SAAFE forum

General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: Fallingstar on 26 August 2009, 11:52:49 am

Title: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fallingstar on 26 August 2009, 11:52:49 am
Ive had such a bizarre time with oddball clients this week that i think we need to start a sweepstakes for your most insane potential client booking scenarios.

My own entries for the week are.

1.Text received yesterday from a guy wanting a booking because my 'ample bum and thighs make me his ideal woman'  :o I feel i must point out that I'm a UK size 8 so I'm not quite sure whose ample assets he was looking at!!

2. Email received Monday from guy wanting a 2 hour outcall (it had to be an outcall because he couldn't leave his dogs alone apparently) He had ?150 to pay me (?80 short of what i charge for a 2 hour outcall) but he could offer me a lift from home and back to compensate for the shortfall as long as i 'don't mind a licking from a Labrador'

3. Phonecall on Sunday from a client i have already seen twice who up until this point seemed quite sane. Wanted to know if i could see him for an hour but 'give him a discount as the credit crunch has bitten him hard'. When i politely told him i don't offer discounts he told me i hadn't seemed the 'type' of girl who would quibble for the sake of ?20 :o

So please please share your own tall tales with me guys,help me to feel I'm not the only one dealing with this insanity.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 26 August 2009, 03:28:56 pm
I don't get too many oddballs - either I don't advertise very well, or my site is incredibly off-putting, lol - could easily be both! Usually I just get 3-4 genuine queries a week which turn into actual bookings, plus a couple of nonsense emails/texts/calls that I just ignore so well that they don't even register on me brain.

But one guy that I can remember recently was a little odd. He sent me loooong emails about himself, his circumstances, his reason for wanting to punt for the first time, his wife... etc. He did ask in the first email about a specific time and date for a booking, so I accepted that and ignored the rest (honestly - the Punter's Etiquette Book should include something about how over-explaining your reasons for wanting to book an escort to the poor girl just makes her feel more uneasy! And it's completely unnecessary since it's really rather obvious why he wants to do it anyway). His emails (only 3 or 4 of them, not like 2,000 texts or anything) continued and he explained at length to me the feelings he was experiencing; first excitement, then concern, then guilt! 'Twas a regular soap opera. He ended up wanting to cancel the second half (bedroom half) of the booking and only take me for lunch, at half normal rate.

I'm sure others'll think I'm weird for this but I've said it before and it's true for me, I don't really like going out and 'dating' clients for hours, for various reasons. So I told him one of the reasons, which was that I didn't have time for lunch out that day, and declined the booking, and he never did reply. I'm not annoyed but am definitely a bit curious about it all! Either he was spinning a loooong complicated yarn, or he was just very open and a little vulnerable? Either way, definitely best he doesn't see me as I don't offer a Full Emotional Support For Everything That's Going Wrong In Your Life package! A sympathetic ear, yes, but honestly, I'm not qualified to treat anything serious and who's going to listen to advice from a WG sitting around in her pants?! Even though my advice is usually EXCELLENT, lol. ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: brandy@saafe on 26 August 2009, 04:55:36 pm
Quote from: Colette on 26 August 2009, 11:52:49 am
.........as long as i 'don't mind a licking from a Labrador'

Pmsl.... :D. That's hilarious.

Quote from: Colette on 26 August 2009, 11:52:49 am
When i politely told him i don't offer discounts he told me i hadn't seemed the 'type' of girl who would quibble for the sake of ?20 :o

Bloody cheek. You should've said "what sort of man quibbles for the sake of ?20." I swear people don't think we've got our own bills to pay.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonEvie on 26 August 2009, 05:17:24 pm

Awww I got a text :)

( I don't accept texts from new people or unless previously agreed.) 

  Hi Eve  Just dropin u a msg to make meetin wit u, seen your profile on line and would love to meet u, bird jus dumped me and i'm free 4 fun if ur free babe let me know


Ok, so Eve, Evie...Almost the same name. though flipping between txtspk and actual real wurdz is a curious thing indeed, and the 'bird jus dumped me' line was a good touch :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 26 August 2009, 08:16:05 pm
Quote from: Colette on 26 August 2009, 11:52:49 am
Wanted to know if i could see him for an hour but 'give him a discount as the credit crunch has bitten him hard'.

If there is one thing you learn with having different characters, is that the same man hollering about a discount will turn around and hire someone again the very next week.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 26 August 2009, 08:34:01 pm
I received this one by text, wanting to know if I would give him a BJ for weed?

Guy called, and has been calling for weeks, wanting an appointment? Finally, made a booking, now I was getting texts and phone calls almost on the hour, then the idiot, asks if we can meet at the University, I say why, he wants to have sex in the on of the class rooms. I told him to fuck off.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 26 August 2009, 11:21:59 pm
I have had a number of weird texts, but this one is still top of the list for me and cracks me up everytime I think of it:

"I'm 16 and in desperate need of a free blowjob."


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 26 August 2009, 11:23:23 pm
Quote from: brandy@saafe on 26 August 2009, 04:55:36 pm
Quote from: Colette on 26 August 2009, 11:52:49 am
.........as long as i 'don't mind a licking from a Labrador'

Pmsl.... :D. That's hilarious.

PMSL too, but I would have said: "that would suit me fine, but the labrador licking incurs and extra charge of ?80."  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 27 August 2009, 08:40:19 am
Quote from: cassie on 26 August 2009, 11:21:59 pm
I have had a number of weird texts, but this one is still top of the list for me and cracks me up everytime I think of it:

"I'm 16 and in desperate need of a free blowjob."


Lol! Really tugs at the heart-strings, that one. :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonEvie on 27 August 2009, 03:23:43 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 27 August 2009, 08:40:19 am


Lol! Really tugs at the heart-strings, that one. :P

I'm 25 and in desperate need of a free pair of Jimmy Choos.. Any takers??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KatieKurves on 27 August 2009, 08:10:52 pm
Quote from: cassie on 26 August 2009, 11:23:23 pm
Quote from: brandy@saafe on 26 August 2009, 04:55:36 pm
Quote from: Colette on 26 August 2009, 11:52:49 am
.........as long as i 'don't mind a licking from a Labrador'

Pmsl.... :D. That's hilarious.

PMSL too, but I would have said: "that would suit me fine, but the labrador licking incurs and extra charge of ?80."  ;D

 ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KatieKurves on 27 August 2009, 08:14:05 pm
I don't take bookings by text! This guy texted a couple of times so I told him to call me for an an appointment. Got about 8 texts straight after one another, I replied CALL ME FOR AN APPOINTMENT!!!!! I can't I'm driving!!!

Or the ones who ask for an OAP discount!!

It really makes you think sometimes dusn't it.  ::)

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 29 August 2009, 09:21:06 pm
My personal fave was a text from one of my younger regulars who had recently lost his job.

"I don't have any money so can I just come round and wank in front of you?"

Followed by, (after I did not reply)

"If not, do you have any friends that would like me to stop by and wank?"


Another one I received when on cam was "can you do a quickie for a fiver?" - Obviuosly not! The reply was "I will go and book a tranny then"

Joy!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Carla on 29 August 2009, 09:46:46 pm
Quote from: pandora on 29 August 2009, 09:21:06 pm
"If not, do you have any friends that would like me to stop by and wank?"

Send him in my direction- I"ll need something to watch once big brother is over for another year.

One of my most memorable was a lovely request from a gentleman to meet as friends, where I would be pleasured by this obviously very selfless man whose main priority was to give me a good time. How thoughtful of him:

"I'd be more into pleasurin u then anything. U work 2 hard and should be treated special and that's what I'd do 4 u."

followed quickly by:

"I'm hopin we can meet up at a friend level where ur not "workin" it'll make the sex so much more passionate. I'm sure u don't get that much. U should give me a discount seein as I'm more focused in givin u pleasure more then anything else ;)"

After being ignored:

"Uve neva given a discount or had sex 4 free?"

and about three hours later:

"I was just askin werent implyin nuffin I'm def willin 2 spend money on u who wouldn't ur an absolute knock out"

I kept them all because the whole conversation still makes me laugh like a drain. Berk.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 30 August 2009, 03:54:23 pm
All this technology has a lot to answer for, now instead of giving idiots a cooling off period, they can spread all their silliness all over the place, and sometimes for free. OI VEY!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 30 August 2009, 06:02:15 pm
Whilst at my working flat we had a quiet week. So advertised a 15min quickie....

Him- You do a 15min quickie and a 2 girl?
Me-Yes, which would you like?
Him-2Girl for 15mins
Me-2Girl is minimum 30 mins
Him- but I only want tossing off!
Me- Its X? for that
Him- Awwwww it says on your profile X? for 15 mins
Me-Is that what you want?
Him- Yes
Me- Oh sorry I misunderstood. Perhaps you intended to neck a bottle of vodka prior to your appointment, so you could see two of me?
Him-Huh?
Me- In that case I shall be both girls and toss you off for X?
Him - Click!


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fallingstar on 30 August 2009, 06:11:42 pm
2 girls for 15 minutes,boy ain't someone the last of the big spenders? ;D

I love it when clients ring me and want duo appointments at the last minute. I had one guy ring me at 3pm last week wanting a booking at 3.30pm with me and another girl,he was astonished when i said i couldn't organise a duo at such short notice. He clearly thought i had female friends living in the wardrobe ready to be brought out at a moments notice.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 31 August 2009, 05:20:16 am
Here's one from last week.

Him: So you offer extras in your services, what are those extras?
Me: I dont go into details about it, but you can just tell me what it is specifically you want
Him: (rambles on, says nothing about what he wants, probably doesnt know)
Me: Like I said, I do offer extras but I wont go into details of it over the phone. What time do you have in mind?
him: In about 30 minutes to an hour.
Me: Ok, whats the address?
Him: Well, I have to think about it some more
Me: Think about what? Look, at this point you clearly have no idea what you want. If you cant let me know what it is you want, dont call me unless you have it figured out.

Oil-slick bastard. Trying to trick me into talking dirty over the phone.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 31 August 2009, 07:50:15 pm
Heres another one...this time, an email. Its why Im about to stop answering them on a particular site.

Me: Hi,
 
I recieved an email reponse from you to my ad JoeyBryant on men4rent. Here's the link to my ad http://www.men4rentnow.com/ds/index.asp?cmd=view&id=215836&Login=JoeyBryant214
 
What are you interested in?

him: (the next morning) Thanks for the reply, but its not going to work this time.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Carla on 01 September 2009, 05:59:17 pm
To my inbox today:

"Hi I am {name} for sex"

If anyone can work out a) what he means and b) what sort of reply he was expecting then you win......AN OVERNIGHT WITH HIM!! Woooooooh!




Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 01 September 2009, 06:03:43 pm
I have the answer to that one! Had a similar email myself. The enquiry was as to weather there was a charge for my services or if I met up with random men purely for my own entertainment. hmmmmmmmm........
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 01 September 2009, 07:19:14 pm
Quote from: Carla on 01 September 2009, 05:59:17 pm
If anyone can work out a) what he means and b) what sort of reply he was expecting then you win......AN OVERNIGHT WITH HIM!! Woooooooh!

LOL!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonEvie on 02 September 2009, 03:24:55 pm
Hahaha! Here we go:


-----------------------------------
I'm potentially interested in an overnighter with your lovely self tomorrow evening. It would be in central london in a top hotel, the swankier the better! :)

The night would involve drinks out in London followed by some cheeky fun back at the hotel. I feel like treating myself for my birthday - so you can expect a top evening :)

Just wondering what the best rate you could do for an eve like this? I was looking for someone around the ?400 mark, I know that could well be a stretch! I'm not a timewaster etc. I've paid ?400 for the past overnighters I've had, hence me quoting that figure.

Also, do you have any clearer pics you could send me?  Also, just double checking, are you an English lass?[/b]
------------------


Wow... Hear that? I can expect less than half my rate and a top evening all at the same time! You are all SO super jealous of me:)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 02 September 2009, 03:47:28 pm
Maybe the poor dear's just coming across badly, but is he telling you his hotel preferences because he expects you to book something suitably swanky?

(I had an email request once where points a-c were about accompanying someone to London and being a fake girlfriend for show, and point d was, "get me home to Brighton safely by 11.45pm, unless it's a 5 star hotel alternative". It was quite baffling and I couldn't compose myself enough to respond until after the deadline.)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: brandy@saafe on 02 September 2009, 04:04:57 pm
Quote from: Evie on 02 September 2009, 03:24:55 pm
Hahaha! Here we go:


-----------------------------------
I'm potentially interested in an overnighter with your lovely self tomorrow evening. It would be in central london in a top hotel, the swankier the better! :)

The night would involve drinks out in London followed by some cheeky fun back at the hotel. I feel like treating myself for my birthday - so you can expect a top evening :)

Just wondering what the best rate you could do for an eve like this? I was looking for someone around the ?400 mark, I know that could well be a stretch! I'm not a timewaster etc. I've paid ?400 for the past overnighters I've had, hence me quoting that figure.

Also, do you have any clearer pics you could send me?  Also, just double checking, are you an English lass?[/b]
------------------


Wow... Hear that? I can expect less than half my rate and a top evening all at the same time! You are all SO super jealous of me:)


An oxymoron surely. A top rate evening at ?400. And you have some gorgeous pictures on your website, what more does he need to see?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 02 September 2009, 06:27:51 pm
Sounds like he wants face pics and a bunch of free time with you. ::) Again, I reckon this might be one of the guys who really confuses escorting with dating?! And doesn't understand that the rates are what they are because the sex is 100% guaranteed awesomeness. I'm pretty sure these guys are prowling around Match.com and Adultfriendfinder as well as escort sites and getting themselves in a right tizzy!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonEvie on 02 September 2009, 10:53:35 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 02 September 2009, 06:27:51 pm
Sounds like he wants face pics and a bunch of free time with you. ::) Again, I reckon this might be one of the guys who really confuses escorting with dating?! And doesn't understand that the rates are what they are because the sex is 100% guaranteed awesomeness. I'm pretty sure these guys are prowling around Match.com and Adultfriendfinder as well as escort sites and getting themselves in a right tizzy!

Or rather someone who thinks I'll take a much lower fee because he is offering me a night in a fancy-pants hotel room shared by a young stud. (bit I edited out he says he's 26)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 02 September 2009, 11:37:30 pm
I would be quite tempted if the hotel had a health spa type place and I had a good book.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 03 September 2009, 07:07:16 am
Since I put my first ever Viva street ad up, I've been getting stupid texts! ;D

Only two so far and sadly they are getting less funny and more stupid. But the first one was good!

"Hi emily im *****. ive seen ur ad. ur stunning. if i was food id want u to eat me"

Oh no wait, the second one was funny at the end. "[txtspk blah]want2 meet up?i'm inexperienced!feminine guy!x x x"

Wot?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fallingstar on 03 September 2009, 09:15:21 am
Quote from: EmilyJones on 03 September 2009, 07:07:16 am
Since I put my first ever Viva street ad up, I've been getting stupid texts! ;D

Only two so far and sadly they are getting less funny and more stupid. But the first one was good!

"Hi emily im *****. ive seen ur ad. ur stunning. if i was food id want u to eat me"

Oh no wait, the second one was funny at the end. "[txtspk blah]want2 meet up?i'm inexperienced!feminine guy!x x x"

Wot?!

I will have your second one Emily,got a thing for girlie guys.

If its vivastreet we are talking about how about this text i got yesterday
'I am a businessman who loves to dress in women's underwear,i would love to meet up with you and wear your knickers. I have some pictures i can send you of me in women's underwear to help you make up your mind'

eh???

Or the phonecall i had yesterday with guy looking for an outcall home booking. I explained i would need his FULL address inc postcode,tel number and FULL name for my security checks or i would not be able to honour the booking. So he sends me a text after the phonecall with first line of his address (no postcode) and his first name with no surname and a note saying 'please don't ring my house or my family might answer'.
I haven't even replied yet,i am in such despair with the idiots at the moment that words have literally failed me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 03 September 2009, 03:28:00 pm
I am sorry Colette, but it does get better, or your sense of humor does improve.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ~Amber~ on 03 September 2009, 07:41:03 pm
I thought I was doing so well this week with the odd emails but then I get this......


hi i have never met an escort before and am really shy - for the first time just wanted to meet for ten mins and lick ur ass and pussy and may be drink ur pee x

how much will this cost with and without the pee x

may after that i will be more comfortable for a longer meet x

Thats a lot to fit into 10 minutes. Doesn't seem that shy to me......just a chancer.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 03 September 2009, 08:58:14 pm
Amber, breathe hon! it does become funnier as the years go by. Kiss
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ~Amber~ on 03 September 2009, 09:14:29 pm
Lol sorry just re read my post and the tone was a bit off. I actually spat my coffee over my cat laughing when I read it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonEvie on 04 September 2009, 01:16:32 am
Quote from: ~Amber~ on 03 September 2009, 07:41:03 pm


how much will this cost with and without the pee x


Hahaha :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fallingstar on 04 September 2009, 09:41:38 am
Well im currently charging a tenner a cup for mine ;D a bargain i believe.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 04 September 2009, 11:26:52 am
Well there's a sign of the economic times. Last time I sold a bottle it was ?20.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The Courtesan on 04 September 2009, 01:54:21 pm
Not quite a "how not to book an escort....." but one (younger) client of mine asked if I needed a f-buddy, couldn't help but laugh in his face  :D - he just didn't get understand what was so funny -  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: brandy@saafe on 04 September 2009, 04:31:18 pm
Quote from: The Courtesan on 04 September 2009, 01:54:21 pm
Not quite a "how not to book an escort....." but one (younger) client of mine asked if I needed a f-buddy, couldn't help but laugh in his face  :D - he just didn't get understand what was so funny -  :)


Yeah...because yet another willy is just what we need.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 05 September 2009, 02:06:11 am
Quote from: brandy@saafe on 04 September 2009, 04:31:18 pm
Yeah...because yet another willy is just what we need.

LOL, I could use another Willy because Im tired of seeing Ass all the time. And Willy can bring Harry and Dick along with him  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 05 September 2009, 02:09:31 am
Quote from: Colette on 03 September 2009, 09:15:21 am
i am in such despair with the idiots at the moment that words have literally failed me.

Thats when I start speaking French  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ~Amber~ on 05 September 2009, 02:45:45 pm
Ok...well...ummm....

Recieved this one today....

Well hey Amber,

I hope your having a nice weekend. I just came across your profile - you seem really genuine and nice. Your pretty new here right? Are you new to escorting too? My ex did escorting and loved it - so hope you get lots of nice fit guys soon :-).

I'm 27, white, english and from Surrey. I'm a really genuine, decent and down to earth guy. I have a good sense of humour and love to laugh. I'm very laid back, non judgemental and open minded. I like to see my girlfriend with other men, it's a big turn on :-).

Have a look at my profile on here, I got some pics and info about me. http://www.adultwork.com/stevesmalls

I only date escorts, hence looking around on the site. I'm looking to meet someone who's cool, down to earth, fun and decent who would like a long term relationship. My last 3 ex girlfriends were escorts and I found the relationships so much better. They were so much more open minded, upfront, honest and caring - not to mention non judgmental and happy in their lives as they didn't have to lie about anything or have secrets, absolutely everything was out in the open. I got fed up dating girls from everyday life / situations, 97% of them were either boring, narrow minded, ignorant, arrogant, extremely judgmental and didn't understand or appreciate my sexual likes and felt that I couldn't be open with them about it as I was made to feel silly. The only no no for me is playing with other women - I am not interested in that. I want the attention to be on my partner and for her to play - not me. I love seeing my partner with other guys - the more the better - it's my ULTIMATE turn on.

I hope you don't mind the message. I'm sure you get sick and tired of guys messaging you, most just wanting freebies, chats, cam sessions or offering to be your photographer / driver or claiming to be the biggest stud in the world :-). My ex said she got all of that through Adultwork and it drove her made, which I can appreciate.

I'll tell you a bit about me... I'm 2* and live in S******. I would say I'm extremely genuine and loyal, a decent guy. I like affection and have a kind, loving, caring, nature. I'm very bubbly, love to have a laugh - have a good sense of humor and like to make people happy. I work full time in London as a I.T Director and in my spare time enjoy spending time with my partner (when I'm not single), going out with friends, having fun etc.

Maybe we could talk sometime, like I say - I don't want anything more than just to get to know you. If you don't want to talk it's cool, I understand. Take care and good luck with everything - my contact details are below if you would like to drop me a line :-).


Insight please!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lauralashes on 05 September 2009, 04:45:26 pm
Sounds like a nutcase/timewaster! Sorry!

I don't understand why guys have to tell us their life story!

I like the line....
Quote from: ~Amber~ on 05 September 2009, 02:45:45 pm
I hope you don't mind the message. I'm sure you get sick and tired of guys messaging you, most just wanting freebies, chats, cam sessions or offering to be your photographer / driver or claiming to be the biggest stud in the world :-). My ex said she got all of that through Adultwork and it drove her made, which I can appreciate.

....  no s--t sherlock, yet he still woffled on!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ~Amber~ on 05 September 2009, 05:02:05 pm
I just read it and was like WTF! He even has a profile on adultwork which i read and some of the details were inconsistant. Gave me a bad feeling no end
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 05 September 2009, 06:16:25 pm
he sounds like a guy who'd tell you everything he thinks you'd want to hear. Form mail more or less...and if it came on the first email, even more reason to move on
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 05 September 2009, 06:47:02 pm
Hit DELETE!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 05 September 2009, 07:14:45 pm
Its subjective I suppose as to how you take it/whos said it. I always say things like you cant go wrong with a short skirt and high heels. However ive never heard my boyfriend say that!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ~Amber~ on 05 September 2009, 09:06:55 pm
Jesus people have more faith I wasnt considering a whirlwind romance!!!!  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 05 September 2009, 09:23:08 pm
Ach girl, you had me worried there for a moment. I thought I was hearing bells in the distance.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ~Amber~ on 06 September 2009, 12:32:14 am
Chances of me ever getting wed are slim to none! I am like a man when it comes to commitment.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 06 September 2009, 12:40:36 am
Quote from: ~Amber~ on 06 September 2009, 12:32:14 am
Chances of me ever getting wed are slim to none! I am like a man when it comes to commitment.

does that mean you run as soon as you get what you want?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ~Amber~ on 06 September 2009, 03:17:49 am
Sorry but pretty much yeah. Don't see the point in trying to do monogamy
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 06 September 2009, 06:11:42 am
I second that, I have tried it just doesn't work for me. I mean monogamy is nice in theory, but we WGs know how  it doesn't work in practice. And all I can say for that is THANK GOD! If all my married clients became monogamous over night I would have to go to the 'darkside' like Amber.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ~Amber~ on 06 September 2009, 02:37:17 pm
If you ever go to the dark side I will know the world is about to end. Talking of which I have my first day tomorrow. I shall pass my regards on to vadar. (I am starting to sound like a geek now aint i?)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 06 September 2009, 05:10:01 pm
Quote from: ~Amber~ on 06 September 2009, 02:37:17 pm
If you ever go to the dark side I will know the world is about to end. Talking of which I have my first day tomorrow. I shall pass my regards on to vadar. (I am starting to sound like a geek now aint i?)

Yup you are, and good luck tomorrow, we want details please.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ~Amber~ on 07 September 2009, 03:18:15 am
You can tell I am nervous 3:17am and I am AWAKE!! fuck, bollocks, arse, tit
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fallingstar on 08 September 2009, 10:07:41 am
Quote from: ~Amber~ on 07 September 2009, 03:18:15 am
You can tell I am nervous 3:17am and I am AWAKE!! fuck, bollocks, arse, tit

So how did the first day go Amber? we need details. Hope it was all good for you?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ~Amber~ on 08 September 2009, 08:01:48 pm
Its actually gone really well but I have proved myself smarter then I looked and now have the problem of waiting for my next part of my training. Suits me down to the ground. Boss is lovely, collegues are cool and the money is ok. Apart from not sleeping its all going smoothly and I even have a client this evening (if he turns up that is - issues of re-inventing and the possibility of the idiots u missed last time, timewasting you this time because they think you are new)

I feel a lot more chilled out about everything. I know how much money I am going to get at the end of the month so I know my budget exactly. I set myself targets for what I want to get with my escorting money so I still work hard in that too. I dont want to let my dedication to escorting slip so I think it is important to set myself these goals.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonEvie on 10 September 2009, 02:29:07 pm
Quote from: ~Amber~ on 06 September 2009, 02:37:17 pm
(I am starting to sound like a geek now aint i?)

Ain't a thing wrong with a little geek love! Glad you feel more chilled/relaxed with it all xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 10 September 2009, 03:06:30 pm
Glad to hear it is all going well.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 10 September 2009, 11:19:16 pm
See, this is why some people get cursed out...

Haent gotten a call in a few days, so I get a bit rusty. I let my guard down a bit. And along comes some chap calling me inquiring if I could do a 3-way with his friend who is 9x7 thick and that his cock is too big for him to take. He goes onto ask if I can handle such a big one and if I'd be willing to 'swallow'. Before I could even emit a reply he hangs up on me....Whats even worse is I didnt realize it was a private number, my phone listed it as being 'Call #1, what the hell is that? I wouldnt of answered it in the first place

People like that just irritate me  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ~Amber~ on 11 September 2009, 12:17:08 am
Had one today which the guys opening line was 'who is this?' well you damn well called it I aint telling you
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fallingstar on 11 September 2009, 08:20:55 am
Quote from: ~Amber~ on 11 September 2009, 12:17:08 am
Had one today which the guys opening line was 'who is this?' well you damn well called it I aint telling you

Ha ha,who precisely was he expecting it to be?

Its not just the men who can be dodgepots though,the ladies appear to be getting in on the act as well. I had an email via AW a few days ago from a girl professing to be 'new to all this' and wanting to book a duo appointment for her and her boyfriend. Tone of the mail was very 'newbie' sounding but when  checked her profile out it turned out the same girl was an experienced escort with other 80 AW feedbacks. The same girl had actually mailed me 6 months ago with the same question but as her escort persona (i have a good memory) She also had another alias pretending to be a man and another one pretending to be a brand new escort. I emailed her back saying that she had alias,appeared to actually be an escort herself and that she had contacted me before. Her reply was that she had created an alias because the duo was going to be a suprise for her boyfriend and she didnt want him to find out.

Now if anyone else can work out if that answer makes any sense your a better woman than me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 11 September 2009, 09:33:07 am
I had had it yesterday. The usual text, starts off something like this:
Idiot: "Hey are you in Waterford?"-Fair enough I do move around a fair bit.
Me: "I will be available around 2 pm. Thanks"-Hotel check in and all
Idiot: "How much is it  hun?" -Can happen, they are looking up on their phones.
Me: "150 half hour 250 an hour"
Idiot: "Wat service's you do hun. X"
Me: Look I am not about to to get into sexting with you. Same place you got my number is the same place you will see my services. And if you got my number from a friend ask him for details!"
He didn't reply :D! haha

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fallingstar on 11 September 2009, 09:40:47 am
Quote from: Violette on 11 September 2009, 09:33:07 am
I had had it yesterday. The usual text, starts off something like this:
Idiot: "Hey are you in Waterford?"-Fair enough I do move around a fair bit.
Me: "I will be available around 2 pm. Thanks"-Hotel check in and all
Idiot: "How much is it  hun?" -Can happen, they are looking up on their phones.
Me: "150 half hour 250 an hour"
Idiot: "Wat service's you do hun. X"
Me: Look I am not about to to get into sexting with you. Same place you got my number is the same place you will see my services. And if you got my number from a friend ask him for details!"
He didn't reply :D! haha

I love the old 'i got your number off a friend' line,not quite as much as the 'I cant remember where i got your number from' classic though.
I mean thats some severe short term memory loss if you cant even remember where you picked my number up from ;D
Had a good one yesterday from a client who rang and asked 'are you good looking?' I replied that he clearly must think i looked good otherwise he wouldnt have seen my website and then rang me. He just went quiet for a second and then said 'fair point' ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 11 September 2009, 08:25:26 pm
Quote from: Violette on 11 September 2009, 09:33:07 am
Idiot: "How much is it  hun?" -Can happen, they are looking up on their phones.
Me: "150 half hour 250 an hour"

One time, someone texted me a question similar to that after claiming to see my ad on a website. I told him to look at my ad as the price is there. Then I said, "repeat to me the price which is on my ad"...He did book though. But still, it can irritate me a bit.

And the 'what are you services'...sometimes it doesnt even bother asking, "what is it that you like" because just by them asking what services automatically lets you know they are full of it. Obviously you called me, horny and such. You should be telling me...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonEvie on 17 September 2009, 01:02:43 am


 Hahaha- Genius text I just got (1 am)

  'Would you do 100? 1 hour outcll Hmpsted north london right now?'

The opportunity to go to a strangers home in the middle of the night with no clue whatsoever who thinks it appropriate to text at this hour... for less than 1/2 my fee??

 I AM SO THERE


(not!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 17 September 2009, 06:48:31 am
Son of A bitch!

For now on Im saving numbers on both phones instead of doing only 1. Just as I was about to save an idiots number onto my other phone, it showed up as 'waster' already. Had I known that I would have called him from my other phone while he was on the phone with me and embarrassed him.

Im getting tired of talking about what I wish I did, Im just going to start doing it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 17 September 2009, 10:21:07 am
My morning text was sent at 2.33am. It simply said, "Wanna make luv x"
Damn I missed it, im rubbish at customer service arent I?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonEvie on 17 September 2009, 10:56:45 am
Quote from: cindy on 17 September 2009, 10:21:07 am
My morning text was sent at 2.33am. It simply said, "Wanna make luv x"
Damn I missed it, im rubbish at customer service arent I?

Yes you are, You should have been awake like a shot for that opportunity :) tsk tsk!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 17 September 2009, 11:39:49 am
Quote from: cindy on 17 September 2009, 10:21:07 am
It simply said, "Wanna make luv x"

Oh, how sultry and romantic! I'm picturing rose petals and champagne, silk and a luxurious canopy bed...

Yeah. You must be kicking yourself for missing out on that totally accurate scenario ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 17 September 2009, 02:57:09 pm
Im picturing a wino, ahem, I mean client stumbling home from the club carrying a kebab. Every girls dream. ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucymay on 17 September 2009, 04:01:32 pm
Quote from: cindy on 17 September 2009, 10:21:07 am
My morning text was sent at 2.33am. It simply said, "Wanna make luv x"
Damn I missed it, im rubbish at customer service arent I?

I've had that one!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 18 September 2009, 06:21:18 am
Quote from: EmilyJones on 17 September 2009, 11:39:49 am
Oh, how sultry and romantic! I'm picturing rose petals and champagne, silk and a luxurious canopy bed...

Yeah. You must be kicking yourself for missing out on that totally accurate scenario ;)

LOL...I need to take note of you all's sense of humor on these things. I just burst into laughter reading this
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 19 September 2009, 11:00:16 am
My latest:
Client: "Hi, Things are really tight. Can I give u oral and u give me handjob for fifteen minutes for 60 today. And i promise i meet u now shortly. And i will give u business in future at going rate"
Violette: "Spare me. The answer is no. Keep your 60 euros. Good bye.
Client: "Ok 100 for twenty minutes. And i give u oral included. Ya?"

I couldn't bother to respond. :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 19 September 2009, 11:19:20 am
This mornings text was "U like big fat cocks?" I think he has a short term memory problem as he sent it 3 times. Oh and "Whats ya postcode?"guy has been back in touch.Oh the joy!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonEvie on 14 October 2009, 02:04:28 pm
Hahaha, AW email:

 "Hello,

I would like to attract your attention to my reverse booking because I like your profil. Please let me know if you are interested.

Reverse Booking Overnight 400?
I will be in London this week end, I would like to spend an evening and possibly the night with a nice young girl. After meeting at an appropriate place, we can go out for a drink or a meal and get to know each other better before going back to my Hotel. I can offer 300? to 400? for the night + outing expenses of coarse. Let me know if you are interested and we can start working out the details.'


Jealous of my awesome offer of about 1/3 of my usual rate? Maybe he'll let me bring a friend  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 14 October 2009, 02:59:57 pm
Haha, dont you mean bring a friend instead?! Still at least you know hes being serious, if he were a TW he would have offered double your rate. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonEvie on 14 October 2009, 03:04:31 pm
Quote from: cindy on 14 October 2009, 02:59:57 pm
Haha, dont you mean bring a friend instead?!

 No I mean then she and I could split the 300 and he'd get an overnight with two, while we're being generous, seeing as he is a serious prospect and all ;)

I edited out the rest of his message which was all about how totally amazing he is at licking pussy  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 14 October 2009, 04:06:31 pm
I got this gem the other teatime (and I suspect I'm not the only one):

"hi,

I would like to book you in paris for a full weekend. how much would you like?

i expect from you to do : anal sex, CIM, CIF, COB, 69, oral without... and i have also a dirty fantasy i would like to try...
I would like to see you shit and pee in an empty bathub and we will make love in your own shit.

Tell me if interested. Of course we would stay in some safe hotel inside paris like Marriott, Hyatt or hotels like this.

Tell me,

Kisses"

Despite it's unusually lyrical tone, it fair put me off me crumble ;D. Good old AW.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 15 October 2009, 03:32:53 am
Just had a text:
Wana suk my hug blak dong? xxx

I'm so tempted to reply with: Only if you have a ding to go with it.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby on 15 October 2009, 01:32:12 pm

Got this email today, what a corker! You always know what a booking is going to be like when they ask 'how many times can I cum' to which I always reply, 'only you know that - it's mother nature.'

Hello,
I would like to make a booking for 1 hour, this is all new to me I 
just wanna have some fun before  my big day, just  want to have lots 
of sex, from what I have been Reading on the most girls let you cum 
once, it that the rule ?? I just want to have a good time before my 
big day.
 
Please email back asap
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 15 October 2009, 09:05:47 pm
Big day?! I assume his birthday. Or maybe once a year he just has a Really Big Day, during which he cums twice. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucymay on 19 October 2009, 09:01:20 am
Got this email

hi hun, are u free next week (mon/tues) for a 1/2 hr incall ? is bareback/unprotected sex ok if I pull out before I cum.

until we meet

mwah x
rob
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 20 October 2009, 01:46:35 am
Got this one yesterday about 3am

I'm not calling you hun, because I know you will be sleeping and I don't want to disturb you. Please can you come for an outcall at 9:30am. Call me back. Thanks hun, N.

Well when did he expect me to reply to this booking as my call hours are 10am-10pm? (not someone I've seen before btw)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Carissa on 21 October 2009, 11:51:02 pm
Quote from: Evie on 14 October 2009, 02:04:28 pm
Hahaha, AW email:

 "Hello,

I would like to attract your attention to my reverse booking because I like your profil. Please let me know if you are interested.

Jealous of my awesome offer of about 1/3 of my usual rate? Maybe he'll let me bring a friend  :)


lol i got that one too - i wrote back saying not a chance in hell mate.... he then replied asking if I were sure!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonEvie on 22 October 2009, 03:03:42 am
Quote from: Carissa on 21 October 2009, 11:51:02 pm
Quote from: Evie on 14 October 2009, 02:04:28 pm
Hahaha, AW email:

 "Hello,

I would like to attract your attention to my reverse booking because I like your profil. Please let me know if you are interested.

Jealous of my awesome offer of about 1/3 of my usual rate? Maybe he'll let me bring a friend  :)


lol i got that one too - i wrote back saying not a chance in hell mate.... he then replied asking if I were sure!!!!!

Awwww, here I thought I was just special, Dang it! :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fallingstar on 22 October 2009, 08:39:42 am
Awww come on now ladies you could have missed out on a free breakfast by turning those amazing offers and who amongst us doesn't want to eat stale croissants and drink over brewed coffee with a stranger of the morning? ;D

Phonecall yesterday
He:I'm looking for an outcall to my home tonight,whats your rate for an hour?
Me: Its ?130 for the first hour if you live within 15 miles of my address.
He: (Long long pause) ermmm ?130 seems a bit steep,would you do it for ?115 if i provide a bottle of wine and make you a cup of tea whilst your here?

 :o :o :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 22 October 2009, 10:16:43 am
::)

Did you offer him ?120 with a bottle of wine and a cup of coffee?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 22 October 2009, 05:43:24 pm
No ta love, I can run round the offy/bribe one of the kids to put the kettle on, now if you had a pack of hobnobs things might be different...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 23 October 2009, 01:28:27 am
Collette, I have had the same.............?125 for your outcall to a local hotel. Right, well I do tend to only ask for incall or a compromise for localish hotels but that was 1am!!!and I know that walking into that local hotel at that time would attract some attention. So a higher fee or not at all required.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: dollymopp on 23 October 2009, 02:56:12 am
My all time fave,
'I'm a crazy boob licker!' he mails
I said, 'Sorry, I haven't got crazy boobs'..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 23 October 2009, 08:35:07 am
Quote from: dollymopp on 23 October 2009, 02:56:12 am
My all time fave,
'I'm a crazy boob licker!' he mails
I said, 'Sorry, I haven't got crazy boobs'..

I want to frame this ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 24 October 2009, 02:00:44 am
Him: Hi, are you available for a massage tonight?  
Me: Yes, Im staying on (Fill in Blank). what time do you have in mind?
Him: Hotel? At 7  
Me: (Mind you, its already 6:15 pm) Its the ___ hotel. But Im going to need until 730, is that okay with you?
Him: Sorry I know I didnt give you notice, but my time is tight. Enjoy Chicago!
Me: Well I dont see how you expected to get a massage at 7 if you were so short on time. Please dont waste mine!


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 24 October 2009, 03:55:22 am
Hmmmmmm.....Im pretty sure some people do this on purpose. Book you knowing full well its too late for you to even pause to grab your jacket. I get this with Adultwork cam shows a lot, can you do a show like 10 minutes ago? Sure just let me go and make sure I dont get a ticket on my time machine parked outside... ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 25 October 2009, 11:33:53 pm
The Ultimate Timewasting call!

Can you believe this dummy calls me asking me to call up his wife and talk dirty to her for him because they are having a bachelor party...fuck I couldnt even recall why he wanted me to do it thats how ridiculous it sounded. Then he says to not mention his name. Do I have stupid written across my fucking advertisement?

I cursed his ass out!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 27 October 2009, 10:30:23 am
First a I get a PM asking me if I can recommend some fun for this guy and his GF as they are coming to the Dam. I reply, and phone calls(which I don't answer, as I am roaming), then I start getting text messages, which I give Dutch number to. Ok, so he starts with this, that, and the other, then to make a long story short, he isn't really sure if his GF really wants a threesome! He as to discuss it with her. I was like look, just call back when you know the details. Knowing full well this idiot is a bleeping TW, who will call internationally to play games! Oh I get a text a few days later, saying he was in the Dam and his GF didn't want a threesome! Surprise!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 27 October 2009, 10:13:29 pm
Vio, Im starting to find the ridiculous timewasters a bit fun...especially when they are able to work up the nerve to pick up the phone and call me. Many of them hide behind text and emails.

When they call me with something stupid and ridiculous as if Im some type of new fuck on the block, I just go off on them. Or I may just 'find the hole' in their story and be very sarcastic...a bit more fun than getting my blood pressure up LOL.  I wish I could witness them tucking their tails between the legs  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 28 October 2009, 10:26:51 am
TW phoned me to book an appointment. Then texts me within 5 minutes to beg for free phonesex! I reminded him of our appointment in a couple of hours. His excuse? "Oh go on, please."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 28 October 2009, 11:36:52 am
As to having a bit of fun with them, I too have been devilishly wicked, and sometimes I will give them a great deal of leash just to snap it back. On guy was txting me away, and when I told him, he needs to call for info, he texts back and says he is driving and can't talk. I forwarded his message back to him, and texted: "If I sent you this message, would you believe me?" I didn't hear from him anymore.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Welsh Lass on 28 October 2009, 11:41:58 am
Email this morning:

'I want sex. I have no money but I do have a laptop with windows 7 on it - you know - the new one. You can have it for sex.'

Ohhh, I am on my way over Sir, I will do ANYTHING  for WINDOWS 7!!!!!!!

Haaaaaaaa!
Twit.
x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 28 October 2009, 05:51:45 pm
Now if he had said it was the new Apple mac book pro 13"aluminum(still in box with warranty), or the Mac book Air, then he was working with some impressive equipment, Windows 7, not if my life depended on it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 28 October 2009, 06:18:37 pm
Quote from: Abby on 28 October 2009, 11:41:58 am
'I want sex. I have no money but I do have a laptop with windows 7 on it - you know - the new one. You can have it for sex.'

I'm actually really hoping this guy was for real. Then it's even more funny. Men!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 29 October 2009, 01:15:19 am
Colette, I think your mission has been completed in this thread LOL...What an oasis you have created here. At what point are we going to narrow it all down and see who's had the most outrageous timewaster?

Quote from: Violette on 28 October 2009, 11:36:52 am
On guy was txting me away, and when I told him, he needs to call for info, he texts back and says he is driving and can't talk. I forwarded his message back to him, and texted: "If I sent you this message, would you believe me?" I didn't hear from him anymore.

At first I didnt understand the scene, but then I read it again...how stupid! He's driving while texting and initiated the texts...Wouldnt talking be safer than sex? Boingo....

Quote from: Violette on 28 October 2009, 05:51:45 pm
Windows 7, not if my life depended on it.

 >:( Leave us alone, Im still working with Vista :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Welsh Lass on 30 October 2009, 09:28:08 am
Vista? Not around here Joey! I have one of the last high spec Dell's they made with regular old Windows XP/office/whatever you darn well call it, on it and I would not swap it, not for anything!
My friend has Vista and you want to hear her moan about it! Flip.
x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fallingstar on 30 October 2009, 09:38:40 am
I think its safe to say that Joey is right and this thread has well and truly given us all a place to rant. I think Ive now amassed enough examples to put into the upcoming book I'm secretly writing about you all ;)

Email on AW for me this morning.
'I am a professional 32 year old man with a (not that unusual i think) fetish of loving to fondle beautiful women's worn underwear. I was wondering if i could acquire a pair of your used knickers? I would of course be happy to reimburse you the cost of them. I was wondering if you had a spare 5 minutes tomorrow where i can pop round to your incall place and purchase a pair from you?' I will pay you for your time used if required'

So basically you want to pop round to my flat,get an eyeful of what i look like,speak to me and find out my address. But you can do it all on the cheap under the ruse of just wanting a pair of knickers so therefore avoiding paying my going rate for a booking?

Or maybye I'm being cynical and i should flog him my George at Asda knickers for ?80 under the guise of them being Agent Provocateur ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Carla on 30 October 2009, 10:39:23 am
Quote from: Abby on 28 October 2009, 11:41:58 am
'I want sex. I have no money but I do have a laptop with windows 7 on it - you know - the new one. You can have it for sex.'
it.

Hahahahaha HA!!! OH MY GODDDDDDD! Crying here!

So I took my site down about two weeks ago, and immediately received a flurry of emails (was curious and checked my email account) begging or negotiating for one last shag from people who had written literally a year ago, and when I had initially replied, they had just ignored my request for them to call me.

Oh, you want me to reply now you know I am not working? And you are going to book an appointment for real are you, yes? Not just trying to see if you have the sexual prowess to make a non-working escort start working again, are you? ARGH!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 30 October 2009, 12:30:45 pm
Not crying as heard it all before. But must admit spat my tea out!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 31 October 2009, 07:17:43 am
Quote from: cindy on 30 October 2009, 12:30:45 pm
Not crying as heard it all before. But must admit spat my tea out!  ;D
I've stopped drinking tea, when reading the boards. Or eating chips/crisps, cookies/biscuits, it is just hazardous for my keyboards. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 01 November 2009, 03:22:02 am
Quote from: Abby on 30 October 2009, 09:28:08 am
Vista? Not around here Joey! I have one of the last high spec Dell's they made with regular old Windows XP/office/whatever you darn well call it, on it and I would not swap it, not for anything!
My friend has Vista and you want to hear her moan about it! Flip.
x


Initially Vista was a pain when I first got it, but once I had worked out most of how it operates I love it and wouldn't go back.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 02 November 2009, 01:29:03 am
LOL!

Had a phone call Saturday evening, youngish guy, asking pretty valid questions, told him I couldn't see him tonight, then arghhh.
Him: How much is your over night fee?

Me:(Groan) ?900

Him: What if I give you ?1200 for a 1 hour shag?

Me: Sorry no - (Click)

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 02 November 2009, 01:36:27 am
Ha ha. Had a call a couple of days ago myself asking relavent questions then foiled his plan by asking if I enjoyed my job. He got a click off me too.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fallingstar on 13 November 2009, 09:00:19 am
Sorry to resurrect an older thread but i just cant help myself.

Im laid up in the house at the moment with bad dose of flu :( Ive left a message on my work phone (which is switched off) saying that i am currently ill and not taking any bookings. Considering my voice is that sore i sound like ive had a sex change i dont think anyone could question my sincerity.

So i checked my voicemails last night.
1st message-'Hi i know your ill but i wasent looking for a booking today,im planning to see you next week. I was just wanting to have a chat about what it is that booking an escort involves and what services you offer (groan). Im looking for a massage with HR and was wondering what the price would be for that (groan groan and double groan). Could you ring me back please as soon as you get this message'

Yes i would be delighted to ring you when im feeling like death to answer you inane questions you muppet!

2nd Message-'Hi im looking to make an appointment. Can you tell me when you will be better please?'

Certainly,i will just get my crystal ball out and check to see when i will be fighting fit again >:(

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: anonymoussw on 13 November 2009, 09:22:52 am
Quote from: Colette on 13 November 2009, 09:00:19 am
2nd Message-'Hi im looking to make an appointment. Can you tell me when you will be better please?'

LOL!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 13 November 2009, 09:50:58 am
Just priceless.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 13 November 2009, 03:05:42 pm
Today email from Adultwork.
"Hi,
I would like to start seeing somebody on a regular basis but there are not very many pics of you.
If you can give me the pin number for your private gallery it will help me decide."
x
Hmmmmmm. How about NO?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 14 November 2009, 12:07:14 am
Got a text:

Hi, I know u said no text i am shy & a bit on the submisive side like being held by strong legs &thigs can u help mark.

Well since I don't relpy to texts - no!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonEvie on 14 November 2009, 11:07:43 pm
My fav of the week, a text:

 Hi i am lookin 4 a 4 days booking if u can do it tex me and i'll call u i well pay u 8,000?  Patel xx


 I love that he put the little text comma in the 8000, so it would look all super official and serious :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xxxtinyxxx on 15 November 2009, 06:10:27 pm
Hello Everyone,

I recently had a text asking me "How much would you charge me to squat over your face and fart in your mouth?"
WTF!!!!

Love N' Hugz.

Mak.
xxxxxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 16 November 2009, 03:13:41 am
Quote from: xxxtinyxxx on 15 November 2009, 06:10:27 pm
Hello Everyone,

I recently had a text asking me "How much would you charge me to squat over your face and fart in your mouth?"
WTF!!!!

oooo, no he didnt! I would of cursed his ass out. That is so disrespectful. And if he did it in person he'd be out the door
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 16 November 2009, 08:41:31 am
Quote from: xxxtinyxxx on 15 November 2009, 06:10:27 pm
Hello Everyone,

I recently had a text asking me "How much would you charge me to squat over your face and fart in your mouth?"
WTF!!!!

Love N' Hugz.

Mak.
xxxxxx
I mean, how can this be a turn on?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: anonymoussw on 16 November 2009, 01:07:29 pm
I've had it happen to me by accident before, but nobody has ever requested it  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonEvie on 28 November 2009, 12:27:30 am
Haha, Who had this one today?   ;D Or is this one allll mine.  ???



 Allow me first to introduce myself.  My name is [redacted],  with a spirit I hope the earth cannot contain... Im fit and very well groomed, I enjoy taking care of myself, as much as I enjoy life and all the pleasures it can provide us..
 
My path crossed your website and was intrigued by all I read and saw... Your beauty surpasses my imagination...  Your creativity, uniqueness and femininity flowed off your pages with an eclectic attractiveness that left me only to view it again and again... Your deeply ravishing beauty coupled with a Mistress's intrigue perfected all I saw...  And left me with only want and desire of pleasurable moments with you...
 
Please allow me to be forward and in no way impolite... I would love the opportunity to be with you, discover you with all my senses and allow us to journey together into a blissful unknown... I would love to see you, feel you as pure and silky smooth as you can be... adorned with with the most beautiful pedicured nails... Your scent transcending me worlds away...You are not an object but a goddess I desire to worship... I dream of opening my eyes to you opening your door, wearing high heels with laced thigh high stockings, delicate black lingerie and a very sultry revealing silk robe... Your smile enchants me as you invite me in...
 
I am taken by the warmth of your presence and how it compliments all I thought of you... There a bowl of freshest of fruits and the sweetest of wines, you offer me a grape that I eat from you, with you, from within you... As we drink and laugh and eat together, licking the pieces and juices of fruit from our half naked bodies, we begin to gently kiss and caress until we find each others lips and kiss as deeply as 2 floating spirits find one another...
 
We then move to the bathroom and share a warm milk bath together, caressing and bathing each other, sharing more laughs and pleasures with every touch, your beauty would overwhelm me and would want you there and now, leaving the warmth of the water to guide and govern our sensual desires...
 
We are left to discover the intimacy of the bedroom... Where I would beg for you to massage by body...yet I would love to be massaged with your feet, touched and caressed all over with your beautiful delicate feet... Blindfolded I lie there addicted and infatuated with every touch and gentle penetration of your feet all over my naked body... I can only of course return the pleasure and will begin by worshiping all that touched me... For the divine beauty of women is what caresses my soul.. Your every gentle curve and every inviting crevice only ache me to fulfill you more... No more can be said, for a gentleman never speaks about what more is to become...  All I will say is that will respect all who you are and cherish your boundaries as you do mine..
 
Excuse the length and depth of this email but I want a beautiful time together.  All I write are mere suggestions, I will leave you to create our dream reality.. for its always delicisiouly invigorating when left for fate to decide and play with us...
 
I will be arriving to London on Tuesday and would love to see you Thursday 3rd.  I will be staying at [redacted]and would love to arrange for a 3h encounter together..

 I await for your sweet reply confirming your availability and any additional thoughts on our time together..
 
Thank you for your time and may I wait until the pleasure is all mine....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 28 November 2009, 04:21:55 am
The fool is allllll yours.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fallingstar on 28 November 2009, 09:13:07 am
Evie we have to know if you replied to him or if a  Divine goddess such as yourself does not communicate by such base forms as email ;)

One thing bothering me,where precisely does he think you are getting enough milk to fill a bath with! Is he bringing it himself or does he think you have a cow stashed in your living room for every time you fancy living out your Cleopatra fantasies ;D

Its almost sweet (in an utterly demented way)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 28 November 2009, 09:28:27 am
I have re-read this, once wasn't enough, and I think our man here is a sub, looking for a femme fatale fantasy, he just has a wordy way of asking for his fantasy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mango on 28 November 2009, 10:00:22 am
o_o

Isn't this inspired by the bible? The Canticum Canticorum (song of songs? I have no idea in english) talks about grapes and milk etc, it's porny all around.

I have to wonder how you get a bath of warm milk.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 28 November 2009, 10:58:28 am
Mango, you are referring to the Song of Songs by King Solomon. Yes he did indeed go on about full breasts and the like. :) Generally milk baths are not pure milk, just milk and some aromatic oils and herbs added for scent. So no need to have a cow or truck standing by.  ;D

Milk and honey together is another nice bath combo, with some rose petals and rose essential oil added, very nice after a rough week.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 28 November 2009, 11:27:43 am
Quote from: Mango on 28 November 2009, 10:00:22 am
I have to wonder how you get a bath of warm milk.

Use powdered ;D.

Like Violette says though, it does need some oils and things or it's a bit rank. And for God's sake make sure you get rid of every trace after  :-X.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 28 November 2009, 02:02:34 pm
 Amy, I think you were joking about the powdered milk, but that is exactly what many recipies recommend and I use.  :D

I love my relaxing baths, here are a couple of nice ones:
 
Patchouli Milk Bath
Mix 1 cup of powdered milk, 2-3 drops patchouli scented oil, 1/4 cup of sea salt and add to bath. Patchouli oil is known for it's relaxing benefits and the scent of the patchouli flower is considered to an aphrodisiac.

Milk and Honey Bath here you go Violette
Mix 1/2 cup liquid honey, 3 cups powdered milk, lavender buds (added for color and fragrance)  in a large bowl and then transfer to a container or decorative glass bottle if you are making it as a gift.
Scoop out a good handful of the milk bath and dissolve in a warm bath. Mixture keeps for a few weeks.

Floral Milk Bath Infusion
2 cups powdered milk mixed with 1 tsp dried orange peel, 2 tsp dried lavender flowers, 2 tsp dried rose petals, 2 tsp dried marigold flowers and a drizzle of sweet almond oil and put in a container.

Too to stop the plughole getting bunged up and the to make cleaning the bath easier put bath mixtures containing petals and leaves in an old (clean) stocking and hang under the hot water tap or if you are posh use a muslin bag.

As Amy said, be sure to take a thorough shower after the milkbath and give the tub a good scrub too, milky deposites left anywhere get rank quickly. :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 28 November 2009, 03:09:34 pm
I've confirmed with Evie that her guy is the same one that contacted me a few months back. My email was less out there but I thought you might appreciate seeing a bit more of his range. ;D

Do read down to the second paragraph at least.



Hi Anika,
 
My name is [Rumplestiltskin], 32yo, fit, well educated and travelled gentleman that fate led to your website... I was very intruiged by all I read and saw... It wasnt your pics or services you offer etc, but how your words portrayed your confidence, honesty and comfort in their own skin...  rarely do you come across someone as mature and worldy experienced as you seem with age still on their side....
 
After reading your website in detail, I felt it would be a beautiful pleasure to share a night or even a weekend with you... a place to allow ourselves to set free our minds and interact as strangers naturally should... To speak, to laugh, to drink, to kiss as natures reflections could... and to connect as two lost spirits would...
 
I'd like to make the trip down to brighton and meet you there for an evening of memorable moments, infused by the wildness of our desires, and guided by the intellect of our minds...
 
I'd love to meet on the evening of the 24th and go together for a delectable dinner with finest of red wines as we talk and know more of each other through our words and gazes of our eyes... We then head off to a club of your choice (I will be a stranger in your land, so guide me to where is right...) and enjoy the crowd, the passion, the limelight... After that head back home to your place or mine and spend the rest of the evening discovering and pleasuring each other, guided by what we both desire....  The next day, we awake comfortably and go have breakfast on a beach cafe somewhere... enjoying the sunshine against our bodies and penetrating our souls... We then head down to a naturist spa where we both relax and share some more with each other, naked and free to play as we feel....   After that we both go our own ways and hopefully bless the day that we met and the smiles that we shared, and hope only for the best for each of our journeys in this life....
 
I hope little of what I have portrayed is acceptable to you and have the time and will to meet together that friday evening and saturday. 
 
I was greatly attracted to your wit, openness and especially sense of hygene.  I too beleive life is too frutile to play with and happy that you share the same limits and concerns...
 
Please let me know your thoughts on this and if your available on those days.... I know its still a few weeks off but would like to arrange early and book for hotels etc for our weekend by the sea.... Although not expecting many emails back and forth as we both have busy lifes to lead, but hope to share a little together before we meet...
 
 
 
I await your reply and wish you beautiful days till then...
 
[Rumplestiltskin]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 28 November 2009, 04:55:24 pm
Dear god!
Now I am curious, did he go through with the appointment, or did it indeed turn into a nightmare of back and forthing with emails. He seems once he gets the wind up him that there is no stopping the amount of drivel he can sprout.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 28 November 2009, 05:31:40 pm
He got more down to earth when I started to reply (I think putting a dampener on romantic prose is an effect I have), and when I said the date wasn't good he didn't suggest an alternative one, which made me think he might be genuine. I passed him on to a friend who likes pretentious clients and she planned stuff by email with him, but then he cancelled before any phone contact. I don't know if she was wading through text or not.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 28 November 2009, 05:59:30 pm
Ah-ha, so there is still the possibility that someone might get lucky and be bored to death by him in person.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 28 November 2009, 07:08:04 pm
Quote from: cassie on 28 November 2009, 02:02:34 pm
Amy, I think you were joking about the powdered milk, but that is exactly what many recipies recommend and I use.  :D


I wasn't, y'know. My Gran used to use it and I have too, although not for years - I'd forgotten all about it! It is great for softening skin and I'm off out to buy some tomorrow :D.

Quote from: cassie on 28 November 2009, 02:02:34 pm
As Amy said, be sure to take a thorough shower after the milkbath and give the tub a good scrub too, milky deposites left anywhere get rank quickly. :-X


This is the worst bit - and don't forget about flannels and sponges. I vividly remember turning the bathroom upside down at my old place years ago because of the horrendous stench that I couldn't identify and was convinced the drains were backing up, only to find it was a sponge that had the milk bath on which had been hanging around in the warm for a couple of weeks  :-X. Not recommended.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 29 November 2009, 12:11:38 pm
I sometimes complain about people using email to ask for a same-day booking, but this one easily wins that category.

Sent at 01:51 this morning.

hai anika i am [tinky winky] from brighton.I need today 2.30am my number is ***********.my place is 1[laa-laa] street near mammo cherry resturant
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 29 November 2009, 12:30:53 pm
More like Dipsy, I'd have thought. I take it they had Po luck?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 29 November 2009, 11:26:34 pm
Quote from: amy on 28 November 2009, 07:08:04 pm
Quote from: cassie on 28 November 2009, 02:02:34 pm
As Amy said, be sure to take a thorough shower after the milkbath and give the tub a good scrub too, milky deposites left anywhere get rank quickly. :-X

This is the worst bit - and don't forget about flannels and sponges. I vividly remember turning the bathroom upside down at my old place years ago because of the horrendous stench that I couldn't identify and was convinced the drains were backing up, only to find it was a sponge that had the milk bath on which had been hanging around in the warm for a couple of weeks  :-X. Not recommended.
Uh, yes forgot to mention those, my lesson was when I let my shower curtain hang in my milkbath and some of it stayed in the crease/seam at the bottom of the curtain - it took me days to work out what it was, I even had the bathpanel off thinking something had died behind it, lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 29 November 2009, 11:32:22 pm
Ok, guy called, said he wanted to know about my services,
I said: yeees?
he said: is sex included?
I said: yes.
He said: so you do f**king?
 ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexxx on 29 November 2009, 11:36:04 pm
Cassie - thanks for the lovely recipes. I'm gonna try one tomorrow night!
What a darling! Thanks once again x x x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 29 November 2009, 11:42:26 pm
Quote from: MissAlex on 29 November 2009, 11:36:04 pm
Cassie - thanks for the lovely recipes. I'm gonna try one tomorrow night!
What a darling! Thanks once again x x x
No probs hun, hope you enjoy them as much as I do and let me know if you did.  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: darlington_girl on 01 December 2009, 08:41:29 pm
I've recenlt been getting messages from this guy who thinks it's sad that i have to work and how he wishes i didn't have to...!!?? I don't even know or met him! I spoke and arranged the booking but have cancelled as honest he was freaking me out. He texted everyday along lines of 'morning, how are you? safe? let me know i'm worried' if i didn't reply the texts get more frantic one even saying he was to call the police as worried something had happened to me!! I told him straight to leave me alone and has done the trick though noticed had email on aw from him but just deleted it ha. I'm so cruel. I don't mean to be as sweet someone cares isn't it. But well, it's bit weird when haven't even met him...! bless him ha x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 01 December 2009, 08:46:42 pm
Urgh. Sometimes potential clients really wind me up (doesn't help I have exams in my other life and am stressed from that...)
Just had an email from a guy offering me a 2hour appointment for less than I normally charge for 1hour! When I informed him of this, he told me the 'offer still stood if I didn't get anything else'! Which really wound me up lol. I mean, I don't like the implication that I'm so desperate for clients that I'm going to drop a substantial amount to go and tolerate him! *presses block*
Lol, sorry for the rant, but that feels so much better! :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 03 December 2009, 02:23:10 am
Quote from: darlington_girl on 01 December 2009, 08:41:29 pm
I've recenlt been getting messages from this guy who thinks it's sad that i have to work and how he wishes i didn't have to...!!?? I don't even know or met him! I spoke and arranged the booking but have cancelled as honest he was freaking me out. He texted everyday along lines of 'morning, how are you? safe? let me know i'm worried' if i didn't reply the texts get more frantic one even saying he was to call the police as worried something had happened to me!! I told him straight to leave me alone and has done the trick though noticed had email on aw from him but just deleted it ha. I'm so cruel. I don't mean to be as sweet someone cares isn't it. But well, it's bit weird when haven't even met him...! bless him ha x
Not sweet hun, sick, in the stalker fashion, be very careful with this kind of guy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 03 December 2009, 03:17:06 am
Oh god I shouldn't still be up but I just remembered this.

So around Tuesday lunchtime I was in my muddy jeans and the boots with chicken poo in the treads, cycling down a country lane to the hen sanctuary I volunteer at. My work phone rang and since it was in my pocket I hopped off my bike and answered the call, which was apparently coming from India.

The guy asked if I did phone sex and I said yes, but I wouldn't be home until 7pm GMT. I told him how much it cost and how I took payment, he said he'd call me back in the evening and I got on my way.

A few minutes later I was off the bike again, this time because I'd got outside the sanctuary and found one of the brown hens exploring outside the outer fence. While I was working out what to do about it the Indian guy called back. I told him I had a situation but he blabbered on anyway so I said he had to be quick. He asked me if, before he paid for the phone sex, I couldn't just give him a taster for free? I said no. He said couldn't I just do one minute so he could make up his mind? I told him I really didn't care if he booked or not so I wasn't interested in convincing him.

In the end I didn't get to find out what he sounds like when he comes, but I did chase the hen back to safety and cleaned out all the drinkers before it got dark :).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 03 December 2009, 03:26:14 am
Quote from: Anika Mae on 03 December 2009, 03:17:06 am
Oh god I shouldn't still be up but I just remembered this.

So around Tuesday lunchtime I was in my muddy jeans and the boots with chicken poo in the treads, cycling down a country lane to the hen sanctuary I volunteer at. My work phone rang and since it was in my pocket I hopped off my bike and answered the call, which was apparently coming from India.

The guy asked if I did phone sex and I said yes, but I wouldn't be home until 7pm GMT. I told him how much it cost and how I took payment, he said he'd call me back in the evening and I got on my way.

A few minutes later I was off the bike again, this time because I'd got outside the sanctuary and found one of the brown hens exploring outside the outer fence. While I was working out what to do about it the Indian guy called back. I told him I had a situation but he blabbered on anyway so I said he had to be quick. He asked me if, before he paid for the phone sex, I couldn't just give him a taster for free? I said no. He said couldn't I just do one minute so he could make up his mind? I told him I really didn't care if he booked or not so I wasn't interested in convincing him.

In the end I didn't get to find out what he sounds like when he comes, but I did chase the hen back to safety and cleaned out all the drinkers before it got dark :).

F**k, didn't realise it was this late myself!

LOL, maybe you should have let him listen to you chasing the hen back into it's coop, especially on what it must cost him to phone from India.

Right - bed time!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 03 December 2009, 06:23:31 am
Quote from: Anika Mae on 29 November 2009, 12:11:38 pm
I sometimes complain about people using email to ask for a same-day booking, but this one easily wins that category.

Sent at 01:51 this morning.

hai anika i am [tinky winky] from brighton.I need today 2.30am my number is ***********.my place is 1[laa-laa] street near mammo cherry resturant

So did you meet him? Once in a blue...I'll get a text or email like that, but for some reason; at the end of 2009 I am finding they are too flakey so I proceed with caution.

But you know what I hate?

When someone calls or IM's me after say 10-11 at night asking for an appointment for tomorrow. I told one guy, "Its 1230, at this hour; Im not taking no advanced booking. They know damn well, and me too...that the only time you contact someone that late is if you are ready RIGHT NOW. Otherwise, why the hell would you be calling so late? You're horny now...arent you? Sheesh, some people  >:(

and you know why I got so annoyed? He was from Chicago! That is the land of escort buggers. They talk alot of shit, but don't ever do shit. Its one of the reasons why I was so firm with him. I ******* cant stand people in Chicago  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 03 December 2009, 11:13:15 am
Quote from: JoeyR on 03 December 2009, 06:23:31 am
So did you meet him?

What? No. I was in bed and didn't check my emails until the sun had come up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 03 December 2009, 01:31:44 pm
Quote from: JoeyR on 03 December 2009, 06:23:31 am
When someone calls or IM's me after say 10-11 at night asking for an appointment for tomorrow. I told one guy, "Its 1230, at this hour; Im not taking no advanced booking. They know damn well, and me too...that the only time you contact someone that late is if you are ready RIGHT NOW. Otherwise, why the hell would you be calling so late? You're horny now...arent you? Sheesh, some people  >:(

and you know why I got so annoyed? He was from Chicago! That is the land of escort buggers. They talk alot of shit, but don't ever do shit. Its one of the reasons why I was so firm with him. I ******* cant stand people in Chicago  >:(

Just turn your phone off!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexxx on 03 December 2009, 02:10:56 pm
Or put in on silent in another room (so the stupid flashing light indicating a call doesn't rouse us from our well deserved sleep)

I have someone who calls once a week asking for details. I answered the phone to him yesterday and when he asked for details I said - You must know what I look like, how much I charge and what area Im in by now as you phone every week asking the same things. I doubt we're ever actually going to meet so unless you have a serious enquiry, plase stop calling me! He spluttered - oh yes, I remember you now! I'm sorry for calling back again and again. I do intend to come and see you at some point....to which I replied, well call me 'at some point' when you have the cash and know when you'd like to see me.
Some people. Honestly. Do my f$%king head in. He always says 'Bless Ya' too which makes me want to scream at him! I don't want blessing you fool. I want to earn some money. Now get off the line as I have proper enquiries to deal with. Dick.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ooohlala on 03 December 2009, 03:42:19 pm
Quote from: MissAlex on 03 December 2009, 02:10:56 pm
I don't want blessing you fool. I want to earn some money. Now get off the line as I have proper enquiries to deal with. Dick.

Hee hee that post from Alex made me right giggle  ;D

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lustylisaa on 03 December 2009, 06:58:07 pm
just had quite an interesting text

'looking for an outcall tonight, around 9ish do you do outdoor play? looking to submit and be humiliated if possible.'

a few texts later i establish he is in coventry (so quite far) i explain i would need charge him an hours rate. and would do outside if i could bring my driver.

he replied 'i was looking for 30 mins for 60-70 please? its all for your amusement?'

so i was to travel to middle of nowhere for less than half what i charge and .. oh yes.. it was my enjoyment he was thinking of?? lol

so i sent a text back saying 'bye good luck'

and i just got another back

'bottle of perfume as wel? armani'

omg lmfao... oh i should have jumped at the chance huh?

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

liesa
xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 04 December 2009, 12:39:39 am
Lol, the perfume didn't tempt you?

I've finally got stroppy with my Gardener client, since Feb he calls or texts me nearly every week for a chat and promises to make an appointment soon, he booked me once for half an hour in March and tries to reminice on the pleasure he gave me with his tongue (groan). I seldom answer his calls or ask if he wants to book and if not tell him I'm busy I have to go.

I have had some shit happen today and it is a full moon, so I am more emotional than usual and he called - bad timing!
So I answered and asked him if he was calling to book, he said sorry can't get away right now, I just wanted to see how you are. My reply was to ask how many times he lets people call him and maybe get gardening advice with the promise to book him before he tells them to piss off?
His response was that he thought there was more to 'our friendship' and he though I enjoyed our little chats.
You can imagine my reply, well notch it up another level, then you've got it.

Thing is I have never encouraged his friendship and all my 'chats' with him have been pretty short and business orientated from my side.

MEN!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fallingstar on 04 December 2009, 09:05:19 am
I would have said you deserve a medal for putting up with his idiocy since March,you must have a saints patience Cassie,i would have snapped after the first fortnight ;D

If he wants to make it up to you he could always come round and landscape your garden for free.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 05 December 2009, 12:12:13 am
hehe, Colette, I can be patient sometimes, but I think this is more a case of being lazy, he only caused me mild, occasional irritation, so it was less hassle to just ignore him or tell him I'm busy than to bring up the energy to get shirty with him. This must be the first time he called when I was in Werewolf mode.

Oh and I don't have a garden or I would have had him working for my attention. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonEvie on 08 December 2009, 01:14:02 am

Wow, Look at me and my goddess powers pulling them all out of the woodwork :)  I was trying to spot all the red flags and really it is just 700 words of it. How many did you see?  (I've highlighted a few, I'm actually trying to get past paragraph 1 and still haven't)

 **
I saw your ad on [redacted] and really am interested in learning more
about you. Just to give you a little info about myself, I am an [idiot]
currently living in [sillyville] that accepted a new sales position at my company
and will be living in the UK for 10 months with potential for a permanent
position there. I'm really excited! I will be coming in a few weeks so I
would love to have a provider who shares the same fantasies as me.
I adore women and want to find the right fantasy provider
that I can see on a regular basis. Your pics and your profile caught
my eye. Your services listed swallowing and I think that it is so sexy to see a
woman enjoying it!  I love your pics too, very hot!!

I am looking for a dependable provider who I click with and both enjoy
each others company. I am 31, Caucasian, 230. I am expecting a pretty
stressful job so I want to find the right woman that can fulfill my
fantasy whenever we meet. I want to be forward about my desires so if
detailed specifics offend you, please disregard this email as I do understand
that every woman has their own preferences. I certainly do not want
to come off as offensive toward you but also want to be respectful of
both of our time. Your pics really got my mind racing and I want a
friend that is into the same things that I am into so we can enjoy each
other every time we get together.

My intention is to find a steady that really enjoys giving extra kinky oral.
I am specifically searching for a friend that loves tasting me and insists
enthusiastically on swallowing everything, every time regardless of where
(fingers, face, stomach, cock) so I can get a sexy visual everytime I cum.
It's so hot to see and feel and I get a rush of sensations
from a goddess doing this for me.. I'd love to be able to find
someone that is open to facials and licking everything clean using her
fingers giving me that super hot visual rush. I really need to find a
special woman that likes to be fed as many times as she can, can be
creative for me visually (cumplay before swallowing), and can be
typically available with 24 hour notice on future meets. I also would
love to find a girl that encourages me with dirty talk and I absolutely
love to see those stockings on you if we meet.

I do want it to be the experience to be enjoyable for both of us so
please understand that I want to find the right girl with the same
preferences. I love that your profile stated that you enjoy swallowing.
I would like to know specifically if you would be open to giving a porno
style/cum play finish and showing me your swallow. I know it's specific
but I've often fantasized about finding a goddess that craves my cum.
My flight is scheduled for January 3 (morning). Hopefully
we can start meeting as often as we can if you thing you would enjoy
eating my cum.

I'm so excited about the UK and my job!! I'll send you some info/pics
as well if you will be my cumeating specialist.

I hope to hear from you,
[PINOCCHIO]


Evie's note:  ummm.... Noooooooo!!!!!  :'( I actually read it now, and it is just... gross! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 08 December 2009, 07:13:24 am
Oh my god! Bleeuuurrrghhh. :-X For some reason, I imagine him jizzing several times while writing that and then licking it up himself, dreaming of you. Lol! Yuck!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 08 December 2009, 09:16:47 am
Oh dear god! Well, it was the paragraph 1-2, he wants a service provider, paragraph 3, you have been upgraded to friend, paragraph 4, he is hinting at 'finding a girl'. If this idiot had kept on, you could well be on your way to being asked to become the next Mrs. Idiot. There really should be law against this kind of idiocy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fallingstar on 08 December 2009, 10:10:19 am
Quote from: Violette on 08 December 2009, 09:16:47 am
Oh dear god! Well, it was the paragraph 1-2, he wants a service provider, paragraph 3, you have been upgraded to friend, paragraph 4, he is hinting at 'finding a girl'. If this idiot had kept on, you could well be on your way to being asked to become the next Mrs. Idiot. There really should be law against this kind of idiocy.

 ;DMaybye if he had continued in the same vein by paragraph 8 they would have been divorced and she would have taken half his money
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonEvie on 08 December 2009, 12:02:31 pm
Quote from: Colette on 08 December 2009, 10:10:19 am

 ;DMaybye if he had continued in the same vein by paragraph 8 they would have been divorced and she would have taken half his money

 There must be an easier way to get my hands on a tenner!!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 08 December 2009, 02:32:25 pm
Quote from: Evie on 08 December 2009, 01:14:02 am
Your services listed swallowing
Do they? Where?

Quote from: Evie on 08 December 2009, 01:14:02 am
I want to be forward about my desires so if
detailed specifics offend you, please disregard this email as I do understand
that every woman has their own preferences. I certainly do not want
to come off as offensive toward you but also want to be respectful of
both of our time.
blah, blah, blah ... yawn

Quote from: Evie on 08 December 2009, 01:14:02 am
enjoys giving extra kinky oral.
WTF?

Quote from: Evie on 08 December 2009, 01:14:02 am
I'm so excited about the UK and my job!!
Awww, bless

Quote from: Evie on 08 December 2009, 01:14:02 am
if you will be my cumeating specialist.
:-X :-X :-X

Funny how we focus on different things and your flagged bits are of course valid. Don't know what you replied, but I would have just said,: Hey Buster, where does it say I swallow?

At least you get the eloquent TWs, I just seem to get the morons, still when you boil it down they are all as inane as each other.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 08 December 2009, 08:05:46 pm
Here is a thought, now with cloning technology coming ,  can't we just order up some perfect clients? I had a client today ask me if I had a nice foufou? What was he expecting me to say to that question?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 08 December 2009, 08:18:50 pm
Something about bashing field mice, I think.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 09 December 2009, 01:15:47 am
Quote from: Anika Mae on 08 December 2009, 08:18:50 pm
Something about bashing field mice, I think.
Ah, those 'singing kettle' days.

How did that song go?

Little bunny foufou hopping though the forest, ?picking up? the field mice and bashing 'em on the head ...

Can't remember anymore?

Hey Vi, maybe he wants you to bash him on the head?  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 09 December 2009, 01:28:05 am
Quote from: cassie on 08 December 2009, 02:32:25 pm
At least you get the eloquent TWs, I just seem to get the morons, still when you boil it down they are all as inane as each other.
I am nearly choking with laughter - my tummy hurts so bad now. I take it back, I got this tonight - sound familiar?

Hi Cassie,

I saw your ad on "xyz" and really am interested in learning more
about you. Just to give you a little info about myself, I am an American
currently living in "xyz" that accepted a new sales position at my company
and will be living in Manchester for 10 months with potential for a permanent
position there. I'm really excited! I will be coming in a few weeks so I
would love to have a provider who shares the same fantasies as me.
I adore women and want to find the right fantasy provider
that I can see on a regular basis. Your pics and your profile caught
my eye. Your services listed swallowing and I think that it is so sexy to see a
woman enjoying it!  I love your pics too, very hot!! 

I am looking for a dependable provider who I click with and both enjoy
each others company. I am 31, Caucasian, 230. I am expecting a pretty
stressful job so I want to find the right woman that can fulfill my
fantasy whenever we meet. I want to be forward about my desires so if
detailed specifics offend you, please disregard this email as I do understand
that every woman has their own preferences. I certainly do not want
to come off as offensive toward you but also want to be respectful of
both of our time. Your pics really got my mind racing and I want a
friend that is into the same things that I am into so we can enjoy each
other every time we get together.

My intention is to find a steady that really enjoys giving extra kinky oral.
I am specifically searching for a friend that loves tasting me and insists
enthusiastically on swallowing everything, every time regardless of where
(fingers, face, stomach, cock) so I can get a sexy visual everytime I cum.
It's so hot to see and feel and I get a rush of sensations
from a goddess doing this for me.. I'd love to be able to find
someone that is open to facials and licking everything clean using her
fingers giving me that super hot visual rush. I really need to find a
special woman that likes to be fed as many times as she can, can be
creative for me visually (cumplay before swallowing), and can be
typically available with 24 hour notice on future meets. I also would
love to find a girl that encourages me with dirty talk and I absolutely
would love to see those black stockings on you if we meet.

I do want it to be the experience to be enjoyable for both of us so
please understand that I want to find the right girl with the same
preferences. I love that your profile stated that you enjoy swallowing.
I would like to know specifically if you would be open to giving a porno
style/cum play finish and showing me your swallow. I know it's specific
but I've often fantasized about finding a goddess that craves my cum.
My flight is scheduled for January 3 (morning). Hopefully
we can start meeting as often as we can if you thing you would enjoy
eating my cum.

I'm so excited about the UK and my job!! I'll send you some info/pics
as well if you will be my cumeating specialist.

I hope to hear from you,
"stupid TW"
 
He changed one word just for me, aww!

OK ladies, who's next? ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 09 December 2009, 12:49:26 pm
Oh, you have got to be kidding me?  :o
Someone should post this on AW as an ad under seeking service.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ooohlala on 09 December 2009, 07:34:44 pm

My lord Cassie and Evie, that is foookin hilarious! What a dweeb. He obviously has no idea what so ever that a lot of us actually talk to each other... ???
Did either of you reply?? Something along the lines of I'll eat your cum if you eat my snot would be an idea  :P tee hee

xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissMillie on 10 December 2009, 02:53:02 pm
I had one guy on AW contact me to ask if he could give me ?30 for a half hour BJ in an open park... ?30 is not my half hourly rate.... and open park?...

Then went on to say he'd meet me in his car and drive me there...

I think NOT
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonEvie on 10 December 2009, 03:05:50 pm
Quote from: Ooohlala on 09 December 2009, 07:34:44 pm

My lord Cassie and Evie, that is foookin hilarious! What a dweeb. He obviously has no idea what so ever that a lot of us actually talk to each other... ???
Did either of you reply?? Something along the lines of I'll eat your cum if you eat my snot would be an idea  :P tee hee

xxx

 No I didn't- Though I have had another funny one: He wrote me once a day for two days, and each time changed his story completely- And has written the same to a friend of mine too! Clearly not thinking we actually share this info xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ooohlala on 10 December 2009, 03:19:17 pm
they obviously think we're just dumb bimbos, too thick to cotton on!  >:(

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 10 December 2009, 10:18:26 pm
Quote from: Evie on 10 December 2009, 03:05:50 pm
Quote from: Ooohlala on 09 December 2009, 07:34:44 pm

My lord Cassie and Evie, that is foookin hilarious! What a dweeb. He obviously has no idea what so ever that a lot of us actually talk to each other... ???
Did either of you reply?? Something along the lines of I'll eat your cum if you eat my snot would be an idea  :P tee hee

xxx

 No I didn't- Though I have had another funny one: He wrote me once a day for two days, and each time changed his story completely- And has written the same to a friend of mine too! Clearly not thinking we actually share this info xx
No I haven't either, not really worth it, though I might still think something up if I get really bored.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonEvie on 12 December 2009, 09:28:42 pm
Quote from: cassie on 10 December 2009, 10:18:26 pm
No I haven't either, not really worth it, though I might still think something up if I get really bored.

He's texted me since- Asking if I got his email- haha :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 13 December 2009, 10:45:59 pm
Quote from: Evie on 12 December 2009, 09:28:42 pm
Quote from: cassie on 10 December 2009, 10:18:26 pm
No I haven't either, not really worth it, though I might still think something up if I get really bored.

He's texted me since- Asking if I got his email- haha :)

LOL, he's all yours hon.  :-*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: laura81 on 14 December 2009, 11:13:31 am
Quote from: Evie on 08 December 2009, 12:02:31 pm

 There must be an easier way to get my hands on a tenner!!  ;D


ROFL That one line had me giggling for over an hour! Hilarious!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 11 January 2010, 09:21:32 pm
Someone sent me an email Sunday at 7 am in the morning. Although a bit suspicious, it did contain a callback number. So I emailed them back around 1 that afternoon.

This morning around 6 I get an email from the same person saying, "sorry, I would've liked to hooked up but Im back in (city)." let me know if you're ever up this way.

Mind you...I just moved from (city). How funny of them to trace me 4 hours away, and pretend they wanted to book me. So I emailed back, "No apologies necessary, although I found your request to be rather last minute. Next time I'm there I'll mail you an hour before I leave and hope it reaches you before I leave."

The last thing someone wants to do with me right now is jerk me around. I will tell someone off in an instant no matter if its online  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 13 January 2010, 12:47:55 am
Just an excerpt from an email I got recently:

... and then rousing your clit till erect,before introducing her to Percy.

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 13 January 2010, 08:50:12 am
I have to say I love my Black Berry, why you ask, because it keeps an activity log. If some idiot texted me in Nov, and then texts me again in Jan, I can see the whole past conversation. Well some jackass who pestered me in Nov, had the nerve to attempt this again in Jan when I was back on tour. Oh and did he get it.
He had texted me, asking for info, and then started in with the sexting foolishness. I told him to F-off in Nov. Fool, didn't realize I kept the past messages, and started in with the same silliness again in Jan. I text him asking, "What part of f-off the last time was unclear?" Funnily enough I haven't been bothered by him anymore.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 13 January 2010, 09:38:14 am
Quote from: cassie on 13 January 2010, 12:47:55 am
Just an excerpt from an email I got recently:

... and then rousing your clit till erect,before introducing her to Percy.

 ;D ;D ;D

Ha! ;D I can only imagine how delightful the rest of the email was. Rousing, even!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 13 January 2010, 11:30:57 pm
Quote from: Violette on 13 January 2010, 08:50:12 am
Well some jackass who pestered me in Nov, had the nerve to attempt this again in Jan

There has been times where I've allowed dicks to fuck me over after their 1st time out of sheer grace and '2 strikes rule'. Well not anymore. This past weekend was a prime example of. One guy was always hitting me up, but never could make an appointment cause he didnt have the money. Well Saturday he booked, then flaked. I told him, Obviously you don't take yourself seriously and neither can I. Boy did he get mad, and I just laughed.

Another prick tried the same thing, whereby he texts me, "do I pay by cash, check or credit card LOL". I thought that was suspicious (and flippant) but I let it slide. Next thing I know mother FUCKER stood me up on 2 bookings, but luckily I was just sitting at home. Regardless, his ass his toast.

Being in a new town means that the timewasters 'want to get me' but rest assured, they wont get far. One guy got reported to his phone company for harrassing me with text messages, I'm not afraid to do it again. And Im not afraid to break a window again either if I have to (kidding!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucymay on 25 January 2010, 09:09:49 am
"bbe u shaggin 2nyt. And cn u cmc c me"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 25 January 2010, 09:26:16 pm
"in that case i will be interested in 1 hr to start with, since you are not willing to negotiate"

Um... why should I? Lol. *deletes*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BurlesqueHoney on 25 January 2010, 11:05:29 pm
Quote from: Alexa on 25 January 2010, 09:26:16 pm
"in that case i will be interested in 1 hr to start with, since you are not willing to negotiate"

Um... why should I? Lol. *deletes*

Priceless!   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 25 January 2010, 11:18:01 pm
Potential cilent- "What will you do for ?20?"
Me- Click.

Well he did ask... ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 26 January 2010, 03:24:17 am
Quote from: cindy on 25 January 2010, 11:18:01 pm
Potential cilent- "What will you do for ?20?"

I told one guy $20 will give him about 7 minutes...He never responded  :(   It'd probably take him 5 minutes to get my foot out of his ass  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ScottishBBW on 26 January 2010, 02:20:13 pm
I recieved 3 consecutive phone calls at 4.30am on Sunday morning, followed by a picture message of a rather obese gentlemans chest and stomach area simply saying "call me".

No thanks, I think I'll pass on that one cheers....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 03 February 2010, 12:37:19 am
Quote from: Joey Ara on 29 October 2009, 01:15:19 am
Colette, I think your mission has been completed in this thread LOL...What an oasis you have created here. At what point are we going to narrow it all down and see who's had the most outrageous timewaster?

Quote from: Violette on 28 October 2009, 11:36:52 am
On guy was txting me away, and when I told him, he needs to call for info, he texts back and says he is driving and can't talk. I forwarded his message back to him, and texted: "If I sent you this message, would you believe me?" I didn't hear from him anymore.

At first I didnt understand the scene, but then I read it again...how stupid! He's driving while texting and initiated the texts...Wouldnt talking be safer than sex? Boingo....

Quote from: Violette on 28 October 2009, 05:51:45 pm
Windows 7, not if my life depended on it.

 >:( Leave us alone, Im still working with Vista :D

Vista?? I'm still on XP.... *boggles*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 03 February 2010, 12:49:25 am
Thank you ladies & gents! I enjoyed reading this thread  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: anonymoussw on 03 February 2010, 05:53:38 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 03 February 2010, 12:49:25 am
Thank you ladies & gents! I enjoyed reading this thread  ;D

I get excited every time there is a new post on this thread... :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 03 February 2010, 06:07:17 pm
I never get funny timewaster stuff! Or at least, I end up ignoring and forgetting about it too quickly and it's not funny anyway, it's boring standard "can u send me a face pic pls" stuff. Sigh! :P

Today though I got a creepy mutterer calling and asking me over and over again if I live alone, so I told him I live in a police station and then he asked if he could book an incall. ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 04 February 2010, 01:16:17 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 03 February 2010, 06:07:17 pm
I told him I live in a police station and then he asked if he could book an incall. ???

OMG that nearly killed me! :D

A few days ago I explained to one guy about overnight bookings - price, time I start work (8pm), duration (8-12hours), etc. Then yesterday, got an email asking for a 16 (!) hour overnight (5pm-11am) for less than half my rate! Sometimes I wonder if I'm on the same planet...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xxxtinyxxx on 05 February 2010, 08:51:22 pm
Hello Everyone,

I had a lovely phonecall today from a pleasant sounding chap asking details, prices etc. After sounding like a genuine chap he went on to ask about the services i do,
Do i do anal?  'No'
Oral without? 'No'
Anything without? 'No'
How about unprotected sex? I reply 'How about you go down the road to the red light area and find someone who does, im sure there will be someone willing to give you a range of STDs for half the price of my protected service'

What an absolutely lovely chap, bloody idiot. Why is it always me who answers the phone to these stupid people?

Mak.
xxxxxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 06 February 2010, 04:40:11 pm
Guy calls up with number not showing, I answer and ask him if he knows that he is calling with a blocked number, he replies, and says yes, he knows this that he is calling from his wife's phone!  :o What an absolute idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 06 February 2010, 08:05:04 pm
Its amazing how people actually play games to try to make you feel like you're charging too much. 

Someone called me the other day, (oops, texted me) in the morning saying, all I have is 120. My rate is 60 more than that. So I say..."well I can do 120 but you'd have to come to me and it'd be for half an hour".

Then, he says he doesn't have transportation. So I repeat, its 180 for outcall. He then switches it up and says, "sorry, I only have 140'. I didn't even respond back as I was just waking up!

I seriously don't think he had 120 or 140, stupid ass fucker  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 07 February 2010, 07:54:08 pm
I tell you...I hate to sound racist,, and living in Texas is damn near tipping me over the edge...but Mexican 'so called clients' have got to be the most ignorant and time-wasting clients on the face of the planet! I thought Black folks were the worse, not even close!

Some guy got cursed the fuck out this morning (in my grumpy mood after I was already having depression last night). He calls, ask me a couple questions about my massage, and then at the end goes, "you're not a psycho are you?" I hung up immediately.

He then calls back, and I cursed his ass up and down...then he says, "ok, ok, what time can you be available?" I then told him that I didnt want to meet his ass anymore cause he pissed me off and I hung up.

See what I mean? I cant get a real booking, its gotta be some STUPID FUCK, I HATE THIS PLAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jewel on 08 February 2010, 01:01:15 am
Quote from: Joey Ara on 07 February 2010, 07:54:08 pm
I tell you...I hate to sound racist,, and living in Texas is damn near tipping me over the edge...but Mexican 'so called clients' have got to be the most ignorant and time-wasting clients on the face of the planet! I thought Black folks were the worse, not even close!

Some guy got cursed the fuck out this morning (in my grumpy mood after I was already having depression last night). He calls, ask me a couple questions about my massage, and then at the end goes, "you're not a psycho are you?" I hung up immediately.

He then calls back, and I cursed his ass up and down...then he says, "ok, ok, what time can you be available?" I then told him that I didnt want to meet his ass anymore cause he pissed me off and I hung up.

See what I mean? I cant get a real booking, its gotta be some STUPID FUCK, I HATE THIS PLAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

Joey,

You probably haven't been in the business for long enough yet, thus haven't come to realise that men are inherently stupid, and most of the times not even on purpose. The guy you're talking about was probably a newbie and just didn't know what sort of questions to ask and how to politely make sure you're safe and discreet.
I've had plenty of experience of this sort when I worked in a small working class town.

A guy on the phone: - When can you come, I'm home all day today.
Me: Sorry, I don't go anywhere, you'd have to come and visit me.
The guy (sounding really surprised): You have your own place??? (this question was a common one)
Me (being pissed off as it was 10th idiot that day): No, I do it under the bridge.
The guy (after a pause, but in a decisive tone): What side of the bridge shall I meet you, then?

Another one. A bloke calls and asks a few questions. Everything seems normal. Then he goes: "Can I bring 4 of my mates to watch?" Me (in disbelief and utter disgust): Sorry, you are probably confusing me for your wife.
Him (totally genuine): Oh no, I'm not married!
Me (to myself, hanging up): I think I know why.

And one more. My flat was in a building where the staircase was separated from the landing by a door. Only 6 flats in the whole building and only 2 floors. You would not believe the amount of people (I probably wouldn't be wrong if I said every third guy) who, once buzzed inside, would go into the staircase (there was nowhere else to go once you're inside) and call me, asking where to look for the flat. Me: Go to the first floor and open THE ONLY DOOR you can see there (that would take you to a landing with 3 flats where I'm waiting by the door). Them: What colour is the door? (How does it matter??? There's only one door there!!) or Do I push it or pull it? ::)
And guess what? some of them still couldn't find it and I had to go out of my flat, undressed as I was, and open the door to the staircase and they would be just there behind the door, actively looking for it. And the ones who did make it inside the flat without my help, would always look like they'd just achieved something and say: Wow, it's not an easy job to find you!

Anyway, the point I'm making is that half of these people who seem to take the piss, are actually genuine, just stupid. And you would not believe the amount of myths and misconceptions that some people in small communities/ for want of education still hold in regard, especially since what you do is not as traditional as female escorting. So try to be patient. It's hard, but you won't make much if you keep hanging up on them. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 08 February 2010, 08:01:09 am
That has got to be the funniest post I have read in a long time. Jewel, what you say is so true, men are stupid, the poor loves can't help themselves. I too in the beginning use to get so frustrated. Until I realized it is best to treat all men like 2 year olds, until proven older. I don't exactly talk to them in a sing-songy voice, but it is close.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ella T on 08 February 2010, 09:42:38 am

Sometimes the daftest conversations and questions from people can turn into genuine bookings. Some gents have even turned out to be so called 'high powered businessmen' with blue chip companies, and you think what? but you could barely string any coherent words together on the phone!

"you're not a psycho are you?"  - that's an absolute bloody corker though!

I also chuckled about getting them into your flat Jewel, because I am in a similar situation on the 2nd floor. Sometimes I have to stifle my amusement as they huff and puff when they get to my door - anyone would think that they've just followed Sherpa Tensing on a tricky ascent up Mount Everest. 

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: anonymoussw on 08 February 2010, 10:05:18 am
Quote from: Ella T on 08 February 2010, 09:42:38 am
"you're not a psycho are you?"  - that's an absolute bloody corker though!

Should have said

"Yes. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Then hung up
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonEvie on 09 February 2010, 05:05:26 pm


I got one:


 "I was wondering if you offered swirling as a service? (when a guy has sex with a girl while her head is in a clean toilet).
Regards"


 Are you fucking kidding me!!  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 09 February 2010, 06:27:45 pm
I had one some years back. Basically wanted me to nurse him whilst he was ill - idea was he'd get hold of a drug with emetic properties (ie will make you throw up) take it and I would have to help him to the bathroom, mop his brow etc.

No thank you.

Another request has been for Ass Smoothies. Had to look that one up and it isn't a milkshake.

Thirdly the good old "Do you do sex?" line. Yes it's an obvious question but not one to attract a WG to trust you. And the 3rd one - book a week in advance, confirm first thing on the day, get her to wear something by request, try the odd text detailing what you want to do to her during the appointment, confirm you have set off, ring to say you are held up but not far away at the end of a 1 hour drive, then disappear completely without trace. Amazing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 09 February 2010, 06:40:10 pm
Quote from: strawberry on 09 February 2010, 06:27:45 pm
And the 3rd one - book a week in advance, confirm first thing on the day, get her to wear something by request, try the odd text detailing what you want to do to her during the appointment, confirm you have set off, ring to say you are held up but not far away at the end of a 1 hour drive, then disappear completely without trace. Amazing.

That guy must have zoomed across the country cos I swear I heard from him today, too! But I cancelled on him after his sexting efforts. Was too worn out by the beautiful young fella who'd slipped in for a quickie. Ha! In your face, numpty timewasters! :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 10 February 2010, 10:28:30 am
Quote from: Evie on 09 February 2010, 05:05:26 pm


I got one:


 "I was wondering if you offered swirling as a service? (when a guy has sex with a girl while her head is in a clean toilet).
Regards"


 Are you fucking kidding me!!  :o

Thanks for the laugh. The image has me in hysterics on a train bound for Dublin, the passengers are looking at me funny. :D

Mine for the week, was some idiot who called blocked number, and when told to call back with number showing, says he is calling from his wife's phone.  I hung up!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xxxtinyxxx on 11 February 2010, 10:37:20 pm
Here's my list of crazy txt messages for the last 2 days:

1. Hi, i have seen your ad in paper, How much for a massage? Any availability this eve? Thanks,  P.S. I'm not an overweight lorry driver - am 34yrs and fairly fit.

2. Hi, i drive a small coach in your area, would i be able to have you on my coach or will i have to come to you?

3. Hi, i rang earlier, i am happy to come over. I don't know how to make this sound nice but is the girl a smackhead?

4. Would u do 6 in the morning?

5. Price?

6. Hi, i seen your ad in the paper, i didn't realise their would be so many ads, could you send me a pic so i can narrow it down to who i do and don't want to see? Thanks.

OMG!!!! What is wrong with people?  ::)


Hilarious!

Love N' Hugz.

Mak.
xxxxxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 12 February 2010, 12:21:52 am
I got a text last night at 4am saying:

"How about if we picked you up in an audi and gave you enough vod to keep you going. Just a couple of bored lads at my mums empty house!"

and the day before I got:

"hi babe how r u? im a nice guy willing to pay ?120 for all nite sex including bj and u in school uniform. let me know wen ur free n we can sort somethin out"

Urgh!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 12 February 2010, 12:28:59 am
Quote from: Alessia on 12 February 2010, 12:21:52 am
I got a text last night at 4am saying:

"How about if we picked you up in an audi and gave you enough vod to keep you going. Just a couple of bored lads at my mums empty house!"

and the day before I got:

"hi babe how r u? im a nice guy willing to pay ?120 for all nite sex including bj and u in school uniform. let me know wen ur free n we can sort somethin out"

Urgh!


I'm guessing you're on Adultwork, aren't you?  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 12 February 2010, 12:41:00 am
Quote from: amy on 12 February 2010, 12:28:59 am
Quote from: Alessia on 12 February 2010, 12:21:52 am
I got a text last night at 4am saying:

"How about if we picked you up in an audi and gave you enough vod to keep you going. Just a couple of bored lads at my mums empty house!"

and the day before I got:

"hi babe how r u? im a nice guy willing to pay ?120 for all nite sex including bj and u in school uniform. let me know wen ur free n we can sort somethin out"

Urgh!


I'm guessing you're on Adultwork, aren't you?  ;D

Yep, I'm loving the free late night entertainment!  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 12 February 2010, 01:51:53 am
I guess it makes a change from "Do you like big black cocks?" routine.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 12 February 2010, 08:28:27 am
Quote from: cindy on 12 February 2010, 01:51:53 am
I guess it makes a change from "Do you like big black cocks?" routine.


Funny that you say. The other day I recieved an email from someone saying he wants to see me so I can satisfy his craving a big black cock as he's been working on a cruise for awhile.... ::)

I dont know whether to feel complimented or insulted  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jewel on 12 February 2010, 01:40:46 pm
Received this text last night (I like it when they are laconic):

"F@ck me"

Guess what reply the poor bugger got? Yes, you can't go wrong here - "F@ck you!"

Well, he asked, it would be rude to turn him down.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonEvie on 12 February 2010, 03:44:19 pm
Quote from: Jewel on 12 February 2010, 01:40:46 pm
Received this text last night (I like it when they are laconic):



Well, he asked, it would be rude to turn him down.

I admire your courteousness there :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xxxtinyxxx on 12 February 2010, 11:11:58 pm
Well amongst time wasters today, i have had 4 text messages all from the same person:

1. Where can i meet you?

2. Can i please have details?

3. No reply.

4. How do i get you attention?

My answer F*CKIN TRY CALLING ME.

As my advert states NO TEXT MESSAGES in bloody CAPITAL LETTERS cant people read? Does make you wonder?  >:(

Love N' Hugz.

Mak.
xxxxxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jewel on 13 February 2010, 04:57:09 pm
Tiny,

Is it Daily Sport you're on? No, they don't (can't/ aren't bothered to) read. They see the number, scratch their crotch and call. I use Daily Sport when I travel and these are the times when you don't know whether to laugh or kill.

My ad is usually just a name (Ann/ Mary/ Cate) and number. Most people would assume that there'll be Ann/ Mary/ Cate only there, as compared to ads that say Duo/ Trio/ Dirty Teens/ Chester Street Sauna. Yet, the following is a script of what you get 30 times a day.

Him: Hello. How many girls do you have there?
Me (already vexed): How many does the ad promise?
Him: Dunno, doesn't say there, there's only this number.
Me: Yes, there is something else there. Open the newspaper.
Pages rustling.
Him (surprised): Yeah! It says Cate here! Wow, haven't noticed that before! So, Cate, how many girls do you have there?

Not only don't they read, they don't listen either. The ones that do seem to notice the name, ask for details.
Me: I'm [a leggy busty blonde] and I'm based in [Dreamgirl City]. (It's annoying how you can't capitalise I to stress it!)
Him: Is the girl Polish?
Me: What girl???
Him: The one you're talking about. Or do you have other girls there?

At some point you just give up and hang up. In this thread, someone (can't remember who, sorry) has mentioned downing a bottle of vodka to arrange as many girls as desired. May be they should give one free with every copy of the Sport?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 13 February 2010, 07:20:28 pm
I don't know the logistics of putting an ad in the paper as a (touring?) escort, but could you fit in INDEPENDANT ESCORT at all? Would it make any difference? (Of course, you should also be putting HI KLASS in there, too, in order to attract only the most preferable Daily Sport-reading clientele. ;D) But, back to the slightly-more-serious-question, do you think the readers would get the whole 'she's independent and therefore not working out of the bathroom of a 2-bed flat stuffed with girls' or whatever they seem to think is going on? Or do all the ads say something similar without necessarily meaning it?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xxxtinyxxx on 13 February 2010, 09:29:21 pm
Hello,

I used to advertise in the Daily Sport a long time ago but gave up for a little while so stopped. I advertise in the yellow paper now as i don't have much luck with the DS, i now have a box advert so can fit more it eg: No Withheld Numbers/Text Messages. I have worked in this industry for many years now and have never had as many timewasters as i have had over the last year. I just think its so amusing, i had a call today asking how much i was, i wasn't sure if he meant me as a person forever or just an appointment, well my answer of course was absolutely priceless!!!!

Love N' Hugz.

Mak.
xxxxxx


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jewel on 13 February 2010, 09:40:48 pm
Emily,

Have you never used Daily Sport? Gosh, you've missed a lot of fun! But seriously, if I started telling you about the intricacies of advertising with them, that would take a new thread and then all others could contribute - I'm sure there's plenty to say. But my point was that, as Tiny wondered, people don't really pay attention to what you say in the ad, capital letters or not, and I picked up these examples as it seems like most men have this fantasy of a flat packed with girls just waiting for them to come. And, of course, as it's been pointed out before in this thread, they can't help themselves if they are not very bright. These ones are the most grateful though, pleasure to work with.

But then, of course, it depends on where you are - in bigger places men seem to have more experience with reading ads. In small towns, where the only thing they ever had was a parlour that closed 3 years ago, of course this is what they'll think you are.

And Tiny (love your nick)

Yeah, I've had this question quite a few times, and I noticed it's used in the north, never heard it in the south. At first, I thought they were just rude, but then I realised that's their way of asking how much you charge (although I still consider it very rude).

As for timewasters, I think we all noticed it in the past year, it probably has something to do with this recession everyones seems to be talking about. They can't afford to come anymore, but can still afford to call. Sorry, I know this post is not relevant to this thread.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 14 February 2010, 02:07:44 am
Quote from: Alessia on 12 February 2010, 12:21:52 am
"hi babe how r u? im a nice guy willing to pay ?120 for all nite sex including bj and u in school uniform. let me know wen ur free n we can sort somethin out"

Amazing how some idiots think they can just up and name a fucking price without consulting us  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 14 February 2010, 05:32:37 am
My latest nominations for the Darwin Awards this year:

Idiot 1."hey wassup, got you on escort, we havin a kinda of stag nite, n lookin 4 stripper n fun girl let us nknow if interested"
Idiot 2."Hijust talked to you a moment ago.dont suppose u need domestic duties attended to?as im not in good financial positionm 32.niceeasy goin guy"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jewel on 14 February 2010, 11:32:18 am
Quote from: Violette on 14 February 2010, 05:32:37 am

Idiot 2."Hijust talked to you a moment ago.dont suppose u need domestic duties attended to?as im not in good financial positionm 32.niceeasy goin guy"


Violette,

Aren't you lucky! I never thought of it this way! We can have our houses cleaned, our gardens pruned, our cars serviced, our food cooked, and all for free! Remind me again, why do we have to pay rent and bills? Can't this be arranged, too?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 14 February 2010, 03:24:24 pm
Yes im all for that idea. It would only take a couple of hours to pay my rather alarming electricty bill!
Had a nice text from a man recently offering me his service as a butcher for some unfathomable reason by way of payment. I declined!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 14 February 2010, 06:49:07 pm
Quote from: Jewel on 14 February 2010, 11:32:18 am
Quote from: Violette on 14 February 2010, 05:32:37 am

Idiot 2."Hijust talked to you a moment ago.dont suppose u need domestic duties attended to?as im not in good financial positionm 32.niceeasy goin guy"


Violette,

Aren't you lucky! I never thought of it this way! We can have our houses cleaned, our gardens pruned, our cars serviced, our food cooked, and all for free! Remind me again, why do we have to pay rent and bills? Can't this be arranged, too?

Yes indeed, I replied saying to the effect, I am an escort and the only arrangement I am interested in is a financial one, he didn't dare to text back. Bless.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 15 February 2010, 12:32:35 am
Can you believe some fag asked me to go meet him at the bookstore? For a split second I was about to say yes, as meeting at a public place on a date is perfectly fine, but not on business! And its not ok to meet your date at their place on the 1st date..they are completely different things.

So I said no...twice. I said he could come to me if he didnt feel comfortable. Then, he said he'd go home and call me when he got there. Hadn't heard from him and its an hour and a half late.

I told him, "ok..any fucking body can say come meet them at the bookstore and I show up there looking like an ass. C'mon, who do I look like?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 15 February 2010, 07:05:16 pm
Ten minutes ago:

Bloke who can't read: am sorry to txt u like this but really need some company

Me: go to the pub then

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jewel on 15 February 2010, 08:41:08 pm
Amy,

He probably WAS in the pub when texting you. The more they drink, the more company they want.

I love this thread! It never fails to make you feel better!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 16 February 2010, 01:56:19 am
One thing that irritates me is people who call me, during the daytime on a weekday when my minutes aren't free...calling me asking questions that are right in front of their face, and then say some stupid shit like, "Ok, I'll call you back".

Today, I had to tell a guy off. He tried that line with me after asking several questions which I answered, "its on my ad"...kept pausing, so finally I said, "look mother fucker...youre using up my god damn daytime minutes with this nonsense. You don't sound sure about what you want, or what time you want to meet, so don't call me back until you are sure!"

The other day, some guy did the same thing while I was dining at a Greek resturaunt...I ended up having a fit in front of my friend while at lunch and had to apologize for venting in the resturaunt  :P

I'm telling you, its those idiots from craigslist. Those are the ones giving me the most issues, closeted, ignorant faggots. Perhaps I should just forward all calls from craigslist to voicemail  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: anonymoussw on 16 February 2010, 05:20:13 am
Quote from: American J on 16 February 2010, 01:56:19 am
"look mother fucker...youre using up my god damn daytime minutes with this nonsense. You don't sound sure about what you want, or what time you want to meet, so don't call me back until you are sure!"

Do you pay to receive calls over there?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 16 February 2010, 05:44:36 am
Quote from: bennyboywonder on 16 February 2010, 05:20:13 am
Do you pay to receive calls over there?

technically...yes. Its deducted from my balance. Plus my craigslist ad number is a prepaid phone, which runs a pretty penny over time. Eventually, I just want to use 2 numbers, 1 phone with a better billing plan
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 16 February 2010, 11:15:54 am
Quote from: bennyboywonder on 16 February 2010, 05:20:13 am
Do you pay to receive calls over there?

Yes they do, not just technically. Instead of the caller being charged extra for calling a mobile phone, they pay whatever they would for calling a landline and the mobile user is charged per minute at the same rate they would be for making a call. IIRC though, it's nothing like the mobile rates we have here; just a few cents a minute.

It makes sense in general, but must make timewasters a lot more annoying.

Joey, in UK we have a caller pays system like in Mexico. Mobile numbers have their own area code and the person who's calling is charged double or more what it would cost to call a landline, while the person receiving the call is charged nothing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 17 February 2010, 03:14:06 am
Quote from: Anika Mae on 16 February 2010, 11:15:54 am
Joey, in UK we have a caller pays system like in Mexico. Mobile numbers have their own area code and the person who's calling is charged double or more what it would cost to call a landline, while the person receiving the call is charged nothing.

Double or more? Sounds expensive. But I think its more fair than here. I get charged for idiots sending me text messages and calling me during the day, spending 2 and 3 minutes on the phone asking ridiculous things. And unfortunently I cant really curse someone out until about the 3rd minute...when they've asked every question and its clear they are just wasting my time.

When you add it all up, you can see why I get as annoyed as I do when someone calls to intentionally waste my time, as you have stated.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 17 February 2010, 01:41:08 pm
Then again you won't get the idiots who want you to answer question after question by text or claiming they haven't any credit!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 18 February 2010, 12:08:39 am
I received this charming text message on Sunday:

'A special rose Just 4 u. . . @>-%--- Filled wid luv 4 valentines day! xxmwah ALESSIAxx'

then from the same number an hour later:

'Do u provide incals? Also do u do anal?'

How... romantic  ???

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 18 February 2010, 07:57:42 am
Im getting increasingly annoyed with the nonsense...

I keep getting a private caller every morning, and its not a bill collector because they leave messages! And then today, the same idiot who was harrassing me, calls my number today asking for a different person...from another number!

Then today...someone calls asking me, ME...if I have crystal that I can share with him. Fucking doped out ass mother ******! I cant stand it when druggies call me in some ploy to get drugs off of me.

Im a fucking hooker, not a drug dealer  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: anonymoussw on 18 February 2010, 10:58:53 am
Quote from: Alessia on 18 February 2010, 12:08:39 am
I received this charming text message on Sunday:

'A special rose Just 4 u. . . @>-%--- Filled wid luv 4 valentines day! xxmwah ALESSIAxx'

then from the same number an hour later:

'Do u provide incals? Also do u do anal?'

How... romantic  ???

Tehehehe that made me giggle...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Richard on 18 February 2010, 05:55:47 pm
Quote from: Alessia on 18 February 2010, 12:08:39 am
I received this charming text message on Sunday:

'A special rose Just 4 u. . . @>-%--- Filled wid luv 4 valentines day! xxmwah ALESSIAxx'

then from the same number an hour later:

'Do u provide incals? Also do u do anal?'

How... romantic  ???

"They start with Byron and Shelley..."

I have had to do so much mopping up reading these over the weeks!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 19 February 2010, 10:07:37 am
Quote from: Alessia on 18 February 2010, 12:08:39 am
Also do u do anal?'

How... romantic  ???

Anal is a service offered, not a way of courting!

Normally this would have gotten to me, but tonight was different since it was right down the street. Nevertheless, still a bit annoyed

A late night booking that I was already reluctant from the start...but decided to ignore and go anyhow. Im in this guy's neighborhood on the phone and he asks me to drive him to the bank to get the money cause it doesnt have a car. I'm just like...uh, I dont know you and Im not going to let you get into my car to drive to the bank.

At that point, I rolled up to his house, got out the car and said..."For saftey reasons, you're not getting into my car. I thought you had the money on you already  ???

What made it so tolerable is he was some cute younger guy. Either way, what the hell do I look like letting someone into my car at 3 am? I KNEW I should have just let the phone ring...but being an insomniac and all. I need help!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xxxtinyxxx on 19 February 2010, 11:57:36 pm
Hello Everyone,

Well i had an amusing day today, i had 3 walk outs one after the other here they are...

1. Doorbell goes, i check the camera, open the door, man standing there looks at me and runs away!!! WTF...I was wearing a skintight dress, killer heels, make-up on...Maybe the mirror lied and i actually look like a huge ogre!

2. Doorbell goes, i check the camera, open the door, let a smartly dressed man in, he phoned before asked for owo which i don't offer, politely tell him once again, i don't offer the service, he asks again, he must have been hard of hearing...NO!!!!

3. Doorbell goes, i once again check the camera, open the door, let an odd looking old man in (I'm not one to judge but he looked like a murderer). He asks what i do prices etc, i tell him, he then says, I'm very clean how much to lick my feet? I say sorry i don't offer that service, he then says raising the tone a little 'What amount of money do you want to lick my feet' I tell him 'What amount of money will it take to remove my shoe from your arse and for you to lick your sh*t off my shoe? Do i look like a dog? In a very polite manner, i then open the door and ask him to leave. I think he had a very low opinion of women. But hey, each to their own!


Love N' Hugz.

Mak.
xxxxxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 20 February 2010, 02:54:32 am
Quote from: xxxtinyxxx on 19 February 2010, 11:57:36 pm
I was wearing a skintight dress, killer heels, make-up on...Maybe the mirror lied and i actually look like a huge ogre!

Hmmm...sounds sexy to me, I love killer heels. Looks can kill  ;D

Quote
(I'm not one to judge but he looked like a murderer).

I had a guy like that show up last weekend. It was a long, hard booking. He was just scary looking, but turned out to be a pretty nice guy for the most part. I kept thinking I'd have to whip some ass LOL.


Quote
I tell him 'What amount of money will it take to remove my shoe from your arse and for you to lick your sh*t off my shoe? Do i look like a dog? In a very polite manner, i then open the door and ask him to leave. I think he had a very low opinion of women. But hey, each to their own!

LOL, that one had me laughing my ass off...Money is not worth more than dignity. Feet licking occurs only to EXTREMELY attractive, EXTREMELY clean guys that I know EXTREMELY well. To this day, of nearly 10 years...that has not come to fruitition yet  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xxxtinyxxx on 21 February 2010, 09:52:48 pm
Quote from: American J on 20 February 2010, 02:54:32 am
Quote from: xxxtinyxxx on 19 February 2010, 11:57:36 pm
I was wearing a skintight dress, killer heels, make-up on...Maybe the mirror lied and i actually look like a huge ogre!

Hmmm...sounds sexy to me, I love killer heels. Looks can kill  ;D
Quote
Well, i did feel fairly attractive or at least i thought i was up until then lol...I must say my heels that i was wearing are the sexiest stilettos Ive ever seen 6 inch stiletto heels in shocking purple...Maybe the shoes scared him? Lol!  ::)




Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 23 February 2010, 05:12:18 pm
I have to be careful not to wear too high heels. At 6ft in my stocking feet, me with 4 inch heels has been known to scare the shit out of most Irish guys.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyEvil on 24 February 2010, 11:16:57 am
This just in:

"howdi sammy* i waitung u reply becous god has sent ur profil to me and i love u and my repct ur bodi. i want 2 hours booking when i will lick ur ass and french dep kiss. i then u invite to dinner of pizza in the hotel but pls do not charge becaus it is my repct for u. also u will come back with me to my country too met my family in dubai wher they wil lov u as i do and live forever in happi. pls reply i waitng u son honi baby.

your lover xoxxoox'

*my name is simone

 :o :o :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 24 February 2010, 11:40:54 am
Quote from: LadyEvil on 24 February 2010, 11:16:57 am
i will lick ur ass and french dep kiss.

I particularly like the way he orders them :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyEvil on 24 February 2010, 11:56:04 am
I know, right? How could I pass up such a golden opportunity?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 24 February 2010, 11:59:38 am
Quote from: LadyEvil on 24 February 2010, 11:16:57 am
and live forever in happi.

Where is happi? I want to go!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 24 February 2010, 12:04:40 pm
Quote from: Alessia on 24 February 2010, 11:59:38 am
Where is happi? I want to go!

So do I! Sounds better than coldi and crappi.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BurlesqueHoney on 24 February 2010, 12:26:11 pm
Quote from: Alessia on 24 February 2010, 11:59:38 am
Quote from: LadyEvil on 24 February 2010, 11:16:57 am
and live forever in happi.

Where is happi? I want to go!

Me too!  Think there will be a few of us that would love to go - should I organise a coach...? ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: anonymoussw on 24 February 2010, 12:50:23 pm
Quote from: BurlesqueHoney on 24 February 2010, 12:26:11 pm
Me too!  Think there will be a few of us that would love to go - should I organise a coach...? ;D

http://happiinnlasvegas.com/
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Richard on 24 February 2010, 01:51:38 pm
I didn't think it would be in Dubai. Yuck.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 24 February 2010, 02:11:31 pm
Quote from: amy on 24 February 2010, 12:04:40 pm
Quote from: Alessia on 24 February 2010, 11:59:38 am
Where is happi? I want to go!

So do I! Sounds better than coldi and crappi.  ;D

;D ;D ;D

Put me down for 2 coach tickets please! I will bring my catti.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 24 February 2010, 02:14:35 pm
I just love these declarations of love coupled with bad spelling, melts the knickers it does.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 25 February 2010, 08:22:49 am
Quote from: LadyEvil on 24 February 2010, 11:16:57 am
i then u invite to dinner of pizza in the hotel but pls do not charge becaus it is my repct for u. also u will come back with me to my country too met my family in dubai wher they wil lov u as i do and live forever in happi. pls reply i waitng u son honi baby.

I am in tears after reading this. So romantic, so much thought. And Pizza...Yummy.

This reminds me of a recent, particularly annoying son of a...who calls me, telling me he's going to show up in a Benz, and let me borrow his Louis Vuitton...some fag nonetheless. I was like, okay and? What the fuck does that have to do with making an appointment?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 25 February 2010, 08:34:17 am
Quote from: LadyEvil on 24 February 2010, 11:16:57 am
i then u invite to dinner of pizza in the hotel

 :o pizza? I'm there. Lol. I mean, pizza and happi? How can you resist the charmer?  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 25 February 2010, 10:16:41 pm
People wonder why I get so irritated at the rate of things around here. well check out this email I recieved today...

"are u aware there s   and economic downturn...   and the whole country is in a pickle of a mess      u need to lower them rates"

Since it was one of those escort/dating sites...I reported it, so sooner or later I'll see that account show as 'suspended', just as several of them have been lately who has contacted me with nonsense.

My thing is, if people don't want to pay...why even contact me? It doesn't make any sense. Seems like being an escort is by the most offensive thing to people around here.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sophleeds24 on 26 February 2010, 01:21:54 pm
I had the best voicemail yesterday...

"Hi, you look really sexy. I was wondering, how much would it take for you to only see me? Because I have ?15,000 if that would be enough. I'd like you to marry me, would you do that? How about we meet up for an hour in my hotel first, if you like it then we can arrange some money."

OMG I'm SO excited... Who'da thought, me as a blushing bride... duuuur...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 26 February 2010, 01:31:27 pm
Quote from: sophleeds24 on 26 February 2010, 01:21:54 pm
I had the best voicemail yesterday...

"Hi, you look really sexy. I was wondering, how much would it take for you to only see me? Because I have ?15,000 if that would be enough. I'd like you to marry me, would you do that? How about we meet up for an hour in my hotel first, if you like it then we can arrange some money."

OMG I'm SO excited... Who'da thought, me as a blushing bride... duuuur...

"?15,000? Yes sir, that will cover 3 months of marriage. The divorce will cost you ?2million. Hope to hear from you soon!"

 8)  :D  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sophleeds24 on 26 February 2010, 01:39:37 pm
I know! I got a follow up text saying "so how much would it take for u to just be mine?"

My friend did suggest I agree to it, get him to buy me a ring then do a runner though... What a lovely chap, yep, ?15,000 will have me set for life!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 26 February 2010, 02:50:55 pm
Quote from: sophleeds24 on 26 February 2010, 01:21:54 pm
How about we meet up for an hour in my hotel first, if you like it then we can arrange some money."

That's totally the wrong way around. ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 26 February 2010, 04:59:11 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 26 February 2010, 02:50:55 pm
Quote from: sophleeds24 on 26 February 2010, 01:21:54 pm
How about we meet up for an hour in my hotel first, if you like it then we can arrange some money."

That's totally the wrong way around. ;)

But he does say to meet in "his" hotel first - perhaps it's Mr Hilton himself!!  :o ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 27 February 2010, 12:03:56 am
I'm not sure this falls under this thread as it happened during the appointment not before, but anyway...

Right in the middle of the action, client stops to say:
'Has anyone ever told you that you look like Amanda Knox? You know, the convicted murderess?'
That's a new one on me...!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 27 February 2010, 01:23:18 am
Quote from: Lucymay on 25 January 2010, 09:09:49 am
"bbe u shaggin 2nyt. And cn u cmc c me"

Ughhhh!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Claudia on 28 February 2010, 03:53:07 pm
We have two email addresses and we got this in both so I guess others got it as well but I couldn't find it posted.

Hi love, I wana meet asap, i wana fuck u and suck my small cock pls mail me back when u ave time and ur rate for two hour, i cant waite.
 
with kisses

Well, if you want to suck your small cock, you don't have to pay us for that, go ahead... ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 01 March 2010, 12:16:39 pm
Claudia, if you had a small cock, would you want to suck it? And for two hours, good god! What a nightmare that could be, condom coming off and getting stuck in your throat, choking, the ambulance, the shame. It is better to have a professional handle these things, this is why he is calling on you. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 01 March 2010, 06:27:49 pm
Well I want the guy who is so long, that he needs a professional deep-throatist  :D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: anonymoussw on 01 March 2010, 07:55:55 pm
Quote from: Violette on 01 March 2010, 12:16:39 pm
Claudia, if you had a small cock, would you want to suck it? And for two hours, good god! What a nightmare that could be, condom coming off and getting stuck in your throat, choking, the ambulance, the shame. It is better to have a professional handle these things, this is why he is calling on you. 

Speaking as someone who has spent many a contorted teenage hour attempting to achieve the holy grail that is auto-fellatio, I can assure you that is near impossible even for those of us lucky enough to have large cocks...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 01 March 2010, 08:22:07 pm
Oh go ahead honey, blow your own horn.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jewel on 01 March 2010, 08:57:19 pm
As Benny says, he wishes he could...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Claudia on 02 March 2010, 10:06:44 am
Violette, you're right, lol, that sounds really bad! ;D I was thinking about meeting him after all as I've never seen such a flexible guy! If I do, I'll make sure to make some nice photos and share with all of you! ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Richard on 02 March 2010, 09:10:43 pm
Quote from: bennyboywonder on 01 March 2010, 07:55:55 pm
Speaking as someone who has spent many a contorted teenage hour attempting to achieve the holy grail that is auto-fellatio

Didn't we all? :)

I love clients with small ones. So much easier to suck.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: anonymoussw on 02 March 2010, 09:29:48 pm
Quote from: Richard on 02 March 2010, 09:10:43 pm
I love clients with small ones. So much easier to suck.

Pah - I am a total size queen. The bigger the better :P

 :-[
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 03 March 2010, 01:23:03 am
So I don't reply to texts, but rule are there to be broken sometimes and I have been in a strange mood latetly.

Got text on sat: I want to book you for this afternoon, but can't get to shop for top up yet so could you please phone me. Thanks. James X

I didn't reply.

Sun 2pm: Can you phone please thanks
Sun 2:05: Can you phone please
 
I reply: You want to book, you call, you pay.

Him: I have no credit, but I do want to book someone. For 3 hours

Me: And I just fell out of the stupid tree!

Him: No I really do

10 min later: Please, I have the money

Me: Hahaha, no money for credit, but money to text and to have three hours of sex? Stop insulting my intelligence! Your number is now barred.

How pathetic, hehe
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 05 March 2010, 09:54:21 pm
Update from my timewaster twat, send me a text saying: who is this?

I didn't reply.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 06 March 2010, 02:52:30 am
Haha that reminds me Cass. Message on AW. "Hi" (me) Hello what can I do for you? (Him)  If you want plumbing or odd jobs done.....
How kind of him!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 06 March 2010, 04:48:58 am
Quote from: Richard on 02 March 2010, 09:10:43 pm
Quote from: bennyboywonder on 01 March 2010, 07:55:55 pm
Speaking as someone who has spent many a contorted teenage hour attempting to achieve the holy grail that is auto-fellatio

Didn't we all? :)

I love clients with small ones. So much easier to suck.
Thb, for work, I like things nice and mid sized, easier to work with, not too much worry of condom slippage, whereas a smaller members presents all manner of logistical problems. Like the time I almost choked when I inhaled and the condom slipped completely and  because of the force I was using I almost swallowed it!  :o Oh I was using a EXS Snug-fit at the time as well. Which are indeed snug, you can do the math. Also positions, what position do you use when you are dealing with a rather small member? I have been known, to just guide some gentlemen in the back way without mentioning it; because I know they wouldn't feel anything otherwise.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 07 March 2010, 12:53:08 pm
hi, will you charge me 50 for suck and fuck? for an hour? i dont last that long anyway (5 mins max) and the rest of the time ill just want to suck your nipples and hold you.

I dont know whether to laugh or cry!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 07 March 2010, 02:09:09 pm
Would you meet me and my gf for nothing
No
Just to see how we get on or do u no any girls that will
No
How much for man and women and U
Call me

Numpty
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 07 March 2010, 07:32:48 pm
Quote from: cindy on 07 March 2010, 12:53:08 pm
I dont know whether to laugh or cry!

I'd laugh. Otherwise there might be some days where you never stopped crying...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 08 March 2010, 12:27:17 am
Quote from: Alexa on 07 March 2010, 07:32:48 pm
I'd laugh. Otherwise there might be some days where you never stopped crying...

So true,

had a normal  phonecall, very respectful and friendly  :)

but then - If I make you cum will you give me a discount?

erm, let me think - NO!!!

He then tried to argue so I told him to forget it and hung up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 08 March 2010, 10:30:12 am
Ah, the youth of today!

can i cum smash that huge booty of yours babe but im 16 is that ok


Erm..... No.

Wonder if he was planning to raid his piggy bank for the fee?


My first "how not to book an escort" message -  I feel like a real escort now!  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: anonymoussw on 08 March 2010, 08:24:27 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 08 March 2010, 10:30:12 am
Ah, the youth of today!

can i cum smash that huge booty of yours babe but im 16 is that ok


Erm..... No.

Wonder if he was planning to raid his piggy bank for the fee?


My first "how not to book an escort" message -  I feel like a real escort now!  :D

You'd think they'd have the common sense to at least lie about it...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 09 March 2010, 09:33:40 am
She would have known, grown men don't want to 'smash dat booty, or drop it like its hot biatch', they want to make an appointment, have a date, or visit you.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 09 March 2010, 11:24:38 am
Quote from: Violette on 09 March 2010, 09:33:40 am
She would have known, grown men don't want to 'smash dat booty, or drop it like its hot biatch', they want to make an appointment, have a date, or visit you.



ROFL!!! Indeed!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mango on 09 March 2010, 05:25:50 pm
I got this yesterday:

'Can I book you ... blablabla... normal e-mail...
You look just like my granddaughter.'

The fact that the rest is so serious makes this so creepy. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonEvie on 14 March 2010, 03:40:08 pm


So, does this count??

 ****************
Hello there Evie hun, hows it going?

I'm sorry for the random email on this fine Saturday afternoon by the way sexy, i came across your prfoile and thought i'd try sending you one of the good old fashioned friendly msgs everyone loves, lol. Hope you dont mind?

I'm an escort to btw hun, working in London as well. And after i saw your page and all your amazing pics i basically thought it'd be nice to get chatting to you and see where it might lead. Whether it be on a personal level hopefully, or perhaps even a wild idea i have to pos work together when entertaining ladies and what not. But let me know of course if you'd like to hear more on that particular crazy idea of mine, lol.

You are one utterly beautiful lady btw sexypants!!! (Not like i'm telling you something you dont already know there, lol) Add me on msn as well if you like hun. Its (deluded@deluded.com) Be easier to chat on there possibly, plus i can send you some pics of myself to if you'd like to see them? Cant have us nattering away and you not even know what I look like now can we, hehe.

Well hopefully hear from you soon sexy

*******************


I don't know if it counts as trying to "book me" since it is basically a fella who doesn't know how to speak to women, or strangers, and who fancies himself an 'escort' and would like a free fuck...

but it did bring the LOL's in a big way :)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 14 March 2010, 05:40:30 pm
Aww, I thought it was sort of cute. Most of those requests are a few lines, but he really made a proper go of it! And he can spell, too! I give him an 8 out of 10 for effort.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: anonymoussw on 14 March 2010, 05:50:13 pm
Quote from: Anika Mae on 14 March 2010, 05:40:30 pm
Aww, I thought it was sort of cute. Most of those requests are a few lines, but he really made a proper go of it! And he can spell, too! I give him an 8 out of 10 for effort.

Even if he does write like a middle-aged fruit...  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 14 March 2010, 08:10:31 pm
I hope he includes a free essay and/or poem on what a sexy hunny darling sexypants you are with every booking. Gosh. What's his number? I can't hold myself back! :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Annabelle on 14 March 2010, 09:38:15 pm
Email the other day:

[Illiterate]: Hi. Do you do facials?
[Me]: Check my profile for services provided and fees.
[Illiterate]: How much for facials?
[Me]: Check my profile for services provided and fees.
[Illiterate]: I just want to cum on your face, how much for 5 minutes?
[Me]: Are you even looking at my profile?
[Illiterate]: Yeah, you're well sexy babe.
[Me]: Right, so the part where it clearly states the SERVICES PROVIDED and FEES as well as the highlighted part that the minimum booking time is 1 HOUR if you live in the stated areas is confusing to you?
[Illiterate]: So I have to pay for an hour even if I want 5 minutes?
[Me]: No flies on you!

Hour later:

[Illiterate]: Do you know anyone else who will meet me for 5 minutes?
[Me]: Try the search button.
[Illiterate]: Anyone at all you could recommend?
[Me]: Sure but I charge a referral fee and she has her on rates too.
[Illiterate]: How much?
[Me]: ?70 for the referral, plus her rates which starts of at a minimum booking time of 1 hour...

Well worth not hearing from the charming gentleman again (and no, I don't charge a referral fee - wouldn't have recommended him either mind but still)... he even had the audacity to ask me if I was educated as he "only likes smart birds"...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonEvie on 14 March 2010, 11:59:13 pm
Quote from: Annabelle on 14 March 2010, 09:38:15 pm

 he even had the audacity to ask me if I was educated as he "only likes smart birds"...

 Haha, golly... well, at least he isn't just interested in your face :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Annabelle on 15 March 2010, 12:20:30 am
Quote from: Evie on 14 March 2010, 11:59:13 pm
Quote from: Annabelle on 14 March 2010, 09:38:15 pm

 he even had the audacity to ask me if I was educated as he "only likes smart birds"...

 Haha, golly... well, at least he isn't just interested in your face :)

Ah, this is true and I can at least take some comfort from that. Have to say, when I eventually stopped questioning my sanity, I did have a good chuckle about it.  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 15 March 2010, 01:18:35 am
I had a winner today.

Him: "How big can you take x"
Me:  "I don't keep a ruler next to my bed hun. I've been able to take everything I've been offered so far ;)"
Him: "It's as big as a sky remote but not as fat lol"
 

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 15 March 2010, 02:30:34 am
Quote from: Krystal Champagne on 15 March 2010, 01:18:35 am

Him: "It's as big as a sky remote but not as fat lol"


PSML! Practical guy
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: onagainoffagainGFE on 15 March 2010, 02:54:44 am
The following is a recent phone conversation, but also a masterpiece in low-balling:

Him: Hello. Is this [Jane]?

Me: This is she.

Him: I don't see any half-hour rates listed on your ad.

Me: That is because I don't offer them. Visits begin at 1 hour's length.

Him: But what if I only wanted a 1/2 hour?

Me: I don't offer that.

Him: But, say, I only wanted to see you for a half hour.

Me:  No.

Him: S0, no half hour?

Me: You are very welcome to stay a half hour, but you will be charged the full hour rate.

*Click"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jezebella on 15 March 2010, 10:24:51 am
I got this yesterday:

how much would u want for u to let me rape u
i would want one hour of time and i would want u to act as if u was really getting raped asking me to stop trying to get away ect .....
plus in that hour any think go's im 27 i aint ulgy or fat i just got a dirty sick mind lol
name ur price if its realistck i will book u

No thanks!!


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jewel on 15 March 2010, 01:37:39 pm
Quote from: cassie on 15 March 2010, 02:30:34 am
Quote from: Krystal Champagne on 15 March 2010, 01:18:35 am

Him: "It's as big as a sky remote but not as fat lol"


PSML! Practical guy

Practical? I can vividly imagine him in front of his TV with his remote in one hand and... you know the rest... Sad, sad people we get from time to time. Will never take a remote in my hand ever again.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 15 March 2010, 02:17:23 pm
Got a bit of genius today as well, it's obviously a good week for it. The history behind this one is that I have actually talked to this guy before - he texted me for a booking and then spent another 30 texts or so asking detailed questions about my services and trying to persuade me that he was a straight male escort looking for someone to do couples work with - sounded like asking for freebies to me and I said no to that. He still seemed interested in the booking, but was only free on an evening I wasn't available. He said he'd text back another time and I figured that was it, time wasting done.

This morning:

Him: R u up 4 a drink then? X
Me: I'm up for a booking. I don't socialise for free.
Him: Awww go on, if we shag al stil pay ya x [Generous, isn't he?]
Me: No. I have friends and a boyfriend, I do not need to drink with clients.
Him: Do u have any single mates?
Me: They don't date my clients either. If you want to pay for sex use adultwork.com, if you want free sex use match.com. Tbh it'll end up costing you either way. Hooking you up with freebies is not a service I provide.

Heard nothing back since, haha. Got to love the guy's confidence - because I'm going to give out the numbers of all the single ladies I know to a guy I've never met or even seen a picture of. Classy as.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 15 March 2010, 02:57:01 pm
Quote from: Krystal Champagne on 15 March 2010, 02:17:23 pm
Me: They don't date my clients either. If you want to pay for sex use adultwork.com, if you want free sex use match.com. Tbh it'll end up costing you either way. Hooking you up with freebies is not a service I provide.

Ha! Love this. ;D

What a knob!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Claudia on 15 March 2010, 05:36:42 pm
This is nothing compared to these gems and I don't really know if it counts as booking attempt or what but I got this text yesterday night (around 4 AM)

Orangeee!!

That's it! ;D I have no idea what this means :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 15 March 2010, 06:31:49 pm
Meant to post this a couple of days ago, last post just reminded me.

Got text at 0:57 am 'Are you free tonight'  (profile clearly states you need to get in touch before 10pm if you want early morn appointment so ignored it and attempted to go back to sleep - had to be up at 4am for flight so was far from unimpressed...)

1:49 am Same guy texts back, waking me up again. This time, in fluent Spanish. Which I don't speak a word of. French or German, yes. Spanish, no. Needless to say, the inconsiderate man won't be seeing me anytime soon... x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexxx on 17 March 2010, 08:43:09 pm
Got this yesterday:
I'm 26 when you free to ride my dick.

Erm, never. Idiot.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexxx on 17 March 2010, 08:46:21 pm
Do U av msn. Lke big cocked toi bois.

Where do I start with this one? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
Some days I have to stop myself from stamping on the phone. So many dickheads, so little time......lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 18 March 2010, 12:21:58 am
Oh Miss Alex! Ive made a text template for just that sort of enquiry.
It says, "Is this a game? Are we playing 'Who's that w*nker?"  ;D
Im dying to use it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sophleeds24 on 22 March 2010, 01:17:33 pm
Oh, looks like I complained about it being quiet too soon...

"hi babe am 15 n have a gf but she wunt let me do her up the bum cud i do u for 30 quid?"

!!!

I just don't know where to start.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 22 March 2010, 01:24:49 pm
Quote from: sophleeds24 on 22 March 2010, 01:17:33 pm
Oh, looks like I complained about it being quiet too soon...

"hi babe am 15 n have a gf but she wunt let me do her up the bum cud i do u for 30 quid?"

!!!

I just don't know where to start.

Oh bless.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 22 March 2010, 02:02:27 pm
Quote from: sophleeds24 on 22 March 2010, 01:17:33 pm
Oh, looks like I complained about it being quiet too soon...

"hi babe am 15 n have a gf but she wunt let me do her up the bum cud i do u for 30 quid?"

!!!

I just don't know where to start.

LOL. It's like he read through this thread and took notes from every other weirdo mentioned so that he could be the BEST OF THE BEST in regards to nauseating a sex worker. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sophleeds24 on 22 March 2010, 02:23:55 pm
I really wanted to respond, but I'm not sure I could get my (many) points across without offending him...
Bless!!

No bloody wonder is girlfriend won't let him...  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: anonymoussw on 22 March 2010, 04:32:44 pm
Quote from: sophleeds24 on 22 March 2010, 01:17:33 pm
Oh, looks like I complained about it being quiet too soon...

"hi babe am 15 n have a gf but she wunt let me do her up the bum cud i do u for 30 quid?"

!!!

I just don't know where to start.

Hahahahaha! That made my day...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sophleeds24 on 22 March 2010, 05:31:33 pm
And here's a fab email I've just got on AW... This is fantastic. I'm definitely going ahead, I can see making millions from it!  ;)

(Sorry for the lack of spacing... I thought you needed the full effect of the message!)

Hi, I recently mailed you about a booking which you had to refuse due to the fact that it was not worth your while getting a hotel booked. Well I am offering to help you in a big way. Please read this mail as it wont cost you anything, if your not interested at the end them just bin it! My wife is also an escort on this site and we work as a team and earn a great deal. (She does the work really, I just do the admin and site management) if you want to spend time in a hotel I can tell/show you how to earn between 350 to 750 pound a day. If you do a couple days in a row you will make average 1000 to 1200 pounds a time. I am not interested in any money from you or neither am I wanting to take any pics for myself. I will have to meet you to show you how its all done, from then its all up to you. I am not messing you about or lying to you. You just need to know what you need to do, when and some other very important things. I promise you will be amazed at real earnings to be made. Me and my wife work for us 2, thats it. We involve nobody else. All I ask from you is a little fun when we meet. Honestly, this is not just a load of rubbish to get a free booking, it is a gen offer. If I have a good time with you I will be back for more paying your normal rates. One last thing, whatever I tell you and show you please keep to yourself. A handfull of escorts with this info is fine but too many would mean less money for us. Lol know what I mean? Well let me know, after all this wont cost you but will I promise make you alot of money. If you decide to go for it then get back asap, if not then would you mind just sending a quick message? Like "no thanks" or something. Thank you. You are the 1st person I have contacted about this please think hard about it before saying no. Take care x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Claudia on 22 March 2010, 06:32:45 pm
Sophleeds24, this is UNBELIEVABLE!!! :o :o :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sophleeds24 on 22 March 2010, 07:22:21 pm
That's what I thought!
Like he actually thinks there's some trick to it?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Claudia on 22 March 2010, 07:53:15 pm
Quote
One last thing, whatever I tell you and show you please keep to yourself. A handfull of escorts with this info is fine but too many would mean less money for us. [/i]

Oh, Sophleeds, you're so generous, now we can all get the email address of this gentleman from you, follow his advice and make this kind of money, although it means "less money for you"! ;D

But really, it's so disgusting! >:(
This mail sounds like this:
 "Hi, I know you're only a ho so you are naturally greedy and very very stupid so I can take advantage and I will!" - translated by Claudia. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Annabelle on 22 March 2010, 08:16:18 pm
Shit; here I was completely wasting my time today getting ?500... I thought I had some tricks up my sleeve. Still, what an offer!! Oooh, to be part of an exclusive club where you can learn the secrets to earning ?750 a day if you give him a freebie... I can see why you're tempted!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sophleeds24 on 22 March 2010, 08:27:37 pm
I really like the "if you're not interested, just say no thanks"
Or, I could just block you for being an absolute plonker!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Annabelle on 22 March 2010, 08:34:58 pm
Quote from: sophleeds24 on 22 March 2010, 08:27:37 pm
I really like the "if you're not interested, just say no thanks"
Or, I could just block you for being an absolute plonker!

Has his "wife" sent you a message yet? I'm curious as to what their "set up" is really like...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sophleeds24 on 22 March 2010, 08:45:04 pm
When I get back tonight and I'm not on my blackberry, I'll post the username up. Its something like stu and angel and they're in Liverpool.
Read the profile description... I'm not sure which one of them is supposed to be using the profile!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sophleeds24 on 22 March 2010, 08:46:56 pm
Just checked, its angel_and_stu7117
X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Annabelle on 22 March 2010, 09:02:22 pm
Blimey!! That's quite a profile!! Wife's younger sister?! WTF?!?!

Email definitely does not reflect that profile at all. And for all their "success", that's a very low rating...

You sure know how to attract them! :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Claudia on 22 March 2010, 09:37:16 pm
Well, for me this is the absolute winner of this world championship! He managed to be ridiculous, amusing, disgusting and  totally stupid in one single mail! I simply MUST write him (them?) and ask for this magic formula, what's that freebie I'll have to give him compared to the millions I'll earn!! Annabelle, you should do this too and then you won't have to work for a measly 500 per day! Come on, girls, let's go for the millions! ;D ;D

Oh, and did you read their feedbacks? :P There is a gem too  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Annabelle on 22 March 2010, 09:45:39 pm
Quote from: Claudia on 22 March 2010, 09:37:16 pm
Well, for me this is the absolute winner of this world championship! He managed to be ridiculous, amusing, disgusting and  totally stupid in one single mail! I simply MUST write him (them?) and ask for this magic formula, what's that freebie I'll have to give him compared to the millions I'll earn!! Annabelle, you should do this too and then you won't have to work for a measly 500 per day! Come on, girls, let's go for the millions! ;D ;D

Oh, and did you read their feedbacks? :P There is a gem too  ;D

I'm rather inclined to think he should be messaging ME for tips - after all, 500 for 4 hours, not even so much as a BJ required... damn, I'm so good, I scare myself... :D :D

But the feedback - honestly, I've needed something to make me laugh for a few days now but I have to say, what a beauty of a post from Sophie - I really don't think I can get something of that calibre...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sophleeds24 on 22 March 2010, 11:26:13 pm
Haha! I was almost crying laughing when I read it, its just fantastic.
Thankfully I saw one of my lovely regulars tonight which gave me some faith!

The wife's younger sister part got me too... What a family! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 23 March 2010, 09:26:23 am
Quote from: sophleeds24 on 22 March 2010, 11:26:13 pm
Haha! I was almost crying laughing when I read it, its just fantastic.
Thankfully I saw one of my lovely regulars tonight which gave me some faith!

The wife's younger sister part got me too... What a family! ;D

Bleurgh, I looked at the profile too! :P

And yes, after witnessing things like that it's such a relief to remember that for us, our own work is actually enjoyable and pleasant and nobody has to do anything to anyone's younger sister!

The whole thing is quite ironic really. 'Stu' & co are obviously not getting enough interest so he/they decided to go spamming ridiculous 'business' ideas to real working escorts who are doing it right, and who therefore have no interest in freebies or partnering up with random desperate weirdos. Ah, Stu. If only you knew.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sophleeds24 on 23 March 2010, 11:18:02 am
This is not my week... Bit of a rant coming up here lol, I need to vent!

I recently advertised on my AW blog that I was looking for a driver - I had some ridiculous applications, and some pretty nice ones from genuine men who were respectful, polite, and understood the role.

I also recieved LOADS of emails from one man named Chris, who works full time in Tesco as a manager (great, so no spare time to drive me around...).

Not only did he refer to me as "honey", "sweetheart" and "baby", he gave me an incorrect telephone number TWICE. I emailed him and said I'd filled the position and wouldn't be interviewing anyone else (a lie, but he was boring me).

Today, I get a booking request on AW.

"1 hour, ?60. We can talk about me being your driver, then have some hot sex =)"

SO - me being me, and in a pretty arsey mood already, I typed out a lovely email to him...

Hi.

Firstly - my outcall rate for 1 hour is ?100, not ?60. I'm not sure why you thought you were a candidate for a discounted rate, as I state on my profile I do not give discounts to anyone.

Secondly, I wouldn't engage in any form of sexual activity with a prospective employee, be it in my personal or business life.

Thirdly, may I ask - did you go into your interview at Tesco referring to your interviewer/prospective employer as "honey"?
I'd bet quite a bit that you didn't, and I don't understand why you thought it was acceptable to refer to me in that way.

When you responded to the advert, you were applying for a job. I would have been your employer, you would have been paid in cash and certainly would not have been giving any "freebies" or discounted rates.

I am running a business, I pay taxes, and I am looking for a professional employee who conducts their business with such standards.

Please refrain from sending me anymore correspondence, it will be ignored.

I pressed send... to find out he's deleted his AW profile. Either that, or he's been suspended. I'm so mad, I wanted to give him a piece of my mind!! ARGH.

WHY!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonEvie on 23 March 2010, 11:20:25 am
Quote from: sophleeds24 on 23 March 2010, 11:18:02 am


I pressed send... to find out he's deleted his AW profile. Either that, or he's been suspended. I'm so mad, I wanted to give him a piece of my mind!! ARGH.

WHY!

 Awww, shame! good for you though, that was well done :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 23 March 2010, 03:27:20 pm
Quote from: Evie on 23 March 2010, 11:20:25 am
Awww, shame! good for you though, that was well done :)

Seconded!

The last guy who sent me "I'll be your driver because I think you're a silly whore who'll give me free sex" spam got a brief and snarky reply, too! Plus, WHY do men register on Adultwork as "bigpenis69" or any variation thereof and then think that receiving emails from them makes any woman do anything but snicker? Honestly, hearing that "pussylicker82" or "c0ckdrill3r" want to be my driver fills me with a vague sense of dread. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 23 March 2010, 07:38:30 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 23 March 2010, 03:27:20 pm
WHY do men register on Adultwork as "bigpenis69" or any variation thereof and then think that receiving emails from them makes any woman do anything but snicker?

I suppose it's just the same instinct that causes people to register on Lord Of The Rings boards as "Frodo2000". For most sites it's just a bit tedious, but when the topic is sex you get the disconcerting feeling that you're surrounded by 13-year-olds.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Claudia on 25 March 2010, 11:02:43 am
It seems that I always get really stupid texts :-\

I got this today:

"The boys from paisley stuck it right up the catholiic choirboy molestors!"

 ??? ??? ??? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cherrylips on 25 March 2010, 12:57:03 pm
Claudia

I shall explain!  St Mirren (a football team from Paisley, Scotland) were playing Celtic (a football team from Glasgow, Scotland and known as a catholic football team) last night.  

The latest headlines regarding the sexual abuse carried out by Catholic priests is what prompted the 'catholic choirboy molestors' part of the text.  St Mirren won 4-0  :o which prompted the 'stuck it right up' part of the text!!

I think its safe to say whoever texted doesn't support Celtic!



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 25 March 2010, 06:03:29 pm
Gentlemen calls me today, and asks how much for a bj, he is 40 and has never had a BJ, I am so sorry to say I busted out laughing.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Claudia on 25 March 2010, 07:59:34 pm
Thank you, that makes sense now!! :D

I still don't get it though...why would anyone text this to me? Maybe he wanted to start a conversation with it? ??? It was a great thing to wake up to this anyway :D

Violette, that's funny ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cherrylips on 25 March 2010, 09:26:14 pm
Quote from: Claudia on 25 March 2010, 07:59:34 pm
Thank you, that makes sense now!! :D

I still don't get it though...why would anyone text this to me? Maybe he wanted to start a conversation with it? ??? It was a great thing to wake up to this anyway :D

Violette, that's funny ;D ;D ;D

Its possible that it was sent to your number by mistake?   I have had random messages sent to both my work and non-work.  In fact I bought a brand new cheapy PAYG phone a couple of months ago for work and took it out the box, charged it, switched it on and a text came through saying 'happy birthday you old bastard'!!  How bizarre!!  (No it wasn't my birthday!)

Anyway i'm getting way off topic here sorry everyone xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 25 March 2010, 10:32:26 pm
A lovely timewaster tonight:

"do u do facial?"
"No, sorry, I don't offer facial."
"wat do u do?"
"My full list of services is on my profile."
"how much 2 wank on ur face covered in oil?"
"I don't do facial and I don't work with oil."
"well wat do u do?"

DONE WITH THAT CIRCULAR BULLSHIT NOW.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 25 March 2010, 11:02:14 pm
Quote from: Claudia on 25 March 2010, 07:59:34 pm
I still don't get it though...why would anyone text this to me? Maybe he wanted to start a conversation with it? ??? It was a great thing to wake up to this anyway :D

It sounds like the sort of thing people send to everyone in their phone book. I get those now and then.

Krystal: texts are bad! Don't do it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sophleeds24 on 26 March 2010, 06:55:04 am
YEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!

Stupid Chris "Honey Bunny" Driver reactivated his account... and messaged me saying "Hi sweetie, did you get my booking request?"

COPY... PASTE... SEND!

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Claudia on 26 March 2010, 10:12:09 am
Yes, it's very likely that he sent it to everyone ;D Anyway, I feel much better now that you solved this little mystery for me :D Maybe I will have to start a thread called "What did he mean by this text?" I get so many stupid texts that I don't get  and as I never reply to texts, my life is filled with unsolved text mysteries::)

Quote from: Krystal Champagne on 25 March 2010, 10:32:26 pm
"how much 2 wank on ur face covered in oil?"

 ??? This sounds bad... :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 26 March 2010, 11:04:11 am
Quote from: sophleeds24 on 26 March 2010, 06:55:04 am
YEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!

Stupid Chris "Honey Bunny" Driver reactivated his account... and messaged me saying "Hi sweetie, did you get my booking request?"

COPY... PASTE... SEND!

 ;D

*cheers and dances*  ;D

PurLEEEEEASE let us know if he replies!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sophleeds24 on 26 March 2010, 11:21:28 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 26 March 2010, 11:04:11 am

*cheers and dances*  ;D

PurLEEEEEASE let us know if he replies!!

He's read it, no response yet though... =(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 26 March 2010, 11:49:12 pm
Quote from: Claudia on 26 March 2010, 10:12:09 am

Quote from: Krystal Champagne on 25 March 2010, 10:32:26 pm
"how much 2 wank on ur face covered in oil?"

 ??? This sounds bad... :-\

Why the oil though?  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 26 March 2010, 11:56:18 pm
Is he covered in oil, or is your face covered in oil? x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 26 March 2010, 11:59:04 pm
This email made me want to pop the shit out of this guy:

Maybe, although in Dallas I think your prices are a little high. There are some hot guys who do what you do for $100--and one or two for even less.  That's not to demean your service.  I'm sure it's exquisite. But it's a buyer's market, my friend.

Another reason why cheap whores need to stop selling themselves cheap. Its enough that these idiots are getting on my damn nerves, its another that 'we' escorts are selling ourselves for shit pay.

edit: I know that sounds a bit harsh, but I had a friend who told me about how the buyer's have conquered one city, just by doing that. At first, he was charging 140. Then, another guy would pop up and charge 20 bucks less. The client would then go to the other guy and say, "well so and so is doing it for such and such." Then, my friend would lower his to such and such rate, and so and so would lower it 20 dollars less than that.

Apparently that went on for many months, to the point where the market is so fucking cheap, that its considered perfectly normal to do full service for chump change. I just wanted to slap my friend for playing that game  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 29 March 2010, 09:38:38 pm
My response would be:
Thank you for your thoughtful  and insightful email. It does seem rather funny that you would single me out to 'inform' me as you say of the current pricing situation. If my price is out of your range, fair enough. It is understandable in these economic times, luxury items such as this are not as affordable as they once were. But I am sure if you keep looking you will find exactly what you are looking for, or who knows you may win the lottery and then you can afford to book me. Until then, please do not bother me with any more of your inane, and insulting emails. There is no need to respond to this.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 29 March 2010, 10:21:41 pm
Oh dear! I get nice texts sometimes from TW no124. Last time he tried to get me in a sext convo I gave him a choice. Leave me alone, warning board, cant remember third choice but didnt hear back from him lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Annabelle on 29 March 2010, 10:57:14 pm
I got an email this morning from a guy on AW who is in 2 minds as to whether or not he'll book me. Kinda made up his mind for him as this is what I woke up to (the previous email I sent him was explaining that I have an active, and rather enjoyable life outside of escorting and therefore, don't seek to see more than 4 clients a week):


600 a week for 40 weeks is 24,000 a year after tax or equivalent of 30,000 a year before tax and NI... which is not a huge salary for the health risks and other risks involved... it would be almost as risky as a soldier's job... your body is on the front line and god knows how many bugs men carry around these days... One bug in particular is called the human papillomavirus (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_papillomavirus) or called HPV.

HPV is carried by most people including myself! The body normally identify it and usually neutralise it but I am no expert... you can get it even if you use protected sex and my guess is that you probably have it in one form or more... the good news is that it is inoffensive with some exception but the bad news is that it is undetectable unless symptoms arise... in my case, I ended up with genital warts given by an HPV form my partner gave me... I never had any problem except since I am with her! Now, it is all sorted but gosh, be careful and get screene checked regularly to avoid cervical cancer which is the worse that can happen to a woman who has got the HPV virus...
I know it is not fun to talk about but your job is a risky one and earning 30,000 before tax is easy with a bit of studying without having to sleep with loads of men... I use to earn myself 130,000 in the City and it is now because I am a rocket scientist - just a bit of dedication and effort and you will find yourself something in the social sciences arena much better...

Well, I did not do your job and still ended up with it from a woman who had not slept with many guys - I think I am her 4th or 5th guys in her lifetime... she had few women experience 2-3 women but nothing of the magnitude of most of us... all this to say, even the quite people are at risks...

Sorry for my dark email this morning... I just hope you are not taking to many chances.


Sexy huh? Can you imagine what scrutiny I would be under if I actually met the bloke?! And whilst he's got a point about the risks involved and what not, I'm a bloody professional for God's sake, even if I am new!! Begs the question why he's seeking services in the first place if he feels that strongly about one's health...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 29 March 2010, 11:41:34 pm
 Message:You look great. I would like to spend an hour with you and have repeat sessions. In addition to conventional things I like to receiveve a very hard caning.Do you have any ratan canes?Do you deliver severe canings?Are you willing to receive a few strokes? Hope we can give each other great pleasure.Love Graham.
Need I say more ladies? Or is the gold medal his?!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 30 March 2010, 06:25:32 am
Quote from: Violette on 29 March 2010, 09:38:38 pm
My response would be:

I finally worked up enough nerve to say, "Just because YOU cant afford it, doesn't make it too expensive"  >:(  He couldn't even respond. And...a buyer's market? Please. If that statement was true, then escorts would be charging $1 for an overnight, because men would talk us that low if we let them  >:(  >:(  >:(    Just today, some guy cheapskate was trying to get me to come to a downtown location (which means I have to pay for parking upon arrival) for $10 bucks less because he quote "didnt feel like going to the atm as it would cost him more to get out the money".

You dummy....

So I'm supposed to lose money on parking and coming to you just because you dont want to take your fat ass to the ATM  >:(

Quote from: Annabelle on 29 March 2010, 10:57:14 pm
Sexy huh? Can you imagine what scrutiny I would be under if I actually met the bloke?! And whilst he's got a point about the risks involved and what not, I'm a bloody professional for God's sake, even if I am new!! Begs the question why he's seeking services in the first place if he feels that strongly about one's health...

No real client would be talking that sort of shit. He's obviously one of those escort-hater men who hate escorts. Bitter. The same guys who send me emails saying my rate is too much and that other guys are hanging from the chandeliers for $50  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 30 March 2010, 08:08:22 am
Urgh, Annabelle, I've had similar email dealings with one or two weirdos like that in the past! One booked and showed up only to leave within two minutes but then spent rather a loooong time composing endless emails to me about how dangerous my job is and how I must have given him a lump on his penis (despite us not having touched or undressed or ANYTHING!). I told him to go to the bloody GUM clinic and piss off, lol, but he kindly kept me in the loop with dozens more emails about his thoughts and fears. I had to block his email address

The thing that scares me is not understanding these guys' mindsets. I'm inclined to agree with Joey, there's definitely some creepy hatred/fear going on so maybe they're deeply repressed? Or maybe they see themselves as real superheroes, going round spreading (slightly incorrect) information about STIs to the women who know far more than most about them?

I dunno! I was freaked out for ages after that guy. :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 30 March 2010, 05:45:38 pm
They both sound like they suffer from cyprianophobia, an intense fear of prostitutes and venereal diseases. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 04 April 2010, 05:56:32 pm
I just got this text:

Hi babes just bought stuff 4 my car will u do 1hr for 90 plz il cum loads x

 :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 04 April 2010, 06:43:23 pm
Quote from: Alessia on 04 April 2010, 05:56:32 pm
I just got this text:

Hi babes just bought stuff 4 my car will u do 1hr for 90 plz il cum loads x

 :D
So  is he wanting to shag you bending over said car I wonder? How exciting! It reminds me of the time a client was interested in having sex in my communal garden in broad daylight. I felt like  suggesting we try it in front of his own house!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 04 April 2010, 07:10:34 pm
Quote from: Alessia on 04 April 2010, 05:56:32 pm
I just got this text:

Hi babes just bought stuff 4 my car will u do 1hr for 90 plz il cum loads x

 :D

LOL, what a delightful gift for you. Maybe he's been reading SAAFE and the thread about that guy who came 12 times in 4 hours or whatever it was!

PS On a side note, I'm actually getting the creeps now finding out just how many clients/weirdos read SAAFE.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 05 April 2010, 01:33:21 am
Quote from: cindy on 04 April 2010, 06:43:23 pm
So  is he wanting to shag you bending over said car I wonder? How exciting! It reminds me of the time a client was interested in having sex in my communal garden in broad daylight. I felt like  suggesting we try it in front of his own house!

Glad it's not just me that gets these idiots. Communal gardens and my local park are out of the question!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 05 April 2010, 10:28:47 am
By text;

"Can u do free meet"
"No"
"Free sex"
"No"
"Ok well do u no any women tht will do it for free"
"Try down the pub or local night club"
"Come on u must no some one"

Sorry I was playing with him for fun and did stop there - but it's true! Same guy text me few weeks ago asking if I'd meet him and his GF for free, to see if we got on.

Regards the garden thing I've had a guy ring a couple of times asking about a booking, sounds genuine then asks whether I'm in a flat or house - turns out he wants to have his balls kicked in the garden.  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 05 April 2010, 12:40:29 pm
Quote from: strawberry on 05 April 2010, 10:28:47 am
Regards the garden thing I've had a guy ring a couple of times asking about a booking, sounds genuine then asks whether I'm in a flat or house - turns out he wants to have his balls kicked in the garden.  :o

Haha. I'll do that in the local park. :P

This one isn't a championship contender, but I'll give him an honourable mention.

I was at a party Saturday night. Lots of pole dancers and men only allowed in drag. I took my work phone with me because I'd got drunk with a local comedian the night before and he was excited about putting on his sequined dress and coming along, so I gave him my business card and told him to call.

So anyway, we'd established that he wasn't coming but my phone was still out, and as I was about to do a turn on the pole it was ringing. I thought I should shut it up so I answered and a guy said he wanted to see me as soon as possible. I said that wasn't going to happen tonight so he asked me when I'd be available. I said I don't know, I'm at a party, call me tomorrow. He said he'd been looking at my site for months or years or something and had just got up the nerve to call me. I said I have to go on stage. Call me at noon, hope you won't be too nervous. He said he probably would be and I said oh well, bye.

I felt a bit bad about not helping him get over his fear of short prostitutes on the phone until I realised that the conversation had happened at about 1.30am. Fuck that. If that's the only time you can deal with talking to me, it's not going to happen.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 05 April 2010, 04:12:47 pm
He texted me again today!

Babe at wat time r u free? once i get my car fixed i want to see u fucking feelin really horny xx

Ooh I wonder if he's paying me with a car instead of cash?  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 05 April 2010, 06:13:55 pm
Someone with 2 aliases on AW (one has 2 negs) has sent out 213 emails, made one booking, sent this tempting offer to me:

can i cum to see you today i need to have sex today


 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 06 April 2010, 11:28:09 am
Just a whinge - some guy named T**i keeps phoning between 8 and 9 in the evening, wanting me to go to East London that very day by 10pm for a 3 or 4 hour outcall. I've told him - repeatedly - that he needs to contact me earlier in the day (cos I can't get ready and get to East London in less than an hour), and the booking needs to start earlierbut he's paying no attention. I've filed him under "NO" now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 09 April 2010, 10:32:50 pm
Got this tonight, not really a booking, but made me laugh... and think 'hypocrite'!

'You are very beautiful, and seem to be with a high degree of culture and intelligence; why wasting yourself and your future in this ugly profession? If you were my girl friend or my wife I will be the happiest person in this world, why do you allow scum of human beings to put their dirty hands on you while you are like the precious jewel? sorry for bothering you and you can neglect me mail if you did not like it.'

Why look on AW if you think escorting is such an ugly profession? Men, eh. x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 10 April 2010, 06:58:32 am
Quote from: Alexa on 09 April 2010, 10:32:50 pm
Why look on AW if you think escorting is such an ugly profession? Men, eh. x

Ok, I'm sick of this shit!

Lets all make our own reality show...and show the world all of our meticulously clean clients, who respect our boundaries and treat us well. Cause apparently, the world thinks we are walking the streets with blisters on our soles, hanging from the chandeliers for a dollar...and that these men are all truck drivers or mechanics with greasy hands....

F-ing Hollywood movies, making everyone think we are infected no-bodies  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maiya on 10 April 2010, 10:05:50 pm
Hello Alexa. My name is Maiya and I'm new in this site.
Your last post is really funny!!!
It  made me laugh  :D :D :D :D :D :D
This man is really strange!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maiya on 11 April 2010, 01:16:33 pm
Quote from: American Joey on 10 April 2010, 06:58:32 am
Quote from: Alexa on 09 April 2010, 10:32:50 pm
Why look on AW if you think escorting is such an ugly profession? Men, eh. x

...the world thinks we are walking the streets with blisters on our soles, hanging from the chandeliers for a dollar...and that these men are all truck drivers or mechanics with greasy hands....


The world is strange... I understand you!
I have a university education and my clients are often polite people. But sometimes there are people who write  to me things without sensitivity. Of course, I refuse their request of booking
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 12 April 2010, 01:27:42 pm
Quote from: Anika Mae on 05 April 2010, 12:40:29 pm
Quote from: strawberry on 05 April 2010, 10:28:47 am
Regards the garden thing I've had a guy ring a couple of times asking about a booking, sounds genuine then asks whether I'm in a flat or house - turns out he wants to have his balls kicked in the garden.  :o

Haha. I'll do that in the local park. :P

Hmm. I just had a "general enquiry" regarding ball busting, which ended with him asking if I'd be willing to do it in public.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 12 April 2010, 04:14:23 pm
Ball busting in public? Tell him to look Joey up heheh!
Just kidding Joey.  :P  :-*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 12 April 2010, 04:30:41 pm
Has anyone actually had a proper ball busting booking? I've had the CBT guys where I've tied up their bits and slapped them about, but no kicking or punching. The ones who talk about that all seem to be fantsists, except one guy that I did gentle ball busting with, which I still think is hilarious.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hermione on 12 April 2010, 09:41:13 pm
Quote from: Anika Mae on 12 April 2010, 04:30:41 pm
Has anyone actually had a proper ball busting booking? I've had the CBT guys where I've tied up their bits and slapped them about, but no kicking or punching. The ones who talk about that all seem to be fantsists, except one guy that I did gentle ball busting with, which I still think is hilarious.

I had a guy who was really into the CBT and brought a very wide range of toys.  When he emailed for a booking I believed none of it, and just said yes for fun, figuring that he'd never be heard from again.  I got the shock of my life when he actually booked and showed. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 13 April 2010, 12:25:54 am
I've done plenty of CBT and I haven't found the general stuff to be timewaster fodder, so I wouldn't think one particular subset of it would be so different, but it is. If they want them squeezed and poked I know I've got a good two hours coming, but if they want them punched I know it's all talk.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 15 April 2010, 11:42:22 pm
Had a winner last night - at 3am no less, when I was just heading to bed. I replied due to insomnia, boredom, and unlimited free texts.

"Do u for a ps3x"
"No, cash only."
"awwww"
"Sell it, then you'll have cash."
"dnt u want it like"
"No, I have a Wii, they're better."
"lol the aint"
"Well I like it."
"why dnt u pak in working n go with me lol"
"Because I have a boyfriend and a great job, and you are broke except for a ps3, and I don't know you. Off to bed, goodnight!"
"i aint broke jst got snt 2 ps3 thts al"

Went to sleep after that. Insomnia = cured, at least!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 15 April 2010, 11:46:48 pm
Quote from: Krystal Champagne on 15 April 2010, 11:42:22 pm
"Do u for a ps3x"

Haha, I can just imagine him knocking at your door with a PlayStation and a hard on!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 15 April 2010, 11:50:54 pm
He's probably about 14  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 16 April 2010, 12:28:03 am
Ugh, it's like I cursed myself by posting in this thread. Had a guy texting from two different numbers, each time enquiring about a booking (different time and date each time which is why I didn't twig it was the same one), then at the point of my confirming and just before giving the address "oh by the way I like to do coke during the appointment, hope that's ok".

Just... wtf? Particularly trying it -twice-. Like I'm going to revise my drugs policy in the space of half an hour? Really?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 16 April 2010, 05:19:30 am
Oh go on, you know you want to..It will only be talcum powder/flour to make him look well hard! Im sorry, im probably old enough to have a son his age. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maiya on 17 April 2010, 12:31:32 am
Quote from: Krystal Champagne on 15 April 2010, 11:42:22 pm
Had a winner last night - at 3am no less, when I was just heading to bed. I replied due to insomnia, boredom, and unlimited free texts.

"Do u for a ps3?

Oh! Noooo, I can't believe this!!!
PS3!!!  :D :D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maiya on 17 April 2010, 12:59:28 pm
This morning I discovered that in the kitchen there is a water leak in the wall, it has ruined the furniture and I was already nervous about this. My mobile rang, I calmed down and...

ME: Hallo!
CLIENT: Goodmorning, bla bla bla..
... ...
... ....

CLIENT: Can I see you just to speak with you?
ME: Yes
CLIENT: I would like to invite you for dinner.
ME: Okay, I always enjoy going to dinner with someone.
CLIENT: If I pay for dinner and I do not ask you to go to bed, is it fine for you?
ME: Sure, my prices are for the time you spend with me, the after dinner is just a thing  between consenting adults.
CLIENT: But then this means that I must also pay the time that I will spend with you.
ME: Yes
CLIENT: Can you make an exception?
ME: No because this is for me a temporary and part-time job so my time with you has a price.
CLIENT: Please, this time only. Can you make an exception?
ME: I've told you NO... >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(


Later, I had a shower and I feel better now... :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 17 April 2010, 01:36:27 pm
Ooh, the whiny persistant ones make me feel quite gross, even if they're just on the phone! Showers are always needed afterwards! Glad you managed to wash that creep away. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 17 April 2010, 06:14:43 pm
We really ought to split this section into catergories me thinks. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jewel on 18 April 2010, 05:48:16 pm
I'm pro categories (and a pro generally). We can have Creep, Whiny Creep, Creepy Creep, Mean Creep, SuperCreep and Arsehole ones.

I don't answer the phone after midnight but do go to bed rather late usually. A call at 2.30am. Ignore it. It rings off and starts again. And then again. The fourth time it rings, I answer - just out of curiosity.

Me: Good morning.
Him: Can you come to my hotel in 30mins?
Me: No.
Him: Why?
Me: Because I don't feel like it.
Him (angry): You f*cking c*nt, why do you put your number on the f*cking site if you don't want to work?!
(In case you are wondering, this is the point where I thought I did want to see him after all, if only to rip his balls out and stuff them down his throat)
Me: On the site, does it say anywhere that I'm ready to come and see you 24 hours a day?
Him (hesitantly): No.
Me: Then why did you call?
Him (almost apologetic): Well, I thought I'd check...
Me: And how many times do I need to ignore your call before you get it that your check is over and I'm not interested?
Him (angry again): You f*cking c*nt, why do you put your number on the f*cking site if you don't want to work?!
Me: Click

Honestly, my goldfish should be proud of himself!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maiya on 18 April 2010, 06:39:59 pm
Sometime, I think that there are more crazy people than I can imagine...

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 18 April 2010, 06:43:50 pm
Ooh, that one almost transcends categories, Jewel! Lucky him; he is a Whiny Creep, a Violent Creep AND a Creepy Creep Who Can't Understand Why Women Aren't Falling Over Themselves to Fellate Him. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 18 April 2010, 08:12:04 pm
Another category, maybe: Sad desperado.

My phone goes on silent and is not answered after 8pm, I was still up to be able to ignore my phone 8x in succession from the same number around 3am. The caller finally left a voice mail, which I checked in the morning.
It went: What the f**k do I have to f**king do to get a f**king shag!

ahem, maye be call when I'm working?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 20 April 2010, 04:00:53 pm
Got this gem at 3 in the morning.
"Hi v was wondering wud u fancy an hr for 100?"
Awwww Bless!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 20 April 2010, 07:28:03 pm
Quote from: Violette on 20 April 2010, 04:00:53 pm
Got this gem at 3 in the morning.
"Hi v was wondering wud u fancy an hr for 100?"
Awwww Bless!

People try that crap with me all the time....$100? What is this, 1980?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LilyWhite107 on 20 April 2010, 08:29:13 pm
I got a text today including choice phrases such as "me good looking" and "you won't be disappointed".

Disappointment doesn't come in to it as long as you can pay me. Haha.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 20 April 2010, 11:43:26 pm
Quote from: American Joey on 20 April 2010, 07:28:03 pm
Quote from: Violette on 20 April 2010, 04:00:53 pm
Got this gem at 3 in the morning.
"Hi v was wondering wud u fancy an hr for 100?"
Awwww Bless!

People try that crap with me all the time....$100? What is this, 1980?

Hmmmm... maybe he meant if she gave him 100 he would quit texting and let her have an hours sleep. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 21 April 2010, 07:15:37 am
Phone was on silent. Got the same text again this morning, only the more generic version, no v this time.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 21 April 2010, 08:56:14 am
Quote from: cindy on 20 April 2010, 11:43:26 pm
Hmmmm... maybe he meant if she gave him 100 he would quit texting and let her have an hours sleep. ;D

ROFL!

I want that text now so I can reply, "Wow yes plz 100 sounds great! Do u offer anal & deepthroat? Should I bring my own strapon?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 21 April 2010, 06:00:57 pm
Quote from: Anika Mae on 13 April 2010, 12:25:54 am
I've done plenty of CBT and I haven't found the general stuff to be timewaster fodder, so I wouldn't think one particular subset of it would be so different, but it is. If they want them squeezed and poked I know I've got a good two hours coming, but if they want them punched I know it's all talk.

When I was on tour in Oxford I took a call from a guy for a booking who wanted me to punch him and kick him in the balls.  Assumed he was a timewaster, plus it is not my thing. 

He actually turned up.  Appears he was a real masochist and he taught me how to do it with the upper part of my foot.  Was the most uncomfortable booking of my life - not just for him! Changed my profile to say that I do not do that stuff.  He said that the best session he ever had put him in hospital and had his balls in a sling for 6 weeks.  His wife knew he had "needs" but wouldnt oblige - really? why ever not?  Wierdos
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 21 April 2010, 07:48:38 pm
Quote from: pandora on 21 April 2010, 06:00:57 pm
When I was on tour in Oxford I took a call from a guy for a booking who wanted me to punch him and kick him in the balls. Changed my profile to say that I do not do that stuff.  He said that the best session he ever had put him in hospital and had his balls in a sling for 6 weeks.  His wife knew he had "needs" but wouldnt oblige - really? why ever not?  Wierdos

I briefly did some 'weird' stuff similar to like you mentioned. And I mean...weird. It got to the point where it just started to disgust me. Fortunently I havent come across such a person in months. When the booking is just too freaky...you can leave feeling pretty screwed up
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: miss english on 22 April 2010, 01:40:10 pm
This one has left me dumbfounded:

Quote
darling

will u work in my home in UK, darlington, as full time live in nanny

i will pay u 400GBP per month and u can save all, ur food and accomodation is free

let me know if this interests u. i am 31, married and 2 kids too

can chat in skype or phone if u want to discuss further

love u

Err, wtf?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mango on 22 April 2010, 03:49:51 pm
Miss English that is shocking! He really thinks you need to be 'saved'! (from making a good honest living)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 22 April 2010, 05:01:40 pm

Quote
love u


Aaaaha! Hahaha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 22 April 2010, 07:30:38 pm
Text message of the day

"would like 2 send u a picture of me n my ex doing sumfing i wud like to do 2 u"

this beat the earlier text

" I want a below (sic) job.  I cum quickly.  Will only take 5 mins.  Have 20 quid, give me a ring!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: anonymoussw on 22 April 2010, 07:54:06 pm
Quote from: miss english on 22 April 2010, 01:40:10 pm
This one has left me dumbfounded:

Quote
darling

will u work in my home in UK, darlington, as full time live in nanny

i will pay u 400GBP per month and u can save all, ur food and accomodation is free

let me know if this interests u. i am 31, married and 2 kids too

can chat in skype or phone if u want to discuss further

love u

Err, wtf?!

If I was an actual nanny I would think I was being ripped off for that. Let alone a professional escort who charges twice that in a NIGHT...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 22 April 2010, 08:58:59 pm
Quote from: bennyboywonder on 22 April 2010, 07:54:06 pm
If I was an actual nanny I would think I was being ripped off for that. Let alone a professional escort who charges twice that in a NIGHT...

You're quite right - the guy forgot to mention that as well as nannying, you'd be performing the duties of a full-time, live-in, never-get-any-peace sex slave. For ?400 which is less than (half?) what a part-time nanny who wouldn't touch your willy would charge. Er, also, shouldn't you be seeking someone with childcare qualifications to look after your '2 kids'? Not that any of us aren't 1000% more responsible than this dood but honestly!

Must stop going over that creepy email - have just noticed it also beings with a simple, poignant, "darling". Baahaha, I'm so disturbed yet amused! I'm going to have to go and cackle at myself in a cupboard now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: miss english on 23 April 2010, 09:16:34 am
Quote from: EmilyJones on 22 April 2010, 08:58:59 pm
Quote from: bennyboywonder on 22 April 2010, 07:54:06 pm
If I was an actual nanny I would think I was being ripped off for that. Let alone a professional escort who charges twice that in a NIGHT...

You're quite right - the guy forgot to mention that as well as nannying, you'd be performing the duties of a full-time, live-in, never-get-any-peace sex slave. For ?400 which is less than (half?) what a part-time nanny who wouldn't touch your willy would charge. Er, also, shouldn't you be seeking someone with childcare qualifications to look after your '2 kids'? Not that any of us aren't 1000% more responsible than this dood but honestly!

Must stop going over that creepy email - have just noticed it also beings with a simple, poignant, "darling". Baahaha, I'm so disturbed yet amused! I'm going to have to go and cackle at myself in a cupboard now.

Yep, so many levels of wrong right there.  Why would a London escort want to move to Darlington for less than an au pairs wage? I'm worried I must have child bearing hips or a maternal look about me now! Surely it must have been an attempt to weird me out?

The only consolation is I doubt he has a wife and kids really.  At least I sincerely hope not.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The Courtesan on 23 April 2010, 08:59:14 pm
AW Email today:

"Hi, my name is *****. I gone through your profile. truly is quiet interesting to me then, i decide to contact you. i really want to have a good relationship with you. Beside i have a special something i want to discuss with you, so your can reach me through this email ****. Hope to hear from you soon. i will send my pictures to you and also tell you more about my self. i know age will not be a bearer to our relationship, what i need is just your love and caring.  i will give you my best, bye for now. Your love to be blah blah..."

 :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 23 April 2010, 11:56:29 pm
He wasn't a footballer by any chance?  ;) ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 24 April 2010, 11:25:57 am
Sorry to be the one to break it to you.But I think  it was my new bf who called you just to make me jealous..
And I am jealous!! Please keep him and I will send money for food!! These guys lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucymay on 26 April 2010, 09:33:10 am
"hi my name is frank im collecting tights or hold ups for nursery school for art work for every pair we get a ?1 well be give to charity can you help has if you can can you email has at ******@hotmail.co.uk can you let has know with a yes or no if you well help has i well give you the address to send them to we thanks you so much if you can help can you let has know how many pair you well send thanks"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cherrylips on 26 April 2010, 11:31:34 am
Hi , how much would a 1 hour outcall with you watching me poo and pee on myself and us watching extreme illegal porn cost?
Thanks

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 26 April 2010, 06:51:48 pm
Quote from: Cherrylips on 26 April 2010, 11:31:34 am
Hi , how much would a 1 hour outcall with you watching me poo and pee on myself and us watching extreme illegal porn cost?
Thanks

 ::)


Urgh, I've had the same text twice!  :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: anonymoussw on 26 April 2010, 08:57:20 pm
Quote from: Cherrylips on 26 April 2010, 11:31:34 am
us watching extreme illegal porn

I am curious as to what sort of porn he is referring to here...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Annabelle on 26 April 2010, 10:01:59 pm
Quote from: Wm3200 on 26 April 2010, 09:33:10 am
"hi my name is frank im collecting tights or hold ups for nursery school for art work for every pair we get a ?1 well be give to charity can you help has if you can can you email has at ******@hotmail.co.uk can you let has know with a yes or no if you well help has i well give you the address to send them to we thanks you so much if you can help can you let has know how many pair you well send thanks"

Should have asked for the nursery details and the charity he intended to donate to so you could approach them directly... Still, give hime points for imagination, although including kids doesn't exactly endear him to me...

My art work at nursery pretty much constisted of making and eating salt dough. What I threw up, I considered art.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cherrylips on 27 April 2010, 10:15:44 am
Quote from: bennyboywonder on 26 April 2010, 08:57:20 pm
Quote from: Cherrylips on 26 April 2010, 11:31:34 am
us watching extreme illegal porn

I am curious as to what sort of porn he is referring to here...

Me too but I think there's some things you're better off not knowing!  The mind boggles.....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 27 April 2010, 02:39:51 pm
Quote from: Cherrylips on 26 April 2010, 11:31:34 am
Hi , how much would a 1 hour outcall with you watching me poo and pee on myself and us watching extreme illegal porn cost?
Thanks

 ::)


I've had this one as well!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LilyWhite107 on 27 April 2010, 04:11:43 pm
Oooh, I just had a good one. This guy's tried to make a booking.. and he emailed back..

"dont really normaly pay as i work on here lol but i died when i seen ur pics really was like woooooow perfect girly for me hahaha any way yeah please email me one day if you wana hang out and get nughty xxxx"




He doesn't normally pay because he works for AW.. Doh! Silly me, of course, come on over!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 27 April 2010, 04:14:36 pm
Quote from: Cherrylips on 27 April 2010, 10:15:44 am
Quote from: bennyboywonder on 26 April 2010, 08:57:20 pm
Quote from: Cherrylips on 26 April 2010, 11:31:34 am
us watching extreme illegal porn

I am curious as to what sort of porn he is referring to here...

Me too but I think there's some things you're better off not knowing!  The mind boggles.....

Curiosity got the better of me and I did ask. Not nice. :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LilyWhite107 on 27 April 2010, 04:16:25 pm
Quote from: LilyWhite107 on 27 April 2010, 04:11:43 pm
Oooh, I just had a good one. This guy's tried to make a booking.. and he emailed back..

"dont really normaly pay as i work on here lol but i died when i seen ur pics really was like woooooow perfect girly for me hahaha any way yeah please email me one day if you wana hang out and get nughty xxxx"




He doesn't normally pay because he works for AW.. Doh! Silly me, of course, come on over!


Oh wait, no, now he's saying he's an escort. And he doesn't normally pay for other escorts, but he just couldn't help himself with me.. errrr.. really?.. If I was really loaded, I may find myself sleeping with a male escort, for the experience however.. he has no feedback though (then.. neither do I yet..).. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Haha.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 27 April 2010, 04:49:08 pm
Quote from: LilyWhite107 on 27 April 2010, 04:16:25 pm
Oh wait, no, now he's saying he's an escort. And he doesn't normally pay for other escorts, but he just couldn't help himself with me.. errrr.. really?.. If I was really loaded, I may find myself sleeping with a male escort, for the experience however.. he has no feedback though (then.. neither do I yet..).. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Haha.

Gross... the only thing worse than a con artist is a bad con artist. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sammy s on 27 April 2010, 05:35:30 pm
"Good Evening
My wifes birthday is coming up next week and as a treat I would like to hire you for a 3some. She wont know about it as shes really jealous but I was thinking while we are out for dinner you could let yourself into our room with spare key and be waiting in the bed for her naked.  Im willing to pay you by a lot of money by cheque if you make this fantasy come true"


Hahahaha If my boyfriend did that I'd be really pleased! NOT!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 27 April 2010, 06:23:28 pm
Quote from: sammy s on 27 April 2010, 05:35:30 pm
"[...] this fantasy [...]"

...Of being divorced? Of forcing your wife into homosexual sex? Of sending strange emails to escorts while you have a wank and ejaculate on your keyboard?

Oh, the mysterious timewaster. How I do not wish to know thee.

Edit: Obviously homosexual sex isn't wrong or bad! ;D Only forcing someone into a situation they might not want to be in. Sorry, my wording here was awful! I have a thing about how women are 'expected' to be up for threesomes because we're all "a bit bisexual" or whatever silly hypothesis so I get extra cross at the "surprise! Non-consensual threesome!" idea - anyway, I'll shut up now!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 28 April 2010, 05:07:59 am
This one woke me up and just had to share..."what time you available for a f*cking, babe?"
Saint Never day methinks!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 28 April 2010, 06:32:40 pm
Quote from: sammy s on 27 April 2010, 05:35:30 pm
"Good Evening
My wifes birthday is coming up next week and as a treat I would like to hire you for a 3some. She wont know about it as shes really jealous but I was thinking while we are out for dinner you could let yourself into our room with spare key and be waiting in the bed for her naked.  Im willing to pay you by a lot of money by cheque if you make this fantasy come true"


Hahahaha If my boyfriend did that I'd be really pleased! NOT!

He would have to pay a lot, as you would be at risk of getting slapped  out of the room by the really jealous wife, lol.


Also anyone noticed the 'by cheque' bit.

It would be tragic if it wasn't so funny - wait it is tragic anyway. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 28 April 2010, 07:49:30 pm
Quote from: Wm3200 on 26 April 2010, 09:33:10 am
"hi my name is frank im collecting tights or hold ups for nursery school for art work for every pair we get a ?1 well be give to charity can you help has if you can can you email has at ******@hotmail.co.uk can you let has know with a yes or no if you well help has i well give you the address to send them to we thanks you so much if you can help can you let has know how many pair you well send thanks"

Been away on holiday and had this one also in my in box on my return.  Joy
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cherrylips on 28 April 2010, 09:23:48 pm
Ok I have had some really weird texts and emails the last few days it is a full moon or something?  Anyone had this one?

............I have a foot fetish with a particular interest in hard skin and corns.  I was hoping you could tell me if your feet had either (or both) hard skin and corns??? In session i would be looking to be tied and teased and then be allowed to enjoy your bare feet. Perhaps at the end i might be allowed to cum on the soles of you feet???

WTF?!!   ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 28 April 2010, 10:52:56 pm
Quote from: Cherrylips on 28 April 2010, 09:23:48 pm
Ok I have had some really weird texts and emails the last few days it is a full moon or something?  Anyone had this one?

Hahaha, its actually full moon tonight.

Quote from: Cherrylips on 28 April 2010, 09:23:48 pm
............I have a foot fetish with a particular interest in hard skin and corns.  I was hoping you could tell me if your feet had either (or both) hard skin and corns??? In session i would be looking to be tied and teased and then be allowed to enjoy your bare feet. Perhaps at the end i might be allowed to cum on the soles of you feet???

WTF?!!   ???

Could be worse, he could have asked to chew on your corns. Ok, now I've made myself feel queasy.  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: anonymoussw on 29 April 2010, 06:28:13 am
Quote from: Cherrylips on 28 April 2010, 09:23:48 pm
Ok I have had some really weird texts and emails the last few days it is a full moon or something?  Anyone had this one?

............I have a foot fetish with a particular interest in hard skin and corns.  I was hoping you could tell me if your feet had either (or both) hard skin and corns??? In session i would be looking to be tied and teased and then be allowed to enjoy your bare feet. Perhaps at the end i might be allowed to cum on the soles of you feet???

WTF?!!   ???


This made me actually choke on my porridge...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cherrylips on 29 April 2010, 10:59:32 am
He'd be hard pushed to find a WG with hard skin and corns.  Since I started lying on my back for a living instead of walking around in high shoes for 8 hours a day all the hard skin on my feet has disappeared (sorry Benny I hope you're not eating your porridge!!)  And thankfully I have never had corns so i'm sooooo not the woman for him.

Cassie - I didn't actually know it was a full moon but it just shows you!!  haha.  I knew something was awry what with the freaky emails and texts.   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 02 May 2010, 09:36:29 am
A gent who saw me on webcam the other week pops up on my work msn with the following enquiry.
"When you go to bed do you use a dildo?"
I ignored it as I was having my hot chocolate and didnt want to have nightmares!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lilly1230 on 04 May 2010, 11:02:33 pm
I'd like to listen to some Kenny Gee whilst we do it....

Oh my
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 05 May 2010, 10:23:46 pm
'Hi there. Im looking for a f*** buddy on a regular basis. You up for it? Call me'

If you're paying, possibly. If not... no. Since when did the word 'escort' contain any of those letters? Twit.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xxxtinyxxx on 06 May 2010, 12:19:00 am
Hello Everyone,

Had a call today off a really happy sounding chap, asked who was working, etc then went on to say he needed some Viagra (as if i needed to know) but couldn't get any, would i be able to get him hard etc, after yawning, i replied politely yes, blah blah, he booked an appointment for 5.30.

Rang again asking same thing politely said bye, he then phoned my mobile not realising it was the same person, said the same things, yawn. Put the phone down. Couple of hours later he called again using my work name, was it OK to see him blah blah.  My reply was WILL U JUST F*C* OFF.

Where do these people come from? Needless to say he never showed up!!!!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 06 May 2010, 08:43:37 am
Quote from: cindy on 02 May 2010, 09:36:29 am
A gent who saw me on webcam the other week pops up on my work msn with the following enquiry.
"When you go to bed do you use a dildo?"
I ignored it as I was having my hot chocolate and didnt want to have nightmares!
I would have replied, I use a pillow, what do you use? Idiots!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 06 May 2010, 10:41:36 am
Quote from: Violette on 06 May 2010, 08:43:37 am
I would have replied, I use a pillow, what do you use? Idiots!

Don't do that. Making that seem sexy isn't even a stretch.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 06 May 2010, 12:06:31 pm
Quote from: Alexa on 05 May 2010, 10:23:46 pm
'Hi there. Im looking for a f*** buddy on a regular basis. You up for it? Call me'

Hah! Literally, an escort is going to be TOP of the list of people who are Most Unlikely To Need A Fuckbuddy. The list would look like this:

1. a sex worker
2. a badger
3. a table

...and so on.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 06 May 2010, 12:34:05 pm
Got this email exchange today (had to share. lol!)

"wondering if a could see a few more pics baby would like a bit of a servicing now and then where abouts in glasgow are you" bleuggghhh  :-X "baby" "servicing"!!!!

I replied with a link to my website stating pics are on there and where about Iam

then: "ye aye nice pic do u not have a face one (when website has already stated I don't give out face pics) , wondering if you could give me a price on giving me some good oral sex for an hour?(prices are also on website) am not desperate but ayeve not had it gd for a while how old ru by the way? (again, my age is on website) i'm 30"
 xxx

My reply: "As website says, I do not give out face pics. As website also says the price is ?XXX for an hour of my time. I'm 23"


Seriously pissed off by this stage!!!

Him: "Do you think I could pay ?XXX for an hour for jist a blowjob? Thats why a ask u for less anno what the site says baby , yeh ever get an hour free and fancy doin it for half that then email me babes no hassle just relaxin chattin and suckin cock xxx"

Oh Christ!!!! I was laughing too much to be annoyed, Needless to say he didn't get another reply, and never will. I started to think maybe it was a joke but I don't think so - I spoke to a guy with  the same name and the same age a while ago repeatedly asking for discounts who didn't sound too bright either! think it was the same guy. At least I got a laugh!!!


"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 06 May 2010, 03:48:58 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 06 May 2010, 12:06:31 pm
Hah! Literally, an escort is going to be TOP of the list of people who are Most Unlikely To Need A Fuckbuddy. The list would look like this:

1. a sex worker
2. a badger
3. a table

...and so on.

Literally nearly choked reading that. You've made my day :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cazzie on 06 May 2010, 06:35:17 pm
i really must stop drinking and eating while on here i nearly choking here

with laughter i add   

lol  just joined aw and going from there  so fingers crossed i might be to old lol

had the tw bit after 5 hrs must be record

"wow love the pic
my self and my bi girlfriend want to book you for 7 days in sun and keep us company
when you arent needed you can have free time" to find holiday romance 

excuse me but i was wetting myself by then    i think i give it a miss what you think guys

lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexxx on 07 May 2010, 07:52:32 pm
Cazzie you don't know what you're missing...... ::) lol

I got this text this afternoon: I cant talk at the moment. Wud u do a ass smoothie? I wud pay extra

I didn't even bother replying. If I did I would have told him that although I'd love to, I don't have a smoothie maker so it's not possible.

What a tosser. Must admit I didn't know what an ass smoothie was  ??? So I googled it and even if I did offer anal I wouldn't be doing that. Too messy  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 07 May 2010, 10:15:36 pm
Quote from: Alexxx on 07 May 2010, 07:52:32 pm
I didn't even bother replying. If I did I would have told him that although I'd love to, I don't have a smoothie maker so it's not possible.

LOL. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 08 May 2010, 11:46:40 pm
Just when I spoke to soon re: its usually the older men who are timewasters...

well last night, I get a kid...literally...a child, call me up. must have been early teens. Before he/she could say anymore I yelled, How Old Are You! He/she says 19...not wanting to be bothered with I said, you're too young...and hung up. It may have even been a woman, there was no base in his/her voice...so it had to have been a woman.

Bastard calls me back again, (all the while from a private number, he was calling all throughout the day prior and I was curious as to who the fuck it was). He says, "I may be young, but I have $1,000 on me and want to know what that will get me". I got furiuous and yelled, "DONT CALL ME PRIVATE AGAIN!".

This morning, I got another private call number, but my nerves were already damaged from worrying sick that I couldn't be bothered.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 11 May 2010, 08:23:23 am
This is great, guy calls makes an appointment, 10 mins past the time, no client, no call, no nothing. I called him up to see where he was. Wait for it..... he had completely forgotten! Right, then he texts how sorry he is, and the following morning he texts again, asking to see me. I said no thanks.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 11 May 2010, 10:51:42 am
LOL...Violette. Good that you didnt let him pull that one again.

Well today, I got a text from someone who texted me couple weeks ago. He booked me, saying him and his boyfriend wanted to fuck me and that they were both 8 inches and how much would it be. Once I quoted rate, he didnt respond.

When he texted me today, His texts were still fresh in my phone...I had no trouble finding them. I immediately bought it up and this M.F-er had the nerve to tell me

him: "no, it wasn't me...I dont have a boyfriend."
me: "I'm looking at the texts right now from the other week where you nor your boyfriend showed up"
Him: "thats weird, I dont have a boyfriend. But ok..."
me: no response


Caught him in his ass act
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jewel on 11 May 2010, 09:41:41 pm
Last month, X made a booking, then had a change of plans so we rearranged the time and after that he had to cancel.

Today, an e-mail from him:
"After my messing you about last time I thought I'd try again."

I've a feeling that it's exactly what he'll try to do.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink on 11 May 2010, 10:36:17 pm
Try telling him that you're happy to accept a booking from him, so long as he pays in full well before the date. And charge a 90% cancellation fee. Happy days  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 13 May 2010, 04:20:33 pm
I got this one today:
"I have a strange fantasy always wondered what its u u fart on my face?"
I at this time have no comment.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 13 May 2010, 06:13:13 pm
Quote from: Violette on 13 May 2010, 04:20:33 pm
I at this time have no comment.

HA. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 14 May 2010, 01:29:28 am
Today from a witheld number.

Him. Can I have some details?
Me. Where did you see my ad? ::)
Him. On the internet.
Me. Oh really?
Him. I want to come and see you.
Me. Yeeeess.
Him. 10 or 15 minutes time?
Me. Sure.(yawn)
Him. Give me your address.
Me. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

The art of conversation eh?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 14 May 2010, 01:44:07 am
I got this on AW today:

'hi can u do 30 mins for ?20 of be licking ur pussy today?'

Ooh it's my lucky day  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 14 May 2010, 10:02:44 am
Phonecall yesterday
Fool: (sorry,potential client) Do you do outcalls? How much?
Me: Yes i do,its ?130 for the hour
Fool: Ok great,theres 3 of us,will that be a problem?

Of course not,invite the neighbours round as well and just call me the Simone express ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 14 May 2010, 01:38:31 pm
They, really don't think do they?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sammy s on 20 May 2010, 01:25:42 pm
I just got this email on AW:


whats going on trouble, just had alook at your profile and you caught my eye you lil stunner lol. well just a quick one anyway, it may be for you or it might not. i got a professinal carpet and cleaning company, how about a straight swap after i get your carpets done for some of your time afterwards ?
my name is chris, mixed race, part time model, very muscualr and tonned, 5'10, small penis, and a reasonably nice guy if i say so myself ha, well if its for you babe let me no and we can sort something out. cheers

emailed him back telling him he should look into becoming a comedien.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 20 May 2010, 01:26:31 pm
Just got this email

'I see u do 2gurl. Ill pay u ?150 for 2hrs for 2gurl at mine. I just wnt sex sex n more sex n im skint.'


Wow what an offer how can anyone refuse that. that is not even half our outcall rate for one hour
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 20 May 2010, 01:30:26 pm
Quote from: sammy s on 20 May 2010, 01:25:42 pm
I just got this email on AW:


whats going on trouble, just had alook at your profile and you caught my eye you lil stunner lol. well just a quick one anyway, it may be for you or it might not. i got a professinal carpet and cleaning company, how about a straight swap after i get your carpets done for some of your time afterwards ?
my name is chris, mixed race, part time model, very muscualr and tonned, 5'10, small penis, and a reasonably nice guy if i say so myself ha, well if its for you babe let me no and we can sort something out. cheers

emailed him back telling him he should look into becoming a comedien.

Lol. I think I met this guy yesterday! Luckily he paid me in cash but now that I've read this I'm wondering whether I should doublecheck it's not monopoly money!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 20 May 2010, 03:06:13 pm
Quote from: sammy s on 20 May 2010, 01:25:42 pm
i got a professinal carpet and cleaning company, how about a straight swap after i get your carpets done for some of your time afterwards ?

Haha that's brilliant! I'm always getting people offering to do DIY, photos, etc for me. Even a male hairdresser once. But no one's offered to clean my carpets for me yet :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 20 May 2010, 04:48:21 pm
Oh I get emailed by plumbers and gas fitters every week.
The latest cheeky sod though booked me at a hotel I was in. He bottled it on arrival as it was not discreet enough. ie it was a lovely sunny day and there were one or two people sitting outside having a drink!
He offered me to come outside to give me 20 quid for my trouble which I did without giving him a backwards glance. Then sends dirty texts all flipping afternoon. Go figure! He had the gall to text that the 20 pounds was easy money for me lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 24 May 2010, 09:55:26 am
Went to an outcall yesterday afternoon to a hotel. Walk into the room and the client had his laptop open on my agencies website with my profile up displaying all my photographs. Erm not off putting in the slightest ??? worst bit was i jokingly asked him if he had them up so he could compare my photos to the real me and he answered 'yes'

Hmmmm,wonder why he was having to pay to get a woman to spend time with him?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 24 May 2010, 02:00:20 pm
Quote from: Simone on 24 May 2010, 09:55:26 am
Went to an outcall yesterday afternoon to a hotel. Walk into the room and the client had his laptop open on my agencies website with my profile up displaying all my photographs. Erm not off putting in the slightest ??? worst bit was i jokingly asked him if he had them up so he could compare my photos to the real me and he answered 'yes'

Hmmmm,wonder why he was having to pay to get a woman to spend time with him?

Ooh, I've been to an agency outcall like this before! The guy was browsing the agency website when I arrived and I vaguely remember he was a bit of a berk. He showed me my pictures (which I was very familiar with already THANK YOU), asked me about the other girls and ever-so-kindly gave me his opinions on whether they were Fit or Not. I think the sex-bit went okay but I remember at the end suggesting that he try one of the other superhot babez on the site next time and pleasenotmeagainthanksbye! He was perhaps getting a bit too *into* the idea of going on a website and ordering up a fresh hot bit of ladyflesh - I think he even said he was planning on calling the agency again after I left. I mean, I like pizza and Chinese food as much as the next person but even though you can order online I can't say I've ever done it more than once in a day, it's not THAT awesome. :P

Edit to add: Simone, your particular client sounds like an unapologetic tosspot. Possibly he imagines himself on a one-man crusade to stop those evil bitches from having the barefaced cheek to put sexy pictures online and then charge a fee for sex - how dare they! He knows that all he has to do is book every single escort in the world once and then they'll all retire forever and women can get back in the kitchen popping out babies like they should be. That's my theory anyway. ;D And god, how much better are the clients who see escorts for fun rather than for the opportunity to disparage them (sekritly later on the Internetz) and be generally bitter and evil!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 24 May 2010, 02:34:17 pm
Has anyone turned up to a booking where the guy has your website printed off, page for page?And refers to it word for word?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 24 May 2010, 03:17:36 pm
Well ive seen stuff that would curl your hair without the need for a perm. As in ladies home addresses posted all over the internet. These are the ones who punt "incognito" so that they can fetch thier quizzing glasses, look at you, your place etc and do an impartial report. Nothing to do with the fact that if the lady knew who he was she would join the ranks of "normal" women who wouldnt shag him for any amount of money!
Oh dear, did I say that out loud?!
What I meant to say was im soooo grateful that I was allowed the chance to crawl from under my stone for an hour and promise to scurry back under it! Thanks for coming to see me and its not even my birthday....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 28 May 2010, 10:03:13 am
Texts yesterday from a young man of 19 who had booked for a 30min incalls.

'I cant wait to see you and you seem like a canny lass,i will probs be cheeky and ask for your phone number'

I replied as nicely as i could that i never date clients and i would advise he doesnt ask for my personal details as it will just create an akward situation and ruin the mood.

Answer
'LOL,well i think you will be suprised when you meet me by what i can do for my age. It wont be like work at all for you,more like just pure sex. We will wait and see about the number thing cos i bet you will want to give me it when we meet. By the way do you need a driver,im fast,cheap and reliable'

I cancelled the booking strangely enough,thought it would be the safest thing for the poor young mans safety ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 28 May 2010, 11:20:47 am
Lol, what's his name? I'm pretty sure he's the guy who sent me a long drunken email a couple of months back saying how he was so amazing (and clearly up himself) that I'd be falling at his feet... but he couldn't bring himself to book me, only to date me. Told him no, then he decided to book me a couple of weeks later and wasn't exactly all he'd hyped himself up to be...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Blue on 28 May 2010, 11:22:40 am
 e-mail. 

"Hi love
 
 Firstoff I would like to come to your place, see you, masturbate and discuss your services.
 Just ?20 for that simple sample,say 30mins.

Then if all goes well we can move on to the good stuff.
I am cautious because I want to ensure a good experience. Do we have a deal?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 28 May 2010, 11:28:35 am
Quote from: Simone on 28 May 2010, 10:03:13 am
'LOL,well i think you will be suprised when you meet me by what i can do for my age. It wont be like work at all for you,more like just pure sex. We will wait and see about the number thing cos i bet you will want to give me it when we meet. By the way do you need a driver,im fast,cheap and reliable'

Ooh, those ones are awful, aren't they! I saw a guy the other week who was in his late 20s and had ridiculous hair; he spent the whole appointment talking about how awesome he is and how many girls he has sex with. He went on to tell me that he didn't want to have sex because he gets all his sex for free and loads of girls want to have sex with him so blah blah blah. After 90 minutes of this I gave him some of his money back and told him I'd suddenly had an emergency text from a friend so I had to go out! I know, that was really bad of me, it's not like he wasn't doing anything awful - but if you ask me, being boring and self-obsessed IS a bit of a crime. ;D And as he'd repeatedly said he didn't want any sexual services (I think he'd honestly booked just because he thought it would improve my life to meet him) I wasn't denying him anything. At the end, he tried to ask me out to hang out with him "as friends". I said, YES DEFINITELY!! but that was a naughty lie.

And yes, Simone, I agree - if they're foolish enough to reveal their idiocy via text before the booking, it's definitely best for their health to cancel on them! It would crush them if we accidentally revealed that a lot of our paying clients actually ARE very good at the sexy stuff and so no, there are no discounts for "studs".

The driver bit is especially funny. Ha, yes please, you sound like such a reliable young man! I can't wait to get in your cheap car that you drive too fast!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 28 May 2010, 01:09:32 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 28 May 2010, 11:28:35 am
I gave him some of his money back

Why?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 28 May 2010, 02:33:15 pm
Quote from: xw5 on 28 May 2010, 01:09:32 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 28 May 2010, 11:28:35 am
I gave him some of his money back

Why?



To get rid of him. Hopefully he saw the irony of being paid by a prossie to leave!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 28 May 2010, 02:39:08 pm
True, but I could listen to an awful lot of 'I'm wonderful, me' crap for ?100-?200 an hour.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 28 May 2010, 05:10:48 pm
Quote from: xw5 on 28 May 2010, 02:39:08 pm
True, but I could listen to an awful lot of 'I'm wonderful, me' crap for ?100-?200 an hour.

I think we've already established elsewhere that I'm crap at this job. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 28 May 2010, 05:47:26 pm
I'm with you Emily - for the sake of our sanity, sometimes it's best to miss out on the money! (And I'm sure your not crap! We all do things differently I'm sure) x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bella86 on 29 May 2010, 10:09:55 am
Oh girls :) you kill me!
Have just whiled away a v enjoyable couple of hours Reading through all your stories, had me in fits of giggles more than a few times!! :). Lol :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Annabelle on 29 May 2010, 05:47:41 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 24 May 2010, 02:00:20 pm

I mean, I like pizza and Chinese food as much as the next person but even though you can order online I can't say I've ever done it more than once in a day, it's not THAT awesome. :P
 

Oooh, I think I just had me a little accident... That one line, I swear, will be running through my head from the rest of the weekend; after chuckling to meself once every, say 10 seconds, I'll look like a perfect candidate for the nearest mental hospital after I'm sure, but so worth it...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LilaM on 29 May 2010, 07:29:14 pm
I just got this romantic email:

"Hello my love,
My name is ****,i read through your profile today and i became interested in you,i will also like to know you the more,and i want you to send an e-mail to my e-mail address so i can give you my picture for you to know whom i am and for the both of us to know each other very well and better in life,and we can achieve it in future because ture love and feeling means alot in future.Here is my private e-mail address you can contact me with it.I am waiting for your mail to my e-mail address above and aslo, Remember the distance or colour does not matter but love,feeling,e-motions and sympathetic love matters alot in life.
Thanks,and i promise to be honest and to keep a very good relationship with you."

What goes on in their heads? I am very clear about what I am, services, rates, etc. Why contact a prostitute for this sort of thing?  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Annabelle on 30 May 2010, 12:09:55 am
Quote from: LilaM on 29 May 2010, 07:29:14 pm
I just got this romantic email:

"Hello my love,
My name is ****,i read through your profile today and i became interested in you,i will also like to know you the more,and i want you to send an e-mail to my e-mail address so i can give you my picture for you to know whom i am and for the both of us to know each other very well and better in life,and we can achieve it in future because ture love and feeling means alot in future.Here is my private e-mail address you can contact me with it.I am waiting for your mail to my e-mail address above and aslo, Remember the distance or colour does not matter but love,feeling,e-motions and sympathetic love matters alot in life.
Thanks,and i promise to be honest and to keep a very good relationship with you."

What goes on in their heads? I am very clear about what I am, services, rates, etc. Why contact a prostitute for this sort of thing?  ???


If I had a pound for every email I got with this kind of message, I'd no longer be in this job. In fact, I'd never look for work again. But admittedly, it does make a change from the usual TWs. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 30 May 2010, 02:35:20 am
How about this one?


 Hey cindy

great pics :-) your hot

Would love to arrange for meet with you and another girl off this site, do you do two girl? The girls xxxx on here. Would you arrange this? Or do you have a set girl who you would go with?

Let me know if your available. I'm thinking you too girls would look amazing together :-)

Ive heard of voluntary work but im not his goddamn unpaid secretary!
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 31 May 2010, 12:44:19 pm
Cindy, I get this loads. They want me to arrange a TS or a boy to watch them do what ever. I tell them, just how you contacted me, you can contact them and make the arrangements. I have enough on my f'ing plate without being some TW PA. Idiots!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 31 May 2010, 02:41:42 pm
This just in:
Hello,
 
My name is Deluded in BE/NL.
I'm 32years old white clean handsome good looking guy.
I came back from California to live, work as Project Manager in Belgium/Netherlands.
 
I do not have a lot of experience and willing to learn now. Only one women in the past.
I am looking for one GFE girl long-term partner for special meetings, 1-2 times per week.
Do you like without condoms clasic normal, anal, oral ?
Are you on birth control ?
 
What you can wear, lingerie, strings, outfits ?
Please answer questions and send pictures on s*********l.com.
 
Please let me know if you are interested and want to have nice meetings.
Hope to see you soon.
Thanks.
 
Kind regards !
Deluded in BE/NL

As suggestions on what to reply? :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 31 May 2010, 03:37:57 pm
Quote from: Violette on 31 May 2010, 02:41:42 pm
Are you on birth control ?

Yes, unfortunately my birth control comes with free included moron control, so I won't be able to meet up with any Internet weirdos for unprotected sex. Sorry!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bella86 on 31 May 2010, 05:01:08 pm
Having spent the past week Reading & laughing til I cried at this topic :) today am proud to have one of my own to share....

Hi

I am staying at the De Vere Belton Woods Hotel  and do so each month and am keen to bring an attractive and energetic young lady to my suite and the opportunity to teach her how to be a perfect mistress and to squirt is an ideal challenge.

The fee will be $450 per session wit

Can you send me a few appropriate photographs to show full what I shall be paying for.

You will need to be shaved.

If the pictures, and you, are good enough then I shall be happy to pay a suitable bonus  for the night girl. I am English, a gentleman in my mid forties and am energetic something I wish to have in a mistress,

The pictures should be excellent and show you nude, perhaps with toys.

Then I can send  a car to collect you.

If you are able to send suitable pictures soon we can arrange to have our first meal later today in my hotel.

Be quick!

Let me know.

Kind regards,



Be quick.... The cheeky sod ! When it clearly states I need 24 hours notice!
And I don't want to be picked up by your 'driver' when Ive never met you before ta v much  ::). Lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bella86 on 31 May 2010, 06:34:36 pm
And another..... My personal favourite this evening received via email...

'Yo Balla' ... Good start, spell my name wrong!
'if I book you to come to hotel who pays for the room is it me or you? And can you knock some off ur rate?'

hmmm. That'd be you. I'm guessing you can't afford it :p
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 31 May 2010, 06:52:08 pm
Quote from: Bella86 on 31 May 2010, 06:34:36 pm
And another..... My personal favourite this evening received via email...

'Yo Balla' ... Good start, spell my name wrong!
'if I book you to come to hotel who pays for the room is it me or you? And can you knock some off ur rate?'

hmmm. That'd be you. I'm guessing you can't afford it :p
The fact that someone would have the nerve to write this, does boggle the mind. This did indeed make me laugh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 31 May 2010, 07:29:01 pm
Quote from: Bella86 on 31 May 2010, 05:01:08 pm
Be quick.... The cheeky sod ! When it clearly states I need 24 hours notice!
And I don't want to be picked up by your 'driver' when Ive never met you before ta v much  ::). Lol

I giggled at how he demands you send him free hi-res naughty pictures at least THREE times in that email! Oh yes, I'll just pop down to the photog's studio with my toys and pay ?500 for a shoot + touchups and get those pictures to you immediately, shall I?! Pfft.

The "be quick" bit is a typical attempted scammer's line - like Offer Ends Soon! ;D I'm sure you're sooo terribly worried about missing out on such a weirdo-- I mean, nice guy!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 31 May 2010, 07:36:07 pm
Ok, now that I have promised you a pie in the sky booking, no money has been exchanged,  send me pictures with your legs spread so wide, I can see your tonsils. Spare me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bella86 on 31 May 2010, 08:25:04 pm
It gets better.... More from Mr shall you pay for the hotel or shall I. ...
' I'm sharing a room with my uncle so hope that's ok'
'bring some sexy underwear so I can buy it' ..... Lol I mean WTF?!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 01 June 2010, 03:45:55 am
Diary of a stressed out call boy:

Today: 1 actual booking, but 3 'close' serious sounding inquries. As in, sitting down and dissecting whether they were full of shit or not. Thats 4 different men I had to cater to, and only 1 actually booked.

Why cant I just have mother fuckers lined up...in the order they are recieved? I hate having to re-arrange my schedule and shit!  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bella86 on 01 June 2010, 09:11:11 am
Don't mean to hog this, but this one did make ne chuckle:

'good morning. Thanks for your email reply, but I'm afraid making an appointment with you is rather like making an appoitnment to see the queen. So I'll leave it thanks'

cheeky bugger! All I asked for were some info such as his name etc & advised him I had a driver for security! :p
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 01 June 2010, 02:38:02 pm
Quote from: Bella86 on 01 June 2010, 09:11:11 am
Don't mean to hog this, but this one did make ne chuckle:

'good morning. Thanks for your email reply, but I'm afraid making an appointment with you is rather like making an appoitnment to see the queen. So I'll leave it thanks'

cheeky bugger! All I asked for were some info such as his name etc & advised him I had a driver for security! :p

Isn't it wonderfully helpful when they kindly take the time to inform you that they are crotchety old wankers who probably don't wash properly and like to leave bitchy bad reviews should a girl dare to point out his BO? I mean, he's saving you the trouble of possibly going through all this by declining an appointment with you! What a nice man. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 01 June 2010, 06:24:46 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 01 June 2010, 02:38:02 pm
it wonderfully helpful when they kindly take the time to inform you that they are crotchety old wankers who probably don't wash properly and like to leave bitchy bad reviews should a girl dare to point out his BO? I mean, he's saving you the trouble of possibly going through all this by declining an appointment with you! What a nice man. ;D

I hate when people do that! Its like, don't insult me over something stupid to try and make me feel bad. You were never interested in the 1st place!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 07 June 2010, 02:29:59 am
Quote from: Bella86 on 31 May 2010, 05:01:08 pm
Having spent the past week Reading & laughing til I cried at this topic :) today am proud to have one of my own to share....

Hi

I am staying at the De Vere Belton Woods Hotel  and do so each month and am keen to bring an attractive and energetic young lady to my suite and the opportunity to teach her how to be a perfect mistress and to squirt is an ideal challenge.

The fee will be $450 per session wit

Can you send me a few appropriate photographs to show full what I shall be paying for.

You will need to be shaved.

If the pictures, and you, are good enough then I shall be happy to pay a suitable bonus  for the night girl. I am English, a gentleman in my mid forties and am energetic something I wish to have in a mistress,

The pictures should be excellent and show you nude, perhaps with toys.

Then I can send  a car to collect you.

If you are able to send suitable pictures soon we can arrange to have our first meal later today in my hotel.

Be quick!

Let me know.

Kind regards,



Be quick.... The cheeky sod ! When it clearly states I need 24 hours notice!
And I don't want to be picked up by your 'driver' when Ive never met you before ta v much  ::). Lol

If the pictures, and you, are good enough
That was the kicker for me! PSML.

Voicemail left 10 minutes ago in a slow slurring voice:

Hi ... call me .......... brurrarhh (or something like that) ... looked at you ........ on internet, like ... you look ok ..... call me.

Hey, that kind of flattery gets me going every time.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bella86 on 07 June 2010, 09:14:56 am
Haha 'call me.. You look... Ok'.    That tickled me! Flattery will get you, err, nowhere in this case.  ;D

I had a choice one yesterday that said, ' I don't know why you won't see me. I thought whores weren't fussy??'

I think you've answered your own question there matey!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bella86 on 08 June 2010, 03:04:52 pm
Nothing but TW today.... First a cancellation from one who 'had a cold'
Then a number of hagglers, 'I'd be willing to pay ?360 if your friend gets involved to...' and my personal favourite 'money is tight this month, how much for just a BJ...?50?More money can come next month :)'

Think I'm taking the rest of the day off!!! >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 08 June 2010, 03:22:21 pm
I had a great text today

hi Danie (cant even get my name right)

I want u 2 use me 4 cash. how bout I cum n u give me bj and ball busting. ill give ya ?50 now then put cash in ur bank weekly if you give me ur bank details

With an offer like that how could I refuse to give you my bank details, would you like my credit cards, house and car keys as well?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bella86 on 08 June 2010, 03:35:55 pm
Wow, a whole ?50 now?! How could you resist such a generous offer.....lol  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 08 June 2010, 04:52:28 pm
Today I had, " do I offer 15 min bookings in a secluded wood?"

What is the etiquette for such a booking? Do I bring the shotgun and spade or does the punter?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amber Sweetpetite on 08 June 2010, 05:27:19 pm
Quote from: Alessia on 26 April 2010, 06:51:48 pm
Quote from: Cherrylips on 26 April 2010, 11:31:34 am
Hi , how much would a 1 hour outcall with you watching me poo and pee on myself and us watching extreme illegal porn cost?
Thanks

 ::)


Urgh, I've had the same text twice!  :(

Yup I've had that one too!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amber Sweetpetite on 08 June 2010, 05:32:26 pm
Quote from: strawberry on 24 May 2010, 02:34:17 pm
Has anyone turned up to a booking where the guy has your website printed off, page for page?And refers to it word for word?

I've seen a few guys who have printed my pics off but not the text.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amber Sweetpetite on 08 June 2010, 05:36:53 pm
Just read this thread from start to finish. Flippin fantastic! I've had some weird and wonderful ones over the years I wished I'd saved them. One I can recall from a guy who said he was a dwarf and he wanted me to carry him around. Erm hello? I'm 7 stone and 5 feet tall  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 08 June 2010, 05:37:48 pm
Quote from: pandora on 08 June 2010, 04:52:28 pm
Do I bring the shotgun and spade or does the punter?

Lmao. You've made my day.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emelie on 08 June 2010, 09:41:49 pm
"Yeah, I know it's not a good idea to have sex without a condom, but what if we did it for just one minute? I won't come inside you. And how about you give it to me for ?50?"

I told the guy to have a nice day and hung up ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bella86 on 09 June 2010, 12:22:21 am
Quote from: Amber on 08 June 2010, 05:36:53 pm
Just read this thread from start to finish. Flippin fantastic! I've had some weird and wonderful ones over the years I wished I'd saved them. One I can recall from a guy who said he was a dwarf and he wanted me to carry him around. Erm hello? I'm 7 stone and 5 feet tall  ::)


Pmsl  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 09 June 2010, 08:33:04 am
Quote from: Amber on 08 June 2010, 05:32:26 pm
Quote from: strawberry on 24 May 2010, 02:34:17 pm
Has anyone turned up to a booking where the guy has your website printed off, page for page?And refers to it word for word?

I've seen a few guys who have printed my pics off but not the text.

Yeah and you AW profile blogs and all and then leaves it on the bed when he leaves. I have found this happens alot on tour and I refuse to see them next time I am down as I find it kind of freaky
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 09 June 2010, 12:00:27 pm
Had an interesting moron today:

Him: "Hiya how's u :)))"
Me: *ignores*
Him: "Hey u on AW initt:)))"
Me: "Yes do you want to book?"
Him: "well yeh but not now ... How much is it?"
Me: "All details are on my AW profile."
Him: "Lol :)) k r u the 22 year old or"
Me: "Text me when you know who you're talking to"
Him: "dint get ya ::)) lool u are uptight a bit lmao"
Me: "This is my work phone not a chat line, and I'm not going to give you lots of details you can find online"
Him: "oh lol :)) sorry my bad i found u now u look gorg ... Gotta admit awww u are amazing ... No wonder !!!"
Me: *ignores*
Him: "Ya there can we chat :))"
Me: *still ignores*
Him: "U there :)) xxxx"
Me: "This line is for bookings only, if you know when you want to see me you can make an appointment. I won't respond to other texts."
Him: "ok my bad :) can i get ya chat line by any chance plz xxxxx"
Me: "I don't do phone or text chat I offer personal service only"
Him: "Ok in ur service can we get dirty sex"

And then I got bored :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 09 June 2010, 12:59:31 pm
Not sure if this counts but it is bloody creepy

Guy books a duo today for 4pm. New to AW today so thought was probably a timewaster.

AT 12.40 he texts to say he is on the road I gave him and can he come in now or shall he sit outside and wait till 4pm. I asked what car he was in and then jumped in mine and drove to my incall place (only a few mins away) and low and behold the car was on the street with 3lads inside. :o :o
 All I can say is thankgod I dont give out real details to the property I use and always direct them to the pub up the road
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 09 June 2010, 01:39:55 pm
Quote from: Danielle_xx on 09 June 2010, 12:59:31 pm
Not sure if this counts but it is bloody creepy

Guy books a duo today for 4pm. New to AW today so thought was probably a timewaster.

AT 12.40 he texts to say he is on the road I gave him and can he come in now or shall he sit outside and wait till 4pm. I asked what car he was in and then jumped in mine and drove to my incall place (only a few mins away) and low and behold the car was on the street with 3lads inside. :o :o
 All I can say is thankgod I dont give out real details to the property I use and always direct them to the pub up the road


That is really scary. I'm glad your ok.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Blue on 09 June 2010, 03:40:16 pm
Quote from: Danielle_xx on 09 June 2010, 12:59:31 pm
Not sure if this counts but it is bloody creepy

Guy books a duo today for 4pm. New to AW today so thought was probably a timewaster.

AT 12.40 he texts to say he is on the road I gave him and can he come in now or shall he sit outside and wait till 4pm. I asked what car he was in and then jumped in mine and drove to my incall place (only a few mins away) and low and behold the car was on the street with 3lads inside. :o :o
 All I can say is thankgod I dont give out real details to the property I use and always direct them to the pub up the road

Thats really bad!  Just shows always worth spying on the client before opening the door!
I refused to see someone once because he was 40mins early and just sat in the car outside my house(he had visited before), I was just pulling up outside and he was just there in his car, I drove off and told him I thought it was out of order to do that (I was in a bad mood as it was ) Some people just don't think!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 10 June 2010, 06:21:20 am
This just in at 4:22 am!
Idiot: "Are u availeable in t morning baby."
Me: "What time?"
Idiot:" Bout 1. were are u."
Me: "If you want an appointment at 1, call me later in the morning. Preferably, after the sun has risen."

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 10 June 2010, 03:20:02 pm
LOL. That has" I just tripped over my own kebab on the way home and knocked the last bit of common sense out of me." written all over it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 10 June 2010, 04:13:16 pm
Quote from: cindy on 10 June 2010, 03:20:02 pm
LOL. That has" I just tripped over my own kebab on the way home and knocked the last bit of common sense out of me." written all over it.

Hahaha! ;D What a mental image.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 12 June 2010, 04:42:23 pm
I had a request for me to dress up in a Wonder Woman costume, I busted out laughing! I could help it.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 12 June 2010, 07:00:23 pm
Quote from: Violette on 12 June 2010, 04:42:23 pm
I had a request for me to dress up in a Wonder Woman costume, I busted out laughing! I could help it.  ::)
I think you would look ace as Wonder woman, but be sure not to waste it on "collapsing on  a doorstep near you man!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 25 June 2010, 02:34:23 pm
Check out the creamy misogynist centre with rich, politeness-flavour coating.

Quote
Hi,
 
I have been away from the UK for a year and return on Monday, where I will be staying at Gatwick airport overnight before flying on to [somewhere else].
 
I really would love to meet you and experience your treasures princess.
 
I'm clean and hygenic. I love french kissing and also I love giving oral if you are happy to receive (69 is always on offer)...smile
 
I have been in [a religiously conservative country] teaching English and have been celebate for a year, so I'm looking for that special lady to enjoy everything I have missed so much.
 
The problem is as follows: I want you to stay overnight because I want to enjoy you at night and also in the morning. However I cannot afford the fee for overnight and would need a "drastic discount".
 
I understand you're a business woman and appreciate your service 100%, but I must be honest with you from the start. I don't want either of our time wasted and understand if you decline to meet.
 
The bottom line is I can only afford to give you ?200 cash - in advance of course - and I will buy you dinner and breakfast. I will treat you with the utmost respect and even send you a picture of me if you so require. All I ask for in exchange is French kissing, touching, oral (both ways and 69) and intercourse (with protection of course) - this will be for the night and the morning.
 
Once again I understand if you decline as you are a business woman, but if you do accept I will jump for joy!!!...
 
Kindest regards,
 
D...

So, you want a full night of complete GFE-style sex with the woman of your choice, on demand and with no strings attached. Sure, who doesn't want that? I can see why you wouldn't consider compromising on your desires to come more in line with your means. Obviously it's worth asking the object of your desire if she's willing to compromise her own needs in order to give you everything you want. Hey, if you don't ask you'll never get, right?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 25 June 2010, 04:44:43 pm
I also like the way he kindly hinted ("celibate for a year") that you'll be getting no sleep. You'll literally be 69ing for 12 hours straight and he's probably one of those guys who REQUIRES that you enjoy yourself and sulks if you seem less than besotted. All for ?200 for the whole night. Don't know why I'm typing this, I'm sure you've already got in a taxi to go see this charming fellow, Anika! I'm writhing in a jealous fury. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 25 June 2010, 05:45:31 pm
What a cheeky bugger! "I will pay for dinner and breakfast." I could save the cab fare and have a pot noodle at home thanks.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 26 June 2010, 06:20:38 pm
I got this text today:

'will pay ?30 for any body off beautiful girl"

Should I send him some toenail clippings?  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ms Rubens on 26 June 2010, 11:08:15 pm
Quote from: April on 26 June 2010, 06:20:38 pm
I got this text today:

'will pay ?30 for any body off beautiful girl"

Should I send him some toenail clippings?  ;D

Gosh that sounds a bit creepy!  Is he looking for people to dig up fresh graves?   ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucy Chambers on 27 June 2010, 02:42:38 am
get this..

"Lucy, I am available sunday, please confirm you can do 8pm for half an hour?"

A) I am free at that time, would you like to book?"

"Yes."

6 hours later...I  want you to dress up, have you got sexy secretary?"

"yes. send a email, I will confirm"

"But i need to be sure. Have you got pinstripe trousers, boxy square toed heels and a white, preferably linen blouse?"

No. I gave up trousers when I gave up 9-5? I have a short pinstripe skirt, white blouse, seemed stockings and heels"

"Could you not buy them?"


Hello..?

You are not replying,,,i have located trousers for you. If you need the id tag it is primark stores id.."


Need I say more? :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 27 June 2010, 07:41:49 am
Oh im sure we all get those ones. Book a couple of days in advance and then text you 20 mins before the booking.
"Will you wear a nuns outfit with green suspenders?" WTF?! If he buys it no problem! They must think we will run out to a fancy dress shop and La Senza on a moments notice. Oh no, wait they dont think!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sammy s on 27 June 2010, 10:36:31 am
For god sake lol. Do men really think we have a fancy dress wardrobe bursting to the seams with every kind of costume possible?!

I had a client last week who WHEN HE ARRIVED asked if id mind slipping into a cowgirl outfit to ride him.
When I told him I didnt have such an outfit his reply was "oh I see... all other escorts have one." (In an extremely huffy voice)

ALL of them have a cowgirl outfit? Have you personally met with every escort in the world and checked?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cherrylips on 27 June 2010, 11:46:01 am
I had a client a while ago who wanted maids outfit.  Ok I thought and ordered one online.  I told him I didnt have one but had ordered one and hopefully it would arrive by the time we met.  It did.  Answered door in said outfit.  Said to client: "It just arrived this morning so that was good timing!"
Client:  "Oh I was just kidding about the outfit." 
WTF!!!   >:(   >:(    I dressed up like a fool and you were kidding???!!!

Few weeks ago different client.  "Bring a couple of outfits" 
Me:  I only have one - maid's outfit.
Him: Ok bring that.
Get to app.
Me: "Shall I change into outfit now?"
Him: "Nah its ok"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindy on 27 June 2010, 04:24:36 pm
My last two good reviews were written when I overslept and answered the door in my dressing gown anyway.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 27 June 2010, 04:59:31 pm
Quote from: Cherrylips on 27 June 2010, 11:46:01 am
I had a client a while ago who wanted maids outfit.  Ok I thought and ordered one online.  I told him I didnt have one but had ordered one and hopefully it would arrive by the time we met.  It did.  Answered door in said outfit.  Said to client: "It just arrived this morning so that was good timing!"
Client:  "Oh I was just kidding about the outfit." 
WTF!!!   >:(   >:(    I dressed up like a fool and you were kidding???!!!

Few weeks ago different client.  "Bring a couple of outfits" 
Me:  I only have one - maid's outfit.
Him: Ok bring that.
Get to app.
Me: "Shall I change into outfit now?"
Him: "Nah its ok"

I have distinct suspicions this is either a simple 'control' thing or case of client thinking he wants one thing, then changing his mind last minute.

Whilst a few really do have certain fetishes, quite a few do also have a very 'ingrained' idea of what 'is' sexy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 27 June 2010, 05:15:59 pm
Quote from: strawberry on 27 June 2010, 04:59:31 pm
Whilst a few really do have certain fetishes, quite a few do also have a very 'ingrained' idea of what 'is' sexy.

God, it's so common! Clients think they want something porny but actually find they can't ejaculate until we give in and do some intimate missionary, or lose their hard-on when I coquettishly ask if they'd like to come on my tits and can't get hard again until we get back to gentle kisses and stroking etc. I mean, of course, plenty of guys do know what they enjoy sexually and why and how, and they are brilliant clients as I find we both tend to end up very satisfied. But the ones who start hemming and hawing and could I do a little outfit change or put on a corset or do a sexy dance? Okay, but I think it's only going to show you how funny it looks having a woman (who is untrained like me) do a 'sexy' little dance for you and laughing is great but does not necessarily = orgasms!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 27 June 2010, 08:15:36 pm
I have seen it so many times, when I through the full on Violette experience at them, some poor men's dicks just shrink up and leave the building. They think they want the full on porn star experience, but even pop a vibrator in there and they start pulling the covers up and wanting to turn the lights off and make love, in missionary. I was tempted to ask one gent if he want me to lay there and pretend to be asleep, because overtime I moved it throw him off his stroke.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucy Chambers on 27 June 2010, 08:30:55 pm
Well, its sunday at 8.31 pm. And guess who's 8pm booking didn't come in? Bloody good thing I didn't dash off to primark, eh?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 29 June 2010, 11:41:54 pm
Just now, 11:30pm.

RING RING
Me: Hello.
Him: Hi, Anika, I saw you in the paper.
Me: You mean in a magazine?
Him: No on the internet.
Me: You saw me in a paper on the internet?
Him: Yes I saw your number mumble mumble.
Me: Sorry you're going to have to keep your mouth next to the microphone.
Him: I got your number and I wanted to find out when we could meet.
Me: Wait I still want to know how you found me in a paper on the internet.
Him: Sorry I just found you on the internet.
Me: So not in a paper?
Him: Yes it's just strange calling someone up like this I don't know what to say.
Me: Ok, I just have to ask because a lot of people call me from an ad in a magazine where I was listed without permission and they haven't read my website. So have you read my website?
Him: No I haven't read it.
Me: Ok well I suggest you go back and read it and then we'll all be happier.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Bond ;) on 30 June 2010, 03:48:05 am
Hehe this really is one of those threads where  I wish there was a 'LIKE' button as on Facebook. You guys have really made me chuckle.


I have some sploshing requests coming up soon, but I am too tired from laughing to tell you all just now. Just wanted to say thank you!!!!!


xxxx ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D still laughing  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D it's all sooooo true
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 30 June 2010, 08:55:40 am
Quote from: Anika Mae on 29 June 2010, 11:41:54 pm
Me: Wait I still want to know how you found me in a paper on the internet.

Bahahaha. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FayeBloore on 30 June 2010, 10:31:48 am
Wasn't quite sure i handled this one correctly but his request disturbed me and then his making out that i was the person with a problem after refusing to participate infuriated me!!! Dam my marketting ploy of polite courtesy at all times, this knob received a cussing!

Me: Did you have something in particular in mind?

Dickhead: What I had in mind I suppose was to play on your petite size and youthful looks by exploring the whole 'daddy' role play thing... is that something you'd be comfortable with?

I'm in Ireland for the next week or so then back in London... how about maybe in the meantime if we agreed a rate for some naughty phone chats, and if you had, say, Paypal, I could transfer some cash and call you to discuss some fantasies? I imagine you have a vivid and highly erotic imagination which I'd love to hear about

A slightly Put-out Me: As we're being straight with each other, I shall be completely honest regarding your requests;
Age-roleplays and Daddy daughter role-plays aren't things I'm quite comfortable with so unfortunately would not be very convincing for you. Also I don't use a work phone- I arrange all meets by email and living with family makes it difficult for me to find anytime to myself.
 
I appreciate your offer to set up an unchanging rate for calls etc so I can feel comfortable but I'd much prefer to stay within the boundaries of my previous work; emails and meets only. Sorry that I've had to turn down your offer, I hope that you can find a young lady to accommodate you better than I.

Dickhead: Hi - I'm a bit surprised to be honest; I'd have thought your looks and naughtiness would have meant you'd be quite experienced with men like the age / daddy stuff! Certainly you look about 14 in the school uniform type pic on Seeking Arrangement lol, so I assumed you were well-versed in all of that.

To be honest the whole role play thing isn't something I'm ever into - the most I like of that is perhaps during fucking, when you're getting close to cumming and you start to moan 'daddy, fuck me harder please!' etc... that does it for me big time lol; whereas the whole play acting thing doesn't really... perhaps if I@m fortunate enough to meet and play with you we could at least try that!

Irate Me: are enough clients requesting a more conventional service from me to allow myself to keep to what i enjoy. I've tryed alot of different scenarios and levels of involvement with the whole 'daddy' idea but none of which I've felt comfortable with, sorry.
 
Just thought I'd let you know, as i feel that you may have your heart set on me calling you daddy at some or any point which is something unfortunately i will not indulge in.

Hoity Toity Dickhead: Hm.... no worries, you're entitled to your prejudices of course - though I feel that for someone who appears to pride herself on her ability to provide pleasure, then mere utterance of a 2-syllable / 5 letter word during intercourse really shouldn't be beyond her skills or willingness to please...

Silly Me: Why do I find that I'm not surprised you would take some offence to my last correspondence and be rude in return. I simply told you that i would not be doing as you've requested, it's my choice- something you seem have no respect for no matter what i say. It's not a prejudice; me not agreeing to calling you daddy, it's a choice i made, because i tryed it before and know that i wasn't convincing because it made me feel uncomfortable. And rightly so! I've tryed to be polite but you're quite disillusioned if you think many women would feel comfortable with addressing a sexual partner as their father.
 
'Priding' myself on a capacity to give pleasure, does not just extend to physical pleasure although i wouldn't say it was 'pride' with which i feel the weight of my talents more simply; that I'm aware they're there and that i can use them.
 
You are an insulting disillusioned man, how dare you try and force your strange fantasy onto me and then when i politely refuse you, tell me I'm the one with the problem, what a load of shit.





I am now wondering to myself why i did not express the full extent of my feelings towards his disturbing request.

Faye x

P.s. This post is in no way meant to offend any working Ladies or Gentlemen who have indulged in this kind of role-play, as I said to the dickhead- i tryed it but found it rather creepy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 30 June 2010, 10:43:02 am
I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with how you handled it, though I would have just stopped responding after "looks and naughtiness". No good will come of corresponding with pushy arseholes (other than material for this thread).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FayeBloore on 30 June 2010, 10:53:18 am
This thread is what has kept me going whilst dealing with the mundane process of replying to emails in the same manner over and over........ praise the lard for comical time-wasters!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 30 June 2010, 12:26:58 pm
Faye, you handled it really well. I would have been really rude from the start, to be honest. I hate guys like that, I wonder if they have any idea how fucked up they are. The last guy that asked me for age play got a text back saying "You don't need a prostitute, you need a psychiatrist".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sammy s on 30 June 2010, 01:14:43 pm
hey,

i know you don't list "being filmed" on your "likes" but do you allow being filmed? (like on video)

Obviously you have no way of trusting me, but no one would *ever* see it (no internet uploads, no mates seeing it etc). i'm not the type that would go telling mates ive gone with an escort...

thx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 30 June 2010, 01:23:51 pm
Faye, you have my sympathies. I once had a regular client who seemed very ordinary in his sexual tastes. Standard stuff, although he seemed a bit sleazy at times. On the 10th booking (or something like that) he started talking about roleplay and 'daddy' stuff etc. I was uncomfortable with it and told him so and he backed off but after the booking kept going on and on that 'maybe we could do it next time' etc -  I never answered his calls/messages again. I think you handled it really well.

Last night - (well got them this morning when switched on phone!)

2.30am - 2 missed calls from number
3am - text from said number "I'll giv you 100 for a lapdance and a bj?"
3.30am - another missed call from same number
4am - "come on babe you not workin?"

erm....no.
 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FayeBloore on 30 June 2010, 01:36:33 pm
Well he hasn't replied yet so I think I may have hit a nerve lol  :)
Poor perverted dear ey?

Hi Krystal, I think I'll be opting for your way in future and hi to LouLou aswell.

x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 01 July 2010, 10:52:56 am
On Adultwork this morning:

'Hiya,

So like the title says I am a 28 year ago guy who is new to the area and have moved here for work, so at the moment I don't know anyone outside of work.

Now this may not be the ask to come but I thought I would give it a go anyway. Basically Im looking for someone to hang out with, maybe a bar, cinema so food I don't know, anything to get out of the house on these warm summer nights. Im not looking for any other service other than going out together.

I would like to know if you might be up for something like that, maybe even get something arranged for this Friday night? Cinema, popcorn and treats on me!!

Hope to hear from you soon'

Umm... so, I should cancel all of my friday night bookings so that I can get free popcorn?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 01 July 2010, 11:04:06 am
Quote from: April on 01 July 2010, 10:52:56 am
Umm... so, I should cancel all of my friday night bookings so that I can get free popcorn?  ::)

LOL! But don't you want a lovely friend who badgers you constantly for free sex and gropes you in the cinema? ;D

I had a guy yesterday who just wanted a date and he actually took up a whole hour of my time before telling me he wouldn't be paying because he didn't want sexual services, just a 'friend' or 'someone to go out for drinks with' - why the effing hell are they looking on Adultwork for SEX WORKERS?! These little boys just don't know what they want or how to get it. Time for another headdesk. Actually, this incident was too recent and I am still too cross - better not headdesk or I'll make a dent!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 01 July 2010, 11:37:20 am
Faye, why did you not hang up after the first sentence?  Why humour people you do not wish to meet?

I am probably over harsh but its my life and my time.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 01 July 2010, 12:06:45 pm
Quote from: pandora on 01 July 2010, 11:37:20 am
Faye, why did you not hang up after the first sentence?  Why humour people you do not wish to meet?

I am probably over harsh but its my life and my time.

I agree. I've usually got a pretty good idea within the first 20 seconds of a call whether I ever want to be in the same room with the caller, and if necessary I make my excuses and hang up - just save the number under 'No' or whatever and probem solved  :).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Richard on 01 July 2010, 05:19:30 pm
Faye, you certainly lived up to polite courtesy, but given the serious boundary pushing on his part, nothing you could say, short of "yes, daddy", would ever have been good enough. Some people do not deserve polite courtesy, because they do not return it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SnakeLady on 02 July 2010, 02:02:33 am
Quote from: amy on 01 July 2010, 12:06:45 pm
I agree. I've usually got a pretty good idea within the first 20 seconds of a call whether I ever want to be in the same room with the caller... <snip!>

Sounds like your Wank-O-Meter is finely tuned. Or is it Wanky-Dar? Ah, same old tools really.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FayeBloore on 02 July 2010, 10:59:28 am
It was his persistance that was key in annoying me and you're absolutely right Amy and Pandora, if he'd have phoned me i would have cut him off but he was emailing and was able to gradually irritate me over a time. x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 02 July 2010, 11:25:53 am
Don't know if this qualifies for this thread, but I saw a Reverse Booking on AW today for my area - want's a "regular girl to meet often" who "likes to drink alot" (when working?!) for.. wait for it.... 16 hour incall for ?150!!!! :o Oh yeah , I'm sure most escorts would love to do a 16 hour booking for around the same/similar to what most charge for 1 hour, just because you're a "really nice guy, easy to get on with" . If you were a really nice guy you would just book an hour if that's what you can afford instead of insulting us with an offer which works out at ?9 per hour!!!. :o My last job in a supermarket, they paid the nightshift more than that. grrrr. And 2 people placed a bid as well.  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SnakeLady on 02 July 2010, 02:42:26 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 02 July 2010, 11:25:53 am
If you were a really nice guy you would just book an hour if that's what you can afford instead of insulting us with an offer which works out at ?9 per hour!!!. :o My last job in a supermarket, they paid the nightshift more than that. grrrr. And 2 people placed a bid as well.  ???

This is why I don't advertise my new site with AdultW**k. Call me a snob but I no longer wish to associate with a directory which lists barebacking as a "service" and tolerates above mentioned behaviour.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucy Chambers on 03 July 2010, 07:53:41 pm
The latest



Hello Lucy

I am a artist and surfing the net,(as you do) came across your site. I don't know what it is about you, but there is something magic.

EDIT EDIT EDIT..too long and boring

I am thinking no payment, just the mutual joy of creating beautiful images for you and your punters to enjoy. My addt details are,,

I am going to buy a gun. Now. This minute.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 04 July 2010, 07:38:08 pm
Got this email

You look stunnning and your "CV" shows you would be a lot of fun to have around. Would you consider spending time with my pretty 38 year old transvestie submissive husband. Photos available.
Sue.

 - WTF? - Do you want to book or what?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 07 July 2010, 01:18:03 pm
Not strictly for this topic as he had already made the booking but i think its worth including all the same.

Client (near end of booking) 'You told me your real name the last time i saw you didnt you?'

Me 'No i never tell anyone my real name'

Client 'No you definately told me your real name'

Me 'Well if i had told you my real name you would now know what i was really called wouldnt you?'

Nice try though eh? ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Blue on 07 July 2010, 04:37:38 pm
" seen your add on punternet, can you tell me what your like and rates are as can't access website on phone"

describe myself and rates

"when are you free"

tell him when im free

"ok i will call you back then"

ok great thanks

"oh..before I go do you have a boyfriend"

no

"would you date clients"

no

"will you meet me for a coffee"

(by this stage i just wanted to get rid of him)

maybe...see how we get on

"I will call you next week to take you for a coffee"

ok then (I wont answer)

"can't wait speak soon"

bye!

Only put my add back on punternet last week!  I don't get that type of call from vivastreet!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 08 July 2010, 10:52:03 am
Quote from: cassie on 04 July 2010, 07:38:08 pm
You look stunnning and your "CV" shows you would be a lot of fun to have around. Would you consider spending time with my pretty 38 year old transvestie submissive husband. Photos available.
Sue.

Hmm I've had a transvestite called Sue sending me stupid texts and picture messages for the last few days... Really annoying.

I had a guy call me the other day. He asked if him and his wife could book myself and another male escort. Then he asked if my male friend wouldn't mind getting his wife pregnant! Surprisingly he hung up when I asked to speak to his wife  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: *amber* on 12 July 2010, 11:01:44 am
yay I got my own one now!!!

Quote
Subject: Hello nice girl who show a little her lovely breast
 
 

I'm going to travel to england with my biGirlfiend mid august. Do you do long booking as a sensual travel compagnion ie 24h, 3 days, 7 days? What are your price for plenty of fun?
We are looking for a good FFM3some whith a nice girl with plenty of kissing, licking and sucking. All expenses are for us.
Thank you nice girl
Kiss

 

Someone needs to tell him I am not a nice girl!

Kisses

Amber
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Blue on 12 July 2010, 02:29:54 pm
text "do you visit .... do you drive? tb"

"yes, i offer outcalls"

text "cud u kum and meet me and wud it be alrite if we stayed in ur car.tb"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 12 July 2010, 02:41:25 pm
Quote from: Blue on 12 July 2010, 02:29:54 pm
text "do you visit .... do you drive? tb"

"yes, i offer outcalls"

text "cud u kum and meet me and wud it be alrite if we stayed in ur car.tb"
This made me laugh. Some clients.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 12 July 2010, 03:46:00 pm
Quote from: Blue on 12 July 2010, 02:29:54 pm
text "do you visit .... do you drive? tb"

"yes, i offer outcalls"

text "cud u kum and meet me and wud it be alrite if we stayed in ur car.tb"

Love the way he puts 'tb' at the end, like me and my friends used to do... when we were in school, about fifteen years old, with our first Nokia phones (http://www.neohide.com/files/samsungz240/nokia-3310.jpg). Funnily enough we didn't think to bother any prostitutes. :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amalia on 12 July 2010, 04:39:25 pm
Quote from: *amber* on 12 July 2010, 11:01:44 am
yay I got my own one now!!!

Quote
Subject: Hello nice girl who show a little her lovely breast
 
 

I'm going to travel to england with my biGirlfiend mid august. Do you do long booking as a sensual travel compagnion ie 24h, 3 days, 7 days? What are your price for plenty of fun?
We are looking for a good FFM3some whith a nice girl with plenty of kissing, licking and sucking. All expenses are for us.
Thank you nice girl
Kiss

 

Someone needs to tell him I am not a nice girl!

Kisses

Amber


i've got the same message n my mail..... only saying who doesnt show her lovely breast.........

from a bloke named Nevada or so
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: *amber* on 12 July 2010, 05:44:04 pm
Awww and there was me thinking I am special  :'(

well my breasts are lovely so they needed showing!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amalia on 12 July 2010, 05:53:36 pm
big hug ......
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissHolly on 12 July 2010, 10:43:12 pm
Last night...1am

Client: Can I ask you a few questions?
Me: Of course
Client: What services do you provide?
Me: A lovely GFE, oral and sex with protection
Client: Protection? What is protection?
Me: A condom
Client: Are you shaved?
Me: I have a bikini wax and the rest is trimmed short
Client: So you are not shaved?
Me: No, I have a bikini wax and the rest is trimmed short
Client: I like it when girl is all shaved
Me: Well, I'm not all shaved so perhaps I'm not the girl for you
Client: Is it possible for you to shave before you come over?
Me: No
Client: Or you can shave when you get here
Me: No, I wouldn't feel comfortable with that, I prefer not to shave all my hair
Client: I have a machine
Me: No
Client: But it's brand new machine, very good one!

Argh, keep your horrid machine away from me you scary man! And as if I'd visit anyone who hasn't hard of protected sex!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 13 July 2010, 09:54:22 am
Quote from: MissHolly on 12 July 2010, 10:43:12 pm
Argh, keep your horrid machine away from me you scary man! And as if I'd visit anyone who hasn't hard of protected sex!

Aahahaha, I literally cackled aloud. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: css3456 on 13 July 2010, 12:37:45 pm
Miss Holly, you made me laugh out loud!

Just had my own ridiculous punter:

but i cant even get close to the amount you are asking for. but if you ever wanna go out with a handsome, polite and well educated young english guy (26!) then let me know.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 13 July 2010, 01:22:53 pm
Quote from: MissHolly on 12 July 2010, 10:43:12 pm
Last night...1am

Client: Can I ask you a few questions?
Me: Of course
Client: What services do you provide?
Me: A lovely GFE, oral and sex with protection
Client: Protection? What is protection?
Me: A condom
Client: Are you shaved?
Me: I have a bikini wax and the rest is trimmed short
Client: So you are not shaved?
Me: No, I have a bikini wax and the rest is trimmed short
Client: I like it when girl is all shaved
Me: Well, I'm not all shaved so perhaps I'm not the girl for you
Client: Is it possible for you to shave before you come over?
Me: No
Client: Or you can shave when you get here
Me: No, I wouldn't feel comfortable with that, I prefer not to shave all my hair
Client: I have a machine
Me: No
Client: But it's brand new machine, very good one!

Argh, keep your horrid machine away from me you scary man! And as if I'd visit anyone who hasn't hard of protected sex!

Why do you humour people for this many questions? I would have hung up at protection, lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 13 July 2010, 01:33:11 pm
Seems like they can't be pleased - I am fully shaved and keep getting texts and calls asking if I could 'grow it for a week or two' before we meet. Because I'm sure my regs who prefer me shaven would be SO pleased. I will never know why they can't just look for a lady who has what they want  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 14 July 2010, 12:41:50 am
Latest email:

hi, do you offer discount if this was to become a regular thing?
 
thanks


Erm...No comment
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emelie on 14 July 2010, 01:01:58 am
Quote from: cassie on 14 July 2010, 12:41:50 am
Latest email:

hi, do you offer discount if this was to become a regular thing?
 

A client I saw once later texted me asking if we could 'make a deal', if he saw me, say once a month. Ha!

It's always the guys, who I actually enjoy spending the booking with while hoping they will become a regular, who disappoint me with this stuff.

Other ones from this week:

A text: "Do u like spanking honey??"

An email: "Hello Amber..." (my name is not Amber)

A text: "Hi, I just made a booking with you for 9 pm, can you confim me by text..." (my phone had been off for several days when I got this)

A text: "Can I have an outcall tonight at xxx (guy gives his full address, also I don't do any outcalls)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 14 July 2010, 01:30:38 am
Quote from: Magnolia on 14 July 2010, 01:01:58 am
Quote from: cassie on 14 July 2010, 12:41:50 am
Latest email:

hi, do you offer discount if this was to become a regular thing?
 

A client I saw once later texted me asking if we could 'make a deal', if he saw me, say once a month. Ha!

It's always the guys, who I actually enjoy spending the booking with while hoping they will become a regular, who disappoint me with this stuff.

Other ones from this week:

A text: "Do u like spanking honey??"

An email: "Hello Amber..." (my name is not Amber)

A text: "Hi, I just made a booking with you for 9 pm, can you confim me by text..." (my phone had been off for several days when I got this)

A text: "Can I have an outcall tonight at xxx (guy gives his full address, also I don't do any outcalls)

Bad enough when a regular asks, but this was the very first contact from the client.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Blue on 14 July 2010, 02:01:21 pm
"Do you have sexy underwear?"

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 14 July 2010, 05:36:55 pm
This is the best I have ever had.
 
Idiot "can I have an hour duo booking with you for a guaranteed collagen replacement gel that costs ?150 a pot an you can have 2". "the science proves it penetrates the skin" " the gel is exclusive to us and is called Clayton shagal"
 This was immediatley followed by
"well will you"
then
"Please answer, if it doesnt work for you after a month I will come and pay you"

I politely explained that NO collogen gel will penetrate the skin unless it is hydolyzed collagen in which case the particles are so small they are immediately washed out via the lymphatic flow.

The idiot even sent me to the website which has NO scientific back up just loads of false claims that they cannot prove to be true.

I am now on text 25 as have been ignoring him but he just wont let up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucy Chambers on 14 July 2010, 05:48:32 pm
Quote from: Danielle_xx on 14 July 2010, 05:36:55 pm
This is the best I have ever had.
 
Idiot "can I have an hour duo booking with you for a guaranteed collagen replacement gel that costs ?150 a pot an you can have 2". "the science proves it penetrates the skin" " the gel is exclusive to us and is called Clayton shagal"
 This was immediatley followed by
"well will you"
then
"Please answer, if it doesnt work for you after a month I will come and pay you"

I politely explained that NO collogen gel will penetrate the skin unless it is hydolyzed collagen in which case the particles are so small they are immediately washed out via the lymphatic flow.

The idiot even sent me to the website which has NO scientific back up just loads of false claims that they cannot prove to be true.

I am now on text 25 as have been ignoring him but he just wont let up.

So now they want us to fuck for botox/oil of ulay? Golly, I would at least want some restalyn!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 14 July 2010, 06:00:36 pm
Quote from: Danielle_xx on 14 July 2010, 05:36:55 pm
I politely explained that NO collogen gel will penetrate the skin unless it is hydolyzed collagen in which case the particles are so small they are immediately washed out via the lymphatic flow.

I think I love you. ;D That guy has no idea who he's talking to!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 14 July 2010, 09:17:32 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 14 July 2010, 06:00:36 pm
Quote from: Danielle_xx on 14 July 2010, 05:36:55 pm
I politely explained that NO collogen gel will penetrate the skin unless it is hydolyzed collagen in which case the particles are so small they are immediately washed out via the lymphatic flow.

I think I love you. ;D That guy has no idea who he's talking to!

I know, even when I explained I know what I am talking about he was trying to fob me off ::)

Now if he had offered a full course of derma fillers, a face lift or new veneers then I may well have said yes ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 14 July 2010, 10:03:04 pm
Quote from: Danielle_xx on 14 July 2010, 05:36:55 pm
This is the best I have ever had.
 
Idiot "can I have an hour duo booking with you for a guaranteed collagen replacement gel that costs ?150 a pot an you can have 2". "the science proves it penetrates the skin" " the gel is exclusive to us and is called Clayton shagal"
 This was immediatley followed by
"well will you"
then
"Please answer, if it doesnt work for you after a month I will come and pay you"

I politely explained that NO collogen gel will penetrate the skin unless it is hydolyzed collagen in which case the particles are so small they are immediately washed out via the lymphatic flow.

The idiot even sent me to the website which has NO scientific back up just loads of false claims that they cannot prove to be true.

I am now on text 25 as have been ignoring him but he just wont let up.

That is truly priceless! What an idiot. Good girl.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amalia on 15 July 2010, 09:13:01 pm
client asks
if we meet sunday when is good for you??

i say any time

than he says most people on .... are rude, you are very very nice,

i say thanks, so do you want to book

client.. yes.
and than ask what kind of cocks do you like

i say i like them all :0)

clients says ow... and askw me how many ive had

than says, do you ever socialise with cliets

so i say, only if they pay me for it :0)

client say, haha real busines woman...

so i say do you want to book or not, if not bye

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Spangle on 16 July 2010, 02:44:12 pm
**Dear Melody,

I'm Karl, I'm 42 and told very attractive, I'm also very submissive and enjoy serving attractive and assertive ladies.

I'm a professional mobile car valeter and detailer from the Uxbridge area.

I have many years of experience Repairing car bumper scuffs, scratches and alloy wheel scuffs as well as cleaning, valeting and detailing cars.

I have also served ladies as a domestic cleaner and odd job man.

As I have this desire to serve and be exploited by a lady such as yourself I would like to offer my services to you totally free of charge.

This offer is not too good to be true I would like to fully valet your car as regularly as you would like and all I ask for in return is to be treated as your servant. Strange but true!

As I do obviously need to earn a living too, I would like to make this offer to just 1 or 2 ladies who would like a regular free of charge service.

I'm totally mobile and can provide services at your home or business.

So if you think you could use me now or in the future please feel free to call me anytime.

Mobile: 07*** 4** 3**

Best Regards

Karl x  **

Brilliant...Just Brilliant. I wonder if he'd wash my car in a gimp suit on request?

xx


[Edited to remove contact details]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 16 July 2010, 02:57:18 pm
Quote from: melodymoo on 16 July 2010, 02:44:12 pm
Brilliant...Just Brilliant. I wonder if he'd wash my car in a gimp suit on request?

He'd wash it, but then he'd probably ejaculate all over it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Blue on 16 July 2010, 03:51:15 pm
Quote
So now they want us to fuck for botox/oil of ulay? Golly, I would at least want some restalyn!

I had someone offer botox for a booking, I'm not even 25 yet!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Blue on 16 July 2010, 03:53:04 pm
Quote from: melodymoo on 16 July 2010, 02:44:12 pm
**Dear Melody,

I'm Karl, I'm 42 and told very attractive, I'm also very submissive and enjoy serving attractive and assertive ladies.

I'm a professional mobile car valeter and detailer from the Uxbridge area.

I have many years of experience Repairing car bumper scuffs, scratches and alloy wheel scuffs as well as cleaning, valeting and detailing cars.

I have also served ladies as a domestic cleaner and odd job man.

As I have this desire to serve and be exploited by a lady such as yourself I would like to offer my services to you totally free of charge.

This offer is not too good to be true I would like to fully valet your car as regularly as you would like and all I ask for in return is to be treated as your servant. Strange but true!

As I do obviously need to earn a living too, I would like to make this offer to just 1 or 2 ladies who would like a regular free of charge service.

I'm totally mobile and can provide services at your home or business.

So if you think you could use me now or in the future please feel free to call me anytime.

Mobile: 07*** 4** 3**

Best Regards

Karl x  **

Brilliant...Just Brilliant. I wonder if he'd wash my car in a gimp suit on request?

xx


If only he was in my area, I need my car doing !



[Edited to remove contact details]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Spangle on 16 July 2010, 04:13:37 pm
Well Blue he is fully mobile...x  ;) lol


p.s Sorry administators, will make sure I disguise the number next time   :-*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 16 July 2010, 06:38:10 pm
Quote from: melodymoo on 16 July 2010, 02:44:12 pm
This offer is not too good to be true

Haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 17 July 2010, 01:31:06 am
Quote from: Danielle_xx on 14 July 2010, 05:36:55 pm
This is the best I have ever had.
 
Idiot "can I have an hour duo booking with you for a guaranteed collagen replacement gel that costs ?150 a pot an you can have 2". "the science proves it penetrates the skin" " the gel is exclusive to us and is called Clayton shagal"
 This was immediatley followed by
"well will you"
then
"Please answer, if it doesnt work for you after a month I will come and pay you"

I politely explained that NO collogen gel will penetrate the skin unless it is hydolyzed collagen in which case the particles are so small they are immediately washed out via the lymphatic flow.

The idiot even sent me to the website which has NO scientific back up just loads of false claims that they cannot prove to be true.

I am now on text 25 as have been ignoring him but he just wont let up.

His name wasn?t Clayton by any chance?
Clayton shagal ? Am I the only one who noticed this? Shag gal? Snigger, or is it just me being juvenile?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 17 July 2010, 12:13:10 pm
Nope it is a real company that sells its product under the assumption that it really replaces lost collagen in your skin and then charges ?60 for a tiny tiny pot. Yes it will make your skin look fresher like any moisturiser but it will not do what it says on the label. Unfortunately only fillers or a facelift can make wrinkles disappear.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucy Chambers on 17 July 2010, 12:15:57 pm
Quote from: Blue on 16 July 2010, 03:53:04 pm
Quote from: melodymoo on 16 July 2010, 02:44:12 pm
**Dear Melody,

I'm Karl, I'm 42 and told very attractive, I'm also very submissive and enjoy serving attractive and assertive ladies.

I'm a professional mobile car valeter and detailer from the Uxbridge area.

I have many years of experience Repairing car bumper scuffs, scratches and alloy wheel scuffs as well as cleaning, valeting and detailing cars.

I have also served ladies as a domestic cleaner and odd job man.

As I have this desire to serve and be exploited by a lady such as yourself I would like to offer my services to you totally free of charge.

This offer is not too good to be true I would like to fully valet your car as regularly as you would like and all I ask for in return is to be treated as your servant. Strange but true!

As I do obviously need to earn a living too, I would like to make this offer to just 1 or 2 ladies who would like a regular free of charge service.

I'm totally mobile and can provide services at your home or business.

So if you think you could use me now or in the future please feel free to call me anytime.

Mobile: 07*** 4** 3**

Best Regards

Karl x  **

Brilliant...Just Brilliant. I wonder if he'd wash my car in a gimp suit on request?

xx


If only he was in my area, I need my car doing !



[Edited to remove contact details]

Damn. Those alloys could do with a buff!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Spangle on 18 July 2010, 11:07:07 pm
Yet another gem from AW. A irresistable offer from a true class act..

darling

i am looking for a open and fun female who can live in darlington (n-e uk) and work as live-in babysitter / au - pair

so what do you get:

1) rent free accomodation, food and 24 x 7 broadband
3) no monthly household bills for you
5) free weekends (2 days per week), free evenings everyday after 4pm
6) ?400 per month cash on top

what do i get:

1) discreet fun when my wife is not around / busy ..... lol
2) daytime care for our 2 small kids when we at office


i am 32 yrs old married man, gym fit and atheletic living with wife and 2 kids

if above sounds interesting then i give my number or else call you

please no time wasting if not of interest
kisses
 


What an offer eh? a month in box room, "discreet" fun, the pleasure of caring for 2 rugrats and mopping the bogs all for the equivalent of a 2 hour booking. Seriously?? Where do these plonker come up with this? Do you reckon anyone ever agrees to these sort of offers?

Ah well, keeps me amused..I'm easily pleased xx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucy Chambers on 18 July 2010, 11:39:24 pm
Hate to do this as I know you must be packing to go, but I had that three weeks ago. I was just wondering where I would put the kids while I serviced Daddy..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Spangle on 19 July 2010, 12:02:14 am
Aww Juicy Lucy! You've ruined it for me now..I thought I was "special" *SOB* teehee xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 19 July 2010, 12:13:02 am
Melody sorry sweetie but I had that one weeks ago too so did my touring buddy and our duo profile ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 19 July 2010, 10:50:24 am
I didn't! Don't I look like I'd be good with kids? :'(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Blue on 19 July 2010, 04:04:39 pm
Is this just me but

7 missed calls in 10minutes, really pisses me off, to the point that I wouldn't want to see that client?

leave a message, send a text, try in 5-10minutes but constantly calling?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 19 July 2010, 04:18:37 pm
Quote from: Blue on 19 July 2010, 04:04:39 pm
7 missed calls in 10minutes, really pisses me off, to the point that I wouldn't want to see that client?

It, um, probably does indicate a bit of dimness. Or it makes me imagine someone so furiously impatient that their head is turning tomato-coloured. ;D And overall, it's just silly. Calling someone once per minute never makes anything happen faster! If it's that urgent then they should've sent an email 24 hours earlier, tsk tsk.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 19 July 2010, 05:06:24 pm
Quote from: melodymoo on 18 July 2010, 11:07:07 pm
What an offer eh? a month in box room, "discreet" fun, the pleasure of caring for 2 rugrats and mopping the bogs all for the equivalent of a 2 hour booking. Seriously?? Where do these plonker come up with this? Do you reckon anyone ever agrees to these sort of offers?

That sounds like pure slavery, with the exception you're getting paid. Maybe an indentured servant. Just remember: If someone can concoct such an offer, no matter how ridiculous, there must be someone who's willing to take up on it. Sad but true....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 19 July 2010, 05:40:22 pm
Quote from: Blue on 19 July 2010, 04:04:39 pm
7 missed calls in 10minutes, really pisses me off, to the point that I wouldn't want to see that client

I hate it when they do that! I went to a two hour concert the other week, left my phone in the car. Checked my phone afterwards to find 52 missed calls from the same number! Creepy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucy Chambers on 20 July 2010, 08:44:37 am
Quote from: Anika Mae on 19 July 2010, 10:50:24 am
I didn't! Don't I look like I'd be good with kids? :'(

Well, if you fancy a duo for the same money we could have a sprog each..and top to tail in the box room. Bliss!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 20 July 2010, 09:02:10 am
Quote from: April on 19 July 2010, 05:40:22 pm
Quote from: Blue on 19 July 2010, 04:04:39 pm
7 missed calls in 10minutes, really pisses me off, to the point that I wouldn't want to see that client

I hate it when they do that! I went to a two hour concert the other week, left my phone in the car. Checked my phone afterwards to find 52 missed calls from the same number! Creepy.

Yes that always gives me the chills as well. Would you really want to see a client that obsessive anyway? He would be making you line all your clothers up in alphabetical order on the bedroom floor.

The ones who ring from several different phones really creep me out. You speak to them on one number and they seem wierd so you give them a wide berth. Then they ring again off a different mobile and then AGAIN off another different one.

Why would you need three mobiles? (unless you were and escort yourself of course ;D)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 20 July 2010, 10:51:12 am
Quote from: Simone on 20 July 2010, 09:02:10 am
Why would you need three mobiles? (unless you were and escort yourself of course ;D)

I guess they need them for freaking escorts out with! I had a recent stupid thing with a guy like that; he called and made an appointment for the next Thursday with a number already saved in my phone as M***. Then he started texting incessantly so I told him firmly to stop. Then he got really rude and told me to bugger off, so I didn't reply (since I agreed that I would indeed bugger off) and obviously cancelled his booking and blocked his number. Next thing I know, I get a really polite little text from another number saved as a different name asking whether he could move the Thursday booking from evening to lunchtime - and yes, it was the only booking I'd taken for that day so argh, this guy has presumably been badgering me from various numbers and names for ages but I'd gotten lazy about blocking and recording creeps' numbers since it's just easier to ignore them sometimes, especially when you have different jobs and stuff to be getting on with. So he got really close to actually being invited into my house to spend time alone and naked with me, despite clearly being an annoying twit at the very least. I was a bit shaken but god, I know you just can't let your guard down for even a second.

I noticed yesterday that the BEEP BEEP of my crappy work phone when it gets a text literally makes me sweaty with dread. :P They should make specific escort phones which allow you to set it to always refuse texts (with a standard response like 'Don't Text, You Numpty') unless from specified numbers (safety buddies, etc!) and loooads of space to store numbers that are blocked altogether, along with lengthy notes on the specific crazy methodologies of each blocked caller.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 20 July 2010, 05:16:12 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 20 July 2010, 10:51:12 am



 :P They should make specific escort phones which allow you to set it to always refuse texts (with a standard response like 'Don't Text, You Numpty') unless from specified numbers (safety buddies, etc!) and loooads of space to store numbers that are blocked altogether, along with lengthy notes on the specific crazy methodologies of each blocked caller.

I have the nokia 5800 and downloaded a programme call call filter. I save a number and description then just add it to the blocked list. Its great as I never know they have even tried phoning unless I check as it automatically blocks their number. It also blocks all witheld numbers too  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Blue on 20 July 2010, 06:09:28 pm

 
Message:
could you go into detail about what you offer, thanks

reply
Have you looked on my site?
http://www.*************.co.uk/services/

Thanks

Message:
yes i did! but give me more detail about protected penetration, what does that involve?

reply

Sex with a condom.

thanks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: *amber* on 20 July 2010, 06:20:41 pm
lmfao what was he expecting with 'protected penetration'? Crash helmet and knee pads?

Bless!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 20 July 2010, 07:13:32 pm
Quote from: Danielle_xx on 20 July 2010, 05:16:12 pm
I have the nokia 5800 and downloaded a programme call call filter. I save a number and description then just add it to the blocked list. Its great as I never know they have even tried phoning unless I check as it automatically blocks their number. It also blocks all witheld numbers too  ;D

Ooh, thanks for the recommendation! I was just browsing for a new work phone the other day and obviously the Carphone Warehouse etc don't advertise any phone features that might actually me useful to me. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Blue on 21 July 2010, 09:23:18 am
Quote from: EmilyJones on 20 July 2010, 07:13:32 pm
Quote from: Danielle_xx on 20 July 2010, 05:16:12 pm
I have the nokia 5800 and downloaded a programme call call filter. I save a number and description then just add it to the blocked list. Its great as I never know they have even tried phoning unless I check as it automatically blocks their number. It also blocks all witheld numbers too  ;D

Ooh, thanks for the recommendation! I was just browsing for a new work phone the other day and obviously the Carphone Warehouse etc don't advertise any phone features that might actually me useful to me. ;D

I have an android htc phone, with android I can have call filter the free version lets you automatically block withheld numbers and any other number you add to the block list, also have DGAway which automatically responds to calls / texts or both with a message that you pick so if you auto respond to texts with "sorry I don't reply to texts please call me..."
Hope this helps.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: *amber* on 24 July 2010, 11:30:41 am
Heres my latest one.

Quote
Hello,
Im 18 years old very inexperienced with a 7 and half inch cock
can you sort me out ? (; x

Sort him out with what exactly!!?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucy Chambers on 25 July 2010, 11:09:46 am
The latest- this one actually upset me though. (regular client, has asked me out and been told NO

Him: Lucy, can I see you on the 30th at 8.30 in Stroud?
Me: I'm sorry, could we make it the 31st? I have some family stuff that I need to do
Him: How about earlier, like 1pm.
Me: I am sorry, I cannot see you before the 31st.

3 hours later

Him: Well, I see I might as well call on the day then, it looks like it would get as much priority! Just to say though, if you lie you need a good memory. I didn't think you had any family. Mum deceased, (sorry) Dad deceased (sorry again) But hey, we all need time away from those we work and play with, no one is begrudging you that!


I actually cried when I read this.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 25 July 2010, 11:26:23 am
Wow.

If you don't need to hang onto him I'd consider cutting him loose. Say you realise he was being thoughtless and not deliberately hurtful, but it's better for you not to have that sort of thing in your life if you can help it.

(Then make yourself a hot chocolate and think about kicking him in the nads.)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cherrylips on 25 July 2010, 11:30:49 am
Grrr  >:(

I would never see him again - what a horrible manipulative twat saying that to you.  I do think he was being deliberately hurtful  just cos he can't get his own way.  xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucy Chambers on 25 July 2010, 11:40:09 am
I haven't replied yet, I am composing myself.

He started getting a bit odd a few weeks ago, he sent me a email saying that he thought it was 'love'. I put him right and explained, quite nicely, that I wasn't looking for a relationship as I had plans to travel, had been recently bereaved etc etc. This is the result. Thanks guys, but I think i'm going to go to bed for a bit and then delete his messages. I don't trust myself to reply.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 25 July 2010, 11:52:33 am
Quote from: Cherrylips on 25 July 2010, 11:30:49 am
I do think he was being deliberately hurtful  just cos he can't get his own way.

(Quite possibly. Actually yes, clearly. I just always feel better when I manage to be polite and reasonable when provoked, though it may be different for others.)

It didn't occur to me that he was responding to recent bereavement. That's just incredible and you're definitely best rid of him. At least he got his horrible side out in the open by email so you never have to see or speak to him again.

*Hugs* I hope you feel better after your rest.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 25 July 2010, 11:57:09 am
Oh Lucy, I am indeed sorry. I would from this point sever all ties with him! Do not respond to his email and do not answer his phones. He is a right bastard for going down that personal of a road. Hang in there.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 25 July 2010, 12:11:16 pm
Quote from: Violette on 25 July 2010, 11:57:09 am
Oh Lucy, I am indeed sorry. I would from this point sever all ties with him! Do not respond to his email and do not answer his phones. He is a right bastard for going down that personal of a road. Hang in there.

Ditto - what a nasty, manipulative prick  >:(. Block his emails and forget him - you don't need scumbags like that (and even if he hadn't pulled this delightful act, it sounds like he was well on his way down that 'difficult' road and you're better off getting rid now).

*sends Jaffa Cakes*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amber Sweetpetite on 25 July 2010, 01:04:49 pm
Quote from: amy on 25 July 2010, 12:11:16 pm
Quote from: Violette on 25 July 2010, 11:57:09 am
Oh Lucy, I am indeed sorry. I would from this point sever all ties with him! Do not respond to his email and do not answer his phones. He is a right bastard for going down that personal of a road. Hang in there.

Ditto - what a nasty, manipulative prick  >:(. Block his emails and forget him - you don't need scumbags like that (and even if he hadn't pulled this delightful act, it sounds like he was well on his way down that 'difficult' road and you're better off getting rid now).

*sends Jaffa Cakes*

Yeh sounds like a complete tosser.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amber Sweetpetite on 25 July 2010, 01:07:53 pm
Have a guy from AW wanting an hour incall when I'm in Glagow next month. He has no feedback. So ask him to complete a booking request which he does. Then starts the messages. First can you wear those red shoes. Me, yes no probs. Next can you bring basques and corsets. Ok yes no probs. Then can you wear glasses. Now I'm getting irritated. Ok yes no probs. Then can you wear diamante hoop earrings with diameter (such and such). So now I've decided to forget it so I posted back. Actually, I am allergic to cheap jewellery so if you can buy me some gold and diamond ones I would be happy to wear. He has just come back with "what carat?'.  ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cherrylips on 25 July 2010, 01:16:53 pm
Quote from: Anika Mae on 25 July 2010, 11:52:33 am

I just always feel better when I manage to be polite and reasonable when provoked, though it may be different for others.)

In certain circumstances perhaps.  However, if someone is provoking someone about their deceased parents then personally I don't feel that they deserve a polite and reasonable response.  Maybe its just me. *sigh*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 25 July 2010, 01:45:59 pm
Yeah, I think no contact is the best. When I first posted I didn't realise just how much of a prick he was being.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: *amber* on 25 July 2010, 05:47:39 pm
Lucy do you want me to send the boys around? What a see you next tuesday!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 26 July 2010, 01:26:20 am
sorry for the late response....  thank you for responding.....  please know i would like to set something up with you....   right now, i have to get oral an oral surgery.... but i have been home doing nothing for a week now and can't do anything oral for another week....  after that all should be well
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 26 July 2010, 02:28:28 pm
Oh Lucy  >:( >:( >:(

I wouldn't be able to remain composed - I'd send him an email telling him exactly what sort of man I thought he was and that I'd NEVER see him again. He may change his number though and try to see you again. In that case I would suggest looking out the window as every client arrives (I do this anyway) and if it is ever him, don't answer the door.

Hope you are feeling better after your sleep. I felt so angry on your behalf reading that.

I got this today from Vivastreet -

"Please email some pics of you in wool dresses and wear them for sessions . ?100 an hour" what????

and this text the other day

"Fancy an overnight? ?150" erm noooooooooo! Another couple of girls in the area got this tempting offer too!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucy Chambers on 26 July 2010, 07:04:30 pm
Thank you all...you guys are great by the way.

I am not going to say anything to him as I think I have a potential stalker. But I am going to send a carefully worded email in a few days when I know what to say, I am still really flipping annoyed at the moment and I want to make sure I nail him when I do email.

Again,

much appreciated..

Lucy x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 27 July 2010, 09:05:35 am
Quote from: Lucy Chambers on 26 July 2010, 07:04:30 pm
Thank you all...you guys are great by the way.

I am not going to say anything to him as I think I have a potential stalker. But I am going to send a carefully worded email in a few days when I know what to say, I am still really flipping annoyed at the moment and I want to make sure I nail him when I do email.

Again,

much appreciated..

Lucy x

If he tries to respond to the email though Lucy i really wouldn't answer. As others have said block him and be done. This job can be tough enough at the best of times without some horrid emotional leech like that sucking the life out of you. Horrid, odious man >:(

On a lighter note i had this phonecall yesterday, from a woman and quite frankly i would have expected better from another of our own fair sex.

Her: 'Me and my boyfriend would like to organise an hours outcall threesome at 8pm tomorrow night at 29 blah blah blah.

Me: Yes that will be fine i can make an outcall then no problem

Her: How much will it be?

Me: Well i charge my standard hours outcall rate with an extra ?70 for the fact i am seeing a couple so it will be ?200 altogether.

Her: Oh do you charge extra for a couple? i didn't realise, thought it would just be ?130. In that case it doesn't matter (then hangs up)

Now did she seriously think I'm going to do twice the work for no extra money? I mean i can understand a man making the assumption that i do this job for the sheer joy of getting up close and personal to his dangly bits but not a woman :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 27 July 2010, 09:41:33 am
Women can be just as guilty of not realising they're talking to A Person. At least she did ask.

(I do charge the same even though it's more work. But then no-one gets to book me for just an hour.)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 28 July 2010, 11:36:46 pm
Another one :

"I'm looking to book you as a treat for my birthday which was last week. I am into oral kissing and foodfun. I would like to bring some vegetables if i could. Can you tell me which is the biggest vegetable you could comfortably take?"

haaaaahaaaa! Got a laugh at that email  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 29 July 2010, 11:14:33 am
"Well, I'm not taking you."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 29 July 2010, 02:28:07 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 28 July 2010, 11:36:46 pm
Another one :

"I'm looking to book you as a treat for my birthday which was last week. I am into oral kissing and foodfun. I would like to bring some vegetables if i could. Can you tell me which is the biggest vegetable you could comfortably take?"

haaaaahaaaa! Got a laugh at that email  ;D

A pumpkin up the bum?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 29 July 2010, 09:36:19 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 29 July 2010, 02:28:07 pm
A pumpkin up the bum?!

LOL....Im always cracking up at your posts LOL. I guess that puts fisting to shame  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FayeBloore on 03 August 2010, 03:50:53 pm
Attention,

Permit me to solicit for your assistance to invest in your country. I have been searching for a advanced/developing country with economic and political stability to invest in. I wish you will be of a great assistance to me considering your position and statues in business. However, I will keep further detail personal till when I read from you. I wish my dream to invest in your country will be a successful one. I do expect to read from you as soon as possible.

Yours,

P****


Arggggh I simply do not understand some clients!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 03 August 2010, 03:59:28 pm
Quote from: FayeBloore on 03 August 2010, 03:50:53 pm
Attention,

Permit me to solicit for your assistance to invest in your country. I have been searching for a advanced/developing country with economic and political stability to invest in. I wish you will be of a great assistance to me considering your position and statues in business. However, I will keep further detail personal till when I read from you. I wish my dream to invest in your country will be a successful one. I do expect to read from you as soon as possible.

Yours,

P****


Arggggh I simply do not understand some clients!

I don't think (http://www.419eater.com/) that was a client. ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FayeBloore on 03 August 2010, 05:30:20 pm
Thank you Emily! I had a funny feeling it might be some kind of spam although I'm not very computer literate so didn't feel confident in making that assumption.

Although that link you've given me was fab! I'm going to torment his or her greedy arse whenever business is slow or I cannot bare to sift through the cack.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 06 August 2010, 07:00:15 pm
Voicemail on my work mobile this afternoon

'Hi Simone, my names Ed, i was wondering if you would do an outcall to Alnwick today? I appreciate its quite a distance (Alnwick is at least 90 minutes drive from my address) but i am wanting to book you for a whole hour'

Why thankyou kind sir for being so generous  as to offer me a full hour appointment for what would be a 3 hour round driving trip! especially as my minimun outcall booking time IS one hour ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 06 August 2010, 08:47:14 pm
Why not try specifying a minimum booking time for distances outside of your city? Or an additional fee per hour of travelling? :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 06 August 2010, 09:17:16 pm
Quote from: Alexa on 06 August 2010, 08:47:14 pm
Why not try specifying a minimum booking time for distances outside of your city? Or an additional fee per hour of travelling? :)

I do state travelling costs applicable for journies over 20 miles from my home. I dont mind going for the hour if they pay travelling costs. It was the 'im going to book you for a whole hour'  bit as if he was doing me a favour that made me smile ;D

Seeming as though its a vivastreet ad i dont suppose it would get read either way, ive got my rates right at the top of my advert as well but people always ring asking 'How much?'
Although i think thats got more to do with them hoping i will quote a lower price than  anything ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Blue on 18 August 2010, 01:41:44 pm
Repeat customers text.

"hi r u available at 4pm? txt bk want half hr, its adam had u b4."






Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 18 August 2010, 10:05:16 pm
"Hi, I assume you visit service stations"

Me- well I could if there is a hotel there.

"No, I have a big truck"

Me - Oh lovely, Do I  bring the bin bags and shovel or do you already have them in the back of your wagon?


Also:

"Me m8 said u was gd shag, wot u look like and wot u do?" 

And:

"Hi BBE, u do BB? tb asap"

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 18 August 2010, 10:12:49 pm
"Im finkin of cumin 2 fuck u 2mow, u swolow spunk?"

My reply, "I am thinking of blocking your number  as you are just far too high classed for me"

Number blocked.

Jeez where do these idiots come from
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lauralashes on 30 August 2010, 03:15:22 pm
Not the strangest of requests but this weekend a regular (well, sort of, he's seen me a couple of time) asked if I could accompany him to a wedding he's been invited to! I politely declined but can you imagine what it would be like when he introduces me to people!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Stephanies Secrets on 30 August 2010, 04:34:07 pm
When you call and ask if I'm available and where I'm based, and I tell you, "Yes, I'm available until such a time, and I have a flat near such a place!" this isn't a booking, it's an inquiry. A booking is when we agree on a certain time and I tell you more precisely where I am. A booking will get me off my arse and looking pretty, an inquiry, well, I might get off my arse and make myself a cup of tea.

So, when you call me, half an hour after making your inquiry, and tell me "I'm at such a place, where do I go now?" don't be surprised when you then have to wait around for me to get myself ready to meet you  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emelie on 30 August 2010, 06:50:58 pm
Quote from: Stephanies Secrets on 30 August 2010, 04:34:07 pm
When you call and ask if I'm available and where I'm based, and I tell you, "Yes, I'm available until such a time, and I have a flat near such a place!" this isn't a booking, it's an inquiry. A booking is when we agree on a certain time and I tell you more precisely where I am. A booking will get me off my arse and looking pretty, an inquiry, well, I might get off my arse and make myself a cup of tea.

So, when you call me, half an hour after making your inquiry, and tell me "I'm at such a place, where do I go now?" don't be surprised when you then have to wait around for me to get myself ready to meet you  ::)

I hate it when clients say "Okay, so you're at such and such place, well I'll give you a call when I'm there".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexxx on 31 August 2010, 08:55:48 am
I got a call on Sunday from a guy asking if I would be prepared to see him and his girlfriend. I said yes, but you need to ask your girlfriend to call me to discuss this herself.
Guess what? She didn't call.
A few hours later the same man calls again. When I answer he says: So, have you thought any more about the wrestling?
I ask what on earth he's talking about and he says his girlfriend is really turned on by wrestling with another lady. She's a tiny size 6 and wouldn't hurt you (how can she hurt me when she doesn't even exist, you freak) ....But she really gets off on wrestling with women. He can guarantee 2 x 2hour booking per month......(well that seals it, I'm that hard up I have to accept bookings from imaginary people)
I ask if they provide the jelly and paddling pool to wrestle in or should I?  ::)
He missed the sarcasm (what a surprise)
Again, I politely asked him to get his girlfriend to call me and hang up.
Can't wait for his next call. Honest  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 31 August 2010, 10:33:20 am
Quote from: Alexxx on 31 August 2010, 08:55:48 am
I got a call on Sunday from a guy asking if I would be prepared to see him and his girlfriend. I said yes, but you need to ask your girlfriend to call me to discuss this herself.
Guess what? She didn't call.
A few hours later the same man calls again. When I answer he says: So, have you thought any more about the wrestling?
I ask what on earth he's talking about and he says his girlfriend is really turned on by wrestling with another lady. She's a tiny size 6 and wouldn't hurt you (how can she hurt me when she doesn't even exist, you freak) ....But she really gets off on wrestling with women. He can guarantee 2 x 2hour booking per month......(well that seals it, I'm that hard up I have to accept bookings from imaginary people)
I ask if they provide the jelly and paddling pool to wrestle in or should I?  ::)
He missed the sarcasm (what a surprise)
Again, I politely asked him to get his girlfriend to call me and hang up.
Can't wait for his next call. Honest ;D



((sigh)) The lack of originality in his fantasy is nearly as depressing as his timewaster capability. Why not 'My girlfriend gets really turned on accompanying another lady down the inflatable slides at wet and wild water park?' Now that's a booking i really would consider turning up for ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: *amber* on 31 August 2010, 02:26:59 pm
Just had something simular. Guy calls saying that he is in town thursday and friday with the work receptionist for a dirty weekend and he is in charge of the entertainment. I shall await booking call from the girl with breath that is abated!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 31 August 2010, 03:02:32 pm
I finally have a good text to share! ;D

"Hi princess,i have this business plan which i believe may fetch u good money of like 4000pounds.pls call me if interested.thanks"

Now if anyone else tells me they got the same thing I will be HEARTBROKEN as it is clearly a very personalised message and he obviously cares about me very much because he calls me 'princess'. Also he wants to help me fetch "of like 4000pounds"!! I definitely want him to be my future business partner and, possibly, pimp. What good fortune. Look out for me on a street corner near you ASAP!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: *amber* on 31 August 2010, 03:12:30 pm
awwww isn't he a keeper!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amber Sweetpetite on 31 August 2010, 04:04:20 pm
This just in:

Hello Sexy,

  How are you doing today.. My name is Kelvin Smith, i am located in
France, i will be coming to u for my vacation on the 20th of September
2010. which i will be spending 2weeks and i will need a sexy lady to
suck my dick and hang my arms on her chest, can you bang me till i
forget my name? Are you nasty on bed? I will like to know how much you
charge per house or over night.  Can you accommodate or we should use
hotel? And do you accept check for payment ?

Kindly get back to me with the confirmation of this message if it has
been received by you.

Best Regard
Smith
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Blue on 01 September 2010, 10:34:27 am
Come on girls, own up, who does this ?

AW email

do you ever do any free days, like open days? i know a few girls do this to open up to new customers?? just wondered if you did this?? xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 01 September 2010, 10:49:07 am
Quote from: Blue on 01 September 2010, 10:34:27 am
Come on girls, own up, who does this ?

AW email

do you ever do any free days, like open days? i know a few girls do this to open up to new customers?? just wondered if you did this?? xxx

LOL! What, meet new clients?! What an outrageously outlandish idea. Or does he mean have a big day where you let anyone new come and fuck you for free? Like putting your full address on AW and leaving your front door wide open so all manner of gross specimens can wander right on in at their leisure? Gross!

Love the "I know a few girls do this" implying that you will be so overwhelmed with peer pressure that you'll immediately offer TWO open-for-murder days in order to compete. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: *amber* on 01 September 2010, 12:11:33 pm
Lol open days! Was he doing his UCAS application while browsing aw!!!??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 02 September 2010, 05:30:29 am
This gem: Gent calls for an outcall to middle of nowhere bumfuck, I give prices. I hear sharp intake of breath. Well the numpty had looked at my half hour incall rate, which is 100 pounds, and though that was the out call rate! Then instead of getting off the phone, he proceeded to say, "But I am offering you 100 pounds!" Well, I will spare you the whole conversation, but at the end of it he still couldn't understand why I wasn't willing to get up, take off my Primark monkey printed PJs, get glammed up, packed up and call a cab to drive to the hinterlands of nowhere to suck his cock for the amazing price of 100 quid!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kissxkate on 02 September 2010, 08:37:45 am
Driving towards Hereford yesterday where I already had a 3 hour booking lined up I get a text.

man: Hi are you free
me: no sorry I've got a booking.
man: can't you see me first?
me: No
man: Can't you stop on a layby and give me a quick suck off?
me: No!
man: Have I upset you.
man: I only want a blow job!
man: I'll give you ?40!
me: No
man: What about a hand job?

At this point I stop responding.

Don't you just luv em!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 02 September 2010, 08:42:38 am
Quote from: kissxkate on 02 September 2010, 08:37:45 am
man: I'll give you ?40!

It's pleasingly ironic that they do often text you these ridiculous things just when you're getting ready to see someone genuine, polite and clean who is going to give you about ?(timewaster's offer)x10! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kissxkate on 02 September 2010, 08:49:46 am
I have to admit, my humour was much lighter than normal on this occassion, knowing that I had a decent booking ahead. 

I think sometimes they imagine we can't really get the rates we ask for, so assume that they are doing us a favour in offering lame amounts.  I've told that guy a million times I don't do 'quickies', I personally don't like them, it is too sterile etc.  He just doesn't understand.  I am adding him to the 'don't answer' list.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 02 September 2010, 08:54:01 am
Quote from: kissxkate on 02 September 2010, 08:49:46 am
I have to admit, my humour was much lighter than normal on this occassion, knowing that I had a decent booking ahead. 

I think sometimes they imagine we can't really get the rates we ask for, so assume that they are doing us a favour in offering lame amounts.  I've told that guy a million times I don't do 'quickies', I personally don't like them, it is too sterile etc.  He just doesn't understand.  I am adding him to the 'don't answer' list.

Good! And yes, the Don't Answer List is the safest place for these tossers, best not to answer them. Now that I've got a half-decent work phone it's easy to see how many guys text more drivel literally every day or every other day - I'm astounded at how many times they text despite no response whatsoever! "r u available" "can i fuk u today" "r u free now" blah blah blah... All from the same boring git! I actually got an Android phone and paid a few quid for a proper call- and text-blocking app (mentioned elsewhere on the forum if you fancy a search) so I can remove these annoyances from my life. ;D Definitely recommended!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amber Sweetpetite on 02 September 2010, 09:00:38 am
Quote from: EmilyJones on 02 September 2010, 08:54:01 am
Quote from: kissxkate on 02 September 2010, 08:49:46 am
I have to admit, my humour was much lighter than normal on this occassion, knowing that I had a decent booking ahead. 

I think sometimes they imagine we can't really get the rates we ask for, so assume that they are doing us a favour in offering lame amounts.  I've told that guy a million times I don't do 'quickies', I personally don't like them, it is too sterile etc.  He just doesn't understand.  I am adding him to the 'don't answer' list.

Good! And yes, the Don't Answer List is the safest place for these tossers, best not to answer them. Now that I've got a half-decent work phone it's easy to see how many guys text more drivel literally every day or every other day - I'm astounded at how many times they text despite no response whatsoever! "r u available" "can i fuk u today" "r u free now" blah blah blah... All from the same boring git! I actually got an Android phone and paid a few quid for a proper call- and text-blocking app (mentioned elsewhere on the forum if you fancy a search) so I can remove these annoyances from my life. ;D Definitely recommended!

I've recently lost all my saved numbers so back to square one answering the numpties  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 02 September 2010, 09:16:24 am
Im unable to offer incalls at the moment and im available for outcalls only so have placed a message imparting that information to my clients on my voicemail.
Switch phone on this morning, voicemail from 8pm yesterday. 'Hi Simone its Tony (who to be fair is a regular client) i was wondering if your free for an incall on Thursday at around 12noon?'

Clearly i have missed the bit i put into that voicemail that says 'I am unable to offer incalls unless you are  regular client in which case i will magic a hotel room up out of thin air asap' ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 02 September 2010, 09:26:47 am
They don't listen and they don't read!!! I asked one guy the other day, "Did you read my profile?" "Awww, no." I respond, "It isn't there for decoration, go and read it then if the questions you have haven't been answered, then call me back."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 02 September 2010, 12:02:45 pm
Quote from: Amber Sweetpetite on 31 August 2010, 04:04:20 pm
This just in:

Hello Sexy,

  How are you doing today.. My name is Kelvin Smith, i am located in
France, i will be coming to u for my vacation on the 20th of September
2010. which i will be spending 2weeks and i will need a sexy lady to
suck my dick and hang my arms on her chest, can you bang me till i
forget my name? Are you nasty on bed? I will like to know how much you
charge per house or over night.  Can you accommodate or we should use
hotel? And do you accept check for payment ?

Kindly get back to me with the confirmation of this message if it has
been received by you.

Best Regard
Smith

Is that the name he sent you? Because I have exactly that with a different name, which would be pretty ridiculous of him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 02 September 2010, 04:35:15 pm
I finally have one to add to the list!

Phonecall today (Bare in mind on my profile it says in big, bold letters that I can only offer incall in Chelmsford and it mentions everywhere else I can travel to for outcalls):

Him: Hey, I was wondering if I could come to you for an hour's incall booking today at XX.
Me: Yes, that's fine. You're in luck, I'm actually on my way to Chelmsford now.
Him: Chelmsford?
Me: Yes, that's where my incall place is.
Him: But your profile says XXX.
Me: That's where I live and do outcalls to.
Him: But can't you do an incall there instead?
Me: Not unless you want to come to my parent's house and greet my dad. (says in a joking voice.)
Him: *pause*. Would that be okay?
Me: (trying to figure out if he's being serious.) No. My profile says only incalls in Chelmsford...

 ::) I don't know. Some people just amuse me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amber Sweetpetite on 03 September 2010, 08:06:29 am
Quote from: Anika Mae on 02 September 2010, 12:02:45 pm
Quote from: Amber Sweetpetite on 31 August 2010, 04:04:20 pm
This just in:

Hello Sexy,

  How are you doing today.. My name is Kelvin Smith, i am located in
France, i will be coming to u for my vacation on the 20th of September
2010. which i will be spending 2weeks and i will need a sexy lady to
suck my dick and hang my arms on her chest, can you bang me till i
forget my name? Are you nasty on bed? I will like to know how much you
charge per house or over night.  Can you accommodate or we should use
hotel? And do you accept check for payment ?

Kindly get back to me with the confirmation of this message if it has
been received by you.

Best Regard
Smith

Is that the name he sent you? Because I have exactly that with a different name, which would be pretty ridiculous of him.

Yeh that was the name I got.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 03 September 2010, 07:04:39 pm
Ooooh! I've got one. And I never get them, hardly.

Received via guess-where:
    
Quote
hi i have just seen your profile and i think you are a very sexy person
if you are free on monday i would like to pay you for sex
i am willing to offer ?50 for 1 hour of passion (maybe more if you are any good!)
i think you should meet me because i am a very hot sexy attractive man and i am very good at having sex (my previous partners have described me as a 'sex lord') so you can see it would be worth it.
really my dick is nice and big and i know you will love it. trust me you will probably enjoy the sex even more than me!
so if its ok with you i will book you on monday so you can have the best sex of your life and also get paid for it!
i look forward to meeting you
peter xxx

Hold me back  ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 03 September 2010, 09:45:42 pm
Quote from: amy on 03 September 2010, 07:04:39 pm
Ooooh! I've got one. And I never get them, hardly.

Received via guess-where:
    
Quote
hi i have just seen your profile and i think you are a very sexy person
if you are free on monday i would like to pay you for sex
i am willing to offer ?50 for 1 hour of passion (maybe more if you are any good!)
i think you should meet me because i am a very hot sexy attractive man and i am very good at having sex (my previous partners have described me as a 'sex lord') so you can see it would be worth it.
really my dick is nice and big and i know you will love it. trust me you will probably enjoy the sex even more than me!
so if its ok with you i will book you on monday so you can have the best sex of your life and also get paid for it!
i look forward to meeting you
peter xxx

Hold me back  ;D.

My only response to that is:
 

;D HAHAHAHAHAHAA

Shut Up Fool!!

Again HAHAHAHHAHAA...

Ok I'm done!

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 04 September 2010, 01:58:59 pm
Oh Amy, that email was HILARIOUS!!!!!  ;D

Spat out my tea at the laptop!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 04 September 2010, 04:49:27 pm
That has got to be the funniest thing I have heard in a long time.
hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kiriad on 05 September 2010, 10:35:25 am
I'm in fits of giggles here at some of these stories  and I'm not even half way through reading  yet lol ;D

The weirdest potential booking enquiry I have had to date was from a very odd guy who mailed to ask if I would consider an unusual request.  I continued reading, not sure what to expect and nearly spat my coffee all over my laptop as he described his ummm kink lol.  He only wanted me to don a pair of killer heels and spend an hour walking up and down trampling on woodlice and other tiny insects whilst he took photos!  :o  Killer heels being the operative word indeed!  Just checked for the original mail but unsurprisingly his profile is no longer active  ::)  


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fawn27 on 07 September 2010, 03:54:03 am
Bwahahaha "sex lord" that almost made me pee myself!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: beautifulbrunette10 on 07 September 2010, 06:28:56 am
would you be free for a meet next week about For half an hour-hour

Also I would prefer if you had a strapon & were the dominant type, please specify if you have a strapon & you are dominant before our meet.

My other fetishes include, foot worship, face sitting, prostate massage, wearing used panties/socks/bra, eating own cum, drinking your saliva, eating your used chewing gum, worshiping your arse (rimming), fucking a blow up doll/ fake vagina,over the knee mild hand spanking & very light financial domination.

Also could we take photos for your profile pvt gallery & video part of our meet together while you strapon fuck me?
I would always buy them as I would do anything for my Mistress :-)

Please let me know what you think of my fetishes & ones your interested in & il do anything to cater for you Mistress.

I look forward to your reply.


Thanks, love your slave x x x


AND HE WANTS TO DO ALL OF THIS IN 30 MINS? PMSL NEEDLESS TO SAY I DECLINED HIS INVITATION.

Sam Xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 07 September 2010, 07:24:38 am
Quote from: beautifulbrunette10 on 07 September 2010, 06:28:56 am
would you be free for a meet next week about For half an hour-hour

Also I would prefer if you had a strapon & were the dominant type, please specify if you have a strapon & you are dominant before our meet.

My other fetishes include, foot worship, face sitting, prostate massage, wearing used panties/socks/bra, eating own cum, drinking your saliva, eating your used chewing gum, worshiping your arse (rimming), fucking a blow up doll/ fake vagina,over the knee mild hand spanking & very light financial domination.

Also could we take photos for your profile pvt gallery & video part of our meet together while you strapon fuck me?
I would always buy them as I would do anything for my Mistress :-)

Please let me know what you think of my fetishes & ones your interested in & il do anything to cater for you Mistress.

I look forward to your reply.


Thanks, love your slave x x x


AND HE WANTS TO DO ALL OF THIS IN 30 MINS? PMSL NEEDLESS TO SAY I DECLINED HIS INVITATION.

Sam Xxx

Being the sarcastic moo I am, I would have asked, "Is there anything else you would like?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Melanie Minx on 08 September 2010, 11:48:50 pm
I received this email tonight 'hello me and my mum are going down near you soon and it is her bday she is gonna be 47 and she is single my dad left 5 years ago and she needs some fun she has never been with a woman. Before and wants to try it we are close and don't hide anything from each other I'll pay for it xxx'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: M on 09 September 2010, 08:00:10 am
One jerk told me "I can see the dollar signs in your eyes". Charming mofo. So I suppose I'm to have sex for free to prove I'm not some gold digger - ya right friend I know that headgame well so nice try but no dice. Like all he wants is to sip sodas and play pinochle together, nothing more. If I'm a gold digger then he's a 'sex digger' methinks. Was tempted to respond -'I may be digging for gold but are you not trawling for sex, my friend?' don't bother contacting someone who is clear about paid sex if that's not what you want mister

This other individual inquired if I did anal. I told him no. He responded "why not? anal is nothing". Not only was I irked by his pushiness, but his insensitivity - ya I'm sure anal is nothing when he's NOT the one who'll be getting it up the rear. If and when I ever am amenable to getting my anal cherry popped it would only be if it's for a ridiculous figure forthcoming and not par for the course or just some extra amount.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 09 September 2010, 08:21:42 am
Quote from: **Kelly** on 08 September 2010, 11:48:50 pm
I received this email tonight 'hello me and my mum are going down near you soon and it is her bday she is gonna be 47 and she is single my dad left 5 years ago and she needs some fun she has never been with a woman. Before and wants to try it we are close and don't hide anything from each other I'll pay for it xxx'

Good lord! That's a new one to me. But still horrifying. Great. ;D

Quote from: Midori on 09 September 2010, 08:00:10 am
"I can see the dollar signs in your eyes".

Quote from: Midori on 09 September 2010, 08:00:10 am
"why not? anal is nothing".

These guys sound like your typical Class A Morons, Midori. :( You shouldn't have to even be reading that sort of nonsense! I know your options are limited in the US, and I could kick the people in charge there for purposefully making things shitty for hard-working people who are just trying to make a living, but anyway - are there different places you could advertise? I've been seeing a lot of discussion between US sex workers about classified ad sites vs. the expensive ad sites and it's been mixed views but interesting stuff. It all seems pretty classist and frankly, I think all the options have at least one ridiculous downside, but in practical terms, there are at least different options to try out. You probably know more about them than me so sorry if that was all moot! But it just struck me that I never receive messages like the ones you got (though I'll probably get trolled any minute now I've jinxed myself ;D) and I don't see why anyone should!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 09 September 2010, 09:42:59 am
Text on my phone this morning

'Hi, im just wondering what sort of outcalls you offer'

How many types of outcalls are there??
2 minutes later, same number

'For example do you offer car meets?'

Ahhhhhh now i see. ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 09 September 2010, 05:50:57 pm
Quote from: **Kelly** on 08 September 2010, 11:48:50 pm
I received this email tonight 'hello me and my mum are going down near you soon and it is her bday she is gonna be 47 and she is single my dad left 5 years ago and she needs some fun she has never been with a woman. Before and wants to try it we are close and don't hide anything from each other I'll pay for it xxx'
I got the same one!  ::) AW?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 09 September 2010, 06:45:24 pm
Quote from: Violette on 09 September 2010, 05:50:57 pm
Quote from: **Kelly** on 08 September 2010, 11:48:50 pm
I received this email tonight 'hello me and my mum are going down near you soon and it is her bday she is gonna be 47 and she is single my dad left 5 years ago and she needs some fun she has never been with a woman. Before and wants to try it we are close and don't hide anything from each other I'll pay for it xxx'
I got the same one!  ::) AW?

SNAP.....Now I wonder why none of us jumped at the offer  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Melanie Minx on 09 September 2010, 10:15:29 pm
Violette & Danielle, yep it was of AW and when I was reading how close that mummy and son are I thought he was going to say that he would like to watch. X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amalia on 09 September 2010, 10:18:48 pm
I've got a nice one in my email inbox today....


It's my party love...well not really, but seeing as how my birthday is this week wanted to say hey and wish you were here with me so i can unwrap and play with my new and best toy...cheers sexy...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 09 September 2010, 10:21:00 pm
Phone call late at night "Give me your address and post code". That's it, repeat a couple of times.  ::) :'(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jezebeldays on 10 September 2010, 11:32:58 am
I got an email yesterday asking for a two hour booking to go 'dogging' with him!. This is appauling in its self but made worse by the fact I escort in jersey a nine by five island were everyone knows eachother, and I've survived as an escort only by being careful and discrete.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 11 September 2010, 03:42:31 am
When I quoted my rate of 140 to a client I got:

"for all night"

I replied:

"if you want something cheaper better go to the downtown strip"

Obviously, he wasn't serious and called me stupid LOL. It made me laugh though.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 12 September 2010, 09:30:06 am
Got this charming email this morning:

"hello hun
i m in my early 30, professionally employed man living in london (sutton)
if u r looking for a place to live in london or simply looking to save on huge london rental and monthly bills then we can be of help to each other
u can live - in with me absolutely free in my london flat. u will have ur own space
this will be in exchange for some ocassional, safe, enjoyable fun with me
let me know if this sounds ok and we can discuss ahead
kisses"

Wow, what a deal. *sighs* Clearly hasn't picked up on the fact that I'm based in Edinburgh.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kimba on 13 September 2010, 03:45:16 am
Email via Vivastreet;  Hi, I'm an 18yr old guy and I'm wondering how much do you charge, if anything, for your massage services?
It was the *if anything* that got me! Did he think I just travel the length and breadth of the north west  as an act of goodwill to all men ? Or was he hoping that his status as a nubile teen would be enough of a persuasion ?!  :D
" Hold on Sonny Jim, let me just pack my bubblegum flavour lube and I'll be right with you lad!  ";D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 13 September 2010, 10:28:09 am
Quote from: kimba on 13 September 2010, 03:45:16 am
Email via Vivastreet;  Hi, I'm an 18yr old guy and I'm wondering how much do you charge, if anything, for your massage services?
It was the *if anything* that got me! Did he think I just travel the length and breadth of the north West as an act of goodwill to all men ? Or was he hoping that his status as a nubile teen would be enough of a persuasion ?!  :D
" Hold on Sonny Jim, let me just pack my bubblegum flavour lube and I'll be right with you lad!  ";D

Its a very personal gripe but i hate it when callers use the term 'massage service' Ive had it a few times and I'm always itching to reply 'No i don't offer a massage service, I'm an escort and i offer escort services'
I usually find if guys who have said that book me that they've said 'Massage services' as they are under the impression that paying for sex is illegal. It always amazes me how many men come to see escorts but they don't know any of the legalities. It must be a man thing, if it was the other way round and we ladies were the clients we would be coming to the booking with a up to date copy of the legislation under our arm probably ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 13 September 2010, 10:57:31 am
Quote from: Simone on 13 September 2010, 10:28:09 am
I usually find if guys who have said that book me that they've said 'Massage services' as they are under the impression that paying for sex is illegal. It always amazes me how many men come to see escorts but they don't know any of the legalities.

I've found this once or twice, too! I've casually mentioned something or other, and they've been like, "Oh, but all this naughty illegal stuff tee hee!" and I informed them that, as a punter, they can pretty much offer money for sex to whoever they like and the police aren't going to give a flying monkey. I hope though that they aren't really disappointed by that! Some people like to think they're doing something dramatic and daring, even if they're not. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 13 September 2010, 08:00:57 pm
Got this earlier tonight:

Hi Faith

Sorry for the late notice request, but one of my regular girls has just had to cancel on me, she had a car crash, she is ok but not able to make tonight!

She was doing an overnight at the holiday Inn Express @ chapel bar For ?400 from 8-8, can you rescue me from a lonely night?

Jase

PS your pics look lovely


Urm Sorry Jase I'm going to have to politely decline your offer, anyone else fancy an overnight ?33.30 an hour?

Idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 13 September 2010, 11:20:41 pm
A conversation by SMS yesterday.

Hello anika, i met you on so long ago in brighton and you gave me your number. Are you free anytime? Would be lovely to see you again. X x

-I'm around most of next week but hate texts.-

Sorry. The speaker on my phones broke. Will be getting new one next week from brighton so i could call you when i'm there. We got on really well last time would love to just go out with you as friends. I could treat you to a night out. A lovely meal than a film? I'm flat broke and just carn't before ve rates. Would be lovely to see you again though. X

-No idea who you are so not at all tempted to give you loads of free time. Sorry.-

Ok. Its fine can understand. No harm in special rates once. :-). Let me know if you like. Like i said would be nice to see you.


Well hey, X. If you'd like to see me again and want to spend your meagre savings on dinner and a movie then that has to be worth taking a night off work for, whoever the hell you are.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 14 September 2010, 07:27:08 am
Quote from: sexy_faith on 13 September 2010, 08:00:57 pm
She was doing an overnight at the holiday Inn Express @ chapel bar For ?400 from 8-8, can you rescue me from a lonely night?
anyone else fancy an overnight ?33.30 an hour?

What a cheeker fucker...

Damn, the guys out there are clever. I get hagglers, but very rare is there a story attached to it LOL....But Im sure that other bitch did get into a car crash...when he told her he only had $400  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 14 September 2010, 07:40:25 am
Quote from: American Joey on 14 September 2010, 07:27:08 am
Damn, the guys out there are clever. I get hagglers, but very rare is there a story attached to it LOL....But Im sure that other bitch did get into a car crash...when he told her he only had $400  :D

I feel bad but I did cackle at that. ;D It was a very cute attempt at manipulation, wasn't it, though?! Implying he's got a regular girl, therefore presumably CAN afford to spend a lot, but that he's so awesome this mysterious regular girl lets him fiddle away at her for practically-free. Sadly this is just too unlikely!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarita on 14 September 2010, 07:58:30 am
Quote from: Danielle_xx on 09 September 2010, 06:45:24 pm
Quote from: Violette on 09 September 2010, 05:50:57 pm
Quote from: **Kelly** on 08 September 2010, 11:48:50 pm
I received this email tonight 'hello me and my mum are going down near you soon and it is her bday she is gonna be 47 and she is single my dad left 5 years ago and she needs some fun she has never been with a woman. Before and wants to try it we are close and don't hide anything from each other I'll pay for it xxx'
I got the same one!  ::) AW?

SNAP.....Now I wonder why none of us jumped at the offer  :o
LOL! Hadn't looked at this thread for a few days - I got it too!  There are some very strange people out there..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 14 September 2010, 08:05:36 am
I had some idiot call me last night talking about, "Im coming into town, I need to know a good area of town to stay in. I dont want to be in a place thats dirty, dingy or that has HOOKERS everywhere. Do you know any good spots that we could go to?"

Me: "Im an escort not a tour guide dumbass!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: naughtyholly on 16 September 2010, 12:07:24 am
A text that I received today:

Hi can you do st albans, asap. Do you take credit card payments? X

i haven't even bothered to reply.

Also, has anyone else been getting texts from someone calling themselves 'Patel' offering 12,000 pounds for 4 days work. He sends me them every other day now for the past couple of weeks. It went quiet for a week or so then started again over the last week or so! My motto: if it sounds too good to be true, then it usually is!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 16 September 2010, 12:13:46 am
Quote from: naughtyholly on 16 September 2010, 12:07:24 am
Also, has anyone else been getting texts from someone calling themselves 'Patel' offering 12,000 pounds for 4 days work. He sends me them every other day now for the past couple of weeks. It went quiet for a week or so then started again over the last week or so! My motto: if it sounds too good to be true, then it usually is!

Search for his name in this thread. He only offered Evie 8,000.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 16 September 2010, 12:14:35 am
Quote from: naughtyholly on 16 September 2010, 12:07:24 am

Also, has anyone else been getting texts from someone calling themselves 'Patel' offering 12,000 pounds for 4 days work. He sends me them every other day now for the past couple of weeks. It went quiet for a week or so then started again over the last week or so! My motto: if it sounds too good to be true, then it usually is!

Yes he even phoned me! Needless to say I politely declined his offer

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EveASQ on 16 September 2010, 02:37:17 pm
I've read through most of this thread and it seems that guys either a) think we're despearate for money, or b) think they're going to give us the best sex ever and we should be greatful for that! Silly boys!

I had a couple of weird messages through AW:

1. How to book...dont lose that red hair!!!

I've interpreted that in so many ways, is he telling me how to book, or is he telling me that I may go bald, or possibly there is a stray red hair on me in one of my photos?

2. today's thursday?

Well, yes.... I think he might have mixed me up with someone else there, but I can't see how as I've never sent him a message to reply to!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 17 September 2010, 02:40:01 pm
Message on AW

'Hi simone, love your photos and profile, would like to arrange a meeting if possible?'

Now all well and good, only snag being the guys AW nickname is 7 inch black cock :o Now call me picky but i don't think I'm the only lady totally put off by such horrid crude monikers? Is there any need? He could be a perfectly nice guy in real life but as soon as you read the name they've given themself you just think uurrrrggghhhhh :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 17 September 2010, 05:46:44 pm
Quote from: Simone on 17 September 2010, 02:40:01 pm
Now all well and good, only snag being the guys AW nickname is 7 inch black cock :o Now call me picky but i don't think I'm the only lady totally put off by such horrid crude monikers? Is there any need? He could be a perfectly nice guy in real life but as soon as you read the name they've given themself you just think uurrrrggghhhhh :P

I'm exactly the same - I don't know why they do it, and I honestly don't think they realise how offputting it is. I once, against my better judgement, took a booking from a bloke calling himself 'facialspunker' (I know) and was dreading it to my core all morning, but he turned out to be a perfectly nice and civil gent who even wrote me a nice FR. He has no idea how close his email came to going straight in the bin.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kiriad on 18 September 2010, 10:17:49 pm
Just got home after a lovely evening out meeting and having dinner with one of our lovely forumites from here   ;D Decided to check to AW mail and was greeted with the following two contenders  ::)

 
"we are a couple maybe we can meet and have fun together?we wud like to spend nice time together , we like long forplays , lot of kissing , teasing , and touching, we like to pay all 3 of us together and 2 of us and 3rd will be watching and directing, then we can take turns,....maybe we can play naughty games....and take shower together..and more....xxxx"

"Hi,

I'm after a one hour booking today in Haydock. I was wondering if you are free? I'll be messaging some other girls I am interested in, just incase you're not available If you're not, I might be able to use your services later in the week. Thanks"

Ummmm well I just can't contain myself!!  ;D

The first one is from a guy who has messaged me twice this week already and I have ignored both.  The first two messages were just as ummm eloquent and fanciful and I think that it's probably a dead cert that his other half is a figment of his imagination  ::)  lol

The second, well as it states clearly on my profile that for sameday bookings a guy needs to ring me, the idiot clearly cannot read and follow simple instructions.  I guess I should be grateful  tho that I was one of the chosen few that he deigned to contact  pmsl  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissMillie on 19 September 2010, 01:00:49 am
A text I got 20 minutes ago

'yo bbz, wud luv 2 c u now, got a big ard cock waitin 4 u, wanna stick it in ur pussy n mak u cum, wil u do ?35 4 an hour'

After reading that I'm trying to remember the correct spelling for the word I'd use to describe what my actions in response to that message will be.... oh thats right IGNORE!

He's probably about 15 and drunk off cheap cider in a park, wanking into a condom.

Erugh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 19 September 2010, 11:23:51 am
Quote from: amy on 17 September 2010, 05:46:44 pm
Quote from: Simone on 17 September 2010, 02:40:01 pm
Now all well and good, only snag being the guys AW nickname is 7 inch black cock :o Now call me picky but i don't think I'm the only lady totally put off by such horrid crude monikers? Is there any need? He could be a perfectly nice guy in real life but as soon as you read the name they've given themself you just think uurrrrggghhhhh :P

I'm exactly the same - I don't know why they do it, and I honestly don't think they realise how offputting it is. I once, against my better judgement, took a booking from a bloke calling himself 'facialspunker' (I know) and was dreading it to my core all morning, but he turned out to be a perfectly nice and civil gent who even wrote me a nice FR. He has no idea how close his email came to going straight in the bin.

Ooohhh 'Facialspunker' that's a nice one ;D conjures up such lovely images of the sort of young gent you would be happy to take home to meet your mother!
Its reminds me of a guy who once rang to book on the day and said he had sent a booking request on AW (i didn't see it at the time as no internet connection in the incall place i was working) He came along, was perfectly polite and unassuming and booking was fine. When i got home i checked AW to discover that his AW nickname was 'Throbbing gristle' :o If i had known that in advance i would probably never have agreed to see him yet he was fine in person!
Suffice to say though his gristle wasn't particularly throbbing, nor very gristly either come to think of it ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Stephanies Secrets on 19 September 2010, 04:31:46 pm
There is a gentleman who wants to buk me. I don't want to be buked, it sounds rather unpleasant  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 20 September 2010, 10:02:22 am
Had this lovely little gem last night;

'Had good time wednesday would like you 2 suck me off again dont want 2 stay long just cum in your mouth would come 2 see regular if you could do it for 75 pound like time only there 4 10 mins'

I was curious to see which one of my clients this was from Wednesday so text him asking who he was.

'Lingerie Man'

Ahhh makes sence. Didn't text him back and this morning got this text;

'I texted you last night i came last wednesday in my lingerie just want 2 cum in your mouth and would come regular if you did it for 75 pound'

Does he think the more times he repeats himself that I am more likely to be swayed by his obvious charm?  ::)

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 20 September 2010, 10:11:58 pm
Got this lovely one tonight:

Hi
Wow April you look gorgeous
I would love to see you Monday at 9.30 pm
I am slim attractive professional man, very clean looking for 1.5 hours incall for ?150 to inc owo cim and bareback sex
Cleanliness expected both ways.
Greg
xxx

Bareback for less than my normal rate! Hold me back  ;)

Also these texts this morning:
'Can u plz ans my call for bit thank u'
'I going to talk to u it is very impantant plz'
'I wana bessnes with u'

 :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 21 September 2010, 12:33:42 am
Quote from: Simone on 19 September 2010, 11:23:51 am
Its reminds me of a guy who once rang to book on the day and said he had sent a booking request on AW (i didn't see it at the time as no internet connection in the incall place i was working) He came along, was perfectly polite and unassuming and booking was fine. When i got home i checked AW to discover that his AW nickname was 'Throbbing gristle' :o If i had known that in advance i would probably never have agreed to see him yet he was fine in person!
Suffice to say though his gristle wasn't particularly throbbing, nor very gristly either come to think of it ;D

He's not a perv, he just likes some odd music. Throbbing Gristle is a band.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sammy s on 21 September 2010, 02:14:29 pm
Text message conversation I had earlier:

man - "Are you 3 today?"

me - "if you look at my profile you will see that I am unavailable for a couple of days. Next working on Friday"

man - "cool needs to be today tho. 4pm? have ?20 on me but can get the rest for you tonight. I live close by so you can pick it up after my work"

me - "tempting but no. Thanks for the offer though, great to know there are still some gentlemen left in the world"

man - "just meet me for half hour at 4. i just want a blow job and to cum in your mouth"

me - " please stop pestering me, im busy and not working. Dont reply as I wont respond"

man - "cant believe you turning me down. ive got a 9 inch cock. missed out babes"

Does he expect me to be like "9 inch cock you say??!!! well in that case i will drop my family plans and invite you over for a 30 minute blow job for ?20."

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 21 September 2010, 05:15:29 pm
Quote from: sammy s on 21 September 2010, 02:14:29 pm

Does he expect me to be like "9 inch cock you say??!!! well in that case i will drop my family plans and invite you over for a 30 minute blow job for ?20."


Actually, yes he does.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 22 September 2010, 09:02:37 am
Guy text me a few days ago asking my rates, services and wanting an outcall within the hour ::) (Yes of course sir, just let me drop my entire life and rush out to suck your willie posthaste)

I directed him to my website for my availability details etc. Got a text back an hour later.

'Hi again, Had a luk at yr site and don't think i will be booking u after all. 2 be honest i don't think yr really pretty enuff 2 be chargin the rates that u are'

This man has to pay ladies to sleep with him? really, I'm truly astonished :o I wonder what rates would have met his criteria? an hour for ?50 maybye? or for free? or perhaps even me paying him for the honour of allowing him to bone me?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: gia-77 on 22 September 2010, 11:45:27 am
Quote from: Simone on 22 September 2010, 09:02:37 am

'Hi again, Had a luk at yr site and don't think i will be booking u after all. 2 be honest i don't think yr really pretty enuff 2 be chargin the rates that u are'



How incredibly rude of him! Some people just have no tact or manners, or they maybe enjoy making other people feel like shit. All he had to do was not send you a message at all or to politely tell you that he wouldnt be able to book you as something had come up. When will they learn??!
The day that all clients are well mannered gentlemen will be the day that monkeys take over the world
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 22 September 2010, 12:09:54 pm

Quote from: Simone on 22 September 2010, 09:02:37 am

'Hi again, Had a luk at yr site and don't think i will be booking u after all. 2 be honest i don't think yr really pretty enuff 2 be chargin the rates that u are'


I think this is a text book woman hater- probably has some Mummy issues  ;D


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Spangle on 22 September 2010, 07:37:19 pm
Ohh Simone, what a c@ck..too scared/poor to book an escort so gets of on trying to put them down. I'm getting similar emails/texts from a "man" at the mo, quite probably the same guy. Keep your cool honey and try to find it in your heart to feel sorry for the loser xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 23 September 2010, 08:34:31 pm
Ugh this really annoyed me. I spoke to him on the phone and he wanted a 90 minute appointment for tomorrow, I informed him that I was going to be quite busy so he should book in advance to make sure that we could arrange a time. I then get this text off him 'You need to convince me why 90 mins would be better than 60'.

Urm actually I do not need to convince him of anything, its his money, and if he can't see why spending more time with me isn't beneficial for him, he must be very silly indeed. Does he think I'm his accountant, his secretary, his mother?!  ::)

I've had 3 similar texts off him in the last 30 mins... I'm ignoring him the best I can!

Update: Just got a call off him, saying he definitely wants a 90 minute appointment for tomorrow, if he isn't a timewaster I will eat my manolo's.  ;D


xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kimba on 24 September 2010, 12:29:24 pm
I hate that attitude. I want to retort, * ok, so you have half a minute of my time to complete your booking request. Tell me why I should accept YOU as a new client today, rather than seeing one of my lovely regulars? What do you have to offer me that is extra special?* - Trouble is, he would start to tell me in very graphic terms I fear!  :-[
I once had the following from a posh old gent;
*Now then young lady ..( I'm 41, but thanks   :) )..I have the numbers of several Escorts that I am considering booking today. Tell me 3 good reasons why I should pick YOU my dear ..*
Needless to say, he was given very short shrift and advised to call me back should he revise his attitude and booking technique  :)
Like many other girls, I have a proclaimer in my ads on on my site stating that good manners and attitude are essential in order to secure a booking..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 27 September 2010, 04:47:46 pm
This just in:
Client: "Will you take expensive jewelry?"
Me: "If it is that expensive, go and sell it and come with the cash."
C: "Well, it is just that you are so pretty." And he hopes stupid.
I hang up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 27 September 2010, 05:26:31 pm
I have never gotten anything like this before: I had stopped thru a small town in Colorado for 1 night and 1 morning. I was able to meet with 1 client, but this guy...was emailing me all week about meeting, but couldn't get around to picking up the phone:

Him:sorry didnt read it in time.....sorry but im gonna hafta review u as a no show since it took so long to respond

Me:Oh give me a break...you had my number, you could have called me. I'll forward all these emails to whatever site you choose to review me on in my reply if you decide to go that route. And I dont know what hafta
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 27 September 2010, 05:31:13 pm
Quote from: sammy s on 21 September 2010, 02:14:29 pm
Text message conversation I had earlier:

man - "Are you 3 today?"

me - "if you look at my profile you will see that I am unavailable for a couple of days. Next working on Friday"

man - "cool needs to be today tho. 4pm? have ?20 on me but can get the rest for you tonight. I live close by so you can pick it up after my work"

me - "tempting but no. Thanks for the offer though, great to know there are still some gentlemen left in the world"

This is the email reply you should have never sent. Remember, we really shouldn't even be answering text message bookings and lately, I've also fallen into the trap of doing so only to end up annoyed and disappointed afterwards.

Although it can be amusing and tempting to respond back something smart...remember that when a guy is texting, you're not dealing with a full deck and its going to go nowhere.



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Violette on 29 September 2010, 12:46:33 am
This I think is a biscuit taker:
Guy want me to stop and pick him up on my way back in from an outcall, because he wants to offset his carbon footprint. He needs to realize that isn't the footprint he need to be worrying about.  ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 29 September 2010, 01:15:16 am
Booking comes in through AW syste, for about 4pm for 1 hour outcall (roughly 4 hours notice)

great i thought! makes a nice change, formal booking, enough notice etc...

Im in glasgow

booking is Hereford.. well done

He comes into my free cam chat " i take it thats a no too this afternoon then??"  ::)

this thread is hilarious, nice too know its not just me lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UrbaneAspects on 29 September 2010, 09:36:43 pm
People seem to like to force you to do something stupid...

It bad enough I pretty much have no gas...and I had agreed to meet some fool at a truck stop (I know, but I tried it once before and it wasn't any different than any other booking except the location).

So I get there, Im walking all around the parking lot because he was wanting to be 'discreet'. Well I told his ass he needed to either meet me at the front of the parking lot or near the diesel fill up. When I finally did find his truck, the mother fucker wouldn't even open the door and had the windows all covered over. Mind you...this is all in broad daylight in the middle of the afternoon!

I was really about to do something absolutely crazy, bust out a few windows, pull my car in front of his and start honking til he opened...but I wasn't even completely sure that was his particular truck as there were dozens of them in every corner. I couldn't tell if he was just in another truck and looking at me, or if he was in that one. And I know those stops are heavily secured and was getting more nervous than anything. But now Im fuming and plotting on turning back around and creating a hostage situation  >:(

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady69 on 01 October 2010, 02:11:58 pm
Client calls to make a booking for next day at 12noon he sounded nice and genuine I say super enough notice.

I therefore instruct him to call and confirm at 10 am on the day of which  he agrees .

A few hours later I guest a text which turned out to be a photo message yes you guessed it a photo of him from waste down showing clearly with his erect penis  ::) with the text "this is what you will be getting tomara"

A complete and utter timewaster needless to say he never confirmed the booking big surprise :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 01 October 2010, 04:20:15 pm
Quote from: lady69 on 01 October 2010, 02:11:58 pm

A few hours later I guest a text which turned out to be a photo message yes you guessed it a photo of him from waste down showing clearly with his erect penis  ::) with the text "this is what you will be getting tomara"


eeewwwwwwwwwwwww  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 01 October 2010, 11:52:44 pm
Quote from: lady69 on 01 October 2010, 02:11:58 pm
a photo of him from waste down

I think the waste goes both directions with that one.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 02 October 2010, 07:04:40 am
"are you looking for a one night stand?"

Hmmmm.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady69 on 02 October 2010, 09:38:05 pm
Quote from: xw5 on 01 October 2010, 11:52:44 pm
I think the waste goes both directions with that one.

lol good spin

and I need to brush up on my spelling lol "waist"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sammy s on 04 October 2010, 11:49:10 am
Hi Sam,

I would love for you to be dressed in a brightly coloured business suit (flared, pleated short skirt if possible) with black stockings, suspenders, and the highest heels you can walk in. No panties of course and a freshly shaved pussy.
I would enter your premises where you would order me to strip naked. I would then show you numerous photos my wife has taken of me in humiliating situations. Some of the photos are of me with a dressed cock with pretty ribbons, bells, and girly hairbands. You are intriqued, and ask me to dress in a similiar fashion. You then attach a collor and lead and drag me around the house. I must then beg for a least five minutes on camera how much I want to drink from a doggie bowl which you have filled with your own special champagne.
You have purchased a posh cupcake form a local shop which has some special cream that I have provided. You then order me on camera to again beg for at least 5 minutes before I must eat it.
All props can be provided (except for the the cupcake). Hope the above is not too alternative. If you have a friend who wishes to watch that would add to my humiliation.
I am a smart attractive slim middle aged businessman looking for a bit of fun.
Is the above something you would consider? Hope to hear from you soon.


HAHAHAHA this has to be the most specific booking I have ever had.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Carla on 04 October 2010, 01:02:32 pm
Quote from: sammy s on 04 October 2010, 11:49:10 am
Hi Sam,

I would love for you to be dressed in a brightly coloured business suit (flared, pleated short skirt if possible) with black stockings, suspenders, and the highest heels you can walk in. No panties of course and a freshly shaved pussy.
I would enter your premises where you would order me to strip naked. I would then show you numerous photos my wife has taken of me in humiliating situations. Some of the photos are of me with a dressed cock with pretty ribbons, bells, and girly hairbands. You are intriqued, and ask me to dress in a similiar fashion. You then attach a collor and lead and drag me around the house. I must then beg for a least five minutes on camera how much I want to drink from a doggie bowl which you have filled with your own special champagne.
You have purchased a posh cupcake form a local shop which has some special cream that I have provided. You then order me on camera to again beg for at least 5 minutes before I must eat it.
All props can be provided (except for the the cupcake). Hope the above is not too alternative. If you have a friend who wishes to watch that would add to my humiliation.
I am a smart attractive slim middle aged businessman looking for a bit of fun.
Is the above something you would consider? Hope to hear from you soon.


HAHAHAHA this has to be the most specific booking I have ever had.


Tell him that for a grand, I'll be the friend who watches  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amalia on 04 October 2010, 10:13:51 pm

I got an other Easter today to give it a try...


would you be able to meet me tonight at work for a blow job/hand job? x i have ?30 on me right now if you can xx x
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 04 October 2010, 10:18:32 pm
Ok this is not something specific, but rather something I get very often....

The guys who have clearly seen my website but still ask "What are your rates?" . I don't mean the genuine guys who might say "Can you clarify the rate for one hour?" or "That will be ?xxx?" , but the ones who are actually getting you to tell them the rates in case you quote something cheaper on the phone. grrrrrrrrrr!

I had one tonight who asked rates - I told him - He said "oh I wasn't looking to pay that much"  >:(
I actually asked him "Did you know the rate but call anyway just to see if I would quote you a lower price?"  ;D i know I shouldn't but he was just soooo annoying! He actually admitted it sheepishly. bwahahahahaaha!

Least I get a laugh  ;D although it does annoy the hell out of me, especially since business is quiet just now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 05 October 2010, 08:43:06 am
Well I suppose at least he had the decency to be 'honest' about being a tight fist ed git >:(

Email yesterday from a man who had booked to see me this Friday for 2 hours and has being emailing me long, ridiculous, vom-inducing, flowery emails. Rather as if he actually REALLY believed we would be meeting for some sensual joining of  of bodies and minds :P. Frankly he has being very irritating but thought I would tolerate it for the money.

'Hello Simone, I'm afraid I wont be able to make the meeting on Friday. My brother who lives in (la la land) has has several heart attacks (several?? lucky hes actually still alive then!!) and I am having to travel down to look after him for the week.

Well isn't that bloody convenient for him? Felt like emailing him back saying I might do a survey into the high rates of heart attacks amongst the families of punters. Seeming as though hes the 3rd person I've had use that excuse this year and all ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 05 October 2010, 09:16:33 am
Quote from: Simone on 05 October 2010, 08:43:06 am
Email yesterday from a man who had booked to see me this Friday for 2 hours and has being emailing me long, ridiculous, vom-inducing, flowery emails. Rather as if he actually REALLY believed we would be meeting for some sensual joining of  of bodies and minds :P. Frankly he has being very irritating but thought I would tolerate it for the money.

'Hello Simone, I'm afraid I wont be able to make the meeting on Friday. My brother who lives in (la la land) has has several heart attacks (several?? lucky hes actually still alive then!!) and I am having to travel down to look after him for the week.'

I'm pretty sure there's a precise mathematical equation that shows the more a client texts/emails/calls before his appointment (beyond the standard first call and expected confirmation call, of course) the dramatically less likely he is to show up.

Or maybe these long-winded blokes are trying to put us through our paces - if we can't keep up with them and send even more passionate, arousing and floral emails back then they won't deign to give us their business! ;D

But since I'd prefer a straightforward booking over poetry-reading and romantic eye-gazing any day, I think I'm better off giving the floral stuff a miss. Count your blessings, Simone!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 05 October 2010, 11:01:59 am
Once or twice when a excess-texter does come to see me I'll give them a friendly hint about this behaviour, the response is that they think it shows they are keen and genuine. Have had one or two ring and ask me why another lady has been funny with them. Oh dear.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 06 October 2010, 08:49:42 am
Quote from: strawberry on 05 October 2010, 11:01:59 am
Once or twice when a excess-texter does come to see me I'll give them a friendly hint about this behaviour, the response is that they think it shows they are keen and genuine. Have had one or two ring and ask me why another lady has been funny with them. Oh dear.

That's just utterly hilarious that somebody would ring you and ask why another escort is ignoring them. ;D Do they think that we are all part of a nationwide prossie collective sending signals to each other in the night time like batman? I can just imagine somebody sitting at home thinking 'Sarah from west Yorkshire isn't answering my 45th email about how much I'm looking forward to kissing her from head to toe. I know what I will do, I will ring Strawberry and ask her why, she is bound to know ;D'

Oh and this little nugget from yesterday. Guy who apparently I have seen before but I don't recall at all rings me.

Him: 'Could I book a 2 hour duo with you and Amy (My duo partner) for Thursday please'
Me: Yes that should be fine.
Him: How much?
Me: For 2 hours in will be ?210 to each lady.
Him: (Voice going amazingly high pitched like a smurf being strangled in a vat of wine) Whattttt??? I thought it was ?210 for the both of you. Your webpage says ?110 per hour!!!??!!
Me: (As patiently as I could muster) 'No that's the rate for a single girl booking, for a duo you have to double the price as you are paying to see 2 girls'
Him: (In a slightly peeved voice as if Its my fault he had just been denied the chance to have 2 cute girls fawn all over him for 2 hours for impossibly low prices) 'Oh well in that case I will just have to book an hour, I cant possibly afford that much money, I have to say though I'm a little bit disappointed' :o :o

Your disappointed you cant get 2 girls for 2 hours for ?55 each an hour? Gosh my heart is bleeding, guess us escorts are just getting greedier and greedier ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Candyflossispink on 06 October 2010, 10:32:09 am
My gem

"can i see you today?"
"no, i only book appointments in advance, i have an appointment free for tomorrow at 11am"
" ok can i book in at 11am for one hour"
" of course - can i take a name and contact telephone number for you please?"
" i cant wait to lick your pussy"
" we can discuss that tomorrow"
" i want to meet you for coffee first"
" im sorry thats not possible, we can have coffee and a chat  during your appointment tomorrow if youre a little nervous"
"no, i just want to lick your pussy"

This plonker wonders why im not answering his calls this morning......
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 07 October 2010, 12:04:52 pm
This just in on aw (of course):

hiya bbe, love ur profile.are free for an incall today @1pm? how much is 30mins? would it be ok to do it without as I'm, allergic to condoms?

1st of all... I'm not even working today
2nd of all... I don't offer 30 mins
3rd of all... I don't even know where to start with the bb thing!

Request Denied.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 07 October 2010, 09:39:34 pm
Today:

Hello I see from your blog that you have horses.  I would be interested in a pony session. [I hang up]

What the hell is that? And I am sure I do not wish to know!!!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Selena on 07 October 2010, 10:57:01 pm
Quote from: pandora on 07 October 2010, 09:39:34 pm
Today:

Hello I see from your blog that you have horses.  I would be interested in a pony session. [I hang up]

What the hell is that? And I am sure I do not wish to know!!!



 ;D a pony for him?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PremiumBlonde on 08 October 2010, 08:03:40 pm
I've just had an exchange of emails with someone on Adult Work :
________________________________________________________________________
Him : im staying in a hotel in folkestone and im all alone, i would love some
company and was wondering if u fancied coming down and being my company,
maybe go for a meal and a drink
________________________________________________________________________

Me : I'd love to.  I couldn't make it before 8.30pm and would need a Booking Form filled out please and we can take it from there.
________________________________________________________________________

Him : um what would u like to do???
________________________________________________________________________

Me : Depends on your hotel, and I won't be able to drink but if you wanted to do something and then have some "private time" the bars along the seafront are lovely.
________________________________________________________________________

Him : oh ok, um....are we doing a social meet or what???
________________________________________________________________________

Me : Erm, what's a social meet ? *mentally resigns him to the timewankers pile but wants to see what sort of silver-tongued approach he will use as he goes for the "free all nighter".
________________________________________________________________________

Him : come down and stay with me for the nite, go home in the morning and i will
pay petrol and drink for the evening and stay in my room and go in morning
what do u think and we could go out and see who we can both pull???
________________________________________________________________________

Me : Um, are you for real ?  You must have mistaken yourself for a close friend of mine, for whom I would drive for 40 minutes at the prospect of a night of hedonistic fun.  Besides which I have some wet paint that I'd like to watch dry.

Um, no.
________________________________________________________________________

Should I go ? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 08 October 2010, 08:48:45 pm
Quote from: PremiumBlonde on 08 October 2010, 08:03:40 pm
Him : um what would u like to do???
________________________________________________________________________

Me : Depends on your hotel, and I won't be able to drink but if you wanted to do something and then have some "private time" the bars along the seafront are lovely.
________________________________________________________________________

Him : oh ok, um....are we doing a social meet or what???

I think his Match.com, Adultfriendfinder.com and Adultwork.com bookmarks must all be right next to each other in his list, and he's gotten himself very confused about what he's doing and who he's going to try and do it with. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PremiumBlonde on 08 October 2010, 09:35:34 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 08 October 2010, 08:48:45 pm
Quote from: PremiumBlonde on 08 October 2010, 08:03:40 pm
Him : um what would u like to do???
________________________________________________________________________

Me : Depends on your hotel, and I won't be able to drink but if you wanted to do something and then have some "private time" the bars along the seafront are lovely.
________________________________________________________________________

Him : oh ok, um....are we doing a social meet or what???

I think his Match.com, Adultfriendfinder.com and Adultwork.com bookmarks must all be right next to each other in his list, and he's gotten himself very confused about what he's doing and who he's going to try and do it with. ;D

You are correct of course.  A quick Google of his username and he was to be found on sexintheuk.com  (No strings attached fun apparently).  He obviously thought he was on there when he mentioned a social meet.  Dammit, I let him slip through my fingers  :'(

I realised just how much I'd missed out when I read this Field Report  http://www.adultwork.com/FR?20197  (http://www.adultwork.com/FR?20197)  that he left for someone.  Oh, and of course the obligatory cock pic on his profile.  I don't like cock pics at the best of times.  Nought is the amount of cock pics I like to receive.  But it is the most horrible one I've ever seen.

What is it that makes a bloke sitting alone in his hotel room think that any woman, let alone an escort, is going to drop whatever she's doing, get ready, drive all that way to spend the night with someone they've exchanged a couple of one line emails with ... even if they are paying for the petrol !.  Especially when they usually get paid lots of money to do this.  It's taking optimism too far.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 08 October 2010, 10:22:05 pm
Quote from: PremiumBlonde on 08 October 2010, 09:35:34 pm
I realised just how much I'd missed out when I read this Field Report  http://www.adultwork.com/FR?20197  (http://www.adultwork.com/FR?20197)  that he left for someone.  Oh, and of course the obligatory cock pic on his profile.  I don't like cock pics at the best of times.  Nought is the amount of cock pics I like to receive.  But it is the most horrible one I've ever seen.

Think I'll give the pictures a mis, ha, but I have to say that FR is pretty... special. ::)

Quote from: PremiumBlonde on 08 October 2010, 09:35:34 pm
What is it that makes a bloke sitting alone in his hotel room think that any woman, let alone an escort, is going to drop whatever she's doing, get ready, drive all that way to spend the night with someone they've exchanged a couple of one line emails with ... even if they are paying for the petrol !.  Especially when they usually get paid lots of money to do this.  It's taking optimism too far.

They literally message hundreds (thousands?) of women per week (copy & paste) in hope of even a 0.5% success rate. That's why when they actually get a response they normally sound very confused and sometimes even ask you to confirm "which one u r". They probably get more responses from escorts, as they're likely completely ignored on the dating and free sex sites (unless they contact a man pretending to be a sexy lady), but of course an escort's 10,000% less likely to touch his peen unless he ponies up some proper cash so not much result either way.

So, yes, mostly they're just a confused and lonely bunch of wankers, and I mean that in the nicest way possible because at least they aren't hurting anyone and are easily ignored, albeit rather annoying when you're just not in the mood for "my penis is really important" from any man! They can get pesky on blogs/Twitter as well, so anywhere online that you accidentally reveal yourself to be female, attractive and in the possession of a working vagina, make sure you know where that block button is. ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 12 October 2010, 06:28:47 pm
This had me in stitches this morning.

"Hello Alexa!

My name is [deluded idiot] and I am [strange woman's] husband ( that's her "work" profile here as you can see ). I just discovered your profile recently + viewed your private gallery earlier just now and you look really gorgeous if I may say so.

I hope you don't mind me asking, but I was wondering if you are single and looking for a partner / something long-term?

It may sound stupid but I love your looks and you look really like my type I click with very well. My wife and I are looking since quite a while for a really smart + good looking young lady for me as I would eventuality like to live long-term in a FFM relationship.

Anyway; I am 34y, nice and fun, educated, dominant, and if you're interested then I would be delighted if you get in touch and to get the opportunity to get to know you.

Regards, [deluded idiot]"


Sounds like I'm really missing out by turning this one down to stay with my boyfriend.
I mean, a boyfriend who's already got a wife! Exactly what a woman always dreams of! Aren't you all jealous of me? ;)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 12 October 2010, 06:31:35 pm
By text this morning after I sent my website address to a multiple texter.

"Yuk bye ur old"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 12 October 2010, 07:45:47 pm
Text:

"Hi are you available??? I'd like to see you asap! text back please"





sent 5:10 am...   ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 12 October 2010, 09:07:24 pm
Jem, I'm in the same area as you and I got the exact same text (although mines was at 5.07am)  ;D  ;D

Someone must have been very desperate!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Candyflossispink on 12 October 2010, 09:26:51 pm
Alexa ~ I am so jealous!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 12 October 2010, 09:30:55 pm
Quote from: PremiumBlonde on 08 October 2010, 09:35:34 pm
A quick Google of his username and he was to be found on sexintheuk.com 

I still treasure the email from someone whose unique username Google turned up on a site for people wanting to be more than just friends with four-legged friends.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kiriad on 14 October 2010, 10:46:06 am
05.10 yesterday morning my phone rings and I answer it with a croaky hello.  It was some idiot asking if I could come out to somewhere in Manchester for a quickie!!  ::) FFS!!  After receiving short shrift from me he then had the audacity to tell me that he thought that I would have been up already as "you hookers are meant to be available all the time aren't you"  Tosser!!  I had only just gotten off to sleep having been up most of the night coughing too  :( 

After trying to get back to sleep I eventually gave up and got up about 8 and logged on to AW to be greeted with a message timed at 04.38 from yet another idiot wanting to know if I could do an outcall to Llandudno Junction straight way!!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 15 October 2010, 05:26:39 pm
Phone rings

Me: Hi

Him: Hi is this Cassie in Chester?

Me: Yes, this is Cassie in Chester, hi.

Him: I'd like to see you this afternoon.

Me: Ok, thats fine, what time?

Him: In about an hour. Where are you?

Me: Chester (thinks DUH!)

Him: Is that more than an hour from Newcastle?

Needless to say the booking didn't go ahead.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Annalisa on 15 October 2010, 06:55:10 pm
Quote from: cassie on 15 October 2010, 05:26:39 pm
Him: Hi is this Cassie in Chester?

Me: Yes, this is Cassie in Chester, hi.
maybe he thought 'Inchester' was your last name  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KatieKurves on 15 October 2010, 08:00:22 pm
Quote from: xw5 on 12 October 2010, 09:30:55 pm
Quote from: PremiumBlonde on 08 October 2010, 09:35:34 pm
A quick Google of his username and he was to be found on sexintheuk.com 

I still treasure the email from someone whose unique username Google turned up on a site for people wanting to be more than just friends with four-legged friends.


 ??? ??? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KatieKurves on 15 October 2010, 08:01:58 pm
Quote from: Annalisa on 15 October 2010, 06:55:10 pm
Quote from: cassie on 15 October 2010, 05:26:39 pm
Him: Hi is this Cassie in Chester?

Me: Yes, this is Cassie in Chester, hi.
maybe he thought 'Inchester' was your last name  :P

 ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 15 October 2010, 10:00:59 pm
Why do boys not check location first?  ::)

I get it contantly, tonight be no exception

"hi is this jem"
"yes"
"are you available now"
"sure where are you?"
"london.."

tit..im in glasgow!   ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Stephanies Secrets on 15 October 2010, 10:48:35 pm
Lol! I've had this! I got him to repeat his location several times because although I knew I was hearing "Islington" - 200 miles from Leeds, I thought he must be saying "Drighlington" - a village near Leeds which I do cover! No, he hadn't checked where I was... we agreed that the extra travel costs would be prohibitive, and he would be best looking for a lady a little closer to home  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 16 October 2010, 12:42:36 am
Quote from: Kate40E on 15 October 2010, 08:01:58 pm
Quote from: Annalisa on 15 October 2010, 06:55:10 pm
Quote from: cassie on 15 October 2010, 05:26:39 pm
Him: Hi is this Cassie in Chester?

Me: Yes, this is Cassie in Chester, hi.
maybe he thought 'Inchester' was your last name  :P

 ;D ;D

Hehehe!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 16 October 2010, 10:40:04 am
I very much doubt I'm the only person who got this (again, no prizes for guessing where from):

"hi sexy

i m 32 and work as engineer

i am looking for an open inded sexy flatmate who can live in with me

i have a nice 2 BD furnished flat in london (sutton zone 5)

you will live rent free with me in exchange for being my naughty mate so that we can have naughty fun ocassionally

i will use condom protection always. also this arrangement is flexible without any strings attached but you can live as long as u want.u can continue doing outcalls also

hope you like my proposal

kisses"


Yep, I'm falling over myself to leave my huge seaview apartment and move 300 miles to bunk in with some lunatic who spends his Friday evenings spamming prostitutes on AW. And I get to be an unpaid sex slave as well? Woohoo!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 17 October 2010, 12:21:25 am
I'm green with envy!

If you're really luck you might get to do the cooking and cleaning too.

 ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 18 October 2010, 02:38:48 pm
Amy I had that one too - and I'm on the other side of the country to you  ;D

Don't think it's really "How not to Book an Escort" but I had a text today

"Don't email Kevin **** again slut"  ??? I don't recognise the name, but since I don't randomly email guys to solicit them - they have to be looking for ME, then the texter's boyfriend/whatever must have been emailing ME at some point....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 18 October 2010, 04:04:41 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 18 October 2010, 02:38:48 pm
"Don't email Kevin **** again slut"

"Dear slut, OK but does he know you are reading his email?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 19 October 2010, 07:56:08 pm
Text from a long time regular

"Hi, I knw u may say no but i hav just moved into my own house and am wondering if I coul come round quick and have a quick wank as i rly need one but have no internet or money"

Nice mix of text speak and proper spelling.  Why can't he stay in his own house and have a wank?

I guess that is another ex-regular! Ho hum.  Why do they always go bad?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 19 October 2010, 11:23:04 pm
Quote from: pandora on 19 October 2010, 07:56:08 pm
Text from a long time regular

"Hi, I knw u may say no but i hav just moved into my own house and am wondering if I coul come round quick and have a quick wank as i rly need one but have no internet or money"

Nice mix of text speak and proper spelling.  Why can't he stay in his own house and have a wank?

I guess that is another ex-regular! Ho hum.  Why do they always go bad?

That is just completely bizarre ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 20 October 2010, 10:05:25 pm
Quote from: xw5 on 18 October 2010, 04:04:41 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 18 October 2010, 02:38:48 pm
"Don't email Kevin **** again slut"

"Dear slut, OK but does he know you are reading his email?"

Hahahaahahahaaha!  ;D Wish I could think of witty replies like that at the time!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 20 October 2010, 10:08:23 pm
Pandora, that is hilarious! I know what you mean about the regulars. A properly good regular seems to be a rarity. Usually after a while they think there's more to the relationship than just client/escort and then get really pissed off when you won't give them freebies  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Carla on 25 October 2010, 11:20:54 pm
Got this today:

Hello
My name is Eve ,i saw your profile today at(site )and became intrested in you,i will also like to know you the more,and i want you to send an email to my email address so i can give you my picture for you to know whom i am.


HAHAHA! Didn't even bother to make up a site he/she (??) had seen me on! Just the generic  word (site). How charming. I would have replied as well if they hadn't made such a faux pas.

Not.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 25 October 2010, 11:48:35 pm
Quote from: Carla on 25 October 2010, 11:20:54 pm
Got this today:

Hello
My name is Eve ,i saw your profile today at(site )and became intrested in you,i will also like to know you the more,and i want you to send an email to my email address so i can give you my picture for you to know whom i am.


HAHAHA! Didn't even bother to make up a site he/she (??) had seen me on! Just the generic  word (site). How charming. I would have replied as well if they hadn't made such a faux pas.

Not.


Ooh I heard from 'Eve' today as well but all i got was 'Are u avail today babe. eve' I'm very upset Carla, why doesn't he/she want my email address so they can send me their picture? Theres clearly something wrong with me :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: anonymoussw on 25 October 2010, 11:52:00 pm
LOL

Seriously girls. This thread is a publisher's deal in the making...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 26 October 2010, 03:47:44 pm
"Hello, my name is Anthony, I am a detective in the Met Police.  Do not worry or let this put you off.  I have seen your profile and think you look amazing.  I wondered if I could be of use to you in some way".

I replied: Hi Anthony, I am not worried as escorting is perfectly legal.  If you would like a booking please ring me to arrange.

"Sorry, you seem to have mis-understood me.  I think you are lovely and I would love to get to know you on a personal level and not as an escort, please ring me to meet up for a drink".

DREAM ON!!!

Be of use to me? Is he offering to do police checks for me?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Elixir on 31 October 2010, 08:15:07 pm
Twat - Hello, where are you? 
Me - I'm based in XXXXXXX
Tw - I want a 15 minute quickie
Me - Sorry, the minimum with me is an hour
Tw - Do you do half an hour?
Me - The minimum is an hour
TW - God, you are hard work, aren't you?
Me - Can I take your name?  *File under rude idiot*
TW - Text me if you change your mind.
Me - I didn't catch that, did you say 'lose your mind?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Elixir on 31 October 2010, 08:20:53 pm
By text:

Want u suck me cock fk me hard swallow me cum do it for 100
No response
Love bean sucked fk u do u swallow be there 6
Funnily, I didn't tell him my address
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 01 November 2010, 01:05:09 am
Him free chat - you available tonight at this place?

Me freechat - sure email details - address + phone number

him - here's address and number - So what will and wont you do

me - profile lists do's not listed dont do it - this is price -

him - nothing overly kinky, just fucking. and a blowjob, but you need to swallow? ( i do not offer CIM)

him again - also, meant to say. you will recognise me. i play football. please be discrete (genius i have your address and phone number already!)

me - I do not swallow and do not list this as a service

him - best leave it then

Grrrr you completey and utter "fanny" as we say in scotland lol




Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 02 November 2010, 11:10:53 pm
Quote from: pandora on 26 October 2010, 03:47:44 pm
"Hello, my name is Anthony, I am a detective in the Met Police.  Do not worry or let this put you off.  I have seen your profile and think you look amazing.  I wondered if I could be of use to you in some way".

I replied: Hi Anthony, I am not worried as escorting is perfectly legal.  If you would like a booking please ring me to arrange.

"Sorry, you seem to have mis-understood me.  I think you are lovely and I would love to get to know you on a personal level and not as an escort, please ring me to meet up for a drink".

DREAM ON!!!

Be of use to me? Is he offering to do police checks for me?

You could have got him to wash your car or clean out your gutters, lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassie on 02 November 2010, 11:16:41 pm
Very polite sounding young man: Hi, I want to book and older woman, but many won't see me because I am only 18, is that a problem.
Me: No thats fine.
Him: So is it just fine or does it turn you on that I'm 18?
Me: I don't care about the age as long as you are clean and respectful.(sigh)
Him: Do you do phone sex.
Me: No - (hang up)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SabrinaYork on 07 November 2010, 09:50:39 pm
hi


Would love to meet up for some fun ;-)

I'll e coming up to York this week

- *
07************
----------------------------------------------------------------
With a picture attached of a flaccid penis.

My response:

?? Oh goodie a picture of a cock which I see all the time every day with a phone number attached!
 
Whooooooho way to go me!


S x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: browncandy on 09 November 2010, 01:31:38 pm
Hello there, Is it all about the money or are you like myself and in it for the sex, if it's the later, how about popping over for a few hours of fun?? xxx

do I have idiot on my forehead or something?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 14 November 2010, 10:13:02 pm
Just got this email:

Quote
Hi

would you ever consider bareback for an extra charge

Thanks
Steve

... It was a 'snort out a sharp laugh at the computer screen and click next' moment.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 15 November 2010, 08:54:25 pm
"how u doin love.. am kinda stressed out  with no sex for the past 9 months! .. coz i split up with ma ex 1 year ago . cant b fucked havin another gf yet . im lookin for a very clean an tidy girl to hav sme fun with nw and again.. let me knw wat u can offer. i sent a photo of me so u can hav an idea wat ur dealin with :P"

yuk yuk yuk. He attached a picture of what was obviously a professional male suit model (NOT him, I'm telling you it came straight out of a catalogue!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sammy s on 17 November 2010, 11:27:15 am
Hi beautiful
really interested In meeting up today for an hour.
I must admit two things... I'm currently very low on cash due to being made redundant and I also have a coldsore.
We don't have to do oral if you want but how about I don't pay you in cash and pay you in food?
My wife works for a luxury deli and can supply you with delicious jams, cakes and stuffed olives.
Also I don't really like condoms. How do you feel about them?
Cheers
mike



Hahahhaa WTF!!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Stephanies Secrets on 17 November 2010, 11:49:41 am
Quote from: sammy s on 17 November 2010, 11:27:15 am
supply you with delicious jams, cakes and stuffed olives.

He can keep the jams and cakes, but I would work for olives  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 17 November 2010, 01:02:38 pm
Quote from: sammy s on 17 November 2010, 11:27:15 am
[...]
Also I don't really like condoms. How do you feel about them?
Cheers
mike

Eurgh, something about that insipid, sneaky little question on the end (like he'd tried to outrage you so much by offering to pay you in jam that you'd miss it!) makes me especially nauseous.

Yes, Mike, like anyone's going to bother engaging in a far-reaching and insightful dialogue with you about the necessity of condoms when you just tried to buy sexual services with produce from your wife's deli.

He may refer to my wise lemur friend (http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/comment/39/2010/11/a44bf6f49ff031986cb5715a9e3faaf6/340x.jpg) for an answer. (I'm actually going to send that link to my next idiot emailer, quite excited. ;D)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 17 November 2010, 01:05:17 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 17 November 2010, 01:02:38 pm


He may refer to my wise lemur friend (http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/comment/39/2010/11/a44bf6f49ff031986cb5715a9e3faaf6/340x.jpg) for an answer. (I'm actually going to send that link to my next idiot emailer, quite excited. ;D)

Emily that is pure genius  ;) Love it!

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 18 November 2010, 04:38:47 pm
Subject:   Complimentary massage offer
Hi April,

I am fairly new to AW and I?m contacting you because I would like to offer my massage to you. The massage is complementary. The reason why I am offering you a free massage is that I think that it is a polite idea to give you a good initial impression. The initial meeting would give you a feel for my massage and if you feel a need in the future, then you may book again. I am passionate about massage and thoroughly enjoy giving it.

I am competent in full body massage, Indian head massage and reflexology (hand & foot, which I really enjoy giving). My core offering is the full body massage (which lasts for around 2 hrs) including head, neck, lower back, upper back and shoulders, buttocks (bum), legs, hands & feet.

The massage would be tailored to suit your requirements. I can spend longer massaging the bodily areas that you need more attention on. An assisted body scrub and wash also available when finished with massage. I have a selection of massage oils and scrubs for your convenience.

Ash x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 27 November 2010, 02:26:35 pm
TEXT:

Hey internet interest you. Can visit when any free




o....k we wont be responding to that one lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AmericanPie on 28 November 2010, 01:23:31 am
Quote from: Elixir on 31 October 2010, 08:15:07 pm
Twat - Hello, where are you? 
Me - I'm based in XXXXXXX
Tw - I want a 15 minute quickie
Me - Sorry, the minimum with me is an hour
Tw - Do you do half an hour?
Me - The minimum is an hour
TW - God, you are hard work, aren't you?
Me - Can I take your name?  *File under rude idiot*
TW - Text me if you change your mind.
Me - I didn't catch that, did you say 'lose your mind?'


LOL...hilrarious
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 30 November 2010, 08:47:46 am
I swear they get worse.

Quote
I am a 58 year old male into domination and humiliation

I realised this when me and my mother were walking into our town centre and two young girls spat at her and called her names. I was very shocked but also very turned on by this .
I went back into the town centre the following day and gave both the girls ?25 each as they laughed and called her more names and me an idiot.

I tried to find them since but to no avail , so i was wondering if you thought the same thing about my mother and if I should pay you for it ?

I will pay double if i am made to cry.

Please show me how cruel you can be and give me motivation to come and pay you my wages weekly.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 30 November 2010, 09:27:09 am
Quote
I am a 58 year old male into domination and humiliation

I realised this when me and my mother were walking into our town centre and two young girls spat at her and called her names. I was very shocked but also very turned on by this .
I went back into the town centre the following day and gave both the girls ?25 each as they laughed and called her more names and me an idiot.

I tried to find them since but to no avail , so i was wondering if you thought the same thing about my mother and if I should pay you for it ?

I will pay double if i am made to cry.

Please show me how cruel you can be and give me motivation to come and pay you my wages weekly.

xx

I had a slightly different version of this one a while back, where it was his elderly wife (now dead), and he was terminally ill himself so would I grant his last wish. Where do they come up with this stuff?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady69 on 30 November 2010, 12:18:25 pm
Gosh is this the longest thread of all time?

These Wankers never know when to  stop do they??

1. Email just  a few minutes ago

From: S Cheeky (yes that was his last name)

Hi Xxxxx

I had to write to say i think you are simply perfection.
I think.. you're too good for me to see you.. but i was wondering if guys were allowed to treat or spoil you with gifts somehow. You so totally deserve it.

I hope you are well and keeping warm. x

hmm shall I reply to this one??


2. Another Idiotic email

Hi,
 
I am 23 years old and i am a lawyer. Now i am specialising in public international law and because of that i will be next week in xxxx. And i want to spend a really nice time with a beautiful lady AS YOU. I also have some questions, because i do not see those informations (that are very important for me) on your site, and i hope you can answer. Do you offer french kissing? How is it with oral without condom? Mutual oral? Can we have sex in all positions? Can we do it multiple rounds? Where can i come? On body, face, in mouth? Can we have sex in shower or bath?
Thanks for answering me.
 
I am looking forward to seeing you.
Kisses

This wanker did not get a reply from me   >:(


3 Email

Hello Xxxxx,
I am just enquiring to see if you might ever like a domestic slave to visit you, I could clean your flat, kiss your feet or anything else you need me for. I am a white male non-smoker living and working in xxxx. My telephone number is (020)xxxx-xxxx or I can call you sometime. This is a totally genuine enquiry and I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Thanks,
Brian.

I am really tempted to help this one relive his slave fantasy for free  ::)


4. Phone call yesturday

Him: Hello is this xxx

Me: Yes this is Xxxxx
Him: Are you available latter today/
Me: Yes I am
Him: I was wondering if I could just drop by to say hello and see how we get on and then I will may be book to see you sometime next week
me: Buffled at this point. Sorry this is not how I work its either you book to see me or not I do not offer sampling.
Him: Yes  but I don't want to book for two hours and then find out I may not like you
Me: Sorry but I have never had any one call with such a request and never had any problems with a client turning away during a visit so I would rather you called someone else you are sure about as I wouldn't want to waste my time getting ready only for you not to stay as I feel like this is a time wasting ploy.

kept badgering still adamant and needless to say I had to dismiss him to call someone else as  as I wasn't interested in his proposal.  ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 30 November 2010, 01:33:18 pm
Quote from: lady69 on 30 November 2010, 12:18:25 pm
Him: I was wondering if I could just drop by to say hello and see how we get on and then I will may be book to see you sometime next week

Ugh, this one comes in bunches of variants - I had to actually add a FAQ to my AW profile stating that no, I don't want to meet for a free "coffee and a chat", or whatever they're calling it, no matter how much of a "really nice guy" they are. Because yes, these requests just come from the seriously deluded men who think that A) we're already in our knickers, hooker makeup and stockings so it won't cost us any effort if they just 'pop by' and that B) we're always free to spend 10+ minutes with any random bloke that asks but who doesn't want to pay. As you can clearly see, that's a complete logic fail because if we gave all the fools that asked for free time what they wanted, we'd have zero minutes left in the day to actually work, eat or sleep. But they don't think about that, obviously!

They also casually ignore the fact that part of our fee is a "hazard pay" - we're single women accepting visits in private locations from strange men, after all - and so you can't come to see us for free because then we're taking that huge risk for free. They also "forget" that you can book an indie but if you honestly don't find her attractive, you can explain respectfully that you can't stay and you'll get a 90% refund and be sent merrily on your way, so there's then even less need for this creepy "free glimpse" where they find out a sex worker's address and probably attempt to get in a free grope, too. But I don't know why I'm going over it all here - being totally delusional is obviously far too important to these sorts of guys so they're unlikely to come here looking for a truthful explanation! :P

Grr! People who disrespect our professional work make me so cross!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 30 November 2010, 01:47:49 pm
Phone call just now
Withheld: Tell me about yourself
River: Your phone number is withheld. Call me back without withholding it

Phone rings again
BB*: Tell me about yourself
River: I already did a while ago
BB: I don't remember
River: You want bareback sex
BB: What's that?
River: Penetration without a condom
BB: A stuttering start of a response
River: I will never see you; go away~~~~~& I hung  up


*BB>>> I log any number this way if they want bareback sex
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady69 on 30 November 2010, 02:40:06 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 30 November 2010, 01:33:18 pm
Grr! People who disrespect our professional work make me so cross!

hmmm me three these kind of guys are all Delusional, Just because there is sex involved and they think with their other head; means they do not acknowledge for a second that this is our source of income and therefore how we pay our expensive  bills however good we are about making them feel like kings.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Camille on 14 December 2010, 10:30:24 pm
That was that twat 'Patel' who stalked me last year, he visited my apartment past midnight whilst I was looking outside my window! went to the Police and did nothing.


Quote from: naughtyholly on 16 September 2010, 12:07:24 am
A text that I received today:

Hi can you do st albans, asap. Do you take credit card payments? X

i haven't even bothered to reply.

Also, has anyone else been getting texts from someone calling themselves 'Patel' offering 12,000 pounds for 4 days work. He sends me them every other day now for the past couple of weeks. It went quiet for a week or so then started again over the last week or so! My motto: if it sounds too good to be true, then it usually is!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amalia on 18 December 2010, 11:10:32 pm
Hi all,

 I just got this mail in my inbox, looks like an other idiot trying to get something,
HOpe you're all well, and keep yourselves warm in this weather

X
Amalia



Hi  Amalia,
 
I acquired your e-mail address from A/W, i really enjoyed reading your profile and you sound stunning!!! i live in Tongham GU10  which is 5 miles from Guildford, would love you to visit me for an hour, i am very tactile, love lots of cuddleing, caressing, french kissing and especially giving oral, for as long as you wanted me to, i,d love to taste your sweet love juice as you orgasm in my mouth!!
 
If you do decide to visit[ hope you do!!! ] on arrival, would you change in to a mini skirt, hold ups, heels  [ higher the better!!! ] with a blouse and wearing sexy matching bra & panties?
 
Hoping for a favourable reply
 
Love J***    xxxxxxxxxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady69 on 24 December 2010, 09:44:59 am
Text received a minute ago from someone I have seen only once a few weeks ago

Him: Hi XXXX I am gonna be in town tonight on my own just wondering if you wanted some company? x

Me: Scratching my head as his offer for free company is very enticing Err not!

My reply sorry babes not working today until January as I am going to be with family and friends  the whole time x

ha! no reply as yet hmmmmm
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 24 December 2010, 12:58:47 pm
Ooh, I've got one for this thread! The joyous combination of a bloke who A) never calls, only texts, because he's stupid and B) seems to think it's his decision how many appointments I take in one day.

Him: [Text #12 despite me NEVER replying favourably to any of them] "Hi, r u working today?"

Me: Sorry, just finished! Call tomorrow before 10am if you'd like to arrange something."

Him: "Oh no, I can't do tomoro. Cd I tempt u 2 c me today - I'll make it worth your while?:-)"

Me: By paying double?

Him: "I wish I cd, but I'll put a smile on your face...;)"

Me: Sorry, I just saw someone else who did that already! Also, since you only pester me with last-minute demands, I'd like to request that you no longer contact me at all. Thanks.

Ha, I feel like a bit of a cow now but it felt lovely at the time to finally get him to shut up! Seriously - 12 times he tried to get me to give him an appointment via text. Shy? I think not; manipulative and creepy more like!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 24 December 2010, 01:58:34 pm
Quote from: lady69 on 30 November 2010, 12:18:25 pm
Gosh is this the longest thread of all time?

These Wankers never know when to  stop do they??

1. Email just  a few minutes ago

From: S Cheeky (yes that was his last name)

Hi Xxxxx

I had to write to say i think you are simply perfection.
I think.. you're too good for me to see you.. but i was wondering if guys were allowed to treat or spoil you with gifts somehow. You so totally deserve it.

I hope you are well and keeping warm. x

hmm shall I reply to this one??


2. Another Idiotic email

Hi,
 
I am 23 years old and i am a lawyer. Now i am specialising in public international law and because of that i will be next week in xxxx. And i want to spend a really nice time with a beautiful lady AS YOU. I also have some questions, because i do not see those informations (that are very important for me) on your site, and i hope you can answer. Do you offer french kissing? How is it with oral without condom? Mutual oral? Can we have sex in all positions? Can we do it multiple rounds? Where can i come? On body, face, in mouth? Can we have sex in shower or bath?
Thanks for answering me.
 
I am looking forward to seeing you.
Kisses

This wanker did not get a reply from me   >:(


3 Email

Hello Xxxxx,
I am just enquiring to see if you might ever like a domestic slave to visit you, I could clean your flat, kiss your feet or anything else you need me for. I am a white male non-smoker living and working in xxxx. My telephone number is (020)xxxx-xxxx or I can call you sometime. This is a totally genuine enquiry and I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Thanks,
Brian.

I am really tempted to help this one relive his slave fantasy for free  ::)


4. Phone call yesturday

Him: Hello is this xxx

Me: Yes this is Xxxxx
Him: Are you available latter today/
Me: Yes I am
Him: I was wondering if I could just drop by to say hello and see how we get on and then I will may be book to see you sometime next week
me: Buffled at this point. Sorry this is not how I work its either you book to see me or not I do not offer sampling.
Him: Yes  but I don't want to book for two hours and then find out I may not like you
Me: Sorry but I have never had any one call with such a request and never had any problems with a client turning away during a visit so I would rather you called someone else you are sure about as I wouldn't want to waste my time getting ready only for you not to stay as I feel like this is a time wasting ploy.

kept badgering still adamant and needless to say I had to dismiss him to call someone else as  as I wasn't interested in his proposal.  ::)



I don't have a problem with any of these;

Situation 1 I'd just say of course any client is welcome to bring me gifts, 2 answer the questions but to the point(they are all things some ladies don't offer, or who charge extra for), domestic slave - I'd give a list of times and dates I'd be more than happy for him to clean my house(guess what he'll almost definitely not be able to come at those times and actually requires an appointment - which he can't pay for), number 4 I am actually considering this but under my terms since I have had a few chaps visit who I felt weren't ready to meet an escort, or with whom I just didn't get along with. I'd rather see someone who would have a positive experience, and return. By my terms however I do mean at my place of choice, with my phone on, at my convenience and with whatever clothing I may have on at the time. There would be no physical contact at all either and possibly only after I've been sent a photo of the person I'm meeting...............

I don't ignore contact instead I reply to the point, that way if the guy is genuine he has a chance and if not he doesn't get what he is hoping for.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 28 December 2010, 12:04:44 am
"Hey, I was wondering, because you channelled on me a couple of weeks ago do you think I could get any kind of discount if I tried to book you for this wednesday evening please? Xxx mike"

The only time I have ever canceled a booking was this one and it was when the weather was so bad people were trapped on scotlands biggest motorway AND on the same day as this booking the weather was so bad we cancelled a hospital appointment my husband had been waiting for!!! AND my profile clearly states I rely on public transport AND he has the nerve to ask for a discount!!!!!!

I have ignored it but my OH suggested this as a response..

"Hi mike.. Dure to the recent horrendous weather losing me so much work I am going to be increasing my prices but what I can do for you is charge you my old rates. Jem X x X"

ha ha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 28 December 2010, 12:33:20 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 30 November 2010, 01:47:49 pm
Phone call just now
Withheld: Tell me about yourself
Jodie: Your phone number is withheld. Call me back without withholding it

Phone rings again
BB*: Tell me about yourself
Jodie: I already did a while ago
BB: I don't remember
Jodie: You want bareback sex
BB: What's that?
Jodie: Penetration without a condom
BB: A stuttering start of a response
Jodie: I will never see you; go away~~~~~& I hung  up


*BB>>> I log any number this way if they want bareback sex

I'm same as you Jodie, though might not have been as polite.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 28 December 2010, 12:37:19 pm
Quote from: iluvjem on 28 December 2010, 12:04:44 am
"Hey, I was wondering, because you channelled on me a couple of weeks ago do you think I could get any kind of discount if I tried to book you for this wednesday evening please? Xxx mike"

The only time I have ever canceled a booking was this one and it was when the weather was so bad people were trapped on scotlands biggest motorway AND on the same day as this booking the weather was so bad we cancelled a hospital appointment my husband had been waiting for!!! AND my profile clearly states I rely on public transport AND he has the nerve to ask for a discount!!!!!!

I have ignored it but my OH suggested this as a response..

"Hi mike.. Dure to the recent horrendous weather losing me so much work I am going to be increasing my prices but what I can do for you is charge you my old rates. Jem X x X"

ha ha

I've had cheeky articles (another word for twats) asking me if I have discount cos its christmas/new year.

To which I reply .............. if everyone else is on holiday then I should be charging time and a half or double time like most blokes expect on hols.  Seems to get rid of them.  This is another reason I dont work at weekends - they are time for MEEEEEE !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April Showers on 28 December 2010, 02:44:23 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 30 November 2010, 01:47:49 pm
Phone call just now
Withheld: Tell me about yourself
Jodie: Your phone number is withheld. Call me back without withholding it

Phone rings again
BB*: Tell me about yourself
Jodie: I already did a while ago
BB: I don't remember
Jodie: You want bareback sex
BB: What's that?
Jodie: Penetration without a condom
BB: A stuttering start of a response
Jodie: I will never see you; go away~~~~~& I hung  up


*BB>>> I log any number this way if they want bareback sex

I am now thinking eek  i have always put my regulars name in and bb for been before i have done this since the 90,s as i never thought of  (bareback ) any one who asks for anything stupid is under idiot or dont answer or wanker  or blocked ...............maybe i will change them all to sb seen before .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 02 January 2011, 02:29:21 am
Quote
No worries hun just looking forward to seeing your hot body in the flesh ;) One more qu and I hopt this isnt out of line, but you dont happen to know anyone who you could get me some coke from do you? I was hoping to get some for tonight, but my guy isnt around...
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 02 January 2011, 08:41:53 am
I got a couple of gems last night on AW - it's always quite funny checking my emails in bed in the morning. :P

Quote
Hey,

After reading your profile I must say theres no need to look any further, you seem like the ideal lady to meet...Im 30 years old clean, healthy and fun to be around...I'd like to make a booking with you...for our first meet I'd like to see you for 30 minutes for a chat some touching and kissing no sex for ?70...And if the chemistry is there then we can arrange an overnight together where I will treat you like the lady you are...

Please leave a number so I can arrange a suitable time with you...

T***

x

OMG a potential overnight! I'd better go and service him real good for ?70 if I want to get that super-loooong booking later! He's definitely not making up complete nonsense! ;D Love the additional touch of him not bothering to read my profile at all, cos my number is actually on there. I'm guessing this message was spammed to hundreds of escorts on AW, which is obviously making me sob in despair - I thought I was going to make so much cash from this guy!

The next one is a little more mysterious:

Quote
Are you Christian?

I will tell you why I am asking if we come to an agreement.

I'm sooo almost tempted to reply. But unfortunately, in these situations, the answer is only ever an unsolicited dick pic, or a message describing cunnilingus in quite an off-putting fashion, or something even worse - so we can never win. Le sigh!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 02 January 2011, 11:52:53 am
Phone rings.... 12:15am 01/01/2011

I mean seriously!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: scottishmilf on 03 January 2011, 06:45:49 pm
aww this one put an odd sorta smile on my face..  ::)
Quote
hi hun

I would like to offer a friendship for you, friends with benefits. Im an easy going, laid back, fun, friendly and down to earth person who can put the most nervous of ladies at ease. Im a good listener, enjoy good conversation, kind, caring and very sexual person who loves the company of ladies .I like to treat a lady with respect and ensure our time together is an experience you will enjoy. I do however have a naughty side to me in the bedroom if this is what you prefer. I have been told i am very well endowed so if its a well hung guy your looking for then look no further!
Please let me know if you are interested. Hope to hear from you soon.

Cheers
Sam


love how he thinks il be nervous uno doing the job we do im OBVIOUSLY going to be nervous all the time :P so considerate ;) and you know i would just love a friendship with benefits cas i just don't get enough sex ...  ;)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 03 January 2011, 11:11:29 pm
FUMING!!!!!! Please calm me down ladies  >:(

My profile and website  specifically states guys have to call for a booking or alternatively use the AW booking system the night before they would like a booking  as I don't get emails at work.

Predictably, I still get loads of booking requests in the morning or afternoon for same day  ::) , and I always reply politely "Sorry I missed your request as I don't get emails when at work, feel free to book another time though x"

as I did with this guy.

I got this reply from him -

"Ok well I won't leave negative feedback this time, but sorry I certainly won't be booking again"

arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!

If you followed the bloody procedures you would (unfortunately for me probably) got a booking, since you obviously cannot read, then no need to be sorry - I'm glad I didn't have to see you you arrogant t**t
 >:( >:( ;D ;D >:(

I was thinking about actually leaving him negative feedback but the booking request was never even read or accepted so it would be 'feedback only' and he might leave me some vile stuff back. My rating is only 5 so probably can't afford the bad comment back from this idiot. However if it was higher I would do it on balance!

Thanks for letting me vent!

Phew! and breathe....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 04 January 2011, 11:23:23 pm
Email 22:41pm "Hi my name is david and I have been working part time for the last year since I graduated from university. For the last 5 months I have been assisting in modelling for pictures. These pictures are generally for adultwork members. My most popular demand is for private gallery doing cock shots etc as I have an 8 inch penis and has been popular for private gallery. Some clients have given me a small fee while others have exchanged services. At the moment looking for new clients. Thank you. Feel free to email me x"

Email 22:57 "Any interest to yourself x"

Reply "no! I must get 4/5 emails like this a week!"

Email "Oh really. Your the first person that has said that. It's not so much taking pics it's more modelling cock pics fir your private gallery. Very genuine. X"


Of course you're genuine for a freebie hunter! All freebie hunters are genuine!! lol  ::)

**also just noticed for having such high demand on AW he only joined 20 minutes before he emailed me!!!! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Claudia Reina on 05 January 2011, 12:56:44 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 02 January 2011, 08:41:53 am
Quote
Hey,

After reading your profile I must say theres no need to look any further, you seem like the ideal lady to meet...Im 30 years old clean, healthy and fun to be around...I'd like to make a booking with you...for our first meet I'd like to see you for 30 minutes for a chat some touching and kissing no sex for ?70...And if the chemistry is there then we can arrange an overnight together where I will treat you like the lady you are...

Please leave a number so I can arrange a suitable time with you...

T***

x

I had one of these today, he wants to pay only one third >:( of my fee because he swears he will become a regular....Yeah, right...Why do they think that we are that stupid?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 05 January 2011, 09:13:29 pm
Quote from: iluvjem on 04 January 2011, 11:23:23 pm
Email 22:41pm "Hi my name is david and I have been working part time for the last year since I graduated from university. For the last 5 months I have been assisting in modelling for pictures. These pictures are generally for adultwork members. My most popular demand is for private gallery doing cock shots etc as I have an 8 inch penis and has been popular for private gallery. Some clients have given me a small fee while others have exchanged services. At the moment looking for new clients. Thank you. Feel free to email me x"

Email 22:57 "Any interest to yourself x"

Reply "no! I must get 4/5 emails like this a week!"

Email "Oh really. Your the first person that has said that. It's not so much taking pics it's more modelling cock pics fir your private gallery. Very genuine. X"


Of course you're genuine for a freebie hunter! All freebie hunters are genuine!! lol  ::)

**also just noticed for having such high demand on AW he only joined 20 minutes before he emailed me!!!! lol

I got him too! He actually emailed last night and I deleted after skimming through his email, then he emailed me again tonight 2 mins after I went on DirectChat. I'M NOT FUCKING INTERESTED IN YOUR COCK BEING IN MY PICTURES!

They all think they are so original!!!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nanako on 06 January 2011, 03:15:03 pm
Contact in a chatroom I'm on, yesterday. I've spoken to this guy before, and though I can't remember exactly what we discussed, I certainly never told him to treat me like this :(

Names censored to protect the silly

Quote
him: You
me: me?
him: Give me your number, I tried to get you a while ago
him: Yes, you
him: and your msn
me: haii
him: I'm feeling affressive
him: *aggressive
him: hurry up, Slut
me: I'm feeling like not giving my number to someone
who's aggressive, sir
him: verbally aggressive Slut
him: domineering
him: Slut?
me: You're very scary sir
him: You don't need to be scared
me: I think you should calm down and contact me
again at a later time
him: You just need to comply
him: We've spoken before
him: I want to hire you
him: but want to talk to you first
me: we can talk just fine here sir
him: msn?
him: I want to see you
me: I have pictures on my profile
him: on cam
me: I don't do camshows sir
him: You're no use to be Slut, you;'re not a proper sub
him lost connection and left the room.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CrazyGothChick on 06 January 2011, 07:04:26 pm
Geez Nanako. That guy sounds like a douche. Ignore him, you're better than that.

"Hi my name is Philxxx"
I know. fuck off.

"Hi louise. can i get a strap-on, bj, cum on tits, fist you and then get bareback sex."
I hope a brick falls and knocks sense into him. :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nanako on 07 January 2011, 09:16:05 am
Quote from: CrazyGothChick on 06 January 2011, 07:04:26 pm
Geez Nanako. That guy sounds like a douche. Ignore him, you're better than that.

Thank you *hugs* ^_^
I don't mind the names at all, it's kind of my thing, but he seemed potentially violent and that's a big no.

Quote
"Hi my name is Philxxx"
I know. fuck off.

I get these too. They are annoying but I try to be polite. A well written copy-pasted form reply works wonders.
Quote
"Hi louise. can i get a strap-on, bj, cum on tits, fist you and then get bareback sex."
I hope a brick falls and knocks sense into him. :)

I bet he wouldn't last past the second stage anyway :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CrazyGothChick on 07 January 2011, 06:08:59 pm
"there, do you do car meets ? thanks xx"
^^He did Bareback with an infamous bb escort...

Mark: Since I booked you can you tell me... What you wearing?"
Me: Your skull over my head
Mark: What's that?
Me: Google "Cubone"
Mark: I don't get it.
Me: Once I kill you for being annoying, I am going to wear your skull over my head as a warning to other punters to not being so fucking stupid and annoying.
^^I'm so cruel at times.

Client: Can you origanise a moresome with me?
Me: No, you can do that yourself and I'll take ?150 per head and it has to be done in a hotel!
^^Just no...

Quote from: Nanako on 07 January 2011, 09:16:05 am
Quote from: CrazyGothChick on 06 January 2011, 07:04:26 pm
"Hi my name is Philxxx"
I know. fuck off.

I get these too. They are annoying but I try to be polite. A well written copy-pasted form reply works wonders.

I admire you for being so polite :) I can't be polite at times. Clients drive my patience away. A disgrace to the human race.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Claudia Reina on 07 January 2011, 07:03:32 pm
Quote from: CrazyGothChick on 07 January 2011, 06:08:59 pm
Mark: Since I booked you can you tell me... What you wearing?"
Me: Your skull over my head
Mark: What's that?
Me: Google "Cubone"
Mark: I don't get it.
Me: Once I kill you for being annoying, I am going to wear your skull over my head as a warning to other punters to not being so fucking stupid and annoying.
^^I'm so cruel at times.

LOL!!! ;D ;D
What a good answer, if it's not copyrighted, I'll try it next time ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 10 January 2011, 01:46:04 pm
I offer a social service at ?50/hour, or at a flat rate of ?50 in some circumstances. It's not a big draw, but some guys appreciate it. Of course, some other guys go blind as soon as they see "?50/hour".

I do try to help. This is what it says on my Crib Sheet (the first page after age confirmation):

Quote
Social (no sex included!)
?50/hour, or ?50 flat rate to add time for lunch/dinner to an intimate booking.

And from my rates page:

Quote
Social escorting: ?50/hour. May be negotiable for longer bookings. Social rates do not include sexual services of any kind!
Add dinner or lunch before or after any full service booking for ?50. This is not timed.
Trial dinner/lunch meet: If you want to find out how we get on before booking personal time, we can meet for a meal within Brighton & Hove for just ?50.
Trial mini meet: Free! If you're able to meet me for a quick drink at a time and place convenient for me.

So anyway, I got this on christmas afternoon:

Quote
Hi Anika,
 
I had gone through your website some time back and I need some clarifications.
 
I read about social escorting in your site where you charge 50 GBP per hour. What exact services do you offer as a part of this?
I am expecting to be in your place for 30 mins and having a GFE kind of experience (no sexual intercourse) hugging you, kissing you including french kiss, touching your private parts, kissing your lips, neck, ears and chest  etc.,
 
I cant' too much money so please clarify what do you offer as a part of social escoring at your place.
 
I hope i have reached the right mail id, if not then please apologize. I had taken the email id from the below sit:
http://www.allgirltogaparty.co.uk/contact.php
 
Regards
R***

Yup, that's how I like to socialise. ::)

My main question is, did he specify half an hour because his budget is ?25?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NubianTemptress on 10 January 2011, 02:46:18 pm
LOOOOOOOOL..

Yep Anika, he wants to touch you up for 30 mins at 25 quid!

If I were you, I'd change the line on the website to say NO SEXUAL CONTACT of any kind.
Because he's trying to be smart, saying I'm not having services performed just contact  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 10 January 2011, 03:17:18 pm
Quote from: NubianTemptress on 10 January 2011, 02:46:18 pm
LOOOOOOOOL..

Yep Anika, he wants to touch you up for 30 mins at 25 quid!

If I were you, I'd change the line on the website to say NO SEXUAL CONTACT of any kind.
Because he's trying to be smart, saying I'm not having services performed just contact  ;)

Eurgh, that's even more of a scary image - wanting to pay ?25 for a woman to sit completely passive, still and silent on a sofa while he gropes her vigorously? Yuck! Wouldn't a blow-up doll be better?? I'm sure you can get one of those for even cheaper, and they definitely don't interrupt with their damn lady-demands for proper payment and mutual respect. :-X

It's mad and sad how imaginative they get trying to figure out how to get the most services for the least money by "playing" your stated rates/services, not realising that it's not a mix-n-match menu (for us indie/GFE-types) where you get rewarded with a 99p shag if you plan it right. ::) I had someone email last week with a long description of a roleplay scenario he wanted (even though I don't even OFFER roleplay as standard) involving us meeting in a public place and pretending to be strangers, getting all hot'n'heavy there (though working in public really doesn't appeal to me, eurgh!) before I "drag [him] back to [mine] and bonk [his] brains out" - all within 29 minutes, apparently, cos he only wanted to pay the half-hour incall fee. I had to explain that it would A) be an outcall, B) take at least 40 minutes and C) involve a service that I don't even offer to the general public, so the charge would be double what he was planning on! Funnily enough, no response. Poor silly.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NubianTemptress on 10 January 2011, 04:27:04 pm
Emily, I'm rather surprised he didn't want all that in 15 mins cos he sounds like a 15 minute quickie guy to me, so he probably was pushing the boat out there. 

The last of the big spenders  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Claudia Reina on 10 January 2011, 04:49:37 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 10 January 2011, 03:17:18 pm

Eurgh, that's even more of a scary image - wanting to pay ?25 for a woman to sit completely passive, still and silent on a sofa while he gropes her vigorously? Yuck!

It's offtopic but I had a regular like this - he payed my full fee though:). He just came in, greeted me and started to kiss  and lick  and touch me everywhere and that's how we spent the whole booking! He never let me touch him, nor wanted to do anything else than this. It was very easy money but he never was in my "favourite clients" list...It was rather disgusting.

Back to  the topic :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 10 January 2011, 04:53:01 pm
Quote from: NubianTemptress on 10 January 2011, 02:46:18 pm
If I were you, I'd change the line on the website to say NO SEXUAL CONTACT of any kind.
Because he's trying to be smart, saying I'm not having services performed just contact  ;)

I didn't think about it that way, but I don't think that's the case since he mentioned services offered in his email. I thought about making the cribsheet bit more explicit, but decided against it since that's meant to be short and sweet, and it does the job for most people. There are no words that could ever stop all of the stupid requests.

(Actually, I do have a client who likes me to lie passively while he gropes me, for my full fee. He's a nice guy I've been seeing on and off for six years though, and we're totally clear that the stuff he likes is creepy :).)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 10 January 2011, 05:57:25 pm
Come to think of it, I suppose I've known one or two one-off clients who didn't seem to require me to do anything (react, or moan orgasmically, or even make eye contact!) while they just sort of "probed" at me extensively and wanked themselves off. Never thought much about it (most likely due to being a bit squicked out; I can imagine that this "human doll" type thing might well be a fetish, since almost anything can be, but it's definitely not one of mine) til now.

I suppose it was the ?25 idea that made it truly horrifying!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 10 January 2011, 08:26:54 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 10 January 2011, 05:57:25 pm
Come to think of it, I suppose I've known one or two one-off clients who didn't seem to require me to do anything (react, or moan orgasmically, or even make eye contact!) while they just sort of "probed" at me extensively and wanked themselves off. Never thought much about it (most likely due to being a bit squicked out; I can imagine that this "human doll" type thing might well be a fetish, since almost anything can be, but it's definitely not one of mine) til now.

Ha, that sounds great, it is one of mine. If I've had any other clients who were into that I suppose I didn't notice because because being wanked at turns me on, so if they wanted me to keep quiet they'd have to ask. I have had a few where I ended up not responding and they seemed ok with that, but I put those down to very sad cases of men who never worked out how to touch another person and don't have any personal experience of aroused women.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Richard on 11 January 2011, 10:28:57 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 10 January 2011, 05:57:25 pm
Come to think of it, I suppose I've known one or two one-off clients who didn't seem to require me to do anything (react, or moan orgasmically, or even make eye contact!) while they just sort of "probed" at me extensively and wanked themselves off.

I was thinking that about a fifth of clients never wanted me to do anything except just stand/sit/lie there while they went down on me, but last night I had a flashback to someone who wanted this.

In a recreational setting with someone I trusted, I'd have been into it. With him, it was a bit too Dennis Nilsen and once was very definitely enough.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 12 January 2011, 09:36:31 am
Quote from: Richard on 11 January 2011, 10:28:57 pm
I was thinking that about a fifth of clients never wanted me to do anything except just stand/sit/lie there while they went down on me, but last night I had a flashback to someone who wanted this.

Mhm, and it was definitely something I only experienced when I was with an agency - who do portray girls as doll-like, airbrushed, personality-devoid creatures, anyway! (And no, I don't think "Emily enjoys going to the gym and meeting older men!" counts as humanising detail. ;)) Now I market my personality so much that it must be really off-putting to guys looking for something more... silent. But I'm sure if they specified beforehand the service they were looking for, plenty of sex workers would be up for it? And since adult baby-minding is a tickable option on AW I can't see why a fetish for passivity can be so unspeakable?!

[Oh my god, I had to look up "Dennis Nilson" and almost vommed up my breakfast just scanning his Wiki page! Argh. :-X]

Bleurgh, anyway, back on-topic. I got this email the other day and felt like it was the most perfect candidate for this thread that I've ever received!

-------------------
To: Webmaster

From:
Jack
jack-the-ripper@****.co.uk

Message:
Thursday 13th January 2011
1.00pm
1 Hour Incall
-------------------

Terrifying in its brevity, too!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CrazyGothChick on 12 January 2011, 10:32:05 am
I laughed so hard at that Jack the Ripper email. Jack the Ripper was in my dream last night and we had serious talk about an escort I used to know going through trouble. But JTR is in my dreams everynight and is prolly friendlier than a number of the guys who phone me. Yet my bf is still deeply concerned about these dreams but they are only dreams.

Had an idiot on Monday call
Him: Hi, I saw your ad on AW and want to know what gfe is.
Me: I pretend to be your gf with kissing, etc
Him: That's great. I haven't had my giro in this week, would I be able to get a discount?

I hung up.

20 Mins later.

Him trying to be funny: Hi I'm looking for romancing?
Me in a fake us accent: This Jennifer Nettles from Sugarland fame, how did ya get ma cell numbar? ... Are you calling me a prostitute? Well, ya 1 sorry lad who pays for sex. I tell you, what! Loser!
Him: Sorry I got the wrong number.

And he never called again. Haha :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 12 January 2011, 11:32:07 am
This one isn't that interesting, but I'm wondering if he's sending boring three word requests to everyone, or if he actually has some kind of thing for me.

This is by email, and when he restarted the conversation it was with an re:.

C (back in June): hi, i am c****.
i am interested in meeting u for some fun times...when can we meet?

Me: If you tell me what time period you have in mind then I can tell you if I have some time available then.

C: mid july i will be there...

Me: Why on earth didn't you say that in the first place then? Did you think if you vaguely asked about my availability I'd work out that you were talking about something three weeks in advance? Or that I'd give you a detailed schedule for the next month?

If you want to book by email rather than over the phone, you must be able to give me most of the information I need without me having to tease it out of you, or I'll just lose patience. If you don't think I'm too bossy and mean to shag now, think about whether there are any other important details you've left out.

C (yesterday): hey...can we meet?

Me: I haven't blacklisted you, if that's what you're asking. You'll have to act like a real client though, not just someone who has a disturbing number of escort emails addresses to hand.

C: i am a real client...when?

Me: I told you off for that last time. Tell me when, where, how long and how you want to meet, or this isn't happening. If you're not ok with getting across more than one thought at a time, you can use the phone.

C: when r u free? a couple hrs. depending on the rate? incall?

And I'm not bothering after that. I think I'm being a bit mean even though he's totally useless, but what tipped it is the email addresses I referred to. He also sent a generic happy holidays email to me and about 200 other escorts and agencies, and he was only about half way through the Bs! That's not suggesting anything good.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NubianTemptress on 14 January 2011, 12:58:47 am
I've just had to set a client straight on a few things.  He's previously cammed and phone chatted with me on several occasions but has now decided to take it a step further and make a booking with me after several months of umming and ahh-ing.

He really annoyed me this evening, bothering me on my yahoo, giving me drips n drabs of information when I'm here trying to sort things out for the website.  I'm going to copy the email I sent him below.  He sent me an apology, but one more step out of line and I'll have no hesitation in cancelling the booking for tomorrow.. or should I say later on today.  He's already got my back up!

To be honest, I'll just set you straight on a few things, because you've annoyed me to the point where I'm almost ready to cancel this booking.
 
Firstly, yes I appreciate your custom, but should I somehow show you eternal gratitude because you decided to see me and not another woman in Earls Court? Not quite sure if I was 1st or 2nd choice here, but I really didn't need to know you changed your mind and decided to see me.  Let me put it this way, how would you feel if I turned and told you that I was going to see someone else but decided to see you instead?
 
Telling me about your previous WG experiences is of no interest to me.  Are you expecting me to live up to their expectations?  Because I'm simply ME and I'll do my best to ensure you have a great experience, but if you constantly need to tell me about them, then I think the best thing for you to do would be to go and see one of them.
 
I'm here on the PC trying to sort info out for my website which is under development, hence the reason I'm here.  I politely asked you to send me your requirements in an email, as I don't actually have time to receive it in "drips and drabs".
 
I have repeat clients both on cam and for escort bookings that are happy with the way in which I conduct myself, they've left field reports and feedback in testimony of this.  If that's not enough for you to feel confident, despite seeing me on cam and speaking to me numerous times, then I don't know what is but I'm not here touting for business, I don't need to.
 
You've annoyed me tonight honestly.  I won't say anymore apart from the fact that I only see respectful clients and anyone who falls outside that remit will not be seen.  As it's not my job I really don't need to be patronized, compared and made to feel as though I should be grateful for a booking.  I'd rather not have any if that's the case.

 ::)
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: scottishmilf on 17 January 2011, 03:58:55 pm
Quote
hiya

what is the youngest girl you will go with in a 3sum?

xx


Why bother?. I was so close to writing a fuming email back but decided it would be silly so he is getting ignored.  just wondering if everyone gets these as i get this type ALOT....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Meg_Foster on 20 January 2011, 07:55:23 am
Booking One: Public "date" The client spends the entire evening playing with candle-wax, asking: "Soooo...watcha gonna talk 'bout next?" and asking me to sing variations of his favorite songs. Evening ends with him playing with a big branch near the spree. Seriously felt like I was babysitting a fourteen year old who didn't want to be babysat.

At the end, the fellow asks if I'm willing to see him again.

It'd been a slow two weeks, said yes.

Emailed to ask when and where he wanted to meet.

Got an email back along the lines of: I'll give you 600 euros and we can do whatever you want. Followed by a six page description of his desires, ranging from "riding a horse bareback" to "planting something" to "making someone smile"

It was like "escort-get's-punked" or something.

Turns out the guy is a middle aged heart surgeon. What the fuck?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 20 January 2011, 08:44:50 am
Quote from: zugi9 on 17 January 2011, 03:58:55 pm
Quote
hiya
what is the youngest girl you will go with in a 3sum?
xx

Why bother?. I was so close to writing a fuming email back but decided it would be silly so he is getting ignored. 

Quite right to ignore him, but...

'I have a lowest IQ I'm willing to see, and you clearly fall below it.'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 20 January 2011, 11:36:43 am
Quote from: zugi9 on 17 January 2011, 03:58:55 pm
Quote
hiya

what is the youngest girl you will go with in a 3sum?

xx

!! lol He emailed me yesterday! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 20 January 2011, 04:36:45 pm
Quote
hiya
what is the youngest girl you will go with in a 3sum?
xx

How young do you want to go?
Yes I can offer access to a number of young girls.
Please ring my booking number 0300 123 1212
Ask for the Child Abuse Investigation Team.
and book up with the The Serious Case Team
who investigate serious assaults against children.

I look forward to giving evidence in  court, {FOAD}
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tsescortvikki on 20 January 2011, 09:34:57 pm
Omg Jodie, what is wrong with these people, they are sick!! I used to get that occasionally
as a phone op I get a caller wanting to chat about under age, I'd cut him off and did 1471 and reported it to
the phone line company immediately. Its sickening that these creatures exist.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 21 January 2011, 02:07:39 pm
Hi all, Haven't posted for AGES but I just had to share this gem with you all
Phonecall earlier today

Him: 'Hi, I was wondering if you would see me for an hours incall for ?80 today?'
Me: I'm sorry my rate for an hours incall is ?120
Him: Oh I know it says that on your site but I noticed that you are getting on a bit (30!!!) and I thought that probably means you don't get a lot of enquiries so you might see me for a bit less'

If only he hadn't missed that last term at finishing school eh? Life could have been so so different ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 21 January 2011, 02:14:22 pm
Hahaha Simone that's awful! Even if he'd been right (though in what universe is 30 'getting on a bit'!) an attitude like that is the worst way to get a discount :P

I got a wacky one this week. I guess I kind of ask for stuff like this, because I do say that I'm open to being asked about services not listed on my site. It's mainly for people who are into something like foot fetishes, that I'm happy to go along with but I'm not knowledgable enough to feel confident listing as a service, or who have a really specific fetish (red lingerie and blue lipstick and the man wearing women's underwear and arguing about politics... or something) that doesn't include anything too scary but that I would never think of on my own. It's not aimed at, well, this:

Hi you sead you open minded and open to new kink well i have this thing about frogs you holding them putting them down your bra and pants kissing and licking the bellys its not hurting them and i can get frogs from our pond then they go straight back after we use them think its the power over a wild animal that get me going also making out with barbie doll i can supply them too i know im stange just wondered if you do anything like that.

 :o :o :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 21 January 2011, 02:23:37 pm
Quote from: Krystal Champagne on 21 January 2011, 02:14:22 pm
Hahaha Simone that's awful! Even if he'd been right (though in what universe is 30 'getting on a bit'!) an attitude like that is the worst way to get a discount :P

I got a wacky one this week. I guess I kind of ask for stuff like this, because I do say that I'm open to being asked about services not listed on my site. It's mainly for people who are into something like foot fetishes, that I'm happy to go along with but I'm not knowledgable enough to feel confident listing as a service, or who have a really specific fetish (red lingerie and blue lipstick and the man wearing women's underwear and arguing about politics... or something) that doesn't include anything too scary but that I would never think of on my own. It's not aimed at, well, this:

Hi you sead you open minded and open to new kink well i have this thing about frogs you holding them putting them down your bra and pants kissing and licking the bellys its not hurting them and i can get frogs from our pond then they go straight back after we use them think its the power over a wild animal that get me going also making out with barbie doll i can supply them too i know im stange just wondered if you do anything like that.

 :o :o :o

Oh my bloody good god!!! Ah ha ha haaaaaaa. I love the way he thinks that sticking the poor frogs down your bra and pants wouldn't be animal cruelty in anyway either ;D I really wouldn't like to be one of the frogs in that guys pond, poor little things must be living a life of utter trauma! 'The power over a wild animal' bit is great as well, he must have a very low opinion of himself if he is getting a kick over harnessing the strength of a little frog!
I guess his only saving grace is that he actually admits that he is strange :o

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 21 January 2011, 08:08:51 pm
Quote from: Simone on 21 January 2011, 02:07:39 pm
Him: Oh I know it says that on your site but I noticed that you are getting on a bit (30!!!) and I thought that probably means you don't get a lot of enquiries so you might see me for a bit less'

Round of applause for that tit! lol It's never good when even the ladies you pay pity you! lol

I actually had someone the other day text me asking if he could get a discount because he lives in my area, I didnt really see the relevance there especially when i dont charge them my travel costs lol  ???

Great phonecall tonight too.. "hi there i am a driver looking for new ladies too work for in the Manchester area!"

Dont sell yourself well mate as your sense of direction must be crap! (seeing as i love in scotland  ;D)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: scottishmilf on 23 January 2011, 11:48:06 am
Ok this one made me propper have the giggles :L
Quote
From Mr Sahidi Mahmuod
 
Dear Good Friend,
 
How are you together with your family members?I think all is well. Despite  the fact that I did not know you in person or  have i seen you before but due to the reliable revelation,I decided to share this lucrative opportunity with you, I have no other choice, so  kindly consider this message as vital, believing that sooner or later we will be multi millonaires,First and foremost, I have to introduce myself to you.
 
I am  MR.SAHIDI MAHMUOD, THE FOREIGN OPERATIONS MANAGER OF OUR BANK here in my country, BURKINA FASO WEST AFRICA. I am married with two children.I want you to assist me in other to transfer the sum of TWENTYT FIVE, FIVE Million United States Currency ($25.500,000.00) into your reliable account as the Next of Kin to our Foreign Business partner , the original owner of the fund.
 
He was a foreigner and a multi company holder who died in a plane crash with his family years ago, he deposited the fund in our bank for his business expansion in Africa unfortunately he met this sudden and untimely death and the worst  thing that happened was the wife who suppose to be the  successor of the account died alongside with him.
 
Since the deceased left no body behind to  claim the fund, as a foreigner, you are in better position for that, and no body will come for the claim after you have applied.If you are ready to assist me, set up a new bank account or forward to me any one avialable so that the process will commence.
 
I will guide you on how you should apply for the claim so that everything will be smooth and correct. After the transfer, i will resign and come over to your country for the sharing of the fund 50/50 base on the fact that it is two man business.
 
Finally, note that you are not taking any risk because there will be a legal back up as  we commence. Further information will be given to you as soon as I receive.
 
Fill this information
Your Full Names........................
Phone Number .........................
Age...........................................
Occupation................................
Country ....................................
 
Your reply.Sincerely,
MR.SAHIDI MAHMUOD.
EMAIL;sahidimahmuod1*@yahoo.com

my phone number +226 7588 6***

like really??  ;D ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 23 January 2011, 11:57:26 am
Sadly everyone gets those.

My favourite recently was one that said, in effect, 'Hello, this is your bank. Someone is claiming to be you and is offering to pay the small fee to withdraw the millions of dollars in your account. Is it really you? Please get back to us, because we would hate to pay it out to the wrong person...'

It's a nice spin on the usual - as in yours - 'Hello, I am a corrupt banker, please pay a small fee to take money out of someone else's account...'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 23 January 2011, 12:13:20 pm
Yes I get those every day.

Last night I got this;

Ruth do you do special offers for young meat, I'm 19.

I've omitted the smilies that made this enquiry more endearing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 24 January 2011, 10:20:09 am
Quote from: strawberry on 23 January 2011, 12:13:20 pm
Yes I get those every day.

Last night I got this;

Ruth do you do special offers for young meat, I'm 19.

I've omitted the smilies that made this enquiry more endearing.

Young meat? Ryth how could possibly you refuse getting your hands on that? ;)

Got an email yesterday morning from a young man naked from the waist down displaying his frankly alarmingly huge errection at me. Email was along the lines of  'Nobody will let me book them because my cock is too big, will you be the exception?'
No sweetheart, I think nobody is letting you book them because you are emailing them pictures of your penis ;D
It might have been the same guy Ruth, fight you for him? ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 24 January 2011, 12:17:33 pm
My guy had already phoned and told me his cock was big, perhaps it is the same one.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 24 January 2011, 12:26:07 pm
Quote from: Simone on 24 January 2011, 10:20:09 am
Got an email yesterday morning from a young man naked from the waist down displaying his frankly alarmingly huge errection at me. Email was along the lines of  'Nobody will let me book them because my cock is too big, will you be the exception?'
No sweetheart, I think nobody is letting you book them because you are emailing them pictures of your penis ;D
It might have been the same guy Ruth, fight you for him? ;D

I've had the same guy send me that email!  He came into my free preview on directcam as well and was begging me to go cam2cam with him so that I could see if I'd be able to 'handle it' if he booked me as an escort. I explained that I only cam2cam in private chat - and if he was so desperate to show me he could pay ?1.50 or so. Obviously he wasn't :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 24 January 2011, 05:34:01 pm
There is one on AW that routinely sends out emails asking if anyone can handle his huge cock as it is a curse not a blessing - can I handle it? see pic on profile.  Ignore!

If he truly has a large penis it is surely a curse as everyone I know ignores him or blocks him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 24 January 2011, 11:35:33 pm
Quote from: Krystal Champagne on 24 January 2011, 12:26:07 pm
Got an email yesterday morning from a young man naked from the waist down displaying his frankly alarmingly huge errection at me. Email was along the lines of  'Nobody will let me book them because my cock is too big, will you be the exception?'
No sweetheart, I think nobody is letting you book them because you are emailing them pictures of your penis ;D
It might have been the same guy Ruth, fight you for him? ;D

Ha! I had a similar text conversation that went like this:

Him: Hi there, im black would see me as some girls wont?
Me: Sure i have no problem with that
Him: I have an huge dick can you handle this?

er.. that'll be why the girls dont see you..you talk about your penis! you penis! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady69 on 25 January 2011, 09:34:23 am
Quote from: Simone on 24 January 2011, 10:20:09 am
Got an email yesterday morning from a young man naked from the waist down displaying his frankly alarmingly huge errection at me. Email was along the lines of  'Nobody will let me book them because my cock is too big, will you be the exception?'
No sweetheart, I think nobody is letting you book them because you are emailing them pictures of your penis ;D
It might have been the same guy Ruth, fight you for him? ;D

Sometimes I wonder what the almighty filled their brains with straw perhaps ?

An Email I got Yesterday


hiya!!! totally georgeous im into humilation and was wondering if this is a
service you provide?? like you to treat me as your puppy dog!!! then humilate me
by making me eat a bowl of dog food offer you 500 for an hour of your time
thanks x

Yeah I am very excited to get ? 500 per hour considering its about 3 times my hourly rate I will believe it when I see it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 25 January 2011, 10:17:10 am
Quote from: lady69 on 25 January 2011, 09:34:23 am
Quote from: Simone on 24 January 2011, 10:20:09 am
Got an email yesterday morning from a young man naked from the waist down displaying his frankly alarmingly huge errection at me. Email was along the lines of  'Nobody will let me book them because my cock is too big, will you be the exception?'
No sweetheart, I think nobody is letting you book them because you are emailing them pictures of your penis ;D
It might have been the same guy Ruth, fight you for him? ;D

Sometimes I wonder what the almighty filled their brains with straw perhaps ?

An Email I got Yesterday


hiya!!! totally georgeous im into humilation and was wondering if this is a
service you provide?? like you to treat me as your puppy dog!!! then humilate me
by making me eat a bowl of dog food offer you 500 for an hour of your time
thanks x

Yeah I am very excited to get ? 500 per hour considering its about 3 times my hourly rate I will believe it when I see it.

Ha ha, theres nothing quite like the 'I was wondering if this is a service you provide?' email is there? I always want to reply, 'Is it on my website ANYWHERE that I provide this service? No it isin't and theres a reason for that, see if you can guess what it is? ;D'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 25 January 2011, 11:50:28 am
Not to sound completely dour but I do find that aspect of this job completely wearing, infuriating and depressing. Why do so many men prefer to try to persuade a sex worker into doing a service she doesn't normally do? Why offer ?500 for humiliation from an escort that doesn't offer it, when you could pay ?150 or less to an escort who's happy to do it and does it all the time?! There's got to be something that particularly turns them on about being so pushy, manipulative and weird. It's not a good side of people to be dealing with, if you ask me, and I won't miss it when I'm out of the biz!

...And to balance out this morbid post, I will just mention that there are lots of good sides of people (like the tipping sides! And the "Thank you for a brilliant hour, I wrote you a positive but non-explicit review to show my appreciation" sides!) and it's nice when you get to deal with them. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 25 January 2011, 12:08:27 pm
Some prat texted me offering me ?1000 for a service I don't provide(A). How silly and as if he would turn up with that much in cash!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 25 January 2011, 12:44:25 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 25 January 2011, 11:50:28 am
Not to sound completely dour but I do find that aspect of this job completely wearing, infuriating and depressing. Why do so many men prefer to try to persuade a sex worker into doing a service she doesn't normally do? Why offer ?500 for humiliation from an escort that doesn't offer it, when you could pay ?150 or less to an escort who's happy to do it and does it all the time?!

It is really frustrating! I sometimes try to explain to them that if I agree to it, I will not know what I'm doing, will be embarassed, will be really really AWFUL at it and they'll have thrown their money away on a bad experience that will be awkward for both of us. And most of them still keep asking me to 'just try it'. Some of them are probably timewasters but I had one yesterday who was willing to spend money, at least on directcam, asking me repetedly to dominate him - I don't know how and he was paying ?1.50 a minute to whine at me and beg me to suddenly get a personality transplant I guess?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady69 on 25 January 2011, 01:17:43 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 25 January 2011, 11:50:28 am
I won't miss it when I'm out of the biz!

me three!  ;-)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 25 January 2011, 06:42:44 pm
I wonder if anyone will take this one up on his offer.


honey

i have a proposal: will you live-in with me in my 2 bedroom flat in london sutton?

i am asian, 32 years, nice built and professionally well settled

by nature i am soft spoken, easy going

you will live-in for free in exchange for ocassional intimacy with me. it will be discreet and safe with no strings attached. you can do outcalls but not incalls

please get in touch if this sounds ok

kisses
loverboy


I do think he should maybe look closer to home though seeing as I am in Derbyshire and he is in London
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 25 January 2011, 06:59:21 pm
Quote from: Danielle_xx on 25 January 2011, 06:42:44 pm
I do think he should maybe look closer to home though seeing as I am in Derbyshire and he is in London

Oh, I'm sure he has. He's come up in this thread before, and I didn't mention that he'd got around to me too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 25 January 2011, 10:25:26 pm
A great text I receieved today and swiftly ignored

"Hey Internet loved like you, Can visit ! Today or 5 pm See where life "

o...k  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nanako on 27 January 2011, 12:12:12 pm
I had a client today who booked a few days ago.

He turned up, came in, then about 20 seconds later complained that he'd left his wallet in the car and ran out to get it. I made sure he didn't steal anything on the way out, which was smart because he never came back :(

He texted later that he'd lost it and had to cancel, but doesn't seem to be replying to an offer to reschedule
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 27 January 2011, 07:06:45 pm
A text message I received 10 min ago...

'I got caught by my gf looking at ur profile today, she left the house upset. As a result of this i want to see u for 1hr today! Hope u wont say no.x'

Oh dear...
 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 27 January 2011, 11:37:27 pm
So much wrong for such a short email, starting with the fact that it was sent at 23:11.

Quote
Hi I am a genuine guy 30 years old staying in Brighton jurys inn near the train station. Can I be cheeky and ask if you could meet tonight for?60  , as that's what I have on me?

I am very genuine and doctor by profession so hope you can give me a chance.

Update: couldn't resist responding. Told him he's a very silly man. He said,

Quote
Sorry, but why do u think I am silly? I am confused, I am very genuine and genuine.

Hee! I'm imagining him as a cute cartoon drunk punter going *hic*.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lolo on 28 January 2011, 01:06:31 am
Hi, I am gym, am forty five , good-looking, toned and tanned body, love the kinkier side of life.
I love your profile and pics..all very horny.
I would suggest that I would like to meet for a couple of hours, because I like long and protracted foreplay.
I would like to meet maybe at a bar and chat, then if this is excites you, for you to be desperate to pee and let it trickle down your thigh and you would see my jeans darken as I can't hold back.
I would have to lick it off your thighs and legs.
You would position yourself so you could spray over me and watch me swallow.
In the room I would slowly peel your clothes off and pour warm oil allover you , deeply massaging your body , in every corner . I would ask you to get on all fours with your georgeous arse in the air and place my Tongue between your buttock cheeks. Licking you and slowly letting my tongue flick over your anus and slowly easing my Tongue in and rimming you deeply , placing my Tongue on your clit until you climax .
I would so like to do this to you ..please let me know if some , all or something you want as well.
You won't be disappointed...with me
Gym x


 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 28 January 2011, 01:13:00 am
OMG, and the pee licking and spraying all happens before you get to the room!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 28 January 2011, 03:04:17 am
Quote from: Lolo on 28 January 2011, 01:06:31 am
and place my Tongue... easing my Tongue...  placing my Tongue

Haha why does he talk about his tongue like that?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 28 January 2011, 09:00:49 am
Quote from: April on 28 January 2011, 03:04:17 am
Quote from: Lolo on 28 January 2011, 01:06:31 am
and place my Tongue... easing my Tongue...  placing my Tongue

Haha why does he talk about his tongue like that?
Quote from: April on 28 January 2011, 03:04:17 am

It sounds like he's trying to exercise his tongue!

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 29 January 2011, 10:18:29 am
23:00  Steven from Watford is a no show.
No response to my phone call or "are you still visiting me" text.
Pa!
I shrug & go to bed. I had a gut feeling he was a timewaster.
I woke this morning to find this text:
Sent: 00:30
Hiya sorry 4 nt replying earlier.
is there any way u cud pick me
up and drop me off? ill pay
extra
Hum, that'll be the Watford taxi company you want.... ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 29 January 2011, 09:33:46 pm
The cheek and brass neck of some of them really astound me Jodie - I'm sure you're the same.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Richard on 30 January 2011, 10:26:03 am
Quote from: April on 28 January 2011, 03:04:17 am
Haha why does he talk about his tongue like that?

Because his penis won't become his Penis?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NubianTemptress on 30 January 2011, 11:32:09 am
Phonecall at 1am from a client who has previously booked  and seen me twice.
Can he have an outcall for 1 hour?
Fully aware that last hourly booking for outcalls taken at 9pm.

Silly me.. shouldn't have answered the phone, usually don't after 11pm.  Will stick to my guns next time  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 01 February 2011, 08:26:56 am
Not strictly 'How not to book' as he already had but a client yesterday came into my incall flat, noticed that the person I rent off has two cats (which stay in living room at all times) and went 'Oh you should have mentioned on the phone when I booked that you have cats, I'm allergic'

Very sorry he was allergic (which I don't believe frankly as he never so much as sneezed once in the hour) but does he really think I'm going to tell everyone who books that theres a cat in the apartment? What next, posting them a survey before the booking to check that they don't have a peanut or shellfish allergy or any lactose intolerance? ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 01 February 2011, 09:38:36 am
Um, actually I would mention it. Pet allergies are common and would spoil things for a moderate sufferer, but they're probably not going to think of it when booking a shag. Also if they're warned they can take antihistamines if they want. (Lactose intolerance is common too, but they have the option of saying "no milk please" if you offer them a cuppa.)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 01 February 2011, 10:28:29 am
Quote from: Simone on 01 February 2011, 08:26:56 am
Not strictly 'How not to book' as he already had but a client yesterday came into my incall flat, noticed that the person I rent off has two cats (which stay in living room at all times) and went 'Oh you should have mentioned on the phone when I booked that you have cats, I'm allergic'

Very sorry he was allergic (which I don't believe frankly as he never so much as sneezed once in the hour) but does he really think I'm going to tell everyone who books that theres a cat in the apartment? What next, posting them a survey before the booking to check that they don't have a peanut or shellfish allergy or any lactose intolerance? ;D

Definately mention it, Put it on your aw add/website. As a cat allergy sufferer I would want to know.
As for the effects you probably would not see any during the booking as mine normally take up to 24 hours before my eyes puff up my nose blocks and my chest becomes too tight to breathe and thats not counting those lovely big red blisters I come out with.

When I worked from my home I had it on all my sites that I had dogs just so that a client could make an informed decision
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 03 February 2011, 04:29:04 pm
would u get involved in a 3 way webcam session between, me you and another AW girl. I want to both to compare boobs/bodies to see whos the best??? Thanks

add me on _______@yahoo.co.uk to discuss


My reply was "Thanks, but a cattle market where my body is nitpicked by a man I don't know is not my idea of fun."

Ugh, would ANYONE ever agree to this?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 03 February 2011, 05:24:28 pm
Oh, he's replied to reassure me that the GIRLS nitpick eachother. Well of course that makes it so much more enjoyable  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 03 February 2011, 05:55:57 pm
I had a phone booking a bit like that once. He wanted two girls pretending to bitch and fight over him. I did it the once, but it was too much effort and I guess the other girl was too enthusiastic or something, because it went over the five minutes he'd booked. I didn't give a toss about what the girl was saying though, just having to come up with nonsense like that myself.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 03 February 2011, 06:18:55 pm
Jesus, you're more patient than me! It sounds way more hassle than it'd be worth.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 03 February 2011, 06:49:10 pm
It was! I didn't do it again.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 03 February 2011, 07:32:51 pm
Heh I'd have probably had an unprofessional moment and hung up :p You're still way more patient than me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 03 February 2011, 10:18:50 pm
Once I realised she wasn't going to wrap it up I should have ended it with "fine! You're perfect for each other!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 04 February 2011, 08:21:01 am
Text last night from someone I have never met before (and incidentally it is plastered all over my advertising that I don't take bookings by text from new clients :P)

'Outcall, Cramlington, 1 hour, How much?'

Now theres a man who really needs to try and be more concise in what he is saying ;D Can you imagine an actual booking with him

'You, in bedroom, clothes off, suck willy'

((shudder))
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 04 February 2011, 10:59:10 pm
I got one of those texts today when I turned my phone on asking me if I was available "tonight". When I replied, but with an unincriminating text the owner acted confused. I can't be bothered getting involved with "Who's this, what do you mean?" texts. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 05 February 2011, 12:22:20 am
Had a guy I've seen before and had HUGE problems with call me tonight me and say..."Got 80 quid sitting here, I thought shall I buy a pizza or lick Coty's pussy...you won, so get your juicy pussy round mine now"
I replied, " Enjoy the stuffed crust double pepperoni" and hung up.
I'm totally skint, but as someone said on another thread...would rather live off baked beans for a week!

Coty x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NubianTemptress on 05 February 2011, 03:35:12 am
You ladies make me laugh, you actually reply?
I don't get them often but when the odd text arrives I just delete it.
R u free, can i c u 2nite, suck my balls in 10 min for ?12.50.. yadda yadda..

NO RESPONSE! They already know sms will be ignored, if they didn't they get the message by receiving no message LOL.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 05 February 2011, 01:11:48 pm
Just got this on AW!


this is a strage request but im 23 and live at home with my mum she is fed up of the way i act and thinks i should be spanked to make me a better person but she dont want to do it and wants me to find somebody who will spank me with a slipper and hairbrush infront of her for 1 hour she as never seen me naked so im very nervous how much would this cost ? x


Hmmm, yeah right, I'm really going to reply to you, dick head!

Coty x

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Claudia Reina on 10 February 2011, 09:30:32 am
I do couple-bookings with my other half and we got a weird call last night.
The guy asked us if we could dress him up like a girl and then pretend we're his parents and he is our little daughter and force him to have sex with both of us... :-X :-X :-X 

Just when I thought I saw everything...
Well, serves us right for answering the phone at silly o'clock...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 10 February 2011, 03:09:59 pm
I do couple-bookings with my other half and we got a weird call last night.
The guy asked us if we could dress him up like a girl and then pretend we're his parents and he is our little daughter and force him to have sex with both of us... Lips sealed Lips sealed Lips sealed

Just when I thought I saw everything...
Well, serves us right for answering the phone at silly o'clock...


LMAO.......It's a mad mad mad world out there! And we sometimes walk into these situations willingly...we're as mad as they are!!!
I had a regular ages ago who would act like a baby and breast feed. He stopped seeing me when his GAY partner read his emails and found out what he'd been doing with me! ha ha ha:-))

Coty x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 10 February 2011, 08:29:11 pm
Quote from: Coty on 05 February 2011, 12:22:20 am
I replied, " Enjoy the stuffed crust double pepperoni" and hung up.

That is actually hilarous!! lol

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 10 February 2011, 11:41:10 pm
Quote from: Coty on 05 February 2011, 01:11:48 pm
Just got this on AW!


this is a strage request but im 23 and live at home with my mum she is fed up of the way i act and thinks i should be spanked to make me a better person but she dont want to do it and wants me to find somebody who will spank me with a slipper and hairbrush infront of her for 1 hour she as never seen me naked so im very nervous how much would this cost ? x


Hmmm, yeah right, I'm really going to reply to you, dick head!

Coty x



I had this one today also.  Must be doing the rounds - sniggering into his hands, pumping his willy - trying to shock the prossies! Block.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pennymoney on 11 February 2011, 04:23:50 pm
Quote from: Coty on 10 February 2011, 03:09:59 pm
I do couple-bookings with my other half and we got a weird call last night.
The guy asked us if we could dress him up like a girl and then pretend we're his parents and he is our little daughter and force him to have sex with both of us... Lips sealed Lips sealed Lips sealed

Just when I thought I saw everything...
Well, serves us right for answering the phone at silly o'clock...


LMAO.......It's a mad mad mad world out there! And we sometimes walk into these situations willingly...we're as mad as they are!!!
I had a regular ages ago who would act like a baby and breast feed. He stopped seeing me when his GAY partner read his emails and found out what he'd been doing with me! ha ha ha:-))

Coty x

I have a gay regular who sees me twice a month for a fisting session. He said he's never met a guy who can do it as well as I can.  I'd never fisted anyone until this client  :)

The only memorable shite booking I had was a bloke who said "Come to my office now and trample me on my bosses desk and I'll give you forty quid." Needless to say, I didn't go.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 12 February 2011, 04:38:06 am

[/quote]

I have a gay regular who sees me twice a month for a fisting session. He said he's never met a guy who can do it as well as I can.  I'd never fisted anyone until this client  :)
[/quote]

Wow, you're brave....I can't even bear to put my finger in there! lmao.....I'm useless at prostate massage!! You'll have to give me some lessons!

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 13 February 2011, 03:13:33 pm
Okay I have a winner here!

Guy just phoned looking for a mistress booking. For these I always ask the contact me in writing with details of what they are looking for (I always avoid any possible sexual chat on the phone)

His reasons why he couldnt do this....he cant read!!!!!!

Well done lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Claudia Reina on 14 February 2011, 10:52:48 am
Quote from: Friday on 13 February 2011, 03:13:33 pm

His reasons why he couldnt do this....he cant read!!!!!!

Well done lol
OMG!!!  This must be the worst excuse I've ever heard!!! :o :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 14 February 2011, 11:09:10 am
Quote from: Claudia on 14 February 2011, 10:52:48 am
Quote from: Friday on 13 February 2011, 03:13:33 pm

His reasons why he couldn't do this....he cant read!!!!!!

Well done lol
OMG!!!  This must be the worst excuse I've ever heard!!! :o :o

How about this one?
Text yesterday asking about a booking on Thursday, I don't normally answer texts but this was a very polite one, therefore I quickly answered him saying 'Please ring me for an appointment as I don't take bookings via text'.
He text back 'OK, I will ring on Tuesday, I won't be able to top up my credit until then'
Clearly he has the only PAYG mobile in history that allows you to send text messages when you have no credit on your phone ;D

Unless there are ones that let you do that now? ??? I'm fairly sure not
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NubianTemptress on 14 February 2011, 11:21:56 am
He probably had enough credit on the phone for 2-3 text msgs but not enough for a 3-5 min call.
Either way he's broke beyond a joke  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 14 February 2011, 11:48:51 am
Quote from: NubianTemptress on 14 February 2011, 11:21:56 am
Either way he's broke beyond a joke  :D

yeah its possible he had free texts and no call credit.. if this was a normal world and all guys genuine id be more sympathetic.. lol

but the thing that always gets me when guys make comments about no credit is: you're phoneing to book a mininum ?100 appointment yet you cant stick ?5 on your mobile!??!?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 14 February 2011, 12:09:32 pm
I didn't know you could send texts on PAYG when you have no credit for a call, all the ones I have had have stopped you doing both when your out of credit. I'm clearly on the wrong price plan :D

But yes the 'I can't afford a phonecall but I've got a ?100+ in my pocket for an appointment' line always tickles me. You really need to prioritise better if you consider spending money on a WG is more vital than having a working means of communication ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 14 February 2011, 12:12:27 pm
Quote from: Simone on 14 February 2011, 11:09:10 am
How about this one?
Text yesterday asking about a booking on Thursday, I don't normally answer texts but this was a very polite one, therefore I quickly answered him saying 'Please ring me for an appointment as I don't take bookings via text'.
He text back 'OK, I will ring on Tuesday, I won't be able to top up my credit until then'
Clearly he has the only PAYG mobile in history that allows you to send text messages when you have no credit on your phone ;D

Unless there are ones that let you do that now? ??? I'm fairly sure not

orange give you 300 free texts when you top up by ?10. So once your credit is gone you can still text with your free text messages
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 15 February 2011, 01:10:27 am
Quote from: Simone on 14 February 2011, 11:09:10 am
Clearly he has the only PAYG mobile in history that allows you to send text messages when you have no credit on your phone ;D

Unless there are ones that let you do that now? ??? I'm fairly sure not

Mine does!

I've got a deal on mine where if I top up ?10 I get unlimited free texts the next month, I try to remember to do that every month so I always have free texts. It's totally possible that all my credit can run out early in the month if I need to make a lot of calls, but I still have the unlimited texts.

EDIT: Didn't realise we'd gone onto another page :P I see other people have said similar stuff now. Agreed though he should really have topped up first :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KatieKurves on 15 February 2011, 05:28:55 pm
I want my cock in your mouth, shoot me load down your throat, fuck your arse & pussy bareback. Is ?500 enough.  :o ::)

I did actually get this text. So obviously I said "Oh yeah baby when can I cum round?"  ;D ;D

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 15 February 2011, 06:00:08 pm
Quote from: Kurvy-Kate on 15 February 2011, 05:28:55 pm
I want my cock in your mouth, shoot me load down your throat, fuck your arse & pussy bareback. Is ?500 enough.  :o ::)

I did actually get this text. So obviously I said "Oh yeah baby when can I cum round?"  ;D ;D

xx

OMG....what planet are these guys from? URGH!

I've had an idiot texting constantly for 2 days yet I've not replied once and they are getting more and more crazy! Started off with...'When are you gonna come eat me?"  (Hmm...who are you?)
Then 'I have a 13 inch black dick I want to pound in every orifice.' (Woo hoo I'm on my way! NOT!) Then he wants to fill me with his seed in every orifice (God that's one of my pet hates...fill you with my seed! URGHHHHH) and today.....can I film you for ?500! LMAO  I haven't replied to any so he can carry on wasting his texts....IDIOT!
Sometimes I can laugh at the stupidity but sometimes I feel like pulling my hair out!!!

Coty xxx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KatieKurves on 15 February 2011, 06:13:51 pm
I feel like punching their faces in. But better not they're only blokes after all!!!  ;D

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 16 February 2011, 03:17:21 pm
Quote from: Kurvy-Kate on 15 February 2011, 06:13:51 pm
I feel like punching their faces in. But better not they're only blokes after all!!!  ;D

xx

LMAO.......Agreed!

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NubianTemptress on 16 February 2011, 03:54:21 pm
received this email at 6am in the morning:

dont know if you can help us but im a 41 year old white man with a 34 year old black girl with the biggest ass you have ever seen she is not gay but she keeps on going on about watching me fuck another woman.im only in to black woman and wonder if you wood partisipate in this with us ..wood be a good night x x

Two actions followed after reading the above. BLOCK SENDER ---->>> DELETE  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 17 February 2011, 10:08:46 am
By text - "Hello Pandora, you look amazing"

Thanks - ring for appointment

"I am too far away from you for a visit"

In my head -loser!

"I think you look fantastic in your pictures.  I have the horn big time!

10mins later "Loads.  Thank you"

20 mins later "I am going to shoot again"

hour later "OMG you are so fabulous"

Seems I even provide a free service in cyber land.

Weirdo.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 17 February 2011, 10:52:21 am

How about this one?
Text yesterday asking about a booking on Thursday, I don't normally answer texts but this was a very polite one, therefore I quickly answered him saying 'Please ring me for an appointment as I don't take bookings via text'.
He text back 'OK, I will ring on Tuesday, I won't be able to top up my credit until then'
Clearly he has the only PAYG mobile in history that allows you to send text messages when you have no credit on your phone ;D

Unless there are ones that let you do that now? ??? I'm fairly sure not
[/quote]

If you have a tarrif you can have free texts without credit. I top up ?10 a month and get unlimited texts, so when I run out of credit, I can only text people for the rest of the month.

X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 19 February 2011, 03:50:19 pm
Quote from: pandora on 17 February 2011, 10:08:46 am
By text - "Hello Pandora, you look amazing"

Thanks - ring for appointment

"I am too far away from you for a visit"

In my head -loser!

"I think you look fantastic in your pictures.  I have the horn big time!

10mins later "Loads.  Thank you"


Tested twice the next day to say " sorry if I offended you last night, was a bit rude"

and "you really made my evening".  Nutter

20 mins later "I am going to shoot again"

hour later "OMG you are so fabulous"

Seems I even provide a free service in cyber land.

Weirdo.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 21 February 2011, 10:42:54 am
Quote from: pandora on 19 February 2011, 03:50:19 pm
Quote from: pandora on 17 February 2011, 10:08:46 am
By text - "Hello Pandora, you look amazing"

Thanks - ring for appointment

"I am too far away from you for a visit"

In my head -loser!

"I think you look fantastic in your pictures.  I have the horn big time!

10mins later "Loads.  Thank you"


Tested twice the next day to say " sorry if I offended you last night, was a bit rude"

and "you really made my evening".  Nutter

20 mins later "I am going to shoot again"

hour later "OMG you are so fabulous"

Seems I even provide a free service in cyber land.

Weirdo.



If only you could turn that into a paid service though Pandora, how great would that be? You could make a living without even leaving your house! result :D

Voicemail this morning 'Hello Simone, I've seen your website and you look great, I don't want to give you money but if you are looking for some no strings fun give me a ring on blah blah blah'

The best bit of it was he sounded EXACTALLY like Wearside Jack (The bloke from Sunderland who posed as Peter Sutcliffe during the Yorkshire Ripper investigation :o) Come to think of it I don't think they every caught that guy, knowing my luck it was probably him ((shudders))
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 21 February 2011, 11:17:23 am
Quote from: Simone on 21 February 2011, 10:42:54 am
The best bit of it was he sounded EXACTLY like Wearside Jack (The bloke from Sunderland who posed as Peter Sutcliffe during the Yorkshire Ripper investigation :o) Come to think of it I don't think they every caught that guy, knowing my luck it was probably him ((shudders))

Caught in 2005 due to some DNA on an envelope he licked in the 70s. Sentenced to eight years for perverting the course of justice in 2006.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 21 February 2011, 11:26:21 am
Quote from: Simone on 21 February 2011, 10:42:54 am
"[...] I don't want to give you money but [...]"

I am totally using this line EVERY TIME I try to buy anything from now on. ;D

"Hello, Gregg's Employee, I don't want to give you any money but may I have that bag of donuts?"
"Hello, brilliant hairdresser who makes me look almost decent, I don't want to give you any money but will you come and live in my kitchen cupboards so you can style my hair every day?"
"Hello, Big Issue seller, I don't want to give you any money but could you go away and stop being so homeless?"

I could go on all day! Especially since I have tons of homework that I should have started a week ago. Ahem! Back to the real world... ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 21 February 2011, 11:31:29 am
Quote from: xw5 on 21 February 2011, 11:17:23 am
Quote from: Simone on 21 February 2011, 10:42:54 am
The best bit of it was he sounded EXACTLY like Wearside Jack (The bloke from Sunderland who posed as Peter Sutcliffe during the Yorkshire Ripper investigation :o) Come to think of it I don't think they every caught that guy, knowing my luck it was probably him ((shudders))

Caught in 2005 due to some DNA on an envelope he licked in the 70s. Sentenced to eight years for perverting the course of justice in 2006.

I didn't know that! (and I'm a Sunderland girl as well so I really should :P) they caught him from DNA from the seventies? That's truly amazing.
I'm assuming it wasn't him then ;D probably a very unfortunate sound a like.
And yes Emily I'm going to use the 'I don't have any money but...' line myself from now on. There's a lovely pair of platform heels in Kurt kieger that have a ?12o price tag I don't want to fork out for, wish me luck!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 21 February 2011, 01:13:33 pm
Quote from: Simone on 21 February 2011, 10:42:54 am
Voicemail this morning 'Hello Simone, I've seen your website and you look great, I don't want to give you money but if you are looking for some no strings fun give me a ring on blah blah blah'


And in the same vein from across the pond (by way of proof that they don't change no matter where you go):

Email received Saturday:
Quote
I seen your ad on Eros and I think that your absolutely amazing lol

I am 26yrs old I am very well educated as I hold a Master's degree and 2 bachelors degrees.  I was hoping you would consider giving me the night of my life that I would never forget.  If your free any night, maybe you would consider spending it with me?  Have a few drinks, order food, hangout together.  I always promised myself I would never pay for this so it was worth a shot to contact you to see if you would do it.  Anyway I attached a photo of myself, let me know what you think.  

Hope to hear back from you :)

Bwahahahahaha. And even better:

Quote
> Date: Sun, 20 Feb 2011 00:23:44 -0700
> From: anotherchancer
> To:
> Subject: My Photo
>
> I believe at first we need to each other better to communicate
> further.
> So hereby I am attaching my photo. You also please send me your
> photo and your info.
> Thanks.
> John,

The photo was of James Lafferty from One Tree Hill. Good old Tineye (http://www.tineye.com/search/a4e1cd08e63b1124fe960668920258807393189d/?page=1&sort=score&order=desc)  ;D.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 21 February 2011, 01:57:05 pm
Quote from: amy on 21 February 2011, 01:13:33 pm
The photo was of James Lafferty from One Tree Hill. Good old Tineye (http://www.tineye.com/search/a4e1cd08e63b1124fe960668920258807393189d/?page=1&sort=score&order=desc)  ;D.

Baahahaha! For some reason, that really cracks me up. ;D Look at him, supposedly peeking out from behind a tree at a prossie.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NubianTemptress on 21 February 2011, 06:46:41 pm
Yesterday I had this annoying guy keep texting me, I asked him to call me if he wanted to arrange a booking, he drop called me, then asked me to call him back.  Then more texts.

I sent him a message "Just stop right now. Find someone else to inflict yourself on.  You won't get a further response from me".

That seemed to do the job.
I got the "Find someone else to inflict yourself on" from Emily's site.  It works well.  Thanks Emz  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 22 February 2011, 09:33:27 am
Text at 10.40pm last night from a number I didn't recognise 'Can I get an outcall?' (Don't kill me with details there mind mate ;))
I was feeling rather short tempered so I text back 'I don't know, can you?'
5 minutes later got a reply 'No need to be sarcastic'
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 22 February 2011, 10:20:57 am
Quote from: NubianTemptress on 21 February 2011, 06:46:41 pm
I got the "Find someone else to inflict yourself on" from Emily's site.  It works well.  Thanks Emz  :D

Good lord, what a cow I am! I did mean it to sound half-jokey on my site, honest. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NubianTemptress on 22 February 2011, 10:27:11 am
Quote from: EmilyJones on 22 February 2011, 10:20:57 am
Good lord, what a cow I am! I did mean it to sound half-jokey on my site, honest. ;D

Oh it did Emily.. I was cracking up when I read it, love sarcastic humour, but stripped the niceness for the TW's LOL.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 22 February 2011, 11:42:16 am
Via text: "Wish I could see you tomorrow. But im broke"

What is it with these people?
Do they also stand outside expensive restaurants
looking forlornly at the menu and hope the staff take pity and
offer a free meal?   ;D
Actually, they probably do.

 
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 22 February 2011, 12:54:47 pm
Quote from: Simone on 22 February 2011, 09:33:27 am
Text at 10.40pm last night from a number I didn't recognise 'Can I get an outcall?' (Don't kill me with details there mind mate ;))
I was feeling rather short tempered so I text back 'I don't know, can you?'
5 minutes later got a reply 'No need to be sarcastic'
 ;D ;D ;D

I had a guy once phone without even as much as a hello go "can I get an outcall please?"

You're not booking a taxi mate!   ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: scottishmilf on 25 February 2011, 12:03:57 am
Ha, this is very imaginative how many of youz also had this one :L

((The full text of a basic 'Hello, I am a corrupt banker and I want you to help steal some money. Did I mention there will be some fees for modalities? Never mind, there will be..' scam email deleted.))
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 25 February 2011, 12:21:39 am
Zugi love, can you not post all your 419/Nigerian scam emails here? Everyone with an email address gets them (you might not have noticed before because your spam filters caught them). We tend to get more of them than people who don't post their email addresses publicly on the internet do, but otherwise it's absolutely nothing to do with escorts and the weirdos we attract, which is what this thread is about.

If you want to see some more examples of 419 emails, look here (http://www.spikynorman.dsl.pipex.com/index_date.html). You might also like 419eater (http://www.419eater.com/).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 25 February 2011, 02:40:38 pm
Quote from: amy on 21 February 2011, 01:13:33 pm
Quote from: Simone on 21 February 2011, 10:42:54 am
Voicemail this morning 'Hello Simone, I've seen your website and you look great, I don't want to give you money but if you are looking for some no strings fun give me a ring on blah blah blah'


And in the same vein from across the pond (by way of proof that they don't change no matter where you go):

Email received Saturday:
Quote
I seen your ad on Eros and I think that your absolutely amazing lol

I am 26yrs old I am very well educated as I hold a Master's degree and 2 bachelors degrees.  I was hoping you would consider giving me the night of my life that I would never forget.  If your free any night, maybe you would consider spending it with me?  Have a few drinks, order food, hangout together.  I always promised myself I would never pay for this so it was worth a shot to contact you to see if you would do it.  Anyway I attached a photo of myself, let me know what you think.  

Hope to hear back from you :)

Bwahahahahaha. And even better:

Quote
> Date: Sun, 20 Feb 2011 00:23:44 -0700
> From: anotherchancer
> To:
> Subject: My Photo
>
> I believe at first we need to each other better to communicate
> further.
> So hereby I am attaching my photo. You also please send me your
> photo and your info.
> Thanks.
> John,

The photo was of James Lafferty from One Tree Hill. Good old Tineye (http://www.tineye.com/search/a4e1cd08e63b1124fe960668920258807393189d/?page=1&sort=score&order=desc)  ;D.



I was really bored, had a bit of time to kill so played someone like this at their own game. Basically a guy contacted me via MSN last week. I don't usually entertain guys via that method, but hey like I say I was at a loose end.

Anyway he basically asked me for a free shag, said he wasn't looking to pay and even better said that I would fancy him. So I lay down the gauntlet, I said "Ok matey boy, we'll meet up have a few drinks, and if I fancy you as you say I will then maybe we will get down to some rumpy pumpy". Suddenly he didn't have any transport, couldn't believe me, asked me to send him some photos that weren't on my website, said he didn't fancy meeting me in a bar because I was probably a 'known' escort and he wasn't going to be seen out with one.

Called his bluff and he went running off frightened.

I'm guessing he came on line for a bit of sexy chat and went away with more than he bargained for. Ah well!!!

PS do not try this at home readers ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GJ on 25 February 2011, 02:49:26 pm
I got someone asking me for a15 minute booking, (at that time I didn't have a incall place yet )
I told him I didn't do 15 minute outcalls,
Then he wanted to book an hour which was ok with me and if I knew any place to do the booking, Or otherwise if I was able to do it outside....

I told him I was ready to do it on the beach if he was ok with that....

Obvious no reply after that
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 25 February 2011, 06:55:45 pm
How rude!!

phone rings this morning (well my this morning so more like lunch time)

Anyhoo conversations goes like this:

Him: hi i'm on your profile and it says your dress size 18 but you dont look it, is this right?
Me: Of course its right, not something i would lie about

*click* hangs up!

how bloody rude! And added straight too ignore cause you know he'll forget and call again another time, they always do  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Claudia Reina on 25 February 2011, 07:22:19 pm
Quote from: strawberry on 25 February 2011, 02:40:38 pm
said he didn't fancy meeting me in a bar because I was probably a 'known' escort and he wasn't going to be seen out with one.


Oh, yes, what an embarrassment to be seen with an escort, I'm gonna go and bury myself right away for being one...oh, the shame... >:( >:(

(What a plonker!) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 25 February 2011, 10:33:12 pm

[/quote]

I was really bored, had a bit of time to kill so played someone like this at their own game. Basically a guy contacted me via MSN last week. I don't usually entertain guys via that method, but hey like I say I was at a loose end.

Anyway he basically asked me for a free shag, said he wasn't looking to pay and even better said that I would fancy him. So I lay down the gauntlet, I said "Ok matey boy, we'll meet up have a few drinks, and if I fancy you as you say I will then maybe we will get down to some rumpy pumpy". Suddenly he didn't have any transport, couldn't believe me, asked me to send him some photos that weren't on my website, said he didn't fancy meeting me in a bar because I was probably a 'known' escort and he wasn't going to be seen out with one.

Called his bluff and he went running off frightened.

I'm guessing he came on line for a bit of sexy chat and went away with more than he bargained for. Ah well!!!

PS do not try this at home readers ;)
[/quote]

LMAO...fantastic. As for don't try this at home!!!! But you just know we will :-))

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 28 February 2011, 04:10:14 pm
Ba ha ha ha ha ha ha ha   ;D  ::)

Hey fellow escort...

I have a special favour to ask.

I was wondering what the chances are of you and I meeting and simply indulging in one another no costs/envelopes involved...? Shocked!?

Well I saw your profile I am turned on and I am extremely horny, very simple!

No catches just simple sex - tonight ideally

I can accomdate in my lovely southisde flat and I cannot wait to hear from you.

x

Yeah keep waiting pal!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Claudia Reina on 28 February 2011, 04:57:18 pm
Quote from: Friday on 28 February 2011, 04:10:14 pm
Ba ha ha ha ha ha ha ha   ;D  ::)

Hey fellow escort...

I have a special favour to ask.

I was wondering what the chances are of you and I meeting and simply indulging in one another no costs/envelopes involved...? Shocked!?

Well I saw your profile I am turned on and I am extremely horny, very simple!

No catches just simple sex - tonight ideally

I can accomdate in my lovely southisde flat and I cannot wait to hear from you.

x

Yeah keep waiting pal!


Aw, and you didn't go? I'm shocked! I would be in that lovely southside flat in no time ;D Can't say no to an offer like that! :D Come on, don't be heartless, you can do it for a fellow escort (escort, yeah, right...) ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 28 February 2011, 05:43:30 pm
Quote from: Friday on 28 February 2011, 04:10:14 pm
I was wondering what the chances are of you and I meeting and simply indulging in one another no costs/envelopes involved...? Shocked!?

Shocked? Totally. It never occurred to me before that anyone would even think of something like that, it's just too radical! Mind. Blown.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 28 February 2011, 07:05:37 pm
Quote from: strawberry on 25 February 2011, 02:40:38 pm
basically asked me for a free shag, said he wasn't looking to pay and even better said that I would fancy him.
So I lay down the gauntlet, I said "Ok matey boy
Called his bluff and he went running off frightened.

PS do not try this at home readers ;)
Oh, I am so using that with the next chancer I get.   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 28 February 2011, 08:59:22 pm
   
Hi babe, I hope you don't mind the message here. I see your profile and thought I'd say hi.

I'm 28, a very genuine, loyal, loving and affectionate guy. I've got a good sense of humour, love to make others laugh, friendly, happy go lucky, positive, laid back and chilled out personality. I don't cheat or lie like most guys. I enjoy seeing my partner with other guys, but don't swap or do it myself.

I'm not looking for a booking or sex in anyway, I'm looking to meet a decent girl in the adult industry for a long term loving relationship. I run my own adult business and it's not easy finding a decent girl who is accepting of this, especially not on your conventional dating sites or out in bars/clubs etc.

I got pics on my profile here, have a look - see what you think.

I'd love to chat sometime and get to know you. What you say, can't hurt can it.

Take care

ADULTWORK-IS-NOT-A-DATING-SITE!!!!

I was tempted to ask him what "adult business" he runs  ;D , but just pressed delete!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 28 February 2011, 09:06:20 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 28 February 2011, 08:59:22 pm
love to make others laugh

well he's not lying there! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 28 February 2011, 10:53:56 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 28 February 2011, 08:59:22 pm
I'm not looking for a booking or sex in anyway, I'm looking [...] for a long term loving relationship.

Ha! Well, I'm definitely also looking for a celibate relationship in which we never go anywhere without a chaperone but mostly just sit in parks reading tedious poetry to each other, so I do hope I hear from this bloke too! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 28 February 2011, 11:41:03 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 28 February 2011, 10:53:56 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 28 February 2011, 08:59:22 pm
I'm not looking for a booking or sex in anyway, I'm looking [...] for a long term loving relationship.

Ha! Well, I'm definitely also looking for a celibate relationship in which we never go anywhere without a chaperone but mostly just sit in parks reading tedious poetry to each other, so I do hope I hear from this bloke too! ;D

I would actually quite like a relationship like that at the moment :-[ (But I insist on wearing a corset and he has to wear a frock coat and be able to handle a chaise and pair like a true whip)
I think I've been reading too many Georgette Hayer novels ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PurpleNails on 01 March 2011, 10:14:51 pm
More a case of What I wouldnt like!
Ur tight pussy round my cock always a gd start!

The text talk always annoys me, these are grown men, I think it's to try and be 'young'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 01 March 2011, 10:20:06 pm
Quote from: PurpleNails on 01 March 2011, 10:14:51 pm
More a case of What I wouldnt like!
Ur tight pussy round my cock always a gd start!

The text talk always annoys me, these are grown men, I think it's to try and be 'young'.

Agreed. I just had a..."HI Coty, you still got the flu? Coz I'm like a tripod and have blue balls, need your luscious mouth sucking me"

Urgh....just the thing to turn my stomach when I'm feeling so ill!


Coty x


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PurpleNails on 02 March 2011, 01:35:43 am
thanks for responding, sorry but i dont earn much just looking for some comfort as wife is ill, wanting a regular hour massage for ?20 will not mess you about, please consider.

For my life I'm getting sick of emails such as this!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 02 March 2011, 07:04:50 am
Hopeful voice: 'I've got ?20?'

"Ha ha ha ha ha" ....click,  ...burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PurpleNails on 02 March 2011, 05:43:26 pm
Hi ....
My question is very simple.... and we talk about details if you accept my proposal...
I am Herv? a 38 yo French guy.
Would you dare comming in France to spend sex time with me? of course I would pay for your time, hotel, diner etc etc.... And I would understand you would come with a chaperon...
What do you think? answer me even if it is no please
Herv?

Yes, I think going to a foreign country with a man I don't know is the best idea I've ever heard.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 03 March 2011, 01:07:55 pm
From an existing client:
"I am modeling my home in Stevenage
on your set up
with the same coloured curtains
or near enough on your home"

If  I stop posting for a significant period,
you can find me hidden in his apartment behind the plasterboard wall.   :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 03 March 2011, 01:19:46 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 03 March 2011, 01:07:55 pm
From an existing client:
"I am modeling my home in Stevenage
on your set up
with the same coloured curtains
or near enough on your home"

If  I stop posting for a significant period,
you can find me hidden in his apartment behind the plasterboard wall.   :o

Oh my f**king christ! I have nothing more to add except this face  :o :o :o!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 03 March 2011, 01:46:51 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 03 March 2011, 01:07:55 pm
From an existing client:
"I am modeling my home in Stevenage
on your set up
with the same coloured curtains
or near enough on your home"

If  I stop posting for a significant period,
you can find me hidden in his apartment behind the plasterboard wall.   :o

 :o "plays the psycho theme tune in my head"  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lolo on 03 March 2011, 08:26:54 pm

"well hello there......i am sorry my first time...contacting an escort...hence the jitters....not looking for a any sex or nudity.......live close to city centre...just wondering...cost of 15 mintue of drive with me.....during day time.....just maybe have a coffee together inthe car....or if you smoke....then smoke a cig...maybe hold hands and kiss...with some fondling. ???????// kindly let me know......."

regards

Would love to know how 'jitters' can be translated into an email, maybe that explains all the strange punctuation?



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 03 March 2011, 08:35:49 pm
Quote from: Lolo on 03 March 2011, 08:26:54 pm

"well hello there......i am sorry my first time...contacting an escort...hence the jitters....not looking for a any sex or nudity.......live close to city centre...just wondering...cost of 15 mintue of drive with me.....during day time.....just maybe have a coffee together inthe car....or if you smoke....then smoke a cig...maybe hold hands and kiss...with some fondling. ???????// kindly let me know......."

regards

Would love to know how 'jitters' can be translated into an email, maybe that explains all the strange punctuation?





Thats interesting.. lol in a creepy way

Must say though, you've got too love guys idea of time and how much you can fit in it lol always cracks me up  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 03 March 2011, 09:35:07 pm
Quote from: Friday on 03 March 2011, 08:35:49 pm
Must say though, you've got too love guys idea of time and how much you can fit in it lol always cracks me up  ;D

So true! I had a request a short while back for a roleplay to begin in a coffeeshop and result in me, pretending my hardest not to be a hooker, dragging him back to mine for totally-not-prearranged-and-paid-for sex, presumably after having coffee together and chatting each other up and whatnot - and all this was supposed to happen within my half hour incall fee. I told him it would be +?50 for it being an outcall, +?50 for roleplay not being a service I offer and +?50 for the extra time all this gallivanting about would take. He decided to go for a proper 30 minute incall after all. ;D

There have been more but I think that guy was the only one to handle my email retort with good grace! He turned out to just be a bit innocent about all this paying for it business, bless his heart.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 03 March 2011, 10:04:44 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 03 March 2011, 09:35:07 pm
I had a request a short while back for a roleplay to begin in a coffeeshop and result in me, pretending my hardest not to be a hooker, dragging him back to mine for totally-not-prearranged-and-paid-for sex, presumably after having coffee together and chatting each other up and whatnot - and all this was supposed to happen within my half hour incall fee.

! This is obviously the male equivalent of the little girl's wish list that ends with '.. and a pony!'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 04 March 2011, 06:10:22 pm
Quote from: Friday on 28 February 2011, 04:10:14 pm
Ba ha ha ha ha ha ha ha   ;D  ::)

Hey fellow escort...

I have a special favour to ask.

I was wondering what the chances are of you and I meeting and simply indulging in one another no costs/envelopes involved...? Shocked!?

Well I saw your profile I am turned on and I am extremely horny, very simple!

No catches just simple sex - tonight ideally

I can accomdate in my lovely southisde flat and I cannot wait to hear from you.

x

Yeah keep waiting pal!


you wont believe it! I didnt even respond to this tit and today got this:


Hi, do you do outcalls? I'm looking to bump up my rating so let me know if you could come round tonight. I'm looking for you to come into my house, suck me off to completion then leave. Simple as that lol x

Ps, what's your number?

1) he's 18 so he's got no chance, paying or otherwise
2) "bump up his rating" He hides his feedback - genius
3) I only do outcalls
4) my number is on my profile
5) he's clearly an idtiot!!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 04 March 2011, 06:23:12 pm
Arggghhhh.....5 minutes ago....call from withheld number so ignored it. Leaves a voice message telling me his name and location, hotel and room number the lot. Then says...call me back or be here as soon as possible!  Classic....calls from a withheld number and tells me to call him back! And no way am I dashing out like a take away pizza to a guy who's clearly a dick!

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 05 March 2011, 12:34:39 pm
"My first time seen
advert in Loot text me
back with naked
photo please"

Oh yes, now I remember why I stopped advertising in Loot.  ::)
God, they must keep old copies for ages, which is just weird.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Melanie Minx on 06 March 2011, 09:53:30 pm
I just received this text,
postcode ?

Not even had any other text of them so its not to do with an excisting booking. 

Kelly  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 07 March 2011, 02:40:10 am
Quote from: **Kelly** on 06 March 2011, 09:53:30 pm
I just received this text,
postcode ?

Not even had any other text of them so its not to do with an excisting booking. 

Kelly  :)

Man of few words! How rude though!

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pennymoney on 08 March 2011, 10:29:02 pm
Quote from: Simone on 21 February 2011, 11:31:29 am
Quote from: xw5 on 21 February 2011, 11:17:23 am
Quote from: Simone on 21 February 2011, 10:42:54 am
The best bit of it was he sounded EXACTLY like Wearside Jack (The bloke from Sunderland who posed as Peter Sutcliffe during the Yorkshire Ripper investigation :o) Come to think of it I don't think they every caught that guy, knowing my luck it was probably him ((shudders))

Caught in 2005 due to some DNA on an envelope he licked in the 70s. Sentenced to eight years for perverting the course of justice in 2006.

I didn't know that! (and I'm a Sunderland girl as well so I really should :P) they caught him from DNA from the seventies? That's truly amazing.
I'm assuming it wasn't him then ;D probably a very unfortunate sound a like.
And yes Emily I'm going to use the 'I don't have any money but...' line myself from now on. There's a lovely pair of platform heels in Kurt kieger that have a ?12o price tag I don't want to fork out for, wish me luck!

Snap, I'm a Sunderland girl too.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 10 March 2011, 08:41:14 pm
Oh for pity's sake, give me strength:-(
Work has been dead forever and I get a message just now....my heart skips a beat at the thought of some money for  food and gas at last!
And I get an idiot telling me how he loves my pics and  how big black women like me are his favourite and then asks for my address!
I'm white and only do outcalls! Grrrrr

Told him to go to specsavers!

Coty x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 11 March 2011, 06:12:34 pm
Lmffao coty!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 11 March 2011, 06:45:42 pm
I've just had one!!! Hahaha

Phone call received do you
"do half hour incall bookings? "
" yes i do"
"how much is it?"
"?80"
"oh that's too much for me sorry"
"ok no problem"
 
This in itself is fair enough, the bullshit texts I received after however are not!!!!
"sorry I'm 5 minutes away an your lush just out of my league"
 Ignored
"I was thinkin it would be about ?40 cheek I know lol"  (lol? Really)
Are you being serious??? Again ignored! 
Then "ok ?50 then" o_O errr is this a biding service???
Me - " sorry it's not a suggested price, it's ?80 for half an hour"
 Then " I'm sorry ur (text speak grrrrrrrr!) lush n worth it I know just can't stretch I adore black thanks anyway. I live nr asda lol "
Ignored!!!
" I know your gonna be worth it as your gorg. So curvy as well I'm gutted!!!!"
Again ignored

Ever wanna text someone and tell them to just f*ck off!!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 11 March 2011, 09:43:59 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 11 March 2011, 06:45:42 pm


Ever wanna text someone and tell them to just f*ck off!!!!!!

LMAO...only on days with a Y in them!

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 11 March 2011, 10:00:19 pm
Here's a belter from yesterday (no prizes for guessing the Site Of Origin):

Quote
hey honey my name is [An Optimist] in will be in Scarborough on business Friday the 1st of April and I have to say the night as I have a meeting Saturday morning. I was wondering what kind of services you are able to offer or if you would be available for a date service you or some kind of dinner play date if wasn?t for a better word lol.

I am a young professional man and hate not having a date and having to stay over some where on a Friday night lol it?s so boring and well just wrong, I like your profile hun and think that you look really sexy hun so just email me back if you think we could maybe sort something out x

This has got to be an April Fool, ffs. I emailed him back to ask what it was exactly he liked about my profile considering he clearly hadn't read a single, solitary word of it (the services aren't exactly hard to find), and pointed out that my name is Amy and I am English, not German, so why repeatedly call me 'hun'? Then I got bored of trying to include all of the things that are wrong about the email and just blocked the poor bastard  ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NubianTemptress on 13 March 2011, 02:39:59 am
Quote from: Dionne on 11 March 2011, 06:45:42 pm


Ever wanna text someone and tell them to just f*ck off!!!!!!

I frequently text them & tell them to f-off.  Sometimes I'll ring them at silly o'clock, curse them and put the phone down, now I have free minutes.

Lately I've been thinking about calling that stupid pillow man  :D

I like to think of it as karmic retribution, restoring the balance of the equilibrium.. LOL.

They just think I'm a psycho bitch, but I can live with that  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 18 March 2011, 09:34:21 am
Email on AW this morning

'Hi could you tell me if you have face pics in your private gallery?'

Translation- I don't want to spend the ?1.50 to check so I'm going to email you first to try and find out.
Was very tempted to reply that if he can't afford a few pennies for my private gallery I would imagine I'm out of his price range anyway ;D

The lack of shame sometimes just amazes (and amuses) me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sammy s on 18 March 2011, 10:01:57 am
Last night i got this phone call:

man - " can I cum inside you during the booking?"

me - "of course if you are wearing a condom"

man - "I see. And how much would it be to do it without one?"

me - "make me an offer" (would never actually do it but wanted to see what kind of pathetic offer he would make for my own amusement)

man - "180 for 1 hour?"

me - "?30 over my normal price to possibly contract an incurable disease among many other things? Sounds really tempting" (obviously said in a really sarcastic voice but the loser didnt pick up on this at all. Thicko)

man - "ok good, do you have any naked pics you can send to my email before I book."

me - "no problem. The 378 naked photos on my  profile probably dont give a clear enough picture of myself"

man - "can I take your full address"

me - " 1 Fanny place which is off Dick road"

man - "I think I know it but will check google maps and call you back to let you know if i can make it tonight"

WHAT.A.DUMB.FUCK!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 18 March 2011, 12:45:07 pm
That is hilarious!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 18 March 2011, 04:07:04 pm
LMAO...brill Sammy. Good grief, talk about thinking with his dick....no brain use whatsoever there was there?
thanks for making me laugh!

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 18 March 2011, 07:10:07 pm
And again!!!

This is the same guy who I posted 2 emails from recently!

He's now come up with an essay! I love how all these guys say things like "dont worry im 100% genuine" well of course you are you tit all freebie hunters are genjuine!!!! lol

"Hey, I've attached my pic.

Please hear me out as I'm offering you the chance to make more money...

Have you ever considered having an extra MF couple profile? There is a real lack of top MF profiles in the Glasgow area and I think there is room for one. I would really like to have a couple profile with you and I guarantee you could make yourself the same amount of money as you do on your single profile at the moment...maybe even more on-top of what you already make. Say for instance you had a couple profile with me, we could both make 90 each per 30min bookings. So we could charge ?180 for a MF meet together. Basically it would be of benefit to you (as you earn you extra cash) and won't do any harm in your money making as you're guaranteed to make at least make the same as you would on your own profile. If anything you could be making a little bit extra :)


Think of it this way, alot of 'clients' look specifically for MF profiles and bypass the single female ones. So why not broaden your horizons and reach out to more people thus making you more ???

Taking up my offer wouldn't do any harm and like I said before, it offers you the chance to earn more when maybe bookings on your own profile have dried up a little (which I actually doubt would happen because your photos are so hot and no doubt you are always VERY busy) But nonetheless you catch my drift...

Let me know what you think, even if it's a no then please do let me know as I'm very genuine and serious about my offer.

PS please dont be concerned about my hidden feedback as I've done this just for the moment in order to protect my privacy. Rest assured I'm not fake, I am who I say I am and really think we could make good money with a joint profile.

S x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 18 March 2011, 08:02:09 pm
Quote from: Friday on 18 March 2011, 07:10:07 pm
PS please dont be concerned about my hidden feedback as I've done this just for the moment in order to protect my privacy. Rest assured I'm not fake, I am who I say I am and really think we could make good money with a joint profile.

Aaahahaha! Good one. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 18 March 2011, 08:24:03 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 18 March 2011, 08:02:09 pm
Quote from: Friday on 18 March 2011, 07:10:07 pm
PS please dont be concerned about my hidden feedback as I've done this just for the moment in order to protect my privacy. Rest assured I'm not fake, I am who I say I am and really think we could make good money with a joint profile.

Aaahahaha! Good one. ;D

I should alsp point out this guy is 18!!! He couldn't even pay me for services as my limit is 21!! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 19 March 2011, 12:30:17 pm
Ohhh, puke! Can't stand these young guys who think we should be so honored to take them up on their myriad of offers that are so beneficial to us, when basically it's free shags they're after! Grrr. Just turns my stomach. Idiots!

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kimba on 19 March 2011, 03:56:59 pm
That one reminds me of a foreign uni student who had recently booked me, been a real sweetheart, was obviously short of cash and  had been offered a discounted rate by me if he wanted a follow up ( this is something I NEVER do! ?? ) Wll, give'em an inch and they will take the whole mile as they say..
1 week later, 5am email:
Hi, I miss you.
Why do you sell yourself in this way? You sell yourself because you are beautiful and because you can. Are you happy with that? I want to see you again, but see you for ever and not to pay as that is degrading for you.

( No answer was my stern reply)

5 days later: Hi, when can I book you again?

Anytime you like. I am afraid I can no longer offer a discount as the distance I have to travel to visit you makes this unfeasable. ( ie, Should have quit whilst you were ahead soldier  >:( )

I can offer you ?120?

That isn't my full rate, please don't contact me again unless you are making a serious booking.

Fine. I will just have to go out and get it for free from one of the many young English girls that will offer it to me then. Cheers!

See, this is why I never offer discounts!!  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 19 March 2011, 05:35:46 pm
Quote from: kimba on 19 March 2011, 03:56:59 pm
Fine. I will just have to go out and get it for free from one of the many young English girls that will offer it to me then. Cheers!

LMAO  I've had that kind of thing before. Think we're meant to get jealous and say..."Oh no don't!"

and all that, Why do you sell yourself and degrade yourself! Ohhhhh PLEASE! Why does he search for escorts then? Because he's a pillar of society?
when I get silly boys making comments like that I always say, "Darling if it wasn't for men like you, there would be no work for women like me!"

Coty xxx


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 19 March 2011, 06:27:16 pm
My name is Mohamed and am 63. I have been suffering with Leukemia for the past 3 years and am predicted to have months left. I have 3800 pounds saved from working since I came to the UK and should be leaving it to my dear son who looks after me but I am looking for a girl to strip it from me.

I am in my study with my son in his room upstairs. I am looking to be instructed how to secure myself to the chair and gag myself so I cannot call to him, then wire all the money in chunks of 500 to you (whoever accepts this)

My son is very bright and protective of me and will need to be distracted while I do this maybe via a messenger conversation while you instruct me.

I love him dearly and know this money should be going to him which drives anxious/excited.

  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 19 March 2011, 08:13:08 pm
Quote from: April on 19 March 2011, 06:27:16 pm
My name is Mohamed and am 63. I have been suffering with Leukemia for the past 3 years and am predicted to have months left. I have 3800 pounds saved from working since I came to the UK and should be leaving it to my dear son who looks after me but I am looking for a girl to strip it from me.

I am in my study with my son in his room upstairs. I am looking to be instructed how to secure myself to the chair and gag myself so I cannot call to him, then wire all the money in chunks of 500 to you (whoever accepts this)

My son is very bright and protective of me and will need to be distracted while I do this maybe via a messenger conversation while you instruct me.

I love him dearly and know this money should be going to him which drives anxious/excited.

  ???

WTF????????????????

Mentalist? or Nigerian scam?  Either way, totally bizarre!

Coty xxx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 19 March 2011, 08:23:04 pm
I'm thinking strange fantasy, like the one who was messaging people on AW about how he/his mother is disabled and he realised he loved humillation when he/his mother was abused by some random teenagers.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 20 March 2011, 07:17:55 pm
Quote from: a man boobed zombie
Please ruin my life as I know it and turn me into your man boobed zombie paying idiot slave.
I would like you to invent a appropriate nickname for myself as i also find this a big turn on.

I should not be allowed to have a girlfriend by yourself so as to always spend my wages on yourself.

Please tell me what you will do for motivation for me to see you and waste my wages each month ?

Slave
Fattytits

Clearly this is my lucky weekend!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 21 March 2011, 09:38:30 am
LMAO
OMG, they just get weirder and weirder!

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 23 March 2011, 11:28:33 am
I'm posting this one mostly because I'm wondering if he's tried it with anyone else.

I've had a texter for a few days. I deleted the first few where he asked if this was Maria and if she was still working. I haven't responded to any of them since I figured if he was genuinely looking for Maria it wouldn't take him long to realise that she's not here. Since then it's been:

Are you still working?
Maria - are you still working? Mark
Maria - can you give me the number of the place you are working so I can contact someone else if you're not around. M
-Then he called me, I picked up, and he hung up as soon as I said hello-
Dialled by accident - sorry! Are you working?!
Let me know & I'll come down - I've seen you before so not sure what's up?
Hello?!
Maria, are you working this avo?

Now, it's not entirely implausible that Maria hates talking on the phone, or that he's deaf/unable to speak, but given that he started off asking if he had the right person, and the evidence he's had since, and that I've had this number for over six years, I think it's unlikely he's such a dummy that he thinks he's texting someone he knows. I reckon it's a variation on "a friend gave me your number", and I'm meant to be trying to tempt him away from Maria with my sexy textiness. So, anyone else had this one?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Yorkshire Rose on 23 March 2011, 12:28:04 pm
I am getting them all today...

How much for an hour?
I answer with my rates
Oh I have ?30, what can you do?
'NOTHING'
please help me love I really need sex but can only afford ?30

NO!! You are ?100 short of my initial fee to start with and if you can find an escort willing to do ?30 an hour she won't have enough hours in the day as everyone will want to see her!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 23 March 2011, 12:57:27 pm
Quote from: Anika Mae on 23 March 2011, 11:28:33 am
I'm posting this one mostly because I'm wondering if he's tried it with anyone else. I reckon it's a variation on "a friend gave me your number", and I'm meant to be trying to tempt him away from Maria with my sexy textiness. So, anyone else had this one?
Not specifically that person.
But I regularly get calls from people asking for:  "Random female name"
I think the callers are nervous / shy and just need a gentle bit of coaxing:
One or two sentences from me to show that I'm friendly, approachable and normal {ish... ::)}.
I then handle the call as any other enquiry, by asking if they are looking to book an escort, today.
Some of these calls then result in Coin.

"a friend gave me your number" My eyes roll up to the ceiling.
but again I handle those calls in the same way, and on occasion they also result in Coin.
On post-sex conversations they are open. It usually turns out that a friend did give them my number after all,
which considering how unaccepting society is of escorting, really seems weird, to me.
Hey ho.....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Stephanies Secrets on 24 March 2011, 04:01:06 pm
Had a great one today...

Guy I've seen before calls me this morning to ask if I'm working today. I tell him yes and at what times. He mentions that he is going away tomorrow and says he'll call me back this afternoon. So far so good.

I get a text.

Hii Stephanie.... Can I Giv u de money tomm

Errrr... let me think.... assuming 'tomm' is 'tomorrow' and not 'at the start of our appointment'... NO!  ::)

I explain that it's always money upfront.

Ohh ok... I'm getting my money only tomm

Hm, maybe he should call me tomm then, Oh, he can't, he's going away tomorrow isn't he? So I didn't bother replying to that one and ate some cake instead  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 24 March 2011, 04:48:11 pm
Quote from: Stephanies Secrets on 24 March 2011, 04:01:06 pm

So I didn't bother replying to that one and ate some cake instead  ;D


Good call! lol

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Stephanies Secrets on 24 March 2011, 05:34:06 pm
Quote from: Coty on 24 March 2011, 04:48:11 pm
Good call! lol

Coty xxx

I find cake to be the antidote to all kinds of stoooopid  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 24 March 2011, 06:01:19 pm
Quote from: Stephanies Secrets on 24 March 2011, 05:34:06 pm

I find cake to be the antidote to all kinds of stoooopid  ;)

I find chocolate is the cure:-) no wonder I'm a BBW with all the twats out there! lmao

Coty xxx

[Edited to fix quote]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 25 March 2011, 01:38:32 am
I hadn't heard from Desperately Seeking Maria in about a day, then this afternoon as I was going into town I missed a call. I only heard one ring, but since there was background I could have missed the previous ones, so I sent my missed call template text (it says if you call now I can answer). At that point it occurred to me to check if it was him and yes, it was. I wondered if he was going to call back and finally talk to me, but nope, he sent another text instead. It said,

Quote
Is this Susie?

LOL.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 25 March 2011, 08:17:16 am
Quote from: Anika Mae on 25 March 2011, 01:38:32 am
I hadn't heard from Desperately Seeking Maria in about a day, then this afternoon as I was going into town I missed a call. I only heard one ring, but since there was background I could have missed the previous ones, so I sent my missed call template text (it says if you call now I can answer). At that point it occurred to me to check if it was him and yes, it was. I wondered if he was going to call back and finally talk to me, but nope, he sent another text instead. It said,

Quote
Is this Susie?

LOL.

He's definitely working his way up the alphabet Anika, he will be asking if you are Xenia by this time next week! ;D

I had a text last night 'Whereabouts r u? I need your full address not just a vague answer plz, wot service u do? can I cum in yr mouth?'

As you can imagine I text ed him back immediately with all the details he requested and an offer of a ?50 discount as a reward for his charm ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 25 March 2011, 11:31:30 pm
"hi,

i am interested in only a prostate massage.

i am suffering from Chronic Prostatitis which is a very painful and discomforting condition.

i heard that getting a Prostate Massage helps ease the pain (temporarily).

how much will this cost for only a Prostate Massage ?

Will it include me ejaculating or not ?"

This has to be thee funniest email I have ever had on Adultwork.

He can get a prostate exam FREE on the NHS lol, but I bet that wouldn't include him ejaculating  ;D
Chancers!


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 26 March 2011, 02:48:38 am
Text at 1am tonight. Crouch end? Now?

Are these guys mental? Who in their right mind would respond to a text like that?

Coty x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 26 March 2011, 08:55:42 am
Quote from: Coty on 26 March 2011, 02:48:38 am
Text at 1am tonight. Crouch end? Now?

Are these guys mental? Who in their right mind would respond to a text like that?

Coty x

You couldn't accuse him of not getting straight to the point though could you Coty? ;D
I got a text yesterday simply asking 'You Ava?' I felt like texting back 'No I'm Simone' but I thought it might melt his one remaining braincell if I did ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 26 March 2011, 09:01:00 am
Quote from: Simone on 26 March 2011, 08:55:42 am
You couldn't accuse him of not getting straight to the point though could you Coty? ;D
I got a text yesterday simply asking 'You Ava?' I felt like texting back 'No I'm Simone' but I thought it might melt his one remaining braincell if I did ;)

Too funny  ;D

and yeah, straight to the point, I was going to be equally straight to the point back but then I'd have wasted 10p on a text lol

Coty x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lolo on 26 March 2011, 06:51:51 pm
"Hello baby,

I am so pleased to write you. You really look beautiful and would love to meet you.
I am doing my best to be short and direct so there is no misunderstand overall. This is my proposal, I really hope it will fit you and will be acceptable to you:
I would like to invite you to Morocco (Casablanca) for 1 nights in a nice hotel of the city. I will give you the name of the hotel and book the room under you name if it will make you comfortable. Of course I will provide you with a prepaid round trip plane ticket.I would love to fulfill one of my fantasies with a superb looking lady as you. Please allow me to describe it: it is to spend one night full of sex trying to measure how many times I am able to ?cum?. I have tried the same plan before and I could realize 6 times. I would love to challenge this number and see if I could? Could you help me in this ? please let me know.
Due to my family obligation I will not unfortunately be able to enjoy any outside activities with you.What a shame from my side. This is to spend this day/night with you at the hotel practicing sex. I know this is no much fun for you but it is really the situation so I prefer to let you know before and hope you tolerate. Our relation and interaction during all this time will be purely sexual.
If this is acceptable to you please could you inform me about your conditions (pricewise) or others so we can pursue further.
I am open to any of your questions.

My very best regards"

Blimey well at least they are 'upfront' !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sammy s on 26 March 2011, 10:49:04 pm
Hello sweety, You are absolutly Goddess:-) I am a driving instructor and I would like to offer You a deal:-) If You have no driving licence, You can have one with me for free, just we can swap the service:-) I am working for one of the biggest driving schools in UK, so You will drive brand new car :-))). I will offer You lessons for the time with You. Driving licence cost about 800 GBP. So we can have in car sessions about 2-3 hours than after I will spend about 30 min with You :-))) It is up to You. I am very nice and friendly mate, i am 30 years old:-))) I came from western europe, but living in London about 8 years now:-)) If You wish I will send You my pictures:-))) If You have already driving licence please ignore this letter. I am not time waster :-)))) Thank You for Your time. Have a nice day:-)))

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 27 March 2011, 12:01:11 am
Quote from: sammy s on 26 March 2011, 10:49:04 pm
Hello sweety, You are absolutly Goddess:-) I am a driving instructor and I would like to offer You a deal:-) If You have no driving licence, You can have one with me for free, just we can swap the service:-) I am working for one of the biggest driving schools in UK, so You will drive brand new car :-))). I will offer You lessons for the time with You. Driving licence cost about 800 GBP. So we can have in car sessions about 2-3 hours than after I will spend about 30 min with You :-))) It is up to You. I am very nice and friendly mate, i am 30 years old:-))) I came from western europe, but living in London about 8 years now:-)) If You wish I will send You my pictures:-))) If You have already driving licence please ignore this letter. I am not time waster :-)))) Thank You for Your time. Have a nice day:-)))



Good grief!
These just get crazier and crazier!!!!!!!

I have to ask...do you have a driving license? lol

Coty x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pennymoney on 29 March 2011, 07:52:55 am
This one from a guy on AW freaked me out yesterday;

Quote
"Hi there, I live just around the corner to you! I've seen you in the cafe with a man."

Brb, never leaving the flat again. So happy I got a security gate and a spy hole on the front door.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 29 March 2011, 09:00:17 am
Quote from: Pennymoney on 29 March 2011, 07:52:55 am
This one from a guy on AW freaked me out yesterday;

Quote
"Hi there, I live just around the corner to you! I've seen you in the cafe with a man."

Brb, never leaving the flat again. So happy I got a security gate and a spy hole on the front door.

OMG Pennymoney that is terrifying, what an absolute creep, hope you are OK?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 29 March 2011, 12:11:33 pm
Quote from: Pennymoney on 29 March 2011, 07:52:55 am
This one from a guy on AW freaked me out yesterday;

Quote
"Hi there, I live just around the corner to you! I've seen you in the cafe with a man."

Brb, never leaving the flat again. So happy I got a security gate and a spy hole on the front door.

EEEK!!!  That's scary!
Stay safe!

Coty x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pennymoney on 29 March 2011, 02:53:31 pm
Quote from: Simone on 29 March 2011, 09:00:17 am
Quote from: Pennymoney on 29 March 2011, 07:52:55 am
This one from a guy on AW freaked me out yesterday;

Quote
"Hi there, I live just around the corner to you! I've seen you in the cafe with a man."

Brb, never leaving the flat again. So happy I got a security gate and a spy hole on the front door.

OMG Pennymoney that is terrifying, what an absolute creep, hope you are OK?

I'm ok, just a little unnerved. The bloke has no feedback (surprise, surprise) but uses his real name as his login, haha.  I know if I ignore it, he'll forget about it. He did send it at 1am.

Just to be on the safe side, I took down all my pics and changed em all to B/W for I do have a distinct hair colour. Face pics are all in private gallery now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 29 March 2011, 04:01:51 pm
^^^^
 :( it is crap when people do this sort of thing tho.

With mails and on the phone I sometimes find it hard to understand if its a case of people genuinely having ZERO sense of appropriate boundaries and what is intentional scary creepy sh*t.

I stopped answering one potential clients mails as he was a boundary pusher, then turned on the phone one morning and had a message from him 'don't be scared jane, lets talk' ....erm. I DONT like that kind of stuff at all. *shudder*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 29 March 2011, 10:10:10 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 29 March 2011, 04:01:51 pm

With mails and on the phone I sometimes find it hard to understand if its a case of people genuinely having ZERO sense of appropriate boundaries and what is intentional scary creepy sh*t.

I stopped answering one potential clients mails as he was a boundary pusher, then turned on the phone one morning and had a message from him 'don't be scared jane, lets talk' ....erm. I DONT like that kind of stuff at all. *shudder*

I had it with one guy, (way before i found this forum), emailed for a booking. All sounded fine so I asked for address. He only sent postcode saying he would give me the rest once i get there!! It says on my profile a booking can not be confirmed without a full address so I simply declined the booking hoping he'd go away. He didnt and ranted on about his security! He actually said "you wouldnt give your address out to a stranger would youi?", "yes" I replied "if i asked someone to come to my house id pretty much accept id have to give them my address!

Then i got email saying "I know where you live", which i ignored. then he email "you live in **my street**"!!

When I asked him what his point was I honestly couldnt believe it!! He said he was trying too prove how genuine he was!!  :o  ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Krystle on 29 March 2011, 11:54:18 pm
Quote from: Friday on 29 March 2011, 10:10:10 pm
I had it with one guy, (way before i found this forum), emailed for a booking. All sounded fine so I asked for address. He only sent postcode saying he would give me the rest once i get there!! It says on my profile a booking can not be confirmed without a full address so I simply declined the booking hoping he'd go away. He didnt and ranted on about his security! He actually said "you wouldnt give your address out to a stranger would youi?", "yes" I replied "if i asked someone to come to my house id pretty much accept id have to give them my address!

Then i got email saying "I know where you live", which i ignored. then he email "you live in **my street**"!!

When I asked him what his point was I honestly couldnt believe it!! He said he was trying too prove how genuine he was!!  :o  ::)



FFS, lol.  Surely these guys realise they are only shooting themselves in the foot when they behave like this?

I've had my fair share of blood curdling emails on AW;  Some of which have left me staring at my screen, slack jawed for the best for of 5 minutes before I hit the delete button  ??? It's really quite bewildering what some men think of as an appropriate proposal for a booking, hmmm, lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 30 March 2011, 12:39:44 am
Phonecall this afternoon

Him: 'Oh hello, I saw your advert on Vivastreet and would love to come and see you this afternoon, how much is it for half an hour?'

Me: It's ?70 for half an hour

Him: Longggggggggggggggg pause which made me worry he might have died mid conversation ;D 'Oh, I'm assuming you must be VERY attractive then?'

Me: 'Why would you assume that?'

Him: 'Well you are charging a VERY high rate for Sunderland......... (I'm afraid the rest was sadly lost in the midst of time as I hung up on him)

Why oh why do people feel compelled to go on in such a manner? As if I'm ever going to accept a booking with him once he's said that? If he did turn up he would spend the whole 30 minutes fretting hugely over the massive amounts of cash he is allegedly parting with, looking for every single flaw in my appearance and personality then rushing off after to write a bitter review on PN.

Wow what an attractive proposition!  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 30 March 2011, 12:48:43 am
Quote from: Krystle on 29 March 2011, 11:54:18 pm
Some of which have left me staring at my screen, slack jawed for the best for of 5 minutes before I hit the delete button  ??? It's really quite bewildering what some men think of as an appropriate proposal for a booking, hmmm, lol

Never fails to suprise me but one thing i never do is delete them because you can view you history with a person even if the change there username I leave them..and hope they get buried quickly lol  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 30 March 2011, 12:56:23 am
Quote from: Friday on 30 March 2011, 12:48:43 am
Quote from: Krystle on 29 March 2011, 11:54:18 pm
Some of which have left me staring at my screen, slack jawed for the best for of 5 minutes before I hit the delete button  ??? It's really quite bewildering what some men think of as an appropriate proposal for a booking, hmmm, lol

Never fails to suprise me but one thing i never do is delete them because you can view you history with a person even if the change there username I leave them..and hope they get buried quickly lol  ;D

I like to save them sometimes as well so I can actually watch their usernames changing on a weekly basis, One particular TW I have saved has changed his name 5 times since March :o

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 30 March 2011, 09:25:17 am
Quote from: Friday on 29 March 2011, 10:10:10 pm
Then i got email saying "I know where you live", which i ignored. then he email "you live in **my street**"!!

When I asked him what his point was I honestly couldnt believe it!! He said he was trying too prove how genuine he was!!  :o  ::)



*gobsmacked* 'genuine'??  oh dear oh dear. really like your style of stepping him out and asking 'what his point was' tho, there's a self assurance in it that is good self defense.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 30 March 2011, 11:35:20 am
Quote from: sweet jane on 30 March 2011, 09:25:17 am
really like your style of stepping him out and asking 'what his point was' tho, there's a self assurance in it that is good self defense.

ha lol  :D

Maybe ive just been in the industry for long enough now that alot of the crap off the guys makes me go "yawn, you're so boring and unoriginal" lol  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 30 March 2011, 11:38:34 pm
An adultwork message I've just received at 23:35

"Hi Dionne... I tried to book an appointment a few weeks ago... without much luck!! :o(
Well after reading thru your profile and looking at your great pics (AGAIN).. I simply had to get in touch! I am as luck would have it staying in Coventry this evening - Wednesday March 30th. I'm afraid I couldnt contact you any sooner as I only just got here and fired up my laptop ;o(

I'm (joker), 36yrold ENGLISH/BRITISH mixed race, 6,2" tall fairly athletic & attractive (well I think so).
Up here on business and looking for an hours adult naughty fun :o)
I simply adore cute girls... especially those that know how to put a smile on a mans face !
I especially enjoy:
- short skirts
- heels
- sexy underwear
- very sensual touchy sessions
- Curvy black girls
I'm looking for an outcall to my hotel tonight? I truly hope you can make it?

I can promise a nice room - smoking room at that!!! Hope your ok with this?

I enjoy all aspect of adult fun.. but mostly mild dom and the kinkier side of adult fun! Lots of kissing, massage and 100% SAFE fun!!

Please let me know if your able to make the outcall?

Kind regards

(joker)

xxxxxxxxx"

1- my minimum booking outside brum is 2 hours
2- I need 2 hours notice
3- I don't work past 12 midnight
 Zzzzzzzzzzzzz
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 31 March 2011, 03:15:34 am
Joker indeed...very apt name!

Coty x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 31 March 2011, 09:12:12 am
This message arrived in my in box this morning (went to junk appropriately enough)

i thought that i best email u first to see if u r willing to do this because it is quite pervy, nad i dont want to meet up a find out that u r not willing.
basically ive got a thing for my older sister and for quite sometime now ive been looking for an escort girl who looks like her and ive checked out your wbesite and seen your pics and u could be her double. so i was wondering if u would be willing to pretend to be her for me and how much would it cost.

Come on girls and guys, how much should I charge this at best total fantasist and at worst utter twisted pervert? I just can't decide ;) **Shudders**
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 31 March 2011, 10:11:39 am
Tell him you find the idea of incest disgusting,
You actually are his sister
and that you're telling on him,
to mum and dad.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 31 March 2011, 10:23:17 am
Jodie pmsl
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 31 March 2011, 04:29:13 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 31 March 2011, 10:11:39 am
Tell him you find the idea of incest disgusting,
You actually are his sister
and that you're telling on him,
to mum and dad.

lmao...brilliant!

Coty x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 31 March 2011, 04:38:28 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 31 March 2011, 10:11:39 am
Tell him you find the idea of incest disgusting,
You actually are his sister
and that you're telling on him,
to mum and dad.

Lol love it Jodie!

'Well actually bro theres a reason I remind you so much of your sister! oh and by the way you can forget your side of the inheritance money now' ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 31 March 2011, 05:42:11 pm
I'm getting them all today!!!!
 Call received at 4:20 this afternoon

Him: hi can I make a booking today at 6pm?
Me: yes, where abouts are you?
Him: London
o_O
Bearing in mind 1) i'm based in Birmingham. 2) on no where on my site does it say I do outcalls to London 3) even if I took him up on his offer it takes an hour and a half to get to London

Where do these men come from!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 31 March 2011, 06:55:38 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 31 March 2011, 05:42:11 pm
Bearing in mind 1) i'm based in Birmingham. 2) on no where on my site does it say I do outcalls to London 3) even if I took him up on his offer it takes an hour and a half to get to London

Where do these men come from!!!!

I get calls too london with as much notice and I'm in scotland! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 01 April 2011, 01:45:48 pm
Desperately Seeking Maria is back!

"Hi Anika Mae - are you working today and if yes, can I stop by? I can't call at the moment but please just let me know a time and place. Mark"

I hope this isn't the end. I'm right curious to see how far he'll compromise his weirdness in order to have me acknowledge him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 01 April 2011, 10:58:11 pm
I've just seen a reverse booking on AW

12 hours outcall for ?300
 ???

even more shocking 24 girls have bid on it!!!!  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 01 April 2011, 11:39:53 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 01 April 2011, 10:58:11 pm
I've just seen a reverse booking on AW

12 hours outcall for ?300
 ???

even more shocking 24 girls have bid on it!!!!  :o

If its the one Im thinking of (there was no bids when i saw it)

?300.. fine.. thats down to a girls choice of course.. until you read what he wants... Bareback, Cim, Anal! idiot  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 02 April 2011, 12:06:52 am
I wouldn't take the bid numbers too seriously. I think a lot of bids are scammy so there'll always be unrealistic ones, and you can also bid over the requested fee if you want.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 02 April 2011, 12:51:27 am
Quote from: Friday on 01 April 2011, 11:39:53 pm
?300.. fine.. thats down to a girls choice of course.. until you read what he wants... Bareback, Cim, Anal! idiot  ::)

This keeps coming on...it gets loads of bids, then the next time there's no bids, then loads of bids! Weird.

But I was shocked how many were agreeing to bb!

Coty x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 02 April 2011, 12:52:27 am
It's was in the birmingham area so probably a different one to the one you were looking at xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 02 April 2011, 11:20:35 am
Quote from: Coty on 02 April 2011, 12:51:27 am
Quote from: Friday on 01 April 2011, 11:39:53 pm
?300.. fine.. thats down to a girls choice of course.. until you read what he wants... Bareback, Cim, Anal! idiot  ::)

This keeps coming on...it gets loads of bids, then the next time there's no bids, then loads of bids! Weird.

But I was shocked how many were agreeing to bb!

Coty x

I was shocked yes but I think what you have to remember is you do bid with your own price and I've picked up over time that some girls will bid way over the "suggested" price
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 05 April 2011, 01:48:35 am
Quote
hi,
 
where can i find nuru massage in bahrain. if it is not in bahrain, where other than bahrain.
 
looking forward for your reply
 
regards

Given that I don't offer nuru massage and I'm not in Bahrain (I don't even know where that is?) this has to be the least efficient way of finding an escort ever  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: misscleo on 05 April 2011, 08:27:15 am
^^ Yes i got the Nuru massage email too, bloody freaks!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 05 April 2011, 10:11:39 am
Have to include this one from AW because it just made me lol so much this morning.....

Hi

I know you must get a thousand emails a day and rightly so .
You probably get loads asking the same as im going to but here goes . as they say shy boys dont get....

Im a male escort in the area and I was wondering if you ever needed a male companion to work with? There Ive said it so you can now delete this message along with all your other timewasters. But I hope you will give me the chance to prove im as genuine as i say I do hope you will get in touch I am proffesional I assure you and not just after a freeby.

Look forward to you getting in touch and I will send you my mobile if you want.
Talk soon

Mr Deluded.

Ps you photos look great tyour very beautiful and sexy

If anyone wants me to pass his details along so you can take him up on his 100% genuine and non freebie hunting offer please PM me ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 05 April 2011, 10:59:27 am
He's not freebie hunting, he's offering to send you his mobile! Maybe it's an iPhone 4 ;D.

(Bahrain is next to Saudi Arabia.)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 05 April 2011, 11:13:56 am
More likely, it hangs off his bedroom roof, has been there since he was six, and has stars and spaceships and things :)

(Currently in the news because of it's one of the countries with popular unrest going on. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2011_Bahraini_protests (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2011_Bahraini_protests))
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 05 April 2011, 12:12:05 pm
Quote from: misscleo on 05 April 2011, 08:27:15 am
^^ Yes i got the Nuru massage email too, bloody freaks!!

I wonder if it's a Nuru gel seller trying to create interest in the product by pretending to be a client (from any old random place) looking for the service? Or perhaps I am deeply cynical even at my tender age? ;D

On the other hand, maybe the thing you really need when dealing with riots and mad politics and whatnot is a bloody good Nuru massage. I'm pretty sure that receiving one would make me literally belly-laugh for the whole 90 minutes - hilarious sliding around in slimy seaweed and being bathed like an old person etc - so yes, next time there's a protest here I think I'll start sending emails to people in different countries requesting the service, too!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 10 April 2011, 10:11:18 pm
Hi Dear,

Yes dear I need appointment for your home. I mean in call service. Please also tell me your discounted price. I will be very thankful to you.

Thanks,
Mr DayDreamer

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 10 April 2011, 10:26:31 pm
Quote from: Friday on 10 April 2011, 10:11:18 pm
Hi Dear,

Yes dear I need appointment for your home. I mean in call service. Please also tell me your discounted price. I will be very thankful to you.

Thanks,
Mr DayDreamer

 ::)

lmao what is this 'discounted price' he speaks of??? hahahahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 10 April 2011, 10:45:54 pm
and again, I only do outcalls, it says so many time on my profile anmd website!

Hi

I use a wheelchair to get around and was just wondering how accessible your place is?

Kenny x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 10 April 2011, 10:53:41 pm
Text i received today
"Hi, can you please tell me what you look like?"

WTF my pictures are on the same website you got my number from!!!!!
 >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 20 April 2011, 10:39:39 am
Text this morning

"Hi babe (ugh :P) I saw you when you were with your old agency and it was gud. I will be happy to see you again for an hour if you only charge me the same price you did through the agency. Let me know what you think" xxx

I don't think he REALLY wants to know what I think do you?  So glad that he would be 'happy' to see me at a discounted rate. Gosh I feel almost tearful, I'm so honoured ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Thayla on 20 April 2011, 12:02:26 pm
"hey babe your pics are hot, would you be interested in K9 for triple your fee, it would turn me on so much."

I actually went & googled K9, thought it must be something I don't know about but alas not- don't think I can write the exact response I gave him but I'm pretty sure you can all work it out!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Iman on 20 April 2011, 02:29:37 pm
Me: so, I'm going to need your address
Him: I know a discreet field...

 ::)

I just said he was talking to the wrong woman. Honestly, a field!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jezebeldays on 20 April 2011, 03:32:19 pm
recieved this today ...
i was wondering if youd like to get involved in makin a sex tape with me for porn site im creating, any pay will be in the form of the tape as final product and you can put it on here for credits etc

if your interested email xx%$??"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sammy s on 20 April 2011, 09:20:04 pm
Got this email on AW today:

Madame,
Would you be interested in a 2 hour booking with me tonight and instead of a cash payment I can offer you a kitten from the new litter I have. She has some health problems but is adorable.
Let me know soon so I can arrange to have her packaged up for you.
Warm Regards


A kitten??!! Packaged up?! It's not a bloody parcel. Some men are so random!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 20 April 2011, 09:33:02 pm
Quote from: sammy s on 20 April 2011, 09:20:04 pm
She has some health problems but is adorable.
Let me know soon so I can arrange to have her packaged up for you.
Warm Regards

That one MUST be a joke. :o A horrible, unfunny joke; it just can't be real!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sammy s on 20 April 2011, 09:44:09 pm
I know!!! Surely it cant be true unless he's completely insane.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 20 April 2011, 10:44:35 pm
 :o Not even 'fuck me for a kitten', but 'fuck me for a sick kitten who may not be weaned yet, despite me knowing nothing about how suitable a home you'd be for her'!



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Iman on 20 April 2011, 11:21:18 pm
 :o

A kitten? That's just... I don't even...

Worth forwarding to the relevant authorities maybe? He's probably joking, but if he isn't those kitties need to be as far away from that daft numpty as possible.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 21 April 2011, 12:27:15 am
The biggest joke is a kittens not worth much especially a sick one!

Wierdo  :o

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sara1980 on 21 April 2011, 01:27:24 pm

A couple of texts that made me lol.....

'I see another lass near 'town' and I get as long as I want for ?25'   ::) Sure you do!! Enjoy your next visit to her then!

This one just in......

Him - 'HELLO??' What can you do for ?50???'
Me   - 'With an attitude like that? Nothing at all!' lol

Sweet Lord! - Do I seriously look like a charity? hahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Iman on 23 April 2011, 04:29:25 pm
From adultwork

"Hi

just taken a look at your profile and very intrigued. New here, yet hoped to find a genuine member who can introduce me to AW.

Please take a look at my profile as i am genuinely seeking services, and have completed as many details as possible including pics. sorry didnt read the profile properly before sending this yet wondered if you offer 1/2 service for an initial meet.
As mentioned in my profile i can provide any further details if required."

If you'd read my bloody profile before mailing, you'd have discovered that the answer was "No"  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 23 April 2011, 04:32:53 pm
WTF? At least he's upfront about his uselessness though.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 23 April 2011, 08:25:15 pm
I love how he repetedly asks you to read his detailed profile, no doubt full of things no escort would ever care about, but can't be bothered to read yours  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 23 April 2011, 08:51:01 pm
Quote from: Krystal Champagne on 23 April 2011, 08:25:15 pm
I love how he repetedly asks you to read his detailed profile, no doubt full of things no escort would ever care about, but can't be bothered to read yours  ;D

Ha. It does happen sometimes that someone with a really detailed AW profile - obviously unusual because why would any punter put his face picture on a site like that?! - or even through regular email insists that I see what they look like before I accept their booking. And I'm like: wut? Do you want me to decide whether or not I fancy you before I allow you to book?! Do you not understand the entire point of my job?!? ;D

(Also, I find these pictures invariably amusing, but then I think everyone looks a bit silly when trying to look extremely sexXxi in pictures!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Karin on 24 April 2011, 08:49:08 am
Woke to this one on V.St...

"I am an asian, 20 year old young man, I am new for all this but I need to fuck a woman. your age is very suitable for but I don't have money to meet you. I am just moved from london with my family, and searching for jobs now. Is anybody you know who needs a young man for dating or naughty fun or for some sex..............get in touch with me........I need some one aged between 30 to 45. Actually, how much you charge for an hour?................thanks........help me find someone for free naughty things but when I get a job I will meet you for 3 or 4 hours.................thanks"

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 24 April 2011, 11:30:27 am
Just before 11pm, last night.

*ring ring*
me: Hello
young man: Hello?
me: Hi
young man: I think I've got the wrong number.
me: Ok. Have a nice evening. Bye.

30 seconds later.

*ring ring*
me: Hello
young man: Hi. Where are you based?
me: Didn't you just call me and say you got the wrong number?
young man: Yeah I did.
me: So do you know who you're calling?
young man: Er no.
me: Then what does it matter where I'm based?
young man: Er I don't know my friend just passed the phone to me.
me: Ok, well why don't you just go off and drink some more and not think about me.
young man: Er ok then.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 25 April 2011, 10:10:53 am
I was reading this very thread, 5 minutes ago, when the pre-pay rings:
-Hi, where are you?
In bed. Where are you?
-Basingstoke
I don't advertise in that area, but if you want to travel up to my town, fine. What's your name?
-Bradley. OK, see you in an hour or so.
Fine; phone me when you get here

Then a text:  - Fancy some phone fun?
{I knew it was a fake appointment from the first sentence; sometimes you can just tell}
My text back: Sure, phone me

Bradley then rings for some hot sex chat
Bradley hangs up

Then Bradley sends another text:
-very funny. I wanted a hot sex chat with you.

Bradley now shows up on my phone as "Blocked Bradley"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 25 April 2011, 10:39:29 pm
LMAO....brilliant:-)

Coty x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lexi on 26 April 2011, 11:43:09 am
Love this:

hi as am low on cash at the moment, will you accept a 'Nokia 5530' mobile phone as a form of payment for a 30 mins appointment? its worth ?100 in shops, i'm 18 years old. thanks

Naaaaah thanks.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 26 April 2011, 02:14:06 pm
Quote from: Lexi on 26 April 2011, 11:43:09 am
hi as am low on cash at the moment, will you accept a 'Nokia 5530' mobile phone as a form of payment for a 30 mins appointment? its worth ?100 in shops, i'm 18 years old. thanks

Naaaaah thanks.

Lol, I love those ones, too. Because, dear boy, if that phone is "worth ?100 in shops" why don't you sell it? Then you can offer your preferred escort payment in cash, like a grown-up. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lexi on 26 April 2011, 03:06:52 pm
Exactly!! Why would I want to waste my time trying to sell his phone? I was thinking as well that even it was worth ?100 in the shops it wouldn't be worth that through private selling?

Nevermind at least he had to guts to try it! So very tempted to rely but hey ho better not haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 26 April 2011, 06:25:09 pm
Quote from: Lexi on 26 April 2011, 11:43:09 am
Love this:

hi as am low on cash at the moment, will you accept a 'Nokia 5530' mobile phone as a form of payment for a 30 mins appointment? its worth ?100 in shops, i'm 18 years old. thanks

Naaaaah thanks.

LMAO...oh my, they do try it on don't they? Never had anything as bizarre as that though! It's probably nicked too!

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lexi on 27 April 2011, 06:36:26 pm
Kk I actually have another - and this one really did rattle my cage, but needless to say I won't be replying!! Bit of background: On my adultwork profile I have put I am a geography student just so people feel like they know me a little before meeting.

1st text: R u really a geography student and if so, what does it consist of, know the longest river n the world?

Didnt reply to this as didn't pick it up until the second text:

2nd text: I am nt calling u a liar bt lets say i am a bit sceptical. It seems quite fashionable to claim to be a student.

Makes me LOL when i think about it... Seriously are you actually asking me this?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 27 April 2011, 08:29:37 pm
Quote from: Lexi on 27 April 2011, 06:36:26 pm
2nd text: I am nt calling u a liar bt lets say i am a bit sceptical. It seems quite fashionable to claim to be a student.

Makes me LOL when i think about it... Seriously are you actually asking me this?

Makes me LOL, too! The weirdest thing about this man's deep concern for The Truth is that there really isn't some magical difference between a student's vagina and a non-student's vagina (or levels of service etc, to be less crude :P) so I'm not sure what the point of some pillock going on a crusade to ask extremely complex and devious questions (like the one in your post above, ha) to determine whether or not you really are a student could be?!

Frankly, I know being a student might be a popular thing to claim because it implies youth and maybe part-time-ness or whatnot, but any sensible client would know you can have mature part-time students and any sort of in-between thing so all he needs to do to figure out whether or not he wants to see you is to read all the other words around the "student" bit in your profile.

Or I suppose he could just send texts that are quite hilarious because I imagine him literally frowning in consternation at your profile and feeling compelled to ask you (in illiterate txtspk, no less) if you really have TEH SMARTZ. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 27 April 2011, 09:52:34 pm
I get it all the time doing freechat, guys trying to ask "clever questions"  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: naughtyjas on 27 April 2011, 10:25:51 pm
What a wally, I would be tempted to tell him that Geography lessons are extra.

Jas x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 27 April 2011, 10:45:08 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 27 April 2011, 08:29:37 pm
I'm not sure what the point of some pillock going on a crusade to ask extremely complex and devious questions (like the one in your post above, ha) to determine whether or not you really are a student could be?!

The funniest thing is that it's not actually an easy question to answer and not doable accurately in 140 characters...

Next question 'Who killed John F Kennedy?' I know the correct answer :) and if you don't give it, you're clearly faking too :) :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 27 April 2011, 11:08:03 pm
Quote from: xw5 on 27 April 2011, 10:45:08 pm
The funniest thing is that it's not actually an easy question to answer and not doable accurately in 140 characters...

But the first skill you learn at school/uni is Googling! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 27 April 2011, 11:58:12 pm
OK, JFGI! does fit into a text message :)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 28 April 2011, 12:16:02 am
Quote
Hey sexy I would like to have an overnight booking with you at your place on 3rd May. I work music industry and have had a successful singing career so far.
My name is Dave im 40 years old, extremely handsome with a beautiful cock and balls.
However, I do not pay for sex so what I am offering is my voice for your hearing pleasure. I know this may seem unusual, but trust me I have an amazing voice and I'm willing to sing to you 10 songs of your choice. So basically you will enjoy some hot passionate sex with me and your own personal live concert from me!
Sorry if this was quite long but I am very much looking forward to meeting you as I'm sure you are excited too.
Thankyou
Dave x x x

Wow. Just... wow. The freebie hunters get more creative every time! Given that I don't do overnights at all it's an even worse offer. That said, given that he's offered me the choice of which 10 songs... I could really screw with him. We'll have some death metal, some opera written for a female singer, 'Taking the Hobbits to Isengard'... Oh and of course seeing as I always take payment up front, if any of them aren't up to standard I'll walk :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 28 April 2011, 01:51:27 am
"hi there..I got your number off your site..."

the simplest most annoying obvious statement that makes me want bank my head off the table!!! grrr
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 28 April 2011, 03:52:49 am
Quote from: naughtyjas on 27 April 2011, 10:25:51 pm
What a wally, I would be tempted to tell him that Geography lessons are extra.

Jas x

Ha ha ha....good one Jas.

Man what a prize twat! (him not you Jas lol) How not to book an escort indeed!
Don't know why but that's really annoyed me! lol

Coty.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 28 April 2011, 03:58:12 am
Quote from: Krystal Champagne on 28 April 2011, 12:16:02 am
Wow. Just... wow. The freebie hunters get more creative every time! Given that I don't do overnights at all it's an even worse offer. That said, given that he's offered me the choice of which 10 songs... I could really screw with him. We'll have some death metal, some opera written for a female singer, 'Taking the Hobbits to Isengard'... Oh and of course seeing as I always take payment up front, if any of them aren't up to standard I'll walk :P

LOL would be worth doing just for a laugh if you had someone outside in case he turned nasty after the concert!
Jesus wept!  He sounds like my brother. He's a bit...well a lot ...loopy loo, and he wanted to call me up and sing all his latest creations on the phone for my Birthday present two weeks ago! 

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lexi on 28 April 2011, 11:41:53 am
Quote from: Coty on 28 April 2011, 03:52:49 am
Quote from: naughtyjas on 27 April 2011, 10:25:51 pm
What a wally, I would be tempted to tell him that Geography lessons are extra.

Jas x

Ha ha ha....good one Jas.

Man what a prize twat! (him not you Jas lol) How not to book an escort indeed!
Don't know why but that's really annoyed me! lol

Coty.

I know! Maybe he's trying to prompt a text response from me even though I don't reply to texts, dunno, I just found it just really rude! If I was going to lie about being a student, i'd make it some amazing course, not frigging geography!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 28 April 2011, 11:50:10 am
Quote from: Friday on 28 April 2011, 01:51:27 am
"hi there..I got your number off your site..."

I don't mind this one actually. It means when they start asking about all the stuff they should have checked before they called, I don't need to establish that they have internet access and aren't coming from one of those bastard contact mags.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Thayla on 28 April 2011, 05:33:45 pm
Just had an e-mail from a young guy informing me that although he's short of cash he is offering M&S vouchers at under half my hourly rate as payment & went on to list what I could even spend them on food, think I need to put my rates up!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lexi on 28 April 2011, 06:24:20 pm
Oh my goood! Ridiculous! How dare people offer anything other than the going rate we charge, I find it sooo rude! If he rates his M&S vouchers so highly, why not use them himself? Grrrrr I would definitely refuse to ever see that person even if he did have the money!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 28 April 2011, 07:00:35 pm
Quote from: Krystal Champagne on 28 April 2011, 12:16:02 am
Quote
Hey sexy I would like to have an overnight booking with you at your place on 3rd May. I work music industry and have had a successful singing career so far.
My name is Dave im 40 years old, extremely handsome with a beautiful cock and balls.
However, I do not pay for sex so what I am offering is my voice for your hearing pleasure. I know this may seem unusual, but trust me I have an amazing voice and I'm willing to sing to you 10 songs of your choice. So basically you will enjoy some hot passionate sex with me and your own personal live concert from me!
Sorry if this was quite long but I am very much looking forward to meeting you as I'm sure you are excited too.
Thankyou
Dave x x x

Husband and I were discussing this and think the best response would be too say you need a sample of his voice and ask him too send you a recording..only fair lol  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Iman on 29 April 2011, 12:24:22 am
Lol, as I was reading that my first thought was "X-Factor reject". Given that actual stars pay up when hiring escorts, what on earth makes him think he's going to get special treatment?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LeticiaMorgan on 29 April 2011, 07:38:17 am
Well I have just spent the last couple of days reading this thread on and off. Thank you so much for all the laughs ladies! Some of you have very witty replies :)

Interestingly, it seems that idiocy and timewasters are a global issue. No matter where you go in the world, you always find:

a) punters thinking that they can obtain free sex
b) men pretending to be male escorts so they can obtain free sex, and;
c) punters thinking they can get sex cheaply

Christ on a bike! I will say that it's made me steer well clear of advertising on Adultwork  ;D My rates are probably too high for there anyway!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xxxtinyxxx on 30 April 2011, 11:32:54 pm
Hello everybody,

I have had an absolute day of it today so i pretended to be the receptionist on the phone today, well it didn't help me what so ever.

Man: Can i have details please
Me: Yes, runs through details,
Man: So do you work?
Me: No I'm just the receptionist
Man: Will you come in the room
Me: No i only answer the phone.
Man: Well can i show you my cock then?
Me: Click.

This happens to me probably everyday but its just the same if i say i am the girl on today.

I also had this today.

Man: Hello can you tell me who's working?
Me: Yes its Mak, have you been before?
Man: No,
Me: Did you want details
Man: I'm having a wank.

HA HA HA HA HA...Silly wanky little men they make me laugh.

Love N' Hugz.

Mak.
xxxxxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 01 May 2011, 01:34:49 am
Hey

We are an escort agency based in the united kingdom in glasgow. We would like you to come and work for us giving you an opportunity to make as much as ?1500 pounds a week, work for flexible hours and afford anything you want.

We are discrete and have ready clients, we help professionals and business men get the best companionship time possible.

Please reply if interested in this opportunity.
Diamond Escort
We are new in glasgow city centre we have alot of clients around the world visiting glasgow for plesure and business.
Visit our website diamondescortuk.webs.com
climateserial@live.co.uk

the website is delightfull and worth a look just to laugh at! lol


[De-linked so as not to help their search engine rank. You can still copy and paste if you want to see the site.]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 01 May 2011, 04:08:16 am
Quote from: Friday on 01 May 2011, 01:34:49 am

Visit our website diamondescortuk.webs.com
climateserial@live.co.uk

the website is delightfull and worth a look just to laugh at! lol

Ha ha ha ha ha. how professional! 2 dodgy pics of 'models' and they provide girl friend experience and girl friend experince! lmao And spotted that with just me having a quit glimpse for 2 minutes!

Coty xxx


[De-linked so as not to help their search engine rank. You can still copy and paste if you want to see the site.]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 01 May 2011, 09:10:20 am
Quote from: Friday on 01 May 2011, 01:34:49 am
. We would like you to come and work for us giving you an opportunity to make as much as ?1500 pounds a week, work for flexible hours and afford anything you want.



Hmm really. ?120 for 2 hours and platinum members get 50% discount. So its ?60 for two hours work minus the agency cut. Wow that really would make it hard to earn any money at all.

I love the free webs.com site they have. A professional agency really would not use a free site like them as their templates are basically all the same and vey unprofessional
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kimba on 01 May 2011, 10:35:03 am
Ha ha! That has to be a contender for the most amateur website!
Where did they get that 'gallery' model shot from?
It looks like a secretly taken camera-phone snapshot in an airport queue! 
Never mind protecting your website pics girls to avoid them being used - just wear dark glasses the next time you are browsing the veg in Asda!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 01 May 2011, 11:57:18 am
Ha when I first looked there was no gallery!

Just too fill in the gaps the AW member that sent me this is 21 years old! Barely old enough to even have an appointment with me. Yet another cheeky little shit who thinks he'll get rich easy, the biggest mistake everyone makes with the industry is too assume it's "easy money". Welcome to business little boy, it's bloody hard work!  >:(

I see there is also a mobile number now so will be adding that too the ignore list lol just in case.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KirstyPink on 01 May 2011, 05:13:59 pm
My first thought was that the pic of 'Melisa' was taken in an airport queue. Also on the services page, it says at the bottom that they provide "anything else the gentleman wants inclusive" erm do the 'models' get a say in that then lol.

And what is with the email address:- climateserial@live.co.uk....Huh?!

What I don't understand is why people go to so much trouble setting up a site and stuff and for what?! If it is to 'scam' people they need to do better than that site and pics .... :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 01 May 2011, 05:45:36 pm
Quote from: Belle.Pink on 01 May 2011, 05:13:59 pm
What I don't understand is why people go to so much trouble setting up a site and stuff and for what?! If it is to 'scam' people they need to do better than that site and pics .... :o

Well, to be honest, a lot of people fall for scams all over the Internet, even if they might seem obvious to the trained eye!

And I'm pretty sure setting up an escort directory costs only a few hundred quid and can (if it's successful) pull in an income of thousands per month or more, hence all those spammy emails we get all the time asking us to register for our free listing and then pay ?100+ for a Top Listing or whatever; it doesn't matter to them if your site gets zero hits from theirs cos they've already got the cash and there's nothing anyone can do about it without a costly legal battle that nobody can afford, especially if they've just been ripped off.

These sorts of "agency" websites are even worse - I think the business model involves setting up a site, like a trap, and just waiting til an unfortunately naive newbie falls right into it. They might take said newbie's money upfront (promising them tons of bookings, a la the straight male escorting scammers) or if they are evil enough, they might try to whore her out directly, sending her on bookings (I know at least one story of a woman sent to service the "agency" owners' friends and then obviously not being paid; the whole fake agency was set up to get the bunch of cretins laid and I think the woman was pretty traumatised from the abuse of her trust and of her body) without any security checks or safety procedures whatsoever.

Ugh. Don't get me started on my scammer rants. :P I hate them all with a passion. Especially as sex workers tend to be an industrious bunch who just want to earn their own living and (ideally) pay their taxes and be good people without bothering anyone else; the fact that we're a large target market for lazy, stupid and evil con-people makes me sick!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xxxtinyxxx on 01 May 2011, 10:49:08 pm
Quote from: Friday on 01 May 2011, 01:34:49 am
Visit our website diamondescortuk.webs.com
climateserial@live.co.uk[/i]


HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE....HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...

That is the best website i have ever seen...Proper top class models...

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....I'm holding my sides...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 01 May 2011, 11:18:27 pm
I dont really believe this guys is a "scammer" just an idiot! lol  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 02 May 2011, 09:16:49 am
Quote from: Friday on 01 May 2011, 11:18:27 pm
I dont really believe this guys is a "scammer" just an idiot! lol  ::)

That's what I  think about all of the lame attempts at freebies that I've seen in my working life, but if they didn't usually work on at least one unfortunate victim, the scammers/idiots wouldn't bother at all. Even this guy's horrendous website isn't much different to some of the cheap or free templated ones I've seen which have convinced various 'straight male escorts' and 'non-sexual companions' to part with their cash before they ended up here asking for our help.

It's alright to laugh, of course, at a really bad attempt - but they all fill me with a general sense of unease!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweetshop_Girl on 02 May 2011, 02:13:59 pm
Just had a booking by phone for an hour, then  he text me  asking to pay for only 30 mins  as it's a bank hoilday and he is a bit skint,  but still wanted the hour as he does not like to rush

Ignore list just got longer

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweetshop_Girl on 03 May 2011, 08:15:59 am
One this morning
I got up to see a missed call at 1.54am  ::), anyway the same number calls at 8am

Him, do you do half hours ?

Me, No (while thinking was that want he was going to ask me at 1.54am)

Him, oh only I don't have much time...

Me, oh that's a shame (while thinking, why are you moving abroad, dying, or really you're trying for a discount)

Him, I would really like to see you

Me, Cool I would like to see you (not) call me when you have more time, but not at 1.54am, bye.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RoxyBlu on 03 May 2011, 02:48:29 pm
Lol these are making me smile  :) What is it with these men?

I saw a guy a couple of weeks ago, now as I specialise in the fetish/BDSM scene I expect to meet a few weirdos, but this guy was something special....

He booked me for an hour but when he arrived said he could only stay for half of the session (he did however pay for the full hour) during his booking he pretended/role played that we were in a swinging club and that there were other men in the room. He even went as far as talking to all these imaginary individuals. He then had me on a lead hooked it on a door handle then thanked the door for looking after his puppy dog!!! I have no clue how I didnt laugh. He had a great time, left me fantastic feedback and seen me again since.

Anyway back to "how not to book an escort"...... He calls me last week asking if i fancied a group session with him and a couple of friends, I said okay knowing that these types of booking generally never happen unless I have organised a filmed session. The guy asks how much so I say I'll charge them each my normal rate for 1 hour which is ?150 but let them have 2 hours so they are effectively saving ?100 each. He flipped, he wanted to split the ?150 between him and four mates inclusive of all services, Anal, bondage, spanking etc and when I told him to go and find someone who was willing to do everything for ?30 each he told me he could get a model for the prices I charged!!! and apparently i'm not that good looking to be worth that amount of money....

Needless to say he is now blocked!!!! >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 04 May 2011, 02:18:48 pm
"Firstly you look gorgeous, great job on looking so good. A bit about me then....22 year old male student studying biology at uni. Im in my last year. I like to have a good time with my freinds but theres one experience I want to share with you and maybe you could help me out?

One time after an exam me and a few mates were studying in a at one of my freinds house. Then at about 9pm it was just me and a freind (she was a nice looking girl, i have to admit) were studying together until about 11pm. I asked her if it was okay if i took a nap and she said go ahead. So I placed the pillow on the floor and fell asleep. I woke up and there she was pinning me down, my head was in between her thighs...I was shocked...I mean how would you feel. Then she was telling me its just a joke and that she would get off. She got up, turned around and she sat on my face. She had jean shorts on at the time.....I was really turned on. She would get up every minute or so and let me breathe before sitting on my face again. She later told me that I got a hard one and she was puzzled. She just wanted to get me back for that day I hid here phone but she was amazed that Id enjoyed it. I dont have the manhood to ask here to do it again so here I am now asking if you are willing to help me here?

I take hygeine very seriously as well trust me so I wouldnt like you sitting on me nude but instead jeans/jeanshorts-something that offers some sort of barrier between my face and your back side if you understand what I mean. Please get back to me, thanks."

Haaaaahaaaahaaa!!!! Obvious copy and paste job, but someone sounds like a fantasist with a little bit too much time on his hands!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LeticiaMorgan on 05 May 2011, 09:23:40 am
Quote from: LouLou37 on 04 May 2011, 02:18:48 pm
Haaaaahaaaahaaa!!!! Obvious copy and paste job, but someone sounds like a fantasist with a little bit too much time on his hands!

Asphyxiation by 'face-sitting' is a very common fantasy for men. And LOL about the hygiene part! Yes, no problem, I'll smother you with my crotch which is potentially dangerous but I'll keep my clothes on so you don't catch anything.

I hope he realises there are more germs in your mouth then there are in your bum!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 05 May 2011, 04:34:32 pm
I meant fantasist by the huge drawn-out 'true story' of the female friend etc blah blah. Bet he was masturbating just writing that lol !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 05 May 2011, 05:56:46 pm
my favourite phone call for today:

'hello I'd like to book a session with you, it's something I've done before. I want to be fed live insects.....oh but I will provide the insects.'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 06 May 2011, 02:06:25 am
Quote from: sweet jane on 05 May 2011, 05:56:46 pm
my favourite phone call for today:

'hello I'd like to book a session with you, it's something I've done before. I want to be fed live insects.....oh but I will provide the insects.'
WTF?  Dear God...what is it with these guys! Thought I'd heard it all!

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ellie_e on 06 May 2011, 07:58:46 pm
I got a great one today...I knew it was bull from the start but wanted to amuse myself...

the guy goes on about how he wants to bring his wife, what he wants to do to me, etc. etc.  I just say 'yeah', 'yeah...sure, sure'

Starts getting more ridiculous, like him asking me if I can wear tights and can they can rip them off...oh and can I wear my panties for 2 days before the appointment?

Then he comes out with 'oh, also I have a daughter, can I bring her too?'

Me: 'how old is your daughter?'
Him: '....uh... well,...'
Me: 'sure, I'm cool with it, I'll just get the police there before the appointment because incest is illegal you sick f*ck!'

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ana30 on 06 May 2011, 08:59:13 pm
Quote
Me: 'how old is your daughter?'
Him: '....uh... well,...'
Me: 'sure, I'm cool with it, I'll just get the police there before the appointment because incest is illegal you sick f*ck!'


Sounds that's the reaction he wanted to get from you. Obviously the guy is into being humilliated (sniffing used panties etc..) and you pretty much gave him what he wanted which is a freebie sex phone domination. He must have loved it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ellie_e on 06 May 2011, 09:52:24 pm
Quote from: Ana30 on 06 May 2011, 08:59:13 pm
Quote
Me: 'how old is your daughter?'
Him: '....uh... well,...'
Me: 'sure, I'm cool with it, I'll just get the police there before the appointment because incest is illegal you sick f*ck!'


Sounds that's the reaction he wanted to get from you. Obviously the guy is into being humilliated (sniffing used panties etc..) and you pretty much gave him what he wanted which is a freebie sex phone domination. He must have loved it.

[/quote

naah I don't think so, he kept asking for domination on me and I hardly said a word the entire conversation!  He just wanted to toss off with someone on the other end of the phone  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Iman on 11 May 2011, 07:07:27 pm
Is there something in the water in Bristol? There's a very strange man on AW wanting to be filmed drinking spunk from used condoms, and there's been 12 bids. WTF?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sara1980 on 11 May 2011, 09:22:09 pm

' I can only see your free 1 on aw will you change them to free pics for Like 30seconds then put them back to private please hun x'  :o

My reply..... 'Of course! Would you like to call round now for a free two hour booking?'

Sweet Lord lol! Don't usually answer random texts but he's funny!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 11 May 2011, 09:32:40 pm
Dont you just hate that ones that start normal, you're fairly confidence its going ahead what could possibly go wrong?!?

Had a guy phone at the weekend and about a possible booking wednesday. Wednesday comes and he texts to see im still available, great that almost never happens lol So we exchange a a few texts over the morning, the usuall, whats the latest you work? how much is 2 hours? etc Then from out of no where:

"can you bring dom stuff"
"can you get me drugs"
"can we do watersports and caning seeing as its just our first meet?" (i dont do watersports!)

It was going so well, told him too bugger off after that!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 12 May 2011, 11:36:12 am
The one that had me laughing for ages was when I was staying in a hotel to offer late night sessions.

Phone Rings

Me: Hello, Jessi speaking.
Him: Where are you?
Me: I'm in a hotel in Newcastle
Him: But where?
Me: Near the train station.
Him: I'm in the casino
Me: ...ok?
Him: Can I see you for half an hour? I've got ?40!
Me: My rate is ?50 for 30mins, but I do a 15min quickie for ?25, I'll be available in an hour and 15mins
Him: What? Can I not come now?
Me: *Well you could but that may put the guy who booked in advance off a little bit...*
Him: I think I'll leave it for now then, I'll text you!
Me: *Can't wait!*

* denotes sarcasm

Poor boy! It probably took all his nerve to call me after his "big win" at the casino lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kimba on 12 May 2011, 03:48:10 pm
Browsing my junk mail I came across this little gem;

Hi I was wondering if I could show you a good time on my school field and how much it would cost please.

Would this be DURING  his school day I wonder or at hometime?  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 13 May 2011, 05:21:43 pm
I got a text today with just the word "sex"...

Not sure if I was supposed to think he's strong silent type and give him a free tumble, or faint from shock!

"Sex?!?! Moi? certainly not!"

lol men are silly

XxX
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 13 May 2011, 06:52:50 pm
"Hi I saw your ad...." {interrupted}

Hi Michael.
You visited me last sept. and refused to pay, wanting a freebie
and asked me: "So, is it all about the money?"

"Thank you for giving you the opportunity, again, confirm that, yes it is all about the money
  and that my new phone has call-blocker,
  to which your sorry ass has just been added"   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 13 May 2011, 07:04:40 pm
Text:
"See you soon?"
Not a lot to go on!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 13 May 2011, 07:25:28 pm
From ym free chat box.. I have so much sometimes lol

musicman1111: hy sexy were 3 bi guys with huge coks lover book u for long booking were all over 10 inches
IluvJem: uh huh
musicman1111: how long and wht u do for 6 grand with 3 ov us
IluvJem: I would buy myself a unicorn and go live on a island with talking turtles
musicman1111: u u p 4 it
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 13 May 2011, 08:01:44 pm
"I would buy myself a unicorn and go live on a island with talking turtles"

pmsl!!!!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 14 May 2011, 01:43:57 pm
Just had a guy asking for an out call to a hotel from 9pm tonight, alls going well until

Him: or you could stay the night?
Me: sure thats no problem, it's ?600 for an overnight so you're actually getting a better rate
Him: wait a second, I wasn't going to pay you for the rest of the night, just the first hour! I was offering you a bed for the night!
Me: what makes you think I don't have a bed for the night?
Him: well... because... you know *stutter* *mumble*
Me: you know I'm local, so I don't have miles to travel, so you think I'm going to fall all over myself to spend the night in the luxury of a Premier Inn?

Funnily enough we've agreed not to see each other...

XxX
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Iman on 14 May 2011, 02:03:30 pm
Received about half an hour ago on AW

"Hi Amber is there a contact number to call to make a booking?
Thanks
Andy"

Amber? Who she?
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 14 May 2011, 04:34:33 pm
My standard text to a missed call:

"Hi,  I missed your call
Please phone me when you can"

--"Are you Paris?"

"Learn to read, dumb-ass"

--"Harsh"

"Yes but cuttingly true"


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 14 May 2011, 06:11:55 pm
Email received this morning "hi there, I've seen your website and would to come and see you. Where abouts are you based and how much do you charge?"
Are you freeking kidding me??????
I only do outcalls ( which is stated on my website - with the text enlarged, underlined and embolden) and my rates are on my website!!
My reply " did you read my website??? All the information your requested is on there!"
* rolls eyes*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 14 May 2011, 09:30:08 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 14 May 2011, 06:11:55 pm
Email received this morning "hi there, I've seen your website and would to come and see you. Where abouts are you based and how much do you charge?"
Are you freeking kidding me??????
I only do outcalls ( which is stated on my website - with the text enlarged, underlined and embolden) and my rates are on my website!!
My reply " did you read my website??? All the information your requested is on there!"
* rolls eyes*

Oh yes! I think this one's a popular one! ha just last night I had a guy asking if there was parking at my place and I only do outcalls! guys are just so stupid that they cant see that not boring too read is starting on a negative! How they feel If we turned up to a booking arranged by email and ignored everything they'd asked for!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sugar on 14 May 2011, 09:52:11 pm
I recieved the email below from a weirdo a few days ago, didnt know whether he was serious or justa timewaster, so ignored it   ;D

   
Hi *************

Your website is amazing.I will be in London next week and wd love a session with you maybe 2hrs. For you to dominate me, especially sit on me, including sit on my face, smother me and use my body as a couch to relax on while you make me worship yr body on top of me.

What do you think?


I am looking for an IEbony Goddess to own me in London.


If you like you can invite friends over and have a party on top of me.Or even a boyfriend you can fuck  on top of my face...anything you wd do on a sofa or bed you can do on top of me.


What do you think?


David
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LeticiaMorgan on 15 May 2011, 10:01:31 am
An email received last night at 11:50pm:

"Hi, can you come visit me tonight?"

*rolls eyes*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweetshop_Girl on 15 May 2011, 02:21:50 pm
Mid day today

"hiya"


Yawn!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 15 May 2011, 03:17:01 pm
"Hello I've seen your ad
I would very much like to see you tonight say 8 or 9pm"
I politely declined.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 19 May 2011, 09:50:22 pm
Usually I just shrug and move on when faced with Timewasters, but for some reason this one really pissed me off.

This guy is notorious in my area for emailing new escorts on AW literally within hours of their profile first appearing (he must use the feature which alerts them to new profiles). He has emailed me within a few hours of all 4 profiles I have had over the years  previous to the one I have now, and a good few ladies I have met say the same thing. He does have a few glowing feedback though strangely.

Emails -

Him - "Where abouts in {small area} exactly are you located babes? Street addy?" {think he means address lol)
Me- "I am in {street name - not giving him any more info grr} x"
Him - "Are you not still in {other place I used to work}?"
> I think 'great so I have seen this tosser before without even knowing it!'
Me - "No I'm in {street} now. Would you like to make a booking? L"
Him - "No babes just not the same with no {services I have stopped offering a while ago}"

IF YOU KNOW FULL WELL YOU DON'T WANT TO BOOK, KNOW I DON'T OFFER WHAT YOU WANT, THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU EMAILING ME, AND MORE TO THE POINT - WHY DO YOU WANT MY BLOODY FULL ADDRESS?????!!! Something seems sinister about him, from the way he wanted the address with no intention of a booking and how he jumps on new girls as soon as they register. :-X >:(


Jesus. take deep breath. rant over x

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 19 May 2011, 10:08:04 pm
I hung up on a a timewaster today only for him too appear in my freechat box immediately after demanding too know why. Idiot was clearly, first; loooking for an incall (only do out) then second a 30 minute booking (my mins 1 hour). This is when I hung up (he also sounded like a total idiot)

and yet again only to be proved right as the tit was on my AW profile which would have told him all this and gave ME abuse in freechat with 3 different usernames (obviously each one was kicked out). Oooh i hate being right  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 19 May 2011, 10:24:04 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 19 May 2011, 09:50:22 pm
Jesus. take deep breath. rant over x

Don't worry, I find random demands for my full address from strangers really annoyingly weird and weirdly annoying, too! Had someone earlier today say pretty much, "Hi Emily! I have a question - could you text me your precise location, please, so I can see whether I can visit you today?" with literally no other conversation, no name given, nothing. So I said, "Er, no. You can see my general location and nearest tube station on my profile. There's no way I'm texting some stranger my address! Why would you ask that?" and, er, yes, won't be seeing him anytime soon.

I have one theory that guys who first start using Adultwork often can't tell by reading the profile (because they don't actually read the profiles, but that's another topic entirely!) whether they're calling a real independent or a fake-indie actual-brothel/agency profile, so they must often receive the full address upon request when they're actually contacting a brothel receptionist who's manning the phones for a bunch of not-entirely-indie girls in a flat that nobody really lives in. Of course all these details don't matter in the grand scheme, but I think it contributes to a lot of confusion on the average punter's part - learning to read between the lines on AW is a skill in itself; unfortunately, it's not learned til after learning to read the lines properly first so I suppose it takes them a while. :P

Don't think any of that describes your guy though, LouLou - he just sounds like a smug creepster who wanted you to know that he "knows who you are" and wanted you to know that he doesn't approve of your current services list, like that would ever have anything to do with your decision! Any smart person would check your profile and move on if it's not right for him; only sad losers will feel the need to throw a silly tantrum at you. So yes, cast him from your mind and move swiftly on to greener pastures(/nicer clients). ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 20 May 2011, 12:04:23 am
Wow, Friday - what an asshole!  :o

Well just checked my emails and said loser - AFTER being told earlier not to contact me unless wanting a booking (wouldn't see him anyway, it's just that saying "don't contact me ever again" outright can in my experience lead to stalkerish behaviour so was erring on side of caution, better to be "fully booked" all the time)

He just emailed "but I miss the {services not offered} babe"

Yes, breathe and repeat, breathe and repeat! Knew I should not have even responded at all to the first email. 99.9% of the time I just hang up/ignore known idiots. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 20 May 2011, 08:40:36 pm
Not a punter (well, not in this context), but he just sounds like such a knob.

Quote
Hi,

Hope you're well, I am writing to you regarding your work.  I've checked out your website, in particular your photos.
I'm a professional photographer, quite well known in the art circles and have decided to offer my services to yourself in regards to updating your photos.  I feel, my style, would lend very well to your image and help you gain a different class of client.  My work is very well known and because I have a few free months coming up, I am offering a very reduced service.  I know it sounds like a sales pitch but if you check out my work attached, I think you'll be able to see the vision and beauty.  It would elevate you above everyone else, gain you more work from a different cliental.

Let me know if you're interested.

Knob

http://www.knobbymcdickhead.co.uk

knob@knobbymcdickhead.co.uk

We don't remember days, we remember moments.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kayci on 20 May 2011, 09:31:32 pm
Here is one my friend got tonight...

hello miss ,would you be open to having a domestic slave boy of your own to pamper and spoil you and do everything you say ,will do all housework an cleaning for you aswell as help get you ready for clients ,please get back to me and i hope you can give me a trial miss x

My reply - U thought u was going to get a freebie!!! Bit sad really. I have people willing to pay for my time and my services including slaves!!! Does this ever work? Come on really!!! I will be sharing ur details for people to avoid.

Cant stand these.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kitty_of_Herts on 21 May 2011, 07:50:19 am
Quote
"Hello sweety, You are absolutly Goddess:-) I am a driving instructor and I would like to offer You a deal:-) If You have no driving licence, You can have one with me for free, just we can swap the service:-) I will offer You lessons for the time with You. Driving licence cost about 1000 GBP. So we can have in car sessions about 2-3 hours than after I will spend about 30 min with You :-))) It is up to You. I am very nice and friendly mate:-))) I came from western europe, but living in London about 8 years now:-)) If You wish I will send You my pictures:-))) If You have already driving licence please ignore this letter. Thank You for Your time. Have a nice day:-)))

Thomas"

Snort.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 21 May 2011, 08:19:28 pm
:-)))))))) lmffaoooooo that's so funny!!!!!! Driving license costs about ?1000 really where did that figure come from?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 21 May 2011, 08:26:39 pm
?30 per lesson x 30ish lessons.

The laughable bit is the exchange rate he's offering..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 22 May 2011, 03:42:13 am
If I looked as damned sexy as Kitty, I be wanting a airline pilot's license at least! What a tosser!

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kitty_of_Herts on 22 May 2011, 10:17:15 am
Quote from: xw5 on 21 May 2011, 08:26:39 pm
?30 per lesson x 30ish lessons.

The laughable bit is the exchange rate he's offering..

Maybe I should reply asking whether his car was included as part of the deal?
What a nimrod  ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Iman on 22 May 2011, 03:44:42 pm
*scratches head in puzzlement*

Does he mean he wants you to sit on his cock for two hours in exchange for a half hour driving lesson, or he'll give you a two hour driving lesson in exchange for a half hour nookie session? Either way he's a cheeky sod
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 22 May 2011, 10:36:59 pm
"Hi there as you can see from my email address that my name is philip am 27 years old and the reason am contacting you is that i would like to book you and a friend to come to my house on the 19th of july for a ffm for 3hrs as a birthday treat to myself . What am looking for during the 3 hrs is sexy secretary, foot worship and anal, i see you do not do anal yourself so your friend would need to be willing to take a fat cock. I would also like your friend to be blonde or red if possible? If this is can be arranged please get in touch and let me know how much."

Well at least he's read MY profile but what friends are these?!?!?  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 22 May 2011, 11:09:13 pm
Best friend??? Lmao
I love "your friend must be willing to take a fat cock" hahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 23 May 2011, 01:41:53 am
Idiot turned up today with a fraction of the agreed fee.
He shrugged.
So I asked him to leave, while taking ?20 for the trouble

This is new territory for me as I would normally just get them to leave
without taking any money, just to avoid a situation.
{In real life I'm much more reserved than my on-line persona}
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 23 May 2011, 04:18:45 am
Quote from: Friday on 22 May 2011, 10:36:59 pm
"Hi there as you can see from my email address that my name is philip am 27 years old and the reason am contacting you is that i would like to book you and a friend to come to my house on the 19th of july for a ffm for 3hrs as a birthday treat to myself . What am looking for during the 3 hrs is sexy secretary, foot worship and anal, i see you do not do anal yourself so your friend would need to be willing to take a fat cock. I would also like your friend to be blonde or red if possible? If this is can be arranged please get in touch and let me know how much."

Well at least he's read MY profile but what friends are these?!?!?  ???

That's  hilarious! Does he think you keep a selection of friends in a cupboard, like blow up dolls, that you can pick one out for just the occasion! Good grief! Why does he not just look for someone who is a blond or red head and does anal? What a weirdo. So did you say yes? I'm sure your dying for some pussy action on the fat cock...lmao!

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 23 May 2011, 11:43:22 am
Quote from: Dionne on 22 May 2011, 11:09:13 pm
Best friend??? Lmao
I love "your friend must be willing to take a fat cock" hahaha

There is something absolutely hilarious about that bit, yes. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kitty_of_Herts on 23 May 2011, 12:48:20 pm
Quote
Dear Kitty

I'm Karl, I'm 42 and told very attractive, I'm also very submissive and enjoy serving attractive and assertive ladies.
I'm a professional mobile car scuff and scratch repair technician and detailer from the Uxbridge area.
I have many years of experience Repairing car bumper scuffs, scratches and alloy wheel scuffs as well as intimate detailing of cars.
I have also served ladies as a domestic cleaner and odd job man.
As I have this desire to serve and be exploited by a lady such as yourself I would like to offer my services to you totally free of charge.

This offer is not too good to be true I would like to fully detail, valet repair and care for your car as regularly as you would like and all I ask for in return is to be treated as your servant. Strange but true!
As I do obviously need to earn a living too, I would like to make this offer to just 1 or 2 ladies who would like a regular free of charge service.
I'm totally mobile and can provide services at your home or business.
So if you think you could use me now or in the future please feel free to call me any time.

Mobile: *************

Best Regards

Karl x

Totally free of charge? In return for being my slave??
OMG, where do I sign up Karl?!?!

In case I didn't mention it in my last post here, I don't have a car and have no plans to get one in the immediate future. Maybe I could get him to come round mine once a week to tidy my bedroom instead? :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 23 May 2011, 01:43:46 pm
^^^^^^
fabulous!!!  :D ;D where do these guys come from? and why don't they stay there?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 23 May 2011, 06:43:59 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 23 May 2011, 01:43:46 pm
^^^^^^
fabulous!!!  :D ;D where do these guys come from? and why don't they stay there?

LMAO...I love that Jane!!!
They're all coming out the woodwork for Kitty...and all car related...too funny:-)

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kayci on 23 May 2011, 07:24:54 pm
One i just was emailed....! Observe the spelling and use of grammer.

'erm hiya there ,, erm dunno what to say really , i feel kinda a little low and upset at the mo to be honest ,, am real shy . also i am Looking FOR good private friends aswell,? also u really do sound so down to earth and sweet would really hope u get back for a chat >? x ohh and nice pics yr the best i've seenx and wud u at all be interested in being friends at sum stage with me aswell , as i am a nice genuine person also ?x and yr the ebst i've seen on this site hun and thats being so so true and honest >? be great to get to know u also as well as booking your time babes cuz i also know yr a human being and a friendly sounding one at that x :)x'

I said if you would like a booking then contact me to book, otherthan that NO thankyou (looking for a freebie).

Kayci X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 23 May 2011, 08:53:26 pm
Quote from: Coty on 23 May 2011, 04:18:45 am
Does he think you keep a selection of friends in a cupboard, like blow up dolls, that you can pick one out for just the occasion!

I get this alot on cams as if my partner is in a box ready to go when they ask or even another girl!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kitty_of_Herts on 23 May 2011, 10:25:55 pm
Quote from: Friday on 23 May 2011, 08:53:26 pm
Quote from: Coty on 23 May 2011, 04:18:45 am
Does he think you keep a selection of friends in a cupboard, like blow up dolls, that you can pick one out for just the occasion!

I get this alot on cams as if my partner is in a box ready to go when they ask or even another girl!  ::)

Whut? You lot don't keep a selection of young, nubile working girls trussed up in your closet, on constant readiness for occasions like the ones these absolutely delightful gents had in mind?
Wish I'd known sooner. I had to get rid of my WG partner collection a week ago; there wasn't enough room in there for the shoes ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 24 May 2011, 03:30:15 am
Quote from: Kayci on 23 May 2011, 07:24:54 pm
One i just was emailed....! Observe the spelling and use of grammer.

'erm hiya there ,, erm dunno what to say really , i feel kinda a little low and upset at the mo to be honest ,, am real shy . also i am Looking FOR good private friends aswell,? also u really do sound so down to earth and sweet would really hope u get back for a chat >? x ohh and nice pics yr the best i've seenx and wud u at all be interested in being friends at sum stage with me aswell , as i am a nice genuine person also ?x and yr the ebst i've seen on this site hun and thats being so so true and honest >? be great to get to know u also as well as booking your time babes cuz i also know yr a human being and a friendly sounding one at that x :)x'

I said if you would like a booking then contact me to book, otherthan that NO thankyou (looking for a freebie).

Kayci X

As it started I felt a bit sorry for him, by the end (using the word hun immediately had my back up!) I wanted to kick him between the legs! Why don't these guys join dating sites...plenty of women there for free!!! Grrrr

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kayci on 24 May 2011, 12:41:18 pm
Yep true and strikes me as a copy and paste job.   Also the way he keeps saying friends and private friend got my back-up maybe i am being mean? I told him if he would like to see me and be friends to make a booking X Kayci
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 24 May 2011, 01:01:33 pm
Quote from: Coty on 24 May 2011, 03:30:15 am
As it started I felt a bit sorry for him, by the end (using the word hun immediately had my back up!) I wanted to kick him between the legs! Why don't these guys join dating sites...plenty of women there for free!!! Grrrr

Yeah, it's tempting to go "Aww, you poor silly fool" but actually, I'm pretty sure they're 100% aware that they are looking on Adult*work* and therefore should be paying for the services they're after. Tis just a copy & paste bombardment in the hopes of finding someone unfortunate enough to fall for it and that's what makes me cross; certain people out there obviously get off on manipulating people more than they get off on actual consensual (paid for, if necessary) sex. They're not nice people! (Hence probably not having a great deal of luck on the dating sites, either...)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amanda on 25 May 2011, 03:18:20 pm
This little charmer is now saved as "Knobhead, Caithness". I will cherish our text conversation forever...

26/03 "Is this Amanda" I didn't bother answering.
28/03 "U not gettin back. What is your prices" Ditto
28/03 "When u back to caithness" Still nothing from me
01/04 "Is this amanda. When u next in caithness" and nada from me...
18/04  "Is this amanda x" I must have been feeling mellow, maybe it was the kiss that swayed me :)
Me: "Yes, this is Amanda"
Him: "When u next in caithness x"
Me: "I'm in Caithness now"
Him: "When u available x"
Me: "I'm available for an outcall this evening. That's all I've got this week"
Him: "Where could we meet up x"
Me: "At your home or hotel"
Him: "Are u busy x" I didn't answer that
Him: "Ok so do you drive. How much is 1 hour. Do u mind am only 20 x"
Me: "Yes, ?150, no" Getting bored now...
Him: "Could we meet in the dark so we aint seen x"
Me: "Do you mean you want me to arrive at your place in the dark or do you actually think I'm going to shag you in my car?"
Him: "In the car. Do u dress up x"
Me: "In the car? Seriously? I always dress to impress"
Him: "Yeah that's fine. So what uniforms u got and do u do anal x"
Me: "I don't do car meets, I don't do uniforms, I don't do anal and I don't do YOU!"
Him: "What why not. I want a meet 2 nit x"
Me: "I am not the girl you're looking for" Why am I still replying?
Him: "Well u are. I want an older woman for sex without my girlfriend finding out"
Him: "So do u want to or not" I thought we'd covered that?
28/04 "Are u in caithness 2moro nit"
03/05 When are u in caithness"

I love this guy! I want to marry him and have his babies!
*Flushes phone down the loo"

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kimba on 25 May 2011, 06:28:52 pm
Fabulous Amanda! ;D - And they say this is easy money??!

Got the following call at 10.30 this morning;

Him: What you up to?( sniffs loudly )
Me:    Do I know you?
Him:  You've been before. I'm in Oldham. ( more sniffing )
Me:    Ok..
Him:  Can you be here by 11? ( ditto ..)
Me:    No, it would be 12pm ( boring explanation needed of why such a delay is required, involving time and travel duration of 1 hour plus and the fact I am still in my PJ's reading the latest about Giggsy  :) ..
Him:  Ok. We'll call it ?100 yeh?
ME:    Er, no..
Him:  That's what I paid before
Me:     No, you did not.
Him: Yeh, I paid ?120 and you stayed for 45 minutes
Me:    That's different, I could stay for 30 minutes for ?100 ?
Him:  ?80 for 30 minutes then ( heavy sniffing now, am getting concerned )
Me:    Look, you don't sound very well..?
Him:  Just got up 'ant a'? ..
Me:    Well, I won't come to be honest. I don't haggle over my rate and I don't need to make a 2 hour trip for ?80 as I am busy enough thanks.
Him: YOU F*****G OLD S**G!!! YOU'RE JUST A F*****G SCUZZY OLD TART!!! DIRTY F******G  WH*RE!!

Hmm, wonder if I made the right decision there? Missing him already! ;D
Do you think he kisses his girlfriend with that mouth?? :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 25 May 2011, 07:45:02 pm
Quote from: kimba on 25 May 2011, 06:28:52 pm
Him: YOU F*****G OLD S**G!!! YOU'RE JUST A F*****G SCUZZY OLD TART!!! DIRTY F******G  WH*RE!!

Oh my god, seriously? :-X I literally cannot imagine what causes thoughts like that to even appear in someone's brain, let alone then be allowed to spew out of their stupid gob. Ugh! Perhaps he was born in a barn and never found his way out of it til today.

Anyway, if he was doing drugs (the sniffing?) at 10.30 in the morning then his brain is probably going to fall out of his nose soon and it won't help that it's obviously small and under-developed. What an absolute horror of a person.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 26 May 2011, 10:40:21 am
Got this email this morning and I couldn't resist sharing :)


Hi there, my name is (seriously deluded) and I?m a 19 year old single guy living in ( misguided hope) at the moment. I came across you on (A sight that you really shouldn't be looking up at Uni, you naughty boy) because I'm looking to book a session with an escort.

 You may find this a bit strange but let me explain my situation etc.

I have had a few sexual experiences so far. They have been with girls my own age and level of competence and to be honest they haven?t been the best.

I'm not the most outgoing guy so when I hook up with a girl I'd like to have decent skills. My skills at the moment aren't great.
I'm looking to find a woman with more experience (how to say that without sounding insulting?) to help me learn how to get the best out of what I've got. You being an escort are probably one of the more experienced people around.

Really, I just want to learn how to pleasure a woman completely. And what better way than to learn from someone as beautiful as yourself. I feel that I will enjoy sex a whole lot more if the girl enjoys, or at least acts like they are enjoying my efforts. I would like to spend some time with you for some "tuition"; lets say.  I want to be taught how to improve.

 I do however have a particularly large problem with booking escorts. I am a student at the moment and I hope you can appreciate I don't have the kind of money your rate requires to just spend on an escort. I don't work at the moment either. I was hoping my proposition would interest you enough so I might we might be able to come to some sort of arrangement regarding cost. I would rather pay for it in some other way if that?s possible. I'm sorry that sounds so cheeky.

Could you let me know either way. I've never asked anyone this before and I know the answer will be a no, but thought I'd try my luck anyway. It?s basically a plea for help.

Yours in anticipation

O x

So what do you think ladies and gents, should I take him up on his heartwarming 'plea for help'. Because he doesn't mind if I am only pretending to enjoy it as long as I am happy to teach him the ways of lovemaking for no money ;D After all he hasn't got the sort of cash to 'just' give to a woman like me!

And he's only 19! can you imagine what he is going to be like by 29 if he continues down that path of thought? :o It fair chills you to the bone it does.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LeticiaMorgan on 26 May 2011, 11:00:15 am
Quote from: Simone on 26 May 2011, 10:40:21 am

I would rather pay for it in some other way if that?s possible. .

He would rather - makes him sound like he has an option between paying for it or something else.

Cheeky bugger. Send him packing! Tell him if he's a good boy, studies hard and gets a well-paying job, maybe one day he can aspire to book an escort and actually pay for it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 26 May 2011, 12:46:09 pm
Tell him he can work for you too earn the money (which he has to do first of course) and you know loads of guys looking for young fresh meat to play with so he can earn you money and increase his experience at the same time!! lol  ;D

Bargain if you ask me  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 26 May 2011, 12:58:32 pm
Lmao Friday!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sammy s on 26 May 2011, 03:01:36 pm
Got this email earlier:

Hello
I'm looking to offer you a complimentary full body  massage which I can guarantee will relax you very much. I am training in the art of massage at the moment and need to find people to practice on, and who better than an escort who is comfortable with being naked already?
The booking would consist of massage to the back, shoulders, neck, head, legs, buttocks and breasts. You would, of course, need to be fully nude and to make you feel more comfortable I would be nude too.
This service is strictly non sexual and is purely just a massage. I can also help with an assisted shower to give you a full body scrub afterwards to exfoliate the skin.
I will visit you in your own home and provide the massage couch, oils and scrub. The booking will take 2 hours.
Many Thanks



ERRRR HELLO?! A NON SEXUAL SERVICE? Honestly, this man must take us all for fools.
Clearly an attempt for someone to live out their fantasy and get to touch a naked woman for 2 hours. If he's going to be naked too then surely he's going to get an erection?! Why the hell would he need to be naked? Or me for that matter. Whenever I have had a professional full body massage I have always kept my pants on and been covered up with towels. He's then talking about getting into the shower with me?
I would put money on the fact that this man is a pervy, old troll hoping to come across a niave young woman to satisfy his fantasy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 26 May 2011, 03:52:38 pm
Quote from: sammy s on 26 May 2011, 03:01:36 pm
I would put money on the fact that this man is a pervy, old troll hoping to come across a niave young woman to satisfy his fantasy.

He's almost sad in his transparency, isn't he? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 26 May 2011, 04:02:40 pm
That one really is vile, though - I know most of them are just funny or stupid but that was so sleazy it actually made my skin crawl, and the thought that somebody might actually fall for it is even worse. And to think they walk among us  ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: scottishmilf on 26 May 2011, 04:12:43 pm
I dont normally reply to these types of emails but i couldnt help it, for some reason it annoyed me
Quote
hi there,

my name is "X", i live in glasgow alone i got my own place..

you are looking amazing in ya photos,

anytime anyday you like 2 come to glasgow you can stay in my place i will treat you so good, you can stay as long you like,, just thinkin come to my place is like a holiday

i am a very looking guy, so handsome, i got a 10inc cock very hard i can fuck all night some ladies run away some cant handle it i will go easy on you with easy i will treat u like a queen

call me on 0123456789


Quote
If you are not wanting to make a booking then I am ok as I have friends who also live Glasgow, and they are kind enough to let me stay with them for free and without having to sleep with them

Thanks anyway,

Quote
u can stay with me anytime u dnt av 2 sleep over me ok


urgh men. sometimes they are just so stupid. gotta love his use of grammar and spelling LOL
BLOCKED.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 26 May 2011, 08:06:02 pm
Hi there,

we are a couple looking for new friendships. If you are interested in knowing more please send us an email.

Gabby & Ben

I have no idea?!  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 26 May 2011, 11:00:27 pm
Must be my night!  :o

Hello
I saw your profile today and it was so good to me.u know that i am interested to be a friend first.i also believe that coming to you will be a probability of meeting that very love that has been lacking in my entire life. please i will like you to contact me direct to my e-mail address,
 i dont know the posebility of remaing in forum for long time,i will give you a full introduction of my self with my pictures ok. i will be waiting for your mail to my e-mail adsdress, as you know
there is no age,race,colour n religion bar when it comes to true love,
cares *some lonely wierdo*.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 27 May 2011, 04:10:02 pm
Quote from: Friday on 26 May 2011, 11:00:27 pm
Must be my night!  :o

Hello
I saw your profile today and it was so good to me.u know that i am interested to be a friend first.i also believe that coming to you will be a probability of meeting that very love that has been lacking in my entire life. please i will like you to contact me direct to my e-mail address,
 i dont know the posebility of remaing in forum for long time,i will give you a full introduction of my self with my pictures ok. i will be waiting for your mail to my e-mail adsdress, as you know
there is no age,race,colour n religion bar when it comes to true love,
cares *some lonely wierdo*.

Awesome! Sounds like my kinda guy! Haha!  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sara1980 on 27 May 2011, 05:20:23 pm

This just in  ::)

Cock - R u working.do you kiss.anal?where do i come?how much
Me     - Where did you get my number?
Cock - Off the net.that adultwork
Me     - All of the information you have asked for is on there, have a look and call me if interested in booking.
Cock - Ok.how much?
Ignored.....
Cock - How much?
Me - All of the information you have asked for is on there, have a look and call me if interested in booking. (Resent)
Cock - where do i come?
Ignored
Cock - Whats your website again-

Sweet Lord! How the fook do these people manage to function on a daily basis?! I mean, come on.... It's not rocket science is it?? I don't even have a website so the utter imbecile can't even got that right. Twat!!

And breath...... lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 27 May 2011, 06:51:29 pm
An irresistable offer...

"Please could I spend a day pampering you between clients (i will sit in the bathroom when you are entertaining) I'd love to prepare you first thing in the morning, and be there to amuse and clean you between clients. I wont charge you for this service"

Bet you're all jealous of me now...?
No? Lol

Ruby xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 27 May 2011, 09:10:50 pm
^^^
thanks Ruby, that made me laugh.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 28 May 2011, 12:39:47 am
This seems like a suitable place too vent! I've had 2 of my "ignores" harassing my phone! One I text this morning to take a hint and stop texting me, all went quiet, i thought yipee, now all night again!

The other has been harassing me for a booking, I've ignored all messages and phone calls and he texts me his full address!! I haven't responded too anything and he sends his full address! nutter! Oooh the things I could do with it lol the mind ponders  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 28 May 2011, 12:23:04 pm
Hi Friday
the best thing I ever did was get an App for my phone that has a blacklist function (I use a Blackberry and its called iBlocker-Pro) I someone annoys me I click one button and it Blacklists them. After that every call is picked up and immediately dropped so they cant leave a message, and every text is replied to with a message telling them their Text has 'not reached the recipient' Works like a dream, and saves me from sooooo much stress!
Ruby xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 28 May 2011, 01:07:23 pm
Quote from: Rooby on 28 May 2011, 12:23:04 pm
Hi Friday
the best thing I ever did was get an App for my phone that has a blacklist function (I use a Blackberry and its called iBlocker-Pro) I someone annoys me I click one button and it Blacklists them. After that every call is picked up and immediately dropped so they cant leave a message, and every text is replied to with a message telling them their Text has 'not reached the recipient' Works like a dream, and saves me from sooooo much stress!
Ruby xx

yeah this is my phone...  ;D

(http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q205/batuchka/nokia-2730-classic-photo.jpg)

Im the only person who has gone backwards with technology lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: WelshieGirly on 01 June 2011, 06:44:58 pm
Hi,

New to the site but I have been an escort for about 6 years now.

I totally enjoyed reading this thread and laughed sooo much!

Just had to add my todays favorite -

Idiot (Calling me on the number found on my AW page) - Hi can i have a dom session for tomorrow please?

Me - Sure but you will need to send me a booking request through AdultWork for advanced bookings.

Idiot- Ah, i cant cos i dont have an email address?

Me - Make one?

Idiot - Cant, I dont know how to work a computer... (wtf ?!)

Me - But you found me online?

Idiot - Yeah, so can i have a booking?

Me - *click*

...Born yesterday? no i wasnt!

Welshie x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kitty_of_Herts on 01 June 2011, 08:54:39 pm
I work in both Hertfordshire and London. I state rather obviously that the prices listed in my profile are for outside of London only. So I got this guy asking if I could do an early morning booking tomorrow:
   
Quote
R: It sounds rather tempting - can you confirm how much it would be as you say your london rates would be higher?

Moi:  Yes indeed :)

It's ?180 so only ?20 more. Is that ok? K xxx

R:    
You know what I dont want to be miserly - but I think I will leave it I dont really want to pay more than ?160.

sorry

If you don't want to pay more than ?160 why did you even ask in the first place? What did you expect me to say? "?160 and a packet of cheese and onion crisps for London please?"

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 01 June 2011, 09:13:05 pm
Quote from: Kitty_of_Herts on 01 June 2011, 08:54:39 pm
R:    
You know what I dont want to be miserly - but I think I will leave it I dont really want to pay more than ?160.

sorry

Lol. His sad little "sorry" at the end is especially amusing - I bet he did think you were going to say ?162 for London. ;D

It's funny the sort of consumer "logic" (AKA crazypants brain functions-or-lack-of) that exists even within our industry. If you see one price for something and then a higher price for the same thing, most people will put a ridiculous amount of effort into not having to pay the higher price - even if it's a CD available online for ?11 or in a shop somewhere miles away for ?9, someone will always end up paying ?5 in petrol/train fare to go and buy the cheaper one!

Because of this, I would personally never have two different rates showing at the same time - it's not worth the "?10 extra? OMG! That is an IMPOSSIBLY higher amount!!1!" sort of nonsense from people. But then, I am the sort of person who'd pay more (or risk earning less) to avoid having to put tons of effort into dealing with annoying stuff. :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 01 June 2011, 09:39:57 pm
Quote from: WelshieGirly on 01 June 2011, 06:44:58 pm
Idiot - Cant, I don't know how to work a computer... (wtf ?!)

When i insisted someone book me through AW his excuse was he couldn't because he was illiterate  ::)

I know you shouldn't laugh but I always do, has anyone seen the advert for the help group for adults at the cinema during the trailers. It goes: "if you have trouble will reading, writing and numbers, call the number below!" ha ha advert fail!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kitty_of_Herts on 01 June 2011, 10:58:20 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 01 June 2011, 09:13:05 pm
Because of this, I would personally never have two different rates showing at the same time - it's not worth the "?10 extra? OMG! That is an IMPOSSIBLY higher amount!!1!" sort of nonsense from people. But then, I am the sort of person who'd pay more (or risk earning less) to avoid having to put tons of effort into dealing with annoying stuff. :P

Maybe I should've just given him the number to my agency in London.

"They... told me... *cough* *splutter* it was an extra *cough COUGH SPLUTTER* FORTY POUNDS! THAT IS FORTY OVER WHAT IS WAS PREPARED TO PAY. *Falls on floor* *Has a heart attack*"

Next time haha.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 04 June 2011, 07:49:14 pm
This really should be timewasters section but technically its me refusng to go!

I think I have the winner in this thread! I honestly do not believe it!!!!

Guy been texting just before the weekend, texts this morning for an appointment this evening at 10:30pm.

Which is fine, experience tells me most appointments booked in advance will cancel. Someone else asks for an appointment that will clash, I double check its still on, it is, happy days.

Texts to ask if i can come earlier, sure I said, 8pm? good stuff. I get ready and im running about 20/30 minutes early so I text and see if thats okay and the conversation goes like this:

Me "I'm good to go now so could be early if thats ok?"
Wierdo "Sure, im using my mums house so we'll be in my brothers room"
Me "It is just you in though yeah?"
Wierdo "She's in but I'll take you straight to the room, she doesnt intrude"
Me "No chance!!!"
Sick Wierdo "It's only my mum thats in, she wont be in for long"

WTF!?!?!?!? When he could have had me arrive after she left!

Dont invite whores round to your mums house while she's still in!!!!!!!!!!  :o

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 05 June 2011, 12:13:22 am
Got to love the weekends, all the real freaks come out. this is a long one, i didnt read the "story first" but a bit caught my eye then i couldnt help it, its the most ridiculous awfull thing ever and absolutely hilarious!!! Know doubt it will be copied and pasted about tonight. (and no he's never had a show from me but im glad im his favourite  ;D ) (mods i also apologise it really is very long! lol  :o )

hi!bb how are you doing?
you are my "most"favorite performer on the site.you are my NO.1 dream girl.
you not only have wonderful body,but i can also see you are a intelligent woman through your beautiful eyes.

I have a an incredible fantasy role-play that i wanna u to perform.bb

In this one, I will be killed by you first, my sexy professional killer. and before I die i will set up a automative weapon system to shoot you to death.Love your show so much!

Could u imagine a role play like this?Assume you are a professional killer, one of the best, who has killed thousands of men by using ur perfect body,never failed before.When u killing a man,u usually fuck him first,ur favourite position is FUCK ON TOP

because u always want to control the men.When they enjoyed the most,u always shoot them 44 hot leads bullets inside their body.Blood comes out everywhere,it makes u excited,and u continue to shoot and fuck them.

Finally,u put last bullet inside their mouth to finish their life. This is u, a great sexy unstoppable professional killer!

Today,u got an order,I am ur target.Unfortunately,I am professional killer,too.But, u did not notice that.And I am responsible to get rid of u because u killed one of top agency in my company.

Like usual,we meet in a hotel room,u take off ur clothes,take out ur huge tits,message body oils all over ur tits,looks real something.And like others,I am attracted by ur beautiful body.

Then u take out my cock,and suck on it.It seems like a delicious meal that you've been ever seen before. u enjoyed very much on sucking men's dicks,but u don't know it's ur last one.

U ride on my body,and start fuck me on the top,it's ur favourite position.But u can't imagine it's the last fuck in ur life.U are quick, no interaction, just put my dick into ur wet pussy and fucking.

Ur lovely tits are nice to move when u fucking on the top.You enjoyed fucking on my big cock,and u keep fucking me real fast last 44 minutes,and ur oiled tits moving really fast.

Then my pay time is coming.u get ur machine gun from ur back,you start to shoot me,thousands of bullets going through my body,and i am totally fucked up.

then you saying:"I'm a professional killer, one of the best, who has killed thousands of men by using my perfect body,never failed before.When I am killing a man,I usually fuck them first,and my favourite position is FUCK ON TOP

saying:"because I always want to control the men.When they enjoyed the most,I always shoot them 44 hot leads bullets inside their body.Blood comes out everywhere,it makes me excited,and I continue to shoot and fuck them."

you saying:"Finally,I put last bullet inside their mouth to finish their life. This is me, a great sexy unstoppable professional killer!"

Then,you take out your long sword,put it in my stomach so many times,you look very wild when you killing me.

As a professional killer, one last idea before I die is to get rid of you.And I prepared a automatic weapon system in the room. When push a button on my remote control,then 100 machine guns will come out.

at that time thousands of machine guns goes out from the ground.and you right tit gets a first shot,u are surprised to looked at me."how did you do that?"

A bullet hole is on ur huge tit,u feel so much painful,because it's ur first time to be shot.Then u aren't be a loser, the machine gun is still on ur hand, u still wanna fight back.

you saying:"it doesn't matter I got shot, but I will kill you first!motherfucker!"

Then it's time for me to say goodbye, you put your machine-gun into my mouth,and shoot lots of bullets into my mouth,and I am facking dead.

you are laughing loudly, saying:"fuck,there are so many machine-guns surrounding me, seems like my fight in my life.what a sad story, killed target,but end up killing by his weapons after he died."

you start to talk dirty, saying:"I don't care I will be killed later because I have killed you first.Lets shoot me hard enough because I am enjoy the feeling that bullets going through my sexy body"and you start laughing.

But at that time,ur tits get another 8 bloody holes,ur machine gun fall on the ground.u touched ur huge tits,and looked at them.u saying:"I can't believe I've been shot by couple of hot lead bullets."

U are smiling, u saying:"i know time is up.But I still don't wanna be a loser,even if I don't have a gun,I still got my pussy.I wanna fuck your dead cock to death.let do my last sex in my life"

U start to fuck me on top very quick,u saying:" look at my bloody tits with lots of bullets holes on them,blood comes out everywhere.you are a son of bitch fucking machines to shoot me so many bullets and I feel so much pain."

Then I pick up ur machine gun on the ground. Before shooting back, u saying:" I usually shoot people 44 bullets in their month. and I wanna use the same way to kill myself by using my own gun."

After that U are laughing,and keep fucking on the top.Then U are shot by 44 bullets.Ur body is shaking, bullets come to u all over ur tits, niples,blood everwhere.Then,U are fucked up.

U saying:"I am almost a dead gril,but I am still strong enough to handle bullets",U ride on the top again to fuck again,but very slow.U look at ur bloody tits and tell the machines to shoot on niples.Then Ur nipples get another several shots.

Then, you saying that "I had already thought I will end up like that,I have killed 444 people as a great killer. Once I killed a person, I would imagine I'll end up like them someday. Now, it's my time."

You saying:"fucking weapon! shoot 444 bullets on my huge tits, I want the number of bullets holes on my body equal to the number of people I killed, because I feel like I owe 444 bullets to the people that I killed."

saying:"one bullet per life. Fair enough. machines please agreed, loaded 444 hot lead bullets in it.I looked sexy with lots of bloody holes on my lovely body,and it will be even more sexy laster"

Before It start shooting you, you saying: "you really should record this,fucking weapons.let people see how I get punished, the greatest professional killer get shot by thousands of bullets. let people see how bad i've been fucked up.hahahaha This is what I deserved."

You saying:" let you go out and handle bullets!" The shooting starts, lots lots lots lots of bullets comes from everywhere,and concentrait on ur big sexy bloody tits. You lost ur control, bloods goes out everywhere,you are shaking badly through entire 4 minutes.

It can tell how painful it is from ur face, but u are still strong enough to handle lots of bullets like that.Unbelievable.

you looked at ur huge bloody tits with full of bullets holes,which looks even more sexy.u said: "my tits look good,don't they? Can you dead motherfuck satisfy my last wish in my life?"

You said you wanna suck my dead cock until it cum all over ur tits.maybe I agreed because I am already dead.u put my cock into ur mouth.And you start to suck it very hard,you put my cock deep into ur throat,and you look so enjoyed.this is ur specialty.

After 14 minutes, you put my dead cock between ur tits.you squeeze ur tits to tight my cock in the middle,bloods goes out everywhere from bullets holes,it seems like thousands of bullets went through ur tits.

you saying:"It's like a blood stream on my huge tits,make my dead cock excited. Unbelievable dead cock,isn't it?" Finally,it cum all over ur tits,mix with oil,blood on ur tits which full of bullets holes.

you looks satisfied and you saying:" you are a loser in our competitions, because I killed you first." you are so happy that laughed out so loud,even if there are thousands of hot lead bullets went through ur body.

At last,you saying:" I owe u a life which I deserve another 44 hot leads bullets on my nipples,tits and stomach b/c you were killed by me in cold blood."

you saying:" I wanna feel the hot leads bullets went through my body one last time,and I enjoyed that sort of pain all over my tits,nipples which are the weapons let me be one of the best killers."

Then you saying:" I like the feeling that is going to be destroyed because I am a bad girl who deserved all of this."you start to touch ur tits,and use ur hand to touch the bullets holes.

you saying:"It is painful to let me be excited to wait for my final punishment."You put a piece of cum into ur mouth,it full of oils,blood and cum.

Then,You saying:" your cum tastes freaking bad." You give a middle finger telling the machine-guns start shooting.You saying:"I wanna let the machine-guns shoot me as bad as possible.

you extend ur arms,and the machine-guns start shooting at you.Cold leads bullets went through ur tits,nipples,stomach.Blood comes out everywhere,even on ur face.you look very painful!

You are scramming while you are blasting by 44 hot leads bullets.After 30 bullets went through ur fucking tits,you let the machines stop.there are another 30 bloody holes appears on ur tits.

You look at ur tits,and saying: "there is not enough space for bullets on my fucking nipples.Don't you fucking machines like them,then shoot on the fucking nipples!"

At that moment,you have gone crazy.You saying:" I wanna touch the feeling when bullets went though my nipple,the most sensitive place on my body."

Then machine-guns start shoot the rest of 14 bullets on ur nipples.It was sad,you were screaming,and it can tell that the last 14 bullets are the most painful ones.They went right though ur nipples.

you saying:"my nipples are becoming hard,and from one big hard nipple being 7 pieces.7 bullets for each nipple. Blood goes out everywhere",you are screaming"hahahaha"The machine gun has used up.

you saying:"Thousands of bullets have placed on my body.And I am still alive. I wanna be killed by myself. A great killer killed by herself, what a sad story!"

you saying:"I imagined many times, I were always willing to die like a great japanese warrior,to be stabbed by a long japenese sward right through the stomach.and then shot by a machine gun in the mouth"

you saying:"just like what I did to others, to end my own life. And my last word before I die is I really enjoy being a professional killer, I enjoy every single moment in killing people,and I enjoy every single bullets going through their body."

You saying:"I love my body,see my beautiful face and big eyes.see my huge tits and breast.I love them all.But life is fair,it let me killed by a dead man's weapon. and let one of the great professional killer killed by herself.and shot by thousands of bullets."

You saying:"look at my tits, they are my weapons to kill men,but now they are full of cold lead bullets holes and so bloody, destroyed by thousand of bullets."

you saying:"laster the most beautiful face,biggest tits and most wild killer will die in the blood y pools.I think it's time to say goodbye!"

then you end up to slowly put a long bloody japanese sward right though your stomach.at last you shoot 44 bullets into your mouth to finish your life"you keep opening ur eyes after U are dead.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 05 June 2011, 01:55:16 am
Okay okay! 11 minutes before im signing off! and thank goodness too im a magnet for them tonight!  :o

And thought the above was my wierdest email ever! Oh no this, this for sure is thee strangest email I have ever recieved!  ???


*Some bloke* *some glasgow address*, DESTRYED My life, he broke my confidence and self esteram when i was 17/18, i'm ages 30 now (his profile says 40! lol), and *some bloke* Still endevours to Bully me, he's bulied me for over 13 years, i need help to stop him from Destroying my life, i'm being ABUSED. My name is *oddball*.

Can u help me babes, this guy has made my life an entire Missery, a duno what i'm going to do?

My Body is fireing onImpulse and *some bloke's* going to attemped to put me under the Knife, kin ye help'z out? names *oddball* am sittin here pure distraught dol
His Dads name is *some blokes dad, His Brothers name is *some blokes brother*, *some bloke's) gony put mer under the knife, his Dad is crazey aswell.

In Jesus name.

Think you could get him sorted for me?

 ??? ??? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 05 June 2011, 04:39:16 am
Friday I lost the will to live half way through the first one and skipped to the end!!! What a deranged man. Good God, they walk among us and breed!

The second one???WTF?

How do you attract such nutters?

I sometimes feel left out not getting these weird emails but now I'm pretty glad I don't! LMAO

Hope you don't have nightmares tonight!

Love Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 05 June 2011, 10:42:03 am
The second one is sad but the first one, OMG. I kept reading because it kept making me laugh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 05 June 2011, 11:19:33 am
Yeah, that second one's almost more disturbing - is it random? Do you know any of the people mentioned? How weird.

The first one - jeebus! "FUCK ON TOP" is going to be a phrase I try to randomly insert into every conversation I have this week. I imagine it has to be yelled in a state of complete overexcitement as though, for instance, you'd just written a really pointlessly long fantasy out so that you could spam it to a bunch of hookers. Perhaps with a little hop/jig when yelling it, too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 05 June 2011, 12:16:06 pm
Yup! That first one... Isnt that a film already? If not live action, then its got to be a Manga cartoon from the late 90's... Hmm...

Well my jealousy phase is over! I finally got a loser with a loser email! Doesnt quite rank as high as most that i've read so far on here... But its a good start!

"hello darling

i have a proposal for you


i live in a 2BR very spacious clean and modern flat in london sutton zone 5


i have a very nice spare room that i can give you to live in completely free in exchange for ocassional sex. you can continue to work as escort outside the house. you will live in completely free and with full freedom


i am 32 years, settled professionally. i prefer to keep our relation discreet


let me know if this interests you. this is a very genuine proposal


kisses
Loserboy"

Wow! I better go pack my suitcase!  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 05 June 2011, 12:50:37 pm
Lmao I've had that message as well! And I dOnt even live in London!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 05 June 2011, 12:56:09 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 05 June 2011, 11:19:33 am

The first one - jeebus! "FUCK ON TOP" is going to be a phrase I try to randomly insert into every conversation I have this week. I imagine it has to be yelled in a state of complete overexcitement as though, for instance, you'd just written a really pointlessly long fantasy out so that you could spam it to a bunch of hookers. Perhaps with a little hop/jig when yelling it, too.

ha ha ha ha:-)))  I found "FUCK ON TOP" hilarious too.
I was in hysterics at the parts where her nipples and tits were getting shot to pieces but she still wanted to ride his probably by this stage,  rigor-mortised member! lmao

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 05 June 2011, 01:54:37 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 05 June 2011, 12:50:37 pm
Lmao I've had that message as well! And I dOnt even live in London!!!

What?!? And i thought i was special...  :'(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 05 June 2011, 02:55:15 pm
Heres another douchebag! His first email was enquiring about an overnight booking where he offered to pay less than half the money i charge... Twit... I responded anyway by declining his generous offer... This is his response...

"shame we can't meet but you can't have it all

i like a drink, but most only in the weekend

i like a but not all the time

so profile, ? what can i say

x"

Um...? You could try saying that in plain English for a start...  ::)  I didnt feel the need to reply to that one! I didnt ask about his drinking habits... A? I assume he means anal... Didnt ask about that... Hmm...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 05 June 2011, 03:37:48 pm
Though I attract my fair share the weekends always seem too attract them more, I usually work late on the weekend but had got up early that day (for a booking that then canceled!) so i finished at 2...really so i could watch BGT final lol Probably a good thing, can't imagine what would have come in If I stayed on to the usualy 3/4ish lol

The last one I have no idea, such a weird email it''s almost as if it wasn't meant for me but as we've had absolutetly no contact before you cant really email by accident (this was through AW)

Maybe he's some how seen the first email and thought i really was some trained super killer! Though if he'd read the whole thing I do in fact kill myself in the end...idiot lol  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Adamas on 05 June 2011, 09:34:19 pm
Have just had this email through from AW...

Quote
subject:  you xxx

  fancy tonight???

xxxx

fancy what, tonight, exactly? Being Sunday night I can only presume he means a pint of Ben and Jerrys Cherry Garcia and 5 episodes of Game of Thrones I've been meaning to watch. Yeah, sure, I fancy a bit of that, thanks!


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 05 June 2011, 11:25:44 pm
Lmao that sounds familiar to an aw message I received at 4 in the morning recently "hi dionne is it too early to come and see you?"
Early/late either way it's not going to happen!
I didn't reply but I think the fact that I didn't read it until 9:30 kind of implied that yes, it was too early to come and see me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 06 June 2011, 12:06:12 am
"hello darling

i have a proposal for you


i live in a 2BR very spacious clean and modern flat in london sutton zone 5


i have a very nice spare room that i can give you to live in completely free in exchange for ocassional sex. you can continue to work as escort outside the house. you will live in completely free and with full freedom


i am 32 years, settled professionally. i prefer to keep our relation discreet


let me know if this interests you. this is a very genuine proposal


kisses
Loserboy"

AGAIN!!! Boy, is he desperate!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LeticiaMorgan on 06 June 2011, 07:46:29 pm
Quote from: Kitana on 06 June 2011, 12:06:12 am
hello darling...

I keep getting this idiot too. My responses of 'Do Not Contact Me Again' seem to fall on deaf ears. Just block him on AW :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 06 June 2011, 09:32:10 pm
Haha! I replied just to tell him he already asked me that and my answer is NO! He replied saying 'sorry'... Think he's gone now!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 06 June 2011, 09:45:49 pm
OMG just put it into Word to check, and that professional killer fantasy one is 1940 "words" (I use that loosely, not sure if U and scramming really count...) long. That's dedication.

Friday - permission to share that with anyone I can get to look at it at every possible opportunity? The world needs to see! You should do a dramatic reading of it or something on Youtube as well. Literally the funniest sex story I've ever read (and I spent my teens reading erotic Phantom of the Opera fanfiction...)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 06 June 2011, 10:11:53 pm
Quote from: Krystal Champagne on 06 June 2011, 09:45:49 pm
OMG just put it into Word to check, and that professional killer fantasy one is 1940 "words" (I use that loosely, not sure if U and scramming really count...) long. That's dedication.

Friday - permission to share that with anyone I can get to look at it at every possible opportunity? The world needs to see! You should do a dramatic reading of it or something on Youtube as well. Literally the funniest sex story I've ever read (and I spent my teens reading erotic Phantom of the Opera fanfiction...)

Be my guest! lol It's such nonsense did he really think we would act it out word for word??? Not that it's hard, it pretty much repeats itselfs!  :o

Oh didnt I mention my response too his 1940 word email was excactly: "I dont offer roleplay"  ;D

Quote from: LouLou37 on 06 June 2011, 10:03:06 pm
Friday, the second one sounds (actual) Schizophrenia and/or extreme Ned (Glasgow term). Very weird indeed  :-\

Really I was totally baffled! OH said not too respond to it, not that I would. That's majorily strange on a whole new level!  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kayci on 06 June 2011, 10:36:48 pm
One my friend got yesterday...   As others say 'head-desk'

Him:

Hello,

First of all, congratulations to your page, it looks very nice:)
My name is Marco, 30 yo decent guy, writing from Italy.
I was wondering if there is any way we can meet in Italy during this incoming 2011 summer.

If this is something possible, please let me know and we will take it from here.
Thanks for your attention.
Sincerely,
Marco

My friend:

LOL u sent the same email to my friend. Word for word.

Him:

i know because i am contacting girls i like.

marco

My friend:

Lol u wont get very far, are u even asking to book anyone?

Him:

no lucy im seeing girls id love to meet and send this "unique" invitation, more mature girls are up for an international meeting lol

what can I do if English girls are the best in this world?:)

you just try to see them anywhere you are:)

marco

My friend:

LOL i hope you DONT fool anyone to agree!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 07 June 2011, 08:55:40 am
It is not even 8.30am and I get this one.

Had a missed call, texted to ring again and he did. - Within 1 min.

Me - Hello how can I help?

Him - you texted me to ring you

Me - Yes because you rang me and I missed it, how can I help?

Him - I want to see you

Me - Yes, when did you want to meet up?

Him - As soon as you can get here, I'm on the Loose road

Me - Fine, it is not far so I can do that for 150, where on the Loose Road?

Him - 44 Loose Road, when can you get here?.  I don't mind paying extra.

Me - What's the postcode?

Him - Suck my dick bitch!!!!!


I am guessing he was not on the Loose Road after all and a postcode blew his mind.  Lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 07 June 2011, 10:10:15 am
Quote from: Kayci on 06 June 2011, 10:36:48 pm
One my friend got yesterday...   As others say 'head-desk'

Him:

Hello,

First of all, congratulations to your page, it looks very nice:)
My name is Marco, 30 yo decent guy, writing from Italy.
I was wondering if there is any way we can meet in Italy during this incoming 2011 summer.

If this is something possible, please let me know and we will take it from here.
Thanks for your attention.
Sincerely,
Marco

I got this as well, and yep, didn't bother replying either! You can always tell a stupid pointless spammer, can't you? "Decent guy", pfft. Try actually paying for the services you'd like to receive, you absolute twazzock. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 07 June 2011, 01:02:36 pm
Another contender for the title...

"Hi i saw ur website i like bbw. My family holiday spain i like to meet you or visit me friday off at work x"

Ruby xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 07 June 2011, 02:37:21 pm
A wonderful call I got today, I swear AW should make guys do an IQ test before they join... Then again I'd be doing myself out of money if they did!

Him: Hi! I saw your ad on Adultwork
Me: Hi, would you like an appointment today?
Him: Yeah, what do you look like?
Me:Did you see my pics on AW?
Him: Yeah
Me: I look like that.
Him: Oh, ok how much?
Me: Did you see the prices on AW?
Him: Yeah
Me: That's how much, the times available are on there too

And then he made a booking lol!

XxX
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 07 June 2011, 03:28:49 pm
Quote from: JessiBlack on 07 June 2011, 02:37:21 pm

Him: Hi! I saw your ad on Adultwork
Me: Hi, would you like an appointment today?
Him: Yeah, what do you look like?
Me:Did you see my pics on AW?
Him: Yeah
Me: I look like that.
Him: Oh, ok how much?
Me: Did you see the prices on AW?
Him: Yeah
Me: That's how much, the times available are on there too



Thats bloody AWESOME!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 07 June 2011, 09:16:53 pm
Quote from: JessiBlack on 07 June 2011, 02:37:21 pm
A wonderful call I got today, I swear AW should make guys do an IQ test before they join... Then again I'd be doing myself out of money if they did!

Him: Hi! I saw your ad on Adultwork
Me: Hi, would you like an appointment today?
Him: Yeah, what do you look like?
Me:Did you see my pics on AW?
Him: Yeah
Me: I look like that.
Him: Oh, ok how much?
Me: Did you see the prices on AW?
Him: Yeah
Me: That's how much, the times available are on there too

And then he made a booking lol!

XxX


Good handling! So has he visited yet, and if so could he work the doorbell, toilet etc. without help?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 08 June 2011, 12:43:42 am
Heres my latest idiot!

"Hello!

Dont forget the good pictures can make more money for you.
I am escort photographer with 5 years experience from Marbella/Spain.
I can do for you the good quality pictures for the best price in London.
Discretion guaranted!

Rates:
Pictures: 100 /hour plus half hour with you or 50 pounds and 1 hour with you no matter how many pictures."

Yeah right...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 08 June 2011, 08:57:09 am
Quote from: Anika Mae on 07 June 2011, 09:16:53 pm
Quote from: JessiBlack on 07 June 2011, 02:37:21 pm
A wonderful call I got today, I swear AW should make guys do an IQ test before they join... Then again I'd be doing myself out of money if they did!

Him: Hi! I saw your ad on Adultwork
Me: Hi, would you like an appointment today?
Him: Yeah, what do you look like?
Me:Did you see my pics on AW?
Him: Yeah
Me: I look like that.
Him: Oh, ok how much?
Me: Did you see the prices on AW?
Him: Yeah
Me: That's how much, the times available are on there too

And then he made a booking lol!

XxX


Good handling! So has he visited yet, and if so could he work the doorbell, toilet etc. without help?

Lol funny you should mention doorbells! He's one of those people who press continuously until they get an answer... bloody infuriating! He preformed admirably with the light switch... if nowhere else lol!

XxX   
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 08 June 2011, 04:45:22 pm
Quote from: JessiBlack on 07 June 2011, 02:37:21 pm

And then he made a booking lol!

Last he made a booking!!! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 09 June 2011, 12:23:46 pm
Not so much a 'How not to book an escort' as a 'How to make an escorts jaw drop to the floor with your sheer, mind boggling arrogance'.

Client had booked via AW several days ago for an incall at 2pm today. I repeated TWICE in my emails that he would need to ring me by 10am this morning to confirm and get location details.

So 10am comes and goes, no phonecall.  At 11.15pm I then take another appointment from a different  chap for a 2pm appointment.

1o minutes ago my phone rings, it is my lovely AW 'client'.

Him: 'Hi Simone, I'm just ringing to get your location details for our meeting at 2pm'
Me: (I'm having a bad week and fools are not being suffered gladly) 'Is there any particular reason why you failed to confirm this morning like  I asked you to'?
Him: 'Oh I didn't think you would really be bothered with that sort of thing when it came down to it, I know what you girls are like'  :o :o

He found out precisely what us girls are 'Like' when I told him his appointment was cancelled and NEVER to contact me again !! Grrrrrrrrr >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 10 June 2011, 04:53:54 pm
And we have another irresistible offer...

"hi there, im a profesional tattoo artist from xxxxxxxxx, would you be interested in getting a tattoo in return for some time spent with you. i can do any style of tattoo and can draw up anything you have in mind. xxxx"

It IS tempting to let a complete stranger of unknown artistic ability jab needles into me and mark me permanently but I think I'll stick to asking for cash thanks.

Ruby xx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 11 June 2011, 11:30:29 am
A call, yesterday, 13:30
Haggler... :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 11 June 2011, 06:10:02 pm
LMAO@ 'oh you remembered'!!! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha did he think you were going to forget and go through that same thing all over??? Hahahahahaha that has made me chuckle!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kayci on 12 June 2011, 12:55:43 pm
Got this one this morning, i havent emailed back yet to tell him if i wanted any work done i would pay someone like anyone else and if he wants to book me id much rather cash.  I think these emails are alittle sad.

'hi
I am a profesional builder and often do work for working girls in exchange for their services. If you have anything that needs doing please let me know and we can help eachother out.

hope to hear from you soon

Knob'

Kayci X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DawnPA on 13 June 2011, 03:52:56 am
These are so classic! I look forward to the day when I can post here... ok, I'm lying. :P I laughed way too loud at the "Oh you remembered" gent.


Quote from: Friday on 28 May 2011, 12:39:47 am
The other has been harassing me for a booking, I've ignored all messages and phone calls and he texts me his full address!! I haven't responded too anything and he sends his full address! nutter! Oooh the things I could do with it lol the mind ponders  ;D


Maybe he deserves one of  these (http://cgi.ebay.com/PRANK-TOOTHLESS-TRANNY-joke-revenge-envelope-/370518527315?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item5644a00d53)...? ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ~ abigail ~ on 13 June 2011, 06:50:49 pm
Just had a 'punter' - note inverted comma's!!! ;D Wanted to book a 15 minute quickie, asked the cost, clearly had not read my profile page at all! After a bit of too-ing and fro -ing then proceeded to tell me he would charge me hahahaha but only ?20 for as long as I wanted! Wow lucky lucky me! I took a peek at his profile page on AW and found lo and behold he is a male escort but usually cvhrages ?50 per 30 mins and ?100 per hour hahahaha only been a member for a short time! Needless to say I declined and told him to get a proper job else he will starve! :) :) :) also told him strangely I get enough sex and dont need to pay for it as weirdly I get paid!!!! I'm still laughing hahahaha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 14 June 2011, 12:15:10 am
Quote from: DawnPA on 13 June 2011, 03:52:56 am
Maybe he deserves one of  these (http://cgi.ebay.com/PRANK-TOOTHLESS-TRANNY-joke-revenge-envelope-/370518527315?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item5644a00d53)...? ;)

thats amazing!! lol  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 15 June 2011, 01:02:48 pm
Email I received this morning

"Good morning,

I'm an artist from Gloucestershire working on loads of ideas and projects, and i was flicking through and I came across your self and I was just like WOW, this lady has something?.. so I thought i would drop you a line

I?m working on a few  project?s at the moment, one is Work place stress, I'm doing an office shoot with a twist??!!

I'M also doing body casting / lifecasting

Body casting, also known as lifecasting, is the process of taking a mould directly from any part of the body to produce a sculpture.

Torsos, backs, bums, boobs, hands and feet, etc. are all possible. Lifecasts are extremely accurate with incredible detail and we can also enhance them to bring out your best features and smooth out anything else!

Now I  think you have an amazing look and would love the chance to meet up and go over a few of these ideas with you. Let me know what you think

 'Desperate artist'"

My reply "Hi 'Desperate artist'

I would more than happy to pose for you for pictures (with my face covered of course) and/or castings.
 
My rates are very clearly stated on my profile so I you would like to make a booking then let me know.
 
I look forward to your response.
 
Regards
Dionne
xxx"

Email back from him
"thanks but not what i had in mind or how i work sorry"

WTF well you were looking through escorting site so what exactly did you have in mind!??!!!!!
Theres more backs and forth but I not going to post them!
What a twit!!!



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lorelei on 15 June 2011, 05:50:17 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 15 June 2011, 01:02:48 pm
Email I received this morning

"Good morning,

I'm an artist from Gloucestershire working on loads of ideas and projects, and i was flicking through and I came across your self and I was just like WOW, this lady has something?.. so I thought i would drop you a line

I?m working on a few  project?s at the moment, one is Work place stress, I'm doing an office shoot with a twist??!!

I'M also doing body casting / lifecasting

Body casting, also known as lifecasting, is the process of taking a mould directly from any part of the body to produce a sculpture.

Torsos, backs, bums, boobs, hands and feet, etc. are all possible. Lifecasts are extremely accurate with incredible detail and we can also enhance them to bring out your best features and smooth out anything else!

Now I  think you have an amazing look and would love the chance to meet up and go over a few of these ideas with you. Let me know what you think

 'Desperate artist'"

My reply "Hi 'Desperate artist'

I would more than happy to pose for you for pictures (with my face covered of course) and/or castings.
 
My rates are very clearly stated on my profile so I you would like to make a booking then let me know.
 
I look forward to your response.
 
Regards
Dionne
xxx"

Email back from him
"thanks but not what i had in mind or how i work sorry"

WTF well you were looking through escorting site so what exactly did you have in mind!??!!!!!
Theres more backs and forth but I not going to post them!
What a twit!!!

I got it too in March and actually fell for this scam. I told him by e-mail that I wanted a body cast that I could use as a dressmaker's dummy, he said yes. Then I asked him to either ring or reply with his number to arrange an initial meeting to discuss the details of his project. He messed me about for the following few days with repetitive e-mails asking what  my phone number was and what time should he ring. After I e-mailed my number three times and I then still got a fourth message from him asking what my number was, I than had let go of any illusion that he was genuine and admitted to myself that I was dealing with a time-waster playing nonsense.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 15 June 2011, 06:24:22 pm
Quote from: Alexandra_23 on 15 June 2011, 05:50:17 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 15 June 2011, 01:02:48 pm
Email I received this morning

"Good morning,

I'm an artist from Gloucestershire working on loads of ideas and projects, and i was flicking through and I came across your self and I was just like WOW, this lady has something?.. so I thought i would drop you a line

I?m working on a few  project?s at the moment, one is Work place stress, I'm doing an office shoot with a twist??!!

I'M also doing body casting / lifecasting

Body casting, also known as lifecasting, is the process of taking a mould directly from any part of the body to produce a sculpture.

Torsos, backs, bums, boobs, hands and feet, etc. are all possible. Lifecasts are extremely accurate with incredible detail and we can also enhance them to bring out your best features and smooth out anything else!

Now I  think you have an amazing look and would love the chance to meet up and go over a few of these ideas with you. Let me know what you think

 'Desperate artist'"

My reply "Hi 'Desperate artist'

I would more than happy to pose for you for pictures (with my face covered of course) and/or castings.
 
My rates are very clearly stated on my profile so I you would like to make a booking then let me know.
 
I look forward to your response.
 
Regards
Dionne
xxx"

Email back from him
"thanks but not what i had in mind or how i work sorry"

WTF well you were looking through escorting site so what exactly did you have in mind!??!!!!!
Theres more backs and forth but I not going to post them!
What a twit!!!

I got it too in March and actually fell for this scam. I told him by e-mail that I wanted a body cast that I could use as a dressmaker's dummy, he said yes. Then I asked him to either ring or reply with his number to arrange an initial meeting to discuss the details of his project. He messed me about for the following few days with repetitive e-mails asking what  my phone number was and what time should he ring. After I e-mailed my number three times and I then still got a fourth message from him asking what my number was, I than had let go of any illusion that he was genuine and admitted to myself that I was dealing with a time-waster playing nonsense.

Aww never mind :-(
I wonder what he gets out of it? since he seemed offended by the thought that he was doing it for sexual favours!!!
I know how to make yourself a cheap dress makers dummy, i can inbox the process to you if you want?
xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lorelei on 15 June 2011, 08:32:19 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 15 June 2011, 06:24:22 pm
I know how to make yourself a cheap dress makers dummy, i can inbox the process to you if you want?
xx
Oh, yes, I would be most grateful if you could do that!   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Adamas on 15 June 2011, 09:12:32 pm
I suppose it's my own fault for answering the phone, but since I'd forgotten to turn it off it was either answer it or run the risk of the big kids shouting down the house and running to bring it to me or, LORD!, even answering it.

So I'm in the middle of reading the little one a bed time story and the phone goes, I have to race to grab it,  hand off the story to husband, good thing he was right there!, and close my bedroom door to answer it.  Punter on the other end mumbles something about seeing my ad, visit, rate. Those are seriously the only words I could make out. Not exactly difficult to suss out what he wants so I explain I offer outcalls only and what my rate is.  He then asks me if that includes "everything"! ARGH. I answer yes, it does.  He decides to hem and haw about it before telling me he'd need to "think" about it. I tell him  to think about it and call me tomorrow to make a booking.

He calls me up at half past 8, insults me with the "does that include everything" bit, THEN hems and haws like he's hoping I'll knock my rate back just for him or something.   I really hate these discount seekers, I even had a client the other day who I've seen before who wanted to make a 2nd booking drop out when I nicely reminded him that my rate had gone up. I'm not exactly charging over the odds for the service I offer and even though the money, even heavily discounted, would be nice, I'm not willing to drop my rate. It's what my time and my "service" is worth. Seriously, do these guys think they're haggling with the olive guy on market day or something?

    Eh. I know this is nothing new, just a bit annoyed with the discount seeking time wasters...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 15 June 2011, 10:25:50 pm
Had too share.. conversation from my freechat box:

Deluded_: hello
IluvJem: hi there
Deluded_: what would be the donation for a massage only
Deluded_: mostly back and shoulder?
IluvJem: my rates are on my page
Deluded_: so basically a 100 pound for a back massage?
IluvJem: i charge per time not service, im an escort  you want a massage got to a masseuse
Deluded_: i will
Deluded_ leaves the room

"Donation" im not a bloody charity either!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 15 June 2011, 10:42:01 pm
Ok alexandra I will pm you tomorrow x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kitty_of_Herts on 15 June 2011, 11:48:26 pm
Quote
hi hun

i have a proposal for you

i live in a 2BR very spacious clean and modern flat in london sutton zone 5

i have a very nice spare room that i can give you to live in completely free in exchange for intimacy. this means u do not pay any rent or utility bills or grocery etc. moreover i can cook nice indian curry dishes for you too

you will live in completely free and with full freedom. u can continue doing outcalls

i am 32 years, settled professionally. i prefer to keep our relation discreet

let me know if this interests you. this is a very genuine proposal and only serious replies please

Indian curry dishes cooked just for ME? I think we have a winner here  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 16 June 2011, 12:05:55 am
Hey
Where exactly are you situated and would being 17 or 18 with experience be okay?
Be great to hear back from you as I'm very interested :)
Thanks
James.

well I have no doubt you are very interested young james!  ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 16 June 2011, 04:08:01 am
Quote from: Kitty_of_Herts on 15 June 2011, 11:48:26 pm
Quote
hi hun

i have a proposal for you

i live in a 2BR very spacious clean and modern flat in london sutton zone 5

i have a very nice spare room that i can give you to live in completely free in exchange for intimacy. this means u do not pay any rent or utility bills or grocery etc. moreover i can cook nice indian curry dishes for you too

you will live in completely free and with full freedom. u can continue doing outcalls

i am 32 years, settled professionally. i prefer to keep our relation discreet

let me know if this interests you. this is a very genuine proposal and only serious replies please

Indian curry dishes cooked just for ME? I think we have a winner here  ::)

How unfair! He emailed me too but he didnt offer me curry...    :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 16 June 2011, 11:17:41 am
Quote
hi hun

i have a proposal for you

i live in a 2BR very spacious clean and modern flat in london sutton zone 5

i have a very nice spare room that i can give you to live in completely free in exchange for intimacy. this means u do not pay any rent or utility bills or grocery etc. moreover i can cook nice indian curry dishes for you too

you will live in completely free and with full freedom. u can continue doing outcalls

i am 32 years, settled professionally. i prefer to keep our relation discreet

let me know if this interests you. this is a very genuine proposal and only serious replies please
Quote from: Kitana on 16 June 2011, 04:08:01 am
How unfair! He emailed me too but he didnt offer me curry...    :(

I haven't had one of these in ages. *sobs* ...But maybe he'll ask me again soon and offer to throw in a foot massage or something? I live in hope. ;D

And really, if he offered rent-free living with incalls allowed, he'd probably get way more interest! But perhaps he ironically thinks other punters are less amazing than him. Har.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 16 June 2011, 11:23:26 am
Quote from: Kitty_of_Herts on 15 June 2011, 11:48:26 pm
Quote
hi hun

i have a proposal for you

i live in a 2BR very spacious clean and modern flat in london sutton zone 5

i have a very nice spare room that i can give you to live in completely free in exchange for intimacy. this means u do not pay any rent or utility bills or grocery etc. moreover i can cook nice indian curry dishes for you too

you will live in completely free and with full freedom. u can continue doing outcalls

i am 32 years, settled professionally. i prefer to keep our relation discreet

let me know if this interests you. this is a very genuine proposal and only serious replies please

Indian curry dishes cooked just for ME? I think we have a winner here  ::)

I NEVER GOT AN OFFER FOR INDIAN CURRY DISHES!!!!!

 :'(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 16 June 2011, 05:34:01 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 16 June 2011, 11:23:26 am
Quote from: Kitty_of_Herts on 15 June 2011, 11:48:26 pm
Quote
hi hun

i have a proposal for you

i live in a 2BR very spacious clean and modern flat in london sutton zone 5

i have a very nice spare room that i can give you to live in completely free in exchange for intimacy. this means u do not pay any rent or utility bills or grocery etc. moreover i can cook nice indian curry dishes for you too

you will live in completely free and with full freedom. u can continue doing outcalls

i am 32 years, settled professionally. i prefer to keep our relation discreet

let me know if this interests you. this is a very genuine proposal and only serious replies please

Indian curry dishes cooked just for ME? I think we have a winner here  ::)

I NEVER GOT AN OFFER FOR INDIAN CURRY DISHES!!!!!

 :'(

Neither did i :(
Lets find out where he lives and then protest!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kitty_of_Herts on 16 June 2011, 05:38:38 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 16 June 2011, 11:17:41 am
I haven't had one of these in ages. *sobs* ...But maybe he'll ask me again soon and offer to throw in a foot massage or something? I live in hope. ;D

And really, if he offered rent-free living with incalls allowed, he'd probably get way more interest! But perhaps he ironically thinks other punters are less amazing than him. Har.

Perhaps? I don't think he's the only one it applies to...
If I had a pound for every time a client asked me out because he thought we'd "clicked"... I'd probably hang my stockings up for a good while! Bless their cotton socks. They are all beautiful and unique little snowflakes  ;)


& Don't worry girls. When I live in his house, totally RENT FREE (aside from the odd BJ & fuck of course), I'll invite you all round for a dinner party and he can cook every single one of us. Mwahahaha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 16 June 2011, 07:25:53 pm
Woo hooo, was beginning to feel left out, but I just got it too...and I get curry! I feel special and told him so too! lmao

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 16 June 2011, 08:21:28 pm
Firm appointment booked.
15 minutes after appointment time, I phone...Goes to a/phone, so I left a polite message.
2 minutes later:

Phone rings
Phone rings
Wanking Michael of Potters Bar holds his now-silent mobile phone in one hand
and a rapidly drooping willy in the other.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: merrymary on 16 June 2011, 09:26:38 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 16 June 2011, 08:21:28 pm
  • Jodie-Ok. (speaks slooowly) Michael,   -you - are - now - on - my - Blocked list  Byyyyeeee.
Wanking Michael of Potters Bar holds his now-silent mobile phone in one hand
and a rapidly drooping willy in the other.

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 17 June 2011, 06:16:32 am
Quote from: JodieTs on 16 June 2011, 08:21:28 pm
Wanking Michael of Potters Bar holds his now-silent mobile phone in one hand
and a rapidly drooping willy in the other.

LMAO
You always crack me up Jodie.

Coty XXX
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 17 June 2011, 01:32:54 pm
Today's not a good day :(

"Hey bbe x I have 2 requests if you can do them I will pay the extra.

I would like to book you for a few hours and cum into a glass and when it gets full watch you drink it all but I would lime to have my dick in you.when you do.x

The other request I have an older gentelman friend and we like to tuck girls together he is 78 and I am 24 he wants you to.suck his cock and for him to be allowed to suck your tits and while he is doing that I want to fuck you xxx

If you CAn do.this we will pay the extra xxx

Thanks bbe x"

I don't do oral without, come in mouth or swallowing but yes I would like to drink a glass of spunk -_-
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 17 June 2011, 02:53:27 pm
Hi it is your friday boyfriend
here how r u today. Xxx

Thanks for the laugh.
BLOCKED!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 17 June 2011, 09:43:12 pm
Got a text this morning - "Hi could you tell me your rates and where you are based please?"

So far, so normal.

I text back - "Hi there my rates are {rates} and I'm in {small area of town}. I'm free today from 10.30"

Him - "Thanks. Do you mean free in the sense of no cost?"

bbbbbbbbbbbbwwwwwwwwwwwwhahahahahahahahaha!

Are you kidding me?  ;D Why in God's name would I want to do it for FREE?

It is taking haggling to another level!

I ignored. he went on to text "I will pay ?30 for the hour if it's not free"  ;D

and then "Think about it and lemme know"

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 17 June 2011, 11:35:48 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 17 June 2011, 09:43:12 pm
I text back - "Hi there my rates are {rates} and I'm in {small area of town}. I'm free today from 10.30"

Him - "Thanks. Do you mean free in the sense of no cost?"

Aaahahahahahaha! That actually made me laugh out loud in real life. Definitely going in the "Hilariously Foolish Wishful Thinking" pile of anecdotes. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 18 June 2011, 12:34:33 am
Quote from: Dionne on 17 June 2011, 01:32:54 pm
Today's not a good day :(

"Hey bbe x I have 2 requests if you can do them I will pay the extra.

I would like to book you for a few hours and cum into a glass and when it gets full watch you drink it all but I would lime to have my dick in you.when you do.x

The other request I have an older gentelman friend and we like to tuck girls together he is 78 and I am 24 he wants you to.suck his cock and for him to be allowed to suck your tits and while he is doing that I want to fuck you xxx

If you CAn do.this we will pay the extra xxx

Thanks bbe x"

I don't do oral without, come in mouth or swallowing but yes I would like to drink a glass of spunk -_-


Yep, I've just come back from a dinner date to that one  ::). Other delights from today include:

Quote
Hi Amy. Working in Camden tonight wondered how you feel about champagne and other (optional) party intoxicants with your AW encounters. If this appeals and you're free late tonight , please do get back to me. best wishes

Pillock. I told him that I started at 7.30am and do not work late nights, plus since I don't even drink alcohol when I'm working I suspect he would be disappointed anyway (although not nearly as disappointed as he would be if he had the brass neck to turn up at mine with Class As and wound up in the cells).

And people wonder why I won't take phone bookings from AW.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jem on 18 June 2011, 02:25:58 pm
Brilliant one LouLou37!   ::)  Got this call a few days ago from a 'gent' who could barely understand what I was saying but didnt even get the idea of coming up with a date/time etc :

Idiot: Hello
Me: Hello
Idiot: Where are you?
Me: Stockwell
Idiot: What is address?
Me: Why would I give you my address?
Idiot: I need address.
Me: Why?
Idiot: I need sex.
Me: That's a pity, because it doesnt look like it's going to happen for you today.  Goodbye,

Saved as 'communication issues dont answer'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 18 June 2011, 02:42:26 pm
Quote from: MissArcaBunny on 07 June 2011, 02:37:21 pm

Him: Yeah, what do you look like?
Me:Did you see my pics on AW?
Him: Yeah
Me: I look like that.

You should get Royalties for this one MissArcaBunny, I've used it several times already and it cracks me up every time :)

R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 19 June 2011, 12:48:00 pm
Withheld number: Hi.  I'd like to see you; do you offer bareback?
Me Bareback anal sex?
Withheld number: Yes please
Me Sure, but I HAVE to tell you that I have full blown AIDS
Withheld number: Pardon?
Me I'm legally obliged to  inform you, as the last seven clients who had anal bareback sex with me, all died of AIDS caught from me
Withheld number: Are you taking the piss?
Me You started it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RachelGivethBBW on 19 June 2011, 04:59:27 pm
*Doubles over with laughter and stores for future use*

Cracker!!  ;D

x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kayci on 19 June 2011, 07:41:32 pm
Just had a email from a guy called Craig in North London who claims he is starting a agency blah blah.  Hope no one falls for it!  I told him jog-on and that i have added him to spamlist.  When i did that i lost the email otherwise i would post it in all the sections think his username is LIKELYLAD from memory.

Kayci X x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LeticiaMorgan on 20 June 2011, 01:36:57 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 19 June 2011, 12:48:00 pm
Withheld number: Hi.  I'd like to see you; do you offer bareback?
Jodie Bareback anal sex?
Withheld number: Yes please
Jodie Sure, but I HAVE to tell you that I have full blown AIDS
Withheld number: Pardon?
Jodie I'm legally obliged to  inform you, as the last seven clients who had anal bareback sex with me, all died of AIDS caught from me
Withheld number: Are you taking the piss?
Jodie You started it.

Oh Jodie! ROFLMAO!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 20 June 2011, 06:42:14 pm
"Hi is that Anika?"
Yes it is.
"Are you happy to see couples?"
Yep, that's fine.
"Are you ok with facials?"
No I don't do that. It says so on my services page.
"Oh well it's just that my girlfriend squirts a lot, and I know she's keen to come on your face."

Wow, really? Well in that case my tight pussy is getting wet already thinking about all the hot sticky lesbian girl-spunk your completely real girlfriend is going to deposit on my face! Mmmm. Yeah. Bring it on, big boy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 20 June 2011, 08:03:39 pm
Quote from: Anika Mae on 20 June 2011, 06:42:14 pm
"Hi is that Anika?"
Yes it is.
"Are you happy to see couples?"
Yep, that's fine.
"Are you ok with facials?"
No I don't do that. It says so on my services page.
"Oh well it's just that my girlfriend squirts a lot, and I know she's keen to come on your face."

Wow, really? Well in that case my tight pussy is getting wet already thinking about all the hot sticky lesbian girl-spunk your completely real girlfriend is going to deposit on my face! Mmmm. Yeah. Bring it on, big boy.

you know what I've just recently removed the option of couples from my profile as all it attracted was idiots! I met one very sweet couple and thats it.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 20 June 2011, 10:00:59 pm
"Hello,
Am Susana, I am an africa girl, I read your profile today at (www.captain69.co.uk) It was so good to me. I feel you are the only one missing in my entered life so i desided to stop on it and let you know that i am interested to be a friend first, please contact me at my email adress ( susanayake0@overtherainbow ) I am a girl with respect and responsible, I respect people also and believe if you contact me, I will give you a full introduction of my self okay. Remeber the distance or colour does not matter but love matters alot in life cares for my future love.( susanayake0@overtherainbow )"

I know we all get these spam email from Africa regardless of work email or personal but seriously she got me from captain69!?!?! Whats that all about!  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 20 June 2011, 10:54:31 pm
Just email harvesting I suppose, with the name of the site attached to make the message marginally more convincing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 21 June 2011, 09:07:02 am
Text received yesterday

"Hi I have your number but I do not know who you are, text back".

Of course I will!

I then had 4 missed calls from this man who is desperate to know who I am. Loser.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 23 June 2011, 03:12:03 pm
aw message just received

"good afternoon, it has been a while for me so i was wondering if you would be willing to offer a 5 min hand relief for ?10 hope this does not offend you?"

my fifteen minute quickie is ?45...............
you do the math
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 23 June 2011, 03:46:22 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 23 June 2011, 03:12:03 pm
aw message just received

"good afternoon, it has been a while for me so i was wondering if you would be willing to offer a 5 min hand relief for ?10 hope this does not offend you?"

my fifteen minute quickie is ?45...............
you do the math


I just got this  ::)

"Could you do say just a handjob or just a blowjob for a cheaper price?
very much like to book but will not have spare ?100"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 23 June 2011, 03:51:18 pm
LMAO how funny would it be if it was the same guy?? im in gloucester your in scotland... just how long was he planning to travel for his ten minutes of passion??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sara1980 on 23 June 2011, 05:28:06 pm

Call earlier on.....

'The Negotiator!' - Are you open for negotiations?
Moi - No
'The Negotiator!' I have blue eyes and I'm fit though!
Moi - Hmmmm - I may be interested  ;)
'The Negotiator!' (Sounding quite excited by now) Really? So if I paid ?40 for half an hour would that be ok?
Moi - How about ?55?
'The Negotiator!' But your profile states ?50? Is ?40 ok?
Moi - ?60 would be better......
'The Negotiator!' Eh?
Moi - ?65 and it's a deal......
'The Negotiator!'..... Hung up

Hmmmm - Don't think that was quite what he had in mind  ;D

Quiet day so felt like some fun lol

God Jodie - I hope to hell I get a call like that one, or even for someone to say 'Are you taking the piss' - Just so I can use your line 'You started it' ROFPMSL xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 24 June 2011, 07:18:22 am
Got these charming texts last night when I was out, I think I will politely decline his offer, but he doesn't seem picky so if anyone else wants him feel free!

These entries are the same as the texts but with the names and places changed to protect the idiotic

23/06 18.11 -HELLO BABE MY NAME IS WANKER I JUST SHOE YOU NOW BUT JUST GOT MY PHONE WORKING AGAIN          I DECIDED I WILL TEXT YOU FOR NOW       I WANT TO SEE MEET YOU IN CARLISLE             I BELIEVE YOUR A WORKING GIRL PROSTITUTE SO I WANT TO MEET YOU NEXT WEDNESDAY AT THE MORON CLUB IN MY IMAGINATION AT 130PM AFTERNOON TIME      I WILL TAKE YOU FOR A DRINK AND BACK TO MY FLAT           FOR SEX          S      WILL YOU COME        WHATS YOUR NAMEHOW OLD ARE YOU WANKER WAITING FOR YOUR REPLY

23/06 18.55 - ARE YOU BASED LIVE IN CARLISLE BABE I WAS TOLD YOU ARE FROM NEWCASTLE BUT I HOPE LIVE IN CARLISLE MAKES NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE I WANT TO SEE MEET YOU IN CARLISLE NEXT WEDNESDAY AT THE MORON CLUB IN MY IMAGINATION AT 130PM AFTERNOON TIME AND I WILL GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER RELAX AND DRINKS FOR YOU AND BACK TO MY FLAT OR HOTEL         OK         TEXT ME BACK NOW AND TELL ME YOU ARE COMING I MUST LOOM BY TONIGHT AM A MARRIED MAN BUT I WANT YOU BABE      WOR MY NAME IS WANKER I TEXT YOU BEFORE                 WANKER

23/06 20.19 WELL ARE OU GOING TO TEXT ME BACK ABOUT MEETING ME THEN            OR ARE YOU AN ANGENCY   FOR         GIRLS     WELL SEND ME A GIRL THEN MY NAME IS WANKER

23/06 20.58 - DO YOU WANT TO MEET ME FOR SEX AT MY HOTEL IN CARLISLE YES    MY NAME IS WANKER

23/06 20.59 - BY THE WAY I PAY GOOD MONEY TO YOU WANKER TEXT ME NOW AND TELL ME       WHEN DO YOU WAN TO MEET UP MEET ME            YES

24/06 01.31 - I NEED A SEXY GIRL SENT TO ME I PAY GOOD MONEY FOR A SEXY GIRL WANKER



Actually after re reading the texts I don't think I can resist him! Pass me my coat!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 24 June 2011, 11:39:18 am
Quote from: MissArcaBunny on 24 June 2011, 07:18:22 am
Got these charming texts last night when I was out, I think I will politely decline his offer, but he doesn't seem picky so if anyone else wants him feel free!

Actually after re reading the texts I don't think I can resist him! Pass me my coat!

Urgh...they actually turned my stomach.
Can see why you can't resist...even if you have to go from Newcastle to Carlisle, it would so be worth it! lol

Coty x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 24 June 2011, 11:42:04 am
"HiHope you are well.

I have seen your advert on AW and would like to book an appointment for
today. However, I noticed you do not do in calls ?
If you do I would love to see you today"

Hmmm...no I don't! That's why it says OUT CALLS ONLY in big letters!
Another idiot with an IQ of 3

Coty x



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 24 June 2011, 02:21:57 pm
Quote
Hi! I?m 25. I have a condition known as ?semen leakage? in which I involuntarily and continuously eject drops of watery cum. It also impaired my penis growth so is only 2.7inches and which NEVER ERECTS. If I try to make it erect, in never does but instead STRARTS TWITCHING in excitement and starts ejaculating more, stream of cum drops. It twitches about once in two seconds and with every twitch, ejects few watery cum drops. So I cannot cum in single load, but keep twitching and ejecting cum drops.
Above I have well told you my problems: small penis with no erection, twitching and continuous stream of cum drops. And for this I never tried sex before but I do get excited for sex, so like to try it for first time. I am not sure whether I will be able to do sex but if you are ok to see me, will you give oral without a condom, as it continuously drips cum? I think it won?t be a problem if you keep a glass and keep spitting in it? AND will you be fine if I try penetrating with a flaccid and soft penis, if I?m able to?
Thanks for your time and understandings and kindly if you can give an answer here first, I?ll be then happy to call if they are affirmative.

I don't offer OWO, and I'm assuming he's asking for bareback as well given that it's pretty much impossible to get a condom on a totally flaccid penis. Idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 24 June 2011, 02:51:35 pm
Quote from: Krystal Champagne on 24 June 2011, 02:21:57 pm
Quote
Hi! I?m 25. I have a condition known as ?semen leakage? in which I involuntarily and continuously eject drops of watery cum. It  will you give oral without a condom, as it continuously drips cum? I think it won?t be a problem if you keep a glass and keep spitting in it?

*heaves*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 24 June 2011, 03:12:07 pm
Ive just had a 16 year old try to book me for an Overnight!!! Kids today must get a hell of a lot more pocket money than I did at that age...
R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 24 June 2011, 11:53:57 pm
Quote from: Krystal Champagne on 24 June 2011, 02:21:57 pm
it's pretty much impossible to get a condom on a totally flaccid penis.

Well, if he was genuine then he'd be unlikely he'd realise that (plus there are ways). I kind of think if he was genuine he'd have been more likely to read your profile, though.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 25 June 2011, 11:51:40 am
Quote from: Anika Mae on 24 June 2011, 11:53:57 pm
Quote from: Krystal Champagne on 24 June 2011, 02:21:57 pm
it's pretty much impossible to get a condom on a totally flaccid penis.

Well, if he was genuine then he'd be unlikely he'd realise that (plus there are ways). I kind of think if he was genuine he'd have been more likely to read your profile, though.

I think if he was genuine he'd have probably described his problem in slightly less explicit, excited detail. Like, if the email had been something like "I have this medical condition where I constantly ejaculate/leak a small amount of cum and can't get an erection - would I be ok to see you for OWO and to try sex?" I'd have been pissed he hadn't read my profile but I wouldn't have posted it in this thread, guys asking for stuff I don't do is very normal  ::) This email says to me "humiliation fetish, hoping I'll laugh at his possibly fake medical condition".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 25 June 2011, 11:55:44 am
Quote from: Krystal Champagne on 25 June 2011, 11:51:40 am
Quote from: Anika Mae on 24 June 2011, 11:53:57 pm
Quote from: Krystal Champagne on 24 June 2011, 02:21:57 pm
it's pretty much impossible to get a condom on a totally flaccid penis.

Well, if he was genuine then he'd be unlikely he'd realise that (plus there are ways). I kind of think if he was genuine he'd have been more likely to read your profile, though.

I think if he was genuine he'd have probably described his problem in slightly less explicit, excited detail. Like, if the email had been something like "I have this medical condition where I constantly ejaculate/leak a small amount of cum and can't get an erection - would I be OK to see you for OWO and to try sex?" I'd have been pissed he hadn't read my profile but I wouldn't have posted it in this thread, guys asking for stuff I don't do is very normal  ::) This email says to me "humiliation fetish, hoping I'll laugh at his possibly fake medical condition".

I got this one as well Krystal (We are special ;D). My immediate thought was TW as well. It was the 'You can always spit into a glass' thing that swung it for me, yummy!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 25 June 2011, 10:55:06 pm
Quote from: Krystal Champagne on 24 June 2011, 02:21:57 pm
...will you give oral without a condom, as it continuously drips cum? I think it won?t be a problem if you keep a glass and keep spitting in it?

Is his name  John Thompson  and is he German? (http://www.johnthompsonbukkake.com/shop.php?action=browselib&catid=8)   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 26 June 2011, 09:26:47 pm
"very sesnaul pictures you have!
i would love to meet and mate with you if i come to Glasgow
your stay recomandations are very useful!"

 :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 27 June 2011, 01:18:07 am
Quote from: Friday on 26 June 2011, 09:26:47 pm
"very sesnaul pictures you have!
i would love to meet and mate with you if i come to Glasgow
your stay recomandations are very useful!"

 :-X

LMAO....mate with you........ha ha ha ha ha...too funny!
I have a client who always says...'I've just discharged' when he cums...it really turns my stomach for some reason!

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 27 June 2011, 05:16:47 am
Quote from: Coty on 24 June 2011, 11:39:18 am
Quote from: MissArcaBunny on 24 June 2011, 07:18:22 am
Got these charming texts last night when I was out, I think I will politely decline his offer, but he doesn't seem picky so if anyone else wants him feel free!

Actually after re reading the texts I don't think I can resist him! Pass me my coat!

Urgh...they actually turned my stomach.
Can see why you can't resist...even if you have to go from Newcastle to Carlisle, it would so be worth it! lol

Coty x

Oh hell yeah, I'm sure he'll be great!

Especially as he seems to have split personalities or 2 mates using the same phone to book me lol!

He has text me 3 more times over the weekend, but his name has changed 3 times too!

XxX
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 27 June 2011, 12:41:28 pm
Quote from: Coty on 27 June 2011, 01:18:07 am
Quote from: Friday on 26 June 2011, 09:26:47 pm
"very sesnaul pictures you have!
i would love to meet and mate with you if i come to Glasgow
your stay recomandations are very useful!"

 :-X

LMAO....mate with you........ha ha ha ha ha...too funny!
I have a client who always says...'I've just discharged' when he cums...it really turns my stomach for some reason!

Coty xxx

OMG, "mate with you" and "I've discharged" - I am crying with laughter here!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sara1980 on 27 June 2011, 02:26:09 pm

hi my name is ********, i found your profile on ukadultzone the reason why im contacting you is because  ive started an agency on
 
adultwork.com and i was really impressed with your profile and i and i think you would be perfect for the agency,it doesn't cost anything
 
at all and you chose your rates. there are a lot of benefits if you join my group  the site gets 35,000 visitors each day and im spending
 
nearly a thousand pound a week to have my agency  on the front page and have my girls at the top of each search and on google advertising and on other escort websites . its completely
 
freelance so you work when you want were you want ant you set your own fees.if your interested in joining my agency  reply to this
 
email send me a txt or give me a call on 077868582**, you wont have to do anything i will create your profile from the
 
details on ukadultzone.
 
this is the link to my agency  http://groups.adultwork.com/Real+Women+Escorts
 
this is the link to my profile  http://www.adultwork.com/1230169
 
thank you for your time and i really hope you take me up on this offer yours truly *******


WOW..... Just..... WOW!! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 27 June 2011, 02:29:21 pm
Quote from: sara1980 on 27 June 2011, 02:26:09 pm

hi my name is ********, i found your profile on ukadultzone the reason why im contacting you is because  ive started an agency on


Oh yes I've had this via email and text! What an idiot. My on AW profile is way more established and gets way more traffic than his stupid group. They really do believe its that easy! ha ha  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kayci on 27 June 2011, 03:57:23 pm
Only problem is ALL of those other WG's on his 'group' are silly enough to fall for it!! )-:
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 27 June 2011, 04:12:34 pm
Quote from: Kayci on 27 June 2011, 03:57:23 pm
Only problem is ALL of those other WG's on his 'group' are silly enough to fall for it!! )-:

Also, running an agency is illegal in this country (not sure what they'd do about all the AW nonsense surrounding it, but still) and he has a full-face picture of himself on his own stupid agency page.

I literally cannot believe the idiocy sometimes!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 27 June 2011, 04:29:56 pm
Quote from: Kayci on 27 June 2011, 03:57:23 pm
Only problem is ALL of those other WG's on his 'group' are silly enough to fall for it!! )-:

I did notice though they were all new profiles..you'd hope soon work out they could be on AW on there own without that numpty  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 27 June 2011, 04:48:21 pm
Quote from: *amber* on 12 July 2010, 11:01:44 am
yay I got my own one now!!!

Quote
Subject: Hello nice girl who show a little her lovely breast
 
 

I'm going to travel to england with my biGirlfiend mid august. Do you do long booking as a sensual travel compagnion ie 24h, 3 days, 7 days? What are your price for plenty of fun?
We are looking for a good FFM3some whith a nice girl with plenty of kissing, licking and sucking. All expenses are for us.
Thank you nice girl
Kiss

 

Someone needs to tell him I am not a nice girl!

Kisses

Amber


OMG, I'm reading this thread, am up to July 2010, saw the post above...I received this EXACT message last week!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 27 June 2011, 04:54:05 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 27 June 2011, 04:48:21 pm
Quote from: *amber* on 12 July 2010, 11:01:44 am
yay I got my own one now!!!

Quote
Subject: Hello nice girl who show a little her lovely breast
 
 

I'm going to travel to england with my biGirlfiend mid august. Do you do long booking as a sensual travel compagnion ie 24h, 3 days, 7 days? What are your price for plenty of fun?
We are looking for a good FFM3some whith a nice girl with plenty of kissing, licking and sucking. All expenses are for us.
Thank you nice girl
Kiss

 

Someone needs to tell him I am not a nice girl!

Kisses

Amber


OMG, I'm reading this thread, am up to July 2010, saw the post above...I received this EXACT message last week!!

LMAO i have had this as well.... ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sara1980 on 27 June 2011, 05:38:55 pm

I had that one last year too. God, we're spoilt rotten aren't we lol!!

'Agency guy' - Yip, all new profiles but most of them have never logged in! I thought I was the 'chosen one'..... How disappointing that I'm not  :'( lol!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 27 June 2011, 07:59:04 pm
Quote from: sara1980 on 27 June 2011, 05:38:55 pm

I had that one last year too. God, we're spoilt rotten aren't we lol!!

'Agency guy' - Yip, all new profiles but most of them have never logged in! I thought I was the 'chosen one'..... How disappointing that I'm not  :'( lol!!

I like how he goes to the effort of emailing us..texting us (yes the same message!) assumes we're never heard of AW but doesnt think to check if we're already on it!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 28 June 2011, 01:04:08 pm
Ok someone left the door on the weirdo cage open! got these 2 on AW today: 


Quote
n th process of making a new adult website it's going to be called thisCUNTry.com the site isn't up and running yet as still filming but we are now looking for women in the Newcastle area. If your intrested please email me pictures will get a quicker reply hope to hear from you soon.

groups of females and female couples welcome

Hope to hear from you soon

And

Quote
Basically I'm looking to get up to some naughty shenanigans with a woman who enjoy ten inches of uncut cock, anything goes, you name it I'll enjoy doing it.

whatev you say goes, your the boss so I think we should see it as mutual pleasure instead of business.

I hope to hear from you soon.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 28 June 2011, 01:28:01 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 17 June 2011, 01:32:54 pm
Today's not a good day :(

"Hey bbe x I have 2 requests if you can do them I will pay the extra.

I would like to book you for a few hours and cum into a glass and when it gets full watch you drink it all but I would lime to have my dick in you.when you do.x

The other request I have an older gentelman friend and we like to tuck girls together he is 78 and I am 24 he wants you to.suck his cock and for him to be allowed to suck your tits and while he is doing that I want to fuck you xxx

If you CAn do.this we will pay the extra xxx

Thanks bbe x"

I don't do oral without, come in mouth or swallowing but yes I would like to drink a glass of spunk -_-


A COLD glass of spunk at that....*shudders*  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 28 June 2011, 10:31:49 pm
Quote from: MissArcaBunny on 28 June 2011, 01:04:08 pm
Ok someone left the door on the weirdo cage open! got these 2 on AW today: 


Quote
n th process of making a new adult website it's going to be called thisCUNTry.com the site isn't up and running yet as still filming but we are now looking for women in the Newcastle area. If your intrested please email me pictures will get a quicker reply hope to hear from you soon.

groups of females and female couples welcome

Hope to hear from you soon

And

Quote
Basically I'm looking to get up to some naughty shenanigans with a woman who enjoy ten inches of uncut cock, anything goes, you name it I'll enjoy doing it.

whatev you say goes, your the boss so I think we should see it as mutual pleasure instead of business.

I hope to hear from you soon.

CUNTry...lmfao   Exceelent. Let's all dash to sign up for that one!

And bet you're also eager to go for some mutual pleasure with a 10inch uncut cock!  Spoilt for choice today Miss Bunny aren't you? :-)

Well here's mine from today.......not quite so bad...Not sure if I were to do it while the train was stationary at the terminal, or if I was to get on further down the line so i traveled with him...lol.....but seeing as I only work evening and nights this doubly peed me off!!!   

"I am in London Thursday Morning near Victoria I have a fetish to be given a quicky Blow job on a train weather it me in my seat or in toilets is this something you would consider meeting to do

Thanks xxx"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ana30 on 29 June 2011, 12:22:18 am
Quote
Withheld number: Hi.  I'd like to see you; do you offer bareback?
Jodie Bareback anal sex?
Withheld number: Yes please
Jodie Sure, but I HAVE to tell you that I have full blown AIDS
Withheld number: Pardon?
Jodie I'm legally obliged to  inform you, as the last seven clients who had anal bareback sex with me, all died of AIDS caught from me
Withheld number: Are you taking the piss?
Jodie You started it.

Hey Jodie, you gotta watch out with jokes like these. You never know of this guy is going to freak out and post reviews on the web "cautioning" other punters. with your err...."full blown aids condition"  ??? 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 29 June 2011, 12:29:23 am
Got one on cam tonight...

HIM - "do u meet?"
ME - "yes, I do offer an escort service"
HIM - " I bet u have a MASSIVE FANNY!!!!!!!!!!!"

ME - *chucks him out*

bless.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 29 June 2011, 12:35:41 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 29 June 2011, 12:29:23 am
Got one on cam tonight...

HIM - "do u meet?"
ME - "yes, I do offer an escort service"
HIM - " I bet u have a MASSIVE FANNY!!!!!!!!!!!"

ME - *chucks him out*

bless.

charming! send me his username and I'll ban him lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ana30 on 29 June 2011, 12:38:40 am
My best ones:

1.

- "hi, do you offer hypnosis as part of your massage?"
- err...don't think so...
- "I want to quit smoking and get a massage too"
- I'm afraid I can help you with the last part but not the first  ;D

2.
- "Hi, I want an erotic massage but I'm shy and have an issue with nudity so I don't want to remove my clothes"
- Sorry  but not going to happen.

3.
- "Hi, I just found your phone number on my husbands cell phone. What type of business is this?"
- Errr... It's... a... flower store!
- "A flower store!?"
- Er...yes.
- OH MY GOD! Can you please check who my husband is sending flowers too?"
- I'm sorry but our computer system is down so I'm afraid I can't help you.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 29 June 2011, 01:01:13 am
Quote from: Ana30 on 29 June 2011, 12:38:40 am

- "Hi, I just found your phone number on my husbands cell phone. What type of business is this?"
- Errr... It's... a... flower store!
- "A flower store!?"
- Er...yes.
- OH MY GOD! Can you please check who my husband is sending flowers too?"
- I'm sorry but our computer system is down so I'm afraid I can't help you.

OMG!! Quick thinking, Batman!!  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 29 June 2011, 03:10:13 pm
Quote from: Ana30 on 29 June 2011, 12:22:18 am
Quote
Withheld number: Hi.  I'd like to see you; do you offer bareback?
Me: Bareback anal sex?
Withheld number: Yes please
Me: Sure, but I HAVE to tell you that I have full blown AIDS
Withheld number: Pardon?
Me: I'm legally obliged to  inform you, as the last seven clients who had anal bareback sex with me, all died of AIDS caught from me
Withheld number: Are you taking the piss?
Me: You started it.

Hey River, you gotta watch out with jokes like these. You never know of this guy is going to freak out and post reviews on the web "cautioning" other punters. with your err...."full blown aids condition"  ???

It's ok. I passed his details over to the CIA.
He's now on an extended stay in an Algerian interrogation centre.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 29 June 2011, 03:12:15 pm
Quote from: Ana30 on 29 June 2011, 12:38:40 am
- "Hi, I just found your phone number on my husbands cell phone. What type of business is this?"
- Errr... It's... a... flower store!
- "A flower store!?"
- Er...yes.
- OH MY GOD! Can you please check who my husband is sending flowers too?"
- I'm sorry but our computer system is down so I'm afraid I can't help you.

Brill, I love that!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 29 June 2011, 03:49:27 pm
Quote from: Ana30 on 29 June 2011, 12:38:40 am
2.
- "Hi, I want an erotic massage but I'm shy and have an issue with nudity so I don't want to remove my clothes"
- Sorry  but not going to happen.

Um, how would this work exactly??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 29 June 2011, 03:50:16 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 28 June 2011, 01:28:01 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 17 June 2011, 01:32:54 pm
Today's not a good day :(

"Hey bbe x I have 2 requests if you can do them I will pay the extra.

I would like to book you for a few hours and cum into a glass and when it gets full watch you drink it all but I would lime to have my dick in you.when you do.x

The other request I have an older gentelman friend and we like to tuck girls together he is 78 and I am 24 he wants you to.suck his cock and for him to be allowed to suck your tits and while he is doing that I want to fuck you xxx

If you CAn do.this we will pay the extra xxx

Thanks bbe x"

I don't do oral without, come in mouth or swallowing but yes I would like to drink a glass of spunk -_-


A COLD glass of spunk at that....*shudders*  :-X

I know  :'(
I died inside a little at the very thought of this
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ana30 on 29 June 2011, 04:06:14 pm
Quote
2.
- "Hi, I want an erotic massage but I'm shy and have an issue with nudity so I don't want to remove my clothes"
- Sorry  but not going to happen.

Um, how would this work exactly??

I wished I knew so I could add it to my "repertoire" of massages. Maybe it would be the begining of a "trend" (u never know). An alternative to the super messy nuru massage. Bodywork designed for the shy, for those with strong religious beliefs or people in a rush. I'm always looking for marketing ideas so maybe I should consider this one. Why not? It's the sex industry. Anything goes on.
   ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April Showers on 29 June 2011, 07:36:17 pm
Quote from: Ana30 on 29 June 2011, 04:06:14 pm
Quote
2.
- "Hi, I want an erotic massage but I'm shy and have an issue with nudity so I don't want to remove my clothes"
- Sorry  but not going to happen.

Um, how would this work exactly??

I wished I knew so I could add it to my "repertoire" of massages. Maybe it would be the begining of a "trend" (u never know). An alternative to the super messy nuru massage. Bodywork designed for the shy, for those with strong religious beliefs or people in a rush. I'm always looking for marketing ideas so maybe I should consider this one. Why not? It's the sex industry. Anything goes on.
   ::) ::)

Had a client in morcambe who put  on a dressingown over his clothes and lied on the bed and asked me to
massage him  and  he had paid for a hour and asked for a full service !
me would you like to get undressed ?
him no
me well you have no skin showing
Him well do it over my clothes
me ok
me right thats all done know
him ok
me well shall we get on with the full service you have asked for and paid for
him no  i dont think so i hardly know you i am not taking my clothes off for you or giving you sex unitl i know you properly
me oh i see ( i didnt )
him it will take ages
me well what do you want to do then
him nothing
me lost for words
him ill see you next week
and i saw him for months and still didnt do anything with him or see a piece of his body except his face

Your right in this industry any thing can and does happen lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 29 June 2011, 08:13:14 pm
Quote from: natalie b on 29 June 2011, 07:36:17 pm
and i saw him for months and still didnt do anything with him or see a piece of his body except his face

Your right in this industry any thing can and does happen lol

Now thats special!  :D

but you know what I hate about one's like that and I'll give an example: Used to have a regularly I saw weekly, very plain guy, liked what he like, minimal small talk etc I never took my clothes most of the time, he'd just be naked and I'd..you know relax him lol and this is how it always was, 15 minutes job doen go home. So I get the usual text from him "you available"? Actually I wasn't, I had a problem down below so wasnt taking bookings but of course why would that matter so of course I went.... "Can i lick you out" he asked!! bloody men!  ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 30 June 2011, 10:39:32 pm
probably the only place to put this really... Got booked for an overnight tonight. Hooray I thought! Business has been slow so I was very pleased I will say!

Everythings going fine until I arrive and he asks me how much it is.. its ?400. He says "tell you what I'll give you half now and we'll see how it goes"!

 >:(

You can imagine how I felt.. inside. I said fine, end of the day I wasn't going to turn down 2 hours work. The plan always was we'd go out for dinner. Funny too as he mentioned he knew nothing about me just seen my photo and number...should have read my site..

The dinner was timed almost to perfection, we walked out the restaurant 10 minutes too 2 hours being up and he stops a taxi to go back to the hotel. That's when I broke the bad news.. of course he thought he'd get 6 hours for ?200, cheeky bugger! And clearly had no intentions of paying me full. So instead he paid for a very expensive dinner and I went home  ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 30 June 2011, 10:47:41 pm
Quote from: Friday on 30 June 2011, 10:39:32 pm
And clearly had no intentions of paying me full. So instead he paid for a very expensive dinner and I went home  ;D

Nicely played!  ;D
R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 01 July 2011, 01:32:36 pm
More annoyance

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 01 July 2011, 07:48:10 pm
I got a text today that said:

"Ok. dla ciebie wszystko"

I figured out it's Polish and translates to

"Anything (or everything) for you"

Now since I don't claim anywhere on my profile to understand Polish how on earth does the guy who sent this expect to get a booking?

The mind boggles!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 04 July 2011, 02:01:42 pm
Good evening, I am writing to you on behalf of Our Lord in conjunction with my work for Him helping souls break free from this lifestyle either by necessity or by your own free will. I have helped many women understand what Our Lord teaches concerning this lifestyle and sin and the consequences Our Lord taught. I, once too lived a life in the flesh, so I ma able to speak freely and easily upon this subject and can relate many experiences with you.

If you truly are not interested in change or at least attempting then by all means continue and disregard this, I will leave Scripture on what Jesus has said concerning a life in the flesh so you don?t think I am personally judging you nor would I have to this lifestyle judges itself according to what Our Lord said.

So im not taking it from that standpoint but rather to direct, these are indeed dire times we are entering into the period Jesus warned us about in Matthew, Mark and Luke, very soon there will be no money literally, famines earthquakes, floods pestilences will continue all over and will culminate in the worlds greatest disaster even worse than the flood because of sin. I even know three days previous to when it will happen

So I prepare souls and take my own time out, there will be very few places that will survive. Im an avid expert on the the evil powers to be and can help explain if you are interested in change.

If you are a different religion or pagan and not interested disregard and stay that path. Im interested only in hearing from those who truly want change and the support necessary to do so. Again souls will live by faith alone in the near future think life as it was in the pilgrim days, the modern era will end.

Again Ive helped many in fact my main prayers and sufferings are for the young ladies in this field to recognize what they are really doing spiritually. If you do not know about Jesus that is fine as well we can discuss too.

There is urgency what you see on the nightly news in terms of all the disasters tornadoes and earthquakes are going to get worse including the worst world war in history, a revolution here in the west shortly, economic collapse, and again the worst calamity ever to ever hit humanity as a result of sin, this is a main sin/lifestyle that the Lord is greatly displeased with and can attest to with my past?

So know that I love you, praying for you and in this message hoping for a few more souls that the Lord will convict ?all those responding in jest will just be ignored, only those wanting more info/help

Love you , God Bless

mortal sin is sin that, unless forgiven and fully absolved, condemns a person to Hell after death. These sins are considered "mortal" because they constitute a rupture in a person's link to God's saving grace: the person's soul becomes "dead", not merely weakened. The phrase is used in First John 5.16-17:[1] "If you see your brother or sister committing what is not a mortal sin, you will ask, and God will give life to such a one - to those whose sin is not mortal. There is sin that is mortal; I do not say you should pray about that. All wrongdoing is sin, but there is sin that is not mortal." (NRSV)

a mortal sin, as distinct from a venial sin, must meet all of the following conditions at the same time:

1. Its subject must be a grave (or serious) matter.
2. It must be committed with full knowledge, both of the sin and of the gravity of the offense (no one is considered ignorant of the principles of the moral law, which are inborn as part of human knowledge, but these principles can be misunderstood in a particular context).
3. It must be committed with deliberate and complete consent, enough for it to have been a personal decision to commit the sin.



For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.

?1 Thessalonians 4:3-8



But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

?Galatians 5:16-21

GOOGLE THE THREE DAYS OF DARKNESS EMAIL ME IF YOUR LOOKING TO CHANGE GOD BLESS
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 04 July 2011, 02:06:35 pm
Wow Friday... Just wow!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 04 July 2011, 02:25:42 pm
OMG!!!!

See you in Hell Friday:-)

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 04 July 2011, 04:41:39 pm
Haha I got that one this morning too Friday :P Lucky us!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 04 July 2011, 05:49:18 pm
Yep I had that one too. I did reply saying as I was having so much fun I guess I would be going to hell ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 04 July 2011, 07:03:54 pm
hi im 18 please can i see you? would you do a student discount 4 me? ;) x

I'm still laughing!


Coty x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 04 July 2011, 08:44:42 pm
Quote from: Danielle_xx on 04 July 2011, 05:49:18 pm
Yep I had that one too. I did reply saying as I was having so much fun I guess I would be going to hell ;D

Oooh I am so glad I'm not the only one! lol  ;D

I didn't reply.. but i did google him on facebook! sadly no pics lol

I am off to email him no though..  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KirstyPink on 05 July 2011, 10:41:58 am
Friday,

Was it Harold Camping?  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 05 July 2011, 11:22:57 am
No lol so I did email him, rather bored I was last night...

It went like this:

Me: If you are looking for a booking you will have to be more specific...

Him: no my love this is to get you out of the ungodly lifestyle....if you stay this path my love you will continue to remain seperated from God, who is Jesus...ill be here if you decide you want to know more...love u praying for you

Me: lol I know you dont! Stop emailing girls! Hilarious as your email was what right do you have to assume we need "saved"? toddle on now, if you dont like what we do stop looking at naughty websites! I'm blockng now as others already have, I suggest you go and do something more usefull with your time!

Him: stay seperated from God love your a breath form hell

not that I could let him have the last word!

Me: Cant wait! No doubt you'll have plenty to answer for when your time comes, you lot always do so I'll see you there! kisses the Happy Whore

Him: no I work on behalf of Jesus you live in mortal sin seperated from God your certainly not happy empty shallow and dark within is the better descriptors but you can change u have free will....

got bored after that! lol  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 05 July 2011, 02:14:59 pm
Quote from: Friday on 05 July 2011, 11:22:57 am
Me: lol I know you dont! Stop emailing girls! Hilarious as your email was what right do you have to assume we need "saved"? toddle on now, if you dont like what we do stop looking at naughty websites! I'm blockng now as others already have, I suggest you go and do something more usefull with your time!

It's amusing how these odd religious/preachy types choose to spend their time, isn't it? "Oh sorry, God, I just need to spend a feeewww more hours looking through AW because there are soooo many sinners here for me to chat with - er, I mean, convert! Ooohh yeah, I'm gonna convert all over her face *grunt*" is how I imagine their mental processes going. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 05 July 2011, 02:22:24 pm
Quote from: Friday on 05 July 2011, 11:22:57 am
No lol so I did email him, rather bored I was last night...

It went like this:

Me: If you are looking for a booking you will have to be more specific...

I REALLY liked this as an opening reply to that total weirdoville email   ;D ;D  ;D FABULOUS
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 05 July 2011, 02:27:25 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 05 July 2011, 02:14:59 pm
Quote from: Friday on 05 July 2011, 11:22:57 am
Me: lol I know you dont! Stop emailing girls! Hilarious as your email was what right do you have to assume we need "saved"? toddle on now, if you dont like what we do stop looking at naughty websites! I'm blockng now as others already have, I suggest you go and do something more usefull with your time!

It's amusing how these odd religious/preachy types choose to spend their time, isn't it? "Oh sorry, God, I just need to spend a feeewww more hours looking through AW because there are soooo many sinners here for me to chat with - er, I mean, convert! Ooohh yeah, I'm gonna convert all over her face *grunt*" is how I imagine their mental processes going. ;D

LMFAO - It's like something out of Family Guy  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 05 July 2011, 02:38:35 pm
I wish this forum had a Facebook style 'LIKE' button :D

I'm not having a good week (Car terminally broken down and towed off the M6, cancelled week long tour of London, had to pay ?200 late cancellation for the Hotel, endless texts from clients who didnt get my messages about the trip being cancelled etc etc) but this thread is making me giggle non-stop!

R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 05 July 2011, 03:06:03 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 05 July 2011, 02:14:59 pm
It's amusing how these odd religious/preachy types choose to spend their time, isn't it? "Oh sorry, God, I just need to spend a feeewww more hours looking through AW because there are soooo many sinners here for me to chat with - er, I mean, convert! Ooohh yeah, I'm gonna convert all over her face *grunt*" is how I imagine their mental processes going. ;D

It makes me so mad! I work late and one sat morning at like 9am the door went and it was some old lady by herself wanting to talk about jesus! I, half asleep, went nuts especially as i live in a rough area! What a total waste of time, get out and do some volunteering or something more usefull than tryng too inflict your religeon on others!!  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Claudia Reina on 05 July 2011, 05:01:42 pm
Friday, that message is priceless!  ;D They have their own forum you know, where they talk about this and brag how many sinners have they converted recently and stuff like that. I read it once, they were talking about doing "service" in strip clubs and what kind of strategies they will use to convince the girls, etc., they shared stories about converted escorts...They give them gifts and Bibles and tell them that you're worth so much more than doing sex work... ::) I have no problem with religion I'm not an atheist myself but really, they should mind their own business.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tastylass on 05 July 2011, 06:26:50 pm
Quote from: Friday on 05 July 2011, 11:22:57 am
Him: no I work on behalf of Jesus you live in mortal sin seperated from God
You work on behalf of Jesus? I seem to remember that he spent a lot more time with women like me than with the self-righteous religious types of his day.
Quote
Him: you can change u have free will....
So what do you want me to change into? Any costume I already own is included in my hourly rate. And thanks for your offer of free will, but I charge for any will that I have and I'm not making exceptions even for a nice man like you.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 05 July 2011, 07:07:29 pm
Quote from: Claudia on 05 July 2011, 05:01:42 pm
They give them gifts...

Really? I prefer cash but I might make an exception for some hallmarked jewelry or a new car...  ;D If it was nice enough that would make me give up (for a week or two...) 

R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 05 July 2011, 07:47:43 pm
Quote from: Claudia on 05 July 2011, 05:01:42 pm
I have no problem with religion I'm not an atheist myself but really, they should mind their own business.

I am an atheist but have no problem with religeon. Im sure god understands that there is such a thing as bad PR! It also make me so mad that rather going out and doing some good in the world they're choosing to harass people who are just trying to earn a living.

the forum sounds hilarious though! I wonder how many go the opposite way and given in too temptation lol

Perhaps I should join and post the income i need not to do this... see if they're up helping me stop...  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KirstyPink on 06 July 2011, 12:48:02 am
Quote from: EmilyJones on 05 July 2011, 02:14:59 pm
Quote from: Friday on 05 July 2011, 11:22:57 am
Me: lol I know you dont! Stop emailing girls! Hilarious as your email was what right do you have to assume we need "saved"? toddle on now, if you dont like what we do stop looking at naughty websites! I'm blockng now as others already have, I suggest you go and do something more usefull with your time!

It's amusing how these odd religious/preachy types choose to spend their time, isn't it? "Oh sorry, God, I just need to spend a feeewww more hours looking through AW because there are soooo many sinners here for me to chat with - er, I mean, convert! Ooohh yeah, I'm gonna convert all over her face *grunt*" is how I imagine their mental processes going. ;D


 ;D Brilliant, that raised a much needed smile
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Claudia Reina on 06 July 2011, 01:34:21 pm
Quote from: Friday on 05 July 2011, 07:47:43 pm
Quote from: Claudia on 05 July 2011, 05:01:42 pm
I have no problem with religion I'm not an atheist myself but really, they should mind their own business.

I am an atheist but have no problem with religeon. Im sure god understands that there is such a thing as bad PR! It also make me so mad that rather going out and doing some good in the world they're choosing to harass people who are just trying to earn a living.

the forum sounds hilarious though! I wonder how many go the opposite way and given in too temptation lol

Perhaps I should join and post the income i need not to do this... see if they're up helping me stop...  ;D

Lol, yes, God has some really bad PR people out there ;D ;D And yes, the forum IS very amusing and entertaining, although a bit annoying if you read it for too long:D

Rooby, I think they won't give you a new car :( You can try though :D I think they give stockings and body lotions and books about religion...

And back to topic, I had a guy email me that he wants an appointment today, I emailed back that I take only advance bookings, 24 hours at least, so he should try the next day instead. He sent the next email next day, asking me for an appointment for that day of course, as the 24 hours have passed ;D ;D What are they thinking? ??? I bet he's really frustrated now that he can't seem to be able to book me ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelaManchester on 07 July 2011, 09:48:56 am
Email received: 'Hi Angela, are you free for an outcall tonight?'

Time email sent: Twelve minutes past midnight.

What IS it with these people??!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tastylass on 07 July 2011, 10:32:17 am
Quote from: AngelaManchester on 07 July 2011, 09:48:56 am
Email received: 'Hi Angela, are you free for an outcall tonight?'

Time email sent: Twelve minutes past midnight.

Idiot. Hmm, what do plumbers charge for an emergency late night call-out? Double or triple the normal rate with a three hour minimum?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 07 July 2011, 11:20:32 am
Quote from: AngelaManchester on 07 July 2011, 09:48:56 am
Email received: 'Hi Angela, are you free for an outcall tonight?'
Time email sent: Twelve minutes past midnight.
What IS it with these people??!

On the flip side
I got a call a while ago at one thirty in the morning.
Outcall request
I was comfy in bed so I quoted a silly amount.
He agreed, I arrived at 2am.
and he wanted to negotiate...Hummmm.
"So it's silly amount for an hour? and silly amount for every additional hour?"
I nod in agreement!
He walked into his kitchen, then back out
holding a pile of  money.

"Will you stay till 7am for a very silly amount of money?"
Um....that will be a "   yes"  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 07 July 2011, 01:01:25 pm
Anyone else had this tempting offer?

Hello Coty , you have a fantastic body and no way your in your 50s !! How do you fancy meeting a nice looking 36 year white Scottish guy get to know me and do some swinging together. I am very clean hold a good job in the London area. And to top it off i have a large thick piece of scottish steak between my legs which i am really good at using. Xx

John xx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 07 July 2011, 01:18:53 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 07 July 2011, 11:20:32 am
On the flip side
I got a call a while ago at one thirty in the morning.
Outcall request to Chingford {20 minute drive}
I was comfy in bed so I quoted ?300 for an hour.  {?50 above my rate for there coz of the time}
He agreed, I arrived at 2am.
and he wanted to negotiate...Hummmm.
"So it's ?300 for the hour? and ?300 for every additional hour?"
Jodie thinks 'no, it's "200 per subsequent hour' but I nod in agreement
He walked into his kitchen, then back out
holding a pile of  ?20's.

"Will you stay till 7am for ?1400?"
Um....that will be a "   yes"  ;D

Woo hoo!!! Nice one Jodie:-)

Coty x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 07 July 2011, 01:21:23 pm
Quote from: AngelaManchester on 07 July 2011, 09:48:56 am
Email received: 'Hi Angela, are you free for an outcall tonight?'

Time email sent: Twelve minutes past midnight.

What IS it with these people??!

They just don't think. Had one last night at 1.30am asking if I can be at Canary Wharf in the next 20 mins!
Teleportation not my strong point yet.

Coty x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 07 July 2011, 02:40:07 pm
Quote from: Coty on 07 July 2011, 01:21:23 pm
They just don't think. Had one last night at 1.30am asking if I can be at Canary Wharf in the next 20 mins!
Teleportation not my strong point yet.

The boys regularly expect me to spread wings and fly  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 07 July 2011, 05:59:17 pm
I had a call the other night asking me to to do an Outcall to a Hotel in London. When I pointed out that I was currently in Manchester (as stated on my website, on AW and every other place I advertised) he told me to 'Get in a cab and I'll pay for it when you arrive.'

He seemed quite irked that I wasn't prepared to pay ?400 up front in cab fares on the off chance that he would still be awake and horny when I arrived 5 hours later...

R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelaManchester on 07 July 2011, 06:45:51 pm
Quote from: Coty on 07 July 2011, 01:01:25 pm
i have a large thick piece of scottish steak between my legs which i am really good at using.

Bleuuurgh!

Coty, how could you resist?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 07 July 2011, 06:54:51 pm
He was offering you a shag and some haggis!! And you didn't take it?? *puke*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 07 July 2011, 10:55:37 pm
Quote from: AngelaManchester on 07 July 2011, 06:45:51 pm
Quote from: Coty on 07 July 2011, 01:01:25 pm
i have a large thick piece of scottish steak between my legs which i am really good at using.

Bleuuurgh!

Coty, how could you resist?!

LMAO...I don't know...I'm so hard on myself sometimes!


Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 07 July 2011, 10:56:54 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 07 July 2011, 06:54:51 pm
He was offering you a shag and some haggis!! And you didn't take it?? *puke*

I love haggis...if he'd been offering that he'd have stood more of a chance!!!! lmao

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 08 July 2011, 01:36:57 am
Quote from: Coty on 07 July 2011, 01:01:25 pm
Anyone else had this tempting offer?

Hello Coty , you have a fantastic body and no way your in your 50s !! How do you fancy meeting a nice looking 36 year white Scottish guy get to know me and do some swinging together. I am very clean hold a good job in the London area. And to top it off i have a large thick piece of scottish steak between my legs which i am really good at using. Xx

John xx



well how do you fancy going out for a bite to eat and drink with this nice looking Scottish guy then and we can have a good chat xx

John

He's not giving up without a fight for his freebie! LOL
Idiot!

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 08 July 2011, 01:45:42 am
OK getting bored now...time to delete and block!

Bet i can get you to chuckle if we met up as i do have a sense of humour xx. You never know what you have lost out in unless you try it. :-) xx

Coty
YAWNNNN xxx
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 09 July 2011, 05:24:31 pm
Funny how one little text can be so darn cheeky!

Text: You've been sent his by mobile numer *******. Their virgin movile is out of credit, so they'd love it if you could call them back

 ::) ::) ::)

And this delightful email

Hi, im looking at 1 hour for ?100 i live in Fife but im 15 is that cool with you ? cheers kyle.

and this delightfull telephone conversation

"Hello is that the advert of the internet?"  ???




Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 09 July 2011, 07:16:43 pm
Quote from: Friday on 09 July 2011, 05:24:31 pm
Funny how one little text can be so darn cheeky!

Text: You've been sent his by mobile numer *******. Their virgin movile is out of credit, so they'd love it if you could call them back

 ::) ::) ::)

And this delightful email

Hi, im looking at 1 hour for ?100 i live in Fife but im 15 is that cool with you ? cheers kyle.

and this delightfull telephone conversation

"Hello is that the advert of the internet?"  ???






Some one left the Asylum door open again in your area Friday? lmao

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 09 July 2011, 09:25:57 pm
"Hi honey,

After looking at your profile,i strongly belive that you need a personal website! I can do it for you and you can pay me either by cash or by sex. I charge just ?200 to do a very nice website!

Pls let me know!"

Er...? Perhaps not!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 10 July 2011, 07:56:29 pm
probably not quite a 'booking' but the guy who says 'Hello Mistress can you tie me up and humiliate me.'

...erm, yes I could but exactly how am I supposed to do that on webcam? Is there something I'm missing here?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 10 July 2011, 09:04:25 pm
Quote from: Kitana on 09 July 2011, 09:25:57 pm
"Hi honey,

After looking at your profile,i strongly belive that you need a personal website! I can do it for you and you can pay me either by cash or by sex. I charge just ?200 to do a very nice website!

Pls let me know!"

Er...? Perhaps not!


LMAO I had the same thing, was this from a AW member called 'will_kinky' by any chance??
x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelaManchester on 10 July 2011, 10:27:53 pm
Quote from: Kitana on 09 July 2011, 09:25:57 pm
"Hi honey,

After looking at your profile,i strongly belive that you need a personal website! I can do it for you and you can pay me either by cash or by sex. I charge just ?200 to do a very nice website!

Pls let me know!"

Er...? Perhaps not!

LOL!  Response: I strongly believe you need to f*** off!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 10 July 2011, 11:32:34 pm
This is from a regular!!!!! 

I'm going to be in London for 5 days, staying at a very upmarket hotel with spa and gym. I can get you your own key and you can use the room and facilities as you please and order food on room service. Will give you a nice break, as I know you're in need of one. (Hmmmm...me thinking this sounds bloody good!)
All I ask in return is when I'm back at night from a hard day of meetings you treat me to a massage, tlc and gfe.
No money to change hands. Let me know what you think.


Ok so 5days and nights on tap....hmmm gotta be a ?2000 at least....how much room service and spa treatments do you think I could get to make up to that amount!

Silly man knows I'm a full time carer to my adult son (hence him saying I need a break) but where exactly does he think I'm going to deposit my son while I have this amazing break!!!! 

GGGGGRRRRRRR.

Coty xxx


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ellie_e on 11 July 2011, 12:43:07 am
Quote from: Coty on 10 July 2011, 11:32:34 pm

Ok so 5days and nights on tap....hmmm gotta be a ?2000 at least....how much room service and spa treatments do you think I could get to make up to that amount!


Cheeky bugger! Depends on the Hotel, there are some that it would be remarkably easy to run up a ?2k bill in a few days!  I'd be tempted to go for a day, buy as much merchandise as I could lay my hands on in the hotel, and flog it on eBay - serve him right!  However, seeing as he's probably not paying for the hotel, you'd think that he could afford to pay for some sex!


My gems of the week

1) "Hey  i like you sexy sweet body for good fucking if you come in dubai please call me +971556302431 or mail me i want fuck you please dear call me"


2) Hi.My name is John. I am 23 years old and I am from US. Beside I work in a technology company.Can you come to New York on   July 22th ?I want to make an appointment with you for 3 days.Thank you.David

Great, a client who clearly lies about his nationality, age and even name...just my type!
The delete button gets a lot of work this week
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 11 July 2011, 12:51:09 am
Quote from: Dionne on 10 July 2011, 09:04:25 pm
Quote from: Kitana on 09 July 2011, 09:25:57 pm
"Hi honey,

After looking at your profile,i strongly belive that you need a personal website! I can do it for you and you can pay me either by cash or by sex. I charge just ?200 to do a very nice website!

Pls let me know!"

Er...? Perhaps not!


LMAO I had the same thing, was this from a AW member called 'will_kinky' by any chance??
x

Nope! Some douche named baba.esquire!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 11 July 2011, 01:05:17 am
Lmffao @ "hello my name is John.......thanks, david" oh dear hahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 11 July 2011, 01:49:31 am
Quote from: Evie on 11 July 2011, 12:43:07 am
[
2) Hi.My name is John. I am 23 years old and I am from US. Beside I work in a technology company.Can you come to New York on   July 22th ?I want to make an appointment with you for 3 days.Thank you.David


LMAO...Classic!!!!! I'm crying laughing at that one!

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 12 July 2011, 12:41:38 pm
I'm not sure who has been worse lately:

The Idiot:

Quote
hi there im a 24 yr old male and i am absolouteley throbbing for a fuck i have a 7 inch dick and its quite xe thick xx r u available 2day xx

And

Quote
send me your contact details plz gorjus xxx

The Obsessive who called me 48 52 times from his mobile and 16 20 times from his land line since 10am today

or The Gold Fish

Booked on 04/06 for 2pm today, no emails just the booking form.

Also booked my buddy for the same time, no mention of duo

Has been texting me for the past few days asking where I'm based, if I'm available for an hour at 12pm today.

I remind him he's already booked me and my buddy to which he replies "tell me more"

WTF?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 12 July 2011, 01:26:02 pm
Oh dear Lord Ms Bunny!!!!!! You really have the idiots coming out from under their stones today don't you?
HUGS!

Coty x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 12 July 2011, 01:31:43 pm
Quote from: Coty on 12 July 2011, 01:26:02 pm
Oh dear Lord Ms Bunny!!!!!! You really have the idiots coming out from under their stones today don't you?
HUGS!

Coty x

I want one of those big hammers to whack them back down with lol!

The Obsessive cannot understand how I could possibly be fully booked today and why I won't extend my hours to see him!

Quote
Are you sure they'll show? Are they regs? I'm just round the corner, I'll pay extra if you see me now!

Oooooh how ever can I turn him down now?

It could be that I'm PMS'ing, but guys do seem to be getting dumber - just got a text saying "sex? x"!

Dear men of Newcastle,

GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER!

Sincerely

MAB

XxX
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 12 July 2011, 01:33:02 pm
"Do you do anal?"
"No"
"Would you for extra money?"
"No"
*Few second silence*
"But I want anal"
"Then you should have read my website for you called me, I never have and never will offer anal as a service"
"*sulkenly*Ok thanks"

These guys!!!
I should have said I do anal for ?1mill on top of my hourly rate!! ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 12 July 2011, 01:42:41 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 12 July 2011, 01:33:02 pm
"Do you do anal?"
"No"
"Would you for extra money?"
"No"
*Few second silence*
"But I want anal"
"Then you should have read my website for you called me, I never have and never will offer anal as a service"
"*sulkenly*Ok thanks"

These guys!!!
I should have said I do anal for ?1mill on top of my hourly rate!! ::)

lol I wonder what it is that makes them believe that just because they want anal/an evening appt/ a booking right now etc they will get it even if we say no?

Do these people go into a fancy restaurant and kick off when they refuse to make them a donner kabab?

XxX
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tastylass on 12 July 2011, 03:27:44 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 12 July 2011, 01:33:02 pm
"Do you do anal?"
"No"
"Would you for extra money?"
"No"
*Few second silence*
"But I want anal"
"Then you should have read my website for you called me, I never have and never will offer anal as a service"
"*sulkenly*Ok thanks"

I'll bet Mummy never said no when he asked for sweeties and he's never quite got over it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: 1Lilly1 on 12 July 2011, 04:32:58 pm
Quote from: tastylass on 12 July 2011, 03:27:44 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 12 July 2011, 01:33:02 pm
"Do you do anal?"
"No"
"Would you for extra money?"
"No"
*Few second silence*
"But I want anal"
"Then you should have read my website for you called me, I never have and never will offer anal as a service"
"*sulkenly*Ok thanks"

I'll bet Mummy never said no when he asked for sweeties and he's never quite got over it.

Bet you're spot on there!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelaManchester on 12 July 2011, 07:46:16 pm
Quote from: Coty on 10 July 2011, 11:32:34 pm
No money to change hands.

LMAO!!  Cheeky b******

My favourite ones so far this week:

1. (Voicemail) 'Hello Angela. I want have sex with you. Ring me please for sex.  Goodbye.'

2. Him (no preamble): 'Hi, I want to book you for a few hours'.
     Me: 'Where?'
     Him: 'Manchester. I'm staying in a hotel'.
     Me: 'When for?'
     Him: 'Tomorrow, about 4pm'
     Me: 'Yes, I can visit you at that time'
     Him: 'Ok, what's your address?'
     Me: 'Why do you need that if I'm visiting you?'
     Him: 'Oh yeah.  Have you got a face pic?'
     Me: 'No, and my website already answers that question.'
     Him: 'Ok then, who do you look like?'
     Me: 'Me.'
     Him: 'Can I have your bank details?'
     Me: 'What for?'
     Him: 'So I can transfer the payment to you.'
     Me: 'You pay me in cash. And do you honestly think I'm going to give a complete stranger my bank  details?'
     Him: 'Do you squirt?'
     Me: *hangs up*

That's another minute of my life I won't get back  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 12 July 2011, 08:26:32 pm
-
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lorelei on 12 July 2011, 10:37:29 pm
Received by e-mail today from mr. condom fetish:

"I will be direct and straight to the point in that i have a used condom fetish.I will pay three pounds sterling for every filled used condom that you can provide me left in a quiet country location close to coventry.If you can tie them and freeze them so they remain fresh after use and drop them off discreetly when you have many,you will receive an envelope with the cash as payment for the amount left shortly afterwards in the same place.If you are interested in making money from something you would normally throw away,then please get in touch.If you are not interested in this suggestion,please do not reply and i will understand,thanks for taking the time to read this.This is a genuine offer."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 12 July 2011, 11:08:24 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 12 July 2011, 08:26:32 pm
"hi there

baby girl, you are sexy for real i love ya photos with you i am up for anything.

i would love to work with you for anything i am up for anything, please gve me a chance i will nt let you down, gve me a chance please, i am up for videos 2,

i can be ya bitch

i love suckin and im very good when it come to suck pussy and ass i will make u come for hours

i am new to this and i love travellingn im up for anything and sex is good for the mind

i will look after you and i will have ya back

my name is smith, i live in glasgow alone, im 23 years, good looking guy with a nice body cos i love working out in the gym.. you can come to my place n stay.. gve me a call on {number}  anytime"

 ;D     :o     ::)


Do you think he's up for anything by any chance?
What a complete tosser!

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 12 July 2011, 11:11:35 pm
Quote from: Alexandra_23 on 12 July 2011, 10:37:29 pm
Received by e-mail today from mr. condom fetish:

"I will be direct and straight to the point in that i have a used condom fetish.I will pay three pounds sterling for every filled used condom that you can provide me left in a quiet country location close to coventry.If you can tie them and freeze them so they remain fresh after use and drop them off discreetly when you have many,you will receive an envelope with the cash as payment for the amount left shortly afterwards in the same place.If you are interested in making money from something you would normally throw away,then please get in touch.If you are not interested in this suggestion,please do not reply and i will understand,thanks for taking the time to read this.This is a genuine offer."


Urgh....what a weirdo!
But one thing that came to mind straight away (and that's just coz I'm a bit weird I think!) was what if he used them to plant evidence. They are all someones dna......you could commit a crime and deposit the dna at the scene.
Ok ok, I watch too much tv....well work is dead! LOL

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 13 July 2011, 12:34:59 am
Haha! No more CSI for Coty!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 13 July 2011, 12:39:45 am
Text

"Hi there, I got your number from the web. I was wondering if your boobs are lactating?"

I mean ew..really..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 13 July 2011, 08:46:11 pm
Hey i'm 18 years old, please can i see you? Also can i bring you a gift
like perfume/frangrances or chocolates, what would u like? And do you
offer any student discounts, i can show u my ID.. xx


Yes I'll have a ?50 bottle of Coco Chanel and a huge box of Thorntons and I'll give you a ?5 student discount!

Prat!

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelaManchester on 13 July 2011, 11:06:21 pm
Text from unknown number: 'Hey huni, any chance you could squeeze me in?'

Another text from same number 10 mins later: '??'

1. It's stated all over my website that I don't respond to texts.
2. Even if I did, at least give me a bloody chance to respond!

 ::) ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Candy on 13 July 2011, 11:48:09 pm
Quote from: Alexandra_23 on 12 July 2011, 10:37:29 pm
Received by e-mail today from mr. condom fetish:

"I will be direct and straight to the point in that i have a used condom fetish.I will pay three pounds sterling for every filled used condom that you can provide me left in a quiet country location close to coventry.If you can tie them and freeze them so they remain fresh after use and drop them off discreetly when you have many,you will receive an envelope with the cash as payment for the amount left shortly afterwards in the same place.If you are interested in making money from something you would normally throw away,then please get in touch.If you are not interested in this suggestion,please do not reply and i will understand,thanks for taking the time to read this.This is a genuine offer."

Once I saw an article that in US they make for cosmetic industry a syntetic sperm cause it's rich in natural protein which with micro sounds is transported under the skin. Of course human sperm might be richer in these protein and cheaper to produce, I imagined these guy working for the lab and it's just 3$ per serving :D 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 15 July 2011, 09:09:57 am
I left my phone on last night and got a call about 9pm, just the normal "hi you available now?" stuff, I said nope sorry goodnight.

 But he was calling from a number starting 0203 which isn't a local number.

So I googled it and found out it's the general HM Government Home Office number for out going calls from 2 Marsham Street, London...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tastylass on 15 July 2011, 10:30:46 am
Quote from: MissArcaBunny on 15 July 2011, 09:09:57 am
I left my phone on last night and got a call about 9pm, just the normal "hi you available now?" stuff, I said nope sorry goodnight.

But he was calling from a number starting 0203 which isn't a local number.

So I googled it and found out it's the general HM Government Home Office number for out going calls from 2 Marsham Street, London...

That's horrifying! Disgusting!

Not that someone from the Home Office wants to visit a escort, of course, but that someone at the home office is stupid enough to call an escort from their work phone. This idiot might be working with the police, the border agency, responding to terrorism etc. and he isn't savvy enough to keep a cheap PAYG SIM in his wallet.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 15 July 2011, 10:41:00 am
Quote from: tastylass on 15 July 2011, 10:30:46 am
Quote from: MissArcaBunny on 15 July 2011, 09:09:57 am
I left my phone on last night and got a call about 9pm, just the normal "hi you available now?" stuff, I said nope sorry goodnight.

But he was calling from a number starting 0203 which isn't a local number.

So I googled it and found out it's the general HM Government Home Office number for out going calls from 2 Marsham Street, London...

That's horrifying! Disgusting!

Not that someone from the Home Office wants to visit a escort, of course, but that someone at the home office is stupid enough to call an escort from their work phone. This idiot might be working with the police, the border agency, responding to terrorism etc. and he isn't savvy enough to keep a cheap PAYG SIM in his wallet.

lol yes it is a little worrying, then again as he is calling from London asking for an out call that night when I'm in Newcastle made me think I might not be dealing with the brightest bulb lol

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 15 July 2011, 05:27:41 pm
Quote from: MissArcaBunny on 15 July 2011, 09:09:57 am
I left my phone on last night and got a call about 9pm, just the normal "hi you available now?" stuff, I said nope sorry goodnight.

 But he was calling from a number starting 0203 which isn't a local number.

So I googled it and found out it's the general HM Government Home Office number for out going calls from 2 Marsham Street, London...


OMG!!!!!! Speechless!

Coty x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tastylass on 15 July 2011, 07:58:05 pm
Quote from: MissArcaBunny on 15 July 2011, 10:41:00 am
Not that someone from the Home Office wants to visit a escort, of course, but that someone at the home office is stupid enough to call an escort from their work phone. This idiot might be working with the police, the border agency, responding to terrorism etc. and he isn't savvy enough to keep a cheap PAYG SIM in his wallet.

lol yes it is a little worrying, then again as he is calling from London asking for an out call that night when I'm in Newcastle made me think I might not be dealing with the brightest bulb lol
[/quote]

Oh dear. I hope it's one of the cleaners or a night guard. Nothing against cleaners or guards, but if there are going to be thickos working for the home office, I'd prefer it to be someone in the lowest possible position.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 15 July 2011, 08:31:11 pm
Wierd one..

14/07/11

Text 1 @ 01:47am..Hi there! I realise it is late and you have said not to text (no i didnt just generic AW message that no one usually reads). Just wondered on the off chance you were awake and up for a outcall in the west end? X

I cam till 2am and sometimes do go out late but it's always down to how I feel of course.  I would have ignored message as there was no way i was going out but thought it's polite enough I'll text back saying sorry, it is too late maybe another time..

which should have been fair enough I felt?.. nope

Text 2: Really Even for a quick 30 minutes (yes really seeing as my mins 1 hour - i ignored ::))

Text 3: Will pay for an hour of fun! :) You look amazing. (funny at that time my rate is min 1 hour + ?30  ::))

Note I only ever responded to the first text and at this point turn my phone off ::)

In the morning, when I put it back on again, I get:

Text 4: So no chance at all?? Like I said you look awesome!!! I would love to fuck you so much X

Text 5: ???? (dont you just hate those ones? )

Text 6: Sorry didnt mean to come on sexually strong there. Was just blown away by you profile. Like I said in the west end. Willing to pay fo an hour or more anyway X x (sexually stong?! wtf? lol)

Of course he just talked himself to the ignore list. Why i have added this guy is I am completely baffled by this:

Text 7 15/07/11: Hi sorry about the delay, Live in west end just near Ashton lane. Have noticed that your 5.11 though.. and im only a short ss! :)

At first I thought it must have be meant for someone else but that is my height?! (on a side note why do guys think this matters to us??). Guys are very odd  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 15 July 2011, 08:43:36 pm
Oh and this email

"Hello
I am an asian male and i realise the only way i could be of use to a british women is to offer to be a cleaner or somebody to wash their car.
I am on my way to a strip club and looking to ask women this do you think it is a good idea"

The crazy bus is def in town this week!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 15 July 2011, 09:03:36 pm
Quote from: Friday on 15 July 2011, 08:31:11 pm
Wierd one..

14/07/11

Text 1 @ 01:47am..Hi there! I realise it is late and you have said not to text (no i didnt just generic AW message that no one usually reads). Just wondered on the off chance you were awake and up for a outcall in the west end? X

I cam till 2am and sometimes do go out late but it's always down to how I feel of course.  I would have ignored message as there was no way i was going out but thought it's polite enough I'll text back saying sorry, it is too late maybe another time..

which should have been fair enough I felt?.. nope

Text 2: Really Even for a quick 30 minutes (yes really seeing as my mins 1 hour - i ignored ::))

Text 3: Will pay for an hour of fun! :) You look amazing. (funny at that time my rate is min 1 hour + ?30  ::))

Note I only ever responded to the first text and at this point turn my phone off ::)

In the morning, when I put it back on again, I get:

Text 4: So no chance at all?? Like I said you look awesome!!! I would love to fuck you so much X

Text 5: ???? (dont you just hate those ones? )

Text 6: Sorry didnt mean to come on sexually strong there. Was just blown away by you profile. Like I said in the west end. Willing to pay fo an hour or more anyway X x (sexually stong?! wtf? lol)

Of course he just talked himself to the ignore list. Why i have added this guy is I am completely baffled by this:

Text 7 15/07/11: Hi sorry about the delay, Live in west end just near Ashton lane. Have noticed that your 5.11 though.. and im only a short ss! :)

At first I thought it must have be meant for someone else but that is my height?! (on a side note why do guys think this matters to us??). Guys are very odd  ???

Think this guy put out a reverse booking last night on AW....at 3am......Just said...anyone awake, I'm horny, hotel in Marylebone! I looked at it at 2.30 and laughed...and 5 mins later there were 4 people bidding!!! Madness!

Coty xxx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 15 July 2011, 10:52:27 pm
Quote from: Friday on 15 July 2011, 08:31:11 pm
Text 7 15/07/11: Hi sorry about the delay, Live in west end just near Ashton lane. Have noticed that your 5.11 though.. and im only a short ss! :)

At first I thought it must have be meant for someone else but that is my height?! (on a side note why do guys think this matters to us??). Guys are very odd  ???

That IS odd! It's like he thought he had actually made a booking with all his texts and perhaps hadn't noticed that you'd long since stopped replying? Perhaps he's still sitting in his living room now waiting for you to turn up, completely mystified and wondering whether it's his height that put you off? ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 15 July 2011, 11:21:02 pm
Quote from: Coty on 15 July 2011, 09:03:36 pm
Think this guy put out a reverse booking last night on AW...

Unlikely same guy we're in Glasgow lol  ;D

Quote from: EmilyJones on 15 July 2011, 10:52:27 pm
That IS odd! It's like he thought he had actually made a booking with all his texts and perhaps hadn't noticed that you'd long since stopped replying? Perhaps he's still sitting in his living room now waiting for you to turn up, completely mystified and wondering whether it's his height that put you off? ;D

Even odder he has since texted me twice more going on about his height and is that a problem!?  ??? ??? ???

I only ever replied to the very first text saying no sorry too late, thats it lol

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 16 July 2011, 02:31:39 am
Quote from: Friday on 15 July 2011, 11:21:02 pm
Quote from: Coty on 15 July 2011, 09:03:36 pm
Think this guy put out a reverse booking last night on AW...

Unlikely same guy we're in Glasgow lol  ;D

Oh! lmao...good point. When you said West End I presumed London!

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 18 July 2011, 04:29:15 pm
message received on aw "Hi I am just wondering if you would like a cheap regular escort. I am very willing to go lower than my online price. Please message back your answer. Thanks Owen xx"

lmao my reply was "sorry i dont pay for sex"

to which he said "It's ok it's just business is really slow no money and you are someone I'd really like to have sex with "

oh well that case let me run and go get my purse! NOT
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 18 July 2011, 04:37:08 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 18 July 2011, 04:29:15 pm
message received on aw "Hi I am just wondering if you would like a cheap regular escort. I am very willing to go lower than my online price. Please message back your answer. Thanks Owen xx"

lmao my reply was "sorry i dont pay for sex"

to which he said "It's ok it's just business is really slow no money and you are someone I'd really like to have sex with "

oh well that case let me run and go get my purse! NOT

Twat...Business is really slow for a male escort...you don't say?

Coty. X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelaManchester on 18 July 2011, 04:59:23 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 18 July 2011, 04:29:15 pm
message received on aw "Hi I am just wondering if you would like a cheap regular escort. I am very willing to go lower than my online price. Please message back your answer. Thanks Owen xx"

lmao my reply was "sorry i dont pay for sex"

to which he said "It's ok it's just business is really slow no money and you are someone I'd really like to have sex with "

oh well that case let me run and go get my purse! NOT

Pmsl. That's a new one! xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Claudia Reina on 18 July 2011, 05:22:26 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 18 July 2011, 04:29:15 pm
message received on aw "Hi I am just wondering if you would like a cheap regular escort. I am very willing to go lower than my online price. Please message back your answer. Thanks Owen xx"

lmao my reply was "sorry i dont pay for sex"

to which he said "It's ok it's just business is really slow no money and you are someone I'd really like to have sex with "

oh well that case let me run and go get my purse! NOT

LOL! ;D ;D What an amazing offer! How could you refuse? ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 19 July 2011, 12:36:28 pm
Message on AW this morning,

'Hi, I am writing to ask you if you would be interested in personal training at your home or in a local park, I specialise in crossfit which is starting to take off in the UK and I would highly recommend it for achieving goals around strength and muscle toning, to feel good in yourself and to feel like you have properly accomplished something from exercise. Move away from complicated machines and isolated movements and try functional fitness which is better for you, natural and gives you a better workout. For more information or for a complimentary session please get in touch.'

Kind regards

Mr deluded

I think he may be somewhat confused? Maybye he thinks AW is a health and fitness forum? Then I went to his profile and there was the obligatory, 'Love length at the ready' picture so apparently not  :-X

Oh and I would love to know what happens at the end of my 'complimentary' session? Maybe a quick BJ to reward him for all his selfless, hard work? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 19 July 2011, 02:19:41 pm
Quote from: Simone on 19 July 2011, 12:36:28 pm
Oh and I would love to know what happens at the end of my 'complimentary' session? Maybe a quick BJ to reward him for all his selfless, hard work? ::)

I got that one, too! I thought maybe he intended his complimentary training session to involve exercising his clients' vaginas. ;D

I actually started writing out a reply to him asking whether he'd considered that if he wants a young, attractive woman to hang out alone with him in her home or in a park, he should try *not* scamming them via a site where his profile has pictures of him holding his willy in front of a mirror. But then I thought, erm, he is probably not really trying to run a serious business either in 'straight male escorting' or personal training and I so should leave him to his desperate attempts to get laid lest he get cross with me for trying to use my crazy, illogical ladybrain to help him. :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tastylass on 19 July 2011, 02:37:46 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 19 July 2011, 02:19:41 pm
I got that one, too! I thought maybe he intended his complimentary training session to involve exercising his clients' vaginas. ;D

Hmmm. Did he give the name J***** T***? Or the number 077760970**? Or the email jatait12**@h******.com?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 19 July 2011, 02:54:50 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 19 July 2011, 02:19:41 pm
Quote from: Simone on 19 July 2011, 12:36:28 pm
Oh and I would love to know what happens at the end of my 'complimentary' session? Maybe a quick BJ to reward him for all his selfless, hard work? ::)

I got that one, too! I thought maybe he intended his complimentary training session to involve exercising his clients' vaginas. ;D

I actually started writing out a reply to him asking whether he'd considered that if he wants a young, attractive woman to hang out alone with him in her home or in a park, he should try *not* scamming them via a site where his profile has pictures of him holding his willy in front of a mirror. But then I thought, erm, he is probably not really trying to run a serious business either in 'straight male escorting' or personal training and I so should leave him to his desperate attempts to get laid lest he get cross with me for trying to use my crazy, illogical ladybrain to help him. :P

Damm, if only I had known Emily! We could have arranged a nice little 'personal training' session with him in Regents Park. Then giggled to ourselves from behind a tree, whilst he stands there alone, getting looked at by puzzled squirrels and wondering why the sexee, loose ladies hadn't turned up ;D

I started typing a reply as well but like you just gave up after 5 seconds. Sometimes when they enrage me my fingers will almost start replying of their own free will. Then my brain catches up with me and I realise what a pointless waste of time it is. They probably sit at home, fondling themselves over the fact we have merely replied. Even if that reply is some basic variation on 'P**s off'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 19 July 2011, 02:57:47 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 19 July 2011, 02:19:41 pm
...lest he get cross with me for trying to use my crazy, illogical ladybrain to help him. :P

Smiles!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 19 July 2011, 03:44:02 pm
Quote from: tastylass on 19 July 2011, 02:37:46 pm
Hmmm. Did he give the name J***** T***? Or the number 077760970**? Or the email jatait12**@h******.com?

Yeah, JamesT***1924 was his AW username, I think. But you can easily tell he belongs in the timewaster/idiot pile cos his emails are full of nonsense and his profile is full of willy pics. :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 19 July 2011, 04:20:40 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 19 July 2011, 03:44:02 pm
you can easily tell he belongs in the timewaster/idiot pile cos his emails are full of nonsense and his profile is full of willy pics. :P

ha ha  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ellie_e on 19 July 2011, 08:10:45 pm
A classic one for me today -

".....Also, can I offer you gold instead of money which is of value 1000 pounds? Then I can spend a night with you."

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 19 July 2011, 08:38:40 pm
messge recieved on AW

Quote
hello dionne, how are you? i came accross ur profile and was wondering if you would like the services of a photographer?

im not that far from cardiff, i dont charge for my services and ask nothing in return, all photographs taken will be supplied to you at the end of shoot and a CD with edited copies of your pics will be suppled to you about 7-10 days after the shoot..

i understand that discretion is required and respect all wishes to keep your identity clear, thats why i also include a copy of photographs with your face removed or blurred out to help hide your identity.

i also have a home studio or i could bring my equipment to you no problem at all.

hope this is something you might be interested in.. hope to hear from you soon. matthew. x

Note the lack of grammar and text speak.  ::)

My reply
Quote
Hi Matthew, as lovely as it sounds to let a complete stranger take naked pictures of me, then supply said stranger with my address for him to send me a disk of pictures, I will have to pass.
When I require the services of a 'professional' photographer I'm sure google will happily help me find one who has a website, doesn't converse with potentional clients in text speak and doesn't scout for business on escorting websites.

Regards
Dionne
xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 19 July 2011, 09:18:32 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 19 July 2011, 03:44:02 pm
you can easily tell he belongs in the timewaster/idiot pile cos his emails are full of nonsense and his profile is full of willy pics. :P

Oh I just had a willy profile guy ask for a massage tonight...thought I recognized the grossness and found he's messaged me twice before from different profiles...he's a different age on each one! Hmmmm...PASS! I may be skint but rather starve Mr Willy guy!

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 21 July 2011, 09:04:44 am
Quote
00.53 21/07-Do you do late night appointments babe? x

This really annoyed me as it's from a reg who:

Knows I have a boyfriend - how does he imagine I explain leaving the house at 1am to return at 3am?

Lives out in the sticks and the last train to and from his village is 11pm - a taxi would cost well over half of what he'd want to pay for a booking and judging by his urgent need of me he's had too much to drink to give me a lift.

Classic thinking with penis, m'dears!

XxX
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelaManchester on 21 July 2011, 09:59:04 am
Quote from: Evie on 19 July 2011, 08:10:45 pm
".....Also, can I offer you gold instead of money which is of value 1000 pounds? Then I can spend a night with you."

LMAO!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 21 July 2011, 06:12:17 pm
*phone rings*
Me : Hello
Mr : Hello is this.... erm...*few seconds silence* I've seen your adultwork profile and I was wondering how far you were from the Holiday Inn?
Me : Sorry I have no idea where that is, I'm based in the * area of Gloucester
Mr : Oh sorry wrong number
*Hangs up*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lorelei on 21 July 2011, 09:54:48 pm
Timewaster or naive?

Message on AW:

"I was just like to say you look very beautiful and it would be great to meet you.
I have a bit of a fantasy to fulfil and I was wondering if you are able to help me fulfil it.
It?s always been a fantasy of mine to be with a woman who can ?milk? my cock to orgasm using her pussy muscles (for example her being on top and sitting still just using her muscles to make the guy cum).
I was wondering if you?re able to use this skill?"

My reply:

"I'm glad you like my pictures. About your fantasy, first of all I don't offer unprotected sex, if this is where you hint. Second I can't "make" anyone cum. If you reach orgasm or not and if you are able to live out your fantasy or not will depend on you as much if not even more than on the escort. "
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 21 July 2011, 10:09:38 pm
To be honest at this point..

Quote from: Alexandra_23 on 21 July 2011, 09:54:48 pm
"I was just like to say you look very beautiful and it would be great to meet you."

Id have gone in my head "Timewaster"  ::)

As for his fantasy..bloody hell you'd be there all day! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 23 July 2011, 01:34:22 pm
Just got an email with a list of questions, every single answer to which is on my profile.

But the email said "I see you offer X, Y and Z, how much would it be?

Bearing in mind my profile reads

I offer:

 X for ?30 per 15min

Y for ?40 per 15min

Z for ?50 per 15min

I fail to see how this can confuse him!

grrrrrr

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 23 July 2011, 04:56:34 pm
Quote from: MissArcaBunny on 23 July 2011, 01:34:22 pm
Just got an email with a list of questions, every single answer to which is on my profile.

But the email said "I see you offer X, Y and Z, how much would it be?

Bearing in mind my profile reads

I offer:

 X for ?30 per 15min

Y for ?40 per 15min

Z for ?50 per 15min

I fail to see how this can confuse him!

grrrrrr



I've just had another one asking almost the exact same thing! Would anyone mind taking a look at my AW profile for me, just to make sure I haven't typed it in Latin or Dothraki or something?

http://www.adultwork.com/ViewProfile.asp?UserID=1021473

it's mainly the services tab guys seem to have trouble with

cheers!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 23 July 2011, 04:57:23 pm
LOL @ dothraki! Too much game of thrones for you!! Hahaha xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 23 July 2011, 05:00:49 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 23 July 2011, 04:57:23 pm
LOL @ dothraki! Too much game of thrones for you!! Hahaha xx

lol just a little bit!

I finished the newest book last Friday and was gutted, something like 6 years of waiting and it takes me two days to get through   :(

But as long as Mr Martin doesn't pop his clogs before finishing the series I'm a happy bunny

XxX
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 23 July 2011, 05:38:39 pm
Got this from a 'male escort' this morning...

Quote
Hello Hunny,

I am looking for a girl, who is up for meet, who is just interested in fuckin suckin big cocks.

I jst wanna find a fuck buddy.

So if ur interested let me know

I jst wanna fuck a girl who has not paid for me. if u get me

Check my pics out.U will love my cock

 ::) ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kayci on 23 July 2011, 06:42:37 pm
One word...  Deluded! Kayci X x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kayci on 23 July 2011, 07:20:34 pm
Funny reverse booking...

NakedGymMan

I am looking for a ladie to work with around the southampton/portsmouth area as my old partner is not around anymore. i am getting some requests for this servise, would be a way of bringing a little more work each way, this would be an on going thing, not just a one off anyway any questions then plesae get in contact, thanks for looking.

Reported but has x10 bids )-:

Kayci X x


Kayci X x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelaManchester on 23 July 2011, 08:24:19 pm
Quote from: April on 23 July 2011, 05:38:39 pm
Got this from a 'male escort' this morning...

Quote
Hello Hunny,

I am looking for a girl, who is up for meet, who is just interested in fuckin suckin big cocks.

I jst wanna find a fuck buddy.

So if ur interested let me know

I jst wanna fuck a girl who has not paid for me. if u get me

Check my pics out.U will love my cock

 ::) ;D

Hee hee hee.  If he's ever been paid for it, I'm Emily Bishop!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 23 July 2011, 09:16:46 pm
Just saw this horrific Reverse Booking on AW a 10 hour booking in Glasgow for ?500 with a charming sounding guy with 0 feedback

Quote
Overnight booking in a glasgow hotel end of july, looking for a really dirty girl who likes it rough. Night to include plenty of nasty stuff such as spitting in your face, slapping your tits and cunt hard, making you gag hard as you deepthroat me, fisting, pissing and rough bareback sex including anal, also toys and maybe exhibisionism (sucking me off in hotel corridor late at night, down an alley, whatever i choose), must be up for anything i want to do to you.

Can you believe he has 9 bids!

I really hope he is just a fantasist
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 24 July 2011, 12:03:33 am
I love guys who email me saying - 'is size a problem? because im really big and worried you can' t handle it.'  ::) :D and then they don't turn up...*scratches head*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 24 July 2011, 09:01:54 am
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 24 July 2011, 12:03:33 am
I love guys who email me saying - 'is size a problem? because im really big and worried you can' t handle it.'  ::) :D and then they don't turn up...*scratches head*

It was soooooo big it could not make it out the door.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelaManchester on 24 July 2011, 01:00:39 pm
Quote from: MissArcaBunny on 23 July 2011, 09:16:46 pm
Just saw this horrific Reverse Booking on AW a 10 hour booking in Glasgow for ?500 with a charming sounding guy with 0 feedback

Quote
Overnight booking in a glasgow hotel end of july, looking for a really dirty girl who likes it rough. Night to include plenty of nasty stuff such as spitting in your face, slapping your tits and cunt hard, making you gag hard as you deepthroat me, fisting, pissing and rough bareback sex including anal, also toys and maybe exhibisionism (sucking me off in hotel corridor late at night, down an alley, whatever i choose), must be up for anything i want to do to you.

Can you believe he has 9 bids!

I really hope he is just a fantasist

Miss ArcaBunny, I'll fight you for him!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 24 July 2011, 01:55:30 pm
Quote from: AngelaManchester on 24 July 2011, 01:00:39 pm
Quote from: MissArcaBunny on 23 July 2011, 09:16:46 pm
Just saw this horrific Reverse Booking on AW a 10 hour booking in Glasgow for ?500 with a charming sounding guy with 0 feedback

Quote
Overnight booking in a glasgow hotel end of july, looking for a really dirty girl who likes it rough. Night to include plenty of nasty stuff such as spitting in your face, slapping your tits and cunt hard, making you gag hard as you deepthroat me, fisting, pissing and rough bareback sex including anal, also toys and maybe exhibisionism (sucking me off in hotel corridor late at night, down an alley, whatever i choose), must be up for anything i want to do to you.

Can you believe he has 9 bids!

I really hope he is just a fantasist

Miss ArcaBunny, I'll fight you for him!  ;D

Handbags at dawn? :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ElleCouture on 24 July 2011, 02:41:28 pm
This just gave me a good old giggle:

Hello Elle, I'm Colin, a Geordie guy now in London.
I enjoyed reading your profile, and I think you look great in your photos. Now I like to be different, so please tell me first, do you like to wear knee high boots? I love it when boots are worn with jeans, jodhpurs or leggings - do you ever wear your boots with them? And what sort of socks do you like to wear under your boots?! Believe it or not, I like it when long patterned socks, chunky slouch or even football socks are worn under knee high boots!
This is my big 'turn-on' (let me know what you think)...
I love to kiss a woman as she's wearing her boots, and as we're kissing, I like to slowly un-zip the boots, teasing her but arousing her, and revealing her socks (!) - then I like to tease a bit more .... leaving her wondering whether I'm going to take the boots off.
I hope that doesn't sound too crazy!!
I must tell you that I'm not looking for full sex - instead a couple of hours of passionate French kissing, caressing and massaging (yes, I'll give the massage!), etc., and I guarantee I can make you cum while you're still fully clothed - hope that sounds ok.
Col

Now where did I put my knee-high boots and chunky football socks in the house move....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 25 July 2011, 12:28:58 pm
I had that one! His emails to me started a bit more normal, he said he wanted to book to see me wearing the thigh high boots from my pictures, and he asked what I wore under them. I told him I usually just wore some comfy socks cos no one could see them anyway and that's when he launched into his chunky sock fantasy emails. I told him that if he wanted to book he could request I wear whatever he liked and he just kept sending me more and more emails asking me to describe my socks to him. Definitely a timewaster, I stopped replying pretty fast :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ellie_e on 25 July 2011, 01:50:59 pm
My favourite one of the week!

potential client: can you speak Arabic?
me: unfortunately not, I am only half Persian
potential client: oh, ok, I thought you were an arabic so approached you.  Do you eat pork? As engligh ladies eat pork I dont go near to them

Hookers that eat pork or drink alcohol - filthy and evil, don't go near them or you will be contaminated!!
Hookers that are Halal - thumbs up, Allah approves!

FML!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 25 July 2011, 03:24:04 pm
Guy booked through my AW profile at 12:40am for 1:ooam.. With no address and at the wrong rate.

I am actually on a private directcam call when he does this which he would have seen on my profile.. It was a mistress session so I was able to sneak a peek and suitably ignore this stupid booking...

10 minutes later (I am still in private) he books again the exact same booking so we're down to 10 minutes notice with no address and still the wrong rate! Genius! Didn't even waste my time emailing him to explain he's an idiot as he didnt feel the need to waste his time and read my profile ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 25 July 2011, 07:37:25 pm
Quote from: Evie on 25 July 2011, 01:50:59 pm
My favourite one of the week!

potential client: can you speak Arabic?
me: unfortunately not, I am only half Persian
potential client: oh, ok, I thought you were an arabic so approached you.  Do you eat pork? As engligh ladies eat pork I dont go near to them

Hookers that eat pork or drink alcohol - filthy and evil, don't go near them or you will be contaminated!!
Hookers that are Halal - thumbs up, Allah approves!

FML!

LMAO...I'm Muslim...well not any more but was and have a lot of Muslim clients and that is a question I'm often asked....since being out of Islam do I eat pork? It's ok if I drink, smoke, do everything going sexually.....but for Allah's sake don't eat the pork!!!!

I just lie and say I still don't eat pork, while chomping on my bacon butty! lmao

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 25 July 2011, 07:42:20 pm
Quote from: April on 23 July 2011, 05:38:39 pm
Got this from a 'male escort' this morning...

Quote
Hello Hunny,

I am looking for a girl, who is up for meet, who is just interested in fuckin suckin big cocks.

I jst wanna find a fuck buddy.

So if ur interested let me know

I jst wanna fuck a girl who has not paid for me. if u get me

Check my pics out.U will love my cock

 ::) ;D

Oh all the male escorts are coming out the woodwork....I got this one!

Hey sexy, How are you. I hope you are great.

I am Mark. A male escort on here. Just wanted to tell you that you look
amazing babes. How is business going?

If you need any help or tips or anything on here or even more clients - I
am more than happy to help

P.S: I think your rates are low hun for your looks. You are worth more
than that. x


Keep in touch.

Mark
xx

He's charging ?20 more an hour than I am! lmao
No wonder he thinks I'm too cheap!

Coty xxx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 25 July 2011, 09:15:41 pm
guy comes into my freechat claiming to have a ?2500 deal for me

Of course I said not interested, he swore he was serious and would "inbox me now"

(In the title he put ?2000 deal! I'd already lost ?500 oh noooo!  :o)

"here is the deal. i want you to stand as a partner to my friend so that he can be given a permanent stay here in the uk.

He is presently on a student visa studying at the university.he intended to open up a business for himself here but could not due to his visa restrictions(as international student are not allowed to run a business)

So he needs you in order to change his status. if u could be of help the reward will greater.cheers"

ha ha ha Even more hilarious as I am already married! Genius!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 25 July 2011, 09:26:49 pm
Quote from: Coty on 25 July 2011, 07:42:20 pm
If you need any help or tips or anything on here or even more clients - I
am more than happy to help

PMSL!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 25 July 2011, 09:50:39 pm
Quote from: Friday on 25 July 2011, 09:15:41 pm

Of course I said not interested, he swore he was serious and would "inbox me now"


People who use the word 'inbox' as a verb should be set on fire. Ditto 'party'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 25 July 2011, 09:53:03 pm
Quote from: amy on 25 July 2011, 09:50:39 pm
People who use the word 'inbox' as a verb should be set on fire. Ditto 'party'.

I agree.. along with those that ask if im "hot"  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 25 July 2011, 10:05:40 pm
Quote from: Friday on 25 July 2011, 09:53:03 pm
Quote from: amy on 25 July 2011, 09:50:39 pm
People who use the word 'inbox' as a verb should be set on fire. Ditto 'party'.

I agree.. along with those that ask if im "hot"  ::)

Or anyone who says "are you free?" to an escort

I tend to reply "No but I am reasonably priced"

XxX
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 25 July 2011, 10:22:41 pm
Quote from: MissArcaBunny on 25 July 2011, 10:05:40 pm
Or anyone who says "are you free?" to an escort

I tend to reply "No but I am reasonably priced"

XxX

ha ha

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 25 July 2011, 10:23:41 pm
I have an admirer called David

He got in touch with me a few times, wanting to take me out to dinner, (Cancelled 20mins before - his co-worker went into early labor and he had to cover her shift) meet for a coffee, (Cancelled an hour before - his dad had a heart attack) and to be his girl friend at an office party (Cancelled the day before - he broke his leg!).

He also booked me and my buddy for a 2 girl session and then I never heard from him again... I feared the worst, since I am obviously such a bad luck charm to him  ::)

And then:

Quote
How have you been my vision of utmost perfection. I realise that I haven't spoken to you in a while, but you still cause my heart and my cock to stir everytime I see a blonde I think of your amazing body, and gorgeous face. Would you be willing to come to my place and have a pajama party? I'm Goodlongnhard on adultwork, I'm Jack Daniels, my number is 078384195xx

Many thanks,

Jack

Quote
Hi Jack/David ;D
 
I'm very well thanks, yourself?

Hope your dad is feeling better too!
 
Sure a pj party sounds fun but I hope your leg is suitably recovered for us to have a good time, I'm available all week from 9am to 10pm.
 
My evening outcall rate is ?120 per hour within Newcastle and ?150 per hour to the rest of the North East. Discounts are available for bookings over 2 hours.
 
Hope to hear from you soon
 
J
 
XxX

Strangely enough he hasn't replied yet... unless the gods are angry with him for contacting me and sent a plague of locusts!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ellie_e on 25 July 2011, 11:51:32 pm
Quote from: Coty on 25 July 2011, 07:37:25 pm
Quote from: Evie on 25 July 2011, 01:50:59 pm
My favourite one of the week!

potential client: can you speak Arabic?
me: unfortunately not, I am only half Persian
potential client: oh, ok, I thought you were an arabic so approached you.  Do you eat pork? As engligh ladies eat pork I dont go near to them

Hookers that eat pork or drink alcohol - filthy and evil, don't go near them or you will be contaminated!!
Hookers that are Halal - thumbs up, Allah approves!

FML!

LMAO...I'm Muslim...well not any more but was and have a lot of Muslim clients and that is a question I'm often asked....since being out of Islam do I eat pork? It's ok if I drink, smoke, do everything going sexually.....but for Allah's sake don't eat the pork!!!!

I just lie and say I still don't eat pork, while chomping on my bacon butty! lmao

Coty xxx

I was tempted to say "don't worry darling, the only sausage I eat is cock!"...haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 26 July 2011, 11:39:07 am
Quote from: MissArcaBunny on 25 July 2011, 10:23:41 pm
I have an admirer called David

He got in touch with me a few times, wanting to take me out to dinner, (Cancelled 20mins before - his co-worker went into early labor and he had to cover her shift) meet for a coffee, (Cancelled an hour before - his dad had a heart attack) and to be his girl friend at an office party (Cancelled the day before - he broke his leg!).

He also booked me and my buddy for a 2 girl session and then I never heard from him again... I feared the worst, since I am obviously such a bad luck charm to him  ::)

And then:

Quote
How have you been my vision of utmost perfection. I realise that I haven't spoken to you in a while, but you still cause my heart and my cock to stir everytime I see a blonde I think of your amazing body, and gorgeous face. Would you be willing to come to my place and have a pajama party? I'm Goodlongnhard on adultwork, I'm Jack Daniels, my number is 078384195xx

Many thanks,

Jack

Quote
Hi Jack/David ;D
 
I'm very well thanks, yourself?

Hope your dad is feeling better too!
 
Sure a pj party sounds fun but I hope your leg is suitably recovered for us to have a good time, I'm available all week from 9am to 10pm.
 
My evening outcall rate is ?120 per hour within Newcastle and ?150 per hour to the rest of the North East. Discounts are available for bookings over 2 hours.
 
Hope to hear from you soon
 
J
 
XxX

I have a guy like this, used to constant text me silly questions, didnt hear from him for a few months then he started texting again. My first reply to him started 'Hi Dan' to which he replied 'why are you calling me Dan?'. I said because you've text me before asking me all of the same questions and your name came up next to this message' He then said 'Oh sorry, I didnt realise I'd message you before.
TWAT you obviously had no intention of booking me then or now so please just piss off!! (I didnt send that to him but I was very tempted!!

Strangely enough he hasn't replied yet... unless the gods are angry with him for contacting me and sent a plague of locusts!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 26 July 2011, 12:54:30 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 26 July 2011, 11:39:07 am

I have a guy like this, used to constant text me silly questions, didnt hear from him for a few months then he started texting again. My first reply to him started 'Hi Dan' to which he replied 'why are you calling me Dan?'. I said because you've text me before asking me all of the same questions and your name came up next to this message' He then said 'Oh sorry, I didnt realise I'd message you before.
TWAT you obviously had no intention of booking me then or now so please just piss off!! (I didnt send that to him but I was very tempted!!


Yeah I've had a lot of long text convos (70texts from one guy since Friday, thanks for counting HTC!)

I've said things like "I'm turning my phone off for bed now, but let me know when you would like to meet" and he just says "OK hun, sleep tight!"

I don't want to say "Sod off unless you're making a booking!" but I can't be bothered with all the texting.

Can you imagine calling a posh restaurant and speaking to the ma?tre d? -

"Hi your menu looks amazing!"
"Thank you sir, we have a reservation policy, would you like to make a reservation?"
"Yes! I hear your window tables have lovely views!"
"Yes sir, overlooking the river. We have a table available at 7.30 this evening"
"I wasn't looking for a table tonight. Do you still serve venison even though it's out of season?"
"No Sir, I'm afraid we don't, we do have a duck specialty however"
"Sounds great! Do you accept cheques?"
"No Sir, only cash"
"And do you add a tip? Or is that optional?"
"That's at the discretion of the diner sir, when would you like to make a reservation for?"
"I have to go, will call back later"
"... "

2 weeks later

"Hi! I would like a table on the roof for 4am, party of 16!"
*The ma?tre d? hangs up, sets fire to the phone and throws it out of the window*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 26 July 2011, 05:57:35 pm
Call received this morning "are you actually in London or on the outskirts?"
Me "I'm in Gloucester?!"
Him "oh ok, when are you coming back to London?"
Me "I've never working in London and dont intend to any time soon"
Him "oh" *hangs up*

Does the 'back' in "when are you coming back to London" imply that I have worked there at some point??



But I havent ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tastylass on 26 July 2011, 07:50:10 pm
Quote from: Friday on 25 July 2011, 09:15:41 pm
guy comes into my freechat claiming to have a ?2500 deal for me

Of course I said not interested, he swore he was serious and would "inbox me now"

(In the title he put ?2000 deal! I'd already lost ?500 oh noooo!  :o)

"here is the deal. i want you to stand as a partner to my friend so that he can be given a permanent stay here in the uk.

He is presently on a student visa studying at the university.he intended to open up a business for himself here but could not due to his visa restrictions(as international student are not allowed to run a business)

So he needs you in order to change his status. if u could be of help the reward will greater.cheers"

ha ha ha Even more hilarious as I am already married! Genius!

Actually, what is the going rate for sham marriages these days? Not for me, but it might be a good response to the occasional 'I need money now - I'll do anything' plea we here around these parts.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 27 July 2011, 01:26:04 pm
Oh no! Its this same guy from earlier but he's altered it a little...

"Hi honey,

After looking at your profile, i strongly belive that you need a personal website!

With the olympics games coming, set a standard for yourself, let your customers know that you serious in the business.

I can do it for you and you can pay me either by cash or by sex. I charge just ?200 to do a very nice website!

Pls let me know!"



Um... Olympics? What the...?  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: 1Lilly1 on 27 July 2011, 01:32:17 pm
Quote from: Kitana on 27 July 2011, 01:26:04 pm
Oh no! Its this same guy from earlier but he's altered it a little...

"Hi honey,

After looking at your profile, i strongly belive that you need a personal website!

With the olympics games coming, set a standard for yourself, let your customers know that you serious in the business.

I can do it for you and you can pay me either by cash or by sex. I charge just ?200 to do a very nice website!

Pls let me know!"



Um... Olympics? What the...?  ???

Hahaha! This tickled me  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 27 July 2011, 01:35:55 pm
My response to that had to be more creative than my last... So heres what i replied with...

"After looking at your profile, i strongly believe that you need a new hobby!

With the full moon coming, set a standard for yourself and let escorts know that you're serious in the business.

I can do it for you and you can pay me either by cash or by donating a few organs to Akbur, my local butcher. I charge just ?200 to do a very nice death certificate!

Pls let me know!"

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 27 July 2011, 01:47:32 pm
Quote from: Kitana on 27 July 2011, 01:35:55 pm
My response to that had to be more creative than my last... So heres what i replied with...

"After looking at your profile, i strongly believe that you need a new hobby!

With the full moon coming, set a standard for yourself and let escorts know that you're serious in the business.

I can do it for you and you can pay me either by cash or by donating a few organs to Akbur, my local butcher. I charge just ?200 to do a very nice death certificate!

Pls let me know!"

 ;D

ha ha thats awesome! I hope he emails me now so I can have a go! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 27 July 2011, 02:08:32 pm
Well it seems that he and his friend* Enjoy sending these out to multiple ladies! You'll get one!   ;)















*Quite possibly a victim of multiple personalities...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 27 July 2011, 03:18:46 pm
I received a text  ::) from a guy called Gary offering to list me on his 'agency' website called 'a hole in one' :-X

Apparently I'm exactly what he is looking for beautiful and elegant (he should rename his website www.flatterynevergetsmeanywhere.co.uk) and would it be ok "to upload your (note the spelling mistake) photos and details" onto his site. Also he is "over powered  ??? by clients to escorts"

I spent the next five minutes thinking myself lucky at being called "beautiful and elegant" which was very short lived when Abigail received the very same text  :'(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 27 July 2011, 03:20:46 pm
Quote from: Kitana on 27 July 2011, 01:35:55 pm
My response to that had to be more creative than my last... So heres what i replied with...

"After looking at your profile, i strongly believe that you need a new hobby!

With the full moon coming, set a standard for yourself and let escorts know that you're serious in the business.

I can do it for you and you can pay me either by cash or by donating a few organs to Akbur, my local butcher. I charge just ?200 to do a very nice death certificate!

Pls let me know!"

 ;D

HAHAHAHA!!!! thats soo funny!!!  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 27 July 2011, 03:36:40 pm
I had some one come into my webcamming chat room and ask if I needed him to design me a website....his profile tag was 'webdesigner'.  When I mentioned I thought he must be desperate touting for business by cruising webcamming chat rooms he seemed quite puzzled as to why I would think that way.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 27 July 2011, 04:31:57 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 27 July 2011, 03:36:40 pm
I had some one come into my webcamming chat room and ask if I needed him to design me a website....his profile tag was 'webdesigner'.  When I mentioned I thought he must be desperate touting for business by cruising webcamming chat rooms he seemed quite puzzled as to why I would think that way.

Well, I suppose if your number one hobby is wanking furiously into your keyboard, then being an "escort web designer" must be a dream job as it wouldn't really interrupt you from your main pastime. ;D

Honestly. If you're a furious-keyboard-wanker then that's fine, I'm happy for you and the money you spend on my fellow sex workers! But be a decent guy and pay your camgirls/PSOs/porn actors properly, don't try to shill them a crappy hideous website instead because you're a cheapskate and a loser. ::) Tsk tsk.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 28 July 2011, 12:22:40 am
Quote from: MissArcaBunny on 26 July 2011, 12:54:30 pm
Yeah I've had a lot of long text convos (70texts from one guy since Friday, thanks for counting HTC!)

I've said things like "I'm turning my phone off for bed now, but let me know when you would like to meet" and he just says "OK hun, sleep tight!"

I don't want to say "Sod off unless you're making a booking!" but I can't be bothered with all the texting.

Wait, what? Is there some reason that you keep replying politely to a timewaster? You shouldn't really respond even for a laugh because it only encourages them, but certainly not if you're not getting some sort of amusement out of it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 28 July 2011, 06:03:15 am
Quote from: Anika Mae on 28 July 2011, 12:22:40 am
Quote from: MissArcaBunny on 26 July 2011, 12:54:30 pm
Yeah I've had a lot of long text convos (70texts from one guy since Friday, thanks for counting HTC!)

I've said things like "I'm turning my phone off for bed now, but let me know when you would like to meet" and he just says "OK hun, sleep tight!"

I don't want to say "Sod off unless you're making a booking!" but I can't be bothered with all the texting.

Wait, what? Is there some reason that you keep replying politely to a timewaster? You shouldn't really respond even for a laugh because it only encourages them, but certainly not if you're not getting some sort of amusement out of it!

I don't respond to obvious time wasters like the one I got last night

Quote
00.05am
u still working?
horny cock here for ur horny pussy
gosforth area

But some guys call or text with questions and since my schedule is all over the place and I can't make solid bookings atm, I'm loathe to turn down a bit of rapport.

My texts are free, I have very few bookings at the moment and I make it clear to guys from the outset I have a life and won't be ping ponging emails back and forth forever.

If I think a booking isn't going to come from it I stop replying, but I would rather have a chat via text for a few days and mention my availability than text him out of the blue to tell him he can come see me today.

That being said, the guy in question has had to be cut loose as he committed the cardinal sin of saying "You sound really great, wish I'd pulled you in a bar instead of paying you..."

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 28 July 2011, 09:08:42 am
I had this one last night.

" Hi, I am married, 32, bisexual, slim, brown hair, blue eyes.  I am looking for someone to go to a bisexual party with me.  We would share a lot of men.  How much?, it would be 8pm to 1am"  Sounds like a plan!

Also, "I have seen your pics and you look well lush.  I am really into you. Fancy a free fuck? I'm totally skint but I think your sexy"". Please rush round! [I also updated the spelling]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 28 July 2011, 09:38:03 am
Some one said to me on directcam yesterday "my i see 3 sce tits out i go pvt" translations on a post card please.........
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelaManchester on 28 July 2011, 11:31:16 am
Quote from: Dionne on 28 July 2011, 09:38:03 am
Some one said to me on directcam yesterday "my i see 3 sce tits out i go pvt" translations on a post card please.........

I really can't stand the ones who can't even string a sentence together.  I wouldn't mind if it was a rarity, but every second person I get emailing me seems to be illiterate these days.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 28 July 2011, 01:10:27 pm
Ooooh ooooh anyone want to trade me for this charmer?

"Do you do massage and HR or OWO if so how much? And do you know why I can't view your pics on your website?"

"I'm not trained to massage but giving you a rub down would be no problem. It's ?XX per 15 mins. Not sure about the pics will look in to it"

"But I could have the full works with you for that price"

"Yes massage would come under the gfe"

"Just saw your pics, you're a big girl"

"..."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 28 July 2011, 01:59:14 pm
Damn, Miss ArcaBunny! Stop stealing all the good men!  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 28 July 2011, 02:01:12 pm
Quote from: Kitana on 28 July 2011, 01:59:14 pm
Damn, Miss ArcaBunny! Stop stealing all the good men!  :)

Oh I would if I could lol

XxX
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelaManchester on 28 July 2011, 03:10:58 pm
Had one yesterday: 'Will you do me for ?X [?30 less than I charge] but anal must be included'.

Flamin' cheek really doesn't cover it, does it?

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 28 July 2011, 08:23:36 pm
Got a text today saying

"Whats devils fingers?"

WTF? Am I google now? Or some kind of Oracle?

He says he's seen a review of me then mentions devil fingers but I honestly have no clue what he means

Anyone have any insight?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 28 July 2011, 08:43:38 pm
Blood sports with fingers??? Pmsl
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 28 July 2011, 08:47:05 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 28 July 2011, 08:43:38 pm
Blood sports with fingers??? Pmsl

lol like thumb wars to the death?

A quick search of google shows it's a kind of cactus, a kind of mushroom and a type of crab...

None of which I want involved in a booking thank you very much!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 28 July 2011, 08:47:39 pm
Lmffao!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 28 July 2011, 09:12:30 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 28 July 2011, 09:38:03 am
"my i see 3 sce tits out i go pvt" translations on a post card please.........

Translation: Excuse me fine lady but would you mind awfully showing to me you're beautiful bossom unclothed for precisely 3 seconds? If you do humour me in my request I may consider paying to see the rest...

Quote from: AngelaManchester on 28 July 2011, 11:31:16 am
I really can't stand the ones who can't even string a sentence together.  I wouldn't mind if it was a rarity, but every second person I get emailing me seems to be illiterate these days.

With doing cams and free chat I honestly cant believe some of the nonsense I have to read on a daily basis it's like talking to toddlers!! Which is why I find it so bloody ridiculous when they dare make comments about "non UK girls".  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 28 July 2011, 10:01:47 pm
Quote from: Friday on 28 July 2011, 09:12:30 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 28 July 2011, 09:38:03 am
"my i see 3 sce tits out i go pvt" translations on a post card please.........

Translation: Excuse me fine lady but would you mind awfully showing to me you're beautiful bossom unclothed for precisely 3 seconds? If you do humour me in my request I may consider paying to see the rest...

Quote from: AngelaManchester on 28 July 2011, 11:31:16 am
I really can't stand the ones who can't even string a sentence together.  I wouldn't mind if it was a rarity, but every second person I get emailing me seems to be illiterate these days.

With doing cams and free chat I honestly cant believe some of the nonsense I have to read on a daily basis it's like talking to toddlers!! Which is why I find it so bloody ridiculous when they dare make comments about "non UK girls".  ::)

HEAR HEAR!! It was like moron central on there today!! At least half wanted me to look at their "big hard cock" in freeview (I got to the point where I just was Copy/Pasting  my earlier "only in group or private" reply!!), three wanted to work with me as a duo "cos you is well sexy", and one pleasant chap asked if I could shit on him if he made a booking. When I pointed out that my profile states that I DON'T do hardsports, he said he would pay lots of money. I said "NO" and he said "can you shit on cam for me"...one last try "I DO NOT DO SHIT!!" to which he said "I'll pay you extra if you can come and shit on me and I'll lick your ass clean".

My KICK button has had more use today than in the last few weeks....is it a full moon ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 29 July 2011, 08:57:15 am
Quote from: Friday on 28 July 2011, 09:12:30 pm
With doing cams and free chat I honestly cant believe some of the nonsense I have to read on a daily basis it's like talking to toddlers!! Which is why I find it so bloody ridiculous when they dare make comments about "non UK girls".  ::)

You know, I had someone on the phone recently who, when I told him I wasn't available (because he seemed shouty and odd), demanded to know if I had any friends who'd see him but only English girls because he didn't want 'no Eastern Europeans' who were 'rude and unfriendly'.

I was pretty speechless and just hung up really quickly, but OMG. He was literally the rudest person I'd spoken to for ages and I don't think it was being from Eastern Europe that would have made any of his previous unfortunate prossies feel a little unfriendly towards him!

People are truly astoundingly ignorant sometimes, aren't they? :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 29 July 2011, 05:20:31 pm
Quote
Hi, would yr friend do sessions on her own, just for me to touch her & wank myself as she looks more the shape u go for (just my personal taste).

Thanks

Hmmm by this logic I might call Pizza Hut tonight to ask if Domino's delivery to my area... Idiot.

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 29 July 2011, 07:37:27 pm
Quote from: MissArcaBunny on 29 July 2011, 05:20:31 pm
Quote
Hi, would yr friend do sessions on her own, just for me to touch her & wank myself as she looks more the shape u go for (just my personal taste).

Thanks

Hmmm by this logic I might call Pizza Hut tonight to ask if Domino's delivery to my area... Idiot.

 ::)

Delightful! not!

I had one guy in private cam for a whole hour and it was going fine done my normal show and discussed possibly meeting as he was visiting Scotland soon. It was all going well until in the last 10 minutes he managed to basicly label me as a "fat goth but he likes my face and my personality so it's ok"  ::)  I am sooo glad he never contacted again thats for sure!!!  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 29 July 2011, 08:52:21 pm
Quote from: Friday on 29 July 2011, 07:37:27 pm
Quote from: MissArcaBunny on 29 July 2011, 05:20:31 pm
Quote
Hi, would yr friend do sessions on her own, just for me to touch her & wank myself as she looks more the shape u go for (just my personal taste).

Thanks

Hmmm by this logic I might call Pizza Hut tonight to ask if Domino's delivery to my area... Idiot.

 ::)

Delightful! not!

I had one guy in private cam for a whole hour and it was going fine done my normal show and discussed possibly meeting as he was visiting Scotland soon. It was all going well until in the last 10 minutes he managed to basicly label me as a "fat goth but he likes my face and my personality so it's ok"  ::)  I am sooo glad he never contacted again thats for sure!!!  >:(


Why do both of you get all the good men, huh? Damn...  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 30 July 2011, 12:01:03 am
oh...visitors from the twilight zone  ::)

have been camming but had switched over to skype so a guy could pay me direct, which he did but then for some weird reason we lost connection. my phone rings and even tho it's not the number I have listed for him I assume it IS him letting me know that force of nature/god/wife has interupted our call.

instead its some guy who just says 'are you on tonight?' i reply 'no' and hang up. (having never advertised as doing anything like late night or overnight bookings). then i get a text 'tomorrow?' followed by another text 'i will pay you ?3000 for tonight' ....yes OF COURSE YOU WILL.  ::) by another call, and another call, and another call.

I assume he is working his way through a list ...and a box of tissues.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 30 July 2011, 08:45:56 pm
Just had to share this... I have on my profile that I only do outcalls and it's posted three times in a row, in all caps. Got a call this afternoon from someone. When I get coldcalls I always start by explaining I don't do incalls, so as not to waste MY time... This guy says he'll get back to me... and he just did,

"Can we meet tonight I will book a room whr u want but do I have 2 pay u?"


classic...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 30 July 2011, 09:26:50 pm
Quote
I would love to do a car meet with you but I don't have a car can I still do one?

Oh yes matey you can do one all right!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 30 July 2011, 09:36:20 pm
Oh and almost forgot my new crazy stalker guy - after finding my number on a PN report and not bothering to look up my AW profile this guy sends me a dozen texts asking questions. Nothing too bad until -

29/07 13.53 - "Wat u wearin?"

29/07 13.54 "Go on babe"

29/07 13.57 "?" (I've black listed him by this point)

29/07 14.52 "what u saying"

29/07 18.55 "u there?"

29/07 21.51 "hi"

29/07 23.47 missed call

30/07 00.01 missed call

30/07 07.28 "hi babe"

30/07 08.33 "u awake?"

30/07 08.52 missed call

30/07 10.55 missed call

30/07 15.00 missed call

I don't mind so much because my blacklist app means my phone doesn't even flash ring or vibe when he calls and texts, I can just check the app to see if he's still at it. But considering one of his questions was my working hours (phone answered 8am to 5pm working 10am to 4pm Mon-Fri) I'm not sure what he thinks he will achieve calling me at 00.01? Just glad his ass-hattery isn't disturbing my sleep lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 30 July 2011, 10:18:56 pm
Quote from: MissArcaBunny on 30 July 2011, 09:26:50 pm
Quote
I would love to do a car meet with you but I don't have a car can I still do one?

Oh yes matey you can do one all right!

Thats amazing!  ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 30 July 2011, 10:20:54 pm
Quote from: Your Tera on 30 July 2011, 08:45:56 pm

"Can we meet tonight I will book a room whr u want but do I have 2 pay u?"


classic...

How do you respond to such a dumbarse question?!?   ???  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 30 July 2011, 10:37:37 pm
Quote from: Your Tera on 30 July 2011, 08:45:56 pm
When I get coldcalls I always start by explaining I don't do incalls, so as not to waste MY time...

Actually that's a good idea as this  is a big problem for me!!!  >:(

The stupid guys will even answer my questions like "where are you?" before going "do you not do incalls" bloody idiots!!!!

so thanks  :)

I had some idiot phone me this morning asking if i would go to Liverpool and when I said no he still felt the need to ask for more info about me! as if i was just going to chat away to him  ::)

Which is always annoying especially as every guy feels the need to start a phone conversation with "I got your number of your advert"...no shit sherlock!!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 30 July 2011, 11:06:09 pm
Quote from: Friday on 30 July 2011, 10:37:37 pm
Which is always annoying especially as every guy feels the need to start a phone conversation with "I got your number of your advert"...no shit sherlock!!  ::)

Based on some of the guys I hear from I'm amazed there are so many men out and about not wearing their underpants on their heads and hats on their feet! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 31 July 2011, 08:26:30 am
Quote from: Kitana on 30 July 2011, 10:20:54 pm
Quote from: Your Tera on 30 July 2011, 08:45:56 pm

"Can we meet tonight I will book a room whr u want but do I have 2 pay u?"


classic...

How do you respond to such a dumbarse question?!?   ???  ;D

Simply, you don't!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 31 July 2011, 10:49:09 am
I just said, "Yessirree. Perhaps you should look for an incall..."
I realized later that I should have told him the room was not actually FOR me, but for him... OR maybe, "Yes, a night on my own in a Travelodge would be divine in lieu of cold, hard cash. You really know how to treat a girl."

And, yes, they do jump right in, without reading and without listening. I just have a personal preference to not bring them here. Most of the time it's not a problem, but I do need to get better with the timewasters... I do get a lot of "on the fly" phone calls asking if I can be ready in 20 minutes, etc. I have also decided to not take bookings outside of AW unless they seem unusually nice, etc. And, I've also decided not to respond to cold-text messages. That has never done me any good.

I realize that this will limit my custom (and I can't really afford the limitation) but until I have a better sense of things...one cold-call and zero cold-texts have actually yielded a booking...

Alas. Happy sunny day, everyone!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 31 July 2011, 12:20:42 pm
Quote from: MissArcaBunny on 30 July 2011, 09:26:50 pm
Quote
I would love to do a car meet with you but I don't have a car can I still do one?

Oh yes matey you can do one all right!

HAHA! :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kimba on 31 July 2011, 12:40:48 pm
Chancer: ( brand new to me, therefore brave to the point of stupidity) ..So I am looking for one girl to see regularly - at least a couple of times a week. What sort of a discount could you give me for this?

Me: At least a couple of times a week you say? Really? Well that would be wonderful..Let's see, I could give you a 1/3rd discount on my normal rate!

Chancer: That's great, I'll book you for this afternoon right now..

Me: Ok...( takes full name/address details for Outcall ) Any special requests at all?

Chancer: Ooh yes! refers to my site and chooses a nice outfit for me to wear and confirms I will provide the list of services he desires.

Me: Absoulutely -can't wait to meet you then! S0.. at least two bookings per week you say.. at 1/3rd off.. all discount payments to be made 1 month in advance of course.. so that will be ?800 on my arrival today sweetie

The chancer exits stage left.. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 31 July 2011, 01:49:49 pm
A phone call..

Him - 'Are you the one who does anal?'
Me - 'No'
Him - 'Oh, then can you give me the name of the one who does?'
Me - 'Try Directory Enquiries'


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 31 July 2011, 01:57:57 pm
So, I responded to a text.

Received 24th July: Hi anika ! Come t london soon! What is yr best price fr 90 min in my hotel at oxf.str, massage and full-service, incl taxi!?? Thks fr answer, martin x x

Sent 24th July: For you, ?5000. xx

Received 24th July: ?? Why soo much?

Received 31st July: Hello anika! Come t london soon! What is yr best price fr 90 min in my hotel (at oxf.str) , massage and full-service, incl taxi!?? Thks fr answer, martin x x x, swiss


o.0
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 31 July 2011, 02:38:19 pm
Quote from: kimba on 31 July 2011, 12:40:48 pm
Me: Absoulutely -can't wait to meet you then! S0.. at least two bookings per week you say.. at 1/3rd off.. all discount payments to be made 1 month in advance of course.. so that will be ?800 on my arrival today sweetie

The chancer exits stage left.. ;D

Nice one. ;D I bet he'd been about to poo his pants in delirious anticipation of scamming you, too! Well done on sorting him out good and proper.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 31 July 2011, 07:56:53 pm
Just had a call...

"Im in the east end how much for the night?" (I love when they ask such questions especially when they start the call "im looking at your AW profile  ::))

I tell him the price...

"so does that include everything...?...kissing?...OWO..? drugs with that too???  :o :o :o

That swiftly ended that call!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 31 July 2011, 08:04:40 pm
Text received this week;

sex?

Also one phone call

"Is this Ruth?"
"Hi there"
"Think I've got a wrong number"

Duh?

I suppose he might have perchance really meant to phone another Ruth, but quite a coincindence.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 31 July 2011, 08:07:23 pm
Quote from: strawberry on 31 July 2011, 08:04:40 pm
Text received this week;

sex?



I get that every now and again!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: London on 31 July 2011, 08:50:01 pm
Quote from: Anika Mae on 31 July 2011, 01:57:57 pm
So, I responded to a text.

Received 24th July: Hi anika ! Come t london soon! What is yr best price fr 90 min in my hotel at oxf.str, massage and full-service, incl taxi!?? Thks fr answer, martin x x

Sent 24th July: For you, £5000. xx

Received 24th July: ?? Why soo much?

Received 31st July: Hello anika! Come t london soon! What is yr best price fr 90 min in my hotel (at oxf.str) , massage and full-service, incl taxi!?? Thks fr answer, martin x x x, swiss


o.0

I have been getting this same text for weeks urgh! wish he would give up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kimba on 31 July 2011, 09:47:58 pm


Nice one. ;D I bet he'd been about to poo his pants in delirious anticipation of scamming you, too! Well done on sorting him out good and proper.)
[/quote]

It was only after I posted here that I realised August is a 31 day/5& 1/2 week month and, as I am available pretty much 7 days per week, at two bookings ( " at least" remember :D ) per week, I should have quoted him ?950- ?1,000 minimum.

He missed the bargain of a lifetime there, the  barnpot!   ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 01 August 2011, 10:44:48 am
And, I bid on a reverse booking for ?120 for an hour. He very generously wrote  me an email offering me ?150 for an overnight!! At the Holiday Inn in Woking!!! Wow. Can't believe I passed that opportunity up... It's always been my dream to spend an evening at a Holiday Inn on someone else's dime.

These posts from everyone are doing my soul a treat...giggles, galore!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 04 August 2011, 01:22:42 pm
Call received "Hello, is that the escort?"
Me "THE escort?" (not to be confused with 'a' escort or 'some' escort)
Him "yes"
Me "THE escort???"
Him *gettin irate* "yes, is this her?"
Me "Um do you mean Dionne?"
Him "Whats that?"

*sigh*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 04 August 2011, 04:23:48 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 04 August 2011, 01:22:42 pm
Call received "Hello, is that the escort?"
Me "THE escort?" (not to be confused with 'a' escort or 'some' escort)
Him "yes"
Me "THE escort???"
Him *gettin irate* "yes, is this her?"
Me "Um do you mean Dionne?"
Him "Whats that?"

*sigh*

Wow!  Just wow! Lol!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 04 August 2011, 06:25:10 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 04 August 2011, 01:22:42 pm
Call received "Hello, is that the escort?"
Me "THE escort?" (not to be confused with 'a' escort or 'some' escort)
Him "yes"
Me "THE escort???"
Him *gettin irate* "yes, is this her?"
Me "Um do you mean Dionne?"
Him "Whats that?"

*sigh*

Jesus wept!  And grrrrr. And arggghhhh! lmao
Man don't we have a lot of crap to put up with?

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 04 August 2011, 07:03:40 pm
Honorable mention for the ones who ring up, want to know what time you can get to them, but waffle about tell you where they actually are...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 04 August 2011, 07:13:11 pm
Quote from: Your Tera on 04 August 2011, 07:03:40 pm
Honorable mention for the ones who ring up, want to know what time you can get to them, but waffle about tell you where they actually are...

I've had a guy trying to book me for a whole week now...daily...but refuses to even give me his postcode...only the street name and first part of the postcode and refuses to make a booking on AW....and always calls saying 'come now' .....I'm not going to answer any more. Bloody idiot! Says when I get to the street he'll come meet me......yeah right, like I'm that stupid!

Coty x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kimba on 04 August 2011, 10:25:17 pm
I am having an evening of these berks as I type  >:(

Everywhere - but everywhere!!-does it say alongside my stats to; PLEASE allow at least 2 hours notice when booking..

I get caller after caller asking how soon can I get to them? I work it out, allowing myself just 15 minutes to get completely ready- often specific to their requests - a'la Basque, suzzies etc ( I mean who can sit around in those all night unless vital?  :P ), check out my route, check their details match up, lock up house, set up sat-nav, blue-tooth etc and drive to them and it is often half the estimated arrival time displayed on my site..and they still moan that it is too long to wait!

I don't want to visit people with that attitude anyway. I guess that they either booked someone else before me who has let them down last minute - so I aint being a sloppy second in under an hour for ya Pal!  ( childish I know! ;D ) or, they are so desperate to spill their seed into someone/anyone they are physically unable to be patient and polite to achieve this?  :-\

Either way, they get short shrift and I don't consider them a loss as I wouldn't actually enjoy myself knowing I have been compromised into rushing to their* aid*  .

 Also, some guys  *get off* on ALMOST making a booking..
 Oh, they would SO have booked me if I lived closer/was quicker/did incalls/took it up the jacksie on a 15 minute/had a pal to work with/did 2 guys on a first booking/was taller/shorter/blonder/younger/older/real boobs/fake boobs/had a scouse accent etc, etc, etc  ;D ( then they wank furiously to your pics as you seeth into your cadburys 'Hilight..)

A decent booking always comes along later that night or the following day to prove I was right  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 05 August 2011, 08:39:55 pm
This guy has made several attempts to book me for a quickie in his office.

 One day I agree to meet him as I was staying in a hotel opposite the building he says his office is in. In my haste I forgot to get his mobile number, so I'm waiting outside his building for 10mins after the agreed meeting time in stockings, sussies, fuck me shoes and a short dress. No sign of the punter,

So I sent him a polite email telling him if he wants to book me he will need to provide full address details and mobile number.

Several emails are exchanged, time and place sorted but still no details, he side steps every request I make until I get pissed off and send him a very blunt "Get lost" message.

Today I got this

Quote
Hey, Want to do a quick bj in my office this evening?
Regards
Dave

My response:

Quote
Hmmmm

Let me see...

Go rushing off to meet you in your mystery office and get stood up AGAIN as you have made it clear you do not want to give me your mobile number or address

Or

Stay home in my PJs, painting my toenails and finish my new book...

You do the math, idiot.

Seems fair, no?

UPDATE!

Quote
I'm genuinely working late and it was a genuine request. I'm sorry I was chicken before. How long will it take your nails to dry?
Dave

Quote
That depends on how quickly you can put ?100 on your AW account and transfer it to me.

Quote
   
well I'm just after a nosh and I don't have any cash on account would just be like 50 in your hand

Quote
As you have wasted my time before I would need ?50 off you before I leave the house.

And as you stood me up last time, causing me to turn down a client who would have paid me for my time I think it's only fair you reimburse me for that as well.

lol this is the most fun I've had all week!

Why do guys try and make bookings with girls they have pissed off?

FURTHER UPDATE! WOOOOOO!

Quote
Well I can't I'm afrad.
I'd like you to cum and blow me at my desk and I'll give you 50.
Good deal and it'll be fun ;)

Quote
And I would like you to pay me for the time you've already wasted, but I guess we can't have everything now, can we?

Quote
   
How long's it gona take you?
x

If only he would actually show up to a booking so I could bite his balls off lol!

FINAL UPDATE IN THIS SAGA!

Quote
Awww come on if it all goes swimmingly we will be repeat business partners :)

Quote
   
Well for it to go swimmingly you would need to:

A) Give me the details of your "office" and a contact number now

B) Show up

C) Pay me ?100

D) Trust that after all your aggro and attitude I don't use my teeth

:)

Quote
Don't be like that would you really use your teeth? I don't have attitude :(

Notice the lack of details? lol

Quote
Well it looks like I'm finishing my book then.

I'm bored with you now, so I'm blocking you.

Have a terrific night!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 05 August 2011, 11:52:50 pm
What a complete tosser. GRRRRRRR.
Don't know why that really wound me up.

HUGS

Coty xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sara1980 on 06 August 2011, 12:10:31 am

Please let me be the only one he has contacted!!

HI, Im Trevor Seemann and i am on vacation..When i looked you up on site,i loved your profile so i  decided to contact you..I am on 2 weeks vacation and would like to know if you  can spend  2 days with me..Please let me know how much it will cost me and what are the terms...Im looking forward to read back from you asap..You can also check me up on facebook Tblahblah...  Cheers

Regards
Trevor

Hi Trevor

When exactly were you thinking of?

Sara xxx (Awaiting with baited breath!)

Hey babe,thanks for writing back..I looked you up on adultfinder web , Like i said previously, i will handle your flight and trip expense so you got nothing to worry about,all i need is your good company and services..Im willing to pay you ?2000 for 2 days, hope we are cool with that ? My Details are below:

Name: Trevor Seemann
Nick Name: Trev
Status: Divorced
Occupation: Gynecologist/Self employed/Little Saint Orphanage
Age: 43
Hair Color: Black
Height: 6.2ft
Phone: 9798718498
Ethnicity: Italian/American Mixed
Residential:San Diego,California
Location of Vacation/Visiting: Amsterdam, Netherlands
Date of appointment:Aug 25  to Aug 28
Nearest Airport: The Hague Airport Rotterdam Amsterdam, Netherlands
Hotel: Golden Tulip Rotterdam Airport Hotel
Best Way to get in touch: Email,Phone,Fax

N:B I will use condoms because i cant have unprotected sex more so if you don't like  kissing cumming in the mouth or face, i'm okay with that just be ready to make me feel good..

I will pay you half by check and the rest By cash upon arrival so Get back to me with your location,full name,phone number,address and zip code for payment issuance.....Write me back asap and let me know what you feel...I will call  you asap...Cheers

Regards
Trevor

I feel so lucky lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 06 August 2011, 12:24:13 am
Damn! Why didnt he just go the full hog and ask for your bank account number, sort code, passport number and house keys too? Jeez!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kellykisses on 06 August 2011, 09:50:01 am
I had that one too.. Only I was lucky enough to be offered ?2,000 for three days!  :'(
Of all the things that annoy me with these time wasters it's the fact they think they can tell you what you will earn, if I liked to work like that I would be employed and do a 'normal' job.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sara1980 on 06 August 2011, 10:32:20 am
 I'm chuckling at his occupation.......

Occupation: Gynecologist/Self employed/Little Saint Orphanage  ;D

The thing is - before I found this place I would probably have fallen for it!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 06 August 2011, 11:00:43 am
Quote from: sara1980 on 06 August 2011, 10:32:20 am
I'm chuckling at his occupation.......

Occupation: Gynecologist/Self employed/Little Saint Orphanage  ;D

That's absolutely hilariously weird, isn't it? ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 06 August 2011, 11:09:08 am
Quote from: sara1980 on 06 August 2011, 12:10:31 am
Occupation: Gynecologist/Self employed/Little Saint Orphanage

I find that bit really creepy and disturbing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 06 August 2011, 01:06:31 pm
I'm lolling at his name... if he's legit I'm a terrible person

But Seemann

Rofl

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelaManchester on 06 August 2011, 01:41:21 pm
Quote from: MissArcaBunny on 06 August 2011, 01:06:31 pm
I'm lolling at his name... if he's legit I'm a terrible person

But Seemann

Rofl

 ;D

I know!  You couldn't make it up (well, er, actually, you could  ;D)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 06 August 2011, 06:24:22 pm
Quote
Hi happy to take a long booking.. Canu arrange a little coke to help relax.

I'm not a druggie or anything :-) just a professional guy in his 30,s looking to relax..

Let me know babe

And I'm not a prostitute, just a girl who exchanges sexual favours for money...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 06 August 2011, 11:53:55 pm
"I am a Glasgow based photographer/videographer. I am looking for a sexy female for photoand vieo shoots, lots of work available and all PAID jobs. If your interested please get back to me with your details and email address. I hope you reply and look forward to hearing from you. Regards Andy x"

what I always find hilarious about these emails is:

1) I would be classed as a BBW, not that I believe he has lots of work available but if he did I doubt Id fit the bill (he'd have mentioned otherwise. (Also a professional would have probably been more job specific - i think you'd be right for such and such)

2) Of course when they claim this you click on there profile and suprise suprise there photos are shit!!! Seriously dont sell yourself as a photographer when my own photos are better  ::) ::) ::)

3) "PAID jobs" wow! Im so amazed cause I would have done it for free!  ::)

Look out Scottish ladies this offer will be copy and pasted to you soon  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 08 August 2011, 07:14:02 pm
Subject:    hi april

i just had to say hi after seeing your amazing photos and profile :-)

through the ages,
the conventions of beauty may change,
but certain attributes are timeless,
kindness,pretty face,gorgeous figure,
you possess them all in abundance

xx paul

That's all great, but I have no idea what he wants ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 08 August 2011, 07:21:25 pm
Quote from: April on 08 August 2011, 07:14:02 pm
Subject:    hi april

i just had to say hi after seeing your amazing photos and profile :-)

through the ages,
the conventions of beauty may change,
but certain attributes are timeless,
kindness,pretty face,gorgeous figure,
you possess them all in abundance

xx paul

That's all great, but I have no idea what he wants ???

OMG.......this guy is a dick! I had that same 'poem' a few weeks back and he's done nothing but text me since. Tries to act like a poet but just wants a freebie by being charming! Beware!



Tiny Edit by Emily: Fixed quotes.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kitty_of_Herts on 09 August 2011, 12:44:31 am
Quote from: Coty on 08 August 2011, 07:21:25 pm
Quote from: April on 08 August 2011, 07:14:02 pm
through the ages,
the conventions of beauty may change,
but certain attributes are timeless,
kindness,pretty face,gorgeous figure,
you possess them all in abundance
I had that same 'poem' a few weeks back and he's done nothing but text me since.

Me too. Sent a reply of "ummm, thanks" and got this not at all weird reply:
Quote
      
thank you for taking the time to reply to my email..it was most appreciated..it put a big smile on my face as you can imagine....your photos in your gallery are so sexxxy...mmmmm...have a good day and stay well..

Your beauty and charm is comparable to the stars,
its pure and clear,and it will shine on forever,
not to be dimmed or thwarted by time,
just like a pristine,flawless,diamond....x paul

I'm scared that one day I'll be reading my AW mail and the wind'll change mid eye-roll  ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 09 August 2011, 02:55:50 am
Quote from: Kitty_of_Herts on 09 August 2011, 12:44:31 am

I'm scared that one day I'll be reading my AW mail and the wind'll change mid eye-roll  ::)


Haha  ;D I just deleted it without responding so sadly no more poetry for me :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 09 August 2011, 03:29:57 pm
I'm sure I've seen someone else post a similar conversation.

Me: Hello this is Friday
Him: Is this Friday?
Me Yes
Him: Sorry wrong number

 ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: April on 09 August 2011, 10:21:33 pm
Just got this email

Quote
hey baby how u doing , I'm bored y not send me pictures of your gorgeous self to entertain me.

Oh okay, let me just get my camera  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 09 August 2011, 10:55:29 pm
Quote from: April on 09 August 2011, 10:21:33 pm
Just got this email

Quote
hey baby how u doing , I'm bored y not send me pictures of your gorgeous self to entertain me.

Oh okay, let me just get my camera  ::)


to be fair that soooo deserves an offensive email back like.. "im bored to send me a pic of your tiny cock so I can laugh at it"  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 09 August 2011, 10:57:22 pm

to be fair that soooo deserves an offensive email back like.. "im bored to send me a pic of your tiny cock so I can laugh at it"  :o
[/quote]

As my friend Martin used to say, "Harsh. But fair."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 09 August 2011, 11:52:00 pm
Quote from: Kitty_of_Herts on 09 August 2011, 12:44:31 am
Quote from: Coty on 08 August 2011, 07:21:25 pm
Quote from: April on 08 August 2011, 07:14:02 pm
through the ages,
the conventions of beauty may change,
but certain attributes are timeless,
kindness,pretty face,gorgeous figure,
you possess them all in abundance
I had that same 'poem' a few weeks back and he's done nothing but text me since.

Me too. Sent a reply of "ummm, thanks" and got this not at all weird reply:
Quote
      
thank you for taking the time to reply to my email..it was most appreciated..it put a big smile on my face as you can imagine....your photos in your gallery are so sexxxy...mmmmm...have a good day and stay well..

Your beauty and charm is comparable to the stars,
its pure and clear,and it will shine on forever,
not to be dimmed or thwarted by time,
just like a pristine,flawless,diamond....x paul

I'm scared that one day I'll be reading my AW mail and the wind'll change mid eye-roll  ::)



Got that one too. And several others.
He text today and I replied...thanks for giving myself a a few other escorts a good laugh with your cheesy poems.
He replied and said he was flattered we were talking about him!
So I said....Thanks, that's just proved what we all thought about you being a total twat......delete/block! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 10 August 2011, 12:47:36 am
just got this:

'Any chance you would feel sorry for a jobless loser with no credits and let me see you on cam. I also have cam if you want to see. Even if you're clothed. :( please'

I mean tempting as this is, why can't he just use the free preview ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amber Sweetpetite on 10 August 2011, 07:52:45 am
Quote from: sara1980 on 06 August 2011, 12:10:31 am

Please let me be the only one he has contacted!!

HI, Im Trevor Seemann and i am on vacation..When i looked you up on site,i loved your profile so i  decided to contact you..I am on 2 weeks vacation and would like to know if you  can spend  2 days with me..Please let me know how much it will cost me and what are the terms...Im looking forward to read back from you asap..You can also check me up on facebook Tblahblah...  Cheers

Regards
Trevor

Hi Trevor

When exactly were you thinking of?

Sara xxx (Awaiting with baited breath!)

Hey babe,thanks for writing back..I looked you up on adultfinder web , Like i said previously, i will handle your flight and trip expense so you got nothing to worry about,all i need is your good company and services..Im willing to pay you ?2000 for 2 days, hope we are cool with that ? My Details are below:

Name: Trevor Seemann
Nick Name: Trev
Status: Divorced
Occupation: Gynecologist/Self employed/Little Saint Orphanage
Age: 43
Hair Color: Black
Height: 6.2ft
Phone: 9798718498
Ethnicity: Italian/American Mixed
Residential:San Diego,California
Location of Vacation/Visiting: Amsterdam, Netherlands
Date of appointment:Aug 25  to Aug 28
Nearest Airport: The Hague Airport Rotterdam Amsterdam, Netherlands
Hotel: Golden Tulip Rotterdam Airport Hotel
Best Way to get in touch: Email,Phone,Fax

N:B I will use condoms because i cant have unprotected sex more so if you don't like  kissing cumming in the mouth or face, i'm okay with that just be ready to make me feel good..

I will pay you half by check and the rest By cash upon arrival so Get back to me with your location,full name,phone number,address and zip code for payment issuance.....Write me back asap and let me know what you feel...I will call  you asap...Cheers

Regards
Trevor

I feel so lucky lol!

Had that one lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 12 August 2011, 08:33:33 pm
A while back, a young (I think he said he was Lithuanian) man offered me a camcorder instead of cash for my services (he didn't mention when booking that he wanted to barter).
When I declined, he proceeded to 'sweeten the deal' by pulling a bottle of cheap plonk out of his rucksack, and offered to throw that in as well.
When I failed to be tempted by his generous offer, he requested credit, he assured me he would definitely bring the money to me the next day...

Today a client ringing for 'details' was a real charmer.
Him: "Is the place clean?"
Me: "Pardon???"
Him " Well is it in Good Order? Are you a Drug Addict"
Me "If you phoned a mechanic to service your car, would you ask them if they were on drugs?"
Him " Er no, but You People"......
Me  click
Grrrrrr!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 12 August 2011, 09:58:22 pm
Quote from: natasha on 12 August 2011, 08:33:33 pm
but You People"......

You people!! says the man paying to put his bits in people  ::)

How would he feel if you went "are you genuine or are you a timewaster, what do you earn, are you married, do you have STD's??"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 13 August 2011, 12:41:03 pm
Quote from: Amber Sweetpetite on 10 August 2011, 07:52:45 am
Quote from: sara1980 on 06 August 2011, 12:10:31 am

Please let me be the only one he has contacted!!

HI, Im Trevor Seemann and i am on vacation..When i looked you up on site,i loved your profile so i  decided to contact you..I am on 2 weeks vacation and would like to know if you  can spend  2 days with me..Please let me know how much it will cost me and what are the terms...Im looking forward to read back from you asap..You can also check me up on facebook Tblahblah...  Cheers

Regards
Trevor

Hi Trevor

When exactly were you thinking of?

Sara xxx (Awaiting with baited breath!)

Hey babe,thanks for writing back..I looked you up on adultfinder web , Like i said previously, i will handle your flight and trip expense so you got nothing to worry about,all i need is your good company and services..Im willing to pay you ?2000 for 2 days, hope we are cool with that ? My Details are below:

Name: Trevor Seemann
Nick Name: Trev
Status: Divorced
Occupation: Gynecologist/Self employed/Little Saint Orphanage
Age: 43
Hair Color: Black
Height: 6.2ft
Phone: 9798718498
Ethnicity: Italian/American Mixed
Residential:San Diego,California
Location of Vacation/Visiting: Amsterdam, Netherlands
Date of appointment:Aug 25  to Aug 28
Nearest Airport: The Hague Airport Rotterdam Amsterdam, Netherlands
Hotel: Golden Tulip Rotterdam Airport Hotel
Best Way to get in touch: Email,Phone,Fax

N:B I will use condoms because i cant have unprotected sex more so if you don't like  kissing cumming in the mouth or face, i'm okay with that just be ready to make me feel good..

I will pay you half by check and the rest By cash upon arrival so Get back to me with your location,full name,phone number,address and zip code for payment issuance.....Write me back asap and let me know what you feel...I will call  you asap...Cheers

Regards
Trevor

I feel so lucky lol!

Had that one lol!

I'm thinking this is one of those 'nigerian' type scams, I got the same but he actually said we'd be staying on an Island. There actually is Amsterdam island, it's in the Indian Ocean considered part of the French Antarctic.

He also sent me a link to his facebook profile, on which there is a photo
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 13 August 2011, 02:25:02 pm
"i wish u were my gf,u r so gorgeous,i'm young and an african, and got what it takes to please a woman.i wish my dream could come true, what do u think bbe? xx"

If by 'what it takes to please a woman' you mean you have my hourly fee then yes, otherwise, no...
R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 13 August 2011, 02:31:13 pm
Freechat conversation

Idiot: hi
Idiot: can i see u tonite
Friday: I dont know
Friday: you might need to give me more info than..well none lol
Idiot: can u come to my appartment
Idiot: tonite sothat we can have some good times together
Friday: I dont know!!! where is your apartment??!?!!? lol
Idiot leaves the room

I hate weekends  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 13 August 2011, 03:32:35 pm
Quote from: Rooby on 13 August 2011, 02:25:02 pm
"i wish u were my gf,u r so gorgeous,i'm young and an african, and got what it takes to please a woman.i wish my dream could come true, what do u think bbe? xx"

If by 'what it takes to please a woman' you mean you have my hourly fee then yes, otherwise, no...
R xx

Aww, I got this one too, I thought it was my lucky day...  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 13 August 2011, 07:40:03 pm
Quote from: Friday on 12 August 2011, 09:58:22 pm
Quote from: natasha on 12 August 2011, 08:33:33 pm
but You People"......

You people!! says the man paying to put his bits in people  ::)

How would he feel if you went "are you genuine or are you a timewaster, what do you earn, are you married, do you have STD's??"

Yes, quite.
But,Grrr
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 13 August 2011, 08:29:53 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 13 August 2011, 03:32:35 pm
Aww, I got this one too, I thought it was my lucky day...  :D

Oh but is IS. You can have him :D
R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KirstyPink on 14 August 2011, 12:55:54 pm
On adultwork this morning 10.46

Fancy sum fun bbe no money no strings just pure sex

Erm...No  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 14 August 2011, 01:11:37 pm
Quote from: WelshBelle on 14 August 2011, 12:55:54 pm
On adultwork this morning 10.46

Fancy sum fun bbe no money no strings just pure sex

Erm...No  ;D

You mean, "Oh, yes, please!!! Wow, that's an offer I can't possibly refuse! I'm so very, very fortunate that you chose to offer it to little old me, of all people! Thank you, thank you, thank you, kind sir!!!!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kayci on 15 August 2011, 02:49:23 pm
Got this today, he is doing his rounds again using the same email with a new username.  Kayci X x

Hey babe, nice profile! So hows it going on here since you joined, everyone being nice and you having fun, I hope so.

I'm not like most guys on here! I work in the adult scene myself, running a few websites. The only problem is, it's not easy finding a partner for a relationship who is accepting of it. Do you find the same with the fact you do escorting? Be nice to find someone decent, genuine and nice and also escorts, I love seeing my partner with other guys.

Maybe we could chat and get to know each other, as you seem nice. I've some pictures on my profile here, have a look and let me know what you think. Can't hurt can it?

Hope to speak soon

Kam (Mrspuduk)
x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sara1980 on 15 August 2011, 04:14:52 pm

Ahhhhh! The delightful Kam  ;D 
I'll always remember him - He was the very first person to contact me on a/w when I set my profile up hahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kayci on 15 August 2011, 04:32:09 pm
Still deluded as ever, funny that when i asked to see the sites he has he didnt reply...

Kayci X x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 16 August 2011, 10:11:16 am
The guys that read it and still ask you questions ie "Hi, I know you profile says your working hours/services/incalls only/outcalls only/dont do duos but I was wondering if you would do X/Y/Z for me for extra money/a favour/my first time experience"

Errrr how about NO!
Anyone else get these?? They scream 'Hi i know youve set your boundaries would you consider bending them for me?'(bearing in mind im a complete stranger and all!!! grrrrrrr
 >:(

*Rant over* lol
xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 16 August 2011, 10:28:07 am
1) "Will you give me a student discount? I can show you my student id." (Sod off.)
2) "I'm interested in bareback. I'll pay you extra." (?13,000,000,000,000 ?)
3) "But, you'd do an incall for ME, right?" (Right, since you're so sweet and lovely)
and my old fave as many of you will recall,
 4) "I'll book a room anywhere u want, but do I still have to pay u?"
and, last night...
5) "I want 2 c wot u look like" (subscribe to my private gallery)
followed with:
6) "Do you want 2 c mine?" (I don't look unless I'm paid to.)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 16 August 2011, 10:40:18 am
Yes it is annoying but people will always ask, and you can always say no. A lot of guys admit they don't genuinely don't read profiles, and some of this can be because they want to check the details in person. Y0u can make everything crystal clear on your website and you'll still get asked the same questions.

Just keep the answers clear and don't be persuaded into something you don't want to do.

My favourite is "Do you have any recent/more photos?" two weeks after uploading a new shoot, followed quite closely by asking if my fees would be different for a virgin. I replied asking if he was suggesting I should charge more in such circumstances, joking of course!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 16 August 2011, 11:02:16 am
I decided a couple of weeks ago that my rates would be ?500/hour for anyone who hadn't read my website (yes you can save lots of money by reading it. Want to know how much? READ THE WEBSITE!) I haven't remembered this while on the phone yet.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 16 August 2011, 11:15:46 am
Quote from: Anika Mae on 16 August 2011, 11:02:16 am
I decided a couple of weeks ago that my rates would be ?500/hour for anyone who hadn't read my website (yes you can save lots of money by reading it. Want to know how much? READ THE WEBSITE!) I haven't remembered this while on the phone yet.

I never read one of your posts, without thinking you are brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 16 August 2011, 11:36:27 am
Quote from: Dionne on 16 August 2011, 10:11:16 am
The guys that read it and still ask you questions ie "Hi, I know you profile says your working hours/services/incalls only/outcalls only/dont do duos but I was wondering if you would do X/Y/Z for me for extra money/a favour/my first time experience"

Errrr how about NO!
Anyone else get these?? They scream 'Hi i know youve set your boundaries would you consider bending them for me?'(bearing in mind im a complete stranger and all!!! grrrrrrr
 >:(

That's exactly how I feel about these requests. Sure, "I just wanted to check, no worries, goodbye!" is annoying but not a problem.

Offering extra money, though? WTF?! "I just wanted to tell you that as you're a whore, I do believe you'll do whatever I tell you if I dazzle you with the idea of ONE THOUSAND of my FINEST ENGLISH POUNDS! Ha HA!" ...Insulting or what? Especially when the request is something really dumb and unsafe like bareback/a disorganised gangbang/kidnap-and-rape roleplay/etc.

Love your idea, though, Anika. It's kind of why I put my half-hour rate at what you might call ?Absurd - if you say you don't offer something, you get more people whining at you to change your mind, but if you say you'll do it for ?Absurd, many of them seem to shy away from asking just in case you direct debit their bank account or something. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 16 August 2011, 11:57:46 am
Actually, having a premium rate number would be even better, since I'm definitely not going to discuss the stuff they should have read already with someone who says they're happy to pay ?500. Ask me this crap for ?1/minute, or read it for free. Does anyone know of a service that can give you a number without any standing fees? Obviously payout would be rubbish or non-existent, but it would get the point across.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 16 August 2011, 12:24:14 pm
Quote from: Anika Mae on 16 August 2011, 11:57:46 am
Actually, having a premium rate number would be even better, since I'm definitely not going to discuss the stuff they should have read already with someone who says they're happy to pay ?500. Ask me this crap for ?1/minute, or read it for free. Does anyone know of a service that can give you a number without any standing fees? Obviously payout would be rubbish or non-existent, but it would get the point across.

Cracking idea!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 16 August 2011, 01:28:26 pm
Quote from: Anika Mae on 16 August 2011, 11:57:46 am
Does anyone know of a service that can give you a number without any standing fees?

The issue isn't going to be the fees (companies will beg you to have free 0845 numbers because of the money to be made from those) but rather the hassle of having to comply with all of the regulations around them. Some of the 0700 'personal number' companies may be able to do something. Even if you don't get anything out of it, you know that they're hideously expensive to call.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 16 August 2011, 03:24:35 pm
No-one's actually trying to book me here, but I thought someone was trying it on in a particularly ridiculous way until I got another two calls in the next few minutes. Apparently someone's hanging around in an adult chat room, using my name but probably not mentioning anything about sex work, and offering phone sex via my phone number. WTF?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 16 August 2011, 06:35:03 pm
Today "Will you wear pointed toe shoes and kick me repeatedly in the face, then stamp on my cock with your stilettos? When I come please kick me in the face again and tell me how pathetic I am?" -

Yes please, NOT.  Weirdo
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 16 August 2011, 07:10:52 pm
Quote from: pandora on 16 August 2011, 06:35:03 pm
Today "Will you wear pointed toe shoes and kick me repeatedly in the face, then stamp on my cock with your stilettos? When I come please kick me in the face again and tell me how pathetic I am?" -

Yes please, NOT.  Weirdo

Hell, I would do this for free for some of the clients I see, whether they want it or not!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littlepeanut on 17 August 2011, 01:43:13 pm
I received this gem today.....

Hi i have a business venture im starting up but need some willing victims lol. Basically id want to film you getting pushed and dropped into nice deep cow manure pit by various methods . Know it strange one but it all good sub games and slapstick type fun. If your interested and need any details please get back to me. Thanks Mark. Could make us all some serious money x x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 17 August 2011, 02:18:42 pm
Quote from: littlepeanut on 17 August 2011, 01:43:13 pm
I received this gem today.....

Hi i have a business venture im starting up but need some willing victims lol. Basically id want to film you getting pushed and dropped into nice deep cow manure pit by various methods . Know it strange one but it all good sub games and slapstick type fun. If your interested and need any details please get back to me. Thanks Mark. Could make us all some serious money x x


You should message him back saying you'll hold the camera and he can roll about in the cow poop, make you all some serious money!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 17 August 2011, 06:05:00 pm
So, my unwanted promoter had three sessions yesterday and one so far today. It seems that at least today he's not doing private messages, just posting my number right in the chat room... and people are calling it. I just told one to be more sceptical ::).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 17 August 2011, 06:11:47 pm
Quote from: Anika Mae on 17 August 2011, 06:05:00 pm
So, my unwanted promoter had three sessions yesterday and one so far today. It seems that at least today he's not doing private messages, just posting my number right in the chat room... and people are calling it. I just told one to be more sceptical ::).

How many people?? Meh. :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 19 August 2011, 09:45:49 am
I have a new pet peeve, hence forth any guy who asks working hours/location and replies to the answer with

"Aww I could have made it if you were working earlier/later/closer"

Is going to get a sharply written email explaining that the laws of time and space will not be bent to suit his penis.

Repeat offenders will have said penis removed in the hopes of preventing him breeding and passing on the stupid gene.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 19 August 2011, 12:32:56 pm
2 gems, this email:

My name is Luke. I will be visiting Glasgow next week.
I have a fantasy to be raped by a woman while I am on ecstasy. You like to be dominant? BDSM? Would you be into such a scenario? If so could you get hold of some e? [I'm living outside the Uk at the moment and don't know where to find e in Scotland].

and this in freeview

Him enters the room
Him: hi bb
Friday: Hi there
ally45: what about a couple of drinks this weekend?
Friday: if you mean during a booking then, give me booking details and we'll see lol
Him: I'll take the look on your face as a no then
Him leaves the room

some how I don't think he meant as a booking...  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 19 August 2011, 01:16:56 pm
Oh god that first one is wrong in so many ways. I had a client sneak off to the loo to take some E or MDMA once (it was a couple booking and it didn't occur to me at the time that he was doing drugs, but I realised later that he'd been acting like someone on E without any of the lovey huggy stuff). It was one of my creepiest bookings.

With chat enquiries, I realised in my early days that nothing ever comes from them so if anyone says they want to make a booking in freechat I tell them to call or email me. If they're paying and want to talk like they'll book me then that's fine, but I just consider it part of the show.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 19 August 2011, 01:38:36 pm
Oh, and those phone sex calls went on for three days, so yesterday I got someone to spell out the username for me and asked the site admin to do something about it. I haven't had any reply, but also no more calls so maybe they've banned his IP and that was actually enough to make him realise his actions have consequences (I figured he'd move on to another site). I'm a little disappointed that I didn't get in and talk to him first, since I'm curious about whether he was just into it as a prank or actually playing the part of a woman with details he'd picked from my website (the username included my age).

(Edit: spoke too soon.)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ace on 19 August 2011, 10:50:36 pm
So webcamming on AW tonight. A guy greeted me oh so politely.

"lets see it thn b4 pvt"
 to which I replied "erm ..no I don't offer freebies"

"i nt payin till i see goods m8"

lol, ok *boots out of room* 
remarkable how many people seem to think this is an acceptabel way to greet someone.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 20 August 2011, 09:17:00 am
Quote from: Ace on 19 August 2011, 10:50:36 pm
So webcamming on AW tonight. A guy greeted me oh so politely.

"lets see it thn b4 pvt"
 to which I replied "erm ..no I don't offer freebies"

"i nt payin till i see goods m8"

lol, ok *boots out of room* 
remarkable how many people seem to think this is an acceptabel way to greet someone.  ::)

I think I've had the pleasure of him before  ::)

Another one TOLD (not asked, TOLD) me to "get naked".
Me "not in freeview"
Him "get naked and I'll go private".
Me "Not in freeview".
Him "show face"
Me "see all in pvt"
Him "not paying til I see what I'm getting"
Me "Go see my pictures on AW"
Him "No"
Me *KICKS HIM OUT*


Another one, this whole convo must have been less than 3 minutes!:
Him "do you show bum?"
Me "yes, in pvt)
Him "show bumhole?"
Me "yes"
Him "Spread bumhole?"
Me "Yes, see all in pvt"
Him *REQUESTS PRIVATE - SESSION STARTS* "show anus bb"
Me "ok" *BENDS OVER*
Him "spread bum"
Me *DOES AS REQUESTED*
Him "now shit for me"
Me *TURNS BACK ROUND AND SITS DOWN* "sorry, I don't offer that service"
Him "poo for me now"
Me "I don't offer that service."
Him *LEAVES THE ROOM*
 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 20 August 2011, 01:01:43 pm
So yeah, I was still getting phone sex calls yesterday (nothing yet today but there's still time). If they don't hang up at "Anika speaking" I ask them if they're interested in making an appointment. When I told one of them that it wasn't me in the chat room he asked me what my business was because "we might be on the same wavelength". I said no I don't think so, bye. He called back about 10 minutes later saying he wanted an appointment and hadn't called before (I was fairly sure it was him but hadn't saved his number). He hadn't thought to search for my phone number though, so he hadn't seen my site and I told him he'd better go look. He asked if I was always this rude to my customers. Lol. I told him my customers are more on the ball, which isn't always true but I thought it was a good sentiment.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 20 August 2011, 01:32:28 pm
Ha ha Friday I got the "E" guy as well. Copy and Paste job me-thinks. He sounds about 17!

and Cat, how the hell did he think you could just poo on demand?!!!  ;D His knowledge of basic bodily functions is severely lacking!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Camomile on 20 August 2011, 03:29:16 pm
I just got the most crass email via my website. Text language, no punctuation, and a little bit filthy. I won't share as I'm not sure about the use of foul language on here.

However best bit was the second email he sent:

"bb dont sen back email 2 dis email k. dis email is my privit one for facebook so dont reply. still wana fuk u tho."

Douche
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 20 August 2011, 03:57:54 pm
Quote from: Ambs on 20 August 2011, 03:29:16 pm
I just got the most crass email via my website. Text language, no punctuation, and a little bit filthy. I won't share as I'm not sure about the use of foul language on here.

However best bit was the second email he sent:

"bb dont sen back email 2 dis email k. dis email is my privit one for facebook so dont reply. still wana fuk u tho."

Douche


Urgh...what a gentleman! YUCK:-(

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 20 August 2011, 04:54:01 pm
Hi my name is Melissa
 
I found your profile on Girl Directory.com the reason why i'm contacting you is because  i've started an agency on AdultWork.com  and i was really impressed with your profile and i and i think you would be perfect for the agency,its completely free to join,you don't have to lift a finger i will make the profile for you from the details on Girl Directory.com.
 
Its completely freelance so you work when you want were you want and you set your own fees.
 
How it works

You chose your rates we just add ?20 on top of what you charge so you still get the same i.e if you charge  ?150 when we get you a booking for you we charge the client ?170 this way you get the amount you want.
 
Once the booking is complete i will send you my bank details and you can put the ?20 in at a time that is good for you.
 
Benefits
 
I have been a member of  for a many years now and i know how to make the best out of it and get as many booking as possible, there
are a lot of benefits if you join my agency group,  the site gets 35,000 visitors each day and im spending nearly a  ?1,000 a week on advertising  to have my agency  on the front page and have my girls at the top of each search and google and other internet advertising .

If your interested in joining my agency  reply to this email or call or txt me on {number}, you wont have to do anything i will create your profile select an escort.
 
this is the link to my agency  http://groups.adultwork.com/{his "group" he is spending ?1000s on a week on AW!}

this is the link to my profile  http://www.adultwork.com/{timewaster}

thank you for your time and i really hope you take me up on this offer yours truly melissa


- Sent from an email address with a guy's name! hahahahahaha.......
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 20 August 2011, 05:02:43 pm
I got an email from the same folks, telling me I hadn't verified my registration...which I'd never started, by the way. I did a search of their site and there is no search functionality, just photos and names-- no way to find anyone by name. I blocked them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 20 August 2011, 06:16:46 pm
Just received this one  :o  If you cant be bothered to read it all (and I dont blame you) just bear in mind that he wants everything he has detailed all fitted into a 30 minute booking...
R xx   


Ok well i have a request... invloves talking really dirty and humiliating me, but verbally..im not into anything like sticking things anywhere, or weird device...just some heavy verbal humiliation, some slapping, spitting maybe but thats all..
I hope thats ok...:) sitting on me:)
so here is my request sorry its detailed..

A bit about me im 27 , born here, but indian origin, 167cm tall(5;7) medium build.

Ok well my girlfriend left me a few weeks ago now, and said basically i was too much of a nice guy , too romantic, which i was told in girl code means,
i was a pussy, with a small dick , and too nice, and not sexy enough...

Anyway its my bday soon and i feel like shit, and i wanted to try something i never did before, and try something naughty, explore different things, and bit a bit bad.


But because im a nice guy no one is ever mean to me really, and right now, i wanna be abused, and made to feel like shit for half the session...then for the other half i just want flat out honesty, and if you like me, a quick bit of fun and your lovely naked bother smothering me and licking me, and xxxx:)

R

So i wanna be humiliated for the first half.. I want you to speficially target things about myself and my body that are so personal..the more personal the better..
Make me take off all my clothes as u watch, and walk around me, and then humiliate me, call me names...these are things you can take the piss out of

1. fat , 2. hairy...3.. scars.
4. ass, 5. little brown paki/indian 5inch

Now i really want to to call me horrible names.... please be as mean as you can, i am experimenting m and noone does this to me,
I dont know if you are comfortble being a bit racist, or not, but i would like that as well.... :)

YOu can call me fat, hairy fucking pig, asian, paki wanker , little indian cock, 5inch brown cock, little brown fucking paki cock waniking you cock over meoldy, .
U ugly pig, shit bitch, cunt, mother fucker, etc..:) i think you get the point.. be as mean as you can...

Then make me wank off you infront of you as you stare at me and my cock humiliating me at the same time...and the size...whilst calling me these names

You can spit in my face, hit me, punch me a bit, kick,,(but not in balls:) you can grab my cock, wank me, oral etc... all would be fine.


Second half

I just want you to be yourself in this half...if you like me thats fine:) if you dont thats fine too..but only have sex if you fancy me a bit:)
Ive never been with a larger girl and always wanted to... I would like you to take all your clothes off and basically jump on ME:)
And just take charge ...:) IM NOT SEXUALLY EXPERIENCED HENCE you gotta take charge:) but you can be yourself. im affection i love to hug you , you have an amazing body ...
and some bj:) would be lovely, and some sex, and please make sure i cum , i seem to take ages to cum :( ...... anyway try without telling me that we have 5 mins left...:)


thanks and im sorry about the long email
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 20 August 2011, 06:24:05 pm
Bloody Norah! lmao

Doesn't want much does he?

So go in demand the money, spit at him push him about a bit...then give him a bj and make him cum and go!

so are you up for the challenge? ha ha ha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 20 August 2011, 06:29:53 pm
Quote from: Coty on 20 August 2011, 06:24:05 pm
so are you up for the challenge? ha ha ha

Pass. Life is tooooo short! :D
R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 20 August 2011, 07:27:16 pm
What strikes me is this: if he "takes ages to cum" then how the hell is he going to cum with a wank in 15 minutes of a novel fetish and then get it up again quickly enough to have sex with you (if you like him?)

Nothing like asking for the world on the head of a pin...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelaManchester on 20 August 2011, 07:29:44 pm
Oh, Rooby! What a knob!  Betcha can't WAIT to bite his hand off  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 20 August 2011, 08:25:54 pm
Quote from: Rooby on 20 August 2011, 06:16:46 pm
please make sure i cum , i seem to take ages to cum :( ...... anyway try without telling me that we have 5 mins left...:)


thanks and im sorry about the long email

LOL Rooby - I read all the email and was nodding, shrugging etc until the last sentance and was like  :o You could have given him almost half hour of insulting, slapping him about a bit, jump on him, smother him etc...but then he could take another hour to cum!!! Especially as he knows that when you're trying to make him cum, he only has 5 short minutes!!!

And the email prolly took him longer to write than the session would last! :D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 20 August 2011, 09:23:42 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 20 August 2011, 08:25:54 pm

And the email prolly took him longer to write than the session would last! :D :D

LMAO! Especially as it was probably typed one handed!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tastylass on 21 August 2011, 02:32:50 pm
Hey everyone! Congratulations on 100 pages of really terrible attempts at booking! Is this the longest thread ever on Saafe?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 21 August 2011, 06:04:45 pm
Oooh the twats are camming today  ::)

Twat1 : wow
CatBBW: hi
Twat1: great big tits u oryyt luv
CatBBW: fine ty, hru?
Twat1: im hard
Twat1: can u shw ur face plz hun
CatBBW: see all face in pvt
Twat1: mmmm i wana cum on ur face
Twat1: ur belly is big
CatBBW: it is
Twat1: wat about ur ass
CatBBW: massive. see all in group or pvt
Twat1: fuk sake
Twat1: ur massive
Twat1: noo
Twat1: too fat
Twat1 leaves room

Sooo...he wants to cum on my face (that he hasn't seen!), but I'm too fat for him. ::) Still, at least he didn't ask for poo :-X



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luvmylips on 21 August 2011, 06:56:29 pm
Sundays seem to be the day that I draw in the loonies! Got this email from Novelist london who claims to have played this game with loads of escorts.  ::)
_________________________________________________________________
FROM:NOVELIST LONDON
I should tell you, I never pay for sex directly, but I do throw my
money around, and everyone knows the rules before they play?

When I was a teenager I would watch game shows on television, and
fantasise  that if you opened the correct envelope, you would win sex
with the beautiful woman in the posh dress, the gamehost's beautiful
assistant.

I have a game to play with girls. I hand you some money and some
envelopes and you put the money into the envelopes (you can count the
money). Envelopes chosen at random. You get to keep the contents. But,
you can't open the envelope until after we've had some fun together!
Either:
- six envelopes, one empty, five each contain ?200
- two envelopes, one empty, one contains ?1,000

We would play each time we meet. From my point of view, it will
average out over time. Of course, we will do whatever you can suggest
to ensure that the game is 100% fair. We discuss the game in detail
before we meet and only play if you are 100% happy.

We'll, I'm sure you'll get back to me if you'd like to play.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BOZO!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luvmylips on 21 August 2011, 07:00:58 pm
Claims to have found my details on AW and did not want to pay a deposit but wanted to meet for a coffee first. If I had a tenner for every chancer that wants to meet for coffee first, then I wouldn't have to actually do any work!  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 21 August 2011, 07:05:42 pm
Twat2: do u do doggin
CatBBW: no sorry
Twat2: no worries wud luv 2 bum som1 ur size outsd
Twat2 leaves room

It's not the fact he asked for dogging, it was his second sentence that sealed the deal for me  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 21 August 2011, 07:19:02 pm
Got these last night from B1G0NE on AW, I'm guessing that's Big One, not Bi Gone lol:

Quote
Hi I'm gaz fit muscular young hung horny guy 29 from Washington near newcastle. Are you free tonight? would love to meet you can accom, come to you or meet outdoors for car fun?


077379504**

Gaz
x
Market research time:
Quote
Hi Gaz!

Can I just ask did you read my profile at all?

I've put a lot of effort into making it as easy as possible to read, but I find I still get emails like yours, asking if I'm free on short notice on a Saturday night despite my profile saying

"Working hours: Out Calls - 9am to 7pm Mon to Fri - Late Evenings and Weekends with Advanced Booking Only.

In Calls - 10am to 4pm Monday to Friday- See In Call Tab for Details."

In bold and underlined and on the first page, as well as on 2 other pages.

So I would value your insight, please don't think I am being rude, but I would love to know what made you email me tonight?

Thanks

XxX

Quote
yeah sorry was just really keen to see u tonight so i thought i would try my luck. sorry for bothering you x
Oh wow! So maybe I'm making a break through training them one by one!  :D
Quote
No problem hun, was just looking for a guys POV to improve my profile

Thanks

XxX

Quote
no problem. so u not free at all tonight? x
Or maybe not  :-[
Quote
   
Nope, I am never available on a weekend or evening unless we arrange it before hand

XxX

Quote
awwww gutted so wanted to see u, im fit young hung horny guy 29, only after sampling your bj skills :) would be quick meet? x

Yes because I'm going to get out of my nice warm bed at 11pm, say taraa to my boyfriend, hoping he doesn't ask where I'm going and meet this young stud for a quick shag in the bushes, or travel all the way to his place for the privilege of what will probably he a rather crumpled ?20...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 21 August 2011, 07:27:28 pm
hi there , i was looking through your profile and noticed that you have an amazing body and that you are very pretty but lack in videos to show this off,i would be interested in a night shoot of videos with you to boost our profiles and profit. if you are interested in this please write back so we can organise something ,as we can sort out ownership rights and possibly cash i look forward to hearing from you x

I have 120 videos.... ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 21 August 2011, 07:33:55 pm
Quote from: Friday on 21 August 2011, 07:27:28 pm
I have 120 videos.... ::)

That cracked me up!

XxX
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 21 August 2011, 07:40:55 pm
Quote from: Friday on 21 August 2011, 07:27:28 pm
I have 120 videos.... ::)

Ah yes, but none with him!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 21 August 2011, 07:41:48 pm
-
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 21 August 2011, 07:46:28 pm
Nobody reads, Friday is right... my profile says I stop working at 10:00 pm and currently shows me unavailable until the end of the week. Missed a call after midnight and I wasn't asleep, so...on a whim, I rang back. He gave me his whole spiel and I explained that had he read further he would have realized the above. He was very nice about it all and seemed very keen. Said he'd hotlist me and be in touch. Whether he will or not, I have no way of knowing but I was so friendly--even suggesting he do a search specific to Available Today and check the ladies' booking hours. He sounded as if he hadn't thought that far in advance but was glad of the advice.
I have a feeling he'll ring back, someday. And, I thought I'd prove to all of you that I'm not always a cold bitch!
x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 21 August 2011, 07:47:39 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 21 August 2011, 07:41:48 pm
MissArcaBunny, I am definitely going to try your "market research" techniques!  ;D That was hilarious!

Well your "John" sounds like oodles of fun...

I should warn you my market research doesn't always work so I've also added my FAQs -

Quote
Q. I have read your Frequently Asked Questions, do they apply to me?   

A. Yes, they do.

Q. I'm confused, I have a very large penis, do they really apply to me?

A. Yes, they do.

Q. Seriously, I have a very large penis AND I'm very wealthy, do they really apply to me?   

A. Seriously, YES, they really do.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 21 August 2011, 07:50:01 pm

I should warn you my market research doesn't always work so I've also added my FAQs -

Quote
Q. I have read your Frequently Asked Questions, do they apply to me?   

A. Yes, they do.

Q. I'm confused, I have a very large penis, do they really apply to me?

A. Yes, they do.

Confused...what about your FAQs would make him above the law of MissArcaBunny?

Q. Seriously, I have a very large penis AND I'm very wealthy, do they really apply to me?   

A. Seriously, YES, they really do.
[/quote]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 21 August 2011, 07:50:46 pm
Quote from: Luvmylips on 21 August 2011, 06:56:29 pm
Sundays seem to be the day that I draw in the loonies!


I'm convinced the whole male population goes bonkers on a Sunday!! I won't complain cos it's one of my busiest days, but it's like a plague of cock-wielding zombies on Sundays!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 21 August 2011, 08:03:25 pm
Quote from: Your Tera on 21 August 2011, 07:50:01 pm


Confused...what about your FAQs would make him above the law of MissArcaBunny?



I dunno, but I really want to buy one of those huge inflatable hammers and bash the stupid ones who actually make it through my screening process. Apparently hitting stupid clients with huge real hammers is not allowed  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 21 August 2011, 08:22:20 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 21 August 2011, 07:50:46 pm
I'm convinced the whole male population goes bonkers on a Sunday!! I won't complain cos it's one of my busiest days, but it's like a plague of cock-wielding zombies on Sundays!!

I'd say its a weekend think in general, like you attract more of the "trying it cause they're bored" types.

You can always tell when it's a public holiday! Especially at Christmas time  you can tell when people start breaking up for there Christmas break, 500% increase in idiots! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tastylass on 22 August 2011, 10:55:08 am
Quote from: Luvmylips on 21 August 2011, 06:56:29 pm
I have a game to play with girls. I hand you some money and some
envelopes and you put the money into the envelopes (you can count the
money). Envelopes chosen at random. You get to keep the contents. But,
you can't open the envelope until after we've had some fun together!
Either:
- six envelopes, one empty, five each contain ?200
- two envelopes, one empty, one contains ?1,000

We would play each time we meet. From my point of view, it will
average out over time. Of course, we will do whatever you can suggest
to ensure that the game is 100% fair. We discuss the game in detail
before we meet and only play if you are 100% happy.

Being a bit geeky, I rather like that idea, particularly since his proposed options suggest that he's mathematically illiterate. His first option has an average payoff over time of ?166 per booking and his second ?500 per booking. It sounds like the higher the chance of getting 'something for nothing', the more he's prepared to risk. I wonder how he'd react to three envelopes, two empty and one containing ?5,000.

Of course, there would need to be some sort of way to ensure that he doesn't cheat. I'd make sure I provided the envelopes, to avoid hidden pockets and insist that he put the money in before sex, then hide them in my usual place. I'd make sure I was the one to shuffle the envelopes behind my back (could do this nude so no chance of cheating) and then ask him to pick one. Or flip a coin.

The main problem I'd see is the risk that if he 'won' the first time, he wouldn't come back again. Or that he's only interested in discussing the game, rather than playing it. I'd probably suggest a half-hour booking at social rates to finalise the details. That would scare off a TW.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tastylass on 22 August 2011, 11:17:18 am
Quote from: LouLou37 on 21 August 2011, 07:41:48 pm
I have just seen your advert and wanted to drop you a note. I am 44 and stay near Glasgow. Not married - I stay with my eldery Aunt. I grew up with her and I had a very strict childhood. To cut a long story short I used to get corporal punishmnet as a child and every now and again I still have to take it. Mty Aunt is sending me to get the school Tawse for a firend of hers soon. This lady used to run a borstal before she retired and she belts very hard.

I am going to get 12 strokes across my bottom and after I I would like to come for a massage. Is that possible? I feel I will deserve some please after the pain.

I am being belted for having erections - no guy can go without one for long but my Aunt does not allow it. I have not masturbated for nearly a year so really keen to do that as well, if you allow it.

Sorry, I don't see what the problem is with this one. Seems like a fairly standard request for a domme, with his little Aunt fantasy explained. So long as a booking comes soon after, he's just explaining what he wants.

Is the problem that your website says that you don't offer CP?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 22 August 2011, 02:11:23 pm
Quote from: tastylass on 22 August 2011, 10:55:08 am
The main problem I'd see is the risk that if he 'won' the first time, he wouldn't come back again.

I am not in any way a 'good' magician, but if you played this with me, then amazingly enough the empty envelope would be picked every time. This sort of thing is basic magic, so I would say your main problem is that you end up shagging a magician for free...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 22 August 2011, 02:27:43 pm
Quote from: xw5 on 22 August 2011, 02:11:23 pm
I am not in any way a 'good' magician, but if you played this with me, then amazingly enough the empty envelope would be picked every time. This sort of thing is basic magic, so I would say your main problem is that you end up shagging a magician for free...

If it were Derren Brown I wouldn't mind at all!
But he's gay so not likely to be him:-(

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelaManchester on 22 August 2011, 03:29:51 pm
Via AW, from somebody calling himself WellEndowedChris:

Hi. You have a nice profile.
I was wondering if you would like to for a partnership to provide a wider customer base for both of us?
If you are interested reply and we can discuss further.

Regards

Chris

Of course accompanied by the obligatory knob pic, to which I immediately creamed my knickers  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 22 August 2011, 05:12:44 pm
A text

Tony, the eternal optimist: I offer massage, wondered if you fancied a reciprocal time. Tony

Me: OK, I could do with a good lower back massage as I strained it yesterday, lifting some heavy boxes. How much an hour do you charge?

Tony, the eternal optimist: I won't charge anything and look forward now to give you a massage.

Me: OK. I only charge ?9000 / hour to let strangers touch my body. When you have coin, book me. xxx

Tony, the eternal optimist:  *



*No reply, still waiting..... :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 22 August 2011, 05:23:07 pm
Another text
A couple of text messages from Richie, enquiring about site URL and multi-hour bookings, followed by this:

Richie the Text haggler Would u not be able to do a better deal?

Me:  Would you not be able to find a cheaper Transsexual Escort?

Richie the Text haggler Unless u know any prob not x

Me: No reply sent*



*but thinks, "Ain't life a bitch!"    ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 22 August 2011, 06:04:40 pm
"Hello Tera, i have asked you this before,but i hope you dont mind me asking again just in case you change your mind, because you are the most stunning woman ive seen, for good money, would you be in a catfighting contest, ( hairpulling only ). Im sorry to ask again,but i just think you would be a total winner, and certainly a crowd puller. I will not trouble you again if the answer is no. Thanx babe. xxx"


Right. I TOTALLY changed my mind and decided to opt in for violence. Duh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 24 August 2011, 01:17:20 am
Have any ladies had this email?

Yes he even confesses he's email (the exact same) email before. I declined last time as he's asking for services I don't offer (and i am not interested in bookings where they are so specific of what they want reeks of TW).

I didn't respond this time but it's interesting after 2 emails he only has feedback for phone chat. Such an obvious timewaster I'm wondering how many else have had the same email?

"You look fantastic babe!

I Would love to meet up with you...

I think I may have sent this to you before but I've been away for a couple of months but now I'm back.

I'm going to be honest with you, I have a girl friend who I love very much... But I am obsessed with big juicy firm breasts - and she isn't busty at all, I'd never cheat on her but I just want to satisfy my needs. And you are so gorgeous and I'd love to see you.

I have a very particular sense of what I would like, so I'm just going to write down what I would desire... here goes

The minute we walk in the room you smother/suffocate me with your Breasts and don't let me go...

Then, you just sit me down in a chair and give me the most oiliest, filthiest, Titwank ever while you talk dirty to me!

You to talk to me really dirty, almost humiliating me. Treating me like a little boy & telling me how much you want to milk me between your amazing breasts (But not S&M though)

Finally, I might like (depending how it goes) to try rimming... I've never had it done to me before & my girlfriend won't do it - just thought if you were really good at it I might want to see if it gets me off?

If everything's cool, great. If there's anything you might not want to do, just let me know.

Jesus I can't wait, if you could give me a call or email back & let me know if everything's cool that would be fantastic."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ace on 24 August 2011, 01:08:59 pm
text received yesterday

"orite m8 tried to get ur website but nt workin"

"hello, have you tried typing it into the bar rather than clicking the link"

"oh no wht's the addi?" (so you haven't even looked at the link then...headesk)

A bit later he texts back.

"So will you blow me for ?20 or wht?"


I'm yet to reply.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 24 August 2011, 01:22:30 pm
Quote from: Ace on 24 August 2011, 01:08:59 pm
text received yesterday

"orite m8 tried to get ur website but nt workin"

"hello, have you tried typing it into the bar rather than clicking the link"

"oh no wht's the addi?" (so you haven't even looked at the link then...headesk)

A bit later he texts back.

"So will you blow me for ?20 or wht?"


I'm yet to reply.

Reply, reply!!! Don't let this gem get away!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 24 August 2011, 01:31:52 pm
Seriously! That is brilliant!  I'd like to blow him away with a double barrel shotgun! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 24 August 2011, 03:06:39 pm
I had a guy ask if he could cum 6 times in an hour, and I politely told him it was impossible, but he was welcome to try. He promptly told me 'you are very arrogant for a common prostitute,'  :o :-\ Idiots lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 24 August 2011, 03:26:12 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 24 August 2011, 03:06:39 pm
I had a guy ask if he could cum 6 times in an hour, and I politely told him it was impossible, but he was welcome to try. He promptly told me 'you are very arrogant for a common prostitute,'  :o :-\ Idiots lol

Does that mean if you were a blue blooded prossie you would be entititled to arrogance?? :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 24 August 2011, 03:50:09 pm
Emails today:

HIM: hello beautiful, where roughly in colchester are you? xx

ME: Around the town area. XX

HIM: lol around the town area, you could say that about anywhere and be anywhere..

ME: I don't offer incalls, so you wouldn't need to know where I am, hun. Sorry.

HIM: lol i know i dont need to know, could of said that in the first place x



Am I the only one who has no idea what the point of that was? It states clearly on my profile that I do not offer incalls...

xx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kayci on 24 August 2011, 06:43:21 pm
My lil gem of a mail today
erm hiya there ,, erm dunno what to say really , i feel kinda a little low and upset at the mo to be honest ,, am real shy . also i am Looking FOR good private friends aswell,? also u really do sound so down to earth and sweet would really hope u get back for a chat >? x ohh and nice pics x and wud u at all be interested in being friends at sum stage with me aswell , as i am a nice genuine person also ?x and yr the ebst i've seen on this site hun and thats being so so true and honest >? be great to get to know u aswell if thats ok ? hope that u do actually get back :)
Then this one i got a few months ago tho alil different is the same email with the same child level of grammer.
erm hiya there ,, erm dunno what to say really , i feel kinda a little low and upset at the mo to be honest ,, am real shy . also i am Looking FOR good private friends aswell,? also u really do sound so down to earth and sweet would really hope u get back for a chat >? x ohh and nice pics yr the best i've seenx and wud u at all be interested in being friends at sum stage with me aswell , as i am a nice genuine person also ?x and yr the ebst i've seen on this site hun and thats being so so true and honest >? be great to get to know u also as well as booking your time babes cuz i also know yr a human being and a friendly sounding one at that x :)x

Ladies plase observe the lack of grammer, that annoyed more me that him just trying to be friends.  I advised him if he would like to book me (as a friend or whatever else) then would be best to call me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 24 August 2011, 09:10:48 pm
Quote from: Kayci on 24 August 2011, 06:43:21 pm
My lil gem of a mail today
erm hiya there ,, erm dunno what to say really , i feel kinda a little low and upset at the mo to be honest ,, am real shy . also i am Looking FOR good private friends aswell,? also u really do sound so down to earth and sweet would really hope u get back for a chat >? x ohh and nice pics x and wud u at all be interested in being friends at sum stage with me aswell , as i am a nice genuine person also ?x and yr the ebst i've seen on this site hun and thats being so so true and honest >? be great to get to know u aswell if thats ok ? hope that u do actually get back :)
Then this one i got a few months ago tho alil different is the same email with the same child level of grammer.
erm hiya there ,, erm dunno what to say really , i feel kinda a little low and upset at the mo to be honest ,, am real shy . also i am Looking FOR good private friends aswell,? also u really do sound so down to earth and sweet would really hope u get back for a chat >? x ohh and nice pics yr the best i've seenx and wud u at all be interested in being friends at sum stage with me aswell , as i am a nice genuine person also ?x and yr the ebst i've seen on this site hun and thats being so so true and honest >? be great to get to know u also as well as booking your time babes cuz i also know yr a human being and a friendly sounding one at that x :)x

Ladies plase observe the lack of grammer, that annoyed more me that him just trying to be friends.  I advised him if he would like to book me (as a friend or whatever else) then would be best to call me.

Perhaps he should hire you as a grammar tutor?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 25 August 2011, 12:14:37 pm
Not really a booking request, but still annoying all the same.

:

hi how are you im just wondering if your interested in using my underwater camcorder to make movies and videos they will be in full HD im professional and wouldnt expect anything in return in terms of sexual services the videos can be as long as you require either in your bath, shower, hot tub or if your lucky enough to have your own pool i can then upload the videos straight to you computer or email them to you after editing if you require. please email me back on here or you can text me on 07538 ***** and i will call you back to have a chat about what you want.

hope to hear from you soon


:

Anyone else had this?
x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 25 August 2011, 06:29:46 pm
Quote
Hi can I make a booking? When are you in the city center?

Quote
Hi there! I'm in the city center tonight and working until 11pm and from 6am to 11am tomorrow XxX

Quote
Great! So can I have an appointment for 2?

Headdesk
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 25 August 2011, 09:37:39 pm
i want your pussy


How can I resist! Yeah baby, your succinct sensual prose has got me all steamy, I can see that a booking with you would be a challenging and interesting meeting of minds...if ONLY I knew what time, date and place you wanted to see me...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 25 August 2011, 10:42:27 pm
Quote from: Kayci on 24 August 2011, 06:43:21 pm
Ladies plase observe the lack of grammer, that annoyed more me that him just trying to be friends.  I advised him if he would like to book me (as a friend or whatever else) then would be best to call me.

You know what really really bugs me about emails like this is that we don't get a say in it. I had a guy on cam last night put up is email address saying add me to msn so we can be friends?! Who said I want to be your friend?!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 25 August 2011, 11:43:32 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 25 August 2011, 09:37:39 pm
i want your pussy


How can I resist! Yeah baby, your succinct sensual prose has got me all steamy, I can see that a booking with you would be a challenging and interesting meeting of minds...if ONLY I knew what time, date and place you wanted to see me...

Amen! I've had 'Ur so hot gal,' and 'I wanna fuck you so bad.'  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ellie_e on 26 August 2011, 01:27:31 am
My best of the day

"r u indian?"

 my profile says "british" and I'm so pale I'm almost blue.  Tempted to reply back with

"do you have eyes?"


2nd place
"It would be nice to hear you and spend some memorable momemnts.
What is your philosophy?
What is the secret of your vop?"

vop?  vop??!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 26 August 2011, 01:36:18 am
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 25 August 2011, 11:43:32 pm
'I wanna fuck you so bad.'  ::)

To be fair, that probably IS exactly what he would do :D

R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 26 August 2011, 02:42:02 am
Quote from: Rooby on 26 August 2011, 01:36:18 am
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 25 August 2011, 11:43:32 pm
'I wanna fuck you so bad.'  ::)

To be fair, that probably IS exactly what he would do :D

R xx


LMAO :-) I must remember that next time someone says "I want to fuck you so bad!"
Brilliant!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelaManchester on 26 August 2011, 09:44:06 am
This beauty waiting for me in my AW inbox today:

i could see you today before 6, providing you could

1) wear a sleeveless vest/tshirt
2) wear a tight smelly+dirty+sweaty bra
3) allow me to lick your armpits
4) you happy to lick and suck my balls
5) allow me to fuck you at least 2 times and one wank over your tits and have shower with me again, you massaging and cleaning my balls and cock and me massaging and cleaning your whole body.

let me know,
xxx

Funnily enough, it's the first sentence which pisses me off the most, the rest I could probably handle  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 26 August 2011, 11:13:04 am
Quote from: AngelaManchester on 26 August 2011, 09:44:06 am
This beauty waiting for me in my AW inbox today:

i could see you today before 6, providing you could

1) wear a sleeveless vest/tshirt
2) wear a tight smelly+dirty+sweaty bra
3) allow me to lick your armpits
4) you happy to lick and suck my balls
5) allow me to fuck you at least 2 times and one wank over your tits and have shower with me again, you massaging and cleaning my balls and cock and me massaging and cleaning your whole body.

let me know,
xxx

Funnily enough, it's the first sentence which pisses me off the most, the rest I could probably handle  :)

It is so good to know that people are so generous with their time... very nice of him to make it practically a favour to you. Some folks are so thoughtful!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 26 August 2011, 11:23:22 am
Oh my god, that's hilarious  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 26 August 2011, 12:40:12 pm
Quote from: xw5 on 22 August 2011, 02:11:23 pm
Quote from: tastylass on 22 August 2011, 10:55:08 am
The main problem I'd see is the risk that if he 'won' the first time, he wouldn't come back again.

I am not in any way a 'good' magician, but if you played this with me, then amazingly enough the empty envelope would be picked every time. This sort of thing is basic magic, so I would say your main problem is that you end up shagging a magician for free...

I think I can see how to set this one up so that you get the money any time you want it*. So if anyone wants to offer me a commission...

* Yeah, yeah, but winning every time is a) a bit greedy and b) very suspicious!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 26 August 2011, 04:44:37 pm
Booking request by phone. Very nice. Calls back to confirm... Cool.
I can't hear him after a bit so he offers to text.
He does, and wants to change neighborhood. ...okay. Ask for landline and address.
"Can't do it, I have a family. We will have to improvise."
to which I respond, "What do you mean by improvise? I need a landline and address to give to my security contact, not to have a chat. ;)."
His response. "We'll be in public."
Mine. "Having sex?"
Him: "In my car."
Mine: "In that case, no. I don't do carmeets. I wish you'd specified that at the beginning."


stay tuned.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 26 August 2011, 06:18:54 pm
Quote from: Your Tera on 26 August 2011, 11:13:04 am
Quote from: AngelaManchester on 26 August 2011, 09:44:06 am
This beauty waiting for me in my AW inbox today:

i could see you today before 6, providing you could

1) wear a sleeveless vest/tshirt
2) wear a tight smelly+dirty+sweaty bra
3) allow me to lick your armpits
4) you happy to lick and suck my balls
5) allow me to fuck you at least 2 times and one wank over your tits and have shower with me again, you massaging and cleaning my balls and cock and me massaging and cleaning your whole body.

let me know,
xxx

Funnily enough, it's the first sentence which pisses me off the most, the rest I could probably handle  :)


Urgh...it's the second one that would have me pressing delete/block.

Sometimes no matter what the money , I'd rather starve and he's a prime example.



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 27 August 2011, 02:33:19 pm
"we r 2 frnds coming to London on 10 sept.We nee MMF sex.If u r ok then plz provode details of u"

So tempting! I'm not working that day and I dont offer appointments for two people - but seeing as you asked SO nicely...!

R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 27 August 2011, 03:25:11 pm
Quote from: Rooby on 27 August 2011, 02:33:19 pm
"we r 2 frnds coming to London on 10 sept.We nee MMF sex.If u r ok then plz provode details of u"

So tempting! I'm not working that day and I dont offer appointments for two people - but seeing as you asked SO nicely...!

R xx

Hope they're coming to London for some English language lessons!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 27 August 2011, 04:21:19 pm
It must be my day for them. This has just arrived...

"Good morning,im french  i will come to london very soon and i am a follower of trampling that i am used Practice since long lasting fog fluid,I would like to know if you agree Step on my body,sorry for my bad english ^^ ,Hoping a reply kiss."

I can deal with the poor English as its far better than my French, but I cannot fathom what the hell 'fog fluid' might be  ???

R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 27 August 2011, 04:34:29 pm
Quote from: Rooby on 27 August 2011, 04:21:19 pm
It must be my day for them. This has just arrived...

"Good morning,im french  i will come to london very soon and i am a follower of trampling that i am used Practice since long lasting fog fluid,I would like to know if you agree Step on my body,sorry for my bad english ^^ ,Hoping a reply kiss."

I can deal with the poor English as its far better than my French, but I cannot fathom what the hell 'fog fluid' might be  ???

R xx

lmao  ...nope that's baffled me too!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 27 August 2011, 06:20:56 pm
Fog fluid??? Er...?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 27 August 2011, 08:13:31 pm
Quote from: xw5 on 26 August 2011, 12:40:12 pm
I think I can see how to set this one up so that you get the money any time you want it*. So if anyone wants to offer me a commission...

* Yeah, yeah, but winning every time is a) a bit greedy and b) very suspicious!

and c) serves the cheeky git right..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ace on 28 August 2011, 06:28:09 pm
Yes of course, repeatedly calling and texting me after I made it clear that I don't offer "sex" in sessions and saying "are you crazy boy?? I want sex wiv u!" in a message is exactly how to book a pro dom >.<

eejits! >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 28 August 2011, 08:01:36 pm
Quote from: Ace on 28 August 2011, 06:28:09 pm
Yes of course, repeatedly calling and texting me after I made it clear that I don't offer "sex" in sessions and saying "are you crazy boy?? I want sex wiv u!" in a message is exactly how to book a pro dom >.<

eejits! >:(

ha ha ha:-)

I just had an idiot call me and I said I'm at the carnival and then having a quiet night at home with my sons. He said ok...but then sent a text saying..."Can you just squeeze me in for an hour, I'll book a hotel right next to where you live so you can pop out without your sons knowing" lmao
Hmmm, think if we're all sat watching a movie and sharing a bowl of popcorn they may just notice me get dolled up and disappear for an hour or two!
As you said...eejits!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 28 August 2011, 08:23:23 pm
Hahaha!
I took the weekend off and when I turned on my work phone, I had loads of messages telling me off for taking time off. Apparently it inconveniences them and I shouldn't do it :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 28 August 2011, 09:11:35 pm
Had to switch cam off tonight, full day of wasters, began with my first visitor saying "fuck you" and leaving (that was all he said, no greeting or chit chat) and I ended my cam day with zero earnings and after this delightful convo:

(and yes, that below really is what he was calling himself!)
BigBlackScaryRapist:  "what u wearing"
Me: *double clicking connection ready to KICK PERMANENTLY* "white top and black panties"
BigBlackScaryRapist: "looks blu 2 me"
Me: "OK it looks blue on your screen :) "
BigBlackScaryRapist: "fuck dis shit"

*KICKED*

Waste of time and huge annoyances on there today for me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 28 August 2011, 09:24:14 pm
^^^^
thank you Cat for taking away the guilt I was feeling for not logging in tonight.

on another note received this gem of an email:

'Subject: hello
-----------------------------------------------------------------
hi sweety can you fuck me hard in ass?'

so tempting  ::)  'sweety'??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 28 August 2011, 11:59:36 pm
Quote from: Ace on 28 August 2011, 06:28:09 pm
Yes of course, repeatedly calling and texting me after I made it clear that I don't offer "sex" in sessions and saying "are you crazy boy?? I want sex wiv u!" in a message is exactly how to book a pro dom >.<

eejits! >:(

As glad as I am to offer Dom services it does attract a right bunch of..well eejits lol

Delightfull email conversation yesterday: Baring in mind I do outcalls only and I only offer mistress services to those I've discussed details with in advance

Him: Hi there, are you free tonight? x
Me: Hi there..Obvious next question..where? when? etc
Him: Do you have a dungeon for incalls?
Me: My profile clearly states..several times OUTCALLS ONLY!
Him: OK no problem, can you bring toys and utensils to my place? (Utensils???)
Me: Ignored forever...
Him: Interested??? Let's fuck?!

 ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kimba on 29 August 2011, 12:22:14 am
Utensils! Love it! ;D

If you also supplied the condiments and can of Irn Bru, maybe he would have treated you to a fish'n'chip supper afterwards..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: scottishgirl001 on 29 August 2011, 12:51:47 pm
Quote from: Kurvy-Kate on 27 August 2009, 08:14:05 pm
I don't take bookings by text! This guy texted a couple of times so I told him to call me for an an appointment. Got about 8 texts straight after one another, I replied CALL ME FOR AN APPOINTMENT!!!!! I can't I'm driving!!!

Or the ones who ask for an OAP discount!!

It really makes you think sometimes dusn't it.  ::)

xx

 ;D :)   Like an OAP hairdresser discount?   Oh ..... has anyone noticed something?   I see quite a lot of 'elderly' men in their twilight years (usually very nice men) and they are at pains to tell me 'how much they love their wives etc' but their wife won't do sex at all and so on.  Some sympathy there until the bedroom action starts and I end up thinking 'No bloody wonder???!!!!'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 29 August 2011, 04:17:44 pm
Quote from: scottishgirl001 on 29 August 2011, 12:51:47 pm
;D :)   Like an OAP hairdresser discount?   Oh ..... has anyone noticed something?   I see quite a lot of 'elderly' men in their twilight years (usually very nice men) and they are at pains to tell me 'how much they love their wives etc' but their wife won't do sex at all and so on.  Some sympathy there until the bedroom action starts and I end up thinking 'No bloody wonder???!!!!'

LMAO...Me and Cat soooooo know what you mean!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 29 August 2011, 04:19:01 pm
Quote from: Coty on 29 August 2011, 04:17:44 pm
Quote from: scottishgirl001 on 29 August 2011, 12:51:47 pm
;D :)   Like an OAP hairdresser discount?   Oh ..... has anyone noticed something?   I see quite a lot of 'elderly' men in their twilight years (usually very nice men) and they are at pains to tell me 'how much they love their wives etc' but their wife won't do sex at all and so on.  Some sympathy there until the bedroom action starts and I end up thinking 'No bloody wonder???!!!!'

LMAO...Me and Cat soooooo know what you mean!

 8) ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 30 August 2011, 09:09:24 am
Quote from: MissArcaBunny on 21 August 2011, 07:19:02 pm
Got these last night from B1G0NE on AW, I'm guessing that's Big One, not Bi Gone lol:

Quote
Hi I'm gaz fit muscular young hung horny guy 29 from Washington near newcastle. Are you free tonight? would love to meet you can accom, come to you or meet outdoors for car fun?


077379504**

Gaz
x
Market research time:
Quote
Hi Gaz!

Can I just ask did you read my profile at all?

I've put a lot of effort into making it as easy as possible to read, but I find I still get emails like yours, asking if I'm free on short notice on a Saturday night despite my profile saying

"Working hours: Out Calls - 9am to 7pm Mon to Fri - Late Evenings and Weekends with Advanced Booking Only.

In Calls - 10am to 4pm Monday to Friday- See In Call Tab for Details."

In bold and underlined and on the first page, as well as on 2 other pages.

So I would value your insight, please don't think I am being rude, but I would love to know what made you email me tonight?

Thanks

XxX

Quote
yeah sorry was just really keen to see u tonight so i thought i would try my luck. sorry for bothering you x
Oh wow! So maybe I'm making a break through training them one by one!  :D
Quote
No problem hun, was just looking for a guys POV to improve my profile

Thanks

XxX

Quote
no problem. so u not free at all tonight? x
Or maybe not  :-[
Quote
   
Nope, I am never available on a weekend or evening unless we arrange it before hand

XxX

Quote
awwww gutted so wanted to see u, im fit young hung horny guy 29, only after sampling your bj skills :) would be quick meet? x

Yes because I'm going to get out of my nice warm bed at 11pm, say taraa to my boyfriend, hoping he doesn't ask where I'm going and meet this young stud for a quick shag in the bushes, or travel all the way to his place for the privilege of what will probably he a rather crumpled ?20...

This guy is back, calling and texting me at 2am most nights despite the conversation above so last night I had enough and sent him this:

Quote
I noticed you have no escort feedback, so here are some helpful hints when dealing with escorts.


 8 simple rules to booking an escort:


1. Read her profile, absorb the information and understand that it applies to you.

2. Look at her working hours. If she says she doesn't work nights consider she may have a partner, children or arrangements with friends, none of which she can just walk out on for the joy of a 30min roll in the hay.

3. Look at her prices and the length of appointment she offers. Often you will notice she has set a minimum.  Offering to see her for less than that minimum is NOT an incentive! You are essentially offering her less money for more hassle.

4. Look at her services offered. There are some things she will love, some things she will hate. It's likely that she has tried everything at least twice and if she says she doesn't like something it is not because she hasn't been doing it right without you.

5. Look at her location and if she offers in calls or out calls. She may not live alone and would find it hard to explain you coming and going at silly o clock in the morning, especially if she has a partner! She may also not want to go schlepping around the country at that time either.

6. Look at how she wants to be contacted. She will ask you to contact her in the most convenient way for her which will optimise your chance of getting a booking. It's unlikely she will ask for smoke signals or carrier pigeon if these methods haven't been found to work for her.

7. Speak to her with respect. You are not ordering a pizza or a taxi. You are asking for a human being to provide you with the most intimate servces imaginable. If you piss her off the booking is unlikely to go well, if it happens at all.

8. Do not ask for discount/freebies/personal details or a date. Unless you are willing to hand over your name, address, bank details, mothers maiden name and how you get a discount on your rent, bills and shopping, this will not go down well. Also, do you really think she doesn't have enough penisis in her life without adding one more for free?

Follow these simple instructions and  you will be on your way to a happy booking with a lovely lady. Tune in next week for Pre-Punt instructions
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 30 August 2011, 10:06:21 am
Two messages this weekend;

"Do you do Escorts?"
"Call me back"

Both in written form, from unrecognised sources. Needless to say I didn't.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 30 August 2011, 10:13:16 am
Quote from: strawberry on 30 August 2011, 10:06:21 am
Two messages this weekend;

"Do you do Escorts?"
"Call me back"

Both in written form, from unrecognised sources. Needless to say I didn't.

I got one just saying "Call me back" too, why do they think that will get them anywhere?

I also got a call last week that went like this

Me  - Hello
Him - Hi are you open
Me  -  (to my buddy)  ??? (to him) erm... I'm available today
My buddy - *shoves her fist in her mouth to stifle the giggles*
Him - Ok where are you?
Me - Near Newcastle
Him - Ok thanks, bye
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 30 August 2011, 11:05:40 am
Quote from: MissArcaBunny on 30 August 2011, 10:13:16 am
Quote from: strawberry on 30 August 2011, 10:06:21 am
Two messages this weekend;

"Do you do Escorts?"
"Call me back"

Both in written form, from unrecognised sources. Needless to say I didn't.

I got one just saying "Call me back" too, why do they think that will get them anywhere?

I also got a call last week that went like this

Me  - Hello
Him - Hi are you open
Me  -  (to my buddy)  ??? (to him) erm... I'm available today
My buddy - *shoves her fist in her mouth to stifle the giggles*
Him - Ok where are you?
Me - Near Newcastle
Him - Ok thanks, bye

Considering it was sent somewhere between 9pm and 8am I certainly was not phoning 'back'. Call me cynical but I've done enough calling 'midnighters' back to know I'd be wasting my time.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 31 August 2011, 03:18:50 pm
The bank holiday must have scrambled all their brains! Today I have had...

4 messages left on AW from over bank holiday weekend going " I wanted to call you for an appointment but your number isn't displayed, whyyyyyy???"

Well good sir, if you look right at the top of my profile you will see that it says, in BOLD, that I am away for the entire bank holiday weekend. Do you possibly think I may have removed my number for that reason, hmmmm? ::)

A phone call from a man at 3pm informing me he was near my flat and ready to be directed there for our appointment. All well and good but his booking wasn't until 3.30pm. When I informed him of this he insisted that I had said 3pm and that he wanted to come and see me there and then. Well be my guest mate if you want me unshowered and smelling of my last client! Eventually he put the phone down and I took great delight in forwarding to him the texts that we had exchanged to confirm his booking at 3.30pm. I'm still waiting for a response funnily enough ;D

The guy who emailed me over weekend and I replied telling him my availability for this week. He then emailed me back saying "Cool, well let me know when you are back in London". I took a deep breath and kindly replied saying I had given him my availability already and it was up to him to let me know if he wanted to arrange a booking. He relied going "OK, what days are you free?" <<headdesks until my brains fall out of my ears>>
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 01 September 2011, 12:51:08 am
Seriously, it makes you question the sanity of some people. I got told off for taking the bank holiday off  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: southcoastkitty on 01 September 2011, 10:20:00 pm
Not so much a call but when I saw a guy about 6 years ago he paid me out of his change jar, amazing how heavy ?150 is in change!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 01 September 2011, 10:29:19 pm
Quote from: southcoastkitty on 01 September 2011, 10:20:00 pm
Not so much a call but when I saw a guy about 6 years ago he paid me out of his change jar, amazing how heavy ?150 is in change!

did you sit and count it all?? on his time i hope!  :o You know shops have a right to refuse to accept too much change I'd say the same applies for us lol 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 02 September 2011, 12:17:47 am
Okay ladies here's a charmer from AW.

Comes into freeview asking if I'm available for an overnight tomorrow.

After a short chat I ask what time, he says he'll email me. I go to read the email expecting the booking details and the conversation goes like this:

lonelyheart2: you can add me to msn on idiotloser@hotmail.co.uk xxxxx
me: (ignoring such request) Hi there, I am available for tomorrow evening, To confirm though I will need hotel and a booking start time. and of course room number when you have it but I'll need it before I leave. cheers
lonelyheart2: add me to msn please xx
me: That is not an option sorry
lonelyheart2: well fuck you
lonelyheart2: giving you my money is not an option either so fuck off

eh..charming!

One to add to your ignore list ladies  ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 02 September 2011, 01:19:26 am
Quote from: southcoastkitty on 01 September 2011, 10:20:00 pm
Not so much a call but when I saw a guy about 6 years ago he paid me out of his change jar, amazing how heavy ?150 is in change!

When my eldest son was then 17 and sweet and innocent, his mate dragged him into a lap dancing club. He only had change and tried to give it to one of the dancers. She said to him, "" I aint a f***ing money box love" and danced off somewhere else! lmao
Oh how I love to remind him of that now he's 32:-)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 02 September 2011, 01:21:38 am
Quote from: Friday on 02 September 2011, 12:17:47 am
Okay ladies here's a charmer from AW.

Comes into freeview asking if I'm available for an overnight tomorrow.

After a short chat I ask what time, he says he'll email me. I go to read the email expecting the booking details and the conversation goes like this:

lonelyheart2: you can add me to msn on idiotloser@hotmail.co.uk xxxxx
me: (ignoring such request) Hi there, I am available for tomorrow evening, To confirm though I will need hotel and a booking start time. and of course room number when you have it but I'll need it before I leave. cheers
lonelyheart2: add me to msn please xx
me: That is not an option sorry
lonelyheart2: well fuck you
lonelyheart2: giving you my money is not an option either so fuck off

eh..charming!

One to add to your ignore list ladies  ::) ::) ::)


I don't think giving you his money was an option in the first place...I think some free chat and web cam action on msn was what he had in mind!

HUGS though, it's horrid when they get nasty:-( X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 02 September 2011, 01:51:14 am
Quote from: Coty on 02 September 2011, 01:21:38 am
HUGS though, it's horrid when they get nasty:-( X

Awe tbh it was so childish I couldn't really take offense!! lol x

Especially to send a second email I mean how sad! Definitely bothered him more than it did me lol but also so out of line yes I will be passing his username about
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 02 September 2011, 08:46:37 am
Any one that tries to phone you or make a booking whilst on direct cam is a fantasist.  (Some one may know different but I doubt it).

I never answer my phone when I am on cam as I know it is someone trying to get free chat.  Anyone asking for a booking is told to ring me tomorrow as I am busy camming at the moment.  Never do.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 02 September 2011, 12:16:02 pm
-
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 02 September 2011, 12:48:23 pm
*heavy sigh*

I get a call on Tuesday from some one I have seen before but havent heard from since April, we chat and catch up and then he asks me if I am available that afternoon. I answer 'no I don't do same day bookings' and say the earliest appointment I have is Friday.

Thursday he calls me at around 4pm and asks me if I can do a booking that day....an out call...and could I be there in the next hour and a half. I answer 'no sorry, can't make it on that sort of notice, I don't do same day bookings.'
the annoying thing is that my evening plans had fallen through and IF he had of called me in the morning I MAY have been tempted to do it... I'm on holiday next week and wouldn't mind picking up some extra cash.

this morning I turn on my phone and there is an voice mail from him asking me if I could do a late afternoon booking with him today. aaarrrrggghhhh!!!!! *extended swearing riff*

Im annoying myself by considering doing the job, even tho I have booked in a relaxation and health appointment for myself this afternoon and it would mean rushing afterwards.

>edit< so he calls me again and we discuss possibilities. He seems to think I have developed super ninja powers and can leap from my accupuncture appt to his place in a single bound ....so as not to disrupt his plans to get out of London for the weekend. conversation ends with being me telling him if he had of booked the appointment on Tuesday (or even when he called yesterday!) I would have been able to arrange something, but NO as it stands, too short notice. Let's try again another time.

*slaps self very hard* *plans to slap client EVEN HARDER if he ever gets his act together for a booking*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 02 September 2011, 02:50:26 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 02 September 2011, 12:16:02 pm
who spent 30 mins in private chat just detailing this long overnight booking we were going to have (!)

ah see that's different if they're paying for private they can fantasies all they like! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelaManchester on 02 September 2011, 08:20:50 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 02 September 2011, 12:16:02 pm
He kept licking the screen in this really icky way

Bleurgh!  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kimba on 02 September 2011, 08:35:59 pm
That's what I thought! - Still, at least it wasn't your face eh? ( Had that before!  :P )
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 02 September 2011, 10:06:06 pm
Persistance DOESN'T pay!!

HIM enters the room
HIM: u meeting 2nite hun
CatBBW: sorry hun :(
HIM: y
CatBBW: booked on here, and I don't do short notice meets
HIM: ill cum 2 u bot midnight
CatBBW: I don't do incalls
CatBBW: outcalls only
CatBBW: any other time you'd like to see me?
HIM: come to mine im free all nite
HIM: in barnet (my note - other side of bleedin London!)
HIM: how much
CatBBW: It's too late for me to go out now, plz message me with any other time you'd like
HIM: dont u have driver hun
CatBBW: no, I'm independent, and my security guy isn't working with me tonight
HIM: veiw my cam quickly u mite wanna c me
HIM: veiw me and decide
HIM: ill cum 2 u will be fun
HIM: have a few drinks
HIM: watch u while u play on cam
CatBBW: My husband won't be happy with that hun
HIM leaves the room


*head=desk*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 02 September 2011, 10:06:42 pm
Quote from: kimba on 02 September 2011, 08:35:59 pm
That's what I thought! - Still, at least it wasn't your face eh? ( Had that before!  :P )

I had a guy who wanted me to lick his neck and he wanted to lick mine it was horrid I had to refuse it once he started lol  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 02 September 2011, 11:40:25 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 02 September 2011, 10:06:06 pm
Persistance DOESN'T pay!!

HIM enters the room
HIM: u meeting 2nite hun
CatBBW: sorry hun :(
HIM: y
CatBBW: booked on here, and I don't do short notice meets
HIM: ill cum 2 u bot midnight
CatBBW: I don't do incalls
CatBBW: outcalls only
CatBBW: any other time you'd like to see me?
HIM: come to mine im free all nite
HIM: in barnet (my note - other side of bleedin London!)
HIM: how much
CatBBW: It's too late for me to go out now, plz message me with any other time you'd like
HIM: dont u have driver hun
CatBBW: no, I'm independent, and my security guy isn't working with me tonight
HIM: veiw my cam quickly u mite wanna c me
HIM: veiw me and decide
HIM: ill cum 2 u will be fun
HIM: have a few drinks
HIM: watch u while u play on cam
CatBBW: My husband won't be happy with that hun
HIM leaves the room


*head=desk*

Well, Cat... he sounds like ambrosia...your loss, obv!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 03 September 2011, 07:54:46 am
What is with the guys who message you on AW saying "I really want to see you this morning/now!" who then don't leave contact numbers and don't even read the reply email you send?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 03 September 2011, 07:33:05 pm
This texter is just the epitome of social ineptness!!
He has almost made it into an art form...
Him: I am in Bury now where r u
Me, (panicking- did I make an appt I forgot about??): "Who might this be?"
Him: Dave*
Me: I only give my address 2 booked appts, and u r not booked
Him: I am makeing one OK**
Him:  I whant to suck ur pussy**
This did not elect a response from me so...Phone rings!
Him: "Garble Garble"
Me: "Pardon"
Him: "Garble garble, rhubarb rhubarb
Me: "Pardon? I can't understand you"
Him: " Garble, Dave*, garble in Bury now, garble you NOW!"
Me: "Did you send me those inappropriate texts?"
Him: (proudly) "Yes!"
Me: "Goodbye"

* name changed to protect the socially challenged
** speeling micksteaks included
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 03 September 2011, 07:52:49 pm
Haha I know I was actually thankful for the long private since i was getting really short ones the whole afternoon, but he really was replusive, and I usually like all kinds of people - physically and mentally. but something about him and his mannerisms just SCREAMED  creepy creepy weirdo!!! Just that intuition. He sent shivers down my spine! If he turned up on an incall one day I would have totally freaked straight away lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ace on 03 September 2011, 11:14:29 pm
 >:(


Got ANOTHER phone call from the guy who keeps asking

"hello, u can see me tomorow? "
Me: "It depends where you are and what sort of booking you want"
Him: "ok how much you charge?"
Me: "?xxx for 1 hour ?yyy for two"
Him: "oh ok, you do for less for me?"
Me: "no, my rates are fixed"
Him:" Ok I see you tomorow 4 o clock?"
Me:" I tell you what, if you want to make a booking, go to my website like I keep asking you to and message me with more detail"
Him:" I don't like websites"
Me: " well you can't make a booking for tomorow at half 10 at night over the phone it's too short notice"
Him: "ok, how big your cock?"
Me: *put phone down*


what is wrong with some people!!!!???

I can bet i'll get a call from him tomorow too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 04 September 2011, 05:55:45 pm
Heres the text of a guy who emailed me today


Hi,

I have just read your profile and you sound and look amazing!

Are you free today as I would like to come see you and can you do anything on your rates?

Thanks
B

Bloody cheek my rates are my rates! He will not be hearing from me needless to say....
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 04 September 2011, 09:57:05 pm
Just now on cam...I'm still giggling.... ;D

HIM: want a toy boy x
CatBBW: hi
CatBBW: what you looking for :)
HIM: i want a fuck buddie x
CatBBW: I'm sure you'll find one soon :)
HIM: i want u as mine
CatBBW: I already have 2
CatBBW: you tried the freesex and dating sites?
HIM: have me 2 x
CatBBW: I don't have time for another, babe
HIM: oh ok.
HIM: ive got 10 inch cock
CatBBW: have you got ?150?

HIM leaves the room



Best laff I've had all day :D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 04 September 2011, 11:15:35 pm
...and a delicious email just in...

"play wiv ya shitter, hun ?"


MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! Hold me back, my juices are a-flowing!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TSgirl on 04 September 2011, 11:17:28 pm
First post here, so hello all! Great resource this.

I received this today...

"hi i have ?5o would you visit as soon as poss thanks"

Never met or corresponded before...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 04 September 2011, 11:23:44 pm
Quote from: ChristineTS on 04 September 2011, 11:17:28 pm
First post here, so hello all! Great resource this.

I received this today...

"hi i have ?5o would you visit as soon as poss thanks"

Never met or corresponded before...


Hi, welcome! :) Your fan sounds delicious, HOW could you resist :D ;D

A tasty reply for me would be "so you only want a 5 minute booking??"  8)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 04 September 2011, 11:32:28 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 04 September 2011, 11:23:44 pm
Quote from: ChristineTS on 04 September 2011, 11:17:28 pm
First post here, so hello all! Great resource this.

I received this today...

"hi i have ?5o would you visit as soon as poss thanks"

Never met or corresponded before...


I got a text from someone I'd seen before but he spelled his NAME wrong so I didn't answer, immediately. He wanted to pay less ?? so I offered less time, but I was too late for him. I think I posted about this already...
Next day, another text, much more polite, but...

He: "What can you do for ?60?"
 
I: "Not even leave my flat."

He: "Okay. It never hurts to ask."

I: (silently and with the use of my finger, but not the telephone keypad) "We'll just see about that, won't we?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 05 September 2011, 01:24:02 am
Ive had my phone off all weekend and had these texts arriving every hour or so. Believe it or not they make a lot more sense than the message he left on the answerphone...
Does he win?

R xx

I want appointment tomorrow i like big gril my name xxx wat size u
hy i take u numar internet i want wisit u my name xxx from london
ring my numar nau
i come tmorow i live angel ol
when i come
you come me nau
give me app i come now
when
when you come london keep my numar call me ok
when when when
gut morning u want i come 12am i live kings coross
sorry i push wrong buton text i come to u agaian baceau i want to delete txt i push wrong buton sory wat size u
when i com
sory ruby
come nau i good
when i come or you come me i live angel come nau
wat size u
i lik wery fat wat size girl u
u nau london
when u come
when
u visit me now
when u working
come visit me nau NAU
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 05 September 2011, 01:55:24 am
OMFG Rooby - send him my way, I am IN LOVE!!!  :o


(seriously pmsl here!!!!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 05 September 2011, 01:45:59 pm
Him:
Quote
can you do 15 for ?20 today at 4?

Me:
Quote
Nope

why can't they all be that simple?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 05 September 2011, 02:11:21 pm
Quote from: Rooby on 05 September 2011, 01:24:02 am
I want appointment tomorrow i like big gril my name xxx wat size u
hy i take u numar internet i want wisit u my name xxx from london
ring my numar nau
i come tmorow i live angel ol
when i come
you come me nau
give me app i come now
when
when you come london keep my numar call me ok
when when when
gut morning u want i come 12am i live kings coross
sorry i push wrong buton text i come to u agaian baceau i want to delete txt i push wrong buton sory wat size u
when i com
sory ruby
come nau i good
when i come or you come me i live angel come nau
wat size u
i lik wery fat wat size girl u
u nau london
when u come
when
u visit me now
when u working
come visit me nau NAU

Oh my god he's a like a drunk oversexed Tellytubby!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pearl on 05 September 2011, 02:26:39 pm
Quote from: Rooby on 05 September 2011, 01:24:02 am
I want appointment tomorrow i like big gril my name xxx wat size u
hy i take u numar internet i want wisit u my name xxx from london
ring my numar nau
i come tmorow i live angel ol
when i come
you come me nau
give me app i come now
when
when you come london keep my numar call me ok
when when when
gut morning u want i come 12am i live kings coross
sorry i push wrong buton text i come to u agaian baceau i want to delete txt i push wrong buton sory wat size u
when i com
sory ruby
come nau i good
when i come or you come me i live angel come nau
wat size u
i lik wery fat wat size girl u
u nau london
when u come
when
u visit me now
when u working
come visit me nau NAU

At this point, I think that there is not competition,
we can declare him as the winner of "How not to book an escort"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 05 September 2011, 02:40:22 pm
Quote from: Friday on 02 September 2011, 10:06:42 pm
Quote from: kimba on 02 September 2011, 08:35:59 pm
That's what I thought! - Still, at least it wasn't your face eh? ( Had that before!  :P )

I had a guy who wanted me to lick his neck and he wanted to lick mine it was horrid I had to refuse it once he started lol  :-X

Empathy.
Saturday I had a client who kept licking my face and kept trying to stick his tongue in my right ear!
Just yuk!

Our feelings would confuse the general public:
ie. "You are intimate with random strangers, but you find it icky if they try something
which in comparison (relatively speaking) is inconsequential."
It's called our boundary's and is essential for our mental well-being.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kinky By Nature on 05 September 2011, 02:46:35 pm
Quote from: Rooby on 05 September 2011, 01:24:02 am
Ive had my phone off all weekend and had these texts arriving every hour or so. Believe it or not they make a lot more sense than the message he left on the answerphone...
Does he win?

R xx

I want appointment tomorrow i like big gril my name xxx wat size u
hy i take u numar internet i want wisit u my name xxx from london
ring my numar nau
i come tmorow i live angel ol
when i come
you come me nau
give me app i come now
when
when you come london keep my numar call me ok
when when when
gut morning u want i come 12am i live kings coross
sorry i push wrong buton text i come to u agaian baceau i want to delete txt i push wrong buton sory wat size u
when i com
sory ruby
come nau i good
when i come or you come me i live angel come nau
wat size u
i lik wery fat wat size girl u
u nau london
when u come
when
u visit me now
when u working
come visit me nau NAU

Hi,
Is this person's name Ali? I had this bloke harassing me since last Wednesday and if he continues I'm going to report him.
He had called asking for a booking but then he wanted me to "send him details", which I assume means he wanted the address of my work flat. I told him I work at Earl's Court but something didn't feel right with him and I never text back anything.
From then on until yesterday he's been texting and calling me. On Saturday I finished a booking at Heathrow to switch my phone on to this, "Fuck u, way u not answer black monkey fuck off".  I text him back and said thank you for that message, I've tucked it away in my folder for when I report you to the police.

His messages are as follows:
I want wisit u i like big gril my name Ali send text to me i take ur numar internet sory i nau in bus
I wait detael t.row 11am ok u live early court
Gut morning u want i come 11.am aerly court yes
Call me morning
I come ok
It was at this time that I told him that I didn't want to see him, to please stop calling me as he was getting a bit obesessive. He then says:

Sory wat problem
Way u not want
Wat wrong u working i pay u money i am costume r for ***** she working bbw i give gut services i near u address.
Gut morning how are u i want wisit u plaes
i working aerlycourt kebab shop i want come 11.am ok
way u not answer
Fuck off way u not answer black monkey fuck off (it was then when I said I'd report him to the police)
i call u way u not answer i am not rascit i like all pepol sory befor i send text if u not work tough me i call u more time u not answer sory befor text i.am not rascit ok call me
I tough sory
Bilev me i like u if i dont like u way i call u i want visit u sory for befor ok call me
Realy sory bilev me i like u any mistake sory i.am not racsit sory

(Then two missed calls on Saturday night at 11pm then again at 12am)

This on yesterday morning:
Gut morning how are u when i wisit u

Inbetween this there was also missed calls, some when my phone was switched on. Some people seem not to know when to take no for an answer. My instincts were right and I'm glad I listened to them. I would've felt sick if I had seen him.
If he does persist I will report him to the police.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 05 September 2011, 02:48:22 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 04 September 2011, 05:55:45 pm
can you do anything on your rates?

Bloody cheek my rates are my rates!

We all get those via text or phone.
I usually reply:
Discount? OK
?1 off.
They quickly get the message
and I then deliberately sound confused as to why they were not bowed over by my simply huge reduction.   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ellie_e on 05 September 2011, 03:12:46 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 05 September 2011, 02:40:22 pm
Quote from: Friday on 02 September 2011, 10:06:42 pm
Quote from: kimba on 02 September 2011, 08:35:59 pm
That's what I thought! - Still, at least it wasn't your face eh? ( Had that before!  :P )

I had a guy who wanted me to lick his neck and he wanted to lick mine it was horrid I had to refuse it once he started lol  :-X

Empathy.
Saturday I had a client who kept licking my face and kept trying to stick his tongue in my right ear!
Just yuk!

Our feelings would confuse the general public:
ie. "You are intimate with random strangers, but you find it icky if they try something
which in comparison (relatively speaking) is inconsequential."
It's called our boundary's and is essential for our mental well-being.

I once had a client who spent a good amount of time licking out the insides of my nostrils
 :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 05 September 2011, 03:14:59 pm
Quote from: Ellie_e on 05 September 2011, 03:12:46 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 05 September 2011, 02:40:22 pm
Quote from: Friday on 02 September 2011, 10:06:42 pm
Quote from: kimba on 02 September 2011, 08:35:59 pm
That's what I thought! - Still, at least it wasn't your face eh? ( Had that before!  :P )

I had a guy who wanted me to lick his neck and he wanted to lick mine it was horrid I had to refuse it once he started lol  :-X

Empathy.
Saturday I had a client who kept licking my face and kept trying to stick his tongue in my right ear!
Just yuk!

Our feelings would confuse the general public:
ie. "You are intimate with random strangers, but you find it icky if they try something
which in comparison (relatively speaking) is inconsequential."
It's called our boundary's and is essential for our mental well-being.

I once had a client you spent a good amount of time licking out the insides of my nostrils
 :-X

What the...

But but but

I don't even...

Whaaaaaa?

 ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 05 September 2011, 03:47:39 pm
Quote from: Ellie_e on 05 September 2011, 03:12:46 pm
I once had a client you spent a good amount of time licking out the insides of my nostrils
 :-X

why just why would you allow this!!!  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelaManchester on 05 September 2011, 05:36:08 pm
Nostrils?!  PMSL.  Are there ANY holes they will leave alone?!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelaManchester on 05 September 2011, 05:38:14 pm
Quote from: ChristineTS on 04 September 2011, 11:17:28 pm
First post here, so hello all! Great resource this.

I received this today...

"hi i have ?5o would you visit as soon as poss thanks"

Never met or corresponded before...


Hi Christine  :)

PMSL. Just about covers the travelling expenses.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TSgirl on 05 September 2011, 05:52:49 pm
Heya  :)

He is in the same town, but there's no way I'm spending over an hour getting ready just for ?50! Not unless I have a few other bookings lined up after...

Though, if he chucks in a free nostril cleaning I might be interested  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ellie_e on 05 September 2011, 11:49:54 pm
Quote from: Friday on 05 September 2011, 03:47:39 pm
Quote from: Ellie_e on 05 September 2011, 03:12:46 pm
I once had a client you spent a good amount of time licking out the insides of my nostrils
 :-X

why just why would you allow this!!!  :-X

Unfortunately, at the time I didn't really feel that there was much I could do about it.  It was when I was on tour working through an agency and had had a fair few issues with the tour and clients in general, and was both lacking in general confidence and super paranoid that he would complain to the agency, on whom I was relying for work.  He was also easily double my size and this was in a country where a lot of clients unfortunately are not terribly respectful and girls are expected to do whatever the client wants.

The moral of the story, of course, is to avoid working through agencies!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: scottishgirl001 on 06 September 2011, 08:21:40 am
Quote from: Ellie_e on 05 September 2011, 11:49:54 pm
Quote from: Friday on 05 September 2011, 03:47:39 pm
Quote from: Ellie_e on 05 September 2011, 03:12:46 pm
I once had a client you spent a good amount of time licking out the insides of my nostrils
 :-X

why just why would you allow this!!!  :-X

Unfortunately, at the time I didn't really feel that there was much I could do about it.  It was when I was on tour working through an agency and had had a fair few issues with the tour and clients in general, and was both lacking in general confidence and super paranoid that he would complain to the agency, on whom I was relying for work.  He was also easily double my size and this was in a country where a lot of clients unfortunately are not terribly respectful and girls are expected to do whatever the client wants.

The moral of the story, of course, is to avoid working through agencies!

What country was this (so I can avoid going there!!)
I hope the experience didn't last too long!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 06 September 2011, 11:54:37 am
Quote from: Kinky By Nature on 05 September 2011, 02:46:35 pm
Is this person's name Ali? I had this bloke harassing me since last Wednesday and if he continues I'm going to report him.

Not sure of his name but his no is 07466 4**151.
(Sorry, this should probably be in the TW thread. He's been irritating me by relentlessly messaging me but I didnt feel he had been offensive or reached the stalkerish levels that you mention...  PM me if you want further details.)

R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: naughtyjas on 06 September 2011, 03:05:13 pm
Quote from: Rooby on 06 September 2011, 11:54:37 am
Quote from: Kinky By Nature on 05 September 2011, 02:46:35 pm
Is this person's name Ali? I had this bloke harassing me since last Wednesday and if he continues I'm going to report him.

Not sure of his name but his no is 07466 4**151.
(Sorry, this should probably be in the TW thread. He's been irritating me by relentlessly messaging me but I didnt feel he had been offensive or reached the stalkerish levels that you mention...  PM me if you want further details.)

R xx

I had him call me as well, said he was Turkish.  He told me he was near Liverpool Street Station.  He did make a booking, then text me offering me a ?100 an hour, then ?110 but not my actual price.   I text back upping my price to ?200.  Surprisingly he didn't like me haggling up.  I added him to my ignore list and he has tried to call a couple of times since.

I got the whole I love larger ladies spiel too.

Jas x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelEyes on 06 September 2011, 04:15:54 pm
I just thought I would share this with you all seeing as it is so ridiculous. I turned on my  computer today to check my emails and AW , as you do.


Amongst genuine stuff I discovered   an AW message form some guy saying he works in the industry hosting adult websites and would love to meet me with a hope of me becoming his girlfriend as its impossible to find a genuine girl who understands what he does. Then he adds that he likes to watch his partner with guys. Grrrrrrrr

Then, even more weird is the following:
I get a private email from someone saying they would like to meet and how do they book? So I explain about the AW form but that I always talk to prospective clients on the phone first. I post mobile and suggest a chat. I also ask if he has AW profile and if so can he post it.

He says he does and posts something. So I go to website; no such person exists.
Alarm bell number one. Why say you have  a profile if you don't?


Phone rings, Pick up. Yup it's him. I  ask him why he said he has a profile when he does not and that as a result I am unable to do booking. He says his friend is on the site but he is not can I reconsider.  He is looking for an out call. That should have been the end, but  just to test him I explained that for an out call I would need his full name etc etc.  To which his response was that his wife wouldn't be too happy with that. Wtf???????

I said well that's too bad but those are the details i would need.  He then gets aggressive and asks why  he would have to give  me such details.

him "you work under a false name. Why should I give you my details."
I explained that working under a pseudonym is for my own security and protection as is asking for such details when on an out call.

He then asks what if he books a hotel. I said that I would need his name and room number and why to which he just got more aggressive.  So I cut off the call.

Out of curiosity,  i rang the number that he called from. Number does not accept incoming calls.

My phone rang a few times after that from a with held number that I ignored. But I was left this charming voicemail"Yeah, well, I did not want to book a poxy hotel anyway. Waste of money and they have no soul just like you. Why don't you go and get a proper job?"

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


( HELLO  all mods/admin. Have I posted in wrong place....? again. have a funny feeling this should be in bilge/ bile or how not to bookan escort, world chamionships. please can you move if so?)





Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kinky By Nature on 06 September 2011, 04:54:07 pm
Quote from: naughtyjas on 06 September 2011, 03:05:13 pm
Quote from: Rooby on 06 September 2011, 11:54:37 am
Quote from: Kinky By Nature on 05 September 2011, 02:46:35 pm
Is this person's name Ali? I had this bloke harassing me since last Wednesday and if he continues I'm going to report him.

Not sure of his name but his no is 07466 4**151.
(Sorry, this should probably be in the TW thread. He's been irritating me by relentlessly messaging me but I didnt feel he had been offensive or reached the stalkerish levels that you mention...  PM me if you want further details.)

R xx

I had him call me as well, said he was Turkish.  He told me he was near Liverpool Street Station.  He did make a booking, then text me offering me a ?100 an hour, then ?110 but not my actual price.   I text back upping my price to ?200.  Surprisingly he didn't like me haggling up.  I added him to my ignore list and he has tried to call a couple of times since.

I got the whole I love larger ladies spiel too.

Jas x

Thanks Rooby. Yes, it is the same chap, it's the same number. So not only racist but a cheap buggar as well, lovely. As I said, I'm glad I listened to my instincts last week. It started off inocently enough, but I got a bit turned off when he asked me to text him my details after I spoke to him, by which I figured he meant my address. If he's a regular customer of escorts he would've known better than to ask for an address upfront.

I'd be happy to put something in the timewasters section.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 06 September 2011, 06:19:45 pm
Quote from: Ellie_e on 05 September 2011, 03:12:46 pm
I once had a client who spent a good amount of time licking out the insides of my nostrils
So wrong on so many many levels...   yuk!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kitty_of_Herts on 07 September 2011, 12:12:50 am
Quote from: JodieTs on 06 September 2011, 06:19:45 pm
Quote from: Ellie_e on 05 September 2011, 03:12:46 pm
I once had a client who spent a good amount of time licking out the insides of my nostrils
So wrong on so many many levels...   yuk!

Reminds me of that charming old saying...  "any hole's a goal". I've had my fair share of armpit wankers but nasal snogging? Bleurghhh  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 07 September 2011, 01:25:16 am
Quote from: Lorissa on 06 September 2011, 04:15:54 pm
I also ask if he has AW profile and if so can he post it.

Guys general don't have profiles and if they do they're pretty basic. If you get an email, when viewing the email you should see the word "profile" click that and it will bring up the senders profile. Most guys don't fill this part in unless they have chosen to be a service provider and have set themselves up an escort profile..which are generally useless to them and rather comical to us  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelEyes on 07 September 2011, 02:13:17 am
Hiya,


I should have been clearer. It was an email to my own personal use address, not an email on the site . Even so, this guy was a total and utter timewaster..............
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 12 September 2011, 05:00:12 pm
"would you fuck my dog? x"


 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 12 September 2011, 05:02:49 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 12 September 2011, 05:00:12 pm
"would you fuck my dog? x"


 ::)

 :o Er...?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 12 September 2011, 05:21:00 pm
Quote from: Kitana on 12 September 2011, 05:02:49 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 12 September 2011, 05:00:12 pm
"would you fuck my dog? x"


 ::)

 :o Er...?

I know! Delightful! :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TSgirl on 12 September 2011, 06:48:29 pm
An email I received: "Fancy meeting up for some fun you horny bitch?"

Ummm, no.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 12 September 2011, 06:52:05 pm
Quote from: ChristineTS on 12 September 2011, 06:48:29 pm
An email I received: "Fancy meeting up for some fun you horny bitch?"

Ummm, no.

I got a text like that when I was working away the other week. I wasn't feeling particularly eloquent though, so I just told him to fuck off.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelaManchester on 12 September 2011, 07:54:25 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 12 September 2011, 05:00:12 pm
"would you fuck my dog? x"


 ::)

OMFG  :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 14 September 2011, 06:40:08 pm
First person in my cam room tonight:

idiot: cn i c fce plz
(I showed face)
idiot: arrggghh i gna be sik urrrrggg
idiot: u minger
idiot: fat twat

He left the room too quick for me to block him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 14 September 2011, 07:22:37 pm
What a gorgeous specimen of manhood! Hiding behind the safety of his computer! Brave too...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: emilyofsuffolk on 14 September 2011, 08:04:24 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 12 September 2011, 05:00:12 pm
"would you fuck my dog? x"


 ::)

I had a  guy call me a couple of weeks ago, sounded like he'd just crawled in from a night on the town doing heavy drugs so I took it all with a pinch of salt. He was rambling on about how easily choked am i blah blag & then mentioned  a girl who he knows who wants to do dog sex & would i join in with them. I imediately told him to f off & hung up only to recieve a text saying that he'd meant dogging.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 15 September 2011, 05:56:22 pm
Quote from: emilyofsuffolk on 14 September 2011, 08:04:24 pm
wants to do dog sex & would i join in with them. I imediately told him to f off & hung up only to recieve a text saying that he'd meant dogging.  ::)


That happened to me! I told the guy he was a disgusting pervert, and should be ashamed of himself, before cutting him off, then received a text explaining about the 'dogging'...

I did have someone ring up and ask if I did  'doggy massage'.  I told him we could discuss his requirements when he came in for his appointment, to which he answered, 'I'm looking for somebody who likes a laugh and a joke.'
I googled 'doggy massage' and it actually does mean massaging a dog....

I presume when he said he was 'looking for somebody who likes a laugh and a joke', the moron actually meant, 'I'm a time waster, and I'm looking for somebody I can phone up and annoy with my inane questions/sad attempt at 'witty' banter.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Blue on 15 September 2011, 06:27:08 pm
Hi just checked you on internet me 21 year old guy im at the train station just missed my train next one at 10.24pm so can we meet and have sex??

(text sent at 9pm)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 15 September 2011, 07:13:04 pm
Oh gosh nothing but TWs this past few days, why do they come in clusters?   Latest is.......can I come for a quickie........how much is it.........I reply.......?70.

To which he replies.........I ususally get them for ?50, is that ok......

Aaagh don't think I can even be assed to reply......well I did, I just said......my rates are my rates.

This after a guy texted me back and forth.......(neccessitating my having to go check the rules for guests with reception at my serviced appts - they are very strict according to T&C on wall).......asked for an hour, then how much for half an hour.......then phoned and said......well I have to travel an hour each way, its not worth it, I should see you when you get back to Glasgow. 

Grrrrrr could he not have thought of that before messing me around I asked >:(

Sorry for rant ladies
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 15 September 2011, 07:41:35 pm
One of my clients yesterday (in actually booking tho not trying to book)
Tried to stick his Tongue down my throat as soon as he got through the door, I turned my head so his kiss landed on my cheek he then asked "oh is this the girlfriend experience?" I said "once I've had my money it is"
Silly silly man!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelaManchester on 15 September 2011, 08:25:42 pm
Quote from: Dionne on 15 September 2011, 07:41:35 pm
One of my clients yesterday (in actually booking tho not trying to book)
Tried to stick his Tongue down my throat as soon as he got through the door, I turned my head so his kiss landed on my cheek he then asked "oh is this the girlfriend experience?" I said "once I've had my money it is"

Hahaha.  Yes, quite  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 17 September 2011, 03:49:27 pm
Quote from: emilyofsuffolk on 14 September 2011, 08:04:24 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 12 September 2011, 05:00:12 pm
"would you fuck my dog? x" ::)
I had a  guy call me a couple of weeks ago, sounded like he'd just crawled in from a night on the town doing heavy drugs so I took it all with a pinch of salt. He was rambling on about how easily choked am i blah blag & then mentioned  a girl who he knows who wants to do dog sex & would i join in with them. I imediately told him to f off & hung up only to recieve a text saying that he'd meant dogging.  ::)
I hate drugs.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 18 September 2011, 11:57:24 am
Text from 'Potential' Client (after he had made a booking) - "Are you really a 25 y.o female?"

Me - "yes why would you need to ask?"

Him - "Well I just thought you may just be getting enjoyment from the arranging of things"

Me - "No I actually do the bookings. If you want to go ahead with your booking please confirm so now"

> I'm thinking , what the hell?!!! I get enjoyment out of you turning up on time and handing me the money! The arranging is just a necessary step I have to do, a duty I can't be bothered with on a wet Friday afternoon in Tescos! <

Him - "Ok maybe I can call you sometime and we can chat"

Me - "No"

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 18 September 2011, 06:26:23 pm
Im sooooooo bored.  My enquiries today:

Two guys so nervous even speaking to me I knew they wouldn't book!

One nervous guy who booked, confirmed, then texted to say he was too nervous to go through with it (fair enough I don't mind that)

Another asking if I do quickes .....aaaaaaaaaagh why do only about 5% seem to actually read profiles.

Yesterday - 2 walk outs...........say no more

I lovely guy later last night - hallejuhah!


On cam one guy just saying  PEE?


NO NO and NO!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 18 September 2011, 06:29:55 pm
And just now..............

Me: I'm in a hotel

Him: No no no I don't do hotels.........

God I give up on today!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KirstyPink on 18 September 2011, 06:37:39 pm
"Hi would you sell me some of your poo and take picture/video of you doing it for mr to eat? If Si how much xxxx"

 ;D
Also he has 4 positive feedback saying what a lovely guy he is ...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 18 September 2011, 07:23:56 pm
Yeh several times I've been asked....

"Do you s**t on cam" 

Err does my profile say I'm into this?


I keep a straight face and say:

" I'm afraid I can't poo to order"



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 19 September 2011, 12:34:16 pm
This one assures me he's 'nice and normal'.

Hey! Just seen your website, u look very hot! You can add me on facebook if you like to see im nice and normal.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 19 September 2011, 12:41:40 pm
-
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 19 September 2011, 01:11:59 pm
I had a text this morning:

"Hi xxx can you do 69 for ?30"

I mean...................................words fail me.  Needless to say I didn't bother replying.

I also had a follow on email from someone else:


"Hi. Just looking at ur pics again. Sooo sexy - but a bit concerned now as u certainly dont look 35 in those pics! Are they definitly of you - and if so, when were they taken?"
 
to which I replied

"If you don't want to beleive my pics are recent or of me - thats your problem.

My feedback speaks for itself"

GOD WHAT A BUNCH OF CHEAPSKATES AND TWATS!!!!


 



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 19 September 2011, 01:13:04 pm
Ooh, that reminds, me, I had a 'massage guy' ring the other day, he offered me a job,  :D, working as his partner doing 'four handed massage'.
Wonder if anyone falls for that, EVER?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 19 September 2011, 01:25:44 pm
Oh yeh has anyone else had a big long text from a guy claiming to run a successful freelance escort buisness offering free websites etc claiming it will bring you in a lot of extra work and at the end asks you to note he is NOT an agency just helps freelance girls.

Hummm why do I not beleive him??? I'm doing pretty well on my own thanks!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 19 September 2011, 03:00:57 pm
Ok not sure I'm posting in the right thread here for this but...

And so to today............

Had a booking with a guy who I'd cammed for  (during which he'd asked to do a sex show on cam I strangely enough declined).  Then he arrived .......first he asks for 2 hours...10 minutes in he asks again about the sex show.......I say no I haven't agreed to it and I feel uncomfortable that you are pressuring me about it.

Then he not long after asks for it to be just 1 hour (and I like a fool give some money back (I seriously think I need assertiveness training here).  He comes quickly and leaves within half an hour claiming tiredness.

Well maybe he was but I know the real reason is that I wouldn't do the bloody live cam sex show!!!  Its pissing annoying as I'd blocked out 2 hrs for him and declined other bookings.  I guess it is at least partly my fault for being such a pushover.

I think I need a strategy to deal with things like this as .....I am naturally not assertive and just can't think what to say when confronted with things like this.  He seemed a polite enough young guy but I felt uncomfortable with him pushing the boundaries.  I find someone doing this politely very hard to deal with.

What do other ladies do in these situations?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 19 September 2011, 03:05:05 pm
I've had a lot of problems with a so called tantric massage guy called Matt. He's tried every trick in the book to get a freebie out of me! Bloody idiot!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 19 September 2011, 03:24:48 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 19 September 2011, 01:11:59 pm
I had a text this morning:

"Hi xxx can you do 69 for ?30"


Jeez he just sent exactly the same text again!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SabrinaYork on 19 September 2011, 09:15:07 pm
Texts:

Him:
Hi I'm interested in half an hour today, I'm ****, aged 30 - sat sept 17, 16.39

Him:
Can you just let me know either way.thanks a lot.  Sat sept 17 17.02

Me:
Hi sorry *** am finished for the day, will be back tomorrow x sat sept 17  17.33

Him:
You sure you cannot fit me in now? as I don't live in York. Sat sept 17 17.37

Him:
Ok can I make an appointment for tomorrow? Sat sept 17 17.46

Him:
I'm hoping for something on a fairly regular basis..?  Sat sept 17 17.58

Him:
I'm not a timewaster so if you would like to give some appointments a go just say so.  Sat sept 17 18.08

Me:
Hello **** I was out with the dog and about to0 get dinner, if you call tomorrow phone wil be on from 9am, we can sort something out then, speak soon  Sat sept 17 18.29

Him:
Ok, thats great thanks x Sat sept 17 21.49

Him:
Will phone you in the morning, if you get a min this eve can you just send me a description. thanks x sat sept 17 21.49

Him:
Hi wondering if you can arrange appointment today? Sun sept 18 09.20

Me:
Hello am araid I did intend to go to the flat but have woke up with the start of a cold, today am going to take the day off and rest up in the hope it does not develop any further,. apologies  sun sept 18 09.23

Him:
Fair enough can we do something another time soon?, I could be interested in a regular visit sun sept 18 09.27

Him:
I will be in York toda if by any chance you feel better. x sun sept 18 09.47

Him:
It's ok no worries. Sun sept 18 11.10

Him:
Up to you, I'm in York, have cash.x sun sept 18 13.08

Me:
Hi, I think I will give it a miss thanks, 13 texts in two days when I can't see you I consider excessive.  sun sept 18 14.20

Him:
It just wasn't very clear to me if you wante4d to meet another time because you didn't reply, ho9w about another time soon, I'm not a messer, will be there when I say so.  Sun sept 18 14.30

Him:
I'm genuinely looking for something on a regular basis.  sun sept 18 14.49

Him:
Come on don't give up x sun sept 18 15.17

Him:
What are your usual rates? sun sept 18 15.38

Him:
Up to you, I have a good size one and I'm not a messer.. sun sept 18 16.20

Him:
You saying no then?  Sun sept 18 17.32

Him:
Give it a chance  sun sept 18 19.51

Him:
I have a partner but would like more when poss that's all. sun sept 18 21.26

Me:
21 Texts give it up not interested  sun sept 18 21.32

Him:
Because I am the one making the effort and you don't reply, I don't understand but fine if that is what you want sun sept 18 21.35

Me:
I told you last night I had finished workj and off today, I want you to stop texting now as your obsession guaranteees I do not wish to see you sun sept 18 21.47

Him:
I just asked for a description which never came, and was told last night you were working today which you then changed, its not obsession, I don't even know your appearance, if you decide otherwise there could be something regular, leave it with you.  sun sept 18 21.53

Him:
Will you consider? Today 10.08

Him:
Ok will try another ad if you are not keen. Today 15.38

Him:
I work hard so want to get some good fun. Today 15.44

Me:
Back off your obsessive nature is getting on my nerves, bordering on harassment of which both my security or the police will handle  Today 18.14

Him:
I'm not interested in you now as you are not a nice person,. goodbye Today 18.19


At fooking last!!!!  Next step will be HIMBO giving him a call!



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 19 September 2011, 09:37:34 pm
Today from Guess Where (come on then, how many of us have had this one  ::)):

Quote
Hi I'm 100% real about this. I live in iceland and i'm looking for someone who would like to spend the weekend with me in a log cabin.
I will pay for everything, flights etc. The log cabin is not in the middle of nowhere it is in a town,
a park with loads of summerhouses in and 2 towns nearby. The cabin has a jacuzzi and all the facilities,
and i was wondering if you would be interested in coming to take care of me (satisfy me in every way) dine with me and fulfill all my needs.
If you'd be interested in flying on say a friday i'd pick you up from the airport we spend the weekend at the cabin for the weekend and i'll drop you back at the airport.
Get in touch if youd like to see my picture. If you're interested please be reasonable about the price as i'm paying for your trip and everything while you are here.
Please get back to me at [optimist]@hotmail.com and i'll send you photos of me if you like.
, Im not paying any extra, im paying for the whole trip, the flights, entertainment, food etc While on the trip we can visit places like the national park, geysers and volcanoes, hot water springs, the blue lagoon and other things like that.
Would you be willing to stay from DATE 28.10.2011 to DATE 07.11.2011

Anybody fancy getting in a total strangers car and then working for free for three days in a foreign country? Me neither, funnily enough  ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 19 September 2011, 09:56:15 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 19 September 2011, 03:00:57 pm
Ok not sure I'm posting in the right thread here for this but...

And so to today............

Had a booking with a guy who I'd cammed for  (during which he'd asked to do a sex show on cam I strangely enough declined).  Then he arrived .......first he asks for 2 hours...10 minutes in he asks again about the sex show.......I say no I haven't agreed to it and I feel uncomfortable that you are pressuring me about it.

Then he not long after asks for it to be just 1 hour (and I like a fool give some money back (I seriously think I need assertiveness training here).  He comes quickly and leaves within half an hour claiming tiredness.

Well maybe he was but I know the real reason is that I wouldn't do the bloody live cam sex show!!!  Its pissing annoying as I'd blocked out 2 hrs for him and declined other bookings.  I guess it is at least partly my fault for being such a pushover.

I think I need a strategy to deal with things like this as .....I am naturally not assertive and just can't think what to say when confronted with things like this.  He seemed a polite enough young guy but I felt uncomfortable with him pushing the boundaries.  I find someone doing this politely very hard to deal with.

What do other ladies do in these situations?

Don't know what you mean? Do you mean he wanted to do a show on cam whilst having sex with you? During the booking.
In that case, what an idiot!

With regards to assertiveness - I used to be the way you describe - very reluctant to enforce boundaries and unsure of what to say. I have recently started putting on what I call the "autopilot customer service voiceover" - as soon as I detect any boundary-pushing I will detach from the situation so as not to become emotional or nervous etc, and then explain in a calm measured tone what will and won't be happening. Be sure to sound fair and "customer-service like" at all times. Just repeat for example "Sorry I don't feel comfortable with a live sex show. You cannot have money back because you booked for 2 hours which I have set aside for you and turned down other bookings" (add in a little "but we can have some other sexy fun" maybe to sweeten it a bit but remain within boundaries) If he replies in the negative just repeat like a robot "I'm sorry you feel that way but.... (repeat above phrase)" I'd only give money back if he threatened violence and I did not have security nearby.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 20 September 2011, 12:44:13 am
I really do not know what goes through guys head sometimes..

So i'm sitting here and only 2 seconds ago I get notified of an escort booking (I was conveniently reading this thread at the time - its like fate) *rushes off to read it*

the time being 00:38am

booking start time 01:00am in a town at least 30 minutes drive from me...  ::) ::) ::)

Not to mention without any communication whatsoever he's chose to ignore my mobile number, ignore even that I do freeview cams so he could speak to me and see me live right this very second (gosh spoilt for choice!  8))

He still chooses to book through the system with 20 minutes notice..

Oh and also ignored that my rates are more at this time

Congratulations....you're a dickhead

*sigh*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelEyes on 20 September 2011, 01:20:19 am
The one thing that really bugs me is the failure to read my profile correctly and then asking for things that i don't say I do. Or ringing me from a withheld number and then getting shirty  because don't answer and calling me rude.


I had one guy who did just that today. Called on withheld number repeatedly. So, naturally I don't answer. Then I get repeated text messages and then  a rude  email on AW. Grrrrr!!!!!!!!!


My AW profile clearly says that such methods of communication will be ignored and bookings can't be made this way as does my website.

Really, punters, you should have gone to specsavers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 20 September 2011, 11:31:30 am
Just taken a booking from a guy who asked for an appointment at 3pm.  So to close the conversation I say - I look forward to seeing you at 3.

He then says - oh, I will have to confirm that with you later, as 3 is later than I wanted - ????????????????

So i said - but that is the time you asked for, you set the time.

Him - well I will confirm around 12.  Won't hold my breathe!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 20 September 2011, 11:39:40 am
Quote from: LouLou37 on 19 September 2011, 09:56:15 pm
Don't know what you mean? Do you mean he wanted to do a show on cam whilst having sex with you? During the booking.
In that case, what an idiot!

With regards to assertiveness - I used to be the way you describe - very reluctant to enforce boundaries and unsure of what to say. I have recently started putting on what I call the "autopilot customer service voiceover" - as soon as I detect any boundary-pushing I will detach from the situation so as not to become emotional or nervous etc, and then explain in a calm measured tone what will and won't be happening. Be sure to sound fair and "customer-service like" at all times. Just repeat for example "Sorry I don't feel comfortable with a live sex show. You cannot have money back because you booked for 2 hours which I have set aside for you and turned down other bookings" (add in a little "but we can have some other sexy fun" maybe to sweeten it a bit but remain within boundaries) If he replies in the negative just repeat like a robot "I'm sorry you feel that way but.... (repeat above phrase)" I'd only give money back if he threatened violence and I did not have security nearby.

He asked for it during the cam show and I said no; then we had an actual booking and he asked again - I did say a couple of times.....I'm not comfortable with that and I feel you are pressurising me"  He denied this and said he was just asking but it was definate big boundary pushing!  It was 10 mins after that he said how tired he was and could we do an hour (oh poor him!) 

I will have to try and do the autopilot thing!  I've half a mind to refuse 2 hour bookings if I see someone for the first time; or say either in my FAQs or in person at the start that theres no money back if you decide to leave early.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 20 September 2011, 11:40:36 am
Quote from: Lorissa on 20 September 2011, 01:20:19 am
The one thing that really bugs me is the failure to read my profile correctly and then asking for things that i don't say I do. Or ringing me from a withheld number and then getting shirty  because don't answer and calling me rude.


I had one guy who did just that today. Called on withheld number repeatedly. So, naturally I don't answer. Then I get repeated text messages and then  a rude  email on AW. Grrrrr!!!!!!!!!


My AW profile clearly says that such methods of communication will be ignored and bookings can't be made this way as does my website.

Really, punters, you should have gone to specsavers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lorissa yes that drives me crazy!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 20 September 2011, 01:45:23 pm
Has anyone else has this tempting offer?
I found it in my spam, so he must have sent it out to loads of people?
I thought the kisses were a nice touch... ;D


On Sep 12, 2011, ********** <b********l@hotmail.com> wrote:
Hi,

I'm not intrested in sex...just fulfilling my oral fantasies...

Do you do facials...r u ok with playing with jizz and swallowing (this is a must)

Would like to c how u could take my cum fantasies to the next level

let me know pls asap...

xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 20 September 2011, 03:36:40 pm
Quote from: natasha on 20 September 2011, 01:45:23 pm
Has anyone else has this tempting offer?
I found it in my spam, so he must have sent it out to loads of people?
I thought the kisses were a nice touch... ;D


On Sep 12, 2011, ********** <b********l@hotmail.com> wrote:
Hi,

I'm not intrested in sex...just fulfilling my oral fantasies...

Do you do facials...r u ok with playing with jizz and swallowing (this is a must)

Would like to c how u could take my cum fantasies to the next level

let me know pls asap...

xxx

Translation - I want something to wank to for free...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 20 September 2011, 03:46:34 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 20 September 2011, 11:39:40 am
He asked for it during the cam show and I said no; then we had an actual booking and he asked again - I did say a couple of times.....I'm not comfortable with that and I feel you are pressurising me"  He denied this and said he was just asking but it was definate big boundary pushing!  It was 10 mins after that he said how tired he was and could we do an hour (oh poor him!) 

I will have to try and do the autopilot thing!  I've half a mind to refuse 2 hour bookings if I see someone for the first time; or say either in my FAQs or in person at the start that theres no money back if you decide to leave early.

Yup, idiot boundary pushing definitely!!!

I actually did have a huge set of rules on my AW profile, and decided to try as an experiment taking them off to see if business increased when I did not sound so strict and scary. I don't think it made any difference. Although when I had "the rules" up I did get a lot of guys telling me they were relieved I am more friendly in person. and a few cheeky buggers suggesting I should sound more friendly on my ad and get more business (idiots!!! they should be a sex worker for a week then come back and tell me lol).

Tbh, I don't think many actually READ the profile , except - pictures first, then sexy blurb + services (maybe if you are lucky), then skip down to rates and your number or email. That's it.

Now I alternate - I sometimes copy-paste the scary sounding rules onto my profile, other times not. I find the best way is to just let them know NO WITHELD NUMBERS, NO INCESSANT TEXTING,  right beside the contact details so they will at least know the proper way to communicate with you and then just weed out the idiots via phone contact. Practise the auto-pilot smily- but - really firm boundary protecting regularly so if someone disrespectful does actually meet you in real life, you will know how to handle it. I vision a sort-of cocoon or wall around me  when a customer starts to try and push boundaries and just try to state what will be happening in a friendly but non-negotiable manner with good body language is essential (I used to SAY the words "no" but was too scared to use assertive body language so they just thought I was a pushover or joking/flirting)

It's a very fine line. I just got the hang of it properly the past few months after 4 years in the industry.  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 22 September 2011, 02:57:40 pm
camming....

Me: *doing the usual lazying about  ;)

loser comes into my chat room and says: 'now heres a filthy slut' (full points for no text speak, zero points for polite introduction)

I use the 'kick permanently' button but hell what surprises me most is that his loser/user name is a full (! assume real) name and D.O.B.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 22 September 2011, 03:02:51 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 22 September 2011, 02:57:40 pm
camming....

Me: *doing the usual lazying about  ;)

loser comes into my chat room and says: 'now heres a filthy slut' (full points for no text speak, zero points for polite introduction)

I use the 'kick permanently' button but hell what surprises me most is that his loser/user name is a full (! assume real) name and D.O.B.  ::)

It's funny that wouldn't have bothered me...I quite embrace the names slut, whore and cunt. Yet I hate slag!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 22 September 2011, 03:04:57 pm
I'll take anything but "bb" "babes" or "hun"....not that they are dealbreakers but they give me pause for thought. Generally, though, it's proof that some punters don't bother to suss out the actual woman to whom they are speaking...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 22 September 2011, 03:50:33 pm
Quote from: Coty on 22 September 2011, 03:02:51 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 22 September 2011, 02:57:40 pm
camming....

Me: *doing the usual lazying about  ;)

loser comes into my chat room and says: 'now heres a filthy slut' (full points for no text speak, zero points for polite introduction)

I use the 'kick permanently' button but hell what surprises me most is that his loser/user name is a full (! assume real) name and D.O.B.  ::)

It's funny that wouldn't have bothered me...I quite embrace the names slut, whore and cunt. Yet I hate slag!



TOTALLY embracing the whole slut/whore/raging sexual monster  :P  ;D

It's more that 'hello mistress' is a signal that people are in the right place - I will chat back with most  - but text speak is a likely sign that im not gonna pick up any business....and there are a few dickheads out there who trawl about just wanting to be rude. Had the weirdo copy pasting some sort of 'bingedrinking' news story in last night and going on about how all 'our women' are slags.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 22 September 2011, 04:12:55 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 22 September 2011, 03:50:33 pm
TOTALLY embracing the whole slut/whore/raging sexual monster  :P  ;D

It's more that 'hello mistress' is a signal that people are in the right place - I will chat back with most  - but text speak is a likely sign that im not gonna pick up any business....and there are a few dickheads out there who trawl about just wanting to be rude. Had the weirdo copy pasting some sort of 'bingedrinking' news story in last night and going on about how all 'our women' are slags.

Oh yes.....this!  Make's me proud to be British lol
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2040260/Maciej-Dakowicz-Cardiff-After-Dark-binge-drinking-images-turned-Britain-laughing-stock.html
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelaManchester on 22 September 2011, 06:22:02 pm
Quote from: amy on 19 September 2011, 09:37:34 pm
Anybody fancy getting in a total strangers car and then working for free for three days in a foreign country? Me neither, funnily enough  ;D.

Hahahaha what a dick!! 'I'm not paying any extra cos I'm paying for the trip' *bangs head against brick wall* :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 22 September 2011, 07:04:14 pm
Quote from: AngelaManchester on 22 September 2011, 06:22:02 pm
Quote from: amy on 19 September 2011, 09:37:34 pm
Anybody fancy getting in a total strangers car and then working for free for three days in a foreign country? Me neither, funnily enough  ;D.

Hahahaha what a dick!! 'I'm not paying any extra cos I'm paying for the trip' *bangs head against brick wall* :D

Wrong head to banging against that proverbial wall...  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 22 September 2011, 11:37:43 pm
Quote from: Your Tera on 22 September 2011, 03:04:57 pm
I'll take anything but "bb" "babes" or "hun"....not that they are dealbreakers but they give me pause for thought. Generally, though, it's proof that some punters don't bother to suss out the actual woman to whom they are speaking...

Or my favourite..."hi Princess"  ::) ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 22 September 2011, 11:38:54 pm
Quote from: Friday on 22 September 2011, 11:37:43 pm


Or my favourite..."hi Princess"  ::) ::) ::) ::)
[/quote]
As my people say, "Oy vey!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 23 September 2011, 11:51:28 am
I had a guy the other day ask how much for half an hour.....when I told him my rates he said...oh thats out of my league I normally pay ?60 - chancer methinnks!

I think he was hoping I'd reduce especially for him.....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 23 September 2011, 07:10:43 pm
Ooh, some of them must think we have the memories of  gold fish!
Just had a call from a 2 times no show, asking for my details (yet again!)  ::)
Him, 'Hello, can you tell me what time you work 'til please'; (my availability is stated on my site)
Me, 'Oh hi, you've made 2 bookings with me already and failed to show up, so forgive me if I decline to share this information with you'.
Him, 'OK, byeee'
*hells teeth*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 23 September 2011, 07:22:53 pm
Today:

2 guys so nervous when booking I knew they wouldn't confirm and show; 2 just trying to chat, some explicit texts (just what I wanted) and one cheeky bugger saying my rates are too dear, can we negotiate.

NO NO and NO!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 25 September 2011, 12:29:20 am
hello

"please i'm serious, can you tell me what is the minimum hours did you accept to travel in october to Geneva switzerland in hotel and how much ?

Do you accept Being filmed for my own use, kissing with tongue, licking your pussy, massage, depilation,deep throat, sucking without protection and do you enjoys all the service on your list and what services dont accept ?

your travel expenses and 50% of the costs will be paid in advance also i send you the hotel confirmation and my private details name, photo, telephon number and email adress as you are sure that I'm not lying.

waiting your answer

best regards"


Most of these options are not ticked on my profile because I either can't or won't... pretty ambitious to go through the lengths of picking me out of the morass -- I am not featured nor "available today" to completely ignore the fact that if the 'services' are not ticked, they are 'not' on offer... Shockingly (not) no ratings.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 25 September 2011, 03:41:24 pm
Reported this idiot to AW (don't know if allowed to post his nickname here so won't)


Email one - hi their. i would like to make an appointment, do you swallow, and do u mind if my cocks dirty, i dont wash ma dick x

Me - fuck off. reported. byeeee!

Email two - naw am serious will ye lick the cheese awf ma cock?

Email three - subject - IAN SMITH WATSON SOLICITRS SCOTLAND LTD   25/09/2011 15:16:49      
I'm sufffering from sleep deprivation and my loyers looking at a situation of NEGLIEGENCE AND ABUSE, I really aren't to sure what i'm doing.

(i'm sleep deprived) my bodys fireing on impluse

Sounds completely unhinged!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 25 September 2011, 05:05:23 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 25 September 2011, 03:41:24 pm
Reported this idiot to AW (don't know if allowed to post his nickname here so won't)


Email one - hi their. i would like to make an appointment, do you swallow, and do u mind if my cocks dirty, i dont wash ma dick x

Me - fuck off. reported. byeeee!

Email two - naw am serious will ye lick the cheese awf ma cock?

Email three - subject - IAN SMITH WATSON SOLICITRS SCOTLAND LTD   25/09/2011 15:16:49      
I'm sufffering from sleep deprivation and my loyers looking at a situation of NEGLIEGENCE AND ABUSE, I really aren't to sure what i'm doing.

(i'm sleep deprived) my bodys fireing on impluse

Sounds completely unhinged!!!

Good grief!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 25 September 2011, 08:07:46 pm
-.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 25 September 2011, 08:15:35 pm
I got this email today:

hi i would be really interested in meeting you this week or next whatever suits you best :) Please get in touch. P.S would it be possible to have a recent picture of you? Just so i know who i am paying for. My e-mail is *****@live.co.uk. If you want I can send you one too :) please email me x

 I found early on that anyone asking for pics like this is usually a big fat TW.

Go and look in my PG you cheapskate!
 

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 25 September 2011, 10:59:03 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 25 September 2011, 08:15:35 pm
Just so i know who i am paying for.

I hate this phrase  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelEyes on 25 September 2011, 11:15:15 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 25 September 2011, 08:15:35 pm
I got this email today:

hi i would be really interested in meeting you this week or next whatever suits you best :) Please get in touch. P.S would it be possible to have a recent picture of you? Just so i know who i am paying for. My e-mail is *****@live.co.uk. If you want I can send you one too :) please email me x

 I found early on that anyone asking for pics like this is usually a big fat TW.

Go and look in my PG you cheapskate!
 

 


 

 





Ha , ha ha, at the cheapskate bit!  I now have a disclaimer on AW and website in my FAQ question bit that says there is no need for me to see their anatomy he he ;D . I don't know why blokes think that is more likely to make us wish to  accept a booking?

 



[/quote]
Quote from: natasha on 23 September 2011, 07:10:43 pm
Ooh, some of them must think we have the memories of  gold fish!
Just had a call from a 2 times no show, asking for my details (yet again!)  ::)
Him, 'Hello, can you tell me what time you work 'til please'; (my availability is stated on my site)
Me, 'Oh hi, you've made 2 bookings with me already and failed to show up, so forgive me if I decline to share this information with you'.
Him, 'OK, byeee'
*hells teeth*



Memories of a gold fish! that made me laugh. I just don't answer multiple no shows etc any more. If they ring on the same number of course.  


I think that maybe, there is that little bit of child trapped in man's body syndrome with some clients. You know , like oh it says sms and withheld numbers will be ignored but will they really?  Let's see if it really is true and how far can I push the boundaries?  

Ah yes, there was reason I ticked no to the Adult baby minding..............lol


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Serendipity on 25 September 2011, 11:43:49 pm
-
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 26 September 2011, 12:51:33 am
Quote from: elleheart on 25 September 2011, 11:43:49 pm
So so sad.

But yet so full of hope??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: scottishgirl001 on 26 September 2011, 08:28:00 am
it continues to amuse me that they think its all about the sex and not anything to do with the money!!

(if the sex is good, hey its a bonus ;D)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 26 September 2011, 08:37:56 am
Quote from: scottishgirl001 on 26 September 2011, 08:28:00 am
it continues to amuse me that they think its all about the sex and not anything to do with the money!!

(if the sex is good, hey its a bonus ;D)

Hell yeh........and good looks/size have nothing to do with that - rather its their skills!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ElleCouture on 26 September 2011, 01:50:55 pm
It's only coming up to 2pm & I've turned my phone off already. I'd rather see no one at all today than deal with the lovely lot that have been calling me. My phone has been hurled across the room several times already, especially after this one:

Me: Hello
Him: Hello?
Me: Hi there, who is this?
Him: Oh. Are you open today?
Me:....open?
Him: Yeh are you open?
Me: *hangs up & throws phone across room in disgust*

OPEN?! Seriously? What is wrong with men & their willy brains?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 26 September 2011, 02:19:47 pm
I had a nice text yesterday: 'anal? facesitting?'

What's with this anal obsession?
Everybody's asking for it lately!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 26 September 2011, 02:39:31 pm
They really are out in force recently. It must be TW season or something!

This morning I receive a very presumptuous email form someone who has been once before - He is just emailing me to say that he has went all the way into work on the train (which happens to be near my incall location)  but only just realised it is a bank holiday!! and apparently he has left his wallet on the train (how convenient!) and is now "soooo bored babe. I thought I just come and see you for a coffee and a chat if you are around".

Oh really did you now? I'm fecking working! You know.. for money. That has to be the most chancy freebie request I've ever heard! He must think he is being subtle! I'm so glad he does not have my new phone number, only my AW email.

I read his mail but did not reply as I was busy with actual bookings, and 2 hours later I got his second attempt -

"I'm sooo bored been walking around town for 2 hours. Nothing to do. Any suggestions babe?"

He seriously must think I'm going to invite him round to my incall place for free because he has 'left his wallet on the train' and then he will charm me with his subtle wit and get a freebie. Genius! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 26 September 2011, 02:54:15 pm
Quote from: natasha on 26 September 2011, 02:19:47 pm
I had a nice text yesterday: 'anal? facesitting?'

Urgh. Facesitting. I had a guy about a week ago ask me how much for an overnight, so I explained that six hours was the longest I was willing to spend with a new client. Then he asked if I was ok with some unusual kinky stuff and I said that depends, what is it. He wanted facesitting. I asked if he meant smothering, but no he just wanted some regular vanilla hovering (not hoovering though). I don't mind a bit of this as part of a tie and tease, but in general I find it annoying and not sexy in the least, so I used my new excuse that what with being a woman I can't orgasm while supporting my own weight. He said "so it's not something you'd be willing to do for a long time then?" I said it's not.

So he was looking for an overnight full of extended periods of me crouching over his face. Eww.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 26 September 2011, 05:55:30 pm
Quote from: Anika Mae on 26 September 2011, 02:54:15 pm
(not hoovering though)

What's this? I am conjuring images of reverse fanny farting!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 26 September 2011, 06:46:17 pm
Quote from: natasha on 26 September 2011, 05:55:30 pm
Quote from: Anika Mae on 26 September 2011, 02:54:15 pm
(not hoovering though)

What's this? I am conjuring images of reverse fanny farting!

That's using a vacuum cleaner to remove dust and debris from carpets. Just thought someone might read it wrong :).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 26 September 2011, 07:13:35 pm
Quote from: Anika Mae on 26 September 2011, 06:46:17 pm
Quote from: natasha on 26 September 2011, 05:55:30 pm
Quote from: Anika Mae on 26 September 2011, 02:54:15 pm
(not hoovering though)

What's this? I am conjuring images of reverse fanny farting!

That's using a vacuum cleaner to remove dust and debris from carpets. Just thought someone might read it wrong :).

Cracking up here!! :D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelEyes on 26 September 2011, 07:15:18 pm
Quote from: ElleCouture on 26 September 2011, 01:50:55 pm
It's only coming up to 2pm & I've turned my phone off already. I'd rather see no one at all today than deal with the lovely lot that have been calling me. My phone has been hurled across the room several times already, especially after this one:

Me: Hello
Him: Hello?
Me: Hi there, who is this?
Him: Oh. Are you open today?
Me:....open?
Him: Yeh are you open?
Me: *hangs up & throws phone across room in disgust*

OPEN?! Seriously? What is wrong with men & their willy brains?!










Oh dear god! Maybe he thought he was being clever ? A little innuendo/play on words . Hmmmmmmmm the mind boggles.

I really empathise  though with the desire to hurl your phone about . I had some guy I've  never seen before wanting a booking  within the next half hour/ hour adding that he can't remember my profile name on AW.  

SoI tell him  that sorry it is too short notice . He then proceeds to go into detail about how his girlfriend left him mid 69  and that they  had an argument in this position?

Apparently , he is so horny and just needs finishing off  etc etc. Then he says he is going  to call  her and would I like to stay on the phone whilst he does this  and  gets her to finish servicing him.  Wtf??????????


Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!! :-\
    


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 26 September 2011, 07:39:31 pm
Okay, that ^ is pretty much the lamest attempt at tricking someone into phone sex that I've ever heard!

It's like, "So, hi, yes. I need to book an appointment because I was about to slip my rock hard winky into my girlfriend's wet hooha but then I remembered that I don't even like that woman so I told her to get out of my goddamn house and never come back! But now I really, really need someone to come round and assume a doggy-receiving position in front of me because, well, I'm somehow unable to move once I've started having sex until it's all finished. So... if you can't get here in 5 minutes, could you just maybe describe to me what you would do if you saw my marvellous winky winking at you? Thx babe!"

Yeah. Odd.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 26 September 2011, 08:26:00 pm
Quote from: Lorissa on 26 September 2011, 07:15:18 pm
his girlfriend left him mid 69  and that they  had an argument in this position?

Oh brilliant!! ;D
Seriously though,it probably seemed convincing in his mind, until he heard himself actually uttering the words?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelEyes on 26 September 2011, 08:45:54 pm
Indeed ! More like can you  stay on the phone while I just..........service myself and pretend to call my girlfriend at the same time ? That way you will know I am not just calling you for a freebie. Honest.

Ah, well such is life. I will now go and think of a lovely name to save him under  in my phone incase he tries again. Any suggestions? ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: solitaire on 26 September 2011, 08:47:02 pm
I havent actually had my first booking yet but i have had a few emails, thought this one was best of the bunch,

"hmmm will you be fine seeing me and specifically giving me an oral WITHOUT, as I've semenal leakage in which during the course of ecertion, my penis keeps twitching and also keeps ejecting some seminal watery drops.
regards and hope to hear from you."

sorry bout your infliction but that would be a no.

 :)

just pointing out that is his exact email spelling mistake and all lmao
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 26 September 2011, 09:04:22 pm
I rarely do any long text stuff unless it's comedy gold that I can later post on this thread.
Last night. A text sequence from a client I've seen three times. That's the only reason I did the text ping pong.

Chancer: Hiya hope you remember me

Me: End house, pub across road. Into property development...Oh, and a rather nice man.  :)

Chancer: Ok you got it and hopefully the last bit! What you doing tonight?

Me: Do you want me to visit you again for an hour, tonight?

Chancer: I need to go to the bank send you att text in ten xx

Me: Cool

15 minutes later:
Chancer: Hi babe trust me

Me: ? ? ?

Chancer: Come over and I will pay tom

Me: Tom? Who is Tom?

Chancer: Tomorrow xxx

Me: I only visit if you pay as soon as I arrive. As I have to also pay my driver.
In short, if you don't have my fee tonight, I will not visit you tonight.
If you can get my fee tonight, great!
Call me AFTER YOU HAVE IT.
I can then visit you.

Chancer: Sorry did not mean to upset you

Me: I'm not upset. Do you want to get the fee now?
Or would you prefer to get the fee tomorrow and see me tomorrow as well?

Chancer: Ok point taken

Tonight:
Me: Hiyas Chancer. Are you looking to book me tonight?  . xxx

Chancer: No sorry another time soon x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 26 September 2011, 09:15:03 pm
Quote from: solitaire on 26 September 2011, 08:47:02 pm
I havent actually had my first booking yet but i have had a few emails, thought this one was best of the bunch,

"hmmm will you be fine seeing me and specifically giving me an oral WITHOUT, as I've semenal leakage in which during the course of ecertion, my penis keeps twitching and also keeps ejecting some seminal watery drops.
regards and hope to hear from you."

Solitaire, sorry to break it to you,
but you're not his first choice
http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=1637.msg46909#msg46909
Quote
June 24, 2011, 14:51:35 ?
Hi! I?m 25. I have a condition known as ?semen leakage? in which I involuntarily and continuously eject drops of watery cum. It  will you give oral without a condom, as it continuously drips cum? I think it won?t be a problem if you keep a glass and keep spitting in it?

*heaves*
Double heaves.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 26 September 2011, 09:38:59 pm
Quote from: Lorissa on 26 September 2011, 08:45:54 pm
Ah, well such is life. I will now go and think of a lovely name to save him under  in my phone incase he tries again. Any suggestions? ;D
Sham '69?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 27 September 2011, 01:45:07 am
Some of my delights from today...

email: so obviously a copied and paste job as he sent it at 7:15pm.. ::) ::) ::)

Hi my names Chris I wondered if you could possibly organise a webcam humiliation chat with me today at around 6 or 7pm. I wondered if you could get as many girls on cam with you as possible and basicly make fun off me make me do things for everyones enjoyment basically humiliate me I don't mind if everyones dressed or undressed I just won't to be watched by lots of girls and humiliated.

Text:

"Hi, I saw ur profile on the internet..."  well thanks for that always good to know im getting search results lol  ???

Also had some delightful wierdo texting me about an overnight offering more than twice my rate if I would wear something skimpy out to dinner...uh huh I soooo believe you are genuine sir  ::) ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tastylass on 27 September 2011, 08:48:23 am
Quote from: natasha on 26 September 2011, 09:38:59 pm
Sham '69?
Natasha wins!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 27 September 2011, 12:20:28 pm
Quote from: solitaire on 26 September 2011, 08:47:02 pm

"hmmm will you be fine seeing me and specifically giving me an oral WITHOUT, as I've semenal leakage in which during the course of ecertion, my penis keeps twitching and also keeps ejecting some seminal watery drops.
regards and hope to hear from you."



Thing is, this is normal. It's just the way he puts it makes it sound so vile!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelEyes on 27 September 2011, 01:18:20 pm
Yup, i agree . I t really is a true condition,  but there are much less gross ways of putting it. And anyway,  what puzzles me is why he thinks that this would entitle him to OWO?

Sorry, but that is even less likely . In fact a def no no. Leakage plus owo? Er yeahhhhhhhhh in your dreams matey.


I have stretch marks can you imagine if I said  my body  has stretch marks because I had two kids. I hope you don't mind but some of my skin is  a bit spidery in places. I hope you won't mind; I mean this really won't be a problem will it . ? blah blah blah ;D.

I'm not saying I don't make clients aware and neither do I lie; in some of my photos you can see my marks . But dwelling on it like that is not the best advert ????????
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 27 September 2011, 08:38:56 pm
A phone call from a client who has sent me sexually explicit text messages and made unsuccessful attempts at booking me in the past. (due to his rudeness/abruptness)

He, 'When you wanna see me then?'
I , 'Who is this please'
He, '*Hopeful*'
I, 'Aah, I didn't appreciate the obscene text messages and your rudeness on the phone.'
He, 'I wasn't sure what you did' ( ???)
I, 'Please don't call me again'

*Then a text*
'U need to send me over your webside to me then'

I LOVE rude people telling me what I 'need' to do. A winner every time... >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelEyes on 27 September 2011, 08:54:44 pm
 I know it is great in't it? Obviously some guys just don't realise that we are actually running a business therefore ultimately we are in charge to an extent.

Would  it be okay to  go into Macdonalds and tell them how to make your burger? or go to Starbucks and tell them how to make your coffee ? No, it would not. It would be okay to ask politely though if you do not take milk or don't like onions.

Stating the obvious, it would seem, but this etiquette seems to be sadly missing/lacking with some clients.

I had a guy who I have seen before text me : Are you working tonight?
me No sorry not til tomorrow now.

Him'Oh but I am so horny'
Me' ' Can't help you out there tonight sorry'

Him'Oh so I gotta go and wank then? But I am a sex addict'
Me; 'Yes if that's what you need to do to alleviate yourself


Silence for ten minutes.
Then' If I book a hotel would you consider  coming and .****ing me for a couple of  hours?'


I did not answer and this guy is quickly on his way to becoming blacklisted!  Regular clients are great but  regular is not an automatic entitlement to push boundaries.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 29 September 2011, 09:14:39 am
Ugh got this email today:


"hi my name is dan, iam very interested in having a meeting with you asap, but before we meet can i just ask you if you would let me cum on to your bare bum. I just wanted to ask first....

thanks for your time....xx"


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 29 September 2011, 12:37:43 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 29 September 2011, 09:14:39 am
Ugh got this email today:


"hi my name is dan, iam very interested in having a meeting with you asap, but before we meet can i just ask you if you would let me cum on to your bare bum. I just wanted to ask first....

thanks for your time....xx"




I don't see anything wrong with that? Send him my way :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tastylass on 29 September 2011, 12:47:03 pm
post deleted - not really interested in playing games on this forum
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 29 September 2011, 01:16:42 pm
Quote from: tastylass on 29 September 2011, 12:47:03 pm
Biggest nutter I've seen for a while.

Seconded. I'm astonished he's divorced though, how on earth did his wife ever let him go  ???

R xx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JennyJazz87 on 29 September 2011, 01:24:06 pm
I think he's a few sandwhiches short of a picnic.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 29 September 2011, 01:29:41 pm
"Resurrecting the innocence of prostitutes"  ;D

There is soooo much wrong with that guy it's unreal! He even looks crazy!!!

It's true that crazy people do not know how crazy they actually are....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 29 September 2011, 04:17:37 pm
This ones rather special......

I like you a lot as a woman. Your age is perfect for my taste. I find your body and face absolutely sexy and if you make sex the same way you are looking then I will like a lot to make that as often as possible for both of us?.

In this point I would like to ask you some things about our time together?..

1) I love giving anal sex. Is that ok? (I have a medium size coc?)
2) I love giving and recievingg oral without condom and I love it when my woman swallows.. Is that ok?
3) 69 is ok with you?
4) I love if you shit on my face and I lick your pussy for a very long time. Is that ok?
5) I loved it when the woman stroke, lick and kiss all my body. Is that ok?
6) Is it ok if Imake the same to you?
7) It make me crazy horny when a woman stroke, lick, kiss and take gently to her mouth my balls. Is that ok with you?
8) Making shower together is ok?
9) Making sex to the shower is ok?
10) Is it ok if we are completely nacked all the time that we are the two of us private?
11) Sub games is ok?
12) I like to be the Master and my woman to be the slave. Is that ok? (No pain things at all)
13) Role playing?
14) I like to tie and tease my woman and I like it when she make the same. Is that ok?
15) Is it ok if I give light spanking? (No pain things at all)
16) Would you do me massage?
17) Would you try to make me striptease?
18) I love doggy. Is that ok?
19) I love spooning sex. Is that ok?
20) But most of the times I like my woman on top (Cowgirl) facing both ways. Is that ok with you?
21) I am smoking. Is that ok with you?
22) Can I make some photo?s of you? (You can keep them if you like or to erase them to the end? I just like making it. I would like to keep them also but if it is a problem it is ok with me?.)
23) I want my woman not to wear make up. Is that ok with you?
24) Would you bring a very sort clussy skirt with you?
25) I love sort satin nightdress. You have one to bring?
26) I also love it like crazy when my woman have hairs to her pubic area. Is that ok?

I also have some fantasies I would like to try with you?.

1) Night nacked swimming and sex in the sea. (Only if the weather is ok and there are no other people around of course?)
2) I would like to play the game of rape with you. (Not pain or forced things. Just a very light roleplaying?)
3) I would like to play the game of rape but the way that you are rapping me?
4) The most times I had sex in one night till now in my life is three. Would you try please to make the three so many times that it would be life record for me?
5) I would like to have sex in doggy style with a woman that she wear only a pair of boots with high hills. You have maybe a pair?

Sorry for the very long message but I feel that we know what each of us like and enjoy so our time together to be as better as possible. In this spirit please tell me also what you enjoy more or what fantasy you maybe have and I am promising that I will try my best to make it with you?.
I understand that they will be a couple of things you will say that you don?t make and you don?t have to worry about it. I really love the way you look and I feel that we will have a perfect time together. Sorry again for the very long message?.

Kisses

Crazy Greek Man


Obviously my profile would have answered the majority... but I have to wonder which Sea he thinks we'd be swimming in???  ???

I also love in his AW interview he lists this as his nearest Railway: Eleutherios Venizelos Athens Airport

and he's only prepared to travel: 2? Hours

As you can see there isn't actually any mention of an actual booking, no doubt he was looking for say oh 30 minutes lol  ;D
 ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 29 September 2011, 04:34:38 pm
Quote from: Friday on 29 September 2011, 04:17:37 pm
This ones rather special......
<major snippage>
 no doubt he was looking for say oh 30 minutes lol  ;D

Best laugh of the day!  ;D Thanks, I needed that!
R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dexi Delite on 29 September 2011, 04:39:06 pm
It amazes me how thick some of these guys really are.  The jist of the story is...
I woke up on Wed morning to find I had a missed call and a text asking if I could talk at 11pm Tues night.  I replied back saying I can talk now.  Within seconds he was ringing.  He asked if he could make an appt to see me this coming Monday, which I said yes to, and could I turn up wearing a secretary style outfit with seamed stockings.  I figured that it was no great hardship so agreed.  He asked which area would be best for me to visit, and I suggested Manchester city centre.  He then asked if I could make it Monday morning.  I told him I prefer afternoons (I'm not my best in a morning), so we decided 3pm. Call ends. 
He then texted asking if I could bring my strap on (again not a problem as it's usually in my work bag).  Then another text asking if he could call.  I said yes. He calls and went on to ask if I have any fetish outfits.  I said I did, and he asked if I could bring one.  He then wanted me to go through what outfits I had (at this point I was beginning to get annoyed), he also specified the shoes he wanted me to wear (which he'd seen on my site).  Fine I said and ended the call.
Shortly after he texted again, asking if I kiss and do watersports.  Yes I do.
Then another text saying he tried to book a hotel on Deansgate, but it was full and could he call me regarding organising another hotel.  I didn't answer at this point.
Then another text saying he liked role play and like to be called big boy. He gave a little detail into how he wanted the session to pan out.
At this point I sent a text saying "Having considered our communication I am sorry, but I am going to cancel our session on Monday.  I fear that any session planned so meticulously will only end in disappointment, and I do not like to disappoint during a session.  I wish you luck in your search for another mistress."
I thought I was to the point and polite about it, and when I received a text back from him saying "Well, I was hoping it could be an introductory session so we could then tailor make future sessions."  I took this as though he'd got the message that I no longer wished to see him.  And what a good job, as by the sounds of his last text, he would be topping from the bottom everytime I saw him.
Anyhow, today I have had 3 calls from him.  I have ignored everyone.  I thought what I'd texted and the fact that I had wished him luck in searching for someone else would have been clear enough.  Obviously not.  Grrrrrr


Just wanted to get it off my chest, because I think he's a blithering idiot and wish he'd take the hint and sod off. :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 29 September 2011, 04:44:18 pm
He had TW written all over him and bet he jerked off a few times to your calls and texts too:-(

Arghhhh. They drive you bonkers don't they?! :-((
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 29 September 2011, 04:46:16 pm
Quote from: Rooby on 29 September 2011, 04:34:38 pm
Quote from: Friday on 29 September 2011, 04:17:37 pm
This ones rather special......
<major snippage>
 no doubt he was looking for say oh 30 minutes lol  ;D

Best laugh of the day!  ;D Thanks, I needed that!
R xx
you can fit all that into a 15 minute quicky surety  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dionne on 29 September 2011, 04:54:04 pm
Contact form completed on my website

"Let me no if u wana meet up ova the weekend"

yes of course i will  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 29 September 2011, 04:57:20 pm
LMAO....fantastic! Best one I've seen in ages! The spelling mistakes cracked me up too.
eg Is it ok if we are completely nacked all the time that we are the two of us private?

And if you're shaved how would you grow hair? Buy a merkin? lol

And he wants to rape you, do sub games and spanking...but all no pain! lmfao

That's just class! Needed a laugh!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dexi Delite on 29 September 2011, 05:16:15 pm
Tell me about it.  Buggers! >:( :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 29 September 2011, 05:17:28 pm
He sounds like an absolutely perfect example of a timewaster, to be honest. I know things are a bit different if you're doing domination etc as you may well need to discuss certain details of his session beforehand in order to provide what he wants, but still. As a GFE escort whose services are listed very simply on her site, I never discuss "details" on the phone and know immediately that anyone who wants to "chat" about what's going to happen during his appointment is only trying to get free phonesex from me. And yes, I think that's incredibly unpleasant behaviour. Who wakes up and thinks, "I'm going to trick someone into getting me off today?" Too many people, unfortunately. I shall be glad to be well rid of them once I'm out of the industry. Great clients are great, but the sheer quantities of idiots and creepy boundary-pushers wear me out, as I've said before. It's not something I can personally put up with too much longer.

Still, on the bright side, I've had ample opportunity to develop a rather foolproof anti-idiot booking system. Maybe you could implement a rule like: "All requests for specific services, outfits and such must be made in a single email prior to the appointment." This means no endless texts and calls and if they try to ignore your rule, you know they aren't the sort of person you want to be alone with. I mean, you'll still get the idiots and selfish wankers protesting that your rule is cruelly unfair (mainly because you're denying them the opportunity to fap down the phone at you) but if you look at it, it's ridiculously simple and easy. Any decent client, as long as you tell him straight away when he books how to inform you of his particular session needs, will have absolutely no problem doing that. And it should fit in fine with your confirmation procedures etc. :)

Sometimes I let the protests of certain fools persuade me into thinking that my strict (but very simple and easy to follow) rules are unfair, but then if I let my guard down I just suffer from an almost-instant barrage of idiotic behaviour from disrespectful types so I re-learn my lesson quickly!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 29 September 2011, 05:21:47 pm
That is definitely the best one I've seen in ages, Friday.
You always get the imaginative ones...
What's your secret??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dexi Delite on 29 September 2011, 05:28:41 pm
I'm still fairly new to this so spotting a timewaster is getting a little easier, but I suppose like you say Emily you still get caught out from time to time.  He just sounded like a complete control freak to me, plus he's still ringing.  He shall be ignored for evermore (until he changes his number that is) :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 29 September 2011, 05:49:08 pm
I had a time waster like that today.
He wanted to know what 'would he get' (straight girlfriend session), so when I declined to go into detail regarding that, he wanted to know what we would do during a Domme session, to which I replied, 'it's all explained in great detail on my site, but he informed me he 'doesn't do websites'.
'Oh, well it must have been tricky for you to extract my phone number from the website then?' I said
that flummoxed him a bit, so I went in for the kill and informed him that I 'don't do phone sex' and if that is what he requires, to call somebody who will charge him accordingly.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 29 September 2011, 06:09:47 pm
Quote from: natasha on 29 September 2011, 05:49:08 pm
[...] but he informed me he 'doesn't do websites'.
'Oh, well it must have been tricky for you to extract my phone number from the website then?' I said
that flummoxed him a bit, so I went in for the kill and informed him that I 'don't do phone sex' and if that is what he requires, to call somebody who will charge him accordingly.

Ha! Well done. :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 29 September 2011, 07:48:58 pm
Tell me about it. I have this deranged idiot who texts me every weekend (despite me telling him when he started contacting me months ago clearly that I don't work weekends and to call for a booking and he then texted back telling me he can't call  ::)). I have an ancient work phone so it doesn't have a block texts or numbers facility. Here are examples of the texts he sends weekly or bi-weekly which never get a reply from me but he has not given up even after months!!!!

"Wanna meet?"

"Up for sex babe?"

"Wots ur bra size?"

"Do u do anal"

"What d yu do for 30?"

"30 all in for everythin?"

"Wot size ur tits?"

"? x" {he seems to think the question mark with an added kiss will encourage me to reply  ;D

I just know on Monday mornings I will have a variation of the above from him. yuk, grr.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 29 September 2011, 08:50:05 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 29 September 2011, 05:17:28 pm
I never discuss "details" on the phone

I offer mistress services and don't take appointments by phone unless we have met already as it does atrract alot of chatters/freebie phone sex seekers also the instruction of you have to email me first weeds out the more serious from the not so serious.

But even with GFE I limit chat and will not go into details.

I remember when I first started there was a well spoken English gentlemen who would phone me about once a week to try and trick me into describing myself with a new reason why I had to every week. 1st time his friend gave him my number, 2nd time he got my number out of the paper, etc etc of course it never worked  ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 30 September 2011, 12:09:24 am
I am on a roll today!!! New email lol


I'm hoping you are available this evening to give me some outdoor strapon training!

I'm hoping you talk dirty at me, tie me up, restrain me, tease me with your fantastic breasts and see if I can take your strapon. I don't want full sex or pain, if that's ok?

I thought about a secluded park originally, but then got thinking you might prefer somewhere more populated. I thought about getting tied to a seesaw and fucked up my arse. Then I though about you fucking me (your bitch) in a dogging area. Or maybe showing your mates what your control over me. Or make something risky like fucking me over the beer barrels outside a pub!!!

Basically, I think I'd like you to choose where we meet & what we do. I think 1 hour will be fab, even if we spend most of the time finding a place. I have a car if needed - you'll be very safe as you're the boss & I'll be your fuck toy!


I hope this appeals to you, or you think up a better plan? :-)

 :o ??? ::) :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 30 September 2011, 12:16:48 am
Oh My God!

He's insane!!!! Talk about let your imagination get the better of you! How these men...or indeed women, think it's so easy to just do this kind of thing and not be noticed or have the police called for indecent exposure! And you'll be safe in his car and in the woods ....lol...dear god!

Note to self...do not expect any sanity in an insane world!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 30 September 2011, 12:55:41 am
I'm amused by the whole thing of course, but specifically that in his world taking it up the bum isn't "full sex".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelEyes on 30 September 2011, 01:19:52 am
That last comment you think of a better plan?............I can think of a number of responses that are very tempting he he. ;) ;) But best ignored I guess unless he  tries again.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 30 September 2011, 01:27:54 am
Quote from: Anika Mae on 30 September 2011, 12:55:41 am
I'm amused by the whole thing of course, but specifically that in his world taking it up the bum isn't "full sex".


ha ha ha...I'm crying laughing now! It's just so brilliant!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 30 September 2011, 01:49:16 am
Quote from: Anika Mae on 30 September 2011, 12:55:41 am
I'm amused by the whole thing of course, but specifically that in his world taking it up the bum isn't "full sex".

or painless! My strapons a beast!!  ;D

Also my first email has just updated as having 3 alias.. the one he contacted me on has sent 3514 emails!  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kimba on 30 September 2011, 12:38:52 pm
Oh thank the Lord for this forum and this thread!  :D

When you are feeling abit low and isolated in this work and when the thought of sucking 1 more Willie between now and Xmas feels TOO much sometimes, it just warms the cockles to see none of us are really alone in all this..So long as we can all have a laugh together at the sheer ridiculousness of it all..

Brilliant advice as always Emily and I have been feeling exactly as you seem to be lately..Could well be time to pack away my strap-on one day soon .. :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 30 September 2011, 02:53:43 pm
Quote from: kimba on 30 September 2011, 12:38:52 pm
Oh thank the Lord for this forum and this thread!  :D

When you are feeling abit low and isolated in this work and when the thought of sucking 1 more Willie between now and Xmas feels TOO much sometimes, it just warms the cockles to see none of us are really alone in all this..So long as we can all have a laugh together at the sheer ridiculousness of it all..

Brilliant advice as always Emily and I have been feeling exactly as you seem to be lately..Could well be time to pack away my strap-on one day soon .. :-\

Oh I hear you!!! I'm soooo sick of sucking willies! lmao

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 30 September 2011, 03:31:25 pm
Quote from: Coty on 30 September 2011, 02:53:43 pm
Oh I hear you!!! I'm soooo sick of sucking willies! lmao

Oh, I don't mind willies, as long as they're attached to decent clients! It's the colossal numbers of odd'uns and disrespectful people that make me weary.

But yes, as Kimba says, getting together with other escorts and having a good laugh (or cry!) about all the strange/mean people out there is really therapeutic.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 30 September 2011, 03:56:35 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 30 September 2011, 03:31:25 pm
Oh, I don't mind willies, as long as they're attached to decent clients! It's the colossal numbers of odd'uns and disrespectful people that make me weary.

Well I don't mind if they come quick or move on to something else...but when it goes on forever and you get jaw ache and a sore throat I just hate it! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 01 October 2011, 11:53:28 am
One of last nights texts;

'where are you'
and
'Is my money not good enough'

Eh? They didn't ask for anything though... ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NEWGIRL on 01 October 2011, 11:57:41 am
Quote from: natasha on 01 October 2011, 11:53:28 am
One of last nights texts;

'where are you'
and
'Is my money not good enough'

Eh? They didn't ask for anything though... ???

Is my money not good enough... I freakin hate that! Just because you have money in your hand does not mean we will jump at the chance to fuck you...

The other one is... 'are you available to meet me?'

Um, I'm not sure as I dont know where you are when you would like to meet or how long for?!?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelEyes on 01 October 2011, 07:41:44 pm
Friday night..............maybe they were pissed? lol. Just a thought...........
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 01 October 2011, 08:23:17 pm
Quote from: Lorissa Charles on 01 October 2011, 07:41:44 pm
Friday night..............maybe they were pissed? lol. Just a thought...........

I had that sneakin' suspicion too... :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelEyes on 01 October 2011, 08:26:07 pm
Awwwwwww oh dear!  Maybe there's just smething about.......Fridays .......at the moment????????? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 01 October 2011, 09:46:49 pm
well i dont get loads of weird calls but ....

years ago  i shared a flat with a friend of mine   and we got broken into  all that was taken was my thigh high pvc boots  and a few bits and pieces

so we never really thought much of it  untill the phone calls started  im going to call the caller my boots
me  Hello

my boots  hi is that Paris

me Yes how can i help you 

my boots    ( very sinister low squeaky voice)  i have your boots paris im wearing them right now and wanking over them    yuck
 then he hangs up

Over the years i have moved flats and locations but always got phone calls from my boots  telling me what he was doing to my poor pvc boots  how he was wanking over them  into them and wearing them !! Sometime he would call me every week /months then it would be maybe 6 months or a year
i havnt heard from him for at least 9 months so maybe he has fell over while wanking and wearing my boots and broke his neck  i dont know  but i dont want the  boots back 

But what i couldnt get my head around and still cant is that my boots were a size  5  and very very tight and really hard to get on  and off  and anyone  who has worn pvc boots with the high wedge heel will agree with this its like a corset for you bloody feet

So i just have this permanent image of some really small guy ( ie a smurff) wearing  my pvc boots  i mean he would have to be bloody small as a bloke to fit his foot in my size 5 boots       
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anika Mae on 02 October 2011, 12:58:19 pm
Just taken a call from someone who wanted to know how late I'd be working tonight. As always I didn't give a time and asked him when he was hoping for see me. 4pm. For an hour. o.0

Then he asked if I offered fetishes. I said sure, depending what they are of course, I don't have experience of everything. He asked what I specialised in and I said nothing, I'm just fetish-friendly. He said he liked to do a role-play where he was a doctor and he looks down my throat and then I give him oral. Right. Fine.

He asked if I still have tonsils. I said yes I do. Are they big? It's important to him that they're big. I said this wasn't something I'd taken an interest in so I had no idea. He understood of course, so could I have a look and let him know? Well no, since I don't give a crap about tonsils I have no idea what range of sizes they come in.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 02 October 2011, 01:26:40 pm
Oh my.... a tonsil fetish  :o Never heard of that one before! I have one small tonsil and one permanently enlarged tonsil (from after an op) - do you think I would 'pass' lol?! Did you actually have a look at yours after that, or google "average tonsil size" or something?  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MISS RUBY on 02 October 2011, 01:51:33 pm
here as some classic tw telephone calls....     tw 1 rings  me and asks  "what time does the shop shut??                                                                                                                                                                                                                              tw2    ," im doing some filming for the bbc can i come and see you"?. to which i reply" no."
he then leaves a message on my voice mail  saying " enjoy youre crack habit"....( yes because i must be on drugs)
 tw3 calls up and says "can you come to my home? my parents are away overseas,". then a strange noise in the background, he then says" oh my dads just walked in do you still want to come to see me?," to which i put the phone down!!!!
 enough !!!!
Ruby
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 02 October 2011, 02:58:13 pm
Gosh I'd forgotten this one....

When I was still in Portsmouth (still a wee bit green) got an outcall to Fareham......chatted on phone, no TW triggers going off except...

He said he was housesitting.....but he came accross pretty well.  I manage to get an earlier train, text to say.....ok to meet earlier.......he says fine.
Anyway reach Fareham text to say Im here.......no response......get to entrance a guy comes towards me......but wait......turns out this is the chaps pal, whose house it is, hes a sailor, just returned unexpectedly on leave.  My chap had been using his pal's phone to make all the arrangements and had confessed all on his unexpected return!

So I'm rather embarassed but I do ask him to pass on my comments ie. what a coward the guy was leaving it to him to tell me and how pissed off I am at my time being wasted! 

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tastylass on 03 October 2011, 07:53:36 am
Quote from: ParisB on 01 October 2011, 09:46:49 pm
Over the years i have moved flats and locations but always got phone calls from my boots   telling me what he was doing to my poor pvc boots  how he was wanking over them  into them and wearing them !!
i havnt heard from him for at least 9 months

Maybe he stopped because he finally managed to....

puts on sunglasses

fill your boots.

YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Simone on 03 October 2011, 08:48:03 am
Quote from: tastylass on 03 October 2011, 07:53:36 am
Quote from: ParisB on 01 October 2011, 09:46:49 pm
Over the years i have moved flats and locations but always got phone calls from my boots  telling me what he was doing to my poor pvc boots  how he was wanking over them  into them and wearing them !!
i havnt heard from him for at least 9 months so maybe he has fell over while wanking and wearing my boots and broke his neck  i dont know  but i dont want the  boots back 

Maybe he stopped because he finally managed to....

puts on sunglasses

fill your boots.

YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH


Ahhahahahahahahaha ;D Oh God that is brilliant!

Paris-That story HAS to win the award for oddest and most random on this thread (with a nice dollop of creepiness thrown in for good measure) Your poor, poor boots, what did they ever do to deserve such a fate?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dexi Delite on 04 October 2011, 11:01:27 am
Quote from: Dexi on 29 September 2011, 04:39:06 pm
It amazes me how thick some of these guys really are.  The jist of the story is...
I woke up on Wed morning to find I had a missed call and a text asking if I could talk at 11pm Tues night.  I replied back saying I can talk now.  Within seconds he was ringing.  He asked if he could make an appt to see me this coming Monday, which I said yes to, and could I turn up wearing a secretary style outfit with seamed stockings.  I figured that it was no great hardship so agreed.  He asked which area would be best for me to visit, and I suggested Manchester city centre.  He then asked if I could make it Monday morning.  I told him I prefer afternoons (I'm not my best in a morning), so we decided 3pm. Call ends. 
He then texted asking if I could bring my strap on (again not a problem as it's usually in my work bag).  Then another text asking if he could call.  I said yes. He calls and went on to ask if I have any fetish outfits.  I said I did, and he asked if I could bring one.  He then wanted me to go through what outfits I had (at this point I was beginning to get annoyed), he also specified the shoes he wanted me to wear (which he'd seen on my site).  Fine I said and ended the call.
Shortly after he texted again, asking if I kiss and do watersports.  Yes I do.
Then another text saying he tried to book a hotel on Deansgate, but it was full and could he call me regarding organising another hotel.  I didn't answer at this point.
Then another text saying he liked role play and like to be called big boy. He gave a little detail into how he wanted the session to pan out.
At this point I sent a text saying "Having considered our communication I am sorry, but I am going to cancel our session on Monday.  I fear that any session planned so meticulously will only end in disappointment, and I do not like to disappoint during a session.  I wish you luck in your search for another mistress."
I thought I was to the point and polite about it, and when I received a text back from him saying "Well, I was hoping it could be an introductory session so we could then tailor make future sessions."  I took this as though he'd got the message that I no longer wished to see him.  And what a good job, as by the sounds of his last text, he would be topping from the bottom everytime I saw him.
Anyhow, today I have had 3 calls from him.  I have ignored everyone.  I thought what I'd texted and the fact that I had wished him luck in searching for someone else would have been clear enough.  Obviously not.  Grrrrrr


Just wanted to get it off my chest, because I think he's a blithering idiot and wish he'd take the hint and sod off. :)


Since I posted this last week, the same guy has been ringing and texting incessantly, wanting a booking.  I've ignored all his calls and his texts pleading me to have a session with him.  I have just received another text now saying "I'm guessing I can't get a booking?"  Is he finally getting the message after a week of no replys.  Doh!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 04 October 2011, 11:14:11 am
I just got this message:
Hi there, I will be around your way this week, how about a meet?
I'll be staying at the Premier Inn, room 54

Bloody partner, taking the pee!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 04 October 2011, 08:14:49 pm
Just received this - I doubt I'm the only one...

Hello cat. Your a stunning woman. Adore your body. Your much hotter than my girlfriend. She's 35 from uk glasgow. She caught me looking at u on line and was jealous of u.. She has agreed that if guys at my work think u are hotter than her then she will pay for me to see u on cam for 20. U want her pic to see if u can beat her? What's ur email? U on messenger? My one is wilsonsuite2@yahoo.co.uk xxx rob need urs to send pic x

Erm. Yeah. I'm really THAT desperate for ?20 (or 20 mins?) that I'll jump through fecking hoops for you...and I REALLY fell for the "if guys at my work think you are hotter" shpiel.

*deleted*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 04 October 2011, 08:25:39 pm
...and from cam just now...

TWAT: can u tell where your tits end and your clungetrap begins ?
CatBBW: wtf is a clungetrap?
TWAT: a clungetrap is a fatbirds clunge, because once you fuck it you can't get out from under her
TWAT: lawl
TWAT: i just made that up im funny
TWAT: laugh for me u fuck

*kicked*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 04 October 2011, 08:47:29 pm
erm....just had a strange one...can only think he's mixed me up with someone else... ???

(he had "stafford" in his ID, but it's not the whole ID, so I'm putting it here as I'm in London and not sure who he thought I was...)

stafford: hi
CatBBW: hi
stafford: ui ok ?
stafford: u moved house yet?
CatBBW: moved house?
stafford: ye
CatBBW: I'm not moving house?
stafford: k

 ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 04 October 2011, 08:49:32 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 04 October 2011, 08:25:39 pm
...and from cam just now...

TWAT: can u tell where your tits end and your clungetrap begins ?
CatBBW: wtf is a clungetrap?
TWAT: a clungetrap is a fatbirds clunge, because once you fuck it you can't get out from under her
TWAT: lawl
TWAT: i just made that up im funny
TWAT: laugh for me u fuck

*kicked*
Bloody hell, I've been sort of toying with the idea of camming...
but reading this, I don't know if my skin would be thick enough...
Reading that made me  >:(  >:( grrr!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 04 October 2011, 08:51:28 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 04 October 2011, 08:25:39 pm
...and from cam just now...

TWAT: can u tell where your tits end and your clungetrap begins ?
CatBBW: wtf is a clungetrap?
TWAT: a clungetrap is a fatbirds clunge, because once you fuck it you can't get out from under her
TWAT: lawl
TWAT: i just made that up im funny
TWAT: laugh for me u fuck

*kicked*

wow, witty and charming all in one! gawd that fills me with enthusiasm for camming tonight *sigh* ok, off to put on some sort of an excuse for an outfit.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 04 October 2011, 09:00:34 pm
So I have this guy saved in my phone as "creepy threesome guy"..charming eh

Well every now and then he sends me texts like "Hi there how you doing?" which naturally I dont repsond too creepy guy or otherwise.

Today I got this "Hey, how you doing? Not heard from you in a while x"

Funny that seeing as you've NEVER heard from me ever???  ??? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 04 October 2011, 09:14:34 pm
Quote from: natasha on 04 October 2011, 08:49:32 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 04 October 2011, 08:25:39 pm
...and from cam just now...

TWAT: can u tell where your tits end and your clungetrap begins ?
CatBBW: wtf is a clungetrap?
TWAT: a clungetrap is a fatbirds clunge, because once you fuck it you can't get out from under her
TWAT: lawl
TWAT: i just made that up im funny
TWAT: laugh for me u fuck

*kicked*
Bloody hell, I've been sort of toying with the idea of camming...
but reading this, I don't know if my skin would be thick enough...
Reading that made me  >:(  >:( grrr!

Stings sometimes, but it's SOOOO satisfying to be able to boot them out for all eternity!! And if you don't get them the first time (ie: they leave the room before you can kick them out), note their name and boot them next time they come in...most guys are nice, and seriously, all the nice guys chase out the twats too  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 05 October 2011, 12:10:12 am
65 year old guy on AW......

Delighted if you would give me a very rough indication of total fees for
an outcall to Olympic Park for say an hour's fun please....solo and then
with cat please. Any discreet sources for viagra...that works !  Your flat
out picture is superb....looks reasonably tight !.......

"looks reasonably tight!" lmfao  Romance is alive and well and living in Olympic Park!
and another one  asking for bloody viagra! Grrrr.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 05 October 2011, 07:34:38 pm
I was sort of thinking the camming might be 'fun' Cat, but sounds like there's always one who just wants to make derogatory remarks, I don't know if I could deal with it as coolly as you...Will mull that over for a bit!  :-\


Quote from: Coty on 05 October 2011, 12:10:12 am
65 year old guy on AW......

Delighted if you would give me a very rough indication of total fees for
an outcall to Olympic Park for say an hour's fun please....solo and then
with cat please.
Not of the feline variety??? (please say that's his pet name for his penis!)
What is wrong with these guys???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 05 October 2011, 09:38:56 pm
Quote from: natasha on 05 October 2011, 07:34:38 pm
I was sort of thinking the camming might be 'fun' Cat, but sounds like there's always one who just wants to make derogatory remarks, I don't know if I could deal with it as coolly as you...Will mull that over for a bit!  :-\


Quote from: Coty on 05 October 2011, 12:10:12 am
65 year old guy on AW......

Delighted if you would give me a very rough indication of total fees for
an outcall to Olympic Park for say an hour's fun please....solo and then
with cat please.
Not of the feline variety??? (please say that's his pet name for his penis!)
What is wrong with these guys???

HAHAHA!! no, that's ME he's referring to, I'm Coty's duo buddy :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 05 October 2011, 09:49:47 pm
Quote from: natasha on 05 October 2011, 07:34:38 pm
I was sort of thinking the camming might be 'fun' Cat, but sounds like there's always one who just wants to make derogatory remarks, I don't know if I could deal with it as coolly as you...Will mull that over for a bit!  :-\


on the flipside this is probably the only job where you consistently get to hear: 'wow, you're beautiful' , 'what a great smile' , 'looking very lovely this evening' 'what great tits you have', 'what a great arse'.....it can be a good ego boost.  ;) ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 05 October 2011, 09:59:45 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 05 October 2011, 09:38:56 pm
HAHAHA!! no, that's ME he's referring to, I'm Coty's duo buddy :D
Oh, thank the lord!!
I am very protective over cats, poor little sulky bundles of fur.
However, sometimes it occurs to me that I should engage the brain before the typing fingers... :-[
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JennyJazz87 on 06 October 2011, 11:48:58 am
A regular of mine yesterday decided to leave me a voicemail (because I missed his call.) He was in his car and his radio/music system was going full pelt.  I could barely hear him. And just trying to listen to the voicemail deafend me, so I ignored it.
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 06 October 2011, 04:47:06 pm
Hi. I think I came to see you sometime ago.  How much do you charge these days?
?x
That's rather a lot to charge in this day and age.
Call me when you've saved enough up, then. (Hangs up)
Left him listening to a "brrrrrrrrrrrr noise" emanating from his phone...[/i]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 06 October 2011, 07:55:06 pm
Not strictly for this section as a client today came
promptly paid and was charming throughout.
Afterwards,
"Can we stay in touch as friends as well?"
"Sure, Pay-friends"   :)
His {rather cute} face dropped a little....not what he had in mind.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 07 October 2011, 07:50:15 pm
pay friends...I shall use that phrase myself next time....With:

*Hopeful*- Hi Tash (grrr, my name is Natasha!)  How much to just come round and lick you for a while? I don't want anything back
Me- I have just raised my rates to ?80 per half hr, but as I've  seen you before, we can keep it at ?70.
*Hopeful*- oh ok
...and *Hopeful* did not pester me any more...

I had a fabulous enquiry this morning...
*Hopeful#2*- "Do you charge"
Me- "Yes, yes I do"  (but thinks to herself, 'didn't you guess this from my site advertising myself as a prossy, with my actual rates specified?)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelEyes on 07 October 2011, 08:33:25 pm
Fabulous isnt it.?


Yesterday I had this:
    

Discount Hunter One :Hi, hun(grrrrrrr for starters)  are you working today?
Me : Yes
Discount Hunter: What are your rates  for a quickie, hun?(ugh I do have a name you know)
Me:?80 half hour. 45 mins ?100
Discount Hunter: Hmmmmm. Can you do half hour for 40 quid today hun?
Me No. I do not negotiate with my prices.
Discount Hunter:  No? But I am really good looking and  you get to have sex with a really..........
Me interrupting' I couldnt give a monkeys how good looking you are.  No discount' . Put phone down :-\


In your dreams mate...............




Discount Hunter  the 2nd:  Hello. Is that Miss Charles?
Me:Yes, the one and only.                                
Discount Hunter :  I am on such and such site but I cant seem to see your rates anywhere.
Me :  Okay how long  were you looking for ? Incall or out call?
Discount Hunter: :An hour or 90 mins incall.
Me:  An hour is ?130, 90 mins is ?180.
Discount Hunter : Are you serious?
Me: Yes. Deadly
Discount  Hunter: Okay . Ill call you back in three minutes.......'  ::)

Yeah, course you will, and pigs might fly!
    










 
                                        
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 08 October 2011, 09:39:58 am
Ok so this morning I wake up to this: some idiot tried to book me via AW for 10.30 last night at 9.58pm.  Now even allowing for the following: I had BACK SOON prominently on my profile; I never work that late and certainly not first time bookings; I always ask for an email to check availability first.
Had everythign been the opposite of that AM I SUPERWOMAN to not only get ready but get into the centre of Glasgow (via public transport, again I put that on my profile) in 30 mins!!!

Then I noticed he had offering services on his profile.....and surprise surprise 0 feedbacks!  Explains a bit but not being a knob and sending probably what was a block booking to annoy as many girls as possible!

(Sorry serious sleep deprived grumpiness but all aimed at him)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 08 October 2011, 04:38:07 pm
-
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 08 October 2011, 09:20:57 pm
Man turns up at my house, without reading my profile.

Man: What services  do you offer? Can I....(list of services I don't offer...?)
Me: I don't offer that I'm afraid.
Man: Ok, then what are your prices?
Me: (Stated  prices)
Man: Oh god, I think I left my wallet in my car.
Me: Sure.

I get so angry when people don't read my profile before coming! grrr
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 08 October 2011, 09:35:40 pm
Today, 15:30
Tony, the eternal optimist: "I offer massage, wondered if you fancied a reciprocal time. Tony"

No.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JennyJazz87 on 10 October 2011, 08:52:25 am
On Friday I had a guy call me asking if I was free on Sunday to go with him for lunch with his parents.  Basically he wanted me to act as his woman to please his parents or something like that.
    I don't mind earning money but I'd rather do it through what I offer, not sitting around in a strangers house feeling out of place and trying to answer awkward questions.

Needless to say I told him I couldn't.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 10 October 2011, 10:28:24 am
"You come to xyz town for a good hard fuck"

 :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 10 October 2011, 03:07:54 pm
Quote from: JennyJazz87 on 10 October 2011, 08:52:25 am
On Friday I had a guy call me asking if I was free on Sunday to go with him for lunch with his parents.  Basically he wanted me to act as his woman to please his parents or something like that.
    I don't mind earning money but I'd rather do it through what I offer, not sitting around in a strangers house feeling out of place and trying to answer awkward questions.

Needless to say I told him I couldn't.
The whole thin could have degenerated into one of those bad 'romcom' films!
God, that would be bizarre, sitting around the over cooked Sunday dinner, answering questions like 'so how did the two of you meet then?'
He couldn't have thought that one through. At all.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 10 October 2011, 07:31:44 pm
Quote from: natasha on 10 October 2011, 03:07:54 pm
Quote from: JennyJazz87 on 10 October 2011, 08:52:25 am
On Friday I had a guy call me asking if I was free on Sunday to go with him for lunch with his parents.  Basically he wanted me to act as his woman to please his parents or something like that.
    I don't mind earning money but I'd rather do it through what I offer, not sitting around in a strangers house feeling out of place and trying to answer awkward questions.

Needless to say I told him I couldn't.
The whole thin could have degenerated into one of those bad 'romcom' films!
God, that would be bizarre, sitting around the over cooked Sunday dinner, answering questions like 'so how did the two of you meet then?'
He couldn't have thought that one through. At all.

I remember a yellow pages advert that was exactly that!

One of the parents asked "Where did he find a girl like you" and the lady replied "In the phone book, under Angel Escorts" cue embarrassed looks lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JennyJazz87 on 11 October 2011, 08:04:27 am
Quote from: natasha on 10 October 2011, 03:07:54 pm
Quote from: JennyJazz87 on 10 October 2011, 08:52:25 am
On Friday I had a guy call me asking if I was free on Sunday to go with him for lunch with his parents.  Basically he wanted me to act as his woman to please his parents or something like that.
    I don't mind earning money but I'd rather do it through what I offer, not sitting around in a strangers house feeling out of place and trying to answer awkward questions.

Needless to say I told him I couldn't.
The whole thin could have degenerated into one of those bad 'romcom' films!
God, that would be bizarre, sitting around the over cooked Sunday dinner, answering questions like 'so how did the two of you meet then?'
He couldn't have thought that one through. At all.

I know it would have been so awkward.  If he tried to get a different escort to do it I only hope said escort refused, or if they said yes that it went ok.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ellie_e on 12 October 2011, 12:29:33 am
I'm feeling childish today and I know that one shouldn't respond to timewasters....but...sometimes it's fun to be immature!

Chancer:  I'm a collegue from Spain and I will stay in England next week, I'm avaible if you will need somebody for meet a client that wants a couple.
I work just with women but I try come here for see how is and I can work with somebody,I can travell.
can you let me know if you work with this kind job? my rate are for the first hour 300 and then 150.
I'm waiting your answer.
best regard
Alex

Me:  Nice try, but the only male escort market in the UK is the gay male escort market.  So if you're looking for escort work here, I advise you to reduce your rates to maybe ?100, and invest in a very good lubricant.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TSgirl on 12 October 2011, 11:51:05 am
That's classic Ellie!!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LizzieNewcastle on 12 October 2011, 06:11:02 pm
Got a call at about 10pm last night, which went like this....

Me: Hello
Him: Is that Lizzie?
Me: Yes, how can i help?
Him: I have been looking at your site
Pause
Me: Yes
Pause
Him: Your stunning and look like such a nice girl
Pause
Me: Thanks
Pause
Him: Well
LONG PAUSE and me thinking here we gooooo
Pause
Pause
Pause
Him: Are you there
Me: Yup im just waiting for it
Him: I want to book but ?100 for an hour just seems way too expensive and i would be expecting at least 90 minutes
Me: okayyyyyyyyyyyy
Him: you know i have been looking at all these other slags and loads are way cheaper then you
Me: i think you mean girls and hey im now ?300 an hour, would you like to book?
Him: huh?
Me: click

AW message today

Him: Hey are you free?

Me: Yes I am until **** if you would like to book could you please submit a booking form

Him: Im not wasting my time doing that your an ugly b****h anyways

Me: Pleasure talking to you, see you next tuesday.

Him: I didnt book?

mwahahhahahah

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 12 October 2011, 06:32:38 pm
people are such idiots  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 12 October 2011, 08:41:22 pm
Wow...couple of charmers there! why did you let them get away?

 ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelEyes on 12 October 2011, 09:01:27 pm
Oh Gosh!  Bloody charming, I don't think. I wish these people would   just realise that being abusive gets you nowhere and haggling equals CALL TERMINATED NOW. Asking to send a saucy picture is just ewwwwww and will not get you a discount.  Grrrrrrrr!!!!!


I now say the following for these such silly idiots:

,' No you will never get a discount now, or ever because first you need to have a booking. Which you do not  have now, nor will you ever  have.'


or ' It's about time you woke up and smelt the coffee.  In the meantime......' and then press end. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 12 October 2011, 09:21:28 pm
I had several dropped calls (they let my phone ring once, then rung off)  from this number yesterday.
Then today a text from the same number:

'HI BSE* babe does your chewing gum loose its flavour on the bed post overnight Jim x'

Is this some kind of secret code?  ???  ???

*I don't think he meant bovine spongiform encephalopathy- I am based in Bury st Eds.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 14 October 2011, 02:36:51 pm
Got this just now:


Hi huni

I love your profile i must say first of all and im kind of guessing we are similar in that we enjoy having fun.hee hee. Im married and have another profile on here with my hubby (RON & KAREN) of which we have great fun with some guys (im greedy lol) but i love the idea of watching Ron having fun with a girl while i watch and who knows join in.lol It would be at ours in Kingspark if ok with you maybe even sat nite if you can let me know what you think.
We can chat on the fone so you know im genuine and horny.lol

Take care hugs
Karen xxxx 07.....
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 14 October 2011, 04:49:40 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 14 October 2011, 02:36:51 pm
Got this just now:


Hi huni

I love your profile i must say first of all and im kind of guessing we are similar in that we enjoy having fun.hee hee. Im married and have another profile on here with my hubby (RON & KAREN) of which we have great fun with some guys (im greedy lol) but i love the idea of watching Ron having fun with a girl while i watch and who knows join in.lol It would be at ours in Kingspark if ok with you maybe even sat nite if you can let me know what you think.
We can chat on the fone so you know im genuine and horny.lol

Take care hugs
Karen xxxx 07.....
 

This is what bugs me about "couples". If a genuine couple for some reason they usually expect you to join them for free because it will be Super fun!!! Like it makes a difference  ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 14 October 2011, 05:36:55 pm
Mellow, do you see M/F couples?
If so, I hope they were happy with your couples rate....

Oh, you mean they wanted a freebee?
Um, what's in it for you? (Rhetorical question which they really should ask themselves)
....assuming the Mrs is real, aware, and actually sent the message in the first place.

A quick "Sure. I need to speak to your partner, prior to the booking"
usually kills the communication. Usually text based.
Where a man phones with a request to see him and his partner,
I again request to speak with said partner. Usually they hang up.
Though sometimes the phone is just passed across to "a matter of fact attitude" female,
whereupon a fee and booking time is agreed.
90% of "couples" approaches to me are usually single men, or tied men where the Mrs knows nothing about the proposed liaison

I'm fine about M/F couples as it's a lot more money.
But I get narked by the suggestion I'd see them for my single person rate
or worse still, free...Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
{And breathe...}
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 14 October 2011, 06:44:29 pm
Quote from: Friday on 14 October 2011, 04:49:40 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 14 October 2011, 02:36:51 pm

This is what bugs me about "couples". If a genuine couple for some reason they usually expect you to join them for free because it will be Super fun!!! Like it makes a difference  ::) ::)

I know!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 14 October 2011, 06:47:05 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 14 October 2011, 05:36:55 pm
Mellow, do you see M/F couples?
If so, I hope they were happy with your couples rate....

Oh, you mean they wanted a freebee?
Um, what's in it for you? (Rhetorical question which they really should ask themselves)
....assuming the Mrs is real, aware, and actually sent the message in the first place.


I'm fine about M/F couples as it's a lot more money.
But I get narked by the suggestion I'd see them for my single person rate
or worse still, free...Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
{And breathe...}
 

I've never seen couples, don't advertise that I do......not that I'd never say never!
I really wouldn't mind if I a) thought it was genuine and  (b)thought they'd actually pay!

Is it not clear that I'm an ESCORT and therefore have sex for MONEY!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 14 October 2011, 10:55:26 pm
 i do see couples  and this now sounds bloody awfull but  i have to like the woman and be on the same level you know same age or younger and can have a bit of laugh   
 
the reason being and please dont laugh at me  i saw one couple years ago and she was horrible , she lay there like a fucking dead fish  being gutted and ready to be put in the deep fat fryer i really really had no idea if she was enjoying it or not and she didnt want me to touch her husband either so  that was the one time i really really felt that i had earnt my money
   
Plus she was not shaven and i was plucking f......ng hair out of my teeth for f..... ages AGHHHH

I have no probs with male  clients, big men, big men, fat men, skinny men,  smelly dicks ciggaret breath b.o in fact  just about anything i have no probems with  and  i have a whores ability to have a  hardend stomache and nose  that dosnt really take in smells   but this woman honestly it was the only time in my life that i honeslty thought about giving up
 
i wouldnt see couples  again for quite a while after this really really put me off and they kept ringing afterwards wanting to see me again saying how much his wife enjoyed it   I was so tempted to say  really  i thought she was dead and  that you  had defrosted her specially for me ....... 


Oh and the one couple that i saw that started having a domestic argument  she wanted to know why he was doing stuff to me that he didnt do to her ......... 

     
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 15 October 2011, 01:51:22 am
Oh lordy dawdy!^^^
I've had 'enquiries' (ALWAYS from males) asking in detail what I would do with his participating lady...
Tbh, I wouldn't really know what to do with a female, it sounds daunting!
A WG friend of mine got booked by a woman once, and she turned up with her daughter and grand daughter  :o
Turns out she was responding to the 'massage' part of my friend's ad (she advertises in the 'beauty section' of the local papers), but before my friend discovered this, she had answered the door in a teeny miss massage outfit complete with stripper heels and fishnets!  So they both brazened it out (an hour long massage)...english stiff upper lip I spose! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 17 October 2011, 02:42:58 pm
Got this today.....

Hi, Im arriving in Edinburgh late tonight and would love some company, seen your porfile, wow I love the thought of making someone squirt, must be with my bare cock though.

If your intererested in coming to see me late tonight in Edinburgh hotel then let me know

Thanks

Nick xxx

Why are some men such complete f****** p*****
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 17 October 2011, 03:21:00 pm
This just arrived....

Hi.. I want to sex ... Tonight... I'm in london .. where I come???

Oh so tempting...
R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 17 October 2011, 04:22:22 pm
Quote from: Rooby on 17 October 2011, 03:21:00 pm
This just arrived....

Hi.. I want to sex ... Tonight... I'm in london .. where I come???

Oh so tempting...
R xx


LOL......yeh send him my way.
His command of the english language would make it soooo seductive...NOT
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kimba on 18 October 2011, 11:01:44 am
Text message sent sometime in the early hours:

'Hi, just had a great wank to your voicemail!'

I replied; 'Thanks for letting me know. Wanker. '
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 18 October 2011, 11:17:21 am
Quote from: kimba on 18 October 2011, 11:01:44 am
Text message sent sometime in the early hours:

'Hi, just had a great wank to your voicemail!'

I replied; 'Thanks for letting me know. Wanker. '

haha
I once had a voicemail sent in the early hours (luckily I didnt get it till the morning after) ' - went something like this:

Loud drunken (mumbling) voice:  " You want to be fucked by a big black c*** don't you, you whore"

Hmmm as someone else said..sooo tempting
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 18 October 2011, 12:55:04 pm
I had these texts from one persistent fellow last night.
- Hey...do you do A?x
- U about 2mo?x
- Hey! About 9am, or 4pm ish?

I respond:(why did I?...dunno.)
- 4pm is fine, pls call me from 10am if u wish to secure an appt.

He:
- I will do...1st time ever! What do you do and how much?

I:
-Please refer to my site for rates and details ***.co.uk
Have a good evening, I look 4wrd to speaking with you tomorrow.

He:
-I will do...Looking now!x
-Nice pics!Do you suck clean/washed cock, or do A?
-Never ever done this before...got married at I*****! Just want some fun!x
-Can pay by card if you're concerned?x
-Er...like I say, v. new to this...we good for 2mo?

I'm still waiting for him to phone me... ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ElleCouture on 18 October 2011, 06:52:01 pm
"Hello, I genuinely want to give you 1 million. If you want to fulfill my fantasy of giving that amount to an escort, please accept. Why you? Youre hot...and lucky"

Oooh yes lucky me! Now what shall I do with my imaginary 1 million???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KirstyPink on 18 October 2011, 07:10:03 pm
Hi I'm Matt and I was wonderin if you cld buy sum baby nappies like pampers an wear them an take pics an I will buy the pics an used nappies off u....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelEyes on 18 October 2011, 07:16:24 pm

Quote from: kimba on 18 October 2011, 11:01:44 am
Text message sent sometime in the early hours:

'Hi, just had a great wank to your voicemail!'

I replied; 'Thanks for letting me know. Wanker. '



Lmao   at your response ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 19 October 2011, 09:19:42 am
I just got a message saying:

"Ola"

Err ok...........
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 19 October 2011, 10:14:08 am
And a call....

"Do you do sloppy seconds?"

Me - No

"Are you sure I couldn't wait outside..."

Me - No

Yuck yuck and double yuck
Click........on the knobhead list for him
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JennyJazz87 on 19 October 2011, 12:20:43 pm
Quote from: Welsh Belle on 18 October 2011, 07:10:03 pm
Hi I'm Matt and I was wonderin if you cld buy sum baby nappies like pampers an wear them an take pics an I will buy the pics an used nappies off u....

LMAO I've always found that type of sexual fantasy to be rather..well..strange.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wendyanne on 19 October 2011, 12:43:48 pm
txt convo

idiot; hi can i see you today

me; yes what time hun

idiot; dont know yet give me your addy and ill come round when im passing

me; byeeeeee


yeh as if im gunna do that bloody idiot lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ace on 19 October 2011, 06:11:52 pm
So the other day I got an email asking if I'd be able to meet later this week.

All seemed fine and we arranged a time and place, I sent him the adress of the hotel in a full confirmation email.

He didn't show -_-

Today I get an email:

"It would appear that we did not meet, next time send the address or your phone number..."


um...check your inbox darling,   

Now i'm just waiting for the reply telling me he never got my message,  funny that, since i got a received and read notification in my inbox.. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 19 October 2011, 08:52:16 pm
Um, confirmation phone calls are good too  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 19 October 2011, 11:39:37 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 19 October 2011, 08:52:16 pm
Um, confirmation phone calls are good too  ;)

Yes confirm, confirm confirm!  Only way to go
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 21 October 2011, 02:11:53 pm
Well I can partly put this down to my being in a good mood yesterday as I'd just seen 2 really nice clients.........

Phonecall ......in which I get asked a series of questions, He never intended to book but I think was just waiting for me to say no after a series of questions about increasingly 'specialist services' most of which I don't provide.  I kept saying this is on my website......but for some reason I got caught up in a conversation anyway......stupid me. 

Then I get a text along the lines of  'if you don't like dirty things why are you a fucking whore'

Charming.
For some reason this made me totally forget about the 2 nice clients and I hadn't even seen the damm guy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TSgirl on 22 October 2011, 01:40:50 pm
From AW this morning...

wanna fuck me check my profile out? im 100% str8 looking for a ts, ive never been with a ts and its my fantasy :)

Oh yeah, I'm just gagging for it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NEWGIRL on 22 October 2011, 05:48:25 pm
Subject: hello
-----------------------------------------------------------------
hi sweety,can you give pee in mouth?

... Did you read my profile?


Subject: tonight
-----------------------------------------------------------------
please let me know if you can be coming to pub with me tonight to fuck in the toilets. 30min GFE.

...GFE for 30 mins... In a TOILET. Umm, what?


Subject: hey..........
-----------------------------------------------------------------
yes wish to book u

... Oh that's nice dear... So do many others... Glad you feel the same!

Subject: Meat
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hey babe, sure you can't be tempted to a quick one before you go out? ;-)
x

...Sure I would love to see you on my night off... Particularly want to 'meat' you too...

Subject: offer for today
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Good morning.
I'm looking for an amazing blowjob this morning for an hour.
It would need to be at my flat near Stockwell tube station.

I'm not looking for full sex, just a bj, and probably wont last too long!!
Would you consider it for ?70?

Hope to hear from you

... Oh... Of course... Like my blowjobs are worth less than my hourly rate...

Subject: Captivating overnight london
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I am captivating personality cascaded with true sexual handsomeness. You cascade personality and you are quite pretty too. I could cascade your vagina with semen that captivates from penis. You imitate me.

...No, I did not make that one up... I thought it nice that a true sexual handsome man would be interested in a girl that's 'quite pretty'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: improbablecats on 25 October 2011, 01:39:55 pm
"I am looking for a woman with your obvious sexy look that she is will say yes to my proposal.
I will pay for the air tickets, the hotel and the food for 28 of October till 1 of November so she come here where I am living (Corfu Greece) and in return she provide me with her services....
Please either you are interesting or not answer to me today so we can arange it and I book the tickets.

Thanks."

I'm just not interesting enough.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NEWGIRL on 25 October 2011, 01:43:06 pm
Quote from: improbablecats on 25 October 2011, 01:39:55 pm
"I am looking for a woman with your obvious sexy look that she is will say yes to my proposal.
I will pay for the air tickets, the hotel and the food for 28 of October till 1 of November so she come here where I am living (Corfu Greece) and in return she provide me with her services....
Please either you are interesting or not answer to me today so we can arange it and I book the tickets.

Thanks."

I'm just not interesting enough.  ;D


I've had this one, I think... Either that or there's plenty of perves in Greece who think we girls would enjoy sitting in a hotel room waiting to provide them with our services...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NEWGIRL on 25 October 2011, 01:49:52 pm
---> Earlier on this month...

Can yo do tomorrow morning in dartford about 830am?

Want 3 of us to fill all your holes, film it and cum over your face. 200 quid cum twice with all that.

---> Last night...

Can you come to dartford on thursday. 5 guys this time. 200 quid. You still okay with that?



WTF does this eejit think he is playing at? Couldn't have hit the block button fast enough!!!!!!!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 25 October 2011, 03:27:51 pm
Quote from: NEWGIRL on 25 October 2011, 01:49:52 pm
---> Earlier on this month...

Can yo do tomorrow morning in dartford about 830am?

Want 3 of us to fill all your holes, film it and cum over your face. 200 quid cum twice with all that.

---> Last night...

Can you come to dartford on thursday. 5 guys this time. 200 quid. You still okay with that?



WTF does this eejit think he is playing at? Couldn't have hit the block button fast enough!!!!!!!



Urgh:-(
Will be 7 tomorrow...oh no you blocked him...good!
What a tosser. :-(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NEWGIRL on 25 October 2011, 03:43:04 pm
Yep a whopping 40 quid per man... Lucky girl who gets that job!! If any girls in London/Dartford want his aw name PM me!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MISS RUBY on 25 October 2011, 03:47:55 pm
I get a call today goes like this " do you fuck mummy!!?"
i said  "no i dont ".
he says "please can you dress as mummy for me !"
i said its not a role play i do. call ends ..  .. rather weird .dont feel like dressing up as a mans mother to be fucked !!!!
Ruby  
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 25 October 2011, 04:02:44 pm
It was the filling all your holes that made me URGH...5 and 7 men bbing you everywhere for ?200...bargain! NOT!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JennyJazz87 on 25 October 2011, 04:11:16 pm
I genuinely had a call yesterday from a client:

Him: Do you do roleplay?
Me: Yes, it's right there on my AW profile.
Him: So if say I asked you to dress up like a native American, like cowboys and Indians....
Me:   ??? Um....sure (I start to wonder where the hell I'd get attire like that) anything particular of that sort?
Him: Oh the usual, head dress, feathers, facepaint.

I hope he doesn't want to do some sort of friggin' ritual.
 Just call me Pocahontas
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 25 October 2011, 04:17:09 pm
Quote from: JennyJazz87 on 25 October 2011, 04:11:16 pm
I genuinely had a call yesterday from a client:

Him: Do you do roleplay?
Me: Yes, it's right there on my AW profile.
Him: So if say I asked you to dress up like a native American, like cowboys and Indians....
Me:   ??? Um....sure (I start to wonder where the hell I'd get attire like that) anything particular of that sort?
Him: Oh the usual, head dress, feathers, facepaint.

I hope he doesn't want to do some sort of friggin' ritual.
 Just call me Pocahontas

LMAO...my ex husband use to like me dressing up like a cave woman!!! God knows how they get off on these things!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NEWGIRL on 25 October 2011, 04:21:39 pm
Quote from: Coty on 25 October 2011, 04:02:44 pm
It was the filling all your holes that made me URGH...5 and 7 men bbing you everywhere for ?200...bargain! NOT!

I know... Fucking revolting. Wish I could have thought of a witty reply - but I thought block would be less painful for me...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 25 October 2011, 04:36:20 pm
[quote author=NEWGIRL link=topic=1637.msg56128#msg56128 date=1319556099

I know... Fucking revolting. Wish I could have thought of a witty reply - but I thought block would be less painful for me...
[/quote]

Best thing to do...not worth getting into a message war.
Porn has a lot to answer for! Really surprises me how men think it's 'real'.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelEyes on 25 October 2011, 05:44:39 pm
Last night as I was about to rurn off my phone I get this text:

Your ice  needs latent heat. Wtf?????
Switch off phone and then this morning from same number

My cock is going soft.

I must see you urgently for warming up???
Yeah, in your nightmares ;D


Today I get a booking for 5pm for an hour. Okay great so I give address and go and get ready. Stupid idiot texts me five mins before start time and I am of course  putting final touches to getting ready. So I then  get out  my phone and see messages. Tell him to call; he rings and says I never answered his other messages . I tell him that it is best to phone me and five mins before appointment is unreasonable anyway. Grrrrrrrrr

He then sends five more  messages. So I send Kindly phone me to reschedule and show up or stop texting my phone.
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh




Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JennyJazz87 on 26 October 2011, 10:52:30 am
Quote from: Coty on 25 October 2011, 04:17:09 pm
LMAO...my ex husband use to like me dressing up like a cave woman!!! God knows how they get off on these things!

How strange
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 28 October 2011, 02:33:24 pm
Guy sent me this today -

Hi jenna
I want to see you but need to check you are clean first. do you get regular check-ups from your doctor and sti clinic?


Ummmm...fuck off... :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 01 November 2011, 03:09:18 am
Just read Friday's Crazy Greek Man email request and I am sat here, literally crying with laughter!
I've quoted quite a bit of the post, to illustrate that he clearly wants fairly straightforward stuff and can't spell very well.

Quote from: Friday on 29 September 2011, 04:17:37 pm
This ones rather special......

In this point I would like to ask you some things about our time together?..

1) I love giving anal sex. Is that ok? (I have a medium size coc?)
2) I love giving and recievingg oral without condom and I love it when my woman swallows.. Is that ok?
3) 69 is ok with you?
4) I love if you shit on my face and I lick your pussy for a very long time. Is that ok?
5) I loved it when the woman stroke, lick and kiss all my body. Is that ok?
6) Is it ok if Imake the same to you?
7) It make me crazy horny when a woman stroke, lick, kiss and take gently to her mouth my balls. Is that ok with you?
8) Making shower together is ok?
9) Making sex to the shower is ok?
10) Is it ok if we are completely nacked all the time that we are the two of us private?
11) Sub games is ok?
12) I like to be the Master and my woman to be the slave. Is that ok? (No pain things at all)
13) Role playing?
14) I like to tie and tease my woman and I like it when she make the same. Is that ok?
15) Is it ok if I give light spanking? (No pain things at all)
16) Would you do me massage?
17) Would you try to make me striptease?
18) I love doggy. Is that ok?
19) I love spooning sex. Is that ok?
20) But most of the times I like my woman on top (Cowgirl) facing both ways. Is that ok with you?
21) I am smoking. Is that ok with you?
22) Can I make some photo?s of you? (You can keep them if you like or to erase them to the end? I just like making it. I would like to keep them also but if it is a problem it is ok with me?.)
23) I want my woman not to wear make up. Is that ok with you?
24) Would you bring a very sort clussy skirt with you?
25) I love sort satin nightdress. You have one to bring?
26) I also love it like crazy when my woman have hairs to her pubic area. Is that ok?

I also have some fantasies I would like to try with you?.

1) Night nacked swimming and sex in the sea. (Only if the weather is ok and there are no other people around of course?)
2) I would like to play the game of rape with you. (Not pain or forced things. Just a very light roleplaying?)
3) I would like to play the game of rape but the way that you are rapping me?
4) The most times I had sex in one night till now in my life is three. Would you try please to make the three so many times that it would be life record for me?
5) I would like to have sex in doggy style with a woman that she wear only a pair of boots with high hills. You have maybe a pair?



I'm imagining him getting the booking, and being all excited. It's the shag of a lifetime, a memory he will treasure into his dotage, and all because he was so specific about what he wanted to make it perfect.......

Now look back at his first set of questions and read number 4 again :-)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 01 November 2011, 01:14:33 pm
Ooh, and I've just got one of my own!


"hi sexy, was thinking of booking but was wondering would you let a client try to get you pregnant? its a big fantasy of mine xx"

My reply......

"Really? You'd let me carry your child for 9 months, then raise it for the next 18 years? OK. My hourly rate is ?100. By my calculation, for the full 18 years 9 months, my fee will be ?16,440,000. If the bareback sex gives me HIV and I die before the child reaches 18, unfortunately no refunds can be given.
Please note, if a booking is more than ?500, I require a deposit beforehand. Please transfer ?8,220,000 in AW credits, and use the booking facility to let me know when you would like us to meet.

PS Anal is an extra ?50, and at my discretion"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 01 November 2011, 04:06:17 pm
Quote from: MissThang on 01 November 2011, 01:14:33 pm
Ooh, and I've just got one of my own!


"hi sexy, was thinking of booking but was wondering would you let a client try to get you pregnant? its a big fantasy of mine xx"

My reply......

"Really? You'd let me carry your child for 9 months, then raise it for the next 18 years? OK. My hourly rate is ?100. By my calculation, for the full 18 years 9 months, my fee will be ?16,440,000. If the bareback sex gives me HIV and I die before the child reaches 18, unfortunately no refunds can be given.
Please note, if a booking is more than ?500, I require a deposit beforehand. Please transfer ?8,220,000 in AW credits, and use the booking facility to let me know when you would like us to meet.

PS Anal is an extra ?50, and at my discretion"


That prompted a full-belly LOL!!! Well done!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 01 November 2011, 04:53:16 pm

he wants to rap with you   i can rap im pretty good at that  in a slim shady kind of way  ;D

and i bet he wants a 30 mins appointment and wants all of the below included  and of course dont forget the swim in the sea as long as no one else is around  ;D     

\
Quote from: MissThang on 01 November 2011, 03:09:18 am
Just read Friday's Crazy Greek Man email request and I am sat here, literally crying with laughter!
I've quoted quite a bit of the post, to illustrate that he clearly wants fairly straightforward stuff and can't spell very well.

Quote from: Friday on 29 September 2011, 04:17:37 pm
This ones rather special......

In this point I would like to ask you some things about our time together?..

1) I love giving anal sex. Is that ok? (I have a medium size coc?)
2) I love giving and recievingg oral without condom and I love it when my woman swallows.. Is that ok?
3) 69 is ok with you?
4) I love if you shit on my face and I lick your pussy for a very long time. Is that ok?
5) I loved it when the woman stroke, lick and kiss all my body. Is that ok?
6) Is it ok if Imake the same to you?
7) It make me crazy horny when a woman stroke, lick, kiss and take gently to her mouth my balls. Is that ok with you?
8) Making shower together is ok?
9) Making sex to the shower is ok?
10) Is it ok if we are completely nacked all the time that we are the two of us private?
11) Sub games is ok?
12) I like to be the Master and my woman to be the slave. Is that ok? (No pain things at all)
13) Role playing?
14) I like to tie and tease my woman and I like it when she make the same. Is that ok?
15) Is it ok if I give light spanking? (No pain things at all)
16) Would you do me massage?
17) Would you try to make me striptease?
18) I love doggy. Is that ok?
19) I love spooning sex. Is that ok?
20) But most of the times I like my woman on top (Cowgirl) facing both ways. Is that ok with you?
21) I am smoking. Is that ok with you?
22) Can I make some photo?s of you? (You can keep them if you like or to erase them to the end? I just like making it. I would like to keep them also but if it is a problem it is ok with me?.)
23) I want my woman not to wear make up. Is that ok with you?
24) Would you bring a very sort clussy skirt with you?
25) I love sort satin nightdress. You have one to bring?
26) I also love it like crazy when my woman have hairs to her pubic area. Is that ok?

I also have some fantasies I would like to try with you?.

1) Night nacked swimming and sex in the sea. (Only if the weather is ok and there are no other people around of course?)
2) I would like to play the game of rape with you. (Not pain or forced things. Just a very light roleplaying?)
3) I would like to play the game of rape but the way that you are rapping me?
4) The most times I had sex in one night till now in my life is three. Would you try please to make the three so many times that it would be life record for me?
5) I would like to have sex in doggy style with a woman that she wear only a pair of boots with high hills. You have maybe a pair?



I'm imagining him getting the booking, and being all excited. It's the shag of a lifetime, a memory he will treasure into his dotage, and all because he was so specific about what he wanted to make it perfect.......

Now look back at his first set of questions and read number 4 again :-)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 02 November 2011, 02:01:19 am
Quote from: MissThang on 01 November 2011, 01:14:33 pm
Ooh, and I've just got one of my own!


"hi sexy, was thinking of booking but was wondering would you let a client try to get you pregnant? its a big fantasy of mine xx"

My reply......

"Really? You'd let me carry your child for 9 months, then raise it for the next 18 years? OK. My hourly rate is ?100. By my calculation, for the full 18 years 9 months, my fee will be ?16,440,000. If the bareback sex gives me HIV and I die before the child reaches 18, unfortunately no refunds can be given.
Please note, if a booking is more than ?500, I require a deposit beforehand. Please transfer ?8,220,000 in AW credits, and use the booking facility to let me know when you would like us to meet.

PS Anal is an extra ?50, and at my discretion"



ha ha ha ha ha...excellent reply. did you hear back from him?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 02 November 2011, 02:16:38 am
Not so far! But if there's 8 million in credits waiting for me tomorrow, I promise I'll take everyone on this site on holiday. We can get pissed and think up names for the baby  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: improbablecats on 02 November 2011, 05:17:04 am

Quote from: MissThang on 01 November 2011, 01:14:33 pm
Ooh, and I've just got one of my own!


"hi sexy, was thinking of booking but was wondering would you let a client try to get you pregnant? its a big fantasy of mine xx"

My reply......

"Really? You'd let me carry your child for 9 months, then raise it for the next 18 years? OK. My hourly rate is ?100. By my calculation, for the full 18 years 9 months, my fee will be ?16,440,000. If the bareback sex gives me HIV and I die before the child reaches 18, unfortunately no refunds can be given.
Please note, if a booking is more than ?500, I require a deposit beforehand. Please transfer ?8,220,000 in AW credits, and use the booking facility to let me know when you would like us to meet.

PS Anal is an extra ?50, and at my discretion"


Amazing. Simply amazing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 02 November 2011, 01:38:13 pm
I know, can you imagine!
"Why are we so rich, Mummy? And why haven't I got a daddy?"
"Well son, funny story. Way back in 2011......."  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 02 November 2011, 01:40:09 pm
Don't get me wrong BTW, for ?16million, I'd break my 'no bareback' rule. Everyone has a price, and I'm pretty sure I'd do damn near anything for that much lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JennyJazz87 on 02 November 2011, 02:46:04 pm
Quote from: MissThang on 01 November 2011, 03:09:18 am
Just read Friday's Crazy Greek Man email request and I am sat here, literally crying with laughter!
I've quoted quite a bit of the post, to illustrate that he clearly wants fairly straightforward stuff and can't spell very well.

Quote from: Friday on 29 September 2011, 04:17:37 pm
This ones rather special......

In this point I would like to ask you some things about our time together?..

1) I love giving anal sex. Is that ok? (I have a medium size coc?)
2) I love giving and recievingg oral without condom and I love it when my woman swallows.. Is that ok?
3) 69 is ok with you?
4) I love if you shit on my face and I lick your pussy for a very long time. Is that ok?
5) I loved it when the woman stroke, lick and kiss all my body. Is that ok?
6) Is it ok if Imake the same to you?
7) It make me crazy horny when a woman stroke, lick, kiss and take gently to her mouth my balls. Is that ok with you?
8) Making shower together is ok?
9) Making sex to the shower is ok?
10) Is it ok if we are completely nacked all the time that we are the two of us private?
11) Sub games is ok?
12) I like to be the Master and my woman to be the slave. Is that ok? (No pain things at all)
13) Role playing?
14) I like to tie and tease my woman and I like it when she make the same. Is that ok?
15) Is it ok if I give light spanking? (No pain things at all)
16) Would you do me massage?
17) Would you try to make me striptease?
18) I love doggy. Is that ok?
19) I love spooning sex. Is that ok?
20) But most of the times I like my woman on top (Cowgirl) facing both ways. Is that ok with you?
21) I am smoking. Is that ok with you?
22) Can I make some photo?s of you? (You can keep them if you like or to erase them to the end? I just like making it. I would like to keep them also but if it is a problem it is ok with me?.)
23) I want my woman not to wear make up. Is that ok with you?
24) Would you bring a very sort clussy skirt with you?
25) I love sort satin nightdress. You have one to bring?
26) I also love it like crazy when my woman have hairs to her pubic area. Is that ok?

I also have some fantasies I would like to try with you?.

1) Night nacked swimming and sex in the sea. (Only if the weather is ok and there are no other people around of course?)
2) I would like to play the game of rape with you. (Not pain or forced things. Just a very light roleplaying?)
3) I would like to play the game of rape but the way that you are rapping me?
4) The most times I had sex in one night till now in my life is three. Would you try please to make the three so many times that it would be life record for me?
5) I would like to have sex in doggy style with a woman that she wear only a pair of boots with high hills. You have maybe a pair?



I'm imagining him getting the booking, and being all excited. It's the shag of a lifetime, a memory he will treasure into his dotage, and all because he was so specific about what he wanted to make it perfect.......

Now look back at his first set of questions and read number 4 again :-)


 :D :D :D :D :D

My favourites:

Quote
9) Making sex to the shower is ok?

and:

Quote
4) The most times I had sex in one night till now in my life is three. Would you try please to make the three so many times that it would be life record for me?=

I read those in a Borat sort of voice too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JennyJazz87 on 02 November 2011, 02:47:46 pm
Quote from: MissThang on 01 November 2011, 01:14:33 pm
Ooh, and I've just got one of my own!


"hi sexy, was thinking of booking but was wondering would you let a client try to get you pregnant? its a big fantasy of mine xx"

My reply......

"Really? You'd let me carry your child for 9 months, then raise it for the next 18 years? OK. My hourly rate is ?100. By my calculation, for the full 18 years 9 months, my fee will be ?16,440,000. If the bareback sex gives me HIV and I die before the child reaches 18, unfortunately no refunds can be given.
Please note, if a booking is more than ?500, I require a deposit beforehand. Please transfer ?8,220,000 in AW credits, and use the booking facility to let me know when you would like us to meet.

PS Anal is an extra ?50, and at my discretion"


LMAO I love the final part where you say extra's are included, great response!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 02 November 2011, 05:56:06 pm
Yeah, I thought the anal surcharge was a nice touch lol. No discounts, even if you are spending millions. Rules is rules! And now I'm actually picturing 'make sex to the shower guy' as Borat in his mankini!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 02 November 2011, 10:17:34 pm
Quote from: MissThang on 01 November 2011, 01:14:33 pm
Ooh, and I've just got one of my own!


"hi sexy, was thinking of booking but was wondering would you let a client try to get you pregnant? its a big fantasy of mine xx"

My reply......

"Really? You'd let me carry your child for 9 months, then raise it for the next 18 years? OK. My hourly rate is ?100. By my calculation, for the full 18 years 9 months, my fee will be ?16,440,000. If the bareback sex gives me HIV and I die before the child reaches 18, unfortunately no refunds can be given.
Please note, if a booking is more than ?500, I require a deposit beforehand. Please transfer ?8,220,000 in AW credits, and use the booking facility to let me know when you would like us to meet.

PS Anal is an extra ?50, and at my discretion"



C.L.A.S.S.I.C.

Excellent, LOVING your wit!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kitty_of_Herts on 03 November 2011, 04:08:21 pm
I have a very unusual fantasy which I would really love to make reality. I
will explain it but first want you to know it may not be possible in this
form. That said i am more than happy to discuss how we could amend it to
make it possible.

Ok my fantasy is for me to become panties, you would remove your panties
and put me on in there place. In my fantasy my face is against your pussy
and my arms and legs wrapped around your body you would wear clothing over
me. If possible you would walk about whilst wearing me, if you were able
to and willing to go out to a shop for example it would be a dream come
true. In an ideal world you could do so without even thinking as i imagine
you forgetting im there.

Obviously, there are some things which may or may not be feasible I would
appreciate any ideas or suggestions you have which could allow us to make
it reality?

I hope u will consider this and confirm im willing to incorporate it in to
a wonderful sexual encounter. If we can work it out im sure I will come
back for more as often as i can.

Hope to hear from you soon.






I just.... I don't even... ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 03 November 2011, 04:43:36 pm
Quote from: Kitty_of_Herts on 03 November 2011, 04:08:21 pm
I just.... I don't even... ???

LMFAO....me neither!
I thought I'd seen/heard it all but that's a new one! How on earth could you go out to the shops??? One of those dresses that Deborah Kerr wore in  The King and I?

http://tinyurl.com/3rv67c9
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 03 November 2011, 11:36:50 pm
I had a guy asking me if he could 'get to know me,' this morning, because he was 'really impressed by my adultwork profile, and had the utmost respect for what I did.'

Ummm...I kindly responded advising him that AW isn't a dating site  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 04 November 2011, 05:40:10 am
Quote from: Kitty_of_Herts on 03 November 2011, 04:08:21 pm
may or may not be feasible

I'm going to go with 'may not'. I am not seeing the 'may'. Is he Japanese? It sounds like a very Japanese thing. He could maybe abseil down the Statue of Liberty with a bathmat sellotaped to his shoulders, and be a merkin? Nearest he's going to get to being a pair of kecks IMHO.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MISS RUBY on 04 November 2011, 08:10:00 am
I had to laugh at that email that is too funny!!  i once recieved a email that read, " Hi i come see you back again,( id never seen him before!!!)  we are loving and kissing how is that with you,  this was sent from AW i did not reply....
Ruby x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 05 November 2011, 03:37:38 pm
I've got a streaming cold so I'm taking the weekend off...

Mr Sensitive  - U working today?
Me - Sorry but I have a cold. I'm better than I was but I'm not working this weekend.
Mr Sensitive - Oh, just wanted a BJ
Me - Ok, ?500
Mr Sensitive - Lol, cheeky. I saw you on AW can I book u for half hour pls i know you got cold but i really wanna cu. i want u to sit on my face and i wanna worship u
Me - ok, now its ?1000. What part of 'I'm ill' arent you getting?

I know I only have a cold and I'm going to be fine but seriously, if you see a bloke with an erection chasing an Ambulance it will be him!

R xx

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 05 November 2011, 04:00:45 pm
Quote from: MissThang on 01 November 2011, 01:14:33 pm
Ooh, and I've just got one of my own!


"hi sexy, was thinking of booking but was wondering would you let a client try to get you pregnant? its a big fantasy of mine xx"

My reply......

"Really? You'd let me carry your child for 9 months, then raise it for the next 18 years? OK. My hourly rate is ?100. By my calculation, for the full 18 years 9 months, my fee will be ?16,440,000. If the bareback sex gives me HIV and I die before the child reaches 18, unfortunately no refunds can be given.
Please note, if a booking is more than ?500, I require a deposit beforehand. Please transfer ?8,220,000 in AW credits, and use the booking facility to let me know when you would like us to meet.

PS Anal is an extra ?50, and at my discretion"


I just had that same message today, less than 24 hours after I made my AW profile!

Haven't replied yet, can't think of anything to say back to him unless I copy paste your response lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 05 November 2011, 07:08:05 pm
Doooooooo! I really sent that to him, so he'll die if he gets the same response. Or if it turns out to be genuine ( ::)) we can be rich friends raising our kids together haha

Sarah xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 05 November 2011, 07:54:55 pm
I did it lol... the only things I changed were the numbers since we're different rates.  IF he replies, it might be an interesting response lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 05 November 2011, 08:07:50 pm
Hahahahaha! Would love to see his face  ;D

S x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luvmylips on 06 November 2011, 09:24:52 pm
Best email ever came through today!


Hi

I could go to adultwork.com and get a BJ and Sex for ?50 from a slim sexy gal.
As you aren't slim, I will offer ?25. I will visit your place, you don't need to travel.
I guess you won't accept but who knows.

I am 32 with a slim body, average looks.

Tom

 ::) :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 06 November 2011, 09:35:37 pm
Quote from: Luvmylips on 06 November 2011, 09:24:52 pm
Best email ever came through today!


Hi

I could go to adultwork.com and get a BJ and Sex for ?50 from a slim sexy gal.
As you aren't slim, I will offer ?25. I will visit your place, you don't need to travel.
I guess you won't accept but who knows.

I am 32 with a slim body, average looks.

Tom

 ::) :o


What a tosser!  I'd reply to him saying that because he's only got average looks your rate has doubled.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 06 November 2011, 09:41:06 pm
Quote from: Luvmylips on 06 November 2011, 09:24:52 pm
Best email ever came through today!


Hi

I could go to adultwork.com and get a BJ and Sex for ?50 from a slim sexy gal.
As you aren't slim, I will offer ?25. I will visit your place, you don't need to travel.
I guess you won't accept but who knows.

I am 32 with a slim body, average looks.

Tom

 ::) :o


TOSSER! A suitable reply would be:

Hi

I advertise on adultwork.com and give a BJ and Sex for?150 to all lovely men.
As you aren't lovely and have average looks, I will accept ?300. I will visit your place, you don't need to travel.
I guess you won't accept but who knows.

Me
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 07 November 2011, 05:57:44 am
Well I've finally had a reply to a reverse booking! First time ever........

How are you with fluids? Specifically drinking piss from source, swallow and then being forced to vomit?
Your answer may decide who I allow to visit me.


My reply.....Good luck with that mate!


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Camomile on 07 November 2011, 01:01:38 pm
Phone call from Adultwork today (my photos are on there)

Twat -"Hey Sexy"

Me- "The name is Ambs, how can I help you?"

Twat- "You look good you know"

Me- "Why thank you, how can I help you?"

Twat- "So are you white or black?"

Me- "Meh, please refer back to my photos and call me then"

Twat - "Bloody p@kis, go eat curry"

Charming  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 07 November 2011, 11:43:40 pm
Just got this from AW...

"I would gladly pay a small fee for your time or if your very interested then doing it free would be good for us both."

FREE? Oh and a small fee... would that be my going rate? I doubt it!  He then goes on about a 10 minute quickie... bloody chancer!

Poor kid's only 19, probably doesn't understand how I make my living.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 08 November 2011, 09:34:20 am
My phone, in about 20 minutes...
Meanwhile,
My voicemail - I'm on the Playstation right now; ...I may be some time...   ;D


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 08 November 2011, 12:58:23 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 08 November 2011, 09:34:20 am
My phone, in about 20 minutes...
  • Potential caller - Hi Jodie. I recently saw your escort friend xyz.
    She suggested that I give you a call sometime. I've since checked out your site and AW profile.
    Your looks, services and fee all look great, so I'd like to make a booking.
    I'm interested in seeing you today for an hour. Either mid afternoon or after 7pm.

    Jodie - Are you totally insane to even suggest such a thing, today, 08/11/11?
    You do know what gets released today? Here's a clue >>>MW3 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=zuzaxlddWbk)<<<


Oh I'm sooo glad that I'm not the only one!!! x
Meanwhile,
Jodie's voicemail - I'm on the xbox right now; ...I may be some time...   ;D



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 08 November 2011, 01:01:10 pm
Got this a few days ago.....

Darling SS

Love the sound of spending time with you. I'm visiting Glasgow on the evening of the 9th December and I'm looking for an excuse to stay up there for the night rather than grab the shuttle home...could you be it?

M xxx

Mmmm someone looking for a freebie............NOT!
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 08 November 2011, 01:03:22 pm
And this recently........


Hello, my name is Alex, I am from Sweeden, but I live in Cork, Ireland now. I do escort myself, but also see others escorts to have fun. Problem is, even with high rates, here are not much ladies working in Cork. Do you ever consider touring Cork? I can help you with everything free of charge, maybe some fun in return ;). If you have any questions or you need any help, don?t hesitate to contact me. Thanks
 

Oh what a surprise a male escort sending an email like THIS!!  Of course I'm incapable of managing touring myself, and payment in kind, NO problem! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: scottishgirl001 on 08 November 2011, 01:27:50 pm
Quote from: MissThang on 02 November 2011, 01:40:09 pm
Don't get me wrong BTW, for ?16million, I'd break my 'no bareback' rule. Everyone has a price, and I'm pretty sure I'd do damn near anything for that much lol!


after all, we DO have to die of SOMETHING sometime!!! :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: scottishgirl001 on 08 November 2011, 01:31:24 pm
Quote from: MissThang on 05 November 2011, 07:08:05 pm
Doooooooo! I really sent that to him, so he'll die if he gets the same response. Or if it turns out to be genuine ( ::)) we can be rich friends raising our kids together haha

Sarah xx

Can I join this new elusive club?  I quite fancy being a millionairess!!  And who knows  it may be twins!!! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 08 November 2011, 04:22:17 pm
Of course!
He seems to be doing the rounds, so you should get your passport-to-unimaginable-luxury/poorly-worded-request-for-bareback any time soon...... ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 08 November 2011, 11:03:09 pm
HIM: ya wanna hook up babe?
ME: would you like to make a booking?
HIM: ya wanna meet?
ME: would you like to make a booking to see me?
HIM: ha ha

 ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TSgirl on 09 November 2011, 12:21:28 am
Quote from: Mellow on 08 November 2011, 01:03:22 pm
And this recently........


Hello, my name is Alex, I am from Sweeden, but I live in Cork, Ireland now. I do escort myself, but also see others escorts to have fun. Problem is, even with high rates, here are not much ladies working in Cork. Do you ever consider touring Cork? I can help you with everything free of charge, maybe some fun in return ;). If you have any questions or you need any help, don?t hesitate to contact me. Thanks
 

Oh what a surprise a male escort sending an email like THIS!!  Of course I'm incapable of managing touring myself, and payment in kind, NO problem! 

hehehehe, received that too...


Hello, my name is Alex, I am from Sweeden, but I live in Cork, Ireland now. I do escort myself, but also see others escorts to have fun. Problem is, even with high rates, here are not much TS working in Cork. Do you ever consider touring Cork? I can help you with everything free of charge, maybe some fun in return ;). If you have any questions or you need any help, don?t hesitate to contact me. Thanks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 09 November 2011, 09:18:34 am
I'm amused by "Sweeden", even though I know they don't call it that there so he may not be familiar with English spelling. They call it Svenskar.




This post was brought to you by the Google searches "What language to they speak in Sweden" and "What is Swedish for Sweden"  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 09 November 2011, 10:30:35 am
Yes I wondered how many zillions he had sent that one too!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 09 November 2011, 05:24:45 pm
Message received just now:

"Book me in ASAP babe"


Wonder if he'd try booking a hotel like that? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 10 November 2011, 01:46:01 am
I got this treasure today -

'Hi Jen
I am a male escort looking to treat myself today, are you interested?'

I replied that he was more than welcome to book me, and he replied -

'I thought we'd just hook up. No business, just pleasure. I'm a really good-looking guy and you won't be disappointed...'

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 10 November 2011, 10:01:11 am
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 10 November 2011, 01:46:01 am
I got this treasure today -

'Hi Jen
I am a male escort looking to treat myself today, are you interested?'

I replied that he was more than welcome to book me, and he replied -

'I thought we'd just hook up. No business, just pleasure. I'm a really good-looking guy and you won't be disappointed...'

 ::)

Urgh. I find the so called male escorts are sooo much worse than the worst kind of punter as they are sooooo up themselves. Yuck!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kimba on 10 November 2011, 10:24:17 am
..and what does he mean by "Treat myself" then? Surely that implies a financial outlay of some kind on his part?

What he should have said was, " I'm looking for an Escort to treat me to a freebie, for no other reason than I will be desirable to her.. "
They think we are all sex-crazed nymphos who yank in the postman by his mailbag when we aren't getting it elsewhere..
Now there's a thought!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 10 November 2011, 01:40:52 pm
Get sexually turned on by a random stranger without them handing over a pile of ?20's?
Seriously, is that possible? (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-confused002.gif) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

Na, impossible. (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-basic/happyno.gif) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 10 November 2011, 03:12:43 pm
Oh and this one today -

Hi, I am a boxer, 27, fit and sexy, with a huge cock. You will fall in luv with me babe. When can I see you?

....right.... :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ellie_e on 10 November 2011, 09:57:19 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 10 November 2011, 03:12:43 pm
with a huge cock. You will fall in luv with me babe.


why do they think our panties will just fall of for a huge cock?!  Don't they think we have enough willies in our lives and that little ones are actually far easier to deal with?!?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 10 November 2011, 10:06:40 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 10 November 2011, 03:12:43 pm
Oh and this one today -

Hi, I am a boxer, 27, fit and sexy, with a huge cock. You will fall in luv with me babe. When can I see you?

....right.... :-\

mwhahaha...oh thank fuck for this thread!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 10 November 2011, 10:52:27 pm
You do seem to get some crazies out there... and Cat, your milk seeking guy make me laugh I'm so glad I wasn't drinking my tea at the time.

Just got this one on AW... I'm just thinking how the hell do I reply to this...

I came in to some money over a year ago and I have been partying rather hard I must admit, heh you only live once...

I like to book the overnight experience and enjoy the Dakota Hotels which are located at South Queensferry Edinburgh and Eurocentral Glasgow, they're very lush.

My plan would be to invite you to join me for a "party" style evening in my room... I would like to make you aware that I really do enjoy the "highs" of the party experience. My preference would be for us both to indulge with my " little white Colombian friend " if you follow my drift? I have been organising such private one on one parties for over a year now so I know what I'm doing. I enjoy meeting new girls and I have partied so far with student types to pornstars all I must confirm very entertaining evenings...

Please confirm to me if you are comfortable with us both enjoying and " indulging " in such a situation?

I really must say I do like your profile, you look so lovely in your pictures...

Look very much forward to hearing from you...

So I got as far as, "Sorry I don't take drugs, I don't drink either. Nor would I consider an overnight booking in a party atmosphere as my safety is of utmost importance to me"  Then I deleted it thinking that I don't think I should bother to reply....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kitty_of_Herts on 11 November 2011, 10:30:01 am
Dear "party guy",

As "incredible" as your offer sounds, I can think of much "better" ways to spend my time, such as "washing my hair", "doing the dishes" or "banging my head multiple times against a hard surface".

I am very "sorry" but shall have to "decline". "Apologies".
 
::)

Quote from: Holly G on 10 November 2011, 10:52:27 pm
You do seem to get some crazies out there... and Cat, your milk seeking guy make me laugh I'm so glad I wasn't drinking my tea at the time.

Just got this one on AW... I'm just thinking how the hell do I reply to this...

I came in to some money over a year ago and I have been partying rather hard I must admit, heh you only live once...

I like to book the overnight experience and enjoy the Dakota Hotels which are located at South Queensferry Edinburgh and Eurocentral Glasgow, they're very lush.

My plan would be to invite you to join me for a "party" style evening in my room... I would like to make you aware that I really do enjoy the "highs" of the party experience. My preference would be for us both to indulge with my " little white Colombian friend " if you follow my drift? I have been organising such private one on one parties for over a year now so I know what I'm doing. I enjoy meeting new girls and I have partied so far with student types to pornstars all I must confirm very entertaining evenings...

Please confirm to me if you are comfortable with us both enjoying and " indulging " in such a situation?

I really must say I do like your profile, you look so lovely in your pictures...

Look very much forward to hearing from you...

So I got as far as, "Sorry I don't take drugs, I don't drink either. Nor would I consider an overnight booking in a party atmosphere as my safety is of utmost importance to me"  Then I deleted it thinking that I don't think I should bother to reply....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 11 November 2011, 04:27:42 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 11 November 2011, 11:02:29 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 10 November 2011, 10:29:58 pm
*heavily edited*
HIM: can i get u prgnant
Holy Christ!  :o

My sentiments too... although you could have tried to get a multi-million credit transfer and join the "rich escort mummy group".

In all seriousness... I thought most men are afraid of anything to do with pregnancy, even if it just means being a 'donor'.  *shudders at the thought of conception fetishes*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 11 November 2011, 07:37:22 pm
Quote from: Holly G on 11 November 2011, 04:27:42 pm
In all seriousness... I thought most men are afraid of anything to do with pregnancy, even if it just means being a 'donor'.  *shudders at the thought of conception fetishes*

It's been theorised that this sort of thing has a basis in a desire to be dominant and controlling. Pregnant women are all fat and vulnerable, particularly with their clingy/emotional hormones zooming around all over the place (bear in mind I'm 25, never been pregnant and, as you might be able to tell, not looking forward to ever experiencing it!) making them basically waddling tear-factories with alarming aversion to certain smells, according to common stereotypes, so to a man who likes his women controllable, the pregnancy thing might appeal. Plus there's the pre-feminism thing where, yanno, women had NO CHOICE AT ALL about when/how to get pregnant and when/if to have children... so someone into that retro male dominance might find pregnant women extra appealing cos of links to that? Who knows? It's interesting, vaguely, but I don't think we'll ever really know. :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chantelheywood on 12 November 2011, 10:34:17 pm
I had one yesterday on AW:

Subject: I LIKE SEX WITH YOU

i want sex in with you

HUH!?!?

and another today:

subject: quicky car shag

I know u said u dont do in car, im wonderin if ud do it for me?

err no? if i specified i don't do that, don't even ask!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NorthernIrishNatalie on 13 November 2011, 10:52:53 am
This forum makes me laugh each post I read. There are some absolute eejits out there.
 I am very prone to receiving texts at stupid o'clock in the morning from young lads high on drugs and clearly from undesirable areas. I really don't know why I attract them. My profile is well written and states I am not into drugs or men who text speak and think they're gangstaa. My duo partner who's profile is badly written and spelt attracts none of this crap. Hhhhmmm.
 Anyway, three weeks at 6.45am.
 Idiot: Sup bbz ne chance iz get a fuck of ye
 Idiot: Mon ova mi huz sxy gat loadsa coke n pills annol
 Idiot then rings and this is the jist of the conversation: FFS luv wize up n stap bein lik dis n we can hav fun mon ova me n seamus r sittin ere on it luvin it
 Me: Sorry but I do not visit anyone who takes drugs and is blatantly advertising that they are on them and offering them.
 Idiot: Awww FFS wee girl mon ni
 ME: Please do not call me untill you have sobered up, washed, found a job and learnt how to speak and spell properly. Goodbye.
 Idiot: Al ring ye tha marra sweetcheeks n ye cum ova n parrttyy wiv us lat
 
Last night on hearing I am going to be back in Belfast for a few days I get the same guy who has been trying to book me for weeks calling me about an appointment tonight.
 Potential client/chancer: Hiya hunni I'm glad to hear you're home for a few days. My Gf is off work at the moment and is available to meet with us tomorrow night. Seeing as we have been meaning to meet for weeks and you haven't been able to you'll see us both for ?100 for the hour won't ya?
 Me: We haven't been able to meet as you last minute canceled the three bookings you'd made with me then on attempting to book again for the another night were informed I had moved to England. So it was not my fault. And besides I charge ?150 per hour for you alone, you're Gf ontop would be ?220.
 
I have had guys offering me xbox's, signed football shirts, pure breed puppies and all sorts instead of a cash payment for my services. The worst I think are guys who book for a half hour and ask if it's ok if they stay over the time. A few minutes I am not going to overally grumble about but when they say how about I stay an extra 20 minutes plus. Oh pleasseeeee. How about I cut your booking short by 20 minutes. Nope thought not.
    Natalie Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 13 November 2011, 12:14:05 pm
-
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 13 November 2011, 04:21:55 pm
Quote from: NorthernIrishNatalie on 13 November 2011, 10:52:53 am
This forum makes me laugh each post I read. There are some absolute eejits out there.
 I am very prone to receiving texts at stupid o'clock in the morning from young lads high on drugs and clearly from undesirable areas. I really don't know why I attract them. My profile is well written and states I am not into drugs or men who text speak and think they're gangstaa. My duo partner who's profile is badly written and spelt attracts none of this crap. Hhhhmmm.
 Anyway, three weeks at 6.45am.
 Idiot: Sup bbz ne chance iz get a fuck of ye
 Idiot: Mon ova mi huz sxy gat loadsa coke n pills annol
 Idiot then rings and this is the jist of the conversation: FFS luv wize up n stap bein lik dis n we can hav fun mon ova me n seamus r sittin ere on it luvin it
 Me: Sorry but I do not visit anyone who takes drugs and is blatantly advertising that they are on them and offering them.
 Idiot: Awww FFS wee girl mon ni
 ME: Please do not call me untill you have sobered up, washed, found a job and learnt how to speak and spell properly. Goodbye.
 Idiot: Al ring ye tha marra sweetcheeks n ye cum ova n parrttyy wiv us lat
 
Last night on hearing I am going to be back in Belfast for a few days I get the same guy who has been trying to book me for weeks calling me about an appointment tonight.
 Potential client/chancer: Hiya hunni I'm glad to hear you're home for a few days. My Gf is off work at the moment and is available to meet with us tomorrow night. Seeing as we have been meaning to meet for weeks and you haven't been able to you'll see us both for ?100 for the hour won't ya?
 Me: We haven't been able to meet as you last minute canceled the three bookings you'd made with me then on attempting to book again for the another night were informed I had moved to England. So it was not my fault. And besides I charge ?150 per hour for you alone, you're Gf ontop would be ?220.
 
I have had guys offering me xbox's, signed football shirts, pure breed puppies and all sorts instead of a cash payment for my services. The worst I think are guys who book for a half hour and ask if it's ok if they stay over the time. A few minutes I am not going to overally grumble about but when they say how about I stay an extra 20 minutes plus. Oh pleasseeeee. How about I cut your booking short by 20 minutes. Nope thought not.
    Natalie Xx

Agreed! I hate people who stay over their booked time, because it is really really cheeky. If they are going to stay longer, then they need to book for longer. It really is that simple.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NorthernIrishNatalie on 14 November 2011, 10:50:16 am
Exactly! Some guys have a cheek.
 I was reading through some of my texts this morning and found some crackers.
 really wish my Dell Streak wasn't broken as it saved the whole conversations and it made me giggle. Anyway, here goes:
  :Guy asking me would I take a BB Curve for a half hour booking. I tell him no sorry. He tries to persuade me, awk go on sure you can get ?100 for it. I reply with no you can't it's worth ?60 max. If you sell it and get ?60 I'd see you for 15 minutes. He actually sounds shocked and cross snapping that I should sell it myself. I promptly told him to fuck off I am not a cash converters now go flog your broken/stolen phone to some other idiot.
 :A few weeks ago I had been asked to go on an outcall at 7am. I quoted ?180. He said "Come up for ?70 and I'll even make you tea and toast". Haha brilliant.
 :After loads of texts and pranking me the "client" texted "wouldn't fuck you anyway you've no tits and i'm no peado". Well a few days later he turns up to see my friend and doesn't like what he sees so requests to meet her duo partner instead. In I waltz and his eyes near pop out of his head, he cannot thank me enough. It was only afterwards when putting his number into my phone I realised. I took great pleasure in texting him "tut tut naughty boy". Lol.
 :I took a call from a guy last year, I was at home and my dogs were barking. The dirty bastard only started wanking and asking me how much to suck my dog off with me. I'm a kinky girl but I'm a vegan and very pro animal rights.
 :Just took a call from a guy there whilst writing this, he asks me to visit him about 40 miles from my home at no extra travel cost, I decline. He's just text me asking would I meet him in his car 40 miles from my home for ?50 quid.
 :Went on an outcall 2 years ago and I still kick myself for taking the booking. The guy rambled on and on about how he'd a massive cock and could fuck for hours and would cover me in bukakke like cum. Well there's me thinking he was the typical B.S. Teach me for thinking all clients lie. Haha
 Natalie Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 14 November 2011, 01:39:32 pm
My most recent winner...

"Would love to arrange a meeting, today if possible. I'd love for you to be bossy, and after I serve your needs, to be allowed to stand in front of you, sexy goddess, at full mast, and pay creamy tribute in a bowl."

Seriously??? Just the cash will be fine thanks... 

R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JennyJazz87 on 14 November 2011, 02:03:41 pm
Quote from: Rooby on 14 November 2011, 01:39:32 pm
My most recent winner...

"Would love to arrange a meeting, today if possible. I'd love for you to be bossy, and after I serve your needs, to be allowed to stand in front of you, sexy goddess, at full mast, and pay creamy tribute in a bowl."

Seriously??? Just the cash will be fine thanks... 

R xx

Lol that's the first time I've heard it being called a "creamy tribute in a bowl."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NorthernIrishNatalie on 14 November 2011, 02:16:26 pm
Creamy tribute in a bowl! Haha legend. Natalie Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 14 November 2011, 02:29:40 pm
Quote from: Rooby on 14 November 2011, 01:39:32 pm
My most recent winner...

"Would love to arrange a meeting, today if possible. I'd love for you to be bossy, and after I serve your needs, to be allowed to stand in front of you, sexy goddess, at full mast, and pay creamy tribute in a bowl."

Seriously??? Just the cash will be fine thanks... 

R xx

Ewww, that turned my stomach!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 14 November 2011, 02:59:57 pm
Quote from: Coty on 14 November 2011, 02:29:40 pm
Ewww, that turned my stomach!

Mine too. I used to have cereal for breakfast but since receiving that email I've switched to toast...
R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 14 November 2011, 03:08:25 pm
Quote from: Rooby on 14 November 2011, 02:59:57 pm
Quote from: Coty on 14 November 2011, 02:29:40 pm
Ewww, that turned my stomach!

Mine too. I used to have cereal for breakfast but since receiving that email I've switched to toast...
R xx


LMAO...that did make me laugh Rooby:-) Thanks for that! Yes don't think I'll be eating Ready Brek again!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sara1980 on 14 November 2011, 09:37:46 pm
One of the latest.......

Was! a Regular. 'Playing today?'
Me. 'No but I'm working from 1pm'
WAR. 'Is it 20 for a quickie?'
Me. 'No. It's the same rate as it was the last time you asked. And the time before that'
WAR. 'Lol your pussy clean and edible?'
Me. 'No. Since I saw you last I've started offering bareback and don't bother showering between appointments!'
WAR. Wtf?? Really?
Me. 'No. Ask a stupid question you'll get a stupid fucking answer!!'    ::)  ::)



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 14 November 2011, 09:39:55 pm
Quote from: sara1980 on 14 November 2011, 09:37:46 pm
One of the latest.......

Was! a Regular. 'Playing today?'
Me. 'No but I'm working from 1pm'
WAR. 'Is it 20 for a quickie?'
Me. 'No. It's the same rate as it was the last time you asked. And the time before that'
WAR. 'Lol your pussy clean and edible?'
Me. 'No. Since I saw you last I've started offering bareback and don't bother showering between appointments!'
WAR. Wtf?? Really?
Me. 'No. Ask a stupid question you'll get a stupid fucking answer!!'    ::)  ::)





Hahahaha! I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets fed up with ridiculous questions...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sara1980 on 14 November 2011, 09:48:27 pm

[/quote]

Hahahaha! I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets fed up with ridiculous questions...
[/quote]

Lol!! He did my head in! Stupid man!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 14 November 2011, 11:19:24 pm
Had one like that the other day,
He phones and asks if I have a 'nice tight clean pussy.
My reply? It's the size of a bucket and absolutely reeks.
He didn't book me... :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 15 November 2011, 12:50:05 am
Literally just in....

"Are you available by the off chance for a half hour outcall tonight!?"

Nothing too controversial, right? Except A) I clearly don't do half hours B) He lives 40 miles away and C) It is ten to one in the pissing morning. (It's actually also now been my birthday for 50 minutes, but I'm a reasonable woman, and will let him off for that. Note to self - log onto AW and knock my age back down to 25. I've been 25 for 9 years now, so I must be very good at it)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Candy on 15 November 2011, 01:43:26 am
:D happy birthday miss tang!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 16 November 2011, 08:12:58 pm
Great question today -

'Is your service any good?'

Um....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NorthernIrishNatalie on 16 November 2011, 10:00:07 pm
"I don't wanna be forking out ?200 for you both so who's the better looking between you and your mate?"
    "Erm well I am 5.7ft size 12 34B long blonde hair. She's 5.10ft, size 12, 36DD long black hair. So pick what ever you prefer hair colour wise and boob wise."
"Awk don't be giving me that for fucksake, who's the better looking never mind the tits, they all look the same when you're lying down and sure your hairs are all fake these days anyway."
 "Ok well seeing as you rang my phone from my ad you can have me."
"Right a half hour including anal and OWO for ?100?"
 "Eh no. I don't do either as it says all over my profile."
"I'll take your mate then."
     Christ give me strength! Lol.

Another guy following along the same lines asks, "so who's the better ride? who's the skinniest as the skinnier girls can ride better?". Actually mate, not true! Go do your research, grow up and then go and book someone who could listen to your egotistical shite.

Natalie Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 17 November 2011, 10:52:46 pm
Text conversation:

Him : Hi there, are you available for a meet tomorrow?
ME: When and where?
Him: This town
Me: How long for?
Him: how much is 2 hours?
Me: ?200
Him: I'll give you ?140 and drop you off home

eh no thanks?!?!?   :o

your ?60 drop off which naturally wont be at my house so I'll have to walk! is not as appealing as the ?5 taxi?!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 18 November 2011, 03:36:23 pm
Quote from: Friday on 17 November 2011, 10:52:46 pm
Text conversation:

Him : Hi there, are you available for a meet tomorrow?
ME: When and where?
Him: This town
Me: How long for?
Him: how much is 2 hours?
Me: ?200
Him: I'll give you ?140 and drop you off home

eh no thanks?!?!?   :o

your ?60 drop off which naturally wont be at my house so I'll have to walk! is not as appealing as the ?5 taxi?!  ::)

OMG! What a cheeky bugger!  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 18 November 2011, 08:07:35 pm
do u like semen? I want u 2 hav all mine xxx


 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 18 November 2011, 11:43:42 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 18 November 2011, 08:07:35 pm
do u like semen? I want u 2 hav all mine xxx


 ::)

I think I just threw up a little bit...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 19 November 2011, 12:02:08 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 18 November 2011, 08:07:35 pm
do u like semen? I want u 2 hav all mine xxx


 ::)

Seriously, and they say romance is dead... ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarita on 19 November 2011, 01:10:01 am
Someone left me a voicemail today saying 'I want to shoot my hot spunk all over your big tits. Call me back'. Strangely I didn't bother!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 19 November 2011, 08:41:54 pm
Couldn't sleep the other night, woke up at something am and turned phone on for some odd reason. Went back to sleep, awoken by phone call at 5am which I let go to VM twice. My VM message advised I don't take calls at this time of night, please call back after 9am in the morning.

Phone beeps again, text message arrives from said caller. Out of curiosity I look.

"What you doin?"
"Sleeping, I don't take calls at this time of night please call back between 9am and 9pm"
"Can you not come to xxxxxx road?"
"Go away, am turning phone off like I say I don't take calls at this time"

Turned phone off.

Turned phone on as usual around 0830, text arrives ten minutes later

"So that's a no?"
"Sorry I don't work in the middle of the night, and it's too short notice I have things lined up for today"
"Bad crack"

Suspect he was on some sort of crack, or at least drunk or perhaps he suffers from insomnia. Reinforced my belief that it isn't a good idea to engage with small hour callers.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 20 November 2011, 11:17:02 am
Phone call this morning...

Him:  I'm ringing for massage
Me:   Well I'm not a massage specialist
Him:  Do you do deep throat
Me:   If its not on my profile I don't do it

Plenty of guys want me specifically but I get so sick of guys ringing up who havent even read the intro,  (god forbid they read my likes list). 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NorthernIrishNatalie on 20 November 2011, 12:30:37 pm
"How much to punch your pussy for an hour" so I reply ?100 a half hour and I punch you in the face for free. Haha.
 Natalie Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 20 November 2011, 12:39:05 pm
Quote from: NorthernIrishNatalie on 20 November 2011, 12:30:37 pm
"How much to punch your pussy for an hour" so I reply ?100 a half hour and I punch you in the face for free. Haha.
 Natalie Xx


Perhaps he would have booked if you'd offered to punch him in the family jewels for an hour, as a bonus!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 20 November 2011, 02:00:07 pm
Quote from: Your Tera on 20 November 2011, 12:39:05 pm
Quote from: NorthernIrishNatalie on 20 November 2011, 12:30:37 pm
"How much to punch your pussy for an hour" so I reply ?100 a half hour and I punch you in the face for free. Haha.
 Natalie Xx


Perhaps he would have booked if you'd offered to punch him in the family jewels for an hour, as a bonus!!!

hell yes! @Your Tera
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 20 November 2011, 02:03:04 pm
and....WHUT??

email today:Subject: hi (me)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi I require your remarks/opinion on a matter. As you are a mature woman,
an escort and also well experienced which makes you perfect for providing
a remark/opinion. Hunny if you are okay helping with it, can I put my
matter? It wont take you more than 4mins:) :) :)but I?m sorry that I would
not be able to pay or place any booking for it, and your opinion is to be
free, but PLEASE, I would really appreciate it as it would help me loads.
btw u r damn sexy (my name) ;) haha and is that reaaly you? or a fake profile
with a model pics? :/ and (me) by no means u look 47

gawd give me strength, how do people find the time to write such bollox?

pondering the free remarks/opinion I might offer.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NorthernIrishNatalie on 20 November 2011, 02:47:47 pm
Haha I should have said that!! :D
 Natalie Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 20 November 2011, 02:52:43 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 20 November 2011, 11:17:02 am
Phone call this morning...

Him:  I'm ringing for massage
Me:   Well I'm not a massage specialist
Him:  Do you do deep throat
Me:   If its not on my profile I don't do it

Plenty of guys want me specifically but I get so sick of guys ringing up who havent even read the intro,  (god forbid they read my likes list). 

One of my pet hates actually. Why do most clients fail to read our dos and donts. It would save us all so much time.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NorthernIrishNatalie on 20 November 2011, 03:08:01 pm
Oh my days. "Hunn i'm really skint but we've met a few times before and was wondering if you'd meet me today for free. I could give you a massage and lick your pussy till you come over and over. Please sexy."
   
 What the fecking feck goes through some guys minds. I replied with "Look I fuck you for money and my when I want pleasure I get it from my fiance so wise up. And by the way, if you remember rightly we last met almost 2 years ago and I called the booking short after you repeatedly ragged my poor fanny with your nasty finger nails."

Natalie Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 20 November 2011, 03:25:56 pm
Ok so there are short notice bookings, then there are ionlyhavea45minutewindowtogetawayfrommywife short notice requests
Him: are you available today
Me: yes I am, when are you looking for?
Him: when you are available as soon as possible
Me: say from 3.30 (it was 2.50 at the time)
Him: no that's too late
Me: ok thanks, bye

Pondered for 1 sec as to whether it was worth rushing around like a maniac for what would probably be a 30 min booking and thought naw I'd much rather eat my lunch in peace.
But hang on I'm being unfair here a whole 15/20 mins notice, sure I can turn into a glamour puss in that time.
He didn't even know my location or how long it'd take to get to mr.
Something tells me he was desperately ringing round, going down the list trying to find someone who would fit in with him. It'd serve him right if no one did!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 20 November 2011, 06:35:49 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 20 November 2011, 02:03:04 pm
and....WHUT??

email today:Subject: hi (me)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi I require your remarks/opinion on a matter. As you are a mature woman,
an escort and also well experienced which makes you perfect for providing
a remark/opinion. Hunny if you are okay helping with it, can I put my
matter? It wont take you more than 4mins:) :) :)but I?m sorry that I would
not be able to pay or place any booking for it, and your opinion is to be
free, but PLEASE, I would really appreciate it as it would help me loads.
btw u r damn sexy (my name) ;) haha and is that reaaly you? or a fake profile
with a model pics? :/ and (me) by no means u look 47

gawd give me strength, how do people find the time to write such bollox?

pondering the free remarks/opinion I might offer.  ::)

 I got this, too!! And he personalises it!!! Blocked him. Just can't deal...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 20 November 2011, 06:37:33 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 20 November 2011, 03:25:56 pm
Ok so there are short notice bookings, then there are ionlyhavea45minutewindowtogetawayfrommywife short notice requests
Him: are you available today
Me: yes I am, when are you looking for?
Him: when you are available as soon as possible
Me: say from 3.30 (it was 2.50 at the time)
Him: no that's too late
Me: ok thanks, bye

Pondered for 1 sec as to whether it was worth rushing around like a maniac for what would probably be a 30 min booking and thought naw I'd much rather eat my lunch in peace.
But hang on I'm being unfair here a whole 15/20 mins notice, sure I can turn into a glamour puss in that time.
He didn't even know my location or how long it'd take to get to mr.
Something tells me he was desperately ringing round, going down the list trying to find someone who would fit in with him. It'd serve him right if no one did!


We can only hope that NO ONE did.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sara1980 on 20 November 2011, 07:16:48 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 20 November 2011, 02:03:04 pm
and....WHUT??

email today:Subject: hi (me)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi I require your remarks/opinion on a matter. As you are a mature woman,
an escort and also well experienced which makes you perfect for providing
a remark/opinion. Hunny if you are okay helping with it, can I put my
matter? It wont take you more than 4mins:) :) :)but I?m sorry that I would
not be able to pay or place any booking for it, and your opinion is to be
free, but PLEASE, I would really appreciate it as it would help me loads.
btw u r damn sexy (my name) ;) haha and is that reaaly you? or a fake profile
with a model pics? :/ and (me) by no means u look 47


Sad times.... I thought he was only interested in MY time!!  :'(   lol!

gawd give me strength, how do people find the time to write such bollox?

pondering the free remarks/opinion I might offer.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sara1980 on 20 November 2011, 07:20:17 pm
Quote from: Your Tera on 20 November 2011, 06:35:49 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 20 November 2011, 02:03:04 pm
and....WHUT??

email today:Subject: hi (me)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi I require your remarks/opinion on a matter. As you are a mature woman,
an escort and also well experienced which makes you perfect for providing
a remark/opinion. Hunny if you are okay helping with it, can I put my
matter? It wont take you more than 4mins:) :) :)but I?m sorry that I would
not be able to pay or place any booking for it, and your opinion is to be
free, but PLEASE, I would really appreciate it as it would help me loads.
btw u r damn sexy (my name) ;) haha and is that reaaly you? or a fake profile
with a model pics? :/ and (me) by no means u look 47

gawd give me strength, how do people find the time to write such bollox?

pondering the free remarks/opinion I might offer.  ::)

 I got this, too!! And he personalises it!!! Blocked him. Just can't deal...

You too? I really AM offended now! I thought I was his chosen one!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 20 November 2011, 07:21:45 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 20 November 2011, 03:25:56 pm
Ok so there are short notice bookings,
then there are ionlyhavea45minutewindowtogetawayfrommywife short notice requests
Him: when you are available as soon as possible
Me: say from 3.30 (it was 2.50 at the time)
Him: no that's too late
Me: ok thanks, bye

I get a lot of requests asking if they can see me in 10 minutes.
I've made a lot of money doing this.
Here is eleven minutes in my life:
(the minus 1 minute being me doing lippy/mascara while talking them in using phones handfree facility and also checking out car occupancy, noting make model reg....)

A lot of my clients are a spur of the moment thing and I keep a lot of business
doing the above.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NorthernIrishNatalie on 20 November 2011, 07:31:54 pm
JodieTS mine too. I hate pre planned bookings. I only take same day bookings unless I know the guy.
 Natalie Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Camomile on 20 November 2011, 07:50:09 pm
I got a text today-

"hi hun. i have a good deal for you. i have 45gbp to spend and i choose you for this. i like your pics you are a nubian babe. are you from brazil. so you tell me how long you can accomodate me for 45gbp and we will work something out. trust me i am sexy guy and will give you the best sex. okay. call me".

DURP.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 20 November 2011, 07:59:06 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 20 November 2011, 07:21:45 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 20 November 2011, 03:25:56 pm
Ok so there are short notice bookings,
then there are ionlyhavea45minutewindowtogetawayfrommywife short notice requests
Him: when you are available as soon as possible
Me: say from 3.30 (it was 2.50 at the time)
Him: no that's too late
Me: ok thanks, bye

I get a lot of requests asking if they can see me in 10 minutes.
I've made a lot of money doing this.
Here is eleven minutes in my life:
  • 3 minutes for shower
  • 2 minutes to tidy flat and put porno on DVD
  • 3 minutes to put on work clothes
  • 3 minutes to do make-up
(the minus 1 minute being me doing lippy/mascara while talking them in using phones handfree facility and also checking out car occupancy, noting make model reg....)

A lot of my clients are a spur of the moment thing and I keep a lot of business
doing the above.

Bloody hell you are a fast mover, I just can't get ready that quick - I do do short notice but I need half an hour notice minimum (and actually usually they need at least that amount of time to get to me).  In Glasgow about 90% of my bookings are same day, so I just have to work like that.  I'd prefer some more pre-booked so I know where I am and can structure my time better.

This guy just peed me off.  He chose the time to wrong when I'd JUST made a cup of tea and was about to have a (very late) lunch. 
The day before I saw a guy with 20 mins notice but he was very polite,  he'd tried to see me a couple of times before so I didn't mind rushing around as I knew he specifically wanted to see ME as opposed to some random escort.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 20 November 2011, 08:16:42 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 20 November 2011, 07:59:06 pm
...as I knew he specifically wanted to see ME as opposed to some random escort.
Like my posts,
I'm quite random in real life too
which is prob what appeals to them.   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 20 November 2011, 08:44:07 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 20 November 2011, 08:16:42 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 20 November 2011, 07:59:06 pm
...as I knew he specifically wanted to see ME as opposed to some random escort.
Like my posts,
I'm quite random in real life too
which is prob what appeals to them.   ;D

Don't get me wrong.random can be great at times;  a high percentage of my short notice guys do turn up; right now I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go waiting for someone who contacted me last night (he confirmed too but did sound nervous about coming to a hotel so guess it was 50/50
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 20 November 2011, 10:53:02 pm
I can, (and do on occasion), make meetings with 10mins notice.  A couple of mins for a shower, slip on a pair of nice undies and a mini dress and heels and away we go. I don't wear make-up and if my hair isn't great I just whack it up in a pin.

If I am home it is not a big deal. And they are more likely to turn up.

Obviously I ask them where they are so I know they are 10mins away and not fantasists.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 22 November 2011, 03:32:58 am
I'm sure I won't be the only one who got this little beauty!

how much for me to strip naked and wank off while u watch me and your
fully clothed?

we are talking 5 minutes wank tops - you dont touch me, i dont touch you.
love to be naked
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 22 November 2011, 08:42:18 am
Just when I was feeling left out.......got this email


Hi I require your remarks/opinion on a matter. As you are an escort and also well experienced which makes you perfect for providing a remark/opinion. Hunny if you are okay helping with it, can I put my matter? It wont take you more than 4mins:) :) :)but I?m sorry that I would not be able to pay or place any booking for it, and your opinion is to be free, but PLEASE, I would really appreciate it as it would help me loads.
btw u r damn sexy ;)
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 22 November 2011, 12:28:20 pm
My website has a 'Contact Me' function that sends me emails. I just got

'i love you so much you are very nice nice boobs every thing is nice'

31 times and my phone almost exploded!

R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 22 November 2011, 02:11:33 pm
Quote from: Rooby on 22 November 2011, 12:28:20 pm
My website has a 'Contact Me' function that sends me emails. I just got

'i love you so much you are very nice nice boobs every thing is nice'

31 times and my phone almost exploded!

R xx

C'mon, Rooby... rumour has it that you ARE very nice boobs!!! ;-) xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 22 November 2011, 03:57:25 pm
What an imbecile haha  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 22 November 2011, 04:51:45 pm
Quote from: Rooby on 22 November 2011, 12:28:20 pm
My website has a 'Contact Me' function that sends me emails.

http://yourescortsite.com/why-contact-me-forms-are-not-a-good-idea/ (http://yourescortsite.com/why-contact-me-forms-are-not-a-good-idea/)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: improbablecats on 22 November 2011, 09:43:58 pm
How not to persuade an escort to live in your house and provide services for free.

sweetie

i live in sutton, london zone 5, in a 2 bedroom modern flat. i wish to offer you one of my nice bedrooms in exchange for intimacy. between the two of us we will share the entire house. you will live-in completely free, so you do not have to pay any rent or any household bills

my basic requirements are that you should be trustworthy and must not be into any bad habits like drugs or alcohal etc. also you cannot use the house for bringing in clients, but you can meet clients outside the house anytime you desire

i am not looking for sex. in fact i had a tourist girl stay at my home for short while and was offended when i refused to have sex with her. i will love to have sex once i feel comfortable with you and only if i wear a condom

i fancy things like kissing and fondling and seeing you nude etc. i am 34 and do a nice respectable job in a company

if interested we can speak / meet whichever way you prefer

kisses
loverboy
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 22 November 2011, 11:17:09 pm
Text: Hello I am Like you can over night when book please let X

My only Reply (for my own humour really): Where are you?

Text: I am live in London

Text: Can tomorrow come London 11am in And 3 on leave pay *my overnight rate*!!!

Text: I am not Joke.. What think plan !

I should point out I live in Scotland and would expect more than my very cheap overnight rate to travel to london but I'd probably expect more than 11 hours notice too!  ::) ::) ::)

and well many other things, my high expectations are a real bitch lol   ::)


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 22 November 2011, 11:35:03 pm
great and someone just phoned me for Brighton tomorrow!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 23 November 2011, 01:55:00 am
Quote from: Mellow on 22 November 2011, 08:42:18 am
Just when I was feeling left out.......got this email


Hi I require your remarks/opinion on a matter. As you are an escort and also well experienced which makes you perfect for providing a remark/opinion. Hunny if you are okay helping with it, can I put my matter? It wont take you more than 4mins:) :) :)but I?m sorry that I would not be able to pay or place any booking for it, and your opinion is to be free, but PLEASE, I would really appreciate it as it would help me loads.
btw u r damn sexy ;)
 

Think he has covered most escorts on AW at least once.  He has been working his way through English ones, and he has emailed girls in NI too.  He even had the audacity to email on two different occasions - a week apart - even after I had told him to f*** off.  He's blocked now. Silly twat.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NorthernIrishNatalie on 23 November 2011, 08:25:43 am
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 23 November 2011, 01:55:00 am
Quote from: Mellow on 22 November 2011, 08:42:18 am
Just when I was feeling left out.......got this email


Hi I require your remarks/opinion on a matter. As you are an escort and also well experienced which makes you perfect for providing a remark/opinion. Hunny if you are okay helping with it, can I put my matter? It wont take you more than 4mins:) :) :)but I?m sorry that I would not be able to pay or place any booking for it, and your opinion is to be free, but PLEASE, I would really appreciate it as it would help me loads.
btw u r damn sexy ;)
 

Think he has covered most escorts on AW at least once.  He has been working his way through English ones, and he has emailed girls in NI too.  He even had the audacity to email on two different occasions - a week apart - even after I had told him to f*** off.  He's blocked now. Silly twat.

I was telling my friend about this the other day and then yesterday she got the email!!! She replied asking what it was a she's nosey Lol. Wonder if I'll be next, if not should I be offended haha.
 Natalie Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: scottishgirl001 on 23 November 2011, 12:12:09 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 23 November 2011, 01:55:00 am
Quote from: Mellow on 22 November 2011, 08:42:18 am
Just when I was feeling left out.......got this email


Hi I require your remarks/opinion on a matter. As you are an escort and also well experienced which makes you perfect for providing a remark/opinion. Hunny if you are okay helping with it, can I put my matter? It wont take you more than 4mins:) :) :)but I?m sorry that I would not be able to pay or place any booking for it, and your opinion is to be free, but PLEASE, I would really appreciate it as it would help me loads.
btw u r damn sexy ;)
 

Think he has covered most escorts on AW at least once.  He has been working his way through English ones, and he has emailed girls in NI too.  He even had the audacity to email on two different occasions - a week apart - even after I had told him to f*** off.  He's blocked now. Silly twat.

I received this one yesterday!  He's really doing the rounds lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Taylor on 23 November 2011, 12:31:03 pm
Quote from: improbablecats on 22 November 2011, 09:43:58 pm
How not to persuade an escort to live in your house and provide services for free.

sweetie

i live in sutton, london zone 5, in a 2 bedroom modern flat. i wish to offer you one of my nice bedrooms in exchange for intimacy. between the two of us we will share the entire house. you will live-in completely free, so you do not have to pay any rent or any household bills

my basic requirements are that you should be trustworthy and must not be into any bad habits like drugs or alcohal etc. also you cannot use the house for bringing in clients, but you can meet clients outside the house anytime you desire

i am not looking for sex. in fact i had a tourist girl stay at my home for short while and was offended when i refused to have sex with her. i will love to have sex once i feel comfortable with you and only if i wear a condom

i fancy things like kissing and fondling and seeing you nude etc. i am 34 and do a nice respectable job in a company

if interested we can speak / meet whichever way you prefer

kisses
loverboy

He messaged me before  and i am based in Southampton!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 23 November 2011, 07:55:07 pm
Quote from: improbablecats on 22 November 2011, 09:43:58 pm
How not to persuade an escort to live in your house and provide services for free.

sweetie

i live in sutton, london zone 5, in a 2 bedroom modern flat. i wish to offer you one of my nice bedrooms in exchange for intimacy. between the two of us we will share the entire house. you will live-in completely free, so you do not have to pay any rent or any household bills

my basic requirements are that you should be trustworthy and must not be into any bad habits like drugs or alcohal etc. also you cannot use the house for bringing in clients, but you can meet clients outside the house anytime you desire

i am not looking for sex. in fact i had a tourist girl stay at my home for short while and was offended when i refused to have sex with her. i will love to have sex once i feel comfortable with you and only if i wear a condom

i fancy things like kissing and fondling and seeing you nude etc. i am 34 and do a nice respectable job in a company

if interested we can speak / meet whichever way you prefer

kisses
loverboy

I got the exact same email!!!! Idiot!  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 24 November 2011, 12:16:07 am
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 24 November 2011, 11:03:53 am
Quote from: JodieTs on 24 November 2011, 12:16:07 am
    Annoying identical frequent 'one line' text I get from various people

    • Mr 'no social skills': How big is ur cock
    • Jodie template reply: We were unable to deliver your SMS message.
      The recipient has this facility deactivated.Phone instead.
      This will be a free call.
Loving the template![/list]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 24 November 2011, 11:12:09 am
Oh I've a ton of them.   ;D
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JennyJazz87 on 24 November 2011, 11:21:45 am
Quote from: NorthernIrishNatalie on 20 November 2011, 12:30:37 pm
"How much to punch your pussy for an hour" so I reply ?100 a half hour and I punch you in the face for free. Haha.
 Natalie Xx


LMAO Oh God that me laugh out loud.
  Either "punching your pussy" is a euphanism or that's a really odd request. Why would anyone want to do that?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JennyJazz87 on 24 November 2011, 11:31:08 am
Quote from: JodieTs on 24 November 2011, 12:16:07 am
    Annoying identical frequent 'one line' text I get from various people

    • Mr 'no social skills': How big is ur cock
    • Jodie template reply: We were unable to deliver your SMS message.
      The recipient has this facility deactivated.Phone instead.
      This will be a free call.
Love it!  ;D

Great idea[/list]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 24 November 2011, 11:56:39 am
Had a strange one this week.
This guy has called me EVERY DAY for the last 5 days, asking the same questions -

1) where are you based?
2) how much for an hour?
3) howfar walk from station?
4) are you blonde or brunette now?

Etc. but he calls EVERY DAY. So odd.
 :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 24 November 2011, 09:20:21 pm
I just got a text that says:

"You have mail  :) "

and that's it. no name. non recognised number..oh and no mail! lol ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 24 November 2011, 10:51:54 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 24 November 2011, 11:56:39 am
Had a strange one this week.
This guy has called me EVERY DAY for the last 5 days, asking the same questions -

1) where are you based?
2) how much for an hour?
3) howfar walk from station?
4) are you blonde or brunette now?

Etc. but he calls EVERY DAY. So odd.
 :-X

There might be something actually wrong with me, but after the second call I'd have been delighting in telling him different answers to the day before, to see if he questions it. By day 5, I'd have probably bought a small notebook to make sure I don't duplicate a response. I'm not really cut out for customer service....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RR on 25 November 2011, 12:45:46 am
Hello,

Is it possible just to quickly stop by for between 1-5 minutes to simply 'make out' and give me a preview for a longer booking at later date and to give me something to fantasize about?

I completely understand if this does not interest you and you don't need to reply.

If you are, please mail me back and quote me a price

Thanks.

C.

My reply: LMAO! Thank you.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miaken on 26 November 2011, 12:45:31 pm
Quote from: MissThang on 24 November 2011, 10:51:54 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 24 November 2011, 11:56:39 am
Had a strange one this week.
This guy has called me EVERY DAY for the last 5 days, asking the same questions -

1) where are you based?
2) how much for an hour?
3) howfar walk from station?
4) are you blonde or brunette now?

Etc. but he calls EVERY DAY. So odd.
 :-X

There might be something actually wrong with me, but after the second call I'd have been delighting in telling him different answers to the day before, to see if he questions it. By day 5, I'd have probably bought a small notebook to make sure I don't duplicate a response. I'm not really cut out for customer service....

Haha I'd have totally done that too! I got two new pairs of glasses once and on the bus home this guy was checking me out, and so every time he looked away I kept changing which pair I was wearing but acting totally naturally. His face each time was hilarious.

... I'm very special.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lexi on 28 November 2011, 11:18:51 am
Haha those are hilarious, can so relate to the 'open c2c bbe' messages!

Got this email though a few days ago and made me smile a bit (because of the poor grammar but also you have to scroll down on my page to get my email!

hi lexi... you are simple super... and i would like to spend some time with you in bed.... i didnt get the amount details in the website... can you tell the hourly rates... and sizes about you.

see u soon...sexy

grrr does slightly annoy me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jem on 28 November 2011, 08:29:47 pm
Rude man: (barks down the phone): ARE YOU WORKING?
Me: Excuse me?
Rude man: (still barking) - ARE YOU WORKING?
Me: Well hello, thanks for your lovely introduction, it is such a pleasure to take a call from someone with such manners.
Rude man: Oh, sorry.
Me: Ok, goodbye (hangs up)

Rude man tries calling twice, I ignore it.

Rude man texts: Can we start again?
Me texts: So that you can pretend to be someone with manners?

No reply, excellent result. Blacklisted.

Thanks goodness I have sky box live pause for the Come Dine With Me Sunday arvy marathon.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 29 November 2011, 12:48:22 am
Various texts today from this one...

I want one hour
I want wisit you 160 ok
Way not answer
Way not anser u name ruby i want wisit you
Call me
i want wisit you
Way u not anser big cow

And yes, this IS the punter that every BBW Escort in London knows only too well. You're bound to recognise his  immortal prose straight away because you probably have him on your TW list too!

R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NorthernIrishNatalie on 29 November 2011, 07:57:35 am
Quote from: Jem on 28 November 2011, 08:29:47 pm
Rude man: (barks down the phone): ARE YOU WORKING?
Me: Excuse me?
Rude man: (still barking) - ARE YOU WORKING?
Me: Well hello, thanks for your lovely introduction, it is such a pleasure to take a call from someone with such manners.
Rude man: Oh, sorry.
Me: Ok, goodbye (hangs up)

Rude man tries calling twice, I ignore it.

Rude man texts: Can we start again?
Me texts: So that you can pretend to be someone with manners?

No reply, excellent result. Blacklisted.

Thanks goodness I have sky box live pause for the Come Dine With Me Sunday arvy marathon.
Oh I absolutely hate this type of caller. I always wonder if they were ringing for a doctors appointment or phoning for quotes on a car repair would they be so abrupt. I'm still undecided what makes them so bloody ignorant.
 I get callers like this constantly.
       Phone rings so I pick up and say hello.
 Dickhead: "Busy?"
  Me: "Excuse me?"
 Dickhead tuts: "I said are ya busy?"
 Me: "Busy?"
 Dickhead tuts and sighs: "Are you busy at the minute?"
  Me: "Busy? Who are you and what do you want?"
 Dickhead: "Got your number on the computer"
 Me: "Computer? What computer?"
 Dickhead: "Mine"
 Me: "How'd my number get on your computer?"
 Dickhead: " Was on that site"
 Me: "Ahh ok so it was on the internet and what site in particular?"
 Dickhead quotes the site.
 Me: "Right so what do you want?"
 Dickhead: "A quick cheap fuck"
 Me: "Don't you all. I meant what do you want ringing me. If you wanted to place a booking with myself there is protocol to follow which is clearly outlined on the site in which you obtained my number."
 I proceeded to tell the git how annoying it is when someone rings and doesn't briefly introduce themselves and inform me of what they'd like and when and for how long.
 I'd just got so fed up of these crappy phone calls and even as I write this I am dreading checking my work phone as I know there's going to be so much more like it today.
 Ps: Another type are the guys who call and their opening line is "hey how are you?". Fair enough it's friendly enough but so bloody annoying. A simple "Hi I'm Alan I got your number from (whatever site) and am enquiring as to wether or not your free at 2pm tomorrow for an hour" is a much better way to make a call.
      Natalie Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 29 November 2011, 11:24:51 pm
Just on cam...such a charmer, and so literate too!

BLEH: wont my number sexy wana meet u 4 real
CatBBW: please message me if you want a booking
BLEH: whos talking bookings im talking meeting 4 drink and maby more ie relationship
CatBBW: My husband won't allow that
BLEH: he can join in

*kicked him out*

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miaken on 29 November 2011, 11:45:57 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 08 November 2011, 09:34:20 am
My phone, in about 20 minutes...
  • Potential caller - Hi Jodie. I recently saw your escort friend xyz.
    She suggested that I give you a call sometime. I've since checked out your site and AW profile.
    Your looks, services and fee all look great, so I'd like to make a booking.
    I'm interested in seeing you today for an hour. Either mid afternoon or after 7pm.

    Jodie - Are you totally insane to even suggest such a thing, today, 08/11/11?
    You do know what gets released today? Here's a clue >>>MW3 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=zuzaxlddWbk)<<<

Meanwhile,
Jodie's voicemail - I'm on the xbox right now; ...I may be some time...   ;D




Haha Jodie, your posts always make me HOWL with laughter.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jem on 30 November 2011, 10:36:10 am

 Oh I absolutely hate this type of caller. I always wonder if they were ringing for a doctors appointment or phoning for quotes on a car repair would they be so abrupt. I'm still undecided what makes them so bloody ignorant.
[/quote]

It just baffles me as well, it may be a 'service' they are purchasing, but it is a very intimate one, one would think that they might put just a tiny more effort in!

CatBBW: You are raking them in!  Biology expert - wow, astounded!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NorthernIrishNatalie on 30 November 2011, 10:58:42 am
Jem I've often wondered if it is shyness that makes them act as they do. That thought soon goes out the window though, Lol.
 Natalie Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 30 November 2011, 12:14:16 pm
I have found from my clients that it is  sometimes the parlour mentality that makes them speak like that on the first phone call.  With parlours they dont need to introduce themselves, they just ring and ask who is working and go from there.  I have found that many do not realise they are causing offence and actually being quite rude when they speak like this.  Some also have little or no social skills with women (hence the need to book an escort) so have no idea how to go about approaching us on the phone.  They just babble out whatever they are thinking, normally "are you working" or my pet hate "are you open".  It is a combination of nerves and lack of women in their life that make them behave this way and are normally lovely guys once you get past the nerves. 
If someone does approach me this way, I just explain I am not a parlour but an individual and if they would like to ring back and start the conversation again they are more than welcome to.  Many actually do ring back and apologise and end up being really nice clients
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 30 November 2011, 12:15:53 pm
Quote from: NorthernIrishNatalie on 29 November 2011, 07:57:35 am
Ps: Another type are the guys who call and their opening line is "hey how are you?". Fair enough it's friendly enough but so bloody annoying. A simple "Hi I'm Alan I got your number from (whatever site) and am enquiring as to wether or not your free at 2pm tomorrow for an hour" is a much better way to make a call.

Oh, those random chatty-sounding "Hi Emily! How are you?" calls are really common, aren't they? If they ask how I am I always reply with a big smile (so they can hear the friendly tone - it makes a difference!), "I'm great, thanks! How can I help?" which gets the conversation IMMEDIATELY back on track. Swift and effective. ;D

I know it's not really much difference in the grand scheme but yeah, I prefer the calls from perhaps slightly more experienced guys who know not to approach a new escort like she's your oldest friend but instead talk to her like she's a professional... because she is! Who would call a random new hairdresser they'd never spoken to before and just go, "Shirley! Hi! How are you?" That would be so odd. :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Taylor on 30 November 2011, 12:28:53 pm
Received this last night on AW, I am based in Southampton, gent has no feedback and i swear  i have had an email like this before, any other ladies had similar emails?

Hi,

I?m organising an event for a group of friends and work colleagues and would want you to (i) put on a girl-girl show to the guys for which you would receive an attendance fee; and then (ii) provide lapdances for which you would receive additional money:

Ilfracombe, 8th December, 9p.m. start? 2 girls needed.
Location: posh hotel
?175 attendance fee
plus LapDance revenue at ?20 per dance (which last yr the girls easily made c.?200-250 each from ie ?375 - 425 total)

Torquay, 9th December, 2p.m. start ? 6 girls needed.
Location: sea front bar / nightclub
?150 attendance fee
plus LapDance revenue at ?20 per dance (which last yr the girls easily made c.?200-250 each from ie ?350 - 400 total)

Each event about 50 guys all solicitors, surgeons, accountants, bank managers etc dressed in suits. This is not a rugby club drunken rowdy type event. You?re welcome to phone the venues in advance.

The attendance fee will cover your time getting there and putting on a series of shows with the other girls who are in attendance. These shows to start topless, progress to nude with toys, and finish with a girl-girl show. About 6 shows in total, each 5 to 10 minutes long but each individual girls is probably not involved in all the shows so you might only do say 3 or 4.

In between the shows will be the opportunity to earn substantial cash on top of the attendance fee. This will primarily come from lapdances at ?20 per 6 minute dance. In past years girls have pushed this up to ?40 and ?60/?70 per dance and done very well. Also the odd game e.g., tequila shots without hands off breasts at ?5 per go ? if we run this as a competition e.g., say who can do it fastest it easily makes ?100 which you and the other girls can keep.

Note: no escorting services required.

My objective is to (within reason) have you making lots of money - because that way you?ll be more interested and that will make it more enjoyable for the guys.

Please let me know,
With regards, Simon.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NorthernIrishNatalie on 30 November 2011, 12:59:00 pm
Quote from: Danielle_xx on 30 November 2011, 12:14:16 pm
I have found from my clients that it is  sometimes the parlour mentality that makes them speak like that on the first phone call.  With parlours they dont need to introduce themselves, they just ring and ask who is working and go from there.  I have found that many do not realise they are causing offence and actually being quite rude when they speak like this.  Some also have little or no social skills with women (hence the need to book an escort) so have no idea how to go about approaching us on the phone.  They just babble out whatever they are thinking, normally "are you working" or my pet hate "are you open".  It is a combination of nerves and lack of women in their life that make them behave this way and are normally lovely guys once you get past the nerves. 
If someone does approach me this way, I just explain I am not a parlour but an individual and if they would like to ring back and start the conversation again they are more than welcome to.  Many actually do ring back and apologise and end up being really nice clients
I totally agree that many of them do turn out to be lovely guys but I work in N.Ireland where we don't have any parlours. We are all independent with the exception of a few poor trafficked girls of course.
 OMG haha "are you open" I haven't heard this in a few months. Absolutely hate it! Lol.
 Natalie Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NorthernIrishNatalie on 30 November 2011, 01:13:18 pm

Who would call a random new hairdresser they'd never spoken to before and just go, "Shirley! Hi! How are you?" That would be so odd. :P
[/quote]

This made me laugh and is so true. It is a little off putting if you accidentally answer your work phone when caught off guard. One of these "friendly types" totally got me on a day off when I answered my work phone in a cafe thinking it was my normal one(they were both black iphones and I got confused). I was sat with my mum and my two friends and this guy really loudly and cheerfully and also sounding very like an old male friend of mine shouted "hello sexy how are ya?". I replied "awww babe I'm good ta and yourself?". Well he says "aye sound, are you working today?". I was at this point also doing a few hours here and there in a civvie job and had a shift that evening. "Not at the minute luv, I'm out having lunch with my mum and friends but I'm working tonight, why what's up?" I still hadn't caught on that it was a client. "Sure that's no good babe I really needed to see you today." I then proceeded to tell him where I was and he should hurry on down and catch us for desert. "Really? You wouldn't mind? Then me and you can go have a quickie i my car?." I laughed and then playfully scolded him with the name of my friend. "Huh? That's not my name. Don't you remember my name after all we only fucked 3 days ago.!" The colour drained from my face as I clicked on to who he was and it was obvious I was shitting it how to get out of this whole awkward scene. I couldn't just get up and hurry out as I had skinny jeans and heels on and the cafe was far to busy for me to fall flat on my face infront of, which inevitably would have happened as I was shaking and going redder by the second. My mum and friends were looking at me as if to say what the feck is going on. I quickly talked over the client and insisted I'd be right with him. I made my excuses, claiming my "friend" was having a major problem and I had to go straight to his. Most awkward day ever and exactly the reason why I HATE friendly callers now! Lol.
 Natalie Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 30 November 2011, 09:39:59 pm
Hehehe! Friendly clients always catch me offguard. It's just so unexpected sometimes!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NorthernIrishNatalie on 30 November 2011, 09:44:42 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 30 November 2011, 09:39:59 pm
Hehehe! Friendly clients always catch me offguard. It's just so unexpected sometimes!  ;D
Not in N.I it's the home of "friendly erm I really dunno what to say when ringing a girl" clients Lol.
   Natalie Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MISS RUBY on 01 December 2011, 11:29:57 am
Had this one message ..... would i agree to be booked as suprise for a client arranged by someone  else as a birthday treat! + he has problems with his girlfriend! involves lots of feet!!! the mind boggles.. to which i replied
Will only speak with clients booking themselves not on behalf of someone else!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MISS RUBY on 01 December 2011, 11:39:07 am
Just had a call...   male caller. 12.30 yes?!!!!!
                                      me.. who is this please?
                                      male caller  its me, can i come 12.30 yes>
                                      me,im booked i will call you back !
end calls and puts in block list !!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NorthernIrishNatalie on 01 December 2011, 11:50:48 am
Involves lots of feet?! Haha. This reminded me of a guy who tried booking me. He can't be called a time waster as he has on occasion turned up for his many bookings but this time he was definately a classA knob.
  "Hiya Natalie it's Mark are you available?"
"Yes hunni I am. When suits you to visit me? I'm in my usual place."I reply.
 "I'm actually outside, I was visiting Chris."
This is correct as his brother does live in the street next to my working location. "Oh ok no probs luv well do you want to come on in, I've actually had a cancelation so am ready annol."
 "Yeah I'll be in in 2 mins babe." He says, followed instantly by a text: Natalie are your feet dirty babe?
  "Luv they are, I have had my boots on all day and they are smelly and damp."I tell him as he has a major dirty foot fetish.
 Replies: Great sexy. 2 mins.
 I wait, 5 mins and he hasn't appeared. I text him asking where he is.
   I'm outside tryna decide wether or not you have the boots on and if your feet will be smelly or not. He texts back.
I assure him that they are and if he comes in and I'm not wearing the boots with smelly feet then he can leave.
 He takes a moment to consider this before asking me to send him a photo of my feet in the boots.
I tell him that no I won't send him a photo as it's ludicrous and also that my phone is a basic Nokia without a camera.
 He then texts me: Nah I don't believe you are wearing the boots so I'm going home just.
Well I told him that he was a total time waster and clearly just after a free wank and he should go home and hit his dick of the door.

 Surprisingly several months later he actually booked me. Me and 3 friends all with hot sticky feet from wearing trainers on a warm Summers day were stood on his face pushing our toes into his mouth while he wanked. Dirty bastard Lol.
 Natalie Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kitty_of_Herts on 02 December 2011, 09:38:04 am
I've had this one before, but he's made slight modifications to include a FICTIONAL character in one of my pieces of erotica, bless.

Quote
I am looking to visit you for a two hour in-call fantasy for a dominant
school girl session. I will confirm a booking on AW if you agree.

I am hoping to see you next week on Wednesday (7th December) at a time you
decide.

Love the following to become true with you please;

I want you to wear just a white buttoned blouse, NO bra, black stockings,
a short dark/black skirt, No knickers or thong, and shoes of your choice.

====================================================
As soon as I arrive, I would give you your money and you would led me to
the room. You would order me to remove my socks and shoes. After counting
this money, you would strip me naked and order onto my knees for you. You
would place my boxer shorts safe place for later.

You would start/cook the ready meal in the microwave. You would continue,
but once this is fully cooked, empty ready meal onto to a plate as to cool
down as not to burn me.

Next you would order me to bend over chair/bed/desk. Once there you would
spank my arse by hand ten times.

After which you would order me to stand up. Next you would untie my hands
at the front and tie my hands behind my back.

Then you would pull me around the place by my worthless cock as and where
you wish. You would stop occasionally ordering me to open my mouth, when
you would spit down my throat or over my face as you wished. I hate being
spat at. When done, you would French-Kiss me for as long as you wish. You
would lead me to the middle of the room for you, my arms at my side and
order me not to move.

You would put 2 clothes pegs on my foreskin of my cock and 2 pegs on the
shaft of my worthless cock. Next Amber would put one clothes peg on each
of my nipples.

You would open a patio door or windows curtains. The drag my body to the
window and press my naked body facing against door/wall/window. You would
press her pert body hard against me and count to at least ten slowly.
Whilst you whisper in my ear whilst she counts how silly I looked and all
your neighbours could se me. I would really hate this. You would pull me
away from the window/door/wall.

When I move away you would close gthe curtain agin. Then order me to stand
in the middle of the room for you both, my arms at my side and not move.
Next you would untie me and remove the clothes pegs.

You would remove her shoes and then stand in front of me and slowly remove
your black skirt and white blouse for me. Then I must stand again the
middle of the room, arms at my side and not move. When done you would
French-Kiss me. When done you, you would blindfold me as that I may not
see.

Next you would stand behind me, press your pert body against me, then
reach around my body and slap my worthless cock hard five times. After
which you would move slowly around to the front of my body, facing me.
Then press your pert body against me and give me a French-Kiss me for as
long as you wished. After which you would bite my bottom lip very hard
three times. Then slowly slide down my body and bite the shaft of my cock
very hard five times. After which you would slap my balls hard ten times,
before finally biting the head of my worthless cock three times.

Next you would put my boxer shorts back on. Order me to lie down in the
middle of the floor or tie me down as that I may not move. You would pour
the warm ready meal into my boxers. Then you would trample in your bare
feet over my boxer shorts crushing all the food. You may feed me or not as
you wish. But I MUST lick your feet clean of any food. Lastly you would
remove my boxers and leave on the floor for later. This is my evening
meal.

Next you would kneel stride my face and then you finger or use a dildo and
pleasure your sweet pussy for me to watch. Before you cum, you would lower
yourself and smoother my face. Ordering me to kiss or lick your sweet
honey as you would want. Make you cum if you wish. When done you would
stand up.

Next you would lie down naked and pour cold food/desserts over your naked
body, especially your pert breasts and belly. Next you would order me to
lick up all of this for her pleasure. When done, you would stand up.

Next you would order me to stand. Next you would stand behind me, press
your pert body against me, then reach around my body and slap my worthless
cock hard five times. After which you would move slowly around to the
front of my body, facing me. Then press your pert body against me and give
me a French-Kiss me for as long as you wished. After which you would bite
my bottom lip very hard three times. Then slowly slide down my body and
bite the shaft of my cock very hard five times. After which you would slap
my balls hard ten times, before finally biting the head of my worthless
cock three times.

You would kneel in front of me and masturbate my cock by hand, bringing me
close to Cumming twice, or as that I could take anymore. BUT NOT MAKE ME
CUM.

Then on your knees in front of my worthless cock, you would (masturbate)
make me cum into your pert mouth. You would catch all my cum in her mouth.
After which you would stand up and French-Kiss me and transfer all cum
into my mouth & ordering me to swallow all of it. I would show my mouth is
empty when done. After which you would spit down my throat.

Next you would dress. Once dressed selotape a choc bar to my cock and
order me stand and replace my boxer shorts and untie me.

Once I am dress and before I leave, you would French-Kiss me twice, whilst
doing so squeeze my cock and the chocolate bar hard. The order me to
leave.
====================================================


Please order me what hot ready-meal, cold desserts and chocolate bar to
buy for this session? What time on Wednesday 07/12? How much?

If it is possible I could change the above to include another slave girl,
if you have anyone who can join you, for any sexual content for you
pleasure.

(I have some selo-tape and six clothes pegs for this.)

I didn't read it as on my profile it quite obviously states that I'm not working right now and also, I reeeeally cba (he appears to have put more effort into this essay than I did with about 85% of my uni coursework), so if anyone else wants to sum it up for me be my guest  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miaken on 02 December 2011, 10:34:27 am
Basically he wants you to cook him dinner, slap him around a bit and send him home with a chocolate bar selotaped to his cock. (?!?!)

Seriously though, that sounds more like witchcraft than a sexual encounter. "bite my bottom lip very hard three times. Then slowly slide down my body and bite the shaft of my cock very hard five times. After which you would slap my balls hard ten times, before finally biting the head of my worthless cock three times." And then you shall go to the ball....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 02 December 2011, 05:28:39 pm
Quote from: Kitty_of_Herts on 02 December 2011, 09:38:04 am
I've had this one before, but he's made slight modifications to include a FICTIONAL character in one of my pieces of erotica, bless.

Quote
I am looking to visit you for a two hour in-call fantasy for a dominant
school girl session. I will confirm-----

I didn't read it as on my profile it quite obviously states that I'm not working right now,
so if anyone else wants to sum it up for me be my guest  ;)
Sure: Fantasist.
based on the length.  I didn't read it either (TLDR)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 02 December 2011, 06:00:20 pm
I just don't understand those emails. Complete fantastist! :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarita on 02 December 2011, 07:45:14 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 02 December 2011, 06:00:20 pm
I just don't understand those emails. Complete fantastist! :-X
Except they aren't always...

I've had bookings from men who've given me scripts (from which I was not to deviate). No matter how strange something seems, you can never really dismiss it out of hand..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 03 December 2011, 09:36:35 pm
Got this one recently.......


WELCOME TO FRESH MODELLING UK

?

DO YOU WANT TO BECOME A MODEL? We have work availble now and not enough girls to fill it. ?No experience needed must be confident, bubbly,out going and full of energy with a winning smile.

need glamour models, adult models asap ( if you don't want your face being shown in shoots we can do this)

check out our website

www.**********

or call

07** ********

work avalible with immediate start
?

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 04 December 2011, 08:15:18 pm
Hey i am after a beastiality show, i know it founds full on and shocking but money is nnegotiable and will pay well. am willing to tell you everything u need to know and all about it x


 :o

Though can I just say I find it random he didn't actually ask if I had any animals...

of course I wouldn't though!!!! He was in my freeview chat room going "hope it doesnt offend".

oh and of course another guy ith a fake female escort account  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 04 December 2011, 08:45:57 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 03 December 2011, 09:36:35 pm
Got this one recently.......


WELCOME TO FRESH MODELLING UK

?

DO YOU WANT TO BECOME A MODEL? We have work availble now and not enough girls to fill it. ?No experience needed must be confident, bubbly,out going and full of energy with a winning smile.

need glamour models, adult models asap ( if you don't want your face being shown in shoots we can do this)

check out our website

www.**********

or call

07** ********

work avalible with immediate start
?

 

I got this load of garble too  ;D

I had a look on their "website" - no examples/portfolios and awful spelling - how professional eh!

I have a feeling this is a scam to get women to send in their photos (to be judged to see if they can become a "model", according to the website) and then they will use them in private gallery scam fake profiles on AW.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 04 December 2011, 09:31:03 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 04 December 2011, 08:45:57 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 03 December 2011, 09:36:35 pm
Got this one recently.......


WELCOME TO FRESH MODELLING UK

?

DO YOU WANT TO BECOME A MODEL? We have work availble now and not enough girls to fill it. ?No experience needed must be confident, bubbly,out going and full of energy with a winning smile.

need glamour models, adult models asap ( if you don't want your face being shown in shoots we can do this)

check out our website

www.**********

or call

07** ********

work avalible with immediate start
?

 

I got this load of garble too  ;D

I had a look on their "website" - no examples/portfolios and awful spelling - how professional eh!

I have a feeling this is a scam to get women to send in their photos (to be judged to see if they can become a "model", according to the website) and then they will use them in private gallery scam fake profiles on AW.

Oh these guys are amazing! I have actually had a successful career as a model, so I love informing them of that fact and also how a 'professional' scout would never approach a girl in that fashion. Amateur fraudsters.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 05 December 2011, 01:24:38 am
I didn't get sent the email, and I'm easily inexperienced enough to be a scam target. No one ever steals my pictures either. I'm so insulted  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NorthernIrishNatalie on 05 December 2011, 01:54:22 am
 A few hours ago I had a phone call.
    Old Knob: Hello dear.
   Me: Hello.
     Old Knob: Don't be to hard on me.
   Me: Excuse me?
   Old Knob: Don't be to hard on me dear sure you'll not?
   Me: Sorry but who are you and what are you talking about?
  Old Knob: How much do you charge and please don't be to hard on me?
    I quote my prices and he almost screams.
  Old Knob: Aww now you're very dear.
     Me: I charge what every other local girl of my age and looks does and if it you don't like it you can book a girl who is within your price range.
   Old Knob: Aww I really wanna see you though can ya not do it for ?40 for the half hour.
      A whole ?60 cheaper. I put the phone down and have since had a voicemail from him saying he hopes I have no hard feelings towards him and he wishes me the best of luck! Lol.
 Natalie Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miaken on 05 December 2011, 06:45:47 pm
Quote from: Friday on 04 December 2011, 08:15:18 pm
Hey i am after a beastiality show, i know it founds full on and shocking but money is nnegotiable and will pay well. am willing to tell you everything u need to know and all about it x


 :o

Though can I just say I find it random he didn't actually ask if I had any animals...

of course I wouldn't though!!!! He was in my freeview chat room going "hope it doesnt offend".

oh and of course another guy ith a fake female escort account  ::)

Isn't that illegal now, anyway?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 05 December 2011, 07:08:27 pm
Quote from: Miaken on 05 December 2011, 06:45:47 pm
Quote from: Friday on 04 December 2011, 08:15:18 pm
Hey i am after a beastiality show, i know it founds full on and shocking but money is nnegotiable and will pay well. am willing to tell you everything u need to know and all about it x


 :o

Though can I just say I find it random he didn't actually ask if I had any animals...

of course I wouldn't though!!!! He was in my freeview chat room going "hope it doesnt offend".

oh and of course another guy ith a fake female escort account  ::)

Isn't that illegal now, anyway?

Yes it is. Still doesn't stop them asking. I've had people on cam asking for it, also I've worked out that "taboo" also means animal molesting - although I'm sure it's not just restricted to that (but can't imagine what else is classed as  "taboo" when ladies offer it on their profile :-\ )
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 05 December 2011, 10:11:29 pm
I've a friend who specifically offers "Taboo"
I asked her what that was and she looked vague
shrugged her shoulders and said
"Whatever is in their mind at the time they ring"
She then said mostly it was foot fetish, mild domming or subbing
or them wanting her to pretend she is their mum.

I couldn't do that as Id keep thinking of this scene from Dr Who
and cracking up laughing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGykDjYfs4E (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGykDjYfs4E)
 :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 09 December 2011, 05:20:58 pm
Got this earlier in the week.........sooo tempting!

HI McBIGD69 or DAVID love to make my xmas dreams true with U xxx 07*********
******@HOTMAIL.co.uk
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 09 December 2011, 05:22:23 pm
And this.......


Good evening.

I have never done this type of thing before. In fact, as I am embarrassed to say, tomorrow I turn 22 and am still a virgin. I am looking for an experienced and caring woman to guide me through a memorable first time. After reading your feedback, I am sure that I would like to meet you.

On friday evening, could I have the pleasure of your company for two hours? I have placed a booking on the website for 7pm, but that seemed impersonal. I would at least like to e-mail you before hand to chat. Also, I need to ask, can we meet at yours?

I am very excited to meet you.
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 09 December 2011, 06:37:56 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 09 December 2011, 05:22:23 pm
And this.......


Good evening.

I have never done this type of thing before. In fact, as I am embarrassed to say, tomorrow I turn 22 and am still a virgin. I am looking for an experienced and caring woman to guide me through a memorable first time. After reading your feedback, I am sure that I would like to meet you.

On friday evening, could I have the pleasure of your company for two hours? I have placed a booking on the website for 7pm, but that seemed impersonal. I would at least like to e-mail you before hand to chat. Also, I need to ask, can we meet at yours?

I am very excited to meet you.
 

That sounds like a pretty normal email? I mean, I don't see virgin clients if I can help it (due to the horrible awkwardness of it all - plus, I think there's no harm doing the normal dating thing for a while longer to see if you meet someone who wants to have sex with you for real!) but I would just reply explaining politely etc; I wouldn't consider him the worst of timewasters even though I'm sure many "virgins" are fantasists (or are really virgins and therefore way too scared to actually show up for their booking!). No time lost if you just say no nicely?

...Or do you mean that it might be a cut+paste job? Cos that's very possible, yes! :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 09 December 2011, 07:04:35 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 09 December 2011, 05:20:58 pm
Got this earlier in the week.........sooo tempting!

HI McBIGD69 or DAVID love to make my xmas dreams true with U xxx 07*********
******@HOTMAIL.co.uk

I got the same message on the 5th, and then two more messages from him on the 7th an hour apart.  the first message was exactly the same, the other two slightly different but all mentioned making his "xmas dreams cum true with U"

Talk about persistent.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 09 December 2011, 07:27:02 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 09 December 2011, 05:20:58 pm
Got this earlier in the week.........sooo tempting!

HI McBIGD69 or DAVID love to make my xmas dreams true with U xxx 07*********
******@HOTMAIL.co.uk

He can rhyme!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 09 December 2011, 07:29:53 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 09 December 2011, 06:37:56 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 09 December 2011, 05:22:23 pm
And this.......


Good evening.

I have never done this type of thing before. In fact, as I am embarrassed to say, tomorrow I turn 22 and am still a virgin. I am looking for an experienced and caring woman to guide me through a memorable first time. After reading your feedback, I am sure that I would like to meet you.

On friday evening, could I have the pleasure of your company for two hours? I have placed a booking on the website for 7pm, but that seemed impersonal. I would at least like to e-mail you before hand to chat. Also, I need to ask, can we meet at yours?

I am very excited to meet you.
 

That sounds like a pretty normal email? I mean, I don't see virgin clients if I can help it (due to the horrible awkwardness of it all - plus, I think there's no harm doing the normal dating thing for a while longer to see if you meet someone who wants to have sex with you for real!) but I would just reply explaining politely etc; I wouldn't consider him the worst of timewasters even though I'm sure many "virgins" are fantasists (or are really virgins and therefore way too scared to actually show up for their booking!). No time lost if you just say no nicely?

...Or do you mean that it might be a cut+paste job? Cos that's very possible, yes! :P

I must admit I was in two minds about this one.  He did make a booking on the site, but didn't follow up by phoning when we arranged a time to do this - I was going to guage it on the phone call as to whether I would see him.  Must admit I was veering towards a no just as you say because of the awkwardness etc; since he didn't phone, no great loss!

On the other hand it does seem rather 'cut and paste' too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 09 December 2011, 07:35:21 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 09 December 2011, 07:27:02 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 09 December 2011, 05:20:58 pm
Got this earlier in the week.........sooo tempting!

HI McBIGD69 or DAVID love to make my xmas dreams true with U xxx 07*********
******@HOTMAIL.co.uk

He can rhyme!  ;D

Yes thats gonna win all the ladies over for sure!!

I've had a whole heap of similar emails - do they think we hand over freebies as Xmas presents or something?!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 09 December 2011, 07:36:59 pm
Quote from: Holly G on 09 December 2011, 07:04:35 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 09 December 2011, 05:20:58 pm
Got this earlier in the week.........sooo tempting!

HI McBIGD69 or DAVID love to make my xmas dreams true with U xxx 07*********
******@HOTMAIL.co.uk

I got the same message on the 5th, and then two more messages from him on the 7th an hour apart.  the first message was exactly the same, the other two slightly different but all mentioned making his "xmas dreams cum true with U"

Talk about persistent.


When he runs out of ladies in Scotland do you think he'll try and win over the English girls?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Taylor on 11 December 2011, 02:15:18 pm
Just received this message on adultwork how delightful!

Hi,

I'm 35 and am now living on the South French coast between Nice and Monaco.

I am looking for a kinky girl who does bareback, like dressing provocatively and is available for few days for a nice stay in the sun here.

Are you available to fly here this evening for 2 days?

I'll pay your flights, your stay (obviously) and ?500.

Thoughts?

xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 11 December 2011, 06:24:40 pm
Quote from: Taylor on 11 December 2011, 02:15:18 pm
Just received this message on adultwork how delightful!

Hi,

I'm 35 and am now living on the South French coast between Nice and Monaco.

I am looking for a kinky girl who does bareback, like dressing provocatively and is available for few days for a nice stay in the sun here.

Are you available to fly here this evening for 2 days?

I'll pay your flights, your stay (obviously) and ?500.

Thoughts?

xxx

LOL - my reply would be: "?500??? Did you only want to see me for 3 hours?? (PS: if you want bareback, that will be ?8million, to be paid in advance.)"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 11 December 2011, 09:17:07 pm
email received after logging on to aw after lovely family weekend - "hey bb i would love to book you after new year could you mail me a bit more on what outfits or things you wear for meating ?"

Oh how I miss/look forward to TW clogging up my inbox with such shite  ;D


According to his profile he has been a member since early 2010 but no feedback. What a surprise!


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Taylor on 13 December 2011, 12:40:47 am
Hi Lexy, seen you profile and wow, you look stunning. Im looking for some company this Thursday, 15th December, to visit me in my country retreat near Andover. Booking would be for 2 hours but may want longer, if we are having a good time wink wink. Idearly I am looking for a young, fit, very naughty girl, plenty of kissing and cuddling, oral both ways and cim/swallow. Would prefer everything unprotected, I hate condoms but I dont have to cum inside you and would love to try anal. Also would love for you to wear some cuffs for some of the time and a bit of light spanking......oh I am hard a the thought.....are you wet with temptation. I can pick you up from anywhere and take you back afterwards if that helps, I have a nice car. Anyway, a little about myself, Im 43, married, company director, very clean hence the bareback request. I average size, not fat by any means and reasonably well endowed. I do smoke and would prefer a smoker for the odd one outside with a bit of fumbling hehe. If your interested in such a booking please let me know availability, any restrictions and price etc. A phone number would be good so I can finalise on Thursday. Hope to hear form you Nick xxxx

BARF... :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 13 December 2011, 02:00:28 am
my favorite bit from your email -

"oh I am hard a the thought.....are you wet with temptation"

for some reason that literally made me sick a little  :-X (shudders!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 13 December 2011, 05:11:02 am
Quote from: LouLou37 on 13 December 2011, 02:00:28 am
my favorite bit from your email -

"oh I am hard a the thought.....are you wet with temptation"

for some reason that literally made me sick a little  :-X (shudders!)

Ditto LouLou. Urgh the whole message made me shudder. YUCK
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Taylor on 13 December 2011, 08:18:06 am
i sent him a furious reply! guys like that make me feel so sick and i want to punch him in the head!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 14 December 2011, 12:26:47 pm
I'm going away for a few days to sort my head out and decide if I want to continue doing this, and this text today may have just made up my mind!!

Hi baby i'm turkish man i want suck u i game my dick now my cock 20cm very sweet u want meet me now i am home alone if you want see me msn cam?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miaken on 14 December 2011, 12:52:36 pm
"Want me 2 turn you inside out for an hr? ?60?"

Then after informing him my rates are f0r my time and ?60 would get him 30 minutes (not that I was even considering it, mind!):

"Best shag you'll have this year, you should be paying me ;)."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 14 December 2011, 03:35:08 pm
Christ, are people really that disgusting?  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 14 December 2011, 07:39:22 pm
Quote from: LondonEvie on 02 September 2009, 03:24:55 pm
Hahaha! Here we go:


-----------------------------------
I'm potentially interested in an overnighter with your lovely self tomorrow evening. It would be in central london in a top hotel, the swankier the better! :)

The night would involve drinks out in London followed by some cheeky fun back at the hotel. I feel like treating myself for my birthday - so you can expect a top evening :)

Just wondering what the best rate you could do for an eve like this? I was looking for someone around the ?400 mark, I know that could well be a stretch! I'm not a timewaster etc. I've paid ?400 for the past overnighters I've had, hence me quoting that figure.

Also, do you have any clearer pics you could send me?  Also, just double checking, are you an English lass?[/b]
------------------


Wow... Hear that? I can expect less than half my rate and a top evening all at the same time! You are all SO super jealous of me:)


I got that email only I was only offered ?300!   >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 14 December 2011, 07:46:43 pm
This was another lovely one (which I ignored)

  i know i am being cheeky but i am looking for a 2 hour outcall for ?100 - no sex- just to join me clubbing in london tonite or sat - u can choose the nightclub if u prefer.

This one which I ignored as I didn't understand...

Hi, am intrigued by profile, you seem interesting but obviously this is a looks reliant line of work, anyway of discreetly circumventing the issue?

And this...

iam steve. 45yo english guy from london.
i have a profile with 3 pics of me, plus good feedback too.
have a look... and hope you like (pics)

would love to have a hour incall with you.

BUT...... your rates is to high for me!!

Bugger.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MISS RUBY on 14 December 2011, 09:29:38 pm
email of the evening...from aw male ...  Hi i saw you are working from 1pm on monday could i see you at 11am !!!
to which i replied , i do have clients who can comprehend simple information, you do seem not to be able to do this, please contact another escort who may be free at 11am! I have since blocked him  on aw!!! goes by the user name shorty 3   .....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 14 December 2011, 10:44:40 pm
Quote from: Miss Ruby on 14 December 2011, 09:29:38 pm
email of the evening...from aw male ...  Hi i saw you are working from 1pm on monday could i see you at 11am !!!
to which i replied , i do have clients who can comprehend simple information, you do seem not to be able to do this, please contact another escort who may be free at 11am! I have since blocked him  on aw!!! goes by the user name shorty 3   .....

Oooo he has sent me a message too! He doesn't make alot of sense, does he? I didn't bother replying...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miaken on 14 December 2011, 11:19:09 pm
Never fails to amaze me how many girls on here have had messages from the same people on there... I mean, considering how many girls there are ON there compared to on here, they must be sending them e-mails out!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 15 December 2011, 09:35:51 am
My phone rang at 2:46 am last night from an unknown number.  I blearily got out of bed to turn my phone on silent and completely forgot again until I checked my phone this morning.

There on my phone, was a msg from 2:47 am saying Hi. Would you be available now?  Thing is I only have amex...  Cheers 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 15 December 2011, 09:39:02 am
Quote from: EvaBeeva on 15 December 2011, 09:35:51 am
My phone rang at 2:46 am last night from an unknown number.  I blearily got out of bed to turn my phone on silent and completely forgot again until I checked my phone this morning.

There on my phone, was a msg from 2:47 am saying Hi. Would you be available now?  Thing is I only have amex...  Cheers 

Classic...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 15 December 2011, 02:40:03 pm
Where do they think we're gonna swipe it?  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 15 December 2011, 06:29:14 pm
05:45 today
Early bird: How  much for half an hour?
Groggy Whore: ?120
Early bird: Oh, that's too much.
Groggy Whore: shrugs, thinks: at this time of the morning good luck matie. Rolls over, goes back to sleep.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 15 December 2011, 09:07:08 pm
Amen sister!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverbird on 15 December 2011, 11:39:35 pm
I had a text yesterday from a regular, an ok fella who's always stuck to the rules before....
'I'm sooooo bored! Can I come round for a coffee and a chat?'...
 Ok! I'll just put the kettle on! Bring the family along too why dontcha??? :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 16 December 2011, 05:59:27 am
Quote from: River on 15 December 2011, 06:29:14 pm
05:45 today
Early bird: How  much for half an hour?
Groggy Whore: ?120
Early bird: Oh, that's too much.
Groggy Whore: shrugs, thinks: at this time of the morning good luck matie. Rolls over, goes back to sleep.
05:00 today
Early bird: How  much for half an hour?
Groggy Whore: ?200
Early bird: I rang last night, it was ?120
Groggy Whore: Okey
Early bird: That's too much, I was....
Groggy Whore: shrugs, hits BLOCKED LIST button...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 16 December 2011, 09:25:05 pm
Jodie!  You never fail to make me laugh.  Never have my phone on before 9:30 am... I absolutely hate mornings.  Should re-name myself Garfield.

Could be genuine but I've just had a message from someone saying that as a recent divorcee he's looking for a regular meet 2-3 hours and that I'll be paid by his mum!  Felt his requests were reasonable until he mentioned his mother.  Think it'll be one I won't reply to... then someone else can have that wonderfully awkward (or is it just me thinking that it wouldn't be a comfortable situation?) experience of taking money from a grown man's mum.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 16 December 2011, 09:35:36 pm
Quote from: Holly G on 16 December 2011, 09:25:05 pm
Jodie!  You never fail to make me laugh.  Never have my phone on before 9:30 am... I absolutely hate mornings.  Should re-name myself Garfield.

Could be genuine but I've just had a message from someone saying that as a recent divorcee he's looking for a regular meet 2-3 hours and that I'll be paid by his mum!  Felt his requests were reasonable until he mentioned his mother.  Think it'll be one I won't reply to... then someone else can have that wonderfully awkward (or is it just me thinking that it wouldn't be a comfortable situation?) experience of taking money from a grown man's mum.

Was this on AW, and does his ID begin with "king"?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 16 December 2011, 10:01:24 pm
He was from a local paper.
I left my phone on by mistake the first night.
Last night was on purpose as I had an 8am appointment and the client was coming
an hour and a half away. - I wanted a confirmation call when he left home.
That turned out to be a lovely appointment.
He'd previously ask for my sizes as he wanted to buy me some lingerie.  ::)
That usually makes me cringe. But with this client,
he brought me some rather lovely designer lingerie sets, all very tasteful
in pastel shades rather than reds and bright blues that men usually go for.
Very happy, but tired bunny.

Think I'll now go kill swarms of enemy troops trying to capture me in
Survival mode, MW3 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uw2YfXY783U)

Q. What do I think about during sex?
A. How I can survive past level 23; where attack dogs with explosives, Armoured troops and attack helicopters surround me.   ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 16 December 2011, 10:26:25 pm
Cat, it was on AW but his name didn't begin with "king".

Jodie, I keep forgetting you're a gamer!  Just got the xbox 360 up and running again after having to get a new TV (the old one didn't like the 360)...

Don't have MW3 yet (though it is sitting in a pile of wrapped presents and tempted to buy another copy and open that present lol) but have been ignoring my work phone a bit too much for the past 2 days now I'm back to playing COD4 - Oops! Freaking gutted I couldn't recover an old gamer tag though.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 17 December 2011, 12:01:36 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 16 December 2011, 09:35:36 pm
Quote from: Holly G on 16 December 2011, 09:25:05 pm
Jodie!  You never fail to make me laugh.  Never have my phone on before 9:30 am... I absolutely hate mornings.  Should re-name myself Garfield.

Could be genuine but I've just had a message from someone saying that as a recent divorcee he's looking for a regular meet 2-3 hours and that I'll be paid by his mum!  Felt his requests were reasonable until he mentioned his mother.  Think it'll be one I won't reply to... then someone else can have that wonderfully awkward (or is it just me thinking that it wouldn't be a comfortable situation?) experience of taking money from a grown man's mum.

Was this on AW, and does his ID begin with "king"?


OMG-- "king--" took me into group and then sent me a TEXT saying he couldn't take me private because his mum was WASHING him whilst he watched me... urgh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 17 December 2011, 12:16:37 am
Quote from: Your Tera on 17 December 2011, 12:01:36 am

OMG-- "king--" took me into group and then sent me a TEXT saying he couldn't take me private because his mum was WASHING him whilst he watched me... urgh.


THAT'S THE ONE! He SAYS he disabled and his mum does everything, then you get emails after from "mum" thanking you and saying that she'll make sure he's in bed next time so she can play...

I think it's a fantasist, but whatever, it's one that I will NEVER meet....

(he says he's in Belfast)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 17 December 2011, 12:19:26 am
Ah!  A fetish I never thought of before... having their mother's heavily involved in their sex-lives.  

I can see how it can be difficult for disabled people to lead lives where they don't have to depend heavily on relatives etc...

But all I'm thinking is that I'm probably going to end up with a request to use a strap-on with some guys mother while he watches.

I've not been on cam for a little while, even though I've bought myself a nice new HD webcam and need to try it out, but this conversation's putting me off it lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 17 December 2011, 12:26:24 am
Quote from: Holly G on 17 December 2011, 12:19:26 am
Ah!  A fetish I never thought of before... having their mother's heavily involved in their sex-lives.  

I can see how it can be difficult for disabled people to lead lives where they don't have to depend heavily on relatives etc...

But all I'm thinking is that I'm probably going to end up with a request to use a strap-on with some guys mother while he watches.

I've not been on cam for a little while, even though I've bought myself a nice new HD webcam and need to try it out, but this conversation's putting me off it lol

Can I draw everybody's attention to our new camming board here (http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?board=24.0) in the AW section? I've moved across what I can for now, and a proper Sticky will be written for it asap but in the meantime can we now please stop cluttering other threads and sections with webcam stuff which doesn't have anything to do with escorting?

The posts (or what I could find for the time being) from this thread which pertain to webcam prats rather than escort ones have been moved to create a new thread here (http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=7413.0).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 17 December 2011, 12:28:18 am
Sorry Amy,

Was just an after thought I stuck in there that went on from the conversation that related to potential clients mentioning their mothers.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 17 December 2011, 12:31:49 am
Quote from: amy on 17 December 2011, 12:26:24 am
Quote from: Holly G on 17 December 2011, 12:19:26 am
Ah!  A fetish I never thought of before... having their mother's heavily involved in their sex-lives.  

I can see how it can be difficult for disabled people to lead lives where they don't have to depend heavily on relatives etc...

But all I'm thinking is that I'm probably going to end up with a request to use a strap-on with some guys mother while he watches.

I've not been on cam for a little while, even though I've bought myself a nice new HD webcam and need to try it out, but this conversation's putting me off it lol

Can I draw everybody's attention to our new camming board here (http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?board=24.0) in the AW section? I've moved across what I can for now, and a proper Sticky will be written for it asap but in the meantime can we now please stop cluttering other threads and sections with webcam stuff which doesn't have anything to do with escorting?

The posts (or what I could find for the time being) from this thread which pertain to webcam prats rather than escort ones have been moved to create a new thread here (http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=7413.0).

OK - is there a thread for "How not to chat up a webcam host"? If not, I want to start one ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 17 December 2011, 01:48:56 am
Quote from: Holly G on 16 December 2011, 10:26:25 pm
River, I keep forgetting you're a gamer!  Just got the xbox 360 up and running again after having to get a new TV (the old one didn't like the 360)...
Don't have MW3 yet (though it is sitting in a pile of wrapped presents and tempted to buy another copy and open that present lol) but have been ignoring my work phone a bit too much for the past 2 days now I'm back to playing COD4 - Oops! Freaking gutted I couldn't recover an old gamer tag though.
MW3 is brill; I hope you like it.
COD4 is brill, too. That was the game that brought me back into gaming
{as opposed to on the Game :)}
I loved the Overgrown, Backlot and Creek maps in multiplayer,
esp in creek, getting on top of the roof with a sniper rifle...brill!
I sucked at Wetwork, on the container ship.
I just don't have the reactions...
I play on-line with friends in the evenings.
My mike keeps cutting off, intermittently.
They keep telling me to buy a new one....
When I'm actually pulling the plug out to take a work call!

Oh what lives we lead! :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 17 December 2011, 01:04:19 pm
"I'm Jamie and i have a reputation around Adult Work for being the guy who makes your phone ring.

I'm doing a great offer this month....

?99 you will get a DISC with the following content:

up to 500 Photos

up to 5 Edited Videos

1 x Intro Sexy Intro Video with Music

1 x Word Document with your profile written and it will be written using Adult Works BBcoding for Heading, Bold Letters ect.


If required a new profile set up with all your photos/videos uploaded and i do this too.

How this works, we meet for 3-4 Hours maybe less and then it takes a full day to edit and upload.. ALL FOR ?99.

I'm Available next week!!! So come on and book me and get your adult work career off to a great start in the new year with a fantastic new look to your profile !

Merry Christmas

Jamie"

I particularly liked the first line! x 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 17 December 2011, 01:22:09 pm
What an idiot :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 18 December 2011, 10:28:32 pm
I just had a very interesting one. A well-spoken man called and asked if he could buy my used condoms  :-\ I don't know if this is normal, but I'll admit to being intrigued. I said tht he was welcome to book an appointment and take the condom home with him afterwards, but he didn't seem keen. He wanted them used by other men, and suggested I dig through my bins and get them all out  :o Very odd...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 18 December 2011, 10:47:15 pm
.. but not unique.

The downside to saying yes is that if it gets out, you may find clients who don't want their semen used for someone's fetish avoiding you.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 18 December 2011, 10:58:27 pm
Exactly. I don't think I'll be indulging in his fantasy...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 18 December 2011, 11:29:47 pm
Quote from: xw5 on 18 December 2011, 10:47:15 pm
.. but not unique.

The downside to saying yes is that if it gets out, you may find clients who don't want their semen used for someone's fetish avoiding you.

Ew...  Actually thanks to you lot I had a look on Punternet recently, and couldn't miss the thread about taking away your own condom ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 18 December 2011, 11:31:39 pm
It is just so...bizarre... :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 19 December 2011, 04:45:53 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 17 December 2011, 12:16:37 am
he SAYS he disabled and his mum does everything, then you get emails after from "mum" thanking you and saying that she'll make sure he's in bed next time so she can play...

Jesus, GFE is one thing, but mother-in-law experience.......not a service I plan to be offering/accepting any time soon  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JennyJazz87 on 19 December 2011, 10:12:17 am
Quote from: MissThang on 19 December 2011, 04:45:53 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 17 December 2011, 12:16:37 am
he SAYS he disabled and his mum does everything, then you get emails after from "mum" thanking you and saying that she'll make sure he's in bed next time so she can play...

Jesus, GFE is one thing, but mother-in-law experience.......not a service I plan to be offering/accepting any time soon  ;D

ROFL now that is bizarre
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 19 December 2011, 11:30:15 am
having a day of extremely long fantasy role play emails.....how do they manage to write so much while typing with one hand??

latest just left me going 'euw....like...EUW!' very long description of how I impersonate his mother, various costume changes, blather, blather, different bits of dialogue I might use and then at the end he writes: 'and then I get to lick your breasts and FACE'  :-X :( .....and I say again 'EUW' *shudder*

his final question was...'are there any pictures of you dressed as a school girl on the internet anywhere.'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 19 December 2011, 12:37:49 pm
Aw, Jane... that really is Euw!! 

I've got the alarm bells ringing.  Potential punter on AW last night seemed legit enough, explained to him that I wouldn't be available for either incall or outcall until later today due to other commitments but give him my number, primarily so I could get his number and do a pre-agreement of any kind security check with it.  Logged in this morning to find 4 messages on AW none of which made any sense and, one just said "which is ur fav"... erm, fav what??

Today, at work, phone is left on by accident.  Oops, he's calling and texting even though I had said that I wasn't contactable until at least 2pm.  Well I'm home early and I don't think I'm going to bother responding to him at all now. 

Maybe not how to book an escort but certainly not how to respect a person if you've been told something which you repeatedly ignore. Argh!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 19 December 2011, 02:06:35 pm
He sounds like a moron  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 19 December 2011, 02:26:24 pm
There are so many out there!  I wish it didn't take so much effort to ignore them  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 19 December 2011, 07:21:02 pm
Quote from: Holly G on 19 December 2011, 12:37:49 pm
Maybe not how to book an escort but certainly not how to respect a person if you've been told something which you repeatedly ignore. Argh!

I totally agree that he sounds dreadful. Someone ignoring simple instructions is actually the first and most vital step of my vetting & booking process - it's amazing how many guys think you telling them, "Call me at x time if you'd like to book" means "Send me a whole bunch of stupid texts/emails and generally act like a total lunatic".

Luckily, it means they might as well have a glowing neon sign on their forehead that reads, "DON'T TAKE A BOOKING FROM ME BECAUSE I AM A TOSSPOT", so it saves me much hassle in the long run. :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 19 December 2011, 07:42:59 pm
You know what I get a lot?  Guys who keep ringing but don't make bookings.  Like I mean they ring and ring and ring, but every time I try to tie them down to a booking they come up with something ridiculous.  Eventually I stop answering their calls.  Unfortunately this time he's started calling on an unknown number and a lot!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 19 December 2011, 07:50:16 pm
Quote from: EvaBeeva on 19 December 2011, 07:42:59 pm
You know what I get a lot?  Guys who keep ringing but don't make bookings.  Like I mean they ring and ring and ring, but every time I try to tie them down to a booking they come up with something ridiculous.  Eventually I stop answering their calls.  Unfortunately this time he's started calling on an unknown number and a lot!

I never answer unknown numbers; couple of times I've answered guys ringing on withheld by accident and they are always totally amazed I won't take a booking from them   ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 19 December 2011, 08:01:50 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 19 December 2011, 07:50:16 pm
I never answer unknown numbers; couple of times I've answered guys ringing on withheld by accident and they are always totally amazed I won't take a booking from them   ::)

I've spoken to a guy 3/4 times and since then got a load of Unknown number calls.  I finally answered one today (in frustration) and it was him!  He's young and wants to have sex in an empty office building  ???  Er, no!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 20 December 2011, 12:52:03 pm
Quote from: Daisy.3 on 20 December 2011, 12:22:24 pm

I think maybe giving a client some further options is a good way to navigate a roleplay that you feel uncomfortable with.

Perhaps only offering the roleplays found on the website below would help  ;)

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/depressingly-realistic-sexual-role-play-scenarios (http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/depressingly-realistic-sexual-role-play-scenarios)

This has given me a few ideas (very true they are depressingly realistic!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MISS RUBY on 20 December 2011, 01:01:17 pm
Today i get a call from a man wanting a six hour booking, to take me for coffee and lunch then spend it at home , he would come quick  then i was to spend the remaining time getting him hard again  for the next time which accordiing to him would take some hours !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 20 December 2011, 01:25:22 pm
I had two stupid ones last night.

One guy called and asked if I'd offer services in exchange for marujuana  :o
And the other asked if I could supply him with Class A substances during our appointment - what the hell?

 ::) :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 20 December 2011, 02:23:08 pm
So being a prossie automatically makes you a drug dealer, nice! You should have ground him up a paracetamol and sold it him, at least you'd know he certainly wasn't on drugs during the booking :-)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 20 December 2011, 02:38:03 pm
Quote from: MissThang on 20 December 2011, 02:23:08 pm
So being a prossie automatically makes you a drug dealer, nice! You should have ground him up a paracetamol and sold it him, at least you'd know he certainly wasn't on drugs during the booking :-)

That is an absolutely awesome idea! I shall use that in the future 8)
But on a serious note, I get so fed up with clients like these. I have never touched drugs in my life, and I don't understand why people associate escorting with it. It drives me mad.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 20 December 2011, 02:48:06 pm
I know, I can only assume it's because of the stereotypical streetwalker image - specifically that they have a drug habit and are pimped out by some dodgy dealer, a la 'every Martina Cole book ever written'

It annoys me because personally I feel sorry for streetwalkers, they are generally victims of circumstance and society. However I don't feel sorry for me, I choose to do this over reasonably paid professional work.

Rant over, let the failed-escort-booking-mocking continue...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 20 December 2011, 03:31:35 pm
It is very true though, and sad. Clients can be very ignorant at times :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 20 December 2011, 04:54:35 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 20 December 2011, 01:25:22 pm

And the other asked if I could supply him with Class A substances during our appointment - what the hell?


I used to get that all the time.  I'm happy to take drugs with a client (well obviously not anymore or my husband would kill me) but that doesn't mean I carry them or even use them in my private life.  I think clients struggle to separate the 'job' from the 'girl'. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miaken on 20 December 2011, 07:17:34 pm
Anyone ever just get a client send you a picture of their cock and a question mark? =/
(I should have replied saying "I don't know, IS it?")

The "to" field had about 30 e-mails in it so it was undoubtedly just someone getting kicks.... or maybe mistaking us for sexual health workers, I dunno.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 20 December 2011, 09:27:54 pm
Quote from: Miaken on 20 December 2011, 07:17:34 pm
Anyone ever just get a client send you a picture of their cock and a question mark? =/
(I should have replied saying "I don't know, IS it?")

The "to" field had about 30 e-mails in it so it was undoubtedly just someone getting kicks.... or maybe mistaking us for sexual health workers, I dunno.


YES! It;s just so random too, and most of the time they're ugly cocks.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 20 December 2011, 09:35:40 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 20 December 2011, 09:27:54 pm
Quote from: Miaken on 20 December 2011, 07:17:34 pm
Anyone ever just get a client send you a picture of their cock and a question mark? =/
(I should have replied saying "I don't know, IS it?")

The "to" field had about 30 e-mails in it so it was undoubtedly just someone getting kicks.... or maybe mistaking us for sexual health workers, I dunno.


YES! It;s just so random too, and most of the time they're ugly cocks.

Is there such a thing as a pretty cock   ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 20 December 2011, 11:04:34 pm
I've never seen one  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 20 December 2011, 11:53:09 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 20 December 2011, 11:04:34 pm
I've never seen one  :-\

Lol LadyJ.  But bless em they are so proud of their willies!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 21 December 2011, 12:13:40 am
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 20 December 2011, 11:04:34 pm
I've never seen one  :-\

Really!?  Yes so most of them are just disgusting but I believe I have seen one or two that I would consider nice in my time...

It's vagina's I think look horrid!  lol... been told, "it's so pretty!" - mhm, I bet you say that to all the girls!  Actually, my last client just sat and gazed at it for 5 minutes, it was a rather awkward silence.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 21 December 2011, 12:16:22 am
Quote from: Holly G on 21 December 2011, 12:13:40 am
Really!?  Yes so most of them are just disgusting but I believe I have seen one or two that I would consider nice in my time...

It's vagina's I think look horrid!  lol... been told, "it's so pretty!" - mhm, I bet you say that to all the girls!  Actually, my last client just sat and gazed at it for 5 minutes, it was a rather awkward silence.

Oh I agree...I think mine looks like road kill...I hate it! How men like it I've no idea! LOL
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 21 December 2011, 07:23:46 am
Quote from: Coty on 21 December 2011, 12:16:22 am


Oh I agree...I think mine looks like road kill...I hate it! How men like it I've no idea! LOL

Aw, LOL, I don't think it does ;D


Ladies should learn to love their pussies, it is - afterall - the place that gives you lots of pleasure AND produces beautiful children! I don't think mine's one of the "pretty" ones, but she serves me well, and has a mind of her own... 8)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 21 December 2011, 04:03:44 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 21 December 2011, 07:23:46 am
Ladies should learn to love their pussies, it is - afterall - the place that gives you lots of pleasure AND produces beautiful children!

I totally agree!  I have seen a lot of pussy and I've never seen an ugly one.   I love mine, I think it's very pretty and my husband agrees (obviously or he wouldn't be allowed access to it)  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kitty_of_Herts on 21 December 2011, 08:05:01 pm
Quote from: EvaBeeva on 21 December 2011, 04:03:44 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 21 December 2011, 07:23:46 am
Ladies should learn to love their pussies, it is - afterall - the place that gives you lots of pleasure AND produces beautiful children!

I totally agree!  I have seen a lot of pussy and I've never seen an ugly one.   I love mine, I think it's very pretty and my husband agrees (obviously or he wouldn't be allowed access to it)  :D

Every pussy a is a beautiful and unique snowflake, and never forget that. Pussy power woo!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kimba on 21 December 2011, 10:29:06 pm
Random texter:  Hey Bbe, I am very interested in booking you for an overnight I suggest we meet up somewhere for a coffee to see if we are suited. Wat do u say?

Bored Escort  Foolishly Replies: Don't be ridiculous. Jog on ..

RT: Wat a nice way to treat your clients! ur vile.

( 10 minute interval pending any response..)

RT: Ok, how much for a 30 minute booking?  I wud luv 2 meet u! xx  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 21 December 2011, 11:04:40 pm
Quote from: Kitty_of_Herts on 21 December 2011, 08:05:01 pm
Quote from: EvaBeeva on 21 December 2011, 04:03:44 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 21 December 2011, 07:23:46 am
Ladies should learn to love their pussies, it is - afterall - the place that gives you lots of pleasure AND produces beautiful children!

I totally agree!  I have seen a lot of pussy and I've never seen an ugly one.   I love mine, I think it's very pretty and my husband agrees (obviously or he wouldn't be allowed access to it)  :D

Every pussy a is a beautiful and unique snowflake, and never forget that. Pussy power woo!

SNOWFLAKE! Love it, thats cheered me up no end after a rather somehow stressful booking with a regular (think we were both shattered).  Good news is to anyone who's interested, hopefully I'm finally back to work properly (touch wood)!
I am going to go and have a bath and admire my snowflake  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 21 December 2011, 11:41:59 pm
Oh dear just got this.......


Hi there. Keep coming back to ur pics adn profile. It al looks fantastic apart form 1 thing: no anal! Can you be persuaded to provided this service for a little extra? Would definitely be interested in meeting up if the answer is yes!  

NO no and ffing No, go and find someone who does do anal you stupid twat!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kimba on 21 December 2011, 11:59:53 pm
Oh, that may not bode well for me then - I have just added a ' no anal-play' ( except strap-on  ;D ) disclaimer to my website. I am sick to death of stray index fingers stabbing rudely at my bottom hole  :P when this has never been discussed or consented upon.
 I mean, I wouldn't mind so much, but they ALWAYS then proceed to swap to my er other hole  without so much as a cursory wipe on a baby wipe!
 Enough!!:-[
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 22 December 2011, 03:53:42 am
Quote from: Mellow on 21 December 2011, 11:41:59 pm
Oh dear just got this.......


Hi there. Keep coming back to ur pics adn profile. It al looks fantastic apart form 1 thing: no anal! Can you be persuaded to provided this service for a little extra? Would definitely be interested in meeting up if the answer is yes!  

NO no and ffing No, go and find someone who does do anal you stupid twat!



That made me laugh....needed that lol Thanks x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 22 December 2011, 09:18:39 am
Quote from: kimba on 21 December 2011, 11:59:53 pm
I am sick to death of stray index fingers stabbing rudely at my bottom hole  :P when this has never been discussed or consented upon.
 I mean, I wouldn't mind so much, but they ALWAYS then proceed to swap to my er other hole  without so much as a cursory wipe on a baby wipe!
 Enough!!:-[

I'm glad I'm not the only one this annoys the hell out of.  I'm like.......first please ask, second, use a different finger!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 22 December 2011, 01:20:19 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 21 December 2011, 11:41:59 pm

Hi there. Keep coming back to ur pics adn profile. It al looks fantastic apart form 1 thing: no anal! Can you be persuaded to provided this service for a little extra? Would definitely be interested in meeting up if the answer is yes!  


 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JennyJazz87 on 22 December 2011, 01:45:17 pm
Ok I recently got one where the title was: Lets boldly go...

And the message was:

Quote
where some men have been before.
Im a 53 year old professional male who is fit and health and generally considered to be pleasing on the eye. Im six feet tall, weigh just over fourteen stones and am of medium build. My hair is worn quite short (5 on top, and 2 at the sides) and is 'salt n peppered' (with increasing amounts of salt!).
I would describe my personality as being self assured and confident and I'm equally happy with my own company as well as being with people. I have a job that I really enjoy and lots of interest out of work. In terms of sex, I would describe myself as being extremely passionate, and I enjoy all aspect of very firm and hard fucking. I have a strong libido and enjoy sexual encounters that last and can be savoured.
So, if there is anything that you need to know then please ask me. After reading your profile Im sure that we would have a really satisfying sexual encounter together, and I would be really keen to meet with you. Are all of your enjoys included in your fee, or do some attract an extra fee?
Best wishes.
D. xx


As if I needed to know all that  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JennyJazz87 on 22 December 2011, 01:46:33 pm
And another one:

Quote
Hi,

Wow, you look incredible. Very, very sexy woman.

I would love to meet up, when are you next available for an in-call?

Me, I'm a 44 yr old guy, very, very high sex drive. Average sized cock, but an expert at giving oral (I promise you the best of your life). I'm a giver in the bedroom and get a huge kick out of making my partner orgasm.

Can't wait to hear from you.

Johnny x

Again I didn't need to know all that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 22 December 2011, 05:16:56 pm
I've had three clients call up today, asking if I had a female friend in the house who could join in. Ummm no, I don't keep other escorts around just in case ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 22 December 2011, 05:52:37 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 22 December 2011, 05:16:56 pm
I've had three clients call up today, asking if I had a female friend in the house who could join in. Ummm no, I don't keep other escorts around just in case ::)

What? What on earth do you keep in your kitchen cupboards, then?

;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 22 December 2011, 06:23:18 pm
Very heavily accented wouldbepunter : Do you do sex
Me: Sorry can you repeat that
Very heavily accented wouldbepunter : I see you on internet. Do you do sex
Me: can you please read my profile and call back if I'm suitable

(It then takes five minutes of my repeating this till he understand): but then

VHAwouldbepunterDo you do sex tonight

I hang up after once again requesting him to read my profile.  I then (funnily enough) ignore him when he tries to call back (felt too darn uneasy about the level of communication)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 22 December 2011, 07:28:18 pm
Quote from: EmilyJones on 22 December 2011, 05:52:37 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 22 December 2011, 05:16:56 pm
I've had three clients call up today, asking if I had a female friend in the house who could join in. Ummm no, I don't keep other escorts around just in case ::)

What? What on earth do you keep in your kitchen cupboards, then?

;D

Hahaha! It's unbelievable, isn't it? Does he think there's about 10 of us here, waiting on him? It's amazing how many men ask this  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MISS RUBY on 22 December 2011, 10:25:35 pm
ok ladies this one just called recently and asked  if i charged for sex, and did i have facial hair !
west london area  079329766**
have blocked and do contact me for number if required....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 22 December 2011, 11:36:10 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 22 December 2011, 07:29:22 pm
to.my.great.loss.

 ;D
Quote from: JennyJazz87 on 22 December 2011, 01:45:17 pm
Lets boldly go... In terms of sex, I would describe myself as being extremely passionate, and I enjoy all aspect of very firm and hard fucking. I have a strong libido and enjoy sexual encounters that last and can be savoured.

Quote from: JennyJazz87 on 22 December 2011, 01:46:33 pm
Average sized cock, but an expert at giving oral (I promise you the best of your life).

Woo hoo!  Lucky you :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NorthernIrishNatalie on 24 December 2011, 12:37:15 pm
Last night I was asked if I worked in a brothel. By a guy calling at 2.45am. The same guy queeried why I wasn't available at such a time and then asked if I had any other girls working at that time. I AM NOT A BROTHEL FFS!!!
 I was also repeatedly texted by a complete prat who ignored my requests for him to call to make an appointment. He asked the usual 400million questions by almost illegible texts and then had the sheer audacity to act indignant when I told him to fuck off. He had asked me to give him an outcall to Carrickfergus and then to North Belfast. These are total opposite directions and miles apart. They think we can't tell a time waster from a mile off.
 Natalie Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 25 December 2011, 09:00:47 am
I wake up to this gem this morning......

hi babe

id love to bareback you since i have been such a good boy all year

david x

What a treat, yeh of course David, I'll be right along!!

He then sent a follow up email entitled 'Well'.  Needless to say I didn't read it and blocked him!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 25 December 2011, 09:59:51 am
Quote from: Mellow on 25 December 2011, 09:00:47 am
I wake up to this gem this morning......

hi babe

id love to bareback you since i have been such a good boy all year

david x

What a treat, yeh of course David, I'll be right along!!

He then sent a follow up email entitled 'Well'.  Needless to say I didn't read it and blocked him!


But it's Christmas.!!! Surely you'll change your mind for David just this once? lmao
what a tw@
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 25 December 2011, 06:02:53 pm
Received at 4.15 this morning (and amazingly, not on Adultwork):

Numpty:

when are you available for an hour and how filthy are you
thanks


Me:

I'm not.
I'm not.
You're welcome.


Numpty:

sorry



Bless 'em  ::).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 28 December 2011, 01:23:27 pm
Had a guy today....brief chat on phone, get a BIG warning sign when:

Creepyguy: 'Will you be alone?'

Me: 'What do you mean thats an odd kind of question'

Creepierguy: 'I just meant are there other girls there'

Me : 'No'

Gets him off the phone asap and THINKS, defo not going to see this guy.  Waits to see if he confirms, he confirms late gives me the perfect excuse to say the appointment has gone.   He sends a pissy text back:

Creepierbytheminuteguy ' I thought we HAD AN ARRANGEMENT'

Stupidescortfortextingback 'Yes subject to confirmation'

CreepiestGuy: 'When are you available then'

Me: 'Not until tommorrow'

Creepiestguyinthewholeworld: 'Thats too late, can you recommend a friend'

What a cheeky lazy bugger!!!!!!

He also tried to get my full address immediately which of course I didn't give him, he then tried confirming initially 2 hours early to get the postcode out of me.  Funnily enough he got nothing!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 28 December 2011, 01:26:20 pm
Hahahahaahahahaha at "creepiestguyinthewholeworld"  ;D

Yes he does sound like creepiest! The makes your skin crawl type!

I got this today - (I'm sure many others did too!) -

Quote
Please do not take offence to this, I only say this as I care for you and God (Allah) cares about you, i apologize if this is werid

Im not forcing you to do anything, its your choice, i jus wanna see the better life for u

I ask of you to please stop escorting, I've realised from myself and others that it's not good, we shouldn't put ourselfs this low as humans because we are better than that, you can become better than this.

You may think that I can make easy money here no problem, I got a beautiful body, help with my studys or with my rent etc etc but its dangerous at the same time, health and security

God had made you to be the best in this world for the next....which is heaven. I promise you God loves you, he cares for you because he says in the Quran:

"And Indeed We have HONOURED the children of Adam, and We have carried them over land and sea, and we have provided them with lawful and pure things. And we have preferred them above many of those whom We have created with a marked preference". (The Quran, Chapter 17, Verse 70)

Your status is ranked high by Allah, see how mericful and kind God is to us?

You might have thought Oh My God, what have I got myself into? How will I provide for myself otherwise? God says again in the Quran:

"And if you fear poverty, then Allah will enrich you, if he wills, out of his bounty. Surely, Allah is All-Knowing, All Wise." (The Quran, Chapter 9, Verse 28)

like i said its ur choice what u do, i aint forcing u but if you wanted a way out then u hav these options:

1) stop escorting/massages...that way u dont harm yourself

2) stop escorting/massages...and turn to islam, u will hav a blessful and modest lifestyle which god will support u at all times, he will giv u money from sources we couldnt imagine

again i aplogize if i have made you angry, i aint forcing this on u...its ur choice...i jus wanna see the best for u thats it

take care
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 28 December 2011, 01:37:57 pm
But Lou How can you resist the URGE to turn your back on sex work and convert?! 
I'm sure there will be a long line of ladies ahead of you  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 28 December 2011, 01:44:46 pm
Christ, that's a bit strong.
*gags*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Oriana on 28 December 2011, 02:12:42 pm
*head desk*

I already have template answer for christian/bible nutters. Don't tell me I need another one for muslims? Right, and buddhist are next in the line...  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 28 December 2011, 03:59:44 pm
Hahaha - the first thing I thought to myself is - Well why are you on a paid sex site?  :-\ x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 28 December 2011, 04:01:38 pm
Ha ha ha :D

I got sent this recently (by a friend, not a client, lordie!)  http://www.followthissite.com/list-of-sins.php
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kimba on 28 December 2011, 07:27:11 pm
I had quite a few of the; " Hey, merry xmas Kim! Hope you're having a gud 'un babe?" texts over the weekend - some of them from numbers no longer stored in my phone ( been too long since they last booked..)

To these I replied; " Great thanks! Who is this btw? "
Most guys texted straight back with their name - one didn't, but continued to text me rambling smalltalk. I suspected a guy I have seen about 3 or 4 times who had become increasingly difficult and I had removed him from my phone contacts. I didn't reply and went out on a booking.

The next morning: Former Client: Do one
                                        Feisty 'Pro who is old enough to know better  ::): I havn't a clue who you are so I suggest you take your own advice. Silly Boy.
                                        FC: Go die while sucking cock u dirty little hoe

Sorry about the grisly ending on what is a light hearted thread, I'm just posting this as a warning to all of us who can't resist getting into combat with the cretins that waste our time daily.
It wouldn't have bothered me at all if it was a complete stranger ( I'm sure we all get those from time to time ), but I later called him witheld and sure enough I recognised his voice immediately as a former client.

I know it's only nasty words from an idiot, but it ruined my day as I wondered how pretty vile some guys can be, and - oh yes! - according to him - He was a 'Male Escort' over in Marbella for a time!  Pot and kettle spring to mind here ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 29 December 2011, 11:07:50 am
I had a fantastic one last night!  :D

A guy contacted me through AW, saying he was a top Hollywood casting agent, and would offer me a big role in his next major movie, if I saw him for free. LOL!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: scottishgirl001 on 29 December 2011, 11:17:15 am
Quote from: Mellow on 21 December 2011, 11:04:40 pm
Quote from: Kitty_of_Herts on 21 December 2011, 08:05:01 pm
Quote from: EvaBeeva on 21 December 2011, 04:03:44 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 21 December 2011, 07:23:46 am
Ladies should learn to love their pussies, it is - afterall - the place that gives you lots of pleasure AND produces beautiful children!

I totally agree!  I have seen a lot of pussy and I've never seen an ugly one.   I love mine, I think it's very pretty and my husband agrees (obviously or he wouldn't be allowed access to it)  :D


I can't see mine easily ... diet commences!
Every pussy a is a beautiful and unique snowflake, and never forget that. Pussy power woo!

SNOWFLAKE! Love it, thats cheered me up no end after a rather somehow stressful booking with a regular (think we were both shattered).  Good news is to anyone who's interested, hopefully I'm finally back to work properly (touch wood)!
I am going to go and have a bath and admire my snowflake  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 29 December 2011, 03:04:17 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 29 December 2011, 11:07:50 am
I had a fantastic one last night!  :D

A guy contacted me through AW, saying he was a top Hollywood casting agent, and would offer me a big role in his next major movie, if I saw him for free. LOL!

I hope you said yes! :D ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 29 December 2011, 11:50:55 pm
Hi

Do you wanna know my fantasy?

I adore elder women with experience!

I want you to be my mummy or teacher and show me how to fuck and how to
please a women?

Im looking to spend time with you to build my confidence and experience in
sex!

Take me by the hand to your room!

I want us to both be in bed, show me how to take your knickers and bra off
and show me to to suck your tits and play with them.

I want you to undo my belt and play with my cock and give me oral sex,
then I want us to have sex. Show me how to do doggy, missionery cow girl
and other positions making sure you teach me how to fuck your pussy really
good just the way you like it.

I want us to both have a great time in bed so by the end of the session i
have learn't somthing.

Looking forward to hearing from you

By the way, Your Fit!!!

Take care.


***I lost interest at the "Do you want to know my fantasy" and said out loud, 'No not really"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 30 December 2011, 03:48:38 am
I really must go to bed and not wind up silly timewasters when I'm bored!

AWbigcockpics:-   Hi babe...your pics are sexy.

Me: Thank you, do you want to make a booking?

AWbigcockpics: your welcome sexy. you like big young cock ??

Me: What I like is being self employed and earning money, Do you want to make a booking?

AWbigcockpics: take that as a yes lol you have lovely ass x

Me: Again, thank you, I agree, it's a lovely ass....so do you want to make a booking?

AWbigcockpics: is it and is 26 too young lol did you see pics of my cock on my profile
page ?? x

Me (starting to get bored now!): Yes I saw the pics.

AWbigcockpics: ha . did you like wat you saw . cant sleep too horny lol how come your up
so late x

Me: No hated the pics ... I'm a lesbian.

AWbigcockpics: oh rite . nite den
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 30 December 2011, 12:45:38 pm
Quote from: Coty on 30 December 2011, 03:48:38 am

Me: No hated the pics ... I'm a lesbian.

AWbigcockpics: oh rite . nite den

HA!! I just laughed out LOUD at this!!!!! ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 30 December 2011, 04:26:00 pm
Quote from: Coty on 30 December 2011, 03:48:38 am
I really must go to bed and not wind up silly timewasters when I'm bored!

AWbigcockpics:-   Hi babe...your pics are sexy.

Me: Thank you, do you want to make a booking?

AWbigcockpics: your welcome sexy. you like big young cock ??

Me: What I like is being self employed and earning money, Do you want to make a booking?

AWbigcockpics: take that as a yes lol you have lovely ass x

Me: Again, thank you, I agree, it's a lovely ass....so do you want to make a booking?

AWbigcockpics: is it and is 26 too young lol did you see pics of my cock on my profile
page ?? x

Me (starting to get bored now!): Yes I saw the pics.

AWbigcockpics: ha . did you like wat you saw . cant sleep too horny lol how come your up
so late x

Me: No hated the pics ... I'm a lesbian.

AWbigcockpics: oh rite . nite den

HAHAHAHA! Brilliant!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miaken on 31 December 2011, 12:05:15 am
No one got anything about a "special delivery" or "Santas sack" then? My faith in the human race may be slightly restored XD
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 31 December 2011, 02:59:34 am
Quote from: Miaken on 31 December 2011, 12:05:15 am
No one got anything about a "special delivery" or "Santas sack" then? My faith in the human race may be slightly restored XD

No I didn't....but shame on me I did sign off every message with Love from Ho ho ho :-) lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 31 December 2011, 11:46:26 am
Quote from: Coty on 31 December 2011, 02:59:34 am
but shame on me I did sign off every message with Love from Ho ho ho :-) lol

Lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 31 December 2011, 12:45:30 pm
"hows is 40 for a hours oral deepthroat sound babe ? can take your time n chat to :) its all a have today ? xxx"


 ;D

erm..... let me think about it...... how about NO! Oh really I can chat to you too? Oh wow! You sound riveting! How lucky am I!   :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 31 December 2011, 12:49:16 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 31 December 2011, 12:45:30 pm
"hows is 40 for a hours oral deepthroat sound babe ? can take your time n chat to :) its all a have today ? xxx"


 ;D

erm..... let me think about it...... how about NO! Oh really I can chat to you too? Oh wow! You sound riveting! How lucky am I!   :-X

Lucky lucky you, I'm soooooooo jealous!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 31 December 2011, 12:57:56 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 31 December 2011, 12:45:30 pm
"hows is 40 for a hours oral deepthroat sound babe ? can take your time n chat to :) its all a have today ? xxx"


 ;D

erm..... let me think about it...... how about NO! Oh really I can chat to you too? Oh wow! You sound riveting! How lucky am I!   :-X


Dear God!!! They really are unbelievable at times! You can chat too...lmao...what a Gent! XXX
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 31 December 2011, 01:18:04 pm
I know! He actually replied to my "erm..... let me think about it...... how about NO! Oh really I can chat to you too? Oh wow! You sound riveting!"

This -  "Haha and why may aye ask not ? I'll give your the same back I'm gd at massaging all areas of girls lol x"

Must remind self - Do.not.reply.to.timewasters.Just.delete! I'm going to write lines for my punishment to myself for replying to the twat!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 31 December 2011, 04:31:45 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 31 December 2011, 12:45:30 pm
"hows is 40 for a hours oral deepthroat sound babe ? can take your time n chat to :) its all a have today ? xxx"


 ;D

erm..... let me think about it...... how about NO! Oh really I can chat to you too? Oh wow! You sound riveting! How lucky am I!   :-X

How would you talk if it is an hour of deep throat oral.  Difficult to speak with your mouth full, lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 01 January 2012, 02:42:00 am
Quote from: pandora on 31 December 2011, 04:31:45 pm

How would you talk if it is an hour of deep throat oral.  Difficult to speak with your mouth full, lol.

Maybe he has a little willy lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 01 January 2012, 09:02:47 am
8 separate calls beween 3am and 7am this morning, new years day, plus a selection of texts.

"Hi I am Jack,  sorry for short notice, what can I get for 50quid, I am in walderslade".  Sent at 4.47am.  Let me rush to get up and do an outcall for that, not.

Glad the phone is on silent at night.

Yesterday was an all time high for TW's.  8 appointments, all no shows.  Can't say I was expecting any of them as they all had tell tale signs.

Happy new year! More of the same and this thread will get ever longer I predict.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JennyJazz87 on 01 January 2012, 11:48:55 am
A message I just got:

"If i came to visit you, could I pay you in coins?"

Coins? Wtf does he think I am a bank?
   I replied by telling him I only take notes. It's not hard to get notes or change coins to notes.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 01 January 2012, 12:48:22 pm
Quote from: JennyJazz87 on 01 January 2012, 11:48:55 am
A message I just got:

"If i came to visit you, could I pay you in coins?"

Coins? Wtf does he think I am a bank?
   I replied by telling him I only take notes. It's not hard to get notes or change coins to notes.



That reminded me of when my eldest son first got dragged to a lap dancing club by his mate...they were only 17...my son offered her change as it was all he had. She said..."I'm not a bloody phone box love" and danced off lmao
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 01 January 2012, 01:03:09 pm
Quote from: Coty on 01 January 2012, 12:48:22 pm
I'm not a bloody phone box love

Love that!

Jenny, you're so mean  ;D It's probably taken him ages to save up enough money in his penny jar for a visit, and then you say he has to use notes. Now he'll have to go to Asda to use the Coinstar machine, and it charges a % so he won't have enough...........
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 01 January 2012, 01:18:04 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 01 January 2012, 01:49:01 pm
What do you make of this one, girls?!  :-X


'Hello, I have your profile in my Hotlist, we have not met yet, ive breifly spoken to u on the phone about two months ago, i have been gazing through on Adult work recently and could not help notice your Green available today sign up on days when most people are with loved ones, family etc over the christmas/new year time, i dont know u, Hopefully we will meet at some point, i just hate to think that for what ever reason some people are left out, I hope that has not applied to u, & thats why I uv e had the green sig on your profile, I apologise if u think i am being nosy, that not my intention, i was concerned thats all.

Anyway Happy New Year, hope we meet soon.

Love & Kisses

Roger x'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 01 January 2012, 03:06:55 pm
^^^^ I'd say - presumptuous git with a 'prossie-Savior' complex! ^^^^^
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NorthernIrishNatalie on 01 January 2012, 08:48:37 pm
LouLou Lol. Agreed!
 Bloody cheek. What's he on adultwork for on Christmas day himself! Lol. Natalie Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 01 January 2012, 09:22:56 pm
I know! Cheeky bugger! I'm always online on AW anyway, because I sell content. Bloody moron. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JennyJazz87 on 02 January 2012, 12:32:10 am
Quote from: MissThang on 01 January 2012, 01:03:09 pm

Jenny, you're so mean  ;D It's probably taken him ages to save up enough money in his penny jar for a visit, and then you say he has to use notes. Now he'll have to go to Asda to use the Coinstar machine, and it charges a % so he won't have enough...........

Lol yeah poor guy.
   Seriously, a guy tried to pay me once before by pulling out a bag of coins.
It's a no no for me, because to me it's lazy and inconsiderate.

So I'm not replying to this guy  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JennyJazz87 on 02 January 2012, 12:38:40 am
Quote from: Coty on 01 January 2012, 12:48:22 pm
Quote from: JennyJazz87 on 01 January 2012, 11:48:55 am
A message I just got:

"If i came to visit you, could I pay you in coins?"

Coins? Wtf does he think I am a bank?
   I replied by telling him I only take notes. It's not hard to get notes or change coins to notes.

That reminded me of when my eldest son first got dragged to a lap dancing club by his mate...they were only 17...my son offered her change as it was all he had. She said..."I'm not a bloody phone box love" and danced off lmao
:D.

After all I doubt she had any pockets avaliable to fill with her coins.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 02 January 2012, 08:03:29 am
Quote from: JennyJazz87 on 01 January 2012, 11:48:55 am

"If i came to visit you, could I pay you in coins?"


The first thought that popped into my head:

Yes sure I'm a slot machine!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 02 January 2012, 08:13:00 am
Got this email today.....

<DELAY Flags="\x02" Time="100"/>

Err wtf is that code for?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 02 January 2012, 03:44:52 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 02 January 2012, 08:03:29 am
Quote from: JennyJazz87 on 01 January 2012, 11:48:55 am

"If i came to visit you, could I pay you in coins?"


The first thought that popped into my head:

Yes sure I'm a slot machine!

Who the hell pays in coins?! ??? :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Annalise on 02 January 2012, 05:12:30 pm
date:
2011-12-27

time:
12:04:55 UTC

Your name:
Mike

Your email address:
bongabongaparties@hotmail.co.uk

Telephone Number:
07738673983

Subject:
bonga bonga parties

Message:
Hi there

My name is Mike and I got your contact details of UK adult zone.
I arrange Bonga Bongo parties for rich and powerful men through out England and Europe Bonga Bonga parties as you may know are essentially  sex parties ?for very rich older guys who like to have sex with young attractive girls. The ones we arrange involve up to 10 guys  average age 45  to 52 and up to 6 models  each model is paid ?2500  each party and all expenses  (including flights if relevant. )are met.

The parties last up to 5 hours. The next one in Manchester at the Piccadilly Hotel on the 22nd January- 7pm until 12.00 pm. If this is something which you might be interested in then please consider the following two questions carefully;
1   Are you willing to provide a sexual service for both the guests and also play with the other female models?
2   Are you discreet these guys are all well known and you will there fore be required to sign a no kiss and tell contract.

Should you wish to be considered then please contact me for further details on Bonga Bonga Parties@yahoo.co.uk 

Isn't the correct term 'Bunga Bunga parties? I can't imagine anyone who organizes parties for 'rich and powerful men' would have that email address!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 02 January 2012, 06:32:19 pm
My first ridiculous email of 2012  ;D ;D



Subject: hey babe GOOD NEWS


Hey hun you good its jay.

I book accommodation for some of the AW escorts.

Anyway i dont deal with travelodge anymore.

I can book any UK HOTEL IBIS for ?15-?20 anywhere.

You dont pay a penny until you have checked in, once you check in you pay me. SIMPLE ITS ALL ABOVE BOARD AND LEGIT.

Let me know if your interested.

Mwah

Look forward to doing business with you xxx



Looking at his profile pics, he looks about 17...



.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 02 January 2012, 07:53:17 pm
God, there are some idiots out there... :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 02 January 2012, 08:41:29 pm
The only interesting one I got in the entire time I was sick and dying over the Xmas/NY break:

'I wanted to see [an independent I work with occasionally] but she gave me your number'

Thanks.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 03 January 2012, 03:03:03 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 02 January 2012, 08:13:00 am
Got this email today.....

<DELAY Flags="\x02" Time="100"/>

Err wtf is that code for?!

He was obviously a member of the Secret Service, attempting to recruit you as a 'honeytrap' spy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 03 January 2012, 03:17:23 pm
Quote from: natasha on 03 January 2012, 03:03:03 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 02 January 2012, 08:13:00 am
Got this email today.....

<DELAY Flags="\x02" Time="100"/>

Err wtf is that code for?!

He was obviously a member of the Secret Service, attempting to recruit you as a 'honeytrap' spy.

Lol Natasha, I will just dust up my Russian
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: scottishgirl001 on 03 January 2012, 03:49:45 pm
Quote

Lol Natasha, I will just dust up my Russian

Hey Mellow, time to go back to uni and do advanced Maths/Physics :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Oriana on 03 January 2012, 04:31:12 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 02 January 2012, 08:13:00 am
Got this email today.....

<DELAY Flags="\x02" Time="100"/>

Err wtf is that code for?!

This is macro code. Roughly there are two chances: someone send this bit of code by mistake or he was trying to infect your computer. Failed miserably at both. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 03 January 2012, 04:52:09 pm
Quote from: Oriana on 03 January 2012, 04:31:12 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 02 January 2012, 08:13:00 am
Got this email today.....

<DELAY Flags="\x02" Time="100"/>

Err wtf is that code for?!

This is macro code. Roughly there are two chances: someone send this bit of code by mistake or he was trying to infect your computer. Failed miserably at both. ;D

Really? Is it that easy to send a virus? I thought you would have to open an attachment to get an email virus? Clearly, i'm not computer literate...  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 03 January 2012, 06:19:45 pm
Quote from: Kiko on 03 January 2012, 04:52:09 pm
Quote from: Oriana on 03 January 2012, 04:31:12 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 02 January 2012, 08:13:00 am
Got this email today.....

<DELAY Flags="\x02" Time="100"/>

Err wtf is that code for?!

This is macro code. Roughly there are two chances: someone send this bit of code by mistake or he was trying to infect your computer. Failed miserably at both. ;D

Really? Is it that easy to send a virus? I thought you would have to open an attachment to get an email virus? Clearly, i'm not computer literate...  ???

Trying to infect my computer  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 03 January 2012, 06:23:05 pm
Quote from: scottishgirl001 on 03 January 2012, 03:49:45 pm
Quote

Lol Natasha, I will just dust up my Russian

Hey Mellow, time to go back to uni and do advanced Maths/Physics :)

Eek my two worst subjects at school; think my second career as a spy is over before it began  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Oriana on 03 January 2012, 06:24:06 pm
Quote from: Kiko on 03 January 2012, 04:52:09 pm
Quote from: Oriana on 03 January 2012, 04:31:12 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 02 January 2012, 08:13:00 am
Got this email today.....

<DELAY Flags="\x02" Time="100"/>

Err wtf is that code for?!

This is macro code. Roughly there are two chances: someone send this bit of code by mistake or he was trying to infect your computer. Failed miserably at both. ;D

Really? Is it that easy to send a virus? I thought you would have to open an attachment to get an email virus? Clearly, i'm not computer literate...  ???

No need to worry, this single line could not affect a mouse.  It would have to be complete script shell or batch file.  Still I am interested why someone would send it to prossie email. Macro viruses are ugly, nasty shit; they can be embedded in a perfectly normal, innocent looking Word document sent from friend's email. Once you open it they run automatically. Because they depend on application, they can infect computer run by any operating system. Most modern antivirus programs are able to detect them; not always, though. If cleverly written, they can slip through.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 04 January 2012, 01:18:45 am
Idiot hangs up after half a ring.
I send a polite text requesting him to call me and that I'm available.
and not to text back, nor half ring hang up.
To which I get a series of youf texts for info...
Ignoring these either gets a phone call or they stop.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 04 January 2012, 01:59:29 am
There's got to be an iPhone app for it........ ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: francesca_d2011 on 04 January 2012, 03:23:38 am
.. Very tempting offer... NOT. 

Hi there,

You sound like a dirty girl! I have a fantasy I'd like to act out.
I'd like to meet a stranger for natural sex without a condom and cum in her, like I would in a girlfriend (or dirty whore!).

Is this something you're interested in?

S

Me being the 'dirty whore' referred to in brackets, I presume.  Err no thanks.
(I don't do BB anyway, for ANY amount of money)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 04 January 2012, 11:06:36 am
What an idiot ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 04 January 2012, 11:08:25 am
A phonecall...

TW - Hi, I'd like to to book you for an hour this Evening. How does ?100 per hour sound?
    Me - It sounds like a lot less than my usual fee.
TW - Thats a 'No' isn't it.
    Me - Yep. Bye.

I love it when they catch on quick :)

R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kiko on 04 January 2012, 11:42:02 am
Quote
... I have to tell you .... You nearly owed me a bunch of money for redecoration of my living room after reading your blog ! .... Picture the scene - me ... Quietly trawling the internet in a bid to source my favourite flava shake ;) ... And to begin something I've never done before ... When I click on your link ...

Attracted hugely by your pictures (I'm not shallow but jeeeeerrez) ;) ... I began to peruse your perfect profile ..... And then .... After picturing myself gently sucking on your bottom lip as we pulled away from our first kiss .... I happened across your blog ......

...... I was laughing so hard my legs gave way careering me across the room ... Bouncing off chairs and fireplace on my stumble ... Only to be saved by my curtains which I grabbed hold of as the tears of understood humour ran down my face .... Luckily ... The rather well attatched curtain pole held firm (I thank you... ;) hehe) .... And no further damage was caused .... But ....as.a result ..... I think it only fair that you give me your phone number ...... You know ..... To appologize audably ... For nearly ruining my home ;)

I dunno... At least he's original! But this comes across as somebody looking for a date rather than a booking. And my blogs really aren't that funny!  Hmm... He aint getting my number... Unless he's smart enough to google it...!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 05 January 2012, 04:02:20 pm
from the wonder that is AW:

'Id love to be made to do something with a horse!!!! Is that mad?

 xxx'

short answer.... 'yes'  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 05 January 2012, 04:45:21 pm
Ok so I made a rare reverse bid........email back from the guy:


Thanks very much, in all honesty I'm looking for a new regular girl, the lovely lady I used to see moved back to oxford, so I'm kinda tring to find a beautiful lady who I get on well with, is good in bed and I can afford to come see me on a regular basis! Does that sound like something we might be able to come to an arrangement on? X
 

Am I being cynical in thinking he is looking for an instant discount?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 05 January 2012, 04:46:17 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 05 January 2012, 04:02:20 pm
from the wonder that is AW:

'Id love to be made to do something with a horse!!!! Is that mad?

 xxx'

short answer.... 'yes'  ::)

Yep certifiable!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 05 January 2012, 06:13:53 pm
Quote
Hey :)

I'm really looking forward to using your service, I was just wondering if you could give me a brief overview of what would happen in a typical session.

Thanks :)

My reply - "Hahahaha dream on sunshine (-:"

 ;D

He has been registered for 3 years, still no feedback too.

Baring in ind my profile has a whole section of "what happens in a typical session"  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 06 January 2012, 01:21:25 am
Quote from: Mellow on 05 January 2012, 04:45:21 pm
Ok so I made a rare reverse bid........email back from the guy:


Thanks very much, in all honesty I'm looking for a new regular girl, the lovely lady I used to see moved back to oxford, so I'm kinda tring to find a beautiful lady who I get on well with, is good in bed and I can afford to come see me on a regular basis! Does that sound like something we might be able to come to an arrangement on? X
 

Am I being cynical in thinking he is looking for an instant discount?!


Not cynical at all. I really need to get out of this business, I'm beginning to hate men!
what a tosser.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 06 January 2012, 11:34:24 am
Quote from: Mellow on 05 January 2012, 04:46:17 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 05 January 2012, 04:02:20 pm
from the wonder that is AW:

'Id love to be made to do something with a horse!!!! Is that mad?

 xxx'

short answer.... 'yes'  ::)

Yep certifiable!



I've heard it all now... :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littlepeanut on 06 January 2012, 01:08:26 pm
Got this one yesterday......

Hope all is well

I'm interested in an overnight booking in London this week. This would be at a top hotel in central London, most likely around Kensington.

The night would include drinks and possibly a club for a little dirty dancing and further flirting. Then back to the hotel for some great sex.

A little about moi, I'm 28 and work in advertising - I think we'd have a superb night together. I'm not your suited and booted type, more skinny jeans and denim jacket, I'm basically a young guy with a very high sex drive :)

Are you able to do anything rates wise at all? I hate asking that! I've had overnighters in the past for ?250 - would this be possible?

I'm also on msn in you fancy a natter. wanker@hotmail.co.uk

I Look forward to hearing from you.


I think he'll be waiting a long time to hear from me
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 06 January 2012, 02:09:51 pm
In my experience, anyone who describes themselves as 'moi' without a trace of irony, or uses the word 'natter' is to be avoided, regardless of all the other knobheadly things he wrote in addition to those two words   ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 06 January 2012, 03:03:54 pm
"Let's have a natter about THIS, mate... I think you should move BACK to Shoreditch and book the escorts who charged TOI those cut-rate overnight fees.... and leave me be to the non-cheapskates!!xxx"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 06 January 2012, 09:13:43 pm
?250 for an overnight?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kitty_of_Herts on 06 January 2012, 09:19:47 pm
Quote from: littlepeanut on 06 January 2012, 01:08:26 pm
Got this one yesterday......

Hope all is well

I'm interested in an overnight booking in London this week. This would be at a top hotel in central London, most likely around Kensington.

The night would include drinks and possibly a club for a little dirty dancing and further flirting. Then back to the hotel for some great sex.

A little about moi, I'm 28 and work in advertising - I think we'd have a superb night together. I'm not your suited and booted type, more skinny jeans and denim jacket, I'm basically a young guy with a very high sex drive :)

Are you able to do anything rates wise at all? I hate asking that! I've had overnighters in the past for ?250 - would this be possible?

I'm also on msn in you fancy a natter. wanker@hotmail.co.uk

I Look forward to hearing from you.


I think he'll be waiting a long time to hear from me

Him! I used to webcam for him occasionally. That's an almost word-perfect copy of a message he sent me a year ago. Funnily enough a booking never appeared even after he decided I was "worth (my) usual rates".  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 07 January 2012, 06:08:28 pm
Just had this one -

'Do I get a discount because I have a tiny dick?'

Ummmm.... >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 08 January 2012, 12:23:25 am
Quote from: Kitty_of_Herts on 06 January 2012, 09:19:47 pm
Quote from: littlepeanut on 06 January 2012, 01:08:26 pm
Got this one yesterday......

Hope all is well

I'm interested in an overnight booking in London this week. This would be at a top hotel in central London, most likely around Kensington.

The night would include drinks and possibly a club for a little dirty dancing and further flirting. Then back to the hotel for some great sex.

A little about moi, I'm 28 and work in advertising - I think we'd have a superb night together. I'm not your suited and booted type, more skinny jeans and denim jacket, I'm basically a young guy with a very high sex drive :)

Are you able to do anything rates wise at all? I hate asking that! I've had overnighters in the past for ?250 - would this be possible?

I'm also on msn in you fancy a natter. wanker@hotmail.co.uk

I Look forward to hearing from you.


I think he'll be waiting a long time to hear from me

Him! I used to webcam for him occasionally. That's an almost word-perfect copy of a message he sent me a year ago. Funnily enough a booking never appeared even after he decided I was "worth (my) usual rates".  ::)

I was offered ?50 more about 6 months ago.  Obviously his finances are dropping ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NorthernIrishNatalie on 08 January 2012, 12:44:46 am
"What's your rates babe?".
 "All rates are on my profile as are all other details." I reply whilst thinking for what? A 30 minute incall, outcall to the nearest hotel, the moon? What?!
  "Ok so an hour is ?160?".
 "Yes." I'm already anticipating the discount query in the next message.
 "Would ya do it for ?80 seeing as it's me?". The tosser who I have never met before nor even had a brief chat on the phone with needless to say did not receive a text back and since has been saved in my phone as 'It's me, WANKER.'
 Natalie Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 08 January 2012, 12:56:35 pm
OMG I'm getting all the freaking cheapskates lately!
I get a guy wanting massage/HR, I tell him the price, he says....perfect.

Then he has the nerve to text me this:

"I don't really want a massage just for me to have a couple of wanks would you be able to do the for ?30? You don't have to touch me"

I often ignore these kind of texts but today I'd had enough of idiots. So I texted him back to say I don't negotiate on my clearly stated profile prices and I doubted he would find anyone to do it for that price.

What a pisstake!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 08 January 2012, 07:32:31 pm
Speaking of idiots, just got this one -

'Hi, I have seen you a few times now, so do I get a discount?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 08 January 2012, 08:19:17 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 08 January 2012, 12:56:35 pm
"I don't really want a massage just for me to have a couple of wanks would you be able to do the for ?30? You don't have to touch me"

You're already not touching him for free - what more does he want?! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 08 January 2012, 08:43:15 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 07 January 2012, 06:08:28 pm
Just had this one -

'Do I get a discount because I have a tiny dick?'

Ummmm.... >:(

"No, you have to pay more, because  you have a tiny dick."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 08 January 2012, 11:15:07 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 08 January 2012, 08:43:15 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 07 January 2012, 06:08:28 pm
Just had this one -

'Do I get a discount because I have a tiny dick?'

Ummmm.... >:(

"No, you have to pay more, because  you have a tiny dick."

Agreed!  I never know what to do with them :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 09 January 2012, 09:11:14 am
Quote from: EmilyJones on 08 January 2012, 08:19:17 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 08 January 2012, 12:56:35 pm
"I don't really want a massage just for me to have a couple of wanks would you be able to do the for ?30? You don't have to touch me"

You're already not touching him for free - what more does he want?! ;D

Haha this cracked me up Emily - exactly what I thought at the time as well.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 09 January 2012, 04:48:58 pm
Just had a bizarre voicemail left by some one who withheld their number.  Could not make out what they were saying at all but I think he was just wanking off to the sound of my voice!

Yeuch yeuch and double yeuch!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 09 January 2012, 05:19:27 pm
I'm getting them all today, just got this text:

I would love too book but would you buy a puppy without seeing her first? Jim. !

I wasn't going to respond but wondered what a suitably scathing response would be..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 09 January 2012, 06:00:24 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 09 January 2012, 05:19:27 pm
I would love too book but would you buy a puppy without seeing her first? Jim. !

I wasn't going to respond but wondered what a suitably scathing response would be..

Seriously?  He's into puppies??  *shocked*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 09 January 2012, 06:09:18 pm
Quote from: EvaBeeva on 09 January 2012, 06:00:24 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 09 January 2012, 05:19:27 pm
I would love too book but would you buy a puppy without seeing her first? Jim. !

I wasn't going to respond but wondered what a suitably scathing response would be..

Seriously?  He's into puppies??  *shocked*


He's saying that he can't see or hasn't seen your pictures (or maybe your face?), and wants to book but won't until he knows what you look like. Hence the "buy a puppy" analogy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 09 January 2012, 06:31:12 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 09 January 2012, 06:09:18 pm
Quote from: EvaBeeva on 09 January 2012, 06:00:24 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 09 January 2012, 05:19:27 pm
I would love too book but would you buy a puppy without seeing her first? Jim. !

I wasn't going to respond but wondered what a suitably scathing response would be..

Seriously?  He's into puppies??  *shocked*


He's saying that he can't see or hasn't seen your pictures (or maybe your face?), and wants to book but won't until he knows what you look like. Hence the "buy a puppy" analogy.

I know Cat! Actually there's loads of pics in my profile and a couple of videos. He's just being too tight to pay up or he'd have a very good idea of what I look like.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 09 January 2012, 06:38:46 pm
And another one - I must have a big sign on my forehead saying idiots call this number

I get a phone call, guy with a very heavy foreign accent - I work out he wants a booking, when he starts asking for prices I refer him to my profile, then he says:
so I get 3 hours for ?150

Err I don't think so...

***hangs up***
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 09 January 2012, 09:37:45 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 09 January 2012, 06:38:46 pm
And another one - I must have a big sign on my forehead saying idiots call this number

I get a phone call, guy with a very heavy foreign accent - I work out he wants a booking, when he starts asking for prices I refer him to my profile, then he says:
so I get 3 hours for ?150

Err I don't think so...

***hangs up***

I love idiots like this. I had one guy who asked how much for the hour and so I quoted my fee. He then accused me of making the fee up, and apparently it wasn't the same as detailed on my profile. A load of rubbish.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 10 January 2012, 01:15:37 am
Quote from: Mellow on 09 January 2012, 05:19:27 pm
I would love too book but would you buy a puppy without seeing her first? Jim. !
Send him a photo of a cute puppy, please!  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Oriana on 10 January 2012, 12:10:04 pm
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_8CwAMdpyFPw/TUNUxAv9AiI/AAAAAAAAADM/D-VwQJTy3ak/s1600/sad-puppy.jpg)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lexi on 10 January 2012, 01:26:01 pm
Hahah that dog is so cute, been keeping up to date with this thread and have to say am finding it hilarious, the cute dog just topped it off!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 10 January 2012, 03:30:20 pm
Quote from: Oriana on 10 January 2012, 12:10:04 pm
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_8CwAMdpyFPw/TUNUxAv9AiI/AAAAAAAAADM/D-VwQJTy3ak/s1600/sad-puppy.jpg)

Oh dear how tempted am I to send this to that idiot!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Oriana on 10 January 2012, 04:01:34 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 10 January 2012, 03:30:20 pm
Oh dear how tempted am I to send this to that idiot!

That was the purpose!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 10 January 2012, 04:20:26 pm
Quote from: Oriana on 10 January 2012, 04:01:34 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 10 January 2012, 03:30:20 pm
Oh dear how tempted am I to send this to that idiot!

That was the purpose!  ;D


Teehee feeling a wee bit bored so I sent it to him!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 11 January 2012, 03:03:54 am
Now I can go to sleep, a happy bunny! :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lexi on 11 January 2012, 08:03:17 pm
Just had this:

Hi there

I previously use to work with escorts by filming me and them or taking shots of us doing sexual content however I have recently got back into after being asked to join some escorts over the past few weeks.

I have worked with a fair amount of escorts now and understand some do not wish to do filming although would like to do the shots so either filming or shots can be had or both.
The escorts have used the material on their AW page as a way of promoting themselves more and gaining/attracting new clients.

Would you be interested in having a session to produce professional material which will be your property after creation.
You can choose how long you wish the session to be.

I am offering this for free for the first time.

DISCRETION CAN BE KEPT IF REQUESTED
DISCRETION CAN BE KEPT IF REQUESTED

If you wish to be paid for this then name you're price however I would appreciate some form of discussion/negotiation first as I am offering this chance for free.

I have professional movies and pictures of my work so far which I can send samples of if you are interested.
My page is quite watered down at the moment so my samples will have to be sent via email.

I am genuine so do get in touch
Best regards to the new year.
xx

Yummy - how nice is he to be offering the recording of sexual material  for free!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 11 January 2012, 08:45:02 pm
Offering this chance for free? What a knob.

 :-X :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 12 January 2012, 01:24:47 am
Quote from: Lexi on 11 January 2012, 08:03:17 pm
If you wish to be paid for this then name you're price....

Ok, one billion, squillion, zillion pounds. And my own jet. And a Unicorn, with flowers in its tail. And...

What??? Lol, like my fantasies are -less- likely to come true than his???
R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 12 January 2012, 01:24:00 pm
Quote from: Lexi on 11 January 2012, 08:03:17 pm
Just had this:

Hi there

I previously use to work with escorts by filming me and them or taking shots of us doing sexual content however I have recently got back into after being asked to join some escorts over the past few weeks.

I have worked with a fair amount of escorts now and understand some do not wish to do filming although would like to do the shots so either filming or shots can be had or both.
The escorts have used the material on their AW page as a way of promoting themselves more and gaining/attracting new clients.

Would you be interested in having a session to produce professional material which will be your property after creation.
You can choose how long you wish the session to be.

I am offering this for free for the first time.

DISCRETION CAN BE KEPT IF REQUESTED
DISCRETION CAN BE KEPT IF REQUESTED

If you wish to be paid for this then name you're price however I would appreciate some form of discussion/negotiation first as I am offering this chance for free.

I have professional movies and pictures of my work so far which I can send samples of if you are interested.
My page is quite watered down at the moment so my samples will have to be sent via email.

I am genuine so do get in touch
Best regards to the new year.
xx

Yummy - how nice is he to be offering the recording of sexual material  for free!

Had this one yesterday and went to his profile page and there are 3 really bad pictures and the main one is of his cock. He is only a young kid as well so guess he is trying anything for a freebie.  If that is the quaity of his pics I will pass as they are done with a camera phone and bloody awful
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lexi on 12 January 2012, 02:42:06 pm
Yeah I saw his pics too, what a waste of an email... He even sent it to me twice! Refrained from sending a sarcastic email back but decided against it in the end. Its getting a bit boring now all these pointless emails!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 12 January 2012, 03:55:00 pm
Oops I am bored today as off work sick so did reply, not heard back so I guess he got the message loud and clear
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 12 January 2012, 07:56:50 pm
Well he replied
His response shows just what sort of person he is

"go fuck yourslef bitch" was his reply to me giving constructive critisism of his photos if he wants to advertise himself as a professional tog.

Definately not the sort of person I would want to be naked in front of
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miaken on 12 January 2012, 09:01:38 pm
Just confirmation that his profile photo is accurate and ihe is, actually, a dick.

Just little things like the way that whole thing was poorly worded and structured sound the alarm bells for me. It's like someone straining really hard to sound eloquent and professional.

And of course the fact he's willing to negotiate money on his FREE offer to have sex with you is also somewhat of a give away, but still.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 12 January 2012, 10:51:08 pm
I just have a guy call up, asking if I'd consider letting him cum in my bottom and then slurp it out :-X *gags* I said no, obviously, because that would be bareback, which I do not do. He seemed genuinely shocked that I didn't offer it... ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsummer on 12 January 2012, 11:29:06 pm
Ok, so can't compete with the above, but found this one I just got a bit optimistic, a booking request for a booking starting in 30 mins, he had put a lower rate, and it was an outcall so would have taken me at least 30 mins to get there, and he wanted to pay in coins only...  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 13 January 2012, 12:24:55 am
Quote from: Mellow on 10 January 2012, 04:20:26 pm
Quote from: Oriana on 10 January 2012, 04:01:34 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 10 January 2012, 03:30:20 pm
Oh dear how tempted am I to send this to that idiot!

That was the purpose!  ;D


Teehee feeling a wee bit bored so I sent it to him!

*skips with joy*  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 13 January 2012, 12:47:17 am
Quote from: Adriana on 12 January 2012, 11:29:06 pm
and he wanted to pay in coins only...  ???

I choked on my tea! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 13 January 2012, 08:10:46 am
Quote from: sweet jane on 13 January 2012, 12:24:55 am
Quote from: Mellow on 10 January 2012, 04:20:26 pm
Quote from: Oriana on 10 January 2012, 04:01:34 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 10 January 2012, 03:30:20 pm
Oh dear how tempted am I to send this to that idiot!

That was the purpose!  ;D


Teehee feeling a wee bit bored so I sent it to him!

*skips with joy*  ;D

I saved him on my phone as 'PuppyIdiot'. Funniest thing is I get a voicemail from him at 11pm the other night saying:

I couldn't open the picture, something wrong with my phone....mumble...mumble.....I'd really like to meet you

He seriously thought I'd been sending him sexy pics not a sarcastic puppy pic

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 13 January 2012, 08:42:35 am
I never normally put anything in here but I've just read an AW email (sent at 4.30am, naturally! From a "P****foryou", as I'm sure you'll all have the same thing, too ;D) which basically ticks all the No boxes so well that it's almost like he composed it just for this thread! I thought I should pop it in here so his efforts don't go to waste, ha.

Quote
Hi Emily

I am very interested in booking you, especially as your profile suggests we will have a lovely time together. Your pictures seem to suggest you are a very very attractive lady - lucky me !!.say overnight (12 hours) 8 till 8 for ?750 ?

Am seeking a lovely easy going ladyfor a night of role play, fun and daft giggles at me hotel in London - i have all the required number of limbs and both my eyes work !! - I even have mates that are girls !! .I will provide the coke, mdma, weed, beer, wine, food etc.....hoping you can provide a few uniforms, some viagra and an address book of possible other girls we can get over for a while. as it will be a big night i have booked the room for the next night as well, so if you want you can stay for a while and we can relax and chill for the next day.......any road.....all i am looking for is an easy going caner who fancies a great time with a half decent looking, and nice bloke.......

Just to confirm, as I would like a party night (but respectful to you of course), and I can provide the wine ands drugs, that;

a) you want to share those with me
b) if we wanted to , you would be happy for us to get a second girl over (but only for a couple of hours of course -as I expect to have my hands full with you !)
c) you can bring loads of Viagra (nothing like the comedy view of a chap that you can rest your hat on !)
d) you can bring some uniforms and enjoy games and role plays

Lets face it, it is a long booking and I hope that you wish to relax and fill the time with some relaxed and sexy fun + giggles + good chats of course

best
P

He wants discounts, drugs, services I don't offer, extra girls that I apparently keep in my cupboards despite being straight... I can't even be mildly miffed because it's all just so hilarious that he thinks I might even reply. ;D

Poor kid. I hope he gets his life a bit sorted soon, it sounds like he's destined to end up an abandoned corpse in a hotel room - all money and possessions stripped from him by whatever "ladies" he ends up booking - naked and dead with a massive viagra boner at this rate! Hopefully it's all just a silly fantasy though. Whew!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miaken on 13 January 2012, 10:39:56 am
Do you girls consider it our responsibility to provide Viagra? I don't! I almost find it a bit insulting... telling someone "I wanna shag ya, but - christ - bring some viagra, luv!"

I know it's not at all related to attraction, obviously, but still... surely if the guy has a problem with getting it up it's his responsibility to fix it, not ours? It's a bit like going into a chain of McDonald's and expecting them to perform dental surgery on you before you eat.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 13 January 2012, 04:39:14 pm
It is insulting. I've been asked to supply Class A drugs, viagra and much more. Men are idiots.

 :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 13 January 2012, 10:06:52 pm
Some girls will provide drugs and that is the problem. 

I've been asked on numerous occasions and they're always slightly disbelieving when I say I wouldn't know where to get them ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 14 January 2012, 02:06:05 am
After a sporadic time over christmas, today I got busy.
I just saw a lovely HGV driver. After dropping him back off at his cab
(after doing all the security stuff, I do prior to any appointment)
I had a call from Declan in Ireland. He is based on the North/South border.
He (allegedly) gets over to Manchester. I'm just north of London, so my 'Dubious Alarm' vibrates.
He found my number in the back of an old Exchange & Mart mag (ask your dad)
I said that went pop, 3 or 4 years ago.  ('Dubious Alarm' vibrating at a higher pitch)
Anyway, after giving my fee and service details (20 seconds)
he says:
"Can I do a wank call, to keep me going?"

'No, I have to hang up, so I can post your request on an Escort-only website, for everyone's amusement'  :o
I hang up, with him still chirping away.
Happy River. It's been a good day.   :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 14 January 2012, 02:29:14 am
Recap.
Idiot wants a photo from Mellow,
saying a person wouldn't buy a puppy unseen.
I suggested a picture of a puppy is sent
Oriana runs with it by providing Mellow with a puppy-pic.
Quote from: Mellow on 13 January 2012, 08:10:46 am
Quote from: Mellow on 10 January 2012, 04:20:26 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 10 January 2012, 03:30:20 pm
Oh dear how tempted am I to send this to that idiot!
Teehee feeling a wee bit bored so I sent it to him!
I saved him on my phone as 'PuppyIdiot'. Funniest thing is I get a voicemail from him at 11pm the other night saying:
I couldn't open the picture, something wrong with my phone....mumble...mumble.....I'd really like to meet you
He seriously thought I'd been sending him sexy pics not a sarcastic puppy pic
Ok
this is good.
Please send him this: http://www.zedge.net/ringtones/0-1-1-dog%20barking%20sms/

Lets see how long we can keep the puppy-thing going with 'PuppyIdiot'
When he twigs, don't forget to remind him
that he started the puppy train of thought.   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 14 January 2012, 02:33:07 am
Quote from: EmilyJones on 13 January 2012, 08:42:35 am
Poor kid. I hope he gets his life a bit sorted soon, it sounds like he's destined to end up an abandoned corpse in a hotel room - all money and possessions stripped from him by whatever "ladies" he ends up booking - naked and dead with a massive viagra boner at this rate! Hopefully it's all just a silly fantasy though. Whew!
I wanna know how they'd get the coffin lid closed.
( Genuine question  :P )
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 14 January 2012, 02:36:15 am
Quote from: Miaken on 13 January 2012, 10:39:56 am
Do you girls consider it our responsibility to provide Viagra? I don't! I almost find it a bit insulting... telling someone "I wanna shag ya, but - christ - bring some viagra, luv!"
I look on clients who use Viagra when seeing Providers, as cheating!
Well it is , innit! (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-basic/chin.gif) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 14 January 2012, 07:49:20 am
Quote from: JodieTs on 14 January 2012, 02:29:14 am
Ok
this is good.
Please send him this: http://www.zedge.net/ringtones/0-1-1-dog%20barking%20sms/

Lets see how long we can keep the puppy-thing going with 'PuppyIdiot'
When he twigs, don't forget to remind him
that he started the puppy train of thought.   ;D

Classic Jodie!  The matter is in hand....updates to follow
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Oriana on 14 January 2012, 10:07:56 am
Quote from: JodieTs on 14 January 2012, 02:29:14 am
Recap.
Idiot wants a photo from Mellow,
saying a person wouldn't buy a puppy unseen.
I suggested a picture of a puppy is sent
Oriana runs with it by providing Mellow with a puppy-pic.
Quote from: Mellow on 13 January 2012, 08:10:46 am
Quote from: Mellow on 10 January 2012, 04:20:26 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 10 January 2012, 03:30:20 pm
Oh dear how tempted am I to send this to that idiot!
Teehee feeling a wee bit bored so I sent it to him!
I saved him on my phone as 'PuppyIdiot'. Funniest thing is I get a voicemail from him at 11pm the other night saying:
I couldn't open the picture, something wrong with my phone....mumble...mumble.....I'd really like to meet you
He seriously thought I'd been sending him sexy pics not a sarcastic puppy pic
Ok
this is good.
Please send him this: http://www.zedge.net/ringtones/0-1-1-dog%20barking%20sms/

Lets see how long we can keep the puppy-thing going with 'PuppyIdiot'
When he twigs, don't forget to remind him
that he started the puppy train of thought.   ;D

Oh, man, I am dying with laughter here. Well done!  ;D
Poor bloke will never again mention puppies!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 14 January 2012, 10:46:20 am
Quote from: JodieTs on 14 January 2012, 02:36:15 am
Quote from: Miaken on 13 January 2012, 10:39:56 am
Do you girls consider it our responsibility to provide Viagra? I don't! I almost find it a bit insulting... telling someone "I wanna shag ya, but - christ - bring some viagra, luv!"
I look on clients who use Viagra when seeing Providers, as cheating!
Well it is , innit! (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-basic/chin.gif) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

It is cheating. and annoying. I don't want a client that lasts for twenty years *cringes at the prospect of pussy pain*  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 14 January 2012, 11:53:04 am
Ok PuppyIdiot update......

I text the ad for the barking ringtones so kindly supplied by Jodie, which I was so sure he would adore

I get a text back saying STOP

So I respond with:

With pleasure, but just remember who started up with the puppy theme!

I diagnose an irreversible sense of humour failure
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 14 January 2012, 12:44:20 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 14 January 2012, 11:53:04 am
Ok PuppyIdiot update......

I text the ad for the barking ringtones so kindly supplied by Jodie, which I was so sure he would adore

I get a text back saying STOP

So I respond with:

With pleasure, but just remember who started up with the puppy theme!

I diagnose an irreversible sense of humour failure

 ;D PRICELESS! That just cheered me up x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 14 January 2012, 01:34:11 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 14 January 2012, 02:33:07 am
I wanna know how they'd get the coffin lid closed. ( Genuine question  :P )

Hacksaw. Who's gonna check?  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 14 January 2012, 03:32:47 pm
Quote from: MissThang on 14 January 2012, 01:34:11 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 14 January 2012, 02:33:07 am
I wanna know how they'd get the coffin lid closed. ( Genuine question  :P )

Hacksaw. Who's gonna check?  ;D

 ;D

Quote from: Mellow on 14 January 2012, 11:53:04 am
I diagnose an irreversible sense of humour failure

 ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 14 January 2012, 08:33:06 pm
Quote from: River on 14 January 2012, 02:06:05 am
I just saw a lovely HGV driver.

I later had this text from him:
Driver - Thank u very much for tonight c u soon..
Me - Thanks. It was lovely seeing you  Come back soon. x

Later I had a further message, which was useful as I'd just noticed something out of place in my bathroom.
Driver - I will why what u like to do with me xx
Me - Hand you your glasses back...
           You left them in my bathroom.
           Pick them up on your way back from (insert Nordic country )
           or give me an address to post them to.

Not my usual method of attracting repeat clients.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 14 January 2012, 08:52:10 pm
Just recieved this one on AW. How odd...

'hey i go to loughborough uni and am studying physiotherapy. i need volunteers to try reflexology (basically a foot massage) and would like to offer this to you for free? i really need the feedback which would help me a lot.

please do let me know if it is something that would appeal for you?

hope to hear from you soon

thanks! :-) x'

 :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverbird on 14 January 2012, 09:44:39 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 14 January 2012, 08:52:10 pm

'hey i go to loughborough uni and am studying physiotherapy. i need volunteers to try reflexology (basically a foot massage) and would like to offer this to you for free? i really need the feedback which would help me a lot.

They are getting clever aren't they? Multifarious in their scheming ways...
The good thing is, that thanks to this forum, there's a helluva lot more of us who can/will see their desperate, devious
and snidey ways and that hopefully, the odds are stacking up nicely against them ;D

W.xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 14 January 2012, 10:56:21 pm
So damn devious.

If this was true, why would you seek candidates on an escorting site? Baffling.  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 14 January 2012, 11:02:17 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 14 January 2012, 08:52:10 pm
Just recieved this one on AW. How odd...

'hey i go to loughborough uni and am studying physiotherapy. i need volunteers to try reflexology (basically a foot massage) and would like to offer this to you for free? i really need the feedback which would help me a lot.

please do let me know if it is something that would appeal for you?

hope to hear from you soon

thanks! :-) x'

 :-\

I get this one every three months exactly the same, he has been doing it for over three years. Nutter!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 14 January 2012, 11:32:05 pm
God, what a lunatic!  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 14 January 2012, 11:59:29 pm
Quote from: pandora on 14 January 2012, 11:02:17 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 14 January 2012, 08:52:10 pm
Just recieved this one on AW. How odd...

'hey i go to loughborough uni and am studying physiotherapy. i need volunteers to try reflexology (basically a foot massage) and would like to offer this to you for free? i really need the feedback which would help me a lot.

please do let me know if it is something that would appeal for you?

hope to hear from you soon

thanks! :-) x'

 :-\

I get this one every three months exactly the same, he has been doing it for over three years. Nutter!



I got it, too!! And then, just after I read it, he PHONED me!!!
"Er, is this Tera?"
"Yes, it is."
"I just sent you a message on AW about reflexology."
"Yes, I just read it."
"Great. So, are you interested??"
"If I were in search of a reflexologist, then AW would not be the place I'd go looking..."
"Er...okay" and sheepishly hangs up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 15 January 2012, 11:08:54 am
It's so true as well! Why would you look on AW? Idiot. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 15 January 2012, 11:50:23 am
Anyone else had this little gem?


Hi,

Do you need your own website? I'm a web developer who is hoping you would be willing to trade services for me to make you one? I am also very good at Search Engine Optimisation and rankings in Google.

Let me know if this is something you'd be happy to do.

Thanks

Will
 

Just the wording trade services makes my skin crawl.......
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 15 January 2012, 12:17:07 pm
I've had a few of these too. Sad little men.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nikki74 on 15 January 2012, 03:31:48 pm
ive had "you look stunning in yr pics,are you single? im 35 and english! ?????????????????
i wonder and yr point being? did he want to book only a wg if shes single?
another
"hi honey,sorry to be really cheeky,would you be able to do anything this evening for ?20?
sorry to be so cheeky(even a handjob or blowjob would be appreciated) thanks
this was at 19;25 on xmas eve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:(

ive just  took them straight from my phone as they still make me smile ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 15 January 2012, 11:51:01 pm
So a further PuppyIdiot update

I receive a drunken voicemail at 11 45 tonight:
I really like your profile. You can.call me anytime day or night he says, slurring so much I can hardly make out what he's saying.

Oh yes what a jolly attractive proposition!
Has evil thoughts of finding more puppy related paraphernalia to make his day
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 16 January 2012, 12:42:38 pm
Ok so I accidently pick up a call from an unknown number.  I explain to the guy that he must call to confirm from an identifiable number.

Guess what ........two calls now near the appointment time, from a witheld number, which needless to say, I did not answer.
Jeez I could not have made it clearer than I did - he obviously thought I would just see him anyway, what a dickhead!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 16 January 2012, 01:24:07 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 16 January 2012, 12:42:38 pm
Ok so I accidently pick up a call from an unknown number.  I explain to the guy that he must call to confirm from an identifiable number.

Guess what ........two calls now near the appointment time, from a witheld number, which needless to say, I did not answer.
Jeez I could not have made it clearer than I did - he obviously thought I would just see him anyway, what a dickhead!

Yup I've had this when I used to pick up withhelds and advise to call back showing their number. It actually happened to me the day I had withheld numbers blocked from my phone. He not only wanted a booking, but wanted one especially earlier than usual. I said ok but you'll need to phone at xx time, and display your number because I'm about to put a block on.

Guess he must have thought I was making it up. Following morning, two withheld calls went through to a message advising must phone from displayed number.

Could have been anyone though of course (another reason for  not dealing with withhelds!).

Also use to have someone who rang several times asking for details, then would phone on the day at short notice - always withheld. I eventually said "Look if you can't phone and display your number, you are wasting your time I won't even give you an appointment if I've nothing else to do". Must have thought if he phoned and I wasn't booked I'd then relent. Not so I'm not desperate and would rather operate without hassle, minimise danger than make an extra ?130 or whatever.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 16 January 2012, 01:43:21 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 16 January 2012, 12:42:38 pm
Ok so I accidently pick up a call from an unknown number.  I explain to the guy that he must call to confirm from an identifiable number.

Guess what ........two calls now near the appointment time, from a witheld number, which needless to say, I did not answer.
Jeez I could not have made it clearer than I did - he obviously thought I would just see him anyway, what a dickhead!

Oops I did this guy.an injustice - get a call 10 minutes later when I'd given up on him,.from an identifiable mobile number! Maybe it was someone else ringing before, or maybe he just got the message!

Back when I was starting I stupidly used to answer all calls, and usually they just wanted details, probably to wank off to!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 16 January 2012, 02:05:45 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 16 January 2012, 01:43:21 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 16 January 2012, 12:42:38 pm
Ok so I accidently pick up a call from an unknown number.  I explain to the guy that he must call to confirm from an identifiable number.

Guess what ........two calls now near the appointment time, from a witheld number, which needless to say, I did not answer.
Jeez I could not have made it clearer than I did - he obviously thought I would just see him anyway, what a dickhead!

Oops I did this guy.an injustice - get a call 10 minutes later when I'd given up on him,.from an identifiable mobile number! Maybe it was someone else ringing before, or maybe he just got the message!

Back when I was starting I stupidly used to answer all calls, and usually they just wanted details, probably to wank off to!
Good for you, however just more reasons for not allowing withhelds. Say your guy was called "John", books from withheld, you get another withheld call later on from "John" talking about an appointment the same day, or even the same time. Massive scope for mix-ups, also if he calls to confirm or even for directions you might pick up another withheld and don't have a way to get back to the person with the appointment.

Too much to go wrong for both sides.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 16 January 2012, 02:36:45 pm
How about this gem?

 :-\

'I fancy the hell out of you, I really do... I think I just need you to reel me in by really encouraging me to come over to see you.

I'm nervous, but I also really want to see you! I hope you understand!

I will need the same kind of sensitive treatment, you taking the lead and taking me in hand, when we meet finally!

Steven xx'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KatieKurves on 16 January 2012, 05:08:36 pm
Wot about this one - Do you do french kissing

And that's it nothing else!!! Makes my brain hurt sometimes.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 16 January 2012, 05:23:28 pm
Quote from: Kurvy-Kate on 16 January 2012, 05:08:36 pm
Wot about this one - Do you do french kissing

And that's it nothing else!!! Makes my brain hurt sometimes.

xx

You should say yes, and only kissing. Idiots  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 16 January 2012, 06:00:30 pm
Quote from: Kurvy-Kate on 16 January 2012, 05:08:36 pm
Wot about this one - Do you do french kissing

Just reply 'Mais Oui' - and then eat lots of raw garlic before he turns up :)

R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 16 January 2012, 06:02:58 pm
Just got this classy email........

do you sell underwear

I'm kinda guessing he means used underwear
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 16 January 2012, 07:13:54 pm
Oh, and this one -

'I like rimming, so if I cum see you, then I would expect that area to be nice and clean.'

What a flippin' cheek!!! :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RedLady1991 on 16 January 2012, 09:43:50 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 16 January 2012, 07:13:54 pm
Oh, and this one -

'I like rimming, so if I cum see you, then I would expect that area to be nice and clean.'

What a flippin' cheek!!! :(

Yeah because you would turn up to an appointment with a dirty ring piece... *eyeroll*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littlepeanut on 16 January 2012, 11:09:18 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 16 January 2012, 02:36:45 pm
How about this gem?

 :-\

'I fancy the hell out of you, I really do... I think I just need you to reel me in by really encouraging me to come over to see you.

I'm nervous, but I also really want to see you! I hope you understand!

I will need the same kind of sensitive treatment, you taking the lead and taking me in hand, when we meet finally!

Steven xx'


Hehe that reminds me of one guy I had seen a few times who was outside my apartment just before our appointment who sent me a text saying he was sorry but he had a girlfriend and I would have to tempt him up so he didnt feel guilty!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littlepeanut on 16 January 2012, 11:13:51 pm
I had a lovely message on AW today from an older guy stating that he is 57 and doesn't get sex at home anymore. Usually perfect for me, but he had another alias as a 29 year old service provider!!! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 17 January 2012, 12:42:43 am
^
Weird.  I got a 'happy new year' message from a guy who stated that he had decided to offer himself as an escort.

Like, why do I care?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 17 January 2012, 11:36:36 am
Quote from: RedLady1991 on 16 January 2012, 09:43:50 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 16 January 2012, 07:13:54 pm
Oh, and this one -

'I like rimming, so if I cum see you, then I would expect that area to be nice and clean.'

What a flippin' cheek!!! :(

Yeah because you would turn up to an appointment with a dirty ring piece... *eyeroll*

LOL - from reading some of the reviews on PN, it seems that some ladies really don't know how to wash their bottoms!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: francesca_d2011 on 17 January 2012, 01:09:05 pm
Quote
From:    i**virgin81
Subject:    places?

hi do you do sexual activities only in bedroom?
     

My profile says 'please tell me a little about yourself in your email' ... hmm.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 17 January 2012, 08:38:49 pm
Idiot texter.

'If I pay ?300+ would you consider going no saddle.'

What the hell is wrong with people?  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RedLady1991 on 17 January 2012, 11:39:02 pm
"please can i rape you"

Got to be the most disgusting one, immediately put the phone down.

"do you like curry flavoured cock? i show you curry lollipop" ...  that one made me giggle!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: francesca_d2011 on 18 January 2012, 01:05:53 am
Quote from: RedLady1991
"do you like curry flavoured cock? i show you curry lollipop" ...  that one made me giggle!
Lol - tasty!!

Here's another silly idiot email I got after I replied & said I was free for bookings tomorrow afternoon:-

Quote
meet me tom around 5 30 fr half h , high heels killers stockings , etc .. just want to meet to for drink nothing else i love take it slowly but first i have to see you and talk about ideas for the next time .. is that ok with you??
 
I realise this guy wants to meet up for half hour outcall (which I don't do), for free - for a drink. To discuss 'next time'. haha.
Unfortunately there won't be a next time 'cause there won't even be a 'first time'. Muppet. :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 18 January 2012, 08:09:28 am
Quote from: francesca_d2011 on 18 January 2012, 01:05:53 am
I realise this guy wants to meet up for half hour outcall (which I don't do), for free - for a drink. To discuss 'next time'. haha.
Unfortunately there won't be a next time 'cause there won't even be a 'first time'. Muppet. :)

Why oh why do they do that?

Why would I want to meet you in a bar for a drink, when I could meet you in my bedroom for cash?  Men are so dumb sometimes!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 18 January 2012, 01:58:08 pm
text message from a number Ive never seen before: 'can i see you this after noon please' ...why why why do these people insist on breathing?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JennyJazz87 on 18 January 2012, 02:07:48 pm
A text I recieved this morning.

"Do you like excessive dribbling?"

 ??? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 18 January 2012, 02:17:02 pm
A phone call yesterday that went along these lines......

I'm a postgraduate student looking to arrange something regular......mutter mutter

I ask him to clarify but he wont so I say:
I see you mean you want an ongoing discount

Yes he says

to which I reply:
Absolutely not, I don't negotiate my fees. If you can't afford me please go elsewhere

Get a text late last night

Hi i m 25 n wud like to come n see u tonite for 2 hrs but i can pay 150 for 2hrs not more than that pls since im apoor student lol lemme know if possible thks

WTF not flipping likely - what was it cheapskate day or something!  Needless to say I didn't respond to this....




Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 18 January 2012, 05:34:47 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 18 January 2012, 02:17:02 pm
A phone call yesterday that went along these lines......

I'm a postgraduate student looking to arrange something regular......mutter mutter

I ask him to clarify but he wont so I say:
I see you mean you want an ongoing discount

Yes he says

to which I reply:
Absolutely not, I don't negotiate my fees. If you can't afford me please go elsewhere

Get a text late last night

Hi i m 25 n wud like to come n see u tonite for 2 hrs but i can pay 150 for 2hrs not more than that pls since im apoor student lol lemme know if possible thks

WTF not flipping likely - what was it cheapskate day or something!  Needless to say I didn't respond to this....

 ;D

As for the second one, why the fuck didn't he just book for ONE hour, which he could afford???? I don't understand idiots like this, they are worse than your 'average' haggler, they thrive on getting a 'deal',  MORE for LESS, even though they can afford an hour anyway. What more do they want?!

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Oriana on 18 January 2012, 05:55:27 pm
*Chepo* want a meeting in a car.
Which I don't do for the sake of my safety.

*Chepo* persists: Citizen, you could give me the chance .. You can not lose anything, but you can get a lot - a glorious time, time worth spending!
Oriana: Comrade, the only glorious time worth spending would be participating in a second chapter of French Revolution.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsummer on 18 January 2012, 06:54:15 pm
"do you like curry flavoured cock? i show you curry lollipop" Haha, this made me laugh, I had a Indian guy on Sunday who luckily didn't taste of curry, but he smelled it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nikki74 on 18 January 2012, 07:25:48 pm
hi girls, is it just me or does anybody else seem to only get wankers on a wednesday?
all ive had is TW's and divvy's asking questions that the answers to are on my profile
had a conversation with a bloke who wanted to book thought great wednesdays looking
up already,then he asks how much? where are you? and then says oh yr a bit far away
can u come to meet me half way so i said read the profiles 1st as i only do incalls,
drives me nuts then i had another asking if i had condoms,would i do bb and can he have
a discount if he onlyu has oral? give me strentgh lord really i am a good girl  ::) (mostly anyway)
please tell me its not just my bad luck on wednesdays,thinking of having wednesdays off from
now on.
hugs
nikki x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 18 January 2012, 07:55:16 pm
I just posted something similar in the cam section!! So no, it's not just you!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 18 January 2012, 08:17:19 pm
Quote from: Oriana on 18 January 2012, 05:55:27 pm
*Chepo* want a meeting in a car.
Which I don't do for the sake of my safety.

*Chepo* persists: Citizen, you could give me the chance .. You can not lose anything, but you can get a lot - a glorious time, time worth spending!
Oriana: Comrade, the only glorious time worth spending would be participating in a second chapter of French Revolution.

WTF??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RedLady1991 on 18 January 2012, 08:46:26 pm
Got this gem, just now:

"im Matt btw a 27 year old married cool alternative guy and I would really love to see you for a few hours. I'm looking for something special and I really hope you're up for it. I really want to have unprotected sex with you and cum deep inside your pussy, I know it's naughty but I'm 100% clean (have to be of the wife will find out) and happy to pay extra for this.

What do you think?

xx Matt"

So to wind him up a bit, i just replied "how much would you pay me?" (i have no intention of doing it, but he wastes my time, im going to waste his - im bored  ;D )

i got this in reply:
"?150 babe, im hot and youll love it"

Me:

"So you think, ?150 is worth me risking catching something from you? You have done bb with other escorts before, i checked your feedback. READ MY PROFILE WHERE IT STATES VERY CLEARLY THAT I DO *NOT* DO BAREBACK.

nice try, idiot."

He messaged me back saying "oh alright babe, ?200, you twisted my arm."

*RedLady hits block button*



He also seems to be offering services, as well as seeking them. ?50 an hour for a male escort?! Profile picture of his bits...lovely, not lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 19 January 2012, 02:38:58 am
Quote from: Mellow on 18 January 2012, 02:17:02 pm
I see you mean you want an ongoing discount
Yes he says
Oh I got a similiar one to this a few days ago.
"I'll be a regular, so you can give me a discount?"
"Yes certainly.  I charge ?x per hour, but I do a special discount rate for regulars.
First you need to see me three times at my regular rate, to ensure we are compatible  ::)
Then you can take up my special discount rate of ?y per session,
booked in blocks of ten
and block-paid for in advance"
Irony missed on him.
Though he still came along for a full price session.
(not holding my breath about the advance block booking)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 19 January 2012, 09:30:12 am
Quote from: JodieTs on 19 January 2012, 02:38:58 am
Quote from: Mellow on 18 January 2012, 02:17:02 pm
I see you mean you want an ongoing discount
Yes he says
Oh I got a similiar one to this a few days ago.
"I'll be a regular, so you can give me a discount?"
"Yes certainly.  I charge ?160 per hour, but I do a special discount rate for regulars.
First you need to see me three times at my regular rate, to ensure we are compatible  ::)
Then you can take up my special discount rate of ?100 per session,
booked in blocks of ten
and block-paid for in advance"
Irony missed on him.
Though he still came along for a full price session.
(not holding my breath about the advance block booking)

What an idiot  ::) Great answer Jodie!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 19 January 2012, 11:12:49 am
Text from random number; I'm from nowheretown, seen your profile on adultwork and wondered if you ever don't charge for sex as I'd like to shag you.

This is from memory and a little politer than the actual words.

My reply; I get plenty of sex from guys willing to pay thanks very much
Them; Ok how much for me to fuck you silly

Oh dear.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 19 January 2012, 12:25:06 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 19 January 2012, 09:30:12 am
Quote from: JodieTs on 19 January 2012, 02:38:58 am
Quote from: Mellow on 18 January 2012, 02:17:02 pm
I see you mean you want an ongoing discount
Yes he says
Oh I got a similiar one to this a few days ago.
"I'll be a regular, so you can give me a discount?"
"Yes certainly.  I charge ?160 per hour, but I do a special discount rate for regulars.
First you need to see me three times at my regular rate, to ensure we are compatible  ::)
Then you can take up my special discount rate of ?100 per session,
booked in blocks of ten
and block-paid for in advance"
Irony missed on him.
Though he still came along for a full price session.
(not holding my breath about the advance block booking)

What an idiot  ::) Great answer Jodie!

Sometimes I wonder about men.  They treat us like we're silly nilly's whereas they're actually quite dumb a lot of the time.

Do their IQ's go down when they're talking to us I wonder ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JennyJazz87 on 19 January 2012, 12:31:33 pm
Quote from: strawberry on 19 January 2012, 11:12:49 am
Text from random number; I'm from nowheretown, seen your profile on adultwork and wondered if you ever don't charge for sex as I'd like to shag you.

This is from memory and a little politer than the actual words.

My reply; I get plenty of sex from guys willing to pay thanks very much
Them; Ok how much for me to fuck you silly

Oh dear.



Oh I've heard of nowheretown, they have some nice hotels there
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 19 January 2012, 12:35:48 pm
Yep, men have to be the thicker species by far  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RedLady1991 on 19 January 2012, 01:05:16 pm
The curry cock man is back!

"You didn't message me back babe, why dont you want my brown korma cock in you?

 ;D its ones like this that make it worthwhile!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 19 January 2012, 03:48:54 pm
Yes now its Tosser Thursday.  All I've had all day is idiots and TWs and then my first W/O for ages.  I think I lowered my standards and let this tosser through the net. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 19 January 2012, 04:02:32 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 19 January 2012, 03:48:54 pm
Yes now its Tosser Thursday.  All I've had all day is idiots and TWs and then my first W/O for ages.  I think I lowered my standards and let this tosser through the net.

The idiots are out in force this week alright. I've cancelled two (one yesterday and one this morning) because neither could fathom my Extremely Complicated Confirmation System (consisting of 'ring me at 9am on the day so I know we're still on').

The first booked an outcall at Manchester Airport, a six hour round trip, and then couldn't understand what I meant by 'hotel booking reference number' and just sent me his name and room number (which I couldn't ring to speak to him as he was at work when I had to set off and not in the hotel), and the second who first texted on Tuesday morning claiming to have seen me last summer (although I have my doubts) and was supposed to be coming at 9.30 this morning.

I sent a 'confirm?' text out in desperation at ten past nine because he hadn't rung and I didn't know whether to get ready or not, he texted back to say 'on way' and when I told him he had to phone me like I asked because I didn't know who he was said he 'was guna ring for apartment number (which I don't give out at any time) when got there', so I told him to just fuck off home instead. Thank God I tour half the month and don't need the bloody money from the local numpties.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 19 January 2012, 04:10:31 pm
Yes I must admit the W/O sounded a bit odd on the phone but I figured he was nervous.  It sounds wierd but I have a strong feeling he did it on purpose.

This just shows what happens when I ignored a little voice inside me which was busy telling me when he was on the phone don't take the booking, don't take it

Ignore your intuition at your peril!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 19 January 2012, 04:19:12 pm
Quote from: EvaBeeva on 19 January 2012, 12:25:06 pm
Sometimes I wonder about men.  They treat us like we're silly nilly's whereas they're actually quite dumb a lot of the time.

Do their IQ's go down when they're talking to us I wonder ???
Actually, their williys fill up with blood, which directly drains from the conscious thought part of their brain (meebee)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 19 January 2012, 04:21:54 pm
Quote from: RedLady1991 on 19 January 2012, 01:05:16 pm
The curry cock man is back!

"You didn't message me back babe, why dont you want my brown korma cock in you?

 ;D its ones like this that make it worthwhile!

I can't stop giggling  :D Is this guy for real?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 19 January 2012, 04:51:31 pm
Gosh, I had some knob ring me this morning 'Can I be there in 20 minutes?'

3 hours later he was still telling me he couldn't set off as he couldn't find me on a Google map ::)

What did he need, my door number?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nikki74 on 19 January 2012, 04:58:55 pm
I had a booking today (yeah just the one :'() but what he said made me giggle
he said we should be a fuck buddies!!!!!!!!!!!!! when yr boyfriends not around
to fuck you i will be happy to come round???????????????
i said "thats a great idea but only if he could afford it"  ;D.

needless to say i bet i dont hear from him again lol such a shame  ;)

hugs nikki x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 19 January 2012, 05:00:56 pm
My 5pm is running late.  He'd better not be another TW  >:(

{Edit}  Yes he blooming cancelled!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 19 January 2012, 05:21:20 pm
OMG this is the worst freaking TWIDIOT and TWANKER day in forever!

Yet another guy obviously not reading my profile, asks if I do quickies ........no; thinks I do 30 mins for ?50.........aaaaaaaagh.  I refer him to my profile.........

He then decides I'm in the wrong place and too expensive.

I end the call by saying you really should read profiles properly before you ring girls
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetdelight on 19 January 2012, 06:49:00 pm
Oh yes ive had my day of Tools today.
Had one saying he could be to me in 10 mins(i dont do incalls)told him to read my profile.Then came back with how 30 mins.Bloody fool,bye bye.
Then another one can you be in Southport in about 45 mins(im in blackpool)..Yeah right im wonder woman.

Now this other one asked me if i did naked cleaning for him and his 2 mates for 30 quid(Charming)

Oh what will tomorrow bring,i cant wait.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 19 January 2012, 07:26:00 pm
Quote from: amy on 19 January 2012, 04:02:32 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 19 January 2012, 03:48:54 pm
Yes now its Tosser Thursday.  All I've had all day is idiots and TWs and then my first W/O for ages.  I think I lowered my standards and let this tosser through the net.

The idiots are out in force this week alright. I've cancelled two (one yesterday and one this morning) because neither could fathom my Extremely Complicated Confirmation System (consisting of 'ring me at 9am on the day so I know we're still on').

The first booked an outcall at Manchester Airport, a six hour round trip, and then couldn't understand what I meant by 'hotel booking reference number' and just sent me his name and room number (which I couldn't ring to speak to him as he was at work when I had to set off and not in the hotel), and the second who first texted on Tuesday morning claiming to have seen me last summer (although I have my doubts) and was supposed to be coming at 9.30 this morning.

I sent a 'confirm?' text out in desperation at ten past nine because he hadn't rung and I didn't know whether to get ready or not, he texted back to say 'on way' and when I told him he had to phone me like I asked because I didn't know who he was said he 'was guna ring for apartment number (which I don't give out at any time) when got there', so I told him to just fuck off home instead. Thank God I tour half the month and don't need the bloody money from the local numpties.

If I don't recognise someone, and arrangements are by text(or email) I specify confirmation must be by phonecall. On the day I have had guys still text, 50% of the time it is nerves or that it's inconvenient but as I explained to a newbie the other day - I don't know him from Adam, he is nervous but I also want to know he's genuine too. Luckily most guys are fine, but if someone wants to do things by text they must accept I will require voice contact at some point. Would they give out their address, after a just few text messages?

Also had a request to send a face pic, by text - shortly after a guy said he knew it was short notice, could I do x time and could I text him the address. All within 3 texts.

I declined.

Funny how it's always the method of contact you state you don't like, which is used to try and push for things. Doesn't make sense!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 19 January 2012, 09:05:07 pm
Well I keep 'No show' 'Timewasters' numbers in my phone for eternity and the number of that have called this week is unreal.  As I havent been working I dont usually answer my phone but i decided to answer these twats and challenge them about not showing.  The number that try to insist that they have never called me before is unreal ................. I soon let them know I know better.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 20 January 2012, 08:38:20 am
Found this in my inbox from last night.  For some reason this creeps me out........send him my address just like that, yeh right!  Must be a wind up.

hi I called you yesterday, but you decided not to meet yesterday, how about today just now? if yes, send me your address, and we can meet just now for couple of hours, if thats ok with you, and I won't be able to call you since I lost my phone yesterday, so you are going to have to provide me your address over here, let me know if we can see each other tonight thanks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RedLady1991 on 20 January 2012, 12:05:25 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 19 January 2012, 04:21:54 pm
Quote from: RedLady1991 on 19 January 2012, 01:05:16 pm
The curry cock man is back!

"You didn't message me back babe, why dont you want my brown korma cock in you?

 ;D its ones like this that make it worthwhile!

I can't stop giggling  :D Is this guy for real?

I think its a wind up, an amusing one though xD
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 20 January 2012, 01:29:21 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 20 January 2012, 08:38:20 am
Found this in my inbox from last night.  For some reason this creeps me out........send him my address just like that, yeh right!  Must be a wind up.

hi I called you yesterday, but you decided not to meet yesterday, how about today just now? if yes, send me your address, and we can meet just now for couple of hours, if thats ok with you, and I won't be able to call you since I lost my phone yesterday, so you are going to have to provide me your address over here, let me know if we can see each other tonight thanks


To be honest, I think you have to think carefully about your client's safety. After all, he hasn't been able to speak to you on the phone, and you could be a murderer for all he knows. Best send him your real name and 3 months bank statements as well  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amandasussex on 20 January 2012, 02:02:22 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 18 December 2011, 10:28:32 pm
I just had a very interesting one. A well-spoken man called and asked if he could buy my used condoms  :-\ I don't know if this is normal, but I'll admit to being intrigued. I said tht he was welcome to book an appointment and take the condom home with him afterwards, but he didn't seem keen. He wanted them used by other men, and suggested I dig through my bins and get them all out  :o Very odd...

yes i've just had this - he wants me to send him a regular supply which he will video himself drinking and then send me the film.    Love the fact that i can still be amazed by some people!
ps i'm also not doing it as I don't think its fair on the owners of the sperm! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amandasussex on 20 January 2012, 02:07:58 pm
OOoh - just had another email-

"10 for ?10 - but would you upload video of me driking them on your site, with my full name address and postcode and instructions for other girls watching video to post me theirs too?
xxx" :o


any takers? lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sapphireblue on 20 January 2012, 03:07:48 pm
hiya

guess he might want them to do the turkey baster thing - doesn't bear thinking about really! Or maybe my mind is just warped lol lol
Sapphire xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 20 January 2012, 03:45:38 pm
Quote from: MissThang on 20 January 2012, 01:29:21 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 20 January 2012, 08:38:20 am
Found this in my inbox from last night.  For some reason this creeps me out........send him my address just like that, yeh right!  Must be a wind up.

hi I called you yesterday, but you decided not to meet yesterday, how about today just now? if yes, send me your address, and we can meet just now for couple of hours, if thats ok with you, and I won't be able to call you since I lost my phone yesterday, so you are going to have to provide me your address over here, let me know if we can see each other tonight thanks


To be honest, I think you have to think carefully about your client's safety. After all, he hasn't been able to speak to you on the phone, and you could be a murderer for all he knows. Best send him your real name and 3 months bank statements as well  ;D ;D ;D


I'd best get my birth certificate and passport photocopied too

and tell him he can't be too careful

I couldve been on Crimewatch for all he knows  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarita on 20 January 2012, 05:06:30 pm
I got a lovely text last night. It simply said 'You on'.
Of course I was tempted to reply with 'on what?', but I couldn't be bothered to expend the energy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: clover on 20 January 2012, 05:17:52 pm
I've got a few texts from male escorts wanting to offer ME servces!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 20 January 2012, 07:17:13 pm
Quote from: clover on 20 January 2012, 05:17:52 pm
I've got a few texts from male escorts wanting to offer ME servces!

I've had this too, what the hell?!  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 20 January 2012, 07:39:59 pm
I think we have all had this a lot!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 20 January 2012, 09:53:43 pm
^Yep, I've had it recently.  Only the one.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 20 January 2012, 10:43:55 pm
I love the guys that go 'look at my profile, and let me know if you like what you see.' Idiots  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Redhead on 20 January 2012, 11:46:35 pm
I've had some belters over the last couple of weeks including one who kept emailing me on aw and asking whereabouts I'm based in my town (I live in a small town that it takes 20 minutes at the most to drive from one end to the other - I'm not giving my address!) despite him asking for my number, me giving it and telling him several times to call me if he wanted a booking.

So, tonight's gem including all abbrieviations.
text from him: Hi redhead r u workin tommoz baby x
Me: Call me if you want (text wasn't received until a couple of hours later and I was sleepy)
Him: U still in nantwich (My aw profile has no mention of Nantwich???)
Him: U call me no credit
Me: I've never been in Nantwich, I'm in *town*. Are you sure you've got the right girl? And it's up to you to call me (I was sleepy and couldn't be bothered going into it)
Him: Im after sum lady 2 give me good time babe tommoz am xx
Him: I tried sumone in nantwich never came back x (??? still doesn't explain how Nantwich comes into this)
Him: R u about tommoz am xx
Me: Are you near a computer?
Him: I was my sot  im in bed can u c me in morn xx
Him: My son got it i mean sorry x
H: any good 2 u text me your addy xx (!!!)
H: I wil b there xx
Me: If you're serious about booking me, call me or book me on aw. I will need to know what time tomorrow, incall or outcall, how long you'd like to book me for, and that you have fully read my profile.
H: Incall my name is *TW* and im defo on 4 seeing u in the morning i can only get on computer wen my family out and that not goin happen soon enough i defo cum tommoz early am xx u up 4 it xx
H: Im no timewaster tel me ad and time i b there promise u xx
H: Wife comin home shortly text me quickly baby xx
H: Omg wish id got a bit of credit only got texts baby sory xx
H: Im serious babe text me please xx
H: Or call me now i give u money 4 call tommoz xx
He then calls me from a witheld number, telling me it's his work phone. I tell him to read my profile and do what it says.
H: Wil u b available early am i wil get credit on my phone in morning and ring u wot time u availabl xx

So far, no more texts. I can only presume his wife came home  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 21 January 2012, 12:21:13 am
Quote from: Redhead on 20 January 2012, 11:46:35 pm
I've had some belters over the last couple of weeks including one who kept emailing me on aw and asking whereabouts I'm based in my town (I live in a small town that it takes 20 minutes at the most to drive from one end to the other - I'm not giving my address!) despite him asking for my number, me giving it and telling him several times to call me if he wanted a booking.

So, tonight's gem including all abbrieviations.
text from him: Hi redhead r u workin tommoz baby x
Me: Call me if you want (text wasn't received until a couple of hours later and I was sleepy)
Him: U still in nantwich (My aw profile has no mention of Nantwich???)
Him: U call me no credit
Me: I've never been in Nantwich, I'm in *town*. Are you sure you've got the right girl? And it's up to you to call me (I was sleepy and couldn't be bothered going into it)
Him: Im after sum lady 2 give me good time babe tommoz am xx
Him: I tried sumone in nantwich never came back x (??? still doesn't explain how Nantwich comes into this)
Him: R u about tommoz am xx
Me: Are you near a computer?
Him: I was my sot  im in bed can u c me in morn xx
Him: My son got it i mean sorry x
H: any good 2 u text me your addy xx (!!!)
H: I wil b there xx
Me: If you're serious about booking me, call me or book me on aw. I will need to know what time tomorrow, incall or outcall, how long you'd like to book me for, and that you have fully read my profile.
H: Incall my name is *TW* and im defo on 4 seeing u in the morning i can only get on computer wen my family out and that not goin happen soon enough i defo cum tommoz early am xx u up 4 it xx
H: Im no timewaster tel me ad and time i b there promise u xx
H: Wife comin home shortly text me quickly baby xx
H: Omg wish id got a bit of credit only got texts baby sory xx
H: Im serious babe text me please xx
H: Or call me now i give u money 4 call tommoz xx
He then calls me from a witheld number, telling me it's his work phone. I tell him to read my profile and do what it says.
H: Wil u b available early am i wil get credit on my phone in morning and ring u wot time u availabl xx

So far, no more texts. I can only presume his wife came home  :)


Oh my god! I'M exhausted!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Redhead on 21 January 2012, 12:41:12 am
I had this mental image of him sitting at home panicking, waiting desperately for the silly wg to text or call him with answers to all his inane texts before wife gets home
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 21 January 2012, 08:46:06 am
Quote from: Redhead on 20 January 2012, 11:46:35 pm
I've had some belters over the last couple of weeks including one who kept emailing me on aw and asking whereabouts I'm based in my town (I live in a small town that it takes 20 minutes at the most to drive from one end to the other - I'm not giving my address!) despite him asking for my number, me giving it and telling him several times to call me if he wanted a booking.

So, tonight's gem including all abbrieviations.
text from him: Hi redhead r u workin tommoz baby x
Me: Call me if you want (text wasn't received until a couple of hours later and I was sleepy)
Him: U still in nantwich (My aw profile has no mention of Nantwich???)
Him: U call me no credit
Me: I've never been in Nantwich, I'm in *town*. Are you sure you've got the right girl? And it's up to you to call me (I was sleepy and couldn't be bothered going into it)
Him: Im after sum lady 2 give me good time babe tommoz am xx
Him: I tried sumone in nantwich never came back x (??? still doesn't explain how Nantwich comes into this)
Him: R u about tommoz am xx
Me: Are you near a computer?
Him: I was my sot  im in bed can u c me in morn xx
Him: My son got it i mean sorry x
H: any good 2 u text me your addy xx (!!!)
H: I wil b there xx
Me: If you're serious about booking me, call me or book me on aw. I will need to know what time tomorrow, incall or outcall, how long you'd like to book me for, and that you have fully read my profile.
H: Incall my name is *TW* and im defo on 4 seeing u in the morning i can only get on computer wen my family out and that not goin happen soon enough i defo cum tommoz early am xx u up 4 it xx
H: Im no timewaster tel me ad and time i b there promise u xx
H: Wife comin home shortly text me quickly baby xx
H: Omg wish id got a bit of credit only got texts baby sory xx
H: Im serious babe text me please xx
H: Or call me now i give u money 4 call tommoz xx
He then calls me from a witheld number, telling me it's his work phone. I tell him to read my profile and do what it says.
H: Wil u b available early am i wil get credit on my phone in morning and ring u wot time u availabl xx

So far, no more texts. I can only presume his wife came home  :)

If the first mention of Nantwich was by text I would have ignored it.  If it was by an actual call, I would have just said I am not in Nantwich, you obviously have no idea of who I am am, and hung up.

If they don't make a normal booking first up they never will.  It just serves to encourage them to bug you, see the rest of the message.  The initial text speak was the clue.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 21 January 2012, 11:10:34 am
Woke up to this gem in my AW inbox -

'How do I know I won't catch a disease off anybody on this site?'

Ummm :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 21 January 2012, 02:58:33 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 21 January 2012, 11:10:34 am
Woke up to this gem in my AW inbox -

'How do I know I won't catch a disease off anybody on this site?'

Ummm :-\

"You don't know. Next stupid question...?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pearl on 21 January 2012, 03:13:03 pm
Quote from: RedLady1991 on 17 January 2012, 11:39:02 pm
"please can i rape you"

Got to be the most disgusting one, immediately put the phone down.

"do you like curry flavoured cock? i show you curry lollipop" ...  that one made me giggle!

Personally I think that these guys did not want an appointment, even the stupidest man would know that this is not the right way to speak to a girl... however everything is possible because the stupidity has not limits..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 23 January 2012, 11:36:19 am
So my first contact of the week I get a text .......

Hey babe, any chance of a hlf hour booking for sixty?

*****big yawn*****

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RedLady1991 on 23 January 2012, 11:51:20 am
Quote from: Mellow on 23 January 2012, 11:36:19 am
So my first contact of the week I get a text .......

Hey babe, any chance of a hlf hour booking for sixty?

*****big yawn*****

I see nothing wrong with this but only because that is (albeit the lower end) or what I do charge for 30 mins. Suppose it depends where youre based and stuff as to hourly rate.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 23 January 2012, 11:59:26 am
Quote from: RedLady1991 on 23 January 2012, 11:51:20 am
Quote from: Mellow on 23 January 2012, 11:36:19 am
So my first contact of the week I get a text .......

Hey babe, any chance of a hlf hour booking for sixty?

*****big yawn*****

I see nothing wrong with this but only because that is (albeit the lower end) or what I do charge for 30 mins. Suppose it depends where youre based and stuff as to hourly rate.


Its the fact that this guy is trying to negotiate my rates that I resent Red, its well under the price for my 30 minute rate, and this guy knows it!!  My rates are clearly on all my profiles and I get this all the time

For some guys it wouldn't matter how low the price they will still try and bargain you down.

I never ever let guys set my rates!


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 23 January 2012, 12:47:55 pm
I get this from regulars and even people who have visited before (but not regs) all the time - stuff along the lines of -

"so how much will it be for that?" on email/phone...

my reply - "well the same as it was last time, the rate on profile/ad"

"oh... well I'll just leave it then"

The thing that annoys me most is that they know the rate, get they go to all the trouble of wasting my time chatting and making a booking (ok only 2 mins but still) only to chance their luck...

I don't take kindly to anyone who does this. Got one this morning from a slightly antisocial guy I'd seen before - 'the one with the dirty fingernails'  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 23 January 2012, 01:12:53 pm
If you charged a quid an hour, they'd try for 50p  ;D

I think it's a combination of straight-forward haggling and wanting to be 'special', with their 'special discount' that none of the others get.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 23 January 2012, 01:16:13 pm
Quote from: MissThang on 23 January 2012, 01:12:53 pm
If you charged a quid an hour, they'd try for 50p  ;D

I think it's a combination of straight-forward haggling and wanting to be 'special', with their 'special discount' that none of the others get.

Haha spot on MissT  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 23 January 2012, 04:45:36 pm
Moron Mondays anyone?

So slow day only broken by TWs and a cancelled appointment.  Then I get a call, seems usual enough at first then the guy says:

Do you see couples and do you mind who she is in relation to me?

So I say I'd need to speak to hear to ensure everything was ok with her.  He's very reluctant to say who it was, I have to drag it out of him and finally he says'

Its my aunt

So my first instinct was..........fantasist so I told him that he was a fantasist and a TW, he denied it (well I guess he may not have been) and I ended by saying in anycase even if it was for real I wouldn't be comfortable with it.

Aaaaaaagh I give up on today.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RedLady1991 on 23 January 2012, 05:03:46 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 23 January 2012, 04:45:36 pm
Its my aunt

Gross!!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Oriana on 23 January 2012, 05:19:47 pm
Quote from: MissThang on 23 January 2012, 01:12:53 pm
If you charged a quid an hour, they'd try for 50p  ;D

I think it's a combination of straight-forward haggling and wanting to be 'special', with their 'special discount' that none of the others get.

Exactly! And if you charged 50p, they would want it for FREE!  >:(

The most annoying, pathetic, persistent hagglers are those who have more than enough money to pay. Guy saved in my phone as "Orangutan" tried to lower my rate for 10 ? but had enough in his wallet to pay 2 an a half overnights. 

No C.R.E.A.M. (Cash Rules Everything Around Me), no cum!  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RedLady1991 on 23 January 2012, 05:22:08 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 23 January 2012, 11:59:26 am
Quote from: RedLady1991 on 23 January 2012, 11:51:20 am
Quote from: Mellow on 23 January 2012, 11:36:19 am
So my first contact of the week I get a text .......

Hey babe, any chance of a hlf hour booking for sixty?

*****big yawn*****

I see nothing wrong with this but only because that is (albeit the lower end) or what I do charge for 30 mins. Suppose it depends where youre based and stuff as to hourly rate.


Its the fact that this guy is trying to negotiate my rates that I resent Red, its well under the price for my 30 minute rate, and this guy knows it!!  My rates are clearly on all my profiles and I get this all the time

For some guys it wouldn't matter how low the price they will still try and bargain you down.

I never ever let guys set my rates!

Fair enough, i hate it when blokes do that.

I've also had an increase of half hour bookings. I charge more for the further away they are, in the hope theyll just pay an extra ?30-40 and have me for the hour .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 23 January 2012, 08:40:13 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 23 January 2012, 04:45:36 pm
Moron Mondays anyone?

So slow day only broken by TWs and a cancelled appointment.  Then I get a call, seems usual enough at first then the guy says:

Do you see couples and do you mind who she is in relation to me?

So I say I'd need to speak to hear to ensure everything was ok with her.  He's very reluctant to say who it was, I have to drag it out of him and finally he says'

Its my aunt

So my first instinct was..........fantasist so I told him that he was a fantasist and a TW, he denied it (well I guess he may not have been) and I ended by saying in anycase even if it was for real I wouldn't be comfortable with it.

Aaaaaaagh I give up on today.

I've had this one. The "aunt" fantasy guy. He is real and goes on webcams all the time and also sends emails. never met him in person ,because his requests are just  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 23 January 2012, 08:54:52 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 23 January 2012, 08:40:13 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 23 January 2012, 04:45:36 pm
Moron Mondays anyone?

So slow day only broken by TWs and a cancelled appointment.  Then I get a call, seems usual enough at first then the guy says:

Do you see couples and do you mind who she is in relation to me?

So I say I'd need to speak to hear to ensure everything was ok with her.  He's very reluctant to say who it was, I have to drag it out of him and finally he says'

Its my aunt

So my first instinct was..........fantasist so I told him that he was a fantasist and a TW, he denied it (well I guess he may not have been) and I ended by saying in anycase even if it was for real I wouldn't be comfortable with it.

Aaaaaaagh I give up on today.

I've had this one. The "aunt" fantasy guy. He is real and goes on webcams all the time and also sends emails. never met him in person ,because his requests are just  :-X

Is this the same person who asked for a booking with me last week and enquired as to whether or not I could dress up as someone's Aunty?

I told him I am an Aunty, so I could just dress as me. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 23 January 2012, 09:31:13 pm
Quote from: strawberry on 23 January 2012, 08:54:52 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 23 January 2012, 08:40:13 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 23 January 2012, 04:45:36 pm
Moron Mondays anyone?

So slow day only broken by TWs and a cancelled appointment.  Then I get a call, seems usual enough at first then the guy says:

Do you see couples and do you mind who she is in relation to me?

So I say I'd need to speak to hear to ensure everything was ok with her.  He's very reluctant to say who it was, I have to drag it out of him and finally he says'

Its my aunt

So my first instinct was..........fantasist so I told him that he was a fantasist and a TW, he denied it (well I guess he may not have been) and I ended by saying in anycase even if it was for real I wouldn't be comfortable with it.

Aaaaaaagh I give up on today.

I've had this one. The "aunt" fantasy guy. He is real and goes on webcams all the time and also sends emails. never met him in person ,because his requests are just  :-X

Is this the same person who asked for a booking with me last week and enquired as to whether or not I could dress up as someone's Aunty?

I told him I am an Aunty, so I could just dress as me. ;D


Ooh you know what, I beleive I may have had him on Cam a while ago (very briefly before I said no!). 

Lol Strawberry I wish I could've thought to say that!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: blondieMK on 24 January 2012, 01:05:18 pm
Grrr. Twirpy tuesdays! Second client of the day and im already infuriated. Why do these douche bags make and appointment the text at the time of their supposed arrival saying they are going to be 20 minutes late. If I had clients coming out of my ears I'd tell them where they can poke it. Uh I hate Tuesdays  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RedLady1991 on 24 January 2012, 01:30:34 pm
Just had a weirdest and sweetest (kind of) phone call from a potential client just now.

Was enquiring as to whether i would do OWO even though he's impotent. apparently he can still cum, but not get it up. Then he went on to ask me if i had seen any black clients before...basically his wife left him for a black man and on her way out the door she told him that black mens cocks are so much bigger than white mens  ::) he asked me if it was true, and i told him it wasnt.

He called me "darling" alot and was worried about his age (hes 48) so again i reassured him. Got the vibe hes very nervous, and i kind of felt sorry for him a little bit
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 24 January 2012, 01:39:13 pm
I think I would defo call your call 'weird' but not 'sweet' ................ more fantasist.

Red Flags there for me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 24 January 2012, 01:44:29 pm
Quote from: RedLady1991 on 24 January 2012, 01:30:34 pm
Just had a weirdest and sweetest (kind of) phone call from a potential client just now.

Was enquiring as to whether i would do OWO even though he's impotent. apparently he can still cum, but not get it up. Then he went on to ask me if i had seen any black clients before...basically his wife left him for a black man and on her way out the door she told him that black mens cocks are so much bigger than white mens  ::) he asked me if it was true, and i told him it wasnt.

He called me "darling" alot and was worried about his age (hes 48) so again i reassured him. Got the vibe hes very nervous, and i kind of felt sorry for him a little bit

There's a blast from the past alright. Does this (http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=1287.0) sound like him, perchance? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 24 January 2012, 01:50:02 pm
Quote from: amy on 24 January 2012, 01:44:29 pm
Quote from: RedLady1991 on 24 January 2012, 01:30:34 pm
Just had a weirdest and sweetest (kind of) phone call from a potential client just now.

Was enquiring as to whether i would do OWO even though he's impotent. apparently he can still cum, but not get it up. Then he went on to ask me if i had seen any black clients before...basically his wife left him for a black man and on her way out the door she told him that black mens cocks are so much bigger than white mens  ::) he asked me if it was true, and i told him it wasnt.

He called me "darling" alot and was worried about his age (hes 48) so again i reassured him. Got the vibe hes very nervous, and i kind of felt sorry for him a little bit

This has to be the guy we all know and love, if it is he'll phone many times for 'reassurance'.

There's a blast from the past alright. Does this (http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=1287.0) sound like him, perchance? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RedLady1991 on 24 January 2012, 02:12:29 pm
Yes, it was him lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 24 January 2012, 02:17:48 pm
Quote from: RedLady1991 on 24 January 2012, 02:12:29 pm
Yes, it was him lol.

Bless. I recognised it as soon as I saw your post, and I don't think I've ever even spoken to him ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RedLady1991 on 24 January 2012, 02:32:35 pm
Hes really sweet and softly spoken, bit stuttery...kept calling me darling etc. Still feel sorry for him lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 24 January 2012, 02:42:21 pm
Quote from: RedLady1991 on 24 January 2012, 02:32:35 pm
Hes really sweet and softly spoken, bit stuttery...kept calling me darling etc. Still feel sorry for him lol

Feeling sorry for him.  He is probably feeding you a pack of lies.  The stutter is probably a ploy to keep you on phone longer while he is wanking.  :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 25 January 2012, 10:24:08 am
Quote from: Mellow on 23 January 2012, 09:31:13 pm
Quote from: strawberry on 23 January 2012, 08:54:52 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 23 January 2012, 08:40:13 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 23 January 2012, 04:45:36 pm
Moron Mondays anyone?

So slow day only broken by TWs and a cancelled appointment.  Then I get a call, seems usual enough at first then the guy says:

Do you see couples and do you mind who she is in relation to me?

So I say I'd need to speak to hear to ensure everything was ok with her.  He's very reluctant to say who it was, I have to drag it out of him and finally he says'

Its my aunt

So my first instinct was..........fantasist so I told him that he was a fantasist and a TW, he denied it (well I guess he may not have been) and I ended by saying in anycase even if it was for real I wouldn't be comfortable with it.

Aaaaaaagh I give up on today.

I've had this one. The "aunt" fantasy guy. He is real and goes on webcams all the time and also sends emails. never met him in person ,because his requests are just  :-X

Is this the same person who asked for a booking with me last week and enquired as to whether or not I could dress up as someone's Aunty?

I told him I am an Aunty, so I could just dress as me. ;D


Ooh you know what, I beleive I may have had him on Cam a while ago (very briefly before I said no!). 

Lol Strawberry I wish I could've thought to say that!

yes, "homosapienntimacy" !! Always pops in and tries to prompt me and I just answer him back "naiively" or honestly, but I refuse to bite for his free dirtychat!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsummer on 25 January 2012, 04:03:21 pm
I just had a TW calling me from the states, it was a Texas number. He asked all kinds of questions and I kept referring him to my profile where everything is stated. I then asked if he was planning on visiting the UK sometime soon and he said no, but did I do phonesex...?  ::) I told him to call me if he ever decided to come to London and hung up! Why not at least TW call someone in your own country?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 25 January 2012, 05:25:36 pm
Quote from: RedLady1991 on 24 January 2012, 01:30:34 pm
Just had a weirdest and sweetest (kind of) phone call from a potential client just now.

Was enquiring as to whether i would do OWO even though he's impotent. apparently he can still cum, but not get it up. Then he went on to ask me if i had seen any black clients before...basically his wife left him for a black man and on her way out the door she told him that black mens cocks are so much bigger than white mens  ::) he asked me if it was true, and i told him it wasnt.

He called me "darling" alot and was worried about his age (hes 48) so again i reassured him. Got the vibe hes very nervous, and i kind of felt sorry for him a little bit

Fantasist.
Tell him to fuck right off.
(Today onwards I have decided to be very abusive and agressive to any timewaster)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 25 January 2012, 06:44:40 pm
[suspicious]N.s 04/9/09 appears on my phone.
A massive fantasist timewaster fantasist.
I start to swear and be totally 'Off my face' abusive - a whole lot.
I proceed to give him a lot of ABUSE. I ask why would he want to
see me when there are nice escorts out there.
He is taken aback, so I start again, shouting at him.
I stop and put a polite calm voice on and say:
Oh I'm sorry, is this a five minute abuse, or the full half hour?
See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQFKtI6gn9Y
He sounds confused and says "Half hour?"
So I carry on with the abuse, finishing with:
"And don't phone me again"
He replies "Sorry"
So I say "Tosser" and hang up.

That was so gooooood.
I say bad things when I have an audience. This time two escort
friends in my lounge, their jaws agape in shock!
{Though they were in hysterics by the end}
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 25 January 2012, 07:38:51 pm
-
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: blondieMK on 25 January 2012, 09:51:55 pm
Quote from: RedLady1991 on 24 January 2012, 01:30:34 pm
Just had a weirdest and sweetest (kind of) phone call from a potential client just now.

Was enquiring as to whether i would do OWO even though he's impotent. apparently he can still cum, but not get it up. Then he went on to ask me if i had seen any black clients before...basically his wife left him for a black man and on her way out the door she told him that black mens cocks are so much bigger than white mens  ::) he asked me if it was true, and i told him it wasnt.

He called me "darling" alot and was worried about his age (hes 48) so again i reassured him. Got the vibe hes very nervous, and i kind of felt sorry for him a little bit

This guy calls me at least once a week >.<
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverbird on 25 January 2012, 11:47:33 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 25 January 2012, 06:44:40 pm
[suspicious]N.s Gent 04/9/09 appears on my phone.
I answer while checking for the index card.
Gent's card says: - Massive fantasist timewaster fantasist. A number of no show bookings and a clearly attempted outcall to a fake address.
I log everything and everyone. Thousands of cards. Clients, timewasters, no shows, threats, Penis STI clients with full descriptions of their fraked up genitalia, abduction/robbery attempts {twice, long time ago}, Any call which is dodgy on any level. Any call which is other than just a general enquiry. All date indexed. Reading this back, I come across as unstable & stalky like...so at least that's accurate...   :P

"Hello, I saw you on RXXX"
I start to swear and be totally 'Off my face' abusive - a whole lot. I proceed to give him a lot of ABUSE and AGGRESSION.
{totally unstable, not him, me!}
Then I told him that I like Slovakians but that I hate him.
And why would he want to see me when there are nice escorts out there.
He is taken aback, so I start again, shouting at him.
I stop and put a polite calm voice on and say: Oh I'm sorry, is this a five minute abuse, or the full half hour?
See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQFKtI6gn9Y
He sounds confused and says "Half hour?"
So I carry on with the abuse, finishing with:
"And don't phone me again"
He replies "Sorry"
So I say "Tosser" and hang up.

That was so gooooood.
I say bad things when I have an audience. This time two escort friends in my lounge, their jaws agape in shock! {Though they were in hysterics by the end}

Worth not copying: This sort of thing, too many times, will eventually catch the wrong caller
& result in a violent shortening of one's life.
Who cares? I want out, anyway.[/suspicious]
You made a bold statement just there friend. A bad memory is all that it was?
W.x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 26 January 2012, 12:23:18 am
That has just made me wish I kept cards..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 26 January 2012, 02:11:28 am
Quote from: EvaBeeva on 26 January 2012, 12:23:18 am
That has just made me wish I kept cards..

I save all the numbers in my Blackberry and then notes or code depending on who it is. If someone calls me who has rung before I know before I answer who it is, whether I've met them, whether they book and cancel, if they have terrible english, are obviously having a wank etc. If I've seen them then I put the date of their last booking and how long they stayed for too. Its amazing what you can fit into just a few characters and its enough to give me a heads up on whether I want to answer and how to handle them. It also lets me filter out anyone I save as a TW and also to tie up phone numbers and emails which is handy when people swap about how they choose to contact me.

The codes kind of look like this:
Andy nice, oldr, hj no f. 07/11 1 - Nice older chap who likes a hand job only and I last saw in November for 1 hour
Tom, tll, asi, frantic kiss 16/12 2 - Tom who is tall and Asian and kisses like a suction pump on double speed. Saw in Dec for 2 hrs
John flake tk dep 26/11 1 - Bloke who books and cancels a lot but is fine when he actually shows so if he calls, take a deposit
Tony sub fs 03/12 1 - A sub who likes face sitting

Anyone I've seen and liked gets a * and there's even a few who get ** - but if my OH ever asks why I'm going to have to make up something because they're the ones who are REALLY good. Sssssh though, thats secret! :)

R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 26 January 2012, 06:37:22 pm
Got this text at 6.30 tonight

Hi, just about to board my flight, are you near the holiday inn at the airport? Or would you possibly met me there? Sorry for the text but i'm at the check in gate so not the most private place to make a call. This would be for tonight

Yeh sure I'll just drop everything on the strength of one text!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 28 January 2012, 03:17:35 pm
Stupid Saturdays  >:(

Sometimes it seems putting up AT is an invitation to a vast increase in idiots and TWs.  Stupidly I let it get to me today.  The last straw came when a guy asked was the squirting guaranteed and I said well it almost always happens, look at my feedback if in doubt.

Because I couldn't give a case iron guarantee he backed out.  I stupidly then texted him to say that wasn't the approach to take, that I wasn't a mashine and engaged in a brief round  of 'text wars'. All very polite from me I might add but stupid yes, I normally stop myself from reacting like this!

<<slaps self on wrist
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 28 January 2012, 06:18:05 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 28 January 2012, 03:17:35 pm
Stupid Saturdays  >:(

Sometimes it seems putting up AT is an invitation to a vast increase in idiots and TWs.  Stupidly I let it get to me today.  The last straw came when a guy asked was the squirting guaranteed and I said well it almost always happens, look at my feedback if in doubt.

Because I couldn't give a case iron guarantee he backed out.  I stupidly then texted him to say that wasn't the approach to take, that I wasn't a mashine and engaged in a brief round  of 'text wars'. All very polite from me I might add but stupid yes, I normally stop myself from reacting like this!

<<slaps self on wrist

Sometimes it's just so hard not to though isn't it? I don't usually reply to tw(ats), but sometimes it gets the better of me! But sometimes i think it's good to point out what dick heads they are being...you never know it might sink in!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 28 January 2012, 06:37:37 pm
Quote from: Coty on 28 January 2012, 06:18:05 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 28 January 2012, 03:17:35 pm
Stupid Saturdays  >:(

Sometimes it seems putting up AT is an invitation to a vast increase in idiots and TWs.  Stupidly I let it get to me today.  The last straw came when a guy asked was the squirting guaranteed and I said well it almost always happens, look at my feedback if in doubt.

Because I couldn't give a case iron guarantee he backed out.  I stupidly then texted him to say that wasn't the approach to take, that I wasn't a mashine and engaged in a brief round  of 'text wars'. All very polite from me I might add but stupid yes, I normally stop myself from reacting like this!

<<slaps self on wrist

Sometimes it's just so hard not to though isn't it? I don't usually reply to tw(ats), but sometimes it gets the better of me! But sometimes i think it's good to point out what dick heads they are being...you never know it might sink in!

Yes that was my (probably vain) hope too  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 30 January 2012, 09:38:24 pm
I hada very odd client call today, who asked if I engage in roleplay. I asked what the roleplay was, and he said he wanted me to castrate him  :-\ ummm
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverbird on 30 January 2012, 10:30:28 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 30 January 2012, 09:38:24 pm
I hada very odd client call today, who asked if I engage in roleplay. I asked what the roleplay was, and he said he wanted me to castrate him  :-\ ummm
I've watched a few horse castrations over the years, it looks pretty straightforward really... A little whiff of anaesthesia, a couple of strong stable hands and a HUGE pair of castration forceps... If he insists on the procedure, charge him 'vet's rates...  ;D
W.x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 31 January 2012, 01:24:40 am
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 30 January 2012, 09:38:24 pm
I hada very odd client call today, who asked if I engage in roleplay. I asked what the roleplay was, and he said he wanted me to castrate him  :-\ ummm

This sounds very familiar to me... If it is who I'm thinking of he's a complete TW and fantasist with Escorts but apparently a big, regular spender on phone sex lines.
R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 31 January 2012, 04:29:30 pm
Quote from: wileycoyote on 30 January 2012, 10:30:28 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 30 January 2012, 09:38:24 pm
I hada very odd client call today, who asked if I engage in roleplay. I asked what the roleplay was, and he said he wanted me to castrate him  :-\ ummm
I've watched a few horse castrations over the years, it looks pretty straightforward really... A little whiff of anaesthesia, a couple of strong stable hands and a HUGE pair of castration forceps... If he insists on the procedure, charge him 'vet's rates...  ;D
W.x

Oh that made me giggle  :-*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 31 January 2012, 07:04:22 pm
Im parked up in my lorry near the police station would you come and have some fun with me later ??? I have a bed in my lorry and curtains so no one will know lol xxxx

What an invitation... shall I bring my own rope and shovel!!  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 31 January 2012, 08:28:47 pm
hi i like ur profile and wated to book a session with u if u have time soo can u do watersports and do u any extra charge for that of include in 160 n hour and i like footfetish have u got lots of heels and fetish stuff can u do strap on on me plzz reply me and last think can i take ur piss with in in a bottle if u allow this and did u charge any extra for that or not soo is dat all ervices in 160 n h hour is dat is dat ok or not plzz i am waiting thanx bye
 

 :FF  :FF  :FF

Brings a whole new meaning to a 'Bring a bottle' party....
R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Keene on 31 January 2012, 10:18:38 pm
HI all.

Having  a few issues with my blinking website, so my "launch date" is pushed back a few days.  GRRRR.

Have placed a classified where I can (no website makes it hard to get decent advertising), but even with that limited amount of exposure, I've already attracted the nutters, fantasists and creeps! 

So far, I've had someone want to play with me during my period, someone make an enquiry about a whole weekend appointment, another wanting an instant booking (my ad says 2 hour notice period minimum) and someone pretending to be a 15 year old virgin boy in my area who's willing to pay my rates!

FFS!  They must think I must have "idiot" tatooed on my forehead"!  (Got that removed with the divorce!)

Needless to say, the whole sorry lot of em were off AW!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 31 January 2012, 11:52:12 pm
Quote from: sarahbelle on 31 January 2012, 07:04:22 pm
What an invitation... shall I bring my own rope and shovel!!  >:(

This made me smile! I read an article yesterday on t'interwebz that said it's quite common for HGV drivers to get calls to their lorry, I was highly sceptical...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 01 February 2012, 08:10:23 am
The most interesting thing about this were the spelling and grammatical errors.........

hello how are you good i hope i'm stuart from scotland i see you like modeling as it says on you're profile & as i'm a ameture photographer i was wondering if you would be interested in modeling for me for pictures to add to you're profile i'm sure you have some out-fite that are sexy & you would like to add to you're profile i'm in you're area a few times aweek so it would be great to meet up if you are interested i take none of the pictures away with me so you have no worry about them falling in to the wrong hands you keep them all i down load them to you're computer & delete them from the memory card if interested can you give me a price xxxxxxxxx thanks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littlepeanut on 01 February 2012, 11:14:04 am
Got this the other day....

I'm a bloke. Not a typical one mind. But alas a bloke... A single and rarely free and going without bloke! :)

I'm free as soon as really. Would like to send you a face pic and tattoo pic if you want, but wanna try with someone who kinda looks at me and goes... "yeah.. Your fit so itllmake it even better for us"
Waffle over.. Soon as basically as you sound and look fab yoooooooo luss :) xx

I replied saying that I don't need photos and looks make no difference to the service I provide. I got this back....

Ok, Well on a purely vibe and personality level then... It's not really working is it.

 :D lol no it's not working mate
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littlepeanut on 01 February 2012, 01:53:59 pm
luv can I ask u a thing???xxx

 ??? Can't wait to hear what he wants to ask
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littlepeanut on 01 February 2012, 03:09:57 pm
And here it is......

I require your remarks/opinion , as you are an escort, a mature women and also well experienced which makes you most suitable for providing a remark/opinion.

I?ve a small penis syndrome, it is exceptionally tiny. It would be a great favor on me if you could kindly view the pics of my general area in my profile, the pics are of ERECTED penis, and then if you kindly could make your HONEST and TRUE remarks. I?m specifically concerned with penetrative sex and how the women feels doing it with me. So while making remarks assume if YOU are doing it, whether would you feel penis inside u, feel it touching the right places in vagina, feel it humping in vagina OR wont feel it inside u. As most say sex is all about clit stimulation, but as per the info I?ve gathered over net, it says penetration is also equally pleasurable for women when her vaginal walls are rubbed by penis as she has most nerve endings in vagina AND also that she also enjoys the penis cumming inside her. So in brief if you kindly tell as to what would you feel.

Your remarks will help me a lot, as to generally understand my potential and as well as to what extend a women would get pleasured with my penis size, to what extend would she get turned off. So please be honest, no matter how harsh you think your remark is.

Much much thanks for your time and for sincere and honest remarks. Love xxx
 
I have a feeling that many of you ladies have heard from him too!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 01 February 2012, 03:15:08 pm
Oh yes that looks strangely familiar!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wendyanne on 01 February 2012, 03:55:11 pm
yes had that one to day and to be honest had a few days of tw and twerps so wasnt in best of moods so i may have suggested he buy a strap on

oppppppps
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 01 February 2012, 03:59:20 pm
Quote from: wendyanne on 01 February 2012, 03:55:11 pm
yes had that one to day and to be honest had a few days of tw and twerps so wasnt in best of moods so i may have suggested he buy a strap on

oppppppps

Haha that cracked me up  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 02 February 2012, 12:45:11 am
Definitely familiar!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 02 February 2012, 01:47:38 pm
This sounds like the guy that I have recently blocked and was going to put a warning up about.  He has an incredibly small penis that is too small to have sex with.  I told him I would happily have an oral booking with him but will not offer sex he then replied its ok as he would just keep trying to force it in during the booking anyway even though I had said no sex.  If it is the same guy he sounds as if he has no clue about boundaries and will just force (his words) his way into you regardless of whether you agree  Username on AW Adam... And Lord424.  One to avoid I think
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: duskymaiden on 02 February 2012, 02:35:40 pm
Hi foliks, if this isn't the work of a fantasist then I don't know what is.  Just wondering if any other ladies in the East mids have had the pleasure of reading this ridiculous email, lol?  :o :o



Hi, how are you today?
 
Being honest with you I am a little nervous as I write this email to you, I have not had the best of luck with girls lately so I thought I'd contact you to see if you fancied meeting up for some fun?
 
To be honest with you a girl in boots really turns me on :) so my idea would be to meet you wearing a sexy short skirt and some boots, and maybe allow me to take you shopping and buy you a new pair. Then I can watch you in a few shops taking off the boots you arrive in and trying on a few other pairs before choosing which you'd like, followed by a nice lunch somewhere?
 
I also have a fantasy, you may find strange, but what the hell, here goes, I drive a white 2010 BMW 330i, after lunch, I'd like to drive to my friends farm, and then let you drive my car. My idea would be for you to drive us out into one of his many fields away from it all and get my BMW stuck in the mud, while I watch?
 
Yes this may well be a strange request, but the thought of watching you in a short skirt and boots, in the drivers seat of my BMW, pushing the accelerator hard, switching gears, making the rear wheels spin like crazy in the mud while you try to get it unstuck would be a huge turn on :) What do you think? Is this too weird for you?
 
Could I ask you what car you drove yourself? Have you ever gotten stuck in the mud or snow before?
 
If you were worried how we'd get the car free again, do not worry, my friend would pull us out with is tractor, you could even have a go if you wanted too?
 
So it ws nice to meet you, I look forward to your response, and I can how relax a little more and await your reply.
 
Many thanks,
 
Lee


Also the 1st line of the second paragraph leads one to believe that he'll be turning up in a short skirt and heels, pmsl by the way he's worded it.

Perhaps I should just reply and say, sorry pal but I don't drive, lol ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 02 February 2012, 02:38:15 pm
What a fool :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: duskymaiden on 02 February 2012, 04:29:17 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 02 February 2012, 02:38:15 pm
What a fool :-\
for sure.  I wonder if he really has a farmer friend and is just a rich, bored guy that has nothing better to do than send emails like that hoping some green escort lady is going to help him fuel/get off on his fantasy...hmmm  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 02 February 2012, 04:35:56 pm
Tell him I'll do it but only if I get to keep the car afterwards...! :D
R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 02 February 2012, 04:53:22 pm
Quote from: Rooby on 02 February 2012, 04:35:56 pm
Tell him I'll do it but only if I get to keep the car afterwards...! :D
R xx


Hahahahaha!! Genius!! With pink slip-- do they call them that, here??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: duskymaiden on 02 February 2012, 07:38:27 pm
Quote from: Rooby on 02 February 2012, 04:35:56 pm
Tell him I'll do it but only if I get to keep the car afterwards...! :D
R xx

Lol, girls...this sounds the sort of booking that Billy Piper would get in 'Secret diary of a call girl' I may just challenge/houmour the gentleman by replying and asking to call me if he indeed is a genuine client and see if I get a reply ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverbird on 02 February 2012, 08:07:27 pm
Tell him you'll meet him half way regarding his desires. You bring your friend (she will entertain farmer, who is waiting in the wings)... then if the car gets stuck in the mud, she can help tow it out...after all she IS number 1 in the female WWE Championships ;D

W.x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 02 February 2012, 08:25:40 pm
Guy mailed me on AW offering me ?30,000 if I could find him a slurry pit to jump into. He appeared very serious said he'd give it to me in cash!!!I advised him that would be a massive security risk, and not one I'd be willing to take and refered him to Farmers Weekly.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverbird on 02 February 2012, 08:36:49 pm
OMG! that happened to me in real life ffs! I didn't jump in, I fell in one! I will never forget that day for as long as I live. :'(
I was wearing a denim jacket and a pair of jeans. I was on a chicken farm.(I used to keep 4 hens in my back garden)
The stench was atrocious! I washed my clothes on a 60 degrees vigorous machine wash... the metal buttons came out absolutely gleaming, apparantly it's all the amonia from the chicken shit. ???
?30'000? If you're tall like me, you'll make it out of the slurry pit, just...
Ask him how tall he is? If he's less than 5' 6", take him there and leave him. When he's eventually found, he'll come up 'all shiny and bright.' ;D
W.x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: duskymaiden on 02 February 2012, 08:46:09 pm
Quote from: wileycoyote on 02 February 2012, 08:07:27 pm
Tell him you'll meet him half way regarding his desires. You bring your friend (she will entertain farmer, who is waiting in the wings)... then if the car gets stuck in the mud, she can help tow it out...after all she IS number 1 in the female WWE Championships ;D

W.x

Lol, Wileyycoyote,  yeah would just love to wind the guy up like he is trying to me..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: duskymaiden on 02 February 2012, 08:46:51 pm
Quote from: strawberry on 02 February 2012, 08:25:40 pm
Guy mailed me on AW offering me ?30,000 if I could find him a slurry pit to jump into. He appeared very serious said he'd give it to me in cash!!!I advised him that would be a massive security risk, and not one I'd be willing to take and refered him to Farmers Weekly.

Lol, what a div x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 07 February 2012, 03:30:23 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 25 January 2012, 07:38:51 pm
Quote from: River on 25 January 2012, 06:44:40 pm
... Reading this back, I come across as unstable & stalky like...so at least that's accurate...[/i]   :P

 ;D I do exactly the same. I have 1000s of numbers saved on a number-indexed system on my computer. I have rolodex ...
(please tell me you are not joking ... cause I am being deadly serious... ;D If you are joking I must be the only stalky paranoid sex worker out there!)
Yep totally. At least I recognise my personality flaws. Which is a good line.
A bit like those top officials who say "We've learned from this mistake"
when talking about a train that fell off a viaduct into the sea drowning
1500 people. Like that throw-away line makes it ok.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 07 February 2012, 08:34:39 pm
Quote from: browneyedgirl on 02 February 2012, 07:38:27 pm
I may just challenge/houmour the gentleman by replying and asking to call me if he indeed is a genuine client and see if I get a reply ;D ;D
For appointment verification, request an email attachment of his BMW vehicle registration document.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xxAmyxx on 07 February 2012, 09:57:56 pm
i received this this morning and its um... very strange i think!

 Hi there i live with parents near sheffield, i am pretty lost guy around 20 not been outside in like 2 years. I need some help seriously living at home is so degrading with nothing going for me or no live force. I need a girl or relationship so badly or a better diet perhaps.

Dunno if you could help. you look very sexy in the pictures. Please replay

Sam


lol not the weirdest but amusing hahha

Emma xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 08 February 2012, 05:59:03 pm
Jodie, i totally do that too  ;D

"Hello David, how did your holiday to Portugal go?"

{when in reality I only read the entry on his last visit 5 mins before!)

Otherwise, I am terrible for forgetting names and anything about customers, particularly if they were the good type - pretty non-descript. I remember all the terrible ones, but then wouldn't want to see them again anyway! I'm good at recognising numbers,but nothing else!

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 08 February 2012, 06:06:53 pm
I think there needs to be a special Viva thread for TWs/idiot bookers :FF

Today a guy who'd cancelled once before phoned and asked for a booking.  Fine.......until he turns up with ?60 rather less than my half hour rate and insists that I told him this was my price.  I Know I didn't - he obviously thought I'd do something for the ?60 but I'm trying to be really assertive about this kind of thing and sent him packing.

I hate when you rush round getting ready for nothing  >:(  and of course now he has my address.

[Self Edit] Now he keeps ringing me to 'explain', aaagh I picked up by accident the first time
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MEQR on 08 February 2012, 08:36:39 pm
Grrrrrr..... wft.... how does the escort and fuck buddy enter the same page??? short reply... yes I am happy to be your fuck buddy as per my rates....


Hello,

My name is Ben.

I've been in this industry for 5years or so. I've done it all, cin it all.

During the day I am a architect, during the weekend I play rugby.

I have been working abroad for a year or so, and I've lost contact with my hot sexual fuck buddy.

If you are interested in meeting up, as adults and havin adult fun. Because I believe you and me could have alot off FUN together.

So what do you think.....................

Thanks xxxx
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 09 February 2012, 01:51:54 am
I hate those idiots, who are assuming you'd work for free on the pretence of having fun. What a joke.

I got a text today, saying just 'hi x' and he sent it to me 5 times, before saying 'y aint u answerin?'

Humph, I wonder.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 09 February 2012, 04:29:40 am
hi i'm Dan i'm overweight but wanna lick your pussy till you cum and squirt in my face btw is it white or clear and fuck you in the pussy in tan hold ups and black closed toe 5 inch heels let me know if your up for it xxx p.s. hate making the first move so would you thanks

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amber Sweetpetite on 09 February 2012, 09:59:15 am
There's another duo charging 120 if you can do it for same I'll cum cu asap.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 09 February 2012, 10:18:36 am
"There's another client offering ?240 (or whatever your rate is) we'll be seeing him."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 09 February 2012, 10:43:14 am
Quote from: xw5 on 09 February 2012, 10:18:36 am
"There's another client offering ?240 (or whatever your rate is) we'll be seeing him."

Ha yes I'm going to nick that line the next time some cheapskate emails me  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MEQR on 09 February 2012, 03:44:23 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 09 February 2012, 01:51:54 am
I hate those idiots, who are assuming you'd work for free on the pretence of having fun. What a joke.

I got a text today, saying just 'hi x' and he sent it to me 5 times, before saying 'y aint u answerin?'

Humph, I wonder.

Don't we just.. imagine going to Saninsburys and saying I will come and eat your food because I like it a lot.... may try it... who knows... :))
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miranda on 10 February 2012, 02:36:40 pm
This one will make you laugh ladies.................. 

I get a phone call, someone asking for a Mother experience.............. As I am in a good mood, I am prepared to listen and engage in some conversation.. 

So he asks how much for one hour.  I tell him............. Then he asks how much for 4 hours - I tell him............  He says oh that's too much, bla bla bla, bla.............

Tells me he is in a hotel in London and how long would it take to get to me................... 

Now I sense TW big time but am still calm (unusual for me) and suddenly I hear a dog barking!  So I said, you say you are in a hotel and I hear a dog barking? 

His reply - there is a security guard and he has a dog with him as they are doing a security check! 

Got to give it to him for quick thinking, don't you think so girls!  LOL

I then asked which hotel at which point he hung up................  Oh well, that's a 4 hour one down the drain then, woe is me............. 

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MISS RUBY on 10 February 2012, 08:47:52 pm
i once had a guy call up asking "do you do mummy"? :
i have had emails froma guy asking could i attach vacumn cleaner to his cock and turn the machine on!
I had one male email.me ask would i throw knives at him.I usually just delete /block!

But the worst  one was wednesday this week when a guy rings up and asks if he could stick his foot up me and fuck. asian sounding man no name given and cut phone off and block! **9305135**
Ruby x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverbird on 10 February 2012, 10:57:51 pm
I had a call today... "Can you be 'mummy' to me, I'm an adult male?"
I don't get what I call, 'bizarre requests' like this very often, as those who want this kind of experience usually know where to seek a professional in this sphere.
I was caught off guard and replied, 'Pardon?' Phone went dead. I could've been educated, if he'd only just held on a minute!! I'd have spanked his arse for being a 'bad boy' at my usual rate... And got rid of some of my frustrations into the bargain! 8)

W.x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 11 February 2012, 01:25:24 am
Email just received....

if i pay for a nice hotel do i have to pay for you?


 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 11 February 2012, 01:32:16 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 11 February 2012, 01:25:24 am
Email just received....

if i pay for a nice hotel do i have to pay for you?


 ::)

reply: 'only if you would like to share it with me, otherwise Im happy to enjoy the room alone.'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 11 February 2012, 06:20:52 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 11 February 2012, 01:32:16 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 11 February 2012, 01:25:24 am
Email just received....

if i pay for a nice hotel do i have to pay for you?


 ::)

reply: 'only if you would like to share it with me, otherwise Im happy to enjoy the room alone.'

Ooooh, nice one!!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: blondieMK on 11 February 2012, 07:50:10 pm
Quote from: Miss Ruby on 10 February 2012, 08:47:52 pm
i once had a guy call up asking "do you do mummy"? :
i have had emails froma guy asking could i attach vacumn cleaner to his cock and turn the machine on!
I had one male email.me ask would i throw knives at him.I usually just delete /block!

But the worst  one was wednesday this week when a guy rings up and asks if he could stick his foot up me and fuck. asian sounding man no name given and cut phone off and block! **9305135**
Ruby x


The vacuum guy also emails me and the friend I work with lmao x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 12 February 2012, 03:07:09 pm
Quote from: Miss Ruby on 10 February 2012, 08:47:52 pm
i have had emails froma guy asking could i attach vacumn cleaner to his cock and turn the machine on!
Quote from: blondieMK on 11 February 2012, 07:50:10 pm
The vacuum guy also emails me and the friend I work with lmao x

And me. He stopped when I said the vacuum was broken and asked if the paper shredder would do?
R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 12 February 2012, 04:11:40 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 09 February 2012, 01:51:54 am
I hate those idiots, who are assuming you'd work for free on the pretence of having fun. What a joke.

I got a text today, saying just 'hi x' and he sent it to me 5 times, before saying 'y aint u answerin?'

Humph, I wonder.
Sounds like a guy who's been doing the rounds lately.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 15 February 2012, 11:59:08 am
"i want spend 250? over night. do u like any drink i will get.
r u intrusting tell me.
i will book one night.
plz let me.
my email. <edited, but a really long totally random string of letters>@gmail.com
cheers."

I have of course booked him in immediately, ?250 (my rate for two hours) is a cheeky offer, but ?250 and a can of pop - who can resist?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 15 February 2012, 12:04:37 pm
They are all out today! This is via text -

guy - "Is K9 too taboo for you babe"

me - "I don't think the hotel allow dogs, except guide dogs"

guy - "But if they did"

me - "Still no"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 15 February 2012, 12:24:18 pm
I once received a text from someone who claimed it to be his wildest fantasy to pay a cool 1 million pounds into the account of a tall blonde.  All he needed was my bank details and address.

Really..... needless to say I did not give my details and never received the 1 million!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: blondieMK on 15 February 2012, 03:05:09 pm
Quote from: Rooby on 12 February 2012, 03:07:09 pm
Quote from: Miss Ruby on 10 February 2012, 08:47:52 pm
i have had emails froma guy asking could i attach vacumn cleaner to his cock and turn the machine on!
Quote from: blondieMK on 11 February 2012, 07:50:10 pm
The vacuum guy also emails me and the friend I work with lmao x

And me. He stopped when I said the vacuum was broken and asked if the paper shredder would do?
R xx

Hahaha!! Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 15 February 2012, 04:47:37 pm
Quote from: D.3 on 15 February 2012, 02:01:07 pm
P.s He didn't offer to get me any drink I would like! Pretty hurt by this

Maybe the can of pop is a sweetener, since no-one has taken him up on the cash offer! I've changed my mind, I'm holding out for ?250, can of pop, and a bag of crisps....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 15 February 2012, 04:55:23 pm
Quote from: MissThang on 15 February 2012, 04:47:37 pm
Maybe the can of pop is a sweetener, since no-one has taken him up on the cash offer! I've changed my mind, I'm holding out for ?250, can of pop, and a bag of crisps....

You must be one of them 'High Class' escorts I keep hearing about!  ;D
R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 15 February 2012, 07:05:21 pm
Mid Jan:
Colin "delete my number" Think im curious bout transexuals wot do u look like and how big r u
Me (Template reply) I don't accept texts. www.--- is my website. I'm available, phone me.

First of Feb:
Colin "delete my number" Know u dont do text but want to know wot services to expect first timer very nervous thanks
Me (Template reply) Look, the law says I have to hear your voice to ensure you are an adult. I can't help with your nerves, I'm an escort, not a shrink.
He then phones. Normal client enquiry follows.

Later the same day
Colin "delete my number" Hi its colin we spoke today do u have any pictures of yourself u can send me thanks
Me (Template reply) www.--- is my site with full details.
Later:
Colin "delete my number" Thanks for that.  u have lovely breasts want to sef what i have in my pants lol
Me Seriously no. Only when you spend time with me.
Colin "delete my number" Shame looking at u in the black dress got me hard
Me No more texts

Three days ago:
Colin "delete my number"  Hi spoke to u last week how much was it to c u thanks
Me Hi Colin  ?x for an hour, I'm available from 5pm today
Clearly freaked that I'd logged his name/number: 
Colin "delete my number" Ok please delete my number will phone if i can get there what will u have on today
Me Lingerie...of course
Colin "delete my number" I know that hun what sort u so funny paint the picture for me
Me Your text has EVERY hallmark of a timewaster. I don't do wank texts...  I'm an Escort. You have seen my pics. Decide:
Visit me or don't.
End of....
Colin "delete my number" How rude get rid of my number please and don't text to wank i text because im married thankyou for your time
Me Then why not try: "Not cheating" on the woman who bore you your children
(educated guess on my part  ;D)
You come across as a timewaster so I'll hold onto your number, thanks.  :)
Colin "delete my number" No iv made a mistale delete my number wont bother u again thanks
Me Mistake? ...Only you can. tell. I'm just an Escort, not a psych. No more texts from you would be nice.
No way will I delete your number because that's a safety issue for me. I won't contact you either, so chill....
Colin "delete my number" Just delete it wont contact u again be sure of that again thank you
Me Not goin g to happen. I could lie to you and you'd never know. But I prefer to be honest.
You either STOP TEXTING ME (as you promised) and nothing happens, ever.
Or
You keep requesting me to delete your number and I keep refusing for my own safety.
The second option is very boring.
So I respectfully suggest you stop texting
And we can both go do something useful like charity work
or write a poem which subsequently inspires a whole generation and improves society for the next 100 years...
Or
we both go watch Ski-Sunday* on the telly!
In all likleihood the 'Ski-Sunday option' being the most likely for both of us.  :)
Colin "delete my number" Thats fine that number better not fall into the wrong hands do apologise be happy


*A lie coz I never watch the telly
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 15 February 2012, 09:38:17 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 15 February 2012, 07:05:21 pm
Mid Jan:
Colin "delete my number" Think im curious bout transexuals wot do u look like and how big r u
Jodie (Template reply) I don't accept texts. www.--- is my website. I'm available, phone me.

First of Feb:
Colin "delete my number" Know u dont do text but want to know wot services to expect first timer very nervous thanks
Jodie (Template reply) Look, the law says I have to hear your voice to ensure you are an adult. I can't help with your nerves, I'm an escort, not a shrink.
He then phones. Normal client enquiry follows.

Later the same day
Colin "delete my number" Hi its colin we spoke today do u have any pictures of yourself u can send me thanks
Jodie (Template reply) www.--- is my site with full details.
Later:
Colin "delete my number" Thanks for that jodie u have lovely breasts want to sef what i have in my pants lol
Jodie Seriously no. Only when you spend time with me.
Colin "delete my number" Shame looking at u in the black dress got me hard
Jodie No more texts

Three days ago:
Colin "delete my number"  Hi Jodie spoke to u last week how much was it to c u thanks
Jodie Hi Colin  ?160 for an hour, I'm available from 5pm today
Clearly freaked that I'd logged his name/number: 
Colin "delete my number" Ok please delete my number will phone if i can get there jodie what will u have on today
Jodie Lingerie...of course
Colin "delete my number" I know that hun what sort u so funny paint the picture for me
Jodie Your text has EVERY hallmark of a timewaster. I don't do wank texts...  I'm an Escort. You have seen my pics. Decide:
Visit me or don't.
End of....
Colin "delete my number" How rude get rid of my number please and don't text to wank i text because im married thankyou for your time
Jodie Then why not try: "Not cheating" on the woman who bore you your children
(educated guess on my part  ;D)
You come across as a timewaster so I'll hold onto your number, thanks.  :)
Colin "delete my number" No iv made a mistale delete my number wont bother u again thanks
Jodie Mistake? ...Only you can. tell. I'm just an Escort, not a psych. No more texts from you would be nice.
No way will I delete your number because that's a safety issue for me. I won't contact you either, so chill....
Colin "delete my number" Just delete it wont contact u again be sure of that again thank you
Jodie Not goin g to happen. I could lie to you and you'd never know. But I prefer to be honest.
You either STOP TEXTING ME (as you promised) and nothing happens, ever.
Or
You keep requesting me to delete your number and I keep refusing for my own safety.
The second option is very boring.
So I respectfully suggest you stop texting
And we can both go do something useful like charity work
or write a poem which subsequently inspires a whole generation and improves society for the next 100 years...
Or
we both go watch Ski-Sunday* on the telly!
In all likleihood the 'Ski-Sunday option' being the most likely for both of us.  :)
Colin "delete my number" Thats fine that number better not fall into the wrong hands do apologise be happy


*A lie coz I never watch the telly

The problem with texting is that every text sent induces a necessary further text as a response! It becomes  a never ending circle totally different to a normal conversation with a beginning and an end!

I don't usually entertain texters but I had a guy who surprised me by arriving after an array of texts asking various questions about being discrete etc and telling how he had a bad time visiting an escort in the past, although I was getting somewhat irritated I presumed he was genuinely nervous but sincere so I persevered with some reassuring words.

I managed to get his location out of him on the way to me so I was assured he was definitely coming anyway.

I suppose somewhat risky but given the overall tone of what he was telling me I went along with it and he was a very easy-going quite tender guy not even remotely nervous when we met which makes me wonder what the fuss was!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 16 February 2012, 01:47:25 am
Yes you are right.
Normally one text with my website.

But I was bored!    :P
You can tell...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverbird on 16 February 2012, 02:07:04 am
Nice work JodieTs ;D
And sometimes... it's not just the texting that's important, it's the 'check mate' of texts that makes it worth while ;)
As Jodie said, not to be recommended in general but, occasionally, by being a little more bitter and twisted... it can be good for one's own state of mind.

W.x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MISS RUBY on 16 February 2012, 07:51:05 am
I HAVE A MUTE TEXTER WHO OBVIOUSLY HAS NO VOICE !
THEY CAN WANK WITH ONE HAND AND TEXT WITH THEIR OTHER!
THEY CAN'T TALK OR READ ESCORTS PROFILES PROPERTY BUT JUST IRRITATE THE HELL OUT OF MR. I JUST  DO NOT REPLY AT ALL.ITS A WASTE OF MY CALL CREDIT AND TIME.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KatieKurves on 16 February 2012, 08:29:18 pm
Luv it. They're nutcases sometimes!! LOL.

Call from my AW phone. -

Me: Hello Kate speaking.
                                       
Caller: Hello can you give me some details please?
                                         
Me: Well this phone number is off my Adultwork.com profile where you will find all the information you need including genuine photos of me. Call me back to make an appt.

Click dead line.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 16 February 2012, 09:02:11 pm
Quote from: Kurvy-Kate on 16 February 2012, 08:29:18 pm
Luv it. They're nutcases sometimes!! LOL.

Call from my AW phone. -

Me: Hello Kate speaking.
                                       
Caller: Hello can you give me some details please?
                                         
Me: Well this phone number is off my Adultwork.com profile where you will find all the information you need including genuine photos of me. Call me back to make an appt.

Click dead line.

xx

They don't even get that far with me some times! Call, I speak then an immediate dead line. They're so pathetic some of them...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lexi on 16 February 2012, 10:33:58 pm
Hahaha hilarious! Not had any ask to delete thir number as yet but can see how rewarding that must have been Jodie!

I find it so rude when they put the phone down without a bye or an acknowledgement... Might just be me though?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 16 February 2012, 11:49:12 pm
I only posted all that texty-stuff, for my killer punchline.
 


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sara1980 on 17 February 2012, 12:15:06 am

Deleted, sorry x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 17 February 2012, 01:20:38 am
Quote from: MissThang on 15 February 2012, 12:04:37 pm
They are all out today! This is via text -

guy - "Is K9 too taboo for you babe"

me - "I don't think the hotel allow dogs, except guide dogs"

guy - "But if they did"

me - "Still no"

This MUST be a guy I kicked and then re-kicked who comes into chat and wants me to "just wave bb" if I'm into k9. His name gives you the first clue.. He's looking for dog woman, essentially. Instead of waving, I repiled "Not a chance in hell" and kicked him. If I got a phonecall like that I don't know what I'd do!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 17 February 2012, 01:42:40 pm
Which nicely lead onto my fav current joke.
It's about dogs and sex so sorta on-topic...

Two dogs are walking down the road.
Dog 1 says to the other dog: "Do you use contraception?"
Dog 2 replies: "Durex"
To which Dog 1 responds: "Hey, I asked you first"   
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RedLady1991 on 17 February 2012, 06:17:23 pm
""I read your profile, and emailed you, would like a free booking if i left you feedback and field report to boost your profile, i could cover travel cost, i could also make a video for you to put on a,w if you wanted, i wouldn't want to keep it or be in it. Basicly im a nice clean healthy guy just skint. Im sorry if im cheeky, your profile said discounts at your discretion x""

Youd like a free booking? Id like to not be skint and to have decent clients but life doesnt work like that :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 17 February 2012, 09:55:38 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 17 February 2012, 01:42:40 pm
Which nicely lead onto my fav current joke.
It's about dogs and sex so sorta on-topic...

Two dogs are walking down the road.
Dog 1 says to the other dog: "Do you use contraception?"
Dog 2 replies: "Durex"
To which Dog 1 responds: "Hey, I asked you first"

LMAO...I didn't get it until I read it out loud! Doh!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 17 February 2012, 10:13:51 pm
'Hi,
I am a 26 year old straight male, who has recently developed a thing for TV/TS Girls. I have no problems with women, so am slightly reluctant to pay for services! whowever im finding it hard to meet TV's for fun, and am curious if youd offer a mutual meet or reduced rate for a fit 26 year old??

I could accommodate, but also travel and but would be ready for both passive and active fun today. if interested, send me a message and ill forward you my email and some pics.

Thanks'

'Mutual meets' and 'special rates' for fit 26 year olds! I don't see the relevance of forwarding his email and pics. Why do so many decide that advertising personal services is akin to offering a free dating service? Do they really think you advertise as an escort on the off-chance that you could find the ideal date!?!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 18 February 2012, 05:34:26 pm
Phone rings today.
A 'No Show' & loads of previous N.s's and wank-texts.
He asks for an appointment for 3 hours from now.
I agree, but figure it's another N.s after which I'll block him.

Anyway, he later rings from my staging point (3 minutes from my flat)
Then turns up looking well groomed and rather attractive.
He then suggests he sorts out the money and promptly pays me!
 
Then follows a really hot session
(you know those one in thirty sessions which are actually a delight rather than 'just work') 
He is on the edge most of the time & I'm thinking
"please don't cum yet"  yes, it was that good.
Eventually he cums all over my tits.

After cleaning up, I offer him a cuppa which he accepts.
He then goes into relaxed post orgasm relaxed mode
which is normally ideal as a wind down.  Not for you matie.
After a couple of minutes I say to him:
"I hope you don't mind me asking this and please don't take offence,
but while you are drinking the tea, is it OK if I suck your willy?" 
Then follows another hot time.
He later dresses and I come up to him, stroke his back
run my nose along his shoulder and breath in.
Oh why can't every job be like this.
He has to leave and the session is almost over. Well 45 minutes in.

Total timewaster turns into dream client.
My head is spinning.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 18 February 2012, 05:55:38 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 18 February 2012, 05:34:26 pm
Total timewaster turns into dream client.
My head is spinning.

Thats like a Prossie Fairytale!! Brilliant, it's (almost) restored my faith in men  ;D

R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 18 February 2012, 07:23:05 pm
Quote from: Rooby on 18 February 2012, 05:55:38 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 18 February 2012, 05:34:26 pm
Total timewaster turns into dream client.
My head is spinning.

Thats like a Prossie Fairytale!! Brilliant, it's (almost) restored my faith in men  ;D

R xx

Agreed! Wow, lucky Jodie:-)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: improbablecats on 18 February 2012, 10:24:09 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 18 February 2012, 05:34:26 pm
Phone rings today.
A 'No Show' from 12 months ago. 
(My index card says he has made loads of previous N.s's and wank-texts.)
He asks for an appointment for 3 hours from now.
I agree, but figure it's another N.s after which I'll block him.

Anyway, he later rings from my staging point (3 minutes from my flat)
Then turns up looking well groomed and rather attractive.
He then suggests he sorts out the money and promptly pays me!
 
Then follows a really hot session
(you know those one in thirty sessions which are actually a delight rather than 'just work') 
He is on the edge most of the time & I'm thinking
"please don't cum yet"  yes, it was that good.
Eventually he cums all over my tits.

After cleaning up, I offer him a cuppa which he accepts.
He then goes into relaxed post orgasm relaxed mode
which is normally ideal as a wind down.  Not for you matie.
After a couple of minutes I say to him:
"I hope you don't mind me asking this and please don't take offence,
but while you are drinking the tea, is it OK if I suck your willy?" 
Then follows another hot time.
He later dresses and I come up to him, stroke his back
run my nose along his shoulder and breath in.
Oh why can't every job be like this.
He has to leave and the session is almost over. Well 45 minutes in.

Total timewaster turns into dream client.
My head is spinning.

Goodness! I'm glad this turned up trumps for you, Jods. :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 19 February 2012, 01:50:03 am
Thanks.
A real turn up for the books.

My next booking today was a regular.
When he was fifteen minutes late I phoned him.
Difficult to hear him talk, as there was lots of noise
and official sounding voice over a tannoy, I think.
"I'll explain another time.  I'm in a police station"
I guess not a suspect/prisoner as he still had his phone.
Pity he didn't make it as he is also a very yummy client
so that would have been nice.
Oh well.   :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RedLady1991 on 19 February 2012, 03:51:28 am
Cant have everything jodie...seems like you already had an amazing day!! Good on you :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 19 February 2012, 04:17:17 pm
 Jodie's post just proove how unpredictable men can be sometimes!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 19 February 2012, 06:43:30 pm
Him - can you do half an hour for ?60.00 because it is so far to travel
Me - No

Find someone closer surely there is a lady between me and bath x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 19 February 2012, 06:44:55 pm
Quote from: Kristina Bristol Escort on 19 February 2012, 06:43:30 pm
Him - can you do half an hour for ?60.00 because it is so far to travel
Me - No

Find someone closer surely there is a lady between me and bath x

I hate guys like those! Why travel if they can't afford it? Why not find a guy closer? Idiot!

I actually had a guy ask me to travel from London to Inverness, Scotland for a 1 hour outcall yesterday - what the hell? :FF!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 19 February 2012, 07:11:24 pm
Well that beats my record of someone asking me on Saturday evening if I would do an out call to Launceston Cornwall for 1 hour.  Giving that I am in Bristol I declined.

I also have someone who has made a booking this week for a 3 hour incall he is coming from Liverpool specially to see me - I am not holding my breath!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 19 February 2012, 07:49:48 pm
God  >:(

Mind you, some guys do come from far away to see me, but they are a rarity...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 21 February 2012, 10:34:27 pm
*sigh*

'hi mistress

Message:
i want to vivt u soon mistress but i wll not be alone i wll be with my wife and i want hu to abuse her in front of me
i wll be in lonodon at march tell me if i can trust u'

Trust him with what? A dictionary perhaps??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Your Tera on 21 February 2012, 11:36:46 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 21 February 2012, 10:34:27 pm
*sigh*

'hi mistress

Message:
i want to vivt u soon mistress but i wll not be alone i wll be with my wife and i want hu to abuse her in front of me
i wll be in lonodon at march tell me if i can trust u'

Trust him with what? A dictionary perhaps??

Maybe a spelling primer would be safer. I wouldn't trust him with a dictionary!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 22 February 2012, 02:11:16 am
Quote from: Your Tera on 21 February 2012, 11:36:46 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 21 February 2012, 10:34:27 pm
*sigh*

'hi mistress

Message:
i want to vivt u soon mistress but i wll not be alone i wll be with my wife and i want hu to abuse her in front of me
i wll be in lonodon at march tell me if i can trust u'

Trust him with what? A dictionary perhaps??

Maybe a spelling primer would be safer. I wouldn't trust him with a dictionary!!

OMG, LMFAO!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 22 February 2012, 09:35:25 am
Christ, tell him to go back to school... :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nikki74 on 22 February 2012, 10:48:40 am
strange one had a text last saying Ive sent you a message via adultwork?
well didn't he think to just text me the message instead of making me load up my laptop which takes forever at the moment as i cant get rid of this really annoying powerspeed virus!
i just dont get men at all he wants to see me straight after i have seen another client,and lick me clean or for me to make him lick clean the condoms Ive used that day( my coffee nearly came up at the thought of that if he thought for a second i would kiss him afterwards hes soooooooo wrong) I'm used to kinky but i have limits!
so Ive told him i will be in touch and when I'm desperate i will properly give him a call Lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissDeeVonTease on 22 February 2012, 10:55:56 am
Quote from: nikki74 on 22 February 2012, 10:48:40 am
strange one had a text last saying Ive sent you a message via adultwork?
well didn't he think to just text me the message instead of making me load up my laptop which takes forever at the moment as i cant get rid of this really annoying powerspeed virus!
i just dont get men at all he wants to see me straight after i have seen another client,and lick me clean or for me to make him lick clean the condoms Ive used that day( my coffee nearly came up at the thought of that if he thought for a second i would kiss him afterwards hes soooooooo wrong) I'm used to kinky but i have limits!
so Ive told him i will be in touch and when I'm desperate i will properly give him a call Lol

iv had this request before...and been asked to get condoms out of the bin.......vile!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissDeeVonTease on 22 February 2012, 11:02:43 am
i had a guy who wanted to book me early morning and i had put on my profile message me if you want before midday..so he messages asking what is the earliest i can do, i said 9am i had my partners little girl to take to school but could take her to breakfast club and be back and ready for 9am....not good enough he actually asked me if i could have my partners little girl sleep at someone Else's house and have them take her to school so he could come at 7am :FF.........i couldn't believe the nerve of him! i never rely on early booking because i find 80% don't turn up.,,told him go fuck his hand and NEVER contact me again TWAT :-*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 22 February 2012, 12:07:01 pm
Quote from: Your Tera on 21 February 2012, 11:36:46 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 21 February 2012, 10:34:27 pm
*sigh*

'hi mistress

Message:
i want to vivt u soon mistress but i wll not be alone i wll be with my wife and i want hu to abuse her in front of me
i wll be in lonodon at march tell me if i can trust u'

Trust him with what? A dictionary perhaps??

Maybe a spelling primer would be safer. I wouldn't trust him with a dictionary!!

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 22 February 2012, 01:07:19 pm
Quote from: derbyshireBBW on 22 February 2012, 10:55:56 am
Quote from: nikki74 on 22 February 2012, 10:48:40 am
make him lick clean the condoms Ive used that day
iv had this request before...and been asked to get condoms out of the bin.......vile!
Oh just so yukky!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 22 February 2012, 08:08:34 pm
Hi,

I hope this finds you in the best of your health.

I like your daring personality as read. I was thinking to meet you ASAP. I called u a number of times last week, but was not lucky enough. I am a decent, honest, mature and discrete 34 yo research student.

You may agree that you are priceless, as no money is worth your beauty and company. Can you provide me quickie in 20 pounds? I have no intentions/business to destroy your rates. I am looking for one girl I can make frequent visits depending on her availability.

Please let me know if you can be kind and approving.

Kind regards
"idiot"

 :o    ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 22 February 2012, 09:09:15 pm
Hi,

I travel to Bristol on a weekly basis and am looking for someone to spend some time with. Actually quite a lot of time. Could we perhaps chat about a suitable arrangement, like where to meet, how to stay in touch and perhaps how much notice you need from me etc.? As I'm looking for a more long term deal I would ideally like to have a meet and greet. Are you okay with that?


Yeah right he's after a freebie - like I have not heard this before!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 22 February 2012, 09:23:45 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 22 February 2012, 08:08:34 pm
Hi,

I hope this finds you in the best of your health.

I like your daring personality as read. I was thinking to meet you ASAP. I called u a number of times last week, but was not lucky enough. I am a decent, honest, mature and discrete 34 yo research student.

You may agree that you are priceless, as no money is worth your beauty and company. Can you provide me quickie in 20 pounds? I have no intentions/business to destroy your rates. I am looking for one girl I can make frequent visits depending on her availability.

Please let me know if you can be kind and approving.

Kind regards
"idiot"

 :o    ;D

'No money is worth your company' then following it through with...can you provide a quickie for ?20, that is so flattering! ;D

I have no intention to honour your rates more like!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 23 February 2012, 09:57:53 am
I had a horrible client a few days ago. He called up and sounded perfectly fine, but started asking questions about services on the way over. I politely informed him that I don't discuss services on the phone, and that he needed to read my profile. He was fine with that, and came over as planned. Upon entrance into my bedroom, he began picking at my bedsheets and pulled a single dog's hair off my duvet. He looked at me and said 'Not very clean is it?'  :-\ Then after the appointment, he said - 'Frankly, I think you're too expensive. You aren't nearly as good as I expected. You're average.'  :o I couldn't believe what I was hearing, and promptly burst out laughing, because I was in shock. The guy got up and stormed out, but...how rude, arrogant and bizarre??? :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: annee on 23 February 2012, 11:20:08 am
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 23 February 2012, 09:57:53 am
I had a horrible client a few days ago. He called up and sounded perfectly fine, but started asking questions about services on the way over. I politely informed him that I don't discuss services on the phone, and that he needed to read my profile. He was fine with that, and came over as planned. Upon entrance into my bedroom, he began picking at my bedsheets and pulled a single dog's hair off my duvet. He looked at me and said 'Not very clean is it?'  :-\ Then after the appointment, he said - 'Frankly, I think you're too expensive. You aren't nearly as good as I expected. You're average.'  :o I couldn't believe what I was hearing, and promptly burst out laughing, because I was in shock. The guy got up and stormed out, but...how rude, arrogant and bizarre??? :FF

You should have told him "Ditto....you were crap too"  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 23 February 2012, 12:21:25 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 23 February 2012, 09:57:53 am
I had a horrible client a few days ago. He called up and sounded perfectly fine, but started asking questions about services on the way over. I politely informed him that I don't discuss services on the phone, and that he needed to read my profile. He was fine with that, and came over as planned. Upon entrance into my bedroom, he began picking at my bedsheets and pulled a single dog's hair off my duvet. He looked at me and said 'Not very clean is it?'  :-\ Then after the appointment, he said - 'Frankly, I think you're too expensive. You aren't nearly as good as I expected. You're average.'  :o I couldn't believe what I was hearing, and promptly burst out laughing, because I was in shock. The guy got up and stormed out, but...how rude, arrogant and bizarre??? :FF

Oh my God. I cannot understand the (thankfully few but nonetheless horrifying) guys who seem determined to spend their valuable time (AND money!?) trying to make us feel bad/inferior. If you're so miserable that all you can do is think about how much you hate other people for DARING to do xyz that you don't agree with, then fine - waste your own life being a tedious tw*t. But to be both miserable AND vindictive enough that you need to inflict yourself on others to try to make yourself feel vindicated in your sad, mean view of life? I just don't understand it.

Life's not too hard, really. Just try not to make the planet a worse place for others with your existence. If you can't say or do anything nice, just don't say or do anything to anyone. If you don't like a girl's rates, don't see her so you don't have to pay them. Seems simple, right? Not for certain unpleasant odd'uns, I guess!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 23 February 2012, 03:25:19 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 23 February 2012, 09:57:53 am
I had a horrible client a few days ago. He called up and sounded perfectly fine, but started asking questions about services on the way over. I politely informed him that I don't discuss services on the phone, and that he needed to read my profile. He was fine with that, and came over as planned. Upon entrance into my bedroom, he began picking at my bedsheets and pulled a single dog's hair off my duvet. He looked at me and said 'Not very clean is it?'  :-\ Then after the appointment, he said - 'Frankly, I think you're too expensive. You aren't nearly as good as I expected. You're average.'  :o I couldn't believe what I was hearing, and promptly burst out laughing, because I was in shock. The guy got up and stormed out, but...how rude, arrogant and bizarre??? :FF


I hate it when they make negative comments about the state of my flat! That doesn't start things off well at all, even if some of their observations may be accurate they don't have to be so rude as to assume they can start poking away at things.

Making comments about you being too expensive, surely the experience is only as good as what the punter puts in to it which is more than just his cash. I mean you can only do things together and if he isn't forthcoming with what he wants or doesn't give you the odd nudge in the right direction then what does he expect to take away from it!?

I had one guy who thought he'd ask me if I could 'do it for less' the second time when he called, so you're telling me you thought that little of it that you're going to insult me by asking me to do the same (or more) for less money the second time!? Needless to say we didn't meet again and won't be. He was totally awkward anyway and one of these 'how can I get the most out of a 30 minute booking' types who wants to turn it into a frenzied sexual assault course! For me that's completely off-putting.

I hate the sort of guy who wants to look down on you and thinks that paying for it means you're entirely under his control.

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 24 February 2012, 01:01:43 am
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 23 February 2012, 09:57:53 am
You aren't nearly as good as I expected. You're average.

I know we don't name names on this board, but just between us, it was Simon Cowell, wasn't it?  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 24 February 2012, 09:30:26 am
Quote from: MissThang on 24 February 2012, 01:01:43 am
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 23 February 2012, 09:57:53 am
You aren't nearly as good as I expected. You're average.

I know we don't name names on this board, but just between us, it was Simon Cowell, wasn't it?  ;D

Totally  ;D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 25 February 2012, 09:14:05 pm
Hi im matt and im currently staying in bristol and id just like to know if you would be ok doing a request for me which is if i book a three hour outcall session for monday could you wet a pampers baby nappie for me and write a little message saying how much you enjoyed wetting it and a kiss on the nappie and i have the nappies ready also just to let you know im not after sex im only after watching you wet the nappie and i'll book it once i get a reply if your ok doing it or not thanks.
 :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 27 February 2012, 09:59:55 am
Christ :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 27 February 2012, 10:03:55 am
Quote from: Kristina Bristol Escort on 25 February 2012, 09:14:05 pm
Hi im matt and im currently staying in bristol and id just like to know if you would be ok doing a request for me which is if i book a three hour outcall session for monday could you wet a pampers baby nappie for me and write a little message saying how much you enjoyed wetting it and a kiss on the nappie and i have the nappies ready also just to let you know im not after sex im only after watching you wet the nappie and i'll book it once i get a reply if your ok doing it or not thanks.
 :FF :FF :FF

Ha ha!  He should contact ME I'd be more than happy to pee everywhere for him.

Quote from: ladyjennaj on 23 February 2012, 09:57:53 am
I had a horrible client a few days ago. He called up and sounded perfectly fine, but started asking questions about services on the way over. I politely informed him that I don't discuss services on the phone, and that he needed to read my profile. He was fine with that, and came over as planned. Upon entrance into my bedroom, he began picking at my bedsheets and pulled a single dog's hair off my duvet. He looked at me and said 'Not very clean is it?'  :-\ Then after the appointment, he said - 'Frankly, I think you're too expensive. You aren't nearly as good as I expected. You're average.'  :o I couldn't believe what I was hearing, and promptly burst out laughing, because I was in shock. The guy got up and stormed out, but...how rude, arrogant and bizarre??? :FF


Christ on a stick!  What a tosser.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 27 February 2012, 09:18:11 pm
I've written about this regular in other threads.
He's ab outcall.
As a client he is ok 'In-Appointment'
but in between, I'm continually getting these "haggling" texts
Hi J i cant do it any more for xx
hi yy ok
zz is good mony
ww yesjodi
He is a used car salesman and clearly views my services like that.
Also, when I've explained why haggling with a Provider is so very wrong.
To do so treats us as objects, where trying to knock our fee is disparaging
and likely to lead to resentment and a poor service...he shrugs with indifference.
It's all a game to hum. Also when I'm with him he mentions (most times) about
the moneyhe has given to me, as though this means I owe him something.
I think:
"You are buying a service"
"I wouldn't even talk with you if you weren't paying"
"You've paid me for a service, to drive out to your house and suck your cock
and for you to fuck me, then quietly leave"
"I don't owe you anything beyond this"
But of course I don't say that; instead I'm polite.

I don't want to see him again so two weeks ago I replied to his pisy texts
by stating my fee is now ?--
Anyway last night::
zz good money
I reply:
Hi ---
My fee is now ?--
And thirty minutes ago:
zz good money
I just sent this reply:
Hi ---
I do not want to see you again,....ever
STOP CONTACTING ME

Sometimes good clients turn bad.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 28 February 2012, 10:18:51 am
Quote from: JodieTs on 27 February 2012, 09:18:11 pm
I've written about this regular in other threads.
He's a ?260 / hour outcall.
As a client he is ok 'In-Appointment'
but in between, I'm continually getting these "haggling" texts
Hi J i cant do it any more for 26o
hi 180 ok
200 is good mony
160 yesjodi
He is a used car salesman and clearly views my services like that.
Also, when I've explained why haggling with a Provider is so very wrong.
To do so treats us as objects, where trying to knock our fee is disparaging
and likely to lead to resentment and a poor service
he fucking shrugs with indifference.
It's all a fucking game to this prick.
Also when I'm with him he mentions (most times) about the thousands he has given to me.
As though this means I fucking owe him something.
I think:
"You are buying a service you turd"
"I wouldn't even talk with you if you weren't paying"
"You've paid me for a service, to drive out to your pissy little house and suck your cock
and for you to fuck me, then quietly leave"
"I don't owe you a muthr-fuckin' thing, you tosser"
But of course I don't say that; instead I'm polite.

I don't want to see him again so two weeks ago I replied to his pissy texts
by stating my fee is now ?300
Anyway last night::
200 good money
I reply:
Hi ---
My fee is now ?300
And thirty minutes ago:
200 good money
I just sent this reply:
Hi ---
I do not want to see you again,....ever
STOP CONTACTING ME
Jodie

If he does contact me again, my next text will say:
Fuck off. Catch AIDS and die, you creepy disgusting man

I wish they would all just fuck off.

You should ask him how much he would shag random (and often pretty repulsive) middle aged guys for!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 28 February 2012, 11:59:39 am
Maybe
Terry had a phone conversation with me. A paper ad, so I would have
furnished him with me prices, description, services and website. 
Any follow up to such a call should be solely to arrange a date and time.
I'm the ONLY transsexual escort in the papers which carry my ads,
so there is no excuse at all not to remember that we have already spoken
They are just engaging with me for a free wank.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RedLady1991 on 28 February 2012, 12:50:57 pm
Jodie - do you actually say these things?  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 28 February 2012, 12:56:42 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 28 February 2012, 11:59:39 am
Maybe
but I'm too busy in meltdown:

Terry had a phone conversation with me on 6th of Feb at 13:51
in a call which lasted two minutes and two seconds.
Terry called me from a paper ad, so I would have furnished him with me prices,
description, services and website. 
Any follow up to such a call
should be solely to arrange a date and time.
I'm the ONLY transsexual escort in the papers which carry my ads,
so there is no excuse at all not to remember that we have already spoken
(STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR PENIS, YOU PENIS)

Anything else -
They should be taken to Argentina,
put in a military helicopter,
flown over the south Atlantic
and pushed out at 300 feet. 
That's exactly how I feel.
They are just engaging with me for a free wank at my mental well-being.
  • Terry Just looked at your photos jodie seriously hot ! Love them
  • Jodie OK; what time today would you like to book a session with me?
  • Terry What are the details arrangements etc . Sorry can't talk at moment .
  • Jodie I gave you this information two weeks ago. This is bullshit. You make out that you can't slip out for a 2 minute phone call...  Why? You the captain of an Italian cruise liner or something? Even he had his bit on the side there during the sinking... Why don't you fuck off, stop wanking off over my pics and do something to benefit mankind like kill yourself. Just fuck off and die.
Sorry to trivialise your painful punters but the name Terry and a used car dealer, kind of reminds me of the character Terry Tibbs from Fonejacker. He sounds completely in line with that character with his 'that's a good price' haggling to someone random who isn't really that bothered whether they sell whatever they're selling or not.
Don't know what to say other than that, the problem with the internet (or any public medium) and 'personal' phone lines is that it attracts all kinds of insincere attention from all quarters of society really.
My ex gf was trying to find a new home for her dog a few months ago and you wouldn't imagine the number of timewasters her ads were getting, it was no different to advertising personal services in that all manner of idiots who were either lonely or had time on their hands kept hassling her with silly endless questions by text yet seemingly had trouble calling her up when it came down to it.
I wouldn't take any of it personally, its just the apparent accessibility of a person on the end of a phone that appeals to them I think really.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 29 February 2012, 01:16:20 pm
I require your remarks/opinion , as you are an escort, also well experienced which makes you most suitable for providing a remark/opinion.

If you kindly could make your HONEST and TRUE remarks. I've a micro-cock and my cock is exceptionally tiny, there are 3 pic in my profile if you could kindly view them of ERECTED cock.

I?m specifically concerned with penetrative sex and how the women feels doing sex with my cock. So while making remarks assume if YOU are doing it, whether would you feel cock inside u, feel it touching the right places in vagina, feel it humping in vagina OR wont feel it inside u. As most say sex is all about clit stimulation, but as per the info I?ve gathered over net, it says penetration is also equally pleasurable for women when her vaginal walls are rubbed by cock as she has most nerve endings in vagina AND also that she also enjoys the cock cumming inside her. So in brief if you kindly tell as to how would you feel if doing my cock.

Your remarks will help me a lot, as to generally understand my potential and as well as to what extend a women would get pleasured with my cock size, to what extend would she get turned off and how you actually think of it, or even laugh on it. So please be honest, no matter how harsh you think your remarks are.

Much much thanks for your time and for sincere and honest remarks. Love xxx

 :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 29 February 2012, 05:53:22 pm
This is the same idiot that keeps contacting me - I think his outcome is small cock humiliation. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wendyanne on 29 February 2012, 06:07:45 pm
wait till you get the rest of his emails you will be chuckiling your head of belive me they get worse and funnier
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 29 February 2012, 06:26:28 pm
Quote from: Friday on 29 February 2012, 01:16:20 pm
I require your remarks/opinion , as you are an escort, also well experienced which makes you most suitable for providing a remark/opinion.

If you kindly could make your HONEST and TRUE remarks. I've a micro-cock and my cock is exceptionally tiny, there are 3 pic in my profile if you could kindly view them of ERECTED cock.

I?m specifically concerned with penetrative sex and how the women feels doing sex with my cock. So while making remarks assume if YOU are doing it, whether would you feel cock inside u, feel it touching the right places in vagina, feel it humping in vagina OR wont feel it inside u. As most say sex is all about clit stimulation, but as per the info I?ve gathered over net, it says penetration is also equally pleasurable for women when her vaginal walls are rubbed by cock as she has most nerve endings in vagina AND also that she also enjoys the cock cumming inside her. So in brief if you kindly tell as to how would you feel if doing my cock.

Your remarks will help me a lot, as to generally understand my potential and as well as to what extend a women would get pleasured with my cock size, to what extend would she get turned off and how you actually think of it, or even laugh on it. So please be honest, no matter how harsh you think your remarks are.

Much much thanks for your time and for sincere and honest remarks. Love xxx

 :-\

This same loser keeps sending me the same message!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissThang on 29 February 2012, 07:41:01 pm
I've joined the club today. I noticed he sends an average of 50 emails every time he logs in. On those grounds, I reported him as a spammer   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 29 February 2012, 08:21:44 pm
maybe we should all send him exactly the same message!!!  On other thoughts no thats probably what this guys wants some attention poor little soul mush have lost his way!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 29 February 2012, 11:19:07 pm
Quote from: Kristina Bristol Escort on 29 February 2012, 08:21:44 pm
maybe we should all send him exactly the same message!!!  On other thoughts no thats probably what this guys wants some attention poor little soul mush have lost his way!

Yes, fantastic idea! x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: divine_madonna on 01 March 2012, 12:50:03 am
Quote from: MissThang on 29 February 2012, 07:41:01 pm
I've joined the club today. I noticed he sends an average of 50 emails every time he logs in. On those grounds, I reported him as a spammer   ;D

Me too - had same email couple of days ago - maybe if we all did it he would be removed from AW?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lillylilly on 01 March 2012, 06:15:20 am
     This guy was just so fucking ridiculous that i have to post it.
He seemed normal for about 30 seconds but then i asked for his name, and he said he couldn't give it because of his " really important, high stakes job" and "why should you get my name if i don't get yours" so we go back and forth for a little while, but eventually i give up. As soon as i start ignoring him, he gives me his name and we start  planning the booking. Then he asks me to take a picture specifically for him in this weird pose so that he knows "i  am who i say i am" i almost didn't do it but i had already spent hours talking to him that i didn't want to be wasted
    So i think it's finally  all set up and then he asks me to cut my rate in half and of course i told him too bad it's not gonna work out (i thought he had a super important high stakes job). And then he starts listing all the reasons that i should let him pay half: i don't have big boobs, i'm too skinny, i'm short, and on and on. He thinks that i should just basically be happy that he wants to give me any money at all,
    I had spend all day nursing this guy's insecurities about sending his name and what have you so i just kind of lost it and told him "i've been really accommodating of you since this is obviously your first time but fyi it's really fucking rude to send a girl a list of everything you don't like about her. I am clearly not your type but believe it or not there are guys out there who actually find me attractive so i'm not nearly as desperate for your money as seem to think which is why i can tell you to go fuck your self" ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: figa98 on 01 March 2012, 09:13:59 am
I have had it too recently.I would not have given him all that attention lilly,thats what he wants.Ignore the looser.
Got this one this morning.
I am experimenting taking private come shots.I am would only make you a copy to use on your private gallery.Please contact to arrange your requirements.
LOL
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 01 March 2012, 12:33:22 pm
Any guy who emails me asking for my "advice" or opinion on their cock/girlfriend/cookery skills, my reply is along the lines of: "please send me your email address so that I can send my advice and invoice you for my time". Usually stops the emails. Until a few months later and they forget who they've spammed and start again :D

Cheers me up, anyway ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 01 March 2012, 01:45:17 pm
Quote from: lillylilly on 01 March 2012, 06:15:20 am
     This guy was just so fucking ridiculous that i have to post it.
He seemed normal for about 30 seconds but then i asked for his name, and he said he couldn't give it because of his " really important, high stakes job" and "why should you get my name if i don't get yours" so we go back and forth for a little while, but eventually i give up. As soon as i start ignoring him, he gives me his name and we start  planning the booking. Then he asks me to take a picture specifically for him in this weird pose so that he knows "i  am who i say i am" i almost didn't do it but i had already spent hours talking to him that i didn't want to be wasted
    So i think it's finally  all set up and then he asks me to cut my rate in half and of course i told him too bad it's not gonna work out (i thought he had a super important high stakes job). And then he starts listing all the reasons that i should let him pay half: i don't have big boobs, i'm too skinny, i'm short, and on and on. He thinks that i should just basically be happy that he wants to give me any money at all,
    I had spend all day nursing this guy's insecurities about sending his name and what have you so i just kind of lost it and told him "i've been really accommodating of you since this is obviously your first time but fyi it's really fucking rude to send a girl a list of everything you don't like about her. I am clearly not your type but believe it or not there are guys out there who actually find me attractive so i'm not nearly as desperate for your money as seem to think which is why i can tell you to go fuck your self" ;D

Lilly, the first 30 seconds was the maximum you should have spent on this loser.  :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 01 March 2012, 03:42:08 pm
Received last night!

'Hi Juliette my name is Michael, I've just seen your adultwork advert, was wondering if I could take a shot in the dark and see if you accept items worth money rather than actual cash.
It's just I don't get paid until Monday now, and have been away on holiday, I really want to see you though.
Let me know either way thanks.

x'

Gold bullion would be nice, but seriously go down to the pawn shop and sort it out yourself!
You have absolutely no money and yet are contemplating seeing an escort? I find it pretty hard to be sympathetic with this sort of crap, do none of these guys have savings plans or any sort of mechanism whereby they put money aside???
Your half-hour rate is ?60 and I want to offer 50 ('as that's all I have'), so you're going to make yourself penniless! Seriously!?
What do you mean this is 'all I have'? You must be pretty bloody stupid if you truly only have ?50 in the entire world and want to spend it on a 30 minute sex session!  :FF ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MISS RUBY on 01 March 2012, 06:27:40 pm
HEY LADY JENNA I ALSO GOT AN E MAIL FROM OLD MICRO COCK
YESTERDAY I JUST BLOCKED HIM!
HOPE HE GIVES HIMSELF A HEART ATTACK  WHEN HE CUMS IN HIS Y  FRONTS!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 01 March 2012, 07:30:36 pm
Ruby, I don't know if it's some sort of problem with your keyboard but can you please stop posting in all capitals? It's rude to shout at other members, against the forum guidelines and making me want to jump off something high.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RedLady1991 on 01 March 2012, 10:24:27 pm
Quote from: amy on 01 March 2012, 07:30:36 pm
and making me want to jump off something high.

This made me giggle  ;D

Keeping on topic...had a call yesterday from a bloke who kept.going on about his massive ten inch cock...and would I be able to.handle it.blah blah.

Reassured him once, then when he kept going on about it, I told him to stop wanking down the phone and either book a appt or leave me alone. Didnt give him a chance to reply and hung up!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: duskymaiden on 01 March 2012, 10:41:55 pm
Quote from: Juliette on 01 March 2012, 03:42:08 pm
Received last night!

'Hi Juliette my name is Michael, I've just seen your adultwork advert, was wondering if I could take a shot in the dark and see if you accept items worth money rather than actual cash.
It's just I don't get paid until Monday now, and have been away on holiday, I really want to see you though.
Let me know either way thanks.

x'

Gold bullion would be nice, but seriously go down to the pawn shop and sort it out yourself!
You have absolutely no money and yet are contemplating seeing an escort? I find it pretty hard to be sympathetic with this sort of crap, do none of these guys have savings plans or any sort of mechanism whereby they put money aside???
Your half-hour rate is ?60 and I want to offer 50 ('as that's all I have'), so you're going to make yourself penniless! Seriously!?
What do you mean this is 'all I have'? You must be pretty bloody stupid if you truly only have ?50 in the entire world and want to spend it on a 30 minute sex session!  :FF ???
Dear god, what a tosspot! Words truly fail me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 01 March 2012, 11:31:47 pm
Got a text

  Can you Call me please? followed by number
  To call me now,press the Send/Call button.
   Thank you!

Called few minutes later for a booking,of course no show.How he could afford an appointment,when had no credit to call ::) It was sooo obvious from the beginnig,idiot
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 02 March 2012, 08:01:11 am
Quote from: browneyedgirl on 01 March 2012, 10:41:55 pm
Quote from: Juliette on 01 March 2012, 03:42:08 pm
Received last night!

'Hi Juliette my name is Michael, I've just seen your adultwork advert, was wondering if I could take a shot in the dark and see if you accept items worth money rather than actual cash.
It's just I don't get paid until Monday now, and have been away on holiday, I really want to see you though.
Let me know either way thanks.

x'

Gold bullion would be nice, but seriously go down to the pawn shop and sort it out yourself!
You have absolutely no money and yet are contemplating seeing an escort? I find it pretty hard to be sympathetic with this sort of crap, do none of these guys have savings plans or any sort of mechanism whereby they put money aside???
Your half-hour rate is ?60 and I want to offer 50 ('as that's all I have'), so you're going to make yourself penniless! Seriously!?
What do you mean this is 'all I have'? You must be pretty bloody stupid if you truly only have ?50 in the entire world and want to spend it on a 30 minute sex session!  :FF ???
Dear god, what a tosspot! Words truly fail me.

I know I've been attracting so many people with 'fee' problems recently who want to try it on, its pretty soul-destroying really especially when my prices are very much at the cheaper end of the scale anyway and I don't skip on services offered.

If I ever met a haggler the experience for him would be so lousy I doubt it'd be worth it, plus I wouldn't be happy he wouldn't be a total prick and ask for some money back.

I think its better not to see those with 'money issues' at all, if they've brought the subject up and don't understand that they've just ruined the experience for themselves entirely making me bitter by kind of suggesting that maybe I'm 'not worth it' then they're going to be a complete pain in the arse to deal with in a session too.

I can appreciate people are a bit hard-up at the moment but so am I! :'(

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 02 March 2012, 08:43:49 am
Text - "I will go down on you and give you the biggest orgasms of your life.  In exchange you will want to f**k me for free".

Dream on sunshine.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 02 March 2012, 09:27:39 am
Quote from: Juliette on 02 March 2012, 08:01:11 am
Quote from: browneyedgirl on 01 March 2012, 10:41:55 pm
Quote from: Juliette on 01 March 2012, 03:42:08 pm
Received last night!

'Hi Juliette my name is Michael, I've just seen your adultwork advert, was wondering if I could take a shot in the dark and see if you accept items worth money rather than actual cash.
It's just I don't get paid until Monday now, and have been away on holiday, I really want to see you though.
Let me know either way thanks.

x'

Gold bullion would be nice, but seriously go down to the pawn shop and sort it out yourself!
You have absolutely no money and yet are contemplating seeing an escort? I find it pretty hard to be sympathetic with this sort of crap, do none of these guys have savings plans or any sort of mechanism whereby they put money aside???
Your half-hour rate is ?60 and I want to offer 50 ('as that's all I have'), so you're going to make yourself penniless! Seriously!?
What do you mean this is 'all I have'? You must be pretty bloody stupid if you truly only have ?50 in the entire world and want to spend it on a 30 minute sex session!  :FF ???
Dear god, what a tosspot! Words truly fail me.

I know I've been attracting so many people with 'fee' problems recently who want to try it on, its pretty soul-destroying really especially when my prices are very much at the cheaper end of the scale anyway and I don't skip on services offered.

If I ever met a haggler the experience for him would be so lousy I doubt it'd be worth it, plus I wouldn't be happy he wouldn't be a total prick and ask for some money back.

I think its better not to see those with 'money issues' at all, if they've brought the subject up and don't understand that they've just ruined the experience for themselves entirely making me bitter by kind of suggesting that maybe I'm 'not worth it' then they're going to be a complete pain in the arse to deal with in a session too.

I can appreciate people are a bit hard-up at the moment but so am I! :'(

Yep, someone contacted me recently and said they'd like to see me again but only had ?x amount - where x amount was not the fee for the time requested. Now this person is known for being unreliable, sending lots and lots of texts when setting up bookings and had only turned up to one appointment, another just didn't confirm despite loads of texts.

I made it clear he definitely wasn't a candidate for a discount, that he'd buggered about in the past too much, and was leaning that way again now. Ok he said I'll have the full money for the booking. Come the day I get a message saying "Sorry only got ?x (the same lower amount)". I did wonder if he was hoping I'd be desperate for the booking, and thus say "Aw, come anyway", but I didn't.

I've noticed it's more often than not, those who muck about most who ask for or expect discount. Does it not occur to them that if a discount is available, then being reliable, making things straight forward might make the SP more amenable?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 02 March 2012, 10:03:36 am
Why isn't it obvious to them that the thing to do would be come back when you have the money!?

Instead of putting the SP off you for good and souring any kind of positive feelings you could have given them why not just save your pennies and come back when you're in a better position!?

In any case I really don't buy the whole I haven't got x amount of money thing, its more that they don't want to part with the cash - which is fine but in that case why are you trying to book escorts? Join a dating or swingers site instead...

I can usually ignore a few hagglers calling but this week I've only had the one booking and the rest has been exactly this sort of disrespectful chancer. As soon as they mention issues with my fees I'm completely dead to the idea of seeing them.

In any case it only makes you worry more about any possible booking with them - i.e. is he even going to bring the right cash, will he quibble when he gets here, tell you the service isn't good enough ask for some back etc? Why should I spend an hour getting myself ready, showering and doing my make-up then invite someone like this into my flat?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 02 March 2012, 10:24:15 am
Quote from: pandora on 02 March 2012, 08:43:49 am
Text - "I will go down on you and give you the biggest orgasms of your life.  In exchange you will want to f**k me for free".

Dream on sunshine.

Why do so men assume that we would ever fuck them for free? Unbelievable. I don't care if you look like Brad Pitt; I ain't shagging you for free. Simples.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 02 March 2012, 12:27:48 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 02 March 2012, 10:24:15 am
Quote from: pandora on 02 March 2012, 08:43:49 am
Text - "I will go down on you and give you the biggest orgasms of your life.  In exchange you will want to f**k me for free".

Dream on sunshine.

Why do so men assume that we would ever fuck them for free? Unbelievable. I don't care if you look like Brad Pitt; I ain't shagging you for free. Simples.

That.  I wouldn't even have dinner for free.

I too have noticed that men who ask for discounts are also more likely to mess you around.  Not always though, I do have at least one client who is the most unreliable, most flaky man I have EVER come across, yet he is always polite and always tips.

Men huh.  Don't understand them, can't bury them alive.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MISS RUBY on 02 March 2012, 12:34:55 pm
Apologies to you all for typing in capitals, had been using the mobile and its so tiny cant see the screen too well!
Have a good weekend all
Ruby x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RoxyBlu on 02 March 2012, 04:08:58 pm
My favorite email of the day.... even though it is so not my thing!  ::)

Hi Roxy!

You seem my type! Please check my profile - I've had some great feedback but not used escorts for a while.

I'm a kinky bastard and wondered if you could provide the following service? I am heading down to The Hambles on Friday 23rd for a stag and thought to kick off the weekend with a bang! I'll be interchanging at Southampton Central Stn by the middle of the afternoon and wondered if you could meet me at the Stn dressed as a whore under your long coat? You'd be wearing big heels, a short skirt with your arse nearly showing and a tight vest top with your big juggs nearly hanging out - all covered under your coat.

We walk or if you have a car we could drive to local quiet spot (outside), maybe a wood, disused building or round the back of an industrial park or something where it would be quite safe but a little risky to get caught. I'd then like to put a collar on you and use you like a complete slut on a lead for an hour of outdoor fun and filth.

Be prepared to get used and abused and sent on your way again all spoiled afterwards!

Whaddya think?! Get in touch if you think it sounds like fun!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SophiaPrice1 on 02 March 2012, 04:51:27 pm
Quote from: RoxyBlu on 02 March 2012, 04:08:58 pm
My favorite email of the day.... even though it is so not my thing!  ::)

Hi Roxy!

You seem my type! Please check my profile - I've had some great feedback but not used escorts for a while.

I'm a kinky bastard and wondered if you could provide the following service? I am heading down to The Hambles on Friday 23rd for a stag and thought to kick off the weekend with a bang! I'll be interchanging at Southampton Central Stn by the middle of the afternoon and wondered if you could meet me at the Stn dressed as a whore under your long coat? You'd be wearing big heels, a short skirt with your arse nearly showing and a tight vest top with your big juggs nearly hanging out - all covered under your coat.

We walk or if you have a car we could drive to local quiet spot (outside), maybe a wood, disused building or round the back of an industrial park or something where it would be quite safe but a little risky to get caught. I'd then like to put a collar on you and use you like a complete slut on a lead for an hour of outdoor fun and filth.

Be prepared to get used and abused and sent on your way again all spoiled afterwards!

Whaddya think?! Get in touch if you think it sounds like fun!

Hahahahahahahahahaha...hahahahaha...and I'm done. Honestly, I can't wait to start getting some of these weird emails!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 03 March 2012, 03:07:19 pm
I had a guy call me last night and say -

'Hi, I'm basically after someone to measure my cock and tell me what they think of it.'

Idiot. :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Taylor on 03 March 2012, 04:35:47 pm
Quote from: RoxyBlu on 02 March 2012, 04:08:58 pm
My favorite email of the day.... even though it is so not my thing!  ::)

Hi Roxy!

You seem my type! Please check my profile - I've had some great feedback but not used escorts for a while.

I'm a kinky bastard and wondered if you could provide the following service? I am heading down to The Hambles on Friday 23rd for a stag and thought to kick off the weekend with a bang! I'll be interchanging at Southampton Central Stn by the middle of the afternoon and wondered if you could meet me at the Stn dressed as a whore under your long coat? You'd be wearing big heels, a short skirt with your arse nearly showing and a tight vest top with your big juggs nearly hanging out - all covered under your coat.

We walk or if you have a car we could drive to local quiet spot (outside), maybe a wood, disused building or round the back of an industrial park or something where it would be quite safe but a little risky to get caught. I'd then like to put a collar on you and use you like a complete slut on a lead for an hour of outdoor fun and filth.

Be prepared to get used and abused and sent on your way again all spoiled afterwards!

Whaddya think?! Get in touch if you think it sounds like fun!

Yuk, i would reply try a street hooker love!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 03 March 2012, 05:53:18 pm
How about this one?

"hi gorgeous

I visit girls regular for a 5 min session

im not into sex or anything

I wud just like 2 have a wank whilst ur licking my nipples and spitting in my mouth plz.
(I dont want you to take any clothes off or dress up or anythin)

The girls i visit now charge me ?10 for this service.

Wud u offer this type of service, and how much wud it be

Wud luv to c u today if possible

Thanx"

:FF


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 03 March 2012, 07:15:56 pm
5 minutes!! ;D ;D ;D ;D

Surely he could do it for free at home!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 03 March 2012, 08:28:49 pm
I'm sure I'm not the only one to receive this....but he needs to make up his mind! It's NOT a sex service? But signs off "sexy licking"? I doubt he'll get many bookings if he can't decide if he's a sexy service or not...and on AW too! *removes tongue from cheek*

Hi my name is john. I am a professional massage therapist. i am working in central London massage parlour. i am from Singapore. I came to London for two year research about massage. So give you this free offer.

Now i give you offer one hour free Thai Singapore body relax massage. This is not sexual service. If you like please reply me or call to my mobile. Totally i give you free full body relax massage for one hour. I can come to your place. Remember this is not sexual service. If you like please send me your mobile number and when you want massage? What time you want massage? Please send me reply soon. Offer end date march 15th. This is my mobile 074662898**.
Professional
Lovely kisses from
John.


sexy licking from
sex John


EDITED TO ADD - OMG LADIES, if you get a message from him, don't click on his profile if you're eating your tea or taking a drink, you will lose it! He has the shiniest cock I've ever seen! I need to clean my screen now, it's got wine spray on it! ;D :D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 04 March 2012, 03:43:10 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 03 March 2012, 08:28:49 pm


EDITED TO ADD - OMG LADIES, if you get a message from him, don't click on his profile if you're eating your tea or taking a drink, you will lose it! He has the shiniest cock I've ever seen! I need to clean my screen now, it's got wine spray on it! ;D :D :D

Now that's just not fair Cat...send me his profile details at once LOL
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lillylilly on 04 March 2012, 06:20:18 am
Quote from: Purple Carrot on 03 March 2012, 05:53:18 pm
The girls i visit now charge me ?10 for this service.
Do they honestly believe anyone would bother to get dressed and leave the house for that? Some pig asked me to do a half hour for 15, i burst out laughing
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 04 March 2012, 05:59:07 pm
Existing client from a year ago.  {An old boy}
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverbird on 04 March 2012, 06:04:56 pm
Up until 3 yrs ago, I've dedicated my whole working life to caring for elderly frail people.
You are a diamond Jodie T, bless ya;-)

W.x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsummer on 04 March 2012, 08:54:15 pm
Just got this message on AW: I am wondering whether you would be interested in helping me live out a fantasy of mine. My fantasy is that we arrange to meet for a drink or a coffee somewhere. I have brought with me a (brand new) remote vibrator. You go to the bathroom and put it on and then come back to the table where we are sat. I have the remote control and am in control and i can sit and watch you squirm as you enjoy a discreet but public orgasm as we chat. We finish our drinks and then walk back to your place or a hotel. You are still wearing the vibrator. We then take to the bedroom and enjoy a normal gfe

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SophiaPrice1 on 04 March 2012, 09:59:03 pm
A guy emailed me asking me for details of my services to which I replied "all my services and rates are on my AW profile, please have a look at it" he replied the following:

could you go on msn then for 2 mins only? i'd not keep you long and would go on cam myself x nothing rude or anything x a*********n@hotmail.co.uk

hahaha...sure mate, I've nothing better to do!!




[Edited to censor email address.]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: figa98 on 04 March 2012, 11:06:47 pm
Adriana,I have had many requests over the years asking for me to stick some toy up me up while they tease me over dinner or a drink at the bar,I wish,would be a scream if it ever worked out.I find most of the time they have all these ideas and requests,but they seem to quickly forget them when you actually meet,have a chat and head to the bedroom.I should maybe remind them at times as would be great fun,not expecting to feel that horny but would be funny x x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 05 March 2012, 12:34:36 am
Quote from: Adriana on 04 March 2012, 08:54:15 pm
I have brought with me a (brand new) remote vibrator. You go to the bathroom and put it on and then come back to the table where we are sat. I have the remote control and am in control and i can sit and watch you squirm as you enjoy a discreet but public orgasm as we chat.

I've done that!
Back in '04, IIRC, at the Skin Two Expo in the Barbican Exhibition Centre
I went with 6 or 8 friends, but prior to going, Master R thought it would be interesting to insert an E-Stim (http://shop.e-stim.co.uk/) up my backside!
(I have a very pervy history!)
Anyway, six of us went to the event, and the remote control was passed from person to person.
The remote enabled the holder to alter the wave pattern and intensity.
Anyway, a loose wire / connection resulted in the remote only having an intermittent effect,
so one person, figuring nothing was happening, held down the intensity button. A second later
the wire connected and a powerful series of jolts hit my body
and I hit the roof in shock.
In the middle of a crowd of curious onlookers.
Being a pervy type Expo, a lot of them guessed what was going on and giggles all round.
Hummmm....

These days I prefer a cuppa in my local cafe.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: improbablecats on 05 March 2012, 12:41:36 am
Quote from: Adriana on 04 March 2012, 08:54:15 pm
Just got this message on AW: I am wondering whether you would be interested in helping me live out a fantasy of mine. My fantasy is that we arrange to meet for a drink or a coffee somewhere. I have brought with me a (brand new) remote vibrator. You go to the bathroom and put it on and then come back to the table where we are sat. I have the remote control and am in control and i can sit and watch you squirm as you enjoy a discreet but public orgasm as we chat. We finish our drinks and then walk back to your place or a hotel. You are still wearing the vibrator. We then take to the bedroom and enjoy a normal gfe

 ::)

I got this too. SIGHHH
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 05 March 2012, 12:53:43 am
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 05 March 2012, 01:09:56 pm
Jodie you do make me laugh! LOL! Thank you!  ;D

I think the worst I've had was a direct email asking me if I had any more racy photos I could send the guy and also did I offer discounts? Sure, you're clearly a very 'special' person!  :FF

I do get a few of the obvious timewasting messages (who doesn't?) but just bin them all as soon as  I recognise them as copy and paste to be honest! Oh I did have a booking request thru AW earlier for a time I'm not available, for an hour at half an hours rate! No previous messages or anything! Tut! I'd like to think my profile pretty much spells out my availability rates sufficiently...  ::)

On another note (I'm on a roll now!) I had 2 texts and 2 calls last night from a local gent asking me to do an overnight booking, last night! His first message was 19.45  :FF I was clearly in a good mood this morning, or should that be horny after a week off...? So replied explaining I hadn't been working and confirming when I'm available etc, he's calling me in an hour so he may not be 'one of them', we'll see!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: La-lique on 05 March 2012, 06:31:02 pm
.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsummer on 05 March 2012, 07:36:53 pm
That made me laugh Jodie, a lot of guys seems to be turned on by the thought of remote controlled virators!

improbablecats, Haha, and there I was thinking I was special ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 05 March 2012, 10:06:20 pm
Quote from: La-lique on 05 March 2012, 06:31:02 pm
Yawn ::)  it almost seems too tedious for a posting on here, so sorry in advance lol, I almost felt disappointed in the last paragraph where he fails to mention the word 'cock' for the Eeleventh time!!

I know you are here for booking and money, BUT neither am I wasting any of your time. I'm also into real booking but like to inquire about these few things prior to book:

1) Will you be able to give oral on my cock?? You won?t mind if I go for a deep throating???

2) Can I manage to penetrate you?? And give you a nice humping fuck with my cock???Or would not feel it inside. Sex With condom though

3) Will I touch your G-spot with my cock??

4) Could you manage a tit job on my cock?? Though if you reckon your boobs are big enough to take a cock in between them and give a tit wank

5) Could we do all sex positions with my cock??

My above questions are in regard to my cock. Whether those things could happen with my cock or not.

I asked the above questions from few escorts whom I?ve seen. So answer these to your most honesty, and I?ll remind you your answers after seeing you, as to whether was the experience really as you thought.

There are few cock pictures in my profile, if you could kindly view them. When it is flaccid, it more like a hole/vagina, but when erect, at least its visible. So the pics are of ERECTED cock. Trust me the cock pics in my profile is really me and with the same cock, I will show you that you were substantially wrong with your answers to my question. I?ve just discovered a way around, which I?ll tell you once I've seen you. But for now, answer as exactly and honestly you think the answer is.

If you are not willing, please let me know as then I wont wait for your reply. And if you are interested, answer those but not just yes/no, but as to how you think those things will go.

LMAO...thanks for sharing that, I needed a laugh:-)
So did you reply to the 'cock'? lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RedLady1991 on 05 March 2012, 10:36:10 pm
"a nice humping fuck"  ;D ;D ;D

This thread is amusing to me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 07 March 2012, 01:31:39 pm
It's been getting worse, from what I can see...

"Hello baby,

I am so pleased to write you. You really look beautiful and would love to meet you.
I am doing my best to be short and direct so there is no misunderstand overall. This is my proposal, I really hope it will fit you and will be acceptable to you:

I would like to invite you to Morocco (Casablanca) for 1 nights in a nice hotel of the city. I will give you the name of the hotel and book the room under you name if it will make you comfortable. Of course I will provide you with a prepaid round trip plane ticket.

I would love to fulfill one of my fantasies with a superb looking lady as you. Please allow me to describe it: it is to spend one night full of sex trying to measure how many times I am able to “cum”. I have tried the same plan before and I could realize 6 times. I would love to challenge this number and see if I could? Could you help me in this ? please let me know.

Due to my family obligation I will not unfortunately be able to enjoy any outside activities with you.What a shame from my side. This is to spend this day/night with you at the hotel practicing sex. I know this is no much fun for you but it is really the situation so I prefer to let you know before and hope you tolerate. Our relation and interaction during all this time will be purely sexual.

If this is acceptable to you please could you inform me about your conditions (pricewise) or others so we can pursue further.
I am open to any of your questions."

Brand new profile with zero feedback, I just wish they could (as Jodie would put it) 'fuck off and die'!  :FF  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 07 March 2012, 03:29:00 pm
Quote from: Purple Carrot on 07 March 2012, 01:31:39 pm
It's been getting worse, from what I can see...  overall.
This is my proposal, I really hope it will fit you and will be acceptable to you:--------

Brand new profile with zero feedback, I just wish they could 'fuck off and die'!  :FF  :D
We shortened that to:FOAD!   
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 07 March 2012, 08:13:24 pm
FOAD...lmao....love love love it:-)  I'm using that from now on!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 07 March 2012, 08:16:58 pm
So am I ;) Love the video too!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 07 March 2012, 11:32:45 pm
I've had the most irritating client on my case this week. He made an appointment, which he shortly cancelled afterwards because he said it was 'too far.' It turns out he's only 5 minutes from me. He has been texting all week - and I haven't replied once :-\ - saying that he's got a tonne of champagne and wants me to help him drink it, blah blah blah. Obviously a fantasist. I told him to get a grip and pester someone else, and then he asks if he can book an overnight?!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sara1980 on 07 March 2012, 11:54:01 pm
Wow. A couple of 'trial sessions'. Just Wow!  :FF

Please forgive my random email to you.

I am looking for something in particular which may or may not be of interest to you, if it is not of interest I apologise in advance for this message, if it is of interest please do not hesitate to get in touch.

I am looking to start a regular meeting with one person who is ideally based in Newcastle or the surrounding area. The meetings will be fairly frequent and consistent. To begin with however it will need to comprise of a couple of 15 minute appointments in order to determine if we are right for each other.

I am hoping for a very long term agreement with one person only hense the need for a couple of 'trial' sessions prior to a more guaranteed set up.

Ideally I would like to try different sexual experiences so if you are open to lots of different things that would be appealing.

If any of this appeals please do let me know. Ideally I am looking for a combination of low price first few visits, (higher) set price thereafter with a plethora of new experiences to be had and a happy friendly person to meet.

If this long term opportunity is of interest to you please do come back to me.

Thanks,

Deluded twat who is just asking to be told to FOAD.

(Thanks Jodie  ;D )
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 08 March 2012, 03:05:40 pm
Hi Alice, I sent an sms earlier today. Please accept my apologies for being too cowardly to phone. Is owo ok once you have checked that I am clean? ??? :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 08 March 2012, 06:13:57 pm
New message from AW

Hi, I was just looking at your ad and have to say you are very attractive I?m 21 and a student and I was just wondering if you maybe did student discounts haha. I?m not sure but I was thinking you might like have a hot young boy toy to have fun with hehe x
 
Another deluded male escort ::) I'm not into kids ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kinky Starlet on 08 March 2012, 11:24:26 pm
Quote from: blondi33 on 08 March 2012, 06:13:57 pm
New message from AW

Hi, I was just looking at your ad and have to say you are very attractive I?m 21 and a student and I was just wondering if you maybe did student discounts haha. I?m not sure but I was thinking you might like have a hot young boy toy to have fun with hehe x
 
Another deluded male escort ::) I'm not into kids ;D

I got this one today too. Replied and said he'd be better off asking for his discount in his local ann summers and buying a toy. Better value for money and will last longer.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 09 March 2012, 01:10:38 pm
Caller: 'So how many times can I cum?'
Me: 'I've no idea you'll have to answer that question yourself'

 :FF ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 09 March 2012, 05:20:13 pm
I get that as well^

I think its down to men going to parlours and discovering to their dismay they have to pay extra for extra cum's. 

The cheapskates.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 09 March 2012, 05:33:49 pm
Quote from: EvaBeeva on 09 March 2012, 05:20:13 pm
I get that as well^

I think its down to men going to parlours and discovering to their dismay they have to pay extra for extra cum's. 

The cheapskates.

Such a ridiculous question to ask when you apparently only want to pay for a 30 minute session anyway! How much ejaculation do they normally expect to happen during that short a length of time? The mind boggles.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 09 March 2012, 05:49:24 pm
Quote from: Juliette on 09 March 2012, 05:33:49 pm
How much ejaculation do they normally expect to happen during that short a length of time? The mind boggles.

 ;D ;D ;D  I don't think I want to imagine that actually..   :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverbird on 09 March 2012, 10:55:25 pm
Quote from: D.3 on 09 March 2012, 09:27:52 pm
Idiot: "I'm just having a look at your pictures and wanted to let you know I'm having a ..."

Me: "Oooh that's nice, well enjoy your evening!" [I hang up promptly]

I still can't shake my polite telephone voice when saying this though...  :FF

 ;D ;D ;D
I had a guy call today, worked his way up to asking for bareback. Had a quietly spoken, very polite voice and before I knew it, I had replied in that same polite, telephone voice.
Soon as the call ended I thought 'shame on me', why didn't I give him a hard time?
Saturation of the brain maybe???
W.x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 10 March 2012, 09:09:38 am
Quote from: Juliette on 09 March 2012, 01:10:38 pm
Caller: 'So how many times can I cum?'
"It's up to you sweety.
But you must tell me and write the figure on the whiteboard with a marker-pen
then keep to it.
Oh, also you have to cum each time I tell you....at the end of a five second countdown"   :o
I really say this.  8)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 10 March 2012, 09:23:12 am
Quote from: JodieTs on 10 March 2012, 09:09:38 am
Quote from: Juliette on 09 March 2012, 01:10:38 pm
Caller: 'So how many times can I cum?'
"It's up to you sweety.
But you must tell me and write the figure on the whiteboard with a marker-pen
then keep to it.
Oh, also you have to cum each time I tell you....at the end of a five second countdown"   :o
I really say this.  8)

And the sad reality is they'll probably barely only manage one 'cum' before they call it quits despite all the talk!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 10 March 2012, 09:59:08 am
And they have the 'post-orgasm' second thought regrets
and can't get their clothes on and out the front door fast enough?
I totally love that bit too.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 10 March 2012, 01:00:12 pm
Text from delusional idiot:  You have a free place tonight for licking for the whole hour, face sitting been rimmed and anal and trying to get me to cum 3 times

me no reponse sent

Text from delusional idiot:  Oh well another time with luck, you must be busy

Me no response

Well I was gutted I missed that one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  With luck hopefully never thank you.  I would rather be busy watching paint dry
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 10 March 2012, 04:17:05 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 10 March 2012, 09:59:08 am
And they have the 'post-orgasm' second thought regrets
and can't get their clothes on and out the front door fast enough?
I totally love that bit too.  ;D

I don't know I always feel as if I've swindled them somehow but its their choice really! How do you value something like sex/bodily contact in money terms though!?
They either gel with me well and get something positive out of it or its just a really awkward experience for the two of us which has them leaving in a funny state maybe even feeling a bit embarassed. I'm surprised some times when this happens that they don't try to claw their money back not that I'd allow them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luvmylips on 10 March 2012, 10:48:01 pm
Had this gem tonight:


Hi and hello,
I am Tom from Germany, a businessman and I want to come to your country and stay there for a longer time.
My homecountry is the niciest area from germany called ``Bodensee``.
I am 48 yo 186cm 90kg, darkbrown curled hair, length between the shoulders, tattoo above my ass, my cock is fully shaved and 11 inch(28cm) long, 8 inch(20cm) around, i hope its not too big, i love all kinds of sex and i will do it as often i can, 3 or 4 times in one session, i have extrem loads of sperm, many of my last girlfriends said its to much, i hope not for you?
I would like to meet you, i am looking for a friendship (or more), not hopping every day to another!
Kisses Tom


Oh the joys of this job!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 11 March 2012, 03:21:36 am
For Gods sake  :FF
Do they not think there is a clue in the title Adult WORK....or if it wasn't there they found you, I'm sure your web site doesn't say FREE DATING SITE!
Oh I'm so frustrated with men this week, and your message has just sent me over the edge! lol

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RoxyBlu on 11 March 2012, 08:16:51 pm

Hi baby, looking for a simple blowjob with cim or facial to finish.......30 mins should be plenty, happy to pay ?150 for the right girl? Is that you? X

My response to this delightful chap...

I am not sure if you will be able to get My strap on to cum in your mouth but you can give it a go. Or did you mean Me sucking your cock? If you did then you either cannot read a profile or you are a fucking idiot. Probably both.

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 11 March 2012, 08:53:02 pm
Quote from: Coty on 11 March 2012, 03:21:36 am
For Gods sake  :FF
Do they not think there is a clue in the title Adult WORK....or if it wasn't there they found you, I'm sure your web site doesn't say FREE DATING SITE!
Oh I'm so frustrated with men this week, and your message has just sent me over the edge! lol

I don't understand why everyone assumes you're looking for a relationship! I would have thought offering personal services kind of marks you out as being the complete antithesis of a relationship type of person but Mr Punter apparently thinks different.

'Don't you want a boyfriend?' no absolutely I do not why the hell are you asking?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 11 March 2012, 11:58:28 pm
Quote from: Juliette on 11 March 2012, 08:53:02 pm

I don't understand why everyone assumes you're looking for a relationship! I would have thought offering personal services kind of marks you out as being the complete antithesis of a relationship type of person but Mr Punter apparently thinks different.

'Don't you want a boyfriend?' no absolutely I do not why the hell are you asking?

I've actually put on my website, at the end of my profile in capital letters...I am not looking for a boyfriend, fuck buddy, toyboy or Master, this is my chosen profession! Try OKcupid or The slave register.
LOL :P

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 13 March 2012, 12:51:24 am
Quote from: D.3 on 11 March 2012, 11:48:46 pm
Confused Caller: 'Are you available?'

Me: 'I'm afraid you're going to have to let me know a time and date when you'd like to make a booking for as that's a bit vague and I don't know when you'd like to see me'

Confused Caller: 'OK. Sorry for being vague. Can you just give me a call when you're free and you'd like me to come round then?'

Words. Fail. Me.

I'm sorry but this made me laugh!

Recently a guy tried to see me, unfortunately he didn't call until the last minute so I wasn't able to meet him.  The fact that he was leaving the city didn't deter him however, he rang me the next day asking for 'some pics of u in your uniform and wearing u r strap on' to keep him company on his trip home.

Of course I said yes ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 13 March 2012, 01:17:29 am
Phone rings. A very polite conversation follows...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 13 March 2012, 01:36:19 am
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 13 March 2012, 12:51:26 pm
Yeah, the only attention I'm getting is:

Him:  "Are you available for a massage?"
Me:  "Yes I am, when were you thinking?"
Him  "Oh, I don't know" *click*
beep beep beep
*sigh*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 13 March 2012, 02:30:38 pm
Quote from: D.3 on 11 March 2012, 11:48:46 pm
Confused Caller: 'Are you available?'

Me: 'I'm afraid you're going to have to let me know a time and date when you'd like to make a booking for as that's a bit vague and I don't know when you'd like to see me'

Confused Caller: 'OK. Sorry for being vague. Can you just give me a call when you're free and you'd like me to come round then?'

Words. Fail. Me.

I've had several guys asking me to call/text them when I'm available... yeah sure, do you want me to pick you up and take you home afterwards, put the kettle on and rub your back...  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 13 March 2012, 04:03:03 pm
I have had a gutfull of VivaIdiots this week already.  Heres the latest:

ForeignVivaCaller "Is that you in the photo......mumble mumble"

CalmEscort "Sorry what did you say?"

ForeignVivaIdiot "How much is it for an hour?"

EscortwithherHacklesUp "?X"

ForeignVivaTosser: "Can I have a discount"

EnragedyetstillCalmEscort: "No I don't negotiate my prices"

ForeignVivaAsshole: "Thats too much I'm a student I'm looking for ?50-?60 for an hour"

Escort(fuckoffanddie): "You won't find anything at that price, I suggest you go and look on the streets"
***HANGS UP****

 :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Phoenix on 13 March 2012, 06:00:35 pm
I had just pulled up at my drive after an extremely lucrative booking and was about to switch off my work phone for the night when it rang..

Intelligible-Foreign-Accent-Haggler: ..So..?xxx ees too much outcall.

Jaded Escort Playing Dumb: Excuse me?

I-F-A-H: No no. ?50 good for you, yes!

J E P D: ?50 no good for me. No!

I-F-A-H: ?50 good.. and you good also pay for Taxi home!!..

J E P D: Oh, ok then, you should have told me about the free cab ride- upon merit- in the first place! I'll try extra hard to earn my ?50 then! Lucky meee!

I-F-A-H: What??

Talk about being brought back down to earth with a bump..  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 13 March 2012, 06:37:19 pm
I think my ForeignVivaAsshole and your ForeignHaggler must be twins  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 14 March 2012, 11:56:06 am
HI im new to all this but im wanting to join in with sex meet with guys i dont want paying and your not far away so we can meet for coffee if u like im not putting any pics on here as dont want anyone to see me but im on [removed] my usernames jenbiuk and the password to my photo album is MRSPICK ive pics with other woman and men i look all sweet but i love to be a slut hope you like and hope we meet xxxx
 

OhhhhhhhhhKayyyyyyyyyyyyy ?????????????   LOL
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RoxyBlu on 14 March 2012, 12:02:02 pm
Quote from: Coty on 14 March 2012, 11:56:06 am
HI im new to all this but im wanting to join in with sex meet with guys i dont want paying and your not far away so we can meet for coffee if u like im not putting any pics on here as dont want anyone to see me but im on [removed] my usernames jenbiuk and the password to my photo album is MRSPICK ive pics with other woman and men i look all sweet but i love to be a slut hope you like and hope we meet xxxx
 

OhhhhhhhhhKayyyyyyyyyyyyy ?????????????   LOL

I've had exactly the same! I bet we all have, I reported as spam to AW  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 14 March 2012, 12:19:35 pm
Me too and it's gone now...the profile and the message:-)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 15 March 2012, 12:11:24 pm
-
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mimi_ on 16 March 2012, 12:56:19 am
Twat I give u 100 percent guarantee u will b on your kness BEGGING me for a hard fuck . i will bring 1000 cash as a bet. every hot beautiful woman always does. even if she is a lesbian

Laughed so much I nearly weed! 

Me getting really hacked off now If you don't stop sending me sexually explicit rubbish when I have stated I do not wish contact from you, the only person begging will be YOU. You will be begging the police not to charge you with harassment when they phone you. Has happened before and will happen again.

Good work :) x


[/quote]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mimi_ on 16 March 2012, 12:57:30 am
Nooo  I haven't yet worked out how to use the quote thingy!!  :-[
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: dervla on 16 March 2012, 09:25:38 am
Quote from: mimi_licious on 16 March 2012, 12:57:30 am
Nooo  I haven't yet worked out how to use the quote thingy!!  :-[

You simply put [*quote*] before the text you mean to quote and [*/quote*] at the end of it (without the stars). You can use quotes multiple times in a post.

OR, if using the extended reply form, just select the text you mean to quote and click on the quote button in the toolbar at top: (http://www.saafe.info/main/Themes/newsaafe/images/bbc/quote.gif).

Sorry for OT.

xoxo
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 16 March 2012, 09:46:50 am
Quote
Twat u must be mentaly tough not to beg me for a fuck. lets hope u dont becoz im very fussy wen it comes to fucking

Twat trust me u will be begging. i bet u a thousand pounds

Twat u will get orgasm whilst massaging me or i will give u 1000 cash

Twat BET ON

Twat so if u do scream and get a massive orgasm what will i get?

Twat I give u 100 percent guarantee u will b on your kness BEGGING me for a hard fuck . i will bring 1000 cash as a bet. every hot beautiful woman always does. even if she is a lesbian

What a knob head - I had a load of idiots texting me yesterday it must have been a day for it!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: figa98 on 16 March 2012, 09:25:30 pm
Just got a text :

Hi,do u only do half hour bookings?or could i c u for quick golden shower several times a week? X

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kayci on 17 March 2012, 02:39:47 pm
Kam is back using the name Scott (asifeyecare on AW).  Still trying his luck. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 18 March 2012, 12:55:57 am
lmao....I'm sure I'm not the only one to get this! Sure come and decorate my living room and I'll give you a blowy!

Subject: heloo Sweety
-----------------------------------------------------------------
HELOO   I AM  MICHAEL  FROM NEW CROSS
I LIKE YOUR PROFILE AND  I AM  LOCAL  HANDYMAN AND DECORATOR  ...
IF YOU THINK YOU NEED SOMETHING TO BE REPAIR OR  ANYTHING  TO BE RENOWATED
LET ME KNOW AND WE CAN HAVE A CHAT ABOUT ,,,
I AM ORIGINALLY FROM POLAND BUT I LIVING HERE 10 YEARS NOW  AND I HAVE
SMALL  HANDYMAN COMPANY  ..      I HAVE GOOD PRICE AND GOOD REFERENCE FROM
MY CUSTOMERS       FEEL FREE TO CONTACT WITH ME  MY   077290648**
KISSESS
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mimi_ on 18 March 2012, 02:29:39 am
Oh how thoughtful and selfless of him!!!! Nob!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TSgirl on 18 March 2012, 02:04:07 pm
Had this gem...

Hi I am new to this world of cock in frocks and lov to discover it - I am half mediterrianan and half Asian with fair skin and dark hair and medium slim body in mid 30's - Lov to discover for 15-20 min oral pleasures as lov to have both ways oral and Rim - finishing off with anal play both ways cock rub n cum between bum cheeks and you can cum as well on my butt xxxxx I can contribute ?40 for this sexual adventure of discovery and play and can gurantte you the best esperience as I am very horny and kinky and will lov to play and please so lets get on and rub our cocks and finger our holes and relax with plenty of cum juices lol xxxx cant wait to see you babes xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 18 March 2012, 05:37:51 pm
I just did a little sick in my mouth!
Delightful!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 19 March 2012, 12:40:58 pm
hey i go to loughborough uni and am studying physiotherapy. i need volunteers to try reflexology (basically a foot massage) and would like to offer this to you for free? i really need the feedback which would help me a lot.

please do let me know if it is something that would appeal for you?

hope to hear from you soon

thanks! :-) x


Nice try for a freebie foot fetish wank love...but no thanks!....He might have done better if he hadn't contacted me on AW, with 2 feedback about his foot fetish...idiot! lol

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sadie x on 19 March 2012, 01:49:12 pm
Ive been having 2 really quiet days.. to top it off just got this email on aw
"Ive been admiring your profile for a while,noticed your back in the area" "Would you concider giving me oral for just  a few minutes"for 5 pounds?"i know its a little cheeky.
But im just a little skint at moment,but i really want to meet you..will do any errands you need doing..

Desperate or what!! But he actually manages,to make something so cheeky,sound polite and almost the normal thing to do!!!
i just emailed back in anger..FUCKOFF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 19 March 2012, 01:51:23 pm
Quote from: sadie x on 19 March 2012, 01:49:12 pm
Ive been having 2 really quiet days.. to top it off just got this email on aw
"Ive been admiring your profile for a while,noticed your back in the area" "Would you concider giving me oral for just  a few minutes"for 5 pounds?"i know its a little cheeky.
But im just a little skint at moment,but i really want to meet you..will do any errands you need doing..

Desperate or what!! But he actually manages,to make something so cheeky,sound polite and almost the normal thing to do!!!
i just emailed back in anger..FUCKOFF

OMG I would've been furious!  I thought it bad enough the other week that a Vivacheapskate offered me ?20 for HR (I told him to go look on the streets - he said he could get it for ?10 there!!!!)
Words fail me sometimes  :FF :FF

[self edit] This was a phone call so even more mind bogglingly annoying  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 19 March 2012, 02:02:30 pm
It's so annoying too when you get crap like this, because you see you have a message and get excited you have a job at last!
I've a guy who messages me just to 'chat' and it's so bloody annoying getting your hopes up each day!
Grrrrrrr to them all.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sadie x on 19 March 2012, 02:19:58 pm
it just happened to me then!! seen 1 booking in the 2 days ive been here,went to check my emails..see i have booking request! yyaayy..its just my only booking to leave me feedback!! biggg deflation  :-[
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 19 March 2012, 02:40:24 pm
Quote from: Coty on 19 March 2012, 12:40:58 pm
hey i go to loughborough uni and am studying physiotherapy. i need volunteers to try reflexology (basically a foot massage) and would like to offer this to you for free? i really need the feedback which would help me a lot.

please do let me know if it is something that would appeal for you?

hope to hear from you soon

thanks! :-) x


Nice try for a freebie foot fetish wank love...but no thanks!....He might have done better if he hadn't contacted me on AW, with 2 feedback about his foot fetish...idiot! lol

This one does the rounds verbatim every few months
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 19 March 2012, 02:43:02 pm
Quote from: Coty on 19 March 2012, 02:02:30 pm
It's so annoying too when you get crap like this, because you see you have a message and get excited you have a job at last!
I've a guy who messages me just to 'chat' and it's so bloody annoying getting your hopes up each day!
Grrrrrrr to them all.

I have one admirer at the moment who is a little bit 'in love' with me - he emails every now and then, tried to get me to phone him (by doing a directchat booking request - I have since disabled that!), webcams with me sometimes, although not enough for me to cultivate him as a regular income! So yes, I know how infuriating that is, thinking it's a potential booking when it's just a cam guy wanting a free chat!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: dee_licious on 20 March 2012, 10:07:49 am
recieved this earlier copy and paste jobby
Hi Sexy,

I was hoping to get to meet you some day soon. I am often near you on business and looking for some fun! I am in my 30s, good looking and fit i am told - I play a lot of rugby and enjoy a good workout!! I am just not getting enough at home. Sound familiar? I would love to have a gorgeous thing like you, but there is a problem - I have a very large 'thing' - my missus calls it the Beast! Sounds great, what every man wants, but it makes it difficult with many ladies. Most are just not able to take me - it has certainly been a problem in the past! There is a pic of it next to some refreshing Coke!. More pics can of course be taken! If you deep throut me I would be very impressed! My company has a deal with Marriott and Hilton Hotels, so I will normally be in one of those.
Please let me know your thoughts

Hope to hear from you soon

xxx

and yes said pics are there  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 20 March 2012, 10:12:54 am
Send him to me...the way I'm feeling about men right now I'll gladly shorten it for him! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 20 March 2012, 05:13:12 pm
Quote from: Coty on 20 March 2012, 10:12:54 am
Send him to me...the way I'm feeling about men right now I'll gladly shorten it for him! lol

 ;D Advanced CBT
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 20 March 2012, 05:16:35 pm
from the wonderful world of AW:

Subject: hello

message: can we have a meetnig please ?

*Le sigh*

As the saying goes...'brevity is the soul of wit'  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 20 March 2012, 06:36:43 pm

Call this morning: [blank silence 5 seconds then hangs up]

Same caller then texts: Would you be interested in videoing me being your slave?

Me: At cost

Texter: That's what I mean I can't afford you, but the video is yours....

Me: Get lost  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 20 March 2012, 06:42:36 pm
Quote from: ChristineTS on 18 March 2012, 02:04:07 pm
Had this gem...

Hi I am new to this world of cock in frocks and lov to discover it - I am half mediterrianan and half Asian with fair skin and dark hair and medium slim body in mid 30's - Lov to discover for 15-20 min oral pleasures as lov to have both ways oral and Rim - finishing off with anal play both ways cock rub n cum between bum cheeks and you can cum as well on my butt xxxxx I can contribute ?40 for this sexual adventure of discovery and play and can gurantte you the best esperience as I am very horny and kinky and will lov to play and please so lets get on and rub our cocks and finger our holes and relax with plenty of cum juices lol xxxx cant wait to see you babes xxx

Its the totally flippant 'lol' and text speak that annoys me the most about these sorts. That and the way they're already assuming to call you 'babes' or some other vomit inducing term before you've even met!
'Sexual adventure of discovery and play' like its all somehow tantalisingly new to the escort being asked to partake in these budget sex encounters which of course will be as fulfilling just as much for us as them!
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 20 March 2012, 09:17:59 pm
Idiot: Can ask u 1 question plz
Idiot: Do u have a bf xx
Me: Yes, but he says you can't fuck him, not even for ?xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Phoenix on 20 March 2012, 11:23:03 pm
Hahaha  ;D

I am so 'borrowing' that one please!  :-*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 20 March 2012, 11:40:46 pm
Smiles.
Please do!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 21 March 2012, 10:47:06 am


hi email me yo wanna swap numbers


 :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 21 March 2012, 03:20:33 pm
AW PM today: 21/03/2012 12:43 
"Am at a loose end for an hr around 13:30 and wondered if you were free
Hope to hear from you"
(Like I'm on my 'puter all day.... ::))
Seen by me & replied to at 13:23!!!
"Sure, call me"

Two minutes later a phone call, then five minutes later he walks in.
Hot, hot hot guy. Totally yummy
perfect client
10/10

Turned out nice!  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sara1980 on 21 March 2012, 03:31:27 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 21 March 2012, 03:20:33 pm

A save but only just.
I'm loathed to activate sms alerts coz of costs.
{% of messages vs number of people walking through my door}
Tricky.

What do you lot think?

I don't know if this would be a possibility for you?  I get quite a lot of data included when I top my phone up and have set up my work email account on my phone so as notification emails come straight to my phone. Pretty handy as like you, I don't spend all of my time in front of the screen x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 21 March 2012, 03:39:38 pm
Quote from: sara1980 on 21 March 2012, 03:31:27 pm
I don't know if this would be a possibility for you?  I get quite a lot of data included when I top my phone up and have set up my work email account on my phone so as notification emails come straight to my phone. Pretty handy as like you, I don't spend all of my time in front of the screen x
Thank you so much.
Sorted!  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SophiaPrice1 on 25 March 2012, 02:11:27 am
Got a phone call earlier..

Caller: I found your ad on xxx directory. You're gorgeous.
Me: thank you, how can I help you today?
Caller: well do you do couples? How would you feel about spending some time with a hot and horny Australian couple?
Me: I do provide my services to couples, yes. When do you have in mind?
Caller: well we're coming over from Oz in about a month. (who calls an escort a month in advance?!)
Me: ah right, well if you just pop your questions and preferred date into an email I'll check my diary and get back to you.
Caller: well first can I just ask you about your services? Do you let men cum in your mouth?
Me: *audiable sigh* I don't discuss my services over the phone, sorry.
DICKHEAD: well if you're not willing to discuss it, I can't make an appointment.
Me: Okay, that's fine. Bye then. ;D

Such lovely guys.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 25 March 2012, 03:00:54 am
I think I need a holiday, immediately, otherwise I'm going to lose it!

"Dear Alice. I stumbled across your profile the other day and thought you are the perfect girl to help me with my little private predilictions. To be as brief as possible, since I was a young boy I've always been fascinated with wildlife programs. In particular David Attenborough's famous episode of Life On Earth where he make's intimate contact with mountain gorillas.For some reason I've always found this to be arousing. I have for some years been playing out this fantasy with various partners using a gorilla suit(with some modifacations). Recently I have found myself fantasizing about other apes, particularly Orang-utangs. Indeed, I have already gone so far as to have a Orang-utang suit specially made for me. The reason that I am asking you to help me with this is that on your profile it states that you have ginger pubes, which would be perfect for what I have in mind. As you might imagine the modified parts of the suit need someone with your haircolour to blend in for the most natural look possible. I know the above request sounds a little
strange, but I can assure you that you will find the experence emotionally and physically rewarding. I look forward to hearing your thoughts, Yours, Nick X"

I mean... Seriously... FFS!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Candy on 25 March 2012, 03:39:49 am
;D ;D and you will be dressed in banana suit!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 25 March 2012, 05:48:40 am
Quote from: Purple Carrot on 25 March 2012, 03:00:54 am
I think I need a holiday, immediately, otherwise I'm going to lose it!

LMAO....that really has got to be the weirdest and funniest thing I've heard yet.
Dear Lord!!!!
I wonder if he really was serious or it was just some teenagers having a laugh...I could imagine my youngest son and his mates doing something like that in their teens:-)
but if it was real....then OMG!!!!!!!
Gives the phrase "Monkeying around" a whole new meaning!



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 25 March 2012, 10:04:36 am
Quote from: Purple Carrot on 25 March 2012, 03:00:54 am
I think I need a holiday, immediately, otherwise I'm going to lose it!

"Dear Alice. I stumbled across your profile the other day and thought you are the perfect girl to help me with my little private predilictions. To be as brief as possible, since I was a young boy I've always been fascinated with wildlife programs. In particular David Attenborough's famous episode of Life On Earth where he make's intimate contact with mountain gorillas.For some reason I've always found this to be arousing. I have for some years been playing out this fantasy with various partners using a gorilla suit(with some modifacations). Recently I have found myself fantasizing about other apes, particularly Orang-utangs. Indeed, I have already gone so far as to have a Orang-utang suit specially made for me. The reason that I am asking you to help me with this is that on your profile it states that you have ginger pubes, which would be perfect for what I have in mind. As you might imagine the modified parts of the suit need someone with your haircolour to blend in for the most natural look possible. I know the above request sounds a little
strange, but I can assure you that you will find the experence emotionally and physically rewarding. I look forward to hearing your thoughts, Yours, Nick X"

Weird that is the strangest request I have read -  ROFL.  Is he serious???  Can you imagine him arriving in said suit - jesus what would the neighbours make of that one!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 25 March 2012, 11:38:22 am
I think what he actually meant was that I wear the suit in question  :FF I am indeed a proud owner of a ginger 'bush'  ;D, same colour as an Orangutan's (at least according to this weirdo)...  and can see what he meant by 'The reason that I am asking you to help me with this is that on your profile it states that you have ginger pubes, which would be perfect for what I have in mind. As you might imagine the modified parts of the suit need someone with your haircolour to blend in for the most natural look possible.' ...  :o

If he wanted to wear it himself, I wouldn't give a monkeys... so to speak!  :D

UPDATE:

I replied (stupid, I know, but couldn't resist) saying that although, sadly, I cannot fulfil his fantasy, my best friend would be more than happy to accommodate his requirements. And that she loved the idea of wearing the orangutan suit, as well as her 9in strap-on on top of it, so that he can make the most of his encounter with a seriously sex-crazed primate. 

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MISS RUBY on 29 March 2012, 12:40:19 pm
This guy Danni calls up just now and ask for Anal.a levels which i informed him i do not do, as stated clearly what i actually do on my profile, he then asks me again do i do anal.. I just put the phone down and add to block list !
**9848841**
Heathrow area  by the way ladies
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 29 March 2012, 12:54:33 pm
Quote from: Secret R on 29 March 2012, 12:40:19 pm
This guy Danni calls up just now and ask for Anal.a levels which i informed him i do not do, as stated clearly what i actually do on my profile, he then asks me again do i do anal.. I just put the phone down and add to block list !
**9848841**
Heathrow area  by the way ladies

He must get a real kick just out of saying that to a girl! They're so sad some of these guys. Probably made his day having the opportunity to say that to someone.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Steele on 29 March 2012, 12:57:31 pm
hi sorry i dont have the asking price, but if you fancy coming over to mine staying the night i promise i will cook you breakfast in the morning i will also give you ?30. I know its not loads but i am the same age as you and i?m not your regular weirdo on this site haha. Anyway i know its a stupid offer but please email me back .X

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SophiaPrice1 on 29 March 2012, 01:09:28 pm
:O staying the NIGHT for 30 quid and toast?! I find ?30 for an hour massively insulting but that just takes the biscuit!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 29 March 2012, 01:11:31 pm
Quote from: Steele on 29 March 2012, 12:57:31 pm
hi sorry i dont have the asking price, but if you fancy coming over to mine staying the night i promise i will cook you breakfast in the morning i will also give you ?30. I know its not loads but i am the same age as you and i?m not your regular weirdo on this site haha. Anyway i know its a stupid offer but please email me back .X

 ::)

Pmsl. Ask for coffee, fresh squeezed orange juice and a ham-and-?50-note omelette, to be served upon arrival ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 29 March 2012, 02:23:17 pm
Quote from: Steele on 29 March 2012, 12:57:31 pm
hi sorry i dont have the asking price, but if you fancy coming over to mine staying the night i promise i will cook you breakfast in the morning i will also give you ?30. I know its not loads but i am the same age as you and i?m not your regular weirdo on this site haha. Anyway i know its a stupid offer but please email me back .X

 ::)

Cheeky!!!  Very funny though and I bet he was shocked you were not grateful and snapped up the delightful little offer!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 29 March 2012, 02:45:55 pm
Quote from: Steele on 29 March 2012, 12:57:31 pm
hi sorry i dont have the asking price, but if you fancy coming over to mine staying the night i promise i will cook you breakfast in the morning i will also give you ?30. I know its not loads but i am the same age as you and i?m not your regular weirdo on this site haha. Anyway i know its a stupid offer but please email me back .X

 ::)

Christ, what an attractive offer. He must make a pretty good breakfast  ::) :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RedLady1991 on 29 March 2012, 11:11:43 pm
On the phone... "hi will you dress as a school girl and pretend to be 14, and call be daddy" * hang up* . Too far! Also been pestered by the big black cock man again ... Told him I knew what he was up to, and to have a nice day...then I hung up lol.

Also been booked by a lady claiming to be a female escort... ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 30 March 2012, 11:58:42 am
Quote from: RedLady1991 on 29 March 2012, 11:11:43 pm
Also been booked by a lady claiming to be a female escort... ::)

You may well have been.  I've been all excited over being booked by a lady, only to discover it was a fellow escort booking a threesome for a client.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 30 March 2012, 01:46:56 pm
Quote from: RedLady1991 on 29 March 2012, 11:11:43 pm
On the phone... "hi will you dress as a school girl and pretend to be 14, and call be daddy" * hang up* . Too far! Also been pestered by the big black cock man again ... Told him I knew what he was up to, and to have a nice day...then I hung up lol.

Also been booked by a lady claiming to be a female escort... ::)

God, what a creep! x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 30 March 2012, 06:56:06 pm
A bit off topic but this woman makes me laugh (it's all about strippers)  http://diaryofanangrystripper.com/customers-to-avoid-list/
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 30 March 2012, 07:29:01 pm
'hi i love it when a sexy girl humiliates me by insulting my wife! love
bitchy women, especially when they are fitter and hotter than my wife'

...that's it, the whole content of the email...his point being??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: divine_madonna on 30 March 2012, 08:18:49 pm
Absolute gem from AW:

Received this email from today from AW. Should say I?m Indian and I asked this guy when he called for appointment to send me a BR on AW online before I would give out my address details...

Hi,
Thanks for speaking to me earlier ? you sound well hot! I can?t wait to meet you.
I?ve put through the Booking Request like u asked me too. I hope u look as good as your photos You really are so beautiful! I?ve never had sex with a pa** before but in your case I?m willing to make an exception lol. Are you really Indian? You look very fair and you write very well too...were you born in this country...
Blah blah blah blah blah blah

I stopped reading when he mentioned the P word, deleted his booking and blocked his dumb ass permanently. FFS how dumb can you be??? Why book an Asian escort if you have such vile views???!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 30 March 2012, 08:36:21 pm
Quote from: divine_madonna on 30 March 2012, 08:18:49 pm
Absolute gem from AW:

Received this email from today from AW. Should say I?m Indian and I asked this guy when he called for appointment to send me a BR on AW online before I would give out my address details...

Hi,
Thanks for speaking to me earlier ? you sound well hot! I can?t wait to meet you.
I?ve put through the Booking Request like u asked me too. I hope u look as good as your photos You really are so beautiful! I?ve never had sex with a pa** before but in your case I?m willing to make an exception lol. Are you really Indian? You look very fair and you write very well too...were you born in this country...
Blah blah blah blah blah blah

I stopped reading when he mentioned the P word, deleted his booking and blocked his dumb ass permanently. FFS how dumb can you be??? Why book an Asian escort if you have such vile views???!!

My jaw dropped at the P word! And not only that, he goes on to quantify his vile views!! YUCKKK! Bet he has just as lovely views about women too! Just be thankful you're not his wife  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: divine_madonna on 30 March 2012, 08:43:52 pm

Quote
My jaw dropped at the P word! And not only that, he goes on to quantify his vile views!! YUCKKK! Bet he has just as lovely views about women too! Just be thankful you're not his wife  >:(

I know Cat same here: here's the thing he saw my pics, (I show my face in my pics because I'm a brazen hussy ;D), read my profile, speaks to me and then still feels it's ok to use that term in correspondence with me.

Complete ignorance, I dare to say that if I'd challenged his views, I'd have received a typical response along the lines of "oooh I'm not racist, my sister has a black/blue/yellow boyfriend" etc etc. Not worth the energy or breath x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 30 March 2012, 08:50:07 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 30 March 2012, 08:36:21 pm
Quote from: divine_madonna on 30 March 2012, 08:18:49 pm
Absolute gem from AW:

Received this email from today from AW. Should say I?m Indian and I asked this guy when he called for appointment to send me a BR on AW online before I would give out my address details...

Hi,
Thanks for speaking to me earlier ? you sound well hot! I can?t wait to meet you.
I?ve put through the Booking Request like u asked me too. I hope u look as good as your photos You really are so beautiful! I?ve never had sex with a pa** before but in your case I?m willing to make an exception lol. Are you really Indian? You look very fair and you write very well too...were you born in this country...
Blah blah blah blah blah blah

I stopped reading when he mentioned the P word, deleted his booking and blocked his dumb ass permanently. FFS how dumb can you be??? Why book an Asian escort if you have such vile views???!!

My jaw dropped at the P word! And not only that, he goes on to quantify his vile views!! YUCKKK! Bet he has just as lovely views about women too! Just be thankful you're not his wife  >:(

yep ...EUUWW...what a vile man.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Phoenix on 31 March 2012, 09:57:28 am
Absolutely vile little man and fortunately for you he showed his true colours immediately.

I detest being in the company of what I assumed was an ok client who suddenly comes out with a heap of racist diatribe and thinks I won't mind as I am white -  and you are right, they usually don't admit to racism, but I have come across guys who are very openly proud of it.  :-[

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 31 March 2012, 12:32:44 pm
I have told racists to leave in the past. I won't tolerate it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MISS RUBY on 31 March 2012, 12:34:53 pm
Tera i couldnt help laughing at the awful spelling  in his request!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 31 March 2012, 12:53:46 pm
message received on AW

hi i would like to know alittle more about you please text me when you can 0********* with price for 1 hour

Reply

Really!!! Please take the time to read my profile and then get back to me with sensible questions.

 :FF :FF :FF



 

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: XxAnnaliseXx on 31 March 2012, 05:45:30 pm
Quote from: Kristina Bristol Escort on 31 March 2012, 12:53:46 pm
message received on AW

hi i would like to know alittle more about you please text me when you can 0********* with price for 1 hour

Reply

Really!!! Please take the time to read my profile and then get back to me with sensible questions.

 :FF :FF :FF

I had this too and I'm based in Manchester. Was it a follow up to one saying I'm free all next week?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 31 March 2012, 06:31:03 pm
Quote from: Tipping The Velvet on 31 March 2012, 05:45:30 pm
Quote from: Kristina Bristol Escort on 31 March 2012, 12:53:46 pm
message received on AW

hi i would like to know alittle more about you please text me when you can 0********* with price for 1 hour

Reply

Really!!! Please take the time to read my profile and then get back to me with sensible questions.

 :FF :FF :FF

I had this too and I'm based in Manchester. Was it a follow up to one saying I'm free all next week?

Is this the AW lady, kinkinikky or something I think her name is - been spamming everyone this afternoon.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 31 March 2012, 06:43:36 pm
Quote from: strawberry on 31 March 2012, 06:31:03 pm
Quote from: Tipping The Velvet on 31 March 2012, 05:45:30 pm
Quote from: Kristina Bristol Escort on 31 March 2012, 12:53:46 pm
message received on AW

hi i would like to know alittle more about you please text me when you can 0********* with price for 1 hour

Reply

Really!!! Please take the time to read my profile and then get back to me with sensible questions.

 :FF :FF :FF

I had this too and I'm based in Manchester. Was it a follow up to one saying I'm free all next week?

Is this the AW lady, kinkinikky or something I think her name is - been spamming everyone this afternoon.

Yep I got the email too and I'm in Scotland.  Could it be the same one that was spamming everyone last week ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 31 March 2012, 07:43:11 pm
-
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: divine_madonna on 31 March 2012, 11:21:23 pm
Received this text five mins ago (despite saying I don?t accept texts on my profile and ffs if you must text at least write it properly!!!):

RudeBoy: Hi, I seen ur ad on internet and want u to b my escort. Am u gonna b free tmrz evening
Me: I think you meant to say you?d like to book me. ?I want you to be my escort? makes you sound like a pimp...are you?
RudeBoy: Lol, it came dwn wrong, not as i intended. Is dat u in foto?, dnt like suprises
Me: And I don?t like rude boys ? Ciao!

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: robinlondon on 01 April 2012, 08:05:19 am
Quote from: divine_madonna on 31 March 2012, 11:21:23 pm
Received this text five mins ago (despite saying I don?t accept texts on my profile and ffs if you must text at least write it properly!!!):

RudeBoy: Hi, I seen ur ad on internet and want u to b my escort. Am u gonna b free tmrz evening
Me: I think you meant to say you?d like to book me. ?I want you to be my escort? makes you sound like a pimp...are you?
RudeBoy: Lol, it came dwn wrong, not as i intended. Is dat u in foto?, dnt like suprises
Me: And I don?t like rude boys ? Ciao!

 ;D

lolol Well done!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 02 April 2012, 12:40:55 am
Quote from: Phoenix on 31 March 2012, 09:57:28 am
I detest being in the company of what I assumed was an ok client who suddenly comes out with a heap of racist diatribe and thinks I won't mind as I am white -  and you are right, they usually don't admit to racism, but I have come across guys who are very openly proud of it.  :-[

That or misogyny or homophobia.  Sometimes I just wish men would keep their mouths shut.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 02 April 2012, 12:58:08 am
Just got this beauty!

Subject: super free one hour thai body relax massage offer end soon
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi my name is john. I am a professional massage therapist. I am working in
central London STAR HOTEL担 massage parlour. I came to London in two years
agreement for star hotel massage parlour.

totally free of charge. no any hidden coast. totally free of charge. you
don't need make any payment. totally free.

Now i give you offer one hour Sri Lankan, Thai, Singapore free body relax
massage. This is not sexual service. If you like please reply me or call
to my mobile. Totally i give you free full body relax massage for one
hour. I can come to your place. Remember this is not sexual service. If
you like please send me your mobile number and when you want massage? What
time you want massage? Please send me reply soon. Offer end date March 7th
April. This is my mobile 075354451**.

First you get massage from me. Then you know about your body relax. Really
very very good and fantastic massage for your body.

if you like only i can lick your pussy and ass. but no fucking. if you
only like i can lick your pussy and ass.

Lovely kisses from
John


sexy licking from
sex John
SPECIAL  MASSAGE THERAPIST
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 02 April 2012, 01:02:03 am
Oh god, I made the mistake of looking at his profile and pics...Now I want to heave! :-(
BLOCKED
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 02 April 2012, 10:47:06 am
Quote from: Coty on 02 April 2012, 12:58:08 am
Just got this beauty!

Subject: super free one hour thai body relax massage offer end soon
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi my name is john. I am a professional massage therapist. I am working in
central London STAR HOTEL担 massage parlour. I came to London in two years
agreement for star hotel massage parlour.

totally free of charge. no any hidden coast. totally free of charge. you
don't need make any payment. totally free.

Now i give you offer one hour Sri Lankan, Thai, Singapore free body relax
massage. This is not sexual service. If you like please reply me or call
to my mobile. Totally i give you free full body relax massage for one
hour. I can come to your place. Remember this is not sexual service. If
you like please send me your mobile number and when you want massage? What
time you want massage? Please send me reply soon. Offer end date March 7th
April. This is my mobile 075354451**.

First you get massage from me. Then you know about your body relax. Really
very very good and fantastic massage for your body.

if you like only i can lick your pussy and ass. but no fucking. if you
only like i can lick your pussy and ass.

Lovely kisses from
John


sexy licking from
sex John
SPECIAL  MASSAGE THERAPIST

I've had this three times, posted about the first time on this thread ;D And yes, I did mention that his cock is the shiniest, blackest one I've ever seen - certainly nothing sexy at all about those pics!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 02 April 2012, 02:23:55 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 02 April 2012, 10:47:06 am
Quote from: Coty on 02 April 2012, 12:58:08 am
Oh god, I made the mistake of looking at his profile and pics...Now I want to heave! :-(

And yes, I did mention that his cock is the shiniest, blackest one I've ever seen - certainly nothing sexy at all about those pics!!

idonotwanttolookoutofcuriosityidonotwanttolookoutofcuriosityidonotwanttodothis...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 02 April 2012, 04:14:51 pm
Quote from: EvaBeeva on 02 April 2012, 02:23:55 pm
idonotwanttolookoutofcuriosityidonotwanttolookoutofcuriosityidonotwanttodothis...

Believe me you really don't! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: divine_madonna on 02 April 2012, 05:13:34 pm
Email from ?Richard Gere?:-

Quote
Hello ******

I came across your profile and must say you are a very beautiful lady. You seem like a really nice girl; can I ask what brings you to this? I would very much like to get to you know and date you personally. You seem just like the sort of woman I would like to share my life with. I am a very suitable man for you. I am white, 6ft2, green eyes and deemed by most as attractive. I have my own business, home and car. I am the sort of man your mother would be happy for you to bring home! If you are interested please email me back and we will take it from there.
Yours, RG xxx

My response: I think you?ve been watching Pretty Woman too much or perhaps you accidentally clicked on ADULTWORK instead of Match.com???!!!!  ::)

Sheesh you just have to love the deluded sods with the ?prossie saviour? complex  lol  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 02 April 2012, 05:47:20 pm
Quote from: divine_madonna on 02 April 2012, 05:13:34 pm
Email from ?Richard Gere?:-

Quote
Hello ******

I came across your profile and must say you are a very beautiful lady. You seem like a really nice girl; can I ask what brings you to this? I would very much like to get to you know and date you personally. You seem just like the sort of woman I would like to share my life with. I am a very suitable man for you. I am white, 6ft2, green eyes and deemed by most as attractive. I have my own business, home and car. I am the sort of man your mother would be happy for you to bring home! If you are interested please email me back and we will take it from there.
Yours, RG xxx

My response: I think you?ve been watching Pretty Woman too much or perhaps you accidentally clicked on ADULTWORK instead of Match.com???!!!!  ::)

Sheesh you just have to love the deluded sods with the ?prossie saviour? complex  lol  :FF

LMFAO!! At his message and your post!

I'd be very interested to know if any other ladies received the same  8)


(Oh, and when he says "I am a very suitable man for you. I am white, 6ft2, green eyes and deemed by most as attractive. I have my own business, home and car. I am the sort of man your mother would be happy for you to bring home!" - soooo, he's that attractive that he needs to ask prozzies to be his girlfriend...??! IYSWIM!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: divine_madonna on 02 April 2012, 05:53:07 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 02 April 2012, 05:47:20 pm
Quote from: divine_madonna on 02 April 2012, 05:13:34 pm
Email from ?Richard Gere?:-

Quote
Hello ******

I came across your profile and must say you are a very beautiful lady. You seem like a really nice girl; can I ask what brings you to this? I would very much like to get to you know and date you personally. You seem just like the sort of woman I would like to share my life with. I am a very suitable man for you. I am white, 6ft2, green eyes and deemed by most as attractive. I have my own business, home and car. I am the sort of man your mother would be happy for you to bring home! If you are interested please email me back and we will take it from there.
Yours, RG xxx

My response: I think you?ve been watching Pretty Woman too much or perhaps you accidentally clicked on ADULTWORK instead of Match.com???!!!!  ::)

Sheesh you just have to love the deluded sods with the ?prossie saviour? complex  lol  :FF

LMFAO!! At his message and your post!

I'd be very interested to know if any other ladies received the same  8)


(Oh, and when he says "I am a very suitable man for you. I am white, 6ft2, green eyes and deemed by most as attractive. I have my own business, home and car. I am the sort of man your mother would be happy for you to bring home!" - soooo, he's that attractive that he needs to ask prozzies to be his girlfriend...??!)

I know Cat!!! Lol

It really made me laugh, which in light of recent events I really needed, but what got me is the seriousness of his email. I don't think he meant it as a joke or pee take which makes it even more ludicrous. Where do these guys get off? I like where he says he'd like to date me "personally". Really? What other types of dating are there? Via Msn??!

As for me taking him to meet my mum....hmmmm, she'd chew him up and spit him out before he could say Jack Flash lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 02 April 2012, 06:42:23 pm
I remember when I first started work I was offered to live rent free in a luxury London appartment with a guy as long as I looked after his kids, but I could work from there when the kids were not there and I would not have to pay him anything for doing that.

I had to think about it for all of 2 secs!!!!! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 02 April 2012, 07:07:35 pm
Quote from: divine_madonna on 02 April 2012, 05:13:34 pm
Email from ?Richard Gere?:-

Quote
Hello ******

I came across your profile and must say you are a very beautiful lady. You seem like a really nice girl; can I ask what brings you to this? I would very much like to get to you know and date you personally. You seem just like the sort of woman I would like to share my life with. I am a very suitable man for you. I am white, 6ft2, green eyes and deemed by most as attractive. I have my own business, home and car. I am the sort of man your mother would be happy for you to bring home! If you are interested please email me back and we will take it from there.
Yours, RG xxx

My response: I think you?ve been watching Pretty Woman too much or perhaps you accidentally clicked on ADULTWORK instead of Match.com???!!!!  ::)

Sheesh you just have to love the deluded sods with the ?prossie saviour? complex  lol  :FF

This bit 'deemed by most as attractive' :P Somebody pass the sick bucket!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 02 April 2012, 09:45:32 pm
I'm getting them all today:-( I gave up the will to live by the first paragraph! LOL

Hey,
This is Dil, I am currently in France and will be visiting London in a couple of nights. First of all I'd like to say i was really impressed viewing your profile. You are exactly someone i want to spend my stay in London with. I am 25 years old and im landing in London on April 10th. I am staying there will the 15th. I am willing to pay up to ?6000 for a 3 days session (+ nights). I would be staying at a hotel and would expect you to come there. I want you to stay day and night because it?s my first time in London and i need someone to show me around as well as be a great partner. Im sure you are every experienced and exactly what i need during this vacation.


I could not call you because I am visiting France and do not have a personal cell phone but I will get straight to point now. I want to know more about you and ur services before I finalize everything. Since its a onetime trip for m, i want everything perfect and well planned.  I am very much into fetishes. What kind of kinky fetish can you provide? I love foot fetish and fetish with toys etc. My biggest fetish is any sort of humiliation and torture. I am pretty much going to be paying you to treat me like your slave for the whole time and im looking for the worst time of my life.  Have you got anything in mind? For most of your stay i want you to be in charge of everything. I love aggressive role play (very aggressive! ) I want someone VERY dominant. I am looking for enslaving, humiliation and whatever you can think of. If you have any toys and costumes please let me know and feel free to bring them. If you want you can shop for some and just get me the receipt and ill pay you for everything and you may keep those toys after. We could also go toy shopping together since we will have 3 days with each other.

 

I usually do not have any limits, so I am open to anything. I want to be treated as bad as possible. How? That is for you to decide. I am willing to be your personal toilet if you want for 3 days.


Now i want to hear from you. What makes you different and if you can provide what i am looking for or not. Please be detailed about your services. How aggressive you can be and what are the most aggressive things you have tried before or things you are willing to/want to try with me.. I dont mind anything . like ANYTHING ! as long as i dont bleed to death. I am also open to a bit of blood if you are comfortable with it, its all going to be about what you want.


Also please send me some pictures of yourself, specially ur feet and toes cause im very much into foot fetish so a close up of your own toes and feet would be perfect. I dont want professional pictures, just how you normally are without make up and everything. !

 I know i might be asking for a little too much. I am willing to increase the price of the 3 nights but just make sure you are on your 110% and dirtier than you have ever been. let me know if you want to negotiate the price.  i just want to never be able to forget these 3 nights. This is my one time chance so i really want this to be perfect. I am looking for the most humiliating and torturous 3 days of my life. I want to look back and regret making this decision.  I need to know if you can be the one I need asap !

im looking forward to your reply
Dil
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: divine_madonna on 02 April 2012, 09:57:22 pm
Quote from: Coty on 02 April 2012, 09:45:32 pm
I'm getting them all today:-( I gave up the will to live by the first paragraph! LOL

Hey,
This is Dil, I am currently in France and will be visiting London in a couple of nights. First of all I'd like to say i was really impressed viewing your profile. You are exactly someone i want to spend my stay in London with. I am 25 years old and im landing in London on April 10th. I am staying there will the 15th. I am willing to pay up to ?6000 for a 3 days session (+ nights). I would be staying at a hotel and would expect you to come there. I want you to stay day and night because it?s my first time in London and i need someone to show me around as well as be a great partner. Im sure you are every experienced and exactly what i need during this vacation.

MAJOR EDIT!
Dil

Bloody Nora!! Lol - this guy makes Leo Tolstoy look like a bone idle git lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 02 April 2012, 10:06:44 pm
Quote from: divine_madonna on 02 April 2012, 09:57:22 pm
Bloody Nora!! Lol - this guy makes Leo Tolstoy look like a bone idle git lol


bwahahahahahahah :-))
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 02 April 2012, 10:57:46 pm
I had a guy ask me recently if this was all I did.

'Oh no,' I said, 'I'm looking for a full time job!' (and I'm looking so SO hard you can imagine).

'Well I'm currently looking for a PA....' he responded.

I couldn't help it, I started laughing.  He was offering a prossie a job as a Personal Assistant!  He looked slightly offended that I was amused and muttered, 'I didn't mean it to be that kind of personal assistant'.

Needless to say I haven't heard from him again (yet).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 04 April 2012, 09:19:28 am
Took a call this morning and answered inmy normal escort voice. Hello.  The caller said hello can I call you at lunch time.  Sure I said but why are you calling me to ask if you can call at lunch time.  I am busy at work right now he said so I can not call you!!! Ok I will speak to you later I say. 

He was Irish.  Sorry all the Irish folk on here xxx

It is too early for this today :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 04 April 2012, 09:30:57 am
I like it when someone is texting, then says they can't phone because they are driving, and continues to text.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Phoenix on 04 April 2012, 09:52:37 am
Yes, I used to to be sceptical about that.  Unfortunately, looking around at all the other drivers on the road ( heads bowed to their knees, fingers  jamming furiously as they drive )  it is sometimes true   :-[

They think if their phone isn't by their ear they can get away with it and I have  been crashed into by a female texter who  hadn't seen the lights change to red.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sexycat09 on 04 April 2012, 11:02:57 am
 ;Dthats cheered me up sorry hun glad it aint just me but i am irish too hehehehehe
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 04 April 2012, 11:04:22 am
Just activated my escorting profile on AW. First email received from a 27 year old fella:

"Do you do escorting? x"

 :FF  :FF  :FF

Ye gods....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 04 April 2012, 12:35:47 pm
Quote from: bananamuffin on 04 April 2012, 11:04:22 am
Just activated my escorting profile on AW. First email received from a 27 year old fella:

"Do you do escorting? x"

 :FF  :FF  :FF

Ye gods....

Does Tesco sell groceries??? Some people find it so difficult x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 04 April 2012, 02:25:17 pm
How thick can you get lol!

I did advise that actually reading the AW profile and following the link to my website would, in all likelihood, answer that question for him!!!
 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MISS RUBY on 05 April 2012, 07:24:28 pm
ladies the mobile number is **793281** the name is Martin.
text reads as follows
 text 1 Hello Ruby come to london in 2 weeks what is yr best price 2 nice hrs in my hotel massage and full service inclusive taxi! thanks kiss you
martin.!!!!

 text 2 can not now call sorry email me thanks         kiss you martin !!!!
 text 3 what Yr nickname on AW? thanks kiss you martin    !!!  He is asking my name on adult work yet must have looked at the profile to get the number what a turn off !!!!!!
 
well kiss youre ass martin because im not playing the game...(I didnt send that as a text)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 05 April 2012, 08:26:45 pm
Quote from: Secret R on 05 April 2012, 07:24:28 pm
ladies the mobile number is **793281** the name is Martin.
text reads as follows
 text 1 Hello Ruby come to london in 2 weeks what is yr best price 2 nice hrs in my hotel massage and full service inclusive taxi! thanks kiss you
martin.!!!!

 text 2 can not now call sorry email me thanks         kiss you martin !!!!
 text 3 what Yr nickname on AW? thanks kiss you martin    !!!  He is asking my name on adult work yet must have looked at the profile to get the number what a turn off !!!!!!

well kiss youre ass martin because im not playing the game...(I didnt send that as a text)


You can always tell a time waster as he asks questions that I call leading to get you into a text conversation.  Idiots!


Tiny Edit by Emily: Fixed quote - send me a PM if anything got moved to the wrong place!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rooby on 05 April 2012, 10:56:55 pm
An email on AW...

**EASTER SPECIAL:::ALL BUSTY/MEGA BUSTY LADIES FUCK & FILM ME FOR FREE. VIDEO IS ALL YOURS TO TAKE HOME.YOU CAN ORDER ME ALONE OR CAN INVITE ANOTHER FEMALE FRIEND OF YOU TO JOIN YOU AND ENJOY THIS SPECIAL TREAT ****

I AM AN ESCORT AND THIS IS MY WAY OF SAYING THANK YOU XX

I wonder if he would consider 'thanking me' by mowing the lawn and painting the shed this weekend instead...? No? Thought not.

R xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 06 April 2012, 07:59:20 am
Quote from: Rooby on 05 April 2012, 10:56:55 pm
An email on AW...

**EASTER SPECIAL:::ALL BUSTY/MEGA BUSTY LADIES FUCK & FILM ME FOR FREE. VIDEO IS ALL YOURS TO TAKE HOME.YOU CAN ORDER ME ALONE OR CAN INVITE ANOTHER FEMALE FRIEND OF YOU TO JOIN YOU AND ENJOY THIS SPECIAL TREAT ****

I AM AN ESCORT AND THIS IS MY WAY OF SAYING THANK YOU XX

I wonder if he would consider 'thanking me' by mowing the lawn and painting the shed this weekend instead...? No? Thought not.

R xx

PMSL!!!  ;D
Oh come on, you could ask, he might say yes!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SophiaPrice1 on 06 April 2012, 10:20:53 am
Email on AW...

Hi......text me on 07565******

That's it. Yeah sweetie because I soooo can't wait to waste my time energy and money on you.

Moron.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ace on 06 April 2012, 02:52:54 pm
Whoever it was on here that talked about phone suffixes has made my life sooo much easier. 

Saw my first client since coming back to work yesterday and he was lovely. then today I got a call this morning from a guy who then booked to see me this afternoon at 2.30. So I got ready n all that then at 2pm no confirmation so i got out my book half expecting a no show, it got to 2.35 and I got this:

"I really wanna come but I'm nervous, I'm not a time waster but am very nervous. Want to see you and curious but a little scared"

So me, being me, gave him the benefit of the doubt and asked if I was to still expect him this afternoon and spoke breifly in my text about safe touch and massage.

and got a reply saying that: " oh, not afraid of touching, just nervous lol..so can I book with u?"

Me: " you already booked with me...you are late and I have other things to do today so at this point you either show up..or you don't"

Him, text 1; " ?? huh??"

text 2 : oh..well, I'm going to give it a miss, i'm really really sorry, not a time waster, honest, just scared.


oh piss off. he is now saved in my phone a T*** NS 1,

 *goes to read book in peace* ::)
 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 06 April 2012, 03:50:01 pm
This is from a FREE text, what ever that means

hi, i was looking to use your services,. i am looking at about 1pm and would like to spend about ?30 - ?40. is this possible and what would i get for that. :/

I did consider offering him my specially tailored service of opening the door, taking the money and waving goodbye, but in the end didn't respond.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 07 April 2012, 12:02:36 pm
Quote from: EvaBeeva on 06 April 2012, 03:50:01 pm
This is from a FREE text, what ever that means

hi, i was looking to use your services,. i am looking at about 1pm and would like to spend about ?30 - ?40. is this possible and what would i get for that. :/

I did consider offering him my specially tailored service of opening the door, taking the money and waving goodbye, but in the end didn't respond.

What the hell is up with these guys? and do they really expect a response?  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 07 April 2012, 02:38:28 pm
Quote from: EvaBeeva on 06 April 2012, 03:50:01 pm
would like to spend about ?30 - ?40  what would i get for that. :/[/i]

F*** all!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 08 April 2012, 05:58:40 am
I'm sure I'm not the only one to get this amazing offer!!!  I'm not sure what sold it to me the most, his age (seeing as I'm 53!) or that he's sexy Spanish

Heyy There Babe,

I Was Just Contacting You To Tell You That If Your Interested In Doing A Free Session?

(((Check My Profile))) I'm 19 And sexy Spanish :)

> I Would Lick Your Pussy + Asshole Or Do Anything Else You Want :)

Also I Could Only Travel To Your Home Or Hotel

Take Caree x X x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 08 April 2012, 10:56:39 am
Quote from: Coty on 08 April 2012, 05:58:40 am
I'm sure I'm not the only one to get this amazing offer!!!

Heyy There Babe,
I Was Just Contacting You To Tell You That If Your Interested In Doing A Free Session? I Could Only Travel To Your Home Or Hotel
Hey Coty, they are such a trier!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 08 April 2012, 01:00:40 pm
Ha ha ha...you're so naughty. I remember reading this ages ago.

I already deleted and blocked him though. X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littlepeanut on 08 April 2012, 06:08:24 pm
Good afternoon Miss,

I have seen your advertisement for cash pigs. I am interested. Whilst I am not rich i still want to take part and wanted to arrange something with you. I have an idea which I shall describe below, please tell me if this is satisfactory.

I agree to pay you a set amount per month, to ensure this happens you have my details as a security, if i stop paying you use the details to humiliate me etc. Can we also have a buy out agreement, of say ?50. I can not afford a lot but want to pay you ?20 by paypal once a month, increasing by a pound each month until further notice. I gradually want to be be fully financially dependent on you and see how far I can adjust my life to accomodate your needs, but on a gradual basis.

Could you please text me, I shall pay you for the text.

Kind Regards,
Karl.

LMAO what avertisement for a cash pig?? Never even heard of such a thing
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 08 April 2012, 07:44:57 pm
Quote from: littlepeanut on 08 April 2012, 06:08:24 pm

LMAO what avertisement for a cash pig?? Never even heard of such a thing

LOL....and I was just going to ask you what it is as I want to do it!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 08 April 2012, 08:40:13 pm
I'd guess that means financial domination.
Ask for MUF* before any interaction at all.



*As per any Escorting services: Money up front
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 10 April 2012, 09:20:04 am
And this morning I woke up to this delightful business opportunity:

Subject: hi sexy
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hiya babes nice profile looking sexy ;) I'm holly, 21yo newbie xdresser.
I'm 5'5 slim pretty mixed raced with smooth golden skin and a nice round
bum that's only had one cock inside it. I'm looking to get into the adult
work industry, Ideally I want to find a tgirl I can come and stay with for
maybe a month
or so. Would be your property to pimp out and we would split any earnings
I make 50 50. Let me know if interested babes xx holly xx
------------------------------------------------------------------

Holly,
I see at least one major drawback to your business partnership suggestion.
The Sexual Offences Act 2003
[53] Controlling prostitution for gain
(1) A person commits an offence if?
(a) They intentionally controls any of the activities of another person relating to that person's prostitution in any part of the world, and
(b) They do so for or in the expectation of gain for himself or a third person.
Potential tariffs: Max penalty: six months or a fine in a magistrate's court, seven years in a crown court.

For that reason, I'm out.

However these two business videos may assist you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFd5ItRlsE0 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFd5ItRlsE0)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6I0mrndMzaE&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6I0mrndMzaE&feature=related)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: divine_madonna on 10 April 2012, 09:21:50 am
Not even 10:00am and I?m already getting the charmers. Turned on my phone this morning to receive this text:

?Hi ******, I?d like to book you for a couple of hours outcall this evening in Middlesex. Is 9 good for you? Please can you wear a sari for me? Also just to let you know my wife will be asleep upstairs, so we have to very, very quiet. Hope that?s ok with you. Please get back to me. Jay?

 ??? ???

Hmmm what do you think ladies? Should I start ironing the sari? lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sadie x on 10 April 2012, 10:28:39 am
as if you would put your self in that situation..
he cant be for real..what an idiot!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sara1980 on 10 April 2012, 10:49:29 am

10.22 this morning, phone rings.

Hugest chav that has EVER called me - 'AREET PET? I wanna come see you today'
Me - Shocked silence!
Chav - 'Whey. D'ya speak or what?
Me (Shaking my head!) - Yes. Can I help?
Chav - I wanna see you. Time y'vailable?
Me - I'm sorry, I'm not available until next week now.
Chav - Ehhh? I'm back at work next week man pet!!!
Me - Again, shocked silence thinking 'twatweasel!'
Chav - Did ya hear is?
Me - I do apologise most profoundly if the death of a family member is an inconvienience to you but as I stated I won't be available.
Chav - Ah fuck, sorry pet....... Hangs up.......

Nope. No-one has passed on but was I chuff seeing him  :FF   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sadie x on 10 April 2012, 10:52:50 am
WY HIY!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: divine_madonna on 10 April 2012, 11:03:59 am
Quote from: sara1980 on 10 April 2012, 10:49:29 am

10.22 this morning, phone rings.

Hugest chav that has EVER called me - 'AREET PET? I wanna come see you today'
Me - Shocked silence!
Chav - 'Whey. D'ya speak or what?
Me (Shaking my head!) - Yes. Can I help?
Chav - I wanna see you. Time y'vailable?
Me - I'm sorry, I'm not available until next week now.
Chav - Ehhh? I'm back at work next week man pet!!!
Me - Again, shocked silence thinking 'twatweasel!'
Chav - Did ya hear is?
Me - I do apologise most profoundly if the death of a family member is an inconvienience to you but as I stated I won't be available.
Chav - Ah fuck, sorry pet....... Hangs up.......

Nope. No-one has passed on but was I chuff seeing him  :FF   :FF

Lol. I posted a thread about a similar scenario in Bilge & Bile. Maybe we should get together and compile a handbook titled "Phone Etiquette For The Would-Be Punter?. We could all be the next J.K Rowling!!  ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 10 April 2012, 11:24:48 am
I have took over the weekend a number of calls in excess of 10 from guys enquiring for MMF or even MMMF one one call the caller even asked me if I did recreational drugs and could they.  I got quite stroppy and explained I do not participate in recreational drugs and do not see anyone who is using them while with me, not to mention I would have no problem calling the police if someone brought drugs onto my premises.  No call me paranoid but I think I am been plagued by a bunch of idiots who are out to cause a bit of trouble - that is my gut feeling anyway.  Needless to say my OH is close at hand today thank goodness!!  I have saved all their numbers in my phone and have 5  different numbers they have been using.  It makes me wary! I will be glad when the school holidays are over and they go back to class!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amberrr on 10 April 2012, 05:23:29 pm
ok, I've got this guy right now, whom I have been seeing regularly over the years (not frequently at all because he's not that well off) and he's turning weird. He sent me various love messages and was begging for a meeting. The problem I have with him is a) he's annoying and arrogant as fuck b) I had very bad infections a couple of times after being with him and I know he does see otehr women casually because he's a self proclaimed commitment wus.
So ok fine, texts lovely and all but HE JUST REFUSES TO GET TESTS DONE. Now, he did agree to protection but WHY is he so scared of tests? Gets so defensive when I ask as well. This is an easy booking and its nice to be so glorified but its turned into him being 'utterly bitterly disappointed' because I always keep putting the meetings off.

probably the wrong place to post this as well but can you guys recommend any places in london which do free std testing?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 10 April 2012, 05:39:00 pm
Any GUM WALK-IN (https://www.google.co.uk/#q=gum+clinic+london&hl=en&safe=off&prmd=imvns&source=lnt&tbs=ctr:countryUK%7CcountryGB&cr=countryUK%7CcountryGB&sa=X&psj=1&ei=5WGET4_COsKXhQfavYHeCA&ved=0CFQQpwUoAQ&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.,cf.osb&fp=759c2bde6e044c68&biw=1005&bih=550) clinic.
He can give a fake name & DoB
(but it's essential to remember these details or he will not be able to access the results)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sadie x on 10 April 2012, 05:39:38 pm
Id refuse to see him..
hes a big man,he should look after his own health,and not be putting women at risk..wank**
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amberrr on 10 April 2012, 05:48:28 pm
ok progress people, he's booked in to a clinic tomorrow.

I think he just finds it offensive I ask because he's got this racial discrimination issue (indian)

Btw I must be totally the Asian type because if anyone fancies me so much, 9 times out of 10 he's Asian.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 12 April 2012, 08:29:21 am
Call me sceptical but he may just be saying he is booked in and all ok just so he can see you again, how will you know he has been to the clinic what tests he has had done and what the results are - it is all very confidential.  If it was me and I had any doubt whatsoever I would just tell him I did not want to see him again and explain why I felt uncomfortable.  If he is genuine he will respect you and your wishes and not contact you again.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: divine_madonna on 12 April 2012, 01:48:44 pm
Have to say agree with K on this one. Would not trust this guy as far as I could throw him, You seem to be the forgiving type ? a guy gives you an infection on more than one occasion (thereby impacting on your business), is reluctant to agree to your requests and to top it all off seems to have a big royal chip on his shoulder. Surely business can?t be that slow, that you have to entertain this crap? 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amberrr on 12 April 2012, 05:42:32 pm
Well I will of course request everything on paper, not printed out. I sent him to a specific clinic and I know what the result sheets look like from there.
I'm not really seeing guys right now. I have so many things going on and I travel every two weeks with my regular SD, have to manage my day job and am also looking for an apartment which really doesn't leave time for much else. I don't need to see guys at the moment as far as finances go. This guy I've been seeing since my first month of escorting though and I gained a lot of confidence thanks to him. He's the one that introduced me to my very first SD who got me the job I have now and which I love, there's a lot of history behind this.

Yeah its so weird he was reluctant to get the tests done but I think he was more offended because of our history than anything else. I just get totally paranoid over my health (always a good thing) The infection he gave me was bacterial, not an STD.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lexi on 16 April 2012, 10:49:20 pm
Speaking of STDS... Had this one just now:

Hi

I am thinking about making my first visit to an escort (never done this before) and have seen your details on AW.
Before I make a booking I would like to know a few things...

I would class my self as a handsome chap in his early 30's and although married, I think the time has come to fulfill my sexual desire which outstrips the supply within marriage! The only thing that concerns me is the health and hygiene side of things. As I have not done this before I have some concerns around the topic of STI's - I do not want any (I am sure the feeling is mutual)!

Without being offensive I am looking for the reassurance that these worries can be put aside - whilst the activities conducted may be of a 'safe nature' not all things can be prevented such as the dreaded HERPES!

I hope you view this email as a chance to potentially meet a new, genuine client who is charming and wants the best out of life and hopefully doesn't put you off!

By the way I am available this week only!

Tim x

Still not quite sure what to make of this!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 16 April 2012, 11:29:25 pm
Seems reasonable.
I get questions about this and reply that  I practice safer sex,
I'm tested for STI's every two months and that I've never caught anything
but even this is no guarantee.
And I assume every client potentially has a communicable STI
and act accordingly.  He may wish to consider taking the same measures
and responsibility for his own sexual health and not trust it to a stranger.
They usually book with me after that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: divine_madonna on 16 April 2012, 11:32:35 pm
Quote from: Lexi on 16 April 2012, 10:49:20 pm
Speaking of STDS... Had this one just now:

Hi

I am thinking about making my first visit to an escort (never done this before) and have seen your details on AW.
Before I make a booking I would like to know a few things...

I would class my self as a handsome chap in his early 30's and although married, I think the time has come to fulfill my sexual desire which outstrips the supply within marriage! The only thing that concerns me is the health and hygiene side of things. As I have not done this before I have some concerns around the topic of STI's - I do not want any (I am sure the feeling is mutual)!

Without being offensive I am looking for the reassurance that these worries can be put aside - whilst the activities conducted may be of a 'safe nature' not all things can be prevented such as the dreaded HERPES!

I hope you view this email as a chance to potentially meet a new, genuine client who is charming and wants the best out of life and hopefully doesn't put you off!

By the way I am available this week only!

Tim x

Still not quite sure what to make of this!

I don't think he sounds that bad - a bit too cautious perhaps but not necessarily a bad thing in this game? Maybe just respond with something about regular visits to GUM to help him overcome any concerns x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 16 April 2012, 11:48:29 pm
I don't even think he's that unusual.

I have clients who are so paranoid about std's they won't even have sex or do anything at all without latex.  I don't mind, it makes my life easier.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lexi on 17 April 2012, 04:02:07 pm
Ah okay, thanks for that! It's just I've never had an email expressing concern for STIs before so thought it was a little out of the ordinary but can see it's not that bad now.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 18 April 2012, 11:12:15 pm
Subject: hey gawjus

hey im wondering wen ur next available? i fink ur gawjus...i see u offer watersports? im into that and also i get really turned on by the smell of a womens ass...its my ultimate fantasy for a beautiful women to just sit on my face and fart...wierd i know...do you think u cud offer this?
 :FF :D



 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 19 April 2012, 12:26:35 pm
spam flavoured I assume:

'Hi, I'm (a dickhead) and I would like to ask you whether you are ticklish, and
if so, where are you most ticklish?
Thank you in advance.'

oh yes...just your average 'Dear Mistress' inquiry  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 19 April 2012, 12:36:26 pm
Text received this morning

'What do offer'

Yes that got my interest Not!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 19 April 2012, 01:25:18 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 19 April 2012, 12:26:35 pm
spam flavoured I assume:

'Hi, I'm (a dickhead) and I would like to ask you whether you are ticklish, and
if so, where are you most ticklish?
Thank you in advance.'

oh yes...just your average 'Dear Mistress' inquiry  ::)

Tickling and being tickled is a fetish - I personally know someone who enjoys tickling their partner during sex!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 19 April 2012, 01:49:44 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 19 April 2012, 01:25:18 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 19 April 2012, 12:26:35 pm
spam flavoured I assume:

'Hi, I'm (a dickhead) and I would like to ask you whether you are ticklish, and
if so, where are you most ticklish?
Thank you in advance.'

oh yes...just your average 'Dear Mistress' inquiry  ::)

Tickling and being tickled is a fetish - I personally know someone who enjoys tickling their partner during sex!

^^^ yes for sure, I've seen some very hot/cute tickling play between people - but I advertise as an 'untouchable' Mistress....so errm...I don't think he's barking up the right tree.

having said that if he want's to book to be tied up and then threatened visciously with a feather duster im ALL FOR IT!!  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 19 April 2012, 03:10:00 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 19 April 2012, 01:49:44 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 19 April 2012, 01:25:18 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 19 April 2012, 12:26:35 pm
spam flavoured I assume:

'Hi, I'm (a dickhead) and I would like to ask you whether you are ticklish, and
if so, where are you most ticklish?
Thank you in advance.'

oh yes...just your average 'Dear Mistress' inquiry  ::)

Tickling and being tickled is a fetish - I personally know someone who enjoys tickling their partner during sex!

^^^ yes for sure, I've seen some very hot/cute tickling play between people - but I advertise as an 'untouchable' Mistress....so errm...I don't think he's barking up the right tree.

having said that if he want's to book to be tied up and then threatened visciously with a feather duster im ALL FOR IT!!  ;)

OH! LOL - yes :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 19 April 2012, 04:36:01 pm
Quote from: Purple Carrot on 18 April 2012, 11:12:15 pm
Subject: hey gawjus

hey im wondering wen ur next available? i fink ur gawjus...i see u offer watersports? im into that and also i get really turned on by the smell of a womens ass...its my ultimate fantasy for a beautiful women to just sit on my face and fart...wierd i know...do you think u cud offer this?
 :FF :D

TMI warning!
I could have obliged him last night. I had a regular and I could not stop passing wind! I've never been so embarrassed! Must have been the bowl of crunchy nut clusters I ate before leaving! lol He seemed ok about it,  though he did say at one point, ..."Coty, you don't seem to be in complete control of your bowels today my dear" which made me laugh. Thing is though when they pump away for hours sometimes it's inevitable! It was one of the most embarrassing things that's ever happened to me though!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 19 April 2012, 06:23:16 pm
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 19 April 2012, 06:43:46 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 19 April 2012, 06:23:16 pm
  • Hi Jodie it's Jay i have only ever spoken to you on the pho but i want to c u
    If i come and c u cant i get the first time 4 free as i have never done this befor
    im gd looking 30 years of age mix race fit body its up to u but i have wanted to for so long now xxx
  • yeah sounds good. Call me. Jodie. xx
He's on his way.
Any guesses where I'm gonna send him? (http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=3972.msg35789#msg35789)


You're so cruel! :-))
Go on tell us!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 19 April 2012, 06:53:34 pm
Oh well...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 19 April 2012, 07:10:34 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 19 April 2012, 06:53:34 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 19 April 2012, 06:23:16 pm

Any guesses >>>where I'm gonna send him?<<< (http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=3972.msg35789#msg35789)

This bit >>><<< is a clue... ::)

LOL
Let me know how many points you get!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 19 April 2012, 07:39:54 pm
Jack of Stevenage Sent a text to say he had seen me in the paper.
I suggested he phone me which he later did.
I give full info and prices. He asks for site address, which I gave.
He then saw my site and texted requesting more pics.  (wank fodder)
I said no he had to see me for real.
Then he reveals he is unemployed, with no Coin;  call finishes. 

The end.
{Oh why?  :FF}
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 19 April 2012, 09:47:34 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 19 April 2012, 07:39:54 pm
OK,
Meantime I'll fuck up some tossers sexual identity.
Jack of Stevenage Sent a text to say he had seen me in the paper.
I suggested he phone me which he later did.
I give full info and prices. He asks for site address, which I gave.
He then saw my site and texted requesting more pics.  (wank fodder)
I said no he had to see me for real.
Then he reveals he is unemployed, with no Coin;  call finishes.  (wasting my fucking time)
  • Jack of Stevenage I want to meet but only have about 50 as i don't work
  • Very pissed off Jodie Sorry I don't see homosexual men and as ?50 will only get you a man in a dodgy frock and wig, you must be gay. Bye.
  • Jack of Stevenage Sorry?
  • Very pissed off Jodie You said you only had ?50 and I said I don't see see homosexual men and as ?50 will only get you a hairy man crossdresser  as that's the only market you can afford. Ha!

OMG, you're not in a good mood today. lol I'd hate to get on the wrong side of you! I wish I wasn't so damned soft, I could never do that.Though you do plant ideas in my head! ha ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 19 April 2012, 10:01:04 pm
I am a very bad Whore, in a grumpy mood.
Which is weird as work wise it's been a good day.
Oh well, prob coz I'm not at my best recovering from food poisoning.
Two hours ago I started feeling icky again.
Client on way, rent needed.
He was the perfect client, just wow.
But the only thought I had as he walked out my apartment was how good it was
that I didn't throw up over him (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-sick016.gif) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) in the session; I'm so professional.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: divine_madonna on 19 April 2012, 10:11:31 pm
Mensa must be missing a member...

Him: How much for half hour? (note absence of introduction...always a promising start!)
Me: Sorry my minimum booking time is 1 hour, as I?ve clearly pointed out on my profile...
Him: But what if I only want to stay for a bit?
Me: You can stay for 10 minutes if you like, but you still need to pay me for the hour.
Him: Oh...(genius brain obviously going into overdrive).. Ok what if I wanted to book you for 30 minutes?
Me: Learn to tell the time 30 minutes is same as half an hour!!!
Me: *Click*

It just astounds me how these sort of guys manage to function in their daily lives....??? ??? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 19 April 2012, 10:27:53 pm
Quote from: Coty on 19 April 2012, 04:36:01 pm
Quote from: Purple Carrot on 18 April 2012, 11:12:15 pm
Subject: hey gawjus

hey im wondering wen ur next available? i fink ur gawjus...i see u offer watersports? im into that and also i get really turned on by the smell of a womens ass...its my ultimate fantasy for a beautiful women to just sit on my face and fart...wierd i know...do you think u cud offer this?
 :FF :D

TMI warning!
I could have obliged him last night. I had a regular and I could not stop passing wind! I've never been so embarrassed! Must have been the bowl of crunchy nut clusters I ate before leaving! lol He seemed ok about it,  though he did say at one point, ..."Coty, you don't seem to be in complete control of your bowels today my dear" which made me laugh. Thing is though when they pump away for hours sometimes it's inevitable! It was one of the most embarrassing things that's ever happened to me though!


That made me laugh. I fluffed yesterday when a client decided to try and wrap my legs around my neck and pump away (excuse the pun) I apologised but like you I was so embarrassed. I wanted to come on here and make a post about whether anyone had broke wind on a booking just to make myself feel better. I still cringe at the thought. He said it was alright but I couldn't get over what I had done. I keep chuckling about it to myself. I hope he doesn't come back :-[
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 19 April 2012, 10:42:54 pm
Quote from: Jan10 on 19 April 2012, 10:27:53 pm
That made me laugh. I fluffed yesterday when a client decided to try and wrap my legs around my neck and pump away (excuse the pun) I apologised but like you I was so embarrassed. I wanted to come on here and make a post about whether anyone had broke wind on a booking just to make myself feel better. I still cringe at the thought. He said it was alright but I couldn't get over what I had done. I keep chuckling about it to myself. I hope he doesn't come back :-[

LOL, glad I've made you feel a bit better...mine weren't little fluffs...I probably could have coped with that. I'm wondering if he'll ever book me again now lol He's been a regular for about 18 months but think that might have put him off somewhat!
I felt like singing Tom Jones' "She's a Lady" lmao

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MISS RUBY on 20 April 2012, 07:21:58 am
 I once had a full roast meal then later on had sex with my legs in the air and blew off so loudly the guys tiny penis just fell out, he then stood up got dressed and said in a very strong yorkshire accent " you are disgusting" !!!! what could i do but laugh ..
infact im laughing now as i type  ;D
Ruby x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 20 April 2012, 08:22:24 am
Quote from: Lexi on 16 April 2012, 10:49:20 pm
Speaking of STDS... Had this one just now:

Hi

I am thinking about making my first visit to an escort (never done this before) and have seen your details on AW.
Before I make a booking I would like to know a few things...

I would class my self as a handsome chap in his early 30's and although married, I think the time has come to fulfill my sexual desire which outstrips the supply within marriage! The only thing that concerns me is the health and hygiene side of things. As I have not done this before I have some concerns around the topic of STI's - I do not want any (I am sure the feeling is mutual)!

Without being offensive I am looking for the reassurance that these worries can be put aside - whilst the activities conducted may be of a 'safe nature' not all things can be prevented such as the dreaded HERPES!

I hope you view this email as a chance to potentially meet a new, genuine client who is charming and wants the best out of life and hopefully doesn't put you off!

By the way I am available this week only!

Tim x

Still not quite sure what to make of this!

I've just had this exact same email from Tim, tut!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 20 April 2012, 09:09:24 am
Quote from: DianaMurphy on 20 April 2012, 08:22:24 am
Quote from: Lexi on 16 April 2012, 10:49:20 pm
Speaking of STDS... Had this one just now:

Hi

I am thinking about making my first visit to an escort (never done this before) and have seen your details on AW.
Before I make a booking I would like to know a few things...

I would class my self as a handsome chap in his early 30's and although married, I think the time has come to fulfill my sexual desire which outstrips the supply within marriage! The only thing that concerns me is the health and hygiene side of things. As I have not done this before I have some concerns around the topic of STI's - I do not want any (I am sure the feeling is mutual)!

Without being offensive I am looking for the reassurance that these worries can be put aside - whilst the activities conducted may be of a 'safe nature' not all things can be prevented such as the dreaded HERPES!

I hope you view this email as a chance to potentially meet a new, genuine client who is charming and wants the best out of life and hopefully doesn't put you off!

By the way I am available this week only!

Tim x

Still not quite sure what to make of this!

I've just had this exact same email from Tim, tut!

Of course only escorts get STIs, never have check-ups and spread them around........I mean what a cheek I bet he's never had a check-up in his life
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 20 April 2012, 12:02:06 pm
Quote from: Coty on 19 April 2012, 10:42:54 pm
Quote from: Jan10 on 19 April 2012, 10:27:53 pm
That made me laugh. I fluffed yesterday when a client decided to try and wrap my legs around my neck and pump away (excuse the pun) I apologised but like you I was so embarrassed. I wanted to come on here and make a post about whether anyone had broke wind on a booking just to make myself feel better. I still cringe at the thought. He said it was alright but I couldn't get over what I had done. I keep chuckling about it to myself. I hope he doesn't come back :-[

LOL, glad I've made you feel a bit better...mine weren't little fluffs...I probably could have coped with that. I'm wondering if he'll ever book me again now lol He's been a regular for about 18 months but think that might have put him off somewhat!
I felt like singing Tom Jones' "She's a Lady" lmao

Lol. He probably will come back, if breaking wind puts him off, god forbid. The thing is it is natural bodily functions we shouldn't need to try and hold it in but we do. and then if we can't we get so embarrassed. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 20 April 2012, 12:08:12 pm
Quote from: Secret R on 20 April 2012, 07:21:58 am
I once had a full roast meal then later on had sex with my legs in the air and blew off so loudly the guys tiny penis just fell out, he then stood up got dressed and said in a very strong yorkshire accent " you are disgusting" !!!! what could i do but laugh ..
infact im laughing now as i type  ;D
Ruby x

Hehe. I try not to eat until I finish working but a girl has to eat  ;D. He was probably more ashamed that his tiny penis got blown out by wind. I don't blame you for laughing though. Although it is embarrassing at the time it is a situation you can laugh at in the end. Good for you lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 20 April 2012, 12:46:14 pm
Hi hun

I?ve been to the consultant (surgeon)and he has recommended me ?ligamentotomy? surgery to increase the size. The procedure will increase its size BUT BUT will make it VERY VERY thin. The mass from girth would be used to increase the size, therefore it would greatly decrease its thickness. According to the consultant, my cock will then not be more than the little finger and might have some erection issues as well.

I?ve told you this because if you can kindly give your opinion as to which form would be better, especially in regards to penetration, the penis in its shape as is now, OR a bit larger but a very thin penis? If you could kindly be specific about penetration, as I?m getting my cock extended solely for penetration so I like to know the pros and cons of cock being too small or too thin.
As being an escort and a women, you can personally tell as to which cock you prefer sex wise. So kindly if you could tell which cock will be better and why, and why other would not be so pleasurable, eg thin cock gives less feeling in vagina, small cock cannot penetrate etc, what ever your analysis., whatever pros and cons you think of.

Or you think this would not make any difference either way giving pleasure to a women

There are 2 pictures of my cock in my profile. The picture in which I hold my cock is of ERECT cock, if you wish to view them.

Much thanks and I really appreciate your help, as to then I can decide whether I should have an operation after considering which cock is more preferred. xxx

Adam... is at it again -
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 20 April 2012, 12:58:46 pm
Gotta Hustle!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: divine_madonna on 20 April 2012, 01:23:55 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 20 April 2012, 12:58:46 pm
How not to book an escort,world championships!
How to book an escort,world championships!

In Tesco's just now.
Call from existing client, who tried to haggle on my prices - Fuck him.   ;D    He'll be back.
Next aisle, an attractive man starts a conversation:
  • Nice man: Chat, chat, chat.... You had a phone call just now. Was that work?
  • Jodie: Yep
  • Nice man: What do you do?
  • Jodie: What do you think I do?
  • Nice man: Escort?
  • Jodie: Yep
  • Nice man: How much?
  • Jodie: ?160. I'm trans, I have a penis. Is that what you want?
  • {Not flustered but intrigued} Nice man: No
  • Jodie: ok
  • {Still not flustered} Nice man: Do you take it up the bum?
  • Jodie: Yep
  • {Looking very interested, he gets his mobile out} Nice man: May I take your number and call you later?
  • Jodie: Passes him her business card and walks off with a grin

Gotta Hustle baby!

OMG Jodie!!!! Brings a whole new meaning to the thread "escorts in the supermarket"...(!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SophiaPrice1 on 20 April 2012, 01:41:15 pm
Jodie, you never fail to amaze me.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SophiaPrice1 on 20 April 2012, 01:56:17 pm
Iv got an fantasy just wonder if ur able to do it babe, wel here goes lol:) wonderin if your able to fulfill my fantasy, well what I'm after is to be kidnapped by you from the streets or from your front door and then blindfolded and gag me in boot of your car before we go back to yours where you tie me up and torture me sexually. Or kidnap me from door and then tie me down before you tourment me sexually until finally given in. Hopefully can do the first one as its my personal favourite and wud love to try it with you hun, I think it'll go under casual escort service/femdom babe. Hope you can do so and hope to hear from you soon hun xxxx

Just received this. I've had it twice before.

My reply: oh, piss off.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 20 April 2012, 03:06:10 pm
Quote from: Secret R on 20 April 2012, 07:21:58 am
I once had a full roast meal then later on had sex with my legs in the air and blew off so loudly the guys tiny penis just fell out, he then stood up got dressed and said in a very strong yorkshire accent " you are disgusting" !!!! what could i do but laugh ..
infact im laughing now as i type  ;D
Ruby x

LMAO :-)
I feel slightly better now:-) ha ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KatieKurves on 20 April 2012, 05:29:19 pm
Quote from: Kristina Bristol Escort on 20 April 2012, 12:46:14 pm
Hi hun

I?ve been to the consultant (surgeon)and he has recommended me ?ligamentotomy? surgery to increase the size. The procedure will increase its size BUT BUT will make it VERY VERY thin. The mass from girth would be used to increase the size, therefore it would greatly decrease its thickness. According to the consultant, my cock will then not be more than the little finger and might have some erection issues as well.

I?ve told you this because if you can kindly give your opinion as to which form would be better, especially in regards to penetration, the penis in its shape as is now, OR a bit larger but a very thin penis? If you could kindly be specific about penetration, as I?m getting my cock extended solely for penetration so I like to know the pros and cons of cock being too small or too thin.
As being an escort and a women, you can personally tell as to which cock you prefer sex wise. So kindly if you could tell which cock will be better and why, and why other would not be so pleasurable, eg thin cock gives less feeling in vagina, small cock cannot penetrate etc, what ever your analysis., whatever pros and cons you think of.

Or you think this would not make any difference either way giving pleasure to a women

There are 2 pictures of my cock in my profile. The picture in which I hold my cock is of ERECT cock, if you wish to view them.

Much thanks and I really appreciate your help, as to then I can decide whether I should have an operation after considering which cock is more preferred. xxx

Adam... is at it again -

Do you think they just send the same email to a block group of escorts!? Hoping someone will answer. I'm afraid I just delete & block them. This one has been around ages.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 20 April 2012, 08:03:45 pm
Quote from: SophiaPrice1 on 20 April 2012, 01:56:17 pm
Iv got an fantasy just wonder if ur able to do it babe, wel here goes lol:) wonderin if your able to fulfill my fantasy, well what I'm after is to be kidnapped by you from the streets or from your front door and then blindfolded and gag me in boot of your car before we go back to yours where you tie me up and torture me sexually. Or kidnap me from door and then tie me down before you tourment me sexually until finally given in. Hopefully can do the first one as its my personal favourite and wud love to try it with you hun, I think it'll go under casual escort service/femdom babe. Hope you can do so and hope to hear from you soon hun xxxx

I wonder what the 'this is a TW' rating figure is with the use of the words 'babe' and 'hun'??!!  Jeez.

I'd love to pick him up in a ?60 car bought from a scrap yard then just leave him there. Forever. Sorry, only joking...... xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ace on 20 April 2012, 10:12:15 pm
 :FF

I do not want to talk to men on the internet tonight, I don't wanna discuss the ins and outs of my gender and body.

boring boring annoying and sometimes mildly upsetting!!!

I hope i get my nice guy. i want mooney!!

ahem..rant over *strolls into the office*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MISS RUBY on 21 April 2012, 03:51:51 pm
I am mony I came to you befor but was so long no see you cal me when you can new mobile *79461283** call me now miss you
  I have absolutly no clue as to who this person is, came today as an email!!!!!
 
             
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FayeBloore on 21 April 2012, 06:37:17 pm
Just in;


Hi love, if you could kindly assist me on my important decision

I?m planning to go for an enlargement but before that I like to see the views which opposite gender may have, therefore it is my request if you could kindly provide your views on it.

There are 2 pictures of my current cock in my profile. The picture in which I hold my cock is of ERECT cock, if you wish to view them.

I?ve been to the consultant (surgeon) and he has recommended me ?ligamentotomy? surgery to increase the size. The procedure will increase its size BUT BUT will make it VERY VERY thin. The mass from girth would be used to increase the size, therefore it would greatly decrease its thickness. According to the consultant, my cocks girth will then be not more than the little finger and almost the same length as little finger. And might have some erection issues or lack of sensation.

I?ve told you this because if you can kindly give your opinion as to which form of cock would be better for a women (in this case you), especially in regards to penetration, the penis as small as in pictures OR a bit larger but a very thin cock? How would you feel my tiny cock in your vagina AND on the other hand how you might feel a very thin cock? Which cock you might find more pleasurable and touching the sensitive spots in vagina.

If you could kindly be specific about penetration, as I?m getting my cock extended solely for penetration so I like to know the pros and cons of cock being too small or being too thin.

As being an escort and a women, you can personally tell which cock would be more pleasurable penetration wise and any feeling you might get of them. So kindly if you could tell which cock will be better and why, and why other would not be so pleasurable, eg thin cock gives less feeling in vagina, small cock cannot penetrate etc, whatever your analysis., whatever pros and cons you think of. I wont mind whatever you say on this

Or you think this would not make any difference either way giving pleasure to a women


Much thanks and I really appreciate your help, though at the end I have to make my own decision but your views help me to understand the broader aspect as to whether the current is better to after might be better.


.................


LOL!! Cock photos never fail to amuse
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 22 April 2012, 12:52:54 pm
And this cheery PM on AW:

k first i am not a slave but i like pain & want to record my session for online business, I was just wondering how can I make an appointment also could you tell me the cost as-well this will be my first time. The thinks i want to do in session are listed below:
First Tied my legs & hand with rope so that I become helpless and deeptroat me up 20min & then put gag in my mouth &tied me up then Whip my ass with leather , strap ,paddle insanely UP TO 30min non-stop until I bleed & my ass look like a burn rotten hot chilli . I really like pain I want you to destroy my ass so I can fell pain all the week no mercy, no safe word, inhumanity
we can also book private chamber or dungeon to play this kind of session
I want to experience the most cruel ts mistress who can label the worst marks on the butt with cigarettes ,paddle,strap n belt
No safe word
AND I WILL ONLY CALL AN HR BEFOR WHEN YOU FINALIZE THE DATE THANX


Dear deluded.
So what you are asking me to do are actions which are specifically covered by the law: Assault occasioning actual bodily harm ABH, a statutory offence of aggravated assault. In England, a person guilty of assault occasioning actual bodily harm is liable, on conviction on indictment, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding five years.
And you wish me to film said assault.

Your feedback is hidden. Is this to avoid potential sub-judiciary infractions of forthcoming cases?
Think I'll pass, ta.....
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kizzie on 22 April 2012, 02:11:43 pm
Had various texts from the same number over last few days, all under various guises, I finally sent reply.    "Whenever suits you. Im hardly going to miss the chance to chat to a medical miracle! I have never before heard of a stroke victim one day unable to talk and the next, no problem! And have time to pick up foot fetish hobby to! Good for you! Give yourself a sank, sorry I mean the clap, sorry i mean A clap".    Lol, well!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kizzie on 22 April 2012, 02:15:01 pm
Should read a wank, sorry. Bloody predictive text!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MISS RUBY on 22 April 2012, 03:20:54 pm
Kizzie youre one must have been healed in Lourdes France beforehand thats where they all go isnt it for miraculous healing.  crippled for life, then walking the next day after the hand of faith and the dead rise again no doubt !!!! shame they cant cure some of the men on AW !
Ruby x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 23 April 2012, 11:30:16 am
This delightfuloffer in my in box; No feedback on AW

 
hi
please check my profile for pictures!


im quite new to this sort of work and am looking for likewise minded people to help build each others profile with pictures and movie clips. i have a full hd camcorder with hd16mb still picture capability.

im hoping to build up some footage and would like to know ifn this is something you would be interested in? i would work to any level and preferably protected work but can provide certification upon request.

let me know if this is something that we could discuss and perhaps agree on getting this sorted, also if you know of any other female models that could help or are interested please let me know.


look foward to hearing from you

franky

My reply:

Hi Franky

Thank you for the mail, yes of course you can take pictures to build your online gallery. Ialso work with some one who would be more than happy to take pictures of us together for you to use on your site.

My usual rates apply plus the photo and filming fee so for an hour that would be ?150.00 if you want someone else to take the phiotos of us together then the fee for that will be an extra ?50.00

Let me know how you would like to proceed.

Kisses Kris x

I will await to hear from him but I am not holding my breath as I think he is after free sex - I may be wrong but I doubt I am!
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: scottishmilf on 23 April 2012, 03:51:33 pm
Had some strange ones but this is just sick  :-X

Quote
Hello, this may sound a bit weird and im sorry for that, but reading all your profile and details, it seems to me that my daughter is one of your friends. would you meet me anyway?
thanks

How the hell can you tell your daughter is one of my friends everything on my AW is lies! name age ect i have one terrible picture on it and its not a face pic.

Also why would you want to book your daughters friend? you freak?

Sorry for the rant, i just skimmed threw 20 odd TW emails saw one that was respecful, polite THEN 2 emails in he askes "hun are you a horney girl hun?

Im not having a good day today PFFT :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 23 April 2012, 04:16:15 pm
Quote from: Jamie Drake on 23 April 2012, 03:51:33 pm
Had some strange ones but this is just sick  :-X
Quote
Hello, this may sound a bit weird and im sorry for that, but reading all your profile and details, it seems to me that my daughter is one of your friends. would you meet me anyway?
thanks

Proposed reply:
[Draft]Even weirder than you think hon,
I am your daughter
....Hi Dad![/Draft]


I dare you to send it, I double dare you!    ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: scottishmilf on 23 April 2012, 04:19:21 pm
Im so tempted  ;D  ;D  ;)
hahaha il think about it, but deffo post his reply (if i get one :P )
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 23 April 2012, 05:07:34 pm
From TonyWithaBigCock on AW (pics on profile)

Quote
You need a big cock. I can always travel up to you.

Tony
x

So I replied with rates and availability and expect to never hear from him again, but lo and behold :

Quote
Hi,

So since we are both escorts shall we not bother about money and just have fun, we can have lots of sex...:-)

Happy to take pics with you and you can upload them on your profile without my face being shown.

Since I responded that being an escort means I'm more likely to be bothered about the money than your average girl and have no intention of taking pics with a stranger he seems less enthusiastic about having lots of sex.

As a side note - what did he think I was expecting? "Have a lot of fun and play subbuteo?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 23 April 2012, 10:21:04 pm
Quote from: Sweet-Pleasure on 23 April 2012, 05:07:34 pm
From TonyWithaBigCock on AW (pics on profile)

Quote
You need a big cock. I can always travel up to you.

Tony
x

So I replied with rates and availability and expect to never hear from him again, but lo and behold :

Quote
Hi,

So since we are both escorts shall we not bother about money and just have fun, we can have lots of sex...:-)

Happy to take pics with you and you can upload them on your profile without my face being shown.

Since I responded that being an escort means I'm more likely to be bothered about the money than your average girl and have no intention of taking pics with a stranger he seems less enthusiastic about having lots of sex.

As a side note - what did he think I was expecting? "Have a lot of fun and play subbuteo?"

I have met Tony three times for escort bookings where he paid me.  The funniest was when he contacted me to say that he had a photoshoot booked with a lady (Curvy Mandy) but the photographer had let him down and did I know any.

Cut a long story short, I did the photography with his digital camera. I got my full hourly rate and Mandy did it for free, for photos for her profile.  And she had driven over an hour to shag him for nowt!!!!! Unbelieveable.

He asked me if I wanted to join in, but I passed and had a cup of tea whilst I waited for my driver to take me home. Hilarious.

He is a nice guy but loves a freebee.  He is also obsessed by how large his cock is, (average).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 23 April 2012, 10:39:20 pm
Quote from: pandora on 23 April 2012, 10:21:04 pm
TonyWithaBigCock on AW
He is a nice guy but loves a freebee.  He is also obsessed by how large his cock is, (average).
They usually are average... (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-basic/huh.gif) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: teenmeganx on 23 April 2012, 11:07:31 pm
Quote from: Jamie Drake on 23 April 2012, 03:51:33 pm
Had some strange ones but this is just sick  :-X

Quote
Hello, this may sound a bit weird and im sorry for that, but reading all your profile and details, it seems to me that my daughter is one of your friends. would you meet me anyway?
thanks

How the hell can you tell your daughter is one of my friends everything on my AW is lies! name age ect i have one terrible picture on it and its not a face pic.

Also why would you want to book your daughters friend? you freak?

Sorry for the rant, i just skimmed threw 20 odd TW emails saw one that was respecful, polite THEN 2 emails in he askes "hun are you a horney girl hun?

Im not having a good day today PFFT :FF :FF :FF

I got this Email to? I was like, Where do you live? He replied "harrow" I said, You lived there all your life? he replied "yes" I replied, Well, That's funny because i've only been in london a few months, and dont socialise with any girls from "harrow" (making it clear I wouldn't know his daughter) I think it's some sort of sick role play he thinks of  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lexi on 24 April 2012, 05:57:11 pm
That all seems slightly weird!

I've just had a guy ring me about 20 times in the past hour and has sent about 7 texts asking for my postcode even though I said I was busy! How does everyone deal with this? I can't block numbers on my work phone and he's not listening to me saying I'm not free! Complete and utter turn off :s
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 24 April 2012, 06:26:15 pm
Buy a phone where you can block calls.
Add a Call Blocker too.   
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lexi on 24 April 2012, 09:33:42 pm
Ah okay thank you! Was getting to the point where he was blocking all other calls coming through so think I definitely need to invest in a better phone.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MISS RUBY on 25 April 2012, 08:38:54 am
I recieved a call from Alistar asking could he stay for 4 days, (coming from scotland) with me to which i refused, he asked did i know any escorts he could stay with!!! i said you would be finding it very difficult to find anyone who dosnt know you to let you stay with them!!!!  adult work user name bigtallman . i unfortunatly deleted the mobile number sorry .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MISS RUBY on 25 April 2012, 09:28:56 am
 this guy is a pimp ...

My name is Greg and I run and manage several AW profiles for girls. They use my lovely apartment here in Wandsworth, which is just a minutes walk away from Wandsworth town hall.
Not only do i get the girls work and earn them money but they dont have to do anything in order for this to happen.... I truly do run the whole thing for them. They just take part in the "action!" I can do the photo's for your profile, re write it so its more appealing to men and get work flowing in your direction.

If you might be interested in this service then get in touch, or if you would simply like to use the apartment on occasion when you need too, then thats fine too.

A final thing i do is run very sexy adult parties. Depending on the number of guys you could manage at one time and also depending on if your bi and would like to work alongside another girl will depend on how many men is invited to a particular party and also whether the location is at the apartment or a 5 star hotel suite in Battersea.

If any of the above interest you, then do get in touch. I always seek new faces and you look like the kind of girl i would love to have on board my team! x
I look forward to hearing from you soon

Regards
Greg
SW18 Events
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 25 April 2012, 10:01:16 am
Quote from: Secret R on 25 April 2012, 09:28:56 am
this guy is a pimp ...

My name is Greg and I run and manage several AW profiles for girls. They use my lovely apartment here in Wandsworth, which is just a minutes walk away from Wandsworth town hall.
Not only do i get the girls work and earn them money but they dont have to do anything in order for this to happen.... I truly do run the whole thing for them. They just take part in the "action!" I can do the photo's for your profile, re write it so its more appealing to men and get work flowing in your direction.

If you might be interested in this service then get in touch, or if you would simply like to use the apartment on occasion when you need too, then thats fine too.

A final thing i do is run very sexy adult parties. Depending on the number of guys you could manage at one time and also depending on if your bi and would like to work alongside another girl will depend on how many men is invited to a particular party and also whether the location is at the apartment or a 5 star hotel suite in Battersea.

If any of the above interest you, then do get in touch. I always seek new faces and you look like the kind of girl i would love to have on board my team! x
I look forward to hearing from you soon

Regards
Greg
SW18 Events

Welllllllll. I know both areas extremely well, and there are no "lovely apartments" which are a minutes walk from the town hall. UNLESS he's talking about the flats above the Arndale Centre (now renamed "Southsides") which I can assure you aren't what anyone would call "lovely" (although the interior of his might be!) or "apartments".

ALSO. Battersea is quite a desolute place for hotels - although there's a new Travelodge going up in Clapham Junction at the mo (Clapham Junction IS central Battersea). I can think of 3 hotels within SW11, one of them is a Travelodge that looks more like a hostel, and 2 of them are new builds. The 2 new builds - Verta & Rafayel - are 5 star, but I've tried to assess them for suitability to work from, and they don't look ideal (reception hard to find and not busy, and my queries to them haven't been answered properly, so I haven't even been able to find out if it's keycarded lifts etc) so I'm not sure how he manages to have sex parties in either of those without being noticed. That's if he actually has done any yet  ::)  ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littlepeanut on 25 April 2012, 10:48:20 am
Just got this on AW

Hi there
I have a reverse booking running for Thursday night
Would you be interested in bidding?
Thanks

 :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lexi on 25 April 2012, 12:16:29 pm
Dont know what it is but the thought of having to bid on the privilage of vising them for money really doesnt appeal to me at all! The rates are always lower than I charge and the fact that gy emailed you asking to bid annoys me even more! Gosh there are some lunatics around arent there!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: figa98 on 25 April 2012, 06:49:30 pm
him
do you do public humiliation?
me
( thinking wtf is that?)
no, do you? and slams fone down  :FF

Had stupid questions all day
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: divine_madonna on 26 April 2012, 03:05:27 pm
Anyone received this one yet???.... ::)

Quote
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: long term contract?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
before i call you i just want to know if you can accomadate my request.
this is what i am looking for:
 
- i am young good looking 28yr old businessman and practising muslim
- i want a lawful fuck buddy but on a long term basis
 
however i cannot just cum to you like the average punter as i follow my
religion. i will pay you to marry me (nothing official just a sermon) and
there onwards i will pay you your normal rates+extras. I would just like
to have fun with you just the one woman and not loads of different ones,
but cannot do so until i am lawfully able to engage/touch you. Does this
make sense to you?
 
this is a long term arrangment as i have a wife already but she cannot
fulfill my sexual desires, i will require meetings 2-3 times a week.
 
FOR YOU this is a long term customer with cash no strings just intimacy as
usual with the exception of a trip to a mosque once to accept marriage.
then ill be coming to you and ONLY you since i dont play with women
unlawfully
 
if this is not suitable for you then i apologize for being so forward and
wish you all the best for your future.
kind regards
Moron
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 26 April 2012, 03:23:56 pm
Quote from: Danae on 26 April 2012, 03:05:27 pm
Anyone received this one yet???.... ::)

Quote
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: long term contract?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
before i call you i just want to know if you can accomadate my request.
this is what i am looking for:
 
- i am young good looking 28yr old businessman and practising muslim
- i want a lawful fuck buddy but on a long term basis
 
however i cannot just cum to you like the average punter as i follow my
religion. i will pay you to marry me (nothing official just a sermon) and
there onwards i will pay you your normal rates+extras. I would just like
to have fun with you just the one woman and not loads of different ones,
but cannot do so until i am lawfully able to engage/touch you. Does this
make sense to you?
 
this is a long term arrangment as i have a wife already but she cannot
fulfill my sexual desires, i will require meetings 2-3 times a week.
 
FOR YOU this is a long term customer with cash no strings just intimacy as
usual with the exception of a trip to a mosque once to accept marriage.
then ill be coming to you and ONLY you since i dont play with women
unlawfully
 
if this is not suitable for you then i apologize for being so forward and
wish you all the best for your future.
kind regards
Moron
-----------------------------------------------------------------

No Danae - you must be the chosen one!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: divine_madonna on 26 April 2012, 04:21:15 pm
Quote
No Danae - you must be the chosen one!!!

Lol. Lucky me!!! Always dreamed a knobhead like that one would hunt me down and propose to me without actually ever having met me. Does he really think I?m that desperate or deranged that I would accompany a complete wanker sorry stranger to a mosque and go through with a sham marriage?! Maybe it?s a visa scam...?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BBW_Cora on 26 April 2012, 08:57:25 pm
I've seen a few muslim men who certainly didn't need to marry me to have sex with me  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 26 April 2012, 10:21:49 pm

'Can you make me a video of you making fun of me and laughing at me for being a 23 yr old ugly muslim virgin with a tiny dick whos never been kissed too? Then would it be possible to meet you so you can dominate me and force me to suck your dick and do other stuff?' ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 27 April 2012, 12:07:50 am
I use to have a regular Muslim guy who I used to have to 'marry' each time we met and he'd divorce me straight after the deed was done! I stopped seeing him as it really got on my tits having to do it each time...and it was just so ridiculous.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: divine_madonna on 27 April 2012, 12:14:04 am
Quote
I use to have a regular Muslim guy who I used to have to 'marry' each time we met and he'd divorce me straight after the deed was done! I stopped seeing him as it really got on my tits having to do it each time...and it was just so ridiculous.

Are you serious?! :o
What exactly did this marriage ceremony involve? Did you have to attend a mosque?...or is my would-be-hubby just a die-hard traditionalist?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lilith on 27 April 2012, 03:15:03 am
I confirm.

It's usual in countries directed by Muslim governments.
Peoples can't have sex without getting married, it's in the laws : no problem, they invented the "gulp'n'go wedding".
Usually its a question of legality, as in those countries you can't go in an hotel with someone who's not your husband/wife/family, same if your where caught somehere else.
In strict countries, punishment can be death for the woman and harsh social stigma for the man (which most part of the time leeds to suicide if the guy doesn't leave the country)...

It's the first time I hear about people doing this in a matter of religion only. In this case it's a bit strange IMHO...

So, back to topic, the guy can be genuine. It's just an unusual query.



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 27 April 2012, 06:57:03 am
Phone call at 22:30 last night:
Me: Where are you?
Tommy: I still want to come and see you as you are not foreign. Can I come at 00:30?
Me: Sure if you have ?xx
Tommy: It's my first time so I'll pay you ?xxx to make it really special for me
Me: Fine, speak to you then
Me: Knowing this is obvious bullshit, switches phone to silent, turns lights off and goes to sleep
Me: Just checking phone: missed call from Tommy at 2am!  Tommy is the worst sort of {obvious} time waster: a fantasist


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 27 April 2012, 09:35:53 pm
Quote from: Juliette on 26 April 2012, 10:21:49 pm

'Can you make me a video of you making fun of me and laughing at me for being a 23 yr old ugly muslim virgin with a tiny dick whos never been kissed too? Then would it be possible to meet you so you can dominate me and force me to suck your dick and do other stuff?' ;D

*grumble* I just got the edited version: 'hi will you make me a video of you laughing and making fun of me for being
a 23 yr old ugly muslim virgin with a tiny dick whos never been kissed too'

second in line and not even the offer of cock sucking!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 28 April 2012, 01:36:02 am
[quote author=Danae link=topic=1637.msg73300#msg73300 date=1335482044

Are you serious?! :o
What exactly did this marriage ceremony involve? Did you have to attend a mosque?...or is my would-be-hubby just a die-hard traditionalist?
[/quote]

No we never went to the Mosque but we had to have a male witness (his friend) I'd have to repeat a load of Arabic after him, in front of his mate, then go off to the room and do the business and then as I was getting dressed he'd divorce me! lol

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: drizzyfan on 28 April 2012, 01:46:17 am
Quote from: Coty on 28 April 2012, 01:36:02 am
[quote author=Danae link=topic=1637.msg73300#msg73300 date=1335482044

Are you serious?! :o
What exactly did this marriage ceremony involve? Did you have to attend a mosque?...or is my would-be-hubby just a die-hard traditionalist?

No we never went to the Mosque but we had to have a male witness (his friend) I'd have to repeat a load of Arabic after him, in front of his mate, then go off to the room and do the business and then as I was getting dressed he'd divorce me! lol
[/quote]


This is possibly the funniest thing I have read in my life. LOL
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sahrbear on 28 April 2012, 09:50:34 am


text message from TW: Hi, can i call you?
ME: Yes.
TW: What number should I call?
me: um....the number you're sending text messages to.
TW: This one?

I turned off my phone.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Carla on 28 April 2012, 12:08:47 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 25 April 2012, 10:01:16 am

Welllllllll. I know both areas extremely well, and there are no "lovely apartments" which are a minutes walk from the town hall. UNLESS he's talking about the flats above the Arndale Centre (now renamed "Southsides") which I can assure you aren't what anyone would call "lovely" (although the interior of his might be!) or "apartments".

ALSO. Battersea is quite a desolute place for hotels - although there's a new Travelodge going up in Clapham Junction at the mo (Clapham Junction IS central Battersea). I can think of 3 hotels within SW11, one of them is a Travelodge that looks more like a hostel, and 2 of them are new builds. The 2 new builds - Verta & Rafayel - are 5 star, but I've tried to assess them for suitability to work from, and they don't look ideal (reception hard to find and not busy, and my queries to them haven't been answered properly, so I haven't even been able to find out if it's keycarded lifts etc) so I'm not sure how he manages to have sex parties in either of those without being noticed. That's if he actually has done any yet  ::)  ;D

Good luck to him if he is holding sex parties in the Rafayel- the last time I took a job there the security guard insisted on walking me to my client's hotel room!!!!  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 28 April 2012, 12:27:41 pm

'I've got a meeting to go to this morning and don't know when it'll end shall I call after.'
What is it with these mystery 'meetings' on a Saturday!? And more to the point why call an escort up if you don't know when you'll be free to visit!?
Why is honesty impossible for so many of these guys! They seem to like to portray themselves as high flying business types god knows why.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 28 April 2012, 12:30:10 pm
It is probably just another way of asking are you available today.  It certainly deserves no more time then yes I am available please let me know when you know and leaving it at that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 28 April 2012, 12:41:13 pm
Quote from: Kristina Bristol Escort on 28 April 2012, 12:30:10 pm
It is probably just another way of asking are you available today.  It certainly deserves no more time then yes I am available please let me know when you know and leaving it at that.

Perhaps, I just find this 'going to a meeting' nonsense ridiculous particularly on a Saturday morning!
I always ask that they just call giving an hour's notice so seems silly to me to call and then say you have no idea when you'd be able to see me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 28 April 2012, 01:44:10 pm
Quote from: Juliette on 28 April 2012, 12:41:13 pm
Quote from: Kristina Bristol Escort on 28 April 2012, 12:30:10 pm
It is probably just another way of asking are you available today.  It certainly deserves no more time then yes I am available please let me know when you know and leaving it at that.

Perhaps, I just find this 'going to a meeting' nonsense ridiculous particularly on a Saturday morning!
I always ask that they just call giving an hour's notice so seems silly to me to call and then say you have no idea when you'd be able to see me.

Some people genuinely have unpredictable lives, especially if they have to sneak away from work or partners. Because I can never be sure when my bookings will be say from week to week, even day to day I used to find it difficult to make Drs/Dentists/Nail/Hair/arrange time with friends etc. I've gotten used to it now and simply move things around, make definite commitments as I see fit etc.

Some guys also like to phone several girls and decide last minute. That's up to them if they are prepared to be disappointed if the lady of their choice is no longer able to see them. Occasionally this disappointment isn't always expressed very well, but that's up to them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 28 April 2012, 02:25:15 pm

Oh I realise that but I just think the idea of half these guys going to a 'meeting' so amusing! What kind of 'meeting' do they have in mind? Would be funny to ask what exactly these 'meetings' concerned. I suppose they think it sounds good and makes them sound like sophisticated professionals or something...
I just think its pretentious personally!
Its the same as this 'just had an urgent call back to work' at the last minute type things so pathetic that they can't just tell the truth!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 28 April 2012, 02:26:41 pm
Quote from: strawberry on 28 April 2012, 01:44:10 pm

Some guys also like to phone several girls and decide last minute. That's up to them if they are prepared to be disappointed if the lady of their choice is no longer able to see them. Occasionally this disappointment isn't always expressed very well, but that's up to them.

Yes I would agree on a few occasions I have had guys phone me and ask if I am available in the next 10 minutes when I say sorry no I am not available until xx time some at times get disappointed and sometimes quite stroppy.  It is beyond me, I do not mind last minute at all but it is very much take their chance, if I can I will and it is worth a phone call to ask but it does annoy me when they get stroppy because I am busy!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 28 April 2012, 02:29:23 pm
Quote from: Juliette on 28 April 2012, 02:25:15 pm

Oh I realise that but I just think the idea of half these guys going to a 'meeting' so amusing! What kind of 'meeting' do they have in mind? Would be funny to ask what exactly these 'meetings' concerned. I suppose they think it sounds good and makes them sound like sophisticated professionals or something...
I just think its pretentious personally!
Its the same as this 'just had an urgent call back to work' at the last minute type things so pathetic that they can't just tell the truth!

They may be 'meeting' their wife girlfriend for shopping and need a little treat before they do!!!  I once had someone loose his girlfriend in Cribs and drive to me for half an hour session as he could not stand shopping LOL I cannot say I don't blame him I don't like shopping too much either!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 28 April 2012, 03:23:19 pm
Quote from: Kristina Bristol Escort on 28 April 2012, 02:29:23 pm
Quote from: Juliette on 28 April 2012, 02:25:15 pm

Oh I realise that but I just think the idea of half these guys going to a 'meeting' so amusing! What kind of 'meeting' do they have in mind? Would be funny to ask what exactly these 'meetings' concerned. I suppose they think it sounds good and makes them sound like sophisticated professionals or something...
I just think its pretentious personally!
Its the same as this 'just had an urgent call back to work' at the last minute type things so pathetic that they can't just tell the truth!

They may be 'meeting' their wife girlfriend for shopping and need a little treat before they do!!!  I once had someone loose his girlfriend in Cribs and drive to me for half an hour session as he could not stand shopping LOL I cannot say I don't blame him I don't like shopping too much either!

'Meeting' can be used to describe all sorts of things, from business appointment to meeting the wife to go shopping - and is used widely by a wide range of people. I don't necessarily assume it means he's about to do a deal with Richard Branson. On the other side I've learned that the word 'appointment' is often assumed to mean I've a client lined up, when I actually arrange appointments in other areas of my life (as already mentioned). It's just words people use.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: scottishmilf on 29 April 2012, 12:11:19 am
Quote from: Meganx on 23 April 2012, 11:07:31 pm
Quote from: Jamie Drake on 23 April 2012, 03:51:33 pm
Had some strange ones but this is just sick  :-X

Quote
Hello, this may sound a bit weird and im sorry for that, but reading all your profile and details, it seems to me that my daughter is one of your friends. would you meet me anyway?
thanks

How the hell can you tell your daughter is one of my friends everything on my AW is lies! name age ect i have one terrible picture on it and its not a face pic.

Also why would you want to book your daughters friend? you freak?

Sorry for the rant, i just skimmed threw 20 odd TW emails saw one that was respecful, polite THEN 2 emails in he askes "hun are you a horney girl hun?

Im not having a good day today PFFT :FF :FF :FF

I got this Email to? I was like, Where do you live? He replied "harrow" I said, You lived there all your life? he replied "yes" I replied, Well, That's funny because i've only been in london a few months, and dont socialise with any girls from "harrow" (making it clear I wouldn't know his daughter) I think it's some sort of sick role play he thinks of  :-X

What London? i live in Edinburgh......
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mimi_ on 29 April 2012, 02:39:13 am
Quote from: London honey on 28 April 2012, 09:50:34 am


text message from TW: Hi, can i call you?
ME: Yes.
TW: What number should I call?
me: um....the number you're sending text messages to.
TW: This one?

I turned off my phone.  :FF

This is sooo funny!!! x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 29 April 2012, 05:08:40 pm
"Hi sexy babe

I have just viewed your profile . WOW !! Very sexy pictures babe .

Im looking to meet sexy lady for regular sex sessions .

I really like your pictures babe , very very sexy, made my cock hard . I've had a few wanks over them and need to taste the real thing .

Can we meet ASAP for session ? "

Hmmmmm.....let me think about it....NOPE! Delete/block!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Phoenix on 29 April 2012, 06:06:37 pm
Looks like I missed the opp' of a lifetime here girls..
 
Had a text on Monday from a guy I have seen once before. Boundary pusher ( nothing I can't handle ) and a bit of a fantasist.
Asked was I free Saturday night? ( Free? no. Not even reasonable for the area, sorry  ;D ). Replied yes, but could he confirm time and duration? Said he was out in Marbella and would confirm Wednesday. Fast forward to Saturday late afternoon:

Text: Sos babe was really busy. Yous still ok for 2nite?

( several hours pass as I am too busy to reply )..

Sorry Darling! Early confirmation is essential! Feel free to book another time though xx

( Several hours pass as he composes this cutting response )..

"It was to be a week long booking. Needed you out in Spain. Thought ?15000 would be enough. Sorry to bother you."

"I am not available for long bookings. You weren't bothering me. Best wishes xx "

?15000 or not - this dude  tried to stuff his willy into me without the condom. Not something I couldn't block with  strategically posted hands and a stern warning, but 7 days of that?? No thanks!

He also hints at sessions in exchange for Botox  jabs.

 The only jabbing of a botox needle would have been heading straight into his butt if he'd tried that again   >:(

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 29 April 2012, 07:54:25 pm
Quote from: Coty on 29 April 2012, 05:08:40 pm
"Hi sexy babe

I have just viewed your profile . WOW !! Very sexy pictures babe .

Im looking to meet sexy lady for regular sex sessions .

I really like your pictures babe , very very sexy, made my cock hard . I've had a few wanks over them and need to taste the real thing .

Can we meet ASAP for session ? "

Hmmmmm.....let me think about it....NOPE! Delete/block!

Haha!! To be honest, I would have replied "Thanks for your message, please let me know when you have a definite date/time/place you'd like to see me" and then enjoy the silence afterwards ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: drizzyfan on 29 April 2012, 08:02:06 pm
I'm interested in an overnight booking in the next few weeks. This would be at a top hotel in central London, most likely around Kensington.

The night would include drinks and possibly a club for a little dirty dancing and further flirting. Then back to the hotel for some great sex.

Are you able to do anything rates wise at all? I hate asking that! I've had overnighters in the past for ?300 - would this be possible?


If you hate asking, then why ask?
If you can afford a top hotel then why cannot you pay the price of stated for an overnight?
And if you have had overnighters in the past for ?300, then get in touch with them instead!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: improbablecats on 29 April 2012, 08:05:36 pm
I've also had this message from this idiot. Many months ago, though.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: drizzyfan on 29 April 2012, 08:14:16 pm
So delusional,
why does he bother!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MISS RUBY on 29 April 2012, 08:21:43 pm
Ladies just had this one from        Young-Cock-92 on AW


 Heyy There Babe,

I Was Just Contacting You To Tell You That If Your Interested In Doing A Free Session?

(((Check My Profile))) I'm 19 And sexy Spanish :)

> I Would Lick Your Pussy + Asshole Or Do Anything Else You Want :)

Also I Could Only Travel To Your Home Or Hotel

Take Caree x X x

 to which i replied saying i would love him to CUM to a hotel i( wasnt) staying at, in a room i (wasnt in )!!!! ha ha 
Ruby x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 29 April 2012, 10:08:12 pm
What a waste!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 29 April 2012, 10:36:40 pm
Quote from: improbablecats on 29 April 2012, 08:05:36 pm
I've also had this message from this idiot. Many months ago, though.

Me too!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 29 April 2012, 10:37:45 pm
Quote from: Secret R on 29 April 2012, 08:21:43 pm
Ladies just had this one from        Young-Cock-92 on AW


 Heyy There Babe,

I Was Just Contacting You To Tell You That If Your Interested In Doing A Free Session?

(((Check My Profile))) I'm 19 And sexy Spanish :)

> I Would Lick Your Pussy + Asshole Or Do Anything Else You Want :)

Also I Could Only Travel To Your Home Or Hotel

Take Caree x X x

 to which i replied saying i would love him to CUM to a hotel i( wasnt) staying at, in a room i (wasnt in )!!!! ha ha 
Ruby x


I've had this one too!!! They're really doing the rounds this weekend. They must all be stuck indoors because of the rain and got nothing better to do!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 30 April 2012, 02:34:09 am
I'm sure I'm not the only one to receive this!

"hey there Add me on skype names chocowa** i alo have msn, the thought of a woman watch wank turns me on and i do it for free"

HE DOES IT FOR FREE LADIES!! Nice orderly queue please, no pushing in!!!


(WARNING LADIES, click on his profile ONLY if you wanna see a 2-tone (bright pink helmet/dark brown shaft) dick, cos that's the only thing worth looking at! (apart from the fact his duvet cover makes it look like he has some weird skin disease)...)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 30 April 2012, 09:55:25 am
Quote from: drizzyfan on 29 April 2012, 08:02:06 pm
I've had overnighters in the past for ?300 - would this be possible?

My reply would have been: No.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 30 April 2012, 09:59:24 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 30 April 2012, 02:34:09 am
the thought of a woman watch wank turns me on and i do it for free[/i]"

Ye Gods, how obsessed can you be about a body part that, let's face it, is designed for function and only in some cases could be considered a thing of beauty? Can you imagine if we were like that, hands down our skirts forever readjusting our clits/labia in public, counting how many times a day we felt a bit horny and insisting on telling everyone about it, and endlessly sending pics of our vag's to men who didn't want or ask for them?!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 30 April 2012, 10:20:35 am
I have seen one particular client before, and he wanted to book me again today. However, he asked if my security needed to be there, because it's 'sordid'  :-\ This really really annoyed me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 30 April 2012, 12:46:07 pm
Quote from: bananamuffin on 30 April 2012, 09:59:24 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 30 April 2012, 02:34:09 am
the thought of a woman watch wank turns me on and i do it for free[/i]"

Ye Gods, how obsessed can you be about a body part that, let's face it, is designed for function and only in some cases could be considered a thing of beauty? Can you imagine if we were like that, hands down our skirts forever readjusting our clits/labia in public, counting how many times a day we felt a bit horny and insisting on telling everyone about it, and endlessly sending pics of our vag's to men who didn't want or ask for them?!!!!

LMAO!!! That gave me a giggle to start the day!  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 30 April 2012, 06:19:01 pm
I've already had Mr "I've got an incredibly small penis should I have it extended so it's 2ft long but only 3mm wide man", now this - do you think it's the same bloke or a different one?!!?  This could be my first job you know. If only I were available at the time(s) he needs (I genuinely am not available though lol!!):

Dear Bananmuffin,
I am a 57 year old businessman from Scotland who visits Birmingham on a regular basis. I have enjoyed viewing your website and Adultwork profile and would like to humbly request an appointment. I am visiting Birmingham tomorrow and, with apologies for the short notice, wondered whether you might be available for a one hour or one and a half hour appointment from around 11.45 am tomorrow morning (I arrive at New Street at 11.10) or alternatively an appointment in the early evening?
The services that I would be interested in, with your permission, are:
Foot worship;
Over the knee spanking (you giving, me receiving);
Humiliation (you giving, me receiving; I have a small penis and just one very small testicle and I am unable to satisfy my wife sexually; as a consequence she has had numerous affairs during our marriage including with my best friend and with one of my brothers);
Oral (me giving, you receiving);
Rimming (me giving, you receiving);
Hand relief (but only if you consider that I deserve it).
Please accept my sincere apologies if any of my suggestions cause offence. I am very submissive and would welcome the opportunity to spoil and pamper you; to worship and adore you; and to be humiliated and laughed at by you (mission accomplished ha ha ha!!).
Once again, please accept my apologies for the short notice of my request for an appointment. Should you be available and consider me worthy of an appointment please let me know what time would be convenient and what fee would be payable.
I hope to hear from you. Yours submissively, Halfsack).

Views ladies?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 30 April 2012, 06:22:37 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 30 April 2012, 12:46:07 pm
Quote from: bananamuffin on 30 April 2012, 09:59:24 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 30 April 2012, 02:34:09 am
the thought of a woman watch wank turns me on and i do it for free[/i]"

Ye Gods, how obsessed can you be about a body part that, let's face it, is designed for function and only in some cases could be considered a thing of beauty? Can you imagine if we were like that, hands down our skirts forever readjusting our clits/labia in public, counting how many times a day we felt a bit horny and insisting on telling everyone about it, and endlessly sending pics of our vag's to men who didn't want or ask for them?!!!!

LMAO!!! That gave me a giggle to start the day!  :D

Then my day is complete!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ellie_e on 30 April 2012, 07:10:58 pm
Quote from: drizzyfan on 29 April 2012, 08:02:06 pm
I'm interested in an overnight booking in the next few weeks. This would be at a top hotel in central London, most likely around Kensington.

The night would include drinks and possibly a club for a little dirty dancing and further flirting. Then back to the hotel for some great sex.

Are you able to do anything rates wise at all? I hate asking that! I've had overnighters in the past for ?300 - would this be possible?


If you hate asking, then why ask?
If you can afford a top hotel then why cannot you pay the price of stated for an overnight?
And if you have had overnighters in the past for ?300, then get in touch with them instead!

Cannot believe this guy is still trying this bullsh*t!!  He's been sending the same email for months....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hot Pepper on 30 April 2012, 08:02:02 pm

received this evening

Heyy There Babe,

I Was Just Contacting You To Tell You That If Your Interested In Doing A Free Session?

(((Check My Profile))) I'm 19 And sexy Spanish :)

> I Would Lick Your Pussy + Asshole Or Do Anything Else You Want :)

Also I Could Only Travel To Your Home Or Hotel

Take Caree x X x


IIRESISTIBLE !!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 30 April 2012, 08:09:49 pm
Quote from: Hot Pepper on 30 April 2012, 08:02:02 pm

received this evening

Heyy There Babe,

I Was Just Contacting You To Tell You That If Your Interested In Doing A Free Session?

(((Check My Profile))) I'm 19 And sexy Spanish :)

> I Would Lick Your Pussy + Asshole Or Do Anything Else You Want :)

Also I Could Only Travel To Your Home Or Hotel

Take Caree x X x


IIRESISTIBLE !!!!!!

Am I the only person who hasn't had this one? :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 30 April 2012, 08:26:23 pm
No Amy I did not have this one either.  Maybe we did something wrong to be excluded from such a devine offer LOL x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ana30 on 30 April 2012, 08:49:17 pm
Quote
Dear Bananmuffin,
I am a 57 year old businessman from Scotland who visits Birmingham on a regular basis. I have enjoyed viewing your website and Adultwork profile and would like to humbly request an appointment. I am visiting Birmingham tomorrow and, with apologies for the short notice, wondered whether you might be available for a one hour or one and a half hour appointment from around 11.45 am tomorrow morning (I arrive at New Street at 11.10) or alternatively an appointment in the early evening?
The services that I would be interested in, with your permission, are:
Foot worship;
Over the knee spanking (you giving, me receiving);
Humiliation (you giving, me receiving; I have a small penis and just one very small testicle and I am unable to satisfy my wife sexually; as a consequence she has had numerous affairs during our marriage including with my best friend and with one of my brothers);
Oral (me giving, you receiving);
Rimming (me giving, you receiving);
Hand relief (but only if you consider that I deserve it).
Please accept my sincere apologies if any of my suggestions cause offence. I am very submissive and would welcome the opportunity to spoil and pamper you; to worship and adore you; and to be humiliated and laughed at by you (mission accomplished ha ha ha!!).
Once again, please accept my apologies for the short notice of my request for an appointment. Should you be available and consider me worthy of an appointment please let me know what time would be convenient and what fee would be payable.
I hope to hear from you. Yours submissively, Halfsack).

Views ladies?

Charge him double. Tell him it's because you always do as you please in sessions and don't like following orders (he as a long list of them) and that's why you're charging him double.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: drizzyfan on 30 April 2012, 09:13:17 pm
Do I have stupid idiot plastered on me or something??


another guy asking for 300 quid overnighters at my place (I say outcall only) and that he would love to fuck me in harrods I reply:


Where does it say incalls are available on my profile?

And why would I meet you for an overnight for only ?300? That is insulting.

I would never have sex in harrods or any other public place as that is not discreet.

Please read profiles before sending the same generic message out.


And he replied calling me a stupid bitch; first time someone has been rude to me, i thought my message was fine? -_-
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 30 April 2012, 11:51:30 pm
Quote from: bananamuffin on 30 April 2012, 06:19:01 pm
I've already had Mr "I've got an incredibly small penis should I have it extended so it's 2ft long but only 3mm wide man", now this - do you think it's the same bloke or a different one?!!?  This could be my first job you know. If only I were available at the time(s) he needs (I genuinely am not available though lol!!):

Dear Bananmuffin,
I am a 57 year old businessman from Scotland who visits Birmingham on a regular basis. I have enjoyed viewing your website and Adultwork profile and would like to humbly request an appointment. I am visiting Birmingham tomorrow and, with apologies for the short notice, wondered whether you might be available for a one hour or one and a half hour appointment from around 11.45 am tomorrow morning (I arrive at New Street at 11.10) or alternatively an appointment in the early evening?
The services that I would be interested in, with your permission, are:
Foot worship;
Over the knee spanking (you giving, me receiving);
Humiliation (you giving, me receiving; I have a small penis and just one very small testicle and I am unable to satisfy my wife sexually; as a consequence she has had numerous affairs during our marriage including with my best friend and with one of my brothers);
Oral (me giving, you receiving);
Rimming (me giving, you receiving);
Hand relief (but only if you consider that I deserve it).
Please accept my sincere apologies if any of my suggestions cause offence. I am very submissive and would welcome the opportunity to spoil and pamper you; to worship and adore you; and to be humiliated and laughed at by you (mission accomplished ha ha ha!!).
Once again, please accept my apologies for the short notice of my request for an appointment. Should you be available and consider me worthy of an appointment please let me know what time would be convenient and what fee would be payable.
I hope to hear from you. Yours submissively, Halfsack).

Views ladies?

Hmm. He SOUNDS genuine, but the email is a little long. However, he IS sub, so that may explain it.

I would humour him, don't give him lengthy messages back, keep it to the "yes, I'm free, you need to call at X time tomorrow" whatever, booking procedures etc so that he doesn't get free sex chat or wank fodder and see where it goes.

If he DOES turn out to be your first: Good luck and tell us how it went!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BBW_Cora on 01 May 2012, 12:35:35 am
I agree with Cat he sounds genuine to me, humiliation emails can be hard to tell, especially the bit about his wife having affairs with his best friend and brother (potential wanking material) but he has most likely included that in his email so that you can use it to belittle and humiliate him with :)

Like Cat, I would keep emails clear and to the point.  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 01 May 2012, 05:52:20 am
'Hi Mistress,

 I am 29yo, 180cm, 78kg, bluish eyes, blond hair.  I am looking for strict Mistress, I am into strict discipline, obedience, humiliation etc. If my no experience is not problem, I would like to have session with you. I know your rates are much higher but could I have initially something very simple like foot worship for lets say ?50 please ?


Thank you
cheap loser'

erm, I think I can see the 'logic' he is following here, but NO...you don't even get a reply for that price.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 01 May 2012, 06:45:48 am
Thank you both - yes, I actually felt there was a genuine feel to it (it was just the going on about his missus and his one ball that threw me lol!!). I have replied and well, we shall see!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 01 May 2012, 12:17:04 pm
There's a similiar humiliation type guy around, who texts me, asking me out to dinner but only if I wear 'very slutty' and 'trashy' clothes. Idiot. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 01 May 2012, 10:59:39 pm
Quote from: Ellie_e on 30 April 2012, 07:10:58 pm
Quote from: drizzyfan on 29 April 2012, 08:02:06 pm
I'm interested in an overnight booking in the next few weeks. This would be at a top hotel in central London, most likely around Kensington.

The night would include drinks and possibly a club for a little dirty dancing and further flirting. Then back to the hotel for some great sex.

Are you able to do anything rates wise at all? I hate asking that! I've had overnighters in the past for ?300 - would this be possible?


If you hate asking, then why ask?
If you can afford a top hotel then why cannot you pay the price of stated for an overnight?
And if you have had overnighters in the past for ?300, then get in touch with them instead!

Cannot believe this guy is still trying this bullsh*t!!  He's been sending the same email for months....

Incorrect.  He's been sending this email for years
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsummer on 02 May 2012, 03:56:25 pm
Been so quiet this week I could cry, not had a single booking! Very few calls, and mainly enquiries, had this one today:

Cheapskate: Hi, I was wondering if you were working today?
Me: Yes I am, what time did you have in mind?
CS: Soon. Just to clarify, it's ?60 for 30 mins?
Me: No, it's ?80.
CS: Oh. (hangs up)

FFS! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: taylorpersonal on 04 May 2012, 12:56:42 am
Has anyone had the bloke who wants to meet in the countryside with you on a horse email? No sex, just a brief meeting for as much money as you want?

Pure entertainment, I replied with "nice idea, but I don't have a horse" just for giggles and left it there but he kept coming back with more suggestions: none of which got a response but did make me smile. He then wanted to meet in a tack room, or bring a horse box, or just a saddle will do. Brilliant. All in my first week as well. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 04 May 2012, 01:40:02 pm
Quote from: taylorpersonal on 04 May 2012, 12:56:42 am
Has anyone had the bloke who wants to meet in the countryside with you on a horse email? No sex, just a brief meeting for as much money as you want?

Pure entertainment, I replied with "nice idea, but I don't have a horse" just for giggles and left it there but he kept coming back with more suggestions: none of which got a response but did make me smile. He then wanted to meet in a tack room, or bring a horse box, or just a saddle will do. Brilliant. All in my first week as well.

Ha ha ha, this is funny and reminds me of something that happened when I was about 18. I used to work with horses and the local authority carry out inspections to make sure you're not using horses that are lame or anything else untoward. So this had taken place several days previously when the phone rang with a potential new riding pupil wanting some lessons or to go out on a ride. He asks various questions then "Have you been inspected?". Yes - I said (thinking god, he's on the ball about equine welfare). Then he goes and spoils it all and says "yes, but have you been inspected with your jodhpurs down?" !!!!! Me and the other groom were in fits of giggles. The whole horsey thing must really do it for some people lol!!!  This could be an area I could go into, if ONLY i have a field and a stable!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Masha on 04 May 2012, 08:11:00 pm
idiot: hi are you free on monday?
Me: yes, text or call on monday to make a booking.
idiot: ok, thats great, would you let me try it inside you, but won't cum inside? (My profile says that I don't offer bareback under any circumstances)
Me: sure! as long as you don't mind catching aids, Chlamydia and gonorrhea.
Idiot: :)
I did not answer him anymore. After 5 mins:
idiot: so?
 :FF  :FF  :FF  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 04 May 2012, 08:14:05 pm
Quote from: Masha on 04 May 2012, 08:11:00 pm
Me: sure! as long as you don't mind catching aids, Chlamydia and gonorrhea

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!! Oooh!! Proper laughing. xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 05 May 2012, 02:12:16 pm
Chancer John in Harpenden.
Contacted me a year + ago (he is on my phonebook)

He has just rung me and seen my AW profile.
He actually asked for free access to my private gallery
as he might book me sometime.

Hummmm.....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 05 May 2012, 02:42:29 pm
Jodie that was poetic  ;D  x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 05 May 2012, 04:38:34 pm
"Hi honey. Would you let me come see you for a quick bonk for ?30 today ? X"

I love AW  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 05 May 2012, 08:12:02 pm
The word "bonk" always puts me in mind of fancy aristocrats and the like, but this guy obviously isn't an aristocrat! x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hot Pepper on 05 May 2012, 08:58:47 pm
TEXT

Its Marvin, I saw your add on VivastreetI was wondering if you will be interested in joining our escort/modelling agency our site www. thelinkup.co.uk please get in touch love to hear from you  email pictures to info@thelinkup.co.uk

Ceo
Marvin

Delusions of grandeur !!! I resisted the temptation but if anyone else fancies it !


Edit by Emily: Removed direct link.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 05 May 2012, 11:56:39 pm
Quote from: Masha on 04 May 2012, 08:11:00 pm
idiot: hi are you free on monday?
Me: yes, text or call on monday to make a booking.
idiot: ok, thats great, would you let me try it inside you, but won't cum inside? (My profile says that I don't offer bareback under any circumstances)
Me: sure! as long as you don't mind catching aids, Chlamydia and gonorrhea.
Idiot: :)
I did not answer him anymore. After 5 mins:
idiot: so?
 :FF  :FF  :FF  :FF

What an absolute moron  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Masha on 06 May 2012, 10:00:33 pm
Idiot: Do you enjoy sleeping with ugly guys?
Me: Nope, so please don't text me any more. I won't sleep with you.
Idiot: Why you not sleep with me??
Me: you will know that when I report your number to police for explicit and rude texts.

Haven't heard from him any more  ;D  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 06 May 2012, 11:23:31 pm
Quote from: Masha on 06 May 2012, 10:00:33 pm
Idiot: Do you enjoy sleeping with ugly guys????
Me: Nope, so please don't text me any more. I won't sleep with you.
Idiot: Why you not sleep with me??
Me: you will know that when I report your number to police for explicit and rude texts.

I don't get it...  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverbird on 07 May 2012, 10:59:42 pm
Quote from: taylorpersonal on 04 May 2012, 12:56:42 am
Has anyone had the bloke who wants to meet in the countryside with you on a horse email? No sex, just a brief meeting for as much money as you want?

Pure entertainment, I replied with "nice idea, but I don't have a horse" just for giggles and left it there but he kept coming back with more suggestions: none of which got a response but did make me smile. He then wanted to meet in a tack room, or bring a horse box, or just a saddle will do. Brilliant. All in my first week as well. 

Nothin' worse than being saddle sore. :P Hot to trot, he is not!!... Jilly C eat ya heart out ;D
W.x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 10 May 2012, 05:54:24 pm
'hi there I am half Asian and half Arab and new to this world of cock and frocks - very clean and average build guy with 6.5 inch cut cock to play with - I lov both ways oral - lov to RIM YOU as it make me very horny - I dont take but u can rub between my butt cheeks and cum - lov to fuck ur juicy hole and cum on ur butt - Would lov to meet for 15-20 min of kinky lov session in this damp weather to hot things up - Can pay ?40 for this - Please let me know if we can explore each others body today after 6:30 pm :-)

lov n xxxx
Bobby xxxxxx'
 
Wow what an enticing offer! ::) :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 10 May 2012, 07:10:12 pm
"Haven't got any cash but I can swipe my credit card in your slot" - paraphrased from the text speak.

I only accept AMEX, lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: secretcallgirl91 on 12 May 2012, 02:44:00 pm
Phone up wanting a long old chat.

And clients asking for my personal number even though they haven't met me or even booked an appointment!

I am so hormonal today and clients just p1$$ed me off even more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: secretcallgirl91 on 12 May 2012, 04:28:10 pm
Client asked me to give  him patheticly stupid discount and if I bring a friend for a duo he'll pay me an extra 5er

Please don't all fight at once!! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 12 May 2012, 04:32:24 pm


Oh yeah count me in! (You will give me the fiver won't you and not keep it for yourself? lmao)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: secretcallgirl91 on 12 May 2012, 04:35:05 pm
How about I give u 2.50? 5er is too much its not like you'll have to do a lot and I'm sure we will be in very safe hands!

Hahaha!!!! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 12 May 2012, 04:36:58 pm
Hahahahaha:-) You drive a heard bargain but yeah 50/50 sounds fair!
I'll just walk to the meeting to save on fares so I'll be ?2.50 up at the end of the night lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: divine_madonna on 12 May 2012, 04:38:25 pm
Wow all that money, you lucky, lucky girls! If you need a driver, happy to oblige, if you wouldn?t mind paying me 50p out of that jackpot amount  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 12 May 2012, 04:47:09 pm
LOL
Yeah I'll give you 50p, I'll still be ?2 up and won't have to walk!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cherry-D on 12 May 2012, 04:55:45 pm
are these muppets for real??? ive had similar calls this week  ::) if I said " keep ya cash mate this ones on me!" they would still want summat else! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cherry-D on 12 May 2012, 04:57:39 pm
that and "can i have a face pic?" or "ive logged off now can you go through your profile (word for f**king word) then send me some pics?"


erm in a word mate...no! now jog on!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 12 May 2012, 05:00:27 pm
I had the opposite last night....mind you at least he had the decency to ask.

"Can I send to a pic of my cock?"

Hmmm, no you're alright thanks......BLOCK!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 12 May 2012, 05:15:27 pm
This thread is making me LOL ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 12 May 2012, 06:00:12 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 12 May 2012, 05:15:27 pm
This thread is making me LOL ;D

Bet your jealous you didn't get in there first eh Cat? lmao
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: secretcallgirl91 on 12 May 2012, 06:07:15 pm
Quote from: Coty on 12 May 2012, 04:36:58 pm
Hahahahaha:-) You drive a heard bargain but yeah 50/50 sounds fair!
I'll just walk to the meeting to save on fares so I'll be ?2.50 up at the end of the night lol

why walk that money will go far you tight ass ;)

Quote from: Danae on 12 May 2012, 04:38:25 pm
Wow all that money, you lucky, lucky girls! If you need a driver, happy to oblige, if you wouldn?t mind paying me 50p out of that jackpot amount  ;D

ill give you 55p as im feeling generous today, me and coty have got lucky.



sorry to all that missed out, first come first served basis. maybe next time? x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: divine_madonna on 12 May 2012, 06:12:06 pm
Quote from: secretcallgirl91 on 12 May 2012, 06:07:15 pm

Quote from: Danae on 12 May 2012, 04:38:25 pm
Wow all that money, you lucky, lucky girls! If you need a driver, happy to oblige, if you wouldn?t mind paying me 50p out of that jackpot amount  ;D

ill give you 55p as im feeling generous today, me and coty have got lucky.



sorry to all that missed out, first come first served basis. maybe next time? x

Wow thank you. I?m soooooooo happy. Now I only need 254 more driving jobs like this one to make what I?d have made in a single hour selling my fanny. Who says times are hard?  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lala13 on 13 May 2012, 06:58:14 am
Just received a call at 5:30 am!
I miss the call but then I respond by text.

Me:Who is this ?

Fool :R u available ?

Me:When ?

Fool: Now

Me: NO. It's 5:50am and if you had read my profile , you also would have read the part where I say that I need notice.

Fool:So can u see me later and what's your name on adult world ?

Me:How did you get my number ?!

Fool: From adultwork ur the only sex (think he meant sexy)  black girl on there near enough

Me(panicking):So  if you found me on there , why are you asking for my name ? I'm lost

Fool:Cause I lost it i was on ipad it died so using my bb now

Me: Please refrain from calling so early. I need my beauty sleep.

[i]Fool:I told u because i lost ur page when my battery died m memory ain't to good and its full of fake ppl on there so can't find u[/i]

Me(now that he'd awoken me ,I was interested to see what he was gonna come up with):Anyways when would you like to meet , for how long and where ?

Fool:I'm in victoria and I was looking for a 2-3 hour 3sum. Me m friend and you.Were into all services not really anal though...

(I tell him off a bit then ask him what his AW profile name is) He then comes up with this:

Fool: I haven't got a profile on adultwork and what do you mean by a bit more precise me and my friend wana have a 3sum with sex and oral

(I tell him NO again) Then he says:

Fool: Could u meet me one up than

IGNORED....phone OFF....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lexi on 13 May 2012, 10:05:51 am
Ugh people like that are so annoying! Reading that just topped off the email that I just got, wondeing if anyone else got this too:

Hi Princess ,

I am looking for a beautiful young girl like yourself make fun and laugh about my wifes looks and force me to be unfaithfull to her.

I would like it very much if you made me bring pictures of her to you as you laugh about them and tell me how she is nothing compared to you and you have beaten her by making me do this.

You could call her names and even make me do this in our marital bed ?

Youth and beauty should come first ?

Prove how much better you are by making me do this and giggle about how you could ruin our families life if you wished to do so.

I have been with my wife for nearly 40 years and would love it if you would tell me how much more powerful and better you are than her.

Please force me to see you and make me do sexual things on our marital bed as you laugh about this.


Mathew

What?!?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 13 May 2012, 12:19:38 pm
Quote from: Coty on 12 May 2012, 05:00:27 pm
"Can I send to a pic of my cock?"

Jesus H Cr*st - what do they think, that we're going to be straight on the phone going "Oh my GODDDD your c*ck is so beautiful I want to f you for HOURS - without condoms - with my two friends, for FREE". I all my life I can honestly say, there's only been a couple of willies that I've thought , uuuh, that is a thing of beauty. It's not a common reaction I have to say!

Men.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: x-Jennifer-x on 14 May 2012, 02:58:00 am
I get this all the time!

Its 'what will you do for ?30?'
My reply is always 'My rates are on my page, please don't insult me by trying to lower them'

They reply 'I'm a clean young guy with good feedback, come on baby. For me please'

BLOCK.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 14 May 2012, 03:17:37 am
Quote from: bananamuffin on 13 May 2012, 12:19:38 pm
Quote from: Coty on 12 May 2012, 05:00:27 pm
"Can I send to a pic of my cock?"

Jesus H Cr*st - what do they think, that we're going to be straight on the phone going "Oh my GODDDD your c*ck is so beautiful I want to f you for HOURS - without condoms - with my two friends, for FREE". I all my life I can honestly say, there's only been a couple of willies that I've thought , uuuh, that is a thing of beauty. It's not a common reaction I have to say!

Men.
bwahahahahahahaha...oh man, next time someone sends me a pic of their dick I'm going to write all of that just for a joke!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 14 May 2012, 03:27:44 am
Urgh...what an awful man:-(
Poor wife.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sahrbear on 15 May 2012, 08:18:01 pm
Stopped doing OWO and man some men kill me.

I just got a call from a guy who said "can you tell me about your service". I already dislike this and alarm bells usually go because it's all on my website/ads

anyway I said "I don't do Oral without"
he: "what do you mean you don't do oral without?"
me: "umm...i mean I don't do it"
he: "why not?"
me: "because-"
he: "because I mean you're charging a very high rate and your clients are very upmarket aren't they"
me: "that makes no difference"
HE: "I think it does"
me: "look i have a boyfriend so i stopped oral without"
he: "you're working for your boyfriend"
me: "....no! but i stopped doing OWO out of respect for him" i don't even know why I was still on the phone with him by this point, i'm too polite!
and he continues....
he: "so okay i will see you if you do this service"
me: "i don't do that service"
he: "so you mean you wont do oral without?"
me: "..........No......."
he: "okay.....welll.....but-"
and i hung up.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :FF

Do I ring a pizza place and order chinese food? come on gentleman, USE YOUR BRAINS!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsNaughty on 15 May 2012, 08:53:17 pm
Hello all :)
My favourite phone call I've received today ;D ;D :
- Hi, do you meet black guys?
- Hi, yes.
- You know, I got a problem! I've got really big cock!
- There is a solution - cut it.
 :D

-
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 15 May 2012, 11:10:19 pm
I hate the big cock thing. Stupid idiots. :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 16 May 2012, 08:58:11 am
From yesterday's selection:

Idiot (by text): where are you

Me: I'm in Dublin city centre

Idiot: 50? OK

Me: 50? would be lovely. Just pop it under the door as you're passing, or for another 50 I'll let you in for a half hour.

Idiot: which street you in

Me: I'm on Chancer street. It's just off I Don't See Hagglers avenue.

Idiot: ring u later

You won't, since I've blocked your number ;D. Imagine that x 100 or so in order to experience an Ireland tour without leaving the comfort of your home...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 16 May 2012, 10:44:43 am
Amy, I love the way you handled it and am actually quite tempted to try it out myself (if I may)  :D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 16 May 2012, 10:53:47 am
Quote from: Purple Carrot on 16 May 2012, 10:44:43 am
Amy, I love the way you handled it and am actually quite tempted to try it out myself (if I may)  :D

Fill your boots. I like to imagine them trying to Google Map it ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 16 May 2012, 10:58:21 am
Thank you! I'm sure some of them would in fact try to look it up, and as much as I'd like to laugh about it, I can't... It's scary ( ;D)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: secretcallgirl91 on 17 May 2012, 06:41:28 pm
i told a client i dont do anal and his response was...

"if i give you lots of oral and you cum and really enjoy it then would you consider anal?"

fcuking idiot! really...!?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lovelylady on 17 May 2012, 09:34:57 pm
I've used to get "I'm an escort, your an escort, let's just hook up and have sex with each for free?"

Erm, I'm an escort, not a slag :L
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 17 May 2012, 10:22:53 pm
Quote from: raceyladylouise on 17 May 2012, 09:34:57 pm
I've used to get "I'm an escort, your an escort, let's just hook up and have sex with each for free?"

Erm, I'm an escort, not a slag :L

I hate those with a passion as well, it's beyond me that they think it ok to assume we're all gagging for it and won't miss a chance to suck on a random willy for charity lol I mean, come on, they can't be THAT stupid (oh wait... maybe they can) and definitely ought to give us a little more credit sometimes!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 17 May 2012, 10:37:58 pm
Quote from: secretcallgirl91 on 17 May 2012, 06:41:28 pm
i told a client i dont do anal and his response was...

"if i give you lots of oral and you cum and really enjoy it then would you consider anal?"

fcuking idiot! really...!?

I have listed a-levels on my profile, but in one of the FAQ's explained that I am only willing to offer it to 'regulars' and that plenty of notice is required. But of course, they don't bother reading it! Some enquire on the phone, which is fair enough, but had a guy turn up today expecting a 15-min quickie (the minimum I offer is 30min) with anal...  ::)

I saw a profile the other day though, it really made me chuckle, the lady had a proper rant about how much she hated anal, how pointless and painful it was etc, followed by something along the lines of "but if your penis is small, and by that I mean REALLY SMALL, I can consider doing it for an extra ?50"  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ana30 on 18 May 2012, 12:27:22 am
Quote
I've used to get "I'm an escort, your an escort, let's just hook up and have sex with each for free?"

I've been a approached with a more elaborated version, which is "I'm a male escort doing duo partners with another female escort and after X years she's decided to quit the business so I'm looking for a new business partner. How about meeting for a shag and seeing if we want to work together? I have this long list of regular clients/couples waiting for me to get a new female partner and you can make $$$$ with me!"

good luck buddy. Funny thing is that some newbies fall for this crap.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dexi Delite on 18 May 2012, 10:46:07 am
I had a guy yesterday who started to go into a lengthy story about how he has been trying to organise a trip with an escort, because his girlfriend died a year ago blah blah blah.  Not sure what the rest of the story was, as I just swiched off at that point and let him waffle on while I continued to do things on the internet.  Eventually he said he'd give me time to think about his offer and call next week. I just blocked him

Also another guy rang yesterday and it was a really bad line.  I couldn't hear him and on a few occasions said hello are you still there, to which I did hear(suprisingly)" shut up you stupid whore and let me finish".  I let him finish to a dead line.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littlepeanut on 18 May 2012, 12:03:00 pm
Adam is back!!!!!

I?ve messaged you earlier from my other account ?adam?? but cannot remember its password now

You then said that my cock is of inadequate size to pleasure any women through penetrative sex and thus won?t be such enjoyable as it cannot get into the vagina or do penetration. Since then I?ve been doing a lot of work on this and came to conclusion that your view seems too unaware and uneducated of your own self and of your own vagina, as to how actually your vagina gets pleasure :/

So just to educate you, during sex there is NO need for the cock to go inside or to touch the G-Spot as the g-spot is actually the extension of your clit. With the size of my cock I can touch the clit of the women and which is equally pleasurable by women as if I?m stimulating her g-spot. So how do I lack size if there is actually no need of size and penetration???????? Lol



Hope this suffices and educates you about your vagina and how it is pleasured, and also hope that now you do reckon that my cock is by no way any different to any other cock, but you are free to rebut whatever I?ve told you and if you still think my cock is of inadequate size and less pleasurable. Do you have any reasons to what you have said previously??????

Oh if you wish to view the pictures of my cock again, then there are couple in my profile. Regards

Adam, the biggest porn star

Jeez I'm so glad that he educated me  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 18 May 2012, 12:59:45 pm
Quote from: littlepeanut on 18 May 2012, 12:03:00 pm
Adam is back!!!!!

I?ve messaged you earlier from my other account ?adam?? but cannot remember its password now

You then said that my cock is of inadequate size to pleasure any women through penetrative sex and thus won?t be such enjoyable as it cannot get into the vagina or do penetration. Since then I?ve been doing a lot of work on this and came to conclusion that your view seems too unaware and uneducated of your own self and of your own vagina, as to how actually your vagina gets pleasure :/

So just to educate you, during sex there is NO need for the cock to go inside or to touch the G-Spot as the g-spot is actually the extension of your clit. With the size of my cock I can touch the clit of the women and which is equally pleasurable by women as if I?m stimulating her g-spot. So how do I lack size if there is actually no need of size and penetration???????? Lol



Hope this suffices and educates you about your vagina and how it is pleasured, and also hope that now you do reckon that my cock is by no way any different to any other cock, but you are free to rebut whatever I?ve told you and if you still think my cock is of inadequate size and less pleasurable. Do you have any reasons to what you have said previously??????

Oh if you wish to view the pictures of my cock again, then there are couple in my profile. Regards

Adam, the biggest porn star

Jeez I'm so glad that he educated me  :FF


Is Adam a very hairy Asian man with pubic hair longer than his cock who constantly sends emails stating he has something to ask you? I wish we could meet up. I'd love to remove his 2mm protrusion, the gross little man.  I am sick of him assaulting my eyes with his nasty pics. I have blocked him on numerous occasions only for him to send more pics. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littlepeanut on 18 May 2012, 01:21:08 pm
Yep thats the one.  Everyone must have blocked him so he's started a new profile, his new name is Asmat
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 18 May 2012, 02:45:59 pm
Quote from: littlepeanut on 18 May 2012, 01:21:08 pm
Yep thats the one.  Everyone must have blocked him so he's started a new profile, his new name is Asmat

Yes had this one this morning and as I was bored I happily explained that I know my own body better than a wanna be who has never met me and that I would not let him rub his cock babreback against any part of me.  I then blocked him to get another email from 'to-ans-dani' yes another profile telling me that as he can get a woman pregnant he can obviously make her orgasm.  He even proved he can wear a condom (although he admits they do fall off by putting a photo of his tiny cock with a condom resting on the end of it.  I give up.  this is his 9th user name and every time I block him he comes back with another one. 

The worst part is he has been to see a couple of girls most were honest but one has fed his weird thoughts by leaving feedback that his cock made her orgasm so much arghhh :FF :FF :FF  So now he is emailing everyone to tell them they are idiots and do not know their body just cos one girl lied lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ana30 on 18 May 2012, 03:25:31 pm
Quote
I then blocked him to get another email from 'to-ans-dani' yes another profile telling me that as he can get a woman pregnant he can obviously make her orgasm

All the lunatics come from AW.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 18 May 2012, 06:54:18 pm
He probably paid his wife to leave him feedback. Hes a horrible little pest. The next email he sends me I am going to threaten him with the police the weirdo. I've seen better looking worms on a muddy wet day. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 18 May 2012, 07:02:55 pm
Quote from: Jan10 on 18 May 2012, 06:54:18 pm
I've seen better looking worms on a muddy wet day. ;D

I nearly choked on my chocolate bar when I read that, what a great way to put it  ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 18 May 2012, 09:19:52 pm
I am seriously LMAO after this one!!! ;D :D ;D :D ;D


email ping-pong tonight:

jon02** "Hi I have a request, would you pose naked at your window, show me the view and hopefully see you get caught by a passer by xxx "

ME "yes I love it, I do this all the time"

jon02** "what is the risk?"

ME "I'm always naked at my windows"

jon02** "any passers by"

ME "Unlikely, I'm on 20th floor"

No reply!!! LMFAO!!!! It tickled me.... ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lala13 on 19 May 2012, 01:10:12 pm
Some idiot keeps on calling me at 2:30 AM!!!! >:(
Since then he's been called me 5 times all the up until 11:30am !!So he's called me 6 times in total!
Crazy !Then he sends me a text(in perfect English) : Hey Lala tryd clng u u ain't ansrng
Ughhhh  :FF
I'm like I KNOW ITS INTENTIONAL  !

update: just sent him the following message
Why are you calling me at 2:30 am?!! And you've called me 6 times. Please leave me alone and stop calling me. I am not interested !

Him: Fyn wateva
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sahrbear on 19 May 2012, 02:20:47 pm
just this from arabi prince on AW:


wow baby! u look stunning n i really want u, ?____ for 1 hour tomorrow outcall at wembley park in a 5* hotel just coz ur that amazing.. reply back asap x

a) the price he offered is 50 pounds LOWER than my outcall price and
b) WOW a five star hotel to fuck in?! I'LL GO FOR FREE BABE!!!

 :FF

i-d-i-o-t.

x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 19 May 2012, 03:32:33 pm
And more wallies are coming out of their dark little hiding places.

By text:
Him - are you working right now?
Me - yes, what did you want?
Him - just kissing, bj, sex and anal
Me - BJ is fine although I only do it with a condom, and i don't offer anal at all
Him - I would want anal included

Yeah, but you know what? I. DON'T. DO. IT!!!!

Told him to listen to the simple clarity of what I'd said (didn't use such big words to him though, might have confused him), and then gave him the good news that he was blocked.

I bet he would have wanted all this in a half an hour appointment too - dork.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 19 May 2012, 06:39:31 pm
Quote from: bananamuffin on 19 May 2012, 03:32:33 pm
And more wallies are coming out of their dark little hiding places.

By text:
Him - are you working right now?
Me - yes, what did you want?
Him - just kissing, bj, sex and anal
Me - BJ is fine although I only do it with a condom, and i don't offer anal at all
Him - I would want anal included

Just received delightful follow-up text many hours later:
F*** you bitch who was trying to push you to do anything, surprised you get anyone interested in you at your age!!!"

Didn't think it worth replying to tell him er, hello, you wanted to book me!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: figa98 on 19 May 2012, 09:55:00 pm
Just had request to piss in a glass then call his wife and when he hears her voice on the phone,throw the piss over his face wtf?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Naomi Rose on 19 May 2012, 10:34:32 pm
I have also had the smallest cock in the world man. I just told him I couldn't see it and he must be confused and actually be a girl ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 19 May 2012, 10:39:50 pm
Quote from: Naomi Rose on 19 May 2012, 10:34:32 pm
I have also had the smallest cock in the world man. I just told him I couldn't see it and he must be confused and actually be a girl ;D

LMFAO!!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 20 May 2012, 02:55:42 am
Quote from: bananamuffin on 19 May 2012, 06:39:31 pm

Just received delightful follow-up text many hours later:
F*** you bitch who was trying to push you to do anything, surprised you get anyone interested in you at your age!!!"

Didn't think it worth replying to tell him er, hello, you wanted to book me!!!

What a tosser! God they can be such idiots and throw their toys out the pram can't they? And then they have to get personal! TWATS! grrrr

(quote fixed)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 20 May 2012, 03:25:23 am
Quote from: Naomi Rose on 19 May 2012, 10:34:32 pm
I have also had the smallest cock in the world man. I just told him I couldn't see it and he must be confused and actually be a girl ;D

Oh you're brave! I use to have a regular who I have down in my phone as 'acorn'. But I've seen bigger acorns! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kinky By Nature on 20 May 2012, 11:55:54 am
Quote from: Coty on 20 May 2012, 03:25:23 am
Quote from: Naomi Rose on 19 May 2012, 10:34:32 pm
I have also had the smallest cock in the world man. I just told him I couldn't see it and he must be confused and actually be a girl ;D

Oh you're brave! I use to have a regular who I have down in my phone as 'acorn'. But I've seen bigger acorns! lol

That's not brave, that's just mean. Shows a total lack of sympathy and empathy (not to mention basic respect), which, as a professional is something we should have. If you can't manage that, you're in the wrong job.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 20 May 2012, 04:18:40 pm
A guy called me from the Croydon area yesterday asking which was the nearest station to travel for him to get to me
Croydon is so far away i decided to do him a favour and recommend someone local.
to which he says
 "lolya me want to see you , like youre big titties."
 to which i said , im sure you do
He said i will travel, ive got a car or i can borrow one,
 He then asks what service i offer and could i explain it to him
To which i put the phone down and listed him as joker in the phone!
O  xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Naomi Rose on 20 May 2012, 04:41:41 pm
Kinky by nature,

That was said to him via email. If you had read what the other girls had put about his long, lengthy and completely tedious emails (with pictures) you would have read my comment in the context it was written - responding to others about this man.

I am not rude, unsympathetic or lacking in respect. He has wasted my time on more than one occasion, constantly contacting me. I am incredibly professional and feel it is totally unacceptable for you to judge the comment I have made on a string of stories without the full picture.

Now who's not respectful...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kinky By Nature on 20 May 2012, 05:20:02 pm
Quote from: Naomi Rose on 20 May 2012, 04:41:41 pm
Kinky by nature,

That was said to him via email. If you had read what the other girls had put about his long, lengthy and completely tedious emails (with pictures) you would have read my comment in the context it was written - responding to others about this man.

I am not rude, unsympathetic or lacking in respect. He has wasted my time on more than one occasion, constantly contacting me. I am incredibly professional and feel it is totally unacceptable for you to judge the comment I have made on a string of stories without the full picture.

Now who's not respectful...

So this wasn't even a booking where you knew for sure of his lack of endowment? You just went by pictures that may or not have been him? Then I guess I come from a different school. Regardless of whether or not I'm aware of the full picture, I stand by my comment. Unless it's for the purpose of Domination and it was something specifically requested by them I wouldn't have dreamt of belittling a perspective client in such a way, regardless of his prior actions towards other escorts. I deal with clients on a one to one basis. That's just an excuse. Even if he had wasted my time, there would be other ways of dealing with him other than to resort to insults. Whichever way you want to put it, it's a total lack of professionalism.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: XxAnnaliseXx on 20 May 2012, 05:26:43 pm
So if it was known someone was rude, abusive, violent to other escorts, you'd ignore all of that and deal with him on a one to one basis?

We might as well get rid of the dangerous clients and timewasters board then!

There's only so many times you can be patient with someone.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 20 May 2012, 05:34:49 pm
 I think (and obviously I can't speak for other people) that KBN meant that the appropriately professional way to deal with such people is to ignore them and not rise to their bait, which is what I would have done but only because I've better things to do thanwaste my time responding to them at all.

I don't see any mention of this man being dangerous or violent, or otherwise posing any sort of threat to women anywhere, so I don't she how she or anybody else can be expected to know this about the person under discussion when they haven't been told? Being a bit of an irritating pillock doesn't make him either.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: XxAnnaliseXx on 20 May 2012, 05:42:47 pm
I thought he would have popped up on the Timewasters board. He's certainly seems well known amongst several members as evident by their reaction when he was mentioned a page or so ago.

Normally I would just block someone but if, as one of the others mentioned, they repeatedly created new profiles to keep contacting them even after being blocked, I know I'd loose my temper and say something foul out of sheer irritation and to get them to back off.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 20 May 2012, 06:02:27 pm
Well I will admit that I've only read the last few posts as I'm on my phone, but people who just send silly emails don't belong on the timewasters board as they don't risk anybody's time being wasted - if he's actually made lots of bookings with no intention of keeping them, or if the emails were threatening or abusive that's different though.

Some saddo who wants to try and get his rocks off by writing to prostitutes (and is probably looking to elicit exactly the reaction he got) isn't worthy of any of our time IMO. And I would say that insulting them (or anybody else) only makes us look bad - I've snapped myself and I'm definitely not immune either, but I don't think it does any good.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kinky By Nature on 20 May 2012, 07:29:46 pm
Quote from: Tipping The Velvet on 20 May 2012, 05:26:43 pm
So if it was known someone was rude, abusive, violent to other escorts, you'd ignore all of that and deal with him on a one to one basis?

We might as well get rid of the dangerous clients and timewasters board then!

There's only so many times you can be patient with someone.

That's the question, if. Nobody throughout has mentioned that the timewaster was either rude or violent, so that point is moot. If the person in question is from AW then you report him to them and let them take it from there. They can ban his IP address to prevent him from creating further profiles.  If he does become rude, abusive or aggressive, then you put up a warning in the timewasters part of the forum alerting other ladies so they'll know what to expect if they ever have to deal with this person.

If nothing else as Amy says he probably does get off on the abuse, which is why he sends the pics in the first place, in which case you're expending your energy for nothing but his titillation. That would piss me off because I'd be rising to his bait and I'd refuse to give him that satisfaction.

Believe me I've had enough reasons to verbally abuse timewasters myself over the years, I've dealt with enough of them to last me in this lifetime and the next.
 
Apologies to other board members for taking this off-topic. I've said my piece.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 21 May 2012, 01:53:09 am
Quote from: Kinky By Nature on 20 May 2012, 11:55:54 am
That's not brave, that's just mean. Shows a total lack of sympathy and empathy (not to mention basic respect), which, as a professional is something we should have. If you can't manage that, you're in the wrong job.
Ha Kinky.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ace on 21 May 2012, 04:11:38 pm

Quote from: Naomi Rose on 19 May 2012, 10:34:32 pm
I have also had the smallest cock in the world man. I just told him I couldn't see it and he must be confused and actually be a girl ;D


^^^^ kinda not an ok thing to say in my opinion, to anyone ever. (unless it's a consensual kink).

Being a trans male person I find that comment a bit...off, to be frank.

In other news, I got a message today from a man who seemed to be planning on flying all the way from newcastle to Berlin! shame I deleted it, he sounded so keen  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 21 May 2012, 04:24:10 pm
Quote from: Ace on 21 May 2012, 04:11:38 pm

Quote from: Naomi Rose on 19 May 2012, 10:34:32 pm
I have also had the smallest cock in the world man. I just told him I couldn't see it and he must be confused and actually be a girl ;D


^^^^ kinda not an ok thing to say in my opinion, to anyone ever. (unless it's a consensual kink).

Being a trans male person I find that comment a bit...off, to be frank.

In other news, I got a message today from a man who seemed to be planning on flying all the way from newcastle to Berlin! shame I deleted it, he sounded so keen  ::)

I agree I wouldn't say anything like that to someone regarding the size of their cock, but when they make a point of telling you everything about their penis - how large or small it is its hard not to return some negative comment which is what the op was doing I think?
Personally I hate guys going on constantly about cock size, even if its mine which they're talking about as its just so frigging tedious really, do they reckon sex and the amount of sexual enjoyment possible is all about the size of their members? Their views seem completely off the mark and if they aren't trying to repulse me they certainly succeed unwittingly!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 22 May 2012, 12:30:57 pm
"Good afternoon i hope your ok,
this is gonna seem different to most emails you get however, firstly i will say that i do understand your prices etc and fully appreicate that and they may be set prices.. but i have a offer for you...

im looking to go to ab fabs in heathrow (if you havent heard of it look it up online, its a swingers ) now as much as i wish i was loaded im not.... if i was then id pay you whatever you wanted thats for sure..

the offer is for you to come to the club with me i pay for entrance fee drinks well its take your own booze but id get us some, as well as 250 pound for yourself.. i will be stopping in a hotel so it would be up to you if you wanted to come back there after with me but thats your choice... so it would be a fun filled evening from 9 till 2am on fri 15th june
as i say i dont mean to cause offence from this email...

im a 30 year old good looking guy, slim athletic build and am able to send you some pics of me if you request not sure how we would do that but however you would like then id do it to prove im not some 67 year old minger"

Dear old AW! :)
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Spangle on 22 May 2012, 01:01:28 pm
Quote
im a 30 year old good looking guy, slim athletic build and am able to send you some pics of me if you request not sure how we would do that but however you would like then id do it to prove im not some 67 year old minger"

Hah! Why are these idiots so deluded as to believe that we'd happily accept less than a fraction of our fee because they're (apparently) young and hot, over a "67 year old minger" as he so eloquently puts it. What, a respectful older man that wouldn't dream of making such an insulting offer- heaven forbid!!

I really could not give a flying fig about what a gent looks like or how old he is so long as he's clean, respectful and pays up in full without a whimper.

Seriously..where do all these totally deluded ejits come from?
xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 22 May 2012, 01:13:42 pm
Quote from: Spangle on 22 May 2012, 01:01:28 pm
Quote
im a 30 year old good looking guy, slim athletic build and am able to send you some pics of me if you request not sure how we would do that but however you would like then id do it to prove im not some 67 year old minger"

Hah! Why are these idiots so deluded as to believe that we'd happily accept less than a fraction of our fee because they're (apparently) young and hot, over a "67 year old minger" as he so eloquently puts it. What, a respectful older man that wouldn't dream of making such an insulting offer- heaven forbid!!

I really could not give a flying fig about what a gent looks like or how old he is so long as he's clean, respectful and pays up in full without a whimper.

Seriously..where do all these totally deluded ejits come from?
xx

It was the '67yo minger' bit that really made me chuckle, like that makes him superior just because he's younger, dream on sunshine. I am tempted to reply and explain that I'd happily choose a 67yo gentleman over a cocky cretin in his thirties, any day! But I'll just block, and forget.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 22 May 2012, 01:51:46 pm

Voicemail sent in the small hours of this morning:

'Hi my name's Dave and I'm a good looking guy give us a phone whenever you get this message'

Guess he didnt read the profile as regards making a booking and assumed I was after a date...Describing himself as 'good looking' wasn't a good start and how does that even come in to making a booking?! 'I'm polite respectful, genuine and punctual' might have been more relevant.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 22 May 2012, 04:49:06 pm
The need to tell you they are goodlooking and in the same breath describe someone as a minger presumably because of his age is enough to put you off. The 67 year old minger is probably someone I'd rather see as he isn't full of himself and cocky and would more likely have the correct fee I charge not try and fix one to suit their needs. Selfish self serving twat. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 22 May 2012, 05:33:03 pm
This is my response to the young good looking, big cock guys........"You're body is just fine, but you'll have to put a big bag over that personality mate."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 22 May 2012, 05:37:38 pm

That's about right! The 'young good looking, big cock guys' they just don't seem to get how cheesey and tedious they come across.
I don't know if they watch too much porn or what but its the obsession with penis size and the need to drop it into their texts or phone calls that spoils it for them, they have such a one-dimensional view of sex!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 22 May 2012, 05:47:57 pm
I was watching Katherine Ryan on 8 out of 10 cats last night, and she said the last time she was on the show loads of people started following her on Twitter. Then she said...And guys, it's cute and all but us girls really don't like seeing pics of your cocks!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 22 May 2012, 06:22:28 pm
Men can be so sad at times... They cannot be arsed to try and think of other ways to anonymously 'impress' the ladies on the internet, can they? 

Just the other day, I signed up to a lesbian dating site. The truth be told, I'm not even sure I fancy women, but the thought of having to deal with another willy in my private life makes me feel sick. If only they knew! I'm 23 btw  ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 22 May 2012, 06:47:42 pm
When they send a picture of a cock to me i always ask, oh is that how i will recognise you walking down the street!!!!! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 22 May 2012, 06:55:18 pm
ha ha ha ha ha:-)

I won't follow anyone back on Twitter who have cock pics either....don't want to be staring at that while I'm tweeting...ewww!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 22 May 2012, 07:12:41 pm
Message just received through AW from 4fisher:


Subject: BOOKING

weightwatchers.com



Original. Not. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 22 May 2012, 07:24:43 pm
:-( Twat

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 22 May 2012, 07:33:57 pm
Quote from: Coty on 22 May 2012, 07:24:43 pm
:-( Twat

Yep. Now a BLOCKED twat.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 23 May 2012, 09:52:18 am
"subject: new career opertunity

hi there i work for a adult movie team in the united kingdom and we are looking for new talent. would you be interested in a casting with our agent? if so please email us back here with your contact details. this casting would be unpaid and filmed for us to review but if you are successful you could be earning up to ?1000 a day with us.

we look forward to hearing from you"


Yeah, I'm dying to do a charity shoot with people who can't even spell the word oppportunity... In fact I replied asking what 'the casting' involves, let's wait and see  ;)  they don't seriously expect people to fall for it and let them get a freebie, anticipating to make thousands as a result...




Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dexi Delite on 23 May 2012, 04:24:49 pm
Just had a guy, who was really professional, polite and friendly and even after the call he thanked me for taking up my time and wished me well, but the fact that he wanted me to sleep with him, his wife and their daughter just made me cringe.  Talk about things that make you go Ewwwwww.  Maybe this should be on that thread. lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverbird on 23 May 2012, 06:34:41 pm
Had text today from regular who has never been one of my fav's to say the least...
'Hi, could do with some fresh meat, d'you know of anyone?'...
My reply? ... 'No, have you tried your local butcher?' :FF :FF

Would love to hear everyone's fav 'one liner's'.
Wiley.x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 23 May 2012, 08:52:57 pm
Quote from: Dexi on 23 May 2012, 04:24:49 pm
Just had a guy, who was really professional, polite and friendly and even after the call he thanked me for taking up my time and wished me well, but the fact that he wanted me to sleep with him, his wife and their daughter just made me cringe.  Talk about things that make you go Ewwwwww.  Maybe this should be on that thread. lol

OMG...Do you think he was serious or a fantasist? Did he say how old the daughter was? URGH...horrid.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TSgirl on 23 May 2012, 08:58:39 pm
On AW email earlier:

Subject: Sex

Today whit me [sic]


 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 23 May 2012, 09:05:12 pm
Quote from: wileycoyote on 23 May 2012, 06:34:41 pm
Had text today from regular who has never been one of my fav's to say the least...
'Hi, could do with some fresh meat, d'you know of anyone?'...
My reply? ... 'No, have you tried your local butcher?' :FF :FF

Would love to hear everyone's fav 'one liner's'.
Wiley.x

OMG...what a horrible man, what a thing to text you. I hate it when punters ask me to recommend someone else. It's very rude and disrespectful. :-(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverbird on 24 May 2012, 12:11:03 am
I've had some texts and seen some sights in this job, but I'm still seething from that nasty little shit's derogatory text. If he's ever stupid enough to try and book me again, imagining all is forgiven and forgotten... Well bring it on scabby nob, I dare you! ;D ;D
W.x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 24 May 2012, 12:15:34 am
Quote from: wileycoyote on 23 May 2012, 06:34:41 pm
'Hi, could do with some fresh meat, d'you know of anyone?'...

God, that's grim. Surely it must have been deliberate and nobody could actually think it was OK to send that?

My bestest one lately has been 'hi gorgeous fancy some hot horny fun xx' (text, obviously) which isn't that remarkable in itself, but the pillock sends the same one mid week virtually every week shortly before eleven pm, and has done for ages. He always gets the same answer, which is a template basically directing him to my site, and still he sends it. I suspect he's lost track of how many of us he's sending it to.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverbird on 24 May 2012, 12:35:37 am
Ha! Yep, I get a similar ' are you hot n horny for sex' text from same number on a regular basis! Had other random texts in a similar vein, as we do!! They get boring don't they? We groan and delete as a matter of course.
Regarding the text I got today tho'... I dread to think what it would have done to my confidence/state of mind if I'd received it over the last few weeks while I've been so quiet and almost beside myself with worry about how I was going to cope financially. Business has picked up a little bit for me lately, so gave me the confidence to send that reply. It's a very fine line I'm walking lately and I'm just thankful I've come through another day, relatively unscathed.
W.x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 24 May 2012, 12:58:17 am
Just a quick follow up to my last post about the fabulous 'opertunity' from the guys who wanted a freebie. I replied asking what they meant by a 'casting', here is their explanation...

subject: Re: new career opertunity

you would be expected in the casting to perform sexual acts on camera with our agent to show the review board that you have what it takes to make it in this industry. you would not be paid for this casting but you would have a very high chance of making large amounts of money with our company. if this is acceptable we can either have our agent call into your in-call address or set up a meeting between you both in a hotel. please contact us back asap to arrange a casting.


 :FF

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 24 May 2012, 10:03:20 am
Quote from: ilovedots on 24 May 2012, 12:58:17 am
Just a quick follow up to my last post about the fabulous 'opertunity' from the guys who wanted a freebie. I replied asking what they meant by a 'casting', here is their explanation...

subject: Re: new career opertunity

you would be expected in the casting to perform sexual acts on camera with our agent to show the review board that you have what it takes to make it in this industry. you would not be paid for this casting but you would have a very high chance of making large amounts of money with our company. if this is acceptable we can either have our agent call into your in-call address or set up a meeting between you both in a hotel. please contact us back asap to arrange a casting.


 :FF

I had a similar message recently:

'Hi, you look fantastic will make time to come and see you, would you be interested in a film ? xx'  - suffice to say the heading was 'hi hun.'

Told him of course, if he'd like to bring a film along as a gift 'the girl with the dragon tattoo' would be great, thanks.

His reply: 'Daniel craig good choice, but realy I was talking of filming some pornography with you x'

Wow so you basically think I would like to give you a free shag under the guise of making porn! Wonder if he has his own equipment too...
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 24 May 2012, 12:26:23 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 22 May 2012, 12:30:57 pm
im looking to go to ab fabs in heathrow
the offer is for you to come to the club with me i pay for entrance fee drinks
Single guys hiring prozzies to access couples only swingers clubs...
Likely to piss off owners of said clubs if they are aware of this.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 24 May 2012, 03:15:32 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 24 May 2012, 12:26:23 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 22 May 2012, 12:30:57 pm
im looking to go to ab fabs in heathrow
the offer is for you to come to the club with me i pay for entrance fee drinks
Single guys hiring prozzies to access couples only swingers clubs...
Likely to piss off owners of said clubs if they are aware of this.

Unless they pick one that opened not long ago in Derbyshire! The club emailed me offering free entry with my punters if I took them there! Replied that it was of no interest to me and as a genuine swinger and attendee of clubs I would be avoiding their club for good! Sounds kind of two faced I guess (as well as OTT) but it's not something I would like to see encouraged at all  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 24 May 2012, 04:50:47 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 24 May 2012, 12:26:23 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 22 May 2012, 12:30:57 pm
im looking to go to ab fabs in heathrow
the offer is for you to come to the club with me i pay for entrance fee drinks
Single guys hiring prozzies to access couples only swingers clubs...
Likely to piss off owners of said clubs if they are aware of this.

I have a guy who's always asking to book me for couples only swinging parties. Bloody awful. No thanks mate!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Phoenix on 25 May 2012, 07:53:19 am
My response to guys who want to take me swinging is, " How would you know in advance how many men/women will make approaches on me, because you will need to pay me in advance for each one and the Club may frown on that on the premises?" I ask it completely innocently and they laugh nervously.
 Do they really think I will be on their arm to let them into a club they couldn't normally get within half a mile of- thus allowing them to have the pick of the other swingers there- and for me to indulge their husbands..for my normal hourly rate?  :FF

I can't think of anything I would LESS like to do.

 I sell it pal, it aint going for free!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Oriana on 26 May 2012, 01:22:49 pm
I need service what only sex with condom , other service without condom .

classical sex with all position and condom, 69 sex, CIM ( come in mouth ) , CIF(come in face) , Doggie (sex style from behind) , extraball ( have sex many times nightly) , anal sex , BJ ( blowjob ) , oral sex without condom, rimming ，kissing, cunnnilingus, massages, strip, auto erotic, soft s/m, role play, GFE.. Fetish, Trampling, Golden Shower (give) , Group Sex, Orgy, Lesbian Sex, Full Service, Couples, Role Playing, toys sex, Massage: URO

jadda, jadda...got to be Word Whore Championship  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 26 May 2012, 01:50:00 pm
I did have an email yesterday evening from a guy wanting all kind of scinarios with him and his mummy, he described in detail including raping and anal sex with mummy! I just blocked his user name . I do think men wanting to screw their mothers is somewhat odd. very unappealing.
Orchid
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 27 May 2012, 07:31:26 pm
Got this charming email today.....

very expensive i rather go abraod in this recession
im going have a wank instead over ur pic ... cheaper
james

Wtf does this guy actually think I'd want to see him, what a tosser - go as far abraod (his spelllng) as you like matey
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverbird on 27 May 2012, 11:29:31 pm
You should send him lot's of extra free pics Mellow... after all, he chose 'you' to masturbate over while he's 'abraod', you lucky so and so ;D
The only journey this guy's making is with his grubby fingers travelling to the opening of his greasy zip to pump his tiny, crusty nob... ;D ;D ;D
x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TSgirl on 29 May 2012, 12:42:07 am
This gem:

Quote
hi will you laugh and make fun of me for being a 23 yr old ugly muslim virgin with a tiny 4.5 inch dick whos never been kissed too. I feel pathetic and I'm really horny. I would never look at pics of a TS and never message a TS if I was not this horny. Please make me wear girls panties. Please make me feel more pathetic and horny and never let me cum again. Please keep me like this.

Aaaaand...... BLOCK
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverbird on 29 May 2012, 12:51:55 am
In this 'land of the free and home of the brave'... I could not possibly comment :FF
L.B.x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 29 May 2012, 02:21:03 am
Wasn't sure if to put this here or on the virgin thread as I'm sure he is one!

Virgin:hello there
I got a thing for older women and I always wanted to play with them, so I
was wondering are you for fun with Indian lad?
How much do you charge for oral sex?
Thanks
x
Me: All details are on my profile.

Virgin: Hey

Thanks for your reply.
Um sorry if you dont mind me asking, but I never done this before so can
you tell me how does it work?
Like If i wanna play with you then what do I do and where can i meet you
etc.
thanks x

Me: I only do out calls so would meet at your home or your hotel. You pay the money upfront for the time you want, then take it from there.
Again, everything you need to know is on the profile.


Virgin: oh ok.
Well i wanna kiss you first haha and see how it goes. If i like you more
then i pay you more.
I think i wanna do french kissing seeing as i never kissed an older woman
before. hehe

Me: You still don't seem to understand, you pay first....you don't pay extra for the more you want, the money is for the allotted time, not what you do in it. But I'll be straight with you, I wouldn't accept a booking now anyway as I'm rather bored with trying to explain, what is already on my profile. Sorry.


Was I too harsh? Just wound me up.
Not heard back!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lexi on 29 May 2012, 08:19:15 am
Not harsh at all Coty, he clearly wasn't getting the message, virgin or no virgin tbh... you had the patience to reply and both times he tried his luck! Some people do amaze me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 29 May 2012, 08:40:12 am
Coty you were direct and to the point, far more patient than i would have been. And they guy needs to get* pay as you go for brain cells* i think mensa do them !!!!
O  xx 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Grumpy Cow on 29 May 2012, 12:26:40 pm
Would agree Coty, you were patient and polite.  At some point you had to put a stop to this guy trying to engage you in what sounded like him wanting a free sexy email exchange.  You need to keep your sanity and avoid bookings that have the hallmarks of someone that is going to be really hard work.     
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: danae on 29 May 2012, 12:43:42 pm
Coty you were far more polite than I would have been! Seriously I get the thing about nerves and being new but for Christ?s sake it?s not rocket science is it???? ? I wonder if these people are capable of catching a bus or doing the weekly shop at Sainsbury?s?

I received an email from a guy called ?James? a few weeks back asking for bareback (despite it clearly saying on my profile I don?t provide this service). I?m sure this git has texted me the same question in the past too. Anyway his email went something like this...
Quote
Hi, love your profile. I would love to meet you. The thing is I find condoms a major turn off. I would love to have sex with you bareback. I would love to shoot in your pussy. I am clean ? I have to be I have a long term girlfriend! ? I?m also very good looking so I know it wouldn?t feel like work for you. Trust me I?m no timewaster, I?m 100% genuine, if you say yes, I will call and book an appointment straightaway. James

My reply...

Quote
Granted James you don?t sound like a timewaster but you do sound like an utter c*** so I?m afraid my response is no.

Followed by a block!!!! >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 29 May 2012, 03:42:09 pm
Quote from: Danae on 29 May 2012, 12:43:42 pm
Coty you were far more polite than I would have been! Seriously I get the thing about nerves and being new but for Christ?s sake it?s not rocket science is it???? ? I wonder if these people are capable of catching a bus or doing the weekly shop at Sainsbury?s?

I received an email from a guy called ?James? a few weeks back asking for bareback (despite it clearly saying on my profile I don?t provide this service). I?m sure this git has texted me the same question in the past too. Anyway his email went something like this...
Quote
Hi, love your profile. I would love to meet you. The thing is I find condoms a major turn off. I would love to have sex with you bareback. I would love to shoot in your pussy. I am clean ? I have to be I have a long term girlfriend! ? I?m also very good looking so I know it wouldn?t feel like work for you. Trust me I?m no timewaster, I?m 100% genuine, if you say yes, I will call and book an appointment straightaway. James

My reply...

Quote
Granted James you don?t sound like a timewaster but you do sound like an utter c*** so I?m afraid my response is no.

Followed by a block!!!! >:(


LOL brilliant.....all of it!
Love the bit about the Sainsburys shop too. Can just imagine them asking the staff there 20 times where an item is and how you pay for it! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 29 May 2012, 06:19:49 pm
 :FF Oh I dooooon't believe it...lol...he actually replied!

ooh I see

Right il shall contact you when I need fun :)

xx

 :FF
A picnic short of several sandwiches me thinks! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: danae on 29 May 2012, 09:59:26 pm
Quote from: Coty on 29 May 2012, 06:19:49 pm
:FF Oh I dooooon't believe it...lol...he actually replied!

ooh I see

Right il shall contact you when I need fun :)

xx

 :FF
A picnic short of several sandwiches me thinks! lol

I don?t know how you manage to attract so many! Your other posts in this thread are hilarious! Go on tell...what?s your secret?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 29 May 2012, 10:31:16 pm
What is WRONG with these people - you call them a total f**kwit, and it's water off a duck's back!!!

I need to be more like that, you know? My gran always said 'you're happy when you're mad' and I used to think it was funny. but having watched lots of x factor etc, I realised, I knew what she meant! These deluded types go thru life, unpeturbed by anything, unstressed, without anxiety.... wish I was more like that. My gran was never mad by the way. she was sane to the end of her days - but I now understand what she meant. She also said 'stop the ride, I want to get off' - well, we all know, you can't - can you! Once you're strapped into the rollercoaster, you're in for the duration.

I do in SOME ways admire these utter pillocks for the way they glide through life without ANY acknowledgement of how utterly knobbish they are lol!!! It's a feat really isn't it. Or some part of the brain is shut off where you and I would be thinking 'ooh, what did they think of that, etc' - they just don't have that. Must make life so easy.

I had one over the last weekend I was working:

Saturday daytime:
Are you working today?:
Yes, what time did you wahnt?
8pm
And for how long?
30 mins
yes, that's no problem, what did you want?
oh I want anal
I don't do anal
Well I would want anal
Sorry. I don't do anal (lesson learnt, should have just blocked right here lol!!)

3 days later from same number (when I'm showing on AW as NOT available now, no mobile showing)
Are you working today
No
Who is this?


Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Div.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 30 May 2012, 01:28:26 am
[quote author=Danae link=topic=1637.msg77159#msg77159 date=1338325166

I don?t know how you manage to attract so many! Your other posts in this thread are hilarious! Go on tell...what?s your secret?
[/quote]

It's easy....just be nice and easy going....you'll get all the twats! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: figa98 on 30 May 2012, 06:00:24 pm
I have a booking on a narrowboat on a canal wtf? he has positive feedback,but I can hardly ask for a landline can I? peeing myself thinking about climbing on a boat in my stockings ha ha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 30 May 2012, 06:25:40 pm
As ever, it's up to you as to whether you accept it, but he's going to be more widely known amongst other narrowboaters than most people are by their neighbours.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 31 May 2012, 01:43:35 am
Nothing that unusual about this one...except I just got it through now at almost 1.40am.

Yes sure I'll come out dressed like that...won't look suss at all to the Hotel management!

Subject: Are you free?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
For a cheeky wee outcall to Hilton Kensington?

Would love you to come over in black stockings and suspenders under some
nice sexy business attire with heels. Sexy secretary ;-) let me know if
you can make it and I will call you xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 31 May 2012, 08:50:18 pm
Hold me back, ladies! My passion is about to boil over!!

sort a date out lv il cum n see ya
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: danae on 31 May 2012, 08:57:17 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 31 May 2012, 08:50:18 pm
Hold me back, ladies! My passion is about to boil over!!

sort a date out lv il cum n see ya

Pmsl

The passion...

The ardour...

The hot, steamy sex...

Your very own Heathcliffe!!!!

Is that the sound of wedding bells I hear? Should I invest in a hat? :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: improbablecats on 31 May 2012, 10:50:55 pm
Borrowed from a WG friend of mine, I now say in response to "R U FREE?"

 "No, I'm rather expensive."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: blondieMK on 31 May 2012, 11:41:34 pm
Quote from: improbablecats on 31 May 2012, 10:50:55 pm
Borrowed from a WG friend of mine, I now say in response to "R U FREE?"

 "No, I'm rather expensive."
Lmfao! Well I do 2 for a fiver mate  8)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maisie on 01 June 2012, 12:55:38 pm
Hi everyone, I'm new to the forum.  Just thought I would join in the fun of this epic thread with a couple of my all-time favourite emails.

"How much love ?"  - that was it.  Just that.

"Fancy 15 minutes car fun ?" - do I look like I would ?

"Would you take 200 Silk Cut as payment for an hour?"

"I have a few Reduced Rate Cross Channel Ferry Tickets and I wondered if you would take them as payment?"

"27 at home cash ready" -  just that

There's more.  That goes without saying really.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 01 June 2012, 03:01:52 pm
Quote from: Maisie on 01 June 2012, 12:55:38 pm
"Would you take 200 Silk Cut as payment for an hour?"

"I have a few Reduced Rate Cross Channel Ferry Tickets and I wondered if you would take them as payment?"

My first ever client paid for his first (and last, as I soon realised that he was a complete and utter retard) booking in cash, and for the next 2 months called and texted almost every day, trying to convince me to accept Waterstones vouchers as a payment for an overnight. I eventually managed to get rid of him by saying : "I will take you up on your offer, slip the vouchers through my letterbox today, I'll go and get my ?800 worth of books, and I'm all yours tonight!"  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 01 June 2012, 05:03:45 pm
Oh and welcome to the forum Maisie :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyofthemansion on 01 June 2012, 07:43:32 pm
One today asking ''What is the service'' I tell him to read profile. He says his computer keeps crashing down. Dork.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 01 June 2012, 08:03:59 pm
Quote from: improbablecats on 31 May 2012, 10:50:55 pm
"No, I'm rather expensive."

Thats my line too, not borrowed though.  Cheeky runts that they are. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyofthemansion on 01 June 2012, 09:08:54 pm
Just got this text. ''Are you playing tonight?''
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 01 June 2012, 09:28:47 pm
Quote from: ladyofthemansion on 01 June 2012, 09:08:54 pm
Just got this text. ''Are you playing tonight?''

Oh I've had that one too ........................ do they think it is a game of tennis or something ?   Eejits.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 01 June 2012, 09:31:09 pm
When I switched my phone on this morning I had a text from an unknown client at 12.30am.  ''Why are you sleeping?  A boy has needs you know  :P" 

 ::) ::) ::)  He is promptly entered into my directory - 'Mr fucking Midnight' with the others.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 01 June 2012, 09:53:44 pm
Quote from: Clarabella on 01 June 2012, 09:31:09 pm
When I switched my phone on this morning I had a text from an unknown client at 12.30am.  ''Why are you sleeping?  A boy has needs you know  :P" 

 ::) ::) ::)  He is promptly entered into my directory - 'Mr fucking Midnight' with the others.
What a twat! I would have been like what do you mean why am I sleeping? That's what normal people do!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: blondieMK on 01 June 2012, 11:21:51 pm
Earlier today I had
'what can I do to you?' what the hell!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 02 June 2012, 12:59:21 am
Quote from: blondieMK on 01 June 2012, 11:21:51 pm
Earlier today I had
'what can I do to you?' what the hell!

I suppose, "leave me a load of dosh and fuck off" might not have been the answer he was looking for! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 02 June 2012, 09:15:18 am
Late last night I got many  emails from an adult work user name, * email me*
this guy calling himself  paul  kept  asking for hand relief,  and my mobile number, which i didnt give him, I ended up blocking him.
He had emailed my other escort friend asking where i was and could i do prostrate massage, bit different to hand relief !  ::)
Orchid
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 02 June 2012, 10:49:01 am
Haha here we go :) This morning's first gem:
------------------------------------------------
Subject: Booking???

Hi,

I have tried to arrange things with you over the phone a few times without luck (because I blacklisted you, idiot ;D) so thought I would send you an email in the hopes that I might convince you to bend your rules and make loads of exceptions for me...
----------------------------------------------------

I have been trying to think of a word that would sum him up, but English isn't my first language, so help me ladies... Is 'relentless' descriptive enough?

LMFAO  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsummer on 02 June 2012, 05:12:36 pm
Just got this enticing message on AW:

'Hi sexy we meet Overnight out what day free to get together with me do let me know xxx'

He also sent me another message with his phone number, don't think he understands the concept of making a booking, you contact the escort, NOT the other way around  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 02 June 2012, 05:27:54 pm
I keep getting texts (sometimes on a daily basis) from a guy I saved as TW(bigcock) because his original text said something along the lines of how he could get me to squirt with his big cock.  Why do guys always think big=best?

Latest text from him Get your lovely ass, tits and tight pussy to my hotel babe a s a p

Little does he know he is blocked.

I am sometimes tempted to say 'No I'll just send my tits!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lexi on 02 June 2012, 06:08:32 pm
Adrianna I think I got the same texts from the same guy, it's worded literally exactly the same as that! He sent at least 3 texts saying the same thing and an email too... No thanks haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsummer on 02 June 2012, 06:31:52 pm
And there was I thinking I was the chosen one! :-* He reeks of timewaster and have a few notes on AW confirming it too, do the guys who send messages like that, not even capable of stringing a sentence together think they'll get girls to meet them..?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sara1980 on 03 June 2012, 12:35:39 am
A/W, early afternoon.......


Newly joined member, aka my dream man  - '1 after the other, 15 mins tonight?'
Me - 'Sorry?'
Newly joined member, aka my dream man  - 'me and my mate want to have sex tonight one after another'

 :FF  :FF

Needless to say, they're both still here......... Lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 03 June 2012, 03:07:11 am
Quote from: Mellow on 02 June 2012, 05:27:54 pm
I keep getting texts (sometimes on a daily basis) from a guy I saved as TW(bigcock) because his original text said something along the lines of how he could get me to squirt with his big cock.  Why do guys always think big=best?

Latest text from him Get your lovely ass, tits and tight pussy to my hotel babe a s a p

Little does he know he is blocked.

I am sometimes tempted to say 'No I'll just send my tits!"


LMAO
Ohhh you should!!! But then I suppose it's better just to ignore tw@s like him!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 03 June 2012, 08:20:53 am
Why, on AW, is there no option in your 'Dislikes' section for:

- Timewasters
- Fantasists
- Disrespectful, rude youngsters

?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 03 June 2012, 11:27:30 am
Quote from: bananamuffin on 03 June 2012, 08:20:53 am
Why, on AW, is there no option in your 'Dislikes' section for:

- Timewasters
- Fantasists
- Disrespectful, rude youngsters

?

I would also add all those men who make a booking and turn up but have trouble understanding the word NO.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 03 June 2012, 11:56:24 am
Quote from: bananamuffin on 03 June 2012, 08:20:53 am
Why, on AW, is there no option in your 'Dislikes' section for:

- Timewasters
- Fantasists
- Disrespectful, rude youngsters

?

Where's the 'Dislikes' section? I only ask because they added a Doesn't Enjoy thing last week and then took it off again as soon as they realised that just bunging anything in you hadn't ticked on the Will Tolerate For Money Enjoys list wouldn't work. Is there something we can actually add things to now?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: danae on 03 June 2012, 11:58:17 am
No but it wouldn't make a difference anyway, it won't be read! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 03 June 2012, 11:59:35 am
You know I don't know - I was sure I'd seen Dislikes somewhere but haven't looked to see if it's still around as of now - maybe it's not there any more.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: danae on 03 June 2012, 12:01:45 pm
There isn?t a separate section for it. When you do a search for a member you can tick what services they enjoy and dislike. The latter will only pick up what the SP has not put in the enjoys list.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 03 June 2012, 01:44:34 pm
I had a client today, who called me up and asked how many guys I'd slept with. I asked why, and he said he preferred to see girls who'd been with 10 guys or less? Hello, I'm an escort.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 03 June 2012, 02:21:18 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 03 June 2012, 01:44:34 pm
I had a client today, who called me up and asked how many guys I'd slept with. I asked why, and he said he preferred to see girls who'd been with 10 guys or less? Hello, I'm an escort.  :FF

They never cease to amaze us, do they! ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 03 June 2012, 03:23:07 pm
Hand up who else got this today!
Yes of course he's at Loughborough uni studying physiotherapy! With an AW name of Footman89.
God they make me so angry, do they think we're so bloody stupid?
I know I shouldn't reply but I couldn't help myself!


hey i go to loughborough uni and am studying physiotherapy. i need volunteers to try reflexology (basically a foot massage) and would like to offer this to you for free? i really need the feedback which would help me a lot.

please do let me know if it is something that would appeal for you?

hope to hear from you soon

thanks! :-) x
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 03 June 2012, 03:34:12 pm
Coty, you're not alone, I had that one too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 03 June 2012, 03:37:00 pm
Did you reply...I was rather mean! Then deleted and blocked quickly before he could reply! lol Coward!
Amongst other things like not wasting my time and treating me like an idiot, I said if he ever became a physiotherapist to remind me not to see him, as a professional having a wank while on duty turns my stomach!

oops...I'm not in a very good mood today! TW's beware!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 03 June 2012, 03:39:53 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 03 June 2012, 01:44:34 pm
I had a client today, who called me up and asked how many guys I'd slept with. I asked why, and he said he preferred to see girls who'd been with 10 guys or less? Hello, I'm an escort.  :FF

Unbelieveable!!!!!!!!!  I'd slept with more than that many before even becoming an escort!!! I seriously wonder about some of these punters mentalstate naivity!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 03 June 2012, 04:18:20 pm
Quote from: Coty on 03 June 2012, 03:37:00 pm
Did you reply...I was rather mean! Then deleted and blocked quickly before he could reply! lol Coward!
Amongst other things like not wasting my time and treating me like an idiot, I said if he ever became a physiotherapist to remind me not to see him, as a professional having a wank while on duty turns my stomach!

oops...I'm not in a very good mood today! TW's beware!

Unfortunately with AW when we block them they do not know for the emails they send just go to the great email ethos in the sky and look as though they are unread.  There is no indication that they are blocked as in hotmail when the email will bounce back to you.  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: danae on 03 June 2012, 04:23:55 pm
They can tell they?ve been blocked because the email is shown as deleted and unread at exactly the same time they send it. Granted some might think we are lightening quick at reading and deleting emails but someone with a brain would pick up it?s because they?re on the blocked list. It doesn?t deter people, they just get another AW account up and running.
Not sure what the case is when you block bookings from someone ? wonder of AW send them any notifications of this?
Back to topic, Jubilee weekend it bringing out the village idiots!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 03 June 2012, 04:26:46 pm

[/quote]

Unfortunately with AW when we block them they do not know for the emails they send just go to the great email ethos in the sky and look as though they are unread.  There is no indication that they are blocked as in hotmail when the email will bounce back to you.  >:(
[/quote]

Oh well...no doubt he's gotten it all off his chest by now and his words are floating about in cyber space! LOL
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 03 June 2012, 05:09:37 pm
Quote from: Coty on 03 June 2012, 03:37:00 pm
Did you reply...I was rather mean! Then deleted and blocked quickly before he could reply! lol Coward!
Amongst other things like not wasting my time and treating me like an idiot, I said if he ever became a physiotherapist to remind me not to see him, as a professional having a wank while on duty turns my stomach!

oops...I'm not in a very good mood today! TW's beware!

I replied : 'GET LOST!', and blocked him, my standard procedure these days...  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 03 June 2012, 05:16:10 pm
Ha ha...like it, straight to the point!
I don't usually reply and just delete/block, but I'm in a terrible mood today and that just wound me up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 03 June 2012, 06:02:02 pm
On a couple of *special* occasions, when they kept coming back with new profiles after getting blocked, I directed them to this, followed by another block:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3LNL6wKhXA&feature=related  WARNING: gets very loud halfway through ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 03 June 2012, 06:14:59 pm
Ha ha ha:-) Brilliant!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 03 June 2012, 06:33:35 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 03 June 2012, 01:44:34 pm
I had a client today, who called me up and asked how many guys I'd slept with. I asked why, and he said he preferred to see girls who'd been with 10 guys or less? Hello, I'm an escort.  :FF

I have only SLEPT with about 5 guys, but had sex with 100's!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 03 June 2012, 06:55:32 pm
I had a TW today.

But, I'm learning, and never even left the house - I phoned him at the pre-arranged time and got voicemail (this was my last call before I made my journey). Gave him 5 mins to respond or the booking would be cancelled. He didn't call so I stocked my belly up on lots of bacon, scrambled egg and tomato instead. (I'm very pleased that I learnt to do my final check before leaving the house - whoop whoop!!).

Anyway, I got onto the email and just prior to blocking him for eternity, sent the following:

Name: HIS NAME
Category: Timewaster
Action: Permanently blocked.

Impudent little pup!

I shall regard with even higher levels of suspicion than all 'normal' enquiries, those that come in in the later hours of the evening, especially from young men who (when they are p*ssed, stoned or high) and think that seeing an escort would be great fun, but haven't the nuts to see it through.

Know I should have just blocked him but hey ho!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 04 June 2012, 05:15:47 pm
Phone conversation 5min ago

PhoneWanker: Hi, I got your number from my mate

Me: Ok...(contemplating putting the phone down ;D)

PW: And he said you have cute little feet

Me: I guess...

PW: Do you have any pictures?

Me: Yes, on my page. Perhaps your friend could kindly tell you the details.

PW: That will take ages, can you just send me some pictures man?!

Me: I don't think so (laughing)

PW: How old are you anyway?

Me: Bye! (puts the phone down)

Schoolboys are out in the force today  :FF

Three no-shows so far, a few dubious bookings for later.

I've been painting my nails all day, making origami butterflies and trying to maintain my ZEN state of mind   :D
 

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sahrbear on 04 June 2012, 05:43:35 pm
he: So babe, tell me what you do. I mean when we meet.
me: Ummm...it's pretty self-explanotory I think.
he: riiiight. So what time are you free today?
me: I'm not free today actually, sorry.
he: So what time later?
me: Like I said...I'm not free today, at al.
he: Until what time?

. :FF

Or another one who text-booked. I don't take sms bookings!

He asked me for a discount because it's a "public holiday" so he's already blocked and then messages "meet you in an hour?"
me: "no sorry"
three hours later: "meet you in an hour".

I didn't reply and got "???" back. s-t-u-p-i-d.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: danae on 04 June 2012, 06:00:50 pm
Listen to this:

I got a call earlier on today from a very young sounding ?innit gangster type? asking if he could see me at 3pm. I asked him how old he was and he said 24 (hmmmmmmmm!!!), I said no sorry. He obviously picked up that age was an issue and tried to convince me he was older. I wasn?t convinced and didn?t like the sound of him anyway so I politely declined and said it would be better if he found someone else. Then blocked his number.

30 minutes later I get an online booking from a guy with no feedback (no biggie). Call him, he sounds ok so agree to meet at 5pm.
At 5pm I go downstairs to open the door and would you believe it, standing there, is this a scrawny teenager resembling a Twiglet crisp with the typical rudeboy jeans hanging off his butt. One of my arms has more meat on it than his scrawny little arse!  :-X

As soon as he opened his mouth I knew it was the teeny bopper from earlier on. I would say he was barely 18. He obviously got his mate to do the online booking using a different mobile number! So I ask him ?have we spoken before?? The idiot gleefully admits to the conversation in the morning and says ?see, I look older!?

I refused point blank to see him and told him why. Not only is the age thing a big put off (something he was warned about) but I can?t believe anybody would behave so desperately!

As his parting shot, he said I was a TW!!! Just advised him if he had accepted my polite ?fuck off? earlier on he could have saved himself a train journey and I wouldn?t have had to go to the effort of shaving my armpits!!

GRRRRR!!!!!!  :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 04 June 2012, 06:04:46 pm
Quote from: London honey on 04 June 2012, 05:43:35 pm
He asked me for a discount because it's a "public holiday" so he's already blocked and then messages "meet you in an hour?"


Do guys not get paid double or treble time for public holidays - tell them you want public holiday pay too - thats what I do when they ask me why I won't work Saturdays and Sundays.  Soon shuts them up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 04 June 2012, 08:14:19 pm
Subject: webcam shows

Hey hun, you are so gorgeous...stunning.
I got a proposition for you...

Basically would you be interested in some live fucking cam shows? There is alot of potential money wise and it be alot of fun. I can provide the space - you take all the profit ... I would basically be your cock to fuck on cam..
If your not interested then no problem. If you want to know more and want some pics then get back to me.

j

 :FF
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emily Bolton on 04 June 2012, 08:24:02 pm
my first message on AW, sent within a couple of hours of joining

"hi emily im (someone who doesnt read profiles) and i live in (somewhere quite near) and i was just wondering how much you charger for the massage and handrelief,hope to hear from you soon.

(someone who doesnt read profiles) x"

please tell me it gets better! x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 05 June 2012, 02:14:37 am
Quote from: Emily Bolton on 04 June 2012, 08:24:02 pm
my first message on AW, sent within a couple of hours of joining

"hi emily im (someone who doesnt read profiles) and i live in (somewhere quite near) and i was just wondering how much you charger for the massage and handrelief,hope to hear from you soon.

(someone who doesnt read profiles) x"

please tell me it gets better! x


Sorry that's quite mild for a new profile...it will get worse...much worse!  :-[
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emily Bolton on 05 June 2012, 02:38:18 am
Quote from: Coty on 05 June 2012, 02:14:37 am
Quote from: Emily Bolton on 04 June 2012, 08:24:02 pm
my first message on AW, sent within a couple of hours of joining

"hi emily im (someone who doesnt read profiles) and i live in (somewhere quite near) and i was just wondering how much you charger for the massage and handrelief,hope to hear from you soon.

(someone who doesnt read profiles) x"

please tell me it gets better! x


Sorry that's quite mild for a new profile...it will get worse...much worse!  :-[

well before i started doing this i read this whole thread, post by post, it took over a week! so hopefully ill have some good answers/know when to block when it does x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 05 June 2012, 02:37:47 pm
How could I resist this one such exquisite grammar and spelling ::)  And he'd hidden his feedback......

hi there babes allow me to introduce myself hun I am the w*** bandit here on aw and I am contacting you in regards to doing sum shared content unpaid with me sweetie for I would luv to preform in an adult movie with u with covered face protecting ur identity of corse well that is if u wuld prefer to do so lol! for I wuld really luv to preform in sum adult filming explicit content materials wiv such an beautyfull & elegent ladie such as yourself hun!& heres the full story on how shared content works!! afterwards wen our session is complete we will then split our materials that we produced together meaning videos/pics etc & we will both have copy each of the movies & pics for us to both upload to our profiles nd start making sum serious cash of them by allowing viewers & other aw members to view our content materials for money!!! & thats where most of the big cash starts rolling in for it's worked for me in the past! so once again if you would be interested or is even considering participating with me in sum shared contents then please feel free for anymore info to respond back to this email or you can simply just call or text me bk on my line 07********** ok? so hear you soon then baby Thank You & bye for now.

With Regards
The W*** Bandit
xxxxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 05 June 2012, 02:48:19 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 05 June 2012, 02:37:47 pm
How could I resist this one such exquisite grammar and spelling ::)  And he'd hidden his feedback......

hi there babes allow me to introduce myself hun I am the w*** bandit here on aw and I am contacting you in regards to doing sum shared content unpaid with me sweetie for I would luv to preform in an adult movie with u with covered face protecting ur identity of corse well that is if u wuld prefer to do so lol! for I wuld really luv to preform in sum adult filming explicit content materials wiv such an beautyfull & elegent ladie such as yourself hun!& heres the full story on how shared content works!! afterwards wen our session is complete we will then split our materials that we produced together meaning videos/pics etc & we will both have copy each of the movies & pics for us to both upload to our profiles nd start making sum serious cash of them by allowing viewers & other aw members to view our content materials for money!!! & thats where most of the big cash starts rolling in for it's worked for me in the past! so once again if you would be interested or is even considering participating with me in sum shared contents then please feel free for anymore info to respond back to this email or you can simply just call or text me bk on my line 07********** ok? so hear you soon then baby Thank You & bye for now.

With Regards
The W*** Bandit
xxxxx

Incredible. Really. This man is a dumb fuck complete genius. When I read it I thought I was reading Shakespeare. Bandit sure has a way with words...

 ;D
xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emily Bolton on 05 June 2012, 03:41:44 pm
"Hi ok for chat on phone"

at 7am, on a bank holiday. when my chat says "offline", what do you think? x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 05 June 2012, 08:02:43 pm
Quote from: London honey on 04 June 2012, 05:43:35 pm
he: So babe, tell me what you do. I mean when we meet.
me: Ummm...it's pretty self-explanotory I think.
he: riiiight. So what time are you free today?
me: I'm not free today actually, sorry.
he: So what time later?
me: Like I said...I'm not free today, at al.
he: Until what time?


I think this is one of my favourites ever ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lala13 on 06 June 2012, 12:17:23 am
Oh god ! I know I'm 18 and a newbie and all that but REALLY?!  ::) :o

Quote
dear sir
We enjoyed your piks and think you would be invited to black on black productions, We are a adult entertainment and was wondering if you would like to come for a adution to see if you qualify.


Are some girls actually foolish enough to fall for this ?!!  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emily Bolton on 06 June 2012, 01:41:30 am
Quote from: lala13 on 06 June 2012, 12:17:23 am
Oh god ! I know I'm 18 and a newbie and all that but REALLY?!  ::) :o

Quote
dear sir
We enjoyed your piks and think you would be invited to black on black productions, We are a adult entertainment and was wondering if you would like to come for a adution to see if you qualify.


Are some girls actually foolish enough to fall for this ?!!  ???

probably! x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 06 June 2012, 10:17:49 am
Quote from: casey_kisses on 05 June 2012, 02:48:19 pm
Quote from: Mellow on 05 June 2012, 02:37:47 pm
How could I resist this one such exquisite grammar and spelling ::)  And he'd hidden his feedback......

hi there babes allow me to introduce myself hun I am the w*** bandit here on aw and I am contacting you in regards to doing sum shared content unpaid with me sweetie for I would luv to preform in an adult movie with u with covered face protecting ur identity of corse well that is if u wuld prefer to do so lol! for I wuld really luv to preform in sum adult filming explicit content materials wiv such an beautyfull & elegent ladie such as yourself hun!& heres the full story on how shared content works!! afterwards wen our session is complete we will then split our materials that we produced together meaning videos/pics etc & we will both have copy each of the movies & pics for us to both upload to our profiles nd start making sum serious cash of them by allowing viewers & other aw members to view our content materials for money!!! & thats where most of the big cash starts rolling in for it's worked for me in the past! so once again if you would be interested or is even considering participating with me in sum shared contents then please feel free for anymore info to respond back to this email or you can simply just call or text me bk on my line 07********** ok? so hear you soon then baby Thank You & bye for now.

With Regards
The W*** Bandit
xxxxx

Incredible. Really. This man is a dumb fuck complete genius. When I read it I thought I was reading Shakespeare. Bandit sure has a way with words...

 ;D
xx

Had that one too :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 06 June 2012, 11:13:26 am
So, a guy called me up this morning, and frankly, he was bloody rude.

Client: I want to book you, but are you really the girl in the picture? I have purchased your private gallery and know exactly what to expect, so if it isn't you then I am going to be really angry. Alot of girls think it's ok to waste my time, but it's not. I will be expecting oral without and french kissing, but not at discrection. This is what I am paying for.

Ummm? This guy really got my back up  :-\ :-\ I can't believe the cheek of it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 06 June 2012, 02:26:09 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 06 June 2012, 11:13:26 am
So, a guy called me up this morning, and frankly, he was bloody rude.

Client: I want to book you, but are you really the girl in the picture? I have purchased your private gallery and know exactly what to expect, so if it isn't you then I am going to be really angry. Alot of girls think it's ok to waste my time, but it's not. I will be expecting oral without and french kissing, but not at discrection. This is what I am paying for.

Ummm? This guy really got my back up  :-\ :-\ I can't believe the cheek of it!

Sounds like the sort of attitude you get on punter forums!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lala13 on 07 June 2012, 12:55:02 pm
Quote from: Emily Bolton on 06 June 2012, 01:41:30 am
Quote from: lala13 on 06 June 2012, 12:17:23 am
Oh god ! I know I'm 18 and a newbie and all that but REALLY?!  ::) :o

Quote
dear sir
We enjoyed your piks and think you would be invited to black on black productions, We are a adult entertainment and was wondering if you would like to come for a adution to see if you qualify.


Are some girls actually foolish enough to fall for this ?!!  ???

probably! x


Wow. That's quite worrying !!
Anyways I was kind enough to give him a nice little response.

Quote
Riiiiiight.....

First of all ,we don't say "a adult entertainment" but AN adult entertainment COMPANY. PLUS you mis-spelt the word 'pictures'(you said piks) and the word audition (you said adution)and in english we say AN audition.


Funny, I've never seen a professional adult entertainment company that sees escorts and makes bookings with them.


I may be young but I'm not a fool. Thank you but no thank you. [/i]

 So THERE ;D 8)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TSgirl on 07 June 2012, 04:40:50 pm
Had some fun with this one from AW...

Quote
Hi im looking for a regular 2 hr once a week booking with your fee of ?1200 being paid the 4TH visit of each month cash im looking for one person for this too happen with..

My reply...

Quote
Hi, my fee is 250 for two hours outcall, so that would be a grand paid weekly at the beginning of each visit. lol

His reply...

Quote
lol i said every 4th visit XX

My reply...

Quote
lol like I'm going to shag you three times for free and hope you pay on the 4th

To which he replied...

Quote
im inviting you too my family home i share with my psrtner and children and swear on my kids lives you will get your fee on the 4th visit every month xx

Aaaaand block  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsummer on 07 June 2012, 11:32:19 pm
Had a very short conversation with a fantasist recently;

Fantasist: Hi. I want to come see you, and I want to bring my best friends mother with me.
Me: Ehm, no.
F: No?
Me: No.

Needless to say I hung up :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lala13 on 08 June 2012, 12:02:51 am
Quote from: TSgirl on 07 June 2012, 04:40:50 pm
Had some fun with this one from AW...

Quote
Hi im looking for a regular 2 hr once a week booking with your fee of ?1200 being paid the 4TH visit of each month cash im looking for one person for this too happen with..

My reply...

Quote
Hi, my fee is 250 for two hours outcall, so that would be a grand paid weekly at the beginning of each visit. lol

His reply...

Quote
lol i said every 4th visit XX

My reply...

Quote
lol like I'm going to shag you three times for free and hope you pay on the 4th

To which he replied...

Quote
im inviting you too my family home i share with my psrtner and children and swear on my kids lives you will get your fee on the 4th visit every month xx

Aaaaand block  ::)


This one cheered me up SOOOO much after my crappy day  ;D
Thank you :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emily Bolton on 08 June 2012, 04:34:50 am
"I will be in Bolton tomorrow and Saturday.

I have seen you have nice pictures on AW, but I was wondering if you would like to have new ones.

I am an Italian pro photographer who would like to photograph you free of charge in exchange of some relaxing time with you. Or if you would prefer to pay for my service, that would be ?300 for a four hours session.

Please have a look at my work by following the link below. Also have a look at my profile on AW: ******

Also let me know if you have a female friend who need some pro pictures taken.


http://www.modelmayhem.com/portfolio/*******/viewall

http://purpleport.com/portfolio/*******


Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Ciao
***"

ive looked on his profiles. he has no feedback on his AW profile and he advertises himself as a straight male escort too.... x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 08 June 2012, 07:24:52 am
Had this caller yesterday, Hi i loved all your pictures on aw and checked youre profile.
do you do dogging"?
To which i replied " No and it states on my profile i dont do dogging"
He then says "do you do car meets?"
I just put the phone down on him!
Why not ask an escort for what she dosnt do and waste her time !!!!!!
Orchid x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 08 June 2012, 01:31:13 pm
An email I received...
Client: Hi I was just looking at your profile and would like to make a booking. Thing is I would have to have your full address and post code as I have never done this before and I am only twenty six.

Only twenty six? He is happy to visit an escort but is only twenty six ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 08 June 2012, 02:23:46 pm
Quote from: Jan10 on 08 June 2012, 01:31:13 pm
An email I received...
Client: Hi I was just looking at your profile and would like to make a booking. Thing is I would have to have your full address and post code as I have never done this before and I am only twenty six.

Only twenty six? He is happy to visit an escort but is only twenty six ::)

I hate it when "young studs" seem to think we deal with geriatric clientele most of the time, assume they're doing us a favour and expect special treatment  >:( 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 08 June 2012, 02:43:58 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 08 June 2012, 02:23:46 pm
Quote from: Jan10 on 08 June 2012, 01:31:13 pm
An email I received...
Client: Hi I was just looking at your profile and would like to make a booking. Thing is I would have to have your full address and post code as I have never done this before and I am only twenty six.

Only twenty six? He is happy to visit an escort but is only twenty six ::)

I hate it when "young studs" seem to think we deal with geriatric clientele most of the time, assume they're doing us a favour and expect special treatment  >:(


lol. The only special treatment he would get is me not seeing him with him being only twenty six loike. :o. I sent him an email saying if he considers himself only twenty six then I won't be seeing him. There are escorts that are only eighteen and know how to look after themselves most of the time so if he is only twenty six I won't be seeing him because he won't be able to bring mummy with him.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 09 June 2012, 08:11:30 pm
Today's Most Idiotic Text Message Award winner:

'Do you do army discounts?'

 :o

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 09 June 2012, 08:18:19 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 09 June 2012, 08:11:30 pm
Today's Most Idiotic Text Message Award winner:

'Do you do army discounts?'

 :o

Some ladies do have a discount rate for HM Forces - me for starters. As ever though it's something that is to be decided on and offered by the person providing it, not asked for or suggested by the punter so yeah,  I'd file that one under Pillock :D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 09 June 2012, 08:28:44 pm
My eejit of the day award goes to :

If you're about next week and a bit bored get in touch. I'll keep you company and keep you occupied. On the house of course:)  


 :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 09 June 2012, 08:31:50 pm
I didn't realise that Amy. Well, perhaps if he has received a discount before... that could justify his question (to some extent).

Sadly, Alice (my working persona) finds herself shaking with rage whenever the matter of discounts is being brought up ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 09 June 2012, 08:46:09 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 09 June 2012, 08:31:50 pm
I didn't realise that Amy. Well, perhaps if he has received a discount before... that could justify his question (to some extent).

Sadly, Alice (my working persona) finds herself shaking with rage whenever the matter of discounts is being brought up ;D

And I don't blame her. The matter of discounts is not one that should ever be brought up by anybody other than herself, and most certainly not in a rude anonymous text message from somebody who lacks even the bollocks to ring up and ask for one so she can explain this to him in no uncertain terms, and preferably in words of one syllable.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 09 June 2012, 08:48:56 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 09 June 2012, 08:28:44 pm
My eejit of the day award goes to :

If you're about next week and a bit bored get in touch. I'll keep you company and keep you occupied. On the house of course:)  


 :FF :FF :FF :FF

Hahahahaha. Ask him how long his ladders are, because your house is massive :D. Oh, and that'll be double charge to include the roof cleaning afterwards.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 09 June 2012, 08:51:42 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 09 June 2012, 08:28:44 pm
My eejit of the day award goes to :

If you're about next week and a bit bored get in touch. I'll keep you company and keep you occupied. On the house of course:)  


 :FF :FF :FF :FF

Yours definitely wins  :D

I just logged in to my AW profile, read a few e-mails, and ended up thinking about a particular episode of 'South Park':

From Wikipedia: 'A large spacecraft suddenly crashes through the studio roof. The nomination committee for the annual "Biggest Douche in the Universe" award, made up of several different aliens, comes to take Edward to the award ceremony. Once taken there, Edward wins the prize despite throughout the entire episode yelling "I am not a douche!" ? beating out a variety of aliens including one that is literally a giant douche.'  :D
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 09 June 2012, 10:03:42 pm
TW(bigcock) strikes again:

I want you moaning loud as your pussy muscles strangle my cock as your throbbing pussing cums xx

Strangely he broke with tradition last week to phone rather than text and left a voicemail asking me to call him back.  Seeing as all his texts have been along the lines of the above I was not remotely tempted.

Just in case you didn't realise he has a big cock

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Brown Eyed Girl on 09 June 2012, 10:06:00 pm
Big cock but alas small brain. Bless!  :D

Quote from: Mellow on 09 June 2012, 10:03:42 pm
TW(bigcock) strikes again:

I want you moaning loud as your pussy muscles strangle my cock as your throbbing pussing cums xx

Strangely he broke with tradition last week to phone rather than text and left a voicemail asking me to call him back.  Seeing as all his texts have been along the lines of the above I was not remotely tempted.

Just in case you didn't realise he has a big cock

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luvmylips on 09 June 2012, 11:36:46 pm
Quote from: Emily Bolton on 08 June 2012, 04:34:50 am
"I will be in Bolton tomorrow and Saturday.

I have seen you have nice pictures on AW, but I was wondering if you would like to have new ones.

I am an Italian pro photographer who would like to photograph you free of charge in exchange of some relaxing time with you. Or if you would prefer to pay for my service, that would be ?300 for a four hours session.

Please have a look at my work by following the link below. Also have a look at my profile on AW: ******

Also let me know if you have a female friend who need some pro pictures taken.


http://www.modelmayhem.com/portfolio/*******/viewall

http://purpleport.com/portfolio/*******


Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Ciao
***"

ive looked on his profiles. he has no feedback on his AW profile and he advertises himself as a straight male escort too.... x

He has sent this message to every one of my escort friends - silly stupid idiot! He's even sent pics of himself naked with a camera flash in front of his face!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 10 June 2012, 09:46:20 am
Caller:I am thinking of booking you, I am sat here looking at your pics with my hard cock in my hand what do you suggest I do?
Me: I suggest you FK OFF!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimmy on 10 June 2012, 05:08:16 pm
I wouldnt normally post stupid messages from clients but this one really blew my mind and definately took the biscuit, his poor wife!  ;D  :o



I am looking for a beautiful young girl like yourself make fun and laugh about my marrige and force me to be unfaithfull to her.

I would like it very much if you made me bring pictures of her to you as you laugh about them and tell me how she is nothing compared to you and you have beaten her by making me do this.

You could call her names and even make me do this in our marital bed ?

Youth and beauty should come first ?

Prove how much better you are by making me do this and giggle about how you could ruin her families life if you wished to do so.

I have been with my wife for nearly 45 years and would love it if you would tell me how much more powerful and better you are than her.


She wont know anything that goes on, but you can grin in the fact youve made me unfaithful and maybe leave marks on me to show how you overpowered me into it.

You could find it amusing to mark my neck and put love bites there so she sees them and feels even more inferior ? This could make me visit each week.

Obviously just some silly fantasy but god I felt well sorry for her reading that lmao! Do you think this guy is being serious or not?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 10 June 2012, 05:13:00 pm
Quote from: Kimmy on 10 June 2012, 05:08:16 pm
I wouldnt normally post stupid messages from clients but this one really blew my mind and definately took the biscuit, his poor wife!  ;D  :o



I am looking for a beautiful young girl like yourself make fun and laugh about my marrige and force me to be unfaithfull to her.

I would like it very much if you made me bring pictures of her to you as you laugh about them and tell me how she is nothing compared to you and you have beaten her by making me do this.

You could call her names and even make me do this in our marital bed ?

Youth and beauty should come first ?

Prove how much better you are by making me do this and giggle about how you could ruin her families life if you wished to do so.

I have been with my wife for nearly 45 years and would love it if you would tell me how much more powerful and better you are than her.


She wont know anything that goes on, but you can grin in the fact youve made me unfaithful and maybe leave marks on me to show how you overpowered me into it.

You could find it amusing to mark my neck and put love bites there so she sees them and feels even more inferior ? This could make me visit each week.

Obviously just some silly fantasy but god I felt well sorry for her reading that lmao! Do you think this guy is being serious or not?

This sounds rather familiar. Think that I have had this message before... and I know other ladies on here have received similar.

Just a fantasist. No point analysing it though, there are so many wrong things with someone like that. He's just another crazy person.

xx

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 10 June 2012, 05:35:13 pm
He actually sounds like the kind of guy no one would want to marry !! Pathetic !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 10 June 2012, 08:01:28 pm
And as for leaving love bites on his neck. I could think of something more painful than a love bite. Dreamer ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 10 June 2012, 08:35:36 pm
Quote from: Kimmy on 10 June 2012, 05:08:16 pm
I wouldnt normally post stupid messages from clients but this one really blew my mind and definately took the biscuit, his poor wife!  ;D  :o



I am looking for a beautiful young girl like yourself make fun and laugh about my marrige and force me to be unfaithfull to her.

I would like it very much if you made me bring pictures of her to you as you laugh about them and tell me how she is nothing compared to you and you have beaten her by making me do this.

You could call her names and even make me do this in our marital bed ?

Youth and beauty should come first ?

Prove how much better you are by making me do this and giggle about how you could ruin her families life if you wished to do so.

I have been with my wife for nearly 45 years and would love it if you would tell me how much more powerful and better you are than her. She wont know anything that goes on, but you can grin in the fact youve made me unfaithful and maybe leave marks on me to show how you overpowered me into it.

You could find it amusing to mark my neck and put love bites there so she sees them and feels even more inferior ? This could make me visit each week.

Obviously just some silly fantasy but god I felt well sorry for her reading that lmao! Do you think this guy is being serious or not?

I've had this one too - he's full of ****.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lili69 on 12 June 2012, 10:18:41 pm
TW's must have a central script they all use.  Do they buy them off Amazon or something?  ha ha

TW:  I've never done this before, how does it work?
Me thinks:  You pay me, I fuck you
TW:  So do you come to me?
Me says:  Well, you filled out a booking request with your address, so yes, I would come to you.
TW:  How do I pay you?
Me says:  In cash.
TW:  What don't you like?
Me thinks:  I knew this line was coming...
Me says:  You've read my profile so you can see what I like.  If there is something that you like that isn't on my list then you will need to look for a girl who has it on her list.
TW:  erm, I might just have another read...
Me thinks:  Yes you do that cos I now don't want to see you!
Me says:  Yes, have a think about it and look around the site a bit more...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 13 June 2012, 12:26:32 am
Lili. I got an email saying same thing but i just deleted probably same time waster !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lili69 on 13 June 2012, 02:00:44 pm
Thanks to all the great advice on this wonderful site my TW antennae are now finely tuned, its nice not to be taken in by them and have your time wasted.  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 14 June 2012, 05:53:40 pm
Quote from: orchidperfume on 08 June 2012, 07:24:52 am
He then says "do you do car meets?"
I just put the phone down on him!
Why not ask an escort for what she dosnt do and waste her time !!!!!!
I think you were a bit mean.
After all you advertise you are an escort,
so it's reasonable for him to assume you are a Ford Escort.
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/39/Ford_Escort_RS2000_MkI.jpg/260px-Ford_Escort_RS2000_MkI.jpg)
Out of interest, are you a Mk1, Mk2 or an RS turbo?  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 14 June 2012, 08:25:19 pm
Got this one direct to my email (therefore NOT from AW)

I AM MARK P*** FROM UK,YOU CAN REACH ME ON
(+44702*********) I WILL NEED YOU
ON MY VACATION TOUR TO AFRICA ON THE 26TH OF JUNE AND I WILL BE THERE
FOR 8DAYS, I WILL NEED YOU TO ESCORT ME TO AFRICA IN NIGERIA.I JUST
CHECK YOUR ADS OUT AND FOUND YOU SO COOL AND DECIDED PICK YOU .PLEASE
MAIL ME BACK IF YOU WANT TO GO WITH ME. I AM READY TO OFFER YOU A GOOD
SUM. HOPE 2,000 POUNDS PER DAY FOR ONE WEEK (8DAYS) IS OK. AND AN
UPFRONT WILL BE PAID TO YOU EVEN BEFORE YOU LEAVE YOUR STATE.ALL
NECESSARY DOCUMENT WILL BE ARRANGED BY ME SO FEEL FREE TO GET BACK TO
ME ASAP. LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING BACK FROM YOU. PLEASE GET BACK TO ME
ONLY IF YOU ARE WILLING TO GO WITH ME . PLEASE DO GET BACK TO ME ASAP
BECAUSE OF OTHER THINGS AT HAND BECAUSE AM ALWAYS BUSY.LOL HERE IS MY
MAIL markp******@gmail.com JUST MAIL ME BACK OKAY?

Yeh I'm so packing my bags, especially since I get an upfront paid to me even before I go............ ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 15 June 2012, 04:00:30 pm
Hello Alice,

You look divine; I'd love to meet you. A little about me, I have been told that I am a cross between Pierce Brosnan and George Peppard, (shame the latter is dead). 6ft tall trim and quite muscular. I'm on holiday right now so, also tanned.


the rest of the message is perfectly polite and normal, but the above paragraph just made me giggle so much  ;D Bless him!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 15 June 2012, 04:38:49 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 15 June 2012, 04:00:30 pm
Hello Alice,

You look divine; I'd love to meet you. A little about me, I have been told that I am a cross between Pierce Brosnan and George Peppard, (shame the latter is dead). 6ft tall trim and quite muscular. I'm on holiday right now so, also tanned.


the rest of the message is perfectly polite and normal, but the above paragraph just made me giggle so much  ;D Bless him!

The question really is does he mean a young George Peppard or an old one? Because the older he got the less attractive he became! (contrary to the belief that most men get more good looking as they age)

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 15 June 2012, 04:58:19 pm
Yes indeed, some men age distinguished, others don't.

There's a whole lot more nostril hair and ear hair as well. Yeuch.

This has made me laugh cos I know of the name George Peppard but can't really think who he is (must Google him in a minute) and am hoping it means I'm too young to remember him (which would be a first in a very long time lol!!!0.

Just googled - yes, I recall him now. Breakfast at Tiffany's - he was good looking in that but looks like he may have taken to the booze later in life (a route I am currently following!!) after a very stressful week.

As to the message this guy sent - ahhh, bless! He sounds ok really doesn't he!!  God, if half of him is Pierce Brosnan I'd be ever so happy myself - yum. Good dry sense of humour always goes down well with me!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 15 June 2012, 11:18:29 pm
An occasional client. {He has tried this before}
i will have to pay tomorrow but i will give you my watch in the meantime
hey trust me i promise
Me: I'm a porn hooker, not a pawn Broker.   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 16 June 2012, 12:28:21 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 15 June 2012, 11:18:29 pm
An occasional client.
{He has tried this shit before}

            Tosser: i will have to pay tomorrow but i will give you my watch in the meantime
            Tosser: hey trust me i promise
Annoyed Jodie: In the words of George Bush: "Not on my watch "
                         I'm a porn hooker
                         Not a pawn Broker.   ;D


Edit  I'm not really annoyed. I'm lying in my waterbed, watching a movie on youtube Monster (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8G9SWGJ9tg&feature=fvwrel) True story about a serial killer prozzie, who killed clients.
While listening to Mr Jodie (on the phone) witter on about his accountant not correctly applying capitol depletion to the fleet of 4x4's.  I think he's saying he's paid too much tax.  God I'm trying to concentrate on serial killings.
(Poetic licence on that bit as she hasn't killed the first person yet)
  Jodie, you are one crazy chick haha.  Love it!  :-*

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 16 June 2012, 12:32:15 pm
Jeez, had this little charmer the other day.  Made my stomach turn.


"hello

i require a live in babysitter to work in our home in london, woking

i can pay upto 500 a month. accomodation, meals, internet etc will be free

need an open minded female who can be secretly intimate with me too. i am 32 yrs old and live with a wife and kids

if interested, drop me a line. we can chat either on phone or skype whichever you prefer

thanks"

What a total F.R.E.A.K  >:(  Pisses me off when clients bring children into their sordid little fantasies.  Wanted to give him a piece of my mind and tell him what I thought of him.  But sigh... what would that achieve. 

Hope you are all having a productive week! xx
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 16 June 2012, 01:01:08 pm
I don't think that they are - I read this as 'need a cheap live-in mistress, must double as au pair..'

So yes, complete shit, but not necessarily wanting sex with the kids.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Brown Eyed Girl on 16 June 2012, 01:21:39 pm
He?s been sending that email for months, I?ve had it several times, shocking he can?t find anyone to take him up on such an amazing offer!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 16 June 2012, 02:31:58 pm
Quote from: xw5 on 16 June 2012, 01:01:08 pm
I don't think that they are - I read this as 'need a cheap live-in mistress, must double as au pair..'

So yes, complete shit, but not necessarily wanting sex with the kids.

No, I didn't mean involvement with the children in that sense.  I was referring to the knob having no regard for the children etc.  Definitely a weirdo in any case.  On par with the homosexual men that keep emailing me with requests to send them all my used condoms for cash  :-X  Apparently, the guy and his partner reeeeeally find it a turn-on to play with them.  Lol, anyone else had that one yet?!  I hate to be judgemental but.. GAG..!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PoshTotty on 16 June 2012, 02:55:46 pm
Hello. I?m new to this forum but have been an escort for many years, but this year has been the worst for timewasters and idiots, mainly via email, so I?m glad I found this thread! Here are a few of my recent gems...

After a client asked if he could watch me masturbate during a booking he said, ?Did you masturbate this evening by any chance??
Ignore. (But what I would like to say in return ?None of your damn business?).


After a man asked how often I orgasm with clients (which I managed to deflect somewhat) he replied with, ?I expect you're off to fuck your boyfriend now and you get plenty of orgasms with him anyway so you don't need them at work?.
Ignore. (But what I would like to say in return ?None of your damn business?). Plus I never mentioned my BF.


And this email:
Him: Hi PT. Would you be happy having sex in my car on your discreet driveway? [Wanker]
Me: Hello [wanker]. Thanks for your email, but I?m afraid I don?t offer that, sorry. PT.
Him: Prefer on the bonnet then do ya? Lol
Him (20 minutes later): You wouldn't do it on the bonnet then?
Ignore.


And another:
Him: Hi PT. Do you ever get on skype, webcam or anything like that?
Me: [blah] no [blah]
Him: Hi. Ok. I thought seeing you're on webcam in the evenings you'd let me talk to you on it.
As I?m not on webcam I don?t know how he could possibly have seen me. Ignore.


"I've seen you posting on punternet a few times, do you mind if I ask which guys from punternet you've fucked? Or mind if I have a guess?"
(eh?! Why?)


"I'd like to book an appointment with you but I do have one concern that I'm unsure about. If your boyfriend is so good in bed your not going to enjoy it with me or other guys are you?"
(I have never mentioned my sex god BF!)


Him: Hi PT. Your very loud when you orgasm When did you last orgasm like that at work? [wanker]
Me: ignore


Another:
Him: PT, I'd love to run a finger inbetween your pussy lips feeling how wet you are. Just teasing your pussy and feeling your wetness :)
Me: (feeling rather dry in the pussy department) ignore
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PoshTotty on 16 June 2012, 03:21:28 pm
Quote from: Coty on 12 May 2012, 05:00:27 pm
I had the opposite last night....mind you at least he had the decency to ask.

"Can I send to a pic of my cock?"

Hmmm, no you're alright thanks......BLOCK!

It's great when they ask that. I always feel like replying "Oh yes please, I'm not sure what a penis looks like" ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 16 June 2012, 04:43:39 pm
Quote from: PoshTotty on 16 June 2012, 03:21:28 pm
Quote from: Coty on 12 May 2012, 05:00:27 pm
I had the opposite last night....mind you at least he had the decency to ask.

"Can I send to a pic of my cock?"

Hmmm, no you're alright thanks......BLOCK!

It's great when they ask that. I always feel like replying "Oh yes please, I'm not sure what a penis looks like" ::)

LOL

That's actually the first time anyone ever asked me! They usually just send them...URGH...hate it. Also won't follow anyone on twitter with a dick pic....just don't want to be looking at it thanks!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 16 June 2012, 07:30:59 pm
Quote from: Coty on 16 June 2012, 04:43:39 pm
Quote from: PoshTotty on 16 June 2012, 03:21:28 pm
Quote from: Coty on 12 May 2012, 05:00:27 pm
I had the opposite last night....mind you at least he had the decency to ask.

"Can I send to a pic of my cock?"

Hmmm, no you're alright thanks......BLOCK!

It's great when they ask that. I always feel like replying "Oh yes please, I'm not sure what a penis looks like" ::)

LOL

That's actually the first time anyone ever asked me! They usually just send them...URGH...hate it. Also won't follow anyone on twitter with a dick pic....just don't want to be looking at it thanks!

Me neither! I've said it before, in all my years of sucking cock (both working and private life) there's only a couple of cocks I've met that's been so attractive that I would consider worthy of worshipping (or - at least - admiring for a few seconds).

Had one potential slave last night, initial contact wanted to know how to become my slave, so I gave him my email addy so I can 'develop' him. As promised, he sent initial email, but with a huge pic of his sore-looking pink cock attached. This was very much NOT asked for, neither had he paid for the priviledge of sending it to me, so I emailed "goodbye" and dumped email.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CassieM on 16 June 2012, 07:50:09 pm
"want it for ?40".

Keep wanting, pal. Not getting.

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 16 June 2012, 09:02:53 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 16 June 2012, 07:30:59 pm
Me neither! I've said it before, in all my years of sucking cock (both working and private life) there's only a couple of cocks I've met that's been so attractive that I would consider worthy of worshipping (or - at least - admiring for a few seconds).

Had one potential slave last night, initial contact wanted to know how to become my slave, so I gave him my email addy so I can 'develop' him. As promised, he sent initial email, but with a huge pic of his sore-looking pink cock attached. This was very much NOT asked for, neither had he paid for the priviledge of sending it to me, so I emailed "goodbye" and dumped email.

 ;D  Oh I love it when you're all stern and masterful Mistress!
LOL
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 16 June 2012, 09:34:09 pm
Quote from: Coty on 16 June 2012, 09:02:53 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 16 June 2012, 07:30:59 pm
Me neither! I've said it before, in all my years of sucking cock (both working and private life) there's only a couple of cocks I've met that's been so attractive that I would consider worthy of worshipping (or - at least - admiring for a few seconds).

Had one potential slave last night, initial contact wanted to know how to become my slave, so I gave him my email addy so I can 'develop' him. As promised, he sent initial email, but with a huge pic of his sore-looking pink cock attached. This was very much NOT asked for, neither had he paid for the priviledge of sending it to me, so I emailed "goodbye" and dumped email.

 ;D  Oh I love it when you're all stern and masterful Mistress!
LOL

HAHAHAHAAA! ;D ;D ;D On your knees, obedient sub  8)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissKimmyDouglas on 16 June 2012, 10:34:03 pm
Yesterday I had not one but TWO hagglers... who got to find out that haggling with Miss D = cancelled appointment. And one guy who wanted me to be submissive, after messaging me specifically. Clearly the man had READ my profile, but not comprehended.  :FF
Other past winners...
Fellow who wanted me to travel to bumfuck nowhere, Scottish Highlands for a 30-minute appointment; a dude who kept trying to scam pix out of me (no, cheapskate, you have to pay up like everyone else); a confused person claiming to be an American tourist who appeared to have zero grasp of English and wanted me to do an overnight in England for ?1000.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 16 June 2012, 10:41:22 pm
OOh lucky you Kimmy I'm sooooooooo jealous!

Well today thus far I've had:

One guy wanting to use implements to spank me with despite the fact I'm clear on my profile I only do light spanking, no BDSM.
Oh he says I was disappointed by a girl before who said she offered spanking and me thinking I bet you were, cos I bet you didnt read her profile either!

One guy asking if 'I really squirted' (gets on my ffing wick I'm not a machine, read my profile and feedback dullwit!) makes an appointment then FAILS TO SHOW.

One guy asking if I'd be happy to see two guys.........well does it say so on my profile ...NO NO NO!

And don't even get me started on the cam guys................
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissKimmyDouglas on 16 June 2012, 10:47:40 pm
Oh, and I almost forgot about the guy (years ago) who sent me a message saying: 'I know you do this professionally, but I'm broke and can't afford your rates, so could you spank me for free since you enjoy it?'.  (Now, I have swapped for things... I gave a guy a CBT session in exchange for him steam-cleaning my rugs and scrubbing the kitchen, but that's different to free). Also the person who went (and I paraphrase) 'I think you're hot, would you like to go out for coffee and maybe we could date?'...um, dude...you're on UKMistress, not OK Cupid. (Also, just because I'm a domme/escort does not mean I'm single).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 17 June 2012, 05:28:27 pm
Quote from: Coty on 12 May 2012, 05:00:27 pm
"Can I send to a pic of my cock?"
Hmmm, no you're alright thanks......BLOCK!

Quote from: PoshTotty on 16 June 2012, 03:21:28 pm
It's great when they ask that. I always feel like replying "Oh yes please, I'm not sure what a penis looks like" ::)

I would send a variation of one of my text templates:


*I stole this line from Friday (http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=1637.msg39085;topicseen#msg39085)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 17 June 2012, 07:36:52 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 17 June 2012, 05:28:27 pm

I would send a variation of one of my text templates:
  • Don't send me a picture of your penis, you penis.*


*I stole this line from Friday (http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=1637.msg39085;topicseen#msg39085)

Fantastic  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 17 June 2012, 07:56:54 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 17 June 2012, 07:36:52 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 17 June 2012, 05:28:27 pm

I would send a variation of one of my text templates:
  • Don't send me a picture of your penis, you penis.*


*I stole this line from Friday (http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=1637.msg39085;topicseen#msg39085)

Fantastic  :D

Love it Im stealing this too  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 18 June 2012, 10:42:44 am
Hi Goddess

Just came across ur site and u look stunning. I was wondering if u could fullfil my long term fantasy.

I would like u to perform watersports into a glass. You then ring my wife and ask for a randon name and if wife picks up phone u pour gods gift over my face and into my mouth.

If you want to be mean and daring, thats even better. You can perform watersports directly into my mouth and over face whist on the phone...

Please let me know soon...

Hope to see u babes

I dont even do watersports !!!! one for  taking the piss!
Orchid
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 18 June 2012, 10:54:08 am
I had this one today entitled 'oral for ladies':

Number X, flat X, X road, my town
30 pound half an hour
Come let me suck lick and nibble on your clit
Open everyday from 11am till 1am
Simple knock the door or phone 0XXXXXXXXX

Don't all rush at once asking me for the number, ok?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 18 June 2012, 12:09:37 pm
Had a phonecall earlier on this morning, the guy made a booking for 12.30, I sent my partial address.

Shortly after, I receive a text:

idiot: do you have a ballet outfit u could wear with no knickers on xx

me: Unfortunately not, I'm sorry.

idiot: I'm a fit 29 year old babe, would you consider owo xxx I can send a pic if u want xx

me: I think I am going to cancel. Take care.

idiot: lol ok xxx

 :FF ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BaudelaireGirl on 18 June 2012, 12:57:25 pm
Quote from: bananamuffin on 18 June 2012, 10:54:08 am
I had this one today entitled 'oral for ladies':

Number X, flat X, X road, my town
30 pound half an hour
Come let me suck lick and nibble on your clit
Open everyday from 11am till 1am
Simple knock the door or phone 0XXXXXXXXX

Don't all rush at once asking me for the number, ok?  ::)

Why do they always use the word "nibble"?! It makes me cross my legs and squirm just thinking about it. Does any woman what teeth involved in that area?! Ick ick ick...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PoshTotty on 18 June 2012, 02:26:38 pm
Quote from: BaudelaireGirl on 18 June 2012, 12:57:25 pm
...Why do they always use the word "nibble"?! It makes me cross my legs and squirm just thinking about it. Does any woman what teeth involved in that area?! Ick ick ick...
Not me, I don't want to feel teeth there! :o I had a client sick my pussy so hard it hurt and that was bad enough. And I don't understand why the odd one or two think it's OK to grab at my flesh like I'm one of those stress balls. I just plain hurts!  >:(

Had this little gem today which I promptly ignored and deleted (I honestly think that ignoring the idiots is the best way to get back at them as they probably relish the attention if you reply)...

"hi PT
just a quick question before deciding to book. what are the chances of me being better in bed than your bf? i mean if i you were to tell me i was better that would be awesome. how many times did u have sex with your bf at the weekend and if i booked for 3 hours on wednesday would it be possible for me to have sex with you more than your bf did this weekend?
Wanker"
And he needs this information why!?  ::) None of your business, tosser  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 19 June 2012, 12:20:59 am
An interesting series of calls over a couple of minutes....

Mr 9? inches: (withheld number, mumbling voice, possibly wanking): I've seen your ad and..
Me: (Abruptly interrupting) Please phone me back from a non withheld number (I hang up).
Mr 9? inches: (withheld number, mumbling voice, possibly wanking): I've seen your ad and..
Me: (Abruptly interrupting) Please phone me back from a non withheld number (I hang up).
Mr 9? inches: (withheld number, mumbling voice, possibly wanking): I don't think I know how to remove the num....
Me: (Abruptly interrupting) Please phone me back from a non withheld number (I hang up).
Mr 9? inches: (Who has learned to operate the phone functions within a few seconds) Displayed number, mumbling voice, obviously having a wank: I'm interested in seeing you but I need to know what positions you can do and if there are any positions that you can't do.
Me: What on earth are you mumbling on about? For gods sake man, speak clearly and be specific.
Mr 9? inches: Well you would need to be able to perform in certain positions to accommodate me because I have a 9? inch cock...
Me: (Interrupting again) Ah, I thought so.  {I hang up}

Me: Selects my phones Call Blocker app... 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverbird on 19 June 2012, 01:23:08 am
Tell him to go metric Jodie... that would be 241.3 millimetre's... Sounds 'so' much bigger and sure to make you gasp and beg for it.. ;D ;D ;D
xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: naughtyjas on 20 June 2012, 09:31:45 pm
I had this charming e-mail in my AW inbox.

Quote
Start ur wkend off with a Bang!!
can I cum and suck ur pussy for free young lady?x warm u up

Yep just what I need before I start work, a sore pussy.

I replied with

Quote
Try match.com. There might be someone who'll let you do it for free without even taking them on a date, but I doubt it.

You can always ask your wife.

Me? I'd rather stay in bed. I charge for people touching me seeing as I am an escort and the definition of an escort is someone who is paid for sexual services.

Don't worry ladies, you won't miss out as he seems to be the straying type  :'( and is e-mailing everyone he can.  It's just a matter of time before he can come and help you get your pussy ready for work. :D  What a considerate young man.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BaudelaireGirl on 20 June 2012, 11:31:56 pm
Ah, the joy of the man who calls, barks "Available now?" without so much as a hello. *ignore list*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 21 June 2012, 02:44:28 am
Quote from: BaudelaireGirl on 20 June 2012, 11:31:56 pm
Ah, the joy of the man who calls, barks "Available now?" without so much as a hello. *ignore list*
I despise this :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 22 June 2012, 09:12:13 pm
Rrrr, guy I saw for 2 x 30 mins until I realised cocaine was a feature of every appointment (I did make this clear on appt 2 hence he only stayed for the 30 as he could 'only stay longer if he could do coke' (knob). For certain reasons I do NOT want to be around or even associated loosely with that sh*t:

him: is the recreational drugs ban still on
me: yes

2 days later:
him: are you available for a 30 min appt
me: did I not make it clear what my views were
him: who is this


God give me strength.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 23 June 2012, 05:23:18 pm
A brief totally normal enquiry first thing this morning.
A few hours later a subsequent text from the same number:

-Im gonna fuck u hard this week babe x

Why are you sending such a dreadful text to my 8 yr old daughter's phone?

-Sorry wrong number meant to be 318 on end do appologise

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: improbablecats on 23 June 2012, 06:38:51 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 23 June 2012, 05:23:18 pm
A brief totally normal enquiry first thing this morning.
A few hours later a subsequent text from the same number:

Him: Im gonna fuck u hard this week babe x
Bad Jodie: Why are you sending such a dreadful text to my disabled nieces phone?
She's only 9 years old!*
Him: Him: Sorry wrong number meant to be 318 on end do appologise
Bad Jodie: HA!  Got you.
Yes it will be a delight to get royally shagged  by you.
Phone me when you're ready to book me. :-)
Jodie. xx
www.---.com
Him: Lol i actually felt really bad then well played ,see you in the week ,town centre yeah x
Bad Jodie: I'm a very bad person!
Smiles
See you soon.
Jodie. xx
www.---.com


*Now saved as a template to frak with their heads!

Jodie, you're a bad, bad girl. :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 24 June 2012, 07:36:35 am
Voicemail received at 12.12 am:

Hello love I'm looking for a prostitute in the London area, call me back if you are available

Nothing much wrong with that you may cry, except I am in Scotland
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 24 June 2012, 09:10:17 am
Text last night.

"You free? Pick you up and drop you off after. no probs."


How could I resist!.....I managed somehow!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lili69 on 24 June 2012, 10:25:22 am
A great AW booking greeted me this morning when I woke up.  It was for 7am this morning and the booking was made at 6.49am - 11 minutes notice!  And for a clearly fake address - a hotel that does not exist and a postcode that was completely incorrect for the town!  hmmmmmm I don't think I'll be rushing to jump in the shower for this one!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 25 June 2012, 01:52:33 pm
Chris: My darling  ur  mag ad   IM  Chris  young  60  FIRST  TIMER  I  WOULD  LOVE  U  TO  SIT  ON  MY  CHEST  UR  STEM  IN  MY  MOUTH  MY  HEAD  SQUEEZED  BETWEEN  UR  THIGHS  IM  IN  LONDON  XXXX

- OK call me then.

Chris: DARLING  IM  VERY  old  fashioned  TEXT  OR  MOBILE  PHONE  WOULD  U PLEASE  CUM  TO  LONDON  ALL  EXPENSES  PAID   U HAVE  A  LOVELY  BODY  SEDUCE  ME  SIT  ON  ME   MAKE  LOVE  TO  ME  SWEETHEART  XXXX

- Sounds good. You must now phone me, straight away.
My hotel rates are: ?--- one hour ?--- two hours ?--- three hours ?--- overnight
When you are looking to book an engagement please phone me to arrange.
Speak soon.

Chris: MY  DARLIMG  PLEASE  YOUR  RATES  IF  I  VISITED  YOU  THANK  YOU  XX

-My incall rates are: ?--- one hour ?--- two hours ?--- three hours, overnight n/a.
When you are looking to book an engagement please phone me to arrange.

Chris: thank  u   u  have  a  LOVELY  BODY   I  WOULD  LOVE  A  FIRST  TIME  EXPERIENE   WITH  U  I  HAVE  NEVER  SUCKED  A  PENUS  BEFORE  AND  I  WOULD  LOVE  U  TO  SIT  ON  MY  CHEST  AND  ON  MY  FACE   MY  BIG  PROBLEM  IS  MONEY   CHRIS  XX   PS COULD  U   SEND  ME  PHOTO  NAKED  SQUATTING   FACING  CAMERA   SO  I  CAN  PICTURE  U  SAT  ON  ME  ALL  MY LOVE   XXXX

- Your earlier text said: PLEASE  CUM  TO  LONDON  ALL  EXPENSES  PAID. If you have no money why are you bothering me? Are you like this with other Escorts? Should I list you as a time waster and BLOCK YOUR NUMBER?

Chris Why  im  a  timewaster

- Because you made an enquiry, received my rates,,then you reply
QUOTE :PLEASE  CUM  TO  LONDON  ALL  EXPENSES  PAID
Subsequently you request pornographic pictures of me and at the same time say:
MY BIG PROBLEM IS MONEY.
Are you looking to book me? If so phone me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 25 June 2012, 02:19:04 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 25 June 2012, 01:52:33 pm
Are you looking to book me? If so phone me.
If not,  then by your non action, you will be a time waster of the highest order
second in pure evilness, only to the Moors Murderers, Pol Pot and the Great Plague of London.
Over to you.

I wish I had the ability to repel their advances with such wit and humour! ;D Instead of constantly telling them to "GET LOST!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimmy on 25 June 2012, 09:37:10 pm
Quote from: BaudelaireGirl on 18 June 2012, 12:57:25 pm
Quote from: bananamuffin on 18 June 2012, 10:54:08 am
I had this one today entitled 'oral for ladies':

Number X, flat X, X road, my town
30 pound half an hour
Come let me suck lick and nibble on your clit
Open everyday from 11am till 1am
Simple knock the door or phone 0XXXXXXXXX

Don't all rush at once asking me for the number, ok?  ::)

Why do they always use the word "nibble"?! It makes me cross my legs and squirm just thinking about it. Does any woman what teeth involved in that area?! Ick ick ick...

I think they think we genuinely like it, god knows why. The amount of clients I get that rip my pussy lips apart where my clit is and proceed to torture it harshly with their tongue....*shudders*

I always have to squirm and move so their tongue is positioned lower down, yet they still move back up!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady c on 25 June 2012, 10:03:33 pm
disgusting email today
client requests can you do 10 minute deep throat for 10 pound though it will only take 3 mins when you have me in your mouth.... yuk deleted and blocked ha where do they come from..

Had a client a few weeks ago foreign, english was okish half hour app. pointed to me down there you clean  down there you want washy for me, you wash, i replied i am very clean had a bath for you ha he was so funny with his accent.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 26 June 2012, 12:15:33 am
Quote from: ladychannel on 25 June 2012, 10:03:33 pm
Had a client a few weeks ago foreign, english was okish half hour app. pointed to me down there you clean  down there you want washy for me, you wash, i replied i am very clean had a bath for you ha he was so funny with his accent.

A couple of years ago a client turned up on my doorstep, sour face, no 'hello' or anything, walked in, explained that his "English not very good". I just thought 'whatever, I can live with that'. Anyway, we were on the bed, naked, and he did exactly the same thing as your guy, Ladychannel. Pointed to my ladyparts and said "you clean?", I tried to keep my cool and explain politely... but before I knew it, he was attempting to give me a bit of a clean with a wet wipe. I was outraged! He acted really shitty and the rest of the story is not worth sharing, but suffice it to say that he received what I call "Royal treatment", reserved only for the most annoying men ... ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ana30 on 26 June 2012, 01:15:47 am
Sorry I need to post this cause it's really funny. Some guy calls me last week:

him- Hi, I'm a high profile football player and I want a sensual massage.
me- No prob. Just call me when you get to X corner and I'll give you my address.
him- I'm sorry but I'm very concerned about my privacy cause ...I'm... famous, ya know?

(like I give a shit dude. Do you think I'm going to call the paps on you or something??? I hate football and the only player I know is david Beckham so  I'm not going to have a clue who you are)

me- Don't worry, my place is extremely discreet, your privacy is assured. You're totally safe here.
him- Are you sure I can trust you?
me- Absolutely.

Guy arrives  and lies on my massage table. He has the skinniest legs I've ever seen in my life with not one gram of muscle  (i used to do sports massage before so I know very well how professional football players legs look like).

me- Errr.... You don't have football players legs, ya know? (call me bitch).

Guy looks at me in utter horror. He's busted. His fantasy broken in pieces.

him- Ok...But... I can run very fast!!!

(god give me strength)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissDeeVonTease on 26 June 2012, 10:55:13 am
Hi,

Would you consider bareback sex at your discretion, I am clean and I have had the snip

Thanks Paul xx

i send a massive rant back to him and he replied

WOW

I will take that as a no, but I relay like your reply

Paul xx

what the HELL is wrong with guys like this??  :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissDeeVonTease on 26 June 2012, 11:09:30 am
he gets better...

'I can not see anyway on your profile where it says that you do not do bareback

and I know it is not in your likes, that is why I asked' ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 26 June 2012, 11:23:52 am
Quote from: bananamuffin on 22 June 2012, 09:12:13 pm
Rrrr, guy I saw for 2 x 30 mins until I realised cocaine was a feature of every appointment (I did make this clear on appt 2 hence he only stayed for the 30 as he could 'only stay longer if he could do coke' (knob). For certain reasons I do NOT want to be around or even associated loosely with that sh*t:

him: is the recreational drugs ban still on
me: yes

2 days later:
him: are you available for a 30 min appt
me: did I not make it clear what my views were
him: who is this


God give me strength.


This is yet another example of clients making assumptions about escorts and taking the piss. Would this thick retard go into his first day at a new job and assume it was okay to take drugs on the premises? So why the hell do they think that all escorts are happy to let them do that? Some of them really are the dregs of society.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 26 June 2012, 08:06:42 pm
I was asked if I would give a client my special offer rate (just for mornings) on a friday afternoon, I said no - that is why it is a morning offer, he said "that's a shame as it would be worth some really good feedback"  bloody arse!!!! beggers belief
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 27 June 2012, 11:29:57 am
Text 'booking':

Moron: Can you do an outcall at 9.30 tonight at XXXX Services?
Me: Yes I could do that. Are you at the Travelodge, and how long did you want?
Moron: No, parked up in my lorry, nice big bed. 2 hrs.
Me: Er, no thanks
Moron: Your loss

(Does it say on my profile that I do car meets, never mind lorry meets...!! No, course it doesn't)

You can just see the headlines the next day - 'ageing prostitute found dead in motorway layby in the north of england.....'


Oh, he's now just texted again - 'Why don't you book a room, you might get other work'.

He must a lorry-based consultant to the WGs of the west midlands......

Aaaaand block!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 27 June 2012, 01:01:38 pm
Quote from: bananamuffin on 27 June 2012, 11:29:57 am

He must a lorry-based consultant to the WGs of the west midlands......



LMFAO!!! There was a lady who used to post here the "advice" she'd been given by clients/potential clients, I'll have to find the thread for you :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimmy on 27 June 2012, 02:02:12 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 26 June 2012, 12:15:33 am
Quote from: ladychannel on 25 June 2012, 10:03:33 pm
Had a client a few weeks ago foreign, english was okish half hour app. pointed to me down there you clean  down there you want washy for me, you wash, i replied i am very clean had a bath for you ha he was so funny with his accent.

A couple of years ago a client turned up on my doorstep, sour face, no 'hello' or anything, walked in, explained that his "English not very good". I just thought 'whatever, I can live with that'. Anyway, we were on the bed, naked, and he did exactly the same thing as your guy, Ladychannel. Pointed to my ladyparts and said "you clean?", I tried to keep my cool and explain politely... but before I knew it, he was attempting to give me a bit of a clean with a wet wipe. I was outraged! He acted really shitty and the rest of the story is not worth sharing, but suffice it to say that he received what I call "Royal treatment", reserved only for the most annoying men ... ;D

I ask clients that do this (you clean!!!?) to leave (they are always poor english speakers for some reason ???), havnt got time for that rubbish
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 27 June 2012, 02:13:05 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 27 June 2012, 01:01:38 pm
Quote from: bananamuffin on 27 June 2012, 11:29:57 am

He must a lorry-based consultant to the WGs of the west midlands......



LMFAO!!! There was a lady who used to post here the "advice" she'd been given by clients/potential clients, I'll have to find the thread for you :D

Now I've had re-think, and I could be looking at this the wrong way, too negatively you know? No, what this is is a business opportunity. From now on, I am re-marketing myself as:

"The Trucker Fucker"

Now if I find anyone stealing this awesome USP, there will be trouble, k?!!!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 27 June 2012, 03:43:19 pm
I havent posted in ages but I had to sure this one!!!!!


Hi ,you are super cute! my name is Alfie, I am also an escort that uses this website now but that's not why I am contacting you. When I tell women what I do they find it hard to cope, Ive decided that I'll try dating someone with the same "experiences" as myself. Your cutey and I love your style, you should come say hi ;)

also as for "I am also an escort that uses this website" he joined the day before  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 27 June 2012, 06:18:28 pm
Quote from: Friday on 27 June 2012, 03:43:19 pm
I havent posted in ages but I had to sure this one!!!!!


Hi ,you are super cute! my name is Alfie, I am also an escort that uses this website now but that's not why I am contacting you. When I tell women what I do they find it hard to cope, Ive decided that I'll try dating someone with the same "experiences" as myself. Your cutey and I love your style, you should come say hi ;)

also as for "I am also an escort that uses this website" he joined the day before  ::)

Cr?me de la cr?me of deluded timewasters  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Green Carnation on 27 June 2012, 11:51:43 pm
I had 12 ( twelve ) enquiries about incall yesterday. I normally have maximum 3. But the funny bit is that I VERY CLEARLY stated on my profile that I wasn't available for an incall on that day!!!! Were they taking the piss?! 5 of them vere phonecalls and the guys sounded genuine. The rest were texts, so you never know.
Now, some of the texts:
- hi babe, what time do you do incalls in the morning? - my profile says, I offer early morning outcalls ( this one on capital letters), but no incalls......
- free for 1 hr incall this evening? What are your rates? - profile says - no incalls today, and rates are clearly specified
- where are you based please? - ..........
- hey, free for an incall? - .........
- hi, can you do incall today? - ..... This one is even more annoying, because we SPOKE on the phone the day earlier, and I told him I wouldn't be doing incalls the text day.
- are u avlb at 5pm


And the sweetest text of the day taaaaaa daaaaaam : 'Hi xx'  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 28 June 2012, 12:53:45 am
Ten to one am...and I don't do in calls. And I get this delightful message!

How are you ? Can you accept 20? just to let me lick your pussy and your
ass hole for 10 - 15 min please ? No sex . I want to make you come with my
tongue . You can watch tv . All you have to do its just to open your legs
and i will make your juicy pussy nice and clean with my tongue .  I'm very
clean,nice, good looking man . I can come and now or tomorrow . Its Ok ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 28 June 2012, 02:02:41 am
Oh the idiots are out in force tonight.
Just had a booking made with no prior communication. And when I looked at his profile he's just joined today and as it's past midnight that's like he's been a member for 2 hours....and he want a booking NOW in East London when I'm West.

I'll forgive him as he's new....but Jesus wept, give me strength! :FF

I told him it's too late now and I can't teleport.....he said he'll pay for my cab!! Ha ha ha really! There and back....that would be about ?60!

Yesterday was my best night ever...but I'm certainly paying for it tonight!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvaBeeva on 28 June 2012, 12:31:06 pm
Quote from: Kimmy on 27 June 2012, 02:02:12 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 26 June 2012, 12:15:33 am
Quote from: ladychannel on 25 June 2012, 10:03:33 pm
Had a client a few weeks ago foreign, english was okish half hour app. pointed to me down there you clean  down there you want washy for me, you wash, i replied i am very clean had a bath for you ha he was so funny with his accent.

A couple of years ago a client turned up on my doorstep, sour face, no 'hello' or anything, walked in, explained that his "English not very good". I just thought 'whatever, I can live with that'. Anyway, we were on the bed, naked, and he did exactly the same thing as your guy, Ladychannel. Pointed to my ladyparts and said "you clean?", I tried to keep my cool and explain politely... but before I knew it, he was attempting to give me a bit of a clean with a wet wipe. I was outraged! He acted really shitty and the rest of the story is not worth sharing, but suffice it to say that he received what I call "Royal treatment", reserved only for the most annoying men ... ;D

I ask clients that do this (you clean!!!?) to leave (they are always poor english speakers for some reason ???), havnt got time for that rubbish

I had one ask me for a certificate recently ::)

I wrote back basically saying that as I use condoms with my clients, I was going to refuse his request.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 28 June 2012, 05:44:23 pm
Hey Eva  he should carry a certificate himself !!!!
 I would show my food hygiene one ha ha !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 28 June 2012, 05:54:02 pm
Have had a gutful of TWs/Hagglers/Fantasists/NoShows/idiots and people booking then cancelling shortly afterwards since yesterday afternoon  :FF :FF :FF

Can I have a real client please?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 30 June 2012, 12:16:23 pm
I'm sure this is quite tame in comparison to some of the idiots out there but I got this this morning which got my hackles up a tad!

Quote
Good morning beautiful!!!

I must say that you look so hot in your pic!!!

I'm a white male and I was looking to make a booking to help me spend my birthday.

How could you make sure its a birthday not to forget for me.

Regards

**** xx
(Derby,32)

Erm, you either want to see me or not, sorry but I'm not going to give you cheap thrills you twerp!  :FF The fact he has a face photo on his profile as well which makes it even more likely that I would want to go out of my way to see him!  ::) I simply referred him back to my profile telling him to read about my services and availability, any more questions do come back!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 01 July 2012, 04:18:55 pm
Hi there

I just wanted to message to see if you are willing to see me, I am 19 and have had no sexual experience what so ever. I love busty older woman and you are so very attractive, if it is possible to arrange a booking I would like to try a BJ and lick your arse if possible? I am not sure about sex yet as I only have a very small penis and am very shy and do not know how to have sex really. If you could let me know if possible that would be great many thanks Xxx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarita on 01 July 2012, 04:49:10 pm
Quote from: orchidperfume on 01 July 2012, 04:18:55 pm
Hi there

I just wanted to message to see if you are willing to see me, I am 19 and have had no sexual experience what so ever. I love busty older woman and you are so very attractive, if it is possible to arrange a booking I would like to try a BJ and lick your arse if possible? I am not sure about sex yet as I only have a very small penis and am very shy and do not know how to have sex really. If you could let me know if possible that would be great many thanks Xxx

This one's doing the rounds. Bin it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarita on 01 July 2012, 04:54:06 pm
Sorry orchidperfume. I'm sure you were going to bin it anyway!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lili69 on 02 July 2012, 01:36:27 pm
I've just exhanged a couple of emails with regards to a client wanting to book me tonight.  He was asking what sort of condoms I had as he required XXL ones.... so I politely replied....

anyway, this man claims to have a girth of 8" and a length of 13" - I think we need to call Norris McWhirter!  Of course, I TOTALLY believe him....

TIMEWASTER.... NEXT!!!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: naughtyjas on 03 July 2012, 07:55:58 am
Well I don't know what to make of this lovely AW message waiting for me in my inbox this morning:

Quote
Hey you are gorgeous, I want to make a serious proposition. I'm looking
for a nice asian lady who might consider getting pregnant and having a
baby with me. I will obviously pay a fee and regular monthly payments. I'm
not suggesting marriage but would be very happy to marry if it suits. I'm
a professional 33 year old caucasion, blue eyes and handsome. If of
interest please get in touch

It's too bloody early for this kind of weirdness.  Bloody stupid idot just wants bb and has come up with a long arsed story instead of asking straight out for it. If this is an indication of the kind of day I'm going to be having I'm going back to bed.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sahrbear on 03 July 2012, 08:16:30 am
95% of guys who contact me via email are timewasters (as in they are never going to phone, never going to show up).

I got one recently from a guy who explained he's "never done this before" "very shy" "very nervous" and "hopes he can go through with it". Really? Yep I'll book and pay for my working flat and then cross my little fingers that you show (oh pretty please). Why do some men think I sit around all day twiddling my thumbs?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lili69 on 03 July 2012, 12:32:36 pm
Lovely email this morning - all it said was:

u do outcall


Yes, I do outcalls, well done for noticing that on my profile!   *DELETE*  I couldn't even bothered to reply....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 03 July 2012, 08:28:38 pm
Imagine if you will, an AW profile featuring a virile hot man.
Serious hunk-land. Just yummy.
Anyway, he dropped me a message today:
hungblackescortmale: Hows u there? Juicy u got there i do like. v.sexy. u a fan of athletic built hung black. interested? feel free to gimme a buzz  xx

AUTOMATIC RESPONSE
Hi. Thank you for your Private Message. I will reply as soon as I get back to my computer. However If you would like to speak sooner, then by all means please
call my phone number, displayed at the base of my profile page.

You are very yummy. Please feel free to book a session with me.

hungblackescortmale: if u up for a fun meet when u not working feel free il be happy to give u a good seeing

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ....& repeat.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lili69 on 03 July 2012, 09:29:50 pm
Oh Jodie please please please give me hungblackescortmale's number - I'm just soooo desperate for a good seeing to for free!!!!! ha ha ha ha ha ha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Green Carnation on 04 July 2012, 01:24:32 pm
Since last Thursday, I have had nothing but bloody annoying text messages! 3 regulars booked since then, and nobody new. I'm only receiving a suspiciously high amount of text messages, all from different numbers though. I'm starting to get slightly obsessed that someone is trying to get my address, as all of them want an incall. And all of them are very similar to each other....
Some of the texts I received in the last couple of days:
- hi, r u free? If so what's your address, and are u near a station? Thx
- hi- free 4 an incall today?
- r u working today?xx
- hi
- where are u based?
- hi, u free today?
- darling, are you doing incalls today?
- u free pls
- are you free now?
- can u do 1hr incall? Where u based
- send me your address, I like to check parking pls

I am literally furious! I don't even reply to those sort of messages, I absolutely H*A*T*E text speak, and I can't be bothered to answer, not to mention give out my address to people who can't spell properly. I have tried in the past, and they were worst of the worst, always haggling, always wanting more than I can offer, always asking 100000 questions, and wanting to me my boyfriends in the end.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Moneypenny on 04 July 2012, 05:12:51 pm
I am 39, white, fit, educated... And on business in Manchester - so I have a double room booked at a top central (Princess St) Manchester hotel from 2pm on 25th to 12pm on 27th July. I am happy and willing to let you use my hotel room for incalls during that time - think of the extra business you will get lol. The only thing I ask for is that we sleep together on the nights of 25th and 26th and go out for dinner and drinks on one or both of the nights - the hotel costs and all meals and drinks are on me of course.
Please let me know if you are up for this and I will call to have a chat and confirm details.
Love Russ xx

This generous offer was emailed to me earlier. Any other north west ladies receive something similar? Anyway, I replied to politely decline and said I did outcalls only as you can never guarantee how many bookings you would get for an incall day. My one hour fee would more than cover the cost of the hotel room per day, and I think he was after far more bang for his buck. And I suspect his employer was stumping up for the hotel costs if he was on a business conference or something. But hey, God loves a trier!!

Ladies, as a newbie indie, have I been hasty and looked a gift horse in the mouth???? PM me if anyone wants to take him up on it, and I will gladly pass on his details!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 05 July 2012, 12:23:26 am
How not to book an escort....

Phone
him "hi I'd like to make a booking"
me "ok"
him: *hangs up*

seconds later

Text: lookin for apointment ?50

(my min is ?100)

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 05 July 2012, 02:21:52 pm
here's an odd one......

Emails

09/06/2012 "hi i would love to meet up with you how much would fee be as i stay in motherwell xx"

09/06/2012 - Reply "Hi there My rates are on my profile... For Motherwell times of booking are important as I dont drive x"

05/07/2012 "hi 1pm td in mwell 1hr xx"

Like a month later?!?  :o


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: figa98 on 05 July 2012, 02:31:38 pm
Miss Moneypenny I had that one too! I did not give the tw** the satisfaction of getting a reply just block/delete.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: figa98 on 05 July 2012, 02:40:02 pm
Just read you say you are a newbie.

Never ever take anyone up on anything like that.He is a time waster, a scam artist or maybe worse.

You have missed out on NOTHING! xxxx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: figa98 on 05 July 2012, 02:45:01 pm
Had one last week saying

Will you let me fist you anally and rip you slightly while doing it?

Oh yes of course you can rip my arse open,I would just love that,I mean who wouldn't?  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: improbablecats on 06 July 2012, 07:25:11 pm
"hey sweet angel,, i really like ur sexy look? feel heats im romao 26x
i neva done this b4 and am very shyx but threes something about ux
i wud lov 2 c u Gorgus maybe 4 a hot passionate lapdance,
from u in some pvc n suspeders or in some sexy outfitxxxxxxxx
then maybe some role play..
maybe a teacher who specialises in teaching how to perform the best oral on her..
u can start by showing me all you senstive areas n how u liked to be passionately kissed slowly teaching me how to make u went hornyx
maybe you ask me to undress u then show me how u like 2 masterbate and
teach me how you like me to do forcing me to eat u step by step untill u cum in my mouthxxxx i got a few pic on my proilexxx b my guestxx
maybe the teacher wants me to eat it all up... well can i miss?mmmmmxxxx
that would be soo special a hot fantasy maybe you can help live it outxxx
get back to me baby ??..muahxx???? 4nowxxxxxxx"

*runs*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 06 July 2012, 10:52:59 pm
I get an email today, * wow can i book you, wish you were my mummy* !!!!!!!!! NO THANKS  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Devilish Afro on 06 July 2012, 11:34:51 pm
Quote from: improbablecats on 06 July 2012, 07:25:11 pm
"hey sweet angel,, i really like ur sexy look? feel heats im romao 26x
i neva done this b4 and am very shyx but threes something about ux
i wud lov 2 c u Gorgus maybe 4 a hot passionate lapdance,
from u in some pvc n suspeders or in some sexy outfitxxxxxxxx
then maybe some role play..
maybe a teacher who specialises in teaching how to perform the best oral on her..
u can start by showing me all you senstive areas n how u liked to be passionately kissed slowly teaching me how to make u went hornyx
maybe you ask me to undress u then show me how u like 2 masterbate and
teach me how you like me to do forcing me to eat u step by step untill u cum in my mouthxxxx i got a few pic on my proilexxx b my guestxx
maybe the teacher wants me to eat it all up... well can i miss?mmmmmxxxx
that would be soo special a hot fantasy maybe you can help live it outxxx
get back to me baby ??..muahxx???? 4nowxxxxxxx"

*runs*

OMG I got the same request too :

hey sweet angel,, i really like ur sexy look? feel heats im romao 26x
i neva done this b4 and am very shyx but threes something about ux
i wud lov 2 c u Gorgus maybe 4 a hot passionate lapdance,
from u in some pvc n suspeders or in some sexy outfitxxxxxxxx
then maybe some role play..
maybe a teacher who specialises in teaching how to perform the best oral on her..
u can start by showing me all you senstive areas n how u liked to be passionately kissed slowly teaching me how to make u went hornyx
maybe you ask me to undress u then show me how u like 2 masterbate and
teach me how you like me to do forcing me to eat u step by step untill u cum in my mouthxxxx i got a few pic on my proilexxx b my guestxx
maybe the teacher wants me to eat it all up... well can i miss?mmmmmxxxx
that would be soo special a hot fantasy maybe you can help live it outxxx
get back to me baby ??..muahxx???? 4nowxxxxxxx

thank u bby... u are very cute toooo...xxxx

All I get from AW is time wasters, seriously.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 07 July 2012, 04:52:46 pm
Can anyone explain this one I got in February...

Honor of (worship of) mum would like to meet (to face each other) from erotic announcements on your number tongue (speech) message (knowledge) not enough (little) in english live write me  honslow

The brackets were his! I assume it was done through some kind of translation thing!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Escort38 on 07 July 2012, 05:22:13 pm
Attempting to translate using those free online services can be a disaster. I have had
similar emails and they are so ridiculous I just ignore them. The odd word or phrase is ok
to translate but a whole message?  Very unwise!  ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 07 July 2012, 06:15:18 pm
Quote from: Friday on 05 July 2012, 02:21:52 pm
here's an odd one......

Emails

09/06/2012 "hi i would love to meet up with you how much would fee be as i stay in motherwell xx"

09/06/2012 - Reply "Hi there My rates are on my profile... For Motherwell times of booking are important as I dont drive x"

05/07/2012 "hi 1pm td in mwell 1hr xx"

Like a month later?!?  :o

Hahaha... I got him too the first time around in about June!  ;D I got a sixth sense it was a copy-paste job so didn't reply. xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 09 July 2012, 04:45:09 pm
Pluuuurrrssseee!!!

Quote
hi, i am mark and currently work with sarah doing 3somes, they are popular and we charge ?140 for hour but it never lasts more than 30 mins, i am orally bi so i play with him and he can play with me too

sarah is going away soon and i am looking for another girl to work with, please email me if you would be interested xx

mark xx

So you're not particularly local and expect me to work with you at a lower rate than I currently charge...? Oh and being so popular you've only got 1 feedback as well... let me think about this one...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: freyja.g on 10 July 2012, 02:20:25 pm
Client wanted to book me for an hour at starting at 4, saying his wife would be in at around 5... I said I was a bit worried about this, what if she comes in early...

His response: "it will be fine we will have time< its not a risk for you she would just cry and walk out till iam done :) x"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 10 July 2012, 03:11:33 pm
just had a guy text to cancel saying he can't possible do this to himself after calling all morning. to talk! luckily i didn't give him my hotel room number!
where do they come from i ask you?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 10 July 2012, 03:28:39 pm
Quote from: freyja.g on 10 July 2012, 02:20:25 pm
Client wanted to book me for an hour at starting at 4, saying his wife would be in at around 5... I said I was a bit worried about this, what if she comes in early...

His response: "it will be fine we will have time< its not a risk for you she would just cry and walk out till iam done :) x"

Hi there,

Just a quick email to see if you may be interested in having a free professional photoshoot? I'm a full time regularly published photographer (for over ten years), and I could happily do a shoot and supply you all the photos in exchange for a some naughtyness with yourself if you would be interested?

I am 100% discreet and professional, plus my shoots to my normal publishing clients are charged at between ?300-500, but I'd be happy to exchange my time for free of charge!

Approx half an hour to an hour shooting in exchange for a good massage would suit me nicely.... I hope that sounds of interest to you!

Regards,
Ian
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 10 July 2012, 07:42:01 pm
Quote from: freyja.g on 10 July 2012, 02:20:25 pm
Client wanted to book me for an hour at starting at 4, saying his wife would be in at around 5... I said I was a bit worried about this, what if she comes in early...

His response: "it will be fine we will have time< its not a risk for you she would just cry and walk out till iam done :) x"

If he's not a TW, then he's a bastard.  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 10 July 2012, 09:00:56 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 10 July 2012, 07:42:01 pm
Quote from: freyja.g on 10 July 2012, 02:20:25 pm
Client wanted to book me for an hour at starting at 4, saying his wife would be in at around 5... I said I was a bit worried about this, what if she comes in early...

His response: "it will be fine we will have time< its not a risk for you she would just cry and walk out till iam done :) x"

If he's not a TW, then he's a bastard.  >:(

Well he is a charmer isn't he!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 10 July 2012, 09:03:04 pm
Quote from: orchidperfume on 10 July 2012, 03:11:33 pm
just had a guy text to cancel saying he can't possible do this to himself after calling all morning. to talk! luckily i didn't give him my hotel room number!
where do they come from i ask you?!

I have had a few of these they are always called Frank.  I am now wary of anyone called Frank!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 11 July 2012, 02:53:22 pm
Text: You've been sent this message by ****** asking you to call them back as they dont have credit...

How fucking rude!!!  :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Devilish Afro on 11 July 2012, 03:00:16 pm
Unbelievable! But it did make me laugh out loud though.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 11 July 2012, 03:02:17 pm
Quote from: FridayI on 11 July 2012, 02:53:22 pm
Text: You've been sent this message by ****** asking you to call them back as they dont have credit...

How fucking rude!!!  :FF :FF :FF :FF

Yup, me too!  It's beyond belief.  In conjunction with the above, I occasionally get one ring - thinking 'Oh must of been a mistake but if not they'll call back later..' type thing.  Then, five mins later - ONE RING again by the same number.  Then it occurs to me a few minutes later after another singular ring that the cheeky basturd wants me to call them back!  Very weird haha. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FOXXY on 11 July 2012, 05:15:36 pm
i had one guy book me for an outcall for 4pm.and tell me i had to wait until midnight when he can get cash from his account.poor him lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 11 July 2012, 07:00:32 pm
'Hi are you open?'

Wtf?! Lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Escort38 on 11 July 2012, 08:36:19 pm
Quote from: freyja.g on 10 July 2012, 02:20:25 pm
Client wanted to book me for an hour at starting at 4, saying his wife would be in at around 5... I said I was a bit worried about this, what if she comes in early...

His response: "it will be fine we will have time< its not a risk for you she would just cry and walk out till iam done :) x"

I just found this one.   :o :o :o

That is truly awful!  Imagine being his wife and what he describes actually happens!   :'(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PoshTotty on 11 July 2012, 08:36:58 pm
My serial TW, who keeps reinventing himself but doesn?t seem to realise he has the same IP for each different email address, sent me a cock pic. He said:
?I attached a pic of my cock just for a bit of a laugh, what do you think of it, do you like it and would you like it inside you? ;-)?
I was very tempted to say something scathing but decided to just delete the email instead. Then because he hadn?t received a reply for nearly 5 hours he sent another email asking if it was a bad idea attaching the pic of his cock and whether I liked it. Nobber! And delete.
Happy days ;D

Quote from: MissKylie on 11 July 2012, 07:00:32 pm
'Hi are you open?'

Wtf?! Lol!
I?ve had the odd one or two who have said that. It?s weird and shows how shite their social skills are. I tend to say ?What?! Do you mean am I taking bookings? I?m an independent escort not a parlour!?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sadie x on 11 July 2012, 10:35:33 pm
Quote from: Friday on 11 July 2012, 02:53:22 pm
Text: You've been sent this message by ****** asking you to call them back as they dont have credit...

How fucking rude!!!  :FF :FF :FF :FF
i had this yesterday!!yea right really gunna see a guy who cant afford credit!
even in real life..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 11 July 2012, 10:52:50 pm
idiot: hiya
Friday: Hi there
idiot: what time you working from tomorrow?
Friday: on cam?
idiot: no
idiot: in person
Friday: well be easier you telling me what you want and where of course
idiot: at your place
idiot: 30 mins
Friday: why have you not read my profile
idiot: i have but often find them inaccurate
idiot: best to ask
Friday: so you just ignored everything it says to ask for whatever you like?
idiot leaves the room

I'm outcalls only min 1 hour  ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 11 July 2012, 11:13:42 pm
Oooh! I've got one :D (apologies for the lack of paragraphs, but that's how it arrived, along with a 'Re: Meeting you' in the subject line despite my never having heard from the prat before, so somebody else has got this one too):

Quote
Hi Amy,

Your decision to escort is to be commended and rewarded. Abundantly rewarded I may add so that you will be enticed to be available for several years to come. Though I may only be able to see you a few times, it would be nice to always be able to see you in the long term future. After reading your Adultwork profile, I wonder who would be so cheapskate as to ask for a discount? You are absolutely a treasure. Though you are fiercely independent and business minded, one would have to consider very privileged for the opportunity to date you over a long time in lieu of an open marriage, traditional marriage or some other conjugal arrangement. You have a very nice genetic make up, and I have no doubts that you would be quite attractive in your late fifties and even sixties. It also does not matter how tight or how loose you are because either condition would be a great pleasure. It would be quite surprising if you were super tight simply because extremely beautiful escorts like you are touched quite a lot (regardless of schemes to see a few clients a day). You offer anal with no restrictions on size so that I am confident that you are very experienced in that area. Though there are many escorts that are beaufiful, mature, experienced, nicely loose (both openings), only a few embody your beauty, style, charm and desirability for companionship beyond escorting. It would not surprise me if you were to marry two to three times before your fifties, and at least one wealthy foreigner who would bestow upon you great riches for the privilege.

Very Lustfully

R*****

Give me fooking strength ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 11 July 2012, 11:32:56 pm
Quote from: amy on 11 July 2012, 11:13:42 pm
Oooh! I've got one :D (apologies for the lack of paragraphs, but that's how it arrived, along with a 'Re: Meeting you' in the subject line despite my never having heard from the prat before, so somebody else has got this one too):

Quote
Hi Amy,

Your decision to escort is to be commended and rewarded. Abundantly rewarded I may add so that you will be enticed to be available for several years to come. Though I may only be able to see you a few times, it would be nice to always be able to see you in the long term future. After reading your Adultwork profile, I wonder who would be so cheapskate as to ask for a discount? You are absolutely a treasure. Though you are fiercely independent and business minded, one would have to consider very privileged for the opportunity to date you over a long time in lieu of an open marriage, traditional marriage or some other conjugal arrangement. You have a very nice genetic make up, and I have no doubts that you would be quite attractive in your late fifties and even sixties. It also does not matter how tight or how loose you are because either condition would be a great pleasure. It would be quite surprising if you were super tight simply because extremely beautiful escorts like you are touched quite a lot (regardless of schemes to see a few clients a day). You offer anal with no restrictions on size so that I am confident that you are very experienced in that area. Though there are many escorts that are beaufiful, mature, experienced, nicely loose (both openings), only a few embody your beauty, style, charm and desirability for companionship beyond escorting. It would not surprise me if you were to marry two to three times before your fifties, and at least one wealthy foreigner who would bestow upon you great riches for the privilege.

Very Lustfully

R*****

Give me fooking strength ;D.


eh......what the fuck is that all about?!!?!?  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 11 July 2012, 11:35:39 pm
You must have lost the will to live after reading that one Amy.

BTW have a nice holiday - go and enjoy and if you can bring back some sun.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 11 July 2012, 11:38:56 pm
Quote from: amy on 11 July 2012, 11:13:42 pm
Oooh! I've got one :D (apologies for the lack of paragraphs, but that's how it arrived, along with a 'Re: Meeting you' in the subject line despite my never having heard from the prat before, so somebody else has got this one too):

Quote
Hi Amy,

Your decision to escort is to be commended and rewarded. Abundantly rewarded I may add so that you will be enticed to be available for several years to come. Though I may only be able to see you a few times, it would be nice to always be able to see you in the long term future. After reading your Adultwork profile, I wonder who would be so cheapskate as to ask for a discount? You are absolutely a treasure. Though you are fiercely independent and business minded, one would have to consider very privileged for the opportunity to date you over a long time in lieu of an open marriage, traditional marriage or some other conjugal arrangement. You have a very nice genetic make up, and I have no doubts that you would be quite attractive in your late fifties and even sixties. It also does not matter how tight or how loose you are because either condition would be a great pleasure. It would be quite surprising if you were super tight simply because extremely beautiful escorts like you are touched quite a lot (regardless of schemes to see a few clients a day). You offer anal with no restrictions on size so that I am confident that you are very experienced in that area. Though there are many escorts that are beaufiful, mature, experienced, nicely loose (both openings), only a few embody your beauty, style, charm and desirability for companionship beyond escorting. It would not surprise me if you were to marry two to three times before your fifties, and at least one wealthy foreigner who would bestow upon you great riches for the privilege.

Very Lustfully

R*****

Give me fooking strength ;D.

That has GOT to be the definition of pointless.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 11 July 2012, 11:51:50 pm
Quote from: Friday on 11 July 2012, 11:32:56 pm
eh......what the fuck is that all about?!!?!?  :o

I know  ???.

The daft part is, the very first thing I felt when I'd read it was chuffed to bits that I finally had something well worthy of posting on this thread :).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ana30 on 12 July 2012, 01:41:36 am
Quote
Hi Amy,

Your decision to escort is to be commended and rewarded. Abundantly rewarded I may add so that you will be enticed to be available for several years to come. Though I may only be able to see you a few times, it would be nice to always be able to see you in the long term future. After reading your Adultwork profile, I wonder who would be so cheapskate as to ask for a discount? You are absolutely a treasure. Though you are fiercely independent and business minded, one would have to consider very privileged for the opportunity to date you over a long time in lieu of an open marriage, traditional marriage or some other conjugal arrangement. You have a very nice genetic make up, and I have no doubts that you would be quite attractive in your late fifties and even sixties. It also does not matter how tight or how loose you are because either condition would be a great pleasure. It would be quite surprising if you were super tight simply because extremely beautiful escorts like you are touched quite a lot (regardless of schemes to see a few clients a day). You offer anal with no restrictions on size so that I am confident that you are very experienced in that area. Though there are many escorts that are beaufiful, mature, experienced, nicely loose (both openings), only a few embody your beauty, style, charm and desirability for companionship beyond escorting. It would not surprise me if you were to marry two to three times before your fifties, and at least one wealthy foreigner who would bestow upon you great riches for the privilege.

Very Lustfully

R*****

Someone bring a straight jacket! Fast! :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 12 July 2012, 05:26:19 pm
I have just had a text "would you give a handjob for a tenner" I replied "no", so he asked how much ?I told him my rates and now he asking if I do 15 mins ffs what is wrong with these men? If they want a quick knuckle shuffle why don't they go and find a house that accommodates that ? we all know they exist!! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 12 July 2012, 05:28:32 pm
Why dosnt he save his money (as he is obviously struggling financially) and do it for himself !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverbird on 12 July 2012, 05:32:07 pm
Narcissistic Personality Disorder??? A broad term of course, but he's sooooooo gotta be in the 'unhealthy variety'  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverbird on 12 July 2012, 05:36:12 pm
Sorry, was referring to Amy's post below!
Quote from: amy on 11 July 2012, 11:13:42 pm

Quote
Hi Amy,

Your decision to escort is to be commended and rewarded. Abundantly rewarded I may add so that you will be enticed to be available for several years to come. Though I may only be able to see you a few times, it would be nice to always be able to see you in the long term future. After reading your Adultwork profile, I wonder who would be so cheapskate as to ask for a discount? You are absolutely a treasure. Though you are fiercely independent and business minded, one would have to consider very privileged for the opportunity to date you over a long time in lieu of an open marriage, traditional marriage or some other conjugal arrangement. You have a very nice genetic make up, and I have no doubts that you would be quite attractive in your late fifties and even sixties. It also does not matter how tight or how loose you are because either condition would be a great pleasure. It would be quite surprising if you were super tight simply because extremely beautiful escorts like you are touched quite a lot (regardless of schemes to see a few clients a day). You offer anal with no restrictions on size so that I am confident that you are very experienced in that area. Though there are many escorts that are beaufiful, mature, experienced, nicely loose (both openings), only a few embody your beauty, style, charm and desirability for companionship beyond escorting. It would not surprise me if you were to marry two to three times before your fifties, and at least one wealthy foreigner who would bestow upon you great riches for the privilege.

Very Lustfully

R*****

Give me fooking strength ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 12 July 2012, 08:59:48 pm
Wheeeeeyyy.. Just got this text -

'Hi, im looking for one hour of 69 asslicking x'

Noice!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lili69 on 12 July 2012, 09:29:25 pm
Quote from: Clarabella on 12 July 2012, 08:59:48 pm
Wheeeeeyyy.. Just got this text -

'Hi, im looking for one hour of 69 asslicking x'

Noice!

Wow - that must have been very hard to resist!  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 13 July 2012, 12:00:25 am
Quote from: Clarabella on 12 July 2012, 08:59:48 pm
Wheeeeeyyy.. Just got this text -

'Hi, im looking for one hour of 69 asslicking x'

Noice!

Seriously who's fault is this?? Who had made guys obsessed with putting there tongues here?!??! A year ago im sure the guys were not telling me how "cute my asshole" was WTF?!?

It's all I hear now..them wanting there tongue up my  :-X :-X :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverbird on 13 July 2012, 12:23:54 am
Quote from: Friday on 13 July 2012, 12:00:25 am
Quote from: Clarabella on 12 July 2012, 08:59:48 pm
Wheeeeeyyy.. Just got this text -

'Hi, im looking for one hour of 69 asslicking x'

Noice!

Seriously who's fault is this?? Who had made guys obsessed with putting there tongues here?!??! A year ago im sure the guys were not telling me how "cute my asshole" was WTF?!?

It's all I hear now..them wanting there tongue up my  :-X :-X :-X
Ask Emily ;D
http://youtu.be/2EmWyw0KLJk
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverbird on 13 July 2012, 12:45:47 am
I don't mean our 'Emily' on here btw!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 13 July 2012, 12:18:37 pm
Quote from: Friday on 13 July 2012, 12:00:25 am
Quote from: Clarabella on 12 July 2012, 08:59:48 pm
Wheeeeeyyy.. Just got this text -

'Hi, im looking for one hour of 69 asslicking x'

Noice!

Seriously who's fault is this?? Who had made guys obsessed with putting there tongues here?!??! A year ago im sure the guys were not telling me how "cute my asshole" was WTF?!?

It's all I hear now..them wanting there tongue up my  :-X :-X :-X

A year ago I was constantly being asked for hardsports/scat...now it's anal. Can't they all collectively find something else to be obsessed with?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 13 July 2012, 12:24:54 pm
Call just now inbetween cam sessions:

Idiot: "Hi is that Jess?"
Me: "No"
Idiot: "Who is this?"
Me: "Excuse me??"
Idiot: "Is that Diane?"
Me: "Diana, yes"
Idiot: "Oh hi, just saw you on cam and want to arrange a meeting, will call you back in a second..."

I guess he meant to call Jess after all as he didn't call back! LOL!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarita on 13 July 2012, 12:34:44 pm
Phone rings. Answer it  and have following conversation:

him: Hiya love, is this Sarita?
me: yep, that's me
him: (presumably surprised by my accent) But I've been on your website and and it says you're from Liverpool and that's where you work from.
me: Yes, I do work in Liverpool.
him: But I thought you were a Liverpudlian because you're based there
me: It might come as a surprise to you but people do live in places they weren't born in. I live in Liverpool, I work in Liverpool but I'm not from Liverpool originally
him: I think I'd better ring you another time. We haven't got off to a very good start, have we?
me: no. Click

People are strange aren't they? This man seemed really annoyed that I haven't got a scouse accent, as though it was a deliberate deceit on my part to not spell it out on my website.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady c on 13 July 2012, 03:44:57 pm
perhaps i should put welsh girl working in leicesteron my profile just in case... silly man. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 13 July 2012, 07:08:18 pm
"
Reading your feedback tells me you enjoy giving pleasure so in that regard we share a common theme. If we were to meet I would want to ensure you were having so much pleasure you may not want to let me go. Forgive the minor self delusion but it is a little bit accurate.

Await your response eagerly."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bananamuffin on 13 July 2012, 07:39:30 pm
I hope you've been able to contain yourself ilovdots. The strain of not replying must be terrible.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Beautiful_Belle on 13 July 2012, 09:39:18 pm
Oh my goodness, there are some absolute crackers here!

I've had a fair few myself - the gentlemen suggesting that due to their extraordinary length/girth/staying power/good looks etc I would feel so smitten and overwhelmed that I'd be unable to take their money are the most frequent of course, but the one who asked me the other day if I would enjoy being called a 'fat f***ing b****' during bookings was possibly my most difficult to resist...

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 13 July 2012, 11:02:58 pm
Quote from: bananamuffin on 13 July 2012, 07:39:30 pm
I hope you've been able to contain yourself ilovdots. The strain of not replying must be terrible.

It is indeed! But I must to play 'hard to get' (i.e. ignore and forget), I will go out of my way to teach him this valuable lesson in the art of seduction :D 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 14 July 2012, 01:56:50 pm
Another needy one has been on my case, really getting on my nerves now. Booked 2h for tomorrow, and keeps sending e-mails, trying to make sure it's still on, describing what he'd like to do, you know the type. I would normally have blocked him by now, but he does have very good feedback, plus he sounds lovely and normal on the phone. He's an older man, and I found that some of them can be a bit of a pain with all the questions, especially if they're new to this. I ignore his messages, hopefully he will get the idea.

It's a bit frustrating when you have to remind yourself to stay calm and polite, because at the end of the day there's nothing (well, apart from the fact that he's clearly bored) wrong with the guy and he seems genuine. You don't want to put him off but it really takes some effort!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lili69 on 14 July 2012, 06:14:11 pm
Email this morning - "hiya are you available today or tomorrow.  I am new to escorting and so I'm looking for a good time"

As opposed to long standing punters who are looking for a rubbish time?    ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: naughtyjas on 14 July 2012, 07:51:06 pm
Just had a text from someone in my phonebook named walked out

Quote
Can I make an appt for 8 2nite.


er, the answer would be no.  You didn't like me last time so why book again.  Idiot ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 14 July 2012, 11:15:24 pm
A guy arranged a session tonight, I texted him the address and his reply was: "great i know where that is i wont need to use twat nav lol"

God give me strength  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 15 July 2012, 08:03:50 pm
Phone rings - I answer voice on the end says can you play with your pussy - I hang up

Soon be school holidays and phone calls like these will go through the roof - delightful  :FF - roll on September x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 15 July 2012, 11:27:53 pm
I received 7 identical text messages from the same guy over a period of about 10 hours:

"Hi A., yr aw profile is quite addictive and I have to keep going bk to it, its v haunting"

Yes, and?   ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 18 July 2012, 10:13:10 pm
Here I am again, a text I received a minute ago:

Hii then I sow ur profil adultwork I wanna meet u are u able
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ellie_e on 19 July 2012, 12:23:54 pm
my turn my turn! (edited to protect the crazy)


Hello Ellie
 
I am XXy.o doctor(xxxxx) from XXXX, well travelled gentleman with a wide spectrum of interests, [list redacted]
looking for  educated partner during my stay in London August 5-11 Hotel Dorchester, in case You are interested in dating with me please reply according to,

I wish to know more about You in the following ones:
1. Your interest and experience in dancing tango&salsa,
2. if You have joined any event meeting of Rotarians,
3. If You have practised yoga or ballet
4. I need someone who also follows the trends in the market of cosmetics,
5. better in addition who obsess the guidelines of British  medical system and institutions which refer to dermotologists.
6.You have to consider the fact that I am a dermotologist, and want to appear in my social circle and events
with a lady who is well groomed and experienced extraordinarily in reflecting the natural beauty of her skin care.
7.Enhanced beauty effect of legs whilst performing elegance on exquisite pair of high heels for private clubbing activities is special wish of mine, which should also convince third eyes about my professional expertize
8.I dont like female companions with bladder weakness.

My professional background consists of following experiences:

[1-5 - list of very specific medical areas, redacted]

I am also sending You some pics of me and my travels,
looking forward to discuss the details, in case You wanna date with me
warm regards


What I want to know is why the crazies always chose the Mandarin Oriental, or the Dorchester, for our supposed tryst?  Like these are the only schmancy hotels they know??

Again like Amy my first thought upon receiving this was that it was so long since I'd had anything good enough for this thread!  ;D[/list]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PoshTotty on 19 July 2012, 08:49:45 pm
So, when are you meeting him then Ellie  ;) ;D He sounds wonderful  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 19 July 2012, 09:41:15 pm
Quote from: Ellie_e on 19 July 2012, 12:23:54 pm

8.I dont like female companions with bladder weakness.



This HAS to be a contender in the "How Not to Book an Escort" awards 2012!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ellie_e on 20 July 2012, 10:49:27 am
Quote from: PoshTotty on 19 July 2012, 08:49:45 pm
So, when are you meeting him then Ellie  ;) ;D He sounds wonderful  ;D

Well I've not been to any Rotarian events and I'm also not a fan of the chintzy decor at the Dorchester so tragically I'll have to sit this one out, oh NO


I also have bladder weakness
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 20 July 2012, 10:28:32 pm
well I had a text from a potential booking, after enquiring he said, "can I look up your skirt at your pussy and pull your lips apart for a good look up your hole?" ermmmm no
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: etherealmelody on 21 July 2012, 07:18:56 am
Quote from: reneesme on 20 July 2012, 10:28:32 pm
well I had a text from a potential booking, after enquiring he said, "can I look up your skirt at your pussy and pull your lips apart for a good look up your hole?" ermmmm no
Hahaha, that's hilarious. I wonder if he's ever seen a real pussy before, because I'm pretty sure it is not a gaping orifice you can see up like a tube.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: etherealmelody on 21 July 2012, 07:30:28 am
On my AW (there are literally only 20 escorts in Toronto who use it):

"Hi there, i'm coming over the pond for a few days and i liked your profile quite a bit! I am a virgin because I am... erm, well, self conscious about my size and thought why wait? Better now than ever!"

I respond, "Hi, <name>, I'd love to book with you. When were you wanting to book for?"

His response, "thanks melody, i am looking forward booking. can u do it tmrw? my parents will be visiting mates and i'll be by myself in the hotel."

... No. No thank you. Also, I Facebooked his email address and was shocked to find he used his real email address. So daft!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kristina Bristol Escort on 21 July 2012, 09:59:02 am
This little gem in my inbox today - I am so charmed my bags are packed and I am looking for my wedding dress!!! ;D

Hi my name is thomas.
 
You are sweet andt beatfuld lady with heart to feelings fuld out dear in leif.
 
Like to meet you four funther,leif andt
marrigiet.You mans sweets heart andt dream to lelving with.Will us the best to old time say that with heart andt feelings.Has many thinks to giving you andt us in leif.
 
Ay will be nice,sweet andt good over from you,some say dear.
 
Accept you andt your works,also forward beetween us.
 
Clear to be andt stay your good husbundt so soon you say yes.We has old to wind dearlig beatfuld sweet darling.P.S.Hope soon has a mail from you with your ansher.Good day to you andt your heat.
 
Best rengrats.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 21 July 2012, 10:36:40 am
Quote from: etherealmelody on 21 July 2012, 07:30:28 am
On my AW (there are literally only 20 escorts in Toronto who use it):

"Hi there, i'm coming over the pond for a few days and i liked your profile quite a bit! I am a virgin because I am... erm, well, self conscious about my size and thought why wait? Better now than ever!"

I respond, "Hi, <name>, I'd love to book with you. When were you wanting to book for?"

His response, "thanks melody, i am looking forward booking. can u do it tmrw? my parents will be visiting mates and i'll be by myself in the hotel."

... No. No thank you. Also, I Facebooked his email address and was shocked to find he used his real email address. So daft!

Am I missing something? What is wrong with this one, other than no contact details.  Are you assuming he is a child?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 21 July 2012, 11:19:12 am
Text this morning:

Cretin: 'Hi can u do bareback if clean?"

Me: "No, but I'm willing to donate a few braincells for a transplant."

Cretin: "Oh, thanks x"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 21 July 2012, 11:49:41 am
After I text a guy to tell him I was fully booked while on a tour lately he replied :

Eejit : Oh I'm sure you will want to make space for me  ::)  I'm different  :FF

Me :    I'm sure you are as different as the next one - or so the story goes  ;D

Eejit :  Oh I didnt mean it that way, what I mean is, I'm covered in tattoos  :'(

Me   :   Well that totally says it for me, I despise tattoos to the point that i want to vomit when I see them, so I suggest you jog on to someone who DOES like them cos you got the wrong one here.  :(

Sorry if you have tats or like them, I don't mean to offend but why do people who have them think everyone does.  :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 21 July 2012, 07:23:29 pm
Quote from: Kristina Bristol Escort on 21 July 2012, 09:59:02 am
This little gem in my inbox today - I am so charmed my bags are packed and I am looking for my wedding dress!!! ;D

Hi my name is thomas.
 
You are sweet andt beatfuld lady with heart to feelings fuld out dear in leif.
 
Like to meet you four funther,leif andt
marrigiet.You mans sweets heart andt dream to lelving with.Will us the best to old time say that with heart andt feelings.Has many thinks to giving you andt us in leif.
 
Ay will be nice,sweet andt good over from you,some say dear.
 
Accept you andt your works,also forward beetween us.
 
Clear to be andt stay your good husbundt so soon you say yes.We has old to wind dearlig beatfuld sweet darling.P.S.Hope soon has a mail from you with your ansher.Good day to you andt your heat.
 
Best rengrats.

WTH??????  what the hell is that lol...it's not a google translate job, so what is it?  Having finally deciphered it, I can see why you're heat's all a flutterd! lmao
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 21 July 2012, 11:13:27 pm
I had a call some hours ago from a very young male with a high pitch voice .wanted to celebrate his birthday with me.I asked him how old he was 20 !
I said youre too youn g so  he would wait some years he told me.
I told him to call someone else
He then calls out down the phone i love you to which i hung up !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xprincesspx on 22 July 2012, 12:29:40 am
Just has this text message come through....

 " PRICE ? "
 

Lol men are idiots sometimes x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kinky Starlet on 22 July 2012, 12:42:57 am
Ooooo this beauty arrived at 3am this morning from a chap only a member for 20 mins before he sent it!!

Fanatasist; [7 paragraphs of preamble about what a great guy he is and how much he hates paying for sex if he thinks the woman isn't enjoying it] Would you come and meet me at [insert name of  huge spooky isolated local park] just after midnight on Sunday. I'll have laid down a blanket, for you to lie down on. Lie on your back and open your legs and then please I want you to act maternal to me while I fuck you roughly. I know you're the kind of girl to offer a tailored sensual service. Then I'd like to take you for a drink
Me:  Hold me back ladies, this one's all mine!  :FF

Delete.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rainbow24 on 22 July 2012, 12:44:59 am
My rate is 150/hr...or 100/half hour...

Last week by text: "Hi how are you? I am a single dad and can't afford that much could you see me for an hour for 70 x thanks"

And most days: "u free babe?" or just "whats ur address?" from complete strangers... I HATE being called babe by unknown punters... and oh yeah, of course, I totally just send my address to random unidentified texters, lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: justgee84 on 22 July 2012, 10:49:47 am
This has just arrived in my AW inbox:

Guy: "Mature guy, bareback, gimme your address"

Me: *delete*

(I don't offer bareback or incalls - as specified throughout my profile)

And this from the other day:

Guy: "I'm going 2 buk a hotel to cum n c u babe. I know fat chicks luv it ruf n i hate jonnies"

Me (again): *delete*

Guy (about an hour later): "I'm genuine"

Me: (ROFL) *delete*

Love it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 22 July 2012, 03:20:38 pm
OMG give me his number please .................NOT!!

This text arrived last nite at around half 9 and if I hadn't had a boil on my ass to squeeze I would have gone  ;D
"I've got xxx quid here with your name on if you can come to xxxxxxx ( approx 30 miles away) tonight, I have previously told this fool that I need notice for an outcall to him that far away and it will be 50 quid higher than what he said as I have to cover travelling expenses!!

AND

" xx for hour outcall (30 quid lower than my rate) I replied "that is my incall rate" he replied " I know but I pay you that for outcall yes?" errrr no !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 22 July 2012, 06:41:14 pm
Quote from: Rainbow24 on 22 July 2012, 12:44:59 am
My rate is 150/hr...or 70/half hour...


You need to fix your rate. 2 x half hour is 140, so better to book you for two consecutive half hours than an hour.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsummer on 23 July 2012, 10:33:30 pm
How's a girl to resist this lovely gents offer?  ::)

Hello

I have a mutually beneficial proposal

I can provide rent free accomodation to someone who is willing to help in light household work

Accomodation will be completetely free and you will get 24hr internet

So if you require a place to live then please get in touch

I am 32 yrs old and live with my partner and 2 kids in a very nice 2 bedroom apartment

Thanks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lala13 on 23 July 2012, 10:44:21 pm
Quote from: Adriana on 23 July 2012, 10:33:30 pm
How's a girl to resist this lovely gents offer?  ::)

Hello

I have a mutually beneficial proposal

I can provide rent free accomodation to someone who is willing to help in light household work

Accomodation will be completetely free and you will get 24hr internet

So if you require a place to live then please get in touch

I am 32 yrs old and live with my partner and 2 kids in a very nice 2 bedroom apartment

Thanks


 :o :o :o

I am lost for words .... ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: justgee84 on 23 July 2012, 10:46:20 pm
Quote from: Adriana on 23 July 2012, 10:33:30 pm
How's a girl to resist this lovely gents offer?  ::)

Hello

I have a mutually beneficial proposal

I can provide rent free accomodation to someone who is willing to help in light household work

Accomodation will be completetely free and you will get 24hr internet

So if you require a place to live then please get in touch

I am 32 yrs old and live with my partner and 2 kids in a very nice 2 bedroom apartment

Thanks

Two bed apartment with him, his partner and 2 kids... So where would you be sleeping exactly??! Lol.

I had a lovely email this morning:

Hello,
I am Engineer Patrick J***** from UK..little about me.I am from Dublin,
Ireland but I was raise in Liverpool United Kingdom..I take medical
check up seriously with a great personalty.I will need you on my tour
to Africa on the 5th of August and i will be there for 8 days,I
will need you to escort me to Africa in Nigeria republic.just check
your ads out and found you so cool and decided pick you.Please mail me
back if you want to go with me. i am ready to offer you a good
sum.Hope 2500 pounds per day for one week (8days) is that okay? and
upfront will be paid to you even before you leave your state. All
necessary document will be arranged, so feel free to get back to me
asap only if you are willing to go with me.
Looking forward to hear back from you.Please do get back to me asap
because of other things at hand because am always busy and travels
alots.lol. I hope you can give me a maximum massages and a good
escorting service and lots! guess i will enjoy your service! Get back
to me as soon as possible to my email address at
p******j*******@gmail.com. if you know you are interested.



.....Beaut that one pal!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsummer on 23 July 2012, 10:57:47 pm
Quote from: justgee84 on 23 July 2012, 10:46:20 pm

Two bed apartment with him, his partner and 2 kids... So where would you be sleeping exactly??! Lol.


Ahh, but this not just any flat, it's a very nice 2 bedroom apartment!  ;)

Lala, I'm pretty speechless too.

My reply to his kind offer:
'You are clearly deluded. I'm an escort, I get paid for sex and I get paid quite well indeed. I have a lovely flat where I don't have to live with 4 others. Why on earth would you think I'm be interested in working as a housekeeper in a 2 bed flat with 4 other people, and I can only assume having to sleep with you too, without getting paid a penny!'

His reply:
'assumption is right almost'

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mellow on 23 July 2012, 11:05:46 pm
Quote from: justgee84 on 23 July 2012, 10:46:20 pm
I had a lovely email this morning:

Hello,
I am Engineer Patrick J***** from UK..little about me.I am from Dublin,
Ireland but I was raise in Liverpool United Kingdom..I take medical
check up seriously with a great personalty.I will need you on my tour
to Africa on the 5th of August and i will be there for 8 days,I
will need you to escort me to Africa in Nigeria republic.just check
your ads out and found you so cool and decided pick you.Please mail me
back if you want to go with me. i am ready to offer you a good
sum.Hope 2500 pounds per day for one week (8days) is that okay? and
upfront will be paid to you even before you leave your state. All
necessary document will be arranged, so feel free to get back to me
asap only if you are willing to go with me.
Looking forward to hear back from you.Please do get back to me asap
because of other things at hand because am always busy and travels
alots.lol. I hope you can give me a maximum massages and a good
escorting service and lots! guess i will enjoy your service! Get back
to me as soon as possible to my email address at
p******j*******@gmail.com. if you know you are interested.



.....Beaut that one pal!

I had one VERY similar to this but not via AW....it must be doing the rounds.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 23 July 2012, 11:17:32 pm
Quote from: justgee84 on 23 July 2012, 10:46:20 pm

I had a lovely email this morning:

Hello,
I am Engineer Patrick J***** from UK..little about me.I am from Dublin,
Ireland but I was raise in Liverpool United Kingdom..I take medical
check up seriously with a great personalty.I will need you on my tour
to Africa on the 5th of August and i will be there for 8 days,I
will need you to escort me to Africa in Nigeria republic.just check
your ads out and found you so cool and decided pick you.Please mail me
back if you want to go with me. i am ready to offer you a good
sum.Hope 2500 pounds per day for one week (8days) is that okay? and
upfront will be paid to you even before you leave your state. All
necessary document will be arranged, so feel free to get back to me
asap only if you are willing to go with me.
Looking forward to hear back from you.Please do get back to me asap
because of other things at hand because am always busy and travels
alots.lol. I hope you can give me a maximum massages and a good
escorting service and lots! guess i will enjoy your service! Get back
to me as soon as possible to my email address at
p******j*******@gmail.com. if you know you are interested.



.....Beaut that one pal!

Yes this is one you will get every month or so, from Belfast, from Dublin, from Senegal, from Nigeria............................... the list is endless but the scam is still the same.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 23 July 2012, 11:26:57 pm
I'm so confused what happened to the posts about not replying??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 23 July 2012, 11:35:47 pm
 
Quote from: MissKylie on 23 July 2012, 11:26:57 pm
I'm so confused what happened to the posts about not replying??

Deleted by the mods.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 23 July 2012, 11:36:07 pm
Yeah me too today only slightly different

Hello,
I am Engineer mark Joseph from Australia......little about me.I am
from Tasmania,
but I was raise in South Australia..I take medical check up
seriously with a great personalty.I will need you on my tour to Africa
on the 10th of August and i will be there for 8 days,I will need you to
escort me to Africa in Nigeria republic.just check your ads out and
found you so cool and decided pick you.Please mail me back if you want
to go with me. i am ready to offer you a good sum.Hope 2500 pounds per
day for one week (8days) is that okay? and upfront will be paid to you
even before you leave your state. All necessary document will be
arranged, so feel free to get back to me asap only if you are willing
to go with me.
Look forward to hearing back from you.Please do get back to me asap
because of other things at hand because am always busy and travels
alots.lol. I hope you can give me a maximum massages/ and a good
escorting service and lots! guess i will enjoy your service!
Get back to me as soon as possible

Engineer mark.


I actually responded "look stop sending me and every other girl this..... we know you send it to everyone lol"

strangely Engineer Mark did not respond...

Its beyond bizarre like those spam emails you get though it doesn't make any sense.. perhaps someone should pretend to be interested to see what happens.. It is probably a scam to get money or bank details of you or something odd like that. I dont believe it is escort related apart from they fact they are targeting escorts.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 23 July 2012, 11:39:13 pm
Quote from: casey_kisses on 23 July 2012, 11:35:47 pm

Quote from: MissKylie on 23 July 2012, 11:26:57 pm
I'm so confused what happened to the posts about not replying??

Deleted by the mods.

xx
Am I allowed to ask why? What was wrong with them?x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 23 July 2012, 11:40:25 pm
Just guessing but it was off-topic and probably going nowhere.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 24 July 2012, 10:47:05 am
Here is another version of the scam email.  MODS: Please feel free to move this to a more suitable place if you feel appropriate.  I had a quick look but could not see one.  I dont want newcomers to be duped by these emails and that is why I am showing it.


Dear Friend,

For your kind attention, I will be very glad if you do assist me to relocate a sum of  (US$6,500,000.00Million) to your personal bank account for the benefit of both of us.

This is a genuine business transaction, only that I can not operate it alone without using a Foreigner as required in my bank law, therefore I am contacting you to stand before my bank as the beneficiary next of kin of this fund, that is my reason of contacting you in this manner to assist me actualize this better opportunity, also to share the benefit together with me Insha'Allah.

You will be entitled to have 40% of this fund as a foreign partner, since you will provide a bank account where this money will be transferred to, while 60%will be for me, by indicating your interest on assurance of trust, I will send you the full details and how this business will be executed.

Please keep this proposal as a top secret between both of us because the secret of this transaction is as well as the success of it, and if you are really sure of your integrity, trustworthy and confidentiality reply back to me immediately to prove your integrity, And if you are not interested about this business delete it immediately in your email box.

I will be looking forward for your urgent response. ( dir.samip@rocketmail.com )

My best regards,,
Dir Sami P Adams
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 24 July 2012, 11:04:23 am
Quote from: etherealmelody on 21 July 2012, 07:18:56 am
Quote from: reneesme on 20 July 2012, 10:28:32 pm
well I had a text from a potential booking, after enquiring he said, "can I look up your skirt at your pussy and pull your lips apart for a good look up your hole?" ermmmm no
Hahaha, that's hilarious. I wonder if he's ever seen a real pussy before, because I'm pretty sure it is not a gaping orifice you can see up like a tube.  ::)


He probably comes armed with his very own metal speculum. Weirdo..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 24 July 2012, 11:10:25 am
Quote from: Kristina Bristol Escort on 21 July 2012, 09:59:02 am
This little gem in my inbox today - I am so charmed my bags are packed and I am looking for my wedding dress!!! ;D

Hi my name is thomas.
 
You are sweet andt beatfuld lady with heart to feelings fuld out dear in leif.
 
Like to meet you four funther,leif andt
marrigiet.You mans sweets heart andt dream to lelving with.Will us the best to old time say that with heart andt feelings.Has many thinks to giving you andt us in leif.
 
Ay will be nice,sweet andt good over from you,some say dear.
 
Accept you andt your works,also forward beetween us.
 
Clear to be andt stay your good husbundt so soon you say yes.We has old to wind dearlig beatfuld sweet darling.P.S.Hope soon has a mail from you with your ansher.Good day to you andt your heat.
 
Best rengrats.


 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 24 July 2012, 11:22:08 am
Quote from: xprincesspx on 22 July 2012, 12:29:40 am
Just has this text message come through....

 " PRICE ? "
 

Lol men are idiots sometimes x


At least you have texters of many words, I've had u3? or worse 3? I don't know why but even though I find them annoying I can't help rolling with laughter at the way men expect you to think that contacting you that way is acceptable and warrants some kind of response?   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 24 July 2012, 04:37:33 pm
hey hunni, I want ur ass asap x


Do you really? Tough titties mate!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 24 July 2012, 11:05:57 pm
Got a message saying just this:

'Late opening?'

Amused me greatly  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady c on 24 July 2012, 11:13:58 pm
hello lady c you free in two weeks? it made me laugh.
can anybody add to their best..... ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ana30 on 24 July 2012, 11:42:09 pm
i got one yesterday:

- him: Hi Ana. I have a huge incest fantasy that I need to discuss with someone.
- me:  Find a shrink.
-Him: Sorry I thought you would be open minded enough to discuss it.
- me: I'm not. Finda a shrink.
-him: Ok.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ana30 on 25 July 2012, 12:01:44 am
Another one last week. Some webmaster I've never heard about texts me:

- him: Hi. my name is so and so and I'd like to offer my services for website design and SEO. I charge X and Y.
 -me: cool. let me take a look into your site and I'll think about it. How do you take payments?
- him: Through my bank account. Here's all my bank account info: (the guy sends me ALL HIS BANK ACCOUNT INFO by text)
-me: Er... Dude... you don't know me. I wouldn't reccomend if I were you texting your bank account info to all sex workers...just sayin
- him:why? are you going to hack my bank account?
- me: Er...No, I have no plans. I'm just saying that you shouldn't be texting your bank account details to tons of strangers in the sex industry as part of your "cold texting".
- him: oh. Ok. So I guess that if anything happens to my bank account I will know who did it.
-  me: Sorry but you need to polish your marketing skills big time.

Then he texts me all sorts of insults.

me- have a good day. Bye bye.
him- I will. But are you still interested in my services?
me: I said NO. Bye bye.
him: But I offer all these great deals like x and Y bla bla bla..


(god give me strength)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 25 July 2012, 08:39:55 pm
Text from potential client: How much 4 jst sex.

My reply: Eh what you think I normally do a cirque du soleil act 1st.

Their reply: Kwl much tht be
 
Sarcasm was obviously lost on this idiot
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 25 July 2012, 08:54:00 pm
by heck I've had 'em this week

I answer the fone to this  "hi are you open?"
 I reply " I am not the local spar you know"
 he says "are you open for business?"
me click


then a text oart way through a ping pong session
"how much for half an hour?"
I tell him and he replies "no way that's too dear will you take xxxxx (30 quid lower)?"
I replied "no, do not contact  me unless you are prepared to pay the asking rate"
he is undeterred and replies " xx then? (20 lower) I'm trying to put money in your pocket!"  bless him how thoughtful
I told him "pay me my rate that will put money in my pocket, don't contact me until you will"
and half a dozen texts later to which I didn't respond he finally got the message!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 25 July 2012, 09:25:08 pm
is it target me week??
a little gem I have just received "is your place on a disc parking!!!"
ffs  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: justgee84 on 25 July 2012, 10:31:56 pm
Had another cracker this evening:

Guy: can you come to my hotel in 20min? 2hrs needed.
Me: (being Sheffield - actually asda at the time) which hotel? Might be an hour.
Guy: Travel Lodge
Me: which one?
Guy: sheffield
Me: there's 3, which one?
Guy: are there?
(long silence - lots of giggling)
Me: *click*

20mins later: by text
Guy: sorry I'm a little drunk. Will you suck my kok for ?10?
Me: *delete*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 26 July 2012, 06:19:28 pm
you free about 10pm? caller asks   I said i finish at that time -
can I have a 3 hr booking at 10.pm ?
I said to him no i dont finish at middnight !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 27 July 2012, 01:48:34 pm
Chav: Are you an escort?' In a REALLY chavy voice....

Me: Excuse me? Click!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 27 July 2012, 05:05:37 pm
"Hello,

I'm a away on business staying in a luxury hotel near XX, Im looking for a lady who knows how to pamper and take care of a man, from massages to having a cuddle in bed together.

The most important skill you must have is the ability to drive a man wild in bed."

Another one trying to double-check the bleeding obvious!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 28 July 2012, 07:36:41 am
Hi ! I'm Andy . Can i see you today (Saturday) ? I would like to lick your juicy pussy . No sex . Only to give you good lick . I do not ask you for any other service . Just to stay with your legs open and you can watch tv , its up to you . Can you accept 20? for 10 - 15 min just to let my make you come with my tongue please ? I'm nice man , 33Y old , very clean, manierat, good looking man . Thx! Please accept my offer and i would love to clean your pussy or your ass hole with my tongue .

no thanks mate !!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: justgee84 on 28 July 2012, 08:27:43 am
I was up til stupid-o'clock this morning watching the olympics (I don't work weekends) and I'd forgotten to turn my work phone off.

As I was pulling it out of my bag it was ringing, being half-asleep, I answered it. This is how that convo went:

Me: (sounding rather more sultry than usual) Hello?

Guy: Er, Hi. You awake?

Me: No.

Guy: (sounding confused) Oh, sorry. I'll call back when you're awake.

Made me laugh, bless.

Had a lovely email yesterday which almost makes up for all the numpties out there:

"Hi Hun (it was from a regular),

I've had a horrible week. First it was work changing my shifts so I can't see you, then my car broke down, and now I think my wife is having an affair. I feel awful. I just don't know what I'm going to do if she leaves me. I mean, how could she? I work so hard so she doesn't have to work and then I find out she's bought her young, male friend an expensive watch and has been having "lunch" with him almost every-other day! I don't know how she dare lie to me about her whereabouts, after all we've been through... Women can be such lying, unfaithful little b*tches when they want to be!

Anyway, she thinks I'm off to a conference on wednesday and I was thinking of booking into (a very expensive hotel) and wondered if you'd like to join me for a few hours'? Also, I want you to get yourself a new dress, so I'm gunna drop off ?200 this afternoon to get one. Hopefully thats enough?

Can't wait to see you again darling."

I was rather slack-jaw at his description of women and how he feels about cheating... And he didn't drop the ?200 off!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 29 July 2012, 12:26:00 pm
How could I resist this one ............... quite easily .................


hi babe. i would like 2 know if you would sit on my face and be fucked with man friend when i suffocate under u bb and if so can u send me your number please. thankyou David

Difficult to resist, aint it.


Another one blocked. ROFL.
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littlepeanut on 29 July 2012, 01:48:27 pm
On AW this morning

"I need you now".  Booking request for 2am even though my profile states I finish at 8pm in the tag line  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 29 July 2012, 01:54:15 pm
Did you not know the 'one eyed snake' cannot read when its 'eye' is pointing north or thereabouts. ROFL.



Quote from: littlepeanut on 29 July 2012, 01:48:27 pm
On AW this morning

"I need you now".  Booking request for 2am even though my profile states I finish at 8pm in the tag line  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lili69 on 29 July 2012, 07:33:00 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 29 July 2012, 01:54:15 pm
Did you not know the 'one eyed snake' cannot read when its 'eye' is pointing north or thereabouts. ROFL.

Love it! ;D  PMSL!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 30 July 2012, 09:25:10 pm
Text: "can you call me 2 sort meet"  ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Escort38 on 30 July 2012, 11:27:32 pm
Text received:

"Reply NOW to confirm u can meet me t'nite!"


I love good manners in a man  ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 31 July 2012, 12:08:42 am
Quote from: Escort38 on 30 July 2012, 11:27:32 pm
Text received:

"Reply NOW to confirm u can meet me t'nite!"


I love good manners in a man  ;D

well how is this for manners


mimi2 enters the room
mimi2: hey Friday i wanna organise a meet but would like the right excuse
Friday: excuse?
mimi2: justification
Friday: for what?
mimi2: spending the cash
Friday: well I'll help you
Friday: keep your cash
mimi2: :) thanks hun am 80 quid beter of now
mimi2 leaves the room

 :o

Joke is my minimum is ?100, arsehole couldn't even afford me!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CatsEyes on 31 July 2012, 07:22:24 pm
I will be attending an event on Saturday 4th August, to which I would like you to accompany me, at which we will play a little game - It will be your mission to pull a girl attending this event and get her to come back to the hotel with us for fun, if successful you will receive a bonus payment of ?1,000 :) Think you are up for this?

What in the name of fuck?  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Oriana on 31 July 2012, 07:31:25 pm
Quote from: CatsEyes on 31 July 2012, 07:22:24 pm
What in the name of fuck?  ;D

Find a fellow escort, looking hotter than this girl, play along and split the money!   :D
He should get a fair dose of his own medicine.  8)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 01 August 2012, 12:15:33 pm
I good phone conversation where services prices are discussed.
He rings back.
Is that weird?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JennyJazz87 on 01 August 2012, 01:13:33 pm
Quote from: Oriana on 31 July 2012, 07:31:25 pm
Quote from: CatsEyes on 31 July 2012, 07:22:24 pm
What in the name of fuck?  ;D

Find a fellow escort, looking hotter than this girl, play along and split the money!   :D
He should get a fair dose of his own medicine.  8)

 :D Brilliant Idea!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: justgee84 on 01 August 2012, 01:13:56 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 01 August 2012, 12:15:33 pm

[/li][li]If you can afford ?150, you can afford ?160. If not then you are doing something seriously wrong and should stop seeing Whores and phone Alvin Hall (http://alvinhall.com/) instead.[/list](http://www.bbc.co.uk/coventry/features/student/images/alvin-cash270.jpg)

Oh that did make me giggle! lol!

Well, just been with a client and returned to my phone to find a voicemail waiting:

"Hello lovely, I'm in your area for the next hour and wanted a quickie. But theres isn't a cash machine so can I perhaps pay you next time?"

There are actually three at the end of my road (cash machines) and I've never seen or heard fromt his guy, so doubt there will be a "next time"... *** Presses 3 to delete message ***
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 01 August 2012, 02:36:11 pm
Got this lovely email today:
You're not a size 8, I'd estimate a 12 at least

This must be from john galliano himself...

Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 03 August 2012, 10:03:16 am
Quote from: casey_kisses on 01 August 2012, 02:36:11 pm
Got this lovely email today:
You're not a size 8, I'd estimate a 12 at least

This must be from john galliano himself...

Xx

Seriously, what an idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: belladonnabbw on 03 August 2012, 11:43:18 am
Just got this email (dear lord)

I am from Preston and i would like to spend the afternoon with you from around 1ish till few hours or maybe a full night. . I cant pay in cash as my wife would start asking questions if i withdraw alot of money from our joint account. I can pay by credits on here if you can accept it. Please let me know.

Mmm let me think???...No..silly man.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Green Carnation on 03 August 2012, 12:38:29 pm
I have not been offering incalls this week, and have very very clearly stated that, right at the top of my profile, in Bold BLOCK CAPITALS. ;)  yet, I've had around 20 ( possibly more) emails and texts asking the famous ' whereabouts are you based'..... I don't know what else can I do for the poor guys to make it easier for them to notice..... ;D
Also, i got an email this morning titled 'meeting ASAP'. Ok- why doesn't he ring me instead if he needs ASAP?! Anyway, I sent him an email back- please ring me, will be quicker.
He then starts to text me: 'are you available now?'
Me: 'yes, for an outcall only'
Him: 'how much for half an hour outcall' (he also sent his full postcode) now...he had just read my email, so must have been able to see my rates as well? Or maybe I am too demanding...
Me: 'the price is xyz'
Him: 'ok. What are your services please?'- .............. :FF
Me: 'everything is listed on my profile'
Him: 'excellent. Can you send me your face photo?'
............ NO

Are these guys for real?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 03 August 2012, 05:31:02 pm
Received this yesterday and must confess that I did reply and give him my thoughts on his suggestion when I know I should have really hit the delete button! LOL!

Quote
Good morning,

Hope all is well with you ?

Just thought id drop you a line to see if you have noticed my reverse booking for this afternoon the 2nd August in Burton on trent for you to visit me for an hour, my profile's kelvin19** and had requested 16:30hrs im satying in a city centre hotel its a DE14 postcode

I could also possibly visit you if your easy to get to

I have put a reverse bid price down of ?90.00, look forward to you taking a look at my details and hopefully receiving a bid from you

By the way my names Kelvin

Hope to hear from you soon
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sadie x on 03 August 2012, 05:53:42 pm
rings!:"can i book for a fuck"

i just burst out laughing and put phone down,because i couldnt stop giggleing
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 03 August 2012, 07:37:06 pm
Quote from: sadie x on 03 August 2012, 05:53:42 pm
rings!:"can i book for a fuck"

i just burst out laughing and put phone down,because i couldnt stop giggleing

I once answered the phone and the guy just said "can I have an outcall please" like he was booking a taxi  ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sadie x on 03 August 2012, 10:26:58 pm
Quote from: Friday on 03 August 2012, 07:37:06 pm
Quote from: sadie x on 03 August 2012, 05:53:42 pm
rings!:"can i book for a fuck"

i just burst out laughing and put phone down,because i couldnt stop giggleing

I once answered the phone and the guy just said "can I have an outcall please" like he was booking a taxi  ::)
Bless!x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 04 August 2012, 12:35:51 am
Call i just had...

Him: Hi can you do an Outcall now?
Me: where?
Him: *asks someone else" where abouts
3rd persons answers!!

I promptly hang up  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 04 August 2012, 01:06:51 am
Quote from: Friday on 04 August 2012, 12:35:51 am
Call i just had...

Him: Hi can you do an Outcall now?
Me: where?
Him: *asks someone else" where abouts
3rd persons answers!!

I promptly hang up  ::)


EEK! Lucky escape there!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 04 August 2012, 05:02:00 pm
Quote from: Friday on 04 August 2012, 12:35:51 am
Call i just had...

Him: Hi can you do an Outcall now?
Me: where?
Him: *asks someone else" where abouts
3rd persons answers!!

I promptly hang up  ::)

Christ, that's crazy  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 04 August 2012, 06:56:08 pm
Just had this one on the phone:

(2min into the conversation, I was beginning to lose my patience by that point)
'Doctor': Are you ok with all fetishes?
Me: Well, it depends, what's yours?
'Doctor': I was thinking of the following scenario: I am the doctor, you're the patient, you say you have a sore throat, I look in your throat and you give me a blowjob.
Me: Sounds fun...
'Doctor': Do you still have your tonsils? It's part of my fet..
Me: *puts the phone down*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 04 August 2012, 07:38:28 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 04 August 2012, 06:56:08 pm
Just had this one on the phone:

(2min into the conversation, I was beginning to lose my patience by that point)
'Doctor': Are you ok with all fetishes?
Me: Well, it depends, what's yours?
'Doctor': I was thinking of the following scenario: I am the doctor, you're the patient, you say you have a sore throat, I look in your throat and you give me a blowjob.
Me: Sounds fun...
'Doctor': Do you still have your tonsils? It's part of my fet..
Me: *puts the phone down*
I've had this one several times! Why did you put the phone down on the tonsils bit?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pussycat on 05 August 2012, 12:46:41 am
Just received this delightful email...


hey babe u r sexxy especially ur fat ass.
email me 4 wen ur ready babe, i waana fuck u hard especially ur ass, all night im gonna fuck ur ass lol.
looking forward to ya .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 05 August 2012, 02:45:16 am
Quote from: pussycat on 05 August 2012, 12:46:41 am
Just received this delightful email...


hey babe u r sexxy especially ur fat ass.
email me 4 wen ur ready babe, i waana fuck u hard especially ur ass, all night im gonna fuck ur ass lol.
looking forward to ya .


Oh bet you couldn't get to the email quick enough!!
URGGH disgusting little man!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 05 August 2012, 10:07:11 am
Quote from: MissKylie on 04 August 2012, 07:38:28 pm
I've had this one several times! Why did you put the phone down on the tonsils bit?

I normally don't spend more than 2min talking to people on the phone, unless they talk slowly but sound genuine AND tell me when/what time/how long they want to book. He ignored my questions re the appointment and desperately wanted to discuss his fetishes, also asked about roleplay at the very beginning of the conversation, to which I replied 'I am not massively into that' and he still proceeded to go on about it. Didn't sound like he was serious at all.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 05 August 2012, 02:25:50 pm
Quote from: pussycat on 05 August 2012, 12:46:41 am
Just received this delightful email...


hey babe u r sexxy especially ur fat ass.
email me 4 wen ur ready babe, i waana fuck u hard especially ur ass, all night im gonna fuck ur ass lol.
looking forward to ya .

What an absolute charmer!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: XxAnnaliseXx on 05 August 2012, 04:28:08 pm
Quote from: Adriana on 23 July 2012, 10:33:30 pm
How's a girl to resist this lovely gents offer?  ::)

Hello

I have a mutually beneficial proposal

I can provide rent free accomodation to someone who is willing to help in light household work

Accomodation will be completetely free and you will get 24hr internet

So if you require a place to live then please get in touch

I am 32 yrs old and live with my partner and 2 kids in a very nice 2 bedroom apartment

Thanks

I got this one just after I went to London. Just ignored it, can't see how it's mutually beneficial at all and surely a cleaner rather than an escort is better to do housework!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rainbow24 on 05 August 2012, 11:47:41 pm
Quote from: pandora on 22 July 2012, 06:41:14 pm
Quote from: Rainbow24 on 22 July 2012, 12:44:59 am
My rate is 150/hr...or 70/half hour...


You need to fix your rate. 2 x half hour is 140, so better to book you for two consecutive half hours than an hour.

lol yeah I just noticed I mistyped, I'm 100/half hr not 70 lol  xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rainbow24 on 05 August 2012, 11:51:17 pm
Anyways, I just got this text...
"hi lottie r u open?"
!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 06 August 2012, 08:48:12 am
Open?! What an ass!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vampera on 06 August 2012, 09:18:34 am
I got this Text last Night....

"Hi Girl, I'm a coke dealer and am in your area so if you get any Clients that want some Coke just Text this number....."   :o

WTF!!!!!  I have never and would never do coke in my Life and have a strict "no drugs" policy when it comes to Clients....

What a wanker!!!!  I'm half in mind to go to the Police except I don't want to be mixed up with Drug Dealers....but have saved his number in my Phone so I don't ever accept a Booking with him by mistake!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The Bachelor on 06 August 2012, 09:31:29 am
Quote from: BBW_Sexy_Desires on 06 August 2012, 09:18:34 am
I got this Text last Night....

"Hi Girl, I'm a coke dealer and am in your area so if you get any Clients that want some Coke just Text this number....."   :o

Sad part is, I've had a tiny few clients who ask me if I know anyone who sells. I'm like, I don't mind it if THEY are doing coke (hell, 2 overnights in my career have been from clients so high on coke they just easily shell out $700 or $800 and the next morning they let you go home, or in one case, I went home $800 richer that same night!). There's also been numerous other situations where client has proven more than generous during a bout of coke.

I don't really like trying to find that stuff, but if they can supply it's all well and dandy. By the way, I NEVER touch it. EVER. I don't even let them pressure me into trying it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 06 August 2012, 01:58:23 pm
Was running a few minutes lateas builders had not left so texted client 30mins to time to say so.

To which he replied "Which escort are you?"

I sent one back "The one you booked at 1.30!".  Now knowing he wasn't turning up.

The reply by text"ha ha ha, I booked three I am really randy, lol".

Hopefully he won't get to see anyone.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pussycat on 06 August 2012, 03:27:32 pm
I'm getting a lot of charmers this week, just got this text...

Hallo! I would like to shag you at 5pm?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 06 August 2012, 04:58:24 pm
"hi. Intersteing profile you intirgue me. I am 38 to busnesd man v bored and looking for a naughty young girl to at with. Very in to teacher school girl roleplay spanking and tie up.

I pass your area fairly offer. Will tomorrow lunchine intact if your free to play? I'd have called you but the wives home so can't speak. I'd like to get to know you a bit before we meet. Its slit more fun. Interested? Xxxxx"




 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CatsEyes on 06 August 2012, 06:59:04 pm
Just got this exchange of texts -

"Booking?"

"Booking what?"

"Is this (my name)?"

"Yes"

"Hi there I'm john I'm looking for booking to relieve my stress" (well you could have just said that to start with idiot!)  ::)

"Ok great I'm available on Friday?"

"Is that earliest? also what does your adult service consist of? is there a price difference between  adult service and non adult service?" (what the f***?)

"all info is on www.mywebsite.com"

"ok thanks nice to see a pic of you at last. what adult service do you offer is it just whats on website? is a booking just looking at you naked available?"

 ::)   ::)    ::)

"Only what is on website is on offer. If you are looking for anything sexual in nature (including nude) as opposed to my social rates the full fee applies"

"I'm very respectful of all ladies wishes not just ladies in your profession so no worries there. (hahahaha that's why you've repeatedly pushed even though I've told you?) Is Friday earliest you can do (again)? How much for nude and nothing else?"

I just ignore. Which is what I should have done ages ago   :FF and what I'm thinking of doing to anyone who sounds remotely annoying.

then I get ...

"I see you don't offer anal is this correct?" (no it's just written for fun!)

aaaaaaaaargggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 06 August 2012, 07:23:50 pm
But he just wanted to look at you naked...why did it matter you don't do anal!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 07 August 2012, 12:12:41 am
Freeview chat


activeboy22: hi bb
Friday: Hi there
activeboy22: escort?
Friday: escort yes
activeboy22: ok can you take panties on you and stand up a moment?
Friday: that makes no sense but the answer is no
activeboy22: i want to see your body
Friday: pics on profile
activeboy22: in profile pictures you are different
activeboy22: you are more fat at face.....
activeboy22: here you are more ok
activeboy22 leaves the room... by Leave it means KICKED OUT FOR LIFE!!  :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 07 August 2012, 11:32:14 pm
OOOH....Idiot (school hols?!) week for me ....! (and deleting NOW)

ALL different senders, received the last few days....!


email
SUBJECT: bbe
CONTENT: heyy


email
SUBJECT: sexx
CONTENT: let me no wen ur redy 4 it bbe


email
SUBJECT: plz fone me!
CONTENT: I LOVE YOU!


email
SUBJECT: hairy ?
CONTENT: your not that hairy


email
SUBJECT: phone
CONTENT: number


email
SUBJECT: fetish
CONTENT: how deep is your're bellybutton?


email
SUBJECT: meet
CONTENT: want ur pussy in my mouth call me wen ur free,i will lick ur til ur juicy puss pises in my mouth wid cum,if u tell me were u live i will be round tmrw


email
SUBJECT: hello
CONTENT: hey bbe jus saying hello
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 08 August 2012, 12:30:44 am
Text received a minute ago:

"I recognise the day is drawing to a close, and your profile is explicit about not replying to text, but rather than risk waking you I wonder if you have an appetite for entertainment tonight?"


I mention my working hours (11am-8pm) on the profile, in bold, *several times*.

He read the disclaimer re my aversion to text messaging, but texted me regardless  ???

It really annoys me when they acknowledge they have seen the (massive, bold, underlined) opening sentence of the profile and then make excuses, my personal favourite has got to be "I know you don't reply to text messages, but am in a meeting right now and can't call", at least 5 of those received every day!



 




Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 08 August 2012, 12:40:05 am
Quote from: pandora on 06 August 2012, 01:58:23 pm

The reply by text"ha ha ha, I booked three I am really randy, lol".

I had a similar one the other day, blacklisted him straight away, then a few hours later, lo and behold 4 missed calls from 'multiple.book.wanker'. No joy with the other lady then? :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 08 August 2012, 01:00:51 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 07 August 2012, 11:32:14 pm
OOOH....Idiot (school hols?!) week for me ....! (and deleting NOW)

ALL different senders, received the last few days....!


email
SUBJECT: bbe
CONTENT: heyy


email
SUBJECT: sexx
CONTENT: let me no wen ur redy 4 it bbe


email
SUBJECT: plz fone me!
CONTENT: I LOVE YOU!


email
SUBJECT: hairy ?
CONTENT: your not that hairy


email
SUBJECT: phone
CONTENT: number


email
SUBJECT: fetish
CONTENT: how deep is your're bellybutton?


email
SUBJECT: meet
CONTENT: want ur pussy in my mouth call me wen ur free,i will lick ur til ur juicy puss pises in my mouth wid cum,if u tell me were u live i will be round tmrw


email
SUBJECT: hello
CONTENT: hey bbe jus saying hello
Oh my fucking god! I really hope you set him straight and blocked him!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 08 August 2012, 03:13:22 pm
Quote from: MissKylie on 08 August 2012, 01:00:51 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 07 August 2012, 11:32:14 pm
OOOH....Idiot (school hols?!) week for me ....! (and deleting NOW)

ALL different senders, received the last few days....!


email
SUBJECT: bbe
CONTENT: heyy


email
SUBJECT: sexx
CONTENT: let me no wen ur redy 4 it bbe


email
SUBJECT: plz fone me!
CONTENT: I LOVE YOU!


email
SUBJECT: hairy ?
CONTENT: your not that hairy


email
SUBJECT: phone
CONTENT: number


email
SUBJECT: fetish
CONTENT: how deep is your're bellybutton?


email
SUBJECT: meet
CONTENT: want ur pussy in my mouth call me wen ur free,i will lick ur til ur juicy puss pises in my mouth wid cum,if u tell me were u live i will be round tmrw


email
SUBJECT: hello
CONTENT: hey bbe jus saying hello
Oh my fucking god! I really hope you set him straight and blocked him!

They were all from different people!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 08 August 2012, 04:18:58 pm
Text from potential client:
Client- Available?
Me- Who is this?
Client- Think I have wrong person.
Me- Who you looking for.
Client- Can't say.
Me- Well how do you know you have wrong person?, whats the first two letters of their name?
Client: Cant remember
Me: Was it **********?
Client:Yes
Me: Ok thats me
Client: Whats youngest you will see?
Me: What age are you?
Client: Dont want to say?
ALARM BELLS ARE NOW RINGING.
Me: Well how do I know wether or not I would see you.
Client: 15
Me: Sorry Im not a bloody paedo.
Client: I wont tell anyone.
Me: Im not breaking the law.
Client: Prostitutions illegal anyway.
Me: Escortings legal actually.
Client: Oh sorry.
BLOCKED
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 08 August 2012, 04:35:45 pm
Voicemail from potential client: Hi can you come to Kilmarnock 4pm tomorrow, can pay ?30 for an hour ( laughter in background). IGNORED & BLOCKED.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: justgee84 on 09 August 2012, 10:54:38 am
Quote from: ilovedots on 06 August 2012, 04:58:24 pm
"hi. Intersteing profile you intirgue me. I am 38 to busnesd man v bored and looking for a naughty young girl to at with. Very in to teacher school girl roleplay spanking and tie up.

I pass your area fairly offer. Will tomorrow lunchine intact if your free to play? I'd have called you but the wives home so can't speak. I'd like to get to know you a bit before we meet. Its slit more fun. Interested? Xxxxx"

What the be-jesus?!?

Gotta love the text-speak/online translation/poor grammer.... Lost count how many emails/texts I get that make no sense, AT ALL... Probably really nice blokes and the odd spelling mistake/etc is ok... But when you get random words (sometimes not even full words, just random sounds!) it kinda puts you off....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: figa98 on 09 August 2012, 11:42:37 am
Keeping receiving one from a guy he justs texts his name and full address and time lol,nothing else,does it every week!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Escort38 on 09 August 2012, 06:45:33 pm
Today:

Him
Can I see you this afternoon?

ME
I think so, any particular time to suit you?

Him
I have to get rid of the girlfriend first.

ME
Sorry I can't help you.

Then I said goodbye and cut him off. Ok I know we see guys who have girlfriends and wives and
they have to juggle their time and try to get away etc but this guy just had no diplomacy or style
at all.  There was just no need to mention getting rid of the gf but because he did it just made me
think he was either a timewaster or just a nob.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 09 August 2012, 07:52:04 pm
Quote from: Escort38 on 09 August 2012, 06:45:33 pm
Today:

Him
Can I see you this afternoon?

ME
I think so, any particular time to suit you?

Him
I have to get rid of the girlfriend first.

ME
Sorry I can't help you.

Then I said goodbye and cut him off. Ok I know we see guys who have girlfriends and wives and
they have to juggle their time and try to get away etc but this guy just had no diplomacy or style
at all.  There was just no need to mention getting rid of the gf but because he did it just made me
think he was either a timewaster or just a nob.

Bless you hun.  Good on ya. I'd of done the same thing actually.  The potential money kind of loses it value when it comes from someone so mean.  I would of found it difficult to be nice to him throughout the service too.  I once had a bloke ring me up and he was battling with his conscience and he asked for my advice.  He said it was his stag night and should he have one last fling!  I was like, honestly don't do it! xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 09 August 2012, 09:26:32 pm
I think the school boys are out in force this week:-)

Hi Miss

Im a 25 year old lad looking for some experience with a mature women (I
prefer mature women)

I want you to be my sex tutor or my mummy, I believe these lessons take a
while and the more lessons the better.

I have erections quite a lot and am always hard in the morning. I also
masturbate alot to porn. but want someone to teach me sex and be more
confident.

Hold me by the hand, take me up too your room. Teach me how to take your
clothes off, including your bra and knickers...teach me how to suck your
tits and play with them making sure I do it correctly.

You can give me oral and show me how women should give oral sex.

Teach me how to use my penis on you, show me how to have
intercourse..making sure I push it in good and correctly making you moan
and groan in pleasure.

We can try lots of positions, teach me them (my favourite is doggy, having
you bent of the table or desk and me holding you by the hips and doing you
from behind)

Please Miss, teach me how to fuck that pussy reall good just the way it
should be done! Help me I need the experience?

Looking forward to your reply.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Bet you are! LOL You're gonna have a long wait!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 09 August 2012, 10:35:38 pm
Hi Miss



I want you to be my sex tutor or my mummy, I believe these lessons take a while and the more lessons the better.

I have erections quite a lot and am always hard in the morning. I also masturbate alot to porn. but want someone to teach me sex and be more confident.

Hold me by the hand, take me up too your room. Teach me how to take your clothes off, including your bra and knickers...teach me how to suck your tits and play with them making sure I do it correctly.

You can give me oral and show me how women should give oral sex.

Teach me how to use my penis on you, show me how to have intercourse..making sure I push it in good and correctly making you moan and groan in pleasure.



Please Miss, teach me how to fuck that pussy reall good just the way it should be done! Help me I need the experience?

Looking forward to your reply.

he was blocked whilst waiting for his reply  !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 10 August 2012, 12:27:28 am
" oh hi there, sorry to bother you but are you open?"

not the first time this has been said to me, why oh why do men ask that?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vampera on 10 August 2012, 08:13:03 am
Quote from: Coty on 09 August 2012, 09:26:32 pm
I think the school boys are out in force this week:-)

Hi Miss

Im a 25 year old lad looking for some experience with a mature women (I
prefer mature women)

I want you to be my sex tutor or my mummy, I believe these lessons take a
while and the more lessons the better.

I have erections quite a lot and am always hard in the morning. I also
masturbate alot to porn. but want someone to teach me sex and be more
confident.

Hold me by the hand, take me up too your room. Teach me how to take your
clothes off, including your bra and knickers...teach me how to suck your
tits and play with them making sure I do it correctly.

You can give me oral and show me how women should give oral sex.

Teach me how to use my penis on you, show me how to have
intercourse..making sure I push it in good and correctly making you moan
and groan in pleasure.

We can try lots of positions, teach me them (my favourite is doggy, having
you bent of the table or desk and me holding you by the hips and doing you
from behind)

Please Miss, teach me how to fuck that pussy reall good just the way it
should be done! Help me I need the experience?

Looking forward to your reply.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Bet you are! LOL You're gonna have a long wait!!

I had the exact same Email Coty!!  I've had him before.....I felt like replying "Well you clearly haven't read my Profile" and "Go and grow up"....but I didn't.....I couldn't be bothered to dignify his crappy Email with a Reply....

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vampera on 10 August 2012, 08:15:18 am
Quote from: reneesme on 10 August 2012, 12:27:28 am
" oh hi there, sorry to bother you but are you open?"

not the first time this has been said to me, why oh why do men ask that?

I often have Guys asking me this on the Phone....my usual response is "Well my legs are open but I'm not a brothel so I don't have opening hours!!"....they usually laugh at that, rather nervously...LoL....

But yes, it annoys me too....Why oh why dont guys read our Profiles and realise that I'm an Independent Escort and don't have "opening hours".... :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 10 August 2012, 08:59:14 am
Get a callfor a booking on Saturday evening and I asked him what time he wanted.

"Well me and my mate are going for a few beers then we wanna come round and HAVE A GO ON a mature woman".

I think not.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CatsEyes on 10 August 2012, 12:13:51 pm
Quote from: pandora on 10 August 2012, 08:59:14 am
Get a callfor a booking on Saturday evening and I asked him what time he wanted.

"Well me and my mate are going for a few beers then we wanna come round and HAVE A GO ON a mature woman".

I think not.

 :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 10 August 2012, 01:06:41 pm
Quote from: pandora on 10 August 2012, 08:59:14 am
Get a callfor a booking on Saturday evening and I asked him what time he wanted.

"Well me and my mate are going for a few beers then we wanna come round and HAVE A GO ON a mature woman".

I think not.
Definitely not breast feed!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 10 August 2012, 01:31:50 pm
Text:   Anychance of a blowjob for twenty euro? 
         
          Send from my HTC

 Tight ass has smartphone but wants dirt cheap ::)

Text: Will you do 15 min
   
Text: Hi A.... i will visit you in L......  .can you text me a picture of your pussy ;D

         Yeah,I have nothing better to do Wanker ::)

         



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 10 August 2012, 02:53:40 pm
This morning...

Text knob: hi amy wud u do bear bk?
Me: I don't understand. Are you a bear?
Text knob: no I am sterilized and clean also
Me: Fuck off

I wasn't in the mood for eloquence. What a tit.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 10 August 2012, 03:43:18 pm
Quote from: amy on 10 August 2012, 02:53:40 pm
This morning...

Text knob: hi amy wud u do bear bk?
Me: I don't understand. Are you a bear?
Text knob: no I am sterilized and clean also
Me: Fuck off

I wasn't in the mood for eloquence. What a tit.

But at least you got another thing to post on this thread! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 11 August 2012, 10:52:51 am
Early morning idiot calls 6 bloody 30 in the morning. Normally I am up, but today not feeling so frisky. He wants to chat! The abuse I hurled down the phone, will prevent him from doing that shit again anytime soon.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Escort38 on 11 August 2012, 11:50:34 am
by text - "u wrkn?"

Naturally I replied with an in depth description of all my services and told him
I am hot and horny and have juicy big tits, not forgetting my availability to suit him
and telling him I was sitting waiting for his booking and could not wait to ravish him.

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lexi on 11 August 2012, 09:05:34 pm
Hahahah Escort38 you literally made me laugh out loud at that! I bet he was expecting that response as well ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 12 August 2012, 02:29:47 pm
Does this guy think I am Hercules?

Hi, I am looking to meet someone fairly local to me, who would be willing to help me with a fantasy of mine. I wish to be treated like a bra or panty. You would wear me instead of a bra or panty. I would be underneath your outer clothing. If you would wear me while doing something else it would be even better. Im not worried what you do it can be anything you like. I would also like to suck your breasts while Im with you. If our meet goes well I would like to meet again for more of the same and maybe you can wash me with your other underwear. Maybe you could keep me in your drawer with the other bras or panties sometime too.

If you are willing to try the above please let me know and I will arrange to visit you in the next week or so.

Thanks for your time, I hope to hear from you.

I would have to go out & buy a smock! :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 12 August 2012, 04:00:58 pm
Quote from: natasha on 12 August 2012, 02:29:47 pm
Does this guy think I am Hercules?
Or he thinks you are a giant amazon goddess. Lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 12 August 2012, 05:05:10 pm
Does 5'8" qualify as an Amazon  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 12 August 2012, 07:04:45 pm
Quote from: natasha on 12 August 2012, 05:05:10 pm
Does 5'8" qualify as an Amazon  ???
Not the last time I checked. I mean seriously has he thought this fantasy through? For you to have a 12st man tucked in your underwear drawer. This has had me chuckling for a while now. LOL!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lili69 on 12 August 2012, 07:46:10 pm
Quote from: VioletteUK on 12 August 2012, 07:04:45 pm
Quote from: natasha on 12 August 2012, 05:05:10 pm
Does 5'8" qualify as an Amazon  ???
Not the last time I checked. I mean seriously has he thought this fantasy through? For you to have a 12st man tucked in your underwear drawer. This has had me chuckling for a while now. LOL!
OMG - ROLF!  Wash him with your underwear?!!!  How is he going to fit in the washing machine? 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: justgee84 on 12 August 2012, 08:16:51 pm
Quote from: lili69 on 12 August 2012, 07:46:10 pm
Quote from: VioletteUK on 12 August 2012, 07:04:45 pm
Quote from: natasha on 12 August 2012, 05:05:10 pm
Does 5'8" qualify as an Amazon  ???
Not the last time I checked. I mean seriously has he thought this fantasy through? For you to have a 12st man tucked in your underwear drawer. This has had me chuckling for a while now. LOL!
OMG - ROLF!  Wash him with your underwear?!!!  How is he going to fit in the washing machine?

Maybe he's a very small dwarf??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vampera on 12 August 2012, 08:38:44 pm
Just had this as an unsolicited first Email:

"mmmmm ur soooo hot n sexy oh yh xxxx"

Ummm, well that's very nice but what am I supposed to reply with.....I mean, does he want a Booking?  Or is he just telling me I'm sexy so that I might fall at his feet and worship him for free?   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 12 August 2012, 08:43:55 pm
Quote from: justgee84 on 12 August 2012, 08:16:51 pm
Quote from: lili69 on 12 August 2012, 07:46:10 pm
Quote from: VioletteUK on 12 August 2012, 07:04:45 pm
Quote from: natasha on 12 August 2012, 05:05:10 pm
Does 5'8" qualify as an Amazon  ???
Not the last time I checked. I mean seriously has he thought this fantasy through? For you to have a 12st man tucked in your underwear drawer. This has had me chuckling for a while now. LOL!
OMG - ROLF!  Wash him with your underwear?!!!  How is he going to fit in the washing machine?

Maybe he's a very small dwarf??
She is going to hand wash him, them with a mild detergent. LOL!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: natasha on 12 August 2012, 10:55:27 pm
"You would wear me instead of a bra or panty. I would be underneath your outer clothing. If you would wear me while doing something else"

Such as shopping  ???
Or collapsed on the floor, struggling to get up?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 13 August 2012, 12:03:05 am
Quote from: natasha on 12 August 2012, 10:55:27 pm
"You would wear me instead of a bra or panty. I would be underneath your outer clothing. If you would wear me while doing something else"

Such as shopping  ???
Or collapsed on the floor, struggling to get up?
Comedy routines have been written from less material. Lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Minnie on 13 August 2012, 02:50:02 pm
Just had one.....

Was hopeful that we could come to some sort of discount agreement.  You see, I'm an energy salesman and I could save you a small fortune on your monthly bills.  I could give you an amazing deal for dual fuel that you won't find anywhere else.  Surely one good deed (discount) deserves another??

I kindly refused......if he could get me free hotel rooms for life however!!!!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 13 August 2012, 06:58:11 pm
I had one ages ago that didn't pay for sexual services anymore he traded them for odd jobs around the house!!
he said "I will do all your odd jobs in exchange for an hour of your escorting - even if it takes me longer than an hour to do them!"

I said " I will exchange an hour of my escorting for x pounds " ;D   oddly enough he didn't take me up on my offer  ::) lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 14 August 2012, 10:00:11 am
Quote from: reneesme on 13 August 2012, 06:58:11 pm
I had one ages ago that didn't pay for sexual services anymore he traded them for odd jobs around the house!!
he said "I will do all your odd jobs in exchange for an hour of your escorting - even if it takes me longer than an hour to do them!"

I said " I will exchange an hour of my escorting for x pounds " ;D   oddly enough he didn't take me up on my offer  ::) lol

Good god  ::) :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: justgee84 on 14 August 2012, 11:00:29 am
Thought I was doing well....

Text: Hi I know you're not available for incalls today, but can't you squeeze me in?
Me: Nope, Incalls tomorrow only from 1pm or outcalls from 6pm this evening.
Eejit: I only want 30min???
Me: That's fine, tomorrow from 1
Eejit: And what about today? Can I come round at 12?
Me: *delete*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sarahyorks on 14 August 2012, 04:00:24 pm
Quote from: justgee84 on 14 August 2012, 11:00:29 am
Thought I was doing well....

Text: Hi I know you're not available for incalls today, but can't you squeeze me in?
Me: Nope, Incalls tomorrow only from 1pm or outcalls from 6pm this evening.
Eejit: I only want 30min???
Me: That's fine, tomorrow from 1
Eejit: And what about today? Can I come round at 12?
Me: *delete*

As I don't do incalls every day I get this all the time, infuriating isnt it?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Panda on 14 August 2012, 06:02:00 pm
Omg some guys are such idiots ... this guy has been talking to me back and forth and i told him i was on hoilday atm so im using my phone to check online ins and outs not to be rude to people and leave them hanging for a reply for a week till im back and i dont have to come on to aw and reply to msgs as im not even about for work it even clearly has over my profile im on hoildaybut im not harsh n meab like that but because i didnt reply to him within a few seconds i got another msg off him going 'doesnt bother now you are fake' so 5 mins before he was prepaired to book me when im back and because i dont reply within a min or two im fake? Wtf some guys really dont think before they talk do they???
Panda -x-
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 14 August 2012, 08:59:54 pm
Quote from: BBW_Sexy_Desires on 06 August 2012, 09:18:34 am
"Hi Girl, I'm a coke dealer and am in your area so if you get any Clients that want some Coke just Text this number....."
I text them the number of my apparent dealer...
which happens to be the main distribution number for Coca-Cola UK!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 14 August 2012, 10:48:10 pm
Quote from: natasha on 12 August 2012, 02:29:47 pm
Maybe you could keep me in your drawer with the other bras or panties sometime too.

What a lunatic  :D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 14 August 2012, 11:40:13 pm
they are out in force tonight
Him " hiya, how are you?"
me " hi Im good thanks, how can I help you?"
Him " so what's your address and I'll pop round"
me " I am sorry but I have finished for the night"
Him and this is brilliant " ARE YOU SURE?"
DEAR LORD.............
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 15 August 2012, 10:58:18 am
Text we received at 2:15AM a few nights ago:

"Cud u cum to [town outside our outcall range] for an hour for 100 quid? X"

Hmm, sure sounds tempting to drag ourselves over 20 miles at 2AM for less than our incall fee...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sarahyorks on 15 August 2012, 11:30:55 am
'I am genuine and I will show up, honest!' from a guy with no feedback, and linked and admitted from a profile from a known timewaster
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: improbablecats on 15 August 2012, 12:55:07 pm
Idiot: (at 7.30pm) Hi, I want an outcall right now to X.

Me: Hi, I'm only available until 6 and I don't do outcalls to private residences. Also I don't take same-day bookings so you'll need to give me a day's notice.

Idiot: Okay.

Idiot: (at 3am) What about an outcall now?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: improbablecats on 15 August 2012, 12:57:00 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 14 August 2012, 08:59:54 pm
Quote from: BBW_Sexy_Desires on 06 August 2012, 09:18:34 am
"Hi Girl, I'm a coke dealer and am in your area so if you get any Clients that want some Coke just Text this number....."
I just say that I'm a serving police officer with access to the evidence locker
and as such I get a selection of drugs for free.

I also ask if there are any outstanding warrants against him... ;D

Jodie, I love you.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 15 August 2012, 05:01:29 pm
Text just received: "Yo..x"  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 15 August 2012, 05:29:17 pm
Quote from: DianaMurphy on 15 August 2012, 05:01:29 pm
Text just received: "Yo..x"  :FF

LOL I'd text back saying 'yea, blud?!'

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 15 August 2012, 05:34:21 pm
Quote from: casey_kisses on 15 August 2012, 05:29:17 pm
Quote from: DianaMurphy on 15 August 2012, 05:01:29 pm
Text just received: "Yo..x"  :FF

LOL I'd text back saying 'yea, blud?!'

xx

I was bored and did reply! LOL! I got a reply of "who's that?" Delete!!! I've just been updating directory listings etc so they'll be a heap more to come along those lines yet!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 15 August 2012, 05:57:26 pm
 My favourite text today:

"I have a hard cock, will you stand on it.. no sex..x how much."

And a phonecall from a guy who sounded extremely erm... drunk:

Phone rings, I answer

Me: hello

Him: I want details

Me: What would you like to know?

Him: How much and what do you do?

Me: Please read my page again.

Him: The internet isn't working.

Me: Ok, what services would you like to receive then?

Him: (shouting) I'm asking you! What do you do and how much?!!!!

Me: *puts the phone down*

 ::)

I am not patient these days...

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sarahyorks on 15 August 2012, 06:03:34 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 15 August 2012, 05:57:26 pm

I am not patient these days...

LMAO, neither am I
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 15 August 2012, 06:26:13 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 15 August 2012, 05:57:26 pm
My favourite text today:

"I have a hard cock, will you stand on it.. no sex..x how much."

And a phonecall from a guy who sounded extremely erm... drunk:

Phone rings, I answer

Me: hello

Him: I want details

Me: What would you like to know?

Him: How much and what do you do?

Me: Please read my page again.

Him: The internet isn't working.

Me: Ok, what services would you like to receive then?

Him: (shouting) I'm asking you! What do you do and how much?!!!!

Me: *puts the phone down*

 ::)

I am not patient these days...
You lasted longer than me. I would have told him to f off, after the rude request for details.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 15 August 2012, 08:52:40 pm
Quote from: VioletteUK on 15 August 2012, 06:26:13 pm
You lasted longer than me. I would have told him to f off, after the rude request for details.

After reading a thread about myself on a punter forum, where a bunch of poor sods complained that I put the phone down on them all the time, I am trying to show a bit more patience, but it ain't easy, I must say  ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 15 August 2012, 09:04:25 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 15 August 2012, 08:52:40 pm
Quote from: VioletteUK on 15 August 2012, 06:26:13 pm
You lasted longer than me. I would have told him to f off, after the rude request for details.

After reading a thread about myself on a punter forum, where a bunch of poor sods complained that I put the phone down on them all the time, I am trying to show a bit more patience, but it ain't easy, I must say  ;D



Well that's easily fixable... don't read the punter forums  ;)

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sarahyorks on 15 August 2012, 09:51:00 pm
Quote from: casey_kisses on 15 August 2012, 09:04:25 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 15 August 2012, 08:52:40 pm
Quote from: VioletteUK on 15 August 2012, 06:26:13 pm
You lasted longer than me. I would have told him to f off, after the rude request for details.

After reading a thread about myself on a punter forum, where a bunch of poor sods complained that I put the phone down on them all the time, I am trying to show a bit more patience, but it ain't easy, I must say  ;D



Well that's easily fixable... don't read the punter forums  ;)

xx



I got myself into such a tizz over a negative post on a punter forum once, the guy was a dick during the whole meet to the point I asked him to leave. I've had clients since then say they've read the forum post and say you can tell that guy was a wanker! LOL!

Punter forums are more hassle than its worth I think.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: justgee84 on 16 August 2012, 08:09:50 am
Yeah I've got a negative review for being "hard to get hold of" even though the guy in question was always trying to call me at 2am and then I had my work phone stolen and put a notification up on all my profiles on different sites etc, guess regulars don't bother going back to AW after they've met a few times.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 16 August 2012, 08:19:06 am
Text at 11pm last night

'Would you like a booking with me tonight?'

errr love you are the one that wants a booking with me not the other way round!

Doh!

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 16 August 2012, 12:31:19 pm
I have seen plenty of bitchy comments online made by punters who never actually got to meet me, they make me laugh, if anything. Plus the best one ever, a 1200-word rant posted by a guy who complained that I was "weird" and didn't bother shaving my pubes, which is hysterical, because I have ALWAYS advertised as natural=unshaven! I don't take them seriously anymore.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 16 August 2012, 12:46:36 pm
Quote from: casey_kisses on 16 August 2012, 08:19:06 am
Text at 11pm last night

'Would you like a booking with me tonight?'

errr love you are the one that wants a booking with me not the other way round!

Doh!

xx

I had an email at seventeen minutes past midnight a week or so ago (which I saw the following morning) asking if I was 'working tonight'. Even if there are people who would have taken this, why on earth would you email (my ads do ask people to email rather than ring, but I somehow doubt the sender had read my ads)? I didn't have any missed calls, so it's not as if he'd tried.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 16 August 2012, 01:21:46 pm
Quote from: amy on 16 August 2012, 12:46:36 pm
Quote from: casey_kisses on 16 August 2012, 08:19:06 am
Text at 11pm last night

'Would you like a booking with me tonight?'

errr love you are the one that wants a booking with me not the other way round!

Doh!

xx

I had an email at seventeen minutes past midnight a week or so ago (which I saw the following morning) asking if I was 'working tonight'. Even if there are people who would have taken this, why on earth would you email (my ads do ask people to email rather than ring, but I somehow doubt the sender had read my ads)? I didn't have any missed calls, so it's not as if he'd tried.

The first sentence on my profile is "PLEASE NOTE: I do not reply to text messages", I also make it clear that my availability is Mon-Fri, 11am-8pm. I received a text this morning: "are you free on Sunday at 9pm?"   >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 16 August 2012, 08:02:32 pm
I love this thread so much- just going through my phone to find some delightful texts to share:

Him: Do you mind me saying I think you are stunning!
Me: Thank you
Him:Its my pleasure hun I find you incredibly attractive I admire a lady that takes pride her appearance and of you callibre. xxx
Me: IGNORE
Him: I would be proud to have you at my side as your partner I would love you like a queen and to worship you like a goddess xxx
Me: Still Ignoring...
Him: I was hoping we could be mates hang out and have a laugh
Me: Sorry no, I have a boyfriend and plenty of mates.

****

Him: Part 1 of thi bbw number UK little word in English he would meet with thee if it is possible write mi streets poscod
Me: (in head) WTF?!
Him Are available today
He then sends this text 5 times in an hour.

****
Him: I like u big gril wat u name

****

As well as receiving many missed calls made between 2am-5am I get a text saying 'Please wake up'

****

And finally today-

Him: I have a really bad cough but I feel OK, can I come and see you?
Me: No, I'd rather not have your germs
Him: I'm not contagious I swear. Just coughing my lungs up! lol lol
Me: Really, it's OK, you can keep your lungs to yourself.

I suppose at least he asked in advance and didn't just show up with a nasty cough, but really, would anyone accept this?!


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 16 August 2012, 08:33:40 pm
H.G.   Hi A, Edward G. here.Just wondering what kind of sex are you good at.Text back with your
          answer.Thank you

Me:    Ignored

H.G.   Hi Gina T. Edward G. here.Just wondering what kind of sex you are good at.Text me back with
          your answer

Me:    Yeah right make up your mind who you're texting to

HG.    I am so sorry.I just want to know what kind of a woman you look like

 
1+ to blacklist
                 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Foxing on 16 August 2012, 11:09:45 pm
The ones who tell you how you should run your business because it doesn't fit with what they're demanding.

Pricks  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 17 August 2012, 09:53:35 am
I hate when clients flash call me, expecting I will call them back. Put credit on your phone! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Panda on 17 August 2012, 11:04:25 am
Ok this was my lovely conversation with a guy about 5mins ago.
Him : what do you charge for 30mins
(no hi or anything)
Me : heya, well for 30mins i charge ?100, panda -x-
Him : oh thats way too much most girls in your area charge at least half that, would you do 30mins for ?40?
Me : no sorry, i do 30mins at ?100 and 15mins at ?60 it that is any help to you :) panda -x-
Him : ok what about ?60 for 30 mins and i come and pick you up at your home and take you back?
Me : no sorry sir, prices are what they are marked :) panda -x-
Him : are you sure?
Him : how about ?100 for 30mins and ot will be you, me and 2 of my friends x
Me : im sure and sorry but i dont do groups :) panda -x-
... deleted ...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 17 August 2012, 11:10:36 am
Quote from: Panda on 17 August 2012, 11:04:25 am
Ok this was my lovely conversation with a guy about 5mins ago.
Him : what do you charge for 30mins
(no hi or anything)
Me : heya, well for 30mins i charge ?100, panda -x-
Him : oh thats way too much most girls in your area charge at least half that, would you do 30mins for ?40?
Me : no sorry, i do 30mins at ?100 and 15mins at ?60 it that is any help to you :) panda -x-
Him : ok what about ?60 for 30 mins and i come and pick you up at your home and take you back?
Me : no sorry sir, prices are what they are marked :) panda -x-
Him : are you sure?
Him : how about ?100 for 30mins and ot will be you, me and 2 of my friends x
Me : im sure and sorry but i dont do groups :) panda -x-
... deleted ...


Classic Boundary Pusher!

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Panda on 17 August 2012, 11:25:34 am
Quote from: casey_kisses on 17 August 2012, 11:10:36 am
Quote from: Panda on 17 August 2012, 11:04:25 am
Ok this was my lovely conversation with a guy about 5mins ago.
Him : what do you charge for 30mins
(no hi or anything)
Me : heya, well for 30mins i charge ?100, panda -x-
Him : oh thats way too much most girls in your area charge at least half that, would you do 30mins for ?40?
Me : no sorry, i do 30mins at ?100 and 15mins at ?60 it that is any help to you :) panda -x-
Him : ok what about ?60 for 30 mins and i come and pick you up at your home and take you back?
Me : no sorry sir, prices are what they are marked :) panda -x-
Him : are you sure?
Him : how about ?100 for 30mins and ot will be you, me and 2 of my friends x
Me : im sure and sorry but i dont do groups :) panda -x-
... deleted ...


Classic Boundary Pusher!

xx

I know right? I was like  ::) like im going to do a group for the price of one guy that you wont even pay ... yeah right o.o
panda -x-
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 17 August 2012, 01:27:45 pm
Quote from: MinxyLydia on 16 August 2012, 08:02:32 pm

Him: I like u big gril wat u name



He's contacted me before. You'd think he'd learnt how to spell "girl" by now...or maybe he DOES mean "grill", and wants you to cook for him...?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 17 August 2012, 07:47:23 pm
Why do Friday night texters always seem so incoherent?

Just got this one: "until what time u take appointment and does fk is inclued", and earlier on "is 1hr unlimited cum"

no "hello" or anything  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 17 August 2012, 07:52:21 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 17 August 2012, 01:27:45 pm
Quote from: MinxyLydia on 16 August 2012, 08:02:32 pm

Him: I like u big gril wat u name



He's contacted me before. You'd think he'd learnt how to spell "girl" by now...or maybe he DOES mean "grill", and wants you to cook for him...?

Lydia, if you think for one minute it might be this bloke (http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=6441.msg63747#msg63747) then don't respond to it at all, and save/block the number. The twat made my friend Kinky's life a bloody misery for months to the point where she barely switched her phone on because she couldn't bear him pestering her any more >:(.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 18 August 2012, 04:09:46 am
I am awake at this time in the morning, because some stupid fecker, whose pecker is twitching, wants to have fun! For 70 pounds for the hour, and some class 1 substance!  :FF arrrrgggggggg!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 18 August 2012, 02:37:25 pm
Text from potential client at 11:30 last night. My working hours are 10am to 10pm.
Him- R u only available times stated?
Me- No Im available 24/7  I just put that Im only available then for the fun of it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 18 August 2012, 06:18:21 pm
 Caller ...Hi, whats the difference between the half hour and hour booking? !!!!!.  ::)
me   ... It is obviously the time you spend with me, price increases with time frame.
caller , whats the latest time you work till? (hate this question recently)
me.  it varies, so what time are you looking to book for ?
 caller.. Ill call you back in 5 mins.
ends call !!!!!

bet he wouldnt be so vague with making an appointment with the dentist !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sara1980 on 18 August 2012, 08:45:12 pm

Email sent a short while ago.....

Deluded delight..... 'Can I cum now'
Me..... 'My last appointment this evening was 8pm, sorry'.
DD..... 'I can be there in 5 minutes'
Me..... 'I like to relax after work, sorry'.
DD..... 'Me too, that a no then?'

Ignored and deleted.... Just in...

DD 'Beer and money?'
DD 'Please'

Of course. Most definitely. The fact that you're offering to bring 'beer' when I hate the stuff has made me rush for the stockings sweet cheeks, hurry around......

Ye Gods! Haha  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 18 August 2012, 09:31:59 pm
Idiot: Are you free for an appointment tonight
Me: Yes.
Idiot: How do we meet?
Me: You come to mine, please call me when it's convenient.

Ring Ring: Yada, Yada sounds fine. Books in.

Me: texts landmark
Idiot: What kind of stockings and heels do you have
Me: Black lacy/ plain/ fishnet/ white. Black Heels. *Me thinking uh-oh.. tw alert*
Idiot: White with black heels please.
Me: No problem *Thinking: weird combo... won't look good at all... men and their crappy taste*
Idiot: What kind of things do you like?
Me: It's on my profile *thinks  :FF*
Idiot: I'm cancelling appointment because I like to have a bit of banter
Me: I'm not a sex hotline. I'm now blacklisting you, don't contact me.
Idiot: Sorry AW has been a mine field lately. Sorry you get the brunt of it. I have met some weird people on there. Have fun I didn't mean to waste your time.
Me: Yup it has with time wasters like you! (I couldn't resist) Please leave me alone.
Idiot: I have met crack heads. Russian gangsters at my door step*. Sorry I have had some (insert bad word) nightmares. Normally if a lady has a bit of naughty banter before hand it shows she is good**. I didn't mean any harm sorry.
Me: Didn't reply.

20 minutes later: Would you like to meet at mine?
10 minutes later: If I give you my address I can't change my mind lol.


*Russian Gangsters, dear they are called the KGB...
** Yeah shows she is naive alright. Good at her job... not so much.

So much restraint to not reply.

HONESTLY  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 18 August 2012, 09:38:59 pm
.....and he's still trying to call me.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 18 August 2012, 11:01:20 pm
I have had one, dont know if he's a TW or just weird.
Texted me on sunday asking if I ever tour London. Said yes sometimes if he kept an eye on my profile he would know when I was touring. Woke up monday to 10 texts all along the lines off 'Are you ok?' 'Why arent you answering?' ' Im really worried', got another text later saying when I come to London could meet as friends for a drink(yeah right like thats happening). Politely told him I couldnt give him what he was looking for. He replied that he wasnt looking for a relationship, explained again(was like talking to a brick wall) that no he seemed to be looking for friendship which he wasnt likely to get on an escort site and that there was sites out there for that type of thing. Dont think he understood lol, like I said either a TW or not quite there. Ok rant over
PS. Sorry if this is in wrong place.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 19 August 2012, 07:10:19 pm
Texts from TW.
TW- Hi are you free for car meet in ******** at 7?(Recieved at 18:21)
Me- Sorry I dont drive( and Im sure not going to spend 40min on a bus when youve got a car, didnt say this bit).
TW-What about in call?
Me- Dont do them
TW- Out call?
Me- Carmeets only this week(had to use travel money to pay bill).
TW- Ok how do I book?
Me- Which site did you get details from?
TW- Adultwork
Me- In which case I am marking you as a TW as it clearly tells you how to book on my profile(I know I couldve been nicer).
TW- Nice attitude! Will be sure to leave some feedback to warn others!(Oh no Im shaking he's going to leave negative feedback better offer him a freebie NOT)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 19 August 2012, 07:31:52 pm
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 19 August 2012, 07:10:19 pm
Texts from TW.
TW- Hi are you free for car meet in ******** at 7?(Recieved at 18:21)
Me- Sorry I dont drive( and Im sure not going to spend 40min on a bus when youve got a car, didnt say this bit).
TW-What about in call?
Me- Dont do them
TW- Out call?
Me- Carmeets only this week(had to use travel money to pay bill).
TW- Ok how do I book?
Me- Which site did you get details from?
TW- Adultwork
Me- In which case I am marking you as a TW as it clearly tells you how to book on my profile(I know I couldve been nicer).
TW- Nice attitude! Will be sure to leave some feedback to warn others!(Oh no Im shaking he's going to leave negative feedback better offer him a freebie NOT)


IDK about this I think you were a little short with him and not particularly forthcoming with information...

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 19 August 2012, 07:36:08 pm
I know I couldve been nicer but just bugs me when they are wanting you to answer things that youve already answered in your profile.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 19 August 2012, 07:40:45 pm
To be honest the guy was probably quite confused... you didn't stipulate any way in which to meet you, and you didn't say you weren't available, and I think by saying 'so how do I book you?' I think he meant... 'how can I get an appointment with you because you're making it quite difficult.'

xx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ThreeFaces on 19 August 2012, 08:16:46 pm
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 19 August 2012, 07:10:19 pm
Texts from TW.
TW- Hi are you free for car meet in ******** at 7?(Recieved at 18:21)
Me- Sorry I dont drive( and Im sure not going to spend 40min on a bus when youve got a car, didnt say this bit).


Me- Carmeets only this week(had to use travel money to pay bill).


Chrissie car meets are so dangerous, especially if you're not driving to meet him. If he turns out to be a psycho, then you're stuck in the middle of nowhere with no means of escape. Getting into a car with a stranger is beyond risky - I know you're not getting many bookings, but alive and p*ss poor is always better than the alternative.

And there's a guy in Ireland targeting women whom he collects for bookings, I'll see if I can find a link.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 19 August 2012, 09:01:36 pm
I know car meets can be dangerous which is why I ask for their full name, address, vehicle make, model, colour and reg and I choose the spot we go to, Someone else always has the clients details along with where Im being picked up, what time and how long I will be and know the spot I use.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ThreeFaces on 19 August 2012, 09:24:17 pm
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 19 August 2012, 09:01:36 pm
I know car meets can be dangerous which is why I ask for their full name, address, vehicle make, model, colour and reg and I choose the spot we go to, Someone else always has the clients details along with where Im being picked up, what time and how long I will be and know the spot I use.

Sorry I didn't mean to lecture, I just got a bit of a fright when I saw the OP  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 19 August 2012, 09:29:40 pm
Its cool hun I wouldve been worried too, I havent jumped straight into it did lots of research and thought hard before doing it and made sure I had security checks in place.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CatsEyes on 20 August 2012, 01:10:20 pm
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 18 August 2012, 11:01:20 pm
I have had one, dont know if he's a TW or just weird.
Texted me on sunday asking if I ever tour London. Said yes sometimes if he kept an eye on my profile he would know when I was touring. Woke up monday to 10 texts all along the lines off 'Are you ok?' 'Why arent you answering?' ' Im really worried', got another text later saying when I come to London could meet as friends for a drink(yeah right like thats happening). Politely told him I couldnt give him what he was looking for. He replied that he wasnt looking for a relationship, explained again(was like talking to a brick wall) that no he seemed to be looking for friendship which he wasnt likely to get on an escort site and that there was sites out there for that type of thing. Dont think he understood lol, like I said either a TW or not quite there. Ok rant over
PS. Sorry if this is in wrong place.

I've had this before, a few times. It sounds familiar , although they didn't mention where they were.

When I stopped replying to texts for whatever reason (busy, have a life! or they were showing signs of tw) then I got frantic texts like -

"are you ok? please let me know you are ok?"

"I am worried about your safety or something has happened to you that you are not answering"

and the worst one . . . .

"If you don't get in touch I will call the police, I'm worried something terrible has happened to you and you cannot get to a phone.."

I was actually quite irate at the last one as I had seen him once before so he knew my work address, the LAST thing I want is the police turning up and making the neighbours suspicious because of some over paranoid weirdo.

Some people may think it's nice and protective, to me it reminds me of the types who become complete stalker boyfriends and who call their girlfriends 100 times if they go out demanding to know where they are exactly , who with etc and track their every move. Creepy. If they act like that despite having never even met me, or only met me briefly in a sex work context, it weirds me out (SHUDDERS)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: naughtyjas on 20 August 2012, 01:11:19 pm
I had this text  when I woke up:

Confused : why you always asleep? Lol xx

It was sent at 01.36am.  And loads of missed calls in the middle of the night from this idiot.  Everyday.  Or should that be night?  You'd think that he would have figured it out by now  ::)



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lili69 on 20 August 2012, 03:12:28 pm
Quote from: naughtyjas on 20 August 2012, 01:11:19 pm
I had this text  when I woke up:

Confused : why you always asleep? Lol xx

It was sent at 01.36am.  And loads of missed calls in the middle of the night from this idiot.  Everyday.  Or should that be night?  You'd think that he would have figured it out by now  ::)

FFS!!! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: justgee84 on 20 August 2012, 03:53:27 pm
Think the idiots are out in force today....
I had a client 2-3pm, these beauts were waiting in my AW inbox when I had finished:

At 2.43pm: "Hi I'd like an incall for an hour today please. My number is 07*********, please text to confirm"

At 2.47pm (yes, 4min after): "To say you ask for clients to write a Charlie Dickins novel of more that 3 words per email, I think it only courteous that you reply with at least the same. Thanks"

Me, at 3.06pm: "So sorry I did not reply to your email in the same second as receiving it, but as it states on my profile (directly underneath the bit about requesting your full life story in an email, obviously), I am not always online and I also have bookings during the day (as well as a life...), so it might be a while before answering emails. Also, just because a message is showing as read does not mean I have had the time to read it fully and type a response. Given your attitude in your second email, I'm going to pass on giving you an hour of my time as I think the 5 minutes it has taken to read and respond to your messages was too much. Thanks."

*block*

Idiot. Yeah, I ask guys to write more than 3 words in an email as all I was getting was "hi" or "you free?" and I kindly asked for a little effort when trying to make contact. As for the snotty response between emails... Jesus! I did manage to read his first message as my last client was showering, but only because I was waiting for another client to contact me about tonight. Jesus, they don't want much do they???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lili69 on 20 August 2012, 07:31:51 pm
I've just received this email:

I wondered if you would be free for an outcall to xx either Wednesday or Thursday this week around 1pm for an hr ?? Would love to meet you.

 :FF

This makes me really cross for various reasons-
1.  My availability only shows me as working a couple of hours today and tomorrow - so if he had bothered to check it then he wouldn't need to even ask me!!!!! 
2. The outcall location is 1hr 20 mins drive from me.  Oh yes please, I would love to spend nearly 3 hours in the car for a 1 hour booking!   FFS!!!!   :FF

I sent as polite a reply as I could be bothered to.  Perhaps I am just really in a bad mood tonight, but these stupid enquiries get on my nerves sometimes!!!! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsummer on 20 August 2012, 08:05:17 pm
'Hi Adriana. I'm mike 31yo in New Malden. I'm new to this time of thing so quite shy but just wanted to say I love your profile :) Are you busy?'

This guy was pestering me back in December, and this was the very same text as back them so naturally I replied: 'Well, you're definitely not new to wasting my time, I have countless texts from you going back to December.'

Funny how forgetful TW's can be, thank god for smartphones  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 20 August 2012, 08:42:22 pm
Received today from someone who's never contacted me before...

GET A LIFE SCARY MARY


 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: naughtyjas on 20 August 2012, 08:59:44 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 20 August 2012, 08:42:22 pm
Received today from someone who's never contacted me before...

GET A LIFE SCARY MARY


 ::)

Was he talking to himself?  Because he seriously needs to get a life if that's what he does in his spare time.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 20 August 2012, 09:04:02 pm
Quote from: naughtyjas on 20 August 2012, 08:59:44 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 20 August 2012, 08:42:22 pm
Received today from someone who's never contacted me before...

GET A LIFE SCARY MARY


 ::)

Was he talking to himself?  Because he seriously needs to get a life if that's what he does in his spare time.

LOL - I thought exactly the same, as I blocked his ass  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lili69 on 21 August 2012, 07:29:44 pm
Just received a phone call:

Idiot:  Do you see groups?
Me:  No (read my profile!!!)
Idiot:  Do you need any notice if I wanted to rim you or for anal sex in a booking?
Me:  No, although anal is at my discretion and I make the decision at the time of the booking.
Idiot:   Do you do any special preparations before anal?  Like showering or an enema?
Me:  (flabbergasted)...err, yes... of course I shower before seeing any client.  No, I don't have an enema before seeing clients!!!    :FF
*click* and then I sent a text telling him not to contact me again.
FFS
Am I over-reacting?  I've never had anyone ask about enemas!  Of course I wash my bum before seeing clients!  ARGHHH!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: XxAnnaliseXx on 21 August 2012, 08:24:57 pm
Quote from: lili69 on 21 August 2012, 07:29:44 pm
Just received a phone call:

Idiot:  Do you see groups?
Me:  No (read my profile!!!)
Idiot:  Do you need any notice if I wanted to rim you or for anal sex in a booking?
Me:  No, although anal is at my discretion and I make the decision at the time of the booking.
Idiot:   Do you do any special preparations before anal?  Like showering or an enema?
Me:  (flabbergasted)...err, yes... of course I shower before seeing any client.  No, I don't have an enema before seeing clients!!!    :FF
*click* and then I sent a text telling him not to contact me again.
FFS
Am I over-reacting?  I've never had anyone ask about enemas!  Of course I wash my bum before seeing clients!  ARGHHH!

I think some girls do douche their bottoms but I can't say i've ever been asked that before anal!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Green Carnation on 22 August 2012, 06:02:12 pm
I have not had incall no shows for around 2-3 years, and here I go! This week I've had 2 no shows, from perfectly normal sounding guys, at most busy for me hours (lunchtime, and 5.30pm). And 2 weeks ago I had an outcall 'no show'- i went to visit someone and he was not there. Are all idiots in town out of their hideouts?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 22 August 2012, 07:17:23 pm
Quote from: Green Carnation on 22 August 2012, 06:02:12 pm
I have not had incall no shows for around 2-3 years, and here I go! This week I've had 2 no shows, from perfectly normal sounding guys, at most busy for me hours (lunchtime, and 5.30pm). And 2 weeks ago I had an outcall 'no show'- i went to visit someone and he was not there. Are all idiots in town out of their hideouts?

School holidays  :-\

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 23 August 2012, 12:19:36 am
Reverse booking I just read...

"BB sex

I am a real Norwegian"

as opposed to all those Norwegian imposters!!  :o :o :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 23 August 2012, 10:41:30 am
Quote from: Friday on 23 August 2012, 12:19:36 am
Reverse booking I just read...

"BB sex

I am a real Norwegian"

as opposed to all those Norwegian imposters!!  :o :o :o

Lmao Friday.

Just woke up to this tired classic via text -

''Hi can u do 7 days booking i can pay u ?40,000.  Call me.  Dill.  And i can pay u ?20,000.  Today.  Dill''

Well ladies, it's been nice knowing ya but it looks as though (Thanks to Dill) I'm retiring early hahaha  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 23 August 2012, 10:22:10 pm
I got this text today -

'UR a Polish Cunt!'

...bit strange. I'm not even Polish... ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Devilish Afro on 23 August 2012, 10:52:46 pm
That's really awful.   There's nowt so queer as folk.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 23 August 2012, 11:42:44 pm
Just got this:

"Hi baby. We met before ages ago how much for 15 mins? U doing anal yet?"

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 24 August 2012, 05:41:00 am
Quote from: Clarabella on 23 August 2012, 10:41:30 am
Quote from: Friday on 23 August 2012, 12:19:36 am
Reverse booking I just read...

"BB sex

I am a real Norwegian"

as opposed to all those Norwegian imposters!!  :o :o :o

Lmao Friday.

Just woke up to this tired classic via text -

''Hi can u do 7 days booking i can pay u ?40,000.  Call me.  Dill.  And i can pay u ?20,000.  Today.  Dill''

Well ladies, it's been nice knowing ya but it looks as though (Thanks to Dill) I'm retiring early hahaha  :D
I get the same texts from him all the time, he used to go under the name 'Jay' and will even ring and say this bullshit. Everytime I tell him why does he bother and to fuck off and get a bloody life but I still get another one a few months later.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Green Carnation on 24 August 2012, 08:46:22 am
Quote from: ilovedots on 23 August 2012, 11:42:44 pm
Just got this:

"Hi baby. We met before ages ago how much for 15 mins? U doing anal yet?"

That is just...Essence! Haha

I have also recived a few pearls in the last few days. I've noticed higher activity of idiots and timewasters.

Text Received this morning before 8 am:
- 1hr outcall, call me NOW

Same guy yesterday:
- what's ur postcode

Someone this morning:
- how much

A guy whom I met some time ago, and wouldn't see him for duoble the money. He was the 'now do this, now do that' type, very rude and wanted to make me feel like someone worthless, yesterday i received this:
-can you do 30 mins for ?40, we met before (?40 is half my half an hour rate)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fanny chan on 24 August 2012, 10:57:57 am
had a guy yesterday with these word
guy - do u do watersport?
me - i can pee on u if u like but i dont allow it the other way.
guy - then would it be ok if i hold ur fanny open then piss inside u?
me - no (did i not jus say i dont allow it?)
guy - what if i paid u an extra ?10?
me - i told u i dont offer that service
guy - ok then how bout ?20 extra?
me - *puts phone down*

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sara1980 on 26 August 2012, 12:02:47 am
It's been SO long since I've had such a detailed email on a/w!! I feel like I should actually read all of it and reply.........

Hello!!
I'm 21 and I've a problem regarding sex and was wondering if you could be kind enough to assist me on this, please

To put my questions, I like to explain you something about my cock erections. Well you would be fully aware how mens cock get erected and how they are when erect. But in my case, I get soft erections and my cock even drops-down. By drop-down I mean if you put your thumb on my penis head and press it towards its base, you can compress it just under your thumb, just like if you put your thumb on your nipple and press it towards yourself, you can push the nipple deep inside. So if you like see my cock pictures,they are inside my profile, one of soft cock and the other one in which I hold my cock is of erect cock. By seeing those pictures it would then become evident to you that if you press it inwards, it will drop down.

ANAL SEX:

I don?t know whether you feel comfortable about anal sex but my question is regarding anal sex and would be very nice if you still attempt to assist me on this. And for this part of question, if you think that its somehow useful to look at the escort picture, then you can view them via (http:removed by me!/)

Well my question on anal sex is based upon two parts which I?ll put to you differently:

1. I was offered sex only once by the escort whose website link I?ve given above, and if you wish to see her body figure. Well she asked me if I like to try anal sex and to which I agreed. So she got into the position and I tried to penetrate her anus. BUT I don?t know why, but my cock DID NOT EVEN TOUCHED/REACHED her anus, though I tried really hard by pushing my pelvic area so my cock could reach her anus BUT still it did not. And after two or three pushes and she ??it?s fine?? and we stopped ( I think she asked me to stop because she felt uncomfortable or may be painful by me pushing my pelvic against her bum).

Anyways, my basic question is that when I can at least touch my cock with her vagina, WHY MY COCK DID NOT EVEN TOUCHED/REACHED HER ANUS?????????? According to my logic and understanding, it should had. The mechanism I apply is the same that if one can touch her anus with her little finger and even insert it into anus, then WHY my cock stayed far behind????????



2. My second part?.. When she offered me to do her anus, she said that the anus is much tighter than the vagina. For a second if we assume that my cock reached her anus, would penetrating her anus had been any difficult because my cock drops-down. As I?ve said before that if one puts his/her thumb over my cock and presses my cock towards its base, my cock simple compresses to a single dot. So would penetrating a tighter anus be any difficult for me??????????? And if it did dropped-down then in which way I could still have managed to penetrate her?????????????????????????????????

Regards and wait for your reply

He only has 4 aliases though - worth a shot?   :FF  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 26 August 2012, 12:12:04 am
"HELLO I ROSS I HAVE A CRYING FETISH I LIKE TO SEE WOMEN CRYING AND HEAR THEM WEEP WHAT WILL MAKE CRY TEARS.
CAN U CRY FOR ME
CAN YOU PLEASE REPLY"

Looking at his (awful) feedback I suspect this was for phone chat but had to share....  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 26 August 2012, 12:18:04 am
email just arrived

"Hi i am looking for a working girl to rent my private discreet flat in Eastbourne East Sussex, Bn21 3le. Its 5 mins away from town and 150 pound a week.Its 1 bedroom furnished flat,and i have know trouble over the 5 months i have been doing and have had not any trouble from the police.If interested contact me on 07922719099 pls."

I like the fact that I live in Scotland hasn't put him off one bit..  ::)

apart from all the other obvious alarm bells  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 26 August 2012, 04:53:34 pm
 Caller ...Hi its my birthday Im looking to book for 5hrs booking with you , dinner and GFE , how much is that ? Are you free monday(after id said i wasnt free monday!)
Are you free monday asks again to which I repeat, I have told you im only free Fri that week and its ?500 for 5 hrs
Caller ..." I want dinner with you first and how long will that be!?"
I replied," how long is a piece of string,? its impossible to say".
caller dosnt understand this and then gets confused. :FF
I then inform him again the total cost as he asks yet again.
I ask him his age and he informs me he is 27yrs old British male.   
I then ask him to look at my diary dates and list him as clown in my phone !!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: XxAnnaliseXx on 26 August 2012, 10:11:11 pm
I responded to a reverse booking about a frequent series over meetings over October.

He replied today saying As I mentioned I will have 2 - 3 months free from
sometime in October and would like a 'friend' to visit perhaps every week
for a suggested price of �100/time though the lower I can get this price
the more often it can happen.  I am open to all ideas though and can
accomodate if required  I love your profile and feedback though I note
your pricing is higher than I have mentioned.

I asked him to clarify if he meant ?100 per hour or ?100 per visit irrelevant of length of time.

It would be �100/visit.  Depending on how we get on and how time
constrained your time is this could be 30 mins or all night!  I have had
both extremes and it often depends on how we both feel on the night.  I
guess its a flexible thing though I would impose no limits on time for
these meetings.  I often cook dinner however if my friend is happy to join
me. I enjoy the un-predictability of these AW meetings and I sometimes
even make friends (a taboo I know).  Let me know if you have your own
rules...xxx

So he wants to make friends and never spend more than ?100. I don't think escorting is the right field to be fishing around in.

Edit: now he's just said

Well Im happy to pay �100/hour and this may run to 30 visits in the time I
have available so I admit my original booking may have been unclear

The mind boggles!! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 27 August 2012, 03:35:18 pm
What a day of the good and the bad lol. The bad concerning those idiots and the good with a few genuine bookings made me smile indeed. I thought to try the available today option on aw for a one off. And boom here we go again on a ride. Two bookings had today for the same time and didn't show, so now they are blocked instantly having the last laugh. I promise myself that the available today won't be used ever again costing me for there crap.  To deal with society, sanity's needed, then every things going to be alright Bob Marley lol.

Tomorrow is a pampering day getting my nails and feet done.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 27 August 2012, 06:39:36 pm
Hi I hope your having a nice Bank Holiday,

This is very cheeky I know but you know the saying don't ask don't get.

As you see I have a profile on here & I'm trying to get more feedback in order to get more bookng one hopes, that why I'm so cheap.

I'm willing to clean any room in your home fully nude or give you a nice body massage or worship you for free, I love sucking toes & worshiping, so if you like having your feet massage you will love me sucking your toes & massage your feet, I will be your slave for a hour or more all for free,

I also love watersports and will take it full face and into my mouth, I'm ok with you taking photos of me & putting them up on your site for all to see, or in your private gallery where you can make some money off them.

As I said I know it very cheeky to ask but it also maybe fun for you to have me worship you or even clean a room for you fully nude.

I will be the the London area 2moro if you would like me to come round so that you can use & abuse me or even if you just would like to interview me 1st & get a look what I'm like that will be fine with me even if it just for 15mins.

Thank you both for taking the time to read this cheeky email but please do email back even if it a no thank you?? & if it a yes then all I ask is that you leave me some nice feedback & I will do the same for you.

Hope you enjoy the rest of the bank holiday

Mark xx


Well seeing as I'm laid up in bed post op with another 6 weeks bed rest ordered he can come clean my flat if he wants! Actually I told him to F off and blocked him! Really not in the mood for any messages right now especially as my profile says I'm NOT WORKING!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 27 August 2012, 07:09:56 pm
Quote from: Coty on 27 August 2012, 06:39:36 pm
Hi I hope your having a nice Bank Holiday,

This is very cheeky I know but you know the saying don't ask don't get.

As you see I have a profile on here & I'm trying to get more feedback in order to get more bookng one hopes, that why I'm so cheap.

I'm willing to clean any room in your home fully nude or give you a nice body massage or worship you for free, I love sucking toes & worshiping, so if you like having your feet massage you will love me sucking your toes & massage your feet, I will be your slave for a hour or more all for free,

I also love watersports and will take it full face and into my mouth, I'm ok with you taking photos of me & putting them up on your site for all to see, or in your private gallery where you can make some money off them.

As I said I know it very cheeky to ask but it also maybe fun for you to have me worship you or even clean a room for you fully nude.

I will be the the London area 2moro if you would like me to come round so that you can use & abuse me or even if you just would like to interview me 1st & get a look what I'm like that will be fine with me even if it just for 15mins.

Thank you both for taking the time to read this cheeky email but please do email back even if it a no thank you?? & if it a yes then all I ask is that you leave me some nice feedback & I will do the same for you.

Hope you enjoy the rest of the bank holiday

Mark xx


Well seeing as I'm laid up in bed post op with another 6 weeks bed rest ordered he can come clean my flat if he wants! Actually I told him to F off and blocked him! Really not in the mood for any messages right now especially as my profile says I'm NOT WORKING!

Tell him you don't do "free" and your hourly fee is ?100 per hour for the privilidge of being your maid/servant and this is non-negotiable.

Or send him my way and let me play with him. MWAHAHAHAAA!! 8)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvygrace on 27 August 2012, 11:59:18 pm
i never use the available today thing. as long as your by your computer you can do a quick update of your profile once an hour or so to make sure your on top of list!  ;)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 28 August 2012, 02:46:00 am
[quote author=Cat_BBW link=topic=1637.msg87688#msg87688 date=1346090996

Tell him you don't do "free" and your hourly fee is ?100 per hour for the privilidge of being your maid/servant and this is non-negotiable.

Or send him my way and let me play with him. MWAHAHAHAAA!! 8)
[/quote]


Hahahaha...be careful what you ask for Miss Cat!!!!

;-) XXX
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vampera on 28 August 2012, 12:25:48 pm
I got this Text this morning:

"can i come have sex with u tmr 9am i have big cock xx i have 20 pounds"   :FF

LoL Oh yes, please please come and have sex with me, I am really desperate for 20 pounds and wow, you've got a big cock???  Great....come and do it for free!!!  LoL

Obviously I immediately put him in my phone as "don't answer"....  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: figa98 on 28 August 2012, 03:21:12 pm
Email :

Can I bring nappies and baby powder and we roll around wearing them?

Blocked!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Escort38 on 28 August 2012, 10:32:47 pm
That site has been good for me but once in a while I get an email
which shows there are men with not much on top.

Email today wanting to book me, I check that he has feedback and yes he does, 3.
His feedback comes from a lady who also has 3 feedbacks. His email to me had  (1)  next to his name. Yes he
 had an alias and it is the lady who has given him the feedback. They are both the same person.

  I have not replied to him, was tempted to make him aware of his gaff but don't want to
receive any more mails from him.  Silly man.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 28 August 2012, 11:27:06 pm
AW e-mail today:

Subject: hello

Hi, how hairy is your pussy?


I couldn't help but laugh. I also replied: "Natural, i.e. as hairy as it gets." And blocked him  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvygrace on 29 August 2012, 11:41:31 am
brilliant lol, im surprised aw havnt flagged this up with him
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 29 August 2012, 12:36:03 pm
I always try to cater for those who change their mind but it's a bit difficult when an hour notice is required for some thing. A little bit of consideration goes a long way, I responded via text polity gritting my teeth lol. Now he says around the original booking time. This says it all in that word around, so neither here or there kinda thing. His expected to not turn up, so any other bookings will get in. Just some times this has to be done when people are not sure.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 29 August 2012, 08:06:56 pm
Yes thanks for that tip.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sarahyorks on 29 August 2012, 08:08:55 pm
Since I only work so many days a week I do use the available today function, it normally pays off well for me. But I do find since AW have banned you from putting available 'x'day on your summary things have gotten a little more hard work from an advertising perspective
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 29 August 2012, 11:40:29 pm
I don't know if this gets round it, or if it's different because I just webcam, but I have a tab on my profile called availability, and put a rough availability there (though still fairly specific with days and times and the like). Not been called up on it yet.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 30 August 2012, 11:39:49 am
Quote from: figa98 on 28 August 2012, 03:21:12 pm
Email :

Can I bring nappies and baby powder and we roll around wearing them?

Blocked!

He strikes again!

id like to book a overnight session for saturday night at a local hotel and id like us to play around in nappies like putting one on each other then kissing cuddling and fooling around in them also how do you feel about wearing a nappie and will this be the first time you've worn one and would you like any cream or powder on your pussy when you wear one as i'll after bring it so if that sounds ok let me know and i'll make the booking.

How about... read my profile first!  :FF Spent ages making sure that my profile explains that I work mainly Monday - Thursday during the day and that I only do outcalls with clients I've met previously.  I'm certainly not interested in this and I can't be bothered to reply but part of me is thinking that it might just be his thing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kitty_of_Herts on 30 August 2012, 12:48:58 pm
Quote from: Holly G on 30 August 2012, 11:39:49 am
Quote from: figa98 on 28 August 2012, 03:21:12 pm
Email :

Can I bring nappies and baby powder and we roll around wearing them?

Blocked!

He strikes again!

id like to book a overnight session for saturday night at a local hotel and id like us to play around in nappies like putting one on each other then kissing cuddling and fooling around in them also how do you feel about wearing a nappie and will this be the first time you've worn one and would you like any cream or powder on your pussy when you wear one as i'll after bring it so if that sounds ok let me know and i'll make the booking.

How about... read my profile first!  :FF Spent ages making sure that my profile explains that I work mainly Monday - Thursday during the day and that I only do outcalls with clients I've met previously.  I'm certainly not interested in this and I can't be bothered to reply but part of me is thinking that it might just be his thing.

Nahhh, this guy gets off on making you read his dutty fantasies. I normally always reply with TL;DR. Or, as with the one you and I both just got, "If you can't be bothered to spellcheck your message then I can't be bothered to read it. Soz :)".
Heh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 30 August 2012, 01:12:50 pm
They must think we're bloody stupid  :FF


Hi,


I have a sort of strange fantasy so i hope you can help. I have never used an escort before and find the idea of paying for sex a little odd so i hope this idea is ok with you.


Here is the scenario:


How about we play cards. i will end up losing and you will win all the money (see how that works). Then we play for clothes and we lose even more. finally we end up doing things to each other. is this sort of thing ok?


Gary xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 30 August 2012, 01:26:30 pm
Quote from: Friday on 30 August 2012, 01:12:50 pm
They must think we're bloody stupid  :FF


Hi,


I have a sort of strange fantasy so i hope you can help. I have never used an escort before and find the idea of paying for sex a little odd so i hope this idea is ok with you.


Here is the scenario:


How about we play cards. i will end up losing and you will win all the money (see how that works). Then we play for clothes and we lose even more. finally we end up doing things to each other. is this sort of thing ok?


Gary xx

I actually have a client that does this as it eases his nerves.  I always win all the money and he always loses all his clothes first and then we can start the real fun.  Its actually a good laugh and a great way for those with bad nerves to relax and get to know you beforehand.  He may well be genuine so dont block him just yet.  I almost blocked mine but I was bored stuck at home so thought ok lets play and see what other crap he comes up with but he was genuine and is now a regular
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 30 August 2012, 01:30:01 pm
Quote
HI Diana, Got your page through a link with **
If you can do the same 1 hr outcall as ** ?150 FOR THE HOUR
I would like to meet you 5mins from ikea Nottm
Bed ready to be soaked
i always give days notice if you agree
HUGS KISSSES LICKS
Horny Harry xx

Sure, I'll negotiate my fees just for you, see you for less time than my minimum for an outcall and ignore all the information I have provided you with clearly on my profile, not!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 30 August 2012, 03:26:27 pm
Quote from: Kitty_of_Herts on 30 August 2012, 12:48:58 pm
Nahhh, this guy gets off on making you read his dutty fantasies. I normally always reply with TL;DR. Or, as with the one you and I both just got, "If you can't be bothered to spellcheck your message then I can't be bothered to read it. Soz :)".
Heh.

Thanks for the inspiration... the response was that if he couldn't be bothered to use any punctuation or spell check then I couldn't be bothered to read his message.

I've come to the conclusion that I can only come across as witty with the help of these forums! lol  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 30 August 2012, 08:04:35 pm
He didn't take too kindly to that and have just had a rather rude response...  :-\ Woops! lol

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 30 August 2012, 08:20:35 pm
Quote from: Dani on 30 August 2012, 01:26:30 pm
I actually have a client that does this as it eases his nerves.  I always win all the money and he always loses all his clothes first and then we can start the real fun.  Its actually a good laugh and a great way for those with bad nerves to relax and get to know you beforehand.  He may well be genuine so dont block him just yet.  I almost blocked mine but I was bored stuck at home so thought ok lets play and see what other crap he comes up with but he was genuine and is now a regular

I haven't blocked him but I did point out he isn't paying for sex he is paying for time which includes playing cards and money is always upfront as specified on my profile.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 31 August 2012, 02:20:50 pm
Quote from: Clarabella on 23 August 2012, 10:41:30 am
Just woke up to this tired classic via text -

''Hi can u do 7 days booking i can pay u ?40,000.  Call me.  Dill.  And i can pay u ?20,000.  Today.  Dill''

Well ladies, it's been nice knowing ya but it looks as though (Thanks to Dill) I'm retiring early hahaha  :D

We got that one on 20th August! Written exactly the same as well...

"Hi can u do 7 days booking i can pay u ? 40,000. Call me. Dill. And i can pay u ?20,000. Today. Dill."

Just a timewaster/fantasist or something more sinister? We just replied saying that we would need more details and to have met him in a much shorter meet beforehand and he rang us twice (we have a call blocker) and we never heard from him again.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady c on 01 September 2012, 09:43:15 pm
i,d like to make a booking please and can u tell me how much more for bareback... :FF

next client.. can i come see u now
me.. i only do outcalls sorry
him..no u do incalls
me.. no i don,t read my profile
him.. i did u do incalls
me.. no i don,t, i know what my profile says please read again..bye
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 03 September 2012, 03:18:29 pm
Had this text this morning
hiya i am deaf i want sexy you for how much cost and please can you address give to me.
I did not reply after this text was sent 10 times.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 03 September 2012, 05:27:45 pm
My internet has been playing up all afternoon but wasn't overly fussed as I'm not working, finally manage to get back online and find this wonderful gem!

Quote
hi miss

would you consider dressing as police lady and having me call on earth m8 as your mobile Hairdresser. i do youth hair but you can't pay.
so you seduce me to pay for your hair do.

Two aliases and a TW warning but still manages to have some positive feedback!! V ::) I don't think I fancy it somehow...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: naughtyjas on 04 September 2012, 10:49:58 pm
I have been having a really bad day today.  I'm on tour in Birmingham and not one bloody client that booked has turned up.

So the last thing I needed was this email in my inbox:

Hello,

I saw your profile and would love to meet you for an hour

You sound ideal for me, looking for a lady like your self for weekly meetings.

would like all services without condoms, I am clean and had a vasectomy so no issues there...

willing to pay ?250per hour.

Write soon

David x

I couldn't resist and had to reply:

"You do know that there are hundreds of girls on here that already offer what you want ?

You don't have to waste your time e-mailing escorts that clearly state on their profile that they don't do bloody bareback because frankly a mans word that he is clean and has had the snip is like trusting GW Bush when he said Iraq had weapons of mass destruction.  Which Ironically is exactly what the man has, loads of tiny little weapons of disease and ruin.

And you can save yourself loads of money because you won't have to offer nearly twice the rate the escort asks.  And the you can afford to see the escort twice instead of once a week."

Stupid dickhead.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 04 September 2012, 11:47:39 pm
Quote from: naughtyjas on 04 September 2012, 10:49:58 pm

Stupid dickhead.

I actually hope that is how you signed it lol  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 05 September 2012, 09:01:52 am

This is one my friend recieved .....         Have you had a client with a tall order? well this one will make you laugh.



Client says Hi Babe can you answer the following questions before I book an appointment.

His five questions are:

1.  Likes foot fetish and can he suck toes toos. Includes a foot job/ massage.

2.  To do a blow job and will it be given with or without condom.

3.  To go down on me and would that be  allowed using protection

4.  Show evidence that I am checked regularly (paperwork) to show I am clean.

5. He has this fantasy of a woman giving him a bath whilst holding his penis while he pee,
    can this be incorporated into role play.

Well what do you think girls, he on a another planet.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Little_Miss_Misanthropy on 05 September 2012, 09:06:46 am
Him



I would like to book you for an hour to play with your nipples and suck them until milk comes out.

Me (in a patient, giving mood today)

Hi,

Thanks for your message - I don't offer lactation services as I have never been pregnant. It's a common fetish though so I'm sure if you search through adultwork you'll find someone who does. Though I would advise you to google the risks associated with drinking a strangers breast milk.

Regards...

Him (five seconds later)

No no if I suck hard enough milk will come out, trust me.

.........

I'd actually like to forward a lot of the messages from AW to the minister for education, because clearly - a lot of the male population are just plain old thick.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Devilish Afro on 05 September 2012, 12:05:17 pm
I received the below message in my inbox today:

Hi baby I am in love.
I want to be your friend.
add me to your skype so that we can talk at any time.
This is my skype ID: ******
Thanks.

I replied thanks but no thanks then I got this:

Thank for your prompt response,
Please try to consider me I am in love.
Baby you are too beautiful i cant miss you as my lover.
Please honey I wait for your favorable answer.
Thanks,
Love********

He will be waiting a long time


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sadie x on 05 September 2012, 12:49:28 pm
Quote from: Little Miss Misanthropy on 05 September 2012, 09:06:46 am
Him



I would like to book you for an hour to play with your nipples and suck them until milk comes out.

Me (in a patient, giving mood today)

Hi,

Thanks for your message - I don't offer lactation services as I have never been pregnant. It's a common fetish though so I'm sure if you search through adultwork you'll find someone who does. Though I would advise you to google the risks associated with drinking a strangers breast milk.

Regards...

Him (five seconds later)

No no if I suck hard enough milk will come out, trust me.

.........

I'd actually like to forward a lot of the messages from AW to the minister for education, because clearly - a lot of the male population are just plain old thick.
Ive had something simaler said to me..and something about it makes me cringe BBBrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: naughtyjas on 05 September 2012, 01:03:02 pm
Quote from: orchidperfume on 05 September 2012, 09:01:52 am

This is one my friend recieved .....         Have you had a client with a tall order? well this one will make you laugh.



Client says Hi Babe can you answer the following questions before I book an appointment.

His five questions are:

1.  Likes foot fetish and can he suck toes toos. Includes a foot job/ massage.

2.  To do a blow job and will it be given with or without condom.

3.  To go down on me and would that be  allowed using protection

4.  Show evidence that I am checked regularly (paperwork) to show I am clean.

5. He has this fantasy of a woman giving him a bath whilst holding his penis while he pee,
    can this be incorporated into role play.

Well what do you think girls, he on a another planet.

Yep had that one too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bbwlouise on 05 September 2012, 01:48:31 pm
Yep I had that one also!

I had a classic one yesterday, call I do a deal if he makes me cum !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 05 September 2012, 02:59:22 pm
Quote from: Little Miss Misanthropy on 05 September 2012, 09:06:46 am
Him



I would like to book you for an hour to play with your nipples and suck them until milk comes out.

Me (in a patient, giving mood today)

Hi,

Thanks for your message - I don't offer lactation services as I have never been pregnant. It's a common fetish though so I'm sure if you search through adultwork you'll find someone who does. Though I would advise you to google the risks associated with drinking a strangers breast milk.

Regards...

Him (five seconds later)

No no if I suck hard enough milk will come out, trust me.

I think he's mistaking blood for milk.... :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sadie x on 05 September 2012, 04:46:32 pm
ive just been sick a little! :-[
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Millicient on 05 September 2012, 07:03:36 pm

A client wanted a booking, but he needed to be sure I understood the
five questions before proceeding.

1. He likes foot fetish, suck toes and would like a foot massage.

2. Will a blow job be given with or without a condom.

3. Would he be allowed to to go down using protection.

4. Do I have regular checks and to show the paperwork that I am clean.

5 He has this desire that a woman is giving him a bath whilst holding his

  penis while I pee, can this be incorporated into role play.

Honestly there are some right jerks out there, what's clients have said to you
that's a scream.

Millicent
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 05 September 2012, 07:12:19 pm
Quote from: Millicient on 05 September 2012, 07:03:36 pm

A client wanted a booking, but he needed to be sure I understood the
five questions before proceeding.

1. He likes foot fetish, suck toes and would like a foot massage.

2. Will a blow job be given with or without a condom.

3. Would he be allowed to to go down using protection.

4. Do I have regular checks and to show the paperwork that I am clean.

5 He has this desire that a woman is giving him a bath whilst holding his

  penis while I pee, can this be incorporated into role play.

Honestly there are some right jerks out there, what's clients have said to you
that's a scream.

Millicent

This one is doing the rounds
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 05 September 2012, 08:06:33 pm
Quote from: bbwlouise on 05 September 2012, 01:48:31 pm
Yep I had that one also!

I had a classic one yesterday, call I do a deal if he makes me cum !

Oh I had a champion today....

Is the service free if he makes me cum?

I replied... Sweety you pay me to fake that you managed to please me. Only real men make me cum!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sadie x on 05 September 2012, 08:57:36 pm
just had

u3?
gets me so irratated!!! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bbwlouise on 06 September 2012, 06:29:10 pm
Just had this one! Needless to say I declined lol

I know this is short notice but i am at a loose end and need a fuck could you do a car meet now ish
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 06 September 2012, 09:00:39 pm
We've just spent our evening dealing with a guy who's come across quite timewaster-like in his many many (very short and txt speak) AW messages to us (he also repeatedly messaged us a few days ago wanting to meet right then - gone midnight - and asking absolutely everything), we agreed to meet him around 10:30pm as he wanted our latest time but he continued pestering about this, that and the other detail - seemed very paranoid about being found out seeing an escort etc, and didn't want to text us when he arrived to get our house number as then we'd get his phone number (oh noes!).

One thing that really bugged me was him asking if we'd seen anyone else today, I wanted to tell him it was none of his business and that we would be clean and fresh before his booking anyway but he insisted on knowing so James sent him a message saying we had seen another client but we are discrete so don't discuss details. He then said "well can i cum now?? x" and we said no, we have stuff to do and then need to get ready so if he must come over earlier then 10pm is the best we can do. The following was our final exchange before he was blocked:

Him: plans changed wanted sooner :( x
Us: So are you cancelling tonight's booking entirely, or is 10pm ok?
Him: sorry gta cancel due to changed plans really sorry 4 any loss x
Us: No worries, thanks anyway. *Adds to blocked senders list*

Good riddance - he was exhibiting almost all the timewaster warning signs in the book and we were fed up of dealing with someone who was unlikely to arrive. Should've blocked after his first message on Saturday night:

"hi iam a bi curious man and no another bi curious man and we wanna meet cn
we have fun with u and each other at yours is this possible?? x"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 06 September 2012, 09:03:16 pm
Just had this on the phone:

Him: Hello darling!
Me: Hello.
Him: Do you suck dick?
Me: I beg your pardon?
Him: Do you suck dick? I mean do you give head?
Me: *puts the phone down*

He is still trying to call me and sent a message "when are you next available and where do you live? Do you have anyone to have a ffm 3sum? As I've always wanted one."

Oh dear lord, give me strength!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 06 September 2012, 09:06:32 pm
"I'm phoning for sex wanna shag you"
"Ok, you'll need to make an appointment"
"How much is it?"
"Depends how long you want to book, 1 hour costs ?140 at my place in xxxxxx"
"Oh, errr" (something about his accent and wording made me think he wasn't local or travelling my way)
"Where are you?"
"Manchester"
"I'm 80 miles away were you aware of this?"
"Uh goodbye, goodbye"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 06 September 2012, 09:14:11 pm
"hello this is Friday"
"..is that the escort?"
"yes..this is the Escort  ::)"
"how much is half an hour?"
"where did you get my number from?
"the website.."
"well the website tells you it's minimum 1 hour"
"how much is that then.."
"the website also tells you it's ?100"
*he hangs up*

lol what a charmer

also the most obvious timewaster ever! If you are going to tell stories at east get it straight before you call! hotel meet at 6pm..after he's dropped his wife off at work (also asked if I minded that he was married  ::) ) already has the room number and it's "24"...hmm try harder... Yes at 6pm I was enjoying my dinner not turning up at a city centre hotel wondering why there is not a 24...unsurprisingly he was looking for me either  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 06 September 2012, 09:21:53 pm
Forgot about one earlier;

"Who's this?"
"Who are you wanting to speak to?"
"Is this Tracey?"
"No"
"Uh who is it then?"
"Who are you wanting to speak to?"
"Err who are you?"
"Look what are you phoning for then?"
"Errrr"

I was tempted to introduce myself as a hairdresser or something but I'm not that unhelpful, really. ::)  :D.

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 06 September 2012, 09:56:25 pm
Lol, looks like all the idiots are out tonight!

We just had another one ourselves:

Him: R u free??
Us: Sorry, too late for a booking this evening (blurb about our booking process)
Him: K no thanks please erase number x

Well, no actually we keep all our messages so then we know that you bugged us before!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 08 September 2012, 12:40:40 am
Just got this email...

"You are hilarious. You should be paying to fuck me!!!"

weird thing is.. I have had zero contact with this guy, most random email ever  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 08 September 2012, 12:46:52 am
Quote from: Friday on 08 September 2012, 12:40:40 am
Just got this email...

"You are hilarious. You should be paying to fuck me!!!"

weird thing is.. I have had zero contact with this guy, most random email ever  ::)

The random ones make me laugh. I love them. Like they have ANY right, reason or qualification to send random messages, advice, or comments!

One I had 2 days ago... "juicy profile i do like" - yeah? And?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 08 September 2012, 07:56:00 am
Yeah I had this the other day:

'Hi i hope you don't mind me dropping you a message to say how much I liked your profile,pictures and erotica. Very impressive both in picture and content. I'll be subscribing soon Im sure'

I don't mind them doing this, but I'd rather they just subscribed or did something useful with their time. Don't indulge them with a reply.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 08 September 2012, 10:18:28 am
I hate it when you get the ones who add their mobile numbers and say "fit, toned, handsome with 10" dick call me sometimes when you want to have some fun"

I usually respond with I tend to have fun when I take your money from you.

Or "are you free" No I do have a price list!

I refuse to give out details over the phone.  What are your prices? They are on my profile!  What time are you available?  It is on my profile!  Where are you based? It is on my profile!

Or you get the ones with "you are the sexiest woman on AW at the moment!" OH yippee can I shag you for free!

I tend to ignore idiot lately whether it is phonecalls, email or text and if I answer the phone and the guy calls me babe "I am all of a sudden not available."

And then clients bitch and moan when we ignore idiotic emails.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 08 September 2012, 11:31:18 am
I got this text when I switched my phone this morning: "Hi gorgeous Diana, are you available tonight? Rob"

I usually just delete texts like this if I'm not available but I replied back as it wasn't the usual RU3?: "I'm not sure where you got my number but it you look at my website it details my working hours"

His reply: "Ok" then followed half an hour later with: "So what's your name?"  :FF DELETE!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 08 September 2012, 02:28:10 pm
I have have had this little gem of a text - how I'm not frantically touching up my lippy whilst shimmying into my stockings I will never know, you decide if I am being foolish letting this " gent" slip through my fingers

"how much for you to come here strip suck n fuck"

I replied, " I think you can safely assume I am fully booked until the 12th of never, how rude, at least have some manners when trying to book an appt!"

I may be an escort, prossie whatever but do I really need to accept being spoken to like that?? I think not, a little politeness goes a long way in my book and would have got him in my drawers!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 08 September 2012, 04:04:43 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 08 September 2012, 12:46:52 am

The random ones make me laugh. I love them. Like they have ANY right, reason or qualification to send random messages, advice, or comments!

One I had 2 days ago... "juicy profile i do like" - yeah? And?

ha ha I get them all the time, I dont reply, I have a disclaimer on my profile saying I only respond to questions unless my profile already answers them..

I got a call while I was in the middle of a cam show last night so didnt answer it, the call was followed by a text saying "nice body indeed"

that's it lol  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: naughtyjas on 08 September 2012, 05:57:21 pm
I love aw when it brings me clients like this.  Really, really, really love it    ;)

"Can i see you today or tomorrow ? I would like to lick your juicy pussy . No sex . Only to give you good lick . I do not ask you for any other service . Just to stay with your legs open and you can watch porn movies on tv , its up to you . Can you accept 20? for 10 - 15 min just to let me make you cum with my tongue please ? I'm nice man , 33Y old , very clean, manierat, good looking man . Thx! Please accept my offer and i would love to clean your pussy or your asshole with my tongue"
 
I woud have accepted but I don't know what 'manierat' means and didn't want to look stupid. ;D
If anyone knows what it means pm me for this guys details, he's such a find I wouldn't want to deprive anyone else of this charmer.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 08 September 2012, 06:19:12 pm
manierat? = mannered in romanian - could it mean well mannered ?  Just a guess !

But you can keep him to yourself.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 08 September 2012, 08:06:17 pm
Just an idea but he might have meant married? Sometimes if on a smartphone it can mix up letters like that easily.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 08 September 2012, 08:13:28 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 08 September 2012, 06:19:12 pm
manierat? is mannered in romanian - could it mean well mannered ?  Just a guess !

::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 08 September 2012, 08:23:16 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 08 September 2012, 08:13:28 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 08 September 2012, 06:19:12 pm
manierat? is mannered in romanian - could it mean well mannered ?  Just a guess !

::)
Huh? You already said that?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 08 September 2012, 08:28:45 pm
Quote from: MissKylie on 08 September 2012, 08:06:17 pm
Just an idea but he might have meant married?



Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 08 September 2012, 06:19:12 pm
manierat? is mannered in romanian   ::)

Yes, but you appeared to think I was hazarding a guess.  I was making a statement and not hazarding a guess.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 08 September 2012, 09:42:59 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 08 September 2012, 08:28:45 pm
Quote from: MissKylie on 08 September 2012, 08:06:17 pm
Just an idea but he might have meant married?



Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 08 September 2012, 06:19:12 pm
manierat? is mannered in romanian   ::)

Yes, but you appeared to think I was hazarding a guess.  I was making a statement and not hazarding a guess.
No not at all, not sure where you picked that up from? I knew straight away you were making a factual statement. I was the one making a guess.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 09 September 2012, 01:07:13 pm
woke to an email saying I have received a message through some ad site I am on..

Title "rough kinky sex"

Message "Im interested in seeing if you can pergorm (i assume this means perform) as well as you talk but the cost is on the expensive side so what can you offer me?"

Response "you can go fuck yourself for free how about that........ *rolls eyes*"

What a bloody cheek..

Obviously a copy and paste job as I never "talk" about my performance?!? and my rates are in general cheap!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 09 September 2012, 02:08:15 pm
Quote from: Friday on 09 September 2012, 01:07:13 pm
"you can go fuck yourself for free how about that........ *rolls eyes*"


Love it! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 09 September 2012, 03:23:16 pm
This guy really annoyed me today:

Ring,ring

me: hello
idiot: hello is this Autumn?
me: Yes
idiot: Are you english?
me: Yes as my profile says I am english
idiot: So your not slovakian/ Ukrainian etc?
me: No, can you not tell by my accent
idiot: Oh I'm a little bit more convinced now.

This guy really got my back up. I mean for god sake I have a very british sounding accent. What a moron.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 09 September 2012, 07:12:37 pm
email....

"tonight at 9 ?"

uh huh  ???  ::)  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: dee_licious on 09 September 2012, 07:17:18 pm
Woke up to message on AW this morning.
'What times are you available.'
Sent back general mail that all times and days are listed on my profile. Few minutes after recieved mail back.
'I already knew that!!! I was just trying to start a conversation lol.'
Ugh deleted and blocked
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 09 September 2012, 07:39:21 pm
Annoying spam - There is ?2350 waiting to be claimed in your name
for the mis-selling of ppi on one of your loans.
To get info sent out ASAP reply PPi to this message
NOW

Annoyed Whore - You have phoned Scotland yard
Fraud investigation department.
This is part of ongoing enquiries regarding a PPi claim company scam.
You are required to attend your local police station.
We suggest that you bring legal representation
.... And a tooth brush.

ps.  We know who you are.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 09 September 2012, 08:36:23 pm
Some twat today -

text 1 = Are you available tomorrow

text 2 = Is that ok?

text 3 = I need 1 o clock

text = Oh get lost!

What in the name of fuck?!!! Bearing in mind all of these texts were in the space of 20 mins and when I didn't reply INSTANTLY (well because I have a life!) he gets into a major strop. I called him a bloody weirdo in reply - couldn't help myself!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 09 September 2012, 09:06:41 pm
The best I got was a text saying

Outcall? x

But I tend to hope in vain that they have learn't to leave me alone by now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 09 September 2012, 09:23:19 pm
Quote from: Friday on 09 September 2012, 01:07:13 pm
woke to an email saying I have received a message through some ad site I am on..

Title "rough kinky sex"

Message "Im interested in seeing if you can pergorm (i assume this means perform) as well as you talk but the cost is on the expensive side so what can you offer me?"

Response "you can go fuck yourself for free how about that........ *rolls eyes*"

What a bloody cheek..

Obviously a copy and paste job as I never "talk" about my performance?!? and my rates are in general cheap!  :FF

jesus... his response!

"No need to be so cheaky! If ur not interested and arw busy then fine"  ::) ::) ::)

yes I'll be busy forever!!!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 10 September 2012, 12:27:23 am
Just in!

Title: Hi From Mark



would you know hot jucy lucy number?


Hmmmmm??? Nope!  Any hot jucy lucy's on here wanting me to pass on your number? lmao
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 10 September 2012, 12:58:40 am
numpty: do you escort?
Friday: yes - see profile
numpty: glasgow only?
Friday: are you looking for right now (being 1am)
numpty: this week
Friday: then where are you
Friday: birmingham
IluvJem: lol
IluvJem: uh huh
IluvJem: goodbye

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 10 September 2012, 04:00:04 am
Email just in...

"do you charge by the kilo"



 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 10 September 2012, 04:04:01 am
Ooooh yeah, a stupid o'clock request!!!

tyson787: hi
CatBBW: hiya
tyson787: do you escort
CatBBW: I do
tyson787: you available now
CatBBW: no, not at 4am
tyson787: why
*kicks*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 10 September 2012, 04:34:18 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 10 September 2012, 04:04:01 am
Ooooh yeah, a stupid o'clock request!!!

tyson787: hi
CatBBW: hiya
tyson787: do you escort
CatBBW: I do
tyson787: you available now
CatBBW: no, not at 4am
tyson787: why
*kicks*
I had a call like that recently. Nice guy, night shifts. And a good client! :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 10 September 2012, 08:06:31 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 10 September 2012, 04:00:04 am
Email just in...

"do you charge by the kilo"



 ::)

Sorry but that made me laugh the cheeky bastard.

You should have said no by the inches on your dick which in your case would be 2pounds

Or you should have just said "more cushion for the pushing honey ;)"  I never let idiots like that get to me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bbwlouise on 10 September 2012, 08:15:06 pm
Just had booking for a bj and got this gem!

Can't wait to Wang my cock in your chops tommorrow, would u like a pic of my erect willy so u no what ur dealing with?

Ooooo how can I resist such an offer lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 10 September 2012, 09:04:23 pm
I seem to be being inindated with pm's on AW from idiots lately.

Idiot: Hi I would like to book you.
Me: Ok I need a location, date and time ( along with security info).
Idiot: Im in London.
Me: Well Im in Scotland as stated on profile so will have to say no.

I mean don't they know theres a milage search so they can search for girls near them, instead of just searching for girls who are a certain type and getting everyone who fits what they're after.
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 10 September 2012, 09:38:23 pm
Quote from: bbwlouise on 10 September 2012, 08:15:06 pm
Just had booking for a bj and got this gem!

Can't wait to Wang my cock in your chops tommorrow, would u like a pic of my erect willy so u no what ur dealing with?

Ooooo how can I resist such an offer lol

Rofl omg wang my cock in your chops rofl omg rofl Sorry am cackling here like a deranged cat woman
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 10 September 2012, 09:40:09 pm
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 10 September 2012, 09:04:23 pm
I seem to be being inindated with pm's on AW from idiots lately.

Idiot: Hi I would like to book you.
Me: Ok I need a location, date and time ( along with security info).
Idiot: Im in London.
Me: Well Im in Scotland as stated on profile so will have to say no.

I mean don't they know theres a milage search so they can search for girls near them, instead of just searching for girls who are a certain type and getting everyone who fits what they're after.

I hate it when they call you and...

Hi you in London today?
Hmmmm no, pretty sure I am in Glasgow.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Little_Miss_Misanthropy on 10 September 2012, 10:01:46 pm
Quote from: bbwlouise on 10 September 2012, 08:15:06 pm
Just had booking for a bj and got this gem!

Can't wait to Wang my cock in your chops tommorrow, would u like a pic of my erect willy so u no what ur dealing with?

Ooooo how can I resist such an offer lol

I say yes, and save them...one day I'm going to make a collage (or similar) and hang it in The Tate....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 11 September 2012, 07:52:46 am
Hi babe,
How are you, hope your doing fine and well
saw your pictures OMYGOD sexy boobs and legs
Wonder If you would be able to meet this week thursday
for 3hrs for 300 plus I get some drinks too
Know you are very very safe too and I can trust you too love to try both anal and pussy without as you know I am married too have to be very careful too
I can do the booking online
Hope to hear
Lots of love and kiss

In youre dreams mate !!!! blocked  :-*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 11 September 2012, 08:06:42 am
Quote from: orchidperfume on 11 September 2012, 07:52:46 am
Hi babe,
How are you, hope your doing fine and well
saw your pictures OMYGOD sexy boobs and legs
Wonder If you would be able to meet this week thursday
for 3hrs for 300 plus I get some drinks too
Know you are very very safe too and I can trust you too love to try both anal and pussy without as you know I am married too have to be very careful too
I can do the booking online
Hope to hear
Lots of love and kiss

In youre dreams mate !!!! blocked  :-*
This logic boggles the mind. How the hell does being married=no STIs? I shudder to think what the wife is getting up to if this is what he is doing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Little_Miss_Misanthropy on 11 September 2012, 01:37:52 pm
My first 'I want to whisk you away' phone call:

Him: Babe, I'm not going to be able to make that booking today.

Me (painting toe-nails, thinking about what I'm having for lunch, state of the universe and Eastenders) Aww, no, babe, I was sooo looking forward to it.

Him (sounding breathless): Yeah I really wanted to spunk all over your tits <Pause for more heavy breathing> I'll tell you what. I'm going to Rome next next Thursday for a few days, d'you fancy coming with?

Me (big eye roll, supressing giggles):Wow you want to take me to Rome?!

Him (wanking noises now audible): Yeah, you come to Rome, stay in my hotel, and swallow my cum every night for dinner. You'd love that wouldn't you - swallowing all my cum?

Me (in confused voice): Dude, yeah I'd love to swallow your cum or whatever...but like, what if we hate each other?

Him (pausing wanking for just a mo'): What?No we won't hate each other - we'll get on really well, and you'll be swallowing all my cum...every night <low groan>

Me (in firm, maternal, patient tone of saint):Yeah it's just we've never met, and from this phone call alone I already kind of don't like you, could you imagine how much I'd hate you after a plane trip to Italy?

Him (pleading): What no, don't be silly, you'll love me I swear!

Me (bored now): No, I'm say no. Thanks for the offer babe, take care.

Him: But babe, I know you'll love swallowing my cummmmmmmmm!!!....

>>Click<<

So many other things I'd rather do in Rome than ingest that man's semen...like contracting the plague, or eating Pizza from a bin by the Trevi fountain (also, I know I should have hung up straight away - but I'm very bored and procrastinating).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissM on 11 September 2012, 03:00:00 pm
A delightful text at 4am "U open?" followed by 2 phone calls from the same number at half 5, and then the cheek to ring back this afternoon!   ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 11 September 2012, 07:34:57 pm
Quote from: MissM on 11 September 2012, 03:00:00 pm
A delightful text at 4am "U open?" followed by 2 phone calls from the same number at half 5, and then the cheek to ring back this afternoon!   ::)

I tend to wait till 7am and then call them non stop until they answer their phone lol  ;D Hey act like a tosspot and i will treat you like one.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 11 September 2012, 08:58:12 pm
Quote from: Ginger Wilde on 11 September 2012, 07:34:57 pm
Quote from: MissM on 11 September 2012, 03:00:00 pm
A delightful text at 4am "U open?" followed by 2 phone calls from the same number at half 5, and then the cheek to ring back this afternoon!   ::)

I tend to wait till 7am and then call them non stop until they answer their phone lol  ;D Hey act like a tosspot and i will treat you like one.

Hahahahaha great idea x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Little_Miss_Misanthropy on 12 September 2012, 02:21:01 pm
Email exchange with a guy who lives 2 hours away ends with:

'Babe I'll pay you a hundred quid over your hourly rate just to see you. You'll have to let me treat you like my dirty slut though. Hard anal, water sports, the lot. Let me know Adj xoxox'

Ok four hours travel to be pissed on by an asshole for an extra hundred quid...

Pass.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lunar Moon on 13 September 2012, 07:41:10 pm
 :D

Oh My men never cease to amaze me and make me realise that some are completely devoid of any brains   :-\

Text today:

'Hi I have just been on your site and wondered if you had any events coming up ? luv Steve x'

Felt like saying ' Yes Steve, have an Egg and Spoon race on Saturday if you would like to enter'  :FF lmao .... nearly did but stopped myself  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 13 September 2012, 08:16:31 pm
subject: hi sexy

body: you ok?


 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sara1980 on 13 September 2012, 09:30:11 pm
Email not long in...... (From someone I saw once, well over 16 months ago who claims that he 'likes' me. Emails every few weeks with RIDICULOUS offers)

Subject:   booking now,35 quid,about 20 min
Message: that ok

I'm not working for a couple of days - hurt my back earlier so just explained that I wasn't available......

A few minutes later.....

Message: Can I see you now??? Followed by '5 min I can help you'

By this point I've finally had enough so reply with 'Unless you're a qualified F'ing Chiropractor I can guarantee that you wouldn't be able to help.'

His reply? 'I have cash and beer.'
 
These people are allowed out on their own?!   :FF   :FF  Lol!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 13 September 2012, 11:00:52 pm
Always on the looking for new business opportunities, we made the mistake of posting to Craigslist the other day. Had a few messages before our ad got flagged and removed, including this gent:

<Advert clearly stating that we're escorts, linking to our AW profile and website, and including the rates on our ad>

Him: HI there, male here 29 in shape big cock only up the road at <location nearby>. You two look like fun, i've been looking for a male/female 3sum for ages but im assuming from your advert you want paying am i right.

Us: <Blah blah polite note that we're a professional, indie escort couple and do indeed charge, again here are our rates and our website/AW links>

Him: Hi Amy/James
Thank you for responding to my email.
I respect you for doing this in a professional manor, but I am not at a point in my life yet where I feel I need to Pay for sex.
All the best with your venture
Take Care
<SomeDude>

At least he was polite about it but still...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 13 September 2012, 11:19:19 pm
RUDE little shit...came into webcam freeview and lurked, then left, then sent me this message...

From opp**: hi will you laugh and make fun of me for being a 23 yr old ugly muslim virgin with a tiny 4.5 inch dick whos never been kissed or hugged too. For having acne and acne scars and no friends. I feel pathetic and I'm really horny. Please make me wear girls panties. Please make me feel more pathetic and horny and never let me cum again. Please keep me like this

From ME: Yes I will humilate you. I hope you're willing to pay, you pathetic sissy worm dick.

From opp**: No I can't pay. I'm really horny that is why I messaged you but actually I'm not sure anymore after seeing that pic of your ass in your movies section.

(I should have deleted and blocked then, but having seen he had an old alies with over 800 messages sent, I thought I'd send one more message in reply...)

From ME: This isn't a dating site. You PAY for ladies to pay attention to you. No pay, no play.

From opp**: You asking for money! lol Even if I had that amount of credits I still would not pay you. There would be no reason to pay you when I could pay better looking girls. Your lucky I was really horny and even asked you.


AAAAAAANNNNNND......blocked. Twat.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 14 September 2012, 01:21:24 am
and the next... (is it a full moon??)

wen u ready 4 me


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Little_Miss_Misanthropy on 14 September 2012, 09:48:08 am
Are you available you're gorgeous?!

From a guy with loads of feedback that says he books you then when you arrive tells you you're not worth ?xxx p/h and offers you half. Oh and if you get to stay he wants you to rim him for an hour.

I think I'm permanently engaged mate.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: justgee84 on 14 September 2012, 12:38:06 pm
Had this WONDERFUL text exchange last night:

him: I need 2hrs tonight please.
Me: Sorry I'm finished with incalls for today (this being 7pm and me finishing at 5), but I can do an outcall until 11pm x
Him: You work very unsociable hours. Can't do outcall as family staying with me.
Me: Ok, well my hours are 9am-5pm during the week and outcalls anytime after 6pm with a good few hours' notice.
Him: I'm a professional male, and work until 5pm, you should see me tonight as I have been trying to book you for weeks
Me: (knowing full well he's never contacted me EVER) Well I can't work 24/7 hun, those are my hours. If you want to book then it would need to be within those times.
Him: But those hours do not suit professional men. Perhaps you're not suitable for professional men may be?
Me: Perhaps it's just you pal.
Him: Pal sounds weird, bye.

ROFL I love it when a) punters try to depict your working hours and b) freaking them out by my yorkshire dialect and mannerisms  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: improbablecats on 14 September 2012, 02:28:51 pm
Quote from: justgee84 on 14 September 2012, 12:38:06 pm
Had this WONDERFUL text exchange last night:

him: I need 2hrs tonight please.
Me: Sorry I'm finished with incalls for today (this being 7pm and me finishing at 5), but I can do an outcall until 11pm x
Him: You work very unsociable hours. Can't do outcall as family staying with me.
Me: Ok, well my hours are 9am-5pm during the week and outcalls anytime after 6pm with a good few hours' notice.
Him: I'm a professional male, and work until 5pm, you should see me tonight as I have been trying to book you for weeks
Me: (knowing full well he's never contacted me EVER) Well I can't work 24/7 hun, those are my hours. If you want to book then it would need to be within those times.
Him: But those hours do not suit professional men. Perhaps you're not suitable for professional men may be?
Me: Perhaps it's just you pal.
Him: Pal sounds weird, bye.

ROFL I love it when a) punters try to depict your working hours and b) freaking them out by my yorkshire dialect and mannerisms  ;D

URG. I hate this sort of thing. I work similar hours to you, and get all sorts of clients -- especially professional men who've advanced to the point in their career that they can slip out of work whenever they want. Perhaps suggest he tries for a promotion and then when no-one's looking over his shoulder he can come and see you.

[Although, he sounds like a bit of a twat anyway if he has to use his 'professional' status to convince people to see him ... I'd remind him that it doesn't matter whether he's a judge or a binman so long as he's a decent, respectful human being.]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 14 September 2012, 02:45:04 pm
Just dealt with a bit of a timewaster here - he booked us for 2pm and confirmed the booking yesterday (our usual process) and then we rushed out and back to the gym this morning and got all showered and dressed ready for 2pm only to wait. We text him at 2:10 and asked if he was still coming - he replied and said he'd been late out of work and would be another 45 mins, this for a 30 min booking! We said that he'd have to rebook for another day and we got this:

"Oh really, I'm on my way, shame"
"No time today?"
(we reply to repeat that if he can't be on time for a booking then he loses the slot)
"Ok.. A service provider with a smile, right?"
"No time later this evening?"
(Again repeat that not today and that of course we always have a smile)

He had a bit of a timewaster whiff from the beginning, he text us claiming he'd sent a message on AW and that he hadn't had a reply but we didn't see any messages from the name he said he uses on there.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aliya on 15 September 2012, 12:52:13 am
Im guessing as im new i have to get used to these silly requests and TW's.   :FF

Had one guy ask if we could meet and have i got smelly feet???. He wanted them to smell as bad as possible and asked if i had any corns. ??? ??? ???  WTF. that grossed me out.

and then this.

Hi

I am local to you and looking for regular hand relief, I take literally 60 seconds to cum, truth. Do you think you could give me 60 seconds of your time and your hand for 20 pounds please? I am looking for this every other day, I work close to you, very regular. 60 seconds.
Thanks for your time.

Luckily my very 1st meet was a gent and it was an overnight which was a big risk but it included champagne, flowers, sexy lingerie, lovely meal, great night. so its not put me off.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Little_Miss_Misanthropy on 15 September 2012, 02:34:34 pm
Seriously, some of the Reverse Bookings on AW are just a joke, read one today from a guy who wants you to meet him in a see through top with no bra (!) and a tiny skirt with no knickers. Then he wants to take you for a drink in this clobber (public humiliation, pass - I die a bit inside when they want to take me for dinner, I think everyone must know and find it cringey) and afterwards onto a romantic dogging session where you can do all the guys you want (gee whizz, lucky for you) in a field - all for the princely sum of ?300.

He makes it sound like you're winning the lotto if he picks you...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 15 September 2012, 04:09:39 pm
A text from a guy who's already on my reject list, so I don't even know he's calling  ;D

"Why dont u pick up i bet your eating cream cakes arnt u"

Good effort, but not good enough to get a reply lol
 
TW's are bored this Saturday...

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 15 September 2012, 07:22:49 pm
Ooooh yes please!!!

Quote
Hello I hope you are well.x
My name is Steve and I am from Stafford, I am 5,8,slim, brown eyes and shaved head,I do drive and do not smoke. I also do drink too.x
I have turned to being a slave with my friends aunt Louise in Cannnock-I served her for 3 years-she worked at Tesco and had 2 children, and was going through a divorce with her husband.x
I used to crawl on all fours, in her thongs, naked, lick her shoes, lick her feet, be her footstool, hand feed her chocs and wine, clean, cook, do the dishes and laundry, be her driver, I would wash her in the bath, masage her fromm head to toe, and even wipe her after she had a wee, would also bring flowers and drinks too.x
I am genuine and would do all that you ask .
Mistress Louise is my friends aunt-I went to his birthday party in Cannock, and met her there, she and I got tipsy-she told me about the divorce, and that she had enough of men- and wanted a slave!-I loved the idea and it turned me on totally!!.
So the next night I went over to her house and then it started from there, my friend never knew and still does not, she has now emigrated back to Dublin with her kids.x
I am looking for the same that I had with her, and am begging you to allow me the chance to pamper you.x

Slavexx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mi on 15 September 2012, 09:10:38 pm
Just had a guy message me this
                       My fantasy is to indulge with an escort taking 'substances' to enhance our pleasure (and get you extra horny, vulnerable and suggestible),
This just sets so many alarm bells ringing, does he really think i'd reply to this?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady c on 15 September 2012, 09:19:47 pm
omg not lotto euro millions
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 15 September 2012, 09:36:33 pm
i have a proposition for you hear me out

Im a 6ft 3 240 pound MMA fighter, ex cop, who offers protection and enforcement services to escorts, dealers and anyone else who requires me.

I am NOT a pimp and do not take any money from your normal successful jobs. What i do offer is a service should either a client not pay, or become aggressive, and you need funds collected.

My payment would be a flat percentage of the amount im recovering for you and should all your meets go successfully and you get payment and everything goes smooth then i would never be needed and wouldn't take a penny, I cant stress enough im NOT a pimp.

I already offer these services to a handful of escorts and some other groups as well and have experience in doing so.

If you want to discuss further you can contact me by phone or i can meet you in public in person. I am NOT looking for payment in the form of any sexual favours and would never ask for such I am strictly a professional

message back if this is something you would be interested in. I can also offer a minding service should you have any apprehensions of any clients where by i would take you to the address wait outside and take you home, and should anything go wrong im literally a 10 second run from you, once again prices negotiable.




eh ok.. That's just how I want to run my business  ::) ::) ::)

should just add his profile says he is 22 pfft ha ha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 15 September 2012, 09:53:43 pm
Quote from: Friday on 15 September 2012, 09:36:33 pm
i have a proposition for you hear me out

Im a 6ft 3 240 pound MMA fighter, ex cop, who offers protection and enforcement services to escorts, dealers and anyone else who requires me.

I am NOT a pimp and do not take any money from your normal successful jobs. What i do offer is a service should either a client not pay, or become aggressive, and you need funds collected.

My payment would be a flat percentage of the amount im recovering for you and should all your meets go successfully and you get payment and everything goes smooth then i would never be needed and wouldn't take a penny, I cant stress enough im NOT a pimp.

I already offer these services to a handful of escorts and some other groups as well and have experience in doing so.

If you want to discuss further you can contact me by phone or i can meet you in public in person. I am NOT looking for payment in the form of any sexual favours and would never ask for such I am strictly a professional

message back if this is something you would be interested in. I can also offer a minding service should you have any apprehensions of any clients where by i would take you to the address wait outside and take you home, and should anything go wrong im literally a 10 second run from you, once again prices negotiable.




eh ok.. That's just how I want to run my business  ::) ::) ::)

should just add his profile says he is 22 pfft ha ha

OMG...sounds a  lovely bloke...like a loan shark...just the kind of person you want to work with! Imagine getting on the wrong side of him! EEEK! however seeing the he's 22 bit makes me think he's actually a fantasist!  I had a TW exactly like that and same age too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sarahyorks on 15 September 2012, 10:03:51 pm
I am an educated, friendly white English guy and I am looking for an overnight girlfriend experience. Why don't you join me at my apartment overlooking the Thames with spectacular views of London at night for a glass of wine and some sexy fun?

I am looking for a young slim (size 6-10) girl, ideally new to escorting and not so experienced, who would enjoy receiving oral to reach orgasm, giving blowjob without and having sex with an experienced older guy.

You can visit me tonight from 10.30pm onwards. You can also visit me on Sunday morning anytime between 8am and 10am or Sunday evening at 8pm. Also possible to arrange other dates/times.


I've just read this one, he's asking for ?200. No wonder he wants someone new and not experienced...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 15 September 2012, 10:19:50 pm
Miss Misanthropy I cant believe that guys is still doing that reverse booking request   hes been doing the same 1  for over 2 year now !!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 15 September 2012, 10:36:14 pm
Quote from: sarahyorks on 15 September 2012, 10:03:51 pm
I am an educated, friendly white English guy and I am looking for an overnight girlfriend experience. Why don't you join me at my apartment overlooking the Thames with spectacular views of London at night for a glass of wine and some sexy fun?

I am looking for a young slim (size 6-10) girl, ideally new to escorting and not so experienced, who would enjoy receiving oral to reach orgasm, giving blowjob without and having sex with an experienced older guy.

You can visit me tonight from 10.30pm onwards. You can also visit me on Sunday morning anytime between 8am and 10am or Sunday evening at 8pm. Also possible to arrange other dates/times.


I've just read this one, he's asking for ?200. No wonder he wants someone new and not experienced...


Think the worst I've ever seen was someone wanting to film a gang bang bb for ?50...and he had bids!!!!!!!  Always amazes me how many bb requests get so many bids. Russian roulette:-(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sarahyorks on 15 September 2012, 11:44:06 pm
The RB system has paid dividends to me in the past, and got a few regs from it. I always find the RBs with no notes to be the most genuine
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 16 September 2012, 12:59:44 am
Quote from: Coty on 15 September 2012, 10:36:14 pm

Think the worst I've ever seen was someone wanting to film a gang bang bb for ?50...and he had bids!!!!!!!  Always amazes me how many bb requests get so many bids. Russian roulette:-(

he has bids but there is no reason the bids arent for much more money....why bother i dont know but i have seem some RBS were gys just put in a figure because they have to and ask the girls to nae there price
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ChelseaGirl on 16 September 2012, 01:46:03 am
Guy from eros, -
- text messages wanting rates
-i send him rates
- messages wanting a discount
- i tell him no
 - texts asking for a discount on a longer booking
- i tell him no
- texts saying he will book for normal rate
- i reluctantly agree
- messages half an hour before to confirm that he will be paying HALF my rate
- tell him no
- he doesnt show uo
- 24 TEXT MESSAGES THIS EVENING telling me im not worth my rate (he never met me! ) and how can i ask that he pay so much to see me when i would enjoy it as much as him!!!!
- Attempts to re book
-  tell him no and stop messaging me
- now he's messaging me to confirm an appointment i didnt agree to!!

This is starting to feel like harassment!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 16 September 2012, 10:53:54 pm
Just had a guy contact us on Adultwork from a profile he's had for all of 5 hours:

"hi u 2 busy this week in towm on biz thanks steve"
(we reply to ask him what day and time is good for him etc)
"Hi im at the fairmont on strand was looking for wild 3some have hot tub suite im like lingere dp?"
...Yeah, we're in Southampton, the Fairmont Hotel on The Strand is in London. So we replied to that effect (no outcalls to London etc etc)

Not had anything back as yet...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 17 September 2012, 11:47:43 am
Just got it on AW

Hey darling ;) will u do half an hour for ?40 at 12 sweetheart? xxx
 

Blocked right away
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 17 September 2012, 04:02:49 pm
Quote from: foreign affairs on 17 September 2012, 11:47:43 am
Just got it on AW

Hey darling ;) will u do half an hour for ?40 at 12 sweetheart? xxx
 

Blocked right away

Just another proof that idiots are far from extinct, they really do make me dislike all the other (often innocent) men out there sometimes!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 17 September 2012, 07:43:21 pm
some guy phoned me earlier and all he said was...

"can i buy you a phone top up?"

I was stunned i just hang up...  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BevOsteen on 17 September 2012, 08:11:02 pm
Quote from: Friday on 17 September 2012, 07:43:21 pm
some guy phoned me earlier and all he said was...

"can i buy you a phone top up?"

I was stunned i just hang up...  ???

One guy texted me asking if I wanted phone top-up I ignored him and an hour later he texted me a voucher number for 20 quid and that was the end of him never met him and let alone hear from him which was very strange.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 17 September 2012, 08:36:18 pm
Someone bought me an itunes voucher for 30quid once because they saw on Twitter that I liked buying music. Fab.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Little_Miss_Misanthropy on 18 September 2012, 01:33:10 pm
Reverse Booking on AW:


I would like to receive a BJ then when I am nearly ready to cum I would like to give you WS on mouth and face while hard before giving a cum facial. You can also piss on me too. I would like to try this outdoors but can be at your place. Just let me know your preferences when bidding.

I would like to film if you would like a copy to sell on your profile.

All for the fabulous price of ?40....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 18 September 2012, 02:25:48 pm
bargain billy and his horny willy!!!!

where do I bid????????????  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 18 September 2012, 05:40:21 pm
I just received a message on my work phone:

"Hello! Sorry ive taken so long to text you lol how're you? You never even told me your name..."

Hahahahahahaha  :D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 18 September 2012, 05:46:14 pm
And another one just now from the same number:

"Add me on Facebook x"

I'm laughing so hard, sad wanker  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sarahyorks on 18 September 2012, 07:20:47 pm
Quote from: Little Miss Misanthropy on 18 September 2012, 01:33:10 pm
Reverse Booking on AW:


I would like to receive a BJ then when I am nearly ready to cum I would like to give you WS on mouth and face while hard before giving a cum facial. You can also piss on me too. I would like to try this outdoors but can be at your place. Just let me know your preferences when bidding.

I would like to film if you would like a copy to sell on your profile.

All for the fabulous price of ?40....

Ever the gentleman
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 18 September 2012, 07:28:48 pm
Miss M does he do this at the circus as well, sounds like a tricky act !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 18 September 2012, 09:33:59 pm
Got this email this evening, I know this makes the rounds, just the first time I've had it and I just wanted to post my fiance's response to it because it was funny :P 

Hi Sweety,
I am 32 & a businessman. I have my own house. I live in London. You look beautiful. Well I dont have any Girlfriend. If you can become my GF & sex partner then I can give you a room to live in my house FREE ! I will give you a very pleasant bedroom with a nice view, very cosy for both of us to have fun & my house has all facilities including wifi, free phone calls, etc for you. Moreover you can earn a lot & have work outside during day & I have no problems for that. I save your money so you can think patiently before saying '' NO '' in a haste ! This is a serious offer from me & I am a genuine person. We can chat online & plan something seriously if you co-operate. You make my life easy & in return I make yours ! I have a very high sex drive for which I cannot pay cash everyday so I want some permanent FREE arrangement. Please dont ask me for coming in private - i dont wish to spend money. As I said above I give u everything FREE & in return u give me FREE. So you send me your Hotmail, Yahoo or Skype ID so we can chat & plan seriously. My Yahoo ID is:
Idiot@yahoo.com
I will wait for your reply soon. Thanks . . .

Let me compress this email for you:
"Looking for sex slave"
Let me compress my response for you:
"**** off, loser"
Kind Regards,
Alexa
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 18 September 2012, 09:45:01 pm
Alexa, I had that one the other day, Im in Scotland you would think he would have the sense to only email London girls lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 18 September 2012, 09:51:26 pm
Yeah, I'm in Scotland too. Maybe he's run out of people in London to bother with it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 18 September 2012, 10:29:48 pm
Yeah like anyone is going to move hundreds of miles to live with a complete stranger.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 18 September 2012, 10:40:24 pm
I sincerely hope no one would move even an inch to become someones unpaid sex toy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 18 September 2012, 10:41:41 pm
awwww I haven't been offered this - what's wrong with me???  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 18 September 2012, 10:57:11 pm
dont you hate it when what looks like a booking slowly and subtly turns into a timewaster...

Guy phones for booking... details given nooo problems great  ;D

Hours later texts come in..

"forgot to ask earlier. does it matter how experienced I am?"

me "no of course not" hoping that's it..

new text "is a virgin bad"

 :FF :FF :FF

Now I just know I will wake up tomorrow and he will have canceled.....

As soon as I hear that word "virgin" instant timewaster  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: improbablecats on 18 September 2012, 11:45:49 pm
Quote from: Friday on 18 September 2012, 10:57:11 pm
dont you hate it when what looks like a booking slowly and subtly turns into a timewaster...

Guy phones for booking... details given nooo problems great  ;D

Hours later texts come in..

"forgot to ask earlier. does it matter how experienced I am?"

me "no of course not" hoping that's it..

new text "is a virgin bad"

 :FF :FF :FF

Now I just know I will wake up tomorrow and he will have canceled.....

As soon as I hear that word "virgin" instant timewaster  :FF

It might be because I advertise that I'm very happy to see inexperienced men, but I get quite a few of these, and luckily none of them have been TWs yet. :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 19 September 2012, 01:23:37 am
Quote from: improbablecats on 18 September 2012, 11:45:49 pm
It might be because I advertise that I'm very happy to see inexperienced men, but I get quite a few of these, and luckily none of them have been TWs yet. :)

every single one i get are complete fantasists!

Maybe this one will prove me wrong... he at least gave me an address lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lost in Translation on 19 September 2012, 10:33:31 am
fuckwit: How much is a quick handjob?

me: I charge for time, not item

fuckwit: how much is five minutes?

me: five minutes is fuck off.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lost in Translation on 19 September 2012, 10:35:17 am
I've had nothing but complete wankwags this morning texting me after waking up from a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong epic dream of seeing my ex girlfriends all over again. UGH> cranky 'ho!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 19 September 2012, 01:05:44 pm
Quote from: Friday on 19 September 2012, 01:23:37 am
Quote from: improbablecats on 18 September 2012, 11:45:49 pm
It might be because I advertise that I'm very happy to see inexperienced men, but I get quite a few of these, and luckily none of them have been TWs yet. :)

every single one i get are complete fantasists!

Maybe this one will prove me wrong... he at least gave me an address lol

oh what a surprise he canceled!

I am outcalls only..its funny how most TWs will give you thier real address. I switched my phone on to several texts from hims saying he'd canceled and obviously wanting me to respond ro confirm I wont just turn up. He has text and called since.... I am ignoring them of course let him sweat it out until the booking time passes  ;D  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BevOsteen on 19 September 2012, 02:19:27 pm
Quote from: Lost in Translation on 19 September 2012, 10:33:31 am
fuckwit: How much is a quick handjob?

me: I charge for time, not item

fuckwit: how much is five minutes?

me: five minutes is fuck off.

Good one serves him right, idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xnataliax on 19 September 2012, 06:47:45 pm
Hi all! I have been doing this only a few months but already the stupidity of some men makes me wonder how the function on a daily basis in society. had a phone call last week which seemed to be going ok and he booked for a 2hour apt for the following day. fine and we hung up. next day i get a text from him,

'weirdo'- can i ask you something?
me- (here we go) yes?
weirdo- can i squeeze you?
me- ..... excuse me?
weirdo- can i squeeze you? you know, like an orange....
me- I'm afraid i have to cancel our apt as I'm not feeling to fruity today.click

another genius two weeks ago on the phone, after booking apt
genius- which hotel are you in?
me- such and such hotel.
genius- ok my mum should be able to drop off after work.
me- em how old are you.
genius- 32.....
me- rightttttttt
genius- im not odd my mum just likes to know im safe

sweet jesus  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 19 September 2012, 09:35:28 pm
Quote from: xnataliax on 19 September 2012, 06:47:45 pm
another genius two weeks ago on the phone, after booking apt
genius- which hotel are you in?
me- such and such hotel.
genius- ok my mum should be able to drop off after work.
me- em how old are you.
genius- 32.....
me- rightttttttt
genius- im not odd my mum just likes to know im safe

sweet jesus  ::)

 :o :o :o

as my husband always says...."they're paying for a reason" ha ha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 20 September 2012, 08:54:48 am
Quote from: Friday on 19 September 2012, 09:35:28 pm
Quote from: xnataliax on 19 September 2012, 06:47:45 pm
another genius two weeks ago on the phone, after booking apt
genius- which hotel are you in?
me- such and such hotel.
genius- ok my mum should be able to drop off after work.
me- em how old are you.
genius- 32.....
me- rightttttttt
genius- im not odd my mum just likes to know im safe

sweet jesus  ::)

 :o :o :o

as my husband always says...."they're paying for a reason" ha ha
I really shouldn't be reading this in public. This made me spill my coffee on myself. LOL!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: justgee84 on 20 September 2012, 01:58:24 pm
Quote from: Friday on 19 September 2012, 09:35:28 pm
Quote from: xnataliax on 19 September 2012, 06:47:45 pm
another genius two weeks ago on the phone, after booking apt
genius- which hotel are you in?
me- such and such hotel.
genius- ok my mum should be able to drop off after work.
me- em how old are you.
genius- 32.....
me- rightttttttt
genius- im not odd my mum just likes to know im safe

sweet jesus  ::)

 :o :o :o

as my husband always says...."they're paying for a reason" ha ha

Amen to that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 20 September 2012, 05:21:12 pm
Quote from: dee_licious on 20 March 2012, 10:07:49 am
recieved this earlier copy and paste jobby
Hi Sexy,

I was hoping to get to meet you some day soon. I am often near you on business and looking for some fun! I am in my 30s, good looking and fit i am told - I play a lot of rugby and enjoy a good workout!! I am just not getting enough at home. Sound familiar? I would love to have a gorgeous thing like you, but there is a problem - I have a very large 'thing' - my missus calls it the Beast! Sounds great, what every man wants, but it makes it difficult with many ladies. Most are just not able to take me - it has certainly been a problem in the past! There is a pic of it next to some refreshing Coke!. More pics can of course be taken! If you deep throut me I would be very impressed! My company has a deal with Marriott and Hilton Hotels, so I will normally be in one of those.
Please let me know your thoughts

Hope to hear from you soon

xxx

and yes said pics are there  ::)


We had this one a few months back, and had a bit of back-and-forth chat with him (back before we learnt not to feed the trolls TW wankers). Basically he claims to visit nearby on business, asks various questions all about how big your 'hole' is, and then wants you to take photos of sticking various large objects inside and taking pics to show him that you're wide enough. Ugh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 20 September 2012, 07:31:49 pm
Are you available for a 15 minute booking today and where are you based?

 :FF 
He's 18, I'm 53.
In big bold letters on my AW it says I'm not working right now.
And further down in big bold letters it says I only do outcalls!

I just deleted and blocked but sooo wanted to have a rant!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 20 September 2012, 11:30:02 pm
It seemed that last night all the idiots were out in force, after we were done for the night we got 4 people wasting our time:

Idiot 1 (by text): Hi there i am wondering if your available tonight. Cant call yet because my girlfriend is still here but goes to work at 8
Reply to us not being free: Shame i am a young guy ex porn for english lads. Would love to meet tonight to forfill my fantasy x
Final reply after exchange in which he asked if we crossdress or do anal and us saying we didn't: Thats fine i dont mind that but shame you couldn't sex my mans ass with strap on why your friend fuck me hard x

Idiot 2 also text wanting to meet last night and then actually went through to booking a meet for today, though had asked a few timewaster-ish things and surprise surprise didn't turn up this afternoon.

Idiot 3 had text us at 3:20am a few days ago asking if we were free and pretty much sent the same message again last night at the slightly more reasonable time of 11:20pm.

Very shortly after Idiot 3 had been told our working hours, Idiot 4 messages on Adultwork:

Subject: Hotel Meet    
Hello

Appreciate it is very late on in the day.

On a business trip.

Had looked at your profile before setting off - but didnt get in touch.

Are you able to provide a 2 hour meeting for tonight?

Regards

We did reply to tell him no and why we won't do a late night, short notice outcall. No reply to that...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Foxing on 20 September 2012, 11:34:48 pm
Guy with no feedback

'do you squirt'

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 21 September 2012, 08:19:51 pm
Oh dear, I think reading this thread has made us a little cynical and prone to be more blunt with apparent TWs...

TW: Hey ya how's u x
Us: Good thanks :). Did you want to make a booking? x
TW: Well I saw ur profile, pretty intregued. Thinking about it this weekend. So who's this soz x
Us: Glad you liked the profile. This is <us>, our website is: <website>, Our availability this weekend is <availability>
TW: I can't use the net. What are ur limits, this James? X
Us: Sorry but we don't dicuss details - not a free sex chat/text line. If you found our profile on the web you must be able to use the web :). All our details are on there, contact us again if you'd like to book. x

No reply thus far. Job complete!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 21 September 2012, 09:09:44 pm
I love Fridays!

Just had a guy turn up 20min late, off his face on coke, asking if I was ok with him doing a couple of lines, followed by him enquiring about every single service that I don't offer, i.e bareback, anal, CIM etc. I chucked him out, but not without an argument. I'm done for tonight.

Stupid messages keep on coming, the most recent one:

I see you need ideas on how to keep you entertained, would this do it... having a 44 year old naked man kissing licking and worshipping your feet and high heels whilst he wanked himself, him asking if he can cum and you saying No until he begs and then you make him cum into your shoe which you slip your foot into and then take of the shoe and make him lick your foot and your shoe clean. Steve xx

I replied: Sounds great, but you will have to present me with a new pair of shoes :)

His reply: Ok, but will I still have to pay?  :FF


I derive a great deal of perverse pleasure from expanding my 'blacklist', I had to create a new group of contacts on my phone as there are no spaces left on the REJECT LIST lol! I love my little descriptions for all the different specimens of phone wankers and TW's, so that I can at least have a laugh when they try and call me again...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 21 September 2012, 10:00:45 pm
OMG...I just had the most UNBELIEVABLE request from an American regular of mine. He's in town next week but his wife is coming along with him to sightsee while he's in meetings..

How are you?  Hope well.
Wild idea.  Any chance you could rent car and pick me and wife up at Hertz car rental at Heathrow Monday late afternoon?  I have introduced the idea that I know you as driver for **** (company I deal with).
You could drive us and have beer or something on arrival at my hotel.
Of course you have to be able to keep it light????????



 

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xnataliax on 21 September 2012, 10:06:41 pm
keep it light?? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 21 September 2012, 10:12:20 pm
Quote from: xnataliax on 21 September 2012, 10:06:41 pm
keep it light?? ???


Yeah like IF I agreed I'd be all over him with his wife there...what a tosser!
And how would he pass me over the money for the car rental, and my time in front of her?
Bit of an expensive free taxi ride from this company he deals with lmao
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 22 September 2012, 04:56:16 am
Quote from: Coty on 21 September 2012, 10:00:45 pm
OMG...I just had the most UNBELIEVABLE request from an American regular of mine. He's in town next week but his wife is coming along with him to sightsee while he's in meetings..

How are you?  Hope well.
Wild idea.  Any chance you could rent car and pick me and wife up at Hertz car rental at Heathrow Monday late afternoon?  I have introduced the idea that I know you as driver for **** (company I deal with).
You could drive us and have beer or something on arrival at my hotel.
Of course you have to be able to keep it light????????
Girl, I see that going so wrong in so many ways.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 22 September 2012, 09:05:21 pm
subject: mmmmm

body: tat pussy needs a gud lickin let me no wen ur ready


DELETED & BLOCKED
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 23 September 2012, 12:02:27 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 22 September 2012, 09:05:21 pm
subject: mmmmm

body: tat pussy needs a gud lickin let me no wen ur ready


DELETED & BLOCKED

What an absolute classic, I'm cracking up, not had one of these for a while myself, I'm dealing mostly with 'u do bb bbe?'  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 24 September 2012, 12:00:10 pm
I had this gem sent at stupid o clock - how much should I charge?????   ;D

WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO EITHER SHIT/PISS IN MY MOUTH DIRECT OR POST TO ME YOUR PISS/SHIT ALONG WITH INSTRUCTIONS AS REGARDS TO YOUR PREFFERRED USE THEROF? IF SO HOW MUCH WOULD YOU CHARGE? IF YOU SPECIFY A SENSIBLE CHARGE I WILL BE ABLE TO AFFORD YOU REGULARLY. X

blocked!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 24 September 2012, 12:56:07 pm
Some people.
Guy calls, wants to know when I am starting, I say 12pm, he then says he will call back. Then asks if there is anything I need. I jokingly say, some phone credit, and coffee. How or why he introverts this to mean I want to have coffee with him, is beyond me.
He texts, calls, and finally gets the hump because I wouldnt met him for coffee! Wtf!?

Blocked!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sadie x on 24 September 2012, 01:38:39 pm
A few times today when someone has called,ive ansewered and asked them to call in half hour,as i cant talk and im busy..
and then they start texting,where are you?how much?What uniforms do you have?(the most frequent,irratating question im asked!!!)
One guy i snapped and text "if i cant talk,why would i be able to text?"i said ring in half hour"
his reply" Texting is not talking"
OH pissoff!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 24 September 2012, 04:26:43 pm
Quote from: reneesme on 24 September 2012, 12:00:10 pm
I had this gem sent at stupid o clock - how much should I charge?????   ;D

WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO EITHER SHIT/PISS IN MY MOUTH DIRECT OR POST TO ME YOUR PISS/SHIT ALONG WITH INSTRUCTIONS AS REGARDS TO YOUR PREFFERRED USE THEROF? IF SO HOW MUCH WOULD YOU CHARGE? IF YOU SPECIFY A SENSIBLE CHARGE I WILL BE ABLE TO AFFORD YOU REGULARLY. X

blocked!!

I received the same and advised him(amongst other things) that typing in capitals is usually interpreted as shouting.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 24 September 2012, 10:18:57 pm
So the e-mail on AW:

"Hello there gorgeous would you ever be Interested in joining the porn industry?? X"

I nearly went on a rant about how I'm already a member of the porn indistry. I don't sell pictures of my teddy bear in my private gallery!  :FF

I replied saying that I wasn't interested in letting him record a booking with his camera phone.  No reply yet so I guess that was the wrong answer  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 24 September 2012, 10:41:43 pm
After receiving this infernal text 3 times in a row.
Can you please send me a sexy pic of you
I replied: can you stop sending me the same stupid texts?
Still waiting for the genius' reply.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 24 September 2012, 10:54:17 pm
Had the same text the last 3 days running , *can you fuck me with youre hard cock*, bit difficult as im a woman !!! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 24 September 2012, 11:32:49 pm
This just in! Regular client of mine who likes extreme things, wants to take it to another level, and meet in a graveyard, be tied to a grave stone, and pissed on! I am an adventurous girl, but desercrating a grave is not in my bucket list of things to do as a Dom. WTF, is in the air lately?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sadie x on 24 September 2012, 11:52:25 pm
Quote from: VioletteUK on 24 September 2012, 11:32:49 pm
This just in! Regular client of mine who likes extreme things, wants to take it to another level, and meet in a graveyard, be tied to a grave stone, and pissed on! I am an adventurous girl, but desercrating a grave is not in my bucket list of things to do as a Dom. WTF, is in the air lately?
now there getting riiculous..fantasys are just going to bizarre!
its strange these days if a guy just wants a massage and suck!
im like "are you ok"?
sure you dont want a side order of a dump,with that??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 25 September 2012, 12:00:09 am
Yep they are def getting weird, just saw a RB on AW where the guy says he would like to whip your pussy. I really hope its a spelling mistake otherwise OUCH.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sarahyorks on 25 September 2012, 12:27:10 am
Quote from: orchidperfume on 24 September 2012, 10:54:17 pm
Had the same text the last 3 days running , *can you fuck me with youre hard cock*, bit difficult as im a woman !!!

see to me this reads as 'you are hard cock'which makes things all the more confusing

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Little_Miss_Misanthropy on 25 September 2012, 02:30:48 am
Ten page long message from guy - which started with 'I don't like to boast'...then went on to boast of yacht, city job, giant penis etc. etc. blah,blah,bleurgh.

Ended with;

'I want to book you but a guy like me only books high class grlz and you havent mentioned that your high class anywhere in youre profile can you message me back and let me know'.

WTF?! Dude you found me on Adultwork, I think you've answered your own question....



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kitty_of_Herts on 25 September 2012, 09:03:35 am
"Hey, Im completely new to London and in need of some help! My new job
needs me to know my way around places like kensington pretty well and ive
been getting lost a lot - I was hoping for maybe like we meet at the
nearest tube station, you could maybe help show me around, grab some lunch
or something then a 1 hour incall?"

Didn't realise I'd accidentally clicked yes to "Tour guiding" on my Adultwork likes list...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sadie x on 25 September 2012, 09:46:43 am
Quote from: Little Miss Misanthropy on 25 September 2012, 02:30:48 am
Ten page long message from guy - which started with 'I don't like to boast'...then went on to boast of yacht, city job, giant penis etc. etc. blah,blah,bleurgh.

Ended with;

'I want to book you but a guy like me only books high class grlz and you havent mentioned that your high class anywhere in youre profile can you message me back and let me know'.

WTF?! Dude you found me on Adultwork, I think you've answered your own question....
prick..
i had a guy yesterday ring..
Im thinking of a 3-4 hour booking,then i want to take you shopping and pay you VERY well..
and why would you do that?i could hear i was on loud speaker,
and heard sniggering................................slam didnt even respond
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fever on 25 September 2012, 02:26:44 pm
Hey everyone! I've been reading the posts on this thread for some time and now I finally have something to post..

Message on AW last night:
Him- Hi I'm in XXXXXXX tomorrow? Would you car to meet at 5pm? I only want oral? x
Me (thinking he said car meet)- I'm sorry I don't offer car meets. If you would like to book a hotel I am available at that time for an hour at ?XXX
Him- I don't have a car or hotel. I didn't see that you only do outcalls. I only want a blowjob.

I was so confused as to why he wanted a car meet if he didn't have a car, so I read his message again and realised it was a spelling mistake. Oh well. Was thinking of replying saying I misread his initial message but to be honest I don't want to give him any more reason to keep talking to me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vampera on 25 September 2012, 02:40:53 pm
Just had someone ring me....

Bloke: Hi There I'm 17 and want a BlowJob is that okay?
Me: I'm sorry but you have to be over 18 for me to consider you.
Bloke: But I just want a BlowJob
Me: Sorry

Phone Down and Blocked!!

I have no interest in breaking the law and he's just too damn young!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 25 September 2012, 03:02:25 pm
I have had some prized ones lately:
Idiot 1. What's to meet me yesterday at 3pm, apparently he wanted to party, he listed a menu of illegal substances, just hearing them made me want to go to rehab! But couldn't get menu from his bank card till 12 midnight! Does he think I was born yesterday? I didn't bother telling him to go to the bank and get the money from the cashier.

Idiot 2. Sent explicit instruction on what I must wear, and what he wanted to do. Didn't respond past two texts. He sounds unbalanced.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 25 September 2012, 07:50:23 pm
Subject: X
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Sup baby....when you next available?


NEVER for you tosser! Blocked!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 25 September 2012, 08:27:12 pm
I moved to a new location today, and the first message I received went: "we offer a discreet service for those intersted, ?40 a gram of candy, ?30/g mandy, ?10/g harry. Open all hrs, quality guaranteed, more on request." I was furious! I went into a mad rant about me not being a user hence not interested, but if they contacted me again I'd be reporting them bla bla bla, and even received a 'sincere' apology. It really pisses me off when they assume we're all junkies !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Little_Miss_Misanthropy on 25 September 2012, 08:31:54 pm
'Tell me you fantasy in detail and I'll make sure it comes true'

So tempted to copy and paste something strange and send it back...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Little_Miss_Misanthropy on 25 September 2012, 08:33:03 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 25 September 2012, 08:27:12 pm
I moved to a new location today, and the first message I received went: "we offer a discreet service for those intersted, ?40 a gram of candy, ?30/g mandy, ?10/g harry. Open all hrs, quality guaranteed, more on request." I was furious! I went into a mad rant about me not being a user hence not interested, but if they contacted me again I'd be reporting them bla bla bla, and even received a 'sincere' apology. It really pisses me off when they assume we're all junkies !

Could you not report it to Crimestoppers?I think you can do it anonymously over t'internet (assuming they're a legit drug dealer - if there is such a thing...)?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: naughtyjas on 25 September 2012, 08:40:59 pm
Quote from: Little Miss Misanthropy on 25 September 2012, 08:31:54 pm
'Tell me you fantasy in detail and I'll make sure it comes true'

So tempted to copy and paste something strange and send it back...

Do it.  Send him something like, waking up in satin sheets, breakfast in bed and logging onto your online accounto find someone very generous has transferred x amount of money into it without you even having to get out of bed.  Ahhh heaven. ;D


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 25 September 2012, 08:47:32 pm
Quote from: Little Miss Misanthropy on 25 September 2012, 08:33:03 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 25 September 2012, 08:27:12 pm
I moved to a new location today, and the first message I received went: "we offer a discreet service for those intersted, ?40 a gram of candy, ?30/g mandy, ?10/g harry. Open all hrs, quality guaranteed, more on request." I was furious! I went into a mad rant about me not being a user hence not interested, but if they contacted me again I'd be reporting them bla bla bla, and even received a 'sincere' apology. It really pisses me off when they assume we're all junkies !

Could you not report it to Crimestoppers?I think you can do it anonymously over t'internet (assuming they're a legit drug dealer - if there is such a thing...)?

I suppose I could do, but I only have their number (probably a PAYG one), and don't know if they aren't just some stupid kids having a laugh...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Little_Miss_Misanthropy on 25 September 2012, 08:55:17 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 25 September 2012, 08:47:32 pm
Quote from: Little Miss Misanthropy on 25 September 2012, 08:33:03 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 25 September 2012, 08:27:12 pm
I moved to a new location today, and the first message I received went: "we offer a discreet service for those intersted, ?40 a gram of candy, ?30/g mandy, ?10/g harry. Open all hrs, quality guaranteed, more on request." I was furious! I went into a mad rant about me not being a user hence not interested, but if they contacted me again I'd be reporting them bla bla bla, and even received a 'sincere' apology. It really pisses me off when they assume we're all junkies !

Could you not report it to Crimestoppers?I think you can do it anonymously over t'internet (assuming they're a legit drug dealer - if there is such a thing...)?

I suppose I could do, but I only have their number (probably a PAYG one), and don't know if they aren't just some stupid kids having a laugh...

Oh but that's where the fun is - scaring the sh*t out of children by having PC Plod call them up!Oh too much hassle - what's Harry and why's it ?10?!Surely not heroin?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lost in Translation on 25 September 2012, 09:13:54 pm
I like a little Larry, Curly and Moe myself....  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kitty_of_Herts on 25 September 2012, 11:26:01 pm
I'm (blahblah), 26 from london!

I'm after a bit of unusual request for an escort booking! My fantasy is to have a messy face fucking gagging blowjob...with lots and spit and puke! I know it's not everyone's cup of tea! I wouldn't want to cause any harm or pain! Just make a mess! I'd be willing to pay a extra for this service and discuss it further if you wanted...I hope you are ;)

Let me know ASAP if your interested!

Lovely stuff.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 25 September 2012, 11:37:23 pm
2 days ago text        I need a female escort

Yesterday                I need a female escort
 
                                I am looking for female escort

Today.                      I need a female escort

 Shy one,cant't call ::)
         
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 25 September 2012, 11:39:46 pm
Quote from: Kitty_of_Herts on 25 September 2012, 11:26:01 pm
I'm (blahblah), 26 from london!

I'm after a bit of unusual request for an escort booking! My fantasy is to have a messy face fucking gagging blowjob...with lots and spit and puke! I know it's not everyone's cup of tea! I wouldn't want to cause any harm or pain! Just make a mess! I'd be willing to pay a extra for this service and discuss it further if you wanted...I hope you are ;)

Let me know ASAP if your interested!

Lovely stuff.

I'd be tempted to go on a rant about how the stomach acids in vomit can cause damage to your teeth and forced vomiting from gagging can tear the oesophagus etc... so no harm, eh!?  Just wish a few more of them could put a brain cell or two to use once in a while.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 26 September 2012, 11:36:11 am
We woke up this morning to find a text from a guy who had also repeatedly rung us and got our automated blocked call text back at least 3 times:

"Cud u meet me now plz"

It was 5:45 in the morning...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 26 September 2012, 08:33:01 pm
hello beautiful HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

i would like to meet you with my work colleague   

i do not want any sexual acts apon my self or my colleague all i would like is the following

lap dances / stripping

then watching you pleasure your self how ever you wanted fingers toys etc


not to sure if you would accept this if you do then how much would your rates be ? for an in call? and where would the in call be ? for 1 hour

if you could messege me back with a your answer that would be great

hope to chat to you soon xxx

I shall be messaging him back with this, >> nowhere on my profile does it state I see 2 people( men) together or lapdance so please learn to read adult work  escorts profiles properly  before emailing it will help  in future.  !!!,
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsummer on 26 September 2012, 09:49:32 pm
The message below is just in. Never heard from the guy before, yet he is messaging me like an old friend.  ;D

'Hey how are you

Looking nice in the images a model or something better

hows the week been upto much ?

hows aw been going'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 26 September 2012, 09:58:47 pm
I hate the ones that dont bother reading my profile, I have typed my rates, availability, preferences etc into my bio as well as in the set areas, but still I get texts/calls/emails asking "how much for X amount of time" "do you do such and such". Hello read my profile, I mean do they not realise how stupid it makes them seem.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: naughtyjas on 26 September 2012, 10:26:34 pm
I got this text today:

Can I pay you to snif you.

Followed by

Can I pay you to snif your bottom.

All I could think of was he wants to snif my bum, like a dog? ewwww.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sadie x on 26 September 2012, 10:27:32 pm
i think they should only be able to get our numbers once they have read DOS AND DONTS.
like a tick box,with terms and conditions..
they would still ignore probably AAArrrgggggg
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 26 September 2012, 10:29:38 pm
Quote from: Adriana on 26 September 2012, 09:49:32 pm
The message below is just in. Never heard from the guy before, yet he is messaging me like an old friend.  ;D

'Hey how are you

Looking nice in the images a model or something better

hows the week been upto much ?

hows aw been going'

Had that one before! What's the point, seriously?  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lost in Translation on 27 September 2012, 12:12:13 am
I've learned to deal with the basic email enquiry and thought maybe someone else might want to use this tip for those frustrations. I've put everything that's in my profile into my auto response in bullet form with the heading "If I don't get back to you the answer to your question is in this auto reply"

so it's just the bare bones information on my profile - how much, where, what basic services are, that domination costs more (and those rates) and how my booking system works.... basically the information most people ask.  So if someone actually is serious, the info is there. Mostly I find the people that write to me %80 just want me to interact with them and aren't interested in booking.

I very rarely get a booking through email. it's almost always through text and phone. My phone has been off for 5 days as I was ill. I'm dreading turning it on...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 27 September 2012, 02:11:05 am
Quote from: Adriana on 26 September 2012, 09:49:32 pm
Never heard from the guy before, yet he is messaging me like an old friend.  ;D

We've had a guy who behaves like we know him even though we've never met up. He first text a very polite message about being in the area and wanting to meet up, followed up with another text after no reply 45 minutes later - this was 3 in the morning. We replied once we were awake to tell him our working hours and heard nothing back until a week later when we got (+ ignored) a text saying "Miss you x"

And then two weeks later we got this:

"Hi, how's things? I've been really busy travelling to Germany, France and Scotland with work. I start my new job in the city of London next week. How've you been? Len x"

Yeah, ignored that too...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ashanti Ebony on 27 September 2012, 04:15:08 pm
Quote from: Coty on 25 September 2012, 07:50:23 pm
Subject: X
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Sup baby....when you next available?


NEVER for you tosser! Blocked!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ashanti Ebony on 27 September 2012, 04:22:56 pm
Meant to say, got this guy, ask loooooottttts of stupid questions

The idiot--- hi babe, got a big dick
Me         --- no response
The idiot--- am so huge, gals can't handle me
Me         --- oh really?
The idiot--- am indian, want to get into porn, pls help me
Me-- i just hanged up, come to think of it, don't have a clue why i didn't hang up earlier. :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 27 September 2012, 06:31:07 pm
AW message today:

twit: Babe you avalable?

Me: Please call for a same day appointment.

twit: Were about in notts are u bbe

Me: No reply!!

Honestly...  :FF

Phone call today: Hiya, was wondering if you'd do an outcall at 2.30am tomorrow even though your profile says you only work until 11. Or you could come get pissed with us for free and then come back to ours.

Really?!  ???

Needless to say I politely declined and hung up promptly.

xx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sadie x on 27 September 2012, 10:26:26 pm
nob rings,me ansews......................silence.
"hello"........nob....."where you at" ...........no thankyou.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luvmylips on 28 September 2012, 09:54:18 am
Got this gem via AW:

Hi Princess i love your profile.You seems very nice.Im Tom also work here on Adultwork as an Escort (2 years) Tom28SE.The reason ive contacted you is that you seem very nice.Im not looking for Escort but serious relationship with a nice girl like you.Due to my work i find it difficult to find a girl for relationship where the girl would accept my work but she was still cool pretty and naughty.Im not really atracted to too good girls.My previous relationship was with an Escort/Mistress girl too and it worked fine although we are only friends now.If a nice but a bit naughty Boyfriend would be something that interest you please get back and lets get to know each other maybe we could start with a nice dinner.You can check out my profile or just reply with your email adress and ill send you my pics.Looking forward hearing from you.Tom xx


Why do these guys waste time? Don't they know time is money? :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sadie x on 28 September 2012, 01:59:00 pm
What a total plonker..
and why would any escort in there right mind..
date someone who should be paying?.............annoying annoying annoying :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sadie x on 28 September 2012, 02:03:30 pm
infact..you have to write back to that and say "you cant be serious!"
that would put me in foul mood if i just woke up..at the stupidity of it..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 28 September 2012, 05:22:58 pm
I've written on my profile that I'm not looking for a boyfriend, to be a mistress, fuck buddy or slave,,this is my JOB!
Grrrrrrrrr  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Devilish Afro on 28 September 2012, 05:47:28 pm
Quote from: Luvmylips on 28 September 2012, 09:54:18 am
Got this gem via AW:

Hi Princess i love your profile.You seems very nice.Im Tom also work here on Adultwork as an Escort (2 years) Tom28SE.The reason ive contacted you is that you seem very nice.Im not looking for Escort but serious relationship with a nice girl like you.Due to my work i find it difficult to find a girl for relationship where the girl would accept my work but she was still cool pretty and naughty.Im not really atracted to too good girls.My previous relationship was with an Escort/Mistress girl too and it worked fine although we are only friends now.If a nice but a bit naughty Boyfriend would be something that interest you please get back and lets get to know each other maybe we could start with a nice dinner.You can check out my profile or just reply with your email adress and ill send you my pics.Looking forward hearing from you.Tom xx


Why do these guys waste time? Don't they know time is money? :FF

I got this today too. I just blocked him. I think he must be doing the rounds.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 28 September 2012, 06:42:35 pm
Quote from: xnataliax on 19 September 2012, 06:47:45 pm
Hi all! I have been doing this only a few months but already the stupidity of some men makes me wonder how the function on a daily basis in society. had a phone call last week which seemed to be going ok and he booked for a 2hour apt for the following day. fine and we hung up. next day i get a text from him,

'weirdo'- can i ask you something?
me- (here we go) yes?
weirdo- can i squeeze you?
me- ..... excuse me?
weirdo- can i squeeze you? you know, like an orange....
me- I'm afraid i have to cancel our apt as I'm not feeling to fruity today.click

another genius two weeks ago on the phone, after booking apt
genius- which hotel are you in?
me- such and such hotel.
genius- ok my mum should be able to drop off after work.
me- em how old are you.
genius- 32.....
me- rightttttttt
genius- im not odd my mum just likes to know im safe

sweet jesus  ::)


That makes me feel guilty now refusing to give my client my full address when he told me he needed it as he was only 26!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sadie x on 28 September 2012, 10:40:07 pm
that reminds me..
what is it with guys lately asking can you see me? im only 25-26-or even ive had 27 years old..
for 1 its not that young and 2)im 29 so why would i give a shit?
if they were 21 or under than,thats a little different,but after mid 20s when im in my 20s yes maybe 29 but still fffing 20s..
its like there showing off..im only 26 and? congratulations
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fever on 28 September 2012, 10:59:06 pm
Got this beauty on AW earlier:

"Hello Sexy,

When I saw your profile & pictures I just couldn't stoping
myself by asking you for meeting together. I haven't emailed
to any other girl.

I am very handsome 26 years old white / half English guy. I
have a pictures of myself and I would like you to see them,-)
I have a handsome big dick and I would like to meet with you
as soon as possible?

I like a watersports and rimming. I could try spit games, I only
watch movies about this is something I would like to try ,-) I
would like you to pee in my mouth when you sitting on my
face and let me licking your sexy bum and pussy! Mmm?
I just promisse I will lick you bum so good you never feel any
tang so deep.

I will let you pee in my mouth when you sitting on my face.
I will let you spit on me and talk dirty.

Would you like to meet with me, without the payment for it?
As I promise you will really like our meeting. I am very nice guy,
very clean and smart looking. I just would like to have a dirty
meeting with you, but we don't have to have a sex... I am
happy with oral and face sitting with watersport games ?
mmmm?.

Let me know please, what do you think about

Take care
Charles"


And to think I got excited by the notification email because it's pay day and I might actually get my first booking. I seriously need to rethink my advertising because AW seems to be full of TWs at the minute.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 28 September 2012, 11:04:02 pm
Quote from: Fever on 28 September 2012, 10:59:06 pm
Got this beauty on AW earlier:

"Hello Sexy,

When I saw your profile & pictures I just couldn't stoping
myself by asking you for meeting together. I haven't emailed
to any other girl.

I am very handsome 26 years old white / half English guy. I
have a pictures of myself and I would like you to see them,-)
I have a handsome big dick and I would like to meet with you
as soon as possible?

I like a watersports and rimming. I could try spit games, I only
watch movies about this is something I would like to try ,-) I
would like you to pee in my mouth when you sitting on my
face and let me licking your sexy bum and pussy! Mmm?
I just promisse I will lick you bum so good you never feel any
tang so deep.

I will let you pee in my mouth when you sitting on my face.
I will let you spit on me and talk dirty.

Would you like to meet with me, without the payment for it?
As I promise you will really like our meeting. I am very nice guy,
very clean and smart looking. I just would like to have a dirty
meeting with you, but we don't have to have a sex... I am
happy with oral and face sitting with watersport games ?
mmmm?.

Let me know please, what do you think about

Take care
Charles"


And to think I got excited by the notification email because it's pay day and I might actually get my first booking. I seriously need to rethink my advertising because AW seems to be full of TWs at the minute.

OMG I was heaving slightly at the beginning, thinking he's a dick who's been watching porn and thinks it's real life....but then to ask for it all for free!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!   :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fever on 28 September 2012, 11:12:49 pm
Quote from: Coty on 28 September 2012, 11:04:02 pm


OMG I was heaving slightly at the beginning, thinking he's a dick who's been watching porn and thinks it's real life....but then to ask for it all for free!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!   :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF

I know... But he did 'promisse' that I would really enjoy the meeting.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 29 September 2012, 12:03:46 am
Quote from: Fever on 28 September 2012, 11:12:49 pm
Quote from: Coty on 28 September 2012, 11:04:02 pm


OMG I was heaving slightly at the beginning, thinking he's a dick who's been watching porn and thinks it's real life....but then to ask for it all for free!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!   :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF

I know... But he did 'promisse' that I would really enjoy the meeting.  :FF


Ah yes...well in that case, why wouldn't you!! hahaha
Urgh spitting...yuck yuck yuck!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 29 September 2012, 07:38:06 am
Ever wanted to jump the down phone and throttle someone.

As most know I'm not an early riser, I'm only wakened at this time this morning cos some eejit decided to call me at 7.04 am.  I had my phone on silent but the vibe was on and as I was sleeping lightly I heard it - didnt realise what it was at first as it came through in my dream  ::) - as it does, then I realised it was my phone.  7.04 am ON A SATURDAY MORNING.

Why are guys such  inconsiderate eejits?  Well its back to sleep for me, thanks for reading my rant.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BevOsteen on 29 September 2012, 07:56:14 am
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 29 September 2012, 07:38:06 am
Ever wanted to jump the down phone and throttle someone.

As most know I'm not an early riser, I'm only wakened at this time this morning cos some eejit decided to call me at 7.04 am.  I had my phone on silent but the vibe was on and as I was sleeping lightly I heard it - didnt realise what it was at first as it came through in my dream  ::) - as it does, then I realised it was my phone.  7.04 am ON A SATURDAY MORNING.

Why are guys such  inconsiderate eejits?  Well its back to sleep for me, thanks for reading my rant.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Some people think as long as they are awake, the whole world is awake. The same thing happened to me this morning and the client wanted to visit me at 6.30am. Asked him to have a wank :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lost in Translation on 29 September 2012, 01:41:35 pm
Best move ever: getting a cheap ?15 phone for biz that I turn off when not working. people would wake me up at 3am, 5am, 7am.... all hours. and argue with my why I wasn't working.  ???

idiot: I'd like to book for today.
me: sorry darlin I'm not working today
idiot: why not?  (me -  :o , first time someone had said that...)
me: because I have this magic thing called a personal life that all other humans have. That's why.
idiot: oh. ok.

 ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)

enter, new phone that gets turned off when I'm not working. when I was taking advanced appointments, no one calling after 9:30pm or before 8.30 am (weekday) wanted an advanced booking. so I had phone shut off hours.

the annoying calls at all hours, every day AUGH.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 29 September 2012, 01:55:11 pm
Quote from: sadie x on 28 September 2012, 10:40:07 pm
that reminds me..
what is it with guys lately asking can you see me? im only 25-26-or even ive had 27 years old..
for 1 its not that young and 2)im 29 so why would i give a shit?
if they were 21 or under than,thats a little different,but after mid 20s when im in my 20s yes maybe 29 but still fffing 20s..
its like there showing off..im only 26 and? congratulations

lol. I think some ask as some girls prefer not to see under 30. But some ask because they really do think they are youngsters and need wrapping in cotton wool and protecting when they go to see the dirty little hooker or some just do it because they think you'll drop your baggies for them for free because they are yung innit!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 29 September 2012, 02:04:04 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 29 September 2012, 07:38:06 am
Ever wanted to jump the down phone and throttle someone.

As most know I'm not an early riser, I'm only wakened at this time this morning cos some eejit decided to call me at 7.04 am.  I had my phone on silent but the vibe was on and as I was sleeping lightly I heard it - didnt realise what it was at first as it came through in my dream  ::) - as it does, then I realised it was my phone.  7.04 am ON A SATURDAY MORNING.

Why are guys such  inconsiderate eejits?  Well its back to sleep for me, thanks for reading my rant.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


I had a phonecall at 4.30am which I ignored, then a mesage asking if I am free to talk now? ::) I am not a heavy sleeper so I replied 'If you like swear words yes I am free to talk now you pr***!' ::) Who wants a chat with someone who is possibly a timewaster and likely to send me to sleep with his ohhh so boring sex talk...why oh why don't they just bang one out and go back to sleep? Freaks...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 29 September 2012, 03:18:10 pm
Quote from: Luvmylips on 28 September 2012, 09:54:18 am
Got this gem via AW:

Hi Princess i love your profile.You seems very nice.Im Tom also work here on Adultwork as an Escort (2 years) Tom28SE.The reason ive contacted you is that you seem very nice.Im not looking for Escort but serious relationship with a nice girl like you.Due to my work i find it difficult to find a girl for relationship where the girl would accept my work but she was still cool pretty and naughty.Im not really atracted to too good girls.My previous relationship was with an Escort/Mistress girl too and it worked fine although we are only friends now.If a nice but a bit naughty Boyfriend would be something that interest you please get back and lets get to know each other maybe we could start with a nice dinner.You can check out my profile or just reply with your email adress and ill send you my pics.Looking forward hearing from you.Tom xx


Why do these guys waste time? Don't they know time is money? :FF
That damn fool is looking for a sugar mama!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sadie x on 29 September 2012, 04:01:02 pm
Quote from: Jan10 on 29 September 2012, 02:04:04 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 29 September 2012, 07:38:06 am
Ever wanted to jump the down phone and throttle someone.

As most know I'm not an early riser, I'm only wakened at this time this morning cos some eejit decided to call me at 7.04 am.  I had my phone on silent but the vibe was on and as I was sleeping lightly I heard it - didnt realise what it was at first as it came through in my dream  ::) - as it does, then I realised it was my phone.  7.04 am ON A SATURDAY MORNING.

Why are guys such  inconsiderate eejits?  Well its back to sleep for me, thanks for reading my rant.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


I had a phonecall at 4.30am which I ignored, then a mesage asking if I am free to talk now? ::) I am not a heavy sleeper so I replied 'If you like swear words yes I am free to talk now you pr***!' ::) Who wants a chat with someone who is possibly a timewaster and likely to send me to sleep with his ohhh so boring sex talk...why oh why don't they just bang one out and go back to sleep? Freaks...
highly annoying..
its the "are you free to talk" NO IM SHAGGING A CLIENT AND GOT ANOTHER DUE IN..
idiotic wanker whos probably bored
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 29 September 2012, 04:07:41 pm
Caller. Hello whats youre name?
Me well you tell me,
Caller oh my mate gave me youre number.
Me check out my profile details okxxxxxx on adultwork 
caller  who are you?.
i turn the phone off at this point !  ::)
today saturday its too quiet, im giving myself the afternoon&.evening off ..Theres more action at a funeral home than on my bed  !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 29 September 2012, 05:05:11 pm
A classic text just in:

"I'm driving. R u free in 30? And I've only or ?60? Maz"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sadie x on 29 September 2012, 05:34:24 pm
yes,,driving you round bend..
with stupidness..if thats a word!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xnataliax on 29 September 2012, 06:05:27 pm
ok so this guy emailed me about 2weeks ago saying he'd lie to meet in 2weeks as he is going on holiday. i said fine, mail me when your back and we will arrange something, he seemed nice and polite and normal.... then i woke up to this... (sorry its so long winded)
Hi Natalia

I am now back from holiday.

Are you up for a meeting one day this week ?

If so what day and time would suit you ?

Here is a little story to get you in the mood for our meeting.

You have been out in xxxx with 3 of your friends at a night club.

The club closes at 2.30am and at 1.30 you and your friends are dancing away on the dance floor when this English guy comes up to you who is totally drunk and starts making indecent suggestions to you and your friends.

You start to get really annoyed with the guy who then grabs you and shouts a whole pile of abuse at you and you get really upset. All you managed to find out is that his name is Paul.

The club closes at 2.30 and you leave and see the guy go into the hotel.

The following morning you are still feeling pretty upset about what happened and so you and your friends start walking towards the hotel and you see a policeman. You tell him what happened and he goes with you to the hotel.

Now this guy named Steve has a twin brother who's name is Paul. Paul and Steve had not seen or spoken to each other for many years as they fell out as Paul was always getting drunk. Unbeknown to both Steve and Paul they both happened to be in xxxx at the same time Paul had come over on holiday.

You arrive at the hotel with the policeman and there in the lobby is Steve. You and your friends immediately identify him to the policeman who goes and arrests him.

Two days later you all end up in court. Steve of course denies any knowledge of what happened but with you and three other witness identifying him as definitely the person whom assaulted you the judge finds him guilty and issues the punishment. He rules that as his punishment he has to either spend an hour with you and do absolutely anything that you instruct him to do. In the event that he does not do everything completely to your satisfaction then he will have to serve 12months in a Jail.

The judge tells you that if you need anything at all then you just need simply tell the police and they will arrange for it to be made available.

Steve tells the judge that he is off to Spain for a few days but that you would like to have him sent to you at 10am in a few days and you specify the place.

Steve is released on ? 10.000 bail and instructed to return in 3 days time.

You and your friends go and have a drink and between you, you sit and chat about all the nasty things that you could do to him. One of your friends suggests using him as your toilet. You laugh at the suggestion but then make a swift call to the police and say that you would like Steve to bring a portable loo when he returns.

Steve gets back from Spain. He reposrts that he is there to fulfil his sentence and gets his bail refunded.

A police officer escorts him to your location and hands him a shopping bag. Steve has no idea what is in the bag.

You and your friends had been out the night before and you are still tired when there is a knock on the door.

You open the door and there is Steve with the shopping bag in his hand.

Steve says I have no idea what is in the bag so I shall op0en it and see. He op0ens the bag and takes out the toilet and fits it all together. He thinks that is rather a strange thing to give to me to bring.

Still feeling tired you lay on the bed and tell Steve to give you a nice massage all over. From there on in you can decide where you want my hands and tongue to go.

As far as you are concerned I am only there to pleasure you and you can come up with whatever you want. Don't be afraid to say I want this to be the most erotic session you have ever had with a guy. No holes barred if you want your feet kissed and licked just say so, if you want to be rimmed just say so just treat me as your own personal pleasure machine.

As you orgasm in my mouth just think and now he is going to have to swallow that having cum all over his tongue.

When you have had enough orgasms, you can then say, I now have the ideal use for that filthy mouth of yours, get under that toilet seat.

Put your stilettos on and feel the power rush as you lower yourself onto the open mouth.

Steve will think that you want to be rimmed again and his tongue will start to work. Only then will he feel you pushing and pushing until you use his mouth below for watersports and hardsports into the open mouth below.

Steve xx


what do i ever reply to that?? words fail me  ??? ??? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 29 September 2012, 07:45:42 pm
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well I don't have an answer to your question as I'm speechless having read that essay!

Delete/block would be my response!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 29 September 2012, 11:01:21 pm
fuck me, it was like reading war and peace - and about as entertaining!!!!!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lost in Translation on 29 September 2012, 11:29:26 pm
I just automatically press "delete" when I get something that long. I probably miss out on a lot of weirdness.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 30 September 2012, 01:23:15 am
I would ask him what the fuck is wrong with him, freak!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vampera on 30 September 2012, 02:28:08 am
I got this Text tonight from someone I have never had contact with before, he's never phoned me (that I'm aware of), never asked for a Booking....and I get a Text saying:

"Adress?"......  :FF

Oh yes, please please come for a Booking and let me give you my Address even though you can't spell it properly....I'm sure you're not a Timewaster!!   ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 30 September 2012, 04:53:37 am
My gut reaction to that wasn't time waster, but arrogant nasty man who will probably rape and rob me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 30 September 2012, 10:13:06 am
Quote from: xnataliax on 29 September 2012, 06:05:27 pm
ok so this guy emailed me about 2weeks ago saying he'd lie to meet in 2weeks as he is going on holiday. i said fine, mail me when your back and we will arrange something, he seemed nice and polite and normal.... then i woke up to this... (sorry its so long winded)
Hi Natalia

I am now back from holiday.

Are you up for a meeting one day this week ?

If so what day and time would suit you ?

Here is a little story to get you in the mood for our meeting.

You have been out in xxxx with 3 of your friends at a night club.

The club closes at 2.30am and at 1.30 you and your friends are dancing away on the dance floor when this English guy comes up to you who is totally drunk and starts making indecent suggestions to you and your friends.

You start to get really annoyed with the guy who then grabs you and shouts a whole pile of abuse at you and you get really upset. All you managed to find out is that his name is Paul.

The club closes at 2.30 and you leave and see the guy go into the hotel.

The following morning you are still feeling pretty upset about what happened and so you and your friends start walking towards the hotel and you see a policeman. You tell him what happened and he goes with you to the hotel.

Now this guy named Steve has a twin brother who's name is Paul. Paul and Steve had not seen or spoken to each other for many years as they fell out as Paul was always getting drunk. Unbeknown to both Steve and Paul they both happened to be in xxxx at the same time Paul had come over on holiday.

You arrive at the hotel with the policeman and there in the lobby is Steve. You and your friends immediately identify him to the policeman who goes and arrests him.

Two days later you all end up in court. Steve of course denies any knowledge of what happened but with you and three other witness identifying him as definitely the person whom assaulted you the judge finds him guilty and issues the punishment. He rules that as his punishment he has to either spend an hour with you and do absolutely anything that you instruct him to do. In the event that he does not do everything completely to your satisfaction then he will have to serve 12months in a Jail.

The judge tells you that if you need anything at all then you just need simply tell the police and they will arrange for it to be made available.

Steve tells the judge that he is off to Spain for a few days but that you would like to have him sent to you at 10am in a few days and you specify the place.

Steve is released on ? 10.000 bail and instructed to return in 3 days time.

You and your friends go and have a drink and between you, you sit and chat about all the nasty things that you could do to him. One of your friends suggests using him as your toilet. You laugh at the suggestion but then make a swift call to the police and say that you would like Steve to bring a portable loo when he returns.

Steve gets back from Spain. He reposrts that he is there to fulfil his sentence and gets his bail refunded.

A police officer escorts him to your location and hands him a shopping bag. Steve has no idea what is in the bag.

You and your friends had been out the night before and you are still tired when there is a knock on the door.

You open the door and there is Steve with the shopping bag in his hand.

Steve says I have no idea what is in the bag so I shall op0en it and see. He op0ens the bag and takes out the toilet and fits it all together. He thinks that is rather a strange thing to give to me to bring.

Still feeling tired you lay on the bed and tell Steve to give you a nice massage all over. From there on in you can decide where you want my hands and tongue to go.

As far as you are concerned I am only there to pleasure you and you can come up with whatever you want. Don't be afraid to say I want this to be the most erotic session you have ever had with a guy. No holes barred if you want your feet kissed and licked just say so, if you want to be rimmed just say so just treat me as your own personal pleasure machine.

As you orgasm in my mouth just think and now he is going to have to swallow that having cum all over his tongue.

When you have had enough orgasms, you can then say, I now have the ideal use for that filthy mouth of yours, get under that toilet seat.

Put your stilettos on and feel the power rush as you lower yourself onto the open mouth.

Steve will think that you want to be rimmed again and his tongue will start to work. Only then will he feel you pushing and pushing until you use his mouth below for watersports and hardsports into the open mouth below.

Steve xx


Add it as a short story on your erotica and make some money out of the plonker.

what do i ever reply to that?? words fail me  ??? ??? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 30 September 2012, 11:10:14 am
This just in:

Free outcall in ****** tonight?

Words fail me.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 30 September 2012, 12:43:57 pm
Quote from: xnataliax on 29 September 2012, 06:05:27 pm
ok so this guy emailed me about 2weeks ago saying he'd lie to meet in 2weeks as he is going on holiday. i said fine, mail me when your back and we will arrange something, he seemed nice and polite and normal.... then i woke up to this... (sorry its so long winded)
Hi Natalia

I am now back from holiday.

Are you up for a meeting one day this week ?

If so what day and time would suit you ?

Here is a little story to get you in the mood for our meeting.

You have been out in xxxx with 3 of your friends at a night club.

The club closes at 2.30am and at 1.30 you and your friends are dancing away on the dance floor when this English guy comes up to you who is totally drunk and starts making indecent suggestions to you and your friends.

You start to get really annoyed with the guy who then grabs you and shouts a whole pile of abuse at you and you get really upset. All you managed to find out is that his name is Paul.

The club closes at 2.30 and you leave and see the guy go into the hotel.

The following morning you are still feeling pretty upset about what happened and so you and your friends start walking towards the hotel and you see a policeman. You tell him what happened and he goes with you to the hotel.

Now this guy named Steve has a twin brother who's name is Paul. Paul and Steve had not seen or spoken to each other for many years as they fell out as Paul was always getting drunk. Unbeknown to both Steve and Paul they both happened to be in xxxx at the same time Paul had come over on holiday.

You arrive at the hotel with the policeman and there in the lobby is Steve. You and your friends immediately identify him to the policeman who goes and arrests him.

Two days later you all end up in court. Steve of course denies any knowledge of what happened but with you and three other witness identifying him as definitely the person whom assaulted you the judge finds him guilty and issues the punishment. He rules that as his punishment he has to either spend an hour with you and do absolutely anything that you instruct him to do. In the event that he does not do everything completely to your satisfaction then he will have to serve 12months in a Jail.

The judge tells you that if you need anything at all then you just need simply tell the police and they will arrange for it to be made available.

Steve tells the judge that he is off to Spain for a few days but that you would like to have him sent to you at 10am in a few days and you specify the place.

Steve is released on ? 10.000 bail and instructed to return in 3 days time.

You and your friends go and have a drink and between you, you sit and chat about all the nasty things that you could do to him. One of your friends suggests using him as your toilet. You laugh at the suggestion but then make a swift call to the police and say that you would like Steve to bring a portable loo when he returns.

Steve gets back from Spain. He reposrts that he is there to fulfil his sentence and gets his bail refunded.

A police officer escorts him to your location and hands him a shopping bag. Steve has no idea what is in the bag.

You and your friends had been out the night before and you are still tired when there is a knock on the door.

You open the door and there is Steve with the shopping bag in his hand.

Steve says I have no idea what is in the bag so I shall op0en it and see. He op0ens the bag and takes out the toilet and fits it all together. He thinks that is rather a strange thing to give to me to bring.

Still feeling tired you lay on the bed and tell Steve to give you a nice massage all over. From there on in you can decide where you want my hands and tongue to go.

As far as you are concerned I am only there to pleasure you and you can come up with whatever you want. Don't be afraid to say I want this to be the most erotic session you have ever had with a guy. No holes barred if you want your feet kissed and licked just say so, if you want to be rimmed just say so just treat me as your own personal pleasure machine.

As you orgasm in my mouth just think and now he is going to have to swallow that having cum all over his tongue.

When you have had enough orgasms, you can then say, I now have the ideal use for that filthy mouth of yours, get under that toilet seat.

Put your stilettos on and feel the power rush as you lower yourself onto the open mouth.

Steve will think that you want to be rimmed again and his tongue will start to work. Only then will he feel you pushing and pushing until you use his mouth below for watersports and hardsports into the open mouth below.

Steve xx


what do i ever reply to that?? words fail me  ??? ??? ???


What a lot of nonsense! People like that have way too much time on their hands, sometimes you just have to read to try and figure out where they get their imagination from, I have to say though sometimes you can't help laughing at some of the stupidity they write and they are probably expecting you to be having numerous orgasms reading their drivel or worse laughing at you believing that an actual booking is going to happen from them, it rarely does they just get off on the thought of you reading their boring masterpiece! I just block they are probably hardwork and loopy!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sadie x on 30 September 2012, 09:42:34 pm
Quote from: DMD on 30 September 2012, 10:13:06 am
Quote from: xnataliax on 29 September 2012, 06:05:27 pm
ok so this guy emailed me about 2weeks ago saying he'd lie to meet in 2weeks as he is going on holiday. i said fine, mail me when your back and we will arrange something, he seemed nice and polite and normal.... then i woke up to this... (sorry its so long winded)
Hi Natalia

I am now back from holiday.

Are you up for a meeting one day this week ?

If so what day and time would suit you ?

Here is a little story to get you in the mood for our meeting.

You have been out in xxxx with 3 of your friends at a night club.

The club closes at 2.30am and at 1.30 you and your friends are dancing away on the dance floor when this English guy comes up to you who is totally drunk and starts making indecent suggestions to you and your friends.

You start to get really annoyed with the guy who then grabs you and shouts a whole pile of abuse at you and you get really upset. All you managed to find out is that his name is Paul.

The club closes at 2.30 and you leave and see the guy go into the hotel.

The following morning you are still feeling pretty upset about what happened and so you and your friends start walking towards the hotel and you see a policeman. You tell him what happened and he goes with you to the hotel.

Now this guy named Steve has a twin brother who's name is Paul. Paul and Steve had not seen or spoken to each other for many years as they fell out as Paul was always getting drunk. Unbeknown to both Steve and Paul they both happened to be in xxxx at the same time Paul had come over on holiday.

You arrive at the hotel with the policeman and there in the lobby is Steve. You and your friends immediately identify him to the policeman who goes and arrests him.

Two days later you all end up in court. Steve of course denies any knowledge of what happened but with you and three other witness identifying him as definitely the person whom assaulted you the judge finds him guilty and issues the punishment. He rules that as his punishment he has to either spend an hour with you and do absolutely anything that you instruct him to do. In the event that he does not do everything completely to your satisfaction then he will have to serve 12months in a Jail.

The judge tells you that if you need anything at all then you just need simply tell the police and they will arrange for it to be made available.

Steve tells the judge that he is off to Spain for a few days but that you would like to have him sent to you at 10am in a few days and you specify the place.

Steve is released on ? 10.000 bail and instructed to return in 3 days time.

You and your friends go and have a drink and between you, you sit and chat about all the nasty things that you could do to him. One of your friends suggests using him as your toilet. You laugh at the suggestion but then make a swift call to the police and say that you would like Steve to bring a portable loo when he returns.

Steve gets back from Spain. He reposrts that he is there to fulfil his sentence and gets his bail refunded.

A police officer escorts him to your location and hands him a shopping bag. Steve has no idea what is in the bag.

You and your friends had been out the night before and you are still tired when there is a knock on the door.

You open the door and there is Steve with the shopping bag in his hand.

Steve says I have no idea what is in the bag so I shall op0en it and see. He op0ens the bag and takes out the toilet and fits it all together. He thinks that is rather a strange thing to give to me to bring.

Still feeling tired you lay on the bed and tell Steve to give you a nice massage all over. From there on in you can decide where you want my hands and tongue to go.

As far as you are concerned I am only there to pleasure you and you can come up with whatever you want. Don't be afraid to say I want this to be the most erotic session you have ever had with a guy. No holes barred if you want your feet kissed and licked just say so, if you want to be rimmed just say so just treat me as your own personal pleasure machine.

As you orgasm in my mouth just think and now he is going to have to swallow that having cum all over his tongue.

When you have had enough orgasms, you can then say, I now have the ideal use for that filthy mouth of yours, get under that toilet seat.

Put your stilettos on and feel the power rush as you lower yourself onto the open mouth.

Steve will think that you want to be rimmed again and his tongue will start to work. Only then will he feel you pushing and pushing until you use his mouth below for watersports and hardsports into the open mouth below.

Steve xx


Add it as a short story on your erotica and make some money out of the plonker.

what do i ever reply to that?? words fail me  ??? ??? ???
Why oh why did he waste his time writing that..BIG FAT YAWN zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 30 September 2012, 11:17:58 pm
Obvious timewaster/fantasist text us this evening:

Guy: Hi Amy. Great profile! On your wish list you have an open fronted mini dress. If I buy that for you I wondered if you would wear it out to dinner with me for the small sum of ?1000? X
Me (trying to be polite): Hi, I'm afraid that I don't do outcalls solo, so it won't be possible for me to do this with you. If you did buy the dress then I could wear it if you visited me for an incall. x
Guy: How about if I took you and <girl in a few of my photos who I once did a party with> out for dinner?
Me (getting irritated): I'm not in contact with <girl> and when I said I don't do outcalls solo I meant that James would always accompany me. I also wouldn't be comfortable wearing that particular dress out in public anyway. x
Guy: That's a shame! When's your next party?
Me: All the details of our parties are on our profile - if you wish to attend please message through AW. x
Guy: (stops replying)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 01 October 2012, 10:26:44 am
Not so much "How not to book an escort" but.. This one just made me feel a little sick  :-X
Quote
Hi
I am ***** - 41 professional but I am looking for a meet today if possible - I want to kiss both of you - love it wet if possible? , both of you give me very wet blow job .. play with my arse ...
Not overly bothered about fucking lol ...

Nothing especially insidious about it but I can just imagine him as someone who likes to lick and drool all over your mouth area, wants you to spit on his cock and drool everywhere, and then lick his smelly bum.. *heaves*.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sunny_sophia on 01 October 2012, 04:12:10 pm
Just logged in to these belters:

hey i was wondering if we could have a 15 min meet up? I'd like you to laugh at my little willy, then tell me i'll never fuck you right. Then facesit me in leggings then pull them down and force me to lick your arse hole. Then wank me off until i come and then forced me to eat the cum. Would that be ok?

and

How much to watch another girl fuck u up the arse for half an hour with a strap on?

Also, i have 14 messages from what i thought was a lovely regular asking me to meet at 2/3/4/5 this morning.

Some days eh?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 01 October 2012, 08:26:54 pm
Just had a guy that put us both on edge - the type to quote from your site/profile and hold everything you say against you like your profile is a legally binding document rather than just a good idea of what services we offer ::).
We have "sale" on AW for pussy pops - so he insists on being able to use a pop on Amy because "it's in your "Sales and wishlists" on your profile", even after being told that we aren't comfortable to do this in front of a client he still  insisted that since it's a sale item, we must offer it as a service.

Wants to do watersports and then after being told that we prefer to do that in the bath (cleaner etc):
Quote
Watersports in the bath is usually a very cold and clinical affair, totally lacking any eroticism. This is why I prefer to drink whilst being face sat. I never spill a drop unless the lady has no control at all.
Yeah, place the blame all on us..

Also this gem:
Quote
I'll also enjoy rimming Amy as this is on her list of likes on Adultwork.
Because apparently "at discretion" isn't a viable option...

Nothing that terrible, and he has placed a booking but why do these people think that because something is listed on a profile or mentioned once on a website somewhere that they are automatically entitled to those services? And TELLING us what we WILL provide rather than asking politely. And then arguing when we say that we don't offer that! Gah!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 02 October 2012, 02:50:14 pm
Another circulating email


Goddess,
 
i am 47 years old, extremely submissive and docile slave from London. i am well educated and very sincere about my slavery. Please i am begging You to become Your personal foot slave.
i have always been dreaming to be a slave/dog to  Goddess. i would like to be Your slave if You allow me please. i would like to be Your foot slave/ house slave/dog. i can pay You for a an hour session. You can treat me as You wish, like slapping me with Your feet/hand, You can use me as Your dog and carpet/doormat/bathmat. i am well trained slave, i will never speak unless You wish me to, never look You in the eyes and will always crawl/grovel in Your presence. i can also do Your housework like; cleaning,ironing,washing Your underwear/socks by hand, be Your driver. i can afford ? 100.00 for a session Goddess but if You accept i can be Your regular dog and  can be a very useful dog to You Goddess if You wish. i have a nice place in Earls Court for You to stay whenever You wish as Your own place. i am extremely low and would like to become a slave for a superior  Goddess just like Yourself.
Please Goddess either a session or not let me know if You wish to own me as Your dog. Bye for now.
 
foot worm
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 02 October 2012, 04:49:16 pm
Quote from: SexyBiAmy & James on 01 October 2012, 08:26:54 pm
Because apparently "at discretion" isn't a viable option...

Nothing that terrible, and he has placed a booking but why do these people think that because something is listed on a profile or mentioned once on a website somewhere that they are automatically entitled to those services? And TELLING us what we WILL provide rather than asking politely. And then arguing when we say that we don't offer that! Gah!

My 'enjoys' list used to have all sorts of things on it, many 'at discretion', but people always tried to 'push it', just like your guy. I was sick and tired of having to explain to them that some things are not guaranteed, and listening to all the grumpy huffing and puffing. Now I only advertise a handful of services that are guaranteed, nothing 'at discretion'. I don't mind people asking for something that isn't listed, and if they're polite and respectful, I am normally willing to consider it.

Another pet hate of mine is when they offer to 'pay extra' for something that I don't do at all!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Little_Miss_Misanthropy on 02 October 2012, 04:58:28 pm
Quote from: SexyBiAmy & James on 01 October 2012, 08:26:54 pm
Just had a guy that put us both on edge - the type to quote from your site/profile and hold everything you say against you like your profile is a legally binding document rather than just a good idea of what services we offer ::).


Oh these are The All You Can Eat Buffet Guys - they want a little bit of everything, and they're mostly arseholes...but ?150 is a fair ammount to whack out, so you can kind of see where they're coming from.

I'm with ilovedots - 'at discretion' isn't worth the trouble. If a guy is polite and friendly and the mood takes me I'll give a little more than I offer - this has added bonus of making client feel special and  will probably turn them into a regular; 'Ohh I don't do that with all my clients, you're just so lush *simper*'. Though I offer a GFE style service, so may not work with what you and James offer?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 02 October 2012, 08:07:07 pm
Hi,

First of all do you do custom videos and if so could you do one for me?

For the video I would need you to buy some pairs of Y fronts for me. I have provided a few links to give you an idea of the style, you can purchase them from anywhere you wish.


http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/MENS-3-x-100-COTTON-Y-FRONTS-M-L-XL-BLUES-/180972491735?pt=UK_Men_s_Underwear&var=&hash=item2a22cd13d7

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/4-PAIRS-MENS-WHITE-100-COTTON-Y-FRONT-BRIEFS-SIZES-S-M-L-XL-/221063754400?pt=UK_Men_s_Underwear&var=&hash=item33786d32a0

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Free-PnP-3-x-Mens-100-Cotton-Y-Fronts-Underwear-/230640252947?pt=UK_Men_s_Underwear&var=&hash=item35b33af813

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/3-MENS-100-COTTON-Y-FRONTS-UNDERWEAR-Sizes-M-L-XL-/120716679642?pt=UK_Men_s_Underwear&var=&hash=item1c1b4659da

I would like you to be either on your own, or with another female discussing and holding up the underpants. I want to be thoroughly verbally humiliated for wearing shameful Y fronts and for you and the second person (female) to thoroughly handle them and ensure I always wear the most humiliating, childish Y fronts I can find and continue my life wearing them. You could even use them to clean your toilet and wipe your bottom with.

The ones you supply shall become my everyday underpants. It will be so humiliating for me to know that one or two women have seen, handled and used my underpants which i must then wear and be completely humiliated for it.

Could the video be around 10 - 15 minutes long, and can you then post the underpants to me to wear after. Should you be happy with this I will email you my address and any further details you require. Please let me know if you can do this for me and how much it will cost. If it is not too expensive I will get the money sent over to you.

We can discuss details further if you want.

Regards

Underpants Boy


God give me strength! :FF

Hey Cat...wanna do this when I next come over? lmao
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xnataliax on 02 October 2012, 08:11:47 pm
got that fantastic offer today

hey there

silly question....married and in xxxx so outcalls very hard to do, do you do car meets(on my profile says i dont), hand job etc .....if so what kind of price?(also on profile)
Could be regular if intersted. I'm 100% genuine and clean guy, you can see what i look like on profile so things very discreet (cock pictures). As i say hand job, car meets, and if up for it and want to earn then who knows.....(excuse me??)

xxxx chat soon
 
i love how he makes it sound like he is doing me a favour  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 03 October 2012, 01:47:24 pm
We've mentioned this guy before (the all-you-can eat buffet one), here's a bit more (cut from our recent warnings and wasters post on this douchebag):

He started off fine - although a little off but I can't say why ("I am a mature, respectful Caucasian gentleman. Now in my 50's I enjoy the company of attractive young ladies with a sense of fun as well as a sense of humour."). Mentioned that he wanted to meet Amy alone, which is fine as we now offer that as a service, as well as mentioning that he may like to have a threesome in the future.

So far so good. We let him know that that's all ok. He then replied and mentioned that he'd like to try watersports with Amy standing over him in heels etc, and also that he wanted to use pussy pops.
We let him know that we always do watersports in the bath for cleanliness, which wouldn't be possible with heels but we could accommodate with all his other clothing requests. We also mentioned that we only had a photo of the pops for the sales section, and didn't offer it as a service.

He replied and started quoting parts of our profile, trying to make it sound like we offered these services - which is probably when we should have blocked him. Choice quote:
Quote
Watersports in the bath is usually a very cold and clinical affair, totally lacking any eroticism. This is why I prefer to drink whilst being face sat. I never spill a drop unless the lady has no control at all.
Almost accusing Amy of having no control! He did mention that he would respect our wishes but did so in a very sneery, sarky way which is hard to describe but leaves you with the sense that he thinks he's could find much better elsewhere etc. Anyway we replied and said that it's important as we rent etc and can not afford to let the carpets get soaked in piss! And the reasons for the pops stuff.

He came back with this, amongst other stuff:
Quote
With the pops, can I pay the extra ?? for Amy to prepare one for me whilst I watch? I would opt for an ass pop that could then be popped into a zipper bag for me to take away. I'll also enjoy rimming Amy as this is on her list of likes on Adultwork.

So now not only trying to get us to do services that we don't offer for more money (always a bad sign) but TELLING us that he WILL be doing rimming "As it's on her  list of likes" - as though whatever we offer on the profile, we HAVE to provide without discretion? He didn't even ask politely for that service, more TOLD us that he would be doing it.

We then had a few more back and forth emails, nothing noteworthy - mostly him confirming, asking what Amy would wear etc. He then sent us a long description of activities that he did with another escort, including her peeing in a glass and him drinking it. When we said that we could do that if he preferred that to being in the bath:

Quote
Amy using a glass to pee into may be preferential to me climbing into a cold bath, although I really like to receive it direct. If you prepare a glass (or I could bring one of my own) I will decide on the method when I meet Amy and see your bathroom tomorrow.
Again, nothing especially insidious but it really feels like he wants to have control over everything. There were a couple of other things that he mentioned which made us feel on edge also.
He then mentioned that he loves dirty talk, and when we told him that Amy doesn't really do that, as she's quite quiet/shy:

Quote
After reading about the bukkake and gang-bang parties on your AW profile I'm very surprised to hear Amy is shy. I would have thought she must have bags of confidence to entertain several guys at the same time, even with James in attendance. But I understand and will not expect a PSE from her.

Because apparently doing parties means you HAVE to be really outgoing and have a mouth like a sailor? Actually I (James) deal with all the comms, arranging and fees and Amy tends to be quite quiet during even the parties. It says all over our profile that we're quite quiet and shy, and offer much more of a GFE than a PSE. Our messages make this clear too but obviously this guy is a boundary pusher.

Anyway, at 2am this morning he says:
Quote
Would it be possible to make the booking for 11am if traffic is heavy? I'll try to be there by 10.30am as agreed but think traffic around Basingstoke could be a problem around the time I will need to leave.

Obviously we didn't see it or reply until this morning but just quickly replied and let him know that we'd prefer if he arrives on time, but will happily wait the extra half an hour.

So, we did.

At 11:10 we decided that he probably wasn't coming, and I came downstairs to let him know that he'll need to re-book, when I saw this charming message sent at 10:43 - 13 minutes after the meet should have started:

Quote
Hi Amy and James
After a lot of thought and reflection through the various emails, I have decided not to meet up with Amy today. I think I would be considerably disappointed by the experience as Amy is shy, nervous and not comfortable with certain activities without James being present. Although I understand and sympathise with her reticence, I would be paying ?160 and have to consider whether my money would be well spent as I am buying a service. I am selective and often pay a large tip above the agreed fee when things go well as I appreciate professionalism and the desire to satisfy.
I wish you both every success with your chosen business venture and hope Amy working alone works out satisfactorily.
Regards
T*** xx

So not only has he wasted our time with countless emails, been rude, presumptuous and boundary-pushing with our rules and services (and acted better-than-thou and fake-shock/surprised when we don't offer something, and then quoted our profile to use against us), he made us get ready for a meet and kept us waiting for 13 extra minutes when he was clearly not intending to turn up, and then sent us a shitty and self-congratulatory message to top it all off!

The way he writes just gives me the creeps - he's not nasty as such, just acts like he's so much better than us and uses fake-surprise and fake-politeness to cover up his thin veneer of judgemental and rude claptrap - I did write a really shitty message that I was going to send back to him, including how he's be blocked and reported to time-waster schemes across the web, but you just know he's the type of guy who will act all surprised, puppy-dog eyes style and go "what, me?" or get on his high horse about how his hard-earned cash should only be given to the very best of escorts who meet his stringent standards  ::).. So I didn't bother.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 04 October 2012, 01:38:27 pm
"Hello,

I've read your profile carefully, but I'm sure I can't see any reference to age limits. Since I'm twice your age and then some, I thought I'd better check. I've a lower limit of my own which is some way above your age, but like Oscar Wilde, I can resist everything except temptation. If you were minded to pursue an inappropriate liaison for an hour this afternoon, I'd suggest a game of doctors and nurses, which might be brought bang up to date - how about a game of Silvio Berlusconi and the under age Moroccan belly dancer? Albeit he's some way older than me, and she some way younger than you...

Silvio x"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady c on 05 October 2012, 11:00:35 pm
hello lady chanel i take you for meal /drink and you get a reward......? lol funny i think he was genuine though told him to call tomorrow will see.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 07 October 2012, 12:39:35 am
Yet another straight male escort doing the rounds, I got this on my new solo profile so clearly he thinks I'm brand new to the business and very naive:

"Hey hun,

How are you?

I am Mark. A male escort on AW. Just wanted to tell you that you look amazing babes. How is business going?

If you need any help or tips or anything on here or even more clients - I am more than happy to help.

P.S: I think your rates are low hun for your looks. You are worth more than that. x

Keep in touch.

Mark

Mobile:***********
Skype: **********
x"

I told him I'd been escorting for a year, usually meet with my boyfriend, pay my bills fine the way I'm working and am priced fine for my area. Also wished him well as 'I hear it's very tough to make it as a straight male escort'. Not had a reply strangely enough...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 07 October 2012, 09:00:29 am
Quote from: ilovedots on 04 October 2012, 01:38:27 pm
"Hello,

I've read your profile carefully, but I'm sure I can't see any reference to age limits. Since I'm twice your age and then some, I thought I'd better check. I've a lower limit of my own which is some way above your age, but like Oscar Wilde, I can resist everything except temptation. If you were minded to pursue an inappropriate liaison for an hour this afternoon, I'd suggest a game of doctors and nurses, which might be brought bang up to date - how about a game of Silvio Berlusconi and the under age Moroccan belly dancer? Albeit he's some way older than me, and she some way younger than you...

Silvio x"

This one is doing the rounds
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Escort38 on 07 October 2012, 10:33:28 am
By phone yesterday   "hoos this? u an escort?"   ::)

By text also yesterday  "hi hun fancy a meet were ar u"   ::)

By email recently     "saw yr prof n think u hot. Want to phone me babe?"


So that will be 3 lovely guys who will become my regular clients then  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 07 October 2012, 10:51:13 am
Oh Escort38, that text talk does make me cringe.  I'm sure you will enjoy meeting up with the intelligent gentmen.  ;) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 07 October 2012, 03:47:20 pm
How fucking rude!  >:(

I bid on a reverse booking for an overnight.

My rate is ?100 less on what he offered which is always good surely?

Apparently not! Sent me an email..

Hi Friday
thanks for your bid
is that your best ?
will let you know later in the week
if thats okay ?
take care sexy
xxx

How bloody cheeky!!  :FF

my repsonse

well lets change it then to your offer of ?500  ::)

Why does any guy think saying something like that is going to go well? that we can nw still meet and get on when you've offended me on first contact?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 07 October 2012, 07:11:01 pm
Quote from: Escort38 on 07 October 2012, 10:33:28 am
By phone yesterday   "hoos this? u an escort?"   ::)

By text also yesterday  "hi hun fancy a meet were ar u"   ::)

By email recently     "saw yr prof n think u hot. Want to phone me babe?"


So that will be 3 lovely guys who will become my regular clients then  ;D

I've had an idiot texting me 3 nights in a row very similar.

Text 1.... Hi, where are you from? (My profile says I'm 100" English!)
Then. ????? (as I didn't reply)

Text2 the following night. Who are you?

Text 3 the third night, Who the hell are you?

Though I suppose 2 and 3 could be from a wife/partner?

All ignored and number stored!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 07 October 2012, 08:03:34 pm
Email to private email address:

hi,

i will come to glasgow next weekend for a few days. i would be very interested to meet you at my hotel. i was wondering what nice things you offer and aha i can give you for that?

best regards

My Response:

Hi there

Everything you need to know can be found here: *insert link to AW profile*

Email via AW just received:

"hi,

i will come to glasgow next weekend for a few days. i would be very interested to meet you at my hotel. i was wondering what nice things you offer and aha i can give you for that?

best regards"

 :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 07 October 2012, 11:59:27 pm
Quote from: Friday on 07 October 2012, 08:03:34 pm
Email to private email address:

hi,

i will come to glasgow next weekend for a few days. i would be very interested to meet you at my hotel. i was wondering what nice things you offer and aha i can give you for that?

best regards

My Response:

Hi there

Everything you need to know can be found here: *insert link to AW profile*

Email via AW just received:

"hi,

i will come to glasgow next weekend for a few days. i would be very interested to meet you at my hotel. i was wondering what nice things you offer and aha i can give you for that?

best regards"

 :FF :FF :FF

I've just an email on AW from him, he's supposedly Austrian but apart from that it was worded exact same. My reply "Im sorry but I do not meet anyone who can't do something as simple as read my profile which has all details on it" Im usually nice but he has proved he can't follow simple instructions.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 08 October 2012, 12:05:09 pm
Had a lot of back and forth with this guy since July, but he never quite managed to make a booking in July, August or September. So as we've clearly discussed quite a bit with him over the last few months it was odd to get this from him this morning:

"Wow guys. You look like a great couple. Steve x"

Either he has a very short memory about who he's text before (though it's not like there are many couples around the area) or he's hoping we've forgotten who he is (we had a bit of a misunderstanding last time we were texting back and forth to arrange a potential booking).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 08 October 2012, 12:24:31 pm
Quote from: SexyBiAmy & James on 08 October 2012, 12:05:09 pm
Had a lot of back and forth with this guy since July, but he never quite managed to make a booking in July, August or September. So as we've clearly discussed quite a bit with him over the last few months it was odd to get this from him this morning:

"Wow guys. You look like a great couple. Steve x"

Either he has a very short memory about who he's text before (though it's not like there are many couples around the area) or he's hoping we've forgotten who he is (we had a bit of a misunderstanding last time we were texting back and forth to arrange a potential booking).

I get this all the time and on cam with guys I've cammed with before act like they've seen me before. Thats why my cam show is pretty the same every time as they never remember ha ha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Green Carnation on 08 October 2012, 03:29:36 pm
Received last night at 1.30am from someone I've never met:
'can cum now if u fancy some fun'

And this one a few days ago:
'are you open for business?'  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Escort38 on 08 October 2012, 04:17:35 pm
Just a few mins ago,

him  "ello! you the woman off the internet?"

me  "I don't know, who are you calling?"

him  "ummm, who's this?"

me  "sorry I can't help you, goodbye"

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 08 October 2012, 07:25:09 pm
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 07 October 2012, 11:59:27 pm
I've just an email on AW from him, he's supposedly Austrian but apart from that it was worded exact same. My reply "Im sorry but I do not meet anyone who can't do something as simple as read my profile which has all details on it" Im usually nice but he has proved he can't follow simple instructions.

I had this one, I'm not even an escort. Obviously doing the rounds, someone after a sexy story :)   
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: belladonnabbw on 08 October 2012, 07:49:26 pm
Magicmaxy,emailed this beauty.

First of I have to say how sexy you look although you must get told that all the time eh?
I see you do escorting, but I was wondering if you would do naughty e-mails too.
Obviouslty I'm not too near you, but I do travel with my job occasionally and would definately like to meet up with you soon.
It would be great to get 2 or 3 e MAILS from you initially to get to know you and to describe what we could do together when we meet up. Of course I'd be willing to pay for these if you were keen,
My names Max.... I'm 47 living in North Surrey, 6ft tall and fairly fit (with a gsoh too).
What do you think? fancy a chat???

After wanking fodder me thinks,lol..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 08 October 2012, 09:35:48 pm
We received this email at 8:30pm yesterday:

"From: R****** H******
Subject: Tonight

Good evening,
 
Is it possible to meet tonight at the Sheraton heathrow?  I would like to talk first if possible.  I am booked into room#12**...reservation is for B***** S*****.
 
I look forward to hearing from you.
 
All the best"

(Yes, the apparent reservation is under a different name from the one that sent the email)
We told him we don't go that far for outcalls, don't do short notice outcalls, we don't arrange details by phone and that we weren't taking any more bookings that night.

He then asked if he could come to us (a drive of 67 miles or so) and we had to repeat not tonight  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lucyjuicy on 09 October 2012, 11:30:21 am
Quote from: Daisy Harford on 08 October 2012, 10:40:39 pm
Quote from: belladonnabbw on 08 October 2012, 07:49:26 pm
Magicmaxy,emailed this beauty.

First of I have to say how sexy you look although you must get told that all the time eh?
I see you do escorting, but I was wondering if you would do naughty e-mails too.
Obviouslty I'm not too near you, but I do travel with my job occasionally and would definately like to meet up with you soon.
It would be great to get 2 or 3 e MAILS from you initially to get to know you and to describe what we could do together when we meet up. Of course I'd be willing to pay for these if you were keen,
My names Max.... I'm 47 living in North Surrey, 6ft tall and fairly fit (with a gsoh too).
What do you think? fancy a chat???

After wanking fodder me thinks,lol..

Yes, but if it's cash first and you agree on the length and number of emails I'm always happy to do it (providing I'm really rather bored otherwise  ;D)

Yup, looks to me like he wants to pay for a sexual service and an easy non messy one to boot. Isn't that what we do :o He can book me like that anytime.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 09 October 2012, 11:06:27 pm
Do we have a champion here??  :o :o :o

why i write these mad word,s that rap and rime i will never no until thy time run,s out then il no if these words i rap and rime are just madness of thy mind but until then il keep writing these raps no rimes as there from thy soul and thy heart so forget thy mind as there apart and confused by thy dullness of this life rap,s of change rime,s of wisdom times have missed them now there here and there near so let them hear raps of change rime,s of wisdom's the time they are a changing for thy mother and all thy soul,s no laws no holes no work no poles for thy mother and thy soul,s for we will live as one people one soul in harmony with thy mother in our soul.s just what thy soul.s need,s so greed no more in thy mind,s of man nor woman as the time,s they are a changing forever for thy mother of our soul.s so our soul.s will walk free with thy mother forever free rimes of wisdom let all read thy truth rap,s of change tell thy truth so on thy don of thy new world all thy rime,s of wisdom of thy old world will be granted to all thy men and women of thy new world as thy book of life will be open to all amen 21/8/2012

funny old world we walk it,s funny old world we live the old we get hairy and wiser we get now in this world we cross paths with real good soul,s who respect your soul for the person you are for the deed thy ow whiter it be paper blood or water that onset,s soul will be truth full to you there whole life as that,s one true soul more so that,s one true friend but you will walk throw out life crossing lot of path,s many soul,s will take your kindness for granted but that soul,s are rat,s some walk funny hum silly chants dress funny some are friends but all same rat,s are rodents who live of good soul,s scrap,s to feed there boring scrap,s while we work hard they rome like rat sniffing out scraps so to all you rats who read these word,s you will no your a rat and will feel like one to so rodent,s who read these word,s stop what your doing what ever it be walking funny humming silly chant,s or dressing funny most all stop talk shit so come some out of hiding and talk as i don't give a fuck what use,s do or what use,s have dun or what say for i would like true soul,s by my side than run around hiding doing what they do hum what want am who i am you no who am so say to me no hum and run and hide making out am mad as we all no am clean off it now if want join this line as true soul should be on that hill when the line right thy swan in thy sky will aline as one with thy swan on that hill thy soul,s on that hill will be eternal as one forever free forever young from thy rat race and there rodent,s forever free for ever as one amen 21/8/2012

today a beautiful light today a beautiful light in this rainy world as soon this beautiful rainy world will see the light of our lord to warm thy heart of thy mother and all thy soul.s contend on her land and in her ocean,s so thy mother thy soul,s can see and feel thy light of thy lord and breath in heaven as times they are a changing forever to all thy lord,s chosen soul,s of thy lord,s world thy soul,s will have thy gift of thy lord,s lord,s world when thy time run,s in aline with thy star,s off thy sky aline as one star,s on that hill thy gate,s to heaven will be in thy grasp so if thy soul is free to clean cut thy hole in front of thy queen thy star,s in sky thy soul,s on that hill will marry as one forever young forever free as we be in thy lord,s lord,s playground forever as one amen 21/8/12

lonely soul lonely star where are thou in thy sky where are thou on thy land homely soul homely star as there lot,s of land on thy earth lonely soul lonely star or should you be looking on thy earth for thy star and in thy sky for thy soul so keep your eyes pealed as you you will see us both soon 13/8/12

ow flower ow flower what powerful coloer you blossom ow flower ow flower what powerful sight you give for our soul,s to see ow ow flower how wet you look for you feel wet to look good ow flower ow flower what powerful life you live to give life to this beautiful world lots beautiful food for lots beautiful soul,s ow flower ow flower your one use full tool 13/8/2012

thy mind is thy gold of thy soul so break free thy mind from thy fool,s gold so thy mind can taste for seeing thy light of our lord as our mind,s are mentally poised forever been cleansed with there mist they been granted by that fool,s gold we call foolishly fake they take thy knowledge shined so bright now they use to poise our minds forever insulating our soul,s so now thy time right for all thy lords chosen soul,s stood together as one people one soul to melt that fools gold for good so them golden ball lickers will have no fool,s gold to hum or chant for there knowledge now we can fire it back at them fool,s for our mind,s our soul,s are stronger as one people one soul not 13 fool,s tosser,s or dead stone,s that fools gold gave thy insight to this life 26000 years ago so them 13 family can enslave our mind insulate our soul,s live like lords humming to be gods as i write this them 13 fool,s tosser or dead stone,s are still humming there chant,s which means for ever kissing thy fool,s gold small little brittle balls ow can get some more knowledge balls now how sad,s that enslaving millions of mind,s forever cutting millions of soul,s with there bullets throw thy mean war,s there mean mind,s create just so the 13 fool,s tosser or dead stone,s families what ever they call the self,s can live like lord,s forever begging to god,s of thy underworld as them there are kissing thy peasant,s foolishly goldenly fake balls 1000,s of sad year,s now thy old fools have been foolishly fools tossing there chant,s while been foolish cold blooded dead stone,s tossing away blowing in the wind while living like lord,s but really there just peasant,s trying to scratch a living out all thy hard working soul,s thy lord,s world for now there plans worked but i will say from thy soul that there 26000 years of war against thy lord,s chosen soul,s will end soon very soon as i no whats near for that fool,s gold for them there golden ball licker,s have been silly old soul,s just well so when thy licker,s and them there ball,,s,s,s aline right thy lord,s line will be right in thy night them there ball,s,s,s with them licker,s looking on will feel the might in thy night as it,s right to finish thy fight for when thy line right them there ball,s and tongs will feel thy wrath of thy lord amen 13/8/2012

in india wee walk wee talk wee roll we walk on thy devil,s rock wee smoke wee talk wee walk on that soft rock it remind,s me of one i meant this year soft brittle green and slimy like no utter rock in this world i see thy lord,s holy water forever fresh forever free as it flow,s to piss on that soft rock so i drink before it melt,s that soft rock as soft green slimy rock wee walk wee talk where stoned am happy that soft rock,s gone 13/8/2012

smiling happy feeling free where ever i be smoking weed smiling happy feeling free to do as i feel the time is wright to feel free where ever i be as time they are a changing walk down the street rolling down the street standing on the corner just about rolled time talking smoking standing on the corner stoned on that good old weed hey it,s supper time walk talk smiling hap feeling free smoking weed where ever i be 13/8/2012


soldier soldier blowing in thy wind cold wet and sweaty and hot tired and torn worn and board peanuts for pay so solider blowing in the wind like wet lit candle with a melted riffle in you hip or on your back blowing in the wind wet and cold sweaty and hot tired and torn worn and board peanut,s pay life on the line for nut i want live mine no die for nut so soldier soldier blowing in the wind let change that lined and drop them toys boy,s stand as one one people not 13 fool,s with army,s as one we can fire the wet wick,s back at them old yao heads at white hall which we call white paw,s who will never see of hear or smell a shell they make or sell as there hotter,s are full off snow there brain,s washed with a mist of fire and there ear,s dulled with all thy bumble bee humming thy 13 family,s have been chanting ow give me some knowledge please for 1000,s of sad year now how evil,s that so they can build army.s and try be lord of this world by enslaving our mind with there nasty knowledge from the devil as every soul who read this is stuck thy devil juice we call money that just one nasty trick them old men invented at the start now that was 1000,,s of year,s ago now how many more have they pull out his ass since then they been silly old men so soldier soldier blowing in the wind them old men are humming spirt,s blowing there hotter,s with snow partying like rock star,s while begging to god,s while you boy are dying blowing in the wind wet and cold hot an sweaty help our soul,s draw that line stand as one then put the toy,s in there box in the ground forever let us be free let grow as one so soldier soldier blowing in the wind time to join this line we will all be one we will all be free forever young 13/8/2012

what can you say if you read some book,s thy book,s say one has thy gift of sight into thy future and all thy dream,s of thy soul come true in time as thy soul who write can say all his dream,s come true now i would say i can see thy future but all who i tell will say mad he,s sick so from now on i will tell nothing of thy dream,s of thy soul as thy soul will smile and laugh as i no what near 21.5.12

ow dav ow dav tell tail,s tame thy flame ow derv ow derv let finish this game thy times is near thy time is soon to cool and tame that flame to finish this game as gone on to long ow dav ow dav how are you going to blame that flame when thy time runs in aline with thy sky that evil game will be melted by thy light of our lord so all as one we can play that new game now all thy lord,s soul,s will light that flame eternal as one for what flame she will be brighter free where ever it be for ever free forever what ever land thy soul,s walk 13/8/2012

i fly to cash i meet ash who has a tash we dash in flash in his heap off trash to float on thy lords blissful lotus lake for 3 day i plan to stay to open thy blissful lotus of thy soul but ash with tash say many bad soul,s have scorched your soul so your soul need more time on this blissful lotus lake i take on thy wise word,s of ash and spend 9 more day on thy lords blissful lotus lake 12 day,s in all how funny,s that to find out that on that 21st it,s xmas day thy day levee now when i was young boy there was song on12 days xmas my true love said to me there,s so many wings of all shape,s and size,s flying low and playing hight note,s feeling free now on thy first day of xmas there was no wing,s flying so no note,s play just a partridge in pear tree now that thy lord at work riddle,s no rime,s of thy lord,s chosen word,s maybe am wrong maybe am wright so when thy star,s aline with thy time we will all no if am wrong or wright thy funny this is before i write this today i buy jewels for my mum for my mum i guess this man date of birth 21st jan i was right strange my mum 21st sep hows cool that no same day write i email to my mum he's i sit at one and say in my mind he put two and he's did now i look back in thy book i first write this riddle no rime it was thy 12th riddle no rime in thy book lol 21/8/2012

as thy fire of thy soul heat thy fire of thy heart give life to thy body off thy soul feel,s thy light of thy lord as will thy soul of thy mother giving thy mother thy air to breath thy light to grow more fruitful to be brighter than ever thou one has told in thy garden of eden as thy mother soul is clean of evil from her shore,s her heart and thy air we she breath upon forever and ever in thy garden of eden for thy mother been cleansed by thy son,s of thy light amen 21/3/12

in thy night we will fight for thy light throw thy night till thy light we will fight for our right,s for thy light throw thy night we will fight for thy light for ever young we will fight in the night for our right,s we win thy fight of thy night as we thy son,s of light will light thy night to free thy darkknight with thy light so don,t worry as ever little thing,s going to be orite on that night as right to finish thy night for good for thy mother and her,s soul,s now her soul,s shall grow as one eternal free in thy light we will be as we thy son,s of thy light have cleansed thy mother,s soul and her air she breath a,pon and thy land thy soul walk,s will be free and clean forever in thy garden of eden amen 25.9.12

boom boom thy room to thy 13 i met at thy start of boom , boom boom thy moon boom boom shake thy room for thy moon at noon will go boom , boom shake shake thy room which hill will you be on when she go,s boom at noon boom boom shake shake thy room so thy 13 boom boomer,s i in pose on at thy start of boom follow my lead follow my this bread to help better our new free roll amen
so you work today


holy moly here i am feeling locked from thy sky as thy lost thy key to thy sky now iv found thy key from thy sky just in time to open thy sky with thy key from sky i will dance like i should humming my chant,s of thy sky holy moly an in thy sky it warm it free in thy sky



now where free from thy cold we will rome round thy globe warmer free in thy soul forever young from thy pole to thy north to thy pole to thy south we rome around this globe forever more forever young forever free from thy cold we will rome this globe as one we will be hotter in thy might brighter in thy soul lighter smarter on thy feet so thy wings of thy soul can spread thy love in thy sky forever young forever wise now we can open our eye,s as where free to rome this globe forever young for ever free amen

in thy night we will prevail throw thy darkness to thy light as right in thy heart and thy soul as cold in thy soul as it cold on that day to cool thy darkness of that day we flight in our soul,s to win thy fight over our mind,s from thy dullness of that fight for thy light as were thy generation who has thy gift on that dark cold day we will fight in our soul,s for our mind and thy soul,s who stand by and watch thy might of our light as where thy sons of thy light 21.9.12

i see thy bad moon falling like a stone from thy sky thy bad moon arising to thy left falling to thy right as thy end is coming soon bad moon arising where shall we watch thy bad moon falling what hill will you be on as i no what hill she,s falls for she cold and wet that hill my hill will be warm and wet bad moon arising she shall fall from thy sky soon bad moon arising 21-9-12


Personally I think he needs to work on his grammer...and his poems.....and his life  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 10 October 2012, 12:15:07 am
Quote from: Friday on 09 October 2012, 11:06:27 pm
Do we have a champion here??  :o :o :o
[snip]

Oooookkkkkkkk only thing to say to that is wtf is he on.





[giant superfluous quote removed: it's all there in the post above]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 10 October 2012, 12:17:25 am
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 10 October 2012, 12:15:07 am
Oooookkkkkkkk only thing to say to that is wtf is he on.

You're guess is as good as mine!! lol The title just said "read these Poems"  :-\

Well they are pretty shit! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 10 October 2012, 12:39:27 am
Quote from: Friday on 10 October 2012, 12:17:25 am
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 10 October 2012, 12:15:07 am
Oooookkkkkkkk only thing to say to that is wtf is he on.

You're guess is as good as mine!! lol The title just said "read these Poems"  :-\

Well they are pretty shit! lol

He should try writing fan-fiction, majority of the writers can't be bothered to spell or use grammar correctly.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 10 October 2012, 01:15:10 am
I had a guy always sending me poems by text though I've never met him. I use to reply but got bored and since ignoring they're not as frequent, but still get about one a month! lol YAWNNNN
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Little_Miss_Misanthropy on 10 October 2012, 01:26:54 am
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 10 October 2012, 12:39:27 am


He should try writing fan-fiction, majority of the writers can't be bothered to spell or use grammar correctly.

True; but Sirius Black always shags someone so it's better than Mills and Boon....

I got a message today 'Babe I'm hard' - sorry wtf?!

'ooh yeah do me now with your giant hard penis'...

no actually,

'?130 incalls, ?150 outcalls - message me when the blood starts circulating to your brain'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 10 October 2012, 01:50:00 am
Quote from: Little Miss Misanthropy on 10 October 2012, 01:26:54 am
I got a message today 'Babe I'm hard' - sorry wtf?!

'ooh yeah do me now with your giant hard penis'...


I reply to dreck like that with 'Who are you, and why are you texting my husband?' ;D

I think it's one of Amanda's.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 10 October 2012, 10:56:09 am
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 10 October 2012, 12:39:27 am

He should try writing fan-fiction, majority of the writers can't be bothered to spell or use grammar correctly.

When I used to do just phones years ago I used to have this guy phone me who read to me his "erotica". Very much Chistian Grey type and it was totally shit, so boring! Yes good for me nice long calls but I stuggled to keep my eyes open  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Escort38 on 10 October 2012, 11:20:50 am
I am sure I missed out on the booking of a lifetime last night!

Text message:

"hey girl!"

I could hardly sleep for dreaming of how wonderful this man probably is.

 ??? ::) ???

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 10 October 2012, 11:28:01 am
Quote from: Little Miss Misanthropy on 10 October 2012, 01:26:54 am
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 10 October 2012, 12:39:27 am


He should try writing fan-fiction, majority of the writers can't be bothered to spell or use grammar correctly.

True; but Sirius Black always shags someone so it's better than Mills and Boon....

I got a message today 'Babe I'm hard' - sorry wtf?!

'ooh yeah do me now with your giant hard penis'...

no actually,

'?130 incalls, ?150 outcalls - message me when the blood starts circulating to your brain'.

Im actually addicted to fan-fiction lol, has to be slash (m/m) though.

Just had this classic "U Free?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Green Carnation on 10 October 2012, 03:01:21 pm
I have a regural who is a complete mess, i'm not sure if any of you would put up with things this guy does (wants to arrange an appointment, then makes up a story about a broken car, angry boss, unexpected client,an earthquake- you name it). I never take him seriously, and always assume that he will cancel, so never plan anything around him-if he turns up he turns up. But when i do finally see him, he seems really nice and apologetic.
Anyway, this time he just crossed the line- he arranged to meet me, and also suggested we should go for lunch beforehand, to my local pub, as he described 'on him'. That's fine by me, i didn't have anything better to do, and a free lunch is always good.
He then texted me 'i am 10 minutes away, but just remembered that my credit card isn't working. I don't have any cash. Should we risk it and see what happens?'
I replied 'just forget it'
I am not sure howhe was going to pay ME, apart from the lunch bill, if he didn't have any cash?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nora batty on 10 October 2012, 04:44:11 pm
stallionm (0) Profile Block    07/01/2012 21:30    Mark b 31/12/2011 00:00-23:30 on 44860000XX   In-Call    10 hour(s)    0 EUR          
   i order you to meet me on this date in limerick. I also order you to arrange the place to stay and to contact me when you have done so. Please be quick about it and i order you to contact me back on the 31st to confirm. Do not dissapoint me in anyway.

fake number, wants it free and orders me to not dissappoint him lol.

i just love a bossy man with a fake booking.  oh i missed out big time  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sarahyorks on 10 October 2012, 11:09:08 pm
Just seen this reverse booking:

Please read carefully before bidding. I am seeking unprotected services, if you do not offer such services please do not bid (or waste your time and mine by commenting).

Price indicated includes any travel fee and I am happy to book rail or air in advance for you if you have 10 or more positive feedback in the last 6 months for escorting.

I am seeking a slim woman, max size 12 and preferrably busty, who is prepared to offer the following services.

* all unprotected porn star experience
* anal
* you will be submissive for some mild rough play
* travel to me dressed in fetish wear (latex, leather with extreme high heels etc)
* unlimited photography for personal use (although not more than 10 or so pics, probably)

You should be a fluent English speaker and your bid should include an acceptance of all the criteria. Empty bids are likely to be ignored.

Note, date is flexible. I can do 15th, 16th, 17th or 18th.

All this can be yours for ?1000 ladies
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Little_Miss_Misanthropy on 10 October 2012, 11:19:04 pm
My message of the night is from someone who messaged me claiming he's 'only ever had sex once' - yet has been a member of AW for 4 years (no feedback).

If he turns up I'll donate any money given to the nearest homeless person I see (which come the end of the month will be me if I look in a mirror ;D)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 11 October 2012, 08:55:12 am
Quote from: Little Miss Misanthropy on 10 October 2012, 11:19:04 pm
My message of the night is from someone who messaged me claiming he's 'only ever had sex once' - yet has been a member of AW for 4 years (no feedback).

If he turns up I'll donate any money given to the nearest homeless person I see (which come the end of the month will be me if I look in a mirror ;D)

Some men do spend years looking at profiles before taking the plunge.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 11 October 2012, 10:28:17 am
Quote from: sarahyorks on 10 October 2012, 11:09:08 pm
Just seen this reverse booking:

Please read carefully before bidding. I am seeking unprotected services, if you do not offer such services please do not bid (or waste your time and mine by commenting).

Price indicated includes any travel fee and I am happy to book rail or air in advance for you if you have 10 or more positive feedback in the last 6 months for escorting.

I am seeking a slim woman, max size 12 and preferrably busty, who is prepared to offer the following services.

* all unprotected porn star experience
* anal
* you will be submissive for some mild rough play
* travel to me dressed in fetish wear (latex, leather with extreme high heels etc)
* unlimited photography for personal use (although not more than 10 or so pics, probably)

You should be a fluent English speaker and your bid should include an acceptance of all the criteria. Empty bids are likely to be ignored.

Note, date is flexible. I can do 15th, 16th, 17th or 18th.

All this can be yours for ?1000 ladies

Hey Sarah I bet he didnt get too many bids !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 11 October 2012, 12:00:59 pm
Quote from: orchidperfume on 11 October 2012, 10:28:17 am

Hey Sarah I bet he didnt get too many bids !!!

I bet he does! some girls just dont read the details lol  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sarahyorks on 11 October 2012, 05:08:01 pm
Quote from: Friday on 11 October 2012, 12:00:59 pm
Quote from: orchidperfume on 11 October 2012, 10:28:17 am

Hey Sarah I bet he didnt get too many bids !!!

I bet he does! some girls just dont read the details lol  ::)


Just checked, he's got 3!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverbird on 11 October 2012, 09:10:55 pm
Quote
Posted by: ChrissieDavaar
? on: October 10, 2012, 11:28:01 AM ? Insert Quote  Im actually addicted to fan-fiction lol, has to be slash (m/m) though.

Try 'Literotica' ;) I've had many a wild, wet fantasy reading the stories on this site :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 11 October 2012, 10:17:46 pm
Quote from: Violette on 30 August 2009, 03:54:23 pm
All this technology has a lot to answer for, now instead of giving idiots a cooling off period, they can spread all their silliness all over the place, and sometimes for free. OI VEY!

I know that one but Im too attached to my Harry Potter (Harry and any of the hot males, especially Snape, Draco, Lucius, Bill or Charlie), Supernatural (Dean/Castiel or Sam/Gabriel)
and Twilight (Edward/Jacob) slash.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 12 October 2012, 08:56:58 am
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 11 October 2012, 10:17:46 pm
Quote from: Violette on 30 August 2009, 03:54:23 pm
All this technology has a lot to answer for, now instead of giving idiots a cooling off period, they can spread all their silliness all over the place, and sometimes for free. OI VEY!

I know that one but Im too attached to my Harry Potter (Harry and any of the hot males, especially Snape, Draco, Lucius, Bill or Charlie), Supernatural (Dean/Castiel or Sam/Gabriel)
and Twilight (Edward/Jacob) slash.

Haha. I love all that and could never read fan fiction because it would totally ruin it for me? Btw, isn't dean from supernatural one of the most beautiful looking men on the planet?

If you like all that stuff you should try the dark hunter series by sherrilyn Kenyon. Such good books.

Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vampera on 12 October 2012, 09:29:11 am
I had a Phone Call last night....it went something like this:

Man: Hi There, do you do Outcalls

Me:  Sorry, no, I only do In Calls

Man: Well I don't live far from you.

Me:  Well then you can come to me

Man:  Well I don't mean to alarm you but I've just come out of Prison and I have a Tag on my Ankle that means I am not allowed out at night....are you sure you wouldn't consider an OutCall?


LoL....To be fair he DID sound like a nice Guy but I just won't take the risks with Out Calls....I don't feel safe with them....And I don't have a Car so it's hard to get to Places....

Bless him....I wonder if he managed to see someone???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 12 October 2012, 09:53:29 am
Quote from: casey_kisses on 12 October 2012, 08:56:58 am
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 11 October 2012, 10:17:46 pm
Quote from: Violette on 30 August 2009, 03:54:23 pm
All this technology has a lot to answer for, now instead of giving idiots a cooling off period, they can spread all their silliness all over the place, and sometimes for free. OI VEY!

I know that one but Im too attached to my Harry Potter (Harry and any of the hot males, especially Snape, Draco, Lucius, Bill or Charlie), Supernatural (Dean/Castiel or Sam/Gabriel)
and Twilight (Edward/Jacob) slash.

Haha. I love all that and could never read fan fiction because it would totally ruin it for me? Btw, isn't dean from supernatural one of the most beautiful looking men on the planet?

If you like all that stuff you should try the dark hunter series by sherrilyn Kenyon. Such good books.

Xx

Oh my god yes, how can someone so masculine looking have those lips, I mean seriously women would kill to have lips like that. Prime Texas beef lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 12 October 2012, 11:24:54 am
We've heard from this guy pretty much constantly for five days and he wanted to meet today in about half an hour, we were unsurprised when he didn't confirm...

He started with this:

"Would love a meet- just a couple of quick questions- I am 100% straight is this OK ? I would like James to join in but only with Amy. Plus would Amy wear a tight white top(no bra) and a denim skirt with black thong?
Sorry to be fussy but as coming down from London..."

Every time he asked for something that we said was fine, he'd say something like "really pleased X is fine/great", and the "I'm coming from London" thing kept coming up as if we needed to bow to his every specific whim just because he'd chosen to drive so far to see us.

He apparently was going to buy something from my Adultwork wishlist but the one thing he tried to buy was sold out so he then let me know that:

"just went on to your wishlist to buy you a little something for replying so quickly."

Which was rather condescending. Then when he started making an actual booking he said:

"Friday lunchtime ish looking possible- about 12 say for 1 hour- see how it goes! Hard to be absolute as driving from London. How does that sound?"

We told him he had to be more specific with time and such so maybe he should come on a day when he's less rushed.

He said he'd watched a load of our movies on Weds night (I'm inclined to believe him as our statement shows several being bought in succession just before he messaged to say he was really excited about meeting on Friday) which seemed like another attempt to get a few brownie points.

He then insisted that he could only arrange the final details by phone (we keep everything to messages so we have a written record of the details) and got a bit funny when we said it'd have to be by message, but he said he'd confirm as we requested to get the address. And we've heard nothing else despite him reading our last message yesterday first thing. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady c on 12 October 2012, 12:13:31 pm
hi lady/c would like to see you and if we get along u will get your reward...me.... what do u mean reward...him... we shall meet have coffee if i like you and you like me will will have a personal service if not we will just go our own way.. me...  no thanks.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Adria30 on 12 October 2012, 03:43:17 pm
"Hi my name is Don and Im hoping to meet you

I have a new STD paper from clinic and Im hoping you may consider sex no condom as I can prove you will be safe with my new paper from the clinic.

Hoping you say yes as this is planned as a one off treat for me.

Best
Don"

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 12 October 2012, 04:04:31 pm
Quote from: Adria30 on 12 October 2012, 03:43:17 pm
"Hi my name is Don and Im hoping to meet you

I have a new STD paper from clinic and Im hoping you may consider sex no condom as I can prove you will be safe with my new paper from the clinic.

Hoping you say yes as this is planned as a one off treat for me.

Best
Don"

Hopefully he's just trying to provoke you into giving him some verbal abuse he can get off on, he can't be for real!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pearl on 12 October 2012, 04:09:00 pm
Quote from: Adria30 on 12 October 2012, 03:43:17 pm
"Hi my name is Don and Im hoping to meet you

I have a new STD paper from clinic and Im hoping you may consider sex no condom as I can prove you will be safe with my new paper from the clinic.

Hoping you say yes as this is planned as a one off treat for me.

Best
Don"


I do not think it's a real booking.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Adria30 on 12 October 2012, 04:46:44 pm
I dont care it is real or not , just dont understand why they choose to contact girls who is not offering this kind of services  >:( . By the way he has two positive feedbacks and one from girl who is offering bareback  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimmy on 12 October 2012, 10:11:27 pm
Quote from: Adria30 on 12 October 2012, 04:46:44 pm
I dont care it is real or not , just dont understand why they choose to contact girls who is not offering this kind of services  >:( . By the way he has two positive feedbacks and one from girl who is offering bareback  :o

I get BB messages all the time and I sometimes think its cos im young and they think easier to manipulate, they clearly dont read my profile and i just block them

i read on a punter forum a punter posted he was specifically messaging girls who had no mention of BB in their profile and didnt have it selected as a like on AW, asking if they did BB because according to him clients should be 'wary' of girls who dont specifically say in their profile they dont offer BB and that every punter should presume girls who dont say that they dont offer it, are offering it  ??? so he was trying to 'catch girls out' offering it who dont post that they do on their profile and then looking to 'out' them on punter forums

so therefore the client could either be a bareback seeker to be avoided or a scheming twat who has no respect or belief in your profile and who just wants to damage your rep if he can, avoid them all  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 13 October 2012, 12:49:33 pm
Reverse booking on AW from guy with no feedback, "looking for a hot clean girl for fun including bareback to completion in my hotel. I am mid 40s ok looking very clean and fun to be with.

Girls all this (clymidia, hiv and everything else) can be yours for ?600 for 2hrs.

Theres 5 bids better hurry and get in there.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Little_Miss_Misanthropy on 13 October 2012, 03:30:00 pm
Quote from: Strawberry on 11 October 2012, 08:55:12 am

Some men do spend years looking at profiles before taking the plunge.

..And he was one of them!!My God he was a beautiful 25 year old, who was just so nervous about having sex, and had wanted to book an escort for ages but couldn't!And he said it was just that my profile was so sweet and nice, what a bland USP; nice. But if it gets me more like him I'll be delighted!

Fuck me, I just fucked a hottie - isn't life grand!

Right, I'm going to have to find a homeless person and give them some moolah....

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 14 October 2012, 01:17:58 am
"Booking"

Yep, just got that as a text...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 14 October 2012, 02:12:58 am
Quote from: Little Miss Misanthropy on 13 October 2012, 03:30:00 pm
Quote from: Strawberry on 11 October 2012, 08:55:12 am

Some men do spend years looking at profiles before taking the plunge.

..And he was one of them!!My God he was a beautiful 25 year old, who was just so nervous about having sex, and had wanted to book an escort for ages but couldn't!And he said it was just that my profile was so sweet and nice, what a bland USP; nice. But if it gets me more like him I'll be delighted!

Fuck me, I just fucked a hottie - isn't life grand!

Right, I'm going to have to find a homeless person and give them some moolah....
So nice when a fine specimen of manhood walks into your room. It makes all the idiot clients fade to the background.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: WelshieGirly on 14 October 2012, 09:15:28 am
Hello everyone :)

Not a new member but hardly ever post so i though I would say hello!

Got this text from a reg -

Him: Shopping trip required!
Me: For What? *Thinking: ooo I get presents as well as my hourly fee*
Him: Need new clothes to impress new gf, need you to help me! *Damn it!*
Me: What do I get in return? *Thinking: well I will still charge you my hourly fee and try and get free stuff too!*
Him: Well its not sex so I wont pay you, but you will have my eternal gratitude and appreciation, maybe lunch too!

At this point I am wondering if I can pay my bills with the doggy bag I might take away from lunch!

Me: You will have to come up with something better than that!
Him: Oh... ok... will let you know...

I love how he comes across at the end of the text like I am being unreasonable! I am going to find out how much a personal shopper chargers an hour and send him over the details!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 15 October 2012, 08:30:02 am
Quote from: F-g on 14 October 2012, 09:15:28 am
Hello everyone :)

Not a new member but hardly ever post so i though I would say hello!

Got this text from a reg -

Him: Shopping trip required!
Me: For What? *Thinking: ooo I get presents as well as my hourly fee*
Him: Need new clothes to impress new gf, need you to help me! *Damn it!*
Me: What do I get in return? *Thinking: well I will still charge you my hourly fee and try and get free stuff too!*
Him: Well its not sex so I wont pay you, but you will have my eternal gratitude and appreciation, maybe lunch too!

At this point I am wondering if I can pay my bills with the doggy bag I might take away from lunch!

Me: You will have to come up with something better than that!
Him: Oh... ok... will let you know...

I love how he comes across at the end of the text like I am being unreasonable! I am going to find out how much a personal shopper chargers an hour and send him over the details!
You might find they charge more than you!  ;D
You may also remind him, that he isn't paying you for sex, but your time. Cheeky sod.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 15 October 2012, 01:22:45 pm
Came home to this text:

I'm 36 I'm kinky I wear panties. I have tatts and piercings and love to be pissed in and on xxxx



eh.. congratulations?  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 15 October 2012, 04:06:08 pm
Guy by text yesterday afternoon: Hey hun how's you x
Us: <blurb about if he'd like to make a booking tell us when/how long/what he wants to do>
Guy: Saturday 20th Oct 2pm feet
Us: <scratching heads> The time is fine, what did you wish to do?
Guy: My name is xxxx, I like smelly feet and bondage
Guy: 2 hours

After a bit more back and forth about whether he was happy to meet us as a couple or not and about the fact we don't offer heavy BDSM and our feet are quite clean thanks:

Guy: Am hour I'd fine, just want to be suffocated
Us: We don't offer suffocation
Guy: And u don't have smelly feet
Us: No sorry
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimmy on 15 October 2012, 07:55:42 pm
text today-

'is your pussy as nice as it looks on your private gallery, and do you do bareback?'

blocked!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lucyjuicy on 16 October 2012, 08:26:13 am
Quote from: Kimmy on 15 October 2012, 07:55:42 pm
text today-

'is your pussy as nice as it looks on your private gallery, and do you do bareback?'

blocked!  ;D

Bless, pussy praise, I'm suprised that wasnt enough for you to jump at the bb offer. Mine looks lovely but can cause a violent allergic reaction if it comes  into contact with bare skin, punch in the face maybe  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lacey.walker on 16 October 2012, 08:55:10 am
Hi ladies,
I find this one annoying but amusing, thought to share.:)
-------

 
Hey,

 
It would be great to use your services if you would like to use mine
 
I am doing different home improvement works, such as:
 
Painting and decorating
Tiling
Plastering
Plumbing
Handyman jobs
Kitchen and bathroom installations
 
If you would require any of these, I would be more than happy to help and we can hopefully exchange our services
 
I have been in the business for years and I give my best with every project.
 
Hope to hear from you, if not now, then maybe in future.
 
 
Cheers,
Paul
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: WelshieGirly on 16 October 2012, 09:47:33 am
Quote from: Lacey.walker on 16 October 2012, 08:55:10 am
Hi ladies,
I find this one annoying but amusing, thought to share.:)
-------

These piss me off too, once i replied saying I dont need your services! He said ok and booked anyway! Ha!

This morning is got this message -

Today could be the day! I want to make your boobs swing whats your number.

*deleted* No... today isnt the day!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 16 October 2012, 12:04:16 pm
Quote from: F-g on 16 October 2012, 09:47:33 am
This morning is got this message -

Today could be the day! I want to make your boobs swing whats your number.

*deleted* No... today isnt the day!

I had a similar one a while back, made me laugh so much!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lexi on 16 October 2012, 08:53:10 pm
Had a lovely guy leave me with 3 texts today which I picked up at the same time as I'm not working today (bearing in mind I don't take booking via text):

1st one: Hi baby, I want to see u at 1330, can you text me ur address

2nd one: What time r u available this afternoon?

3rd one: U are such a bitch

...Took all my will to not respond to this! First time since I started over a year and a half ago I've ever received something like this haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pearl on 16 October 2012, 09:12:02 pm
Quote from: Lacey.walker on 16 October 2012, 08:55:10 am
Hi ladies,
I find this one annoying but amusing, thought to share.:)
-------

You had to answer:
"What do you prefer? Gumtree or Cum-for-free?"
 ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 16 October 2012, 09:14:37 pm
Quote from: Lexi on 16 October 2012, 08:53:10 pm
Had a lovely guy leave me with 3 texts today which I picked up at the same time as I'm not working today (bearing in mind I don't take booking via text):

1st one: Hi baby, I want to see u at 1330, can you text me ur address

2nd one: What time r u available this afternoon?

3rd one: U are such a bitch

...Took all my will to not respond to this! First time since I started over a year and a half ago I've ever received something like this haha

These guys have me in stitches! Of course we're sat around waiting for their text so we can jump to it and see them regardless of what else might be going on! Had a guy ring today and as I wasn't able take the call my automatic call handler asked them to leave a message which he did by text: "Are you available?" As I wasn't able to respond in 8 minutes I got another text "???"!!! Sorry but you're now blacklisted! I don't have the time to spend on people with that kind of attitude!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lexi on 16 October 2012, 10:12:29 pm
I know its pathetic really! The text with ??? has annoyed me just reading that now and would block them too grrr... Same with emails, its so off-putting seeing 2-3 from the same person in one night!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: dee_licious on 16 October 2012, 10:40:34 pm
i got this charming email this eve on aw

Wud u be up for k9 fun ?

deleted and blocked
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimmy on 16 October 2012, 11:02:04 pm
Quote from: dee_licious on 16 October 2012, 10:40:34 pm
i got this charming email this eve on aw

Wud u be up for k9 fun ?

deleted and blocked

i had one of those the other week 'hi, would you be interested in k9 intercourse'

i too immedietly blocked, it may be the same person if not it makes me sick!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 17 October 2012, 09:21:55 am
My mate who is also on AW got this one last night re the k9 service, I told her to reply she has fucked many dogs in her time, all of them human and 2 legged lol

Tosser
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: WelshieGirly on 17 October 2012, 09:57:51 am
Quote from: Kimmy on 16 October 2012, 11:02:04 pm
Quote from: dee_licious on 16 October 2012, 10:40:34 pm
i got this charming email this eve on aw

Wud u be up for k9 fun ?

deleted and blocked

i had one of those the other week 'hi, would you be interested in k9 intercourse'

i too immedietly blocked, it may be the same person if not it makes me sick!  ;D

I always reply quite blunt - If its not on my likes list I don't do it.

Some times I think they just want an abusive email back so I dont give them the satisfaction.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: dee_licious on 17 October 2012, 10:11:26 am
dont know whats going on with them but that was from the third person in a week to ask me that and wouldnt mind the first two were very good regulars who considered fairly normal. god only knows whats wrong with them
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 17 October 2012, 11:03:51 am
We've had a guy ask for K9 fun as well. He has a lot of good feedback so either he doesn't usually bring it up or there are ladies out there who don't mind this!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 17 October 2012, 12:00:58 pm
please excuse my lack of knowledge but what is k9 its not dogs is it ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: WelshieGirly on 17 October 2012, 12:22:07 pm
text today -

Are you game for being restrained while i eat you?

*delete*

i didn't know Hannibal lector was in town! Do guys really think this is the best way to get my attention?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pearl on 17 October 2012, 03:05:08 pm
Quote from: orchidperfume on 17 October 2012, 12:00:58 pm
please excuse my lack of knowledge but what is k9 its not dogs is it ?

it's a section of animal roleplay.  ;)
if you do not know what animal roleplay is, have a look here
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_roleplay
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 17 October 2012, 03:07:20 pm
Quote from: Pearl on 17 October 2012, 03:05:08 pm
Quote from: orchidperfume on 17 October 2012, 12:00:58 pm
please excuse my lack of knowledge but what is k9 its not dogs is it ?

it's a section of animal roleplay.  ;)
if you do not know what animal roleplay is, have a look here
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_roleplay

OH! All the guys (all on cam, thankfully) that have asked for K9 wanted to talk about doing things with dogs, like telling me about how they'd sucked one, or how would I like to be fucked by one...So now I refuse it.

So it could be that some who ask for K9 actually want to pretend to be a dog?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pearl on 17 October 2012, 03:10:29 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 17 October 2012, 03:07:20 pm
So it could be that some who ask for K9 actually want to pretend to be a dog?

yes exactly  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 17 October 2012, 03:11:32 pm
Quote from: Pearl on 17 October 2012, 03:05:08 pm
Quote from: orchidperfume on 17 October 2012, 12:00:58 pm
please excuse my lack of knowledge but what is k9 its not dogs is it ?

it's a section of animal roleplay.  ;)
if you do not know what animal roleplay is, have a look here
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_roleplay

I actually thought it was bestiality rather than roleplay so shows me! I was about to jump on the thread and advise reporting the user!  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 17 October 2012, 03:14:01 pm
Quote from: DianaMurphy on 17 October 2012, 03:11:32 pm
Quote from: Pearl on 17 October 2012, 03:05:08 pm
Quote from: orchidperfume on 17 October 2012, 12:00:58 pm
please excuse my lack of knowledge but what is k9 its not dogs is it ?

it's a section of animal roleplay.  ;)
if you do not know what animal roleplay is, have a look here
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_roleplay

I actually thought it was bestiality rather than roleplay

Me too - all the guys who asked in the past (when they requested "k9?" and I asked what it was) all wanted me to talk about fucking dogs. Actual dogs. So I blanket banned it, but didn't realise I could be missing out on potential roleplay scenerios...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 17 October 2012, 03:17:04 pm
OK, I've just googled "K9 sex" and it turns out it IS bestiality. I'm keeping it banned.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 17 October 2012, 03:19:42 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 17 October 2012, 03:14:01 pm
Quote from: DianaMurphy on 17 October 2012, 03:11:32 pm
Quote from: Pearl on 17 October 2012, 03:05:08 pm
Quote from: orchidperfume on 17 October 2012, 12:00:58 pm
please excuse my lack of knowledge but what is k9 its not dogs is it ?

it's a section of animal roleplay.  ;)
if you do not know what animal roleplay is, have a look here
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_roleplay

I actually thought it was bestiality rather than roleplay

Me too - all the guys who asked in the past (when they requested "k9?" and I asked what it was) all wanted me to talk about fucking dogs. Actual dogs. So I blanket banned it, but didn't realise I could be missing out on potential roleplay scenerios...

Having just Googled I would guess most guys are not asking you for the roleplay scenario I'm afraid! But there may be a few naive guys who mean doing it doggy style or the roleplay way. Personally I would anticipate the worse though!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pearl on 17 October 2012, 04:25:38 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 17 October 2012, 03:17:04 pm
OK, I've just googled "K9 sex" and it turns out it IS bestiality. I'm keeping it banned.

Me too... I thought it was just roleplay..
OMG it is horrible what I have found here :FF
http://www.fetishexchange.org/guide-to-k9sex.shtml
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 17 October 2012, 05:44:10 pm
well you learn something new everyday, feel bit sick after reading that though.
shall be giving k9 a miss  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 17 October 2012, 07:30:50 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 17 October 2012, 03:17:04 pm
OK, I've just googled "K9 sex" and it turns out it IS bestiality. I'm keeping it banned.

Yeah, that's what the guy who messaged us was asking - he said that he could "get hold" of a dog and would we have fun with it.. So yeah actual bestiality not roleplay..  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 17 October 2012, 07:37:24 pm
get his details and report him to rspca thats animal abuse .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 17 October 2012, 08:52:34 pm
Quote from: orchidperfume on 17 October 2012, 07:37:24 pm
get his details and report him to rspca thats animal abuse .

Not sure the RSPCA could do a great deal without more evidence unfortunately but deffo report to AW!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pearl on 18 October 2012, 12:01:35 am
Quote from: DianaMurphy on 17 October 2012, 08:52:34 pm
Not sure the RSPCA could do a great deal without more evidence unfortunately but deffo report to AW!

I think that it could be reported anyway...
I thought that it was just roleplay but I have discovered that it is something disgusting... 
Zero tolerance for these people  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Laetithia on 18 October 2012, 03:28:11 am
Sorry girls I have read the whole K9 thread and found it really disgusting.
I think, if it's true, it's cruelty towards animals and should be punished by law. Does this things really happen or it's just another internet myth? I suspect it could just be a bad taste joke like the "bonsai-cats-in-a-bottle" some years ago...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: anushka on 18 October 2012, 08:23:43 am
I had an email yesterday:

"Excuse me, but are you shaved, trimmed or natural?"
As he couldn't bother to read it in my profile I answer:
"As soon as I read your email I shaved my head and trimmed my pubic hair.
P.S. Rest of the body remains natural"
The idiot's answer:
"I didn't mean for you to go into all that trouble I just wanted a big bush to play with"
Can you believe it, he thought I was being serious  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 18 October 2012, 06:51:25 pm
Hi babe do you remember me
me NO !
Oh do you do 15min bookings ?
Me NO !
Oh can i take you for a drink.?
Me NO if you can't afford to see me how can you afford to take me out !
I dont have time bye !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pearl on 18 October 2012, 06:58:17 pm
Quote from: orchidperfume on 18 October 2012, 06:51:25 pm
Hi babe do you remember me
me NO !
Oh do you do 15min bookings ?
Me NO !
Oh can i take you for a drink.?
Me NO if you can't afford to see me how can you afford to take me out !
I dont have time bye !

It's sad to say but nowadays the boys have this kind of behavior even when they dialogue with regulars girls...
I have know only few guys able to have a good chat with girls... I am not kidding :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyLove on 18 October 2012, 07:06:30 pm
Received this today:

Greetings, I must say I am very glad that my gaze has met your virtual representation.

Im S , 27 year old from Lanarkshire- im a young professional with a stable income seeking a once a month arrangement with a local lady. I am looking for something really regular once per month.

I am actually in a relationship, and although I can afford to pay full fee's I cannot discreetly hide large amounts of money each month. I am looking to pay around ?50 every month for a humiliation session. Again I do not aim to offend at all- but I cannot risk my relationship.I would pay this every month. I enjoy basicaly being dominated and humiliated- I hope you can cater for this.

I can also subsidies my smaller payment by working for you in other ways. I can create websites- and am a keen photographer/videographer. I know you may hear this alot, but i have a lighting kit and a first class photography degree- which I can display on meeting. Again I hope this doesn't offend.

I really hope you may consider this, as your exactly what I am seeking looks wise. Please reply even if it's a no as this email has taken a lot of effort.

Kind regards,

S.

I normally just ignore emails like this, however since he inisted on a reply he got one!

No thanks first this is just a round robin email.

And you don't set my prices I do; you obviously havent read my profile at all.

So why on earth would I want to see a haggler and cheapskate like you when I have plenty of genuine lovely clients happy to pay my prices and shock horror who also read my profile.

You are a complete and utter timewaster
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 18 October 2012, 09:24:52 pm
I had that one as well!!! lol

I told him I would not be taking him up on his very offensive offer!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 20 October 2012, 09:54:29 am
from  user name -  myeyesamaze -on aw this morning
 Hi can i book asap for this morning ?
I sent number to which he replied
 I dont have a phone and cant do a booking on aw                                                                                  I replied it is a requirement of mine that clients have phone and call first.
good start to a sat morning isnt it?!
 blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Adria30 on 20 October 2012, 11:59:16 am
From AW :

"Hey hope your well, I have a cheeky proposition for you. I am sure you will say NO but if you dont ask you dont get, well thats what my Dad always told me Haha.

I was wondering If you fancied coming over to mine tonight If your free, we can chill n have alaugh. We can listen to some music, watch a film with a few drinks. I am very genuine, own house In Basford. I am 33, but look about 25/26. 5ft10 slim athletic sporty build, blue eyes, short blondish spiky messy hair. You might like what you see?

I cant really pay for your time, but will gladly pay for your taxi's. If your not upto much then why not?

Let me know, It be nice to hear from you. Take care x hugs T x"

Why not girls lol Would be shame not to take this offer lol  ;D I found out , that so many men on AW mixing up whit Dating website  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aussie Male Escort on 20 October 2012, 01:22:23 pm
Got this one this morning -

"Hi.1-presume yu HIV STI negative 2-what is time you are at your best.ie when are your testicles most full.hate doing oral on someone who has come more than once daily -3 -any reason you don't kiss especially if person does not have Herpes/HPV /smoke etc .4 Do you shower before massage ? 5what time can I call yu am.Stay hot Paul"

I don't mind being asked any of these questions and they all come up from time to time but having them all in one message, in point form was a bit much..

I am HIV negative, it says so on my profile, I'm at my best at about 11pm after I finish work for the day and put my phone on silent, I don't kiss because I feel no passion or intimacy with clients..

Didn't bother to reply though.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bbwlouise on 23 October 2012, 12:46:02 pm
A client I've got a two hour booking with has just asked my opinion on animals? I asked in
What respect? (I knew exactly where the conversation was going I'm far from naive!) and he said any thoughts, experience, fantasies? Told him I'm personally repulsed by the suggestion!
Obviously he must a thing for it having brought it up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyLove on 25 October 2012, 07:18:05 pm
Just had a phone call - guy phoned up asking for a 3 hour booking, but wanting a cam 'teaser' first.  TW radar goes on, then he says he offers ?1000 for the booking TW radar lights up.  So I say sorry but most offering to pay over and above rates are TWs.

He then says its just this thing, however I ask (playing along), do you want Direct Cam or prebooked he says he wants it on MSN.  TW radar goes OFF the scale.

So obviously looking for a freebie on cam with a promise of a booking.   :FF :FF  I told him he was TW and wish I'd said a lot more.  Why do I always think of the exact right thing to say after the case  :FF

Actually I'd be interested to know if anyone else has been similarly approached.  He was calling from Edinburgh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 25 October 2012, 08:23:25 pm
Quote from: LadyLove on 18 October 2012, 07:06:30 pm
Received this today:

Greetings, I must say I am very glad that my gaze has met your virtual representation.

Im S , 27 year old from Lanarkshire- im a young professional with a stable income seeking a once a month arrangement with a local lady. I am looking for something really regular once per month.

I am actually in a relationship, and although I can afford to pay full fee's I cannot discreetly hide large amounts of money each month. I am looking to pay around ?50 every month for a humiliation session. Again I do not aim to offend at all- but I cannot risk my relationship.I would pay this every month. I enjoy basicaly being dominated and humiliated- I hope you can cater for this.

I can also subsidies my smaller payment by working for you in other ways. I can create websites- and am a keen photographer/videographer. I know you may hear this alot, but i have a lighting kit and a first class photography degree- which I can display on meeting. Again I hope this doesn't offend.

I really hope you may consider this, as your exactly what I am seeking looks wise. Please reply even if it's a no as this email has taken a lot of effort.

Kind regards,

S.

I normally just ignore emails like this, however since he inisted on a reply he got one!

No thanks first this is just a round robin email.

And you don't set my prices I do; you obviously havent read my profile at all.

So why on earth would I want to see a haggler and cheapskate like you when I have plenty of genuine lovely clients happy to pay my prices and shock horror who also read my profile.

You are a complete and utter timewaster

I recieved this the other night lol, my reply "Im running a business not a bloody charity, I mean seriously do you think anyone is going to fall for this",  didnt mention the fact that I only offer outcalls so how was he going to hide my fee plus cost of hotel from his partner each month.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 26 October 2012, 02:45:39 am
I recieved this load of absolute bollocks a couple of days ago......

Hi there,

I hope you don't mind me taking up a minute or two of your time, but I thought this may be of interest to you :)

Do you know all the tricks to keep your profile in front of the clients? eyes? Do you have enough time on a regular basis to put those tricks to use? Well, at Pleasure?s Edge we have over 2 years? experience at finding and arranging bookings for Escorts with most of the girls who employ our services earning way in excess of ?500, some as much as ?1,000 per week and more. If you have been struggling to keep up to date with inbox messages, or if you?re wondering why you haven?t had enough?.then WE CAN HELP!!

For a small fee (taken from your actual bookings ? so if you don?t have any bookings, you don?t have to pay!!) and with no upfront setup / membership fee, you could soon be receiving 2, 3, or even 4 times the bookings (and MONEY) you are now!!

Our ?New Escort Special? gives you the chance to test us out, and see if you?re happy with the job we?re doing for you. (We WILL NOT charge you more than ?100 per week for the first 4 weeks with us, no matter how many bookings you receive)

Sound too good to be true? I thought so until I discovered there are so many ways to actually bring the client to you. I pride myself in the personal service I provide for the Escorts I have worked with and my drive and commitment is second to none. So?.what have you got to lose? Give Pleasure?s Edge a try for a couple of weeks, and if it doesn?t work out for you, then no harm done ? IF IT DOES, then we?re all smiles as the bookings come rolling in!!

You can check out our main profile page here: http://www.adultwork.com/Pleasure%27s+Edge and our group profile at: http://groups.adultwork.com/9409 - As Adultwork are not keen on agency owners contacting Escorts regarding our services, it is very possible this account will be closed down in the near future. If so, you can message back to the main Pleasure?s Edge profile (above) if you?d like more information on what we do.

If you have any questions or queries, please don?t hesitate to contact me on 07547 2835** anytime from 10am until 10pm daily. If you decide you want to know more about our service, please message me back with your e-mail address and I will send further details to you straight away. I hope to hear from you soon, but if not, then I wish you all the best :)

Steve
Pleasure?s Edge

My reply,

You can't be serious? Your email is laughable. I have been in this industry for over two years myself and pride myself on the fact I am completely independent and don't need anyone's help. I earn in excess of what you quote and do extremly well.

Why on earth would I want to pay someone let alone a random guy who on his profile says and I
quote 'Here for the sex...anything else is just a bonus!'
'Horny young guy with an extremely high sex drive waiting for all the ladies out there to join me for some fun!!'

I mean you have got to be fucking kidding me! Who would fall for this? Naive inexperienced working girls and I pray they have more sense than that.

You really are delusional if you think ANYONE is going to pay you ?100 each week just for doing what anyone could easily do themseleves!

Seriously quit wile your ahead mate.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 26 October 2012, 03:00:47 am
Email........

Am interested gimme ur number

Clearly this guy is a caveman but I don't see how he got my email address without my number too which is everywhere??

what am I talking about!! Thank god he didnt!!! lol

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 26 October 2012, 10:18:54 am
Quote from: Friday on 26 October 2012, 03:00:47 am
Email........

Am interested gimme ur number

Clearly this guy is a caveman but I don't see how he got my email address without my number too which is everywhere??

what am I talking about!! Thank god he didnt!!! lol

 :FF

Idiot  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 26 October 2012, 02:56:47 pm
I just had a 2 hour booking cancel 5 mins before the appointment. I got ready, and even spoke to him 30 minutes before to confirm, but the guy called and said he was worried about discretion - what the hell?  ::) Personally, I think he didn't have the cash, but I turned down another appointment to see him. Grrrr  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyLove on 26 October 2012, 06:36:07 pm
After a missed call I text to say 'sorry I just missed a call'

He rings back......

TW:  "Who is this?"

ImpatientEscort "You just this second rang me"

TW "Well I've rung a lot of numbers"

IrritatedEscort "You rang me one minute ago and you can't remember who you were ringing? I think you are just wasting my time.......goodbye"

Obviously one of those who likes to amuse himself by spending his Friday evening ringing down a list of escorts just to annoy them
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 27 October 2012, 12:03:09 am
I once had a booking to a Glasgow hotel for 6pm on a Sunday, wasnt going to take it as trains were off where I live but it was a 2hr booking and needed the money. Did my checks confirmed they were there then got a bus to a town 30min away then train to glasgow (so instead of being an hour one way it was nearer two), 10/15 min from Glasgow Central got a text "Can we make it eight Ive been called to footy training"

They got a rather rude reply.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 27 October 2012, 01:22:07 am
i have it on my auto reply that 

Hi as you can appreciate i get a huge amount of emails from not only genuine clients but also  time waster and idiots,  so if i haven't replied to you within 24 hours you can assume that your email that you have sent me  has  put you into either my time waster or idiot category

Thanks Paris

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 27 October 2012, 06:50:08 am
Quote from: ParisB on 27 October 2012, 01:22:07 am
i have it on my auto reply that 

Hi as you can appreciate i get a huge amount of emails from not only genuine clients but also  time waster and idiots,  so if i haven't replied to you within 24 hours you can assume that your email that you have sent me  has  put you into either my time waster or idiot category

Thanks Paris
Brilliant response. Funny how the longer I work, the blunter I get. I may just have to steal this one for my templates as well.  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 27 October 2012, 07:51:27 am
i just cant be assed   idiots emailing are you free, or those very detailed  love letters  i mean why the fuck don't they just ring .... it says clearly on my profile please ring for an appointment   


Quote from: VioletteUK on 27 October 2012, 06:50:08 am
Quote from: ParisB on 27 October 2012, 01:22:07 am
i have it on my auto reply that 

Hi as you can appreciate i get a huge amount of emails from not only genuine clients but also  time waster and idiots,  so if i haven't replied to you within 24 hours you can assume that your email that you have sent me  has  put you into either my time waster or idiot category

Thanks Paris
Brilliant response. Funny how the longer I work, the blunter I get. I may just have to steal this one for my templates as well.  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 27 October 2012, 02:27:13 pm
Got following text after 7am

Hiya I would like to know if your free this morning at 9 or 10 am? I would like to do anal on you. You to dominate me. I have foot fetish for nice soft feet. So make me lick & suck them. No hard skin. I'd like to lick your ass & pussy. Taste you. Use sex toys on you while doing your ass. While dressed like a secretary.

I'm a dom ::) All he could get this morning was rough skin,as I was just before an appointment for pedicure ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 27 October 2012, 03:49:12 pm
One of my regulars texted me this morning.

"let me know when you are free for a bit of dirty sexy talk mmmmmmm"

I responded with "I am sorry but am not available for Direct Chat today :(" Have not heard back from him. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 27 October 2012, 05:15:40 pm
Text received today: "What are you into hun?"

My reply: "Girls, you?"  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 29 October 2012, 08:31:47 am
Got a text on my personal phone from an unsaved number

Him: How come whenever I drive through *My Town* I get a massive boner?

Me: Who is this?

Him: *Very common male first name* :'(

Me: I'm sorry I know a few guys with that name and I don't have you saved on my phone

He then texts a very explicit list of all the naughties we've done together and I twig he was a really good reg who I haven't seen in at least 6 months when he sent me a text at 3am explaining he had fallen for me but as I was clearly just after his money (lol!) he would have to stop seeing me (FFS how was this not evident when I advertise as a prostitute???) 

Anyway, I reply explaining that if I don't here from someone I will always delete their number for reasons of discretion and would he like to make an appointment?

No reply...

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 29 October 2012, 02:41:42 pm
Brilliant one this morning. An 'adult film producer' from Prague called me this morning (from an english landline ::) ) and said he'd be in London later and would like to meet me. He asked what services I offered, and I politely turned his attention back to my profile. I don't discuss services over the phone. Anyway, he started calling me 'unprofessional' because I wouldn't tell him what services I offer  :FF Eegit!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 29 October 2012, 02:47:29 pm
'Hi sweetheart, How u doing? I got your number from the website of adult work'

'As it says very clearly on my profile you have to call to discuss/book appointments. Regards, Kylie'

'Ok, do u speak Arabic?'

Ermmm wtf?! Lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Green Carnation on 29 October 2012, 04:14:49 pm
Guy:
- if i want 5 blowjobs in 1 hr, can i?

From then on saved as '5 blowjobs'.

A couple of days later, text from '5 blowjobs': - u working today?

Me: 'no sorry, i am not available for an incall today' (for you)

5 blwjobs: book a hotel then and give me yr room #

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Little_Miss_Misanthropy on 29 October 2012, 06:47:37 pm
Him: 'Hi Niamh, I'm getting married next week and I want to meet up with you for one last naughty blow job before I commit <self depricating laugh that sounded more congratulory than anything else>

Me (world-weary): Ok-ayyy...

Him: 'I want a really sloppy, messy, blow job for an hour. Lots of deepthroat and gagging, just really sloppy...something fun before I get married'.

Me (day 2 of tour, and very tired): Look I don't think I can do it, sorry.

Him (outraged): Is it because I'm getting married?!Are you judging me?!

Me: Urgh no, I just couldn't be bothered sucking you off for an hour...sorry.

>>click<<

Annoying men about to get married are just urgh. And yes, I'm judging.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: WelshieGirly on 30 October 2012, 09:03:03 am
I love the - please dont delete, please dont delete!

From: Deluded Idiot.

Please dont delete this yet!! Im sure you get a million of these but hear goes im a male escort in the area and was hoping you would agree to meet up for a chat to discuss the possibility of working together if you ever got asked for a male to accompany you?I also provide photography service free of charge too in order to help with your gallery .
If you havnt deleted me already id love to hear from you either on here or you can txt me on 07411233*** i gave you my number to show you im totally genuine.
Hope to hear from you soon .
Deluded Idiot x

PS you look very sexy and stunning in your photos

*Delete*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sadie x on 30 October 2012, 09:11:36 am
Im sick of getting these my self!!
why do they think by offering pictures we are going to jump all over them..
wow! great offer  gggrrrr
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kitty_of_Herts on 30 October 2012, 09:12:13 am
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 29 October 2012, 02:41:42 pm
Brilliant one this morning. An 'adult film producer' from Prague called me this morning (from an english landline ::) ) and said he'd be in London later and would like to meet me. He asked what services I offered, and I politely turned his attention back to my profile. I don't discuss services over the phone. Anyway, he started calling me 'unprofessional' because I wouldn't tell him what services I offer  :FF Eegit!

Me and my duo partner got this one! He started telling me that he wanted to book us both overnight for 5 grand, so I told him to stop talking bollocks and hung up *cackles*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ana30 on 30 October 2012, 09:25:09 am
Quote
i gave you my number to show you im totally genuine.

Why don't you call him to make sure he's genuine? Lol!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 30 October 2012, 09:45:23 am
Email conversation, requesting outcall to somewhere 45 mins drive away into the countryside at night. Turns out preferred time 1am but won't give landline or name at the address "Too risky". Hmmm.

Also had a couple of "Hi when are you available" texts answered one of the latter(only because I recognised him as someone who had emailed previously and has been given my website address) for him then to specify a particular day and time next week, said he was experienced for his young age having booked someone before so knew the score, offering me ?20 for 20 minutes would I see him. ::) ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 30 October 2012, 04:54:50 pm
i offer tie and tease and for the past few days this dickhead has been emailing me and just irritating me. 

So this morning I got this little gem from him...

"could you please tell me what exactly goes on in tie and tease as I would like to book you for it"

i replied with...

You are tied and i tease you, what else would you like to know?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kinkygirl26 on 30 October 2012, 05:30:33 pm
Quote from: sarahyorks on 10 October 2012, 11:09:08 pm
Just seen this reverse booking:

Please read carefully before bidding. I am seeking unprotected services, if you do not offer such services please do not bid (or waste your time and mine by commenting).

Price indicated includes any travel fee and I am happy to book rail or air in advance for you if you have 10 or more positive feedback in the last 6 months for escorting.

I am seeking a slim woman, max size 12 and preferrably busty, who is prepared to offer the following services.

* all unprotected porn star experience
* anal
* you will be submissive for some mild rough play
* travel to me dressed in fetish wear (latex, leather with extreme high heels etc)
* unlimited photography for personal use (although not more than 10 or so pics, probably)

You should be a fluent English speaker and your bid should include an acceptance of all the criteria. Empty bids are likely to be ignored.

Note, date is flexible. I can do 15th, 16th, 17th or 18th.

All this can be yours for ?1000 ladies

I had this guy try to book me for a similar booking.....DELETE!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyLove on 30 October 2012, 05:34:22 pm
Ha if I got this and was feeling evil I would send him 10 empty bids!!! And who the fuck does he think he is telling you not to comment on his irresponsible requests.  I would send 10 comments too  >:(

Hes sure asking for it  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 30 October 2012, 07:58:20 pm
Quote from: LadyLove on 30 October 2012, 05:34:22 pm
Ha if I got this and was feeling evil I would send him 10 empty bids!!! And who the fuck does he think he is telling you not to comment on his irresponsible requests.  I would send 10 comments too  >:(

Hes sure asking for it  ::)

He does say it would be a waste of your time commenting, obviously he's saying it's what he wants full stop - which is fair enough on what is essentially an auction.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyLove on 30 October 2012, 08:10:59 pm
Quote from: Strawberry on 30 October 2012, 07:58:20 pm
Quote from: LadyLove on 30 October 2012, 05:34:22 pm
Ha if I got this and was feeling evil I would send him 10 empty bids!!! And who the fuck does he think he is telling you not to comment on his irresponsible requests.  I would send 10 comments too  >:(

Hes sure asking for it  ::)

He does say it would be a waste of your time commenting, obviously he's saying it's what he wants full stop - which is fair enough on what is essentially an auction.

Well it follows that telling people NOT to do something simply invites people to do so.  That was my point (admittedly I was in a vile mood at the time I posted but hey if you can't vent on here occaisionally where can you)

I'm afraid I have zero tolerance for people like this.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimmy on 30 October 2012, 10:40:50 pm
Quote from: LadyLove on 30 October 2012, 08:10:59 pm
Quote from: Strawberry on 30 October 2012, 07:58:20 pm
Quote from: LadyLove on 30 October 2012, 05:34:22 pm
Ha if I got this and was feeling evil I would send him 10 empty bids!!! And who the fuck does he think he is telling you not to comment on his irresponsible requests.  I would send 10 comments too  >:(

Hes sure asking for it  ::)

He does say it would be a waste of your time commenting, obviously he's saying it's what he wants full stop - which is fair enough on what is essentially an auction.

Well it follows that telling people NOT to do something simply invites people to do so.  That was my point (admittedly I was in a vile mood at the time I posted but hey if you can't vent on here occaisionally where can you)

I'm afraid I have zero tolerance for people like this.

I have to agree, and also add any WG must be desperate to genuinely bid on that auction- who in their right mind is going to travel anywhere dressed in full fetish gear  ???

Not to mention he sounds like an arrogant twat with no respect for either his own health or any WG on the planet, definately one to avoid
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 31 October 2012, 08:46:42 am
This just in:
Ola how much for a suckie sucky an how much for jiggy jiggy.

I am still laughing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 31 October 2012, 12:04:25 pm
Quote from: VioletteUK on 31 October 2012, 08:46:42 am
This just in:
Ola how much for a suckie sucky an how much for jiggy jiggy.

I am still laughing.


This made my morning!

Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 31 October 2012, 12:05:36 pm
Just got this by text:

"Hi can u send me *name of other local WG*"

...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 31 October 2012, 05:30:16 pm
I give them the  phone number and address for the local police station on the uxbridge road !!! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyLove on 01 November 2012, 08:52:18 am
Received this email on AW, does anyone else aside from me think this guy has a screw loose?

i have been with a few porn stars and filmed many
you do look fine
have you ever howeve rsuffered from piles?

Err wtf ??? ::) :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 01 November 2012, 02:29:46 pm
Quote from: LadyLove on 01 November 2012, 08:52:18 am
Received this email on AW, does anyone else aside from me think this guy has a screw loose?

i have been with a few porn stars and filmed many
you do look fine
have you ever howeve rsuffered from piles?

Err wtf ??? ::) :FF

Huh! rofl sorry but i would respond "no but reading this email seems to bringing them on" lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 01 November 2012, 08:23:46 pm
Can we have sex outside your house

Me: No and anyway it's too cold.

No - I meant in a cinema.



??????????????
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Green Carnation on 01 November 2012, 08:29:49 pm
Just got an email from a guy on aw 'are you available for an outcall tonight', just looked at his profile, and he is accessing from Greece.  ??? Am I in for an overseas voyage tonight?

*********
I am seriously thinking of reporting him, as he has just sent me another email with 'his hotel' details in Battersea.... If I didn't click on 'show profile' I might have gone to a fake outcall...

He can't be in London, if his aw profile says 'accessing from Greece', can he? he wouldn't be able to send emails if he wasn't logged in....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 01 November 2012, 09:05:51 pm
Had a text this afternoon from a guy looking for a long term arrangement, after two texts worked out it was a long term relationship he was wanting, told him he was looking in wrong place as AW isnt a dating site. His reply " I know my mate owns it" funnily though when I asked what his friends name was and where they were from he replied " Sorry I cant divulge that" .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xbbwkimx on 01 November 2012, 10:09:50 pm
iv just got this on aw! he offered me 1k... :FF

Subject:    hardsports

Hi, I'm John. I'm looking to do full 2 way hardsports. This is where you shit on me and i shit on you, this can be over the body,but it would preferably be in the mouth, we would chew and cover bodies in it while having sex. I realise that this is extreme and many people are put off before they even look into it. However, If you are willing to try, or simply a little curious and maybe want to see some clips of it, then please email me here or add me to msn on john.f********@hotmail.co.uk. Hope to hear from you soon.
 


Email address edited.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 01 November 2012, 10:21:59 pm
Quote from: Green Carnation on 01 November 2012, 08:29:49 pm


He can't be in London, if his aw profile says 'accessing from Greece', can he? he wouldn't be able to send emails if he wasn't logged in....

Doubtful. PM on way anyway.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xbbwkimx on 02 November 2012, 01:00:48 pm
i have just logged onto aw.. in half an hour iv had 3 emails, two very strange:

first one

Subject:    escort

wow love the pics hun remmeber meeting you for a date once

i doubt it hun, been with my hubs since i was 16.

2nd:
bject:    Gangbang

Hi

I am 1 of 3 guys that get together for gangbang sex. we are 35, 42 &50. We are used to each other (not Bi) and like to play with a single female.
We like a couple of hours as we like to play 1 on 1 as well as 2-3 of us using you. If you want to experience a spit roast with 2 of us DP'ing you, we can do that. We can either cum in you or over you.
We prefer bareback and have up to date (and regular) test certs.

Whats the fee and a possible date(s)

i replied:

hello danny.

sadly i do not offer bareback. I hope you find the girl for you soon.

take care x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 02 November 2012, 01:54:15 pm
caller - Hi please will you see me im 17yrs old i love youre pictures.
me   - Im sorry youre too young
caller- Im in wiltshire !!
Me - my darling youre too far away im and anyway Im in west London 
caller- I can get there
me - how ( im amused and curious as to how!)
caller I dont know !!!
call ended, he sounded so sweet  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wonderlass on 02 November 2012, 05:49:09 pm
"now a little bit about me i am 25 from London and i am new to all of this but this is something iv decided that i want to do .
i am looking for something that's not your regular practice .
what i would be interested in is i would like for me and my work colleague to visit you and we would like you to dance for us whilst stripping and then for you to pleasure your self with toys or your hands whilst we watched you .
that is all we would be wanting so we would not be interested in any sexual acts upon our selves we would just like to watch you"

So new to all of this that he has two profiles, the above having been only set up yesterday, and has already sent 125 emails from it...
His other is about 6 months old and 1982 emails sent. Zero bookings ever made. I accidentally pressed "spam" underneath the message. Oops.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 03 November 2012, 10:19:25 pm
Him - are you free this weekend
Me- ooh i dont know what does my profile say
Him-your schedule is from monday
Me- well then i guess I am not free.
Him- sorry should have read your profile
Me- i guess so!

Act like an idiot and I will treat you like one.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 03 November 2012, 11:30:38 pm
Quote from: DMD on 03 November 2012, 10:19:25 pm
Him - are you free this weekend
Me- ooh i dont know what does my profile say
Him-your schedule is from monday
Me- well then i guess I am not free.
Him- sorry should have read your profile
Me- i guess so!

Act like an idiot and I will treat you like one.

I usually get the "Im not at computer", "My computers just crashed" or "I cant remember which site I saw you" when this happens
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BevOsteen on 03 November 2012, 11:39:26 pm
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 03 November 2012, 11:30:38 pm
Quote from: DMD on 03 November 2012, 10:19:25 pm
Him - are you free this weekend
Me- ooh i dont know what does my profile say
Him-your schedule is from monday
Me- well then i guess I am not free.
Him- sorry should have read your profile
Me- i guess so!

Act like an idiot and I will treat you like one.

I usually get the "Im not at computer", "My computers just crashed" or "I cant remember which site I saw you" when this happens

True I always get the same  "I'm not at computer, shit, hate it :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 04 November 2012, 04:24:34 pm
email  on aw today from a timewasters who is blocked on my phone.
TW  *urgent*  ::)  ive tried to get hold of you on mobile but its not working,(yes thats because youre blocked )
 TW I would like to see you asap
 me - no you wont be as you didnt turn up the last f**king time .
but hey now i have youre adultwork user name so i can block youre messages/bookings on there too ha ha!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 04 November 2012, 04:47:43 pm
Or you get the my friend refered me grrrr.

But a while back a lady made a fabulous suggestion of getting clients to repeat the address back to you, it is funny how quickly the line tends to go dead  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 04 November 2012, 05:01:16 pm
Quote from: DMD on 04 November 2012, 04:47:43 pm
Or you get the my friend refered me grrrr.

But a while back a lady made a fabulous suggestion of getting clients to repeat the address back to you, it is funny how quickly the line tends to go dead  ;D
I REALLY HATE this too and always refer them back to my profile.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 04 November 2012, 05:37:35 pm
Quote from: DMD on 04 November 2012, 04:47:43 pm

But a while back a lady made a fabulous suggestion of getting clients to repeat the address back to you, it is funny how quickly the line tends to go dead  ;D


I gave out a number to a caller a few weeks back thinking he was just pretending to take it down, then I asked him to read it back .............. and he did PERFECTLY, so it seems some guys do take down what we say.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyLove on 04 November 2012, 05:40:03 pm
I have had so many (blocked) calls from witheld numbers on this tour too.  Do guys think we are really so stupid as to accept appointments on that basis?  All over my profile I say I don't accept calls from private numbers, as well as on my voicemail!

And the guys who continually ask 'Are you on your own' in various ways, give me the chills.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 05 November 2012, 09:33:37 am
Quote from: MissKylie on 04 November 2012, 05:01:16 pm
Quote from: DMD on 04 November 2012, 04:47:43 pm
Or you get the my friend refered me grrrr.

But a while back a lady made a fabulous suggestion of getting clients to repeat the address back to you, it is funny how quickly the line tends to go dead  ;D
I REALLY HATE this too and always refer them back to my profile.

and then they say can i have some details.  I usually respond with well if your friend referred you then you should know all you need to about me and hang up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 06 November 2012, 10:51:20 pm
Texts from today

Idiot: Are you available today?
Friday: yes
Idiot: After 6pm ok?
Friday: yes where?
Idiot: Glasgow westend
Friday That's fine, need name and full address to confirm
Idiot: Is hotel ok
Friday: hotel is fine i'll need hotel name and room number
Idiot: ok will text details of room when ive booked

Idiot (several hours later): looked at your site and would like to book you for 1 hour tonight if possible?
Friday: where?
Idiot: Glasgow westend
Friday: earlier you said it was a hotel?
Idiot: didnt finish work till late so couldn't get one booked, if you want a hotel I can book one tomorrow
Friday: If you want an outcall you have to tell me location. You want to see me tonight (current time 10:45pm) but you're being a bit vague on details..
Idiot: kl will find someone who doesnt ask all sorts of questions

WTf!  :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 06 November 2012, 11:33:08 pm
Quote from: Friday on 06 November 2012, 10:51:20 pm
Texts from today

Idiot: Are you available today?
Friday: yes
Idiot: After 6pm ok?
Friday: yes where?
Idiot: Glasgow westend
Friday That's fine, need name and full address to confirm
Idiot: Is hotel ok
Friday: hotel is fine i'll need hotel name and room number
Idiot: ok will text details of room when ive booked

Idiot (several hours later): looked at your site and would like to book you for 1 hour tonight if possible?
Friday: where?
Idiot: Glasgow westend
Friday: earlier you said it was a hotel?
Idiot: didnt finish work till late so couldn't get one booked, if you want a hotel I can book one tomorrow
Friday: If you want an outcall you have to tell me location. You want to see me tonight (current time 10:45pm) but you're being a bit vague on details..
Idiot: kl will find someone who doesnt ask all sorts of questions

WTf!  :FF :FF :FF

You mean your not psychic lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimmy on 06 November 2012, 11:43:46 pm
Call tonight from someone with a really dull, monotone voice that sounded like he was out of his head on valium

Moron: Are you working now
Me: No, Friday next
Moron: Do you do oral without
Me: Yes, all services are on my profile
Moron: how much is it
Me: Check my profile
Moron: I'm not on the computer, I cant see it
Me: How long would you like?
Moron: Erm....half an hour...maybe 45 minutes...could maybe extend to a few hours
Me: when you decide how long you would like call me back and I'll give you a price, thanks
Moron: What about that webcam thing
Me (getting irate at this point!): What about it!?
Moron: Do you have to pay for it?
Me: Yes, its pay per minute
Moron: well thats fuckin shit isnt it, hardly worth it cant you go on msn for free
 
*hangs up* Wtf is wrong with these docile idiots? I hate talking to guys like this! I was trying to be polite but I had no intention of giving him a booking and was going to, and have, blacklisted his number  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: WelshieGirly on 07 November 2012, 09:42:25 am
Reverse booking in durham -

Offering ?50 for half an hour.

looking for an incall or car meet/dogging want you waring sexy killer heels, like oral both ways, sex and also anal a bonus and will take me bareback for the full duration of the meet.


Funnily enough no ones bid.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: WelshieGirly on 07 November 2012, 01:13:24 pm
Idiots just keep coming today.


Hiya

I?m enquiring whether you would consider an outcall trip to Swindon for dinner and GFE fun at a hotel for around 3 or 4 hours or more from around 6p?

It may be out of of your..sorry. Is that something you would consider?

Thank You

 ??? I am based in Newcastle Upon Tyne!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsummer on 07 November 2012, 04:51:55 pm
Message on AW yesterday   ::)

Like to cu.80.00pounds 1 hrs inc.
A Must I would like you in stockings and sudpenders.high heels with tight dress or skirt.
Owo,cim,swallow if possible if not no problem.lots of dirty talk.pse experience.
Can u accommodate this.looking regular place.
A must the above
Do u look like the picture if not I leave
Thanks
Sabs
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 07 November 2012, 04:58:09 pm
Quote from: Adriana on 07 November 2012, 04:51:55 pm
Message on AW yesterday   ::)

Like to cu.80.00pounds 1 hrs inc.
A Must I would like you in stockings and sudpenders.high heels with tight dress or skirt.
Owo,cim,swallow if possible if not no problem.lots of dirty talk.pse experience.
Can u accommodate this.looking regular place.
A must the above
Do u look like the picture if not I leave
Thanks
Sabs

I feel like screaming when I open the inbox only to find this kind of crap. And on some days it's all I get as well!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsummer on 07 November 2012, 05:07:18 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 07 November 2012, 04:58:09 pm

I feel like screaming when I open the inbox only to find this kind of crap. And on some days it's all I get as well!

I know, I just ignore messages like this, luckily I don't get many TWs. but he's got some nerve asking for a discount, has list of demands, and he's got the nerve to threathen to leave if I don't look like my pictures.  :FF

They can't seriosly expect you to throw your fancy knickers on and respond  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissPoshBex on 07 November 2012, 05:11:38 pm
Quote from: wonderlass on 02 November 2012, 05:49:09 pm
"now a little bit about me i am 25 from London and i am new to all of this but this is something iv decided that i want to do .
i am looking for something that's not your regular practice .
what i would be interested in is i would like for me and my work colleague to visit you and we would like you to dance for us whilst stripping and then for you to pleasure your self with toys or your hands whilst we watched you .
that is all we would be wanting so we would not be interested in any sexual acts upon our selves we would just like to watch you"

So new to all of this that he has two profiles, the above having been only set up yesterday, and has already sent 125 emails from it...
His other is about 6 months old and 1982 emails sent. Zero bookings ever made. I accidentally pressed "spam" underneath the message. Oops.

I've had this email too! Xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 07 November 2012, 08:16:49 pm
I had one today on twitter

Him: Whats your rates am desperate for fun with you.
Me: I do not discuss business on twitter pls follow link on my bio.

Then a few hours later

H: Thanks for that so tell me what do you like in the bedroom
M: Sorry am not available for direct chat right now but you can contact me via AW when i am
H: Look I have 3000 to spend on you for a night to fuck.
M: Try your bullshit on someone else
H: It is not bullshit I really want to spend 3000 on you

I think he is still waiting for an answer.

The sad part is there are actually girls out there who will fall for this bullshit
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: miss_jen on 08 November 2012, 02:05:24 pm
i once had a guy who kept texting me he said he expected me to converse with him via texts so it shows im putting my money where my mouth is to say im worth meeting and apparently does this with all the girls haha.. hmm needless to say, after the first 2 texts, i gathered he was a timewaster and his texts went unanswered

for hours later rambled about how he" buys expensive gifts for his girls"  still ignoring him he then felt it necessary to say " im sure the police would be interested to know there is an escort operating from your address "

laughing to myself i then got a text to say " i bet your Lisa Donnelly pal" HAHA what??!? you couldnt be more wrong.. its just funny how men take the hump when they dont get their own way.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mi on 08 November 2012, 08:50:20 pm
I got this gem today 'u like to b crszy? me u in a public toilet ;) i pay yu'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kacey89 on 08 November 2012, 08:54:00 pm
I've just had one

Him: Hi, are you available on wednesday? I would like a treat as it's my birthday

Me: Hi, yes i am available on wednesday what time? Incall or outcall?

Him: Incall. As it's my birthday could i get a 35% discount?

Me: Sorry i don't offer discounts

Him: Your a horrible b!t@h

I didn't even bother responding, honestly where do they come from ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyLove on 08 November 2012, 09:04:59 pm
Good grief has anyone has this one:

Hello,

Firstly, I think you are the sexiest woman on earth and would love to meet you.

I have a really odd fetish that involves the use of suction from a hoover on your body and mine. I would like to stress that this does not involve pain in any way nor does it leave any marks. I am not into domination and certainly would not like to be beaten and called Helen!

The suction itself is quite amazing but has the added benefit of vibration caused by airflow for which I can guarantee the most incredible orgasm(s). Please see the link to give you an idea of what this is about:

[removed]

I would love to hear your thoughts on this other than 'you sick bastard'. I can promise you will never look at hoovering the same way again! Is there any way I could convince you to try this?

Kind Regards,

G***


Needless to say he had TW notes saying the same email had been doing the rounds.

And guess what, I won't be trying it  ::)


{Self Edit} Sorry forgot to take the link out!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 08 November 2012, 10:13:52 pm
Oooh you just dont know what your are missing once you go Dyson you never go Jimmy again!  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 09 November 2012, 06:45:17 am
I haven't had the hoover thing via email, but I've had it mentioned by a guy on webcam before... along the lines of inserting it somewhere.... :/
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Little_Miss_Misanthropy on 09 November 2012, 03:10:27 pm
Quote from: LadyLove on 08 November 2012, 09:04:59 pm
Good grief has anyone has this one:

Hello,

Firstly, I think you are the sexiest woman on earth and would love to meet you.

I have a really odd fetish that involves the use of suction from a hoover on your body and mine. I would like to stress that this does not involve pain in any way nor does it leave any marks. I am not into domination and certainly would not like to be beaten and called Helen!

The suction itself is quite amazing but has the added benefit of vibration caused by airflow for which I can guarantee the most incredible orgasm(s). Please see the link to give you an idea of what this is about:

[removed]

I would love to hear your thoughts on this other than 'you sick bastard'. I can promise you will never look at hoovering the same way again! Is there any way I could convince you to try this?

Kind Regards,

G***


Needless to say he had TW notes saying the same email had been doing the rounds.

And guess what, I won't be trying it  ::)



LadyLove I met him...he was my first booking on AW ever. He's changed his profile name etc since then and has tried to book and then never followed up, but on the first booking he was really lovely. He doesn't want you to stick a hoover up yourself though, just hoover his bits'n'bobs  :D PM me if you want any info, where are you located?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyLove on 09 November 2012, 03:27:29 pm
No thanks not my cup of tea  ;D

Besides which I have no interest in someone who sends exactly the same email to zillions of girls, which his TW notes indicates.  If someone can't be bothered to pen a few individual lines, they don't get to see me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimmy on 10 November 2012, 11:51:09 pm
Quote from: Little Miss Misanthropy on 15 September 2012, 02:34:34 pm
Seriously, some of the Reverse Bookings on AW are just a joke, read one today from a guy who wants you to meet him in a see through top with no bra (!) and a tiny skirt with no knickers. Then he wants to take you for a drink in this clobber (public humiliation, pass - I die a bit inside when they want to take me for dinner, I think everyone must know and find it cringey) and afterwards onto a romantic dogging session where you can do all the guys you want (gee whizz, lucky for you) in a field - all for the princely sum of ?300.

He makes it sound like you're winning the lotto if he picks you...

just saw this one on my local AW RB-

a 1 hour bareback encounter for ?100

Hi
would like some out door play with a sexy lady in Sherwood Park. U must wear stockings and boots only with coat. 2 girls for 150 bb only dont respond if dont want randy bb sex, as him down ther hates condom

So he wants BB, in a park with you wearing only stockings and boots under a coat, in the middle of winter, and good god how can one be so generous, is offering an extra ?50 if you bring a friend!


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 11 November 2012, 12:30:33 am
Subject: Hey Angel x
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry I know you don?t know me, but I stumbled across your Adultwork
profile page, and I honestly believe you?re the prettiest woman I?ve ever
come across, hand on heart your simply beautiful, (I know it all sounds
cheesy, but I can?t help but speak the truth) and so I couldn?t miss the
opportunity of introducing myself, so when you get the chance and time
please reply so we can sort out a meeting, until then take care and stay
pretty x


Not sure how he thinks I'm the prettiest woman he's ever seen seeing as I don't show my face! LOL
This one must be doing the rounds?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 11 November 2012, 01:21:47 am
Quote from: Coty on 11 November 2012, 12:30:33 am
Subject: Hey Angel x
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry I know you don?t know me, but I stumbled across your Adultwork
profile page, and I honestly believe you?re the prettiest woman I?ve ever
come across, hand on heart your simply beautiful, (I know it all sounds
cheesy, but I can?t help but speak the truth) and so I couldn?t miss the
opportunity of introducing myself, so when you get the chance and time
please reply so we can sort out a meeting, until then take care and stay
pretty x


Not sure how he thinks I'm the prettiest woman he's ever seen seeing as I don't show my face! LOL
This one must be doing the rounds?

YES! Received it tonight too, obviously a chancer/TW.

I did reply to say to let me know when/where he wanted a booking for. No doubt this will come to nothing!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyLove on 11 November 2012, 08:52:59 am
Woke up to this text this morning:

Can you meet at premier inn charging cross ASAP? You pay the room?  I pay for 2hr service?

Firstly note the spelling mistake he obviously meant 'charing' cross.  Secondly I'm not even in that area any more.  Thirdly what a fucking cheek!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luvmylips on 11 November 2012, 10:40:44 am
Got to hand it to the guys they do give us a laugh! I've taken out his address and mobile contact. Decided to use ozadz as a new advertising service and got this gem: 



Skip to bottom line if you don't have patience to read all bullshit (honestly IS NOT, only TRUTH)

"Looking for slim-average, not too tall, 25-40 yrs, hot date for dinner with NSA sex (if compatible, could be much-much more)for Friday and/or Saturday night.
Race is not very important, however if you have ebony complexion, you push me over the moon from the beginning (so I prefer african girls; me crossbreed of Eastern European origins).
Chat, dinner(nice pub), drink, fun and SEX is all what I offer. Doing my best to be the best quality (mostly the sex as I didn't had since ... ages, lol).
I'm not a kinky perv but following diner I will invite you in my shop (close neighbourhood, 5 minutes away)for sex. SEx. Then SEX :))) (well, some drinks in between maybe). Albeit SINGLE (as well since ages), I FEEL BETTER THERE (where I'm spending most of my time).
Now, sexually speaking, what I expect from you is first of all, not to be in a big rush. Take your time (mine too).
Nice chat, slow dinner, long drinks. Then longer foreplay (mutual). I'm very into french kiss, b2b Long Play, mutual oral sex, then normal (PROTECTED) and anal if you like. In ANY possible position/style and combination. NOT IN A RUSH...
Would you like to have a picture of me licking your ***? Fine. Free to do it. Or more...
If you are only for an one night stand, is roughly what I can offer. Plus the "surprize" during dinner ;)
If you feel some compatibility or attraction(mutual I hope), you like the way we spent the night(and the way I pleased you) and you want to extend it for next day(s) or week(s) then well, I am willing to "reward" or "support" you, soon (even on regular basis), with commonly agreed amounts, surprise presents (ie laptop, small LCD TV set, Hi Fi, jewelry,etc). I know is very unlikely but ...
Opened even for more. Much more.
Me, 47professional (IT & Electronics), single, clean, healthy, close to "hypersexual",smoker, romantic, polite(almost shy), however Leo so slightly dominant(consequently expected sub behaviour from your part), 5ft 7"/65 kg/blonde-blue eyed. Only one thing to note; that I am utterly ... ugly. Well, quite opposite to "prince charming" or "Mr.Macho" (usually required and expected ....
And concerning u, I don't care how ... "ugly" u are (in "social-esthetical" terms, coz no one is really ugly or take it like this: everyone has his own beauty) as long as you have a great body and even greater appetite for sex (lol). I am kind of blind for "beauty". Lovely but not lasting ... U can preserve your inner beauty forever and ur body for long time ... That's what really matters.
The attached pictures are not ment to offend and they are not of exhibitionist nature. Simply gives u, like in IT, a WYSYWYG (What You See is What You Get) ideea :)))
Call me ASAP (txt me first a msg containing DINNER DATE so I will pick up the phone when you call after; I am avoiding to answer to unknown numbers usually)if you think this offer fits you. Or attracts you in any way. Or at least mail me back with your pictures attached and contact details (phone number and location/post code) in the early afternoon. I AM VERY DETERMINED TO HAVE A DINNER+ PARTNER TONIGHT ...
Ernest
You have to type O seven  ********************* 4 between two ones. Got it? ( it is on "3 Hutchinson" network)
E10  London

WELL, THIS IS MY ADD ...
Few remarks.
ONE: I do not have any idea if your picture is genuine and you are real or not but doing a simple calculation, 31 x £300= £9300 it is far to be available (yet)to "sponsor/pay" a girl ...
TWO: ... because I still have in mind a PERMANENT and MUTUALLY profitable relationship ...
THREE: ... so why not, accept a ... dinner and putting minds and ideas together, see if we could do more money together then we do alone (maybe less, maybe more then targeted £9300 :)))
FOUR: It is an ONE TIME CHANCE, ONE NIGHT STAND (but against the above stated) my offer is:
1. Dinner+
2. £100 cash (it is not about if I could afford more or even  if you don't deserve more, just a matter of principles, lol
3. One NICE laptop one (as well) NICE Hi Fi system (value close to £500 together)
4. ... and last ...If I will have Your promise that it won't be "for just one night only -" for your own INTEREST. If you can understand, sometimes, instead of providing someone with fish, is far better to teach him(her) fishing ...
Well, as conclusion, I am ugly maybe, but could be useful ...
Take care
God Bless You

---------------------------------------
Email: hbeitxpert@

If you like OzAdz, please recommend it to friends
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 11 November 2012, 10:54:08 am
No introduction just straight in with..

Creep: Can I tie you up and bound and gag you. Also blindfold you??

Yes because I have sh*t for brains what next get beaten to a pulp or robbed?  ::)




Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: dee_licious on 12 November 2012, 10:59:59 am
just recieved this on aw

Hi dee, would you be interested for some extra cash, I'm currently recruiting some models to work abroad for me. If you would like more info please get back to me.

po***214@hotmail.co.uk

di***rah@yahoo.co.uk

Thank you and take care

typical cock pic all over profile  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RoxyBlu on 12 November 2012, 02:15:59 pm
Anyone had this idiot today?  :FF


Hello Miss im sarah and wanted to ask if i can give you a video of my x bf doing his ass with own cock and real name to post on your videos or just pass around? ps also got name , adderss and number to go with video! doing this to pay him back for cheating on me and hitting me but need a hand to expose the prick pretty please as id love your help so so so much! Thanks sarah x

DELETE!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 12 November 2012, 02:32:37 pm
Quote from: RoxyBlu on 12 November 2012, 02:15:59 pm
Anyone had this idiot today?  :FF


Hello Miss im sarah and wanted to ask if i can give you a video of my x bf doing his ass with own cock and real name to post on your videos or just pass around? ps also got name , adderss and number to go with video! doing this to pay him back for cheating on me and hitting me but need a hand to expose the prick pretty please as id love your help so so so much! Thanks sarah x

DELETE!!!

Might be the same 'Sarah' that was texting girls a while ago!

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RoxyBlu on 12 November 2012, 02:55:55 pm
Quote from: casey_kisses on 12 November 2012, 02:32:37 pm
Quote from: RoxyBlu on 12 November 2012, 02:15:59 pm
Anyone had this idiot today?  :FF


Hello Miss im sarah and wanted to ask if i can give you a video of my x bf doing his ass with own cock and real name to post on your videos or just pass around? ps also got name , adderss and number to go with video! doing this to pay him back for cheating on me and hitting me but need a hand to expose the prick pretty please as id love your help so so so much! Thanks sarah x

DELETE!!!

Might be the same 'Sarah' that was texting girls a while ago!

xx

Thank god he didn't see my number in that case!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 12 November 2012, 08:27:41 pm
well I had a phone call asking me if I would consider an extreme fantasy, for which he would pay up to a thousand pounds for, I asked him to elaborate and he said it involved his dog, I asked him to go on and he said " I would like you to try and suck him"
errrrr no, absolutely not,  dirty twat
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 13 November 2012, 09:04:39 am
Text received last night: "Do you want me to come?" Deleted straight away before I replied "No I want you to f*** off!"  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: WelshieGirly on 13 November 2012, 01:45:00 pm
This today!

From: Abusing-the-AW-email-system--idiot.

Hey hows things just been checking your profile im not looking for a appointment or anything im just interested in what goes on but when I seen your picture I had to say hello think you look georgeous and id love to maybe get to know you xx

I know we should never reply to these idiots but I couldn't help reply with -

Sure thing! getting to know me will cost you ..... an hour.

Never got a reply lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: WelshieGirly on 13 November 2012, 01:49:56 pm
Quote from: wg on 13 November 2012, 01:45:00 pm
This today!

From: Abusing-the-AW-email-system--idiot.

Hey hows things just been checking your profile im not looking for a appointment or anything im just interested in what goes on but when I seen your picture I had to say hello think you look georgeous and id love to maybe get to know you xx

I know we should never reply to these idiots but I couldn't help reply with -

Sure thing! getting to know me will cost you ..... an hour.

Never got a reply lol.

Oh he just replied with - Not what I was taking about x  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 13 November 2012, 01:51:23 pm
Quote from: wg on 13 November 2012, 01:49:56 pm
Quote from: wg on 13 November 2012, 01:45:00 pm
This today!

From: Abusing-the-AW-email-system--idiot.

Hey hows things just been checking your profile im not looking for a appointment or anything im just interested in what goes on but when I seen your picture I had to say hello think you look georgeous and id love to maybe get to know you xx

I know we should never reply to these idiots but I couldn't help reply with -

Sure thing! getting to know me will cost you ..... an hour.

Never got a reply lol.

Oh he just replied with - Not what I was taking about x  :FF

Point him at match.com - I do that with every freebie-hunter and date seeker that comes my way! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 13 November 2012, 03:19:29 pm
'Im in your town today, love the pics in your private gallery! Fancy half an hour between your thighs with my tongue deep into you? If so text me first as im in an office, and then we can arrange something asap, Hope to hear from you soon'


Sadly, he will never hear back from me!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 14 November 2012, 01:19:50 pm
Another one from AW


Hi Miss, hope Im not bothering you by emailing here....

Im Peter, 26, and a final years student at Glasgow University - one side of me...:P

The other side of me is a secret filthy sissy slut slave... that noone knows about...:P Not my flatmates, my work colleagues, my uni friends..... so far anyway!

I would do anything Miss commands, to serve as your local blackmailed and humiliated servant/slave... to humiliate and control however you see fit.....

I can give Miss any incriminating photos of myself, and information she wants to use against me....

I beg for a chance to serve you Miss! Il be a good local slave......

Yours, Pete B..... x
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: WelshieGirly on 15 November 2012, 11:01:35 am
Phone call:

Him: Quick questions, do you ever let people watch you with a client?
Me:  ??? I think you would have to find a client that was willing! There a couples on AW for that type of thing.
Him: Yeah but i like the look of you.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Xenia on 15 November 2012, 02:37:51 pm
Did anybody had this SMS? Poor sick sod.

" looking for a girls to cut off my cock and balls for real tonight so i can be a girl I know this sounds weird but i am totally genuine and have 3500 cash to do if u can do this please reply and I il call for appointment thanks 100 percent genuine cash waiting"

I've replied: I never would waste my scalpel for somebody who could not punctuate.  He did not responded yet. lol

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimmy on 15 November 2012, 04:11:01 pm
Not sure if this is funny or just pure abusive, but I had this charming email from a 'client', sent at 6am this morning   ???

Look your alrite looking (6/10) but how can you come on a website OBVIOUSLY for PROSTITUTES and ask for respect and not a 'cheap bang bang quickie'
Your a slag prostitute who deserves nothing more being on this site in the first place??
 
from a user called BrandonJ69 on AW, definately one to avoid! Anyone think this guy was horny, lacking in cash to pay for an escort and gutted I dont offer cheap quickies?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 15 November 2012, 04:27:08 pm
One guy has made me feel uncomfortable after being so in patient asking for my address numerous times. Even though told him close by hmm. He then went on asking who am I wtf the complete idiot after phoning me. Then told me his driving I need your addressee one last time in a horrible tone of voice *shivers*. After ending the call I text him that am busy, the prat adding to my reject list.

At times like this makes me want to have a pimp to deal with these wankers of society. But really wouldn't happen as don't like being controlled.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: WelshieGirly on 15 November 2012, 04:55:18 pm
Quote from: Kimmy on 15 November 2012, 04:11:01 pm
Not sure if this is funny or just pure abusive, but I had this charming email from a 'client', sent at 6am this morning   ???

Look your alrite looking (6/10) but how can you come on a website OBVIOUSLY for PROSTITUTES and ask for respect and not a 'cheap bang bang quickie'
Your a slag prostitute who deserves nothing more being on this site in the first place??
 
from a user called BrandonJ69 on AW, definately one to avoid! Anyone think this guy was horny, lacking in cash to pay for an escort and gutted I dont offer cheap quickies?

Whats an absolute Dick! Report this abusive twat to AW and block him x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimmy on 15 November 2012, 05:17:30 pm
Quote from: wg on 15 November 2012, 04:55:18 pm
Quote from: Kimmy on 15 November 2012, 04:11:01 pm
Not sure if this is funny or just pure abusive, but I had this charming email from a 'client', sent at 6am this morning   ???

Look your alrite looking (6/10) but how can you come on a website OBVIOUSLY for PROSTITUTES and ask for respect and not a 'cheap bang bang quickie'
Your a slag prostitute who deserves nothing more being on this site in the first place??
 
from a user called BrandonJ69 on AW, definately one to avoid! Anyone think this guy was horny, lacking in cash to pay for an escort and gutted I dont offer cheap quickies?

Whats an absolute Dick! Report this abusive twat to AW and block him x

Ha! I just wrote him a negative note with the email he sent included, and blocked him (after sending him a funny and sarcastic reply  ;D)

Hilarious isnt it, if he thinks so badly of us, why is he on a prostitute site at 6am in the morning? I'm actually thankful that he sent it, so I dont ever have to meet him and can warn other girls not to meet him either, shocking attitude! x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 15 November 2012, 06:45:34 pm
Received this eve...

wtf @ur prices??!!!!!!! do u charge per stone??!!!!!!!!


And received this, which is always one guaranteed to make me block and delete...

were u at


 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 15 November 2012, 06:55:14 pm
Quote from: Kimmy on 15 November 2012, 04:11:01 pm
Not sure if this is funny or just pure abusive, but I had this charming email from a 'client', sent at 6am this morning   ???

Look your alrite looking (6/10) but how can you come on a website OBVIOUSLY for PROSTITUTES and ask for respect and not a 'cheap bang bang quickie'
Your a slag prostitute who deserves nothing more being on this site in the first place??
 
from a user called BrandonJ69 on AW, definately one to avoid! Anyone think this guy was horny, lacking in cash to pay for an escort and gutted I dont offer cheap quickies?

After reading this sounds like his got some head issues.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyLove on 15 November 2012, 08:58:56 pm
Had an email entitled 'Mmm how lovely'

The contents of the email:  'Maybe not?'

What a pointless nasty little person he must be.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bbwlouise on 15 November 2012, 10:39:09 pm
Just had this one via AW

MICHAEL FROM STEVENAGE WOULD LOVE TOO TRY EVERYTHING

Ffs!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 15 November 2012, 11:40:30 pm
They really are in full force today aren't they! I don't know who this one thinks he is!! I gave him a mouthful and blocked him!

"Hi babe
Hope your doing fine and well
love to meet you tomorrow daytime for 3hrs for 350 plus drinks
hope your fine to try both anal and pussy without and your very very safe too
as you know I am married too have to be very careful
I am looking to meet someone for regular too
never done this before only webcamming
hope to hear soon
love
DrPaulxx"
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xbbwkimx on 16 November 2012, 10:47:35 am
bloke on AW:

can i see you on webcam, just for a min, for free.

me: no sorry.

him: please i have loads of money.

me: because thats all i want/need.. money, not respect.

him:cool so can i see you?


feck off!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 16 November 2012, 02:39:20 pm
caller . *hey can i come over now*?,
(
I said hi " Id just put my available light on and number literally seconds before as i was on way back from the shops i can see you at  2.15 "
 calller  *no dont bother i cant wait that long *! he called at 1.37   ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lunar Moon on 16 November 2012, 07:07:10 pm
I seriously wonder how much of our lives we actually waste reading ridiculous texts from guys, I know I get so many a day ...

Love the 'were u at' from Cat - I get so many like that and 'r u at it'  ffs!!  Do these morons really expect a reply.

Then you get ones like I just had ....

'Saw you on adult work Wow your pics are stunning xxx please tell me you are single and you date, I'm single and I would love to get to know you xxx ex pro rugby player, single good looking, decent and fun xxx' .......... Followed by a photo actually clothed and no penis shots bless  :o.

Nice enough but honestly do they think AW is a Dating Site.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimmy on 16 November 2012, 10:28:59 pm
Its wanker central this week! Had a message on AW from a guy, title of message 'creampie', lol-

'am i free to cum my man jizz onto your pussy then rub it all in'

I replied back saying no as it is dangerous and could spread infection, I then got this pile of jibberish back

'and if I presented to you the results of that research is not infected?
I am 22 years old and never used such us&#322;?g but probably be seduced to you^^

No problem if you send to my email more photo and movies ( when you fuck) ?
travis****@gmail.com'

Blocked!  :FF ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RoxyBlu on 16 November 2012, 11:06:52 pm
Quote from: Kimmy on 16 November 2012, 10:28:59 pm
Its wanker central this week! Had a message on AW from a guy, title of message 'creampie', lol-

'am i free to cum my man jizz onto your pussy then rub it all in'

I replied back saying no as it is dangerous and could spread infection, I then got this pile of jibberish back

'and if I presented to you the results of that research is not infected?
I am 22 years old and never used such us&#322;?g but probably be seduced to you^^

No problem if you send to my email more photo and movies ( when you fuck) ?
travis****@gmail.com'

Blocked!  :FF ;D

I had this email aswell!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimmy on 16 November 2012, 11:22:07 pm
Quote from: RoxyBlu on 16 November 2012, 11:06:52 pm
Quote from: Kimmy on 16 November 2012, 10:28:59 pm
Its wanker central this week! Had a message on AW from a guy, title of message 'creampie', lol-

'am i free to cum my man jizz onto your pussy then rub it all in'

I replied back saying no as it is dangerous and could spread infection, I then got this pile of jibberish back

'and if I presented to you the results of that research is not infected?
I am 22 years old and never used such us&#322;?g but probably be seduced to you^^

No problem if you send to my email more photo and movies ( when you fuck) ?
travis****@gmail.com'

Blocked!  :FF ;D

I had this email aswell!

hahaha, must be a TW doing the rounds!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimmy on 16 November 2012, 11:56:29 pm
Just had a call from an asian guy about half an hour ago wanting to book, booked for Tuesday evening for an hour

I then just now had a text from him saying
:

'hi bbe will u do an hour 4 ?50'

I told him not to contact me again, that that is an insult and he wouldnt get half an hour with me for it

his reply 'ok love'

dick head central this week!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 18 November 2012, 01:24:16 am
Received on AW from tammy*** - is this YOU? Then please read my profile, thanks 8)

SUBJECT: Business
Hi hope your ok,
are you available for Sunday and can you give me the different prices and duration times and what you do etc?
Thanks

(then 2 minutes later)

SUBJECT: Buisness
Hi,
In addition to the last email , can I also ask your height also?
Thanks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 18 November 2012, 11:21:04 am
Hi sexy babe

Just been on your profile . WOW. nice pictures ,making my cock stand up mmm you look very very sexy babe .

I'm looking to meet sexy girl for sex sex sessions .

Can we meet today for our first horny sex session babe ?

 sent on a day when im not even showing as available or listed ..  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wonderlass on 18 November 2012, 11:30:53 am
Quote from: orchidperfume on 18 November 2012, 11:21:04 am

I'm looking to meet sexy girl for sex sex sessions .



You turned down double-sexy-sex? My goodness.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 18 November 2012, 11:52:01 am
very very sex sex !!! no thanks no thanks !!!! ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 18 November 2012, 07:40:48 pm
Had a guy email me today...

When you come up to Abz next **** come on the saturday will take you out and do all your favourite things.

Responded with well my overnight rates are 700 from 8pm - 7am feel free to place a booking via AW.

Nada zilch nothing, plus am curious as to what my favourite things are.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kara on 19 November 2012, 03:10:01 am
Text at 02:13 am (don't you just love these) :-


"R u still open?  I would like to book u 2hrs visit me know pls.  Could you pls can?" 

 ::)  ::)


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xbbwkimx on 19 November 2012, 09:42:46 am
i made a new AW one yesterday for yorkshire, because im ALWAYS up there with inlaws!

anyway iv had three messages on there

1st:

him: hi can u do a 15 min quickie 4 15/25, its all i got.
me: no sorry i dont do quickies and im abit offended lol.
Him: y u offended 4?
me: because im worth alot more then ?15!
him: u r but its all i can afford. If u dont ask u dont get lol.
Him: forget it i can get a bird 4 40 4 an hour round ere.


2nd: would you do an hour for ?50.


3rd: can you come now for car meet, ?45.


MY PRICES ARE ON MY SITE!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: WelshieGirly on 19 November 2012, 12:17:39 pm
Phone call today -

Him: Hi can I have some details?
Me: Like what?
Him: Well would you let me be with yea after some one else has?
Me: Sorry... ???
Him: see you after some one else?
Me: You mean straight away? no showering time or anything in between?
Him: Yeah  ;D I want to lick you all over after someone else has been with you
Me: *Shivers and puts the phone down*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 19 November 2012, 01:23:57 pm
texter today.
Hi i do not wish to send spam but would you see an unexperienced virgin for a lower rate.

my text back
 no ive opted out of spams from virgins ::)                                 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: WelshieGirly on 19 November 2012, 04:52:21 pm
I got the old favorite today -
Him: are you open?
Me: nah my legs are closed at the moment  :P
Him: oh ok thanx.

Sigh...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RedLady1991 on 19 November 2012, 07:03:44 pm
weird one today, it was just:

"cum"  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 19 November 2012, 08:30:46 pm
Quote from: RedLady1991 on 19 November 2012, 07:03:44 pm
weird one today, it was just:

"cum"  ???

"gone"  8)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 20 November 2012, 04:01:19 am
Quote from: wg on 19 November 2012, 12:17:39 pm
Phone call today -

Him: Hi can I have some details?
Me: Like what?
Him: Well would you let me be with yea after some one else has?
Me: Sorry... ???
Him: see you after some one else?
Me: You mean straight away? no showering time or anything in between?
Him: Yeah  ;D I want to lick you all over after someone else has been with you
Me: *Shivers and puts the phone down*



Oh my !! The dreaded sloppy seconds ! Ive never been able to see the attraction in it myself , theres a few WGS that do bareback that offer it , then afterwards the next client can lick out the 1st's cum.

Whatever turns you on eh :)

Id "shiver" at this request too as I wouldnt want to see 2 men BB and/or back to back with no shower time
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 20 November 2012, 07:56:28 am
Quote from: foreign affairs on 14 November 2012, 01:19:50 pm
Another one from AW


Hi Miss, hope I'm not bothering you by emailing here....

I'm Peter, 26, and a final years student at Glasgow University - one side of me...:P

The other side of me is a secret filthy sissy slut slave... that no one knows about...:P Not my flatmates, my work colleagues, my uni friends..... so far anyway!

I would do anything Miss commands, to serve as your local blackmailed and humiliated servant/slave... to humiliate and control however you see fit.....

I can give Miss any incriminating photos of myself, and information she wants to use against me....

I beg for a chance to serve you Miss! Ill be a good local slave......

Yours, Pete B..... x
 

could be genuine ? I can always manage another slave.

Had this phone call this week and he's rung all the other WGs I know too.  He managed to catch me when I was in the middle of browsing a GORG new vintage shop and in the time id spent going outside to take the call and having a 15min discussion , they shut up and i missed buying a pressie for my Friends baby shower - Damn and Bugger !!!

Him - Hello , Am i speaking to mistress Cleo , your Friend Nikki gave me your number as she said Dominatrix is more your type of thing

me - yes its mistress  , hello , that was nice of Nikki to rec me , what can i do for you ?

him  - I'm a submissive who likes to dress in sissy clothes , do you cater for this ? ( asked me a few more questions involving items of sissy wear which i wont bore you with)

me - Yes , i do mistress sessions and I'm experienced with subs and TVs and i have plenty of clothes in your size

him - When are you next avail , how much notice do you need and could i see you tonight please Mistress? 

 ( all seems pretty standard so far and he seemed to be genuine n polite )

Me - I'm sorry i cannot do this eve but I can see you 2mor late aft/early eve

Him - Great !! Can we say 5pm for an hours sesh?

Me - Of course , make sure you confirm an hour before and ill give you sat nav code. I shall look forward to your grovelling at my feet tomorrow eve and having a new sissy to "use"

Him - Oh , just one thing Mistress , I cant actually PAY for a session as I'm broke , but I DO need a safe place to dress once a week. I appreciate that your running a business but i am an excellent cleaner and DI-Yer , i can do all your menial tasks and even give you foot massages , whatever you want really in exchange for a safe haven to dress. I don't require any actual "domming" or sexual services . All you would need to do is give me a list of orders / jobs each week and il just get on with it while you do other clients or relax with your feet up.

Me - ( big sigh ) A - Sissy's are never much use at "jobs" i hate , all they do is polish mirrors whilst admiring their frills  .  The jobs i hate or cant do myself are all based in the back yard - Would you like to stand out there in a dress sanding down my shabby chic  furniture ready for painting  or dismantling my very old , dangerously crumbling  ,   yorkshire stone outhouse built with ancient heavy solid stone slabs in the cold n rain ? The roof is made up of 2m square , 10inch thick millstones if you fancy lifting them off for me . The next door neighbours dog will prob come out and bark at you too , and I'm sure you want mind the neighbours seeing you sissy-ed up if they investigate the barking ........Remember you did say "any DIY job around the house " ( he he  ) Not to mention this would be making my house look indiscreet and ruining it as a "safe haven" for genuine paying slaves/ customers - thought not.  B - When i put my feet up on an eve after a days work I don't want a strange man in a dress  wandering around the house getting under my feet. I like to be alone , just me n the dog , relaxed n peace n quiet!! C - just out of interest , how many other WGs have you ring with this "offer" ?

him - your the 15Th Ive tried today , sorry for wasting your time "Mistress" , can you not just meet me for ten Min's tonight to see I'm genuine and not a weirdo

Me - Goodbye !!!!



  He rang the next day on a diff number !!! He began with "I'm sorry if Ive already rang you before ......but........". As soon as we got to "but" i sussed who it was and couldn't be arsed been polite the 2Nd time. he got swore at . What an idiot!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 20 November 2012, 08:02:01 am
Quote from: Xenia on 15 November 2012, 02:37:51 pm
Did anybody had this SMS? Poor sick sod.

" looking for a girls to cut off my cock and balls for real tonight so i can be a girl I know this sounds weird but i am totally genuine and have 3500 cash to do if u can do this please reply and I il call for appointment thanks 100 percent genuine cash waiting"

I've replied: I never would waste my scalpel for somebody who could not punctuate.  He did not responded yet. lol


Yes !!

I had this guy , just mentioned it on another thread.

He had reworded it and no mention of 3500 , but its got to be the same guy ! bizzare
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 20 November 2012, 08:20:31 am
Quote from: Luvmylips on 11 November 2012, 10:40:44 am
Got to hand it to the guys they do give us a laugh! I've taken out his address and mobile contact. Decided to use ozadz as a new advertising service and got this gem: 



Skip to bottom line if you don't have patience to read all bullshit (honestly IS NOT, only TRUTH)




Ernest made me laugh!!

So basically he wants an overnight and a possible relationship/ongoing FB for ?100 . But you do get dinner and second hand laptop.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 20 November 2012, 08:37:30 am
Quote from: KinkyVixen on 20 November 2012, 08:02:01 am
Quote from: Xenia on 15 November 2012, 02:37:51 pm
Did anybody had this SMS? Poor sick sod.

" looking for a girls to cut off my cock and balls for real tonight so i can be a girl I know this sounds weird but i am totally genuine and have 3500 cash to do if u can do this please reply and I il call for appointment thanks 100 percent genuine cash waiting"

I've replied: I never would waste my scalpel for somebody who could not punctuate.  He did not responded yet. lol


Yes !!

I had this guy , just mentioned it on another thread.

He had reworded it and no mention of 3500 , but its got to be the same guy ! bizzare
maybe he cant be bothered to wait for the gender sex change op and hopes someone can do a quick removal for a set  fee!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 20 November 2012, 09:01:38 am
Quote from: RoxyBlu on 12 November 2012, 02:15:59 pm
Anyone had this idiot today?  :FF


Hello Miss I'm Sarah and wanted to ask if i can give you a video of my x bf doing his ass with own cock and real name to post on your videos or just pass around? PS also got name , adders and number to go with video! doing this to pay him back for cheating on me and hitting me but need a hand to expose the prick pretty please as id love your help so so so much! Thanks Sarah x

DELETE!!!


Hmm , this one has got the spider senses going. It screams "mumsnet" to me.

For those who haven't heard of it , ( as i didn't know what it was until a few days ago either!) , Its a forum for super -mums/happy marrieds/ideal homemaker types. Bit of on line mothers meeting vibe. Upstanding pillars of the community sorts of Lady's  - Not the sort of women who agree with prostitution. :)

One of these Lady's had found her hubby's i-pad open on his AW inbox ( silly man - 1st rule of punting is cover your tracks!!! )  , he has been a member of AW for 6 years and had been asking WGs for BB . Understandably the lady is devastated that her husband wanted bareback sex with " poor oppressed drug addicted prostitutes who must be getting pimped and forced to sell and degrade  themselves " ( their view of WGs - ahem !!) . They were trying to conceive at the time and I do feel for her that shes been trying to try for child with a man who is sleeping around without protection . Thank God some AW joined and filled in these women to the reality of us all NOT been drug addict/pimped/oppressed women , opened the eyes of the mumsnetters a bit that did :) . . . . . . the revelation of the 1st lady who caught hubby inspired others to snoop on their hubby's and theres a thread about 20 pages long full of women who've just discovered there "DH" ( darling husband - had to google that - puke !! ) is a lying cheating "pervert".


I do feel sorry for these Lady's , a lot of marriages ended now. The moral is punters shouldn't leave laptops n i-pads open on bloody AW when wifey is around . The bad side for us WGs is that some of these women have been making fake AW accs and getting up to allsorts of mischief making , trying to "trap" there "darling husbands" . Whats more worrying is this Mumsnet site seems to have quite a bit of political clout, by all accounts they were behind the daily mails "anti porn" drive . One to keep an eye on i think and just be aware that theres a lot of angry wives all over the UK on a anti - AW mission.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 20 November 2012, 09:05:31 am
Quote from: orchidperfume on 20 November 2012, 08:37:30 am

maybe he cant be bothered to wait for the gender sex change op and hopes someone can do a quick removal for a set  fee!!!

LOL :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 20 November 2012, 10:33:49 am
Quote from: KinkyVixen on 20 November 2012, 09:01:38 am
Quote from: RoxyBlu on 12 November 2012, 02:15:59 pm
Anyone had this idiot today?  :FF


Hello Miss I'm Sarah and wanted to ask if i can give you a video of my x bf doing his ass with own cock and real name to post on your videos or just pass around? PS also got name , adders and number to go with video! doing this to pay him back for cheating on me and hitting me but need a hand to expose the prick pretty please as id love your help so so so much! Thanks Sarah x

DELETE!!!

I do feel sorry for these Lady's , a lot of marriages ended now. The moral is punters shouldn't leave laptops n i-pads open on bloody AW when wifey is around .

Well actually the 'moral' of the story is that they probably shouldn't be cheating when married.  ;)

xx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xbbwkimx on 21 November 2012, 08:43:47 am
todays:

Hi hello you ok, My name is Mark, I?m all new to this kind thing, I?m single after being in Long term relationship same old same old,,been with same girl since school..and oh went off with my so called best mate, hence experience is ZERO sorry! looking to for someone who could maybe help me move me on,,, ! Please can you forward your best rates Bering in mind my non experience but on a regular basic please,

All Best Mark x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kitty_of_Herts on 21 November 2012, 10:00:35 am
Hi sweet bundle. is anal included? And do you do sex without protection?

From a number in Yemen apparently. I don't do anal, and I definitely don't do BB, so told him to go do one :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsummer on 21 November 2012, 02:33:08 pm
Just in from AW  ::)

'I just want to ask is posibl for two vibrators or dildo one in your pussy one in your as same time you do oral without and I finish in your mouth or on your face?'

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 21 November 2012, 03:00:03 pm
Adriana that request sounds more like an unpleasant medical experiment or procedure.
You giving it a miss im guessing ! :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsummer on 21 November 2012, 05:08:58 pm
Oh no, I promptly called him after his seductive message and proclaimed my love. Nothing gets me going like a twat who can't spell and wants to stuff me full of dildos and vibrators  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 21 November 2012, 05:38:18 pm
You are missing out on a unique and unforgettable experience im so jel! Ha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 21 November 2012, 06:08:12 pm
Quote from: Adriana on 21 November 2012, 02:33:08 pm
Just in from AW  ::)

'I just want to ask is posibl for two vibrators or dildo one in your pussy one in your as same time you do oral without and I finish in your mouth or on your face?'

I would have responded with, how about I have my big black gimp shag your ass and you go down on me and as he is about to empty all up you I pee down your throat! But obviously a bit more expletive lol ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 21 November 2012, 06:12:30 pm
A text message earlier on:

"Hi I am looking for friendly cleaner at ?10 per hour who can also have some fun with me alongside cleaning work"

it made laugh so much that I had tears running down my cheeks :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lunar Moon on 22 November 2012, 07:26:03 am
Quote from: Adriana on 21 November 2012, 05:08:58 pm
Oh no, I promptly called him after his seductive message and proclaimed my love. Nothing gets me going like a twat who can't spell and wants to stuff me full of dildos and vibrators  ;)

 ;D ;D ;D Just choked on my morning tea  !!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 22 November 2012, 06:52:39 pm
Just had a call by a guy who was obviously holding a baby crying!
Hello my mate gave me youre number are you an escort agency.
I said no!
Ok no drama luv !
Yes youre on my block list daddy !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 25 November 2012, 02:52:45 am
Call at 2.30am

Hello you available luv?

No I never work at this kind of time.

Not even for good money?

No not even for good money! Who do you think you are? Click.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 25 November 2012, 08:38:35 am
Quote from: MissKylie on 25 November 2012, 02:52:45 am
Call at 2.30am

Hello you available luv?

No I never work at this kind of time.

Not even for good money?

No not even for good money! Who do you think you are? Click.

All those numbers that call my work phone after 12pm, which is on silent. I tend to call back at 6.30am when I am up  ;D and then just as they pick it up I put the phone down lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 25 November 2012, 10:30:09 am
Quote from: Fluffy Bunny on 25 November 2012, 08:38:35 am
Quote from: MissKylie on 25 November 2012, 02:52:45 am
Call at 2.30am

Hello you available luv?

No I never work at this kind of time.

Not even for good money?

No not even for good money! Who do you think you are? Click.

All those numbers that call my work phone after 12pm, which is on silent. I tend to call back at 6.30am when I am up  ;D and then just as they pick it up I put the phone down lol

I stop answering the phone around 8pm, and every morning I'm amazed at how many missed calls there are between 11pm-4am! I used to work nights back in the day, but it's just not worth it, the number of people who try and 'bribe' you, saying they "will make it worth your while", offering to pay mountains of cash, or to bring along some 'free' drugs... That and all the drunks pathetically attempting to have a bit of a wank, thank you, but no thank you  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 25 November 2012, 10:49:42 am
Quote from: ilovedots on 25 November 2012, 10:30:09 am
Quote from: Fluffy Bunny on 25 November 2012, 08:38:35 am
All those numbers that call my work phone after 12pm, which is on silent. I tend to call back at 6.30am when I am up  ;D and then just as they pick it up I put the phone down lol

I stop answering the phone around 8pm, and every morning I'm amazed at how many missed calls there are between 11pm-4am! I used to work nights back in the day, but it's just not worth it, the number of people who try and 'bribe' you, saying they "will make it worth your while", offering to pay mountains of cash, or to bring along some 'free' drugs... That and all the drunks pathetically attempting to have a bit of a wank, thank you, but no thank you  ;D

Im the same as Fluffy and ILD.  I wont answer my phone after 8 pm unless Im touring and it is just to take bookings for the following day.  Then I stop taking calls at 10 pm.  I wont work after 8pm either.  Last booking being either 7.00 pm or thereabouts.  I like to relax in the evening and have this time to myself. 

If I get up for the loo at dawn I will call the missed callers from the middle of the night and have a chuckle.  Some guys are just so disrespectful and like ILD says, its amazing just how low they will stoop to try and get a booking. ::) Eejits or as I say under my breath when I put my phone down TWATS !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 25 November 2012, 01:58:12 pm
Quote from: Daisy Harford on 25 November 2012, 01:23:09 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 25 November 2012, 10:30:09 am
Quote from: MissKylie on 25 November 2012, 02:52:45 am
I tend to call back at 6.30am when I am up  ;D and then just as they pick it up I put the phone down lol
I'm amazed at how many missed calls there are between 11pm-4am!

@Kylie - I'm sure I read in your 'how to be a good escort thread' the other week that you were going to try and be more discreet and not call people randomly?

I get up quite early and I've had a few 'you still working calls' at about 6/7 am. I kindly explain that it's now the next day and I'm actually having my breakfast. ;D
Excuse me? What on earth are you talking about? You have got yourself very confused because I NEVER said that and that's not something I would do as I don't even get up at 6.30! I would suggest you watch what your quoting because someone else said that.

By the way it's only because I lost my work phone and calls are temporally being diverted to my personal phone or I wouldn't have picked it up gone midnight.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 25 November 2012, 02:54:20 pm
Quote from: Daisy Harford on 25 November 2012, 02:42:09 pm
Quote from: MissKylie on 25 November 2012, 01:58:12 pm
Quote from: Daisy Harford on 25 November 2012, 01:23:09 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 25 November 2012, 10:30:09 am
Quote from: MissKylie on 25 November 2012, 02:52:45 am
I tend to call back at 6.30am when I am up  ;D and then just as they pick it up I put the phone down lol
I'm amazed at how many missed calls there are between 11pm-4am!

@Kylie - I'm sure I read in your 'how to be a good escort thread' the other week that you were going to try and be more discreet and not call people randomly?

I get up quite early and I've had a few 'you still working calls' at about 6/7 am. I kindly explain that it's now the next day and I'm actually having my breakfast. ;D
Excuse me? What on earth are you talking about? You have got yourself very confused because I NEVER said that and that's not something I would do as I don't even get up at 6.30! I would suggest you watch what your quoting because someone else said that.

By the way it's only because I lost my work phone and calls are temporally being diverted to my personal phone or I wouldn't have picked it up gone midnight.
Sorry Kylie, must have read the quote wrong. Apologies.  :)
No problem it's just not something I would ever do even if I were up at 6.30
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 25 November 2012, 03:24:21 pm
Had this yesterday -

'Seen u on AW and fink u look wel horny. Convince me ur the ultimate gurl.'

Ummmm  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 25 November 2012, 10:30:51 pm
The text message recieved at 6.41pm today


Hello, love your profile, any chance of sending more info about yourself, very little on profile?. This did make me chuckle. He then said Being a hairdresser, how would you like a free tidy up trim. Wearing only fancy pants and my gown. Then on to the bed to masssage me.


Added to reject list straight away.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kara on 26 November 2012, 03:54:58 am
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 25 November 2012, 03:24:21 pm
Had this yesterday -

'Seen u on AW and fink u look wel horny. Convince me ur the ultimate gurl.'

Ummmm  :FF
Arrogant tosser.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Quote from: meetingdiversity on 25 November 2012, 10:30:51 pm
The text message recieved at 6.41pm today


Hello, love your profile, any chance of sending more info about yourself, very little on profile?. This did make me chuckle. He then said Being a hairdresser, how would you like a free tidy up trim. Wearing only fancy pants and my gown. Then on to the bed to masssage me.


Added to reject list straight away.
There's a hair fetishist floating around the RB's on Adultwork lately, wants to cut girls hair - probably the same guy.

I've been going to the same hairdresser since around 2002 - the day I trust an unknown client with cutting my hair will be the day hell freezes over! *shudder*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: WelshieGirly on 27 November 2012, 04:47:48 pm
Phone call tody - hi will you do my twin brother at the same time too?

Sigh... *click*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 27 November 2012, 05:40:52 pm
Quote from: wg on 27 November 2012, 04:47:48 pm
Phone call tody - hi will you do my twin brother at the same time too?

Sigh... *click*

This made me laugh so much, it sounds like the kind of stuff my brothers (also twins) would come out with!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 27 November 2012, 06:32:56 pm
This guy is doing the rounds again...I love that he's called Underpants Boy....he sounds like a child superhero!  Underpants Boy to the rescueeeeeeee!

Hello

Someone has just sent you a message from the AdultWork.com Website. The
contents of the message are displayed below.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Humiliation Video
-----------------------------------------------------------------


Hi,

First of all do you do custom videos and if so could you do one for me?

For the video I would need you to buy some pairs of Y fronts for me. I
have provided a few links to give you an idea of the style, you can
purchase them from anywhere you wish.


http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/MENS-3-x-100-COTTON-Y-FRONTS-M-L-XL-BLUES-/180972491735?pt=UK_Men_s_Underwear&var=&hash=item2a22cd13d7

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/4-PAIRS-MENS-WHITE-100-COTTON-Y-FRONT-BRIEFS-SIZES-S-M-L-XL-/221063754400?pt=UK_Men_s_Underwear&var=&hash=item33786d32a0

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Free-PnP-3-x-Mens-100-Cotton-Y-Fronts-Underwear-/230640252947?pt=UK_Men_s_Underwear&var=&hash=item35b33af813

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/3-MENS-100-COTTON-Y-FRONTS-UNDERWEAR-Sizes-M-L-XL-/120716679642?pt=UK_Men_s_Underwear&var=&hash=item1c1b4659da

I would like you to be either on your own, or with another female
discussing and holding up the underpants. I want to be thoroughly verbally
humiliated for wearing shameful Y fronts and for you and the second person
(female) to thoroughly handle them and ensure I always wear the most
humiliating, childish Y fronts I can find and continue my life wearing
them.

The ones you supply shall become my everyday underpants. It will be so
humiliating for me to know that one or two women have seen, handled and
used my underpants which i must then wear and be completely humiliated for
it.

Could the video be around 10 - 15 minutes long, and can you then post the
underpants to me to wear after. Should you be happy with this I will email
you my address and any further details you require. Please let me know if
you can do this for me and how much it will cost.

We can discuss details further if you want.

Regards

Underpants Boy
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Foxing on 27 November 2012, 08:54:00 pm
LOL at the Underpants Boy - althoguh that reminds of a RB I've seen a few times about a guy who wants you to throw cream pies in his face  :o  :D

I don't get the ones who want text conversations...FFS I said call me not text  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 27 November 2012, 09:44:16 pm
I received a message from Underpants Boy too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RedLady1991 on 27 November 2012, 09:45:14 pm
Me three, which is weird because I'm not in the same area as you guys I don't think!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 27 November 2012, 09:46:43 pm
Quote from: RedLady1991 on 27 November 2012, 09:45:14 pm
Me three, which is weird because I'm not in the same area as you guys I don't think!

He just wants a video with our friends laughing at "his" undies. I might just do one for general viewing :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RedLady1991 on 29 November 2012, 06:32:52 am
Me = having bad night's sleep, just doses off again at 6.30 am.
*work phone rings* (forgot to turn it off damnit)
Pick up even though it's withheld! (sleep deprivation made brain loopy? Only explanation!)

"hi, you free now?"
me (sounding obviously sleepy): " um no not till 9am, sorry"
"not until 9?"
Me: "yeah sorry"
"are you sure? I just finished work"
Me: "yes Im sure *insert light hearted giggle while in my head thinking wtf?!*
"if you're sure then I'll try and stay up till 9, are you sure you don't do earlier?"

Me:*facepalm*


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: WelshieGirly on 29 November 2012, 10:09:14 am
Text this morning:

Can you do a quick one for 20 as i cum real quick

Considering on my profile it says calls only and no haggling that would be a no.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 29 November 2012, 11:54:54 am
Subject:   Escorting Today

Hi,

36/m nr your town, have never used an escort before but get more and more tempted. Off work this afternoon but wondered if you fancied a chat, profile seemed interesting, and as much about you enjoying as me, which I like.

Have messenger if you want to chat there?

 :FF
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 29 November 2012, 10:23:50 pm
Quote from: Daisy_ on 29 November 2012, 08:25:25 pm
Man on the phone asks if he can make an appointment for today. I tell him yes, I just need a few hours to get ready (as I always do) so could arrange a booking for 8:30.

"Fantastic" he says, "i'll call you back at 8 and make a booking".

y u no understand!

I know I can never get it why they don't appreciate what making a 'booking' actually means! 'Organising a piss-up in a brewery' springs to mind, if it wasn't so painful it would be funny!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sweet-Pleasure on 30 November 2012, 01:55:59 am
Quote from: Juliette on 29 November 2012, 10:23:50 pm
Quote from: Daisy_ on 29 November 2012, 08:25:25 pm
Man on the phone asks if he can make an appointment for today. I tell him yes, I just need a few hours to get ready (as I always do) so could arrange a booking for 8:30.

"Fantastic" he says, "i'll call you back at 8 and make a booking".

y u no understand!

I know I can never get it why they don't appreciate what making a 'booking' actually means! 'Organising a piss-up in a brewery' springs to mind, if it wasn't so painful it would be funny!

Round here the phrase is "couldn't organize a shag in a brothel" which seems very apt!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Moneypenny on 30 November 2012, 12:46:04 pm
Earlier today......

Man: "I've seen your profile and I'm very interested....how much are you for an hour?"

Me: "Well, you may have seen my profile, but you haven't bothered to read it. I charge ?120."

Man: "Great! There might be a small problem though...I have a 13 inch cock."

Me: Click....brrrrrrrr.

I'm not in a tolerant mood this morning. I'm sure they all think if their knobs were as big as their lies and egos, we'd been giving it out for free for the privilege.

13 inches.....my arse!!!!  Lol!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RedLady1991 on 30 November 2012, 12:50:50 pm
"generally speaking im mostly clean.which is why owo shouldn't be a problem"

Generally speaking?? Mostly clean?? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 30 November 2012, 04:56:05 pm
Quote from: Miss Moneypenny on 30 November 2012, 12:46:04 pm
Earlier today......

Man: "I've seen your profile and I'm very interested....how much are you for an hour?"

Me: "Well, you may have seen my profile, but you haven't bothered to read it. I charge ?120."

Man: "Great! There might be a small problem though...I have a 13 inch cock."

Me: Click....brrrrrrrr.

I'm not in a tolerant mood this morning. I'm sure they all think if their knobs were as big as their lies and egos, we'd been giving it out for free for the privilege.






Probably a prosthesis penis! His is 2 "








13 inches.....my arse!!!!  Lol!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 30 November 2012, 05:01:47 pm
Quote from: Miss Moneypenny on 30 November 2012, 12:46:04 pm
Earlier today......

Man: "I've seen your profile and I'm very interested....how much are you for an hour?"

Me: "Well, you may have seen my profile, but you haven't bothered to read it. I charge ?120."

Man: "Great! There might be a small problem though...I have a 13 inch cock."

Me: Click....brrrrrrrr.

I'm not in a tolerant mood this morning. I'm sure they all think if their knobs were as big as their lies and egos, we'd been giving it out for free for the privilege.

13 inches.....my arse!!!!  Lol!!!!


They are so annoying when they say that. I usually ask them if they have mistaken that for the size of their head.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimmy on 30 November 2012, 05:22:45 pm
Quote from: Miss Moneypenny on 30 November 2012, 12:46:04 pm
Earlier today......

Man: "I've seen your profile and I'm very interested....how much are you for an hour?"

Me: "Well, you may have seen my profile, but you haven't bothered to read it. I charge ?120."

Man: "Great! There might be a small problem though...I have a 13 inch cock."

Me: Click....brrrrrrrr.

I'm not in a tolerant mood this morning. I'm sure they all think if their knobs were as big as their lies and egos, we'd been giving it out for free for the privilege.

13 inches.....my arse!!!!  Lol!!!!

Even if he was telling the truth I'd have denied the booking anyway on the basis of him claiming to have a 13 incher, I dont fancy the sore fanny afterwards  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 30 November 2012, 07:40:55 pm
They all think we want a 13" and love it hard and fast thrusting for ages!  ouch
Id walk like a cowboy in a western movie afterwards!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 01 December 2012, 03:57:37 pm
This guy who rang a minute ago is having a laugh, he thinks he can cum twice in 15 minutes. Now I have heard it all, this sure makes me happy. W hat is it with having common sense about his own body, I even know that it takes time to recover after.   Out of this situation I could have wound myself up but not today. An update... He phoned back ten minutes later saying the machine swallowed his card.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nora batty on 01 December 2012, 04:03:25 pm
2 times in 15 mins omg lol.  what a chancer!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pussycat on 01 December 2012, 09:41:20 pm
Just got this email.. ::)

Hi Jasmine, do you specialise in giving the most incredible and slow teasing blowjob? If yes when is the best time to make an appointment? Thanks and kind regards, john
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 01 December 2012, 09:57:49 pm
Quote from: meetingdiversity on 01 December 2012, 03:57:37 pm
This guy who rang a minute ago is having a laugh, he thinks he can cum twice in 15 minutes. Now I have heard it all, this sure makes me happy. W hat is it with having common sense about his own body, I even know that it takes time to recover after.   Out of this situation I could have wound myself up but not today. An update... He phoned back ten minutes later saying the machine swallowed his card.

maybe he has a unique medical condition! Just Keeps coming . Rare though
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 01 December 2012, 11:01:50 pm
Quote from: orchid on 01 December 2012, 09:57:49 pm
Quote from: meetingdiversity on 01 December 2012, 03:57:37 pm
This guy who rang a minute ago is having a laugh, he thinks he can cum twice in 15 minutes. Now I have heard it all, this sure makes me happy. W hat is it with having common sense about his own body, I even know that it takes time to recover after.   Out of this situation I could have wound myself up but not today. An update... He phoned back ten minutes later saying the machine swallowed his card.

maybe he has a unique medical condition! Just Keeps coming . Rare though

Yeah his seen me before think that he pushed over time.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 02 December 2012, 09:02:37 pm
I was featured today, and even set available today up... thinking maybe I could get a nice client or two. But no. I had 6 texts when I woke up at 8 this morning (all sent between 2-6) and 5 missed phone calls  :FF I blame it on being a Saturday night, but grrr really. I had a lovely voicemail as well saying that 'I have 3 clients lined up for you, if you want them' (urm do I look like I need a pimp?!) at 4.30am. After that I had a bunch of timewasters, 2 no-shows (to be fair I knew they wouldn't show up) and this lovely conversation to top it all off (after arranging booking)

Idiot: is there anything you don't do?
Me: Please take a look at my profile likes, that shows everything I do, with no extra cost
Idiot: I want anal
Me: I don't offer anal
Him: (an hour after I had decided he was a tw) How much for gang bang? tonight
Me: No response
Him: ?

Really?!!!

Not going to waste money on featuring or available today again. I have uni work due as well, so definitely not helping my productivity.

Just when the other day I was thinking I've had no timewasters for a while *sighs* its always the way.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 02 December 2012, 10:02:18 pm
Over the past few weeks I have been harassed by this 28 year old to see him, I have an age limit of 30.  I agreed, he booked for tomorrow 3hrs at 10.30.  I emailed him on Thursday to say that I can only see him on Monday at 10.30 for an hour and a half as I do have another booking at 1pm so I could see him at 2.30 for the requested 3hrs. 

He confirmed that was ok, emailed him tonight to confirm everything so that I can pass on my address only to get a ...

"I thought we decided to leave it" read back on the emails nowhere did it say we would leave it.   I turned down a 2hr booking for this idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Daisy Penny on 03 December 2012, 12:11:02 am
I get a call - it goes like this

Idiot - Do you sell sex?
Me - Yes, I l also sell clothes, shoes and handbags on ebay.

Idiot - Ok

Idiot - Are you ALL British?
Me - No my pinky toe is Turkish

Idiot - Do you do anal?
Me - Where did you see my details?
Idiot - AW
Me - My AW profile states I do not do anal...

Idiot - Wimp

 >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 03 December 2012, 12:30:46 am
 Text      Hi,can U do 15 minutes

 Me        I don't do quickies

 Text     What's ur best price

 Me       That's what's on profile

 Text    Would U do 15 minutes for 50 hon.Please

 

 like talking to a brick wall  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 03 December 2012, 04:22:42 am
received tonight...

"ffs u shud shave ur pits!!!"

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: orchidperfume on 03 December 2012, 02:15:40 pm
caller1. @12.45 i see you in half an hour?
me hello can i ask what you would like.
caller I see you in half an hour!!!
phone dropped on floor accidently oops ive cut off the caller !!!

 caller2 @ 12.50  Hi i need roleplay
me what would you like?
I need you to be mother i be son,
me no sorry I dont do mother son role play
caller , sister?
me no sorry have to drop phone on the floor again oops its cut off the caller !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 03 December 2012, 02:58:41 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 03 December 2012, 04:22:42 am
received tonight...

"ffs u shud shave ur pits!!!"

I had one remark on one of my vids saying I should shave that thing meaning my muff.  I responded with "I am a woman ffs not a child!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 03 December 2012, 03:00:33 pm
SO I had the two confirmed bookings for today in total 4hrs work yeah I thought.  The one i mentioned and number two text me 30mins before booking to cancel this is the second time he has done it.  I have left them timewaster reports on their notes. :FF

But this morning was good, although I had to cancel one client at short notice as the fecking gasman turned up earlier than anticipated to replace my meter.  :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 03 December 2012, 04:59:14 pm
Quote from: casey_kisses on 02 December 2012, 09:02:37 pm
I was featured today, and even set available today up... thinking maybe I could get a nice client or two. But no. I had 6 texts when I woke up at 8 this morning (all sent between 2-6) and 5 missed phone calls  :FF I blame it on being a Saturday night, but grrr really. I had a lovely voicemail as well saying that 'I have 3 clients lined up for you, if you want them' (urm do I look like I need a pimp?!) at 4.30am. After that I had a bunch of timewasters, 2 no-shows (to be fair I knew they wouldn't show up) and this lovely conversation to top it all off (after arranging booking)

Idiot: is there anything you don't do?
Me: Please take a look at my profile likes, that shows everything I do, with no extra cost
Idiot: I want anal
Me: I don't offer anal
Him: (an hour after I had decided he was a tw) How much for gang bang? tonight
Me: No response
Him: ?

Really?!!!

Not going to waste money on featuring or available today again. I have uni work due as well, so definitely not helping my productivity.

Just when the other day I was thinking I've had no timewasters for a while *sighs* its always the way.

xx

I get that to showing as Available Today on there but because things are quietish I paid 70 pound for two weeks on there. So far so good, noticing an increase. But it could be from Viva Street as get more clients from there. I notice an increase of takings considering. Although I still get the days mainly full of idiots. But doesn't bother me much as I only get changed if they turn up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 05 December 2012, 10:21:55 am
email from an idiot this morning: 'I will meet you outside (location) at (time), I will be carrying a white paper bag....'

This guy contact me a few days ago about a social meet for today, which I replied to but since then, no word, no PAYMENT, and then the above 4 hours ago..... email bounced my 'erm, no.' reply  ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sugar on 05 December 2012, 12:20:44 pm
Client: can I book 2hrs on 27th dec at 4pm

Me: sorry but going to be away to visit relatives that day, I can see you any other day in that week apart from christmas day and 27th.

Client: how about the day after boxing day :FF

(day after boxing day=27th)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: WelshieGirly on 05 December 2012, 02:34:35 pm
Hi babe,

Looking great in your profile pics!

I'd love to book an hour with you, but I'm married and dont want to cheat on my wife. Would it be OK if I wank while I watch you strip and play with yourself instead? Maybe ending with me cumming on you (if you like that)?

Really looking forward to hearing from you.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 05 December 2012, 03:17:48 pm
Quote from: wg on 05 December 2012, 02:34:35 pm
Hi babe,

Looking great in your profile pics!

I'd love to book an hour with you, but I'm married and dont want to cheat on my wife. Would it be OK if I wank while I watch you strip and play with yourself instead? Maybe ending with me cumming on you (if you like that)?

Really looking forward to hearing from you.

I don't see a problem with this :) Quite a few men don't want the full penetration/GFE experience.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimmy on 05 December 2012, 03:25:38 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 05 December 2012, 03:17:48 pm
Quote from: wg on 05 December 2012, 02:34:35 pm
Hi babe,

Looking great in your profile pics!

I'd love to book an hour with you, but I'm married and dont want to cheat on my wife. Would it be OK if I wank while I watch you strip and play with yourself instead? Maybe ending with me cumming on you (if you like that)?

Really looking forward to hearing from you.

I don't see a problem with this :) Quite a few men don't want the full penetration/GFE experience.

I think the funny and stupid thing about it is he says he doesnt want to cheat on his wife, yet he wants to meet another woman, wank over and then cum on her

thats cheating in mine (and probably his wifes!) opinion xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 05 December 2012, 03:36:20 pm
Quote from: Kimmy on 05 December 2012, 03:25:38 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 05 December 2012, 03:17:48 pm
Quote from: wg on 05 December 2012, 02:34:35 pm
Hi babe,

Looking great in your profile pics!

I'd love to book an hour with you, but I'm married and dont want to cheat on my wife. Would it be OK if I wank while I watch you strip and play with yourself instead? Maybe ending with me cumming on you (if you like that)?

Really looking forward to hearing from you.

I don't see a problem with this :) Quite a few men don't want the full penetration/GFE experience.

I think the funny and stupid thing about it is he says he doesnt want to cheat on his wife, yet he wants to meet another woman, wank over and then cum on her

thats cheating in mine (and probably his wifes!) opinion xxx

Some men do have this approach and so long as it's what they are comfortable with I have no problem. Whether or not it's considered cheating is his and his wife's concern, not mine.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 05 December 2012, 06:31:42 pm
I had a belter today ladies.

He booked me last night via AW at 5pm, everything was confirmed and he was given my postcode for 10.30 this morning.

Anywhoo 10.45 arrived and no show so i texted "i doubt you have any intention of showing up"  His response "no idea who this is" I responded with that he had booked me via AW last night for 10.30am this morning.  Anywhoo he responded with "no idea what AW is or who you are or anything about an appointment."

Had enough left him negative feedback stating that apparently the phone number left is not that of the registered person but of someone who has no idea what aw is bla bla bla and that he was a no show.

I then got a negative feedback from him stating that apparently he had shown up to my house and in his words "Turned up at the address to find disco lights flashing and a party in full swing! Not my scene so left without going through with the booking." Lol anyway he must be psychic as the postcode i give clients is for 2 streets away and if he was the person at the other end of the phone then he had no intention of showing up.

Requested aw remove the ridiculous feedback and they refused.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 05 December 2012, 06:46:14 pm
Quote from: wg on 05 December 2012, 02:34:35 pm
Hi babe,

Looking great in your profile pics!

I'd love to book an hour with you, but I'm married and dont want to cheat on my wife. Would it be OK if I wank while I watch you strip and play with yourself instead? Maybe ending with me cumming on you (if you like that)?

Really looking forward to hearing from you.
Ive had this before! It's fun and easy:)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 05 December 2012, 07:01:40 pm
I dont think the wife would see it as not cheating. ROFL.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 05 December 2012, 07:11:00 pm
I have no problem with a booking like this, in fact quite like them  ;D

It's not my concern if he is married, engaged, single or whatever!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 05 December 2012, 08:49:42 pm
Quote from: Fluffy Bunny on 05 December 2012, 06:31:42 pm
I had a belter today ladies.

He booked me last night via AW at 5pm, everything was confirmed and he was given my postcode for 10.30 this morning.

Anywhoo 10.45 arrived and no show so i texted "i doubt you have any intention of showing up"  His response "no idea who this is" I responded with that he had booked me via AW last night for 10.30am this morning.  Anywhoo he responded with "no idea what AW is or who you are or anything about an appointment."

Had enough left him negative feedback stating that apparently the phone number left is not that of the registered person but of someone who has no idea what aw is bla bla bla and that he was a no show.

I then got a negative feedback from him stating that apparently he had shown up to my house and in his words "Turned up at the address to find disco lights flashing and a party in full swing! Not my scene so left without going through with the booking." Lol anyway he must be psychic as the postcode i give clients is for 2 streets away and if he was the person at the other end of the phone then he had no intention of showing up.

Requested aw remove the ridiculous feedback and they refused.

Idiot:-(
I think you should put a timewaster post about him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 06 December 2012, 12:52:18 am
Quote from: Fluffy Bunny on 05 December 2012, 06:31:42 pm
I had a belter today ladies.

He booked me last night via AW at 5pm, everything was confirmed and he was given my postcode for 10.30 this morning.

Anywhoo 10.45 arrived and no show so i texted "i doubt you have any intention of showing up"  His response "no idea who this is" I responded with that he had booked me via AW last night for 10.30am this morning.  Anywhoo he responded with "no idea what AW is or who you are or anything about an appointment."

Had enough left him negative feedback stating that apparently the phone number left is not that of the registered person but of someone who has no idea what aw is bla bla bla and that he was a no show.

I then got a negative feedback from him stating that apparently he had shown up to my house and in his words "Turned up at the address to find disco lights flashing and a party in full swing! Not my scene so left without going through with the booking." Lol anyway he must be psychic as the postcode i give clients is for 2 streets away and if he was the person at the other end of the phone then he had no intention of showing up.

Requested aw remove the ridiculous feedback and they refused.
I saw your blog on this.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xbbwkimx on 06 December 2012, 11:21:06 am
From:    lifestooshort (0) Profile Notes  View All
Subject:    Regular

Hi - good to see you the other day - I enjoyed it!

I was thinking - I have a lady I have used for ages and call her when I am going to be passing. You live in a more convenient place and I pass through Lutterworth more often

She just usually sucks me off as she has a bloke now and has gone a bit boring!!

I can't afford your ?50 though - if it is a regular thing and could be as quick or slow as you like. I would be happy to fist and eat your pussy again any time or just have a quick blow job

What do you think?

Terry x
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: WelshieGirly on 06 December 2012, 11:37:25 am
I'm 34 and six foot tall with rugby player build and 8" penis, I'd love to meet you, when are you available xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 06 December 2012, 12:21:53 pm
Quote from: xbbwkimx on 06 December 2012, 11:21:06 am
From:    lifestooshort (0) Profile Notes  View All
Subject:    Regular

Hi - good to see you the other day - I enjoyed it!

I was thinking - I have a lady I have used for ages and call her when I am going to be passing. You live in a more convenient place and I pass through Lutterworth more often

She just usually sucks me off as she has a bloke now and has gone a bit boring!!

I can't afford your ?50 though - if it is a regular thing and could be as quick or slow as you like. I would be happy to fist and eat your pussy again any time or just have a quick blow job

What do you think?

Terry x

Urgh. He's seen you once and thinks he can take liberties. I would block him from future bookings, if he can't afford "your" ?50, he can't afford YOU.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xbbwkimx on 06 December 2012, 12:35:23 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 06 December 2012, 12:21:53 pm
Quote from: xbbwkimx on 06 December 2012, 11:21:06 am
From:    lifestooshort (0) Profile Notes  View All
Subject:    Regular

Hi - good to see you the other day - I enjoyed it!

I was thinking - I have a lady I have used for ages and call her when I am going to be passing. You live in a more convenient place and I pass through Lutterworth more often

She just usually sucks me off as she has a bloke now and has gone a bit boring!!

I can't afford your ?50 though - if it is a regular thing and could be as quick or slow as you like. I would be happy to fist and eat your pussy again any time or just have a quick blow job

What do you think?

Terry x

Urgh. He's seen you once and thinks he can take liberties. I would block him from future bookings, if he can't afford "your" ?50, he can't afford YOU.

he was the one who emailed me who kept pushing, he only wanted a quicky, but he cut me inside, and hurt me alot. he wouldnt stop when i told him he was hurting me, so no way on this earth id ever see him again.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 06 December 2012, 01:00:24 pm
Quote from: xbbwkimx on 06 December 2012, 12:35:23 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 06 December 2012, 12:21:53 pm
Quote from: xbbwkimx on 06 December 2012, 11:21:06 am
From:    lifestooshort (0) Profile Notes  View All
Subject:    Regular

Hi - good to see you the other day - I enjoyed it!

I was thinking - I have a lady I have used for ages and call her when I am going to be passing. You live in a more convenient place and I pass through Lutterworth more often

She just usually sucks me off as she has a bloke now and has gone a bit boring!!

I can't afford your ?50 though - if it is a regular thing and could be as quick or slow as you like. I would be happy to fist and eat your pussy again any time or just have a quick blow job

What do you think?

Terry x

Urgh. He's seen you once and thinks he can take liberties. I would block him from future bookings, if he can't afford "your" ?50, he can't afford YOU.

he was the one who emailed me who kept pushing, he only wanted a quicky, but he cut me inside, and hurt me alot. he wouldnt stop when i told him he was hurting me, so no way on this earth id ever see him again.

Oooh, I am wincing!! Cut you inside? :o Yuck!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 06 December 2012, 01:34:10 pm

   I can't afford to spend time with you but I can afford to buy you a nice cappuccino and to give you a nice massage:)
   free of charge
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 06 December 2012, 01:34:15 pm
Quote from: wg on 06 December 2012, 11:37:25 am
I'm 34 and six foot tall with rugby player build and 8" penis, I'd love to meet you, when are you available xx

You lucky girl! Such a classic, isn't it? ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 06 December 2012, 01:50:09 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 06 December 2012, 01:00:24 pm
Quote from: xbbwkimx on 06 December 2012, 12:35:23 pm
he was the one who emailed me who kept pushing, he only wanted a quicky, but he cut me inside, and hurt me alot. he wouldnt stop when i told him he was hurting me, so no way on this earth id ever see him again.

Oooh, I am wincing!! Cut you inside? :o Yuck!

Indeed. Kim, you know you can warn others about this? If he's not seeing you then he's going to move straight on to the next lady and do exactly the same thing - please do post a thread in Warnings to alert nearby folk who might be affected (although please read the posting rules first). You can also report this into National Ugly Mugs and it will go on proper record then in the event that his behaviour escalates :).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 06 December 2012, 02:14:02 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 06 December 2012, 01:00:24 pm
Quote from: xbbwkimx on 06 December 2012, 12:35:23 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 06 December 2012, 12:21:53 pm
Quote from: xbbwkimx on 06 December 2012, 11:21:06 am
From:    lifestooshort (0) Profile Notes  View All
Subject:    Regular

Hi - good to see you the other day - I enjoyed it!

I was thinking - I have a lady I have used for ages and call her when I am going to be passing. You live in a more convenient place and I pass through Lutterworth more often

She just usually sucks me off as she has a bloke now and has gone a bit boring!!

I can't afford your ?50 though - if it is a regular thing and could be as quick or slow as you like. I would be happy to fist and eat your pussy again any time or just have a quick blow job

What do you think?

Terry x

Urgh. He's seen you once and thinks he can take liberties. I would block him from future bookings, if he can't afford "your" ?50, he can't afford YOU.

he was the one who emailed me who kept pushing, he only wanted a quicky, but he cut me inside, and hurt me alot. he wouldnt stop when i told him he was hurting me, so no way on this earth id ever see him again.

Oooh, I am wincing!! Cut you inside? :o Yuck!

I would certainly be posting a warning but am I reading right that you allowed him to fist you? I know we're all different but if you are offering this as a service I would seriously reconsider! Especially after being cut inside!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xbbwkimx on 06 December 2012, 04:01:57 pm
Quote from: DianaMurphy on 06 December 2012, 02:14:02 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 06 December 2012, 01:00:24 pm
Quote from: xbbwkimx on 06 December 2012, 12:35:23 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 06 December 2012, 12:21:53 pm
Quote from: xbbwkimx on 06 December 2012, 11:21:06 am
From:    lifestooshort (0) Profile Notes  View All
Subject:    Regular

Hi - good to see you the other day - I enjoyed it!

I was thinking - I have a lady I have used for ages and call her when I am going to be passing. You live in a more convenient place and I pass through Lutterworth more often

She just usually sucks me off as she has a bloke now and has gone a bit boring!!

I can't afford your ?50 though - if it is a regular thing and could be as quick or slow as you like. I would be happy to fist and eat your pussy again any time or just have a quick blow job

What do you think?

Terry x

Urgh. He's seen you once and thinks he can take liberties. I would block him from future bookings, if he can't afford "your" ?50, he can't afford YOU.

he was the one who emailed me who kept pushing, he only wanted a quicky, but he cut me inside, and hurt me alot. he wouldnt stop when i told him he was hurting me, so no way on this earth id ever see him again.

Oooh, I am wincing!! Cut you inside? :o Yuck!

I would certainly be posting a warning but am I reading right that you allowed him to fist you? I know we're all different but if you are offering this as a service I would seriously reconsider! Especially after being cut inside!

 no i dont offer it, thats what he was trying to do which hurt me and wouldnt stop.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimmy on 06 December 2012, 04:14:22 pm
Quote from: Fluffy Bunny on 05 December 2012, 06:31:42 pm
I had a belter today ladies.

He booked me last night via AW at 5pm, everything was confirmed and he was given my postcode for 10.30 this morning.

Anywhoo 10.45 arrived and no show so i texted "i doubt you have any intention of showing up"  His response "no idea who this is" I responded with that he had booked me via AW last night for 10.30am this morning.  Anywhoo he responded with "no idea what AW is or who you are or anything about an appointment."

Had enough left him negative feedback stating that apparently the phone number left is not that of the registered person but of someone who has no idea what aw is bla bla bla and that he was a no show.

I then got a negative feedback from him stating that apparently he had shown up to my house and in his words "Turned up at the address to find disco lights flashing and a party in full swing! Not my scene so left without going through with the booking." Lol anyway he must be psychic as the postcode i give clients is for 2 streets away and if he was the person at the other end of the phone then he had no intention of showing up.

Requested aw remove the ridiculous feedback and they refused.

I had something similar, a no show from liverpool who then wrote a review saying he'd turned up to acid house music blaring and loads of old people partying outside, which was absoloute rubbish as he never even came

complete weirdos  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 06 December 2012, 04:37:12 pm
Quote from: Fluffy Bunny on 05 December 2012, 06:31:42 pm
I had a belter today ladies.

He booked me last night via AW at 5pm, everything was confirmed and he was given my postcode for 10.30 this morning.

Anywhoo 10.45 arrived and no show so i texted "i doubt you have any intention of showing up"  His response "no idea who this is" I responded with that he had booked me via AW last night for 10.30am this morning.  Anywhoo he responded with "no idea what AW is or who you are or anything about an appointment."

Had enough left him negative feedback stating that apparently the phone number left is not that of the registered person but of someone who has no idea what aw is bla bla bla and that he was a no show.

I then got a negative feedback from him stating that apparently he had shown up to my house and in his words "Turned up at the address to find disco lights flashing and a party in full swing! Not my scene so left without going through with the booking." Lol anyway he must be psychic as the postcode i give clients is for 2 streets away and if he was the person at the other end of the phone then he had no intention of showing up.

Requested aw remove the ridiculous feedback and they refused.

I presume you didn't get him to text or phone to confirm the phone number?Guys can enter any number they like on the booking form, AW doesn't have any way to verify this and after being given a few false ones(purposely and some genuine typos) I won't use a phone number unless they've used it to contact me.

Did once have someone who did phone made a booking, then when he didn't show and I sent a text he made up some story about his phone being used by his 15 year old son(he did sound youngish on the phone but had said he'd be driving and asked for parking details). A few weeks tried to rebook and when I said "look you said this phone was being used by your son" he said he'd made it up because he'd been too nervous to go through with the booking.  I explained that unfortunately his mucking about meant I was highly unlikely to take his booking seriously, so best not to go ahead.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 06 December 2012, 05:44:23 pm
Oh it is his number he did confirm once the booking was scheduled in that is just the joke of it and then the following day deny who I was.  And then progressed to leave me such ridiculous feedback when he did not even have my address but just a postcode.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 06 December 2012, 06:15:21 pm
Quote from: Fluffy Bunny on 06 December 2012, 05:44:23 pm
Oh it is his number he did confirm once the booking was scheduled in that is just the joke of it and then the following day deny who I was.  And then progressed to leave me such ridiculous feedback when he did not even have my address but just a postcode.


I get people like that to trying to kid themselves to convince me. Yes they do that alright with so much stupidity. Most of the time I add straight to my reject list, or say you know what you do. I also know what you said. I used to argue the odd few times but now don't bother wasting my time with them unless they pay for my time. A clue is if the guys book who don't ask about my location is a time waster. So let them go, then add to my ignore list.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 06 December 2012, 08:53:09 pm
Quote from: xbbwkimx on 06 December 2012, 04:01:57 pm
Quote from: DianaMurphy on 06 December 2012, 02:14:02 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 06 December 2012, 01:00:24 pm
Quote from: xbbwkimx on 06 December 2012, 12:35:23 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 06 December 2012, 12:21:53 pm
Quote from: xbbwkimx on 06 December 2012, 11:21:06 am
From:    lifestooshort (0) Profile Notes  View All
Subject:    Regular

Hi - good to see you the other day - I enjoyed it!

I was thinking - I have a lady I have used for ages and call her when I am going to be passing. You live in a more convenient place and I pass through Lutterworth more often

She just usually sucks me off as she has a bloke now and has gone a bit boring!!

I can't afford your ?50 though - if it is a regular thing and could be as quick or slow as you like. I would be happy to fist and eat your pussy again any time or just have a quick blow job

What do you think?

Terry x

Urgh. He's seen you once and thinks he can take liberties. I would block him from future bookings, if he can't afford "your" ?50, he can't afford YOU.

he was the one who emailed me who kept pushing, he only wanted a quicky, but he cut me inside, and hurt me alot. he wouldnt stop when i told him he was hurting me, so no way on this earth id ever see him again.

Oooh, I am wincing!! Cut you inside? :o Yuck!

I would certainly be posting a warning but am I reading right that you allowed him to fist you? I know we're all different but if you are offering this as a service I would seriously reconsider! Especially after being cut inside!

 no i dont offer it, thats what he was trying to do which hurt me and wouldnt stop.

Then please do post a warning (if you haven't already, I haven't got that far down the forum yet). Anything that is done without your permission (or after you've said "no") is some form of assault (please someone who knows the law clarify what law he's breaking?).

As an aside - about a year after I had my second daughter, the guy I was seeing asked if he could try fisting me (vaginally). As he was only about 5 foot tall and very slim, and therefore had tiny hands, I agreed. He managed 4 fingers before I had that "giving birth" sensation and needed to throw up. Never again! :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 09 December 2012, 03:44:36 pm
spam from aw

'hiya, how are you?

i just had a look at your profile'


NO HE HASN'T as I don't offer anything even remotely like this

'and i would really like to meet up with
you. The problem is i do have a bit of an odd request, i would like to
tickle you. sounds strange i know, but i have a tickling fetish where i
enjoy tickling and being tickled by beautiful women.

so the questions i have are, firstly are you ticklish? secondly where are
your ticklish places? and thirdly would it be ok for me to do this?
obviously i completely understand if not, and i bear no grudge, but it
would be awfully nice to hear from you.

if you do not wish to be tickled for an extended period of time, perhaps
you could tickle me also if that would be ok? i am very ticklish

thanks very much for your time
love dickface x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 09 December 2012, 03:58:39 pm
The tickling fetish is quite  a popular one. Not one I would like to offer for I am very ticklish and wouldnt like anyone doing it to me but I wouldnt mind doing it to them, how double standard is that? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 09 December 2012, 04:04:03 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 09 December 2012, 03:58:39 pm
The tickling fetish is quite  a popular one. Not one I would like to offer for I am very ticklish and wouldnt like anyone doing it to me but I wouldnt mind doing it to them, how double standard is that? ::)

Tickling makes me go 'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhh!!!!'  ;D

and no drama with that as a fetish at all, it's just that my profile is clearly Dominatrix only, so it was pretty clear that he hadn't read it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 09 December 2012, 05:01:00 pm
Some one requested a tickling video once, so I made one - surprising amount of interest in it! People are a little odd.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 09 December 2012, 05:12:07 pm
I've had the tickling fetish request, plus I've had someone who mentioned tickling who I saw a few years ago phone back and start asking about it.

Now I don't mind answering enquiries re such things when it's "Hi Strawberry I'd really like to come see you and have a fetish for tickling, I'll explain when we meet I'm sure you'll be ok with it what do you think?" I'll respond something along the lines of "Sure could you just elucidate a little", "Yep would you mind if I suck your toes and tease you a little?", "No not at all". So we meet and he expands tells me more specifics and we have some fun.

What turns me off are the enquiries that are made in a long-winded, whiney voice, usually for some reason tends to be a southern accent that go on and on and want to ask exactly how ticklish are you, in much the same way guys who phone for a chat about their fantasy do.

Result is as soon as I hear tickling, or wrestling (another one) I turn right off. I have however met plenty of guys who have certain fetishes, they tend to make a quite check, turn up and do it rather than spend ages talking about it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 09 December 2012, 09:11:46 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 09 December 2012, 03:44:36 pm
spam from aw

'hiya, how are you?

i just had a look at your profile'


NO HE HASN'T as I don't offer anything even remotely like this

'and i would really like to meet up with
you. The problem is i do have a bit of an odd request, i would like to
tickle you. sounds strange i know, but i have a tickling fetish where i
enjoy tickling and being tickled by beautiful women.

so the questions i have are, firstly are you ticklish? secondly where are
your ticklish places? and thirdly would it be ok for me to do this?
obviously i completely understand if not, and i bear no grudge, but it
would be awfully nice to hear from you.

if you do not wish to be tickled for an extended period of time, perhaps
you could tickle me also if that would be ok? i am very ticklish

thanks very much for your time
love dickface x

This one, cut and paste, is doing the rounds
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sarahyorks on 09 December 2012, 09:54:42 pm
Quote from: pandora on 09 December 2012, 09:11:46 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 09 December 2012, 03:44:36 pm
spam from aw

'hiya, how are you?

i just had a look at your profile'


NO HE HASN'T as I don't offer anything even remotely like this

'and i would really like to meet up with
you. The problem is i do have a bit of an odd request, i would like to
tickle you. sounds strange i know, but i have a tickling fetish where i
enjoy tickling and being tickled by beautiful women.

so the questions i have are, firstly are you ticklish? secondly where are
your ticklish places? and thirdly would it be ok for me to do this?
obviously i completely understand if not, and i bear no grudge, but it
would be awfully nice to hear from you.

if you do not wish to be tickled for an extended period of time, perhaps
you could tickle me also if that would be ok? i am very ticklish

thanks very much for your time
love dickface x

This one, cut and paste, is doing the rounds


If this is who I think it is, he has threated to tie me to bed gag me and rape me then tickle me for hours on end. He also calls me a fat slag
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Foxing on 09 December 2012, 11:00:49 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 09 December 2012, 03:44:36 pm
spam from aw

'hiya, how are you?

i just had a look at your profile'


NO HE HASN'T as I don't offer anything even remotely like this

'and i would really like to meet up with
you. The problem is i do have a bit of an odd request, i would like to
tickle you. sounds strange i know, but i have a tickling fetish where i
enjoy tickling and being tickled by beautiful women.

so the questions i have are, firstly are you ticklish? secondly where are
your ticklish places? and thirdly would it be ok for me to do this?
obviously i completely understand if not, and i bear no grudge, but it
would be awfully nice to hear from you.

if you do not wish to be tickled for an extended period of time, perhaps
you could tickle me also if that would be ok? i am very ticklish

thanks very much for your time
love dickface x

Is he in London?

I have a tickling guy....;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 09 December 2012, 11:05:49 pm
I think "the ticklers" are all over the place.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wonderlass on 10 December 2012, 09:31:08 am
I've had that tickling one as well. I politely replied "no thanks" to the first email, then he sent another a couple of weeks later asking if I'd changed my mind yet so I blocked him. Oh, and he also tried to call me, just to make sure, so he's  blocked there as well now.  :FF

I think this (found on Twitter) might be an apt sig for just how much I loathe tickling. "I hate being tickled, I do not think it is cute, I do not find it funny, I will kick you in the fucking face."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 10 December 2012, 10:31:04 pm
I had some texts from a chap wanting to tickle my feet - I wonder if it is the same man, I ignored him after a couple of texts and he kept on going - unfortunately my phone doesn't have a block facility on it, it's not old it just doesn't have it on it for some reason!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 11 December 2012, 01:35:44 pm

Hello,
I love your bum and would love to rim you! One thing though- can I see a face pic please?
Xx
 
If he loves my bum so much, why would he want to see my face?  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 11 December 2012, 01:46:09 pm


...And these are the messages that especially irritate me (received today):

Hi sexy!
Are you available in the near future?
xx

What do they want me to do? List EVERY day and EVERY time that I am available to meet in the next 3 months??! Why can't they just say: "Hi, would like to book you for xx date at xx time for xx hours, I would like spanking and sex, thanks" ?? Or is that TOO easy? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Prinny on 11 December 2012, 02:38:11 pm
You sound really nice. Can we go on a date instead?

That's called an outcall. Add ?50 per hour to my incall fee.


I'm wondering how many girls you have on?

Only me.

Can my 3 friends come in and wait while I see you?

That'll be a no.

Why not?

My dog isn't keen on sharing his space with too many people, it makes him grumpy ;)


The ever offensive but still hilarious: Are you open?


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 11 December 2012, 05:26:55 pm
Quote from: Prinny on 11 December 2012, 02:38:11 pm
You sound really nice. Can we go on a date instead?

That's called an outcall. Add ?50 per hour to my incall fee.

Some people like dinner dates though. I love them so charge half my rate for dinner dates. I did one on Saturday night actually and it make a really nice change.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimmy on 11 December 2012, 05:57:18 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 11 December 2012, 01:46:09 pm


...And these are the messages that especially irritate me (received today):

Hi sexy!
Are you available in the near future?
xx

What do they want me to do? List EVERY day and EVERY time that I am available to meet in the next 3 months??! Why can't they just say: "Hi, would like to book you for xx date at xx time for xx hours, I would like spanking and sex, thanks" ?? Or is that TOO easy? ::)

I agree I too think these are the most irritating, along with 'Are you available *insert date 4 months from now*'

errr, how the hell am I supposed to know  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 11 December 2012, 06:48:31 pm
Quote from: Kimmy on 11 December 2012, 05:57:18 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 11 December 2012, 01:46:09 pm


...And these are the messages that especially irritate me (received today):

Hi sexy!
Are you available in the near future?
xx

What do they want me to do? List EVERY day and EVERY time that I am available to meet in the next 3 months??! Why can't they just say: "Hi, would like to book you for xx date at xx time for xx hours, I would like spanking and sex, thanks" ?? Or is that TOO easy? ::)

I agree I too think these are the most irritating, along with 'Are you available *insert date 4 months from now*'

errr, how the hell am I supposed to know  :FF

Or the usual "are you free" I usually respond with "no, if you look at my profile my rates are according to the time of appointment you would like" lol it really annoys them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Prinny on 11 December 2012, 09:57:23 pm
Quote from: MissKylie on 11 December 2012, 05:26:55 pm
Quote from: Prinny on 11 December 2012, 02:38:11 pm
You sound really nice. Can we go on a date instead?

That's called an outcall. Add ?50 per hour to my incall fee.

Some people like dinner dates though. I love them so charge half my rate for dinner dates. I did one on Saturday night actually and it make a really nice change.

I'm all for dinner dates, being paid to eat is wonderful but this was a request for a date of the non paid variety. I declined
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 12 December 2012, 12:48:12 am
Text just in 'When free?'

You have got to be kidding me...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Brown Eyed Girl on 12 December 2012, 01:08:35 am
Quote from: MissKylie on 12 December 2012, 12:48:12 am
Text just in 'When free?'

You have got to be kidding me...

Reply: "Never - I always charge"  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 12 December 2012, 02:13:06 pm
I kid you not ladies, I had several calls last week from an elderly gent requesting an outcall, originally booked for friday last week but had to cancel

 told me what he wanted to do, what he couldn't do etc

 he rang several times to confirm I would be able to see him this week, confirmed the fee, gave me the address ( of the sheltered accomodation he lives in), told me to call him this week on tuesday to arrange for wednesday or friday afternnon- I don't know why but I agreed, I couldn't get him yesterday so just rang and he said " oh I don't know about this, i'm not too well at the minute, it's christmas, funds are low...... ring me in the new year to see how I am"

I said " you ring me if you feel up to it"

this has got to be the oldest timewaster EVER???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: dee_licious on 12 December 2012, 08:33:11 pm
recieved text earlier this afternoon after i sent no on aw:
"hey slut thanks for your no. when are you free so can fuck the arse off you"
sent nice reply stating i do have a name not to be rude to which he replied wow your a grumpy bitch not putting my cock near you now.  :FF saved no under dickhead and left at that
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xbbwkimx on 13 December 2012, 09:16:10 am
The guy who hurt me messaged me asking it he can be my regular, once a week, for the princly sum of ?20.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 13 December 2012, 02:02:16 pm
Quote from: MissKylie on 11 December 2012, 05:26:55 pm
Quote from: Prinny on 11 December 2012, 02:38:11 pm
You sound really nice. Can we go on a date instead?

That's called an outcall. Add ?50 per hour to my incall fee.

Some people like dinner dates though. I love them so charge half my rate for dinner dates. I did one on Saturday night actually and it make a really nice change.


And there's the clue. Usually people asking for a dinner date are expecting it for free.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 18 December 2012, 08:40:29 pm
Subject: proposition
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Greetings, I must say I am very glad that my gaze has met your virtual
representation.

Im Steven , 27 year old from Lanarkshire- im a young professional with a
stable income seeking a once a month arrangement with a local lady. I am
looking for something really regular once per month.


I am actually in a relationship, and although I can afford to pay full
fee's I cannot discreetly hide large amounts of money each month. I am
looking to pay around ?50 every month for a humiliation session. Again I
do not aim to offend at all- but I cannot risk my relationship.I would pay
this every month. I enjoy basicaly being dominated and humiliated- I hope
you can cater for this.

I can also subsidies my smaller payment by working for you in other ways.
I can create websites- and am a keen photographer/videographer. I know you
may hear this alot, but i have a lighting kit and a first class
photography degree- which I can display on meeting. Again I hope this
doesn't offend.

I really hope you may consider this, as your exactly what I am seeking
looks wise. Please reply even if it's a no as this email has taken a lot
of effort.

Kind regards,

Steven.

I dont think this requires explaining just like it didn't require a response!  :FF

Yes well done Steven, that was quite alot of effort to insult me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 18 December 2012, 08:47:44 pm
Quote from: Friday on 18 December 2012, 08:40:29 pm
Subject: proposition
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Greetings, I must say I am very glad that my gaze has met your virtual
representation.

Im Steven , 27 year old from Lanarkshire- im a young professional with a
stable income seeking a once a month arrangement with a local lady. I am
looking for something really regular once per month.


I am actually in a relationship, and although I can afford to pay full
fee's I cannot discreetly hide large amounts of money each month. I am
looking to pay around ?50 every month for a humiliation session. Again I
do not aim to offend at all- but I cannot risk my relationship.I would pay
this every month. I enjoy basicaly being dominated and humiliated- I hope
you can cater for this.

I can also subsidies my smaller payment by working for you in other ways.
I can create websites- and am a keen photographer/videographer. I know you
may hear this alot, but i have a lighting kit and a first class
photography degree- which I can display on meeting. Again I hope this
doesn't offend.

I really hope you may consider this, as your exactly what I am seeking
looks wise. Please reply even if it's a no as this email has taken a lot
of effort.

Kind regards,

Steven.

I dont think this requires explaining just like it didn't require a response!  :FF

Yes well done Steven, that was quite alot of effort to insult me!

This email has been circulating (ie he's sent it to many, many ladies) for some time now, think I received mine a month or two ago. It's a cut and paste job so don't think it's taken very much effort at all.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 18 December 2012, 08:56:40 pm
yeah i noticed his client notes are rather full... ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 18 December 2012, 09:32:55 pm
Quote from: Prinny on 11 December 2012, 02:38:11 pm
You sound really nice. Can we go on a date instead?

That's called an outcall. Add ?50 per hour to my incall fee.


I'm wondering how many girls you have on?

Only me.

Can my 3 friends come in and wait while I see you?

That'll be a no.

Why not?

lol send him to me i have seven dogs  including  six french mastiffs ( from the film turner and hooch ) seriously grumpy and slobbers i even named one Hooker so he can spend time with him if he so wishes

My dog isn't keen on sharing his space with too many people, it makes him grumpy ;)


The ever offensive but still hilarious: Are you open?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 18 December 2012, 10:38:52 pm
I had this delightful text

"want to fuck"

I was feeling a bit cheesed off and asked him if that's how he thought he would get to see me he said .................. yeah, how else would I get an appt??  :FF  :FF  :FF  :FF   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 19 December 2012, 02:43:23 am
Quote from: reneesme on 18 December 2012, 10:38:52 pm
I had this delightful text

"want to fuck"

I was feeling a bit cheesed off and asked him if that's how he thought he would get to see me he said .................. yeah, how else would I get an appt??  :FF  :FF  :FF  :FF   :FF


HA!! File him under "fuckwit"  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lucyjuicy on 19 December 2012, 08:42:06 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 19 December 2012, 02:43:23 am
Quote from: reneesme on 18 December 2012, 10:38:52 pm
I had this delightful text

"want to fuck"

I was feeling a bit cheesed off and asked him if that's how he thought he would get to see me he said .................. yeah, how else would I get an appt??  :FF  :FF  :FF  :FF   :FF


HA!! File him under "fuckwit"  >:(

Surely under "fuckwant"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 19 December 2012, 08:28:50 pm
Once had this message.. (considering I don't even offer anal or anything anal-related it was a bit of a surprise):

"Hi, Im ---. Im -- and looking for full extreme 2 way hardsports. This is a service where you would shit direct into my mouth and I shit direct into your mouth. We would chew and swallow each others shit and cover our bodies in it. I am upfront as I dont want to waste your time. I love hardsports and would like to meet someone who will try it even if it takes a few goes. If you are curious, we can chat and I can show u clips on the internet of it. Or if u r willing to meet, please email me back here, or on -----------------@h-----.co.uk or call/txt me on ---------------------. "

Not the worst message ever but certainly a very disgusting thought for a vanilla girl like me! :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 19 December 2012, 08:51:36 pm
Quote from: chloe_ on 19 December 2012, 08:28:50 pm
Once had this message.. (considering I don't even offer anal or anything anal-related it was a bit of a surprise):

"Hi, Im ---. Im -- and looking for full extreme 2 way hardsports. This is a service where you would shit direct into my mouth and I shit direct into your mouth. We would chew and swallow each others shit and cover our bodies in it. I am upfront as I dont want to waste your time. I love hardsports and would like to meet someone who will try it even if it takes a few goes. If you are curious, we can chat and I can show u clips on the internet of it. Or if u r willing to meet, please email me back here, or on -----------------@h-----.co.uk or call/txt me on ---------------------. "

Not the worst message ever but certainly a very disgusting thought for a vanilla girl like me! :P

Yuck! Not sure hardsports comes in the same category as anal but it certainly comes under the 'likes' of hardsports! I think guys like this are looking for a response more than a booking!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: WelshieGirly on 20 December 2012, 08:51:00 am
Jail? Six Hours?

hey might be easier if i say what am looking for i have just got out of jail today after being in for 10 months for nothing major though.. but i have had a fantasy all the way through and i would love it to come real i am looking to come to someones house on a morning and be invited in were i get the kiss of a life time as you lead me through to the bedroom, then after stripping me of u push me flat on my back and fuck me, now this will be over pretty quick as i have just got out today after a long ten months, now this is were it gets naughty i want u not to be happy and tie me to your be were you push a viagra down my mouth till i swallow it then use my body everyway you can imagine for the next 6 hours r so, using my body to see to your own needs over and over again for a good six hours..

does this sound like something you would be up for ??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lucyjuicy on 20 December 2012, 12:28:00 pm
Quote from: wg on 20 December 2012, 08:51:00 am
Jail? Six Hours?

hey might be easier if i say what am looking for i have just got out of jail today after being in for 10 months for nothing major though.. but i have had a fantasy all the way through and i would love it to come real i am looking to come to someones house on a morning and be invited in were i get the kiss of a life time as you lead me through to the bedroom, then after stripping me of u push me flat on my back and fuck me, now this will be over pretty quick as i have just got out today after a long ten months, now this is were it gets naughty i want u not to be happy and tie me to your be were you push a viagra down my mouth till i swallow it then use my body everyway you can imagine for the next 6 hours r so, using my body to see to your own needs over and over again for a good six hours..

does this sound like something you would be up for ??

God, 6 hours of my needs ! Thats like a years worth
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 20 December 2012, 02:36:35 pm
Quote from: lucyjuicy on 20 December 2012, 12:28:00 pm
Quote from: wg on 20 December 2012, 08:51:00 am
Jail? Six Hours?

hey might be easier if i say what am looking for i have just got out of jail today after being in for 10 months for nothing major though.. but i have had a fantasy all the way through and i would love it to come real i am looking to come to someones house on a morning and be invited in were i get the kiss of a life time as you lead me through to the bedroom, then after stripping me of u push me flat on my back and fuck me, now this will be over pretty quick as i have just got out today after a long ten months, now this is were it gets naughty i want u not to be happy and tie me to your be were you push a viagra down my mouth till i swallow it then use my body everyway you can imagine for the next 6 hours r so, using my body to see to your own needs over and over again for a good six hours..

does this sound like something you would be up for ??

God, 6 hours of my needs ! Thats like a years worth
Yes because he really just got out of prison and had time to go straight on adultwork and sign up! Bullshit. Does he not think you might not actually want to see someone who has been in prison anyway?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 20 December 2012, 02:40:46 pm
Quote from: wg on 20 December 2012, 08:51:00 am
Jail? Six Hours?

hey might be easier if i say what am looking for i have just got out of jail today after being in for 10 months for nothing major though.. but i have had a fantasy all the way through and i would love it to come real i am looking to come to someones house on a morning and be invited in were i get the kiss of a life time as you lead me through to the bedroom, then after stripping me of u push me flat on my back and fuck me, now this will be over pretty quick as i have just got out today after a long ten months, now this is were it gets naughty i want u not to be happy and tie me to your be were you push a viagra down my mouth till i swallow it then use my body everyway you can imagine for the next 6 hours r so, using my body to see to your own needs over and over again for a good six hours..

does this sound like something you would be up for ??


I know we are not suppose to discriminate but a six hour booking with someone just out of prison? I'd rather cut my throat. I couldn't put up with 2 hours with the normal goody two shoe client let alone someone that has been locked up. :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 20 December 2012, 03:22:16 pm
If anyone is after some bedtime reading you might be interested in this one, although I doubt it!! A clear copy and paste job and going by his feedback one that has worked for him several times over! Sadly I didn't have the energy to read the full story...  ::) I did note that he clearly didn't remember to change the day in his copy and paste job though seeing as he wanted to see me tomorrow, not Thursday, yawn!!!

Quote
I have included my role play which I hope will excite you?
I thought this may give you some fun & a chance to add Yourself into the story?

I understand this will not happen word for word or move for move as this has to be you in a role which you feel comfortable and where your interpretation may help me as it stimulates, excites and satisfies you during the time we share?

May I ask that you are wearing a dress or skirt & blouse without a bra & long gloves(PVC/leather) if you have them?
Also may I ask that your dress/skirt is long enough to cover to the top of your thigh long leather boots, stockings but no knickers?

You are expecting your fuck toy today to use & abuse for your satisfaction to relieve your frustrations before you have to attend an important business meeting. So you have dressed more formally for your meeting as your fuck toy is not worth the effort.

I knock your door as the electrician who you booked weeks ago to check your floor sockets & you have forgotten today was that day.

You greet me at the door, quickly ushering me in you check that your dress/skirt has covered your boots & you leave me to call you fuck toy to find out where he is? I am watching you but you do not see me.

You are feeling really horny & when he answers the phone you start to tease him on the phone by telling him to listen as you describe what you are wearing, turning you on further you place your hand inside your dress/blouse & caress your breasts and squeeze your nipples.
As you feel wet you raise your booted foot onto a chair and start to rub your hands up your boots, lifting your dress/skirt you start to stroke and finger your pussy whilst telling him how you are going to use him & fuck him to satisfy yourself this morning. Sucking your pussy juice from your fingers as your getting wetter as you play.
As you got involved on the phone you had forgotten that I am in your house and I am watching everything.

Your fuck toy says he cannot come over to you today you, leaving you feeling very frustrated & extremely horny you slam the phone down.
Picking up a dildo which was by the phone you need to play with your pussy pushing your dildo deep into your pussy whilst you are thinking how can you get your frustration relieved before going out to the meeting?
The dildo helps but does not relieve the frustration you need to have a toy to command!
You need to play with someone but who?

You had sensed me watching you and you think a fresh new fuck toy for your collection will be useful, but how are you going to get to abuse me this morning; but you love the challenge.

Adjusting yourself you return to the room still thinking how you are going to tease me and catch me so you can take full control of me, breaking me in and abusing me for your satisfaction as your new fuck toy.

First you need to ensure I have a cock which is worthy of your precious time but you need to asset it as whether you can use it for your pleasure.

So you tell me to stand at the wall facing you, you want to search me for concealed weapons as you are a vulnerable woman alone in the house. You start to run your hands over my face, slapping me as you reach my chest and pause at my waist. You now pass your hands in turn over my cock as you squeeze it growing as you smile; it?s started you have a new toy to break in.

Not satisfied you step back and place your hands on my shoulders for support staring into my eyes & smile as you learn into me and raise your booted knee into my cock and rub you boots up & down my cock, this thrills you knowing how your boots feels over a swelling cock, repeating several times with both your booted legs smiling as your new fuck toy gets used to your booted needs.

You now step back and support yourself as you raise your booted foot & kick my cock several times with each foot to make sure you are satisfied that the cock is getting hard enough.
You now step forward & run your hand down past my waist as you grasp and squeeze my cock as you bring your booted knee up into my cock and smile.

Spitting in my face with disgust you tell me to open my mouth as you spit onto my tongue telling me to taste you, now offering a pussy juiced glove finger, I lick as commanded.

You walk away and sit on a chair with your legs crossed showing your boots, you tell me to come closer to work and point with your boots at a pretend socket on the floor in front of your chair.

You really get turned on wearing your boots so have to stand over me, you now kick me with your boots out of the way as you walk very slowly over me with your boots ensuring that you have given enough time for me to look up your dress at your wet pussy as you fetch a drink.
Returning you slowly walk over me with again with your boots to your seat making sure I have had the another chance to see your pussy beneath your dress.
Resting your boots on me you start to rub your soles over me telling me that if I do not do everything you command you will call my boss to sack me for looking up a customer?s dress.

You now part your thighs, stroking your pussy with your fingers you play with yourself, pushing your fingers into your wet pussy and then lick them in front of me.

You get impatient with me for not showing any reaction, standing over me again you present me your booted heel which you slide this into my mouth telling me to suck it like a cock. After offering me your other heel you tell me kneel before, you push open my legs with your boots you use my groin as a boot polish mat.

Having a new toy kneeling at your booted feet makes you quiver, you now slide you hand up & down your pussy, pushing your fingers into your wet pussy once again, telling me to open my mouth to clean/taste your fingers, doing this several times as you get wetter knowing what fun you are about to have.
Clearly I am unable to do this to your satisfaction, kicking me to the floor you start rubbing your boots in my groin. You feel the hardness of my cock beneath your boot & smile as you apply more pressure and then trample the rest of me.

After trampling me for showing you no respect, you pin me on the floor standing over my face I look up your skirt along your boots as you lower yourself over my face. Demanding I lick you to make you cum, you push and grind your pussy into my mouth telling me to tongue fuck you until you are satisfied gushing over my face I lick you clean.

You stand and command me to follow you to the bed, telling me to strip; you play with my cock before pushing me on the bed face down, you then show me your strap on.
You lube and finger my arse and then slide your strap on into me and fuck me with for what seems an age telling me to watch in the mirror as you slide in and out of me with various lengths.
You now turn me over on my back & lift my legs and you fuck me again and again with your strap on.

After finishing with me you remove your strap on & sit back on my face telling me to lick your wet pussy & clean you after fucking me.
Whilst sitting on my face you checks that my cock is still hard, sucking if you see fit as you prepare to straddle me to use me for your own fun.
I guess this would take an hour, I do hope we could have some fun with this?
I am sorry for the war & peace email lol!
Please let me know if this is something you would enjoy & email me with your thoughts for an appointment on Thursday?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 20 December 2012, 04:28:45 pm
Jesus Diana, I would need a week off work to read the whole of that one.  I think I managed the first paragraph before I got bored.

I had a corker today, he had to be irish, you wouldnt believe it.

He is bored with sex with his wife and looking for a little excitement hence wanting to visit a WG.  But little johnnie might not work.

Oh Im sure we can get him going I says.  But what if you cant, he asks.  Well we can try our best.  Oh but would I still have to pay if I didnt/couldnt cum.  Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I says, if you go to work for an hour would you expect to get paid, of course he says, but I would be working .................. and you think Im not Paddy ?? :FF :FF :FF 

Home Saturday morning thank goodness. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 20 December 2012, 04:57:09 pm
Quote from: lucyjuicy on 20 December 2012, 12:28:00 pm
Quote from: wg on 20 December 2012, 08:51:00 am
Jail? Six Hours?

hey might be easier if i say what am looking for i have just got out of jail today after being in for 10 months for nothing major though.. but i have had a fantasy all the way through and i would love it to come real i am looking to come to someones house on a morning and be invited in were i get the kiss of a life time as you lead me through to the bedroom, then after stripping me of u push me flat on my back and fuck me, now this will be over pretty quick as i have just got out today after a long ten months, now this is were it gets naughty i want u not to be happy and tie me to your be were you push a viagra down my mouth till i swallow it then use my body everyway you can imagine for the next 6 hours r so, using my body to see to your own needs over and over again for a good six hours..

does this sound like something you would be up for ??

God, 6 hours of my needs ! Thats like a years worth

I would tie him up and use him as an occasional table while I had my friends round for DVD & popcorn night*. I'm a bit short on tables, you see, and he did say he wanted you to use his "body to see to your own needs" - I need a table, he can be my table.

* (not really. But the thought amused me.)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 20 December 2012, 07:34:59 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 20 December 2012, 04:28:45 pm
Jesus Diana, I would need a week off work to read the whole of that one.  I think I managed the first paragraph before I got bored.

I had a corker today, he had to be irish, you wouldnt believe it.

He is bored with sex with his wife and looking for a little excitement hence wanting to visit a WG.  But little johnnie might not work.

Oh Im sure we can get him going I says.  But what if you cant, he asks.  Well we can try our best.  Oh but would I still have to pay if I didnt/couldnt cum.  Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I says, if you go to work for an hour would you expect to get paid, of course he says, but I would be working .................. and you think Im not Paddy ?? :FF :FF :FF 

Home Saturday morning thank goodness.

Men eh? LOL! My tolerance levels are low again today I'm afraid! Even refused to extend an appointment this morning for more money as I'd had enough of his young enthusiasm and being told I'm f'in mint!  ::) Tomorrow's two prebooked appointments don't fill me full of delight either already but hey ho! LOL! I've made mince pies as a special festive treat for my visitors to enjoy, all in the spirit etc!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 20 December 2012, 08:44:03 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 20 December 2012, 04:57:09 pm
Quote from: lucyjuicy on 20 December 2012, 12:28:00 pm
Quote from: wg on 20 December 2012, 08:51:00 am
Jail? Six Hours?

hey might be easier if i say what am looking for i have just got out of jail today after being in for 10 months for nothing major though.. but i have had a fantasy all the way through and i would love it to come real i am looking to come to someones house on a morning and be invited in were i get the kiss of a life time as you lead me through to the bedroom, then after stripping me of u push me flat on my back and fuck me, now this will be over pretty quick as i have just got out today after a long ten months, now this is were it gets naughty i want u not to be happy and tie me to your be were you push a viagra down my mouth till i swallow it then use my body everyway you can imagine for the next 6 hours r so, using my body to see to your own needs over and over again for a good six hours..

does this sound like something you would be up for ??

God, 6 hours of my needs ! Thats like a years worth

I would tie him up and use him as an occasional table while I had my friends round for DVD & popcorn night*. I'm a bit short on tables, you see, and he did say he wanted you to use his "body to see to your own needs" - I need a table, he can be my table.

* (not really. But the thought amused me.)


The only use i'd have for him is pin the tail on the donkey. I already have an occasional table. We'd use a huge dildo instead of a pin though and call it ram the donkey. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 20 December 2012, 09:45:47 pm
Quote from: Jan10 on 20 December 2012, 08:44:03 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 20 December 2012, 04:57:09 pm
Quote from: lucyjuicy on 20 December 2012, 12:28:00 pm
Quote from: wg on 20 December 2012, 08:51:00 am
Jail? Six Hours?

hey might be easier if i say what am looking for i have just got out of jail today after being in for 10 months for nothing major though.. but i have had a fantasy all the way through and i would love it to come real i am looking to come to someones house on a morning and be invited in were i get the kiss of a life time as you lead me through to the bedroom, then after stripping me of u push me flat on my back and fuck me, now this will be over pretty quick as i have just got out today after a long ten months, now this is were it gets naughty i want u not to be happy and tie me to your be were you push a viagra down my mouth till i swallow it then use my body everyway you can imagine for the next 6 hours r so, using my body to see to your own needs over and over again for a good six hours..

does this sound like something you would be up for ??

God, 6 hours of my needs ! Thats like a years worth

I would tie him up and use him as an occasional table while I had my friends round for DVD & popcorn night*. I'm a bit short on tables, you see, and he did say he wanted you to use his "body to see to your own needs" - I need a table, he can be my table.

* (not really. But the thought amused me.)


The only use i'd have for him is pin the tail on the donkey. I already have an occasional table. We'd use a huge dildo instead of a pin though and call it ram the donkey. ;D

Well, it is Christmas, after all.... ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 21 December 2012, 12:18:19 am
Hmmm have any of you found that a lot of loney hearts have come out... I have had two date requests as in "I can show you a good time, nudge nudge wink wink"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 21 December 2012, 01:34:12 pm
Quote from: Fluffy Bunny on 21 December 2012, 12:18:19 am
Hmmm have any of you found that a lot of loney hearts have come out... I have had two date requests as in "I can show you a good time, nudge nudge wink wink"



I dont call them lonely hearts.  I call them desperados and they aint even good for a ride like the old desperado cowboys.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 21 December 2012, 06:33:00 pm
I had a guy call up and shout - 'YOU SINGLE?!' - down the phone at me... ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 21 December 2012, 11:41:23 pm
Text: Much a night?


????? eh? lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lunar Moon on 22 December 2012, 10:08:26 am
Had a text this morning :

'Will you Blackmail me?'

Mmmm new one on me a Blackmail fetish lol !!!  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wonderlass on 22 December 2012, 02:06:52 pm
Not sure if this counts as it's from the world of webcam but still...

Me: hiya
Douchebag: got 30 quid,wana book ya
Me: How about NO.
Douchebag: jus to eat u
Me: Look at my caring face.
Douchebag: jus to finger u, bottle of wine too
Douchebag leaves the room

...my heart, it is bleeding.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 22 December 2012, 04:13:03 pm
Quote from: wonderlass on 22 December 2012, 02:06:52 pm
Not sure if this counts as it's from the world of webcam but still...

Me: hiya
Douchebag: got 30 quid,wana book ya
Me: How about NO.
Douchebag: jus to eat u
Me: Look at my caring face.
Douchebag: jus to finger u, bottle of wine too
Douchebag leaves the room

...my heart, it is bleeding.

I would respond with "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, oh you were talking, how rude of me!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wonderlass on 22 December 2012, 05:02:57 pm
Quote from: Fluffy Bunny on 22 December 2012, 04:13:03 pm
Quote from: wonderlass on 22 December 2012, 02:06:52 pm
Not sure if this counts as it's from the world of webcam but still...

Me: hiya
Douchebag: got 30 quid,wana book ya
Me: How about NO.
Douchebag: jus to eat u
Me: Look at my caring face.
Douchebag: jus to finger u, bottle of wine too
Douchebag leaves the room

...my heart, it is bleeding.

I would respond with "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, oh you were talking, how rude of me!"

'Accidentally' perma-banned. I've had what feels like a million today.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 22 December 2012, 08:15:35 pm
Prat rang me today and  unfortunately I wasn't available for him. So he even had the cheek to ask me to email other escorts for him... But here's his dum reason. Apparently his email broke down. I told him to do it with no hesitation. Then he hung up. What a complete idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 23 December 2012, 09:49:02 am
Hey
I saw your profile and nice photos, i was just wondering if you would like to have fun with fun free of charge?? I'm a escort here myself.

Peace

$%^&* - name removed to protect the prat.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 23 December 2012, 03:37:49 pm
Quote from: Fluffy Bunny on 23 December 2012, 09:49:02 am
Hey
I saw your profile and nice photos, i was just wondering if you would like to have fun with fun free of charge?? I'm a escort here myself.

Peace

$%^&* - name removed to protect the prat.


Guys think that being an escort themselves entitle them to a freebies. Words are so easily thrown about these days to try and fool us. But little do they know....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 23 December 2012, 04:04:12 pm
Quote from: meetingdiversity on 22 December 2012, 08:15:35 pm
Prat rang me today and  unfortunately I wasn't available for him. So he even had the cheek to ask me to email other escorts for him... But here's his dum reason. Apparently his email broke down. I told him to do it with no hesitation. Then he hung up. What a complete idiot.

I've had the "I'm out on the road, the lady I want to see doesn't have number displayed can you email her and ask her to phone me?" request.

I did actually do it but I know if I was knew of a business locally and asked them to contact another business in an area I was travelling to, that they'd more than likely say "Sod off" in a polite way.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 23 December 2012, 05:48:10 pm
Quote from: Strawberry on 23 December 2012, 04:04:12 pm
Quote from: meetingdiversity on 22 December 2012, 08:15:35 pm
Prat rang me today and  unfortunately I wasn't available for him. So he even had the cheek to ask me to email other escorts for him... But here's his dum reason. Apparently his email broke down. I told him to do it with no hesitation. Then he hung up. What a complete idiot.

I've had the "I'm out on the road, the lady I want to see doesn't have number displayed can you email her and ask her to phone me?" request.

I did actually do it but I know if I was knew of a business locally and asked them to contact another business in an area I was travelling to, that they'd more than likely say "Sod off" in a polite way.

Thinking about it now I would of done the favor for them only after paying me for it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bbwlouise on 23 December 2012, 05:49:15 pm
HAD THIS ONE VIA AW? WHEN DID AW TURN INTO A DATING SITE???

You caught my attention louise, particularly as I liked your profile, so in light of that, here's a bit about me.

I'm a 6ft tall, 37yr old dominant man with dark hair/eyes, a stocky build, and am strong, hairy, masculine and attractive. I thoroughly enjoy the company of women, and particularly submissive ones who are skilled at rimming: I absolutely adore having my arse WELL licked out.

In the interest of clarity, some of the other areas that I enjoy are rough sex, face slapping, face fucking, hair pulling, breast/nipple play, cock worship, facials, fisting, spankings (from otk to canes/crops), watersports, objectification and control.

Chemistry is important, as is a relaxed attitude. I will say upfront that I'm not a punter, however, if I still catch your eye, then get in touch. It'd be good to have a chat and meet up for a drink in person sometime to see if we click and take things from there.

Jay x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 23 December 2012, 06:08:26 pm
Quote from: bbwlouise on 23 December 2012, 05:49:15 pm
HAD THIS ONE VIA AW? WHEN DID AW TURN INTO A DATING SITE???

You caught my attention louise, particularly as I liked your profile, so in light of that, here's a bit about me.

I'm a 6ft tall, 37yr old dominant man with dark hair/eyes, a stocky build, and am strong, hairy, masculine and attractive. I thoroughly enjoy the company of women, and particularly submissive ones who are skilled at rimming: I absolutely adore having my arse WELL licked out.

In the interest of clarity, some of the other areas that I enjoy are rough sex, face slapping, face fucking, hair pulling, breast/nipple play, cock worship, facials, fisting, spankings (from otk to canes/crops), watersports, objectification and control.

Chemistry is important, as is a relaxed attitude. I will say upfront that I'm not a punter, however, if I still catch your eye, then get in touch. It'd be good to have a chat and meet up for a drink in person sometime to see if we click and take things from there.

Jay x

LOL!!  A relaxed attitude? He doesn't sound particularly relaxed with that long list of fairly specific fetishy likes.

I've taken to replying to these idiots going 'AdultWORK - exactly that - WORK.'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 23 December 2012, 06:36:03 pm
Quote from: bbwlouise on 23 December 2012, 05:49:15 pm
HAD THIS ONE VIA AW? WHEN DID AW TURN INTO A DATING SITE???

You caught my attention louise, particularly as I liked your profile, so in light of that, here's a bit about me.

I'm a 6ft tall, 37yr old dominant man with dark hair/eyes, a stocky build, and am strong, hairy, masculine and attractive. I thoroughly enjoy the company of women, and particularly submissive ones who are skilled at rimming: I absolutely adore having my arse WELL licked out.

In the interest of clarity, some of the other areas that I enjoy are rough sex, face slapping, face fucking, hair pulling, breast/nipple play, cock worship, facials, fisting, spankings (from otk to canes/crops), watersports, objectification and control.

Chemistry is important, as is a relaxed attitude. I will say upfront that I'm not a punter, however, if I still catch your eye, then get in touch. It'd be good to have a chat and meet up for a drink in person sometime to see if we click and take things from there.

Jay x
That fool wants a slave for free. Oh please!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bbwlouise on 23 December 2012, 06:37:18 pm
he got a short sharp email to the effect! god these fools really do push the tolerence levels
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 23 December 2012, 06:46:00 pm
Did you tell him to go to match.com  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pearl on 24 December 2012, 04:57:37 pm
Typing saafe on google, I have found this idiot who uploaded a call on youtube...

IDIOT  >:( >:( >:(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nop7RduYCHQ (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nop7RduYCHQ)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 24 December 2012, 05:32:15 pm
I've seen that when googling saafe too. PRAT!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 24 December 2012, 09:23:20 pm
Why did the phone call even last that long?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 28 December 2012, 03:23:03 pm
A series of texts the other night that I naturally ignored -

20:33 - Guess u wouldn't do a quick bj as an outcall will u? X

20:42 - ?x

21:22 - U can name your price. X



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 28 December 2012, 03:26:57 pm
Quote from: Clarabella on 28 December 2012, 03:23:03 pm
A series of texts the other night that I naturally ignored -

20:33 - Guess u wouldn't do a quick bj as an outcall will u? X

20:42 - ?x

21:22 - U can name your price. X


Mr Number app blocks texts and some phones already have spam on. The Samsung S3 has got a blocker.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 28 December 2012, 03:31:12 pm
Quote from: meetingdiversity on 28 December 2012, 03:26:57 pm
Quote from: Clarabella on 28 December 2012, 03:23:03 pm
A series of texts the other night that I naturally ignored -

20:33 - Guess u wouldn't do a quick bj as an outcall will u? X

20:42 - ?x

21:22 - U can name your price. X

This just makes me hunger to upgrade my crappy work phone even more.  This is something I could really benefit from!  Thanks MD!  Although I must admit, I do find these silly texts somewhat amusing hee hee.  Not enough to miss them though  8)


Mr Number app blocks texts and some phones already have spam on. The Samsung S3 has got a blocker.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 28 December 2012, 05:49:23 pm
*ahem*

look what Santa brought me!!  :D

'Hi .... x

WOW!!
Hope your enjoying your Christmas.. You are just one sexy lady baby I just
love those sexy pics of yours! You are fiTT (with CAPITAL T's).
I'm a 29yr old male stud from London and I have a BIG Hard Hot & ThRoBbInG
Juicy FAT Cock and I know how to use it. I'm also extremely good with my
tongue as I just love licking & eating pussy! x
I'm looking for shared content as I want to do some adult work and
escorting. I would love to take some pics/vids of us for our adultwork
profiles. If you prefer just solo content then maybe we can just take
pics/vids of each other and help each other out that way? I do consider
myself a good amateur photographer as I have an eye for a good photograph.
Maybe even if you needed a stud for a party, event or as a partner while
you escort I'd also be well up for that!
I must admit I do have a stockings fetish and love women in uniform or a
women that loves dressing up so those pics of you in your stockings really
do turn me on especially when on a mature sexy lady like your self x
I hope you don't mind me contacting you like this babe but like you I just
want to make some fucking money and have some naughty sexy discreet adult
fun along the way! ;)
Let me know what you think babe and I look forward to hearing from you
soon.


Merry Christmas & seasons greetings..Sexyregards,

BIGBoy.... xXxd; )'

mwhahahaha.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 28 December 2012, 10:59:58 pm
I would have emailed him back and asked "are you comparing me to a farm animal by calling me babe?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 29 December 2012, 12:50:43 am
Quote from: sweet jane on 28 December 2012, 05:49:23 pm
*ahem*

look what Santa brought me!!  :D

'Hi .... x

WOW!!
Hope your enjoying your Christmas.. You are just one sexy lady baby I just
love those sexy pics of yours! You are fiTT (with CAPITAL T's).
I'm a 29yr old male stud from London and I have a BIG Hard Hot & ThRoBbInG
Juicy FAT Cock and I know how to use it. I'm also extremely good with my
tongue as I just love licking & eating pussy! x
I'm looking for shared content as I want to do some adult work and
escorting. I would love to take some pics/vids of us for our adultwork
profiles. If you prefer just solo content then maybe we can just take
pics/vids of each other and help each other out that way? I do consider
myself a good amateur photographer as I have an eye for a good photograph.
Maybe even if you needed a stud for a party, event or as a partner while
you escort I'd also be well up for that!
I must admit I do have a stockings fetish and love women in uniform or a
women that loves dressing up so those pics of you in your stockings really
do turn me on especially when on a mature sexy lady like your self x
I hope you don't mind me contacting you like this babe but like you I just
want to make some fucking money and have some naughty sexy discreet adult
fun along the way! ;)
Let me know what you think babe and I look forward to hearing from you
soon.


Merry Christmas & seasons greetings..Sexyregards,

BIGBoy.... xXxd; )'

mwhahahaha.


Urgh. These type used to bug me...but now they really enrage me and turn my stomach. IDIOTS the lot of them. Grrrr. I'm not in a very tolerant mode with idiot men today!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mi on 30 December 2012, 02:44:41 pm
Just got this message entitled 'My domination fantasy'
Hi babe, my fantasy is to spend the evening with an escort while she takes substances to enhance her pleasure (and get you extra horny and out of control)
Would that be a turn on for you and something that you might consider ? X
I shudder to think what he want to do whilst i was 'out of control'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 30 December 2012, 06:55:02 pm
Text received earlier: "wna fuk?"

I know, I know, must not respond, must not respond! But I did... LOL! "Sorry I prefer my cock to be attached to something with a brain..."  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wonderlass on 30 December 2012, 07:07:48 pm
Email yesterday - ?Would you like to visit me here for 2 hours of sexy fun either this evening or sometime tomorrow? I can offer ?150.?

Polite reply - "I don't do discounts or negotiations. I will see you for one hour if you have ?150 or if you want the full two hours then that's ?230."

Email today - "How about visiting me this afternoon for 2 hours at 3.30pm for ?200? I live a short distance from Such-A-Place tube and I could collect you from there by car)."

Less than polite reply - "Hi again, I think you may be having problems reading my rates. I do not offer negotiations or discounts ever. If I wanted to offer ?200 for two hours then I?m pretty fucking sure I?d have put that down in the first place."

Subsequent email goes into "IGNORE" folder where, oddly, it is ignored.

 I then suddenly get a booking email come in! He actually tried to book me and said he'd pay the full two hour fee if he could spank me as well. I don't offer spanking. Just as I'm considering deleting and blocking his ignorant arse, HE TRIES TO BOOK ME AGAIN. Seriously, what the hell is this guy on?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 30 December 2012, 07:12:54 pm
I do wonder sometimes if these men are aware we are human beings, id recieved texts on xmas day to which i just ignored!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 30 December 2012, 08:20:51 pm
Quote from: wonderlass on 30 December 2012, 07:07:48 pm

{snippage}
Less than polite reply - "Hi again, I think you may be having problems reading my rates. I do not offer negotiations or discounts ever. If I wanted to offer ?200 for two hours then I?m pretty fucking sure I?d have put that down in the first place."
{snippage}


Love.It. !  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 30 December 2012, 10:47:50 pm
We have had a few texts from the same phone number though the guy seems to have a few personalities or something:

Christmas Day: Last night in southhampton, goin to germany tomoz xx horny soldier in uniform xxx
(This was replied to by our auto-response saying we were off for Christmas)

Boxing Day: Hello, looking for outcall, salisbury tomorrow xx
(We replied to this with 'not in Germany then?' - didn't get a reply to that)

Today: Fancy couple fun with me an slave fri night? Xx
(Not even going to bother replying...)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Beautiful_Belle on 30 December 2012, 11:48:02 pm
This one is perhaps how not to get a repeat booking - he had 15 minutes left of an hour booking; he'd spent the previous 45 minutes saying "Suck now, harder, hold my balls, suck my balls, lick here, lick faster, lick slower, move round, suck again..." so I was feeling alittle fed up with him, i'm not keen on being micromanaged, so I'll freely admit I was looking forward to bidding him a cheery farewell. He switched off the porn that had been playing and replaced it with a comedy film (which I watched later, was quite good, as I recall) and then said, lie here and we can watch this.

"Okay," says I, "We have a few minutes left." Not the sort of vibe I usually have but my radar was beeping.

I got on the bed and sure enough, after 14 minutes of watching the film, he started again. "You suck my cock again now." (Not a question, just a statement)

"Sorry love, we're all out of time!" and I hop off the bed. "Would you like a quick shower before you leave?"

The poor chap was floored. He sat up a bit and looked at me, laughing a little incredulously. "Really?" he said.

"Yes." I replied, smiling sweetly. "I have another gentleman arriving in 20 minutes."

"So...you really want me to leave? Now?"

I did toy with the idea of saying, "No, your endless barking demands and ridiculous assumptions have made me inceredibly smitten with you. When shall we wed?" but thught that might confuse the matter.

Forgive the slightly OTness, but  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 31 December 2012, 04:37:56 pm
Quote from: DianaMurphy on 30 December 2012, 06:55:02 pm
Text received earlier: "wna fuk?"

I know, I know, must not respond, must not respond! But I did... LOL! "Sorry I prefer my cock to be attached to something with a brain..."  ::)

I'm stealing this one ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 31 December 2012, 06:02:54 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 31 December 2012, 04:37:56 pm
Quote from: DianaMurphy on 30 December 2012, 06:55:02 pm
Text received earlier: "wna fuk?"

I know, I know, must not respond, must not respond! But I did... LOL! "Sorry I prefer my cock to be attached to something with a brain..."  ::)

I'm stealing this one ;)
[/quote
 
Feel free! He did actually reply again twice after that along the lines of he loves a sarcastic woman and that he prefers his cock in a warm wet place but he is well and truly blocked now!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 31 December 2012, 07:25:50 pm
Had met him once, he had texted me yesterday to book for tomorrow, New Years Days, I agreed and we settled on a time..

Woke up this morning to the following text

Hi there,please dont take this the wrong way, was looking about booking again ( thought we had organised that yesterday) and thought well there is by far a lot of better looking girls with better bodies than you to see. I think you should go for another selling point, lile offering up 3sums or something different that the other better looking girls arent doing.

Thank fucking heavens I do it for the money lol lol and the rest of my clients seem happy with my size 16, real woman figure,



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 31 December 2012, 07:33:03 pm
Cheeky so and so. So why didn't he book those better looking girls in the first place instead of wasting your time. What other way were you supposed to take it? the loser, he did that for a reason only he knows and as for telling you how to conduct your business tell him politely to do one, you don't need his input.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 31 December 2012, 07:40:42 pm
LOL All I could do was laugh, I don't care why he did it, but speaks volumes about him..Oh well he wasnt any good in bed, stiff wooden and yawnnnnnnnn boring so I'm hardly gutted about it, I replied off you go pay them so :)

hehe
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: blondieMK on 31 December 2012, 07:41:43 pm
Cheeky fooker!! I would not so politely say he's the one that has to pay for sex on New Year's Day and to f*ck da f*ck ooooff!! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 31 December 2012, 07:48:34 pm
I was tempted but then he might have thought he had upset me lol, and he didnt really..As you say he's the one having to pay to get laid :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 31 December 2012, 08:00:32 pm
Quote from: curvywench on 31 December 2012, 07:40:42 pm
LOL All I could do was laugh, I don't care why he did it, but speaks volumes about him..Oh well he wasnt any good in bed, stiff wooden and yawnnnnnnnn boring so I'm hardly gutted about it, I replied off you go pay them so :)

hehe


Hehe. I so would have sent him that response, knock the cockiness out of him for a few days. ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 31 December 2012, 09:13:23 pm
Quote from: curvywench on 31 December 2012, 07:25:50 pm
Had met him once, he had texted me yesterday to book for tomorrow, New Years Days, I agreed and we settled on a time..

Woke up this morning to the following text

Hi there,please dont take this the wrong way, was looking about booking again ( thought we had organised that yesterday) and thought well there is by far a lot of better looking girls with better bodies than you to see. I think you should go for another selling point, lile offering up 3sums or something different that the other better looking girls arent doing.

Thank fucking heavens I do it for the money lol lol and the rest of my clients seem happy with my size 16, real woman figure,

What a twat. I guess at size 22 I should be giving it away! Funny as someone just told me I need to charge MORE! And he's so bloody gorgeous he's paying for sex! Idiot. Oh that one has really made me angry!
Glad it's not bothered you as much as it has me! hahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 31 December 2012, 09:45:05 pm
Quote from: curvywench on 31 December 2012, 07:25:50 pm
Had met him once, he had texted me yesterday to book for tomorrow, New Years Days, I agreed and we settled on a time..

Woke up this morning to the following text

Hi there,please dont take this the wrong way, was looking about booking again ( thought we had organised that yesterday) and thought well there is by far a lot of better looking girls with better bodies than you to see. I think you should go for another selling point, lile offering up 3sums or something different that the other better looking girls arent doing.

Thank fucking heavens I do it for the money lol lol and the rest of my clients seem happy with my size 16, real woman figure,





What a cretin !!

Maybe he is after a mouthfull of abuse/humiliation as he would certainly deserve it!

Sounds to me that he was either deliberately winding you up or hoping you would BEG him to visit and offer a discount. . . urrghh! What a horrid man
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 31 December 2012, 09:47:45 pm
Quote from: Coty on 31 December 2012, 09:13:23 pm
Oh that one has really made me angry!
Glad it's not bothered you as much as it has me! hahaha

Quote from: Coty on 31 December 2012, 09:13:23 pm


 Oh that one has really made me angry!
Glad it's not bothered you as much as it has me! hahaha


Me too , I would of been seriously annoyed as its someone youve seen before ( people ive never met sending nasty emails/txts doenst bother me so much  ).... You seem to be taking it very well :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 31 December 2012, 11:04:06 pm
Ah idiots dont bother me, I go out of my way to entertain my clients and have a chat n a giggle with them, dont rush them and treat them like I really want to spend time with them, his loss I reckon...And my gain, I'm now free tomorrow and can hopefully find someone new to play with that likes me for me.

I know not all of us are everyones cup of tea, thats fine I spent enough time on swinging sites not to take it personally, and I wont, but why try rebook only yesterday? Well lets hope he is stuck at home with a raging hard on and no company tomorrow - that will be my payback lol

I dont beg clients under ANY circumstances and nor do I offer discounts, so he can wank away to the tune of "kiss my fat ass"dickhead if he was hoping for that, nor would I let some punter who has to pay ME to fuck him, upset me....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 31 December 2012, 11:21:13 pm
 i would have replied with the following  -

Wow, thanks for the really really useful insight on how i can improve my business and  make more money really really appreciate it  and so thoughtful of you to think of me in that way. Im going to start re writing my profile right now to encourage more business   
 
 However just thought that i would point out a few little facts ( just in case you forget ) in life there are those of us who get paid very good money to get fucked  ( that would be me by the way  )

and then there are those that have to pay to get fucked as they could not get fucked any other way ( that would be you by the way)

Now have a fabulous New Year and i really hope that you get a lovely girlfriend so that you no longer have to pay a prostitute to suck your dick and fuck you  (  stranger things have happened in the world so you might get lucky but i sincerely doubt it  )

Mwwwah
Grace

 

Quote from: curvywench on 31 December 2012, 07:25:50 pm
Had met him once, he had texted me yesterday to book for tomorrow, New Years Days, I agreed and we settled on a time..

Woke up this morning to the following text

Hi there,please dont take this the wrong way, was looking about booking again ( thought we had organised that yesterday) and thought well there is by far a lot of better looking girls with better bodies than you to see. I think you should go for another selling point, lile offering up 3sums or something different that the other better looking girls arent doing.

Thank fucking heavens I do it for the money lol lol and the rest of my clients seem happy with my size 16, real woman figure,
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 01 January 2013, 12:16:15 am
Quote from: ParisB on 31 December 2012, 11:21:13 pm
i would have replied with the following  -

Wow, thanks for the really really useful insight on how i can improve my business and  make more money really really appreciate it  and so thoughtful of you to think of me in that way. Im going to start re writing my profile right now to encourage more business   
 
 However just thought that i would point out a few little facts ( just in case you forget ) in life there are those of us who get paid very good money to get fucked  ( that would be me by the way  )

and then there are those that have to pay to get fucked as they could not get fucked any other way ( that would be you by the way)

Now have a fabulous New Year and i really hope that you get a lovely girlfriend so that you no longer have to pay a prostitute to suck your dick and fuck you  (  stranger things have happened in the world so you might get lucky but i sincerely doubt it  )

Mwwwah
Grace

oh darling I just love that lmfao 

 

Quote from: curvywench on 31 December 2012, 07:25:50 pm
Had met him once, he had texted me yesterday to book for tomorrow, New Years Days, I agreed and we settled on a time..

Woke up this morning to the following text

Hi there,please dont take this the wrong way, was looking about booking again ( thought we had organised that yesterday) and thought well there is by far a lot of better looking girls with better bodies than you to see. I think you should go for another selling point, lile offering up 3sums or something different that the other better looking girls arent doing.

Thank fucking heavens I do it for the money lol lol and the rest of my clients seem happy with my size 16, real woman figure,
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 01 January 2013, 05:02:17 am
Quote from: ParisB on 31 December 2012, 11:21:13 pm
i would have replied with the following  -

Wow, thanks for the really really useful insight on how i can improve my business and  make more money really really appreciate it  and so thoughtful of you to think of me in that way. Im going to start re writing my profile right now to encourage more business   
 
 However just thought that i would point out a few little facts ( just in case you forget ) in life there are those of us who get paid very good money to get fucked  ( that would be me by the way  )

and then there are those that have to pay to get fucked as they could not get fucked any other way ( that would be you by the way)

Now have a fabulous New Year and i really hope that you get a lovely girlfriend so that you no longer have to pay a prostitute to suck your dick and fuck you  (  stranger things have happened in the world so you might get lucky but i sincerely doubt it  )

Mwwwah
Grace


Oh Paris...that's hilarious. I almost want someone to insult me now! I think I'll go put my prices up just to see if anyone complains lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 01 January 2013, 11:37:03 am
Quote from: Coty on 01 January 2013, 05:02:17 am
Quote from: ParisB on 31 December 2012, 11:21:13 pm
i would have replied with the following  -

Wow, thanks for the really really useful insight on how i can improve my business and  make more money really really appreciate it  and so thoughtful of you to think of me in that way. Im going to start re writing my profile right now to encourage more business   
 
 However just thought that i would point out a few little facts ( just in case you forget ) in life there are those of us who get paid very good money to get fucked  ( that would be me by the way  )

and then there are those that have to pay to get fucked as they could not get fucked any other way ( that would be you by the way)

Now have a fabulous New Year and i really hope that you get a lovely girlfriend so that you no longer have to pay a prostitute to suck your dick and fuck you  (  stranger things have happened in the world so you might get lucky but i sincerely doubt it  )

Mwwwah
Grace



Oh Paris...that's hilarious. I almost want someone to insult me now! I think I'll go put my prices up just to see if anyone complains lol

I'm pretty good at being passive aggressive when the mood takes me
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 01 January 2013, 12:00:41 pm
Didnt know that was the name for it Paris.

I just thought you were like me, a bit long in the tooth to be assed with the ***** and gave them it between the eyes. ROFL. ::) ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 01 January 2013, 02:29:41 pm
lol no passive aggressive  when your being  aggressive but not actually being aggressive i.e. shouting yelling ect 

Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 01 January 2013, 12:00:41 pm
Didnt know that was the name for it Paris.

I just thought you were like me, a bit long in the tooth to be assed with the ***** and gave them it between the eyes. ROFL. ::) ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 01 January 2013, 03:06:30 pm
Quote from: ParisB on 31 December 2012, 11:21:13 pm
i would have replied with the following  -

Wow, thanks for the really really useful insight on how i can improve my business and  make more money really really appreciate it  and so thoughtful of you to think of me in that way. Im going to start re writing my profile right now to encourage more business   
 
 However just thought that i would point out a few little facts ( just in case you forget ) in life there are those of us who get paid very good money to get fucked  ( that would be me by the way  )

and then there are those that have to pay to get fucked as they could not get fucked any other way ( that would be you by the way)

Now have a fabulous New Year and i really hope that you get a lovely girlfriend so that you no longer have to pay a prostitute to suck your dick and fuck you  (  stranger things have happened in the world so you might get lucky but i sincerely doubt it  )

Mwwwah
Grace

 
Brilliant  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 01 January 2013, 09:01:20 pm
Losing the will to live.  Just received the following.  Read the first couple of lines then emailed him to tell him i was reading no more.  Jesus, fantasy wanker ?  ::), if you read it you are a better person than me, no time for twats.


Hi Mistress,

I am based in ***** however I travel over to the *** quite a bit with work and would like to arrange a session if it suited us both.

The reason i went into so much detail is that i would like this session to be beneficial to both of us. A big part of the thrill would be for you to enjoy administering such services to me.

I want to ensure that you are entirely happy with the role and we both get as much out of it as possible.

In regards to the humiliation type i am referring to i have a few examples if you wouldn't mind having a look at?

The below is broken into 4 parts and shows great humiliation of the male. This is exactly the type of humiliation / blackmail i am turned on by. If you see how quickly the woman takes control and the power she has over him this is exactly what i am looking for:

Part 1 -
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=244290

Part 2 -
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=244290&page=2

Part 3 -
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=293334

Part 4 -
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=293334&page=2


The below one (Please disregard the mother reference and replace with a strict aunt or babysitter or something) shows total control by the woman over the male.
http://www.youlysses.com/momdress.html


And finally, the ball squeezing here is brilliant. (Again please disregard the mother reference and replace with a strict aunt or babysitter or something) There is humiliation in this but also the woman gets the male to admit although it is painful and humiliating, he is still erect the majority of the time and uses this against him to inflict further pain, punishment and humiliation on him:

http://www.youlysses.com/tim.htm

Here is a sample extract from the story:

"Eventually she stopped and pulled her son off her knee. Timmy stood in front of

her, his face red and streaked with tears, sobbing hoarsely. Maureen waited

until he had calmed down slightly, then reached up and took hold of his balls,

wrapping her hand around them. She squeezed slightly and Timmy whimpered. "So,

do you still think that women are just tits and ass ?" she asked. "N-no Mummy."

sobbed Timmy. "Are you going to spend any more time drooling over nasty

pictures ?" Another squeeze. "No Mummy !" cried Timmy as the pain shot through

his groin. "That's good Timmy. I'm still concerned though, so I'm going to keep

a firm eye on you from now on. I don't want any more dirty behaviour. I don't

expect to see *this*," she slapped his cock with her left hand, "sticking up

when it shouldn't be. If you get an erection in future, I want you to come and

tell me, and explain to me what caused it. Then I can decide whether it was

justified or not, and whether you need to be punished. If I catch you getting

an erection without telling me, you'll be in very serious trouble indeed,

understand ?!" She squeezed his balls again, maintaining the pressure as Timmy

sobbed "Yes Mummy ! I promise Mummy ! Oooohh !" Maureen kept her grip tight for

a few more seconds, watching her son squirm with unconcealed delight. Then she

released him. "Now you go to your room and stay there until I say you can come

out. Put that disgusting magazine outside your door, and any others you might

have, so I can come and collect them. Don't put any clothes on either, I want

you to stay naked." Tearfully Timmy went to his room, placing the magazine

outside his door as he had been told."

Could you let me know what you think of the above?

In the meantime i will work out my schedule with work and see how soon i could visit.

Also, which is the closest airport to you? How far are you based from there?

I appreciate your time on this as it is a fantasy of mine.

Your small cock slave

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 02 January 2013, 02:43:58 am
Jesus Christ...no I couldn't be bothered either!

I had a shorter version.

hi madam. i love food sex.lets play as frends
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 02 January 2013, 06:54:00 am
I had him contact me ages ago LL,  he also wanted me to write him a scenario similiar to the ones he sent me from Literotica...Ah will ya feck off lol, I have a life to lead, go write your own porn

CW
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 02 January 2013, 09:30:14 am
The fantasists are out big style by the sounds of it! Just received this gem through email, how on earth anyone could get the impression I'd be interested in such crap from my adverts is beyond me!

Quote
I suppose I should start off by saying that I am 49yrs old, grey hair, blue eyes, medium build.
All this is quite new to me so please bear with me.
This fantasy is NOT about my humiliation or my satisfaction and not about tie and tease; it is all about your enjoyment of being in control and making someone submit to worshipping your favourite places ? your pussy and your ass. Cleanliness is very important to me as I know it must be with you. Although this fantasy pushes some of the boundaries I should point out that I am NOT in any way into, I think it is called hard sports.
I would like you ideally to be dressed in thigh length boots, a black pvc micro skirt with black panties. The Dom bitch look?
I want you to be an exhibitionist and very verbally explicit in your demands loving to fully expose yourself making me look and fully orally worship you in both those places.
I want you to act like a bitch who gets angry if I do not fully submit to you, who is forceful and will do anything to get her way. You are obsessed with using my mouth, tongue and fingers to masturbate you with and this being a total means of worship concentrating solely on your ass and pussy. You are excited about the fun you are going to have taking your time over the ultimate worship ? the water sports play.
I will obviously need to be tied up in order for you to maintain control, but I do not want to be trust up totally ? just enough for me to be able to easily move about as you demand and for you to be able to ensure control when I try to stop things happening. My wrists tied to the front so I can touch you when you demand it and perhaps it would be good to tie my ankles so I can?t get away from you easily. If you have a cane near you all the time that will help to keep me under control if I start to play up. The main thing is once I am tied up you complete this fantasy fully whatever I say or do. Getting your attitude right is really important.
As you can imagine it is also important that I am not marked during this fantasy ? which I appreciate is difficult. There is caning on the lower legs, feet etc, slapping, nipple pinching, hair pulling, ear pulling and other places that you can administer pain ? I do not like pain so hopefully I will end up submitting to you this way ? however you do have the ultimate weapon if needed ? the genuine threat of marking me? You use these techniques at any time I will not do as I am told or you are not satisfied I am fully submitting to you.
So here we go ? you have me tied up and now you?re in control.
You walk round with your cane telling me the sort of things you are going to make me do ? when I interrupt and refuse to agree then you discipline me to make me submit.
You make me lay on my back and squat over my face with your panties on. You are a few inches over my mouth and you tell me how later this is the position you will be in, with your two fingers each side of your pussy mimicking aiming pee into my mouth. You laugh telling me that by the time you have finished with me you will be making me beg for you to do that to me. You discipline me again to ensure I am submitting to you.
You then stand and walk to a chair you have prepared. A chair with two arms on it so you can put the back of each knee over them totally exposing the two places you want to be worshiped. You take off your panties and sit in the chair keeping your knees together.  You demand I crawl over to you and then you part your legs placing them over the arms of the chair. You slowly touch your vagina, opening the lips telling me how I am going to lick and drink from you. You get your fingers wet and demand I suck them. You feed me with your juice again getting angry if I don?t do exactly as I am told. You then tell me to suck your fingers making sure they are nice and wet, you then run them over your ass and tell me to lick it to lubricate it. You then finger yourself taking it out every so often to make me lubricate suck your finger and lick your ass to lubricate it some more.
You tell me to lubricate my finger and make me do it to you demanding I lick your pussy as I do it.
You then get a large toy and make me lube that before you slowly use it on your pussy, telling me you are going to make me suck it after it has gone as far inside you as you can get it. You then do the same to your ass but only going a little way inside.
You get on your hands and knees and again make me lick that ass demanding my tongue goes inside you.
You then tell me the time has come for your real fun to start and my ultimate test.
You make me sit with my face a very close to your pussy. You have towels under you and on the floor. You use your fingers to slightly open yourself up, enough to make me see exactly where the pee comes from as you let a few drops out. You stop and demand I lick you clean. You do this several time disciplining me if I won?t conform.
You then hold my head close to you. You demand I open my mouth demanding ?don?t you dare fucking pull away? ?keep your fucking mouth open? etc.  You hold my head so you stop me pulling away. You then pee into my mouth, stopping after a few drops and making me lick you clean again.
You then demand I place my mouth completely over your pussy ? You stroke my head telling me ?I?m a good boy? as long as I don?t pull away. You then let little drops directly into my mouth demanding I drink it. You repeat this several times.
You are not happy I am drinking you so you tell me you have an idea where you can ensure I drink it. You discipline me until I agree to lay on my back on the floor on your towels. You then squat over me so you are a few inches from my mouth. You place a finger each side of your pussy opening your lips slightly so you can aim better and so you can watch closely. You then make me beg for you to pee in my mouth. You make me agree to drink it. You make me do this by threatening to mark me perhaps threatening to use your thumb and finger on my neck to mimic a love bite?
When you are ready you demand I open my mouth and then just let little drops into it (not lots) and then ensure I swallow them. You do this several times and then rub yourself over my mouth(ensuring I can breathe ok ? not into suffocation) as you finish off peeing just letting it run over my mouth and lips until you are finished.
You then release me we shower and return to the bedroom where you let me play with you relieve me no longer being dom.
I know I have gone on a bit but it is so important that you know what I want to happen as once it starts I will have no say.
I don?t know if you would enjoy doing this or not. If not please say as it is important to me that you genuinely find this exciting and actually get some fun out to it.
Many thanks Paul xxx.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 02 January 2013, 12:39:42 pm
when they send me long winded letters  i just reply with a simple   -  sorry not my thing
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 02 January 2013, 01:01:39 pm
Quote from: ParisB on 02 January 2013, 12:39:42 pm
when they send me long winded letters  i just reply with a simple   -  sorry not my thing

Pretty much what I do as well!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 02 January 2013, 02:29:16 pm
Can't have been the only one to get this:

Hi I have come across your profile and I see your local to me and was wondering if you would be interested in having a website for portfolio
purposes etc ?.  I have done a few escorts sites now and they have had a proven increase of customers as a website gives a professional look x I
can also set up a store so people can purchase images or videos for you to make extra cash x lemme know if this sounds good to you and as payment goes its ?50  for a site or im willing to accept your escorts service as payment x

Somehow his profile is still up...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 02 January 2013, 02:44:22 pm
Quote from: DianaMurphy on 02 January 2013, 09:30:14 am
The fantasists are out big style by the sounds of it! Just received this gem through email, how on earth anyone could get the impression I'd be interested in such crap from my adverts is beyond me!

Quote
I suppose I should start off by saying that I am 49yrs old, grey hair, blue eyes, medium build.
All this is quite new to me so please bear with me.
This fantasy is NOT about my humiliation or my satisfaction and not about tie and tease; it is all about your enjoyment of being in control and making someone submit to worshipping your favourite places ? your pussy and your ass. Cleanliness is very important to me as I know it must be with you. Although this fantasy pushes some of the boundaries I should point out that I am NOT in any way into, I think it is called hard sports.
I would like you ideally to be dressed in thigh length boots, a black pvc micro skirt with black panties. The Dom bitch look?
I want you to be an exhibitionist and very verbally explicit in your demands loving to fully expose yourself making me look and fully orally worship you in both those places.
I want you to act like a bitch who gets angry if I do not fully submit to you, who is forceful and will do anything to get her way. You are obsessed with using my mouth, tongue and fingers to masturbate you with and this being a total means of worship concentrating solely on your ass and pussy. You are excited about the fun you are going to have taking your time over the ultimate worship ? the water sports play.
I will obviously need to be tied up in order for you to maintain control, but I do not want to be trust up totally ? just enough for me to be able to easily move about as you demand and for you to be able to ensure control when I try to stop things happening. My wrists tied to the front so I can touch you when you demand it and perhaps it would be good to tie my ankles so I can?t get away from you easily. If you have a cane near you all the time that will help to keep me under control if I start to play up. The main thing is once I am tied up you complete this fantasy fully whatever I say or do. Getting your attitude right is really important.
As you can imagine it is also important that I am not marked during this fantasy ? which I appreciate is difficult. There is caning on the lower legs, feet etc, slapping, nipple pinching, hair pulling, ear pulling and other places that you can administer pain ? I do not like pain so hopefully I will end up submitting to you this way ? however you do have the ultimate weapon if needed ? the genuine threat of marking me? You use these techniques at any time I will not do as I am told or you are not satisfied I am fully submitting to you.
So here we go ? you have me tied up and now you?re in control.
You walk round with your cane telling me the sort of things you are going to make me do ? when I interrupt and refuse to agree then you discipline me to make me submit.
You make me lay on my back and squat over my face with your panties on. You are a few inches over my mouth and you tell me how later this is the position you will be in, with your two fingers each side of your pussy mimicking aiming pee into my mouth. You laugh telling me that by the time you have finished with me you will be making me beg for you to do that to me. You discipline me again to ensure I am submitting to you.
You then stand and walk to a chair you have prepared. A chair with two arms on it so you can put the back of each knee over them totally exposing the two places you want to be worshiped. You take off your panties and sit in the chair keeping your knees together.  You demand I crawl over to you and then you part your legs placing them over the arms of the chair. You slowly touch your vagina, opening the lips telling me how I am going to lick and drink from you. You get your fingers wet and demand I suck them. You feed me with your juice again getting angry if I don?t do exactly as I am told. You then tell me to suck your fingers making sure they are nice and wet, you then run them over your ass and tell me to lick it to lubricate it. You then finger yourself taking it out every so often to make me lubricate suck your finger and lick your ass to lubricate it some more.
You tell me to lubricate my finger and make me do it to you demanding I lick your pussy as I do it.
You then get a large toy and make me lube that before you slowly use it on your pussy, telling me you are going to make me suck it after it has gone as far inside you as you can get it. You then do the same to your ass but only going a little way inside.
You get on your hands and knees and again make me lick that ass demanding my tongue goes inside you.
You then tell me the time has come for your real fun to start and my ultimate test.
You make me sit with my face a very close to your pussy. You have towels under you and on the floor. You use your fingers to slightly open yourself up, enough to make me see exactly where the pee comes from as you let a few drops out. You stop and demand I lick you clean. You do this several time disciplining me if I won?t conform.
You then hold my head close to you. You demand I open my mouth demanding ?don?t you dare fucking pull away? ?keep your fucking mouth open? etc.  You hold my head so you stop me pulling away. You then pee into my mouth, stopping after a few drops and making me lick you clean again.
You then demand I place my mouth completely over your pussy ? You stroke my head telling me ?I?m a good boy? as long as I don?t pull away. You then let little drops directly into my mouth demanding I drink it. You repeat this several times.
You are not happy I am drinking you so you tell me you have an idea where you can ensure I drink it. You discipline me until I agree to lay on my back on the floor on your towels. You then squat over me so you are a few inches from my mouth. You place a finger each side of your pussy opening your lips slightly so you can aim better and so you can watch closely. You then make me beg for you to pee in my mouth. You make me agree to drink it. You make me do this by threatening to mark me perhaps threatening to use your thumb and finger on my neck to mimic a love bite?
When you are ready you demand I open my mouth and then just let little drops into it (not lots) and then ensure I swallow them. You do this several times and then rub yourself over my mouth(ensuring I can breathe ok ? not into suffocation) as you finish off peeing just letting it run over my mouth and lips until you are finished.
You then release me we shower and return to the bedroom where you let me play with you relieve me no longer being dom.
I know I have gone on a bit but it is so important that you know what I want to happen as once it starts I will have no say.
I don?t know if you would enjoy doing this or not. If not please say as it is important to me that you genuinely find this exciting and actually get some fun out to it.
Many thanks Paul xxx.

What has happened to the normal men who just came over for a bit of rumpy pumpy? Now you have to put up with a reading a novel before you can get down to business.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 02 January 2013, 07:28:17 pm
Quote from: DianaMurphy on 02 January 2013, 09:30:14 am
The fantasists are out big style by the sounds of it! Just received this gem through email, how on earth anyone could get the impression I'd be interested in such crap from my adverts is beyond me!

Quote
I suppose I should start off by saying that I am 49yrs old, grey hair, blue eyes, medium build.
All this is quite new to me so please bear with me.
This fantasy is NOT about my humiliation or my satisfaction and not about tie and tease; it is all about your enjoyment of being in control and making someone submit to worshipping your favourite places – your pussy and your ass. Cleanliness is very important to me as I know it must be with you. Although this fantasy pushes some of the boundaries I should point out that I am NOT in any way into, I think it is called hard sports.
I would like you ideally to be dressed in thigh length boots, a black pvc micro skirt with black panties. The Dom bitch look?
I want you to be an exhibitionist and very verbally explicit in your demands loving to fully expose yourself making me look and fully orally worship you in both those places.
I want you to act like a bitch who gets angry if I do not fully submit to you, who is forceful and will do anything to get her way. You are obsessed with using my mouth, tongue and fingers to masturbate you with and this being a total means of worship concentrating solely on your ass and pussy. You are excited about the fun you are going to have taking your time over the ultimate worship – the water sports play.
I will obviously need to be tied up in order for you to maintain control, but I do not want to be trust up totally – just enough for me to be able to easily move about as you demand and for you to be able to ensure control when I try to stop things happening. My wrists tied to the front so I can touch you when you demand it and perhaps it would be good to tie my ankles so I can’t get away from you easily. If you have a cane near you all the time that will help to keep me under control if I start to play up. The main thing is once I am tied up you complete this fantasy fully whatever I say or do. Getting your attitude right is really important.
As you can imagine it is also important that I am not marked during this fantasy – which I appreciate is difficult. There is caning on the lower legs, feet etc, slapping, nipple pinching, hair pulling, ear pulling and other places that you can administer pain – I do not like pain so hopefully I will end up submitting to you this way – however you do have the ultimate weapon if needed – the genuine threat of marking me? You use these techniques at any time I will not do as I am told or you are not satisfied I am fully submitting to you.
So here we go – you have me tied up and now you’re in control.
You walk round with your cane telling me the sort of things you are going to make me do – when I interrupt and refuse to agree then you discipline me to make me submit.
You make me lay on my back and squat over my face with your panties on. You are a few inches over my mouth and you tell me how later this is the position you will be in, with your two fingers each side of your pussy mimicking aiming pee into my mouth. You laugh telling me that by the time you have finished with me you will be making me beg for you to do that to me. You discipline me again to ensure I am submitting to you.
You then stand and walk to a chair you have prepared. A chair with two arms on it so you can put the back of each knee over them totally exposing the two places you want to be worshiped. You take off your panties and sit in the chair keeping your knees together.  You demand I crawl over to you and then you part your legs placing them over the arms of the chair. You slowly touch your vagina, opening the lips telling me how I am going to lick and drink from you. You get your fingers wet and demand I suck them. You feed me with your juice again getting angry if I don’t do exactly as I am told. You then tell me to suck your fingers making sure they are nice and wet, you then run them over your ass and tell me to lick it to lubricate it. You then finger yourself taking it out every so often to make me lubricate suck your finger and lick your ass to lubricate it some more.
You tell me to lubricate my finger and make me do it to you demanding I lick your pussy as I do it.
You then get a large toy and make me lube that before you slowly use it on your pussy, telling me you are going to make me suck it after it has gone as far inside you as you can get it. You then do the same to your ass but only going a little way inside.
You get on your hands and knees and again make me lick that ass demanding my tongue goes inside you.
You then tell me the time has come for your real fun to start and my ultimate test.
You make me sit with my face a very close to your pussy. You have towels under you and on the floor. You use your fingers to slightly open yourself up, enough to make me see exactly where the pee comes from as you let a few drops out. You stop and demand I lick you clean. You do this several time disciplining me if I won’t conform.
You then hold my head close to you. You demand I open my mouth demanding ‘don’t you dare fucking pull away’ ‘keep your fucking mouth open’ etc.  You hold my head so you stop me pulling away. You then pee into my mouth, stopping after a few drops and making me lick you clean again.
You then demand I place my mouth completely over your pussy – You stroke my head telling me ‘I’m a good boy’ as long as I don’t pull away. You then let little drops directly into my mouth demanding I drink it. You repeat this several times.
You are not happy I am drinking you so you tell me you have an idea where you can ensure I drink it. You discipline me until I agree to lay on my back on the floor on your towels. You then squat over me so you are a few inches from my mouth. You place a finger each side of your pussy opening your lips slightly so you can aim better and so you can watch closely. You then make me beg for you to pee in my mouth. You make me agree to drink it. You make me do this by threatening to mark me perhaps threatening to use your thumb and finger on my neck to mimic a love bite?
When you are ready you demand I open my mouth and then just let little drops into it (not lots) and then ensure I swallow them. You do this several times and then rub yourself over my mouth(ensuring I can breathe ok – not into suffocation) as you finish off peeing just letting it run over my mouth and lips until you are finished.
You then release me we shower and return to the bedroom where you let me play with you relieve me no longer being dom.
I know I have gone on a bit but it is so important that you know what I want to happen as once it starts I will have no say.
I don’t know if you would enjoy doing this or not. If not please say as it is important to me that you genuinely find this exciting and actually get some fun out to it.
Many thanks Paul xxx.
some people have far to much time on their hands it seems !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 02 January 2013, 07:32:02 pm
Quote from: curvywench on 02 January 2013, 06:54:00 am
I had him contact me ages ago LL,  he also wanted me to write him a scenario similiar to the ones he sent me from Literotica...Ah will ya feck off lol, I have a life to lead, go write your own porn

CW

ROFL.  I didnt even get that far CW.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mysterious leicester on 03 January 2013, 12:25:49 am
Recently booked an apartment for the weekend - had on my website available from 12pm - 11pm both days. Anyway, woke up for a wee at 7.30am and saw the phone flashing (turn it on to silent at night).

It went like this

anon: Are you free now?

Me on toilet! no not till 12 as my profile says.

anon: but i need a f*ck now (such a turn on)

Me bites lip (probably still a bit drunk so saw the funny side) but I'm not working till 12

anon: I'm in work at 9 then can I come now?

Me: I start at 12, no

anon: Please. I'm desparate

me: Look I'll put this another way, can you come at 9.15am

anon: No I'm at work then

me: well why don't you go to work at 8?

anon: i don't start work till 9

me: Would you go to work at 8 if I asked you?

anon: no, why?

me: so why the f*ck are you asking me to work at 9 when I don't start 'till 12?

anon: sorry to have bothered you

am i being to nasty? lol

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 03 January 2013, 01:10:50 am
Quote from: curvywench on 31 December 2012, 11:04:06 pm

I dont beg clients under ANY circumstances and nor do I offer discounts, so he can wank away to the tune of "kiss my fat ass"dickhead if he was hoping for that, nor would I let some punter who has to pay ME to fuck him, upset me....

Oh dear , this sounds as if you think i meant you did!? !!  Sorry if it seemed that way as I deffo didnt mean that !

What i meant is he sounds like one of these pricks who wants either a discount/special treatment after 1 booking , or they want you to beg/work for the booking , there seems to be a lot of those around lately and i wont entertain them.

Had one just today on the phone . Makes bookign then goes into haggler mode  " what are you gonna offer me to sweeten the deal , because i was thinking of booking  "A.N.Other WG" instead " ........  :FF I told him to piss off and ring her then , laughing to myself as the girl in question is my duo partner and i know he woudl have NO chance of a discount or "please book me " games off her either .

Iknwo thats nto good customer service but ive just no patience for wankers anymore so rude and arrogant callers get a rude response. I save the "Nice Me" and good customer service for the decent callers who derserve mutual respect  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 03 January 2013, 01:17:04 am
Quote from: mysterious leicester on 03 January 2013, 12:25:49 am

am i being to nasty? lol



No , not to nasty , he was a prick who wouldnt take NO for an answer :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 03 January 2013, 08:06:42 am
Back to my bug bear.

"Are you available today pls"

Yes, please ring to arrange a booking x

 - "ok. Will ring in a bit"



That was then end of my pandering.  5 mins later.....



- "Where are you"

- "how much do you charge"

- What is specialty"

_Can you wear stockings"

- " I am not a timewaster!


Oh yes I think you are!!!!!!! now known as TW I am not a TW.  Started texting again yesterday...... yawn
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexa on 03 January 2013, 11:18:53 am
Quote from: mysterious leicester on 03 January 2013, 12:25:49 am
It went like this

anon: Are you free now?

Me on toilet! no not till 12 as my profile says.

anon: but i need a f*ck now (such a turn on)

Me bites lip (probably still a bit drunk so saw the funny side) but I'm not working till 12

anon: I'm in work at 9 then can I come now?

Me: I start at 12, no

anon: Please. I'm desparate

me: Look I'll put this another way, can you come at 9.15am

anon: No I'm at work then

me: well why don't you go to work at 8?

anon: i don't start work till 9

me: Would you go to work at 8 if I asked you?

anon: no, why?

me: so why the f*ck are you asking me to work at 9 when I don't start 'till 12?

anon: sorry to have bothered you

am i being to nasty? lol

This had me in hysterics. And no, not nasty at all.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 03 January 2013, 01:00:41 pm
Oh my days things seem to get even more ridiculous by the day...

I just had a booking inquiring about the service who sounded a complete nob head. Then he asked me about squirting. I replied yes then he said are you bi hmm... Why are you asking me that. He answered that he has a very sexy friend who squirts. Crikey.... What the heck a complete time waster. It became apparent this conversation wasn't going any where, after he told me it depends on the price. Then jumping in wanting 15 minutes time.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luvmylips on 04 January 2013, 06:33:00 am
Quote from: mysterious leicester on 03 January 2013, 12:25:49 am
Recently booked an apartment for the weekend - had on my website available from 12pm - 11pm both days. Anyway, woke up for a wee at 7.30am and saw the phone flashing (turn it on to silent at night).

It went like this

anon: Are you free now?

Me on toilet! no not till 12 as my profile says.

anon: but i need a f*ck now (such a turn on)

Me bites lip (probably still a bit drunk so saw the funny side) but I'm not working till 12

anon: I'm in work at 9 then can I come now?

Me: I start at 12, no

anon: Please. I'm desparate

me: Look I'll put this another way, can you come at 9.15am

anon: No I'm at work then

me: well why don't you go to work at 8?

anon: i don't start work till 9

me: Would you go to work at 8 if I asked you?

anon: no, why?

me: so why the f*ck are you asking me to work at 9 when I don't start 'till 12?

anon: sorry to have bothered you

am i being to nasty? lol


Brilliant response! Wish I could think of responses like that!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 04 January 2013, 08:53:58 am
Hi

I'm going to be dieing in about 6 months and I've decided to be cremated and the ashes turned into a diamond stone as you can now have that happen if you look it up on google u see what mean.

I'm going to be set in a 18c white/gold mount and have a neckless chain and I want a attractive women I don't know to have me, as i like the idea of that she is a bit of a princess and don't mind having me as a Diamond when the time comes.

I dont have anyone else no family so thats why I am looking for someone on here, and I like women with class one would would enjoy wearing me as her diamond.

It would be such a big honour to one day be a diamond for a women like you.

would you be interested? x

maybe not !!!!!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 04 January 2013, 09:12:08 am
Quote from: Orchid on 04 January 2013, 08:53:58 am
Hi

I'm going to be dieing in about 6 months and I've decided to be cremated and the ashes turned into a diamond stone as you can now have that happen if you look it up on google u see what mean.

I'm going to be set in a 18c white/gold mount and have a neckless chain and I want a attractive women I don't know to have me, as i like the idea of that she is a bit of a princess and don't mind having me as a Diamond when the time comes.

I dont have anyone else no family so thats why I am looking for someone on here, and I like women with class one would would enjoy wearing me as her diamond.

It would be such a big honour to one day be a diamond for a women like you.

would you be interested? x

maybe not !!!!!  ::)

Ohhh myyyy Lordy! I've seen it all now!  That is so bloody creepy!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 04 January 2013, 12:14:42 pm
text: Hey I'm (name) I'm keen to get involved
reply: If you'd like to make a booking (blah blah)
text: Will I have to pay? I'm pretty decent! X
reply: We're an escort couple, don't meet for free etc.
text: Ok take care sorry didn't mean to offend x

Not really sure what he meant to do then...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 04 January 2013, 12:22:43 pm
Quote from: Orchid on 04 January 2013, 08:53:58 am
Hi

I'm going to be dieing in about 6 months and I've decided to be cremated and the ashes turned into a diamond stone as you can now have that happen if you look it up on google u see what mean.

I'm going to be set in a 18c white/gold mount and have a neckless chain and I want a attractive women I don't know to have me, as i like the idea of that she is a bit of a princess and don't mind having me as a Diamond when the time comes.

I dont have anyone else no family so thats why I am looking for someone on here, and I like women with class one would would enjoy wearing me as her diamond.

It would be such a big honour to one day be a diamond for a women like you.

would you be interested? x

maybe not !!!!!  ::)

Hmmmm a bit very morbid I say lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 04 January 2013, 06:46:53 pm
Quote from: Orchid on 04 January 2013, 08:53:58 am
Hi

I'm going to be dieing in about 6 months and I've decided to be cremated and the ashes turned into a diamond stone as you can now have that happen if you look it up on google u see what mean.

I'm going to be set in a 18c white/gold mount and have a neckless chain and I want a attractive women I don't know to have me, as i like the idea of that she is a bit of a princess and don't mind having me as a Diamond when the time comes.

I dont have anyone else no family so thats why I am looking for someone on here, and I like women with class one would would enjoy wearing me as her diamond.

It would be such a big honour to one day be a diamond for a women like you.

would you be interested? x

maybe not !!!!!  ::)
That is seriously fucked up!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 07 January 2013, 01:01:36 pm
Test this morning..6am actually

"hiya, I was wondering is the tip of ur nose shiny?"

 :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mi on 07 January 2013, 01:49:39 pm
Quote from: Friday on 07 January 2013, 01:01:36 pm
Test this morning..6am actually

"hiya, I was wondering is the tip of ur nose shiny?"

 :o
Lol what??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tallgirl on 07 January 2013, 11:42:00 pm
I received an adultwork message today titled 'meet again?'

'hi there. met you once. best part was tying you up a bit and then giving you anal. are you up for that again?'

Er, I think you dreamt that encounter sir
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 08 January 2013, 10:29:58 am
Had an email yesterday enquiring if I was available at a certain time today. Said yes and asked him to phone me. No phone call, no response to email. This morning I get a couple of voicemails on my phone saying that he is ready for our appointment and that he needs directions  :FF

I mean what?! Am I supposed to be a mind-reader?!

Baffled.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nora batty on 08 January 2013, 12:53:16 pm
got this text this morning

"If I could make you cum with my tounge would you allow me to stay for 45 mins for the price of a quickie.  I met you once before about a year ago and cannot get you out of my head"

my response

"I may service the community but I am not on community service.  If you would like to see me you will be expected to pay myy full fee for the duration of the appointment up front"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 08 January 2013, 01:52:16 pm
Quote from: casey_kisses on 08 January 2013, 10:29:58 am
Had an email yesterday enquiring if I was available at a certain time today. Said yes and asked him to phone me. No phone call, no response to email. This morning I get a couple of voicemails on my phone saying that he is ready for our appointment and that he needs directions  :FF

I mean what?! Am I supposed to be a mind-reader?!
Casey you got to do mind reading and be available 24/7  for these individuals Not!

Baffled.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 09 January 2013, 01:03:01 am
this is surely a contender for a gold medal on how NOT to book an escort.................

DO NOT REVERSE THE CHARGES AND EXPECT ME TO PAY FOR THE CALL!!!

Twice I hung up after hearing this is a reverse charge call and twice he failed to get the hint and has rung again - seriously, reversing the charges on the phonecall  :FF :FF :FF  :FF  :FF  :FF :FF   :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 09 January 2013, 01:37:04 am
Cheeky fecker!!!!!!!!! OMG!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 09 January 2013, 09:13:51 am
Quote from: reneesme on 09 January 2013, 01:03:01 am
this is surely a contender for a gold medal on how NOT to book an escort.................

DO NOT REVERSE THE CHARGES AND EXPECT ME TO PAY FOR THE CALL!!!

Twice I hung up after hearing this is a reverse charge call and twice he failed to get the hint and has rung again - seriously, reversing the charges on the phonecall  :FF :FF :FF  :FF  :FF  :FF :FF   :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF

I get this where they call and hang up, they then wait and try again in the hope youre so keen and desperate (not) and think you will call back i dont.!!!
If they cant afford to pay for a call how on earth can they pay for a booking?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 09 January 2013, 12:39:03 pm
Quote from: Orchid on 09 January 2013, 09:13:51 am
Quote from: reneesme on 09 January 2013, 01:03:01 am
this is surely a contender for a gold medal on how NOT to book an escort.................

DO NOT REVERSE THE CHARGES AND EXPECT ME TO PAY FOR THE CALL!!!

Twice I hung up after hearing this is a reverse charge call and twice he failed to get the hint and has rung again - seriously, reversing the charges on the phonecall  :FF :FF :FF  :FF  :FF  :FF :FF   :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF

I get this where they call and hang up, they then wait and try again in the hope youre so keen and desperate (not) and think you will call back i dont.!!!
If they cant afford to pay for a call how on earth can they pay for a booking?!

i get the texts saying this person has no credit and would like you to call him  pmsl

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 09 January 2013, 06:38:53 pm
Quote from: ParisB on 09 January 2013, 12:39:03 pm
Quote from: Orchid on 09 January 2013, 09:13:51 am
If they cant afford to pay for a call how on earth can they pay for a booking?!

i get the texts saying this person has no credit and would like you to call him  pmsl

And me too, dont even warrant getting a return "free" text.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 09 January 2013, 07:08:32 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 09 January 2013, 06:38:53 pm
Quote from: ParisB on 09 January 2013, 12:39:03 pm
Quote from: Orchid on 09 January 2013, 09:13:51 am
If they cant afford to pay for a call how on earth can they pay for a booking?!

i get the texts saying this person has no credit and would like you to call him  pmsl

And me too, dont even warrant getting a return "free" text.  ::)
Oh that old one "I've only got free texts".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Redhead on 10 January 2013, 07:28:13 pm
Text received just now:

'Wana do a 2hour outcall 4 a new cdplayer'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 10 January 2013, 08:42:55 pm
Quote from: Redhead on 10 January 2013, 07:28:13 pm
Text received just now:

'Wana do a 2hour outcall 4 a new cdplayer'

Redhead  its part exchange eh?! id of asked for a live crocodile as a deal clincher,!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 10 January 2013, 08:44:29 pm
Quote from: Redhead on 10 January 2013, 07:28:13 pm
Text received just now:

'Wana do a 2hour outcall 4 a new cdplayer'

Urm... do they even make CD players anymore?!

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: gigi on 10 January 2013, 09:11:13 pm
Earlier today... a rambling email. I think I'll pass those six days of business up   ;)


Hello Dear
At the first i would like to wish you and your loved ones a wonderful Christmas, and wish you happiness and prosperity in the year ahead.
Also Please inform me you rate and your service and if you have Anal Sex in your service please inform me for your information if you have Anal sex in your service I pay for this service extra and inform me your pussy is wet  for your information I have booked in Random Hotel in London is this hotel ok for you if not I can change the hotel , of the end I will inform you if you give  me good service I will meet you in other nights also because I am 6 days for business in London .for your information I can not open your web site please send me some pictures from you alo.
Kiss You
Rambler
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Devilish Afro on 11 January 2013, 01:06:23 am
Lol! I had the same email too. Ridiculous.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: gigi on 11 January 2013, 11:17:00 am
haha! yeah it had all the signs of a botched copy and paste job

Quote from: Devilish Afro on 11 January 2013, 01:06:23 am
Lol! I had the same email too. Ridiculous.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 11 January 2013, 04:43:47 pm
Quote from: casey_kisses on 10 January 2013, 08:44:29 pm

Urm... do they even make CD players anymore?!

xx


Yeah and you probably get change out a tenner if you buy one.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 12 January 2013, 07:38:17 pm
Hi
I am really into role play and am looking for someone to play with, I would like to see you tomorrow for an hour to try out the scenario belowlet me know what you think:
You are dressed as a schoolgirl (but with hold-up stockings, either tan or black and no bra or knickers) and are sent to me for ?playing? with the boys, I tell you off for your behaviour and tell you that any man who you act like that with will want to lift your skirt up and fuck you. You, not believing, this saunter over and sit on my knee, kiss me for some time and say you wouldn't mind that, still believing that nothing will come of it! I say O.K. and then insist that you strip to your stockings for me, you then panic and try to wheedle out of it, and I spank you and force you to perform the striptease, Then, as I want to see you cum, I suggest you masturbate using your fingers, this is only achieved after more spanking to force you. I then tell you that all sluts like giving a B.J. you say you?re not a slut and the spanking needs to be augmented by use of implements. When you start to beg to give a B.J. and I give in you are so grateful you also rim my arsehole and thank me when I cum in your mouth.
You are now very horny and start acting like a total slut, rubbing your pussy against me and kissing and fondling me non-stop. I give in to you and lick and finger your pussy and arsehole as well as using a vibrator to make you cum.
You are still horny and continue acting the slut telling me you want fucked bareback; in fact you think you?d like a finger(or dildo) in your arse at the same time, obviously every slut gets what she wants!
What do you think? Are you up for it?


Hmmm let's see

1) I dont offer roleplay?!?!
2) I'm a 6 foot tall BBW I dont think you'd really want me sitting on your knee!
3) dont receive spanking
4) dont offer Cim
5) dont offer rimming
6) dont offer and i wont see anyone looking for bareback
7) dont receive anal

What I think is you should read profiles first...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimmy on 12 January 2013, 11:00:27 pm
had this one, lmao

'Can u do the following with me:


Kissing including French kissing

Prostrate massage. I?d like you to put your hands into my anal and make me scream ?.. ohhhhhhh yeah.

If you have any strap on toys, I?d like you to stick it up my anal and experience how it is like being fucked.

Smother me by putting your pussy over my mouth and making me eat and suck your pussy until your satisfied.

I?d like you to put alcohol over your body including your beautiful tits and pussy and force me to lick it.

Id like to do a threesome for my ultimate fantasy. How much extra?

Have really wet sex and finish it off with a watersport over me and me licking and sucking your pussy until it dries?? as I love pussy.

During out time I would like you to be the boss; you control me, dominate me and take advantage of me in your bed.

Let me know if you can satisfy my crave ?????'



I dont offer 3somes, prostate massage or strap on services, this is obvious from my profile

Some guys are just pathetic, you know this is a TW lmao  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wonderlass on 13 January 2013, 09:50:41 am
Wow. I am now somewhat regretting listing my website on Punterlink. I just woke up to this email -

"Sent from my iPad I've been told you stink. You make me feel ashamed to be white"

I'd be vastly insulted, and in the bath by now, if I'd actually HAD any punters. As it is, I only attract timewasters and people who cancel at the last minute. I just wonder if maybe my disgusting stench wafts down my webcam when I'm doing that?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 13 January 2013, 11:36:36 am
Text received last night: "Ho mach your price send me post cod" I decided not to reply offering pre-haddock  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 14 January 2013, 09:59:20 am

Hey, my name is J.... I was wondering if we could workout a deal....I am trying to get Irish citizenship or find a job in Ireland so I can become a naturalized citizen. I am an Irish American and I just want to get the hell out of America and bring my family blood back to the homeland. Can you help me do this please?


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 14 January 2013, 11:04:47 am
Quote from: foreign affairs on 14 January 2013, 09:59:20 am

Hey, my name is J.... I was wondering if we could workout a deal....I am trying to get Irish citizenship or find a job in Ireland so I can become a naturalized citizen. I am an Irish American and I just want to get the hell out of America and bring my family blood back to the homeland. Can you help me do this please?

lmao......must be your 'name' confused him!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Betty on 17 January 2013, 03:31:53 am


"hi,
I'm sorry to ask you this but I was little concerned about this matter so thought to ask you for your help. If you could kindly help
After a week without masturbation, I took this picture of my CUM and while taking that picture, I wanked three times with a time gap of 1 hr between each wank. So that picture shows three of my cum loads, and that pic is my profile.
So from your observation if you could tell whether my three cum load amount is fine, or do you think that is less?? And if you say that is less then can you give me the %age difference you see in my cum amount and in normal cum amount.

AND PLEASE BE HONEST AND PLEASE SAY THE TRUTH
TA and secondly, do you do tit wank or anal sex"

Low tolerance at this time of the day...

"get a grip u f**king mentalist."
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 17 January 2013, 08:59:22 am
Quote from: Betty on 17 January 2013, 03:31:53 am

 
"hi,
I'm sorry to ask you this but I was little concerned about this matter so thought to ask you for your help. If you could kindly help
After a week without masturbation, I took this picture of my CUM and while taking that picture, I wanked three times with a time gap of 1 hr between each wank. So that picture shows three of my cum loads, and that pic is my profile.
So from your observation if you could tell whether my three cum load amount is fine, or do you think that is less?? And if you say that is less then can you give me the %age difference you see in my cum amount and in normal cum amount.

AND PLEASE BE HONEST AND PLEASE SAY THE TRUTH
TA and secondly, do you do tit wank or anal sex"

Low tolerance at this time of the day...

"get a grip u f**king mentalist."


Id like to say "What a wanker" ................ but that is obvious aint it. ROFL.  ::) ;D ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 17 January 2013, 10:26:46 am
Quote from: Betty on 17 January 2013, 03:31:53 am


"hi,
I'm sorry to ask you this but I was little concerned about this matter so thought to ask you for your help. If you could kindly help
After a week without masturbation, I took this picture of my CUM and while taking that picture, I wanked three times with a time gap of 1 hr between each wank. So that picture shows three of my cum loads, and that pic is my profile.
So from your observation if you could tell whether my three cum load amount is fine, or do you think that is less?? And if you say that is less then can you give me the %age difference you see in my cum amount and in normal cum amount.

AND PLEASE BE HONEST AND PLEASE SAY THE TRUTH
TA and secondly, do you do tit wank or anal sex"

Low tolerance at this time of the day...

"get a grip u f**king mentalist."

I had this as well, obviously he's desparately spamming loads of girls - as LadyL said, my exact initial thought!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 17 January 2013, 11:52:53 am
I had just recieved a booking request from an adult work member for an hour  offering half the price i charge! I deleted it and so i called him, to inform him this was an error  he then started asking me if i was Jackie, and that i should admit i was( i AM NOT)  well i was quite calm and it took some convincing and encouraged him to cancel the booking as it was an error and i was not the woman he thought hed found !  on the rare occasion i have had to call the clients  under those circumstances who are making the bookings if in doubt or there is an error to clarify and try to prevent a misunderstanding. ::) 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 17 January 2013, 02:40:12 pm
Quote from: Orchid on 17 January 2013, 11:52:53 am
I had just recieved a booking request from an adult work member for an hour  offering half the price i charge! I deleted it and so i called him, to inform him this was an error  he then started asking me if i was Jackie, and that i should admit i was( i AM NOT)  well i was quite calm and it took some convincing and encouraged him to cancel the booking as it was an error and i was not the woman he thought hed found !  on the rare occasion i have had to call the clients  under those circumstances who are making the bookings if in doubt or there is an error to clarify and try to prevent a misunderstanding. ::)

I would have just deleted and dropped him a message to read my profile fully! Cretin! LOL!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 17 January 2013, 02:45:05 pm
I am looking to carry out a fantasy, but i thought i would send an email & make sure it is something you would be comfortable doing. Basically i like to be lightly mocked and humiliated for having a small cock during sex. I also like to worship women's feet in sheer stockings. I am not looking for the laughing and pointing kind of thing, more of the bitchy dom without the orders and 'yes mistress'. Its a pretty difficult happy medium lol!!

Going into detail,i would like us to be dressed,sitting on the edge of the bed,while feeling each other you slip your hands down my pants,then grab my cock really hard and tell me i have a tiny maggot (your character is not aware of this till you put your hands down). It then proceeds to us getting undressed and i lying on the floor while worshiping your sheer feet. Then after some foreplay (while you continue to talk dirty and mock me) we go to missionary while you wiggle your little pinky at me in disgust telling me to hurry up and cum. I love dirty talk, so the more the better

Tried to be a specific as possible,hope that helps. Look forward to hearing from you :-)


Thanks

Reading profile seems to be such a difficult task for some man ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SecretSadie on 18 January 2013, 11:34:20 pm
Conversation with some idiot:

Idiot: hey just interested in prices
Me: Names rates and refers to website
Idiot: I would like more pictures
Me: Refers back to website and comments that more photo's will be added soon
Idiot: I need face pics
Me: I don't provide photo's that clearly show my identity
Idiot: How about pussy then
Me: The photo's on my website are the only photo's available right now
Idiot: Take more then
Me: Please be patient
Idiot: No

I decided to give up, such a waste of credit, don't know why I even bothered.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 18 January 2013, 11:36:44 pm
Oh SS, you really are getting them today arent you?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SecretSadie on 18 January 2013, 11:40:18 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 18 January 2013, 11:36:44 pm
Oh SS, you really are getting them today arent you?
These are the only type of people I get to be honest that's why I'm considering to work for an agency even though I'd rather not.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 19 January 2013, 11:05:59 am
Quote from: SecretSadie on 18 January 2013, 11:40:18 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 18 January 2013, 11:36:44 pm
Oh SS, you really are getting them today arent you?
These are the only type of people I get to be honest that's why I'm considering to work for an agency even though I'd rather not.

Sadie, I see you are new to the forum, so welcome.  I do not know if you are new to prossying.

If you are you will probably find out this is the problem.  Yes, we all have to start somewhere however if you have put on your profile that you are new then you are going to get your fair share of TWATS.  It happens to everyone.  It happened to me when I started 7 years ago and nothing really has changed since then, bar the number of girls now who have joinged the business.

If you are just starting out then you have picked the worst time of the year to start but it will get it over with for you.  If you have put on your profile that you are new then I would advise to remove it for this is an extra target for the guys who target newbies.  There are enough hurdles to jump over without having to deal with them too.

Read the main site 2 or 3 times at least for what you dont take in the first or second time, you may take in on your third.

If you decide you would like to work for an outside body then that is up to you but I would reconsider giving up my independence for that type of work.  Perhaps you could work them side by side.  All depending on the time you have available to work.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SecretSadie on 19 January 2013, 11:43:11 am
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 19 January 2013, 11:05:59 am
Quote from: SecretSadie on 18 January 2013, 11:40:18 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 18 January 2013, 11:36:44 pm
Oh SS, you really are getting them today arent you?
These are the only type of people I get to be honest that's why I'm considering to work for an agency even though I'd rather not.

Sadie, I see you are new to the forum, so welcome.  I do not know if you are new to prossying.

If you are you will probably find out this is the problem.  Yes, we all have to start somewhere however if you have put on your profile that you are new then you are going to get your fair share of TWATS.  It happens to everyone.  It happened to me when I started 7 years ago and nothing really has changed since then, bar the number of girls now who have joinged the business.

If you are just starting out then you have picked the worst time of the year to start but it will get it over with for you.  If you have put on your profile that you are new then I would advise to remove it for this is an extra target for the guys who target newbies.  There are enough hurdles to jump over without having to deal with them too.

Read the main site 2 or 3 times at least for what you dont take in the first or second time, you may take in on your third.

If you decide you would like to work for an outside body then that is up to you but I would reconsider giving up my independence for that type of work.  Perhaps you could work them side by side.  All depending on the time you have available to work.

Hello LL,

Thanks, I am just starting as an escort. But I haven't posted anything about being new. However I have made my website without trying to copy any content of others and also I haven't looked at many escort website's, so maybe by reading it's content and seeing it, they me just sense that I'm a newby.
 
Thanks for the advise, I have read the main page only once and not fully. It's definitely very useful so I'm going to take my time and read through it a couple of times later today. And also make some changes to my website etc.

x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 19 January 2013, 07:04:15 pm
Got another bareback request today, sigh - the stupidity of some men if they honestly think escorts will just take their word for it when they say they've got no STDs  :FF

"Hi There, I?m a single professional gent relatively new to this sort of thing and I would be interested in having an overnight bareback GFE at my home with you if you?re interested?
Being still single I have the desire to try it bareback as this is something I still haven?t tried and I know I?m clean I try to look after my health and have been tested recently for my peace of mind.
Would you be interested in having an overnight bareback GFE with me..?"

I replied with:
"Hi {idiot},
No escort worth seeing will EVER do bareback. If an escort does bareback STDs like chlamydia can easily be picked up and spread to every client she sees.
Please do not ask escorts to risk their health, condoms these days are so good you can barely feel them.
Also, for all we know you could have an STD - why would we take your word for it?
I know I'd much rather not take a booking than risk my health and every other escort I know would agree with me."

It's not in my nature to be rude so hopefully he will read this and understand why bareback is dangerous. There's just no excuse for it, there's so much information about sexual health available I don't understand why people insist on being ignorant :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 19 January 2013, 09:30:17 pm
Got this email via my website.......

This may sound really random but I'm an artist from Gloucestershire working on loads of ideas and projects, and i was flicking through and I came across your self and I was just like WOW, this lady has something?.. so I thought i would drop you a line

I do body casting, also known as lifecasting, is the process of taking a mould directly from any part of the body to produce a sculpture.

Torsos, backs, bums, boobs, hands and feet, etc. are all possible. Lifecasts are extremely accurate with incredible detail and we can also enhance them to bring out your best features and smooth out anything else!

Now I think you have an amazing look and would love the chance to meet up and go over a few of these ideas with you. I dont charge for this and you get a copy of the casting too,
Let me know what you think

Regards

A more imaginative way than normal of getting to see a woman naked for free....just out of curiosity I sent this email....

Do you have a website, I mean a professional one not one you just knocked up quickly?  As you know full well you pay escorts for their time, not what happens in that time, so if you want to pay my escort rates I'm happy to discuss this.

Surprise surprise no reply to this!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimmy on 20 January 2013, 04:43:13 pm
Just had an email from a chancer on aw asking for a four hour outcall for my two hour rate....

The funniest thing is he's offering massages to women for 100 an hour!! 'no men' apparently. Bet he's making a killer..... ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 21 January 2013, 01:03:07 pm
I think I just threw up a little:

Hey gawjus,

u like my big fat cheesy rumple long baggy foreskin? can I put him over
your nose hun and watch u sniff my bell-cheese while I finger your tight
wet pussy and watch you eat my cheesy lizard?

... If your a good girl, I may even suck your savoury toes and cheesy
bum, mmm let me lick that yummy cheesy bumhole of yours gawjus, i'll
worship and clean u like u never have been before u sexy sod  xxx

thanks hun

best regards
cheesy dean xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 21 January 2013, 06:48:51 pm
That has got to be a wind up surely? OMG that's just gross  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saturnspirit on 21 January 2013, 10:04:03 pm
Quote from: Betty on 17 January 2013, 03:31:53 am


"hi,
I'm sorry to ask you this but I was little concerned about this matter so thought to ask you for your help. If you could kindly help
After a week without masturbation, I took this picture of my CUM and while taking that picture, I wanked three times with a time gap of 1 hr between each wank. So that picture shows three of my cum loads, and that pic is my profile.
So from your observation if you could tell whether my three cum load amount is fine, or do you think that is less?? And if you say that is less then can you give me the %age difference you see in my cum amount and in normal cum amount.

AND PLEASE BE HONEST AND PLEASE SAY THE TRUTH
TA and secondly, do you do tit wank or anal sex"

Low tolerance at this time of the day...

"get a grip u f**king mentalist."

Yep I had this one the other day on aw! Just added to the blacklist. Sounds like a silly little teenage boy!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mysterious leicester on 22 January 2013, 12:40:41 am
My latest one....

Sure its a cut and paste, any others got this?

Hi love
I?m 18 and need little help from you.
In my profile there is a picture of cum. So can you please tell by your professional experience as to how much cum shots you think there are, less than one load, one load, etc.
Regards and please do help as this helps me a lot. It wont even take you a minute BUT your answer will serve me a great help

My reply:

Please help me. my eye sight is not too good so i need ?200 to buy some contact lenses & see your photos...it won't take you a minute to send me it but your money will serve me great help.....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 22 January 2013, 12:47:02 am
Quote from: Coty on 21 January 2013, 06:48:51 pm
That has got to be a wind up surely? OMG that's just gross  :-X

Yeah - his notes on AW show he was likely sending this msg or something similar to a lot of girls today, we just ignored and didn't give him the pleasure of a response.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 22 January 2013, 09:50:12 am
do these callers, texters and emailers have nothing better to do with their time?, they need to get a life or a blow up doll and for some even a penis enlarger pump.  ::) 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyofthemansion on 22 January 2013, 04:57:07 pm
I remember when I was new at this and I accepte my first booking by text. After an hour of him saying he was on way and bombarding me with texts asking what I was wearing he then texted one minute before the booking time to say he wasn't coming.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lunar Moon on 22 January 2013, 05:52:51 pm
Quote from: ladyofthemansion on 22 January 2013, 04:57:07 pm
I remember when I was new at this and I accepte my first booking by text. After an hour of him saying he was on way and bombarding me with texts asking what I was wearing he then texted one minute before the booking time to say he wasn't coming.

Oh yes the What are you wearing alarm bells question for me that after taking a booking .... I always reply " I don't discuss anything at all via text, are you definitely coming at ???"

Not always right but 80% of guys who ask you that are TW's in my experience.

As for old Phil the texter why don't you just block his texts - I have done that to a few irritating idiots myself.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: delillahd on 22 January 2013, 08:19:20 pm
I just got a little gem today.

I signed up for a local recommendation board and within two minutes of creating my account a random man with less that 10 posts sent me this:

Hi

I woulld love to know more about your services and donations details. If you have pictures, it would be great.

Thanks

Several things, 1) I JUST joined, don't be such a creep. 2) You made some spelling errors, not cute. 3) Newbie chaser much? 4) I have not made a single post on this board, why you so eager?

Yuck, yuck, yuck.

I'm going to be polite and direct him to my website where he will find out I have Rates NOT Donations.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 23 January 2013, 04:22:48 am
"I need some help from you. As you see many men small and big. So do men with smaller balls and cock also cum small?
I?ve a small cock (Pictures in my profile). The picture showing my cum is of my THREE cum loads. So is that cum fine for three loads or is it less?
Please do help. I?m 18 and inexperienced. I really like to know myself. So please be honest. It wont take you a minute BUT your help will be really important for me to understand about myself."

I told him to fuck off.
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 23 January 2013, 05:27:53 pm
Quote from: MissKylie on 23 January 2013, 04:22:48 am
"I need some help from you. As you see many men small and big. So do men with smaller balls and cock also cum small?
I?ve a small cock (Pictures in my profile). The picture showing my cum is of my THREE cum loads. So is that cum fine for three loads or is it less?
Please do help. I?m 18 and inexperienced. I really like to know myself. So please be honest. It wont take you a minute BUT your help will be really important for me to understand about myself."

I told him to fuck off.

He's doing the rounds (see above). I just received it too, reported him as a spammer.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsummer on 23 January 2013, 08:11:32 pm
Just had this lovely message accompanied by loads of nude/cock pics, including his face.  ::)

Hi,

i saw your ad and i am interested to meet you this sunday for one hour(incall).

I need your below services and i wanted to really enjoy sex with you as like in porn and i am so desirous about that and i  will try to satisfy you.

- direct cock suck without condom
- french kiss ( i really love that with you)
- cum 3 times

If you are ok please reply me honey,,,,,,,,,,,,,,i really need you and you are like my dream blonde girl.
i went to some but they are fully money minded i simply wasted my money :(
i hope you wont disappoint me!!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 23 January 2013, 09:30:34 pm
Quote from: Adriana on 23 January 2013, 08:11:32 pm

- cum 3 times

I!!!

He'd better be booking more than an hour or it would be one of those "under pressure " and "feeling rushed and harrassed to get him to come " jobs ......... of course he will know he cant come 3 times in 1hr  and will prob expect to stay longer for free
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsummer on 23 January 2013, 10:38:02 pm
I know! Two times is doable, but three! My favorite line from him is this 'i wanted to really enjoy sex with you as like in porn and i am so desirous about that'. It cracks me up  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SecretSadie on 24 January 2013, 11:10:03 pm

Quote from: SexyBiAmy & James on 21 January 2013, 01:03:07 pm
I think I just threw up a little:

Hey gawjus,

u like my big fat cheesy rumple long baggy foreskin? can I put him over
your nose hun and watch u sniff my bell-cheese while I finger your tight
wet pussy and watch you eat my cheesy lizard?

... If your a good girl, I may even suck your savoury toes and cheesy
bum, mmm let me lick that yummy cheesy bumhole of yours gawjus, i'll
worship and clean u like u never have been before u sexy sod  xxx

thanks hun

best regards
cheesy dean xxx

Watching the movie saw12345 never made feel as sick as I feel now... :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Redhead on 24 January 2013, 11:13:08 pm
Had a guy on Twitter asking if he could see me - with his male labrador - so he could watch me having sex with said labrador every other day. He is in Australia.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 24 January 2013, 11:21:23 pm
As someone who specialises in the GFE I seem to be getting a lot more domme requests than normal! Simple requests to meet followed by "I'm a sub, I want verbal humiliation, I want fisting, blah blah blah..." I'm actually wondering if I'm missing out! Just doesn't do it for me unfortunately and the OH said earlier to just get on with it and stop being daft! Only seeing a few guys a week I'd rather do what I enjoy!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 25 January 2013, 12:03:59 am
Quote from: DianaMurphy on 24 January 2013, 11:21:23 pm
As someone who specialises in the GFE I seem to be getting a lot more domme requests than normal! Simple requests to meet followed by "I'm a sub, I want verbal humiliation, I want fisting, blah blah blah..." I'm actually wondering if I'm missing out! Just doesn't do it for me unfortunately and the OH said earlier to just get on with it and stop being daft! Only seeing a few guys a week I'd rather do what I enjoy!  ::)


I so wish I could do it...I'm the same keep getting men wanting dominating, and it's just not in me! I'm a sub myself so find it really impossible to reverse rolls, and I can't hurt a fly! Had a rich Arab offering me loads 2 nights ago....could kick myself for not being able to do it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 25 January 2013, 12:12:45 pm
Hi,

I am Engineer Matteo from United States,I took medical check up very
serious.You can reach me on +40563336**. I just check your ads out on
the site forum and found you so cool and your profile match my search
criteria,so i decided to pick you.I will need you to escort me on
vacation tour to Africa/Nigeria on the 25th of March,this year,and i
will be there for 8 days,we will be staying in one of the best Hotel
in Nigeria.I am ready to offer you a good sum,hope 2000 dollars per
day will be okay for one week?Upfront payment will be sent to you even
before you leave your country and all necessary documents which you
will be needing to travel with me will be arranged by me including
your flight ticket.Okay?Additionally,i will be very happy to know if
you will be available to travel with me,and to know more about
you,also i want you to be honest with me and not a time waster.Okay?i
will send you my pics and i will need more of yours too.so feel free
to get back to me if you are willing to travel with me so as to
discuss the trip asap because im always a busy person,my email is
matteosny1@scammer .com
Hoping to read back from you soon.

Regards
Matteo


YAAAAAAAAAAAAAWN....and delete/block!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 25 January 2013, 05:29:28 pm
I went through all the detail of price etc then told me he was at a library omg. Repeating my prices back so said sorry bye hung up.

Jeezz... Talk about making it obvious.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SubCharlotte on 25 January 2013, 05:37:48 pm
Quote from: Friday on 12 January 2013, 07:38:17 pm
Hi
I am really into role play and am looking for someone to play with, I would like to see you tomorrow for an hour to try out the scenario belowlet me know what you think:
You are dressed as a schoolgirl (but with hold-up stockings, either tan or black and no bra or knickers) and are sent to me for ?playing? with the boys, I tell you off for your behaviour and tell you that any man who you act like that with will want to lift your skirt up and fuck you. You, not believing, this saunter over and sit on my knee, kiss me for some time and say you wouldn't mind that, still believing that nothing will come of it! I say O.K. and then insist that you strip to your stockings for me, you then panic and try to wheedle out of it, and I spank you and force you to perform the striptease, Then, as I want to see you cum, I suggest you masturbate using your fingers, this is only achieved after more spanking to force you. I then tell you that all sluts like giving a B.J. you say you?re not a slut and the spanking needs to be augmented by use of implements. When you start to beg to give a B.J. and I give in you are so grateful you also rim my arsehole and thank me when I cum in your mouth.
You are now very horny and start acting like a total slut, rubbing your pussy against me and kissing and fondling me non-stop. I give in to you and lick and finger your pussy and arsehole as well as using a vibrator to make you cum.
You are still horny and continue acting the slut telling me you want fucked bareback; in fact you think you?d like a finger(or dildo) in your arse at the same time, obviously every slut gets what she wants!
What do you think? Are you up for it?

I got one really similar to this but he was only in for one night...... guess nobody went to see him haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 25 January 2013, 11:59:28 pm
Just got this gem:

Hi Amy, I'm Steve,

How are you? I'm a young guy looking to improve his tantric sex!

I have a challenge for you if you choose to accept?

Basically I would be tied to the bed (do you have equipment?), then you are allowed to use whatever techniques you want to make me cum in the hour session.

If you succeed and make be blow my load I will pay you an extra ?50 on top of the ?120 for the booking fee. However if I succeed in my tantric training challenge and don't cum within the hour then I get ?50 off my next booking, which would be for two hours with the same conditions in place but it goes up to ?100 and then the next session would be for 3 hours etc....

Is this ok, if so please let me know your availability for next weekend!

Hope to see you soon
Steve xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 26 January 2013, 10:18:50 am
Quote from: Coty on 25 January 2013, 12:03:59 am
Quote from: DianaMurphy on 24 January 2013, 11:21:23 pm
As someone who specialises in the GFE I seem to be getting a lot more domme requests than normal! Simple requests to meet followed by "I'm a sub, I want verbal humiliation, I want fisting, blah blah blah..." I'm actually wondering if I'm missing out! Just doesn't do it for me unfortunately and the OH said earlier to just get on with it and stop being daft! Only seeing a few guys a week I'd rather do what I enjoy!  ::)


I so wish I could do it...I'm the same keep getting men wanting dominating, and it's just not in me! I'm a sub myself so find it really impossible to reverse rolls, and I can't hurt a fly! Had a rich Arab offering me loads 2 nights ago....could kick myself for not being able to do it.

I'm the same Coty, although I am able to relax and be a bit more domme with regulars who I know a lot better, it's something I'm working on but the idea of meeting a complete stranger and acting out a role that doesn't come naturally to me terrifies me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 26 January 2013, 05:41:04 pm
WTF has happened?? I go 2+ years on AW with just a couple of "fancy doing a duo shoot" messages during that whole time, yet in the last 12 hours I have received THREE! All different people, all wanting duo photo or film shoots with me!

I don't even offer solo filming/photos, so I dunno why the gates have suddenly been opened to my profile >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 26 January 2013, 06:19:22 pm

Subject:    hoping to be of use xx

Hello Misss i so wanted to ask you something which is i found out i can do my ass with my own cock also used a high heel (toe end) beer bottle (bottom end frist) and recored it on video , If you like the video as i'd love to be pimped out may i send you the video to see what you think and sell on profile? you keep everything video makes? plus i would love to book a session sometime after jan :) Thanks simon x x x

Words fail me.....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 27 January 2013, 01:39:00 am
Quote from: sarahbelle on 26 January 2013, 06:19:22 pm

Subject:    hoping to be of use xx

Hello Misss i so wanted to ask you something which is i found out i can do my ass with my own cock also used a high heel (toe end) beer bottle (bottom end frist) and recored it on video , If you like the video as i'd love to be pimped out may i send you the video to see what you think and sell on profile? you keep everything video makes? plus i would love to book a session sometime after jan :) Thanks simon x x x

Words fail me.....

Had that before !!! I replied " please ring to make a booking" ....he never did.

Any email that i suspect may be a TW  gets that same reply. The odd one will turn out to be genuine  , but not many ! When your gut instinct says TW it usually is , they never make the call and if they email again they get the same copy n paste reply.

Send a copy n paste message = get a copy n paste reply !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 27 January 2013, 02:20:42 pm
This has just dropped into my inbox - I may just play along for a laugh

Greetings, I must say I am very glad that my gaze has met your virtual representation.

Im Steven , 27 year old from Lanarkshire but work in carlisle- im a young professional with a stable income seeking a once a month arrangement with a local lady. I am looking for something really regular once per month.


I am actually in a relationship, and although I can afford to pay full fee's I cannot discreetly hide large amounts of money each month. I am looking to pay around ?50 every month for a humiliation session. Again I do not aim to offend at all- but I cannot risk my relationship.I would pay this every month. I enjoy basicaly being dominated and humiliated- I hope you can cater for this.

I can also subsidies my smaller payment by working for you in other ways. I can create websites- and am a keen photographer/videographer. I know you may hear this alot, but i have a lighting kit and a first class photography degree- which I can display on meeting. Again I hope this doesn't offend.

I really hope you may consider this, as your exactly what I am seeking looks wise. Please reply even if it's a no as this email has taken a lot of effort.

Kind regards,

Steven.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 27 January 2013, 02:26:05 pm
Quote from: reneesme on 27 January 2013, 02:20:42 pm
This has just dropped into my inbox - I may just play along for a laugh

Greetings, I must say I am very glad that my gaze has met your virtual representation.

Im Steven , 27 year old from Lanarkshire but work in carlisle- im a young professional with a stable income seeking a once a month arrangement with a local lady. I am looking for something really regular once per month.

I am actually in a relationship, and although I can afford to pay full fee's I cannot discreetly hide large amounts of money each month. I am looking to pay around ?50 every month for a humiliation session. Again I do not aim to offend at all- but I cannot risk my relationship.I would pay this every month. I enjoy basicaly being dominated and humiliated- I hope you can cater for this.

I can also subsidies my smaller payment by working for you in other ways. I can create websites- and am a keen photographer/videographer. I know you may hear this alot, but i have a lighting kit and a first class photography degree- which I can display on meeting. Again I hope this doesn't offend.

I really hope you may consider this, as your exactly what I am seeking looks wise. Please reply even if it's a no as this email has taken a lot of effort.

Kind regards,

Steven.

I had this exact email probably 4 months ago!

Lot of effort my arse! 14 TW comments about him and thats probably just the tip of the iceberg.......
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 27 January 2013, 02:33:04 pm
well what do you know, I replied and he chose a time that isn't in my availability and that is the only time he can do - IDIOT!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 27 January 2013, 04:35:35 pm
Quote from: Nameless on 27 January 2013, 02:26:05 pm
Quote from: reneesme on 27 January 2013, 02:20:42 pm
This has just dropped into my inbox - I may just play along for a laugh

Greetings, I must say I am very glad that my gaze has met your virtual representation.

Im Steven , 27 year old from Lanarkshire but work in carlisle- im a young professional with a stable income seeking a once a month arrangement with a local lady. I am looking for something really regular once per month.

I am actually in a relationship, and although I can afford to pay full fee's I cannot discreetly hide large amounts of money each month. I am looking to pay around ?50 every month for a humiliation session. Again I do not aim to offend at all- but I cannot risk my relationship.I would pay this every month. I enjoy basicaly being dominated and humiliated- I hope you can cater for this.

I can also subsidies my smaller payment by working for you in other ways. I can create websites- and am a keen photographer/videographer. I know you may hear this alot, but i have a lighting kit and a first class photography degree- which I can display on meeting. Again I hope this doesn't offend.

I really hope you may consider this, as your exactly what I am seeking looks wise. Please reply even if it's a no as this email has taken a lot of effort.

Kind regards,

Steven.

I had this exact email probably 4 months ago!

Lot of effort my arse! 14 TW comments about him and thats probably just the tip of the iceberg.......

He contacted me some time ago, same email too. It's cut and paste and I asked him why if he'd put so much effort into his email he'd (a) sent exactly the same to numerous other ladies and (b)not noticed I'm not 'local' to him, although he does seem to have added the Carlisle bit recently.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 27 January 2013, 08:15:37 pm
Quote from: reneesme on 27 January 2013, 02:20:42 pm
This has just dropped into my inbox - I may just play along for a laugh

Greetings, I must say I am very glad that my gaze has met your virtual representation.

Im Steven , 27 year old from Lanarkshire but work in carlisle- im a young professional with a stable income seeking a once a month arrangement with a local lady. I am looking for something really regular once per month.


I am actually in a relationship, and although I can afford to pay full fee's I cannot discreetly hide large amounts of money each month. I am looking to pay around £50 every month for a humiliation session. Again I do not aim to offend at all- but I cannot risk my relationship.I would pay this every month. I enjoy basicaly being dominated and humiliated- I hope you can cater for this.

I can also subsidies my smaller payment by working for you in other ways. I can create websites- and am a keen photographer/videographer. I know you may hear this alot, but i have a lighting kit and a first class photography degree- which I can display on meeting. Again I hope this doesn't offend.

I really hope you may consider this, as your exactly what I am seeking looks wise. Please reply even if it's a no as this email has taken a lot of effort.

Kind regards,

Steven.

He should advertise himself for free on gumtree instead of bothering escorts  !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EmilyJones on 28 January 2013, 09:42:47 am
Quote
[...] Please reply even if it's a no as this email has taken a lot of effort.

He should put that effort into his career, and then he'd be able to afford to book any escort he liked! :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 28 January 2013, 06:20:49 pm

Well hey babe, how you doing? New to this then? I'd love to get to know you more. Why are you single???

Have a look at my profile and pic and see what you think of me? Unlike most people - I've got a completed profile :-).

I run my own adult website (I don't do anything sexual myself! People upload their own videos and pics etc). Unlike most guys, I'm not looking for sex of ANY kind. I actually don't like casual sex at all and have never booked an escort in my life. I much prefer being in a long term loving relationship with someone I WANT to be with. I would like to be with someone who is also in the industry, not having to lie about what you do (cause I'm not a liar) or be judged by ignorant, prudish people who don't understand. Must be the same for you eh?

I'm not like most guys, who are controlling and possessive and want to take away your independence, check up on you all the time and tell you what you can and can't do. I'm easy going, fun, bubbly and happy go lucky. I don't do stress, arguments or agro, life's for having a good time right!?

It would be lovely to get to know you. Tell me about yourself, What guys do you go for (personality wise) and how you finding this site? Do you think you're single because you're worried about guys getting to close and then taking away your independence? Or afraid they will cheat and hurt you? I'm just curious? I'm nothing like any of that by the way.

Hope to speak soon,
Scott x
 
This fucking idiot has filled his whole adultwork profile out with his interests from what food and movies he likes to his likes and dislikes in a person and how he wants a loving realationship lol! He claims to be 30 but looks 18. Well I definitely gave him a piece of my mind that's all I can say!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 28 January 2013, 06:33:06 pm
Good grief. There are sooooo many young bloody idiots around. It's like they've been cloned.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SecretSadie on 29 January 2013, 08:51:49 pm
I got this message two days ago:

 OK lets get this out of the way; I am 15 years old, a virgin and I want to have sex with you for free. But remember that after one or two meet-ups, i would become amaing and make you squirt like the fountain next in the middle of town. The virgin thing, is actually a good thing because we will both have a night to remember.

Please reply babe.

I am free Monday and Wednesday of this week.

 Needless to say I didn't reply.. :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady c on 29 January 2013, 09:21:19 pm
I know we get timewasters but tonight i had an enquiry.
he asked my availability for friday and said he was working from home so i said ok thats fine what time? he sent his postcode so i could check distance it was no problem 17 mins.. then he text saying what do u think to my suggestion?, i said suggestion or booking, he said suggestion, in other words a freebie. I text back get lost you timewaster. His reply sorry i offended.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JuicyGemma on 29 January 2013, 11:10:19 pm
Hi everyone,

I got this email from 'p********@gmail.com' straight to my email address with no idea as to what site he found me on. he said:


"Dear Gemma:
 
I am going to be in town on business for a week and am looking for a young lady to join me for dinner and overnight each night.  7PM until 7AM and CASH is no problem.  If you are interested please send a pic of your breasts and ass and I will call you.
 
Sincerely,
 
Peter"

So of course I will send him a closeup picture of my goods as he asked, yeah right  :FF

I emailed him back saying that this is an escort service for gentlemen and I will be doing no such thing, i even told him to have a nice dinner.

The cheeky bugger replied saying;

"That attitude is why you're in this situation.  Good luck"

I dont know about you girls, but I am in no way in a bad position, I quite love my job to death  ;D

Just a heads up for any women out there to watch out for this charmless rat.



Email address censored

Woops! Thought I posted this on warnings, sorry Mods!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Foxing on 29 January 2013, 11:19:12 pm
Naming your wife and saying how frigid she is  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 29 January 2013, 11:22:05 pm
Quote from: JuicyGemma on 29 January 2013, 11:10:19 pm
Woops! Thought I posted this on warnings, sorry Mods!

It was in Warnings, and I moved it to here because a random bloke sending a stupid email is not sufficient ground for posting in the Warnings section - anybody receiving this email would have just ignored his request so there's nothing to warn anybody about.

The Rules for Posting Warnings are at the top of the section, and the child board for persistent timewasters has one too - please read them before posting there :).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ana30 on 29 January 2013, 11:26:03 pm
Quote
This fucking idiot has filled his whole adultwork profile out with his interests from what food and movies he likes to his likes and dislikes in a person and how he wants a loving realationship lol! He claims to be 30 but looks 18. Well I definitely gave him a piece of my mind that's all I can say!

Why didn't you send him to match.com?  Sorry stupid question, I'm sure he's already there and looking for women he can have sex in exchange of money.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nevah on 30 January 2013, 12:36:48 pm
Hi Ladies

I got an email from AW from a man called "Russ" asking to see me for 3 days. It sounded good until he said that I could use his hotel room and take incalls while he was out. Then he proceeded to say that he wouldnt pay me for my time because he is letting me use his hotel room. He tried to sugar coat this deal by saying he didnt want tons of sex from me although I would have to have sex with him at some point. The last part of he deal was he would pay for drinks and dinner out for both of us .

This guy tried to say he has done this with other girls and it worked. As far as I can see he is only after free sex.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sade on 30 January 2013, 12:38:52 pm
that is ridiculous and very cheeky. I used to get that when I was a newbie. I would never accept.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nevah on 30 January 2013, 12:58:14 pm
Quote from: sade on 30 January 2013, 12:38:52 pm
that is ridiculous and very cheeky. I used to get that when I was a newbie. I would never accept.

I graciously told him that is the dumbest offer I have ever heard. I even told him that everyone knows about his offer and its being talked about amongst us within community and not to bother any of the other ladies with this stellar deal
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aussie Male Escort on 30 January 2013, 01:18:53 pm
If he expected to share the hotel room, then it's not worth it IMO. An overnighter is worth way more than what he'd be spending on the room and dinner and drinks with a client is work, not payment..

It can be good value if he's just paying for the room, having his fun for an hour, then leaving, but you'd need to be very clear about what he would, and wouldn't, be getting in exchange.. Ideally see him for a 1 hour session first to make sure he's ok.

I mentioned on here that a client I met in Dubai agreed to pay for a return ticket from Milan to Dubai and my hotel for a week in return for 1 session per day. He'd said he would only come to my hotel for his daily massage and sex, wouldn't be sleeping over, would give me plenty of notice what time he was coming over and that I'd be seeing other clients. He was fine about keeping to that agreement and didn't push for more. I did agree to do 2 duos with other male escorts which I don't usually do but that was my choice.

I ended up extending my stay and staying there for nearly a month. He paid for the first week in the hotel and paid half my hotel bill for the second week. I only saw him 10 times the whole time I was there and business was very good so it worked out really well for me.

Be careful though, with a disrespectful, boundary pushing client, this kind of arrangement could turn into a nightmare..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nevah on 30 January 2013, 02:02:37 pm
Quote from: Aussie Male Escort on 30 January 2013, 01:18:53 pm
If he expected to share the hotel room, then it's not worth it IMO. An overnighter is worth way more than what he'd be spending on the room and dinner and drinks with a client is work, not payment..

It can be good value if he's just paying for the room, having his fun for an hour, then leaving, but you'd need to be very clear about what he would, and wouldn't, be getting in exchange.. Ideally see him for a 1 hour session first to make sure he's ok.

I mentioned on here that a client I met in Dubai agreed to pay for a return ticket from Milan to Dubai and my hotel for a week in return for 1 session per day. He'd said he would only come to my hotel for his daily massage and sex, wouldn't be sleeping over, would give me plenty of notice what time he was coming over and that I'd be seeing other clients. He was fine about keeping to that agreement and didn't push for more. I did agree to do 2 duos with other male escorts which I don't usually do but that was my choice.

I ended up extending my stay and staying there for nearly a month. He paid for the first week in the hotel and paid half my hotel bill for the second week. I only saw him 10 times the whole time I was there and business was very good so it worked out really well for me.

Be careful though, with a disrespectful, boundary pushing client, this kind of arrangement could turn into a nightmare..


He didnt want money from me he thought that letting me use his room was doing me a favor??? I said to him that my rates are reasonable there were no frills to meeting me and why doesnt he just book me for the hour or whatever. I even tried telling him what you said book me over night and he will save in the long run.

I hope to never run into the kind of client you had in Duabi.

I think what he was trying to do is... have the company he works for pay the room and pay for food and drinks. So basically he wont even spend any of his own money. I told him people are talking about him and not to bother the ladies around here.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aussie Male Escort on 30 January 2013, 02:37:17 pm
You might have misunderstood what I wrote.. Sorry if it wasn't clear. I'm not sure which bit you were referring to when you said

Quote
he didn't want money from me?


You also said
Quote
I hope to never run into the kind of client you had in Duabi.


but my client in Dubai spent about ?3000 on plane tickets and hotel rooms for me.. At my hourly rate the time I spent with him would have cost him ?2500 so I came out ?500 ahead. I saved a lot working there so I'm very happy I met him and made this arrangement.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: StephanieDandy on 31 January 2013, 12:18:20 pm
Tell you what else is annoying...  Conversations like this:

Him:  Hi Stephanie, I have seen your profile and would like to come and see you at 3 today.  Are you available?

Me:  Yes, this is fine, I can do then.  Would you like my address?

Him:  I will call back when I know what I am doing...

Why bother??  Then usually they never call back!  Grr just call me when you can DEFINITELY come over!  That gets right on my milks, that one, and variations of! x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 31 January 2013, 03:16:05 pm
Quote from: StephanieDandy on 31 January 2013, 12:11:04 pm
God it's SO annoying isn't it??  Still, it's an annoying part of the job we do, sadly...

I have a rule NEVER to enter a texting dialogue, unless it's someone I have seen and know he will definitely come.  The other day I had to break my own rule because I was with a friend and had to arrange this booking by stupid text messages which I hate.

Of course, he never came to the six pm appointment, when I called he didn't answer, just sent a text saying 'sorry babe, at work still'  But I knew that anyway.

I should have known after the 30 messages going on about 'will u finger me' as I was chopping up vegetables for my dinner.  Nice, ey?

What a time to get that text preparing dinner. Alarm bells when they talk the cock stimulating chat.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: StephanieDandy on 31 January 2013, 03:19:30 pm
Quote from: meetingdiversity on 31 January 2013, 03:16:05 pm
Quote from: StephanieDandy on 31 January 2013, 12:11:04 pm
God it's SO annoying isn't it??  Still, it's an annoying part of the job we do, sadly...

I have a rule NEVER to enter a texting dialogue, unless it's someone I have seen and know he will definitely come.  The other day I had to break my own rule because I was with a friend and had to arrange this booking by stupid text messages which I hate.

Of course, he never came to the six pm appointment, when I called he didn't answer, just sent a text saying 'sorry babe, at work still'  But I knew that anyway.

I should have known after the 30 messages going on about 'will u finger me' as I was chopping up vegetables for my dinner.  Nice, ey?

What a time to get that text preparing dinner. Alarm bells when they talk the cock stimulating chat.

Indeed!  It seemed quite apt to be slicing up carrots when I was getting irritated by such texting nonesense though!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maisie on 31 January 2013, 05:07:30 pm
I've just ranted on a non-escort forum about this app.  Go very carefully as I put the app on my iPhone because my daughter insisted.  It automatically adds everyone you've ever known (I tend to keep ALL phone numbers so I know who to not answer).  Last week I had an inbox chat request (with a photo) of someone I've been trying to lose from my life for almost a year.  What's frightening is that I've changed my phone number twice since the last contact I had with this person.  But because they were on my contacts list I got added to theirs.  At this point I don't know whether they actually have my new number, or just had the option to message me without knowing it.  I'm done with trying to find out and scouring places like Yahoo Answers etc.  I've just deleted the app.  But really how dangerous is that ? 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 31 January 2013, 06:30:00 pm
Just had an email from a guy wanting to pay for his booking in adultwork credits! now ive blocked him ... piss taker. :FF
what am i supposed to do then? pay for my petrol and shopping with aw credits  !!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: aya on 31 January 2013, 06:56:43 pm
Quote from: Orchid on 31 January 2013, 06:30:00 pm
Just had an email from a guy wanting to pay for his booking in adultwork credits!!!
lol would I be a fool to consider this?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sade on 31 January 2013, 07:28:57 pm
Quote from: Orchid on 31 January 2013, 06:30:00 pm
Just had an email from a guy wanting to pay for his booking in adultwork credits! now ive blocked him ... piss taker. :FF
what am i supposed to do then? pay for my petrol and shopping with aw credits  !!!!

that is soooo funny...looool . the things people can come up with...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 31 January 2013, 07:51:56 pm
Quote from: sade on 31 January 2013, 07:28:57 pm
Quote from: Orchid on 31 January 2013, 06:30:00 pm
Just had an email from a guy wanting to pay for his booking in adultwork credits! now ive blocked him ... piss taker. :FF
what am i supposed to do then? pay for my petrol and shopping with aw credits  !!!!

that is soooo funny...looool . the things people can come up with...

Some people do expect to pay in this way, and some accept it. Considering the large (30% cut) AW take if you cash any credits in, I'd not recommend doing this regularly especially with their habit of pulling profiles and credits. You could however opt to fund featuring, telephone number display or buy items from their shop without losing out(although it all goes back to them in the end!).

Suggesting they pay an extra 30% to cover the AW 'convertion' fee usually puts them off.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 01 February 2013, 08:26:53 am
Quote from: Strawberry on 31 January 2013, 07:51:56 pm
Quote from: sade on 31 January 2013, 07:28:57 pm
Quote from: Orchid on 31 January 2013, 06:30:00 pm
Just had an email from a guy wanting to pay for his booking in adultwork credits! now ive blocked him ... piss taker. :FF
what am i supposed to do then? pay for my petrol and shopping with aw credits  !!!!

that is soooo funny...looool . the things people can come up with...

Some people do expect to pay in this way, and some accept it. Considering the large (30% cut) AW take if you cash any credits in, I'd not recommend doing this regularly especially with their habit of pulling profiles and credits. You could however opt to fund featuring, telephone number display or buy items from their shop without losing out(although it all goes back to them in the end!).

Suggesting they pay an extra 30% to cover the AW 'convertion' fee usually puts them off.

I took a job paid in AWcredits with the extra 30% top up. So far so good. Did by taking webcam bookings split into sizeable chunks.

The following day AW reversed them with an email saying that they believed I had infringed the terms of the site by transferring money between profiles illegally. So no money for the job!

I texted the bloke as it was over 200, and at least he did the decent thing. Well it has been an outcall to his family home so I knew where he lived.  I bet I would not have seen a penny if it had been an incall.  Wont be doing that again.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 01 February 2013, 08:48:53 am
Quote from: pandora on 01 February 2013, 08:26:53 am
Quote from: Strawberry on 31 January 2013, 07:51:56 pm
Quote from: sade on 31 January 2013, 07:28:57 pm
Quote from: Orchid on 31 January 2013, 06:30:00 pm
Just had an email from a guy wanting to pay for his booking in adultwork credits! now ive blocked him ... piss taker. :FF
what am i supposed to do then? pay for my petrol and shopping with aw credits  !!!!

that is soooo funny...looool . the things people can come up with...

Some people do expect to pay in this way, and some accept it. Considering the large (30% cut) AW take if you cash any credits in, I'd not recommend doing this regularly especially with their habit of pulling profiles and credits. You could however opt to fund featuring, telephone number display or buy items from their shop without losing out(although it all goes back to them in the end!).

Suggesting they pay an extra 30% to cover the AW 'convertion' fee usually puts them off.

I took a job paid in AWcredits with the extra 30% top up. So far so good. Did by taking webcam bookings split into sizeable chunks.

The following day AW reversed them with an email saying that they believed I had infringed the terms of the site by transferring money between profiles illegally. So no money for the job!

I texted the bloke as it was over 200, and at least he did the decent thing. Well it has been an outcall to his family home so I knew where he lived.  I bet I would not have seen a penny if it had been an incall.  Wont be doing that again.

I did have a feeling it can be reversable or disputable.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 01 February 2013, 10:48:56 am
Its cash for me upfront on a booking or no booking takes place simple rule works every time.
aw credits is worthless to me i have enough of them anyway
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ashinherts on 01 February 2013, 06:11:00 pm
This guy sent me three texts:

"babe are you about to??? xxxx"

"plz"

"need an hour"

I'm forgiving on the terrible spelling/grammar, but my profile says "Don't text, I can't reply" all over it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 01 February 2013, 06:16:02 pm
Quote from: ashinherts on 01 February 2013, 06:11:00 pm
This guy sent me three texts:

"babe are you about to??? xxxx"

"plz"

"need an hour"

I'm forgiving on the terrible spelling/grammar, but my profile says "Don't text, I can't reply" all over it.

I have "I do not reply to text messages" in about 4 different places on my profile, never puts them off, quite the opposite, they get very creative with all the different excuses as to why they can't call lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Friday on 03 February 2013, 12:42:13 pm
Amazing Reverse booking I'm the girls in my area will all fight over...

Bit skint at moment so will give u a month old iPad for ur time looking for sex,anal, oral, cim, outside or in ur car, loads of places at my bit u can't be seen, if interested in this offer get in touch


 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 03 February 2013, 01:56:12 pm
Quote from: Friday on 03 February 2013, 12:42:13 pm
Amazing Reverse booking I'm the girls in my area will all fight over...

Bit skint at moment so will give u a month old iPad for ur time looking for sex,anal, oral, cim, outside or in ur car, loads of places at my bit u can't be seen, if interested in this offer get in touch


 :FF

look why dosnt he just stick to gum tree !!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luvmylips on 03 February 2013, 09:14:33 pm

Hello, how are you?,

Sorry to be a bother but I was wondering if i could maybe ask a couple of questions about your services.

What it is, I'm in the area on work, getting bored in the evenings and weekends on my own, so decide to register here and give this ago. Well I am into some rather, shall we say odd, things, so I was wondering I'd be looking for a session that included full weight facesitting, ass worship, smothering, foot worship, love it when they smell, trampling, stomping, human furniture, face slapping, spitting, name calling towards me, racial names again towards me, and could the watersports be in my mouth?

Thank you for your time and I hope I never disturbed you.

Paul.

Why oh why can't men just read? I think actions like this are deliberate!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 03 February 2013, 10:07:07 pm
Voicemail left at 4.37 am this morning.....

I bet your mam is really proud ha ha

I was actually so incensed that how dare he judge me for what I do and be so cowardly as to phone when he knew he'd get voicemail that I phoned back to say:

I bet your mam is really proud too and if you contact me again in this manner I will be calling the police

Just so long as I put him off phoning ANY escort in this manner again.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 03 February 2013, 10:44:14 pm
Quote from: Nameless on 03 February 2013, 10:07:07 pm
Voicemail left at 4.37 am this morning.....

I bet your mam is really proud ha ha

I was actually so incensed that how dare he judge me for what I do and be so cowardly as to phone when he knew he'd get voicemail that I phoned back to say:

I bet your mam is really proud too and if you contact me again in this manner I will be calling the police

Just so long as I put him off phoning ANY escort in this manner again.

Good for you, what a wanker! And how did he come across your number? Sanctimonious prick!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 04 February 2013, 10:33:19 am
Quote from: Luvmylips on 03 February 2013, 09:14:33 pm

Hello, how are you?,

Sorry to be a bother but I was wondering if i could maybe ask a couple of questions about your services.

What it is, I'm in the area on work, getting bored in the evenings and weekends on my own, so decide to register here and give this ago. Well I am into some rather, shall we say odd, things, so I was wondering I'd be looking for a session that included full weight facesitting, ass worship, smothering, foot worship, love it when they smell, trampling, stomping, human furniture, face slapping, spitting, name calling towards me, racial names again towards me, and could the watersports be in my mouth?

Thank you for your time and I hope I never disturbed you.

Paul.

Why oh why can't men just read? I think actions like this are deliberate!  :FF

Got that one yesterday, He is from Scotland but travelling around so he says. Also has a pic of him taking a picture holding a camera to his face. Didn't even bother replying to it comes a cross as a timewaster.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 04 February 2013, 11:02:53 am
Quote from: Orchid on 01 February 2013, 10:48:56 am
Its cash for me upfront on a booking or no booking takes place simple rule works every time.
aw credits is worthless to me i have enough of them anyway

Aw credits aren't worthless, worth 70p in the pound.  Cash them in!

If you let them build up over 100 I think you are more likely to "infringe" a term and lose the lot.  You can cash it when you get to 50, so as soon as I am around 70 I cash in and get 50 quid more or less. Passive income soon builds up with gallery views, even after paying for phone and avail today.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 04 February 2013, 11:50:00 am
I was told by aw that  i couldnt transfer less than 150 credits  it kept coming up with a negative balance in red so no i cant try and transfer anything lower .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 04 February 2013, 01:26:58 pm
Quote from: pandora on 04 February 2013, 11:02:53 am
Quote from: Orchid on 01 February 2013, 10:48:56 am
Its cash for me upfront on a booking or no booking takes place simple rule works every time.
aw credits is worthless to me i have enough of them anyway

Aw credits aren't worthless, worth 70p in the pound.  Cash them in!

If you let them build up over 100 I think you are more likely to "infringe" a term and lose the lot.  You can cash it when you get to 50, so as soon as I am around 70 I cash in and get 50 quid more or less. Passive income soon builds up with gallery views, even after paying for phone and avail today.

Sorry going OTT but to clarify (taken straight from AW):
Quote
Once you have accrued 50 Credits you can request that your funds are posted to you by cheque/check.  If you have 150 credits you can request a transfer to any EU bank account
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 04 February 2013, 04:21:24 pm
Quote from: Orchid on 04 February 2013, 11:50:00 am
I was told by aw that  i couldnt transfer less than 150 credits  it kept coming up with a negative balance in red so no i cant try and transfer anything lower .

you have to uncheck some of the credits you earned so that balance will not be negative ..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 04 February 2013, 04:35:15 pm
Quote from: hotblondie28 on 04 February 2013, 04:21:24 pm
Quote from: Orchid on 04 February 2013, 11:50:00 am
I was told by aw that  i couldnt transfer less than 150 credits  it kept coming up with a negative balance in red so no i cant try and transfer anything lower .

you have to uncheck some of the credits you earned so that balance will not be negative ..

You still can't transfer anything less than 150 credits to a bank account.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 05 February 2013, 07:10:53 am
My late night call yesterday falls into this forum topic from a man id apparently seen over a year ago!
 him - Hi  how are you darling?, saw your pictures you look great.
me  -  thanks, who is this ?
 him - Oh its ** i saw you a year ago,
me  -  oh right did you want to  book a visit then, is thats why youre calling so late ?
him- oh im saving my pennies to come and see you ! pennies !!!!!!!!  ::)
me- how much have you saved then?
him- laughs then says  oh I cant wait to come and see you again some day
me- got to go now  rather irritated  puts phone down  :FF why bloody call in the first place if you have no intention of booking probably wanted sex for free !!!!!                                                     
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lunar Moon on 05 February 2013, 07:37:44 am
Oh yes 'The Chatters' I get some who just ring to see how I am  ::)

Had an email yesterday on AW :

'I see you do foot fetish - would you allow me to take you into the wood and get your feet all dirty with mud so I can lick it off' ?

Yeah right I am really going to go into a wood with some man I don't know in freezing Feb (or any time of year come to that)

Deleted and blocked  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 05 February 2013, 08:19:35 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 04 February 2013, 04:35:15 pm
Quote from: hotblondie28 on 04 February 2013, 04:21:24 pm
Quote from: Orchid on 04 February 2013, 11:50:00 am
I was told by aw that  i couldnt transfer less than 150 credits  it kept coming up with a negative balance in red so no i cant try and transfer anything lower .

you have to uncheck some of the credits you earned so that balance will not be negative ..

You still can't transfer anything less than 150 credits to a bank account.

Indeed, thats why I get a cheque.  I am not waiting until there is over 150 credits, just in case something happens.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: aya on 05 February 2013, 08:49:50 am
I'd rather get a cheque as well theres no trace of where its from with my bank or anything & my bank (Natwest)
want to charge me a fee to convert bank transfer to ?  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 05 February 2013, 03:44:13 pm
An international caller( thats a first for me)bit weird as  he said he was calling from France and it came up with the dial code also
 french guy asking when im free and how much do i weigh!!!
to which i reply my weight is not important, all my details you need are on the profile.
 caller - but how much do you weight, 11stone?
 me - i dont do sitting on clients if thats what youre after
 caller no- i dont want that so please tell me how much do you weigh yet again
  me -    no monsiour, goodbye !!!!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 05 February 2013, 11:45:52 pm
Quote from: Maisie on 31 January 2013, 05:07:30 pm
I've just ranted on a non-escort forum about this app.  Go very carefully as I put the app on my iPhone because my daughter insisted.  It automatically adds everyone you've ever known (I tend to keep ALL phone numbers so I know who to not answer).  Last week I had an inbox chat request (with a photo) of someone I've been trying to lose from my life for almost a year.  What's frightening is that I've changed my phone number twice since the last contact I had with this person.  But because they were on my contacts list I got added to theirs.  At this point I don't know whether they actually have my new number, or just had the option to message me without knowing it.  I'm done with trying to find out and scouring places like Yahoo Answers etc.  I've just deleted the app.  But really how dangerous is that ?

Is that whats app?.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 06 February 2013, 07:33:53 am
Quote from: StephanieDandy on 31 January 2013, 12:18:20 pm
Tell you what else is annoying...  Conversations like this:

Him:  Hi Stephanie, I have seen your profile and would like to come and see you at 3 today.  Are you available?

Me:  Yes, this is fine, I can do then.  Would you like my address?

Him:  I will call back when I know what I am doing...

Why bother??  Then usually they never call back!  Grr just call me when you can DEFINITELY come over!  That gets right on my milks, that one, and variations of! x

 I get those and wonder if they know their own minds !!!  I dont give out the postcode until they have made a definate booking anyway.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 06 February 2013, 08:50:23 am
Quote from: Orchid on 06 February 2013, 07:33:53 am
Quote from: StephanieDandy on 31 January 2013, 12:18:20 pm
Tell you what else is annoying...  Conversations like this:

Him:  Hi Stephanie, I have seen your profile and would like to come and see you at 3 today.  Are you available?

Me:  Yes, this is fine, I can do then.  Would you like my address?

Him:  I will call back when I know what I am doing...

Why bother??  Then usually they never call back!  Grr just call me when you can DEFINITELY come over!  That gets right on my milks, that one, and variations of! x

 I get those and wonder if they know their own minds !!!  I dont give out the postcode until they have made a definate booking anyway.

Even better is when someone asks either by text or on the phone(most of the time texting), "Can I make a booking?", even better "Want to see you now", then starts asking about fees, age, looks, services.................says they've not seen any details.

Funny how they were so certain they wanted to book, but without any info. I could be offering anything and everything(or not) and then if the conversation continues it turns out they require something different, somewhere different.

Either it's just for the chat, or people are just daft(both I think).

One memorable text I received asked me "Who" would he be seeing if he did make a booking. He said he wasn't sure if I was a 'company', my website makes it clear I'm not an agency.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ana30 on 06 February 2013, 12:25:24 pm
Quote
Funny how they were so certain they wanted to book, but without any info. I could be offering anything and everything(or not) and then if the conversation continues it turns out they require something different, somewhere different

These types "make my day":

-"Hi can i make a booking for 3 pm?"
- "Sure.."
- "By the way what are your rates, where are you located and what services do you offer?"

Another favourite is:
 "Hi, can I have some details please?"

 :FF :FF :FF

I always refer them to my website in a very polite manner. Needless to say they NEVER call back, so nowadays when I get one of these calls I immediately classify them as TW's right away  (although I still send them to my website in order to get rid of 'em).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 07 February 2013, 08:26:36 am
Hello there,

I'll be honest with you, I'll be 20 in 13 days and I'm still a virgin. I know it's weird, but I've always been the polite/nervous type. I'm interested in an incall, even only 30 minutes would do I guess. We could meet at my place but I've got 2 flatmates, they're never home but in case they are, I don't wanna draw too much attention, that's why it'd be great if I could come to you. I've also been meaning to ask you about your rate, how much would it be for 30 minutes of your time then? Let me know, thank you.

Kind regards,
M.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 07 February 2013, 08:59:10 am
TEXTER - can you do 5-10 mins for ?20.00
me- why dont you have a quick wank at home and save youre cash!
TEXTER - oh ok !!!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sade on 07 February 2013, 02:47:21 pm
Quote from: O :) on 07 February 2013, 08:59:10 am
TEXTER - can you do 5-10 mins for ?20.00
me- why dont you have a quick wank at home and save youre cash!
TEXTER - oh ok !!!  ::)

I suggested them buying a dvd when I got that sort of messages .:)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Darling_Delilah on 07 February 2013, 02:53:55 pm
I had two awful ones yesterday

"Hi, I'd like an overnight at the Hilton hotel."

Me: Sure, can you send a booking request in please?

NEVER replied, or booked or anything! T_T I got my hopes up! waaahh. :P

And another:
"Hi, have you got a hour free tonight?"

Me: Yeah, I do, please send me a post code, etc etc.

NO REPLY! Waaaahh. :'(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 08 February 2013, 10:50:29 pm
I had a blinder tonight, received a booking request had a look to see what it was all about.  Was a guy requesting 30hrs for 50pounds for the 11th in Colchester.  The profile had been created today.  Now of lately I have had a lot of fake bookings come through just so that they can have the "feedback only" option to leave me malicious feedback.  So I blocked him but if AW allows this one to leave me negative feedback without the booking even been scheduled or taken place I will shit a brick and post it to them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Green Carnation on 09 February 2013, 12:06:43 am
I got this one last night, after 2am
'Still playing out tonight? Southwark Travelodge ?50,come now'.....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 09 February 2013, 12:14:08 am
Quote from: Green Carnation on 09 February 2013, 12:06:43 am
I got this one last night, after 2am
'Still playing out tonight? Southwark Travelodge ?50,come now'.....

Priceless ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Darling_Delilah on 09 February 2013, 03:31:12 am
I got a hilarious one last night.
In texts:

"Hi delilah outcall"
Me: Hello, what time would you like? How long for? etc etc
Him: "2 hour tonight"
Me: What time? Could you send me a post code please, etc etc.
Him: *Post code here*
Him: price
Me: ..... err *texts the price back*
Him: you sexy, u come sea me tomorrow.
Him: 2pm.

Like my fiance says, (He knows now and is yay! :D ) "It's like he's ordering fast food."
I felt so tempted to say: "Why yes, I will throw you in the sea, no problem! :)"

Needless to say, timewaster. :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xCara on 09 February 2013, 09:39:47 am
"Can I put it in your ass"

Eh, no
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RR on 09 February 2013, 11:29:24 pm
Quote from: Green Carnation on 09 February 2013, 12:06:43 am
I got this one last night, after 2am
'Still playing out tonight? Southwark Travelodge ?50,come now'.....

You turned this one down?? Worra dream! You lost out lady
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 10 February 2013, 02:41:49 am
Quote from: Green Carnation on 09 February 2013, 12:06:43 am
I got this one last night, after 2am
'Still playing out tonight? Southwark Travelodge ?50,come now'.....


I got one VERY similar 2 nights ago 2am by text......  Cum now, Nottinghill, ?50

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 10 February 2013, 11:46:54 pm
"I've had fantastic success with my last RB asking for girl that want to become pregnant so much so I've got an overnight booking in a hotel in central London on friday 5th April.
I've booked the hotel for the weekend so I want 2 more overnights on the Saturday and Sunday nights, also I would like to meet a few girls Saturday and Sunday though the day for a few hours each. I want to make as many girls pregnant in one weekend as pos.
So please put bids in or email me telling me if you want a few hours or the overnight and please only girls wanting me to make them pregnant.
the prices are not fixed so tell me what you want and we can work something out.
Thanks"

This man makes me fucking sick to my stomach.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SubCharlotte on 11 February 2013, 04:30:28 am
That's not an indirect way of asking for Bob or anything haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lucyjuicy on 11 February 2013, 09:18:14 am
Quote from: cherry-ice on 11 February 2013, 04:30:28 am
That's not an indirect way of asking for Bob or anything haha

Bob the barebacker ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 11 February 2013, 09:28:30 am
Quote from: Fluffy Bunny on 08 February 2013, 10:50:29 pm
I had a blinder tonight, received a booking request had a look to see what it was all about.  Was a guy requesting 30hrs for 50pounds for the 11th in Colchester.  The profile had been created today.  Now of lately I have had a lot of fake bookings come through just so that they can have the "feedback only" option to leave me malicious feedback.  So I blocked him but if AW allows this one to leave me negative feedback without the booking even been scheduled or taken place I will shit a brick and post it to them.

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 11 February 2013, 09:29:55 am
Quote from: Fluffy Bunny on 08 February 2013, 10:50:29 pm
I had a blinder tonight, received a booking request had a look to see what it was all about.  Was a guy requesting 30hrs for 50pounds for the 11th in Colchester.  The profile had been created today.  Now of lately I have had a lot of fake bookings come through just so that they can have the "feedback only" option to leave me malicious feedback.  So I blocked him but if AW allows this one to leave me negative feedback without the booking even been scheduled or taken place I will shit a brick and post it to them.

The fee he was offering is a bit rude but the hours could've been a simple error, when filling in form you have to put 0.5 for 30 minutes, but some clients enter 30 which shows as 30 hours. I've had this a few times.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dexi Delite on 11 February 2013, 12:09:07 pm
I love it when you catch TW's out.  I had a guy ring up on Fri to book a massage for today at 11am.  I told him I was unable to do 11am so he asked for Tues 11am.  I said I couldn't do that either, so he asked for 11am on Wed.  I booked him in and made a note of his name and number, but I just had a feeling he was a TW so put a question mark against his name.  He's just rung up now (his name came up on my phone so I knew it was him), but pretended I didn't know who he was, and he asked if he could book a massage for today.  I then said he's already booked a massage for Wednesday.  He denied all knowledge of it, and then spluttered and stammered and said he now remembers and would keep it for Wed.  Some how I doubt he's going to ring and confirm.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amber Sweetpetite on 11 February 2013, 12:29:52 pm
lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 11 February 2013, 01:08:27 pm
Just had a guy text me saying he's in Salisbury...(I'm in London.) Then asked if I see couples, and I said no. Then asked if I'm on whats ap and I said no (I am) then said his fuck buddy wanted to know where I got my red basque from... :FF So I ignored that...and then asked me to download whats ap so I could chat with his fuck buddy and exchange photos with her!!!!!  FFS!  WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xbbwkimx on 11 February 2013, 09:30:22 pm
This guy walked out a few weeks ago, he says nerves.. Oh well.

Get an email today

"Do you still want to meet? Are you going to charge?"


Wtf?!!! :FF

I said, yes I'm still going to charge lol, it's my job, would you work for free?!

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 12 February 2013, 07:59:20 am
You know those calls we get between 12am - 4am!  I am always up at 6am every morning, check my phone and call back, it is only polite! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SubCharlotte on 13 February 2013, 12:06:44 pm
Just got this amazing one !

"Can u teach me how to shag a girl please. Im 18 xxx"

A real charmer .....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: WelshieGirly on 13 February 2013, 12:36:10 pm
My profile screams - Call for a booking.

"Hi how are u. I'm interested in a 15 min quickie and for u to suck me.  I can't phone because I don't want my girlfriend finding out. But I need some excitement and u look and sound exactly what I'm looking for. When can I arrange a meeting for."

Does she pay the phone bill? If you can't call how the hell are you going to find out my apartment number when you you get to my street? Idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 13 February 2013, 01:05:41 pm
Just had the most stupid conversation... :FF

Guy who found me on My LOCAL escorts.

All the usual, oh wow your gorgeous babe, just what I'm looking for and blah blah......I ask when he wants to book and he says this weekend...fine.........I ask what area he is in, and he say's...No I'll come to you babe....... :FF again!    I ONLY DO OUTCALLS!

Oh OK Babe...well I'm in Edinborough!

Lord give me strength!

Coty...in LONDON!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 13 February 2013, 02:30:19 pm
Has anyone had this? He says he's 31 but his profile says 20?



Good afternoon Kylie,

My apologies for the unsolicited email.

My name is Lee and I have just discovered your profile on AW.

I'm quite new to this so apologies if I do not adhere to any of the protocols that more experienced members of the site may have acquired.

I guess it would be a good place to start to give you some information about myself. I'm 31, 6ft 2, blond (ish) hair, blue eyes and could probably do with losing some weight! Just before Christmas last year, I underwent minor surgery on my bladder to try to rectify an ongoing health issue. The surgery went fine but it left me with an infection that left me in hospital up until 10 days ago. I live alone and and as part of my rehabilitation, I have to stay in a respite care home for another week or so. I'm slowly getting better but the whole experience has made me reevaluate a few things in my life. The biggest of these is that I am a virgin. I think thats actually the first time I've told anyone else. Anyway, I joined AW with the express wish to find someone who would help me with this. Looking through your profile, it was a lovely change to find someone who had a decent grasp of the English language and who didnt litter their text with sexual profanity! I was sincerely hoping that you may consider being my first?

I have never really been an outgoing sort of person. At University, whilst my friends were out drinking, I would much prefer to study and expand my mind. I have had girlfriends in the past and the relationships became physical but we mutually agreed to abstain from sex. As I say, recent events have made me take stock of things and I have made up my mind that I want to experience being with a lady.

I guess there are practical issues to consider. I guess I'm being selfish but now I have made up my mind, I want it to happen as soon as possible. The only problem with that is that I'm not in my own home. I was wondering how you felt about visiting me where I am staying now? It's a strange kind of place. Its not a hospital, more like a hotel and they encourage independence. I have my own room with privacy but no lock on the door and nurses/carers only a button push away.

The other consideration is that I have an indwelling catheter. I'm not sure if you have any experience in this area but put basically it means I have a pipe inserted into my penis that is connected to a bag that collects my urine. I have done some research on the internet and found that it is possible to disconnect from the bag and use a condom as normal (although I have never used one) by bending the catheter over - something else to think about.

I realise that it is probably a little overwhelming and I'm sorry that I have just bombarded you with information. I just feel that you deserve to have all of the facts before you make your decision. If you would rather not visit me, I would of course completely understand.

I hope to hear from you soon,

Kind regards,

Lee x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 13 February 2013, 04:51:36 pm
A frustrating TWish day culminating in a guy who I shall call 'The Ditherer' - called earlier to ask was I free at 5, where was I yada yada........oh I may have a conference call at 5........dither dither dither...finally saying he'd call back if he was free.

So at 4.45 he rings to say 'I'm in the area now'.  Err so I'm supposed to shower, get my naughty room ready, tidy up etc all in the space of a few minutes.

I say I'm not ready, you gave me no warning I do need at least 20 minutes to get ready (pretty damm good I thought).  Oh he says it was difficult to stop along the way.....another time.......dither dither. 

I forgot I must be a bad whore, I am not on stand by 24 hours a day, dressed in sexy gear ready to go at a moments notice  ::) :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 13 February 2013, 11:18:10 pm
Quote from: Nameless on 13 February 2013, 04:51:36 pm
A frustrating TWish day culminating in a guy who I shall call 'The Ditherer' - called earlier to ask was I free at 5, where was I yada yada........oh I may have a conference call at 5........dither dither dither...finally saying he'd call back if he was free.

So at 4.45 he rings to say 'I'm in the area now'.  Err so I'm supposed to shower, get my naughty room ready, tidy up etc all in the space of a few minutes.

I say I'm not ready, you gave me no warning I do need at least 20 minutes to get ready (pretty damm good I thought).  Oh he says it was difficult to stop along the way.....another time.......dither dither. 

I forgot I must be a bad whore, I am not on stand by 24 hours a day, dressed in sexy gear ready to go at a moments notice  ::) :FF

I find these ones the most irritating. They could quite happily have seen you if they had the basic common sense to call ahead (I ask for an hour's notice) but then when it comes down to it they want to see you 'immediately' (!) and can't come in 45 minutes/an hour's time as they apparently need to be somewhere else then....What I hate is the way they put their stress on to you, what's the difficulty in calling or texting one hour before their arrival time? You also can't trust them to show as they tend to come up with needing to be somewhere else a few minutes after calling. Personally I need to shower/douche, get a bed ready, do makeup and get an outfit together before I'm happy to see anyone - I just can't do all this with 15 minutes notice.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 14 February 2013, 12:53:42 pm
text  Hi hun
me- please call
text do 2hrs for ?100
me - no
 call blocker on !!! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SubCharlotte on 14 February 2013, 03:02:37 pm
Got this on my duo AW profile this morning:

"Looking to lose my virginity can u help xxx"

Happy Valentines...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 14 February 2013, 05:26:55 pm
Quote from: cherry-ice on 14 February 2013, 03:02:37 pm
Got this on my duo AW profile this morning:

"Looking to lose my virginity can u help xxx"

Happy Valentines...

ha  sad sod !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 15 February 2013, 01:25:35 pm
hello lovely lady , I saw your profile and just had to send you a msg and make a link with you, you look amazing in your pics
Id love to come and treat you and give you my special treatment I offer services too, I will take care of all ur fantasies and pleasure all rolled into 1 whole hour....if you'd like me to cum twice, well, no problem maybe today 4.30?xx
 

Yaaaaaaaawwwwwwwnnnnnnnnn....and BLOCK!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 15 February 2013, 01:49:55 pm
By phone a couple of minutes ago:

Me: Hello?

Memory Man: Is this the escort?

Me: Sorry? Who are you trying to contact?

Memory Man: I want the escort. Have I got the wrong number?

Me: Yes, I think you have. This is Amy - we have names, just like everybody else.

Memory Man: Well up yours then you fucking bitch.

For the benefit of newbies, this is where screening processes really take care of themselves by ensuring that knobbers like this never, ever get a booking anywhere without us having to really do anything at all. And now I remember why I don't generally answer my phone.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 15 February 2013, 02:00:29 pm
Quote from: amy on 15 February 2013, 01:49:55 pm
By phone a couple of minutes ago:

Me: Hello?

Memory Man: Is this the escort?

Me: Sorry? Who are you trying to contact?

Memory Man: I want the escort. Have I got the wrong number?

Me: Yes, I think you have. This is Amy - we have names, just like everybody else.

Memory Man: Well up yours then you fucking bitch.

For the benefit of newbies, this is where screening processes really take care of themselves by ensuring that knobbers like this never, ever get a booking anywhere without us having to really do anything at all. And now I remember why I don't generally answer my phone.


Charming!  I pity the poor sod who does get a booking with him!

Makes me laugh how when they don't get what they want we're suddenly bitches and slags and not the sexy escort that they were trying to book just 2 minutes before! IDIOTS!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 15 February 2013, 02:49:55 pm
I see it differently. 

I would rather take a call from a dickhead like this and have it over with in about 30 seconds flat than receive continual texts asking for information that could be answered within this 30 seconds call.

This way I can hear if the caller has any kind of accent (I wont meet with guys with ANY kind of accent incase I cant understand them during a booking) and eliminate him from my list of prospective clients.

I cant be assed with continual ping pong texts.  I find even two texts from any one guy irritating.

It  proves that we all prefer to work in a different way and none of them are 100% correct for another worker.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 15 February 2013, 03:31:13 pm
Quote from: Coty on 15 February 2013, 01:25:35 pm
hello lovely lady , I saw your profile and just had to send you a msg and make a link with you, you look amazing in your pics
Id love to come and treat you and give you my special treatment I offer services too, I will take care of all ur fantasies and pleasure all rolled into 1 whole hour....if you'd like me to cum twice, well, no problem maybe today 4.30?xx
 


He wants you to pay for services for "your pleasure and fantasy" , but expects himself ( the provider!!) to "come twice" ..OMG , waht a chancher !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 15 February 2013, 03:57:44 pm
Quote from: KinkyVixen on 15 February 2013, 03:31:13 pm
Quote from: Coty on 15 February 2013, 01:25:35 pm
hello lovely lady , I saw your profile and just had to send you a msg and make a link with you, you look amazing in your pics
Id love to come and treat you and give you my special treatment I offer services too, I will take care of all ur fantasies and pleasure all rolled into 1 whole hour....if you'd like me to cum twice, well, no problem maybe today 4.30?xx
 


He wants you to pay for services for "your pleasure and fantasy" , but expects himself ( the provider!!) to "come twice" ..OMG , waht a chancher !!

I know and I looked at his profile...the usual male  fantasist escort crap and predictable photo's! One negative feedback saying he's rude and nasty....to which he's replied saying...I'm not looking for a f**king girlfriend love!     Hmmmm nice man! Jist the kind who will do so well as a straight male escort!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 15 February 2013, 04:55:47 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 15 February 2013, 02:49:55 pm
I see it differently. 

I would rather take a call from a dickhead like this and have it over with in about 30 seconds flat than receive continual texts asking for information that could be answered within this 30 seconds call.

It  proves that we all prefer to work in a different way and none of them are 100% correct for another worker.

Well I'd rather have neither of them which is why I don't tolerate ping pong texts either, and I can't believe that anybody would rather have somebody grunt 'is that the escort' at them and then tell them to fuck off. It's not as if these are the only two possibilities, is it? (and God they're not, or I wouldn't have a business).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 15 February 2013, 07:50:52 pm
Quote from: amy on 15 February 2013, 04:55:47 pm
Well I'd rather have neither of them which is why I don't tolerate ping pong texts either, and I can't believe that anybody would rather have somebody grunt 'is that the escort' at them and then tell them to fuck off. It's not as if these are the only two possibilities, is it?

I'd rather have neither of them too but if being called an escort and being told to f off was the worst I heard in a day I wouldnt have much to worry about.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 16 February 2013, 05:18:34 pm
hot from the weirdo-timewasters keyboard:

'I am seeking someone who has the facility and inclination to subject me to a form of humiliating punishment to demonstrate my true status. That is, after a precursor of defilement, emasculation, humiliation and abuse, confinement amongst the trash in a garbage bin, for a miserable period of several hours, overnight, or perhaps even a full 24 hours. So there would need to be secluded access to a suitable person size refuse bin like a large wheely bin, and a good supply of suitably foul smelling, slimy putrid garbage. If I find someone with the right twisted imagination, happy to do this, details and costs could be discussed.'

not that I would mind locking some one in the trash for any amount of time, but ...

*sigh*  ::)

as for the 'details and costs could be discussed; *double sigh*

a FREE kick in the balls for this man.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 16 February 2013, 05:33:15 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 15 February 2013, 07:50:52 pm
Quote from: amy on 15 February 2013, 04:55:47 pm
Well I'd rather have neither of them which is why I don't tolerate ping pong texts either, and I can't believe that anybody would rather have somebody grunt 'is that the escort' at them and then tell them to fuck off. It's not as if these are the only two possibilities, is it?

I'd rather have neither of them too but if being called an escort and being told to f off was the worst I heard in a day I wouldnt have much to worry about.

It wasn't 'an escort', it was picking up the phone not to 'is that Amy?' or similar, it was having 'is this 'the escort' (as in 'the TV' or 'the toaster' - other inanimate objects are available) and I think my post was pretty clear.

Not being addressed by name is a pet hate of mine because it's incredibly rude, and since only a miniscule number of my enquiries come from charmless twats like this (thick ones yes, but not rude) then that is far and away the worst I normally have to hear in a day. In fact that's the worst I've heard in quite a while. Obviously I don't have much to worry about then, so that's good to know at least.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 16 February 2013, 05:38:32 pm
Why have all the 18 year olds come out to play and waste my time...had three in the last five days? Must be a lot of budding young entrepreneurs around as they all want to pay my fares and hotel to travel different parts of the country! lol

One wanting me to travel to Liverpool and he'll pay all my costs and hotel...yeah right sonny Jim!
Another wanting to come to me or do a car meet and last night one in Crawley, who also would pay my fares and hotel etc...money no object. :FF
He sounded totally out of it and when I stopped answering his calls he kept calling al night leaving disgusting messages (not threatening just what he wanted to do to me etc...bleugh!)

Must be half term or something!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 16 February 2013, 05:40:34 pm
Quote from: Coty on 16 February 2013, 05:38:32 pm
Why have all the 18 year olds come out to play and waste my time...had three in the last five days? Must be a lot of budding young entrepreneurs around as they all want to pay my fares and hotel to travel different parts of the country! lol

One wanting me to travel to Liverpool and he'll pay all my costs and hotel...yeah right sonny Jim!
Another wanting to come to me or do a car meet and last night one in Crawley, who also would pay my fares and hotel etc...money no object. :FF
He sounded totally out of it and when I stopped answering his calls he kept calling al night leaving disgusting messages (not threatening just what he wanted to do to me etc...bleugh!)

Must be half term or something!

Half term's just finished here and it does bring them out of the woodwork. I've had my call blocker on since that pillock I posted about the other day so am offically not fussed :D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 16 February 2013, 05:43:57 pm
I believe it has been Half Term in my neck of the woods this week  ;D

Heres my latest little gem via text today:

Hi! I hope you had a lovely valentines day?  Unfortunately I missed out althought the champagne is sitll in the fridge.  Is 47 years old ok for you? Kisses James xx

Depends James, are you paying? No I thought not........
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 16 February 2013, 05:45:51 pm
Quote from: amy on 16 February 2013, 05:40:34 pm
Half term's just finished here and it does bring them out of the woodwork. I've had my call blocker on since that pillock I posted about the other day so am offically not fussed :D.

Aha...I knew it! Idiots. What worries me is if they're under 18...not that I see anyone that young....but worries me even talking to these young kids that I'll be done for paedophilia or something!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 16 February 2013, 06:46:10 pm
Quote from: amy on 16 February 2013, 05:33:15 pm

It wasn't 'an escort', it was picking up the phone not to 'is that Amy?' or similar, it was having 'is this 'the escort' (as in 'the TV' or 'the toaster' - other inanimate objects are available) and I think my post was pretty clear.

Yes Amy it was clear in your post but I still dont think its the worst thing we could be called.  Ok its not the politest but guys can be twats and get flustered, not everyone is good on a phone.  I make allowances for that.

I had a call something similar to yours last week though I wasnt told to f off.  I cant remember  the exact wording but it was just as easy to say yes, take 10-15 seconds to answer another question and then hang up.

I really dont think it is that bad or the worst Ive heard, but obviously you do and neither of us is wrong, we just deal with it in a different way.  Difference was I wasnt told to f off.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maisie on 16 February 2013, 08:38:06 pm
Quote from: meetingdiversity on 05 February 2013, 11:45:52 pm
Quote from: Maisie on 31 January 2013, 05:07:30 pm
I've just ranted on a non-escort forum about this app.  Go very carefully as I put the app on my iPhone because my daughter insisted.  It automatically adds everyone you've ever known (I tend to keep ALL phone numbers so I know who to not answer).  Last week I had an inbox chat request (with a photo) of someone I've been trying to lose from my life for almost a year.  What's frightening is that I've changed my phone number twice since the last contact I had with this person.  But because they were on my contacts list I got added to theirs.  At this point I don't know whether they actually have my new number, or just had the option to message me without knowing it.  I'm done with trying to find out and scouring places like Yahoo Answers etc.  I've just deleted the app.  But really how dangerous is that ?

Is that whats app?.

Hi, apologies for my late response I've been living the nightmare with a burst cold water tank and overflow pipe ? la Niagra Falls. I live on the 15th floor which doesn't help.   It's been over a week and I'm still unwilling to move back in. 

It was What's App.  Alarmingly it is the most popular iPhone app.  However, if you google What's App + privacy ( or similar terms) you will see there are a whole lot of other issues with What's App.  Unencrypted passwords etc.

I am still unable to confirm via the What's App dev team whether the fact that this completely unwanted person who appeared in my inbox to initiate chat actually now knows my new number. 

Totally my own fault, I should know better.  I should have actually found out exactly what I was doing even using this app.  All this random and prolific "sharing" is an accident waiting to happen. 

What's worse is some people (the same people who think their laptop is a "FACEBOOK MACHINE" ) like this part of it so they get loads and loads of random strangers to chat to.  What the hell is wrong with me/these people ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 17 February 2013, 02:49:36 am
Quote from: amy on 16 February 2013, 05:33:15 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 15 February 2013, 07:50:52 pm
Quote from: amy on 15 February 2013, 04:55:47 pm
Well I'd rather have neither of them which is why I don't tolerate ping pong texts either, and I can't believe that anybody would rather have somebody grunt 'is that the escort' at them and then tell them to fuck off. It's not as if these are the only two possibilities, is it?

I'd rather have neither of them too but if being called an escort and being told to f off was the worst I heard in a day I wouldnt have much to worry about.

It wasn't 'an escort', it was picking up the phone not to 'is that Amy?' or similar, it was having 'is this 'the escort' (as in 'the TV' or 'the toaster' - other inanimate objects are available) and I think my post was pretty clear.

Not being addressed by name is a pet hate of mine because it's incredibly rude, and since only a miniscule number of my enquiries come from charmless twats like this (thick ones yes, but not rude) then that is far and away the worst I normally have to hear in a day. In fact that's the worst I've heard in quite a while. Obviously I don't have much to worry about then, so that's good to know at least.
This is a MASSIVE pet hate of mine! I mean what does it take to say 'Hello is this Kylie?' nothing. And they will always get a much better response. Like you Amy I very rarely get abusive or rude callers but when I do it really gets to me. I would have personally text the fucker back saying he is disgustingly rude and if he actually read my profile in the first place he wouldnt be wasting his own time and all his calls and texts are now blocked. I've had many times where they say 'is this an escort?' or something similar and I always say 'Yes my name is KYLIE'

Oh and my all time favourite, no introduction
'I'm looking for a massage'
'As it says on my profile my name is KYLIE and I'm an independent escort'
'Yeah that's what I mean' FFS!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 17 February 2013, 09:28:49 am
Him:Could you tell me the name of your company?
Me:Where did you get my details?
Him: Adultwork.
Me:It's a profile I use and my working name is clearly on it.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 17 February 2013, 09:43:19 am
Quote from: MissKylie on 17 February 2013, 02:49:36 am
Quote from: amy on 16 February 2013, 05:33:15 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 15 February 2013, 07:50:52 pm
Quote from: amy on 15 February 2013, 04:55:47 pm
Well I'd rather have neither of them which is why I don't tolerate ping pong texts either, and I can't believe that anybody would rather have somebody grunt 'is that the escort' at them and then tell them to fuck off. It's not as if these are the only two possibilities, is it?

I'd rather have neither of them too but if being called an escort and being told to f off was the worst I heard in a day I wouldnt have much to worry about.

It wasn't 'an escort', it was picking up the phone not to 'is that Amy?' or similar, it was having 'is this 'the escort' (as in 'the TV' or 'the toaster' - other inanimate objects are available) and I think my post was pretty clear.

Not being addressed by name is a pet hate of mine because it's incredibly rude, and since only a miniscule number of my enquiries come from charmless twats like this (thick ones yes, but not rude) then that is far and away the worst I normally have to hear in a day. In fact that's the worst I've heard in quite a while. Obviously I don't have much to worry about then, so that's good to know at least.
This is a MASSIVE pet hate of mine! I mean what does it take to say 'Hello is this Kylie?' nothing. And they will always get a much better response. Like you Amy I very rarely get abusive or rude callers but when I do it really gets to me. I would have personally text the fucker back saying he is disgustingly rude and if he actually read my profile in the first place he wouldnt be wasting his own time and all his calls and texts are now blocked. I've had many times where they say 'is this an escort?' or something similar and I always say 'Yes my name is KYLIE'

Oh and my all time favourite, no introduction
'I'm looking for a massage'
'As it says on my profile my name is KYLIE and I'm an independent escort'
'Yeah that's what I mean' FFS!!!

This again proves that we all work differently and in a way that suits us.

My name is not on my profile and not always in an ad I am displaying, so guys cant ask for me by name. 

I find it more offensive to be called "hun" grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, "dear", "love", or "darling" or anything similar, by people that dont know me, even other escorts.  I would rather they didnt call me anything rather by using one of these horrible names. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 17 February 2013, 09:54:18 am
Another corker this morning :

Looks like I missed you this time around. Will you be back in March? If you are I am interested in having my wee world rocked....what you think?

My profile quite clearly states ill be back in his area in March !!!!  What do I think ?   .................. I think he ought to learn how to read profiles.  As for "having his wee world rocked" ............. Im not even going there.   Ye Gads.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 17 February 2013, 09:58:07 am
Quote from: Coty on 16 February 2013, 05:38:32 pm


Must be half term or something!

It is! Just started here in London and other areas, while some places have just had their's. URGH. Hate half term/school hols. More TWs, less money, even on cam, cos the familes and wives stay up later.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 17 February 2013, 10:10:25 am
Ive never found half term much different.  But Ive heard many people saying this.  Another reason not to respond to texts and wait for the phone call when you can at least hear they are over 18 and may be bonafide clients.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 17 February 2013, 04:50:03 pm
I got tired of repeating myself especially as most do not read your profile before emailing so have set my auto respond to include all the stupid rhetorical questions I usually get asked.   :)  Now I get apology text messages after reading the auto respond lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Darling_Delilah on 17 February 2013, 07:41:44 pm
Weirdest, email. EVER.

hi , i have beards, i am who are gentlemen, i am very polite, i am non smokers.
i am have that brown skin. Men who smile alot.
Shy and nervous men turn me on alot.
what more you need bb
how much you pay me now to meet will i will book hotel room
sam xxxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 17 February 2013, 07:56:33 pm
Deleted, posted in error, sorry.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 17 February 2013, 09:07:50 pm
Quote from: xdelilahx on 17 February 2013, 07:41:44 pm
Weirdest, email. EVER.

hi , i have beards, i am who are gentlemen, i am very polite, i am non smokers.
i am have that brown skin. Men who smile alot.
Shy and nervous men turn me on alot.
what more you need bb
how much you pay me now to meet will i will book hotel room
sam xxxx

Probably a bad online translation - that would make me ignore because if you don't understand him in written text, what hope do you have in person?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Darling_Delilah on 17 February 2013, 09:57:09 pm
Hahaa, I figured he copy pasted from my interview, and then wrote blabberish...

Lol!! ;D Still made me laugh my ass off.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 18 February 2013, 05:08:22 pm
This via text after a missed call and my standard text back stating my availability:

I'm interested if the price is right I will start travelling now!  I'm in xxx area

Yeh you mean you are a cheapskate haggler, no thanks!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 18 February 2013, 10:20:24 pm
phone rings with a private number, so I pick it up ready with my " hi there, you have rang me off a private number, you need to unblock your calls and ring me back so I can see your number" speech it went thus;

me - hi ( cut off mid word)

tit - who is this?

me - you rang me, so you must know who I am

tit - you rang my number and I'm returning your call

me - when?

tit - about a month ago

me - and you're returning it now? you must have rang me, I didn't answer, I called you back and you missed the call

tit - I don't think so - why did you ring me?

Me- I didn't!!!!

tit - I'm never ringing this number again

me - good

what the f**k???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 19 February 2013, 12:19:13 am

Helloooo
My names Richie
What do you provide?
x

Me:owo,gfe,etc etc

The retard
Hmmm
I was looking for NSAY (have no ideea what is that)
is everybody selling themselvs nowadays?

Me: sorry,cant help

The retard
U can babe
But your after material gain
I bet your beautiful but your just lowering yaself for these desperate people out here
I live near the downs
Your crazy to say you cant help babe xx

LOL, he is a real retard :FF

Me:
Get lost looser, u dont know shit about me or WHAT I DO. Wank urself and pretend ur next to a sexy woman who loves you and ur rich too. Pathetic

The retard
Your not a product to be sold
Your a human being made to share and enjoy your love with people in life
Your stronger then that
Lol calm down

The retard again
Pathetic?
I aint a whore though ;)

Me:
You are a bigger whore then me, trying to find free sex and preaching to the wrong tree
I enjoy what I do and I do it for money and its my choice
Whats yours, a lonely wank?

I allready feel better after telling this poor soul hes a looser ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 19 February 2013, 01:33:30 am
Quote from: hotblondie28 on 19 February 2013, 12:19:13 am

Helloooo
My names Richie
What do you provide?
x

Me:owo,gfe,etc etc

The retard
Hmmm
I was looking for NSAY (have no ideea what is that)
is everybody selling themselvs nowadays?

Me: sorry,cant help

The retard
U can babe
But your after material gain
I bet your beautiful but your just lowering yaself for these desperate people out here
I live near the downs
Your crazy to say you cant help babe xx

LOL, he is a real retard :FF

Me:
Get lost looser, u dont know shit about me or WHAT I DO. Wank urself and pretend ur next to a sexy woman who loves you and ur rich too. Pathetic

The retard
Your not a product to be sold
Your a human being made to share and enjoy your love with people in life
Your stronger then that
Lol calm down

The retard again
Pathetic?
I aint a whore though ;)

Me:
You are a bigger whore then me, trying to find free sex and preaching to the wrong tree
I enjoy what I do and I do it for money and its my choice
Whats yours, a lonely wank?

I allready feel better after telling this poor soul hes a looser ;D

NSAY = No Strings Attached....dunno what the *Y* is...? Yanking? Yo Momma? Yuppie?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 19 February 2013, 01:43:58 am
thanks Cat, now I know what NSA means, free sex  :FF
dunno about that y  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 20 February 2013, 09:08:52 pm
Phonecall this evening.  Guy rings up and I can't quite figure out if possibly he has a learning disability so probably give him far too much leeway.  He firstly starts telling me where he lives & I quite naturally think this means he wants an outcall, but no, this is to prove he is 'genuine' apparantly.

Then he says he needs to see a 'special lady'.  Oh I say when did you want an appointment, and without going into too much detail, what do you mean?

He then says that he wants a lady to recieve a large dildo, moreover he would 'go at it hammer & tongs'.
I just terminated the call and said 'no thanks, goodbye'.

But afterwards I just felt it was really creepy with violent undertones about violating women and I wished I'd said as much to him, but of course you only think of these things afterwards.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 21 February 2013, 12:11:42 pm
Just had this via my website email

Hi,
I'm living at canterbury at university of kent campus in a room.
How much is it per hour and can you come to my room?

Err I'm nowhere near Canterbury matey boy which you'd know if you'd even read one line of my website.  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 23 February 2013, 02:29:15 pm
I LOVE people who read my profile before contacting me. This clearly isn't one of them...

i would like to come and see you, or you can come to my house in [removed]. would you accept 120. i am very much into schoolgirl roleplay and hope you dont mind me using poppers.

I'm obviously not going to reply, there's so much wrong with this message that it's not worth me trying to snag him as a new client. 1) I don't do incalls; 2) I don't visit private addresses; 3) he thinks I'm only worth 2 thirds of my fee, plus he's haggling on first contact; 4) I'm 41, bit too old to pretend to be 16; 5) I don't do drugs and don't accept clients who are intoxicated. All info is on my profile.

And on cam last night, a paying customer asked if he made a booking, could I get him some cocaine. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SubCharlotte on 23 February 2013, 05:15:18 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 23 February 2013, 02:29:15 pm


And on cam last night, a paying customer asked if he made a booking, could I get him some cocaine. ::)

Wow, the nerve some people have.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 23 February 2013, 05:47:48 pm
Quote from: cherry-ice on 23 February 2013, 05:15:18 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 23 February 2013, 02:29:15 pm


And on cam last night, a paying customer asked if he made a booking, could I get him some cocaine. ::)

Wow, the nerve some people have.

Oh yes of course its yet another misconception men have that we all do drugs  us escorts.... NO WE DO NOT!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 23 February 2013, 05:52:38 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 23 February 2013, 02:29:15 pm
I LOVE people who read my profile before contacting me. This clearly isn't one of them...

i would like to come and see you, or you can come to my house in [removed]. would you accept 120. i am very much into schoolgirl roleplay and hope you dont mind me using poppers.

I'm obviously not going to reply, there's so much wrong with this message that it's not worth me trying to snag him as a new client. 1) I don't do incalls; 2) I don't visit private addresses; 3) he thinks I'm only worth 2 thirds of my fee, plus he's haggling on first contact; 4) I'm 41, bit too old to pretend to be 16; 5) I don't do drugs and don't accept clients who are intoxicated. All info is on my profile.

And on cam last night, a paying customer asked if he made a booking, could I get him some cocaine. ::)

FGS  :FF
Why oh why can they not take 5 mins max to read a profile?

Mind you I don't agree with your no4!  I'm 54 in April and still get asked for this role play!  I actually feel comfortable with it because of my age.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 23 February 2013, 08:12:02 pm
Quote from: Coty on 23 February 2013, 05:52:38 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 23 February 2013, 02:29:15 pm
I LOVE people who read my profile before contacting me. This clearly isn't one of them...

i would like to come and see you, or you can come to my house in [removed]. would you accept 120. i am very much into schoolgirl roleplay and hope you dont mind me using poppers.

I'm obviously not going to reply, there's so much wrong with this message that it's not worth me trying to snag him as a new client. 1) I don't do incalls; 2) I don't visit private addresses; 3) he thinks I'm only worth 2 thirds of my fee, plus he's haggling on first contact; 4) I'm 41, bit too old to pretend to be 16; 5) I don't do drugs and don't accept clients who are intoxicated. All info is on my profile.

And on cam last night, a paying customer asked if he made a booking, could I get him some cocaine. ::)

FGS  :FF
Why oh why can they not take 5 mins max to read a profile?

Mind you I don't agree with your no4!  I'm 54 in April and still get asked for this role play!  I actually feel comfortable with it because of my age.

True! I think it was just cos it was HIM that made no.4 relevant. Also, I am more the school teacher spanking the schoolgirl (client), or the headgirl, being as I'm more dominant.

I don't often get requests for schoolgirl roleplay - I bet you're good at it  8)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 23 February 2013, 08:38:21 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 23 February 2013, 08:12:02 pm

True! I think it was just cos it was HIM that made no.4 relevant. Also, I am more the school teacher spanking the schoolgirl (client), or the headgirl, being as I'm more dominant.

I don't often get requests for schoolgirl roleplay - I bet you're good at it  8)

Oh come and spank me Mistress I've been a naughty girl LOL

Yes I'm REALLY good at it...it's one of my fave role plays!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 23 February 2013, 08:43:13 pm
Quote from: Coty on 23 February 2013, 08:38:21 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 23 February 2013, 08:12:02 pm

True! I think it was just cos it was HIM that made no.4 relevant. Also, I am more the school teacher spanking the schoolgirl (client), or the headgirl, being as I'm more dominant.

I don't often get requests for schoolgirl roleplay - I bet you're good at it  8)

Oh come and spank me Mistress I've been a naughty girl LOL

Yes I'm REALLY good at it...it's one of my fave role plays!

LOL! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 23 February 2013, 09:10:17 pm
Guy called up today and after booking an appointment, he asked - 'So,  do you smoke weed or crack?'

 ::)

I hung up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 26 February 2013, 12:17:08 am
Quote from: reneesme on 18 February 2013, 10:20:24 pm
phone rings with a private number, so I pick it up ready with my " hi there, you have rang me off a private number, you need to unblock your calls and ring me back so I can see your number" speech it went thus;

me - hi ( cut off mid word)

tit - who is this?

me - you rang me, so you must know who I am

tit - you rang my number and I'm returning your call

me - when?

tit - about a month ago

me - and you're returning it now? you must have rang me, I didn't answer, I called you back and you missed the call

tit - I don't think so - why did you ring me?

Me- I didn't!!!!

tit - I'm never ringing this number again

me - good

what the f**k???

When they pull the fast one with me, my serious plain and simple voice is put on. Explaining that you know what you do.bye.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 26 February 2013, 06:29:00 am
I got a text message yesterday.

Him: hey

Me: ?

him: where are you

me: ?

him: saw your ad on aw

me: ?

him: why are you doing that

me: ?

him: F&$ F*&(@A*#

me:?

After which he got the message.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 26 February 2013, 08:29:51 am
hi there looking for a session with a difference first i would book a hotel room near you and wud like you to wear secretary outfit including blouse bra white big panties tights and office kneelength skirt and to try a fetish called splosh basicaly i will have a paddling pool and have fun getting you messy with custard, rice pudding, chocolate mousse, gataux, cheesecake, porridge ie pour mess in panties>?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nobody Interesting on 26 February 2013, 09:01:37 am
...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 26 February 2013, 10:07:01 am
Quote from: O :) on 26 February 2013, 08:29:51 am
hi there looking for a session with a difference first i would book a hotel room near you and wud like you to wear secretary outfit including blouse bra white big panties tights and office kneelength skirt and to try a fetish called splosh basicaly i will have a paddling pool and have fun getting you messy with custard, rice pudding, chocolate mousse, gataux, cheesecake, porridge ie pour mess in panties>?

Omg got exactly the same one! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 26 February 2013, 01:42:32 pm
Quote from: O :) on 26 February 2013, 08:29:51 am
hi there looking for a session with a difference first i would book a hotel room near you and wud like you to wear secretary outfit including blouse bra white big panties tights and office kneelength skirt and to try a fetish called splosh basicaly i will have a paddling pool and have fun getting you messy with custard, rice pudding, chocolate mousse, gataux, cheesecake, porridge ie pour mess in panties>?


Not neccessary a TW , Ive done quite a few splosh sessions now ....yes a waste of food but good fun !

Dont be put off by mess , i buy builders/decorators plastic sheets from poundland . . . and a kids ?5 blow up paddling pool in the middle of the room for either party to sit in while the other "sploshes" ......you can get messy as you like and you just throw it all out in the rubbish when done - No messed up ruined rooms!

Paddling pool good for W/S also

ps - if he's sending that email to everyone , then yes , prob a TW
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 26 February 2013, 02:20:31 pm
Text received 3 weeks ago: "Hi I'm kim a 30 year old pre op transexual sub i love bean used and abused and put to work for how ever u c fit i never say no so hope i may be an interest to u". Replied with 'No, sorry not my thing" and heard no more, until I got a text from the same number just now saying:

"Hi im mick im lucking for a lady who has a partner that cums inside u why u may ask well id love to get my tongue in there and lick u out all nice and clean again if u could do this for me im willing to pay 500 pounds and yes im searous just for what i askt for x"

Sounds confused to me!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mi on 26 February 2013, 03:03:54 pm
'Hi do you do police discounts?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 26 February 2013, 08:18:59 pm
Quote from: DianaMurphy on 26 February 2013, 02:20:31 pm
Text received 3 weeks ago: "Hi I'm kim a 30 year old pre op transexual sub i love bean used and abused and put to work for how ever u c fit i never say no so hope i may be an interest to u". Replied with 'No, sorry not my thing" and heard no more, until I got a text from the same number just now saying:

"Hi im mick im lucking for a lady who has a partner that cums inside u why u may ask well id love to get my tongue in there and lick u out all nice and clean again if u could do this for me im willing to pay 500 pounds and yes im searous just for what i askt for x"

Sounds confused to me!  :FF

I've had the first text you mention, he said he made ?2k for his last mistress. I said it's illegal to control someone else's prostitution, he said not if he's not getting paid ??? ::)

Duh!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 26 February 2013, 08:56:05 pm
Quote from: Strawberry on 26 February 2013, 08:18:59 pm
Quote from: DianaMurphy on 26 February 2013, 02:20:31 pm
Text received 3 weeks ago: "Hi I'm kim a 30 year old pre op transexual sub i love bean used and abused and put to work for how ever u c fit i never say no so hope i may be an interest to u". Replied with 'No, sorry not my thing" and heard no more, until I got a text from the same number just now saying:

"Hi im mick im lucking for a lady who has a partner that cums inside u why u may ask well id love to get my tongue in there and lick u out all nice and clean again if u could do this for me im willing to pay 500 pounds and yes im searous just for what i askt for x"

Sounds confused to me!  :FF

I've had the first text you mention, he said he made ?2k for his last mistress. I said it's illegal to control someone else's prostitution, he said not if he's not getting paid ??? ::)

Duh!

Gawd! Sounds completely deluded! I replied to his last text asking "Mike or Kim?", didn't get a reply!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady c on 26 February 2013, 11:01:33 pm
him...i only want an outside meet.

me.. don,t do them

him.. i am 19 yrs old u will like that

me.. it don,t do nothing for me sorry...

him.. you smell

me.. ok, grow up

him.. grow old

me.. blocked

him..fucked..

god so many reasons why i don,t see under 28,s
so childish and immature..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 27 February 2013, 11:48:18 am
Just received this text 5 times:

I am deaf. I want sexy with you for how much cost you. Please you can address give me

For some peculiar reason I am not taking this seriously.  I'm sure those with hearing difficulties are just as capable as the rest of us in stringing a coherant sentance together and as to demanding an address straight off ... ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 27 February 2013, 12:50:02 pm
Quote from: O :) on 26 February 2013, 08:29:51 am
hi there looking for a session with a difference first i would book a hotel room near you and wud like you to wear secretary outfit including blouse bra white big panties tights and office kneelength skirt and to try a fetish called splosh basicaly i will have a paddling pool and have fun getting you messy with custard, rice pudding, chocolate mousse, gataux, cheesecake, porridge ie pour mess in panties>?

Ha I got this one too. Ugh just the thought makes me sick.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 27 February 2013, 02:07:47 pm
Quote from: Nameless on 27 February 2013, 11:48:18 am
Just received this text 5 times:

I am deaf. I want sexy with you for how much cost you. Please you can address give me

For some peculiar reason I am not taking this seriously.  I'm sure those with hearing difficulties are just as capable as the rest of us in stringing a coherant sentance together and as to demanding an address straight off ... ::)

This one does the orunds quite a bit.  Pity as he ruins it for people who are deaf.  I did try getting him to use a textphone but he did not know what that was which most deaf people do so I used another number to ring him and turns out he answers his phone in Arabic and his English is pretty much non existant hence he uses the deaf thing as most women I know wont see anyone they cannot communicate with and who does not even understand the word no
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 28 February 2013, 02:52:07 am

We are Discreet Private Retreat looking for ladies with or without experience who would like to work as VIP hostess and professional escorts around Scotland. Also work inside the Club as a hostesses for our Loyal Clients.
We are looking for fun girls with good sence of humour , stylish and like the attention of men :-)
Maybe not so confident but would like to change your life for better and learn how to be more confident. Have fun and earn money at the same time.
Please apply only if you are over 18 , honest and reliable. Thanks

ABOUT US:
We are Private agency Based in Glasgow in a private location....
Not a Night Club ! We are open daily from Monday tell Saturday

WE set our self a touch above the rest from all the other agencies, because we are very careful in selecting our clients and make sure that we treat them with the most caring and special services. That is why we are looking for the special type of ladies who can take pride in what there doing as our agency aim to provide the girls with a good Knowledge of companionship and also building there own confident witch can also help them through out the rest of there life?

We look at our clients needs first and then we provide the service he requires.
As we have being established for over 6years, we know everyone is different. So we made a program that can help clients and girls to be more at ease with them self. We more cater for mature gentleman?s, who simply work to hard and need to have a break away from there offices and just wish to relax or even just have a break from city life and maybe lacking of confident around other people or just wanting female companionship.

WHAT REQUARED FROM THE LADIES:
- Over 18years old
- Must be intelligent and have a good sense of humour with good personality
- Must be a good listener and have good understanding about most things,
- Must be a quick learner, who is wiling to learn new things
- With a open mind, patience and caring
- Good team player and like to tease
- Honest and reliable
- NO TIME WAITERS,

SERVICES PROVIDED:

Part of the services is to provide a companionship and that could be (in sittings areas having coffee, in restaurant having meal ect?)
Dancing ? personal dance for individual client. Not Lap-Dance
Massage ? special sensual massage that you will learn..
Personal Hygiene is a sensual from both parties!
You do not have to have any previous experience in any of those things, as we do provide a training to help you provide your service and be successful in what you do?
Accommodation is also provided ( if needed )

There is no experience need it for any of those positions. We can also provide a full training program for girls who are not confident and would like to become more confident and learn how to deal with clients or even to learn more about the needs of men in general... ask for more details?

WHAT TO DO NEXT:
If you interested, first send us some of your recent pictures to email and tell us something about your self . After we will send you an application form and arrange a personal interview with you.... This way we get to know you a bit better and you will also see the place and get a perfect idea what is our expectation

Look forward to hearing from you soon...D
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 28 February 2013, 11:43:37 am
Quote from: MissKylie on 28 February 2013, 02:52:07 am

We are Discreet Private Retreat looking for ladies with or without experience who would like to work as VIP hostess and professional escorts around Scotland. Also work inside the Club as a hostesses for our Loyal Clients.
We are looking for fun girls with good sence of humour , stylish and like the attention of men :-)
Maybe not so confident but would like to change your life for better and learn how to be more confident. Have fun and earn money at the same time.
Please apply only if you are over 18 , honest and reliable. Thanks

ABOUT US:
We are Private agency Based in Glasgow in a private location....
Not a Night Club ! We are open daily from Monday tell Saturday

WE set our self a touch above the rest from all the other agencies, because we are very careful in selecting our clients and make sure that we treat them with the most caring and special services. That is why we are looking for the special type of ladies who can take pride in what there doing as our agency aim to provide the girls with a good Knowledge of companionship and also building there own confident witch can also help them through out the rest of there life?

We look at our clients needs first and then we provide the service he requires.
As we have being established for over 6years, we know everyone is different. So we made a program that can help clients and girls to be more at ease with them self. We more cater for mature gentleman?s, who simply work to hard and need to have a break away from there offices and just wish to relax or even just have a break from city life and maybe lacking of confident around other people or just wanting female companionship.

WHAT REQUARED FROM THE LADIES:
- Over 18years old
- Must be intelligent and have a good sense of humour with good personality
- Must be a good listener and have good understanding about most things,
- Must be a quick learner, who is wiling to learn new things
- With a open mind, patience and caring
- Good team player and like to tease
- Honest and reliable
- NO TIME WAITERS,

SERVICES PROVIDED:

Part of the services is to provide a companionship and that could be (in sittings areas having coffee, in restaurant having meal ect?)
Dancing ? personal dance for individual client. Not Lap-Dance
Massage ? special sensual massage that you will learn..
Personal Hygiene is a sensual from both parties!
You do not have to have any previous experience in any of those things, as we do provide a training to help you provide your service and be successful in what you do?
Accommodation is also provided ( if needed )

There is no experience need it for any of those positions. We can also provide a full training program for girls who are not confident and would like to become more confident and learn how to deal with clients or even to learn more about the needs of men in general... ask for more details?

WHAT TO DO NEXT:
If you interested, first send us some of your recent pictures to email and tell us something about your self . After we will send you an application form and arrange a personal interview with you.... This way we get to know you a bit better and you will also see the place and get a perfect idea what is our expectation

Look forward to hearing from you soon...D

So you'll be dashing up to Glasgow I presume Kylie?

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Xenia on 28 February 2013, 05:42:32 pm
Did anybody had this joker on Adultwork?

hi hun, its a massive fantasy of mine to get a lady pregnant other than my girlfriend, i would pay lots, thousands to let me try!, ill give you cash upfront and after, I'm genuine, i would love to make this become real. let me know if you would be even slightly interested. thanks xxx
   
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 28 February 2013, 09:26:10 pm
Quote from: Xenia on 28 February 2013, 05:42:32 pm
Did anybody had this joker on Adultwork?

hi hun, its a massive fantasy of mine to get a lady pregnant other than my girlfriend, i would pay lots, thousands to let me try!, ill give you cash upfront and after, I'm genuine, i would love to make this become real. let me know if you would be even slightly interested. thanks xxx
 

What a sicko :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 28 February 2013, 09:31:29 pm
Had a text from a guy I refuse to see any more because he takes coke, asking to book me again. I told him NO yet again....he then went on to tell me that he rarely books any escorts now as none seem like him taking coke or crack and he doesn't have any spare after buying his monthly stash of both!!
CRACK! I wouldn't see ANYONE in any parts of my life who took crack.
How did he think that if I'll not see him because of his coke addiction, that I'd now see him taking coke and crack?  :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 28 February 2013, 10:09:43 pm
The part that rings alarm bells is ......
Quote from: MissKylie on 28 February 2013, 02:52:07 am
Maybe not so confident but would like to change your life for better and learn how to be more confident. Have fun and earn money at the same time.


Why not so confident ? So they can exploit you ?

And the "change your life for the better comes across as patronising

And its full of spelling mistakes ...ok i make enough myself on forums , but if i was sending out a "professional " document spam then id double check it
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 28 February 2013, 10:14:39 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 28 February 2013, 09:26:10 pm
Quote from: Xenia on 28 February 2013, 05:42:32 pm
Did anybody had this joker on Adultwork?

hi hun, its a massive fantasy of mine to get a lady pregnant other than my girlfriend, i would pay lots, thousands to let me try!, ill give you cash upfront and after, I'm genuine, i would love to make this become real. let me know if you would be even slightly interested. thanks xxx
 

What a sicko :-\


Breeder fetish ......... I came across an icky website that deals with it the other day , most worrying it has a section devoted to "bug chaser " fetish where people want to catch STD/HIV ( mental i know)  , and they have a page of links to AW "bareback whores" , with discussion which one is the most likely to have the "gift" as they have had the most cock bareback :(

I knew about "breeders" but had  never heard of Bug Chasing fetish until i saw that , disturbing indeed

Ps - the "gift" theyhope to receive is HIV  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 01 March 2013, 09:52:43 am
They need serious mental health treatment not bug chasing for HIV how disturbing some people are in our society
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 01 March 2013, 04:02:08 pm
Quote from: KinkyVixen on 28 February 2013, 10:14:39 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 28 February 2013, 09:26:10 pm
Quote from: Xenia on 28 February 2013, 05:42:32 pm
Did anybody had this joker on Adultwork?

hi hun, its a massive fantasy of mine to get a lady pregnant other than my girlfriend, i would pay lots, thousands to let me try!, ill give you cash upfront and after, I'm genuine, i would love to make this become real. let me know if you would be even slightly interested. thanks xxx
 

What a sicko :-\


Breeder fetish ......... I came across an icky website that deals with it the other day , most worrying it has a section devoted to "bug chaser " fetish where people want to catch STD/HIV ( mental i know)  , and they have a page of links to AW "bareback whores" , with discussion which one is the most likely to have the "gift" as they have had the most cock bareback :(

I knew about "breeders" but had  never heard of Bug Chasing fetish until i saw that , disturbing indeed

Ps - the "gift" theyhope to receive is HIV  :o

Omg! And AW thinks they do not have a bad reputation.  This is ridiculous! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 03 March 2013, 06:30:22 pm
just received a text:
Hyia, Im 19, is it free?

lol :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 04 March 2013, 12:09:08 pm
I realize you get spam mail all the time however this is not spam, we have room for 10 Women who can entertain some of Toronto's top earners. We realize you are an independent business woman, however we can be of assistance. Stop taking calls from slime balls who want too pay $80 for a half hour of your services, step into the world where established businessmen leave $180 as a tip. TrophyMate has worked hard over the years too compile our massive email data base and we do not rely solely on BACK PAGES for our advertisements. We have seen you in the industry for a little while and would be pleased if you gave us the opportunity of hearing what we have to offer. We will not require any full time commitment from you and you are able to continue as an independent if you chose. We have also been the 2nd Escort Service too be placed on the list and in the process of operating a LEAGAL BROWDY HOUSE. Our phones ring non stop and any shifts that you chose too work with us is guaranteed money. Call me to set up an interview.
Yours Truly

E.


Leagal browdy house  ;D 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 04 March 2013, 03:38:15 pm
hahahahahahahahahaha
Classic!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SubCharlotte on 04 March 2013, 04:39:10 pm
Quote from: Fluffy Bunny on 01 March 2013, 04:02:08 pm
Quote from: KinkyVixen on 28 February 2013, 10:14:39 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 28 February 2013, 09:26:10 pm
Quote from: Xenia on 28 February 2013, 05:42:32 pm
Did anybody had this joker on Adultwork?

hi hun, its a massive fantasy of mine to get a lady pregnant other than my girlfriend, i would pay lots, thousands to let me try!, ill give you cash upfront and after, I'm genuine, i would love to make this become real. let me know if you would be even slightly interested. thanks xxx
 

What a sicko :-\


Breeder fetish ......... I came across an icky website that deals with it the other day , most worrying it has a section devoted to "bug chaser " fetish where people want to catch STD/HIV ( mental i know)  , and they have a page of links to AW "bareback whores" , with discussion which one is the most likely to have the "gift" as they have had the most cock bareback :(

I knew about "breeders" but had  never heard of Bug Chasing fetish until i saw that , disturbing indeed

Ps - the "gift" theyhope to receive is HIV  :o

Omg! And AW thinks they do not have a bad reputation.  This is ridiculous!

Nothing like being a sick little freak is there... Bit more than slighty worried tbh...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: x-Veronica-x on 04 March 2013, 06:53:06 pm
Quote from: Nameless on 27 February 2013, 11:48:18 am
Just received this text 5 times:

I am deaf. I want sexy with you for how much cost you. Please you can address give me

For some peculiar reason I am not taking this seriously.  I'm sure those with hearing difficulties are just as capable as the rest of us in stringing a coherant sentance together and as to demanding an address straight off ... ::)

Sounds very slimier to a text I've had
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 06 March 2013, 11:46:46 am
Just had someone trying to book me who has the worst feedback I've ver seen...as a time waster and fantasist, rather than a danger....So I told him I wouldn't see him because of the atrocious feedback and he send this....

Thanks for your reply , my account got hacked in to and abused , i am 100% genuine ! honest ! and trustworthy , prepared to leave a deposit to show

Would really like to meet you today /

Mark x

Now if someone hacked your account no way would they have hacked it for over 4 years and have a host of escorts complaining surely??? Even with the promise of a deposit and being skint, I'm not going all the way across London for this joker!


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 06 March 2013, 03:16:39 pm
Quote from: KinkyVixen on 28 February 2013, 10:14:39 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 28 February 2013, 09:26:10 pm
Quote from: Xenia on 28 February 2013, 05:42:32 pm
Did anybody had this joker on Adultwork?

hi hun, its a massive fantasy of mine to get a lady pregnant other than my girlfriend, i would pay lots, thousands to let me try!, ill give you cash upfront and after, I'm genuine, i would love to make this become real. let me know if you would be even slightly interested. thanks xxx
 

What a sicko :-\


Breeder fetish ......... I came across an icky website that deals with it the other day , most worrying it has a section devoted to "bug chaser " fetish where people want to catch STD/HIV ( mental i know)  , and they have a page of links to AW "bareback whores" , with discussion which one is the most likely to have the "gift" as they have had the most cock bareback :(

I knew about "breeders" but had  never heard of Bug Chasing fetish until i saw that , disturbing indeed

Ps - the "gift" theyhope to receive is HIV  :o

Unfortunately the ladies they hope have the "gift" are quite prominent on AW the problem for me is how many of their clients have we not seen. 

When I saw the website it made me physically nauseas and I had a panic attack, maybe it is time to give up escorting if people are playing russian roulette with ours and the lives of others.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 07 March 2013, 12:48:59 am
Received today...

I love your hairy pussy I would love to fist it !!



 :o *eyes water*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 07 March 2013, 02:48:07 pm
From a client who I have been seeing for a few years but recently has not turned up for 4 bookings
He is one of those clients that all they say throught a 3 hour booking is, you have missed me havent you, Im your favourite client arent I, You want me as your boy toy dont you, I can come to your home and have sex whenever you want, shudders as guy is vile on the best days
Books through AW then 10 emails one after the other all asking as he doesnt have much money can he book an hour but stay all day
Me  Ignore!!!
Him, why are you not answering me
Me, I am sorry but I am busy
Him, Well you better start texting instead
Me,  Excuse me???
Him, If you cant email text me
me,  Sorry but I am busy and do not need to have contact until your booking
him, Yes you do, I am telling you now you had better start texting and answering me seeing as I am your best and favourite client
Me,  Actually you have not only turned into a timewaster who books and doesnt turn up but you are actually also one of the worst cleints I see and I spend hours working with a floppy cock listening to you telling ME how much I adore and want YOU. Booking now cancelled (Ok I shoudl have been polite but I was not ever planning on seeing him again after messing me around before)

Him,  Oh now your playing hard to get but I know you want to be with me so I am coming for my booking but now I dont have to pay.
Me,  Ok now you are turning into a freak and if you show up I will call the police
Him, You wont cos I know you love me
Me.  block and ignore
I have left him lots of nice feedback before but now wish I had taken notice of the notes section which states that he has done this with other women and then stalked them telling them they either be with him or he will kill them both so they can be together. 
From now on if more than one escort has left notes I shall be taking notice
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 07 March 2013, 02:54:18 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 07 March 2013, 12:48:59 am
Received today...

I love your hairy pussy I would love to fist it !!



 :o *eyes water*

...and they say romance is dead, eh?  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Claire999 on 08 March 2013, 07:02:09 am
I just received this treasure in my mailbox.......


hi Claire i am looking for a women to help me with my fantasy  hehe its 1st time i am doing this so please forgive me if i am making mistakes :P

ok  my fantasy is for a women do dress up as tomb raider and have some fun in the bed room with me

think you can help me ? please let me know 

thank you :)

Any ideas on how I should respond?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 08 March 2013, 12:40:15 pm
Yes....GAME OVER
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 08 March 2013, 09:15:16 pm
WTH is it with men asking for BB sex lately, ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh makes me ill thinking about it to be honest.
Had a potiental booking decline on me today cos I refused BB, awwww I'm gutted NOT!!!

One other evening wanted to "stick it in me without a condom, pmsl, I soon put him straight, mind u I also had to wash his cheesey stinky cock as well, and told him that he should be ashamed of himself attending a booking like that"

He is on my to lecture list if he wants a repeat booking,

:(

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 10 March 2013, 11:29:36 am
I've got ?5 and want something quick, nothing fancy please.

I don't care if ?5 gets me 1 minute please help.

Came from someone who booked a while back, claimed to be outside when I looked wasn't, said he didn't want to see me because I'm "fuck ugly" (after saying how great I looked), also then said he was only 16 when I wouldn't give a second chance I received a "I know where you live" text. Right ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 10 March 2013, 11:42:18 pm

Hi Miss Kylie

Apologies for the long email!

I've got a bizarre filmed 30 min request. Basically its Roleplay with you playing a friend of my mums and you want to blackmail her as you know she got a lump sum recently from a divorce. I'm her mentally retarded son and youve been planning this for a while.

You come to our house and sneak in the door, finding I am alone in the dining room you are whispering and ask where my mum is as i play with my toys and i say shes in the garden. Perfect, you think.

You sit at the table and cross your sheer tights encased legs whisering asking me silly questions and telling me to come over to you and sit at your feet. You know I was taken to the doctor when I was younger as my mum found me with a pair of her tights one day, I was hiding in my cupboard with them over my head, I was very confused.

You plan to set me up. Using your feet you ask me to take your heels off which i struggle with and once done you fake being hot and say i should take my clothes off to cool down which I do. You start to rub your feet on my face and body then put me on my back using your feet and smother my face with your feet, trying to make my brain become obsessed with your tights.

You then pull me up using your feet and pull me toward you, facing away from you where you wrap your legs around my neck and cuip one of your hands over my mouth and take my arms above my head and handcuff them.

You now snake your feet into my lap and start to try to arouse me against my will. You play with me until I become hard as I struggle and plan to make my cum then knock me out smothering me to make it look like i masterabated myself under the table wearing your tights that I stole..you try but cant make me cum so push me onto my back and sit on my face and so i cant call out to my mum and start to handjob me to make me cum. I am trying to call to my mum and telling you it isnt nice but you are whispering 'yesss it feels nice' trying to trick my brain and eventually you make me cum..you stay sitting on my face until I pass out then you stand and take your tights off and put my head inside them before arranging my hands to look like i masterbated myself off and then you do your best scream and call for my mum..you will act angry to her that i stole your underwear and you want money or you will go to the police and report her and me..

I would prefer we are both in character from the off i.e we dont meet first and chat normally so youd need to be ok with leaving your door slightly open so I can quickly come in and set up the fixed camera and get into position then i'd text you GO for it to start with you going to door and starting in character..id happily leave the cash for you in the hall before we start no problem

anyway would you be up for this? I am not far away in Harlow and could do this any night next week
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 11 March 2013, 12:09:16 am
What a complete sicko:-(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 11 March 2013, 12:40:35 am
Quote from: Coty on 11 March 2013, 12:09:16 am
What a complete sicko:-(
I know! I don't even do fucking filming! I had a absolute wanker also call me tonight and leave a message. Gordie sounding bloke,

'I love the sound of you're voice it really turns me on and gives me a hard on, I can't believe someone is up you right now because you're busy, and I want to be there and I wanna be up you. Fancy ringing us back now so I can get up ya'

What an absolute fucking c*nt!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 11 March 2013, 09:17:28 pm
 
Hi there,

Bit of an odd one this but bear with me, haha

I've always had a fantasy of shaving a woman's head and then fucking her. Obviously this isn't something that many people would be into but I was wondering if, for a considerable amount of money, you would allow me to do this?

I know it's a strange one but if you don't ask you don't get, and you'd definetely be stunning with or without hair haha.
 

Maybe I should consider, after all he is such a charmer ............. NOT !!  BTW ........... I dont show my face in my pix so I really got a laugh at his patter. Eejit.

It would save me on my hairdressers bill I suppose.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 12 March 2013, 12:43:07 am
Tell me ladies...should I jump at the chance of this...?

i want to hang out.the back of u



Now, don't all be jealous... :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 12 March 2013, 12:58:18 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 12 March 2013, 12:43:07 am
Tell me ladies...should I jump at the chance of this...?

i want to hang out.the back of u



Now, don't all be jealous... :o
bwahahahahahahahahaha....oh PLEASE book a duo with him so he can hang out the back of me too!  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 12 March 2013, 01:00:31 am
Quote from: Coty on 12 March 2013, 12:58:18 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 12 March 2013, 12:43:07 am
Tell me ladies...should I jump at the chance of this...?

i want to hang out.the back of u



Now, don't all be jealous... :o
bwahahahahahahahahaha....oh PLEASE book a duo with him so he can hang out the back of me too!  :o

I am seriously LOLing here now!! :D :D ;D So funny....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 12 March 2013, 08:58:30 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 11 March 2013, 09:17:28 pm

Hi there,

Bit of an odd one this but bear with me, haha

I've always had a fantasy of shaving a woman's head and then fucking her. Obviously this isn't something that many people would be into but I was wondering if, for a considerable amount of money, you would allow me to do this?

I know it's a strange one but if you don't ask you don't get, and you'd definetely be stunning with or without hair haha.
 

Maybe I should consider, after all he is such a charmer ............. NOT !!  BTW ........... I dont show my face in my pix so I really got a laugh at his patter. Eejit.

It would save me on my hairdressers bill I suppose.  ::)

Oh I am totally miffed thought I was the only one whose hair he wanted to shave lol and I felt so guilty for replying with "no thank you" and he was so polite too lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 12 March 2013, 09:26:42 pm
I didnt even mention his request in my reply, I just asked why after 7 years on AW he had no feedback.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The Bachelor on 15 March 2013, 09:58:03 pm
2 clients call me today, both are full of crap. 1 calls me and leaves a voicemail then calls me again to book in an hour. Fair enough, then he cancels 15 minutes before the appointment.

Another guy calls me and then my battery dies abruptly (I only have a car-port charger for it). I literally call him back in less than a minute...rung back twice and he won't answer! As I called back, it almost sounded as the tone when someone is on the other line as you are calling them.

Which means soon as I got off the phone, he probably contacted another escort before I could even reach him back. That's just shady. You should atleast give the person a moment to call right back. Idiots I swear!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 15 March 2013, 09:59:04 pm


hi hun!
?160 an hour?. ur having a laff!
would you accept ?80?.
thanks hun x


 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 15 March 2013, 11:07:08 pm
Idiot: Hi babe!
Me: Ignore
Idiot: U ok?
Me: Ignore
Idiot: U ok hun? xxx
Me (thinking maybe I know this person?: Who is this?
Idiot: Who are you?
Me: FFS...where do you get this number?
Idiot: My friend gave me it.
Me: Go away you silly boy and stop wasting my time.
Idiot. How rude! Won't book you then!


Oh dear....think I lost a great client there by being impatient and grumpy? lmao
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 16 March 2013, 06:47:58 am
email sent at 02.00 this morning
"  you want to chat" ?

he would have a very long wait for an answer !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 17 March 2013, 09:43:17 am
Just recieved on AW.

"Do u wear camel-toe?"

Wtf.

From same guy

"Do u do mixed wrestling"

reply "If its not in my likes list I dont do it"

his reply "what about femdom"

reply "No because it is NOT on my profile, which I suggest you read and stop wasting your time and mine".

And he actually had 16 positive feedbacks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 17 March 2013, 02:04:19 pm

'Do you cater for women? I am interested in a session for my wife.

Kind regards

Plonker.'

 ::) If only I had a tenner for every TW email I've had along these lines. At least he kept it brief, often these ones can run onto a very long description of exactly what kind of session the 'wife' would enjoy. Where is the 'giving him a good hard slap' smiley icon?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 17 March 2013, 11:55:43 pm
Classic "How not to book" behaviour...

Received tonight...


Hello sexy babe.

Recently joined Adultwork .
.I'm looking to meet a sexy lady for regular sex and naughty play at sessions.
I'm a 33 year old well hung, muscular male .

I've just seen your profile , WOW!! Nice pictures , you look and sound like a very sexy girl mmmmm. You make my cock hard babeee, been wanking over your sexy pictures babe but need the real thing.

Can we arrange to meet for our first 1hr naughty sex session babe?

Hope to hear from you soon.

Alan .


*** Then...an hour later...


Hello sexy babe.

Recently joined Adultwork .
.I'm looking to meet a sexy lady for regular sex and naughty play at sessions.
I'm a 33 year old well hung, muscular male .

I've just seen your profile , WOW!! Nice pictures , you look and sound like a very sexy girl mmmmm. You make my cock hard babeee, been wanking over your sexy pictures babe but need the real thing.

Can we arrange to meet for our first 1hr naughty sex session babe?

Hope to hear from you soon.

Alan .



Let me guess (NOT!)....spamming everyone he fancies?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 20 March 2013, 05:30:39 pm

Good Afternoon Babe,

hope your good and making loadsa money.

Iv just created this new profile. Instead of putting pictures of my cock i thought let me use face pics until i have content worth showing.

The reason why I am contacting is to see what your views are on a business proposal I have in mind.

Like my profile states, were all here to make money and lots of it.

Me being a young black guy, interracial is very popular and Men and couples pay good money to see this type of interaction, whether it be via meets or webcam or content i.e. photos and videos.

I want you to be a part of this, I Have a property we can work from, you can also do incalls here.

Im not messaging you for a free fuck, im here strictly to make money and to make you money.

So if this sounds good to you hun, get in touch and lets make it happen.

Look forward to hearing and working with you.

DANIEL XXXX
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 20 March 2013, 05:38:18 pm
Quote from: MissKylie on 20 March 2013, 05:30:39 pm

Good Afternoon Babe,

hope your good and making loadsa money.

Iv just created this new profile. Instead of putting pictures of my cock i thought let me use face pics until i have content worth showing.

The reason why I am contacting is to see what your views are on a business proposal I have in mind.

Like my profile states, were all here to make money and lots of it.

Me being a young black guy, interracial is very popular and Men and couples pay good money to see this type of interaction, whether it be via meets or webcam or content i.e. photos and videos.

I want you to be a part of this, I Have a property we can work from, you can also do incalls here.

Im not messaging you for a free fuck, im here strictly to make money and to make you money.

So if this sounds good to you hun, get in touch and lets make it happen.

Look forward to hearing and working with you.

DANIEL XXXX

doing the rounds!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 20 March 2013, 05:54:07 pm
Oh dear is Daniel doing the rounds again lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 24 March 2013, 03:31:55 am
3am...guy texts asking for outcall to his hotel. Tell him I only work afternoons and evenings. So he says...Well can you come at 6am then?  :FF

When I point out 6am is still in the morning, he asks can I reccomend anyone or an agency who work at this time of night or that early in the morning. I tell him I've no idea as I'm indie. He then has the cheek to ask if I'll do a web search for him for 24 hour escorts in the Mayfair area!

Jesus...maybe he'd like me to pay them for him too?

Get to bed Coty!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 25 March 2013, 05:06:54 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 17 March 2013, 11:55:43 pm
Classic "How not to book" behaviour...

Received tonight...


Hello sexy babe.

Recently joined Adultwork .
.I'm looking to meet a sexy lady for regular sex and naughty play at sessions.
I'm a 33 year old well hung, muscular male .

I've just seen your profile , WOW!! Nice pictures , you look and sound like a very sexy girl mmmmm. You make my cock hard babeee, been wanking over your sexy pictures babe but need the real thing.

Can we arrange to meet for our first 1hr naughty sex session babe?

Hope to hear from you soon.

Alan .



Let me guess (NOT!)....spamming everyone he fancies?  ::)


Aww gutted !!! I thought "alan" only wanked over my pics :( .....you have shatterted my dreams of this well hung stud comign to fuck me ( for free) now !!



;) ..........LOL.

I blocked this literal "wanker" straight off . It read that not only is he a copy n paste spammer but a freebie hunter
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 25 March 2013, 09:49:17 pm
subject: toenails

Comment: Hi **** how are you my name is xxxxxx I live in xxxxx I would like to make a time to come and polish your  toenails for you do you like your toenails long or short and black do you like your nails and feet black toenail polish do you always do them this color like to now thanks


WHAT??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 26 March 2013, 12:29:08 am
text message about 5 min ago:

hi hunni, Ive seen your advert online, are you free thursday afternoon?

 :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF

my answer: please ask me again thursday  ::)

whats wrong with these people???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 26 March 2013, 12:36:48 am
Quote from: hotblondie28 on 26 March 2013, 12:29:08 am
text message about 5 min ago:

hi hunni, Ive seen your advert online, are you free thursday afternoon?

 :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF

my answer: please ask me again thursday  ::)

whats wrong with these people???

OK, this one has lost me - I've just taken a booking for Thursday afternoon from a text enquiry (I've been busy all day and then on a train for three hours) and I don't understand what the problem is with the above (bar the 'h*nni', which admittedly would be an instant red card on the grounds that being able to remember who you're contacting for long enough to complete your opening gambit is a rule of mine ;D).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nobody Interesting on 26 March 2013, 12:41:22 am
Same here. I got a booking earlier for this pay day and next from a client.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: reneesme on 26 March 2013, 12:53:58 am
I just had a phone call

"Hi is that Reneesme?"

I say yes
he says " just to let you know I'm having a wank over your pictures!"

Be still my beating heart !!! ffs  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 26 March 2013, 01:45:42 am
problem is I never had a genuine client to show after booking in advance, so I dont take advanced bookings ::)
especially one 4 days in advance..
every girl has her own rules/procedures :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 26 March 2013, 05:33:45 am
Quote from: hotblondie28 on 26 March 2013, 01:45:42 am
problem is I never had a genuine client to show after booking in advance, so I dont take advanced bookings ::)
especially one 4 days in advance..
every girl has her own rules/procedures :)

That detail is a very small line buried in your website. Based on that, and the fact he may be just checking you'll be working that day, I don't see any problem with guys getting contacting you and asking you if you are available on Thursday.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 26 March 2013, 06:16:16 am
Quote from: sweet jane on 25 March 2013, 09:49:17 pm
subject: toenails

Comment: Hi **** how are you my name is xxxxxx I live in xxxxx I would like to make a time to come and polish your  toenails for you do you like your toenails long or short and black do you like your nails and feet black toenail polish do you always do them this color like to now thanks


WHAT??
must be an aroused travelling mobile nail technican !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 26 March 2013, 01:56:30 pm
Quote from: Strawberry on 26 March 2013, 05:33:45 am
Quote from: hotblondie28 on 26 March 2013, 01:45:42 am
problem is I never had a genuine client to show after booking in advance, so I dont take advanced bookings ::)
especially one 4 days in advance..
every girl has her own rules/procedures :)

That detail is a very small line buried in your website. Based on that, and the fact he may be just checking you'll be working that day, I don't see any problem with guys getting contacting you and asking you if you are available on Thursday.

I do, when that guy is asking about my availability 4 days in advance at 1 am in the morning :)
If he was genuine, he would ask me day time. he didnt reply to my message, so he must be a tw

Thank you Strawberry for pointing to my site small caps, I just corrected that :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tammyammy on 26 March 2013, 02:45:18 pm
Quote from: reneesme on 26 March 2013, 12:53:58 am
I just had a phone call

"Hi is that Reneesme?"

I say yes
he says " just to let you know I'm having a wank over your pictures!"

Be still my beating heart !!! ffs  :FF

Sorry, but this made me lol babes. tx  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 27 March 2013, 02:30:10 am
Hmmmm....not sure how this guy expects me to visit! Doesn't want to give me his phone number, who knows why! and doesn't want to give me the address as he's staying at a friends apartment for the night but doesn't think it's right he should tell an escort the adddress as it's not his place????  I'll just teleport then shall I?
Probabaly would have no money too! lol
 :FF



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 27 March 2013, 12:05:04 pm
Phone rings;

Me: Hi
Twat: I cant speak now I'm driving
Me: Ummm you called me?
Twat: Yeah sure, I'll call back later when Im not on the road.
Me: Your a strange little man aren't you!

Hang up. ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Belle1234 on 28 March 2013, 01:43:54 am
Few Years back i had a message on AW from a guy.. still makes me laugh..


" Can You fart"

That was the first email from him ... i answered yes, turns out the guy wanted me to fart in his face.. but i was giggling at the fact that everyone FARTS.

so yeah.. im very childish ... although i said no as it was not my thing to do. Lol Each to their own :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 28 March 2013, 05:13:58 am
Quote from: sarahbelle on 27 March 2013, 12:05:04 pm
Phone rings;

Me: Hi
Twat: I cant speak now I'm driving
Me: Ummm you called me?
Twat: Yeah sure, I'll call back later when Im not on the road.
Me: Your a strange little man aren't you!

Hang up. ???

bwahahahahahahaaaaa

And these people are allowed to breed! Scary!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 28 March 2013, 12:37:05 pm
Guy last night

Hi, I would like to visit you, but I got paid tomorrow
LOL
me: call me again tomorrow

another douche bag  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 28 March 2013, 03:52:13 pm
Quote from: hotblondie28 on 26 March 2013, 12:29:08 am
text message about 5 min ago:

hi hunni, Ive seen your advert online, are you free thursday afternoon?

 :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF

my answer: please ask me again thursday  ::)

whats wrong with these people???

Have to agree apart from the "Hi Hunni" I dont see a problem with this as a lot of girls myself including work in advance
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lucieparks4 on 28 March 2013, 04:06:01 pm
hi baby i just like to knw if u love to swallow? If u love it plz txt me nw on 07######### xxx


Yeah i love it. i just LOVE it. I love it so much I swallow EVERYTHING. Food, water, even my own saliva ;).....


Urrrghhh pleeease!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Moneypenny on 28 March 2013, 05:54:57 pm
How about this for direct and to the point text message...

"Anal?"

No...I don't...but you certainly are, you smooth-talking devil! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 29 March 2013, 08:32:57 am
Got one this morning... "if I pay you can I fuck you up the arse and cum over your tits" I responded with "oh sorry you must be confusing me with your mother who does do it for free"

Strangely I have not heard back from him.

I had a guy try and book me yesterday but blew his cover when he asked me to answer the door naked. I responded with yes of course and sent him the postcode for the police station lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 29 March 2013, 09:11:11 am
Hmm I think someone is reading these forums and posting silly emails. I got this one this morning.

Him:Arse?
I replied I know, I know. Hole.
Him: No need to be like that.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 29 March 2013, 12:56:27 pm
Quote from: Jan10 on 29 March 2013, 09:11:11 am
Hmm I think someone is reading these forums and posting silly emails. I got this one this morning.

Him:Arse?
I replied I know, I know. Hole.
Him: No need to be like that.  ;D

It's school holidays, the amount of stupid emails/texts will increase for a couple of weeks.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 29 March 2013, 01:01:21 pm
Quote from: Fluffy Bunny on 29 March 2013, 08:32:57 am
Got one this morning... "if I pay you can I fuck you up the arse and cum over your tits" I responded with "oh sorry you must be confusing me with your mother who does do it for free"

Strangely I have not heard back from him.

I had a guy try and book me yesterday but blew his cover when he asked me to answer the door naked. I responded with yes of course and sent him the postcode for the police station lol
you should have suggested he turn up naked at the police station ha ha!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 29 March 2013, 02:18:52 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 29 March 2013, 12:56:27 pm
Quote from: Jan10 on 29 March 2013, 09:11:11 am
Hmm I think someone is reading these forums and posting silly emails. I got this one this morning.

Him:Arse?
I replied I know, I know. Hole.
Him: No need to be like that.  ;D

It's school holidays, the amount of stupid emails/texts will increase for a couple of weeks.

You are telling me!!!! Phones calls too...ok I know I'm in a new area but.........the amount of TWs/idiots/attempted sexchatters and also the utterly clueless guys who don't seem to think it important that you need a start time & a duration for an appointment is driving me crazy.

I am ready to scream!!! Not only that but bored witless as actual real genuine appointments seem like gold dust this week  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MMxx on 01 April 2013, 11:46:38 pm
Hi all. Been lurking here for a few weeks but had to join to let u know of my experience today. It's still making me chuckle. So a punter rings up just as I come out of Sainsburys at about midday. ' hi it's Simon(ok don't remember u but go on) are u free? Me: yes I'm out at the mo but won't take me long to get home. What time were u thinking? Him: well if u cud pick me up from home (about 15 mins drive) then take me to xxx pub to pick up my car(another 15 mins drive) then I cud come to yours. Another ten min drive for me. I obviously told him I didn't want to do all that driving around. Wish I'd used more explicit language now! Wtf?! Bloody cheek!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 01 April 2013, 11:56:04 pm
Had a reg call today saying he didnt have much time and could I just fit him in for a "quickie", now I absolutely hate being rushed, but .................

Two minutes after the call he texts, so what sexy outfit are you going to wear for me today then ?? ............... on a 15 minutes quickie booking  :FF :FF :FF  he got short thrift from me, oh and no booking .  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MMxx on 02 April 2013, 12:13:07 am
Adding to my post. He then replied  " ok then I'll ring u when i get to my car. It will take me an hour. I knew he wouldn't  . And he didn't !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 02 April 2013, 12:18:18 am
MM their is a "modify" button at the top right hand side of your post which will allow you to edit and add to posts.  Saves adding other posts.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MMxx on 02 April 2013, 12:29:02 am
Ok thank U LL xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 02 April 2013, 11:30:24 am
caller ..are youre breasts real?,
me, do you know what the word *natural* 34GG  bust means ?
oh ok
 are the images really you?
me .. oops dropped the phone and cut caller  off !!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 02 April 2013, 02:00:11 pm
Quote from: O :) on 02 April 2013, 11:30:24 am
caller ..are youre breasts real?,
me, do you know what the word *natural* 34GG  bust means ?
oh ok
 are the images really you?
me .. oops dropped the phone and cut caller  off !!!!

I get the same sort of caller a lot, only about my pubic hair (I know :D). They would ask if I'm 'definitely natural?', I reply 'Yes', 'so you definitely don't shave then, is it very hairy?' at which point my phone drops the connection...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 02 April 2013, 02:10:03 pm
Quote from: O :) on 02 April 2013, 11:30:24 am
caller ..are youre breasts real?,
me, do you know what the word *natural* 34GG  bust means ?
oh ok
 are the images really you?
me .. oops dropped the phone and cut caller  off !!!!

"are your breasts real"
"no, they're imaginary."

 :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 02 April 2013, 02:15:50 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 02 April 2013, 02:10:03 pm
"are your breasts real"
"no, they're imaginary."

 :D

"The Matrix is everywhere" ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coco-rayy on 02 April 2013, 04:37:39 pm
LOOOL I got a email saying "I can only afford ?20" felt to punch him LOOOL
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 02 April 2013, 06:27:44 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 02 April 2013, 02:10:03 pm
Quote from: O :) on 02 April 2013, 11:30:24 am
caller ..are youre breasts real?,
me, do you know what the word *natural* 34GG  bust means ?
oh ok
 are the images really you?
me .. oops dropped the phone and cut caller  off !!!!

"are your breasts real"
"no, they're imaginary."

 :D

I usually tell them that if they aren't then I had a really crap surgeon
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 06 April 2013, 12:36:02 am
'Dear Goddess Cleo,'......... a bad start, as this is NOT my working name  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ana30 on 06 April 2013, 12:46:08 am
Client- "Hi, is your place discreet?"
Me- "No, I have a huge red neon sign outside of my building that says: "sEX FOR PAY HERE!!"
Client- LOL!

.........

Client: "Hi, is it you the girl in the pictures?"
Me- "No, it's my next door neighbour. I just love to take the piss on her"

.................

Client: "Hi, what services do you offer?"
Me- "I'm a plumber"
Client: "Ooops, sorry...wrong number"

......

I'm surprised I'm still in business...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 06 April 2013, 12:55:10 am
LMFAO
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 06 April 2013, 11:05:05 am
Got this generous offer through freeads ::)

?20 for 30mins?x

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ellie44 on 08 April 2013, 03:19:23 pm
Me (after a phone call)- I only work Mon to Fri as stated in my profile honey. Have a read and get back to me on my actual working days.

Him- whats your name of aw (typos included here and this after SOMEHOW finding my number without seeing my name splashed across top of profile!)

Me- Sorry im not working today as I said. That includes texts and calls. Have a good day.

Please PLEASE forget my name permanently! Le sigh....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ellie44 on 08 April 2013, 03:46:58 pm
I had one on tour, this was the phonecall-

Him- Hi id like to make a booking
Me- When and how long for honey?
Him- How long do you think ill need?
Me- Err well I dont know sweetheart, I cant tell YOU how YOU sexually perform, iv never met you and have no idea how long youll need!
Him- Ill have two hours then please
Me- (Sigh- another one thinking hes superman in bed) Ok honey
Him- You do anal dont you, is it free with the booking? (He meant not extra)
Me- I dont do anal sorry
Him- Yes you do its on your profile
Me- No it isnt
Him- Yes it is
Me- Ok im on my profile now, tell me please EXACTLY where it says I do anal (I knew it didnt say it anywhere and wanted to show him up)
Him- Right at the top of your likes list
Me- That says anal "play"
Him-Oh right, whats that then if it isnt anal?
Me- (Thinking here we go another sex chatter) Sweetheart SURELY you can differentiate between anal SEX and anal PLAY, I dont really need to tell you do I?
Him- Im not going to book you seem a bit (mumble mumble)
Me- I think youre right honey, we arent suited at all!

MY OH MY!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mizz_noelle on 09 April 2013, 04:16:51 am
Voicemail I received at about 3:30AM one morning:

"Uhhh..hey..I'm uh looking for a hooker...uh wait..sorry..I didn't mean to say hooker, escort, hum, call me back please"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 09 April 2013, 01:22:59 pm
Quote from: mizz_noelle on 09 April 2013, 04:16:51 am
Voicemail I received at about 3:30AM one morning:

"Uhhh..hey..I'm uh looking for a hooker...uh wait..sorry..I didn't mean to say hooker, escort, hum, call me back please"

Pure class :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyofthemansion on 10 April 2013, 11:38:53 am
Guy phoned and booked for tonight then it followed with lots texts about my boob size and him cumming hard.

Tried all sorts of ways to stop his texts starting with "I'm driving so not safe to text" then "battery low so please just call when you arrive" then "I really don't like texting xxxxxxxx but look forward to seeing you"

He continued so I cancelled him. He may have turned out nice but the texting was getting on my nerves. Didn't mind the first one or two but it went on and on and on.......
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 10 April 2013, 12:39:51 pm
Just reported a guy for spamming, as I'm sure I wasn't the only one he contacted...

message went something like:

hows u? looking good. U a fan of hung black?


 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 11 April 2013, 01:09:03 am
Quote from: ladyofthemansion on 10 April 2013, 11:38:53 am
Guy phoned and booked for tonight then it followed with lots texts about my boob size and him cumming hard.

Tried all sorts of ways to stop his texts starting with "I'm driving so not safe to text" then "battery low so please just call when you arrive" then "I really don't like texting xxxxxxxx but look forward to seeing you"

He continued so I cancelled him. He may have turned out nice but the texting was getting on my nerves. Didn't mind the first one or two but it went on and on and on.......

I think I had him tonight too....will pm you!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 11 April 2013, 09:35:37 am
I had a client like that, I had seen him once way back. He made a booking and didn't turn up. If they don't turn up I never contact them, it's no skin off my nose. He then made another booking and with it came question after question. Do I offer this or that service, can he do this or that even though he reckon he had read my profile. Then came the question marks when I refused to respond to his persistent texting. This went on for hours, days, weeks until he eventually gave up. The prick.

I have seen this client before and he was nice at the time but the continuous texting is a big big turn off, it makes me think that they have the potential to become a nightmare if I play their game.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 11 April 2013, 12:40:18 pm
Annoying email du jour.
how much for one?
I replied, being bored and all.
One what? An arm, a leg, an eye? One what?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 12 April 2013, 06:37:06 am
 @ 2pm yesterday  from a texter. are you free?
                            me-call to book please.
                             texter I cant
                             me, then I don't take youre booking,.
                            texter after 3,30pm , I called you you said 4 pm !!!
                             me, I hadn't even spoken with you , as you claimed you couldn't call !!!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyjennaj on 12 April 2013, 10:20:49 am
'I would like to f*ck you anally, and then rub myself all over your face.'  ::)

Nice....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 12 April 2013, 10:29:31 am
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 12 April 2013, 10:20:49 am
'I would like to f*ck you anally, and then rub myself all over your face.'  ::)

Nice....
not in your lifetime !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 13 April 2013, 05:16:47 pm
A side-effect of Adultwork's downtime:

"hi, the adult work website doesn't seem to load so i've been unable to view that profile, i would ask you then if you send me more pictures and maybe some videos if you have some available to send."

We told him that he'd have to make do with the content on our website and wait for AW to be back online, and then we got this just now:

"Hi, now that the adultwork website is back up i did have a look at your profile however i have no credits on the site so i wasn't able to view your private album, so would it be possible for you to send me some pictures and videos as many as you could would be great, via email."

*rolls eyes*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Redhead on 13 April 2013, 07:06:23 pm
Text received a couple of days ago:

'I love pregnant lady's call me xxx'

Phone call today: 'Are you beautiful'. No, I'm hideous...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 13 April 2013, 08:05:38 pm
Quote from: SexyBiAmy & James on 13 April 2013, 05:16:47 pm
A side-effect of Adultwork's downtime:

"hi, the adult work website doesn't seem to load so i've been unable to view that profile, i would ask you then if you send me more pictures and maybe some videos if you have some available to send."

We told him that he'd have to make do with the content on our website and wait for AW to be back online, and then we got this just now:

"Hi, now that the adultwork website is back up i did have a look at your profile however i have no credits on the site so i wasn't able to view your private album, so would it be possible for you to send me some pictures and videos as many as you could would be great, via email."

*rolls eyes*

I've been getting a few of those...as Adultwork is down, messages!  Had one last night from a guy I saw ages ago....."As AW is down I can't browse, but luckily I still have your number stored so can you come out now?"  hahaha...Feel so flattered...NOT....any port in a storm and last chicken in Sainsburys both came to mind! lmao So I declined! Maybe cutting off my nose to spite my face again, but I'd like to be chosen because they WANT to see me, not because there's no alternative! hahahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: x-Veronica-x on 13 April 2013, 08:56:03 pm
Hi hun I'm jay from kings guards i have a position for a girl / girls to act as my girlfriend at celeb functions and parties,weddings etc.. about 6 or 7 times a month I have a security company that i supply security and bodyguards to the rich and famous i have proof who and what i am and the rates are 700min a time plus transport and expenses etc.. if your interested email me and we're have a chat and see if your the one sweet x I need a sexy lady / lady's who I can trust likes a laugh and willing to do what it takes in return I pay 700 per venue supply phone transport insurances even a 200 per venue clothing allowance obviously it needs to look and feel real and were relaxed together so that you ?


I think someone's in fantasy land :)
At a guess I reckon he's copy and pasted this many times
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 13 April 2013, 11:55:58 pm
I am in absolute hysterics reading these comments, thanks ladies for keeping me entertained  ;D

This from one emailer........(I say emailer because he got no further)

'I am based in NW London and had to extend my search radius to find you. Indeed I can't recall the last time I saw an escort south of the river (I hope this doesn't sound snobbish!) but why would I pay ?200 per hour for someone south of the river, that seams unreasonable'.................and he ends the email with...............PS - I hope you aren't put off by beards. I keep mine reasonably trimmed and have been told by ladies that it feels good when deployed in sensitive areas, deployed WTF? is his beard off to war?

I've not responded, I have a policy of not responding to idiots, but he keeps emailing everyday wanting to know why I will not see him which makes me chuckle.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 14 April 2013, 02:16:26 am
Quote from: ClaireJayne on 13 April 2013, 11:55:58 pm
PS - I hope you aren't put off by beards. I keep mine reasonably trimmed and have been told by ladies that it feels good when deployed in sensitive areas, deployed WTF? is his beard off to war?


bwahahahahahahahaha

Thank you so much....that's made my day...hilarious! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 14 April 2013, 02:49:20 am
Not only have I had Hi....my name's Phil, this week but I've gained another one who has text me 10 times now. I replied 3 times. 1st answering his question...2nd and 3rd times telling him he's asked before. Since then I've ignored it.  So who else has had...........Hi how are you? I'm Michael (sometimes Mick, sometimes Micky) age 28 you mind me having a speech problem? Just mild.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 14 April 2013, 05:17:19 am
Quote from: Coty on 14 April 2013, 02:16:26 am
Quote from: ClaireJayne on 13 April 2013, 11:55:58 pm
PS - I hope you aren't put off by beards. I keep mine reasonably trimmed and have been told by ladies that it feels good when deployed in sensitive areas, deployed WTF? is his beard off to war?


bwahahahahahahahaha

Thank you so much....that's made my day...hilarious!
+1 :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 14 April 2013, 07:08:35 am
Quote from: Coty on 14 April 2013, 02:49:20 am
Not only have I had Hi....my name's Phil, this week but I've gained another one who has text me 10 times now. I replied 3 times. 1st answering his question...2nd and 3rd times telling him he's asked before. Since then I've ignored it.  So who else has had...........Hi how are you? I'm Michael (sometimes Mick, sometimes Micky) age 28 you mind me having a speech problem? Just mild.

Oh deary me I've had someone texting me claiming to have a speech problem, often late at night. Could it be the same person?

Just checked and the wording, name used is the same.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foxydeelight on 14 April 2013, 08:13:13 am
Quote from: Strawberry on 14 April 2013, 07:08:35 am
Quote from: Coty on 14 April 2013, 02:49:20 am
Not only have I had Hi....my name's Phil, this week but I've gained another one who has text me 10 times now. I replied 3 times. 1st answering his question...2nd and 3rd times telling him he's asked before. Since then I've ignored it.  So who else has had...........Hi how are you? I'm Michael (sometimes Mick, sometimes Micky) age 28 you mind me having a speech problem? Just mild.

Oh deary me I've had someone texting me claiming to have a speech problem, often late at night. Could it be the same person?

Just checked and the wording, name used is the same.
.
Ive had that text, glad ive,seen this now and relieved i didnt reply ( only cos phone was off)  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 14 April 2013, 09:50:14 am
Quote from: Coty on 14 April 2013, 02:49:20 am
Not only have I had Hi....my name's Phil, this week but I've gained another one who has text me 10 times now. I replied 3 times. 1st answering his question...2nd and 3rd times telling him he's asked before. Since then I've ignored it.  So who else has had...........Hi how are you? I'm Michael (sometimes Mick, sometimes Micky) age 28 you mind me having a speech problem? Just mild.

I had someone the other day claim to have a speech problem, when I asked what type of speech problem and how severe they replied with "Its ok I can understand you", great he can understand me (how he knew this via text I dont know), but doesnt answer  my question or say if I would be able to understand him.

Think its an idiot doing the rounds lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 14 April 2013, 11:45:58 am
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 14 April 2013, 09:50:14 am
Quote from: Coty on 14 April 2013, 02:49:20 am
Not only have I had Hi....my name's Phil, this week but I've gained another one who has text me 10 times now. I replied 3 times. 1st answering his question...2nd and 3rd times telling him he's asked before. Since then I've ignored it.  So who else has had...........Hi how are you? I'm Michael (sometimes Mick, sometimes Micky) age 28 you mind me having a speech problem? Just mild.

I had someone the other day claim to have a speech problem, when I asked what type of speech problem and how severe they replied with "Its ok I can understand you", great he can understand me (how he knew this via text I dont know), but doesnt answer  my question or say if I would be able to understand him.

Think its an idiot doing the rounds lol

Yep I had him too and the cheeky article asked ME to call HIM, aye right !!  Mine was Michael too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 14 April 2013, 12:25:08 pm
He asked me to phone him. Definitely same person methinks.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 14 April 2013, 01:24:09 pm
Quote from: Coty on 14 April 2013, 02:49:20 am
Not only have I had Hi....my name's Phil, this week but I've gained another one who has text me 10 times now. I replied 3 times. 1st answering his question...2nd and 3rd times telling him he's asked before. Since then I've ignored it.  So who else has had...........Hi how are you? I'm Michael (sometimes Mick, sometimes Micky) age 28 you mind me having a speech problem? Just mild.

Oh yes had him, ignored him then he went into a garble about "kids nephew nice u sound lovly" "x u want ring say hi" "got to go out now but whats our name so i can ad you to contacts" still ignoring him and then i got "thank you how much" WEIRDO!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 14 April 2013, 06:10:15 pm
Yes same one, he asked me to ring him too. Which tickled me if he has a speech problem! Tw@
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 14 April 2013, 06:30:37 pm
i am only 17 years old and was wondering if you would take someone of my
age.
i am willing to pay extra if you don't usually.

Didn't bother trying to get back to him but maybe I should have before his account was deleted to give him warning that he was in breach of ToS.

This is the first time I've had something like this happen, so out of curiosity I'd like to know if anyone else gets under 18's contacting them?  I recently shaved a few years off my age (had been honest about my age until now) and wondering if this might have anything to do with it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 14 April 2013, 06:35:25 pm
Holly I had a 17yr old and a 16yr old get in touch after seeing 1 of my ads , I don't ever see guys that young, one said in a high pitched  voice I love you !!!! noooo !!! ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 14 April 2013, 07:58:46 pm
Quote from: Holly G Taylor on 14 April 2013, 06:30:37 pm
i am only 17 years old and was wondering if you would take someone of my
age.
i am willing to pay extra if you don't usually.

Didn't bother trying to get back to him but maybe I should have before his account was deleted to give him warning that he was in breach of ToS.

This is the first time I've had something like this happen, so out of curiosity I'd like to know if anyone else gets under 18's contacting them?  I recently shaved a few years off my age (had been honest about my age until now) and wondering if this might have anything to do with it.

I've had someone contact me from various phone numbers, emails and AW accounts. Starts off with I'm 18 is that ok?Goes on to want to exchange lots of messages usually to arrange an appointment at a time that's inconvenient, then starts to say he's 17, then 16 but has 'used' ladies before. Then offers a ridiculously low amount of money for a booking.............oh and why won't I see him he can prove he's 16............... ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 15 April 2013, 10:05:43 am
O:) how awful - I think I'd die of... of... embarrassment/shock/horror (can't decide which) if I heard this... from ANY client.  Especially someone I would still consider a 'child'. 

And I'm starting to wish I had asked how much extra he was willing to offer, just for fun of course, Strawberry - but I suspect it would have been fairly low as well.  He did go on to say that he has, "done this sort of thing before and am experienced."  Quite similar, huh? 

And all of a sudden maturity just got a hell of a lot sexier.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 15 April 2013, 01:06:06 pm
Caller; hello( deep heavy breathings)
 me- yes can I help
caller, are you British, my name sunray!!!!
me , says all my details  on my profile
caller couldn't contains himself any longer, started heavy breathing to which I said you jerking off arnt you? then oops the phone cut him off !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 15 April 2013, 05:21:42 pm
Quote from: Holly G Taylor on 15 April 2013, 10:05:43 am
O:) how awful - I think I'd die of... of... embarrassment/shock/horror (can't decide which) if I heard this... from ANY client.  Especially someone I would still consider a 'child'. 

And I'm starting to wish I had asked how much extra he was willing to offer, just for fun of course, Strawberry - but I suspect it would have been fairly low as well.  He did go on to say that he has, "done this sort of thing before and am experienced."  Quite similar, huh? 

And all of a sudden maturity just got a hell of a lot sexier.

The one who contacts me often says "I'm a paying customer" as if he's saying his money is as good as anyone elses, before then offering ?10 or ?20 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 15 April 2013, 07:20:17 pm
 :FF  Message on AW

 Hi Coty, I'm in town all week, which evenings and times would you be available?


My reply.... not this evening but any time the rest of the week.


Him....Oh that's a shame I wanted it tonight!

 :FF


God give me strength!



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 15 April 2013, 10:07:26 pm
I had a weird one today... i was logged on for phonechat and a guy called me on my bookings mobile from a witheld number started discussing phonechat.  I stopped him and told him he needed to go through the right channels.  He then told me that he had etc which is total bullshit and then continued about losing credits etc. 

I told him to email me via AW and I will then see if the system had booked a phonechat.  No surprise no email.

Guys will try anything on these days.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: figa98 on 16 April 2013, 05:45:37 am
Hi,this is not your usual email. I am Martin I am a fit 28 year old who works out. I see from your profile you have a very high sex drive and I was wondering if you would be my swinging partner?.I love like you swinging,group sex, and meeting people for sex. I would respect you at all times.No money would be exchanged but we can have a great time.

Me.... IF YOU CANNOT AFFORD THE SWEETS DO NOT GO INTO THE SWEET SHOP..... BLOCKED!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 16 April 2013, 06:39:55 am
Quote from: figa98 on 16 April 2013, 05:45:37 am
Hi,this is not your usual email. I am Martin I am a fit 28 year old who works out. I see from your profile you have a very high sex drive and I was wondering if you would be my swinging partner?.I love like you swinging,group sex, and meeting people for sex. I would respect you at all times.No money would be exchanged but we can have a great time.

Me.... IF YOU CANNOT AFFORD THE SWEETS DO NOT GO INTO THE SWEET SHOP..... BLOCKED!

This is something you will be asked a few times, not that unusual and the guys say "well if you don't ask".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 16 April 2013, 09:45:13 am
Quote from: figa98 on 16 April 2013, 05:45:37 am

Me.... IF YOU CANNOT AFFORD THE SWEETS DO NOT GO INTO THE SWEET SHOP..... BLOCKED!


Oh...I'm going to use that in future! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 16 April 2013, 01:26:15 pm
Quote from: Coty on 14 April 2013, 02:49:20 am
Not only have I had Hi....my name's Phil, this week but I've gained another one who has text me 10 times now. I replied 3 times. 1st answering his question...2nd and 3rd times telling him he's asked before. Since then I've ignored it.  So who else has had...........Hi how are you? I'm Michael (sometimes Mick, sometimes Micky) age 28 you mind me having a speech problem? Just mild.

Oh...he's changed tact....now he's asking if I do water sports lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 16 April 2013, 02:59:07 pm
Oh lovely text just now!

I'm looking for a mature lady so I can rent her pussy and insert objects and give it a good thrusting with a baseball bat.
 :o :-X :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: figa98 on 16 April 2013, 08:23:20 pm
pass him over coty I will show him what I will do to him with his baseball bat........
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 16 April 2013, 08:29:52 pm
Quote from: figa98 on 16 April 2013, 08:23:20 pm
pass him over coty I will show him what I will do to him with his baseball bat........

lmao   

He's now in my phone book as S____, baseball bat weirdo and he's text loads more and phoned and left a voice message. I'm ignoring as I'm far to polite to tell him where to put his bloody baseball bat!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 16 April 2013, 08:31:05 pm
Quote from: Strawberry on 14 April 2013, 12:25:08 pm
He asked me to phone him. Definitely same person methinks.

Had our friend Michael texting again today.  He seems to be sharing with everyone of late.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 16 April 2013, 08:32:49 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 16 April 2013, 08:31:05 pm
Had our friend Michael texting again today.  He seems to be sharing with everyone of late.

Hope he gets free texts! lol

So what was he today? Speech impediment, disabled or wanting water sports?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 16 April 2013, 09:21:16 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 16 April 2013, 08:31:05 pm
Quote from: Strawberry on 14 April 2013, 12:25:08 pm
He asked me to phone him. Definitely same person methinks.

Had our friend Michael texting again today.  He seems to be sharing with everyone of late.

Left me alone, but I did send a few err thought provoking responses to his text messages.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 16 April 2013, 09:35:26 pm
Quote from: Strawberry on 16 April 2013, 09:21:16 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 16 April 2013, 08:31:05 pm
Quote from: Strawberry on 14 April 2013, 12:25:08 pm
He asked me to phone him. Definitely same person methinks.

Had our friend Michael texting again today.  He seems to be sharing with everyone of late.

Left me alone, but I did send a few err thought provoking responses to his text messages.

Oh Strawberry I was sorely tempted to text back "Cant talk properly AND cant spell either ............ not got much going for you, have you?"  ......... but I stopped myself.  He really is an eejit.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady c on 17 April 2013, 09:19:50 am
A text i just had....
Hi babe i don,t have any money, but i can pay you in coke, you interested???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 17 April 2013, 04:41:05 pm
I had a text session with our Michael last night as he woke me up (forgot to switch phone off) with his usual, I'm Michael, speech impediment, disabled.........
and I'm afraid I lost it as I'm actually on the verge of a breakdown right now.  :'(

I text back 'yes we all know you Michael with the speech impediment, disability, who likes water sports, who drives escorts from Lands End to John O'Groats insane with constant texts and asking them to phone you back. STOP TEXTING ME...delete my number NOW!'

He replied..Fuck off you lying twat.

I ignored it....then got...Why are you escorts all so nasty? I'm really upset now.

I calmed down and told him that we're not nasty, we just don't see the point in someone disturbing us (and in my case waking me up) with inane texts.

He said he's nervous because of his disability and wants someone he can trust!

So I asked him where he was...he said Newcastle, so I told him there was no point bothing escorts in London and Scotland then. I advised him to find a site for escorts in his area and contact one there.  He then asked what he should say to them  :FF  as they get mad if he phones because of his speech and get mad if he texts too.  So I explained to just text ONCE explaining his situation and if they reply take it from there...and to try and make them feel a bit special...like you've chosen them because when 100 escorts are getting the same inane texts it certainly doesn't make you feel special. He thanked me for the advice and said he felt better now (as I'd really upset him before...which I did feel bad about, hence me calming down and giving him advice)  So thought I'd done my good deed for the night and hoped he would find what he was looking for.........
and what happens?

I'm woken up in the morning by the same freaking, Hi I'm Michael text  :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 17 April 2013, 07:43:47 pm
Quote from: Coty on 17 April 2013, 04:41:05 pm
I had a text session with our Michael last night as he woke me up (forgot to switch phone off) with his usual, I'm Michael, speech impediment, disabled.........
and I'm afraid I lost it as I'm actually on the verge of a breakdown right now.  :'(

I text back 'yes we all know you Michael with the speech impediment, disability, who likes water sports, who drives escorts from Lands End to John O'Groats insane with constant texts and asking them to phone you back. STOP TEXTING ME...delete my number NOW!'

He replied..Fuck off you lying twat.

I ignored it....then got...Why are you escorts all so nasty? I'm really upset now.

I calmed down and told him that we're not nasty, we just don't see the point in someone disturbing us (and in my case waking me up) with inane texts.

He said he's nervous because of his disability and wants someone he can trust!

So I asked him where he was...he said Newcastle, so I told him there was no point bothing escorts in London and Scotland then. I advised him to find a site for escorts in his area and contact one there.  He then asked what he should say to them  :FF  as they get mad if he phones because of his speech and get mad if he texts too.  So I explained to just text ONCE explaining his situation and if they reply take it from there...and to try and make them feel a bit special...like you've chosen them because when 100 escorts are getting the same inane texts it certainly doesn't make you feel special. He thanked me for the advice and said he felt better now (as I'd really upset him before...which I did feel bad about, hence me calming down and giving him advice)  So thought I'd done my good deed for the night and hoped he would find what he was looking for.........
and what happens?

I'm woken up in the morning by the same freaking, Hi I'm Michael text  :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF

I've a good idea he knows exactly what he's doing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: figa98 on 17 April 2013, 11:04:02 pm
He knows exactly what he is doing. He is sucking each text he receives from you like mosqieto's suck your blood when they bite you! and that's what he is a mosqieto! , ( not sure that is correct spelling of mozzies sorry!  )
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 18 April 2013, 01:54:16 pm
What's the bets "Michael" isn't disabled in any way, and gets off on this "I'm Michael with a speech impediment" act?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 18 April 2013, 08:08:08 pm
Coty, you were far too nice. Let him start texting me shite like that, I will have him about to jump off a bridge, when I am done with him. People like that , do not deserve your precious time.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 18 April 2013, 08:11:53 pm
Quote from: VioletteUK on 18 April 2013, 08:08:08 pm
Coty, you were far too nice. Let him start texting me shite like that, I will have him about to jump off a bridge, when I am done with him. People like that , do not deserve your precious time.

Tart with a heart my cousin calls me....yes way too nice for my own good  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 18 April 2013, 08:13:31 pm
Quote from: Coty on 18 April 2013, 08:11:53 pm
Quote from: VioletteUK on 18 April 2013, 08:08:08 pm
Coty, you were far too nice. Let him start texting me shite like that, I will have him about to jump off a bridge, when I am done with him. People like that , do not deserve your precious time.

Tart with a heart my cousin calls me....yes way too nice for my own good  >:(
Be sweet and nice with people you love, but idiots like that deserve only your disdain. And when bored, some scathing texts to break the monotony.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 19 April 2013, 10:37:07 am
Just had a "lovely" guy on phone, "do I do couples", "No", "do you do roleplay?" "Yes", now I am 99.999999999999% sure its for affect ............. "Its for me and my sister" ...................... oooooooooops phone fell and disconnected caller. Eejit.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 19 April 2013, 07:53:15 pm

Hey There Kylie sorry for this rather abrupt Email in regards to a fantasy of mine but i'm a little unsure as to which way to write it without sounding terribly rude lol, so as a gentleman my etiquette is about to drop like a dressing gown at the command at the exciting depravity that stands before me lol.

Anyway enough rambling....and to the POINT! lol :)

I have, like most do, a fantasy that sends tingles up my spine by the mere idea of it and I think the idea is long overdue a little animation to the cause. My Names Matty and i'm 30 from leicesterhire, i'm by no means what you'd class as a mucky old man by the sight of me but simply a moderately attractive male with a love for escapism and fantasy who adores the idea of being made a cuckold. So, that being said if you have a male partner..Husband/boyfriend/Lover..who you already have unprotected sex with, it would be amazing to have you grind a freshly fucked pussy dripping with spunk in to my face and make me clean you up, i'm also very much into bottom worship IE sniffing/Licking and being wee'd on. If possible it would be nice for the other man to be in a separate room as the mystery adds to it, i'm not bisexual so the cum play would (in a sense) the lady's total power over me to assert her fertile femininity.

Sorry for the over long message and if you require any more info on me such as pics or such then please let me know. Also I have had an experience similar to this before which was rather an anti climax due to the lady asking my permission to do such things like lick her feet and her bottom ect ect lol I'd like to be put in the position of a strong willed woman who TELLS me I MUST do what she says lol. I think the problem is is that I come across as too innocent or "Sweet" so i was told, which makes it hard for them to be nasty like I want lol.

Anyway I hope very much we could act out this fantasy together and I look forward to hopefully hearing back from you.

Lots of Luv Matty xx
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady c on 19 April 2013, 10:23:34 pm
just got this.............




AM MARK PHILIP FROM UK,YOU CAN REACH ME
 (+4408447748718 ) I WILL NEED YOU
 ON MY VACATION TOUR TO AFRICA ON THE 12TH OF MAY AND I WILL BE THERE
 FOR 8DAYS, I WILL NEED YOU TO ESCORT ME TO AFRICA IN NIGERIA.I JUST
 CHECK YOUR ADS OUT AND FOUND YOU SO COOL AND DECIDED PICK YOU .PLEASE
 MAIL ME BACK IF YOU WANT TO GO WITH ME. I AM READY TO OFFER YOU A GOOD
 SUM. HOPE 2,000 POUNDS PER DAY FOR ONE WEEK (8DAYS) IS OK. AND AN
 UPFRONT WILL BE PAID TO YOU EVEN BEFORE YOU LEAVE YOUR STATE.ALL
 NECESSARY DOCUMENT WILL BE ARRANGED BY ME SO FEEL FREE TO GET BACK TO
 ME ASAP. LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING BACK FROM YOU. PLEASE GET BACK TO ME
 ONLY IF YOU ARE WILLING TO GO WITH ME . PLEASE DO GET BACK TO ME ASAP
 BECAUSE OF OTHER THINGS AT HAND BECAUSE AM ALWAYS BUSY.LOL  JUST MAIL
 ME BACK OKAY?













 











AM MARK PHILIP FROM UK,YOU CAN REACH ME
 (+4408447748718 ) I WILL NEED YOU
 ON MY VACATION TOUR TO AFRICA ON THE 12TH OF MAY AND I WILL BE THERE
 FOR 8DAYS, I WILL NEED YOU TO ESCORT ME TO AFRICA IN NIGERIA.I JUST
 CHECK YOUR ADS OUT AND FOUND YOU SO COOL AND DECIDED PICK YOU .PLEASE
 MAIL ME BACK IF YOU WANT TO GO WITH ME. I AM READY TO OFFER YOU A GOOD
 SUM. HOPE 2,000 POUNDS PER DAY FOR ONE WEEK (8DAYS) IS OK. AND AN
 UPFRONT WILL BE PAID TO YOU EVEN BEFORE YOU LEAVE YOUR STATE.ALL
 NECESSARY DOCUMENT WILL BE ARRANGED BY ME SO FEEL FREE TO GET BACK TO
 ME ASAP. LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING BACK FROM YOU. PLEASE GET BACK TO ME
 ONLY IF YOU ARE WILLING TO GO WITH ME . PLEASE DO GET BACK TO ME ASAP
 BECAUSE OF OTHER THINGS AT HAND BECAUSE AM ALWAYS BUSY.LOL  JUST MAIL
 ME BACK OKAY?













 




















Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 19 April 2013, 10:31:35 pm
Quote from: ladychannel on 19 April 2013, 10:23:34 pm
just got this.............




AM MARK PHILIP FROM UK,YOU CAN REACH ME
 (+4408447748718 ) I WILL NEED YOU
 ON MY VACATION TOUR TO AFRICA ON THE 12TH OF MAY AND I WILL BE THERE
 FOR 8DAYS, I WILL NEED YOU TO ESCORT ME TO AFRICA IN NIGERIA.I JUST
 CHECK YOUR ADS OUT AND FOUND YOU SO COOL AND DECIDED PICK YOU .PLEASE
 MAIL ME BACK IF YOU WANT TO GO WITH ME. I AM READY TO OFFER YOU A GOOD
 SUM. HOPE 2,000 POUNDS PER DAY FOR ONE WEEK (8DAYS) IS OK. AND AN
 UPFRONT WILL BE PAID TO YOU EVEN BEFORE YOU LEAVE YOUR STATE.ALL
 NECESSARY DOCUMENT WILL BE ARRANGED BY ME SO FEEL FREE TO GET BACK TO
 ME ASAP. LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING BACK FROM YOU. PLEASE GET BACK TO ME
 ONLY IF YOU ARE WILLING TO GO WITH ME . PLEASE DO GET BACK TO ME ASAP
 BECAUSE OF OTHER THINGS AT HAND BECAUSE AM ALWAYS BUSY.LOL  JUST MAIL
 ME BACK OKAY?













 











AM MARK PHILIP FROM UK,YOU CAN REACH ME
 (+4408447748718 ) I WILL NEED YOU
 ON MY VACATION TOUR TO AFRICA ON THE 12TH OF MAY AND I WILL BE THERE
 FOR 8DAYS, I WILL NEED YOU TO ESCORT ME TO AFRICA IN NIGERIA.I JUST
 CHECK YOUR ADS OUT AND FOUND YOU SO COOL AND DECIDED PICK YOU .PLEASE
 MAIL ME BACK IF YOU WANT TO GO WITH ME. I AM READY TO OFFER YOU A GOOD
 SUM. HOPE 2,000 POUNDS PER DAY FOR ONE WEEK (8DAYS) IS OK. AND AN
 UPFRONT WILL BE PAID TO YOU EVEN BEFORE YOU LEAVE YOUR STATE.ALL
 NECESSARY DOCUMENT WILL BE ARRANGED BY ME SO FEEL FREE TO GET BACK TO
 ME ASAP. LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING BACK FROM YOU. PLEASE GET BACK TO ME
 ONLY IF YOU ARE WILLING TO GO WITH ME . PLEASE DO GET BACK TO ME ASAP
 BECAUSE OF OTHER THINGS AT HAND BECAUSE AM ALWAYS BUSY.LOL  JUST MAIL
 ME BACK OKAY?

Usual Nigerian scam email.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady c on 19 April 2013, 10:50:19 pm
whats that all about then? stupid people like it even comes across real..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 19 April 2013, 10:55:07 pm
Quote from: ladychannel on 19 April 2013, 10:50:19 pm
whats that all about then? stupid people like it even comes across real..

Passport and other personal details for a 'Visa', he'll also forward you a bit too much cash*they always offer large sums), then ask you to send the change. Meantime whilst you are doing that thinking it can't be reversed 'cos it's been in your account for quite a long time, the bankers draft/order/whatever is reversed. He gets money from you and you lose.

Classic Nigerian 918 scam.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nigerian_scam
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 19 April 2013, 11:42:07 pm
Quote from: Strawberry on 19 April 2013, 10:55:07 pm

Classic Nigerian 918 scam.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nigerian_scam

Yes, can we not post about (and quote) these here, please? There's already a thread about them in Q&A somewhere (and even that's not strictly on topic - it remains in case anybody thinks these emails are genuine).

I might also add that if anybody had thought this was a real enquiry, the name should have been removed.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 22 April 2013, 06:31:01 am
Quote from: ladychannel on 19 April 2013, 10:23:34 pm
just got this.............




AM MARK PHILIP FROM UK,YOU CAN REACH ME
 (+4408447748718 ) I WILL NEED YOU
 ON MY VACATION TOUR TO AFRICA ON THE 12TH OF MAY AND I WILL BE THERE
 FOR 8DAYS, I WILL NEED YOU TO ESCORT ME TO AFRICA IN NIGERIA.I JUST
 CHECK YOUR ADS OUT AND FOUND YOU SO COOL AND DECIDED PICK YOU .PLEASE
 MAIL ME BACK IF YOU WANT TO GO WITH ME. I AM READY TO OFFER YOU A GOOD
 SUM. HOPE 2,000 POUNDS PER DAY FOR ONE WEEK (8DAYS) IS OK. AND AN
 UPFRONT WILL BE PAID TO YOU EVEN BEFORE YOU LEAVE YOUR STATE.ALL
 NECESSARY DOCUMENT WILL BE ARRANGED BY ME SO FEEL FREE TO GET BACK TO
 ME ASAP. LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING BACK FROM YOU. PLEASE GET BACK TO ME
 ONLY IF YOU ARE WILLING TO GO WITH ME . PLEASE DO GET BACK TO ME ASAP
 BECAUSE OF OTHER THINGS AT HAND BECAUSE AM ALWAYS BUSY.LOL  JUST MAIL
 ME BACK OKAY?













 











AM MARK PHILIP FROM UK,YOU CAN REACH ME
 (+4408447748718 ) I WILL NEED YOU
 ON MY VACATION TOUR TO AFRICA ON THE 12TH OF MAY AND I WILL BE THERE
 FOR 8DAYS, I WILL NEED YOU TO ESCORT ME TO AFRICA IN NIGERIA.I JUST
 CHECK YOUR ADS OUT AND FOUND YOU SO COOL AND DECIDED PICK YOU .PLEASE
 MAIL ME BACK IF YOU WANT TO GO WITH ME. I AM READY TO OFFER YOU A GOOD
 SUM. HOPE 2,000 POUNDS PER DAY FOR ONE WEEK (8DAYS) IS OK. AND AN
 UPFRONT WILL BE PAID TO YOU EVEN BEFORE YOU LEAVE YOUR STATE.ALL
 NECESSARY DOCUMENT WILL BE ARRANGED BY ME SO FEEL FREE TO GET BACK TO
 ME ASAP. LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING BACK FROM YOU. PLEASE GET BACK TO ME
 ONLY IF YOU ARE WILLING TO GO WITH ME . PLEASE DO GET BACK TO ME ASAP
 BECAUSE OF OTHER THINGS AT HAND BECAUSE AM ALWAYS BUSY.LOL  JUST MAIL
 ME BACK OKAY?













 





















Got that one also just sent to spam ..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 22 April 2013, 11:14:44 am
 
Dear Linzi,

I am a dominant woman with a chaste, submissive cuckolded wimp of a husband whom I wish to be humiliated, mistreated and punished when I am away from home on business or pleasure.

From your interests in Adultwork you might be willing to help me in this.

My intention is to send you suggestions (which he will know nothing about) for you to subject him to.

He is a clean, healthy and very submissive.

If you are willing to assist me in this, please let me know and I will send you a suggested ?script? for his first visit.

Hoping you might be interested,

Meryl
 

7 years on the site and no FB, makes you sort of suspicious doesn't it.  Another guy who gets his jollies writing emails.  ::) :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shaiya on 22 April 2013, 07:50:58 pm
Prize for the most ridiculous yet -

Want a very sexy 15 year old to give u the best oral ever u can have ive had a 26,19,37 year old this week and les couple the week before that im VERY good at it and been even payed before so if your up for it free of charge nothing in return then get back to me asap tho wouldnt mind a bj or hj and im na a virgin ive had sex before tho i am clean and am wanting to eat you out
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 22 April 2013, 09:16:23 pm
Quote from: Shaiya on 22 April 2013, 07:50:58 pm
Prize for the most ridiculous yet -

Want a very sexy 15 year old to give u the best oral ever u can have ive had a 26,19,37 year old this week and les couple the week before that im VERY good at it and been even payed before so if your up for it free of charge nothing in return then get back to me asap tho wouldnt mind a bj or hj and im na a virgin ive had sex before tho i am clean and am wanting to eat you out

what an offer !!! the body of a blow up doll  which he may well have lost his virginity with  is very different to that of a real woman !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 23 April 2013, 12:36:53 pm
Quote from: O :) on 22 April 2013, 06:31:01 am
Quote from: ladychannel on 19 April 2013, 10:23:34 pm
just got this.............




AM MARK PHILIP FROM UK,YOU CAN REACH ME
 (+4408447748718 ) I WILL NEED YOU
 ON MY VACATION TOUR TO AFRICA ON THE 12TH OF MAY AND I WILL BE THERE
 FOR 8DAYS, I WILL NEED YOU TO ESCORT ME TO AFRICA IN NIGERIA.I JUST
 CHECK YOUR ADS OUT AND FOUND YOU SO COOL AND DECIDED PICK YOU .PLEASE
 MAIL ME BACK IF YOU WANT TO GO WITH ME. I AM READY TO OFFER YOU A GOOD
 SUM. HOPE 2,000 POUNDS PER DAY FOR ONE WEEK (8DAYS) IS OK. AND AN
 UPFRONT WILL BE PAID TO YOU EVEN BEFORE YOU LEAVE YOUR STATE.ALL
 NECESSARY DOCUMENT WILL BE ARRANGED BY ME SO FEEL FREE TO GET BACK TO
 ME ASAP. LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING BACK FROM YOU. PLEASE GET BACK TO ME
 ONLY IF YOU ARE WILLING TO GO WITH ME . PLEASE DO GET BACK TO ME ASAP
 BECAUSE OF OTHER THINGS AT HAND BECAUSE AM ALWAYS BUSY.LOL  JUST MAIL
 ME BACK OKAY?






I thought Mark Philip was married to Princess Anne once upon a time !!!






 











AM MARK PHILIP FROM UK,YOU CAN REACH ME
 (+4408447748718 ) I WILL NEED YOU
 ON MY VACATION TOUR TO AFRICA ON THE 12TH OF MAY AND I WILL BE THERE
 FOR 8DAYS, I WILL NEED YOU TO ESCORT ME TO AFRICA IN NIGERIA.I JUST
 CHECK YOUR ADS OUT AND FOUND YOU SO COOL AND DECIDED PICK YOU .PLEASE
 MAIL ME BACK IF YOU WANT TO GO WITH ME. I AM READY TO OFFER YOU A GOOD
 SUM. HOPE 2,000 POUNDS PER DAY FOR ONE WEEK (8DAYS) IS OK. AND AN
 UPFRONT WILL BE PAID TO YOU EVEN BEFORE YOU LEAVE YOUR STATE.ALL
 NECESSARY DOCUMENT WILL BE ARRANGED BY ME SO FEEL FREE TO GET BACK TO
 ME ASAP. LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING BACK FROM YOU. PLEASE GET BACK TO ME
 ONLY IF YOU ARE WILLING TO GO WITH ME . PLEASE DO GET BACK TO ME ASAP
 BECAUSE OF OTHER THINGS AT HAND BECAUSE AM ALWAYS BUSY.LOL  JUST MAIL
 ME BACK OKAY?













 





















Got that one also just sent to spam ..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Redhead on 23 April 2013, 06:31:28 pm
Answerphone message last week:

'I saw your gorgeous self on AW, please get back, yeah? I'd love to meet you today, you're gorgeous, oh god, yeah, come back darling.'

I did speak to him, and he didn't sound anywhere near as bad as he managed to make himself sound in the message. Told him to call me within 10 mins if he wanted a same day appointment, heard no more from him.

Until he sent a lovely text while I was away over the weekend:

Hi sorry got nervous the other day I am in *town* all day and would still like a meet if poss. *Name* xx you are welcome to my full details just a genuine middle aged lonely guy

And 10 mins later:

Hi darlin can you let me know please x

And today, a direct email fom someone else:

Hello, Happy new year I really hope i can make you my woman but it really depends on you, i want to make you happy no matter what. I am very relationship oriented and I believe life is too short to waste or play games. When I am in a relationship I am committed, honest, and loyal. I think that falling in love is always a good thing but it requires lot of work from both sides. There is always something to learn from being with someone, and happy times and memories should be cherished. Friendship comes first for me. I feel like you should treat somebody with respect and like they are a person not a piece of meat or whatever. I am the type of person who wants somebody to feel wanted not just as a trophy. I am a very affectionate person and I love to cuddle, I like to show somebody how I feel not just telling them. I love to be close to somebody whether it is in the bed on the couch or wherever. I guess my dreams would is to be happy and have a family that is my goals in life.
 
I was married for 30yrs but Death took her away from me, my late wife was an American and we both lived happily. I was given one of the best education I attended a high school owned by British priest in Stockholm, Sweden and later moved to the KTH Royal Institute of Technology University Stockholm ,Sweden where I had my  bachelors degree in Civil Engineering, what kind of relationship do you really wish to have? What's your religion? Favorite color? Date of birth? I am a catholic, Sky blue is my favorite color, I was born November 30 1961, i am looking for a long term relationship, what are favorite activities? Your favorite music? Your favorite cuisines?  What do you do for fun? Do you smoke and drink alcohol? i do drink socially and i don't smoke. My dad and mom are from Stockholm in Sweden. I want someone caring, honest and lovely to share life with me. I like playing basketball, biking, cooking, reading, novel and dancing. I need a very serious relationship. I want to know your mind. I believe honesty, faithfulness and open minded are the foundation for a good relationship. I want you to read my message carefully and answer all my questions.
 
Feel free to ask anything you want to know about me. I am a simple and very open minded man. Don't be scared that i will get upset if you ask any question. I'm not a materialistic individual or vain. I respect this world as I know it. I understand that one?s possessions do not determine the individual. So I don't seek someone because they have neither do I avoid someone because they don't have. I'm just seeking someone who believes in unity, co-operation, truth, love, dedication, partnership, trust. Someone who knows love and is able to recognize it when it?s present. It is great to be alive, so many things life offers to experience and be a part of. I want to find a simple woman that can smile about life. I want to find someone to build an everlasting friendship with, one we'll both value until our end. So if you think smiling and living life too. I am very outgoing and spontaneous like to have fun and travel a lot. I like to cook but also like fine dining. The rest you will have to ask maybe its you! Well i guess i can know more about you now? I am anxiously waiting for your message. And a picture of you take very good care of yourself and have a nice day
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarah sweeties on 23 April 2013, 08:20:22 pm
I got a classic one yesterday

him hi gorgeous I come across your profile and I say wow you are so amazing !
before I get chance to reply!
him Look im wanting a service but not sexual one more like I want to meet you go out
have dinner and couple drinks is that ok with ?
Me Yes of course I do dinner dates what day have you got in mind ?
him tomorrow afternoon for acouple of hours we meet at a bar your choice as I don,t know the city
well
Me ok what time first so I can check my diary on my availability ?
him 2pm to 2.30pm how does that grab you ?
me yes I got that time available and how long for because I do reduce rate for dinner dates ?
him Oh I thought you might just see me with no fee included as im buying you dinner and acouple of drinks !
Me  :FF what the hell have I registered on a wrong site here lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 23 April 2013, 11:17:28 pm
Quote from: Redhead on 23 April 2013, 06:31:28 pm
Answerphone message last week:

'I saw your gorgeous self on AW, please get back, yeah? I'd love to meet you today, you're gorgeous, oh god, yeah, come back darling.'

I did speak to him, and he didn't sound anywhere near as bad as he managed to make himself sound in the message. Told him to call me within 10 mins if he wanted a same day appointment, heard no more from him.

Until he sent a lovely text while I was away over the weekend:

Hi sorry got nervous the other day I am in *town* all day and would still like a meet if poss. *Name* xx you are welcome to my full details just a genuine middle aged lonely guy

And 10 mins later:

Hi darlin can you let me know please x

And today, a direct email fom someone else:

Hello, Happy new year I really hope i can make you my woman but it really depends on you, i want to make you happy no matter what. I am very relationship oriented and I believe life is too short to waste or play games. When I am in a relationship I am committed, honest, and loyal. I think that falling in love is always a good thing but it requires lot of work from both sides. There is always something to learn from being with someone, and happy times and memories should be cherished. Friendship comes first for me. I feel like you should treat somebody with respect and like they are a person not a piece of meat or whatever. I am the type of person who wants somebody to feel wanted not just as a trophy. I am a very affectionate person and I love to cuddle, I like to show somebody how I feel not just telling them. I love to be close to somebody whether it is in the bed on the couch or wherever. I guess my dreams would is to be happy and have a family that is my goals in life.
 
I was married for 30yrs but Death took her away from me, my late wife was an American and we both lived happily. I was given one of the best education I attended a high school owned by British priest in Stockholm, Sweden and later moved to the KTH Royal Institute of Technology University Stockholm ,Sweden where I had my  bachelors degree in Civil Engineering, what kind of relationship do you really wish to have? What's your religion? Favorite color? Date of birth? I am a catholic, Sky blue is my favorite color, I was born November 30 1961, i am looking for a long term relationship, what are favorite activities? Your favorite music? Your favorite cuisines?  What do you do for fun? Do you smoke and drink alcohol? i do drink socially and i don't smoke. My dad and mom are from Stockholm in Sweden. I want someone caring, honest and lovely to share life with me. I like playing basketball, biking, cooking, reading, novel and dancing. I need a very serious relationship. I want to know your mind. I believe honesty, faithfulness and open minded are the foundation for a good relationship. I want you to read my message carefully and answer all my questions.
 
Feel free to ask anything you want to know about me. I am a simple and very open minded man. Don't be scared that i will get upset if you ask any question. I'm not a materialistic individual or vain. I respect this world as I know it. I understand that one?s possessions do not determine the individual. So I don't seek someone because they have neither do I avoid someone because they don't have. I'm just seeking someone who believes in unity, co-operation, truth, love, dedication, partnership, trust. Someone who knows love and is able to recognize it when it?s present. It is great to be alive, so many things life offers to experience and be a part of. I want to find a simple woman that can smile about life. I want to find someone to build an everlasting friendship with, one we'll both value until our end. So if you think smiling and living life too. I am very outgoing and spontaneous like to have fun and travel a lot. I like to cook but also like fine dining. The rest you will have to ask maybe its you! Well i guess i can know more about you now? I am anxiously waiting for your message. And a picture of you take very good care of yourself and have a nice day

I've had that several times in the past. It's a typical scam mail. :-(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 23 April 2013, 11:40:11 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 18 April 2013, 01:54:16 pm
What's the bets "Michael" isn't disabled in any way, and gets off on this "I'm Michael with a speech impediment" act?

Just had a text from him asking how he reports an escort for swearing at him because he's disabled!  :FF   don't worry I'm not replying to him any more. He still texts daily!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 24 April 2013, 12:50:42 am
Quote from: Coty on 23 April 2013, 11:40:11 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 18 April 2013, 01:54:16 pm
What's the bets "Michael" isn't disabled in any way, and gets off on this "I'm Michael with a speech impediment" act?

Just had a text from him asking how he reports an escort for swearing at him because he's disabled!  :FF   don't worry I'm not replying to him any more. He still texts daily!

Fck's sake! She's swearing at him because he's a TEXT PEST! Not because he's disabled! :FF

Methinks the only 'disability' he has is having a few missing marbles!! ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 24 April 2013, 12:58:24 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 24 April 2013, 12:50:42 am
Fck's sake! She's swearing at him because he's a TEXT PEST! Not because he's disabled! :FF
Methinks the only 'disability' he has is having a few missing marbles!! ::)

Exactly....I was going to reply and say that but best not to reply at all to him....hopefully he'll give up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 24 April 2013, 08:22:45 am
He said he was going to report me to "the Escort" when I said I knew he was a pest.

Which one?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CaraMxx on 24 April 2013, 11:38:39 am
Quote
[snip...]


Hope wer all invited to the wedding ;)!






[quote removed]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 24 April 2013, 12:13:19 pm
Quote from: amy on 19 April 2013, 11:42:07 pm
Quote from: Strawberry on 19 April 2013, 10:55:07 pm

Classic Nigerian 918 scam.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nigerian_scam

Yes, can we not post about (and quote) these here, please? There's already a thread about them in Q&A somewhere (and even that's not strictly on topic - it remains in case anybody thinks these emails are genuine).

I might also add that if anybody had thought this was a real enquiry, the name should have been removed.

I've removed another copy from the post above but there are still others - once again, can we please stop quoting and posting this? Any more reference to it will be removed, not least because the ALL CAPS are making my eyes bleed.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Reid And Alex on 24 April 2013, 08:41:43 pm
Just had this "interesting" exchange by text. Bold his, not bold ours (separate lines are a new text):

R U into scat?
No
Your add says u r ??
Is that he is?x
Not sure where you read that, sorry. We don't do scat.
When?
When what?
When can we?
Is james bi?
Talk to me
I will need to get out before she gets in?
Sorry, not really following you there? If you'd like to make a booking please let us know what date and time you'd like to book, how long you'd like to meet for and what you'd like to do at the booking (not scat) and we can get back to you. Our availability is: [availability].
Wud like scat do they do that?
Im a dirty fucker will do anything they want what do they like?
Will do or fuck anything?
What r they into?
Talk to me
U wont put me off with anything
How dirty do they want to get?x
Dont talk then
Do u like animals?
??
What can we do tomorrow afternoon?

Aaaand blocked.
We reply quite quickly as our phone is linked to the computer so we can type replies, but his multiple messages were sent in the space of 1-2 minutes apart, if that. Way to be a creepy ass dude!





Number removed - this is not a warning thread.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: rubyd on 25 April 2013, 02:21:44 pm
Had a guy try to book me last night, when I said I don't do same-day bookings he asked to do a booking today instead.
As I don't drive I said I would only be able to do a 2pm booking as that is the only time my driver is available. He tried convincing me to let him pick me up in his car so we could do an earlier booking and when I refused he said 2pm was fine.
We discussed what would happen but he completely ignored all requests for a name, phone number or full postcode and then at around 12:30 tried getting me to change the time to 8pm. When I reiterated that my driver was not available, he once again offered to pick me up (err no thanks!) then asked if I had left yet.
Told him I was ready and needed a confirmation that 2pm was still ok as well as a number and postcode before I left, could see that he read the email and didn't respond. Sent him another email, no response again.

Guess this is a learning experience for me to not bother showering without a proper confirmation and details beforehand!

Not sure if usernames are allowed on here but his AW username is LoverAA (if this is not allowed could a mod please let me know so I can edit accordingly)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarah sweeties on 25 April 2013, 05:16:28 pm
Quote from: Coty on 23 April 2013, 11:17:28 pm
Quote from: Redhead on 23 April 2013, 06:31:28 pm
Answerphone message last week:

'I saw your gorgeous self on AW, please get back, yeah? I'd love to meet you today, you're gorgeous, oh god, yeah, come back darling.'

I did speak to him, and he didn't sound anywhere near as bad as he managed to make himself sound in the message. Told him to call me within 10 mins if he wanted a same day appointment, heard no more from him.

Until he sent a lovely text while I was away over the weekend:

Hi sorry got nervous the other day I am in *town* all day and would still like a meet if poss. *Name* xx you are welcome to my full details just a genuine middle aged lonely guy

And 10 mins later:

Hi darlin can you let me know please x

And today, a direct email fom someone else:

Hello, Happy new year I really hope i can make you my woman but it really depends on you, i want to make you happy no matter what. I am very relationship oriented and I believe life is too short to waste or play games. When I am in a relationship I am committed, honest, and loyal. I think that falling in love is always a good thing but it requires lot of work from both sides. There is always something to learn from being with someone, and happy times and memories should be cherished. Friendship comes first for me. I feel like you should treat somebody with respect and like they are a person not a piece of meat or whatever. I am the type of person who wants somebody to feel wanted not just as a trophy. I am a very affectionate person and I love to cuddle, I like to show somebody how I feel not just telling them. I love to be close to somebody whether it is in the bed on the couch or wherever. I guess my dreams would is to be happy and have a family that is my goals in life.
 
I was married for 30yrs but Death took her away from me, my late wife was an American and we both lived happily. I was given one of the best education I attended a high school owned by British priest in Stockholm, Sweden and later moved to the KTH Royal Institute of Technology University Stockholm ,Sweden where I had my  bachelors degree in Civil Engineering, what kind of relationship do you really wish to have? What's your religion? Favorite color? Date of birth? I am a catholic, Sky blue is my favorite color, I was born November 30 1961, i am looking for a long term relationship, what are favorite activities? Your favorite music? Your favorite cuisines?  What do you do for fun? Do you smoke and drink alcohol? i do drink socially and i don't smoke. My dad and mom are from Stockholm in Sweden. I want someone caring, honest and lovely to share life with me. I like playing basketball, biking, cooking, reading, novel and dancing. I need a very serious relationship. I want to know your mind. I believe honesty, faithfulness and open minded are the foundation for a good relationship. I want you to read my message carefully and answer all my questions.
 
Feel free to ask anything you want to know about me. I am a simple and very open minded man. Don't be scared that i will get upset if you ask any question. I'm not a materialistic individual or vain. I respect this world as I know it. I understand that one’s possessions do not determine the individual. So I don't seek someone because they have neither do I avoid someone because they don't have. I'm just seeking someone who believes in unity, co-operation, truth, love, dedication, partnership, trust. Someone who knows love and is able to recognize it when it’s present. It is great to be alive, so many things life offers to experience and be a part of. I want to find a simple woman that can smile about life. I want to find someone to build an everlasting friendship with, one we'll both value until our end. So if you think smiling and living life too. I am very outgoing and spontaneous like to have fun and travel a lot. I like to cook but also like fine dining. The rest you will have to ask maybe its you! Well i guess i can know more about you now? I am anxiously waiting for your message. And a picture of you take very good care of yourself and have a nice day

I've had that several times in the past. It's a typical scam mail. :-(
Im starting to think that aw shouid change there name to ad (adultdating)lol These men are really are deluded !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 25 April 2013, 08:12:55 pm
How about this one!

*************

Well hey Clare, how you doing? How you finding AW, enjoying it and having fun? My ex was on here a while back and loved it!

Have a look at my profile and pic and see what you think of me? Unlike most people - I've got a completed profile :-).

I run my own adult website (I don't do anything sexual myself! People upload their own videos and pics etc). Unlike most guys, I'm not looking for sex of ANY kind. I actually don't like casual sex at all and have never booked an escort in my life. I much prefer being in a long term loving relationship with someone I WANT to be with. I would like to be with someone who is also in the industry, not having to lie about what you do (cause I'm not a liar) or be judged by ignorant, prudish people who don't understand. Must be the same for you eh?

I am looking for a loving long term relationship with a girl in the industry.

I'm not like most guys, who are controlling and possessive and want to take away your independence, check up on you all the time and tell you what you can and can't do. I'm easy going, fun, bubbly and happy go lucky. I don't do stress, arguments or agro, life's for having a good time right!? I am a gentleman.

It would be lovely to get to know you. Tell me about yourself, are you really educated?  What guys do you go for (personality wise) and how you finding this site?

Do you think you're single because you're worried about guys getting to close and then taking away your independence? Or afraid they will cheat and hurt you? I'm just curious? I'm nothing like any of that by the way. 

**************

I said thanks for taking the time to write but not interested, he sent back an email asking if I was not interested in getting to know him better, I said no so he called me a bitch, now what was that he was saying about being a gentleman.  I get an email from him at least once a week asking me out.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarah sweeties on 25 April 2013, 09:57:10 pm
Just had a call from a client your prices are to much. I quote they are not there reasonable for the services I offer. Him you know the state of the Europe and uk is in you need to drop your prices !
Me Whats politics got to do with my price I offer all inclusive services I charge whats right and for my services.
Him never mind that I will book you for 1 hr ?60 pd the hr that's for all services im genuine and pay what I say it gives you money in your pocket so don't moan and I make you cum like never before!
Me Really well what im gonna say to you is goodnight and good luck mate ! Then I just hang up !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 25 April 2013, 09:57:28 pm
Dear Lord. This job has made me really really dislike men.
Sooooo many toss pots about.

Funny how those who say they're a gentleman and talk all sweet are the ones who come out with the worst defamatory words as soon as they don't get what they want!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nobody Interesting on 26 April 2013, 02:21:15 am
Hi,

Had him when I was new, utter twat, you seen his profile with picture? lol. Cut and pastes the same to all. I blocked him as he got shitty when I did not reply lol

x

Quote from: ClaireJayne on 25 April 2013, 08:12:55 pm
How about this one!

*************

Well hey Clare, how you doing? How you finding AW, enjoying it and having fun? My ex was on here a while back and loved it!

Have a look at my profile and pic and see what you think of me? Unlike most people - I've got a completed profile :-).

I run my own adult website (I don't do anything sexual myself! People upload their own videos and pics etc). Unlike most guys, I'm not looking for sex of ANY kind. I actually don't like casual sex at all and have never booked an escort in my life. I much prefer being in a long term loving relationship with someone I WANT to be with. I would like to be with someone who is also in the industry, not having to lie about what you do (cause I'm not a liar) or be judged by ignorant, prudish people who don't understand. Must be the same for you eh?

I am looking for a loving long term relationship with a girl in the industry.

I'm not like most guys, who are controlling and possessive and want to take away your independence, check up on you all the time and tell you what you can and can't do. I'm easy going, fun, bubbly and happy go lucky. I don't do stress, arguments or agro, life's for having a good time right!? I am a gentleman.

It would be lovely to get to know you. Tell me about yourself, are you really educated?  What guys do you go for (personality wise) and how you finding this site?

Do you think you're single because you're worried about guys getting to close and then taking away your independence? Or afraid they will cheat and hurt you? I'm just curious? I'm nothing like any of that by the way. 

**************

I said thanks for taking the time to write but not interested, he sent back an email asking if I was not interested in getting to know him better, I said no so he called me a bitch, now what was that he was saying about being a gentleman.  I get an email from him at least once a week asking me out.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 26 April 2013, 02:24:07 am
Yeah, I've had that one plenty over the years and I've been round the block more times than the 73 bus ;D. God, what a twat.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 26 April 2013, 01:53:45 pm
Quote from: ClaireJayne on 25 April 2013, 08:12:55 pm
How about this one!

*************

Well hey Clare, how you doing? How you finding AW, enjoying it and having fun? My ex was on here a while back and loved it!

Have a look at my profile and pic and see what you think of me? Unlike most people - I've got a completed profile :-).

I run my own adult website (I don't do anything sexual myself! People upload their own videos and pics etc). Unlike most guys, I'm not looking for sex of ANY kind. I actually don't like casual sex at all and have never booked an escort in my life. I much prefer being in a long term loving relationship with someone I WANT to be with. I would like to be with someone who is also in the industry, not having to lie about what you do (cause I'm not a liar) or be judged by ignorant, prudish people who don't understand. Must be the same for you eh?

I am looking for a loving long term relationship with a girl in the industry.

I'm not like most guys, who are controlling and possessive and want to take away your independence, check up on you all the time and tell you what you can and can't do. I'm easy going, fun, bubbly and happy go lucky. I don't do stress, arguments or agro, life's for having a good time right!? I am a gentleman.

It would be lovely to get to know you. Tell me about yourself, are you really educated?   What guys do you go for (personality wise) and how you finding this site?

Do you think you're single because you're worried about guys getting to close and then taking away your independence? Or afraid they will cheat and hurt you? I'm just curious? I'm nothing like any of that by the way. 

**************

I said thanks for taking the time to write but not interested, he sent back an email asking if I was not interested in getting to know him better, I said no so he called me a bitch, now what was that he was saying about being a gentleman.  I get an email from him at least once a week asking me out.


His first little gem said so much about him. The second they just can't help themselves can they gobshite! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 26 April 2013, 05:10:10 pm
Oh my goodness...

He books then rings again shortly after. Then asked me if I want to go out clubbing tonight. My answer was no will be staying in doing this. He hangs up the phone right away. How rude some men are, it makes you think just how disturbed they must be.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shaiya on 27 April 2013, 03:47:20 am
Just received this one...at 03:36 in the morning! Maybe it's a sign I should sort my sleeping pattern out.

Message -
Hey, you game to come over to ***** road for an hour?
Thanks,
Niall x

My reply -
At nearly 4am in the morning? Sure I'll just get my heels on and be right over, get the bed warmed up for me hunny xx


Edit: Possibly identifying information removed.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nobody Interesting on 28 April 2013, 02:12:26 am
Hey baby girl,
I love to see you in your primary school uniform,
As my little girl you would stay after school and let me teach you how a little girl should respect her elders and learn to please her daddy

Dean xx


Sick f**cker  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 28 April 2013, 02:28:01 am
 :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 28 April 2013, 01:13:46 pm
Freak!  What on earth makes them think up things like that? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 02 May 2013, 03:01:40 pm
text @ 14:50 ... how far is it to walk to you ???
 listed as no hope and put on block why bother doing anything else  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 02 May 2013, 03:38:27 pm
Ruth, are you near this city, ummm I'm well over a one hour's drive from there. Ok what's your waist size I like big girls?

I'm not your lady(I was polite enough to give my measurement and stipulate my figure 'type' before saying this).

Not quite sure how that call came about, but it's made me smile ::) ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 02 May 2013, 03:39:21 pm
Quote from: O :) on 02 May 2013, 03:01:40 pm
text @ 14:50 ... how far is it to walk to you ???

Genius ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 02 May 2013, 04:12:15 pm
LMFAO!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 02 May 2013, 04:20:04 pm
Two  :FF today ......the 'is it discreet question' and 'why don't you have feedback' ummmm because my page tells you very clearly what I think about feedback in fact I have a Lack of feedback tab, geez, you spell it out.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Coty on 03 May 2013, 04:17:45 pm
Just had a text which says,
I'm Christian and wont see you.

I replied and said...I'm Muslim and won't see you either! lmao

He said he meant, His name is Christian and he wants to see me!

Ooops!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nobody Interesting on 03 May 2013, 04:25:25 pm
Classic!  ;D

I had a rant at someone last week, they kindly explained that I had misinterpreted and carried on as if though nothing had happened. Bless them!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CaraMxx on 04 May 2013, 11:08:48 am
Quote from: Coty on 03 May 2013, 04:17:45 pm
Just had a text which says,
I'm Christian and wont see you.

I replied and said...I'm Muslim and won't see you either! lmao

He said he meant, His name is Christian and he wants to see me!

Ooops!

 :D:D:D
Hahahaha im actually crying! Thats hilarious!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 05 May 2013, 08:03:43 pm
Someone just text asking if there was CCTV on my street, so I responded with yes, and also throughout my house lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 05 May 2013, 11:52:11 pm
Quote from: ClaireJayne on 05 May 2013, 08:03:43 pm
Someone just text asking if there was CCTV on my street, so I responded with yes, and also throughout my house lol

Spooky like they're planning to rob when I get asked similar questions about in my house.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarah sweeties on 07 May 2013, 10:30:54 pm
Thats why i hate texts it gets mix up when booking !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 08 May 2013, 06:57:22 pm
Quote from: cassie on 26 August 2009, 11:21:59 pm
I have had a number of weird texts, but this one is still top of the list for me and cracks me up everytime I think of it:

"I'm 16 and in desperate need of a free blowjob."

 :D Isn't everyone who is 16. This is sooooo funny x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 08 May 2013, 07:02:21 pm
I frequently get texts

"Are you free babe" which I routinely reply to with "no huni, ?120 per hour". Some of them really don't get it!

I think someone should write an etiquette quide for punters lol. Love this thread, sooooo many laughs guys.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 08 May 2013, 07:24:40 pm
Just had a drunk guy call up, He started singing and saying  " oh ive seen you before " weird  I don't even know who he is lol !
as quiet as it has been today had to turn this one down
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 08 May 2013, 08:06:34 pm
Quote from: MinxyMarianne on 08 May 2013, 07:02:21 pm
I frequently get texts

"Are you free babe" which I routinely reply to with "no huni, ?120 per hour". Some of them really don't get it!

I think someone should write an etiquette quide for punters lol. Love this thread, sooooo many laughs guys.

Ha ha yes I use a variation of this, mine is "Eh no you have to pay".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Melanie on 10 May 2013, 02:19:35 pm
Not exactly a booking request this one, but I want to share it here anyway.

I received an email from a young guy who saw me once a few weeks ago. It was a nice hour, not very memorable. He wrote: since I am a nosey person I looked at the *** (the Dutch website my ad is on) and I noticed you upped your ad. I was wondering if you meet men for free, in other words, for just your own pleasure?

Eh.... needless to say what I answered  ;D
I also added that I have fun in my day job in the office as well and my manager has never tried not paying my salary for the month I had much fun in  :P.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RedLady1991 on 10 May 2013, 05:45:18 pm
Hello all, long time no speak!

Todays was a good one, "can you deepthroat me.and.make.yourself sick on my cock? How much extra would I need to pay you to eat your vomit?"  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 11 May 2013, 11:07:58 am
Quote from: RedLady1991 on 10 May 2013, 05:45:18 pm
Hello all, long time no speak!

Todays was a good one, "can you deepthroat me.and.make.yourself sick on my cock? How much extra would I need to pay you to eat your vomit?"  :-X
wonder what section of the mental health act he is on and where he is detained !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RedLady1991 on 13 May 2013, 03:55:43 pm
Quote from: Orchid on 11 May 2013, 11:07:58 am
Quote from: RedLady1991 on 10 May 2013, 05:45:18 pm
Hello all, long time no speak!

Todays was a good one, "can you deepthroat me.and.make.yourself sick on my cock? How much extra would I need to pay you to eat your vomit?"  :-X
wonder what section of the mental health act he is on and where he is detained !

Haha! I had only just gotten over a stomach virus so messaged him back that he was a week late for the vomiting!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 13 May 2013, 04:42:39 pm
Hello id like to book you Orchid for an hour do you take euros' that's all I have? !!!
me  =no I take English sterling only.
 what bus is it to your place ? :FF
 me =I'm sorry I'm not taking your booking sir .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 14 May 2013, 03:09:06 am


hey babe! if i book u how many fingers can i get inside ur pussy?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MaddieMoo on 14 May 2013, 07:06:25 pm
"hey gawjus r u tskin bookings today n do u see azn guys x " No and yes, but I do have a policy about only accepting booking from men who take the time to craft me something sensible!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 16 May 2013, 11:34:02 am
Hi is dat [insert my name]? why on earth would I want to see anyone that changes a simple four letter word to a three letter word and changes the first letter to a 'D' He's obviously lifted my phone number off my profile so who exactly does he think he is texting other than myself?  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 16 May 2013, 11:55:58 am
....the disappointing ending to what was generally speaking an ok email....

I would love the opportunity to serve you  ( I want to give my body to you because I know that you have the power to own it). Also could I possibly serve you for ...*?80 less than my rates*... - I hate to ask this but I have - please do not be offended it is just that times are tough.
 
I hope to hear from you and would dearly love to serve you.
 
Yours completely

.....

 >:( Erm well obviously not mine completely, or he would be prepared to pay the usual fee!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 16 May 2013, 12:20:40 pm
"Hey nice tits, do you bb?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 16 May 2013, 12:40:57 pm
I just had some tosspot call me, I answered the phone and he says 'Who is this' so I say, 'You should know, you called me'  'Do you do A levels' so i respond with, all that info is on the profile page, him 'but I don't know who this is or where I got your number from' ........ I hung up, wanker!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 16 May 2013, 02:38:32 pm
Quote from: ClaireJayne on 16 May 2013, 12:40:57 pm
I just had some tosspot call me, I answered the phone and he says 'Who is this' so I say, 'You should know, you called me'  'Do you do A levels' so i respond with, all that info is on the profile page, him 'but I don't know who this is or where I got your number from' ........ I hung up, wanker!
I seriously wonder what they are trying to gain from phone calls such as this? They really are the lowest most uneducated idiots ever!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nat2013 on 17 May 2013, 09:04:07 pm
Sorry folks if this has been covered before.

Since being on AW I have had several emails suggesting 'complimentary massages' - I have yet again recieved one today (detailed below)-

Hello Nat,
I am contacting you because I would like to offer you a complimentary (free) full body massage as an introductory offer.  My webpage is [link removed].  Please see my profile and feedback for details of my offering and for an idea of what you can expect.  The massage treatment (a total pamper) is perfect as a short and relaxing stress relieving break.

The introductory meeting would be for you to experience my massage and then decide whether you wish to book for further massage treatments (like try before you buy).  There is no obligation to continue after the initial treatment (you can have a one-off treatment, free of cost, if you should choose), though if you do decide to have further treatments, then I will offer special rates as I will value you as my client. 

Obviously, I have removed contact details for the poster. Has anyone had similar posts? Why, as an escort am I being contacted by a masseur? (cant spell-sorry!!). The poster may be 100% genuine (to which I apologise!) but I cant help my skeptical head  ???
XX
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 17 May 2013, 09:17:14 pm
Quote from: nat2013 on 17 May 2013, 09:04:07 pm
Sorry folks if this has been covered before.

Since being on AW I have had several emails suggesting 'complimentary massages' - I have yet again recieved one today (detailed below)-

Hello Nat,
I am contacting you because I would like to offer you a complimentary (free) full body massage as an introductory offer.  My webpage is [link removed].  Please see my profile and feedback for details of my offering and for an idea of what you can expect.  The massage treatment (a total pamper) is perfect as a short and relaxing stress relieving break.

The introductory meeting would be for you to experience my massage and then decide whether you wish to book for further massage treatments (like try before you buy).  There is no obligation to continue after the initial treatment (you can have a one-off treatment, free of cost, if you should choose), though if you do decide to have further treatments, then I will offer special rates as I will value you as my client. 

Obviously, I have removed contact details for the poster. Has anyone had similar posts? Why, as an escort am I being contacted by a masseur? (cant spell-sorry!!). The poster may be 100% genuine (to which I apologise!) but I cant help my skeptical head  ???
XX

Because they think there's a desire for their services, that we are desperate for attention from males, and most probably to get a 'freebie' thinking they are doing you a favour.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nat2013 on 17 May 2013, 09:36:52 pm
One has to wonder why any masseur would target an escort audience-and offer a freeby-think I might have answered my own question lol! Was curious if anyone had received a similar mail.X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 17 May 2013, 09:49:27 pm
Quote from: nat2013 on 17 May 2013, 09:36:52 pm
One has to wonder why any masseur would target an escort audience-and offer a freeby-think I might have answered my own question lol! Was curious if anyone had received a similar mail.X

Yes, a few of us on this thread have.

Generally, when you look at their own profile, they have cock pics. What they're hoping for is female attention, a freebie (because they're SOOO good at massage!), or actually to start a sexy business servicing ladies and the freebie will be so amazing that you will come back and pay them next time.


Had one the other day, who went "blah blah blah" about offering a freebie, he has such a big cock, can guarantee satisfaction etc, and is there a market.
I replied "yes there's a market for gay men"
he replied "haha, thanks but I want to see women only"
AND THEN...and this got me LMAO and hitting delete at the same time...THEN he replied:
"do you have any tips on how to please girls in bed?"

!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sexy selina on 18 May 2013, 12:39:49 pm
I've had a few like that.The nerve of it thinking WE will pay THEM! since when did any woman need to pay for sex?I wonder if these "Straight male escorts" ever get any work? Maybe the odd woman wanting a threesome with her partner and not wanting to use someone she knows or something?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EveDaniels on 18 May 2013, 04:27:39 pm
Hi all,

I just got a lovely message from a guy with the above user on AW saying we all look the same, do the same and need to charge less etc xxxx. Doesn't seem like he has much love to go round so I'd say avoid.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 19 May 2013, 12:11:57 pm
Quote from: EveDaniels on 18 May 2013, 04:27:39 pm
Hi all,

I just got a lovely message from a guy with the above user on AW saying we all look the same, do the same and need to charge less etc xxxx. Doesn't seem like he has much love to go round so I'd say avoid.
He must be physically exhausted !!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Scarlet_Rose on 19 May 2013, 04:32:11 pm
 :FF

Gave name as JAMES
Says from SWINDON

Offers Kisses Cuddles and Chocolates
Offers Hotel Room
Says plays GOLF
Says is DIVORCED
Agrees INSTANTLY to ANY FEE (lol!)

Asks for PICs
Asks for REAL NAME
Asks for CHAT

When REFUSED  .... CANCELLED

(I called both numbers after ...both switched off...both TESCO mobile)



Numbers removed and post merged here - please don't post about silly phone calls in the Warnings section.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 20 May 2013, 01:17:17 am
Timewasters and idiots galore this week , by phone and AW mail.

1) - Well heya, how you doing? Having a good week? I hope you don't mind the message. I really liked your profile and had to drop you a line.

I'm also in the adult industry (run my own adult website). Unlike most guys, I'm not looking for ANYTHING sexual on here. I'm looking for a decent women for a loving, meaningful relationship, who, like me, is in the adult industry. It's so much better to date someone like minded, so there are no secrets, open and honesty from the start and not be judged for what you like or do.

I wouldn't have a problem with you camming or escorting, I think it's great and a bonus for me, cause I love my partner having other guys sexually and I encourage it. I'm not jealous in the slightest, nor am I controlling, clingy or possessive. I believe everyone should have their own space and independence too in a relationship.

I got pics on my profile here, have a look and see what you think. Also more info about me :-).

I'd love to get to know you better, can't hurt can it.

Hope to speak soon,
Scott x


( Im sure I saw this idiot before in this thread , or if not something very similar)




2)  - I am interested in the following session and wondered if you would like to dominate me.

On arrival you lead me to a room containing all your high heel shoes and boots. You force me to the floor and put a collar/chain round my neck and force me to clean every pair with wet wipes. Once clean you handcuff my hands behind me and then sit above me.

Wearing each pair in turn you force the toe and heel part of each pair in and out of my mouth, repeatedly torturing me by jabbing/kicking my balls and face with the toe and top part of the shoe/boot..

Teasing my cock with your sexy heels you get me erect. Once erect enough you lead me to a table/desk, lie back and using the collar and chair pull me towards you, guiding my cock inside and forcing me to fuck you. Refusing to let me stop until you are satisfied. If I cum too early or I fail to perform for you, you force me back to the floor for more kicking and torturing. Only stopping when I am erect enough for you to use again and repeating the scenario for the duration of session.

Refusing to let me leave until the allotted time has passed and using me for any other use for your pleasure. If at any time I refuse to do as I am told you torture me with more kicking, jabbing and forced shoe/boot worship.

How many pairs of closed toe high heel shoes and boots do you have for a session and how best to book. 

(This messer no2 - he forgets that he's been sending me this copy n paste drivel for FOUR YEARS !!! At first i used to answer them saying id do the sesh ect , guess what he ignores your reply ....thenhe waits 6mnths then starts it all up again , probably hoping youve forgot him by then. Idiot. )


3) - Hi

Myself and my Partner S**** would love to try a threesome or at least have a taster session. Would you allow us to half and hour with at ?40 just to see if this is something we would like to explore further next time.

Thanks

 

( sorry mate  , for the sake of ?10 youve annoyed me before we have even met - pass.... I wouldnt mind but the half hour is only ?50 for 2 of them anyway as i dotn charge extra for MF couples)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 20 May 2013, 10:30:17 am
Quote from: KinkyVixen on 20 May 2013, 01:17:17 am
Timewasters and idiots galore this week , by phone and AW mail.

1) - Well heya, how you doing? Having a good week? I hope you don't mind the message. I really liked your profile and had to drop you a line.

I'm also in the adult industry (run my own adult website). Unlike most guys, I'm not looking for ANYTHING sexual on here. I'm looking for a decent women for a loving, meaningful relationship, who, like me, is in the adult industry. It's so much better to date someone like minded, so there are no secrets, open and honesty from the start and not be judged for what you like or do.

I wouldn't have a problem with you camming or escorting, I think it's great and a bonus for me, cause I love my partner having other guys sexually and I encourage it. I'm not jealous in the slightest, nor am I controlling, clingy or possessive. I believe everyone should have their own space and independence too in a relationship.

I got pics on my profile here, have a look and see what you think. Also more info about me :-).

I'd love to get to know you better, can't hurt can it.

Hope to speak soon,
Scott x


( Im sure I saw this idiot before in this thread , or if not something very similar)




2)  - I am interested in the following session and wondered if you would like to dominate me.

On arrival you lead me to a room containing all your high heel shoes and boots. You force me to the floor and put a collar/chain round my neck and force me to clean every pair with wet wipes. Once clean you handcuff my hands behind me and then sit above me.

Wearing each pair in turn you force the toe and heel part of each pair in and out of my mouth, repeatedly torturing me by jabbing/kicking my balls and face with the toe and top part of the shoe/boot..

Teasing my cock with your sexy heels you get me erect. Once erect enough you lead me to a table/desk, lie back and using the collar and chair pull me towards you, guiding my cock inside and forcing me to fuck you. Refusing to let me stop until you are satisfied. If I cum too early or I fail to perform for you, you force me back to the floor for more kicking and torturing. Only stopping when I am erect enough for you to use again and repeating the scenario for the duration of session.

Refusing to let me leave until the allotted time has passed and using me for any other use for your pleasure. If at any time I refuse to do as I am told you torture me with more kicking, jabbing and forced shoe/boot worship.

How many pairs of closed toe high heel shoes and boots do you have for a session and how best to book. 

(This messer no2 - he forgets that he's been sending me this copy n paste drivel for FOUR YEARS !!! At first i used to answer them saying id do the sesh ect , guess what he ignores your reply ....thenhe waits 6mnths then starts it all up again , probably hoping youve forgot him by then. Idiot. )


3) - Hi

Myself and my Partner S**** would love to try a threesome or at least have a taster session. Would you allow us to half and hour with at ?40 just to see if this is something we would like to explore further next time.

Thanks

 

( sorry mate  , for the sake of ?10 youve annoyed me before we have even met - pass.... I wouldnt mind but the half hour is only ?50 for 2 of them anyway as i dotn charge extra for MF couples)
did he get no replies on match.com with that looking for ideal partner specification ha ha !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 20 May 2013, 05:52:49 pm
Oh my goodness some idiot on the phone just now asking for bare back, it made me giggle mind you. Then explained that when he does do it with escorts who offer it. Remember that he will be barebacking all those other men to with whatever sti's. He said that his never done bb with an escort before. Then asked me again as it just wasn't registering, so do you not do bareback no. I answered politely no sorry.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 22 May 2013, 07:48:41 pm
"I'm a single professional gent and I'm relatively new to this sort of thing and I was wandering if you would be interested in having an overnight bareback GFE with me. I would like to try bareback still being single as I've always been safe but I would like to experience it bareback safely with a younger lady...is this something you would be interested in...?

[name removed]"

Age given on profile as in his 40s, pretty sure he's had unprotected sex before.. Idiot  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 22 May 2013, 09:03:40 pm
I'm back to work today after a period of absence, even put myself as Available Today as well as the usual... oh what a delightful day of nothing! LOL! Got loads of other stuff done today so not complaining, and these kept me amused briefly:

Text this am: "Mandy. I'd love to see you. Are you available in about 20mins? Whereabouts in **** (at least 45 mins from me) are you?"

Me: "Wrong no!"

His reply: "Sorry. Wrong number. One of those days. Diana. I'm due in **** (still potentially a good half hour from me) in an hour or so. Can I arrange to meet you? What area of *** are you based in"

I really was tempted to reply saying I'd try Mandy again if I was you but resisted and ignored instead!

Then there was the message on AW asking for no sex, just kissing and touching whilst I wear silk and then he'd like to take poppers whilst I get my strap on out... Now let me think about it... Maybe tomorrow will be a better day... Yeah right! LOL!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 22 May 2013, 10:09:09 pm
Quote from: DianaMurphy on 22 May 2013, 09:03:40 pm
Then there was the message on AW asking for no sex, just kissing and touching whilst I wear silk and then he'd like to take poppers whilst I get my strap on out... Now let me think about it... Maybe tomorrow will be a better day... Yeah right! LOL!

Hahaha priceless ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 23 May 2013, 01:16:06 pm
Booking the other day, checks all carried out then 10 min before was due to arrive at theirs I recieved this brilliant text.

FYI My friend and his friend and gf will be in the living room. But we will just head straight to my bedroom ..if u see them just act like a friend. Simple.

Needless to say I cancelled and was on next bus home.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GirlyGirlx on 23 May 2013, 02:31:01 pm
I had a guy the other day place a random booking request through on AW (my pet hate) without any other communication what so ever at the back of 7 in the morning for and outcall (which I don't do) to a private house (which I'd never do) at 9am (a time I do not work and it was my day off) for 90 minutes for ?150 (when I am ?200 for a 90 minute incall)

I have a very detailed profile with all information crystal clear in plain English so it does get under my skin when people ignore it. Ignoring it is one thing but to put a booking request through that was all wrong, even making up his own price did make some steam come out my ears a little. All that aside this twat must have thought I was up at that time of the morning, looking ready as if I was going on a night out with my hair and make up done (basically if they want to see the girl in my pictures they cant expect me to roll out of bed looking like that) & all geared up ready to go to his house at 9am on my day off. When I start work it quite clearly says I start at 11am on the days I am working.

So this guy was either totally delusional or ignorant or both, I think both and I do wonder if anyone would entertain these people  ::)

xx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CaraMxx on 24 May 2013, 08:22:42 pm
Got this morning:

I have gone through your profile.. And im excited to meet you.. Would you like to give me some pleasure and relaxation?? Im inviting you for an outcall service to me and my friend's wife.. She is sexually disappointed with her husband( unfortunately he is my best friend) .. So she is addicted to my sex now.. She comes to me once or twice in a week to satisfy her needs.. She is quite new to this.. And she is a bit nervous as well.. Why cant you join us for an hour at my lonely house with her.. If you are interested give me a text back or mail back.. Ok..im .(Name) frm singapore by the way..075********



What a nice friend LOL  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CaraMxx on 24 May 2013, 08:24:40 pm
And his name is  Nay_FREEservice 

So was he giving ME a freebie :O
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sadie x on 24 May 2013, 08:45:34 pm
Quote from: GirlyGirlx on 23 May 2013, 02:31:01 pm
I had a guy the other day place a random booking request through on AW (my pet hate) without any other communication what so ever at the back of 7 in the morning for and outcall (which I don't do) to a private house (which I'd never do) at 9am (a time I do not work and it was my day off) for 90 minutes for ?150 (when I am ?200 for a 90 minute incall)

I have a very detailed profile with all information crystal clear in plain English so it does get under my skin when people ignore it. Ignoring it is one thing but to put a booking request through that was all wrong, even making up his own price did make some steam come out my ears a little. All that aside this twat must have thought I was up at that time of the morning, looking ready as if I was going on a night out with my hair and make up done (basically if they want to see the girl in my pictures they cant expect me to roll out of bed looking like that) & all geared up ready to go to his house at 9am on my day off. When I start work it quite clearly says I start at 11am on the days I am working.

So this guy was either totally delusional or ignorant or both, I think both and I do wonder if anyone would entertain these people  ::)

xx
every booking request I ever get, is there made up price and weird times, with no contact. I know how it irritates highly
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 25 May 2013, 07:59:27 am
That's what I got 2 days ago:

Email Content :
hi A,im looking for a really naughty hour of fun,it says you do kissing but then says no tongues so do you not kiss with tongues?also would you lie back and close your eyes and let me wank all over your face covering it with my cum then make me lick it off your face?x

These are texts that followed(exacly the way I received them):

Hi A are you available today?I send you an e mail on escort Scotland yesterday not sure If you replied or not it wax from S 30x
Are you ok with me wanking all over your face or do you like to do it? X
I was looking for you on adultwork to make a booking but can?t find you x
What time tonight then? X
Are you available for 7? Tried to call a couple times x
Can you please just let me know if you will be free tonight xx

When I text back that I won?t be free and requested not to send me more text I got this

Oh well negative feedback for you on escort Scotland
I have tried since yesterday to arrange an appointment with you and you said you were available tonight so tried to arrange a time with you now you say your not available was really looking forward to meeting you as well as you have great feedback x

I send replay stating that texts are not for booking,only from regular,and that I?m too tired after an overnight.I also asked to stop sending me more texts.In response I got:

Haha I tried calling you about 4 times
That?s not very nice when you text earlier saying you would
When I said he didn?t have a booking what was the case got another text:

Ok then I will but that?s not a nice way to treat guys who are paying and giving you a good living,I have 17 positive feedback on adultwork so I know I?m a nice guy
Ok a no problem if your not wanting a meet tonight,hope all goes well for you in the future I?m not arguing with you all I wanted was a nice naughty meet with you as you look georgeous x

This "nice guy" submitted a review,even though he didn't have a booking.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: firsttimer on 25 May 2013, 09:16:39 am
Ugggggh. 2 complete W***ERS this past 2 mornings.

Left my workphone on yesterday morning and got a call at 2am then a booking request for an outcal from someone with no feedback asking for 3 hours for ?100...?
As I'm suffering from insomnia just now I wrote to him saying I think he was a bit out with the rates, to which I got-
"Just answer your phone. I'm young and good lloking, half italian. we can work something out."

Yeah, like me blocking you and turning off my phone.

Then this morning, call on my private number (used to be my workphone) asking to chat. This was 8am. Very vocal about his member, my anatomy etc in a few texts.
I asked him to call back at 1pm. "We can just book it now" was the text back. Again, I said 1 or nothing.
"Don't you want a client today?" Emh, EXCUUUUSE ME? "I actually am almost fully booked for today so one more is probably too much anyway".
"Oh so you're a timewaster? You could have told me at the start. I bet you don't even like your job. I'd have known that you don't enjoy it so I'm glad I can't see you."
I admit, I got angry.
"Well I asked you to call at 1. At this time I'm cooking breakfast for my family, I hardly want to chat about sex at this time!"
Grrrrrr!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JuicyLucy on 25 May 2013, 08:07:24 pm
I don't know why but TW's really bug me! I should just laugh it off but find it so hard to sometimes. Reading this thread makes me feel a lot better girls :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 25 May 2013, 08:16:06 pm
Some toss pot yesterday asked for a full body photo and I quote 'I want to see the meat I am paying for' ok, I say so asked for his email address, did some googling and sent him a photo of butchers shop window asking which piece of meat he was interested in.......wanker.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: x-Veronica-x on 25 May 2013, 08:38:13 pm
Quote from: ClaireJayne on 25 May 2013, 08:16:06 pm
Some toss pot yesterday asked for a full body photo and I quote 'I want to see the meat I am paying for' ok, I say so asked for his email address, did some googling and sent him a photo of butchers shop window asking which piece of meat he was interested in.......wanker.

Good idea can't stand men like that
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: erotica on 25 May 2013, 10:15:32 pm
Quote from: ClaireJayne on 25 May 2013, 08:16:06 pm
Some toss pot yesterday asked for a full body photo and I quote 'I want to see the meat I am paying for' ok, I say so asked for his email address, did some googling and sent him a photo of butchers shop window asking which piece of meat he was interested in.......wanker.

Well done!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nobody Interesting on 25 May 2013, 10:18:51 pm
Quote from: ClaireJayne on 25 May 2013, 08:16:06 pm
Some toss pot yesterday asked for a full body photo and I quote 'I want to see the meat I am paying for' ok, I say so asked for his email address, did some googling and sent him a photo of butchers shop window asking which piece of meat he was interested in.......wanker.

Classic  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MaddieMoo on 26 May 2013, 11:29:53 am
I'm off uni to revise since a couple of weeks ago and was up til 2.30am 2 nights ago. I finally switched the laptop off and crawled into bed, struggled to sleep, finally got to sleep. Then.. Phone rings at 3.45am and I answer it thinking it was one of my regs that had booked me in for yesterday wanting to cancel because something had just happened with them (because who the fook else calls my work phone at that hour?!) Led to a very terse conversation with someone trying to arrange a booking, in which I had to say "UMMM How about you call me when the sun is up?" "Oh what time then?" "How about when I'm fecking awake? Would you call your solicitor or plumber at this hour?" Needless to say I didn't get a booking out of that tosspot.

Note: Never get in the way of my sleep!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nat2013 on 26 May 2013, 01:48:20 pm
When you switch your lap-top off-switch your phone off  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MaddieMoo on 26 May 2013, 06:20:03 pm
That is so true Nat! I had to leave it on cos my normal phone is broken and so I needed my work phone for an alarm, which doesn't work on my 5 quid phone if you turn the phone off! But honestly, that time of the morning! I was ripping! haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissPretty on 27 May 2013, 04:18:48 pm
This guy is so time wasting im getting msg so i block my friend also is starting to piss me off everyday same txt had to block him..
Hi ! I'm Andy ! Nice and very clean scandinavian man . Can I see you today ? Can you accept please ?20 just to let me lick your pussy or your arse hole with my tongue . No sex . Just to give you good lick . Please . Trust me , would be fun 4 you . Thank you !
 Pure spamm
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 27 May 2013, 10:29:48 pm
Quote from: MissPretty on 27 May 2013, 04:18:48 pm
This guy is so time wasting im getting msg so i block my friend also is starting to piss me off everyday same txt had to block him..
Hi ! I'm Andy ! Nice and very clean scandinavian man . Can I see you today ? Can you accept please ?20 just to let me lick your pussy or your arse hole with my tongue . No sex . Just to give you good lick . Please . Trust me , would be fun 4 you . Thank you !
 Pure spamm
Am always suspicious of people who say trust me !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 27 May 2013, 11:06:39 pm
How much to suck my knob?

Hmmmm.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 27 May 2013, 11:09:56 pm
Late one evening

Ello luv you an escort can I see you now?

Too short notice sorry

Ow much is it?
Wat do I get?
No a mate gave me yer number?
Are you sure cannot see me now?

All barked at me.

No I really don't  fancy it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Londonergirl on 28 May 2013, 12:12:36 am
Stupid: what area u in
I : I am in x
Stupid: are u the brasilian lady   (I am European)
Stupid: how much 4 half hour
I : its xx
Stupid: Oh that good price what about 20pound for 15 min

Yep I love the idea! Blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 28 May 2013, 05:36:34 am
*745182770* mobile  how not to call or attempt to book an escort !!! calls from from 03.48 to 05 every 10 mins is now on call block and has been informed by text glad my phone was on silent  :FF 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: anushka on 28 May 2013, 04:11:13 pm
Hi,

I received an email via adultwork a few weeks ago with the enquiry about possible 4 hours booking with the dinner and drinks in Swindon. He said he would like me to dress up "revealing or see-through with no underwear" and asked if I could send some pictures in the clothing that I would wear. We exchanged a few emails and the he texted and called me so we spoke on the phone. I had some pictures emailed to him and he said they look very nice and sexy etc. I didn't see it as a big deal because the pictures weren't anything special, no face seen or anything just the once that I would put on the public gallery on my profile.
Funny enough after the last text saying how sexy I look on the pics he disappeared. After some time i texted him quite a sarcastic text saying that if he wanted my pics he only had to ask nicely and i would've send them without him having to make up all the story about a loooooong booking. He texted me back, saying "yes, please email me the pics and my email address is ......" so my guess is he didn't even know who i was, he must've sent quite a few emails.
Anyway, He's got 32 positive feedbacks on his aw profile which put me at ease and I sent the pics to him. His aw name is spurs01. I'm not sure whether it was his intended scenario or just the circumstances but I reckon if that was the latter he would have replied and explained the situation. So, watch out if you'll get a similar request - you may end up with nothing just as well as with the 4 hours booking.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Orchid on 28 May 2013, 04:26:28 pm
How irritating, I had one  call up and ask for a 3 hour booking and wanted to discuss in length what id wear , I  didn't send images he began irritating me asking for discount and that each time he called (4 times) he said he  was  booking for definite. I then said I won't be discussing anything else with you about me until you arrive for the booking you claim you're making. Funny how he never called again.   
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 04 June 2013, 03:00:31 pm
Just had this gem on AW:

Hi sexy,
I just saw your profile you look so sexy and hot. This is my first time looking for escort, Im a virgin with escorts, I am a bit nervous btw. I was wondering if maybe is possible to have some fun first by cam (skype maybe) and If so, how can we make it?? how much will be?? I like you so much bb, horny already for you. And please understand that this could be my first time, hope you dont mind I am not from the UK.
If we meet for real I will like to have normal sex, nothing weird.
Kiss for you.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 06 June 2013, 09:45:08 pm
Baa ha ha! check this out

Hi there, I'm currently studying for a degree in Photography, I am interested in compiling a portfolio of naked women, from very tasteful photos to all the naughty stuff.
If you are interested in having a free photoshoot with me then get in touch, You can decide which photos that I can keep, and of course you can keep them for your AW profile.
I'm not selling anything here but I just thought it would be a great way to find models # and I may even be able to help your work on here too.
Anyway thanks for taking the time to read this, let me know if this sounds like something that you would be interested in.
Regards, Dan  (aka camtime on AW).

LMFAO as I am a photographer.......... ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarah sweeties on 07 June 2013, 01:53:18 pm
Quote from: anushka on 28 May 2013, 04:11:13 pm
Hi,

I received an email via adultwork a few weeks ago with the enquiry about possible 4 hours booking with the dinner and drinks in Swindon. He said he would like me to dress up "revealing or see-through with no underwear" and asked if I could send some pictures in the clothing that I would wear. We exchanged a few emails and the he texted and called me so we spoke on the phone. I had some pictures emailed to him and he said they look very nice and sexy etc. I didn't see it as a big deal because the pictures weren't anything special, no face seen or anything just the once that I would put on the public gallery on my profile.
Funny enough after the last text saying how sexy I look on the pics he disappeared. After some time i texted him quite a sarcastic text saying that if he wanted my pics he only had to ask nicely and i would've send them without him having to make up all the story about a loooooong booking. He texted me back, saying "yes, please email me the pics and my email address is ......" so my guess is he didn't even know who i was, he must've sent quite a few emails.
Anyway, He's got 32 positive feedbacks on his aw profile which put me at ease and I sent the pics to him. His aw name is spurs01. I'm not sure whether it was his intended scenario or just the circumstances but I reckon if that was the latter he would have replied and explained the situation. So, watch out if you'll get a similar request - you may end up with nothing just as well as with the 4 hours booking.
I got some emails of him to asking what outfit I got can you send me pics etc I never sent him any my answer was I got plenty of pics in my gallery in nice dresses. To me it looked suspisous. I now put on my profile for any private filming and pictures there is a charge as its my time they are taking up. And any promises they make of a 4 hr booking turns out not to be the way ive done it before and never again cos what I got his after is your not for me I can't get time off work will arrange for acouple months time (You never hear from em again) !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 08 June 2013, 02:10:57 pm
This is either 1) doing the rounds, or 2) someone who can't (be bothered to) read.


Hay when u back in london


Seeing as I live and work IN LONDON and my profile shows I am IN LONDON, I have no idea why he thinks I'm not IN LONDON.

 >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 08 June 2013, 11:48:43 pm
Quote from: CaraMxx on 24 May 2013, 08:22:42 pm
Got this morning:

I have gone through your profile.. And im excited to meet you.. Would you like to give me some pleasure and relaxation?? Im inviting you for an outcall service to me and my friend's wife.. She is sexually disappointed with her husband( unfortunately he is my best friend) .. So she is addicted to my sex now.. She comes to me once or twice in a week to satisfy her needs.. She is quite new to this.. And she is a bit nervous as well.. Why cant you join us for an hour at my lonely house with her.. If you are interested give me a text back or mail back.. Ok..im .(Name) frm singapore by the way..075********



What a nice friend LOL  :-\


Why do the assholes always say MY SEX  and not just addicted to me, or  or just addicted to  plain old sex 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 10 June 2013, 09:24:41 pm
Oh my goodness after a relaxing time break without my phone switched on over the weekend. I got this phone call who gave me the red warning straight away. After he asked for what is the cheapest can do bla bla. Then wanted to book full price. He then wanted 15 minutes the ones that are done rarely as told him prioritize longer bookings. So then told him that it's way to late for quickies at 9pm. He replied with his very disappointed with me and kept telling me his safe, this made me more suspicious. What a creep my first day back working, now this reminds me why.

And to top it all off another phoned asking for phone sex randomly. He must have been very excited when told him sorry bye. :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 11 June 2013, 07:58:37 am
Just had a guy email me telling me he would only see me if he knew my real name...........*delete* tosser! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 20 June 2013, 09:40:57 pm
"hi swety where do you live ? and i give you 60 for 1h but no fuck just oral sex i lick you put finger inside lick your ass and you suck me ok ?"


How fucking disgusting!!!
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mi on 20 June 2013, 10:37:43 pm
'hi huni can i rape you at mine please'   is definitely not the right way to express desire for a rape fantasy scenario lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jenny 2 on 21 June 2013, 02:24:11 pm
 i am what is known as a fixer. I arrange many things for wealthy clientele from around the globe.

An example of some of the things i arrange for my clients are:-

Arranging private jets/helicopters
Reserving hotel suites
providing chauffeurs
providing personal minders
Arranging entertainment

This is just a small example, to give you an idea as to the status of my clients.

My client base has built up rapidly over the last 25 years purely due to the fact that i never ever disappoint!

For the first ever time, i have now advertised for High Class female companions. Please note that i am very specific with my requirements and ask that you take time to read all of them before deciding to continue with your application.



I will not consider anyone who has previously been photographed by media and is known as an escort.
I will not consider anyone who has previously spoken to the press regarding their liasons with celebrities or known public figures
I will not consider anyone who has advertised any unprotected sexual service on any internet website.
I will not consider anyone who is bigger than a size 12 {u.k} in clothing
I will not consider anyone who does not speak English fluently.

Also you must be made aware that if you are selected to join my elite portfolio, you will need to provide me with photographic proof of you name address and D.O.B. I will not provide these details to any potential client!

So if you feel you fit the criteria, i ask you to continue with the selection process.

All i now ask you to do is respond with a recent picture of yourself {must show face} You must be fully clothed! anyone responding with pictures containing nudity will be eliminated from the process!

Also write a short paragraph describing yourself { Nothing sexual!}

I am looking for 10 girls only! i have received many many applicants and therefore have to dwindle the list down. In which case i have devised a 4 stage selection process.
 
Ladies please note. It is of vital importance that you make the effort to send a picture with you looking at your very best! It is just as important that you tell me as much about yourself as possible, as only 50% of you will be selected for the next stage!

Finally i will just give you an idea as to what the correct applicant can potentially earn.

My top earner for 2011/2012 earned ?2.3 million
My average earner for 2011/2012 earned ?180,000
My lowest earner for 2011/2012 earned ?72,000

Thank you once again for your interest. Please note that should i choose not to bring you through to the next stage, your application and photograph will be destroyed.

Ladies i look forward to your responses. you have until 26/06/2013 to respond, as i will be making my selections for the next stage on that date.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This was initially pursued on aw via the reverse bookings system............ he's 'avin a larf' surely!!!!!!

Well, off to write up my application and when I make my millions I shall come back and tell you all!

Sad thing is that newbies usually believe this sort of stuff....... oh well. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FakePlasticTrees on 21 June 2013, 02:32:15 pm
All of it ridiculous but I'm specifically puzzled and disgusts in the size 12 and under only statement. I'm a skinny girl but I still think that's bloody awful.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jenny 2 on 21 June 2013, 02:44:04 pm
Ooops

I think I posted in wrong section - was meant to be in blather and babble, but hey it's not a crucial thing..........

Yes, very size-ist - isn't it?  At least he hasn't been age-ist though! 

Running off to write up my application girls, watch this space!  When I make my millions I will let you know.................LOL

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 21 June 2013, 02:45:09 pm
Leaving the general crapitude aside (he doesn't want prostitutes to apply, but advertises on a site used by guess-who), this sounds to me unpleasantly like the latest incarnation of this shower:

http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=479.0

who've been operating around the Heathrow area for years and have probably scammed hundreds of newbies in the most disgusting way possible. If anybody wants to find out a little bit more about the MO above, please do let me know because in that case it belongs firmly in Warnings.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jenny 2 on 21 June 2013, 02:56:15 pm
Gosh Amy, I hadn't considered that there could be a serious scam here.  Apologies.

I suspected it was just someone collecting photo's and basically a timewaster sitting somewhere having a laugh at the ladies' expense. 

I did think though that any newbies would possibly be drawn to this talk of high earnings......... sad isn't it.

Will keep you posted if I learn any more. 

J
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 21 June 2013, 02:58:43 pm
Quote from: Jenny 2 on 21 June 2013, 02:56:15 pm
Gosh Amy, I hadn't considered that there could be a serious scam here.  Apologies.

I suspected it was just someone collecting photo's and basically a timewaster sitting somewhere having a laugh at the ladies' expense. 

I did think though that any newbies would possibly be drawn to this talk of high earnings......... sad isn't it.

Will keep you posted if I learn any more. 

J

Well hopefully it is, to be honest. But I daresay the original lot's ringing-from-withheld-number tactic probably doesn't work that well for them nowadays and they may have upped their game a bit.

I have a nasty suspicious mind, too ;D.


EDIT: I should also say there's nothing to apologise for! We can't post warnings on the strength of a daft), but I'm still glad I've seen it and you just never know. I don't look at them so I'd have never spotted it :).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JuicyLucy on 22 June 2013, 09:32:52 am
Had a couple of weird/annoying calls this morning. After working until 4:30am at the parlour I have been woken by two phone calls this morning.

The first was at 8:00am from a number I had previously saved as "timewaster never booked". I said hello to be greeted with who is this? I replied it's Belle, we've spoken before a few weeks ago you got my phone number from aw. Then I got a pause and got asked the usual about rates and extras. He told me none of this was on my profile but he didn't know I had him on speaker and had seen our previous text log! I said my rates were still the same quoted again and said all this WAS on my profile too. Asked when he wanted to book and surprise surprise he said he would get back to me lol.

Went to try and sleep again got another phone call my phone showed "rude has no landline" so I answered anyway then I got "Is this Darren?" to which I replied "No, it's Belle and you know this already" lol! Then he mumbled sorry and hung up.


Why on earth do these guys play dumb and pretend they don't know who we are when they contacted us a few weeks ago? Also timewasters are getting up earlier in the morning! Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 22 June 2013, 08:24:30 pm
Quote from: JuicyLucy on 22 June 2013, 09:32:52 am
Had a couple of weird/annoying calls this morning. After working until 4:30am at the parlour I have been woken by two phone calls this morning.

The first was at 8:00am from a number I had previously saved as "timewaster never booked". I said hello to be greeted with who is this? I replied it's Belle, we've spoken before a few weeks ago you got my phone number from aw. Then I got a pause and got asked the usual about rates and extras. He told me none of this was on my profile but he didn't know I had him on speaker and had seen our previous text log! I said my rates were still the same quoted again and said all this WAS on my profile too. Asked when he wanted to book and surprise surprise he said he would get back to me lol.

Went to try and sleep again got another phone call my phone showed "rude has no landline" so I answered anyway then I got "Is this Darren?" to which I replied "No, it's Belle and you know this already" lol! Then he mumbled sorry and hung up.


Why on earth do these guys play dumb and pretend they don't know who we are when they contacted us a few weeks ago? Also timewasters are getting up earlier in the morning! Haha!
It massively infuriates me! Stupid calls at stupid o'clock in the dam fing morning, so I switch my phone off at midnight now. Why were you picking up phone calls at 4.30am? Lol! I certainly wouldn't have been so polite!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Londonergirl on 22 June 2013, 11:19:06 pm
yesterday i had this call:

idiot: whats your name?
me: my name is ...
idiot: are you black or white?

I dont know... I think I am purple :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 23 June 2013, 04:29:37 am
Hi sweaty,How r u? I hope you doing well:) I'd like to meet u and I'm looking for Extraball,FK,doggie;) and I'll be very honest and direct..I have 100CD and I know it's nothing for u but I'm student cuz that I don't have enough money..I try to explain what I want and what I have to show u that I really want to see you and I'm so serious..I hope I'll meet you tonight:*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emily b on 23 June 2013, 09:31:06 pm
Well, I woke up to this text this morning....


''What time do you start and address please''



Bloody charming ! :-\ still....at least he said please lol .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emily b on 23 June 2013, 10:19:21 pm
OOh just remembered this one....

I went on an outcall one evening to a hotel..

  Anyway, got down to 'business' he was on top , then suddenly stopped dead , i asked
'are you ok?'
he replied.
'hmmm, was just thinking what else i could've spent the money on'
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 ???  Speechless......
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lex.Tex on 25 June 2013, 07:11:19 am
Quote from: Emily b on 23 June 2013, 10:19:21 pm
OOh just remembered this one....

I went on an outcall one evening to a hotel..

  Anyway, got down to 'business' he was on top , then suddenly stopped dead , i asked
'are you ok?'
he replied.
'hmmm, was just thinking what else i could've spent the money on'
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 ???  Speechless......

Hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa!!!!  :D emily id have said that's funny im just thinking what I'm going to spend your money on. Some guys.... ::) x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ellie44 on 25 June 2013, 09:49:16 pm
Just received:

****************

Hi babe please read x

I wanted to book an overnight and wanted to pay you via Bank Transfer is that ok? I can pay instantly x Sorry about the abrupt message but you look stunning x

***************

NEVER met this man in my LIFE do they really think we will fall for this? Perhaps some do so off to the reports section I go as sounds verrry dodgy to me!

FYI I responded with a terse message saying I do not give out personal bank details and iv never even met him- payment is cash only, upfront. And I also added "sorry for the abrupt response but I had to be honest"

Weirdo!

Ellie xx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ellie44 on 25 June 2013, 09:57:37 pm
Just received the following, may be doing the rounds but be careful ladies this is verrrry dodgy and perhaps some would fall for that crap so posting a warning just incase! Only contact info I have is his AW username which is "amz4u". I have never met him or spoken to him before, just a random email (but not the nigerian one- seems more personal, like its one guy or a couple of guys doing it.

*********************

Hi babe please read x

I wanted to book an overnight and wanted to pay you via Bank Transfer is that ok? I can pay instantly x Sorry about the abrupt message but you look stunning x

********************

Idiot. Watch out for him!

Ellie xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ellie44 on 25 June 2013, 10:06:33 pm
Just been thinking about this and im actually REALLY annoyed and worried people will fall for it so posted it in the warnings section and also sent him this:

"On the off chance you ARE genuine I would suggest NEVER sending emails regarding bank transfers and peoples details. It is dodgy sounding as iv never met you in my life and you want to pay for an overnight NOW? Which just happens to involve my bank details- girls like good old fashioned cash only and any wise girl would accept this ONLY. So if you do want to book a girl please heed my advice because you will keep getting refused otherwise.

If you are a scammer I would like to remind you that this is illegal, my job is NOT, and theft/ fraud is punishable by law if reported. And there are many warning sections in various punting and escort sites for people who try to scam others."

Ellie xx

(Obviously some girls like paypal etc never thought of that but im not saying girls who use paypal are unwise- just that girls are too savvy to send their bank details to a stranger) Thats a little off topic but an update!

Ellie xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shaiya on 25 June 2013, 10:34:53 pm
Phonecall from a man who has been on AW since 2006 with no feedback

'Can I take poppers?'
'Yes'
'Can I rim you?'
'Yes'
'Are your tits natural or fake?'
'Your taking the piss' *hang up*

Have got about 20 calls from him and 4 texts of 'PLEASE LET ME BOOK I DID NOT MEAN TO OFFEND I AM GENUINE CLIENT', saved now as twfreak on my phone :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 26 June 2013, 07:57:29 am
Quote from: Shaiya on 25 June 2013, 10:34:53 pm
Phonecall from a man who has been on AW since 2006 with no feedback

'Can I take poppers?'
'Yes'
'Can I rim you?'
'Yes'
'Are your tits natural or fake?'
'Your taking the piss' *hang up*

Have got about 20 calls from him and 4 texts of 'PLEASE LET ME BOOK I DID NOT MEAN TO OFFEND I AM GENUINE CLIENT', saved now as twfreak on my phone :(

Also amuses me when I receive texts saying "I want to book", and the guy hasn't read any of my details then turns out I'm not in the location/age range/size/price bracket or offering appt length he's looking for.

Makes me smile, I'm guessing what they mean is they are wanting to book someone that day.

Last week someone got grumpy when I couldn't see them because I was fully booked at the times he wanted, started saying "I really want to see you, please try fitting me in". When I couldn't he asks for a booking when next in the area, we discuss timing. He then asks how much for 1 hour and says that doesn't fit his budget. Hang on you've just gone on and on about how much you really want to see me, I'd presumed from that he'd read my website, seen my rates.

Never presume anything!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 27 June 2013, 09:21:29 pm
'dear mistress......

hi , this might interest you , i have previously worked with a mistress
providing assistance as a dom giving forced oral amongst other things to
Bi sub clients , currently looking for a mistress to assist should the
service be requested , i do charge a fee for this and basic ?60 for forced
oral anything else is open to discussion , i am openminded flexible and
experienced , obviously i would work under your direction and understand
mistress protocol and would blend into the background until i get the nod
from you . if a client should request such a service then please dont
hesitate to give me a shout xx dick-for-brains .'

seriously  ::) this guy can carry on 'blending into the background' for ever!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emily b on 27 June 2013, 11:43:09 pm
Quote from: Lex.Tex on 25 June 2013, 07:11:19 am
Quote from: Emily b on 23 June 2013, 10:19:21 pm
OOh just remembered this one....

I went on an outcall one evening to a hotel..

  Anyway, got down to 'business' he was on top , then suddenly stopped dead , i asked
'are you ok?'
he replied.
'hmmm, was just thinking what else i could've spent the money on'
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 ???  Speechless......

Hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa!!!!  :D emily id have said that's funny im just thinking what I'm going to spend your money on. Some guys.... ::) x


And the thing was....that was actually the second time he had said this in the booking, the first time he said it i thought....ah its just nerves - let it go

Give me strength  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: erotica on 28 June 2013, 02:41:29 pm
I got platonic date regularly , Today I was suppose to go for afternoon tea with a new clients. However he seemed a bit dodgy as he was sending thousand of text so i text "just to make sure : are you OK with my rate for platonic date" and said " what? I am not paying to eat with a prostitute, I thought we were friends" gosh and cherry on the cake he said after " I hope one day you will learn that not everything in life is about money"

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 01 July 2013, 11:27:11 am
How about this one ladies.......... 'I am also fully circumcised (and shaven) from birth!!   Really, his parents were shaving him from birth LMFAO  do they do baby razors
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 01 July 2013, 03:30:56 pm
Quote from: ClaireJayne on 01 July 2013, 11:27:11 am
How about this one ladies.......... 'I am also fully circumcised (and shaven) from birth!!   Really, his parents were shaving him from birth LMFAO  do they do baby razors

Lets ignore the fact that babies are not born with genital hair  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 01 July 2013, 03:35:21 pm
HAHA!  judging by his email, I think he was covered in hair lol 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 02 July 2013, 02:21:36 pm
Found this on a reverse booking LMFAO!

"Hello, thanks for reading, sorry this is going to be a long one I'm afraid, I'm not just looking for a normal price / hour booking so please do read and let me know if this interests you or if you know somebody it might please do let them know.

I'm in my late twenties, down to earth, open and overly honest, I'm looking for somebody who's just bored of having bad sex with people they have nothing in common or no sexual attraction too. I live alone in my own place in ocean village, Southampton, somewhere you could just come over whenever you liked for a smoke, chat, bitch or just to be spoilt.

I have a very talented tongue and because of that am quite in-demand however am looking for a girl that understands that sometimes sex is just better when you're in a pair of suspenders and a corset and isn't afraid to experiment and let go a little to try raise each other's pleasure boundaries.

I'm very much a believer in connections between people and that life should be about crafting good and enjoyable experiences between people, I'm very much a giver and can't think of anything better than spoiling a girl, everybody needs to relax in a nice place, have a soak in the bath, foot massage and a 20 min long multiple orgasm after a crap day. As much of a joke as that sounds, this is legit, I really can do things with my tongue that most people just never could.

I'm aware that what I'm looking for is very unique and probably the wrong place to ask, however I have done this now successfully 3 times on year long agreements with girls from AW and see no reason that I can't find somebody again who just wants somewhere they can punch out and enjoy something for them rather than it always about what the client wants.

I have a lot of experience with this industry and can help with photos and profiles and how to monetise and really get the most out of this site as well as provide great chat, great sex and I also make a great cup of tea :)

Please feel free to drop me a message should you have any questions or make a comment when you bid, essentially in the past the money has not been to cover time, it's just to cover travel and the odd expenses, so I'm aware that it's "not enough" and if that's your attitude then this probably isn't the job for you. However if you are bored of just seeing people you don't get on with or are left feel disappointed after, or just want somewhere to come escape the world after a crap day at work, then why not give me a try!

I know it's really very difficult to maintain a normal relationship with anybody while doing this for a living, and sometimes it's even harder when you don't really have anybody you can talk too, both of these things I can help with and give you just enough stability to help you navigate though this weird and wonderful world while not getting in the way of work and helping out where I can.

As how we get along is so important I would suggest we meet up on a non-sexual basis for a drink at mine first so that we can break the ice and sort out arrangements / money and anything else that's required up front.

If you do have any comments or feedback please do let me know, looking forward to seeing what you all think and hopefully finding somebody new and awesome to spend time with and spoil a little. I've put the price as ?400 and this would be paid monthly, in the past it has been less than this however i'm aware that petrol has gone up etc etc however if you wish to do it for less that be great :)

What I'm looking for is for somebody to come over at least once a week, more of course if you find that you just need too."

What an absolutely deluded idiot!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cassidy Star on 02 July 2013, 04:56:29 pm
Haha loved reading these.

If I had a pound for each time I hear about their abilities with their tongues, and how they can make a women have long multiple orgasms.......

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 03 July 2013, 12:02:43 pm
Text received overnight:

"Hello miss Diana Murphy. I'm M. i would like to book you for a 2hrs facesitting appointment. please :) please text me back. Yours respectfully M."

As respectful as I'm sure he is I really don't fancy spending 2 hours facesitting! LOL!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 03 July 2013, 11:40:10 pm
Quote from: DianaMurphy on 03 July 2013, 12:02:43 pm
Text received overnight:

"Hello miss Diana Murphy. I'm M. i would like to book you for a 2hrs facesitting appointment. please :) please text me back. Yours respectfully M."

As respectful as I'm sure he is I really don't fancy spending 2 hours facesitting! LOL!  ::)

I thought M was a woman unless there's something we don't know about Judi Dench.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DianaMurphy on 04 July 2013, 12:29:02 pm
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 03 July 2013, 11:40:10 pm
Quote from: DianaMurphy on 03 July 2013, 12:02:43 pm
Text received overnight:

"Hello miss Diana Murphy. I'm M. i would like to book you for a 2hrs facesitting appointment. please :) please text me back. Yours respectfully M."

As respectful as I'm sure he is I really don't fancy spending 2 hours facesitting! LOL!  ::)

I thought M was a woman unless there's something we don't know about Judi Dench.

LOL! This deffo was no Dame!  8) He got very abusive when I politely replied saying that I would get bored after half an hour of facesitting, never mind 2 hours! Absolute gerk actually telling me that if he paid me to do something for 2 hours then he would expect me to do it or ask for his money back! Dick head!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anna-Bee on 04 July 2013, 04:05:19 pm
Just received the following email...

Quote
Hi my name is David I'm a male escort looking for a female to have fun with to take pictures for my profile and also to have sex with free of charge to see how the escorting business works

If your not interested don't bother send a nasty email back as there is no need as I am just trying to find a female client peacefully

Thanks xx


Oh yeah sure of course I'll help you with that.....love how he even knows the response he will get and has requested no nasty emails  :FF have sent him one anyways haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 04 July 2013, 05:08:38 pm
Quote from: Anna-Bee on 04 July 2013, 04:05:19 pm
Just received the following email...

Quote
Hi my name is David I'm a male escort looking for a female to have fun with to take pictures for my profile and also to have sex with free of charge to see how the escorting business works

If your not interested don't bother send a nasty email back as there is no need as I am just trying to find a female client peacefully

Thanks xx


Oh yeah sure of course I'll help you with that.....love how he even knows the response he will get and has requested no nasty emails  :FF have sent him one anyways haha!

Wants to see how the business works??! For FREE??! He won't find a female client by asking escorts for a shag!!

Do what I do - reply and tell him that many men would find him desirable, hope he's got plenty of BJ-giving experience, and wish him luck finding lots of male clients. When he replies (and he will!) "I only want female clients", reply with "Good luck finding next month's rent then!"

(I only ever reply like this when they come across as arrogant/god's gift/looking for free sex with escorts - the genuine (not many!) guys who seem sweet but misguided get a link to the "male escort" thread on here :) )
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anna-Bee on 05 July 2013, 01:58:08 am
I know! He was so deluded, looked on his profile and he claimed to offer the boyfriend experience haha. His rates were hilarious. ?50 for five hours!   ::)


God loves a tryer ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 05 July 2013, 05:34:31 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 04 July 2013, 05:08:38 pm
Do what I do - reply and tell him that many men would find him desirable, hope he's got plenty of BJ-giving experience, and wish him luck finding lots of male clients. When he replies (and he will!) "I only want female clients", reply with "Good luck finding next month's rent then!"
(I only ever reply like this when they come across as arrogant/god's gift/looking for free sex with escorts - the genuine (not many!) guys who seem sweet but misguided get a link to the "male escort" thread on here :) )


Had a good laugh at this,  can just imagine the response being something along the line of 'oh I only do this for fun, I don't really NEED the money' or something similar, aye right.  Try another excuse mate.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: x-Veronica-x on 05 July 2013, 10:49:20 pm
Got this today

Are you up for meeting with me and my fuck buddy? She is 42 and gorgeous and I'm 38 and not too bad? Lets know. Meet will be in Liverpool or we will try and cum to you x


yeah course I will haha not!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 06 July 2013, 11:23:11 am
This guy has been bugging me for over a month and has had many suggestions about how I could see him (I'm not currently able to offer incalls so he wants to meet me to give me cash to book us a hotel room, not sure why he can't just book the room himself) but today's exchange was a bit much:

Him: Please try and work out a way to see me. I dont care wot it cost x
Me: My website will be updated when I'm offering incalls so please keep an eye there and get in touch then :) x
Him: U got any otha friends who do in calls who u can suggest and i pay u for sorting it x
Me: Sorry, I don't know any other girls x
Him: U got any mates that fancy sum xtra cash in these hard times x
Me: Haha no sorry, my mates wouldn't want to do this work, also all the people I know well are back in my hometown. Check out AdultWork, there are loads of girls on there who can offer incalls etc: http://www.adultwork.com/Search.asp
Him: Wheres ur hometown x
Me: <my hometown> (it's mentioned on my website and AW profile so not a secret to people who can read)
Him: Oh nice place. U got any mates there dont hav to b workng grls that fancy being lickd thats all x
Me: (thinking I probably should've blocked this guy about 3 weeks ago) I already told you I'm not introducing you to anyone, especially someone who has no interest in this line of work. As I said Adultwork is full of working girls offering incalls in the local area so please check there and I will not be answering any more questions that don't relate to making a booking with me.

I've not heard anything since then, but he'll probably be back in touch again before long *eye roll*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 07 July 2013, 08:57:49 am
Anyone else get tired of emails like this?  You can always tell the escorts with 'mutual feedback', they all have feedback from guys like this, and the guys get to make money out of 'shared' content.  I guess I just hate guys making money out of us WGs, however it is made.  Oh yeh guess what a couple of aliases, feedback from members 'No longer active' (probably the aliases), and a pic of a huge cock as his profile pic........

Want to earn money from your profile by setting up or putting more albums in the private galleries and get more mutual feedback?

Happy to do face or non-face ie it's down to you to let me know what you want to help with your profile, whether it be more high quality HD pictures for your profile page, public gallery or if its to set some albums up and charge for the pleasure of others to access your private galleries ;o)

I've professional equipment and know how to use it and have experinece of suggesting poses that will drive men to look! Happy to do inside or outside shoots and know some discreet places if out.

Would be happy to edit or upload as required by you as well as do mutual feedback.

If of interest txt me anytime on
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 07 July 2013, 04:36:19 pm
Them:I would like to make a booking

Me: ok what time would you like

Him:Err... Around 4.

Me:So what time would you like?

Him... I'll maybe get back to you if have time...

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mklxx on 10 July 2013, 02:51:46 pm
Got this text (agency recruiting) yesterday.. And it still makes me wonder..

Agy: Hi lovely, I saw your photos on the web and you look gorgeous! We are from a London escort agency that work with sophisticated international clients, and we are looking for acquire more attractive models.
Please have look at our website www.xxxxx

Me: Whats your cut? All your escorts show the faces. I`m not showing mine and never will.

Agy: What do you mean?
Agy: You can blur your face, no problem

Me (stunned): You have text me that you wanted me to join you.. I am asking what is your cut?

Agy: What do you mean with cut?

Me: (totally stunned)

At this point I gave up, but still wonder.. The only thing I can think of is that this wonderful agency does not take their cut..

Amazing!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 10 July 2013, 03:07:05 pm
Hi Momo, long time no see.

From first paragraph it is obvious that the writer does not have English as their mother tongue, so probably have no idea what you are talking about.  ::)

Good way to run a business.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mklxx on 10 July 2013, 03:18:36 pm
Lady L

I agree, altho I think this should be the magic word to learn for any agency - THE CUT!

Good luck for them  though.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: inna on 17 July 2013, 02:02:44 pm
If you use "txtspk" or call me "hun" or "babe"...

I am actually thinking of saying no one under 25, without 5 GCSEs and 2 A-levels... and I mean real A-levels... or a CSCS master craftsman card.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 18 July 2013, 09:50:33 am
I had a guy email me saying that he's been seeing escorts for years but is going to start writing a book about his experiences and wondered if after we've had sex can he interview on my experiences. He then said he's just waiting on his wife dying of cancer  :'(

What a thing to say, I wonder if he ever got the response he was looking for with someone else as surely I wasn't the only one he sent that message to. You'd think with him having "years" of experience with escorts that he'd know that saying something like that isn't the done thing. Some never learnt though I guess.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 18 July 2013, 12:57:55 pm
A few weeks ago I had a text from a client I've seen before requesting several services which I don't offer.  I said, "No, those are services I don't offer. Please have another look at my profile."

He's asked for the same things twice a day, every day since.

'Do I look like a parrot?  'Cause you're sure sounding like one!' *block*  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 18 July 2013, 03:16:07 pm
Like I said in a previous post, business is quiet today .......... but the telephone morons aren't.

On most of my adverts I have my website, even on vivastreet now I can put my website (even if its not clickable  :().

However the number of eejits Ive been getting on the phone has been unreal.  I think the sun is shrivelling their brains to an even smaller size than normal.

I ask where they got my number and when they tell me I know if my website is there, if it is I tell them to go read my website and if still interested get back to me.  I cant be assed with guys that cant even be bothered to read something that I have taken the time to write out and correct.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 18 July 2013, 04:46:48 pm
My phone has been pretty quiet since its summer time but as you say its been busy enough with all the blocked people I have phoning me, still not getting the hint that I do not want to meet them despite how many times they have been told x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindydoll on 20 July 2013, 11:20:25 am
A guy keeps asking me if we can do some role play where I'm an underage virgin and he's my best friends dad who is going to 'steal' my virginity  :-X

No matter how many times I say no he won't stop sending me booking requests on aw  :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 20 July 2013, 11:43:16 am
Block him cindy and it may stop.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindydoll on 20 July 2013, 11:47:09 am
tried that - he made a new account and sent me a more detailed message of what he wanted  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emily b on 21 July 2013, 12:20:36 pm
Morning Ladies - had this rather strange text earlier..

Twat - What do you say we dent some headboards

Me - Hilarious.

Twat - Thanks

 ???
WTF are these guys on ? Hope he wasn't expecting to use my head for the said denting !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sassy Slapper on 21 July 2013, 12:35:37 pm
I rarely get odd ones other than the occasional text speaker which I just ignore or Mr Details who then asks after making a booking "err sorry whats your name"???  :o

I did get this juicy little number texted to my phone the other week though.

High Chleo

My frnd Jason iz feelin reely hrny 2nite n we wanna make him feel gd as he had bad time laytley. Can u cum ovr to his flat tonight n cheer him up, he iz well mash up wiv vodka n sniff but nice guy. Dnt wrry we iz gonna be in other room n will b quite while u here.

I know its not professional but I ignored that request  ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 21 July 2013, 12:53:59 pm
Quote from: Chloe Kisses on 21 July 2013, 12:35:37 pm
I rarely get odd ones other than the occasional text speaker which I just ignore or Mr Details who then asks after making a booking "err sorry whats your name"???  :o

I did get this juicy little number texted to my phone the other week though.

High Chleo

My frnd Jason iz feelin reely hrny 2nite n we wanna make him feel gd as he had bad time laytley. Can u cum ovr to his flat tonight n cheer him up, he iz well mash up wiv vodka n sniff but nice guy. Dnt wrry we iz gonna be in other room n will b quite while u here.


Oh my god LMAO!  That's made my day I'm LOL-ing  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 21 July 2013, 03:49:27 pm
Couldnt resist sharing this with you all.....hes a male escort offering his services 'for free', guess he will get crushed in the stampede of willing females.......

Hey Hun
as you can see in my profile, I'm a male escort and experienced massage therapist, Based in Manchester, but I travel everywhere in UK.recently I've applied for an escort agency in sydney australia but they asked me for some forms which is about my clients satisfaction.
and I work for free all this week and I can provide all my services to you instead i want you to fill a one page questionare about my services.if you are satisfy or not.and instead I give you full service for free.
I'm very open mind and I can ask my friend to join us if you want that. to make you super horny.
And one more, if you cannot accommodate, I can book a hotel room. if you are interested please reply me soon xx
about me: I'm a really nice Italian guy and I'm experienced.

Thank you xxxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 21 July 2013, 04:53:37 pm
Quote from: Chloe Kisses on 21 July 2013, 12:35:37 pm
I rarely get odd ones other than the occasional text speaker which I just ignore or Mr Details who then asks after making a booking "err sorry whats your name"???  :o

I did get this juicy little number texted to my phone the other week though.

High Chleo

My frnd Jason iz feelin reely hrny 2nite n we wanna make him feel gd as he had bad time laytley. Can u cum ovr to his flat tonight n cheer him up, he iz well mash up wiv vodka n sniff but nice guy. Dnt wrry we iz gonna be in other room n will b quite while u here.

I know its not professional but I ignored that request  ::) ::)

This made me smile, poor l'il loves.

Someone sent me an email last night asking me to meet them some outdoor place near a bar in a very far off, known for being a bit rough part of the country. The instruction was to "ask the barman, he'll tell you were to go". I did send a very polite reply much later on, advising I wouldn't be attending ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady c on 21 July 2013, 08:46:25 pm
I decided to do an in call at mine for a few regulars and a new guy called I told him I was house sitting and to be discreet bla bla. He then started asking all sorts can u do this that and the other, then came the bombshell can you answer the door totally naked and French kiss me on doorstep ffs, I said how the hell is that discreet your a liability so its cancelled.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 21 July 2013, 09:31:16 pm
Can I sniff your feet 5 min for 20$

Hello there

I'm an amature tatoo artist in O....a who is always looking to add to my portfolio I have all professional equipment,42 colors of sterilized ink and sterilized needles.I'm also very health conscious.Would be willing to trade your time for mine.:) interested?

 David

Hey hun how much for 15 min

130$ it's up to you If you want to leave after 15 min it won't be any less

Ohh i was looking for a quickie for like 60$

Chance your luck with street ladies


Is that really you on the site

No that's my twin sister
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 23 July 2013, 10:55:22 am
In this heat, I'm exhausted just thinking about what this guy wants.  Probably just a fantasist in anycase.  Got this earlier -

Hi,
I'd like to ask you can you tie me up using 40 or so pairs of tights??
That's my fantasy ;))
How many pairs would you need?  I've never tried it before..
THX

Lol screw that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 23 July 2013, 04:35:29 pm
OMG are you in Glasgow? I got that email too lol username widek? So funny how they just send all these stupid messages, I wonder what actually goes through their heads? x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 23 July 2013, 06:13:12 pm
I got that message too, made me laugh hysterically yesterday, he's got lots of 'timewaster' notes against his name.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 23 July 2013, 06:20:26 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 23 July 2013, 04:35:29 pm
OMG are you in Glasgow? I got that email too lol username widek? So funny how they just send all these stupid messages, I wonder what actually goes through their heads? x

The very same haha.  I'm in the south sweetie.  Total freaking timewaster.  I didn't oblige him with a reply, naturally!  It is a pretty funny thing to imagine though  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 23 July 2013, 06:55:22 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 23 July 2013, 06:13:12 pm
I got that message too, made me laugh hysterically yesterday, he's got lots of 'timewaster' notes against his name.

How can you tell if he has timewaster against his name? I can see he has 1 other aliases but that's it xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 23 July 2013, 08:46:01 pm
You can leave and view notes about clients if you're fully verified on AW.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 23 July 2013, 08:47:37 pm
Ah ok, na I am not fully verified. Don't feel comfortable sending them my passport details x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 23 July 2013, 11:29:15 pm
I blocked another dim wit well from Ireland who sent me a happy message ending with ''One point however, please don't take offence, but some of the English is a bit funny. I'm not being critical, just trying to help.''

More like critical, I hate when they say this then do exactly that like they are excusing themselves.



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 24 July 2013, 12:23:44 pm
Quote from: Clarabella on 23 July 2013, 10:55:22 am
In this heat, I'm exhausted just thinking about what this guy wants.  Probably just a fantasist in anycase.  Got this earlier -

Hi,
I'd like to ask you can you tie me up using 40 or so pairs of tights??
That's my fantasy ;))
How many pairs would you need?  I've never tried it before..
THX

Lol screw that.

He's had no luck yet... my turn to get this one!

Tempted to tell him to put his tail back between his legs where it belongs... cruel, I know - but he's clearly just a fantasist looking for responses about tights for his wank bank.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 24 July 2013, 06:05:11 pm
Guy calls today several times.  I eventually get chance to answer.

He wants outcall to a location which is 2 hours approx. away from me, so I decline, he says, I can arrange transport for you.

No thanks mate, Im a driver, im not doing a 2 hour trip each way for a two hour booking.  If you can arrange the transport why don't YOU visit ME. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.  He couldn't come up with an answer and just said 'oh I think ill just leave it' ... nae problem you numpty.

He wants ME to travel 2 hours each way in transport driven by someone I don't know from Adam but aint willing to do it himself.  Eejit......... NEXT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 24 July 2013, 07:42:27 pm
I had a guy phone me last nite from Aberdeen who apparently I've met before ask me for an outcall (which I don't do) to Aberdeen for an hour lol. I said I am in Glasgow not Aberdeen, he said I will pay your train fare up. I said I don't mean to be rude but you expect me to do a 6 hour round trip for an hours booking? He seemed genuinely surprised that I was kinda taken back by it and that I had no interest in it what so ever, weird.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 24 July 2013, 08:40:42 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 24 July 2013, 06:05:11 pm
Guy calls today several times.  I eventually get chance to answer.

He wants outcall to a location which is 2 hours approx. away from me, so I decline, he says, I can arrange transport for you.

No thanks mate, Im a driver, im not doing a 2 hour trip each way for a two hour booking.  If you can arrange the transport why don't YOU visit ME. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.  He couldn't come up with an answer and just said 'oh I think ill just leave it' ... nae problem you numpty.

He wants ME to travel 2 hours each way in transport driven by someone I don't know from Adam but aint willing to do it himself.  Eejit......... NEXT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A few weeks back I'd advised someone I was fully booked so couldn't accept their incall booking. They said how about you visit us?Once again sorry fully booked. Ok how about we send someone to pick you up?

I'm still unclear about how that one works.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 25 July 2013, 03:58:02 pm
I'm in stitches! This is a new one on me!

Im looking for a woman to do some roleplay with me. The scenario being the woman trying to start the car but the car wont start. The woman has to have hairy forearms too as part of the roleplay. Are you that woman, if not, can you recommend anyone who could do it?

Many Thanks.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mi on 26 July 2013, 01:59:03 pm
Had a guy called Killin try to book me, i know it's a place in Scotland and i have known a killian who was nicknamed killy but i just can't bring myself to go visit a man with a name that sounds like killing! It reminded me of Jeepers Creepers where his liscence plate says 'b eating u'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Londonergirl on 27 July 2013, 02:30:29 pm
Got this today:

crazy: hi my name is john looking for a big women am kind nice i will spoil you please text me john
me: hi John. How can I help?
crazy: Hi am looking for a relasionship with you is that possible mybe am a nice man john
me: no.
crazy: ok i will try other escort women for relasionship and marry no problum more fish in the sea am looking for a beautiful marmeid not a cod thank you for texting me bye

some crazy men out there.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roseanna on 27 July 2013, 02:53:34 pm
Quote from: bbwInLondon on 27 July 2013, 02:30:29 pm
Got this today:

crazy: hi my name is john looking for a big women am kind nice i will spoil you please text me john
me: hi John. How can I help?
crazy: Hi am looking for a relasionship with you is that possible mybe am a nice man john
me: no.
crazy: ok i will try other escort women for relasionship and marry no problum more fish in the sea am looking for a beautiful marmeid not a cod thank you for texting me bye

some crazy men out there.  ::)

People like that are a waste of blood and bone, let alone space.

Could be kids thinking about it. I've had a few which are obviously not someone who has ever been a client.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Grumpy Cow on 28 July 2013, 12:45:30 pm
This thread is a good reminder why I do not answer texts at all with the exception of two clients.  Those who are genuine will eventually call me.  Cuts out daft text ping pong. 

Still get some odd calls too.  Someone last week wanted to book an overnight despite not having read my site and tried to engage me in a long conversation about how he wanted to be humiliated, me pretending to be his wife and be mean to him.  He kept trying to tell me about his fantasies and wanted to know what would happen on our overnight.  I suggested dragging him to John Lewis to buy me a new freezer, argue with him there and moan how useless he is, then proceed to dinner eating the menu top to bottom till I can hardly move, roll into a taxi to his hotel, then tell him to sleep on the couch while I watch TV.  MWE = Mean Wife Experience.   Surely that sounded like a wet dream come true  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rubenesque on 28 July 2013, 11:21:26 pm
A week ago my bf &I had a booking made ( no mail first),booking us for 4 hours... 4 hours,for ?160 ( we charge that for 1 hour), I sent him a mail saying , we would be happy to see him but can he please make another booking for 1 hour at that price as 4 hours would be a lot more......nothing, so I deleted the booking.
2 weeks later he books again for 4 hours at ?160 again, maybe  he isn't  English and doesn't understand me... or maybe just thick!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 29 July 2013, 09:17:08 am
Quote from: Rubenesque on 28 July 2013, 11:21:26 pm
A week ago my bf &I had a booking made ( no mail first),booking us for 4 hours... 4 hours,for ?160 ( we charge that for 1 hour), I sent him a mail saying , we would be happy to see him but can he please make another booking for 1 hour at that price as 4 hours would be a lot more......nothing, so I deleted the booking.
2 weeks later he books again for 4 hours at ?160 again, maybe  he isn't  English and doesn't understand me... or maybe just thick!!


Did you check your feedback to see if he has left feedback only.  Maybe he hasn't but if you delete the booking this stops you from having the chance to reply to his feedback only or leaving fb for him.

I would block him in all sections so that he cant book again. 

Maybe engish isn't his first language but you just cant be sure.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 29 July 2013, 10:03:18 pm
Quote from: bbwInLondon on 27 July 2013, 02:30:29 pm
Got this today:

crazy: hi my name is john looking for a big women am kind nice i will spoil you please text me john
me: hi John. How can I help?
crazy: Hi am looking for a relasionship with you is that possible mybe am a nice man john
me: no.
crazy: ok i will try other escort women for relasionship and marry no problum more fish in the sea am looking for a beautiful marmeid not a cod thank you for texting me bye

some crazy men out there.  ::)

Pretty sure I had this idiot too, told them to try dating sites rather than prossie sites went on about how he wanted an escort as they need love too, said he had found an escort who was interested. Kept getting stupid texts which I ignored. Then on Saturday got a lovely text saying he doesnt want an escort anymore as we are all fake and airbrushed etc. Sounds like he got told where to go lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 30 July 2013, 05:17:21 am
Could I see you for 100$?

Try someone else

U r so mean!!!!

That's not mean just suggesting to try someone else as I don't see man who negotiate rates

How about a man who has fallen onto hard times.....maybe u might want to ask why b4 persuming

Seeing escorts is luxury.If you can't afford it maybe try alternative

Why don't u goto hell

U ain't pretty u just look that way
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 30 July 2013, 10:43:55 pm
Hello  Mistress,
 i know i don't deserve to be writing You, but i wanted to say hello to You,  Mistress.  i send this message with complete respect and humility. i hope You are having a good day today and that all of Your subs, slaves and sissies are serving and worshiping You like You deserve and are treating You with the respect, admiration and adoration You are entitled to. my name is chris and i am a sissy here in O......  i am a pig, a dog, a whore, a loser a sissy, a cum-eating, piss-drinking bitch. You are a Queen, and a Goddess. i am desperate to amuse and entertain You by showing You what a disgusting, nasty, pathetic whore i can be. i have a pathetic little dicklet and it has been a source of embarrassment and humiliation for me since i was a kid from changing in front of other guys in gym class to finally being alone with a girl and having her basically laugh in my face. i am sure it will be a great source of amusement for You. i am fully aware that You are superior to me in every way and i will work hard to serve, worship and obey You as You clearly deserve and like the Goddess You are. i would be honoured to be used, abused, dominated, degraded and humiliated by You.In addition to be will to be degraded and humiliated by You for Your amusement, i would also be willing to do any and all of Your housework including dishes, vacuuming, sweeping, licking Your floors clean, laundry, dusting, etc, etc, etc, with nothing expected in return except the satisfaction of being of use to a beautiful, superior Woman such as Yourself. So that You do not waste Your time on a pathetic bitch like me, please understand i am NOT seeking sexand don't have expendable income and therefore i am NOT looking for any type of professional domination service. i cannot afford such a service, and unfortunately can't afford to tribute. i am a genuine, sincere submissive sissy though.  i am merely seeking to find a Woman who would be interested in owning me as Their property.  i simply wish to serve and worship You as You deserve to make Your life easier.  A beautiful, superior Woman as You deserves to be worshiped as a Goddess and should not have to do chores like house cleaning.  If You want, i can simply come to Your home, change into my sissy outfit, work hard to clean Your home and complete all assigned chores to Your satisfaction and then simply go home when You tell me to to with nothing expected in return.  my reward is serving You.Well, needless to say, it would obviously mean a lot to a pathetic loser like me to hear from someone as clearly superior like You, Mistress.  i look forward to Your response.sissy-bitch,crissy

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kirstyinverness on 02 August 2013, 12:27:14 am
"Are you open?"

Umm, well im not a shop but yes i am working....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Chanel xxx on 02 August 2013, 12:50:02 am
 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lilith on 02 August 2013, 02:41:19 am
Love the basics...

Challenger : Would you like to get fucked?
Me : For sure! Would you like to go fuck?

Challenger : Why do you refuse to see me for free?
Me : Do you work for free?
Challenger : Erm, HELL NO! Can we go back to topic please?

And now, my weekly favorite!
It's all over my ads. OUTCALL ONLY.
Challenger : Where's your appartment?
Me : Nowhere, outcall only.
Challenger : Then, can I come to your home?

Challenger : I'm reading your ad. It says to contact you via e-mail but I can't find it.
Me : Under the phone number and next to "contact me via e-mail".

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: x-Veronica-x on 02 August 2013, 02:49:20 am
Challenger : Why do you refuse to see me for free?
Me : Do you work for free?
Challenger : Erm, HELL NO! Can we go back to topic please?

Someone's got a nerve...funny how some think we should work for free I honestly can't believe the nerve that guy had! Nice reply :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lilith on 02 August 2013, 03:32:08 am
French guy's are no joke...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nobody Interesting on 02 August 2013, 12:47:03 pm
"Incall say 10am? Xx Want you to be kneeling naked and bliind fold at the door with your mouth open xx"

Really? A grown man thinks a lady would put themselves in such a vulnerable position with a stranger????
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sade on 02 August 2013, 11:26:01 pm
Challenger: RU free ?
Me: No, my services are for cash only.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 03 August 2013, 10:09:12 am
Woke up to this, this morning........

You look great, I'd love to fuck you. Hows it going? x x

*shudder* A guy who's been on AW since 2009 with no feedback at all so I am hoping he's just one of these guys who send's emails to multiple girls and doesn't actually pick up the phone to make a booking.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jan10 on 03 August 2013, 10:14:45 am
Freak: Hello how much would you charge for me to shit in your hand.
Me: Read my profile I don't offer hardsports.
Idiot: I just wanted to shit in your hand and have you wipe it all over my body.
Me: What part of I don't offer hardsports don't you understand?
Idiot: It's hardsports on me though not on you.
Me: So shitting in my hands isn't hardsports on me then and rubbing it all over you isn't me dealing with hardsports. Idiot.  :FF

Dirtbag: Can I fuck you bareback for ?90.00?  :o

Twat: Can I see you for a quickie for ?10.00 What can you do for me for that amount?
Me: Ignore you!  ::)

Twit2: I am feeling very horny today. Would you like me to lick you for as long as you like?
Me: Since it is you that is feeling horny why would I want you to lick me for as long as I like.You are the horny one not me.  :FF

The lunatics have left the asylum this week.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 03 August 2013, 10:28:32 am
Quote from: Jan10 on 03 August 2013, 10:14:45 am
Freak: Hello how much would you charge for me to shit in your hand.
Me: Read my profile I don't offer hardsports.
Idiot: I just wanted to shit in your hand and have you wipe it all over my body.
Me: What part of I don't offer hardsports don't you understand?
Idiot: It's hardsports on me though not on you.
Me: So shitting in my hands isn't hardsports on me then and rubbing it all over you isn't me dealing with hardsports. Idiot.  :FF

Dirtbag: Can I fuck you bareback for ?90.00?  :o

Twat: Can I see you for a quickie for ?10.00 What can you do for me for that amount?
Me: Ignore you!  ::)

Twit2: I am feeling very horny today. Would you like me to lick you for as long as you like?
Me: Since it is you that is feeling horny why would I want you to lick me for as long as I like.You are the horny one not me.  :FF

The lunatics have left the asylum this week.

I thought I was a target for the major morons but you seem to be too lol. Gotta laugh huh?  :-* x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RVRiley on 04 August 2013, 11:20:38 pm
I had a lovely text earlier on this evening of. "I'm staying in the Hiltonin town, does this mean I get a discount?" In which I didn't reply, only for him to continue with:

1) I want to book an overnight, 12 hours 7-7
2) And I'll pay for dinner.
3) I was thinking ?250?
4) ??
5) Guess not. Would have gone higher.

I mean. . .seriously? I'm learning very quickly that even when you don't reply they seem persistent!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sade on 04 August 2013, 11:41:12 pm

Challenger:  Hi, I am a very rich man and I want to pay you ?500 for 1 hour, but you will have to come to my hotel, because I can't park my ferrari in your neighbourhood.

( I don't do outcalls and I charge ?70/ hr.)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 05 August 2013, 12:55:07 am
Quote from: Jan10 on 03 August 2013, 10:14:45 am
Freak: Hello how much would you charge for me to shit in your hand.
Me: Read my profile I don't offer hardsports.
Idiot: I just wanted to shit in your hand and have you wipe it all over my body.
Me: What part of I don't offer hardsports don't you understand?
Idiot: It's hardsports on me though not on you.
Me: So shitting in my hands isn't hardsports on me then and rubbing it all over you isn't me dealing with hardsports. Idiot.  :FF

Dirtbag: Can I fuck you bareback for ?90.00?  :o

Twat: Can I see you for a quickie for ?10.00 What can you do for me for that amount?
Me: Ignore you!  ::)

Twit2: I am feeling very horny today. Would you like me to lick you for as long as you like?
Me: Since it is you that is feeling horny why would I want you to lick me for as long as I like.You are the horny one not me.  :FF

The lunatics have left the asylum this week.
See this stuff doesn't make me laugh, it actually makes me rage with anger. I mean who the fuck do these people think they are? I mean what is actually fucking wrong with them?

I had a text earlier today asking me if I would come and visit for no sex and he will make me dinner but has no money! I mean LMFAO! When I told him very clearly that's not how it works and then he offered me his PS3! I mean what the actual fuck?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 05 August 2013, 12:59:06 am
I also hate the 'Are you working' I know it's not meant to be offensive but it's like guys assume that I'm just sitting around waiting for bookings.

I don't even really do 'working days' as such and say on my profile that I work around appointments and preferably advance ones, so I much prefer 'Hello Kylie, I'd like to make an appointment please'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 05 August 2013, 11:15:55 am
TExt that came at 4am sat morn " How many girls you got working at mo"

This is not a brothel !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 05 August 2013, 12:30:59 pm
Best text I have had so far: I have a tenner and some coconut oil can you fist my arse. I felt like replying, no but I can put that tenner up there if you like.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Misty Blue on 05 August 2013, 05:51:33 pm
Guy had been emailing me. He had zero feedback and his profile was set up as a service provider for women/couples etc. When i explained that i required a booking request before arranging an appointment or giving out my number here is what i got back

'Understandably you would have been messed about in the past - comes with the territory. I think you'll find once you meet me that I truly am genuine. I prefer to speak to the person I am going to meet beforehand to get a sense of chemistry or not. Judging from your profile, feedback and blog I appreciate that you are an intelligent person and therefore have your rules. I will play by your rules but I hope the reward is worth it. Will try to book you when I can and if destiny permits it we shall meet hopefully in the near future'

Holding my breath for that booking request ha ha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sade on 05 August 2013, 06:40:33 pm
Quote from: Misty Blue on 05 August 2013, 05:51:33 pm
Will try to book you when I can and if destiny permits it we shall meet hopefully in the near future'

Holding my breath for that booking request ha ha

Lol. this one's a keeper, Misty  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cindydoll on 05 August 2013, 07:06:27 pm
Got a aw message this morning from a 'good looking and handsome' 21 year old who doesn't think he should have to pay because any girl would be lucky to have him  ::)

since then hes sent me 2 booking requests; one for free and one for ?20 along with a message saying that ?20 for an hour is more than generous, especially if I haven't got any work.

keep trying pal, keep trying.

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 05 August 2013, 10:37:49 pm
Quote from: cindydoll on 05 August 2013, 07:06:27 pm
Got a aw message this morning from a 'good looking and handsome' 21 year old who doesn't think he should have to pay because any girl would be lucky to have him  ::)

since then hes sent me 2 booking requests; one for free and one for ?20 along with a message saying that ?20 for an hour is more than generous, especially if I haven't got any work.

keep trying pal, keep trying.

 :FF

If he's that great why is he on a site for prossies lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Misty Blue on 05 August 2013, 10:53:22 pm

I propose this new payscale ;)
Rates       ? Hour   1 Hour   1? Hours   2 Hours   3 Hours   4 Hours   
In Calls       80          130           170             200   300   -    400
Out Calls       -          150           190             230        330   -    430

Rates for those with brass neck, big willies, a high opinion of themselves and a predisposition for timewasting
                                         300         400            450         650           800



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kirstyinverness on 06 August 2013, 01:23:04 am
Ha, i actually had a random guy text saying 'Maybe if you didnt charge so much you would get more bookings' - !!!
Aye mate, im sure you know how many bookings i get ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 08 August 2013, 07:40:17 pm
Quote from: kirstyinverness on 06 August 2013, 01:23:04 am
Ha, i actually had a random guy text saying 'Maybe if you didnt charge so much you would get more bookings' - !!!
Aye mate, im sure you know how many bookings i get ;)

Send him up the Longman, one of the guys up there'll show him a good time for next to nothing ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AA on 08 August 2013, 07:43:32 pm
Quote from: MissKylie on 05 August 2013, 12:59:06 am
I also hate the 'Are you working' I know it's not meant to be offensive but it's like guys assume that I'm just sitting around waiting for bookings.

I don't even really do 'working days' as such and say on my profile that I work around appointments and preferably advance ones, so I much prefer 'Hello Kylie, I'd like to make an appointment please'

Good idea. Has it worked?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sade on 08 August 2013, 08:43:02 pm
I hate the " r u free  ". I never understand what it means.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 10 August 2013, 10:24:22 am
Quote from: sade on 08 August 2013, 08:43:02 pm
I hate the " r u free  ". I never understand what it means.

I don't get it either.  My response to this is always, "Oh no, honey.  I'm never free."

Either they hang up because they think they're being rejected or they realise I'm meaning money and they usually say something like, "haha, yeah, that's not what I meant, sorry!"  I know it isn't but it's a bit of a silly thing to say when there is money involved.  ::) x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 11 August 2013, 01:04:21 pm
New crazy text:

Looking for a girl who is prepared to cut off my foreskin with a pair of scissors i no it's a strange request but very genuine no other service just 2 minutes of your time if u can do this please give me a price thanks.


Showed my boyfriend this and he went into a cold sweat! hahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 11 August 2013, 06:36:57 pm
Got a TEXT (which I hate and have made clear not to text me for a booking) today on my DAY OFF (despite my working hours being the first thing written on my profile) saying........

Buddy r u workn tday was thnkn of popn up

Eh go have a wank instead you silly boy!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 12 August 2013, 04:22:35 am
May I ask you an unusual question?

Go on

I ask this with total respect and my intention is to see you tonight as I have read your excellent reviews.I am not judging you in any way.What do you consider yourself religiously?

Atheist :D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lauren88 on 12 August 2013, 12:41:43 pm
Me.. Hello, can I help you?
Him... Yeah, alright love, do you do it up the shitter?

Phone down and block!!

Me... Hello can I help you?
Him... What can I get for 20 quid
Me... I'm sorry but I wouldn't tickle one of your pubes with my little toe for that
Him... Well can I get a blow job for 20
Me... As previously stated... I won't do anything for 20 pounds
Him... Well fuck you then, I thought all you sluts needed money
Me... Sweetie, I'm not a slut... Unless you pay me to be, so take your 20 pound, buy yourself a porn DVD and a box of tissues and knock yourself out

Phone down and block

Me... Hello can I help you??
Him... If I lick your pussy can I get a free bj in return?
Me.... You seem to have misunderstood the meaning of escort.... That there, is what I am paid for
Him... So you wouldn't do it for free?
Me... Would tesco give you your shopping for free?
Him... Well obviously not
Me... Exactly, so how I going to buy my shopping if I do that for free everytime I am booked??

Phone done and block

My personal favourite...

Me... Hello can I help you??

Him.. Hi, I'm looking for a date for a bar mitzvah in leeds and a good seeing to after but you have got to pretend to be Jewish

Me... That's fine, how long would you like to book me for, when is the bar mitzvah, and I don't have to pretend, I am Jewish

Him... So you will do it for free?

Me... No

Him... Not even if I make a donation to shul?

Me.... No

Him... Not even if I dress as a rabbi and fuck you like it's Shabbat?

Me... Laughing, What's the difference between sex over Shabbat and any other day of the week?

Him... Muttering in Hebrew (saying I am a whore and I should just be laid bare for everyone to use)

Me... I can understand what you are saying and I wouldn't mind that as long as I was paid properly

Him... Oh I am sorry, so are you still available for the bar mitzvah?

Me... Is it kosher to eat pork?

Him.. No

Me.. Well there is your answer then!

Phone down and block!

I find the Londoners are always the strangest!!! Kaspersky is going to go on strike soon I swear!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissLarissa on 12 August 2013, 02:07:28 pm
Lol these make my day :D

Via text a second ago : " Straight to the point - i cumin to you. you sit on my face with ur knickers on and wiggle and wank me off. ?25 tonight?

How can people spell knickers and can't spell "your" ???

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 12 August 2013, 02:13:04 pm
Lol they make me laugh too. Are these guys just trolls or are they actually serious? WTF goes through they're heads? It baffles me every day x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 12 August 2013, 06:59:04 pm
A couple of charmers here

Txt that came in at 4am sat - "How many girlz working" ....... ( not a brothel! plus i wouldnt want to see anyone who spells "girls" as " girlz"

8pm last night - "are you workign tonight"
ME = "depends how long you want and what time , ring me please "
8pm = "45 min but my PC off now , whats the rarte and what dotn you do "  ( notice he still texting and not rung as asked !!)
ME = "You need to ring me "
8pm = Have you got toys and can you do anal in a quickie
ME = " Please dont txt again , i dotn fo anal . I suggest you read my page properly before contacting me again , same goes for other ladies! "
8pm = " fuck you fuckn slag "
ME =  Your blocked , i wouldnt of seen you anyway as your attitude stinks , no reasearch, boundray pushing haggler and repeatedly texted when asked to ring

half hour later
8pm - " have u got any toys , ill pay extra for anal , im only small"

Like im going to see him after the abuse ......sick of these types of men . Wasters.


And now at 5pm today ive had a text ( it says DONT TEXT al over ad0 askign if i will go on an outcall. Txtd back told him to ring , well he did ring ok , wanted me to go to his house in St Helens!!!

Another one who does no reasearch ..........i dont go to houses and i dotn go miles away as its got to be do-able by taxi , St helens is  A ?80 TAXI RIDE EACH WAY !!  ( prob more ) ..... SILLY MAN
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roseanna on 12 August 2013, 09:45:33 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 12 August 2013, 02:13:04 pm
Lol they make me laugh too. Are these guys just trolls or are they actually serious? WTF goes through they're heads? It baffles me every day x

Testosterone. It's a dangerous chemical. Mashes the brain. When men become even moderately aroused it doesn't work any more and only rubbish comes out.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 12 August 2013, 10:39:26 pm
Hahahahahaha xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Francesca on 13 August 2013, 07:16:44 pm
?Little head? thinking makes for big dick head behaviour!
What are the biggest examples you can think of?

I just had a text confirming a booking, followed by ?Can you answer the door naked??
My reply ?That is not worth losing my premises and livelihood over!?
Him ?Oh, sorry, I didn?t think.?

Have you got any examples of this type of (lack of) thought?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ana30 on 13 August 2013, 07:32:44 pm
Quote
�Little head� thinking makes for big dick head behaviour!
What are the biggest examples you can think of?

I just had a text confirming a booking, followed by �Can you answer the door naked?�
My reply �That is not worth losing my premises and livelihood over!�
Him �Oh, sorry, I didn�t think.�

That type of request would set my alarm bell ringing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarah sweeties on 13 August 2013, 08:08:20 pm
Quote from: Francesca on 13 August 2013, 07:16:44 pm
?Little head? thinking makes for big dick head behaviour!
What are the biggest examples you can think of?

I just had a text confirming a booking, followed by ?Can you answer the door naked??
My reply ?That is not worth losing my premises and livelihood over!?
Him ?Oh, sorry, I didn?t think.?

Have you got any examples of this type of (lack of) thought?
I had a booking like that. I told him I will answer the front door fully clothed. I will put him in the room and take money from him. I will return to the room naked that worked a treat.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 13 August 2013, 08:24:11 pm
I got a call from someone.
silly man:Can you meet me in the pub wearing that dress in your picture?
me: well, it's not a dress, it's a neglig?e so....
silly man: oh sorry
me: that's ok
silly man: so is that a no.

the pub he wanted to meet in was a harvester as well lol 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roseanna on 13 August 2013, 08:26:48 pm
Quote from: Francesca on 13 August 2013, 07:16:44 pm
?Little head? thinking makes for big dick head behaviour!

I think they are almost all prone to it.

I've come to the conclusion it can't be all that great being male. Maybe we just get to meet a minority, but their little head rules their lives so much, and they behave and talk so stupidly at times.

Got to be thankful for it in some ways I suppose, but I've had so many examples in the past couple of days. Too silly to repeat.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 13 August 2013, 10:56:57 pm
Quote from: Francesca on 13 August 2013, 07:16:44 pm
?Little head? thinking makes for big dick head behaviour!
What are the biggest examples you can think of?

I just had a text confirming a booking, followed by ?Can you answer the door naked??
My reply ?That is not worth losing my premises and livelihood over!?
Him ?Oh, sorry, I didn?t think.?

Have you got any examples of this type of (lack of) thought?

All the time, most guys in this business have constant lack of thought. Something simple like ignoring your entire profile and sending you a text for a booking, despite clear instructions. Not thinking that absolutely anyone can send a text message, that really you need to speak to the complete stranger your about to invite into your home to engage in those sort of services.

There is a guy in the Glasgow area who wants you to turn up at his hotel dressed like a slut (pvc with thigh high boot's, short skirt, boobs out, the lot) he wants to go out for a few drinks with your dressed like that and has made very clear he is not interested in anyone turning up at his hotel dressed normal then changing once they get to his room. He has plenty feedback so is genuine. I wont go into the services he requires but I'm sure you can imagine. So this guy has put no thought into the poor girl's reputation around town/being refused entry of the hotel/stared at in the street etc etc etc.

Guys assuming we all work 24/7 then start harassing you with calls and texts at 3.30am steaming drunk. I know some girls do work round the clock but for them to assume we all do really gets on my nerves.

I don't offer OWO so I get a lot of guys phoning me and turning up expecting it cause apparently "all escorts do it" so they have put no thought what so ever into the awkward/sometimes intimidating situation they are putting me in.

Guys asking me to send them face pictures to they're email address or to text them, not thinking that I would think hell no those pictures could end up anywhere I don't even know you.

I had one aggressive guy in Liverpool phone me and demand face pictures, when I said please respect my privacy, if my 150+ glowing feedback (at that time) isn't enough for you then I suggest you choose a girl who does show her face. His response was "how dare you expect us to pay you without seeing what were buying,  would you buy a pair of shoes without seeing them first" I said what a stupid thing to say as its hardly the same thing. A pair of shoes life isn't going to be ruined if it gets exposed as a prostitute. So he clearly didn't think it through either cause he was too arrogant and aggressively natured.

They are just thoughtless through and through, I'd be here all nite typing up different examples.

 :FF  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emilia on 14 August 2013, 03:00:28 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 13 August 2013, 10:56:57 pm
I don't offer OWO so I get a lot of guys phoning me and turning up expecting it cause apparently "all escorts do it" so they have put no thought what so ever into the awkward/sometimes intimidating situation they are putting me in.

I took a last minute booking yesterday, guy got to my hotel room and asked me what do's and don'ts were, I said didn't you read my profile? He muttered something about it crashing on his phone when he tried. I said no fingering or owo. He started at me for about 2 minutes - '..you don't do oral without?!' It's stated multiple times on my profile that he couldn't be bothered reading :( After some internal conflict he goes 'but it's one of my real big things...yenno it's a big thing for me', pushed me over the edge, why would I change my policies for this rude unpleasant little man! I snapped maybe you should go somewhere else then and actually read their profile or confirm over the phone if it's such a 'big thing' for you. Couldn't resist saying fucking twat as he walked out. /rant over hahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 14 August 2013, 11:14:06 am
I'm glad you understand where I'm coming from with this one. So many people think OWO is standard when its NOT so they turn up expecting it, I hate confrontation and conflict, its intimidating especially when your on your own in an apartment. Then there are the ones who ask you for OWO when your reaching for the condom to give them oral, when having to stop to tell them I don't do OWO and don't advertise it either aswell as having several rants about my reasons for not doing it on my profile, it makes it extremely awkward as you know that no matter what you do they are gonna be disappointed with you since they aren't getting what they expected. It ruins the atmosphere and for me its just a case of going through the motions and getting them out the door as quickly as possible, I just get it into my head "whats the point in making an effort for this idiot when he didn't even read my profile, nothing I do now is gonna make it any better for him" It is a horrible situation to be in. A lot of people think I am very strict about reading my profile but that's only cause I want to avoid these situations like the plague x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 14 August 2013, 01:25:16 pm
Got a text from a guy this morning at 5.45 saying "Are you available right now"

How delusional are these people? Yeah I am just sitting awake, ready and in my underwear 24/7 just waiting for your text!

Thing is guys expect to see the girl that's in the pictures on my profile, do they think I wake up looking like that?

I've also made it clear DO NOT TEXT ME and my working hours are the first thing written on my profile.

Why do I let these people really annoy me? I need to chill lol.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 14 August 2013, 04:13:01 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 14 August 2013, 01:25:16 pm
Got a text from a guy this morning at 5.45 saying "Are you available right now"

How delusional are these people? Yeah I am just sitting awake, ready and in my underwear 24/7 just waiting for your text!

Thing is guys expect to see the girl that's in the pictures on my profile, do they think I wake up looking like that?

I've also made it clear DO NOT TEXT ME and my working hours are the first thing written on my profile.

Why do I let these people really annoy me? I need to chill lol.

xx
I just can't agree more with everything you have said. This is exactly what I think and feel winding myself up by it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 14 August 2013, 06:26:11 pm
Quote from: KinkyVixen on 12 August 2013, 06:59:04 pm

8pm last night - "are you workign tonight"
ME = "depends how long you want and what time , ring me please "
8pm = "45 min but my PC off now , whats the rarte and what dotn you do "  ( notice he still texting and not rung as asked !!)
ME = "You need to ring me "
8pm = Have you got toys and can you do anal in a quickie
ME = " Please dont txt again , i dotn fo anal . I suggest you read my page properly before contacting me again , same goes for other ladies! "
8pm = " fuck you fuckn slag "
ME =  Your blocked , i wouldnt of seen you anyway as your attitude stinks , no reasearch, boundray pushing haggler and repeatedly texted when asked to ring

half hour later
8pm - " have u got any toys , ill pay extra for anal , im only small"

Like im going to see him after the abuse ......sick of these types of men . Wasters.




That's why, (with no exception), after I have asked them to ring I NEVER reply to another text. If they can't follow a simple instruction there is no point prolonging the timewasting agony. They are lucky I answered even a single text.

I don't reply to  - r u free?/Details?/available? etc. No point. Saves stress.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 14 August 2013, 09:40:58 pm
Quote from: Alisha on 08 August 2013, 07:43:32 pm
Quote from: MissKylie on 05 August 2013, 12:59:06 am
I also hate the 'Are you working' I know it's not meant to be offensive but it's like guys assume that I'm just sitting around waiting for bookings.

I don't even really do 'working days' as such and say on my profile that I work around appointments and preferably advance ones, so I much prefer 'Hello Kylie, I'd like to make an appointment please'

Good idea. Has it worked?
Has what worked? Yes my booking procedure works very well for me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Renee-Gaide on 14 August 2013, 11:05:50 pm
Ditto.
All of the above!

"Can you answer the door wrapped in parcel tape?"

"WTF?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 15 August 2013, 05:50:57 pm
"Can you turn up wearing a large vibrating butt plug? And please make sure you're discreet when you come to the front door"

Yes because having something sticking out my ass, that can clearly be seen under my dress, whilst making a loud buzzing noise and walking like John Wayne is really discreet. Not to mention that I'd have to be driven to the appointment whilst on my hands and knees on the back seat of the car as it's not possible to sit down with it in. Men just don't think
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 16 August 2013, 11:05:38 am
bigrab1991 sends the following........

Hey babe, you free today?
Really wanna see you, you look well fit.
Let me know
Is there anything you won't do?
Cheers

He is bi-sexual and has bareback etc etc etc on his profile and is 21. This is classic of what I try to avoid at all costs.

And for the record I have the smallest list of services ever on my profile  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SubCharlotte on 16 August 2013, 11:18:26 am
My friend text me saying "are u working" to my work phone, not thinking that I wouldnt have my friends saved. I  text back saying "no I'm not sorry and could you call I prefer to speak on the phone for initial contact" he rang me back very flustered... poor him !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 16 August 2013, 05:15:44 pm
Idiot "Are ur breasts al you own?"

Me "No half of them are my neighbours"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 16 August 2013, 05:33:43 pm
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 16 August 2013, 05:15:44 pm
Idiot "Are ur breasts al you own?"

Me "No half of them are my neighbours"

 ;D

It's like the guys who make sure that I'm 100% natural 'down there' (I am), only to then ask if I 'clip the edges' haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 16 August 2013, 09:56:53 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 15 August 2013, 05:50:57 pm
"Can you turn up wearing a large vibrating butt plug? And please make sure you're discreet when you come to the front door"

Yes because having something sticking out my ass, that can clearly be seen under my dress, whilst making a loud buzzing noise and walking like John Wayne is really discreet. Not to mention that I'd have to be driven to the appointment whilst on my hands and knees on the back seat of the car as it's not possible to sit down with it in. Men just don't think

Hahahahahaha I really LOLED with this one  ;D x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tess99 on 16 August 2013, 10:25:40 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 16 August 2013, 09:56:53 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 15 August 2013, 05:50:57 pm
"Can you turn up wearing a large vibrating butt plug? And please make sure you're discreet when you come to the front door"

Yes because having something sticking out my ass, that can clearly be seen under my dress, whilst making a loud buzzing noise and walking like John Wayne is really discreet. Not to mention that I'd have to be driven to the appointment whilst on my hands and knees on the back seat of the car as it's not possible to sit down with it in. Men just don't think

Hahahahahaha I really LOLED with this one  ;D x
same here, thanks for that. Awesome
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 17 August 2013, 12:08:28 pm
To be fair to this guy it is a REVERSE BOOKING so he hasn't bothered me with his ignorant, arrogant & intimidating ways personally but I thought I would post his RB for a laugh. I doubt he is genuine because he always has the same RB up, requires Skype chat with the girl first and wants to pay via bank transfer so clearly wants to know the girls REAL details. Scary thing is, he always has plenty of bids. If he is genuine he will not pay until after the booking is finished for newbies so really he should be avoided at all costs. Wouldn't be me I tell ya.....................

Please note this booking is seeking Unprotected services. Please do not bid or waste your time commenting if this is not something you offer. Please take the time to read everything before clicking 'bid'. This will save my time and yours.

I am looking for a submissive female escort for an overnight booking. The listed fee is the maximum I am prepared to pay for what I am describing below. I may be prepared to pay more for more extreme services, if you are interested in this then please say when bidding with an indication of what you are offering.

About you

* You should be a slim(ish, no larger than a UK 12) woman.
* I prefer busty women (preferrably enhanced) although I will consider anyone. I will also give preference to women in their thirties or older, although younger women should feel free to bid.
* You should speak fluent English. I will expect to speak to you on the phone or via Skype etc before confirming the booking
* You should be a non-smoker or at least willing to refrain while with me.
* You must provide me with (or have on your public profile) a clear facial picture and a clear full length body picture (preferrably nude).
* Your bid should provide a little detail about why you are interested and clearly confirm you are ok with unprotected. I will ignore blank bids.

My requirements

* Full porn star experience sex with anal. Everything unprotected.
* You should be submissive. Sex will be reasonably rough but I am not looking for anything heavy. Limits can be discussed and will be respected. Roleplay will also be required.
* Unlimited photography and filming for personal use (phone camera only). Copies can be provided and a waiver signed if required.
* You will be dressed as I require for a night on the town. Latex, leather and thighboots etc. I will also require you to travel to me dressed fairly slutty. This can be discussed depending on what you own and what's reasonable or achievable.

Payment - Please read this carefully. There will be no negotiation or discussion on these points.

* While I will accept bids from people with no ESCORT feedback there will be no deposit and payment will be at the end of the booking.
* For people with extensive recent ESCORT feedback I am prepared to book and pay for their travel in advance, pay a deposit of 250 and payment will be up front.
* For all other scenarios it can be discussed to varying degrees what deposit and/or up front payment I am prepared to consider. Don't waste my time or yours by bidding with statements like 'I have like 1 phone feedback so you will have to give me it all up front before I travel' (yes, this really happened once).
* Payment will be via electronic means. Direct bank transfer or Paypal.

Please note I can be flexible on the date of this booking. Feel free to mention when booking if another night (only Fridays and Saturdays, however) works better for you The booking will run from 7pm for at least 12 hours.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 17 August 2013, 12:18:34 pm
to me he sounds like he will be publishing his unlimited filming on the internet.... what a joke.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 17 August 2013, 12:27:13 pm
There's so many more wrong things about that reverse booking, I have known his RB's to be even more rude and crude and intimidating than this. I know there are lots of submissive women out there but really this is just abuse and so wrong on so many levels with the rough BB and anal BB etc etc etc, his attitude is shocking and I couldn't think of anything worse than spending 5 minutes in his company nevermind 12 hours minimum. As I say he always has plenty of bids so there are some people out there who are willing to go along with his requests. I think he's been reading too much 50 shades tbh. He's either a fantasist or a piss taker. Why wont he pay a newbie upfront? Is this incase they aren't experienced enough for him? So he can then turn round and say he isn't paying? Of course a newbie is gonna be inexperienced  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 17 August 2013, 12:47:56 pm
If people want to offer unprotected services, rough or otherwise, that's up to them and not for anyone else to judge - plenty of people offer bareback, OWO and all sorts of other things and I'm sure have no trouble getting punters to book them.

The only dodgy looking part of this as far as I can see is the lack of payment up front and especially the mention of Paypal; I'd be fairly sure that any unsuspecting lady falling for this would find herself suddenly potless with a chargeback email sitting in her inbox within the week.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 17 August 2013, 01:17:37 pm
Not judging them as a person for doing unprotected services such as BB and anal BB but the safety factor surely cannot be worth the money? But that's just my opinion. I know there's a high demand for these services but that's how horrible nasty diseases get spread as those client will most certainly be doing it with many other girls and the girls will be doing it with many other punters.

I think his whole attitude towards the booking is awful and I feel sorry for anyone who would put themselves in that situation. Is there anyone out there who would genuinely enjoy that? Probably but I cant get my head round it but that's just me.

To me everything about that RB is wrong but again that's just me, we all have different limits, standards, needs...the list goes on.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvygrace on 17 August 2013, 03:00:18 pm
the most common one is:

bloke - are you avail today?
me - yes, between 1pm and 5pm this afternoon
bloke - oh, no later then? i was after an 8oclock booking
me - sorry, about that, maybe another time
bloke - how about 5pm for an hour
me - no sorry, i can only work until 5pm
bloke - oh, so you cant do any later then?
me - no. call me another day perhaps?
bloke - how about 7pm?

.............. :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady c on 17 August 2013, 10:59:34 pm
last week an enquiry overnight 2pm till next day 2pm how much also dinner spa. Me 600 until am. His answer was double what I am quoted. ok I say bye.

Tonight a few days later a text, how about filming us deep throat sex, then me come on your face and in your mouth and then sex in shower, bath and maybe a blowjob in the steam room as well as anal and lots of sexy outfits all night 2pm till next day 2pm oh and I will lick u out and make ur eyes water I will make u gag on my dick, tongue kissing are u up for that 2 pm till 2pm next day hotel dinner spa.

My answer.. I am priceless..you won't be able to afford it. lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sassy Slapper on 18 August 2013, 11:34:33 am
Quote from: ~Amber~ on 03 September 2009, 07:41:03 pm
I thought I was doing so well this week with the odd emails but then I get this......


hi i have never met an escort before and am really shy - for the first time just wanted to meet for ten mins and lick ur ass and pussy and may be drink ur pee x

how much will this cost with and without the pee x

may after that i will be more comfortable for a longer meet x

Thats a lot to fit into 10 minutes. Doesn't seem that shy to me......just a chancer.

I think I have had this guy. Says he just wants to kiss and lick your ass for ten minutes and his wife wont let him do it. He booked a ten minute appointment at my half hour rate but as expected didnt confirm the next morning. He is wanking whilst on the phone I believe, very quiet so accomplished and well practised
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sassy Slapper on 18 August 2013, 11:38:34 am
I had a strange request.

The guy wanted to take me to dinner, order the same items from the menu for us both but I had to sit in silence and not eat anything whilst he would eat and chat away. He wanted to know if I could guarantee that I would be able to refrain from talking and eating whilst at the table with him.

I told him yes of course I would do this but should my legs start to ache then I would stand up, gobble up everything on the plate and chat loudly to him till the ache went, then I would sit down, be silent and eat nothing.

I received no booking via this man  8)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 20 August 2013, 12:39:36 am
Just got an email..........

(Him) Can I watch you do a pee and poo?
(Me) No you can not, I do not have watersports nor hardsports listed on my profile!!!!!!
(Him) Why not? Its the most natural thing in the world!
(Me) Peeing and pooing IS natural, people spectating isn't. Goodbye!!

What is wrong with some folk? Lol!

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tallgirl on 20 August 2013, 04:54:32 pm
I received this erudite collection of text messages today:

7am 'working 2day'
9.21am 'working 2day'
9.47am 'Ken making booking 2nite'
2.47pm 'working 2day'
2.38pm 'Ken making booking 2nite'
4.42pm 'Ken making booking 2nite'

 ??? And no, I'm not working tonight.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Francesca on 20 August 2013, 10:50:05 pm
Quote from: HeatherP on 20 August 2013, 04:54:32 pm
I received this erudite collection of text messages today:

7am 'working 2day'
9.21am 'working 2day'
9.47am 'Ken making booking 2nite'
2.47pm 'working 2day'
2.38pm 'Ken making booking 2nite'
4.42pm 'Ken making booking 2nite'

 ??? And no, I'm not working tonight.

I wish there were a red pen  and crossing out options for correcting text messages and returning them to the sender!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 21 August 2013, 09:03:05 am
Woke up this morning to a lovely email saying.........

Can you come to my house and ride me?

I don't do outcalls especially to private houses but if I did I would not be entertaining that lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouLou37 on 21 August 2013, 02:42:24 pm
Quote from: HeatherP on 20 August 2013, 04:54:32 pm
I received this erudite collection of text messages today:

7am 'working 2day'
9.21am 'working 2day'
9.47am 'Ken making booking 2nite'
2.47pm 'working 2day'
2.38pm 'Ken making booking 2nite'
4.42pm 'Ken making booking 2nite'

 ??? And no, I'm not working tonight.

I know exactly who you mean. He refuses point blank to ever call and DEMANDS your "full address in (my city) city centre" . I tell him to call when in the street, to which he texts I can't I am deaf. I text back OK don't worry, just text when you are in the street (I have security also can see out if they are actually there before giving door number etc). Yet he never turns up just keeps texting for the "full address and buzzer" , also texts "KEN MAKING BOOKING TONITE 8PM"

Same thing rinse and repeat for about a year now.

Strange.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 21 August 2013, 06:14:52 pm
email from Mr A.Fantasist:
(via aw)

'Hi there

A little bit of a long shot however from reading your add we thought we
would give it a go,

We (I) are looking for a sexy female (You?) to join in a very expensive
hotel from Thursday to Saturday this week (22nd ? 24th AUG).

Its my gf?s birthday and she has asked for to be spoils on one day for her
birthday and the second to be used like a dirty slut to push her
boundaries as well as make her just cum over and over.

If this is some thing you would like to help with and want to take part in
please do no hesitate to contact me dips

X'

key words 'very expensive hotel' and 'gf'  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 21 August 2013, 08:08:31 pm
Hahahaha I take it he was wodering if you would be interested in taking part for the fun of it without paying you? Or have I read it wrong? x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 21 August 2013, 08:57:18 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 21 August 2013, 08:08:31 pm
Hahahaha I take it he was wodering if you would be interested in taking part for the fun of it without paying you? Or have I read it wrong? x

True he doesn't mention a figure (hadn't even thought of the idea that he might be asking me to do it for free!!) ....but I think it's more that it is pure brainfart material, would place bets on that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 22 August 2013, 07:22:01 pm
Just had the following slightly odd series of messages from the same guy:

wannabe pimp: Hello sweetheart I hope you don't mind me texting you, my name is Ian I help run the penthouse in [local shopping centre]
I have a two bed apartmentand at the moment we are only using one of the rooms
If you were interested I would let you use the room with your own clients on a daily basis on and off
For ?60 per day with use of everything
Hope you are well and you are having a wonderful day :-) ps I think I saw you in tesco Tuesday morning xx
me: told him I wasn't interested and can sort out my own accommodation (didn't touch the creepy stalker part)
wannabe pimp: Noo please don't be sorry it's ok xx it was just a thought to help you out and the girl that there wasn't working alone xx
A few minutes later...
wannabe pimp: I would like to book you soon but you would need to pretend you where my friend as I live in my parents house lol xx not to far from you
Would that be ok ?

So apparently the wannabe pimp stalker running some sort of penthouse brothel still lives with his parents, blocked!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tallgirl on 22 August 2013, 09:50:16 pm
Quote from: LouLou37 on 21 August 2013, 02:42:24 pm
Quote from: HeatherP on 20 August 2013, 04:54:32 pm
I received this erudite collection of text messages today:

7am 'working 2day'
9.21am 'working 2day'
9.47am 'Ken making booking 2nite'
2.47pm 'working 2day'
2.38pm 'Ken making booking 2nite'
4.42pm 'Ken making booking 2nite'

 ??? And no, I'm not working tonight.

I know exactly who you mean. He refuses point blank to ever call and DEMANDS your "full address in (my city) city centre" . I tell him to call when in the street, to which he texts I can't I am deaf. I text back OK don't worry, just text when you are in the street (I have security also can see out if they are actually there before giving door number etc). Yet he never turns up just keeps texting for the "full address and buzzer" , also texts "KEN MAKING BOOKING TONITE 8PM"

Same thing rinse and repeat for about a year now.

Strange.

I'd never heard from him before and it didn't cross my mind to reply, so hopefully he'll get bored and crawl back under his rock  ;D

He also asked, 'Where ur full address in Glasgow City ?' - I've never worked in Glasgow  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 22 August 2013, 10:35:05 pm

Hope all is well? I found your ad on xxx site. I would like to know if you would be available to realize a fantasy with me today, having sex in the office.

I imagine, in a discreet with alluring bra under, up the elevator and knock on the door of my office to meet me for a job interview. Enticing to perfection, I'm sure you'll find a way to distract me during the interview;-)

Interested?

I work in an office in downtown and I'd would like to realize this fantasy this afternoon because I'm alone in the office.

Tender greetings,

PS The greatest discretion of each, is very important.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 23 August 2013, 12:46:42 am
Just got a phone call (Its well out of my working hours but I'm still up watching a movie) so I pressed cancel button then received a text saying.

You avail now? I've got money and plenty charlie.

Not only has he ignored my profile (my working hours are the first thing written) but assumed I am up working or just waiting for his call at this time of nite and assumes that cause I am an escort I am into drugs aswell (which I am not)

 ::)  ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 23 August 2013, 09:13:43 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 23 August 2013, 12:46:42 am
Just got a phone call (Its well out of my working hours but I'm still up watching a movie) so I pressed cancel button then received a text saying.

You avail now? I've got money and plenty charlie.

Not only has he ignored my profile (my working hours are the first thing written) but assumed I am up working or just waiting for his call at this time of nite and assumes that cause I am an escort I am into drugs aswell (which I am not)

 ::)  ::)


Yes that one does the rounds a fair bit in Scotland.  eejit !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 23 August 2013, 11:12:39 am
I had the same thing happen about 3 weeks ago but it was a different number. Not sure if its the same person or not x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Chanel xxx on 23 August 2013, 12:37:37 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 22 August 2013, 07:22:01 pm
Just had the following slightly odd series of messages from the same guy:

wannabe pimp: Hello sweetheart I hope you don't mind me texting you, my name is Ian I help run the penthouse in [local shopping centre]
I have a two bed apartmentand at the moment we are only using one of the rooms
If you were interested I would let you use the room with your own clients on a daily basis on and off
For ?60 per day with use of everything
Hope you are well and you are having a wonderful day :-) ps I think I saw you in tesco Tuesday morning xx
me: told him I wasn't interested and can sort out my own accommodation (didn't touch the creepy stalker part)
wannabe pimp: Noo please don't be sorry it's ok xx it was just a thought to help you out and the girl that there wasn't working alone xx
A few minutes later...
wannabe pimp: I would like to book you soon but you would need to pretend you where my friend as I live in my parents house lol xx not to far from you
Would that be ok ?

So apparently the wannabe pimp stalker running some sort of penthouse brothel still lives with his parents, blocked!

Yuck what a creep! Good thing you didnt comment on the little remarks he made about seeing you around and living not too far away from you  :-X.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 23 August 2013, 08:31:32 pm
Guy just phones me up and say's..........You doing any deals on oral?

I charge by the hour not services but if I did charge by the service I wouldn't be doing deals on it, prick!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 23 August 2013, 10:38:38 pm
Hi What about meeting at 12.30pm today then please?
I am free right now...please replay If I can see you now..thanks. Sam
??

I can't meet before 3pm

I am only available now..I can come to you in 5 mins...please...
OK..4.30pm...where??
??
So??
4.30pm??

I can meet then but I take bookings via call not text

Can I come to you now?Where??

I'll be free to meet around 5.30pm
Moreover I don't take bookings through text

I am only free now...please...

I take bookings via call not text

I just want to knowIf I can come now...

I text you that I will be free around 5.30pm means not now

I just want to know If ok....

No more texts they will be ignored

Any chance now please....

Your nr is blocked BYE

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 24 August 2013, 01:50:59 am
Lol you gotta wonder what goes on in these morons heads huh?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 24 August 2013, 05:02:11 pm
Just got a text from a guy ON MY DAY OFF saying........

Hi I read your profile and I'd like half an hour trouble is your pictures don't give a lot away (I only show parts of my face) and I've already been disappointed today. Is ?80 ok? I'll come along now.

I'm ?100 for a half hour and I have 230+ glowing positive feedback (not one bad one) and loads of glowing field reports. I do blank out most of my face but I have different pics that show different parts of my face.

So what more do these chancing morons want?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RVRiley on 24 August 2013, 05:45:25 pm
"Hi I saw your ad and I'm really interested. I'm in uni and a virgin, fed up of my friends taking the mick out of me. What's the lowest amount you'd take for a blow job?"
I politely replied I charge by the half hour, thinking right, lets just gently nudge him as it's been a slow week.
"Oh. Can I get some discount because I'm a student and I'm skint? I don't need half an hour."
Why, oh why did I bother replying!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 24 August 2013, 07:18:16 pm
Quote from: KinkyVixen on 20 May 2013, 01:17:17 am
Well heya, how you doing? Having a good week? I hope you don't mind the message. I really liked your profile and had to drop you a line.
I'm also in the adult industry (run my own adult website). Unlike most guys, I'm not looking for ANYTHING sexual on here. I'm looking for a decent women for a loving, meaningful relationship, who, like me, is in the adult industry. It's so much better to date someone like minded, so there are no secrets, open and honesty from the start and not be judged for what you like or do.
I wouldn't have a problem with you camming or escorting, I think it's great and a bonus for me, cause I love my partner having other guys sexually and I encourage it. I'm not jealous in the slightest, nor am I controlling, clingy or possessive. I believe everyone should have their own space and independence too in a relationship.
I got pics on my profile here, have a look and see what you think. Also more info about me :-).
I'd love to get to know you better, can't hurt can it.
Hope to speak soon,
Scott x
And I thought it was going to be so special with me & Scott. When today, I got an identical message.
I even replied.  ;D
Hi Scott. That  sounds brill. I just know we are really going to get on so well.
You remind me of every boyfriend I've ever had. All just like you with the noticeable exception:
None of them trawl Adultwork looking to meet prozzies for dates / relationships.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 24 August 2013, 08:59:38 pm
Scott replied!
Quote
"You completely lost me"
You are shit out of luck!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 24 August 2013, 09:04:51 pm
OMG Jodie LOL  ;D x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 25 August 2013, 03:28:04 pm
Hello my name is Calvin Raymond and I'm being escort for a number of years. recently I have a a lot of requested for, my clients to see a black man with a sexy white lady. I was wondering if you interested in making movie/film clips for our profile both to us. I wont film your face if you do NOT want to. I will be coming to Glasgow on the 27th September -29th September 2013 for a tour so we can do around that time. Thank you and I hope to hear from you... By the way, Im a nice guy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 25 August 2013, 04:18:27 pm
Quote
"... By the way, Im a nice guy."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Yes love, if you say so! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 25 August 2013, 04:41:34 pm
Lol he's a straight guy so you gotta wonder if there's much market for that especially when it comes to touring as he'd have to make back his expenses and make a profit for it to be worth his while. Then again I know nothing as I aint a single, black, male escort so don't really know if there is a market or not for that so I am thinking he just wants free sex.

I emailed back saying. "Sorry I don't give out free shags and I really don't need to see another cock or have any more sex than what I am having. I do not have any naked pics or video's on my profile, there is a reason for that. I don't like it. (By the way I am not against anyone else having them, Its just not for me and with me offering vanilla services only I think naked pics and fuck video's sends out the wrong message and confuses people)

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: loulou001 on 25 August 2013, 07:09:01 pm
hi guys, new to this forum and escorting in general (first post, woop woop!)

met a guy last week and was very nice, but wanted to meet for a dinner date, he was persistent and he was a little controlling (fine in the bedroom mind, just not talking normal!) and me being naive i said yes. the meet was for today, i have been reading this thread and i now realize how stupid a thing that is, he was also asking about me and was getting worried if i hadn't texted (stalker type) thank you so much for being so great on here and showing me the light!!

i said to him:-

[stalker dude], something has come up, and i wont be able to make it tonight. im sorry, im also thinking it may not be the best thing us meeting outside of work as i am not looking for a relationship and want to carry on with my job.

he text back saying:-

ok very dissapointing and not sure its the right decision .. But have to respect that... shame as i really like you a lot x


these guys have to realize that its not an ordinary first date we go on, it was a business exchange, and you cant get too emotionally attached!

i will not be making the same mistake twice.

live and learn right??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 25 August 2013, 10:34:43 pm
I'm a little confused. Did he want to take you to dinner as a date or was he paying for your time? If he was looking for free time it looks like he's taking advantage of a newbie. You gotta watch out for these guy's. The forum will open your eye's to a lot of the goings on and also the fast ones some of them try to pull. I'm glad you realised before it was too late on this occasion. Welcome to the forum  :) xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 25 August 2013, 11:06:53 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 24 August 2013, 07:18:16 pm
Quote from: KinkyVixen on 20 May 2013, 01:17:17 am
Well heya, how you doing? Having a good week? I hope you don't mind the message. I really liked your profile and had to drop you a line.
I'm also in the adult industry (run my own adult website). Unlike most guys, I'm not looking for ANYTHING sexual on here. I'm looking for a decent women for a loving, meaningful relationship, who, like me, is in the adult industry. It's so much better to date someone like minded, so there are no secrets, open and honesty from the start and not be judged for what you like or do.
I wouldn't have a problem with you camming or escorting, I think it's great and a bonus for me, cause I love my partner having other guys sexually and I encourage it. I'm not jealous in the slightest, nor am I controlling, clingy or possessive. I believe everyone should have their own space and independence too in a relationship.

I got pics on my profile here, have a look and see what you think. Also more info about me :-).

I'd love to get to know you better, can't hurt can it.

Hope to speak soon,
Scott x
And I thought it was going to be so special with me & Scott. When today, I got an identical message.
I even replied.  ;D
Hi Scott.
That  sounds brill.
I just know we are really going to get on so well.
You remind me of Mr Jodie. He is just like you with the noticeable exception:
He doesn't trawl Adultwork looking to meet prozzies for dates / relationships.
(As far as I know, he doesn't)   

If I am wrong and you actually are my Mr Jodie,
please disregard the above, and let me use this opportunity
to say how much I love you. They say love conquers all
and it must be true because before we got together, five years ago
you never considered having a relationship with an Escort.
Indeed it was on your list of people you would never date, {along with smokers}
And I never dated a man previously.
Yes I'm bi. But every previous relationship was with a woman.

And I know that I am a challenge, not coz of the escorting
and maybe nothing to do with being Ts either. Though I think that plays a part.
But you make everything feel right, and the world hurt a little less.
They say that when you meet 'The one', that nothing else matters.
And that is how it feels for me. And I know you think that too.
Hurry home.
I love you. xxx
I just told him to fuck off and join a dating website and what the hell was actually the matter with him! Much more straight and to the point!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 26 August 2013, 02:02:59 am
Scott should join Match.com or suchlike.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 26 August 2013, 02:26:55 am
Quote from: JodieTs on 26 August 2013, 02:02:59 am
Yep that works too. (Mr Jodie said I should tell him to join Match.com or suchlike)
But, well...I find these types of enquiries so much of a temptation to play with.
And it was a quiet day.
These retards probably wouldn't even be able to understand your witty and well thought out posts unfortunately Jodie. They may actually think you are being serious lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CaraMxx on 26 August 2013, 05:54:05 am
This just in because obviously I work for free on an escort site  ::) ::)...



Have you ever wanted to be dominant outside of paid escort/webcam bookings... talking about the real deal on a personal level? Would you be interested in me getting humiliating photo tasks off you, which i then go and complete, come back and give to you, so you can then give the degrading evaluation of them and laugh at me?

p.s. By photo tasks i mean you set me tasks and i go and do them... a chance to unleash your sadistic side and laugh at a loser who is desperate to please you be belittling himself and doing pathetic things. Don't get me wrong though, i'll only enjoy that if you love the idea too, its no thrill for me if you're just pretending for my benefit, so be honest :p

The idea is we get to know eachother a bit with me a sort of constant presence on the outskirts of your life providing amusement for you when and how you see fit, no requests or demands on my part. Plus when you don't feel dominant i'd also be a friendly ear to chat to with not a hint of horniness or subness.
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 26 August 2013, 12:43:50 pm
Quote from: CaraMxx on 26 August 2013, 05:54:05 am
This just in because obviously I work for free on an escort site  ::) ::)...



Have you ever wanted to be dominant outside of paid escort/webcam bookings... talking about the real deal on a personal level? Would you be interested in me getting humiliating photo tasks off you, which i then go and complete, come back and give to you, so you can then give the degrading evaluation of them and laugh at me?

p.s. By photo tasks i mean you set me tasks and i go and do them... a chance to unleash your sadistic side and laugh at a loser who is desperate to please you be belittling himself and doing pathetic things. Don't get me wrong though, i'll only enjoy that if you love the idea too, its no thrill for me if you're just pretending for my benefit, so be honest :p

The idea is we get to know eachother a bit with me a sort of constant presence on the outskirts of your life providing amusement for you when and how you see fit, no requests or demands on my part. Plus when you don't feel dominant i'd also be a friendly ear to chat to with not a hint of horniness or subness.

Oh ffs, delusional. He'll have a CONSTANT presence in your life????? Lucky you lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 26 August 2013, 12:53:23 pm
Guy just phones me up with the worst phone manner ever and says.........

Him - You available?
Me - The earliest I have available is 4pm
Him - Cool i'll phone you at 4
Me - I said no please don't, it doesn't work like that.
Him - How does it work then?
Me - Its all on my profile along with my list of services assuming you haven't read it at all.
Him - I don't want to read a story

I hang up then he texts saying........

Him - Am not in2 fresky sex
Me - I never said you were but if you haven't read my profile I can almost guarantee you will turn up expecting things I don't do.
Him - I've met you before
Me - I doubt it, I wouldn't give an appointment to someone who gives me a bad vibe like this and also if I'd met you, you'd know my very simple booking procedure.
Him - haha
Him - I'm fuckd n d head
Him - I'm noising u up

I stopped replying to this retard, he's since stopped texting me thankfully.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 26 August 2013, 04:49:36 pm
This is just a copy and pasted reverse booking but I thought the start was funny as its not really the way you would start something off if your looking for a service, IMO its cheeky and arrogant. Then the end of his RB makes me think he's just looking for some free wank material to be emailed to him. He has plenty of bids though so obviously he appeals to some people. Each to they're own huh  ::) ........

Right it makes me laugh that women on here can say men are time-wasters I would say the vast majority of women on here are too with only a handful of honest providers.

So I'm not looking for sex, just 30 mins of being demeaned, treated like trash, a gimp whatever...

But all you must force me to do....

Be sick... I don't care if your on your period make me eat it!.... Arrive full of cum for me to eat if u dare... Piss on me, spit, fart, pick things and make me clean....

Email me with a proper msg if truly interested or I shall assume your one of the majority of time wasters and just delete your bid xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ScarletWoman on 26 August 2013, 05:22:54 pm
Answerphone message. Slightly special sounding guy talking very slowly with a lisp:

"um, hello. It's my first time booking with a prostitute, or a hoe, or whatever you like to be called. I'm just on the Internet looking at your pictures and they're very...I just...ohhhh, ohhhh, ohhhh, ohhhhh, argggggghh.
(pause)
Oh no, no, that's disgusting. disgusting.
(tone changes to very polite)
I'm sorry for wasting your time."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 02 September 2013, 09:21:50 pm
GRRRRR  >:(

via a 'blank' adult works profile a spam message touting for an escort agency..... I get enough of the various webdevelopers/photographers/shared content crap... but this looked like it had been set up purely for the purpose of spamming.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roxy666 on 03 September 2013, 05:54:31 pm
Quote from: Fallingstar on 13 November 2009, 09:00:19 am
Sorry to resurrect an older thread but i just cant help myself.

Im laid up in the house at the moment with bad dose of flu :( Ive left a message on my work phone (which is switched off) saying that i am currently ill and not taking any bookings. Considering my voice is that sore i sound like ive had a sex change i dont think anyone could question my sincerity.

So i checked my voicemails last night.
1st message-'Hi i know your ill but i wasent looking for a booking today,im planning to see you next week. I was just wanting to have a chat about what it is that booking an escort involves and what services you offer (groan). Im looking for a massage with HR and was wondering what the price would be for that (groan groan and double groan). Could you ring me back please as soon as you get this message'

Yes i would be delighted to ring you when im feeling like death to answer you inane questions you muppet!

2nd Message-'Hi im looking to make an appointment. Can you tell me when you will be better please?'

Certainly,i will just get my crystal ball out and check to see when i will be fighting fit again >:(


PAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!! i know this is 4 years old, but i am right there with you!!  ;D

i have really bad lurgy, sound like im going to hack up my intire set of internal organs when i get going!

i have on my AW profile status that i am unobtainable due to being unwell and it is constant messages like these idiots!! lol  ::)

"Hi
Do you think you would be available on Monday or Tuesday next week?" - errrrm...... ??? let me just pop into the toilet system and ask squishy my cat what the future holds!! lol  ;)

"When are you back working?
I need my balls kicked with your hot feet"

"hi when you back to work?"      i feel like replying to the last 2, "how long is a peice of string? YOU FUCK TARD!"  :FF

"Hi, can I wank over your ass?"

though this last one is the best and makes me chuckle imagining the image of some random guy wanking over my ass whilst i blow snot bubbles and hock up flem balls after a 5 minute coughing fit, PMSL!! mmmmmmm, such a turn on! lol xox



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 03 September 2013, 06:13:22 pm
I used to get all those when i broke my leg. It was stated on my profile that I had broken it and that was why I wasn't working but still got loads of 'when can i see you' emails.

I even got one asking for a booking that day, saying 'I don't mind that you have a broken leg'! :FF I dont give a toss what you mind, I certainly do!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 03 September 2013, 08:48:32 pm
I can't see the problem with this, it's an obvious question. If you were a customer of a business which was temporarily closed, or  you might ask someone when they will be available to do whatever job you have lined up for them.

Sure when you are ill it can feel like everyone is harassing you. I once had someone ask if I could 'just' give them a blow job - I had tonsilitis at the time, and had communicated this to them. Anyone who's had the affliction knows the very last thing you can do in that state is give a blowie!

If there's something out of my control affecting availability I get to a point where I say just assume I'm like this permanently. Turning the phone off and keeping it off is a good idea when ill, I know it's a temptation but it helps not to know what you are missing, and you need your own break. I've tried being 'helpful' when not available or on holday to have guys then get into a text exchange asking me if I have the details of anyone else they could see, can I tell them willl she do this, do that. I find just either ignoring and not getting drawn in or point at a directory is the best thing to do.
Quote from: roxy666 on 03 September 2013, 05:54:31 pm
Quote from: Fallingstar on 13 November 2009, 09:00:19 am
Sorry to resurrect an older thread but i just cant help myself.

Im laid up in the house at the moment with bad dose of flu :( Ive left a message on my work phone (which is switched off) saying that i am currently ill and not taking any bookings. Considering my voice is that sore i sound like ive had a sex change i dont think anyone could question my sincerity.

So i checked my voicemails last night.
1st message-'Hi i know your ill but i wasent looking for a booking today,im planning to see you next week. I was just wanting to have a chat about what it is that booking an escort involves and what services you offer (groan). Im looking for a massage with HR and was wondering what the price would be for that (groan groan and double groan). Could you ring me back please as soon as you get this message'

Yes i would be delighted to ring you when im feeling like death to answer you inane questions you muppet!

2nd Message-'Hi im looking to make an appointment. Can you tell me when you will be better please?'

Certainly,i will just get my crystal ball out and check to see when i will be fighting fit again >:(


PAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!! i know this is 4 years old, but i am right there with you!!  ;D

i have really bad lurgy, sound like im going to hack up my intire set of internal organs when i get going!

i have on my AW profile status that i am unobtainable due to being unwell and it is constant messages like these idiots!! lol  ::)

"Hi
Do you think you would be available on Monday or Tuesday next week?" - errrrm...... ??? let me just pop into the toilet system and ask squishy my cat what the future holds!! lol  ;)

"When are you back working?
I need my balls kicked with your hot feet"

"hi when you back to work?"      i feel like replying to the last 2, "how long is a peice of string? YOU FUCK TARD!"  :FF

"Hi, can I wank over your ass?"

though this last one is the best and makes me chuckle imagining the image of some random guy wanking over my ass whilst i blow snot bubbles and hock up flem balls after a 5 minute coughing fit, PMSL!! mmmmmmm, such a turn on! lol xox
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 03 September 2013, 09:52:39 pm
Quote from: Strawberry on 03 September 2013, 08:48:32 pm
I can't see the problem with this, it's an obvious question. If you were a customer of a business which was temporarily closed, or  you might ask someone when they will be available to do whatever job you have lined up for them.

Sure when you are ill it can feel like everyone is harassing you. I once had someone ask if I could 'just' give them a blow job - I had tonsilitis at the time, and had communicated this to them. Anyone who's had the affliction knows the very last thing you can do in that state is give a blowie!

If there's something out of my control affecting availability I get to a point where I say just assume I'm like this permanently. Turning the phone off and keeping it off is a good idea when ill, I know it's a temptation but it helps not to know what you are missing, and you need your own break. I've tried being 'helpful' when not available or on holday to have guys then get into a text exchange asking me if I have the details of anyone else they could see, can I tell them willl she do this, do that. I find just either ignoring and not getting drawn in or point at a directory is the best thing to do.
Quote from: roxy666 on 03 September 2013, 05:54:31 pm
Quote from: Fallingstar on 13 November 2009, 09:00:19 am
Sorry to resurrect an older thread but i just cant help myself.

Im laid up in the house at the moment with bad dose of flu :( Ive left a message on my work phone (which is switched off) saying that i am currently ill and not taking any bookings. Considering my voice is that sore i sound like ive had a sex change i dont think anyone could question my sincerity.

So i checked my voicemails last night.
1st message-'Hi i know your ill but i wasent looking for a booking today,im planning to see you next week. I was just wanting to have a chat about what it is that booking an escort involves and what services you offer (groan). Im looking for a massage with HR and was wondering what the price would be for that (groan groan and double groan). Could you ring me back please as soon as you get this message'

Yes i would be delighted to ring you when im feeling like death to answer you inane questions you muppet!

2nd Message-'Hi im looking to make an appointment. Can you tell me when you will be better please?'

Certainly,i will just get my crystal ball out and check to see when i will be fighting fit again >:(


PAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!! i know this is 4 years old, but i am right there with you!!  ;D

i have really bad lurgy, sound like im going to hack up my intire set of internal organs when i get going!

i have on my AW profile status that i am unobtainable due to being unwell and it is constant messages like these idiots!! lol  ::)

"Hi
Do you think you would be available on Monday or Tuesday next week?" - errrrm...... ??? let me just pop into the toilet system and ask squishy my cat what the future holds!! lol  ;)

"When are you back working?
I need my balls kicked with your hot feet"

"hi when you back to work?"      i feel like replying to the last 2, "how long is a peice of string? YOU FUCK TARD!"  :FF

"Hi, can I wank over your ass?"

though this last one is the best and makes me chuckle imagining the image of some random guy wanking over my ass whilst i blow snot bubbles and hock up flem balls after a 5 minute coughing fit, PMSL!! mmmmmmm, such a turn on! lol xox

I think the point they were making chick is that they don't know when they are going to be feeling better as illnesses just need to tun they're course however long it takes as well as the fact it is irritating dealing with these numpty's when your not feeling well. Also I think that putting aside the question of "when will you be better" you just get a vibe that they aren't the sort youd want to meet with anyway.

For example I just had someone phone me for a booking tonight (I am finished for the day and my working hours are the first thing written on my profile) but rather than tell the guy "no sorry I am finished for the evening" I hung up and blocked his number because I can just tell he's not the type I would ever want to meet with despite the fact he never said or did anything that bad. Hope that makes sense lol, I'm crap at explaining things sometimes.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 03 September 2013, 09:55:03 pm
I had someone text me at 1.30am this morning asking...... "R U OPEN"

Fucking TWAT!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 04 September 2013, 09:00:55 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 03 September 2013, 09:52:39 pm
Quote from: Strawberry on 03 September 2013, 08:48:32 pm
I can't see the problem with this, it's an obvious question. If you were a customer of a business which was temporarily closed, or  you might ask someone when they will be available to do whatever job you have lined up for them.

Sure when you are ill it can feel like everyone is harassing you. I once had someone ask if I could 'just' give them a blow job - I had tonsilitis at the time, and had communicated this to them. Anyone who's had the affliction knows the very last thing you can do in that state is give a blowie!

If there's something out of my control affecting availability I get to a point where I say just assume I'm like this permanently. Turning the phone off and keeping it off is a good idea when ill, I know it's a temptation but it helps not to know what you are missing, and you need your own break. I've tried being 'helpful' when not available or on holday to have guys then get into a text exchange asking me if I have the details of anyone else they could see, can I tell them willl she do this, do that. I find just either ignoring and not getting drawn in or point at a directory is the best thing to do.
Quote from: roxy666 on 03 September 2013, 05:54:31 pm
Quote from: Fallingstar on 13 November 2009, 09:00:19 am
Sorry to resurrect an older thread but i just cant help myself.

Im laid up in the house at the moment with bad dose of flu :( Ive left a message on my work phone (which is switched off) saying that i am currently ill and not taking any bookings. Considering my voice is that sore i sound like ive had a sex change i dont think anyone could question my sincerity.

So i checked my voicemails last night.
1st message-'Hi i know your ill but i wasent looking for a booking today,im planning to see you next week. I was just wanting to have a chat about what it is that booking an escort involves and what services you offer (groan). Im looking for a massage with HR and was wondering what the price would be for that (groan groan and double groan). Could you ring me back please as soon as you get this message'

Yes i would be delighted to ring you when im feeling like death to answer you inane questions you muppet!

2nd Message-'Hi im looking to make an appointment. Can you tell me when you will be better please?'

Certainly,i will just get my crystal ball out and check to see when i will be fighting fit again >:(


PAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!! i know this is 4 years old, but i am right there with you!!  ;D

i have really bad lurgy, sound like im going to hack up my intire set of internal organs when i get going!

i have on my AW profile status that i am unobtainable due to being unwell and it is constant messages like these idiots!! lol  ::)

"Hi
Do you think you would be available on Monday or Tuesday next week?" - errrrm...... ??? let me just pop into the toilet system and ask squishy my cat what the future holds!! lol  ;)

"When are you back working?
I need my balls kicked with your hot feet"

"hi when you back to work?"      i feel like replying to the last 2, "how long is a peice of string? YOU FUCK TARD!"  :FF

"Hi, can I wank over your ass?"

though this last one is the best and makes me chuckle imagining the image of some random guy wanking over my ass whilst i blow snot bubbles and hock up flem balls after a 5 minute coughing fit, PMSL!! mmmmmmm, such a turn on! lol xox

I think the point they were making chick is that they don't know when they are going to be feeling better as illnesses just need to tun they're course however long it takes as well as the fact it is irritating dealing with these numpty's when your not feeling well. Also I think that putting aside the question of "when will you be better" you just get a vibe that they aren't the sort youd want to meet with anyway.

For example I just had someone phone me for a booking tonight (I am finished for the day and my working hours are the first thing written on my profile) but rather than tell the guy "no sorry I am finished for the evening" I hung up and blocked his number because I can just tell he's not the type I would ever want to meet with despite the fact he never said or did anything that bad. Hope that makes sense lol, I'm crap at explaining things sometimes.

xx

I'm wondering do you advertise soley on Adultwork?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roxy666 on 04 September 2013, 09:33:22 am
yes like pink princess said, the point is they are asking a question no one has the answer to, so its a pointless and stupid question. i have no idea when i will be back to work, i hope soon as i am very bored and i miss working! (strange, the only job i have ever had that i miss working when away)

as for guys asking questions that are answered on my profile, i get this ALL the time, its extremely irritating, but i always check their profile to see if they are new, but as i live in a town not a city, i dont want to turn work away, so i always reply politely and just swear obsenities at my laptop, lol.

but i was under no illusion when starting this work that the majority of men will only look at your pictures, feedback and rates. only a few like to be thourough and take the time to read your whole profile, which is why i keep it short and sweet, straight to the point and only have 2 points in the Q&As section.
one being about the fact i do not give out my number untill a booking has been agreed and booked through the system, and yet i still get assholes asking for a number in the first message they send me  :FF
the next annoyance being when they just make a booking with no contact. the first thing i say on my profile is to please contact me first so to avoid dissapointment. i could be busy or away. ive had guys do this when i was visiting my mum for a week, so didnt realise i had got back a missed booking (which my status also stated i was away till such and such date) fucking dumb ass'!!!

but must remember to breath and stay polite! i just try to avoid emailing men back before i have had my morning coffee and fag so as not to rip their heads off and shit down their necks!!! (no, i am not a morning person, hahaha) xox
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ami on 04 September 2013, 09:52:50 am
Morning lovely ladies! I opened my inbox to this beauty today :-) Hope you enjoy your wednesdays!    ::)



I know you work as an escort and have a busy time, but I just need some help from you so kindly if you can spare some time to help.
Till now I have seen two different women for 30 min each. They were road-side girls. So after the penetrative sex, I asked them as to how it felt during the penetration. He first said she felt nothing while the other said she got 30% of the pleasure than she normally receives from penetration from other clients. Since then I have been trying to learn but I am still not clear so thought to ask you for help as you have a vast experience and can help me understand and learn about sex and about myself.
I?ve read on the internet that during penetration, the women gets pleasure mainly due to three things.

1. When the cock rubs against her vaginal walls which cause her pleasure.
2. When the penis touches her spots like A-spot and G-spot.
3. And when the man cums inside her vagina, the feeling of ejection also gives pleasure to her as she can feel the cum being ejected inside her.

As you can see from my penis pictures inside my profile that my penis is fat and of nice girth. So can you help me understand why the women won?t feel much pleasure from it? It can cause same rubbing as any other cock so why those two women said they dint enjoyed penetration? As you are a women and an experienced one, can you please explain me this. Well if you were doing my penis, will you not feel it rubbing against vaginal walls and providing stimulations?? Or was it that their vaginal walls were not that sensitive and thus did not felt much?? Please can you give me your expert views.
Secondly you may also see my full cum load picture in my profile, so why is it that they did not felt me cum inside them? Because once I cummed and I told her that I have cummed. She said ? aw have you?? and then she took my condom off and squeezed the condom and then said ? aw yeah you have, there is it???so why is it that on both instances they did not felt he cum??
I hope you are friendly enough to help me and honest person so to educate me properly as I really like to know the reality and like to know your views about me.
Thanks again and hope you understand my curiosity
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ami on 04 September 2013, 09:54:39 am
I've actually send something quite nice back, in case it really is real....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 04 September 2013, 09:55:57 am
Woke up to this this morning............

Hi. WOW you have nice big boobs....are they real?? Anyways, My name is Henry, and I?m a student in Hull University.

I know you work as an escort and have a busy time, but I just need some help from you so kindly if you can spare some time to help.
Till now I have seen two different women for 30 min each. They were road-side girls. So after the penetrative sex, I asked them as to how it felt during the penetration. He first said she felt nothing while the other said she got 30% of the pleasure than she normally receives from penetration from other clients. Since then I have been trying to learn but I am still not clear so thought to ask you for help as you have a vast experience and can help me understand and learn about sex and about myself.
I?ve read on the internet that during penetration, the women gets pleasure mainly due to three things.

1. When the cock rubs against her vaginal walls which cause her pleasure.
2. When the penis touches her spots like A-spot and G-spot.
3. And when the man cums inside her vagina, the feeling of ejection also gives pleasure to her as she can feel the cum being ejected inside her.

As you can see from my penis pictures inside my profile that my penis is fat and of nice girth. So can you help me understand why the women won?t feel much pleasure from it? It can cause same rubbing as any other cock so why those two women said they dint enjoyed penetration? As you are a women and an experienced one, can you please explain me this. Well if you were doing my penis, will you not feel it rubbing against vaginal walls and providing stimulations?? Or was it that their vaginal walls were not that sensitive and thus did not felt much?? Please can you give me your expert views.
Secondly you may also see my full cum load picture in my profile, so why is it that they did not felt me cum inside them? Because once I cummed and I told her that I have cummed. She said ? aw have you?? and then she took my condom off and squeezed the condom and then said ? aw yeah you have, there is it???so why is it that on both instances they did not felt he cum??
I hope you are friendly enough to help me and honest person so to educate me properly as I really like to know the reality and like to know your views about me.
Thanks again and hope you understand my curiosity

THE COCK PICTURES ARE SO SMALL I CANT SEE HIS COCK, HE MUST BE AFTER HUMILIATION OR SOMETHING AND WAS TRYING TO GET A REACTION OUT OF ME.

I just emailed back and said "Clearly this is a wind up and clearly your that delusional, your from another planet. Your pics have just put me off my breakfast"

So I gave him his wee cheap thrill lol, on the off chance he's not into humiliation I hope he realises how stupid he is.
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lou on 04 September 2013, 09:58:29 am
Lol, are you going to share your reply, I would have just pressed the delete button  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: casey_kisses on 04 September 2013, 10:02:56 am
Standard creep trying to get you to talk dirty, also this post should probably be in 'how not to book an escort, world championships' where the rest of the losers reside.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 04 September 2013, 10:08:47 am
Quote from: roxy666 on 04 September 2013, 09:33:22 am
yes like pink princess said, the point is they are asking a question no one has the answer to, so its a pointless and stupid question. i have no idea when i will be back to work, i hope soon as i am very bored and i miss working! (strange, the only job i have ever had that i miss working when away)

as for guys asking questions that are answered on my profile, i get this ALL the time, its extremely irritating, but i always check their profile to see if they are new, but as i live in a town not a city, i dont want to turn work away, so i always reply politely and just swear obsenities at my laptop, lol.

but i was under no illusion when starting this work that the majority of men will only look at your pictures, feedback and rates. only a few like to be thourough and take the time to read your whole profile, which is why i keep it short and sweet, straight to the point and only have 2 points in the Q&As section.
one being about the fact i do not give out my number untill a booking has been agreed and booked through the system, and yet i still get assholes asking for a number in the first message they send me  :FF
the next annoyance being when they just make a booking with no contact. the first thing i say on my profile is to please contact me first so to avoid dissapointment. i could be busy or away. ive had guys do this when i was visiting my mum for a week, so didnt realise i had got back a missed booking (which my status also stated i was away till such and such date) fucking dumb ass'!!!

but must remember to breath and stay polite! i just try to avoid emailing men back before i have had my morning coffee and fag so as not to rip their heads off and shit down their necks!!! (no, i am not a morning person, hahaha) xox

The random booking requests used to drive me insane so now I close my diary which means nobody can place a booking without my permission.

I hope you feel better real soon.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ami on 04 September 2013, 10:10:05 am
This is what I sent back. I had nothing better to do this morning! It s not that nice actually. It started of nice, then I got grumpy! I need more coffee :-)

Honestly, this sounds like a load of bull crap. It sounds like a story you wrote in your fantastical little mind.
If indeed this is a true story and you want to get "educated" then follow these rules.

1. Try not to fuck a road side girl. period. They tend to offer bareback which is what you seemed to have gone for. GO TO A GUM clinic ASAP

2. Read an escort's profile first. I don't see people without any feedback. Why would I? Don't think we are idiots and can't see through your bullshit.

3. See a sex therapist. even a teenage boy on his first time knows how to use it. You're obvs a bit fucked up and need help.

4. Don't bother me again.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 04 September 2013, 10:28:17 am
I posted this, this morning here ..........................

http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=1637.4545

I am in Glasgow so how many people did this idiot send that to?

His pictures made me feel sick.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 04 September 2013, 10:31:46 am
Looks like your thread Ami has been merged with this one.

You were nicer to him than I was. I told him he was from another planet and delusional if he thought he was going to get a positive response from me and I told him that his pictures put me off my breakfast x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 04 September 2013, 10:34:58 am
Yes, I had it yesterday too and I think that's the third or fourth time - it's been posted in this thread before (along with the tights bloke and the one who wants you to go and live with him and the rest of the usual suspects). I suppose he must be excited to have got a new profile, although not as excited as the fact that somebody actually replied to him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roxy666 on 04 September 2013, 11:00:40 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 04 September 2013, 10:08:47 am

The random booking requests used to drive me insane so now I close my diary which means nobody can place a booking without my permission.

I hope you feel better real soon.

xx

aw thanks hun =) so do i, lol. oooo thats good advise, theank you, im going to go do that  ;D xox
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roxy666 on 04 September 2013, 11:03:09 am
ummm, stupid question, lol, but how do you close your diary???xox
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 04 September 2013, 11:06:32 am
Quote from: amy on 04 September 2013, 10:34:58 am
Yes, I had it yesterday too and I think that's the third or fourth time - it's been posted in this thread before (along with the tights bloke and the one who wants you to go and live with him and the rest of the usual suspects). I suppose he must be excited to have got a new profile, although not as excited as the fact that somebody actually replied to him.

9 times out of 10 I ignore and block these eejits but sometimes they are just that BAD they deserve to be told how weird and fucked up they are.

Seriously he has 3 pics. 1st one is of a wee fat man who's dick is so small its just foreskin you can see, second pic is the cup of his hand with a dribble of green looking spunk (either he's diseased OR its something he coughed up) and his 3rd pic is him with an erection and it looks about and inch and a half.

So a mixture of his stupid email and his gross photos (it really did put me off my breakfast) I just had to tell him how delusional he was if he is ever expecting a decent response, saying that Ami sent him a decent response lol.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 04 September 2013, 11:11:44 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 04 September 2013, 11:06:32 am
sometimes they are just that BAD they deserve to be told how weird and fucked up they are.

That's exactly what he wants, though - the pictures you mention probably aren't of him and he's basically getting a free service from anybody who does this as it's what he gets his rocks off from. Far better ignored.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 04 September 2013, 11:13:03 am
Quote from: roxy666 on 04 September 2013, 11:03:09 am
ummm, stupid question, lol, but how do you close your diary???xox

Go to my details, down to availability and click on bookings availability. It will bring up a big page of all the time slots. I just click on the first one which is Sunday at 00:00 hrs and change it to "unavailable" it should automatically make all of your slots unavailable.

Then  when giving someone permission to place a booking you just go through all that again and open your diary by clicking "available" and it should turn all your slots to available.

If you need any more help with this one PM me incase the mods get annoyed at going off "subject" of this thread.

 :-*  :-*

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 04 September 2013, 11:15:39 am
Quote from: amy on 04 September 2013, 11:11:44 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 04 September 2013, 11:06:32 am
sometimes they are just that BAD they deserve to be told how weird and fucked up they are.

That's exactly what he wants, though - the pictures you mention probably aren't of him and he's basically getting a free service from anybody who does this as it's what he gets his rocks off from. Far better ignored.

Yeah my first thought was that he liked humiliation so posted a delusional email to have me thinking/expecting big fat cock pics but to my disappointment see that little tadger lol but then I thought the industry is full of delusional freaks so I thought I will give him his cheap thrill since it was that bad the effort deserved a response IMO then I blocked him.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ami on 04 September 2013, 11:35:54 am
Exactly Pink Princess! It was just a bit of fun replying, I don't think any of us take these things seriously.  So need to feel silly for replying, sometimes it's a way for us to vent as well :-)

I actually had not looked at the photos. Thank god cos I was eating my cereal at the time!! Bleurk!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 04 September 2013, 11:57:10 am
Quote from: Ami on 04 September 2013, 11:35:54 am
Exactly Pink Princess! It was just a bit of fun replying, I don't think any of us take these things seriously.  So need to feel silly for replying, sometimes it's a way for us to vent as well :-)

I actually had not looked at the photos. Thank god cos I was eating my cereal at the time!! Bleurk!

I was eating my cereal lol but yeah your right, replying sometimes is a way to vent and also an attempt to tell them how stupid they are coming across. The guy who text me yesterday morning at 1.30am asking if I was open, I just had to reply and say "What do you think I am, a shop or something? Get real"

I just cant believe there are so many silly/crazy/messed up/weird people there are out there.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 05 September 2013, 12:24:12 am
Here's a doozie
Hi. Slightly different request for you.. I need regular sex lessons as I'm out of touch & need some experienced help please (seriously). I paid ?20 for my driving lessons & had about 25 before I passed! Lol. I'm not filthy rich & have many financial commitments that I can not justify regularly paying around ?100 an hour but I would like to come to some agreement with a lady who is happy to teach a 33 year old healthy man his way.

erm... is he proposing that he pays ?20 an hour? Ha.


I have to admit that this made me giggle.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 05 September 2013, 01:19:23 am
They are so fulla shit sometimes its mind boggling. The thing is, there ARE girls out there who WILL probably see them for ?20 a shag but they are looking in the wrong places when asking girls who clearly wouldn't entertain that sort of thing. I am sure someone off the street would happily oblige so that's where they should go and leave us alone x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ami on 05 September 2013, 01:47:14 am
aye. I reckon you're right.

Are you open? SO RUDE!!

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 05 September 2013, 01:47:36 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 05 September 2013, 01:19:23 am
They are so fulla shit sometimes its mind boggling. The thing is, there ARE girls out there who WILL probably see them for ?20 a shag but they are looking in the wrong places when asking girls who clearly wouldn't entertain that sort of thing. I am sure someone off the street would happily oblige so that's where they should go and leave us alone x

In my opinion, they're exactly the same as idiots who ask for bareback (I don't even do OWO ffs!). Even though there are hundreds of women who do offer it, they choose to bother those who don't. I guess they just get off on winding you up and trying to get a reply.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 05 September 2013, 12:32:23 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 05 September 2013, 01:47:36 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 05 September 2013, 01:19:23 am
They are so fulla shit sometimes its mind boggling. The thing is, there ARE girls out there who WILL probably see them for ?20 a shag but they are looking in the wrong places when asking girls who clearly wouldn't entertain that sort of thing. I am sure someone off the street would happily oblige so that's where they should go and leave us alone x

In my opinion, they're exactly the same as idiots who ask for bareback (I don't even do OWO ffs!). Even though there are hundreds of women who do offer it, they choose to bother those who don't. I guess they just get off on winding you up and trying to get a reply.

This is exact same as me, I don't do OWO either yet I get asked for all sorts. There are literally thousands of happy, willing ladies offering the services they require yet the choose to rattle my cage with they're emails, texts and phone calls. Absolute idiots x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 05 September 2013, 04:04:03 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 05 September 2013, 12:32:23 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 05 September 2013, 01:47:36 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 05 September 2013, 01:19:23 am
They are so fulla shit sometimes its mind boggling. The thing is, there ARE girls out there who WILL probably see them for ?20 a shag but they are looking in the wrong places when asking girls who clearly wouldn't entertain that sort of thing. I am sure someone off the street would happily oblige so that's where they should go and leave us alone x

In my opinion, they're exactly the same as idiots who ask for bareback (I don't even do OWO ffs!). Even though there are hundreds of women who do offer it, they choose to bother those who don't. I guess they just get off on winding you up and trying to get a reply.

This is exact same as me, I don't do OWO either yet I get asked for all sorts. There are literally thousands of happy, willing ladies offering the services they require yet the choose to rattle my cage with they're emails, texts and phone calls. Absolute idiots x

When giving details I specify what I won't do, and most importantly stick in the line that there is no point offering any extra money - the answer will still be the same.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 05 September 2013, 04:39:08 pm
I do tell them that I don't offer these service for extra cash either x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady c on 05 September 2013, 09:38:15 pm
an email asking for lessons in love and wanted to practically interview me via email going on about g spot how deep how long and what I felt about his tiny dick omg it was disgusting the picture was so hairy and tiny. He then said he had 20 driving lessons and they cost 20 pound so to consider something similar lol so I mailed back your 22 and I am not interested bye.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 05 September 2013, 11:23:28 pm
Quote from: ladychannel on 05 September 2013, 09:38:15 pm
an email asking for lessons in love and wanted to practically interview me via email going on about g spot how deep how long and what I felt about his tiny dick omg it was disgusting the picture was so hairy and tiny. He then said he had 20 driving lessons and they cost 20 pound so to consider something similar lol so I mailed back your 22 and I am not interested bye.

Was his username henrymit? x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 06 September 2013, 01:27:28 pm
I have also been contacted by henrymit with the same crap. lol

weird why are people comparing us to driving instructors recently?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 06 September 2013, 02:30:40 pm
Well henrymit was asking me the other day WHY the 2 street prostitutes he had sex with didn't get any pleasure from his cock and he wanted to know why when he comes there doesn't seem to be much cum?? SERIOUSLY HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?? Lol xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CaraMxx on 06 September 2013, 04:52:19 pm
This just in... Wrong site maybe? I did tell him im on direct cam ;)  ::)



nice to meet you
i am adrian and i am english
i am near london, where are you??
you have a very sexy body
are you single, married or in a relationship??
do you have facebook, twitter, yahoo or skype??

*hugs and kisses*

adrian xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 06 September 2013, 06:08:44 pm
Henrymit sent me this
Hello, I am Henry and I am 22. Ok this message may look strange to you but this is how I like to make my booking. I think bookings should be fun and this is how I like to have fun. I?ll ask you few questions and if you kindly answer them because at the end of meeting I like to see if you still agree to these answers or your views have changed. Recently I just made a booking with HOLLYFORFUN and I really enjoyed this way of booking.
Before answering, kindly see my pictures from inside my profile. There are 2 pictures of my penis, one of soft and one of erect cock, and one picture of my cum. Once seen, then answer these questions:
1.   How far can you think you can give me a deepthroat? How you think deepthroating might go?
2.   How you think penetration will go and how much g-spot stimulation you will get? Or to what extend you think penetration will happen?
3.   You have seen my cum picture, can you tell me your views about it. And tell me any difference you see in it.
4. Are your boobs big enough for a tit wank. What you think how will be the tit wank on me?
5. How small you think my penis is. In comparison to average penis you see, can you tell me in % how small you think it is

Please give 1 or 2 sentences answer. I know it may take you few minutes but I like to know your answers because tat the end of meeting I like to see if you views are still same or have changed, and your answers also help me understand how experienced are you in sex and how honest are you.

Kind Regards and please be honest

Yawn
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Panda on 06 September 2013, 08:43:25 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 06 September 2013, 06:08:44 pm
Henrymit sent me this
Hello, I am Henry and I am 22. Ok this message may look strange to you but this is how I like to make my booking. I think bookings should be fun and this is how I like to have fun. I?ll ask you few questions and if you kindly answer them because at the end of meeting I like to see if you still agree to these answers or your views have changed. Recently I just made a booking with HOLLYFORFUN and I really enjoyed this way of booking.
Before answering, kindly see my pictures from inside my profile. There are 2 pictures of my penis, one of soft and one of erect cock, and one picture of my cum. Once seen, then answer these questions:
1.   How far can you think you can give me a deepthroat? How you think deepthroating might go?
2.   How you think penetration will go and how much g-spot stimulation you will get? Or to what extend you think penetration will happen?
3.   You have seen my cum picture, can you tell me your views about it. And tell me any difference you see in it.
4. Are your boobs big enough for a tit wank. What you think how will be the tit wank on me?
5. How small you think my penis is. In comparison to average penis you see, can you tell me in % how small you think it is

Please give 1 or 2 sentences answer. I know it may take you few minutes but I like to know your answers because tat the end of meeting I like to see if you views are still same or have changed, and your answers also help me understand how experienced are you in sex and how honest are you.

Kind Regards and please be honest

Yawn


I got one almost the same as this today, and was coming to add it here as it made me giggle, i mean who would fall for this?  :FF
Anyway here was my one only a few slight changes:

Hello, I am Henry. Ok this message may look strange to you but this is how I like to make my booking. I think bookings should be fun and this is how I like to have fun. I?ll ask you few questions and if you kindly answer them because at the end of meeting I like to see if you still agree to these answers or your views have changed. Recently I just made a booking with Kellyxox and I really enjoyed this way of booking.
Before answering, kindly see my pictures from inside my profile. There are 2 pictures of my penis, one of soft and one of erect cock (in which I hold my cock is erect), and one picture of my cum. Once seen, then answer these questions:
1. How far can you think you can give me a deepthroat? How you think deepthroating might go?
2. How you think penetration will go and how much g-spot stimulation you will get? Or to what extend you think penetration will happen?
3. You have seen my cum picture, can you tell me your views about it. And tell me any difference you see in it.
4. Are your boobs big enough for a tit wank. What you think how will be the tit wank on me?
5. How small you think my penis is. In comparison to average penis you see, can you tell me in % how small you think it is. And to you, do my balls look any average size?

Please give 1 or 2 sentences answer. I know it may take you few minutes but I like to know your answers because tat the end of meeting I like to see if you views are still same or have changed, and your answers also help me understand how experienced are you in sex and how honest are you.

Kind Regards and please be honest.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 06 September 2013, 08:53:24 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 06 September 2013, 06:08:44 pm
Henrymit sent me this
Hello, I am Henry and I am 22. Ok this message may look strange to you but this is how I like to make my booking. I think bookings should be fun and this is how I like to have fun. I?ll ask you few questions and if you kindly answer them because at the end of meeting I like to see if you still agree to these answers or your views have changed. Recently I just made a booking with HOLLYFORFUN and I really enjoyed this way of booking.
Before answering, kindly see my pictures from inside my profile. There are 2 pictures of my penis, one of soft and one of erect cock, and one picture of my cum. Once seen, then answer these questions:
1.   How far can you think you can give me a deepthroat? How you think deepthroating might go?
2.   How you think penetration will go and how much g-spot stimulation you will get? Or to what extend you think penetration will happen?
3.   You have seen my cum picture, can you tell me your views about it. And tell me any difference you see in it.
4. Are your boobs big enough for a tit wank. What you think how will be the tit wank on me?
5. How small you think my penis is. In comparison to average penis you see, can you tell me in % how small you think it is

Please give 1 or 2 sentences answer. I know it may take you few minutes but I like to know your answers because tat the end of meeting I like to see if you views are still same or have changed, and your answers also help me understand how experienced are you in sex and how honest are you.

Kind Regards and please be honest

Yawn

OMG That guy is nuts. He's clearly into humiliation cause he has the worst cock pics I have ever seen and his cum picture looks like he has some sort of disease as its green, either that or its something he coughed up from his throat and there was only a dribble. His cock picture when it was soft was so small I could only see a foreskin.

He's absolutely bonkers and a complete and utter creep. I emailed him back and told him that his pictures put me off my breakfast then I blocked him.

This is what he sent me the other morning........


Hi. WOW you have nice big boobs....are they real?? Anyways, My name is Henry, and I?m a student in Hull University.

I know you work as an escort and have a busy time, but I just need some help from you so kindly if you can spare some time to help.
Till now I have seen two different women for 30 min each. They were road-side girls. So after the penetrative sex, I asked them as to how it felt during the penetration. He first said she felt nothing while the other said she got 30% of the pleasure than she normally receives from penetration from other clients. Since then I have been trying to learn but I am still not clear so thought to ask you for help as you have a vast experience and can help me understand and learn about sex and about myself.
I?ve read on the internet that during penetration, the women gets pleasure mainly due to three things.

1. When the cock rubs against her vaginal walls which cause her pleasure.
2. When the penis touches her spots like A-spot and G-spot.
3. And when the man cums inside her vagina, the feeling of ejection also gives pleasure to her as she can feel the cum being ejected inside her.

As you can see from my penis pictures inside my profile that my penis is fat and of nice girth. So can you help me understand why the women won?t feel much pleasure from it? It can cause same rubbing as any other cock so why those two women said they dint enjoyed penetration? As you are a women and an experienced one, can you please explain me this. Well if you were doing my penis, will you not feel it rubbing against vaginal walls and providing stimulations?? Or was it that their vaginal walls were not that sensitive and thus did not felt much?? Please can you give me your expert views.
Secondly you may also see my full cum load picture in my profile, so why is it that they did not felt me cum inside them? Because once I cummed and I told her that I have cummed. She said ? aw have you?? and then she took my condom off and squeezed the condom and then said ? aw yeah you have, there is it???so why is it that on both instances they did not felt he cum??
I hope you are friendly enough to help me and honest person so to educate me properly as I really like to know the reality and like to know your views about me.
Thanks again and hope you understand my curiosity

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 06 September 2013, 08:54:17 pm
P.S I am in Glasgow so I wonder how many escorts spread throughout the entire country he sends this shite to  ::)

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 07 September 2013, 01:15:06 am
Weirdly he has good feedback from one girl....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 07 September 2013, 02:05:08 am
It doesn't surprise me, all of the things we have mentioned on this MASSIVE thread are from guys who we might think are nuts but they do it cause its clearly worked for them at some point. There is always someone willing to do something you wouldn't xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 07 September 2013, 02:13:15 am
Quote from: Ami on 04 September 2013, 09:52:50 am
Morning lovely ladies! I opened my inbox to this beauty today :-) Hope you enjoy your wednesdays!    ::)



I know you work as an escort and have a busy time, but I just need some help from you so kindly if you can spare some time to help.
Till now I have seen two different women for 30 min each. They were road-side girls. So after the penetrative sex, I asked them as to how it felt during the penetration. He first said she felt nothing while the other said she got 30% of the pleasure than she normally receives from penetration from other clients. Since then I have been trying to learn but I am still not clear so thought to ask you for help as you have a vast experience and can help me understand and learn about sex and about myself.
I?ve read on the internet that during penetration, the women gets pleasure mainly due to three things.

1. When the cock rubs against her vaginal walls which cause her pleasure.
2. When the penis touches her spots like A-spot and G-spot.
3. And when the man cums inside her vagina, the feeling of ejection also gives pleasure to her as she can feel the cum being ejected inside her.

As you can see from my penis pictures inside my profile that my penis is fat and of nice girth. So can you help me understand why the women won?t feel much pleasure from it? It can cause same rubbing as any other cock so why those two women said they dint enjoyed penetration? As you are a women and an experienced one, can you please explain me this. Well if you were doing my penis, will you not feel it rubbing against vaginal walls and providing stimulations?? Or was it that their vaginal walls were not that sensitive and thus did not felt much?? Please can you give me your expert views.
Secondly you may also see my full cum load picture in my profile, so why is it that they did not felt me cum inside them? Because once I cummed and I told her that I have cummed. She said ? aw have you?? and then she took my condom off and squeezed the condom and then said ? aw yeah you have, there is it???so why is it that on both instances they did not felt he cum??
I hope you are friendly enough to help me and honest person so to educate me properly as I really like to know the reality and like to know your views about me.
Thanks again and hope you understand my curiosity

Good lord, is he still doing the rounds?!? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 07 September 2013, 10:06:26 am
Hello, I am Henry. Ok this message may look strange to you but this is how I like to make my booking. I think bookings should be fun and this is how I like to have fun. I?ll ask you few questions and if you kindly answer them because at the end of meeting I like to see if you still agree to these answers or your views have changed. Recently I just made a booking with (Insert Escorts name here) and I really enjoyed this way of booking.
Before answering, kindly see my pictures from inside my profile. There are 2 pictures of my penis, one of soft and one of erect cock (in which I hold my cock is erect), and one picture of my cum. Once seen, then answer these questions:
1. How far can you think you can give me a deepthroat? How you think deepthroating might go?
2. How you think penetration will go and how much g-spot stimulation you will get? Or to what extend you think penetration will happen?
3. You have seen my cum picture, can you tell me your views about it. And tell me any difference you see in it.
4. Are your boobs big enough for a tit wank. What you think how will be the tit wank on me?
5. How small you think my penis is. In comparison to average penis you see, can you tell me in % how small you think it is. And to you, do my balls look any average size?

Please give 1 or 2 sentences answer. I know it may take you few minutes but I like to know your answers because tat the end of meeting I like to see if you views are still same or have changed, and your answers also help me understand how experienced are you in sex and how honest are you.

Kind Regards and please be honest.


 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 07 September 2013, 10:23:15 am
For the love of God, how many times do we have to have this email reposted? Enough, please.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 07 September 2013, 11:31:14 am
Thought I was missing out and no one loved me  ::) then I got MY email from Henry   ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Darla Doll on 07 September 2013, 03:40:43 pm
Got exact same message from Henry lol along with added pics .... Bizarre
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 09 September 2013, 12:09:25 am
This one was actually quite dark he enquired about booking me as a sub. I explained my security and what would be required then I got this:

Tell me, have you ever been pimped before, being made to be a slut for the financial gain of a dominant man?

Do you have rape fantasies?

X

I love the kiss at the end... Blocked
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 09 September 2013, 12:17:18 am
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 09 September 2013, 12:09:25 am
Tell me, have you ever been pimped before, being made to be a slut for the financial gain of a dominant man?

'Yes, the year that I won The Apprentice' :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 09 September 2013, 12:43:53 am
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 09 September 2013, 12:09:25 am
This one was actually quite dark he enquired about booking me as a sub. I explained my security and what would be required then I got this:

Tell me, have you ever been pimped before, being made to be a slut for the financial gain of a dominant man?

Do you have rape fantasies?

X

I love the kiss at the end... Blocked

OMG That's actually scary  :-\ xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 09 September 2013, 01:15:24 am
Yeah I was taken aback by it but I have the feeling he is a fantasist. At least I hope he is.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 09 September 2013, 09:06:57 am
Got a text this morning at 05.58 saying U available?  :FF

Do they actually expect a response? A decent response at that?  :FF

I have actually gone out of my way the past couple of days to make my profile more idiot proof.

These people really do rattle my cage lol. Need to get a phone with a blocking facility.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ami on 09 September 2013, 10:35:25 am
Ah Lady Lust! You just me lol around on the floor, big time!!!  ;D ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ebonypru on 09 September 2013, 05:35:55 pm
The problem is that many agencies WILL reply to text bookings and be willing to go ahead and arrange a booking entirely by text, then text the lady to say "we have a booking for you."

I now have an app on my phone which bins text messages automatically and blocks the sender from sending any more.

xxx

Pru

Quote from: Pink~Princess on 09 September 2013, 09:06:57 am
Got a text this morning at 05.58 saying U available?  :FF

Do they actually expect a response? A decent response at that?  :FF

I have actually gone out of my way the past couple of days to make my profile more idiot proof.

These people really do rattle my cage lol. Need to get a phone with a blocking facility.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 09 September 2013, 05:49:27 pm
Yeah but I am not an agency and I have a very clear profile with my working hours in bold at the top and it was more the time I was commenting on as I don't know of many people sitting awake & ready for a booking at 6am. If I answered the door at 6am looking the way I actually looked at 6am, they would accuse my pictures of being fake. I don't roll out of bed looking like that.

I am going on tour in a couple of weeks with a fresh start so will be getting a Samsung phone that blocks any numbers I don't want to contact me.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady c on 09 September 2013, 07:55:59 pm
yes the henry one omg I did have that one, he must be seriously bored.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GabyStarr on 10 September 2013, 01:34:28 pm
Quote from: Clarabella on 07 September 2013, 10:06:26 am
Hello, I am Henry. Ok this message may look strange to you but this is how I like to make my booking. I think bookings should be fun and this is how I like to have fun. I?ll ask you few questions and if you kindly answer them because at the end of meeting I like to see if you still agree to these answers or your views have changed. Recently I just made a booking with (Insert Escorts name here) and I really enjoyed this way of booking.
Before answering, kindly see my pictures from inside my profile. There are 2 pictures of my penis, one of soft and one of erect cock (in which I hold my cock is erect), and one picture of my cum. Once seen, then answer these questions:
1. How far can you think you can give me a deepthroat? How you think deepthroating might go?
2. How you think penetration will go and how much g-spot stimulation you will get? Or to what extend you think penetration will happen?
3. You have seen my cum picture, can you tell me your views about it. And tell me any difference you see in it.
4. Are your boobs big enough for a tit wank. What you think how will be the tit wank on me?
5. How small you think my penis is. In comparison to average penis you see, can you tell me in % how small you think it is. And to you, do my balls look any average size?

Please give 1 or 2 sentences answer. I know it may take you few minutes but I like to know your answers because tat the end of meeting I like to see if you views are still same or have changed, and your answers also help me understand how experienced are you in sex and how honest are you.

Kind Regards and please be honest.

HA! I got this too...was tempted to reply as I thought it my turn out he was well hung, but when I saw him 'hard', I had to laugh. Felt bad as he obviously had no say in what he was given

x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 10 September 2013, 01:38:21 pm
I don't think the pictures are real, surely not. The email I got from him he actually said he has a big, fat cock so when I clicked on his profile his cock was so small it was inside him, I could only see a foreskin and when he was hard in the other pic your lucky if it was an inch to an inch and a half big so I am thinking he's into humiliation and wants a reaction from us, saying that I sent him an email saying he had just put me off my breakfast....he read it straight away and deleted him message lol but I'd already blocked him by that point so I am not sure if he replied or not.

He emails girls all up and down the country, I am in Glasgow lol. Guys a complete weirdo. you gotta wonder the thought process of some of these guys.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 11 September 2013, 08:09:25 am
My favourite text so far this week:

"CAN I CUM AND SEE YOU MONDAY ALL TUESDAY."

 :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CaraMxx on 11 September 2013, 10:42:49 am
Quote from: GabyStarr on 10 September 2013, 01:34:28 pm

HA! I got this too...was tempted to reply as I thought it my turn out he was well hung, but when I saw him 'hard', I had to laugh. Felt bad as he obviously had no say in what he was given

x

Ahhh I haven't got it yet boooo  :'( :-X :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GabyStarr on 11 September 2013, 12:59:33 pm
These made chuckle...

1. Hello,how r u? I would to tell u so u have beautist body ever i see;) i know it is impossible now to meet u,with some reason,but i hope u r not angry so i txt u? I would like just to find some friends;))

definitely NOT the place to make friends!

2. hi and thanks for your reply. I am working on Friday but maybe next week is ok. Are you free at all over the weekend - I was wondering if you would like to just met up for a drink and chat and maybe something to eat? do you have yahoo and you could see my pic? kisses xxx

this guy was actually looking for a girlfriend...

3. do you do any special offers for people with a tight budget?

4. Hi, I love to see sexy girls popping balloons, will you do that for me? its a big turn on.
Also would you let me take a few pics of you fully clothed popping balloons, without you face if you want

... ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 11 September 2013, 01:07:54 pm
Wow fuck sake lol  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 11 September 2013, 01:08:49 pm
Quote from: GabyStarr on 11 September 2013, 12:59:33 pm
4. Hi, I love to see sexy girls popping balloons, will you do that for me? its a big turn on.
Also would you let me take a few pics of you fully clothed popping balloons, without you face if you want


Point him at my profile - I have a video of me blowing up and popping balloons ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xxAmyxx on 13 September 2013, 12:18:57 pm
Just been looking at the good old reverse bids n found this cracker!!!!

Hi am staying at a lovely hotel up in London and am looking for a fun sexy girl to play with! Not done this sort of thing much but have a little special request I'm hoping one of you sexy ladies wants to help me with, am looking for a lady that would be happy for me to cum all over her pussy and play with herself using my cum!! NOT looking for bareback sex

Andy xxx

Hmmm not looking for bb but exactly the same principle isn't it!! Made me chuckle.. Sometimes if im feeling low I have a little look n cheer myself up with silly requests hehe!!

X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 13 September 2013, 12:38:37 pm
Quote from: xxAmyxx on 13 September 2013, 12:18:57 pm
Just been looking at the good old reverse bids n found this cracker!!!!

Hi am staying at a lovely hotel up in London and am looking for a fun sexy girl to play with! Not done this sort of thing much but have a little special request I'm hoping one of you sexy ladies wants to help me with, am looking for a lady that would be happy for me to cum all over her pussy and play with herself using my cum!! NOT looking for bareback sex

Andy xxx

Hmmm not looking for bb but exactly the same principle isn't it!! Made me chuckle.. Sometimes if im feeling low I have a little look n cheer myself up with silly requests hehe!!

X

Lol I read the RB's too just for a laugh, maybe we need to get out more  :-* xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 13 September 2013, 01:06:52 pm
Just had this email:

 'me, Im a investment baker, so whan can I c u'    ooohhh arrrh an investment baker, he must be rolling in dough.

LMFAO  ;D  I so want him as a client.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 13 September 2013, 01:11:03 pm
Hahahahaha what a douche x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 13 September 2013, 05:05:45 pm
Quote from: ClaireJayne on 13 September 2013, 01:06:52 pm
Just had this email:

 'me, Im a investment baker, so whan can I c u'    ooohhh arrrh an investment baker, he must be rolling in dough.

LMFAO  ;D  I so want him as a client.

Ha Ha that was brilliant, I laughed so hard I scared the cat!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 13 September 2013, 08:46:02 pm
PUN of the Day!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: x-Veronica-x on 14 September 2013, 09:15:57 pm
I had one asking to meet up for discreet fun. I got back asking if he was referring to a booking and he said no just meeting for fun! Haha

So I told him aw is not a dating site your wasting your time no matter how big your cock is and how good looking you are your not going to get an escort to meet you for free. And out of escorting I would never meet anymore I didn't know for discreet fun.

Then another today just saying I'm 17 and a virgin

No way would I see a 17yr old!

I didn't even reply to him
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 16 September 2013, 04:36:01 pm
'Hello, I was very interested to read your profile and some of
your blogs...... Clearly not your average sex worker a thinker as well as doer!'

And a POKE IN THE EYE for that man *sigh* ...compliment FAIL

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 16 September 2013, 04:40:35 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 16 September 2013, 04:36:01 pm
'Hello, I was very interested to read your profile and some of
your blogs...... Clearly not your average sex worker a thinker as well as doer!'

And a POKE IN THE EYE for that man *sigh* ...compliment FAIL

Ha, I get stuff like that a lot. As if the ability to construct a sentence properly in my native language makes me somehow unsuited to earning ridiculous amounts of money for a few hours work a week, and instead I really ought to be standing behind a till eight hours a day for minimum wage, or something ::).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 17 September 2013, 02:00:07 am
Quote from: xxAmyxx on 13 September 2013, 12:18:57 pm
Just been looking at the good old reverse bids n found this cracker!!!!

Hi am staying at a lovely hotel up in London and am looking for a fun sexy girl to play with! Not done this sort of thing much but have a little special request I'm hoping one of you sexy ladies wants to help me with, am looking for a lady that would be happy for me to cum all over her pussy and play with herself using my cum!! NOT looking for bareback sex

Andy xxx

Hmmm not looking for bb but exactly the same principle isn't it!! Made me chuckle.. Sometimes if im feeling low I have a little look n cheer myself up with silly requests hehe!!

X

The ignoranace of how STDs can be transmitted , by some of these punters , is astounding !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 17 September 2013, 09:50:09 am
He probably does know how STD's are transmitted hence him not wanting bareback sex for himself. He doesn't give a fuck about the escort using his cum to play with herself x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 21 September 2013, 12:25:05 am
   
Hi Eliza,

Chancer Charles:
If you watch me masturbate on my webcam for just 2 minutes i will book you for an overnight booking, please add my skype name to your skype account, *******, thank you xx
   
Me: No thanks I don't have skype.

Chancer:Skype is easy to download Eliza

Charles xx

Me: Nah its oK thanks anyway

Chancer: Ok Eliza, thank you for letting me know however i would have paid you ?100 on top of your normal overnight fee just for watching me

Charles xx

Me: Really? wow!

Chancer: Yes really Eliza hun xx

Chancer: Will you please reconsider Eliza and watch me hun xx

Chancer: I guess you are not interested then Eliza, i am willing to pay an extra ?200 on top of your normal rates for an overnight if you watch me on cam xx

Me:    
Golly ?200, How could I refuse. I mean it just sounds so plausible and definitely not like someone trying to trick me into giving them a free cam show. How many people actually go ahead with this because quite a few of my friends have received the same email from you. I'm offended I thought I was special! HAHA

Good luck getting your free show

Eliza

xx

Chancer: You are special Eliza thats why i came to you, i genuinely want to meet you hun xx


I got bored after that. I just feeling a bit naughty haha!







Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 21 September 2013, 07:05:35 pm
I don't usually post much on here because I don't like to poke fun at nervous, awkward enquiries, when people might not know the etiquette of contacting a prossie (yes a lot of guys get het up in their own excitement & nervousness over the fact they can book a woman to have sex with with, and normally outwardly quite organised men just go completely to pot!).

So first thing this morning I receive

Ok :)

the few hours later

To day ?

Finally 90 minutes later

Hmm? :)

I finally responded with "I haven't a clue what you are wanting but they are not the way to get my attention"

Reply to this is

? :)

Also had a "nite bby" last night from a completely random number.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 21 September 2013, 07:28:26 pm
I get weird one's like that. The most recent one I got was one saying "oh my" lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 22 September 2013, 01:37:22 pm
Quote from: Strawberry on 21 September 2013, 07:05:35 pm
I don't usually post much on here because I don't like to poke fun at nervous, awkward enquiries, when people might not know the etiquette of contacting a prossie (yes a lot of guys get het up in their own excitement & nervousness over the fact they can book a woman to have sex with with, and normally outwardly quite organised men just go completely to pot!).

So first thing this morning I receive

Ok :)

the few hours later

To day ?

Finally 90 minutes later

Hmm? :)

I finally responded with "I haven't a clue what you are wanting but they are not the way to get my attention"

Reply to this is

? :)

Also had a "nite bby" last night from a completely random number.

I don't really think this thread was made or is filled with the shy guys dodgy etiquette lol, I can tell a shy guy from a chancing idiot and most of the posts on here are complete idiots, the majority of them are so silly its embarrassing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Frilz on 23 September 2013, 08:57:01 pm



What im afta is quite simple really - i wanna get fukked a few times and ye blow me load at least twice.

You must be a smoker - cos im gonna want ye smokin while ye fukkin me.


If ye havent got a pic on ye profile, ye need te message me with ye email addy and ill email ye with my email address and ye can send me some pics.


Can anyone translate?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 23 September 2013, 09:05:32 pm
Ha ha obviously Scottish.

Heres the translation.

What I am after is quite simple really, I want to get fucked a few time and  blow my load (come) at least twice.

You must be a smoker, because I am going to want you smoking while your fucking me.

If you havent got a picture on your profile, you  need to message me with your email address and I will email you with my email address and you can send me some pictures.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 23 September 2013, 09:23:04 pm
Defo Scottish. I am Scottish (Glaswegian to be exact lol) and it really gets on my tits when I have to spend 4 times the amount of usual time it takes me to read a stupid email, trying to figure out what these BAWBAGS are saying  ::)

xx

Translation BAWBAG = BALL BAG  ;D

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 23 September 2013, 09:59:31 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 23 September 2013, 09:23:04 pm
Defo Scottish. I am Scottish (Glaswegian to be exact lol) and it really gets on my tits when I have to spend 4 times the amount of usual time it takes me to read a stupid email, trying to figure out what these BAWBAGS are saying  ::)

xx

Translation BAWBAG = BALL BAG  ;D

xx

Yes I am in Ayrshire and I hate it too, I mean just because someones in that area doesn't mean they were born and bred there and speak the local lingo.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 23 September 2013, 11:28:07 pm
Well I am born and bread Glasgow and I definitely don't speak the lingo, in fact anyone who phones me with a broad Glasgow accent, neddy/chavy I don't see them lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 25 September 2013, 05:21:36 pm
u get a iphone 4 unlocked with paperwork not money... dogging,alvls,doggy,cim or carmeet if u have one.

Charming eh? An iPhone 4 when I already have the iPhone 5s and a carmeet if I have a car?? lol WFT.

So this guys doesn't have cash and doesn't have a car but whats a carmeet with an escort  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sarah_the_MILF on 26 September 2013, 01:32:40 pm
 He He

 I've had the phone for a punt offer too .....pointed him at cash converters

& the cheeky sod replied he thought they were a rip off LOL
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 26 September 2013, 02:57:11 pm
cheap skate: Hi what are your rates

Me: my rates are blah blah blah

Cheap skate: wow you are way more expensive then the other girls!!!

Me: well I've never heard complaints about my prices perhaps you should book those cheaper girls if I am out of your budget.

Cheap skate: ok can you direct me to someone cheaper I am skint.

Me: do I look like a directory? If your skint then I would watch free porn. Bye.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cardiff_Escort on 26 September 2013, 06:25:40 pm
Hi Gemma,

I'm interested in an Incall, would make it longer for your advantage.

I noticed you like Horse riding, could you get a hold of a stallion for the incall?

Do you have facilities for this?

Lewis

LOL Im actually speechless :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 26 September 2013, 07:17:55 pm
Quote from: Gemma_Cardiff on 26 September 2013, 06:25:40 pm
Hi Gemma,

I'm interested in an Incall, would make it longer for your advantage.

I noticed you like Horse riding, could you get a hold of a stallion for the incall?

Do you have facilities for this?

Lewis

LOL Im actually speechless :-\

WFT?? I don't know whats weirder expecting a fucking horse to be at your incall location OR wondering what exactly he wants to do with the horse? Some really weird people out there x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 27 September 2013, 10:19:34 am
Got this at 05.07am (WTF lol)

Hi I'm Rob sorry for the early text but wondered if you are working now? xx

 :FF


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 27 September 2013, 02:07:08 pm
Quote from: Clarabella on 27 September 2013, 10:19:34 am
Got this at 05.07am (WTF lol)

Hi I'm Rob sorry for the early text but wondered if you are working now? xx

 :FF

Why do people say "sorry" as they are about to, or actually doing the thing they apologise for? Why not just not do it instead?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KaylaCouture on 28 September 2013, 03:12:19 am
This is a new low! (The text was split up into 4 separate ones, and I just copied and pasted it):

Idiot: (1/4) My god ur beautiful. . this might sound kinda odd but mutually beneficial. Would you trade a 15 minute quickie for frozen DiGiorno pizza? I'll give you t
Idiot: (2/4) wo cases. Each csdr has 12 pizzas in it. That's 24 pizzas. They sell for around $7 each that comes out to about 170. They can actually be returned to any
Idiot: (3/4) Safeway, release, Bel Air, or Walmart for either cash or store credit. I actually work for a distributor for DiGiorno and return pizzas quite often that's
Idiot: (4/4) why I can't do it to just pay you cash. But if you want to do a trade it's totally worth it. What do you think?

TOTALLY worth it, don't you girls think?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 28 September 2013, 03:48:51 am
OH MY FUCKING GOD, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  ;D

What the hell goes through some of they're heads? Really WTF????

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 28 September 2013, 12:24:53 pm
Woke up to this, this morning......

Just woke up and horny as hell, fancy coming round and helping me with my problem

How could I resist an offer like that? Oh yeah I don't do outcalls. Guys been on the site for 3 years with 25 feedback although quite a few of them are girls complaining of a no show or cancellation and he has 3 aliases. I suppose there are lots of girls who would entertain a moron like this and that's up to them, but they shouldn't be emailing me with they're crappy, creepy 1 liners. Even if someone doesn't read my profile its pretty clear that I don't get turned on by that kinda shit.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 01 October 2013, 03:39:40 pm
I have no idea why but Tuesday's are a joke in Ireland, it seems that every muppet is out for the day from whichever secure unit they belong to.

A call this morning at 10am from "Dave" a 1 hr appointment made for 12, no sign of him and no calls to say his body was floating in a puddle somewhere lol so I listened to my vm's from yesterday as I wasn't working yesterday...Low and behold a vm from him only he was "john" yesterday but same number.

hhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm maybe a lucky escape I think.... Or maybe he has a different personality for every day of the week, in which case who will he be tomorrow ....

another gobshite rings me on a private number to say a "friend" of his gave me his number when pushed for a name as I won't take a referral booking without one he muttered john.

 Oh how flipping original, however he gave me enough info to make me think this was a person I refused to see previously as he didn't show up for a booking then the next day told me his wife had followed him to the shop around the corner from my home...When this caller was told he would need to call me back off an unblocked number he got rattled and said this

what if something was to happen to you, would someone come looking for me?

I explained I myself nor any other escort would meet without doing the basic security checks and having a contact number for a client so it could be passed to the police in case something did indeed happen.  That my minder has all the numbers of ppl I meet and he said he would call me back later... again hmmmmm but this one has worried me a touch so even if he does call back I shall be busy until eternity..

Another crazy Tuesday  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 01 October 2013, 05:17:25 pm
Since putting my details on vivastreet I get a lot of people starting their telephone conversations in a weird way. I'm pretty straight to the point so this subtlety is wasted on me. The weirdest one was "Hi, I'm calling you about you job application." I mean what the hell! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 01 October 2013, 08:07:06 pm
Quote from: Gemma_Cardiff on 26 September 2013, 06:25:40 pm
Hi Gemma,

I'm interested in an Incall, would make it longer for your advantage.

I noticed you like Horse riding, could you get a hold of a stallion for the incall?

Do you have facilities for this?

Lewis

LOL Im actually speechless :-\

The clients name was not Mr Ed by any chance? :-)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 01 October 2013, 11:30:07 pm
Quote from: curvywench on 01 October 2013, 03:39:40 pm
I have no idea why but Tuesday's are a joke in Ireland, it seems that every muppet is out for the day from whichever secure unit they belong to.

A call this morning at 10am from "Dave" a 1 hr appointment made for 12, no sign of him and no calls to say his body was floating in a puddle somewhere lol so I listened to my vm's from yesterday as I wasn't working yesterday...Low and behold a vm from him only he was "john" yesterday but same number.

hhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm maybe a lucky escape I think.... Or maybe he has a different personality for every day of the week, in which case who will he be tomorrow ....

another gobshite rings me on a private number to say a "friend" of his gave me his number when pushed for a name as I won't take a referral booking without one he muttered john.

 Oh how flipping original, however he gave me enough info to make me think this was a person I refused to see previously as he didn't show up for a booking then the next day told me his wife had followed him to the shop around the corner from my home...When this caller was told he would need to call me back off an unblocked number he got rattled and said this

what if something was to happen to you, would someone come looking for me?

I explained I myself nor any other escort would meet without doing the basic security checks and having a contact number for a client so it could be passed to the police in case something did indeed happen.  That my minder has all the numbers of ppl I meet and he said he would call me back later... again hmmmmm but this one has worried me a touch so even if he does call back I shall be busy until eternity..

Another crazy Tuesday  :FF


I have noted that the Irish men in general have a few national pastimes  they are the following in no particular order
1, Guinness drinkers
2, going to church,
3, But top of the list with whistles and bells is .... ringing prossies making appointments and not turning up. Its a fucking national pastime of epic proportions.

(disclaimer) Have worked in Ireland for many years and my Irish phone is the literary version of  Tourette's Syndrom,  so I'm  not being racist or anything toward the Irish and I love going there but just going on my experience of working in Ireland  over the past 5 years

I blame It On The Porn
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katalina on 02 October 2013, 02:55:28 pm
Argh I've had a couple of really frustrating/creepy ones this week - one guy booked in the morning for an in-call 90 mins later, I jumped in the shower and got out to find he'd sent a load of emails about "I'm so nervous now, what if i can't get an erection??".  I felt a bit bad for him & let him re-book for later in the day...of course he cancelled that as well, 30 min before. And with far too much detail about his erectile dysfunction :-/  He had the nerve to say "maybe tomorrow"...when I informed him that no, I would not be responding to him tomorrow, I got this lovely message:
 "Well if you showed me a pic of your pussy it might tempt me". Eewww. Then a creepy guy wanting me to come to his shop & give him a BJ. The one that made me want to throw my laptop out the window was the "So what do I get for an hour? x" just now. That info is on my feckin profile, 2nd time I'd had to direct him to it. Reckon he's after free sex chat or just stupid? 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emily b on 02 October 2013, 05:21:15 pm
Quote from: KaylaCouture on 28 September 2013, 03:12:19 am
This is a new low! (The text was split up into 4 separate ones, and I just copied and pasted it):

Idiot: (1/4) My god ur beautiful. . this might sound kinda odd but mutually beneficial. Would you trade a 15 minute quickie for frozen DiGiorno pizza? I'll give you t
Idiot: (2/4) wo cases. Each csdr has 12 pizzas in it. That's 24 pizzas. They sell for around $7 each that comes out to about 170. They can actually be returned to any
Idiot: (3/4) Safeway, release, Bel Air, or Walmart for either cash or store credit. I actually work for a distributor for DiGiorno and return pizzas quite often that's
Idiot: (4/4) why I can't do it to just pay you cash. But if you want to do a trade it's totally worth it. What do you think?

OHHHHHHHH Is that really real??????

WTF !!!!!!

OMG I'm staring at that in absolute disbelief !

Does he really expect....oh, words fails me !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SubCharlotte on 02 October 2013, 07:01:43 pm
I got this beaut last Sunday

"Hi"
"Good Evening, can I help?"
"Are you still open?"

What?! Does he mean my legs?!

Speechless.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 02 October 2013, 10:17:49 pm
By text

Him: Can I have a full frontal pic

Me: My photos are on my website

Him: No internet

Me: If you'd like to know more happy to do so by telephone call

Him: Aw I'm a board lad in bed having a wank can send you a pic in exchange

 ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CaraMxx on 03 October 2013, 01:03:58 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 25 September 2013, 05:21:36 pm
u get a iphone 4 unlocked with paperwork not money... dogging,alvls,doggy,cim or carmeet if u have one.

Charming eh? An iPhone 4 when I already have the iPhone 5s and a carmeet if I have a car?? lol WFT.

So this guys doesn't have cash and doesn't have a car but whats a carmeet with an escort  ::)

Haha this gave me a late night giggle! Thanks PP!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 03 October 2013, 03:22:13 am
Just had an email on AW at 03.04am saying...........

R u avail to come to Elgin?

I don't do outcalls, I am in Glasgow which is hours and hours away from Elgin, infact Elgin is at the very top of Scotland I think. And I don't work past 10pm at nite. My profile is so clear but seriously an outcall to fucking Elgin with a crap one liner in text speak  :FF  :FF

Delusional wankers  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KaylaCouture on 03 October 2013, 09:11:49 am
Quote from: Emily b on 02 October 2013, 05:21:15 pm
Quote from: KaylaCouture on 28 September 2013, 03:12:19 am
This is a new low! (The text was split up into 4 separate ones, and I just copied and pasted it):

Idiot: (1/4) My god ur beautiful. . this might sound kinda odd but mutually beneficial. Would you trade a 15 minute quickie for frozen DiGiorno pizza? I'll give you t
Idiot: (2/4) wo cases. Each csdr has 12 pizzas in it. That's 24 pizzas. They sell for around $7 each that comes out to about 170. They can actually be returned to any
Idiot: (3/4) Safeway, release, Bel Air, or Walmart for either cash or store credit. I actually work for a distributor for DiGiorno and return pizzas quite often that's
Idiot: (4/4) why I can't do it to just pay you cash. But if you want to do a trade it's totally worth it. What do you think?

OHHHHHHHH Is that really real??????

WTF !!!!!!

OMG I'm staring at that in absolute disbelief !

Does he really expect....oh, words fails me !!

Yes! I had him saved as $60Faggot because he offered me 60 dollars for a quicky (I charge 120 for that, he offered HALF whats on my profile) And that time, was really long winded and went into detail about WHY he was broke, blahblahblah. So I have no doubt this jerk would stoop as low as frozen pizza!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 03 October 2013, 02:29:20 pm
I have had the best!

Hi I am a bank manager and I would like to trade with you an hour ofyour time for my finacial advice and  ?30. I think someone has been watching too much of Deal or no Deal.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 03 October 2013, 03:05:37 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 03 October 2013, 02:29:20 pm
I have had the best!

Hi I am a bank manager and I would like to trade with you an hour ofyour time for my finacial advice and  ?30. I think someone has been watching too much of Deal or no Deal.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 03 October 2013, 05:54:01 pm
Which bank?

I thought they gave FREE advice?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 03 October 2013, 06:19:14 pm
Just had someone sign off an email with 'lick you later'  No, I think not.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 08 October 2013, 04:01:35 pm
Clients books sounding funny saying that if his going to be late he will let me know. My phone rings 5 minutes later for 15 mutes after booking time. Then surprisingly he phones back for another 15 minutes later so in total 30 minutes after booking time. I did say if his joking with me. Client said no traffic.  This sounds to be a time waster.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 08 October 2013, 05:16:16 pm
Had this charmer via email

Him: Prices please?

Me: prices etc at www. mysite. com

Him: I'm on the fone you idiot!You could better just throw some numbers

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 10 October 2013, 04:08:45 pm
so this guy tries to book me before he calls and at first it seems fine I confirm the booking for a couple of days time,

Then 15 mins later he calls again to say he was watching one of my videos. "very nice dear but I'm busy at the moment," he goes away

15 minutes later another call. He is still watching the same video. "Good for you but I told you I am busy can you please not call me just for a chat,"

To be honest alarm bells were ringing then but I was too busy to deal with it at that moment, I told them if he had any requirement then he should text them to me. I got this:

Short sexy trashy clubbing type, no bra stocking heels lots of kissing owo deep sloppy also want to fuck u many times cum many times natural if possible can pull out - u hot fuck sexy fuck slut love u xxx

oh my, I thought, that seems a bit intense. So I tell him that I dont do bareback and if that is a service he is seeking then to look elsewhere. He texts back to say:

Ok maybe after u get used to me as u got a gorgeous hot sexy pussy xxx

 ::) Again I dont have time to deal with this I turn off my phone for the evening with the intention to cancel the booking tomorrow as I really get a massive bad vibe ffrom him that gets worse with every contact.


I turn my phone on and waiting for me was a multi media message (I assume it was his Johnson but as I have purposefully not set up my phone to receive or send pictures I will never know...)

and a 2 texts saying:

fucking so horny babes xxx need you so badly xxx show me wat you look like dressed in that sec outfit remember no bra xxx

can I call u babes or u got a mouth filled with a hard cock xxx love u

After some inverstigation on Adult work using client connections I find his profile and its not looking good! 85 ratings 52 positive 14 neutral 7 negatives and 12 disputes but he has also hidden his feedback.

I text him saying that I cannot meet him as he has hidden his feedback and as a rule I do not meet people who do that.

I get a text saying that he was looking forward to meeting me and is still happy to do so even tho I judged him without meeting him.

This was last month. Still learning I realise now I could've put a stop to this a lot sooner but today I recieved this text message:

Fucking luv u babes and want u badly why u playing hard to get? I know when u meet me you will really like me as I am horny and naughty as u are babes. Pls let me know u sexy fucking hot thing lol. Ur biggest fan xxxx

AH this guy has just reminded me of something else I have learnt. I have a block button!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Taylor on 10 October 2013, 10:33:45 pm
oh dear god sounds like stan Eminem song
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 10 October 2013, 10:51:57 pm
Fucking hell HHJJ, typical case of delusion. Another wanker that thinks we're constantly soaking wet and horny for they're cocks and genuinely get off on creepiness. I'd have blocked him well before it got as far as that, I'd have blocked him after the first phone call for a chat about your movie x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 11 October 2013, 01:06:34 am
To be honest PP I think I would now. You learn quickly in this game dont ya!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MaddieMoo on 11 October 2013, 04:25:37 pm
"Hello, my name is ***** and I am interested in seeing you for an overnight in Nottingham in next fortnight, can I ask if you will do 1800 for 3 nights?"

I can't believe an absolute stranger thinks I'm going to go to Nottingham when I only work in Greater Manchester, to do have a week of overnights!

I tried to stay level headed and reply that I don't do overnights with new clients and I don't do Nottingham either. He then tried to assure me he was a stand up guy and could come to manchester!! Blehh!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HollyH on 11 October 2013, 07:23:25 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 11 October 2013, 11:43:23 pm
Just had someone phone me (its out of my very clear advertised working hours) so I pressed cancel to which he texted saying he and his friend are looking for some fun.


Isnt that nice? The better find someone who is happy to entertain the 2 of them then. I just wonder if there is any way I can be any clearer about things on my profile?

Not only is it out of my working hours but I dont see any more than 1 client at a time and I very much doubt they have read my list of services.

Typical eejit that assumes cause I am a sex worker that everything must be on the menu aswell as working 24/7 and seeing 2 men at once.

 :FF  :FF  :FF  :FF

They really get on my tits.....where are all the decent clients at?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ScarletWoman on 12 October 2013, 02:24:44 pm
Quote from: KaylaCouture on 28 September 2013, 03:12:19 am
This is a new low! (The text was split up into 4 separate ones, and I just copied and pasted it):

Idiot: (1/4) My god ur beautiful. . this might sound kinda odd but mutually beneficial. Would you trade a 15 minute quickie for frozen DiGiorno pizza? I'll give you t
Idiot: (2/4) wo cases. Each csdr has 12 pizzas in it. That's 24 pizzas. They sell for around $7 each that comes out to about 170. They can actually be returned to any
Idiot: (3/4) Safeway, release, Bel Air, or Walmart for either cash or store credit. I actually work for a distributor for DiGiorno and return pizzas quite often that's
Idiot: (4/4) why I can't do it to just pay you cash. But if you want to do a trade it's totally worth it. What do you think?

TOTALLY worth it, don't you girls think?

We totally need a hall of fame for these beauties. Best thing I've heard in ages.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 13 October 2013, 06:28:34 am
I think I better stop reading this thread because it just makes me rage with anger!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 13 October 2013, 11:03:57 am
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 03 October 2013, 02:29:20 pm
I have had the best!

Hi I am a bank manager and I would like to trade with you an hour ofyour time for my finacial advice and  ?30. I think someone has been watching too much of Deal or no Deal.

i thought all bankers were wankers so wouldn't even need sex
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 13 October 2013, 02:58:01 pm
I love this thread it makes me giggle HAHA. I know what you mean about bankers, they've been F*cking us up the ass for years and now he wants to pay for it. No woners we are in a recession! haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 15 October 2013, 02:47:57 pm

Hi Gorgeous,

I'm new here, so I suppose that I kinda need a bit advise babe!!

I love my girlfriend to bits ok, need a little bit more in the bedroom dept, she needs taught how to give a good BJ & she only fucks me sitting on top,..AAAAAAAARRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!, HELP, SOS, SOS!!!

I live up in Central Scotland and wish I lived near your pretty little self.

Ps,...I MUST SAY,..YOU ARE THE MOST CUTEST GIRLON THIS SITE BABE.

Please let me know if you ever cum upto Scotland babe pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez

Take care gorgeous XX G.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: evabraun on 15 October 2013, 07:39:23 pm
one of my clients after forth or fifth meeting asked for "a discount for regulars". I had charged ?70 for
a half an hour then so said you can have ?5 discount every second time you see me!Now I charge ?80,but
that guy every second time sees me and pays ?65 ;D.Thanx Got he's quick and so funny
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 15 October 2013, 09:48:25 pm
OMG, just when you think you've heard it all, someone else comes and tops it...

HI WOULD YOU LET MY GIRLFRIEND HYPNOTIZE YOU DURING A MEETING, SHE IS VERY GOOD AT IT AND IT WOULD BE SAFE.
JN

Hmmmm. Now let me think about that..... ::)

I don't know whether to play with him or just delete and block! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 16 October 2013, 12:01:02 am
Quote from: MissKylie on 15 October 2013, 02:47:57 pm

Hi Gorgeous,

I'm new here, so I suppose that I kinda need a bit advise babe!!

I love my girlfriend to bits ok, need a little bit more in the bedroom dept, she needs taught how to give a good BJ & she only fucks me sitting on top,..AAAAAAAARRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!, HELP, SOS, SOS!!!

I live up in Central Scotland and wish I lived near your pretty little self.

Ps,...I MUST SAY,..YOU ARE THE MOST CUTEST GIRLON THIS SITE BABE.

Please let me know if you ever cum upto Scotland babe pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez

Take care gorgeous XX G.

I was reading this and thought hmmmmm thats very familiar then I seen the bit about him being in Central Scotland lol I am in Glasgow so I have had this exact email before. The guys fulla shit, I blocked him a while ago so he must copy and paste it to a shed load of girls up and down the country.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: evabraun on 16 October 2013, 03:59:32 pm
"Hi can you do 6 days booking I can pay 40.000 and I can give you 20.000 deposit today if you are available
 can you pls text me or call." ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 16 October 2013, 06:52:13 pm
Just got this beauty from a vivastreet wordsmith...


Hi h r u
What ur prize dear
Thanks

I'm too tired to think of a witty comeback for him, though something tells me it would be lost on him!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 16 October 2013, 08:16:50 pm
vivastreet does attract that special kind of person doesn't it
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 16 October 2013, 09:01:56 pm
Quote from: evabraun on 16 October 2013, 03:59:32 pm
"Hi can you do 6 days booking I can pay 40.000 and I can give you 20.000 deposit today if you are available
 can you pls text me or call." ::)
This guy has be sending the same bullshit message for years, calling himself 'Jay' most of the time. He changes the amount though mostly 10 or 12k. When I first started I was stupid enough to actually think it might be legit. I don't know what he exactly wants out of it, just phone chat I think, that's what happened with me anyway. I never gave him any of my details thank god!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 16 October 2013, 09:25:05 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 16 October 2013, 08:16:50 pm
vivastreet does attract that special kind of person doesn't it
And this is exactly the reason I don't bother with VivaStreet...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 17 October 2013, 02:02:51 pm
Quote from: evabraun on 16 October 2013, 03:59:32 pm
"Hi can you do 6 days booking I can pay 40.000 and I can give you 20.000 deposit today if you are available
 can you pls text me or call." ::)

I had this exact message when I was in Kensington last year during the Olympics only he told me he was contacting me on the behalf of a Sheikh lol  ::)

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: evabraun on 18 October 2013, 09:57:36 pm
only he told me he was contacting me on the behalf of a Sheikh  ;D ;D
what a freak :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 19 October 2013, 03:38:12 am
silly man: Hi I was wondering if you were available today for an outcall

Me: yes I am

Silly man: how much

Me: (go through price list)

Sillyman: oh thats a bit more expensive then what I thought

Me:ok well thats a shame

Sillyman: you see I was looking for something free

Me: sorry, you were calling a prostitute for free sex, you're doing it wrong

Sillyman: well couldn't you do it one off for free sex

Me: I tell you what I'll do you a deal you have thirty seconds in order to convince me to have sex with you for free, if you convince me then I will see you, GO!

Sillyman, well I love oral and I have a big cock, oh shit what else, erm I'm fit, er, I really fancy you, oh er, I dunno this is hard.

Me: I'm sorry but the answer I was looking for is that you are George Clooney, I'm afraid you havn't been successful at this time but have you enjoyed yourself,

Sillyman: *Hangs up*


I was so proud of myself I wish I had this call recorded! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 19 October 2013, 02:52:02 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 19 October 2013, 03:38:12 am
silly man: Hi I was wondering if you were available today for an outcall

Me: yes I am

Silly man: how much

Me: (go through price list)

Sillyman: oh thats a bit more expensive then what I thought

Me:ok well thats a shame

Sillyman: you see I was looking for something free

Me: sorry, you were calling a prostitute for free sex, you're doing it wrong

Sillyman: well couldn't you do it one off for free sex

Me: I tell you what I'll do you a deal you have thirty seconds in order to convince me to have sex with you for free, if you convince me then I will see you, GO!

Sillyman, well I love oral and I have a big cock, oh shit what else, erm I'm fit, er, I really fancy you, oh er, I dunno this is hard.

Me: I'm sorry but the answer I was looking for is that you are George Clooney, I'm afraid you havn't been successful at this time but have you enjoyed yourself,

Sillyman: *Hangs up*


I was so proud of myself I wish I had this call recorded!

I absolutely LOVE this!! :D ;D :D ;D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wonderlass on 20 October 2013, 10:37:43 am
Lovely call yesterday -

"Hello, where are you based?"
"It tells you on my profile."
"I know, but which station are you near to?"
"It also tells you that on my profile but it's 'name-of-station'"
"I just had a number of requests."
"Sure, go ahead."
"Can you get hold of any drugs?"
"No, what the hell?"
*click*

Yep, drug-addled is what I am. I could make a killing in dealing paracetamol. Got some Berocca as well, if anyone's interested.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 20 October 2013, 10:43:57 am
Quote from: wonderlass on 20 October 2013, 10:37:43 am
Got some Berocca as well, if anyone's interested.  :FF

*looks interested*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 21 October 2013, 07:54:57 pm
I just had some guy phone me up for domination which I don't do and he knows it but he said he thought that I would still like a domestic service. As if?? Whats wrong with these people?? Lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 21 October 2013, 10:30:44 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 21 October 2013, 07:54:57 pm
I just had some guy phone me up for domination which I don't do and he knows it but he said he thought that I would still like a domestic service. As if?? Whats wrong with these people?? Lol!
A hell of a lot...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FakePlasticTrees on 22 October 2013, 09:03:54 am
I've had a few emails (through my gmail account) from the same guy asking if I'm available so I eventually replied saying "When would you like a booking, where are you situated etc". He then replies "do you have a face pic or more naughty ones". I immediately knew he was a TW and replied "If you would like a booking then please pay a deposit fee of ?50 and we can go from there". To which I get this response....

"fick u and ur deposit whore I deposit cum u little bitch"

☝😒
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luna on 22 October 2013, 12:24:04 pm
I am an erotic masseuse, I just do massage and hand jobs, with a little strip tease and i'm wearing just a thong for the massage.

I have a guy call me today who says something along the lines of, I want a massage, are you available now? I tell him i'll be available in an hour. He asks my address, I say I only give that out once a booking has been made. Then he goes on about how he's this rich businessman who doesn't waste peoples' time and is trustworthy blah blah blah. Anyway, I text him my website for him to browse and come back to me if he wants a booking. Then we have this text exchange:

Him: Oh sorry it's the wrong type of massage. You can do a lot better too. Just believe on yourself. (On?!)
Me: I actually really like my job and i'm doing it to pay for law school, but thanks anyway.
Him: What if someone offered you ?150? What would you do? It's temptation.
Him: Well?
Him: ?150?
Me: I'd say thanks, but I only actually charge ?70 per hour and do massage and hand relief only. Now stop wasting my credit.
Him: I was trying to keep away from young girls like you. Name your price and you'll have enough credit for months.
Him: Send amount and address and on my way. Girls who study law like rich guys.
Me: Ok, 1 million pounds.
Him: Come on. Be smart. You'll even like me and we can have a special arrangement. Don't let a good opportunity slip...
Him: Okay so lets do basic and see if I even think you are pretty. Postcode for simple service please?
Me: Get lost you weirdo.
Him: Shame. I liked you on the phone. You sounded nice, cute even.
Him: Bye.
Him: I'm sorry. Stupid me. I'd love to see you. Have time on my hands and cash to spend. We got on well on the phone. Another chance?
Him: We both like feet too so that's in common ;)
Him: Shall I call to beg?
Him: Calls - I ignore.

That's all so far, but i'm sure he'll start again soon. All of those texts were in a 30 min period!

So what do you think ladies, I get enough credit for months and i'll even like him! That's if he even thinks i'm pretty after a 'basic'. And I don't like feet you moron, I just offer a foot worship service because I know freaks like you do like 'em! What a weirdo!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 22 October 2013, 03:11:52 pm
Quote from: Luna on 22 October 2013, 12:24:04 pm
I am an erotic masseuse, I just do massage and hand jobs, with a little strip tease and i'm wearing just a thong for the massage.

I have a guy call me today who says something along the lines of, I want a massage, are you available now? I tell him i'll be available in an hour. He asks my address, I say I only give that out once a booking has been made. Then he goes on about how he's this rich businessman who doesn't waste peoples' time and is trustworthy blah blah blah. Anyway, I text him my website for him to browse and come back to me if he wants a booking. Then we have this text exchange:

Him: Oh sorry it's the wrong type of massage. You can do a lot better too. Just believe on yourself. (On?!)
Me: I actually really like my job and i'm doing it to pay for law school, but thanks anyway.
Him: What if someone offered you ?150? What would you do? It's temptation.
Him: Well?
Him: ?150?
Me: I'd say thanks, but I only actually charge ?70 per hour and do massage and hand relief only. Now stop wasting my credit.
Him: I was trying to keep away from young girls like you. Name your price and you'll have enough credit for months.
Him: Send amount and address and on my way. Girls who study law like rich guys.
Me: Ok, 1 million pounds.
Him: Come on. Be smart. You'll even like me and we can have a special arrangement. Don't let a good opportunity slip...
Him: Okay so lets do basic and see if I even think you are pretty. Postcode for simple service please?
Me: Get lost you weirdo.
Him: Shame. I liked you on the phone. You sounded nice, cute even.
Him: Bye.
Him: I'm sorry. Stupid me. I'd love to see you. Have time on my hands and cash to spend. We got on well on the phone. Another chance?
Him: We both like feet too so that's in common ;)
Him: Shall I call to beg?
Him: Calls - I ignore.

That's all so far, but i'm sure he'll start again soon. All of those texts were in a 30 min period!

So what do you think ladies, I get enough credit for months and i'll even like him! That's if he even thinks i'm pretty after a 'basic'. And I don't like feet you moron, I just offer a foot worship service because I know freaks like you do like 'em! What a weirdo!

Hi Luna

I am not sure if your a newbie or not but I used to entertain these guys with texts but really it just makes your blood boil in the end as well as having a lot less credit so now I just ignore them and block them, that's the best thing you can do.

xx


P.S I hate feet too but I don't mind seeing a client with a foot fetish aslong as its him worshiping my feet and not the other way around lol, yes complete moron.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 24 October 2013, 11:47:15 am
Has there been a full moon or something the past 10 days?  How else to explain the explosion of idiots, TWs, morons, cheapskates, walkouts (not to mention out and out wierdos!) who have been plaguing me.

Latest one this morning.....rings up, ascertains where I'm based, then:

Moron: Oh I'm in Morrisons.... my heart sinks as its yet another last minuter (Morrisons is around 10 minutes away)
Me: I need an hours notice minumum

Upon learning I'm on tour from tomorrow...

Moron: Is there anyone else you know in X town?
Me:I don't make recommendations, I suggest you go and look for yourself  ***hangs up***

Which I thought was incredibly self restrained of me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 24 October 2013, 06:16:14 pm
Just got one of my favourite one liner emails...................

hi looking for a 4 with 3 female escorts can u help?


I've written that I do not work with other escorts and the type of service I offer is very clear all over my profile.

My relaxed GFE with (vanilla services) does not include a 4sum (assuming that's what he actually means)  :FF  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 26 October 2013, 02:21:17 pm
Hi darling,

My name is N..., I'm 32 years old. I am living in X town.
I am looking for some naughty time with a lady

I am fun and really don't want any hassle or problems, that is why I'm detailing so much in this email.


I am 5'11"
I have a good personality and would like to meet someone for 24 hours, maybe longer.


I have been told I am nice by girls so I cant be that bad. The reason im here is because I (think) I have a latex fetish/fantasy/ I would like to meet a lady why would like to dress up in tight shiny clothing and we can have sex. I have some porn links of outfits and activities I like.

I DO NOT LIKE PAIN, not for me or for you. I want normal Horny sex with plenty of Cumming, I would also like if you can cum also. I really get off on working on a lady to make her cum.

Below is some of my likes but not necessarily a must.

cum in mouth

licking pussy

not afraid of getting messy when I cum

maybe have a friend you would like to bring along (female only)

I do not like to be dominated but I am a gentle as you like.

I genuinely just want some hardcore innocent fun with a very sexy lady who can be a naughty slut in the bedroom.

I have no problem meeting girls but in Ireland a naughty one who likes getting kinky in tight shiny clothing is very hard to find, If I do she normally does not look pretty.

Please let me know your rates and a picture if possible to email address at gmail dot com. --------- is my mobile.

It is not my intension to degrade or insult anyone, it is just what I want to do for a weekend.


http://video-one.com/video/0614ef937...t%20of%20view)



http://video-one.com/video/09c662794...t%20of%20view)



I love the different leggings on the lady above



http://video-one.com/video/f8a99371c...cco%20Siffredi


http://video-one.com/video/e887d6eef...1deae7e9a.html

http://video-one.com/video/2d7ae1e92...7d58c0886.html

http://video-one.com/video/181134cd6...html?fid=Latex

http://beeg.com/5674429

I really like the oufits in the above.


http://video-one.com/video/3a12cbbfa...html?fid=Latex

http://video-one.com/video/b19e518e7...html?fid=Latex

http://video-one.com/video/b5901a1f7...html?fid=Latex



Best regards,

N...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 26 October 2013, 05:33:47 pm
Quote from: foreign affairs on 26 October 2013, 02:21:17 pm
{snips}
would like to meet someone for 24 hours, maybe longer.

{snips}

The reason im here is because I (think) I have a latex fetish/fantasy/ I would like to meet a lady why would like to dress up in tight shiny clothing and we can have sex. I have some porn links of outfits and activities I like.

I DO NOT LIKE PAIN, not for me or for you. I want normal Horny sex with plenty of Cumming, I would also like if you can cum also. I really get off on working on a lady to make her cum.

{snips}

Jesus...24 hours or more of latex and sex and plenty of cumming.  Just think how raw your clit (let alone your whole body!) would be after that. It would also be swollen to the size of a small willy ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 26 October 2013, 05:51:59 pm
ROFL.  After the second line I lost interest and almost fell asleep. How boring  :FF  :FF  What a lucky escape.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 26 October 2013, 10:24:00 pm
Quote from: MissKylie on 21 October 2013, 10:30:44 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 21 October 2013, 07:54:57 pm
I just had some guy phone me up for domination which I don't do and he knows it but he said he thought that I would still like a domestic service. As if?? Whats wrong with these people?? Lol!
A hell of a lot...


Ive been getting hounded by guys who want to "kindly offer" their free cleaning and domestic services since day 1. Ignore/block/delete ...Dont get into a dialouge with them as they will try their best to convince you you will be getting the best free cleaner to do the jobs you hate. The reality is they dont just want to clean , they want to be humilated while they clean , by a woman dressed in fetish clothes .


Just the sort of thing they would have to PAY a Mistress for . They are similar to the "I can do you some profile pics for free"  guys ...these types of guys are sorry , broke -  assed paupers who try and manipulate you into thinking your getting something for nothing , the only one getting summat for nowt is these men.

I feel for it once , his cleaning was crap BTW. They spend most of the time admiring their frilly knickers in the mirror....waste of my time. These days I have proper slaves who do clean right and PAY for the pleasure.
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 24 October 2013, 06:16:14 pm
Just got one of my favourite one liner emails...................

hi looking for a 4 with 3 female escorts can u help?


I've written that I do not work with other escorts and the type of service I offer is very clear all over my profile.

My relaxed GFE with (vanilla services) does not include a 4sum (assuming that's what he actually means)  :FF  :FF

Is that in west yorks BTW ? Just got similar email.

Have done one client n 3 girls before so he may be genuine but i know its infuriating that he is askign for services you dont offer.

A lot of guys are browsing AW on smartphones and they get the PDA version of the site.

Its a smaller version and the profiles on PDA version are basically your main profile pic , and a number and your strapline ......no full info , no FAQs ect ..............Very annoying as the guys assume thats all the info there is and then the questions and emails start , but its  not the guys fault .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 26 October 2013, 10:39:19 pm
Hey sweetie

No I am in Glasgow, some of them send that many emails they don't even notice where they are sending them.

I totally agree with what you said about the domestic cleaners, they want they're kinks. When I am not working, I don't want any client around me never mind parading around my flat and private stuff.

Some people will think I am obsessed with the word delusional, but really I cannot believe how many of these men are delusional, its mind boggling.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 26 October 2013, 10:50:13 pm
Quote from: Luna on 22 October 2013, 12:24:04 pm


Him: Okay so lets do basic and see if I even think you are pretty. Postcode for simple service please?


What an arrogant plonker !!! Sounds like the sort of timewasting eejit who turns up just to have a "look" , then has "left his wallet in car" .

Dont even waste your credit on these eejits :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 26 October 2013, 11:00:15 pm
Has anyone had a email on AW off "FanFan1" , or one of his many aliases ?


He asks for you to destroy his cock with a pen. A picture a woman hater who lives in Mummys attic who is making an amateurish attempt on getting someone to agree to unlawful wounding via email. Deffo one with issues but I can see AW booting him any time soon , even though hes prob never spent ?1 on the site. No feedback .
If so can you do us all a favour and report him for spamming to AW. I put in a complaint and pointed out that his mass spamming campaign is a waste of AWs bandwidth and resources , so it would be wise to boot him for financial reasons if nothing else ( seen as AW don't take escorts been harassed seriously ).

I looked at his aliases and number of emails sent , he is logging in under 4 different aliases DAILY and sending over 500 emails ( all the same copy n paste) daily !!

I don't usually dignify these losers with a reply , but I asked him what fun he gets out of sending 5oo emails a day , where does he find the time ? Could be an interesting insight into the mind of prize clown.

Got a nice nasty email back as he was annoyed I'd " added up his emails" .. He is obviously ignorant to how AW works and what info we can see at our end.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 27 October 2013, 12:16:01 am
Cant say he's been in contact with me thankfully but why not block him? x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 27 October 2013, 07:18:59 pm
So today I have been plagued by timewasters, including:

1 cancellation, 1 no show,
1 guy too 'nervous' to call (how the heck will he get to a booking then?)
2 or 3 expecting me to guarantee my USP
1 silent caller

and yesterday evening's selection......

1 bareback chancer insisting that 'hundreds' of girls on AW agree to BB
1 guy asking to meet in a pub as he 'lived with his mum and couldn't invite me back there', then asked for a car meet, err wtf is wrong with an incall?!

Also the 2 weeks prior to this I seem to have got more than my fair share of TWs, cheapskates and out and out wierdos...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 28 October 2013, 02:36:44 pm
Had a silent caller today too. Probably the same dude.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 28 October 2013, 02:47:39 pm
also i got the 40,000 grand text. there is a thread in question and answers about it, i called it life changing booking.

turns out it was a life changing booking even though he was of course a fake. he called himself dilip not jay and said he was in the top 10 richest. got him on cam so i know i know it is him. i have a face pic of him.

and i know for a fact this is the man!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 28 October 2013, 06:23:38 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 27 October 2013, 12:16:01 am
Cant say he's been in contact with me thankfully but why not block him? x


He is blocked, It irks me that men liek him who send 600 mails a day are allowed to remain though.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 29 October 2013, 08:21:49 pm
Had someone ask me today if he could see me in exchange for an iPhone 3  ::)

I cant even remember what the iPhone 3 looks like, it was that long ago not that I would ever accept anything other than cash anyway.

 ::)  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 31 October 2013, 02:14:02 pm
Idiot......Who's This?
Me.........You should know cause you contacted me!
Idiot.......If I told you I was a 25 year boy ripped body high cock would u be interested in making a movie
Me.........No thanks, goodbye!

I have no idea what a high cock is  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 31 October 2013, 03:06:21 pm
Something to do with plumbing I think :-)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 31 October 2013, 03:06:55 pm
or his cock has a coke problem :-)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 31 October 2013, 04:15:15 pm
Hahahaha, feck knows. He text me after all this saying NO THANK U so I text back saying you are one very strange individual, please don't contact me again and remember to take your medication.

I haven't heard from him since thankfully.

Just very strange lol.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 31 October 2013, 04:21:46 pm
Quote from: ClaireJayne on 31 October 2013, 03:06:55 pm
or his cock has a coke problem :-)

One client told me sometimes he puts coke on his johnson because it will be senbsitive but last for ages, Come to think of it he wasnt able to cum that time.... hmmm ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 31 October 2013, 04:31:28 pm
Was he trying to snort it with his Penis  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 31 October 2013, 04:32:36 pm
Id just never see a client that I knew was taking something even if it was just on the end of his cock x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 31 October 2013, 04:52:57 pm
Lol I didn't know he was taking anything but yeah now I think about it he probably was. There was ALOT of talking. I found it hard to answer with a full mouth haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 31 October 2013, 05:14:37 pm
When you say these things, I imagine the cat in your profile picture it talking lol I can see how it would be hard to talk with your mouthful as a cat hehehe
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 01 November 2013, 12:40:18 pm
Just has some idiot call and ask me 'can you tell me more about yourself' No as that's on the profile and he responds with 'so can you tell me why you should be the lucky escort I choose to visit today'   Wanker!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 01 November 2013, 02:54:55 pm
I had a guy who said the exact same thing to me in Belfast once. I told him to fuck off and that all info is on my profile, if that doesn't make you want to see me over anyone else then that's up to you but I am not gonna beg you especially with that attitude.

He then harassed me every time I went on tour after that. He's either a timewaster or really doesn't understand the words I AM NOT INTERESTED, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE!

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luna on 01 November 2013, 09:12:08 pm
I know this one's been done before, but just got the "I run a porn site and i'm looking for someone in the adult industry to have a relationship with, as I find all other women run a mile when they find out what I do (I wonder why?!) and I just want someone who understands the industry. I have no problem with you escorting and I just would love to go on a date and see where things go" email.

I know it's childish, but I couldn't resist responding with:

Yes! I've finally got one of these copy and paste emails, i'm part of the club! Look sweetie, everyone knows what you're doing with your ridiculous round robin messages. And you can't 'really like my profile', considering you obviously haven't read it. I'm not an escort, I am an erotic masseuse (just massage and handjobs). Also, i'm in a 4 year long, serious, monogamous relationship. So I don't think i'll be taking you up on your generous offer of a relationship, but thank you for sending me this email and making a newbie feel like part of the club!

Luna

Teehee!  :P

Edit: I just realised the "i'm not an escort, just an erotic masseuse" line could come off a little snobby. I didn't mean it that way (i'm still essentially a sex worker) and have nothing but respect for escorts, you guys have way more balls than me! I'd be one myself if I was brave enough!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 01 November 2013, 11:45:01 pm
I've had that message too though it was a good while ago........DELUSIONAL!  ::)

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KaylaCouture on 03 November 2013, 02:14:15 pm
I've been browsing this thread, and reading some of the funniest ones to my boyfriend. Ones like:
"Id like two hours with you, and instead of cash payment I will give you a kitten from the new litter I have. She has some health problems but it's still really cute." Or:
"What do I get for $25"

And my bf made me laugh so hard, he said we should just respond, "I'll tell you what, I'll come over, and you give me the [kitten/$25/etc] and I'll give you a high-five, and then you can go use that hand to wack-off." :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 03 November 2013, 08:44:33 pm
Just got this beaut..............

Hi there,

I?d like to make a booking with you and was curious if you offered bareback sex at all?

Regards


I don't even do OWO FFS  :FF

He has feedback aswell for escort meets so no excuse for being such a dick.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 03 November 2013, 08:58:00 pm
"You must deal with lots of men who are rude and difficult, so I'm no different you'll be used to it"

Eh?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 03 November 2013, 09:12:11 pm
Strawberry, you speaking to me?  :D

We all have to deal with rude and difficult people, lets face it I never come on here and rant about decent clients (none of us do) the whole forum is filled with experiences shared about BAD clients but I must say although I get used to it, sometimes I do still think WTF is this idiot thinking? Lol.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 03 November 2013, 09:48:39 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 03 November 2013, 09:12:11 pm
Strawberry, you speaking to me?  :D

We all have to deal with rude and difficult people, lets face it I never come on here and rant about decent clients (none of us do) the whole forum is filled with experiences shared about BAD clients but I must say although I get used to it, sometimes I do still think WTF is this idiot thinking? Lol.

xx

I was posting a line from a particularly difficult conversation this evening which left me preferring to read pages of academia, & not eat the chocolate(things are really bad when I lose desire for food) rather than answer my telephone. I'm not aware it was pointed at you.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 03 November 2013, 10:35:00 pm
Quote from: Strawberry on 03 November 2013, 09:48:39 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 03 November 2013, 09:12:11 pm
Strawberry, you speaking to me?  :D

We all have to deal with rude and difficult people, lets face it I never come on here and rant about decent clients (none of us do) the whole forum is filled with experiences shared about BAD clients but I must say although I get used to it, sometimes I do still think WTF is this idiot thinking? Lol.

xx

I was posting a line from a particularly difficult conversation this evening which left me preferring to read pages of academia, & not eat the chocolate(things are really bad when I lose desire for food) rather than answer my telephone. I'm not aware it was pointed at you.

I thought you were talking to me cause you wrote under my comment. Its cool x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 03 November 2013, 11:32:32 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 03 November 2013, 08:44:33 pm
Just got this beaut..............

Hi there,

I?d like to make a booking with you and was curious if you offered bareback sex at all?

Regards


I don't even do OWO FFS  :FF

He has feedback aswell for escort meets so no excuse for being such a dick.

Quite a few men will ask this to see what your reply is, in the hope that you will answer "no, never", and then book you. There are quite a lot of escorts who claim to never do BB or OWO etc, yet the feeback/field reports tell a different story.

Always best to reply with "no I don't" rather than block them, as you may be missing out on bookings with men who are double checking that you definitely don't! :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 03 November 2013, 11:41:26 pm
I sent him an email saying You have got to be kidding me? I do not even offer OWO then I blocked him!!

I hear what your saying but I think that would be a very silly tactic of any genuine client to pull on a girl like me. Its not something I would entertain at all and I very much doubt he was doing reverse psychology on me.

Defo just a rude man who has either not read my profile or has read it but has ignored it and boundary pushed to the max.

I'd never want to meet anyone who boundary pushes nevermind meeting someone who asks for that.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 04 November 2013, 12:51:52 am
that's cool, gut feelings rule  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 05 November 2013, 08:49:27 am
Got a guy asking me what he can get for ?30 so I said you can fuck yourself for ?30 so he said remember your just a whore. I said no shit, goodbye.

Second time in a month that's happened. 2 different numbers though so I don't know if its the same guy or not!

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 05 November 2013, 01:16:44 pm
Just got a text from the other guy from a couple of weeks ago asking what he can get for ?30 saying.........

Can a shag you  ::)

Lol no thanks ya little creep!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissLarissa on 05 November 2013, 02:06:17 pm
I got a bit tired of guys asking for discounts so i have a few generic replies which i use and never hear from them again. So if they ask "can you do this and this for ?20?" i usually say:

(with a creepy voice)I can't, the stars aren't in position.
It's against my code of conduct as a voodoo priestess to lower my rates.
I can't, not since the accident...
I can't, i need the money to add a new wing in the Louvre dedicated to my vagina.
If i lower my rates for you, i will have to sacrifice a goat in Satan's name to balance everything out.
My fortune-teller advised me against it.

Call me crazy, but they do work :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 05 November 2013, 06:55:10 pm
Email from random website

Hi, please dont get angry I know this is not the place to meet someone special. Worse place in fact. I am 38 I'm looking for love. I know how stupid but thought tried the dating sites, tried life, why not try a beautiful woman she can say no thats all. Thanks for reading. gavin.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 05 November 2013, 08:12:38 pm
Well at least he already knows his "looking for love" on a paid sex website is rather stupid, however if that's the email he sent you then at least he's not rude about it which is always a plus. Its the rude, crude, extremely weird ones I cant stand.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HollyH on 05 November 2013, 08:40:58 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 05 November 2013, 08:57:03 pm
Ok, had someone ring me about a week ago...

him:-hello miss (or so i thought, sounded like something else but i put that aside) do you see black guys and oral?
me:- yes i do
him:- ah good bitch, good bitch, do you do outcalls?
me:- erm excuse me did you just say what I think you just said?
him:- wha? you just have a problem with black guys innit
me:-no i just don't like being talked to like that
him:- whatever, you just don't like black guys
me:-no i don't have a problem with...

click.

Why oh why was it it not me who clicked.

He was literally addressing me as bitch the whole time I would not have expected it so i almost sub-consciously dismissed it and the line was a bit muffled :\

Sorry but i do not expect to be talked to like that maybe in a role-play discussed beforehand but not right of the bloody cuff!!

What a totally rude TW!

Not sure if other ladies had the same kind of call... >.<
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 06 November 2013, 01:51:20 am
Quote from: curvy_girl on 05 November 2013, 08:57:03 pm
Ok, had someone ring me about a week ago...

him:-hello miss (or so i thought, sounded like something else but i put that aside) do you see black guys and oral?
me:- yes i do
him:- ah good bitch, good bitch, do you do outcalls?
me:- erm excuse me did you just say what I think you just said?
him:- wha? you just have a problem with black guys innit
me:-no i just don't like being talked to like that
him:- whatever, you just don't like black guys
me:-no i don't have a problem with...

click.

Why oh why was it it not me who clicked.

He was literally addressing me as bitch the whole time I would not have expected it so i almost sub-consciously dismissed it and the line was a bit muffled :\

Sorry but i do not expect to be talked to like that maybe in a role-play discussed beforehand but not right of the bloody cuff!!

What a totally rude TW!

Not sure if other ladies had the same kind of call... >.<

Reminds me of Ali G, "Is it because I is Black?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 06 November 2013, 10:55:39 am
Hahahaha, what does innit even mean? I hate that. I wouldn't have entertained that call AT ALL and nothing because of the colour of his skin but because of his attitude form the start x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 06 November 2013, 11:32:48 am
Yea I know lol. What a plonker!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 06 November 2013, 01:02:51 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 06 November 2013, 10:55:39 am
Hahahaha, what does innit even mean? I hate that. I wouldn't have entertained that call AT ALL and nothing because of the colour of his skin but because of his attitude form the start x

It's a contraction of "isn't it". I use it occasionally because I'm from Saaaf London (that's South London, in case anyone's confused, lol), but I don't have an "urban ghetto" accent.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 06 November 2013, 01:13:57 pm
Yeah I thought that's what it means but it doesn't make sense the way some use it like...............

You have a problem with black guys isn't it (innit)??!!

Lol I actually like the South London accent, it has character but the whole innit things silly.

I am from Glasgow though, we have a whole other language of our own that's pretty silly too.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 06 November 2013, 03:20:03 pm
innit is pretty prevelant in leicester too lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 07 November 2013, 07:37:37 pm
Just got a text saying.........

Hey Naomi it's Graeme Millar, I used to work with you. Can I book you out please?

Seriously some guys will do anything just to get a reply from an escort.

Unless he worked with me in a Beauty Salon, I doubt we worked together and nor is my name Naomi and for the record I don't know anyone called Graeme Millar.

 ::)  ::)  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 07 November 2013, 07:44:20 pm
Now just text saying..........

Can I get my hole?

CREEP!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 07 November 2013, 07:55:03 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 07 November 2013, 07:44:20 pm
Now just text saying..........

Can I get my hole?

CREEP!

I would said if you want your own hole go dig one.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 07 November 2013, 10:24:43 pm
Hahaha, I will say that in future  ;D xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 07 November 2013, 11:15:42 pm
Quote from: curvy_girl on 07 November 2013, 07:55:03 pm
I would said if you want your own hole go dig one.

I almost want somebody to call and ask me that now  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 09 November 2013, 10:47:00 am
Woke up this morning to a whole bunch of phone calls and texts from a guy at 3am then onto AW where he'd emailed me too saying..........

I have been trying to phone you for an appointment but you must be busy. Can I see you

BUSY??? I was fucking sleeping like everyone else  :FF

There is a tab on  my profile with my working hours on it and at the very top of my profile it says in BOLD that I do not meet anyone who doesn't read my profile.

If he'd gone to all the trouble of texts, phone calls, emails then you'd think it may have occurred to him that I wasn't a 24/7 ROBOT.

I don't see ignorant people during the day so I certainly aren't gonna be servicing them during the nite no doubt DRUNK!!

And they would be the first to leave you a bad review saying you looked like shit as if you'd rolled out of bed lol, don't they realise that you don't roll out of bed looking the way you do in your profile pics? All the hair and make-up? Its delusional, inconsiderate and unrealistic.

Sorry but ignorance like that really rattles my cage  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JulietteTV on 09 November 2013, 08:01:40 pm

I know its just that sort of client for whom I make sure the phone's on silent overnight so I can actually get some sleep...If they're so keen to see you why don't they ever call up during your actual working hours?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 10 November 2013, 02:18:27 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 09 November 2013, 10:47:00 am
Woke up this morning to a whole bunch of phone calls and texts from a guy at 3am then onto AW where he'd emailed me too saying..........

I have been trying to phone you for an appointment but you must be busy. Can I see you

BUSY??? I was fucking sleeping like everyone else  :FF

There is a tab on  my profile with my working hours on it and at the very top of my profile it says in BOLD that I do not meet anyone who doesn't read my profile.

If he'd gone to all the trouble of texts, phone calls, emails then you'd think it may have occurred to him that I wasn't a 24/7 ROBOT.

I don't see ignorant people during the day so I certainly aren't gonna be servicing them during the nite no doubt DRUNK!!

And they would be the first to leave you a bad review saying you looked like shit as if you'd rolled out of bed lol, don't they realise that you don't roll out of bed looking the way you do in your profile pics? All the hair and make-up? Its delusional, inconsiderate and unrealistic.

Sorry but ignorance like that really rattles my cage  >:(

Some people only see us as a product and a thing that has no pulse no feelings and no need for sleeping and eating is available at all hours and will always be at their best.

Next time ask for an address and send them a fucking blow up doll :P

Gets my gripe too. Thank goodness the great and amazing clients who make it worth going through the idiots!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lunar Moon on 10 November 2013, 07:25:04 pm
Quote from: JulietteTV on 09 November 2013, 08:01:40 pm

I know its just that sort of client for whom I make sure the phone's on silent overnight so I can actually get some sleep...If they're so keen to see you why don't they ever call up during your actual working hours?

I know gets my goat these idiots - My phone is always on silent from 7pm until 9am (its quite clear on my profile my working times) makes me chuckle texts from 11pm til sometimes 5am !! 'Are you free babe ?'  - Always want to reply 'Never Free but Always Worth It' lol !

Quote from: curvy_girl on 10 November 2013, 02:18:27 pm

Gets my gripe too. Thank goodness the great and amazing clients who make it worth going through the idiots!

Well said, thank goodness for lovely regulars and the new respectful guys that I meet each week.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady c on 11 November 2013, 10:48:36 pm
Several calls from a timewaster then this one!! A new client,
You ready?
Me:I beg your pardon
Him: you ready for me now, me want see you.

Ah ok you must book  I am busy today, him, you sure I can come see you now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 11 November 2013, 11:28:24 pm
Email convo earlier - only just stopped laughing!

HIM: wot can I have for ?10

ME: you can have me laughing as I delete your email


Best laugh in ages.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 13 November 2013, 02:14:26 am
silly man: Hi I really want to see you today.

me: Ok, just to make you aware I am outcalls only today

silly man: Nah I need to see you where do you live?

me: sorry I'm not sure you understand I am only doing outcalls today but I am doing incalls on Friday

silly man: are you sure I am discreet

me: I have told you I cannot accomodate you today

silly man: look I pay the money, that makes me boss so I will be coming round.

me: sorry I don't take direction to well. buh bye! 

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 13 November 2013, 12:52:51 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 13 November 2013, 02:14:26 am
silly man: look I pay the money, that makes me boss so I will be coming round.


This.


(I think he will find YOU are the boss of YOUR own business. He is a -client- not a damn boss :P)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LithyBony on 13 November 2013, 12:57:10 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 11 November 2013, 11:28:24 pm
Email convo earlier - only just stopped laughing!

HIM: wot can I have for ?10

ME: you can have me laughing as I delete your email


Best laugh in ages.

Hahaha good response

I had a similar email only it was for ?30 - I am not sure if they think this is a "buy now or best offer"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 13 November 2013, 01:08:46 pm
At this point i have had enough of cheapies asking for discount so this was my response.

Him:-

Hey, I am interested in your services, but I'd like to know what your lowest offer is? Cheers x


Me:-

If you can't afford the candy, don't go into the candy store.

I have bills to pay. Having a girl come to you or for you to visit her for her time doing whatever you wish for her to do with you is a luxury for men and women alike and not something I would not give out for a small fee.

The prices on [certain page of advertisement] are lower than what I offer as it is. Please look for a girl who is already at a lower price.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LithyBony on 13 November 2013, 02:11:57 pm
I have just had some one say that he dealt in shoes and I can pick some in return for payment.  :FF

I know I probably should have been offended but my warped sense of humour led me to burst out laughing.

I can't knock the hustle ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 13 November 2013, 02:44:43 pm
Ooooh I dunno it Depends on the shoes! If they were the irregular choice ones with the gnomes for heels I might take him up for that for 30 mins haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 13 November 2013, 08:55:20 pm
16 missed calls from the same guy in the space of a half hour  ::)

Yeah I am really gonna offer an appointment to a guy who's balls are so desperately bursting that bad that it didn't occur to him that I may have been busy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 14 November 2013, 04:54:22 pm
Have been in Belfast all this week and boy its a strange place at times. I have so many clients phone and ask me for an appointment then say they don't know if they can make it  ::)

For example the last one there just said..........

Him: Hello can I have an appointment for this evening?
Me: Sure, what time we're you thinking?
Him: 7.30pm?
Me: Yes that suits me, how long would you like to book for?
Him: Half an hour.
Me: Great I will see you at 7.30pm and I will text you the full details of where I am once I get off the phone.
Him: I don't know if I can make the booking so I will call nearer the time to let you know if I can or not.
Me:  OK well in that case I shall be giving the appointment to someone who does know if they can make they're appointment should they ask for it.

The last 2 calls I have had have been the exact same scenario only for a different time.

Talk about a pointless phone call  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 14 November 2013, 04:57:15 pm
Just got off the phone from a guy saying..............

Whats the best price you can offer me for a half hour?

Erm the one that's on my profile then I put the phone down. I am not a car FFS!

 ::)

Surely if they don't like my rates, they could easily phone someone who is more suitable to they're budget?

 ::)  ::)  ::)  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 14 November 2013, 05:22:18 pm
PP do you writte in this thread everyday? lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 14 November 2013, 07:18:34 pm
Yip just about lol, I am a magnet for the crazies xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 15 November 2013, 01:14:08 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 14 November 2013, 04:54:22 pm
Have been in Belfast all this week and boy its a strange place at times. I have so many clients phone and ask me for an appointment then say they don't know if they can make it  ::)

For example the last one there just said..........

Him: Hello can I have an appointment for this evening?
Me: Sure, what time we're you thinking?
Him: 7.30pm?
Me: Yes that suits me, how long would you like to book for?
Him: Half an hour.
Me: Great I will see you at 7.30pm and I will text you the full details of where I am once I get off the phone.
Him: I don't know if I can make the booking so I will call nearer the time to let you know if I can or not.
Me:  OK well in that case I shall be giving the appointment to someone who does know if they can make they're appointment should they ask for it.

The last 2 calls I have had have been the exact same scenario only for a different time.

Talk about a pointless phone call  ::)

Having worked in Ireland for a long time  i conclude that the Irish gents have 3 major pastimes
 Drinking

 Church
 
Ringing prostitutes and wasting there time  - its a national sport for the Irish gents that visit prostitutes like horse racing or gambling   
 Don't take it to heart  lol 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 15 November 2013, 04:42:25 pm
 ::)

'Subject:
apointmint

Message:
hi mistrees
iwant make session for 2 hours on 19 nov
regards
idiot'

and a curiously strong mint up the bum for that man
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 15 November 2013, 06:30:58 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 15 November 2013, 04:42:25 pm
::)

'Subject:
apointmint

Message:
hi mistrees
iwant make session for 2 hours on 19 nov
regards
idiot'

and a curiously strong mint up the bum for that man

Lol. Is it the grammar or the fact its an in advanced booking? I don't mind a guy who books in advanced, as long as they put a booking through. If I am busy (not at the moment to be fair a tad slow D:) I try and have two people who might want to see me at a certain time just in case one cancels. If by chance they both want the appointment I will see if one person wants to make the appointment a little later.

Lol apointMINT  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 15 November 2013, 07:05:11 pm
Curvy_girl it was the spelling that really got me, nearly all my bookings are well in advance. With this guy, uh... it specifically says on my website that one-liner emails will be chucked in the bin. I have a set of questions I ask people to answer and most guys don't seem to have any problem doing that...plus it makes it so much easier to get an idea of who you are dealing with!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The Bachelor on 15 November 2013, 08:55:18 pm
2 am last night:

Fucktard: shit, fell asleep still up? (he was supposed to had me over around midnight and called before that time)
Me: Yes, wide awake
Fucktard: Yeah up to it
Me: OK, are you still in same hotel info you have yesterday?
Fucktard: Yup, rm 515
Fucktard again: Na fuck it. To late going home tomorrow. sorry next time
Me: I'm already on my way, you want me to just turn around now? (I was still in bed and barely managed to put on a sweater)
Fucktard: no response, on my phone's block list.

He booked me the night before on a last minute phone call, and seemed genuine. But he also seemed to hurried, like he was pushing me. I hate feeling like I'm being pushed around, especially at damn near midnight! Then, he called from the hotel the 1st time around and didn't give me his name and when I called back, couldn't reach room without name. I ended up not going that night because I already had a client earlier and explained to him I didn't feel I'd be at my best. But, he said he would have me over the next night.

People wonder why I'm so high strung and angry all the time. This the stuff I have to put up with. You either meet exactly when they want to meet, or you don't meet at all and don't earn money. I think part of it is due to backpage.com.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 17 November 2013, 12:27:45 am
Four texts in the space of an hour this morning, asking if I can do today (the last two offering slightly more than my standard rate if I can 'fit him in')

Didn't bother to reply, it's stated on my profile I'm unavailable at weekends due to personal commitments, along with already mentioning my working hours in prior communication when asked.

Few hours later, "Hi, can you let me know when you're available."

I told him "weekdays, not weekends."

"Okay no problem hope to book soon." Twenty minutes later, "I work nights is early tomorrow any good?"

Errrrm, funny that, I'm STILL unavailable on weekends :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 17 November 2013, 01:21:00 am
Quote from: hannah13 on 17 November 2013, 12:27:45 am
Four texts in the space of an hour this morning, asking if I can do today (the last two offering slightly more than my standard rate if I can 'fit him in')

Didn't bother to reply, it's stated on my profile I'm unavailable at weekends due to personal commitments, along with already mentioning my working hours in prior communication when asked.

Few hours later, "Hi, can you let me know when you're available."

I told him "weekdays, not weekends."

"Okay no problem hope to book soon." Twenty minutes later, "I work nights is early tomorrow any good?"

Errrrm, funny that, I'm STILL unavailable on weekends :FF

I had a similar situation recently with a guy who visited me several times to date. He never really gives any notice, but usually calls in the morning and I can give him an appointment (he only ever wants 30mins, so not difficult) an hour or so later.

About a month ago, he called to arrange, but as soon as I got off the phone, I realised I had a seminar to go to, so texted him straight back to cancel and apologise, giving the real reason why. He then proceeded to text me saying "skip the seminar, I can come and see you now, ?300 for 30mins", I just ignored it. But for about 3 weeks, he'd text nearly every day asking to see me and offering ridiculous amounts of money, I never replied to any of those messages. It just really put me off seeing him for a while, as he could simply arrange with a bit of notice and pay my normal rates!

In the end, I agreed to see him, and guess what, he didn't pay a penny more than my normal fee! lol I guess the reason I took his booking again was because I know that he's a nice normal guy, no weird foibles, really quick and straightforward. Why oh why do grown-up educated men sometimes act like immature schoolboys when it comes to paying for sex?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 17 November 2013, 03:50:14 pm
So yesterday I get an email on my DAY OFF at 4pm for an outcall (which I don't do) to Aberdeen for that nite when I am in Glasgow.

I ignored and blocked such a delusional douche but really lets say I was working that day and did do outcalls, was he expecting me to drop everything and run and jump and spend over 3 hours travelling there then back again for 1 booking? Then time to get ready and pack a bag etc?

Some people, really  ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 17 November 2013, 04:50:23 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 17 November 2013, 03:50:14 pm
So yesterday I get an email on my DAY OFF at 4pm for an outcall (which I don't do) to Aberdeen for that nite when I am in Glasgow.

I ignored and blocked such a delusional douche but really lets say I was working that day and did do outcalls, was he expecting me to drop everything and run and jump and spend over 3 hours travelling there then back again for 1 booking? Then time to get ready and pack a bag etc?

Some people, really  ::)

Easy - just tell him your price for the booking will be *your hourly fee* PLUS *6 x your social rate for the travelling time* PLUS *travel costs* and you will be requiring *travel costs* PLUS *20% deposit* before you set off....

Or just ignore and block ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 17 November 2013, 08:47:09 pm
Seems it's my turn to get idiot after idiot-and I was doing so well too!

"Do you do bj only. ?20 . Thanks"

How tempting.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissLarissa on 18 November 2013, 02:35:56 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 17 November 2013, 08:47:09 pm
Seems it's my turn to get idiot after idiot-and I was doing so well too!

"Do you do bj only. ?20 . Thanks"

How tempting.

This is where i'd say something like "Sure, but due to an issue i have with my jaw muscles there's a high chance i will bite down so hard that you might have to pry my jaw open with a crowbar"  :D

Sorry, i had too much coffee today.. again!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 18 November 2013, 08:16:51 pm


This is where i'd say something like "Sure, but due to an issue i have with my jaw muscles there's a high chance i will bite down so hard that you might have to pry my jaw open with a crowbar"  :D

Sorry, i had too much coffee today.. again!!
[/quote]

Hahahaha! I was polite and informed him my services, rates and availability were listed on my profile, surprisingly I haven't heard back :(

New one today:

"Can you email me a face pic and if I like what I see I will beback in touch to make a booking?"

Why yes, I'd just love to email a random stranger a picture of my face!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 19 November 2013, 01:01:05 pm
I just received a lovely email from anescort who calls himself sexy male slut that offers bareback and everything else asking what he can get for ?30  ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 19 November 2013, 02:31:53 pm
Guy rings.
Asks for half hour
I tell him price and what included says 'oh thats good'
I ask him for an address and he laughs over the phone
I hang up and change his name to idiot


I get another call

Guy asks for half an hour and will give me his address
I tell him the price and what is included he says 'oh thats good'
I tell him it will take over an hour to reach him and I charge an extra 10 for this and he laughs over the phone
I tell him i know he is the same guy and hangs up the phone and puts him under idiot


I just wonder how many phones he has up his sleeve and if he is trying to perfect his escort booking skills or something...

-as I am writing this reply-

I think he has also just tried to ring and has sent another text. Yes he seems to have another phone and I know who he is now. I never take a booking without talking to someone on the phone.

He now keeps ringing on various numbers... this might have to go into another thread soon :P

Now a withheld number.
Now an idiot number.
Again on an idiot number.

Just picked up and told him if he doesn't leave me alone I will get the police involved.
Probably too harsh but I have heard too many stalker horror stories to fuck around.

All has gone quiet now how about that!

-then-

He text me saying please lets just talk and I won't bother you again... Sounds like an ex trying to get closure!

He keeps ringing now.

Just answered and said can you just fuck off now mate? bye!
Phone is now on silent he can ring and text all he likes now I'm not interested.

Guh!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 19 November 2013, 04:29:48 pm
Really pushing the boat out at ?30 and obviously knows how this is all works seeing as he's an 'escort' himself o.O


Quote from: curvy_girl on 19 November 2013, 02:31:53 pm
Guy rings.
Asks for half hour
I tell him price and what included says 'oh thats good'
I ask him for an address and he laughs over the phone
I hang up and change his name to idiot


I get another call

Guy asks for half an hour and will give me his address
I tell him the price and what is included he says 'oh thats good'
I tell him it will take over an hour to reach him and I charge an extra 10 for this and he laughs over the phone
I tell him i know he is the same guy and hangs up the phone and puts him under idiot


I just wonder how many phones he has up his sleeve and if he is trying to perfect his escort booking skills or something...

-as I am writing this reply-

I think he has also just tried to ring and has sent another text. Yes he seems to have another phone and I know who he is now. I never take a booking without talking to someone on the phone.

He now keeps ringing on various numbers... this might have to go into another thread soon :P

Now a withheld number.
Now an idiot number.
Again on an idiot number.

Just picked up and told him if he doesn't leave me alone I will get the police involved.
Probably too harsh but I have heard too many stalker horror stories to fuck around.

All has gone quiet now how about that!

-then-

He text me saying please lets just talk and I won't bother you again... Sounds like an ex trying to get closure!

He keeps ringing now.

Just answered and said can you just fuck off now mate? bye!
Phone is now on silent he can ring and text all he likes now I'm not interested.

Guh!!!


Uggggh I feel your pain! I've been ignoring guy I saw just the one time, and before noon this morning had over 20 calls, 10 texts & then a text saying he gets the hint & wont bother me anymore as he's obviously offended me somehow...followed by several more calls & texts!

Still, it's not all bad I was able to spot a tw today for the first time & didn't even bother getting ready, got a text at 11.56 (app was for 12) saying he had to postpone & will rearrange soon-er not with me you wont! I feel like a proper escort now I've sussed out a tw beforehand haha!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 19 November 2013, 06:12:33 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 19 November 2013, 04:29:48 pm
Really pushing the boat out at ?30 and obviously knows how this is all works seeing as he's an 'escort' himself o.O


Quote from: curvy_girl on 19 November 2013, 02:31:53 pm
Guy rings.
Asks for half hour
I tell him price and what included says 'oh thats good'
I ask him for an address and he laughs over the phone
I hang up and change his name to idiot


I get another call

Guy asks for half an hour and will give me his address
I tell him the price and what is included he says 'oh thats good'
I tell him it will take over an hour to reach him and I charge an extra 10 for this and he laughs over the phone
I tell him i know he is the same guy and hangs up the phone and puts him under idiot


I just wonder how many phones he has up his sleeve and if he is trying to perfect his escort booking skills or something...

-as I am writing this reply-

I think he has also just tried to ring and has sent another text. Yes he seems to have another phone and I know who he is now. I never take a booking without talking to someone on the phone.

He now keeps ringing on various numbers... this might have to go into another thread soon :P

Now a withheld number.
Now an idiot number.
Again on an idiot number.

Just picked up and told him if he doesn't leave me alone I will get the police involved.
Probably too harsh but I have heard too many stalker horror stories to fuck around.

All has gone quiet now how about that!

-then-

He text me saying please lets just talk and I won't bother you again... Sounds like an ex trying to get closure!

He keeps ringing now.

Just answered and said can you just fuck off now mate? bye!
Phone is now on silent he can ring and text all he likes now I'm not interested.

Guh!!!


Uggggh I feel your pain! I've been ignoring guy I saw just the one time, and before noon this morning had over 20 calls, 10 texts & then a text saying he gets the hint & wont bother me anymore as he's obviously offended me somehow...followed by several more calls & texts!

Still, it's not all bad I was able to spot a tw today for the first time & didn't even bother getting ready, got a text at 11.56 (app was for 12) saying he had to postpone & will rearrange soon-er not with me you wont! I feel like a proper escort now I've sussed out a tw beforehand haha!


He he. I still need to have a keen ear for the same person ringing up twice  >:(  Like that will help the situation.... DECEPTION!? guh...  :FF

The lack of brains is disturbing.

I know a time waster when he keeps farting around with the appointment times or says he can make it then cant make it and so on. Instantly note them down as a time waster.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MaddieMoo on 19 November 2013, 07:40:48 pm
I have this guy that has been interested in booking me for a social appointment but our schedules never match up. He really is genuine, it just hasn't worked out - I took the summer off, I've been ill, I've been travelling. He always pops up at the worst  bloody time. I'm taking time off work atm due to my creepy stalker problem and a big uni deadline, so my phone is off and I took my pics down from adultwork for the fortnight. Turned my phone on today to several missed calls, voicemails and texts from him asking WHEN he will FINALLY get to see me. Mate, stop texting me constantly and sending constant emails, find another girl, do you really think I want to book you in now when you're acting so odd? Wish I was rude enough to just say that! It's so offputting when someone can't go "oh conflict of schedules, oh well" instead of "HI WHEN CAN YOU SEE ME?" sometimes every three days sometimes once a random 3 weeks. He's so clueless and it has put me off entertaining the thought now!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 19 November 2013, 08:42:16 pm
Quote from: MaddieMoo on 19 November 2013, 07:40:48 pm
I have this guy that has been interested in booking me for a social appointment but our schedules never match up. He really is genuine, it just hasn't worked out - I took the summer off, I've been ill, I've been travelling. He always pops up at the worst  bloody time. I'm taking time off work atm due to my creepy stalker problem and a big uni deadline, so my phone is off and I took my pics down from adultwork for the fortnight. Turned my phone on today to several missed calls, voicemails and texts from him asking WHEN he will FINALLY get to see me. Mate, stop texting me constantly and sending constant emails, find another girl, do you really think I want to book you in now when you're acting so odd? Wish I was rude enough to just say that! It's so offputting when someone can't go "oh conflict of schedules, oh well" instead of "HI WHEN CAN YOU SEE ME?" sometimes every three days sometimes once a random 3 weeks. He's so clueless and it has put me off entertaining the thought now!

My feeling is that if he wanted to see you that much he'd adjust his schedule to fit in with yours and make it possible. If it were me in your place I'd say "Look it's obvious we just aren't going to be able to make a mutually agreeable time, let's just give up now", if he still insists then lay down the gauntlet "I have this time if you can see me in it fine, if not then you need to stop contacting me".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 19 November 2013, 10:29:21 pm
Quote from: Strawberry on 19 November 2013, 08:42:16 pm
"I have this time if you can see me in it fine, if not then you need to stop contacting me".

Good answer, I have a guy like this at the moment, gets frustrating!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MaddieMoo on 20 November 2013, 02:21:55 pm
Quote from: Strawberry on 19 November 2013, 08:42:16 pm

My feeling is that if he wanted to see you that much he'd adjust his schedule to fit in with yours and make it possible. If it were me in your place I'd say "Look it's obvious we just aren't going to be able to make a mutually agreeable time, let's just give up now", if he still insists then lay down the gauntlet "I have this time if you can see me in it fine, if not then you need to stop contacting me".

I've actually done just that! I have sent him the world's politest email and told him I am flattered in his interest in my services up to this point but our attempts to meet up have ran their course without exception and I wish him all the best. If he tries to quibble I will block him then most likely imagine an angry conversation in my head, in which I'm fabulously sarcastic and witty and he is flabbergasted. Oh decorum, it is a pain sometimes  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 20 November 2013, 07:06:34 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 17 November 2013, 12:27:45 am
Four texts in the space of an hour this morning, asking if I can do today (the last two offering slightly more than my standard rate if I can 'fit him in')

Didn't bother to reply, it's stated on my profile I'm unavailable at weekends due to personal commitments, along with already mentioning my working hours in prior communication when asked.

Few hours later, "Hi, can you let me know when you're available."

I told him "weekdays, not weekends."

"Okay no problem hope to book soon." Twenty minutes later, "I work nights is early tomorrow any good?"

Errrrm, funny that, I'm STILL unavailable on weekends :FF


I've been ignoring this guy and his dozens of texts per day as even though he hasn't really done anything wrong (except for mithering) he gives me a bad vibe. Woke up this morning to a text from him saying "Hi can I come now please?"

Sent at 03.46am ....   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe37 on 20 November 2013, 10:42:01 pm
And the winner is ........ "drum roll"

Just received a call 5 minutes ago

He: "Are you available this Sunday evening"?
Me: "Yes I am. Are you looking for an outcall or incall?"
He: "Outcall, please"
Me: "No problem, for an outcall I would require your name and the address"
He: "My name is .......... pause .......... John"
Me: "Thank you John, do you have a second name as well, please"
He: "No"
Me: "You should get one, I think it's kind of illegal not to have a second name"
He: "Sorry, I have to be cautious"
Me: "Understand, me too, therefore I  need your full name and address"
He: "I live in ......"
Me: "That's a lovely town, hmmm, a street name by any chance?"
He: "I told you I have to be cautious, we need to be very discreet"
Me: "I am always very discreet, but how to you expect me to get to your place if I have no idea where it is?"
He: "Just be there on Sunday, is 7pm ok for you?"
Me: "Of course, see you Sunday"   :P

Well, maybe not a winner but very close  ;D

I will send him a text Sunday evening that I am so sorry but got lost on my way to him ...

Chloe






Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 21 November 2013, 12:26:22 am
Client booked as normal but then asked for some thing that don't do. After explained he said that is ok and he came. Then he was offered a glass of water questioning me about my hygiene checks. In the end he said that there is to many and would rather leave. So 10 minutes later excepted another booking. The first client phone me 20 minutes later apologized saying he was nervous etc. He wanted to book me again, but am very reluctant to accept now as he wasted my time. Not only that but turned down a booking for him. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 21 November 2013, 10:11:09 am
Quote from: chloe37 on 20 November 2013, 10:42:01 pm
And the winner is ........ "drum roll"

Just received a call 5 minutes ago

He: "Are you available this Sunday evening"?
Me: "Yes I am. Are you looking for an outcall or incall?"
He: "Outcall, please"
Me: "No problem, for an outcall I would require your name and the address"
He: "My name is .......... pause .......... John"
Me: "Thank you John, do you have a second name as well, please"
He: "No"
Me: "You should get one, I think it's kind of illegal not to have a second name"
He: "Sorry, I have to be cautious"
Me: "Understand, me too, therefore I  need your full name and address"
He: "I live in ......"
Me: "That's a lovely town, hmmm, a street name by any chance?"
He: "I told you I have to be cautious, we need to be very discreet"
Me: "I am always very discreet, but how to you expect me to get to your place if I have no idea where it is?"
He: "Just be there on Sunday, is 7pm ok for you?"
Me: "Of course, see you Sunday"   :P

Well, maybe not a winner but very close  ;D

I will send him a text Sunday evening that I am so sorry but got lost on my way to him ...

Chloe

Wow that really is a weird one. Doesn't he realise you cant do an outcall without an address?

If someone so desperately wants to be discrete, surely they would do an incall rather than have a girl come to they're house?

Strange lol but even if the booking was to go ahead somehow, I doubt he'd be the type you'd want to be alone with.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HollyH on 21 November 2013, 12:52:38 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 21 November 2013, 01:13:29 pm
To be fair though, we only give landmarks too when it comes to our address and we expect them to find us.

However obviously we do it to save all sorts of creeps from hanging around our address that aren't actual clients, just weirdos and also we are at more risk safety wise.

But it is essential as a woman on her own to get the basics of someones address nevermind doing your safety check for an outcall, he cannot expect anything less if he genuinely wants a girl to go and see him.

I had a guy ask me for an outcall a few months ago when I did outcalls to a hotel who point blank REFUSED to give me his name. I said what do you expect me to do with your name exactly? I need it to gain access to the hotel should I get stopped and asked where I am going.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 21 November 2013, 04:28:38 pm
Quote from: meetingdiversity on 21 November 2013, 12:26:22 am
Client booked as normal but then asked for some thing that don't do. After explained he said that is ok and he came. Then he was offered a glass of water questioning me about my hygiene checks. In the end he said that there is to many and would rather leave. So 10 minutes later excepted another booking. The first client phone me 20 minutes later apologized saying he was nervous etc. He wanted to book me again, but am very reluctant to accept now as he wasted my time. Not only that but turned down a booking for him.

An update... The client who walked on me yesterday wants to book no problem but the only thing is that he only wants on my day off. I texted him that the opportunity was there. I bet he is kicking himself for walking, all the pleads to see him still he sounded worried. He said that he can only do weekends but that's not true as yesterday Wednesday was when he came face to face with me last.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 25 November 2013, 02:02:43 pm
Quote
hi honey
do you do piss fart and poop just to see
no sex
no dirty thing
i am 22 and virgin
thanks

An emailed gem here (and on a Sunday, too :().
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LithyBony on 25 November 2013, 02:32:21 pm
Quote from: HollyH on 21 November 2013, 12:52:38 pm
Quote from: chloe37 on 20 November 2013, 10:42:01 pm
And the winner is ........ "drum roll"

Just received a call 5 minutes ago

He: "Are you available this Sunday evening"?
Me: "Yes I am. Are you looking for an outcall or incall?"
He: "Outcall, please"
Me: "No problem, for an outcall I would require your name and the address"
He: "My name is .......... pause .......... John"
Me: "Thank you John, do you have a second name as well, please"
He: "No"
Me: "You should get one, I think it's kind of illegal not to have a second name"
He: "Sorry, I have to be cautious"
Me: "Understand, me too, therefore I  need your full name and address"
He: "I live in ......"
Me: "That's a lovely town, hmmm, a street name by any chance?"
He: "I told you I have to be cautious, we need to be very discreet"
Me: "I am always very discreet, but how to you expect me to get to your place if I have no idea where it is?"
He: "Just be there on Sunday, is 7pm ok for you?"
Me: "Of course, see you Sunday"   :P

Well, maybe not a winner but very close  ;D

I will send him a text Sunday evening that I am so sorry but got lost on my way to him ...

Chloe

LMFAO! An Outcall to a guy who has to be so discreet he can't even tell you the address. Sometimes it's like trying to get blood from a stone, they want to give you as little of the address as possible but still expect you to know where to go.

SMH :FF I only do outcalls and you have some that just want to give you an area/road. I do not even bother prod. I just suddenly become unavailable
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 25 November 2013, 03:03:19 pm
Quote from: amy on 25 November 2013, 02:02:43 pm
Quote
hi honey
do you do piss fart and poop just to see
no sex
no dirty thing
i am 22 and virgin
thanks

An emailed gem here (and on a Sunday, too :().

Haha  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 25 November 2013, 06:42:25 pm
"Can you do this kinky meet, I post money through postbox. You txt to tell me to come in. You will be blindfolded waiting in bed, I put condom on fuck you and leave. If this is ok let me know thanks x "


Ha.ha.ha.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MaddieMoo on 25 November 2013, 06:48:51 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 25 November 2013, 06:42:25 pm
"Can you do this kinky meet, I post money through postbox. You txt to tell me to come in. You will be blindfolded waiting in bed, I put condom on fuck you and leave. If this is ok let me know thanks x "


Ha.ha.ha.

"If this is okay, let me know, thanks.... since I'd really love to only pretend to put a condom on, bareback you then do a mad dash through the house to nick your TV before you can take that blindfold off."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 25 November 2013, 11:37:00 pm
Quote from: MaddieMoo on 25 November 2013, 06:48:51 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 25 November 2013, 06:42:25 pm
"Can you do this kinky meet, I post money through postbox. You txt to tell me to come in. You will be blindfolded waiting in bed, I put condom on fuck you and leave. If this is ok let me know thanks x "


Ha.ha.ha.

"If this is okay, let me know, thanks.... since I'd really love to only pretend to put a condom on, bareback you then do a mad dash through the house to nick your TV before you can take that blindfold off."

Hahaha. Well, I know the TV is safe (I don't have one as I never watch it so got rid of it :p) but this was quite close to my initial thoughts...oh and I'd like to know how I'm meant to text whilst blindfolded? I'm good but not that good to check the money and get upstairs, text and blindfold in a few seconds-and of course if he means text from upstairs I'm sure I'd later find monopoly money waiting for me hmmm

"Can I see you this week while I have the cash" followed with another offer of higher than my rate- from the idiot guy texting constantly and at 3.46am last time-this makes the 27th text I have completely ignored o.O
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 26 November 2013, 03:27:21 am
Quote from: amy on 25 November 2013, 02:02:43 pm
hi honey
do you do piss fart and poop just to see
no sex
no dirty thing
i am 22 and virgin
thanks

But Amy, its no dirty thing ... he only wants you to piss fart and poop ;D

(fix quote)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 26 November 2013, 10:48:24 am
Hello A.I'm a member from xx website.You have no review yet,so why not exchange a meeting at a friendly rate for a serious review? It is good publicity for you.B

Thanks for an offer,but I would prefer it to be genuine,not in exchange for something.Moreover I believe that my rates are not bad for my location.That's 200 for all favourites.

My proposal is for a fair review(no fake).It is a win/win situation and an investment for your work:I propose 130e/1h and we can meet tomorrow
B.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 26 November 2013, 02:56:04 pm
Got a text today from a guy saying "Geez a bell"  ::)

Erm how's about no! That's not how it works and even if it was, call me please would have been much nicer considering you expect me to invite you into my house to have sex with me FFS!

Some people haven't got a clue when it comes to manners or how to speak to someone they expect a service from, given with enthusiasm.


 ::)  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady c on 26 November 2013, 05:27:04 pm
Are you vacant!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LithyBony on 26 November 2013, 05:31:01 pm
Quote from: ladychannel on 26 November 2013, 05:27:04 pm
Are you vacant!!!

 ;D This is funny as hell
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MaddieMoo on 26 November 2013, 05:49:40 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 26 November 2013, 02:56:04 pm
Got a text today from a guy saying "Geez a bell"  ::)

Erm how's about no! That's not how it works and even if it was, call me please would have been much nicer considering you expect me to invite you into my house to have sex with me FFS!

Some people haven't got a clue when it comes to manners or how to speak to someone they expect a service from, given with enthusiasm.


 ::)  ::)

Wonder if he'd text that to his accountant or mechanic. FFS, I would have gave him a bell as requested then bitten his head off but obviously that isn't wise!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 28 November 2013, 10:35:58 am
Got a text at 04.43 this morning saying..............

You available?

Really? Just really?

 ::)  ::)  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 28 November 2013, 03:10:10 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 28 November 2013, 10:35:58 am
Got a text at 04.43 this morning saying..............

You available?

Really? Just really?

 ::)  ::)  ::)

Of course you are, because we don't need sleep and just sit around all day and night waiting for calls  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 28 November 2013, 04:33:46 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 28 November 2013, 03:10:10 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 28 November 2013, 10:35:58 am
Got a text at 04.43 this morning saying..............

You available?

Really? Just really?

 ::)  ::)  ::)

Of course you are, because we don't need sleep and just sit around all day and night waiting for calls  :FF

In our underwear looking fresh like we do in our pictures. These guys would be the first to complain if you looked like you just rolled out of bed and NOT like your pictures lol.

I suppose there are girls though that work 24/7 but f only they read profiles they would know who those ones are and leave the rest of us alone.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 30 November 2013, 12:40:53 am
The midnight and early morning harassers are out on force tonight, must be because they have just been paid but seriously its fecking RUDE to phone people during the nite regardless of their profession.

I often wonder why we bother with profiles.

I've got some wee prick that keeps phoning and phoning and phoning just now, no matter how many times I hang up on him and tell him to fuck off he doesn't give up.

 :FF  :FF  :FF  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 30 November 2013, 01:07:37 am
PP, just switch your phone off - it's late on a Friday night, and we all get it. At least put in on silent and stick it in another room.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 30 November 2013, 08:50:04 am
Quote from: amy on 30 November 2013, 01:07:37 am
PP, just switch your phone off - it's late on a Friday night, and we all get it. At least put in on silent and stick it in another room.

Yeah I had to eventually do that. I always get calls on a Friday nite which I don't mind cause I just ignore them but I had 2 numbers which wouldn't stop flooding my phone with texts and calls. One of them wasn't texting but he kept phoning constantly.

What is wrong with some of them? The other number that kept harassing me was someone I already had blocked for other reasons then when I woke up this morning I had more calls from different numbers, each and every one of them were from people I already had blocked.

 :FF  :FF  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 30 November 2013, 10:15:33 am
Having woken up at stupid o'clock today, I turned my phone on, forget about it, so when it rang at 7.15 I ignored it.  I then received this charming voicemail:

How about you put the fucking effort in, get your fucking fanny out you cunt

Now normally I'm able to ignore slighty shitty messages but this one took the biscuit, and sometimes these guys need to learn to take responsibility for their actions.  It was his bad luck that all week I'd been woken at 5am by a bloody moterbike revving up, so to I was in a tetchy mood anyway.

I ring up (obviously he's not thinking someone will have the gall to do this)

Fuckwit: hello
Me: What do you think you are doing ringing leaving a message like that, its really rude
Fuckwit: mumble..mumble
Me: You do that again and I'm calling the police
Fuckwit: I'm sorry I was only having a laugh (you could try sounding sincere matey boy)
Me: Its not remotely funny, like I said I won't hesitate to call the police, whats more I'm going to warn all my escort friends about you.

****hangs up****

What is wrong with these people?  I could hear voices in the background.  Presumably he'd been trying to big it up in front of his mates after a night on the lash.

I then switched my phone off....turned it back on around 9......another voicemail only minutes after that original call asking me to call them (different voice), I don't think that was a coincidence.  Hopefully they have all been shitting themselves thinking that I might have actually called the police (not that I would in this instance, more of a deterrant), serves them right!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 30 November 2013, 01:06:28 pm
Its just vile the way we get spoken to at times, I have had similar to that and it really is hard to ignore it xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 30 November 2013, 01:28:33 pm
Phone call just now from a young guy -

Him - ''Are you available today?''

Me - ''Yes I am''

Him - ''What are your prices?''

Me - (I tell him)

Him - ''Can I eat your pussy (Does a burp down the phone)''

Me - ''Erm, come to think of it I doubt I'll be around today but thanks for calling!''  Ewww!
         
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 30 November 2013, 04:45:34 pm
Reacting to the abusive messages gets you nowhere in my experience, apart from even angrier!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 30 November 2013, 06:08:10 pm
Quote from: Strawberry on 30 November 2013, 04:45:34 pm
Reacting to the abusive messages gets you nowhere in my experience, apart from even angrier!

I agree on the whole; but there is a limit to what I, personally will accept.  I think if you respond in a dignified manner it stops them in their tracks and makes them see that actions have consequences. Also hopefully what I did today saved other girls getting the foul mouthed message that I did, so that makes it worth it for me
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 30 November 2013, 07:02:18 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 30 November 2013, 08:50:04 am
Quote from: amy on 30 November 2013, 01:07:37 am
PP, just switch your phone off - it's late on a Friday night, and we all get it. At least put in on silent and stick it in another room.

Yeah I had to eventually do that. I always get calls on a Friday nite which I don't mind cause I just ignore them but I had 2 numbers which wouldn't stop flooding my phone with texts and calls. One of them wasn't texting but he kept phoning constantly.

What is wrong with some of them? The other number that kept harassing me was someone I already had blocked for other reasons then when I woke up this morning I had more calls from different numbers, each and every one of them were from people I already had blocked.

 :FF  :FF  :FF
PP I have a personal voicemail saying "Hello sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please leave me a message with a convenient time to get back to you, as this is the best way for me to contact you back. Please also be aware that I don't answer any withheld numbers or calls after 10pm at night, thank you bye"

Seems to work :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 30 November 2013, 07:20:01 pm
Quote from: MissKylie on 30 November 2013, 07:03:03 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 30 November 2013, 08:50:04 am
Quote from: amy on 30 November 2013, 01:07:37 am
PP, just switch your phone off - it's late on a Friday night, and we all get it. At least put in on silent and stick it in another room.

Yeah I had to eventually do that. I always get calls on a Friday nite which I don't mind cause I just ignore them but I had 2 numbers which wouldn't stop flooding my phone with texts and calls. One of them wasn't texting but he kept phoning constantly.

What is wrong with some of them? The other number that kept harassing me was someone I already had blocked for other reasons then when I woke up this morning I had more calls from different numbers, each and every one of them were from people I already had blocked.

 :FF  :FF  :FF
PP I have a person voicemail saying "Hello sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please leave me a message with a convenient time to get back to you as that is the best ways for me to contact you back. Please also be aware that I don't answer any withheld numbers or calls after 10pm at night, thank you bye"

Seems to work :)

My voicemail advises that I don't take calls after/before certain hours of the day but doesn't stop folk leaving messages at 1am telling me there's 3 horny guys in a hotel wanting a good seeing to right now, "call me back".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 30 November 2013, 08:08:33 pm
Quote from: Strawberry on 30 November 2013, 04:45:34 pm
Reacting to the abusive messages gets you nowhere in my experience, apart from even angrier!

I completely agree with you but as Nameless said there are just some that are that awful, you cant help yourself xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 30 November 2013, 08:11:57 pm
I don't use voicemail at all - I have a recorded greeting which requests punters either text or email, and it specifically asks that they don't leave a voice message. I get the odd one (which just gets deleted without ever being heard) but on the whole, it works :).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 30 November 2013, 08:12:21 pm
Quote from: MissKylie on 30 November 2013, 07:02:18 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 30 November 2013, 08:50:04 am
Quote from: amy on 30 November 2013, 01:07:37 am
PP, just switch your phone off - it's late on a Friday night, and we all get it. At least put in on silent and stick it in another room.

Yeah I had to eventually do that. I always get calls on a Friday nite which I don't mind cause I just ignore them but I had 2 numbers which wouldn't stop flooding my phone with texts and calls. One of them wasn't texting but he kept phoning constantly.

What is wrong with some of them? The other number that kept harassing me was someone I already had blocked for other reasons then when I woke up this morning I had more calls from different numbers, each and every one of them were from people I already had blocked.

 :FF  :FF  :FF
PP I have a personal voicemail saying "Hello sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please leave me a message with a convenient time to get back to you, as this is the best way for me to contact you back. Please also be aware that I don't answer any withheld numbers or calls after 10pm at night, thank you bye"

Seems to work :)

Naaaaa I'd rather these guys don't contact me at all, even at a convenient time cause these guys have already shown that they don't read profiles which means they haven't a clue what I do/don't do and it shows they seriously lack respect as its just plain rude to phone someone in the middle of the nite.

You wouldn't phone anyone in the middle of the nite unless there was an emergency. We have profiles for a reason, there are many escorts who work through the nite so they should check first.

But the harassment I got last nite was just shocking from these 2 guys, 1 in particular was sending millions of texts too. When I woke up this morning I had more missed calls from him much later than the original 15 calls  :FF

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 30 November 2013, 08:16:06 pm
Quote from: amy on 30 November 2013, 08:11:57 pm
I don't use voicemail at all - I have a recorded greeting which requests punters either text or email, and it specifically asks that they don't leave a voice message. I get the odd one (which just gets deleted without ever being heard) but on the whole, it works :).

I used to have voicemail but all I ever got was wanking down the phone and really weird messages but one time when I was busy in Belfast (surprise surprise) I had a client phone me several times while I was with a client, obviously I didn't answer as I was busy but he then left me a couple of voicemails with the first saying why are you ignoring me? And the second one said I don't even want to see you now, you have put me off cause you don't answer your phone.

Seriously WTF?? I was with a client and he made all these calls and voicemails within the space of an hour so didn't give me a chance to get back to him, clearly a paranoid freak so I dodged a bullet with that one but from that point on, I switched off voicemails.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 30 November 2013, 08:18:06 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 30 November 2013, 08:12:21 pm
Quote from: MissKylie on 30 November 2013, 07:02:18 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 30 November 2013, 08:50:04 am
Quote from: amy on 30 November 2013, 01:07:37 am
PP, just switch your phone off - it's late on a Friday night, and we all get it. At least put in on silent and stick it in another room.

Yeah I had to eventually do that. I always get calls on a Friday nite which I don't mind cause I just ignore them but I had 2 numbers which wouldn't stop flooding my phone with texts and calls. One of them wasn't texting but he kept phoning constantly.

What is wrong with some of them? The other number that kept harassing me was someone I already had blocked for other reasons then when I woke up this morning I had more calls from different numbers, each and every one of them were from people I already had blocked.

 :FF  :FF  :FF
PP I have a personal voicemail saying "Hello sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please leave me a message with a convenient time to get back to you, as this is the best way for me to contact you back. Please also be aware that I don't answer any withheld numbers or calls after 10pm at night, thank you bye"

Seems to work :)

Naaaaa I'd rather these guys don't contact me at all, even at a convenient time cause these guys have already shown that they don't read profiles which means they haven't a clue what I do/don't do and it shows they seriously lack respect as its just plain rude to phone someone in the middle of the nite.

You wouldn't phone anyone in the middle of the nite unless there was an emergency. We have profiles for a reason, there are many escorts who work through the nite so they should check first.

But the harassment I got last nite was just shocking from these 2 guys, 1 in particular was sending millions of texts too. When I woke up this morning I had more missed calls from him much later than the original 15 calls  :FF

xx
I totally get what your saying, I absolutely bloody hate it too. It makes me so god dam angry that they can't just READ!! I just think the personal voicemail is good though, because it comes across quite professional and they are less likely to leave stupid voicemails.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 30 November 2013, 08:20:34 pm
Quote from: amy on 30 November 2013, 08:11:57 pm
I don't use voicemail at all - I have a recorded greeting which requests punters either text or email, and it specifically asks that they don't leave a voice message. I get the odd one (which just gets deleted without ever being heard) but on the whole, it works :).
Why do you not like people leaving voicemails Amy? The genuine guys always seem to leave me polite voicemails requesting a call back.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 30 November 2013, 08:27:20 pm
Because there isn't any point - I'm not going to call them back, and if I'm busy it's likely to be ages before I get it anyway.

Plus most people don't speak slowly or clearly enough for me to hear them properly, and my call blocker sends out an automatic (and regularly updated) text which tells them when they can call me back. If they don't do any of the above, I can safely assume they're not that bothered :).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 30 November 2013, 08:29:25 pm
Quote from: amy on 30 November 2013, 08:27:20 pm
Because there isn't any point - I'm not going to call them back, and if I'm busy it's likely to be ages before I get it anyway.

Plus most people don't speak slowly or clearly enough for me to hear them properly, and my call blocker sends out an automatic (and regularly updated) text which tells them when they can call me back. If they don't do any of the above, I can safely assume they're not that bothered :).
Oh right, see I always call them back.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 30 November 2013, 08:35:22 pm
Quote from: amy on 30 November 2013, 08:11:57 pm
I don't use voicemail at all - I have a recorded greeting which requests punters either text or email, and it specifically asks that they don't leave a voice message. I get the odd one (which just gets deleted without ever being heard) but on the whole, it works :).

Im the same amy, I used to use voicemail but gave up.  Like our profiles they cant read, they don't seem to hear what Im saying on a voicemail (not to leave a voicemail) and they go ahead and leave one.

Ive got to the stage now I just turn off my phone when Im not working, I just cant be bothered with the hassle.

I don't  call them back either.  Its up to them to do the calling so if they wish to see me they just have to keep trying.  Not my problem.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 30 November 2013, 08:38:36 pm
Quote from: amy on 30 November 2013, 08:27:20 pm
Because there isn't any point - I'm not going to call them back, and if I'm busy it's likely to be ages before I get it anyway.

Plus most people don't speak slowly or clearly enough for me to hear them properly, and my call blocker sends out an automatic (and regularly updated) text which tells them when they can call me back. If they don't do any of the above, I can safely assume they're not that bothered :).

Thats what I need, an auto text, but not sure my call blocker can do that.  I update my voicemail regularly (when I'm on tour etc) but tbh probably a majority of guys don't listen to it, even if they leave a message, a minority do use it properly so I'd say its of limited use.  I reckon most just hang up.  Like Amy says if they really want to see you, they will call back.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 30 November 2013, 10:00:18 pm
Quote from: Nameless on 30 November 2013, 08:38:36 pm
Quote from: amy on 30 November 2013, 08:27:20 pm
Because there isn't any point - I'm not going to call them back, and if I'm busy it's likely to be ages before I get it anyway.

Plus most people don't speak slowly or clearly enough for me to hear them properly, and my call blocker sends out an automatic (and regularly updated) text which tells them when they can call me back. If they don't do any of the above, I can safely assume they're not that bothered :).

Thats what I need, an auto text, but not sure my call blocker can do that.  I update my voicemail regularly (when I'm on tour etc) but tbh probably a majority of guys don't listen to it, even if they leave a message, a minority do use it properly so I'd say its of limited use.  I reckon most just hang up.  Like Amy says if they really want to see you, they will call back.

I have one of these and it's great, I can sometimes get repeat calls because they've not received the text yet or are phoning withheld but that's not my problem.

Also if you set it to block landlines they get the text as a message too, and when I first started using it one bloke told me to stop phoning him - all it was was BT converting the text to voicemail. I now have difference settings for landlines.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nikitamids on 30 November 2013, 11:16:04 pm
This was the most laughable request ever had  a stream of text messages tonight from a person. well a person claiming to be a dom...anyway  this person had a sub who she claimed had gone as far as having breast implants at her orders ! male by the way claimed she found me on a website and would I see him as a humiliation exercise as supposedly he aspired to having a female form like me.. tried to googled her and didn't find a thing and told her so she stated she had too many clients and didn't need a website.. could not contain myself laughing...I mean what man is stupid enough to have breast implants at a doms orders needless to say I ignored the texts and request..
Anyone else had any stupid  requests like this :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: x-Veronica-x on 01 December 2013, 02:36:47 am
Quote from: amy on 30 November 2013, 08:27:20 pm
Because there isn't any point - I'm not going to call them back, and if I'm busy it's likely to be ages before I get it anyway.

Plus most people don't speak slowly or clearly enough for me to hear them properly, and my call blocker sends out an automatic (and regularly updated) text which tells them when they can call me back. If they don't do any of the above, I can safely assume they're not that bothered :).

I'm the same I hate guys who leave voicemails. I never call them back.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 01 December 2013, 03:03:59 am
Quote from: Nikitamids on 30 November 2013, 11:16:04 pm
This was the most laughable request ever had  a stream of text messages tonight from a person. well a person claiming to be a dom...anyway  this person had a sub who she claimed had gone as far as having breast implants at her orders ! male by the way claimed she found me on a website and would I see him as a humiliation exercise as supposedly he aspired to having a female form like me.. tried to googled her and didn't find a thing and told her so she stated she had too many clients and didn't need a website.. could not contain myself laughing...I mean what man is stupid enough to have breast implants at a doms orders needless to say I ignored the texts and request..
Anyone else had any stupid  requests like this :)

That story rings a bell from years ago, must still be doing the rounds. ROFL.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 01 December 2013, 03:41:22 am
Don't know why I'm up at stupid o'clock, but at least I got to read this the minute it plonked into my email account...

CAT  I AM INTERESTED BUT I AM USA NY I LIKE ALL MY LIFE LARGE SWEET WOMAN I FEEL YOU ARE MY TYPE  TELL ME HOW I  GET YOU KEN HONEST


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 01 December 2013, 07:26:00 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 01 December 2013, 03:41:22 am
Don't know why I'm up at stupid o'clock, but at least I got to read this the minute it plonked into my email account...

CAT  I AM INTERESTED BUT I AM USA NY I LIKE ALL MY LIFE LARGE SWEET WOMAN I FEEL YOU ARE MY TYPE  TELL ME HOW I  GET YOU KEN HONEST

Cat, you always seem to get the best ones, how do you do it? ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 01 December 2013, 07:31:07 am
Although Nikita's 'implant man' is pretty bizarre too... :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 01 December 2013, 12:53:13 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 01 December 2013, 07:26:00 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 01 December 2013, 03:41:22 am
Don't know why I'm up at stupid o'clock, but at least I got to read this the minute it plonked into my email account...

CAT  I AM INTERESTED BUT I AM USA NY I LIKE ALL MY LIFE LARGE SWEET WOMAN I FEEL YOU ARE MY TYPE  TELL ME HOW I  GET YOU KEN HONEST

Cat, you always seem to get the best ones, how do you do it? ;D

Haha! ;D I have no idea, perhaps they're just so entranced by the massive bottom that any kind of meaningful English turns to gibberish as they type  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 01 December 2013, 03:43:50 pm
I guess you're right, sometimes guys act like that when they come to see me, I pull my knickers down and that's it, they just want to get at those PUBES  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nikitamids on 01 December 2013, 06:23:49 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 01 December 2013, 03:03:59 am
Quote from: Nikitamids on 30 November 2013, 11:16:04 pm
This was the most laughable request ever had  a stream of text messages tonight from a person. well a person claiming to be a dom...anyway  this person had a sub who she claimed had gone as far as having breast implants at her orders ! male by the way claimed she found me on a website and would I see him as a humiliation exercise as supposedly he aspired to having a female form like me.. tried to googled her and didn't find a thing and told her so she stated she had too many clients and didn't need a website.. could not contain myself laughing...I mean what man is stupid enough to have breast implants at a doms orders needless to say I ignored the texts and request..
Anyone else had any stupid  requests like this :)

That story rings a bell from years ago, must still be doing the rounds. ROFL.  ::)

if that's the case lol screwing to the so called escort/dom that was playing the texting game it didn't wash lol I am not that stupid or gullible  guess some ladies may well fall for all that cr** :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 02 December 2013, 12:13:23 am
Saw a client a few weeks back first meeting was great. Second meeting he told me I'd love to meet you in a dating scene (Both appointments were 15 minute ones, so found this a bit odd and made a point to say it was just business and that I'm already with somebody.)

Started to receive texts such as how are you, you okay, how's your day been etc, which were all ignored.

A few days ago, I received the following texts "hi" "hi u ok" "u working" "can I see u" "hello??" "are u busy" "nice to be ignored" all within the space of an hour.

I eventually text back saying if I don't answer  I'm in a booking or it's because of location/family/friends etc and I'm not working as I'm with my child. I then received "So I can't see you??"

Yeah...I'll just whore with my three year old child in the next room..pfffff
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nikitamids on 02 December 2013, 09:57:10 am
Quote from: hannah13 on 02 December 2013, 12:13:23 am
Saw a client a few weeks back first meeting was great. Second meeting he told me I'd love to meet you in a dating scene (Both appointments were 15 minute ones, so found this a bit odd and made a point to say it was just business and that I'm already with somebody.)

Started to receive texts such as how are you, you okay, how's your day been etc, which were all ignored.

A few days ago, I received the following texts "hi" "hi u ok" "u working" "can I see u" "hello??" "are u busy" "nice to be ignored" all within the space of an hour.

I eventually text back saying if I don't answer  I'm in a booking or it's because of location/family/friends etc and I'm not working as I'm with my child. I then received "So I can't see you??"

Yeah...I'll just whore with my three year old child in the next room..pfffff

Personally I would have blocked him after first appointment if he had continued to text like that some guys sometimes just can't get it into there heads its just work....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pussycat on 02 December 2013, 11:54:52 am
twit: HI can i meet u in hotil?

me: Wheres hotil? I'm based in London.

twit: <name of road known for crappy doss house type hotels> huny .can i call u about?

I decide to leave it there
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 02 December 2013, 01:05:22 pm
Anyone else received this one, looks like a copy and paste one to me ...............

 
Good day

You have a great profile :)

I enjoy very much being "weighted down" and dominated by strong women.

I prefer scenes where you would be laughing at my struggles.

I like to be trampled with your full weight. While you are trampling stomach or chest, do you also jump on your subs, just to make them understand who is in charge?

Do you do facestanding?

Besides trampling, there are a couple of things I also enjoy, carrying you and being used as your sitting pillow.

For example, you ask me to go down on my hands and knees on the floor, then you sit right in the middle of my back and lift your feet from the ground, so that I can enjoy your full weight. Then I carry on all fours you up and down the room, following your instructions. I like to have strong and heavy "riders" on me, making me carry them for quite some time.

Regarding being your sitting pillow, I'd like to lay on the bed, face up. You could sit on my face and put your leg along my body (so that all your weight stays on your bum) and then turn on the TV and pretend I am not under you?


Kind regards,
   


Funny, he has been on AW since 2004 but has only one (1) feedback and that's from way back in 2009  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 02 December 2013, 01:50:55 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 02 December 2013, 01:05:22 pm
Anyone else received this one, looks like a copy and paste one to me ...............

 
Good day

You have a great profile :)

I enjoy very much being "weighted down" and dominated by strong women.

I prefer scenes where you would be laughing at my struggles.

I like to be trampled with your full weight. While you are trampling stomach or chest, do you also jump on your subs, just to make them understand who is in charge?

Do you do facestanding?

Besides trampling, there are a couple of things I also enjoy, carrying you and being used as your sitting pillow.

For example, you ask me to go down on my hands and knees on the floor, then you sit right in the middle of my back and lift your feet from the ground, so that I can enjoy your full weight. Then I carry on all fours you up and down the room, following your instructions. I like to have strong and heavy "riders" on me, making me carry them for quite some time.

Regarding being your sitting pillow, I'd like to lay on the bed, face up. You could sit on my face and put your leg along my body (so that all your weight stays on your bum) and then turn on the TV and pretend I am not under you?


Kind regards,
   


Funny, he has been on AW since 2004 but has only one (1) feedback and that's from way back in 2009  ::)

Pretty sure he contacted me when I first started, gave me loads of old flannel about how he would book a hotel in Hammersmith, and how he had experience in women far heavier than me sitting/standing on him. Even had some pics on his profile. He wanted to be ridden like a horse and to be used as my personal weighing scales. No, he never ended up booking me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 02 December 2013, 05:22:58 pm
Text just received .

"OLRYT WHOS THIS "
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 04 December 2013, 11:04:21 am
Just received a text saying................

Looking to book half hour way u pal

 ::)  ::)

This is the same fuckwit that asked me what he could get for ?30 then gave me a belly full of abuse for telling him to go fuck himself with his ?30

Considering my minimum payment for my time is ?100 so he's a long way out thinking he can get anything for ?30

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nikitamids on 04 December 2013, 06:08:49 pm
text message today..

Alright sue see told you I had an 11 inch cock love ryan

Laughing my ass off seen as my names not sue and I did not see a ryan yesterday :)


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 04 December 2013, 06:54:59 pm
He's obviously sent that "by accident"  ::)

I get so many fake "by accident" texts, I just laugh.

They are just trying to get a response out of you even if it is to tell them they have the wrong number.

Pathetic  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nikitamids on 04 December 2013, 08:08:18 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 04 December 2013, 06:54:59 pm
He's obviously sent that "by accident"  ::)

I get so many fake "by accident" texts, I just laugh.

They are just trying to get a response out of you even if it is to tell them they have the wrong number.

Pathetic  ::)


just deleted and blocked him lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 05 December 2013, 02:13:31 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 04 December 2013, 06:54:59 pm
He's obviously sent that "by accident"  ::)

I get so many fake "by accident" texts, I just laugh.

They are just trying to get a response out of you even if it is to tell them they have the wrong number.

Pathetic  ::)
Oh my god me too!! All the time! Why the fuck do they even bother? My work phone is a different number to my personal phone obviously so when I get texts like the other day saying "Hiya, hope you're well sorry I haven't been in touch, how the nursing degree going?" And bollocks like that when I'm not even doing a bloody nursing degree I just laugh and text them back saying "I'm way to clever to fall for this utter bullshit" and then surprise surprise they get all abusive ....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 05 December 2013, 08:13:49 am
My mates have been playing with my phone is another good one.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 05 December 2013, 08:45:20 am
Quote from: Strawberry on 05 December 2013, 08:13:49 am
My mates have been playing with my phone is another good one.

OMG yes, I have had that several times actually  ::) xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 05 December 2013, 08:48:41 am
Quote from: MissKylie on 05 December 2013, 02:13:31 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 04 December 2013, 06:54:59 pm
He's obviously sent that "by accident"  ::)

I get so many fake "by accident" texts, I just laugh.

They are just trying to get a response out of you even if it is to tell them they have the wrong number.

Pathetic  ::)
Oh my god me too!! All the time! Why the fuck do they even bother? My work phone is a different number to my personal phone obviously so when I get texts like the other day saying "Hiya, hope you're well sorry I haven't been in touch, how the nursing degree going?" And bollocks like that when I'm not even doing a bloody nursing degree I just laugh and text them back saying "I'm way to clever to fall for this utter bullshit" and then surprise surprise they get all abusive ....

Yeah they always got abusive with me too, that's why I don't bother replying now at all xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Grumpy Cow on 05 December 2013, 07:54:09 pm
But you are still rising to the bait by even responding to such texts.  Delete and block
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MaddieMoo on 06 December 2013, 12:45:16 pm
Got this today...

Subject: Hey Madrid

Are you free today (daytime) for an hours outcall to halifax?

Text me or reply, [removed - please DON'T post phone numbers on the forum]

Get my name right, maybe I'll reply then!

1. Get my name right
2. I'm in Manchester and only do outcalls within Greater Manchester. No West Yorkshire locations.
3. Even if I did, that little notice for all that way?
4. Alx? I don't even think you can get your own name right

I honestly despair. It's the simple things that piss me off.  :FF I know he hasn't done me any harm but tbh I wish he was a TW because the thought of someone just that incapable drives me mad. Even on the spellings, sure it could be autocorrect, but you should proof-read a message! *Flings scarf over shoulder* I'm a professional, damn it!  8)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 06 December 2013, 05:38:43 pm
From a wanker who texts me at least once a week for the last 3 years whom I have never seen nor will, I don't even respond so not sure why he bothers

'She like to have some naughty fun this afternoon, she like to cover each other in baby oil, she likes to give each other massages. Look forward to hear from you...... Hear from who? The cats mother he keeps referring to!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 07 December 2013, 11:19:23 am
Quote from: MaddieMoo on 06 December 2013, 12:45:16 pm
Got this today...

Subject: Hey Madrid

Are you free today (daytime) for an hours outcall to halifax?

Text me or reply, [removed]
Alx

Get my name right, maybe I'll reply then!

1. Get my name right
2. I'm in Manchester and only do outcalls within Greater Manchester. No West Yorkshire locations.
3. Even if I did, that little notice for all that way?
4. Alx? I don't even think you can get your own name right

I honestly despair. It's the simple things that piss me off.  :FF I know he hasn't done me any harm but tbh I wish he was a TW because the thought of someone just that incapable drives me mad. Even on the spellings, sure it could be autocorrect, but you should proof-read a message! *Flings scarf over shoulder* I'm a professional, damn it!  8)

Yeah I see your frustration sweetie as the little things annoy me too but surely this doesn't warrant you posting his full phone number? I don't even think we're allowed to post full phone numbers on the warning section xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 07 December 2013, 11:24:59 am
The number has been removed - thank you to the members who reported it. Can I just point out that quoting a post without editing it so that the number appears again doesn't make our lives any easier either?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MaddieMoo on 07 December 2013, 05:01:17 pm
Omgosh sorry folks!! I thought I'd taken that out entirely! Must have been on autopilot!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 09 December 2013, 09:01:05 am
Got a phone call from a ned/chav 15 minutes ago with his mates in the back ground making noise and he say's in his wee neddy voice..................................

Hello is this prostitution?

Phone goes down of course, fucking wee wanks starting their crap at 8.45am

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 09 December 2013, 11:26:15 am

Quote from: Pink~Princess on 09 December 2013, 09:01:05 am
Hello is this prostitution?


Oh my god that's so funny that just made me giggle like hell!

Got this yesterday.  Must be doing the rounds again!

hello

i can offer free accommodation in my home in return for house help

skype: viki. *****

thanks

 :FF  WTF!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 09 December 2013, 06:31:54 pm
'Hi pussy u bussy?'


is he addressing me as a weakling or is he addressing my pussy DIRECTLY?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 09 December 2013, 06:56:16 pm
Quote from: curvy_girl on 09 December 2013, 06:31:54 pm
'Hi pussy u bussy?'


is he addressing me as a weakling or is he addressing my pussy DIRECTLY?!

Hahahaha, I really lolled with that one  ;D

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 10 December 2013, 01:25:09 am
AW, today:
Just wanted to tell you that I had a role play on aw and I was told to have you in mind.
One role play later and I was absolutely exhausted. You gave me the best orgasm ever
without even knowing it! :-)
I have to say that you are a stunning woman. I would, totally. Never say never.
Xxxx

Er, thanks?   ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: XxJennyxX on 10 December 2013, 11:02:44 am
Haha!!

This post as given me the best giggles ever for about half an hour!

So the latest bombscares i've had lately where,

Mister tomato fetish guy, (HOLLYSH*T)
So this was the jist of an email i received on AW.


Can I book you for 2 hours. Edinburgh area.
I want to pour tomato juice down your knickers and F*ck you bareback using my pasata juice as lube while my cherry plums smack against your bot.


Soooo, yeeeh my profile clearly states i do not offer bareback services. Even after i ignored the email i got a few othesr telling me about how his cherryplums where aching to have his vine growing in me....

WEIRD!

I don't know if guys just get a kick out of sending weird things like that or if he was being genuine.  Honestly we could write a 8000 page book on the worlds weirdest sex fantasies ladies!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 10 December 2013, 01:05:42 pm
Quote from: curvy_girl on 09 December 2013, 06:31:54 pm
'Hi pussy u bussy?'

is he addressing me as a weakling or is he addressing my pussy DIRECTLY?!

Oh he's addressing pussy without a doubt.

You could have just answered meow
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 10 December 2013, 01:11:44 pm
I figured. Had someone ask If my boobs were producing milk...

In the scheme of things probably not as weird as other things that have been asked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 10 December 2013, 02:22:30 pm
Quote from: XxJennyxX on 10 December 2013, 11:02:44 am
Haha!!

This post as given me the best giggles ever for about half an hour!

So the latest bombscares i've had lately where,

Mister tomato fetish guy, (HOLLYSH*T)
So this was the jist of an email i received on AW.


Can I book you for 2 hours. Edinburgh area.
I want to pour tomato juice down your knickers and F*ck you bareback using my pasata juice as lube while my cherry plums smack against your bot.


Soooo, yeeeh my profile clearly states i do not offer bareback services. Even after i ignored the email i got a few othesr telling me about how his cherryplums where aching to have his vine growing in me....

WEIRD!

I don't know if guys just get a kick out of sending weird things like that or if he was being genuine.  Honestly we could write a 8000 page book on the worlds weirdest sex fantasies ladies!

Yeah that is defo weird, there's a guy in Glasgow who's completely, genuinely obsessed with custard pies  ::)

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 10 December 2013, 02:38:34 pm
Just got a phone call from a young Asian man (Have nothing against Asian men, I have lots of Asian clients)

Me ~ Hello
Him ~ What's your address?
Me ~ Sorry I am not giving my address out to a complete stranger who hasn't said hello, asked if I am available or booked an appointment with me then I put the phone down.

Then received a text saying.............

So I'm a stranger!Da people dat cum to fuk yu must be friends n family den!!!Yu need to change ur fucken Attitude!!Girl

Now all I can say is that I was once again correct to hang up on this moron as he's clearly the type I try to avoid and its funny how me calling him a stranger seemed to shock him. If he's not a stranger then what is he? All clients are stranger's if we've never met before but obviously I am not going to invite a complete stranger into my flat to engage in that sort of service who has given me a bad vibe such as this guy did.

I agree that I can have an attitude at times but ONLY for absolute fucking idiots. I never have an attitude for nice clients. Some people seem to forget that escort or not we're only human. Its natural to have an attitude when someone is not very pleasant towards you or if its someone you wouldn't entertain for which ever reason they have given you.

 ::)  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RR on 10 December 2013, 02:47:05 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 10 December 2013, 02:38:34 pm
Just got a phone call from a young Asian man (Have nothing against Asian men, I have lots of Asian clients)

Me ~ Hello
Him ~ What's your address?
Me ~ Sorry I am not giving my address out to a complete stranger who hasn't said hello, asked if I am available or booked an appointment with me then I put the phone down.

Then received a text saying.............

So I'm a stranger!Da people dat cum to fuk yu must be friends n family den!!!Yu need to change ur fucken Attitude!!Girl

Now all I can say is that I was once again correct to hang up on this moron as he's clearly the type I try to avoid and its funny how me calling him a stranger seemed to shock him. If he's not a stranger then what is he? All clients are stranger's if we've never met before but obviously I am not going to invite a complete stranger into my flat to engage in that sort of service who has given me a bad vibe such as this guy did.

I agree that I can have an attitude at times but ONLY for absolute fucking idiots. I never have an attitude for nice clients. Some people seem to forget that escort or not we're only human. Its natural to have an attitude when someone is not very pleasant towards you or if its someone you wouldn't entertain for which ever reason they have given you.

 ::)  ::)

oh no, try not to cry yourself to sleep tonight PP, I know you lost out on a right catch there :(

Had one guy ask me if I do outcalls to houses, I said no, he got snotty as hell and snapped "well I was going to spend ?300" - I replied sorry, good luck and hung up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 10 December 2013, 03:07:30 pm
Hahaha I'll try not to  :'(

Yeah its funny when the hit out with how much money they were gonna spend as if that's gonna make us go ok then since its you and your spending so much money  ::)

I always get guys late at nite when I reject their call texting me telling me they have big bags of coke and ???? which always really annoys me, I hate how so many people (not just guys) assume that all girls in the sex industry are drug takers, don't get me wrong I am sure there is loads of girls who do but I am not one of them.

I hate that stereotype along with all girls in the industry having "daddy issues" I chose to be an escort to help me get what I want in life, nothing to do with my family or upbringing. I love my dad with all my heart and hate how some of the abuse I get in texts accuse me of being a victim of child abuse or that I am on drugs just because I escort for a living  :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 10 December 2013, 03:18:24 pm
Email convo today...

HIS EMAIL:

Hello I want to book a session


(I guessed he hadn't read anything, so replied)

MY REPLY:

Hi,
What services are you interested in, what date/time were you thinking of, incall or outcall?
Thanks :)

HIS REPLY:

I've booked a room in Kent this Thursday for a conference, and I need a companion from 4.00 pm and then stay overnight with me, how much are we looking at?


(so now I KNEW he hadn't read anything - and besides, I can't make Thursday, so...)

MY REPLY:

Hi,
I'm afraid I'm not available on Thursday, but for future ref it would be ?xxx
Thanks
Catherine


HIS REPLY:

oh then ill book another fatty


OooOOooOOoOOoooooOOOH! Ner ner ner-ner ner! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RR on 10 December 2013, 04:49:14 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 10 December 2013, 03:07:30 pm
Hahaha I'll try not to  :'(

Yeah its funny when the hit out with how much money they were gonna spend as if that's gonna make us go ok then since its you and your spending so much money  ::)

I always get guys late at nite when I reject their call texting me telling me they have big bags of coke and ???? which always really annoys me, I hate how so many people (not just guys) assume that all girls in the sex industry are drug takers, don't get me wrong I am sure there is loads of girls who do but I am not one of them.

I hate that stereotype along with all girls in the industry having "daddy issues" I chose to be an escort to help me get what I want in life, nothing to do with my family or upbringing. I love my dad with all my heart and hate how some of the abuse I get in texts accuse me of being a victim of child abuse or that I am on drugs just because I escort for a living  :(

I always get the ones who ask me if the job has discoloured my view of men, that I'd never be able to trust them etc. On my more bitchy days I always think "oh honey, if only you knew ::)..." I always was a proper daddy's girl (still am) and when that inference has came up to me about 'daddy issues' I just shrug and reply "I could have slaved away making ?140 a weekend working in a call centre, having a direct impact on my studies - or I could have made ?140 an hour and had other time to study, the maths side of things isn't that hard really. Oh, and I graduated with first class honours" and smile sweetly.

Its clearly stated, in bloody bold, on my profile that I only answer my phone between 8am and 9pm - I don't block people who call up until 11pm, but any callers between 11pm and stupid o clock are saved under variations of "can't read won't read twat" and blocked. Its cute when they try and call again at a normal hour and it auto rejects ;D I did get a belter of a voicemail at 2am today though, I saved it for the comedy factor. Can't remember it word for word, but its some happy drunk guy telling me how he "wants woman and I seen your photos and you, you, youuuu are very pretty woman." Then starts reeling off all the things he enjoys, including wine and Hollyoaks. At one point he starts singing then hangs up with "ok call me baby night night". Beautiful :'(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 10 December 2013, 05:58:14 pm
Quote from: Nameless on 10 December 2013, 01:05:42 pm
Quote from: curvy_girl on 09 December 2013, 06:31:54 pm
'Hi pussy u bussy?'

is he addressing me as a weakling or is he addressing my pussy DIRECTLY?!

Oh he's addressing pussy without a doubt.

You could have just answered meow

Ha. I will next time.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 11 December 2013, 12:53:52 am
Quote from: RR on 10 December 2013, 04:49:14 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 10 December 2013, 03:07:30 pm
Hahaha I'll try not to  :'(

Yeah its funny when the hit out with how much money they were gonna spend as if that's gonna make us go ok then since its you and your spending so much money  ::)

I always get guys late at nite when I reject their call texting me telling me they have big bags of coke and ???? which always really annoys me, I hate how so many people (not just guys) assume that all girls in the sex industry are drug takers, don't get me wrong I am sure there is loads of girls who do but I am not one of them.

I hate that stereotype along with all girls in the industry having "daddy issues" I chose to be an escort to help me get what I want in life, nothing to do with my family or upbringing. I love my dad with all my heart and hate how some of the abuse I get in texts accuse me of being a victim of child abuse or that I am on drugs just because I escort for a living  :(

I always get the ones who ask me if the job has discoloured my view of men, that I'd never be able to trust them etc. On my more bitchy days I always think "oh honey, if only you knew ::)..." I always was a proper daddy's girl (still am) and when that inference has came up to me about 'daddy issues' I just shrug and reply "I could have slaved away making ?140 a weekend working in a call centre, having a direct impact on my studies - or I could have made ?140 an hour and had other time to study, the maths side of things isn't that hard really. Oh, and I graduated with first class honours" and smile sweetly.

Its clearly stated, in bloody bold, on my profile that I only answer my phone between 8am and 9pm - I don't block people who call up until 11pm, but any callers between 11pm and stupid o clock are saved under variations of "can't read won't read twat" and blocked. Its cute when they try and call again at a normal hour and it auto rejects ;D I did get a belter of a voicemail at 2am today though, I saved it for the comedy factor. Can't remember it word for word, but its some happy drunk guy telling me how he "wants woman and I seen your photos and you, you, youuuu are very pretty woman." Then starts reeling off all the things he enjoys, including wine and Hollyoaks. At one point he starts singing then hangs up with "ok call me baby night night". Beautiful :'(

As much as I cant stand drunks, ignorant people and rude people this guys actually sounds quite sweet from what you've written as well as a total numpty. I'd prob see him, if he phoned me at a normal time.

The drunks I get harass the life out of me and ask me if its ok for him and his mate to spit roast me etc etc etc which to me is just little wank stains that I'd never want to meet in any situation. Hate disrespectful, crude people.

But that drunk guy saying nite nite baby and all that is actually quite cute along with his liking for Hollyoaks etc, lol.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 11 December 2013, 03:10:19 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 10 December 2013, 03:07:30 pm

I hate that stereotype along with all girls in the industry having "daddy issues" I chose to be an escort to help me get what I want in life, nothing to do with my family or upbringing. I love my dad with all my heart and hate how some of the abuse I get in texts accuse me of being a victim of child abuse or that I am on drugs just because I escort for a living  :(

Funny you should say that!! Look what I received tonight!

Quote
Fuck me... words really do fail me! You are, quite simply, hideous! You are fucking huge. Disgusting!

Your Father must be very proud of the way you have turned out - a little whore trying to get money out of lonely men! You know fuck all about this lifestyle, you silly little girl. Maybe if your Father had taken your knickers down and given you a good bare bottom spanking over his knee a little more often you would have turned out a better person. Fucking parasite!

I thought first that HE was the one with Daddy issues... and then I realised his Mummy was probably fat and cruel, and he's just trying to get his own back on her by stamping his little foot and scweaming at the nasty fat ladies online.

Bless.

(ps: little girl??! I'm size 32 and age 42 - not a 'little girl' in any sense of the words!)




.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 11 December 2013, 04:34:34 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 11 December 2013, 03:10:19 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 10 December 2013, 03:07:30 pm

I hate that stereotype along with all girls in the industry having "daddy issues" I chose to be an escort to help me get what I want in life, nothing to do with my family or upbringing. I love my dad with all my heart and hate how some of the abuse I get in texts accuse me of being a victim of child abuse or that I am on drugs just because I escort for a living  :(

Funny you should say that!! Look what I received tonight!

Quote
Fuck me... words really do fail me! You are, quite simply, hideous! You are fucking huge. Disgusting!

Your Father must be very proud of the way you have turned out - a little whore trying to get money out of lonely men! You know fuck all about this lifestyle, you silly little girl. Maybe if your Father had taken your knickers down and given you a good bare bottom spanking over his knee a little more often you would have turned out a better person. Fucking parasite!

I thought first that HE was the one with Daddy issues... and then I realised his Mummy was probably fat and cruel, and he's just trying to get his own back on her by stamping his little foot and scweaming at the nasty fat ladies online.

Bless.

(ps: little girl??! I'm size 32 and age 42 - not a 'little girl' in any sense of the words!)




.

Yeah something does scream "I wasn't breast fed" about his email
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 11 December 2013, 09:06:37 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 11 December 2013, 03:10:19 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 10 December 2013, 03:07:30 pm

I hate that stereotype along with all girls in the industry having "daddy issues" I chose to be an escort to help me get what I want in life, nothing to do with my family or upbringing. I love my dad with all my heart and hate how some of the abuse I get in texts accuse me of being a victim of child abuse or that I am on drugs just because I escort for a living  :(

Funny you should say that!! Look what I received tonight!

Quote
Fuck me... words really do fail me! You are, quite simply, hideous! You are fucking huge. Disgusting!

Your Father must be very proud of the way you have turned out - a little whore trying to get money out of lonely men! You know fuck all about this lifestyle, you silly little girl. Maybe if your Father had taken your knickers down and given you a good bare bottom spanking over his knee a little more often you would have turned out a better person. Fucking parasite!

I thought first that HE was the one with Daddy issues... and then I realised his Mummy was probably fat and cruel, and he's just trying to get his own back on her by stamping his little foot and scweaming at the nasty fat ladies online.

Bless.

(ps: little girl??! I'm size 32 and age 42 - not a 'little girl' in any sense of the words!)




.

I don't think enough clients realise how much abuse some of us receive on a daily basis, I get it all the time. I know for a fact I have had a bad day of abuse/stalking and have found it difficult talking to client on the phone where my patience is low which then looks like I have a bad attitude when I don't, escort or not we're only human and some of us aren't great at brushing these things off. Some people would say take the day off if your feeling low but if I was to take a day off every time I was upset be a complete looser then I'd hardly ever be at work and I don't see why I should let these guys affect my income along with my happiness. I still get very upset when people are mean to me, don't know why I haven't learnt to deal with it.

I always have guys text me saying that my parents must be so proud of me which does really upset me cause it makes me feel guilty as I know my parents never brought me up to be a prostitute and if they ever found out it would destroy them and they would blame themselves thinking they had done something wrong along the way but the fact is my parents are very proud of me, they think I can look after myself, provide a decent lifestyle for myself, I am very generous and caring and I do everything I can to help them with financial difficulties they have at times. I treat them with respect and I show my love for them so much that they are forever telling me that I am a wonderful daughter.

These guys give me abuse usually for hanging up on them but I only hang up when something doesn't seem right or sound right, I don't see why I should entertain their call so when they realise I have hung up the abuse and threats just roll in which just confirms to me that I was correct to hang up on them so being able to tell that someone is a complete idiot/arsehole after speaking to them for a matter of seconds on the phone actually tells me that their parents must be proud of them since their bad manners and disrespect for other people/women rips right through them which say's a lot more about them as a person than me.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 11 December 2013, 09:28:34 am
Perhaps you need a different way to deal with these calls rather than hanging up? It wont stop it completely but could reduce it?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RR on 11 December 2013, 09:50:17 am
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 11 December 2013, 04:34:34 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 11 December 2013, 03:10:19 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 10 December 2013, 03:07:30 pm

I hate that stereotype along with all girls in the industry having "daddy issues" I chose to be an escort to help me get what I want in life, nothing to do with my family or upbringing. I love my dad with all my heart and hate how some of the abuse I get in texts accuse me of being a victim of child abuse or that I am on drugs just because I escort for a living  :(

Funny you should say that!! Look what I received tonight!

Quote
Fuck me... words really do fail me! You are, quite simply, hideous! You are fucking huge. Disgusting!

Your Father must be very proud of the way you have turned out - a little whore trying to get money out of lonely men! You know fuck all about this lifestyle, you silly little girl. Maybe if your Father had taken your knickers down and given you a good bare bottom spanking over his knee a little more often you would have turned out a better person. Fucking parasite!

I thought first that HE was the one with Daddy issues... and then I realised his Mummy was probably fat and cruel, and he's just trying to get his own back on her by stamping his little foot and scweaming at the nasty fat ladies online.

Bless.

(ps: little girl??! I'm size 32 and age 42 - not a 'little girl' in any sense of the words!)




.

Yeah something does scream "I wasn't breast fed" about his email

HHJJ, I just spat out my coffee!

And your father raised you wrong - soooooooooo he were raised so much better trawling escorts' websites to send abusive emails ::) riiiight.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 11 December 2013, 10:13:12 am
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 11 December 2013, 09:28:34 am
Perhaps you need a different way to deal with these calls rather than hanging up? It wont stop it completely but could reduce it?

What do you suggest? When a guy phones me up and says.................

Awrite doll, can me and ma mate come round and pump you later?

Living and working in Glasgow, that IS the kind of phone call I get lol.

Or someone phones me up and sounds really creepy or very loud/abrupt. I just panic on the spot and think oh fuck and hang up, lol.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RR on 11 December 2013, 10:22:19 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 11 December 2013, 09:06:37 am
I don't think enough clients realise how much abuse some of us receive on a daily basis, I get it all the time. I know for a fact I have had a bad day of abuse/stalking and have found it difficult talking to client on the phone where my patience is low which then looks like I have a bad attitude when I don't, escort or not we're only human and some of us aren't great at brushing these things off. Some people would say take the day off if your feeling low but if I was to take a day off every time I was upset be a complete looser then I'd hardly ever be at work and I don't see why I should let these guys affect my income along with my happiness. I still get very upset when people are mean to me, don't know why I haven't learnt to deal with it.

I always have guys text me saying that my parents must be so proud of me which does really upset me cause it makes me feel guilty as I know my parents never brought me up to be a prostitute and if they ever found out it would destroy them and they would blame themselves thinking they had done something wrong along the way but the fact is my parents are very proud of me, the think I can look after myself, provide a decent lifestyle for myself, I am very generous and caring and I do everything I can to help them with financial difficulties they have at times. I treat them with respect and I show my love for them so much that they are forever telling me that I am a wonderful daughter.

These guys give me abuse usually for hanging up on them but I only hand up when something doesn't seem right or sound right, I don't see why I should entertain their call so when they realise I have hung up the abuse and threats just roll in which just confirms to me that I was correct to hang up on them so being able to tell that someone is a complete idiot/arsehole after speaking to them for a matter of seconds on the phone actually tells me that their parents must be proud of them since their bad manners and disrespect for other people/women rips right through them which say's a lot more about them as a person than me.

xx

I had a good laugh at Hollyoaks man's voicemail - he sounded harmless, but oh the comedy value ;D

If I don't like the sound of someone I just say I'm busy today, sorry or "something's came up, I won't be available until later today" - I remain quite pleasant and neutral to them, so they've got no reason to kick off (of course, some of them do anyway, because they're fuckwits). If they get pushy for a time I ask them to call back about X time. I then hang up, store their number as something like "do not answer" and if I have gotten the unpleasant vibe, I block immediately. If they do kick off despite my being pleasant with them, I don't react - the reaction is what they want, ultimately, and I'm not prepared to hand it to them. If they are asking for things I won't cater to - MMF or whatever stupid shit they've dreamt up today in my eyes - again I just say "sorry its not something I enjoy or offer". I don't hang up straight away because I think it may be a genuine request (I've had clients ask during bookings if I would ever consider two men) as some women do offer the things I wouldn't touch (MMF, orgies and what not) or its someone being a dick trying to get a rise out of Ze Prostitute - to me, personally, giving it 5 seconds in my head is not handing over power to them, whereas an instant click does. If its the latter, he's gotten a rise out of me, so he will then take it upon himself to troll me (for the lulz) via text and phone call. If its the former, then they're generally okay about it and hang up themselves.

Often I find the 'kill em with kindness' approach does work - if they know they're not getting a rise out of you, it bores the wind up merchants and they hang up. I don't like being hung up on myself, it infuriates me as I find it so rude so I figure that it must piss off other people too. However some people who call do deserve to be hung up on and those ones I usually try and delay their abusive text message by seeming completely nonchalant about the crap they've came out with. Sometimes seeming completely blase about hearing "I really want to fuck you up the arse with my mate" surprises them.

At the end of the day though your parents are right to be proud of you - you made the decision to do something that could easily set you up for life, to go far, to be financially stable and to achieve something in this life. If that is via escorting then fuck it, it still has the same end goal. I have a friend who knows what I do, who has a lot of financial worries and she said to me once "I wish I could do what you do, I would be comfortable financially for once". I know it would kill my family if they knew what I did too, but equally it would upset them if I was doing nothing with my life either. Sarcastic little comments like "your parents must be so proud of you" reflect more on the person making them - not you. xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RR on 11 December 2013, 10:37:39 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 11 December 2013, 10:13:12 am
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 11 December 2013, 09:28:34 am
Perhaps you need a different way to deal with these calls rather than hanging up? It wont stop it completely but could reduce it?

What do you suggest? When a guy phones me up and says.................

Awrite doll, can me and ma mate come round and pump you later?

xx

"Sorry, I'm busy up until 3, can you maybe give me a call back around 2 when I know my schedule a little better?" Him and his mate have no intentions of coming around, probably cuz his mate is up the Western getting a crayon removed from his nose ::) He isn't going to call back at 2, he hasn't gotten a rise out of you, you've caught him off guard because he likely wouldn't expect that response, he hasn't made a booking so can't complain you've stood him and matey boy up, you just asked him to call back later... If he persists, again, in the nice voice "sorry I'm just in the middle of something, call me back at 2 okay? Bye". Hang up, save as fuckface, block, job done. If he thinks he's going to be entertained with his nonsense at 2, he's unlikely to send abusive messages in the 3-5 min timeframe it takes to save and block.

If he's calling at 2am, again, "...shit can you give me a call back in 5 mins please, someone is at my door?" Unlikely to give abuse if he thinks he's going to have his bollocks entertained in 5 mins. Hang up, save, block.

I know what you mean about abrupt people - if I don't get a good feeling, I usually just trot out the I'm busy til X time response, I tell them I'm in Tesco and can't talk, I'm just about to drive, whatever. Some guys are just abrupt on the phone as they don't like talking on the phone (God every man in my family hates talking on the phone and all you get is 'yep' 'nope' 'ok see you at X time bye' but when you get them face to face they'll talk your face off), it may be they're in a place where they can't really talk freely either - I know some clients are uber paranoid about being heard on the phone talking about anything relating to their 'hobby' - and sometimes telling them you're in the middle of something can turn out to be a bit of an open ended question where they open up a little more. And loudness - I know some clients who are like that bloody bloke off Channel 4 shouting "I'M ON THE PHONE I'M ON THE BUS". Again I usually try and present them with something that can be a bit more open ended so I have a minute to work out whether they're a ballache or not.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 11 December 2013, 01:43:03 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 11 December 2013, 10:13:12 am
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 11 December 2013, 09:28:34 am
Perhaps you need a different way to deal with these calls rather than hanging up? It wont stop it completely but could reduce it?

What do you suggest? When a guy phones me up and says.................

Awrite doll, can me and ma mate come round and pump you later?

Living and working in Glasgow, that IS the kind of phone call I get lol.

Or someone phones me up and sounds really creepy or very loud/abrupt. I just panic on the spot and think oh fuck and hang up, lol.

xx

Nope.... I have no answer sorry I think you should stick to hanging up on them.  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 11 December 2013, 06:32:11 pm
Quote from: RR on 11 December 2013, 09:50:17 am
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 11 December 2013, 04:34:34 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 11 December 2013, 03:10:19 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 10 December 2013, 03:07:30 pm

I hate that stereotype along with all girls in the industry having "daddy issues" I chose to be an escort to help me get what I want in life, nothing to do with my family or upbringing. I love my dad with all my heart and hate how some of the abuse I get in texts accuse me of being a victim of child abuse or that I am on drugs just because I escort for a living  :(

Funny you should say that!! Look what I received tonight!

Quote
Fuck me... words really do fail me! You are, quite simply, hideous! You are fucking huge. Disgusting!

Your Father must be very proud of the way you have turned out - a little whore trying to get money out of lonely men! You know fuck all about this lifestyle, you silly little girl. Maybe if your Father had taken your knickers down and given you a good bare bottom spanking over his knee a little more often you would have turned out a better person. Fucking parasite!

I thought first that HE was the one with Daddy issues... and then I realised his Mummy was probably fat and cruel, and he's just trying to get his own back on her by stamping his little foot and scweaming at the nasty fat ladies online.

Bless.

(ps: little girl??! I'm size 32 and age 42 - not a 'little girl' in any sense of the words!)




.

Yeah something does scream "I wasn't breast fed" about his email

HHJJ, I just spat out my coffee!

And your father raised you wrong - soooooooooo he were raised so much better trawling escorts' websites to send abusive emails ::) riiiight.

Yup. Talk about pushing on their issue onto someone else...

If they really had a serious issue about prostitution in general and they were not stupid then they would be out doing something more productive about it rather than waste their time sending out pathetic emails.

Its the same kind of person who books and decided to be a total fucktard and waste peoples time not paying ect. If they were a genuine client then they wouldn't have to do such things.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 11 December 2013, 06:38:15 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 11 December 2013, 01:43:03 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 11 December 2013, 10:13:12 am
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 11 December 2013, 09:28:34 am
Perhaps you need a different way to deal with these calls rather than hanging up? It wont stop it completely but could reduce it?

What do you suggest? When a guy phones me up and says.................

Awrite doll, can me and ma mate come round and pump you later?

Living and working in Glasgow, that IS the kind of phone call I get lol.

Or someone phones me up and sounds really creepy or very loud/abrupt. I just panic on the spot and think oh fuck and hang up, lol.

xx

Nope.... I have no answer sorry I think you should stick to hanging up on them.  :-\

Haha hhjj  :D

I am too stuck in my ways, just got a call about an hour ago saying much for kissing and pussy licking?

As if I am gonna entertain that question with an answer, does he expect to be taken seriously? Does he expect me to invite him into my house? Does he think I am that desperate that I would honestly meet with him?  :FF

I hate crude people and I hate people that ignore my profile. I offer both those services but I think its quite clear that I don't put up with morons like him and nor do I charge PER SERVIVCE.

Grrrrrrrrr  >:(

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 11 December 2013, 08:57:58 pm
03:48 My phone rings, but caller hangs up. {I forgot to silence phone}  Back to sleep.
Three more similar calls before I'm awake enough to switch the phone off. Later, after
9am I ring the number back and leave a voicemail, inviting them to call me back, ideally
at a more social hour, to hopefully arrange an engagement.

A short time later a text:
Who is this ,you left a voice mail on my husbunds phone? Is it someone on a wind up.
-I had a missed call from that number at 03:48 this morning. Which is why I left a voicemail.

Idiot hubby, or more likely a text from him faking an annoyed wife.
Post phoning regret. Timewaster.
Hey ho....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Chanel xxx on 11 December 2013, 09:39:54 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 11 December 2013, 08:57:58 pm
03:48 My phone rings, but caller hangs up.  Back to sleep.
Later, after 9am I ring them back and leave a voicemail,
inviting them to call me back, ideally at a more social hour,
to hopefully arrange an engagement.

A short time later a text:
Who is this ,you left a voice mail on my husbunds phone? Is it someone on a wind up.

No wind-up.
I had a missed call from your husbands number at 03:48 this morning.
Check his outgoing call log to verify this
(assuming he hasn't deleted the call record which would pretty well prove it anyway...)
I'm a transsexual Escort which is why I left him a voicemail, by way of a reply to his earlier call..
My website below, provides a comprehensive range of services.
Phone me only (ie. No texting) if you/he/both of you are interested in meeting me.
(Yes I'm bisexual)
If hubby denies the earlier missed call from his phone,
you both need to have an open honest discussion about his sexuality and your relationship.
Jodie. xxx
www.---- 

Hey ho....

Lol Jodie....gurrrl you bad!!! Lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 11 December 2013, 11:07:49 pm
Quote from: JodieTs on 11 December 2013, 08:57:58 pm
03:48 My phone rings, but caller hangs up.  Back to sleep.
Later, after 9am I ring them back and leave a voicemail,
inviting them to call me back, ideally at a more social hour,
to hopefully arrange an engagement.

A short time later a text:
Who is this ,you left a voice mail on my husbunds phone? Is it someone on a wind up.

No wind-up.
I had a missed call from your husbands number at 03:48 this morning.
Check his outgoing call log to verify this
(assuming he hasn't deleted the call record which would pretty well prove it anyway...)
I'm a transsexual Escort which is why I left him a voicemail, by way of a reply to his earlier call..
My website below, provides a comprehensive range of services.
Phone me only (ie. No texting) if you/he/both of you are interested in meeting me.
(Yes I'm bisexual)
If hubby denies the earlier missed call from his phone,
you both need to have an open honest discussion about his sexuality and your relationship.
Jodie. xxx
www.---- 

Hey ho....

OMG Jodie, I don't agree with this at all  :(

I may get shot down in flames for this but that is a real shame for him. OK the daft bugger was really careless with not using a punting phone, obviously drunk when he phoned you but you calling him back (which is something I would never do) is bad practise as an escort IMO, I send a text if its within a couple of hours of me missing their call and I would never respond to anyone who phoned during the nite.

Not only have you exposed him for seeing prostitutes but also exposing his sexuality, his whole world has probably came crashing down and will now have to explain his sexuality to his wife/family and what if he has kids??

You've probably just broke up a whole family. OK so he's the one in the wrong for being unfaithful but you really didn't need to do what you did at all.

How would you like it if someone completely outed you everyone you love and care about??

I am all for supporting one another in this game but only if its the client in the wrong which admittedly is a hell of a lot of the time otherwise we'd have nothing to rant about on this forum but escorts aren't always in the right either.

Sorry I really don't agree with this, I am horrified but I have said my piece so will leave it be.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 12 December 2013, 03:39:46 am
Have to agree with PP on this one.  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CaraMxx on 12 December 2013, 03:45:01 am
Just got a text:

'Doors of Narnia open for a smashing? Excuse the pun. You free?'


I, one million percent, believe this person is on drugs.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Grumpy Cow on 12 December 2013, 05:17:34 am
Yep have to agree too about Jodie?s action.  If you really did this (so I hope it is usual attention seeking behaviour), I think you are totally out of order and unprofessional.  There is simply no need to be that spiteful and mean.  While annoying and thoughtless to call at an unsociable hour, your action is completely OTT.  I just hope that escorts newer to the business don?t think this is acceptable professional behaviour.  I normally ignore your bravado style confrontational posts but this is vile!  Yes a lot of our clients will be in relationships but we don?t need to rub their partner?s noses into it and jeopardise people?s relationships.  You seem to take pleasure in being confrontational with clients.  Yeah it might make good anecdotal stories on here but for a professional escort it is just plain stupid to be so antagonistic in this business.  We are already having to factor in the unknown in many cases why make ourselves even more vulnerable by playing stupid games?   
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 12 December 2013, 05:47:15 pm
Quote from: Grumpy Cow on 12 December 2013, 05:17:34 am
If you really did this (so I hope it is usual attention seeking behaviour),

I suspect so, somehow ::). I would hope that nobody who regularly reads this forum regularly and has for some time would be quite that stupid, thoughtless and generally fuckwitted, although stranger things have happened. I suggest we all laugh politely and then continue the thread giving it exactly the attention it deserves, which is none.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 12 December 2013, 06:37:34 pm
I also cannot laugh at Jodie's post, if this is what she's condoning then it's completely unacceptable. Really hope she hasn't behaved in that manner, discretion is supposed to be paramount in this job!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 12 December 2013, 10:02:54 pm
I don't know Jodie or her posting history here but I am on the bench with the other appalled members.

If I ever got a text of that sort I would either not reply at all or just say "I'm sorry. I have made a mistake" and then blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: x-Veronica-x on 12 December 2013, 11:01:40 pm
Got rang today off an unknown number and told really happily he was masturbating over me. What a thing to wake up too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CaraMxx on 13 December 2013, 02:19:01 am
Quote from: amy on 12 December 2013, 05:47:15 pm
Quote from: Grumpy Cow on 12 December 2013, 05:17:34 am
If you really did this (so I hope it is usual attention seeking behaviour),

I suspect so, somehow ::). I would hope that nobody who regularly reads this forum regularly and has for some time would be quite that stupid, thoughtless and generally fuckwitted, although stranger things have happened. I suggest we all laugh politely and then continue the thread giving it exactly the attention it deserves, which is none.

Amy, usually, when a matter is off topic you bring it elsewhere??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 13 December 2013, 09:00:36 am
Received a text this morning at 04.22 saying You open

 ::)  ::)

Absolute muppet, struggling to NOT text back calling him a fucking idiot but I wont  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 13 December 2013, 12:47:18 pm
Quote from: CaraMxx on 13 December 2013, 02:19:01 am
Amy, usually, when a matter is off topic you bring it elsewhere??

And had anybody thought to report the post members were objecting to instead of ignoring it or responding to voice their opinion or objection whilst it remained there for the world to read, I would gladly have dumped elsewhere. Since they did not (and I don't look at this thread often enough to have spotted it straight away) and I wasn't going to remove half a page of posts long after the fact for no good reason, the only appropriate course of action to prevent things degenerating further into a squabble would be to acknowledge it, and request that everybody moves on.

Back on topic.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 13 December 2013, 02:04:34 pm
Here's a nice one. "have you seen any pakis today cos I don't want to stick my duck where the Taliban have been." I told him that I only accept the cum of Tamil tigers and the ira. He didn't get the joke surprisingly.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 13 December 2013, 04:38:45 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 13 December 2013, 02:04:34 pm
Here's a nice one. "have you seen any pakis today cos I don't want to stick my duck where the Taliban have been." I told him that I only accept the cum of Tamil tigers and the ira. He didn't get the joke surprisingly.

OMG Hahahahahahahahaha xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 13 December 2013, 04:55:40 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 13 December 2013, 02:04:34 pm
Here's a nice one. "have you seen any pakis today cos I don't want to stick my duck where the Taliban have been." I told him that I only accept the cum of Tamil tigers and the ira. He didn't get the joke surprisingly.

DUCK  ;D

What an ass.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 13 December 2013, 07:19:33 pm
Idiot:- rates negotiotiable?
Me:- well no because I already have a winter discount as it is.
Idiot:- Oh ok well I am sure it is worth it.


It wasn't in a nice tone it was in a skeptical tone the last sentence -_-

Sorry, probably isn't that bad really. But my argument is that what the fuck is the point of calling someone up ask for a discount and wondering if it would be worth it?

Go away forever and ever and never return please thanks.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 13 December 2013, 07:44:57 pm
Massive tit of a client text: busy?
Me: sorry but who is this?
Massive tit: a client
Me: good for you
MT: Im askin if ur busy
Me: not busy
MT: can I cum at 7:30 plz (sent 5 times)
Me: I think not, have a lovely evening
Mt: but you said you weren't busy?
Me: that's right, the question you should have asked was are you working
Mt: don't be smart
Me: not smart is when someone politely asks your name, its best practise to tell thm your name, even a fake one
Mt whys that exactly (sent 5 times)

Phone goes to silent........... Is it to much to ask to expect a name, its so hard to find good punters these days, what is the world coming to.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 13 December 2013, 11:32:32 pm
I got a phone call this eve from a guy for a booking tomorrow, seems ok but a bit bland sounding then asks do you do foot fetish? I said yes though may I ask what it is that you like so I can tell you if I can do it or not? He said he wants to sniff my smelly feet  ::)

Me:I don't have smelly feet though, I am a clean person and I live in a clean house!
Him:Just wear your socks to bed over nite!
Me: I don't wear socks to bed and if I did, do I stand on my hands in the shower in the morning?

PAUSE..........

I HANG UP

Text messages.............

Him: So can I have the booking?

Me: No I think its best you find someone that can cater for your needs, sorry.

Him: Lol maybe I will get to sniff your stinky feet for ?500

Me: ?500 wont make my feet stinky though, Please stop texting me as I am not interested.

Him: Just let me bust my hot sticky white load all over your stinky little soles!

Me: Fuck off with your creepy, crude messages and do not text me again, I will not respond after this text!

Him: ?700 just to sniff your feet, don't care if they are stinky or not!

 ::)  ::)  ::)  ::)  ::)

This is a young guy too  ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 14 December 2013, 01:10:06 pm
Hello are you available at 2.30 for 1 hour

Try someone else I'm busy

You reason.Suck! Poor bitch

Hahaha I maybe new in this town but not new to escorting so try your play with someone else BYE

The old queen of bitch! It's you!

Number blocked BYE

See you next time with another telephone number

Where?Are you coming to the UK honey?

Maybe

Oh well,see you later then  lol

Ass hole!




Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 14 December 2013, 01:42:42 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 13 December 2013, 11:32:32 pm
I got a phone call this eve from a guy for a booking tomorrow, seems ok but a bit bland sounding then asks do you do foot fetish? I said yes though may I ask what it is that you like so I can tell you if I can do it or not? He said he wants to sniff my smelly feet  ::)

Me:I don't have smelly feet though, I am a clean person and I live in a clean house!
Him:Just wear your socks to bed over nite!
Me: I don't wear socks to bed and if I did, do I stand on my hands in the shower in the morning?

PAUSE..........

I HANG UP

Text messages.............

Him: So can I have the booking?

Me: No I think its best you find someone that can cater for your needs, sorry.

Him: Lol maybe I will get to sniff your stinky feet for ?500

Me: ?500 wont make my feet stinky though, Please stop texting me as I am not interested.

Him: Just let me bust my hot sticky white load all over your stinky little soles!

Me: Fuck off with your creepy, crude messages and do not text me again, I will not respond after this text!

Him: ?700 just to sniff your feet, don't care if they are stinky or not!

 ::)  ::)  ::)  ::)  ::)

This is a young guy too  ::)

Guys like this ruin it for the more polite foot fetishists.

I had a pair of old stinky ballet pumps I would wear on gig nights. I think I still have them and if I had to I would wear them for a day just to stink my feet up before the appointment! I would have to leave the day free and charge more than usual due to not wanting a soul (or should I say sole!) to get a wiff of me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 14 December 2013, 02:00:37 pm
Quote from: foreign affairs on 14 December 2013, 01:10:06 pm
Hello are you available at 2.30 for 1 hour

Try someone else I'm busy

You reason.Suck! Poor bitch

Hahaha I maybe new in this town but not new to escorting so try your play with someone else BYE

The old queen of bitch! It's you!

Number blocked BYE

See you next time with another telephone number

Where?Are you coming to the UK honey?

Maybe

Oh well,see you later then  lol

Ass hole!

Can I ask what it was that he originally did for you to give him such a snappy, cold response?

If all he asked was are you available at 2.30 for the hour and you snapped like that then I can understand his response x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 14 December 2013, 02:26:58 pm
His a local timewaster,and there are number of reports on him for making fake bookings.
My replay was that I'm busy and to try someone else.That's my usuall response to timewasters.
I don't think it's cold nor snappy.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 14 December 2013, 04:10:51 pm
Foreign Affairs  :D

Now that you have explained that he is a local, reported timewaster it makes perfect sense to not entertain him but you never said that in your post hence me questioning it and I am not aware of every time waster in the country.

If he wasn't a timewaster and just a regular guy phoning up to ask for an appointment at 2.30pm like you said in your original post then yes your reply was cold and snappy IMO.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 14 December 2013, 05:09:41 pm
I agree. This is why I don't deal with texts as I like to sound as good as I can and you don't always get that over texts and its not as formal for me as a phone conversation.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 14 December 2013, 07:55:39 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 14 December 2013, 04:10:51 pm
Foreign Affairs  :D

Now that you have explained that he is a local, reported timewaster it makes perfect sense to not entertain him but you never said that in your post hence me questioning it and I am not aware of every time waster in the country.

If he wasn't a timewaster and just a regular guy phoning up to ask for an appointment at 2.30pm like you said in your original post then yes your reply was cold and snappy IMO.

xx

I'm not like that with regular guys.Even when someone calls me names I don't abuse them,just block the number,and add report in Ugly Mugs.
It must be my hormones,pms is a bitch.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 15 December 2013, 11:51:15 am
You open moron raises his ugly head again at 03.59 this time saying.........

You open

 :FF  :FF

How about you fuck off with your stupid texts at stupid times ya dick  ;D

Taking me all my strength not to text him back saying that but he would obviously react in defence and I cant be bothered with text ping pong abuse on a Sunday morning.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 15 December 2013, 02:45:39 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 15 December 2013, 11:51:15 am
You open moron raises his ugly head again at 03.59 this time saying.........

You open

 :FF  :FF

How about you fuck off with your stupid texts at stupid times ya dick  ;D

Taking me all my strength not to text him back saying that but he would obviously react in defence and I cant be bothered with text ping pong abuse on a Sunday morning.

I would say:-

What the hell do you mean by 'you open?' I am a person, not a shop you moron!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 15 December 2013, 04:50:51 pm
"hey i see your relatively knew to this so am i, i've noticed that a lot of people want threesomes or to watch others. so i was wondering if you wanted we could join up if we are ever asked for it? of course you can have the larger amount of the money we earn its up to you how we split it? get back to me let me know what you think, if you want to see pics or anything just ask it wont let me upload any, thanks"

Yaaaawwn!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RR on 15 December 2013, 09:02:05 pm
I got offered a free haircut from a hairdresser on there (male). Apparently he just likes the company...

Yeah.............no.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss_cinders on 15 December 2013, 09:06:29 pm
Quote from: curvy_girl on 15 December 2013, 02:45:39 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 15 December 2013, 11:51:15 am
You open moron raises his ugly head again at 03.59 this time saying.........

You open

 :FF  :FF

How about you fuck off with your stupid texts at stupid times ya dick  ;D

Taking me all my strength not to text him back saying that but he would obviously react in defence and I cant be bothered with text ping pong abuse on a Sunday morning.

I would say:-

What the hell do you mean by 'you open?' I am a person, not a shop you moron!



Love it....not a shop.....I am so stealing that!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 16 December 2013, 11:54:42 am
Quote from: Miss_cinders on 15 December 2013, 09:06:29 pm
Quote from: curvy_girl on 15 December 2013, 02:45:39 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 15 December 2013, 11:51:15 am
You open moron raises his ugly head again at 03.59 this time saying.........

You open

 :FF  :FF

How about you fuck off with your stupid texts at stupid times ya dick  ;D

Taking me all my strength not to text him back saying that but he would obviously react in defence and I cant be bothered with text ping pong abuse on a Sunday morning.

I would say:-

What the hell do you mean by 'you open?' I am a person, not a shop you moron!



Love it....not a shop.....I am so stealing that!!


I also just got asked if someone could 'rent' me for two hours.

I guess that's a little more fair enough but for a moment I felt like a Blockbuster DVD  ;D

I prefer 'book' but there you go :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 16 December 2013, 10:15:01 pm
AW have dealt with him .

Good .

He is wasting their bandwidth if nothing else :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 16 December 2013, 10:15:44 pm
Quote from: KinkyVixen on 28 October 2013, 06:23:38 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 27 October 2013, 12:16:01 am
Cant say he's been in contact with me thankfully but why not block him? x


He is blocked, It irks me that men liek him who send 600 mails a day are allowed to remain though.

That guy ) above post ..600 a day emailer man.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JuicyLucy on 16 December 2013, 11:53:54 pm
What's been annoying me lately are people sending me me messages with specific requests and as soon as I reply to confirm I can do the booking and give them info on how to book they read the message and I get NO reply. The thought of actually having sex is more arousing than doing it :(.

I had one guy text me yesterday asking me for an incall wanted to film it yada yada yada I agreed and asked what time and was shocked to find it was in the next 30 minutes. I was laid in bed in my pj's and decided that I would stay and watch TV as I had a feeling it was a TW. Got a call asking for my address did so and then a no show. His argument was I didn't give him my address in enough time?? Back to watching TV it was!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 17 December 2013, 12:21:23 am
Quote from: curvy_girl on 16 December 2013, 11:54:42 am
Quote from: Miss_cinders on 15 December 2013, 09:06:29 pm
Quote from: curvy_girl on 15 December 2013, 02:45:39 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 15 December 2013, 11:51:15 am
You open moron raises his ugly head again at 03.59 this time saying.........

You open

 :FF  :FF

How about you fuck off with your stupid texts at stupid times ya dick  ;D

Taking me all my strength not to text him back saying that but he would obviously react in defence and I cant be bothered with text ping pong abuse on a Sunday morning.

I would say:-

What the hell do you mean by 'you open?' I am a person, not a shop you moron!



Love it....not a shop.....I am so stealing that!!


I also just got asked if someone could 'rent' me for two hours.

I guess that's a little more fair enough but for a moment I felt like a Blockbuster DVD  ;D

I prefer 'book' but there you go :P


Blockbusters has closed down as far as I know they went bust a few weeks ago ( well my local store did)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 17 December 2013, 08:51:56 am
Quote from: ParisB on 17 December 2013, 12:21:23 am
Quote from: curvy_girl on 16 December 2013, 11:54:42 am
Quote from: Miss_cinders on 15 December 2013, 09:06:29 pm
Quote from: curvy_girl on 15 December 2013, 02:45:39 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 15 December 2013, 11:51:15 am
You open moron raises his ugly head again at 03.59 this time saying.........

You open

 :FF  :FF

How about you fuck off with your stupid texts at stupid times ya dick  ;D

Taking me all my strength not to text him back saying that but he would obviously react in defence and I cant be bothered with text ping pong abuse on a Sunday morning.

I would say:-

What the hell do you mean by 'you open?' I am a person, not a shop you moron!



Love it....not a shop.....I am so stealing that!!


I also just got asked if someone could 'rent' me for two hours.

I guess that's a little more fair enough but for a moment I felt like a Blockbuster DVD  ;D

I prefer 'book' but there you go :P


Blockbusters has closed down as far as I know they went bust a few weeks ago ( well my local store did)


I thought they went out of business ages ago! Used to love going in there as a kid :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 18 December 2013, 06:18:08 pm
"hi hannah i live by bangor n wales so its a bit of a hike lol id love too drive and c you tomorrow but i couldent do ?100 im so sry xx"

Ermm..what was the point of even messaging me?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 18 December 2013, 11:55:12 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 18 December 2013, 06:18:08 pm
"hi hannah i live by bangor n wales so its a bit of a hike lol id love too drive and c you tomorrow but i couldent do ?100 im so sry xx"

Ermm..what was the point of even messaging me?!

This is so confusing and stupid lol. I think he just wanted to say hi....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 19 December 2013, 01:49:36 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 18 December 2013, 06:18:08 pm
"hi hannah i live by bangor n wales so its a bit of a hike lol id love too drive and c you tomorrow but i couldent do ?100 im so sry xx"

Ermm..what was the point of even messaging me?!

Its obviously his way of saying that he could make it to your location if you offered him a discount  ::)

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 19 December 2013, 02:13:03 pm
Me: Hello

Him: Hello is this ***** babe?

Me: Yes

Him: I seen your profile baby on the internet baby.

Phone down, anyone else get creeped out when someone keeps calling you baby?  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 19 December 2013, 02:28:34 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 19 December 2013, 02:13:03 pm
Me: Hello

Him: Hello is this ***** babe?

Me: Yes

Him: I seen your profile baby on the internet baby.

Phone down, anyone else get creeped out when someone keeps calling you baby?  :-X

Yes, but he would have failed to pass my text screening process by writing 'I seen your' lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 19 December 2013, 02:34:14 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 19 December 2013, 02:13:03 pm
Me: Hello

Him: Hello is this ***** babe?

Me: Yes

Him: I seen your profile baby on the internet baby.

Phone down, anyone else get creeped out when someone keeps calling you baby?  :-X


I don't care really what people address me as, as long as they are respectful and polite. Although baby rather than babe is a little much maybe.

Had a guy address me literally as bitch on the phone but in a very casual manner not in an angry tone, like it was my name or something, my brain didn't register it for a moment as I couldn't believe what I was hearing, I was like hold on exCUUUUSE me say that again?!?!  :o  :o

Rather than turning down people because of it just state on your profile that you like to be addressed as -insert name here- rather than babe ect. I would be really upfront about it :D some guys are just wanting to break the ice I think, and they don't really need to. Although you could have it bold and with fairy dust around it and guys still wouldn't listen  :FF



Just had a guy ask when I 'close' and if my pictures are real.

I said 'my legs are open all night! The pictures are of some totally random chick off the internet, I just pick up the phone for the fun of it silly pants!!'

Or something like that. He chuckled :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 19 December 2013, 05:25:14 pm
Quote from: ClaireJayne on 19 December 2013, 02:28:34 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 19 December 2013, 02:13:03 pm
Me: Hello

Him: Hello is this ***** babe?

Me: Yes

Him: I seen your profile baby on the internet baby.

Phone down, anyone else get creeped out when someone keeps calling you baby?  :-X

Yes, but he would have failed to pass my text screening process by writing 'I seen your' lol

It wasn't a text, it was a phone call. I don't respond to texts x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 19 December 2013, 05:27:13 pm
Quote from: curvy_girl on 19 December 2013, 02:34:14 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 19 December 2013, 02:13:03 pm
Me: Hello

Him: Hello is this ***** babe?

Me: Yes

Him: I seen your profile baby on the internet baby.

Phone down, anyone else get creeped out when someone keeps calling you baby?  :-X


I don't care really what people address me as, as long as they are respectful and polite. Although baby rather than babe is a little much maybe.

Had a guy address me literally as bitch on the phone but in a very casual manner not in an angry tone, like it was my name or something, my brain didn't register it for a moment as I couldn't believe what I was hearing, I was like hold on exCUUUUSE me say that again?!?!  :o  :o

Rather than turning down people because of it just state on your profile that you like to be addressed as -insert name here- rather than babe ect. I would be really upfront about it :D some guys are just wanting to break the ice I think, and they don't really need to. Although you could have it bold and with fairy dust around it and guys still wouldn't listen  :FF



Just had a guy ask when I 'close' and if my pictures are real.

I said 'my legs are open all night! The pictures are of some totally random chick off the internet, I just pick up the phone for the fun of it silly pants!!'

Or something like that. He chuckled :P

I don't mind people addressing me as babe, hunni or whatever so long as it isn't rude or crude but I am creeped out by a random stranger calling me baby. He managed to call me baby TWICE in a 9 word sentence.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 19 December 2013, 05:36:01 pm
I would only accept it in song form:-

'Hey baby you so fine you so fine you blow my mind, hey curvy girl! hey curvy girl!'

I would high five him if I got a call with a guy singing that to me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 19 December 2013, 07:31:54 pm
Sorry misread  :P either way though he would have lost me at 'I seen your profile' lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 21 December 2013, 09:35:34 am
08.54 this morning..................

Me: Hello

Him: You about just now?

Me: What do you mean?

Him: I'm in Maryhill, looking for a 2 girl

 :FF  :FF  :FF  :FF

So wait a minute at 08.54am you expect me to be up and looking like I am going on a nite out like my pictures, sitting waiting all ready in my clothes and ready to go to Maryhill on an outcall and just so happen to have another girl organised ready for a 3sum at this time aswell.

Not only do I NOT do 2 girls but if I did, am I suppose to be able to organise one at this time with zero notice? I don't start till 11am and I DONT do outcalls, if I did it would be to a city centre hotel NOT a house or flat not to mention at this time of the morning he is obviously still ON IT from last nite.

Seriously how delusional and  stupid can one be? Some of them must think we sit in a room in a dodgy flat somewhere in our underwear 24/7 just waiting on the phone ringing. Its probably the one thing that irritates me more than anything in this job.

I am starting to think there are plenty women sitting 24/7 in underwear just waiting on the phone ringing as there is soooooooooooooooo many people who phone and expect an appointment without any notice of any sort.



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LithyBony on 21 December 2013, 10:55:55 am
Quote from: ParisB on 17 December 2013, 12:21:23 am
Quote from: curvy_girl on 16 December 2013, 11:54:42 am
Quote from: Miss_cinders on 15 December 2013, 09:06:29 pm
Quote from: curvy_girl on 15 December 2013, 02:45:39 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 15 December 2013, 11:51:15 am
You open moron raises his ugly head again at 03.59 this time saying.........

You open

 :FF  :FF

How about you fuck off with your stupid texts at stupid times ya dick  ;D

Taking me all my strength not to text him back saying that but he would obviously react in defence and I cant be bothered with text ping pong abuse on a Sunday morning.

I would say:-

What the hell do you mean by 'you open?' I am a person, not a shop you moron!



Love it....not a shop.....I am so stealing that!!


I also just got asked if someone could 'rent' me for two hours.

I guess that's a little more fair enough but for a moment I felt like a Blockbuster DVD  ;D

I prefer 'book' but there you go :P


Blockbusters has closed down as far as I know they went bust a few weeks ago ( well my local store did)

I thought they closed down years ago.
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 15 December 2013, 11:51:15 am
You open moron raises his ugly head again at 03.59 this time saying.........

You open

 :FF  :FF

How about you fuck off with your stupid texts at stupid times ya dick  ;D

Taking me all my strength not to text him back saying that but he would obviously react in defence and I cant be bothered with text ping pong abuse on a Sunday morning.

* Sorry 4 txt ,phone on charge,are u 24hrs!again sorry 4 txt *

I wrote it just how he did, sounds like the same guy lol

I replied with a response I copped from here - I am not a shop


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 21 December 2013, 02:05:16 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 21 December 2013, 09:35:34 am
08.54 this morning..................

Me: Hello

Him: You about just now?

Me: What do you mean?

Him: I'm in Maryhill, looking for a 2 girl

 :FF  :FF  :FF  :FF

So wait a minute at 08.54am you expect me to be up and looking like I am going on a nite out like my pictures, sitting waiting all ready in my clothes and ready to go to Maryhill on an outcall and just so happen to have another girl organised ready for a 3sum at this time aswell.

Not only do I NOT do 2 girls but if I did, am I suppose to be able to organise one at this time with zero notice? I don't start till 11am and I DONT do outcalls, if I did it would be to a city centre hotel NOT a house or flat not to mention at this time of the morning he is obviously still ON IT from last nite.

Seriously how delusional and  stupid can one be? Some of them must think we sit in a room in a dodgy flat somewhere in our underwear 24/7 just waiting on the phone ringing. Its probably the one thing that irritates me more than anything in this job.

I am starting to think there are plenty women sitting 24/7 in underwear just waiting on the phone ringing as there is soooooooooooooooo many people who phone and expect an appointment without any notice of any sort.

Kinda probably slightly my fault. I am and advertise myself as 24/7 as sometimes I don't get many day time bookings so I think what the hell, I may as well be out there at night (as long as they provide a cab there and back after midnight so an extra ?60 is popped on the bill, might encourage more people to ring for a day time appointment!) But If for some reason I get day bookings I don't do late nights as a girl has to sleep.

If I have night time bookings or very little day time bookings I have a snooze during the day and see guys at night.

I just make sure if I really don't want a call after 12 I put my phone on silent. If I have prepared for night appointments the phone is on the hair is done and the pussy is shaved! (like a trooper you could say) But I know for a fact its so annoying when you get a phone call late at night. Usually happens when I forget to turn my phone on silent after a 'day shift' so to speak. But hey I advertise 24/7 so I personally can't complain!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 21 December 2013, 03:13:16 pm
Recieved this brilliant text at 02:32 this morning.

"Huya. I guess sib want you tonight"

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 21 December 2013, 11:44:05 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 19 December 2013, 01:49:36 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 18 December 2013, 06:18:08 pm
"hi hannah i live by bangor n wales so its a bit of a hike lol id love too drive and c you tomorrow but i couldent do ?100 im so sry xx"

Ermm..what was the point of even messaging me?!

Its obviously his way of saying that he could make it to your location if you offered him a discount  ::)

xx

I immediately thought that too...but his location is a two hour drive from me, surely it would make more sense to look for a local girl if he is so broke  ???

Great messages on AW the last few days:

1-want to book you for Saturday or sunday
2-Hi are you available tonight?

~Stated all over my profile NOT available on weekends..is it so frikken difficult to read a few sentences?!

And also:

3-U good? Drop dead gorgeous U R"

Given I have only two pictures, no face and also clothed on AW...I have to wonder where exactly he was looking o.O
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 22 December 2013, 01:30:13 am
Quote from: curvy_girl on 21 December 2013, 02:05:16 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 21 December 2013, 09:35:34 am
08.54 this morning..................

Me: Hello

Him: You about just now?

Me: What do you mean?

Him: I'm in Maryhill, looking for a 2 girl

 :FF  :FF  :FF  :FF

So wait a minute at 08.54am you expect me to be up and looking like I am going on a nite out like my pictures, sitting waiting all ready in my clothes and ready to go to Maryhill on an outcall and just so happen to have another girl organised ready for a 3sum at this time aswell.

Not only do I NOT do 2 girls but if I did, am I suppose to be able to organise one at this time with zero notice? I don't start till 11am and I DONT do outcalls, if I did it would be to a city centre hotel NOT a house or flat not to mention at this time of the morning he is obviously still ON IT from last nite.

Seriously how delusional and  stupid can one be? Some of them must think we sit in a room in a dodgy flat somewhere in our underwear 24/7 just waiting on the phone ringing. Its probably the one thing that irritates me more than anything in this job.

I am starting to think there are plenty women sitting 24/7 in underwear just waiting on the phone ringing as there is soooooooooooooooo many people who phone and expect an appointment without any notice of any sort.

Kinda probably slightly my fault. I am and advertise myself as 24/7 as sometimes I don't get many day time bookings so I think what the hell, I may as well be out there at night (as long as they provide a cab there and back after midnight so an extra ?60 is popped on the bill, might encourage more people to ring for a day time appointment!) But If for some reason I get day bookings I don't do late nights as a girl has to sleep.

If I have night time bookings or very little day time bookings I have a snooze during the day and see guys at night.

I just make sure if I really don't want a call after 12 I put my phone on silent. If I have prepared for night appointments the phone is on the hair is done and the pussy is shaved! (like a trooper you could say) But I know for a fact its so annoying when you get a phone call late at night. Usually happens when I forget to turn my phone on silent after a 'day shift' so to speak. But hey I advertise 24/7 so I personally can't complain!

Well I have my working hours pretty clear, they even have their own tab.

I don't know how you can live like that? I need routine so I go to bed each nite at a normal time, get 8 hours sleep then get up early in the morning so I am ready for a full day of work. If I had broken sleep, I wouldn't be able to function properly nevermind offer a good service to my clients and I don't know how you can be bothered with late nite or during the nite clients? 99% are either drunk or coked out their faces. No amount of money would make me want to service someone like that.

I suppose each to their own. I bet you would get more bookings during the day if you got yourself into a routine and got up early in the day and got yourself ready so you don't miss bookings when your napping or feeling sleepy during the day cause you've been up through the nite.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 22 December 2013, 10:26:23 am
It has worked for me, I have always had a funny sleep pattern. Its usually try and get it pre-booked If someone wants me at 1pm I will go and see them. I hardly get any bookings for the morning and its nothing to do with nothing! I just don't get the calls. Its always evening bookings I get. I hate mornings and I LOVE my sleep so screw it :P I am happier doing my afternoon evening and night and late night appointments. But thats just me :) I still earn money and I always give 100%. Its been tough going for a few months so I think I will be doing things the way I want to do them from now on! As someone else was saying, there is no right or wrong way of doing it. besides its all outcalls at the moment, when I start offering incalls I will be sleeping on my friday nights and waking up early on the saturday for the day of bookings (I will be doing one day a week in a hotel)

Had this corker today:-

'I know you hate texts but can you see me please?'

Sent via text.

Words escape me.....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 22 December 2013, 12:06:49 pm
Quote from: curvy_girl on 22 December 2013, 10:26:23 am
It has worked for me, I have always had a funny sleep pattern. Its usually try and get it pre-booked If someone wants me at 1pm I will go and see them. I hardly get any bookings for the morning and its nothing to do with nothing! I just don't get the calls. Its always evening bookings I get. I hate mornings and I LOVE my sleep so screw it :P I am happier doing my afternoon evening and night and late night appointments. But thats just me :) I still earn money and I always give 100%. Its been tough going for a few months so I think I will be doing things the way I want to do them from now on! As someone else was saying, there is no right or wrong way of doing it. besides its all outcalls at the moment, when I start offering incalls I will be sleeping on my friday nights and waking up early on the saturday for the day of bookings (I will be doing one day a week in a hotel)

Had this corker today:-

'I know you hate texts but can you see me please?'

Sent via text.

Words escape me.....

I wasn't saying your way was wrong. I know there is no right or wrong way and you can only do what suits you.

I was was just saying that I couldn't do it your way as I need routine in my life to be able to function properly.
xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 22 December 2013, 12:10:36 pm
Just had a wee ned/chav phone up loud but in slow motion sounding like he has a serious head cold or a blocked up nose from whatever shit he's been putting up it all weekend............

Awwwwrite heeeeen, wiiiiitz haaaappenin?

I wrote it the way it sounded.

Phone goes down of course  ::)



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 22 December 2013, 12:15:08 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 22 December 2013, 12:06:49 pm
Quote from: curvy_girl on 22 December 2013, 10:26:23 am
It has worked for me, I have always had a funny sleep pattern. Its usually try and get it pre-booked If someone wants me at 1pm I will go and see them. I hardly get any bookings for the morning and its nothing to do with nothing! I just don't get the calls. Its always evening bookings I get. I hate mornings and I LOVE my sleep so screw it :P I am happier doing my afternoon evening and night and late night appointments. But thats just me :) I still earn money and I always give 100%. Its been tough going for a few months so I think I will be doing things the way I want to do them from now on! As someone else was saying, there is no right or wrong way of doing it. besides its all outcalls at the moment, when I start offering incalls I will be sleeping on my friday nights and waking up early on the saturday for the day of bookings (I will be doing one day a week in a hotel)

Had this corker today:-

'I know you hate texts but can you see me please?'

Sent via text.

Words escape me.....

I wasn't saying your way was wrong. I know there is no right or wrong way and you can only do what suits you.

I was was just saying that I couldn't do it your way as I need routine in my life to be able to function properly.
xx


Oh I know, its o.k. To be honest I was questioning my own work method but when I realized I had paid my rent and was able to feed myself I realized It didn't matter how I worked as long as I worked gave my best got my good reviews and plan to do more in the future its alright. I have taken the pressure off my own back now.

I think something has gone wrong I am getting more nice gents ring me up and book me today!

Quote from: Pink~Princess on 22 December 2013, 12:10:36 pm
Just had a wee ned/chav phone up loud but in slow motion sounding like he has a serious head cold or a blocked up nose from whatever shit he's been putting up it all weekend............

Awwwwrite heeeeen, wiiiiitz haaaappenin?

I wrote it the way it sounded.

Phone goes down of course  ::)





Lol. I heard that in my head as you wrote it and laughed :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 22 December 2013, 12:21:05 pm
Quote from: curvy_girl on 22 December 2013, 12:15:08 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 22 December 2013, 12:06:49 pm
Quote from: curvy_girl on 22 December 2013, 10:26:23 am
It has worked for me, I have always had a funny sleep pattern. Its usually try and get it pre-booked If someone wants me at 1pm I will go and see them. I hardly get any bookings for the morning and its nothing to do with nothing! I just don't get the calls. Its always evening bookings I get. I hate mornings and I LOVE my sleep so screw it :P I am happier doing my afternoon evening and night and late night appointments. But thats just me :) I still earn money and I always give 100%. Its been tough going for a few months so I think I will be doing things the way I want to do them from now on! As someone else was saying, there is no right or wrong way of doing it. besides its all outcalls at the moment, when I start offering incalls I will be sleeping on my friday nights and waking up early on the saturday for the day of bookings (I will be doing one day a week in a hotel)

Had this corker today:-

'I know you hate texts but can you see me please?'

Sent via text.

Words escape me.....

I wasn't saying your way was wrong. I know there is no right or wrong way and you can only do what suits you.

I was was just saying that I couldn't do it your way as I need routine in my life to be able to function properly.
xx


Oh I know, its o.k. To be honest I was questioning my own work method but when I realized I had paid my rent and was able to feed myself I realized It didn't matter how I worked as long as I worked gave my best got my good reviews and plan to do more in the future its alright. I have taken the pressure off my own back now.

I think something has gone wrong I am getting more nice gents ring me up and book me today!


Yeah and I suppose sometimes I forget that we all have different reasons for escorting too. I do this job not only to pay my bills but to save my money so I can get out of the business so I need to have routine xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 22 December 2013, 01:22:34 pm
Quote from: curvy_girl on 22 December 2013, 10:26:23 am
It has worked for me, I have always had a funny sleep pattern. Its usually try and get it pre-booked If someone wants me at 1pm I will go and see them. I hardly get any bookings for the morning and its nothing to do with nothing! I just don't get the calls. Its always evening bookings I get. I hate mornings and I LOVE my sleep so screw it :P I am happier doing my afternoon evening and night and late night appointments. But thats just me :) I still earn money and I always give 100%. Its been tough going for a few months so I think I will be doing things the way I want to do them from now on! As someone else was saying, there is no right or wrong way of doing it. besides its all outcalls at the moment, when I start offering incalls I will be sleeping on my friday nights and waking up early on the saturday for the day of bookings (I will be doing one day a week in a hotel)

Had this corker today:-

'I know you hate texts but can you see me please?'

Sent via text.

Words escape me.....

I think some people are just self-defeating or they think "she'll bend".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LithyBony on 22 December 2013, 02:11:07 pm
The funniest / weirdest ones are those who can only text and not phone because they have not got any credit but apparently they can still afford to buy pussy
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 22 December 2013, 05:16:54 pm
Quote from: LithyBony on 22 December 2013, 02:11:07 pm
The funniest / weirdest ones are those who can only text and not phone because they have not got any credit but apparently they can still afford to buy pussy

Or the ones who say they can't call because they're driving.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LithyBony on 22 December 2013, 05:37:18 pm
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 22 December 2013, 05:16:54 pm
Quote from: LithyBony on 22 December 2013, 02:11:07 pm
The funniest / weirdest ones are those who can only text and not phone because they have not got any credit but apparently they can still afford to buy pussy

Or the ones who say they can't call because they're driving.

Oh yes! I actually have someone in my phone called "Just driving" because that is always his excuse
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 22 December 2013, 06:22:59 pm
Quote from: LithyBony on 22 December 2013, 05:37:18 pm
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 22 December 2013, 05:16:54 pm
Quote from: LithyBony on 22 December 2013, 02:11:07 pm
The funniest / weirdest ones are those who can only text and not phone because they have not got any credit but apparently they can still afford to buy pussy

Or the ones who say they can't call because they're driving.

Oh yes! I actually have someone in my phone called "Just driving" because that is always his excuse

Bit dangerous and slightly illegal.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JuicyLucy on 22 December 2013, 11:14:41 pm
Oh yeah! The just driving ones seriously annoy me. Surely its harder to text and drive than call and drive. They always refuse a confirmation call and use that lame excuse when all us working girls know it's just an idiot that has no call time or a time waster!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 23 December 2013, 12:53:26 am
Guy text me today, I only responded as I thought we'd met already since he sent me a text last nite asking how my nite was but I ignored it last nite cause I just couldn't think who it could have been then today I get 2 texts about a booking IN CAPITAL LETTERS so I text back asking if we know each other to which he said NO so I just said well I don't know how much clearer I can be about not taking bookings through a text and the fact that I ignore text messages to which he texts back saying he is too busy to call followed by a further 4 or so texts. All in sends loads of texts but doesn't have 1 minute to phone me  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 23 December 2013, 07:24:16 am
I don't mind texts although I'll want to speak before I'll send them my address.

I got texts from someone who sounded like a dyslexic Ali G. He turned out to be a perfect gentleman with a good job! So I am not that fussy about text speak.

However, last night I got one starting "you at it huh x"

Later, he called me "Hub." And tried to negotiate half price. So, I wasn't surprised because he didn't start out too well.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 23 December 2013, 07:57:46 am
Speaking to the person and hearing their voice aswell as manner is an essential part of my vetting process so there's no point in me saying I am available or taking a booking through a text when I really need to speak to them.

If someone sends me a polite text saying they are in the office or something so cant speak at the moment but will ring to confirm if I am available at such and such a time then of course I will reply but I would still say that I need to speak to them before I can offer them an appointment.

Obviously I don't mind texts from clients I know.

But if someone (a complete stranger) expects me to invite them into my house to engage in that sort of service aswell as giving out my address then asking them to actually phone and speak to me shouldn't be too much to ask  :D

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss_cinders on 23 December 2013, 12:14:05 pm
"I note you charge ?80 for 30 mins, I am only willing to pay ?60"

BLOCK!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 23 December 2013, 03:43:34 pm
I'm having a bad day  :( after my travel issues and my delightful note from AW:

Some asshole telling me I had an attitude problem when I politely asked him to phone rather than the enless ping pong emails he was sending (he had TW notes).

 :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 23 December 2013, 05:25:52 pm
It gets better I've had so many idiots and TWs phoning I began to get paranoid that TW numero uno was getting all his mates to ring up and piss me off.

One phoned made an appt, then texted to haggled, I cancelled the appt.  He later texted to apologise could he still see me.....I said ok, then he started ping pong texting so no doubt he won't confirm/show.  AND HE JUST TEXTED TO CANCEL I KNEW IT!!!!

One phoned asking too many questions, eventually I called time on it and informed him he was wasting my time - his charming response 'Piss off' and a rant to which I responded with 'no need to swear' and hung up mid-rant.

One missed call to which I responded with a text regarding availability - his response 'No thanks, too fat'' - so I said he must be confused if he thinks size 8-10 is fat and his pointless rejoinder 'Don't kid yourself Miss Sussex'   Too boring to respond to.

Jesus haven't had so many delights in so short a space of time in a long time!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 28 December 2013, 05:36:59 pm
Idiot:-overnight price?
me:-500
idiot:- we are not going to be shagging all night lets make it 300


He also lived in Basildon and I operate in London.....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 28 December 2013, 06:51:35 pm
Quote from: curvy_girl on 28 December 2013, 05:36:59 pm
Idiot:-overnight price?
me:-500
idiot:- we are not going to be shagging all night lets make it 300


He also lived in Basildon and I operate in London.....

What a w*anker!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 28 December 2013, 07:34:11 pm
I currently have a 20% off on prices for December, just received this lovely message:

"Hi Hannah, seeing as you've reduced your rates over Christmas would you do 30 minutes for ?40?"

Sure. They're already reduced, I'll reduce them even more just for you.. :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Camomile on 28 December 2013, 08:47:04 pm
Today I got this gem. Wrong on so many levels! Rude, insulting, patronising, haggling and assumptive lol! I don't tour his area as I dislike the clients there not because my phone didn't ring. I hate it when they try to give me business advice!



"Hope your little trip overseas is treating you well. I am sure you are looking forward to being back in the sunny money laden land of Australia!

I'd like to arrange a session with you for late January. I am actually based in Adelaide not Perth and read previously that you had no plans to tour here again. Sad to hear that you weren't what the men of this wonderful city so desired. Perhaps understandably as you maybe out priced yourself in a competitive market. Not to worry though because you certainly tickled my taste buds.

I'd like to propose flying you over for a 14 hour over night session. I am happy to pay travel costs within reason and part of your overnight fee. Sadly I am unable to provide the full fee as it is somewhat excessive for someone like yourself however I am sure I can make that up to you.

I will be able to provide most comfortable accommodation here in my home which you can work in if you so desire. I also am happy to provide all food and drinks for the session. And I will also, on the basis that we enjoy our time together, write you a review that will be brilliant promotion for your newly started business. I am friends with many other WL's and understand that things are getting harder for you. So as someone who is not what the majority of Australians consider attractive it must me effecting you. I believe a well written review and maybe an adjustment to your fees would see business booming.

I shall let you have a think and reply at your earliest convenience. My preferred date would be the 18th or 19th but I am open to suggestions.

Until then.



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 28 December 2013, 08:51:03 pm
Quote from: Ambs on 28 December 2013, 08:47:04 pm
Today I got this gem. Wrong on so many levels! Rude, insulting, patronising, haggling and assumptive lol! I don't tour his area as I dislike the clients there not because my phone didn't ring. I hate it when they try to give me business advice!



"Hope your little trip overseas is treating you well. I am sure you are looking forward to being back in the sunny money laden land of Australia!

I'd like to arrange a session with you for late January. I am actually based in Adelaide not Perth and read previously that you had no plans to tour here again. Sad to hear that you weren't what the men of this wonderful city so desired. Perhaps understandably as you maybe out priced yourself in a competitive market. Not to worry though because you certainly tickled my taste buds.

I'd like to propose flying you over for a 14 hour over night session. I am happy to pay travel costs within reason and part of your overnight fee. Sadly I am unable to provide the full fee as it is somewhat excessive for someone like yourself however I am sure I can make that up to you.

I will be able to provide most comfortable accommodation here in my home which you can work in if you so desire. I also am happy to provide all food and drinks for the session. And I will also, on the basis that we enjoy our time together, write you a review that will be brilliant promotion for your newly started business. I am friends with many other WL's and understand that things are getting harder for you. So as someone who is not what the majority of Australians consider attractive it must me effecting you. I believe a well written review and maybe an adjustment to your fees would see business booming.

I shall let you have a think and reply at your earliest convenience. My preferred date would be the 18th or 19th but I am open to suggestions.

Until then.

I've got a suggestion for him. More than one, in fact ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LithyBony on 28 December 2013, 08:55:01 pm
Quote from: Ambs on 28 December 2013, 08:47:04 pm
Today I got this gem. Wrong on so many levels! Rude, insulting, patronising, haggling and assumptive lol! I don't tour his area as I dislike the clients there not because my phone didn't ring. I hate it when they try to give me business advice!



"Hope your little trip overseas is treating you well. I am sure you are looking forward to being back in the sunny money laden land of Australia!

I'd like to arrange a session with you for late January. I am actually based in Adelaide not Perth and read previously that you had no plans to tour here again. Sad to hear that you weren't what the men of this wonderful city so desired. Perhaps understandably as you maybe out priced yourself in a competitive market. Not to worry though because you certainly tickled my taste buds.

I'd like to propose flying you over for a 14 hour over night session. I am happy to pay travel costs within reason and part of your overnight fee. Sadly I am unable to provide the full fee as it is somewhat excessive for someone like yourself however I am sure I can make that up to you.

I will be able to provide most comfortable accommodation here in my home which you can work in if you so desire. I also am happy to provide all food and drinks for the session. And I will also, on the basis that we enjoy our time together, write you a review that will be brilliant promotion for your newly started business. I am friends with many other WL's and understand that things are getting harder for you. So as someone who is not what the majority of Australians consider attractive it must me effecting you. I believe a well written review and maybe an adjustment to your fees would see business booming.

I shall let you have a think and reply at your earliest convenience. My preferred date would be the 18th or 19th but I am open to suggestions.

Until then.





First class c**t
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 28 December 2013, 09:01:37 pm
Awful, but something tells me he did it on purpose to provoke you, hoping to get some abuse in response, and have a wank over it...

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 28 December 2013, 09:07:49 pm
Well, in Australia we do refer to Adelaide as the biggest hole above ground and other than that, South Australia is really only known for the bodies in the barrels serial killings so not sure what he is propping his arrogance up with......

He is what the majority of Australians would call a wanker  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Camomile on 28 December 2013, 11:11:38 pm
Quote from: amy on 28 December 2013, 08:51:03 pm
Quote from: Ambs on 28 December 2013, 08:47:04 pm
Today I got this gem. Wrong on so many levels! Rude, insulting, patronising, haggling and assumptive lol! I don't tour his area as I dislike the clients there not because my phone didn't ring. I hate it when they try to give me business ad
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 29 December 2013, 10:58:55 am
Grade A Cu*t but I agree with another poster, he has clearly written that in the hope he will get an arsey, provoked response which will just become a battle between the two of you. Don't rise to it. Just ignore and block.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 29 December 2013, 11:00:18 am
Got a text saying..............

Fancy getting high and having lots of sex?

This is the creep that keeps asking me what he can get for ?30 then gave me a load of abuse when I told him he can fuck himself with his ?30

 ::)  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saturnspirit on 29 December 2013, 01:18:58 pm
Just got a text asking for outcall booking at 1pm.

He just gave me an area and pub name and said i could get a taxi. I told him to ring me at 12 to confirm details and have his full address details.

No phone call. Then get texts. You are supposed to meeting me at 1pm. I replied well how am i supposed to do an outcall when i don't have an address!

He texts back i told you to get a taxi to such and such pub then we can go back to mine.

Does this idiot think i'm going to get a taxi to a pub and then meet him there, then go back to his house, which i don't have an address for?

Sounds like a windup call
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 29 December 2013, 06:59:06 pm
Lets hope its a windup call and not a genuine one as some escort somewhere without much sense WILL agree to it and could potentially put themselves in a really bad situation.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 29 December 2013, 09:14:57 pm
I was sent an email asking me to meet someone outcall in a park behind a bar, instructions were to ask the bar man, he'd point me in the right direction.

Another time a bloke sent me some photos and told me he'd be in such and such pub in a small 'local' town if I'd like to go and eyeball him for a future outcall, for which he'd offer me a fee that was a fraction of my usual rate and would only just about cover my transport costs.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 30 December 2013, 12:14:53 am
Just had a guy on cam requesting I go to *certain Fire Station near-ish to my home* because he has a "mobile home parked out back". I politely declined, saying that I'm not taking bookings today, and he said "I give u ?300 for 2 hours tho bb"...to which I pointed out that was my standard 2 hour outcall rate and I STILL wasn't taking bookings today, and blocked him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 30 December 2013, 10:37:22 am
During the past 5/6 weeks I've had more than my usual share of timewasting/spammy emails/texts; heres just one I received yesterday:

I am visiting from the British Virgin Island staying at a relative's in ******* where a phone call could be awkward.  However I have seen your website which I find exciting, and have time tomorrow (monday) for two hours between 1.30 and 3.30 if you do.  I am a youngish 65, and professional Chartered Accountant still working and living in the BVI.  My mobile phone is  +******* - and will receive texts. Calls to that number could be extremely awkward if not disasterous !  Responses to this email address are secure.  Early advice would be much appreciated especially if not convenient.

Since he didn't use my name I'm assuming this was spam, and the fact he couldn't possibly make a phone call marks him out as a big fat timewaster!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 30 December 2013, 10:40:46 am
And this rather bizarre one (never heard from the guy before this email!)

my excuse for being away for the afternoon was flyfishing at *******.  While I can usually fish in bad weather this wind this is more than usual, and my reason for being gone is problematic.  If there is some abatement I will call and see if we can come to a mutual arrangement.  I do understand you may have other calls on your time. Dissapointing though !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 30 December 2013, 11:05:48 am
Good lord it turns out both those emails are from the same person, but as they were sent from 2 different email addresses and one had a name and the other didn't I naturally assumed they were from 2 different people.

Whats more I sent rather stern replies to both of them and he just phoned up to book! Lets just see if he confirms/shows eh....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Txox on 30 December 2013, 02:41:29 pm
Grrr!

Last night about 1am I got a phone call for an outcall booking, fairly local so I agreed. He didn't have an AW profile for personal reasons, but gave me full name, address and landline number which checked out. I was just about ready to leave and he text saying "Just checked funds online and I only have ?100.. hope this is ok?"

ERR NO?

This drives me absolutely crazy. Do they think that because we have already left the house we'll think "oh well, it's late and better than nothing!"


IDIOTS.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 30 December 2013, 04:00:46 pm
Quote from: naughtyT on 30 December 2013, 02:41:29 pm
Grrr!

Last night about 1am I got a phone call for an outcall booking, fairly local so I agreed. He didn't have an AW profile for personal reasons, but gave me full name, address and landline number which checked out. I was just about ready to leave and he text saying "Just checked funds online and I only have ?100.. hope this is ok?"

ERR NO?

This drives me absolutely crazy. Do they think that because we have already left the house we'll think "oh well, it's late and better than nothing!"


IDIOTS.

I agree with you NaughtyT, I wouldn't entertain that either even if I was standing in their house out of sheer disrespect. They know my rates and should have that organised before even picking up the phone.

Problem is there are LOADS of girls happy and willing to accept their offer as like you said its better than nothing so guys like this probably just try this stunt on many girls until they find someone who will accept it.

I just think if they don't like my rates or services then they can carry on looking for someone else more suitable. If they ignore all the information on my profile and assume they can get me to do what they want, they are wrong.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 30 December 2013, 04:10:49 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 30 December 2013, 04:00:46 pm
Quote from: naughtyT on 30 December 2013, 02:41:29 pm
Grrr!

Last night about 1am I got a phone call for an outcall booking, fairly local so I agreed. He didn't have an AW profile for personal reasons, but gave me full name, address and landline number which checked out. I was just about ready to leave and he text saying "Just checked funds online and I only have ?100.. hope this is ok?"

ERR NO?

This drives me absolutely crazy. Do they think that because we have already left the house we'll think "oh well, it's late and better than nothing!"


IDIOTS.

I agree with you NaughtyT, I wouldn't entertain that either even if I was standing in their house out of sheer disrespect. They know my rates and should have that organised before even picking up the phone.

Problem is there are LOADS of girls happy and willing to accept their offer as like you said its better than nothing so guys like this probably just try this stunt on many girls until they find someone who will accept it.

I just think if they don't like my rates or services then they can carry on looking for someone else more suitable. If they ignore all the information on my profile and assume they can get me to do what they want, they are wrong.

xx

Always makes me feel a bit funny when someone says they don't have an account or hide their feedback, 'for personal/privacy' reasons. I don't ask for an AW booking, my screening isn't based around it but no matter whether it's true or not it just makes me feel wierd when someone says this.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 30 December 2013, 06:09:16 pm
I had been talking to this guy for a booking and we were going to meet today in a hotel near me for four hours. He cancelled last min and said he was not well. We planned to meet for this Thursday same place time ect. so we agree with everything and I say yes everything is ok. these were the emails that followed:-

Him:- Cheers hun. You def english? X
Me:-Of course, you can ring me up and we can have a chat if you like [phone number here] Lou x
Him:-Always nice to have a english chick tbh. Any plans tonight? X

(at this point I knew he was trying to make unnecessary small talk and irritated me but meh I replied)

Me:-Just going to chill, hope you feel better soon. Look forward to seeing you thursday, Lou x

Him:-You got a fella babe? Kev x

(here we go)

Me:-www.oasis.com, www.POF.com, www.smooch.com, Have a look there for a girlfriend. I am looking for business not a boyfriend!

(and then this corker)

Him:- Ha I hear ya. Business will be brought on Thursday babe. I like the look of ya. I don't care about paying to fuck you x


A keeper ladies? I feel a time waster and a shit experience a stalker and a general idiot coming my way... But I don't know, sounds innocent enough but not exactly a gentleman :P

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Txox on 30 December 2013, 10:29:37 pm
Quote from: curvy_girl on 30 December 2013, 06:09:16 pm

Him:-You got a fella babe? Kev x

(here we go)

Me:-www.oasis.com, www.POF.com, www.smooch.com, Have a look there for a girlfriend. I am looking for business not a boyfriend!

(and then this corker)

Him:- Ha I hear ya. Business will be brought on Thursday babe. I like the look of ya. I don't care about paying to fuck you x


A keeper ladies? I feel a time waster and a shit experience a stalker and a general idiot coming my way... But I don't know, sounds innocent enough but not exactly a gentleman :P

hahahah! Just almost spit my wine out laughing there lol, like your style  ;D

Possibly a timewaster? I have a regular who likes his pointless texting, he never stops despite me telling him how much it annoys me... but in saying that he has been a client for over 2 years!

I'm not a fantasist and guys like that who are genuine aren't ten a penny. Don't pin all your hopes on seeing him thursday, if he does - great! If he cancels again just block his number ;)

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 30 December 2013, 10:47:01 pm
Quote from: naughtyT on 30 December 2013, 10:29:37 pm
Quote from: curvy_girl on 30 December 2013, 06:09:16 pm

Him:-You got a fella babe? Kev x

(here we go)

Me:-www.oasis.com, www.POF.com, www.smooch.com, Have a look there for a girlfriend. I am looking for business not a boyfriend!

(and then this corker)

Him:- Ha I hear ya. Business will be brought on Thursday babe. I like the look of ya. I don't care about paying to fuck you x


A keeper ladies? I feel a time waster and a shit experience a stalker and a general idiot coming my way... But I don't know, sounds innocent enough but not exactly a gentleman :P

hahahah! Just almost spit my wine out laughing there lol, like your style  ;D

Possibly a timewaster? I have a regular who likes his pointless texting, he never stops despite me telling him how much it annoys me... but in saying that he has been a client for over 2 years!

I'm not a fantasist and guys like that who are genuine aren't ten a penny. Don't pin all your hopes on seeing him thursday, if he does - great! If he cancels again just block his number ;)

xx

Yea, I don't mind it but if I feel like I am getting chatted up I would rather not engage! I chat during the booking with a client between business and till they are ready to go again and I enjoy that but before the booking or after the booking I am not happy to discuss such things, even during really! Its a tad creepy... I also prefer women to men nowadays anyway in my dating life. I should start saying in my personal life I am a lesbian! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 30 December 2013, 11:23:17 pm
Quote from: curvy_girl on 30 December 2013, 10:47:01 pm

I also prefer women to men nowadays anyway in my dating life. I should start saying in my personal life I am a lesbian! ;D

Na then you would just end up with idiots who could supposedly turn you straight :-)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 31 December 2013, 07:36:20 am
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 30 December 2013, 11:23:17 pm
Quote from: curvy_girl on 30 December 2013, 10:47:01 pm

I also prefer women to men nowadays anyway in my dating life. I should start saying in my personal life I am a lesbian! ;D

Na then you would just end up with idiots who could supposedly turn you straight :-)


Yes but your bookings would go through the roof! It might be a strategic business move with men being such simple creatures lol x  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nameless on 31 December 2013, 09:54:47 am
Quote from: Nameless on 30 December 2013, 10:37:22 am
During the past 5/6 weeks I've had more than my usual share of timewasting/spammy emails/texts; heres just one I received yesterday:

I am visiting from the British Virgin Island staying at a relative's in ******* where a phone call could be awkward.  However I have seen your website which I find exciting, and have time tomorrow (monday) for two hours between 1.30 and 3.30 if you do.  I am a youngish 65, and professional Chartered Accountant still working and living in the BVI.  My mobile phone is  +******* - and will receive texts. Calls to that number could be extremely awkward if not disasterous !  Responses to this email address are secure.  Early advice would be much appreciated especially if not convenient.

Since he didn't use my name I'm assuming this was spam, and the fact he couldn't possibly make a phone call marks him out as a big fat timewaster!

After my stern email telling him he must phone if he wanted the appointment.....he phoned, turned up, perfectly polite respectful guy, just goes to show, his email was screaming TW to me....

Possibly it helped that he wanted mild domming..so liked being told what to do!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: emmagfe on 31 December 2013, 05:35:05 pm
Client calls and asks my 30 minute rate, tell him that he says will you do 15 minutes. I say no. He Erms and Ahhs and says he will think about it.
10 minutes later. Receive a text..hi how does me licking you out for 10 minutes for ?20 sound???

He thinks he's doing me some kind of favour.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 01 January 2014, 01:38:51 pm
I've just had a call from client,who used to be my regular,asking If I would see his wife on her own.I refused as I don't see females.He pestered me in the past to see him and his wife as a couple,which I refused as well.
I've had some experiences with same sex and woman don't do anything for me,so I don't understand what he counts on ::)
Another added to my blacklist.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MM3 on 01 January 2014, 09:03:14 pm

''Ideally about 2 pm . Where r u based ? Ideally I'd like to meet in a bar near your apartment for a quick drink first  for  15 mins , I appreciate I'm paying for the time  - r u ok with this ? Also are you ok to wear short skirt and stockings . Keen to understand what to expect - do  u do Dfk and cim ?''

 FACEPALM
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 01 January 2014, 11:25:53 pm
Quote from: foreign affairs on 01 January 2014, 01:38:51 pm
I've just had a call from client,who used to be my regular,asking If I would see his wife on her own.I refused as I don't see females.He pestered me in the past to see him and his wife as a couple,which I refused as well.
I've had some experiences with same sex and woman don't do anything for me,so I don't understand what he counts on ::)
Another added to my blacklist.

why do people assume that prostitutes are always happy to go gay for pay....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady c on 02 January 2014, 09:54:42 am
I had one aswell he had lots of feedback wanted 4 hrs of my time and bareback wanting regular meets must be discrete the usual talk. My reply was its very concerning to me that you have so much feedback and request bareback, I would not go  no where near you you are a risk. He replied I have not done bareback with them and I am clean and safe as I am sure you are. My reply then why the hell you asking me for bareback, get lost. Blocked.
 I am sure we all get these requests.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LithyBony on 02 January 2014, 10:28:48 am
These waste of time serve one purpose and that's to keep us entertained and make us laugh. Hate f**king boundary pushers.  Erggggghhh
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JuicyLucy on 03 January 2014, 12:54:50 pm
Woke up to this gem this morning....

"Am looking for someone I can see on a regular basis for pure fully natural sex. No barriers whatsoever and lots of passion 2-3 times a week"

Just told him to define "pure fully natural sex" haha! As soon as these guys say regular thing etc I instantly shut off. It's just to get our attention.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 03 January 2014, 01:31:39 pm
It's called a girlfriend!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JuicyLucy on 03 January 2014, 01:37:09 pm
Hahahaha too right! I should tell him he needs to go on Plenty of Fish! He is going to call me to discuss further very shortly. I'm just going to humour myself and see what he has to say!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 03 January 2014, 02:00:06 pm
Lol yes, fuck with his head.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JuicyLucy on 04 January 2014, 12:28:12 am
He asked for thirty seconds of my time to explain his 'situation' called from a withheld number (the idiot forgot I have his number) and began to explain about his relationship breakdown, how he dated and rushed things yada yada so I cut him short and said I don't care about any of that just what are these no boundaries he means he then paused an seemed really shocked I didn't give a crap. Then he said I was expecting no condoms I said no way hung up then he proceeded to sent me messages saying I'm bitter and twisted and he would of financially supported me etc lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 04 January 2014, 11:50:42 am
I think no condoms was pretty obvious that's what he wanted lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nikitamids on 04 January 2014, 12:28:26 pm
Quote from: ladychannel on 02 January 2014, 09:54:42 am
I had one aswell he had lots of feedback wanted 4 hrs of my time and bareback wanting regular meets must be discrete the usual talk. My reply was its very concerning to me that you have so much feedback and request bareback, I would not go  no where near you you are a risk. He replied I have not done bareback with them and I am clean and safe as I am sure you are. My reply then why the hell you asking me for bareback, get lost. Blocked.
 I am sure we all get these requests.

sounds familiar with a guy from AW that messaged me asking same placed a warning on him ....vile sod
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sassy Slapper on 04 January 2014, 12:42:33 pm
I just received this on this very lovely morning. Have any of you got it or is it just me they think could be "that stupid" WE PAY THEM lol


                 

Date:   04/01/2014 10:56
From:   *******1972 (0) Profile  View All
Subject:   Hi Chloe


Happy New Year

We hope that this year brings you fortune.

We would like to offer you the opportunity to make a great start to the year by giving you the chance to win ?1000 in a contest that we believe that you are already skilled at.

Blow Jobs.......

Sounds strange doesn't it... but its true, we are currently running a contest where you can prove how well you can give a blow job.

All you have to do, is to meet one of our judges at one of our locations, where you will be given 10 minutes to give your best blow job.

You will be judged and scored on your technique, and the quality of the blow job, and gain extra points if you are able to make the judge cum within the 10 minute the period.

We only have limited spaces and they will filled quickly, so if you believe you have the skill to win you should enter.

Prizes are

First Place - ?1000
Second - ?750
&
2 Third place positions - ?500

Entry Fee: ?50

If you are interested then please contact us and we will give you more details about this contest.

Kind Regards.

 ;D ;D ;D ;D :o :o :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nikitamids on 04 January 2014, 12:46:09 pm
what you like  sat here pissing myself laughing  they will try the nobs    ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LithyBony on 04 January 2014, 02:23:01 pm
 :D  :D  :D Wow.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ScarletWoman on 04 January 2014, 02:42:15 pm
Only me who entered then? Awesome, that must mean I'm winning  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 04 January 2014, 02:43:00 pm
You have to admit he is one clever guy as some girls are going to look at the ?1000 and go blind to everything else and pay ?50 as well as give a fee BJ.   
For fun I would have asked to see the website detailing this as I would then pas it on to all my friends (just so he had his time wasted building a website) to then say Oh sorry we only do things with professional websites not home made ones just to see how greedy he really was as if he thought there was 20 or so women looking to do this he would likely pay out for one  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LithyBony on 04 January 2014, 04:47:33 pm
Quote from: Amber_Chelt on 04 January 2014, 02:42:15 pm
Only me who entered then? Awesome, that must mean I'm winning  ;D


 :D :D :D  This thread is too funny
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sassy Slapper on 04 January 2014, 07:11:33 pm
Quote from: Dani on 04 January 2014, 02:43:00 pm
You have to admit he is one clever guy as some girls are going to look at the ?1000 and go blind to everything else and pay ?50 as well as give a fee BJ.   
For fun I would have asked to see the website detailing this as I would then pas it on to all my friends (just so he had his time wasted building a website) to then say Oh sorry we only do things with professional websites not home made ones just to see how greedy he really was as if he thought there was 20 or so women looking to do this he would likely pay out for one  ;D

I asked him to furnish me with the name of the company that was sponsoring it and of course a face picture of the judge for my local area..its really upsetting that as yet I have received no reply  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 04 January 2014, 08:32:16 pm
Just got this bizzare one,

Hi, have you got a beauty who could escort me in private? Text or email me

Umm, what?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 04 January 2014, 09:03:18 pm
I keep having a guy text me asking if I am interested in Botox  ::)

Erm as a matter of fact, yes I am BUT I will go to a reputable medical professional to have my face injected with poison NOT some random who keeps asking me that got my number from a sex website.

He has text me a few times asking my availability aswell  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 04 January 2014, 09:25:21 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 04 January 2014, 09:03:18 pm
I keep having a guy text me asking if I am interested in Botox  ::)

Erm as a matter of fact, yes I am BUT I will go to a reputable medical professional to have my face injected with poison NOT some random who keeps asking me that got my number from a sex website.

He has text me a few times asking my availability aswell  ::)

Probably same idiot who texted me twice (No I don't want your crap I want money eejit).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 04 January 2014, 09:38:48 pm
Yeah he has been texting me over a long period of time with long gaps asking if I want botox, I usually ignore but when I switched my phone on after the new year,  I got 2 texts sent on completely different days asking if I want Botox, I actually text him back this time telling him basically what I wrote in the post above xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 06 January 2014, 05:57:56 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 04 January 2014, 09:03:18 pm
I keep having a guy text me asking if I am interested in Botox  ::)

Erm as a matter of fact, yes I am BUT I will go to a reputable medical professional to have my face injected with poison NOT some random who keeps asking me that got my number from a sex website.

He has text me a few times asking my availability aswell  ::)

I've had that, blocked him as spam.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 06 January 2014, 06:17:48 pm
Got this beaut the otherday,

him: Hey. The last time I went to see an independant escort, I got along with her so well that we're now good friends and go on regular dates. How single and available are you? I'm asian, very smart and possibly very attractivexxx

Me: (lists various dating websites)

him: fine suit yourself. I was willing to pay. Not looking for a freebie.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 06 January 2014, 07:55:41 pm
If he wasn't looking for a freebie then why is it of any relevance what your personal life status is?  ::) xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 06 January 2014, 10:31:54 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 06 January 2014, 06:17:48 pm
Got this beaut the otherday,

him: Hey. The last time I went to see an independant escort, I got along with her so well that we're now good friends and go on regular dates. How single and available are you? I'm asian, very smart and possibly very attractivexxx

Me: (lists various dating websites)

him: fine suit yourself. I was willing to pay. Not looking for a freebie.

You probably missed out on the love of your life there  :o

Possibly very attractive?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JuicyLucy on 06 January 2014, 10:37:46 pm
As soon as they talk about their looks I yawn. Why do they insist on this. Dude I don't care if you look like Brad Pitt or a hideous person you are paying me for my time and it won't get you any form of discount if you're attractive! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 06 January 2014, 10:49:17 pm
Quote from: JuicyLucy on 06 January 2014, 10:37:46 pm
As soon as they talk about their looks I yawn. Why do they insist on this. Dude I don't care if you look like Brad Pitt or a hideous person you are paying me for my time and it won't get you any form of discount if you're attractive! :FF

The best one I heard was:-

Can I get a discount because you will be getting pleasure too?


(LOL)

As much as most my wonderful gents give me orgasms (yay) I think this guy would be the kind to rub your clit to bits and try and be very very up himself.

Really not appealing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JuicyLucy on 06 January 2014, 10:53:20 pm
Hahahahaha! I had that one.

"I'm really good at pleasuring ladies and I'm great at oral can I have a discount."

The second I hear that one I shudder as I know they will be terrible! But a discount too? Don't know if to laugh or cry at times!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 07 January 2014, 01:58:23 am
Quote from: JuicyLucy on 06 January 2014, 10:53:20 pm
Hahahahaha! I had that one.

"I'm really good at pleasuring ladies and I'm great at oral can I have a discount."

The second I hear that one I shudder as I know they will be terrible! But a discount too? Don't know if to laugh or cry at times!!!!

Yep, once you accept a booking from a guy like that, instinctively you just know they're going to be awful! Personally, the prospect of such a session makes me clench up and dry out down there, I just lube up in advance and hope to be proven wrong (not once have I been, as of yet) lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 07 January 2014, 02:01:18 am
Next time they ask that I'll ask them why they are not an escort earning lots of money from women who are lining up to pay for it  seeing as they are that good that they -have- to have a discount.  ::)

You would have to literally have to be Johnny Depp or a seriously funny and awesome chick to get any kind of discount if not an instant thong off   ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 07 January 2014, 02:20:39 am
The only person I'd drop my knickers for free of charge is Michel Roux Jr., everybody else has to pay, tough!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JuicyLucy on 07 January 2014, 03:42:58 pm
Haha! I remember during my early escorting days a guy messaged me and asked to go meet him at a bar. He said that he helps other escorts "switch off" and uses techniques taught by Derren Brown! Lol!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 07 January 2014, 08:19:17 pm
Had a guy email me about a 3 day booking. Its going to make me more skeptical of guys who want longer appointments now.

I have had longer appointments and was happy to talk to him and entertain the thought that he might be genuine.

I gave him a quote for the three days as he was persistently asking for it before I had even figured out what he wanted during the booking. and then he instantly emails me this:-

How hard and rough can I fuck your ass pussy and mouth? Please rate on a scale of 1-10 (10=no limits) and rate both hard and rough separately for each hole. thanks


What?!?

I then reply with this:- (considering I have just spent about 10-15 mins emailing this idiot.)

Sorry but I am not comfortable you asking that sort of question. I do not discuss things of a sexual nature within my emails. When we carry out the booking we can talk further about these things.

His reply was:-

Thank you for your time, I appreciate it. however I cannot proceed without understanding sexual compatibility and this is something you are not comfortable with, hence I will need to look elsewhere.


I am not going mad, this guy must have been looking for some sex chat, he needed some specific numbers. Wtf?!?  :FF

If he listed out a whole load of things he wanted yea fair enough. I don't rate the hardness I like my mouth to be rammed on my profile. I say I like it rough and that should have been enough but I felt like this guy was a bit too forward and was a time waster. His email address started with the letters aw as in adult work. so he made an email address just to talk to aw ladies. I can give a full email address. Its just so he doesn't waste anyone elses time really  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LithyBony on 07 January 2014, 08:26:02 pm
WOW. He tried to survey you! I shouldn't laugh but I found it funny just when I thought they didn't have any more tricks up their sleeves...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 07 January 2014, 08:27:50 pm
I know right?

I thought I was being unreasonable for a moment but then I realized the thought of a three day booking sounded excellent as things had been a bit slow recently. Le money blinded me!

Still such a newbie.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 07 January 2014, 09:11:23 pm
Quote from: curvy_girl on 07 January 2014, 08:27:50 pm
Le money blinded me!

Yes it did.

In time, you'll just block idiots like this at the first sign of TWing - many people would have pressed the block button on being asked this sort of 'please provide me with free wanking material' question.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 07 January 2014, 09:22:30 pm
Quote from: curvy_girl on 07 January 2014, 08:19:17 pm
Had a guy email me about a 3 day booking. Its going to make me more skeptical of guys who want longer appointments now.

I have had longer appointments and was happy to talk to him and entertain the thought that he might be genuine.

I gave him a quote for the three days as he was persistently asking for it before I had even figured out what he wanted during the booking. and then he instantly emails me this:-

How hard and rough can I fuck your ass pussy and mouth? Please rate on a scale of 1-10 (10=no limits) and rate both hard and rough separately for each hole. thanks


What?!?

I then reply with this:- (considering I have just spent about 10-15 mins emailing this idiot.)

Sorry but I am not comfortable you asking that sort of question. I do not discuss things of a sexual nature within my emails. When we carry out the booking we can talk further about these things.

His reply was:-

Thank you for your time, I appreciate it. however I cannot proceed without understanding sexual compatibility and this is something you are not comfortable with, hence I will need to look elsewhere.


I am not going mad, this guy must have been looking for some sex chat, he needed some specific numbers. Wtf?!?  :FF

If he listed out a whole load of things he wanted yea fair enough. I don't rate the hardness I like my mouth to be rammed on my profile. I say I like it rough and that should have been enough but I felt like this guy was a bit too forward and was a time waster. His email address started with the letters aw as in adult work. so he made an email address just to talk to aw ladies. I can give a full email address. Its just so he doesn't waste anyone elses time really  >:(

Lets say for 2 seconds that he was genuinely looking for information on your sexual compatibility which I suppose is a fair thing thought its madness that he would book such a long booking without booking you for the hour first to see in person how compatible you are, I too would be turned off by this as I would find it not only crude and vulgar but also intimidating thinking fuck is this guy going to RUIN my insides for 3 days solid and leave me in a wheelchair?? So I would not entertain it either HOWEVER my profile doesnt have any dirty talk or dirty pics on it so anyone emailing me shouldn't be surprised that I don't entertain all that but with you having mentioned how rough you like it etc, he maybe didn't realise he was crossing the line.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 08 January 2014, 12:47:34 am
You know what i hate more than anything  -  the one thing that get my temperature rising and bubbling

You get a text from some random person  but you cant respond straight away because your busy  and five min later its another fucking text with   ???? 

wtf  obviously i cant respond to the text because I'm busy so ????? me will get me to reply even quicker  Nope i will just ignore it even more 

  If anyone ever got hold of my phones they would think my phones have a severe case of Tourette syndrome  or that the owner of the phone has some very strange friends  called fuckhead July 2013  &  asshole dick 2   amongst my favourites

The amount of swear words that have in my phone for contact are unreal
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saturnspirit on 08 January 2014, 01:03:12 am
Quote from: ParisB on 08 January 2014, 12:47:34 am
You know what i hate more than anything  -  the one thing that get my temperature rising and bubbling

You get a text from some random person  but you cant respond straight away because your busy  and five min later its another fucking text with   ???? 

wtf  obviously i cant respond to the text because I'm busy so ????? me will get me to reply even quicker  Nope i will just ignore it even more 

  If anyone ever got hold of my phones they would think my phones have a severe case of Tourette syndrome  or that the owner of the phone has some very strange friends  called fuckhead July 2013  &  asshole dick 2   amongst my favourites

The amount of swear words that have in my phone for contact are unreal

I'm glad i'm not the only one! Those ? texts drive me nuts! And what pisses me off even more is that all the information they need is on my website/ profile and they can't be arsed reading it. Just send texts like how much for half hour, then 2 mins later a text ? then 2 mins later is ????
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JuicyLucy on 08 January 2014, 01:04:35 am
I second that one ladies. Or when they prank call you over and over until you respond to the text message. That's equally annoying!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 08 January 2014, 08:07:31 am
Quote from: ParisB on 08 January 2014, 12:47:34 am
You know what i hate more than anything  -  the one thing that get my temperature rising and bubbling

You get a text from some random person  but you cant respond straight away because your busy  and five min later its another fucking text with   ???? 

wtf  obviously i cant respond to the text because I'm busy so ????? me will get me to reply even quicker  Nope i will just ignore it even more 

  If anyone ever got hold of my phones they would think my phones have a severe case of Tourette syndrome  or that the owner of the phone has some very strange friends  called fuckhead July 2013  &  asshole dick 2   amongst my favourites

The amount of swear words that have in my phone for contact are unreal

Yip, I hate this too. I don't respond to texts anyway unless its someone I know, sometimes I will text someone back asking if I know them and if they say no then I don't continue the conversation, my profiles clear so if they cant be bothered to read it then I cant be bothered to play text ping pong.

There are plenty of decent men who DO read profiles and follow my simple procedure (which is READ then PHONE to arrange) that we don't give enough credit to so I will just stick to seeing those men.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nikitamids on 09 January 2014, 12:54:22 pm
Quote from: ParisB on 08 January 2014, 12:47:34 am
You know what i hate more than anything  -  the one thing that get my temperature rising and bubbling

You get a text from some random person  but you cant respond straight away because your busy  and five min later its another fucking text with   ???? 

wtf  obviously i cant respond to the text because I'm busy so ????? me will get me to reply even quicker  Nope i will just ignore it even more 

  If anyone ever got hold of my phones they would think my phones have a severe case of Tourette syndrome  or that the owner of the phone has some very strange friends  called fuckhead July 2013  &  asshole dick 2   amongst my favourites

The amount of swear words that have in my phone for contact are unreal


Ditto  fun is trying to think of a new name to give each one :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 09 January 2014, 10:32:02 pm
Quote from: ParisB on 08 January 2014, 12:47:34 am
You know what i hate more than anything  -  the one thing that get my temperature rising and bubbling

You get a text from some random person  but you cant respond straight away because your busy  and five min later its another fucking text with   ???? 

wtf  obviously i cant respond to the text because I'm busy so ????? me will get me to reply even quicker  Nope i will just ignore it even more 

  If anyone ever got hold of my phones they would think my phones have a severe case of Tourette syndrome  or that the owner of the phone has some very strange friends  called fuckhead July 2013  &  asshole dick 2   amongst my favourites

The amount of swear words that have in my phone for contact are unreal

OMG the "?" syndrome  :o I can't stand it either. Quite often it'll come after a completely pointless text or me saying he needs to phone (because we are going around in circles). "Just one more question" and when I don't answer (after warning/advice being given) it's "?" or even better "???". ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 10 January 2014, 11:47:31 am
I got my first 'you open' text today.

I will finally be able to respond with the 'I am not a shop' :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 10 January 2014, 11:59:57 am
there's a guy who texts "RU at it?"

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 10 January 2014, 12:08:29 pm
Quote from: KimberlyC on 10 January 2014, 11:59:57 am
there's a guy who texts "RU at it?"

Like a rabbit tell him :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MaddieMoo on 10 January 2014, 03:36:16 pm
Had a guy email asking for a booking, normal email until.... He says he "Just can't wait to play with [my] honeypot."
.
.
.
.
.
.
:-X

Ewwww who calls a vagina that?!!

I'm sure he's lovely but I almost don't want to say yes now, I'm going to shudder every time I imagine reading that sentence when I see him. What if he says it at the booking too... Could call his cock a breadstick and talk about dipping. :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 10 January 2014, 04:08:41 pm
Quote from: MaddieMoo on 10 January 2014, 03:36:16 pm
Had a guy email asking for a booking, normal email until.... He says he "Just can't wait to play with [my] honeypot."
.
.
.
.
.
.
:-X

Ewwww who calls a vagina that?!!

I'm sure he's lovely but I almost don't want to say yes now, I'm going to shudder every time I imagine reading that sentence when I see him. What if he says it at the booking too... Could call his cock a breadstick and talk about dipping. :o

Is he Winnie the pooh?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 10 January 2014, 04:15:55 pm
Got a text saying where you frm? I replied Mars, haven't heard back from him lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MaddieMoo on 10 January 2014, 04:51:59 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 10 January 2014, 04:08:41 pm
Quote from: MaddieMoo on 10 January 2014, 03:36:16 pm
Had a guy email asking for a booking, normal email until.... He says he "Just can't wait to play with [my] honeypot."
.
.
.
.
.
.
:-X

Ewwww who calls a vagina that?!!

I'm sure he's lovely but I almost don't want to say yes now, I'm going to shudder every time I imagine reading that sentence when I see him. What if he says it at the booking too... Could call his cock a breadstick and talk about dipping. :o

Is he Winnie the pooh?

I have this messed up image in my head now! haha

Quote from: Pink~Princess on 10 January 2014, 04:15:55 pm
Got a text saying where you frm? I replied Mars, haven't heard back from him lol x


I get asked on the phone where I'm from because of my accent, but what annoys me is when someone asks where I'm from, I say broadly where from, and then they tell me what they meant was "Where do you live in Manchester?" That question really winds me up because I've already said I'll go to see you at the location you've mentioned, why do you need to know where I live? It's not chit chat time obviously so asking where I live seems really creepy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Txox on 10 January 2014, 05:46:20 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 10 January 2014, 04:08:41 pm
Quote from: MaddieMoo on 10 January 2014, 03:36:16 pm
Had a guy email asking for a booking, normal email until.... He says he "Just can't wait to play with [my] honeypot."
.
.
.
.
.
.
:-X

Ewwww who calls a vagina that?!!

I'm sure he's lovely but I almost don't want to say yes now, I'm going to shudder every time I imagine reading that sentence when I see him. What if he says it at the booking too... Could call his cock a breadstick and talk about dipping. :o

Is he Winnie the pooh?

Just laughed like a mentalist at this hahaha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissLarissa on 10 January 2014, 06:18:41 pm
I usually respond with "crazy". Like when i receive the " r u open" texts i tend to pick a strange topic and write about it, like " Usually i am open, but lately my views on the Large Hadron Collider has shifted a little, i mean, come on, it is just a giant magnet! So i guess i am not as open as other people"

I tend not to hear from them again after :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissLarissa on 10 January 2014, 06:25:38 pm
Hah the irony, as i was typing the above post i received a text. Bad grammar included: " Wtf, why arnt yuo escorting anymore???" ( i am currently just camming due to my living arrangements and this is explained on all my profiles).

So i replied "My apologies, i am currently going through the process of steel-coating my vagina. Will be back in a few weeks". Let's see if he replies. What pisses me off is the whole tone of the text, like how dare i take a break?? Can't i see that these men have needs?? :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 10 January 2014, 08:19:14 pm
Just got this from someone who wants 10mins at midnight lol after I told him to sod off and there is no z in please. 'I reali wana ce u Kuntz'...... Not sure what language that is lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 10 January 2014, 08:29:39 pm
Quote from: ClaireJayne on 10 January 2014, 08:19:14 pm
Just got this from someone who wants 10mins at midnight lol after I told him to sod off and there is no z in please. 'I reali wana ce u Kuntz'...... Not sure what language that is lol

That is just scary  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 10 January 2014, 11:07:12 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 10 January 2014, 08:29:39 pm
Quote from: ClaireJayne on 10 January 2014, 08:19:14 pm
Just got this from someone who wants 10mins at midnight lol after I told him to sod off and there is no z in please. 'I reali wana ce u Kuntz'...... Not sure what language that is lol

That is just scary  ;D

Maybe he's a football fan? I can't be the only one who's old enough to remember the joy of listening to the Euro '96 commentators tiptoeing carefully through that one ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 10 January 2014, 11:24:03 pm
Quote from: MissLarissa on 10 January 2014, 06:18:41 pm
I usually respond with "crazy". Like when i receive the " r u open" texts i tend to pick a strange topic and write about it, like " Usually i am open, but lately my views on the Large Hadron Collider has shifted a little, i mean, come on, it is just a giant magnet! So i guess i am not as open as other people"

I tend not to hear from them again after :D

love your style  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 11 January 2014, 09:29:59 am
how much for just a blowjob.

why do they think that its JUST a blowjob and that they can have a reduced rate on it... ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 11 January 2014, 10:33:16 am
Quote from: ilovedots on 10 January 2014, 08:29:39 pm
Quote from: ClaireJayne on 10 January 2014, 08:19:14 pm
Just got this from someone who wants 10mins at midnight lol after I told him to sod off and there is no z in please. 'I reali wana ce u Kuntz'...... Not sure what language that is lol

That is just scary  ;D

He was def up to something, I Text back saying 10 mins world be ?200 given the hour and he said that was okay just needed to know where I was, put phone on silent and woke to 39 missed calls and 10 poorly written text messages.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 11 January 2014, 11:12:57 am
S'happnen hen? Am needin a hooker fur ma pal, he's just oot the jail 

::)  ::)

I wrote that the way he said it, I mean really? What are you suppose to say to that? I just did my usual and hung up.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nikitamids on 12 January 2014, 12:19:14 am
as bad as need a 10 min appointment to test the goods lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 14 January 2014, 01:31:49 pm
Just had a guy ring up and say hi how are you I have just found your profile, I said hi yes how are you.

He said something about being a dom and asked if that was ok, I said yes that is no problem at all and then waited for him to give me details,

He said, yes SIR

I said sorry say that again??

He then hung up.

Time wasting free sex chat. If you wanted to make a booking with a girl you do not start off in such a rude manner even if you -are- a dom. For me the dom session starts when you are there and at the booking as the same applies for going into detail about bookings. All the information is on the profile. I feel like i shouldn't have to say the session starts when I am there and not on the phone -_-
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 14 January 2014, 04:54:35 pm
Quote from: curvy_girl on 14 January 2014, 01:31:49 pm
Just had a guy ring up and say hi how are you I have just found your profile, I said hi yes how are you.

He said something about being a dom and asked if that was ok, I said yes that is no problem at all and then waited for him to give me details,

He said, yes SIR

I said sorry say that again??

He then hung up.

Time wasting free sex chat. If you wanted to make a booking with a girl you do not start off in such a rude manner even if you -are- a dom. For me the dom session starts when you are there and at the booking as the same applies for going into detail about bookings. All the information is on the profile. I feel like i shouldn't have to say the session starts when I am there and not on the phone -_-

I had this more times than I care to remember, I just laugh and put the phone down. Also when I was relatively new, I had one guy try to get dominant with me halfway through his booking (he never asked about it, and if he did I would've turned him down straight away), wanting me to reply "Yes, Master" to every question. I did eventually lose my patience and said with a big smile on my face "I'm sorry, this isn't going to work, you're hardly a Master here, it's not as if you're teaching me anything!". He didn't like it at all, I ruined his little moment, but hey, that's what you get for trying it on with me  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sassy Slapper on 14 January 2014, 08:56:23 pm
Quote from: curvy_girl on 14 January 2014, 01:31:49 pm
Just had a guy ring up and say hi how are you I have just found your profile, I said hi yes how are you.

He said something about being a dom and asked if that was ok, I said yes that is no problem at all and then waited for him to give me details,

He said, yes SIR

I said sorry say that again??

He then hung up.

Time wasting free sex chat. If you wanted to make a booking with a girl you do not start off in such a rude manner even if you -are- a dom. For me the dom session starts when you are there and at the booking as the same applies for going into detail about bookings. All the information is on the profile. I feel like i shouldn't have to say the session starts when I am there and not on the phone -_-

Lol I wouldnt worry too much. I had a call once

ME- hello

Man-I have been looking at your pictures all weekend.

Me (in sexyish voice)- ooo have you now.

Him-Yeah you're fat arnt you

Dial tone brrrrrrr???

Me- :( >:( :FF then REDIAL?err excuuhhhuuuuse me *imagine mini rant till i hang up*

You just have to learn to laugh at some of them
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ScarletWoman on 14 January 2014, 11:01:43 pm
Quote from: KimberlyC on 10 January 2014, 11:59:57 am
there's a guy who texts "RU at it?"

I get a guy who texts that over and over. That and 'are u busy?'...'are u busy being fucked?' maybe same guy with a hobby.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 14 January 2014, 11:06:12 pm
The ones who talk about us being fat, I just tell them I can go on a diet and lose the fat but they will never be able to find a nice personality ............... and hang up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 15 January 2014, 12:30:06 am
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 14 January 2014, 11:06:12 pm
The ones who talk about us being fat, I just tell them I can go on a diet and lose the fat but they will never be able to find a nice personality ............... and hang up.

Haha! I like that LL  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 15 January 2014, 12:34:52 am
Meant to copy and paste the email before I blocked the guy but forgot and blocked him without it, once you block someone, their emails disappear.

Anyway he's emailed me twice this week asking to be my slave (I don't offer this) and says he will do all my cleaning etc but can only afford ?100 a month and ?10 a week towards my food LOL!!

WFT?? I charge ?100 for a half hour of my time so why the fuck would I give someone a months worth of my time for ?100 as these slaves are very needy with constant emails/texts/calls etc.

Just silly  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sassy Slapper on 15 January 2014, 08:36:20 am
We all get these slaves. You should count yourself lucky he offered to pay at all lol. Usually when you ask how many hours they want at 130 an hour you suddenly dont hear back from them. mmmmm strange that  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 15 January 2014, 10:48:13 am
Phone calls this morning around 1am....ignored so I wake up to a text this morning from the same idiot at 03.22 saying..................

Hour much u take per hour? Age 23 all want is blow job and French kissing and your hot touches to make me relax..Glasgow!!


Um ?130 ya numpty! Not I will be seeing you EVER!!

Why do so many of them think you charge per service and not for your time? There just must be plenty of women in the industry who work like this otherwise there wouldn't be as many requests as there is for rates on handjobs or blowjobs or whatever!

 ::)  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 15 January 2014, 12:03:13 pm
Yeah, I hate the "how much for just a blow job" or "how much for just a massage and sexual release?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 16 January 2014, 02:31:26 am
Today I had the following via text 'When u free next bitch'.

I don't usually respond but was in a grumpy mood,so replied with 'When someone refers to me as bitch..er never!'
He actually replied with 'Sorry' before I blocked him!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 16 January 2014, 11:11:31 am
Had a guy like that but he rang up and referred to me as that. What is going through these guys heads? I mean seriously?!?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RosannaRose on 16 January 2014, 09:31:27 pm
A customer in December asked me as he arrived if he could have a "festive discount"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RosannaRose on 16 January 2014, 09:34:26 pm
And I couldn't count the amount of time's I've had idiots text me saying "i'm about to come i'm gonna call you" so they can wank on the phone, this wind's me up more than anything, got to the point where I had to save people's number's as "wanker"!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Indy_Helena on 17 January 2014, 12:31:22 am
During my brief stay in London, I saw many ads on Craigslist. The worst that stood out was "Genuine pimp looking for girls 18+ to make big money. I have rich clients"
Genuine pimp?!   ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 17 January 2014, 12:51:36 am
Quote from: Indy_Helena on 17 January 2014, 12:31:22 am
During my brief stay in London, I saw many ads on Craigslist. The worst that stood out was "Genuine pimp looking for girls 18+ to make big money. I have rich clients"
Genuine pimp?!   ::)

That's absolutely awful, I hope he got reported!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: glitter cupcake on 17 January 2014, 08:06:11 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 15 January 2014, 12:34:52 am
Meant to copy and paste the email before I blocked the guy but forgot and blocked him without it, once you block someone, their emails disappear.

Anyway he's emailed me twice this week asking to be my slave (I don't offer this) and says he will do all my cleaning etc but can only afford ?100 a month and ?10 a week towards my food LOL!!

WFT?? I charge ?100 for a half hour of my time so why the fuck would I give someone a months worth of my time for ?100 as these slaves are very needy with constant emails/texts/calls etc.

Just silly  ::)

Haha you've had the pleasure of him too then. With me, he sent a PS saying he would need to save for the ?100 but could drop the ?10 food shop on first visit!  ;D :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 17 January 2014, 08:42:38 pm
Just got a dick pic on Whatsapp.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 17 January 2014, 10:23:08 pm
Quote from: KimberlyC on 17 January 2014, 08:42:38 pm
Just got a dick pic on Whatsapp.  :FF

Why do they do it? I'm perplexed. Surely, they must realise that they're definitely not original... Perhaps they just try and provoke you into giving them a bit of abuse, silly boys!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 17 January 2014, 10:31:03 pm
I really don't like when they use Whattsapp. I can't really explain why. I use it to talk to two particular people in my life. I don't like other people popping up in it. I also don't like that they can tell when you're online or have been online. I may wish to ignore a message or reply to it later. I don't want them to see that I've seen it.

I am unable to get photos in my texts. I have to log in to some website to view them (and I never do.) So, I'm sort of protected from the dick pics. But Whatsapp is just open for anyone with my phone number to use.

At some point I'll have to better separate my work and private phones and then delete Whatsapp from my work phone.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 17 January 2014, 11:02:51 pm
I get loads of what I am going to assume is dick pics on my phone but as I don't have mms set up on it I dont get to see them which I am happy about.  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 18 January 2014, 12:01:59 am
My work phone is a basic Nokia brick so thankfully I dont need to deal with cock pics.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 18 January 2014, 12:46:26 am
Quote from: glitter cupcake on 17 January 2014, 08:06:11 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 15 January 2014, 12:34:52 am
Meant to copy and paste the email before I blocked the guy but forgot and blocked him without it, once you block someone, their emails disappear.

Anyway he's emailed me twice this week asking to be my slave (I don't offer this) and says he will do all my cleaning etc but can only afford ?100 a month and ?10 a week towards my food LOL!!

WFT?? I charge ?100 for a half hour of my time so why the fuck would I give someone a months worth of my time for ?100 as these slaves are very needy with constant emails/texts/calls etc.

Just silly  ::)

Haha you've had the pleasure of him too then. With me, he sent a PS saying he would need to save for the ?100 but could drop the ?10 food shop on first visit!  ;D :FF

Yup I got the same email three times this week with the 10 GBP food shop to be dropped off each month.  Aye right im gonna give up my time for a tenner worth of groceries. Muppet !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: glitter cupcake on 18 January 2014, 12:59:08 am
Ah, I got the better offer then-?10 of food shop a WEEK-plus ?100 for the humiliaton session once a month-lucky me!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 18 January 2014, 01:09:52 am
Quote from: KimberlyC on 17 January 2014, 10:31:03 pm
I really don't like when they use Whattsapp. I can't really explain why. I use it to talk to two particular people in my life. I don't like other people popping up in it. I also don't like that they can tell when you're online or have been online. I may wish to ignore a message or reply to it later. I don't want them to see that I've seen it.

I am unable to get photos in my texts. I have to log in to some website to view them (and I never do.) So, I'm sort of protected from the dick pics. But Whatsapp is just open for anyone with my phone number to use.

At some point I'll have to better separate my work and private phones and then delete Whatsapp from my work phone.

Go on whatsapp then...................

Chat settings then
Advanced then
Last seen timestamp

That will stop people from seeing that your online and typing and alo they wont be able to see when you were last on x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 18 January 2014, 03:05:23 am
Quote from: glitter cupcake on 18 January 2014, 12:59:08 am
Ah, I got the better offer then-?10 of food shop a WEEK-plus ?100 for the humiliaton session once a month-lucky me!!

Sorry typo GC, was once a week.  Maybe should share, NOT !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 18 January 2014, 10:07:19 am
Quote from: KimberlyC on 17 January 2014, 08:42:38 pm
Just got a dick pic on Whatsapp.  :FF


Woo Hoo! Free wank material for you!

(lol)

I bet you were running over there after that going 'Take me master!'

Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 18 January 2014, 12:01:59 am
My work phone is a basic Nokia brick so thankfully I dont need to deal with cock pics.

Yup. I also have a brick myself. And its my only phone and I am genuinely happy that I don't have a buzzing phone every 5 seconds to tell me I have a message from someone who is not trying to directly contact my phone -_-

Anyway.

A guy asked what I meant by not offering role play.

I said, 'It means I don't offer role play'

I think I will start leaving my profile blank seeing as I am just an old record player it seems :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 18 January 2014, 01:41:30 pm
Had a phone call from a guy who firstly asked if he could speak to bibibusty...my name is bibi (cringe). He claimed he had read my website then asked to see me at 10pm even though my hours are stated at 10am until 8pm.
I pointed this out to him and he then said aggressively 'well i read for a few mins but when I try to call you you never answer your phone so stopped reading' ??? ???
I explained that I can't always answer my phone and why didn't he leave a message, also what did that have to do with having a read of my website properly?
He went quiet and said 'So can I book you or not?'
'Not'.
They do talk some cobblers don't they? Oh and when I checked my call log...he's never called me before.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sassy Slapper on 18 January 2014, 03:43:35 pm
Two I ignored in the last couple of days

Text saying "anal?"..thats it, nothing else, one word

Text saying "fees!!".. the exclamation mark implies "answer me NOW!!

One I actively declined today

Text saying "Hi my son has asked for a rather unusual birthday present this year. Can you help?"

Answer.."no'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 19 January 2014, 04:07:28 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 30 December 2013, 04:00:46 pm
Quote from: naughtyT on 30 December 2013, 02:41:29 pm
Grrr!

Last night about 1am I got a phone call for an outcall booking, fairly local so I agreed. He didn't have an AW profile for personal reasons, but gave me full name, address and landline number which checked out. I was just about ready to leave and he text saying "Just checked funds online and I only have ?100.. hope this is ok?"

ERR NO?

This drives me absolutely crazy. Do they think that because we have already left the house we'll think "oh well, it's late and better than nothing!"


IDIOTS.

I agree with you NaughtyT, I wouldn't entertain that either even if I was standing in their house out of sheer disrespect. They know my rates and should have that organised before even picking up the phone.

Problem is there are LOADS of girls happy and willing to accept their offer as like you said its better than nothing so guys like this probably just try this stunt on many girls until they find someone who will accept it.

I just think if they don't like my rates or services then they can carry on looking for someone else more suitable. If they ignore all the information on my profile and assume they can get me to do what they want, they are wrong.

xx
And also this is typical of stupid o'clock at night/morning callers. I wouldn't of even left my bed for my full fee loll!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 19 January 2014, 04:10:09 am
Quote from: curvy_girl on 30 December 2013, 06:09:16 pm
I had been talking to this guy for a booking and we were going to meet today in a hotel near me for four hours. He cancelled last min and said he was not well. We planned to meet for this Thursday same place time ect. so we agree with everything and I say yes everything is ok. these were the emails that followed:-

Him:- Cheers hun. You def english? X
Me:-Of course, you can ring me up and we can have a chat if you like [phone number here] Lou x
Him:-Always nice to have a english chick tbh. Any plans tonight? X

(at this point I knew he was trying to make unnecessary small talk and irritated me but meh I replied)

Me:-Just going to chill, hope you feel better soon. Look forward to seeing you thursday, Lou x

Him:-You got a fella babe? Kev x

(here we go)

Me:-www.oasis.com, www.POF.com, www.smooch.com, Have a look there for a girlfriend. I am looking for business not a boyfriend!

(and then this corker)

Him:- Ha I hear ya. Business will be brought on Thursday babe. I like the look of ya. I don't care about paying to fuck you x


A keeper ladies? I feel a time waster and a shit experience a stalker and a general idiot coming my way... But I don't know, sounds innocent enough but not exactly a gentleman :P
OMG sounds very "chav" tastic to me! As soon as he started the unnecessary texts I would of told him where to go! Hate guys like this,
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 19 January 2014, 11:08:36 am
Just had a guy text me asking for half an hour for ?40 quid.

I text back:-

LOL!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 20 January 2014, 08:42:12 am
Haha!

How about this! 

'I was going to try and arrange a booking with you as you seem like an interesting lady to meet but it looks like your rates go up on a weekly basis. I hadn't realised that we live in Zimbabwe. Where's it going to end? Don't wish to be a cheap skate but not all punters out there are investment bankers or hedge fund managers. You seem to have moved from being good value to premium pricing in 4 weeks. I guess I'll just need to look for cheaper options as you'll soon be ?200/hr'

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 20 January 2014, 09:23:13 am
Got this beaut this morning......................

hey gorgeous!

I'm eddie young fit guy, great body and well hung

live in ****** (in the nice bit) can travel and accom

I'm fun to be around and experienced
looking for no pressure no strings meets. some chat and a laugh!

i have a serious fetish for spandex and leggings. looking for a girl that will dress up in shiny leggings or disco pants and tease me. let me know if you would be ok doing that please!
i think your gorgeous just the type of girl that turns me on but if your not into dressing up theres no point in wasting each others time!

please reply so i know you got this and your real etc and i will forward you full, clear face shots and body shots straight away

if you prefer id call you let me know your interested and i will call you!

anyway hope your good and that i hear back from you soon

all the best

eddie

I hate these emails, I am not interested in whether he's got a 10 inch cock or a 1 inch cock, their size is of no relevance what so ever since they are paying clients and not the guy I am going to spend my life with.

Nor am I interested in him sending me pictures of what he looks like, is he getting this mixed up with dating or what?

And maybe he thinks he's fun to be around but I probably wont since I didn't find his email fun.  ::)

And with 262 positive reviews, how can he question my authenticity?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 20 January 2014, 12:37:27 pm
Quote from: ClaireJayne on 20 January 2014, 08:42:12 am
Haha!

How about this! 

'I was going to try and arrange a booking with you as you seem like an interesting lady to meet but it looks like your rates go up on a weekly basis. I hadn't realised that we live in Zimbabwe. Where's it going to end? Don't wish to be a cheap skate but not all punters out there are investment bankers or hedge fund managers. You seem to have moved from being good value to premium pricing in 4 weeks. I guess I'll just need to look for cheaper options as you'll soon be ?200/hr'

Fantastic! Zimbabwe,what a bellend
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 20 January 2014, 12:52:54 pm
You should have seen the response I sent back lol....fucker! He has 4 aliases on AW...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 20 January 2014, 07:58:16 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 20 January 2014, 09:23:13 am
Got this beaut this morning......................

hey gorgeous!

I'm eddie young fit guy, great body and well hung

live in ****** (in the nice bit) can travel and accom

I'm fun to be around and experienced
looking for no pressure no strings meets. some chat and a laugh!

i have a serious fetish for spandex and leggings. looking for a girl that will dress up in shiny leggings or disco pants and tease me. let me know if you would be ok doing that please!
i think your gorgeous just the type of girl that turns me on but if your not into dressing up theres no point in wasting each others time!

please reply so i know you got this and your real etc and i will forward you full, clear face shots and body shots straight away

if you prefer id call you let me know your interested and i will call you!

anyway hope your good and that i hear back from you soon

all the best

eddie

I hate these emails, I am not interested in whether he's got a 10 inch cock or a 1 inch cock, their size is of no relevance what so ever since they are paying clients and not the guy I am going to spend my life with.

Nor am I interested in him sending me pictures of what he looks like, is he getting this mixed up with dating or what?

And maybe he thinks he's fun to be around but I probably wont since I didn't find his email fun.  ::)

And with 262 positive reviews, how can he question my authenticity?  ::)

Awww and I thought I was special  :'(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 20 January 2014, 08:38:02 pm
Hahahahaha did you get that too? x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 20 January 2014, 08:54:42 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 20 January 2014, 08:38:02 pm
Hahahahaha did you get that too? x

Yes I did
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 20 January 2014, 09:27:30 pm
Oh well neither of us are that special then are we  :'( x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 20 January 2014, 10:23:03 pm
Hate to say it, but even the oldies like myself are getting it too, was a couple of .months ago for me though.  I too don't like lengthy emails and very rarely get to the end. :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 20 January 2014, 11:38:21 pm
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 20 January 2014, 07:58:16 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 20 January 2014, 09:23:13 am
Got this beaut this morning......................

hey gorgeous!

I'm eddie young fit guy, great body and well hung

live in ****** (in the nice bit) can travel and accom

I'm fun to be around and experienced
looking for no pressure no strings meets. some chat and a laugh!

i have a serious fetish for spandex and leggings. looking for a girl that will dress up in shiny leggings or disco pants and tease me. let me know if you would be ok doing that please!
i think your gorgeous just the type of girl that turns me on but if your not into dressing up theres no point in wasting each others time!

please reply so i know you got this and your real etc and i will forward you full, clear face shots and body shots straight away

if you prefer id call you let me know your interested and i will call you!

anyway hope your good and that i hear back from you soon

all the best

eddie

I hate these emails, I am not interested in whether he's got a 10 inch cock or a 1 inch cock, their size is of no relevance what so ever since they are paying clients and not the guy I am going to spend my life with.

Nor am I interested in him sending me pictures of what he looks like, is he getting this mixed up with dating or what?

And maybe he thinks he's fun to be around but I probably wont since I didn't find his email fun.  ::)

And with 262 positive reviews, how can he question my authenticity?  ::)

Awww and I thought I was special  :'(

I feel left out but NOT getting one :'( lets hope he does the rounds and I get one too!

Ahem :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 20 January 2014, 11:39:47 pm
Lol he's in Scotland, I am sure he'll make his way down South with his emails lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 20 January 2014, 11:52:41 pm
Thank goodness. Was getting worried for a moment :P

I have a guy who wanted to book me, a younger guy and I have -reluctantly- taken the booking. I will probably cancel if I get rescued by a nicer gent wanting to see me!

He also asked the whole 'are you single' thing. I replies by saying I am bisexual and I have a woman in my life and see gents for work (something I wouldn't say to anyone unless I knew I could get away with it)

He keeps saying I hope you like sleeping with men like we are going to have an unexpected gangbang! He just means he hopes I like and enjoy sex with guys seeing as I 'live with a woman'....

He is harmless enough, just a young guy wanting fun so I can put up with it as times are tough :) but...

Please, a nice gent... save me!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 21 January 2014, 09:31:54 pm
Just had some guy phone me and say.....................

Him You available now?

Me No sorry, its too late and I am never available now. I also don't meet with men who don't read my profile sorry!

Him Sorry baby I been sitting in all day, no time (doesn't make sense but ok) If you still ok you will like me (never said I was ok at all but ok) I am 29 and I am looking for fun, I am ready to pay!

Me Please don't call me again!

Him OK!

What ever happened to Hi are you available this evening? (even although I am not)  ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 21 January 2014, 09:38:31 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess lin,  k=topic=1637.msg141909#msg141909 date=1390339914
Just had some guy phone me and say.....................

Him You available now?

Me No sorry, its too late and I am never available now. I also don't meet with men who don't read my profile sorry!

Him Sorry baby I been sitting in all day, no time (doesn't make sense but ok) If you still ok you will like me (never said I was ok at all but ok) I am 29 and I am looking for fun, I am ready to pay!

Me Please don't call me again!

Him OK!

What ever happened to Hi are you available this evening? (even although I am not)  ::)

You seem to get all the idiots and weirdos.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 21 January 2014, 10:20:29 pm
I KNOW  :FF Lol but to be fair the past couple of months have been great in the sense where the idiots have been to a minimum for some reason but they seem to be coming back out to play as I have had LOADS of calls and texts from people I have blocked and have had loads of stupid emails and people on the phone.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lou.27 on 21 January 2014, 10:57:40 pm
The meeting with their girlfriend guys seem to be bombarding me at the minute.
After establishing a day to meet, and getting on to him providing my security checks, he then decides to say
Him: you'd be meeting me and another girl called J**** in her mid twenties. I'm happy to face time you right now and you can check me out.
Him: here's a pic of me skiing with my son (whaaat I don't want or need to see you let alone your young child!)
Me: I don't do meets with other women, sorry, my profile clearly states this.
Him: J**** will be ok watching or interacting with me, if that's not your thing
Him: have you got a face pic of yourself

Really wound me up this eve! Maybe my diet is making me grumpy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 21 January 2014, 11:54:17 pm
Are you in Glasgow? If so I was getting emails from a so called couple who happen to escort too, they charge ?300 an hour and ?2000 for the nite and they say their rates are based on the fact that they are VERY ATTRACTIVE...........LOL!!  ::)

I told them I don't do 2 girls then the next thing they asked was if I would just do the girl with the guy watching  ::)

I have been getting the guys asking me to do their girlfriends lately too.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 22 January 2014, 12:50:03 am
Quote from: Indy_Helena on 17 January 2014, 12:31:22 am
During my brief stay in London, I saw many ads on Craigslist. The worst that stood out was "Genuine pimp looking for girls 18+ to make big money. I have rich clients"
Genuine pimp?!   ::)

Ive seen many versions of this "copy pasta" of late ....Seems to be a new trend.
 
These are the  same bunch of guys who christen themselves "Master" and "Dom". They advertise for female subs/slaves that will be "owned and whored out!"...They tend to  have bad profiles with pics ripped off porn sites.

By contrast the "real" Dom/Masters are easy to spot, and are also mostly 30+ , and they look after their subs , and dont whore them out!  .... I don't believe that a man ( boy) can be a "Master" at 18-25 yrs...Not enough experience!! Unfortunately , since "50 shades of grey" sex sites are now swamped with eejts who don't "get it" and dream that a vast number of sub ladies are waiting to be used and abused.  Thankfully 99.9% of submissive women are wise to these "Doms"  and ignore/block.

 I got a similar email  along the lines of "I am your lord and master ! Serve ME ! Email me a naked photo and mob numb at once and you must be wiling to relocate to me , whence i will pimp out your ass and you can serve me 24/7 , Bitch ! "

Most likely culprits are  a group of teenage lads trolling for LOLZ  , or an idiot  who's read 50 shades and thinks his/her new found  "BDSM scene"  gives him the green light to use/abuse people
...50 shades of grey has a lot to answer for.......

( PS -  50 shades is a TERRIBLE trilogy  , dull , repetitive and predictable..  I had to force myself to plunder through it ....Absolute tripe.... Mind you what does one expect from something that started out as "Twilight" fan fiction :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 22 January 2014, 01:29:38 am
Yeah I advertise as a sub and get this now and again. I ignore people like this. Real doms know that they need your permission first before they talk to you like that!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 22 January 2014, 01:34:18 am
Quote from: KimberlyC on 17 January 2014, 10:31:03 pm
I really don't like when they use Whattsapp. I can't really explain why. I use it to talk to two particular people in my life. I don't like other people popping up in it. I also don't like that they can tell when you're online or have been online. I may wish to ignore a message or reply to it later. I don't want them to see that I've seen it.

I am unable to get photos in my texts. I have to log in to some website to view them (and I never do.) So, I'm sort of protected from the dick pics. But Whatsapp is just open for anyone with my phone number to use.

At some point I'll have to better separate my work and private phones and then delete Whatsapp from my work phone.

Could you not disable whats app in the meantime? I was on just the one phone for a while , whch made life difficult..Now I have new smartphone and use it for personal/mates/family ect ...The work phone is a basic one....It would drive me insane if i had chancers sending dick pics and other rubbish.

Id steer clear of these whats apps and all the other "social" stuff on a phone you use for escort work...too much chance of people finding you . Make sure your number isnt on facebook ect .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 22 January 2014, 01:34:54 am
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 22 January 2014, 01:29:38 am
Yeah I advertise as a sub and get this now and again. I ignore people like this. Real doms know that they need your permission first before they talk to you like that!

Exactly :)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 22 January 2014, 02:29:56 pm
On the same lines I get this lovely phone call to start.

Client: Hi I've seen your profile on adultwork are you free to talk?

Me: Of course honey, how can I help

Client: first of all you do not call me honey, you call me sir. I like to be called sir from the outset. Do you understand slut?

Me: Actually I only become submissive once in the meeting.

Client: BYE! *click*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 22 January 2014, 02:36:32 pm
Quote from: ClaireJayne on 20 January 2014, 08:42:12 am
Haha!

How about this! 

'I was going to try and arrange a booking with you as you seem like an interesting lady to meet but it looks like your rates go up on a weekly basis. I hadn't realised that we live in Zimbabwe. Where's it going to end? Don't wish to be a cheap skate but not all punters out there are investment bankers or hedge fund managers. You seem to have moved from being good value to premium pricing in 4 weeks. I guess I'll just need to look for cheaper options as you'll soon be ?200/hr'

I was going to write that he sent a nice email apologising, which is did and I was somewhat surprised by his apology but it was short lived as he set up another account and sent me a vile email, so now the twat has 5 aliases.....wank stain.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvy_girl on 22 January 2014, 02:53:06 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 22 January 2014, 02:29:56 pm
On the same lines I get this lovely phone call to start.

Client: Hi I've seen your profile on adultwork are you free to talk?

Me: Of course honey, how can I help

Client: first of all you do not call me honey, you call me sir. I like to be called sir from the outset. Do you understand slut?

Me: Actually I only become submissive once in the meeting.

Client: BYE! *click*

I bet it was the same douche I had.

I wonder how many he will get through before he or they realize how stupid they are and how no girl in her right mind is going to respond that that crap in that way. Its just totally disrespectful before the booking!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 22 January 2014, 03:40:27 pm
I am thinking of moving house - into the country where no one can hear the screams of these men as I throw em into a snake pit and leave them there for 24 hours minimum .... Their crime? To have sent any wg a stupid text message lol, mind u in fairness it would want to be a very large snake pit hahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 22 January 2014, 03:44:46 pm
Another fuckwad today as well

Him: Hi can I make a booking for 1 hour?
Me: Scratching my head, is that a one hr booking or a booking for an hours time? It's 2.30 at this point...
Him: Well a one hour booking, in about an hour and a half's time
Me: ok well my next available appointment is 5 pm, would you like that time?
Him: No can I have it at 4.pm
Me : No I said my next available appointment is 5pm,
Him: Oh so your not free at 4.pm
Me: Oh fuck off you head wrecking twunt and hangs up lol

another one for my snake pit.......
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyLady on 24 January 2014, 05:39:08 pm
Words actually fail me!  ???

I have been longing to have my penis amputated as a sexual punishment
but i have been too scared to cut it myself. I am a fit and good
looking guy in my thirties. I could not control myself from
ejaculation whatever i did so i decided some years ago to pay a woman
in the Philippines to amputate me and cut off the problem. I first
tried to tie a thin wire extremely tight around the dickhead so all
orgasms became unpleasant painful but it did not stop me. My orgasms
felt like a scissor when my dick contracted and spayed but once it
started it was to late. It was very painful. I started to ejaculate by
myself after some days and always a lot even without touching my penis
at all so finally i got ashamed and tired to have erection in the
public and get a lot of semen in my pants, bed and so on so put my
erected penis in front of a filipina woman on a table. She first tied
the base of the penis very hard, put anesthesia lotion, hold the
dickhead tight and suddenly cut it off with a razorblade sharp knife.

Since five years my head is gone and about half of the shaft. I cant
ejaculate any semen and sperm at all anymore. Its impossible but my
cock is still standing hard and i still feel the strong need to spray
but its comportable to continuously be controlled and now be able to
behave. Before i could not think about anything else but sexy women,
their pussies and to make them pregnant but now i started to change
the way i think and look at women. That is good and respectful.

Before my penis was 18 centimeter and now its 6 centimeter when
erected. I want to meet a domina / mistress to have a session with
(email if possible to begin with) who can give me sexual massage and
handjobs. Its a punishment cause i cant cum but that is the best part
of it. Its real humiliation. Please let me know if that is okay for
you.

I will attach a few photos of how my penis look before the partial
penectomy but do not open them if you dont like to look at a big hard
erected cock. If you are interested to look at photos of how my
erected penis look now when its amputated then write to me


Of course I'll be writing for the rest of the photos  :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 24 January 2014, 06:38:28 pm
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??????????????????????????????????
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 24 January 2014, 07:12:06 pm
Oh Dear Lord.  :-X

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 24 January 2014, 07:34:57 pm
Had MY legs crossed at that post, think that wins post of the week
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 24 January 2014, 09:34:00 pm
"I noticed you did discounts over the Christmas period, will you do 30 mins for ?40 now?"

"morning slut blablahblah, Sir" -Via text-I don't care if I advertise sub, you do not talk to me that way before the actual meeting.

"will you do me a bj for a tenner to cheer me up babe?"

 :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 25 January 2014, 05:19:09 pm
This is over the past 3 days...my head is about to explode.
1 call asking me to do an outcall in Windsor,1 call asking me to outcall in Northumberland (I'm in Leeds).
1 call asking me for an outcall in a private address with 30 mins notice (I don't do private addresses and I don't have a magic carpet)
Booking arranged for today (30 mins)...can he have 3 cums and can I give him a discount as he is driving from Manchester and it will cost him fuelwise...he then denied haggling when I told him to do one...wtf?!?
Guy rings for 30 mins tonight then proceeds to ask 20 questions when I ask him where he got my number he says a.w but that he only looked at the pics.Goes on to say he is new and didn't know what to do...er have a read of the info you scrolled past to get the number?!?
Tells me he has rung 3 other girls and they got irritated with his questions and put the phone down...well imagine that
..ffs!
And my last call to date, wanted to book a 30 min for the 31st,ok can you ring a little nearer the time please...yeah er how much is 30 mins and what do you do...yep he got my number from a.w knows feck all about me but wants to advance book me...its been utterly crap past few days.I hate January!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: India597 on 26 January 2014, 09:35:51 pm
I got the below email today, it made me laugh  :D i dont do roleplay only straightforward gfe, if he had bothered to read my profile he would know  :FF  i didnt reply

Wow, you look stunning from your profile. I am a mid 30's white professional male fit and quite good looking. Are you up to meet for some sexy hot roleplay? as I have a meeting close to Leeds this week. I was thinking I could be Tarzan bare chested with my manhood sticking out of my loincloth for you to see. You could be my sexy jane in the jungle almost naked with the leaves brushing against your soft pussy, making you wet and horny for tarzan. I'll fight off the tribesmen to protect your honour sweating and writhing in the dirt with my hard cock on display. You could then reward your wounded champion by holding the tip of my cock and leading me to your bed where we can indulge in primitive sensuality as I gently nuzzle my manhood against your sensitive hot pussy lips and kiss the nape of your neck..........Does this roleplay/fantasy sound suitable for us to meet. What do you think?


 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 26 January 2014, 11:35:28 pm
I had a right good wee giggle to myself reading that. I just wonder what goes through some of their heads. Each to their own but really? Lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Chanel xxx on 26 January 2014, 11:37:59 pm
Quote from: India597 on 26 January 2014, 09:35:51 pm
I got the below email today, it made me laugh  :D i dont do roleplay only straightforward gfe, if he had bothered to read my profile he would know  :FF  i didnt reply

Wow, you look stunning from your profile. I am a mid 30's white professional male fit and quite good looking. Are you up to meet for some sexy hot roleplay? as I have a meeting close to Leeds this week. I was thinking I could be Tarzan bare chested with my manhood sticking out of my loincloth for you to see. You could be my sexy jane in the jungle almost naked with the leaves brushing against your soft pussy, making you wet and horny for tarzan. I'll fight off the tribesmen to protect your honour sweating and writhing in the dirt with my hard cock on display. You could then reward your wounded champion by holding the tip of my cock and leading me to your bed where we can indulge in primitive sensuality as I gently nuzzle my manhood against your sensitive hot pussy lips and kiss the nape of your neck..........Does this roleplay/fantasy sound suitable for us to meet. What do you think?

Lol bareback much?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 27 January 2014, 01:04:24 am
I laughed at the leaves thing. Thats exactly what would turn me on. Racing past the fearnes!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: India597 on 27 January 2014, 12:06:04 pm
@ Chanel, i dont offer bareback. Even for Tarzan.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 27 January 2014, 12:20:07 pm
Quote from: India597 on 26 January 2014, 09:35:51 pm
I'll fight off the tribesmen to protect your honour sweating and writhing in the dirt with my hard cock on display.

So he wants you to have an Orgy in a field as well as wear a leaf?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MM3 on 27 January 2014, 12:43:12 pm
Got this lovely email with a bonus of a picture of penis attached :

''Hi Lea babe,

Was wondering if you did fetishes like  ballbusting? Would really love you to do it to me. Only lightly (still want kids) :) but few hard ones as I have a fetish of sexy girls dominating me by ballbusting. Includes, Kicking, kneeing and squeezing of the balls. I would also really love your sexy arse to crush my balls if you can. We can do little games like you on top of me and your breast on my cock, the harder I get, the harder you squeeze my balls.

I'm also willing to give bonus if you make me give up in set amount of time from busting my balls. You can keep pounding or let me recover after each hit. Hope you can do this and if you are capable to bring me to my knees, also make me give up lol.

Can't wait for a blow-job.

Amazing pictures of yourself. It's scintilatingly beautiful. Wow, just wow. For that, I'll give one to, Hope you like it. You can guess what I'm doing now ;)

Can't wait for your reply.


Cheers xxx''


Yes, I certainly can quess what was he doing then.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dexi Delite on 28 January 2014, 09:37:07 am
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 14 April 2013, 09:50:14 am
Quote from: Coty on 14 April 2013, 02:49:20 am
Not only have I had Hi....my name's Phil, this week but I've gained another one who has text me 10 times now. I replied 3 times. 1st answering his question...2nd and 3rd times telling him he's asked before. Since then I've ignored it.  So who else has had...........Hi how are you? I'm Michael (sometimes Mick, sometimes Micky) age 28 you mind me having a speech problem? Just mild.

I had someone the other day claim to have a speech problem, when I asked what type of speech problem and how severe they replied with "Its ok I can understand you", great he can understand me (how he knew this via text I dont know), but doesnt answer  my question or say if I would be able to understand him.

Think its an idiot doing the rounds lol



He's still at it by the looks of things.  I just received a text this morning.  No name given this time though.  I did think about replying, and then remembered there was a thread on here somewhere about this.  The text I got may very well be genuine, but as I only take bookings by phone this could prove difficult, as I am not willing to be lax on my own rules.   
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 28 January 2014, 09:45:04 am
He texted me last night! I would have replied but it was late by the time I saw it.

I mean, I would have said "No, I don't mind." I felt sort of mean about not replying but I don't answer texts that late.

Having gone back in this thread and read other posts about him, I am glad I didn't reply. Will just ignore.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 28 January 2014, 06:08:25 pm
Just got an email saying..................

Can I suck your toes and lick your asshole  ::)

Erm both foot fetish and rimming receiving is on my likes list so there was no need for you to send me such a crude message. I hate how some people think that just cause we're escorts that, that's the sort of way we appreciate being spoken to and approached, not even a hello. Do they actually think I am going to respond to that in a serious manner where I am then going to ask them if they would like to book me? No chance!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sassy Slapper on 28 January 2014, 06:42:29 pm
Love it. Guy I gave a 2nd chance too after no showing me last night came along for a 45 minute. One ass feel and a blow job later (27 minutes later) he sits up on the side of the bed and has the nerve to say "shall we call it half an hour then?"?errr hahaha


"you can call it what you want luvvy but I dont do refunds" ?priceless x  ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 29 January 2014, 11:32:20 am
Hello baby, how are you baby? Can I see you today baby?

And they wonder why the phone goes down  ::) Wheres the vomit button where we need one?

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amethyst on 30 January 2014, 08:31:34 pm
Just for laughs, I expect this was a typo but still in this industry you never know!  :)

Message today:

Can I book you in advance for Wednesday... I will confirm bonking on Tuesday afternoon, many thanks.

Lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 30 January 2014, 08:57:31 pm
Lol defo a typo error as his message seems very polite x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amethyst on 30 January 2014, 09:06:37 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 30 January 2014, 08:57:31 pm
Lol defo a typo error as his message seems very polite x

Yes he was polite but seemed a bit of a cheeky chappy so who knows!  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 31 January 2014, 12:34:33 pm
Had a guy ask me every single thing that is actually written on my advert and then ask if who he was speaking to was the girl in the photos...and then he asked if I was 'good'. I lost it at this point and said 'Nope I'm shit now would you like to actually read what the advert says and then if you actually have any sensible questions or you want to actually book then ring me?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: carachameleon on 01 February 2014, 03:35:05 pm
I received this hilarious TW emailed awhile ago. Back when I was still a noob, I stupidly exchanged 37 emails with this wanker...

"Was wondering you were open to being a ghostbuster that got banged by a ghost? Dress you up in a sexy ghostbusters costume. Fill the bath tub full of green bathing gel like it's slime? And when sexy ghostbuster cara comes in, casper the horny ghost covered in green "slime" gets her uniform off, covers her in green bathing gel and has his nasty ghostly way with her. She gets totally covered by the green "slime". Hair, tits ass everything. What do you think?

Up for getting it on with a ghost?"

It follows with...

"Yeah. Wondering what's your body like. Nice and firm? Rock hard abs? round perky tits that casper will have fun mauling with his slimy hands? Heck babe, the moment you walk into the bathroom is when the slime comes down on you and you get covered in the stuff. Might get you into the tub of slime too. Think you can pull off the sexy protesting squeals of a ghostbuster who ain't happy to have to suck casper's dick? And she gets even more upset when she gets "raped" by a ghost and covered in slime. You up for that babe?

If you are then I'm looking forward to a slimy time with you."

And...

"Well babe. I got some fake glasses just in case you don't want your real ones to get "slimed" Just trying to figure out what should you wear underneath the uniform. A nice thong perhaps? Got anything you don't mind being slimed in? Sliming happens pretty much at the beginning. groping and stripping to follow. More groping and sliming. squeals of protest and so on. Lots of slime on you when you have to give head. Even more in the tub of slime when casper shows how "friendly" he is.

That all good?"

Plus..

"Was just thinking, if I can't get the uniform.Maybe we can change the fantasy to something else. I remember seeing those old kids shows where contestants have things dumped on them like water and stuff. And in some cases, it was slime. (let's face it for this session you'll be getting slimed no matter what the fantasy is). Except for this case, the consequences for our contestant are much more severe. Each wrong answer leads to having something dumped on her followed by a groping by the host and the loss of one item of clothing until almost everything is gone. Penalties included having to give head (of course) while being slimed and of course the "ultimate" penalty. Do you have some kind of long track pants you don't mind having slime poured into? Like you said I have a vivid imagination, and right now I'm imagining slime going everywhere!

Of course all this is just a thought in case I can't get the uniform. What size are you? You look like an s or an m."

Seriously?

"2 hour session. How many times do you think the ghostbuster will allow casper to rape her? Casper's planning on taking viagra so she might get well and truly fucked before she gets away. No complaints?"

Wtf was I thinking?! When I finally called his bluff, he ends with "Thanks for the attitude. Guess I'll be saving money then".

 :FF

And he completely destroyed Casper for me :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 01 February 2014, 08:38:20 pm
That is the funniest shit I've ever read!

And... you entertained this idea? How much green shower gel are we talking about here? ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Leicesterlass on 01 February 2014, 08:50:35 pm
I can't even begin to imagine the havoc that would wreak down below! OMG I would not be able to pee for a week lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 01 February 2014, 09:30:22 pm
Is there green slime on his cock when you suck it?  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 01 February 2014, 10:28:56 pm
OMG a slime fetish........ive heard it all now  ::)

Just out of curiosity, was the raping BB by any chance?

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: carachameleon on 02 February 2014, 01:17:02 am
Quote from: KimberlyC on 01 February 2014, 08:38:20 pm
That is the funniest shit I've ever read!

And... you entertained this idea? How much green shower gel are we talking about here? ;D

Apparently a whole bathtub worth of slime

Quote from: KimberlyC on 01 February 2014, 09:30:22 pm
Is there green slime on his cock when you suck it?  :D

Yes!  :o

Quote from: Pink~Princess on 01 February 2014, 10:28:56 pm
OMG a slime fetish........ive heard it all now  ::)

Just out of curiosity, was the raping BB by any chance?

xx

Thankfully, he never mentioned BB.

Looking back at it now, I feel so silly reading through the thread. I can't believe I spent even a minute on this eejit.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: retrogal on 02 February 2014, 11:55:17 am

Recieved this email last night.....

Are you free for an incall, but can you pick me up?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 02 February 2014, 01:37:24 pm
Quote from: retrogal on 02 February 2014, 11:55:17 am

Recieved this email last night.....

Are you free for an incall, but can you pick me up?

Hahahahahahaha x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lunar Moon on 02 February 2014, 06:43:24 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 02 February 2014, 01:37:24 pm
Quote from: retrogal on 02 February 2014, 11:55:17 am

Recieved this email last night.....

Are you free for an incall, but can you pick me up?

Hahahahahahaha x

Never ceases to amaze me what you are asked lol

Had a call yesterday :  " Would like to meet you this week " ME " Yes that would be nice" and gave him my working days etc.  He says " Ok thanks just one more thing" ME " Yes " .....

HIM " I would like it for free if that's ok "

CALL ENDED  ;D :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 02 February 2014, 06:46:47 pm
For free? Does he think you are running a charity for the sexually deprived?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 02 February 2014, 09:07:19 pm
Quote from: Lunar Moon on 02 February 2014, 06:43:24 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 02 February 2014, 01:37:24 pm
Quote from: retrogal on 02 February 2014, 11:55:17 am

Recieved this email last night.....

Are you free for an incall, but can you pick me up?

Hahahahahahaha x

Never ceases to amaze me what you are asked lol

Had a call yesterday :  " Would like to meet you this week " ME " Yes that would be nice" and gave him my working days etc.  He says " Ok thanks just one more thing" ME " Yes " .....

HIM " I would like it for free if that's ok "

CALL ENDED  ;D :FF

Obviously that was just a wind up call, no way that was genuine.

Whats funny is the guys that make these crazy requests who actually mean what they say and don't realise how mental/cringey/fucked up they sound x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lunar Moon on 03 February 2014, 07:45:48 am
Actually it wasn't, the guy was a youngster (but polite and well spoken) trying to get some free lessons I guess lol .....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 03 February 2014, 09:14:27 pm
Just had a total random call me obnoxious 

Granted I probably am when complete mornons ruffle my feathers.

Guy wants to know if I am ?80

I say no I am not and I don't meet those who don't read my profile.

He says, I just need to know how much to take out the bank.

I say you don't even have an appointment with me so please leave me alone.

He say's my god are you always this obnoxious?

Uuuuuummmm yes I am always this obnoxious when I am sitting minding my own business and some random guy thinkgs he can just nip to the bank and turn up to my house (without an address or any correspondence what so ever and without any notice what so ever) at 9pm at nite??

So I say yes I am this obnoxious when I have people text me as if they have spoken to me when I haven't a clue who they are who thinks they can just drop round at my house. I am only interested in meeting with normal people who follow my simple instructions.

He then says I am bonkers.

Am I bonkers?? Is this how someone thinks they get a booking? Am I doing something wrong?

 xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 05 February 2014, 09:43:23 pm
OK so I know we shouldn't bite but sometimes you cant help yourself. I have had some amount of numpty's on the phone and text today.

Received a text 2 mins ago saying...........................

Him: You free for BJ babe? x
Me: Fuck off creep!

Someone else started a thread today about the amount of idiots she's had today and I have to say, I've had my fair share too. God knows how many phone calls I have had today and I think I have only entertained 2 of those.   :FF

Tomorrow is a new day  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 06 February 2014, 12:25:51 pm
Just had the creepiest sounding guy ever (gave me shudders & I think he was Irish) phone and say............

Me: Hello
Him: Incall
Me: Sorry, what?
Him: Do you do incall?
Me: Yes
Him: Can you send me your address?
Me: No chance.....phone down  ::)

Really do these types really expect you to say sure of course I will text you it right now?

Luckily I am fully booked again today and can probably do without answering the phone x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 07 February 2014, 11:29:06 am
Some dick wad made a booking then asked walking distance from station, i said about 10 minutes his response was 'that's just ridiculous, you can't expect clients to walk that far (ummm bus) then asked if there was a way I could see him closer to the station......

Sure, how about in the street!   Since when is a 10 min walk to far lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 07 February 2014, 04:10:52 pm
Lol why not jump in a cab then? A ten minute walking journey is hardly gonna break the bank in a cab.

I often have guys say similar things to me, I am a 10 minute walk from central station and some think its too far despite the fact there is 2 taxi ranks outside the station and loads of taxi's all over the place that they could flag down or worst case they could just walk  ::)

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 07 February 2014, 04:36:48 pm
He sent back a response saying I was not set up to cater to the serious punter (a word I detest, I prefer client) and perhaps if I was more thoughtful in regards to where I lived I would not have missed out on ?120.....so I shot back with, actually my fee is ?150 and now I have a clear picture of why you need to pay for sex.

Dead today otherwise, not even a phone call....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 07 February 2014, 06:07:11 pm
Quote from: Vivienne on 07 February 2014, 11:29:06 am
Some dick wad made a booking then asked walking distance from station, i said about 10 minutes his response was 'that's just ridiculous, you can't expect clients to walk that far (ummm bus) then asked if there was a way I could see him closer to the station......

Sure, how about in the street!   Since when is a 10 min walk to far lol

Thats ridiculous even I will walk 10 minutes and I'm fat, lazy and Scottish lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 07 February 2014, 06:36:09 pm
Quote from: Vivienne on 07 February 2014, 04:36:48 pm
He sent back a response saying I was not set up to cater to the serious punter (a word I detest, I prefer client) and perhaps if I was more thoughtful in regards to where I lived I would not have missed out on ?120.....so I shot back with, actually my fee is ?150 and now I have a clear picture of why you need to pay for sex.

Dead today otherwise, not even a phone call....

And these are the "punters" that moan about our attitudes. Do they honestly think that we would ever want to invite them (a complete stranger) into our homes to engage in something so personal and intimate after speaking to us like that??  ::)

Obviously not all clients NEED to pay for sex, most have wives and girlfriends so many just do it cause they can and want to or for the thrill of it BUT some really do NEED to pay for it cause they have fuck all going for them looks and personality wise and like you said this guy is clearly that type.

So you dodged a bullet hunni  :D

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 07 February 2014, 06:36:55 pm
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 07 February 2014, 06:07:11 pm
Quote from: Vivienne on 07 February 2014, 11:29:06 am
Some dick wad made a booking then asked walking distance from station, i said about 10 minutes his response was 'that's just ridiculous, you can't expect clients to walk that far (ummm bus) then asked if there was a way I could see him closer to the station......

Sure, how about in the street!   Since when is a 10 min walk to far lol

Thats ridiculous even I will walk 10 minutes and I'm fat, lazy and Scottish lol.

Hahahahaha, I am Scottish too and a bit lazy I guess as I get taxi's everywhere x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 07 February 2014, 07:40:05 pm
Just had a day of it today!A chap booked in for 30 mins at 5pm but claimed although he was able to get my number he couldn't get anything else cos of adult filtering on his p.c....hmmmm.
Anyway got him booked in and as he said he was coming by car sent him the address of where to park up...he then said he was coming by taxi as he couldn't drive.Next he asked if he could smoke and drink in my flat..er no!
Then he moved the time on by an hour then he cancelled.
Next my friend recommended me to a bloke as she was not available...he said I was too young being in my early twenties.I'm 35 and my ads clearly state this my photos are not photoshopped either.
Last call was a bloke obviously driving asking me to describe what i look like and how big my tits are despite there being pics on my ad...see the girl and the tits in the pic?Thats me that is!Do you need my actual chest size so you can buy me a bra?!?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 07 February 2014, 08:29:36 pm
I'd have cancelled the 5pm guy long before he got the chance to cancel me.

The guy that was recommended, I'd just much rather meet with actual clients who have been attracted to MY profile, read MY profile, accepted whats on it then phoned ME for a booking.

The guy that wants to talk about tit size would have got hung up on the second he said something I didn't like the sound of. All info and stats are on my profile, as are yours in this occasion.

You must be a better woman than me  ::)

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 07 February 2014, 09:13:20 pm
I played along with 5pm boy cos I knew he was a tosser and I didn't have anything else booked in for that time.
I don't mind people recommending me and he was pointed to my profile to look but he clearly thought I was lying and 3rd bloke did get a 'Sorry but I'm not describing myself its not The Sport is UkBelles is it?There is pics!.Am sort of in a yeah whatever kind of mood today rather than a bugger off kind of mood.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 07 February 2014, 09:18:50 pm
Oh and all are forever known as tw on my phone or maybe thats the polite word....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 07 February 2014, 09:39:27 pm
"Im looking for a bj only, how much would that cost, for tonight?"

Same guy that recently asked for a bj for ?20 and when he didn't get a response asked for 30 minute for ?40.

How frikken difficult is it to read a profile as well as get it through your head the fee is not per service?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 07 February 2014, 11:12:00 pm
Hannah are you in Glasgow? Cause I have a guy that asks the exact same thing and doesn't seem to get the hint when he's actually told to go fuck himself for ?20 x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 08 February 2014, 03:42:58 am
Guy on the phone yesterday wanted to make a booking that evening. I advised I was outcall only. He agrees and says he will send his address. He then keeps texting me for my address. I told him I was outcall only but he says he wants to see me at mine as he doesn't want a prossie in his house and he thought that I would be a cooperative little slut. Put down number in my phone as ignore. Then he calls me the next day from a different number. I tell him I cannot talk as I am in tesco. He's asking which Tesco as we can fuck in the carpark. I'm so glad I have met more great and respectful people. If I had to deal with morons like this everyday I would explode.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 08 February 2014, 10:39:18 am
How do you know it was the same guy HHJJ?? Yeah I am the same, I need to think of all my great clients to get through otherwise I would spontaneously combust too.

Just had a guy phone me at 10am wanting to know if I am available right now  ::)

On a normal day I don't start till 11 and on a Saturday its 12 and if I am sitting doing nothing with NO clients booked in then I need at the very least an hours notice to get ready and prepared for meeting someone and I just don't know how much clearer to be on my profile? Why do they assume we're sitting in our underwear 24/7 in a flat somewhere?? Granted there are plenty of escorts who do work like that and plenty of escorts that can be ready at very short notice but I really do like to make the effort to look my best, to be freshly showered and to set the mood in my work room so it just doesn't work for me sitting by the phone, its bad enough doing it on tour. Even on tour, I still require notice of probably at least a half hour since I am sitting around waiting on the phone ringing.

Anyway I am fully booked for today, thankfully. I've been fully booked all week all but 1 appointment on Wednesday I think so luckily for me I haven't had to deal with the phone much but this has been a really bad week for morons on the phone/text/email  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 08 February 2014, 01:15:35 pm
He introduced himself and asked if I remembered him so he wasnt trying to hide the fact that he was calling from another number.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amethyst on 08 February 2014, 03:08:30 pm
Have had a right influx of oddball texts today, all from different guys.

1. Hey baby u wana c my big cock then
2. Hi.
3. Premier Inn h*** street can you call down? (I'm incalls only but yes I'll just pop over on a day I'm not working and not even in the same town)
4. Could use good sex how much baby
5. Would u gold shower me n pussy fart in me face

My response to 1. was - I see plenty of those I doubt yours is so special. The rest I've ignored :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wanton Harlot on 08 February 2014, 04:35:38 pm
Quote from: Nanako on 27 January 2011, 12:12:12 pm
I had a client today who booked a few days ago.

He turned up, came in, then about 20 seconds later complained that he'd left his wallet in the car and ran out to get it. I made sure he didn't steal anything on the way out, which was smart because he never came back :(

He texted later that he'd lost it and had to cancel, but doesn't seem to be replying to an offer to reschedule


I have had that happen quite a few times, so now I just smile and say to them, look its ok, if you don't fancy me, they argue and say, its not that I will be right back, I say yeah sure hun, then lock the door behind them. Though once I et a guy in, was about to direct him to the bedroom, when he took out the ?100 fee then promptly left wtf lmfao
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 08 February 2014, 05:59:02 pm
I've never had a walk out but I imagine it would be really hurtful if you take things to heart like I do  :-\

However I would much rather someone walked out than stayed to spare my feelings as that would surely be worse. I'd hate for anyone to be grossed out by me.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 08 February 2014, 06:02:09 pm
Quote from: Amethyst on 08 February 2014, 03:08:30 pm
Have had a right influx of oddball texts today, all from different guys.

1. Hey baby u wana c my big cock then
2. Hi.
3. Premier Inn h*** street can you call down? (I'm incalls only but yes I'll just pop over on a day I'm not working and not even in the same town)
4. Could use good sex how much baby
5. Would u gold shower me n pussy fart in me face

My response to 1. was - I see plenty of those I doubt yours is so special. The rest I've ignored :)

I am so glad I am not the only one that gets these kind of texts, I just wonder what the hell goes through their heads? Do they expect a positive response? Surely they must eventually get a positive response or there wouldn't be so many of them sending stupid or pointless texts.

Even message number 2, whats that all about? Lol I always get texts saying hey or how r u and I have never spoken to these people in my life. They totally misuse the phone number that's displayed on our profiles.

Oh well  ::)

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 08 February 2014, 06:32:43 pm
Just had a proper ned (chav) on the phone asking if I am ?100 for the half hour then after I confirmed that was the case, he then said does that mean I get to do what I want?.........Um no it doesn't mean that, goodbye  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 08 February 2014, 08:01:50 pm
Some of these guys I almost want to tell them "You were so close! You almost got it right! And then you went and said something dumb."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 10 February 2014, 04:32:10 am
PP, I'm based near Manchester.  I'm sure he has nothing better to do with his time!

My latest:

"Hi do you do hardsports? if you're unsure what they are, what I am after is shitting in each others mouths and then chewing and eating each others shit." ...Just..ew?

"Hi would you do sex no condom if I pull out wank and finish elsewhere?"

Why yes, I'd love to put myself at risk of STI's and pregnancy!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 10 February 2014, 09:20:30 am
That's just disgusting, whats wrong with some people? x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: vixen viki on 10 February 2014, 07:11:14 pm
I recently changed my name/phone number etc and made a new AW profile to try and get rid of a stalker so it looks like I'm new again, but all my regulars know who I am etc. but anyway, today I got this message:

completetosser: i dont like your list of services
me: thats fine, don't try and book me then
completetosser: how to do you expect to make any money if thats all you offer
me: I've been escorting for 4 years, I know what my regulars like and I know the things that no one ever asks for, so theres no point in putting that stuff on my list. If someone wants to discuss doing something thats not on my list they can do so
completetosser: YOU CLEARLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE DOING
me: actually, I think you'll find I know exactly what I'm doing and the kind of clients I want to attract, but thanks for your concern.
completetosser: Oh, well I might be interested in a booking now
me: no.

Its nice that he's so concerned about how business is going  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 10 February 2014, 07:45:51 pm
Just had a guy email me for a booking, told me when he worked and asked me to add him on facebook  ::)

Normally I would ignore something like this but I just emailed him back saying that he needs to understand the client-escort relationship and realise that any normal escort would not want clients on their facebook amongst their family and friends. I also pointed out that if he doesn't care for his own discretion then he definitely wont care for mine and that doesn't sit well with me so I wont be meeting with him  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 10 February 2014, 07:59:20 pm
Quote from: vixen viki on 10 February 2014, 07:11:14 pm
I recently changed my name/phone number etc and made a new AW profile to try and get rid of a stalker so it looks like I'm new again, but all my regulars know who I am etc. but anyway, today I got this message:

completetosser: i dont like your list of services
me: thats fine, don't try and book me then
completetosser: how to do you expect to make any money if thats all you offer
me: I've been escorting for 4 years, I know what my regulars like and I know the things that no one ever asks for, so theres no point in putting that stuff on my list. If someone wants to discuss doing something thats not on my list they can do so
completetosser: YOU CLEARLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE DOING
me: actually, I think you'll find I know exactly what I'm doing and the kind of clients I want to attract, but thanks for your concern.
completetosser: Oh, well I might be interested in a booking now
me: no.

Its nice that he's so concerned about how business is going  ::)

Sounds like a client of mine lol, they're constantly going on how I should be a Mistress as thats where the money is, that if I only Escort I will still be doing it when I'm 60.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 11 February 2014, 12:58:20 pm
Just had a new user on AW (well October 2013 I think but has no feedback) ask me to rim him along with other services I don't do so I sent him an email back saying that I don't see anyone that doesn't read my profile and that I wonder what it was about my profile that would make him think I would be up for licking his arsehole? Pointed out that I offer limited services because I like to keep myself clean and safe and this is the response I got................

Wow don't get your knickers in a twist! You ask what makes me think you would rim me?? .....You have rimming(receiving) on your profile so you obviously dont object to someones tongue in your arsehole! Also you are selling your services on here and im sure you have been asked to and carried out many a vulgar sexual act for money. You can tell me you're clean all day long but how many cocks have you had in your mouth this year!

His usernames KarmaKool for anyone in Glasgow or Scotland in general who may want to avoid him. And how the fuck does rimming receiving mean I would be up for giving it too? If clients want to rim me, that's completely up to them but my choice is NOT to tongue someones arsehole FFS!! Terrible attitude and someone you would never want to be alone with IMO!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 11 February 2014, 02:21:57 pm
Why do you even reply?

At most, if the email is politely worded I may politely say "Thank you for writing but that's not the sort of thing I do. Good luck finding someone who meets your needs. :)"

But I don't want to waste precious energy on anything negative. They haven't paid money for my time. Also, you never know when you'll poke a hornets' nest and end up with some angry jerk targeting you for ongoing abuse.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 11 February 2014, 02:28:21 pm
Quote from: KimberlyC on 11 February 2014, 02:21:57 pm
Why do you even reply?

At most, if the email is politely worded I may politely say "Thank you for writing but that's not the sort of thing I do. Good luck finding someone who meets your needs. :)"

But I don't want to waste precious energy on anything negative. They haven't paid money for my time. Also, you never know when you'll poke a hornets' nest and end up with some angry jerk targeting you for ongoing abuse.
Totally agree, I shouldn't have replied and I don't usually but I aint gonna lie, sometimes I just cant help myself.

Its a disgrace how some of them tar us all with the same brush and assume that because we're selling services that we MUST have done many vulgar things for money (his words) anyone who knows me or who has tried to get a booking with me and failed will know that I never step out of my boundaries for no amount of money.

And to slag me off by saying how can I be clean with the amount of cocks I have had in my mouth just made him look every more like a total wank as I don't offer OWO to ANYONE even if I have seen them 50+ times  ::)

Just sheer ignorance and disrespect is all it is and I am so glad that I don't meet with folk like that.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 11 February 2014, 02:55:28 pm
I've had the 'can I do anything' query.

I said depends what you mean by anything, I do this and don't do that.

Another enquirer asked for strap-on service, I explained that isn't something I offer, he then said he'd seen prostate massage on my list of services, and thought that might indicate strap-on was on offer.

Nope, gentle massage yes, even small anal probe yes, ramming a full sized dildo in intercourse fashion, nope. He was fine and went on his merry way looking for someone who could meet his requirements.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: scarlettsin on 12 February 2014, 07:32:19 am
Ladies, it has taken me an hour or so a day for a few weeks now, but I've done it. I've read all 35k replies on this thread!

I definitely don't feel as alone now; I've been escorting since June 2012 and I've probably had all of these emails twice! I'll be posting some I got this morning when I can actually sit down for five minutes!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 14 February 2014, 05:02:35 pm
Me:Hello
Tit:Hiya can I come see you at 5pm?
Me:Yes thats fine how long are you wanting to see me?
Tit:Er an hour.
Me:Ok have I seen you before?
Tit:Yeah its Bibi or whatever isn't it?
Me:Yes its Bibi although it does say that on my ads lol....are you sure we have met before?
Tit:Er I think we have.
Tit:I'll ring you in abit I need to make sure I can do 5pm
Me:Wouldn't it be better to only actually ring if you are sure in the first place?
Tit:Yeah I suppose so.
Me:Ok so basically I'll continue to book other people in who are more definate then...bye!

This guy was not saved on my phone and history logs show he has never called me before lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 14 February 2014, 07:06:14 pm
Lol bibi I have guys phone me all the time thinking that we've met before simply because I have long dark hair. Its funny how it hasn't occurred to them that there IS more than 1 brunette in Glasgow  ::) xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ScarletWoman on 15 February 2014, 05:06:39 pm
Has anyone else noticed that the ones who text "is that <your name>?" never show up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MaddieMoo on 15 February 2014, 05:41:34 pm
Emails on AW...

Twit: Hi. How do I go about a booking?
Me: Have you read my profile?  (??? Or ya know, he could just ask for a booking)
Twit: I have read profile but im sure most men don't come here to read word to word profiles. if theres something iv missed. enlighten me plz ( :FF Cheeky git)
Me: The big tab that says "getting in touch" is useful.
Twit: ok, I guess you don't do incalls then

First thing you see on my profile at the top in bold is "Outcall dates:..... Incall dates and locations:...." Maybe he just couldn't be arsed to write "in manchester then." Oh just what. I'm so tired of this rubbish today. I'm pretty sure men SHOULD come on there to read my profile "word to word" as you wouldn't buy something without knowing what you're getting. "I'm after a pineappple, I shall pick up anything in the shop and hope it's a pineapple." Numpty.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 15 February 2014, 07:15:19 pm
Quote from: Amber_Chelt on 15 February 2014, 05:06:39 pm
Has anyone else noticed that the ones who text "is that <your name>?" never show up.

I no longer reply to that type of text message.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 16 February 2014, 03:35:31 am
And just in now via email....

my g/f is in bed a sleep im horny and want you to come to my house now, i want to sneak you inside so we cheat on my g/f, in will pay ?60 upfront then whatever as we go along, my address is 31 ****** dewsbury, *****


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MaddieMoo on 16 February 2014, 12:57:51 pm
Quote from: bibi on 16 February 2014, 03:35:31 am
And just in now via email....

my g/f is in bed a sleep im horny and want you to come to my house now, i want to sneak you inside so we cheat on my g/f, in will pay ?60 upfront then whatever as we go along, my address is 31 ****** dewsbury, *****




If he was for real, that is awful!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 16 February 2014, 01:11:21 pm
I mean if that guy was for real..where the hell do you start? The fact he emailed me in the wee small hours of the morning offering me half my outcall rate to go to Dewsbury, the fact he had his full name and address on the email (if they are real) or the fact he wants to shag women while his poor gf is upstairs asleep. I really wanted to email back and say something sarcastic but with idiots like that its better to press delete.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 18 February 2014, 01:09:21 pm
Hello A! I would like 3 meetings 3 hours each in the same hotel but in different rooms, one for myself, one for my brother and one for my brother\'s virgin 16 years old son. If you do not ask his age he will not tell you ;-) So, how much is your gift" Thanks! Many kisses! Tom
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 18 February 2014, 01:31:25 pm
Quote from: foreign affairs on 18 February 2014, 01:09:21 pm
I would like 3 meetings .. 16 years old

Obviously there are lots of reasons to block the sender of this one, but if anyone is wondering, in the UK there's no age of consent for being a client, so otherwise legal sex with someone aged sixteen would be legal.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 18 February 2014, 01:38:00 pm
Quote from: foreign affairs on 18 February 2014, 01:09:21 pm
Hello A! I would like 3 meetings 3 hours each in the same hotel but in different rooms, one for myself, one for my brother and one for my brother\'s virgin 16 years old son. If you do not ask his age he will not tell you ;-) So, how much is your gift" Thanks! Many kisses! Tom

I love that they say "If you do not ask his age he will not tell you" after telling you their age lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 18 February 2014, 02:23:12 pm
You'd have thought they would at least have had the decency to let the virgin on first  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 18 February 2014, 03:08:54 pm
hi again bb, sorry 2 bother u again, I was just wondering if u fancied getting a few of ur girlfriends together & I can perform any of the things that I told u about in the last message, u could all just tell me wot 2 do 2 my cock while u all watch & have a giggle, remember bb, I will almost do anything u tell me 2 do 2 it, the more girls there are the stranger it will be, all u girls trying 2 find the strangest thing possible 2 do it, I hope u would like 2 take me up on this offer, I will show u for as long as u want for nothing at all, if ur interested hun & have some friends who would like a view just message me back bb, many thanx xxxx

Hmmm I do believe humiliation is a service which I don't offer, and if I did then I'd want to be paid for it. ::) I don't have any friends who like to sit on webcam with me looking at penises either.. what a shame. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 18 February 2014, 03:15:44 pm
Guy phones up, sounds polite enough otherwise I wouldn't have offered him an appointment at the time he asked..........

Me: Hello

Him: Hello my name is ****, I was wondering if I could book you either today or tomorrow?

Me: I have no availability for today but I could meet with you tomorrow at 12.30?

Him: Yes that's perfect, can I book for 2 hours?

Me: Of course that's fine!

Him: Where abouts are you?

Me: I tell him where (landmark) then tell him that once he's confirmed his appointment tomorrow morning, I will text him the address.

Him: That's great thank you. Do you have any boundary's? Is there anything you don't do?

Me: I was just about to ask you if you'd read my profile and were happy with what I offered but obviously not?

Him: My friend gave me your number and told me he had a great time with you!

Me: Yes but how long is a piece of string? There are countless amounts of sexual acts and with this being the sex industry, you never know what the person is expecting and I am sorry but I am really not comfortable being alone with a complete stranger that turns up expecting things I may not do or advertise. It makes my job very awkward, unpleasant and sometimes intimidating. I have a strict but simple procedure of people reading and accepting what's on offer before they phone and book me. Please ask your friend not to give my number out in future, if he's seen me then he should know how selective I am and how careful I am with making sure there is a mutual understanding of what is and isn't available.

Its frustrating how some of them sound great till the very end where they go and say or do something totally stupid that completely puts me off.

If I offered all services then this sort of thing obviously wouldn't be a problem but for a very vanilla escort to be asked if there's anything I don't do just totally puts my back up.

What sort of question is that anyway? Is there anything you don't do? Where do I start with that one?? Don't do OWO, CIM, Swallowing, Bareback, Anal, Hardsports, Watersports, Fisting, Strapon, Domination, Humilliation............. Incest & Beastiality FFS. The list could go on and on and on as there is a sexual fetish for just about everything. I learnt of a new fetish last week where men inject themselves with Saline straight into their balls so they swell up like a watermelon and guys who have a fetish for cutting their dick up and splitting it in half  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 18 February 2014, 06:57:20 pm
Oh I hate the old 'My mate gave me your number' thing.Its amazing that said mate never seems to tell them anything about you or actually just sends them a link to your profile which might be more useful.
And to be honest most of the genuine punters I know tend to keep their hobby private they don't blab all to their mates at the pub.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 18 February 2014, 07:28:14 pm
Yeah I would think that any client that's met me would NOT pass on my number and if they did then they would make it clear that I have my limitations. With my limitations, I am not to everyone's tastes x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roseanna on 19 February 2014, 02:17:42 am
Quote from: bibi on 18 February 2014, 06:57:20 pm
And to be honest most of the genuine punters I know tend to keep their hobby private they don't blab all to their mates at the pub.

Very rare that they do. Most of my regulars are very nervous about being discovered. Even some of those that have been coming a long time.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 19 February 2014, 01:43:57 pm
Quote from: chloe_ on 18 February 2014, 03:08:54 pm
hi again bb, sorry 2 bother u again, I was just wondering if u fancied getting a few of ur girlfriends together & I can perform any of the things that I told u about in the last message, u could all just tell me wot 2 do 2 my cock while u all watch & have a giggle, remember bb, I will almost do anything u tell me 2 do 2 it, the more girls there are the stranger it will be, all u girls trying 2 find the strangest thing possible 2 do it, I hope u would like 2 take me up on this offer, I will show u for as long as u want for nothing at all, if ur interested hun & have some friends who would like a view just message me back bb, many thanx xxxx

Hmmm I do believe humiliation is a service which I don't offer, and if I did then I'd want to be paid for it. ::) I don't have any friends who like to sit on webcam with me looking at penises either.. what a shame. ;D

He contacts me every 6 months or so. I think I might have blocked him after the last time, cos he's a freeloader wanting 1) wank material and 2) doesn't want to pay for the cam session.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tvhappiness on 19 February 2014, 01:53:47 pm
Agreed, most men want to look like an alpha male, and paying for sex is not one of those traits.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 19 February 2014, 03:46:20 pm
Okay total count of calls today 4..I hate February!!!!

3 from one marked TW in my fone, hmmmm nah will give him a miss, even tho he assures me he will turn up this time and if I can just tell him what exit to turn off on the motorway, ........I'm bored, payback could be a bitch lol

Call number 4, client rings, I missed his call so I ring him back, no answer so he then calls me back,

Did I ring ya says he
Ummm yes
Whats your name says he
Ummm Nat or Curvywench
Ah right says he, your very dear
Cue the fuck off music in my brain
lalalalalalalalaallalalalala
Well actually I'm 140 euro for an hour, and most of my clients tell me I am not as expensive as some,
Are you worth it says he
Nope I'm so not worth it, cos A) you can't afford me, and b) I aint seeing ya, bye bye now!!!!!!!

Sigh and that is the sum total of my day, apart from listening to screaming kids who are on my road, on midterm, I so need to move,


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 19 February 2014, 03:58:09 pm
Just got a call there from a wee ned (chav) already decided in my mind that I didn't want to meet him.......

Me: Hello

Him: Hello, you available?

Me: No sorry, I don't have any availability until Friday (which is the truth)

Him: Ok will I just phone back then?

Me: Yes that's fine.

Him: Much for a half hour?

Me: Sorry I don't see anyone who doesn't read my profile, it causes us both nothing but problems when you turn up expecting something from me that I don't do.

I put the phone down, text comes through.............

Him: Ah suck ma dick then.

Me: And that's why I don't see idiots like you that don't read my profile, it shows total lack of thought and respect . Thanks once again for proving to me that I am right to avoid little boys like you. To be fair to you its no wonder you have that attitude, I'd be defensive too if I got a knock back from a prostitute. Goodbye.

Him: Ok I am not a we boy I a man that would give u a good time

 ::)  ::)  ::)  ::) Should you'd give me a good time, jeez I missed out there. Obviously I never replied to that message as I cant be bothered wasting my time having abusive text ping pong with a nobody.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 19 February 2014, 10:21:43 pm
Just got a call off a fellow... I'm done for the night but I will answer the phone because it often leads to a booking at a later date. So, I answer and he asks about my availability and I say that I'm all done for the night but will be available tomorrow.

He has a sort of grating voice, with a bit of an edge to it. Like deep down inside he's seething with aggression and  resentment. Lovely.

He asks all sorts of dumb questions, including my rates. And is that all inclusive. And do I do this, that, and the other. I say "All of this information is available on my profile. You should read it! It's really well written!"

"Really? Who wrote it for you?"

"A genius."

"Yourself?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"I like your sense of humour."

"Plenty of that on my profile, too. You really ought to read the whole thing! Goodnight!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 19 February 2014, 10:33:30 pm
I had a guy the other nite tell me off for answering my phone when I was done for the nite, it didn't occur to him that I answered as it could easily have been someone wanting to arrange a booking for the following day or another date  ::) xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saturnspirit on 21 February 2014, 12:16:14 am
Anyone else had this email on aw?


"Would you be interested in doin a private gangbang party for max 6 guys in Birmingham?

Together with mates in Birmingham we regularly have these private parties every 4 - 6 weeks.
We take pics at our parties which are for private use only & can share content with you also if you wanted? Our parties are non-profit making & we're only out to have some genuine naughty fun haha!

Parties are usually about 2 hours with a break in between...

If you're interested, then let me know..?"

Non- profit? Meaning I won' t get paid? Yeah sounds fun, getting gang-banged by 6 guys and filmed for free! Such a offer I can't refuse! Not

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 21 February 2014, 01:33:18 am
I think 'non-profit' translates as 'there's no "organiser" taking a cut'. But given some of the people on AW, they may be expecting you to not only do it for free, but contribute to the costs too :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 21 February 2014, 01:11:35 pm
I just had a guy phone me up there with this crazy Asian accent, so crazy that I think it could be a wind up............

Me: Hello

Him: I want to come to your hooooouuuuuuuuse, what is address?  What is flat number pleeeeeeeeease?

Me: I giggled and hung up.

Not even a hello, are you available, can I book you at such and such a time.........Just whats your address  ::) If that's genuine then I wonder how many phone calls he'll have to make before someone actually sends the address, there's no doubt in my mind that someone actually would.

I strongly doubt its genuine though  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 22 February 2014, 04:56:57 pm
Not really a bad message but it made me laugh a bit

Subject: sexy gorgeous scorching hot babe
Message: if u want a good fucking im a stud message me babe Xx

I replied "if you want to book an escort, message me. x" ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 22 February 2014, 09:12:43 pm
*snort* This evening I'm setting up my AW profile for the first time, and while filling out my availability:

"Please can I give u ?200 for overnight today and I will u every Saturday this is my number 07WHATAJOKE94"

I thought I'd have at least 24 hours before the silly beggars came out to play. I've not even started to work yet.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 23 February 2014, 09:39:36 am
Quote from: AliceRed on 22 February 2014, 09:12:43 pm
*snort* This evening I'm setting up my AW profile for the first time, and while filling out my availability:

"Please can I give u ?200 for overnight today and I will u every Saturday this is my number 07WHATAJOKE94"

I thought I'd have at least 24 hours before the silly beggars came out to play. I've not even started to work yet.  ::)

Nope - this is SPECIFICALLY because you are new. You will get an abundance of chancers and boundary pushers and creeps and wankers and cheapskates and freebie hunters and scammers and lowlifes and the ones who only ever want to see new girls...but it's great practice for honing your spidey senses/gut feeling! Welcome and good luck :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sourgrapes on 23 February 2014, 10:08:06 am
I particularly enjoy the ones who offer to give me a massage "for free". Wow, mate, what a favor!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 23 February 2014, 11:36:49 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 23 February 2014, 09:39:36 am
Quote from: AliceRed on 22 February 2014, 09:12:43 pm
*snort* This evening I'm setting up my AW profile for the first time, and while filling out my availability:

"Please can I give u ?200 for overnight today and I will u every Saturday this is my number 07WHATAJOKE94"

I thought I'd have at least 24 hours before the silly beggars came out to play. I've not even started to work yet.  ::)

Nope - this is SPECIFICALLY because you are new. You will get an abundance of chancers and boundary pushers and creeps and wankers and cheapskates and freebie hunters and scammers and lowlifes and the ones who only ever want to see new girls...but it's great practice for honing your spidey senses/gut feeling! Welcome and good luck :)

Thought as much! Never fear, I play it fast & loose with the block button. & thankyou. :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 23 February 2014, 11:40:28 am
Getting a new profile has clearly brought all the TWs and oddballs out, even though my profile states I'm not new to escorting..
Abundance of pointless messages today.. (paraphrased for brevity)

A late 20s guy messaged me, wrote about his good looks, good body, good but busy job hence singleness.. Those types of messages always make me be careful. I let him know my availability then this:
Him: would you entertain a slightly unusual request? .. Help me christen my new [posh car] I can pick you up and drop you off.
Me: I don't offer car meets, and I have my own car.
Him: I have good feedback, you would be safe (..::)) We could meet for a drink first, I promise it would be fun.
(:FF) I explained to him the safety issues from my position.

another person messaged me just now.
Him: can you visit me today in [far away location] as soon as possible, can I call you, what's your number (lots of exclamation/question marks in original message)
Me: sorry, I'm having a day off
Him: oh no! could i not twist your arm and give you extra money
Me: no sorry I'm having a day off
Little things like that make me think 'will avoid this one' because it shows they can't accept 'no means no'. Also he wrote in text speak which I don't like :P

and another..
Him: Sunday, 23rd February at 7pm, call me 07W4NK3R, I have tried to make bookings twice before but no response, please call me.
Me: you haven't messaged me before, if you send a booking request with no message first I will delete because I don't know if I want to accept the booking..

Is a polite "Hi Chloe would you be available at 7pm on Tuesday for an hour in location?" too much to ask? My best clients have always been the ones who sent a polite enquiry and spoke to me like a person with a life, not a rentable human sex toy.. No offence to those who accept booking requests without emails first though! Just not my style. :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MinxySophia on 23 February 2014, 12:02:30 pm
Got this gem this morning.......


"may have a prposition for you.


I know it's not ideal. But I have a monthly budget of 120, I'm looking to meet a girl every fortnight and pay 50 to be degraded. And in weeks in between drop of a tenner worth of food. I am genuine and not a time waster and would honour this monthly"

I dont even offer domination lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 23 February 2014, 01:40:41 pm
I think that one has done the rounds, I seem to remember it being posted before..they never change eh?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 23 February 2014, 08:05:24 pm
Quote from: chloe_ on 22 February 2014, 04:56:57 pm
Not really a bad message but it made me laugh a bit

Subject: sexy gorgeous scorching hot babe
Message: if u want a good fucking im a stud message me babe Xx

I replied "if you want to book an escort, message me. x" ;D

Oh no, it got worse. 2 messages from this desirable client just arrived.
"nice tits babe with nipple studs in is there one in your clit i have booked u for tommorrow evening babe im going to give you a really gfood long hard fucking girl im a stud YOU WILL BE THE ELEVENTH ESCORT I HAVE HAD MY COCK IN XX"
"please accept my booking babe i will give you a good long hard seeing2"

2 booking requests as well, full name, phone number and address all included. I think he seriously expects me to accept. The booking requests came with this little note "plewase accept my booking ill fuck u the best u have ever been fucked babe Xx" but sadly I have to decline.

What an honour to be the 11th..  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Louise 1234 on 23 February 2014, 08:40:22 pm
Had a phone call from a dodgy sounding guy, i declined his offer for a 30 minute outcall at 1 am. (I only offer 1 hour min and certainly not at silly oclock!)  :FF

2 minutes later I received a text saying 'got some weed if u r bored.'

Yes, yes, definitely going to be rushing over there!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 23 February 2014, 09:14:51 pm
Quote from: MinxySophia on 23 February 2014, 12:02:30 pm
Got this gem this morning.......


"may have a prposition for you.


I know it's not ideal. But I have a monthly budget of 120, I'm looking to meet a girl every fortnight and pay 50 to be degraded. And in weeks in between drop of a tenner worth of food. I am genuine and not a time waster and would honour this monthly"

I dont even offer domination lol x

Hahahahaha Sophia, Ive had this guy a couple of times. Blocked him now though. I don't even do humiliation stuff. Idiot x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 23 February 2014, 09:17:25 pm
Quote from: Louise 1234 on 23 February 2014, 08:40:22 pm
Had a phone call from a dodgy sounding guy, i declined his offer for a 30 minute outcall at 1 am. (I only offer 1 hour min and certainly not at silly oclock!)  :FF

2 minutes later I received a text saying 'got some weed if u r bored.'

Yes, yes, definitely going to be rushing over there!  ::)

I get this often in Glasgow at silly o'clock when my last appointments are at 9pm for an hour and I don't do outcalls unless its an overnight booking. Never been offered weed I don't think but always offered coke which really gets me back up how they think they can get me there because I just love drugs and live my life like that. I don't even smoke FFS  :FF

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Louise 1234 on 23 February 2014, 09:23:14 pm
Lol, i guess they think that they can try their luck.

It always makes me chuckle, when I get a message saying, ''save my number, i have good shit.'' Or something to that effect.

Even if I did do drugs, which I certainly don't, my method of going about getting it wouldn't be via a random text ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 23 February 2014, 09:34:29 pm
That's how I feel about all the professional photographers that email and text me. If and when I want a photoshoot it will be done professionally by a reputable company that I contact off my own free will NOT some guy who has contacted me through a sex website same as the botox guy who kept texting till I eventually told him to do one asking if I wanted botox?? Eeeeerm I will have a qualified doctor do that thanks that works for a reputable company also  ::) xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: berri on 23 February 2014, 09:37:57 pm
Had a guy txt me today, I had seen him before - he smelt. 

Asks if I can see him in 15 minutes for half hour.

I reply that my min booking is half an hour

His response: that he hasn't got time because he's at work and I should see for half hour

Why should I bend my work rules to fit in with his
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 23 February 2014, 11:32:18 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 23 February 2014, 09:34:29 pm
That's how I feel about all the professional photographers that email and text me. If and when I want a photoshoot it will be done professionally by a reputable company that I contact off my own free will NOT some guy who has contacted me through a sex website same as the botox guy who kept texting till I eventually told him to do one asking if I wanted botox?? Eeeeerm I will have a qualified doctor do that thanks that works for a reputable company also  ::) xx

Or the BlackBerry guy :-D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 24 February 2014, 01:00:36 am
Is this the guy that send you his BBM pin so you can have BBM chat with him even although I don't have a blackberry? Are you in Glasgow? x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Louise 1234 on 24 February 2014, 06:58:40 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 23 February 2014, 09:34:29 pm
That's how I feel about all the professional photographers that email and text me. If and when I want a photoshoot it will be done professionally by a reputable company that I contact off my own free will NOT some guy who has contacted me through a sex website same as the botox guy who kept texting till I eventually told him to do one asking if I wanted botox?? Eeeeerm I will have a qualified doctor do that thanks that works for a reputable company also  ::) xx

Ha. The word desperate springs to mind.
Just turned my phone on.
3 texts one saying "hi, is this louise." And nothing else.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sassy Slapper on 24 February 2014, 07:35:42 am
I get that.

Hello, could you please ask ******* to call me back?I get that text fairly often. Who do they think is reading my phone other than me?

Hello..what ladies you have ?errr one, click as hangs up phone

Hi I saw you add on gumtree how much for an hour naked massage with hand relief, a blow job, a body to body and a pamper bath?.OH..I usually pay 40..

Make booking then send a million texts?thats a sure fire sign of someone who isn't going to turn up. I was lenient with it before as they usually turned up but now Im not. I just say "ill surprise you"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 24 February 2014, 10:49:56 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 24 February 2014, 01:00:36 am
Is this the guy that send you his BBM pin so you can have BBM chat with him even although I don't have a blackberry? Are you in Glasgow? x

No this guy offers you a BlackBerry Curve in place of your fee, Im in Ayrshire.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MinxySophia on 24 February 2014, 11:57:43 am
Not sure if its a Glasgow thing but does anyone get the

"are you interested in botox" message?

Hmmm x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 24 February 2014, 12:10:32 pm
Sophia look up a couple of posts at my post ^^^^^^^^^^^^

Yes I get the Glasgow Botox guy, told him to fuck off last time.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 24 February 2014, 12:16:48 pm
I got the 'botox' message too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 24 February 2014, 12:24:32 pm
Hahaha Strawberrry, your not even in Scotland....right? He must do his rounds of the country unless theres more than 1 botox guy  ::) xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 24 February 2014, 03:33:57 pm
How are you?

I'm ****, I'm a photographer. I could do some really good professional portrait shots for your profile that would help you get more business in exchange for your lovely services... I see you like to keep your face off the site, that wouldn't be a bother, I could do you some really nice suggestive, erotic shots that wouldn't require your face to be in them, simple things, like a close up of you licking a lolly pop!

I can also shoot HD video for your paid video section.

Best of it is I'm a pretty good looking well groomed young guy myself! ;-)

Hope you're well,

Cheers,

 ::) I don't need more business thanks and if/when I go down the professional pictures route I will contact a reputable and professional company myself. Seriously in exchange for my services? Lol  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wanton Harlot on 24 February 2014, 03:53:50 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 24 February 2014, 03:33:57 pm
How are you?

I'm ****, I'm a photographer. I could do some really good professional portrait shots for your profile that would help you get more business in exchange for your lovely services... I see you like to keep your face off the site, that wouldn't be a bother, I could do you some really nice suggestive, erotic shots that wouldn't require your face to be in them, simple things, like a close up of you licking a lolly pop!

I can also shoot HD video for your paid video section.

Best of it is I'm a pretty good looking well groomed young guy myself! ;-)

Hope you're well,

Cheers,

 ::) I don't need more business thanks and if/when I go down the professional pictures route I will contact a reputable and professional company myself. Seriously in exchange for my services? Lol  ::)


lol I just got that message today and blocked
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Louise 1234 on 24 February 2014, 04:04:48 pm
Mandy is incredible at the moment
Get her wilst she's hot!!


Don't think it was meant for me :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Abbeycro on 24 February 2014, 05:14:13 pm
I get those photography offers all the time, and don't you find the guys offering themselves as "professional" photographers, always have a gallery full of rubbish pics that were obviously taken by a rank amateur.   I am amazed at the front they have making out they can do you really good pictures to improve your profile, when theirs are so terrible.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 24 February 2014, 05:24:59 pm
There is always someone who will take them up on their offer otherwise they wouldn't do it but yes I agree their pics are rank and there is nothing professional about a "professional photographer/botox guy" if they are the ones to contact you through a sex website.

I had a guy try to sell me beauty treatment stuff that I am completely not trained in so would never use on my beauty clients (I am not insured for that) and when I told him politely no thank you and explained to him that I get all my products from reputable company's (direct makers of whatever it is I am using) and explained that I am not insured to use products on people that I am not trained in, he called me all the dirty whore skanks under the sun followed by about 10 texts messages of pure abuse LOL  ::)

Some of them are utterly bonkers  ::)

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 25 February 2014, 04:43:35 pm
"hi I saw your profile on adultwork.com (erm obviously seeing as that's where you're emailing me from?) would like to meet send your phone number and pictures."

Another guy emailed asking where I was based and availability and how to book, seemed polite and genuine good feedback etc..after sending over my number I get a reply stating "would love to fuck you with my big cock!"

Sigh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ilovedots on 25 February 2014, 06:51:58 pm
Quote from: chloe_ on 23 February 2014, 08:05:24 pm
Quote from: chloe_ on 22 February 2014, 04:56:57 pm
Not really a bad message but it made me laugh a bit

Subject: sexy gorgeous scorching hot babe
Message: if u want a good fucking im a stud message me babe Xx

I replied "if you want to book an escort, message me. x" ;D

Oh no, it got worse. 2 messages from this desirable client just arrived.
"nice tits babe with nipple studs in is there one in your clit i have booked u for tommorrow evening babe im going to give you a really gfood long hard fucking girl im a stud YOU WILL BE THE ELEVENTH ESCORT I HAVE HAD MY COCK IN XX"
"please accept my booking babe i will give you a good long hard seeing2"

2 booking requests as well, full name, phone number and address all included. I think he seriously expects me to accept. The booking requests came with this little note "plewase accept my booking ill fuck u the best u have ever been fucked babe Xx" but sadly I have to decline.

What an honour to be the 11th..  ;D

Is he for real?  ;D Made me laugh sooooo hard!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 25 February 2014, 06:56:25 pm
Yeah theres a guy whos been phoning and texting me the past couple of days that I have been ignoring as I have him saved in my phone as crude and although I don't know when I saved him number as, I know that he's said something stupid/crude/off putting for me to save his number as that and to ignore him.

Some of them don't realise that its the fear of the unknown of whats going to walk through your door, all clients are strangers at the end of the day so unless your completely desperate you wouldn't go and meet someone who said or did something to put you off or make you wary.

With me being extremely vanilla in what I offer and extremely selective about who I see, I would never feel comfortable in inviting someone into my house that's spoke to me in a crude/dirty manner.

You can book an escort and speak to her about what your likes are if your profile isn't clear enough without being a creep over it. I already know someone is going to ram their cock into me when I see them but I don't need to hear about it.

I had a guy ask me recently for an outcall (that I don't do) and went on to tell me about how much I will enjoy his 9 inch cock and that he could send me pictures of it if I like first?? Erm no thanks  ::)

There are many things that turn me off at the pre booking stage but it is really simple to book me.....read my profile, phone me and speak to me like a normal person.......seems to be too much to ask.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 25 February 2014, 07:17:59 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 24 February 2014, 03:33:57 pm
How are you?

I'm ****, I'm a photographer. I could do some really good professional portrait shots for your profile that would help you get more business in exchange for your lovely services... I see you like to keep your face off the site, that wouldn't be a bother, I could do you some really nice suggestive, erotic shots that wouldn't require your face to be in them, simple things, like a close up of you licking a lolly pop!

I can also shoot HD video for your paid video section.

Best of it is I'm a pretty good looking well groomed young guy myself! ;-)

Hope you're well,

Cheers,

 ::) I don't need more business thanks and if/when I go down the professional pictures route I will contact a reputable and professional company myself. Seriously in exchange for my services? Lol  ::)

He's doing the rounds and by the looks of things he's not that fussy :-D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pokey on 27 February 2014, 06:21:44 pm
I had a guy who made a legit booking but had work related issues come up and had to push it back a day. No big deal.

Well, then he asked for a picture and as I have no pictures on my profile, I agreed to send him one for the purpose of recognition upon meeting. He then proceeded to send me several pictures of other girls sucking his dick. I am confused. Is that supposed to excite me? Then, he asked for specific types of pictures and I politely but firmly informed him that I don't send naughty photos. He then asked if he could take pictures of me sucking his cock and I was astounded. What part of no naughty pictures is difficult to understand. Now he's messaged me that he has to reschedule again.

Is this guy serious? Argh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 27 February 2014, 10:23:49 pm
Quote from: Pokey on 27 February 2014, 06:21:44 pm
I had a guy who made a legit booking but had work related issues come up and had to push it back a day. No big deal.

Well, then he asked for a picture and as I have no pictures on my profile, I agreed to send him one for the purpose of recognition upon meeting. He then proceeded to send me several pictures of other girls sucking his dick. I am confused. Is that supposed to excite me? Then, he asked for specific types of pictures and I politely but firmly informed him that I don't send naughty photos. He then asked if he could take pictures of me sucking his cock and I was astounded. What part of no naughty pictures is difficult to understand. Now he's messaged me that he has to reschedule again.

Is this guy serious? Argh.

You not having pictures on your profile is your prerogative, there are plenty of escort adds in the paper etc without pictures BUT there are thousands and thousands of profiles with girls who do have pictures so if he wanted to see a picture, I'd have told him to choose someone who has pictures. I have guys ask me to send them a face picture which is a big no-no as I have absolutely no idea who's on the other end of the email or text so for discretion purposes would NEVER send a face pic so I just tell them that if seeing someones face first is that important to them then they should book someone who show's their face.....simples!

That guy sending you crude pictures IMO is a massive turn off, you just wonder what's gonna walk thorugh your door so I'd have blocked him, he obviously isn't discrete with the pictures he takes since he sent ones to you with the other girls he's done it with and seems like a total creep.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 27 February 2014, 10:40:06 pm
nothing worse than uninvited dick pick. so gla I have no mms on my phone


Had a guy call me today "Hi baby i love your profile but you only do outcall?"

"yes I only do outcalls"

"great can you come mine tonight then for a 30 minute booking?"

"sure where are you?"

"North London"

"ok, well thats a bit far for me I'mafraidbut if you ever wanted to come see me in leicester then theres plenty of hotels that are cheap roundhere."

"Oh no, I really wanted to see you tonight, what can we do about it?"

"erm, well I'm not sure there is anything that can be done."

"How about I pickyou up and drive you to mine then drop you off?"

At that point I pretended that the line cut (ie hung up)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: berri on 28 February 2014, 12:15:05 am
Had a young sounding lad ringe up, from the first word he said knew something was up.  Was a but of a surpressed giggle in his voice.  Pretty much first thing he asked was:

"How much for you to stick a finger up my bum"

For some reason I'm ever so busy and had to put the phone down
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 28 February 2014, 03:24:15 pm
"Double act.
Hi, after a long time away from the industry I've decided to start working again. I've researched and realised there's a huge market for double acts and was hoping you'd consider working alongside me, splitting the fee 60/40 (with you getting the most of course). I think we're like-minded people and could probably be really successful. Let me know if you're interested."

I reply "lol no" after seeing his escorting profile consists of a dick pic & a fee of ?70 per hour. And he's 18. Tho the answer would've been no regardless. Y'aint getting free sex from me pal.

He emails again: "Okay then, how about you give me 3 hours or an overnight today?"

Block. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 28 February 2014, 07:44:23 pm
So I've had an e-mail which said  "hi Holly fancy a 1 hour outcall tonight" from a user with 18 feedback, hidden.  2 aliases and whaddya know, it's red - the other account was deleted in December.

My profile states I only see regulars after 6pm anyway.

So I have another look at the hidden feedback and we've got '29 ratings - 18 positive, 2 neutral, 0 negative, 9 disputes' which we all know means he's had 9 negative feedback and has just responded to them all.

Me: No thank you.
Him: busy?
Me: No, just don't want to meet someone who tries to hide the fact that he's got 9 negative feedback.
I take my safety and security seriously and would never meet anyone if they had that amount of negative feedback.
Him: lol seriously your a prostitute lol I suggest you go read my profile 7 years not fake and meet plenty of members
lol security laughing at that especially the living you do wait till I tell the lad's this one lol

Well, after that message there's no way I want to be alone in a room with him.  I don't want to get into any further correspondence with this nasty guy so I don't reply but less than two minutes later I get, "Oh btw it's not negative ha ha just fake eastern European scam people for the record and profile was hacked"

Uh, is that supposed to change my mind?  Without replying I look at his profile and... Whoa there boy!  Big nasty rant about escorts, particularly foreign girls.  Which is another concern - would he be likely to get even nastier with me if he realised that I'm a foreign born citizen? 

"MY PROFILE HAS STAYED THE SAME SINCE I HAVE JOINED THIS SITE, I COULD EASILY CREATE A NEW PROFILE IF I WERE A FAKE PROFILE BUT I AM NOT - THIS SHOWS MY COMMITMENT TO KEEPING MY PROFILE THE WAY IT IS" From his profile - funny how he has aliases then.

Not blocking him - I want to keep his mails so I can take screen shots in case he follows through his threat to bad mouth me.  I've tried to work hard to build up a good reputation in my city and I won't let this guy ruin it.  As far as I see it, it's my prerogative to turn down someone if I don't feel safe meeting them.  Damn good job I keep my availability diary closed off!

I'm actually disappointed in myself for reading that profile as it is really quite vile.  I'm off to find some eye bleach.

Lovely man  ::)

Edit: Found eye bleach; feel a billion times better after that unpleasantness - http:// i.imgur.com/istyEnq.jpg  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 02 March 2014, 10:51:30 am
Plonker: Good morning are you available today?
Me: Good morning yes I am do you have a time in mind?
Plonker: Well can I have your details?
Me:May I ask where you got my number?
Plonker:The internet.
Me: Ok was it a purple and white site?
Plonker:Yes.
Me:So adultwork then? What details can I help you with as my profile tells you rates etc etc.
Plonker: Oh.
Me: Would you like to have a quick read and then get back to me if you are interested?
Plonker:Ok.

Phone call ends.

Phone rings.

Plonker: I've read it. ( we agree at 30 mins at 12, address to carpark given via text)

Text pings.

Plonker: How much is 30 mins?

Me: I thought you had read my profile?

Phone rings.

Plonker:Hello its me again...well I know you have big nice tits....is that your profile.

Me: I don't think you are genuine so booking cancelled sorry, bye.

20 mins later...text.

Plonker: I have read it now its 60 isn't it, can I still see you at 12?

Me: No, thats not my 30 min rate. Not sure why you just didn't have a read in the first place.

Number blocked, yes he might change his number but probably not. :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 02 March 2014, 11:21:21 am
Must be National plonker day....

Wally: Hi are you available today?
Me: Yes do you have a time and length of booking in mind?
Wally: yeah 3 or 4 hours.
Me: ok thats quite a long time as we haven't met would 2 hours or shorter be more appropriate? I'm available from 1:15.
Wally: I'm free all day so I'll see you ate 1pm.
Me: I'm available from 1;15 so 1:15 then?
Wally: Yeah ok for 2 hours.
Me: Starting to give him address details..
Wally: I haven't done this before.
Me; So are you sure you want a long booking if this is the first time for you?
Wally: I've had sex before.
Me: Yes but you haven't been with an escort or met me before? Have you had a read of my details?
Wally: No I can only get your pics on my phone.Are they of you?
Me: Yes but you don't know where I am based what I do or how much I charge?
Wally: No...and he puts the phone down.

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 02 March 2014, 12:53:22 pm
Ee silly people they seem to come along like buses!

Sillysausage:Hi can I book you for a massage blah de blah.
Me:Takes 30 min booking in.
SS:Via text...My train is delayed dunno how long it will be
Me:Ok keep me posted x
SS:Its gonna be about half an hour late.
Me:Ok so we are looking at 1:45 or 2?
SS:I'm meeting my girlfriend at 2.
Me:So you were gonna meet me at 1:15 for 30 mins then meet ur gf at 2...so why not cancel in the first place?
SS:Yeah sorry I did really want to meet u though...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 02 March 2014, 09:14:01 pm
glorious AW SPAM

Hello,

My name is Lewis and after viewing your profile I would like to personally
invite you to join our rapidly expanding, English owned agency,
ClassyAngels  (Outcall only)

Your safety is our number one priority and so we take all the necessary
steps to ensure this. We always allocate you a trusted driver who will
take you to each booking, wait outside until the booking is complete, and
of course take you home.


blah blah blah

......reported and BLOCKED

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 03 March 2014, 12:18:56 am
Hi fancy some sexting?


Yes because as a prostitute I like giving you wank fodder for free.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 03 March 2014, 11:23:08 am
Woke up to this gem this morning:

Hi, is this the right number from the internet ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 03 March 2014, 11:38:40 am
Someone somewhere must love em lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sourgrapes on 03 March 2014, 12:09:11 pm
It was full  moon last night.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 03 March 2014, 04:50:31 pm
Had the weekend off, logged back in and received this

"Hi,

Are you available at any time on the 30th February for an Outcall?

Thanks"

... Hilarious.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 03 March 2014, 08:45:51 pm
Hahahahahaha  ;D x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 03 March 2014, 09:06:33 pm
Sillybilly:Hi is this Bibi and do you do outcalls?
Me:Yes and is it to a private address or hotel?
Sillybilly:To a private address.
Me:I'm sorry I don't do private addresses unless you book me via A.W or I have met you before.You are welcome to come to my apartment though.
Sillybilly:I can't I'm on a tag I'm a nice guy though!
Me:I'm sure you are but sorry no can do!
Sillybilly:Aw ok.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 03 March 2014, 09:51:18 pm
LOL well at least he's honest and that short conversation seemed nice enough x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 03 March 2014, 10:25:10 pm
He probably was quite nice but I've had alot of strange blokes ringing of late and I really didn't feel like taking a risk.Who knows maybe when his tag is off he might pop round?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 03 March 2014, 11:45:57 pm
Yeah no I totally agree, if a guy phoned me up telling me he was on tag then I would naturally be feeling anxious regardless of how nice he came across on the phone. In this case...at least he wasn't a dick about you refusing to see him at his place as I get loads of guys turn on me if I say no to something x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 03 March 2014, 11:58:54 pm
One of my regs is on a tag lol he seems nice enough.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 04 March 2014, 08:15:44 am
It would be the "I'm a nice guy" line that would get me.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 04 March 2014, 09:33:53 am
Yeah the tag was abit comedy in away it was 'the i'm a nice guy ' that sort of sealed it lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sassy Slapper on 04 March 2014, 09:36:26 am
Phone rings.

Me..hello how can I help you
Him..hi, Kimberley?
Me..no
him..who are you then?
me..im **** bye

two minutes later

me..hello?
him..kimberley?
me..NO its ****
him..oh, yeah, thats it, can I see you
me..Im not kimberley
him..oh
me?just say bye by and hang up, its less awkward
him?okay?bye

click?...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 04 March 2014, 04:41:46 pm
What REALLY bugs me is guys that expect you to drop everything and answer calls/text immediately, not  even considering the fact you might be busy.

I have a regular client, very sweet and easy to talk to, scores high in every area except for this. 8 missed calls between 9.11 and 9.18 am this morning and upon logging into AW,

9.06am I'm ringing from withheld pick up
9.22am Why don't you pick up I'm not withheld now
9.28am I've just rang you on withheld and a landline why don't you pick up

He knows I don't answer withheld, and errm cause I was BUSY?!

The last time I told him off for this as it happened when I was with a new client, he made a joke along the lines of dick in one hand, phone in the other...yes, because I'm sure clients will be impressed with that.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 04 March 2014, 05:47:15 pm
I wouldn't see anyone who was that rude and inconsiderate, no chance regardless of how nice he is in other aspects x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pokey on 04 March 2014, 07:26:26 pm
I just got a message from a guy with an attached pic of his erect cock saying "I bet you don't get cocks this nice. When can you see me"

Um. Delete and ignore. Plus, it wasn't that nice of a prick.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 04 March 2014, 09:08:06 pm
Had a missed call, got back to him 25 minutes after missing his call.........

Me: Sorry I missed you, K x

Him: Who's this?

Me: You should know, you phoned me.

Him: I do know.

Me: Then why are you asking who I am?

Him: I forgot!

Him: Can I see you tonight?

Me: Very odd that you would forget, it was only a matter of minutes that you phoned me. Not a great start so I think its best we don't meet.

Him: Look I've never done this before, just phoned to see what it would be like. Doesn't seem promising.

Me: Your right it doesn't seem too promising but I have best part of 300 positive reviews so you have plenty of information about me to make a choice on whether you want to meet me or not whereas you are a completely anonymous stranger to me with dementia it seems so you shouldn't be too surprised that I haven't responded the way you'd hoped.

Him: I phoned you like half an hour ago though!

As if a whole half hour should excuse him from completely forgetting about calling me and who I am  ::)

At least he wasn't unpleasant or nasty but seems like a bit of a numpty lol!

xx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 05 March 2014, 02:03:38 pm
Just had a guy phone me for a booking, wanted to meet within the hour but I couldn't so I said I could meet at 4pm and he said that was fine as he could go pick up his wee boy from school but I assumed he meant he would then drop him off.

He then asks how much I charge for a half hour, at this point I am thinking he hasn't read my profile but I tell him anyway just incase he has read it but wanted to clarify the price then he asks for a 15 minute appointment.

So I tell him that I don't see people who don't read my profile and if he wants a cheap/short appointment then he should book someone who offers them.

I am certain he only wanted a 15 minute appointment cause he didn't like my half hour rate (which is fair enough but usually if someone doesn't like my half hour rate, they don't book me)

Anyway he texts me and says he isn't cheap and that he only wants a 15 minute appointment as he will have his son in the car  :FF  :FF

So I text back saying you wanted a half hour till I told you my rate but the fact that you were going to leave your young child in the car while you go off to have sex with a prostitute is even more off putting than anything else, can only imagine you will try to boundry push with me too since you don't seem to know a thing about me.

Dodged a bullet there, don't think he's a bad guy or a threat to my safety but definitely a complete moron and just the type I try to avoid at all costs  ::)

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 05 March 2014, 02:09:55 pm
Yes, PP, I had that many years ago too, thoughtless eejits.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 06 March 2014, 04:29:15 pm
Guy phones.........

Me: Hello

Him: Much for 45 minutes?

Me: I don't do 45 minute appointments!

Him: Ok how much for an hour?

Me: I don't see people that don't read my profile!

Him: One more question, in one hour can we kiss and can you give me a blowjob without a condom?

Me: I don't see rude people that don't read my profile!

Him: My friend gave me your number!

Oh that old chestnut  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sugar on 06 March 2014, 08:25:10 pm
Message recieved from newbie on AW:

Hey,

Im looking for a regular monthly rendezvous.

Ill next be in Derby (city centre hotel) on 7th april.

Im looking for an overnite outcall (2pm until 11am the next morning).

Id like to engage in as much sex throughout the whole of the session.

My offer is ?250 including all alcohol, and id like it to be a recurring event - how does that sound? xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 06 March 2014, 08:28:22 pm
Lol 21 hours of sex and it being a regular thing for ?250.......you'd be MAD not to take it  ::) xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sugar on 06 March 2014, 08:33:11 pm
Quote from: saturnspirit on 21 February 2014, 12:16:14 am
Anyone else had this email on aw?


"Would you be interested in doin a private gangbang party for max 6 guys in Birmingham?

Together with mates in Birmingham we regularly have these private parties every 4 - 6 weeks.
We take pics at our parties which are for private use only & can share content with you also if you wanted? Our parties are non-profit making & we're only out to have some genuine naughty fun haha!

Parties are usually about 2 hours with a break in between...

If you're interested, then let me know..?"

Non- profit? Meaning I won' t get paid? Yeah sounds fun, getting gang-banged by 6 guys and filmed for free! Such a offer I can't refuse! Not

Hahaha hilarious I had a similar email a while ago.  Bloody idiots!! Wonder if they found someone. ....lool
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amethyst on 07 March 2014, 02:04:50 am
Why do people ask whether they can ask you something, why not just ask the question? Had a message on AW and in the subject line it says 'Can I ask you a question pls', so I open the message to read this question he wants to ask me, but all the message consists of is 'xxxx'...  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MaddieMoo on 07 March 2014, 02:34:50 am
Quote from: Amethyst on 07 March 2014, 02:04:50 am
Why do people ask whether they can ask you something, why not just ask the question? Had a message on AW and in the subject line it says 'Can I ask you a question pls', so I open the message to read this question he wants to ask me, but all the message consists of is 'xxxx'...  ::)

That drives me mad! Get that all the time.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 07 March 2014, 08:46:13 am
Quote from: Amethyst on 07 March 2014, 02:04:50 am
Why do people ask whether they can ask you something, why not just ask the question? Had a message on AW and in the subject line it says 'Can I ask you a question pls', so I open the message to read this question he wants to ask me, but all the message consists of is 'xxxx'...  ::)

Maybe they are just testing the water as they don't want to offend?? Sometimes I get asked for things and am so disgusted that I cant hide how I feel about it, not very professional of me but at the end of the day the person asking for something I clearly don't do isn't a client of mine and escort or not I am only human so maybe they are just trying to see whether you'd be ok with being asked something out of the ordinary? x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 07 March 2014, 09:20:30 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 07 March 2014, 08:46:13 am
Quote from: Amethyst on 07 March 2014, 02:04:50 am
Why do people ask whether they can ask you something, why not just ask the question? Had a message on AW and in the subject line it says 'Can I ask you a question pls', so I open the message to read this question he wants to ask me, but all the message consists of is 'xxxx'...  ::)

Maybe they are just testing the water as they don't want to offend?? Sometimes I get asked for things and am so disgusted that I cant hide how I feel about it, not very professional of me but at the end of the day the person asking for something I clearly don't do isn't a client of mine and escort or not I am only human so maybe they are just trying to see whether you'd be ok with being asked something out of the ordinary? x

This tickles me and I think you'll find many people do it in lots of situations where they think they need permission to ask. Unfortunately it's also the MO of guys who just want to waffle on and prolong the contact.

I'll be patient and say "I prefer you just to get to the point, don't beat about the bush I get asked all sorts", if it carries on I'll start to think I won't be seeing him and find a way to end the call myself.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 07 March 2014, 10:32:09 am
My usual reply to emails that say "can I ask you a question" is you just did.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 07 March 2014, 02:36:53 pm
Yeah that's what I mean, some people may just think they need permission to ask so when someone asks me if they can ask a question, I always politely say yes......if its something totally outrageous and rank then I will tell them to do one or ignore. If they are looking for email ping pong then I will ignore that too x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 07 March 2014, 03:56:19 pm
I just reply with 'Of course...if it's not something that isn't covered on my profile...'.
It usually is.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 07 March 2014, 11:15:04 pm
I finally have one to add!! This guy was nice and didn't ask anything crazy, just his last-ditch response made me laugh.

HIM: Will you do a (2 hour gang bang)?
ME: Yes of course I will, my rate for the booking you've outlined will be ?750.00.
HIM: Oh we weren't expecting that much, the last girl did it for ?300.00 and she was great.
ME: May I suggest you book her then?
HIM: Before you make a final decision, please consider that drinks and nibbles will be included.

Lol, I know I'm greedy, but even I would have trouble eating ?450.00 worth of nibbles in two hours!!! I love the principle of it though... yes I will knock ?20 off the price sir, but only if you give me my full body weight in Pringles to eat on the way home xx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nikitamids on 08 March 2014, 10:13:30 am
Unsure if this has been covered but here goes..some months back I had a guy call asking for a car meet in my car....   I was more than polite and stated very clear that I did not deem car meets as safe  and in my eyes I saw it as pretty much dogging and it was not ever going to be something I would offer any client.. sorry slumming it in the back of a car down some seedy dark road was never going to be me I logged his number :) as carmeetfool and moved on. Really not the type of client I want to ever attract..needless to say sent away with polite flea in his ear ...anyway yesterday he called again really late in the evening  this time announcing he had his own transport and again I said no and  again declined him a booking......really not going to meet anyone in my car his car or any car to be honest  anyone else come across this.....guys wanting dogging type meets?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sassy Slapper on 08 March 2014, 10:26:24 am
Ive had one of those before. Wanted a quickie but when I explained that I was at home with my family now he text back saying if I gave him my address he would be happy to pick me up in his van for a quickie in the back. Then asked if my street was a quiet one as he didnt want anyone to notice his van while we were in the back of it???????? :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nikitamids on 08 March 2014, 10:32:49 am
Quote from: Sassy Slapper on 08 March 2014, 10:26:24 am
Ive had one of those before. Wanted a quickie but when I explained that I was at home with my family now he text back saying if I gave him my address he would be happy to pick me up in his van for a quickie in the back. Then asked if my street was a quiet one as he didnt want anyone to notice his van while we were in the back of it???????? :FF :FF :FF

lol funny as hell they have a mental attitude of curb crawling punters ....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 08 March 2014, 12:36:52 pm
Quote from: Nikitamids on 08 March 2014, 10:13:30 am
Unsure if this has been covered but here goes..some months back I had a guy call asking for a car meet in my car....   I was more than polite and stated very clear that I did not deem car meets as safe  and in my eyes I saw it as pretty much dogging and it was not ever going to be something I would offer any client.. sorry slumming it in the back of a car down some seedy dark road was never going to be me I logged his number :) as carmeetfool and moved on. Really not the type of client I want to ever attract..needless to say sent away with polite flea in his ear ...anyway yesterday he called again really late in the evening  this time announcing he had his own transport and again I said no and  again declined him a booking......really not going to meet anyone in my car his car or any car to be honest  anyone else come across this.....guys wanting dogging type meets?

I've been asked for this many times and my reasons for not doing it are exactly the same as yours.....safety issues, not interested in dogging or nasty meets and discretion is most important to me x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 08 March 2014, 05:03:16 pm
Quote from: Sassy Slapper on 04 March 2014, 09:36:26 am
Phone rings.

Me..hello how can I help you
Him..hi, Kimberley?
Me..no
him..who are you then?
me..im **** bye

two minutes later

me..hello?
him..kimberley?
me..NO its ****
him..oh, yeah, thats it, can I see you
me..Im not kimberley
him..oh
me?just say bye by and hang up, its less awkward
him?okay?bye

click?...

I wonder if he ever did manage to get ahold of me?  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 08 March 2014, 09:36:39 pm
At 3:40am Friday morning "Hi you are stunning, I'm hoping you'll f_ck me senseless?"

Ignored.

Same guy just now: "Hi am I allowed to ask you to f_ck me senseless?"

I suppose it depends how much sense he has. The more sense, the longer the booking - just so I can make sure it's all gone. From his communication so far, I think it'd only take a quickie ... and I don't do those.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 09 March 2014, 01:04:19 am
OMG that's a great come back lol, you should actually say that to him x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 09 March 2014, 04:11:32 pm
Why do guys take your number from your profile to start up text ping pong? I have made it clear everywhere not to text me however I have no issues with clients I have actually met texting me, they can text me as much as they like so sometimes when a random texts you as if they know you, I will respond.

This eejit text me at 7am one morning to see if I was available but obviously I ignored it then today got this...........

Him: Hi K how are you?

Me: Do I know you?

Him: No but I would like to, how's your weekend been?

Me: My phone number isn't on my profile for this purpose, I have made it clear not to text me so please don't text again.

Him: R U up for some fun?

Me: No I am not and definitely not with you.

Him: Would you like me to send you my picture?

Me: My phone doesn't take pictures to avoid people like you sending me pictures, I am not interested in you or your texts or your pics, don't text again.

 ::)  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberry on 09 March 2014, 06:44:46 pm
I've had the offer of a PS4 or ipad for an outcall to a place 1 hour away.

Oh dear.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nikitamids on 09 March 2014, 07:00:57 pm
regular  that turned into so much of a royal pain in the ass called booked and canceled 3 times in a row....
Next time he called I decided to be busy :)
2nd time I decided to be busy again
3rd time today I decided to be busy.....
taking into consideration  all 3 times were booked in advance
Twice i had set out on the one hour  drive 3rd of the way first time
Second didn't  cancel till minutes before leaving.
3rd time was nearly half way....
Each time he never asked if I had left and cancelled by text....
today he realized I didn't sound enthusiastic when I realized it was him I put the phone down lol he text i said no credit to call he said ok call me when you get some  lol I am too lazy to allow him to waste my time a 4th time so sod him hope he never rings back naughty revenge guess he will have to use an eu girl local something he wanted to avoid revenge is a dish best served cold ...now he can learn what being short timed feels like and being rushed out of door after a while he will realize I hope not to annoy an escort teach him to waste 3 of my evenings :) needless to say I  am not fussed  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 09 March 2014, 09:13:02 pm
Or you could ask him for a deposit since he's let you down 3 times and its an outcall to make matters worse.......he wont mind paying a deposit if he's genuine x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nikitamids on 09 March 2014, 10:02:14 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 09 March 2014, 09:13:02 pm
Or you could ask him for a deposit since he's let you down 3 times and its an outcall to make matters worse.......he wont mind paying a deposit if he's genuine x

Nope not forgiving with time wasters they dont get chances he had his 3 strikes lol  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 09 March 2014, 11:20:56 pm
Hi
I would like to meet you this week when you are in P. I just wanted to check if you're a girl. Could you tell me?
Kind regards
G?rard

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 09 March 2014, 11:48:26 pm
He's clearly not read a profile in the past, turned up only to be presented with a huge cock.....poor guy lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amethyst on 10 March 2014, 02:14:57 am
Quote from: AliceRed on 08 March 2014, 09:36:39 pm
Same guy just now: "Hi am I allowed to ask you to f_ck me senseless?"

I've had this! Really, what a strange thing to say? An odd mix of arrogance, creepiness and submissiveness!

Wonder if he ever found what he was looking for  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 10 March 2014, 11:24:58 am
Just got this from a so called 38 year old...........................


Subject - ihyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Email - heeeey sexy i would love to webcam with you when u next available im available in the mornings:)

Now considering I am not a webcammer, what the fuck is he on about apart from the fact he wants a free shag?

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 10 March 2014, 11:27:37 am
Was going to go on a rant to him about how much of a complete tool he is but managed to save my energy and  block him instead x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 11 March 2014, 02:34:52 pm
I know maybe we shouldn't be so quick to judge but at the end of the day, we cannot judge a person for who they really are as we do not know them or a thing about them (complete stranger) so have to judge them on how we see them as a potential client based on the contact we have from them, right?

Well I had a missed call from a guy a couple of hours ago, told him that I have no availability until tomorrow (Wednesday)

And this is the text I got back..........

WAt time tmw can a book

I text back saying that without even speaking to him........ by the text I got back from him, that I would think he's from a certain age group that I try to avoid unless they have feedback of their own for a multitude of reasons. The truth is, I don't actually avoid any group of men really (apart from ones that I cannot understand as their English is bad) I try to judge each person as an individual but this particular individual put me right off with his little text lol.

Anyway I got a text back from him saying Am35

I didn't respond, anyone else put off with things as small as this? I just tend to think that the booking would be a disaster, doubt he's read my profile and seriously doubt he's the right client for me. Of course I could be wrong and it would be my loss if he's a great guy but I doubt it.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: evabraun on 11 March 2014, 03:30:45 pm
I've just got it

'Hi would you be interested in a swap of services ? I can supply and fit carpets vinyls and laminate flooring
Please let me know
Paul'

No thanx
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 11 March 2014, 10:24:54 pm
You should say yes you are definitely up for an exchange of services, as you're a qualified fridge engineer.... therefore you would be happy to do a fridge/freezer safety check for him in return for the promised laminate flooring. Wonder if he'll still be so keen on an "exchange of services" once he hears that  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 11 March 2014, 11:21:50 pm
Just had a guy phone there with the deepest neddiest (chavvy) accent saying hallo there sexy lady!! I hung up instantly!

I hate picking up the phone to someone saying hello sexy whether he's a chav or posh.....its sleezy!

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 12 March 2014, 06:47:12 am
"Hi I'm 27 looking for sex. ideally I'd like to find a regular fuck buddy or even girlfriend as I really enjoy sex. I earn 34k and have around 40k in savings so we could have lots of fun. x"

Hahahahahahaha.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MaddieMoo on 12 March 2014, 11:09:39 am
Quote from: hannah13 on 12 March 2014, 06:47:12 am
"Hi I'm 27 looking for sex. ideally I'd like to find a regular fuck buddy or even girlfriend as I really enjoy sex. I earn 34k and have around 40k in savings so we could have lots of fun. x"

Hahahahahahaha.

Well that 40k in savings could get you to be his girlfriend (experience) for a while at least! ;) Bless his cotton socks, he must think he's on Match
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MM3 on 12 March 2014, 02:21:13 pm
This guy rung and asked where was I working from (hotel or a flat) and then he asked whether it was " discreet" and I said what he meant by that as it means different things to different people. Am I just being paranoid or what? I also get guys ringing me late and asking whether I  alone and if I had a busy day :P now I really wonder what's the point of these inquiries ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 12 March 2014, 05:02:48 pm
If a client phones up asking if your in a hotel and is it discreet then that's a perfectly normal question as many men will be paranoid about walking into a hotel thinking that everyone is watching hi, knowing he's about to go and pay for sex with a prostitute just as we're paranoid in hotels thinking everyone knows what we're up to.

BUT if a guy phoned me up asking if I was alone and had a busy day then I would NEVER tell them the answer and would NEVER see them, always have security in place incase someone did turn up to rob you.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 12 March 2014, 05:33:49 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 12 March 2014, 05:02:48 pm
If a client phones up asking if your in a hotel and is it discreet then that's a perfectly normal question as many men will be paranoid about walking into a hotel thinking that everyone is watching hi, knowing he's about to go and pay for sex with a prostitute just as we're paranoid in hotels thinking everyone knows what we're up to.

I think that depends - my ads always make it clear that I only use hotels, so if I'm asked it's because whoever's ringing hasn't read them and that's one red flag for me. As for 'is it discreet', I don't want to see anybody who thinks I'm so braindead I would work from an unsuitable hotel and as Lea says, the question itself doesn't make any sense. I've often wondered what these people do when they're actually staying in hotels and have to convey themselves from the door to their room that's so different ???

Quote from: Pink~Princess on 12 March 2014, 05:02:48 pm
BUT if a guy phoned me up asking if I was alone and had a busy day then I would NEVER tell them the answer and would NEVER see them, always have security in place incase someone did turn up to rob you.

Definitely. They wouldn't even need to ask me both of them, to be honest.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 12 March 2014, 05:43:53 pm
Agreed if you have it on your profile already, as you know I hate it when they don't read my profile but I never have the fact that I am in a hotel on my profile as I get enough problems as it is so when they ask me that question, I do always just answer with the fact that obviously I am in a discreet hotel........I have thought its a silly question too, as if I would work from a hotel that I couldn't work from BUT plenty girls don't do their homework and find themselves in key carded hotels etc so maybe due to a previous bad experience these clients just want clarification that they wont run into any problems when they enter the hotel xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 12 March 2014, 05:44:20 pm
Had an email from a guy a few times over the past 3 years, suspect the email has done the rounds!

Hi, I am 19 and haven't had much experience with girls, I would like you to wank me till I'm hard and let me know if my cock is of above or below average size, I can send you a picture of it hard if you give me your personal email or we could skype? And you can let me know that way, thanks x

Gotta admire them for trying I think ! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 12 March 2014, 05:52:10 pm
I am in Glasgow and have had this email before or something very similar so I suspect he is doing the rounds x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 12 March 2014, 06:07:55 pm
Thought so, think another one maybe a lot of girls have had goes something like this,

Hi, have a movie of my ex boyfriend sucking his own cock! Want to put it all over the internet , will you put it on your profile?

I said no!

Got same email another time but on this occasion claiming to be from a guy who wanted the same movie put out on the internet, weird x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 12 March 2014, 06:16:10 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 12 March 2014, 05:43:53 pm
I have thought its a silly question too, as if I would work from a hotel that I couldn't work from BUT plenty girls don't do their homework and find themselves in key carded hotels etc so maybe due to a previous bad experience these clients just want clarification that they wont run into any problems when they enter the hotel xx

I know what you mean, but if they want to know if it's keycarded/where the lifts are/if there's parking or whatever I'd rather they just asked the specific question - it's a bit like being asked for 'details' and I think it's the laziness of it that irritates me. The number of times I've been asked that question in London in six years of working there is less than the number of times I get asked in a single day in places like Ireland and when I pick up the phone to have 'hotel or 'partment?' grunted at me now I just hang up.

Quote from: Nia Hope on 12 March 2014, 05:44:20 pm
Had an email from a guy a few times over the past 3 years, suspect the email has done the rounds!

Hi, I am 19 and haven't had much experience with girls, I would like you to wank me till I'm hard and let me know if my cock is of above or below average size, I can send you a picture of it hard if you give me your personal email or we could skype? And you can let me know that way, thanks x


I've had that one at least three times and I think mostof us have got it at least once - he's right up there with that dim twat who's looking for a girlfriend and will 'let' you keep working because he's such a great guy and the one who claims he's a masseuse and in a gesture of goodwill will let you get nekkid and lie there whilst he gropes and mauls you about without charging you a penny. Form an orderly queue, folks  ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 12 March 2014, 06:22:16 pm
Same as 'male escorts' emailing to do you a huge favour of shared content, x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 12 March 2014, 06:39:39 pm
I had a guy email me the other day wanting to cam with me in the mornings even although I am not a cammer  ::) So he basically wants free se in the mornings lol, what a tool!! x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 12 March 2014, 06:53:09 pm
Hi, can I be your slave for the day? I will let you have sex with me whenever you want , x

This translates as, hi can I spend the day with you and fuck you for free!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 12 March 2014, 08:53:27 pm
Quote from: MaddieMoo on 12 March 2014, 11:09:39 am
Quote from: hannah13 on 12 March 2014, 06:47:12 am
"Hi I'm 27 looking for sex. ideally I'd like to find a regular fuck buddy or even girlfriend as I really enjoy sex. I earn 34k and have around 40k in savings so we could have lots of fun. x"

Hahahahahahaha.

Well that 40k in savings could get you to be his girlfriend (experience) for a while at least! ;) Bless his cotton socks, he must think he's on Match

Haha! I was tempted to email back and tell him I'm not a dating site, but then decided why bother. It did give me a good giggle at 6.30am as I was struggling to open my eyes, put me in a good mood right away :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 12 March 2014, 09:03:45 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 12 March 2014, 06:47:12 am
"Hi I'm 27 looking for sex. ideally I'd like to find a regular fuck buddy or even girlfriend as I really enjoy sex. I earn 34k and have around 40k in savings so we could have lots of fun. x"

Translation: I still live with my mum.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amethyst on 13 March 2014, 01:24:30 pm
This guy made me laugh!

Him: Hi may I ask a few questions on your services please?
Me: ?
Him: What's the required age?
Me: 18
Him: I'm 16 legal age I'll pay full price for a bj?
Me: Great, 10pc discount with a valid student card.
Him: So will you give me a bj? How much?
Me: No.
Him: You said great?
Me: I also said 18+
Him: I'll pay full price up to you..?
Me: Come back in 2 years.
Him: Sweet

 ::)

Shall I pencil him in my diary in advance :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 13 March 2014, 05:04:09 pm
a while back a local man emailed asking for watersports, I advertise nothing kinky but he said he'd still like to see me so maybe he just thought 'if you don't ask you don't get'.. so I thought 'hm he can't be too bad'

he emailed me again today
"Could i cum over your tits (only) for ?30?
Should be all over in a matter of minutes! -lol
x"

replied saying I'm not a sweet shop, my fee is for my time.. etc lol. doing hair and makeup, picking lingerie and outfit and travelling for just ?30, it's much more effort on my part than just turning up for a few mins, letting a guy cum on me and leaving! :P haha oh well. he was kind of polite but this is his 2nd silly request so I was a bit short in my reply.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 13 March 2014, 07:51:07 pm
Had this through the AW email system:  number? that's all nothing else so I responded with 'I am not Count Von Count from the muppets, you want a number, here's one 'Five'

He got under my skin....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 13 March 2014, 09:08:22 pm
Quote from: chloe_ on 13 March 2014, 05:04:09 pm
a while back a local man emailed asking for watersports, I advertise nothing kinky but he said he'd still like to see me so maybe he just thought 'if you don't ask you don't get'.. so I thought 'hm he can't be too bad'

he emailed me again today
"Could i cum over your tits (only) for ?30?
Should be all over in a matter of minutes! -lol
x"

replied saying I'm not a sweet shop, my fee is for my time.. etc lol. doing hair and makeup, picking lingerie and outfit and travelling for just ?30, it's much more effort on my part than just turning up for a few mins, letting a guy cum on me and leaving! :P haha oh well. he was kind of polite but this is his 2nd silly request so I was a bit short in my reply.

That's another reason why my half hour rate is on the high end as I still make the same amount of effort for a half hour client as I do for an hour client with being freshly showered, hair & make-up, lingerie, setting up my work space etc etc etc not to mention the fact that regardless of time, I am still offering a full service and for that I charge a minimum ?100 x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 13 March 2014, 09:10:06 pm
Quote from: Vivienne on 13 March 2014, 07:51:07 pm
Had this through the AW email system:  number? that's all nothing else so I responded with 'I am not Count Von Count from the muppets, you want a number, here's one 'Five'

He got under my skin....

I know you do just think to yourself what the hell is this person going to be like in person if he cant even be bothered to be polite in an email........NO THANK YOU!! xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 14 March 2014, 10:54:37 am
This clown texted me all day long:

Hi how are you

Hello. I am fine. How are you? :)

I am fine bby Ulook sexy nce body n?e breasts nce ass.

Reply

Can I ask U smethn?

Ru there

Hello ru there

Hi how are you?

Ru there

Hi how are you?ru there

Ru there hello

Me: Hello?

How are you

Reply

Me: I'm fine. :)

Cn I ask U smethn

Me: You just did, in a barely comprehensible way.

Cn I as U smethn plz

Me: Apparently not. Most people just ask the question.

Well I ask U a question cn I ask U or not

CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING PLEASE

Hello can I ask U smethn yes or no

Me: No. You have had your chance and all you've done is squandered it on asking the question "can I ask you a question?"

Excuse me wht is this huh if U do nt knw why I am join to ask U how cn I teach U how to do it with me.

Hi how are you

Ru there
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 14 March 2014, 12:51:48 pm
Ew how can he teach you how to do it with him? Does he have some strange appendage we've never seen before?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 14 March 2014, 08:32:49 pm
just had some eeejit call.

eejit: hi, I am calling about your services I have been trying to speak to you since Novmber.

Me: really I don't recognise the number, I mean what would you like to know.

eejit: well what will you definitely not do.

Me: sorry, have you read my profile?

eejit: my computers broken

Me: well I dont have unprotected sex or a levels

eejit: no a levels at all would you not finger my bum.

Me: no I wouldn't

eejit: why not are you scared?

Me: I don't feel like I have to explain myself I dont do any anal play end of. If this bothers you then you should book one of the thousands of other girls that do provide it.

eejit then mumbles a lot of inaudable stuff realy couldnt tell what he was saying. I just kinda hang up on him just really weird vibes from him. I then get a text from him asking what my name was.

I usually have a lot of patience but at the moment I'm coming off my citaopram and getting head shocks which is making me intolerable.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 15 March 2014, 12:05:34 am
"So when do you want my cock?"

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 15 March 2014, 12:29:19 pm
Quote
Hi there,

I want to meet a sexy minx who will enjoy having fun with a married man

My fantasy is for you to seduce me while I phone my wife, Nicola, love for you to make me cum while she is on the phone and completely unaware.

I can visit you or you could come to my house tomorrow while Nicola is out with her mother.

Hope to hear from you

Rob x

Of course I will!  And my pet pig can fly.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MinxySophia on 15 March 2014, 10:24:43 pm
Received this about a minute ago.....

"hi babe can a meet you to lick your ass for a full hour that would be a dream to me x "


..... Hold me back  :o!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 15 March 2014, 10:27:13 pm

Hi

Looking for feedback on my photography work, would you take a free photoshoot in exchange for feedback and allow me to use a few photos for my AW Profile ?

If your interested i can call you or facetime you on skype, i'am a serious person and genuine. I also have some feedback and photos of who iam on my profile. I have been doing this work on/off over the last 8 years, I work from Monday to Friday 9am - 4pm.

x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 15 March 2014, 10:29:18 pm
I don't think that guy was rude in anyway, just irritating when I get these sorts of messages when I try to be as discrete as possible so if never trust anyone with pictures of me nor would I go on FaceTime where they could screen grab my face pic! It's totally thoughtless them asking someone like me for this!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MinxySophia on 15 March 2014, 10:38:02 pm
I have had that one in the past few days also PP,

I pride myself in having non-proffesional pics on my page  ;D x

Sx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 16 March 2014, 12:03:57 am
I am all for professional pics but done by an actual professional/reputable company that I contacted myself NOT some guy who's contacted me on a sex website saying he's a professional photographer, there's nothing professional about it x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 16 March 2014, 11:53:08 pm
Just in....'Hi I am travelling to Leeds this week and would like a meet.I have a fantasy about a girl squirting on her own face...'
Intrigued I asked how he expected this to happen...apparently because he can cum in his own face girls can too...I did actually send him a brief biology lesson pointing out where an erect penis is on the body and where a vagina is....too many porn vids I fear!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 17 March 2014, 12:26:39 am
Oh my god......LOL! x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hideawayx on 17 March 2014, 10:26:56 am
Pink Princess,

Where did you go for your pictures?

I really want some done but have not long started out and I don't have a lot of money behind me... I was considering doing a shoot with someone from AW. He seems ever so nice and I have had many a cam session with him. However after reading your post I'm worried to do this now.

xxxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 17 March 2014, 11:43:37 am
I've never had professional pics but if/when I do it will be a reputable agency. Google glamour photographers London, it brings up a few different ones or go through AW and if you see really nice pics then you could maybe email the lady asking if she would mind telling you where she had her pics done.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sourgrapes on 17 March 2014, 12:02:05 pm
Quote from: bibi on 16 March 2014, 11:53:08 pm
Just in....'Hi I am travelling to Leeds this week and would like a meet.I have a fantasy about a girl squirting on her own face...'
Intrigued I asked how he expected this to happen...apparently because he can cum in his own face girls can too...I did actually send him a brief biology lesson pointing out where an erect penis is on the body and where a vagina is....too many porn vids I fear!

Wow, totally clueless about basic anatomy - bet he's great in the sack..... not    :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hideawayx on 17 March 2014, 12:06:26 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 17 March 2014, 11:43:37 am
I've never had professional pics but if/when I do it will be a reputable agency. Google glamour photographers London, it brings up a few different ones or go through AW and if you see really nice pics then you could maybe email the lady asking if she would mind telling you where she had her pics done.

xx

Good idea, thanks hun  :)

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 17 March 2014, 12:21:26 pm
It seems that one of my ads somewhere is attracting all the idiots this week. In just two days I've had text conversations with two different guys that started off fairly innocuously organising the details of a potential booking when 1 suddenly said:

"How about ?600 no condom xxx baby"

and the other, who had other TWer signs but I was doing my best steering him into arranging a booking text back:

"how much will it cost me to cream pie you price wise I am from London and loded x"

Surprisingly neither of them replied after I told them my thoughts on being asked for bareback. The second guy seemed to think I'd be impressed that he was from London as he mentioned it a few times, clearly he thinks anyone living outside of London is some kind of backwards yokel!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MinxySophia on 17 March 2014, 12:50:58 pm
Woke up to this gem this morning.....

" Loser - You available?

Loser - Do you have a tight fanny?

Loser - Hello? "

.... Sounds like such a gent eh? lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hideawayx on 17 March 2014, 02:32:17 pm
What a charmer!  :P

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 17 March 2014, 05:23:20 pm
A follow up to the guy who asked me about watersports (clearly not offered) then offered me ?30 to cum on my tits..  ::) I let him know my fee is per time not service so he'd have to book for min half hour ?70 and he replied

Hmmmmmmmmm
A very strange reply!
I could understand such a reply when I questioned you about something unusual like Watersports but not about something as normal as cumming over a girl's breasts. Your profile pics do after all make rather a large feature out of your tits!? I seem to remember offering you ?35 a time for cumming over them during our 'time' together. If you'd agreed that would (at a minimum of twice a week) have netted you a minimum of ?3,640 a year -just for me. I am part of a rather large group of Cumbrian men though (20+ at the last count) so I'll leave you to do the maths. Don't bother replying as you are now blocked across our entire network.
You are certainly not a sweet shop -rather the bitter opposite I fear.
Sad as you appeared to look so nice.


hahahaha! He actually calculated how much money I'd make seeing him twice a week at ?30 a go. Replied saying I have never seen him before, and my rate is all inclusive of all services I offer.. charge by time not service and told him I couldn't care less about his big network of cumbrian men who are now all going to believe him and pass up on seeing a pretty attractive escort because of what he says. I guess it's my fault though, for having a photo of my breasts on my profile.. (sarcasm!)
why bother threatening me, it's so pathetic ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 17 March 2014, 07:04:59 pm
All I can say is you dodged about 20 bullets if that's what him and his network are like...........morons!

If he thinks your reply is so odd (it's not odd btw) then why doesn't he save his emails for other girls who do charge by the service? Probably because it's him who's odd!

I wouldn't have replied though especially when he said your blocked.

Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 17 March 2014, 09:03:56 pm
Just had some idiot phone me up asking what ladies I have working?

I said what?

He said what ladies do you have available?

I said what do you think I am exactly? A brothel?

Phone goes quiet as if I am the one asking the crazy question!

I put the phone down!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 17 March 2014, 10:51:57 pm
Had a day of utter wankers on the phone as well as some lovely bookings but just as I was finishing i get this via text.

Bellend:Is this the bbw escort service
Me:This is Bibi thats my name.
Bellend:Hi Bibi what services do you do?
Me:Where did you get my number?
Bellend:Google. (Why do they say google or internet instead of the site?!?)
Me:My services and rates are on most of my adverts.
Bellend:I'm at work so didn't click on it cos my connection is not good.(How is it that wankers always look for escorts at work?!?)
Me:Well maybe have a look when you are not at work,read and ring me if you are interested.I don't list services via text as it results in text tennis.You can also ring and ask for me with my name.
Bellend:Is there any need to be arsey?x
Me:Is there any reason to text random numbers not even know a girls name and know nothing about them?You have just shown you are rude and immature..bye (and block!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Monroe on 18 March 2014, 11:11:44 am
Oh God. I the years i have been working i have had so many idiotics message me.

can i c u now? =

i know it sayz u dnt text but am at work/drivin so can you text me and i will call u

hi bb do u do blowjobs? =

I've just seen your profile, i'd love to take you on a date

can we do bareback for a little bit extra?

My girlfriend just dumped me, can we meet up for some free fun?

As i have see you before can i have a discount

And there are a thousand more! I try my hardest not to get mad, but sometimes i just cannot help it. Do these guys just sit on sites all day pestering!  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 18 March 2014, 11:52:25 am
I saw your profile on AdultWork.com and ...Wondered whether you might be free in an hour or two? After 9am? Lol

ummmm whats with the LOL what's funny, have I missed something?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amethyst on 18 March 2014, 01:08:34 pm
'Hello. Will you take Paypal payment? I will pay lots extra.'

Got to be dodgy  :-\  Paypal payments can be cancelled, right?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 18 March 2014, 02:27:03 pm
Yeah I am sure they can be cancelled. Tell him you'll see him providing his PayPal payment is paid and received BEFORE you give him any service same as with any other booking x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amethyst on 18 March 2014, 02:42:03 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 18 March 2014, 02:27:03 pm
Yeah I am sure they can be cancelled. Tell him you'll see him providing his PayPal payment is paid and received BEFORE you give him any service same as with any other booking x

Why ask for PayPal though? And the 'pay lots extra' bit. Could be a scam of sorts  :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 18 March 2014, 03:21:09 pm
Quote from: Vivienne on 18 March 2014, 11:52:25 am
I saw your profile on AdultWork.com and ...Wondered whether you might be free in an hour or two? After 9am? Lol

ummmm whats with the LOL what's funny, have I missed something?

he could be from an older generation who thinks lol means lots of love
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 18 March 2014, 04:22:59 pm
Quote from: Amethyst on 18 March 2014, 01:08:34 pm
'Hello. Will you take Paypal payment? I will pay lots extra.'

Got to be dodgy  :-\  Paypal payments can be cancelled, right?

Yes.  Dodgy to the max.

A service like this is not covered by PayPal's seller protection, it covers physical items only.  Even after the booking has taken place he could lodge a claim with PayPal and even request that his card issuer reverse the payment, putting you at [high] risk of losing out on your fee.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 18 March 2014, 05:24:15 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 18 March 2014, 02:27:03 pm
Yeah I am sure they can be cancelled. Tell him you'll see him providing his PayPal payment is paid and received BEFORE you give him any service same as with any other booking x

It can still be charged back for many weeks (possibly months). NEVER use PayPal for ANY sex work.

Plus if PayPal gets any inkling that an account was used for adult items or services, your account will be closed without question.

NEVER use PayPal, it's not worth the heartache.

With regard to why the man was offering more money for you to accept PayPal - because he's trying to scam you, he can get it back at any time after the booking, and I'm willing to bet he's done it many times before. The offer of MORE than your fees is his way of enticing you.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 18 March 2014, 05:26:23 pm
Quote from: Amethyst on 18 March 2014, 02:42:03 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 18 March 2014, 02:27:03 pm
Yeah I am sure they can be cancelled. Tell him you'll see him providing his PayPal payment is paid and received BEFORE you give him any service same as with any other booking x

Why ask for PayPal though? And the 'pay lots extra' bit. Could be a scam of sorts  :(

It is. See above.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MaddieMoo on 18 March 2014, 07:16:35 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 18 March 2014, 03:21:09 pm
Quote from: Vivienne on 18 March 2014, 11:52:25 am
I saw your profile on AdultWork.com and ...Wondered whether you might be free in an hour or two? After 9am? Lol

ummmm whats with the LOL what's funny, have I missed something?

he could be from an older generation who thinks lol means lots of love

I think it could be that too but then it brings up the issue of clients saying things like "lots of love." That's what you put on a text to your aunty or something, not a stranger you're paying for sex haha I really don't like it! Same with "- Love from Client" on the bottom of emails - ehhh!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 19 March 2014, 02:43:14 pm
Quote from: MaddieMoo on 18 March 2014, 07:16:35 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 18 March 2014, 03:21:09 pm
Quote from: Vivienne on 18 March 2014, 11:52:25 am
I saw your profile on AdultWork.com and ...Wondered whether you might be free in an hour or two? After 9am? Lol

ummmm whats with the LOL what's funny, have I missed something?

he could be from an older generation who thinks lol means lots of love

I think it could be that too but then it brings up the issue of clients saying things like "lots of love." That's what you put on a text to your aunty or something, not a stranger you're paying for sex haha I really don't like it! Same with "- Love from Client" on the bottom of emails - ehhh!!

If the client is a younger man, maybe he was trying to write you a message, wasn't really sure what to say and put the 'lol' out of awkwardness? Hard to explain but people around my age often say 'haha' or 'lol' when they're not laughing, partially because they think it sounds unfriendly to not put some slang like a smiley face or a laugh in. Just my 2 cents :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amethyst on 19 March 2014, 04:12:40 pm
Quote from: chloe_ on 19 March 2014, 02:43:14 pm
If the client is a younger man, maybe he was trying to write you a message, wasn't really sure what to say and put the 'lol' out of awkwardness?

I agree with this, I've had a few 'lolz' at the end of messages when nothing was even funny and all they did was ask for appointment! I think they are trying to take some of the impact/seriousness away. Some guys are socially awkward, especially around females :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 19 March 2014, 11:06:30 pm
I agree with this too actually x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 20 March 2014, 07:00:35 am
Quote from: Amethyst on 19 March 2014, 04:12:40 pm
Quote from: chloe_ on 19 March 2014, 02:43:14 pm
If the client is a younger man, maybe he was trying to write you a message, wasn't really sure what to say and put the 'lol' out of awkwardness?

I agree with this, I've had a few 'lolz' at the end of messages when nothing was even funny and all they did was ask for appointment! I think they are trying to take some of the impact/seriousness away. Some guys are socially awkward, especially around females :)

I could understand that if it was a text message but in an email......maybe I'm getting old. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 20 March 2014, 12:30:48 pm
I woke up to a text sent at 6.36am this morning saying.........

You look nice but reading your profile you don't seem it!!!!

Well thanks for the input you moron, only a narrow minded, ignorant fuck wit would read my profile and think so. At the end of the day, my profile is assertive!! I've made it clear the types of clients I seek out, I've made my working hours clear so NOT to phone me during the nite for a booking and I've made reading my profile clear to ensure the person reading is happy with what I offer!!!

If I offered most or all services then there would be no need for me to be quite as assertive, all I am trying to do is save the client the wasted time and disappointment and myself the wasted time and awkwardness/intimidation of meeting a complete stranger who's unhappy with me even although it's his own fault for not reading. If I worked along side another escort with added security then again I wouldn't need to be quite as assertive about which type of client I seek out and if I worked 24/7 then I wouldn't give a shit about people phoning me at ridiculous times!!!!!

My profile has got more assertive as I have went along with the amount of bad things that's happened to me in this business.

I am not desperate for money so I am not gonna put a whole load of shit on my profile just to lure them in, they either accept what's on my  profile or they don't and find someone else. Almost 300 positive reviews of me online so what more does he want?

All I can say is I dodged a bullet, feel sorry for whoever has to service such an ignorant arse!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RR on 20 March 2014, 08:19:18 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 20 March 2014, 12:30:48 pm
I woke up to a text sent at 6.36am this morning saying.........

You look nice but reading your profile you don't seem it!!!!

Well thanks for the input you moron, only a narrow minded, ignorant fuck wit would read my profile and think so. At the end of the day, my profile is assertive!! I've made it clear the types of clients I seek out, I've made my working hours clear so NOT to phone me during the nite for a booking and I've made reading my profile clear to ensure the person reading is happy with what I offer!!!

If I offered most or all services then there would be no need for me to be quite as assertive, all I am trying to do is save the client the wasted time and disappointment and myself the wasted time and awkwardness/intimidation of meeting a complete stranger who's unhappy with me even although it's his own fault for not reading. If I worked along side another escort with added security then again I wouldn't need to be quite as assertive about which type of client I seek out and if I worked 24/7 then I wouldn't give a shit about people phoning me at ridiculous times!!!!!

My profile has got more assertive as I have went along with the amount of bad things that's happened to me in this business.

I am not desperate for money so I am not gonna put a whole load of shit on my profile just to lure them in, they either accept what's on my  profile or they don't and find someone else. Almost 300 positive reviews of me online so what more does he want?

All I can say is I dodged a bullet, feel sorry for whoever has to service such an ignorant arse!

I'd have thought "you sounded normal but judging from your over exertion on the exclamation key you don't seem it"  :-*

My profile takes no prisoners either - don't feel bad about it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 20 March 2014, 08:57:17 pm
Lol but don't they realise that although this business has many, many lovely men in it, it also has the lowest of the low......if you aren't assertive then some people will completely take advantage.

The things on my profile that he's talking about that seem like I have a bad attitude is nothing to do with attitude, I am just telling it how it is. How else can you tell people not to phone you in the middle of the nite or they will be blocked without sounding grumpy? Or texts messages will be ignored or that I am selective about who I meet with?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RR on 20 March 2014, 09:08:47 pm
I agree - I often think if they could walk in our shoes for a day they would maybe understand why so many of us can seem so upfront about things.

At the end of the day though, he's the one who took time out of his day to try and bring you down. Be proud in who you are. I've had clients who comment how lovely I am in person compared to how blunt I am on my profile, which initially made me think "should I change it?" One guy told me I was too articulate and men didn't like that ::) others book me for my (alleged!) intelligence and recognise the wit in my blurb. Seriously, you'll never please everybody!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 March 2014, 09:17:52 pm
Absolutely.I once got told some clients don't like me saying thanks for reading my profile.I mean what the feck?!?
I just try and write a profile that sums up who I am,what I offer and what to expect if someone doesn't like it then away you go!
If I took on board every suggestion about profile writing I would go dolally considering every bloke is different and wants different things.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 20 March 2014, 10:12:30 pm
Yeah I mean I have questioned my own profile many times as I dont want to look grumpy but I've been advised by my clients not to because they say that anyone decent reading it will understand what I am trying to say so I have just left it.

If your not assertive then it causes all sorts of problems when they phone or turn up especially with my services being so vanilla, I feel I need to be extra clear about things.

You can't do right for doing wrong. Some guys will complain saying you have too many do's and dont's or you have a bad attitude etc YET if you weren't clear about stuff on your profile but told them in person then some might feel pissed off, cheated or even ripped off which isn't a nice situation for either of us to be in.

I am honest and my profile is completely accurate (apart from my age) so I don't know how else to write my profile unless I wrote a whole load of false information or misleading information!

Bottom line the guy who sent me that message this morning is a sad bastard who needs to stop being so judgemental about a person he doesn't even know and he should get a life! Imagine actually taking the time to send someone a text saying they don't seem nice........if I don't seem nice then why the hell bother texting me? Why not just spend your time texting people who do seem nice.  Seems to me that this guy just wants a push over!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 21 March 2014, 12:41:47 am
has you profile stopped you getting work? nope. These type of people think they are experts but they really wouldnt have a clue. Keep doing what you're doing as your the one bringing in the pounds :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 21 March 2014, 12:51:59 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 21 March 2014, 12:41:47 am
has you profile stopped you getting work? nope. These type of people think they are experts but they really wouldnt have a clue. Keep doing what you're doing as your the one bringing in the pounds :)

Good point, thank you  :D xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 21 March 2014, 03:31:22 pm
I received a polite email from a guy about an hour or so ago saying that he would like to meet........problem being is that he claims to be a male escort, is bisexual, likes rough sex, likes just about every service possible that I don't offer, is 24 and has hidden his feedback so I politely sent him an email declining his offer by saying that I prefer not to see men of my age group an that I do not like to meet bisexual men, do not like to meet other escorts and that I do not like rough sex. I also thanked him at the beginning of my message for sending me such a nice email......it was the info on his profile that completely put me off. All of the information is what I got from his own profile, he then replies with this....................

Hi

Thanks for your email. Not the nicest reply ever, but at least you've been upfront. That said, I read your profile to the letter and don't recall you stating anywhere that you didn't see guys who were bisexual and/or a similar age.

Perhaps that's something you should update, as my IQ of 131 and 9 years of university education were clearly not enough in the way of preparation to extract this information from your profile.

Thanks,
Steve

P.S. For what it's worth, I am not bisexual. I have had 1 single, fully safe bisexual encounter (and it appears you're open to that from a female point of view too), and simply haven't updated my profile since that one occasion. I do not offer any services out with this single, solitary experience. My profile contained sexually hyperbolic information in order to attract people of a particular sexuality as I was curious at the time. Thanks for making a judgement though. Hopefully you're nicer to the other genuine people that make contact with you.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 

Talk about patronising so I sent back this.............................

Lol! My response was polite, I read your profile and thought you weren't the right type of client for me. It's your own fault for taking it the way you have. I didn't judge you, I got the information from your profile. Your profile says you like rough sex which I DO NOT!! Your profile says you are an escort and I don't like to meet with other escorts and your profile says your BISEXUAL, how was I suppose to know how many men you'd been with? Lol! And I do not like to meet with bisexual men if I can help it!! (this is just my personal choice).

I shouldn't have responded at all but then you'd probably have went in the huff over that aswell!

I have my reasons for why I don't have certain things on my profile and that's none of your business, this my my mind, body and soul and I decide who I want to see based on how I feel about that person as an individual. I cannot not judge you as a person because I don't know you, I can only judge you as a potential client and going by the information on your own profile, I realised it isn't for me same as there will be many profiles on here that you don't like for whatever reason.

Despite your so called IQ, your showing your immaturity with your patronising message. Read my message again and you will see I was not rude at all, I simply declined and gave a reason why!

Anyone mature enough would see I am trying to save you from wasting your money on someone who is incompatible with you and I am trying to save myself an experience I wouldn't enjoy because like I said, I do not like rough sex!

I doubt that no matter what way I worded my email, you'd still have taken offence to the fact that I don't want to meet.

I refuse to meet many men based on many different things.

Actually shocked at your response to me saying I don't want to meet, am I not entitled to decline? Very, very odd way to act.

And 9 years at university but your only 24?? Well done you!

Oh and not to mention the fact that you've hidden your feedback which is a caution that any escort would be put off by!

I have many, many reasons why I wouldn't want to meet you and I'm well within my right. Your reply just confirms that I was right to say no!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Since I have wrote that message he has changed his whole profile from how much he loves ROUGH sex to how much he loves SAFE sex LOL!!! And he is now 31 years old!!

Despite his email being polite, I could still tell he was a wrong yin!!

My reason for leaving out the fact that I don't see guys of my own age on m profile is because that's not completely true. I don't see guys of my own age group if I don't like the sound of them for whatever reason same as I don't see guys of any age that I don't like the sound of. I do see guys of my own age group if they sound decent........I have many lovely clients who are young and that I trust with discretion etc. If I don't like the sound of someone then I may tell them that I don't see guys of my own age group to avoid offending them or to avoid abuse which is what I would get if I told them I just didn't like the sound of them.

So as far as I am concerned my profile is accurate, I have said that I only meet clients that I am comfortable to meet, who have read my profile, who are respectful etc and that applies to anyone of any age, race and what not. The second you start saying I don't see this group of people or that group of people is when it causes problems because then you are NOT judging that person as an individual. Just because one 24 year old is an arse doesn't mean the next 24 year old is an arse. I have had many middle aged men who are complete arses so that would mean I'd have to avoid all middle aged men too but I didn't feel I had to explain al this to that guy. I gave my reasons why I didn't want to see him personally and he hits me with that pathetic message  ::)

Regards rough sex, I enjoy it slow and sensual or hard and fast depending on the mood and the person I am having sex with as sex is all about compatibility in my eyes but the thought of some stranger coming in and being rough with me makes me anxious. I have had guys of all ages come in and almost eat my face off when kissing me, grab my face, fuck me so hard it hurts because I am not turned on by them in the slightest because they have pounced on me the second they walk in, poke my eye out and punch me in the face (by accident because they are getting so carried away with their rough sex) and not to mention the hair pulling when I have extensions.

With him being bisexual and liking rough sex, I had visions of condoms breaking and who knows what he's been doing if he's bisexual? I have to take my sexual health serious.

I had a client the other nite who was as cool as a cucumber, really nice guy and loved his company.......he worked me up gently so I was genuinely turned on and soaking wet followed by a good, hard pounding which I LOVED!! That's the way to do it!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: shatteredpan on 21 March 2014, 03:37:23 pm
Ick. I got one.

One of my clients accidentally gave me the wrong address (he says he's got 'fat thumbs'). So I showed up at the wrong house, looking like an idiot, which was bad enough (I hate it when they do that, spell-check people!!!). Of course, the guy who lives in the house was confused at first as to what I was doing on his porch, but he guessed what I do for a living from the way I was dressed or smelled or something. He asked me to come in, dropped his pants, and then asked me for a 'sample of what I could do'.

I calmly and politely explained to him that I don't do freebies, any more than a plumber would fix your toilet for free because he loves plumbing that much. He said he had nothing to give me for compensation, but wanted to make an appointment for tomorrow. I let him take down my number ? I don't know why, I guess I just wasn't in the mood to argue (and he said he would call ? I make all my appointments through text).

He then bear-hugged me, and started forcing me to kiss him. I knew he didn't want there to be a commotion (he'd mentioned he was married), so I just kept struggling. Finally, I push him off me and storm to the door. The whole way there, he's touching me, grabbing me. At the door, he blocks me and says something like, 'just a little and then you may go'.

So I just kinda lightly stroked the mace canister I keep on my key chain, and I got a lot more firm and mean. I guess I scared him, because he got pissed and shoved me out of his house. It was a lot more irritating than frightening, mostly because I knew I wasn't in any real danger. Last thing that guy would want is the cops showing up, asking his wife what happened. :/
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 21 March 2014, 03:43:55 pm
He just sent me an email saying he is 31 so has no idea where I got 24 from  ::) He also told me that I should rewrite my profile being clear about age etc but as I just explained in my last post, I wont be doing that as it discriminates a whole group of people unfairly!

He has completely changed his profile since I first read it, probably feels like a right fudd for saying he has a 9 year university education at the age of 24 and why would he send me an email saying that I should make it clear on my profile that I don't see guys of a similar/same age if he's 31 ad NOT 24?? Crazy!

He also told me that I shouldn't judge him on his profile  ::) So what do I judge him on then? I don't know him so how else can I judge a potential client?

Wow what a nutter, really! Actually making out that I have misread his profile when he has completely changed his whole profile, has deleted all the gumf he had about rough sex and how he loves to give facials etc to hardly any content at all. Has changed his age from 24 to 31 and has changed his profile summary from LOVES ROUGH SEX TO LOVES SAFE SEX!!

And his profile say's it was last updated TODAY  ::)

I have blocked him now  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 21 March 2014, 03:53:05 pm
Quote from: D on 21 March 2014, 03:37:23 pm
Ick. I got one.

One of my clients accidentally gave me the wrong address (he says he's got 'fat thumbs'). So I showed up at the wrong house, looking like an idiot, which was bad enough (I hate it when they do that, spell-check people!!!). Of course, the guy who lives in the house was confused at first as to what I was doing on his porch, but he guessed what I do for a living from the way I was dressed or smelled or something. He asked me to come in, dropped his pants, and then asked me for a 'sample of what I could do'.

I calmly and politely explained to him that I don't do freebies, any more than a plumber would fix your toilet for free because he loves plumbing that much. He said he had nothing to give me for compensation, but wanted to make an appointment for tomorrow. I let him take down my number ? I don't know why, I guess I just wasn't in the mood to argue (and he said he would call ? I make all my appointments through text).

He then bear-hugged me, and started forcing me to kiss him. I knew he didn't want there to be a commotion (he'd mentioned he was married), so I just kept struggling. Finally, I push him off me and storm to the door. The whole way there, he's touching me, grabbing me. At the door, he blocks me and says something like, 'just a little and then you may go'.

So I just kinda lightly stroked the mace canister I keep on my key chain, and I got a lot more firm and mean. I guess I scared him, because he got pissed and shoved me out of his house. It was a lot more irritating than frightening, mostly because I knew I wasn't in any real danger. Last thing that guy would want is the cops showing up, asking his wife what happened. :/

I think this belongs in the warning section. WTF???? That's a new one. Are you sure this wasn't the client himself (fat thumbs as a excuse) who pulled this stunt to try and get a grope and a freebie? What are the chances of you turning up to the wrong house, him being alone and pouncing on you like that?

What ever happened I hope you aren't considering going back there as you said you have him your number?

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: shatteredpan on 21 March 2014, 06:11:52 pm
That was my first thought, so as soon as I left, I called the guy and he gave me the right address; it was right down the road and I can see how he could put in the wrong number. Thought about posting in the warning section. I know a lot of those postings are centered in the UK, and I'm in America... but I also know there's probably a lot of American lurkers on here... this is the only community that really comes up in the search engines from what I can tell. I don't have the creep's number or anything, though. He never called, I'm hoping his wife found my number written down or something and he got in trouble :/ And yeah, even if he did call, I wouldn't go back. Just a little and then I can leave? I'll leave whenever I please!

You had to block your guy? That's pretty bad behavior coming from a male escort.... Really, he should know better than anyone to respect someone's boundaries and not all people click sexually :\

And why even bring up his IQ?

"I'm smart, therefore your rules shouldn't apply to me?!" |D I don't understand why it's so hard for some people to respect other people's limits ><
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 21 March 2014, 08:46:26 pm
Hey sweetie

Yeah your right this site is mostly UK based but there are many American ladies who are members and there will be plenty of lurkers.

If you don't have this guys number then fair enough but if you have his address then maybe you could give the heads up on that. Maybe post the street name and state/area but don't post the house number, anyone who wants more info can PM you and ask for it!

Seeing you may have put the idea to see an escort in his mind and he clearly doesn't understand any rules or boundary's. I feel sorry for any escort who ends up seeing someone like that.

Do you do proper outcall checks before you set off?

Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MaddieMoo on 22 March 2014, 01:51:44 am
Had a guy email a couple of days in advance, very polite, level-headed correspondence. Then I gave him my number by email to ring to confirm a booking for last night. Hear nothing from him, take on a booking with someone else. He texts me at 11.30pm last night with "Hi love is it too late to see you tonight?" Asking for Thursday evening and promising to give good notice and to call, noting my working hours,  doesn't equate to texting a lady that late at night when it will take 2 hours to get to you and arrange a driver. When the ones that come across well over email and have good feedback are so silly I'm like *SIGH!!!!*  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pandora on 22 March 2014, 08:16:46 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 21 March 2014, 03:53:05 pm
Quote from: D on 21 March 2014, 03:37:23 pm
Ick. I got one.

One of my clients accidentally gave me the wrong address (he says he's got 'fat thumbs'). So I showed up at the wrong house, looking like an idiot, which was bad enough (I hate it when they do that, spell-check people!!!). Of course, the guy who lives in the house was confused at first as to what I was doing on his porch, but he guessed what I do for a living from the way I was dressed or smelled or something. He asked me to come in, dropped his pants, and then asked me for a 'sample of what I could do'.

I calmly and politely explained to him that I don't do freebies, any more than a plumber would fix your toilet for free because he loves plumbing that much. He said he had nothing to give me for compensation, but wanted to make an appointment for tomorrow. I let him take down my number ? I don't know why, I guess I just wasn't in the mood to argue (and he said he would call ? I make all my appointments through text).

He then bear-hugged me, and started forcing me to kiss him. I knew he didn't want there to be a commotion (he'd mentioned he was married), so I just kept struggling. Finally, I push him off me and storm to the door. The whole way there, he's touching me, grabbing me. At the door, he blocks me and says something like, 'just a little and then you may go'.

So I just kinda lightly stroked the mace canister I keep on my key chain, and I got a lot more firm and mean. I guess I scared him, because he got pissed and shoved me out of his house. It was a lot more irritating than frightening, mostly because I knew I wasn't in any real danger. Last thing that guy would want is the cops showing up, asking his wife what happened. :/

I think this belongs in the warning section. WTF???? That's a new one. Are you sure this wasn't the client himself (fat thumbs as a excuse) who pulled this stunt to try and get a grope and a freebie? What are the chances of you turning up to the wrong house, him being alone and pouncing on you like that?

What ever happened I hope you aren't considering going back there as you said you have him your number?

xx

Of course it was the same man you spoke to. If it hadn't been, he would have rung you as a no show, not you ringing him to tell him what happened. He got a double whammy from you.

Just a word from the more experienced. Never get out of your car at an outcall unless you are SURE the client is in the house. Ring him from your car, which should be parked slightly out of sight of his house. Ask him to turn a porch light on/upstairs light on. So that you KNOW he is in the house. If not, drive away.

The minute he opened the door and didn't seem to know who you were, you should have walked. If you were OBVIOUSLY a hooker when he opened the door then you should have known he was a timewaster. A word of advice, always dress discretely when arriving to prevent the "look see punter" - as you have here - getting a jolly.

I always wear a long coat over my outfit, or a pair of trousers.

Just thank your lucky stars you didn't have a worse time. Please put both numbers and details in the warnings section. You have been royally turned over I am afraid.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 22 March 2014, 10:40:04 am
"Hi

I hope you are well.

I have been away from here for sometime and we all know how important feedback is on our profiles,
Was wondering if you are prepared for me to do a dummy booking with you so we can both leave each other amazing feedback to help our profiles.
Please let me know if you would be willing to do this, I then can put a dummy booking through and we can leave each other feedback

Thanks once again"

Errrmm....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 22 March 2014, 11:13:46 am
Oh great, I wonder how much this actually goes on? I'm loosing faith in the AW feedback system by the day. Had a guy email me at 2am this morning asking if I was available and he had glowing feedback. As if my profile isn't clear enough, I even have an availability tab and if I was available at stupid o'clock......does he think I sit in my underwear 24/7 staring at a laptop waiting on the emails rolling in? Some of them are so thoughtless it's unreal lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 22 March 2014, 11:18:44 am
Yep I had a text at 5am saying 'Sorry for the short notice but can you come to my hotel for an outcall...'now aside from the fact my hours are in bold at the top of my page..10am until 9pm, I am curious as to how the hell he was going to get me discreetly into his room given the hotel entrance would be locked at that time.Was he going to come down and let me in or was I going to buzz the night porter? Because of course that wouldn't be obvious at all would it? A classic case of pissed and didn't manage to pull on a friday night and thinking with his willy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 22 March 2014, 11:44:07 am
I'm 11am till 10pm and my last appointment for the hour would be 9pm but if I have reached my target/limit earlier in the day then I will stop even if it's 3 in the afternoon!

I leave my phone on through the nite but put it in silent so I can save the numbers of the guys who phone me during the nite cause again that shows completely lack of thought, respect and total ignorance and bad manners. I'd never phone someone at a crazy hour. If someone phoned them during the nite, I wonder how they would like it? All I know is I don't want to meet them EVER!

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 22 March 2014, 12:02:34 pm
I think alot of it is pure ignorance, some guys assume its like a soho walk-in, open all hours. Some just don't think of us as normal human beings who sleep and have a personal life and I suppose why would they?They don't read the profile they just see a strap line and scroll for the number. At that moment in time they just have the horn and I guess because some girls do work all hours the assumption is we all do.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 22 March 2014, 12:06:50 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 22 March 2014, 11:13:46 am
Oh great, I wonder how much this actually goes on? I'm loosing faith in the AW feedback system by the day. Had a guy email me at 2am this morning asking if I was available and he had glowing feedback. As if my profile isn't clear enough, I even have an availability tab and if I was available at stupid o'clock......does he think I sit in my underwear 24/7 staring at a laptop waiting on the emails rolling in? Some of them are so thoughtless it's unreal lol x

The guy had 42 feedback too, not a single negative or neutral. I wonder how many were dummy ones...

I would never do this, why would I want to put glowing fb for someone who could potentially be a nutjob? That would just leaves me partially to blame when some other girl sees it and accepts his appointment!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tasha92 on 22 March 2014, 01:43:14 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 22 March 2014, 12:06:50 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 22 March 2014, 11:13:46 am
Oh great, I wonder how much this actually goes on? I'm loosing faith in the AW feedback system by the day. Had a guy email me at 2am this morning asking if I was available and he had glowing feedback. As if my profile isn't clear enough, I even have an availability tab and if I was available at stupid o'clock......does he think I sit in my underwear 24/7 staring at a laptop waiting on the emails rolling in? Some of them are so thoughtless it's unreal lol x

This does worry me as to the validity of some guys feedback :-(

The guy had 42 feedback too, not a single negative or neutral. I wonder how many were dummy ones...

I would never do this, why would I want to put glowing fb for someone who could potentially be a nutjob? That would just leaves me partially to blame when some other girl sees it and accepts his appointment!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 22 March 2014, 06:49:24 pm
I was wondering whether you might be available for half hour booking tonight? My budget is ?70.

Guy has 45 glowing feedback  ::)

I politely told him that he was ?30 short for a booking with me and that if he had a budget then he should stick to girls within his budget or put through a reverse booking to see who bids as that's one way to get a girl to reduce her rates WITHOUT offending her as it's her choice to bid!

I have many reasons why my half hour rate is at it is, not that it's any of their business. Why do they contact us when they clearly see something's on our profile that they don't like?  :FF
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hideawayx on 24 March 2014, 10:44:48 pm
God loves a trier :P

I have the same guy message me every other day asking as politely as anyone could to allow bb with him  :o Guessing he tried it with everyone lots of good feedback they try their luck don't they

x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 25 March 2014, 01:02:58 am
Had a real arsehole text me today, I only responded because I thought he was the guy I was speaking to just minutes before in an email....anyway he asks what my address is because there are certain areas he doesn't like (which is fair enough and he's completely entitled to avoid certain places if he doesn't feel comfortable). This is how the texts went...........

Him: Can you let me know your address, it's just that I am not keen on some parts of Glasgow and then I will book through AdultWork.

Me: Sorry who's this?

Him: I hope I have text the right number, is this K?

Me: Yes it is me but I am sorry, I don't give out my address to complete strangers that I haven't even spoken to, please call me.

Him: Lol ok areas I don't go to are Possil, Maryhill, Gorballs & Dennistoun. If you are not based there then I will book through AW.

Me: No I am not in any of those areas and please don't book through AW as this is not how you book me. My profile is very clear, my booking procedure is very clear and I have already told you that I do not give out any details through a text nor would I take a booking this way from someone I haven't even spoken to, I've asked you to call which you've ignored and proceeded to send more texts so I think your best to see someone else.

Him: I think your way too serious about this, no harm in asking your address as I drive a 60 grand car which would stick out in these areas, I see you see ******* and ******* (which are 2 usernames of clients I have met several times that are very well known clients in Glasgow as they see multiple girls and use forums but are the loveliest clients ever and I speak to them daily)  so I will give them your regards.

Me: I am good friends with ****** and ******* so I will give them my regards myself. If you don't like my booking procedure then why are you bothering me? And yes I do take my safety serious, on the other hand you could be someone from my private life trying to trick me into giving you my address, I need to speak and hear the voice of the complete stranger on the other end of the phone before I give them details like that and offer them an appointment. You've very rude, narrow minded and ignorant and I feel I have dodged a bullet in not meeting you!

Him: Your clearly young and silly and I agree only it's me who's dodged a bullet. Do not text me again.

Me: Wait a minute.....I am young, silly and too serious because I won't give you, a complete stranger that refuses to follow my procedure my address?? Wow!

Him: Do not text me again!!!

So this fucking head case thinks I am the one with the problem?? How ignorant and narrow minded can one get? The 2 men he said he knew have never heard of him and he only got really defensive when I said I was friends with them so he's just used their name cause he recognises it on lots of girls feedback and on forums! I think he could be a potential boundary pusher since he doesn't accept what's on a profile, he obviously read mine but just didn't want to accept it!

I would urge all girls in Glasgow to avoid this arse like the plague, feel free to email me for his details. He might not be dangerous but I can't see how anyone could enjoy spending time with someone so arrogant and ignorant!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kazzle on 25 March 2014, 03:04:21 pm
According to his profile this man is 52.  This is the entire contents of the email he sent me:

Hi ru av and where ru

At least he didn't use bb.  ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RR on 25 March 2014, 06:01:19 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 25 March 2014, 01:02:58 am

Him: Lol ok areas I don't go to are Possil, Maryhill, Gorballs & Dennistoun. If you are not based there then I will book through AW.


LMAO well I've been based in two of those areas - both of which were "upmarket fancy flats" with all the bells and whistles, so he's talking pish. I'm also pretty familiar with the other two, one I'll give him credit for as I wouldn't like being in either, and the other... well like most major cities its a simple matter of turning a corner and instantly being in a shithole. My area isn't going to win any gardening show awards either but CCTV everywhere, secure parking and money towards a house deposit rather than a landlord's savings does me just fine. And I've had clients in 'swish' cars park up here (whereas my friend who drove a M plate Micra got hers nicked a few streets away... wot with his ?60k car he should be aware that its easier to steal a shabby/older car anyway) and the first thing they comment on is how secure and quiet my place is.

Can you PM me his details please PP and if he messages me I'll be sure to tell him to fuck off back to Newton Mearns in his ?60k mid life crisis mobile block him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hideawayx on 25 March 2014, 09:55:38 pm
Quote from: RR on 25 March 2014, 06:01:19 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 25 March 2014, 01:02:58 am

Him: Lol ok areas I don't go to are Possil, Maryhill, Gorballs & Dennistoun. If you are not based there then I will book through AW.


LMAO well I've been based in two of those areas - both of which were "upmarket fancy flats" with all the bells and whistles, so he's talking pish. I'm also pretty familiar with the other two, one I'll give him credit for as I wouldn't like being in either, and the other... well like most major cities its a simple matter of turning a corner and instantly being in a shithole. My area isn't going to win any gardening show awards either but CCTV everywhere, secure parking and money towards a house deposit rather than a landlord's savings does me just fine. And I've had clients in 'swish' cars park up here (whereas my friend who drove a M plate Micra got hers nicked a few streets away... wot with his ?60k car he should be aware that its easier to steal a shabby/older car anyway) and the first thing they comment on is how secure and quiet my place is.

Can you PM me his details please PP and if he messages me I'll be sure to tell him to fuck off back to Newton Mearns in his ?60k mid life crisis mobile block him.

Brilliant lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 26 March 2014, 03:44:23 pm
This is a rather random one! Just got this text:

"Hiya hunni.its mistress brooke hampton here.could you help me out with something please xx "

When I Googled the phone number the top result was the Twitter account of a girl called Brooke Hampton who is a US college student as far as I can tell, so not sure how her Twitter has been linked to a UK mobile number.

I also found a result on a page called "The phone book of Howells Travis" where the number is listed as belonging to someone with a distinctly male name who lives in the UK.

Also a Google search for "mistress brooke hampton" bring up a couple of backpage ads of a Mistress Brooke based in the US in a place called Hampton.

No results on Saafe or any of the usual bad client type places, and I don't intend to reply, just wondering if anyone else has encountered this before or knows how searching a UK phone number can get a US person's Twitter as a Google result? If it wasn't for these weird Google results I would have already ignored and moved on after receiving a message from someone clearly hoping to get off on pretending to be another escort (I've been fooled by that one before!).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: vixen viki on 26 March 2014, 04:04:14 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 25 March 2014, 01:02:58 am

Him: Lol ok areas I don't go to are Possil, Maryhill, Gorballs & Dennistoun. If you are not based there then I will book through AW.


Well damn, I just bought a flat in one of these areas! guess I won't get to see this lovely individual  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 26 March 2014, 04:45:22 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 26 March 2014, 03:44:23 pm
This is a rather random one! Just got this text:

"Hiya hunni.its mistress brooke hampton here.could you help me out with something please xx "

When I Googled the phone number the top result was the Twitter account of a girl called Brooke Hampton who is a US college student as far as I can tell, so not sure how her Twitter has been linked to a UK mobile number.

I also found a result on a page called "The phone book of Howells Travis" where the number is listed as belonging to someone with a distinctly male name who lives in the UK.

Also a Google search for "mistress brooke hampton" bring up a couple of backpage ads of a Mistress Brooke based in the US in a place called Hampton.

No results on Saafe or any of the usual bad client type places, and I don't intend to reply, just wondering if anyone else has encountered this before or knows how searching a UK phone number can get a US person's Twitter as a Google result? If it wasn't for these weird Google results I would have already ignored and moved on after receiving a message from someone clearly hoping to get off on pretending to be another escort (I've been fooled by that one before!).

Yes as we've always known but in my case been reminded lately that text messages can me written by absolutely anyone pretending to be whoever they want. It's baffles me that so many escorts take bookings via text message x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RR on 26 March 2014, 05:04:21 pm
Quote from: vixen viki on 26 March 2014, 04:04:14 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 25 March 2014, 01:02:58 am

Him: Lol ok areas I don't go to are Possil, Maryhill, Gorballs & Dennistoun. If you are not based there then I will book through AW.


Well damn, I just bought a flat in one of these areas! guess I won't get to see this lovely individual  ::)

Me neither - gonna cry myself to sleep
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 26 March 2014, 08:08:31 pm
Just had a pure creep phone me, he was young and goes by the name of Omar I think.......

Me: Hello

Him: Can I see you tonight?

Me: No sorry it's a bit late to be organising a booking and I require plenty of notice for a booking sorry but I am available tomorrow?

Him: It's tonight I want?

Me: Sorry I can't see you tonight!

Then he texts.........

Him: I was really looking for tonight?

Me: Yeah that's 3 times you've told me you were looking for tonight, I am not available!

Him: Don't worry I will shag you one of these days!

Me: Nice.

Him: You better be worth the wait!!

Me: I do not want to meet you, I do not like your attitude.....it's creepy, arrogant and a major turn off. I offer limited services, going by your better be worth the wait comment.....I doubt you've read my profile and I am selective about who I see so please don't call or text again!

Him: Perfect I love a prossy with morals. I will fuck you (call you from a different number) then I shall text you from this number once I am finished so you know it's me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 26 March 2014, 08:22:54 pm
The last few days for the real oddballs has been a nightmare for me, struggling to keep myself motivated and happy with these bastards. I need to see a good regular to remind me not all clients are bad with the way I am feeling right now  :( x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 26 March 2014, 08:36:56 pm
Same here, had some real arseholes this week, texts such as "working?" Calls beginning with "Are you clean?" , really gets me down so also looking forward to a few regulars tomorrow x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 26 March 2014, 08:38:06 pm
He's now just text me to say he will fuck me and that's a promise!

Feel sick  :'(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 26 March 2014, 08:39:00 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 26 March 2014, 08:36:56 pm
Same here, had some real arseholes this week, texts such as "working?" Calls beginning with "Are you clean?" , really gets me down so also looking forward to a few regulars tomorrow x
Those kind of texts are obviously numpty's but they wouldn't make me worried about my safety such as some of the stunts I've had pulled on me this week x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hideawayx on 26 March 2014, 09:09:20 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 26 March 2014, 08:08:31 pm
Just had a pure creep phone me, he was young and goes by the name of Omar I think.......

Me: Hello

Him: Can I see you tonight?

Me: No sorry it's a bit late to be organising a booking and I require plenty of notice for a booking sorry but I am available tomorrow?

Him: It's tonight I want?

Me: Sorry I can't see you tonight!

Then he texts.........

Him: I was really looking for tonight?

Me: Yeah that's 3 times you've told me you were looking for tonight, I am not available!

Him: Don't worry I will shag you one of these days!

Me: Nice.

Him: You better be worth the wait!!

Me: I do not want to meet you, I do not like your attitude.....it's creepy, arrogant and a major turn off. I offer limited services, going by your better be worth the wait comment.....I doubt you've read my profile and I am selective about who I see so please don't call or text again!

Him: Perfect I love a prossy with morals. I will fuck you (call you from a different number) then I shall text you from this number once I am finished so you know it's me.

What a horrible thought, FREAK!

I'm new to escorting, I have only been on AW for the last month or so. I haven't put a number on my profile yet because I'm so wary about situations like this,
Pink princess what will you do now? Block him? How would you know if its him ringing again in the future? At least booking through emails you can see their profiles, their feedback their alises can get them to send a photo and if i turned up and it wasnt them I'd go home annoyed lol.
I know its not foolproof but must be better than a random person over the phone???
Also what's the difference between text and call other than you can tell if they are male or female... anyone can put on an accent or put someone else on the phone.
Can they text for free if I put a number on my profile?

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 26 March 2014, 09:47:26 pm
The difference between text and a phonecall is you can tell alot more about someone by how they speak to you.Also you have a better chance of knowing if it is actually a client and not a kid messing about.
If you publish your number people can text you just the same as ringing you,not sure what you mean by is it free?Some ladies only give out a number once they have been emailed,some publish their number as a matter of course.Myself I won't accept text or email bookings from people I don't know,at some point I will want a quick chat on the phone,it also gets rid of a fair few timewasters/text pests.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hideawayx on 26 March 2014, 09:53:39 pm
Thanks,

Think I was getting confused with phone chat.
I can imagine I'd get a lot more timewasters over the phone
xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 26 March 2014, 10:00:15 pm
We all get timewasters whether its via the phone or via text or via email.The difference is its quicker to tell on the phone i think and easier to log them as a knob.Alot of clients prefer to be able to ring quickly to book rather than wait for emails but each lady finds her own way of working.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 27 March 2014, 12:00:49 am
Quote from: hideawayx on 26 March 2014, 09:09:20 pm
At least booking through emails you can see their profiles, their feedback their alises can get them to send a photo and if i turned up and it wasnt them I'd go home annoyed lol.

Firstly, you're conflating 'emails' with 'Adultwork'. I take most bookings by email, but they come via my site and other ads and not AW so there's no 'feedback' and no 'profile' to see. This puts me in no better/worse position, because Adultwork feedback/profiles don't tell me anything useful and it's important to remember that ALL new punters are random people, because you don't know them :).

If you're thinking of trying to get punters to send a photo of themselves, I'd advise you don't - I can't imagine anybody would agree to it as punting isn't dating, and you don't have any good reason to know what they look like? Part of the point is anonymity, and that's some of what they're paying for.

Quote from: hideawayx on 26 March 2014, 09:09:20 pm
I know its not foolproof but must be better than a random person over the phone???
Also what's the difference between text and call other than you can tell if they are male or female

It depends on how you work - I don't think phone calls are necessarily any better for reading people than texts or emails, and a lot of people come over badly on the phone (me included, and I avoid using it at all costs bar for confirmations unless I'm working somewhere that means a lot of short notice appointments). The useful part is basically the bit you've figured out above (and I'd add being able to tell it isn't a child messing about, too).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 27 March 2014, 10:26:57 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 26 March 2014, 08:08:31 pm
Just had a pure creep phone me, he was young and goes by the name of Omar I think.......

Me: Hello

Him: Can I see you tonight?

Me: No sorry it's a bit late to be organising a booking and I require plenty of notice for a booking sorry but I am available tomorrow?

Him: It's tonight I want?

Me: Sorry I can't see you tonight!

Then he texts.........

Him: I was really looking for tonight?

Me: Yeah that's 3 times you've told me you were looking for tonight, I am not available!

Him: Don't worry I will shag you one of these days!

Me: Nice.

Him: You better be worth the wait!!

Me: I do not want to meet you, I do not like your attitude.....it's creepy, arrogant and a major turn off. I offer limited services, going by your better be worth the wait comment.....I doubt you've read my profile and I am selective about who I see so please don't call or text again!

Him: Perfect I love a prossy with morals. I will fuck you (call you from a different number) then I shall text you from this number once I am finished so you know it's me.

What a twat!

But this is why you should probably be a little more bland and less combative. One of these days you really are going to piss off a nutter who will do exactly what he's threatening.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 27 March 2014, 10:30:16 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 26 March 2014, 08:22:54 pm
The last few days for the real oddballs has been a nightmare for me, struggling to keep myself motivated and happy with these bastards. I need to see a good regular to remind me not all clients are bad with the way I am feeling right now  :( x

Yeah! I'm getting calls and emails from guys asking for domination stuff when I say on my profile that I don't do it. I do offer a playful tie-and-tease so I sort of forgive them for being confused... but I don't have "BDSM" or "Face Sitting" or "Watersports" checked and they're asking for those sort of things.

I had a guy email asking for a session with "mild domination" and I didn't answer primarily because the whole email was stilted and formal and had kvetching about his marriage in it and then he whinged that I hadn't replied so I did to say "I'm sorry I didn't reply. That sort of session doesn't appeal to me" and he wrote back a LOOOOONG email rebutting me. For fuck's sake - take "no" for an answer!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roseanna on 27 March 2014, 11:06:25 am
Quote from: KimberlyC on 27 March 2014, 10:26:57 am
But this is why you should probably be a little more bland and less combative. One of these days you really are going to piss off a nutter who will do exactly what he's threatening.

+1

I never get involved is those kinds of dialogues. When the alarm bells sound the last thing you should do is tell them why you are not available.

I never accept new bookings unless I have heard the guys voice on the phone either.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 27 March 2014, 11:09:11 am
Getting wound up with blokes that seem shocked when they ring and give me 10 mins notice and I can't see them.
Last night I got an email at around 2am from a genuine sounding bloke wanting to see me before his train at 11:15am.I replied this was possible but he would need to confirm a time pretty soon as I was on my way to bed. 15 mins later he said he could not commit to a time...given I start at 10am and he was going for a train at 11;15 it gave him an hours window to book,surely he would have known within 30 mins of that time slot?
Anyway at 10:20 he rang to say he was in the centre and could I see him...er no...then a text from a regular wanting a booking within 15 mins.Just feeling stressed at the minute and like every guy seems to think I sit around waiting for them to confirm or I sit in my lingerie just waiting for their particular call. The ones that make me laugh are the ones that say 'Oh I'll try elsewhere then'.You just know they are going to spend that 10 mins ringing around a few other girls so why they just don;t book you and give you a few extra mins to get ready for them is beyond me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 27 March 2014, 11:50:31 am
Quote from: KimberlyC on 27 March 2014, 10:26:57 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 26 March 2014, 08:08:31 pm
Just had a pure creep phone me, he was young and goes by the name of Omar I think.......

Me: Hello

Him: Can I see you tonight?

Me: No sorry it's a bit late to be organising a booking and I require plenty of notice for a booking sorry but I am available tomorrow?

Him: It's tonight I want?

Me: Sorry I can't see you tonight!

Then he texts.........

Him: I was really looking for tonight?

Me: Yeah that's 3 times you've told me you were looking for tonight, I am not available!

Him: Don't worry I will shag you one of these days!

Me: Nice.

Him: You better be worth the wait!!

Me: I do not want to meet you, I do not like your attitude.....it's creepy, arrogant and a major turn off. I offer limited services, going by your better be worth the wait comment.....I doubt you've read my profile and I am selective about who I see so please don't call or text again!

Him: Perfect I love a prossy with morals. I will fuck you (call you from a different number) then I shall text you from this number once I am finished so you know it's me.

What a twat!

But this is why you should probably be a little more bland and less combative. One of these days you really are going to piss off a nutter who will do exactly what he's threatening.

I agree, your 100% right. I won't be giving anyone a reason why I don't want to see them again, think I just react sometimes cause I think to myself who the fuck do thy think they are saying they will shag me one of these days and I better be worth the wait?? Do they think that's turning me on? Really? No he's a creep, it's as if I think to myself that telling them they are a creep that maybe they will sort themselves out. If I was a guy, being called a creep would be the worst thing ever, who wants to be known as a creep? But have realised these people are just bad people and they don't care they are bad no matter what your call them x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 27 March 2014, 11:56:40 am
Quote from: roseanna on 27 March 2014, 11:06:25 am
Quote from: KimberlyC on 27 March 2014, 10:26:57 am
But this is why you should probably be a little more bland and less combative. One of these days you really are going to piss off a nutter who will do exactly what he's threatening.

+1

I never get involved is those kinds of dialogues. When the alarm bells sound the last thing you should do is tell them why you are not available.

I never accept new bookings unless I have heard the guys voice on the phone either.

I did speak to the guy and told him 3 times that I wasn't available as he was wanting a last minute appointment at about 9 at nite or something. His voice sounded ok, that's why I said I could see him tomorrow but he suddenly started sending me these stupid texts after I got off the phone.

With the amount of weirdos I get each day on the phone, I don't tell them all why I won't see them......just the odd guy who is really getting on my nerves but I agree that I definitely just need to try and avoid telling any of them why I won't see them and just ignore them instead.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 27 March 2014, 11:57:52 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 27 March 2014, 11:50:31 am

I agree, your 100% right. I won't be giving anyone a reason why I don't want to see them again, think I just react sometimes cause I think to myself who the fuck do thy think they are saying they will shag me one of these days and I better be worth the wait?? Do they think that's turning me on? Really? No he's a creep, it's as if I think to myself that telling them they are a creep that maybe they will sort themselves out. If I was a guy, being called a creep would be the worst thing ever, who wants to be known as a creep? But have realised these people are just bad people and they don't care they are bad no matter what your call them x

Sometimes I'm just about to start typing and remind myself "I'm not getting paid to do this."

I've got an email from a creepo in my inbox - one who gets butthurt if you don't reply - and I'm going to have to come up with something very bland to say. Generally, I'd just ignore it altogether. I'll reply this one time and if he replies then I won't bother again.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 27 March 2014, 12:01:13 pm
Quote from: KimberlyC on 27 March 2014, 11:57:52 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 27 March 2014, 11:50:31 am

I agree, your 100% right. I won't be giving anyone a reason why I don't want to see them again, think I just react sometimes cause I think to myself who the fuck do thy think they are saying they will shag me one of these days and I better be worth the wait?? Do they think that's turning me on? Really? No he's a creep, it's as if I think to myself that telling them they are a creep that maybe they will sort themselves out. If I was a guy, being called a creep would be the worst thing ever, who wants to be known as a creep? But have realised these people are just bad people and they don't care they are bad no matter what your call them x


Sometimes I'm just about to start typing and remind myself "I'm not getting paid to do this."

I've got an email from a creepo in my inbox - one who gets butthurt if you don't reply - and I'm going to have to come up with something very bland to say. Generally, I'd just ignore it altogether. I'll reply this one time and if he replies then I won't bother again.

Couldn't you just block him? x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 27 March 2014, 12:05:03 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 27 March 2014, 12:01:13 pm
Quote from: KimberlyC on 27 March 2014, 11:57:52 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 27 March 2014, 11:50:31 am

I agree, your 100% right. I won't be giving anyone a reason why I don't want to see them again, think I just react sometimes cause I think to myself who the fuck do thy think they are saying they will shag me one of these days and I better be worth the wait?? Do they think that's turning me on? Really? No he's a creep, it's as if I think to myself that telling them they are a creep that maybe they will sort themselves out. If I was a guy, being called a creep would be the worst thing ever, who wants to be known as a creep? But have realised these people are just bad people and they don't care they are bad no matter what your call them x


Sometimes I'm just about to start typing and remind myself "I'm not getting paid to do this."

I've got an email from a creepo in my inbox - one who gets butthurt if you don't reply - and I'm going to have to come up with something very bland to say. Generally, I'd just ignore it altogether. I'll reply this one time and if he replies then I won't bother again.

Couldn't you just block him? x

I could. It's just as easy to simply not reply. I'm not bothered by seeing their messages. But he's being very polite - he's just emotionally needy and weird. I'm willing to give one last polite brush-off and after that I'm done.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 27 March 2014, 12:23:47 pm
It's one of those days.Had a guy book for 12 for a 15 min quickie and at 12:05 I had to ring to ask if he was on his way...'Oh yeah I'm 5 mins away' so why am I having to ring you to find out you are going to be 10 mins late?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 27 March 2014, 01:09:17 pm
Quote from: bibi on 27 March 2014, 12:23:47 pm
It's one of those days.Had a guy book for 12 for a 15 min quickie and at 12:05 I had to ring to ask if he was on his way...'Oh yeah I'm 5 mins away' so why am I having to ring you to find out you are going to be 10 mins late?

This is why I don't offer quickies anymore. I'd be thrilled to do them if they'd be very prompt and easy to schedule but I find they eat up as much of my day as 30-minute bookings. And 12 noon is Prime Time!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 27 March 2014, 01:19:12 pm
To be fair I get this sort of thing on all lengths of booking so it's not something I associate with 15 min quickies but it's bloody rude and I did tell him nicely that in future if he is late to let me know as I will start to knock it off peoples times.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 27 March 2014, 01:23:51 pm
The difference between an hour booking and a 15 minute booking is, if someone is 10-15 mins late on a 15 minute appointment then he's missed his WHOLE appointment whereas on an hour appointment, I often have client a stuck in traffic and a really don't mind as long as they let me know x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 27 March 2014, 01:38:25 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 27 March 2014, 01:23:51 pm
The difference between an hour booking and a 15 minute booking is, if someone is 10-15 mins late on a 15 minute appointment then he's missed his WHOLE appointment whereas on an hour appointment, I often have client a stuck in traffic and a really don't mind as long as they let me know x

Exactly! Being 10 minutes late, and therefor taking 25 minutes, is going over by 66% of the agreed time. (I think so, anyway. My maths ain't so great.) 10 minutes on a half-hour booking is still 33% but it's not the end of the world. On an hour, it's negligible. Naturally, we all leave time in between bookings but the fact still remains that that time could have been used by someone wanting to spend more money.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 27 March 2014, 11:52:09 pm
Just had some guy phone me 3 times then text me saying I was to download the Tango app so that I can text him back and forth for free!

Talk about delusional! Think he's getting this whole escorting malarkey mixed up with real life, why would I want to text a complete stranger?

The oddballs are crawling at the moment, I don't know what's going on. I've had months of just normal abuse and harassment that I can handle and that don't upset me anymore to stuff making me very wary and uncomfortable to a serious amount of weirdos in general, must be something in the air!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 28 March 2014, 03:26:41 am
Quote from: KimberlyC on 27 March 2014, 01:09:17 pm
Quote from: bibi on 27 March 2014, 12:23:47 pm
It's one of those days.Had a guy book for 12 for a 15 min quickie and at 12:05 I had to ring to ask if he was on his way...'Oh yeah I'm 5 mins away' so why am I having to ring you to find out you are going to be 10 mins late?

This is why I don't offer quickies anymore. I'd be thrilled to do them if they'd be very prompt and easy to schedule but I find they eat up as much of my day as 30-minute bookings. And 12 noon is Prime Time!

I stopped doing quickies a couple of years ago because of some guys poor hygiene. They all use to say they dont have time for a shower, even if it was on my time, so I simply not do them anymore, then risk smelling some piss
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 28 March 2014, 04:18:38 pm
Had a guy ask if I was available today, so told him I was available after 4pm, to which he tells me he can't do that late due to work so would he be able to see me tomorrow or sunday instead.

I have it clearly listed on my profile I don't work weekends due to personal commitments but I figured well hardly anyone reads them, he has lots of good feedback and was polite etc, so tell him I can do tomorrow morning but he would need to make an appointment by 10.30am or earlier because I have personal commitments for the remainder of the weekend.

He then tells me "That's fine but I might be a bit late."

.....

What part of I can't do later than that is so difficult to understand?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 28 March 2014, 09:41:46 pm
Just received this from a guy on AW who only joined the site today...........


Hello K I am up from Manchester on business and would love to make a booking with you but the problem is I have no phone its down getting fixed at the moment is this possible??

Now obviously his email is polite enough but not only does that go against my vetting process and procedure but how can they possibly think this is possible? Is there anyone out there who would actually give their address/buzzer and everything else to a complete stranger over the internet?

Talk about thoughtless!!!!!!!

That 3 days out of 5 this week where someone is trying to get my address from me without actually speaking to me, it's really making me very paranoid.
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 28 March 2014, 10:05:07 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 28 March 2014, 09:41:46 pm

 Is there anyone out there who would actually give their address/buzzer and everything else to a complete stranger over the internet?

That 3 days out of 5 this week where someone is trying to get my address from me without actually speaking to me, it's really making me very paranoid.

I did it once when I very first started and was clueless about safety procedures. Never again!

Could it be someone messing with you?


Does anyone else ever get the urge to reply to idiots just as idiotically? Usually I ignore the urge but today I just couldn't resist...

Idiot: "Hi I have this fantasy of blahblahblah *big wall of text that I ignored*

I skim to the end to see "let me know your thoughts etc etc"

I just couldn't stop myself from responding with "My thoughts are that you are a complete fantasist and want me to write you a long essay to wank over. Unfortunately I'm not all that creative, I suggest you go find a girl who will entertain your waffle (Clue-there isn't any.) Blocked, have a nice day and goodbye.

Not very mature I know but...it did give me a small twinge of satisfaction.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 29 March 2014, 03:01:35 am
Guy calls me. You know the type
 Silly man"im calling for some details"
Me "sure honey where did u get my number from?"
Am: "@adultwork but ive not got the internet to read everything"
Me: "ok (reels off basic info)"
Silly man "so Do you get randy?"
Me "what?"
Silly man "I said do you get randy?"
Me "is this Austin powers?"
Silly man, "shit," *hangs up*

Bare in mind this was the second time he called me today first time he was trying to get me to describe how I looked in detail (what colour are you nipples lol) and it turns out it was the international man of mystery all along!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 29 March 2014, 08:55:01 am
What colour are your nipples? LOL! And randy? What a word......cringe! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 29 March 2014, 11:18:41 am
Oh I one ring and ask for a booking said he wanted to see me asap so I told 12:15 (30 mins time), he then asked what time I started...not really relevant but I told him 10am. He then said 'Are you not very naughty then?'.... ??? I just put the phone down..he had that typical quiet sleazy voice of the phone wanker lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 29 March 2014, 01:57:40 pm
Hi

Does anyone else get this kind of rubbish, as well as the usual timewasting crap? I've copied and pasted the below from my AW inbox, the sender is a male "escort" who joined AW in 2008 and has 0 feedback lol...

I was wondering since we are both in the same
field here. I am wanting the 'Blowjob of my life'
where I am literally sucked dry just by a blowjob
from a lady like yourself who thinks they're good
& just The Best giving out a good blowjob.
If you think you can, I will pay an agreed price,
but only if you suck me dry & there is no more
cum left in me, you will get to keep the money.
Let me know what you think, or if you just want
to have fun with me, please do get in touch as I
would like to hear from you either way darling ;)
Take Care Claire,
Love x x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 29 March 2014, 02:44:46 pm
Yes it's just your usual Adultwork chancer claiming to be a male escort...another angle to try and get a free shag.Just delete and block.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 29 March 2014, 05:12:08 pm

Name: Fiona
E-mail: xxxxxxxxxxx@gmail.com
Subject: enquiring
Message: Hello.

I am seeking to pay for the privilege of my son to spend an exotic time with you. He has requested a special present for his birthday. I am willing to pay whatever is you want.

Fiona

After sending replay,I received this:

Hello.

I am arranging everything for him and paying. He is 14 if that's ok.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HollyH on 29 March 2014, 05:21:30 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 26 March 2014, 03:44:23 pm
This is a rather random one! Just got this text:

"Hiya hunni.its mistress brooke hampton here.could you help me out with something please xx "

When I Googled the phone number the top result was the Twitter account of a girl called Brooke Hampton who is a US college student as far as I can tell, so not sure how her Twitter has been linked to a UK mobile number.

I also found a result on a page called "The phone book of Howells Travis" where the number is listed as belonging to someone with a distinctly male name who lives in the UK.

Also a Google search for "mistress brooke hampton" bring up a couple of backpage ads of a Mistress Brooke based in the US in a place called Hampton.

No results on Saafe or any of the usual bad client type places, and I don't intend to reply, just wondering if anyone else has encountered this before or knows how searching a UK phone number can get a US person's Twitter as a Google result? If it wasn't for these weird Google results I would have already ignored and moved on after receiving a message from someone clearly hoping to get off on pretending to be another escort (I've been fooled by that one before!).

I've had the same text 3 times in the time I've been working. For the life of me I can't remember what the reply was when I asked what "she" wanted but I know it was enough for me to forget it. I'm sure the last time I didn't even get a reply. I just thought if she were real she'd email me on my aw account rather than text me so I can check her out. Oh well.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 29 March 2014, 06:02:11 pm
Do any of you ever get "wrong number" texts where you suspect they're pretending to have the wrong number but want you to chat with them?

What is the point of that exercise!? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 29 March 2014, 07:35:24 pm
Quote from: KimberlyC on 29 March 2014, 06:02:11 pm
Do any of you ever get "wrong number" texts where you suspect they're pretending to have the wrong number but want you to chat with them?

What is the point of that exercise!? ::)

Yes!!
And the "found you're number in my contacts, how do I know you"? Etc, etc.
More recently I had some numpty text me claiming that he'd met me on a night out, and agreed to a date. Of course I replied that I could recall no such thing, and he replied- "you were very very drunk, that's probably why you can't remember. You said your name is Claire and you wanted to go out with me" - so either I got smashed, (I don't drink) gave this guy my work number and introduced myself using my work name, or the guy is trying to convince me to go on a date... Hmmm.
What worries me is that these guys seem to genuinely believe they're being smart lol!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 29 March 2014, 07:55:32 pm
Quote from: foreign affairs on 29 March 2014, 05:12:08 pm

Name: Fiona
E-mail: xxxxxxxxxxx@gmail.com
Subject: enquiring
Message: Hello.

I am seeking to pay for the privilege of my son to spend an exotic time with you. He has requested a special present for his birthday. I am willing to pay whatever is you want.

Fiona

After sending replay,I received this:

Hello.

I am arranging everything for him and paying. He is 14 if that's ok.

Fantasist.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 29 March 2014, 10:25:30 pm
Quote from: foreign affairs on 29 March 2014, 05:12:08 pm

Name: Fiona
E-mail: xxxxxxxxxxx@gmail.com
Subject: enquiring
Message: Hello.

I am seeking to pay for the privilege of my son to spend an exotic time with you. He has requested a special present for his birthday. I am willing to pay whatever is you want.

Fiona

After sending replay,I received this:

Hello.

I am arranging everything for him and paying. He is 14 if that's ok.

I would have replied "I'm sure the Police will be glad to know this" or words to those effect.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 30 March 2014, 12:07:28 am
Quote from: KimberlyC on 29 March 2014, 06:02:11 pm
Do any of you ever get "wrong number" texts where you suspect they're pretending to have the wrong number but want you to chat with them?

What is the point of that exercise!? ::)

Yes I woke up to a text this morning saying, had your number in my phone.....who is this?

Had a guy yesterday text me saying he lost all his contacts but had the numbers backed up so we've all to get in touch with our names.....LOL!

I have had a text saying that he was just about to go and get this sleeve tattoo finished then heading to the gym mate!

Often get the who's this text as they had my number but don't know who I am.

I always ignore as it's clear they just want to spark up a convo.......pathetic!

Oh and the guy I had text me saying he lost all his contacts was already saved in my phone as someone who said his mate gave him my number  ::)

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 30 March 2014, 12:06:45 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 29 March 2014, 07:55:32 pm
Quote from: foreign affairs on 29 March 2014, 05:12:08 pm

Name: Fiona
E-mail: xxxxxxxxxxx@gmail.com
Subject: enquiring
Message: Hello.

I am seeking to pay for the privilege of my son to spend an exotic time with you. He has requested a special present for his birthday. I am willing to pay whatever is you want.

Fiona

After sending replay,I received this:

Hello.

I am arranging everything for him and paying. He is 14 if that's ok.

Fantasist.


Got the same email last night. This was my reply.

 Boy,You are really doing the rounds..u have sent the same email to various ladies.Let me guess...ur son is only 14.Go and send your silly crap to someone else...you are a known fantacist!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 30 March 2014, 06:47:38 pm
Quote from: bibi on 30 March 2014, 12:06:45 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 29 March 2014, 07:55:32 pm
Quote from: foreign affairs on 29 March 2014, 05:12:08 pm

Name: Fiona
E-mail: xxxxxxxxxxx@gmail.com
Subject: enquiring
Message: Hello.

I am seeking to pay for the privilege of my son to spend an exotic time with you. He has requested a special present for his birthday. I am willing to pay whatever is you want.

Fiona

After sending replay,I received this:

Hello.

I am arranging everything for him and paying. He is 14 if that's ok.

Fantasist.


Got the same email last night. This was my reply.

 Boy,You are really doing the rounds..u have sent the same email to various ladies.Let me guess...ur son is only 14.Go and send your silly crap to someone else...you are a known fantacist!

I've just received a variation of the email!

Hello.
I am seeking to pay for the privilege of my son to spend an exotic time with you. He has requested a special present ( birthday ) and being an open and honest mother I have agreed to arrange a sexual encounter with an older woman. He really likes you and is hoping you can make his wish come true. I will pay you whatever you want.
Yours sincerely
Fiona

The email address suggests a man, what with the word "horny" in it.

I replied:
Hi,
Sure - what sort of domination is he into? Financial? SPH? CP? AB? Have a read of the services on my site - plus the fees are also listed on there - obviously financial domination comes with varied price tags.

May I ask what the reason is why your son can't contact me himself? I need to know of any disablement in order to tailor the session to his needs.

Thanks

C

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RR on 30 March 2014, 09:35:08 pm
me: quiet night in and tired 
him: i see
him: no excitment yet huh
me: nope
him: i just wanted to tell youre really beautiful
me: thank you thats v kind
him: youre welcome
him: i was wondering maybe if you wanted to take a look into my gallery and let me know what you think of my cock perhaps?

 :FF

unless your cock is made of sprinkles, they all look the fucking same to me  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RR on 30 March 2014, 09:59:51 pm
me: hello
him--: innit
him--: u have neither the wit nor imagination chubby

I can't even... what? How are you meant to get offended by something that doesn't even make sense?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 31 March 2014, 01:14:41 am
Gee whizz there are some truly dense people about.Email via A.W just now...Can I pay you for a booking tonight via card as I don't have cash....
Now aside from the fact I have written in bold 10am until 9pm..he is supposedly willing to prepay for a booking with a girl who he does not know from Adam..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 31 March 2014, 09:23:34 pm
"Blah blah blah do you want a professional style glamour photo shoot for your private gallery, no release, you keep the shots, I want to keep a couple for my portfolio, blah blah, I know how to get the best income from the private gallery, blah blah."

I have a short profile, there are only three questions on my FAQs - one of which tells photographers and "male escorts" to do kindly one. So I shot back:
Thanks for your kind offer. I understand you most likely copy-paste your message without reading profiles, but nevertheless mine states I am not interested in photography services, so 10/10 for ignoring someone's personal boundaries. Always a good trait in someone who takes intimate images of women. :)
Take care! x

I'm such a dick. But still. No photog who specifically trawls AW for models is coming near me with a camera. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 01 April 2014, 02:04:08 am
 ???It never ceases to amaze me how these guys think that their copied and pasted drivel about being a photographer/male escort/driver/bodyguard/freebie hunter is individual and that no other numpty has tried the same pathetic tactic.
Sometimes I wonder whether theyve actually got somewhere with there emails and some poor newbie has taken them up on it, because I regularly get the same email from the same guys a few months apart and it makes me think that they must suceed every now and thenn why else would they invest so much time and effort on a regular basis... ?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 01 April 2014, 10:50:13 am
Quote from: BJC on 01 April 2014, 02:04:08 am
???It never ceases to amaze me how these guys think that their copied and pasted drivel about being a photographer/male escort/driver/bodyguard/freebie hunter is individual and that no other numpty has tried the same pathetic tactic.
Sometimes I wonder whether theyve actually got somewhere with there emails and some poor newbie has taken them up on it, because I regularly get the same email from the same guys a few months apart and it makes me think that they must suceed every now and thenn why else would they invest so much time and effort on a regular basis... ?

Yes there is no doubt in my mind that someone somewhere will take them up on their offer.

I recently had another escort email me asking if I wanted extra clients (she had plenty of feedback of her own) and if I wanted pics taken by some guy and that all he asks in return is that we have a 3sum, drinks and wee party between us. I ignored it but I just thought to myself no chance! I don't even do 3sums never mind anything else! So in wonder how many people she copy and pasted that to.

I've had the photographer one a million times and quite often they have feedback from other escorts about their photography so some definitely do go for it.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 01 April 2014, 02:20:39 pm
For the past few days I've mostly been in bed sick except for the weekend when I had my child, every day since Thursday over 30 calls from the same guy who rings and sends "???" very two minutes if I don't answer immediately, and text after text along the lines of "will you see me today" "Would be nice if you answered" "I don't like being ignored" "I like seeing you and I like making you smile" "You must think I'm a nob I just wanna see you" "take it you're not gonna see me" "???"  along with around 10 calls on sunday when I've repeatedly told him I DO NOT work weekends!

Ugh.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RR on 01 April 2014, 02:28:30 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 01 April 2014, 02:20:39 pm
For the past few days I've mostly been in bed sick except for the weekend when I had my child, every day since Thursday over 30 calls from the same guy who rings and sends "???" very two minutes if I don't answer immediately, and text after text along the lines of "will you see me today" "Would be nice if you answered" "I don't like being ignored" "I like seeing you and I like making you smile" "You must think I'm a nob I just wanna see you" "take it you're not gonna see me" "???"  along with around 10 calls on sunday when I've repeatedly told him I DO NOT work weekends!

Ugh.

But did you think he was a knob? ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RR on 01 April 2014, 05:52:46 pm
Been back on VS all of 40 mins or so and already been asked "do you take it up the arse?"

He did hang up when I replied "why, do you?" ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 01 April 2014, 11:41:51 pm
Just had a guy phone me at 11pm, only answers incase it was a normal person phoning for a booking tomorrow or something but nope..........

He wanted to know if I was available now for the hour so I said no, I don't work at this time of nite and I require notice for a booking and only meet with people who read my profile.

He then says......fuck you ya fuckin steamer  ::)

Charming eh  ::)

Anyone in Glasgow want his number, just ask!

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 02 April 2014, 12:36:32 am
Quote from: BJC on 01 April 2014, 02:04:08 am
???It never ceases to amaze me how these guys think that their copied and pasted drivel about being a photographer/male escort/driver/bodyguard/freebie hunter is individual and that no other numpty has tried the same pathetic tactic.
Sometimes I wonder whether theyve actually got somewhere with there emails and some poor newbie has taken them up on it, because I regularly get the same email from the same guys a few months apart and it makes me think that they must suceed every now and thenn why else would they invest so much time and effort on a regular basis... ?

Exactly! It's so transparent. And if we want professional pics, we are capable of googling reputable studios. We don't need some creeper approaching us on an adult site.

To be fair to this guy, he apologised and thanked me for giving him a slap on the wrists. He had a "portfolio" ... on a cheap website, looking like it was full of new & young AW girls though, sigh. I would never trust some dude who sends messages to escorts in order to get some nakey pics on his laptop. Besides, I'm a photographer myself and the results I get from setting my self-timer (and contorting myself into weird positions to get the right angle of my ass or feet or legs or whatever) were better than the stuff in his portfolio. :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RR on 02 April 2014, 09:04:13 pm
Some special snowflake just randomly put through a 2 hour booking request at 11pm tonight.

I don't work at 11pm unless I've met you before, and even then I need notice as I am usually going to sleep.

Also my two hour rate is ?220, not ?150 as this special snowflake seemed to change it to. Fuckwit.

When challenged on that, I get this: Subject:   Re: Link up?


Well there was long form to fill up so i just put the price randomly.
You can talk to me over phone if you like, till what time you work?

 :FF

READ. MY. PROFILE.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 02 April 2014, 09:52:52 pm
I got a random booking request also , for tomorrow at 6.30am 1 hour! Also a lovely text said "working?" That's it, nothing more, what a charmer x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 03 April 2014, 01:39:14 am
Just got an email just before 1am on AW asking if I am available at the moment and the guy has 9 positive feedback about how genuine and considerate he is......really? Considerate? Yet he thinks I work 24/7 am available without notice so I clearly sit in my underwear 24/7 and not only that but he thinks I sit watching the emails coming in 24/7 also, what's considerate about that?

I am moving house so up late packing things and throwing things out which is the only reason why I picked up his email so late.

Some of these guys, infact all of the guys on this thread are so thoughtless it's unreal!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 03 April 2014, 03:16:25 pm
I thought I would be well enough to work again yesterday so politely informed the guy I mentioned who sent me dozens of texts and calls that I had been sick but would be available fter 4pm Wednesday.

Wednesday morning comes and I feel even worse, so make sure to alter my profile that I'm not working today, switch my phone off and go promptly back to sleep and have only recently just woken up, still not feeling 100%

I switch my phone on to find over 40 missed calls and dozens of texts along the lines of "False advertising, you told me 4, what's going on" (Uh HELLO? Check my damn profile!), you're gonna be busy again, (half of these calls were sent BEFORE 4) and the best one "you obvs have problems if you need to talk I'm here"...I can't even..what?

I don't think I'm the one with the problems mate!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 03 April 2014, 04:20:54 pm
Normally I don't entertain idiots but sometimes when I need cheering up and will as it is a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine. I know its sad but you gotta do what you gotta do to keep your chin up haha. Anywho I had this exchange yesterday via text by someone I have saved in my phone as Chancing Prick.

Chancing Prick: This Eliza?

Me: yes this is eliza how can I help?

CP: Hi I'm J I was wondering if I could take u out for a drink x

Me: sure my social rate is ?50

CP: Can we do a date drink?

Me: Give me a call (I knew he wouldn't)

CP: Just eating x

Me: Ok I'm blocking your number

CP: I will call in ten mins

Me Nah don't worry about  that.

******************** 7 hours later*************************

CP: I was going to call but you said nah

Me: Oh No I'm not sure how I will ever get over this.

CP: I don't do sarcasm

Me: Great well please don't text back then. I'm a hooker I dont go on dates with strangers for free. Good luck finding a date but I think you will need to be on plenty of fish or some sugar daddy website not adultwork.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 03 April 2014, 07:53:30 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 03 April 2014, 04:20:54 pm
Normally I don't entertain idiots but sometimes when I need cheering up and will as it is a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine. I know its sad but you gotta do what you gotta do to keep your chin up haha. Anywho I had this exchange yesterday via text by someone I have saved in my phone as Chancing Prick.

Chancing Prick: This Eliza?

Me: yes this is eliza how can I help?

CP: Hi I'm J I was wondering if I could take u out for a drink x

Me: sure my social rate is ?50

CP: Can we do a date drink?

Me: Give me a call (I knew he wouldn't)

CP: Just eating x

Me: Ok I'm blocking your number

CP: I will call in ten mins

Me Nah don't worry about  that.

******************** 7 hours later*************************

CP: I was going to call but you said nah

Me: Oh No I'm not sure how I will ever get over this.

CP: I don't do sarcasm

Me: Great well please don't text back then. I'm a hooker I dont go on dates with strangers for free. Good luck finding a date but I think you will need to be on plenty of fish or some sugar daddy website not adultwork.

Lol! I've directed a few chancers to match.com and adultfriendfinder. I really don't understand why they aren't hunting for their next victim there instead anyway! I asked one guy why he was looking for free dates on adultwork when there are so many sites that specialise in NSA hookups, especially seeing as hed already informed me that he was young, hung and fit. His answer?

"Yeah I can get pretty much any bird I want. But prossies are better at fuckin n suckin Dick, n I've got a 9 inch dick so thought u mite enjoy yourself"...

Charming. Delusional, yet charming.

I know I shouldn't respond to these ridiculous emails, but I get so infuriated and wound up reading them my fingers start twitching and I can't help myself from replying. Of course its a waste of time and I usually block them 9 times out of 10 after their next reply. Its a mystery to me why they aren't contacting girls on one of those hookup sites. Yet it seems to be a mystery to them why we aren't begging them to screw us! Lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RR on 04 April 2014, 11:24:31 am
I store clients I've seen before as they can text me at a later date to arrange another booking. I tell them I do this. The rule of thumb I have (and that they know) is that if I don't reply within 10-15 minutes, I won't reply as I don't know if they're still able to reply freely. Obviously, I never text them off my own back.

Him: (10:41) "hey are you available tomorrow? x"
Me: (10:42) yeah I am x
Him: (10:44) "sorry who is this? x"
Me: (10:45) (feeling somewhat uncomfortable in how to handle this) R...
Him: (10:46) "just got new phone dont know your num how do I no you?"

Yeah... I won't be replying...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 04 April 2014, 03:23:23 pm

Hi,
I will be in Paris at June for 4 days ( from 18/06 to 21/06), can i meet you there for a dinner date.
Regards,
BESSEM
 

Aye nae bother pal! Not only do I not d dinner dates or outcalls but why the hell would I meet someone in Paris for a dinner date when I am in Scotland? What planet are some of these guys on?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 04 April 2014, 03:46:44 pm
I've removed some off topic and inappropriate posts from this thread - if somebody doesn't understand the purpose of either it or the remit of the forum, please do feel free to PM me or one of the mods and we'll try to explain it.

That said, this thread was originally started to record and share the weirdest, daftest, most obnoxious and most generally entertaining communications members have received from the numpties who were never going to get a booking anywhere, and not really to rant just because some poor sod who'd had a few too many texted at a silly time of night or asked for a service not on offer, and it's getting a bit repetitive.

Quote from: Fallingstar on 26 August 2009, 11:52:49 am
Ive had such a bizarre time with oddball clients this week that i think we need to start a sweepstakes for your most insane potential client booking scenarios.

Can we please try to stick to the spirit of the thread as it was started? If nothing else, it'll be a lot more fun to read :D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FantacyAW on 05 April 2014, 10:59:31 am
Hi Ladies just had this charmer, e-mail started off great-where, when, what he was after (list of services i'm happy to provide) then this - If all of this is agreeable, would it be possible to see a photo of your face, vagina and ass? No offence, but if im paying a lot of money id quite like to be assured that I will enjoy what is on top of my face is to my liking (but im sure it would be). my email (his email).

My reply-
Hi, all sounds good.
No offence either but would you mind sending pics to me too as you are new with no feedback (my e-mail), I also like to know who i'm meeting,
Fantacy x

Know he probably won't but will have a giggle looking and breaking it to him my er...cameras broke! I'm in a fun, sarcastic mood today so could be worse, lol ;0)
My other options where - Trot on Pal, plenty of girls have these pics freely available! Or - Happy to meet, but don't send pics as don't know where they will end up and I have had no complaints so far.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FantacyAW on 05 April 2014, 11:41:30 am
 ??? OMG, feel so guilty-he has just e-mailed me pics of him with girl mates-faces not blurred and his graduation pics, it was his proper e-mail too, really polite e-mail too saying he understands me needing pics....I just assumed he was another chancer/timewaster looking for wank fodder!!! Bless them, there are innocent good guys out there x I'm soo gonna do some Vagina Selfies and send them him....not xxx Better chat to him  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 05 April 2014, 02:53:18 pm
Quote from: FantacyAW on 05 April 2014, 11:41:30 am
??? OMG, feel so guilty-he has just e-mailed me pics of him with girl mates-faces not blurred and his graduation pics, it was his proper e-mail too, really polite e-mail too saying he understands me needing pics....I just assumed he was another chancer/timewaster looking for wank fodder!!! Bless them, there are innocent good guys out there x I'm soo gonna do some Vagina Selfies and send them him....not xxx Better chat to him  :P

I can understand him needing a photo of your face before meeting but your vagina?  Why?  does he think yours is so vastly different to everyone elses.  yes they all look different up to a point but they all are pretty much the same as well.  Also please remember as he did not send you a selfie he could have just taken one from facebook or similar seeing as it had other people in it. 
He doesn't need bum and Vagina photos at all.  He wants them to wank over so he then wont need to meet you and pay.

Why not say instead of photos lets Skype for a minute or two so we can both see what the other looks like.  That way he doesn't have photos of your face vag and arse to show to all his mates.  Literally go on Skype say heelo and say ok now we both know what the other looks like so I will see you for your booking BYE and disconnect.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosa on 05 April 2014, 04:03:51 pm
Quote from: Dani on 05 April 2014, 02:53:18 pm
Quote from: FantacyAW on 05 April 2014, 11:41:30 am
??? OMG, feel so guilty-he has just e-mailed me pics of him with girl mates-faces not blurred and his graduation pics, it was his proper e-mail too, really polite e-mail too saying he understands me needing pics....I just assumed he was another chancer/timewaster looking for wank fodder!!! Bless them, there are innocent good guys out there x I'm soo gonna do some Vagina Selfies and send them him....not xxx Better chat to him  :P

I can understand him needing a photo of your face before meeting but your vagina?  Why?  does he think yours is so vastly different to everyone elses.  yes they all look different up to a point but they all are pretty much the same as well.  Also please remember as he did not send you a selfie he could have just taken one from facebook or similar seeing as it had other people in it. 
He doesn't need bum and Vagina photos at all.  He wants them to wank over so he then wont need to meet you and pay.

Why not say instead of photos lets Skype for a minute or two so we can both see what the other looks like.  That way he doesn't have photos of your face vag and arse to show to all his mates.  Literally go on Skype say heelo and say ok now we both know what the other looks like so I will see you for your booking BYE and disconnect.

This sort of approach "I wanna see wor I'm gettin" really puts me off, and I'll usually flag them up as trouble - and 9 times out of ten someone using this approach does prove to be badgerer, and more trouble than they are worth.

Luckily there are other clients who don't need that much 'persuasion'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 05 April 2014, 08:50:00 pm
Quote from: FantacyAW on 05 April 2014, 11:41:30 am
??? OMG, feel so guilty-he has just e-mailed me pics of him with girl mates-faces not blurred and his graduation pics, it was his proper e-mail too, really polite e-mail too saying he understands me needing pics....I just assumed he was another chancer/timewaster looking for wank fodder!!! Bless them, there are innocent good guys out there x I'm soo gonna do some Vagina Selfies and send them him....not xxx Better chat to him  :P

do  a reverse search on gooogle-images for that picture, maybe it pops up on somemones FB or who knows and helps you find out if he is genuine or not
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 07 April 2014, 04:42:05 pm
How could I say no to this guy

Im looking for an outcall on Monday 12th May in a Derby City Hotel. From 2pm until 11am the next morning. (So 21hrs). Im offering ?250 and all booze is on me.

Im NOT looking for a GFE but want to be having a sexual marathon throughout the whole time - with just a few hrs sleep and plenty of alcohol.

If we get on, then im prepared to make it at least once a month.

I want us to be naked for the whole time, apart from u in stockings and heels: Im hoping u do anal, owo, cim and have toys.

Im a 32 yrs old British born n bred Indian........ Im straight up and honest, and don't wanna mess u around.

How does that sound? xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 07 April 2014, 05:54:29 pm
Had a "which one are you" today, I know some guys have a list of a few girls to ring which is fine, had a missed call during a booking, text back sorry I missed your call, he called back and first thing he said was " which one are you?" I hate it! At least have some manners and respect and know who is who, am I over reacting?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 07 April 2014, 10:52:36 pm
No it's just rude and smacks of 'Any hole will do'.Clients like these moan about bait and switch but if they don't even know who they are calling you could tell them anything if you were so inclined.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 07 April 2014, 11:05:57 pm
I usually ignore texts - and took my phone number off AW for a while because they were doing my head in - but these jokers.

Every two days for the last week. "Hi hun will u do bj in car if so where can we meet" calling himself John, Phil, and Dave, as if I'm that easily fooled. A blowie in a carpark sounds a lot like the relaxed GFE I offer, don't it.

Also "let me give you 60 for an hour I live in ______". Swiftly told him no. "How much u want." Nothing from you, honey. Nothing at all. Off you pop.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: aliceinwanderland on 07 April 2014, 11:36:21 pm
Anyone else get this gem?

Hello,

I see that you don't do in-calls, is this because you do not have a place to meet guy's?

Well how about using my place in Prestwich, at postcode: (ladadadada)

Most guys cannot accomodate, so you would probably get a lot more work if you have somewhere to meet guys.

I've had a good working relationship with a BBW called (random lady) but she has just gone halfs with another lady to rent their own apartment.

I also have a sexy MILF called: (another random lady!) stay at my place every Thursday & Friday and she does 3-4 jobs a day.

So the way it works is that you get an in-call and give the guy my postcode (he gets the rest when he gets here), say it's at 1pm then you be at my place about 12.40pm then I leave and for your security I patrol the street to see him get out of his car and I take a photo of his registration number, then basically I get paid for going for a walk!

Then when the guy has gone then you text me, I come back in, then you pay me: If it's 10 mins, 30 mins or even an hour then I get ?10 (8am to 6pm) & if it's 6pm to 11pm then it's ?15 for up to an hour.

My apartment is very discreet with entryphone and is in a nice area with plenty of free parking.

This would be a purely Non-Sexual and Professional relationship.

Regards: (yet another troll)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 07 April 2014, 11:46:46 pm
Quote from: aliceinwanderland on 07 April 2014, 11:36:21 pm
then I leave and for your security I patrol the street to see him get out of his car and I take a photo of his registration number, then basically I get paid for going for a walk!

If he tried 'patrolling' up and down the path photographing people's cars in my street, I'd give him about five minutes to enjoy his walk before somebody called the rozzers :D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 08 April 2014, 12:46:24 am
Quote from: LondonEvie on 14 October 2009, 02:04:28 pm
Hahaha, AW email:

 "Hello,

I would like to attract your attention to my reverse booking because I like your profil. Please let me know if you are interested.

Reverse Booking Overnight 400?
I will be in London this week end, I would like to spend an evening and possibly the night with a nice young girl. After meeting at an appropriate place, we can go out for a drink or a meal and get to know each other better before going back to my Hotel. I can offer 300? to 400? for the night + outing expenses of coarse. Let me know if you are interested and we can start working out the details.'


Jealous of my awesome offer of about 1/3 of my usual rate? Maybe he'll let me bring a friend  :)


This made me spit my wine out. Omg. This job never ceases to amaze me

x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: shatteredpan on 08 April 2014, 11:29:15 am
There's some real gems out there xD

Had one tonight, an outcall. He kept telling me to hurry (even though I told him how long it would take me to get there and he said that it was fine). Apparently, I didn't hurry fast enough... Got to his place at the same time his girlfriend got home.

Lost that client pretty quick XDD
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 08 April 2014, 11:50:26 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 07 April 2014, 05:54:29 pm
Had a "which one are you" today, I know some guys have a list of a few girls to ring which is fine, had a missed call during a booking, text back sorry I missed your call, he called back and first thing he said was " which one are you?" I hate it! At least have some manners and respect and know who is who, am I over reacting?

It's ok, I hate this too. It is rude but the reason for it being a deal breaker for me is that if he doesn't even know my name or who I am then I very much doubt he knows anything about me and what I offer which causes me nothing but problems so I just don't see them x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 08 April 2014, 12:33:34 pm
Put my ad back on vivastreet today. Now I remember why I took it down. my phone has been non stop with t/w and creeps.

A guy calls me about my services and I tell him I don't do a - levels. He asks is there anything he can offer to change my mind and I say no. Pleasant enough call he says he will call back when he would like to make an appointment. Fast forward 5 hours later and he calls back. Asks me for my measurements again! Then the following convo happens.

Him: "so, do you model?"

Me: *sigh as I can see where this is going* No I don't.

Him: Why's that, is it because you are shy?

Me: No love, I'm a prostitute not a model.

Him: *embarressed laughter* It's just that I have a clothing website and I am looking for a plus sized model.

Me: Great well I don't know why you are talking to a hooker, perhaps speak to a plus sized model?

Him: ok, so I know you said earlier that you don't do anal but I am indian and our cocks are not very big.

Me: I don't care how big your cock is it's not going up my arse.

Him: look I am not being pushy but...

Me: yes you are being pushy, I'm terminating this call and blocking you.  *click*

That was the 5th call that day that wouldn't take no for an answer on anal and all from vivastreet. I also had a guy ask me if I would fuck him for free as he was unemployed. I've now taken my number down of vivastreet they can email me from now on!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 08 April 2014, 05:09:13 pm
HHJJ I had viva street phone me offering me a free months advertising, I thought ok since its a free add..:. I had it taken down that very same day.

I find that despite the fact we do get timewasters in this job, when guys are on an escorting website....they are obviously looking for an escort. Guys go on viva street to buy random shit then stubble across the escort section which gets them thinking but they don't actually have any intention of following it through.

I got harassed by complete timewasters, creeps and pushy men so your experiencing exactly what I did x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 08 April 2014, 08:57:28 pm
Ugh is Viva Street really that bad? No one within a 5 mile radius of me advertises on there, so I was gonna give it a shot, thinking there's no local competition so it might be a good idea.  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RR on 08 April 2014, 09:03:36 pm
VS is full of a lot of... whats the nicest way to word this? Twats.

I put my website on my VS ad and oddly, I've had guys calling me who have actually went off to read my website as they've referenced it. So I do like VS, provided you don't mind that you will spend more of your day going "sorry, not working" (not working for you).

I used paper advertising before, I think its probably better to compare it to that type of traffic than it is say AW or your own website. There is a thread in the Seeking/Offering bit that has an email for VS and they are actually pretty helpful now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 08 April 2014, 09:12:20 pm
I would say give it a chance as your local may be different to what the guys in glamorous leicester.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 08 April 2014, 09:22:49 pm
Thanks RR & HHJJ. May give it a shot to see what happens. I only do outcalls and am incredibly picky, so it's been quiet. At the very least I'll get some classic material to add to this thread.  :-*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sassy Slapper on 08 April 2014, 09:43:33 pm
I had a fun text the other day, was going well till I got this cracker..

"you dont charge do you?"

errrrrr
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: frankiework on 09 April 2014, 01:31:02 pm
Had a lovely message on aw today of a gent that kept asking me if he could use his extra safe rubbers because 'I know how dirty you girls are'
Then was wondering why I was not replying. good start to the day!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 10 April 2014, 12:14:16 am
Hahahahaha! That really made me lol  ;D

I suppose some escorts may be dirty but personally I take my sexual health very seriously as I do my personal hygiene so I would have been massively offended at that!

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: frankiework on 10 April 2014, 08:03:13 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 10 April 2014, 12:14:16 am
Hahahahaha! That really made me lol  ;D

I suppose some escorts may be dirty but personally I take my sexual health very seriously as I do my personal hygiene so I would have been massively offended at that!

xx

I tried not to be offended, and it was difficult stopping myself from reply with a snotty 'I'm sure I take better care of my hygiene and health then you', but in the end I just laughed it off.
It's great to be careful, but surely he hasn't managed to make a single booking speaking like that?

x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 11 April 2014, 04:11:08 pm
What a prick! Haha. You'd think it would be common sense not to insult someone you want to see naked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RR on 12 April 2014, 12:56:46 pm
Came home to check my phone and got this:

"Hey gorgeous. seen your ad online. Was wondering if I could come to you for 1hr? X from X location. I'm 25. And good looking. I'm super horny tonight. My girlfriend is in a huff. And I will pay you if your interested." (2214)

::) oh no let me fuck you for free because your other half is in a mood with you. I'm doing a charity run; I am, however, not a charity myself.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 12 April 2014, 06:31:12 pm
"Let me give you 60 for an hour" guy has come back with "let me give you 250 for an overnight".

Why wouldn't I slash my overnight rate to A THIRD for this cheap arse who doesn't take no for an answer!? Told him to fuck off haggling.

"Fuck u bitch."

Erm, no, you don't get to fuck me darling. That's the point. Xoxo. :-*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 12 April 2014, 11:21:42 pm
I received this text a couple of hours ago but it's took until now to come through since it was such a long text and I have such a shit work phone, in his opinion it's better to text but I massively disagree hence having it clear that I don't respnd to texts, if he'd phoned me then I'd probably have seen him but since he text I ignored and waited 2 and a half hours on it coming through.........

Hi K, I'd love to meet you in about 1 hour from now for 1 hour tonight if your free. I know you say you don't answer SMS but actually this is the mode efficient way to establish the basics, if this ok just SMS me "ok" and I will call you within seconds. Btw....I am 42 but sun tanned (but not like you) fit, good looking etc and even got asked 1 hour ago for my autograph by some tipsy young ladies who stopped me thinking I was "Sting" lol...let me know what you think.

It went on to say something else but that still hasn't came through but I think I have got the jist of it. Well I dont think sting is good looking not that looks matter as I am providing a service that I get paid for and I think you should have phoned instead of wasted your time sending a big long message that I won't reply to! And also there is no need to establish the basics when the basics are on my profile which of course I a am happy to confirm over the phone!

I just ignored the message! He must've a timewaster as surely if someone wanted to see me, they would just phone like I ask and not text like I ask??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 13 April 2014, 12:26:55 am
Quote from: Sassy Slapper on 08 April 2014, 09:43:33 pm
I had a fun text the other day, was going well till I got this cracker..

"you don't charge do you?"

errrrrr

This is the best I get a few oh them, then reply will always be along the lines of come on i'll show a really good time you'll be missing out.

Oh yes I forgot lol, nevermind i have sex at least twice a day everyday, i'm just gagging for abit more. For free.

Silly me. x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 13 April 2014, 01:50:32 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 12 April 2014, 11:21:42 pm
I received this text a couple of hours ago but it's took until now to come through since it was such a long text and I have such a shit work phone, in his opinion it's better to text but I massively disagree hence having it clear that I don't respnd to texts, if he'd phoned me then I'd probably have seen him but since he text I ignored and waited 2 and a half hours on it coming through.........

Hi K, I'd love to meet you in about 1 hour from now for 1 hour tonight if your free. I know you say you don't answer SMS but actually this is the mode efficient way to establish the basics, if this ok just SMS me "ok" and I will call you within seconds. Btw....I am 42 but sun tanned (but not like you) fit, good looking etc and even got asked 1 hour ago for my autograph by some tipsy young ladies who stopped me thinking I was "Sting" lol...let me know what you think.

It went on to say something else but that still hasn't came through but I think I have got the jist of it. Well I dont think sting is good looking not that looks matter as I am providing a service that I get paid for and I think you should have phoned instead of wasted your time sending a big long message that I won't reply to! And also there is no need to establish the basics when the basics are on my profile which of course I a am happy to confirm over the phone!

I just ignored the message! He must've a timewaster as surely if someone wanted to see me, they would just phone like I ask and not text like I ask??

Bit in bold - this would have had me deleting, cos mentioning his age, tan, fitness AND looks in one message - let alone the ONE SENTENCE! - screams TW.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 13 April 2014, 12:56:43 pm
I know, I couldn't give a shot what they look like, all I care about is that they are friendly, clean, respectful and reliable x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ana30 on 15 April 2014, 03:49:28 am
An e-mail I got a few days ago:

Hi Ana,

Hope you're doing well. I cannot afford your services but I'm currently a student looking forward to meeting you.

I'm willing to offer my services in return for yours. What can I offer? I am very good at reading the financial markets. I follow the markets very closely and I'm passionate about stocks.  I've made lots of my friends good money with market information and never charge them for this knowledge - an occasional meal maybe!I can give you good stock recommendations that will give you a min of 50% return on your investment within 3 months. GUARANTEED! Like you, I believe in sharing knowledge and trading services, so everyone has the benefit of learning a new trade. I am only asking you to show me your sex secrets in return for valuable market knowledge. This can make you lots of money, which will depend on how much you can invest :)

I await your positive response and hope to meet you soon.

Signed xxxxx


I wanted to e-mail him back that if he's soooo financially saavy, so passionate about stocks and can double everybody's money in 3 months... why is he penniless? (I'm no high class hooker).

Just asking. This kid is definately business savvy. But I think I'll pass lol

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: frankiework on 15 April 2014, 07:51:27 am
Maybe one of AW's best so far for me?...

This I received this morning.

Hello ****

First of all I see that you have not long joined aw which is great. as I am looking for a girl that is new to the adlt world, i dont want an old hard cold girl like they usually turn into.
**(Read my profile twat features, it says I have been doing this for longer)**

I was hopin we could meet once before i book you. dont worry no sex, just chat and  a strip tease so i can see what your body is like. i will even meet u in a coffee shop so u dont have to worry about me coming to ur house str8 away.
cheers  *** xx




 Am I still supposed to do the striptease in the middle of costa?  :FF

 

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 15 April 2014, 10:26:36 am
What he means is he likes the newbies because they aren't as savvy about the boundary pushers and the ones who take advantage like this guy!

As you become more experienced, you become wise to twats like this and tell them to do one......that's what he doesn't like!

Why the fuck would you take time out of your day to either go and meet this guy or for him to come and meet you for free? We sell our time and whatever happens in that time is up to the two of you! A strip tease is still a service!!!!

It's guys like this that put the decent young girls off the industry! Chancing idiot!

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RR on 15 April 2014, 10:34:49 am
Quote from: frankiework on 15 April 2014, 07:51:27 am
Maybe one of AW's best so far for me?...

This I received this morning.

Hello ****

First of all I see that you have not long joined aw which is great. as I am looking for a girl that is new to the adlt world, i dont want an old hard cold girl like they usually turn into.
**(Read my profile twat features, it says I have been doing this for longer)**

I was hopin we could meet once before i book you. dont worry no sex, just chat and  a strip tease so i can see what your body is like. i will even meet u in a coffee shop so u dont have to worry about me coming to ur house str8 away.
cheers  *** xx




 Am I still supposed to do the striptease in the middle of costa?  :FF

I had to shower as I could feel the slime from his email getting on me
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 15 April 2014, 03:17:42 pm
Quote from: Ana30 on 15 April 2014, 03:49:28 am
An e-mail I got a few days ago:

Hi Ana,

Hope you're doing well. I cannot afford your services but I'm currently a student looking forward to meeting you.

I'm willing to offer my services in return for yours. What can I offer? I am very good at reading the financial markets. I follow the markets very closely and I'm passionate about stocks.  I've made lots of my friends good money with market information and never charge them for this knowledge - an occasional meal maybe!I can give you good stock recommendations that will give you a min of 50% return on your investment within 3 months. GUARANTEED! Like you, I believe in sharing knowledge and trading services, so everyone has the benefit of learning a new trade. I am only asking you to show me your sex secrets in return for valuable market knowledge. This can make you lots of money, which will depend on how much you can invest :)

I await your positive response and hope to meet you soon.

Signed xxxxx


I wanted to e-mail him back that if he's soooo financially saavy, so passionate about stocks and can double everybody's money in 3 months... why is he penniless? (I'm no high class hooker).

Just asking. This kid is definately business savvy. But I think I'll pass lol

Love it....  I would reply saying of course.  However our meeting will only take place after I have seen a 50% return on my investment as obviously my time is money and I need that upfront before any services are made available.  Being so savvy about business you will be able to understand only a fool would give away their stock (my services) without having been paid first
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 15 April 2014, 05:19:43 pm
God loves a trier though doesn't he x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 15 April 2014, 07:31:33 pm
Well Hello Miss Alice , what a refreshing change to see a woman of substance on this site , i would love to spend a absolute filthy night of fun ,fueled with dialog , drinks , and if you permit a quality sniff , please let me no how you feel about this , i live in Stockport but who is prepared to travel , mail me or phone  , i can promise you a night to remember , i have a wicked sense of humor , , i am respectful , clean , honest , and above all funny , i always smell good , but depending on how you look at it, i am a very naughty boy , , but tasteful with impeccable manners and i treat ladies like Gods, i work with in the film & tv industry along with bands that tour , i. i have some gorgeous outfits that have come from film sets , if you like dress for pleasure i certainly can accommodate , i simply love ladies that take pride in there appearance especially those who look fantastically Horny and sexy , in sensual stockings , tight fitting pencil skirts , Killer heels are a must , and the brightest of red lipstick , false eyelashes are also nice,let me no if you like to dress up for fun filth and pleasure , love to no what floats your boat to , let me no if you have a window for such an overnight and how much you want ? speak soon take care , Kind Regards Paul x



1. Don't begin your message to me by insulting other escorts. We're all women of substance, pal.
2. Quality sniff? Off you fuck.
3. He's "prepared to travel" even though it's clear I only do outcalls.
4. Apparently he's the perfect man in every respect well gosh, I'm surprised he's not claiming to be a male escort ...
5. ... but instead works in film & tv & music all at the same time, and gets to keep expensive outfits. There's the fantasy job. Of course there's bound to be one.
6. "Let me no what floats your boat to" PEOPLE WHO LEARNED HOW TO SPELL AND USE COMMAS CORRECTLY.
7. "and how much you want ?" Fees clearly detailed in profile. Someone wants a discount.
8. Also, dude has three other aliases who are all women offering services. Um.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 15 April 2014, 09:29:52 pm
I'm not a grammer nazi or anything but the comma's!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ScarletWoman on 15 April 2014, 11:45:36 pm
"hello, I'm texting on my friend's phone. His name is Stephen and he has an appointment booked with you in a few weeks time (he doesn't. I don't know Stephen.) something terrible has happened and he has been badly assaulted at work. Since this happened he hasn't been out of the house. We are all really worried about him. I wondered if you could possibly help. I realise this is a strange request, but could you possibly come round to his house and see him for half an hour, for free, and see if you can make him feel better about himself again. I'm sure he would book you again afterwards."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 15 April 2014, 11:49:11 pm
And I am not the spelling or grammar police either as mines is total shit but this guy has sent such a pompous  twatish email (which reminds me of someone in Glasgow) but then fails to spell the word "know"  and "too"  a hell of a lot ::)

Quality sniff LOL what a turd!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 15 April 2014, 11:50:28 pm
Quote from: Amber_Chelt on 15 April 2014, 11:45:36 pm
"hello, I'm texting on my friend's phone. His name is Stephen and he has an appointment booked with you in a few weeks time (he doesn't. I don't know Stephen.) something terrible has happened and he has been badly assaulted at work. Since this happened he hasn't been out of the house. We are all really worried about him. I wondered if you could possibly help. I realise this is a strange request, but could you possibly come round to his house and see him for half an hour, for free, and see if you can make him feel better about himself again. I'm sure he would book you again afterwards."

OMG!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! seriously WTF?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ScarletWoman on 16 April 2014, 12:03:44 am
Saw a 22 year old virgin who I initially had down as a timewaster as he messed about over a couple of bookings. In the end he was okay, a bit arrogant and he saw I wasn't impressed when he referred to me as a prossie. I put it down to nerves. He made another booking the next week, nagging for owo and anal, which he failed to show for. Then, two days later:
"can I ask, have you had a checkup since we met??
"why, what's up?". (me dreading what he's going to say, but not too worried as everything had been protected, even the brief minute of oral.)
"my body feels a bit tingly all over, and I thought there might be something wrong wiv you."

Told him "tingling body" is not a symptom, but to go docs if he was worried. I had actually had clear gum results back before his booking but I wasn't going to reassure him after he hadn't even bothered to show up. I said if he did go to have hisv"deeply concerning, very serious tingling" looked at, to be sure to let me know as I probably wouldn't sleep all week knowing he had this gravely serious tingling. The dick actually went, text me to say doc said nothing to worry about, which was a relief as it could have been very serious, and did I fancy some fun?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: frankiework on 16 April 2014, 12:32:02 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 15 April 2014, 10:26:36 am
What he means is he likes the newbies because they aren't as savvy about the boundary pushers and the ones who take advantage like this guy!

As you become more experienced, you become wise to twats like this and tell them to do one......that's what he doesn't like!

Why the fuck would you take time out of your day to either go and meet this guy or for him to come and meet you for free? We sell our time and whatever happens in that time is up to the two of you! A strip tease is still a service!!!!

It's guys like this that put the decent young girls off the industry! Chancing idiot!

xx

Haha! please don't take my bottom line as me actually thinking about doing it, These messages go in the what I call... Read, Laugh and ignore pile!

How ever, I have met far too many people in the past that would fall for these things, which is worrying!

x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 16 April 2014, 02:12:55 am
Lol. Tingling body? Goodness. I wonder how how copes with pins & needles. Or a mild fever. I hope his doctor got a good laugh out of his visit.

But do guys really think it's acceptable to accuse us of potentially giving them something, then ask for services (or "fun") afterwards? Nah mate.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RR on 16 April 2014, 10:24:58 am
Quote from: Amber_Chelt on 16 April 2014, 12:03:44 am
Saw a 22 year old virgin who I initially had down as a timewaster as he messed about over a couple of bookings. In the end he was okay, a bit arrogant and he saw I wasn't impressed when he referred to me as a prossie. I put it down to nerves. He made another booking the next week, nagging for owo and anal, which he failed to show for. Then, two days later:
"can I ask, have you had a checkup since we met??
"why, what's up?". (me dreading what he's going to say, but not too worried as everything had been protected, even the brief minute of oral.)
"my body feels a bit tingly all over, and I thought there might be something wrong wiv you."

Told him "tingling body" is not a symptom, but to go docs if he was worried. I had actually had clear gum results back before his booking but I wasn't going to reassure him after he hadn't even bothered to show up. I said if he did go to have hisv"deeply concerning, very serious tingling" looked at, to be sure to let me know as I probably wouldn't sleep all week knowing he had this gravely serious tingling. The dick actually went, text me to say doc said nothing to worry about, which was a relief as it could have been very serious, and did I fancy some fun?!

Well I'm on betablockers and due to my blood pressure being lowered, I sometimes get bad pins and needles in my hands where I sit like an odd person working out the tingling... I thought it was being on medication to prevent migraines but nope its cuz I'm a whore and riddled ;D

LOL re Stephen! Fuckwit
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 16 April 2014, 10:29:45 am
Me: Hello
Idiot: Hiya, you doing any deals on oral?

Phone goes down!

Do some of them actually think that whether I was doing  deals or not (not that I would be) that I would invite someone over for a bj? Really?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 16 April 2014, 02:27:24 pm
Just had a guy tell me that I AM RUDE because I hung up in him after he asked me for a 15 minute appointment (which I don't do and I told him that) then he asked if I do sex??  So at that point I am not interested, wasn't interested after the first question never mind the second.

If he thinks I am rude for not entertaining his call then I think he's rude for not having a clue what day of the week it is never mind anything about me.

He then text me saying he went to see a girl and she didn't offer sex, only massage.......I said it's his fault for not reading adverts and he will continue to turn up to places and be disappointed when the girl doesn't offer what he ASSUMES is available because he isn't reading the information provided.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mistress-Devon on 16 April 2014, 07:21:39 pm
I must agree with you...

Im a Dominatrix who advertises on aw... Therefore I offer GFE and PSE automatically??

Hah the look on their face when they see me in a leather outfit armed with a strap on... Love it

I get really pissed off when they say "Oh I don't have internet to look at your profile..." and you got my number how exactly?
Best one today "I just GRABBED your number and left the office...."

I thought my name MISTRESS DEVON was a dead give away, apparently not

READ PROFILES YOU STUPID MEN
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 16 April 2014, 07:45:43 pm
The "your profile doesn't say whether you offer X or Y, will you do them?" makes me lol.
Well if they're not on my list of services you can go ahead and assume no. Like, I don't go to a restaurant and expect a huge list of meals they won't cook for me, just a menu of the ones they do. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 16 April 2014, 08:02:49 pm
Quote from: Mistress-Devon on 16 April 2014, 07:21:39 pm
I must agree with you...

Im a Dominatrix who advertises on aw... Therefore I offer GFE and PSE automatically??

Hah the look on their face when they see me in a leather outfit armed with a strap on... Love it

I get really pissed off when they say "Oh I don't have internet to look at your profile..." and you got my number how exactly?
Best one today "I just GRABBED your number and left the office...."

I thought my name MISTRESS DEVON was a dead give away, apparently not

READ PROFILES YOU STUPID MEN

PAHAHA my friend she doms on cam and the guys get really pissed off with her when she is rude.... no shit!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 17 April 2014, 07:48:17 pm
A client today enquired about him and his wife. I gave a price that was lower than 2 'lots of my out call hourly rate. He replied with will need to think about it. I thought to myself if cannot afford don't play simple as that. That is the last time I try to be reasonable like that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 17 April 2014, 08:44:49 pm
After a month of correspondence with this guy, I genuinely believe he is bat shit crazy.

Beginning of March I received an email asking for an outcall to West Ayton (small village somewhere near Scarborough) I'm in Leeds so I told him I wasn't willing to drive that far. He sent me an essay about how he has his own business and will pay extra to cover travel etc, so I said that's fine but I'd require a deposit upfront. He said no, I'm trustworthy so of course I refused. I thought that would be the end of it. Every hour I received long texts explaining how he wasn't willing to pay a deposit but wanted a booking, and how it would actually benefit me to see him as he was "young and attractive so wouldn't that be a nice change? And I'm getting really good at playing my guitar and I'm looking to join a band so I might be famous soon"  What. The. Fuck?!
About 10 messages a day, talking about how hed be famous one day and then I'd be sorry that I hadn't been to see him. How hed be my regular etc. And my personal favourite; he wasn't willing to pay a deposit, but hed come from Scarborough to Leeds to meet me for a coffee so I could see that he was genuine:
"I'll even buy you one of those coffees with a leaf in the froth, would you like that Claire?"
Let me point out I had stopped replying a week ago when he first declined to pay a deposit. At this point I threatened to report him for harrasment and the txts stopped.
My phone had an accident so I put my sim in a new one, losing all my contacts in the process.
A couple of weeks later I received a txt asking for an incall in 2 hours time. All arranged and confirmed etc, then 10 minutes before the booking was due to start I txted to check he was nearly here...: "I'm not coming. I don't want to see a prostitute" erm... And before I could respond "I'm gonna buy a new guitar instead, I'm gonna be famous soon so I don't need to see a prostitute"
At that point I twigged  and blocked his number, which I couldn't on my old phone.

What a fruit loop!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 17 April 2014, 08:48:11 pm
Fuck me, I wouldn't go to West Ayton and I'm in Scarborough :D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mistress-Devon on 18 April 2014, 07:31:36 pm
Just got this text..

sexy master down in (insert town) for one night, willing to pay 300 cash for ALL night

Woweee... my luck is in lol

Not only do I not submit to masters, im also x4 that price for ALL night lol

NOT FOR ME TA...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: frankiework on 19 April 2014, 10:21:43 am
I seem to be getting them all this week.

Twit - I'm skint but I have an Iphone 4, it's worth loads, can we swap for that?
Me - I already have a phone
Twit - Yes, but you can sell it
Me - Why don't you sell it before you come round and then you will have the cash?
Twit - I tried, it is broken so no one will have it.
Me - *Click*     :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 19 April 2014, 11:47:29 am
OMG lol what an idiot, haha x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 19 April 2014, 01:03:40 pm
My guy this morning on aw said this:

'
Hi, it's the young lawyer guy you saw a while ago.

If you ever want to exchange your services for my help/advice with law and your studying then let me know :) x'

My response:

'Haha, that's brilliant by far the best email Ive had today...

I think i'll go to my tutor get free help and charge you anyway :)

Thanks all the same

R x'

To then recieve this:

'It was a genuinely friendly offer. No need to be a dick.

One thing you should learn about a career in law. Never turn down a helping hand. Good luck getting a job with no contacts :) x'

Oh I do apologise Mr grade A you havent even passed your degree student, i'm just desperate to shag you for an hour for your topclass help...

LOL
x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kinkyboots on 20 April 2014, 01:58:05 pm

I've had two accounts on adultwork over the past 18 months, and the same person has done the same thing on both of them. It's an account called "Pro male" claiming to live at a seafront apartment, the account has one feedback but from "member inactive" so i've no idea whether somebodies seen them or they've left their own feedback (it happens ive been told)

I always specify on my profile that i need a minimum of two hours notice for an outcall, yet they keep emailing me at random intervals, usually late at night, asking for an outcall within that hour, or at a time when my profile states i'll be unavailable. This happens numerous times a week and when i've offered them an incall as i'd be able to accomodate those easier, he says he doesn't like incalls and prefers to be at home. Fair enough.

He's sent something a bit peculiar before saying "can you come and see me at my seafront apartment for an hour, and i'll take you for a rib eye steak afterwards ;)" Thats not very professional is it? To assume i'd want to go for a meal with him afterwards, presumably for free by the way he's written it

Then today for example, just five minutes ago he says he wants an hours outcall (which i require a minimum of two notice for) but has to be out for half past three? How is that doable when it's already five to two in the afternoon.

It just seems like every time they want an appointment (there's been at least 10-15 occasions i kid you not) they know full well that it'll not be a possibility under the requested circumstances, so i'm not sure what his game is.

I've never had such difficulty with a client booking before in all of my escorting time (around 2 years)

I checked their profile today after they emailed they are now advertising as a "pro male escort" at ?100 an hour  :FF

What is this guy?  ???

He's now blocked. Something i should of done a long time ago. Alarm bells!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 April 2014, 02:03:08 pm
Make sure you also block him from being able to book you as well just incase he takes umbrage and tries to leave shitty feedback.Just sounds like a common all garden dickhead from a.w who is probably emailing the same thing to a dozen girls.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 20 April 2014, 02:10:32 pm
Quote from: bibi link=topic=1637.msg1
Just sounds like a common all garden dickhead from a.w who is probably emailing the same thing to a dozen girls.

I agree - textbook timewaster. In fact I'm actually irritated that KB spent even the amount of time on him that it must have taken to write that post which probably means I should eat more easter egg :D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 20 April 2014, 02:14:19 pm
During the week, someone emailed me through AW asking for 3 hours for Sunday (today!) in the city centre. I gave a hesitant yes and told him that me must ring me to confirm with all his details before 10am on Sunday, then made plans with my friend because I gathered this dude would be a timewaster.

Logged into AW on my laptop yesterday to see this guy has four aliases, only one with feedback which was negative. ::) Not sure why the mobile app didn't show these aliases earlier. Must've been a glitch. So I realise he's either gonna cancel, or not contact me again. Sure enough at 4:20am he emails claiming he's been in a car accident and can't make the booking.

So I'm off out to the beer garden! Happy Easter everyone!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 20 April 2014, 03:01:13 pm
Actually this was just me being a smart ass:

I got a text at 1am this morning (Easter Sunday): "RU Available Later?"

I replied, "It already is later. Christ has risen. Go to bed."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 20 April 2014, 09:31:01 pm
Received this gem of an offer earlier this evening. Was a toughie to turn down... ::)

Date:20/04/2014 21:11
From:inferno1 (0) Profile  View All
Subject:Re: Booking


Lol no I'm not after sex chat it's just I find it very difficult to cum off blow jobs, I've only cum a few times before from them.

Also I'm a male model I'm ripped and very good looking (no brag) would you offer a discount?

I have no problem getting girls but I'm not out tonight and need to have sex!!


Replied that his modelling career musnt be very successful if he requires a discount. Still waiting for a reply!

UPDATE:

He's replied. Not even going to respond to this bullshit lol!

At no point did I say I couldn't afford your prices, you're "assuming" that's the reason I asked for a discount, which isn't the case!

It's principle, you should be paying to sleep with a commerical male model like me, serious. I wouldn't describe myself as "just" fit and ripped I would go as far to say I'm extremely good looking so much so that my ex girlfriend was a very famous actress of course I can prove this by providing my social media.

You may have guys you can call to get laid but I would be betting they wasn't as attractive as me (no e-brag)

My modeling career pays me enough to own a 2013 model Audi RS5 (paid for cash) ;)

So are we going to cut a deal I want to put your BJ boasts to the test.
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 20 April 2014, 10:26:00 pm
"You should be paying me" HAHAHAHAHHAHA. So incredibly gorgeous and ripped (no brag) that he needs to beg sex from escorts, even though he can afford a super cool car.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Swedish on 20 April 2014, 10:51:53 pm
Lol, this guy offered me 20pounds,  then  calls me saying things to me like:

"why are you doing this?"
"how you going to find a boyfriend if you tell him you been doing this job, nobody wants a girlfriend like that"

, witch i politely  answered saying,: it would not be a problem i would  never date a ignorant, judgmental boy like you :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 20 April 2014, 11:01:32 pm
Quote from: Swedish on 20 April 2014, 10:51:53 pm
Lol, this guy offered me 20pounds,  then  calls me saying things to me like:

"why are you doing this?"
"how you going to find a boyfriend if you tell him you been doing this job, nobody wants a girlfriend like that"

, witch i politely  answered saying,: it would not be a problem i would  never date a ignorant, judgmental boy like you :)

Swedish, are you from Merseyside? He just emailed me again saying that a Swedish gir from Merseyside offered him an hour for free when she saw his picture lol! But he couldn't be bothered to drive that far lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 20 April 2014, 11:56:40 pm
BJC this guy has to be one of the biggest twats I've ever heard of. Talk about cringe!!!! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 21 April 2014, 12:06:38 am
Sorry this is a long post but I've had 2 playing email tennis and I am so desperate for bookings as it's been an expensive month with everything breaking and Easter weekend is always so quiet.
First had a frustrating game of email tennis with some charmer who found my website but didn't bother to read any of it.

Him: hi, do you offer dress up services?
Me: What do you mean? x
Him: would you wear requested clothes? x
Him: or uniforms/outfits?x
Me: I don't have any uniforms, just normal clothes x
Him: any extra short dresses? x
Him: or skirts? x
Me: Yeah I have some short dresses and skirts x
Him: could you describe your favourite?x
Me: It's just a plain black skirt, I don't own much short clothing as I don't dress like that mostly x
Him: prefer classier clothes? x
Him: & do you do 3sums/4sums? x
Me: Hi [name] please read my website [link] and my AW page [link] to get an idea of who I am and what I do. I offer a very vanilla GFE, not a porn star experience. I don't do dressing like a 'whore', threesomes, group sex, uniforms, toys etc. x
Him: are you free tonight? x
Me: don't message me again please, you're clearly looking for a porn star type experience and my website clearly describes that I offer GFE only


Then a guy asked for an hour tonight through AW. I turned down a late night booking on my old account and he told me that he would've probably extended it to several hours and I would've made so much money but he'll just book another escort instead of me, etc. So he's one of those types.. But probably manageable for one hour. I thought..

him: Are you,free tonight for an outcall in Carlisle? 1 hour. Also was nationality are you? [name] xxx
me: Yeah I'll be available tonight early evening, about between 7-9pm ish I think. I'm british x
him: Awesome!!! 8-30 is good for me.. What will you wear? I love stockings and suspenders.. Also are you fully shaven?
me: Yes I am, I can wear hold ups but I don't have any suspenders like the old fashioned kind x
him: Ok sexy. Do you come dressed casual? As I don't want neighbours getting suspicious.. Lol. You want address now? Xxx
me: Yeah I'll just be wearing normal clothes, don't want your neighbours to think anything :) Could you send me a booking request with all the details please? x
him: Great!!! Ok. I'll book soon and give address.. Thanks again sexy.. [name] xxxxx
him: Just so you know I'm clean... I shave my cock and balls every week. So I'm nice and smooth down there.. Have you ever had sex in a waterbed? I have a waterbed. I love it. Makes sex really good too ;-) xxx
me: I haven't on a waterbed no, I'm sure it will be fun :) x
him: It sure will. I can't wait to see you strip out of your clothes and be in ur stockings. Can I ask you what's ur fave position? Xxxxx
me: I don't really have one, probably just missionary or cowgirl x
him: Wow!!! I love cowgirl position!!!! Especially with ur boobs in my face.. What size are ur boobs baby? Xxxxx
me: B cup I think, pic on my profile x
him: It says b cup.. But the foto looks like they are a LOT bigger.. I like ur pierced nipple.. You have any more piercings? Xxxxx
me: No just nipple x
him: Ok. That's nice.. Where r u from sexy? Can't wait to see you at 8:30 tonight.. Xxxxx
me: I'm not local but I was born in England, see you tonight :) xx
him: Ok sexy.. Can't wait.. Hope ur feeling horny.. Xxxxxxxxx

By this point I was ready to cancel the booking, I was sitting in my car a few blocks away thinking maybe this isn't worth it because usually I really like my clients and we get on well and I feel good knowing I'm not faking anything :-\
Then he sent me a message saying his girlfriend had came home and he had to cancel the booking. 30 mins before I was due at his! I had to travel 1 hour to get there.
I replied saying it obviously wasn't meant to be, what a shame.. He then messaged a few mins later saying his girlfriend is gone, can I come now? errr so she can pop back in because she's forgotten something halfway through the booking?! no thanks! I told him I gave his booking to one of my regulars. But really I went to a bar and contemplated wasted petrol over a mocktail ;D got home and an email from a lovely client asking for tomorrow afternoon. funny how these things work out :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 21 April 2014, 12:11:16 am
Erm I've seen clients who are movie star looking with huge cocks and great personalities and they all payed full price to see me. My word. Honestly with that guys attitude I would rather fuck an andrew lloyd webber lookalike at full price then him at a discount.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 21 April 2014, 12:23:12 am
I know! I couldn't resist replying in the end, I did mention in my reply thasure they didnt plenty of real actors and footballers etc have been caught with hookers, and I'm pretty sure they didn't ask for a discount on the principle of them being so fit and ripped!
Then I received a load of shit about how I won't ever get a bf because I take 10 cocks a day, and asking me how much cash I earn?! Weirdo fantasist!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 21 April 2014, 12:25:09 am
Quote from: BJC on 21 April 2014, 12:23:12 am
I know! I couldn't resist replying in the end, I did mention in my reply thasure they didnt plenty of real actors and footballers etc have been caught with hookers, and I'm pretty sure they didn't ask for a discount on the principle of them being so fit and ripped!
Then I received a load of shit about how I won't ever get a bf because I take 10 cocks a day, and asking me how much cash I earn?! Weirdo fantasist!

Haha bless. I think you may have baited a troll there.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Swedish on 21 April 2014, 12:46:20 pm
Quote from: BJC on 20 April 2014, 11:01:32 pm
Quote from: Swedish on 20 April 2014, 10:51:53 pm
Lol, this guy offered me 20pounds,  then  calls me saying things to me like:

"why are you doing this?"
"how you going to find a boyfriend if you tell him you been doing this job, nobody wants a girlfriend like that"

, witch i politely  answered saying,: it would not be a problem i would  never date a ignorant, judgmental boy like you :)

Swedish, are you from Merseyside? He just emailed me again saying that a Swedish gir from Merseyside offered him an hour for free when she saw his picture lol! But he couldn't be bothered to drive that far lol!

HAHAHA yah im in Merseyside, i rejected the photos, did not care how he looked, he kept telling me tho about a holiday he had in Sweden where alllll the girls were over him. :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 21 April 2014, 03:19:14 pm
Any more chat of this ripped male model wannabe and am gonna be sick as it's making me cringe so bad x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 21 April 2014, 03:23:06 pm
Just had a belter lol.
Bloke rang wanting an hour later on but then asked what I looked like...erm so you want to book but haven't looked at the photos?
He claimed they would not load on his phone.Giving him the benefit of the doubt I sent him my website address.
He then rang back and asked if I was the lady with the curly hair...er yes the lady you rang a few mins ago.
He then said he couldn't book me because my phone must be shit as he could hear echoing at his end!I mean eh???Lmao!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 21 April 2014, 05:42:26 pm
OMG lol.........

Me: Hello
Him: Hello could I book you for a half hour?
Me: I don't have any availability until Wednesday nite unless I get a cancellation, does that suit or did you have as specific day/time in mind?
Him: No Wednesday nite is fine, can you do it for ?30?
Me: What? Is this a joke? Your ?70 short if my advertised fee!!!!!
Him: Aye but the Chinese are doing it for ?30
Me: Go and see the Chinese then!

 ::)  ::)

That's the second time I've actually had that phone call about a year apart and different numbers so not sure if it's the same person or not, I mean really? ?70 short........asking for a tenner off is rude in my book but ?70?? Idiot!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 21 April 2014, 05:56:26 pm
Sure you ladies have had calls similar to this,

Hi is that ****?
Yes,
Can I have you address I am going to book you for 7pm!

Oh are you really! I'm not a fucking cab! Get lost
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 22 April 2014, 12:13:41 am
Just checked my emails & credits before bed and have an email from 11:45pm

"hi are you available for a booking now"

YES BABY I was sat around in my sexy kecks hoping you'd email before midnight. Let me read your mind to find out where you're located, how long you want to see me for and what kind of booking you want, then I'll get right on it.

The reply I actually sent was "No."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Grumpy Cow on 22 April 2014, 12:47:48 am
AliceRed you're just a lazy contrary wench!   ;D

Hahaha  I think you should have sent version one but chances are this person would not have got the sarcasm even if it slapped him in the face like a wet haddock  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 22 April 2014, 01:08:58 am
I seem to be attracting all the idiots today, just got this cracker:

Chancer: Hey if u cnt deep throat me do I get a refund?

Me: If I can do I get double?


I know I shouldn't have replied, but a days worth of silly messages has put me in a silly mood!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 22 April 2014, 10:53:44 am
Just had a guy ring me up......

Me: Hello
Him: Hello are you working this morning?
Me: Yes I am but I don't have any availability!
Him: What? Well that's not very helpful is it?
Me: I just paused for a second thinking, really? I said to him well I am fully booked for today (genuinely) and my morning appointments need to be booked the day before.
Him: OK

I've no idea whether he was joking or not but to be so shocked that I am not available is silly? Unless I get a cancellation, I am fully booked until Thursday and I require notice for any booking never mind a morning time one. If someone wants to book me in the morning then it needs to be booked the day before otherwise why I am I going to be siting at 11am with my hair all done, make up all done and looking like I am going on a nite out just like my pictures? Some of them are just so thoughtless, there is a real misconception that we sit here 24/7 in our underwear in a grotty flat somewhere working like a revolving door........I suppose there will be some like that but they need to learn to read a profile and it will help them be less disappointed!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 22 April 2014, 11:51:58 am
Him: Hello is this K?
Me: Yes
Him: How are you?
Me: I'm good thank you, you?
Him: Aye am just wankin ma dick!
Me: Good for you ya little creep, well done!

 ::)  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosa on 22 April 2014, 02:02:57 pm
Quote from: kinkyboots on 20 April 2014, 01:58:05 pm

I've had two accounts on adultwork over the past 18 months, and the same person has done the same thing on both of them. It's an account called "Pro male" claiming to live at a seafront apartment, the account has one feedback but from "member inactive" so i've no idea whether somebodies seen them or they've left their own feedback (it happens ive been told)

I always specify on my profile that i need a minimum of two hours notice for an outcall, yet they keep emailing me at random intervals, usually late at night, asking for an outcall within that hour, or at a time when my profile states i'll be unavailable. This happens numerous times a week and when i've offered them an incall as i'd be able to accomodate those easier, he says he doesn't like incalls and prefers to be at home. Fair enough.

He's sent something a bit peculiar before saying "can you come and see me at my seafront apartment for an hour, and i'll take you for a rib eye steak afterwards ;)" Thats not very professional is it? To assume i'd want to go for a meal with him afterwards, presumably for free by the way he's written it

Then today for example, just five minutes ago he says he wants an hours outcall (which i require a minimum of two notice for) but has to be out for half past three? How is that doable when it's already five to two in the afternoon.

It just seems like every time they want an appointment (there's been at least 10-15 occasions i kid you not) they know full well that it'll not be a possibility under the requested circumstances, so i'm not sure what his game is.

I've never had such difficulty with a client booking before in all of my escorting time (around 2 years)

I checked their profile today after they emailed they are now advertising as a "pro male escort" at ?100 an hour  :FF

What is this guy?  ???

He's now blocked. Something i should of done a long time ago. Alarm bells!

I had a local guy do something similar. Every Friday night for weeks he'd get in touch at or around the time I tend to officially turn my phone off, or when I was not working or already booked asking firstly for outcall, then later an incall. Each time I'd say no thank you, if you want a booking please check availability, and also advising to book in advance. Each time he'd say yes, apologise, say he was sorry, will do, then do the same again.

He did eventually make a couple of daytime advance bookings, only to not confirm in the morning.

This lead me to believe he was simply having a few beers, feeling horny and getting in touch with the local prossie at that point would seem like a good idea.

After the no confirms I said I'd need a deposit before I'd engage in any further communications, and gave him the instructions to do this. He promised faithfully that he was genuine and would be organising the deposit ready for next time he got the urge. Predictably he didn't. What then followed were more texts late at night saying he had my hourly rate in cash, can he come see me there and then. I blocked him.

Being polite can bite you in the bum, but there comes a point when you have to decide to ignore the pleas of genuineness.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 22 April 2014, 03:20:13 pm
I've had a few emails off a man before asking me if I'm british, if I'm from the town where I'm based, how long I've been escorting for.. Questions which have nothing to do with arranging a booking.

He messaged me again and I saw he's changed his name to 'Male Escort' and his profile now reads
"Blow jobs ?50
READY TO MEET DAY OR NIGHT.
MSG IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO MEET. ?50 blow job come in my mouth or on my cock."

But his profile says he's male and straight. Is he advertising a service where a lady pays him ?50 to give him a blow job or am I getting confused? He wants a booking but I refuse to see 'male escorts' as they like to ask for discounts, shared content (aka free sex and wank bank material), or to tell me I should be paying them because they're such a stud ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sexy scottish nina on 22 April 2014, 03:23:29 pm
I had somebody similar yesterday, looked at his profile and listed unprotected, i said id see him under the condition that everything would be protected including oral . He agreed, made booking and never even bothered to turn up, grrr
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Grumpy Cow on 22 April 2014, 03:39:57 pm
Errr maybe I am being grumpy but this was meant to be a lighthearted long running thread to share funny anecdotes and weird stories not repetitive whinging?  It's usually a highlight to click on here  :)     
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 22 April 2014, 04:49:07 pm
Yeah your living up to your name on this one  :P

But I get what your saying, think Amy said the exact same thing just recently!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 23 April 2014, 08:48:19 am
"Can you take credit card tonight for hotel booking overnight?" by text at 1am.

24/7 sex vending machine, me.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 23 April 2014, 04:27:48 pm
"Hi i am 16 & never had a bj as my gf dont like them. Wud u b able to change this 4 me? me being 16 means i dont got money so wot if we bcum fuk buddies so u get enjoyment 2."

...Hahahahahahahahahaha.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: French Delight on 24 April 2014, 03:28:38 pm
Ok I'm new here but not new to the business...

Him : Hi there I would like to book a meeting with you on Monday. Please advise so we can make arrangements.
Me : Ok, I'm available on Monday from 8pm, what would you like ?
Him : Oh, finally I have been offered a corporate ticket for the Arsenal game at The Emirates Monday night and as dinner is 6pm I will not be able to meet. So sorry but to good a chance to pass up.

Sure... a good football match is definitely better than a good BJ :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 24 April 2014, 07:47:43 pm
A text 5 minutes ago,

Hi can I fuck you if so how much? What's your address?

Say no more!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MM3 on 25 April 2014, 11:51:00 am
Really have to post this...
So in  a course of communication ( he seemed ok, and had 1 feedback, but it was a recently created profile) I received an email saying '' wear something outrageous, it really does something to me.''
I then asked to elaborate on it and he said ''something slutty and shiny and  extremely short''
I then asked how does he expected me to wail around dressed like that  (it supposed to be an outcall). He replied- ''A coat?
A coat ? Hello, its nearly a summer.
I then said that it all sounded too much of a hassle for me.
And boy, did he get angry.  :o
All in all he said, this was ridiculous and I needed a reality check  that he was gonna post his experience on some certain website, that I wanted his money for ''zero effort'' , how he runs international business and he would be out of business if he had the same attitude.
I couldn't help myself and replied that '' turning up at some place and f*ucking a total stranger seems a bit more then zero effort already  
I think it people are  spoilt these days and take too much for granted and their are ones who  needs a ''reality check''.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 25 April 2014, 01:37:50 pm
Just had a guy with newly created profile, no fb but several aliases ask if "we can do hardsports I want to shit in each others mouth and all over our bodies"

...Why do I always get the hardsports fans when I make it clear I don't offer them and  just the though of them turn my stomach :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 25 April 2014, 02:51:36 pm
"Can I ask if you will extend your Nottingham tour to include Lincoln, I'm sick of all the old slags here."

Yeesh
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 25 April 2014, 02:58:49 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 25 April 2014, 02:51:36 pm
"Can I ask if you will extend your Nottingham tour to include Lincoln, I'm sick of all the old slags here."

Yeesh

How delightfully...charming.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: aliceinwanderland on 25 April 2014, 06:44:58 pm
Had my first female timewaster today. It was so exciting, I stayed on the phone for like 10 minutes while she went through her fantasies :)...really want a woman play partner, need you to steal me away while my co-workers are in the other room, would you like to fuck a large black guy...i like to be dominated...

I finally hung up. But she got her free, though rather unresponsive phone sex. I just couldn't put down the phone I was in so much awe. Women do it too!!!!!!

OOH, NEW IDEAS ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 25 April 2014, 07:57:00 pm
Quote from: aliceinwanderland on 25 April 2014, 06:44:58 pm
Had my first female timewaster today. It was so exciting, I stayed on the phone for like 10 minutes while she went through her fantasies :)...really want a woman play partner, need you to steal me away while my co-workers are in the other room, would you like to fuck a large black guy...i like to be dominated...

I finally hung up. But she got her free, though rather unresponsive phone sex. I just couldn't put down the phone I was in so much awe. Women do it too!!!!!!

OOH, NEW IDEAS ;)

Germaine greer would be proud haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 25 April 2014, 09:13:19 pm
Quote from: aliceinwanderland on 25 April 2014, 06:44:58 pm
Had my first female timewaster today. It was so exciting, I stayed on the phone for like 10 minutes while she went through her fantasies :)...really want a woman play partner, need you to steal me away while my co-workers are in the other room, would you like to fuck a large black guy...i like to be dominated...

I finally hung up. But she got her free, though rather unresponsive phone sex. I just couldn't put down the phone I was in so much awe. Women do it too!!!!!!

OOH, NEW IDEAS ;)

Think I've had this one- did she have a really strong southern accent, and talk about her job requiring her to travel round the uk and stay in hotels a lot? And wanting you to go to xhamster and watch a clip of her in some sort of gangbang whilst on the phone to her... That's when I disengaged myself. Was quite annoyed that I'd allowed her to ramble on for so long, bbut she started the call with how she was nervous, never done this before, blah blah. Lol she was asking me about whether I preferred black cock or white cock, what's the naughtiest thing I'd ever done etc. I fobbed her off that I was in Asda when I realised she was a fantasist- so she rang back later asking me to go watch her on xhamster.
Told her I was busy and to let me know if/when shed like a booking. She must have lost my number...
I was pretty shocked with this behaviour from a woman!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosa on 25 April 2014, 09:38:18 pm
Quote from: BJC on 25 April 2014, 09:13:19 pm
Quote from: aliceinwanderland on 25 April 2014, 06:44:58 pm
Had my first female timewaster today. It was so exciting, I stayed on the phone for like 10 minutes while she went through her fantasies :)...really want a woman play partner, need you to steal me away while my co-workers are in the other room, would you like to fuck a large black guy...i like to be dominated...

I finally hung up. But she got her free, though rather unresponsive phone sex. I just couldn't put down the phone I was in so much awe. Women do it too!!!!!!

OOH, NEW IDEAS ;)
She's been doing it for years.

Think I've had this one- did she have a really strong southern accent, and talk about her job requiring her to travel round the uk and stay in hotels a lot? And wanting you to go to xhamster and watch a clip of her in some sort of gangbang whilst on the phone to her... That's when I disengaged myself. Was quite annoyed that I'd allowed her to ramble on for so long, bbut she started the call with how she was nervous, never done this before, blah blah. Lol she was asking me about whether I preferred black cock or white cock, what's the naughtiest thing I'd ever done etc. I fobbed her off that I was in Asda when I realised she was a fantasist- so she rang back later asking me to go watch her on xhamster.
Told her I was busy and to let me know if/when shed like a booking. She must have lost my number...
I was pretty shocked with this behaviour from a woman!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 26 April 2014, 03:16:55 am
Yep I have had her twice on a withheld number.
First time was when I was totally new.She wittered on about booking me for her and her lesbian lover in a posh hotel in Yorkshire but I had to be discreet as her lover was in fact an actress in Eastenders....she then started on about how her and her gf might like to watch me with a black fella...
Second time and 3 years later I just said look love you are more famous than your supposed lover...you are known all across the internet as crazy cat lady fantacist....get off my phone and go flick yourself off to Jezza Kyle instead!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosa on 26 April 2014, 07:13:55 am
"We are 2 men who want to buy you, phone me back" voicemail following call 3am this morning. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ScarletWoman on 26 April 2014, 01:05:18 pm
My personal fave, short and sweet:
"I'm 18 and want to lose my virginity. Do I have to bring my own condoms and are you tight I don't want to be shagging a bucket. Aha."

Aha.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 26 April 2014, 03:49:47 pm
Does he think he is Alan Partridge?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 26 April 2014, 04:41:58 pm
Quote from: Rosa on 26 April 2014, 07:13:55 am
"We are 2 men who want to buy you, phone me back" voicemail following call 3am this morning. ::)

Translation: "we are two jackasses who've been out drinking and failed to pull, so we assumed you'd be awake at 3am just hoping for a call from two casanovas such as us.".  ;D
Also buy you? You an action figure? Lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ScarletWoman on 26 April 2014, 06:23:20 pm
Quote from: bibi on 26 April 2014, 03:49:47 pm
Does he think he is Alan Partridge?

 ;D  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: aliceinwanderland on 27 April 2014, 11:21:02 pm
Quote from: bibi on 26 April 2014, 03:16:55 am
Yep I have had her twice on a withheld number.
First time was when I was totally new.She wittered on about booking me for her and her lesbian lover in a posh hotel in Yorkshire but I had to be discreet as her lover was in fact an actress in Eastenders....she then started on about how her and her gf might like to watch me with a black fella...
Second time and 3 years later I just said look love you are more famous than your supposed lover...you are known all across the internet as crazy cat lady fantacist....get off my phone and go flick yourself off to Jezza Kyle instead!

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Good to know there's ONE crazy female phone fantasist out there. NICE :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 28 April 2014, 05:28:10 pm
Text comes through.......

Him: Hi K, I seen u a few months ago but ballsed up etc. sorry. Am in glasgow tom could u recommend anyone or company ?

Me: What?

Him: I seen u a few months ago. I'm in glasgow tom and wondered if u knew anyone I could see?

Me: I think you need to not text me, I am not an escort guide.....that's what adultwork for.

I always get annoyed when guys phone asking for a booking and when I say I am not available they ask if I have any friends they could see but this is a new one where the guy contacts me (an independent escort) to see who else he could see?? I wonder what goes through some of their heads, seriously!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 28 April 2014, 05:36:22 pm
And now he's just text saying he messed up our last appointment but regrets messing me about cause when he met me he thought I was stunning and really enjoyed meeting me lol. I didn't have his number saved so I don't know what he's talking about but he's shot himself in the foot here!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 28 April 2014, 06:06:01 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 28 April 2014, 05:28:10 pm
Text comes through.......

Him: Hi K, I seen u a few months ago but ballsed up etc. sorry. Am in glasgow tom could u recommend anyone or company ?

Me: What?

Him: I seen u a few months ago. I'm in glasgow tom and wondered if u knew anyone I could see?

Me: I think you need to not text me, I am not an escort guide.....that's what adultwork for.

I always get annoyed when guys phone asking for a booking and when I say I am not available they ask if I have any friends they could see but this is a new one where the guy contacts me (an independent escort) to see who else he could see?? I wonder what goes through some of their heads, seriously!
I bloody hate that too, had a guy call me on Sunday asking if anyone that looks like me is available on Sundays in my area! I don't effin know! Am I a comparison website? I sometimes wonder x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosa on 28 April 2014, 08:21:17 pm
How are you supposed to pass someone on who "ballsed up"?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 28 April 2014, 11:27:56 pm
I know lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 28 April 2014, 11:43:16 pm
Exactly if you thought he was a tit when you met him you are hardly going to send him to someone else.
Yes I find this really cheeky not my place to find other girls for someone.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 29 April 2014, 08:24:15 am
Ok so I am quite annoyed at myself for biting here, 9 times out of 10 I do ignore and block but this morning I sent a guy a bit of abuse for being a thoughtless, ignorant arsehole.

Missed calls after 2am this morning followed by a text saying........

Hi K I tried calling but no answer (no shit Sherlock) I have just arrived in Glasgow and can't sleep and you look gorgeous, can you meet in 20 mins?

Oh yeah cause I sit around in my underwear 24/7 waiting on total fucking bellends like you!!!!!!

I must have woke up on the wrong side of the bed his morning cause that really annoyed me. I often get missed calls through the nite (all idiots and I always block) but it's rare I get a follow up text so I couldn't help myself but to reply this morning.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 29 April 2014, 08:52:51 am
Well this nutter has threatened me with a knife and has threatened to ruin my entire worthless whoring life (his words) he said he will make it his project.

My own fault for snapping at him but it just goes to show what some of these nutters are like.

Who threatens to ruin someone's life and threaten them with a knife just because a girl called them an arsehole?? Unbelievable!!

Says I have no idea who I am dealing with (big time gangsta) and that he owns more businesses than my IQ could count.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 29 April 2014, 09:51:59 am
I know it's tempting to bite and tell these type of guys what pricks they are but we need to be careful, I snapped at someone last year and he told me he was gonna somehow get a booking and rape me, I had non stop texts all evening threatening me,
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 29 April 2014, 09:58:10 am
I know Nia, it's true.... We do have to be careful but this morning I couldn't help myself, just my luck that I choose to bite on such a vile creature!

I had someone who I didn't bite back at though, just wouldn't answer his calls because I had over 20 missed calls from him in the space of an hour when I was with a client so when he eventually got me, a I said was that all his calls are unsettling so I won't be meeting him, he kept asking for my address and I told him he wasn't getting it so I hung up, he then told me that he will get a booking from me using another number and by the time he's finished with me, I will need a top surgeon to put me right  :(

And some guys wonder why we're so choosy and selective about who we meet, if only they could live a day in our shoes to see the other side of escorting, the not so nice side.

Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 29 April 2014, 10:24:49 am
I'm the same , if I get a ridiculous amount of missed calls that is a no no for me straight away x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 29 April 2014, 12:54:56 pm
Just got an call from a guy who said hes into wrestling  ???
wtf, he wants to fight with an escort? This one is new  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 29 April 2014, 12:57:36 pm
I actually have a weekly client, half hour of wrestling! It's easy peasy , could be same guy? Is he called Richard ? Don't know what area you're in?
He always lets me win and at the end wanks himself off , at first thought it was a strange request but had a few wrestling enquiries x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 29 April 2014, 01:01:47 pm
He didnt said his name, just that he will be in Bristol early evening..
I refused him anyway, I dont want to fight :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 29 April 2014, 01:02:46 pm
Can't be same guy as I'm in Essex , x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 29 April 2014, 01:04:53 pm
I love it now, makes a change and it's not really fighting, I stand on him, strangle him with my legs etc, no punching or kicking, but suppose if you're not comfortable doing it then don't, x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 29 April 2014, 01:06:03 pm
If I knew that guy, maybe I would try, but not with a complete stranger  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 29 April 2014, 01:15:14 pm
Yes true, I was lucky my guy is very placid x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 29 April 2014, 06:43:49 pm
This text came out of the blue.

"Hi any chance of a quickie some time? I would like you to be my oral sex toy, and I may reward you with use of my cock obviously I'll use your mouth again to remind you of your purpose."

How can a girl refuse! I told him that I no longer provide a submissive service. He got a bit knarked haha.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 30 April 2014, 01:07:59 am
him texting me: I bet u wanna ride my cock now

me: Of course, just let me know when you can pay for a booking

looser  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 30 April 2014, 02:00:10 pm
Quote from: hotblondie28 on 30 April 2014, 01:07:59 am
him texting me: I bet u wanna ride my cock now

me: Of course, just let me know when you can pay for a booking

looser  ;D

Ha. If I get ones like that, I text back 'Who is this, and why are you texting my husband?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 30 April 2014, 05:08:13 pm
"What's your availability like for next week? It would have to be after midnight. I'm married, hope that's ok?"

Oooooooooh, just how much do I want to give this guy GFE while his wife is sleeping in the house? And at silly o' clock? Jackpot!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ScarletWoman on 02 May 2014, 09:03:17 pm
#1 I see you do half an hour for 70, would you do 15 mins for 35?
No
#2 ok, well can I ask, have you ever or would you ever change payment because you enjoyed yourself so much and wanted to keep their custom?
No
#3 ok, how much would it be for two girls for half an hour?
<block >
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 02 May 2014, 11:35:52 pm
Hahahahaha  ;D x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 03 May 2014, 10:07:42 am
Texter: Hello their xxx

Me: Sorry my name is not Their, you must have wrong number

Texter: Come on sexy

Me: Excuse me? I Don't who you think your talking to but it sure as hell ain't me

Texter: Lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 03 May 2014, 01:15:59 pm
I blocked two guys yesterday based purely on their usernames. It may be picky but do I really wanna meet someone who wants to be named donkeypunch or bigveinycock! blech

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 03 May 2014, 01:33:32 pm
I thought I was the only one who blocked guys based on their usernames, glad it ain't just me.

I had a client email me last week from England I think who was going to be in Glasgow this week on business who wrote a polite enough email but he asked me for an outcall (which I don't do) to a hotel in town, wanted to meet in a bar (which I'd never, ever do as discretion is very important to me, this is my home town and I don't want to be seen out with clients) who asked me to wear leather blah blah blah (when I've made it clear that I don't take clothing requests, I always look the part and make an effort but I won't have someone tell me what to wear, if your not comfortable in what your wearing then it will only show in your service especially leather in public looking like a cheap happy hooker) and this guy just so happened to have a crude, off putting username.

My response to him was that I don't meet with anyone who doesn't read my profile. By reading his email, it's clear that we're incompatible and his username alone tells me that then I blocked him. Username was Cheshire Fuck!

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 03 May 2014, 02:24:29 pm
^Cheshire? Oh goody, he's from my neck of the woods. Will keep an eye out for that one.  ;D

If anyone has a crude or disrespectful username, it's a no. How difficult is it to be like johnsmith28361 or MrBrownEyes or something. Not, like, pussybasher or milffucker or wannalickyourfilthyass or whatever. I do not want to do BUSINESS (we are running businesses not getting our jollies) with that kind of guy.

Someone contacted me with serial killer's name once. I was like "really? really? that's the impression you want to give when approaching sex workers, members of society frequently targeted by serial killers because they're seen as disposable?" He said it was a joke. "Hilarious." *Block*.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 05 May 2014, 01:46:10 pm
"Hi. I am looking for a regular discreet meeting. I could book a hotel near you and I can pick you up and return you afterwards.
I can offer ?180 for an 90 mins incl BB on a private arrangement.
If you are interested can you leave a contact number?
Thanks"

::) at 'private arrangement'.. I reminded him I am a prossy and it is business. Getting in cars with strangers and doing BB.. I'll pass ;D Even says on my profile I drive and have own car.
I never believe this 'regular arrangement' thing, all my actual regulars set out looking for a one time punt and if they liked me, kept booking. Whenever someone says it now before we've even met I think '.. yeah right!'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 06 May 2014, 06:51:04 am
It's annoying how you can't copy and paste adult work emails on an iPhone.

Anyway I just had a guy email me saying he's hosting a 10 man gang bank and he wants me to be the star (his words) and he's offering me ?350 for a 2 hour session.

I won't go into my usual rant about how some of these morons don't bother to read my profile but I seriously couldn't think of anything worse than being fucked by 10 guys for 2 hours  :(

And not to mention the fact that I make between ?2000-?2600 for meeting with 10 guys for 2 hours each.

You couldn't offer me 10 grand for 2 hours worth of getting fucked off 10 guys, personally I'd feel absolutely horrendous but each to their own.

Guy has no feedback, goes on about how genuine he is blah blah blah!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 06 May 2014, 06:56:00 am
Plus with him wanting to pimp me out for a couple of hours to a line up of horny men, is that not a big bit illegal??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 06 May 2014, 07:19:33 am
Caller asks *postcode *?
not hi or id like to see you today !
just hung up on him added to block list



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 06 May 2014, 11:50:06 am
When a client makes a booking then texts 2 minutes later about if he can have fun in the shower with me but putting it bluntly not nice words. Then what am I wearing  in the next text 2 minutes later after ignoring.  I am happy he showed  before allowing him any where near me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 06 May 2014, 05:03:21 pm
I've had a text that simply said "working?" , how very rude! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 08 May 2014, 09:21:27 am
Got a text message at midnight from a number I had blocked for phoning me during the nite previously saying.......

U dane

Which in Glaswegian chav 15 year old language means.....what are you doing?

The sooner I get all these blocked numbers transferred into my iPhone, the better!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 08 May 2014, 10:48:41 pm
Ok, this one just made me cackle out loud....

'I am very serious about this miss please do not right it off alltogether right away as i have done this type of thing before and it is such a mind blowing session for me ...

I want for someone to park there car on my hand this someone been you of course this time for the session and sit inside the car playing loud music ( this is important to me because it cuts off all contact with you in control of the car and increase the risk of me getting in contact with you to ask you to move .. I would like to then be ignored with the car parked ontop music playing loud .. even lock the doors if possible and forget about me there ? Basically i am asking for you to just party inside the car and relax while i am underneath it ( hands )
This would be amazing if you would consider this miss i really would love to do this and will pay the price .. I am a little nervous doing this as a first timer and would prefer minimum contact during the session considering the requirements .
Is this something you may be ok to do with me please let me know thank you . : )'

*more cackling*

maybe worth learning to drive after all
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 08 May 2014, 11:44:47 pm
Wow lol, just when you think you've heard it all x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 09 May 2014, 08:21:09 am
Guy phones me there.....

Me: Hello
Him: When suits you (not even a hello)
Me: What?
Him: When suits you

I paused for a bit cause as my profile says I don't start till 3 today because I have other things to do this morning but it's no big deal that he missed my start time today, it's easy done.

Then he says is this Jessica?

I said no it's not and hung up! Talk about not knowing what day of the week it is and having a terrible phone manner, who phones someone for such an intimate service and doesn't even say hello?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 09 May 2014, 02:19:58 pm
mail on aw

Quote
Hi how are you? First off wow you look hot in your pics,
You got a great body. I work in Bristol from time to
Time and would love a bit of fun. It's far enough from
My house to be safe lol. I only really know m32 into cabots
And over by st.phillips marsh. Can you tell me where about
You are compared to these places? Don't need house number
Or even street, just postcode near so can google it.
Also if I did meet you, would be from work, could I shower
Before appointment and after?
Thanks

me amazed again:

Quote
Hi, all the informations you asked for are on my profile :)
Please read it then decide if and when you want to meet me :)

Thank you for your compliments, have a nice weekend xxx

 :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AnnaBBW on 09 May 2014, 02:35:16 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 08 May 2014, 09:21:27 am
Got a text message at midnight from a number I had blocked for phoning me during the nite previously saying.......

U dane

Which in Glaswegian chav 15 year old language means.....what are you doing?

The sooner I get all these blocked numbers transferred into my iPhone, the better!

Gadz!  I can just picture him in a trackie and skip hat  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 09 May 2014, 02:51:51 pm
Quote from: sweet jane on 08 May 2014, 10:48:41 pm
Ok, this one just made me cackle out loud....

'I am very serious about this miss please do not right it off alltogether right away as i have done this type of thing before and it is such a mind blowing session for me ...

I want for someone to park there car on my hand this someone been you of course this time for the session and sit inside the car playing loud music ( this is important to me because it cuts off all contact with you in control of the car and increase the risk of me getting in contact with you to ask you to move .. I would like to then be ignored with the car parked ontop music playing loud .. even lock the doors if possible and forget about me there ? Basically i am asking for you to just party inside the car and relax while i am underneath it ( hands )
This would be amazing if you would consider this miss i really would love to do this and will pay the price .. I am a little nervous doing this as a first timer and would prefer minimum contact during the session considering the requirements .
Is this something you may be ok to do with me please let me know thank you . : )'

*more cackling*

maybe worth learning to drive after all

Jesus Christ! That can't be a fetish? I agree, just when you thought you'd heard it all! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 09 May 2014, 03:50:51 pm
Quote from: AnnaBBW on 09 May 2014, 02:35:16 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 08 May 2014, 09:21:27 am
Got a text message at midnight from a number I had blocked for phoning me during the nite previously saying.......

U dane

Which in Glaswegian chav 15 year old language means.....what are you doing?

The sooner I get all these blocked numbers transferred into my iPhone, the better!

Gadz!  I can just picture him in a trackie and skip hat  ::)

I know who speaks like that? Lol! And with your Gadz word, I take it your from Ayrshire or something lol  ;D xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: vixen viki on 09 May 2014, 04:49:32 pm
Had a nice message earlier asking for an outcall to a central hotel etc etc...all seemed normal and actually quite thoughtful until I reached the last bit of the message where the guy thought he should "just warn" me that he has been arrested for harassing and assaulting an escort in the past, but he's changed now.

errr..what?! just no.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 09 May 2014, 05:07:11 pm
OMG?? Wow lol, crazy and you totally dodged a bullet there. How awkward and intimidating would it have been if he'd told you that in person??  :o xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: vixen viki on 09 May 2014, 08:23:39 pm
Yeah, I have no idea why you would put that in a message if you seriously wanted a booking, but thank God he did because I would have actually gone to meet him since he seemed so polite and genuine   ::)

just had another, phone call this time:

idiot: whats your address?
annoyed me: I only do outcalls, go and read my profile
idiot (in a ridiculously whiny voice): oh come on babe, you can trust me. let me come to yours

needless to say..I hung up
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kinkyboots on 09 May 2014, 08:32:50 pm

Him: "Can you hear me?"
Me: "Yes i can hear you, how can i help you?"
Him: "What's your address?"
Me: "My address? I don't give that out without a booking being confirmed. Did you want a booking?"
Him: "How much is half an hour"
Me: "all my fee's are stated on my profile"
Him: "Ok but how much for half an hour without having to look?"

... Prat  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 10 May 2014, 01:02:15 am
This guy calls up and tells me that he had an appointment booked with me for half 12 and he was just calling now to confirm the appointment . This was at 12.20.
I tell him that's impossible as I wouldn't agree to an app at that time as I'm working from a hotel and check in is at 2. He says that he is in town now so what is he supposed to do. I tell him I think hes made a mistake as I've never spoken to him before and hurry him off the phone.

As I'm saving this guys number another number calls me and it's the same guy calling from a different number and I have the same conversation all over again! Then texts saying he's outside the hotel hes gonna wait for me to arrive so he can see me for the first appointment.

I decided as I had no appointments booked to forget that noise and hang out with my sister instead. I had a great day instead.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Missdanni on 10 May 2014, 07:56:25 am
Received this text yesterday afternoon with blurry pic of a topless older man attached:



 Hi I'm Colin mature male looking to get into escorting would you take me on part time I don't want any money so any money you made extra you can keep just want experience thanks Colin


 ::) no, just no.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 10 May 2014, 10:15:19 am
I woke up to a text this morning sent just after 8am saying......

Irish guy over for the day, just trying to find out of your closed

 ::)  ::)  ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 10 May 2014, 10:18:22 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 09 May 2014, 03:50:51 pm

I know who speaks like that? Lol! And with your Gadz word, I take it your from Ayrshire or something lol  ;D xx

Now now we don't all speak like that in Ayrshire, that would be Gadz  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 11 May 2014, 06:01:17 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 29 April 2014, 08:24:15 am
Ok so I am quite annoyed at myself for biting here, 9 times out of 10 I do ignore and block but this morning I sent a guy a bit of abuse for being a thoughtless, ignorant arsehole.

Missed calls after 2am this morning followed by a text saying........

Hi K I tried calling but no answer (no shit Sherlock) I have just arrived in Glasgow and can't sleep and you look gorgeous, can you meet in 20 mins?

Oh yeah cause I sit around in my underwear 24/7 waiting on total fucking bellends like you!!!!!!

I must have woke up on the wrong side of the bed his morning cause that really annoyed me. I often get missed calls through the nite (all idiots and I always block) but it's rare I get a follow up text so I couldn't help myself but to reply this morning.
Hey PP, as I've said before I think exactly the same as you and we seem to work very similar. I had another look at your profile and although you state your working hours on a different tab, you don't make it clear that you never accept calls at stupid o'clock in the night/morning. I make this really clear on my profile saying I don't take bookings at unsociable hours, and as I said before also have a voicemail saying this, it really does seem to bring the unwanted idiots down, so you might find it helpful :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 11 May 2014, 11:07:38 am
Quote from: MissKylie on 11 May 2014, 06:01:17 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 29 April 2014, 08:24:15 am
Ok so I am quite annoyed at myself for biting here, 9 times out of 10 I do ignore and block but this morning I sent a guy a bit of abuse for being a thoughtless, ignorant arsehole.

Missed calls after 2am this morning followed by a text saying........

Hi K I tried calling but no answer (no shit Sherlock) I have just arrived in Glasgow and can't sleep and you look gorgeous, can you meet in 20 mins?

Oh yeah cause I sit around in my underwear 24/7 waiting on total fucking bellends like you!!!!!!

I must have woke up on the wrong side of the bed his morning cause that really annoyed me. I often get missed calls through the nite (all idiots and I always block) but it's rare I get a follow up text so I couldn't help myself but to reply this morning.
Hey PP, as I've said before I think exactly the same as you and we seem to work very similar. I had another look at your profile and although you state your working hours on a different tab, you don't make it clear that you never accept calls at stupid o'clock in the night/morning. I make this really clear on my profile saying I don't take bookings at unsociable hours, and as I said before also have a voicemail saying this, it really does seem to bring the unwanted idiots down, so you might find it helpful :)

Hey hunni

I do have it stated on my profile not to phone me between the hours of 11pm and 8am. It's on my front page xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 11 May 2014, 11:09:00 am
But I will put it in my availability tab aswell cause if you missed it then I guess clients will miss it too. Still don't think it will make a blind but if difference cause if they read my working hours then why on earth would they phone me at 5am etc? X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 11 May 2014, 05:36:36 pm
Had an enquiry about tonight and we had arranged a time and a place, no problem. Then the questions started: how big ur boobs, what sexy outfits u got, do u have short skirt and a basque.
Then "Ok a tight top and no bra with a short skirt want u to wear that wen u arrive at reception xx will leave key at reception for u xx"

My patience ran out, there's a topless pic on my profile as well as my cup size, I always wear nice lingerie under casual clothes and there is a 0% chance I'm going to a hotel reception to pick up keys dressed as a cheap hooker with next to nothing on. Told him he'd be best off booking someone else. :FF
Even says on my profile I'm not a wannabe glamour model/porn star, just a girl-next-door type. This kind of thing reminds me why I am cautious with younger men. Some are my favourite clients, others treat me like a piece of meat.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 11 May 2014, 05:59:32 pm
So I politely explained that I don't think I am the right escort for him, that he's looking for someone I'm not. And he replied 'Ok how bout a white blouse no bra or panties is that ok xx'

I explained again that I am not right for this booking. Hopefully he will understand as I was not rude about it. I am open to catering to clothing requests like wearing hold ups, knickers instead of thongs, etc. But not turning up in a blouse and no underwear :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 11 May 2014, 11:53:05 pm
Why would you pick up a key when u could knock on the room door?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 12 May 2014, 01:35:21 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 11 May 2014, 11:09:00 am
But I will put it in my availability tab aswell cause if you missed it then I guess clients will miss it too. Still don't think it will make a blind but if difference cause if they read my working hours then why on earth would they phone me at 5am etc? X
I have to agree, it does not make a blind bit of difference. On every single advert I have and on my website, at the top of it it says phone between 10am and 9pm and that texts and with held numbers will be ignored. Does it stop people ringing texting and using withheld numbers at silly o'clock? Nope because guys like this are only interested in getting a shag asap and are ringing half a dozen other girls while they are at it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosa on 12 May 2014, 02:13:36 pm
Quote from: bibi on 12 May 2014, 01:35:21 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 11 May 2014, 11:09:00 am
But I will put it in my availability tab aswell cause if you missed it then I guess clients will miss it too. Still don't think it will make a blind but if difference cause if they read my working hours then why on earth would they phone me at 5am etc? X
I have to agree, it does not make a blind bit of difference. On every single advert I have and on my website, at the top of it it says phone between 10am and 9pm and that texts and with held numbers will be ignored. Does it stop people ringing texting and using withheld numbers at silly o'clock? Nope because guys like this are only interested in getting a shag asap and are ringing half a dozen other girls while they are at it.

My voicemail clearly states I don't accept calls between certain hours and to phone back after a certain time time in the morning. Guys still leave messages at 2am saying "I'm in such a hotel, horny want to fuck now you get back to me".

All you can do is say when you'll answer the phone and stick to it. You can't force people to read, take it in and adhere. There'll always be one.

Best I've had is middle of the night woke up, looked at phone which was on silent. Text message asking will I go to such a place 1 hour drive away? "I'll pay good money", so I then give my rate for that location plus ?50 out of hours fee which is all on my website". Response was "Oh can't get that much out today". Never mind.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 12 May 2014, 04:28:05 pm
I wouldn't bother with a voicemail saying phone back at an appropriate hour as I don't want them to phone back ever, I save the numbers of the idiots that phone me through the nite and block their number x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 12 May 2014, 04:34:56 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 12 May 2014, 04:28:05 pm
I wouldn't bother with a voicemail saying phone back at an appropriate hour as I don't want them to phone back ever, I save the numbers of the idiots that phone me through the nite and block their number x
I do exactly the same as Rosa. Why wouldn't you want them to phone back at a more appropriate time? Plus a personal voicemail can sound quite professional and I much prefer for people to leave me a voicemail so if I miss their call I know they want me to get back to them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 12 May 2014, 07:11:55 pm
Another man in his 20s today

'Hello,
Please do not instantly assume I am lacking a few brain cells, I have well read your profile, just I imagine for similar reasons to yourself I cannot "host" guests. Or at the very least, when I do have a free house it is on remarkably short notice.
And again for similar reasons to yourself a car meet is not ideal! (For one I'm like 6'1, and my car isn't very big!).

Regardless, are there ANY instances when you would be available for an incall? I complete understand if it's a no, and don't assume I think myself "special", just it makes things quite a bit easier. I live in [location] so wouldn't be far for me to travel and I could do it on reasonably short notice.

Again no offense is meant to be given!
In the event of a no, I assume you have no problems visiting hotels?

P.S, I don't know if this has ANY impact, but I'm in my twenties also, so not some creepy old guy. Just a saucy young one!
Cheers'

What a long winded way to say 'treat me differently to your other clients' :FF I resent him implying my clients are creepy or old when actually the middle aged men are nicest, most respectful and easy to get along with.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 12 May 2014, 07:13:25 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 12 May 2014, 04:28:05 pm
I wouldn't bother with a voicemail saying phone back at an appropriate hour as I don't want them to phone back ever, I save the numbers of the idiots that phone me through the nite and block their number x

I got rid of my voicemail after one to many "Call me back you have my number" type messages.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 12 May 2014, 07:29:01 pm
hey!

we're 3 italian guys (29yo) and we live in leicester. you definitely look gorgeous but i promise we're pretty beautiful too ;) i'm pretty sure you willbe delighted to spend a nigh with us...so....does the price go down a bit?? 50 maybe? xxx

I just replied with no thanks...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 12 May 2014, 07:34:14 pm
13 missed calls during an hours booking! I text back call me in 20 minutes I'm jumping in the shower, he then proceeded to give me 9 more missed calls in 10 minutes! He left a voicemail saying " I'd like a booking please"

Don't think so darling!




Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 12 May 2014, 08:23:34 pm
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 12 May 2014, 07:13:25 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 12 May 2014, 04:28:05 pm
I wouldn't bother with a voicemail saying phone back at an appropriate hour as I don't want them to phone back ever, I save the numbers of the idiots that phone me through the nite and block their number x

I got rid of my voicemail after one to many "Call me back you have my number" type messages.

I switched my voicemail off when I kept getting guys wanking into my answering machine. Had a guy phone me up wanking yesterday morning actually, totally put me off my breakfast x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 12 May 2014, 08:24:29 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 12 May 2014, 07:34:14 pm
13 missed calls during an hours booking! I text back call me in 20 minutes I'm jumping in the shower, he then proceeded to give me 9 more missed calls in 10 minutes! He left a voicemail saying " I'd like a booking please"

Don't think so darling!

Anymore than 3 missed calls and I don't reply to them at all x

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 12 May 2014, 08:35:13 pm
You're right pp, don't know why I text! Imagine someone like that knowing your address! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 12 May 2014, 08:44:33 pm
It's not normal to harass someone with calls unless of an emergency and this isn't exactly an emergency.

If you went on a nite out and met a guy and woke up next day to all sorts of calls, you'd think stalking nutter and never see the guy again so I don't see how this is any different.

If we don't answer then surely they must realise we're busy?? I am sure they wouldn't like it if we were with them and answering our phones every 2 minutes. I think to phone back once or twice maximum after the first call is enough, I will always get back to someone unless I have them blocked on my phone.

It's not in our best interests not to answer the phone unless busy or avoiding someone so if they can't wait for me to get back to them after my client leaves then they aren't the right client for me.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 14 May 2014, 02:43:36 pm
Dear Miss ,
I am ben from glasgow . i like to be of service to you as I honestly beleive princess like you shouldn't be wasting time doing mundane jobs like washing ,cleaning, iorning , cooking etc and should leave that to guys like me. I require minimal supervison and you can expect a quality better than that of any professional domestic workers as i will be doing it with passion and also striving hard to please you. There won't be any disturbance or interaction while I work and you can carry on with your stuff.

You might be wondering why would I want to do this. I certainly do have benfeits as this would give me something to do during my free time and satisfaction of being useful rather than playing computer games all the time. I reckon this might develop my social skills and develop confidence and also improves my ability to hold conversation as I am very nervous and pathetic in the presence of any new girl. Also there is a chance that you might introduce my service to your friends and that could lead to a potentailly paid partime job for me.

I am avilable anytime during weekends and during the week I am avilable from 4.30 pm till late . Hope you will consider my application and will give me a try. Thanks

ben

p.s

If you travel and rgularly use taxis, I can be your personal chauffer as I have a car with valid and clean driving licence.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 14 May 2014, 03:02:29 pm
I think poor Ben may actually be sincere in his intentions.

The poor clueless bastard.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 14 May 2014, 03:51:42 pm
Quote
It's not normal to harass someone with calls unless of an emergency and this isn't exactly an emergency.

Duh! it's a cock emergancy PP  ;D

I felt sorry for Ben. He's totally barking up the wrong tree.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 14 May 2014, 05:00:15 pm
Funny because I have actually text someone who's harassed me with calls while with a client saying that clearly they have some sort of cock emergency that can't wait and unfortunately for him, I don't take booking without prior notice of some sort. They never respond x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Freya on 14 May 2014, 10:52:36 pm
I thought Ben sounded sincere too. Aw! He seems to have really put some thought into this, can't somebody offer him an apprenticeship, or at least give him a trial on his ironing abilities? Wonder if he'd be prepared to walk the dog?.....hmmmm. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 14 May 2014, 11:11:54 pm
Poor Ben the fact that he thinks he would get paid is hilarious.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 15 May 2014, 12:15:35 am
I think Ben hopes to get paid as a maid or something. Like, there's nothing in his entire message that even indicates he's talking to a prostitute. Maybe he has this vague idea that prossies will be nice to people that ordinary people won't. Whatever it is, I do feel sorry for him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 15 May 2014, 02:53:37 pm
Oh dear Lord... I just got some very jaunty texts from someone who sounded as if he'd seen me before. Very presumptuous in terms of "I'm in your neighbourhood I think... be good to catch up..." and then asking what my address was. I was confused and asked to speak and then a weird conversation with a  happy and lovely-sounding guy wherein we discussed my location. And he sounded sort of confused about something so I thought that perhaps he was confusing me with another WG so I said "Um, have you been corresponding with other girls perhaps and have gotten confused?" and he sounded really stumped by this. "No.... not today?" Then I said "Have we met before?" and then he started to laugh wildly. "OH MY GOD THIS IS YOUR FRIEND COLIN! YOUR FORMER DRUM TEACHER! YOU THOUGHT I WAS A PUNTER!!! BWAHAHA!"

Silly twat had changed his phone number.  ;D

And this is what I get for not having a separate work phone.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 15 May 2014, 03:22:31 pm
Quote from: KimberlyC on 15 May 2014, 02:53:37 pm
Oh dear Lord... I just got some very jaunty texts from someone who sounded as if he'd seen me before. Very presumptuous in terms of "I'm in your neighbourhood I think... be good to catch up..." and then asking what my address was. I was confused and asked to speak and then a weird conversation with a  happy and lovely-sounding guy wherein we discussed my location. And he sounded sort of confused about something so I thought that perhaps he was confusing me with another WG so I said "Um, have you been corresponding with other girls perhaps and have gotten confused?" and he sounded really stumped by this. "No.... not today?" Then I said "Have we met before?" and then he started to laugh wildly. "OH MY GOD THIS IS YOUR FRIEND COLIN! YOUR FORMER DRUM TEACHER! YOU THOUGHT I WAS A PUNTER!!! BWAHAHA!"

Silly twat had changed his phone number.  ;D

And this is what I get for not having a separate work phone.

Oh my god how embarrassing  ;D It couldve been worse couldve been someone who didn't know you do this or a family member.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 15 May 2014, 11:15:05 pm
Quote from: KimberlyC on 15 May 2014, 02:53:37 pm
Oh dear Lord... I just got some very jaunty texts from someone who sounded as if he'd seen me before. Very presumptuous in terms of "I'm in your neighbourhood I think... be good to catch up..." and then asking what my address was. I was confused and asked to speak and then a weird conversation with a  happy and lovely-sounding guy wherein we discussed my location. And he sounded sort of confused about something so I thought that perhaps he was confusing me with another WG so I said "Um, have you been corresponding with other girls perhaps and have gotten confused?" and he sounded really stumped by this. "No.... not today?" Then I said "Have we met before?" and then he started to laugh wildly. "OH MY GOD THIS IS YOUR FRIEND COLIN! YOUR FORMER DRUM TEACHER! YOU THOUGHT I WAS A PUNTER!!! BWAHAHA!"

Silly twat had changed his phone number.  ;D

And this is what I get for not having a separate work phone.

Whaaaaaaaat?  :o

You don't have a separate work phone? I take it your family and friends know what you do then?

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 16 May 2014, 07:22:46 am
Ben might've sounded sincere, but here's a reason he's chosen to trawl a sex worker site for a "job" rather than gumtree, etc. He's up there with photographers who offer to help out with private galleries, and gardeners/plumbers/whatever who offer to do favours.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 16 May 2014, 07:05:52 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 15 May 2014, 11:15:05 pm
Quote from: KimberlyC on 15 May 2014, 02:53:37 pm
Oh dear Lord... I just got some very jaunty texts from someone who sounded as if he'd seen me before. Very presumptuous in terms of "I'm in your neighbourhood I think... be good to catch up..." and then asking what my address was. I was confused and asked to speak and then a weird conversation with a  happy and lovely-sounding guy wherein we discussed my location. And he sounded sort of confused about something so I thought that perhaps he was confusing me with another WG so I said "Um, have you been corresponding with other girls perhaps and have gotten confused?" and he sounded really stumped by this. "No.... not today?" Then I said "Have we met before?" and then he started to laugh wildly. "OH MY GOD THIS IS YOUR FRIEND COLIN! YOUR FORMER DRUM TEACHER! YOU THOUGHT I WAS A PUNTER!!! BWAHAHA!"

Silly twat had changed his phone number.  ;D

And this is what I get for not having a separate work phone.

Whaaaaaaaat?  :o

You don't have a separate work phone? I take it your family and friends know what you do then?

xx

My friends do, yes. I have a separate old phone that has an old number on it for (certain) family members and my children's school to call me on. It just sits there in case of emergencies. But I use my work phone for my socialising phone, too.

i think maybe it would be better to have them separate if I want to just leave the phone off and take a day truly off. But I will just ignore calls if I don't feel like answering and I often don't mind answering on my days off because they're often calling about a future booking or will call at another time if they think I sound nice.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AnnaBBW on 16 May 2014, 07:16:51 pm
Quote from: AliceRed on 16 May 2014, 07:22:46 am
Ben might've sounded sincere, but here's a reason he's chosen to trawl a sex worker site for a "job" rather than gumtree, etc. He's up there with photographers who offer to help out with private galleries, and gardeners/plumbers/whatever who offer to do  ;Dfavours.  ::)

Yip, I received the same message copy and pasted.  Chancer
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Working girl on 16 May 2014, 07:44:57 pm
Text received today

'Hey would love to pound your holes. Are you available?
'not for a pounding but thanks anyway'
'bugger ...ruined it have i?
'Yep lol'


Not sure why I even responded to be honest!

 ??? ??? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosa on 16 May 2014, 09:29:50 pm
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 14 May 2014, 11:11:54 pm
Poor Ben the fact that he thinks he would get paid is hilarious.

Ben around the place means no clients = we don't get paid plus the effort of having to watch him to make sure he doesn't run off with your valuables. If I want a cleaner I'll hire someone who works for a reputable firm,

I always found it interesting that the men offering their services, for free or even wanting you to pay them were also only available at times to suit them, which tend to be the times when you are most likely to be seeing clients.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 16 May 2014, 09:34:19 pm
So the guy I posted about in bile figured I blocked him, sent a text from a different number, asking can he please see me he wont mess up again etcetc blah....sent at 1am?  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saturnspirit on 18 May 2014, 11:45:52 am
Had a guy asking if I could cater for an unusual fetish (alarm bells ringing timewaster!)

So i asked what it was. Can he bring a box full of live insects and bugs to my incall place and i step on them and kill them with my heels as he wanks!

I just hung up! I would imagine it's a definite windup or who knows maybe there are some sick people into bug crushing?

Imagine sitting at your hotel and this guy letting loose all these insects and bugs in your room!

Very weird!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 18 May 2014, 07:59:47 pm
OMG not only would I be absolutely terrified as all bugs scare the shit out of me, it's cause they are creepy and horrid to look at so they make my skin crawl but I'd never condone any kind of cruelty to insects or animals or humans for that matter. Sick bastard.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 18 May 2014, 10:48:13 pm
Guy phones there.....

Him: What street are you on?

Me: I don't give spacific information like that out unless someone has booked me, sorry but I am city centre.

Him: Aw rite, much do you charge for a shag?

Phone down! It's one thing not reading my profile but another speaking like a wee fanny!!!! No thanks sunshine!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 18 May 2014, 10:54:42 pm
Oh and just received a text saying go fuck yourself!!

Nice, I responded by saying......I will thanks!

 ::)  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kizz on 19 May 2014, 06:39:40 pm
just had an email - thought I'd share  ::)
Title - 'Meet up for sex'
I was tempted to reply 'No, meet up for tea and cake though'

Would you fulfil a fantasy and let me fuck you after you'd fainted?   :-\

Didn't bother asking how I was to faint.  No doubt at the sight of his monster member or something similar.

Honestly, some days it aint worth getting out of bed - and this is one of them! 

is it the weather that's bringing these specimens out in droves?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 19 May 2014, 08:51:33 pm
I had the joy of this text interaction yesterday (he'd been in touch a couple of times before):

Idiot: Fancy a hard cock up your bum
Me: I've told you before that I don't offer anal
Idiot: Why not
Me: Because I choose to not offer anal
Idiot: I will meat you at the [local] pub in 40 mins
[I didn't reply and then 10 mins later]:
Idiot: Can you pick me up
Me: No, we haven't arranged a booking and I don't meet in random pubs
Idiot: 11pm outside [local] pub
Me: No
Idiot: Why
Me: You clearly don't understand how to make a booking with an escort and are just wasting my time so I won't be replying to any more of your texts
Idiot [just before I could get his number blocked in my phone]: Do not be silly i have got a cock to die for

Well, at least he gave me a laugh before he was blocked forever  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 20 May 2014, 09:33:08 pm
Quote from: saturnspirit on 18 May 2014, 11:45:52 am
Had a guy asking if I could cater for an unusual fetish (alarm bells ringing timewaster!)

So i asked what it was. Can he bring a box full of live insects and bugs to my incall place and i step on them and kill them with my heels as he wanks!


Yep, crushing bugs & other animals is a big big fetish. Huge. But completely illegal to entertain.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 21 May 2014, 05:16:18 pm
Just had this rude cheapskate texting me.

Yesterday I got this:

Cheapskate: Hey I'm Al I'm in [local area]. Wondered if you'd do me an outcall tonight for 30 mins. Would like a reg. once a week meet ultimately. Thanks :-) [already ringing alarm bells with the 'wannabe regular' act]
Me: [my rate and what I need to know to visit him]
Cheapskate: OK thanks for the reply. I can't really afford that ATM, think I'll leave it. I'm sure its worth it, and when I'm flush in a month I'll call.. ta

And then today:

CS: Hello its al in [local area], raised a few more funds :-) wondered if you could spare me an hour tonight for 75? Or 45 mins, anytime really this eve. Thanks! 
Me: Well my 30 min rate is ?90 so not doing an hour or 45 mins for ?75, sorry x
CS: Ill go back to [local parlour] then for someone fitter, a sauna and jacuzzi and massage and sex for 50.. so long

I'm not really sure why he was bugging an independent girl when he clearly prefers the parlour's services  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 22 May 2014, 11:57:46 am
I dont think is that cheap in a parlour  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MM3 on 22 May 2014, 01:28:34 pm
So this guy rings me to book  an  outcall and goes on about how safe he is and how nice and safe the location is and that there even is  concierge service  (that would only be a put off in my thinking ). So I ask him  for a land line number- he doesn't have it as  ''threre's  no need for it''.  Later   via text messages he sends me a link to a website featuring a property in question with comment ''hope this picture helps''  ;D
I ask him  for his  full name- no answer.
I mean, they must think that hookers are as thick as pig shit. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 22 May 2014, 02:03:41 pm
I just received a message on AW, "free today." Another case of someone not bothering to read my profile. Couldn't even be bothered to answer. His feedback wasn't up to much anyway!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 22 May 2014, 03:23:03 pm
Quote from: hotblondie28 on 29 April 2014, 12:54:56 pm
Just got an call from a guy who said hes into wrestling  ???
wtf, he wants to fight with an escort? This one is new  ;D

Send him to me ...I love overpowering/pinning down men :)

He needs a Dominant woman.

Wrestling quite popular in BDSM scene.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 22 May 2014, 06:20:55 pm
I had a voicemail message saying, "Hi, I'm (blokey). Please call me back on this number." I guess he thought I would be able to guess which number was his from the list of missed calls I had...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mistress-Devon on 22 May 2014, 06:41:34 pm
Quote from: AliceRed on 20 May 2014, 09:33:08 pm
Quote from: saturnspirit on 18 May 2014, 11:45:52 am
Had a guy asking if I could cater for an unusual fetish (alarm bells ringing timewaster!)

So i asked what it was. Can he bring a box full of live insects and bugs to my incall place and i step on them and kill them with my heels as he wanks!


Yep, crushing bugs & other animals is a big big fetish. Huge. But completely illegal to entertain.

A form of macraphilia/gigantism perhaps?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 22 May 2014, 07:58:02 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 22 May 2014, 06:20:55 pm
I had a voicemail message saying, "Hi, I'm (blokey). Please call me back on this number." I guess he thought I would be able to guess which number was his from the list of missed calls I had...

I get that too, or I get "Hi it's Steve/Dave/Pete call me back" now we all know all punters are called Steve or Dave so which one is it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 22 May 2014, 08:39:57 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 22 May 2014, 06:20:55 pm
I had a voicemail message saying, "Hi, I'm (blokey). Please call me back on this number." I guess he thought I would be able to guess which number was his from the list of missed calls I had...

This is exactly why I switched my voicemail off, I mean even if they did leave their number doesn't mean by the time you get the message it will be suitable to call them
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 22 May 2014, 09:43:26 pm
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 22 May 2014, 08:39:57 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 22 May 2014, 06:20:55 pm
I had a voicemail message saying, "Hi, I'm (blokey). Please call me back on this number." I guess he thought I would be able to guess which number was his from the list of missed calls I had...

This is exactly why I switched my voicemail off, I mean even if they did leave their number doesn't mean by the time you get the message it will be suitable to call them
I think I might just do that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 22 May 2014, 10:03:32 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 22 May 2014, 09:43:26 pm
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 22 May 2014, 08:39:57 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 22 May 2014, 06:20:55 pm
I had a voicemail message saying, "Hi, I'm (blokey). Please call me back on this number." I guess he thought I would be able to guess which number was his from the list of missed calls I had...

This is exactly why I switched my voicemail off, I mean even if they did leave their number doesn't mean by the time you get the message it will be suitable to call them
I think I might just do that.

I just did it too! Should have done it years ago, x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 22 May 2014, 10:06:13 pm
I did it years ago  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 22 May 2014, 10:30:44 pm
Quote from: Mistress-Devon on 22 May 2014, 06:41:34 pm
Quote from: AliceRed on 20 May 2014, 09:33:08 pm

Yep, crushing bugs & other animals is a big big fetish. Huge. But completely illegal to entertain.

A form of macraphilia/gigantism perhaps?

I imagine so! Crushing phallic or spherical objects is a Thing too, because they're imagining watching you crush their genitals. Lots of bananas, eggs and stuffed toys meet their demise on clips4sale. And many gummy bears are eaten for the vore fans.
On, fetish. I love thee.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 22 May 2014, 11:47:00 pm
Just logged in to AW to find message after message of silly emails :(

One of them asked how close I was to xxx town centre-that's about the seventh time he has asked me the same thing?  ???

On the bright side, I did have a message from someone who clearly read my profile before contacting me...there IS hope after all!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 23 May 2014, 08:54:20 am
It infuriated me when someone rings and ask where are you based? It's on my profile! Is t that something you'd check first? X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 23 May 2014, 11:19:32 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 23 May 2014, 08:54:20 am
It infuriated me when someone rings and ask where are you based? It's on my profile! Is t that something you'd check first? X

I hate that to as they tend to ask when my profile says Outcalls only.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 25 May 2014, 08:56:58 pm
8.53PM hi are you available at 9 o'clock tonight?

Needless to say I put the phone down. It's my day off and I don't take appointments this late at nite without prior notice anyway but 7 minutes notice is taking the piss!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 25 May 2014, 09:05:15 pm
Text message comes in where he says he was looking for a hooker so called me but he doesn't give his money to cheap slags anyway and that he likes classy lady's lol! Pure charmer but I am not sure how many classy lady's he'll get with that sort of notice.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 25 May 2014, 09:10:17 pm
What is it with twits that keep texting you when you have said politely to ring?
Had a guy texting asking if I am ok with him being in a wheelchair.I said yes and asked him to ring tomorrow so we could discuss his requirements.
He then went on to ask where I was and if I charged extra cos he was in a wheelchair.Again asked him to ring tomorrow,he then texted to say he was just making sure I was ok with him being in a chair...and then said he would ring but wanted to know if I would do the same thing in his booking as I do for other clients.
I just ignored.I feel bad as I know he will want to be sure I can accommodate him but surely we can talk it through far better rather than texting?!?
Just because he is disabled doesn't mean he can ignore me asking to speak rather than text.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saturnspirit on 25 May 2014, 11:33:02 pm
I need you to do a outcall asap (this email was at 01:25) but i can't be bothered to go to an atm, can i pay you by bank transfer  in a few days when i can be bothered to go to the bank?

Strangely this guy has 5 positive feedback.

Funny enough I can't be bothered to reply!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 25 May 2014, 11:56:02 pm
Another example of why feedback can be completely useless x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: miss.mindy on 26 May 2014, 08:44:06 am
I had my first really off putting caller today. I only do incalls because I don't have a car and the fact I do incalls is on my ad. So he calls up and tries to get me to do an outcall. The second time he tries to get me to do an outcall and I say no he says "I'm just asking because if you had a car we could meet somewhere" suggesting a public meeting so I reiterate that I only do incalls. He says he lives in a place that's an hour away as the reason in a way that suggests I'm the one being unreasonable.

Then he tries to find out where exactly in my suburb I live (It's a really small suburb so that question is unnecessary for just an enquiry) and he kept pushing I tell him until I said I would tell him closer to the time if he made a booking. He said it was too far away anyway and hung up.

He sounded pushy and a bit off balance over the phone so I'm glad he didn't want to book in the end , not that I would have seen him.

To top it all off he sent me a text 5 mins later saying "Hey if you know any girls who want a big cock or sperm doner let me know." Blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 26 May 2014, 08:54:38 am
I hang up on guys like that x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AlexRa on 26 May 2014, 12:11:54 pm
I had one text conversation ended up with insult. Thought it could make yous smile.
The guy was texting week earlier about car fun. I don't do car funs.  He was politely rejected.

A week later (I assume he still didn't find anyone to accommodate him) he repeats his offer. Again remained it is not on my menu, he insists.

Punter: Babe, did you make your mind about car fun with me?
Me: Darling, these are my rules for car fun: your car is not older than 2013 and has engine not smaller than 3 l; you bring your booklog with you and you sign the car off to me after.
Punter: if you bring 26K with you I can sell it.
Me: I am not interested in buying, and you pay for the fun too, don't forget cash.
Punter: you full of shit.
Me: Ouch.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 26 May 2014, 12:45:32 pm
Isn't it amazing how they turn when their ego is bruised.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: donna on 26 May 2014, 04:35:35 pm
douche: can you come to my work and we shag in the toilets?
me:  sure do i need to bring my CV too
douche: what
me: fuck off hanged up

this guy needs to google the meaning of discreet
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AlexRa on 26 May 2014, 06:06:52 pm
just received a call, mind: no 'Hi', 'hello' or any other pleasenaries, you can imagine, what comes with scum like that.
-> what are you prices?
-> sorry it is not a bakery
-> what?
hung up
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 26 May 2014, 06:15:57 pm

Hi there,

Hope you are well.

I am newish to the site and just came back in after some time away.

As you know, the market on here for a single guy is fairly limited. I wondered if you maybe interested in partnering up to offer threesomes and maybe cramming etc. so FFM and also MMF as I am openly bisexual.

Pics are on my profile including face pics so you can have a wee look.

Let me know if your up for it and we could maybe have a chat about it.

Love ****xxx

Erm no I don't give out free sex sunshine! His profile is covered with cock pictures and pictures if his or someone's cock up someone's arse......nice!
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 26 May 2014, 06:57:54 pm
Quote from: donna on 26 May 2014, 04:35:35 pm
douche: can you come to my work and we shag in the toilets?
me:  sure do i need to bring my CV too
douche: what
me: fuck off hanged up

this guy needs to google the meaning of discreet

LOL!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 26 May 2014, 07:00:36 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 26 May 2014, 06:15:57 pm

Hi there,

Hope you are well.

I am newish to the site and just came back in after some time away.

As you know, the market on here for a single guy is fairly limited. I wondered if you maybe interested in partnering up to offer threesomes and maybe cramming etc. so FFM and also MMF as I am openly bisexual.

Pics are on my profile including face pics so you can have a wee look.

Let me know if your up for it and we could maybe have a chat about it.

Love ****xxx

Erm no I don't give out free sex sunshine! His profile is covered with cock pictures and pictures if his or someone's cock up someone's arse......nice!

Looking forward to seeing what these cock-obsessed men will do once AW starts enforcing the Free-to-view pics rules! What on earth will they fill their profiles with then?!?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 26 May 2014, 07:05:44 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 26 May 2014, 07:00:36 pm
Looking forward to seeing what these cock-obsessed men will do once AW starts enforcing the Free-to-view pics rules! What on earth will they fill their profiles with then?!?!

Perhaps there will be a few less knobs joining the site.......

Oh yes I got that exact email today, looks like hes busy spamming all the Scots girls.......
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 26 May 2014, 08:42:25 pm
Quote from: UrbaneAspects on 26 August 2009, 08:16:05 pm
Quote from: Colette on 26 August 2009, 11:52:49 am
Wanted to know if i could see him for an hour but 'give him a discount as the credit crunch has bitten him hard'.

If there is one thing you learn with having different characters, is that the same man hollering about a discount will turn around and hire someone again the very next week.
I tell them to mastubate if their so short of cash save the ?20.00 they are so reluctant to part with !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 28 May 2014, 10:04:42 pm
In response to my vivastreet ad
"Hi I'm a slimy man,I wanna fuck you,do you wanna fuck me then come and ring on my mobile number" ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissN on 29 May 2014, 01:10:24 am
I've had someone text me about 30 times since Sunday, asking if I would go on a date with him and if he could be my security because he is such a 'nice guy' ... Over and over again! Blocked after too long!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 29 May 2014, 08:41:41 pm
So I have been doing a ?30 discount on my rates this entire month, ends the end of the month and I just received a text saying this........

If you can do some kind of discount I will book up.

What more does that moron want?

He then followed his text with a picture message but I have blocked picture messages on my old phone so I can only imagine what his picture message is  ::)

How do these idiots expect a service given to them to the best of the girls ability when they won't pay their rates?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 29 May 2014, 10:12:28 pm
yeah, idiots all over lol.
I had one calling me 2 days ago, asking if its me in the pictures lol.
I was pissed off and told him no, it is my mothers pics ...
Then he said I shouldnt advertise if I dont want bussines lol, I was speachless.

Ive send him a text after he hungup on me, telling him he has no brain to think that an escort who  is doing this job for many years is not a genuine one, with genuine pics and ads all over the internet ... Then I blocked him  ;D

Lots of idiots around.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 29 May 2014, 11:58:57 pm
I just had a guy phone me a couple of times that I just pressed the cancel button and he sent me a text saying if I don't want people to phone then I should deactivate my profile.

How am I suppose to make any money without a profile? He's missing the point that I ain't interested in talking to people or taking bookings at midnight.

Has since phoned another 2 times since I started writing this and has said I am the biggest stuck up cow he's dealt with. Well of course I am a stuck up cow at midnight cause there's no reason for him to be phoning me as I don't work at this time  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 31 May 2014, 01:14:42 pm
How about this exchange:

oddfellow: If i take one hour, i can do what i want yeah? :P can book on this weekend?

Me: It depends what you want and if it's on my likes list give me a call if you woild like to make an appointment.

oddfellow: hmm..you see..i like you, but want somehow without personal details...and for call..hmm..maybe buy new card latter and call you :) but my English language is poor..so can be to hard comunicate..maybe..maybe not..
but i don't wanna fill name or any personal details..just somehow to deal..that in that time in that place..maybe can you tell me where i must to come and when... and without names and any personal dtails somehow..can do like that? i just wanna enjoy in you and after we all that forget..ok maybe i never forget girl like you :))) but...you know what i mean yeah...
and what that GFE? what's mean, i new here.. for me first time here....:))))
but i can this weekend enjoy in you :P YEAH? for example ....in saturday...from 3pm til 4 ? ok? and plays write you..after i call you to deal.. but firstly write here info ok, because can be to hard understand what you say :) im not English if what... ach..ok write something, wait you

Me (after reading this I thougfht this sounds like a guy pretending to be foreign)
Sorry honey but I'm not sure I'm the girl for you. I need to be able to communicate with people and as you said your English is poor so probably not going to work.

Gfe means girlfriend experience.

All the best Eliza x

Oddfellow: NO BABE :) I LOOKING ON YOU AND I WANT F.CK YOU :)) YOU FOR ME :))
and i'm going to work.. just work in warehouse where is don't need lot of communicate:)
but i want you be my slag :P can i take you today on 4 pm? or tomorrow...


I decided just to block. I'm no ones slag!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 31 May 2014, 03:57:13 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 31 May 2014, 01:14:42 pm
How about this exchange:

oddfellow: If i take one hour, i can do what i want yeah? :P can book on this weekend?

Me: It depends what you want and if it's on my likes list give me a call if you woild like to make an appointment.

oddfellow: hmm..you see..i like you, but want somehow without personal details...and for call..hmm..maybe buy new card latter and call you :) but my English language is poor..so can be to hard comunicate..maybe..maybe not..
but i don't wanna fill name or any personal details..just somehow to deal..that in that time in that place..maybe can you tell me where i must to come and when... and without names and any personal dtails somehow..can do like that? i just wanna enjoy in you and after we all that forget..ok maybe i never forget girl like you :))) but...you know what i mean yeah...
and what that GFE? what's mean, i new here.. for me first time here....:))))
but i can this weekend enjoy in you :P YEAH? for example ....in saturday...from 3pm til 4 ? ok? and plays write you..after i call you to deal.. but firstly write here info ok, because can be to hard understand what you say :) im not English if what... ach..ok write something, wait you

Me (after reading this I thougfht this sounds like a guy pretending to be foreign)
Sorry honey but I'm not sure I'm the girl for you. I need to be able to communicate with people and as you said your English is poor so probably not going to work.

Gfe means girlfriend experience.

All the best Eliza x

Oddfellow: NO BABE :) I LOOKING ON YOU AND I WANT F.CK YOU :)) YOU FOR ME :))
and i'm going to work.. just work in warehouse where is don't need lot of communicate:)
but i want you be my slag :P can i take you today on 4 pm? or tomorrow...


I decided just to block. I'm no ones slag!

Ah I had this one a month or so ago.  It turns out that he really means it when he says he can do what he wants in that hour
I asked him and he wanted to do anal (I don't offer it) piss on me (I don't offer it) and slap me around (guess what I don't offer it) The rest he said wasn't in English so I couldn't translate what he wanted (He is Arabic speaking). 
He is under the impression however that if he pays he can literally do whatever he pleases in this time and your likes list is not taken into account.  I have the impression the few girls he saw in his own country were paid to put up with whatever the clients want and he assumes we are the same. 
When I explained that is not how it works I got a lovely text saying Kos Omak Sharmota  or in English f*** off whore and then he changed from writing Arabic in normal letters to his own language way of writing and I don't read Arabic writing so didn't have a clue what it said.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 31 May 2014, 05:03:28 pm
That's why I nerve see foreign men who's English isn't good because you never know what they can get away with in the own country and they always use the.......I do not understand as a way of pushing boundaries, this is from personal experience so I no longer deal with them. Directing them to my place is also a massive issue but I am happy to see foreign men who do speak good English x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat. on 01 June 2014, 04:33:26 pm
One of my regulars booked me for 2hrs session then after one hour he had to leave and told me I can keep the money, then later on he txted me I should give him a free of charge session.. I ignored him don't like him much anyway!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 01 June 2014, 05:44:55 pm
Quote from: Dani on 31 May 2014, 03:57:13 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 31 May 2014, 01:14:42 pm
How about this exchange:

oddfellow: If i take one hour, i can do what i want yeah? :P can book on this weekend?

Me: It depends what you want and if it's on my likes list give me a call if you woild like to make an appointment.

oddfellow: hmm..you see..i like you, but want somehow without personal details...and for call..hmm..maybe buy new card latter and call you :) but my English language is poor..so can be to hard comunicate..maybe..maybe not..
but i don't wanna fill name or any personal details..just somehow to deal..that in that time in that place..maybe can you tell me where i must to come and when... and without names and any personal dtails somehow..can do like that? i just wanna enjoy in you and after we all that forget..ok maybe i never forget girl like you :))) but...you know what i mean yeah...
and what that GFE? what's mean, i new here.. for me first time here....:))))
but i can this weekend enjoy in you :P YEAH? for example ....in saturday...from 3pm til 4 ? ok? and plays write you..after i call you to deal.. but firstly write here info ok, because can be to hard understand what you say :) im not English if what... ach..ok write something, wait you

Me (after reading this I thougfht this sounds like a guy pretending to be foreign)
Sorry honey but I'm not sure I'm the girl for you. I need to be able to communicate with people and as you said your English is poor so probably not going to work.

Gfe means girlfriend experience.

All the best Eliza x

Oddfellow: NO BABE :) I LOOKING ON YOU AND I WANT F.CK YOU :)) YOU FOR ME :))
and i'm going to work.. just work in warehouse where is don't need lot of communicate:)
but i want you be my slag :P can i take you today on 4 pm? or tomorrow...


I decided just to block. I'm no ones slag!

Ah I had this one a month or so ago.  It turns out that he really means it when he says he can do what he wants in that hour
I asked him and he wanted to do anal (I don't offer it) piss on me (I don't offer it) and slap me around (guess what I don't offer it) The rest he said wasn't in English so I couldn't translate what he wanted (He is Arabic speaking). 
He is under the impression however that if he pays he can literally do whatever he pleases in this time and your likes list is not taken into account.  I have the impression the few girls he saw in his own country were paid to put up with whatever the clients want and he assumes we are the same. 
When I explained that is not how it works I got a lovely text saying Kos Omak Sharmota  or in English f*** off whore and then he changed from writing Arabic in normal letters to his own language way of writing and I don't read Arabic writing so didn't have a clue what it said.

wow glad I blocked then I didn't think it was worth my time :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 04 June 2014, 08:47:38 am
Woke up to a text this morning saying.......

Sorry for texting at this time but my girlfriend is lying beside me and your beautiful. Can I meet you on the 16th?

As he's text me then obviously I am going to ignore it anyway but TMI springs to mind, why would he feel he has to tell me he's lying next to his girlfriend? Is he trying to make himself sound more interesting or more of a dick? Who knows but no thanks sunshine.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 04 June 2014, 11:03:36 am
2 ignores from me as well, must be the weather making them nuts  :FF

Got 2 mails today:

Quote
Hey xxx, As you can tell from the email address, it's probably fair to say I shouldn't be doing this! I'm in the Redland area - do you cover this area? Also, do you take credit cards? (I'm 45, in fairly good shape ;-) and I've never been with an escort.... but those breasts... oh my... Sx

and the best one:

Quote
Hey

Am 34,would you like a boyfriend or are you attached?

Damo

Im impressed  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 04 June 2014, 11:49:59 am
Had a guy text about a booking, started off ok then asked.

Him: R u married?

Me: That is personal and not something I will be answering.

Him: I was just wondering cos u dont do Incalls

Yes cos being married/in a relationship is the only reason someone wouldn't be doing Incalls.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosa on 04 June 2014, 12:27:42 pm
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 04 June 2014, 11:49:59 am
Had a guy text about a booking, started off ok then asked.

Him: R u married?

Me: That is personal and not something I will be answering.

Him: I was just wondering cos u dont do Incalls

Yes cos being married/in a relationship is the only reason someone wouldn't be doing Incalls.

When I advised someone I was having the weekend off, and there would be a day in the next week when I wouldn't be working or contactable, he responded with "I'll bet you are married". Nothing of the sort, I was simple having a day off to attend a course, and going to watch sport I follow. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 04 June 2014, 12:46:07 pm
Him:Hi I have 2 French blokes here who want some company for the evening.
Me:So why are you ringing me then?
Him:Er well they can't speak English.
Me:So who are you then?
Him:Er....
Me:So you want me to entertain 2 blokes who I have not spoken to and who can't speak any English?
Him:Er well...yeah I see what you mean.
Me:Bye now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 04 June 2014, 03:06:22 pm
I just remembered a call I had yesterday.
The guy told me they are 4 of them looking for an escort lol.
I told him they can wank each other off
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 04 June 2014, 06:27:08 pm
Call last night at 10.30pm,

Him, hi what's your address?

Me, I'm sorry?

Him, what's your address I want a booking,

Phone down and switched off!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 04 June 2014, 06:47:30 pm
I put the phone down too when guys come on the phone asking for my address without even asking if I am available, some people have very little manners x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: miss.mindy on 04 June 2014, 07:06:04 pm
I'm learning when to hang the hell up. Don't people realise how creepy that sounds just asking for an address like that? Especially when some people are really insistent you give it to them. I don't feel comfortable giving it out until they are in my suburb ready for the booking and its working well.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 04 June 2014, 07:07:51 pm
I think some treat us like we are just happy for the business, no security or self respect, like they would order a pizza, same as when they put random booking requests through x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 04 June 2014, 07:09:51 pm
Exactly
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 04 June 2014, 09:29:39 pm
This had me guffawing out loud...

Well Hello Miss Kimberly ,what a refreshing change to see a woman of
substance on this site , i would love to spend a absolute filthy night of
fun ,fuelled with dialog , drinks , and if you permit a quality sniff ,
please let me no how you feel about this , i live in Stockport but who is
prepared to travel , mail me or phone [redacted] , i can
promise you a night to remember , i have a wicked sense of humour , , i am
respectful , clean , honest , and above all funny , i always smell good ,
but depending on how you look at it, i am a very naughty boy , , but
tasteful with impeccable manners and i treat ladies like Gods, i work with
in the film & tv industry along with bands that tour , i. i have some
gorgeous outfits that have come from film sets , if you like dress for
pleasure i certainly can accommodate , i simply love ladies that take
pride in there appearance especially those who look fantastically Horny
and sexy , in sensual stockings , tight fitting pencil skirts , Killer
heels are a must , and the brightest of red lipstick , false eyelashes are
also nice,let me no if you like to dress up for fun filth and pleasure ,
love to no what floats your boat to , let me no if you have a window for
such an overnight and how much you want ? speak soon take care , Kind
Regards Paul x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 04 June 2014, 10:31:05 pm
Had a guy wanting a mmmf, willing to "If you're interested I can pay 120"

 :D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kinkyboots on 05 June 2014, 01:23:52 am
Quote from: chloe_ on 28 May 2014, 10:04:42 pm
In response to my vivastreet ad
"Hi I'm a slimy man,I wanna fuck you,do you wanna fuck me then come and ring on my mobile number" ::)

Lmao, that one in particular has really tickled me.

The one you've posted looks really familiar Kimberly i'm pretty sure i received the same thing if not very similar from a bloke on AW  ::) x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 05 June 2014, 01:36:23 am
Quote from: KimberlyC on 04 June 2014, 09:29:39 pm
This had me guffawing out loud...

Well Hello Miss Kimberly ,what a refreshing change to see a woman of
substance on this site , i would love to spend a absolute filthy night of
fun ,fuelled with dialog , drinks , and if you permit a quality sniff ,
please let me no how you feel about this , i live in Stockport but who is
prepared to travel , mail me or phone [redacted] , i can
promise you a night to remember , i have a wicked sense of humour , , i am
respectful , clean , honest , and above all funny , i always smell good ,
but depending on how you look at it, i am a very naughty boy , , but
tasteful with impeccable manners and i treat ladies like Gods, i work with
in the film & tv industry along with bands that tour , i. i have some
gorgeous outfits that have come from film sets , if you like dress for
pleasure i certainly can accommodate , i simply love ladies that take
pride in there appearance especially those who look fantastically Horny
and sexy , in sensual stockings , tight fitting pencil skirts , Killer
heels are a must , and the brightest of red lipstick , false eyelashes are
also nice,let me no if you like to dress up for fun filth and pleasure ,
love to no what floats your boat to , let me no if you have a window for
such an overnight and how much you want ? speak soon take care , Kind
Regards Paul x

This is very familiar, he's either messaged me the same message before or I've read it on here already x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 05 June 2014, 08:39:16 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 05 June 2014, 01:36:23 am
Quote from: KimberlyC on 04 June 2014, 09:29:39 pm
This had me guffawing out loud...

Well Hello Miss Kimberly ,what a refreshing change to see a woman of
substance on this site , i would love to spend a absolute filthy night of
fun ,fuelled with dialog , drinks , and if you permit a quality sniff ,
please let me no how you feel about this , i live in Stockport but who is
prepared to travel , mail me or phone [redacted] , i can
promise you a night to remember , i have a wicked sense of humour , , i am
respectful , clean , honest , and above all funny , i always smell good ,
but depending on how you look at it, i am a very naughty boy , , but
tasteful with impeccable manners and i treat ladies like Gods, i work with
in the film & tv industry along with bands that tour , i. i have some
gorgeous outfits that have come from film sets , if you like dress for
pleasure i certainly can accommodate , i simply love ladies that take
pride in there appearance especially those who look fantastically Horny
and sexy , in sensual stockings , tight fitting pencil skirts , Killer
heels are a must , and the brightest of red lipstick , false eyelashes are
also nice,let me no if you like to dress up for fun filth and pleasure ,
love to no what floats your boat to , let me no if you have a window for
such an overnight and how much you want ? speak soon take care , Kind
Regards Paul x

This is very familiar, he's either messaged me the same message before or I've read it on here already x

Me too! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 05 June 2014, 12:06:33 pm
I thought that too! I had a quick search but I couldn't find it - it's definitely here somewhere :).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 05 June 2014, 03:18:09 pm
'Hello Madam!!!
my name is xxxxx ,im 18!!!
my parents send me for 3 weeks in London ,study english!!!
can i  visit you for bdsm session???
i have enough money,
im virgin never try girl,but i wonna try strap on from mature women.
i interesting for strap on,submission,golden rain ,and maybe fisting
thanks'

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 05 June 2014, 04:42:00 pm
Talk about sprinting before you can even crawl  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 05 June 2014, 07:46:20 pm
"Hey I'm jay I'm 19 I live in xxx and I'm looking for someone to do some duo work with I'm the xxx area, I have been escorting since I was 17 I've done duo work in the past and it has gone really well, let me know if you would be interested and we'll talk about getting things set up! "

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 06 June 2014, 02:56:06 pm
Text message comes in.........

Him: What's your address? (Not even a hello and I only responded cause I seen I had a missed call from him aswell).

Me: And why should I tell you that, you don't have a booking with me?

Him: Cause I want sex and need to know where to go.

Me: Fuck off, I try to avoid rude and ignorant people like you. You haven't even asked if I am available, you don't have an appointment with me and you haven't even spoken to me or even so much as said hello so no thank you.

Block!

Why do some not even have the basic skills on how to speak to someone?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 06 June 2014, 05:49:44 pm
Personally I try not to answer texts like that as theres no point, you know right from the start theres no booking in the offing, but chances are it'll annoy you......

I had a guy the last couple of days emailing me trying to get a precise location out of me with no promise of a booking.......I give a vague answer, he tries to pin me down to which I answer Yes I do (give more details), once I have a date, time and duration for a booking, and once said booking is confirmed....

Then I got a phone call an hour later, I'm sure it was the same guy, someone trying to get my address out of me, he got the same answer!

Sometimes just for fun if I'm bored I will just text back exactly what a guy texted to me if its particularly ridiculous/rude/disrespectful, such as this the other day Hi can I fuck your ur arse - he got the same text right back at him!


 

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 06 June 2014, 06:57:57 pm
Another clanger to add to the vast collection:

Twit: I really want to see you, but can't afford your outcall prices. Do you do car meets? I don't have a car, so could you pick me up from mine in your car?

Me: I don't do car meets.

Twit: can you do an incall? And could you pick me up from mine and bring me back to yours for an incall? I'm in Halifax, its only about 25 mins drive from Leeds...

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 06 June 2014, 07:39:38 pm
Quote from: BJC on 06 June 2014, 06:57:57 pm
Another clanger to add to the vast collection:

Twit: I really want to see you, but can't afford your outcall prices. Do you do car meets? I don't have a car, so could you pick me up from mine in your car?

Me: I don't do car meets.

Twit: can you do an incall? And could you pick me up from mine and bring me back to yours for an incall? I'm in Halifax, its only about 25 mins drive from Leeds...

 :FF

I would have replied with "Theres these things called buses/trains"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 06 June 2014, 09:11:24 pm
Quote from: BJC on 06 June 2014, 06:57:57 pm
Another clanger to add to the vast collection:

Twit: I really want to see you, but can't afford your outcall prices. Do you do car meets? I don't have a car, so could you pick me up from mine in your car?

Me: I don't do car meets.

Twit: can you do an incall? And could you pick me up from mine and bring me back to yours for an incall? I'm in Halifax, its only about 25 mins drive from Leeds...

 :FF

Someone else has posted that exact message on here before lol what an idiot wanting a car meet without a car and you having to go pick him up, hahaha! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 06 June 2014, 09:20:07 pm
They are put on callblocker app and its because they just havnt got a clue how to talk or interact to make a booking.  I get continiously text hi  babe u same as in your pics or u free when it states please call to book I dont respond to texts.
cant read or cant afford a 15 min session .please wank at home for free cut your costs your clearly struggling financially !
want me to have an extensive wardrobe of lingerie clothing they must think I run a sex shop too with access for all their whims lol



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 06 June 2014, 09:50:57 pm
just got an text: Hi where ru

Not bothering to reply, clearly.

2 minutes before I got an call, the guy asked me out for a drink. Nothing else, just a freebie drink  ;D

Must be something in the air
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 06 June 2014, 10:57:34 pm
I just had a call from a fairly dodgy-sounding bloke, who sounded pretty time-waster-y, mostly because he seemed mainly obsessed with the kind of shoes I was wearing.

Bored, and stupidly willing to give the benefit of the doubt, I asked him for his full address as he requested an outcall.

Address comes through of his supposed studio flat: I check it and it's the full address for the BBC's Broadcasting House in London. Oh right! Like we don't check these things.

On the plus side though, maybe he's some kind of modern-day Phantom of the Opera and lives in the BBC's basement complete with mask and rowing boat  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 06 June 2014, 11:19:10 pm
I get a lot of this,

Him. Hi babe, you alright?

Me. Yes.

Him. What you up to?

Me. Nothing, do you want a booking?

Him. I dunno babe are you worth it? (Or something along those lines)

Hang up and block, does anyone else get these types?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 06 June 2014, 11:50:56 pm
Yep. Along with the variants of 'Are you good?' 'Are you any good at blowjobs?' and 'If your any good I'll extend to an hour.'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 06 June 2014, 11:52:59 pm
Quote from: BJC on 06 June 2014, 06:57:57 pm
Another clanger to add to the vast collection:

Twit: I really want to see you, but can't afford your outcall prices. Do you do car meets? I don't have a car, so could you pick me up from mine in your car?

Me: I don't do car meets.

Twit: can you do an incall? And could you pick me up from mine and bring me back to yours for an incall? I'm in Halifax, its only about 25 mins drive from Leeds...

 :FF
Oh yeah I get this sometimes...'Will you pick me up from the train station?' or ' Will you meet me at the bus station?' I reply with do you ask your dentist or G.P or optician to pick you up or do you get yourself to an appointment?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 07 June 2014, 12:07:32 am
Quote from: Hadley on 06 June 2014, 10:57:34 pm
Address comes through of his supposed studio flat: I check it and it's the full address for the BBC's Broadcasting House in London. Oh right! Like we don't check these things.

Ha ha that reminds me of the time I had someone make a booking for an outcall to a hotel gave their name and said they were in room 426, instantly became suspicious as it was to a Travelodge and except for ones in the cities they tend to be no more than 2 floors in my area . So checked it out on Google maps and low and behold it was a 2 storey building.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 07 June 2014, 12:19:42 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 06 June 2014, 02:56:06 pm
Text message comes in.........

Him: What's your address? (Not even a hello and I only responded cause I seen I had a missed call from him aswell).

Me: And why should I tell you that, you don't have a booking with me?

Him: Cause I want sex and need to know where to go.

Me: Fuck off, I try to avoid rude and ignorant people like you. You haven't even asked if I am available, you don't have an appointment with me and you haven't even spoken to me or even so much as said hello so no thank you.

Block!

Why do some not even have the basic skills on how to speak to someone?
I always give assholes like this a mouthful too! Tossers!!! Can't even address me by my bloody name!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 07 June 2014, 12:25:19 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 06 June 2014, 11:19:10 pm
I get a lot of this,

Him. Hi babe, you alright?

Me. Yes.

Him. What you up to?

Me. Nothing, do you want a booking?

Him. I dunno babe are you worth it? (Or something along those lines)

Hang up and block, does anyone else get these types?
Ahhhh I can't stand guys like this!! I always hang up, then send them a mouthful through text message about how to read the bloody profile etc etc. Absolutely wankers! Makes me so angry! I just don't know wtf is wrong with some people.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 07 June 2014, 01:10:48 am
I answered a call on Monday from someone who straight away I knew was a TW so I said I wasn't free. He then text "fuck you you cheap woman".  I like to reply calmly to these as it's not what they hope for so I text "At least I can get sex, lol". He replied "for love, not money. Shame on you. God will sort you people".

Like, why did you bother to phone me then! I didn't phone you!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 07 June 2014, 01:01:44 pm
Just got this email, Im so excited  ;D
I really dont get whats in some guys minds

hey

you couldnt help me with no money
buy any chance in need of a woman
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 07 June 2014, 01:19:37 pm
Message via Vivastreet.

Him: Hi I'm in xxxxxxx I've got ?40 what will that get me?

Me: Your hand?


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 07 June 2014, 03:59:28 pm
a text came through  after id removed my available sign and mobile number yesterday from a complete unknown person id never spoken too text reads  " hey you forgot me "   ::)
what do they expect if they never were known in the first place lol !!!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 07 June 2014, 04:41:01 pm
AW message:

"I'd love to be balls deep in you x"

Good for you!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Freya on 07 June 2014, 04:57:21 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 05 June 2014, 07:46:20 pm
"Hey I'm jay I'm 19 I live in xxx and I'm looking for someone to do some duo work with I'm the xxx area, I have been escorting since I was 17 I've done duo work in the past and it has gone really well, let me know if you would be interested and we'll talk about getting things set up! "

 ::)

Ooh, bit like taking on an apprentice, is there a government grant available?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 07 June 2014, 10:31:01 pm

How does one get to have a go at that juicy pussy?


That's one of the quickest routes to my block list ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 08 June 2014, 01:41:26 am
Funny how these morons think we sit here 24/7 with soaking wet pussy's lol  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 08 June 2014, 08:54:29 am
at 23.00 a text came through In capitals  I NEED YOU NOW
I did reply do you require ambulance police or fire brigade?  lol but  i got no reply after that  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 08 June 2014, 12:04:05 pm
Quote from: Erotic flower on 08 June 2014, 08:54:29 am
at 23.00 a text came through In capitals  I NEED YOU NOW
I did reply do you require ambulance police or fire brigade?  lol but  i got no reply after that  :o

Don't forget Coast Guard :-D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 08 June 2014, 12:52:00 pm
Text comes in this morning saying........

Him: I love you darling

Me: Who's this?

Him: I want to meet with you next Monday, is it possible? Please my name is Debbie.

Me: Fuck off creep!

Him: Darling this is my new nickname. I love you very much.

Blocked!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 08 June 2014, 01:30:16 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 08 June 2014, 12:52:00 pm
Text comes in this morning saying........

Him: I love you darling

Me: Who's this?

Him: I want to meet with you next Monday, is it possible? Please my name is Debbie.

Me: Fuck off creep!

Him: Darling this is my new nickname. I love you very much.

Blocked!
I got a Debbie the other day..claimed she was a 22 year old woman. Told her to ring me and she said she couldn't as she was with her mum...hmmm
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 08 June 2014, 02:06:56 pm
I wonder if "Debbie" reads this forum lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 08 June 2014, 02:45:33 pm
Logged into AW after a few days off and got this

"You do bareback, unprotected sex?"

I replied with
   
"Yeah with everyone, so if you do it with me there's a good chance you could get an STD. HIV if you're lucky.
ARE YOU A FUCKING IDIOT?"

No patience for that kind of idiot, who on earth thinks unprotected sex is okay in this day and age?! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 09 June 2014, 05:57:55 pm
Ok its been a long day - and just now I was told that I was being obstructive (or some such nonsence) just because I said I needed a minumum of 30 minutes notice, jeez   :FF

Then some idiot rings up, firstly asking about webcam services, then says 'can I come over for a BJ'. I am halfway thro explaining 'you book me for my time not per service.......' then the asshole rings up on me!


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 09 June 2014, 06:04:09 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 09 June 2014, 05:57:55 pm
Ok its been a long day - and just now I was told that I was being obstructive (or some such nonsence) just because I said I needed a minumum of 30 minutes notice, jeez   :FF

Then some idiot rings up, firstly asking about webcam services, then says 'can I come over for a BJ'. I am halfway thro explaining 'you book me for my time not per service.......' then the asshole rings up on me!

Ha he would hate me, I'm minimum of 3 hours.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 09 June 2014, 06:13:24 pm
90 mins notice is perfect for me if I don't have anyone else booked in x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 10 June 2014, 07:56:44 am
I have some twit who every weeks asks 'are you free now' so I kicked off at him yesterday and he snaps saying he has a family so cannot text in advance or plan, so I said most of my clients are married men, they book in advance or at least give me an hours notice but I still cant do 'available now' appointments, I need at least an hours notice.  So the stupid twit texts back, well I have been texting you since 8.30 am, its now 9.15 I will be there in 15 mins and that's you hours notice ... so I told him politely to book another service provider as I clearly cannot cater to his short notice demands ... idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 10 June 2014, 11:43:34 am
It amazes me how so many of them think they will be greeted at the door  with a happy escort who will then tried her best to please him with that sort of attitude x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 10 June 2014, 02:45:04 pm
"Now the weather is good im looking for a naughty outdoors meet babe at a beach, wooded area, field or anywhere we can get naked in the outdoors. Im willing to travel a bit closer to you if you know a place? X x"

Pretty sure I'd rather not be a sex offender ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 10 June 2014, 02:54:35 pm
Quote from: chloe_ on 10 June 2014, 02:45:04 pm
"Now the weather is good im looking for a naughty outdoors meet babe at a beach, wooded area, field or anywhere we can get naked in the outdoors. Im willing to travel a bit closer to you if you know a place? X x"

Pretty sure I'd rather not be a sex offender ;D

LOL
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 11 June 2014, 10:45:41 pm
LOL

Got a guy that wants schoolgirl rp, for me to sit on his knee and tell him all the naughty things I've been doing while he plays with me and then makes me play with myself in front of him and come before spanking and then coming over my face and tits.

All good and well...except for the fact he wants it all done in 10-15 minutes...takes me longer than an hour to come on command  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 12 June 2014, 12:09:21 am
Quote from: hannah13 on 11 June 2014, 10:45:41 pm
LOL

Got a guy that wants schoolgirl rp, for me to sit on his knee and tell him all the naughty things I've been doing while he plays with me and then makes me play with myself in front of him and come before spanking and then coming over my face and tits.

All good and well...except for the fact he wants it all done in 10-15 minutes...takes me longer than an hour to come on command  :D

Fanatist, the chance of him actually turning up is slim.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ScarletWoman on 12 June 2014, 08:49:06 am
Quote from: sweet jane on 05 June 2014, 03:18:09 pm
'Hello Madam!!!
my name is xxxxx ,im 18!!!
my parents send me for 3 weeks in London ,study english!!!
can i  visit you for bdsm session???
i have enough money,
im virgin never try girl,but i wonna try strap on from mature women.
i interesting for strap on,submission,golden rain ,and maybe fisting
thanks'
Sounds like an actual genuine client I had. 18 year old chinese male. Took me ages to get rid of him as I saw hinm once and he kept trying to rebook and turn up out of the blue. He wanted every kink in the book for a discount rate in about 15 mins. He was creepy and unemotional. He looked like a murderer.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 12 June 2014, 12:43:42 pm
I had a client about 3 weeks ago who looked like a serial killer and acted like one too, I asked him to leave after 10 minutes and on the way out he asked if he could see me again? Wtf?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ScarletWoman on 12 June 2014, 09:00:08 pm
So polite:

"Can i start off by saying you have an incredible body, incredible!

I am a twenty year old student living in **** looking to have fun with a MILF model like yourself.

I was wondering what sort of availability you have over the next month and if it's not too cheeky to have a picture of you that isn't on your website.

I hope you're well.

Thanks very much!

James"

"Milf model?" But I'm 27 and I'm not a mother or a model!

Also, No.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ScarletWoman on 12 June 2014, 09:08:49 pm
Oh good. My first scam! "LOL" indeed
!
"AM MARK J*** FROM UK,YOU CAN REACH ME
(+4407031949***) I WILL NEED YOU
ON MY VACATION TOUR TO AFRICA ON THE 19TH OF MAY   AND I WILL BE THERE
FOR 8DAYS, I WILL NEED YOU TO ESCORT ME TO AFRICA IN NIGERIA.I JUST
CHECK YOUR ADS OUT AND FOUND YOU SO COOL AND DECIDED PICK YOU .PLEASE
MAIL ME BACK IF YOU WANT TO GO WITH ME. I AM READY TO OFFER YOU A GOOD
SUM. HOPE 1,500 POUNDS PER DAY FOR ONE WEEK (8DAYS) IS OK. AND AN
UPFRONT WILL BE PAID TO YOU EVEN BEFORE YOU LEAVE YOUR STATE.ALL
NECESSARY DOCUMENT WILL BE ARRANGED BY ME SO FEEL FREE TO GET BACK TO
ME ASAP. LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING BACK FROM YOU. PLEASE GET BACK TO ME
ONLY IF YOU ARE WILLING TO GO WITH ME . PLEASE DO GET BACK TO ME ASAP
BECAUSE OF OTHER THINGS AT HAND BECAUSE AM ALWAYS BUSY.LOL  JUST MAIL
ME BACK OKAY."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 12 June 2014, 09:18:26 pm
why are scams always in caps lock?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mrs Grey on 13 June 2014, 12:47:29 am
Idiot.....Hi Hun what can I get for ?20

Me.....Well you could get a large pizza, side order or drink plus they deliver to your door  :) or KFC large bargain bucket and soft drink, but you would have to collect yourself.....decision is yours.

Idiot.....Not what I was thinking of, but thanks anyway.

Me.....No problem, happy to assist.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 13 June 2014, 07:14:29 am
Brilliant  ;D x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 13 June 2014, 08:29:30 am
46 year old man emails me saying.........

You free for a bj at 10 tonight?

Learn some effing manners  ::)

Why do some of them think that just because we're escorts that, that sort of bold one liner makes us want to meet them?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 13 June 2014, 08:44:07 am
Quote from: Amber_Chelt on 12 June 2014, 09:08:49 pm
Oh good. My first scam! "LOL" indeed
!
[redacted]

This guy has been doing the rounds for awhile, in fact I'm sure he has been mentioned on the site before.




[Unnecessary quote removed]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 13 June 2014, 09:07:18 am
Yes 'he' has, and there's an entire thread about 419 scams posing as punter enquiries somewhere.

It's been a while since we had the last flurry, so I'll remind people now that they're all basically the same and there's no need to keep endlessly pasting the quotes onto the board :).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 13 June 2014, 10:09:12 am
Quote from: ScarletWoman on 12 June 2014, 09:08:49 pm
Oh good. My first scam! "LOL" indeed
!
"AM MARK J*** FROM UK,YOU CAN REACH ME
(+4407031949***)

This is a premium rate number also.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 13 June 2014, 01:52:07 pm
"Would u b interested in a day of fun for free today x"
His profile advertises his free sex/massage service.. I told him to try a hookup website.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 13 June 2014, 03:13:35 pm
Got an email from a guy asking how far I am from v festival as he will be there in august and would like to book, this is normal, a lot of festival goers pre book,

I replied and then he emailed back saying , "I'm only 22 and don't drive so could you pick me up?"

I replied, "of course, I'll do the booking free too, stay the night if you like if you're fed up in your tent, I'll drop you back in the morning"

PRICK
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 13 June 2014, 06:52:27 pm
what has being 22 got to do with not driving?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 13 June 2014, 07:12:49 pm
Started out as a normal enquiry, then the off-topic questions started..
"many I ask where your leaving to if leaving [county]"
I said when I'd be away on holiday and when I'd be leaving for definite.

"so are you going away for uni then just been nosey lols also any chance off a few extra picts to get me through tonight till we finally meet ? possible email to me x"
I said no to both and that I don't have any concrete plans for what I'll do next.

"haha no plans you must have some reason to move away and something you want to do ??"
I explained that [county] is an escorting desert and it's hard to make a living here, I want to live in a city and maybe train in massage and doing nails so I can get a part time job in a salon (this may or may not be true, my personal life and day job are nothing to do with my escorting!).

"ah I see fair enough but big cities as im originally from one has lots off cheap European escorts!!! and apartments cost big bucks will be good to have a chat tomorrow with ya and im dout your going to be a escort all your live ...
part time and normal job think is way forward x"

I said "No offence but I can make my own choices, I'll be checking emails tomorrow morning :) xx"

.. Didn't want to tell him to get lost but I'm definitely not going to see him now.. Doing incalls, moving to a city and going full time are big decisions which I didn't ask for his useless advice on. :FF
He seems to think escorts are jobless idiots, doesn't support the idea of escorting being a legitimate career choice and I have no words for the 'cheap Europeans' comments. I think the World Cup has stolen all my usual clients :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 13 June 2014, 07:23:58 pm
I love when people tell me I wont want to do this forever... they really dont know me haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BBW_Cora on 13 June 2014, 07:29:37 pm
I don't normally post on this thread but I had this cracker of a proposal today, I found the translations hilarious  ;D

Hi, my English is not good.
I love fat women.
I live in Turkey.
Would you please come to Turkey? How much you'll pay if you want.
No Turkey fat lady like you
I'm looking for on the internet can not find.
My e-mail address **************
I look forward to your reply.

 
I made a translation to be understood from other sites
I've been translating for understanding from other sites
 
Hi, my English is not good.
I love fat women.
I live in Turkey.
Would you come to Turkey?
How much money you want to give it to you.
Like you don't have the fat lady in Turkey.
I can't find you on the Internet the fat lady.
My email address is ****************
I'm waiting for the answer.


 
Hi, my English is not good.
I love fat women.
I live in Turkey.
Can you just step in to Turkey?
how much to give.
Like you don't have a fat woman in Turkey.
I'm looking for on the Internet as you can not find the fat lady.
My email address is *****************
I'm waiting for your response simple person.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 13 June 2014, 07:30:29 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 13 June 2014, 07:23:58 pm
I love when people tell me I wont want to do this forever... they really dont know me haha!
Same! Maybe once I get my dream job I'll give up escorting, but who knows! Not their place to comment ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 13 June 2014, 07:32:38 pm
yeah totally not much jobs out there that pay me millions to do fack all tho haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 13 June 2014, 08:04:05 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 13 June 2014, 06:52:27 pm
what has being 22 got to do with not driving?!

That's very true, wtf has that got to do with it? X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 13 June 2014, 08:44:34 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 13 June 2014, 06:52:27 pm
what has being 22 got to do with not driving?!

Indeed! My other half has been driving since he was 17!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mimi_ on 13 June 2014, 09:15:14 pm
Quote from: BBW_Cora on 13 June 2014, 07:29:37 pm
I don't normally post on this thread but I had this cracker of a proposal today, I found the translations hilarious  ;D

Hi, my English is not good.
I love fat women.
I live in Turkey.
Would you please come to Turkey? How much you'll pay if you want.
No Turkey fat lady like you
I'm looking for on the internet can not find.
My e-mail address **************
I look forward to your reply.

 
I made a translation to be understood from other sites
I've been translating for understanding from other sites
 
Hi, my English is not good.
I love fat women.
I live in Turkey.
Would you come to Turkey?
How much money you want to give it to you.
Like you don't have the fat lady in Turkey.
I can't find you on the Internet the fat lady.
My email address is ****************
I'm waiting for the answer.


 
Hi, my English is not good.
I love fat women.
I live in Turkey.
Can you just step in to Turkey?
how much to give.
Like you don't have a fat woman in Turkey.
I'm looking for on the Internet as you can not find the fat lady.
My email address is *****************
I'm waiting for your response simple person.

Oh Cora, I can't cope with how funny this is!!!!

Made me think of Manuel - "I learn English from a book"  ;D ;D ;D

Edit - I just noticed the last line! Classic!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 13 June 2014, 10:10:36 pm
Quote from: BBW_Cora on 13 June 2014, 07:29:37 pm
I don't normally post on this thread but I had this cracker of a proposal today, I found the translations hilarious  ;D

Hi, my English is not good.
I love fat women.
I live in Turkey.
Would you please come to Turkey? How much you'll pay if you want.
No Turkey fat lady like you
I'm looking for on the internet can not find.
My e-mail address **************
I look forward to your reply.

 
I made a translation to be understood from other sites
I've been translating for understanding from other sites
 
Hi, my English is not good.
I love fat women.
I live in Turkey.
Would you come to Turkey?
How much money you want to give it to you.
Like you don't have the fat lady in Turkey.
I can't find you on the Internet the fat lady.
My email address is ****************
I'm waiting for the answer.


 
Hi, my English is not good.
I love fat women.
I live in Turkey.
Can you just step in to Turkey?
how much to give.
Like you don't have a fat woman in Turkey.
I'm looking for on the Internet as you can not find the fat lady.
My email address is *****************
I'm waiting for your response simple person.

He's doing the rounds :-)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 13 June 2014, 10:12:22 pm
Quote from: BBW_Cora on 13 June 2014, 07:29:37 pm
I don't normally post on this thread but I had this cracker of a proposal today, I found the translations hilarious  ;D

Hi, my English is not good.
I love fat women.
I live in Turkey.
Would you please come to Turkey? How much you'll pay if you want.
No Turkey fat lady like you
I'm looking for on the internet can not find.
My e-mail address **************
I look forward to your reply.

 
I made a translation to be understood from other sites
I've been translating for understanding from other sites
 
Hi, my English is not good.
I love fat women.
I live in Turkey.
Would you come to Turkey?
How much money you want to give it to you.
Like you don't have the fat lady in Turkey.
I can't find you on the Internet the fat lady.
My email address is ****************
I'm waiting for the answer.


 
Hi, my English is not good.
I love fat women.
I live in Turkey.
Can you just step in to Turkey?
how much to give.
Like you don't have a fat woman in Turkey.
I'm looking for on the Internet as you can not find the fat lady.
My email address is *****************
I'm waiting for your response simple person.

He's doing the rounds  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 13 June 2014, 10:16:47 pm
Fat ..... And rich is how they like them in Turkey ... And usually older too, they think they can dupe them easier.

I used to laugh when I went there.  "I love you" means I want in your knickers and I want something bought for me.

Worse than UK men and that is saying something.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BBW_Cora on 13 June 2014, 10:29:07 pm
Yeah I saw he had forwarded it to about 20 others aswell  ;D the last line had me in stitches too
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 14 June 2014, 12:37:29 am
Quote from: BBW_Cora on 13 June 2014, 07:29:37 pm
I don't normally post on this thread but I had this cracker of a proposal today, I found the translations hilarious  ;D

Hi, my English is not good.
I love fat women.
I live in Turkey.
Would you please come to Turkey? How much you'll pay if you want.
No Turkey fat lady like you
I'm looking for on the internet can not find.
My e-mail address **************
I look forward to your reply.

 
I made a translation to be understood from other sites
I've been translating for understanding from other sites
 
Hi, my English is not good.
I love fat women.
I live in Turkey.
Would you come to Turkey?
How much money you want to give it to you.
Like you don't have the fat lady in Turkey.
I can't find you on the Internet the fat lady.
My email address is ****************
I'm waiting for the answer.


 
Hi, my English is not good.
I love fat women.
I live in Turkey.
Can you just step in to Turkey?
how much to give.
Like you don't have a fat woman in Turkey.
I'm looking for on the Internet as you can not find the fat lady.
My email address is *****************
I'm waiting for your response simple person.
Thats been doing the rounds up and down the country.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 14 June 2014, 12:40:58 am
Quote from: chloe_ on 13 June 2014, 07:12:49 pm
Started out as a normal enquiry, then the off-topic questions started..
"many I ask where your leaving to if leaving [county]"
I said when I'd be away on holiday and when I'd be leaving for definite.

"so are you going away for uni then just been nosey lols also any chance off a few extra picts to get me through tonight till we finally meet ? possible email to me x"
I said no to both and that I don't have any concrete plans for what I'll do next.

"haha no plans you must have some reason to move away and something you want to do ??"
I explained that [county] is an escorting desert and it's hard to make a living here, I want to live in a city and maybe train in massage and doing nails so I can get a part time job in a salon (this may or may not be true, my personal life and day job are nothing to do with my escorting!).

"ah I see fair enough but big cities as im originally from one has lots off cheap European escorts!!! and apartments cost big bucks will be good to have a chat tomorrow with ya and im dout your going to be a escort all your live ...
part time and normal job think is way forward x"

I said "No offence but I can make my own choices, I'll be checking emails tomorrow morning :) xx"

.. Didn't want to tell him to get lost but I'm definitely not going to see him now.. Doing incalls, moving to a city and going full time are big decisions which I didn't ask for his useless advice on. :FF
He seems to think escorts are jobless idiots, doesn't support the idea of escorting being a legitimate career choice and I have no words for the 'cheap Europeans' comments. I think the World Cup has stolen all my usual clients :)
I'd have told him to mind his own beeswax from the off.Very nosey and boundary pushy.
Well heres mine.
Sounded pleasant enough 'Can I book you at 8pm please?' I went through the booking procedure and told him I would text him the address details...as he was putting the phone down 'I'm so hard for you baby pant,pant...'.Booking cancelled!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AlexRa on 14 June 2014, 12:50:04 am
easiest money ever today:

That punter has cancelled last minute last week, he has wasted my evening. Today he's rang again and wanted to book again 3 hrs next week. I've told him - OK, but only if you pay 1/3 today and if you cancel again, you have lost it.
He said OK.

Didn't want to share info about myself, so simply drove down to his place to get cash off him on my way to sunbed.
Got cash, spent few minutes making sure he's happy with my looks and discussed the next week meeting details.

3 hours later got text - cancelled. I've asked if he wants to reschedule.
No, he didn't.

O dear....  :P I must have been scary  8)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 14 June 2014, 01:17:46 am
Quote from: AlexRa on 14 June 2014, 12:50:04 am
easiest money ever today:

That punter has cancelled last minute last week, he has wasted my evening. Today he's rang again and wanted to book again 3 hrs next week. I've told him - OK, but only if you pay 1/3 today and if you cancel again, you have lost it.
He said OK.

Didn't want to share info about myself, so simply drove down to his place to get cash off him on my way to sunbed.
Got cash, spent few minutes making sure he's happy with my looks and discussed the next week meeting details.

3 hours later got text - cancelled. I've asked if he wants to reschedule.
No, he didn't.

O dear....  :P I must have been scary  8)

Must've bottled it
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 16 June 2014, 02:01:07 pm
Email from a guy who just wants me to accompany him into a club because he feels sad going on his own...however I must get him drugs as part of the deal.

I don't even offer outcalls. Let alone drugs.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 16 June 2014, 02:27:00 pm
Had a guy the other night ask to book a bit later than I'd usually offer but I agreed to it anyway as I've got less than 2 weeks left before my month off, he texts asking for an hour later than agreed. I'm reluctant but agree because I've turned down other bookings. He then texts again saying he's got to work later than expected, can we delay by another hour.. I tell him no, the town is an hours drive from mine and I'd like to be in bed before 2am, would he like to rebook for another day? He replies saying he's sorry and didn't know he'd be staying later, doesn't mention rebooking.. Wasted my night.
One of my ex-regs who I really like asked to book at a mid-evening slot but I had agreed to see this TW and it would be unfair to cancel.
I was so annoyed, he wasted my night and I don't believe the working late thing. He probably went out for a few drinks with friends and wanted to stay out longer and thought I'd just turn up at stupid o'clock. :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 16 June 2014, 04:39:46 pm
Thats why I never agree to see a new guy pass 10 pm, as Ive had my share of time wasters plus drunks.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 16 June 2014, 05:30:25 pm
Last appointment is 9pm if it's for the hour with me and only with prior notice as I ain't sitting about all nite waiting on the phone going when I could be doing loads of other things but if someone pre books then I am more than happy to see them up until 10pm x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 16 June 2014, 06:07:20 pm
A client has previously booked before then he texted my phone an hour ago. I then text reply. Then he phoned me saying who is this. I replied with excuse me you rang me. He then hung up. I have no time for silly ping pong games.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 16 June 2014, 06:22:39 pm
Ha ha, almost identical with one older guy Ive seen last week, he called me yesterday asking who I am as he dont remember why he saved my number and who am I  :FF

I politely rememberd him as I have good memory and I knew he is a bit older and might forget things  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 16 June 2014, 11:42:08 pm
Email sent tonight, titled , Ruin my life.

Hi, I am looking for an escort to ring my wife or even meet her and tell her I am seeing escorts, I have 2 kids and a nice house, I will give you all my money if you do this, I want to end up losing everything and sleeping on the streets. Thanks.

Sick c*#t
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 17 June 2014, 12:08:30 am
Can you send him a link to my profile as I will gladly take all this money, depends how much money he has right enough but I am thinking he's fulla shit lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 17 June 2014, 12:44:02 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 16 June 2014, 11:42:08 pm
Email sent tonight, titled , Ruin my life.

Hi, I am looking for an escort to ring my wife or even meet her and tell her I am seeing escorts, I have 2 kids and a nice house, I will give you all my money if you do this, I want to end up losing everything and sleeping on the streets. Thanks.

Sick c*#t

It's a genuine fetish which comes under the "financial domination" or "findom" umbrella. He wants you to dominate him to the point of "ruin". This man probably isn't married/has no kids/lives with his mum anyway.

He's probably a freeloader anyway, had you said "sure, I can do that! It will cost you ?100 before I can take this further" you wouldn't have heard from him again. He's most likely getting his kicks from either 1) receiving abusive replies from escorts telling him off, or 2) discussing the 'details' of how these escorts will ruin him.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 17 June 2014, 12:52:42 am
These financial slaves are almost always fulla shit and want free wank material. Anyone asks me for this and they have to prove themselves first and foremost before we discuss anything by putting money in my bank account, that usually shuts them up. I've yet to find a financial slave who pays lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: caylee_k on 17 June 2014, 02:32:52 am
first text, out of the fucking blue... (to my phone not AW)

"do you do blow job only service?"

my response:

"uhm, hello to you too! i assume you want to make a booking?"

his response:

"i do but i need to know that you can do blow job only service. I don't like to fuck it doesn't get me off, it makes me rather uncomfortable actually so I don't do it I do it with my girlfriend but you're not a girlfriend I'm paying you so I'm not going to fuck you even if you want me to. And I need to know if you can go deep throat, escorts always say they can do deep throat but my cock is very large its very important that you can have a cock deep in your mouth like really, really deep i'm almost nine inches long, yes my cock is very large. yes it is very large I know so if that is too much for you let me know. my girlfriend she said she can do deep throat but she cannot, she is Russian and they lie a lot. A lot even though her mouth is big she cannot do deep throat she gags a lot. It's a huge problem actually. So do you gag a lot? because I don't like that it makes me feel uncomfortable. And i don't like to talk at all, i just want to come in and give you money and you give me deep throat. perhaps it is better if i will give you half up front and if you gag or cannot do deep throat i won't give you the rest."

Needles to say I turned his very generous offer down...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 17 June 2014, 08:17:00 am
I got a financial domination/blackmail request overnight  ::)

Also this:

Hi, hope you are well. I'm Stewart, 38 etc etc etc.

Bit of a strange request for you. I'm looking for some pictures for you to take of yourself, about 20 or so. Various ones of you with toys, playing and such.

The reason being is that there's a sex website I'm on and looking to make a female profile. Hands up, I know it's not a particularly nice thing to do. It's so I can chat with folk where they would think I'm a woman. The profile would be for up in Scotland so nowhere near you.

As I say I know it's not nice but if you would be of taking some pics could you let me know a price.

Thanks for your time,

Stewart x

Looks to me that he's copied and pasted to many different people, somehow he's had his AW profile nearly 10 years and never picked up any feedback (or notes - till now!).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 17 June 2014, 09:23:36 am
Quote from: caylee_k on 17 June 2014, 02:32:52 am
first text, out of the fucking blue... (to my phone not AW)

"do you do blow job only service?"

my response:

"uhm, hello to you too! i assume you want to make a booking?"

his response:

"i do but i need to know that you can do blow job only service. I don't like to fuck it doesn't get me off, it makes me rather uncomfortable actually so I don't do it I do it with my girlfriend but you're not a girlfriend I'm paying you so I'm not going to fuck you even if you want me to. And I need to know if you can go deep throat, escorts always say they can do deep throat but my cock is very large its very important that you can have a cock deep in your mouth like really, really deep i'm almost nine inches long, yes my cock is very large. yes it is very large I know so if that is too much for you let me know. my girlfriend she said she can do deep throat but she cannot, she is Russian and they lie a lot. A lot even though her mouth is big she cannot do deep throat she gags a lot. It's a huge problem actually. So do you gag a lot? because I don't like that it makes me feel uncomfortable. And i don't like to talk at all, i just want to come in and give you money and you give me deep throat. perhaps it is better if i will give you half up front and if you gag or cannot do deep throat i won't give you the rest."

Needles to say I turned his very generous offer down...

What an absolute delusional fuckwit! I'd have told him to deep throat himself if he's that big and told him to fuck off then block him!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 17 June 2014, 09:31:45 am
Quote from: Just An Escort on 17 June 2014, 08:17:00 am
I got a financial domination/blackmail request overnight  ::)

Also this:

Hi, hope you are well. I'm Stewart, 38 etc etc etc.

Bit of a strange request for you. I'm looking for some pictures for you to take of yourself, about 20 or so. Various ones of you with toys, playing and such.

The reason being is that there's a sex website I'm on and looking to make a female profile. Hands up, I know it's not a particularly nice thing to do. It's so I can chat with folk where they would think I'm a woman. The profile would be for up in Scotland so nowhere near you.

As I say I know it's not nice but if you would be of taking some pics could you let me know a price.

Thanks for your time,

Stewart x

Looks to me that he's copied and pasted to many different people, somehow he's had his AW profile nearly 10 years and never picked up any feedback (or notes - till now!).

So basically he's gay and wants to get his jollies off by speaking to men? Creep! And a prime example as to why I don't give any information out through an email or text.

I had a client yesterday email me for a booking with a brand new profile, no feedback and told me that he couldn't phone me for a booking as he had no punting sim but will get one and wanted my address. I politely, really politely told him that I'd be happy to see him on the day he asked for but I cannot send my address nor take a booking over the internet as persoanlly I need to speak to the person before inviting them into my home to engage in this type of service, I explained that I cannot make a decision as to whether I would want to meet with them or not over an email as I have absolutely no idea who I am speaking to. I told him that I would give him my full address on the morning of the appointment but would happily give him a close by landmark if he phoned me.

He told me that he was a member of [a punting forum] and I was to check him out, I am not a member there so I can't check him out (not that it makes any difference, I still need to speak to them) and he told me that he doesn't have any problems getting an address from other escorts via email and he likes to plan his journey so with that in mind, he will find someone else then he BLOCKED ME!!

My procedure is very clear and very simple. Read and phone me for a booking and sound like your the sort of person I want to be alone with in a room, not too much to ask is it? Apparently so!

I'm aware that many escorts take bookings via email or text and that's up to them but it's not how I do it, I think you can tell a lot about someone's voice. Same as if a client phoned an escort and she sounded like the was off her face or completely flakey then it would probably put him off booking her.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 17 June 2014, 09:52:12 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 17 June 2014, 12:44:02 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 16 June 2014, 11:42:08 pm
Email sent tonight, titled , Ruin my life.

Hi, I am looking for an escort to ring my wife or even meet her and tell her I am seeing escorts, I have 2 kids and a nice house, I will give you all my money if you do this, I want to end up losing everything and sleeping on the streets. Thanks.

Sick c*#t

It's a genuine fetish which comes under the "financial domination" or "findom" umbrella. He wants you to dominate him to the point of "ruin". This man probably isn't married/has no kids/lives with his mum anyway.

He's probably a freeloader anyway, had you said "sure, I can do that! It will cost you ?100 before I can take this further" you wouldn't have heard from him again. He's most likely getting his kicks from either 1) receiving abusive replies from escorts telling him off, or 2) discussing the 'details' of how these escorts will ruin him.

Yes I am a Domme and find this fetish disturbing, the whole give me all your money for doing fuck all is something I don't get involved in, you're right he probably lives with his mum and lives off the dole!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 17 June 2014, 12:35:39 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 17 June 2014, 09:52:12 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 17 June 2014, 12:44:02 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 16 June 2014, 11:42:08 pm
Email sent tonight, titled , Ruin my life.

Hi, I am looking for an escort to ring my wife or even meet her and tell her I am seeing escorts, I have 2 kids and a nice house, I will give you all my money if you do this, I want to end up losing everything and sleeping on the streets. Thanks.

Sick c*#t

It's a genuine fetish which comes under the "financial domination" or "findom" umbrella. He wants you to dominate him to the point of "ruin". This man probably isn't married/has no kids/lives with his mum anyway.

He's probably a freeloader anyway, had you said "sure, I can do that! It will cost you ?100 before I can take this further" you wouldn't have heard from him again. He's most likely getting his kicks from either 1) receiving abusive replies from escorts telling him off, or 2) discussing the 'details' of how these escorts will ruin him.

Yes I am a Domme and find this fetish disturbing, the whole give me all your money for doing fuck all is something I don't get involved in, you're right he probably lives with his mum and lives off the dole!

But findommes don't do fuck all, it's actually very time-consuming and mentally draining. It's not at all as easy as being paid just for being admired/worshipped. Much easier to make money by sucking cock, I've found ;D

I find Hardsports and actual physical harm disturbing, but if it's what gets people off then that's their 'problem'. My line is drawn at harming animals though.


EDIT - oops, just realised I've gone OT ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 17 June 2014, 01:03:14 pm
Yes I suppose if you get a serious financial slave it is time consuming and more of a mind control/blackmail fetish, I think most guys that enquire about findom are time wasters and dreamers so I never bother,

To be more specific I am not comfortable with the "Take me shopping" type stuff, just my personal thing, I enjoy the more physical and verbal humiliation x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kellykisses on 17 June 2014, 04:01:08 pm
I've had this recently.

He did show up twice (paid appoints) to discuss how he wanted to be financially ruined to the point of bankrupsy and having to take his own life eventually.... He even asked if I'd assist in this!  :FF

Arranged for his weekly appointments to commence by him paying up front, and yep I haven't heard from him  ::)

They get off on just talking about it in my opinion.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 17 June 2014, 07:45:27 pm
They do get off on just talking about it, that's why I won't talk about it until first payment is in my account x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 17 June 2014, 08:04:48 pm
"Looking for an outcall on fri. For 2 or 3 hours. If you're interested then let me know"
"I'm a nice lad who just wants some clean fun, is there anything you like doing or anything you don't do? Also I'd pay a little extra for a photo upfront so I know what to expect"

I tell him my likes are on profile and no I don't give out photos but link him to past feedback on old account (lots of it saying I have a pretty face).

"Ok, we'll mail me your number and I'll phone or text you about 6 when I finish work and give you my address? Hope to see you then"

I ask him to fill in booking request as I need his address and phone number in advance.

And surprise surprise, he sends me this:
"Sorry don't think I can without a face pic. Someone tried to do this before and they were like in their 40's. Can't be bothered with that hassle again! Hope you understand x"

So basically he was happy to get my number so he could summon me when he felt like it on friday without seeing face pics, but when I wanted to get his details and arrange the booking before giving out my number suddenly he needs a face pic. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 17 June 2014, 08:30:24 pm
Just had a guy asking me if he could film me even if he had to pay an extra fee and that it was for his eyes only? Does anyone actually fall for this? I have lost count in how much porn I have seen online that some random dude has uploaded of his time with an escort!

I told him to ask a girl who advertised this service or ask a girl who shows her face and clearly doesn't worry for her discretion then I blocked him. What an eejit!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 17 June 2014, 08:33:16 pm
Quote from: chloe_ on 17 June 2014, 08:04:48 pm
"Looking for an outcall on fri. For 2 or 3 hours. If you're interested then let me know"
"I'm a nice lad who just wants some clean fun, is there anything you like doing or anything you don't do? Also I'd pay a little extra for a photo upfront so I know what to expect"

I tell him my likes are on profile and no I don't give out photos but link him to past feedback on old account (lots of it saying I have a pretty face).

"Ok, we'll mail me your number and I'll phone or text you about 6 when I finish work and give you my address? Hope to see you then"

I ask him to fill in booking request as I need his address and phone number in advance.

And surprise surprise, he sends me this:
"Sorry don't think I can without a face pic. Someone tried to do this before and they were like in their 40's. Can't be bothered with that hassle again! Hope you understand x"

So basically he was happy to get my number so he could summon me when he felt like it on friday without seeing face pics, but when I wanted to get his details and arrange the booking before giving out my number suddenly he needs a face pic. ::)

I always tell these twats to contact a girl who shows her face then, not rocket science is it? Again, I wonder which discrete girl out there who doesn't show her face would actually do this? The picture could and no doubt would end up absolutely anywhere! Aaahhh I have no time for these guys that can't look at a profile and accept what's on it without pushing boundaries when there are a million other profiles they could choose to see.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 17 June 2014, 08:58:35 pm
Too many to type this week, but I have blocked 4 people on aw today alone for ridiculous emails! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 17 June 2014, 09:39:10 pm
Ive had the same request for face pic yesterday and today, I politely send them to buy my PG  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 17 June 2014, 09:46:18 pm
How about this nutty gem  :FF :FF :FF

I wander. When I was 18 I had the best sex I'd ever had at the time with an Australian girl from Surfers. Before she left to go back - she was staying with her cousins - she told me she was pregnant. Then she said not - that she was joking - she just wanted to see how I reacted. We had already split then for a few months, I'd gone off to Uni I guess not how she wanted. Her 14 year old cousin 6 months months later popped into Sainsbury's - I worked there as a student. I asked how "she was" and was told "she's having a baby and getting married"!

20 years ago I went travelling and I called her parents number - never knowing and wandering if I should call by Surfers. A small girl answered the phone and then called for her nanny. "So you're David are you" her nan said. You know she's married now. I never did call in.

31 ehh. I've travelled a lot and it's a small world - but surely not that small.

So photography and prostitution - hummm any dyslexia? We are great compensators.

Not sure what he is implying but I figure its:

a) Asking in a round about way if I am his daughter or
b) the girl he knocked up because there are not that many Australian women around I must be one of the two
c) 31 ehhh?  I must be lying about my age because I am either his daughter or ex shag
d) and the only reason why I am a prostitute and photographer is because I am Dyslexic. 

and then he added I am not here to solicit you so I sent a message back saying well, I am here to be solicited so stop emailing.
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 17 June 2014, 11:00:22 pm
Quote
and then he added I am not here to solicit you so I sent a message back saying well, I am here to be solicited so stop emailing.

This made me giggle you funny bugger!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 17 June 2014, 11:27:13 pm
Quote from: Vivienne on 17 June 2014, 09:46:18 pm
How about this nutty gem  :FF :FF :FF

I wander. When I was 18 I had the best sex I'd ever had at the time with an Australian girl from Surfers. Before she left to go back - she was staying with her cousins - she told me she was pregnant. Then she said not - that she was joking - she just wanted to see how I reacted. We had already split then for a few months, I'd gone off to Uni I guess not how she wanted. Her 14 year old cousin 6 months months later popped into Sainsbury's - I worked there as a student. I asked how "she was" and was told "she's having a baby and getting married"!

20 years ago I went travelling and I called her parents number - never knowing and wandering if I should call by Surfers. A small girl answered the phone and then called for her nanny. "So you're David are you" her nan said. You know she's married now. I never did call in.

31 ehh. I've travelled a lot and it's a small world - but surely not that small.

So photography and prostitution - hummm any dyslexia? We are great compensators.

Not sure what he is implying but I figure its:

a) Asking in a round about way if I am his daughter or
b) the girl he knocked up because there are not that many Australian women around I must be one of the two
c) 31 ehhh?  I must be lying about my age because I am either his daughter or ex shag
d) and the only reason why I am a prostitute and photographer is because I am Dyslexic. 

and then he added I am not here to solicit you so I sent a message back saying well, I am here to be solicited so stop emailing.

What the hell? Lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 18 June 2014, 10:29:57 am
Some feckless charmer asking me if I would do him a blow job only appointment for ?40 at 4am! Considering my cheapest appointment is ?100 and I don't start work until 10am.... Twat!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 18 June 2014, 11:09:34 am
Quote from: sarahbelle on 18 June 2014, 10:29:57 am
Some feckless charmer asking me if I would do him a blow job only appointment for ?40 at 4am! Considering my cheapest appointment is ?100 and I don't start work until 10am.... Twat!

My cheapest appointment is ?100 aswell and I start at 11am and I get the texts asking what they can get for ?30 aswell, absolute bellends! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 18 June 2014, 02:00:52 pm
I reply with 'Couple of boxes of kleenex and dominos meal deal for afters'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: caylee_k on 18 June 2014, 10:51:46 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 17 June 2014, 09:23:36 am
Quote from: caylee_k on 17 June 2014, 02:32:52 am
first text, out of the fucking blue... (to my phone not AW)

"do you do blow job only service?"

my response:

"uhm, hello to you too! i assume you want to make a booking?"

his response:

"i do but i need to know that you can do blow job only service. I don't like to fuck it doesn't get me off, it makes me rather uncomfortable actually so I don't do it I do it with my girlfriend but you're not a girlfriend I'm paying you so I'm not going to fuck you even if you want me to. And I need to know if you can go deep throat, escorts always say they can do deep throat but my cock is very large its very important that you can have a cock deep in your mouth like really, really deep i'm almost nine inches long, yes my cock is very large. yes it is very large I know so if that is too much for you let me know. my girlfriend she said she can do deep throat but she cannot, she is Russian and they lie a lot. A lot even though her mouth is big she cannot do deep throat she gags a lot. It's a huge problem actually. So do you gag a lot? because I don't like that it makes me feel uncomfortable. And i don't like to talk at all, i just want to come in and give you money and you give me deep throat. perhaps it is better if i will give you half up front and if you gag or cannot do deep throat i won't give you the rest."

Needles to say I turned his very generous offer down...

What an absolute delusional fuckwit! I'd have told him to deep throat himself if he's that big and told him to fuck off then block him!

I just couldn't believe he typed all of it out on a text message! I wonder how long that took? He must have been totally pissed cause it was a fucking WEIRD message!

I seriously hate when I get something like this:

"Hi gorgeous, I love your profile .. and such amazing feedbacks!

I thought I'd tell you a little about me....Well, I'm ***, English, well spoken. I have a degree from **** and I love to read, write.. I'm 6'0 tall, and stocky build. I play ruddy on the weekends. I have a full head of hair, dark brown, no beard. I'm clean shaved on my face and my balls, although I'm naturally slightly hairy all over.

I love sex. I love intimacy. And I love taking my time. I don't want to be rushed... I want things to be slow, natural, intimate...

I'm a kisser - I love slow, deep, intimate, prolonged french kissing., And I love foreplay - everything, from slow gentle caressing your neck, back, legs and body, to full on touching and licking a girl's breasts and pussy. I love it when I can feel a girl shaking right before she comes... I'm massively into masturbation. I love masturbating a girl, both clitoral and vaginal, and I love to see her masturbating herself (.. and I'll gladly do it to me for you to watch too) it's a major fetish of mine...

I hope you're into these things. ......

*** x

Seriously, I don't need to know all of this. You obviously think I'm hot and you want to fuck me. Got it. Didn't need to read all of that. I hate guys that send these long, intricate e-mails about all the things they want to do because I feel like they're just sitting there wanking as they type and they never intend to book they're just getting off on writing it down. I hate getting e-mails with questions like "do you do blow jobs?" "do you do french-kissing?" "can i finger you?" No, you can't do any of those things. I checked them off on my likes list because I thought it would be awesome fun to say I'll do something, get my customer's money, and then get into a huge argument after I do NOTHING on my likes list. They're almost as annoying as the guys that send e-mails with "what's your favorite position?" Uhm yes, in my free time I love to sit here and sext with random strangers for free.

Not surprisingly, after sending a couple messages back and forth, have never heard from the man who loves masterbating.

However, I'll take a long e-mail like that one over one like this any day:

"i want to throw you on the ground like the fcking dirty bitch you are facefuck you so you can taste my dirty cock bitch"

 ::)



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 18 June 2014, 11:19:35 pm
Quote from: caylee_k on 18 June 2014, 10:51:46 pm
However, I'll take a long e-mail like that over one like this any day:

"i want to throw you on the ground like the fcking dirty bitch you are facefuck you so you can taste my dirty cock bitch"


You would? :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kazzle on 18 June 2014, 11:29:10 pm
Quote
"Hi gorgeous, I love your profile .. and such amazing feedbacks!

I thought I'd tell you a little about me....Well, I'm ***, English, well spoken. I have a degree from **** and I love to read, write.. I'm 6'0 tall, and stocky build. I play ruddy on the weekends. I have a full head of hair, dark brown, no beard. I'm clean shaved on my face and my balls, although I'm naturally slightly hairy all over.

I love sex. I love intimacy. And I love taking my time. I don't want to be rushed... I want things to be slow, natural, intimate...

I'm a kisser - I love slow, deep, intimate, prolonged french kissing., And I love foreplay - everything, from slow gentle caressing your neck, back, legs and body, to full on touching and licking a girl's breasts and pussy. I love it when I can feel a girl shaking right before she comes... I'm massively into masturbation. I love masturbating a girl, both clitoral and vaginal, and I love to see her masturbating herself (.. and I'll gladly do it to me for you to watch too) it's a major fetish of mine...

I hope you're into these things. ......

*** x

He wrote exactly the same thing to me and there's me thinking I was special!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: caylee_k on 18 June 2014, 11:31:52 pm
Quote from: amy on 18 June 2014, 11:19:35 pm
Quote from: caylee_k on 18 June 2014, 10:51:46 pm
However, I'll take a long e-mail like that over one like this any day:

"i want to throw you on the ground like the fcking dirty bitch you are facefuck you so you can taste my dirty cock bitch"


You would? :)

^lol typo.... much prefer that the long one over ones about dirty smelly cocks!

Quote from: Kazzle on 18 June 2014, 11:29:10 pm
Quote
"Hi gorgeous, I love your profile .. and such amazing feedbacks!

I thought I'd tell you a little about me....Well, I'm ***, English, well spoken. I have a degree from **** and I love to read, write.. I'm 6'0 tall, and stocky build. I play ruddy on the weekends. I have a full head of hair, dark brown, no beard. I'm clean shaved on my face and my balls, although I'm naturally slightly hairy all over.

I love sex. I love intimacy. And I love taking my time. I don't want to be rushed... I want things to be slow, natural, intimate...

I'm a kisser - I love slow, deep, intimate, prolonged french kissing., And I love foreplay - everything, from slow gentle caressing your neck, back, legs and body, to full on touching and licking a girl's breasts and pussy. I love it when I can feel a girl shaking right before she comes... I'm massively into masturbation. I love masturbating a girl, both clitoral and vaginal, and I love to see her masturbating herself (.. and I'll gladly do it to me for you to watch too) it's a major fetish of mine...

I hope you're into these things. ......

*** x

He wrote exactly the same thing to me and there's me thinking I was special!  ;D

LOL! Did he book you? He sent me 6 questions about organizing a booking and then when it came down to "so what time on Thursday?" he never responded.

Today is apparently the day of assfucks... in the last hour I got a text from a guy offering to let me live in his flat if I will fuck him whenever he wants, keep getting repeated messages from some guy on AW begging me to let him piss on my face even though I told him the first time I won't do that (had to block him now), and now I've gotten three phone calls from a man trying to tell me that I'm doing to get STDs from this job and it's too dangerous and I need to find a man to take care of me (this was AFTER he asked me for an hour outcall at his hotel tonight and I turned him down, had to block him as well).

What the fuck is wrong with people???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 18 June 2014, 11:38:34 pm
It's New Profile Syndrome. It passes, you'll be relieved to know (normally as soon as there's new-er profiles:)).


Quote from: caylee_k on 18 June 2014, 11:31:52 pm
Quote from: amy on 18 June 2014, 11:19:35 pm
Quote from: caylee_k on 18 June 2014, 10:51:46 pm
However, I'll take a long e-mail like that over one like this any day:

"i want to throw you on the ground like the fcking dirty bitch you are facefuck you so you can taste my dirty cock bitch"


You would? :)

^lol typo.... much prefer that the long one over ones about dirty smelly cocks!


Well I didn't see smelly, but yes, given the choice I'd take Mr Get-On-With-It over Mr Got-Lost-On-The-Way-To-Match.com any day of the week, if for no reason other that that the first one didn't give me the dry boak :D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 19 June 2014, 01:11:32 am
'Hi will you do anal bareback.I'm clean and won't come in you'
Oh fuck the fuck off will you!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 19 June 2014, 01:58:39 am
what an idiot lol
at least you wont get pregnat from bareback anal =))
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 19 June 2014, 10:53:33 am
Quote
at least you wont get pregnat from bareback anal =))

But risk of pregnancy isn't the main reason girls don't do bareback - and I think anal is a bigger risk for STIs than vaginal sex anyway.

Reminds me of a guy who asked if I'd have sex with him with no condom because he'd had a vasectomy so was 'safe' - but as I'm on the pill I don't even consider pregnancy a risk factor when I tell people I don't ever do unprotected sex!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 19 June 2014, 10:56:22 am
Quote from: hotblondie28 on 19 June 2014, 01:58:39 am
what an idiot lol
at least you wont get pregnat from bareback anal =))
I have tons of this since I agreed to a free advert on backpage...never again.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 19 June 2014, 11:08:09 am
Quote from: Just An Escort on 19 June 2014, 10:53:33 am
Quote
at least you wont get pregnat from bareback anal =))

But risk of pregnancy isn't the main reason girls don't do bareback - and I think anal is a bigger risk for STIs than vaginal sex anyway.

Reminds me of a guy who asked if I'd have sex with him with no condom because he'd had a vasectomy so was 'safe' - but as I'm on the pill I don't even consider pregnancy a risk factor when I tell people I don't ever do unprotected sex!

I was joking :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 19 June 2014, 11:27:17 am
Quote from: hotblondie28 on 19 June 2014, 11:08:09 am


I was joking :)

ha, yeah I got that after I'd posted, lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 19 June 2014, 11:54:31 am
I wouldn't mind but I don't do anal or bareback so not sure why he thought I'd think fuck it lets do both!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 19 June 2014, 03:18:57 pm
Not one specific booking fuckup, but... I seem to be blessed with a lot of people who apparently can't read the "outcall only" in my advert. And if they do read it, they still push for me to make an exception. Not even saying that I share one room flat with a MALE room mate seems to deter them! o.O Oh gods, why.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 19 June 2014, 04:55:00 pm
Can you tell me your prices and services?

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 19 June 2014, 06:03:15 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 19 June 2014, 04:55:00 pm
Can you tell me your prices and services?

 :FF

I get this but I do have an ad in a local mag which doesn't have details, its when they say they saw my profile on AW or any site that my services and rates are clearly advertised I get peed off.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 19 June 2014, 06:17:34 pm
I feel like screaming down the phone when they ask this! Would you go in Tesco and ask can you tell me what you sell and how much everything is?

It is a losing battle though, we will always get asked this and depending on what mood I'm in I might be polite or I might not! Xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SHANNON on 19 June 2014, 06:20:44 pm
So this guy texts at first he wants you to eat dog food and says he will pay ?4000 job never pulls of
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 19 June 2014, 07:14:37 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 19 June 2014, 06:17:34 pm
I feel like screaming down the phone when they ask this! Would you go in Tesco and ask can you tell me what you sell and how much everything is?

It is a losing battle though, we will always get asked this and depending on what mood I'm in I might be polite or I might not! Xxx

Me too, I just think that if they don't know the most basic thing about me then they know nothing else about me either and I haven't got time for that x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 19 June 2014, 08:14:37 pm
Some idiot text today 'what is your AW profile'  so I text back just some random made up name.  I have visions of him trying to find me.  Also a lot of 'I am at the station texts today' to which I always respond with, that's nice. Enjoy! x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 19 June 2014, 08:25:56 pm
Quote from: Vivienne on 19 June 2014, 08:14:37 pm
Some idiot text today 'what is your AW profile'  so I text back just some random made up name.  I have visions of him trying to find me.  Also a lot of 'I am at the station texts today' to which I always respond with, that's nice. Enjoy! x

I get this a lot Vivienne, asking who I am, I don't bother replying x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 19 June 2014, 09:19:31 pm
Just had some little twat phone me for a booking tonight and I said to him that I wasn't available at this time of nite without prior notice, my last appointment for the hour is 9pm but only with prior notice and that I don't see people who don't read my profile as it causes me all sorts of problems if they don't.

He replies by saying chill out, I only looked at your pictures. Am a 27 year old, good looking guy looking for some no strings horny sex cause my gf is away.

I hung up and he text me asking if I have any friends he could shag so I just blocked him.

Now can you imagine how disappointed he would be of he turned up expecting all sorts of horny sex when I ain't interested in daft wee boys walking in thinking they are some sort of stud, if he'd bothered to read my profile he would know that I am not that type of escort. Of course I would get the blame for not being what he expected.

And even if I did have escort friends, what makes him think I would tell him to do one and then send him to my friends door?

Absolute clueless eejits!

Anyone else get their cage rattled at this time of nite by guys like that or is it just me with a short fuse? Lol.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 19 June 2014, 09:58:08 pm
Its abit like when you can't do a booking and they ask you if you can recommend any one else.I find it kind of rude and lazy and to be honest why would I send them to someone else?Sort of like asking British gas if they can hook you up with Npower!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 19 June 2014, 11:55:37 pm
Quote from: bibi on 19 June 2014, 09:58:08 pm
Its abit like when you can't do a booking and they ask you if you can recommend any one else.I find it kind of rude and lazy and to be honest why would I send them to someone else?Sort of like asking British gas if they can hook you up with Npower!
Maybe I'm a bit naive but sometimes I get people contact me who are staying for 1 night near me and haven't seen escorts before, found my website on google and want to book but I'm busy.
I'll send them in the direction of AW and tell them to use the search on there. It's not losing me any money and better than them sitting in their hotel rooms lonely. I suppose it's different as they haven't asked me, I'd probably find that a bit rude.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 20 June 2014, 12:04:26 am
Quote from: BBW_Cora on 13 June 2014, 10:29:07 pm
Yeah I saw he had forwarded it to about 20 others aswell  ;D the last line had me in stitches too
How did you see it forwarded to others Cora?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 20 June 2014, 12:05:14 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 13 June 2014, 08:29:30 am
46 year old man emails me saying.........

You free for a bj at 10 tonight?

Learn some effing manners  ::)

Why do some of them think that just because we're escorts that, that sort of bold one liner makes us want to meet them?
Out of interest, what's his age got to do with it PP x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 20 June 2014, 12:12:14 am
Quote from: MissKylie on 20 June 2014, 12:04:26 am
Quote from: BBW_Cora on 13 June 2014, 10:29:07 pm
Yeah I saw he had forwarded it to about 20 others aswell  ;D the last line had me in stitches too
How did you see it forwarded to others Cora?

Because there was a bunch of other email addresses on the email he sent.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 20 June 2014, 12:18:15 am
Oh right, I thought it was an adultwork email.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 June 2014, 01:55:13 am
Quote from: chloe_ on 19 June 2014, 11:55:37 pm
Quote from: bibi on 19 June 2014, 09:58:08 pm
Its abit like when you can't do a booking and they ask you if you can recommend any one else.I find it kind of rude and lazy and to be honest why would I send them to someone else?Sort of like asking British gas if they can hook you up with Npower!
Maybe I'm a bit naive but sometimes I get people contact me who are staying for 1 night near me and haven't seen escorts before, found my website on google and want to book but I'm busy.
I'll send them in the direction of AW and tell them to use the search on there. It's not losing me any money and better than them sitting in their hotel rooms lonely. I suppose it's different as they haven't asked me, I'd probably find that a bit rude.
Referring them to Adultwork is different to what I was talking about. I meant guys actually asking me the names or numbers of other ladies who might be working. I have no problem telling them to get back on google but I think its cheeky trying to get one escort to hook them up with others they know.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 20 June 2014, 01:57:40 am
Quote from: MissKylie on 20 June 2014, 12:05:14 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 13 June 2014, 08:29:30 am
46 year old man emails me saying.........

You free for a bj at 10 tonight?

Learn some effing manners  ::)

Why do some of them think that just because we're escorts that, that sort of bold one liner makes us want to meet them?
Out of interest, what's his age got to do with it PP x

That you'd think a 46 year old man would have learnt how to speak to people by that age and not spoke like a complete twat! That's the sort of email I'd expect from someone in their early 20's. He's old enough to be someone's grandad.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mimi_ on 20 June 2014, 02:55:47 am
Quote
That you'd think a 46 year old man would have learnt how to speak to people by that age and not spoke like a complete twat! That's the sort of email I'd expect from someone in their early 20's. He's old enough to be someone's grandad.

Blimey PP! Grandad? Yes I suppose so technically...however, 46 is far from aged and frankly, a person can across as a twat regardless of their age!  ;D x
 
(fixed quote)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 20 June 2014, 03:33:58 am
Quote from: mimi_licious on 20 June 2014, 02:55:47 am
Blimey PP! Grandad? Yes I suppose so technically...however, 46 is far from aged and frankly, a person can across as a twat regardless of their age!  ;D x

I agree what you meant by it, but yeah grandad lol! I guess I dont really think of clients as "old" until they are hitting their 60s i guess. Id probably date someone that was 46 (At the oldest) if they were attractive and still physically fit and we obviously had stuff in common...which might be doubtful!

(fixed quote)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlueDomme on 20 June 2014, 03:38:31 am
Quote from: bibi on 20 June 2014, 01:55:13 am
Quote from: chloe_ on 19 June 2014, 11:55:37 pm
Quote from: bibi on 19 June 2014, 09:58:08 pm
Its abit like when you can't do a booking and they ask you if you can recommend any one else.I find it kind of rude and lazy and to be honest why would I send them to someone else?Sort of like asking British gas if they can hook you up with Npower!
Maybe I'm a bit naive but sometimes I get people contact me who are staying for 1 night near me and haven't seen escorts before, found my website on google and want to book but I'm busy.
I'll send them in the direction of AW and tell them to use the search on there. It's not losing me any money and better than them sitting in their hotel rooms lonely. I suppose it's different as they haven't asked me, I'd probably find that a bit rude.
Referring them to Adultwork is different to what I was talking about. I meant guys actually asking me the names or numbers of other ladies who might be working. I have no problem telling them to get back on google but I think its cheeky trying to get one escort to hook them up with others they know.
Really? When people ask for services I don't offer I point them in the direction of friends I know who do - for instance I don't offer pussy worship but I know a local Domme who does so I give them her website. Of course it's different if you're in direct competition...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 20 June 2014, 09:04:12 am
Ladies, I do NOT class a 46 year old man or woman as old BUT I do expect more from them in the sense where I get an email asking if am free for a bj. It's a very immature way to speak IMO so when I clicked on his profile, I was shocked to see that he was a grown and suppose to be, mature man. But yes technically speaking a 46 year old is old enough to be a grandparent. My grand parents were 40 when I was born x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 20 June 2014, 09:18:31 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 20 June 2014, 09:04:12 am
Ladies, I do NOT class a 46 year old man or woman as old BUT I do expect more from them in the sense where I get an email asking if am free for a bj. It's a very immature way to speak IMO so when I clicked on his profile, I was shocked to see that he was a grown and suppose to be, mature man. But yes technically speaking a 46 year old is old enough to be a grandparent. My grand parents were 40 when I was born x

I agree PP.  Manners, as well as courtesy cost nothing. 

With age comes experience, well in most cases, but some guys are just devoid of manners and courtesy, just like this guy in question.  I wouldn't have seen him either if he had spoken to me in that manner.  Perhaps I would have said sharply "I beg your pardon" and then refused to take the booking.

If he asked why I would tell him why.  Rude people do not deserve our services.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 20 June 2014, 09:24:30 am
Exactly sweetie, I wouldn't be available for a bj even of he was polite about it as it was out of my working hours and as you all know, you book time not spacific services. The guy was a total moron, I blocked him after telling him to find some manners if he ever expects a positive response.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 June 2014, 10:36:10 am
Quote from: BlueDomme on 20 June 2014, 03:38:31 am
Quote from: bibi on 20 June 2014, 01:55:13 am
Quote from: chloe_ on 19 June 2014, 11:55:37 pm
Quote from: bibi on 19 June 2014, 09:58:08 pm
Its abit like when you can't do a booking and they ask you if you can recommend any one else.I find it kind of rude and lazy and to be honest why would I send them to someone else?Sort of like asking British gas if they can hook you up with Npower!
Maybe I'm a bit naive but sometimes I get people contact me who are staying for 1 night near me and haven't seen escorts before, found my website on google and want to book but I'm busy.
I'll send them in the direction of AW and tell them to use the search on there. It's not losing me any money and better than them sitting in their hotel rooms lonely. I suppose it's different as they haven't asked me, I'd probably find that a bit rude.
Referring them to Adultwork is different to what I was talking about. I meant guys actually asking me the names or numbers of other ladies who might be working. I have no problem telling them to get back on google but I think its cheeky trying to get one escort to hook them up with others they know.
Really? When people ask for services I don't offer I point them in the direction of friends I know who do - for instance I don't offer pussy worship but I know a local Domme who does so I give them her website. Of course it's different if you're in direct competition...
Its not about competition either. I just think its really cheeky my other escorting friends also think so. I also don't feel happy 'sending' clients to ladies when I don't even know the client, for all I know they could be a twat and the other girl might not thank me for it. I am not here to play pass the client. I don't run an agency.In the past when I have suggested other girls that might be available I have then had the bloke go oh she's not my type do you know anyone else...nooo not into that.If they managed to find my number they can get back on the pc and find someone else in my mind.No probs arranging duos or suggesting how to use the search function on adultwork to find what they want but I am not there to give out numbers or names. They found me they can find other ladies and sort it out with them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 June 2014, 10:38:04 am
double post!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 20 June 2014, 12:06:41 pm
Just had a caller wanting hour booking all sounded fine until he said hope u dont mind my girfriend will be waiting in the car for me oh she knows im seeing an escort.!
Like f**k !
I just said no way not happy with that at all he didn't get my incall location just put phone down.
Some people !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 June 2014, 12:32:13 pm
Quote from: Erotic flower on 20 June 2014, 12:06:41 pm
Just had a caller wanting hour booking all sounded fine until he said hope u dont mind my girfriend will be waiting in the car for me oh she knows im seeing an escort.!
Like f**k !
I just said no way not happy with that at all he didn't get my incall location just put phone down.
Some people !
Total prank call why would he even need to mention someone is in his car....totally bored of idiots the past 2 days.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 20 June 2014, 12:43:52 pm
Message on Aw yesterday : Hi Im afraid I can't make our appointment at 4pm I might be able to make 8pm if your free though.

My reply: Your appointment was cancelled anyway as you didn't call to confirm between 10am & 10:30am as told.

Would've had a shock if he had turned up at 4  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 20 June 2014, 02:05:15 pm
Good for you Chrissie . These guys need to be put in their place.  Think the world revolves around them, NOT
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 June 2014, 02:07:30 pm
Had the same nitwit text a few times asking if I am available.Have always told him what times I can do and everytime he rings and asks if I can do earlier...ffs!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Saucepot on 20 June 2014, 02:55:50 pm
Had a caller last night just as England game kicked off, I'm a massive fanatical football fan, so told him wasn't available all eve as I was watching the game. He then says well what about after the football then!!! I say no as it doesn't finish till late but have some availability tomorrow if he would like to make a booking. He says what about at half time!!!!!! Seriously I'm going to watch first half, dash to the door, 15 minutes later kick him out and then get back to the match!!!!!! Plus I'm sitting there snuggled on sofa with my other half (he knows what I do) in my pjs, no make up on already settled down to watch. I tell him that If he wants to book call back tomorrow. He says but I might not feel horny tomorrow!!!!! So I said goodbye and turned off phone!!!! Should've turned off phone beforehand.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FayeBloore on 20 June 2014, 04:20:14 pm
I have never felt the urge to post one of my rude or ridiculous requests/emails from a client, until today! This one tickled me good and proper- so much so, I would like to share it-

So basically on my AW blog I had mentioned something about a broken fence- extremely boring, mundane I know- but it's amazing what drivvle people will read when it has a photo of tits uploaded with it and I got this email a day or two afterwards;

hi can i cum and do ur fence then after can i fuck you i am a hot 30 year old coventry lad looking for some sexy time with a hot girl like yourself and can i cum all over you xxx


LOL
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: caylee_k on 20 June 2014, 05:07:13 pm
I don't know why but everyone is calling and asking what my rates and my services are today? This just annoys me especially as my rates are a bit higher than other girls, so if they don't already know what they are they usually come up with some excuse which is their way of saying they're too high. How can you NOT see my booking price they are like an inch away from my phone number on AW? And why would you take the time to make a call before you skim through my services?

Oh, and I got this lovely caller today:

"Hello?"

"Hi I wanted to make a booking"

"Alright well you need to call me back because you number is coming up as withheld and I don't make bookings with someone calling from a withheld number"

"Oh OK well are you in Birmingham"

"Yes I'm at a hotel"

"OK well can I just come by then?"

"Uhm no you can't just come by whenever you want, you need to make a booking on a specific time and day, I need a name, a phone number to reach you at, and I need you to make a booking request on AW so I can make sure you have positive feedback"

"well I don't want to do all that can't I just come by when I want"

I just hung up. Yes, I am here at your service, fuck my other clients, fuck the fact that you won't even give me your name... just show up at my hotel whenever you want and fuck me, I'm here at your behest!  ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 June 2014, 06:02:04 pm
'Whereabouts you live?'
'I WORK in Leeds City Centre as per my profile.'
'Oh so not in London then.'
I mean wtf???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 20 June 2014, 06:06:51 pm
Others will disagree with me but I can't possible understand why anyone would entertain a private number? That person obviously doesn't want you to know who they are or so that you can chase them up with calls/texts when they waste your time. I rarely get people phone me from a private number because they know they will be completely wasting their time with me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 20 June 2014, 06:26:06 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 20 June 2014, 06:06:51 pm
Others will disagree with me but I can't possible understand why anyone would entertain a private number? That person obviously doesn't want you to know who they are or so that you can chase them up with calls/texts when they waste your time. I rarely get people phone me from a private number because they know they will be completely wasting their time with me.

I do answer withhelds just to tell them they need to call from a non withheld and I have had quite a few actually call back.

Some don't actually know their number is withheld.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 20 June 2014, 06:52:18 pm
Quote from: bibi on 20 June 2014, 06:02:04 pm
'Whereabouts you live?'
'I WORK in Leeds City Centre as per my profile.'
'Oh so not in London then.'
I mean wtf???
they look at multiple profiles become confused in the end !
Got a call from Cork Ireland asking me when im coming over I asked how on earth he found me in Hertfordshire ?!
They modify or advance their searches from the thousands of ladies to choose.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 20 June 2014, 07:50:28 pm
Quote from: Erotic flower on 20 June 2014, 06:52:18 pm
Quote from: bibi on 20 June 2014, 06:02:04 pm
'Whereabouts you live?'
'I WORK in Leeds City Centre as per my profile.'
'Oh so not in London then.'
I mean wtf???
they look at multiple profiles become confused in the end !
Got a call from Cork Ireland asking me when im coming over I asked how on earth he found me in Hertfordshire ?!
They modify or advance their searches from the thousands of ladies to choose.

I agree, guys look at so many profiles they forget who is who, like kids in a sweet shop x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 June 2014, 10:04:52 pm
Boils down to not reading again doesn't it?You would think 'Bibi of Leeds' would give it away and they wouldn't bother ringing.Arses.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: caylee_k on 21 June 2014, 04:21:47 am
Got this at 4:15 AM... I had just fallen asleep when his call and text woke me up:

"Hey how are you can you send me address please i coming now ok thanks."

Sure, no need to wait for an invite, just wake me up at 4am and come on over (even though you have no idea where I am?)....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 21 June 2014, 08:28:17 am
Quote from: caylee_k on 21 June 2014, 04:21:47 am
Got this at 4:15 AM... I had just fallen asleep when his call and text woke me up:

"Hey how are you can you send me address please i coming now ok thanks."

Sure, no need to wait for an invite, just wake me up at 4am and come on over (even though you have no idea where I am?)....
you mean you were not awake and ready at that time !!!  they thinkwe all sit up  night day sexually aroused for the callers don't we ladies NOT  lol !! ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 21 June 2014, 09:05:12 am
At 3am 'Hi Bibi....can you do a half hour at 3?'

I answered this morning stating my work hours and that I am not awake taking bookings at that sort of time plus it was 3am when he sent the text.
He replied saying he meant 3 this afternoon and sorry to cause offence but he had just got in from work...so why not text at a reasonable hour if its for later on...prat.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 21 June 2014, 09:30:29 am
*what road is your service on*? via email just now,  ::)
must get the  postcode for local police station one of these days lol !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: caylee_k on 21 June 2014, 05:03:17 pm
Quote from: Erotic flower on 21 June 2014, 08:28:17 am
Quote from: caylee_k on 21 June 2014, 04:21:47 am
Got this at 4:15 AM... I had just fallen asleep when his call and text woke me up:

"Hey how are you can you send me address please i coming now ok thanks."

Sure, no need to wait for an invite, just wake me up at 4am and come on over (even though you have no idea where I am?)....
you mean you were not awake and ready at that time !!!  they thinkwe all sit up  night day sexually aroused for the callers don't we ladies NOT  lol !! ::)

They think it's like ordering a damn pizza... just call up and will arrive in 30 mins. The fact they think think we're just laying around all night with our hair and make up perfectly done in sexy lingerie waiting to be fucked annoys me almost as much as the fact that they think we'll just book ANYONE, it doesn't matter who you are, you can come on over!

Got my first rape fantasy request today... he wants me to dress up like an 11 year old school girl and pretend he is my babysitter who is molesting me. I told him to fuck off.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kinkyboots on 22 June 2014, 01:31:38 am

Text comes through on Tuesday.

Him: "Hiya can i make an appointment for Thursday please?"
Me: "I will be available on Thursday but you will need to call that morning. I don't accept bookings by text"
Him: "Ok babe i'll ring you on Tuesday, I've never done anything like this before so am really nervous lol hope thats ok"
Him: "Kinkyboots what time is best for you on Tuesday?"
Him: "Hiya did you get my message? what is the best time to book on tuesday? I'm really nervous about our scheduled meeting though because i've never done anything like this before"
Me: "Like i said i don't accept bookings by text. There is no need to be nervous, i am a friendly approachable person. Please call me on the day if you want to book"
Him: "Thats what they all say though ha"
*Then he sends the above message another two times*

Bare in mind he said he's never done 'anything like this before' and is completely new, so how would he know "what they all say" ?

An hour later, another text:

Him: "Hiya kinkyboots, i'm just too nervous to go through with our scheduled meet, i'm too scared, sorry just thought i should let you know"

Not that i took his inquiry seriously to begin with, as i'd already put a note on his number so i wouldn't answer if he called on Thursday. Twat
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 22 June 2014, 07:28:53 am
Quote from: Erotic flower on 21 June 2014, 09:30:29 am
*what road is your service on*? via email just now,  ::)
must get the  postcode for local police station one of these days lol !!!

Oh I've done that one.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 22 June 2014, 12:10:41 pm
Got a call at 8am this morning from a guy who admitted he'd been sniffing coke since yesterday afternoon,
He wanted an outcall within next hour, I said I don't "party" he said "I won't be able to get it up anyway"

Why do so many punters think we are all coke heads!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 23 June 2014, 03:07:56 pm
I have a special offer on at the moment of ?100 for the hour.

Arsehole phones up wanting an appointment for tomorrow, I take the appointment then he asks if I have any special offers on?

Me: What do you mean?

Him: Can I have money off?

Me: I have already got an offer running at the moment.

Him: Yes I know, can I have more money off?

Me: FUCK RIGHT OFF!

Phone down and block!

I never actually say fuck off to them on the phone, I always just hang up but this one pissed me right off so I actually told him to fuck off!

You give some people and inch and they take a mile!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissLarissa on 24 June 2014, 09:11:17 am
And here i was, complaining it was quiet lol, it seems my prayers have been answered! Received this via text


"Hi baby how much is just sex 20 min an i have had the snip so cant make babys an im very clean so how much for sex no condom i can send u a pic of it if u want"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 24 June 2014, 10:22:22 am
Quote from: MissLarissa on 24 June 2014, 09:11:17 am
And here i was, complaining it was quiet lol, it seems my prayers have been answered! Received this via text


"Hi baby how much is just sex 20 min an i have had the snip so cant make babys an im very clean so how much for sex no condom i can send u a pic of it if u want"

Oh bless! "please look at my cock, please!" :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Saucepot on 24 June 2014, 12:33:23 pm
I just love the "I need to let you know that my cock is really massive"!!!!!
Have they been going round comparing??
Have they been eyeing up other blokes in the toilets or gym and making notes??
Do they spend an evening with their mates and a few tape measures??
And what do they class as massive??
We all know that when blokes go fishing that the fish they caught was actually half the size they say it was, is that the same as when they are describing the size of their cocks?????

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 24 June 2014, 10:10:03 pm
By text this evening: "Show me a picher of you . Im playing with my dick and it will go up all your holes. Love daniel"

Then 2 mins after I told him that it wasn't a sex chat line I got this from a different number:

"Hi i hope to be in your area later this week and wud like to see u i am a young bi girl with very little sexual experience and have never been with an escort before. Wud u see me? Debbie x"

So, assuming 'Debbie' to be the same person as 'Daniel' I said I don't see single girls and have had no reply from that number.

But then from 'Daniel' I got:

"Can I be your girlfrend please"

I think maybe he forgot which number he was supposed to be using to pretend to be 'Debbie'...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 24 June 2014, 11:21:30 pm
Debbie has been doing the rounds.Last time Debbie texted and said she could not speak cos she was with her mam.
I have just had a shitty day.
Prank call one was a guy with a pile of money and a pile of condoms and would I come party with 6 or 7 other probably fantasy escorts he had booked.
Bellend 2 insisted on texting shit for 30 mins and when he did ring expected to see me in 15 mins time.He later texted wanting to see me at 10pm.I finish at 9pm.
I then had a guy book me very short notice he reckoned he was near to my work apartment and wanted 30 mins.
He then didn't answer his phone when I rang him back to direct him.When he did answer he was utterly stupid then got short with me because his phone incall volume wasn't working properly.Offered to text him nope he didn't want that.Got him in after 20 mins faffing and he decided he then didn't have time for 30 mins and would I give him a quickie.I lost it and showed him the door.
And then a barrage of silly texts from a bloke who wants an hour tomorrow asking about every bloody thing on my profile.
Seems to be a fair few wankers around today.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kazzle on 24 June 2014, 11:30:12 pm
Quote
By text this evening: "Show me a picher of you . Im playing with my dick and it will go up all your holes. Love daniel"

Mine was politer than yours, I was woken up with: "Hi, would you please upload some more pics to your gallery. Thanks" - sent at 3:23am. As if I was going to crawl out of bed to upload some more photos he could wank over ! ::)

Still that'll teach me to forget to turn my phone off at night.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 25 June 2014, 09:38:41 am
Quote from: bibi on 24 June 2014, 11:21:30 pm
Debbie has been doing the rounds.Last time Debbie texted and said she could not speak cos she was with her mam.
I have just had a shitty day.
Prank call one was a guy with a pile of money and a pile of condoms and would I come party with 6 or 7 other probably fantasy escorts he had booked.
Bellend 2 insisted on texting shit for 30 mins and when he did ring expected to see me in 15 mins time.He later texted wanting to see me at 10pm.I finish at 9pm.
I then had a guy book me very short notice he reckoned he was near to my work apartment and wanted 30 mins.
He then didn't answer his phone when I rang him back to direct him.When he did answer he was utterly stupid then got short with me because his phone incall volume wasn't working properly.Offered to text him nope he didn't want that.Got him in after 20 mins faffing and he decided he then didn't have time for 30 mins and would I give him a quickie.I lost it and showed him the door.
And then a barrage of silly texts from a bloke who wants an hour tomorrow asking about every bloody thing on my profile.
Seems to be a fair few wankers around today.

I had a Debbie recently too and I am in Glasgow! Sad git, whoever it is x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: caylee_k on 25 June 2014, 11:00:07 pm
I had a guy try and book me today who refused to give me his name! First off he annoyed me because he just called and said "are you available?" I don't know why this bugs me so much, but it really does-- is it so much to ask for you to say "hello, my name is X, hope you're well today. i would like to make a booking with you and was wondering when you're available? I was hoping for x." Apparently so! I certainly don't want to have a 5 minute conversation about something random, I just don't like getting "are you available?"

Anyway we decided on a time and I asked what his name was and he said he wanted to be anonymous and I said well sorry I can't book you then and he got all huffy and said why does it matter, and I said well there has to be a mutual level of trust here, if I'm going to give you my address and have sex with you you need to give me your name! He got sooo pissy with me I just said I couldn't book him and hung up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kinkyboots on 26 June 2014, 12:01:45 am

New account on adultwork created today, emails me.

Him: "Hi are you available today"
Me: "Unfortunately not, sorry but i am tomorrow and the rest of the week"
Him: "Ok no problem, i am quite shy and I've never really done this before so bare with me haha Don't suppose you could send me a pic of your face could you?"

So i sent him a picture of the exorcist girl, didn't get a reply after that.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 26 June 2014, 12:33:24 am
I usually charge ?100 for half an hour, I know it's expensive but I prefer hour long bookings or longer and it makes sense to me to see 2 guys in a day instead of 4 since I set myself a daily target as I am sure most escorts do, anyway......I have a special offer on at the moment where I am charging ?100 for the hour so I am no longer offering half hour appointments at all and it says all this on my profile.

Anyway just got an email from a guy saying how much he liked my profile and could he see me one afternoon for half an hour for ?50

Now I know that may be some girls half hour rate but I'd never fuck a guy for that kinda money and not to mention the effort I make to be presentable etc for my clients, not a chance.

It's offensive enough when they ask for a discount but half my original fee? And when I am clearly not even doing half hour appointments. Fuck sake my hourly rates cheap enough just now.

Anyway it's after midnight, I am tired and that's not the kinda email I wanted to read so I told him to F OFF and then I blocked him!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 26 June 2014, 01:00:18 am
Quote from: caylee_k on 25 June 2014, 11:00:07 pm
I had a guy try and book me today who refused to give me his name! First off he annoyed me because he just called and said "are you available?" I don't know why this bugs me so much, but it really does-- is it so much to ask for you to say "hello, my name is X, hope you're well today. i would like to make a booking with you and was wondering when you're available? I was hoping for x." Apparently so! I certainly don't want to have a 5 minute conversation about something random, I just don't like getting "are you available?"

Anyway we decided on a time and I asked what his name was and he said he wanted to be anonymous and I said well sorry I can't book you then and he got all huffy and said why does it matter, and I said well there has to be a mutual level of trust here, if I'm going to give you my address and have sex with you you need to give me your name! He got sooo pissy with me I just said I couldn't book him and hung up.
What's weird about this one is that he wasn't even sharp enough to think of a fake name!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 26 June 2014, 01:53:15 am
Call from phone box.

'Hi is this Bibi?'
'Yes'
'My cousin Jimmy gave me your number (no idea who he is on about and don't really care)..are you available tonight?'
'No sorry'
'Well you're a fucking useless bitch then aren't you?'

Not surprised he has to pay to get a woman to touch him really. ::)
'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Grumpy Cow on 26 June 2014, 03:01:47 pm
Well, I once booked in an Anony Mouse...   ;D 

Seriously though, they call from a number and could be giving you any name so it's not a huge biggie for an incall.  Even call them Mr Cash.  Obviously, a totally different issue for an outcall for which I will need full name etc
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 26 June 2014, 03:06:46 pm
Agree with Grumpy cow.They don't really need to give a name.To be honest I rarely ask,I got bored of all the Daves and Johns in my phone.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 26 June 2014, 03:11:31 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 26 June 2014, 12:33:24 am
I usually charge ?100 for half an hour, I know it's expensive but I prefer hour long bookings or longer and it makes sense to me to see 2 guys in a day instead of 4 since I set myself a daily target as I am sure most escorts do, anyway......I have a special offer on at the moment where I am charging ?100 for the hour so I am no longer offering half hour appointments at all and it says all this on my profile.

Anyway just got an email from a guy saying how much he liked my profile and could he see me one afternoon for half an hour for ?50

Now I know that may be some girls half hour rate but I'd never fuck a guy for that kinda money and not to mention the effort I make to be presentable etc for my clients, not a chance.

It's offensive enough when they ask for a discount but half my original fee? And when I am clearly not even doing half hour appointments. Fuck sake my hourly rates cheap enough just now.

Anyway it's after midnight, I am tired and that's not the kinda email I wanted to read so I told him to F OFF and then I blocked him!
Best just to reply with 'As you can see from my profile I am not offering 30 min bookings at the moment'.No need to drop the F Bomb.It sets you up for flak really.
If you are that tired don't read your emails.We all know its not cool to ask for discounts so no need for a comment about what other girls charge.I do 50 for 30 mins.So what?I wouldn't be happy to be asked for less than what I charge.We all get plonkers best to press delete or answer politely but firmly then block.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Grumpy Cow on 26 June 2014, 03:45:51 pm
And now I got to agree with Bibi!  Excuse us two for a moment peeps while we virtually pat each other?s backs and exchange high fives?  ;D

This was a fun thread to exchange daft and wonderful moments, some bizarre, surreal and often hilarious.  I lost count how many times PP kvetches on it about someone daring to call her at the wrong time with a wrong price.  We get it, it?s annoying but for moolah?s sake just don?t rise to it and don?t let yourself be so easily provoked!  To repeatedly tell guys to F? Off is a recipe for prolonged abusive exchanges.  You are goading people into it.  You need to wise up a little and use bit more common sense.  Sooner or later we will be reading about some guy really losing the plot and escalating his behaviour after you dissed him back.  A smart escort either ignores a ridiculous price or replies like Bibi suggested.  You already dealing with someone either clueless or totally deluded asking for massive discounts, do you really think antagonising such a guy is make your own life easier.  A smart professional business woman does not put herself at unnecessary risk by provoking further abuse.  You need to find an outlet or something outside escorting to not be in a constant state of being so wound up.  It?s not good for you long term and you really are putting yourself at unnecessary risk  ::)   
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 26 June 2014, 04:05:48 pm
Have to agree with Bibi & GC.

PP: Don't let these idiots get to you, as Bibi says refer them back to your profile, if they keep on then just block them.

By lowering yourself to their limit, you are chancing them leaving a bad review somewhere (like this guy did), or as Bibi said someone turning violent.

Also turn off your work phone and don't look at your work emails after your working hours are finished, as your just causing yourself unneeded stress.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosa on 26 June 2014, 05:00:51 pm
Clients will ask and so long as they are polite, then a polite answer is all that's required.

Guys/potential clients and even current clients will chance their arm, as do customers of all businesses. Doesn't mean you are under any obligation to accept that offer.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 26 June 2014, 05:53:54 pm
Lady's I agree that I have dealt with this badly and shouldnt have nipped at him although I am still annoyed that he told stories without telling the full story but such as life.

I told someone to fuck off cause they offended me, hardly outing a client or holding someone hostage.

I have more than been punished for telling him to F off with the shit I got today from a bunch of unknowns so lesson learnt.

Let's hope that nobody ever tells anyone to fuck off ever as it's clearly the worst thing you can do in the world.

Bibi please don take offence, it was just the fact that ?50 is half what I usually charge so it's like someone offering you ?25.

Remember we're all different, some people have a nippy personality like I do when I think someone's been rude, I am rude straight back. Other people just let it go over their head. I need to learn to let things go over my head.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 26 June 2014, 06:08:50 pm
Its not the worst thing in the world we are more thinking of you and your stress levels.Turn your phone and laptop off after hours.You can always save and block the numbers or emails in the morning when you aren't tired.
We have all been there and I have used the f bomb from time to time and then felt bad because I have stooped to an idiots level.We are in a customer related job and it does nobody any good to get so wound up.He may have been under the impression that you normally do 30 mins for 60 so to him it wasn't that cheeky but he was a crass moron for asking really.
I don't believe you meant anything offensive but saying you wouldn't fuck anyone for 50 makes it sound like girls who do are somehow not as choosy and speaking for myself I know I am lol.
Anyway try and relax and remember phone and lappy away after 10pm!x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Grumpy Cow on 26 June 2014, 06:42:06 pm
PP I don't post very often and certainly ignore many posts by many people, not just yours.  I don't let forum or other online stuff get to me that much any more.  And I appreciate you need to vent on here.  But if you get yourself riled all the time and are antagonistic, you can put yourself at risk.  And it can long term up and up your stress levels.  You can chose to of course ignore my point and not take it on board.  Your prerogative.  But when you post on a public forum, you got to respect and allow others to post their viewpoints.  Even if you don't agree with me, I wanna point out the risks of what you are doing to others reading it, especially those new to this work, to make them aware that it can be risky to have a short fuse with guys being kinda in the public eye and potentially vulnerable if someone takes umbrage and decides to go after you.  It's so easy to get new Sim cards and new email accounts etc.   

For every short term satisfaction of telling someone to F... off or other aggressive interaction with someone contacting you, you are potentially risking some vendetta were you got more to loose in terms of business, peace of mind etc than just perhaps try to not let these guys get to you.  It's frustrating and of course can wind you up and make you tense.  I wasn't being sarky when I suggested finding an outlet for all that pent-up aggression.  Maybe kick box or do whatever, kick a pillow.  Sooner or later you risk getting into a slanging match with some real nutcase.  I am not a meek scared person btw just feel it's wiser to make working as safe as possible.  And that includes not antagonising people wherever possible.  The price offered or charged is totally irrelevant.  It's about how you react or better still don't even respond to it.  I don't do half hours and charge more because I have built up some regulars prepared to pay it.  And of course some guys baulk at my prices.  I let it bounce off me and  few seconds later it's forgotten.  Totally agree yet again with Bibi, don't answer the phone at stupid o'clock if it winds you up.  Most of us see it as a daytime job but many people still think of it as "ladies of the night".  If you have the phone switched off on silent or turned off, then they can't disturb you.         
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 26 June 2014, 06:50:49 pm
Right, that's all sorted out then. Can we please stop picking each other to bits in the most tedious way imaginable, before I give up altogether and go and jump off something high? This is completely off topic and moreover, it's reached the point of being almost painful to read (and it's getting more so the worthier it gets, however laudable the advice might be).

I posted a couple of months ago about trying to stay within the original spirit of this thread, and now I'm doing it again; it's supposed to be the World Championships, so can we please stop posting the email/text equivalents of the England team and stick to the genuine contenders. If I posted here every time a punter asked to work outside my hours, see him for less than my normal rates or sent a stupid text message because he was pissed and looked at a titty picture I'd never earn a penny, because I wouldn't have time.

Enough, if for no reason other than that the futility of it's making me cringe. Can somebody please have a root about in their AW inbox and find a message about somebody wanting to be rolled about in Quorn, or something.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 26 June 2014, 07:43:29 pm
Just received this belter, I stopped reading it half way through as it was hurting my eyes.

Hi hunnie, As this is the first time I've came across you, I had no choice to go else where on here and boy it was the biggest disappoint I've had ever, arrived at the door, looked like she had jus woke up no make up no sexy lingerie, stockings or heels as requested but a pair of fluffy pink slippers and a pink gown, told me to go straight into her room no greeting at the door no kiss on the cheek or a cuddle, nothing. So we get into the room and I sat down on the bed, handed over the money and she said take your clothes off and lie down their, I said yes madam and done so thinking this is more like a sentence than a girlfriend experience, no oral without and kissed like a duck once or twice I actually said to her im finished after about 5mins of being their and left. I was expecting something more like I come to the door with flowers and wine its opened by a sexy lady wearing sexy black lingerie with the stockings and stiletto heels like in your pics with some pink lippy with the matching pink nails or even red or a sexy colour that suits your skin tone, doors opened a kiss and a cuddle straight away to make it feel like your coming to see your gf, you hold my hand and take me to your room, you kiss me with some more with some passion and suddenly stop and say get your ass in the shower lol so I have a quick shower, come out your lying siping on wine on the bed waiting for me, you tell me to come sit on the bed, so im sitting their with a towel wrapped around me and you then start kissing me as if you want me and sit over me whilst kissing me, you make me ly down and slowly go into a 69 position fully clothed (I think its sexier and more memorable when you 've got your lingerie and heels on) and down on me with a condom just for a short while and I play with you as you do, then you spin around and start kissing me again with some passion and tongue and slip a condom on me and use me however you liked, you fucking me and then get me to fuck you to make you cum while you kiss me till we both cum and are feeling all fuzzy and warm inside lol.. hope that's not too much to ask for or if that's no good to you, but I would remember and recognise a experience like that until I kicked the bucket! hope ive not scared you away, will be glad to send you pic to see me first, im not that bad looking and always take care of my appearance xx Jay
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Grumpy Cow on 26 June 2014, 08:37:46 pm
Bwahahaha  I re-read that about 3 times to make sense of it.  Initially, I thought he was complaining that you had opened the door wearing a pair of fluffy pink slippers and a pink gown.  Thought interesting mebbe that's why the Pink Princess moniker ;D  Kinda sounded like a true girlfriend experience  lol  Anyway, when are you meeting lovely Jay?  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 26 June 2014, 08:44:42 pm
Never lol, I just blocked him WITHOUT telling him to fuck off LOL  :D x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Grumpy Cow on 26 June 2014, 08:46:35 pm
Hahaha  You're just too choosy Missy!   ;D x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 26 June 2014, 08:47:03 pm
Hahahahaha, I've just read the end bit about how us cumming together will make us feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Just HAS to be a winde up  :D

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 26 June 2014, 08:50:31 pm
Quote from: Grumpy Cow on 26 June 2014, 08:46:35 pm
Hahaha  You're just too choosy Missy!   ;D x
I definitely am really choosy. I've had a few really horrible situations and dangerous ones with clients when I first kind of started and didn't know what to look out for or listen out for in a potential client. I seen people that I wouldn't dream of seeing now and it landed me getting robbed twice, attacked and I don't know how many times I have been blackmailed so it makes me on edge and super selective. I have security now but it still only takes seconds for something really scary to happen when alone with a stranger.

I just don't know how you girls do it without getting so anxious about the unknown.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 26 June 2014, 09:05:28 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 26 June 2014, 08:44:42 pm
Never lol, I just blocked him WITHOUT telling him to fuck off LOL  :D x
Yay!!Haha!!Ee dear I feel all warm and fuzzy after reading that email or is it queasiness...always getting them mixed up ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 26 June 2014, 09:29:13 pm
 ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 26 June 2014, 09:48:48 pm
A guy has booked me for a weeks time, very polite and rather posh on the phone so all good, got a text from him yesterday

"Hi, can't wait to see you, I'm really horny now, am wearing fishnets and my cock is hard, will you allow me to ring you as I have an hour free? I want you to tell me what you are going to do to me and how you will use me when I see you. I will bring you a nice bottle of red wine for the booking"

I offer a Domme service so the fishnets etc doesn't shock me.

I replied.

"I am a hooker darling, I don't offer phone chat, I take payment in sterling not wine, see you next week"

I would have let it go and put it down to feeling horny etc but he has text me 5 times today telling me how hard his cock is, what knickers he is wearing, asking if my vagina is wet (his words), what my piss tastes like, will my boyfriend fuck him, will I shit in his mouth (I don't do hard sports)

I have politely cancelled and blocked! Not because I'm shocked just he is getting on my fu**ing nerves! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 26 June 2014, 11:16:33 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 26 June 2014, 05:53:54 pm
Lady's I agree that I have dealt with this badly and shouldnt have nipped at him although I am still annoyed that he told stories without telling the full story but such as life.

I told someone to fuck off cause they offended me, hardly outing a client or holding someone hostage.

I have more than been punished for telling him to F off with the shit I got today from a bunch of unknowns so lesson learnt.

Let's hope that nobody ever tells anyone to fuck off ever as it's clearly the worst thing you can do in the world.

Bibi please don take offence, it was just the fact that ?50 is half what I usually charge so it's like someone offering you ?25.

Remember we're all different, some people have a nippy personality like I do when I think someone's been rude, I am rude straight back. Other people just let it go over their head. I need to learn to let things go over my head.
If someone offered me half my half hour rate for a half hour booking then I too would of probably told them to fuck off! It depends how they came across in their email really, if it was just a one liner asking that then yeah you clearly haven't read anything and fuck off! If they politely introduced themselves and asked if any kind of discount was available, they would get a more pleasant but still firm response. That doesn't mean I have a bad attitude in general, I just don't put up with any bollocks.

If you don't like half hour bookings much then you really shouldn't offer them all together. I charge ?80 for half hour and ?120 for the hour and I'm happy with that. The deal your offering and your half hour not being available is not very clear on your profile though, as it's in a separate tab and I would of made certain bits in bullet points and bold, we all know guys hardly read anything most of the time!

It is funny how these guys only tell half the story isn't it? It's very common, but of course "It's the nasty prossie with the bad attitudes problem!" They have no idea what we put up with on a regular basis LOL!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 26 June 2014, 11:33:12 pm
Once again, back on topic, please. If this has to continue, take it to PM.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 26 June 2014, 11:46:58 pm
Quote from: amy on 26 June 2014, 11:33:12 pm
Once again, back on topic, please. If this has to continue, take it to PM.
Sorry Amy, didn't see your other post.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mimi_ on 27 June 2014, 12:04:57 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 26 June 2014, 08:44:42 pm
Never lol, I just blocked him WITHOUT telling him to fuck off LOL  :D x

Glad you're feeling better PP  :)

To be fair I know it's hard to retain a sense of humour sometimes, especially when things are not going so well! I had a moment during a booking the other day which belongs on the gross thread  :o :o but it's over now and I can (almost) smile about it again now.

Your Jay sounds like a right catch  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: caylee_k on 27 June 2014, 12:42:30 am
Quote from: Grumpy Cow on 26 June 2014, 03:01:47 pm
Well, I once booked in an Anony Mouse...   ;D 

Seriously though, they call from a number and could be giving you any name so it's not a huge biggie for an incall.  Even call them Mr Cash.  Obviously, a totally different issue for an outcall for which I will need full name etc

It's important to me to have a name, I need to have something to save in my phone-- that's a large part of it, I have so many different numbers in my missed call lists and different texts going on with clients-- and something to call him when he comes to the flat, it would be weird to me to sit there and not be able to say a name. I've never had another client refuse, perhaps they gave me fake names, dunno and it doesn't really matter to be honest,  it was more his attitude and refusing to give me a name at all it was insulting, just felt very disrespectful. He also refused to put a booking through on AW so there was no way to screen him at all and I just wasn't comfortable with some totally random guy coming to where I work everyday and where two other escorts also work, it's important to me to screen carefully since I don't want some nut job coming to the flat and bothering them or getting them in trouble. And there was just something about it that bothered me, like you expect me to trust you with an address to where I will be every day, open my body up to have sex with you, stick your dick in my mouth and kiss you but you won't trust me/let me know your name? Maybe that's what bothered me the most? I don't know but something about it just didn't sit right with me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kinkyboots on 27 June 2014, 01:53:18 am

Email received this evening from a bloke on Adultwork.

Him: "Hi, How are you? I have a common fantasy about a woman making me cream my pants in public and wondered if it is a fantasy you could help me fulfil? I'll be honest, I'm not too sure exactly how something like that might work. But if it is something you might be interested in maybe we could discuss it further? Hope to hear from you soon"

..(Just out of curiosity i responded asking what he had in mind)..

Him: "Thanks for getting back to me. I have had some ideas, and would love to hear what you think, or hear some of your own?
1) A daytime GFE in a busy park for an hour where we get a little carried away touching.
2) A daytime meet somewhere busy like a shopping centre where we meet as 'strangers' with a lot of inappropriate touching and bum rubbing.
3) An evening meet as 'strangers' in a bar or club where we get carried away on the dance floor"

He's got feedback so for all i know he could be genuine but wtf lol, imagine that. No thanks i value my discretion  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 27 June 2014, 01:56:33 am
He emailed me too as well. I said no as I don't do anything in public!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kinkyboots on 27 June 2014, 02:09:29 am

What a coincidence, i suspect he's doing the rounds with it  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 27 June 2014, 09:01:05 am
Quote from: kinkyboots on 27 June 2014, 01:53:18 am

Email received this evening from a bloke on Adultwork.

Him: "Hi, How are you? I have a common fantasy about a woman making me cream my pants in public and wondered if it is a fantasy you could help me fulfil? I'll be honest, I'm not too sure exactly how something like that might work. But if it is something you might be interested in maybe we could discuss it further? Hope to hear from you soon"

..(Just out of curiosity i responded asking what he had in mind)..

Him: "Thanks for getting back to me. I have had some ideas, and would love to hear what you think, or hear some of your own?
1) A daytime GFE in a busy park for an hour where we get a little carried away touching.
2) A daytime meet somewhere busy like a shopping centre where we meet as 'strangers' with a lot of inappropriate touching and bum rubbing.
3) An evening meet as 'strangers' in a bar or club where we get carried away on the dance floor"

He's got feedback so for all i know he could be genuine but wtf lol, imagine that. No thanks i value my discretion  ;D

I had this email too and I am in Glasgow so he must be doing his rounds. I just told him that he should read profiles and he might find someone more suited to his tastes as I don't even do outcalls nevermind being in public with a client making him cream his pants lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rubyruby on 27 June 2014, 11:36:06 am
Quote from: kinkyboots on 27 June 2014, 01:53:18 am

Email received this evening from a bloke on Adultwork.

Him: "Hi, How are you? I have a common fantasy about a woman making me cream my pants in public and wondered if it is a fantasy you could help me fulfil? I'll be honest, I'm not too sure exactly how something like that might work. But if it is something you might be interested in maybe we could discuss it further? Hope to hear from you soon"

..(Just out of curiosity i responded asking what he had in mind)..

Him: "Thanks for getting back to me. I have had some ideas, and would love to hear what you think, or hear some of your own?
1) A daytime GFE in a busy park for an hour where we get a little carried away touching.
2) A daytime meet somewhere busy like a shopping centre where we meet as 'strangers' with a lot of inappropriate touching and bum rubbing.
3) An evening meet as 'strangers' in a bar or club where we get carried away on the dance floor"

He's got feedback so for all i know he could be genuine but wtf lol, imagine that. No thanks i value my discretion  ;D

I've also had this, twice now
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kinkyboots on 27 June 2014, 04:39:34 pm

Email on adultwork from an account with no feedback.
   
Him: Hey kinkyboots. I hope you've had a profitable month, cos I'll be calling by in the next week or two to collect what I'm owed, and you're up to 800 now. You might have been able to talk me round last time, but no excuses any more I'm afraid. Produce the goods or you and that kid of yours can hit the bricks. My lads are well used to chucking out rubbish. Get to work. Will be in touch. Mark.


I saw a bloke a few months ago who wanted to do a role play where he was my landlord and i was a young tenant who was in debt with my rent, you can figure the rest out yourselves lol. I didn't like the bloke when he booked in the first place because he seemed to have an air of superiority about him and i thought he spoke to me like shit so i didn't want him back anyway, but wtf is that crap about. How rude and disrespectful to send such a thing out of the blue with no pre warning or discussions! It took me a few minutes to come to the conclusion that it may be that same guy, but still, this is definitely not how to book an escort :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 27 June 2014, 09:00:01 pm
Quote from: kinkyboots on 27 June 2014, 04:39:34 pm

Email on adultwork from an account with no feedback.
   
Him: Hey kinkyboots. I hope you've had a profitable month, cos I'll be calling by in the next week or two to collect what I'm owed, and you're up to 800 now. You might have been able to talk me round last time, but no excuses any more I'm afraid. Produce the goods or you and that kid of yours can hit the bricks. My lads are well used to chucking out rubbish. Get to work. Will be in touch. Mark.


I saw a bloke a few months ago who wanted to do a role play where he was my landlord and i was a young tenant who was in debt with my rent, you can figure the rest out yourselves lol. I didn't like the bloke when he booked in the first place because he seemed to have an air of superiority about him and i thought he spoke to me like shit so i didn't want him back anyway, but wtf is that crap about. How rude and disrespectful to send such a thing out of the blue with no pre warning or discussions! It took me a few minutes to come to the conclusion that it may be that same guy, but still, this is definitely not how to book an escort :FF

I had a client very similar to this, he wanted a blackmail role play but the emails he was sending me were so real it scared the shit out of me x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 27 June 2014, 09:02:58 pm
A guy has been trying to book me all week and I was too busy to see him, he called on and off all day asking if any no shows etc which their wasn't .

He then text me and asked if he could "pop round for a coffee just to meet me" really! I said no of course, he then said I'll only stay 10 minutes, how much is that?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 27 June 2014, 09:38:52 pm
Quote from: kinkyboots on 27 June 2014, 01:53:18 am

Email received this evening from a bloke on Adultwork.

Him: "Hi, How are you? I have a common fantasy about a woman making me cream my pants in public and wondered if it is a fantasy you could help me fulfil? I'll be honest, I'm not too sure exactly how something like that might work. But if it is something you might be interested in maybe we could discuss it further? Hope to hear from you soon"

..(Just out of curiosity i responded asking what he had in mind)..

Him: "Thanks for getting back to me. I have had some ideas, and would love to hear what you think, or hear some of your own?
1) A daytime GFE in a busy park for an hour where we get a little carried away touching.
2) A daytime meet somewhere busy like a shopping centre where we meet as 'strangers' with a lot of inappropriate touching and bum rubbing.
3) An evening meet as 'strangers' in a bar or club where we get carried away on the dance floor"

He's got feedback so for all i know he could be genuine but wtf lol, imagine that. No thanks i value my discretion  ;D

Haha this guy messaged me too and my response was exactly that! haha halfwit x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 28 June 2014, 09:42:45 am
Received a phone call at 4.08am then a text at 4.09am saying......

Booking 6pm to 7pm

Not even a hello or anything. Blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 28 June 2014, 11:35:22 am
Woke up to this:

"70 an hours anal bareback now"

Wonder if he was stood outside my house waiting!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 28 June 2014, 01:04:42 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 28 June 2014, 09:42:45 am
Received a phone call at 4.08am then a text at 4.09am saying......

Booking 6pm to 7pm

Not even a hello or anything. Blocked.


These calls/texts really do my tits in.  Why can they not wait until a respectful time and contact and then stand a chance.  Obviously thinking with their little brain and at that time either stoned or bladder end or both.  apart from all that ....disrespectful twat!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosa on 28 June 2014, 01:22:54 pm
I had a text at 3am, terrible text speak cn I see u in nxt hour.

Umm, no.

Also had a phone call this morning from a man asking for a booking, fully booked I said "ok do you have any more pictures I can wank over, I'm having a wank now".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 28 June 2014, 01:34:57 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 28 June 2014, 11:35:22 am
Woke up to this:

"70 an hours anal bareback now"

Wonder if he was stood outside my house waiting!

Charming! :o Whatever happened to "please" ??

I LOLed at your last sentence ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 28 June 2014, 01:38:55 pm
It's twat central out there right now. And you know why? Payday weekend. While this may be great for earnings potential, it also means the twattish behaviour comes out because they've all gone and blown a chunk of wages on drink/drugs.

Got a message last night: "wow, someones got a bit fat!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosa on 28 June 2014, 01:51:51 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 28 June 2014, 01:38:55 pm
It's twat central out there right now. And you know why? Payday weekend. While this may be great for earnings potential, it also means the twattish behaviour comes out because they've all gone and blown a chunk of wages on drink/drugs.

Got a message last night: "wow, someones got a bit fat!"

Yes just had a phone call from someone asking for 'details', who was already in my phone as "already had details many times". He's been phoning me every 3-6 months for I think 5 years now, acts as if we've never spoken before.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 28 June 2014, 02:21:59 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 28 June 2014, 01:04:42 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 28 June 2014, 09:42:45 am
Received a phone call at 4.08am then a text at 4.09am saying......

Booking 6pm to 7pm

Not even a hello or anything. Blocked.


These calls/texts really do my tits in.  Why can they not wait until a respectful time and contact and then stand a chance.  Obviously thinking with their little brain and at that time either stoned or bladder end or both.  apart from all that ....disrespectful twat!

I had same lat night, texts at 4.20 am, the guy said he just finished work and wants a booking for tommorrow. Why he should wait for a resonable hour? We dont need to sleep, we are not human beings, just prossies.

Idiots
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 28 June 2014, 04:53:16 pm
Quote from: Rosa on 28 June 2014, 01:51:51 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 28 June 2014, 01:38:55 pm
It's twat central out there right now. And you know why? Payday weekend. While this may be great for earnings potential, it also means the twattish behaviour comes out because they've all gone and blown a chunk of wages on drink/drugs.

Got a message last night: "wow, someones got a bit fat!"

Yes just had a phone call from someone asking for 'details', who was already in my phone as "already had details many times". He's been phoning me every 3-6 months for I think 5 years now, acts as if we've never spoken before.

I get a guy exactly like this! Literally says "can I have some details please" I saved his number under details, could be same guy?

What the hell does he expect me to say? Recite my whole profile! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ClaireJayne on 28 June 2014, 04:57:29 pm
I just had some dick text and complain AW was flooded with foreign girls and he is happy to find a lovely British girl .... one problem, I am foreign lol  :FF

One dick asked me to quote for 2 hours, said prices are on the profile he said no they are not, arrhhh yes they are. Anyway gave him my rate for 2 hours and he said that's to high this after telling me I have the best profile on AW ....  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlueDomme on 28 June 2014, 06:04:30 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 28 June 2014, 01:38:55 pm
It's twat central out there right now. And you know why? Payday weekend. While this may be great for earnings potential, it also means the twattish behaviour comes out because they've all gone and blown a chunk of wages on drink/drugs.

Got a message last night: "wow, someones got a bit fat!"
RUDE
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 28 June 2014, 06:09:16 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 28 June 2014, 01:38:55 pm
It's twat central out there right now. And you know why? Payday weekend. While this may be great for earnings potential, it also means the twattish behaviour comes out because they've all gone and blown a chunk of wages on drink/drugs.

Got a message last night: "wow, someones got a bit fat!"

Seriously like your name doesn't give a way the fact your not some skinny minnie, what a troll.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 29 June 2014, 12:31:40 am
Had this today.

'hi sexy foxy just seen you on a/w i wood like to see you and
get hot and dirty on you lets do a good 69 and we can come at the same time then a 99 you can put your legs over your shoulders if you like you can tie me to you or the bed then sit on top of me and have a good piss over me if your up for it get back to me as i say you can get right dirty on me lots of love stuart xxx . ps i can just see you on your back and legs open for me and all wet .'

What the eff is a 99? I thought that was an ice cream? Ha.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 29 June 2014, 01:03:42 am
Quote from: martine21 on 29 June 2014, 12:31:40 am
Had this today.

'hi sexy foxy just seen you on a/w i wood like to see you and
get hot and dirty on you lets do a good 69 and we can come at the same time then a 99 you can put your legs over your shoulders if you like you can tie me to you or the bed then sit on top of me and have a good piss over me if your up for it get back to me as i say you can get right dirty on me lots of love stuart xxx . ps i can just see you on your back and legs open for me and all wet .'

What the eff is a 99? I thought that was an ice cream? Ha.

Yeah a 99 is a ice cream, he's talking crap. And who the hell squats over a guy and pisses all over them and their bed? I mean really? They out no thought into their stupid emails.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 29 June 2014, 01:13:42 am
I know PP *Sighs* I know  ::)

Idiot. Ha x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: caylee_k on 29 June 2014, 02:04:54 am
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 28 June 2014, 01:04:42 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 28 June 2014, 09:42:45 am
Received a phone call at 4.08am then a text at 4.09am saying......

Booking 6pm to 7pm

Not even a hello or anything. Blocked.


These calls/texts really do my tits in.  Why can they not wait until a respectful time and contact and then stand a chance.  Obviously thinking with their little brain and at that time either stoned or bladder end or both.  apart from all that ....disrespectful twat!

My phone was blowing up last night from midnight until 6am, 4am was primetime-- yeah, it's 4am come on over. I HATE guys that text at that time and if you call and wake me up you're gonna get my wrath! Some guy did just that at 5:05 and I was so annoyed from people calling that I answered and went off at him and he sounded terrified. Normally I turn it off after midnight and back on when I wake up but I had to use it as an alarm so was stuck leaving it on all night....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 29 June 2014, 02:30:05 am
Quote from: BlueDomme on 28 June 2014, 06:04:30 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 28 June 2014, 01:38:55 pm
It's twat central out there right now. And you know why? Payday weekend. While this may be great for earnings potential, it also means the twattish behaviour comes out because they've all gone and blown a chunk of wages on drink/drugs.

Got a message last night: "wow, someones got a bit fat!"
RUDE

Ha, I don't care - yep, I got fat! Did the sky fall in? Does my fat affect his life? Do I force him to look at my profile and pics?

Closet fat lovers  8)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 29 June 2014, 02:37:51 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 29 June 2014, 02:30:05 am

Closet fat lovers  8)

Lol  ;D x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 29 June 2014, 09:35:02 am
Quote from: caylee_k on 29 June 2014, 02:04:54 am
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 28 June 2014, 01:04:42 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 28 June 2014, 09:42:45 am
Received a phone call at 4.08am then a text at 4.09am saying......

Booking 6pm to 7pm

Not even a hello or anything. Blocked.


These calls/texts really do my tits in.  Why can they not wait until a respectful time and contact and then stand a chance.  Obviously thinking with their little brain and at that time either stoned or bladder end or both.  apart from all that ....disrespectful twat!

My phone was blowing up last night from midnight until 6am, 4am was primetime-- yeah, it's 4am come on over. I HATE guys that text at that time and if you call and wake me up you're gonna get my wrath! Some guy did just that at 5:05 and I was so annoyed from people calling that I answered and went off at him and he sounded terrified. Normally I turn it off after midnight and back on when I wake up but I had to use it as an alarm so was stuck leaving it on all night....

You might be able to turn the call/message ringer off without affecting the alarm, I know mine works when on silent.

Try putting on silent and then setting the alarm for say 5 minutes time and see if it goes off
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosa on 29 June 2014, 09:39:48 am
My mobile alarm still works when it's turned off - turns itself on at alarm time.

Are you sure yours can't do this? Or at least use your personal phone for alarm.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: StawberryFields on 29 June 2014, 10:55:39 am
I'm currently on a 3 month holiday (uni student and don't work when I'm home with parents). Getting pissed that I seem to be getting more interest over the last month than I do when I'm working, but I'm not around for another 2 months. Getting bored of repeating the same email - as my profile says MULTIPLE TIMES I am not available until September. Please come back then. It's in bold caps at the top and bottom as well as mentioned in the main body of the text. I'd vaguely understand if it was just casually mentioned, but it's the most eye catching thing there is - bold caps at the top and bottom!!! /endrant.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 29 June 2014, 11:18:39 am
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 29 June 2014, 01:03:42 am
Quote from: martine21 on 29 June 2014, 12:31:40 am
Had this today.

'hi sexy foxy just seen you on a/w i wood like to see you and
get hot and dirty on you lets do a good 69 and we can come at the same time then a 99 you can put your legs over your shoulders if you like you can tie me to you or the bed then sit on top of me and have a good piss over me if your up for it get back to me as i say you can get right dirty on me lots of love stuart xxx . ps i can just see you on your back and legs open for me and all wet .'

What the eff is a 99? I thought that was an ice cream? Ha.

Yeah a 99 is a ice cream, he's talking crap. And who the hell squats over a guy and pisses all over them and their bed? I mean really? They out no thought into their stupid emails.

xx

Errrr I do! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 29 June 2014, 11:29:07 am
You piss on people on your own bed? Ok lol. That must be a stinky bed!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 29 June 2014, 11:34:22 am
I offer a Domme service so watersports are a common request and no of course I don't piss on my bed PP, i have a bed encased in PVC so everything is waterproof and disinfected afterwards,

What's not normal to you PP is perfectly normal to others and vice versa
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pink~Princess on 29 June 2014, 12:34:00 pm
Nia, if you look at my post again......I said who squats over a client and pisses on their bed!

I've commented twice now about the bed being the issue NOT the client!

I know that watersports is a common service and although it's not something I offer (purely out if
of stage fright) and I am not bothered about what other people offer.

You misread BOTH my posts!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 29 June 2014, 01:39:57 pm

What happened Pink~Princess? I see you are just a    Guest now?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: caylee_k on 29 June 2014, 02:51:07 pm
Quote from: Rosa on 29 June 2014, 09:39:48 am
My mobile alarm still works when it's turned off - turns itself on at alarm time.

Are you sure yours can't do this? Or at least use your personal phone for alarm.

That's what I normally do but my personal is a 5 and my work is a 4 and I only had the charger for the 4.. when I turn it off the alarm won't come on, and I can turn the sound off but sometimes the vibration still wakes me up.

Anyway I had my charger last night and turned it on today to read this:

sent as 4:49 AM
Can you come to me now. NOW

2 minutes later
Fine I am on my way to see you

10 minutes later
Just got off the tube

15 minutes later
fucking slag where are you. i will tell the police you have been a bad girl if you do not let me in right now. am banging on your front door.

20 minutes late
have told your neighbors you suck dick for money.

lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 29 June 2014, 03:25:40 pm
Quote from: caylee_k on 29 June 2014, 02:51:07 pm
Quote from: Rosa on 29 June 2014, 09:39:48 am
My mobile alarm still works when it's turned off - turns itself on at alarm time.

Are you sure yours can't do this? Or at least use your personal phone for alarm.

That's what I normally do but my personal is a 5 and my work is a 4 and I only had the charger for the 4.. when I turn it off the alarm won't come on, and I can turn the sound off but sometimes the vibration still wakes me up.


You should be able to turn off the vibrations too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 29 June 2014, 03:47:02 pm
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 29 June 2014, 12:34:00 pm
Nia, if you look at my post again......I said who squats over a client and pisses on their bed!

I've commented twice now about the bed being the issue NOT the client!

I know that watersports is a common service and although it's not something I offer (purely out if
of stage fright) and I am not bothered about what other people offer.

You misread BOTH my posts!

Was more annoyed you implied I was dirty! As I said of course I don't piss on a bare mattress and sheets, we all know how unbelievably clean you are! Why would you think I'd see clients in a room that stank of stale urine .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 30 June 2014, 05:49:04 pm
My blood is literally boiling! I have had a landline calling me on and off for a week, I never answer them and it says so clearly on my profile,

I check my emails about 20 mins ago and I got this charmer.

"Thanks for rejecting my calls all week, it's clear you have no patience or clue about this business, your loss"

Oh my fu*@*#g god! I am fuming! The guy has 0 feedback new profile so would like to think I know a little more than him about my business,

I must confess I phoned him, not something I'd usually do but couldn't stop myself, won't bore you all with what I said but it wasn't polite, emailed him back also, what a jumped up prick x

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 30 June 2014, 10:16:29 pm
Hi

Anyone received an email from a guy on AW that says he is very shy so would it be ok if he turns up wearing a mask???

Ive had the same email a couple of times over the years and its the same wording on both of them.

Who would allow that?

Weirdo..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 01 July 2014, 12:35:08 am
Lol tell him yeah as long as its Halloween then he won't draw too much attention....eejit man!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 01 July 2014, 12:50:26 am
Quote from: hotblondie28 on 29 June 2014, 01:39:57 pm

What happened Pink~Princess? I see you are just a    Guest now?
Yeah, why is this? Strange...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 01 July 2014, 12:55:48 am
'Guest' beneath a poster's name means that they have deleted their account. Move on now, please.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 02 July 2014, 11:43:24 am
on tour  texts 1 * where you at in*  :-\
                    2    u want me ?!  :o
                     3  sell me your panties in the morning ill be there at 5am !!!  ???
no idea who these people were just didnt reply
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PeroxideDonna on 02 July 2014, 02:54:47 pm

"I will be back in England soon and would love to see you for 3 hours sexy fun. I am currently abroad on a business trip.
Are you ok with anal sex and gentle anal play with my finger in your bum?
I would also like to do rimming in your clean bum. To be honest I have never done rimming on anyone but it is a fantasy of mine assuming impeccable anal hygiene of course. Are you ok with all these? I enjoy other things in your enjoy list such as oral both ways. Sorry to ask but many girls include a lot in the enjoy list but dont really do them.
I prefer to be honest. Rest assured that I am a friendly and courteous guy.
Have a nice weekend,
Joe xx"

OK...anybody who implies I don't have hygiene standards won't be getting a reply! Just thought this message was just generally badly worded and a bit rude!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 02 July 2014, 04:28:57 pm
 
Nice pics))..Im lookin for a woman for some fun...what i wanna do is first meet & have a coffee at yours n chat with half a gram of my "make you tingly" all over speed in. Then to have some sex & maybe some 2 way "peeing fun" among other things..can you do tho?!..will pay extra))xx
 maybe not !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Freya on 03 July 2014, 10:38:37 am
I do understand that this text could be construed as rude. Maybe it's a bit of a lesson for me though as I have to say that if on an alternative universe I was requesting these services then I'd probably be along the same lines as him. That's not to say that it's not badly worded though. I don't think that he means to be rude he's just being business like about it, and if he was messaging me I would feel reassured rather than put off.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: miss.mindy on 03 July 2014, 10:26:29 pm
I got a message saying "Will you do my 16 year old Kuz?"

I should tell him there is a 2 year waiting list , strangely enough I haven't seen anyone under 25 yet.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 04 July 2014, 06:11:17 pm
Twat the other day.

"I would like to meet you one day this week but can I not wear a condom and come inside you?"

I laughed at him. He said "what about doing it up the arse with no condom then, you can't get pregnant that way"?

Think he was just trying to shock as the way he spoke sounded deranged so I didn't respond much just laughed and hung up.
Been a right week this week.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: caylee_k on 05 July 2014, 02:10:32 am
I got an e-mail today from a guy asking me for (have blocked him and now his messages are gone so can't post it exactly) anal play (rimming and fingering) for 1 hr for 80 pounds at 1pm... I said no and not to contact me again as I don't offer rimming or fingering and my rate is not 80 pounds. He continued sending me messages on AW to which I did not respond. Then I get a text a few minutes later from someone wanting to book at 1:30 pm. I asked if he had contacted me on AW and he said 'no you're popular  ;)' I asked if he had an AW account and he said yes, so I responded that I could not book him at that time today but perhaps another day this weekend, however I would need a formal AW bookings request sent through, and if he was the person who had messaged me on AW that he should move along, as I did not offer the services he was looking for.

I then got a tirade of texts explaining that he had an AW account but he had deleted it, it had so much good feedback but he had a disagreement with some girl and she posted a bad review and now no one will book him... I swear to god it was like a letter, and it matched the writing style of the message he sent me on AW. I told him that was too bad and I wouldn't be able to book and he seemed like the person I had received messages from so wouldn't be an exception. Then he started sending me messages calling me a dirty slag, saying I don't understand this business and am unprofessional and he is going to post a bad review about me and my "shitty attitude." I told him he was clearly the same person messaging me on AW and not to contact me on either as I would be blocking him.

What a twat!  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rubyruby on 05 July 2014, 10:06:18 am

Hello hun :) iveee Not done much before I'm looking for experience and to build my confidence up teach me learn me..i get girls but im just to shy:(
im fed up i dont know what to do...

i'm

clean and healthy
white
slim
nice eyes
nice teeth
brown hair
blue eyes
6ft
8 inch fat cock
genuine and serious

im currently looking for..
wank me off or suck me off with condom on?
can i write my name on ur bum?
can i take pics with out your face on show?

  :-*




 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 05 July 2014, 07:19:42 pm
^^^^ha ha nothing like describing your cock and then saying you are genuine and serious to make us think otherwise.


Anyone received this gem.

Hi,
I have fetish that I hope maybe you can help me with. I have never done the following, but am looking really for someone to have the nerve to do it and so far I have not found anyone.
I am looking to be spanked in public on a busy street while being over your knee but with my trousers and pants down so on my bare bum. I am willing to travel to you or you to come down to me I am easy which one. I hope you would have the nerve to do it.
I know is a strange request please let me know if you have the bottle to do it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: caylee_k on 05 July 2014, 08:34:42 pm
"Hello miss America how are you. I'm James and I'm 26. I was scared to ring you lol ;-) can I see you today pleeease"

This is just one of many today, got this one from a guy who I told I was unavailable at 8pm but could do 10:

"wow you're a dirty slag. Your pussy must be like air you get so much cock you sound dirty"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 05 July 2014, 11:19:21 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 05 July 2014, 07:19:42 pm
^^^^ha ha nothing like describing your cock and then saying you are genuine and serious to make us think otherwise.


Anyone received this gem.

Hi,
I have fetish that I hope maybe you can help me with. I have never done the following, but am looking really for someone to have the nerve to do it and so far I have not found anyone.
I am looking to be spanked in public on a busy street while being over your knee but with my trousers and pants down so on my bare bum. I am willing to travel to you or you to come down to me I am easy which one. I hope you would have the nerve to do it.
I know is a strange request please let me know if you have the bottle to do it.

YEP! Twice so far. I think people are putting him down as a TW (which he may well be) but if genuine, he's going to have a problem finding what he wants trawling AW. He needs a specialist BDSM site (which he obv hasn't taken my advice on if he's still emailing prozzies).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 06 July 2014, 06:53:57 am
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 05 July 2014, 07:19:42 pm
^^^^ha ha nothing like describing your cock and then saying you are genuine and serious to make us think otherwise.


Anyone received this gem.

Hi,
I have fetish that I hope maybe you can help me with. I have never done the following, but am looking really for someone to have the nerve to do it and so far I have not found anyone.
I am looking to be spanked in public on a busy street while being over your knee but with my trousers and pants down so on my bare bum. I am willing to travel to you or you to come down to me I am easy which one. I hope you would have the nerve to do it.
I know is a strange request please let me know if you have the bottle to do it.
I think he was the one running through a seaside town centre in a green mankini and  green wig  his bum was red and sore possibly him lol !! I even took a picture  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 06 July 2014, 06:57:27 am
Hi my name is *** id like you to help me hang myself in an erotic way, you look adventurous . :o
to which I replied I have no desire to help assisted suicide or even auto erotic affixation though this may bring a great orgasm but possible death by strangulation , he relied with thankyou for getting back to me.!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: elp55 on 06 July 2014, 07:41:06 am
Quote from: Erotic flower on 06 July 2014, 06:53:57 am
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 05 July 2014, 07:19:42 pm
^^^^ha ha nothing like describing your cock and then saying you are genuine and serious to make us think otherwise.


Anyone received this gem.

Hi,
I have fetish that I hope maybe you can help me with. I have never done the following, but am looking really for someone to have the nerve to do it and so far I have not found anyone.
I am looking to be spanked in public on a busy street while being over your knee but with my trousers and pants down so on my bare bum. I am willing to travel to you or you to come down to me I am easy which one. I hope you would have the nerve to do it.
I know is a strange request please let me know if you have the bottle to do it.
I think he was the one running through a seaside town centre in a green mankini and  green wig  his bum was red and sore possibly him lol !! I even took a picture  :o

Snap! I had this one too! Maybe we should all turn up and oblige xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Saucepot on 06 July 2014, 12:09:02 pm
Got this yesterday:
Him:Hey baby looking good, how much for overnight?
Me: I don't do overnights until I've had previous booking with you. Have you experienced domination with a dominatrix before?
Him: no never been dominated or stuff like that but you look just like my mates mum and I've always fancied her and she's always flirting with me.
Me: how old are you?
Him: I'm 18. Can I book you for 4 hours at 11 o clock tonight.
Me: your 18, never been dominated!! You couldn't cope with 4 hours with a full on dominatrix let alone overnight and more so you couldn't afford it!! I don't think so.
Him: oh don't worry about money baby, I will bring you presents as well, tell me what you want and I'll buy it for you. You can beat me as much as you want.
Me: what I want is to say goodbye.
Him: but baby I love you, tell me what you want I will do anything, I will buy you anything, I love you.
Me: goodbye.
Phone down.
He didn't call back!!!!!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 06 July 2014, 03:56:24 pm
What I get a LOT is a text saying just this; ' Available?'
I'm not a bloody rental car or a hotelroom  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 06 July 2014, 05:07:29 pm
I dont answer to available? texts too :D
I also got an undecided guy today, he wanted to book but he couldnt tell me what time.. I blocked him to help him decide faster
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 06 July 2014, 08:00:09 pm
Quote from: hotblondie28 on 06 July 2014, 05:07:29 pm
I dont answer to available? texts too :D
I also got an undecided guy today, he wanted to book but he couldnt tell me what time.. I blocked him to help him decide faster
I fucking hate "Available" "U available" etc texts! Drives me nutttts!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 06 July 2014, 10:03:10 pm
Cheapskate haggler number 645:

A few days ago on AW:
Hi joined here for a one off expieriance for my 38 birthday.have trawled the site but keep coming back to u coz of the sexy vibe u give off??.looking for a birthday special on the 11th,would u have somewhere we could go and how much for 30 mins(remember it's my birthday)??.xx

I told him rate and availability (ignoring the not so subtle attempted haggle) and didn't hear back.

Until today:
I want u so much but ur a little out my price range.im in pretty good shape and can prove if u want me too.can u drop ur price a little so that I can have u..I knowim being cheeky but I want u so much ??

When I told him I don't appreciate haggling:
I am so sorry,I never meant to offend you.xx

Why send the message in the first place, cheapskate?  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 06 July 2014, 10:08:19 pm
Text at 6 pm:
Hi, are you free at 1 pm?

Me: Im sorry, can you please say the time again as I cant be free at 1 pm if now is 6 pm.

The idiot: Hi again, are you free at 3 pm?

It was 7 pm when he replied  :FF

Blocked
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 07 July 2014, 12:41:19 pm
I know, the 'available' one infuriates me, I think it's degrading, disrespectful and downright fuckin rude! >:(
Had one yesterday; 'Available?'
Me; 'no, won't be available til Monday'  (I only answered coz he started bombarding me with questionmarks)
Him; 'Time open'
I switched the phone off.
I can't figure out how to block texts or even numbers from this bloody phone, I know, pretty blonde (no offense, I used to be a natural blonde lol, just gone dark over the years)
but it would make my life a lot easier if I could!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 07 July 2014, 12:49:27 pm
Siorse, maybe if you let us know what phone you have, others could help you set up the block facility.  I'm a technophobe or I would try :'(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 07 July 2014, 12:55:28 pm
Its a Nokia Asha 201.. I'm a pure technophobe too, so I don't know if that's any help? I looked in the handguide thing, but it doesn't say anything about blocking individual numbers ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 07 July 2014, 01:22:30 pm
Got an message on aw. Of course I didnt reply, just blocked him. I find this kind of messages quite offensive. The worse are the ones looking for a girlfriend. On AW lol

[suspicious]Hello
Treat yourself, but i`m in-between jobs at the moments, so cant afford right now.
If you would like the best Boob sucking and massaging experience you will ever have. I`m trained in massage, and am good with back and feet.
I`v been told i have a very nice cock, by quite a few ladies.
I have 2 girlfriends, that are abroad, do not live in the UK.
I have a clean, private, discreet room in Yatton.
Please feel free to come have fun, if you wish. I`m also a fairly good photographer, so as payment, if you would like me to do a photoshoot of you, any location or enviroment, let me know.
Thanks[/suspicious]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 07 July 2014, 01:26:36 pm
Quote from: Siorse on 07 July 2014, 12:55:28 pm
Its a Nokia Asha 201.. I'm a pure technophobe too, so I don't know if that's any help? I looked in the handguide thing, but it doesn't say anything about blocking individual numbers ::)

Install a blocking app from the internet, go online from your phone and search for whoscall app, you should be able to download it even if you are not  a computer geek  ;D
Its a very useful app you must have xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 07 July 2014, 02:46:33 pm
Quote from: hotblondie28 on 07 July 2014, 01:22:30 pm
Got an message on aw. Of course I didnt reply, just blocked him. I find this kind of messages quite offensive. The worse are the ones looking for a girlfriend. On AW lol

[suspicious]Hello
Treat yourself, but i`m in-between jobs at the moments, so cant afford right now.
If you would like the best Boob sucking and massaging experience you will ever have. I`m trained in massage, and am good with back and feet.
I`v been told i have a very nice cock, by quite a few ladies.
I have 2 girlfriends, that are abroad, do not live in the UK.
I have a clean, private, discreet room in Yatton.
Please feel free to come have fun, if you wish. I`m also a fairly good photographer, so as payment, if you would like me to do a photoshoot of you, any location or enviroment, let me know.
Thanks[/suspicious]

The best boob sucking experience? do they give awards for those?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 07 July 2014, 04:56:57 pm
Quote from: hotblondie28 on 07 July 2014, 01:26:36 pm
Quote from: Siorse on 07 July 2014, 12:55:28 pm
Its a Nokia Asha 201.. I'm a pure technophobe too, so I don't know if that's any help? I looked in the handguide thing, but it doesn't say anything about blocking individual numbers ::)

Install a blocking app from the internet, go online from your phone and search for whoscall app, you should be able to download it even if you are not  a computer geek  ;D
Its a very useful app you must have xx

Thanks hotblondie!! I'll try that, that would make a huge difference in TW's and other idiots  ;)
Xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 08 July 2014, 02:29:10 am
Quote from: hotblondie28 on 07 July 2014, 01:22:30 pm
Got an message on aw. Of course I didnt reply, just blocked him. I find this kind of messages quite offensive. The worse are the ones looking for a girlfriend. On AW lol

[suspicious]Hello
Treat yourself, but i`m in-between jobs at the moments, so cant afford right now.
If you would like the best Boob sucking and massaging experience you will ever have. I`m trained in massage, and am good with back and feet.
I`v been told i have a very nice cock, by quite a few ladies.
I have 2 girlfriends, that are abroad, do not live in the UK.
I have a clean, private, discreet room in Yatton.
Please feel free to come have fun, if you wish. I`m also a fairly good photographer, so as payment, if you would like me to do a photoshoot of you, any location or enviroment, let me know.
Thanks[/suspicious]

Are these guys really that thick? Do they think we just advise so we can be banged all day everyday? I have to just block these types straight away. 'the best Boob sucking... experience' REALLY? They never cease to amazing.

LOL.

x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 08 July 2014, 02:29:40 am
amaze**
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 08 July 2014, 05:00:29 pm
Received today,
Contact number.
Err no.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 08 July 2014, 05:49:17 pm
Hello,
Would you like a dirty quick suck and go meet? Thinking we meet up at the shopping centre or shop and go straight into the dressing room or toilet cubicle and you show me how much of a slut you are by taking your load in your mouth?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: shatteredpan on 08 July 2014, 06:44:12 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 08 July 2014, 05:49:17 pm
Hello,
Would you like a dirty quick suck and go meet? Thinking we meet up at the shopping centre or shop and go straight into the dressing room or toilet cubicle and you show me how much of a slut you are by taking your load in your mouth?

What a charmer, how could anyone say no to that offer lol? XD

Had one yesterday that tried to convince me that I should pay him for his time, because he apparently has the world's most amazing cock.

Yeah, no.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 08 July 2014, 08:30:14 pm
"Do you do student discounts?"...

Yeah sure, just bring along your NUS card. NOT! Obviously I didn't bother to reply. 10 minutes later another text from the same number:

"I'm young and fit so would probably b nice change for u, and I'll make sure u enjoy urself! ;)"

Well that makes all the difference! BLOCKED.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Taylor on 09 July 2014, 03:48:40 pm
I'm looking to trade a pair of size 7 CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN shoes. They have
been worn once and retail at ?425. I can send pics if you like. Trade for
1 hr outcall to maxstoke nr meriden x


DOUCHE BAG. Im a petite lady with size 4 feet.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 09 July 2014, 05:26:58 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 05 July 2014, 07:19:42 pm
^^^^ha ha nothing like describing your cock and then saying you are genuine and serious to make us think otherwise.


Anyone received this gem.

Hi,
I have fetish that I hope maybe you can help me with. I have never done the following, but am looking really for someone to have the nerve to do it and so far I have not found anyone.
I am looking to be spanked in public on a busy street while being over your knee but with my trousers and pants down so on my bare bum. I am willing to travel to you or you to come down to me I am easy which one. I hope you would have the nerve to do it.
I know is a strange request please let me know if you have the bottle to do it.
Oh I got this email the other day...lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 10 July 2014, 02:36:52 am
Quote from: D on 08 July 2014, 06:44:12 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 08 July 2014, 05:49:17 pm
Hello,
Would you like a dirty quick suck and go meet? Thinking we meet up at the shopping centre or shop and go straight into the dressing room or toilet cubicle and you show me how much of a slut you are by taking your load in your mouth?

What a charmer, how could anyone say no to that offer lol? XD

Had one yesterday that tried to convince me that I should pay him for his time, because he apparently has the world's most amazing cock.

Yeah, no.
The worlds most amazing cock eh? So it ejaculates ?50 notes instead of spunk? I am guessing not! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 10 July 2014, 06:24:50 am
"Hi would you be willing to come and spend the night with me in North Wales, not that far from Manchester, next Wednesday? I would be prepared to pay you 600 pounds plus your travel expense... my name is [redacted], I am so desperate to have you."

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 10 July 2014, 03:38:04 pm
"Hi, I got your number from the internet. (But didn't read anything else on the advert despite the number being right at the bottom after all the information that I'm going to ask about.)"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 10 July 2014, 04:50:42 pm
Him (calling from a pay phone)..Hi I'd like to book 15 minutes
Me...Sorry I dont do 15 minutes
Him...Are you sure?
Me...Yes quite sure.
Him...But I  only want you to sit on my face for 5 minutes while you suck my cock and balls then let me f@ck you in a couple of positions can't you do that for me? I do have ?40
Me>>>Click  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 10 July 2014, 09:26:44 pm
Quote from: bibi on 10 July 2014, 02:36:52 am
Quote from: D on 08 July 2014, 06:44:12 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 08 July 2014, 05:49:17 pm
Hello,
Would you like a dirty quick suck and go meet? Thinking we meet up at the shopping centre or shop and go straight into the dressing room or toilet cubicle and you show me how much of a slut you are by taking your load in your mouth?

What a charmer, how could anyone say no to that offer lol? XD

Had one yesterday that tried to convince me that I should pay him for his time, because he apparently has the world's most amazing cock.

Yeah, no.
The worlds most amazing cock eh? So it ejaculates ?50 notes instead of spunk? I am guessing not! ;D
LMFAO!!! Laughed SO MUCH at this haha! Good one and so true lol :p
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 10 July 2014, 09:38:07 pm
Quote from: MissKylie on 10 July 2014, 09:26:44 pm
Quote from: bibi on 10 July 2014, 02:36:52 am
Quote from: D on 08 July 2014, 06:44:12 pm
Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 08 July 2014, 05:49:17 pm
Hello,
Would you like a dirty quick suck and go meet? Thinking we meet up at the shopping centre or shop and go straight into the dressing room or toilet cubicle and you show me how much of a slut you are by taking your load in your mouth?

What a charmer, how could anyone say no to that offer lol? XD

Had one yesterday that tried to convince me that I should pay him for his time, because he apparently has the world's most amazing cock.

Yeah, no.
The worlds most amazing cock eh? So it ejaculates ?50 notes instead of spunk? I am guessing not! ;D
LMFAO!!! Laughed SO MUCH at this haha! Good one and so true lol :p

Bless em, they are so proud of that wrinkly ugly thing between their legs x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 10 July 2014, 11:12:57 pm
Well its official I have amped up my AW page after feeling ill for a few (lots!) of weeks and as well as more bookings I am getting more weird texts and calls.

1. A guy calls up wanting an appointment. I advise I am outcall only for the time being.Him "Oh no really, well I cannot accomodate you so what shall we do?"

Me "Well some clients if they can afford it will book a hotel I know a few round here that are only about ?20-?40"

Him, "Will that be deducted from your fee?"

Me "No"

Him "but I'd be booking it just to see you baby"

Me "it doesn't work like that, its ok if you can't afford it this time perhaps anothr?"

Him, "How about a car meet?"

Me "No sorry thats no go either"

Him, "Well you can't be homeless perhaps i can come round yours, or we can meet and do it in the park or something but i'll want a discount if we do meet in the park"

Me "I think you should try someone else, perhaps someone that advertises that they provide incall, goodbye honey."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Then Ive had some guy call me to say that he gets a load of clothes from topshop and can pay me for an hours appointment with around ?400 worth of clothing  ::)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finally this exchange via text (I wouldn't normally bite but I'm feeling mischeivious AND bored a terrible combination!)

Him: Hello honey u are horny as fuck and stunning! u wanna meet me for a right hard dirty fucking? No strings and summin different  ;) u will be happy wit my looks talk, dark green eyed muscular think hot cock white tattoed n 30rs old live in *postcode removed*xx u wnt regret it

Me: are you looking to make an appointment?

Him: u not wanna see me free bb?

Me: Pahahaha you're funny... no
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 11 July 2014, 07:18:45 pm
I seem to be having a run of those idiots who don't read anything on an ad except the number.

It says on my ad "Call to book" and I have had 15 texts throughout the day.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mi on 12 July 2014, 12:39:48 pm
I'm not meeting at the moment which is clearly displayed on my profile and in a blog and some guy messages me with 'I know your not meeting at the moment but i'm sure you can fit in a quick meet with me.'   As if he is something special!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 12 July 2014, 03:06:37 pm
Him: I'm looking for you to come see me

Me: Ok where are you and when are you looking to meet?

Him: London next Saturday

Me: How long an appointment?

Him: 30 Minutes

Me: Sorry but it would need to be at least a 3hr booking plus travel expenses paid in advance for that distance.

Him: You shouldn't f***ing advertise half hours if you don't do them.

Blocked
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 12 July 2014, 06:20:23 pm
Definitely idiot central today!

idiot- will you do 30 mins for 20.
me- no.
idiot- 25 mins for 20 then
*block*

idiot 2- When are you next doing incalls
(I'm listed as available today...?  ???)
me- until this evening and then next week
idiot 2- what will you do 30 min incall for
..how hard is it to read freaking rates?

idiot 3- how much for overnight
me- I don't do overnights.
idiot 3- you'll enjoy yourself
*block*

idiot 4- booked for 6pm, got a tw feel so didn't even bother getting ready for the appointment, instead started reading on my kindle. Lo and behold text at 6.05- sorry for late text my gran was taken to hos an hour ago so couldnt contact you


*sighhhh*

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 12 July 2014, 06:50:24 pm
LOL

I told number 2 my info and rates are all listed, just got a response

"i had a look i'll try someone else as i only pay 60 for half hour. message me if you ever do sp offers."


Trying to indirecly haggle and he must have missed my June offer which was right in his price range.  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 14 July 2014, 10:54:00 am
"can i do a 15 min incall please?

ill be coming to you on a mountain bike but it is worth alot of money,
is there anywhere i can stick it?"

Gross.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosa on 14 July 2014, 11:31:35 am
Quote from: Red KB on 14 July 2014, 10:54:00 am
"can i do a 15 min incall please?

ill be coming to you on a mountain bike but it is worth alot of money,
is there anywhere i can stick it?"

Gross.

Although that could be read as a mildy humorous joke I don't actually think it's gross. It's not uncommon for cyclists to ask where they can "stick" their bike, without meaning they want to shove it up your arse.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 14 July 2014, 11:41:14 am
I meant he'd be all sweaty from riding it to my house from who knows where and for a 15 minute incall he's hardly going to have time for a shower.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Freya on 14 July 2014, 08:08:59 pm
Yeah but he might be dead fit :-)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 14 July 2014, 11:01:30 pm
"Hey,

Just been reading your profile. I'm a manager at a large restaurant chain in the UK (not the fast food type, a real one) I earn alot of money and I'd love to spend some of that on you. What can you offer me for my money? Different levels of expense would be good as to what I can get from you?

Thanks,
Alex"

What a fucking weirdo...
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 14 July 2014, 11:05:54 pm
Strange, I had a similar message but the manager was looking for a princess and I had to let him down as I am not one  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 14 July 2014, 11:20:01 pm
Quote from: hotblondie28 on 14 July 2014, 11:05:54 pm
Strange, I had a similar message but the manager was looking for a princess and I had to let him down as I am not one  ;D
Lol yeah, and I looked at his profile which says he's 20years old! I don't even see twenty year olds!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 15 July 2014, 01:29:50 am
Had 2 in recent days by phone.

1)  Are you free today?
Not till the evening.
So you charge for it in the morning but I can get it for free in the evening?  ::)

2)  Could you meet me inside a mixed swimming pool?
No!

Really not a way to book. He wanted to meet inside the actual pool but how would I recognise him when I'm swimming around? He would probably be in it laughing at me. Also how would I get payment at the start? Obviously as well the pool would have to be mixed so he didn't need to say mixed lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 15 July 2014, 02:35:33 am
Quote from: MissKylie on 14 July 2014, 11:01:30 pm
"Hey,

Just been reading your profile. I'm a manager at a large restaurant chain in the UK (not the fast food type, a real one) I earn alot of money and I'd love to spend some of that on you. What can you offer me for my money? Different levels of expense would be good as to what I can get from you?

Thanks,
Alex"

What a fucking weirdo...
Oh i hate the ones that whitter on about how much money they are going to spend..I'm like you get the service it tells you about on my profile and oh yeah well bugger me my rates are there too....knock yourself out and read it why don't you?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 15 July 2014, 03:37:32 am
Like those that book, sound genuine etc and I've spent a bit of time explaining how to get to landmark, where to park all that then at the end I confirm it with them and they say yes it's definite. Then they say ok how much is it? :FF I ask how can you confirm a booking without knowing what the prices are?

Them confirming the price before making a definite booking as it states prices clearly on all my ads, is perfectly acceptable of course but not knowing at all isn't as I could say ?500 an hour for all they know and all my explaining things has gone to waste. (Although I think a few of these have seen the prices really).

I feel like saying do you book and confirm a holiday without knowing how much will be taken off your card?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 15 July 2014, 04:50:44 am
Quote from: Bluetits on 15 July 2014, 03:37:32 am
Like those that book, sound genuine etc and I've spent a bit of time explaining how to get to landmark, where to park all that then at the end I confirm it with them and they say yes it's definite. Then they say ok how much is it? :FF I ask how can you confirm a booking without knowing what the prices are?

Them confirming the price before making a definite booking as it states prices clearly on all my ads, is perfectly acceptable of course but not knowing at all isn't as I could say ?500 an hour for all they know and all my explaining things has gone to waste. (Although I think a few of these have seen the prices really).

I feel like saying do you book and confirm a holiday without knowing how much will be taken off your card?

I'm pretty sure they ask just in case you quote a cheaper rate! I'm sure if you said it was more expensive than you advertise they'd say "But it says on your profile..."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 15 July 2014, 05:45:16 am
Yeah true BJC, I think in general lots ask thinking you will say cheaper but what I mean here is they've already confirmed the booking and ask at the very end. Why do they not ask at the beginning if they genuinely don't know as that is about the most important part of the meet I think.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 15 July 2014, 05:49:23 am
Also when they ask how much is half hour, I say ?80. They say 'but it says here 40'. (They 1st said they couldn't see it). I say if it does say 40 then I will do it for that, knowing it doesn't! But then I panic a bit thinking that some dodgy site has nicked my details and listed me as that  :o but it hasn't been the case. I know and they know damn well what I've put prices at. Them trying to trick me will not make me say oh ok then I'll do it for ?40 LMfAO. Funny how they can't see what site it is when I ask.

For me, a more annoying way of haggling.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 16 July 2014, 03:29:00 am
Had the all time classic today..via phone
Me: Hello
Bellend:How big are your tits?
Me:Bigger than your brain evidently.

And block!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 16 July 2014, 04:01:31 am
Quote from: bibi on 16 July 2014, 03:29:00 am
Had the all time classic today..via phone
Me: Hello
Bellend:How big are your tits?
Me:Bigger than your brain evidently.

And block!

You know some days, I actually could knock their heads clean off!  :FF ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 16 July 2014, 12:45:53 pm
When they book, arrange time and length of visit, then start asking all the questions about what you offer. Turns out they want stuff you don't even offer.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 16 July 2014, 03:04:25 pm
Yes I hate that...or they then ask your rate and say its too much.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 16 July 2014, 03:15:22 pm
Just had a call:

Him: 'Have you ever seen a 9 inch cock before?'

Me: 'Well i'm escort, I see alot of cocks'

Him: 'But I bet you've never had one like mine, all smooth and hard'

Me: *Timewaster alert* 'I see cocks morning, noon and night. Infact i've had more cock than you've had hot dinners.'

CLICK!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 16 July 2014, 04:35:25 pm
Has anyone else had the request for you to fart in the clients face? I know we all offer different things that for some are "normal" and some not but I find this request repulsive! And how could anyone fart to order! X

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Saucepot on 16 July 2014, 04:40:36 pm
 Oh Nia I had someone text and ask me to fart in his face!!!!
I'm not against anyone's choices or what anyone wants or what anyone offers but I just couldn't do, I really couldn't.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 16 July 2014, 04:50:55 pm
Quote from: Saucepot on 16 July 2014, 04:40:36 pm
Oh Nia I had someone text and ask me to fart in his face!!!!
I'm not against anyone's choices or what anyone wants or what anyone offers but I just couldn't do, I really couldn't.

I get asked now and then and I am with you on this one, i am very open minded but farting! No way, I think I'd laugh through total embarrassment x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 16 July 2014, 05:22:52 pm
I could easily fart in someones face but I dunno how you would do that on demand... perhaps make sure you eat some Jerusalem Artichokes or brussel sprouts a couple of hours  before the appointment lol 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Freya on 17 July 2014, 12:22:05 pm
Now that's what I call preparing for he job HHJJ!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Freya on 18 July 2014, 09:36:52 am
Just noticed that I have received an AW booking from someone who lists likes as:BB with females. (This has put me off my cornflakes).

This is the first time that anyone's booked without contacting me first so I just blocked him - is this enough to get rid of the booking too?

I've had a series of odd contacts via AW this week from people with no feedback and I think they're related.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 18 July 2014, 09:44:03 am
"I?ve few questions, if you don?t mind answering. Well I?ve been with escorts twice, but I was sort of not willing to try few things so just let them in lead and did as they wished. Now I like to try those things and so was wondering if tell you now and see what you might have to say.
1. I did not ask for sex in recent visits but now I do like to try it out. I just like to ask u is whether can I try it? Well I mean if I try, will it least be able to penetrate? Not asking whether it gonna penetrate in deep or feel in deep but mere that will it least fit in? You may see my penis picson flickr, just copy paste the following. It will show 1 soft and 1 erect pic:
[removed]
2. And in sex, just curious to know do all sex positions work the same way? I mean will all sex positions will be doable? And which u think might be hard or not possible. Just whatever you think.
3. My university friend said tit fuck will not work on my penis. I don?t know why but all I understand is that when boobs are pulled together, the little finger can be inserted right? So if little finger can, then why not my penis. So just like to ask u is what you think about tit fuck? I mean how you think it might go?
4. And do you deep throating, allow cum in mouth and swallow? I mean I really like to try deep throating, and to cum in mouth, with half swallowed and half just hanging around the mouth? Aw and to tell you now, I?ve the cum picture on flickr, BUT THAT SHOWS THREE OF MY LOADS. Which mean my single is 1/3 of that, so can this all be managed? Deep throat, Half swallowed n half around mouth?
I know there might be no fix answer to it, but just like to see how you think. I mean you are experienced and certainly know how this all works, so just like to see as to how precisely you think the above things might go and also because I can also make up my mind and what to expect when I try. Hope you understand and please, I am not very experienced so if you could kindly give some details of them. And Looking for this weekend appointment, incall for 1 hour, please."

Don't think I'll be spending anytime replying to this. He has 0 feedback and timewaster notes saying he's sent this to others.



[Link removed - please don't post these here]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 18 July 2014, 11:22:30 am
I got the same message from the same guy.
I explained few things to him then blocked as my nose told me he is a time waster.
Which I kindly informed him too :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 18 July 2014, 11:32:20 am
Yes the above sad case does the rounds with the same copy and paste email.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 18 July 2014, 11:34:21 am
I got this charmer the other week.

Him: Hi I see on your ad it says your a bbw, Im just wondering if I would get it in.

Me: What do you mean?

Him: I was wondering if my cock would be able to go in what with you being big.

Me: Im not that bloody big.

I mean seriously nowhere in my ad does it say I'm like 50st or something and I don't even look that big.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 18 July 2014, 03:28:02 pm
guy tries to book on Sunday but I spoke to my bf and it waas when the footy was on so he would be unable to drive me and it was about 40 minutes away so not worth getting a taxi in that time so I told him that I will not be able to make it for those reasons. (I did say before I confirmed appointent I would need to check with my driver) his response:

I live in a village (village name) I used to live near (different town) I know thats no help but just saying! I'd be happy to give you any details to secure yourself and pick you up if thats of use. I am a frisky that doesn't do this much and doesn't think eastern europeans are fun. What a lazy cunt he is watching the football? Tsk


So in one message he managed to tell me useless info about where he used to live, drop in some racism (I have know Idea what Eastern Europeans had to do with anything) and call my driver a cunt for wanting to watch the World Cup Final?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 19 July 2014, 12:12:48 am
Had a guy text early on today requesting an outcall this afternoon in a particular hotel, the time etc was quickly agreed but when I text him to say I needed his name and room number and would be ringing him in his hotel room before agreeing to the booking he stopped replying.

A few hours later, a different number text for a booking in the evening, when I asked which hotel he said the same one as the previous person - this isn't even that local a hotel to me and I hadn't heard of it till today. And guess what, when I asked him for his name and room number he stopped replying as well...

This week has really brought out the idiots and timewasters - must be the hot weather!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: caylee_k on 19 July 2014, 04:12:29 am
"Hi would you and a girlfriend be happy to lift and carry each other, piggyback and firemans lift in a session with me?"

WTF?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 19 July 2014, 03:17:19 pm
"hi hun

i am 34 yrs, male, i will be frequently flying to Athens, Greece for company work

i am looking for a female who likes to travel and wants to tour Athens. i can cover all your travel, accommodation and reasonable living expenses but NO other payments. So if you looking for free all paid holiday to Athens then let me know"

 ::)
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 19 July 2014, 06:31:44 pm
Quote from: caylee_k on 19 July 2014, 04:12:29 am
"Hi would you and a girlfriend be happy to lift and carry each other, piggyback and firemans lift in a session with me?"

WTF?

That is a fetish! Not sure if it has a name? I've had clients ask for this x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 19 July 2014, 06:42:02 pm
I've only ever heard it called lift and carry, but it's real enough and I've done it a few times :).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mollyescort on 19 July 2014, 07:26:12 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 19 July 2014, 03:17:19 pm
"hi hun

i am 34 yrs, male, i will be frequently flying to Athens, Greece for company work

i am looking for a female who likes to travel and wants to tour Athens. i can cover all your travel, accommodation and reasonable living expenses but NO other payments. So if you looking for free all paid holiday to Athens then let me know"

 ::)

I had the same message too..

Got this today

"Ur addres? "
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: catlady85 on 19 July 2014, 09:07:34 pm
I got that!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 19 July 2014, 10:07:51 pm
By text..'Hi are you English?'


I mean if that is really a concern why text? Anybody can text back and say yes... :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 20 July 2014, 10:00:43 am
Received via email.

"Hi, how would I be able to contact you please, thank you."

I think you just did!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Feltipen on 20 July 2014, 03:03:12 pm
I've had a guy asking me "are you available?" "text address" "text when working"
I've explained to him that my availability is advertised and I've even sent him times etc.

The other day he tried again with a time. I explained I wasn't available that day and to check my profile as I keep it fully updated with my dates and times. He informed me "waste of time" to which I replied that it wasn't a waste of time and it would actually save him a lot of time if he just checked beforehand.

Then I got " Wast of time you are not my doctor--that--i---need---to--make--appointment--!!" and "waste if time you---sure--not--a---lady---boy--!!"

I said, well actually yes you do need to make an appointment as I take advanced bookings and am generally fully booked as I was today. I don't sit around waiting for on the day bookings so if that's what you need then perhaps you should look elsewhere.

and my replies?
"May be so---are--you---indeed--a--lady---boy??" and "so you indeed a ladyboy!!"


I'm not even sure he knew what he was saying to me. Plus it's a hell of a lot easier to get a booking with me than it is with my doctor!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MM3 on 20 July 2014, 03:34:30 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 16 July 2014, 04:35:25 pm
Has anyone else had the request for you to fart in the clients face? I know we all offer different things that for some are "normal" and some not but I find this request repulsive! And how could anyone fart to order! X


Hahaha funny. I've actually done it couple of times. I can imagine its not everybody's cup of tea, but its very easy, well at least it was for me.. :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kinkyboots on 20 July 2014, 08:59:20 pm
Div through email: "would you 30 mins ?60 on wed if you will you have a booking it will cost me about ?30 to get to (edited out my location) xx hope you can xx"

My half an hour incall fee is 80, as if he expected me to pay for his travel expenses. What a dickhead.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 July 2014, 09:38:47 pm
Its tempting to write back and ask if they chose to go to a marks and spencer in another town would they ask for a discount to cover their petrol?Had this a few times...prats.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosa on 20 July 2014, 09:48:40 pm
I've had the reverse of that.

"I can't afford to travel to you, if you are in my area will you visit me for your incall rate?", hmmm.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 21 July 2014, 02:12:40 am
19/07/2014 16:30:3119/07/2014 18:52:26mrjollyboyBlowJob-Clairehi xxxx
Hey, nice profile and pics. How is your weekend going?

I'm a genuine, decent professional, 33 year old guy. I'm looking for a long term relationship. I enjoy my partner having other guys (it's a massive turn on for me), so it's a bonus you do escorting. I would love a meaningful, long term loving relationship - with all the affection and normal stuff together. Not easy finding that on dating sites, so decided to try this.

I'm not your typical insecure type of guy who has to control his partner. I don't get jealous either. I'm very open minded, easy going and a generally happy go lucky fun loving guy. I understand the need for independence and space in a good relationship too. Have a look at my profile - got some pics there etc. It would be nice to chat and get to know you.

P.S - distance isn't an issue - as I travel a lot, drive and have Luton airport not far from me :).

Hope to speak soon,
Scott x

...Where to start?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 21 July 2014, 09:49:59 am
mrjollyboy sent me that one too. If he thought he was having trouble on dating sites why would he think using a site for buying sex would give him more success!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 21 July 2014, 10:05:33 am
Quote from: BJC on 21 July 2014, 02:12:40 am
19/07/2014 16:30:3119/07/2014 18:52:26mrjollyboyBlowJob-Clairehi xxxx
Hey, nice profile and pics. How is your weekend going?

I'm a genuine, decent professional, 33 year old guy. I'm looking for a long term relationship. I enjoy my partner having other guys (it's a massive turn on for me), so it's a bonus you do escorting. I would love a meaningful, long term loving relationship - with all the affection and normal stuff together. Not easy finding that on dating sites, so decided to try this.

I'm not your typical insecure type of guy who has to control his partner. I don't get jealous either. I'm very open minded, easy going and a generally happy go lucky fun loving guy. I understand the need for independence and space in a good relationship too. Have a look at my profile - got some pics there etc. It would be nice to chat and get to know you.

P.S - distance isn't an issue - as I travel a lot, drive and have Luton airport not far from me :).

Hope to speak soon,
Scott x

...Where to start?!

He's been trying his luck for years now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tangomango on 21 July 2014, 11:03:28 pm
1:
-Can you send me your pics?
-I post many of my pics on every advert, I don't send pics.
-Oh, I haven't seen your pics.
-So where did you get my number?
*client hungs up*

2:
-When you will be at my place?
-30-40 minutes, darling.
-Too late, don't come. Bye.

3:
As a Polish girl i have many Polish clients from polish sites and every night I get about 6 calls like this:
-Tell me how much do you charge for one hour?
-(my price here)
-Two hours?
-(my price again)
-But you know, I am with my 2,3,4,5 friends here so can you come for one hour and have fun with all of us?

4:
-Your price is way to high how about 70 pounds and I want only OWO?
-No.
-80 pounds?
-I am not giving discounts!
-Can you do 90?
-Are you buying potatoes on market? No, bye.

Why some man are such douchebags?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 22 July 2014, 10:55:22 am
Bless, just had some straight guy email me asking if I could teach him my trade as he is intersted in being an escort.... replied asking if he would like me to tell him how to suck cock.... he didn't reply  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 22 July 2014, 12:17:09 pm
"u got any offers on today"

"i normally pay 30 for 20 mins"

I suggest you go there then!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AlexRa on 22 July 2014, 01:24:10 pm
Quote from: tangomango on 21 July 2014, 11:03:28 pm
1:
-Can you send me your pics?
-I post many of my pics on every advert, I don't send pics.
-Oh, I haven't seen your pics.
-So where did you get my number?
*client hungs up*

sequel to that:
- you can see my pics on AW (if they found me on backpage)
- but I can't access it from my phone...
- then sort it out
- but I have no credit card
- are you actually 18 and do u have actually money then?
*client hungs up*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 22 July 2014, 10:03:36 pm
guy today who just toined aw, no contact before this gem:

"will you accept payment via paypal?"

 :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 24 July 2014, 04:52:33 pm
One asks me if will do phone chat so explained didn't. He then asked about in depth sexual services trying to be clever with me but stopped him. He then asked for a quick few minute (Free Time). So kindly explained to go down the pub for a freebie not escorts as clients pay. He laughed and said well his looking for a fantasy. But politely said I need to go now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Saucepot on 24 July 2014, 09:20:02 pm
Just got text saying "Are you free over the weekend to come and punish me at the hotel I'm staying at in Warrington".
First I only do incalls and second Warrington is in Cheshire and I'm in Essex!!!!
I reply "No sorry, only do incalls as it says on my profile and Warrington would be too far anyway".
He replies "Please, please I desperately need punishment but if you can't come do you know anyone who would".

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kinkyboots on 24 July 2014, 11:36:30 pm

I got something virtually identical to that relationship chaser today except he signed off as Pete and not Scott.

Whenever I get one of those I just think to myself.. You idiot  ???
I'm always tempted to send them a long arse patronizing email telling them how stupid they are and what we actually think of them kind of emails, then I remember that they copy and paste the same thing to 101 different girls and wouldn't read the reply anyway upon realising you're not accepting the offer lol.

Two words. Bell ends  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 25 July 2014, 01:13:39 pm
Emailing to arrange a booking and then going very quiet when a phone number is requested. Because I'm going to give out my full address via email. I think not!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Saucepot on 25 July 2014, 01:58:28 pm
Received text just saying "book you" which winds me up something chronic anyway so as I was making cuppa left it about 5 minutes and get another text from same number saying "you slag face".
I then get 8 messages straight after that all saying "I'm so sorry that text was meant for my girlfriend", "please forgive me you weren't meant to get that I want to book you", " please you got the wrong text", etc, etc.
Erm I don't think so.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 25 July 2014, 02:59:35 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 25 July 2014, 01:13:39 pm
Emailing to arrange a booking and then going very quiet when a phone number is requested. Because I'm going to give out my full address via email. I think not!

I had an email from a guy telling me he will call from a witheld number to arrange a booking. Told him I need to have at least a phone number from a guy who will get my adress. Plain stupidity.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 26 July 2014, 04:22:24 pm
Quote from: hotblondie28 on 25 July 2014, 02:59:35 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 25 July 2014, 01:13:39 pm
Emailing to arrange a booking and then going very quiet when a phone number is requested. Because I'm going to give out my full address via email. I think not!

I had an email from a guy telling me he will call from a witheld number to arrange a booking. Told him I need to have at least a phone number from a guy who will get my adress. Plain stupidity.

Did you not know you are supposed to be able to tell which withheld number is his as being an escort gives you magical qualities normal people just don't have :FF

It amazes me that they wont trust us with a phone number but expect us to trust them in our bedrooms when we are naked or almost naked and alone
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Freya on 27 July 2014, 01:24:45 am
Got someone today asking me my shoe size, did I paint my toe nails, would I ruin the booking by giggling when he licked my toes and err....could he respectfully ask me to send him a pic of my feet to his private email if he first made a booking?.....er no to the email pic!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheChemist on 27 July 2014, 06:39:07 pm
Quote from: Chanel xxx on 26 January 2014, 11:37:59 pm
Quote from: India597 on 26 January 2014, 09:35:51 pm
I got the below email today, it made me laugh  :D i dont do roleplay only straightforward gfe, if he had bothered to read my profile he would know  :FF  i didnt reply

Wow, you look stunning from your profile. I am a mid 30's white professional male fit and quite good looking. Are you up to meet for some sexy hot roleplay? as I have a meeting close to Leeds this week. I was thinking I could be Tarzan bare chested with my manhood sticking out of my loincloth for you to see. You could be my sexy jane in the jungle almost naked with the leaves brushing against your soft pussy, making you wet and horny for tarzan. I'll fight off the tribesmen to protect your honour sweating and writhing in the dirt with my hard cock on display. You could then reward your wounded champion by holding the tip of my cock and leading me to your bed where we can indulge in primitive sensuality as I gently nuzzle my manhood against your sensitive hot pussy lips and kiss the nape of your neck..........Does this roleplay/fantasy sound suitable for us to meet. What do you think?

Lol bareback much?

Do you think this is the same guy?

   
Hi ******

Wow, you sound rather delectable from your profile.
I am a mid 30's white professional male. Quite good looking and well hung.

Would you be interested in some sexy roleplay?

I would like to 'fight' for your honour. Nothing too serious or violent but competitive enough for two men to 'duel' over you. I was thinking bare chested with the victor having having the right to sensually mate with you in front of the loser.

Fully understand if this is not suitable. However I am no thug and this would be erotic chivalrous pleasure between educated people.

Please let me know your thoughts

Regards
O****


I think I'll pass. BF, however is up for it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 28 July 2014, 01:08:20 pm
Just had a guy email me "28, Kristiansund" (one of the two towns I work in). When I emailed him back that I'm gonna need a bit more info than that, like WHEN he wants to meet, I've gotten a ">phone number<. Call?" back. Lolwut.

Even more amusing if you consider that I clearly state on both of my profiles that I discuss details only over email, and use phones only to confirm. >.>
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Saucepot on 28 July 2014, 06:59:38 pm
Received text earlier.
Him: postcode
Me:that's not really the way to ask but did you want to make a booking and when for?
Him: txt postcode and I cum now
Me: ermmm no
There really is no need for them to be so bloody rude and disrespectful.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 28 July 2014, 11:28:45 pm
Quote from: Saucepot on 28 July 2014, 06:59:38 pm
Received text earlier.
Him: postcode
Me:that's not really the way to ask but did you want to make a booking and when for?
Him: txt postcode and I cum now
Me: ermmm no
There really is no need for them to be so bloody rude and disrespectful.

I would interpret that as "Reading postcodes makes me orgasm!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Saucepot on 28 July 2014, 11:58:14 pm
Haha I never thought of it like that  :D that's excellent
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 29 July 2014, 09:54:15 am
"I am wondering if you can help?

As long as I can remember i have had a big thing for girls that smoke but have always been too scared to tell anyone, now its getting to the point where I have to do somethng about it!

I am looking for someone to indulge my fetish with things like smoke filled kisses, smoking blow jobs, smoking during sex.....just smoking all round really!

sound like something you could help with?"

Nothing that wrong about this but I do suspect a copy and paste job as he didn't address me by name, or even say hello for that matter. I might have entertained his request if only he'd done that!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 29 July 2014, 01:16:16 pm
Hello Gorgeous,

I hope your week has started nicely. Please I don't mean to be rude, but I just wanted to know if you could meet for #70 an hour at Greenhithe today or tomorrow morning.

I hope you dont take it as an insult. Sincerely I am not looking for someone to undercut, but instead someone I could meet regularly and develop some sort of friendship. Please let me know if you dont mind meeting for that amount. I am also a black guy, should you like BBC.

Cheers

P

1) He hasn't read any of my profile
2) I'm not getting out of bed at silly o'clock to do a morning booking for ?70!!!
3) Doesn't mean to be rude, but offers less than half my fee anyway
4) Wants someone to meet regularly - good luck with that, cheapskate!
5) I don't offer a friendship service
6) I don't care if you're orange with blue dots, but the fact you are so proud of your "BBC" is enough for me to block and ignore.

and 7) I bet it was a copy & paste job.


Better that I posted that here and not send it as a reply. I'm having PMT = POST menstrual tension ;D
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 29 July 2014, 01:28:12 pm
Mail back and tell him to FRO :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Saucepot on 29 July 2014, 02:21:24 pm
Message from a guy who's never experienced domination before and isn't sure what to expect. I messaged back saying how I would go through everything with him beforehand, etc. he replies saying can I come and see you just for a chat about it. I say when would you like to book that for and he says oh I don't want to book anything yet I just want a quick chat, you don't charge for that do you?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 29 July 2014, 07:40:16 pm
I have just received a text from some website saying someone I know wants me to call them because they have no credit. I think they need to priortise their spending!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 29 July 2014, 09:56:57 pm
Quote from: Carla on 29 August 2009, 09:46:46 pm
Quote from: pandora on 29 August 2009, 09:21:06 pm
"If not, do you have any friends that would like me to stop by and wank?"

Send him in my direction- I"ll need something to watch once big brother is over for another year.

One of my most memorable was a lovely request from a gentleman to meet as friends, where I would be pleasured by this obviously very selfless man whose main priority was to give me a good time. How thoughtful of him:

"I'd be more into pleasurin u then anything. U work 2 hard and should be treated special and that's what I'd do 4 u."

followed quickly by:

"I'm hopin we can meet up at a friend level where ur not "workin" it'll make the sex so much more passionate. I'm sure u don't get that much. U should give me a discount seein as I'm more focused in givin u pleasure more then anything else ;)"

After being ignored:

"Uve neva given a discount or had sex 4 free?"

and about three hours later:

"I was just askin werent implyin nuffin I'm def willin 2 spend money on u who wouldn't ur an absolute knock out"

I kept them all because the whole conversation still makes me laugh like a drain. Berk.

Thank you so much. I'm home in my bed and laughing really hard!
I'm not a native English speaker and it still takes me a few seconds to actually "translate" those messages and gosh aren't they beautiful !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 31 July 2014, 01:00:13 am
Hi,

"I'm looking for an outcall in a Manchester City Centre hotel on Friday the 15th August.

Starting at 2PM and finish 2AM on the next morning - 12 hours total.

I want us both naked for the whole time - except u wearing just high heels and stockings.

The whole time spent engaging in as much sex as possible. Including kissing, anal, sex, cim, owo and toys.

I want it to be a regular monthly meeting. I'll supply all alcohol. I'm offering ?300.

How does this sound? xxxx"

 I'm just dying to be in manchester city centre at 2am which is dangeous all alone, I cant wait to get drunk with a stranger, and I'm happy to charge my 3 hr rate for 12 hours, oh and I'm a machine that dosesnt need sleep either so sex every second is fine too!

"Quick fuck today ?20 sexy xx"

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 31 July 2014, 02:54:50 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 19 July 2014, 03:17:19 pm
"hi hun

i am 34 yrs, male, i will be frequently flying to Athens, Greece for company work

i am looking for a female who likes to travel and wants to tour Athens. i can cover all your travel, accommodation and reasonable living expenses but NO other payments. So if you looking for free all paid holiday to Athens then let me know"

 ::)

Copy paste. I had him as well. He kept emailing til I blocked him.
Yep, sex for free. No way.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 31 July 2014, 03:50:26 pm
Quote from: Saucepot on 29 July 2014, 02:21:24 pm
Message from a guy who's never experienced domination before and isn't sure what to expect. I messaged back saying how I would go through everything with him beforehand, etc. he replies saying can I come and see you just for a chat about it. I say when would you like to book that for and he says oh I don't want to book anything yet I just want a quick chat, you don't charge for that do you?


A lot of these men who claim to be  "curious but clueless" about BDSM/Domination are in fact seasoned TWs...He will be getting off on the email/phone call of "what to expect in the session" .

I deal with this by reversing the questions , EG asking them which aspects of BDSM/serving a Mistress turns them on , what activities are a turn off/hard limit for them , how much experience if any they have and for them to tell me any fanatasys and expectations they may have. I also tell them that I will not give a rundown of "what happens in a session" due to TWs and more importantly it will spoil the surprise of whats in store for them. Too many of those guys about who waste time , mind you I stil get caught out even though Im an old hand now...A guy called yesterday aft , confirmed he can perform shoe/foot worship, WS etc etc , 2 hr booking today...No call no show. Now he tried to get me into the "what does mistress like" convo , however he did seem quite genuine and I expected him to show. He had me on the phone for 20mins.

Another 20mins wasted where other callers could of got through!

One of the annoyances we have to put up with Im afraid.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 31 July 2014, 03:57:30 pm
Text from  this afternoon.

" hi u avail gouges x"

Was tempted to reply and ask if he's into some extreme female violence and wants me to "gouge" him. But ignored instead.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 31 July 2014, 06:19:49 pm
Quote from: KinkyVixen on 31 July 2014, 03:57:30 pm
Text from  this afternoon.

" hi u avail gouges x"

Was tempted to reply and ask if he's into some extreme female violence and wants me to "gouge" him. But ignored instead.
[/quote

LOL, this made me giggle!

I have free texts so sometimes I am really tempted to reply with something sarcastic!

"hi do you do bb?"
"no"
"but i'm clean. bb then?"
"no"
"can I book you for bb"

block!

Block!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 01 August 2014, 10:48:55 am
Hi there you sexy lady I was wondering if I could meet you please. You look gorgeous and you have a great personality to boot. What I am looking for is for you to suck my meaty work and allow me to spunk in your eyes.

Please respond asap.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 01 August 2014, 11:08:40 am
 
 Hi! I have a specific fantasy.I would like to see you fuck with a guys in front of me.Could you do that today?

 ?

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 01 August 2014, 07:49:54 pm
Text today:

Quote
Ho1h-130??

Presumably from the man with the least free time in town ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissLarissa on 01 August 2014, 10:04:52 pm
Ahhh i love the "can you do BB" texts because i have so many free texts and i like to deal with people like this with a bit of crazy. For example:



Idiot: do you do BB?
Me: Bed and Breakfast?
Idiot: No, bareback
Me: You mean Beta Blockers? Basket Ball? Big Ben?

And so on, so i keep replying with one of the 197 acronyms for BB i found online.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 01 August 2014, 10:46:57 pm
"Hi, I'm a fully professional escort who works in London, check my profile if you don't believe me.
I'm going to be in Manchester to watch the cricket next week and need a place to stay on Friday and Saturday nights. I won't be in the way as I'll try and be out as much as possible, but I was thinking, if you provide me with a place to stay for those two nights, maybe we could have a bit of fun as well? If not, maybe you could use this as an opportunity to do a MF duo service for a couple of nights?
I wouldn't ask for anything, just a place to sleep.
What do you think?"

BWAHAHAHA!!!!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saturnspirit on 04 August 2014, 11:31:19 pm
Just had this email on aw. Funny enough this profile has no feedback

"xxx wow ypur sexy ! Are you into BDSM, DOM, CBT ?? ever done cock and/or testicle malleting babe ? I have a 16oz mallet here....would you consider an hour outcall for ?100 plz babe ? xxx Damon xxx"

Ummm. He can't read my outcall rates and seriously a malleting to his cock!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 05 August 2014, 01:18:11 am
Quote from: Red KB on 29 July 2014, 09:54:15 am
"I am wondering if you can help?

As long as I can remember i have had a big thing for girls that smoke but have always been too scared to tell anyone, now its getting to the point where I have to do somethng about it!

I am looking for someone to indulge my fetish with things like smoke filled kisses, smoking blow jobs, smoking during sex.....just smoking all round really!

sound like something you could help with?"

Nothing that wrong about this but I do suspect a copy and paste job as he didn't address me by name, or even say hello for that matter. I might have entertained his request if only he'd done that!

Your suspicions were correct!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 05 August 2014, 09:03:09 am
I got this text 3 days ago:

"Hi my friend ı found your number from website..ı wanna see you for 1 hour?howmuch is your price??and what is your service??"

Which I replied to politely with links to my website etc and never heard back.

And today I woke to the following string of texts sent between 2:55am and 4:45am (by the same person):

"Hi, sorry ı am sailing now..on 6 august ı will be in port."

"I am maritime engineer and ı dont have home,do you have home to come your place??ı need to sex with you only, not massage and other..ı really need a best sex☺️how much is your price for 1 hour."

"When if you are free, please we will contact you" [we??]

"See you soon my friend"

"And also please give me your rules and info ı couldnt enter your website" [I'm not sending my entire website text!]

"My net is blocked by three phone net☺️"

"You are black girl? Can you send me photo please! And also ı will come there with 2 extra my friends. Do you have another your girl friend for my friends" [apparently has never been on my site, you would never in a million years mistake my pale ass for a black girl! And NO to group bookings...]

"I am waiting your answers byss."

When I woke up at a sensible hour, I just told him he really needs to check my website before getting in touch again because he doesn't even have the first clue about me or my services!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 06 August 2014, 10:16:00 am
Just got this charming little text -

'How much do you charge and what do you get'

Blocked!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Saucepot on 06 August 2014, 12:41:21 pm
Received this text this morning.
"Hey book ya 1 hour"
So polite!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 06 August 2014, 02:32:49 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 05 August 2014, 09:03:09 am
I got this text 3 days ago:

"Hi my friend ı found your number from website..ı wanna see you for 1 hour?howmuch is your price??and what is your service??"

Which I replied to politely with links to my website etc and never heard back.

And today I woke to the following string of texts sent between 2:55am and 4:45am (by the same person):

"Hi, sorry ı am sailing now..on 6 august ı will be in port."

"I am maritime engineer and ı dont have home,do you have home to come your place??ı need to sex with you only, not massage and other..ı really need a best sex☺️how much is your price for 1 hour."

"When if you are free, please we will contact you" [we??]

"See you soon my friend"

"And also please give me your rules and info ı couldnt enter your website" [I'm not sending my entire website text!]

"My net is blocked by three phone net☺️"

"You are black girl? Can you send me photo please! And also ı will come there with 2 extra my friends. Do you have another your girl friend for my friends" [apparently has never been on my site, you would never in a million years mistake my pale ass for a black girl! And NO to group bookings...]

"I am waiting your answers byss."

When I woke up at a sensible hour, I just told him he really needs to check my website before getting in touch again because he doesn't even have the first clue about me or my services!!!

Google translate?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 06 August 2014, 04:53:00 pm
Some joker no show from a few weeks ago just text me saying he was on my road and asking for my house number! He hadn't even asked if he could come and see me. Felt like writing something very abusive back but I have refrained.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dudette on 06 August 2014, 09:15:14 pm
I got this text a few months ago & deliberately kept it for the amusement & if he ever gets in touch again:

"Would you have a baby with me"

Ignored.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 06 August 2014, 09:29:43 pm
Quote from: Dudette on 06 August 2014, 09:15:14 pm
I got this text a few months ago & deliberately kept it for the amusement & if he ever gets in touch again:

"Would you have a baby with me"

Ignored.

"Grilled or fried?". Alternatively, ask about sauce options.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 07 August 2014, 10:09:36 am
Quote from: Just An Escort on 05 August 2014, 09:03:09 am
I got this text 3 days ago:

"Hi my friend ı found your number from website..ı wanna see you for 1 hour?howmuch is your price??and what is your service??"

Which I replied to politely with links to my website etc and never heard back.



See, I get this ALL the time. Emails from random guys who have "seen me on some website" but can't remember the name of it, and who want to know how much/where I'm located/what services. It got to the point a while back that I thought I must have been listed in some Asian catalogue or something, as 100% of the emails - from guys who don't know who I am/what I do/where I work - come from guys with North Asian names.

I did google my name, but nothing came up, so it's still a mystery. I'm afraid to say that now when I receive the "where are you, how much you charge, what do you do" messages, I ignore them. Because asking where they found my ad is futile, and suplying them with info has NEVER turned any of these enquiries into bookings.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeaBoy on 07 August 2014, 03:37:52 pm
This wasn't someone trying to book so I don't know if it counts, but I just got this message through a gay hookup site that lets escorts advertise:

Subject: DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Message: ewwwwwwwwwwwww

(I'm assuming this is a reference to the fact that I'm trans)

I wanted to send them a message back saying "your mum's disgusting", but they'd blocked me so I reported them for sending abusive messages instead.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheChemist on 07 August 2014, 07:03:10 pm
"Your gorgeous for 22 babe"

1) grammar

2) I'm past it already?  ::)

3) book or go away
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 07 August 2014, 07:43:53 pm
I've just had a guy try and book me. He's walking in my general direction so I give him my postcode and ask him to give me a call when he's worked out how long it will take him to get here. So he rings back with no idea how to get to me. I'm not directing him from wherever he is. Told him to go and look it up and call me another time when he knows where he's going.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 07 August 2014, 08:04:45 pm
Quote from: MissLarissa on 01 August 2014, 10:04:52 pm
Ahhh i love the "can you do BB" texts because i have so many free texts and i like to deal with people like this with a bit of crazy. For example:



Idiot: do you do BB?
Me: Bed and Breakfast?
Idiot: No, bareback
Me: You mean Beta Blockers? Basket Ball? Big Ben?

And so on, so i keep replying with one of the 197 acronyms for BB i found online.

ha ha  id like to have said whats bareback please ive never heard of it !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 07 August 2014, 10:57:13 pm
Damn I'm gutted to have gotten to the end of the thread. New to escorting and learned heaps from you guys. Such a funny thread
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissLarissa on 08 August 2014, 08:09:47 pm
Oh look at the opportunity i missed, so gutted!!

" Hi, I am looking to meet a girl who will let me in, turn round and bend over, remove her knickers and allow me to wank over her arse. I would like to take some photos and pay ?20 for this service, please let me know if you can offer this service, it will take between 5 and 10 minutes."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 08 August 2014, 08:55:27 pm
Hi baby :) you looking so hot so I thouht to text u.what are your rates.can we meet.Will u put short skirt?love to cum your face to how are u about
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 10 August 2014, 10:39:04 pm
I'm unsure whether to laugh or facedesk...

First message: "hey how much are you asking for and suck my cock in the car", followed by "hey you should get 1000 for one hour" and when I gave him a resounding thanks but no thanks, "oki no problem, two apiece here in town. and both of them are doing it for 1,000 full suite one hour". There are no other girls working in the town regularly side of me. Lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 11 August 2014, 01:08:40 pm
Email received, "Call me now!" Err, no!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 11 August 2014, 02:27:10 pm
Text: Hi do you do in car jobs?

Me: What, like valeting?

Text: Sorry wrong number
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 12 August 2014, 02:01:50 pm
'Hi there
I hope this isn't too cheeky but thought I try my luck
I'm a 30 year old White English female..I've always had special interest in b&d and being a sexual slave for another womAn ..I'm bi and had many experiences in the past with other women ..would you be keen to meet and go from there?'

.....ha ha ha ha ha....sure  *sends link to webpage with social rates*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 13 August 2014, 10:31:54 am
Organising a booking for tonight over email when he says this "I will have friends that will hit on u but that will be half the fun for me r u o.k. with that ? ? I will bring ?200 cash and will give it 2 u at the first direct opportunity" ... Errrr how about no?!
He said later in the same email "discretion is paramount to me"...  ::) fantasist.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Freya on 13 August 2014, 03:24:46 pm
Ha! Misread the first line Chloe and thought it said 'hit on your butt........' was thinking big asrsk for ?200!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlueDomme on 14 August 2014, 02:09:35 am
First few texts are inquiries about availability, location and rates which I reply to politely and with the requested info. Before trying to schedule I ask what he's into...

Him: U tell me what do u ? X

Me: [I have translated the above gibberish into "what do you do?" - when clients ask this they've normally contacted me without reading my profile and are looking for an escort.] I'm a pro-Domme, so I beat, humiliate, and objectify clients. I don't have sex with them.

Him: Mmmm can I get a massage? X

Me: That's not really my thing.

Him: And u can play with me.  ? X

Me: You're clearly not my type of client.

Him: Oh ryt sorry :(
Him: Can't u sort sumit out with me ?

Me: Not unless you want a caning.

Him: Mmmm I don't mind that but can't u like wank me off or sumit ?

Me: No I don't do that. You're wasting my credit, go away.

Him: Then what can u do beacuae I really wanna cum
Him: I'll pay u for ur creadit don't worry

Me: Find someone else.

Him: I don't want to beacuae I kind like yu
Him: Ok what if I cum And I'll wank my sen off u can do what ever u want with me ?
Him: That sound ok?
Him: ??
Him: ??
Him: Can u tell me so I can cum

Me: I don't want to see you.

Him: Ok am sorry if I gone over the top
Him: Will u see me now :(

Me: I'm not going to reply to anymore of your texts.

Him: That's proper harsh
Him: I am gunna pay u u know it's jus my 1st time doin this and am proper nervous
Him: Can't u even show me ? If I even like it or not ?
Him: ?
Him: ??
Him: ?

I'm not sure what he's new to, but I suspect it may be communicating with other humans. If he'd just responded to my "this is what I do" text with "I've never tried that but I'm curious can I come and you can show me and I'll see if I like it?" we would have had a WHOLE different conversation.

My favourite bit was the question mark texts at the end...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: frankiework on 14 August 2014, 12:06:10 pm
Message today -

'Hi I no it says you dont work from ur own home but im in ur area.
is it coz u have kids or sumfin dont worry i do to so i wudnt mind.
can b over at 12 xx'


hmmmm ignore


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 14 August 2014, 12:30:28 pm
"Can u keep shitting in your knickers 4 me to sniff pay u"...
and
"Hi would you offer a 5 min blowjob service please"...
and
"Helen u want good sex" x (not sure if thats a question or a statement)
and
"hi hun I just saw u on aw im new to this neva seen an escort b4 im 32 slim build 5ft 11 tall a gentleman good looking i think and clean. live in london and would love to know if ur single as i would love to take u on holiday to spain in 2 weeks if ur free ill pay 4u for 5 or 7 days in costa brava xxxxxx i got a really good job too. (if he had such a good job I would expect him to holiday somewhere more exotic than Costa Brava.)

Considering I dont do outcalls and my max incall is an hour it's clear the majority of men don't actually read the profiles.
Is it me or do other escorts dislike texters, I have it on my profile TELEPHONE CALLS ONLY!
I never reply to texts and I only reply to my emails with a "If you would like further details please call me"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mi on 14 August 2014, 03:20:52 pm
Ringing and texting me politely asking for a booking, as if i haven't told you five times before that i will not meet you, leave me alone.  And thinking the phrase 'quick easy money' will tempt me rather than piss me off.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosa on 14 August 2014, 05:56:27 pm
I'm staying in a very far off caravan park, I can send you a photo of the caravan as proof I'm there. I've loads of money on me, please?

Err, ummm no.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 14 August 2014, 08:36:25 pm
Quote from: Rosa on 14 August 2014, 05:56:27 pm
I'm staying in a very far off caravan park, I can send you a photo of the caravan as proof I'm there. I've loads of money on me, please?

Err, ummm no.

Then again being sent a picture of 'a caravan' would make a refeshing change!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 15 August 2014, 02:35:19 pm
After explaining to an idiot who text me, that I am a prossie and no I don't want to be his friend he came back wth this charmer.

Him: Do u take coke or anything

Me: No I bloody well don't you ignorant b****rd, don't contact me again. (The actual text was all in caps), can you tell I was peed off  :D

Him: Well most of my friends sell to wg's

I love the fact that because his friends sell to a couple of wg's then it obviously means every prossie in the world is a junkie. :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosa on 15 August 2014, 03:06:13 pm
It also makes most of his mates criminals, not something to boast about in a text message.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 15 August 2014, 03:17:40 pm
Quote from: Rosa on 15 August 2014, 03:06:13 pm
It also makes most of his mates criminals, not something to boast about in a text message.

Yes that too ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 16 August 2014, 03:02:10 pm
Just received a lovelyy message on AW...

Oryt ya dirty minx a would break you a new arse hole like x



Its the kiss at the end that made my knicker elastic snap I think
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 16 August 2014, 03:18:13 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 16 August 2014, 03:02:10 pm
Just received a lovelyy message on AW...

Oryt ya dirty minx a would break you a new arse hole like x



Its the kiss at the end that made my knicker elastic snap I think

Indeed. What an old romantic he is!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: frankiework on 16 August 2014, 04:12:23 pm
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 15 August 2014, 02:35:19 pm
After explaining to an idiot who text me, that I am a prossie and no I don't want to be his friend he came back wth this charmer.

Him: Do u take coke or anything

Me: No I bloody well don't you ignorant b****rd, don't contact me again. (The actual text was all in caps), can you tell I was peed off  :D

Him: Well most of my friends sell to wg's

I love the fact that because his friends sell to a couple of wg's then it obviously means every prossie in the world is a junkie. :FF

I've had quite a simular conversation a few weeks back.

After getting the fact I wont see him in exchange for C' and explaining I do not do any form of drugs, he then went on the say well I could buy some from him at (I believe his words were) 'an amazingly cheap price', then sell it on to my clients for higher price.

No thank you!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 16 August 2014, 04:29:18 pm
Quote from: frankiework on 16 August 2014, 04:12:23 pm
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 15 August 2014, 02:35:19 pm
After explaining to an idiot who text me, that I am a prossie and no I don't want to be his friend he came back wth this charmer.

Him: Do u take coke or anything

Me: No I bloody well don't you ignorant b****rd, don't contact me again. (The actual text was all in caps), can you tell I was peed off  :D

Him: Well most of my friends sell to wg's

I love the fact that because his friends sell to a couple of wg's then it obviously means every prossie in the world is a junkie. :FF

I've had quite a simular conversation a few weeks back.

After getting the fact I wont see him in exchange for C' and explaining I do not do any form of drugs, he then went on the say well I could buy some from him at (I believe his words were) 'an amazingly cheap price', then sell it on to my clients for higher price.

No thank you!!

I recently got a few texts/emails offering special deals! Just block.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: frankiework on 16 August 2014, 06:07:30 pm
Quote from: Charlotte-Paris on 16 August 2014, 04:29:18 pm
Quote from: frankiework on 16 August 2014, 04:12:23 pm
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 15 August 2014, 02:35:19 pm
After explaining to an idiot who text me, that I am a prossie and no I don't want to be his friend he came back wth this charmer.

Him: Do u take coke or anything

Me: No I bloody well don't you ignorant b****rd, don't contact me again. (The actual text was all in caps), can you tell I was peed off  :D

Him: Well most of my friends sell to wg's

I love the fact that because his friends sell to a couple of wg's then it obviously means every prossie in the world is a junkie. :FF

I've had quite a simular conversation a few weeks back.

After getting the fact I wont see him in exchange for C' and explaining I do not do any form of drugs, he then went on the say well I could buy some from him at (I believe his words were) 'an amazingly cheap price', then sell it on to my clients for higher price.

No thank you!!

I recently got a few texts/emails offering special deals! Just block.

I always do, they are instantly blocked or black listed once asked, including many that ask to take drugs during the booking.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sexy_Kitty on 17 August 2014, 05:01:07 am
I already deleted the message or I would just post it, but I got a request from a guy about rimming today-- he wanted to shove a chocolate bar up my arse and these eat it when it started to ooze out.

Of course had had no feedback. I assume he either got off on writing the message or just want to get my riled up with such a disgusting request.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 17 August 2014, 03:48:44 pm
if it's not too long after I've missed a call I text back saying sorry I missed your call please let me know a suitable time to call back, text someone this today after missing his inital call, he called back right away asking location, rates, services..(yawn) got him off the phone after telling him to check my profile and he texts me more or less right after hanging up with

"Looking to book later tonight do u mind if i cum c u first b4 bookin cos lot of fakes and timewasters bout lately"..

yeah and you're going into my list of them buddy  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: frankiework on 17 August 2014, 06:38:44 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 17 August 2014, 03:48:44 pm
if it's not too long after I've missed a call I text back saying sorry I missed your call please let me know a suitable time to call back, text someone this today after missing his inital call, he called back right away asking location, rates, services..(yawn) got him off the phone after telling him to check my profile and he texts me more or less right after hanging up with

"Looking to book later tonight do u mind if i cum c u first b4 bookin cos lot of fakes and timewasters bout lately"..

yeah and you're going into my list of them buddy  :D

Had similar thing a few weeks back when working at my incall place.
Guy rings up and asks couple of the usual questions then says
'Can I just come round make sure it's you in the pictures then decide if I want to book, plus i am nervous as it is first time, so want to be sure'.

I just hung up as had so many time wasters that day, but later on had a knock on the door, and didn't realise it was him until half way through talking.
He kept telling me if I say I am wearing a thong or show him he would book, wouldn't say to any one what I'm wearing under my dressing gown.
And then as expected I got the 'Ive just gotta pop to the cash point then will be right back'
So frustrating.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 17 August 2014, 07:35:05 pm
Email today.

Him, does size matter to you?

Me, size of what? Wallet, brain, feet, house?

Him, no cock, mine is 5"

Me, congratulations! Your point is?

Him, do you do cbt?

Me, yes I do everything on my profile, ring if you'd like to book.

Him, do you do castration?

Me, in your case yes.

Then blocked him, should have never replied but was bored, no intention of booking I know but it amused me for 5 minutes x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: frankiework on 17 August 2014, 09:02:35 pm
My favourite one this week.

'Hello there, I know this seems very out of the blue but I can promise you I am serious.
I see you live a long way away but I am desperate to see you.
I will pay for your train to glasgow one night this week (Please note I live in cambridge area) and you could come see me for an hour booking. How ever due to the price of the train I will only be able to pay 100, I guess I wouldn't mind if you cut it to 45minutes but i'm sure once you meet me you would want to stay longer.
You would have to get to mine for exactly 8pm and be gone not long after 9pm as my wife will be at work during those times and I do not want to push it too close.
I hope this arrangment sounds good to you, we could possibly make it a fornightly thing.
Ps train fare would be for coming here only you will have to arrange going home.
Also, if this doesn't sound good enough for you I guess i understand but is there any chance we could still put a booking through so we both get new feedback. xxxx

Sad that I have to turn down this offer hey! But considering it would cost me close to 150 for train, then with it being that late would have to stay in a hotel so add on another 60+ I just don't think I would be able to cope with going home 110 out of pocket.
Such a shame....

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KimberlyC on 18 August 2014, 08:10:38 am
That's weird - I got a couple of messages from some guy far away who was "desperate to see me." I think he was in Wales and I think his location was somewhere different (Liverpool?) the second time. But both times he was "desperate to see me." Didn't say anything about his wife but gave me a price he was willing to pay (something far too low for what he was asking for, even if I did entertain such bookings.)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 18 August 2014, 09:14:10 am
"i wanna suck u"

Am I a lollipop?  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 19 August 2014, 08:38:39 pm
I want you now or I want you tonight adultwork email messages  ( profile reads im on holiday until tour starts September, cant these adults read ? !!! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 19 August 2014, 08:54:00 pm
just spotted a RB on AW looking for 12 hours for ?150  :o


i earn more than that hourly rate in my day job!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 19 August 2014, 10:49:56 pm
Classic tonight, got an enquiry about coming for an incall, I replied saying I am not offering incalls at the mo. His reply:

Do you live at home?



I mean.....what? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sexy_Kitty on 20 August 2014, 12:02:54 am
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 19 August 2014, 08:54:00 pm
just spotted a RB on AW looking for 12 hours for ?150  :o


i earn more than that hourly rate in my day job!

I once big on a 12 hour RB and the guy emailed me saying the lowest offer was 200 pounds, could I beat it? I calculated it to like 15 an hour.... for 12 hours of fucking....  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 20 August 2014, 08:36:12 am
Quote from: Sexy_Kitty on 20 August 2014, 12:02:54 am
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 19 August 2014, 08:54:00 pm
just spotted a RB on AW looking for 12 hours for ?150  :o


i earn more than that hourly rate in my day job!

I once big on a 12 hour RB and the guy emailed me saying the lowest offer was 200 pounds, could I beat it? I calculated it to like 15 an hour.... for 12 hours of fucking....  ::)
He could cut costs, by a blow up doll from sex shop approx ?50.00 or more ( an investment for his future)  and keep going for hours , requires no social interaction or money haggling with escorts .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: starrynight on 21 August 2014, 06:59:33 pm
Got this is a text:

Client Hey u free today x

Me Hiya, yes I'm available with 30mins notice

Client Do u do anal x

Me No sorry I don't (clearly hasn't read my profile)

ClientCan we pretend to make a baby x

 ??? ??? ??? So is that a roundabout way to say "can we have sex"?  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 22 August 2014, 07:34:49 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 19 August 2014, 10:49:56 pm
Classic tonight, got an enquiry about coming for an incall, I replied saying I am not offering incalls at the mo. His reply:

Do you live at home?



I mean.....what? ???

He must think you live with parents lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 22 August 2014, 08:13:05 am

hi,

i'm jamie, 5 foot 10, medium build, short black hair.

can i be your first of the day please in birmingham if you have no one else in the morning? i've no credit so hope you can call/contact me, 07531xxxxxx, and be your first of the day. not able to log back on so hope to hear..

no credit so i'll just set off, should arrive mid morning depending on trafic.

if you have someone before me let me know before i set off

services, french kissing, swallow, pee in toilet for me, if you're ok with these please call

xxxxx

Where do I start? There's so much wrong with this email.
1. I dont do watersports,
2. I dont call clients.
3.I dont book incalls via an email.

Hes got 20 odd positive reviews and I think he thinks he can now book how HE likes but I think his approach is taking the piss.
Its all on my profile how to book an incall.
If he is daft enough to set off without speaking to me first he is going to have a wasted journey...this email makes me feel bloody mad.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 22 August 2014, 10:05:17 am
Quote from: starrynight on 21 August 2014, 06:59:33 pm
Got this is a text:

Client Hey u free today x

Me Hiya, yes I'm available with 30mins notice

Client Do u do anal x

Me No sorry I don't (clearly hasn't read my profile)

ClientCan we pretend to make a baby x

 ??? ??? ??? So is that a roundabout way to say "can we have sex"?  ;)

He might have a breeding/impregnation fetish - as long as he's not asking for BB of course!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: starrynight on 22 August 2014, 02:39:07 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 22 August 2014, 10:05:17 am
Quote from: starrynight on 21 August 2014, 06:59:33 pm
Got this is a text:

Client Hey u free today x

Me Hiya, yes I'm available with 30mins notice

Client Do u do anal x

Me No sorry I don't (clearly hasn't read my profile)

ClientCan we pretend to make a baby x

 ??? ??? ??? So is that a roundabout way to say "can we have sex"?  ;)

He might have a breeding/impregnation fetish - as long as he's not asking for BB of course!

Oh I've never heard of that fetish before. It's not the first time someone has asked this either. Yeah, more than likely wanting b.b so hasn't read a bean of my profile lol xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: starrynight on 22 August 2014, 02:43:17 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 22 August 2014, 08:13:05 am

hi,

i'm jamie, 5 foot 10, medium build, short black hair.

can i be your first of the day please in birmingham if you have no one else in the morning? i've no credit so hope you can call/contact me, 07531xxxxxx, and be your first of the day. not able to log back on so hope to hear..

no credit so i'll just set off, should arrive mid morning depending on trafic.

if you have someone before me let me know before i set off

services, french kissing, swallow, pee in toilet for me, if you're ok with these please call

xxxxx

Where do I start? There's so much wrong with this email.
1. I dont do watersports,
2. I dont call clients.
3.I dont book incalls via an email.

Hes got 20 odd positive reviews and I think he thinks he can now book how HE likes but I think his approach is taking the piss.
Its all on my profile how to book an incall.
If he is daft enough to set off without speaking to me first he is going to have a wasted journey...this email makes me feel bloody mad.

How convenient he has no credit AND unable to log back on.

He sounds like he has no common sense really lol xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 22 August 2014, 03:00:31 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 22 August 2014, 08:13:05 am

hi,

i'm jamie, 5 foot 10, medium build, short black hair.

can i be your first of the day please in birmingham if you have no one else in the morning? i've no credit so hope you can call/contact me, 07531xxxxxx, and be your first of the day. not able to log back on so hope to hear..

no credit so i'll just set off, should arrive mid morning depending on trafic.

if you have someone before me let me know before i set off

services, french kissing, swallow, pee in toilet for me, if you're ok with these please call

xxxxx

Where do I start? There's so much wrong with this email.
1. I dont do watersports,
2. I dont call clients.
3.I dont book incalls via an email.

Hes got 20 odd positive reviews and I think he thinks he can now book how HE likes but I think his approach is taking the piss.
Its all on my profile how to book an incall.
If he is daft enough to set off without speaking to me first he is going to have a wasted journey...this email makes me feel bloody mad.

im surprised his mobile battery wasn't dying  can I get the full address please im a total timewaster lol !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 24 August 2014, 10:37:29 am
Got this text out of the blue this morning (addressed to my working name):

"I fone up the Butcher today & i ask him has he got pigs feet he said yes  i ask him what shoe shop dus he use "

When I first read it I felt quite ill because I'm vegetarian and I thought it was a request for some kind of fetish involving pigs feet. But apparently it's an attempt at a joke. Not the first time I've randomly been sent bad taste jokes, I had a client a few years ago who I met once and would then text vaguely (and very) racist jokes to me every few months, I assumed he was one of those idiots who forwards 'funny' texts/emails on to his entire contact list and didn't realise he was sending it to the escort he met once.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 24 August 2014, 11:39:28 am
When they call me and I pick up and say hello and I hear "are you available?"
Don't call me if you're bloody unable to say hello!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 24 August 2014, 03:24:08 pm
Couple days ago I had a boy phone and say 'do you provide a full mature service?' I said what do you mean he said 'do you do the older lady service'.

If I ever get that again I will say oh you want me to whip you with my walking stick and tie you to my zimmerframe? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sugar on 24 August 2014, 08:55:32 pm
Him: can I book appointment?
Me: what time and how long?
Him: saturday 1pm , 30mins
Me: ok call on day between 8am-10.30am to confirm
Him: do you want to see a pic of me to show im genuine?
Me: its not really necessary. ..if you really want to you can......no X rated or cock pictures please.
Him: dont you want to check how big I am?  Im about 8inchs........
Me: no its fine babes.......just text on the day to confirm
Him: you know what dont worry about it.......changed my mind,  sorry
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 24 August 2014, 11:12:38 pm
Email received today:

Subject: Call me NOW 0123456789

Email content: (BLANK)


Yeah. Let me just bow down to your demands instantly, Mr Complete Random Stranger  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 25 August 2014, 01:34:20 pm
Text today.
"Can I fuck your anal?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 25 August 2014, 06:41:41 pm
Me today.
Phone ringing crazy since 8am.

Number 1) lovely incall. All good.
Number 2) spoke to him, rescheduled my regular for later. No show.
Number 3) he actually thought that when he sent me the email with the hotel it meant he booked me. So when he called to say he was late I just asked "late for what please?"
Number 4) was my regular who in the end couldn't do the time I suggested so I made him waste his morning for nothing.
Number 5) was top. He called me trying to speak with a very posh accent (why? Oh but why?) He then asked me my rates, my dress size, my...profile name (??????!!!!!). When he asked me if size 14 is much bigger than size 8 I kind of lost it and told him to just f*** off.
Number 6) emailed saying he wants to book but has no credit could I call him back. Ok but how on earth will you pay me then, you dumb thing???

Ok. For one day it's enough. I'm in bed and drinking nice wine. Won't pick up until tomorrow !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheChemist on 25 August 2014, 08:56:16 pm
Text today: "When can I fuck ur brains out?"

Me: "Never."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 25 August 2014, 09:58:38 pm
Call today.
The guy asked: are you free in one hour?
Me, yes I am.

Guy: ok, let me get back to you as I ait for another girl to confirm.

Me: ok. Then blocked  ;D

If he was smart, he wouldnt mention the other girl at all and I would have had answer his blocked call 5 minutes later.

His loss, as I gain a new lovely future regular instead of the idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 25 August 2014, 10:05:28 pm
Quote from: hotblondie Bristol on 25 August 2014, 09:58:38 pm
Call today.
The guy asked: are you free in one hour?
Me, yes I am.

Guy: ok, let me get back to you as I ait for another girl to confirm.

Me: ok. Then blocked  ;D

If he was smart, he wouldnt mention the other girl at all and I would have had answer his blocked call 5 minutes later.

His loss, as I gain a new lovely future regular instead of the idiot.

Dickhead;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Melanie on 26 August 2014, 08:11:08 pm
'I really like your ad offering domme services and would like to explore my submissive side. Insert long text about what they want out of a session, how intelligent they are, how good looking etc. But, I hope you understand since I am a student/unemployed I can not afford your fee. Would you consider a free date?'

Delete!!!! On the odd occasion I did reply I inadvertently started a discussion. I ended it with saying: you don't walk into a Louis Vuitton store saying you really like and want this bag, it would look great on you but hey.... you can not afford and can they please give it to you. If the answer is no, please don't ask me this question.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 26 August 2014, 08:27:26 pm
On a par with "Available?" is this one, in fact I might hate it even more; "?".  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 26 August 2014, 08:34:32 pm
He calls this morning. I really couldn't make much out of his English but he sounded nice. Asks for Thu.

Then I get this:
"Yes please tell me this agent or private"

Followed by this:
"You have any under agency. .or you warking your self"

Finally this:
"Is fine because I don't like agency true not cleaning. ..not good service."

Okkkk so does he want a cleaning lady??? Or what???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 26 August 2014, 08:57:01 pm
Quote from: Charlotte-Paris on 26 August 2014, 08:34:32 pm
He calls this morning. I really couldn't make much out of his English but he sounded nice. Asks for Thu.

Then I get this:
"Yes please tell me this agent or private"

Followed by this:
"You have any under agency. .or you warking your self"

Finally this:
"Is fine because I don't like agency true not cleaning. ..not good service."



Okkkk so does he want a cleaning lady??? Or what???

Lol, that made me laugh.. :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 26 August 2014, 08:59:16 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 25 August 2014, 01:34:20 pm
Text today.
"Can I fuck your anal?"
Id want to reply with I don't have one !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: alice842 on 26 August 2014, 09:37:36 pm
Had an email on AW today 'What do you look like?'

There are over two hundred photos in my galleries  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 27 August 2014, 08:08:59 am
"I need 1hr pls text your address cheers xx"

How do some of these guys even get jobs so they can pay for sex?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 27 August 2014, 08:21:17 am
Quote from: alice842 on 26 August 2014, 09:37:36 pm
Had an email on AW today 'What do you look like?'

There are over two hundred photos in my galleries  ::)
Ive had that and asked  them "cant you see my profile" ? whats the matter with these men?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 27 August 2014, 11:35:46 pm
Just got a phone call. 23:30. Said no. He insists. Said no again.
Then him "you sure you don't wanna fuck a bit more?"
Me "but I'm gonna fuck a bit more. Just not with you"

And blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: indieandflo on 28 August 2014, 04:52:19 pm
Email at 3.30am:"Bet you want my cock in your sissy pussy you bitch"
My reply:"Wow that is no way to talk to a lady."
Him:"Oh my god I'm soooo sorry that was my friend! You want my cock though?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: indieandflo on 28 August 2014, 04:55:35 pm
Him: could you do oral without for ?20 and some weed?
Me: No sorry.
Him: Fucking whores I could get a girl to suck my dick for a tenner.
Me: Good luck with that, Goodbye.
Him: Dirty hookers should be paying me!

An hour later

Him: so you ready to meet can pay for half hour
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 28 August 2014, 05:02:52 pm
Quote from: indieandflo on 28 August 2014, 04:52:19 pm
Email at 3.30am:"Bet you want my cock in your sissy pussy you bitch"
My reply:"Wow that is no way to talk to a lady."
Him:"Oh my god I'm soooo sorry that was my friend! You want my cock though?"

I find after midnight they tend to lose it a bit. Lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: indieandflo on 28 August 2014, 05:05:30 pm
Quote from: Charlotte-Paris on 28 August 2014, 05:02:52 pm
Quote from: indieandflo on 28 August 2014, 04:52:19 pm
Email at 3.30am:"Bet you want my cock in your sissy pussy you bitch"
My reply:"Wow that is no way to talk to a lady."
Him:"Oh my god I'm soooo sorry that was my friend! You want my cock though?"

I find after midnight they tend to lose it a bit. Lol!

I know! We normally get really sweet or sexy emails but at around 3am we get crazy horny men saying the first thing they can think of!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 28 August 2014, 05:53:38 pm
Quote from: indieandflo on 28 August 2014, 05:05:30 pm
Quote from: Charlotte-Paris on 28 August 2014, 05:02:52 pm
Quote from: indieandflo on 28 August 2014, 04:52:19 pm
Email at 3.30am:"Bet you want my cock in your sissy pussy you bitch"
My reply:"Wow that is no way to talk to a lady."
Him:"Oh my god I'm soooo sorry that was my friend! You want my cock though?"

I find after midnight they tend to lose it a bit. Lol!

I know! We normally get really sweet or sexy emails but at around 3am we get crazy horny men saying the first thing they can think of!

I did something "bad" the other day.
My phone is on silent after 22:00 so I don't care. But I woke up in the morning early and saw I had 5 missed calls.
I texted them all: good morning, how are you?
At 6am lol!
I really hope I woke them up!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 29 August 2014, 01:30:08 pm
Well my profile hasn't even been up for a day and I have a guy emailing me wanting to spit on his face and in his mouth for an hour. Now, in spite of an hour being a bit long, I wouldn't have minded, but then he says he doesn't have a place I can visit (I'm outcalls only) and wants me to do it in the back of his van! Byebye...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: indieandflo on 29 August 2014, 06:19:43 pm
Quote from: victoryrose on 29 August 2014, 01:30:08 pm
Well my profile hasn't even been up for a day and I have a guy emailing me wanting to spit on his face and in his mouth for an hour. Now, in spite of an hour being a bit long, I wouldn't have minded, but then he says he doesn't have a place I can visit (I'm outcalls only) and wants me to do it in the back of his van! Byebye...
Haha oh my god. We had someone ask for me and my partner to do a sex show (which was fine) but he then said he didn't want to come to us and wanted us to do it in his tiny car.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 30 August 2014, 04:55:26 pm
One phoned today and said he's 22 and would I like to get pregnant?

Another has asked 'how much is it to keep you for a whole day'. I replied sorry, no one keeps me. 'OK to have you then' he replied.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 30 August 2014, 05:00:08 pm
Him: I wanna come now!!!!!

Yes, with five exclamation points...!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 30 August 2014, 06:23:47 pm
Phone rings about 5.05pm and guy wants to see me ASAP. I tell him I can do 6 and my price for 30 minutes. He goes, "What?! Can you do it for ?50?" So I tell him no, he should ring someone else. Then he starts begging me to do it for ?50 to which I keep saying no. He then says ok he'll see me for my proper rate. But by now I've had enough of his voice and say bye and hang up.I quickly blocked his number. The app I use shows how many times a number has been blocked and in the next 50 minutes he rang about 20 times! Desperate much?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 30 August 2014, 08:44:48 pm
I hate it when they just get my number but bloody read nothing!

Him: how much for one hour?
Me: good afternoon. It's ... as you can see on my profile.
Him: how old are you?
Me: again, you can see it on my profile.

Him: hangs up
Me: blocked. Et voil? !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jessica2017 on 30 August 2014, 10:38:21 pm
I have got 8 texts from 1 guy just saying "Can I come now bbe?" over the course of a month. I answered him once but he just kept repeating the same text over and over again.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 31 August 2014, 12:07:34 am
Quote from: Red KB on 30 August 2014, 06:23:47 pm
Phone rings about 5.05pm and guy wants to see me ASAP. I tell him I can do 6 and my price for 30 minutes. He goes, "What?! Can you do it for ?50?" So I tell him no, he should ring someone else. Then he starts begging me to do it for ?50 to which I keep saying no. He then says ok he'll see me for my proper rate. But by now I've had enough of his voice and say bye and hang up.I quickly blocked his number. The app I use shows how many times a number has been blocked and in the next 50 minutes he rang about 20 times! Desperate much?!

Sounds more like a stalker to me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 31 August 2014, 10:02:29 am
I think he just wanted his own way. He's not rung back since :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 01 September 2014, 12:09:07 pm
I wasn't working yesterday and was out of my house all day without my work phone. I came home to missed calls [removed] and texts which I don't respond to anyway.

"Can I make a booking."

"Am in ****** so close"

"Been wanting to meet you for ages"

"And you call yourself an escort"

Maybe I shouldn't have replied but I did and said I wasn't working and he will never meet me. Ooops. Then I blocked him.

However, my block history shows he sent a further text saying, "Fuk off u tranny." (I'm not even a TV). Then, "Boring."

He still keeps ringing but the calls don't get through thanks to the blocking app.



[Number removed and merged into appropriate thread - this does not merit a warning post]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 01 September 2014, 04:12:30 pm
Sorry, thought I had put it in the ranting about section...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 01 September 2014, 05:35:05 pm
On coach to destination I get a call..
can u suck my cock for a fiver ::)
 I just put phone down
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 02 September 2014, 03:01:06 pm
From AW today. Pretty sure it's a cut and paste job as he says must have big tits. If he'd looked at my profile he'd know whether I had them or not!

"Im possably seeking the impossible here, but here goes anyway!.
Im looking to arrange a booking with a BUSTY escort (no small tits please)
who can arrange with one of her regular male clients to allow me to sit
and watch the two of you during his session. I will be naked, watching,
playing with myself. Straight after his session has finished I would be
requiring fucking you myself.
Just kind of got this fantasy to watch a punter with an escort then doing
her myself. (Not a threesome situation, and MUST be big tits.
Date and time can be arranged."

I'm sure all of my regulars would be thrilled for him to sit in on a booking.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 02 September 2014, 07:58:33 pm
A guy booked me for this evening. We spoke 2 days ago, all perfect.
Then today 8am he starts texting. Texting crazy.

First: he hints at bareback.
Then asks me if I'm real since his friend had a bad experience in Thailand.
Then he starts a list of everything he'd like to fit into his one hour booking.

So I say I'm no longer seeing him.

First I get: why???
Then I get : cheap whore.
Finally I get: fucking trans.

Errrr seriously? Block.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat. on 03 September 2014, 01:25:20 am
A guy wanted to book for 6.30 tonite I said I couldn't make it can do 6.15, he agreed, I rushed back from town for his booking, then by the time,
He txt: I'm outside, ready when you are.
ME: Ok give me 2 mins, I will call you back x

When I call and tell him to the flat number

After 2 mins
Me: Everything ok?
Him: Yep x

After 5 mins
Me: Are you coming or not?
Him: I'm really nervous, never done this before x
Me: ...well are you still want to come up?

I called, no answer, I blocked him
After 10 mins
Him: I'm sorry, will you still see me?
Me: Sorry have no time for this, will be blocking you, should you find another girl x
Him: Never mind, you shouldn't have messed me about in the 1st place, I've been sat at home with my feet up while you lost this booking

....Seriously?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 03 September 2014, 10:04:56 am
Logged on aw this morning and some idiot had put a booking request through at 3.15am for an outcall at 3.30am!
I hate it when they just put bookings through without ringing first but who would actually think we are up all night checking bookings ready to leave with 15 minutes notice!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlueDomme on 03 September 2014, 04:07:24 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 02 September 2014, 03:01:06 pm
From AW today. Pretty sure it's a cut and paste job as he says must have big tits. If he'd looked at my profile he'd know whether I had them or not!

"Im possably seeking the impossible here, but here goes anyway!.
Im looking to arrange a booking with a BUSTY escort (no small tits please)
who can arrange with one of her regular male clients to allow me to sit
and watch the two of you during his session. I will be naked, watching,
playing with myself. Straight after his session has finished I would be
requiring fucking you myself.
Just kind of got this fantasy to watch a punter with an escort then doing
her myself. (Not a threesome situation, and MUST be big tits.
Date and time can be arranged."

I'm sure all of my regulars would be thrilled for him to sit in on a booking.
I got the same one. I don't even do sex!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 04 September 2014, 11:39:05 am
Quote from: Cat. on 03 September 2014, 01:25:20 am
A guy wanted to book for 6.30 tonite I said I couldn't make it can do 6.15, he agreed, I rushed back from town for his booking, then by the time,
He txt: I'm outside, ready when you are.
ME: Ok give me 2 mins, I will call you back x

When I call and tell him to the flat number

After 2 mins
Me: Everything ok?
Him: Yep x

After 5 mins
Me: Are you coming or not?
Him: I'm really nervous, never done this before x
Me: ...well are you still want to come up?

I called, no answer, I blocked him
After 10 mins
Him: I'm sorry, will you still see me?
Me: Sorry have no time for this, will be blocking you, should you find another girl x
Him: Never mind, you shouldn't have messed me about in the 1st place, I've been sat at home with my feet up while you lost this booking

....Seriously?
I had one calling himself  fred said he wanted to see me asap I watched him out the window  he turned up, turned car round and drove off . I called him asked him what time he was turning up  he said he couldn't make it after all  yet he had said he was there! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 04 September 2014, 01:09:40 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 03 September 2014, 10:04:56 am
Logged on aw this morning and some idiot had put a booking request through at 3.15am for an outcall at 3.30am!
I hate it when they just put bookings through without ringing first but who would actually think we are up all night checking bookings ready to leave with 15 minutes notice!

They must think it's like ordering through Just Eat, order on line and hey presto at your door in half an hour.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 04 September 2014, 06:52:34 pm
I've not long ago had one call to book a half hour later on who sounded timewastery (in that vague way) but otherwise OK, so I asked him to ring and confirm half an hour before the booking as I didn't want to give my hotel details until I knew he was coming. He's just texted to ask if he can smoke, and when I said no he cancelled. For half an hour.

Even if he was genuine (which I doubt) I never want to find out what kissing somebody who can't go without cigarettes for half an hour is like :-X.

Quote from: Carnal Carmel on 04 September 2014, 01:09:40 pm
They must think it's like ordering through Just Eat, order on line and hey presto at your door in half an hour.
:D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sexy_Kitty on 07 September 2014, 09:28:46 am
I had planned to take 6 weeks off from work and so updated it in my profile two weeks before it would begin letting people know when I would be taking off... it's in bold and italics at the very top of the page. Not only did I continue to get messages from people asking to book me in advance for when I would be gone, but now that it says that I'm not working, I'm still getting 3-4 AW emails a day, 5-6 texts, and 7 or 8 phone calls. I don't understand why it's so complicated to read the first sentence of my profile?

I state in the 3rd sentence to contact me if you want to make a booking for my return but I will not be responding to messages asking about making a booking now... they annoy me so I just delete them. This lovely man sent me a booking request without even contacting me, so I sent him an email saying if he had read my profile then he would see that a) you cannot just put a booking request through, you have to contact me and b) I'm not available right now, to which I got this:

Yeah I saw that but assumed you would make an exception for me. How much.

Two which I responded:
I'm not working right now, there is no price.

To which he responded:
Well, if you don't make an exception for me then I will leave you negative feedback saying you are ugly and not what you look like in your pictures.

Blackmailing me for a booking? How sweet! I told him to go to town.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 07 September 2014, 02:31:53 pm
'Hi are you whoreing today?'...what a little charmer and so good at spelling as well!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 07 September 2014, 02:34:56 pm
Sexy Kitty, try reporting him to aw. I got an email from someone wanting trade feedback without meeting and they acted on it.

Also, try blocking out all of that time as unavailable in your availability calendar.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 08 September 2014, 02:23:30 pm
Just had a caller ask if I do anything not listed on my profile.
do I offer any sex service without condom( my services clearly listed for adults whom can  read) .
I said I put phone down on you without condom!! ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sexy_Kitty on 08 September 2014, 06:00:43 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 07 September 2014, 02:34:56 pm
Sexy Kitty, try reporting him to aw. I got an email from someone wanting trade feedback without meeting and they acted on it.

Also, try blocking out all of that time as unavailable in your availability calendar.

thanks, I didn't think of this! He never acted on it, I knew he was full of shit. I've guy do the "how much" thing before when I've said I'm not available and it fucking PISSES me off... I can't even imagine how much of a boundary pusher they must be.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 08 September 2014, 07:34:11 pm
Quote from: Sexy_Kitty on 08 September 2014, 06:00:43 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 07 September 2014, 02:34:56 pm
Sexy Kitty, try reporting him to aw. I got an email from someone wanting trade feedback without meeting and they acted on it.

Also, try blocking out all of that time as unavailable in your availability calendar.

thanks, I didn't think of this! He never acted on it, I knew he was full of shit. I've guy do the "how much" thing before when I've said I'm not available and it fucking PISSES me off... I can't even imagine how much of a boundary pusher they must be.

I went away for 4 weeks and can't recommend doing this more!
I have received neutral feedbacks saying I ignore emails etc before because someone sent booking requests knowing I was away and expected me to become available for him. So this year when I was abroad I blocked out availability completely and also added a holiday into my AW schedule. I came back to loads of emails though so I would also suggest an auto-reply explaining that you are away :) x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosa on 10 September 2014, 06:03:24 pm
Just had someone calling me baby asking me for an overnight in a city an 80 minute drive from me. He says none of the many Escorts in that city are as pretty as I am ;D

He wasn't prepared to prove his address, that he is where he says he is on reason that I could be running some sort of 'scam on his name'.

Fair enough, I'll stay where I'm already mostly fully booked for the week and make similar money without having to drive out of the area or do anything illegal such as scamming people.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: starrynight on 11 September 2014, 07:57:31 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 26 March 2014, 03:44:23 pm
This is a rather random one! Just got this text:

"Hiya hunni.its mistress brooke hampton here.could you help me out with something please xx "

When I Googled the phone number the top result was the Twitter account of a girl called Brooke Hampton who is a US college student as far as I can tell, so not sure how her Twitter has been linked to a UK mobile number.

I also found a result on a page called "The phone book of Howells Travis" where the number is listed as belonging to someone with a distinctly male name who lives in the UK.

Also a Google search for "mistress brooke hampton" bring up a couple of backpage ads of a Mistress Brooke based in the US in a place called Hampton.

No results on Saafe or any of the usual bad client type places, and I don't intend to reply, just wondering if anyone else has encountered this before or knows how searching a UK phone number can get a US person's Twitter as a Google result? If it wasn't for these weird Google results I would have already ignored and moved on after receiving a message from someone clearly hoping to get off on pretending to be another escort (I've been fooled by that one before!).

I've just got this exact same text!! This thread came up when I googled her name "Mistress Brooke Hampton". I wonder if others have had this?

I didn't have any suspicions until I found this thread. She basically asked me if I'd see one of her slaves, not for a domination session, just as a normal booking I provide to my other clients. She also said that she'd made him get breast implants of a 34DD a few weeks ago.

I thought, 'oooh best of both worlds' in a sense lol.

I wonder if this is someone to mention in the warnings section? Admin, what do u think?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 11 September 2014, 10:42:21 pm
How funny that my post is now the top result for this person's name!

I can't say I've heard from them since March, and I assume that if they were a genuine mistress then there would be a website and profiles on various directories that would come up and apart from that same US college student's Twitter there still doesn't seem to be anything around - just a fantasist timewaster who should continue to be ignored I think!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 11 September 2014, 10:52:14 pm
Quote from: starrynight on 11 September 2014, 07:57:31 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 26 March 2014, 03:44:23 pm
This is a rather random one! Just got this text:

"Hiya hunni.its mistress brooke hampton here.could you help me out with something please xx "

When I Googled the phone number the top result was the Twitter account of a girl called Brooke Hampton who is a US college student as far as I can tell, so not sure how her Twitter has been linked to a UK mobile number.

I also found a result on a page called "The phone book of Howells Travis" where the number is listed as belonging to someone with a distinctly male name who lives in the UK.

Also a Google search for "mistress brooke hampton" bring up a couple of backpage ads of a Mistress Brooke based in the US in a place called Hampton.

No results on Saafe or any of the usual bad client type places, and I don't intend to reply, just wondering if anyone else has encountered this before or knows how searching a UK phone number can get a US person's Twitter as a Google result? If it wasn't for these weird Google results I would have already ignored and moved on after receiving a message from someone clearly hoping to get off on pretending to be another escort (I've been fooled by that one before!).

I've just got this exact same text!! This thread came up when I googled her name "Mistress Brooke Hampton". I wonder if others have had this?

I didn't have any suspicions until I found this thread. She basically asked me if I'd see one of her slaves, not for a domination session, just as a normal booking I provide to my other clients. She also said that she'd made him get breast implants of a 34DD a few weeks ago.

I thought, 'oooh best of both worlds' in a sense lol.

I wonder if this is someone to mention in the warnings section? Admin, what do u think?

I've also had the exact same text, didn't even bother to reply as I just can't see a genuine female escort randomly texting another escort like that!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: avery on 12 September 2014, 10:16:35 am
Got a mail today of a punter asking if he could do ponyplay while licking my latex dress clean. Not sure if ponies do such things actually but I was assured by my parlour that the client was genuine. Told him to be a puppy and he could ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 12 September 2014, 01:36:22 pm
I get a picture of that 20-something idiot.
Me: who on earth is this?

Him: the stallion who's gonna fuck u tomorrow.

Me: I don't think so. Blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 12 September 2014, 03:39:20 pm
Hmm more like the donkey who will be sat having a wank as usual rather than having sex with a real live woman eh?
Anyway...nice polite enquiry asking if I was working Saturday and my rates.No problem.Then I get 'Have you got many bookings in on Saturday?'..my dander starts to rise....'I'm not sure why you wish to know that...'..'Well what it is I like to go down on a girl when she has seen other blokes'...'I use condoms love..'
'Oh I didn't mean that I like to make sure they are already sensitive and wet when I lick them so they are already feeling pleasure...'
'Ah ok so basically you presume I don't want to wash after the booking before you,I want to hang around with a wet fanny until you deign to come round and lick me or you are so lazy and crap at reverse oral you can't get me wet even with your saliva?'
'Hmmm yeah sounds daft when you put it like that..'..'Yup I think we will leave it...'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: starrynight on 12 September 2014, 03:58:51 pm
Quote from: BJC on 11 September 2014, 10:52:14 pm
Quote from: starrynight on 11 September 2014, 07:57:31 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 26 March 2014, 03:44:23 pm
This is a rather random one! Just got this text:

"Hiya hunni.its mistress brooke hampton here.could you help me out with something please xx "

When I Googled the phone number the top result was the Twitter account of a girl called Brooke Hampton who is a US college student as far as I can tell, so not sure how her Twitter has been linked to a UK mobile number.

I also found a result on a page called "The phone book of Howells Travis" where the number is listed as belonging to someone with a distinctly male name who lives in the UK.

Also a Google search for "mistress brooke hampton" bring up a couple of backpage ads of a Mistress Brooke based in the US in a place called Hampton.

No results on Saafe or any of the usual bad client type places, and I don't intend to reply, just wondering if anyone else has encountered this before or knows how searching a UK phone number can get a US person's Twitter as a Google result? If it wasn't for these weird Google results I would have already ignored and moved on after receiving a message from someone clearly hoping to get off on pretending to be another escort (I've been fooled by that one before!).

I've just got this exact same text!! This thread came up when I googled her name "Mistress Brooke Hampton". I wonder if others have had this?

I didn't have any suspicions until I found this thread. She basically asked me if I'd see one of her slaves, not for a domination session, just as a normal booking I provide to my other clients. She also said that she'd made him get breast implants of a 34DD a few weeks ago.

I thought, 'oooh best of both worlds' in a sense lol.

I wonder if this is someone to mention in the warnings section? Admin, what do u think?

I've also had the exact same text, didn't even bother to reply as I just can't see a genuine female escort randomly texting another escort like that!

I replied thinking maybe she's said to her slave that she's going to book another escort for him.  I have had escorts text me in the past before, so just thought it was another :-) xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: starrynight on 12 September 2014, 04:01:32 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 11 September 2014, 10:42:21 pm
How funny that my post is now the top result for this person's name!

I can't say I've heard from them since March, and I assume that if they were a genuine mistress then there would be a website and profiles on various directories that would come up and apart from that same US college student's Twitter there still doesn't seem to be anything around - just a fantasist timewaster who should continue to be ignored I think!

Yeah I googled her number and that twitter site came up, but she didn't come across as an escort :-/ Or at least an escort-type twitter account.  Yeah, your post was the first one I clicked lol then I clicked the one I replied to.  I don't know how to multi-quote lol.

There's certainly some strange people about :-) xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: starrynight on 12 September 2014, 04:04:29 pm
Quote from: avery on 12 September 2014, 10:16:35 am
Got a mail today of a punter asking if he could do ponyplay while licking my latex dress clean. Not sure if ponies do such things actually but I was assured by my parlour that the client was genuine. Told him to be a puppy and he could ;)

I had someone ask me if he could sit on my back and me be like a horse.  I went ahead with the booking when he described what he wanted.  Really charming bloke, didn't put too much weight on me and seemed incredibly turned on.  Quite an easy booking tbh lol xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: starrynight on 12 September 2014, 04:09:29 pm
Quote from: bibi on 12 September 2014, 03:39:20 pm
Hmm more like the donkey who will be sat having a wank as usual rather than having sex with a real live woman eh?
Anyway...nice polite enquiry asking if I was working Saturday and my rates.No problem.Then I get 'Have you got many bookings in on Saturday?'..my dander starts to rise....'I'm not sure why you wish to know that...'..'Well what it is I like to go down on a girl when she has seen other blokes'...'I use condoms love..'
'Oh I didn't mean that I like to make sure they are already sensitive and wet when I lick them so they are already feeling pleasure...'
'Ah ok so basically you presume I don't want to wash after the booking before you,I want to hang around with a wet fanny until you deign to come round and lick me or you are so lazy and crap at reverse oral you can't get me wet even with your saliva?'
'Hmmm yeah sounds daft when you put it like that..'..'Yup I think we will leave it...'

I hate it when clients ask if I have any other bookings.  It's going to go one way or the other, isn't it, whether I say yes or no.  I hate it when they ask on the phone, particularly.  Yeah, I don't like being unwashed even when they request it xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sexy_Kitty on 12 September 2014, 08:10:01 pm
Quote from: chloe_ on 08 September 2014, 07:34:11 pm
I came back to loads of emails though so I would also suggest an auto-reply explaining that you are away :) x

Thanks, I blocked out my availability but can't figure out how to do an automated email reply?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 12 September 2014, 08:28:59 pm
You need to go into your personal details/registration stuff and tick it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sexy_Kitty on 12 September 2014, 09:01:46 pm
^thanks! figured it out x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 12 September 2014, 10:12:54 pm
Text this evening,
"Can I have your address"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 13 September 2014, 12:10:17 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 12 September 2014, 10:12:54 pm
Text this evening,
"Can I have your address"
this is where you can add local police address and postcode !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 13 September 2014, 01:25:00 pm
Now added to my blocked list, here's a recent exchange of emails I've just had with a guy I've never seen or spoken to before. This is a classic case of wanting to Top from the Bottom. And, apparantly, because clients pay us for sex, we are their employees??! Funniest thing I've heard this weekend.

HIM:
Dear Mistress Cat. hello mistress my name is ***. i'm 44yrs old 5ft 9inch tall & i'm from manchester. Dear Mistress i think you look awesome & i would like to book you for 2hrs facesitting & squashing please.
i would like to know if you would be willing to come to a hotel in manchester because i'm unfamiliar with hotels in london. i already have details of a manchester hotel that i would like to use (obviously with your permission) the hotel is the *** & it's location is barely a 5 minutes walk from ***.
yours respectfully
***.

AND THEN ANOTHER FROM HIM:
Dear Mistress Cat. if you have any questions for me or if you feel i've left out any details? then please don't hesitate to ask.
yours respectfully
***.


ME:
Hi ***
I'm sorry, but I have no plans to visit Manchester. Do let me know if you ever come to London and we can arrange something then.
Regards
Cx

HIM:
don't take this the wrong way lady but it's usually considered good manners to reply to something like a booking request (but hey what the heck if you don't want my money)

ME:
Don't take this the wrong way, dear, but it's considered extremely bad manners to harrass a lady just because you don't receive a reply within YOUR timeframe. Plus you make all the right noises about subbing, then act like a flakey fake and start stamping your little foot when you don't get your own way.

As it is, I DID reply, so it's even more rude to assume that I haven't replied. Perhaps blaming your email processor would be a more logical - and polite - first step?

My reply said - basically - sorry I am not planning to visit Manchester at the moment.

Yours, respectfully,

Catherine

HIM:
Dear Mistress Cat. harassing? nothing like it i only sent you 3 email's 1 was 1st contact requesting a booking! 2nd was a polite way of saying if i've missed out any details? then please ask! flakey fake? ha ha:) i am no fake? that's an unusual but quite funny insult:) so how you figure out that i was harassing you after only 3 emails is quite puzzling? you're right to assume that i didn't get your "reply" as for my requesting you to come to manchester. i would indeed want you to come to manchester but i would be covering your travel expenses! plus your booking fee & the hotel expenses as well "i would even be willing to pay you your booking fee full & upfront then once you have confirmation then we arrange a date/time for the booking to take place! the hotel i mentioned is very easy to get to because i'm assuming it would be easier for you to get to manchester via train! & the *** hotel is practically 5mins walk from the train station! it's address is [hotel address]
[hotel phone number]
[hotel reception email]
[hotel website]
so you can check out this hotel & it's location & then you'll know i'm no flakey fake? & once we're in the hotel room & you're sitting nice & comfy on my face then you'll know for definite that i'm not messing you around.
dear mistress please give me a chance to redeem myself. i didn't intend to cause you any upset by the way i worded my email. & so i ask you please allow my booking & judge for yourself whether or not i'm worthy of being your "slave"
yours respectfully ***.

ME:
I'm sorry, I am not able to visit Manchester right now.
Catherine

HIM:
Dear Mistress Cat. i hereby withdraw my booking request! & this is my reason why! you may well be a mistress? but you seem to forget that if i'm paying you to sit on my face then you are effectively my employee! i quite generously offered to cover your travel expenses as well as the hotel fee & obviously your booking fee if you was to come to manchester. if the way you reacted to me by insulting me & calling me a flakey fake? is anything to go by then i'm quite surprised if you have any client's because the way you spoke to me was.....similar to what i'd expect from a child!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 13 September 2014, 01:31:14 pm
Quote from: Erotic flower on 13 September 2014, 12:10:17 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 12 September 2014, 10:12:54 pm
Text this evening,
"Can I have your address"
this is where you can add local police address and postcode !!!
I've often wondered would any hooker actually take a booking from a guy like this? I am gonna give out police station details in future x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 13 September 2014, 01:35:44 pm
I am often quite tempted to reply with 'Sure I'll give out my address to someone I have never spoken to and who can't even politely ring up and make an appointment.
Its 666,Fuck off Drive,Not on your nelliesville,Getagripshire!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 13 September 2014, 01:41:09 pm
Quote from: bibi on 13 September 2014, 01:35:44 pm
I am often quite tempted to reply with 'Sure I'll give out my address to someone I have never spoken to and who can't even politely ring up and make an appointment.
Its 666,Fuck off Drive,Not on your nelliesville,Getagripshire!
Ha ha ha, I text back who is this? He text "you don't know me I got your number from aw, I want 9pm"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 13 September 2014, 01:48:46 pm
EMAIL  Hi im just divorced and looking for fun , you look like my wife are you available ?
No im not  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 13 September 2014, 04:08:24 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 13 September 2014, 01:25:00 pm
Now added to my blocked list, here's a recent exchange of emails I've just had with a guy I've never seen or spoken to before. This is a classic case of wanting to Top from the Bottom. And, apparantly, because clients pay us for sex, we are their employees??! Funniest thing I've heard this weekend.

HIM:
Dear Mistress Cat. hello mistress my name is ***. i'm 44yrs old 5ft 9inch tall & i'm from manchester. Dear Mistress i think you look awesome & i would like to book you for 2hrs facesitting & squashing please.
i would like to know if you would be willing to come to a hotel in manchester because i'm unfamiliar with hotels in london. i already have details of a manchester hotel that i would like to use (obviously with your permission) the hotel is the *** & it's location is barely a 5 minutes walk from ***.
yours respectfully
***.

AND THEN ANOTHER FROM HIM:
Dear Mistress Cat. if you have any questions for me or if you feel i've left out any details? then please don't hesitate to ask.
yours respectfully
***.


ME:
Hi ***
I'm sorry, but I have no plans to visit Manchester. Do let me know if you ever come to London and we can arrange something then.
Regards
Cx

HIM:
don't take this the wrong way lady but it's usually considered good manners to reply to something like a booking request (but hey what the heck if you don't want my money)

ME:
Don't take this the wrong way, dear, but it's considered extremely bad manners to harrass a lady just because you don't receive a reply within YOUR timeframe. Plus you make all the right noises about subbing, then act like a flakey fake and start stamping your little foot when you don't get your own way.

As it is, I DID reply, so it's even more rude to assume that I haven't replied. Perhaps blaming your email processor would be a more logical - and polite - first step?

My reply said - basically - sorry I am not planning to visit Manchester at the moment.

Yours, respectfully,

Catherine

HIM:
Dear Mistress Cat. harassing? nothing like it i only sent you 3 email's 1 was 1st contact requesting a booking! 2nd was a polite way of saying if i've missed out any details? then please ask! flakey fake? ha ha:) i am no fake? that's an unusual but quite funny insult:) so how you figure out that i was harassing you after only 3 emails is quite puzzling? you're right to assume that i didn't get your "reply" as for my requesting you to come to manchester. i would indeed want you to come to manchester but i would be covering your travel expenses! plus your booking fee & the hotel expenses as well "i would even be willing to pay you your booking fee full & upfront then once you have confirmation then we arrange a date/time for the booking to take place! the hotel i mentioned is very easy to get to because i'm assuming it would be easier for you to get to manchester via train! & the *** hotel is practically 5mins walk from the train station! it's address is [hotel address]
[hotel phone number]
[hotel reception email]
[hotel website]
so you can check out this hotel & it's location & then you'll know i'm no flakey fake? & once we're in the hotel room & you're sitting nice & comfy on my face then you'll know for definite that i'm not messing you around.
dear mistress please give me a chance to redeem myself. i didn't intend to cause you any upset by the way i worded my email. & so i ask you please allow my booking & judge for yourself whether or not i'm worthy of being your "slave"
yours respectfully ***.

ME:
I'm sorry, I am not able to visit Manchester right now.
Catherine

HIM:
Dear Mistress Cat. i hereby withdraw my booking request! & this is my reason why! you may well be a mistress? but you seem to forget that if i'm paying you to sit on my face then you are effectively my employee! i quite generously offered to cover your travel expenses as well as the hotel fee & obviously your booking fee if you was to come to manchester. if the way you reacted to me by insulting me & calling me a flakey fake? is anything to go by then i'm quite surprised if you have any client's because the way you spoke to me was.....similar to what i'd expect from a child!

I had the same guy contact me in June/July, told him I would require deposit to cover travel and hotel costs (as obviously would rather book the room myself). Funny enough he never came through with the deposit so is obviously just an idiotic tw.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 13 September 2014, 04:24:30 pm
Quote from: Caledonia on 13 September 2014, 04:08:24 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 13 September 2014, 01:25:00 pm
Now added to my blocked list, here's a recent exchange of emails I've just had with a guy I've never seen or spoken to before. This is a classic case of wanting to Top from the Bottom. And, apparantly, because clients pay us for sex, we are their employees??! Funniest thing I've heard this weekend.

*snippety snip*

I had the same guy contact me in June/July, told him I would require deposit to cover travel and hotel costs (as obviously would rather book the room myself). Funny enough he never came through with the deposit so is obviously just an idiotic tw.

Ha! So I was very correct in calling him a flakey fake! :D Thanks for that  :-*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 13 September 2014, 07:39:40 pm
this email  just now...
Hi baby are looking fr sexy body build sexy body muscle slim
 build 6ft tanned want to be ur sexy after hrs lover mail me ur number and I will send my pics single tool  ???
love your boobs  xxxx im from Middlesex
 
He sounds like hes the one looking for clients not the other way round ...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 13 September 2014, 11:04:57 pm
Quote from: Erotic flower on 13 September 2014, 07:39:40 pm
6ft tanned want to be ur sexy after hrs lover mail me ur number and I will send my pics single tool

"Single tool" sounds about right!

I think my best one is a phone call from a Glaswegian who offered me ?50K to sleep with a woman while he watched. The woman was his daughter. Has he contacted others?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 13 September 2014, 11:08:51 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 13 September 2014, 11:04:57 pm
Quote from: Erotic flower on 13 September 2014, 07:39:40 pm
6ft tanned want to be ur sexy after hrs lover mail me ur number and I will send my pics single tool

"Single tool" sounds about right!

I think my best one is a phone call from a Glaswegian who offered me ?50K to sleep with a woman while he watched. The woman was his daughter. Has he contacted others?
No but if the 50k was guaranteed I'd have done it !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 15 September 2014, 08:21:03 pm
aw bless, just had one text saying
"i wanna f*** you hardly"

then followed by this (with several timewasting alerts)

Hi there,

Hope you are well.

I am newish to the site and just came back in after some time away.

As you know, the market on here for a single guy is fairly limited. I wondered if you maybe interested in partnering up to offer threesomes and maybe cramming etc. so FFM and also MMF as I am openly bisexual.

Pics are on my profile including face pics so you can have a wee look.

Let me know if your up for it and we could maybe have a chat about it and maybe do some pics together for our profiles.

Love Someperson xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 15 September 2014, 08:57:05 pm
Shortest email winner...

Him...
You got a post code hun xx

Me.
Yes I do. (sent)


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 16 September 2014, 08:41:33 am
Quote from: mature helen on 15 September 2014, 08:57:05 pm
Shortest email winner...

Him...
You got a post code hun xx

Me.
Yes I do. (sent)
Is it just me that loathes being called hun?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 16 September 2014, 02:04:59 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 16 September 2014, 08:41:33 am
Quote from: mature helen on 15 September 2014, 08:57:05 pm
Shortest email winner...

Him...
You got a post code hun xx

Me.
Yes I do. (sent)
Is it just me that loathes being called hun?
No I loathe it too along with babe, sexy, darlin' and sweetheart.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: peachybum on 16 September 2014, 05:26:46 pm
It has taken me ages to read all of these but they have certainly had me in fits of laughter! what i can't stand is getting a text email phone call however, calling me "baby" makes me want to gag!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 16 September 2014, 05:28:20 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 16 September 2014, 02:04:59 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 16 September 2014, 08:41:33 am
Quote from: mature helen on 15 September 2014, 08:57:05 pm
Shortest email winner...

Him...
You got a post code hun xx

Me.
Yes I do. (sent)
Is it just me that loathes being called hun?
No I loathe it too along with babe, sexy, darlin' and sweetheart.
those are the ones never turn up weirdly
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alice G on 16 September 2014, 05:53:19 pm
One e mail I received yesterday "I have two tickets for Thorpe Park, worth ?50 - Can I give them to you in exchange for a hand job?"
Somehow "cash only" seems to have passed him by.

Did have a similar one a couple of years wanting to pay with M&S vouchers!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 16 September 2014, 06:00:40 pm
Quote from: Erotic flower on 16 September 2014, 05:28:20 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 16 September 2014, 02:04:59 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 16 September 2014, 08:41:33 am
Quote from: mature helen on 15 September 2014, 08:57:05 pm
Shortest email winner...

Him...
You got a post code hun xx

Me.
Yes I do. (sent)
Is it just me that loathes being called hun?
No I loathe it too along with babe, sexy, darlin' and sweetheart.
those are the ones never turn up weirdly

That is true! They are always time wasters x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sexy_Kitty on 17 September 2014, 02:26:50 pm
fantasist.... they don't get the boundaries. My boyfriend calls me babe, not my clients.

I had some guy call me 11 TIMES yesterday. I'm not even working! I got so annoyed I even picked up the phone and held it to my TV and he STILL continued calling, what did he think there was some error that made BBC news play during a phone call? I blocked him after that. Continuing to call me does not increase your chances of me answering, it increases your chances of me blocking you for being a stalker!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 17 September 2014, 03:15:28 pm
Going 'Weird' on them helps.... :o
I'm good at that!  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kaleese on 17 September 2014, 06:12:43 pm
 :P Brilliant!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kinkyboots on 17 September 2014, 09:17:46 pm

Hi everybody! I took a little break from being "kinkyboots" and upon checking my AW emails for the first time in a few weeks i was met with this corker:  ;D

I need your help. I reckon you are an escort and so have most experience in dealing with various types of men. And I think you best suit to help me because you have plenty of similar experience. I?m 19 and not much experienced, just been with a woman only once (a local escort whom I met through local newspaper add).
I?ve a condom issue on which I need your help. In my profile you?ll see three pictures; one is of soft while other two of erect. And from those two, one is with condom on.
When I was with an escort whom I met through the local newspaper ad, thats the first time I tried a condom. It took her several attempts to get it on because whenever she placed it, it just came off when it was touched.
anyways, when the condom was on, she said she will try her on top. So as she attempted to sit on my penis, the condom just came off and got stuck in her vaginal lips.
I like to ask u is that the condom has a ring on it which actually holds the condom. Ring is the open end of the condom with elastic ring, which is meant to hold the condom tight onto the penis and to stop the condom from going off. And as you see in my picture inside my profile, the ring is on my penis. But still the ring does not work and holds the condom on place.
This is what I like to ask you; the working of the condom, and the reasons you think why I fails on me. Have you ever seen the problem when the ring is lose and lets the condom off? Is the ring not suppose to hold the penis and is the ring not made to hold the penis? If this is so then WHY you think the ring fails on me? The condoms which work fine with others, does not works on me. So can u please tell me whatever reasons you think of. I ask you this for my own understanding and learning. So please, whatever reasons you think of.
Regards
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alice G on 17 September 2014, 10:33:09 pm
Maybe you should have replied saying the reason the condom/ring does not work properly, is you have to have an erect dick more than a 1cm long for it to work properly. They are so funny and sad, in equal measures!
If we could put all these sad (but highly amusing) emails/texts we get into a book, it would be a best seller.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 17 September 2014, 10:36:28 pm
Quote from: kinkyboots on 17 September 2014, 09:17:46 pm

Hi everybody! I took a little break from being "kinkyboots" and upon checking my AW emails for the first time in a few weeks i was met with this corker:  ;D

I need your help. I reckon you are an escort and so have most experience in dealing with various types of men. And I think you best suit to help me because you have plenty of similar experience. I?m 19 and not much experienced, just been with a woman only once (a local escort whom I met through local newspaper add).
I?ve a condom issue on which I need your help. In my profile you?ll see three pictures; one is of soft while other two of erect. And from those two, one is with condom on.
When I was with an escort whom I met through the local newspaper ad, thats the first time I tried a condom. It took her several attempts to get it on because whenever she placed it, it just came off when it was touched.
anyways, when the condom was on, she said she will try her on top. So as she attempted to sit on my penis, the condom just came off and got stuck in her vaginal lips.
I like to ask u is that the condom has a ring on it which actually holds the condom. Ring is the open end of the condom with elastic ring, which is meant to hold the condom tight onto the penis and to stop the condom from going off. And as you see in my picture inside my profile, the ring is on my penis. But still the ring does not work and holds the condom on place.
This is what I like to ask you; the working of the condom, and the reasons you think why I fails on me. Have you ever seen the problem when the ring is lose and lets the condom off? Is the ring not suppose to hold the penis and is the ring not made to hold the penis? If this is so then WHY you think the ring fails on me? The condoms which work fine with others, does not works on me. So can u please tell me whatever reasons you think of. I ask you this for my own understanding and learning. So please, whatever reasons you think of.
Regards
He's a well known dickhead,he has had various accounts on A.W and he normally sends emails about how small his dick is.I got the exact same email 2 days ago.I've reported his latest profile for spam.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FantacyAW on 17 September 2014, 10:41:29 pm
Lol, i've had the small willy/condom not fitting one too.....told him the girl doesn't know what shes doing and to book me, lol! Was very kind but had no response, charming x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 18 September 2014, 03:48:03 am
Jodie, your secret squirrel sounds like my ex BF hahahaha  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 18 September 2014, 10:14:01 am
Quote from: kinkyboots on 17 September 2014, 09:17:46 pm

Hi everybody! I took a little break from being "kinkyboots" and upon checking my AW emails for the first time in a few weeks i was met with this corker:  ;D

I need your help. I reckon you are an escort and so have most experience in dealing with various types of men. And I think you best suit to help me because you have plenty of similar experience. I?m 19 and not much experienced, just been with a woman only once (a local escort whom I met through local newspaper add).
I?ve a condom issue on which I need your help. In my profile you?ll see three pictures; one is of soft while other two of erect. And from those two, one is with condom on.
When I was with an escort whom I met through the local newspaper ad, thats the first time I tried a condom. It took her several attempts to get it on because whenever she placed it, it just came off when it was touched.
anyways, when the condom was on, she said she will try her on top. So as she attempted to sit on my penis, the condom just came off and got stuck in her vaginal lips.
I like to ask u is that the condom has a ring on it which actually holds the condom. Ring is the open end of the condom with elastic ring, which is meant to hold the condom tight onto the penis and to stop the condom from going off. And as you see in my picture inside my profile, the ring is on my penis. But still the ring does not work and holds the condom on place.
This is what I like to ask you; the working of the condom, and the reasons you think why I fails on me. Have you ever seen the problem when the ring is lose and lets the condom off? Is the ring not suppose to hold the penis and is the ring not made to hold the penis? If this is so then WHY you think the ring fails on me? The condoms which work fine with others, does not works on me. So can u please tell me whatever reasons you think of. I ask you this for my own understanding and learning. So please, whatever reasons you think of.
Regards

This guy obv gets off on replies, looks like a twist on the one that's been doing the rounds for years, as in: "how can I penetrate a lady and give her pleasure when my dick is so small" - so us ladies as supposed to feel sorry for him and explain the basics, while all the time he's getting off on his small cock fetish.

Even telling him "get a smaller condom" would probably make him cum in his pants.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 18 September 2014, 10:14:59 am
Quote from: FantacyAW on 17 September 2014, 10:41:29 pm
Lol, i've had the small willy/condom not fitting one too.....told him the girl doesn't know what shes doing and to book me, lol! Was very kind but had no response, charming x

He won't reply to book you, he wants small cock chat for free.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 18 September 2014, 04:57:52 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 18 September 2014, 10:14:59 am
Quote from: FantacyAW on 17 September 2014, 10:41:29 pm
Lol, i've had the small willy/condom not fitting one too.....told him the girl doesn't know what shes doing and to book me, lol! Was very kind but had no response, charming x

He won't reply to book you, he wants small cock chat for free.
small cock chat for free lol !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 18 September 2014, 06:00:43 pm
Quote from: bibi on 17 September 2014, 10:36:28 pm
Quote from: kinkyboots on 17 September 2014, 09:17:46 pm

Hi everybody! I took a little break from being "kinkyboots" and upon checking my AW emails for the first time in a few weeks i was met with this corker:  ;D

I need your help. I reckon you are an escort and so have most experience in dealing with various types of men. And I think you best suit to help me because you have plenty of similar experience. I?m 19 and not much experienced, just been with a woman only once (a local escort whom I met through local newspaper add).
I?ve a condom issue on which I need your help. In my profile you?ll see three pictures; one is of soft while other two of erect. And from those two, one is with condom on.
When I was with an escort whom I met through the local newspaper ad, thats the first time I tried a condom. It took her several attempts to get it on because whenever she placed it, it just came off when it was touched.
anyways, when the condom was on, she said she will try her on top. So as she attempted to sit on my penis, the condom just came off and got stuck in her vaginal lips.
I like to ask u is that the condom has a ring on it which actually holds the condom. Ring is the open end of the condom with elastic ring, which is meant to hold the condom tight onto the penis and to stop the condom from going off. And as you see in my picture inside my profile, the ring is on my penis. But still the ring does not work and holds the condom on place.
This is what I like to ask you; the working of the condom, and the reasons you think why I fails on me. Have you ever seen the problem when the ring is lose and lets the condom off? Is the ring not suppose to hold the penis and is the ring not made to hold the penis? If this is so then WHY you think the ring fails on me? The condoms which work fine with others, does not works on me. So can u please tell me whatever reasons you think of. I ask you this for my own understanding and learning. So please, whatever reasons you think of.
Regards
He's a well known dickhead,he has had various accounts on A.W and he normally sends emails about how small his dick is.I got the exact same email 2 days ago.I've reported his latest profile for spam.

Add me to the list of lucky ladies of this copy and paste pest!
I agree; he must just want a load of replies to Wank over. What a wally!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 19 September 2014, 07:45:52 am
Quote from: BJC on 18 September 2014, 06:00:43 pm
Quote from: bibi on 17 September 2014, 10:36:28 pm
Quote from: kinkyboots on 17 September 2014, 09:17:46 pm

Hi everybody! I took a little break from being "kinkyboots" and upon checking my AW emails for the first time in a few weeks i was met with this corker:  ;D

I need your help. I reckon you are an escort and so have most experience in dealing with various types of men. And I think you best suit to help me because you have plenty of similar experience. I?m 19 and not much experienced, just been with a woman only once (a local escort whom I met through local newspaper add).
I?ve a condom issue on which I need your help. In my profile you?ll see three pictures; one is of soft while other two of erect. And from those two, one is with condom on.
When I was with an escort whom I met through the local newspaper ad, thats the first time I tried a condom. It took her several attempts to get it on because whenever she placed it, it just came off when it was touched.
anyways, when the condom was on, she said she will try her on top. So as she attempted to sit on my penis, the condom just came off and got stuck in her vaginal lips.
I like to ask u is that the condom has a ring on it which actually holds the condom. Ring is the open end of the condom with elastic ring, which is meant to hold the condom tight onto the penis and to stop the condom from going off. And as you see in my picture inside my profile, the ring is on my penis. But still the ring does not work and holds the condom on place.
This is what I like to ask you; the working of the condom, and the reasons you think why I fails on me. Have you ever seen the problem when the ring is lose and lets the condom off? Is the ring not suppose to hold the penis and is the ring not made to hold the penis? If this is so then WHY you think the ring fails on me? The condoms which work fine with others, does not works on me. So can u please tell me whatever reasons you think of. I ask you this for my own understanding and learning. So please, whatever reasons you think of.
Regards
He's a well known dickhead,he has had various accounts on A.W and he normally sends emails about how small his dick is.I got the exact same email 2 days ago.I've reported his latest profile for spam.

Add me to the list of lucky ladies of this copy and paste pest!
I agree; he must just want a load of replies to Wank over. What a wally!

Every body who gets it should Copy and paste it and send it back daily. It will soon have him  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 21 September 2014, 12:22:52 am
I don't offer dinner dates and this is stated on my profile but yet I get the following text this evening:

Hi, can I take you on a romantic date sometime? as in a real date with rose petals to greet you...a candle-lit dinner with a glass of parisian red.....enjoyed with a cute gentleman...have a think about it x

(I reply to decline)

I totally understand that, i've read your profile. I'm not after sex or any of your services. You're a pretty girl and deserve to be taken on a genuinely romantic and memorable date. One that you will not feel 'obligated' to do but rather want to. You'll have a really special evening. x

(I let him know again that I'm an escort and also already have a boyfriend to be romantic with, which seems to have shut him up)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 21 September 2014, 12:07:18 pm
Today I received a message that just read, "Sex."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 21 September 2014, 01:52:35 pm
Received this txt earlier:

Hello.. I'm hoping your free to book? as your soooooo dam fine!! :) I'm John, 36.. amazing skills and pretty much brilliant at everything ;).. I'm thinking a hotel as up here visiting the folks wf8.. But really up for fun times in a car maybe!! - I'm single and horny not an ugly weirdo xx

On the scale of ridiculous emails/txts I get from people who cant/wont read my profile its pretty harmless but I was a bit taken aback with how taken he seems with himself... Was tempted to tell him to stay home and Wank over his reflection in the mirror but block instead... Lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 21 September 2014, 04:11:32 pm
Can you ever get a genuine nice client that says 'I'm not old and ugly n all that, I'm young and fit'  ::)

I got a text last night saying I need you, Really need you, PLEASE. 

When I used to have voicemail activated, I had one that phoned loads of times from Vivastreet almost crying, saying something similar  'I Need you, PLEASE PLEASE, call me, I need you Tonight'.  Seriously mate, just have a wank.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sexy_Kitty on 21 September 2014, 09:26:22 pm
Thought I'd post it before deleting it: (to preface, it states on my profile I am NOT working right now, in the first sentence!)

G'day to you lovely girl
I would very much like to see you for a 2 hour incall this coming wednesday at the earliest time of your availability?
May I also know are you comfortable with seeing black male as your clients? Are you ok with the way we have sex and familiar sleeping with black male? I had to ask since some escort cannot handle due to size or the way we are in bed. If you do have limits or something you do not like your client to do please inform me in advance. I do like rough wild sex.

Cheers!

Because black people have sex differently than white people???? I'm going to guess this man is NOT black. Also, why do they write in so a fucking weird tone? I know I'm not British so sometimes people say things and I'm a little confused, but seriously, the phrasing is just SO strange!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 22 September 2014, 12:40:16 pm
caller just now.
can u piss in my mouth can I cum!! :o
no hello, no introduction.
waiting for the next call lol !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 22 September 2014, 08:56:56 pm
Reverse booking of the day is number 397945....the dickhead actually things he's going to get 11 hours for ?250....well actually he's going to get 11 hours for free because any poor deluded girl who accepts this is to take her payment after the 11 hours are up because he 'likes' his fantasy that he's paying you to leave, not paying you to stay??

Oh and don't expect payment upfront for travel expenses either... and he is 'insistent in these rules'!

What a catch eh?  Hold me back....I can't wait to bid! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 23 September 2014, 07:28:51 am
Quote from: Curvygal on 22 September 2014, 08:56:56 pm
Reverse booking of the day is number 397945....the dickhead actually things he's going to get 11 hours for ?250....well actually he's going to get 11 hours for free because any poor deluded girl who accepts this is to take her payment after the 11 hours are up because he 'likes' his fantasy that he's paying you to leave, not paying you to stay??

Oh and don't expect payment upfront for travel expenses either... and he is 'insistent in these rules'!

What a catch eh?  Hold me back....I can't wait to bid! ;D
Were there any bids on it?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 23 September 2014, 11:20:50 am
Quote from: Red KB on 23 September 2014, 07:28:51 am
Quote from: Curvygal on 22 September 2014, 08:56:56 pm
Reverse booking of the day is number 397945....the dickhead actually things he's going to get 11 hours for ?250....well actually he's going to get 11 hours for free because any poor deluded girl who accepts this is to take her payment after the 11 hours are up because he 'likes' his fantasy that he's paying you to leave, not paying you to stay??

Oh and don't expect payment upfront for travel expenses either... and he is 'insistent in these rules'!

What a catch eh?  Hold me back....I can't wait to bid! ;D
Were there any bids on it?

Surprisingly yes when I looked last night there were 4.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 24 September 2014, 04:55:33 pm
I just received a text from someone claiming to run an agency in Notts and having lots of work. I searched the number the text came from and it came back with the number of an auto repair shop in Grantham. I'm not sure what kind of work they have got on offer for me...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 27 September 2014, 06:56:44 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 24 September 2014, 04:55:33 pm
I just received a text from someone claiming to run an agency in Notts and having lots of work. I searched the number the text came from and it came back with the number of an auto repair shop in Grantham. I'm not sure what kind of work they have got on offer for me...
I got the same text they have an A.W profile and must just be randomnly texting girls from there.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 27 September 2014, 06:58:30 pm
By text...Hi..I'm 23 do you want to go for a drive and then a walk and if you like me you can give me a bj'?
'No thanks' 'Ok I'll book you for an hour then and pay'..think I'll pass..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeaBoy on 27 September 2014, 07:23:03 pm
Just been talking to a guy on aw who got all surprised that I'm not willing to travel from Bristol to London right now to see him!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 28 September 2014, 03:07:20 am
Oh ya beauty

Quote
Dipped in molten seduction Your flesh smouldering in the heat I am shameless in my desire To explore your beautiful curves Inhaling your musk infused scent Opening my senses to the revelation That you seductress are my new religion Your lips your skin your fire My greatest temptation My eternal obsession A soulful silence in the darkness Is pierced by the light of the moon That engulfs us as we kiss The warm whispering of our souls Answering our questions about love There is no control how we feel It just simply is us for all eternity In passion fuelled delirium This no illusion no dream This is the reality of fire on flesh There is no letting go For we have found our destiny Loving the naked edge of lust Eyes? consuming what the mind already owns We breathe only for each other In the confidence of lovers The line is blurred our bodies melt Our skin merges in true heat Our core entangled 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 28 September 2014, 10:04:54 am
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 28 September 2014, 03:07:20 am
Oh ya beauty

Quote
Dipped in molten seduction Your flesh smouldering in the heat I am shameless in my desire To explore your beautiful curves Inhaling your musk infused scent Opening my senses to the revelation That you seductress are my new religion Your lips your skin your fire My greatest temptation My eternal obsession A soulful silence in the darkness Is pierced by the light of the moon That engulfs us as we kiss The warm whispering of our souls Answering our questions about love There is no control how we feel It just simply is us for all eternity In passion fuelled delirium This no illusion no dream This is the reality of fire on flesh There is no letting go For we have found our destiny Loving the naked edge of lust Eyes? consuming what the mind already owns We breathe only for each other In the confidence of lovers The line is blurred our bodies melt Our skin merges in true heat Our core entangled 

Think I'm gonna be sick.....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 28 September 2014, 03:33:26 pm
oh curvygal, i nearly was too when i read it.

i mean really??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 28 September 2014, 05:02:06 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 28 September 2014, 03:33:26 pm
oh curvygal, i nearly was too when i read it.

i mean really??

I know. Wtf?  I think I'd prefer the 'bby wanna fck u 2nite' idiots than that!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DustedWithSugar on 28 September 2014, 08:35:47 pm
I just got this message

Quote
I work in Saudi (but an white british). I am back the UK for a month from 4th Oct . I would like to see you if you are free for a few hour session .

I was hoping you can do some domiantion on me. I am not into the leather clad dom, but more of a normal look sexy seceutary/boss, stockings and heels that sort of thing.

I love, bondage, control and humilliation, forced body worship, cbt, facesitting, kissing your feet and espesially ass licking and worship. I also have a high pain tolerance if thats your thing Use me as your slave, your pet, your toy, whatever you want. Threat me like the filthy pig I am, make me beg you just to lick your ass.

I also have a chastity cage and was hoping to find someone who was willing to hold the key for my stay back in the uk with mabye twice a week sessions for the 4 weeks that I am back, with you returing the key at the end of my stay.

I enjoy bondage, cock bondage, tease and denile, collor and lead, butt plugs ......whatever you want really and would accept whatever relief you felt my pathetic cock deserved, if any!! So if you can be a real bitch and want your own personal slave that you can tease, torment and frustrate please get back in touch.

I could arrange a cam session before I leave if you are avalible. 

I swear I've seen this message somewhere here on forum, I just can't find it!! I remember especially the bit about cage and holding key!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 29 September 2014, 03:23:25 pm
Had a phone call this morning with the usual TW feel, obviously hadn't read my ad so was asking what I offer, rates etc. He said he'd call back at 3. Then he asked if I had extra large condoms. I rolled my eyes and said I was prepared for all circumstances. Perhaps he was hoping for me to congratulate him on having a large penis. I didn't hold my breath on him calling at 3 and what do you know, he hasn't!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 29 September 2014, 03:45:52 pm
I had a call today from a man who said he was wanting to book an incall but as he'd been turned down for sex before by an escort he wanted to be sure I could "take his huge penis"..."so how big is it" I asked, "12 inches" he replied, "oh yeah thats no problem, no problem at all, send me an AW booking form...bye!" I think my disinterest in his big todger fantasy took the wind out of his sails as as suprisingly no booking form appeared.
The last 4 numbers on his mobile are 9487 I dint know if its the same guy or if there's a few of them trolling AW.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 29 September 2014, 03:55:57 pm
I seem to have had a spate of men ringing me and mentioning that they're either VWE (like, 11") or have small dicks. Say they'll ring back. I'm still waiting...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 29 September 2014, 04:20:18 pm
just checked my AW email and found this beauty...

Hi,
Can you give me a 1 hour massage this afternoon at 4pm please for ?60 - incall - incl prostate massage?
No sex or Oral thanks, but I would love to rim you.
Paul
To which I reply
If you read my 3 lined profile you would see it says
1. I finish at 4pm
2. 1 hour bookings are ?100
3. I don't offer a prostate massage service
4. I don't receive rimming.
so I bet you can guess what my reply is going to be...
Helen.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 03 October 2014, 04:53:12 am
"Hey I know this is weird but I need help, basically I'm an escort but never done a job, but I want to I have no experience in it though so I was wondering if you could help me I.e like partner up for abut until I'm fully capable of doing it myself, obviously I don't want paying and I'll do everything I'm told to do"  :FF
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 03 October 2014, 07:54:44 am
19th July 2014 23.35pm
OH....MY....DAYS!!!! I went on this adult site to see what the fuss was about and saw your pics. Never thought I'd say this to a 56 year old, but you look amaaaazing!!! Your look better than most 26 year olds let alone 56. Shame ur an escort lol.

3rd Oct 2014 05.50am
I just saw your pics on this adult site. Oh my days!!!! you look better than most 26 yr olds let alone 56!!!!! It's a damn shame ur an escort!

What does he expect to find on a adult site?
It's all BS I look nothing like a 26 year old, I look like what I am a middle aged older woman.
Shame I'm an escort? means he can't afford me! hahaha  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 04 October 2014, 11:45:24 pm
Hey girls,

Just had the nicest, most polite e-mail ever...

'Hi you dirty cunt, I'm in Airdrie and I wanna fuck tomorrow what are you looking for?'

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously? :FF :FF :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Reni on 05 October 2014, 12:12:26 am
Had a Scottish bloke ring asking if I would tour Edinburgh. I replied no. He then asks "do you like to suck big cocks". I hung up. Haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 05 October 2014, 12:22:17 am
Oh it's a night for the idiots...must be a full moon.

Get an email from a guy who wants to book.  He says he's in Glasgow

Me:  'OK so if you send me your hotel name, your name and the room number I'll give you a call at the hotel then I'll be with you'

Him:  'Just text me when you are in Glasgow please'

Me:  'Well I'll need your details before I can set off so if you can send those to me'

Him:  'I'm staying in the Glasgow Hilton I'll give you the rest once you're in Glasgow;

Me:  (Getting annoyed) I do need those now as I need to give you a quick call at the hotel just to say hi and confirm you're there first'.

Him:  'Stop wasting my time!  I clearly am here!  Are you coming or not?'

So I've to travel 65 miles to Glasgow and drive around in the vague hope that this guy is in Glasgow and that he will even get back to me once I'm there.  Dream on timewaster.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeaBoy on 05 October 2014, 06:31:15 pm
Just got this magical invitation:

"id love to find a guy to try and get my very hot 37 yo sister to cheat on her dick head hubby, im her BROTHER and very genuine, does that interest u?"

God, that skins like far too much effort.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amberpeach on 05 October 2014, 11:35:06 pm
 >:( >:( >:( >:(

I am so fed up of the poo requests Im so not into poop

Its discusting do any of you get like ten email a day asking for poo meetings ...

babe cum ova and shit on me ....

that is a email I got today no details just cum ova and shit on me

Its so wrong ... what happend to peoples manners ??

Am I over reacting  :o Its yucky  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 06 October 2014, 07:53:42 am
Got an email at 03.00hrs user name *upthebum23*   I see your available can I fuck u up the bum ?
I didn't bother replying to someone who clearly can't read .block list ! ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amberpeach on 06 October 2014, 08:11:24 am
Morning slag fancy sucking big black dick ?

It was six am ...!!! NOOOO not today thanks lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DustedWithSugar on 06 October 2014, 09:15:55 am
Quote from: amberpeach on 06 October 2014, 08:11:24 am
Morning slag fancy sucking big black dick ?

It was six am ...!!! NOOOO not today thanks lol
What a charmer... at least he said "morning"  ;D but forgot usual kisses at the end hahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 06 October 2014, 01:11:22 pm
Quote from: Carol on 06 October 2014, 09:15:55 am
Quote from: amberpeach on 06 October 2014, 08:11:24 am
Morning slag fancy sucking big black dick ?

It was six am ...!!! NOOOO not today thanks lol
What a charmer... at least he said "morning"  ;D but forgot usual kisses at the end hahaha
some men have such a way with words !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 06 October 2014, 06:55:04 pm
Him, can you see me today?
Me, no sorry am booked all day.
Him. I'm gonna send you a picture of me and when you see it you will wanna cancel the others.
Me, no I don't think that's how it works, bye.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 06 October 2014, 08:28:26 pm
Excerpts from an email chain:

Him: "I am 17 years old, is this a problem?"
Me: "As long as you are over 16."
Him: "That's correct I am 16."

I think someones having a little fantasy. He also want to describe what we will do during the booking. And he'll be coming all the way from Scotland. And he's a virgin. Also, I'm not saying it's not possible but his grammar and English is very good for a 16/17 year old!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: alice842 on 06 October 2014, 09:23:24 pm
Had an email asking if I could go and see him for less than half of my hourly rate just to hang out so I could 'escape from my normal escort life and feel loved and wanted'  :FF

Replied saying I'd rather hang out with my boyfriend if I want to feel loved and maybe he should try a dating website.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amberpeach on 08 October 2014, 11:33:42 am
hey im a sexy model since im so sexyyy let me shag u and a frend for hlaf price



PARDON THE SPELLING THATS A COPY .... of the email

I ignored surprising ..... yawn :-[
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 08 October 2014, 12:07:59 pm

I would love you to rim my black arsehole like there is no tomorrow. Make you spit on it and lick and suck hard. All the while I will be calling you names and telling you to carry on rimming. E.g. "Keep sucking my arse you fucking slut". And you can be responding throughout with things like " I love licking and sucking black arse. I am a dirty fucking whore that eats black arse. Spread that arsehole for me".
I will also spit into your mouth and on your face.
Then I can cum into a glass or plate. I will also spit in the glass or plate, so mix the cum with spit. You can then lick the cum off the glass or plate. All the while, talking dirty and saying how much you love cum. Maybe play with the cum in your mouth for a while before swallowing.

Would you fancy doing that?



Mmmm... yes please  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 08 October 2014, 12:15:35 pm
How can a girl resist that beautiful offer
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 08 October 2014, 12:22:11 pm
I know! Cum and spit mixed together on a plate... yummy  ;D xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 08 October 2014, 05:27:15 pm
Surely the whole point of that exercise is just writing it out and sending it to a woman. Surely nobody expects a "yes" to that?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Reni on 09 October 2014, 10:13:17 pm
Just had a lovely one from a guy coming to the area with 3 of his mates. Wants me to entertain all of them at once and "all holes" made available.
He has no feedback. So surely a joke?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xSweetCheeksx on 09 October 2014, 10:33:55 pm
I had a guy call the other day. It was along the lines of this...

"Can I book you please for half an hour at 2pm?"
"Yes of course"
"Great, are you alright to let me pay you ?30 for that?"
"No sorry I don't change my rates" (I charge ?80 for 30mins)
"Well it's worth it cause I'm your age (21 on my profile) so better for you".
"Actually I prefer older men"
"Ok bye".

Ha get told, acting like he's doing me the favour as if!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 09 October 2014, 11:04:13 pm
Quote from: xSweetCheeksx on 09 October 2014, 10:33:55 pm
"Well it's worth it cause I'm your age (21 on my profile) so better for you".

Young (<25) blokes sometimes just completely don't get it, do they? I actually enjoy seeing them, but one expected a freebie a couple of days later as I'd enjoyed myself!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: luciefate on 09 October 2014, 11:38:26 pm
I'd like you to bend over when I fuck you in the arse at the same time as writing all over your body.
I will give you a script to read and you should read it out as I fuck you.
I want to write on every inch of your body and if it goes well I will ask you to stay longer.

Must be a fucking contortionist or expect me to be! How about paying me for the 2 hours it'll take to wash his 'life book' off every crack???? Shudder...  :-X

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 10 October 2014, 02:37:46 am
Phonecall number one:How much to spend the night with you?
Me:Sorry I don't do overnighters.

Phonecall number two (same number):What can I get for ?30?
Me:A bottle of baby oil, several boxes of kleenex and a large Dominos for after.


So he wants and overnighter then only has ?30 afterall...hmmm
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xSweetCheeksx on 10 October 2014, 09:22:15 am
Quote from: bibi on 10 October 2014, 02:37:46 am

Phonecall number two (same number):What can I get for ?30?
Me:A bottle of baby oil, several boxes of kleenex and a large Dominos for after.

Lmao! Sounds like the perfect night in.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xSweetCheeksx on 10 October 2014, 09:24:16 am
Quote from: KayHerts on 09 October 2014, 11:04:13 pm
Quote from: xSweetCheeksx on 09 October 2014, 10:33:55 pm
"Well it's worth it cause I'm your age (21 on my profile) so better for you".

Young (<25) blokes sometimes just completely don't get it, do they? I actually enjoy seeing them, but one expected a freebie a couple of days later as I'd enjoyed myself!

Haha when guys say stuff like this I feel like saying 'yeah it's called acting'. The nerve lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 10 October 2014, 01:06:12 pm
Quote from: xSweetCheeksx on 10 October 2014, 09:24:16 am
Quote from: KayHerts on 09 October 2014, 11:04:13 pm
Quote from: xSweetCheeksx on 09 October 2014, 10:33:55 pm
"Well it's worth it cause I'm your age (21 on my profile) so better for you".

Young (<25) blokes sometimes just completely don't get it, do they? I actually enjoy seeing them, but one expected a freebie a couple of days later as I'd enjoyed myself!

Haha when guys say stuff like this I feel like saying 'yeah it's called acting'. The nerve lol.
yea if I show enthusiasm they take it the wrong way and think I really fancy them and ask for free sex too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ieaio on 10 October 2014, 04:51:10 pm
" Will you shove a pen in my cock as far as it will go, even if splits & bleeds & i tell you stop i want you to shove it in, i'll sign a disclaimer"

AHHHHH in that moment, my aw was almost deleted out of pure shock & disgust lol, i never can fatham the crazy suggestions considering i'm a vanilla service kind of girl. Vanilla not marmite, dates, anchovy & spam ice cream O.o. !!

I apologise horrifically for putting that image in your head.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeaBoy on 10 October 2014, 06:44:35 pm
And of course you can't legally consent to abh so anything he did sign would be worthless!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: French Delight on 10 October 2014, 10:17:41 pm
Guy: i want you to feed me cyanide and watch me die
Guy: and end my miserable life
Me: this is not a shrink chat you know
Me: see a doctor
Guy: nnoooooo.......you dont get it
Guy: all you have to do is accept my money and watch me pass from this earth
Me: no sorry I won't take this responsibility
Me : get lost and have a nice evening

 ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 11 October 2014, 06:28:12 pm
what the actual f........

thats horrible FD.  poor you getting such a crap message :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 11 October 2014, 07:27:41 pm
"Wow! You look HOT for your age!"

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 11 October 2014, 08:32:01 pm
A text earlier,

I am a driver for escorts so know this business, I am happy to drive you for outcalls and a booking with you wud let me know if u are a busy escort, I am saving sum money frm my driving or I cd see u at no cost and do the driving reducd price, thnks Hun.

The spelling mistakes are his not mine! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 12 October 2014, 02:43:49 pm
Another on! God I've had some idiots this weekend  :FF
Hi, I'd like to come and see you but don't want to rush into things, I'm near to you now so could I come and check things out to make sure you're genuine?

I said, so you just wanna come and have a look?

Him, yes.

Me, ok but you have to pay,

Hi, I won't even touch you, just look.

I am on a very short fuse this weekend so I did basically tell him to go fuck himself! I must add he was extremely arrogant, sometimes I bloody hate this job! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: alice842 on 12 October 2014, 04:54:26 pm
My one and only serious email from vivastreet was from a guy who obviously had absolutely no clue what he was doing. We arranged a day and then he said 'should I book a hotel now?' 'How about this one?' 'I had a look around but the shower seems a bit small?' 'Do you want to shower together?' 'Well, it's up to you, it's your body'

He was driving me up the wall I was tempted to just cancel the booking. He asked what my prices were twice, then sent an email saying some of my friends told me some escorts don't do what they say they will on their profile. Replied telling him I'm not a liar, my profile is honest, I have lots of positive feedback etc. Then he asked if I wanted to stay overnight -  he'd already said he could only afford to book for 3 or 4 hours so I didn't even bother telling him what my overnight price was and just declined  ::) Then a couple of days before he said could we meet at the wetherspoons nearby for a few drinks - I said sure, but you'll still need to pay me and he said 'I see, business is business with you,, interesting, says a lot about a person' I was so annoyed - yes! This is my business and it's how I make a living, no professional just gives away free time. Needless to say we didn't end up meeting, I didn't even cancel and he never emailed again.

I wouldn't normally have kept on replying to his emails for so long but he was one of the only serious emails I got from vivastreet and I wanted to at least get one booking from there seeing as I paid for the ad  :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sexy_Kitty on 13 October 2014, 01:32:35 am
^yeah, I didn't even renew Vivastreet this month, I always got horrible inquiries from there. People who barely read the advert and didn't even know my prices, thought I offered services I didn't offer-- I always double check with prices, but it's not a habit of mine to say "so you know how it says I don't do anal on my advert? well, that means I really don't do anal so if that's what you're looking for I'm not the girl for you." AW is all I use anymore!

I deleted it or I'd post it, but some guy emailed me around 10pm asking if I was available at 11pm for an incall, and do I offer OWO? And I need to respond to him ASAP, as he would have to get in the shower right away. The nerve! Ugh. Seriously, it says in my profile I need at least 3 hours notice for a booking and clearly states I offer OWO, it drives me up the wall when men don't read my damn profile. And I just found him snapping at me to respond to him quickly when he was being an ass emailing me last minute quite irritating.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: alice842 on 13 October 2014, 02:00:36 am
Yeh, one line creepy emails like this were pretty much all I got from vivastreet,

'hi.....dear.....I like u ....I want meet u....tell me where u live......and how much is one hr'

I know you can't put anything about offering sexual services on your ad but the two things he's asking (for an incall and my rates) were actually things that were answered in my ad with 'available for outcalls' in the title ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 13 October 2014, 10:53:43 am
A guys sms last night at 10 pm:

Hi, any appt please?

I answered telling him I finished my day and Im off to bed but I can see him next day.

Him: Website mentioned until 11 pm.

I explained him as Im Independent, I choose when to finish my day,not him.

He insisted, saying he texted me based on my website working hours.

Me: You clearly dont know the meaning of Independent or take no for an answer. Blocked.


No one make me so pissed off in a long time, this guy is the winner :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tigerlily on 13 October 2014, 02:07:05 pm
This guy

As I enjoy giving pleasure at least as much as I enjoy receiving it, I tend to operate on a ?150 for two hours basis. I understand that this is not within your advertised price range, but I could not resist your advertisement. This is not a strict requirement and a happy and fulfilling time is more important to me than price.

Oh I hate the ones who try to barter. Grrrrr.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 14 October 2014, 02:09:00 pm
Just recieved this brilliant call   ;D

Him: Hi I saw you on Adultwork, this might sound strange but I'm a gardener and I was wondering if your flat or house has a garden.

Translated "I want you to see me for free and I will cut your grass"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 14 October 2014, 03:49:56 pm
Quote from: tigerLily on 13 October 2014, 02:07:05 pm
This guy

As I enjoy giving pleasure at least as much as I enjoy receiving it, I tend to operate on a ?150 for two hours basis. I understand that this is not within your advertised price range, but I could not resist your advertisement. This is not a strict requirement and a happy and fulfilling time is more important to me than price.

Oh I hate the ones who try to barter. Grrrrr.

Ugh. Wordy bartering is the worst.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tigerlily on 14 October 2014, 03:52:56 pm
Quote from: Caledonia on 14 October 2014, 02:09:00 pm
Just recieved this brilliant call   ;D

Him: Hi I saw you on Adultwork, this might sound strange but I'm a gardener and I was wondering if your flat or house has a garden.

Translated "I want you to see me for free and I will cut your grass"

LOL. Maybe he just wants to get down and dirty in the garden ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 14 October 2014, 05:24:35 pm
Quote from: tigerLily on 14 October 2014, 03:52:56 pm
Quote from: Caledonia on 14 October 2014, 02:09:00 pm
Just recieved this brilliant call   ;D

Him: Hi I saw you on Adultwork, this might sound strange but I'm a gardener and I was wondering if your flat or house has a garden.

Translated "I want you to see me for free and I will cut your grass"

LOL. Maybe he just wants to get down and dirty in the garden ;)

Lol maybe :-) That would have been awkward if I did live in a flat as they tend to have shared gardens, thats if they even have one.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tigerlily on 14 October 2014, 08:00:59 pm
I once had a guy request a booking where I was to LEAVE THE DOOR TO MY HOTEL ROOM OPEN whilst we were having sex "just in case anyone wants to walk in and join."

Apparently he needed some excitement in his life.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aussie Male Escort on 16 October 2014, 06:49:11 pm
After exchanging a few txts with a client the other day this happened-
-So, Want to come see me?
-Not at those unrealistic prices
-I'm busy at those rates so no discounts
-As if. It should be 'come and see' not 'come see.' Poor English.
(I used to be an English teacher. Admittedly with next to no qualifications teaching ESL in Tokyo and Phuket but still..)
-It's called a stacked motion verb.The way I used it is colloquial but not incorrect. Here's another example of two consecutive verbs in a colloquial phrase- "Go F**k yourself"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 16 October 2014, 10:09:36 pm
Just had a guy ask me for a car meet, which I refused.  He then responded with what about outdoor fun, because it's his fantasy to bend 'an older woman' over outside.

An older woman!  I'm 31, profile age 28!  I feel about 164.   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 16 October 2014, 10:37:00 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 16 October 2014, 10:09:36 pm
Just had a guy ask me for a car meet, which I refused.  He then responded with what about outdoor fun, because it's his fantasy to bend 'an older woman' over outside.

An older woman!  I'm 31, profile age 28!  I feel about 164.   :FF

Yeah, you ancient old granny, 'bout time you retired!  ;D  :D

(I am joking, of course! :) )

Bet he was either 16 or about the same age as you.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: luciefate on 17 October 2014, 12:04:21 am
Oh Curvygal - what a cheeky bas!! LOL

Here's one from 2 nights ago:

By phone.

 Punter:  Hi Lucie, I'm in (my town) and I would like to book you for an outcall.
 Me:        Sure, no problem. Which hotel are you staying in?
 Punter:  I'm actually a long distance lorry driver and I'm in my truck down at the docks.
 Me: Pardon???
 Punter: I'm a really nice guy, 28 years old and fit!
 Me: Listen sweetheart, I don't need the money that desperately that I am going to drive down to the docks and get in a lorry at      midnight with a strange man.
 Punter: But I'm a really nice guy. My name's (name). I'll send you a picture.
 Me: I'm sure Jack The Ripper was a really nice guy too and whilst I'm sure you're not going to abduct me for the white slave trade either, I think I'll pass until you're back in town and book a hotel!!

Been pissing myself over this for the last two days PLUS as an added bonus I got a picture of his truck. It sure beats the usual cock pic!!!!  ;D

Any takers? I'll pass on his number LOL
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 17 October 2014, 10:53:41 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 16 October 2014, 10:37:00 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 16 October 2014, 10:09:36 pm
Just had a guy ask me for a car meet, which I refused.  He then responded with what about outdoor fun, because it's his fantasy to bend 'an older woman' over outside.

An older woman!  I'm 31, profile age 28!  I feel about 164.   :FF

Yeah, you ancient old granny, 'bout time you retired!  ;D  :D

(I am joking, of course! :) )

Bet he was either 16 or about the same age as you.

He said he was 22 so I'm guessing you are right, that'll be plus or minus a few years!

Yip girls, i'm officially past it and hanging up my knickers!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 17 October 2014, 10:55:14 am
Quote from: lucielee on 17 October 2014, 12:04:21 am
Oh Curvygal - what a cheeky bas!! LOL

Here's one from 2 nights ago:

By phone.

 Punter:  Hi Lucie, I'm in (my town) and I would like to book you for an outcall.
 Me:        Sure, no problem. Which hotel are you staying in?
 Punter:  I'm actually a long distance lorry driver and I'm in my truck down at the docks.
 Me: Pardon???
 Punter: I'm a really nice guy, 28 years old and fit!
 Me: Listen sweetheart, I don't need the money that desperately that I am going to drive down to the docks and get in a lorry at      midnight with a strange man.
 Punter: But I'm a really nice guy. My name's (name). I'll send you a picture.
 Me: I'm sure Jack The Ripper was a really nice guy too and whilst I'm sure you're not going to abduct me for the white slave trade either, I think I'll pass until you're back in town and book a hotel!!

Been pissing myself over this for the last two days PLUS as an added bonus I got a picture of his truck. It sure beats the usual cock pic!!!!  ;D

Any takers? I'll pass on his number LOL

OMG I had one exactly like that the other week!  When I said no he asked if I knew any girls at Salamander Street (Edinburgh red light district) that would do it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: luciefate on 17 October 2014, 08:58:32 pm
ROFL, Curvygal!!

The day I have to do 'truck meets' down at the bloody docks, I'm hanging up my stockings.

That could be the both of us girl, sailing of as bloody concubines of Abdul Abulbul Amir in the land that time forgot wearing yashmaks!!!!

I am still pissing myself with my twisted and warped visions of Arabian Nights - HA HA HA !!!!! ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosa on 17 October 2014, 09:20:06 pm
Turned up at my door, claimed to have lost phone number and asked "wondered if you had any appointments?"

I was in some quite alternative clothing(and not in a sexy way) ;D

Very, very rare this happens. Majority of clients know it's unacceptable, and just wouldn't. Almost always localish or just down the road types.

A real pity.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: alice842 on 18 October 2014, 12:14:11 am
'session I want to start of standing in front of you both now I am very sexist so would be a fitting punishment , I want you to make me take all my clothes of including my pants then place my hands on my head while you both make fun of me being fat ... etc.
If you can cater for this please let me know x'

Made me laugh as he'd obviously messed up his copy and paste email and only sent me the second half!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 18 October 2014, 10:37:16 am
Calls me up begging to do half an hour for ?60 rather than my charged ?80. Now I know that ?80 seems a bit much, but half an hour bookings are bloody inconvenient and from what I've read here a lot of the time turn into 45 minutes or even an hour as the guy hasn't cum yet! Also as a student I know that many will think half an hour is an excellent way to squeeze me in between lectures... Not my fault you're too cheap to afford me, look elsewhere or buy a fleshlight. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Reni on 19 October 2014, 12:51:33 am
Text: Dear **** you are a beautiful Indian lady. I am Indian a swel from A*** I want really sincere time with you and make hard love please respond.

Bleugh
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: niccis on 19 October 2014, 01:53:57 am
Him: fancy met up xx

me (too nice lol): Hi at the moment im only doing incalls so i wudnt b able to visit u at ur place.
U can come see me for sum real good fun ?80 half hr no extra charges or its ?130 for a whole hr cum as many times as u like ;-)

Him: Mmm ;) what about 40 for 30 mins and I'll come to u babe x

Me:  :FF :FF :FF :FF
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 19 October 2014, 07:11:54 pm
Email:

"I saw your profile on Adultwork and ....."


Most pointless message ever
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosa on 19 October 2014, 07:37:03 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 19 October 2014, 07:11:54 pm
Email:

"I saw your profile on Adultwork and ....."


Most pointless message ever

Why?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 20 October 2014, 12:24:04 am
Quote from: Rosa on 19 October 2014, 07:37:03 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 19 October 2014, 07:11:54 pm
Email:

"I saw your profile on Adultwork and ....."


Most pointless message ever

Why?

I didn't personally receive this email, but if someone messaged me JUST saying "I saw your profile on Adultwork and ....." then I really would know this was the most pointless email ever!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 20 October 2014, 12:41:20 am
Received at approx 4am yesterday morning:

Ways up need a big tit and big booty hoe

...and 30 seconds later:

Ways up sexy I was not u bad hit me up

I kind of understand the first one... "What's up, I would like a whore with big breasts and bottom" ... but the second one eludes me. Either way, that's as far as his 'booking request' goes.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: luciefate on 20 October 2014, 09:50:05 am
I am doing hotel incalls so always answer the phone:

3am. Phone call from a Stag leader as their stripper has let them down.

SL: Me and the lads have been out drinking all day yesterday and all night and our stripper has let us down so we're looking for anyone to come and play with the groom and best man. It probably won't involve sex. ( No shit Sherlock; not after all that alcohol!) We've had a whip round and it's good money.

I basically decline (for obvious reasons)

5.30am. Phone call and he's now desperate!

SL: I can't find anyone and all the agencies are closed. (PMSL) and I'll send a taxi. Will you 'do' the groom and best man. The others have gone to bed. My wife's away and I'm randy as hell.

Decline, end call, block, turn over and sleep (again!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 20 October 2014, 12:08:29 pm
Anyone who sends me an email with their phone number asking me to call or text them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DustedWithSugar on 20 October 2014, 09:10:41 pm
Guys begging to send them picture "hun just one photo please" (in multiply versions) and using word "hun" i general. I HATE it!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Reni on 20 October 2014, 10:06:45 pm

Hey, you seem a real treat. I like the idea of sneaking away from work for lunch to spend it with you.

Do you offer massages and BJ's? I am looking for a BJ at the most, not sex.

Also how long have you been in Here?

And how guaranteed is your discretion?

Thanks babe, speak to you soon.

No answer to what he means by guaranteed discretion...
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Reni on 21 October 2014, 12:06:25 pm
This is a strange one.

Hi there,
Nice profile on AW. I have a request that I'm wondering if you can fulfil.....
Would you be prepared to save your client's cum filled condoms so that I can buy them from you?
I'll pay an hours rate for a decent amount of them (preferably frozen for hygiene reasons).
Are you interested?

Why???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DustedWithSugar on 21 October 2014, 01:07:22 pm
Quote from: Reni on 21 October 2014, 12:06:25 pm
This is a strange one.

Hi there,
Nice profile on AW. I have a request that I'm wondering if you can fulfil.....
Would you be prepared to save your client's cum filled condoms so that I can buy them from you?
I'll pay an hours rate for a decent amount of them (preferably frozen for hygiene reasons).
Are you interested?

Why???
I think I saw this message somwhere here in this topic before  ;D

Regular just texted me with confession of love. Christ, those men are so deluded!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 21 October 2014, 07:34:59 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 19 October 2014, 07:11:54 pm
Email:

"I saw your profile on Adultwork and ....."


Most pointless message ever

I have had dozens of these emails over the past few years.  It seems they think it is automatically filled in.  It seems to only happen if they use an Iphone though and click on our email address on AW.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 21 October 2014, 07:53:22 pm
i've actually had that request a few times now... always blocked and deleted

yuk!


Quote from: Reni on 21 October 2014, 12:06:25 pm
This is a strange one.

Hi there,
Nice profile on AW. I have a request that I'm wondering if you can fulfil.....
Would you be prepared to save your client's cum filled condoms so that I can buy them from you?
I'll pay an hours rate for a decent amount of them (preferably frozen for hygiene reasons).
Are you interested?

Why???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 22 October 2014, 01:51:30 pm
One man's texting...

7th March- Hi do you do with or without?
21st August- Do you like big black cock?
22nd October- You do bj cim for ?20?

Wow! A whole ?20  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 22 October 2014, 03:10:18 pm
Quote from: Reni on 21 October 2014, 12:06:25 pm
This is a strange one.

Hi there,
Nice profile on AW. I have a request that I'm wondering if you can fulfil.....
Would you be prepared to save your client's cum filled condoms so that I can buy them from you?
I'll pay an hours rate for a decent amount of them (preferably frozen for hygiene reasons).
Are you interested?

Why???

I do this! Not strange for me but I can understand why it is to some girls x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 24 October 2014, 09:08:26 am
This guy who sends me the same cut and paste message every other month.

"
Hi,

Saw your profile and love your pic you look WOW!!!

Hope you dont mind me asking...I would like to arrange booking and wonder if it ok to take photo/vid of you and my big cock (owo, facial).

if this ok let me know.

look forward to hearing from and seeing you soon. Can't wait for you to sit on my big cock

Ben
x"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 24 October 2014, 12:25:43 pm
I'm a student so I can rarely do weekday bookings until after 6pm. I say this on my profile.

One guy - "I've booked a hotel on Tuesday, what's your timetable like."

"I finish at 6 on Tuesday."

"Surely that's not all the way from the morning!"

"No, my first lecture is at 1 but it's very difficult for me to fit in bookings in the morning as I am outcalls only and have to compensate for travel, showering, changing into something more appropriate for uni, and making my way to uni on time."

"How about 9? That's gives you plenty of time."

"I have an appointment with the bank at 10."

"How about 11 then?"

"Appointments tend to last an hour and may overrun, that gives me no time to get to your hotel."

"Can't you just miss a lecture?"

??? I swear to god, can these people get the hint that when I say WEEKDAY EVENINGS AND WEEKENDS ONLY, I bloody mean it. I don't just say I'm a student for the sake of it, I actually bloody am and I'm not going to risk my education to do the job I'm using to pay for my education!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Reni on 26 October 2014, 05:32:25 pm
Can I pay you through PayPal?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 26 October 2014, 06:57:47 pm
Quote from: Reni on 26 October 2014, 05:32:25 pm
Can I pay you through PayPal?

"Sure! Go ahead, I just LOVE chargebacks!"  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Reni on 26 October 2014, 08:35:36 pm
What next tesco vouchers?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 26 October 2014, 10:34:20 pm
When clients make a booking after have asked for a time then replied with around 4pm. No appointment times like this will be accepted in the civy world. For example a Gps appointment. They say what time then answer with around 10am. Around the top of the hour isn't a time more like they want to drive me around the block with their madness. So when this usually happens then I decide a time close to the original politely which they say ok.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 27 October 2014, 12:02:23 am
Quote from: Reni on 26 October 2014, 08:35:36 pm
What next tesco vouchers?

At least they can't be charged back!

(nb: I would only accept Tesco vouchers as a gift, tribute, or bonus. Never as payment for services.)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 27 October 2014, 01:18:19 am
I've had several clients ask if they can pay me via credit card...er where exactly do they think they can swipe it?!?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 27 October 2014, 09:35:21 am
Quote from: Reni on 21 October 2014, 12:06:25 pm
This is a strange one.

Hi there,
Nice profile on AW. I have a request that I'm wondering if you can fulfil.....
Would you be prepared to save your client's cum filled condoms so that I can buy them from you?
I'll pay an hours rate for a decent amount of them (preferably frozen for hygiene reasons).
Are you interested?

Why???


Haha I had exact same message! I asked him why and he likes smelling it and tasting it whilst wanking apparently
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 27 October 2014, 09:41:52 am
Quote from: lucielee on 17 October 2014, 12:04:21 am
Oh Curvygal - what a cheeky bas!! LOL

Here's one from 2 nights ago:

By phone.

 Punter:  Hi Lucie, I'm in (my town) and I would like to book you for an outcall.
 Me:        Sure, no problem. Which hotel are you staying in?
 Punter:  I'm actually a long distance lorry driver and I'm in my truck down at the docks.
 Me: Pardon???
 Punter: I'm a really nice guy, 28 years old and fit!
 Me: Listen sweetheart, I don't need the money that desperately that I am going to drive down to the docks and get in a lorry at      midnight with a strange man.
 Punter: But I'm a really nice guy. My name's (name). I'll send you a picture.
 Me: I'm sure Jack The Ripper was a really nice guy too and whilst I'm sure you're not going to abduct me for the white slave trade either, I think I'll pass until you're back in town and book a hotel!!

Been pissing myself over this for the last two days PLUS as an added bonus I got a picture of his truck. It sure beats the usual cock pic!!!!  ;D

Any takers? I'll pass on his number LOL

Love it! That's hilarious. I'm a really nice guy... Argh when will they learn just because they say something does not make it so!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss-M on 27 October 2014, 03:45:42 pm
God I sometimes get some right ones, listen to this one....have to just say this was in blue background and pasted clearly......

Mistress,

About Myself: My name is Raj M*****a an resident Indian. I m the owners son of GUCCI INDIA and in UAE.  We are also into 5 Star Hotel Business in India and UAE. I am 28 years old living in GOA and keep travelling all the twelve months.

I am looking for a real mistress.I want to serve you as i have a foot fetish mam since birth. Need a permanent mistress so that i can serve my rest living years under her shoes.

Please give me this opportunity mam. Your all the expenses will be borne by me mam. You just have to spit on my face mam. I would consider myself lucky mam.

Regards,

Your willing to be your slave.

God a very rich Indian bloke wants to buy me everything by the sounds of it.....received another one Saturday saying I'd won the Nigerian lottery.....what a week think il work till Friday then retire!!! Lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Grumpy Cow on 27 October 2014, 07:17:21 pm
Quote from: Miss-M on 27 October 2014, 03:45:42 pm


About Myself: My name is Raj M*****a an resident Indian. I m the owners son of GUCCI INDIA and in UAE.  We are also into 5 Star Hotel Business in India and UAE. I am 28 years old living in GOA and keep travelling all the twelve months.



That made me laugh out loud- Gucci India?!?!  These guys must think us gals are morons.  As far as I am aware, the Gucci brand still belongs to French parent company Kering  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alice G on 28 October 2014, 12:29:39 am
Quote from: Miss-M on 27 October 2014, 03:45:42 pm
God I sometimes get some right ones, listen to this one....have to just say this was in blue background and pasted clearly......

Mistress,

About Myself: My name is Raj M*****a an resident Indian. I m the owners son of GUCCI INDIA and in UAE.  We are also into 5 Star Hotel Business in India and UAE. I am 28 years old living in GOA and keep travelling all the twelve months.

I am looking for a real mistress.I want to serve you as i have a foot fetish mam since birth. Need a permanent mistress so that i can serve my rest living years under her shoes.

Please give me this opportunity mam. Your all the expenses will be borne by me mam. You just have to spit on my face mam. I would consider myself lucky mam.

Regards,

Your willing to be your slave.

God a very rich Indian bloke wants to buy me everything by the sounds of it.....received another one Saturday saying I'd won the Nigerian lottery.....what a week think il work till Friday then retire!!! Lol x


In order to win the Nigerian lottery though you will need to give out all your bank details. A safer bet is probably foot fetish weirdo Raj! Bloody hell - what planet are these people on? Am sure they must have shrinks in outer space that can help them! All very amusing! x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DustedWithSugar on 28 October 2014, 01:58:31 pm
posted in wrong topic, sorry
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 28 October 2014, 06:06:24 pm
Phonecall today.

Him, are you working?
Me, yes
Him, what's your services and prices?

Phone down and block  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: luciefate on 28 October 2014, 11:49:23 pm
Yesterday's amazing contact within 10 minutes by text (bearing in mind I am doing incalls in a hotel).

Hi babe, how are you?
(I don't reply - because I'm working )

You working?
(I'm still with a client)

Fuck you then!
(Well not by you, but by someone else with a helluva lot more manners!!!  ;D)

Lucky escape I reckon LOL.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: luciefate on 28 October 2014, 11:56:32 pm
Followed by this:

Hi, is this Miss******

(Yes, it is)

Are you working today?

(Yes, but I'm fully booked)

So, I can't book you for an overnight then?

( I'm fully booked, byeeee) Phone down!!

I mean it clearly states on my profile I do NOT do overnights unless it is with regular clients so he was obviously blind as well as deaf!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 29 October 2014, 09:03:46 am
Just woke up to...


"Hi I'm tony from ... I'm discreet 0789******* "

And another ...

"Hey babes

Am new to this but fancy meeting up for some fun.
Can I come as many times as I like????
Do you give a good tit wank ??

Cheers "

You'd think they'd never interacted socially before in their life
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 29 October 2014, 09:08:56 am
Quote from: lucielee on 28 October 2014, 11:49:23 pm
Yesterday's amazing contact within 10 minutes by text (bearing in mind I am doing incalls in a hotel).

Hi babe, how are you?
(I don't reply - because I'm working )

You working?
(I'm still with a client)

Fuck you then!
(Well not by you, but by someone else with a helluva lot more manners!!!  ;D)

Lucky escape I reckon LOL.

Just read a post on the "other" forum yesterday about a girl not answering her phone for over an hour, she was clearly working from what he said but they were all getting their knickers in a twist over how rude it was. Wonder if they'd think it was rude for us to answer the phone in their booking time, idiots
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tigerlily on 29 October 2014, 10:30:18 am
Quote from: TheLittleMatchGirl on 29 October 2014, 09:08:56 am
Quote from: lucielee on 28 October 2014, 11:49:23 pm
Yesterday's amazing contact within 10 minutes by text (bearing in mind I am doing incalls in a hotel).

Hi babe, how are you?
(I don't reply - because I'm working )

You working?
(I'm still with a client)

Fuck you then!
(Well not by you, but by someone else with a helluva lot more manners!!!  ;D)

Lucky escape I reckon LOL.

Just read a post on the "other" forum yesterday about a girl not answering her phone for over an hour, she was clearly working from what he said but they were all getting their knickers in a twist over how rude it was. Wonder if they'd think it was rude for us to answer the phone in their booking time, idiots

Lol. That's like the ones who type...

u working?

and then if I don't respond in 15 minutes

??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 29 October 2014, 07:56:14 pm
"Really would like to see you next week but im just nervous as im a virgin :/"

Received on AW from a guy who has an alias offering services. His alias is a very horny guy who won't do bareback.

Me thinks someone was looking for a reply saying how I would go about calming his nerves.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 29 October 2014, 08:41:43 pm
Text received this evening, apropos of nothing:

"Before I agree to see you, you will need to PROVE you are English and not IN ANY WAY affiliated with the police"

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kazzle on 29 October 2014, 11:06:23 pm
Got an email today -

Hi, I really like your profile and would love to see you. I know you say you're not seeing anyone at the moment but could you make an exception for me?

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 29 October 2014, 11:24:33 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 29 October 2014, 08:41:43 pm
Text received this evening, apropos of nothing:

"Before I agree to see you, you will need to PROVE you are English and not IN ANY WAY affiliated with the police"

How on Earth do you prove you're not affiliated with the police? And why the heck would you be?! Bizarre man.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 30 October 2014, 12:33:30 am
Quote from: KayHerts on 29 October 2014, 11:24:33 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 29 October 2014, 08:41:43 pm
Text received this evening, apropos of nothing:

"Before I agree to see you, you will need to PROVE you are English and not IN ANY WAY affiliated with the police"

How on Earth do you prove you're not affiliated with the police? And why the heck would you be?! Bizarre man.

And why would it matter if you were?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: alice842 on 30 October 2014, 03:16:58 am
Quote from: Caledonia on 30 October 2014, 12:33:30 am
Quote from: KayHerts on 29 October 2014, 11:24:33 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 29 October 2014, 08:41:43 pm
Text received this evening, apropos of nothing:

"Before I agree to see you, you will need to PROVE you are English and not IN ANY WAY affiliated with the police"

How on Earth do you prove you're not affiliated with the police? And why the heck would you be?! Bizarre man.

And why would it matter if you were?

Well, he might live somewhere where prostitution or seeing a sex worker is illegal, like parts of the USA for example.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 30 October 2014, 09:46:52 am
Quote from: alice842 on 30 October 2014, 03:16:58 am
Quote from: Caledonia on 30 October 2014, 12:33:30 am
Quote from: KayHerts on 29 October 2014, 11:24:33 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 29 October 2014, 08:41:43 pm
Text received this evening, apropos of nothing:

"Before I agree to see you, you will need to PROVE you are English and not IN ANY WAY affiliated with the police"

How on Earth do you prove you're not affiliated with the police? And why the heck would you be?! Bizarre man.

And why would it matter if you were?

Well, he might live somewhere where prostitution or seeing a sex worker is illegal, like parts of the USA for example.

Yes he might, but I believe the op is in the Uk (correct me if I'm wrong) so it wouldn't matter wether she was or not.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dani on 30 October 2014, 02:26:38 pm
The best I have received yet

Ui
followed by
Yo haha

I ignored I then get excuse me but why are you ignoring my enquiries to if you are free or not

I decided to reply asking if he thought that I was alien and spoke a different language as the two texts I received did not in any way ask if I was free

I then get
I didn't realise it had to be a formal request I was just asking if you were free in the first two

No I didn't reply.  did I miss something in the first two texts.  Are my reading skills dropping so badly I cant see where he asks if I am free and have I missed it????
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 30 October 2014, 02:43:19 pm
Quote from: Caledonia on 30 October 2014, 09:46:52 am
Quote from: alice842 on 30 October 2014, 03:16:58 am
Quote from: Caledonia on 30 October 2014, 12:33:30 am
Quote from: KayHerts on 29 October 2014, 11:24:33 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 29 October 2014, 08:41:43 pm
Text received this evening, apropos of nothing:

"Before I agree to see you, you will need to PROVE you are English and not IN ANY WAY affiliated with the police"

How on Earth do you prove you're not affiliated with the police? And why the heck would you be?! Bizarre man.

And why would it matter if you were?

Well, he might live somewhere where prostitution or seeing a sex worker is illegal, like parts of the USA for example.

Yes he might, but I believe the op is in the Uk (correct me if I'm wrong) so it wouldn't matter wether she was or not.


Yep I'm in the UK so even if I did have any affiliation with the police it would be completely irrelevant! Strange man  ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 30 October 2014, 05:04:35 pm
Text today
Want 10 mins for ?30, if you agree text postcode ASAP
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MistyBloo on 30 October 2014, 05:21:47 pm
Quote from: KatieKurves on 27 August 2009, 08:14:05 pm
I don't take bookings by text! This guy texted a couple of times so I told him to call me for an an appointment. Got about 8 texts straight after one another, I replied CALL ME FOR AN APPOINTMENT!!!!! I can't I'm driving!!!

Or the ones who ask for an OAP discount!!

It really makes you think sometimes dusn't it.  ::)

xx

ha ha , yes I get that too, although the current excuse is 'I cant I am with the wife'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 30 October 2014, 05:45:20 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 30 October 2014, 05:04:35 pm
Text today
Want 10 mins for ?30, if you agree text postcode ASAP
Just got another text from the same number!
Sex for ?30, please address

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 30 October 2014, 11:22:37 pm
Wasn't really sure what to make of it but I had a guy ask me to see his father in November for his 88th birthday, as "a surprise 18 year old would be a special treat". Made me quite uncomfortable for a variety of reasons, mostly centered around the fact that it would be a surprise and would be very awkward if I was turned away by the man! I haven't responded as I simply don't know how to, but either way my answer is no.

I also had the pleasure of someone repeatedly emailing me "Hi". Nothing else. I would have blocked but gmail doesn't appear to have a block function. So on the fourth time, I say "Please stop just sending me "Hi"." In response, "Ok how much for a fuck". My response was "Bye.". His was then "How cum". Didn't dignify it with a response.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 31 October 2014, 12:02:22 am
I got this brilliant text today ;D

Mmm i adore massive.hanging ones.my wife has 34e

I mean seriously like I care what size his wifes are, suppose I should be glad he wasnt asking if my mum has big boobs too like most of the weirdoes seem too.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 31 October 2014, 08:47:33 am
Quote from: victoryrose on 30 October 2014, 11:22:37 pm
I would have blocked but gmail doesn't appear to have a block function.

To block emails on gmail you have to be on webmail and find and click the cog in the top right of the inbox, then click settings in the drop down

Select the Filters section

Click 'Create New Filter'

Enter the email address you wish to block in the From field and click 'Create filter with this search'

Tick 'Mark as Read', and 'Delete It'

Then click 'Create Filter'  - there is also a tick box that says 'apply filter to matching messages' only tick this if you want to immediately delete all the messages you've already received from that email address.

Hope this helps!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 31 October 2014, 09:33:47 am
Just got off the phone....

Him: Are you available this evening?
Me: I'm sorry but I'm finishing by 6pm today.
Him: Oh, I need to see you at 7. Can you do that?
Me: Sorry - normally I could but it's Halloween and I have plans this evening.
Him: Aw, why not? I really want to see you and I'm not off work until 5:30 and I have to go home and shower and then drive into the city.
Me: I understand, but I'm taking my children trick-or-treating. (I normally avoid mentioning my children but I somehow felt like I owed this guy an explanation and that he'd understand that being a good mum means doing these things... but no...)
Him: Aw, come on! I'll make it worth you while!

I just said I'm sorry and hung up but it took some willpower on my part not to yell at him. Probably something along the lines of WELL ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE IT WORTH MY KIDS' WHILE TOO? BECAUSE MY FIVE-YEAR-OLD WILL BE SO DISAPPOINTED THAT I DOUBT ANYTHING SHORT OF A FUCKING PONY WILL MAKE IT WORTH HIS WHILE.

I shouldn't have mentioned my kids in the first place. Assuming they will understand we're humans with lives that don't revolve around their cocks is a massive mistake on my part.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Prettywoman on 31 October 2014, 10:02:50 am
Quote from: Fabulassie on 31 October 2014, 09:33:47 am
Just got off the phone....

Him: Are you available this evening?
Me: I'm sorry but I'm finishing by 6pm today.
Him: Oh, I need to see you at 7. Can you do that?
Me: Sorry - normally I could but it's Halloween and I have plans this evening.
Him: Aw, why not? I really want to see you and I'm not off work until 5:30 and I have to go home and shower and then drive into the city.
Me: I understand, but I'm taking my children trick-or-treating. (I normally avoid mentioning my children but I somehow felt like I owed this guy an explanation and that he'd understand that being a good mum means doing these things... but no...)
Him: Aw, come on! I'll make it worth you while!

I just said I'm sorry and hung up but it took some willpower on my part not to yell at him. Probably something along the lines of WELL ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE IT WORTH MY KIDS' WHILE TOO? BECAUSE MY FIVE-YEAR-OLD WILL BE SO DISAPPOINTED THAT I DOUBT ANYTHING SHORT OF A FUCKING PONY WILL MAKE IT WORTH HIS WHILE.

I shouldn't have mentioned my kids in the first place. Assuming they will understand we're humans with lives that don't revolve around their cocks is a massive mistake on my part.  :FF


It's annoying, I know!

I think some think we lie on a bed all day with our legs wide open just waiting for their call!!! x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 31 October 2014, 10:33:37 am
Quote from: Prettywoman on 31 October 2014, 10:02:50 am
I think some think we lie on a bed all day with our legs wide open just waiting for their call!!! x

Yeah, definitely! Had a guy get in touch at 10.15pm yesterday, I told him my working hours are till 11pm so it was too late to arrange anything and he text back "It's only quarter past ten are u not working now" - sure let me just get your address, do my security checks, get dressed, jump in my teleporter and show up at your house for 10:30!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 31 October 2014, 10:54:00 am
Well, I have only myself to blame for this....

Phone rang and I answered right away without looking at the phone. Lovely-sounding gent wants a booking at 1. He sounds like the perfect client. I tell him verbally what neighbourhood I am in and say that I will text him my address when we hang up. He says that sounds great and we hang up. Then I notice that he's called from a private number.  :FF Now, if I'd looked at my phone I wouldn't have answered in the first place. Had I realised while we were on the phone I would have told him to shoot me a quick text so that I could reply to it. I do think his intentions were good and he may not have even realised that his number was blocked. Either he figures out that I haven't texted or he'll show up around 1 in my neighbourhood and call me to ask where I am. I suppose if I'm free and a private number shows around 1 then I'll answer. I do think he's genuine. I'm certainly not holding the time slot for him, though.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Prettywoman on 31 October 2014, 10:57:05 am
I had 10pm as my finishing time last night, yet woke up to two messages from the same guy, asking if I was available in the next hour, it was sent at 2am?!!

So they also must think we don't sleep either! Really annoys me this!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 31 October 2014, 12:00:17 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 31 October 2014, 08:47:33 am
Quote from: victoryrose on 30 October 2014, 11:22:37 pm
I would have blocked but gmail doesn't appear to have a block function.

To block emails on gmail you have to be on webmail and find and click the cog in the top right of the inbox, then click settings in the drop down

Select the Filters section

Click 'Create New Filter'

Enter the email address you wish to block in the From field and click 'Create filter with this search'

Tick 'Mark as Read', and 'Delete It'

Then click 'Create Filter'  - there is also a tick box that says 'apply filter to matching messages' only tick this if you want to immediately delete all the messages you've already received from that email address.

Hope this helps!

THANK YOU so, so much!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 31 October 2014, 12:20:12 pm
Quote from: Prettywoman on 31 October 2014, 10:57:05 am
I had 10pm as my finishing time last night, yet woke up to two messages from the same guy, asking if I was available in the next hour, it was sent at 2am?!!

So they also must think we don't sleep either! Really annoys me this!  :FF
I always wake up to an abundance of missed calls and texts. I'm willing to bet none of them would lead to genuine bookings even if I were available at 3am. Blocked one guy because he'd called about ten times within an hour between 3 and 4am!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Prettywoman on 31 October 2014, 01:47:12 pm
Obviously taking the phrase "lady of the night" way too literally!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 31 October 2014, 03:45:55 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 31 October 2014, 12:20:12 pm
Quote from: Prettywoman on 31 October 2014, 10:57:05 am
I had 10pm as my finishing time last night, yet woke up to two messages from the same guy, asking if I was available in the next hour, it was sent at 2am?!!

So they also must think we don't sleep either! Really annoys me this!  :FF
I always wake up to an abundance of missed calls and texts. I'm willing to bet none of them would lead to genuine bookings even if I were available at 3am. Blocked one guy because he'd called about ten times within an hour between 3 and 4am!

I block everybody who calls/text during 1 am- 7 am.
I find them very very rude for calling at such hours.
And I dont want to see such rude people.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 31 October 2014, 05:02:02 pm
12.11pm Hi what are your rates
14.31pm You do anything for ?20
14.35pm I wont be over this way again, how about a ?20 special
14.42pm What you say I'm 2 minutes away.

?20?
Last of the big spenders or what?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 31 October 2014, 07:04:14 pm
Wants me to travel from the coast of Devon to Bristol for a 30 minute booking.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: alice842 on 31 October 2014, 11:52:28 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 31 October 2014, 09:33:47 am
WELL ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE IT WORTH MY KIDS' WHILE TOO? BECAUSE MY FIVE-YEAR-OLD WILL BE SO DISAPPOINTED THAT I DOUBT ANYTHING SHORT OF A FUCKING PONY WILL MAKE IT WORTH HIS WHILE.

Haha! Some guys really are prats. With guys like this, I just tell them what I need to make it worth my while. A guy asked for 10mins for ?20 and I told him my minimum booking time was 1 hour so regardless of how quick he was he'd still need to pay that rate, also because he'd pissed me off I'd want an extra ?30. Needless to say I got no reply but it amuses me to make up ridiculous things I'd want for acquiescing to their stupid requests - a pony's a good one  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 01 November 2014, 07:20:09 am
"Hello. Can you contact me with sms please." sent to my email addy as an MMS, so I can't really reply. And I have it clearly stated on my website that I do not divulge my phone number until after I've agreed to meet someone. Some people. *facedesk*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 02 November 2014, 04:27:05 pm
Outcall booking through email. No feedback function so I have nothing to refer to in terms of how he's treated other escorts (and apparently I am his first). I ask for a utility bill.

He says that request has made him "stressed" and somehow thinks it appropriate to ask for proof of my name and age! Er.. For one, you must be having a laugh if you think my escort name is my real name and second, how exactly do you think I can prove my age without outright showing you my ID? That's what my AW verification is for!

He got the hint quite quickly but I said I wouldn't take the booking. Probably a bit harsh but if a client pisses me off even slightly it's off with them immediately, and if he didn't understand that basic request then who knows what his understanding of boundaries is like.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 02 November 2014, 04:48:23 pm
Hello Goddess, sorry to text and I am serious and will make a bank deposit to you, I would love to worship you tomorrow for 2 hours but I'm wondering if you do hard sports as in me as your full toilet, as well as other kinds of worship which I love to do, lol xx

Goddess! Lol! I hate bloody lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shy sexy xxx on 02 November 2014, 07:09:54 pm
Hi,
   Today I received a really weird message on Adultwork from a bloke using the username 'Samlondon200'...he is probably harmless but very strange.
He messaged me asking if I would like to take him out for food and drinks LOL with a view to going back to my place. He was very specific that he wanted to get to know me as I am British and had recently broken up with his girlfriend.
I initially thought he got his words mixed up about ME taking HIM out so I messaged him back and seems he actually meant it. I explained basically that I do dinner dates but only with clients I have previously met and outcall prices would apply. He responded that he really wants to get to know me as a person as I seem clever?! Then proceeds to ask how can we get to know eachother prior to him booking an incall? He then tries to ask what I am up to....
PROPER TIMEWASTER!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: niccis on 02 November 2014, 11:50:27 pm
Lol gotta sympathise shy sexy! I had a guy messaging me asking me why I was on adultwork and would i like to meet up and get to know him lol... i was so confused... is he thinking its a dating site or what?!
I just told him im on AW as it helps me promote my business as an escort lol
He didnt make a booking but just sends me msgs to 'chat' now lol wtf  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 03 November 2014, 07:42:34 am
So last night I was terribly bored watching Downton and i get a call from a witheld number lol

Him: Hello
Me Hello
Him: Do you want to hear me cum
Me: Hello
Him: Do you want to hear me cum
Me:Hello then put the phone down lol

the guy called back in total 19 times.  Seriously gets annoying when they think they can do this to you, so i have decided to start taking the piss out of a phone wanker. 

Then I was watching Drive last night and a guy calls me just after midnight for an incall.  Sure i said and gave him the address for my local police station lol.

but my biggest pet hate is when they call you wanting to know your rates, are you available bla bla bla i just tend to put the phone down on them as it states on my profile.  Read it or be ignored.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MistyBloo on 03 November 2014, 12:50:32 pm
(Didn't know if this is the right section as cannot pin the term timewaster or dangerous on this guy so feel free to move it)

Has anyone else encountered Martin from the Northwest area that keeps texting asking if you do a fart fetish? I have had texts from him since July and even though I tell him I am open minded he doesn't take the hint, Obviously forgets who he has contacted. Never calls up just texts & I cant tell if he is just messing about or serious as I know some people DO have fetish for this kind of thing?

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 03 November 2014, 12:55:11 pm
There isn't a 'right' section for this, so I've merged it here - most of us receive numerous numpty texts from people who are never going to book and we just block them and forget about it. It's part and parcel of the job.

Since he's contacted you continuously and not made any sort of firm arrangements I'd suggest you stop engaging with him and do the same.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 03 November 2014, 05:53:50 pm
 caller...Hi adultwork !!!
Me.....   my name is not adultwork its Caroline,
caller....... Adultwork can I see you today?
me          no thanks ... ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 03 November 2014, 06:02:29 pm
Via text.
Knobhead:Are you free today?
Me:Yes please ring rather than text.
Knobhead:You ring me x
Me:Do you text your GP or hairdresser and ask them to ring you?No?Then guess what I am not ringing you..jog on.
Knobhead:Fine I'll call soon chill out.Are you a tranny?
Me:Do you need specsavers?No I am not!Don't bother ringing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Reni on 03 November 2014, 06:14:08 pm
Quote from: Erotic flower on 03 November 2014, 05:53:50 pm
caller...Hi adultwork !!!
Me.....   my name is not adultwork its Caroline,
caller....... Adultwork can I see you today?
me          no thanks ... ::)

Good comeback
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 03 November 2014, 09:35:00 pm
"Hi, I have a fantasy that I devised with an ex girlfriend that never came to fruition.
I was to be teased and frustrated and to be locked in a chastity cage (I have a brand new one) and then I was to be made to lend her friend my TVR sportscar basically for as long as she wanted, extra frustrating as it is my pride and joy. I was wondering if you would be interested in say a one hour booking for tease and lock up and then to be made to leave my keys with you for use of the TVR as and when you liked. I can then of course come back for extra teasing at your whim."

Uh-huh. Sure.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 03 November 2014, 10:30:50 pm
Quote from: Fluffy Bunny on 03 November 2014, 07:42:34 am
So last night I was terribly bored watching Downton and i get a call from a witheld number lol

Him: Hello
Me Hello
Him: Do you want to hear me cum
Me: Hello
Him: Do you want to hear me cum
Me:Hello then put the phone down lol

the guy called back in total 19 times.  Seriously gets annoying when they think they can do this to you, so i have decided to start taking the piss out of a phone wanker. 

Then I was watching Drive last night and a guy calls me just after midnight for an incall.  Sure i said and gave him the address for my local police station lol.

but my biggest pet hate is when they call you wanting to know your rates, are you available bla bla bla i just tend to put the phone down on them as it states on my profile.  Read it or be ignored.

Ive got all withhelds blocked on my work phone , as they are a waste of time.

Saves much hassle.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 03 November 2014, 10:32:09 pm
Quote from: bibi on 03 November 2014, 06:02:29 pm
Via text.
Knobhead:Are you free today?
Me:Yes please ring rather than text.
Knobhead:You ring me x
Me:Do you text your GP or hairdresser and ask them to ring you?No?Then guess what I am not ringing you..jog on.
Knobhead:Fine I'll call soon chill out.Are you a tranny?
Me:Do you need specsavers?No I am not!Don't bother ringing.
Quote from: bibi on 03 November 2014, 06:02:29 pm
Via text.
Knobhead:Are you free today?
Me:Yes please ring rather than text.
Knobhead:You ring me x
Me:Do you text your GP or hairdresser and ask them to ring you?No?Then guess what I am not ringing you..jog on.
Knobhead:Fine I'll call soon chill out.Are you a tranny?
Me:Do you need specsavers?No I am not!Don't bother ringing.

Hmm , the "are you a tranny" part reminds me of "Martin" whos just been put in the TW section.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 03 November 2014, 10:41:38 pm
Quote from: MistyBloo on 03 November 2014, 12:50:32 pm
(Didn't know if this is the right section as cannot pin the term timewaster or dangerous on this guy so feel free to move it)

Has anyone else encountered Martin from the Northwest area that keeps texting asking if you do a fart fetish? I have had texts from him since July and even though I tell him I am open minded he doesn't take the hint, Obviously forgets who he has contacted. Never calls up just texts & I cant tell if he is just messing about or serious as I know some people DO have fetish for this kind of thing?

 

From Bury by any chance ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 03 November 2014, 11:00:08 pm
"Tell me about yourself" umpteen frigging times, and won't be more specific about what he wants to know...
Moves on to "Do you use toys?... Can I listen to you use one?"
Me: no
"Do you want to hear me come?"
Me: No. Goodbye

I started a free trial on Vivastreet today. Plus point is that my phone has rung constantly and I did get one confirmed booking from it. But SO MANY freaking timewasters like the above. Let's see what the next 29 days bring...  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 03 November 2014, 11:15:50 pm
Quote from: hotblondie Bristol on 31 October 2014, 03:45:55 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 31 October 2014, 12:20:12 pm
Quote from: Prettywoman on 31 October 2014, 10:57:05 am
I had 10pm as my finishing time last night, yet woke up to two messages from the same guy, asking if I was available in the next hour, it was sent at 2am?!!

So they also must think we don't sleep either! Really annoys me this!  :FF
I always wake up to an abundance of missed calls and texts. I'm willing to bet none of them would lead to genuine bookings even if I were available at 3am. Blocked one guy because he'd called about ten times within an hour between 3 and 4am!

I block everybody who calls/text during 1 am- 7 am.
I find them very very rude for calling at such hours.
And I dont want to see such rude people.

Me too .  Dont block as my block list is full now on my el cheapo old work phone !

My work phone is off after 9pm , but its not uncommon for me to get a ton of texts when i switch on the next morn. Weekends are worse for this , and i just save them under "4am txts" . Actually had a call at a sensible hours from one of these the other day , i answered and explained i wont be seeing him as he has either not read the profile or ignored the part that says "dont text" ( esp at 4am!) .

When i was new and naive I took a booking at midnight , incall to mine, from a young lad who was "on way home from town and horny as fuck"  , seemed a bit of a jack the lad on the phone but polite enough and didnt sound drunk so I thought why not. . .   Thankfully my BF was in the house ( usually id work alone in the house but it was so late i wanted backup + the local pub was shut and I could'nt really expect the BF  to wander the streets for hour +)  . This coked up young idiot was one of the worse bookings ive ever done.  A young man whos been ruined by too much hard porn I guess  , cant keep hard as taken too much coke ( he told me this as soon as we got undressed). Hard work , tiresome , boundray pusher who wouldnt take No for an answer. Basically the "usual" GFE wasnt doing it for him. He wanted me to be "really filthy porn slut style" ( not my thing i dont offer it). He gave me the most painful fingering ive ever had , got him to stop then he kept trying to do it again....He just didnt "get " that for me to get into my filther mode I need to get turned on , he was only giving me pain and annoyance. Sex out of question as he could only get a semi. I agreed to do watersports on him as he wanted to "try something kinky" , im trying to wee on him and hes roughly shoving fingers into me . I ended up getting very annoyed , left the room to check time and we were an hour overun ! I went back to him and said he will have to go as he is never going to "cum" and Im sore and we are an hour over time. Didnt ask for extra money for the time as i just wanted him gone . He then started getting on one with me saying he wants a refund "cos he aint cum" . Absolute nightmare idiot of a client.

I ended up having to get BF out who was very calm and just said " time to go home , you are taking the piss now. Shall i ring you a taxi"....Idiot mumbles "er yeah mate , taxi , er sorry " . :)

So , thats my experience of the late night crowd. Going by the sort of texts received in the early hours I imagine the clients will be more of the same , no thanks !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 03 November 2014, 11:31:50 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 29 October 2014, 07:56:14 pm
"Really would like to see you next week but im just nervous as im a virgin :/"

Received on AW from a guy who has an alias offering services. His alias is a very horny guy who won't do bareback.

Me thinks someone was looking for a reply saying how I would go about calming his nerves.

He must be emailing a lot of ladies and trying his luck. I got a different message that seemed reasonable enough at first , just a normal "are you avail to meet me later " type thing. Said yes , call me...... I checked his AW page out and it says he is gay !! And yes bareback too. I mailed back telling him not to bother calling as I dont wish to see barebackers , and why is he hitting up women when he identifies as gay. . . Very Horny Guy .


Very Weird Guy more like. HIs barebacking ass is now blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 03 November 2014, 11:42:52 pm
Quote from: Shy sexy xxx on 02 November 2014, 07:09:54 pm

   Today I received a really weird message on Adultwork from a bloke using the username 'Samlondon200'...he is probably harmless but very strange.
He messaged me asking if I would like to take him out for food and drinks LOL with a view to going back to my place. 

Just when you think you've heard/seen it all....He wants you to give him your time for free , and for you to pay for his drinks/meal too!! Cheeky bleeder! :) 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 04 November 2014, 12:28:00 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 13 September 2014, 01:25:00 pm
Now added to my blocked list, here's a recent exchange of emails I've just had with a guy I've never seen or spoken to before. This is a classic case of wanting to Top from the Bottom. And, apparantly, because clients pay us for sex, we are their employees??! Funniest thing I've heard this weekend.

HIM:
Dear Mistress Cat. hello mistress my name is ***. i'm 44yrs old 5ft 9inch tall & i'm from manchester. Dear Mistress i think you look awesome & i would like to book you for 2hrs facesitting & squashing please.
i would like to know if you would be willing to come to a hotel in manchester because i'm unfamiliar with hotels in london. i already have details of a manchester hotel that i would like to use (obviously with your permission) the hotel is the *** & it's location is barely a 5 minutes walk from ***.
yours respectfully
***.

AND THEN ANOTHER FROM HIM:
Dear Mistress Cat. if you have any questions for me or if you feel i've left out any details? then please don't hesitate to ask.
yours respectfully
***.


ME:
Hi ***
I'm sorry, but I have no plans to visit Manchester. Do let me know if you ever come to London and we can arrange something then.
Regards
Cx

HIM:
don't take this the wrong way lady but it's usually considered good manners to reply to something like a booking request (but hey what the heck if you don't want my money)

ME:
Don't take this the wrong way, dear, but it's considered extremely bad manners to harrass a lady just because you don't receive a reply within YOUR timeframe. Plus you make all the right noises about subbing, then act like a flakey fake and start stamping your little foot when you don't get your own way.

As it is, I DID reply, so it's even more rude to assume that I haven't replied. Perhaps blaming your email processor would be a more logical - and polite - first step?

My reply said - basically - sorry I am not planning to visit Manchester at the moment.

Yours, respectfully,

Catherine

HIM:
Dear Mistress Cat. harassing? nothing like it i only sent you 3 email's 1 was 1st contact requesting a booking! 2nd was a polite way of saying if i've missed out any details? then please ask! flakey fake? ha ha:) i am no fake? that's an unusual but quite funny insult:) so how you figure out that i was harassing you after only 3 emails is quite puzzling? you're right to assume that i didn't get your "reply" as for my requesting you to come to manchester. i would indeed want you to come to manchester but i would be covering your travel expenses! plus your booking fee & the hotel expenses as well "i would even be willing to pay you your booking fee full & upfront then once you have confirmation then we arrange a date/time for the booking to take place! the hotel i mentioned is very easy to get to because i'm assuming it would be easier for you to get to manchester via train! & the *** hotel is practically 5mins walk from the train station! it's address is [hotel address]
[hotel phone number]
[hotel reception email]
[hotel website]
so you can check out this hotel & it's location & then you'll know i'm no flakey fake? & once we're in the hotel room & you're sitting nice & comfy on my face then you'll know for definite that i'm not messing you around.
dear mistress please give me a chance to redeem myself. i didn't intend to cause you any upset by the way i worded my email. & so i ask you please allow my booking & judge for yourself whether or not i'm worthy of being your "slave"
yours respectfully ***.

ME:
I'm sorry, I am not able to visit Manchester right now.
Catherine

HIM:
Dear Mistress Cat. i hereby withdraw my booking request! & this is my reason why! you may well be a mistress? but you seem to forget that if i'm paying you to sit on my face then you are effectively my employee! i quite generously offered to cover your travel expenses as well as the hotel fee & obviously your booking fee if you was to come to manchester. if the way you reacted to me by insulting me & calling me a flakey fake? is anything to go by then i'm quite surprised if you have any client's because the way you spoke to me was.....similar to what i'd expect from a child!

Im sure this is "Martin" who I have posted about in Tw/Warnings earlier.
 
I was just doing a catch up on this section and this caught my eye.

He is using the same language as my initial email from him ( polite and wants 2 hour facesitting ) . ALso he used the same phrase " you look awesome"  and signs off "yours respectfully. Later on he cancels and spits his dummy out.  Ive got a feeling this is the same guy ladies.

He either has no intention of showing in the first place , or is a a genuine  plonker who deems himself "sub" but wants to top from the bottom and control things if he shows to the booking.

EDIT - Just checked my initial emails from him, gotta be the same guy as he used the also said " i i'm 44yrs old 5ft 9inch tall " - BINGO !! The saddo is obvs targetting all Mistresses al over UK!

" I hereby withdraw my booking request!" - Yep , exact same wording again.

He is no submissive, just an absolute idiot who got quite nasty with me. I note he used a different  name with you.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 04 November 2014, 01:27:10 am
Man with a few feedback emails at 11pm,
 I'm @@@ and I would like outcall NOW ?40 quickie facesitting and watersports on top of sex.

Really angers me how they think we're all so desperate for money that they can demand it, not ask and for a pittance. I don't offer any ?40 service and no doubt he would run over time with all his requests.

Another one practically begging me to see him. Genuine ones don't beg. If I say I'm not free the good ones say things like oh another time maybe or that's a shame, will call soon. Plus regs never beg if I'm not free so I think those saying 5 or 6 times 'oh go on go on' are desperate to do a no show, if not they're certainly disrespectful of me having any kind of life outside this. Especially with the WGs who say they're taking their kids out or something and still they carry on begging.

They probably don't like it that I haven't fallen for their timewastery so they just keep on begging hoping I'll give in.  Or when I've said I'm not free they ask why?!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Grumpy Cow on 04 November 2014, 01:59:07 am
Quote from: KinkyVixen on 04 November 2014, 12:28:00 am


Im sure this is "Martin" who I have posted about in Tw/Warnings earlier.
 
I was just doing a catch up on this section and this caught my eye.

He is using the same language as my initial email from him ( polite and wants 2 hour facesitting ) . ALso he used the same phrase " you look awesome"  and signs off "yours respectfully. Later on he cancels and spits his dummy out.  Ive got a feeling this is the same guy ladies.

He either has no intention of showing in the first place , or is a a genuine  plonker who deems himself "sub" but wants to top from the bottom and control things if he shows to the booking.

EDIT - Just checked my initial emails from him, gotta be the same guy as he used the also said " i i'm 44yrs old 5ft 9inch tall " - BINGO !! The saddo is obvs targetting all Mistresses al over UK!

" I hereby withdraw my booking request!" - Yep , exact same wording again.

He is no submissive, just an absolute idiot who got quite nasty with me. I note he used a different  name with you.

Oh that Manchester dude Martin - I posted about him a few weeks ago too.  I am not a mistress and different size etc - he contacts totally different ladies, totally at random.  He first emailed me end of 2013 and then got all OTT.  We had quite a giggle about him on here  ;D 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 04 November 2014, 03:01:03 am
What is with these idiots thinking I can get to their houses in ten minutes?

I've had one try to book me for a couple of weeks now, it was always on days I couldn't make it so I had to say no each time. Finally he asks for a time I can make, and proceeds to tell me he wants to travel to his place (a 2 hour train away) for a 30 minute booking. No thanks!

They don't seem to realise that if I'm a uni student, that makes me LESS desperate as I only need around one or two bookings a week and I'm still far better off than almost everyone else around me (other students, that is). I've been increasingly rude in my responses to people that I know are timewasters and I couldn't care less. If anything, it's an enjoyable way to deal with them! And if I get a name for being sassy, so be it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DustedWithSugar on 04 November 2014, 03:33:36 am
I have one client which I saw couple of times already and he's soooo annoying! Usually he expects me to show up in his place in matter of minutes (nevermind that I live on opposite side of city), has the most ridiculous requests which never come to reality, cose he's getting overexcited and hes movements remind me of rabbit suffering from epilepsy. On halloween night he had request to have sex in some public place.
Really mate? On one of very few nights when most of people are outside celebrating?  :FF He doesnt take no for answer ("but baby whyyyy?"). So bloody annoying. He's obviously blocked now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 04 November 2014, 08:21:00 am
Quote from: victoryrose on 04 November 2014, 03:01:03 am
What is with these idiots thinking I can get to their houses in ten minutes?

I've had one try to book me for a couple of weeks now, it was always on days I couldn't make it so I had to say no each time. Finally he asks for a time I can make, and proceeds to tell me he wants to travel to his place (a 2 hour train away) for a 30 minute booking. No thanks!

They don't seem to realise that if I'm a uni student, that makes me LESS desperate as I only need around one or two bookings a week and I'm still far better off than almost everyone else around me (other students, that is). I've been increasingly rude in my responses to people that I know are timewasters and I couldn't care less. If anything, it's an enjoyable way to deal with them! And if I get a name for being sassy, so be it.

I'm going to finger-wag you a minute, here: you may get more than a "name for being sassy." You may anger a real weirdo. Everyone has succumbed to the temptation to reply sassily to dumb emails but it is really better not to. You never know when you piss off someone who is actually dangerous. They can change their names and manner of approach and still get to you. They can also wage an online campaign against you and you could end up on some "dangerous prossie" list somewhere.

We're not paid to email these twats so try to remember that and give them as little of your energy as possible. Venting or laughing about it here can be fun but  never engage these guys if you're not going to be getting any money out of them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: luciefate on 04 November 2014, 08:39:19 am
I completely agree. It is so easy to respond in the negative. The best way I have found is to completely ignore and block. I responded once to a twat and felt bad afterwards as the outcome could be far worse than e mail ping pong. We have to get used to these timewasters and there is no point devoting any energy to them.

Be safe, girls.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 04 November 2014, 12:29:37 pm
If they're actually dangerous, that's completely different. I have had a look at said lists and I think that sending someone a message detailing why it's quite rude to send a booking request without any previous point of contact isn't the same thing as stealing someone's wallet as some WGs on there are reported to have done... The message is almost always before a block as well. I'd rather reply at least once so I don't get a rep for not responding or having horrible communications, although if it really gets to say, five or ten times a day then of course I won't respond. It's not like I respond to every one either, that really would be tiresome.

I know you have good intentions but you haven't seen the nature of my emails, they really are just simply informing the person why I won't take a booking with the same "sassy" tone that is found in some parts of my profile. Never, ever, anything insulting or any name-calling. The most I have to lose is the rep of the persona in my profile, in which case I'll make a new one, tell my regulars, and do the next city over instead. I won't fall for them making new profiles as I take guys with 30+ recent positive feedbacks from active escort profiles, and those who don't have that have to give me a utility bill now. Fairly difficult to get to me pretending to be someone else (as two people have previously done - this wasn't even following a "sassy" email, simply me not being able to make the time they wanted).

I see plenty of WGs here talking about how they tell off people who blatantly haven't read their profile. How is this any different? That's literally all I'm doing. If somebody posts a thread on one of those forums and then deters the kind of people that read said threads in the first place from booking me, then so be it. In fairness, I'm probably not their type anyway.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 04 November 2014, 01:19:10 pm
I don't even tell off the guys who don't read my profile. If they're on the phone asking dumb questions I will either pretend to be booked until February 2018 or I will say, "Why don't you have a read of my profile - it answers all of your questions - and get back to me?" Sometimes I will reply to borderline emails with a polite "I'm sorry but I don't think I'm the girl for you. Good luck finding someone more suitable." I will do that if I think they're possibly  just clueless and don't want to be outright rude.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 04 November 2014, 10:45:04 pm
Quote from: victoryrose on 04 November 2014, 12:29:37 pm
If they're actually dangerous, that's completely different. I have had a look at said lists and I think that sending someone a message detailing why it's quite rude to send a booking request without any previous point of contact isn't the same thing as stealing someone's wallet as some WGs on there are reported to have done... The message is almost always before a block as well. I'd rather reply at least once so I don't get a rep for not responding or having horrible communications, although if it really gets to say, five or ten times a day then of course I won't respond. It's not like I respond to every one either, that really would be tiresome.


You won't know if they're dangerous or not.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 04 November 2014, 11:19:31 pm
Same with anyone that contacts me... I meant dangerous-sounding beforehand, as in I wouldn't respond to someone that was being threatening in the way that I've phrased these messages (which are really nothing more than the example Fabulassie gave with her message about the profile, I just felt a bit sassy-verging-on-rude when I typed virtually the same thing). Just because those that I see have managed to use the right words and keep a nice tone with me doesn't mean they're not just as dangerous and easily-triggered when they are made to feel even slightly silly. My point is that I am already putting myself in massive danger by going round to their house, I don't really care that much about someone getting offended because I told them that they have asked me for something I blatantly state I don't do.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 05 November 2014, 09:38:46 am
Got this today.
Are you available today for 30min for 50. I fancy an older woman to take advantage of me.
Me, yes I have availability for 30, no not for 50
Him, ok 55.
Blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 05 November 2014, 10:05:26 am
Had a guy email me yesterday to ask if I have a day job in a shoe shop in a nearby town, as the assistant there was a spitting image for me. Creepy enough but he also said that if he hadn't been there with family he would've asked to my face. Well, I don't have a job in a shoe shop so I told him it was a good job he didn't ask the poor woman if she was an escort! Also, if I had been that person I don't think I would've appreciated being asked about my escorting while at a civvy job!

Oh and he said seeing this person who looks like me makes him 'want to visit'. Charmer!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 05 November 2014, 09:09:04 pm
Text just now,
Him. Do you do pussy squaring and cock milking?
Me. What is pussy squaring?
Him. Your pussy squaring.
Me. I have no idea what pussy squaring is, please ring for enquiries.
Him. Pussy, orgosm spunk.

His spelling mistakes! Of course I know he means squirting but nothing on TV so amused me for a bit!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 05 November 2014, 09:13:29 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 05 November 2014, 09:09:04 pm
Text just now,
Him. Do you do pussy squaring and cock milking?
Me. What is pussy squaring?
Him. Your pussy squaring.
Me. I have no idea what pussy squaring is, please ring for enquiries.
Him. Pussy, orgosm spunk.

His spelling mistakes! Of course I know he means squirting but nothing on TV so amused me for a bit!
He just text back, "Sorry I'm looking for cock milking season"
Is it cock milking season? Nobody told me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 06 November 2014, 09:03:10 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 05 November 2014, 09:13:29 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 05 November 2014, 09:09:04 pm
Text just now,
Him. Do you do pussy squaring and cock milking?
Me. What is pussy squaring?
Him. Your pussy squaring.
Me. I have no idea what pussy squaring is, please ring for enquiries.
Him. Pussy, orgosm spunk.

His spelling mistakes! Of course I know he means squirting but nothing on TV so amused me for a bit!
He just text back, "Sorry I'm looking for cock milking season"


Is it cock milking season? Nobody told me

Yes from the 1 November till dooms day. Cock milking season is in full swing. You mustn't have got the memo.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 06 November 2014, 10:11:16 am
Hello,

I have 2 requests for information following :

I hope you're not going to be hurt by my 2 requests :

1) I wonder if you agree with sex without a condom ?
Of course, i will provide and give you : hiv test if you
accept

2) And is it possible to pay you "several times" before we meet?

My Mail: xxxxxxxxx@gmail.com

Please do not answer if you're not at all interested

Thank you in advance for reading
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 06 November 2014, 10:36:19 am
Quote from: foreign affairs on 06 November 2014, 10:11:16 am
Hello,

I have 2 requests for information following :

I hope you're not going to be hurt by my 2 requests :

1) I wonder if you agree with sex without a condom ?
Of course, i will provide and give you : hiv test if you
accept

2) And is it possible to pay you "several times" before we meet?

My Mail: xxxxxxxxx@gmail.com

Please do not answer if you're not at all interested

Thank you in advance for reading
Besides wanting BB he wants a "lay-away" lay? Paying in installments? now I've heard it all.
Could be he is fishing for your bank details though.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Grumpy Cow on 06 November 2014, 11:41:52 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 05 November 2014, 09:13:29 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 05 November 2014, 09:09:04 pm
Text just now,
Him. Do you do pussy squaring and cock milking?
Me. What is pussy squaring?
Him. Your pussy squaring.
Me. I have no idea what pussy squaring is, please ring for enquiries.
Him. Pussy, orgosm spunk.

His spelling mistakes! Of course I know he means squirting but nothing on TV so amused me for a bit!

He just text back, "Sorry I'm looking for cock milking season"
Is it cock milking season? Nobody told me.




Damn you!  *wipes coffee from screen*  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 06 November 2014, 12:54:48 pm
I will admit to having on occasion replying to ridiculous text-speak with illegible gibberish.

Punter: RU Working?

Me: Mmm yeah ok bb

Punter: Wat? Where RU?

Me: OK bb im in mcslkk

Punter: I can't undrstnd u?

Me: love love mmmm!!! xxx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 06 November 2014, 01:49:36 pm
Don't tempt  me, Fabulassie!

I got a fantastic text the other day - 'Hill'. Just 'Hill'. It's pretty tragic if they can't even get 'Hi' right, no? That's all I could assume he was trying to say...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 07 November 2014, 06:18:22 pm
single simple text message



u got strap ons


um, don't think i'll be responding to that
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 08 November 2014, 03:38:52 pm
Just now.
Phone call.
Him. Hi are you available this afternoon?
Me. No sorry I am not working today.
Him. Oh no I am gutted, just been looking at your pics, I am so horny.
Me. Sorry I am not working till next week.
Him. Will you not just do me half an hour now. You look good for age you look about 47.
Me.Thank you but no sorry. Do you want to book for later in the week.
Him. I'm a good looking 25 yr old, not the ugly old perverts you usually get.
Me. I don't get ugly old perverts.
Him. Please go on I just love fucking old women.
Me. Bye. Blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 08 November 2014, 05:47:19 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 06 November 2014, 12:54:48 pm
I will admit to having on occasion replying to ridiculous text-speak with illegible gibberish.

Punter: RU Working?

Me: Mmm yeah ok bb

Punter: Wat? Where RU?

Me: OK bb im in mcslkk

Punter: I can't undrstnd u?

Me: love love mmmm!!! xxx


PMSL!! That's class, I'll not be able to resist next time!! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 09 November 2014, 08:22:09 am
A trend I've had recently is after I've said I'm not available/don't  travel to their location/otherwise turned them down politely I get a reply of something  like "shame, you looked so hot in your pics" as if I just told them I'm into something horrible and gross that has ruined the image they had of me in their minds!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Danielle AW on 09 November 2014, 09:14:58 am
Quote from: KayHerts on 06 November 2014, 01:49:36 pm
Don't tempt  me, Fabulassie!

I got a fantastic text the other day - 'Hill'. Just 'Hill'. It's pretty tragic if they can't even get 'Hi' right, no? That's all I could assume he was trying to say...


HILL - PMSL!!

i got one the other day say "mori bbes" I'm presuming he meant morning lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 09 November 2014, 11:15:53 am
Quote from: Just An Escort on 09 November 2014, 08:22:09 am
A trend I've had recently is after I've said I'm not available/don't  travel to their location/otherwise turned them down politely I get a reply of something  like "shame, you looked so hot in your pics" as if I just told them I'm into something horrible and gross that has ruined the image they had of me in their minds!

Ugh I get exactly the same! As though I'm going to say "okay okay I'll do it, please want to ejaculate on me again, I need your approval!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 09 November 2014, 08:43:38 pm
ooft, well seen its the full moon this weekend!

i got a whatsapp messa (how?  its not set up to show me as online and i hadn't had my phone on for a day)  saying hi.  ignored it... followed up with ??, still ignored it

text message 5 minutes later.. hi, wanna fok u


email later yesterday from a different guy...

hi, i wanna see you, you b ring grass aye?
just being honest love a smokey wumman


everything was just nonsense as well.  do people think we are turned on by text speak, babbling rubbish or downright rude demands?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 09 November 2014, 11:05:08 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 09 November 2014, 08:43:38 pm
ooft, well seen its the full moon this weekend!

i got a whatsapp messa (how?  its not set up to show me as online and i hadn't had my phone on for a day)  saying hi.  ignored it... followed up with ??, still ignored it

text message 5 minutes later.. hi, wanna fok u


email later yesterday from a different guy...

hi, i wanna see you, you b ring grass aye?
just being honest love a smokey wumman


everything was just nonsense as well.  do people think we are turned on by text speak, babbling rubbish or downright rude demands?

This man is a nutjob but I'm guessing he's asking you to bring weed and saying he loves black women??? Or is that insane?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 09 November 2014, 11:46:55 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 09 November 2014, 08:43:38 pm
ooft, well seen its the full moon this weekend!

i got a whatsapp messa (how?  its not set up to show me as online and i hadn't had my phone on for a day)  saying hi.  ignored it... followed up with ??, still ignored it

text message 5 minutes later.. hi, wanna fok u


email later yesterday from a different guy...

hi, i wanna see you, you b ring grass aye?
just being honest love a smokey wumman


everything was just nonsense as well.  do people think we are turned on by text speak, babbling rubbish or downright rude demands?


Id get rid of whatsapp on the phone your using for escorting ..... You will be inundated with TWs and you dont want anyone finding your FB or "real" life social sites.

( AFAIK all the Farcebooks, twatters etc have "algorythims" that comb your contacts/email etc , and its only a matter of time before the pesky clever computer code is suggesting you as a friend to punters. Best avoided for all WG and clients if you want your ID to stay private)

This is second time tonight ive seen something like this , so il say it again ....you want 2 phones , and keep the social networkig stuff to your personal phone , and for a  hooker phone a cheap basic one will do . It keeps you safe from been found on social sites plus on my cheapo work phone the MMSs dont register , so I dont get to see the cock pics and other rubbish they send.  9/10 cock pic senders dont genuinely want a booking , they just want you to THINK your getting one , so you wil play along with naughty txts etc.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 09 November 2014, 11:56:47 pm
Just received this , another plonker who doesnt read profiles as its clear im done at 9pm and dotn answer txts off new clients.

"hixx" .

I think he means " Hi , XX" . . . Either way , another one for the block list. Hey , who knows some of these men could be nice guys , but Ive no time for those who cant follow a few simple guidelines of how to book.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: StawberryFields on 10 November 2014, 02:10:38 am
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 09 November 2014, 08:43:38 pm
everything was just nonsense as well.  do people think we are turned on by text speak, babbling rubbish or downright rude demands?

I think there's a stereotype that we are all uneducated and such, and they fill in the gaps and assume that the appropriate way to address an escort is along the lines of "heyy sxy bbe wanna fuk u" when they supposedly have jobs to pay for us, and therefore have probably had to write several things in whole words, and speak to people in person without the random street slang inserted. Boggles the mind.

Every time I hear a "babe" or a "hun" or a "luv" I have to resist the urge to rant  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosa on 10 November 2014, 09:26:36 am
Quote from: HollyH on 29 March 2014, 05:21:30 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 26 March 2014, 03:44:23 pm
This is a rather random one! Just got this text:

"Hiya hunni.its mistress brooke hampton here.could you help me out with something please xx "

When I Googled the phone number the top result was the Twitter account of a girl called Brooke Hampton who is a US college student as far as I can tell, so not sure how her Twitter has been linked to a UK mobile number.

I also found a result on a page called "The phone book of Howells Travis" where the number is listed as belonging to someone with a distinctly male name who lives in the UK.

Also a Google search for "mistress brooke hampton" bring up a couple of backpage ads of a Mistress Brooke based in the US in a place called Hampton.

No results on Saafe or any of the usual bad client type places, and I don't intend to reply, just wondering if anyone else has encountered this before or knows how searching a UK phone number can get a US person's Twitter as a Google result? If it wasn't for these weird Google results I would have already ignored and moved on after receiving a message from someone clearly hoping to get off on pretending to be another escort (I've been fooled by that one before!).

I've had the same text 3 times in the time I've been working. For the life of me I can't remember what the reply was when I asked what "she" wanted but I know it was enough for me to forget it. I'm sure the last time I didn't even get a reply. I just thought if she were real she'd email me on my aw account rather than text me so I can check her out. Oh well.

I've just had this text, wanted a slave of hers(if it is coming from a female) to arrange to see me, offered to send me a video.

I've cut the conversation off.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 10 November 2014, 09:29:34 am
Quote from: KinkyVixen on 09 November 2014, 11:46:55 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 09 November 2014, 08:43:38 pm
ooft, well seen its the full moon this weekend!

i got a whatsapp messa (how?  its not set up to show me as online and i hadn't had my phone on for a day)  saying hi.  ignored it... followed up with ??, still ignored it

text message 5 minutes later.. hi, wanna fok u


email later yesterday from a different guy...

hi, i wanna see you, you b ring grass aye?
just being honest love a smokey wumman


everything was just nonsense as well.  do people think we are turned on by text speak, babbling rubbish or downright rude demands?


Id get rid of whatsapp on the phone your using for escorting ..... You will be inundated with TWs and you dont want anyone finding your FB or "real" life social sites.

( AFAIK all the Farcebooks, twatters etc have "algorythims" that comb your contacts/email etc , and its only a matter of time before the pesky clever computer code is suggesting you as a friend to punters. Best avoided for all WG and clients if you want your ID to stay private)

This is second time tonight ive seen something like this , so il say it again ....you want 2 phones , and keep the social networkig stuff to your personal phone , and for a  hooker phone a cheap basic one will do . It keeps you safe from been found on social sites plus on my cheapo work phone the MMSs dont register , so I dont get to see the cock pics and other rubbish they send.  9/10 cock pic senders dont genuinely want a booking , they just want you to THINK your getting one , so you wil play along with naughty txts etc.

That's a good point about social media, that might explain some of the requests I've had lately
I'm not fussed as I don't accept them and I don't care if they know my real name
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 10 November 2014, 11:49:44 am
I'm getting these texts off a young guy, sending me pics of his dick, and then "can you handle it?"
And more nonsense like that.
The creepy thing is, he seems to know where I stay, got a text from him last night, saying I'm just at "..... library",
which is just round the corner from me.
But I'm 99% I haven't seen this guy.. Then again he might have phoned and asked where I'm based or something.
Don't know what he's getting out of it, but a booking it ain't..  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 10 November 2014, 11:53:04 am
I just had an odd call from a bloke who claimed to have rang several weeks ago about him and his wife visiting me. I have no recollection of such a conversation and my phone has an app that tells me if a number has rang before. Apparently this was the first time this number had called despite the chap telling me he had rang from that number.

He then went on to say that I'd sent him and his a wife a photo of a butternut squash. I'd love to know what else they were planning with whoever it was they spoke with a few weeks ago!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 10 November 2014, 12:11:49 pm
'Do you take it up the arse?' No hello or anything lol!

And another claiming to be a nervous newbie who then whittered on about wanting to buy my used panties and asked if he could come on my tits and if I was any good at oral despite him apparently reading my blogs he managed to miss my service list and reviews...hmmm newbie my arse.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 10 November 2014, 12:18:27 pm
A guy emails saying he's agains premarital sex but he's got urges so a prostitute is a good solution.

He ended saying he hoped he wasn't offending me:)))
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 10 November 2014, 05:17:41 pm
Text convo:

Him: R u open?
Me: I'm not a branch of Tesco...
Him: Asda then
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 10 November 2014, 06:50:15 pm
A guy just called asking if he could make a booking for in a year or 2! I told him he'd need to call back nearer the time and asked if I could tell him what we'd do when we did meet. I think not!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 10 November 2014, 09:36:29 pm
Maybe. I'm a but pale maybe though
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 10 November 2014, 10:12:58 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 10 November 2014, 09:36:29 pm
Maybe. I'm a but pale maybe though

This post has totally lost me.... :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 11 November 2014, 12:51:37 am
Quote from: Red KB on 10 November 2014, 11:53:04 am
I just had an odd call from a bloke who claimed to have rang several weeks ago about him and his wife visiting me. I have no recollection of such a conversation and my phone has an app that tells me if a number has rang before. Apparently this was the first time this number had called despite the chap telling me he had rang from that number.

He then went on to say that I'd sent him and his a wife a photo of a butternut squash. I'd love to know what else they were planning with whoever it was they spoke with a few weeks ago!

Theres a guy in this area who is always calling up various escorts  ,wants to chat for ages about "booking with wife" , as soon as you say you will need to speak to the wife to confirm its all genuine etc ............ he goes AWOL. Ive al feeling its the same guy and he is getting confused to who he has and hasnt rung. TW.

Oh sure Ive seen hubby/wife teams before :) ,. but until you get to speak to the "wife" id treat it with a huge pinch of salt.

Butternut squash up the fanny must be all the rage now , seen a pic of it on another site today :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 11 November 2014, 12:55:23 am
Quote from: Red KB on 10 November 2014, 06:50:15 pm
A guy just called asking if he could make a booking for in a year or 2! I told him he'd need to call back nearer the time and asked if I could tell him what we'd do when we did meet. I think not!

Now that is a pisstake , I know its bad customer service and all that , but these types of guys get told to " go forth and multiply" . . . They are not  real customers so wont be treat as such. They just jam the line for genuine guys getting through....A year or 2 !!! They must think we are imbeciles.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 11 November 2014, 09:01:54 am
Just few of the weird /rude texts I get:

7.13 am text: Hi just wondering what is for 30 quid?

4.27 am: 20 year old student
What are your rates.

2.12 am: Hi

22.53 pm: U work 2nite

9 pm: Guy calls, hears my voice and hung up on me.. Text follow:
Sorry my phone speaker is not working very well just seen your add im a 20 year old male do you give oral?

7.22 pm: How much is massage??

6 pm: You working x

5.41 pm: Can I book for a massage plus a couple more extras x

1.44 pm: how much would you charge for 15 min love x.
Me: Nothing, I dont do quickies.

11.25 am: Do u offer these service owo,cim,69,fisting,anal,spitting,rimming and toys? x


And a long one 2 nights ago, 10.53 pm:

Hi hun hows u..its mike and im very interested for an appt on wed&thurs this week &hoping is good4u!!x, i do have a footfetish hope is ok..what size feet you have please? Your welcome text me with thanks lv MXXx..


Another long one received sunday at 7 pm:

Hi there. I'm a 26 year old guy who has recently moved to Bristol. I don't really know anybody so I thought a boring Saturday night in would be a good opportunity to fulfil a fantasy I've had for some time. Do you think you can help me? I'm pretty naive and nervous about it so can you give me some info? Thanks. Dan.

3.10 pm: i need your body how much.

1.37 pm: Hey sweet can I see you for half hour in 20mins?

7 pm:Hi r u up for it !
Me:Can you write in a proper english?
Him:R u wrkin

And a funny true reply from one :))

Hey babe wanna fuck?
Me:No, but I wanna block you
Him: Well you have put up an offer for it so dont get pissy


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 11 November 2014, 10:12:15 am
I've just received a photo of someones cat, no text just a photo of a tabby pussy.  A very nice cat but very random all the same.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Treetop on 11 November 2014, 10:36:25 am
Quote from: mature helen on 11 November 2014, 10:12:15 am
I've just received a photo of someones cat, no text just a photo of a tabby pussy.  A very nice cat but very random all the same.

Lol his made me laugh! Had a persistent tw for weeks asking me for a pic of "on bed spread legs pussy"  I sent him a picture of my gorgeous little cat sitting on my bed like a little  person legs spread. Didn't hear from him again. Maybe I misunderstood? Lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 11 November 2014, 01:45:20 pm
A text just now
Where I want to come?

Timbuktu

Post code?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DustedWithSugar on 11 November 2014, 04:47:58 pm
No hello, no name, nothing, just text:
Do you want to live for free?

And persistent TW:
Hi how are you? You look lovely. Do you offer incalls hun? Where are you based and are you free at the moment?

I don't offer incalls,which is written in bold letters in front of my profile. I hate being called "hun".
And this message was send about 20 times in one hour, geeeeez  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 11 November 2014, 06:05:36 pm
great text just come in this morning...

Babe... quicky?  celtic ticket??

now i think he was asking to pay with a celtic ticket.  now i like football but HATE that team so even if i was temped by offers other than cold hard cash, really??



Quote from: Cat_BBW on 10 November 2014, 10:12:58 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 10 November 2014, 09:36:29 pm
Maybe. I'm a but pale maybe though

This post has totally lost me.... :o

sorry, when trying to interpret my text i think you said he wanted a black girl?  which i'm not.  sorry i see why it was confusing.  these things always make sense in my head haha  x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 11 November 2014, 10:06:53 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 11 November 2014, 06:05:36 pm
great text just come in this morning...

Babe... quicky?  celtic ticket??

now i think he was asking to pay with a celtic ticket.  now i like football but HATE that team so even if i was temped by offers other than cold hard cash, really??



Quote from: Cat_BBW on 10 November 2014, 10:12:58 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 10 November 2014, 09:36:29 pm
Maybe. I'm a but pale maybe though

This post has totally lost me.... :o

sorry, when trying to interpret my text i think you said he wanted a black girl?  which i'm not.  sorry i see why it was confusing.  these things always make sense in my head haha  x

Was this re something I'd posted? Think it was bcos he said he wanted a smokey woman, thought he meant complexion.
I'm likely far off what he meant though as i can't understand his msg either
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 11 November 2014, 10:10:19 pm
Just reread it I think it was that I'd thought, but reading it again I think he just wants someone who smokes and can bring marijuana with the "you bring grass aye" bit
Crazy man lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kazzle on 11 November 2014, 11:17:28 pm
Totally random text from someone I've never heard from before -

Fuck off and go and take some cod liver oil


I'm a little confused by the reference to cod liver oil.



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 11 November 2014, 11:53:04 pm
Today at 13:50: Hi can I come over to yours and have sex with u x
I replied a little later to say I'm not offering incalls and then at 21:45 he finally replied:
Thank u for your reply but I cum in some one else

Thanks for the update on your sex life random dude...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 12 November 2014, 12:18:29 am
Quote from: Kazzle on 11 November 2014, 11:17:28 pm
Totally random text from someone I've never heard from before -

Fuck off and go and take some cod liver oil


I'm a little confused by the reference to cod liver oil.

That made me LOL!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 12 November 2014, 12:19:09 am
Quote from: Just An Escort on 11 November 2014, 11:53:04 pm
Today at 13:50: Hi can I come over to yours and have sex with u x
I replied a little later to say I'm not offering incalls and then at 21:45 he finally replied:
Thank u for your reply but I cum in some one else

Thanks for the update on your sex life random dude...

That's a definite URGH from me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 12 November 2014, 10:37:03 am
 Text message received * Hi completely new to aw never done this before so very nervous had a bad day today(sent at 09.00)!
and need someone to cheer me up so I thought id treat myself are you available?* sent 3 times !
He's clearly doing the rounds and his bad day hasn't even started !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 12 November 2014, 10:42:44 am
Quote from: KinkyVixen on 11 November 2014, 12:55:23 am
Quote from: Red KB on 10 November 2014, 06:50:15 pm
A guy just called asking if he could make a booking for in a year or 2! I told him he'd need to call back nearer the time and asked if I could tell him what we'd do when we did meet. I think not!

Now that is a pisstake , I know its bad customer service and all that , but these types of guys get told to " go forth and multiply" . . . They are not  real customers so wont be treat as such. They just jam the line for genuine guys getting through....A year or 2 !!! They must think we are imbeciles.
crazy isn't it ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sourgrapes on 13 November 2014, 08:10:28 am
Oh man, irritated already, and I haven't had breakfast. Young sounding guy rings up with the "hiya" approach, and asks for an appointment. Sounds as though he is walking fast while making call. Noisily shifting snot around his sinus into the microphone, then proceeds to explain that he doesn't want to pay my full fee, since he's "only into feet", and doesn't want intercourse.   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 13 November 2014, 01:59:34 pm
Hi babe I'm thinking of passing by about 1pm tomorrow, I'll text you to let you know for sure.

Oh really! Thanks, I'll wait with baited breath x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 13 November 2014, 02:38:11 pm
Text at 7.30am: "I want to come and fuck you hard, OWO, CIM in 15min quickie lunchtime. I'll let u know when"
Okaaaay...  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 13 November 2014, 02:42:24 pm
Bet you guys can't wait!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 13 November 2014, 02:46:29 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 13 November 2014, 02:42:24 pm
Bet you guys can't wait!
I've put everything on hold x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 13 November 2014, 06:35:52 pm
Quote from: HollyH on 29 March 2014, 05:21:30 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 26 March 2014, 03:44:23 pm
This is a rather random one! Just got this text:

"Hiya hunni.its mistress brooke hampton here.could you help me out with something please xx "

When I Googled the phone number the top result was the Twitter account of a girl called Brooke Hampton who is a US college student as far as I can tell, so not sure how her Twitter has been linked to a UK mobile number.

I also found a result on a page called "The phone book of Howells Travis" where the number is listed as belonging to someone with a distinctly male name who lives in the UK.

Also a Google search for "mistress brooke hampton" bring up a couple of backpage ads of a Mistress Brooke based in the US in a place called Hampton.

No results on Saafe or any of the usual bad client type places, and I don't intend to reply, just wondering if anyone else has encountered this before or knows how searching a UK phone number can get a US person's Twitter as a Google result? If it wasn't for these weird Google results I would have already ignored and moved on after receiving a message from someone clearly hoping to get off on pretending to be another escort (I've been fooled by that one before!).

I've had the same text 3 times in the time I've been working. For the life of me I can't remember what the reply was when I asked what "she" wanted but I know it was enough for me to forget it. I'm sure the last time I didn't even get a reply. I just thought if she were real she'd email me on my aw account rather than text me so I can check her out. Oh well.

I just got the same text, and I replied out of curiosity:
Me:
Hi Brooke, sure I will help you if I can xx
Brooke:
Im looking for an escort to see one of my slaves babe.you dont have to do anything dominant.just do what you do with your clients xx
Me:
I can see you are in hampton/usa.. Or so you advertise... How come you have an uk number now?
Brooke:
No I don't advertise sweetie.i have too many clients.im looking to get rid of some in fact so if you know of anyone looking for work/slaves xx
Me:
Brooke Hampton is a mistress from Usa, you are using her name to get your fun from it lol. Wrong address sweetie. Blocked

 
I remembered that name so googled her  and got here and to the backpage add from USA.
The phone number is from UK : 077692220xx and when I googled it, I got to a twiter page of a girl called Brooke Hampton :))

I think this guy is bored ..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 13 November 2014, 09:36:39 pm
I know there's some lunatics out there but what is with these people, why?? And how?? Do they have the time and interest in this?! Had that 0000-RS guy msging again, took great pleasure in telling him I knew all about him and he was now known for his behaviour by many escorts from posts on the internet. Blocked him after of course
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 13 November 2014, 11:03:20 pm
Quote from: TheLittleMatchGirl on 13 November 2014, 09:36:39 pm
I know there's some lunatics out there but what is with these people, why?? And how?? Do they have the time and interest in this?! Had that 0000-RS guy msging again, took great pleasure in telling him I knew all about him and he was now known for his behaviour by many escorts from posts on the internet. Blocked him after of course

This has reminded me of a question I had. If we're contacted by someone who's a known timewaster, or worse, should we just get rid of them and keep schtum about the warnings?

I was almost tempted to say something to the Torquay foot nutter, but thought that if I did, it might just prompt another name and number change. So is silence golden in these cases?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 13 November 2014, 11:40:14 pm
I think yes. I never gave them details about how I know they are time wasters/fantazists and so on. Better if they dont know.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: phoenix77 on 14 November 2014, 12:26:41 am
Text in the early hours: "I'm at a bar with my girlfriend if you want to come along for some fun, off the clock."

Yeah right  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MiaSg on 14 November 2014, 12:48:06 am
 :D :D :D
No need for comedy shows for a laugh ,all I need is to read this thread.

Just received texts from one :
Him:"Want to meet"

Him:"Out of work"

Me:"Please call or email to book"

Him:"No cash"

Him: "Just fuck"

Him:"You want to meet"

Him:"Just fuck"

Him:"You gonna suck my dick"

I tend to not waste time answering these guys because most of the times they are just attention seekers.

After no further response from me he just said:
"Fuck off"

Hahaha ok then  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 14 November 2014, 02:23:29 am
Quote from: KayHerts on 13 November 2014, 11:03:20 pm
Quote from: TheLittleMatchGirl on 13 November 2014, 09:36:39 pm
I know there's some lunatics out there but what is with these people, why?? And how?? Do they have the time and interest in this?! Had that 0000-RS guy msging again, took great pleasure in telling him I knew all about him and he was now known for his behaviour by many escorts from posts on the internet. Blocked him after of course

This has reminded me of a question I had. If we're contacted by someone who's a known timewaster, or worse, should we just get rid of them and keep schtum about the warnings?

I was almost tempted to say something to the Torquay foot nutter, but thought that if I did, it might just prompt another name and number change. So is silence golden in these cases?

I do agree, that why I never specified the source of my knowledge, and plum fully award this guy clearly has faaaar too much time on his hands so I was brisk in simply saying he was well known by me and others so basically his carry on was futile
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 14 November 2014, 02:25:31 am
Quote from: TheLittleMatchGirl on 14 November 2014, 02:23:29 am
Quote from: KayHerts on 13 November 2014, 11:03:20 pm
Quote from: TheLittleMatchGirl on 13 November 2014, 09:36:39 pm
I know there's some lunatics out there but what is with these people, why?? And how?? Do they have the time and interest in this?! Had that 0000-RS guy msging again, took great pleasure in telling him I knew all about him and he was now known for his behaviour by many escorts from posts on the internet. Blocked him after of course

This has reminded me of a question I had. If we're contacted by someone who's a known timewaster, or worse, should we just get rid of them and keep schtum about the warnings?

I was almost tempted to say something to the Torquay foot nutter, but thought that if I did, it might just prompt another name and number change. So is silence golden in these cases?

I do agree, that why I never specified the source of my knowledge, and I'm  fully award this guy clearly has faaaar too much time on his hands so I was brisk in simply saying he was well known by me and others so basically his carry on was futile
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MiaSg on 14 November 2014, 02:50:06 am
Quote from: hotblondie Bristol on 13 November 2014, 06:35:52 pm
Quote from: HollyH on 29 March 2014, 05:21:30 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 26 March 2014, 03:44:23 pm
This is a rather random one! Just got this text:

"Hiya hunni.its mistress brooke hampton here.could you help me out with something please xx "

When I Googled the phone number the top result was the Twitter account of a girl called Brooke Hampton who is a US college student as far as I can tell, so not sure how her Twitter has been linked to a UK mobile number.

I also found a result on a page called "The phone book of Howells Travis" where the number is listed as belonging to someone with a distinctly male name who lives in the UK.

Also a Google search for "mistress brooke hampton" bring up a couple of backpage ads of a Mistress Brooke based in the US in a place called Hampton.

No results on Saafe or any of the usual bad client type places, and I don't intend to reply, just wondering if anyone else has encountered this before or knows how searching a UK phone number can get a US person's Twitter as a Google result? If it wasn't for these weird Google results I would have already ignored and moved on after receiving a message from someone clearly hoping to get off on pretending to be another escort (I've been fooled by that one before!).

I've had the same text 3 times in the time I've been working. For the life of me I can't remember what the reply was when I asked what "she" wanted but I know it was enough for me to forget it. I'm sure the last time I didn't even get a reply. I just thought if she were real she'd email me on my aw account rather than text me so I can check her out. Oh well.

I just got the same text, and I replied out of curiosity:
Me:
Hi Brooke, sure I will help you if I can xx
Brooke:
Im looking for an escort to see one of my slaves babe.you dont have to do anything dominant.just do what you do with your clients xx
Me:
I can see you are in hampton/usa.. Or so you advertise... How come you have an uk number now?
Brooke:
No I don't advertise sweetie.i have too many clients.im looking to get rid of some in fact so if you know of anyone looking for work/slaves xx
Me:
Brooke Hampton is a mistress from Usa, you are using her name to get your fun from it lol. Wrong address sweetie. Blocked

 
I remembered that name so googled her  and got here and to the backpage add from USA.
The phone number is from UK : 077692220xx and when I googled it, I got to a twiter page of a girl called Brooke Hampton :))

I think this guy is bored ..


The exact same guy texted me today I just cut it short and responded "No".
He didn't insist.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 14 November 2014, 02:40:11 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 13 November 2014, 02:46:29 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 13 November 2014, 02:42:24 pm
Bet you guys can't wait!
I've put everything on hold x

Me too, still waiting..  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 14 November 2014, 06:26:55 pm
I know Im paranoid sometimes, but this guy has some nerves :)
Him
hi are you available today and where in Bristol?

Me
Hi, depends what time you want to see me x Im close to temple meads x

him
when do you finish?

me
Why you ask, you work late or want to rob me? :) Just tell me what time you can make it and will see from there x

him
charming! I'll pass

me
Learn how to talk and answer questions first :) I asked you what time, you asked when i finish lol. In case your brain is not working proper, thats not your bussines. I wont give my home address to any idiot who cant think. Good luck, i dont see guys like you anyway.


Cant imagine what kind of brain he has. A chicken one perhaps.







Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luna on 14 November 2014, 09:45:38 pm
Quote from: hotblondie Bristol on 14 November 2014, 06:26:55 pm
I know Im paranoid sometimes, but this guy has some nerves :)
Him
hi are you available today and where in Bristol?

Me
Hi, depends what time you want to see me x Im close to temple meads x

him
when do you finish?

me
Why you ask, you work late or want to rob me? :) Just tell me what time you can make it and will see from there x

him
charming! I'll pass

me
Learn how to talk and answer questions first :) I asked you what time, you asked when i finish lol. In case your brain is not working proper, thats not your bussines. I wont give my home address to any idiot who cant think. Good luck, i dont see guys like you anyway.


Cant imagine what kind of brain he has. A chicken one perhaps.

I have guys all the time ask me when's the latest I can do/when do I finish. Some people work late or just prefer evening bookings. I tell them the latest I can do, they book it, we have a session and all is well. Never been robbed or had any issues. I know sometimes people want the last booking of the day so there's plenty of money around for them to rob, but it's not like this guy asked if you'd been busy or how many clients you'd seen that day etc. From what I can tell he was just asking a polite question. I think that one's your paranoia!

To be honest, I think you were pretty unprofessional calling him an idiot and accusing him of intending to rob you when he was just trying to determine what time would be convenient for you both.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 15 November 2014, 01:30:43 am
I haven't escorted in about a year and a half, and today I started up a profile again to see how it goes. I also haven't worked independantly for about four years, and today reminded me of all the idiots I had to put up with. (It reminded me straight away of this thread. Can't believe it's still going four years later)

My first message:

'hy were 2 bi guys solove to book u'

So I politely ask for more details.

I get this back

'ok thnks for the reply were both bi and very big both over 10 inches lol so love to book u for a really long booking well pay relly well'

At this point I know it's a hopeless cause. But it's my first message in four years, so I give them the benefit of the doubt. I let them know that I mean details about the booking.

I get this back:

'oh sorry xx were looking for a really long booking say how long would u do for 3 grand x and as soon as u can within reasonx'

At this point I stop responding.

Next message:

'Hi
I saw your profile and want to book an appointment.
Thanks'

Okay, reasonably normal. So I ask for details (about the booking this time). I get this back:

'My self jaymes
26y.o.
5.8"
64kg
businessman
Anything else'

So again I ask for booking details. We exchange a few messages, each one sounding more abnormal than the last. Eventually we agree on Monday afternoon and he asks for my number. I was in the middle of replying that I will give my number closer to the date because of problems I used to have with time wasters, but half way through I thought, hell, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. So I give him my number, saying to contact me on Monday. He then starts whatsapping me asking for facepictures (reasonable enough, but I don't give face pictures). He then starts sending me pictures of himself and asking what services I do. It has been four years since I was answering my own messages. But an hour into getting messages and I remember all the tricks in the book. So  I politely tell him that the services I provide are on my profile. At this point I know it's another lost cause. He then starts to tell me that 'he wants to make a booking, but he has had problems with escorts before refusing to see him because how big he is and wanted to know if I could fit him. Instantly blocked, and the benefit of the doubt is no longer being given out. An hour and a half in and I was already as cynical as I used to be, lol.


xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 15 November 2014, 04:22:55 pm
This week I've had a couple of guys asking me specifically which building I am in. (My profile gives a pretty clear idea of where I am, i.e. "Close to this, that, and the other well-known local thing.") I'm used to being asked "whereabouts are you?" But these guys were specifically wanting to know EXACTLY WHICH BUILDING. And very persistent about it, too. One said, "Oh, are you near the ____ building?" and I said, "Yes, I am very close to that building." "So which building are you in?" "Once you've made a proper booking with me, I will give you my full address." "Yeah, but I need to know which building you are in."

Er... no. No you don't.

And that's been two guys this week.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 15 November 2014, 08:16:14 pm
Quote from: Luna on 14 November 2014, 09:45:38 pm
Quote from: hotblondie Bristol on 14 November 2014, 06:26:55 pm
I know Im paranoid sometimes, but this guy has some nerves :)

I have guys all the time ask me when's the latest I can do/when do I finish. Some people work late or just prefer evening bookings. I tell them the latest I can do, they book it, we have a session and all is well. Never been robbed or had any issues. I know sometimes people want the last booking of the day so there's plenty of money around for them to rob, but it's not like this guy asked if you'd been busy or how many clients you'd seen that day etc. From what I can tell he was just asking a polite question. I think that one's your paranoia!

To be honest, I think you were pretty unprofessional calling him an idiot and accusing him of intending to rob you when he was just trying to determine what time would be convenient for you both.

He didnt asked me if he can come at 10 pm for example as he finishes work late. Or told me he is finishing work at 10 pm, can he come then.
He asked when I finish work.
That is no one bussines but mine.
Thanks for pointing to me being unprofessional, when I will need your advice I will ask for it, until then I will conduct my own bussiness and take bookings from polite guys who can ask normal questions :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 15 November 2014, 08:29:33 pm
Quote from: Siorse on 14 November 2014, 02:40:11 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 13 November 2014, 02:46:29 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 13 November 2014, 02:42:24 pm
Bet you guys can't wait!
I've put everything on hold x

Me too, still waiting..  ;)
Have waited in my stockings and heels for days just in case x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luna on 15 November 2014, 10:41:17 pm
Quote from: hotblondie Bristol on 15 November 2014, 08:16:14 pm
Quote from: Luna on 14 November 2014, 09:45:38 pm
Quote from: hotblondie Bristol on 14 November 2014, 06:26:55 pm
I know Im paranoid sometimes, but this guy has some nerves :)

I have guys all the time ask me when's the latest I can do/when do I finish. Some people work late or just prefer evening bookings. I tell them the latest I can do, they book it, we have a session and all is well. Never been robbed or had any issues. I know sometimes people want the last booking of the day so there's plenty of money around for them to rob, but it's not like this guy asked if you'd been busy or how many clients you'd seen that day etc. From what I can tell he was just asking a polite question. I think that one's your paranoia!

To be honest, I think you were pretty unprofessional calling him an idiot and accusing him of intending to rob you when he was just trying to determine what time would be convenient for you both.

He didnt asked me if he can come at 10 pm for example as he finishes work late. Or told me he is finishing work at 10 pm, can he come then.
He asked when I finish work.
That is no one bussines but mine.
Thanks for pointing to me being unprofessional, when I will need your advice I will ask for it, until then I will conduct my own bussiness and take bookings from polite guys who can ask normal questions :)

But he was a polite guy, he wasn't rude or disrespectful and it was 99% likely to have been a purely innocent question! You didn't need to tell him when you finished work, you could have just responded with "Do you need a late appointment? What time would be best for you?" rather than accusing him of robbery and calling him an idiot, which was pretty rude. Judging by your response to me I suppose your rudeness extends to fellow WGs as well as customers though. I realise you didn't *ask* for my advice, but I just thought i'd let you know as i've seen WGs ripped to pieces on punting forums due to unprofessional replies like that and i'm sure you don't want to lose business for it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 15 November 2014, 11:51:43 pm
Thanks for your advice, I didnt know Im rude :)
Mind your own bussines, and bepolite with everyone just because he might review you on punting forums lol.

As I said, how I handle things and how I do my bussines is not any of your concern girlie.

Find someone else to pick, Im the wrong girl for you.

Bye now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 16 November 2014, 01:57:00 am
Wow talk about attitude.  Firstly and most importantly, should we not all be about helping each other and supporting each other?  Secondly this thread is meant to be a bit of fun.  A littlevent even. *sigh*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 16 November 2014, 02:19:41 am
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 16 November 2014, 01:57:00 am
Wow talk about attitude.  Firstly and most importantly, should we not all be about helping each other and supporting each other?  Secondly this thread is meant to be a bit of fun.  A littlevent even. *sigh*

Indeed.

Firstly to the posters concerned, get off your high horses and pack it in (and for what it's worth Luna, I don't see people who specifically ask me 'what the latest I can do' is either, although I wouldn't make it easier for a potential robber by explaining my screening process to them); everybody's way of working is different.

For everybody else, the Report button is down there on the right so we haven't got this sort of stupid playground squabbling lasting more than a post or two. I don't know about the moderators but I don't often look at this thread so resist the temptation to join in and use it, please.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 16 November 2014, 05:07:39 am
Handbags up!

Anyways, received a booking request via text tonight, made me giggle:

Wankbadger: Hi, will u come to my hotel for an hour outcall?

Me: of course, which hotel are you in and what time would you like to see me?

Wankbadger: Soon as possible babe, I'm at (postcode)

Me: I've had a look on my sat nav, that postcode is for a petrol station? Did you mean x hotel up the road?

Wankbadger: yes babe

Me: OK no problem, I just need your room number and the name the room is booked in and I can be with you within the next 30 minutes.

Wankbadger: Can you not come to my petrol station babe at (same postcode as original request) its my business.

Me: I'm confused; so when you asked me for an outcall to your hotel room you actually meant you want me to see you in your petrol station?

Wankbadger: Yes babe. My employee is here but I will see you in my personal office.

Me: Sorry, I don't think I'm the right escort for you. Night!

Wankbadger: Come on babe its business for you, after I've finished with you my employee might wanna see you so its worth it for you.

Wankbadger: please babe. You look fit I wanna see you.

BLOCKED

I shouldve blocked him at the first mention of "petrol station" but I was bored. Love how he thought I'd be swayed by his "personal office" and the possibility of more ?? if his mate wanted a go when he was "finished with me" (what a charmer to boot!)
Will the mystery that is the mind of certain punters ever cease to amaze me? I think not.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: frenchknickersnobra on 16 November 2014, 10:46:30 am
Quote from: MiaSg on 14 November 2014, 02:50:06 am
Quote from: hotblondie Bristol on 13 November 2014, 06:35:52 pm
Quote from: HollyH on 29 March 2014, 05:21:30 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 26 March 2014, 03:44:23 pm
This is a rather random one! Just got this text:

"Hiya hunni.its mistress brooke hampton here.could you help me out with something please xx "

When I Googled the phone number the top result was the Twitter account of a girl called Brooke Hampton who is a US college student as far as I can tell, so not sure how her Twitter has been linked to a UK mobile number.

I also found a result on a page called "The phone book of Howells Travis" where the number is listed as belonging to someone with a distinctly male name who lives in the UK.

Also a Google search for "mistress brooke hampton" bring up a couple of backpage ads of a Mistress Brooke based in the US in a place called Hampton.

No results on Saafe or any of the usual bad client type places, and I don't intend to reply, just wondering if anyone else has encountered this before or knows how searching a UK phone number can get a US person's Twitter as a Google result? If it wasn't for these weird Google results I would have already ignored and moved on after receiving a message from someone clearly hoping to get off on pretending to be another escort (I've been fooled by that one before!).

I've had the same text 3 times in the time I've been working. For the life of me I can't remember what the reply was when I asked what "she" wanted but I know it was enough for me to forget it. I'm sure the last time I didn't even get a reply. I just thought if she were real she'd email me on my aw account rather than text me so I can check her out. Oh well.

I just got the same text, and I replied out of curiosity:
Me:
Hi Brooke, sure I will help you if I can xx
Brooke:
Im looking for an escort to see one of my slaves babe.you dont have to do anything dominant.just do what you do with your clients xx
Me:
I can see you are in hampton/usa.. Or so you advertise... How come you have an uk number now?
Brooke:
No I don't advertise sweetie.i have too many clients.im looking to get rid of some in fact so if you know of anyone looking for work/slaves xx
Me:
Brooke Hampton is a mistress from Usa, you are using her name to get your fun from it lol. Wrong address sweetie. Blocked

 
I remembered that name so googled her  and got here and to the backpage add from USA.
The phone number is from UK : 077692220xx and when I googled it, I got to a twiter page of a girl called Brooke Hampton :))

I think this guy is bored ..


The exact same guy texted me today I just cut it short and responded "No".
He didn't insist.

No more than 10 minutes into reading this thread backwards, did I receive a text from Brooke Hampton lol, same number
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 16 November 2014, 11:33:18 am
Maybe that Brooke wanker is reading saafe? Possible..

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 16 November 2014, 09:28:08 pm
Ok, I know what he meant but the way he's written it has had me in stitches:

Hi. (name) 35 looking for fun roleplay as i have a small cock tonight.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 16 November 2014, 09:51:33 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 16 November 2014, 09:28:08 pm

Hi. (name) 35 looking for fun roleplay as i have a small cock tonight.
Do you think he has a larger cock on other nights?! :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 17 November 2014, 07:03:08 pm
"Hello ____, you are an extremely beautiful lady!
I am so happy to see that you offer your body for service to men like me.

I would like to book an outcall.
However, I would like a little something different added in towards the end...

Would you be willing to let me record you urinate and defecate on a Qu-ran?

Please get back to me ASAP :)"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 17 November 2014, 07:14:58 pm
Hey I'm 5-- 11 160 sexy black ten inch 29 visting Bristol from New York City I don't have cash to pay but if u interested and have free time today I would love to cum by I cum loads and never been with a older woman give me a chance I'm down to earth frist time in Bristol  I Can send you face pic.

Just blocked him, felt kinda sorry for him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 17 November 2014, 07:22:02 pm
Quote from: victoryrose on 17 November 2014, 07:03:08 pm
"Hello ____, you are an extremely beautiful lady!
I am so happy to see that you offer your body for service to men like me.

I would like to book an outcall.
However, I would like a little something different added in towards the end...

Would you be willing to let me record you urinate and defecate on a Qu-ran?

Please get back to me ASAP :)"

That's....special!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 17 November 2014, 07:51:28 pm
Text: "hi im looking for a quickie r u available? Dies that include everything?"
Me (replying coz I was bored); " Well yeah, as long as it's within 15 mins"
Him; " So you take it in all holes then, w'ell your addres?"

Didn't bother replying anymore after that lol  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 17 November 2014, 07:59:19 pm
Quote from: victoryrose on 17 November 2014, 07:03:08 pm
"Hello ____, you are an extremely beautiful lady!
I am so happy to see that you offer your body for service to men like me.

I would like to book an outcall.
However, I would like a little something different added in towards the end...

Would you be willing to let me record you urinate and defecate on a Qu-ran?

Please get back to me ASAP :)"

Yes please - I'd love to go straight to the top of the IS hit list!  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 17 November 2014, 08:07:00 pm
When men ask about cctv is a cancel straight away. As you never know their reason behind. More like they ask that to see if it is easy to rob escorts. Like it happens still or even worse. Having protection only is a threat to the ones who are criminals.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 17 November 2014, 08:20:45 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 17 November 2014, 07:59:19 pm
Quote from: victoryrose on 17 November 2014, 07:03:08 pm
"Hello ____, you are an extremely beautiful lady!
I am so happy to see that you offer your body for service to men like me.

I would like to book an outcall.
However, I would like a little something different added in towards the end...

Would you be willing to let me record you urinate and defecate on a Qu-ran?

Please get back to me ASAP :)"

Yes please - I'd love to go straight to the top of the IS hit list!  ???
During Ramadan I got 2 requests for watersports into their mouth to break their fast x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 17 November 2014, 09:17:09 pm
 caller Hi can come and see you this afternoon ? do you have extra large condoms?
because  my cock is 9 in long and the width is 6 in  ::)
I said no luv your too big for me best you don't visit.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 18 November 2014, 09:29:33 am
"Helloo, what times are you available please. Can wait to hit that pussy xxx"

Just no.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 18 November 2014, 04:37:44 pm
" I want that sweet tight pussy to lick&fuck. Wednesday lunchtime 12.30?x "
Made me laugh tbh  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 18 November 2014, 05:01:15 pm
Quote from: Siorse on 18 November 2014, 04:37:44 pm
" I want that sweet tight pussy to lick&fuck. Wednesday lunchtime 12.30?x "
Made me laugh tbh  :D
Some are funny but I think they know it, I got a text ages ago saying "fancy some cock babe?"

That made me laugh x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Krystal on 18 November 2014, 09:40:28 pm
One day last week I broke one of my own rules and answered a private caller, whereupon I was treated to the delights of a man who I now refer to as 'Dom Dave'. This guy was a chancer/TW but as always curiosity got the better of me because to be truthful I find them so damn entertaining. Anyway he started off by saying he wanted to start meeting for the whole dom sub thing, which I don't do unless I am the dom but didn't dare tell him because I didn't want to spoil my fun. He then went on to tell me that the meets would be a chance to get to know each other prior to him taking me on holiday to spain for a week.

Now, during this holiday I would be at his every beck and call and would have to satisfy his every whim. He asked me if I smoke, to which I replied yes and he stated that he would allow me to smoke on the balcony but would have to give him a blow job after every cigarette I smoked during the week.

Oh, and after dipping into his savings to pay for the holiday and spends, he would only actually be able to pay me ?100 a day for this once in a lifetime experience. I was seriously struggling to maintain professional escort protocol by this point.  :-X

Could you imagine spending a whole week, stuck in a foreign country with a 'not right' like this guy. As the old saying goes 'Fuck that'!!!!  ;D

Has anyone else experienced this or even worse unwittingly found themselves in a similair position. XXX
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 18 November 2014, 10:44:03 pm
Two texts this evening:

"How much do you charge?"
"Eleventy"

"Hi. Do you do 20min service?"
"Yes! It's ?60 and I'll throw in an extra ten minutes for free!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 18 November 2014, 10:49:43 pm
Him: hi. What time do you finish please?

Me: 7/8 o'clock.

Him: in the morning? Cool, can I book for midnight?

Seriously!?


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 19 November 2014, 11:28:14 am
Some guy letting me know he can drive for me between the hours of 4-9pm then 11-late, it's a van and If I work for an agency I'm to give them his number as he's trying to earn money to cover medical costs for a guy whose in a coma

Has the nhs disappeared overnight??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 19 November 2014, 11:31:58 am
Quote from: Fabulassie on 18 November 2014, 10:44:03 pm
Two texts this evening:

"How much do you charge?"
"Eleventy"

"Hi. Do you do 20min service?"
"Yes! It's ?60 and I'll throw in an extra ten minutes for free!"

When they ask for anything under half an hour I just give them my half hour rate now
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 19 November 2014, 11:33:40 am
Quote from: Charlotte-Paris on 18 November 2014, 10:49:43 pm
Him: hi. What time do you finish please?

Me: 7/8 o'clock.

Him: in the morning? Cool, can I book for midnight?

Seriously!?

We're not real people, we just lie on a bed 24/7 legs open
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 19 November 2014, 07:07:46 pm
text just in...


hi watz u up2 u wana kep me warm xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Reni on 20 November 2014, 01:01:53 pm
A few texts from one guy.
1. Nice legs.
2. It's urs
3. Or fake.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 20 November 2014, 02:34:12 pm
I went to a "Translate into Pirate" site for a good response to that:

"Ye be correct. I was attacked by a vicious shark - a monster 'o th' deep - 'n now I have a peg leg."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Reni on 20 November 2014, 02:51:51 pm
Haha! Wanted to respond to him with something like that but will just encourage him to continuously text. He's still texting 'hi' then later 'hi'!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 20 November 2014, 02:53:49 pm
You girls make me laugh, I ll get wrinkles  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 November 2014, 02:59:21 pm
Sent via text at 7am.
Knob:You on?
15 mins later:Oi
15 mins after that:Oi!
Lol like I'm seriously going to text back to that!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 20 November 2014, 03:41:19 pm
Email received today:

hi you free this evening for an hour, around 6? I 22 and would love to finally get the old woman experience x


I'm 42. *sighs and hobbles off to her coffin*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 22 November 2014, 01:06:44 am
i get the most romantic texts



oi u ?40 1hr ea**** rd area now!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 22 November 2014, 08:01:26 am
When you switch your phone on in the morning and numerous texts with "are you free" I usually respond with "my rates are on my profile"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss-M on 22 November 2014, 09:07:44 am
Text last night...(22:38) ( forgot to turn my phone off  :FF)

Usually don't respond but thought I'd have a laugh x

Him: are you free tonight? Would love to suck your nipples and lick your arse, whilst rubbing my cock on your c**t, text back If you want me xxxx
Me: erm...... think you have the wrong number fella, this is a 6ft bloke, 60 yrs old from Sheffield.
Him: no it's not I have your number from Aw, and from your website?
Me: then learn to f*****g read then as you know I don't do any of that which does state on my profile!
Him: I'm wanting to book you and it clearly states you work till late, and do what I've asked for!
Me: where on earth does it say I work till late on either my website or AW profile????? Plus offer what your after????

Pause for 10 mins....

Him: my bad, wrong person.....x
Me: had a few drinks then have we?
Me:  well if you ring me tomorrow and book a session through the day I'm sure I can accommodate you!
Him: never visited a dominatrix before, does it Hurt?
Me: on you yes it will.....

Not heard from him since....wonder why??

To many numbers on his phone me thinks!  ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 22 November 2014, 10:41:48 am
Quote from: bibi on 20 November 2014, 02:59:21 pm
Sent via text at 7am.
Knob:You on?
15 mins later:Oi
15 mins after that:Oi!
Lol like I'm seriously going to text back to that!
You know exactly what your missing out on, f*ck all !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: berri on 22 November 2014, 02:00:32 pm
Txt I received

Hi I'm in --- wanna spend the night with ya but ain't paying a grand ....I'm not a corporate nob job.....let me know if your available some time we'll work something out ay
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 22 November 2014, 06:24:35 pm
Had a message from a guy saying he loves mature women. His message says he's 33...I just turned 33. I'm guessing he's probably older than me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 22 November 2014, 07:13:41 pm
I know we all regularly have to deal with timewasters, but today I need a rant!

I often don't work on a Saturday unless I have an advanced booking, and today was planning to do some paperwork and sort some stuff out in the house. But late morning got a call, all sounded OK, and he booked 2-4pm. Later he explained that he needed to do a few things and so might be late. I asked for an ETA and he eventually said 4.30. At about 2.45 he said 4, but then changed it back to 4.30. Then he says he's still stuck somewhere, that he's trying to be quick, when I can see him up to etc. I said 7, or 7.30 at a push. He won't commit, so I say if he can't make it by 6 we should cancel. I finally give him a 6.25 ultimatum, and of course, no further contact after about 5.30.

So in terms of getting ready, hair, make-up, his very specific clothing requests etc. I've effectively wasted 12-6.30pm on him.

F'ing fuming!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 22 November 2014, 07:36:40 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 22 November 2014, 07:13:41 pm
I know we all regularly have to deal with timewasters, but today I need a rant!

I often don't work on a Saturday unless I have an advanced booking, and today was planning to do some paperwork and sort some stuff out in the house. But late morning got a call, all sounded OK, and he booked 2-4pm. Later he explained that he needed to do a few things and so might be late. I asked for an ETA and he eventually said 4.30. At about 2.45 he said 4, but then changed it back to 4.30. Then he says he's still stuck somewhere, that he's trying to be quick, when I can see him up to etc. I said 7, or 7.30 at a push. He won't commit, so I say if he can't make it by 6 we should cancel. I finally give him a 6.25 ultimatum, and of course, no further contact after about 5.30.

So in terms of getting ready, hair, make-up, his very specific clothing requests etc. I've effectively wasted 12-6.30pm on him.

F'ing fuming!
Kay these men used to get me when I worked Saturdays too, damn pain in your ass and a waste of time ..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 22 November 2014, 08:08:56 pm
Ahh I hate that type of TW!!  >:(  Because they seem genuine, and keep in contact, and spend SO MUCH TIME trying
to organise a booking, you don't expect them to end up letting you down, why else spend so much time trying to arrange
a booking?!
Either coz they genuinely want to make one but they're so dis-organised they couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery,
or they just get off on wasting our time...
I've had ones trying to arrange bookings for WEEKS, them trying to make out it's my fault that I'm never "available"
(within 2 minutes/whenever it suits them), then eventually make a booking, only for them not to show..  :FF
They must realise it totally fucks up our day, or do they really think we've got nothing better to do than sit and wait
for clients to turn up whenever it suits them, change at the last minute, wait some more, cancel everybody else etc....  ::)
I suppose a lot of people think the world evolves only around them....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 23 November 2014, 08:00:14 am
Had this text at 06.23 today

I'm 21 an fancy having sex with an older woman, so whens this freebie happening?

I had to laugh at his audacity.   
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 23 November 2014, 08:54:43 pm
Text; "How much?"  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 23 November 2014, 11:25:13 pm
Almost every Saturday night/early Sunday morning I get texts asking if I'll meet two guys together right now - I'm only assuming they think they'd only get charged the usual hourly rate despite there being two of them so can get a cheap booking, which seems especially likely from these 6am texts from the same number who seem to think I'm an agency:

Cheapest girl ?
2 guys
Can we book now?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roxy666 on 24 November 2014, 09:18:27 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 10 November 2014, 11:53:04 am
I just had an odd call from a bloke who claimed to have rang several weeks ago about him and his wife visiting me. I have no recollection of such a conversation and my phone has an app that tells me if a number has rang before. Apparently this was the first time this number had called despite the chap telling me he had rang from that number.

He then went on to say that I'd sent him and his a wife a photo of a butternut squash. I'd love to know what else they were planning with whoever it was they spoke with a few weeks ago!

Please could you share with us the name of the app? Thanks red KB  :) xox
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosa on 25 November 2014, 12:39:38 am
I've had a spate of new enquiries asking me for availability say for the coming week, or next couple of days. I give the times I have free, then they say "Oh it's for the week after" or "It was for today" (when I've offered an appointment for one of the other days mentioned)well why express interest for those times then?

Can only think that it's something to open the conversation with. ??? :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 25 November 2014, 09:55:31 am


Please could you share with us the name of the app? Thanks red KB  :) xox
[/quote]
It's Mr Number.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roxy666 on 25 November 2014, 12:01:25 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 25 November 2014, 09:55:31 am


Please could you share with us the name of the app? Thanks red KB  :) xox
It's Mr Number.
[/quote]

Thanks hun!xox
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 27 November 2014, 01:13:16 am
Quote from: Erotic flower on 22 November 2014, 07:36:40 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 22 November 2014, 07:13:41 pm
I know we all regularly have to deal with timewasters, but today I need a rant!

I often don't work on a Saturday unless I have an advanced booking, and today was planning to do some paperwork and sort some stuff out in the house. But late morning got a call, all sounded OK, and he booked 2-4pm. Later he explained that he needed to do a few things and so might be late. I asked for an ETA and he eventually said 4.30. At about 2.45 he said 4, but then changed it back to 4.30. Then he says he's still stuck somewhere, that he's trying to be quick, when I can see him up to etc. I said 7, or 7.30 at a push. He won't commit, so I say if he can't make it by 6 we should cancel. I finally give him a 6.25 ultimatum, and of course, no further contact after about 5.30.

So in terms of getting ready, hair, make-up, his very specific clothing requests etc. I've effectively wasted 12-6.30pm on him.

F'ing fuming!
Kay these men used to get me when I worked Saturdays too, damn pain in your ass and a waste of time ..
Classic TW technique. They sound so genuine, and then the much about. After first time change, I usually tell them I am fully booked, so they need to reschedule.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 27 November 2014, 11:34:59 am
There seems to be a spate of these particularly annoying type of timewaster.I had a bloke last week that sounded very like Kay's bloke.Booked for 1pm then changed to 3pm then wanted 4 pm then 5pm on and on he finally said he couldn't get through traffic at 6:15 when I told him to forget it.
Today I am especially miffed.I had a guy text last night wanting an early booking.Told to ring me and we got cut off as he ran out of phone credit but he sounded ok.Arranged for 9:30am and I sent him address details he then asked me to send address told him I had and to text back to confirm he had recieved them and understood them (this was after 9pm when I finish for the day and I was wanting to get it sorted quickly so I could get on with my evening).He then asked how much it was and what did i do?Grrr trying to be patient sent him a link to my website and told him to text if he still wanted his appointment by 10:15 as I was going to switch my phone off.Said he was happy and would confirm at 8:30am.7:50 am this morning he did confirm..ok!!Got ready and texted him at 9:27 am to tell him I was ready.No reply.I tried calling twice and it rang and rang,he had told me he was coming by taxi so no reason not to answer his phone or indeed to ring me he was running late.25 mins after he should have been here he texts not calls as asked to say he is here.I asked why he was so late and his attitude was fine i'll see someone else..told him to do just that.I don't believe he was here and I do think his attitude was shitty even if he was here and I don't want arseholes like that having my full address or being with me.What is wrong with some people?As has been said they think the world stops and starts and revolves round them and normal courtesy does not apply.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sienna92 on 27 November 2014, 05:04:42 pm
I've just had a guy email me asking if i could do 1 hour for ?80.. My rate is ?140!? It winds me up I've never met him before what makes him think i am going to say "yes sure i'll do it nearly half price just for you" ::). If he only wants to spend ?80 either ask for a shorter booking or go elsewhere to someone cheaper!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 27 November 2014, 06:52:52 pm
Quote from: sienna92 on 27 November 2014, 05:04:42 pm
I've just had a guy email me asking if i could do 1 hour for ?80.. My rate is ?140!? It winds me up I've never met him before what makes him think i am going to say "yes sure i'll do it nearly half price just for you" ::). If he only wants to spend ?80 either ask for a shorter booking or go elsewhere to someone cheaper!

Those kind of people tend to assume that the girl they are contacting is down on her luck and barely scraping by, in my experience. Tend to blow their minds that "someone in our position" would turn any business down.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 29 November 2014, 02:43:51 am
Hagglers get on my nerves too -  "can you do 1 hour for ?100" I always just point out that my 30 min rate is under ?100, some go for it, others keep trying to get the hour for a discount (and subsequently get blocked)

And then there was the guy who said "my birthday is on the 2nd of Jan do you do any birthday treats babe" - I've never met him before, why would I offer a discount for his birthday!?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 30 November 2014, 10:16:16 am
 texter Hi saw your add want to get free lingerie and toys in exchange for sex with me !!( guess whats its another man called jay)
blocked ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 30 November 2014, 08:29:03 pm
"Hi would you do a outcall I'm a millionaire so money no adject [sic]"

I asked him his location and he misspelled the name of a local hotel, after I text him back once more I got this one final response:

"It's ok I've booked someone else now"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 01 December 2014, 12:02:35 pm
"Hi seen you on adult work couldn't see your rates on there" 

You mean the rates about 1 inch above the phone number you just text me on?  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 01 December 2014, 01:34:31 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 01 December 2014, 12:02:35 pm
"Hi seen you on adult work couldn't see your rates on there" 

You mean the rates about 1 inch above the phone number you just text me on?  :FF
Urgh, I get that all the time, even though my rates are listed above the phone number on all my ads. They must just scan until they see a number. Very annoying because when I tell them my rates they mostly say they'll call back and never do. I think a genuine caller will always have read profiles and ads properly and if they have to ask questions like that they're not going to book.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 01 December 2014, 02:17:05 pm
Text message all from one guy.

21/9/14..Independent escort yes or no

12/10/14 Hi are you an escort if so I have an offer for you.

15/10/14 Are you an escortt [sic]

18/11/14 Hello how would you like to make ?3000 you interested

22/11/14 How would you like to make ?3000 u intersted

22/11/14Hi are you an independent escort

01/12/14 Hi my name is max first i have to interview you so i no [sic] you real not fake and its [sic] has to be face to face and i dont mean to be rude but am looking for an escort for my client and the escort will get payed [sic] ?2000 yes or no.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 01 December 2014, 02:30:33 pm
This texter must be doing the rounds.I had similar 'Do u want to earn 2000 yes or no?' just the other day.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 01 December 2014, 03:32:20 pm
Got a call:
Him "Hi is this (escort)?"
Me "Yes it is"
Him "Can you text me your postcode, could do with some relaxation after work"
Me "Sorry not sure I'll be available later on"
"How much do you charge for half an hour"
Me "That's on my profile"
"Do you do French kissing?"
Me "You need to read my profile"
"Okay where's that? My manager gave me your number"
Me "I'm (escort name) on adult work"
"Okay can you text your postcode and I'll read your profile"
Me -hangs up and saves in phone as Stupid Idiot-

Who passes round prostitutes phone numbers at work??  ::)

Also anyone else get this? Texts that go like:
Him "Are you available at 4pm?
Me "Yes I will be"
Then at 4pm he texts "where are you? I'm ready" and it's like.. You haven't made a booking?
Are these people who have never booked anything ever in their whole lives..
What annoyed me is that this has happened twice this past week, both by men who have been before and have then done this and parked outside my flats expecting a booking.
So indiscreet and means I have to wait for them to leave before I feel comfortable leaving my flat!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 01 December 2014, 04:21:11 pm
Quote from: chloe_ on 01 December 2014, 03:32:20 pm
Also anyone else get this? Texts that go like:
Him "Are you available at 4pm?
Me "Yes I will be"
Then at 4pm he texts "where are you? I'm ready" and it's like.. You haven't made a booking?
Are these people who have never booked anything ever in their whole lives..

I frequently get those. They ask if I'm available now and I tell them I need 30 minutes notice so they say, ok they'll call back in half an hour! I then have to explain if they want to see me in 30 minutes they need to tell me now and confirm a booking. It really seems to confuse some of them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roxy666 on 01 December 2014, 09:21:46 pm
Had a 'lovely' gent phone me up today on withheld ::)

Asked if I would fulfil his fantasy.......involving his dog! :-X

Wtf! Yes, because I get a kick from sexually abusing defencless animals you sick Fuck!

I politely declined, so he then said, even for ?900!? ..............  :FF

I know we all have our kinks and that, but come on! There's a law against that for a reason!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sourgrapes on 01 December 2014, 10:00:32 pm
Oh yeah, had the dog person, but wanted me to supply the canine, and was prepared to pay "any money".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: International Whore on 01 December 2014, 10:03:15 pm
Quote from: roxy666 on 01 December 2014, 09:21:46 pm
Had a 'lovely' gent phone me up today on withheld ::)

Asked if I would fulfil his fantasy.......involving his dog! :-X

Wtf! Yes, because I get a kick from sexually abusing defencless animals you sick Fuck!

I politely declined, so he then said, even for ?900!? ..............  :FF

I know we all have our kinks and that, but come on! There's a law against that for a reason!

He could not stretch it to 1000 ... Lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 01 December 2014, 10:21:19 pm
Sorry if the spelling is strange but imagine Ali G,

Him, Alright sweetie
Me, Yes,
Him, You look hot babes, I totally get that you are Domme and shit but would love to pay you to ride me
Me, I don't offer that service
Him, How about me dominate you babes
Me, No I dominate my clients
Him, oh issssitttt
Me, yes
Him, Oh I get you babes, shame though

Phone down!
He rang back to tell me I'm rude, saved him under Ali G
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 02 December 2014, 09:48:30 am
"Hi I'm 34 athletic, I live in Athens Greece
Let me know if you'd like to live with me or even a holiday"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sourgrapes on 02 December 2014, 10:05:37 am
Quote from: TheLittleMatchGirl on 02 December 2014, 09:48:30 am
"Hi I'm 34 athletic, I live in Athens Greece
Let me know if you'd like to live with me or even a holiday"

I trust you're packing fresh knickers and toothbrush as we read this....   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roxy666 on 02 December 2014, 11:01:35 am
Quote from: Claire Jayne on 01 December 2014, 10:03:15 pm
Quote from: roxy666 on 01 December 2014, 09:21:46 pm
Had a 'lovely' gent phone me up today on withheld ::)

Asked if I would fulfil his fantasy.......involving his dog! :-X

Wtf! Yes, because I get a kick from sexually abusing defencless animals you sick Fuck!

I politely declined, so he then said, even for ?900!? ..............  :FF

I know we all have our kinks and that, but come on! There's a law against that for a reason!

He could not stretch it to 1000 ... Lol

Would of made all the difference, if only he knew!  ;) haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 02 December 2014, 02:28:49 pm
Quote from: sourgrapes on 02 December 2014, 10:05:37 am
Quote from: TheLittleMatchGirl on 02 December 2014, 09:48:30 am
"Hi I'm 34 athletic, I live in Athens Greece
Let me know if you'd like to live with me or even a holiday"

I trust you're packing fresh knickers and toothbrush as we read this....   ;D

Haha yep, just need to get the euros!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 02 December 2014, 02:32:30 pm
Quote from: roxy666 on 02 December 2014, 11:01:35 am
Quote from: Claire Jayne on 01 December 2014, 10:03:15 pm
Quote from: roxy666 on 01 December 2014, 09:21:46 pm
Had a 'lovely' gent phone me up today on withheld ::)

Asked if I would fulfil his fantasy.......involving his dog! :-X

Wtf! Yes, because I get a kick from sexually abusing defencless animals you sick Fuck!

I politely declined, so he then said, even for ?900!? ..............  :FF

I know we all have our kinks and that, but come on! There's a law against that for a reason!

He could not stretch it to 1000 ... Lol

Would of made all the difference, if only he knew!  ;) haha

That's awful, I had a request all he was was to film me from the knees down (wearing shoes he'd bring...) while I crush and stamp on worms and bugs! I'm not an insect fan but felt sorry for them being used by this weirdo. Unfortunately my curiosity led me to discovering a whole "fetish" that exists where youngs girls are made to torture animals while being filmed. What's wrong with people
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 02 December 2014, 02:39:17 pm
Quote from: TheLittleMatchGirl on 02 December 2014, 02:32:30 pm
Quote from: roxy666 on 02 December 2014, 11:01:35 am
Quote from: Claire Jayne on 01 December 2014, 10:03:15 pm
Quote from: roxy666 on 01 December 2014, 09:21:46 pm
Had a 'lovely' gent phone me up today on withheld ::)

Asked if I would fulfil his fantasy.......involving his dog! :-X

Wtf! Yes, because I get a kick from sexually abusing defencless animals you sick Fuck!

I politely declined, so he then said, even for ?900!? ..............  :FF

I know we all have our kinks and that, but come on! There's a law against that for a reason!

He could not stretch it to 1000 ... Lol

Would of made all the difference, if only he knew!  ;) haha

That's awful, I had a request all he was was to film me from the knees down (wearing shoes he'd bring...) while I crush and stamp on worms and bugs! I'm not an insect fan but felt sorry for them being used by this weirdo. Unfortunately my curiosity led me to discovering a whole "fetish" that exists where youngs girls are made to torture animals while being filmed. What's wrong with people
I'm extremely open minded and have done the crushing bug fetish but I had a regular who likes to drink the contents of used condoms ask me if I could get a dog for his next session,

I draw the line at that! Think he knew by my reaction that I wasn't impressed, x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 04 December 2014, 09:29:03 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 02 December 2014, 02:39:17 pm
Quote from: TheLittleMatchGirl on 02 December 2014, 02:32:30 pm
Quote from: roxy666 on 02 December 2014, 11:01:35 am
Quote from: Claire Jayne on 01 December 2014, 10:03:15 pm
Quote from: roxy666 on 01 December 2014, 09:21:46 pm
Had a 'lovely' gent phone me up today on withheld ::)

Asked if I would fulfil his fantasy.......involving his dog! :-X

Wtf! Yes, because I get a kick from sexually abusing defencless animals you sick Fuck!

I politely declined, so he then said, even for ?900!? ..............  :FF

I know we all have our kinks and that, but come on! There's a law against that for a reason!

He could not stretch it to 1000 ... Lol

Would of made all the difference, if only he knew!  ;) haha

That's awful, I had a request all he was was to film me from the knees down (wearing shoes he'd bring...) while I crush and stamp on worms and bugs! I'm not an insect fan but felt sorry for them being used by this weirdo. Unfortunately my curiosity led me to discovering a whole "fetish" that exists where youngs girls are made to torture animals while being filmed. What's wrong with people
I'm extremely open minded and have done the crushing bug fetish but I had a regular who likes to drink the contents of used condoms ask me if I could get a dog for his next session,

I draw the line at that! Think he knew by my reaction that I wasn't impressed, x

That's awful, I can't bear any type of animal cruelty, and where the hell would you get a dog from. I'm not sure I could handle all the sicko stuff in this job, it would really affect me I reckon. Just being exposed to it is more than I want to know.

Another message this morning "not to be disrespectful to your prices but could I have a discount as I'm on a budget for Xmas and I'd be coming from 20 miles away " hmm.. Wg have family and Xmas presents to buy too, and why drive 20miles anyway :s
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 04 December 2014, 10:26:06 am
Honestly would they drive to a Marks and Spencers 20 miles away and then expect to get a discount on the shirt they bought there?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 04 December 2014, 10:42:47 am
Text at 4.16: "Hey there beautiful lady can I put my cock in you for 20?" Oh yeah, let me just jump out of bed and get ready!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 04 December 2014, 12:10:45 pm
Quote from: bibi on 04 December 2014, 10:26:06 am
Honestly would they drive to a Marks and Spencers 20 miles away and then expect to get a discount on the shirt they bought there?

Exactly! Haha  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DustedWithSugar on 04 December 2014, 12:18:44 pm
I had persistent caller tonight at 4 am, bombarding me with calls and messages "hi r u free babe", aaaaah, let me sleep!!!
Now I know to turn my phone off at night  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 04 December 2014, 11:06:33 pm
Bit of an entitled one tonight:

"Hello r u working.scouse lad in (town)."

I replied to say it was too late for tonight

"If u cud find it in your heart to c me cos av had no look atall am in travelodge on my own with 150 an nobody wants it proper easy money all i want is for u t lie next to me and play wid me dont even want sex .proper nice lad 150 f dat u b stupid t turn it down ."

I replied again to reiterate my working hours and let him know I don't visit Travelodges

"Soot yourself am 30 years old proper nice lad.no one will even cum c me 150 pound supid thanks any way."
 
I stopped replying

"Shudnt turn down dat kind of money u must b loaded ha ha."

I blocked him...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 05 December 2014, 03:26:06 am
Just home from a night out and turned on the whorephone to see what's come in,  as you sometimes do...


U up? Am single ? An loyal x



What am i meant to say?  Incidentally from the same number i posted about previously asking if i wanted to keep him warm


Maybe i should advertise as a 24/7 radiator. Or a 2.30am one as both requests were at that time

From a location 20 miles *ish* away haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 05 December 2014, 06:27:25 pm
Phonecall today,
Me, Hello.
Him, Can I have some details.
Me, What would you like to know?
Him, How much?
Me, It's on my profile.
Him, Where are you?
Me, It's on my profile.
Him, I just looked at your phone number.
Me, Yes clearly, goodbye

Do any of you girls have guys ring and just say "Can I have some details" ? What do they think we have a script that we've practised to recite! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 05 December 2014, 06:30:11 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 05 December 2014, 06:27:25 pm
Phonecall today,
Me, Hello.
Him, Can I have some details.
Me, What would you like to know?
Him, How much?
Me, It's on my profile.
Him, Where are you?
Me, It's on my profile.
Him, I just looked at your phone number.
Me, Yes clearly, goodbye

Do any of you girls have guys ring and just say "Can I have some details" ? What do they think we have a script that we've practised to recite! X
Some they can't read write or listen !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 05 December 2014, 06:45:53 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 05 December 2014, 06:27:25 pm
Do any of you girls have guys ring and just say "Can I have some details" ? What do they think we have a script that we've practised to recite! X

ALL THE BLEEDING TIME!!

Vivastreet was the worst (I'm not paying after having a free month's trial) as you could put so little on the ad, but it winds me up when they've looked at my AdultWork profile, or even claim to have visited my website - where all the information you could possibly need is laid out.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 05 December 2014, 06:49:00 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 05 December 2014, 06:45:53 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 05 December 2014, 06:27:25 pm
Do any of you girls have guys ring and just say "Can I have some details" ? What do they think we have a script that we've practised to recite! X

ALL THE BLEEDING TIME!!

Vivastreet was the worst (I'm not paying after having a free month's trial) as you could put so little on the ad, but it winds me up when they've looked at my AdultWork profile, or even claim to have visited my website - where all the information you could possibly need is laid out.
It how they say it too, very deadpan, and on an aw profile they have no excuse!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 05 December 2014, 07:21:06 pm
All the time. Then when you do tell them what you do and don't do they don't book.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 05 December 2014, 07:48:11 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 05 December 2014, 07:21:06 pm
All the time. Then when you do tell them what you do and don't do they don't book.
I don't tell them! I don't know what they expect me to say x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 05 December 2014, 08:55:31 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 05 December 2014, 07:48:11 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 05 December 2014, 07:21:06 pm
All the time. Then when you do tell them what you do and don't do they don't book.
I don't tell them! I don't know what they expect me to say x
I ask them what they want to know. Usually they've read nothing and ask where I am and what my rates are. When I tell them how much they usually say they'll call back later...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 05 December 2014, 09:59:16 pm
I recieved this brilliant email via AW.

Hi huni,U look fabolous I love bigger ladies who give anal.

I m mature male who is very clean and polite ,my cock ain't that big so good for anal .

I presume somebody like u is very busy so I must ask that before we meet we both have a shower --sorry just my thing.

Anyway fancy an initial meet of an hour and if we get on next meet much longer.

Hope this email is acceptable .

I prefer weekdays and early afternoon is best time for me.

Await ur reply before booking.

Many thanks

I really appreciate being accused of not washing :-D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roxy666 on 05 December 2014, 10:59:41 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 05 December 2014, 06:49:00 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 05 December 2014, 06:45:53 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 05 December 2014, 06:27:25 pm
Do any of you girls have guys ring and just say "Can I have some details" ? What do they think we have a script that we've practised to recite! X

ALL THE BLEEDING TIME!!

Vivastreet was the worst (I'm not paying after having a free month's trial) as you could put so little on the ad, but it winds me up when they've looked at my AdultWork profile, or even claim to have visited my website - where all the information you could possibly need is laid out.
It how they say it too, very deadpan, and on an aw profile they have no excuse!

Ugh! I had this yesterday with two callers! It makes me want to reach through my phone grab their head and smash them into a wall several times! Lol. I just direct them back to my profile, if they're too lazy to read the information on my profile that would take them all of two minutes, them I'm too lazy to entertain an actual conversation with these eejits! One of them just called to ask me to text him some details. .......... errrrrr, Details of what exactly!? Next time I get that question, I'm going to copy and paste the specification details of a DVD player or something and send it too them! Lol
Then when I finally get an answer off them, its all, - what's your rates, where are you based, do you do this, do you do that.  :FF :FF
So I know these irritating questions aren't a result of lacking information, it's just because there's a Dick on the end of the line, and surprise surprise, the larger percentage of these idiots tend to turn out to be fantasists or TWs.

.........rant over  ;D lol

xox
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosa on 05 December 2014, 11:08:42 pm
Whilst this is annoying it is worth knowing that the AW mobile version doesn't lead you though the details like the pc/laptop version does - it puts your summary, plus phone number onto the screen so it looks like a small classified ad and to read any details you have to then click on some really not obvious buttons.

So I can understand why there has been an increase in this type of enquiry. It can also be well worth having a sort of script to run through, name, age, location, services, prices takes 30 seconds and then he knows whether he wants to go further. It's also an opportunity to put across a professional no-nonsense front.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roxy666 on 05 December 2014, 11:16:21 pm
Ahhh, I see, I do remember the app, kind of, but thought it was pretty crap, so I have the full web version on my phone. Might incorporate something in my title suggesting to read further for rates blah blah.
I am a little bit more patient with others, but these two sounded so off down the phone, alarm bells were ringing almost immediately, it's strange how we can distinguish a tw etc down the phone lol xox
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 05 December 2014, 11:16:50 pm
Quote from: Rosa on 05 December 2014, 11:08:42 pm
Whilst this is annoying it is worth knowing that the AW mobile version doesn't lead you though the details like the pc/laptop version does - it puts your summary, plus phone number onto the screen so it looks like a small classified ad and to read any details you have to then click on some really not obvious buttons.

So I can understand why there has been an increase in this type of enquiry. It can also be well worth having a sort of script to run through, name, age, location, services, prices takes 30 seconds and then he knows whether he wants to go further. It's also an opportunity to put across a professional no-nonsense front.

Yes - I realised this the other week when I looked at AW on my mobile. It's less informative than Vivastreet. Have a spiel, say the spiel and don't let it bug you.

After all a lot of them just want to hear your voice and get a feel for you. If your profile answers every fucking possible question then what can they ask or say to establish a rapport?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosa on 05 December 2014, 11:24:10 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 05 December 2014, 11:16:50 pm
Quote from: Rosa on 05 December 2014, 11:08:42 pm
Whilst this is annoying it is worth knowing that the AW mobile version doesn't lead you though the details like the pc/laptop version does - it puts your summary, plus phone number onto the screen so it looks like a small classified ad and to read any details you have to then click on some really not obvious buttons.

So I can understand why there has been an increase in this type of enquiry. It can also be well worth having a sort of script to run through, name, age, location, services, prices takes 30 seconds and then he knows whether he wants to go further. It's also an opportunity to put across a professional no-nonsense front.

Yes - I realised this the other week when I looked at AW on my mobile. It's less informative than Vivastreet. Have a spiel, say the spiel and don't let it bug you.

After all a lot of them just want to hear your voice and get a feel for you. If your profile answers every fucking possible question then what can they ask or say to establish a rapport?

That's what I've figured after a few enquiries which asked a question, say something about my availability on a day or week, then turns out they want a booking on a different day or time.

That is however different to someone who can't make up their mind, and is just faffing about.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 05 December 2014, 11:39:54 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 05 December 2014, 06:27:25 pm
Phonecall today,
Me, Hello.
Him, Can I have some details.
Me, What would you like to know?
Him, How much?
Me, It's on my profile.
Him, Where are you?
Me, It's on my profile.
Him, I just looked at your phone number.
Me, Yes clearly, goodbye

Do any of you girls have guys ring and just say "Can I have some details" ? What do they think we have a script that we've practised to recite! X


Yep I do , comes from the days of working from adds in the papers and you needed a script /spiel to answer the billion and one phone calls you got every day
If you didn't work to some sort of script back then you would have gone mad

I still use it now  and I can generally  convert a fair amount of general enquires into bookings by doing it this way

I can also say it in my sleep and u have to always check what. Iphone I'm picking up ( not my personal one ( so that I don't answer the wrong way )   
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 06 December 2014, 10:02:39 am
sent 3 times this morning/
first text   hi hun I really want to fuck up the arse
 next text same number do you mind having a big one rammed up your arse for a couple of hours
he is on call blocker, its Saturday morning  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 06 December 2014, 10:12:22 am
Quote from: ParisB on 05 December 2014, 11:39:54 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 05 December 2014, 06:27:25 pm
Phonecall today,
Me, Hello.
Him, Can I have some details.
Me, What would you like to know?
Him, How much?
Me, It's on my profile.
Him, Where are you?
Me, It's on my profile.
Him, I just looked at your phone number.
Me, Yes clearly, goodbye

Do any of you girls have guys ring and just say "Can I have some details" ? What do they think we have a script that we've practised to recite! X


Yep I do , comes from the days of working from adds in the papers and you needed a script /spiel to answer the billion and one phone calls you got every day
If you didn't work to some sort of script back then you would have gone mad

I still use it now  and I can generally  convert a fair amount of general enquires into bookings by doing it this way

I can also say it in my sleep and u have to always check what. Iphone I'm picking up ( not my personal one ( so that I don't answer the wrong way )
It's more annoying the way they ask, not "hello can I have some details please" just "details please" as if I'm not a valid person that can have a normal conversation! I get it that they can't always see most of our info but for christs sake a little politeness goes a long way, x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 06 December 2014, 10:34:01 am
Quote from: Erotic flower on 06 December 2014, 10:02:39 am
sent 3 times this morning/
first text   hi hun I really want to fuck up the arse
 next text same number do you mind having a big one rammed up your arse for a couple of hours
he is on call blocker, its Saturday morning  ::)

It will only get worse - Christmas brings out the assholes on force
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 06 December 2014, 11:13:11 am
I have this one guy that is seriously starting to piss me off, no matter how much I ignore him he continues to text asking for farking freebies.  The first time which was about a year ago, he told me his wife had just been diagnosed with cancer, i turned his request down and his request for a freebie to help him feel better, his words.

A few months later he booked me at my full rate and then progressed to tell me during the appointment, who he has been seeing and how much he paid him.  Yep felt like a slap in the face.

A month later another text asking for a freebie as his son had been in a serious car accident, I ignored him, after that every month I get a text from him asking for an appointment with some excuse looking for a freebie, today is no different.  Apparently this time he has hurt his ankle two weeks ago and has since been off, wanting a freebie and offering his services as a stunt cock in return as he has not been earning over the past two weeks.  I have been ignoring him and he has so far send me 7 text messages this morning.   :FF  I am hormonal on top so you can imagine the willpower it is taking me to bite my tongue.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roxy666 on 06 December 2014, 12:04:03 pm
Oof! I particularly hate those ones, I thinks it's sick to lie about cancer, children in accidents etc.
And I definitely reckon you deserve a medal for holding back! I've only lost my cool once in two years, funnily enough, due to hormones, the pill I had been put on was turning me into a crazy bitch monster from hell lol, so I take my hat off to you!xox
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 06 December 2014, 12:22:13 pm
Start texting him out of the blue telling him sob stories and asking him to send you money.  :D

Not really - that would be a bad idea. Just keep ignoring. He will get bored eventually.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DustedWithSugar on 06 December 2014, 01:35:40 pm
About being asked this same stupid questions over and over again - I found out that a lot of guys (except TW), they ask those questions, just because there is so many fake profiles right now. It's the case especially about the rates. They call me and ask me about my rates. I'm telling them to check my profile and call me back. And then they usually say "it's xxx, isn't it?" and then they say they wanted to make sure I have so hidden extras, like for kissing or something.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 06 December 2014, 08:09:46 pm
Quote from: ParisB on 06 December 2014, 10:34:01 am
Quote from: Erotic flower on 06 December 2014, 10:02:39 am
sent 3 times this morning/
first text   hi hun I really want to fuck up the arse
 next text same number do you mind having a big one rammed up your arse for a couple of hours
he is on call blocker, its Saturday morning  ::)

It will only get worse - Christmas brings out the assholes on force
it did get a lot worse now ive been finally left in peace by the jerk
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 06 December 2014, 09:29:57 pm
Had some little boys call earlier thinking they were being funny, just put it on loudspeaker and listened for my own amusement they were sitting there for 3.20min deciding whether I was on the other end and trying to figure out whether it was an escorts number they rang lol Idiots!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 07 December 2014, 03:00:49 am
I too find that most of those who say can I have details are TWs so I understand the frustration, even when I politely give them so sometimes I also just say all info is on profile. I rarely get them from AW asking that but I have 2 work nmbrs and with the mainly free sites I list on, I put my age in the title, again in the profile, my postcode and nearest station and list out the rates, not just tick the box. Sometimes they check if I do a certain service which is fine but not spoken about in length of course. All of the above is written in about 5 lines so they don't have to spend minutes reading it.  Or like one a few days ago who said he's just switched off his computer and didn't quite catch my age, bust size or rates before doing so!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 09 December 2014, 06:05:59 pm
Via email on Adultwork:
Hi Bibi,I'm (dickwad)and I'm 26.I have a long cock and my ex girlfriend used to tell me how it used to bang against her cervix.I love pleasuring women with my long cock but before I book girls I love to tease them a bit so was wondering if you had skype or msn so we could chat before I book you.You are really my type (Dickwad) x

Funnily when I offered to listen to his shite via directmessage on Adultwork for 60p a minute he didnt reply...div haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 09 December 2014, 08:49:18 pm
Quote from: bibi on 09 December 2014, 06:05:59 pm
Via email on Adultwork:
Hi Bibi,I'm (dickwad)and I'm 26.I have a long cock and my ex girlfriend used to tell me how it used to bang against her cervix.I love pleasuring women with my long cock but before I book girls I love to tease them a bit so was wondering if you had skype or msn so we could chat before I book you.You are really my type (Dickwad) x

Funnily when I offered to listen to his shite via directmessage on Adultwork for 60p a minute he didnt reply...div haha!
The ones that ask if you wanna skype before a booking are always pricks!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 10 December 2014, 12:38:30 am
Quote from: bibi on 09 December 2014, 06:05:59 pm
Via email on Adultwork:
Hi Bibi,I'm (dickwad)and I'm 26.I have a long cock and my ex girlfriend used to tell me how it used to bang against her cervix.I love pleasuring women with my long cock but before I book girls I love to tease them a bit so was wondering if you had skype or msn so we could chat before I book you.You are really my type (Dickwad) x

Funnily when I offered to listen to his shite via directmessage on Adultwork for 60p a minute he didnt reply...div haha!


That is the most disgusting thing I've read today, dickwad ad his long (yak) cervix banger...ugh I feel violated
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 10 December 2014, 01:38:15 am
Yep seriously deluded if he thinks having your cervix bruised is sexy!Some real cockwombles on Adultwork at the moment.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 10 December 2014, 10:07:50 pm
yay cock womble is catching on hehehe
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: StawberryFields on 11 December 2014, 11:04:35 am
It will be a half hour booking as this is all i pay for now. The reason for this is the escorts i have meet get so much pleasure from my pussy licking that i spend the first half hour just pleasuring them & they have all been fair over this. As i mentioned to you before its not about the girl serving me in a meet its a two way thing.

So it depends on if your a clock watching girl or not - if you are we will run out of time and you won't get pleasured as much, spoiling the fun all round but if your not & it stretches 15 or 20 mins over then you are in for some real good pussy licking pleasure


 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 11 December 2014, 03:37:42 pm
I'd of said you pay for 30 mins you get 30 mins.My boyfriend will make up for my lack of pleasure later when you have paid for your 30 mins and left on the dot of 30 mins.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 11 December 2014, 05:13:12 pm
If I were an utterly hard an fearless harlot, I would take the booking and then tell him at the thirty minute point, "Actually, you're rubbish that this. Time's up!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 11 December 2014, 05:18:51 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 11 December 2014, 05:13:12 pm
If I were an utterly hard an fearless harlot, I would take the booking and then tell him at the thirty minute point, "Actually, you're rubbish that this. Time's up!"

I don't do RO (and posts like the one above remind me why) but if I did I'd take the booking and make sure I got up and put my robe on the second thirty minutes was up. I wouldn't tell him he was rubbish though, I'd just smile politely and ask if he'd like to extend at the advertised rate :).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: International Whore on 11 December 2014, 05:46:25 pm
I'd reject him because he uses the word pussy  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 11 December 2014, 06:01:19 pm
Quote from: Claire Jayne on 11 December 2014, 05:46:25 pm
I'd reject him because he uses the word pussy  ;D

Yes, he'd fall foul of my no mentioning body parts in an email rule, and also by using the word 'pleasure' as a verb :-X.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hollybolly on 11 December 2014, 10:14:46 pm
:FF So many idiots today. Last minute booker/canceller TW. Guy that lives nearly three hours away wants a 1 hour booking, when I decline he continues to phone and text? My favourite, some turd from the other end of the country with a "genius" idea. Escorting as a couple... ummm. No thanks! Creep. SO MUCH BS. Yeah this is more of a rant but grrrrr.  :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 11 December 2014, 10:44:23 pm
I had a guy call me en route to a booking with me to ask "Are you completely female?" "Do you mean have I ever had testicles or a Y chromosome?" "Yeah." "No, I have never had testicles or a y chromosome. I'm cancelling your booking. Please don't come by."

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hollybolly on 11 December 2014, 10:57:44 pm
What the... haha oh dear God! ::) "Are you completely human?" Some guys are just not from this planet!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rubyruby on 11 December 2014, 11:00:16 pm
Hi can you do an outcall from 9pm-3am ?300 must be bareback

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 12 December 2014, 09:53:09 am
A guy just rang and asked if it was ok that he was really old. I said it was fine. He then went on to say that because he was really old and has problems with condoms(?) I decided not to let him go into details and told him there were no exceptions. He then asked how much extra, I obviously still said no. What has age got to do with wearing a condom?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 12 December 2014, 10:21:48 am
Hi I am hoping you wont block me, I know im being cheeky but I don't have much money could I have  freebie emailed in the week!.
blocked to no surprise  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sourgrapes on 12 December 2014, 10:57:56 am
Quote from: Red KB on 12 December 2014, 09:53:09 am
A guy just rang and asked if it was ok that he was really old. I said it was fine. He then went on to say that because he was really old and has problems with condoms(?) I decided not to let him go into details and told him there were no exceptions. He then asked how much extra, I obviously still said no. What has age got to do with wearing a condom?!

Quite a lot, actually. I see quite a few clients in their seventies, and have a hand full of regulars in their early eighties, who can simply no longer get hard enough for a condom to stay on. I don't even attempt sex, but offer oral instead, sometimes owo, sometimes with a condom, which I have to hold onto their cocks to prevent it coming off.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 12 December 2014, 11:11:46 am
Fair enough. Just not an issue I've encountered with an older chap yet. Still shitty of him to offer extra to go without though.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hollybolly on 12 December 2014, 01:25:16 pm
"Findomme" client wanting to take me around Tesco, humiliate him, take him back to mine have "make" him cross dress etc etc. All this over two hours...but he does not want to pay my hourly rate. But will buy me stuff at Tescos up to the price of my rate. ::)  Emmm, nope that is just nope. Seriously, just give me the paper, you know seeing as I charge for my time. A shopping "trip" in the supermarket is just not what I'm after. :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sourgrapes on 13 December 2014, 09:17:29 am
This one came in at 05.30 this morning: Hi, you are so very pretty. I'm a 28 year old very recently heartbroken man. If I could have 1 hour tomorrow for ?100 that would be a Christmas miracle.

It would indeed, since it's less than half my hourly rate. Also, I'm not Santa, or his mother, so not responsible for his "Christmas miracle". Jeez....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 13 December 2014, 03:10:34 pm
An email today,
Hi, I am a sub looking to clean you up after getting cream pied, a lot of girls I've contacted don't know what cream pied really is so I would need you to email with exactly what this is and details of what will happen to me during the session, such as positions your boyfriend will fuck you, how much cum will be on your pussy and how you would like me to clean it up and the kind of verbal abuse you will use. Thanks.

Free wank I suspect!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MiaSg on 14 December 2014, 04:58:11 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 13 December 2014, 03:10:34 pm
An email today,
Hi, I am a sub looking to clean you up after getting cream pied, a lot of girls I've contacted don't know what cream pied really is so I would need you to email with exactly what this is and details of what will happen to me during the session, such as positions your boyfriend will fuck you, how much cum will be on your pussy and how you would like me to clean it up and the kind of verbal abuse you will use. Thanks.

Free wank I suspect!

Lol !!!
 ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 14 December 2014, 08:19:03 am
Text message last night:

Quote
Can we meet you tonight we have 7 lads who are up for u is that OK??

same idiot:

Quote
Hi Would u be able to accommodate 4 guys this evening??

Blocked him this morning..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 14 December 2014, 01:21:22 pm
AW message;

"I am a local doctor and am looking for someone I can see on a regular basis. But I'm also looking for someone who is clean and tested. Are you willing to have intimate sex if I show you a recent medical certificate stating that I am clean and do not have any STDs ?

Money is no object so please name your price."

I am assuming he is asking for BB here although he doesn't say it. Had to fight the temptation to reply and say if he's really a doctor then he should know a medical certificate is totally invalid.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 14 December 2014, 02:27:05 pm
"...Hi I'd like I to join me with a man friend, he is bi like me...if you love sex so much you will love us....sadly we can only pay your hourly rate for both of us..."

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 14 December 2014, 02:58:35 pm
Working?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sourgrapes on 14 December 2014, 05:03:41 pm
One of my inquiries deteriorated badly today: new guy books, sounds perfectly fine and reasonable on the phone, we arrange a time for an hour's incall, brief chat about parking arrangements, and I text him the post code, asking him to call for the building number once he's parked up.

Then a text message arrives, asking to take pictures during the session. I don't allow that, and perfectly politely ask him to find a WG who offers this service. Once a guy has had this request refused, I no longer trust him in the bed room with his mobile, and don't fancy him bringing the subject up again once he's inside the house. So, send him a perfectly friendly text going no thanks.

Response comes back: Fucking (... nationality...) whore.
Now I'm thinking wow, glad he's not coming over   ??? I make a note against his number to ignore in the future.
An hour goes by, then I get a text: Are you swallowing lots of spunk today?

Now, this is a guy who sounded absolutely ok vanilla initially, but is really just a ball of anger and resentment. Scratch the surface, and underneath is so much rage with some men. Glad it's not me he's coming home to at night, that's for sure (shudder)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: International Whore on 14 December 2014, 06:21:38 pm
From the same wank stain in the space of about 10 minutes, he was having a text conversation with himself as I did not respond to any of them:

Hi im john and i have a riend we want to now i much for to three some?

or you have a girlfriend?

can you explain all your services and prices?

but do you have a girlfriend?

Ok sorry I don't fond your profile  i just remember you live close to me so if I find your profile  I call you for to meet and to enjoy

I just want sex can you help me?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: berri on 14 December 2014, 10:08:03 pm
Got this gem today:

"festive discount"

Nothing else at all. Fucking idiot
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 15 December 2014, 01:31:39 pm
??????

Then 5 mins later ??????

Then 10 mins??????


WTF am I supposed to be a mindreader
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 15 December 2014, 04:04:46 pm
what service do I get in a 15 min quickie ?
it says u finish today at 9pm can I see you at 9.45pm ?
email from a clown on adultwork
 :FF ::) :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 15 December 2014, 05:51:20 pm
A text a few days ago:

U free tnite hotel please thank u for over night

I replied that I don't offer overnights and didn't hear back for a couple of days, until this text out of the blue:

No problem girl rob us
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 18 December 2014, 11:47:50 am
I don't accept text correspondence and received this text this morning, "I'm having difficulty calling out on my phone so can't call you. Would love to come and see you today though if you are available?"

I'd be more concerned about getting my phone to work properly than booking an escort.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: StawberryFields on 18 December 2014, 12:21:27 pm
"Would you swap a meet for a iPad Air :P"

I laughed him off, though now I'm actually considering this as a Christmas present for someone... Still ends up in the thread for the ridiculousness of the situation!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 18 December 2014, 08:54:41 pm
Quote from: StawberryFields on 18 December 2014, 12:21:27 pm
"Would you swap a meet for a iPad Air :P"

I laughed him off, though now I'm actually considering this as a Christmas present for someone... Still ends up in the thread for the ridiculousness of the situation!
I've had the offer of an iPod in return for a session! A bloody iPod ! A mac book air is an improvement at least x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 19 December 2014, 12:41:06 pm
I had a call this morning from someone asking if they could order me. I said did he mean he wanted to make a booking. Whatever his response was it was not understandable as his accent was so thick. I could hear giggling in the background so probably someone putting on a stupid accent to be a pratt.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Reni on 19 December 2014, 01:06:45 pm
Had a call this morning:
I will be in your area in a few days and want to know before I book can you sit on my face and fanny fart on me?
Err no.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 19 December 2014, 02:47:31 pm
I've got two idiots at the moment..
Idiot #1: Ok, text u  Monday when I'm coming to fuck you in they white sox bent over. (that's just one of many).
Idiot #2: Is ur pussy available to meet my cock tomorrow at lunchtime?
 ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 19 December 2014, 03:19:00 pm
Email received at 2.53, "Can I see you at 3pm?" Sure, are you already outside my front door?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DustedWithSugar on 19 December 2014, 07:07:59 pm
Quote from: Siorse on 19 December 2014, 02:47:31 pm
Idiot #2: Is ur pussy available to meet my cock tomorrow at lunchtime?
 ::) ::)
You could send him this:
http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRh3iXC2ZffLfBVvgGSz3vEVVxsIZDKESOlA4DAHyVRAd43LamX (http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRh3iXC2ZffLfBVvgGSz3vEVVxsIZDKESOlA4DAHyVRAd43LamX)
You don't need to be present, it's just your pussy. I suppose his cock it's detachable from his body as well.

I just had request to watch dog porn.
I said no.
"But I'll pay extra?????????"

Sigh.  ::)

btw how do I insert pictures to my posts? or it's not allowed to?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 20 December 2014, 08:25:16 am
I do declare sometimes a few deluded so called punters assume I run councelling service.  Got an email this morning from someone I supposedly had seen before asking if we could possibly meet this week, directed him to my schedule and availability for him to decide what time and day would suit him.  This was his response..

Sorry , not looking for nothing in a professional capacity .
 
just vhat hun, if that ok with u

My response was...

Sorry but I run a business not the Samaritans but you are welcome to book me for an hour just to have a chat.

Why is it that just because you are professional and friendly during your appointments they assume you are gullible and stupid.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 20 December 2014, 09:30:57 am
Hi
I'm looking for half hour with you
I'd like sex straight away
Laugh at how quick I cum
Put your panties in my mouth.
Make me wear your bra
Laugh at me and humilite me
Make me crawl behind you
Make me drink my cum from my condom
Make me wear your panties when I leave
Would you do this?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sourgrapes on 20 December 2014, 11:05:34 am
Quote from: Carol on 19 December 2014, 07:07:59 pm
Quote from: Siorse on 19 December 2014, 02:47:31 pm
Idiot #2: Is ur pussy available to meet my cock tomorrow at lunchtime?
 ::) ::)
You could send him this:
http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRh3iXC2ZffLfBVvgGSz3vEVVxsIZDKESOlA4DAHyVRAd43LamX (http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRh3iXC2ZffLfBVvgGSz3vEVVxsIZDKESOlA4DAHyVRAd43LamX)
You don't need to be present, it's just your pussy. I suppose his cock it's detachable from his body as well.

You crack me up, Carol!   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 20 December 2014, 11:57:55 am
Quote from: Carol on 19 December 2014, 07:07:59 pm
Quote from: Siorse on 19 December 2014, 02:47:31 pm
Idiot #2: Is ur pussy available to meet my cock tomorrow at lunchtime?
 ::) ::)
You could send him this:
http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRh3iXC2ZffLfBVvgGSz3vEVVxsIZDKESOlA4DAHyVRAd43LamX (http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRh3iXC2ZffLfBVvgGSz3vEVVxsIZDKESOlA4DAHyVRAd43LamX)
You don't need to be present, it's just your pussy. I suppose his cock it's detachable from his body as well.


Pmsl that's class, if I get a txt from him again I'll defo send him that!!  ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 20 December 2014, 12:35:39 pm
Had a guy call me earlier today " i need to see you asap my balls are bursting" I told him I will only be available at 1pm, think he got the message.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Reni on 20 December 2014, 03:07:22 pm
Guy on aw advertising as a straight male escort. Wants a free outcall in return for a glowing feedback as long as I give him one too!
Ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 20 December 2014, 04:14:21 pm
Oww, see this "I'll give you feedback if you give me.." bookings, I'm bloody sick of em..
In my humble opinion it doesn't make a blind bit of difference how much feedback I've got, business is still the same...!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Reni on 20 December 2014, 04:48:39 pm
Exactly and he wants a free booking! So a chancer really. What's to stop more clients doing that. Besides I've got loads of feedback why would I want a fake one?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 20 December 2014, 06:50:14 pm
I report those guys. I had one just asking to put in a booking - not even see me - for feedback and I reported him to AW.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 20 December 2014, 10:16:32 pm
I usually just forget and ignore tw emails but this one bugged me all day. Man in his 50s says he wants strap on on him but as I would be taking his anal virginity (lucky me) he won't pay for it. In return he will give me oral (again lucky me) and I can choose whether I have sex with him or give him bj. (3x lucky). Plus he wants it filmed and he will allow me to use it on my profile!

I think this is one that he would def get zero takers. He has 2 aliases and he's sent 100s of emails so he's obviously very desperate. There's so much I wanted to say to him but I refrained.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 21 December 2014, 09:53:01 am
I had an email via backpage from a guy claiming to be in a wheelchair. I replied honestly advising that I offered incalls only and my premises would not be suitable for his requirements. He then replied saying he was actually on crutches and it wouldn't be a problem. I asked him to advise a date and time suitable for him to visit. He then asked me to meet at a local Tesco so he could buy used underwear off me. I decided not to continue with the correspondence and he's since emailed me via vivastreet with the same opening message...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 21 December 2014, 11:56:48 pm
I got this gem recently:

I am interested in booking an Incall for a 2-3 hour session and eventually an Overnite. I am mid 40s, Single, work as a NHS Professional at Teaching Hospital and am screened at Warrington GUM/STI Clinic and made my 81st blood donation, all results negative, so can bring NHS Mersey NBS Document proof and ID. I have one request, i am not keen on condoms.

I would like Anal Bback and/or Sex BBack, but DO NOT want to cum inside you. PULL OUT and cum wherever u want. I am looking for an adventurous lady to see regularly and overnites. I can bring Wine, Spirits, Champagne, whatever u like to make the time more pleasureable. I can also bring a cock ring, exotic massage oils, tingle gel, good poppers (no headache) or something stronger and Columbian?! If u like that ;) and am fully shaven.If this interests u let me know. U can check my v good feedback on AW - Ashes1.
Best wishes

His "very good feedback" is pretty shit, actually. Apparently, dozens of women have taken him up on his splendid offer but some of the feedback... yikes! :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 22 December 2014, 12:51:17 am
Quote from: Fabulassie on 21 December 2014, 11:56:48 pm
but DO NOT want to cum inside you. PULL OUT and cum wherever u want.

Gah I hate these sorts, I mean pulling out is not a full proof preventative against pregnancy and how do you know the girls contraceptive is working or thst she is even on any.

Sorry but I don't care if a guy is clean this is just pure stupidity to take such a risk.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 22 December 2014, 07:06:07 am
Quote from: Fabulassie on 21 December 2014, 11:56:48 pm
I got this gem recently:

I am interested in booking an Incall for a 2-3 hour session and eventually an Overnite. I am mid 40s, Single, work as a NHS Professional at Teaching Hospital and am screened at Warrington GUM/STI Clinic and made my 81st blood donation, all results negative, so can bring NHS Mersey NBS Document proof and ID. I have one request, i am not keen on condoms.

I would like Anal Bback and/or Sex BBack, but DO NOT want to cum inside you. PULL OUT and cum wherever u want. I am looking for an adventurous lady to see regularly and overnites. I can bring Wine, Spirits, Champagne, whatever u like to make the time more pleasureable. I can also bring a cock ring, exotic massage oils, tingle gel, good poppers (no headache) or something stronger and Columbian?! If u like that ;) and am fully shaven.If this interests u let me know. U can check my v good feedback on AW - Ashes1.
Best wishes

His "very good feedback" is pretty shit, actually. Apparently, dozens of women have taken him up on his splendid offer but some of the feedback... yikes! :o

Wow and he works for the NHS!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 22 December 2014, 07:26:57 am
And look at this message I woke up to this morning:

Hello I would not make the figure of the bumbling. I got to the site AW only to be able to have you for me just for a moment because I dislike most women like you, but I can not find your number because I'm not a surfer of the web, give me a help

The only thing I really understand about this is "he dislikes most women like me."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosa on 22 December 2014, 08:26:28 am
Quote from: Fluffy Bunny on 22 December 2014, 07:06:07 am
Quote from: Fabulassie on 21 December 2014, 11:56:48 pm
I got this gem recently:

I am interested in booking an Incall for a 2-3 hour session and eventually an Overnite. I am mid 40s, Single, work as a NHS Professional at Teaching Hospital and am screened at Warrington GUM/STI Clinic and made my 81st blood donation, all results negative, so can bring NHS Mersey NBS Document proof and ID. I have one request, i am not keen on condoms.

I would like Anal Bback and/or Sex BBack, but DO NOT want to cum inside you. PULL OUT and cum wherever u want. I am looking for an adventurous lady to see regularly and overnites. I can bring Wine, Spirits, Champagne, whatever u like to make the time more pleasureable. I can also bring a cock ring, exotic massage oils, tingle gel, good poppers (no headache) or something stronger and Columbian?! If u like that ;) and am fully shaven.If this interests u let me know. U can check my v good feedback on AW - Ashes1.
Best wishes

His "very good feedback" is pretty shit, actually. Apparently, dozens of women have taken him up on his splendid offer but some of the feedback... yikes! :o

Wow and he works for the NHS!

If he does isn't this indiscrete posting enough information to possibly identify him?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 22 December 2014, 09:06:50 am
Rushing around like a blue arse fly only for the hmmmm twit to cancel 5 minutes before appointment time.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 22 December 2014, 09:07:47 am
Quote from: Rosa on 22 December 2014, 08:26:28 am
Quote from: Fluffy Bunny on 22 December 2014, 07:06:07 am
Quote from: Fabulassie on 21 December 2014, 11:56:48 pm
I got this gem recently:

I am interested in booking an Incall for a 2-3 hour session and eventually an Overnite. I am mid 40s, Single, work as a NHS Professional at Teaching Hospital and am screened at Warrington GUM/STI Clinic and made my 81st blood donation, all results negative, so can bring NHS Mersey NBS Document proof and ID. I have one request, i am not keen on condoms.

I would like Anal Bback and/or Sex BBack, but DO NOT want to cum inside you. PULL OUT and cum wherever u want. I am looking for an adventurous lady to see regularly and overnites. I can bring Wine, Spirits, Champagne, whatever u like to make the time more pleasureable. I can also bring a cock ring, exotic massage oils, tingle gel, good poppers (no headache) or something stronger and Columbian?! If u like that ;) and am fully shaven.If this interests u let me know. U can check my v good feedback on AW - Ashes1.
Best wishes

His "very good feedback" is pretty shit, actually. Apparently, dozens of women have taken him up on his splendid offer but some of the feedback... yikes! :o

Wow and he works for the NHS!

If he does isn't this indiscrete posting enough information to possibly identify him?

A) I think he's lying and B) He doesn't ID where he supposedly works by name - just the clinic where he supposedly gets screened regularly.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: berri on 22 December 2014, 09:50:03 am
Been receiving "hixx" over and over again. Had it at least 10 times in the last 12 hours.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 22 December 2014, 09:59:53 am
Quote from: Fabulassie on 22 December 2014, 09:07:47 am
Quote from: Rosa on 22 December 2014, 08:26:28 am
If he does isn't this indiscrete posting enough information to possibly identify him?

A) I think he's lying and B) He doesn't ID where he supposedly works by name - just the clinic where he supposedly gets screened regularly.

Yep. Plus given that he's having sex with 'commercial sex workers', he's either lying about it when donating blood or lying about donating blood - he should be barred from doing so for a year after his most recent booking.

(This is not the thread to argue about whether or not that's a good thing.)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MiaSg on 22 December 2014, 10:13:11 am
Quote from: Fabulassie on 22 December 2014, 07:26:57 am
And look at this message I woke up to this morning:

Hello I would not make the figure of the bumbling. I got to the site AW only to be able to have you for me just for a moment because I dislike most women like you, but I can not find your number because I'm not a surfer of the web, give me a help

The only thing I really understand about this is "he dislikes most women like me."

 :o ::)
What on earth is he talking about ? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 22 December 2014, 11:09:00 am
hi

i am messaging you because i have a rare and embarrassing request that requires someone with your expert knowledge and open mindedness

i am trying to find someone who will help me in making a penile subincision on myself , it would require me been tied so i couldnt get out of it and a cut been made just like the picture on my profile or the one below


http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Penile_subincision#mediaviewer/File:Meatotomy.JPG

i know it is not an everyday thing to ask and would be willing to pay the right price for the service and also would be willing to sign a disclaimer , please dont judge me and let me know either way if you can help or not

one girl said she can do it for ?900 , if you can do it cheaper

if you need to talk to me my skype name is pickster1
he has red notes against his name wonder why lol !!! its a no from me
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 22 December 2014, 11:16:16 am
Quote from: MiaSg on 22 December 2014, 10:13:11 am
Quote from: Fabulassie on 22 December 2014, 07:26:57 am
And look at this message I woke up to this morning:

Hello I would not make the figure of the bumbling. I got to the site AW only to be able to have you for me just for a moment because I dislike most women like you, but I can not find your number because I'm not a surfer of the web, give me a help

The only thing I really understand about this is "he dislikes most women like me."

 :o ::)
What on earth is he talking about ? ::)
what the f*ck kind of idiot is that !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Reni on 22 December 2014, 11:23:47 am
Quote from: Fabulassie on 22 December 2014, 07:26:57 am
And look at this message I woke up to this morning:

Hello I would not make the figure of the bumbling. I got to the site AW only to be able to have you for me just for a moment because I dislike most women like you, but I can not find your number because I'm not a surfer of the web, give me a help

The only thing I really understand about this is "he dislikes most women like me."

Possibly used google translate? Though how it came up with disliking women...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 22 December 2014, 11:59:49 am
Quote from: Reni on 22 December 2014, 11:23:47 am
Quote from: Fabulassie on 22 December 2014, 07:26:57 am
And look at this message I woke up to this morning:

Hello I would not make the figure of the bumbling. I got to the site AW only to be able to have you for me just for a moment because I dislike most women like you, but I can not find your number because I'm not a surfer of the web, give me a help

The only thing I really understand about this is "he dislikes most women like me."

Possibly used google translate? Though how it came up with disliking women...

Google Translate isn't even half as bad, honestly. Certainly not when translating to English. It has certain oddities crop up here and there but it's mostly coherent. I'd assume someone's taking the piss, really.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PeroxideDonna on 22 December 2014, 12:27:18 pm
Had a guy yesterday call me up telling me he was in a restaurant in town and if i wanted to see him I should meet him there, I said to him thanks for the offer but i'm only doing incalls today and told him my location if he wanted to come over, he then replied "I mean this in the nicest way possible but I will come and see you if I can be bothered" - either really rude guy or very drunk at a christmas party, he called me about 4 times that night, I obviously didn't pick up haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 22 December 2014, 06:16:45 pm
Just had a text saying, "cine esti ras." Did a quick google translate which thinks it's Romanian asking if I'm shaved...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Londonergirl on 22 December 2014, 10:28:22 pm
Got this yesterday:

"Ahahahahaaahaaaha u have to be.... ahahahhaha no fuck that .. if u pay I'm not fucking u !!! shit"


some men...

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 23 December 2014, 08:46:01 am
One for the instant-block yesterday:

Hey how would u like to make ?3000 for sex
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 24 December 2014, 07:21:30 pm
the first email seems ok..

Quote
Hi, I think your amazing and would love to see you. Go out with you or meet up with you. I have a profile too, would you come out sometime and see me sometime babes..?? Please.

so i respond with the fact i will have some time before new year, when was he looking to book

he follows up with...

Quote
Your amazing babes. Would you go out me with for a meet up first babes, please?

i reiterate that he can call me to book, but to be aware, this was work and my time was what was being bought, how he chose to spend that time was up to him, within the guidelines of my profile.

Quote
Will you go out with me first. Like socially, hoping to be good friends with you after that.




scream, breath aaaaaaaaand block!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 24 December 2014, 07:50:14 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 23 December 2014, 08:46:01 am
One for the instant-block yesterday:

Hey how would u like to make ?3000 for sex
Ive had that text a few times over the last few months is his number 077718634xx?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 24 December 2014, 10:00:46 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 24 December 2014, 07:50:14 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 23 December 2014, 08:46:01 am
One for the instant-block yesterday:

Hey how would u like to make ?3000 for sex
Ive had that text a few times over the last few months is his number 077718634xx?

Yep, that's the one!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 25 December 2014, 12:00:34 pm
A text sent in the early hours of Christmas morning - "Call me".

Hmmm, maybe not!

Have a lovely day everyone.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 26 December 2014, 02:25:29 pm
its 3am im lonely can I see you now?  :'(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 28 December 2014, 06:34:27 am
"will u do a bj wiv owo cim &swallow for ?20" (4 feedback all mentioning his thick hard cock and how great he is-- and none active  ::)



"i want a blowjob now"  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 28 December 2014, 09:29:20 am
Quote from: hannah13 on 28 December 2014, 06:34:27 am
"will u do a bj wiv owo cim &swallow for ?20" (4 feedback all mentioning his thick hard cock and how great he is-- and none active  ::)



"i want a blowjob now"  :FF

Tell him you heard that if you put vaseline around the entrance of a vacuum cleaner put his dick in it and then switch it on he will have an unforgettable experience.  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: peachybum on 28 December 2014, 04:13:07 pm
Text received yesterday -

"morning. Am working your way today. Freezing cold builder here. How bout a BJ? 20? Can't blame me for trying"

My reply - " how about you save yourself the ?20 and get one of the lads to do it. You might get somewhere then"

His reply - "that's the best text iv had all year!!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MiaSg on 28 December 2014, 04:38:55 pm
Quote from: peachybum on 28 December 2014, 04:13:07 pm
Text received yesterday -

"morning. Am working your way today. Freezing cold builder here. How bout a BJ? 20? Can't blame me for trying"

My reply - " how about you save yourself the ?20 and get one of the lads to do it. You might get somewhere then"

His reply - "that's the best text iv had all year!!"

At least he has a good sense of humour. :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 28 December 2014, 05:31:20 pm
Quote from: MiaSg on 28 December 2014, 04:38:55 pm
Quote from: peachybum on 28 December 2014, 04:13:07 pm
Text received yesterday -

"morning. Am working your way today. Freezing cold builder here. How bout a BJ? 20? Can't blame me for trying"

My reply - " how about you save yourself the ?20 and get one of the lads to do it. You might get somewhere then"

His reply - "that's the best text iv had all year!!"

At least he has a good sense of humour. :)

That's what I thought! :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: alice842 on 28 December 2014, 09:05:36 pm
I've had all the weirdos crawling out of the woodwork today!

One wanted custard pies thrown in his face. Also had emails asking for hardsports, farting and penis shaving. Maybe they all had such a hard time pretending to be normal over Christmas that they're now doing double the amount of harassing to make up for it.

Also had a guy asking if I'd be offering OWO again soon.. well I don't know how long my wisdom teeth will take to come through so you tell me mate? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MiaSg on 29 December 2014, 10:12:54 am

"I really cant stop thinking about you... I wish i was not married so i could just come and be your bitch x Is there any way i could come see you with out payment??? I will do anything Miss x "


Didn't even bother. ..I just blocked uim
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 29 December 2014, 10:14:52 am
I will turn up to meet you wearing skin tight leggings with my cock sticking out sent in an email
lol no thanks  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MiaSg on 29 December 2014, 10:15:42 am
Btw girls wasn't there a similar thread to this only for webcamming ? What happened to it ? I've been searching all over for it and I can't find it. :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Reni on 29 December 2014, 07:24:44 pm
Text today:
Meet in hotel tonight 400 bare?

What on earth? Does he mean bb?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 29 December 2014, 07:30:46 pm
He sure does Reni.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 30 December 2014, 12:33:41 am
Quote from: MiaSg on 29 December 2014, 10:15:42 am
Btw girls wasn't there a similar thread to this only for webcamming ? What happened to it ? I've been searching all over for it and I can't find it. :(

Here you go :)

http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=7030.0
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MiaSg on 30 December 2014, 10:16:53 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 30 December 2014, 12:33:41 am
Quote from: MiaSg on 29 December 2014, 10:15:42 am
Btw girls wasn't there a similar thread to this only for webcamming ? What happened to it ? I've been searching all over for it and I can't find it. :(

Here you go :)

http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=7030.0


Yay !!! Thank you :) Hehe let the laughs begin ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foxylady on 30 December 2014, 01:31:59 pm
Ladies,

I've just received this message on aw:
...
Re: Love your profile

Hello,
I am a tall, well groomed, smart, polite, generous and good looking 45 year old.
I am currently looking for a new lady in my life. The lucky lady will be extremely well looked after and handsomely rewarded but will certailnly earn her keep.
Your requirements (on your profile) will be more than met but you will have to be good!
If you are interested, please contact me and we can arrange an initial meeting.
...

Have replied I am happy to meet but will charge for it.

Not sure if it's for real or not, has anyone had similar?

Thanks.

Foxy x

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foxylady on 30 December 2014, 02:00:28 pm
Quote from: Exotic flower on 22 December 2014, 11:09:00 am
hi

i am messaging you because i have a rare and embarrassing request that requires someone with your expert knowledge and open mindedness

i am trying to find someone who will help me in making a penile subincision on myself , it would require me been tied so i couldnt get out of it and a cut been made just like the picture on my profile or the one below


http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Penile_subincision#mediaviewer/File:Meatotomy.JPG

i know it is not an everyday thing to ask and would be willing to pay the right price for the service and also would be willing to sign a disclaimer , please dont judge me and let me know either way if you can help or not

one girl said she can do it for ?900 , if you can do it cheaper

if you need to talk to me my skype name is pickster1
he has red notes against his name wonder why lol !!! its a no from me

OMG.........I also got that one Exotic Flower!  Last week. urgh!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 30 December 2014, 02:04:24 pm
Quote from: foxylady on 30 December 2014, 01:31:59 pm
Ladies,

I've just received this message on aw:
...
Re: Love your profile

Hello,
I am a tall, well groomed, smart, polite, generous and good looking 45 year old.
I am currently looking for a new lady in my life. The lucky lady will be extremely well looked after and handsomely rewarded but will certailnly earn her keep.
Your requirements (on your profile) will be more than met but you will have to be good!
If you are interested, please contact me and we can arrange an initial meeting.
...

Have replied I am happy to meet but will charge for it.

Not sure if it's for real or not, has anyone had similar?

Thanks.

Foxy x
So he's looking for a submissive wife?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 30 December 2014, 05:26:37 pm
This one is special - via a classifieds site I advertise on:

"I'm a sixteen old lad living in (town). I'm a virgin but I would like to lose it before my first time with a girl so I know what I am doing. Are you available to this?"

When I said I would not meet someone under 18 I got this:

"I am 18, the 16 was a typo!!! I was born on the 16/12/96, trust me."

OK, sure you mistyped 'sixteen' when you meant to type 'eighteen' - pull the other one!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 30 December 2014, 07:59:00 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 30 December 2014, 05:26:37 pm
This one is special - via a classifieds site I advertise on:

"I'm a sixteen old lad living in (town). I'm a virgin but I would like to lose it before my first time with a girl so I know what I am doing. Are you available to this?"

When I said I would not meet someone under 18 I got this:

"I am 18, the 16 was a typo!!! I was born on the 16/12/96, trust me."

OK, sure you mistyped 'sixteen' when you meant to type 'eighteen' - pull the other one!!

He wants to have sex with YOU before having it with a GIRL. What does he think you are? LOL
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 31 December 2014, 12:40:51 am
Perhaps I'm not being clear enough, but what part of "no services without condoms" don't people understand? I won't touch a penis that isn't wearing a condom, so subsequently, no I will not let you cum on my tits and much less film it! ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 31 December 2014, 12:57:17 am
Quote from: victoryrose on 31 December 2014, 12:40:51 am
Perhaps I'm not being clear enough, but what part of "no services without condoms" don't people understand? I won't touch a penis that isn't wearing a condom, so subsequently, no I will not let you cum on my tits and much less film it! ::)

To be honest, I wouldn't expect "no services without condoms" to include things like that. I would assume it meant no penetrative services without condoms.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 31 December 2014, 12:01:57 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 31 December 2014, 12:57:17 am
Quote from: victoryrose on 31 December 2014, 12:40:51 am
Perhaps I'm not being clear enough, but what part of "no services without condoms" don't people understand? I won't touch a penis that isn't wearing a condom, so subsequently, no I will not let you cum on my tits and much less film it! ::)

To be honest, I wouldn't expect "no services without condoms" to include things like that. I would assume it meant no penetrative services without condoms.

Doesn't "services" cover stuff like hand relief? I don't want my profile to be a list like "- No ejaculating on me - No touching your penis before it's under a condom" etc. I'm not sure how else to phrase it, if I don't allow bareback or CIM, why would I allow C-anywhere-else? They at least shouldn't assume I do, and this is mainly what freaks me out - that I need a full on description of what's going to happen before I take a booking because I'm so paranoid they haven't grasped what I do and don't do.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 31 December 2014, 12:18:36 pm
Quote from: victoryrose on 31 December 2014, 12:01:57 pm
Doesn't "services" cover stuff like hand relief? I don't want my profile to be a list like "- No ejaculating on me - No touching your penis before it's under a condom" etc. I'm not sure how else to phrase it, if I don't allow bareback or CIM, why would I allow C-anywhere-else? They at least shouldn't assume I do, and this is mainly what freaks me out - that I need a full on description of what's going to happen before I take a booking because I'm so paranoid they haven't grasped what I do and don't do.

It does, but it's very unusual to literally not allow a penis anywhere near you (including hand-to-genital contact) without a condom on - most people would read it as Fabulassie has posted above.

The STI risk from semen making contact with the surface of your skin as opposed to mucous membranes like the inside of your mouth or genitals is so infinitessimal that it's a fair assumption to make for most people and if this is what you mean, I think you will need to spell it out clearly. Doing this without it sounding like you find strangers' penises so revolting you can't bear to touch them is going to be a task and a half, too since the disease argument doesn't fly here :-\.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 31 December 2014, 12:40:25 pm
VR, I concur with Amy and Fabulassie. Most clients assume covering is required for anything risky, i.e. penetration and possibly oral. For hand relief, tit wank etc. I suspect they'd think it was very bizarre if you insisted on using a condom for those things too.

As for coming on you, you just need to be clear as to if you allow it, and if so where - many of us say below the neck only and nowhere potentially 'dangerous' (i.e. between the legs), but then facials are also obviously popular. Many men understand why we don't offer CIM, but as Amy said, not allowing come anywhere or not even touching a naked penis is quite unusual.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 31 December 2014, 12:59:15 pm
The only reason I won't allow cum anywhere is because there's nothing to say they won't "shake" it so that it "accidentally" gets into my mouth which I've had happen in my personal life before with overzealous boys. Especially with titwanking where it can so easily shoot into your mouth. I'm not trying to argue that touching a penis could cause an STI, I'm saying that I have a lot less control over where the semen ends up if I allow them to get close to cumming without a condom on. The idea makes me uncomfortable as I already feel I have very little control over what happens during bookings, being outcalls-only doesn't help.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 31 December 2014, 08:28:25 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 31 December 2014, 12:57:17 am
Quote from: victoryrose on 31 December 2014, 12:40:51 am
Perhaps I'm not being clear enough, but what part of "no services without condoms" don't people understand? I won't touch a penis that isn't wearing a condom, so subsequently, no I will not let you cum on my tits and much less film it! ::)

To be honest, I wouldn't expect "no services without condoms" to include things like that. I would assume it meant no penetrative services without condoms.

I agree, services would refer to sex oral/vaginal/anal
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 31 December 2014, 08:31:41 pm
Quote from: victoryrose on 31 December 2014, 12:59:15 pm
The only reason I won't allow cum anywhere is because there's nothing to say they won't "shake" it so that it "accidentally" gets into my mouth which I've had happen in my personal life before with overzealous boys. Especially with titwanking where it can so easily shoot into your mouth. I'm not trying to argue that touching a penis could cause an STI, I'm saying that I have a lot less control over where the semen ends up if I allow them to get close to cumming without a condom on. The idea makes me uncomfortable as I already feel I have very little control over what happens during bookings, being outcalls-only doesn't help.

Why don't you hold their penis then, surely they'd be happier to let you wank them off on your boobs than do it themselves inside a condom
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 31 December 2014, 10:48:45 pm
Quote from: TheLittleMatchGirl on 31 December 2014, 08:31:41 pm
Quote from: victoryrose on 31 December 2014, 12:59:15 pm
The only reason I won't allow cum anywhere is because there's nothing to say they won't "shake" it so that it "accidentally" gets into my mouth which I've had happen in my personal life before with overzealous boys. Especially with titwanking where it can so easily shoot into your mouth. I'm not trying to argue that touching a penis could cause an STI, I'm saying that I have a lot less control over where the semen ends up if I allow them to get close to cumming without a condom on. The idea makes me uncomfortable as I already feel I have very little control over what happens during bookings, being outcalls-only doesn't help.

Why don't you hold their penis then, surely they'd be happier to let you wank them off on your boobs than do it themselves inside a condom

I'd be okay with that! I don't get these requests often enough to mention it in my profile and honestly the way this guy worded his message made it obvious he didn't read said profile which is why my initial post was so exasperated. None of my clients have had a single issue with the condoms for everything rule, and I talk with them on the phone anyway so if this was an issue it would come up. I did have one a bit surprised that I wouldn't give him a handjob without one, I explained it was in case I made contact with precum (or if he came early) and then touched one of my mucous membranes before forgetting to wipe it off (stuff like that happens all the time) and was just honest and said it's nothing personal, I'm just very paranoid about health risks. He didn't have a problem after that and said he felt relieved because paranoid is better than lax.

If I start to do stuff that's going to make me worry (I already have diagnosed anxiety and depression), I'm just going to drive myself even crazier. This is not my full-time occupation and with my student loan on the way I don't have to worry about losing clients here and there because I'm so strict. I have a lot of hurdles in my screening process as well that has freaked many out, and I don't blame them as I see where they're coming from, but no amount of money will be enough to drive me up the wall with further anxiety. That's just how I see it. It's not the best business strategy, sure, but it'll keep me sane.

Anyway I just wanted to clear my way of thinking up in case I came off as snobby, it's about health more than anything and my various paranoias about this job. Sorry about hijacking the thread!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 31 December 2014, 11:54:15 pm
Ah I see what you're saying, I know how sometimes you can't control certain anxieties even if you try. That's fair enough if you're happy nothing else matters
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foxylady on 01 January 2015, 01:42:00 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 30 December 2014, 02:04:24 pm
Quote from: foxylady on 30 December 2014, 01:31:59 pm
Ladies,

I've just received this message on aw:
...
Re: Love your profile

Hello,
I am a tall, well groomed, smart, polite, generous and good looking 45 year old.
I am currently looking for a new lady in my life. The lucky lady will be extremely well looked after and handsomely rewarded but will certailnly earn her keep.
Your requirements (on your profile) will be more than met but you will have to be good!
If you are interested, please contact me and we can arrange an initial meeting.
...

Have replied I am happy to meet but will charge for it.

Not sure if it's for real or not, has anyone had similar?

Thanks.

Foxy x
So he's looking for a submissive wife?

Good point RedKB, on further discussion, it seems he is looking for a p/t sub! x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 01 January 2015, 02:32:49 pm
not had my phone on this last couple of days, and only just turned it on to received a cracking wee text...


HNY ho, free??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 02 January 2015, 07:32:38 am
Email received today.

I would love to meet you I am a mature well educated mail.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 02 January 2015, 11:21:19 am
This morning "Will you piss in my mouth and how much?" Told him to hold his mouth under a running warm water tap it would be cheaper.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foxylady on 04 January 2015, 05:18:05 pm
I just had...............

"can I have a cheap blow job"

I replied "erm..........what do you think?!!"

honestly!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rubyruby on 04 January 2015, 11:22:27 pm
Quote from: victoryrose on 31 December 2014, 12:59:15 pm
The only reason I won't allow cum anywhere is because there's nothing to say they won't "shake" it so that it "accidentally" gets into my mouth which I've had happen in my personal life before with overzealous boys. Especially with titwanking where it can so easily shoot into your mouth. I'm not trying to argue that touching a penis could cause an STI, I'm saying that I have a lot less control over where the semen ends up if I allow them to get close to cumming without a condom on. The idea makes me uncomfortable as I already feel I have very little control over what happens during bookings, being outcalls-only doesn't help.

If  I'm feeling paranoid about a guy cumming near my face or bits I just move my hand in the way or adjust my body.

Are you sure escorting is for you,? It seems like it's causing you more  hassle than it's worth.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 05 January 2015, 09:31:26 am
I got called unfriendly by some guy on AW because I told him my availability was on my profile when he asked what my availability was like this week.

I can't imagine it's any big loss. He has 0 feedback and his profile dates back to 2012...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 05 January 2015, 09:37:36 am
Quote from: Red KB on 05 January 2015, 09:31:26 am
I got called unfriendly by some guy on AW because I told him my availability was on my profile when he asked what my availability was like this week.

I can't imagine it's any big loss. He has 0 feedback and his profile dates back to 2012...

I can understand a guy CALLING and asking such questions (the mobile site just shows a photo and a number) but emailing via AW? No excuse!

I did have a guy the other day who laughingly admitted that he'd not gone any further than the phone number and I joked "but you missed a lot of really important stuff! Like how big my dick is!" He was a nice guy and we had fun. But it did confirm that they won't read!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 05 January 2015, 10:43:48 am
The mobile site has tabs on it they can click to get all the info. It isn't rocket science to use it so it doesn't just show the number and picture. If anything they have to click on your contact details to get the number or email you off there so why they can't click on the other tabs that show details is beyond me.
I had a similar sort of email that listed things he wanted to try including things I dont offer I politely emailed him back and asked him to have a read of my profile and he emailed back being very snotty telling me there were so many girls on there and he didn't have time to read profiles...but time to arse about sending copy and paste jobs to half the girls in Yorkshire wasting their time.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 05 January 2015, 11:18:41 am
Quote from: bibi on 05 January 2015, 10:43:48 am
I had a similar sort of email that listed things he wanted to try including things I dont offer I politely emailed him back and asked him to have a read of my profile and he emailed back being very snotty telling me there were so many girls on there and he didn't have time to read profiles...but time to arse about sending copy and paste jobs to half the girls in Yorkshire wasting their time.
Doesn't have time to read profiles, but does have time to read responses to his copy and paste email!

Also, pretty sure you can search to see who offers certain services.

Might just start copying and pasting my profile to emails like that!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 05 January 2015, 11:24:01 am
Yep and his profile was created the day before so I was actually trying to help him get the most from the site and helping him avoid wasting his own time and getting branded a time waster.You can't help some people at all so bugger him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 05 January 2015, 03:07:04 pm
Quote from: bibi on 05 January 2015, 11:24:01 am
Yep and his profile was created the day before so I was actually trying to help him get the most from the site and helping him avoid wasting his own time and getting branded a time waster.You can't help some people at all so bugger him.
you've got the patience of an angel with these men 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foreign affairs on 06 January 2015, 12:18:23 pm
I see you offer everything I would want in the service section but I still have some questions as I want things with a twist usually :)

1. do you offer outcall?
2. I am mostley interested in Handjob, do you give very long handjobs? like 1h and during that time I also like very much to finger the girl

3. I like to engage in different ways to give a facial to girls so I wonder if it is possible to give several facials?
I would like for example that you would play with my cock  and suck it but with condom on while I watch porno with facial complications.
Then when I am about to cum I would take of condom and cum on your face.

Then again continue with another session like that I would jerk off over you face while seeing you near my cock and balls.

Also like to cum in mouth by you have your mouth open.

So basically I would like 2-3h session at my hotel with this kind of things in mind.

Is this possible?



[Potentially identifying information removed]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 06 January 2015, 01:29:25 pm
Edit: I don't even want to bother, I'm sick of having to justify what I'm comfortable with.

I just read a post on here saying most girls don't allow fingering, and yet somehow it's hard to understand why I wouldn't want clients to ejaculate on me. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 06 January 2015, 02:56:02 pm
photo sent as text of hard cock  ::)
am I supposed to be flattered?, no I want a client to turn up and hand over the fee then show me their hard cock in real life !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 06 January 2015, 05:44:54 pm
Quote from: Exotic flower on 06 January 2015, 02:56:02 pm
photo sent as text of hard cock  ::)
am I supposed to be flattered?, no I want a client to turn up and hand over the fee then show me their hard cock in real life !

Hahaha, I just posted the exact same thing in "things clients do to annoy" thread this morning!!
I had this guy for ages, sending me photo's of his 9" cock and 'I could have it in my hand at 11am'..  Lucky me  ::)

Just had another one, one of my FAQ's is " Do you do anal?, NO, SORRY"
This guy just phoned wanting to book for an hour, then asked do I take toys up my bum, do I do rimming, licking etc.
I said, no, I don't do anything to do with anal, sorry..
Him; "You don't do much then do you.."  ::)
Me; "yes I do plenty, but check my profile first and get back to me.."
Needless to say I didn't hear back.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 06 January 2015, 05:59:32 pm
Sorry for posting again, but oh my god the weirdo's are out in force tonight!!!
Won't even go into details, I'm turning my phone off and double-locking the door lol
Brrrr....  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 06 January 2015, 06:16:33 pm
Quote from: foreign affairs on 06 January 2015, 12:18:23 pm
I see you offer everything I would want in the service section but I still have some questions as I want things with a twist usually :)

1. do you offer outcall?
2. I am mostley interested in Handjob, do you give very long handjobs? like 1h and during that time I also like very much to finger the girl

3. I like to engage in different ways to give a facial to girls so I wonder if it is possible to give several facials?
I would like for example that you would play with my cock  and suck it but with condom on while I watch porno with facial complications.
Then when I am about to cum I would take of condom and cum on your face.

Then again continue with another session like that I would jerk off over you face while seeing you near my cock and balls.

Also like to cum in mouth by you have your mouth open.

So basically I would like 2-3h session at my hotel with this kind of things in mind.

Is this possible?



[Potentially identifying information removed]

Several hours of wanking him off and being fingered? Hell no! That would get so boring so quickly.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 06 January 2015, 06:17:28 pm
"Would you be OK with lifting and carrying me? I'm 14 stone."

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 06 January 2015, 06:28:48 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 06 January 2015, 06:17:28 pm
"Would you be OK with lifting and carrying me? I'm 14 stone."

 ::)
Oh he does the rounds!I believe he is genuine my friend has seen him but why anyone would want to risk putting their back out for this particular fetish is beyond me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 07 January 2015, 08:34:06 am
Adult work email titled "Wolfman"

"Hello. I just got released a few days ago and this has been my first time with a woman in a few years. When would you be available for some relief?

P.S. Can you guarantee discretion? As I am well known in the press in relation to Northern Ireland


Robert Howard"

Robert Howard is a convicted child killer and rapist jailed for life who calls himself "wolfman"

I thought I'd seen and heard it all? How fucking sick in the head are some people to get off doing shit like this?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amberpeach on 07 January 2015, 11:25:28 am
Let's hear UR worst it funny emails I got one today
Worst

Hey let me fuck your shi- hole here is my number and It had two numbers missing

Hahahs classy  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 07 January 2015, 02:22:05 pm
Quote from: MissKylie on 07 January 2015, 08:34:06 am
Adult work email titled "Wolfman"

"Hello. I just got released a few days ago and this has been my first time with a woman in a few years. When would you be available for some relief?

P.S. Can you guarantee discretion? As I am well known in the press in relation to Northern Ireland


Robert Howard"

Robert Howard is a convicted child killer and rapist jailed for life who calls himself "wolfman"

I thought I'd seen and heard it all? How fucking sick in the head are some people to get off doing shit like this?!

I actually feel a bit sick! Robert Howard may be behind bars but there's sick people who like to give escorts a scare - like because we're prostitutes we're not people and suddenly it's okay to frighten young women! People like this are why I only do incalls now, so I can hide emergency phones etc in my apartment in case a client ever turned dangerous.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 07 January 2015, 04:20:59 pm
Quote from: chloe_ on 07 January 2015, 02:22:05 pm
Quote from: MissKylie on 07 January 2015, 08:34:06 am
Adult work email titled "Wolfman"

"Hello. I just got released a few days ago and this has been my first time with a woman in a few years. When would you be available for some relief?

P.S. Can you guarantee discretion? As I am well known in the press in relation to Northern Ireland


Robert Howard"

Robert Howard is a convicted child killer and rapist jailed for life who calls himself "wolfman"

I thought I'd seen and heard it all? How fucking sick in the head are some people to get off doing shit like this?!

I actually feel a bit sick! Robert Howard may be behind bars but there's sick people who like to give escorts a scare - like because we're prostitutes we're not people and suddenly it's okay to frighten young women! People like this are why I only do incalls now, so I can hide emergency phones etc in my apartment in case a client ever turned dangerous.

He's probably not doing it to frighten someone per se, it might just be how he gets his jollies, wanking off to the abusive replies he receives in return. IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE, then you are giving him nothing to 'work' with ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mistress-Devon on 08 January 2015, 05:05:01 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 06 January 2015, 06:17:28 pm
"Would you be OK with lifting and carrying me? I'm 14 stone."

 ::)

Hes lovely, I love him :)

A bit like macraphilia/adult baby me thinks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sexylexi on 09 January 2015, 02:23:40 am
I have another one:
Clients who remind you to shower before they arrive, then when they arrive smell of BO and claim they have just showered so don't need one..the cheek!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 09 January 2015, 12:52:14 pm
Quote from: sexylexi on 09 January 2015, 02:23:40 am
I have another one:
Clients who remind you to shower before they arrive, then when they arrive smell of BO and claim they have just showered so don't need one..the cheek!

Some guys simply smell. They will come out of the shower still smelling (only now steamed up.) I hate when that happens.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 09 January 2015, 01:34:41 pm
Yep seen enough blokes who stand there and just splash water on themselves.I'm afraid I'd be quite offended if someone reminded me to shower and they would not be getting a booking.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 09 January 2015, 07:52:17 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 09 January 2015, 12:52:14 pm
Quote from: sexylexi on 09 January 2015, 02:23:40 am
I have another one:
Clients who remind you to shower before they arrive, then when they arrive smell of BO and claim they have just showered so don't need one..the cheek!

Some guys simply smell. They will come out of the shower still smelling (only now steamed up.) I hate when that happens.
+1!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 10 January 2015, 01:19:58 am
Text convo:

Him: Is that Kay?
Me: Yes. And URL of my website
Him: Can you tell me what you would and wouldn't do?
Me: It's on all my website
Him: Wouldn't you rather text?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 10 January 2015, 09:42:28 am
I hate being asked if there's anything I don't do. I'm like, the list of things I cannot and will not do is literally infinite. Can't fly, levitate, bench press a lorry, speak Farsi, play the ukelele...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DustedWithSugar on 10 January 2015, 12:52:48 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 10 January 2015, 09:42:28 am
I hate being asked if there's anything I don't do. I'm like, the list of things I cannot and will not do is literally infinite. Can't fly, levitate, bench press a lorry, speak Farsi, play the ukelele...
hahahhahahahahaha you cracked me  ;D

I don't like answering this same questions for hundredth time. Where I am from, how long I live here, do I REALLY like this job (is it that weird?  ::))? I know it's all small talk but it's so tiresome!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 10 January 2015, 05:01:25 pm
Just been catching up on this thread after ages! And lo and behold I get a stupid call so thought I'd share:

Him: Do you do massage? (I HATE it when they can't even say hello first so was irritated)
Me: Yes I do.
Him: What kind of massage?
Me: Well, um a sensual massage...
Him: What other sort?
Me: What other sort of massage?
Him: Yes.
Me: Um, do you mean other services?
Him: Yes, do you do blow jobs?
Me: Yes, of course I am an escort!
Him: OK, so where are you from?
Me: I'm based in Hounslow
Him: No I mean where are you from?
Me: I'm in Hounslow! (OK, I am pretending not to understand, what does it matter where I am from)
Him: No, what nationality are you? (HOW COULD HE NOT TELL FROM MY VERY ENGLISH ACCENT?!)
Me: English
Him: Are the photos on your website you? (He has seen my website but needs to ask all the stupid questions?)
Me: Of course they are!
Him: How much is it?
Me: Didn't you see from my website? (increasingly snotty with him now)
Him: Can I have an appointment or what?
Me: No (Hangs up)



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 11 January 2015, 09:45:12 am
Quote from: MinxyLydia on 10 January 2015, 05:01:25 pm
Just been catching up on this thread after ages! And lo and behold I get a stupid call so thought I'd share:

Him: Do you do massage? (I HATE it when they can't even say hello first so was irritated)
Me: Yes I do.
Him: What kind of massage?
Me: Well, um a sensual massage...
Him: What other sort?
Me: What other sort of massage?
Him: Yes.
Me: Um, do you mean other services?
Him: Yes, do you do blow jobs?
Me: Yes, of course I am an escort!
Him: OK, so where are you from?
Me: I'm based in Hounslow
Him: No I mean where are you from?
Me: I'm in Hounslow! (OK, I am pretending not to understand, what does it matter where I am from)
Him: No, what nationality are you? (HOW COULD HE NOT TELL FROM MY VERY ENGLISH ACCENT?!)
Me: English
Him: Are the photos on your website you? (He has seen my website but needs to ask all the stupid questions?)
Me: Of course they are!
Him: How much is it?
Me: Didn't you see from my website? (increasingly snotty with him now)
Him: Can I have an appointment or what?
Me: No (Hangs up)
He wouldn't of even got past "Do you do massage" with me. I really hate it when they ask that, sounds like they think I'm working in some kind of brothel establishment!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sourgrapes on 11 January 2015, 11:09:32 am
He wouldn't of even got past "Do you do massage" with me. I really hate it when they ask that, sounds like they think I'm working in some kind of brothel establishment!!
[/quote]

Some guys just don't quite know how to initiate a conversation about our services, some really like a bit of a back rub to help them relax, and others mean "hand relief" when they say massage. A brief massage and some friendly touch are a wonderful thing - I don't know why you would feel that casts aspersions on your character somehow. Also, there's nothing wrong with working in a parlour or massage establishment. I never feel insulted by that question - much preferable to "awight? do you do anal, darling?" Each to their own....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 11 January 2015, 12:20:45 pm
When they say do you do massage I say is it just massage you wanted? They might say no more than that. They need to specify because yes some just want massage and HR (very few) and are looking for it cheaper which I don't do, most mean massage as in full service. I have my doubts with those calls but don't always write them off (depending on tone as with all other calls). It doesn't often lead to a booking though. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 11 January 2015, 12:35:33 pm
I just say, "Sure, I can do massage as part of your booking if you like." I mean, of course I can. I'm not terrible at it, either. But I don't offer a "just massage with hand relief" service for those looking for a reduced rate.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Treetop on 11 January 2015, 03:12:50 pm
Got this time waster (at least I hope he's a time waster for the brides sake!) few min ago. I'm just cringing reading this. I mean ewwwwwww! What a fantasist  creepazoid.  BLOCKED! 



Well the 16th is my wedding

Thrill fantasy naughty n wrong yes but love a buzz and know it's crazy but if your game?

Come to the wedding!!

My mate will pretend your his new gf etc so be with him but.... We (me and my mate pick you up) I'll fuck you in the car on way to the church...

You come to reception after with my mate... Fun and fuck you again at reception 

And finally we slip off to the wedding bedroom suite and go again!!!

Fucking and sitting on the grooms huge fat ten inch black cock as the brides downstairs!!!

Then end if night say goodbye to the bride etc but with my cum deep in your pussy and soaking your thong!!

Wrong crazy I know but I'm asking and willing to pay etc if your game?? Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 11 January 2015, 03:17:40 pm
Ask him what the catering is like.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Treetop on 11 January 2015, 03:28:45 pm
Yeah maybe I should go if it's fancy with canap?s! Lol. Could do with getting out the house... imaginary canap?s and champagne, imaginary pretty dresses, and an imaginary 10inch cock at an imaginary wedding sounds a good deal now I think about it..... lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 11 January 2015, 04:08:16 pm
Quote from: thehappyhooker on 11 January 2015, 03:28:45 pm
Yeah maybe I should go if it's fancy with canap?s! Lol. Could do with getting out the house... imaginary canap?s and champagne, imaginary pretty dresses, and an imaginary 10inch cock at an imaginary wedding sounds a good deal now I think about it..... lol.

You mean an imaginary 10" black cock. Although the imaginary ones are almost always "black."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 11 January 2015, 04:30:08 pm
Quote from: thehappyhooker on 11 January 2015, 03:12:50 pm
Got this time waster (at least I hope he's a time waster for the brides sake!) few min ago. I'm just cringing reading this. I mean ewwwwwww! What a fantasist  creepazoid.  BLOCKED! 



Well the 16th is my wedding

Thrill fantasy naughty n wrong yes but love a buzz and know it's crazy but if your game?

Come to the wedding!!

My mate will pretend your his new gf etc so be with him but.... We (me and my mate pick you up) I'll fuck you in the car on way to the church...

You come to reception after with my mate... Fun and fuck you again at reception

And finally we slip off to the wedding bedroom suite and go again!!!

Fucking and sitting on the grooms huge fat ten inch black cock as the brides downstairs!!!

Then end if night say goodbye to the bride etc but with my cum deep in your pussy and soaking your thong!!

Wrong crazy I know but I'm asking and willing to pay etc if your game?? Xx
I've had this one today. Funnily enough I didn't reply...

He's got a photo on his profile. Doesn't look 10 inches to me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 11 January 2015, 04:55:56 pm
I'm always tempted to say to these blokes: "I think you meant to say centimetres, not inches?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 11 January 2015, 06:59:40 pm
Quote from: sourgrapes on 11 January 2015, 11:09:32 am
He wouldn't of even got past "Do you do massage" with me. I really hate it when they ask that, sounds like they think I'm working in some kind of brothel establishment!!

Quote
Some guys just don't quite know how to initiate a conversation about our services, some really like a bit of a back rub to help them relax, and others mean "hand relief" when they say massage. A brief massage and some friendly touch are a wonderful thing - I don't know why you would feel that casts aspersions on your character somehow. Also, there's nothing wrong with working in a parlour or massage establishment. I never feel insulted by that question - much preferable to "awight? do you do anal, darling?" Each to their own....
It's nothing to do with the actual "massage" side of things. I am now a qualified beauty therapist, on my third year! I love giving my clients massages. I offer a full GFE :)

The problem I have is, that they clearly haven't read anything when asking that (It says so clearly I love giving massage as well as my other services) They haven't addressed me by my name most importantly, and it's not that I have an issue with people who work in a brothel or "massage parlour" work, it's just I would never work in one. The question "Do you do massage?" is what I personally associate with that kind of work, and I don't want to be seen as that, as its not what I am. I want to be seen as what I am, a independent sex worker.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 12 January 2015, 10:44:16 am
Quote from: thehappyhooker on 11 January 2015, 03:12:50 pm
Got this time waster (at least I hope he's a time waster for the brides sake!) few min ago. I'm just cringing reading this. I mean ewwwwwww! What a fantasist  creepazoid.  BLOCKED! 



Well the 16th is my wedding

Thrill fantasy naughty n wrong yes but love a buzz and know it's crazy but if your game?

Come to the wedding!!

My mate will pretend your his new gf etc so be with him but.... We (me and my mate pick you up) I'll fuck you in the car on way to the church...

You come to reception after with my mate... Fun and fuck you again at reception

And finally we slip off to the wedding bedroom suite and go again!!!

Fucking and sitting on the grooms huge fat ten inch black cock as the brides downstairs!!!

Then end if night say goodbye to the bride etc but with my cum deep in your pussy and soaking your thong!!

Wrong crazy I know but I'm asking and willing to pay etc if your game?? Xx

WHAT a fantasist!
Can you imagine if (by some billion to one chance) it was genuine though? At the "if anyone knows of any lawful reason that these two may not be Wed, speak now or forever hold your piece..." part? Would be interesting if you stood up and announced "I'm a hooker the grooms hired to fuck through the wedding ceremony"
Just a thought!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Treetop on 12 January 2015, 11:06:43 am
And that is just the sort of thing I would do! Be bizarre if it were true!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 12 January 2015, 01:15:39 pm
Text this morning; "hi ther give me a call x"
Didn't reply..
Next text; "Phone! x"
 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissCurtis on 12 January 2015, 05:37:57 pm
Client who I've seen before asks me if I do parties/gangbangs. I said maybe, depending on the details. He says it would him and some others  at his rugby club. I'd be the only lady, or maybe there would be one other.
  I ask how many guys exactly, he says "twenty."

 :o

Twenty guys and me ( and maybe one other girl.) No thanks.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 12 January 2015, 07:10:07 pm
Hi im your sub can I have a 2 hr booking please
me .so use the adultwork booking system whats your user name?
 err don't know, whats your address ?
do the booking first then ill confirm with you
can you sell me your panties?, can you whip me?,
ill discuss this when you arrive
surprise surprise no booking !! ::)
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: #ANNA# on 13 January 2015, 10:25:28 am
Quote from: Just An Escort on 26 March 2014, 03:44:23 pm
This is a rather random one! Just got this text:

"Hiya hunni.its mistress brooke hampton here.could you help me out with something please xx "

When I Googled the phone number the top result was the Twitter account of a girl called Brooke Hampton who is a US college student as far as I can tell, so not sure how her Twitter has been linked to a UK mobile number.

I also found a result on a page called "The phone book of Howells Travis" where the number is listed as belonging to someone with a distinctly male name who lives in the UK.

Also a Google search for "mistress brooke hampton" bring up a couple of backpage ads of a Mistress Brooke based in the US in a place called Hampton.

No results on Saafe or any of the usual bad client type places, and I don't intend to reply, just wondering if anyone else has encountered this before or knows how searching a UK phone number can get a US person's Twitter as a Google result? If it wasn't for these weird Google results I would have already ignored and moved on after receiving a message from someone clearly hoping to get off on pretending to be another escort (I've been fooled by that one before!).


I had this exact same text yesterday.  I've humoured 'Mistress Brooke' for a few texts but now blocked the number. She has claimed to have got one of her slaves to have a boob job. Lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 13 January 2015, 12:40:45 pm
Probably been mentioned in this very long thread somewhere but...

Blokes who you have what you think is a reasonable text conversation discussing services and times etc.
Then they send a text along the lines of Can you send me your AW nickname cos I can't remember who you are!

Oh charming!

I understand that some guys do contact several women at once to figure out who they want to see, but it just feels a bit insulting.
When they've said You look great, I can't wait to do X, Y or Z with you what they really mean is I can't wait to do X,Y or Z with anyone that'll let me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 13 January 2015, 04:08:30 pm
Not only when they send an AW booking request with no prior contact, but they put it for 4pm today and ask you to ring them after 7.30am tomorrow!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 13 January 2015, 04:47:28 pm
I had a guy requesting me for a stag-do, just me in a hotel with 12 drunk guys.
I don't think so...  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DustedWithSugar on 13 January 2015, 05:06:45 pm
Guy sending me booking request with no prior communication in about half an hour time. Then sending me message with request to call him because he doesn't have money on his phone.
So how on earth can you afford escort??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 13 January 2015, 08:38:08 pm
Text message...Sugi Pula (Suck Dick)

Then straight after...Adresa



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 13 January 2015, 11:34:12 pm
Quote from: MissCurtis on 12 January 2015, 05:37:57 pm
Client who I've seen before asks me if I do parties/gangbangs. I said maybe, depending on the details. He says it would him and some others  at his rugby club. I'd be the only lady, or maybe there would be one other.
  I ask how many guys exactly, he says "twenty."

 :o

Twenty guys and me ( and maybe one other girl.) No thanks.  :FF

Hell no !!

My worst nightmare..Too easy for things to go very wrong.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 14 January 2015, 09:58:58 am
Phone convocation yesterday. Started off proposing
Him: Hello Carmel, do you have any availability
Me: yes I have four o'clock.
Him: yes I can make that,
This may seem a little rude but I would like to ask, do you do anything without?
Me: I may do OW at my discretion
Him: anything else?
Me: ( fully aware if what's coming next) what did you have in mind?
Him: I am prepared to offer a lot more money if you will do penetration without protection.
Me: click.


Last night text message
Him: amazing xx
Him: body's amazing xx
Me: thank you
Him: no way your older than my mum, your fit.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissCurtis on 14 January 2015, 10:58:33 pm
Quote from: KinkyVixen on 13 January 2015, 11:34:12 pm
Quote from: MissCurtis on 12 January 2015, 05:37:57 pm
Client who I've seen before asks me if I do parties/gangbangs. I said maybe, depending on the details. He says it would him and some others  at his rugby club. I'd be the only lady, or maybe there would be one other.
  I ask how many guys exactly, he says "twenty."

 :o

Twenty guys and me ( and maybe one other girl.) No thanks.  :FF

Hell no !!

My worst nightmare..Too easy for things to go very wrong.

Absolutely. I wouldn't even do a party with ten guys to be honest.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 15 January 2015, 12:46:51 pm
I really do despair sometimes.
1st call:Will you do phone sex if I send you some money first?
Me:Would it not be easier to ring a phone sex line?
2nd call:Is this Bibi?I'm in London.
Me:Yes it's Bibi and I'm in Leeds.
Him:Oh well I didn't read anything I just liked your face.
Me:So you completely missed 'BibiLeeds' or did you just phone to waste my time?
Him:Well I was wondering what escorts do.
Me:So ring a London based escort and ask her!Prat!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 15 January 2015, 05:08:33 pm
Text today

Would you do two guys without a condom..


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guava on 16 January 2015, 05:46:36 am

Text message: 'I have not had sex in 8 years and have never seen an escort before.  I have an 11" cock.  Would you like to see a pic of my stiffy?'

Photo sent - whether I would like to see it or not.  BOR-ING.   ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 16 January 2015, 11:41:46 am
Got this fairly normal text this morning:

"Good morning, can I please see you tomorrow. Morning at 10am for an hour booking

John "

I replied with availability etc and just as my text went out I got this from the same number:

"Good morning [a name that is not my name],

I came across your profile.in searching for escorts in [Town over 120 miles from me] on adultwork. I wanted to ask if I could.arrange an advance booking to see you tomorrow morning. My name is Ripley "

and then:

"Sorry sent text to you in error"

So John/Ripley is messaging different escorts over 100 miles from each other for a booking at the same time. I haven't replied again but I don't think I'll be ever taking a booking from this person!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: River on 16 January 2015, 12:43:12 pm
This morning....
Obviously January is "HIV-sharing-month"
though I missed the announcements on the telly:

Bug-eyed-boy Reverse booking
Hey I have a reverse booking placed for tonight and wondered if you were interested?
It's for ?350 for an hour and a half but with certain conditions.

River Your ad says "bb".
Do you mean anal bareback? {I'm a Pre-Op Ts, so no vagina obviously}
What do you think about this video?  I'm really curious...
{- I sent a Link to youtube 1986 AIDS iceberg ad}

Bug-eyed-boy Yeah that's why I was willing to pay more.
It's something I have never done but really want to try.
   
River Freddie Mercury said those exact words, to me,
the day before he died of AIDS.
What's your favourite track by Queen?
Mines "Flash" - the theme song of the 1980 film
Flash Gordon. I love the inserted dialogue from
the movie where Brian Blessed's character exclaims:
"Gordon's alive?!"
"Bohemian Rhapsody" is a close second.
If you die of AIDS, can I have your HiFi?

Bug-eyed-boy Ok point taken. Basically it's a no then.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 16 January 2015, 01:04:44 pm
Unbelievable. I got my first outright BB request yesterday - mind-boggling.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 16 January 2015, 06:00:43 pm
 I would love the opportunity to meet you, I have a little gift which is I do stay hard after cumming and my nipples have a direct line to my penis. When would it be convenient to set up a meet with you ? I do hope to hear from you soon.

Love and best wishes
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 17 January 2015, 12:10:26 am
Quote from: Exotic flower on 16 January 2015, 06:00:43 pm
I would love the opportunity to meet you, I have a little gift which is I do stay hard after cumming and my nipples have a direct line to my penis. When would it be convenient to set up a meet with you ? I do hope to hear from you soon.

Love and best wishes

Oh, great! so he can keep fucking until the condom full of lube comes off inside you!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss-M on 17 January 2015, 01:59:37 pm
First ever email or contact from this one;

" can I rim your bum hole please today if possible? "
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 17 January 2015, 06:42:03 pm
This one via email... actually had a good laugh from this:

"hi there i seen you on adultwork website and was wondering if you could help im just looking for oral thats it but i have a problem will you consider doing it outdoors in  a wood as nobody will see me down there and its quick place for me to go as i live near them if the whether  is a problem will you do it when its nicer thanks"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mistress-Devon on 18 January 2015, 11:32:49 am
Got this text today

"Are your really 29? How old are you really? You look much older on Adultwork"

What's the aim here? To be dam rude or is it a genuine question?

I'm usually greeted in the morning with "Good morning goddess/mistress/my queen, have a lovely day.."

Imagine my horror.. So im gonna call him repeatedly to pee him off till his wife or girlfriend wonders who keeps calling.. HA don't piss off a domme

How do you lovely ladies tend to react to stuff like this?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 18 January 2015, 11:40:55 am
Quote from: Mistress-Devon on 18 January 2015, 11:32:49 am
Got this text today

"Are your really 29? How old are you really? You look much older on Adultwork"

What's the aim here? To be dam rude or is it a genuine question?

I'm usually greeted in the morning with "Good morning goddess/mistress/my queen, have a lovely day.."

Imagine my horror.. So im gonna call him repeatedly to pee him off till his wife or girlfriend wonders who keeps calling.. HA don't piss off a domme

How do you lovely ladies tend to react to stuff like this?

I ignore it, as I assume that they are looking to upset me. I don't give them that satisfaction - I don't get paid to fight over emails or texts.

And I don't think harassing them over the phone is a good idea. You could be pissing off a murderous nutter.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 18 January 2015, 11:42:10 am
Quote from: Mistress-Devon on 18 January 2015, 11:32:49 am


Imagine my horror.. So im gonna call him repeatedly to pee him off till his wife or girlfriend wonders who keeps calling.. HA don't piss off a domme

How do you lovely ladies tend to react to stuff like this?

This can open Pandora box.. He can do the same to you, my advice is not to call him at all, just block and ignore :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mistress-Devon on 18 January 2015, 04:23:56 pm
Lol I'm chilled now... Hit the block button, didn't harass (I think I'm the murderous one more then he is hehe)

Too true, we don't get paid to fight over text and emails... Too True

Loves to all x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 18 January 2015, 08:11:02 pm

I always envy one direction. Harry styles.
I can imagin there will be women wanting to
Restrain him and pleasure every inch of his sexy body.
Hear him moan with pleasure . Make him explode.
Probably a few women at once doing sexy things
To his restrained body.
I would like to watch it all. I would LOVE to see
Harry styles made to orgasm.
David.

 Well this gem was emailed to me today, i don't know what else to say?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 18 January 2015, 08:15:03 pm
Quote from: Mistress-Devon on 18 January 2015, 11:32:49 am
Got this text today

"Are your really 29? How old are you really? You look much older on Adultwork"

What's the aim here? To be dam rude or is it a genuine question?

I'm usually greeted in the morning with "Good morning goddess/mistress/my queen, have a lovely day.."

Imagine my horror.. So im gonna call him repeatedly to pee him off till his wife or girlfriend wonders who keeps calling.. HA don't piss off a domme

How do you lovely ladies tend to react to stuff like this?
My advice is ignore, Domme or not, guys like this don't deserve your time x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 18 January 2015, 10:03:54 pm
nia, i have a friend who is the double of harry styles... jussayin hahaha

to ruin your mad emailers fantasy however, the lad is actually gay (my mate... no idea about HS)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 19 January 2015, 11:05:57 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 18 January 2015, 08:11:02 pm

I always envy one direction. Harry styles.
I can imagin there will be women wanting to
Restrain him and pleasure every inch of his sexy body.
Hear him moan with pleasure . Make him explode.
Probably a few women at once doing sexy things
To his restrained body.
I would like to watch it all. I would LOVE to see
Harry styles made to orgasm.
David.

 Well this gem was emailed to me today, i don't know what else to say?

That's a real head-scratcher for sure!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 21 January 2015, 11:04:50 am
why didn't he email Harry styles instead  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 23 January 2015, 12:29:53 pm
text offering coke from some wanker
he must be desperate to be texting a complete stranger advertising drugs  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 24 January 2015, 01:24:12 am
hiya can u do a ?20 quicky please? just 10 minutes or so  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 24 January 2015, 09:44:52 pm
"Seen your great ad on vivastreet. You do mention to ask for a lower rate!"

I most certainly do not! My ad states not to offend me by asking for a lower rate.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 25 January 2015, 01:11:02 am
Someone I've seen twice texts for appointment.

H: Can I see you Sunday
Me: Yes what time
H:  Anytime
Me: OK 1ish?
H: I can't do then
Me: Well what time then (starting to get irritated as I like minimal texting)
H: After 4
Me: OK see you at 4.30. Confirm on the day.
H: 5 is better
Me: OK then 5. But I'm busy now. Can't keep texting.

Today a text from him.  Is tomorrow still OK
Me: Yes at 5
H: Tomorrow evening?
Me: You said 5 is that still ok
H: Yes I can't do earlier as will be working, Is 5 OK? :FF

I haven't replied. As we know, someone we've seen before can turn weird so I'm 50 50 as to whether it will pan out but if he does text tomorrow I will answer a confirmation text once and that's it. I mean, like my other regs why not text like Hi, can I see you Sunday about 5?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 25 January 2015, 01:23:49 am
Quote from: Mistress-Devon on 18 January 2015, 11:32:49 am
Got this text today

"Are your really 29? How old are you really? You look much older on Adultwork"

What's the aim here? To be dam rude or is it a genuine question?

I'm usually greeted in the morning with "Good morning goddess/mistress/my queen, have a lovely day.."

Imagine my horror.. So im gonna call him repeatedly to pee him off till his wife or girlfriend wonders who keeps calling.. HA don't piss off a domme

How do you lovely ladies tend to react to stuff like this?

I usually ignore but one time someone who booked via AW got to the station and phoned me as requested and when I answered it sounded like he was squeezing a crisp packet. He did this 3 times and that was all I heard from him. So later, I called quite late and it went to voicemail so I did the same with a crisp packet. I did feel better and it wasn't malicious so wasn't worried about comeback. I wouldn't do a malicious text or call though but the few no shows I've had, I've done a couple of silent calls or fart noises a week later from a different phone and withheld number but can't be arsed now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 25 January 2015, 04:18:18 pm
This text pest really got on my nerves.
 texter..lI came to see you before I got 10 mins for ?15.00
 Me..I don't do a 10 min booking and ive never had a low rate for a quickie.
Texter..oh please you will recognise me when I turn up, ive seen you before.
me.. Please don't keep text pestering me I am not giving you the postcode and your not having a booking.
 if your struggling so badly wank yourself for free !
I then had 7 texts saying please and one last one saying sorry.
clearly I am the only escort in the world he couldn't get anyone else at all.
no he couldn't lol  ::)
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 26 January 2015, 09:42:13 pm
Text convo from yesterday, made me giggle so I thought I'd share:

Goon:Hey Claire x Im ***. I saw your profile and wanted to chat about a meet. Get in touch.  M xx

Me:OK, well all info is on my AdultWork profile so I'm not sure I'll be able to tell you much more, but if you have any questions that aren't answered please feel free to text me x

Goon:Im an escort on there too hun. Not looking to pay for a meet. I just wanted to test your bj skills. Also I would love to make you cum with my tongue too if you fancy some fun and a social meet x

Me:LOL! Thanks for the offer but I don't need any "testing" and I have a busy enough social life.

Goon:That wasnt my emphasis. Lol. Not trying to test you. Just thought you might like to meet someone thats not paying you to do it. Xx

Me:Working for free doesn't appeal to me at all, sorry!

Goon:I didnt say work. Im not asking you to work. Or is sex only work to you?

Me:Meeting someone from adultwork to give them a bj is work to me yes. Meeting a total stranger for free is something else, but it's definitely not my style. I'm happy enough with my private life without seeing male "escorts" for free, however you want to word it I'm not tolerant of freebie hunters. Night!

... Apparently God loves a trier. Well someone's gotta!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 26 January 2015, 09:56:18 pm
Wow that's amazing. Is he implying we can't get it for free if we want it? What if you had a boyfriend who was giving you all the banging you wanted?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: alice842 on 26 January 2015, 10:21:04 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 26 January 2015, 09:56:18 pm
Wow that's amazing. Is he implying we can't get it for free if we want it? What if you had a boyfriend who was giving you all the banging you wanted?

Oh some of them really do think that we never get laid outside of work or that there's NO WAY we could have a partner who was okay with what we do ::) I think the last time I got a 'can I take you out on a date and treat you properly'(for free) message was only last week.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 26 January 2015, 10:28:53 pm
I think he was more interested in getting a free bj rather than being a good samaritan and helping me get laid outside of work lol!
Makes me wonder about his "escorting" career or lack of, you'd have thought someone else in the business would know better than to try and get free services. I suspect that he's not having much luck charging for his time, or giving it away for free lol!
Luckily I'm blessed with a boyfriend who is very talented in the bedroom department, but even if I was the sex and socially deprived damsel this eejit seems to think I am the thought of meeting a male escort for free for the privilege of sucking his dick- just doesn't appeal to me at all!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anna Condar on 26 January 2015, 11:19:35 pm
You see, BJC, it's this attitude that's bothering me of late - that some of us should be grateful for their 'attentions'. I forget what the psychological term is for it is (narcissism? Borderline personality disorder? The 'God' complex!?), but I prefer to categorise it under the more general term 'pain in the arse'.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sienna92 on 26 January 2015, 11:49:54 pm
Earlier a man messaged me randomly on Adultwork saying ...Tonight?
And that's it! So rude, is it really that hard to say 'Hi are you available tonight by any chance?' Or something along them lines...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 26 January 2015, 11:51:06 pm
I would of asked him what the hell was the matter with him and why can't he READ the profile?!

Why on earth would he think that anyone would even entertain what he was saying? Absolute stupid idiot!! Makers me SO ANGRY!!!

And why do some think that we all must be raving nymphomaniacs???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 27 January 2015, 12:46:29 am
Oh I get sick of messages like that.Had one last night at 3am the subject line was 'Outcall to Barnsley'.Nothing else.I'm in Leeds...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 27 January 2015, 01:41:31 am
Creepy boundary pusher who's apparently run out of girls to harass closer to him:

Idiot: "hi how are you . seen your add xx"
Me: "Hi, I'm good thanks - did you wish to make a booking?"
Idiot: "im not near you at the minute xx"
Idiot: "do you fancy travelling to [area 150 miles from me] sometime ?x"
Me: [I don't travel that far or tour there]
Idiot: "ps . nice ass xxx"
Idiot: "dont you fancy coming to [city] . .?i could put you  up for a  bit    ?xx"
Me: [told him no again]
Idiot: "dont you fancy a little holiday then babe ?xx"
Idiot: "you could do a weekend here babe xx"
Idiot: "have a think about it babe xx"
Me: [a final attempt to tell him no]
Idiot: "oh ok hun . thank you . you sound lovely babe . please dont say you are single?xx"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 27 January 2015, 12:24:42 pm
Oh I'd have added him to spam numbers as soon as it got to nice ass. I love the spam text thing on my phone so useful!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 27 January 2015, 02:35:07 pm
Him: Hello you free now?
Me: hi sorry I wouldn't be free til 5pm x
Him: Soo it's ok if I come in 30 min??
Me: in 30 mins it will be 3pm not 5pm
Him: ok

..seriously? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 27 January 2015, 02:46:04 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 27 January 2015, 01:41:31 am
Creepy boundary pusher who's apparently run out of girls to harass closer to him:

Idiot: "hi how are you . seen your add xx"
Me: "Hi, I'm good thanks - did you wish to make a booking?"
Idiot: "im not near you at the minute xx"
Idiot: "do you fancy travelling to [area 150 miles from me] sometime ?x"
Me: [I don't travel that far or tour there]
Idiot: "ps . nice ass xxx"
Idiot: "dont you fancy coming to [city] . .?i could put you  up for a  bit    ?xx"
Me: [told him no again]
Idiot: "dont you fancy a little holiday then babe ?xx"
Idiot: "you could do a weekend here babe xx"
Idiot: "have a think about it babe xx"
Me: [a final attempt to tell him no]
Idiot: "oh ok hun . thank you . you sound lovely babe . please dont say you are single?xx"
And this is why I don't entertain these kind of texts in the first place!! So fucking annoying :/
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foxylady on 27 January 2015, 03:24:20 pm
Quote from: sienna92 on 26 January 2015, 11:49:54 pm
Earlier a man messaged me randomly on Adultwork saying ...Tonight?
And that's it! So rude, is it really that hard to say 'Hi are you available tonight by any chance?' Or something along them lines...

Oooh, I hate that rudeness!

I had someone phone last night and really gruffly ask  "how much?"

I replied "sorry I'm quite selective of who I choose to see and you have failed already".

What a twat!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 27 January 2015, 05:07:29 pm
Just read my emails and found this one....

Can I vomit on you? xx


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 27 January 2015, 05:23:17 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 27 January 2015, 05:07:29 pm
Just read my emails and found this one....

Can I vomit on you? xx

Haven't heard that one before! But I am not surprised.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 27 January 2015, 07:03:39 pm
Text earlier today,
'blowjob ?20?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foxylady on 28 January 2015, 05:48:08 pm
Urgh!!!

2 today........the day started with "hi foxy, I know you don't do incalls, but here's a photo of me in case you change your mind"......(yes of course, dick shot!)

and to top that, just now, "hi darling, would you consider joining me and my husband whilst a 16 year old watches?"

BLOCKED!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mistress-Devon on 28 January 2015, 07:22:57 pm
Quote from: foxylady on 28 January 2015, 05:48:08 pm
Urgh!!!

2 today........the day started with "hi foxy, I know you don't do incalls, but here's a photo of me in case you change your mind"......(yes of course, dick shot!)

and to top that, just now, "hi darling, would you consider joining me and my husband whilst a 16 year old watches?"

BLOCKED!  :FF

Holy Moly haha this made me giggle
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 29 January 2015, 01:02:04 pm
Sending an email via vivastreet without putting a valid email address to reply to so when I do respond I get a bounce back. Guess these guys won't be seeing anyone!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 29 January 2015, 03:15:28 pm
Turn up at my door with no prior warning, only have ?33-34 on you, and be a client I wouldn't have seen again as you tried to come in my mouth on a BJ-only meet when you knew I didn't do it. FFS!  :FF

I took ?30 and did a quick and cautious BJ. As he'd seen me with unwashed hair, no make-up, and wearing an old dressing gown, I figured it was the least I could do...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Carolynfeline on 30 January 2015, 02:38:46 am
He:I want an Incall with you, How much?
Me: M rates are on my website and my Incall location is?..(also on Website).
He: Oh, that's far away, How can I travel there?
Me: Giving him good advise which trains he could take.
He: But darling, couldn't you just pick me up because I would really like to see you and then I take the train back?
Me: I would have to charge an extra hour for that because it's a lot of effort.
He: Ok, I will get my own car and drive to you.
Me; Man, are you kidding me? Forget it, bye
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 30 January 2015, 07:12:28 am
Woke up to this text

If I visit can I give your ass and tits a good smacking please text back asap..

WTF is wrong with these men??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 30 January 2015, 08:01:30 am
Can you massage my prostate tomorrow please x
Let's say 10pm, when you massage do you taste it? x

This guy is just sick  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mistress-Devon on 30 January 2015, 11:31:18 am
Quote from: hotblondie Bristol on 30 January 2015, 08:01:30 am
Can you massage my prostate tomorrow please x
Let's say 10pm, when you massage do you taste it? x

This guy is just sick  :FF

Errr.... NO!  :-[
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xw5 on 30 January 2015, 11:38:13 am
Quote from: hotblondie Bristol on 30 January 2015, 08:01:30 am
Can you massage my prostate tomorrow please x
Let's say 10pm, when you massage do you taste it? x

"Yes. Of course, I have to get it out with my fingernails first."

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 30 January 2015, 12:21:07 pm
Just got my 4th text from a guy who is seriously weird anyone come across him? Ive taken the relevent parts from his texts

1.I'm a 40 year old Bi guy 6'3" slim white guy. One thing I am quite shy and like to keep my face hidden. Would you mind if I put a mask on before I come in to keep my face hidden?

2.One thing I am quite shy and like to put a mask on before I come in. maybe in your hallway, so you only see my eyes and mouth. Would that be ok?

3.I'm quite shy and like to put a mask on before you see me. Is that ok?

I don't know what planet this guys on to think a WG would allow a stranger to enter her premises wearing a full face mask never mind concerned neighbours whod be calling the police thinking he's a burglar.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 30 January 2015, 12:40:23 pm
I just blocked the idiot, hes not worth my nerves.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissCurtis on 31 January 2015, 12:29:28 pm
"Would love to have some fun and games with you, you could spray your pee all over me and I'll mop it up afterwards x"

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mistress-Devon on 31 January 2015, 04:22:28 pm
Quote from: MissCurtis on 31 January 2015, 12:29:28 pm
"Would love to have some fun and games with you, you could spray your pee all over me and I'll mop it up afterwards x"

 ::)

Ill do it if you don't want to  :-*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 31 January 2015, 05:29:09 pm
Dude just asked me for a house outcall, and wanted me to hide in the back of his car and have him carry me in so the neighbors won't notice. What the actual fuck? Lol. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: londonfox on 31 January 2015, 10:35:22 pm
Quote from: The_Lynx on 31 January 2015, 05:29:09 pm
Dude just asked me for a house outcall, and wanted me to hide in the back of his car and have him carry me in so the neighbors won't notice. What the actual fuck? Lol.

I.... how does that work? Carrying a man into his house sounds about as un-incognito as you can get!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 01 February 2015, 03:37:17 am
Quote from: londonfox on 31 January 2015, 10:35:22 pm
Quote from: The_Lynx on 31 January 2015, 05:29:09 pm
Dude just asked me for a house outcall, and wanted me to hide in the back of his car and have him carry me in so the neighbors won't notice. What the actual fuck? Lol.

I.... how does that work? Carrying a man into his house sounds about as un-incognito as you can get!

Wish I knew. I even asked, out of sheer curiosity. He got flustered and "canceled" (we had no fixed appointment). Hah.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sugar on 01 February 2015, 09:34:15 am
Recieved random booking form with enclosed message,  for 1 hour outcall to a town 14 miles away at 11pm. Guy has no feedback.
Quote:
I can't pay you tonight, but will next week. You can take anything as insurance and collect next week
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roseanna_ on 01 February 2015, 12:44:35 pm
Him: Is that Roseanna?
Me: Yes.
Him: What services do you provide?
Me: All services are given on my website
Him: Whats a website?
Me: :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 01 February 2015, 01:15:16 pm
Him: can you do a quickie for 25?
Me: no
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissCurtis on 01 February 2015, 05:38:39 pm
Quote from: Mistress-Devon on 31 January 2015, 04:22:28 pm
Quote from: MissCurtis on 31 January 2015, 12:29:28 pm
"Would love to have some fun and games with you, you could spray your pee all over me and I'll mop it up afterwards x"

 ::)

Ill do it if you don't want to  :-*

 ;D Be my guest. Watersports are not really my thing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 02 February 2015, 07:58:39 am
Received midnight last night. I'm the first to admit I'm rubbish at spelling but bloody hell!  :FF

"Hi sexy hot fit woman are you free fore sex to nite msgs me yes our now nowx"

So I sent him a message back saying...

"I couldn't possibly have sex with man whos spelling was THAT atrocious"  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DustedWithSugar on 02 February 2015, 11:03:17 am
tonight at 3:25 am
"u working love to c u"

 ::)seriously mate? you really think this is how you book an escort?

when I'm getting texts like that I wonder how many other girls they texted before me (10? 20? 30?) and if they EVER succeeded with booking anyone. if not why they keep doing this???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 02 February 2015, 04:41:03 pm
This one reaches the top of my list as most ridiculous communications ever, from a client I have visited once before:

Guy: I've a free house soon in a few weeks and wondered if you would like to come over. If you want to stay afterwards in a different room that's fine... you can have showers breakfast etc plus I hate stayig (sic) on my own lol I expect you know that I am a reasonable guy. Anyway its up to you.

(What?! Does he think I'm sleeping rough or homeless and am in need of a shower/food/bed?!)

I asked if he wanted an overnight or shorter booking etc...

Guy: I would love an overnight, but I would just spend most/all of the time sleeping ! It would probably be just an hour but I was being a bit cheeky asking if you wanted to stay over ! You could stay over if you wanted even if it mean in a different room !

I had lost my patience by this point, given this I was quite proud of my reply.

Me: I'm sorry but I won't be staying over. I have a very nice home already and I like to go home after work as I am sure you do :). Let me know if you have an idea of when you would like to book. xxx

Which, no surprise, he read and ignored completely. Seriously takes the piss!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 02 February 2015, 06:16:17 pm
"Good morning, how are you? I saw your profile. I am coming up to on wed. How much for u to be naked and just give me a hand job/ hand relief?  I am clean and cut (no foreskin), l also come fast so should be less than 5 minutes :-(  lol. Do not want sex or a bj. Look forward to hear from you. . Enjoy your weekend. thanks."


I replied "Hi sorry you seem to have misunderstood my profile, I sell time not specific sex acts therefore my fee would depend on how long you'd like to book for :) xx"

Nothing pisses me off more than "how much for ----?"
Not a sweet shop! My profile clearly says my rates for time, don't men think if I did say ?40 for a BJ then one client will have 10 mins and the other might need 25 and that wouldn't be fair at all cos one will get much more time with me.. By making my rates based on time it keeps it fair and means I can actually schedule appointments so they can book for a time and it's convenient for them!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 02 February 2015, 06:21:33 pm
Also, you can bet his '5 minutes' would end up taking at least 30.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 02 February 2015, 07:53:41 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 02 February 2015, 04:41:03 pm
This one reaches the top of my list as most ridiculous communications ever, from a client I have visited once before:

Guy: I've a free house soon in a few weeks and wondered if you would like to come over. If you want to stay afterwards in a different room that's fine... you can have showers breakfast etc plus I hate stayig (sic) on my own lol I expect you know that I am a reasonable guy. Anyway its up to you.

(What?! Does he think I'm sleeping rough or homeless and am in need of a shower/food/bed?!)

I asked if he wanted an overnight or shorter booking etc...

Guy: I would love an overnight, but I would just spend most/all of the time sleeping ! It would probably be just an hour but I was being a bit cheeky asking if you wanted to stay over ! You could stay over if you wanted even if it mean in a different room !

I had lost my patience by this point, given this I was quite proud of my reply.

Me: I'm sorry but I won't be staying over. I have a very nice home already and I like to go home after work as I am sure you do :). Let me know if you have an idea of when you would like to book. xxx

Which, no surprise, he read and ignored completely. Seriously takes the piss!
This kind of thing would royally piss me off!! I would of said what is the matter with him? And why on earth would he think I'd want to just stay for free???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 02 February 2015, 08:00:47 pm
I love this thread - totally cracks me up and makes me realise it's not just me!

Got this lovely e-mail other day

"mm your sxy darling, iv just cum looking at your pic id love you to slowly slide on me and let me cum up u"

Well fuck me- the offer I've been waiting for all my life!  :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 02 February 2015, 08:28:36 pm
Kylie - Believe me I was furious. But I am luckily able to control my anger enough not to be as rude to him as I wanted to be. What an utter joke... how can anyone think any of us will agree to crap like that?!

I can only conclude that he actually thinks I am desperate to ask something so insane "You could stay over if you wanted even if it mean in a different room !" Why on earth would I WANT to do that?!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 02 February 2015, 09:19:43 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 02 February 2015, 08:28:36 pm
Kylie - Believe me I was furious. But I am luckily able to control my anger enough not to be as rude to him as I wanted to be. What an utter joke... how can anyone think any of us will agree to crap like that?!

I can only conclude that he actually thinks I am desperate to ask something so insane "You could stay over if you wanted even if it mean in a different room !" Why on earth would I WANT to do that?!  :FF

I believe that many of the people who contact us (not genuine clients) are utterly delusional! They are clueless - put no more thought into it than their own little fantasy. They are in their own little reality. I worry sometimes, but then I think nah, I'll just watch enders instead! <3
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 02 February 2015, 09:29:53 pm
Quote from: MinxyMarianne on 02 February 2015, 09:19:43 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 02 February 2015, 08:28:36 pm
Kylie - Believe me I was furious. But I am luckily able to control my anger enough not to be as rude to him as I wanted to be. What an utter joke... how can anyone think any of us will agree to crap like that?!

I can only conclude that he actually thinks I am desperate to ask something so insane "You could stay over if you wanted even if it mean in a different room !" Why on earth would I WANT to do that?!  :FF

I believe that many of the people who contact us (not genuine clients) are utterly delusional! They are clueless - put no more thought into it than their own little fantasy. They are in their own little reality. I worry sometimes, but then I think nah, I'll just watch enders instead! <3
I had a guy visit when I'd just started. The visit was fine but after he started messaging me asking if I'd like to go drinking. He'd buy all the drinks and I could stay over. Hmm, yeah right!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 02 February 2015, 09:32:40 pm
Ha, like us staying over is a benefit to US!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 02 February 2015, 09:47:52 pm
It's all part of their fantasy brain - that we are going to be so into them that we'll want to date them. Like I said - clueless!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 02 February 2015, 09:48:30 pm
Thank god for the good clients!  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rubyruby on 02 February 2015, 11:14:38 pm

Hi Kendall are you free for an overnight booking 830pm til 5am. ?300 must be bare back, iam 54 tall clean very professional man xx

Googled his number and it's on a drs surgery website  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 03 February 2015, 12:02:55 am
Quote from: Kendallx on 02 February 2015, 11:14:38 pm

Hi Kendall are you free for an overnight booking 830pm til 5am. ?300 must be bare back, iam 54 tall clean very professional man xx

Googled his number and it's on a drs surgery website  :FF

Well there you go - clean and professional! How can you resist???????????????/  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rubyruby on 03 February 2015, 12:21:58 am
Quote from: MinxyMarianne on 03 February 2015, 12:02:55 am
Quote from: Kendallx on 02 February 2015, 11:14:38 pm

Hi Kendall are you free for an overnight booking 830pm til 5am. ?300 must be bare back, iam 54 tall clean very professional man xx

Googled his number and it's on a drs surgery website  :FF

Well there you go - clean and professional! How can you resist???????????????/  :P

I told him to go die in a fire and mailed the surgery and told them they need to fire that person or correct the number.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: alice842 on 03 February 2015, 12:56:13 am
'Looking for a girl to visit my hotel on Friday. Are you free?'

Yes, that's right I don't have a name! I wonder if he'd refer to me as 'girl' throughout the booking too..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rubyruby on 03 February 2015, 12:59:22 am
He might want you to find a girl for him  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: alice842 on 03 February 2015, 01:04:17 am
Quote from: Kendallx on 03 February 2015, 12:59:22 am
He might want you to find a girl for him  :P

That is what it sounds like, tempted to reply 'Hi, yes we would be very happy to send a girl to see you on Friday' maybe he got 'independent' confused with 'agency'

Checked aliases and he made his account earlier this evening and has already sent over a hundred emails ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rubyruby on 03 February 2015, 01:11:10 am
Quote from: alice842 on 03 February 2015, 01:04:17 am
Quote from: Kendallx on 03 February 2015, 12:59:22 am
He might want you to find a girl for him  :P

That is what it sounds like, tempted to reply 'Hi, yes we would be very happy to send a girl to see you on Friday' maybe he got 'independent' confused with 'agency'

Checked aliases and he made his account earlier this evening and has already sent over a hundred emails ::)


Sometimes there just isn't enough internet between you and these odd little men
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 03 February 2015, 05:50:34 pm
"Hi u meet now"

I replied "As soon as you learn to spell."

Had half a dozen negatives about wanting to talk for hours then not showing up for bookings. His replies were spelt even worse than his lovely message to me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 03 February 2015, 07:22:14 pm
Him:Are you still available in Wakefield?
Me:Umm I'm based in Leeds,advertise as based in Leeds and I always have been in Leeds.
Him:Even better.
Him:Are you ok to meet in daylight?
Me:?!?My hours are 10am until 9pm and I work as advertised in an apartment so you either think I'm a street lady or a vampire?!?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bluebottle on 03 February 2015, 08:32:47 pm
I agree with Violette who posted on page 1
Quote from: Violette on 30 August 2009, 03:54:23 pm
All this technology has a lot to answer for, now instead of giving idiots a cooling off period, they can spread all their silliness all over the place, and sometimes for free. OI VEY!

95% of the time I don't text back.
So these chimps end up having entertaining text chats with themselves.


Texter: 'Hello'

1 minute later- Texter: 'I need a quick service'

1 minute later- Texter: 'Ok don't worry about it fatso'

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 03 February 2015, 08:59:55 pm
Oh so tempting to reply with 'Funnily enough I'm really not worried about it arsehole!'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 03 February 2015, 09:12:59 pm
Just been asked if I'd like nutella out of a guy's arse for an extra ?50.  Then the next question was would I wear his daughter's school uniform.

Told him where to go.  A school uniform is one thing but his daughter's - and the fact he's telling me it's his daughters? 

That's not to mention the nutella!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 04 February 2015, 04:31:48 pm
"Hi my name is lee I'm 34 slim not bad looking I'm offering myself free of charge to use for making any films or pics you want I can supply pics

Or if you just want your pussy and arse cleaning with my tongue"

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 05 February 2015, 07:05:26 pm
Today's little gem...


Hi Curvygal,
I really like to see you, but for 30 minutes i can only afford ?40. An alternative is to go with 15 minutes for ?30 (so basically bj with condom and ball licking, cuming only once).
Thanks
Diego


Now I am outcall only.  So 'Diego' wants to me to go and visit him for 15 minutes for the grand sum of ?30.  He missed out the second alternative, which is for me to stay home and not see him at all!

Oh and he's staying in my town's Sheraton - you know that budget low cost hotel chain where all the people who can't afford proper rates go.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 05 February 2015, 09:56:58 pm
Text sent this morning,
'Any chance of getting in your knickers today?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 06 February 2015, 01:11:03 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 05 February 2015, 09:56:58 pm
Text sent this morning,
'Any chance of getting in your knickers today?'
Tempting to reply with 'Depends what size you are...better if you buy your own though..'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 06 February 2015, 02:04:36 pm
Someone just sent a really long text which was obviously meant for someone else. Out went my auto reply text which should have given them a clue they have text the wrong number. So they sent the same long rambling text again!

Not really, "How Not To Book An Escort," but not sure why they felt the need to retext!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 06 February 2015, 03:50:50 pm
I confirmed I'd be available this morning to someone who immediately started with the silly texts "will you lick my XXX and XXX?"so I just ignored. Then they texted saying I was a waste of time so I replied saying I don't offer a free sex chat service and only answer serious enquiries.
So they sent back that I'm not much of a prostitute and should be working at McDonalds.
Nice laugh to start my morning!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 06 February 2015, 04:37:32 pm
Text . Hey babe what would a 15 min booking give me ?

The privilege of being added to a block list as can't read !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 06 February 2015, 04:47:32 pm
Quote from: Exotic flower on 06 February 2015, 04:37:32 pm
Text . Hey babe what would a 15 min booking give me ?

The privilege of being added to a block list as can't read !!

I get really irritated when people waste my time asking for shorter bookings than I offer, when it is crystal clear on my profile that I don't do anything shorter than an hour.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: londonfox on 06 February 2015, 10:20:51 pm
miss a call
me (texting):you called?
him:who is this?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bluebottle on 06 February 2015, 10:43:16 pm
Quote from: londonfox on 06 February 2015, 10:20:51 pm
miss a call
me (texting):you called?
him:who is this?

Yes.... they called 6 other girls already on their, 'to do' list and
are so disorganised can't figure out which human they called lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 07 February 2015, 09:02:39 am
Just looked at my emails and I see one sent yesterday afternoon titled "I just called" when I open it theres just a mobile number nothing else so I thought what a twat and sent him on back saying "And?" but then I noticed his AW name "MY COCKS AW's BIGGEST" so curiousity steps in and lets just say it started my saturday off with a laugh.
Hes not AW's biggest by far hes very delusional. BUT his public gallery is hillarious and the discriptions in his private gallery are along the lines of "Me playing with with my sensitive pert erect nipples" and "Me bending over for you" and "Me in pantyhose and fishnet stockings" ::)
Its surreal because it would be OK if it was  a womans profile but to see a straight man posing trying to promote himself to women is nothing short of ludicrus.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 07 February 2015, 12:15:45 pm
Have to laugh at straight guys who set up offering services profiles! Though I think if they switch from seeking to offering you can no longer see things like aliases and notes on their profile so it can sometimes be an attempt to hide their bad stuff rather than a delusional act.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 07 February 2015, 12:55:38 pm
Woke up to texts from all the usual late Friday night idiots, including this:

"Are you available now to see two nice 28 year old lads? Will pay ANYTHING!" sent at 5:40am
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 07 February 2015, 01:36:45 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 07 February 2015, 12:55:38 pm
Woke up to texts from all the usual late Friday night idiots, including this:

"Are you available now to see two nice 28 year old lads? Will pay ANYTHING!" sent at 5:40am

If the above were literally true (they were actually nice and they would actually pay ANYTHING) I would be all over that. LOL
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 07 February 2015, 02:15:49 pm
I love when I display my number a little early (last night) and specify I am working today and tomorrow. Yet I still get calls all last night saying 'you free now?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 07 February 2015, 06:18:47 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 07 February 2015, 09:02:39 am
Just looked at my emails and I see one sent yesterday afternoon titled "I just called" when I open it theres just a mobile number nothing else so I thought what a twat and sent him on back saying "And?" but then I noticed his AW name "MY COCKS AW's BIGGEST" so curiousity steps in and lets just say it started my saturday off with a laugh.
Hes not AW's biggest by far hes very delusional. BUT his public gallery is hillarious and the discriptions in his private gallery are along the lines of "Me playing with with my sensitive pert erect nipples" and "Me bending over for you" and "Me in pantyhose and fishnet stockings" ::)
Its surreal because it would be OK if it was  a womans profile but to see a straight man posing trying to promote himself to women is nothing short of ludicrus.

I got one of him yesterday. He had rung me first though and his message started with I have just rung you. His name was different though something like Myspunkforwomen or something like like that. Then when I logged on again it had changed to this name. I think he must have a slate loose.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 08 February 2015, 02:29:53 pm
Seriously thinking of throwing in the towel for the day. Just call after call from idiots who haven't read my adverts. And Mr Are You Free Now, I'll Be In The Area in 2 Hours(?!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 08 February 2015, 03:05:35 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 07 February 2015, 09:02:39 am
Just looked at my emails and I see one sent yesterday afternoon titled "I just called" when I open it theres just a mobile number nothing else so I thought what a twat and sent him on back saying "And?" but then I noticed his AW name "MY COCKS AW's BIGGEST" so curiousity steps in and lets just say it started my saturday off with a laugh.
Hes not AW's biggest by far hes very delusional. BUT his public gallery is hillarious and the discriptions in his private gallery are along the lines of "Me playing with with my sensitive pert erect nipples" and "Me bending over for you" and "Me in pantyhose and fishnet stockings" ::)
Its surreal because it would be OK if it was  a womans profile but to see a straight man posing trying to promote himself to women is nothing short of ludicrus.

OMG you've brightened my day, thanks for sharing! What a weirdo. I imagine you rang him straight away desperate to meet? Haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ieaio on 10 February 2015, 11:08:37 am
Can you dye your hair for our booking so you are not a goth i prefer normal girls, dye it from black to blonde and send me a picture when you've done so i know it's acceptable & not false advertising.


(Bearing in mind, i have uploaded current photos of my hair plus to go from black to blonde it takes about literally a year to do saftley with bleach & hell no would i dye my hair for even a partner)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss-M on 10 February 2015, 11:23:54 am
Quote from: mature helen on 07 February 2015, 09:02:39 am
Just looked at my emails and I see one sent yesterday afternoon titled "I just called" when I open it theres just a mobile number nothing else so I thought what a twat and sent him on back saying "And?" but then I noticed his AW name "MY COCKS AW's BIGGEST" so curiousity steps in and lets just say it started my saturday off with a laugh.
Hes not AW's biggest by far hes very delusional. BUT his public gallery is hillarious and the discriptions in his private gallery are along the lines of "Me playing with with my sensitive pert erect nipples" and "Me bending over for you" and "Me in pantyhose and fishnet stockings" ::)
Its surreal because it would be OK if it was  a womans profile but to see a straight man posing trying to promote himself to women is nothing short of ludicrus.

He is a weirdo I've had it off him also, he changes his name all the time ( being honest I wouldn't even have time to list them on here, probably fill two whole pages ) I just block and wait eagerly for the next email.....!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 10 February 2015, 05:42:36 pm
Quote from: Ieaio on 10 February 2015, 11:08:37 am
Can you dye your hair for our booking so you are not a goth i prefer normal girls, dye it from black to blonde and send me a picture when you've done so i know it's acceptable & not false advertising.


(Bearing in mind, i have uploaded current photos of my hair plus to go from black to blonde it takes about literally a year to do saftley with bleach & hell no would i dye my hair for even a partner)

How funny, so he knows it's acceptable?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 10 February 2015, 06:47:25 pm
Quote from: TheLittleMatchGirl on 10 February 2015, 05:42:36 pm
Quote from: Ieaio on 10 February 2015, 11:08:37 am
Can you dye your hair for our booking so you are not a goth i prefer normal girls, dye it from black to blonde and send me a picture when you've done so i know it's acceptable & not false advertising.


(Bearing in mind, i have uploaded current photos of my hair plus to go from black to blonde it takes about literally a year to do saftley with bleach & hell no would i dye my hair for even a partner)

How funny, so he knows it's acceptable?!
Pfft, tell him to go and find someone who is already blonde. How are you false advertising if you're not advertising as being blond. What a prick!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 11 February 2015, 12:08:35 pm
Him: Hi Chloe are you free this afternoon?
Me: yes & gives times
Him: can I ask something?
Me: yeah sure
Him: in always immaculately clean and have a very recent fully clean cert you can see, are you tested?
Me: (knowing what's coming) I don't need to see your certificate but yes I get tested every month.
Him: so are you up for playing "naturally"?
Me: I knew you'd ask and the answer is no. I'm not interested in putting my health on the line for a booking:
Him: ok you're unsuitable

 I get tested regularly and all I get is a text saying "results are all clear" - sexual health certificates don't exist unless you're a porn performer and pay for them.. Right? I've never heard of them except for porn. I certainly don't get them from the GUM clinic.
I like how often the word "unsuitable" gets thrown around like it will make us ladies feel inadequate and change our minds.. Not!
Blocked ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roseanna_ on 11 February 2015, 01:38:15 pm
Got this today
Any discount on valentines day since I don't have a girlfriend
WTF!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 11 February 2015, 01:55:06 pm
Literally just got this text

"Hi - I'm in Portsmouth po1 *** and really fancy a quick hand job. I have ?30 on me. Are you able to pop over? x"

 :FF no comment on that one!

And another recent text convo

him "how much 1 hour"
me "?130. I have a profile on Adultwork if you would like any more info"
Thursday 8pm - him "are you available"
Monday 10.30pm - him "are you free now"
Tuesday 10pm him "are you free"

Me - " I am never free I always charge and if you looked at my advert as I suggested you would see that I don't work evenings"

 ::) just snapped !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 11 February 2015, 02:23:17 pm
Quote from: chloe_ on 11 February 2015, 12:08:35 pm
Him: Hi Chloe are you free this afternoon?
Me: yes & gives times
Him: can I ask something?
Me: yeah sure
Him: in always immaculately clean and have a very recent fully clean cert you can see, are you tested?
Me: (knowing what's coming) I don't need to see your certificate but yes I get tested every month.
Him: so are you up for playing "naturally"?
Me: I knew you'd ask and the answer is no. I'm not interested in putting my health on the line for a booking:
Him: ok you're unsuitable

 I get tested regularly and all I get is a text saying "results are all clear" - sexual health certificates don't exist unless you're a porn performer and pay for them.. Right? I've never heard of them except for porn. I certainly don't get them from the GUM clinic.
I like how often the word "unsuitable" gets thrown around like it will make us ladies feel inadequate and change our minds.. Not!
Blocked ;D

Yes, unsuitable is such a bizarre word to use in this context. Unsuitable as in not a cretin?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roseanna_ on 11 February 2015, 03:07:40 pm
Quote from: Roseanna_ on 11 February 2015, 01:38:15 pm
Got this today
Any discount on valentines day since I don't have a girlfriend
WTF!!!


Replied NO

Got this next

Would it be any cheaper for just a lick

Seem to be attracting the loons today
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 11 February 2015, 03:28:42 pm
Quote from: Roseanna_ on 11 February 2015, 03:07:40 pm
Quote from: Roseanna_ on 11 February 2015, 01:38:15 pm
Got this today
Any discount on valentines day since I don't have a girlfriend
WTF!!!


Replied NO

Got this next

Would it be any cheaper for just a lick

Seem to be attracting the loons today

Yeh it's wanker wednesday here for me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 11 February 2015, 04:46:50 pm
Oh I've had it all today!A bloke asking me if I'm Leeds but then telling me he can't be arsed to travel and putting the phone down,another asking me if I can sort out an mmf with a bimale for him...I don't do mmfs anyway,another wanting to offer me his professional photography skills (yeah so good you are ringing up lasses)...on and on...did actually do an hour but 15 mins into the booking he suddenly asked if I could dominate and humiliate him even though he had not mentioned any of this when he booked!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 11 February 2015, 10:54:24 pm
Received this, this morning just in time for Valentine's Day  ::)


Hey K, how's your week going? How's it going on here?

Unlike most guys who message you, I'm not looking for ANYTHING sexual, in anyway shape or form. I'm looking for a long term relationship with someone in this industry, who enjoys this lifestyle. I love my partner (when I have one) having other guys sexually and always have, hence why looking for a partner in this industry. So your job isn't a problem, it's a plus!.

I'm not your typical insecure type of guy who has to control his partner. I don't get jealous either. I'm a genuinely nice, respectful, loving and kind caring guy with a good sense of humour, who enjoys a laugh, lots of banter and good times. Looking to meet someone like minded.

I'm always up in your area, so distance no issue.

Hope to speak soon, Scott x
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DustedWithSugar on 12 February 2015, 02:39:41 am
Quote from: Miss K xXx on 11 February 2015, 10:54:24 pm
Received this, this morning just in time for Valentine's Day  ::)


Hey K, how's your week going? How's it going on here?

Unlike most guys who message you, I'm not looking for ANYTHING sexual, in anyway shape or form. I'm looking for a long term relationship with someone in this industry, who enjoys this lifestyle. I love my partner (when I have one) having other guys sexually and always have, hence why looking for a partner in this industry. So your job isn't a problem, it's a plus!.

I'm not your typical insecure type of guy who has to control his partner. I don't get jealous either. I'm a genuinely nice, respectful, loving and kind caring guy with a good sense of humour, who enjoys a laugh, lots of banter and good times. Looking to meet someone like minded.

I'm always up in your area, so distance no issue.

Hope to speak soon, Scott x
I had this same message some time ago, I thought I'm the special one ;(  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TeenKylie on 12 February 2015, 04:47:07 am
Quote from: Miss K xXx on 11 February 2015, 10:54:24 pm
Received this, this morning just in time for Valentine's Day  ::)


Hey K, how's your week going? How's it going on here?

Unlike most guys who message you, I'm not looking for ANYTHING sexual, in anyway shape or form. I'm looking for a long term relationship with someone in this industry, who enjoys this lifestyle. I love my partner (when I have one) having other guys sexually and always have, hence why looking for a partner in this industry. So your job isn't a problem, it's a plus!.

I'm not your typical insecure type of guy who has to control his partner. I don't get jealous either. I'm a genuinely nice, respectful, loving and kind caring guy with a good sense of humour, who enjoys a laugh, lots of banter and good times. Looking to meet someone like minded.

I'm always up in your area, so distance no issue.

Hope to speak soon, Scott x
This guy is such a idiot! I've had this message from him twice on both my profiles and each time told him where to go. I don't get why he even bothers? Does he actually think anyone would be stupid enough to take him up on this? Like we can't choose partners for ourselves if we want them?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 12 February 2015, 08:15:48 am
Hi can come see you right now.
10 mins later oh I have to cancel my auntie been rushed to hospital
Can I see you later on !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 12 February 2015, 08:17:35 am
Text from known and ignored timewaster.
???? Loads of question marks  Sent 3 times just now
 No ladies if you can figure what that is meant to be about lol !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 12 February 2015, 08:25:09 am
Quote from: MissKylie on 12 February 2015, 04:47:07 am
Quote from: Miss K xXx on 11 February 2015, 10:54:24 pm
Received this, this morning just in time for Valentine's Day  ::)


Hey K, how's your week going? How's it going on here?

Unlike most guys who message you, I'm not looking for ANYTHING sexual, in anyway shape or form. I'm looking for a long term relationship with someone in this industry, who enjoys this lifestyle. I love my partner (when I have one) having other guys sexually and always have, hence why looking for a partner in this industry. So your job isn't a problem, it's a plus!.

I'm not your typical insecure type of guy who has to control his partner. I don't get jealous either. I'm a genuinely nice, respectful, loving and kind caring guy with a good sense of humour, who enjoys a laugh, lots of banter and good times. Looking to meet someone like minded.

I'm always up in your area, so distance no issue.

Hope to speak soon, Scott x
This guy is such a idiot! I've had this message from him twice on both my profiles and each time told him where to go. I don't get why he even bothers? Does he actually think anyone would be stupid enough to take him up on this? Like we can't choose partners for ourselves if we want them?!

Yeah I emailed him back saying he's completely delusional and I said to him that it hasn't even occurred to him that I may already have a bf (I don't but he doesn't know that) and it hasn't occurred to him that maybe I don't want a bf who's happy with me going off and getting banged off every guy in Glasgow for money. I told him that if he wants a gf who has sex with other men then he should check out fab swingers or plenty of fish NOT try to get a gf on an escorting website. I also said that I wondered how many others he copy and pasted that email to? Didn't hear back from him after that lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Teddy Bear on 12 February 2015, 11:58:41 am
Yo love what time do your legs open? Charming... I just put the phone down.

You'll have to be quiet when you arrive my kids are asleep upstairs or even better when you arrive and they announce this information. Sicko.

Do you do more than one guy at a time? There are 8 of us here and we all want to take turns. Is ?300 enough to get that party rolling?! I can't even...

Offering any Valentines/Christmas/Easter etc. discounts? When I reply no... but this is your quietest time ain't it? Actually no and there are lots of decent clients willing to pay what I charge.

Half hour? Nope. But every whore offers half hours and I'll only take 15 minutes anyway so really you'll be doing half the work for double the money, your hour rate is too expensive don't be so greedy. Then go and book someone you can afford silly boy it's simple mathematics. Sometimes they forget that we make the rules not them.

I've been a regular for a while can I have a Valentines discount or better yet a freebie as money is tight this month? ::) I asked him if he works for free and he said of course not I have got bills and a mortgage to pay! Precisely :FF

And this was just from this month. Fuckhead February can't end soon enough.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 12 February 2015, 07:44:45 pm
Quote from: Miss K xXx on 12 February 2015, 08:25:09 am
Quote from: MissKylie on 12 February 2015, 04:47:07 am
Quote from: Miss K xXx on 11 February 2015, 10:54:24 pm
Received this, this morning just in time for Valentine's Day  ::)


Hey K, how's your week going? How's it going on here?

Unlike most guys who message you, I'm not looking for ANYTHING sexual, in anyway shape or form. I'm looking for a long term relationship with someone in this industry, who enjoys this lifestyle. I love my partner (when I have one) having other guys sexually and always have, hence why looking for a partner in this industry. So your job isn't a problem, it's a plus!.

I'm not your typical insecure type of guy who has to control his partner. I don't get jealous either. I'm a genuinely nice, respectful, loving and kind caring guy with a good sense of humour, who enjoys a laugh, lots of banter and good times. Looking to meet someone like minded.

I'm always up in your area, so distance no issue.

Hope to speak soon, Scott x
This guy is such a idiot! I've had this message from him twice on both my profiles and each time told him where to go. I don't get why he even bothers? Does he actually think anyone would be stupid enough to take him up on this? Like we can't choose partners for ourselves if we want them?!

Yeah I emailed him back saying he's completely delusional and I said to him that it hasn't even occurred to him that I may already have a bf (I don't but he doesn't know that) and it hasn't occurred to him that maybe I don't want a bf who's happy with me going off and getting banged off every guy in Glasgow for money. I told him that if he wants a gf who has sex with other men then he should check out fab swingers or plenty of fish NOT try to get a gf on an escorting website. I also said that I wondered how many others he copy and pasted that email to? Didn't hear back from him after that lol x

I got the exact same e-mail today...!!!  He must just fill in the names at the top and sends them out..
What is he all about?!  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ieaio on 13 February 2015, 08:24:40 pm
Got a message:

Boobs.

That was literally all they had to say XD

Well your not wrong... but huh?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 13 February 2015, 08:50:12 pm
I once got a message asking if my carpet matched the curtains! I told him to show a little respect.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: eatmeplease on 13 February 2015, 08:50:45 pm
Quote from: Siorse on 12 February 2015, 07:44:45 pm
Quote from: Miss K xXx on 12 February 2015, 08:25:09 am
Quote from: MissKylie on 12 February 2015, 04:47:07 am
Quote from: Miss K xXx on 11 February 2015, 10:54:24 pm
Received this, this morning just in time for Valentine's Day  ::)


Hey K, how's your week going? How's it going on here?

Unlike most guys who message you, I'm not looking for ANYTHING sexual, in anyway shape or form. I'm looking for a long term relationship with someone in this industry, who enjoys this lifestyle. I love my partner (when I have one) having other guys sexually and always have, hence why looking for a partner in this industry. So your job isn't a problem, it's a plus!.

I'm not your typical insecure type of guy who has to control his partner. I don't get jealous either. I'm a genuinely nice, respectful, loving and kind caring guy with a good sense of humour, who enjoys a laugh, lots of banter and good times. Looking to meet someone like minded.

I'm always up in your area, so distance no issue.

Hope to speak soon, Scott x
This guy is such a idiot! I've had this message from him twice on both my profiles and each time told him where to go. I don't get why he even bothers? Does he actually think anyone would be stupid enough to take him up on this? Like we can't choose partners for ourselves if we want them?!

Yeah I emailed him back saying he's completely delusional and I said to him that it hasn't even occurred to him that I may already have a bf (I don't but he doesn't know that) and it hasn't occurred to him that maybe I don't want a bf who's happy with me going off and getting banged off every guy in Glasgow for money. I told him that if he wants a gf who has sex with other men then he should check out fab swingers or plenty of fish NOT try to get a gf on an escorting website. I also said that I wondered how many others he copy and pasted that email to? Didn't hear back from him after that lol x

I got the exact same e-mail today...!!!  He must just fill in the names at the top and sends them out..
What is he all about?!  ???
I've had this email too ...I just said I only fuck men for money as I'm a lesbian ..didn't get a reply to that one !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: alice842 on 13 February 2015, 10:28:21 pm
Quote from: eatmeplease on 13 February 2015, 08:50:45 pm
I've had this email too ...I just said I only fuck men for money as I'm a lesbian ..didn't get a reply to that one !

Oh being a lesbian is always my go-to as well. If a client is asking too many personal questions I tell them I'm actually gay and only have sex with men for work and that I have a wonderful girlfriend whom I live with :D I've only told one client that to his face though and he was asking so many personal questions and implying how much I must love my job and I got so cross. I wouldn't want to see him again anyway.

I haven't had this email, I feel left out, am I not good enough girlfriend material for him? ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foxylady on 13 February 2015, 11:07:09 pm
Quote from: alice842 on 13 February 2015, 10:28:21 pm
Quote from: eatmeplease on 13 February 2015, 08:50:45 pm
I've had this email too ...I just said I only fuck men for money as I'm a lesbian ..didn't get a reply to that one !

Oh being a lesbian is always my go-to as well. If a client is asking too many personal questions I tell them I'm actually gay and only have sex with men for work and that I have a wonderful girlfriend whom I live with :D I've only told one client that to his face though and he was asking so many personal questions and implying how much I must love my job and I got so cross. I wouldn't want to see him again anyway.

I haven't had this email, I feel left out, am I not good enough girlfriend material for him? ;)

ha ha Alice!!!

Nope, not girlfriend material............he clearly heard you were a lesbo!!!! x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 14 February 2015, 03:15:40 am
Quote from: TheLittleMatchGirl on 10 February 2015, 05:42:36 pm
Quote from: Ieaio on 10 February 2015, 11:08:37 am
Can you dye your hair for our booking so you are not a goth i prefer normal girls, dye it from black to blonde and send me a picture when you've done so i know it's acceptable & not false advertising.


(Bearing in mind, i have uploaded current photos of my hair plus to go from black to blonde it takes about literally a year to do saftley with bleach & hell no would i dye my hair for even a partner)

How funny, so he knows it's acceptable?!


Yep , I nearly ruined my hair a few years back by trying to go from blue black to white platinum blonde in one week ( home bleach job too...BAD idea!! ) ..Although i wasnt doing it for a client.

What an arse !!! Its not like theres not 1000s of WGs to choose from is it !! Why did he not simply book a "non goth" blonde "normal girl"  in the first place.... I change my hair a lot , crazy colours too. No way would I dye it over for ONE "potential" booking.

Sounds to me like an idiot trying to see how "desperate" we all are and how far he can push with silly demands.

Urghh!! That one has really annoyed me !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 14 February 2015, 05:00:53 am
Quote from: bibi on 11 February 2015, 04:46:50 pm
Oh I've had it all today!A bloke asking me if I'm Leeds but then telling me he can't be arsed to travel and putting the phone down,another asking me if I can sort out an mmf with a bimale for him...I don't do mmfs anyway,another wanting to offer me his professional photography skills (yeah so good you are ringing up lasses)...on and on...did actually do an hour but 15 mins into the booking he suddenly asked if I could dominate and humiliate him even though he had not mentioned any of this when he booked!
`

The bi-male mmf dom/humilation guy is trolling the yorkshire ladies ... Called "James" by any chance? well spoken and polite on phone.  Made a 2hr bkng which never happened , which i expected anyway. Comes across as genuine this one , but just another TW , although he's a little bit cleverer and subtle than most ,k ill give him that !! lol.

He soon lost interest when i explained that 1 - i dont have a stable of bisexual crossdressing livce in slave on hand 24/7 2 - I do know some guys like that but im not going to introduce them to a guy i hardly know.

Maybe after a good few sessions i could arrange it .... but yep , just another fantasist trying to get free jollies on the phone.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 14 February 2015, 04:38:45 pm
Midnight last night "how much for me and the Mrs?"

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 14 February 2015, 11:17:04 pm
Quote from: alice842 on 13 February 2015, 10:28:21 pm
Quote from: eatmeplease on 13 February 2015, 08:50:45 pm
I've had this email too ...I just said I only fuck men for money as I'm a lesbian ..didn't get a reply to that one !

Oh being a lesbian is always my go-to as well. If a client is asking too many personal questions I tell them I'm actually gay and only have sex with men for work and that I have a wonderful girlfriend whom I live with :D I've only told one client that to his face though and he was asking so many personal questions and implying how much I must love my job and I got so cross. I wouldn't want to see him again anyway.

I haven't had this email, I feel left out, am I not good enough girlfriend material for him? ;)



ALICE!!!  ;D ;D I'm glad im not the only one! Soon shuts them up, mind you saying that sometimes it has backfired then all i get is 'wont she work with you too?'

LOL x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 14 February 2015, 11:20:49 pm
ALICE!!!  ;D ;D I'm glad im not the only one! Soon shuts them up, mind you saying that sometimes it has backfired then all i get is 'wont she work with you too?'

LOL x
[/quote]
Quote from: alice842 on 13 February 2015, 10:28:21 pm
Quote from: eatmeplease on 13 February 2015, 08:50:45 pm
I've had this email too ...I just said I only fuck men for money as I'm a lesbian ..didn't get a reply to that one !

Oh being a lesbian is always my go-to as well. If a client is asking too many personal questions I tell them I'm actually gay and only have sex with men for work and that I have a wonderful girlfriend whom I live with :D I've only told one client that to his face though and he was asking so many personal questions and implying how much I must love my job and I got so cross. I wouldn't want to see him again anyway.

I haven't had this email, I feel left out, am I not good enough girlfriend material for him? ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LouDelightful on 15 February 2015, 05:03:31 am
" i've only got ?20 quid can you come see me "

I replied " Sorry my price's are alot higher than that and dont do discount or freebie's"

"but i have a really big cock "


Seriously men's ego think that we are so cheap - ?20 doesnt even get me my food shopping lol

Hate the freebie loader's
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 15 February 2015, 12:33:40 pm
Fairly bog standard spam text, but I had to laugh at the fact he managed to spell professional wrong in exactly the same way three times! I feel if you are a professional you should probably check how to spell it.

Hello there, Are you interested to make proffisional photos for your escort work? I can take proffisional photos for you. I am a proffisional photographer. Also you can make advert in my escort website. If you want to see my photos please visit [escort directory on a build a free escort site place]. Contact me for all details by [number]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 15 February 2015, 02:29:53 pm
"how would you like to put something tight black shiny and kinky on and let me spend a blissful hour between your thighs later tonight?

come over to mine if you can travel xxx"

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: alice842 on 15 February 2015, 03:47:10 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 15 February 2015, 02:29:53 pm
"how would you like to put something tight black shiny and kinky on and let me spend a blissful hour between your thighs later tonight?

come over to mine if you can travel xxx"

 ::)

A client got me a strap on last week. It's black, shiny, kinky... I'd be tempted to whip it out on him ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 15 February 2015, 03:51:27 pm
Haha I've got no problem with kink. But that was the first message he sent me lol

Additionally my profile says advance booking only, I'm not currently taking on same day bookings. All my outfits are listed too... nothing matching his request.

Who just assumes we all have a closet filled with latex?! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 15 February 2015, 06:20:04 pm
"Hiya,are you free for an incall? How much is 1/2hr with all your likes & could we do it without as I'm allergic to condoms but am clean & tested.x"

What on earth is wrong with the guys today!!!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 15 February 2015, 06:31:27 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 15 February 2015, 06:20:04 pm
"Hiya,are you free for an incall? How much is 1/2hr with all your likes & could we do it without as I'm allergic to condoms but am clean & tested.x"

What on earth is wrong with the guys today!!!  :FF

It's Sunday, most of them have the hang over horn and when they are horny......they simply just don't think straight. I only take bookings from people I know on a Sunday or so long as it's booked in advance, I don't mind seeing a new client but I will not take a same day booking from a stranger on a Sunday. I actually find myself ignoring my phone a lot on a Sunday because I find it quite unbearable. It's either guys who are still partying from the nite before or guys with the hangover horn coming out with the most stupid things x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 15 February 2015, 07:10:32 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 15 February 2015, 06:20:04 pm
"Hiya,are you free for an incall? How much is 1/2hr with all your likes & could we do it without as I'm allergic to condoms but am clean & tested.x"

What on earth is wrong with the guys today!!!  :FF

When I got ones like that I used to respond with.

"I'm clean and tested too ..... And use latex free condoms, so no problem there" ....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 15 February 2015, 07:55:30 pm
Haha I didn't think of that but will use it next time! I said something about diseases not doing it for me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 15 February 2015, 08:16:11 pm
Hello, have you sorted out your claim for PPI? I say what? They say it again. I asked one woman if she'd like to book. Sorry? she says.

My 2 works phones are only work phones so they obviously troll escort sites for this. It started only in about the past month 6 weeks on both work phones.   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 15 February 2015, 10:12:12 pm
Text 1: You working?
Text 2: ?
Text 3: ??
All in the space of 5 minutes, while I was in the shower in between bookings..  ::)

By the way, I think clients have been reading this thread lol, I haven't had an " Available?" for ages!!
It's been replaced by "When are you free?"
Well it would be handier if you just told me when you'd want to book, rather than me giving you my entire
diary for the next few weeks..  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 16 February 2015, 03:32:25 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 15 February 2015, 06:20:04 pm
"Hiya,are you free for an incall? How much is 1/2hr with all your likes & could we do it without as I'm allergic to condoms but am clean & tested.x"

What on earth is wrong with the guys today!!!  :FF

I had this last night midsstudent! Tbf even if they were clean and tested and i had proof they were, i still wouldn't offer bareback. There is just something too intimate for me having a strangers raw skin inside me. Ew.

R x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 16 February 2015, 03:37:58 pm
Haha I wonder how many people he sent that too!

I wouldn't either, idc if the test was a day old... some diseases take weeks or longer to show up. I also feel that I need to keep something back to make sex not feel like work sex when you're with someone who isn't paying, that's a level of intimacy I'm not willing to give clients, it's a line I wouldn't cross even if I was 100% certain they were clean.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 17 February 2015, 08:50:58 am
Text received at 5.14am this morning.

"Could you send number for some girls available at the moment please."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roseanna_ on 17 February 2015, 09:23:50 am
Just had this text

Do you take it up the shitter?
And can we do it plain?

Blocked  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 17 February 2015, 09:27:28 pm
Quote from: Roseanna_ on 17 February 2015, 09:23:50 am
Just had this text

Do you take it up the shitter?
And can we do it plain?

Blocked  :FF

What the fuck does can we do it plain mean? X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roseanna_ on 18 February 2015, 12:16:58 am
I think its alluding to no condom
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foxylady on 18 February 2015, 07:55:36 am
Most annoying phrase..............

"Are you open?"

my reply "not for you"

This puzzled him into "why not", which I ignored as on my phone I had saved him as an idiot, who previously asked me "hi, looking for my hole".

Some men are gross!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 18 February 2015, 12:31:15 pm
I get the are you still open texts all the time. Normally I try to ignore them and block them but sometimes with the female inside me and hormones flying all over the place, I can't help myself but reply saying something equally as stupid back to them and if I'm extra pissed off them maybe I will tell them to fuck off which always confuses them, no point in even explaining to them why they haven't got the response they were hoping for.

Plenty of these idiots though, this thread is nearly 500 pages long so I am thinking that these guys crazy ways and crazy approach MUST work with some girls otherwise they wouldn't do it and they wouldn't be so confused as to why they have been refused a booking!

I just thank my lucky stars over and over at the good clients I have that have kept my busy for the past 3 years but it still amazes me to this day how many numpty's there are in the world, I'm sure it's not just men......people in general, women can be equally as daft, it just so happens that when men (not all men though) are horny (which is a lot) they simply just don't think straight and with us being in the sex industry, having to deal with them is just part of the job. Doesn't get any easier though, we're only human and sometimes it's hard to keep a good positive attitude to those who winde you up.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 18 February 2015, 04:59:30 pm
Another PPI call today on AW phone and last night at 11pm had a man phone confirming my order of 4 washing machines and 4 tablets on my other work phone! Yes of course, the likes of Comet are going to phone at 11pm with this and not say which company they're from either ::)

He had a high pitched USA accent and I saw someone on Youtube once who sounded just like him who used to phone escorts to wind them up then put them on there. I suspected someone else once did this and looked for myself on there and found this idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 18 February 2015, 05:09:58 pm
Another smashing day of requests today:

Quote
Hi Mistress i know you dont list this in your likes but I was wondering if you would consider using me as your toilet for hardsports.
Im an experienced toilet slave and would love to visit you. Its really easy and I promise to leave no mess behind. All you have to do is order me to lie on the bathroom floor. Squat over my mouth or I can bring a toilet chair? Then when ready you can take a poo in my mouth. Tell me to eat it all then kick me out.
The whole booking would be less than 30mins. And if you enjoyed could make it a regular appointment?

Please let me know if you will consider, and what time suits you

And then... (for those who didn't see my prior post, he sent me this exact same message on Sunday which I ignored!)

Quote
how would you like to put something tight black shiny and kinky on and let me spend a blissful hour between your thighs later today?

To top it off, a booking rearranged for today from lack of availability on both our parts the week prior. Messaged me this morning confirming for 3pm, booking request says 1pm. I told him this and he claimed that the previous time it was going to be 1pm but we said 3pm for this time ... I go by what the booking request says when keeping track of advance bookings (had today's date on and everything saying 1pm).

Anyway, just checked the messages... I wasn't wrong, we did say 1pm!   :FF

I couldn't do 3pm so booking got cancelled. There goes today's earnings! :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss-M on 18 February 2015, 06:06:53 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 18 February 2015, 05:09:58 pm
Another smashing day of requests today:

Quote
Hi Mistress i know you dont list this in your likes but I was wondering if you would consider using me as your toilet for hardsports.
Im an experienced toilet slave and would love to visit you. Its really easy and I promise to leave no mess behind. All you have to do is order me to lie on the bathroom floor. Squat over my mouth or I can bring a toilet chair? Then when ready you can take a poo in my mouth. Tell me to eat it all then kick me out.
The whole booking would be less than 30mins. And if you enjoyed could make it a regular appointment?

Please let me know if you will consider, and what time suits you

Quote
how would you like to put something tight black shiny and kinky on and let me spend a blissful hour between your thighs later today?

I've had these, about a month ago, must be doing the rounds!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 18 February 2015, 06:32:11 pm

Just received this exact text, spelling and everything haha


Quote from: Just An Escort on 15 February 2015, 12:33:40 pm
Fairly bog standard spam text, but I had to laugh at the fact he managed to spell professional wrong in exactly the same way three times! I feel if you are a professional you should probably check how to spell it.

Hello there, Are you interested to make proffisional photos for your escort work? I can take proffisional photos for you. I am a proffisional photographer. Also you can make advert in my escort website. If you want to see my photos please visit [escort directory on a build a free escort site place]. Contact me for all details by [number]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 19 February 2015, 04:13:03 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 18 February 2015, 06:32:11 pm

Just received this exact text, spelling and everything haha


I forgot to add him to my block list so I got a second text a few days later, this time with added instructions about how to find these amazing "proffisional" photos on his website. I've remembered to block him now!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 19 February 2015, 04:30:06 pm
I got a message from a guy with 0 feedback asking me to be his webcam partner... I don't offer webcamming. These timewasters and idiots pushing their luck are exhausting sometimes.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: alice842 on 19 February 2015, 04:49:14 pm
I agree. I had an email this morning asking for an incall tomorrow (I'm doing two incall days next week) and another guy who had obviously read some of my profile because he asked for an incall at my hotel next week but at 6pm when it says 11-5pm. I have literally one sentence at the top of my profile saying 'incall days on this day at this time at this place' don't know how he managed to selectively read it and miss out the middle of the sentence :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: miss julia on 19 February 2015, 06:03:48 pm
email -  Hi would ya be available tnyt for incall bou alf9 r 10 for alf hour xx

Oh yes, sure I would love to meet some idiot that can't read my availability, times and the 'please don't use text speak'  :FF
At least the ones that ask me to pee, poo & fart in their mouth give me a giggle  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 19 February 2015, 06:28:11 pm
Really creepy sounding guy phones me today originally asking how I am which is always nice so I asked him how he was too then he asked if he could ask me some questions to which I replied with yes but his voice just sounded really creepy so I was delighted when he asked me for a bunch of things I didn't do (such as strapon stuff and other anal related things) so I just hung up on him but then the texts followed......

Him: U don't love me
Him: I really like u a lot
Him: I have read ur prof said giving and that
Him: I want it with u
Me: Your bonkers! My profile says nothing of the sort!
Him: I need you please
Me: Your a creep, leave me alone!
Him: Please I really fancy you doing it to me
Me: Fuck off
Him: I really want you doing it not anyone else
Him: If you fancy doing it let me know
Me: You clearly don't understand the word no!
Him: I only want u to do it if u don't mind please xxx
Me: And I want you to piss off!
Him: You don't understand my feeling
Him: Please don't hurt my feeling
Me: I wouldn't hurt your feelings if you didn't harass for things I don't do!
Him: Please I really need u to help me
Him: I want u only to do it
Me: Have you escaped from a mental hospital?
Him: You don't even care
Me: Your right, I don't care!
Him: To help me out
Him: Cause I have feeling
Me: You need a doctor not an escort!
Him: I am really upset
Him: My doctor will be you
Him: To give me a hard hit
Him: Do you think what I've asked for is weird
Me: No I don't think what you've asked for is weird, I just don't do these things. I think your weird!
Him: Please don't be angry
Him: I have a crush on you to do that to me
Him: So what should I do
Him: I had to tell you
Him: I am really sorry
Him: You are a nice person
Him: Sorry if I've been a pest
Him: Or a weirdo
Him: Really been thinking of doing this for a long time
Him: Long long time
Him: And I picked you cause I fancy u
Him: Forgive me
Him: xxxxx
Him: I like u a lot
Me: STOP TEXTING ME!
Him: Do u hate guys like me
Me: I hate pests and weirdos, I'm blocking your number now.

Why didn't i block his number long before I did? Cause I'm obviously as nuts as him  ::)

Any ladies in Glasgow want this guys number, send me a PM
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 20 February 2015, 06:22:30 am
 :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF

I don't know whether to laugh or cry reading this thread!

That is all......... :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roxy666 on 20 February 2015, 12:38:27 pm
Text today from a guy who has previously contacted me making a booking then cancelled on the day, he had also already been told after asking lots of the usual questions that the information is already on my profile.

Him : Hi are you working today?

me : yeah I will be a bit later, would you like a booking?

Him : What time are you free at?

(My hours are on my profile and they don't change or vary)M

Me : from 12

Him :  I will try and make it at 1 if that is ok. Can I book 30 min and what the cost

Me : Sorry, no, that is not ok, if you would like an appointment, it needs to be set in stone just like any other appointment you may make with your doctor, hospital and so on. So is it definite for 1pm?
Half an hour is ?80. All my prices, working hours, FAQs and other relative information is on my profile, please familiarise yourself with it. Thanks xox

Surprise surprise he didn't reply, I got the feeling he would cancel again anyway. I hate repeating myself, hence why my availability and prices are on my profile! Some of them are just lazy! Plus, try and make it at 1pm!? Yeah, I'll just turn down all other clients on the possibility you might show up. Some how they seem to think booking an appointment with us doesn't require the same etiquette as an appointment anywhere else. :FF :FF

Numpties the lot of them, lol xox
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 20 February 2015, 12:41:05 pm
You've got more patience than me, I always refer to my profile when they ask stuff that is already in it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roxy666 on 20 February 2015, 12:49:06 pm
I normally do just refer straight to the profile, but I thought I'd approach this occasion slightly differently, wasn't any better, so I'm reverting back to my original protocol. I find that genuine clients look at your prices at the very least. My working hours are on a different tab, but for this week I had them stated in my status to see if it made a difference and I still had twats asking for bookings outside my working hours. It doesn't matter what we do to help these eejits find the information, they will still some how miraculously miss it! Lol xox
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 20 February 2015, 03:04:21 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 20 February 2015, 12:41:05 pm
You've got more patience than me, I always refer to my profile when they ask stuff that is already in it.

I have a zero bullshit policy, I always judge my potential client based on how he comes across and how he approaches me (since they are complete strangers and there is no other way to judge them as a potential client) so I don't see anyone who hasn't read, understand and accepted what's on my profile. I have had some dreadful experiences in the past (back when I was new to it all) where guys would turn up thinking they can do whatever they want to me and expect things from me that I don't do, was extremely awkward and sometimes really intimidating when alone in a room with a stranger like that who you know is pissed off and disappointed cause he's not getting the things he ASSUMED he was going to be getting so now I just don't put up with it at all. My profile is very clear, whenever I take a booking, I always ask them if they have read my profile and are happy with everything and if someone phones me where it's clear they haven't a clue what day of the week it is nevermind  my profile, I just hang up on them and not because I am a rude person but quite simply because I am instantly put off by it and so therefor don't want to meet that person nor do I even know what to say to them half the time.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 20 February 2015, 05:01:53 pm
I turn away anyone I don't like the sound of. I only work part time so I don't waste my time with anyone I think is likely to take the piss or want to screw for the whole hour or even just couldn't be bothered to read my profile. 90% of the guys I send to read my profile I never hear from again.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 20 February 2015, 05:06:52 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 20 February 2015, 05:01:53 pm
I turn away anyone I don't like the sound of. I only work part time so I don't waste my time with anyone I think is likely to take the piss or want to screw for the whole hour or even just couldn't be bothered to read my profile. 90% of the guys I send to read my profile I never hear from again.

Yes I turn anyone away that I don't like the sound of too. Of course there will be many times where I've turned away a perfectly good client based on the tone of his voice or something silly he's done or said to put me off and that's my loss if I loose out on a good client but I would rather miss out on a few good clients than have my guard down and put myself in a really horrible situation.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 20 February 2015, 05:10:46 pm
I completely agree, it's just not worth the risk to safety. It's not like we're doing it to be difficult, it's our life that's on the line.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 20 February 2015, 05:45:30 pm
At least 9 of of 10 of phone enquiries are turned away for various reasons, it always amazes me the attitude of some men who think they can talk to a WG as if she is less than human and not deserving the basic human politeness of a hello, been doing this so long I can make my mind up within 3 seconds if the man on the other end of my phone is a viable future client.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 20 February 2015, 05:47:07 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 20 February 2015, 05:10:46 pm
I completely agree, it's just not worth the risk to safety. It's not like we're doing it to be difficult, it's our life that's on the line.

Totally, I've been told many times that I'm to choosy when all I am is a whore not taking into consideration that it's calling being SENSIBLE. Just because some escorts may have lower standards OR they may have someone else they share an apartment with so maybe don't have to worry so much about their safety OR some escorts may be completely desperate for the money and not thinking about the safety aspect but that doesn't mean we all operate like that. Anytime I refuse to see someone and they turn round and give me abuse......all it does is show my that my bad vibe about them was spot on x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 20 February 2015, 05:48:37 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 20 February 2015, 05:45:30 pm
At least 9 of of 10 of phone enquiries are turned away for various reasons, it always amazes me the attitude of some men who think they can talk to a WG as if she is less than human and not deserving the basic human politeness of a hello, been doing this so long I can make my mind up within 3 seconds if the man on the other end of my phone is a viable future client.

I ALWAYS say that 9 times out of 10, I don't even entertain the call. But luckily once I weed out all the idiots and morons.......9 times out of 10 my clients are really decent in person but it's always that 1 dodgy client in person that keeps you on your toes.

I can also tell within a couple of seconds whether or not the guy on the other end of the phone is the right client for me or not.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 20 February 2015, 06:41:42 pm
Quote from: Miss K xXx on 19 February 2015, 06:28:11 pm
Really creepy sounding guy phones me today originally asking how I am which is always nice so I asked him how he was too then he asked if he could ask me some questions to which I replied with yes but his voice just sounded really creepy so I was delighted when he asked me for a bunch of things I didn't do (such as strapon stuff and other anal related things) so I just hung up on him but then the texts followed......

Him: U don't love me
Him: I really like u a lot
Him: I have read ur prof said giving and that
Him: I want it with u
Me: Your bonkers! My profile says nothing of the sort!
Him: I need you please
Me: Your a creep, leave me alone!
Him: Please I really fancy you doing it to me
Me: Fuck off
Him: I really want you doing it not anyone else
Him: If you fancy doing it let me know
Me: You clearly don't understand the word no!
Him: I only want u to do it if u don't mind please xxx
Me: And I want you to piss off!
Him: You don't understand my feeling
Him: Please don't hurt my feeling
Me: I wouldn't hurt your feelings if you didn't harass for things I don't do!
Him: Please I really need u to help me
Him: I want u only to do it
Me: Have you escaped from a mental hospital?
Him: You don't even care
Me: Your right, I don't care!
Him: To help me out
Him: Cause I have feeling
Me: You need a doctor not an escort!
Him: I am really upset
Him: My doctor will be you
Him: To give me a hard hit
Him: Do you think what I've asked for is weird
Me: No I don't think what you've asked for is weird, I just don't do these things. I think your weird!
Him: Please don't be angry
Him: I have a crush on you to do that to me
Him: So what should I do
Him: I had to tell you
Him: I am really sorry
Him: You are a nice person
Him: Sorry if I've been a pest
Him: Or a weirdo
Him: Really been thinking of doing this for a long time
Him: Long long time
Him: And I picked you cause I fancy u
Him: Forgive me
Him: xxxxx
Him: I like u a lot
Me: STOP TEXTING ME!
Him: Do u hate guys like me
Me: I hate pests and weirdos, I'm blocking your number now.

Why didn't i block his number long before I did? Cause I'm obviously as nuts as him  ::)

Any ladies in Glasgow want this guys number, send me a PM

miss K Hes clearly got access to your site  from inside a psychiatric unit ...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 20 February 2015, 06:48:21 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 20 February 2015, 05:45:30 pm
At least 9 of of 10 of phone enquiries are turned away for various reasons, it always amazes me the attitude of some men who think they can talk to a WG as if she is less than human and not deserving the basic human politeness of a hello, been doing this so long I can make my mind up within 3 seconds if the man on the other end of my phone is a viable future client.

Exactly!

I listen for a happy tone of voice. And they can't say or do anything stupid. Simple. Be a happy person and don't say or ask anything stupid. It's amazing how many men fail to do this.

And I will take bookings via text - idiots almost always fail to come across as decent fellows. The odd one slips through but really, the ones with shit attitudes will show their hand.

And with time and practice you can start to see all sorts of little warnings that this will be a problem booking. Sometimes dumb things that don't even seem directly related to anything. Like asking me to wear heavy makeup. There's no logical reason why that is more time-wastery than asking me to wear stockings but experience has shown this to be so.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 20 February 2015, 07:28:38 pm
I had a normal 1 hour booking with a guy, he made a block booking so paid for 3 upfront. He had to cancel the 2 hour booking for today, in discussing rearranging he sent this:

"As you have agreed to rearrange I think that you should be completely in charge for the whole 2 hours. It's your time now and I will do as I am told to please you. So if you just want oral for 2 hours, only receiving no giving, if you want to pee on me or in my mouth and make me drink it, on my clothes and send me home in them, covered in the smell of your cum on the rain home, tied up and at your mercy, basically whatever, it's your time and I will endeavour to please. Let me know what days suit you and we can take it from there. doesn't have to be a Friday"

I offer no dom services on my profile, for good reason. It's not something I can do without laughing and it would make the booking seriously drag for me. I much prefer a natural GFE with some chatting etc.

Where on earth did he get the idea I would do this from the previous GFE booking we had?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 20 February 2015, 07:46:38 pm
Quote from: Exotic flower on 20 February 2015, 06:41:42 pm
Quote from: Miss K xXx on 19 February 2015, 06:28:11 pm
Really creepy sounding guy phones me today originally asking how I am which is always nice so I asked him how he was too then he asked if he could ask me some questions to which I replied with yes but his voice just sounded really creepy so I was delighted when he asked me for a bunch of things I didn't do (such as strapon stuff and other anal related things) so I just hung up on him but then the texts followed......

Him: U don't love me
Him: I really like u a lot
Him: I have read ur prof said giving and that
Him: I want it with u
Me: Your bonkers! My profile says nothing of the sort!
Him: I need you please
Me: Your a creep, leave me alone!
Him: Please I really fancy you doing it to me
Me: Fuck off
Him: I really want you doing it not anyone else
Him: If you fancy doing it let me know
Me: You clearly don't understand the word no!
Him: I only want u to do it if u don't mind please xxx
Me: And I want you to piss off!
Him: You don't understand my feeling
Him: Please don't hurt my feeling
Me: I wouldn't hurt your feelings if you didn't harass for things I don't do!
Him: Please I really need u to help me
Him: I want u only to do it
Me: Have you escaped from a mental hospital?
Him: You don't even care
Me: Your right, I don't care!
Him: To help me out
Him: Cause I have feeling
Me: You need a doctor not an escort!
Him: I am really upset
Him: My doctor will be you
Him: To give me a hard hit
Him: Do you think what I've asked for is weird
Me: No I don't think what you've asked for is weird, I just don't do these things. I think your weird!
Him: Please don't be angry
Him: I have a crush on you to do that to me
Him: So what should I do
Him: I had to tell you
Him: I am really sorry
Him: You are a nice person
Him: Sorry if I've been a pest
Him: Or a weirdo
Him: Really been thinking of doing this for a long time
Him: Long long time
Him: And I picked you cause I fancy u
Him: Forgive me
Him: xxxxx
Him: I like u a lot
Me: STOP TEXTING ME!
Him: Do u hate guys like me
Me: I hate pests and weirdos, I'm blocking your number now.

Why didn't i block his number long before I did? Cause I'm obviously as nuts as him  ::)

Any ladies in Glasgow want this guys number, send me a PM

miss K Hes clearly got access to your site  from inside a psychiatric unit ...

Oh don't I know it lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 20 February 2015, 07:52:18 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 20 February 2015, 07:28:38 pm
I had a normal 1 hour booking with a guy, he made a block booking so paid for 3 upfront. He had to cancel the 2 hour booking for today, in discussing rearranging he sent this:

"As you have agreed to rearrange I think that you should be completely in charge for the whole 2 hours. It's your time now and I will do as I am told to please you. So if you just want oral for 2 hours, only receiving no giving, if you want to pee on me or in my mouth and make me drink it, on my clothes and send me home in them, covered in the smell of your cum on the rain home, tied up and at your mercy, basically whatever, it's your time and I will endeavour to please. Let me know what days suit you and we can take it from there. doesn't have to be a Friday"

I offer no dom services on my profile, for good reason. It's not something I can do without laughing and it would make the booking seriously drag for me. I much prefer a natural GFE with some chatting etc.

Where on earth did he get the idea I would do this from the previous GFE booking we had?!

I believe that a genuine submissive man will go to a proper dom lady.

That guy sounds like he's more into humiliation, I find that these gimps get off on our reaction at their stupid requests that they know for a fact we don't do the things they want.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 20 February 2015, 07:54:26 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 20 February 2015, 07:28:38 pm
I had a normal 1 hour booking with a guy, he made a block booking so paid for 3 upfront. He had to cancel the 2 hour booking for today, in discussing rearranging he sent this:

"As you have agreed to rearrange I think that you should be completely in charge for the whole 2 hours. It's your time now and I will do as I am told to please you. So if you just want oral for 2 hours, only receiving no giving, if you want to pee on me or in my mouth and make me drink it, on my clothes and send me home in them, covered in the smell of your cum on the rain home, tied up and at your mercy, basically whatever, it's your time and I will endeavour to please. Let me know what days suit you and we can take it from there. doesn't have to be a Friday"

I offer no dom services on my profile, for good reason. It's not something I can do without laughing and it would make the booking seriously drag for me. I much prefer a natural GFE with some chatting etc.

Where on earth did he get the idea I would do this from the previous GFE booking we had?!

Although he's almost certainly  just a time-waster, I would be tempted to reply with "OK! I'll see what my mood dictates on the day!" And then if he showed, I would tell him that I want to sit and read a book so please be quiet.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 20 February 2015, 07:55:13 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 20 February 2015, 07:54:26 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 20 February 2015, 07:28:38 pm
I had a normal 1 hour booking with a guy, he made a block booking so paid for 3 upfront. He had to cancel the 2 hour booking for today, in discussing rearranging he sent this:

"As you have agreed to rearrange I think that you should be completely in charge for the whole 2 hours. It's your time now and I will do as I am told to please you. So if you just want oral for 2 hours, only receiving no giving, if you want to pee on me or in my mouth and make me drink it, on my clothes and send me home in them, covered in the smell of your cum on the rain home, tied up and at your mercy, basically whatever, it's your time and I will endeavour to please. Let me know what days suit you and we can take it from there. doesn't have to be a Friday"

I offer no dom services on my profile, for good reason. It's not something I can do without laughing and it would make the booking seriously drag for me. I much prefer a natural GFE with some chatting etc.

Where on earth did he get the idea I would do this from the previous GFE booking we had?!

Although he's almost certainly  just a time-waster, I would be tempted to reply with "OK! I'll see what my mood dictates on the day!" And then if he showed, I would tell him that I want to sit and read a book so please be quiet.

OMG hahahahahaha  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 20 February 2015, 08:08:36 pm
I'm pretty sure he isn't a timewaster as the booking is paid for already. If I thought he was wasting my time I would have told him we'd just be watching big bang theory then lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 21 February 2015, 05:47:20 pm
I would seem to be a timewaster magnet at the moment:

Quote
Hello ****,

I was hoping to arrange a booking for tomorrow or Sunday afternoon? I need to film a quick video if possible. Here's the specs...

* Require x2 models (yourself and a duo female)
* Will probably take about 30 minutes
* The scene will involve no sex, just subtle foreplay and role play
* Needs to be shot outdoor (a secluded garden, private)

Let me know if interested and I can tell you more and give you my number etc.

Much thanks! Jason x

I replied with:

Quote
Filming is not specified on my profile. Neither are duos. So why waste both our time? I'm an escort. Not a porn star.

I'd normally just ignore this stuff, but I'm getting so many lately that I'm losing my patience with them. This guy managed to list everything I DON'T do, hardsports was pretty much the only thing missing!

He replied with:
Quote
I do apologise. Just a suggestion.

I. Give. Up.  :FF
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 21 February 2015, 07:33:12 pm
LONG email from some guy listing all of his helpful talents and 'how he would be an asset to me' ....no mention of an actual booking and this: '...I'd be happy to be loaned out to Your Dominant Friends too, as I love to serve!'

So not only a freebie hunter but one who expects me to get them freebies from others!!!  ::)

*straight into the bin!*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 21 February 2015, 09:45:36 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 21 February 2015, 05:47:20 pm
I would seem to be a timewaster magnet at the moment:

Quote
Hello ****,

I was hoping to arrange a booking for tomorrow or Sunday afternoon? I need to film a quick video if possible. Here's the specs...

* Require x2 models (yourself and a duo female)
* Will probably take about 30 minutes
* The scene will involve no sex, just subtle foreplay and role play
* Needs to be shot outdoor (a secluded garden, private)

Let me know if interested and I can tell you more and give you my number etc.

Much thanks! Jason x

I replied with:

Quote
Filming is not specified on my profile. Neither are duos. So why waste both our time? I'm an escort. Not a porn star.

I'd normally just ignore this stuff, but I'm getting so many lately that I'm losing my patience with them. This guy managed to list everything I DON'T do, hardsports was pretty much the only thing missing!

He replied with:
Quote
I do apologise. Just a suggestion.

I. Give. Up.  :FF

I have this problem. I try my absolute best to ignore idiots but there's always someone I'm going to loose my patience with. Last time I told someone to fuck off (for asking me to see them for ?50) he then went on a slated me on another forum and I got called all the nasty names under the sun for having a bad attitude and being unprofessional blah blah blah yet I have endless amounts of positive reviews all over the net about my attitude, personality and service from clients who are normal. I can't help it if I snap at someone who is quite clearly......an idiot.

I feel like I don't owe idiots my time and good nature, they aren't clients of mine and never will be unless of course they trick me into a booking like many have in the past.

A good, decent and normal guy will never see the snappy side of me but the rest I don't care about.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: alice842 on 21 February 2015, 09:58:03 pm
Two emails today:

'I am looking to have my first sex time with you'

and a client I met a handful of times last year, who's sent about 3 emails in the last month asking for a booking that evening (clearly says on my profile I need a days notice). I HATE it when you meet a client once and he thinks he can start bending all the rules >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 22 February 2015, 02:19:31 pm
Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 15 February 2015, 07:10:32 pm

When I got ones like that I used to respond with.

"I'm clean and tested too ..... And use latex free condoms, so no problem there" ....

So, as it turns out I got the opportunity to try this reply out last night!

Exact same guy again:
Quote
Hiya babe,are you free for an incall? would you be ok to start off without as I'm allergic to condoms but can finish outside if you like. Xx rob

To which I replied:

Quote
That's ok. I have latex free condoms so your allergy doesn't require us to do it without! :)

X x

As expected, there was another issue with using condoms!
Quote
I tried but I cant use them as I they make me impotent.Without sounds good though x

I don't recall offering without....  ???

And the creeps just keep coming. I'm advance booking only right now and I haven't had a legitimate inquiry (where he has actually read my profile too) in over a week.

Oh, and another this morning listing every single thing that I don't offer:

Quote
HI.

My wife and I are looking for a girl for fun. It will be her first time with a woman, but we want it to be kinky. To give you an idea, she wants to be smothered, watch me spank whip both you and her. Also she would like to spank you and have you deep throat while she eats you out. Ending with you eating my spunk from her hole.

Does this sound like fun to you? Let us know.

xxx
C&L
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 22 February 2015, 03:09:32 pm
My phone is usually switched off by midnight, but I left it on last night. Someone called it three times between about 1 and 2.30am. I just ignored it. Went to bed at about 3.10, and a few minutes later he rang again.

I was so annoyed I answered - well spoken bloke, asking if I was still working. I gave him short shrift, and said 'What sort of person calls someone FOUR TIMES in the middle of the night?!' He apologised for bothering me quite sincerely...

It wouldn't perplex me so much but I'm a middle-aged woman living in the suburbs, not a party girl in the centre of a big city!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 22 February 2015, 03:39:44 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 22 February 2015, 03:09:32 pm
My phone is usually switched off by midnight, but I left it on last night. Someone called it three times between about 1 and 2.30am. I just ignored it. Went to bed at about 3.10, and a few minutes later he rang again.

I was so annoyed I answered - well spoken bloke, asking if I was still working. I gave him short shrift, and said 'What sort of person calls someone FOUR TIMES in the middle of the night?!' He apologised for bothering me quite sincerely...

It wouldn't perplex me so much but I'm a middle-aged woman living in the suburbs, not a party girl in the centre of a big city!

I live in a big city centre and I'm in my 20's and I like to have fun with my friends but I have a zero tolerance for anyone phoning me after midnight.

I don't answer the phone after 10pm cause I don't think anyone decent would phone me after that time but phoning me at such ungodly hours after midnight is complete ignorance and I NEVER want to meet those people so I always leave my phone on but on silent so that when I wake up in the morning, I instantly block those numbers.

I don't know who the fuck they think they are to phone a girl in the middle of the nite nevermind several times.

I don't want to speak out of turn here with this site being for all kinds of escorts but I would think you would have to be pretty desperate to be working late/through the nite dealing with drunks and idiots because NOBODY decent and sober will phone you at 4am. I couldn't think of anything worse than dealing with those sorts of people. But each to their own.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 22 February 2015, 03:52:23 pm
Quote from: Miss K xXx on 22 February 2015, 03:39:44 pm
I don't want to speak out of turn here with this site being for all kinds of escorts but I would think you would have to be pretty desperate to be working late/through the nite dealing with drunks and idiots because NOBODY decent and sober will phone you at 4am. I couldn't think of anything worse than dealing with those sorts of people. But each to their own.

I don't think you're speaking out of turn as such, but I do think you're making unacceptable generalisations based on nothing in particular. 'Drunks and idiots' are around 24 hours a day just as 'decent and sober' people are - the key is to avoid punters who take no notice of your ads and pester you at times/for things that you have made clear aren't available. The details of what those times are aren't important whether it's ten am or ten pm, and I still get people trying to call on Sundays despite my ads making it clear I don't work or have my phone on.

I've been wide awake with jet lag at all times of the day and night, worked shifts and kept all sorts of different hours - I've seen punters from 6am reasonably regularly which many wouldn't do and I'm certainly not 'desperate'. Working hours to suit you is what everybody does, and whilst I don't see people under the influence (or drink when I'm working) I don't judge people who do as everybody's boundaries and preferences are different. If I advertised as being available from midnight to 8am, I'd be pissed off if punters were ringing me at 11 in the morning.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 22 February 2015, 04:06:31 pm
Quote from: amy on 22 February 2015, 03:52:23 pm
Quote from: Miss K xXx on 22 February 2015, 03:39:44 pm
I don't want to speak out of turn here with this site being for all kinds of escorts but I would think you would have to be pretty desperate to be working late/through the nite dealing with drunks and idiots because NOBODY decent and sober will phone you at 4am. I couldn't think of anything worse than dealing with those sorts of people. But each to their own.

I don't think you're speaking out of turn as such, but I do think you're making unacceptable generalisations based on nothing in particular. 'Drunks and idiots' are around 24 hours a day just as 'decent and sober' people are - the key is to avoid punters who take no notice of your ads and pester you at times/for things that you have made clear aren't available. The details of what those times are aren't important whether it's ten am or ten pm, and I still get people trying to call on Sundays despite my ads making it clear I don't work or have my phone on.

I've been wide awake with jet lag at all times of the day and night, worked shifts and kept all sorts of different hours - I've seen punters from 6am reasonably regularly which many wouldn't do and I'm certainly not 'desperate'. Working hours to suit you is what everybody does, and whilst I don't see people under the influence (or drink when I'm working) I don't judge people who do as everybody's boundaries and preferences are different. If I advertised as being available from midnight to 8am, I'd be pissed off if punters were ringing me at 11 in the morning.

Ah you know what I mean though. Even although you get drunks 24 hours a day, a drunk guy phoning you at a normal time is a lot rarer than a sober guy phoning you in the middle of the nite.

As far as I'm concerned, anyone who calls a person after midnight is a complete tool. No respectful person would phone another person at those hours. It's not normal.

I wouldn't phone anyone after 10pm or before 9am on a weekday and if it was a Sunday then I wouldn't phone anyone before 12.

I guess we all work differently and have different opinions on what's acceptable behaviour or not. I just have a zero bullshit or rudeness policy and it works well for me.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 22 February 2015, 04:17:33 pm
Quote from: Miss K xXx on 22 February 2015, 04:06:31 pm
Ah you know what I mean though. Even although you get drunks 24 hours a day, a drunk guy phoning you at a normal time is a lot rarer than a sober guy phoning you in the middle of the nite.

As far as I'm concerned, anyone who calls a person after midnight is a complete tool. No respectful person would phone another person at those hours. It's not normal.

I wouldn't phone anyone after 10pm or before 9am on a weekday and if it was a Sunday then I wouldn't phone anyone before 12.

I guess we all work differently and have different opinions on what's acceptable behaviour or not.I just have a zero bullshit or rudeness policy and it works well for me.

xx

Well the bits I've put in bold are the bits where I think you've missed the point - if somebody clearly advertises that they work and are happy to take calls after midnight, then anybody phoning them then is keeping to the terms offered and therefore not 'a tool'. What you're talking about is people who ignore the ads; the only time I have ever had to physically remove a punter from my flat was when one turned up drunk at two in the afternoon. The problem wasn't anything to do with the time of day, the problem was that I didn't spot he was pissed when he phoned.

As for the second part, I daresay virtually all of the posters here (including me) have an identical policy. It might not be the same as yours, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist nor that it isn't equally valid. Stone cold sober people can be unspeakably rude and vile, and drunk people (if you don't mind them) can be perfectly easygoing and pleasant. Either way we are not here to judge how others work.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 22 February 2015, 04:49:50 pm
I had a nightmare with someone who I'd seen 3 times last year, he booked for 8pm one time and turned up with bottle of Baileys. We drunk quite a bit of it then in the middle of a bj he fell asleep! I woke him up then it happened again. It sounds funny but he was snoring and we had about 15 mins until the hour was up but after 15 mins he was still snoring. I then shoved him, he said I'll go in a minute, then slept again. Although I knew him I thought how am I gonna get rid of him and panicked. So I literally got the throw he was lying on and tipped him off the bed. I said you're taking advantage of my good nature, you say you're a lawyer but look how you've behaved with me blah blah. He left quietly thank gawd.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 23 February 2015, 12:19:46 pm
Today's suspected cut and paste job comes from this guy,

"hello I'm Sam, 23,iv just seen your profile and you look beautiful,are you free. Today for 2hours and where are you based

This will be my first time with a escort and I'm a shy man

Is it ok I cum quick? I want to shown a good time with lots of different sex positions and take me to a new levels and anal .. Also iv got a beard is that ok?"

My location is on my profile which also states I don't offer anal. Also when they've had an AW profile for 3 years you can't help wonder how I would be their first escort!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 23 February 2015, 07:02:11 pm
So today another timewaster called jay that will not be getting a booking  called me for gfe lingerie request at first  oh and would I wear pvc and would I spank him.
doesn't sound like gfe to me!!
but I don't book anyone called jay as its been a curse ive had over 17 of them call to book and not one has ever turned up its probably same one with different sim card
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 23 February 2015, 09:06:20 pm
Have to agree about the Jay thing until I had a lovely outcall with a Jay last year and with him again last month, so I've let the curse go although it has only been one  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 23 February 2015, 09:17:46 pm
Quote from: Bluetits on 23 February 2015, 09:06:20 pm
Have to agree about the Jay thing until I had a lovely outcall with a Jay last year and with him again last month, so I've let the curse go although it has only been one  :P
oh you are lucky to get one turn up called jay it wont be one of mine though lol !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 23 February 2015, 09:36:38 pm
urbprices for the hour, isbthat for both of u?:x  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 23 February 2015, 10:17:09 pm
Quote from: Exotic flower on 23 February 2015, 07:02:11 pm
So today another timewaster called jay that will not be getting a booking  called me for gfe lingerie request at first  oh and would I wear pvc and would I spank him.
doesn't sound like gfe to me!!
but I don't book anyone called jay as its been a curse ive had over 17 of them call to book and not one has ever turned up its probably same one with different sim card

That is REALLY weird! Any time someone phones me up for a booking and says their name is Jay, my blood runs a bit cold.

Purely because I have yet to meet a Jay, every single one being a timewaster!

Are you anywhere near Glasgow?

xx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sassy27 on 24 February 2015, 11:13:52 am
One I has recently that really pissed me off "I pay you 40 for owo and CIM.  Postcode please" ...... Cheeky f***ker. I say how much, I say what I do and won't do thanks darling!!!! Grrrr
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cheryl87 on 24 February 2015, 11:19:41 am
Quote from: Miss K xXx on 23 February 2015, 10:17:09 pm
Quote from: Exotic flower on 23 February 2015, 07:02:11 pm
So today another timewaster called jay that will not be getting a booking  called me for gfe lingerie request at first  oh and would I wear pvc and would I spank him.
doesn't sound like gfe to me!!
but I don't book anyone called jay as its been a curse ive had over 17 of them call to book and not one has ever turned up its probably same one with different sim card

That is REALLY weird! Any time someone phones me up for a booking and says their name is Jay, my blood runs a bit cold.

Purely because I have yet to meet a Jay, every single one being a timewaster!

Are you anywhere near Glasgow?

xx

I am the same!!!! "Jay" or "Jai" - they never turn up! All giving that name have been complete timewasters. Also there seems to be a disproportionate amount of  Pauls, Scotts and Stevens!!! not TW though!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 24 February 2015, 01:23:30 pm
Quote from: sassy27 on 24 February 2015, 11:13:52 am
One I has recently that really pissed me off "I pay you 40 for owo and CIM.  Postcode please" ...... Cheeky f***ker. I say how much, I say what I do and won't do thanks darling!!!! Grrrr

Last time I got this type of message (don't even do those services) and he offered me ?25 for a 15 min booking (which I don't do) I gave him the postcode and door number for the Police Headquarters in Glasgow. He text back saying he will be there in 5 mins so I then blocked his number, the daft idiot wouldn't have been too pleased but then again I wasn't too pleased with his offensive, presumptuous text message either.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 24 February 2015, 01:25:08 pm
Text (My ads say NO TEXTS, all over them  ::)

''Hi i am ask work today ?''

Then...

''I vant to buk apointment''
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 24 February 2015, 01:27:54 pm
Another stupid text..

''let me know when ur free i want to come see you x''

Then..

''give me a tx whn u wake up x''

Yeah right!  You sound like a bloody kid...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EnglishRoseOfDerby on 24 February 2015, 02:32:00 pm
Just had a client wanting a car meet, when deined he then said my only option is my garage.. Wouod that be ojay, no one woukd see and we could lock the doors... :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 24 February 2015, 02:39:06 pm
I also say no texts. There was one waiting for me when I woke up this morning asking for my address! Like I'm going to tell you without a booking. I'm sure some guys just think they can get our address and turn up when they feel like it. My general location is on all my ads anyway so it's not like someone could be asking to work out how long it would take to get to me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 24 February 2015, 04:02:55 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 24 February 2015, 02:39:06 pm
I also say no texts. There was one waiting for me when I woke up this morning asking for my address! Like I'm going to tell you without a booking. I'm sure some guys just think they can get our address and turn up when they feel like it. My general location is on all my ads anyway so it's not like someone could be asking to work out how long it would take to get to me.

Yeah I block the texts that ask for my address and hang up and block the guys who phone me asking for my address before they have even said hello. It amazes me how so many people in the world don't have the very basic social skills x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rubyruby on 24 February 2015, 05:23:09 pm
My friend was sent this today on aw  ;D

Hi, this may seem an odd request but I've been looking for a girl who could dress up like tinker bell for my 3 year old daughters birthday party. I've been searching all over to find the perfect girl to play her and you look amazing. I can provide the costume or you can buy your own. How much would you charge for this?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 24 February 2015, 05:33:30 pm
Quote from: Kendallx on 24 February 2015, 05:23:09 pm
My friend was sent this today on aw  ;D

Hi, this may seem an odd request but I've been looking for a girl who could dress up like tinker bell for my 3 year old daughters birthday party. I've been searching all over to find the perfect girl to play her and you look amazing. I can provide the costume or you can buy your own. How much would you charge for this?
What the actual Feck?!?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rubyruby on 24 February 2015, 06:44:15 pm
Quote from: bibi on 24 February 2015, 05:33:30 pm
Quote from: Kendallx on 24 February 2015, 05:23:09 pm
My friend was sent this today on aw  ;D

Hi, this may seem an odd request but I've been looking for a girl who could dress up like tinker bell for my 3 year old daughters birthday party. I've been searching all over to find the perfect girl to play her and you look amazing. I can provide the costume or you can buy your own. How much would you charge for this?
What the actual Feck?!?

Leeds=twighlight zone
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 24 February 2015, 07:19:50 pm
Yep had a delightful round of emails from a guy who in his own words 'wanted to rim me then put it in my arse'
I pointed out that I don't offer anal.He then offered me ?500 to let him and when I told him to trot on then told me 'I could say goodbye to ?500'.
Assclown!Leeds...we have a special type of fucknugget timewaster!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 24 February 2015, 08:05:11 pm
Quote from: bibi on 24 February 2015, 05:33:30 pm
Quote from: Kendallx on 24 February 2015, 05:23:09 pm
My friend was sent this today on aw  ;D

Hi, this may seem an odd request but I've been looking for a girl who could dress up like tinker bell for my 3 year old daughters birthday party. I've been searching all over to find the perfect girl to play her and you look amazing. I can provide the costume or you can buy your own. How much would you charge for this?
What the actual Feck?!?

Uft, just when you think you've heard it all  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissDee on 24 February 2015, 10:53:02 pm
Today i received the following email.

'Really disappointed,booked train tickets to Chester on 28th of Feb especially to see you as you advertised on this site that you'd be there. Really bad form.'


I changed my tour location for this weekend just because i felt like it.
This guy has pissed me off 'bad form' ?? He took it upon him self to buy tickets no booking or contact was made prior to this, this is one of the reasons i refuse to take advance bookings as i do change my mind or some times things change or happen. I'v Yet to reply i usually ignore idiots but i just feel like he needs to be told so i want to word it right.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mimi_ on 25 February 2015, 01:10:18 am
Hello there, thank you for contacting me. I obviously already knew that you would, as we are both psychic. With varying success. You predicted that I would know that you wanted that day and that time without asking but missed predicting the bit where I had no idea what you were on about.

I (unsuccessfully) predicted that you would actually make contact with me before booking train tickets, rather than relying on my not very good psychic ability.

Sorry.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 25 February 2015, 08:49:37 am
Text convo yesterday started off reasonably normal, him negotiating time and day we came to an agreement on that, then he asks about a dress I had mentioned on a blog and did I have a picture of it, I did on my profile so that was ok he liked that. Then he asks
Do you do bareback,
Me: does it sound like I do from my profile. Did you read my profile, you know the bit about my sexual health.
Him: a lot of women say that but you'd be surprised how many change their minds when offered more money, so by me asking it filters them out.
Me, and you expect me to believe that. Sorry but you have just raised a red flag to me.
Him, I am not a lier its true.
I am with a client now for the next hour but the text still came in.

Him, so is that it then.
Him, can we start again please.
Him, hello
Him, sorry I'd like to start again please.
Him, I'll take that as a no then.
Me. Goodness me I have been with a client
Him, sorry I would like to start again.
Him, sorry can I just ask, are you Married.
 
Well that's one that's not going to happen.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 25 February 2015, 09:56:05 am
Quote from: mimi_ on 25 February 2015, 01:10:18 am
Hello there, thank you for contacting me. I obviously already knew that you would, as we are both psychic. With varying success. You predicted that I would know that you wanted that day and that time without asking but missed predicting the bit where I had no idea what you were on about.

I (unsuccessfully) predicted that you would actually make contact with me before booking train tickets, rather than relying on my not very good psychic ability.

Sorry.

lol though I think that would just confuse the hell out of him!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 25 February 2015, 11:05:42 am
He booked train tickets without even making contact? That guy is a loon.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 25 February 2015, 11:42:25 am
Recieved today this email today.

i notice you like being rimmed on your likes?

I have ?20 free today could i cum and have a 15 min appointment to just cum and do that to you? No oral or sex involved


Kind regards
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 25 February 2015, 03:19:53 pm
Quote from: mimi_ on 25 February 2015, 01:10:18 am
Hello there, thank you for contacting me. I obviously already knew that you would, as we are both psychic. With varying success. You predicted that I would know that you wanted that day and that time without asking but missed predicting the bit where I had no idea what you were on about.

I (unsuccessfully) predicted that you would actually make contact with me before booking train tickets, rather than relying on my not very good psychic ability.

Sorry.

 :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissDee on 25 February 2015, 07:46:36 pm
Quote from: mimi_ on 25 February 2015, 01:10:18 am
Hello there, thank you for contacting me. I obviously already knew that you would, as we are both psychic. With varying success. You predicted that I would know that you wanted that day and that time without asking but missed predicting the bit where I had no idea what you were on about.

I (unsuccessfully) predicted that you would actually make contact with me before booking train tickets, rather than relying on my not very good psychic ability.

Sorry.


Think this would be beyond the capacity of his thick mind i did reply saying some thing along those lines though lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 26 February 2015, 06:01:15 am
hi would you see me  bit shy and not very big willy so I do get a bit embarrassed thanks xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 26 February 2015, 04:11:21 pm
Three texts from the same person over a couple of months - I've never replied to any of them, mostly because I have no idea what he is on about!

If u English women message me I can help u free money 

U my bass

If u nere I give u free money all tha tame becau I like u bass if u adkinkg me I ur manegar free money kiss ur brest
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 27 February 2015, 07:48:24 pm
I have another Jay to add to the pile of timewasters! He got in touch 3 weeks ago wanting to meet tonight and I asked him to get back in touch 1 week before. He then got in touch two weeks before and I told him to get in touch 1 week before. I didn't hear from him last week and his booking would have been around about now and still not a peep!

Looking at my past TWers I've only had one previous Jay who didn't show up, so not as unlucky with Jay's as some of the ladies above!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 27 February 2015, 09:27:29 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 27 February 2015, 07:48:24 pm
I have another Jay to add to the pile of timewasters! He got in touch 3 weeks ago wanting to meet tonight and I asked him to get back in touch 1 week before. He then got in touch two weeks before and I told him to get in touch 1 week before. I didn't hear from him last week and his booking would have been around about now and still not a peep!

Looking at my past TWers I've only had one previous Jay who didn't show up, so not as unlucky with Jay's as some of the ladies above!

I wouldn't personally call that a timewaster cause he didn't get back in touch when you told him to so therefor the booking wasn't actually made.

Same as a client can't call us a timewaster if we don't confirm a booking.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 28 February 2015, 12:32:06 pm
Text at 4.05am -

''Text me when ur awak''
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mimi_ on 01 March 2015, 01:19:57 am
Quote from: Clarabella on 28 February 2015, 12:32:06 pm
Text at 4.05am -

''Text me when ur awak''

Ooh sounds very tempting! Hope you snapped him up  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss-M on 01 March 2015, 07:21:29 am
Quote from: Just An Escort on 26 February 2015, 04:11:21 pm
Three texts from the same person over a couple of months - I've never replied to any of them, mostly because I have no idea what he is on about!

If u English women message me I can help u free money 

U my bass

If u nere I give u free money all tha tame becau I like u bass if u adkinkg me I ur manegar free money kiss ur brest

Now this ones confusing is he asking for a free booking or is he wanting you to go fishing with him?  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 01 March 2015, 08:41:35 pm
Not exactly the worlds worst- but...

From AW: Recently my bedroom has been taken over some relatives, so I don't get regular access to my computer to watch porn and enjoy my regular wanking sessions, every time I log on someone comes into the room and I have to click on another page, even when am ready to cum I have to hold back and pretend am doing research or homework! It really frustrating and I was wondering if you were available as am curious to try an elder experienced women and I think I have a lot of load to give plus I need some big tits and a big bum!

1. Why the background info?! Am I meant to be excited at the thought of his aged aunt wandering in to catch him beating one out?
2. "Elder" does he mean older or eldery! Pah, not the way into my knickers!
3.  "A lot of load"! Bleurgh!
4.  Do I tell him despite my big tits I have a crap flat bottom?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 01 March 2015, 09:47:04 pm
I think he was wanking himself into oblivion while he was emailing you that daft email. He sounds about 15 years old x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 01 March 2015, 11:49:45 pm
Just received a text.....

Him: Hi K, you up for bareback all holes and cum swallow

Me: Fuck off you cretin! (As much as I would love to ignore, i couldn't help it)

Him: Cretin, haha, so I'm the piece of shit for asking? Your selling yourself and I'm the scumbag? I'm 8 years older than you and clean. Yeah what a fucking cretin I am eh!

Me: I may sell myself but I go about it in a clean way, I don't even do oral without a condom nevermind all the manky stuff your asking for. Yes you are a cretin for sending filthy texts out and bothering girls who are minding their own business with your requests and you won't stay clean if you go around barebacking prostitutes, that's if you haven't already got something nasty!

Him: Minding your own business, you put your number on the Internet and you also just admitted your a prostitute. I got tested last month and ain't fucked anyone since "I'm clean" there's nothing out of order to ask a prostitute.

Me: Yes my phone number is on the Internet along with my profile that's aimed towards those I am compatible with and your bothering me out of hours. You clearly have fuck all going on in your life that you feel the need to bother me!

It went on a bit longer but fuck me, that pissed me off.

No disrespect to any ladies who offer any of the services listed but I don't advertise or offer them because they just aren't for me so naturally I'm offended at that shitey text. I've no dirty talk and no dirty pictures on my profile, there are hundreds of profiles that do and this arsehole pics me out of all of them.



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 02 March 2015, 05:53:24 am
Hi I was wondering if you could help me out

Recently my bedroom has been taken over some relatives, so I don't get regular access to my computer to watch porn and enjoy my regular wanking sessions, every time I log on someone comes into the room and I have to click on another page, even when am ready to cum I have to hold back and pretend am doing research or homework! It really frustrating and I was wondering if you were available as am curious to try an elder experienced women and I think I have a lot of load to give plus I need some big tits and a big bum!

Hope to hear from you soon
or Not !! ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 02 March 2015, 09:32:06 am
If you look up 2 posts.....you'll see he's doing the rounds with his copy and paste job x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 02 March 2015, 09:49:47 am
Quote from: Exotic flower on 02 March 2015, 05:53:24 am
Hi I was wondering if you could help me out

Recently my bedroom has been taken over some relatives, so I don't get regular access to my computer to watch porn and enjoy my regular wanking sessions, every time I log on someone comes into the room and I have to click on another page, even when am ready to cum I have to hold back and pretend am doing research or homework! It really frustrating and I was wondering if you were available as am curious to try an elder experienced women and I think I have a lot of load to give plus I need some big tits and a big bum!

Hope to hear from you soon
or Not !! ::)

And I thought I was the only one?!  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 02 March 2015, 09:56:06 am
Lazy bastards who can't be bothered to read profiles then try and claim the website wouldn't load! It loaded enough for you to get my number though!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 02 March 2015, 10:49:06 am
Quote from: Red KB on 02 March 2015, 09:56:06 am
Lazy bastards who can't be bothered to read profiles then try and claim the website wouldn't load! It loaded enough for you to get my number though!!!
I had one so lazy he couldn't even read my name..sent a text calling me Ruby! I thought maybe his autospeller was playing him up nope...he then launched into asking my location and what my rates are..told him to read my advert and he might get my name right as well.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 02 March 2015, 11:23:48 am
Quote from: bibi on 02 March 2015, 10:49:06 am
Quote from: Red KB on 02 March 2015, 09:56:06 am
Lazy bastards who can't be bothered to read profiles then try and claim the website wouldn't load! It loaded enough for you to get my number though!!!
I had one so lazy he couldn't even read my name..sent a text calling me Ruby! I thought maybe his autospeller was playing him up nope...he then launched into asking my location and what my rates are..told him to read my advert and he might get my name right as well.

Yep. Most recently I was called "Eve" and apparantly we're compatible because he used to be a hairdresser too  ??? (I have never been a hairdresser and my profile doesn't mention previous or current 'real-life' jobs) ... obviously someone who forgot to edit his copy & paste.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 02 March 2015, 11:26:50 am
Does anyone else hang up the phone when they phone you and ask who you are?

If they don't even know who I am and what day of the week it is then how do they know anything else?

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 02 March 2015, 01:40:05 pm
Ok just because sometimes I just really cannot resist...

Him: available?

Me: Hello, thank you for your message. If you don't even have the time to type a proper text then how would you have the time to come and see me? Regards. Charlotte

He later replied from a different phone number (I blocked him of course) that I was being rude and he was no longer interested. Oh boy, such a shame!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: firsttimer on 02 March 2015, 02:15:45 pm
Received a booking on Sunday morning at 5:54.
15 hour outcall for ?50 at 6:30 in Chessington.
I'm from Edinburgh.

I told him that unfortunately I couldn't make it then blocked him.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 02 March 2015, 02:19:21 pm
Quote from: firsttimer on 02 March 2015, 02:15:45 pm
Received a booking on Sunday morning at 5:54.
15 hour outcall for ?50 at 6:30 in Chessington.
I'm from Edinburgh.

I told him that unfortunately I couldn't make it then blocked him.  :FF

Haha, fuck sake!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 02 March 2015, 02:19:28 pm
Quote from: firsttimer on 02 March 2015, 02:15:45 pm
Received a booking on Sunday morning at 5:54.
15 hour outcall for ?50 at 6:30 in Chessington.
I'm from Edinburgh.

I told him that unfortunately I couldn't make it then blocked him.  :FF

Haha, fuck sake!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 02 March 2015, 02:19:35 pm
Quote from: firsttimer on 02 March 2015, 02:15:45 pm
Received a booking on Sunday morning at 5:54.
15 hour outcall for ?50 at 6:30 in Chessington.
I'm from Edinburgh.

I told him that unfortunately I couldn't make it then blocked him.  :FF

Haha, fuck sake!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 02 March 2015, 04:05:33 pm
I am going to hang up on the next person who calls and asks how much!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 02 March 2015, 04:12:56 pm
just had a nutter ask me to help him be castrated. :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 02 March 2015, 04:19:49 pm
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 02 March 2015, 04:12:56 pm
just had a nutter ask me to help him be castrated. :FF :FF :FF

Was he scottish by any chance? X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 02 March 2015, 04:19:56 pm
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 02 March 2015, 04:12:56 pm
just had a nutter ask me to help him be castrated. :FF :FF :FF

Was he scottish by any chance? X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 02 March 2015, 04:47:37 pm
Quote from: Miss K xXx on 02 March 2015, 04:19:56 pm
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 02 March 2015, 04:12:56 pm
just had a nutter ask me to help him be castrated. :FF :FF :FF

Was he scottish by any chance? X

I get emails too asking this but I don't think its restricted to Scotland.  These eejits are everywhere.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 02 March 2015, 04:48:58 pm
not sure was an email username MakeMeCuckold.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 02 March 2015, 05:25:42 pm
Yup that's the one, he is currently looking for someone who is or was a nurse or doctor!

He usually asks for you to do a shit on his face in somewhere public like a shop changing room after he's licked your boyfriends load of cum from your pussy. Clearly didn't do very well at physics in school.

Also looking for someone to fart on him for an entire hour, don't know how this is possible but he did say that you've to eat gassy foods so he clearly thinks it's possible!

The guys seriously FUCKED!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 02 March 2015, 05:40:42 pm
lol funny how after i blocked him i had an alert from adultwork about my pics being reported for being bad quailty lol there nothing of the sort!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 02 March 2015, 05:49:36 pm
Quote from: Miss K xXx on 02 March 2015, 11:26:50 am
Does anyone else hang up the phone when they phone you and ask who you are?

If they don't even know who I am and what day of the week it is then how do they know anything else?

xx
I take great pleasure in hanging up on a classic idiot whom has no clue at all..  then blocking them of course
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sienna92 on 03 March 2015, 08:03:26 am
Hi
I want to be a nude house cleaner and to make drinks and cook simple food and clean bathroom scrub floors hoover dust tidy up and any other work that might need doing as a totally nude slave.
I can work in the evenings and any time weekends.
If you are interested please let me know because I'd love to work for you.
Your slave.
John

 :FF clearly states I'm not available evenings or weekends on my profile. And my services are quite 'vanilla' I do not offer any dom/slave type bookings.
Fair play if he wants to pay me to clean my house naked I'm sure that would be an easy booking if he was genuine (not that I would feel comfortable with a complete stranger going through all my stuff 'cleaning') and he is obviously a time waster. 0 feed back and time waster notes on his profile.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 03 March 2015, 11:44:43 am
Quote from: sienna92 on 03 March 2015, 08:03:26 am
Hi
I want to be a nude house cleaner and to make drinks and cook simple food and clean bathroom scrub floors hoover dust tidy up and any other work that might need doing as a totally nude slave.
I can work in the evenings and any time weekends.
If you are interested please let me know because I'd love to work for you.
Your slave.
John

 :FF clearly states I'm not available evenings or weekends on my profile. And my services are quite 'vanilla' I do not offer any dom/slave type bookings.
Fair play if he wants to pay me to clean my house naked I'm sure that would be an easy booking if he was genuine (not that I would feel comfortable with a complete stranger going through all my stuff 'cleaning') and he is obviously a time waster. 0 feed back and time waster notes on his profile.  ::)

Genuine slaves WILL contact a genuine dom.

Fantasist timewasting weirdos deliberately contact the likes of you and me for a reaction, they get a hardon over being told to fuck off.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: StawberryFields on 03 March 2015, 12:19:55 pm
Spam email:

Hello there!
 
Thanks for reading my e-mail today - I hope you're well.
 
My name is Peter, I'm a content manager and talent scout for [Publishers] (specifically for Escort magazine)  My job is essentially search for new talent for our magazine.  When I find women in the adult industry who are 1) attractive and 2) willing to go that extra mile and willing to be potentially featured in our magazine I get in touch to see if they would be interested.
I can then send round one of our local agent contacts - usually a local employee of one of [redacted]'s subsideries or member of the adult industry who we know through mutual work connections.
 
Looking at your profile on Adultwork you look like a good candidate for our mag.  I'd like to get one of our guys round this week to meet you, ask a few questions, take a couple of photos with their phone and then we can put these in front of out Talent Manager, Stacey who will then possibly ask you to come down to the office for an official photo shoot and interview.
 
Please let me know if you are interested in this asap. Please also send one headshot of yourself.
 
Regards
Peter
 
[PLEASE NOTE] It has been noted in the past that certain sexual acts have been performed on our local agents during these meetings, whilst this is not directly encouraged the selection process is facilitated by the local agents actually sending me these photos. Please bear that in mind when meeting the agent - in our industry - a little sex goes a long way and it never hurts for the agent to leave with a smile on his face.
Peter Howe
Freelance Content Manager/Scout
[Publisher's]

My favourite bit is where it encourages me that "a little sec goes a long way" to get my modelling contract  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 03 March 2015, 12:23:03 pm
What an absolute creep. I wonder if anyone falls for this? Probably a newbie right enough.

Some sleeze balls out there  ::)

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 03 March 2015, 07:17:31 pm
i've been getting texts today from someone.  i explained that as i have a heavy cold, i'm taking a few days off and not taking bookings.

his reply was "ok i hope you feel better, now tell me a secret about u that nobody knows"

i reply that i'm not taking bookings just now, but to call next week or email, if he would like to see me once i was better.

persistently, he says again, tell me a secret.

i reply that everything about me is in my profile, but if there was something that wasn't there he would like to know, feel free to ask.


3 in a row follow in rapid succession

whats your favourite drink
what are your favourite shoes
what are you doing right now

standard response of i don't play text tennis, but call or email next week if you want to book


poor wee sausage just replied "soz if i bored you!"  guess i'm not getting his booking lol.  such a shame
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 03 March 2015, 08:08:39 pm
No offence but your mental for telling him to call or email you when your back at work the first time after telling him you were unwell nevermind any other time after that.

Not only does this scream timewaster but that sort of pestering and creepiness has huge red flags all over it.

You've repeatedly told him that he's to call you once your feeling better and he still persists and pesters you so can you imagine what he will be like in person? He clearly doesn't understand English so he's the likely type to push your boundaries.

Honestly, there's no way I would ask him to call me once I am back at work. Not a chance in hell.

Each to their own though.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 03 March 2015, 08:51:17 pm
I've had a lot of bareback requests in the past, but this is my first 'I'm allergic' one!

Hey :) I know this isn't something you normally do, but I have an allergy that prevents me using condoms. Can we have sex without one? xxx

I told him that wasn't a problem as I have latex free condoms for people with condom allergies - not had a reply since though!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 03 March 2015, 11:48:48 pm
You're most likely right miss k. I'd already planned on being busy when (if) attempts to book x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 04 March 2015, 09:35:25 pm
On the being unwell- I had a heavy cold (was a while back now) and answered a call- God knows why- but I explained I was taking a few days off because I had a cold.

he replies- I don't mind!
Me: Um, well I do, I'm feeling lousy
Him: No it's fine, I don't care if I catch it, I just really want to see you today!
Me; You misunderstand, I'm not working because I don't want to
Him: What about a quicky then? (which I don't do anyway)
Me: OK, so a 15 minute quicky?
Him: (so pleased) Yes!
Me: OK, that'll be ?500.
Him: For 15 minutes?
Me: Yes, that's what it'll take to get me to see you whilst I'm feeling so bad!

He hangs up. No idea why.



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: StawberryFields on 05 March 2015, 08:08:15 am
"Hi my names drew and I'm an 18 year old girl, I am also an escort but I get a lot of women wanting to make bookings so I'd like to get some experience, let me know what you would do with me and If you are interested please:) x"

Lots of feedback only feedback saying they are fake, and then two positive ones  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 05 March 2015, 09:11:20 am
I had a guy ring me saying he was a cross dressing (no problem) but he then went on to ask if I can train him to be an escort! Perhaps I should open a school.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 06 March 2015, 01:45:24 pm
Just had some real undesirable, creepy sounding guy phone me up there asking me if I could see him today, I said to him that I didn't have any availability today to which the phone went dead as if he was trying to process this shocking news. He said well when are you available then? I said I haven't any availability until Monday unless I get a cancellation between now and then, phone went quiet again as if this news I was telling him was all a bit much for him to take in so then he says oh well I was just going to come along now though  ::) I said oh were you now? Well that's not how I work, I don't sit here in my underwear all day and all nite in some flat somewhere operating some sort of conveyor belt. I don't know why your so surprised that I have other booking and aren't available at the drop of a hat. My profile couldn't possibly be any clearer and I don't see those who don't read it. Then I put the phone down.

Now this guy wasn't exactly abusive or anything but know how you just get a really bad feeling about someone over the phone? Not that he is a serial killer but just that he would be absolutely horrible to be alone in a room with nevermind giving yourself to him.

I wonder how they get appointments with other girls while giving off that sort of vibe.

I just don't get it  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 06 March 2015, 09:18:02 pm
I've had so many arseholes phone me today it's unreal, what a day but this dick head that I'm just off the phone to takes the biscuit!

He phones up asking for an appointment tonight (out of my working hours and without notice) and when I tell him that as per my profile, I don't work that late or take bookings without notice, he then asks if he can see me tomorrow durin the day but as his girlfriends out at work, would it be ok if he could bring his kid  :FF

I actually said, are you for real (giving him a chance to take back what he said) and he said yes I'm for real.

I said your fucked up and sick taking your child to a strangers house, a sex worker at that (I'm decent but he doesn't know that, for all he knows I could work from some sort of crack den) while you have sex with them with your child there.

 :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 06 March 2015, 09:52:23 pm
Update......this looser is a complete and utter psychopath sending me all sorts of weird messages about his kid then saying he doesn't even have a kid as he killed him.

Sending me all sorts of weird texts, saying one thing then saying something completely different.

Anyone in Glasgow want this nutters number, PM me. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Carolynfeline on 06 March 2015, 11:12:49 pm
Some guys get off on weird things.
They like to see young girls (or women in general) anxious.
One told me that he is asking cute, innocent looking escorts if they ever killed someone because he actually did. Of course he's lying but it's a turn on to him, loool.
Another one got off on telling me his pedophile fantasies. I remained quite with no reaction bc he obviously wanted to see me scared and intimidated. If you laugh and treat them like a dumb boy, they usually stop and become normal again.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 07 March 2015, 12:04:55 am
Yeah he then phoned me another 16 times, 10 of which were in the space of 15-20 minutes. His last text to me was that I was a worthless whore.

I told him that he was scaring me and freaking me out and ive a good mind to report him and he told me to be his guest as his number is a proxy number.

The guy totally was getting off on giving me abuse, harassing me and upsetting me.

Sick, sad bastards.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 07 March 2015, 01:16:59 am
I thought after him calling me a worthless whore was the last of this cretin harassing me but he's still phoning me. You'd think they would get bored phoning someone about 30+ times with no answer.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Carolynfeline on 07 March 2015, 01:30:07 am
Don't show a reaction.
You should have laughed about him or silly ignored his dumb behavior.
If someone tells me weird stuff, i usually say things like
I am a whore because I get off by f***ing guys, killing them and hiding them in my basement. I secretly film it with my phone and put it on Youtube. makes me a lot of money."
Don't let these idiots play mind games with you. He doesn't leave you alone bc he is wanting himself every time he calls you and you show a reaction. You should charge for it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 07 March 2015, 01:50:44 am
Quote from: Carolynfeline on 07 March 2015, 01:30:07 am
Don't show a reaction.
You should have laughed about him or silly ignored his dumb behavior.
If someone tells me weird stuff, i usually say things like
I am a whore because I get off by f***ing guys, killing them and hiding them in my basement. I secretly film it with my phone and put it on Youtube. makes me a lot of money."
Don't let these idiots play mind games with you. He doesn't leave you alone bc he is wanting himself every time he calls you and you show a reaction. You should charge for it.

Yeah that's where I went wrong, I showed a reaction at first but he's phoned me maybe 20 odd times since I stopped replying. He's completely bonkers.

I do try to ignore most of these horrible ones but there are some professionals out there that know how to get you to bite, he's one of them.

Can't believe that this is his idea of entertainment for a Friday nite.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 07 March 2015, 02:02:00 am
Quote from: Miss K xXx on 07 March 2015, 12:04:55 am
Yeah he then phoned me another 16 times, 10 of which were in the space of 15-20 minutes. His last text to me was that I was a worthless whore.

I told him that he was scaring me and freaking me out and ive a good mind to report him and he told me to be his guest as his number is a proxy number.

The guy totally was getting off on giving me abuse, harassing me and upsetting me.

Sick, sad bastards.

Perhaps needs to be mentioned in the "Timewasters" section :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 07 March 2015, 03:02:08 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 07 March 2015, 02:02:00 am
Quote from: Miss K xXx on 07 March 2015, 12:04:55 am
Yeah he then phoned me another 16 times, 10 of which were in the space of 15-20 minutes. His last text to me was that I was a worthless whore.

I told him that he was scaring me and freaking me out and ive a good mind to report him and he told me to be his guest as his number is a proxy number.

The guy totally was getting off on giving me abuse, harassing me and upsetting me.

Sick, sad bastards.

Perhaps needs to be mentioned in the "Timewasters" section :)

Not sure I would class him a timewaster as I only class a timewaster as someone who has booked me and not shown up or cancelled.

This guys completely nuts. I will put a warning up about him tomorrow as he definitely needs to be avoided at all costs. Total screw loose.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ScarletWoman on 07 March 2015, 08:58:11 am
Quote from: xPoppyx on 24 February 2015, 11:19:41 am
Quote from: Miss K xXx on 23 February 2015, 10:17:09 pm
Quote from: Exotic flower on 23 February 2015, 07:02:11 pm
So today another timewaster called jay that will not be getting a booking  called me for gfe lingerie request at first  oh and would I wear pvc and would I spank him.
doesn't sound like gfe to me!!
but I don't book anyone called jay as its been a curse ive had over 17 of them call to book and not one has ever turned up its probably same one with different sim card

That is REALLY weird! Any time someone phones me up for a booking and says their name is Jay, my blood runs a bit cold.

Purely because I have yet to meet a Jay, every single one being a timewaster!

Are you anywhere near Glasgow?

xx

I am the same!!!! "Jay" or "Jai" - they never turn up! All giving that name have been complete timewasters. Also there seems to be a disproportionate amount of  Pauls, Scotts and Stevens!!! not TW though!

I had a lovely regular called Jay, with a fishnet fetish.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 08 March 2015, 06:40:28 pm
Just got this email. Bit scary!

Daddy is looking for a new plaything after his current toy got herself knocked up and is now no longer able to serve me properly.
If you are genuinely willing to put your heart into serving my needs ahead of your own and giving your body to me wholly I offer proper rates for a good service.
I need my girl to be available typically on a fortnightly basis for overnight stays at various locations around the country depending upon my business schedule. Locations will always be in smart city center hotels where discretion is required, and an ability to hold yourself well in social situations is essential. I will always expect you to arrive well dressed and well turned out so that we have an option to dine out.
I will always ensure you are remunerated well for good performance and enjoy surprising you with gifts when you have demonstrated good behavour.
I dont expect to have to ask, you should be available for use as I deem fit. Having said that, the phrase 'daddy please no' will always be respected, but equally will always be punished so that you know daddy feels disappointed in you.
If you would like to take this forward I look forward to hearing from you
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 08 March 2015, 06:45:12 pm
Quote from: Clarabella on 08 March 2015, 06:40:28 pm
Just got this email. Bit scary!

Daddy is looking for a new plaything after his current toy got herself knocked up and is now no longer able to serve me properly.
If you are genuinely willing to put your heart into serving my needs ahead of your own and giving your body to me wholly I offer proper rates for a good service.
I need my girl to be available typically on a fortnightly basis for overnight stays at various locations around the country depending upon my business schedule. Locations will always be in smart city center hotels where discretion is required, and an ability to hold yourself well in social situations is essential. I will always expect you to arrive well dressed and well turned out so that we have an option to dine out.
I will always ensure you are remunerated well for good performance and enjoy surprising you with gifts when you have demonstrated good behavour.
I dont expect to have to ask, you should be available for use as I deem fit. Having said that, the phrase 'daddy please no' will always be respected, but equally will always be punished so that you know daddy feels disappointed in you.
If you would like to take this forward I look forward to hearing from you

Looks like a crappy wannabe BDSM top.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 08 March 2015, 07:21:36 pm
Quote from: Clarabella on 08 March 2015, 06:40:28 pm
Just got this email. Bit scary!

Daddy is looking for a new plaything after his current toy got herself knocked up and is now no longer able to serve me properly.
If you are genuinely willing to put your heart into serving my needs ahead of your own and giving your body to me wholly I offer proper rates for a good service.
I need my girl to be available typically on a fortnightly basis for overnight stays at various locations around the country depending upon my business schedule. Locations will always be in smart city center hotels where discretion is required, and an ability to hold yourself well in social situations is essential. I will always expect you to arrive well dressed and well turned out so that we have an option to dine out.
I will always ensure you are remunerated well for good performance and enjoy surprising you with gifts when you have demonstrated good behavour.
I dont expect to have to ask, you should be available for use as I deem fit. Having said that, the phrase 'daddy please no' will always be respected, but equally will always be punished so that you know daddy feels disappointed in you.
If you would like to take this forward I look forward to hearing from you

If it wasn't for the sick Daddy stuff then I reckon this guy thinks he's Christian Grey!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 08 March 2015, 07:55:05 pm
Quote from: Clarabella on 08 March 2015, 06:40:28 pm
Just got this email. Bit scary!

Daddy is looking for a new plaything after his current toy got herself knocked up and is now no longer able to serve me properly.
If you are genuinely willing to put your heart into serving my needs ahead of your own and giving your body to me wholly I offer proper rates for a good service.
I need my girl to be available typically on a fortnightly basis for overnight stays at various locations around the country depending upon my business schedule. Locations will always be in smart city center hotels where discretion is required, and an ability to hold yourself well in social situations is essential. I will always expect you to arrive well dressed and well turned out so that we have an option to dine out.
I will always ensure you are remunerated well for good performance and enjoy surprising you with gifts when you have demonstrated good behavour.
I dont expect to have to ask, you should be available for use as I deem fit. Having said that, the phrase 'daddy please no' will always be respected, but equally will always be punished so that you know daddy feels disappointed in you.
If you would like to take this forward I look forward to hearing from you

Anything like that would just get "Fuck off, and when you get there, fuck off again" in response from me. So pathetic.

I had 3-4 texts this morning from a young Turkish lad who wanted a). dominating (I state quite clearly that I don't do it) and b). a discount because he was good looking, with the enticement that if I offered a reasonable enough price, he might become a regular. Geez, let me think about that for a millisecond...  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: International Whore on 08 March 2015, 08:13:37 pm
Quote from: The_Lynx on 08 March 2015, 06:45:12 pm
Quote from: Clarabella on 08 March 2015, 06:40:28 pm
Just got this email. Bit scary!

Daddy is looking for a new plaything after his current toy got herself knocked up and is now no longer able to serve me properly.
If you are genuinely willing to put your heart into serving my needs ahead of your own and giving your body to me wholly I offer proper rates for a good service.
I need my girl to be available typically on a fortnightly basis for overnight stays at various locations around the country depending upon my business schedule. Locations will always be in smart city center hotels where discretion is required, and an ability to hold yourself well in social situations is essential. I will always expect you to arrive well dressed and well turned out so that we have an option to dine out.
I will always ensure you are remunerated well for good performance and enjoy surprising you with gifts when you have demonstrated good behavour.
I dont expect to have to ask, you should be available for use as I deem fit. Having said that, the phrase 'daddy please no' will always be respected, but equally will always be punished so that you know daddy feels disappointed in you.
If you would like to take this forward I look forward to hearing from you

Looks like a crappy wannabe BDSM top.

Errrm I am pretty sure that's from a man who ended up stalking me and whom i reported to the police. He flipped when I refused to call him Daddy in a text message. Will check but I am sure its him. Never booked him but I am sure its him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 08 March 2015, 08:43:04 pm
Quote from: Clarabella on 08 March 2015, 06:40:28 pm
Just got this email. Bit scary!

Daddy is looking for a new plaything after his current toy got herself knocked up and is now no longer able to serve me properly.
If you are genuinely willing to put your heart into serving my needs ahead of your own and giving your body to me wholly I offer proper rates for a good service.
I need my girl to be available typically on a fortnightly basis for overnight stays at various locations around the country depending upon my business schedule. Locations will always be in smart city center hotels where discretion is required, and an ability to hold yourself well in social situations is essential. I will always expect you to arrive well dressed and well turned out so that we have an option to dine out.
I will always ensure you are remunerated well for good performance and enjoy surprising you with gifts when you have demonstrated good behavour.
I dont expect to have to ask, you should be available for use as I deem fit. Having said that, the phrase 'daddy please no' will always be respected, but equally will always be punished so that you know daddy feels disappointed in you.
If you would like to take this forward I look forward to hearing from you

What happens when she says, "Daddy, go fuck yourself?"

I don't think Daddy and I would get along at all.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 08 March 2015, 08:47:57 pm
I got a call today from a super-posh sounding guy who told me that he's a doctor. Says he just moved here to work at XYZ hospital. Just went on and on flattering me about how amazing my profile looks. Sounded smarmy as fuck. Probably thinks that I'm all giddy about meeting this really wonderful man who is obviously so much nicer than all the other guys I have to deal with. He called AGAIN some hours later to make a booking. I am unlikely to actually go through with the booking - will decline if he contacts at the confirmation time. I don't even know why I pretended to take the booking - I guess because he didn't actually say anything outrageously out of order and I wasn't feeling particularly combative.

When I do decline these guys, I like to just say, "Oh, I don't think we're suited to one another." I never explain why, really. I just let them wonder why any prostitute would ever decline such a wonderful guy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mimi_ on 08 March 2015, 10:11:21 pm
Its a tough one sometimes! Sent you pm Fab xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 08 March 2015, 10:30:08 pm
Quote from: The_Lynx on 08 March 2015, 06:45:12 pm
Quote from: Clarabella on 08 March 2015, 06:40:28 pm
Just got this email. Bit scary!

Daddy is looking for a new plaything after his current toy got herself knocked up and is now no longer able to serve me properly.
If you are genuinely willing to put your heart into serving my needs ahead of your own and giving your body to me wholly I offer proper rates for a good service.
I need my girl to be available typically on a fortnightly basis for overnight stays at various locations around the country depending upon my business schedule. Locations will always be in smart city center hotels where discretion is required, and an ability to hold yourself well in social situations is essential. I will always expect you to arrive well dressed and well turned out so that we have an option to dine out.
I will always ensure you are remunerated well for good performance and enjoy surprising you with gifts when you have demonstrated good behavour.
I dont expect to have to ask, you should be available for use as I deem fit. Having said that, the phrase 'daddy please no' will always be respected, but equally will always be punished so that you know daddy feels disappointed in you.
If you would like to take this forward I look forward to hearing from you

Looks like a crappy wannabe BDSM top.

Indeed.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 08 March 2015, 11:38:12 pm
I had via text today 'Do you do discounts for pensioners?'
I didn't realise it was charity week for help the aged...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 09 March 2015, 08:51:37 am
Quote from: ScarletWoman on 07 March 2015, 08:58:11 am
Quote from: xPoppyx on 24 February 2015, 11:19:41 am
Quote from: Miss K xXx on 23 February 2015, 10:17:09 pm
Quote from: Exotic flower on 23 February 2015, 07:02:11 pm
So today another timewaster called jay that will not be getting a booking  called me for gfe lingerie request at first  oh and would I wear pvc and would I spank him.
doesn't sound like gfe to me!!
but I don't book anyone called jay as its been a curse ive had over 17 of them call to book and not one has ever turned up its probably same one with different sim card

That is REALLY weird! Any time someone phones me up for a booking and says their name is Jay, my blood runs a bit cold.

Purely because I have yet to meet a Jay, every single one being a timewaster!

Are you anywhere near Glasgow?

xx

I am the same!!!! "Jay" or "Jai" - they never turn up! All giving that name have been complete timewasters. Also there seems to be a disproportionate amount of  Pauls, Scotts and Stevens!!! not TW though!

I had a lovely regular called Jay, with a fishnet fetish.
im in west London but I guess jay can travel anywhere lol !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rubyruby on 09 March 2015, 09:11:12 am
Quote from: bibi on 08 March 2015, 11:38:12 pm
I had via text today 'Do you do discounts for pensioners?'
I didn't realise it was charity week for help the aged...

Imagining he would look and have the charm of steptoe  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 10 March 2015, 01:58:02 pm
Not so much a how not to, but a client of mine sent an email with some requests for his next visit and referred to it as an assignment!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 10 March 2015, 06:01:58 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 10 March 2015, 01:58:02 pm
Not so much a how not to, but a client of mine sent an email with some requests for his next visit and referred to it as an assignment!

I've seen someone on a punting forum call it that!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 11 March 2015, 08:27:31 am
Quote from: Red KB on 10 March 2015, 01:58:02 pm
Not so much a how not to, but a client of mine sent an email with some requests for his next visit and referred to it as an assignment!

I know a girl who works for an agency and the agency pimp calls bookings assignments x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissCurtis on 12 March 2015, 05:48:53 pm
A guy calls me this morning (around 11am) asking if I'm free later, around 5pm. I tell him that I am.
He calls me at 4pm to tell me he's leaving work and will be on time. I say "fine."
He then texts me at 4:45pm to say he can't make it to mine, can I instead meet him at his house? I was already suited and booted and waiting at my place.Plus I'm not a f**king delivery service.

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlaqHarlot on 13 March 2015, 05:14:02 am
Had a text stating "are you interested in young ladies" to which I asked what was meant by it.
This person then claimed to be a female who is 20, I told them I don't see female clients sorry.
These are a few texts they sent me  "you won't regret it your body looks so good"
"Can I call you for some phone chat I can't speak cos my parents are in bed but can you talk dirty to me"
"Lemme call you and hear you talk dirty pls"
"Send me a pic of that body I wanna see some more"
"Your body looks so good I was hoping to get a look in"
"That pussy looks so good to eat and make you squirt that pussy" wtf???

It's blatantly a male I checked the number through Whatsapp and surprise surprise the profile picture is of a male. I didn't even bother to text back just simply blocked them, obviously a timewasting chancer looking for freebies such as phone sex.

I don't understand what fun these people get out of messing someone about at 5am.

[number removed and post moved - please keep the warnings section for warnings]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 13 March 2015, 09:18:19 am
Missed call on phone and then a text as 5.13am this morning to ask how much for a half hour.

Not only do I not do half hour bookings but what is it that makes these arseholes think that's an appropriate time to phone someone?

Blocked!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 13 March 2015, 10:48:06 pm
a few messages sent in very quick succession, all ignored!

Quote
how much to just beat off and cum over your tits
Quote
you'll beat my cock off for free? geat!
[/quote]don't talk much? ;)[/quote]
Quote
send pics!


aaaaaaaand block  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 13 March 2015, 10:52:30 pm
I got a call from a gent who asked if I were working tomorrow. I said that I wasn't. "Well, actually," he said, "I'm going to be in town from tomorrow until the end of the week. And I need to find a hotel. I wondered if you could help me with that?" "Um, OK?" "Yes, you see - it has to be a dog-friendly hotel."

*click*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 13 March 2015, 11:32:23 pm
Aw message

"Will you do me at 4?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 13 March 2015, 11:34:53 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 13 March 2015, 10:52:30 pm
I got a call from a gent who asked if I were working tomorrow. I said that I wasn't. "Well, actually," he said, "I'm going to be in town from tomorrow until the end of the week. And I need to find a hotel. I wondered if you could help me with that?" "Um, OK?" "Yes, you see - it has to be a dog-friendly hotel."

*click*

What a weirdo! God where the hell do all these guys come from?! 500 pages of idiots!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 14 March 2015, 12:10:14 am
Quote from: TheLittleMatchGirl on 13 March 2015, 11:34:53 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 13 March 2015, 10:52:30 pm
I got a call from a gent who asked if I were working tomorrow. I said that I wasn't. "Well, actually," he said, "I'm going to be in town from tomorrow until the end of the week. And I need to find a hotel. I wondered if you could help me with that?" "Um, OK?" "Yes, you see - it has to be a dog-friendly hotel."

*click*

What a weirdo! God where the hell do all these guys come from?! 500 pages of idiots!

I just think when some guys trowel through AW with a hardon or start making random calls to girls numbers they may have in their phone while horny.....they just do not think straight so their manners, respect and sense of normal behaviour goes right out the window.

Some of them are just general real bad eggs with serious personality defects but the rest I reckon it's just a case of not thinking straight when horny!

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ieaio on 14 March 2015, 08:45:01 am
The "Build a bitch" type of guy  ::)

Just got asked to dress as a bubblegum girlie girl (bearing in mind i'm the opposite, gothic) & told specifically what color hold ups and even hair tye to wear!?!?!?! I declined after he requested a very specific lipstick shade O.o. Perhaps OCD I don't know i've never heard someone get so specific. Makes you wonder why they don't just choose a girl to their liking. Just means i can't act like myself around those who don't want me as me.

This week has been awful for timewasters. One guy rang up and asked me what i look like because he'd forgotten as he'd looked at so many girls he doesn't know who he was talking to.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 14 March 2015, 09:43:43 am
I hang up on guys who phone me asking who I am. If they've looked at that many girls and don't even know my name then they won't know anything else about me. I've no time for that x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 14 March 2015, 12:37:24 pm
I had one who was texting me for ages and ages, being a pure dick, sending me photo's of his cock "u could have this in your
mouth by 11am" Oh lucky me..  ::)
And more of that kind of nonsense.
I ignored it for as long as I could, but at some point I'd had enough, send him a message and told him this is not
how you book an escort, he's never gonna get a booking like this, so if he wanted to see me, he'd have to be respectful,
polite etc. etc...
He then said, "Oh that's the way my mum brought me up, blah blah... "
He then actually sent a few more very polite, respectful enquiries for a booking, and eventually I gave in.
Of course, when push came to shove, he bottled it, and cancelled  ;D
He said, sorry, can't make it today, won't contact you again..
Ok, no probs, maybe I did manage to teach him some manners though!  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: peachybum on 14 March 2015, 08:14:58 pm
These are just from today.

Guy 1 - "what's address" nothing else just that not even a hi. So replied with the address for my local police station.

Guy 2 - (phone call) I want and overnight. Me - I'm afraid I don't do overnights.  Him - well I need somewhere to sleep I can pay ?2000 for it. Me - I'm pretty sure the local hotels are cheaper. I ended call.

Guy 3 - (phone call) me - hello. him - hi. me - hi. him - hi. me - hi (I'm starting to giggle by this point). him - hi. me - this is the best conversation I've ever had. him - well you seem to cocky. He puts phone down. Haha!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tvhappiness on 15 March 2015, 08:56:34 am
Just got this one:

"Hello me Princesso. Du you working today me Lady???? I wont caming tuday and wont kiss lick suck yours biutifol bodey. Yours lips cyc stomag as in  yours biutiful pusy bouls dick. i wont if  you fuck me face and me as. i wont if you fuck me hard haw yousr bith. Du you du dys for meme biutiful Princesso?????"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 15 March 2015, 10:28:42 am
Wow!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 15 March 2015, 10:44:01 am
Quote from: Siorse on 14 March 2015, 12:37:24 pm
I had one who was texting me for ages and ages, being a pure dick, sending me photo's of his cock "u could have this in your
mouth by 11am" Oh lucky me..  ::)
And more of that kind of nonsense.
I ignored it for as long as I could, but at some point I'd had enough, send him a message and told him this is not
how you book an escort, he's never gonna get a booking like this, so if he wanted to see me, he'd have to be respectful,
polite etc. etc...
He then said, "Oh that's the way my mum brought me up, blah blah... "
He then actually sent a few more very polite, respectful enquiries for a booking, and eventually I gave in.
Of course, when push came to shove, he bottled it, and cancelled  ;D
He said, sorry, can't make it today, won't contact you again..
Ok, no probs, maybe I did manage to teach him some manners though!  ;)

His mum brought him up to tell women they could have his body parts in their mouth within the hour....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 15 March 2015, 12:43:30 pm
I woke up to two texts this morning from different guys.

One, "Big" That's all it said!

Two, "I am in the St James Hotel and need 7 girls can you sort me" Because my ad clearly states I'm a pimp who is awake at 4am...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sambabe on 15 March 2015, 03:23:37 pm
Quote from: bibi on 08 March 2015, 11:38:12 pm
I had via text today 'Do you do discounts for pensioners?'
I didn't realise it was charity week for help the aged...
Could be worse "discount for NUS".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sourgrapes on 15 March 2015, 03:47:30 pm
Absolutely love it! So much more poetic than the "can I fuck you up the arse" I got earlier.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 15 March 2015, 06:10:01 pm
I just got this on AW:

hi can I lick yours pussy?.... I can't pay hun....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 15 March 2015, 06:52:50 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 15 March 2015, 06:10:01 pm
I just got this on AW:

hi can I lick yours pussy?.... I can't pay hun....

Point him at Plenty of Fish. If he can't pay, he shouldn't be contacting ladies on a PAY FOR SEX site ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roseanna_ on 15 March 2015, 07:41:29 pm
Got a text

Him: are you available at 9pm

Me:I won't be available till 10pm

Him: are you available at 8pm

Honestly , where do these idiots come from?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 16 March 2015, 05:33:47 am
Received yesterday evening:

Idiot- Do you need a robot?

Me- Sorry, I'm not sure I understand what you mean!

Idiot- Some girls have slaves, but I want to be your robot. Do you need a robot?

Me- I'm afraid I don't have any need for a robot.

Idiot- Do you like ugly men?

Me- One thing I definitely DON'T like or appreciate is text pests, so I'm afraid whatever you're asking now or are thinking of asking next, I'm not going to be accepting a booking from you. Night!

Idiot- How dare you.

BLOCKED.

I've just started working again after a month recuperating from burnout... And so it begins!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 16 March 2015, 09:52:41 am
Text received....

Hello care to pleasure me?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 16 March 2015, 10:17:30 am
 email sent 3 times now with mobile number "Hi can you call me?" :FF
reply id like to have sent  , yea right like your doctor and dentist call you too do they?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 16 March 2015, 12:17:48 pm
Quote from: BJC on 16 March 2015, 05:33:47 am
Received yesterday evening:

Idiot- Do you need a robot?

Me- Sorry, I'm not sure I understand what you mean!

Idiot- Some girls have slaves, but I want to be your robot. Do you need a robot?

Me- I'm afraid I don't have any need for a robot.

Idiot- Do you like ugly men?

Me- One thing I definitely DON'T like or appreciate is text pests, so I'm afraid whatever you're asking now or are thinking of asking next, I'm not going to be accepting a booking from you. Night!

Idiot- How dare you.

BLOCKED.

I've just started working again after a month recuperating from burnout... And so it begins!

UPDATE- This is irrelevant really but it amused me lol- after a couple more abusive texts from this idiot I Googled his number out of curiosity. No personal/work info but there was an advert with his number listed as the contact asking if anyone would like to go ghost hunting with him in Hull. He's now saved on my block list as "Robot Ghost Hunter"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 16 March 2015, 05:10:20 pm
Quote from: BJC on 16 March 2015, 12:17:48 pm
"Robot Ghost Hunter"

Haha, that's a different one from TWTIT1, TWTIT2, TWTIT3.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 16 March 2015, 05:14:59 pm
Mine just all go in as 'Ignore' I can't possibly remember them individually!! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 16 March 2015, 05:23:48 pm
Mine are usually listed as TW - followed by all different swearwords, harsher one's for the arseholes.

The smelly one's are are league in their own on my phone; stink, shitstainsbed, cheesydick, youngsmellycock, nobcheese.. Yes I seem to attract the stinkers.

I had two shit stained bed one's listed this week. God they're vile sometimes!  :FF :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 16 March 2015, 05:56:00 pm
I have a regular I see who is EXTREMELY slobbery. So last time I saw him I told him I'd been wanking that day to stop him keep going down on me and soaking my bed in his spit. It's bad enough that he dribbles all over my face.

I'm seeing him again tomorrow and just got this email from him:

"I seem to remember that last time we met you had already had a wank earlier in the day. This time I'm not allowing it ... 😎 none of that until we meet, okay?"

I sent him back this "Unfortunately I wank when the mood takes me? no chastity belt for me! ;)"

Who the hell does he think he is? I also happen to have another booking before I see him, who is also likely to want to make me 'orgasm'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rubyruby on 16 March 2015, 07:27:43 pm
I reviewed my first ever dick pic today, it looked like a narcoleptic door mouse nestled between his fingers
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 16 March 2015, 10:33:07 pm
Quote from: Doedeer on 16 March 2015, 07:27:43 pm
I reviewed my first ever dick pic today, it looked like a narcoleptic door mouse nestled between his fingers
Yep they are never attractive are they?They usually remind me of half dressed Christmas trees.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Madyson on 16 March 2015, 10:59:01 pm
Just had a text at nearly 11pm tonight, I wanna book you for outcall now to ......... for 15 min quickie, it would take me an hour and a half to get there ......................... shall I get out of my PJs and put down my drink of hot chocolate ...............Errrrrr NO Lol  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 16 March 2015, 11:17:47 pm
Quote from: BJC on 16 March 2015, 05:33:47 am
Received yesterday evening:

Idiot- Do you need a robot?

Me- Sorry, I'm not sure I understand what you mean!

Idiot- Some girls have slaves, but I want to be your robot. Do you need a robot?

Me- I'm afraid I don't have any need for a robot.

Idiot- Do you like ugly men?

Me- One thing I definitely DON'T like or appreciate is text pests, so I'm afraid whatever you're asking now or are thinking of asking next, I'm not going to be accepting a booking from you. Night!

Idiot- How dare you.

BLOCKED.

I've just started working again after a month recuperating from burnout... And so it begins!

I could really use a robot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rubyruby on 17 March 2015, 12:25:25 am
Quote from: bibi on 16 March 2015, 10:33:07 pm
Quote from: Doedeer on 16 March 2015, 07:27:43 pm
I reviewed my first ever dick pic today, it looked like a narcoleptic door mouse nestled between his fingers
Yep they are never attractive are they?They usually remind me of half dressed Christmas trees.

No amount of baubles and tinsle could save this little blighter  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 17 March 2015, 09:04:10 am
Text at 2am this morning

Hi, male 36 years old near your area, available?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sourgrapes on 17 March 2015, 01:34:04 pm
Had a client ring and book role play or Saturday evening, 2 hour hotel outcall. Now I get a text message "did you get my pictures?"
Texted back "please don't send pictures - have a very old phone". Not so, but not in the mood to receive cock pics.
Get a text back: "Only to show my charme and beauty and elegance. I am very excited to meet you blah blah......"

I'll pick myself off the floor once I've stopped laughing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: berri on 17 March 2015, 03:29:32 pm
Eugh, had a perfectly reasonable request for a booking. All the details agreed.  When it comes to confirming his exact address he refuses saying he has concerns about giving it before and I can meet him outside and then txt the address to a friend.

He has a lot of genuine looking feedback - not sure how he has mannaged that
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Madyson on 17 March 2015, 04:02:28 pm
Than deal with poor and utter morons  ::) Had few texts off a guy over the last few weeks but he hadn't actually made a booking, asked my price and then said 'hope your worth it !!!', giving him the benefit of the doubt I replied to a text today saying I was free from 1pm, he asked if I was free all day and I replied 'on and off' just had a text in last 5 mins saying 'so you free',

Maybe I'm just being a bit over sensitive, but seems to have a bad attitude/not very friendly? I replied 'Nope'

Even though I could do with the booking would rather have none then dealing with a tosser  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 17 March 2015, 04:15:50 pm
Just had someone try to book me completely arse from elbow from the way my profile says and at the drop of a hat which is something I can never do and is also very clear on my profile and for a booking for 45 minutes (that I don't do) and when I told him this.....he said he did read my profile but the customer is always right  :FF

I told him that the customer is most definitely not always right when it comes to the sex industry! Can you imagine how out of hand it would be if the customer always got his way despite what your profile says and what your boundaries are? It would be unbearable!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 17 March 2015, 04:28:00 pm
,
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 17 March 2015, 04:52:34 pm
Quote from: Madyson on 17 March 2015, 04:02:28 pm
Than deal with poor and utter morons  ::) Had few texts off a guy over the last few weeks but he hadn't actually made a booking, asked my price and then said 'hope your worth it !!!', giving him the benefit of the doubt I replied to a text today saying I was free from 1pm, he asked if I was free all day and I replied 'on and off' just had a text in last 5 mins saying 'so you free',

Maybe I'm just being a bit over sensitive, but seems to have a bad attitude/not very friendly? I replied 'Nope'

Even though I could do with the booking would rather have none then dealing with a tosser  :FF

From the point a client says something like 'I hope you're worth it' I turn down the booking. Not having anyone come with that kind of attitude.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Madyson on 17 March 2015, 08:17:29 pm
Midsstudent, you are completely right, have blocked him now, I think I would have been on a hiding to nothing, obviously it appears it may have a problem we having to pay for sex !, even if I had the face of an angel (which I don't ;D) or the body of a goddess (which I also don't ;D) I still think he would have 'not think I'm worth it' ....................... but I know my own worth
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 17 March 2015, 08:45:14 pm
Missed a call if a guy and he left a message stating he had rang a few times and I had not answered, he wanted to book but was on his way out. I replied by text saying I was sorry I missed his call, had finished work for the day and if he still wanted to book to ring me the next day, which was today. I recieved a text this afternoon.
I am in work all day and night call me Wednesday night about ten o'clock.
Erm I dont think so.
Text later today.
Could you ring me about nine tomorrow night.
Again I ignored
Then just now.
Or I ring you is that ok.
Bingo, now your catching on.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 17 March 2015, 11:09:24 pm
Quote from: Madyson on 17 March 2015, 08:17:29 pm
Midsstudent, you are completely right, have blocked him now, I think I would have been on a hiding to nothing, obviously it appears it may have a problem we having to pay for sex !, even if I had the face of an angel (which I don't ;D) or the body of a goddess (which I also don't ;D) I still think he would have 'not think I'm worth it' ....................... but I know my own worth

When I 1st started, like in the 1st couple of months, I agreed to see a couple of men who said things like 'hope you're worth the 80 quid' but they no showed and one sent me the most abusive text (I've only received a handful) so I learned my lesson quick.

When you think about it, when a punter arranges a meet with us I don't think they are going to be so abrupt or rude in their original comms as most genuine ones would want the meet to go as smoothly as possible as much as we do plus they would know that giving attitude might put us off meeting them in the 1st place so I'm not saying all, but I'd say the majority who are like that would be no shows. Rude ones like that which might show are stupid anyway as they risk not getting the best service from us.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: berri on 17 March 2015, 11:10:35 pm
I would gladly impregnate you when you want kids. x


couldn't quite believe what i was reading
like what the actual fuck? 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 17 March 2015, 11:22:06 pm
Also had an email recently from someone saying that they couldn't pay in cash as it would arouse suspicion from wife taking out that kind of cash but he could pay by credit card in goods and that a petrol station is the best place. If true, maybe that's easier to explain to the wife!! But not sure I could find 100ish quid worth of goods in such a place. 8 bottles of vodka maybe? He had lots of pos feedback so maybe some are happy with this but I don't need tons of stuff from a garage!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 17 March 2015, 11:23:55 pm
Quote from: berri on 17 March 2015, 11:10:35 pm
I would gladly impregnate you when you want kids. x


couldn't quite believe what i was reading
like what the actual fuck?

Impregnation fetish is, sadly, a thing. D:
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 17 March 2015, 11:47:30 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 17 March 2015, 04:52:34 pm
Quote from: Madyson on 17 March 2015, 04:02:28 pm
Than deal with poor and utter morons  ::) Had few texts off a guy over the last few weeks but he hadn't actually made a booking, asked my price and then said 'hope your worth it !!!', giving him the benefit of the doubt I replied to a text today saying I was free from 1pm, he asked if I was free all day and I replied 'on and off' just had a text in last 5 mins saying 'so you free',

Maybe I'm just being a bit over sensitive, but seems to have a bad attitude/not very friendly? I replied 'Nope'

Even though I could do with the booking would rather have none then dealing with a tosser  :FF

From the point a client says something like 'I hope you're worth it' I turn down the booking. Not having anyone come with that kind of attitude.

I'm exact same, I would feel under too much pressure to perform like some sort of circus monkey x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 18 March 2015, 12:24:05 am
Via text:Hi Bibi,Would you like to go on a cheeky dinner date one evening?I would give you ?1000 for 5 hours in total x
We all know there is a reason why he is offering so much money for 5 hours...yep he wanted me to go out and about dressed as a slut...told to jog on.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: berri on 18 March 2015, 10:40:56 am
Quote from: The_Lynx on 17 March 2015, 11:23:55 pm
Quote from: berri on 17 March 2015, 11:10:35 pm
I would gladly impregnate you when you want kids. x


couldn't quite believe what i was reading
like what the actual fuck?

Impregnation fetish is, sadly, a thing. D:

True, it was just how there was nothing else said, it was like the TW messages of "wanna fuck" but about impregnation.  It surprised me, although due to the time of the message i had guessed it wasn't going to be the most coherent of messages
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 18 March 2015, 01:56:40 pm
Text at 2.37am; " I need to make a 15min apt ASAP Let me know when suits"   ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 18 March 2015, 04:29:23 pm
Quote from: Siorse on 18 March 2015, 01:56:40 pm
Text at 2.37am; " I need to make a 15min apt ASAP Let me know when suits"   ::)

I wake up to stupid shit like that all the time, these guys clearly have this idea that we sit 24/7 beside the phone in our underwear, frothed up and ready to go ::)

Pisses me off but I always leave my phone on at nite but obviously on silent and in a different room from me so that in the morning, I can instantly block ANYONE who's phones me or texts me at ungodly hours because that kind of ignorance is just what I try to avoid at the best of times nevemind those times.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Naked Chef on 18 March 2015, 10:47:24 pm
Client - "I want OWO, CIM, DFK, fucked, sucked, face sitting, foot fetish, tell me your address"
Me - " And I want to win the lottery, good luck with that"
Client - "Don't blame me for your advertising"
Me - "It was more your disgusting mannerisms that have repulsed me"

BLOCKED
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 18 March 2015, 11:42:28 pm
Quote from: Naked Chef on 18 March 2015, 10:47:24 pm
Client - "I want OWO, CIM, DFK, fucked, sucked, face sitting, foot fetish, tell me your address"
Me - " And I want to win the lottery, good luck with that"
Client - "Don't blame me for your advertising"
Me - "It was more your disgusting mannerisms that have repulsed me"

BLOCKED

Absolutely, I had someone the other day come out with some bullshit about the customer is always right not realising that his shite approach to me, presumptuous attitude and trying to book me in every possible way I ask them not to is what got him a negative response and refusal.

I just wonder where some of their manners are? I wonder how some of them get through life with an attitude like that and such bad manners?

It's baffling!  ::)

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rubyruby on 19 March 2015, 12:41:25 am
I think most in real life are probably polite with social awareness and act like they're billy big bollocks from the planet lad, as some weird defense mechanism. Asking a stranger for paid sex probably makes them feel vulnerable in a way and speaking to us like a twat disconnects them from the situation. Or maybe they think because they're interacting with a sex worker they have to as vulgar as possible.

Though I could be wrong
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 19 March 2015, 09:19:45 am
Received 4:12am this morning:

"Hey? Any chance of a outcall? To my house? U can take full details and il send a picture of my Id, o just want to walk whilst I lick you ? Let me know either way"

"I* not o, and wank* not walk, lol" [at least he was sober enough to correct his typos]

After patiently waiting for me to reply for a total of 11 mins:

"Please reply?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 19 March 2015, 10:12:57 am
"Hi I am Chris 30 when R U free to be fucked next?"

It took a little bit of willpower to refrain from replying, "When you're 40, by which time you'll hopefully have outgrown being a twat."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 19 March 2015, 10:15:05 am
I do have to say, though: I've been watching the room available posts on here and it seems that it's not just punters who can't figure out how to answer an advert. "I have a room available in XZY.... rent is by the week and you can live there. Please call me on XXXXXXX or email me at YYYYY." And then there will be posts saying, "hey hun is the room still available?" or "hey hun how much by the hour?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 19 March 2015, 10:28:28 am
Tell me about it ::).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 19 March 2015, 03:31:24 pm
Message this morning

Bet ur a right filthy cow.Wanna be fucked?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 19 March 2015, 04:28:53 pm
"Can I come see you today."

Nothing really wrong with that except I received it on a dating profile I have and think maybe the guy saw my escort ads and thought it appropriate to message me on a dating site!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 19 March 2015, 07:09:53 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 19 March 2015, 04:28:53 pm
"Can I come see you today."

Nothing really wrong with that except I received it on a dating profile I have and think maybe the guy saw my escort ads and thought it appropriate to message me on a dating site!

Haha, guys do this to me too. Start asking about bookings and services over the dating site. I just block them. Lol.

x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 19 March 2015, 07:13:13 pm
Quote from: roxymartine21 on 19 March 2015, 07:09:53 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 19 March 2015, 04:28:53 pm
"Can I come see you today."

Nothing really wrong with that except I received it on a dating profile I have and think maybe the guy saw my escort ads and thought it appropriate to message me on a dating site!

Haha, guys do this to me too. Start asking about bookings and services over the dating site. I just block them. Lol.

x
That's exactly what I did!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 19 March 2015, 09:13:27 pm
Get a phone call at 21.10 asking if I am available at 9 o'clock   ::)

I said its 10 past 9 though and he said ok well are you available now then?

I just said no and hung up  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 19 March 2015, 10:14:01 pm
Text message simply saying - 'Can you shit in my mouth?'

How delightful on a Thursday evening.  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 20 March 2015, 12:27:07 am
Quote from: The_Lynx on 17 March 2015, 11:23:55 pm
Quote from: berri on 17 March 2015, 11:10:35 pm
I would gladly impregnate you when you want kids. x


couldn't quite believe what i was reading
like what the actual fuck?

Impregnation fetish is, sadly, a thing. D:

I had a client say he'd be happy to give me a child and pay for it and me completely, he'd want nothing to do with it though. I know I definitely did not do anything to encourage this..no idea what he was thinking! Aside from the lunacy of it all he was grotesque physically
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 20 March 2015, 05:59:32 am
A guy contacted me randomly via Adultwork earlier today, gotta give him points for originality! He was mailing with a great "opportunity" for me to consider. He claimed to be working at a 4 star hotel, and apparently he personally is approached around 3-4 times a week by men staying at said hotel asking if he knows any escorts that he could arrange for a visit to the clients hotel room. He very generously (!) offered to pass my phone number on to any gentlemen requesting an escort booking in the future, or maybe possibly he will ring me himself to make arrangements on behalf of the client. In return he would appreciate some commission, either in cash or services for every booking arranged via him.
I thanked him for considering me in his offer (what a plank!) but said im not interested as I only accept a couple of bookings max per day, therefore I often get more booking requests than I can physically do. Also, I let him know that I was quite surprised by his situation- seeing as pretty much every client I've seen over the past 2 years for a hotel outcall has asked me to be as discreet as possible regarding hotel and reception staff, so very surprising to learn that clients have been approaching him directly  3-4 times a week! And as well as being the opposite of discreet behavior in a hotel, it would seem they're incapable of booking their own escort as well! Very strange.
Got a rather curt "well I get asked all the time, can only tell you what I know" in reply.
Gotta love the "hobby pimps!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tinkerbell on 20 March 2015, 07:31:50 am
Message today on AW:
'Can I take you away for 4 days and pay you ?8k to come along?'
Me, taking the mick, replied 'oh, somewhere exotic I hope'
HIM' that depends how filthy you will be, give me your number and I'll call you and you can tell me what you'd do to me.'
ME' I charge ?10k for phone sex, sorry'

He is now blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 20 March 2015, 10:19:03 am
Quote from: BJC on 20 March 2015, 05:59:32 am
A guy contacted me randomly via Adultwork earlier today, gotta give him points for originality! He was mailing with a great "opportunity" for me to consider. He claimed to be working at a 4 star hotel, and apparently he personally is approached around 3-4 times a week by men staying at said hotel asking if he knows any escorts that he could arrange for a visit to the clients hotel room. He very generously (!) offered to pass my phone number on to any gentlemen requesting an escort booking in the future, or maybe possibly he will ring me himself to make arrangements on behalf of the client. In return he would appreciate some commission, either in cash or services for every booking arranged via him.
I thanked him for considering me in his offer (what a plank!) but said im not interested as I only accept a couple of bookings max per day, therefore I often get more booking requests than I can physically do. Also, I let him know that I was quite surprised by his situation- seeing as pretty much every client I've seen over the past 2 years for a hotel outcall has asked me to be as discreet as possible regarding hotel and reception staff, so very surprising to learn that clients have been approaching him directly  3-4 times a week! And as well as being the opposite of discreet behavior in a hotel, it would seem they're incapable of booking their own escort as well! Very strange.
Got a rather curt "well I get asked all the time, can only tell you what I know" in reply.
Gotta love the "hobby pimps!"

I'm exact same, I would say 40% of my bookings are 2 hour bookings so I only do 2 clients a day and 3 at an absolute maximum as I have other commitments plus I really do feel like my vagina would turn inside out if I did any more as I work 5,6 and sometimes 7 days a week depending if I haven't got any weekend plans yet I had some pimp (although she said she was female) say to me last week that she could get me 8 punters a day and would want cash from each booking (can't remember how much) so I explained to her that I have a limit to what I do in a day so therefor turn away other bookings or try to get them to book another day so I already can't cope with my work load so she's very presumptuous in the thinking that I would want to run a revolving door like that. Yuck! And then to think that I would want to give someone a cut of my money that I worked for is just another thing I would never consider. Silly girl  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 20 March 2015, 03:10:28 pm
Quote from: TheLittleMatchGirl on 20 March 2015, 12:27:07 am
Quote from: The_Lynx on 17 March 2015, 11:23:55 pm
Quote from: berri on 17 March 2015, 11:10:35 pm
I would gladly impregnate you when you want kids. x


couldn't quite believe what i was reading
like what the actual fuck?

Impregnation fetish is, sadly, a thing. D:

I had a client say he'd be happy to give me a child and pay for it and me completely, he'd want nothing to do with it though. I know I definitely did not do anything to encourage this..no idea what he was thinking! Aside from the lunacy of it all he was grotesque physically

I had a client, in a booking, ask if I would donate my eggs so he could have a kid with my skin tone etc. He was Indian and said he already had a kid from another egg doner of another race and said he'd pay well. I  couldn't get out of there fast enough, and he had the cheek to try and convince me by text a few days later!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 20 March 2015, 08:53:29 pm
I had a client last year who actually thought I offered a revolving door service, it was early afternoon and he asked me how many people I had seen that day like it turned him on that he was my 10th fuck that day or something. Was rather disappointed when I told him he was my only booking for the day because I rarely take more than one!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LillieLovesLicorice on 21 March 2015, 02:49:56 am
Message at 3.30am: "Hi, 07*********. Nice White. Waste me x"

Firstly, huh? Also, doesn't "waste" mean to kill o.O
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tinkerbell on 22 March 2015, 07:30:45 am
Quote from: Midsstudent on 20 March 2015, 08:53:29 pm
I had a client last year who actually thought I offered a revolving door service, it was early afternoon and he asked me how many people I had seen that day like it turned him on that he was my 10th fuck that day or something. Was rather disappointed when I told him he was my only booking for the day because I rarely take more than one!
I've had a couple of guys asking to see me ' at the end of a busy day'. I've generally been able to get them in as my 7th or 8th of the day and they seem to get very turned on that I've had 6 or 7 men before them that day. Different strokes for different folks I suppose.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sensualdaya on 22 March 2015, 08:53:28 am
Sunday: 4:43 am
"If u love to fuck black men can we talk? I'm white 38 male but I wanna support and love a woman who ONLY fucks black cock. I'm Richard."
Lolwut?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 22 March 2015, 11:18:13 am
Quote from: Blossoming Tree on 22 March 2015, 07:30:45 am
Quote from: Midsstudent on 20 March 2015, 08:53:29 pm
I had a client last year who actually thought I offered a revolving door service, it was early afternoon and he asked me how many people I had seen that day like it turned him on that he was my 10th fuck that day or something. Was rather disappointed when I told him he was my only booking for the day because I rarely take more than one!
I've had a couple of guys asking to see me ' at the end of a busy day'. I've generally been able to get them in as my 7th or 8th of the day and they seem to get very turned on that I've had 6 or 7 men before them that day. Different strokes for different folks I suppose.

I would be absolutley battered and bruised after that many in a day. It takes me 4 days to see 8 guys x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 22 March 2015, 01:19:02 pm
Had a missed call from a guy this morning at 11.20 but I missed his call then he phoned me back wanting an appointment for today, I told him I was booked (which is the truth) but for some reason he was really shocked and then started arguing with me that it's his only day off and he was moaning I missed his call??

Anyway I said I wasn't interested in meeting him at all since he was giving me such a bad vibe and then he stared giving me abuse calling ME a nutter and I've to go open my legs and shut my mouth etc....

Then I googled the arseholes number and the address of an apartment he's renting out came up  ::)

Ladies, anyone in Glasgow want his number....PM me for it, he's English sounding but also sounds like he's not quite right lol.

Doesn't seem to understand that prostitutes may have other commitments in life besides whoring, he also said I can't be that busy as I'm talking to him.....I reminded him that it's lunch time and a whores gotta eat and then I gotta get ready for my client.

Fuck being alone in a room with someone like him who goes nuts when he doesn't get his own way!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tinkerbell on 22 March 2015, 01:35:24 pm
Quote from: Miss K xXx on 22 March 2015, 11:18:13 am
Quote from: Blossoming Tree on 22 March 2015, 07:30:45 am
Quote from: Midsstudent on 20 March 2015, 08:53:29 pm
I had a client last year who actually thought I offered a revolving door service, it was early afternoon and he asked me how many people I had seen that day like it turned him on that he was my 10th fuck that day or something. Was rather disappointed when I told him he was my only booking for the day because I rarely take more than one!
I've had a couple of guys asking to see me ' at the end of a busy day'. I've generally been able to get them in as my 7th or 8th of the day and they seem to get very turned on that I've had 6 or 7 men before them that day. Different strokes for different folks I suppose.

I would be absolutley battered and bruised after that many in a day. It takes me 4 days to see 8 guys x
That's only if I tour. 4 a day is max for me if I'm working in my usual area. I tour for 3 days then have a week off to recover haha x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 22 March 2015, 02:31:44 pm
Quote from: sensualdaya on 22 March 2015, 08:53:28 am
Sunday: 4:43 am
"If u love to fuck black men can we talk? I'm white 38 male but I wanna support and love a woman who ONLY fucks black cock. I'm Richard."
Lolwut?

Cuckold fantasy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: milfy on 22 March 2015, 04:35:49 pm
You will open the door naked and when I come in you will free the monster and suck me dry

No mate. I won't. I wonder when he was thinking of paying me for monster taming

  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 23 March 2015, 12:15:05 pm

HI HOW ARE YOU
I HAVE A CRYING FETISH I LIKE SEEING WOMEN CRY AND HEARING WOMEN WEEP.CAN YOU CRY FOR ME PLEASE
WHAT WILL MAKE U CRY IN PVT
CAN U PLEASE REPLY

I have received this message now from 3 different user names on adultwork has anyone else?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 23 March 2015, 04:57:27 pm
Quote from: Exotic flower on 23 March 2015, 12:15:05 pm

HI HOW ARE YOU
I HAVE A CRYING FETISH I LIKE SEEING WOMEN CRY AND HEARING WOMEN WEEP.CAN YOU CRY FOR ME PLEASE
WHAT WILL MAKE U CRY IN PVT
CAN U PLEASE REPLY

I have received this message now from 3 different user names on adultwork has anyone else?

I've had this, yes.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 23 March 2015, 05:10:35 pm
Quote from: Exotic flower on 23 March 2015, 12:15:05 pm

HI HOW ARE YOU
I HAVE A CRYING FETISH I LIKE SEEING WOMEN CRY AND HEARING WOMEN WEEP.CAN YOU CRY FOR ME PLEASE
WHAT WILL MAKE U CRY IN PVT
CAN U PLEASE REPLY

I have received this message now from 3 different user names on adultwork has anyone else?

I hate messages in block caps like that, I just ignore them. Feel they are shouting at me x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 24 March 2015, 09:15:21 pm
2 texts from the same number;

First, "Do you need escort works for 25% commission?" Translated, do you need a pimp?

Second, "If you want to make naughty photos for escort and adultwork contact me. " Translated, wants freebies.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sourgrapes on 25 March 2015, 02:32:15 pm
Quote from: sourgrapes on 17 March 2015, 01:34:04 pm
Had a client ring and book role play or Saturday evening, 2 hour hotel outcall. Now I get a text message "did you get my pictures?"
Texted back "please don't send pictures - have a very old phone". Not so, but not in the mood to receive cock pics.
Get a text back: "Only to show my charme and beauty and elegance. I am very excited to meet you blah blah......"

I'll pick myself off the floor once I've stopped laughing.

The booking actally came off! The guy was podgy with moobs, unshaven and hung-over, and kept checking his blackberry all the way through 2 blow jobs.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jamie 1 on 26 March 2015, 10:56:10 pm
Do any of you get a lot of ping pong emails asking question after question.

This really does annoy me as my profile states what i offer and what i don't

I start off by answering the questions then either tell them to read my profile or stop replying to there stupid emails as i am a escort that provides sex not a Secretary that sits on the computer all day x ???

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DustedWithSugar on 27 March 2015, 12:22:00 am
Quote from: Bi guy x on 26 March 2015, 10:56:10 pm
Do any of you get a lot of ping pong emails asking question after question.

This really does annoy me as my profile states what i offer and what i don't

I start off by answering the questions then either tell them to read my profile or stop replying to there stupid emails as i am a escort that provides sex not a Secretary that sits on the computer all day x ???
yes I had it today. guy asking some stupid questions. i replied like a nice person and told him to contact me on my phone cos im busy today. he kept emailing. so i blocked him. if he cant follow simple instructions imagine how he would be at the booking??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jamie 1 on 27 March 2015, 07:03:54 am
Funny enough i had a guy contacting me whilst i was putting my post up,with constant pestering.

I checked the guys profile out and it was empty with no age,gender,town or any relevant information about himself except is age,so i was a wee bit reluctant to give him my number.

When i got the next repetitive email i noticed he had deleted my sent emails and i hit the block  sender button and was quite pleased i hadn't given given this pest my number as no doubt i would have got text after text from this idiot :) :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 27 March 2015, 07:46:19 am
 text yesterday Hi I just wanted to say I love your profile, can we text instead of meeting? !
 Me ... why don't you want to make a booking then?
 text  I cant meet you as I am so hideous  ::)
I text back with  so why are you bothering to get in touch?
I offer an escort service for gentlemen  not a text service.
 texter oh ok sorry !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sienna92 on 27 March 2015, 09:17:28 am
Just read this email...
Morning gorgeous, fancy meeting would love to try and get you pregnant too x
 : :o what the hell! I can't think of any thing worse.
That is definitely not how you book an escort! What a deluded man
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roxy666 on 27 March 2015, 12:06:04 pm
Email from idiot - YOU KEEN TO FUCK MY BIG COCK THIS EVENING!?

I just blocked him, thought about replying "not really, no" ..... But couldn't be bothered with the risk of abuse. Lol xox
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 27 March 2015, 12:47:41 pm
Quote from: roxy666 on 27 March 2015, 12:06:04 pm
Email from idiot - YOU KEEN TO FUCK MY BIG COCK THIS EVENING!?

I just blocked him, thought about replying "not really, no" ..... But couldn't be bothered with the risk of abuse. Lol xox

That's the reason why I get a lot of abuse.....I find it EXTREMELY hard not to respond to wankers like that which almost always results in abuse! Idiots x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roxy666 on 27 March 2015, 01:40:33 pm
Lol, I used to, but learnt not to as will put me in a shitty mood for the rest of the day lol xox
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sourgrapes on 27 March 2015, 01:56:52 pm
Quote from: sienna92 on 27 March 2015, 09:17:28 am
Just read this email...
Morning gorgeous, fancy meeting would love to try and get you pregnant too x
 : :o what the hell! I can't think of any thing worse.
That is definitely not how you book an escort! What a deluded man

Wow, that's a different way of requesting bareback!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jamie 1 on 27 March 2015, 10:55:39 pm
Quote from: roxy666 on 27 March 2015, 12:06:04 pm
Email from idiot - YOU KEEN TO FUCK MY BIG COCK THIS EVENING!?

I just blocked him, thought about replying "not really, no" ..... But couldn't be bothered with the risk of abuse. Lol xox
You are better off to block him as that will piss him off more than you replying to him with his big ego x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DustedWithSugar on 28 March 2015, 02:31:11 pm
I got email from a guy, something in tone "check out my pictures, fancy riding my cock", asking for price only for blowjob. Usually I just ignore them, but I replied in very sarcastic way... then he replied in very polite and normal way and I just felt sooo stupid. Golden rule from now - never reply!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 30 March 2015, 11:37:44 am
I had an email from a guy asking if I was available today to which I replied I was and he should call me to book. He replied asking for my postcode and that he didn't have my number. I replied that my number was below in my email signature... If he hasn't read my email properly I doubt he's read my details.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 30 March 2015, 11:40:37 am
Quote
Hi I'm in Exeter.. Do you fancy doing an early overnight say 2000 to 0500 as then off for early flight...I'm fun..sensible and giver not a taker so like making love not wham bam...320 cash and need regularly anyway...hope so!..Mark


 :FF :FF :FF

my answer (I couldnt help it   ;D)

Quote
Hi Mark, there.is no chance to travel to exeter plus 9 hours of booking for 320, the equivalent of 2 hours of out call :) I am sure u didnt intend to offend me :) Good luck finding a local girl, have fun
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 31 March 2015, 10:34:37 am
This text just arrived:

I'm 42 today! I was wondering if u could help. Im diabetic and bn gven viagra. Lost the leaflet. How long do they take to work! Thanks x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 31 March 2015, 10:40:37 am
And I got this gem last night:

Hi there Fab...how's it goin??? U look gorgeous on ur pics....a proper milf.u must be a gud fuck..u good at ducking cock...where u based in l,pool??? To x x

I'm certainly good at ducking this one!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 31 March 2015, 06:27:57 pm
One this afternoon phoned to book he then said he was running late which was Ok.  Then 65 minutes later he arrives. I didn't see. Talk about piss takers excuse my french.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 31 March 2015, 06:28:22 pm
One this afternoon phoned to book he then said he was running late which was Ok.  Then 65 minutes later he arrives. I didn't see. Talk about piss takers excuse my french.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 01 April 2015, 09:41:19 am
 I was called yesterday by a guy said he was a student and was travelling by bus to see me, or could I pick him up and take him back home !!!!! ::)  He  wanting a 2 hour booking, got suspicious as not many students have that kind of money to spend on me .  my gut instinct was  right as no call at 7pm to ask for postcode and confirmation  as id suggested .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 02 April 2015, 02:26:52 pm
Guy phones me up a while ago and hangs up while I'm still speaking, saved his number so I knew who he was should he phone again and the same thing happens then I know to block him, if it doesn't happen again then maybe there was another reason for him hanging up on me.

Anyways today, he phones back and ask for an appointment tomorrow, I offer him lunchtime and ask him a name for my diary, also so I can address him when I see him as its a bit weird having sex with a person who has no name and a fake name would do since we use fake names.

He tells me he doesn't want me to know who he is, I said what? (Thought I had misheard what he said) and he says I don't want you knowing who I am.

I hung up.

Weirdo thinks that's a normal way to speak to a girl who's going to invite her into her home and then have sex with him?

Did I ask for his real name? Did I ask for his full name? Did I ask for his address?

Could you imagine trying to have a conversation with that one? Even perhaps ice breaking chit chat?

Fuck feeling uncomfortable in my own home!

I wonder where these people get their ideas from!

He's just completely rude and weird/creepy!

Oh and he also sounded like he was having a wank....was totally out of breath!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 02 April 2015, 07:58:20 pm
Quote from: Miss K xXx on 02 April 2015, 02:26:52 pm
Guy phones me up a while ago and hangs up while I'm still speaking, saved his number so I knew who he was should he phone again and the same thing happens then I know to block him, if it doesn't happen again then maybe there was another reason for him hanging up on me.

Anyways today, he phones back and ask for an appointment tomorrow, I offer him lunchtime and ask him a name for my diary, also so I can address him when I see him as its a bit weird having sex with a person who has no name and a fake name would do since we use fake names.

He tells me he doesn't want me to know who he is, I said what? (Thought I had misheard what he said) and he says I don't want you knowing who I am.

I hung up.

Weirdo thinks that's a normal way to speak to a girl who's going to invite her into her home and then have sex with him?

Did I ask for his real name? Did I ask for his full name? Did I ask for his address?

Could you imagine trying to have a conversation with that one? Even perhaps ice breaking chit chat?

Fuck feeling uncomfortable in my own home!

I wonder where these people get their ideas from!

He's just completely rude and weird/creepy!

Oh and he also sounded like he was having a wank....was totally out of breath!
I had a caller ask for a booking, when I requested his name( as you do) he said "I don't want to give my name" so I just said well im not giving you a booking then if you cant say  give me something as simple as that !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Holly T on 02 April 2015, 08:04:11 pm
Quote from: Exotic flower on 02 April 2015, 07:58:20 pm
Quote from: Miss K xXx on 02 April 2015, 02:26:52 pm
Guy phones me up a while ago and hangs up while I'm still speaking, saved his number so I knew who he was should he phone again and the same thing happens then I know to block him, if it doesn't happen again then maybe there was another reason for him hanging up on me.

Anyways today, he phones back and ask for an appointment tomorrow, I offer him lunchtime and ask him a name for my diary, also so I can address him when I see him as its a bit weird having sex with a person who has no name and a fake name would do since we use fake names.

He tells me he doesn't want me to know who he is, I said what? (Thought I had misheard what he said) and he says I don't want you knowing who I am.

I hung up.

Weirdo thinks that's a normal way to speak to a girl who's going to invite her into her home and then have sex with him?

Did I ask for his real name? Did I ask for his full name? Did I ask for his address?

Could you imagine trying to have a conversation with that one? Even perhaps ice breaking chit chat?

Fuck feeling uncomfortable in my own home!

I wonder where these people get their ideas from!

He's just completely rude and weird/creepy!

Oh and he also sounded like he was having a wank....was totally out of breath!
I had a caller ask for a booking, when I requested his name( as you do) he said "I don't want to give my name" so I just said well im not giving you a booking then if you cant say  give me something as simple as that !

They don't always realise that we don't really care who they are so when they come out with that, I just say, "Oh not your real name, silly." They usually get the jist but if they're still hesitant I go on with, "Holly's not my real name, but it's what I'd like you to call me. So what should I call you?" and when they say Dave or whatever and I'll go, "Dave it is then!" in a cheery way. Have caused a few giggles with that, no idea why. Still, it saves losing the booking over a guy worried about his discretion (and rightly so).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 02 April 2015, 08:28:31 pm
I wasn't worried about loosing the booking as I already had him hang up on me mid speech one time and he didn't phone back or text and he was breathing heavy down the phone this time and didn't want to tell me who he was so in this case I think he's a bit of a red flag.

I have Indian sounding men, bad English tell me their name is John (quite clearly not his name) and I'm genuinely not bothered by that same as I use a fake name and as you said, if the guy sounded normal then I would have a joke with them so if someone wants to give me a fake name, that is no issue what so ever.

In this case, he gave me a bad vibe. I will PM you his number and if he calls you then you can take the call and suss him out for yourself.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 02 April 2015, 09:52:10 pm
I never ask a client on the phone whats his name is, if he doesnt tell me i save him under 2 pm friday for example and put his name in my phone after the booking (sometimes I forget to ask so I just change it to  Nice 120 or Swindon 70, etc. If he comes again I will ask what his name is, Im always bad at remembering from the first meeting anyway :)
I use a hint for them: What name shall I put in my phone for you? So they can say whatever name they want :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 02 April 2015, 10:01:30 pm
Quote from: hotblondie Bristol on 02 April 2015, 09:52:10 pm
I never ask a client on the phone whats his name is, if he doesnt tell me i save him under 2 pm friday for example and put his name in my phone after the booking (sometimes I forget to ask so I just change it to  Nice 120 or Swindon 70, etc. If he comes again I will ask what his name is, Im always bad at remembering from the first meeting anyway :)
I use a hint for them: What name shall I put in my phone for you? So they can say whatever name they want :)

I like to be a bit more organised and actually have a name in my diary and also, I prefer to have a name of some sort when inviting someone into my home. Doesn't have to be his real name, infact I don't ever expect them to give me their real name.

Just to be clear folks. I didn't have a problem with this guy not telling me his REAL details. I have a problem with him not even bothering to make something up and coming out with "I don't want you to know who I am" whilst heavy breathing. What kind of answer is that when a girl is about to invite you into her home to then engage in such an intimate service?

We obviously have different standards on what we think is acceptable and work different ways which is fair enough and precisely why I never take AW feedback for clients as a decision maker based on another girls experience. I always go with my own gut.

As I offer a relaxed GFE type service, i at least like to have a bit of an ice breaker before we do anything and with that guys response to me asking for an name, I can only imagine how dire and awkward being stuck alone in a room with him would be like.

I just got a bad vibe from him but then again, I do try to be super sensible about who I meet with. I never go with anything that gives me a bad vibe and I have a zero bullshit policy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 02 April 2015, 10:15:06 pm
Most guys I?ve had hang up on me usually do it at the beginning and sometimes send a text straight after like are you free  >:(   I don't even reply. Only a very few have hung up mid sentence and I think it's when they're wanking but I wait for a few minutes to see if they call back to explain. If not then I save them as a Hung up Not Sure although I tend to write them out. If they call again at a later date I will answer it just to see but they?ve all sounded strange.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 02 April 2015, 10:27:20 pm
Quote from: Bluetits on 02 April 2015, 10:15:06 pm
Most guys I?ve had hang up on me usually do it at the beginning and sometimes send a text straight after like are you free  >:(   I don't even reply. Only a very few have hung up mid sentence and I think it's when they're wanking but I wait for a few minutes to see if they call back to explain. If not then I save them as a Hung up Not Sure although I tend to write them out. If they call again at a later date I will answer it just to see but they?ve all sounded strange.

Yes this is EXACTLY what I do, I saved this guys number as he hung up on me last time and didn't text or call back after so what was the point in him phoning me at all? Unless he was having a wank which I am pretty certain he was doing today. When I asked him for a name, he was totally out of breath saying he didn't want me knowing who he was and that's also why I asked him to repeat himself, to make sure I heard him properly.

I've had men in the past vey obviously make up a fake name and that's fine but never had someone so boldly tell me he doesn't want me knowing who he is, I think that's quite rude and also offensive as to have an attitude like that towards me, it means he must think I'm some sort of terrible escort who's gonna blackmail him and have a pimp here waiting to do him in. I've hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of positive reviews so there's no reason for him to think I would be that type of person.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 02 April 2015, 11:11:09 pm
If someone hangs up on me I just block him under hang up :)
No wonder I have almost 900 numbers blocked, I am very selective :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 02 April 2015, 11:51:14 pm
Over 4 and half years, I have two working phones and have about 1800 no go's saved between both plus I've deleted some old ones in case phone gets full. 8 out of 10 calls I don't take further so I know I'm likely to turn ok ones down but I save them all. A lot of us are very selective.

If someone hangs up, (not midway as like I said, I tend to write them off and they've never rung back straight away) but at the beginning, I have had a few call back straight away and apologise as someone walked in on them and only providing the rest of the call is ok, then I've seen them and they've been nice or sometimes I've answered my phone too late so it seems like they've hung up.  It's not exactly an everyday thing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DustedWithSugar on 02 April 2015, 11:59:09 pm
There is almost two pages about mysterious nameless heavybreather, so I'm posting random picture of a cat in a jar:
http :// img1.gtimg.com/tech/pics/hv1/182/211/723/47067062 .jpg

Guy who lately won a golden medal for this championship was a guy who phoned me late evening, slurring: "are you open babe?"
I said I'm closed and hanged up.
Where those people come from  ;D



link made non clickable - but check it out it's really funny cat
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 03 April 2015, 12:03:15 am
Quote from: Bluetits on 02 April 2015, 11:51:14 pm
Over 4 and half years, I have two working phones and have about 1800 no go's saved between both plus I've deleted some old ones in case phone gets full. 8 out of 10 calls I don't take further so I know I'm likely to turn ok ones down but I save them all. A lot of us are very selective.

If someone hangs up, (not midway as like I said, I tend to write them off and they've never rung back straight away) but at the beginning, I have had a few call back straight away and apologise as someone walked in on them and only providing the rest of the call is ok, then I've seen them and they've been nice or sometimes I've answered my phone too late so it seems like they've hung up.  It's not exactly an everyday thing.

Yeah if they phone me back then I know they haven't just hung up on me but if they don't phone me back and have no other contact then I will save their number for next time to see what they do like j did in this guys case today and his phone call today was completely off putting.

I have an iPhone so have a blocked list as long as Santas naughty list and feck knows how many numbers I've saved but haven't quite blocked.

When I wake up in the morning, I instantly block all numbers of people who've phones me at stupid times.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 03 April 2015, 12:07:39 am
Got a text few days ago which said Hi English Woman are you opening today. Think I should save them up for a book.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 03 April 2015, 12:57:26 am
Saw the cat ;D but did it get out again? That's on my mind now!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss-M on 03 April 2015, 07:31:06 am
Updated all my profiles and web site yesterday, had some really genuine men/women over the past month or so, then as soon as I update all the weirdos come out to play!

First guy, very polite, took booking, got ready....no show ( haven't had that for a while! )

Second guy texts me " hi mistress, love your outfits, can't wait to get your knickers down and give you a good seeing too! " cretin, read my profile ' no sex allowed...block  :FF

Third guy, " hello darling ( WTF hate that ) I'm Tim been into the game of BDSM for a while ( game? It's not bloody hop scotch! ) and wanted to know if you switch, so I can show you how it's done? ( cheeky twat! ) I'm sure I'd be able to show you what domineering is and I do have a few pieces of equipment, do you? ( clearly hasn't looked at my website or profile on aw - I just have a room with a cane in it....knob jockey - fully equipped bloody chambers I have! ) then finishes with a full discription of who he is, stats, and then signs off with " I have many women under my power and I'm sure if we meet you will be another notch to add to my cane " ( is this guy for real? )

I did respond, only with a link to my website, he did reply with " wow, you are real, think it's a bit much for me though love (  :FF :FF :FF ) I was just after a bit of fun, sorry for playing " - TIM BUT BLOODY DIM I think......silly boys !
 
Forth guy woke up to this beauty this morning " hi mistress, do you receive oral? " - no introduction who he is, what he would like ( I know he stated oral but il get to that ) or just a brief discription as I said introduction, if he would of done a few of these and ended with " do you receive oral " I would of kindly replied back to him ' no I dont, but I do breath control ' ....blocked x

Sorry for the rant just really  :FF my head against a wall, as it seems when I update they all come out to waste our time!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 03 April 2015, 10:14:19 am
I save hanger-uppers as "Hung Up"

A couple of times, they've texted shortly after to say "I'm sorry I hung up - someone walked into the room." I accept that sort of apology. Otherwise, I consider them rude and have no interest in them.

What bugs me are the ones who hang up as soon as they decide that they don't want to see you. "Do you have a latex miniskirt?" "No, but I have a very sexy wet-look..." *click*

I tell myself that I've dodged a bullet but I'm still taken aback by the rudeness.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 03 April 2015, 11:13:50 am
Quote from: Fabulassie on 03 April 2015, 10:14:19 am
I save hanger-uppers as "Hung Up"

A couple of times, they've texted shortly after to say "I'm sorry I hung up - someone walked into the room." I accept that sort of apology. Otherwise, I consider them rude and have no interest in them.

What bugs me are the ones who hang up as soon as they decide that they don't want to see you. "Do you have a latex miniskirt?" "No, but I have a very sexy wet-look..." *click*

I tell myself that I've dodged a bullet but I'm still taken aback by the rudeness.

To be fair, I hang up on a lot of guys. When they say something ridiculous or ask for stuff I don't do, I just put the phone down as I don't know what to say to them as I've already decided I don't want to see them and don't want the confrontation.

Any potential client who contacts us has reviews etc to read on us so they generally know what they are walking into whereas we don't know them from Adam so the way I see it is.....I can only judge that potential client based on how they sound, how they come across and what they say. If I don't like the sound of them for whatever reason then I do tend to just hang up.

I also hang up on guys who phone me asking me if I am available NOW! I feckin hate that! I'm never available now or at short notice but my profile clearly states this.

But when a client hangs up on me but gets back to me, as you say.....someone walked in on them or something then of course I'm not going to grumble over that but if they hang up on me and don't get back to me that day then I save their number so that when they contact me again, I know roughly what I'm dealing with and so therefor wait to see what they do next. In yesterday's case, the guy sounded like he was wanking down the phone and rudely didn't want to give me a name to address him by. I think he would be a timewaster at best or a horrible booking/total red flag at worst.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 03 April 2015, 02:51:27 pm
Bank holiday bringing all the idiots out!
One guy:
"Can I have full address so I am not looking for it when I come?"
Repeatedly trying to guess where my flat is exactly
Asks for anal and filming for extra ?

Why do guys think that extra services will be on offer for more money?! Hello I'm a prossie, If I wanted to offer those it would be on escort profile with a price  ::)

"How much for a quick shag"

"What's postcode"

Glad I'm going home in 2 hours! Getting all my morning clients to text to confirm in the morning as well as bank hols always bring the TWs out.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 03 April 2015, 03:37:16 pm
I've had a sudden spate of hagglers for some unknown reason! I'm not sure why they think I'll jump at the chance to see them for less than my rate...

Haggler 1: Do you negotiate?x
Me: My prices are as stated on my profile if that's what you mean?
Haggler 1: So you won't lower any prices or do any deals?

Haggler 2: How much for half hour xxx
Me: (replied with rate)
Haggler 2: 60 at mine ? [rather lower than my outcall rate]
Me: [intentionally misunderstanding] 60 mins, 1 hour is ?X
Haggler 2: ?60 for the first half hour if you are worth it I'll pay twice a week ?200 1 hour xxx

Sure, dude that I've never seen before - I totally trust that you'll pay that much more than my rate after getting so much less than my rate. I just text these idiots back with 'Check Adultwork's search if you wish to find a cheaper rate'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 03 April 2015, 04:23:00 pm
Ive had a call today from a dodgy sounding guy who asked if I can see him for free lol.
Asked him WHY? Then blocked him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 03 April 2015, 09:27:46 pm
Him: "Hey babe when are u free x" Urgh, babe :/

Me: "You can check out my upcoming availability at my website below. "

Him: "Could I see you tomorrow babe x" Obviously didn't check out my website as it states I'm not available.

Me: "You can check out my upcoming availability at my website below." So I couldn't be bothered to give him a different response.
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nachos on 04 April 2015, 12:51:57 pm
-What's the cheapest rate you have?

-It would be a half hour rate.

-Its too much,  I just wanted to try you out. Can I just come and try it first,  don't worry I can still give you something.....

-BLOCKED!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 04 April 2015, 04:20:10 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 03 April 2015, 09:27:46 pm
Him: "Hey babe when are u free x" Urgh, babe :/

Me: "You can check out my upcoming availability at my website below. "

Him: "Could I see you tomorrow babe x" Obviously didn't check out my website as it states I'm not available.

Me: "You can check out my upcoming availability at my website below." So I couldn't be bothered to give him a different response.
 

the minute  they call me" babe " down the phone I know whats not going to be happening, I can even picture them lol ! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 04 April 2015, 05:04:44 pm
Quote from: chance on 04 April 2015, 12:51:57 pm
-What's the cheapest rate you have?

-It would be a half hour rate.

-Its too much,  I just wanted to try you out. Can I just come and try it first,  don't worry I can still give you something.....

-BLOCKED!!!

I instantly hang up and block ANYONE who phones me up asking me wheat the best price I can offer is! Cheeky arseholes! It's cringeworthy!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissCurtis on 05 April 2015, 01:58:07 pm
Where do people stand on picture messages of male bits, accompanied with a message? Because that'll do...what...make me say "oh that's so nice I'll give you a discount. Lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 05 April 2015, 04:33:46 pm
Quote from: MissCurtis on 05 April 2015, 01:58:07 pm
Where do people stand on picture messages of male bits, accompanied with a message? Because that'll do...what...make me say "oh that's so nice I'll give you a discount. Lol.

I won't see anyone who does that. It's right up there with text speak, etc.

And it's also one reason why I'm not on Whatsapp. Although they can still text photos, they seem less likely to do so.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 06 April 2015, 02:32:16 pm
Mr texter is back today with his charismatic message
" Do you like to fuck up the arse?"
So my client called him back as a favour to me and he got a surprise hearing a deep male voice, (thinking he had got lucky with me) he told him "I do not allow my girls to deal with people  like you now don't make contact again"
 dealt with  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss K xXx on 07 April 2015, 06:53:42 pm
Is it just me or am I the only one who's put off by guys who phone your number asking to speak to you or asking to make a booking with you like they are speaking to your pimp or maid? Like why wouldn't I be answering my own phone and taking my own bookings if you'd actually read my profile and knew that I was an independent escort?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 08 April 2015, 10:33:46 am
2:41 "your not working"
I replied this morning "not at 2am, an astute observation"

What was even the point in that text hahah
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 08 April 2015, 01:18:29 pm
Quote from: Miss K xXx on 07 April 2015, 06:53:42 pm
Is it just me or am I the only one who's put off by guys who phone your number asking to speak to you or asking to make a booking with you like they are speaking to your pimp or maid? Like why wouldn't I be answering my own phone and taking my own bookings if you'd actually read my profile and knew that I was an independent escort?
the trouble is they don't read our profiles properly or know how to talk to us on the phone.
Some do but this seems to be a small% of callers
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 08 April 2015, 01:25:30 pm
caller asks how many times in an hour he can cum?
I asked him how many times does he usually cum in an hour
he stated usually 5 times  ::) I also found it impossible to believe !
its been jerk callers today ! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Treetop on 09 April 2015, 03:38:53 am
This is my weirdest and worst one to date. Earlier today.
I had a ad in freecycle to get rid off some junk.

Phone call -
Talked for a min about quality of my stuff location etc then...
Punter - "Is this (workname)? On (my road)"
Me - oh balls. Yes it is, have we met hun?
Punter- I can take all of it away if you give me a bj.
Me- well you rang about my freecycle ad but I can fit a half hour booking in at the same time if that's what you want.
Punter - no, I'll take your stuff for a bj
Me- it's free cycle! You called for my stuff, do you want a booking too?
Punter - no ill take your stuff for you for a bj.
Me- you want free oral as well as a free bike and furniture?
Punter- 20 quid for the bits and a bj...
This went on till my head hurt and i started crying so I hung up.

I have 17 missed calls from this guy on my landline, 4 on my work phone and a message on aw trying to get a cheap booking.
Freecycle! I must be the first hooker to be booked via free cycle! Lmfao.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chloe94 on 09 April 2015, 08:29:55 am
Him: when you're back I have a business meeting down in the south of England. It would be overnight and very classy clients etc. would you be interested?
Me: sorry I don't do overnights or travel x
Him: that's a shame you're such a lovely girl too xx
Me: South of England is a bit far for me, I'll tell you a secret - I snore like a train! Lol x
Him: even in a bmw m5?
Him: I run a business in carlisle, it's very lucrative. If you change your mind and fancy a night of high end dinners, the best champagne and super cars - let me know :) otherwise, when are you back in carlisle? X
Him: (at 5am) u back in Carlisle now?
Me: no thank you I'm not really the kind to care about cars and fancy things - prefer just doing incalls x


I remember this guy, booked an hour and spent most of it talking about how rich he is then overstayed because he wanted sex once he was done stroking his ego. Also his hygiene wasn't great.

I tried to politely decline because the whole thing sounds like my idea of hell. He probably thinks I'm a money grabbing hooker but at the end of the day I don't do overnights, outcalls or travel and no fee will change that. He met me so if he paid any attention to me he would know I'm very down to earth.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 14 April 2015, 01:04:05 pm
Well, it's a prossie rite of passage for me! I just had my very first phone wanker! Talks in a quiet voice, heavy breathing, weird questions, took me a good 30 seconds to hear the faint wanking sound in the background. Put the phone down. Now I know I am truly an escort. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tigerlily on 15 April 2015, 02:10:56 am
I am a belgian guy who will visit London for business this week. If i go abroad i alwaysblike to combine with a bit of personal pleasure

Inam fond of a GFE with a lot of DFK, licking ly ears and body and a very sensual B2B massage. I like that more than just fuck or suck

If i read your profile i guess you can provide these services, right ?

Could we meet on one of these 3 evenings ? The later in the evening, the better

I see you also,privide outcall service. Woukd it eventually be possibke to cole to the Novotel hotel because that s where i will be staying the next days. Do you know this hotel and it will not give any troubke passing the reception for you ?

Please let me kniw your preference

Hope to hear frol you soon and maybe we will meet !

Kind regards
Paul (mybreal nale)


Typos are typos, but WTF?! Is this classic wank-and-type?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 15 April 2015, 03:36:51 am
Quote from: tigerLily on 15 April 2015, 02:10:56 am
I am a belgian guy who will visit London for business this week. If i go abroad i alwaysblike to combine with a bit of personal pleasure

Inam fond of a GFE with a lot of DFK, licking ly ears and body and a very sensual B2B massage. I like that more than just fuck or suck

If i read your profile i guess you can provide these services, right ?

Could we meet on one of these 3 evenings ? The later in the evening, the better

I see you also,privide outcall service. Woukd it eventually be possibke to cole to the Novotel hotel because that s where i will be staying the next days. Do you know this hotel and it will not give any troubke passing the reception for you ?

Please let me kniw your preference

Hope to hear frol you soon and maybe we will meet !

Kind regards
Paul (mybreal nale)


Typos are typos, but WTF?! Is this classic wank-and-type?

I wouldn't say necessarily so - he's non-English and trying to request the services he requires. But always go with your gut :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: peachybum on 16 April 2015, 08:59:00 pm
Had to put this on here, made me giggle a little. Just the arrogance of him  :FF

Him - Hello, do you offer submissive role play where you would act out the mindless slave for me? Going under my spell? Acting docile? No pain etc. Regards,

Me - No thank you

Him - No problem!What boring fantasies do you accommodate for then? Since it's actually listed on your profile and I'm waving my pimp stick at you.... Regards,

Me - Pimp stick?

Him - Correct. I'm impressed you can read. Are you a wannabe prostitute?

Me - Unsure of why you would think that. I think you're just a little upset that I declined your offer for that sort of roleplay. Have a good day and I hope you find what you're looking for. Much love........

Wow, I just could not believe his attitude...like a spoilt brat bring told no, but I think I did very well when responding to it as I'm normally quite mouthy but I had a feeling this was not the person to argue with. So round of applause for me!! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 16 April 2015, 09:06:03 pm
Surreal :D
'pimp stick' ;D
Was he phoning in from the 1960s?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 17 April 2015, 10:13:44 am


Does he mean a flash walking stick with a big brass skull head with jewelled eyes?

I want one to match my pimp cup.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LAC-xox on 17 April 2015, 02:52:39 pm
Quote from: Exotic flower on 06 April 2015, 02:32:16 pm
Mr texter is back today with his charismatic message
" Do you like to fuck up the arse?"
So my client called him back as a favour to me and he got a surprise hearing a deep male voice, (thinking he had got lucky with me) he told him "I do not allow my girls to deal with people  like you now don't make contact again"
 dealt with  :D

I have a texter like this, every couple of days he texts me out of the blue saying "am I wrong for fucking a girl younger than you up the arse?" 
I've never once replied, and it's always exactly the same message!
I do wonder what he gets out of it   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 17 April 2015, 03:02:27 pm
Quote from: Samsam-1000 on 17 April 2015, 02:52:39 pm


I have a texter like this, every couple of days he texts me out of the blue saying "am I wrong for fucking a girl younger than you up the arse?" 
I've never once replied, and it's always exactly the same message!
I do wonder what he gets out of it   ;D

I wonder how many girls he sends that to lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 17 April 2015, 04:10:04 pm
"25 and I pay for your taxi? Will you bring toys"

Business may be slow, but I'm not that desperate!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 21 April 2015, 09:43:34 pm
From todays wtf? collection:

'Subject:
beating me!!

Message:
hello! the only reason i wont come to see u for a strapon and caning beating would be if u are a labour voter? as that wld mean your half sharp... if your not then i wld luv to be beat by you miss xxx'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 21 April 2015, 10:13:08 pm
Can't wait to see how it turns out! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PissedOffPrincess on 21 April 2015, 11:36:11 pm
Him : Could u come to mine at 11pm

ME  :  No honey I dont do outcalls after 9pm to newbies

Him : I have to wait for the teenagers to go to sleep before you come round so it has to be late

Me : bye, have a lovely evening.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Him : can you do an outcall to my place

Me : feeling those gut instinct feelings and after a few mins talk : Will you be alone in the house

Him : My aunt is here but we will be quiet and not wake her up

      I am much too nice and do explain to people why there has to be only the two of us in the house for a call, he took it well


::::::::::::::::: should I have signed in with a disguise name lol ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Only the guilty will recognise themselves and no identifying info will be given  :-*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 22 April 2015, 01:34:32 pm
This is funny all that was texted was addressed postcode then I replied only after confirmed bookings he will need to phone. He texted back its ok. And left it at that. It sounds like he had some thing to hide. Otherwise he would have phoned with interest. Many sly ones operate like this.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 22 April 2015, 04:17:16 pm
Quote
Good afternoon,

I'm Phil and I am 42 and live in *** Leicestershire (between Leicester and Loughborough)
Please feel free to check me out, you can facebook **** or if you Google me you will see I am a Director and owner of a company called ******.
Fully appreciate you must be inundated with new requests for appointments, however I was hoping to book you (if I make the grade) for a out call one evening on a date of your convenience.
I thought it would be nice to maybe have a dinner date first followed by an appointment so I guess 4 hours min. But you can let me know accordingly.
Random I know but I purchased a Sybian at Christmas (and I am single, think it comes under RDP.....Random Drunken Purchase LOL) and its still in the box along with a Shockspot fucking machine and a violet wand (Yes all on the same night......it was Christmas, the brandy came out and the rest is history LOL) so if you would like to give any or all a try your more than welcome.
Hope to hear from you soon, but fully appreciate if your to busy to reply.

Have a super evening Phil x
 

I actually lost my patience at this point as my profile states that I won't see anyone with 0 feedback unless it's at a hotel near me, yet I've been getting several emails a day this week asking for incalls from people with 0 feedback. So at this point I decided to reply to him (I know I should ignore it, and I usually do...) and told him I neither do toys (ESPECIALLY not massive mechanical ones that I would have no control over!!) nor home visits to people with 0 feedback and to read a girls profile instead of wasting both of our time.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 22 April 2015, 05:13:27 pm
To top it off I have a client who called me once yesterday and once the day before to see when I might be free even though he had no clue when he would be free as he never seems to know when he'll be done working for the day. I'd pretty much taken him as a TW.

I said I might be free this afternoon but I ended up being busy. Got home to 5 missed calls from the guy... wtf?! He's been trying to call me all day... surely he should have realised by now that I'm not available.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 24 April 2015, 11:33:01 am
I'm posting in this thread quite a lot lately! This was sent to me at 4am:

Quote
Good morning,

I love the profile and your feed back is excellent to match,

A very sexy young hot lady in the pics too, very fresh and beautiful ;)

I know it's a cheeky request....but are you available now for an out all....I'm based in Lincoln sbout 40 miles from you / an hours drive ....:

I apologise for the last min asking it's just the chance had arose so thought id take the opportunity while I havevit ;)
I'm a mid thirties guy, 100% clean and discreet, have my own home and in my own fir a few days ;)

If you could that be great, but if not I totally understand as it very early;)

Kind regards,

J
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: poppy14 on 25 April 2015, 07:20:08 pm
How bloody annoying I've had 4 messages today from a fantasist reading this-

Hi there

I know this is probably a long shot. But I am looking to be humiliated and degraded once a week ( no sex) long term. I am looking for a hour of humiliation and I would attend weekly. I cant really pay anything -but would work so hard to make you happy, and cook and clean. I hope we can organise something as you are stunning.I also have a degree in photographic and electronic media (first class BA hone- can prove this) and can make media content for you if Im your slave- run a clips for sale site for you and be your online working drone).

Kind regards

When  I didn't  respond  to the 1st I received another and another and another  then after the 4th i said " im sorry but its a no " and then I received this-

Hi there. Your such a princess. I'm looking to be a cleaning slave once a week to a lady. I can't py anything but will clean really hard. I also have a first I. Media so can Create vid and photography work for you. I can prior my first class media degree

I'm sure I'm not the only one I just think Is he for real do who actually  do things like this in exchange for cleaning  etc? Surely  not. Anyway he just annoyed me I've now blocked him.




Moved to correct thread/section, AW nick removed
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 25 April 2015, 08:32:06 pm
Hi I have always wanted to fuck a fat bird..  Hung up on him he rang back so I deafened him with my rape alarm lol... Tosser
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 26 April 2015, 06:34:58 am
I got this beauty at 4am, no prior contact, no introduction, just this! :

"OK so I need a lift to Keighley. Want a bj too, willing to pay. Can you do? "

BLOCKED

For some reason I didn't feel like explaining why I'm not getting out of bed at 4am to pick up an obviously wrecked stranger, drive an hours drive to take him home, suck him off, then drive an hours drive back home...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 26 April 2015, 09:10:48 am
caller put himself on loud speaker sounding really creepy like something out of a late night horror film
"hi can I get a 4 hr. booking. im in the town?"
I felt quite uncomfortable so asked how long he wanted again , then said oh 2 hrs, I said I don't do 4 or 2 hr bookings .
"I need to see you luv"
I cut the call as this is a no go timewaster bad vive  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 26 April 2015, 10:56:14 am
"You want it up the ass?" from text pest
fuck off  from .. me.
"oh come on"   text pest
Ive given your mobile out to loads of other escorts if they want you they will call you, I don't. .. me
 thanku...  text pest
lol  that has to be the thickest person ive ever received a text from  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 26 April 2015, 11:37:14 am
Quote from: curvywench on 25 April 2015, 08:32:06 pm
Hi I have always wanted to fuck a fat bird..  Hung up on him he rang back so I deafened him with my rape alarm lol... Tosser

LOL good action!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 26 April 2015, 11:40:28 am
First email of the day - obviously trying to tug at my heartstrings for a freebie!

The last email I sent him said I don't send out pictures for privacy and discretion:

No problem, I understand.

I can't help but think that this isn't for you, if the truth be known, and it's just a case of 'needs must' and that your friends, work colleagues and family would be horrified and don't know the circumstances / story behind this.

I believe that you are an honest, sincere, genuine, kind hearted lady with a lot of good qualities and I wouldn't want to be seen to exploit your good nature.

Ideally, I would like a FWB sort of thing and I have the qualities that you would look for in a man + I'm a good cook and I am good with my hands ;-)

How's this for an offer?  I can give you a sensual massage with lavendar oil and baby oil warmed up in my hands and a (female) happy ending and all I would like in return is to cuddle in to your bosom afterwards with some hand relief.

I do miss cuddles, affection and I do have a high libido + I have been told that I got more than my fair share when the willies were dished out!  haha

For all I may be a bit older than you, with age comes experience and wisdom in knowing how to take care of a lady's needs, whims and desires.

I live just down from the Commonwealth Pool in a lovely, cosy flat.

I am open to any suggestions / offers from you, and I hope this finds you well.

Take care - . x


I mean he's offering me a massage - with lavender oil! - how can I refuse girls?  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 26 April 2015, 02:37:06 pm
Also, how does he know you're doing it because you 'have' to? My friends know what I do, so certainly wouldn't be 'horrified' lol.

Additionally, why bring that up seeing as he's not offering you financial security?

What kind of delusions is he having that any escort would go for that!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 26 April 2015, 02:41:24 pm
Exactly!  And as for all my good qualities...he's emailled me once before asking for a face picture which I refused, so how the fuck would he know I'm this wonderful person?  I could be living rough and shooting up 10 times a day for all he knows!

But then I guess suggesting I'm wonderful has more chance of getting a freebie doesn't it.

Eeejit.  I wonder if anyone ever falls for this shit.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 26 April 2015, 06:36:38 pm
It does make me laugh when they think we're all in desperate need of a FWB, as if we're not getting enough 'nice' sex or something. My FWBs have to be younger than me, fit as fuck and well endowed, just for starters!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 26 April 2015, 08:57:57 pm
God I know.  But it's OK he's upped his offer...to a whopping ?40 for an hour!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 27 April 2015, 01:26:48 pm
Quote from: poppy14 on 25 April 2015, 07:20:08 pm
How bloody annoying I've had 4 messages today from a fantasist reading this-

Hi there

I know this is probably a long shot. But I am looking to be humiliated and degraded once a week ( no sex) long term. I am looking for a hour of humiliation and I would attend weekly. I cant really pay anything -but would work so hard to make you happy, and cook and clean. I hope we can organise something as you are stunning.I also have a degree in photographic and electronic media (first class BA hone- can prove this) and can make media content for you if Im your slave- run a clips for sale site for you and be your online working drone).

Kind regards

When  I didn't  respond  to the 1st I received another and another and another  then after the 4th i said " im sorry but its a no " and then I received this-

Hi there. Your such a princess. I'm looking to be a cleaning slave once a week to a lady. I can't py anything but will clean really hard. I also have a first I. Media so can Create vid and photography work for you. I can prior my first class media degree

I'm sure I'm not the only one I just think Is he for real do who actually  do things like this in exchange for cleaning  etc? Surely  not. Anyway he just annoyed me I've now blocked him.


The 1st one is a copy and paste one, he must send it to thousands of girls, I've had it twice this year..  ::)



Moved to correct thread/section, AW nick removed
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 27 April 2015, 03:34:57 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 26 April 2015, 08:57:57 pm
God I know.  But it's OK he's upped his offer...to a whopping ?40 for an hour!

Come on, you can't say no to that!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 27 April 2015, 03:49:34 pm
Bid on a RB for today. He messaged me a few days later to ask if my offer rate was still available. I told him it was and until what date.

This morning a booking request comes through and he says 'just checking we're still on for this afternoon'... Sorry, what?!

How does inquiring about rates equate to a booking?

I don't know about anyone else here, but for me I don't put aside the time for RB I bid on unless they email me say they wish to book.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 28 April 2015, 08:29:17 am
I had a caller wanting to come, all the way from east London , he wanted to know the train route  times and details more than  what he wanted to discuss in the booking !
He asked for lift from my nearest station , in the end I asked him to find someone nearer he was really getting on my nerves
I do not work for London underground I told him! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 28 April 2015, 03:26:59 pm
Quote from: Exotic flower on 28 April 2015, 08:29:17 am
I had a caller wanting to come, all the way from east London , he wanted to know the train route  times and details more than  what he wanted to discuss in the booking !
He asked for lift from my nearest station , in the end I asked him to find someone nearer he was really getting on my nerves
I do not work for London underground I told him! :FF
I had one yesterday who wanted to know what buses come to where I live. Not so bad but he asked my rates (on all my ads) and I asked if he'd read my ad and he said yes. Then he asked what area I was in, also on my profile. I hung up on him, ignored his calls then he rang me from another number! I just told him as he hadn't read my profile I didn't think he was serious.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 28 April 2015, 06:18:44 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 28 April 2015, 03:26:59 pm
Quote from: Exotic flower on 28 April 2015, 08:29:17 am
I had a caller wanting to come, all the way from east London , he wanted to know the train route  times and details more than  what he wanted to discuss in the booking !
He asked for lift from my nearest station , in the end I asked him to find someone nearer he was really getting on my nerves
I do not work for London underground I told him! :FF
I had one yesterday who wanted to know what buses come to where I live. Not so bad but he asked my rates (on all my ads) and I asked if he'd read my ad and he said yes. Then he asked what area I was in, also on my profile. I hung up on him, ignored his calls then he rang me from another number! I just told him as he hadn't read my profile I didn't think he was serious.
I will tell them I charge extra for London transport and bus route info  lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 28 April 2015, 08:15:30 pm
Quote
Subject:    Availability tomorrow

Hey,

I'm trying to arrange a meet for tomorrow evening. Not sure the one I have arranged is going ahead or not so always good to have a plan b.

Wondered if you would be available tomorrow evening and what notice you would need?

Thanks :)

Bloody cheecky or plain idiot.
Just told him no one likes to be plan B or C. Me included.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 28 April 2015, 08:21:54 pm
It's the best thing that he said what was in his banana-head! :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 28 April 2015, 08:30:46 pm
true  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 28 April 2015, 08:41:51 pm
Quote from: hotblondie Bristol on 28 April 2015, 08:15:30 pm
Quote
Subject:    Availability tomorrow

Hey,

I'm trying to arrange a meet for tomorrow evening. Not sure the one I have arranged is going ahead or not so always good to have a plan b.

Wondered if you would be available tomorrow evening and what notice you would need?

Thanks :)

I've had that before!  A guy I corresponded with for AGES to get things arranged, he was already starting to do my head in (he asked me if he could book an hour but over 2 days to make it more fun?  I told him yeah but at 2 half hour rates!  Then he asked if he could have a special rate I had running at the time for long bookings pro rata for an hour?  Twat), then the day before the booking he said he had another girl coming over the next day and so 'wouldn't be able to make 2 in two days, but I'm definitely on his hotlist!'

I told him I may be on his hotlist, but he was firmly on my blocked list!  Where he remains to this day.

Plan B indeed!   >:(

Bloody cheecky or plain idiot.
Just told him no one likes to be plan B or C. Me included.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 29 April 2015, 11:24:16 am
Younger-looking fellow (face pic avatar) with charming lines like "I wanna fuck you today" and nickname Homeboy. Yeah, no. &gt;.&gt;
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 29 April 2015, 01:25:43 pm
Quote from: The_Lynx on 29 April 2015, 11:24:16 am
Younger-looking fellow (face pic avatar) with charming lines like "I wanna fuck you today" and nickname Homeboy. Yeah, no. &gt;.&gt;

No.  Just no!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 29 April 2015, 01:50:35 pm
Second AW message from wannabe photographer...

"I was just wondering if you would like any new images for your self promotion, i have been a photographer for the last 4 years and am looking to help models/escorts etc get more from their advertising via well taken lingerie/topless/boudoir style images, i feel the right images really boost the interest in the page up to getting more work,i am literally only based in sleaford and do photography full time with a studio in my home so have plenty of free time, my rate is just ?45 for 2 hrs shooting, and for that you can have a slection of the images for your promotion and i can happily sign any agreement you bring to waver my rights to use any of the images myself as i am getting paid :) Also if your after some super high quality glamour style cleavge ,topless selfie style shots i am seriously good at that kinda stuff, many regards "

Just the last part made me laugh. If he's so good then why he is having to message girls to try and get work?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 29 April 2015, 04:17:21 pm
Quote
I want to spend one night with you.
I have some fetishes and I want to know Which ones u supported ?
1.booger & snot in my mouth.
2.hardsport (poo in my mouth and make me eat)
3.very stinky feet (I like to worship your feet while they are very smelly , salty & sweety)
4.faring in my face .
5.squirt in my mouth .
Please answer me completely with details .
contact me via email.
see you soon.

Pass!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 29 April 2015, 06:45:21 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 29 April 2015, 01:50:35 pm
Second AW message from wannabe photographer...

"I was just wondering if you would like any new images for your self promotion, i have been a photographer for the last 4 years and am looking to help models/escorts etc get more from their advertising via well taken lingerie/topless/boudoir style images, i feel the right images really boost the interest in the page up to getting more work,i am literally only based in sleaford and do photography full time with a studio in my home so have plenty of free time, my rate is just ?45 for 2 hrs shooting, and for that you can have a slection of the images for your promotion and i can happily sign any agreement you bring to waver my rights to use any of the images myself as i am getting paid :) Also if your after some super high quality glamour style cleavge ,topless selfie style shots i am seriously good at that kinda stuff, many regards "

Just the last part made me laugh. If he's so good then why he is having to message girls to try and get work?!

I had one like this via email....normally I just ignore them but scary thing about this guy was he sent me photos of other girls to support his claims....faces all fully on show.  Maybe they knew, but who knows?

This is why I'm VERY wary of trusting a photographer.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: belle-de-poor on 29 April 2015, 07:02:45 pm
someone text me "would you do gucci bag for 30 mins"

at first i thought it was something sexual i hadn't heard of yet, like advanced tea bagging
until he called to clarify he meant a gucci bag in exchange for 30 mins  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 29 April 2015, 07:11:12 pm
Quote from: belle-de-poor on 29 April 2015, 07:02:45 pm
someone text me "would you do gucci bag for 30 mins"

at first i thought it was something sexual i hadn't heard of yet, like advanced tea bagging
until he called to clarify he meant a gucci bag in exchange for 30 mins  ::)

I got that same guy. He also offered me an iPhone 4 on another occasion. I told him "I do not have sex for phones or handbags. Please stop texting me." So far, he hasn't texted me again.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 30 April 2015, 02:48:23 am
Quote from: KayHerts on 29 April 2015, 04:17:21 pm
Quote
I want to spend one night with you.
I have some fetishes and I want to know Which ones u supported ?
1.booger & snot in my mouth.
2.hardsport (poo in my mouth and make me eat)
3.very stinky feet (I like to worship your feet while they are very smelly , salty & sweety)
4.faring in my face .
5.squirt in my mouth .
Please answer me completely with details .
contact me via email.
see you soon.

Pass!

He's contacted me before! YUCK to all of the requests  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 30 April 2015, 10:42:30 am
"Please answer me completely with details."

Could he be any more transparent?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 30 April 2015, 09:24:19 pm
''Fancy a fuck for an iphone 4, I just got an upgrade''
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 30 April 2015, 11:53:02 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 30 April 2015, 09:24:19 pm
''Fancy a fuck for an iphone 4, I just got an upgrade''

Dear Lord! I've been offered an iPhone 4, but the bit about him having upgraded wasn't brought up.

If he had, I'd have been tempted to reply "Naw... perfectly happy with my brand-new Samsung Galaxy Note over here. LOL at your iPhone."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 01 May 2015, 09:24:28 am
About a year ago a guy texted me saying

"I've got no money but I've got an iPhone, would you swap for a half hour booking? It's only 2 weeks old so worth more than what you charge for half an hour "

Me-" I don't exchange services for goods. The obvious thing to do if you have no money and are willing to give up your phone is to sell it somewhere that buys iphones and not make a tool of yourself trying to get a booking"

Him- "I would babe but it's broken"

...
After I finished laughing I blocked him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 01 May 2015, 12:33:29 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 30 April 2015, 11:53:02 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 30 April 2015, 09:24:19 pm
''Fancy a fuck for an iphone 4, I just got an upgrade''

Dear Lord! I've been offered an iPhone 4, but the bit about him having upgraded wasn't brought up.

If he had, I'd have been tempted to reply "Naw... perfectly happy with my brand-new Samsung Galaxy Note over here. LOL at your iPhone."

I know what a charmer eh? I now have a note on my profile about not exchanging goods and services!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 01 May 2015, 12:35:13 pm
Quote from: BJC on 01 May 2015, 09:24:28 am
About a year ago a guy texted me saying

"I've got no money but I've got an iPhone, would you swap for a half hour booking? It's only 2 weeks old so worth more than what you charge for half an hour "

Me-" I don't exchange services for goods. The obvious thing to do if you have no money and are willing to give up your phone is to sell it somewhere that buys iphones and not make a tool of yourself trying to get a booking"

Him- "I would babe but it's broken"

...
After I finished laughing I blocked him.

I laughed I must admit...but Jesus!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 01 May 2015, 01:16:59 pm
I know this happens all the time to I expect all of you but it REALLY pisses me off....

They call, all nice and polite, genuine sounding and you agree a time and date and THEN they ask how much it'll be, you tell them and they just hang up!

It's so bloody rude. Surely if they haven't managed to see my rates despite them being clear on all my advertising and on website and they have a budget they'd ask that first?!

And because they just hang up I can't tell them they are rude idiots! Grrrr.
They get saved as Tosspot or similar in my phone so they can't do it again!

rant over.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 01 May 2015, 01:18:47 pm
What use is someone else's iPhone? I mean, you can buy them used and they'll be unlocked and presumably working. But iPhones lock to the first network you put a SIM for in and for all we know these things are stolen or something. If someone were to offer me a phone and I was actually wanting one I would still have to do a lot of looking it over to make sure it was suitable. I'd have to put my SIM in and check it and perhaps my SIM isn't the right size... just a stupid fucking fuss for all that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 01 May 2015, 02:09:02 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 01 May 2015, 01:18:47 pm
What use is someone else's iPhone? I mean, you can buy them used and they'll be unlocked and presumably working. But iPhones lock to the first network you put a SIM for in and for all we know these things are stolen or something. If someone were to offer me a phone and I was actually wanting one I would still have to do a lot of looking it over to make sure it was suitable. I'd have to put my SIM in and check it and perhaps my SIM isn't the right size... just a stupid fucking fuss for all that.

That's the first thing I thought, not that I'd ever have agreed to it anyway but if you did all they then have to do is report it stolen, they get a replacement and you have a phone that's hot and locked down that you're going to get arrested if you try and sell or get unlocked.

If I wanted an iphone I'd rather have the cash and buy my own!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 01 May 2015, 02:10:30 pm
Another one for the history books:

GUY:  Are you busy just now xxxx?
ME:  I am at the moment yeah
GUY:  That's good.  I am burning real beech logs over here, what a waste of good wood x

I never answered, because I honestly couldn't think of one.  Is that some sort of metaphor?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 01 May 2015, 02:11:53 pm
Quote from: MinxyLydia on 01 May 2015, 01:16:59 pm
I know this happens all the time to I expect all of you but it REALLY pisses me off....

They call, all nice and polite, genuine sounding and you agree a time and date and THEN they ask how much it'll be, you tell them and they just hang up!

It's so bloody rude. Surely if they haven't managed to see my rates despite them being clear on all my advertising and on website and they have a budget they'd ask that first?!

And because they just hang up I can't tell them they are rude idiots! Grrrr.
They get saved as Tosspot or similar in my phone so they can't do it again!

rant over.

Or they make the booking and then start asking what services they'll be getting...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 01 May 2015, 03:16:53 pm
Quote
hi beautiful

i am 34, handsome male, athletic body and i live in Athens in Greece in a very modern stylish 4 bedroom house. i have recently moved to Athens from London

let me know if you want to holiday in Athens. i am on whatsapp, skype and facetime

this is NOT an escort booking. this is an all expenses covered holidays offer. but you can also choose to live with me as if my wife
 

How can I say no to a guy who couldn't even be bothered to add individual names when spamming  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 01 May 2015, 09:12:06 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 01 May 2015, 02:10:30 pm
Another one for the history books:

GUY:  Are you busy just now xxxx?
ME:  I am at the moment yeah
GUY:  That's good.  I am burning real beech logs over here, what a waste of good wood x

I never answered, because I honestly couldn't think of one.  Is that some sort of metaphor?

a gamekeeper or country squire perhaps? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 01 May 2015, 10:39:05 pm
So i am a big burd, right! And today I had a client who said "sorry just need to ensure you are not a drug user, so need to look for track marks" lol I seriously burst out laughing at the guy and once he was satisfied handed him his money back and wished him a good weekend.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 01 May 2015, 10:59:13 pm
Quote from: Fluffy Bunny on 01 May 2015, 10:39:05 pm
So i am a big burd, right! And today I had a client who said "sorry just need to ensure you are not a drug user, so need to look for track marks" lol I seriously burst out laughing at the guy and once he was satisfied handed him his money back and wished him a good weekend.

No! Never :o

An American client ask if I was doing this of my own free will.
I said, ' If I was being forced, would I tell you?'
He said 'No I suppose not'
He shut up and got his cock out.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 02 May 2015, 07:24:41 am
Quote from: cheesypeas on 01 May 2015, 10:59:13 pm
Quote from: Fluffy Bunny on 01 May 2015, 10:39:05 pm
So i am a big burd, right! And today I had a client who said "sorry just need to ensure you are not a drug user, so need to look for track marks" lol I seriously burst out laughing at the guy and once he was satisfied handed him his money back and wished him a good weekend.

No! Never :o

An American client ask if I was doing this of my own free will.
I said, ' If I was being forced, would I tell you?'
He said 'No I suppose not'
He shut up and got his cock out.

Yep we are all damaged goods or have some kind of substance abuse problem or lack intelligence lol  Men!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 03 May 2015, 04:04:13 am
Quote from: Fluffy Bunny on 02 May 2015, 07:24:41 am
Quote from: cheesypeas on 01 May 2015, 10:59:13 pm
Quote from: Fluffy Bunny on 01 May 2015, 10:39:05 pm
So i am a big burd, right! And today I had a client who said "sorry just need to ensure you are not a drug user, so need to look for track marks" lol I seriously burst out laughing at the guy and once he was satisfied handed him his money back and wished him a good weekend.

No! Never :o

An American client ask if I was doing this of my own free will.
I said, ' If I was being forced, would I tell you?'
He said 'No I suppose not'
He shut up and got his cock out.

Yep we are all damaged goods or have some kind of substance abuse problem or lack intelligence lol  Men!

I've been asked a couple of times over the last few years if I'm being forced or pimped etc... Funnily enough the concerned gentleman only becomes the concerned gentleman AFTER he's bought, ordered and received his service 😁 Bloody hypocrites!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 03 May 2015, 12:52:19 pm
They are funny aren't they lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 03 May 2015, 01:43:58 pm
Yes Fluffs, I should have said.
'If only I had 10,000 pounds I could buy my freedom.....'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 03 May 2015, 03:10:29 pm
What's in the water at the moment? Just had two people today ask for bareback! One of them text yesterday and claimed to have a condom allergy, I just told him I have latex free condoms so it wouldn't be a problem, but today he's just come right out and asked for BB  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 03 May 2015, 05:44:07 pm
If you read back a bit I've had the exact same thing, probably the same guy. Told me condoms make him impotent when I said latex free.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lou2015 on 03 May 2015, 07:42:43 pm
Apparently I have no friends in the world and I should spend the night at a clients house so he can hold me and be there for me. Pmsl. For free of course !!

Also another when I started stating he doesn't have to wear condoms as he's diabetic and tested regularly. What a tw*t he was shocked when I walked.


 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lou2015 on 03 May 2015, 08:08:18 pm
Quote from: tigerLily on 15 April 2015, 02:10:56 am
I am a belgian guy who will visit London for business this week. If i go abroad i alwaysblike to combine with a bit of personal pleasure

Inam fond of a GFE with a lot of DFK, licking ly ears and body and a very sensual B2B massage. I like that more than just fuck or suck

If i read your profile i guess you can provide these services, right ?

Could we meet on one of these 3 evenings ? The later in the evening, the better

I see you also,privide outcall service. Woukd it eventually be possibke to cole to the Novotel hotel because that s where i will be staying the next days. Do you know this hotel and it will not give any troubke passing the reception for you ?

Please let me kniw your preference

Hope to hear frol you soon and maybe we will meet !

Kind regards
Paul (mybreal nale)


Typos are typos, but WTF?! Is this classic wank-and-type?




.....

I took this booking Lol.... he was a lovely bloke but didn't speak very good English as you can tell. easiest booking I'vehad as all he wanted was massage and hug. But yes initially I thought wtf.


X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 03 May 2015, 08:11:19 pm
LOL small world.... :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 03 May 2015, 08:26:44 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 03 May 2015, 05:44:07 pm
If you read back a bit I've had the exact same thing, probably the same guy. Told me condoms make him impotent when I said latex free.

Yeah had it.  The doctors have been trying to cure him for 3 years?  I told him I'd get latex free condoms for him, never heard back.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 03 May 2015, 08:52:55 pm
They must think we are complete morons.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 05 May 2015, 10:05:40 pm
Well I have one that belongs on the exact opposite thread....how not to get to get a client, world championships.

A nice gent texted me today to say he'd love to meet me and gave me all his details. He also said that he was feeling very nervous and hoped I could put him at ease.

I texted back to say "Don't worry I really want to put a smile on your face" which my stupid autocorrect changed to "Don't worry, I really want to put a snail on your face".

Needless to say I didn't hear back  ;D wonder why xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 05 May 2015, 10:09:23 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 05 May 2015, 10:05:40 pm
Well I have one that belongs on the exact opposite thread....how not to get to get a client, world championships.

A nice gent texted me today to say he'd love to meet me and gave me all his details. He also said that he was feeling very nervous and hoped I could put him at ease.

I texted back to say "Don't worry I really want to put a smile on your face" which my stupid autocorrect changed to "Don't worry, I really want to put a snail on your face".

Needless to say I didn't hear back  ;D wonder why xx

ooooooooohhhhh no! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: tigerlily on 06 May 2015, 01:54:13 am
Quote from: Lou2015 on 03 May 2015, 08:08:18 pm

.....

I took this booking Lol.... he was a lovely bloke but didn't speak very good English as you can tell. easiest booking I'vehad as all he wanted was massage and hug. But yes initially I thought wtf.


X

Well glad it turned out well for you! But I can't get over the typos. Especially considering that spotting a scammer 101 is 'are there excessive correctible typos'? So I'm okay I went with my gut and missed out.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 06 May 2015, 08:32:27 am
Quote from: Hadley on 05 May 2015, 10:05:40 pm
Well I have one that belongs on the exact opposite thread....how not to get to get a client, world championships.

A nice gent texted me today to say he'd love to meet me and gave me all his details. He also said that he was feeling very nervous and hoped I could put him at ease.

I texted back to say "Don't worry I really want to put a smile on your face" which my stupid autocorrect changed to "Don't worry, I really want to put a snail on your face".

Needless to say I didn't hear back  ;D wonder why xx
Well at least you've put a smile on my face this morning :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 06 May 2015, 09:09:01 am
Quote from: Hadley on 05 May 2015, 10:05:40 pm
Well I have one that belongs on the exact opposite thread....how not to get to get a client, world championships.

A nice gent texted me today to say he'd love to meet me and gave me all his details. He also said that he was feeling very nervous and hoped I could put him at ease.

I texted back to say "Don't worry I really want to put a smile on your face" which my stupid autocorrect changed to "Don't worry, I really want to put a snail on your face".

Needless to say I didn't hear back  ;D wonder why xx

Wouldn't it have been worse if he was into that and expecting it  ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 06 May 2015, 04:33:08 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 06 May 2015, 09:09:01 am
Quote from: Hadley on 05 May 2015, 10:05:40 pm
Well I have one that belongs on the exact opposite thread....how not to get to get a client, world championships.

A nice gent texted me today to say he'd love to meet me and gave me all his details. He also said that he was feeling very nervous and hoped I could put him at ease.

I texted back to say "Don't worry I really want to put a smile on your face" which my stupid autocorrect changed to "Don't worry, I really want to put a snail on your face".

Needless to say I didn't hear back  ;D wonder why xx

Wouldn't it have been worse if he was into that and expecting it  ;D ;D

Ha! Yes you can bet that amongst all the weird and wonderful fetishes out there there'll be someone that's into snail porn  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: daringtobedemi on 07 May 2015, 11:52:46 pm
Had one client not too long ago who seemed fine at first. He booked me, didn't whine about the price, seemed to be a perfect gentleman.. until he told me that he had 'nosy neighbors' and he didn't want them to know what he was seeing an escort, and he was worried about me 'stalking him'. He told me that I would have to meet him in a parking lot, get into his car, be blindfolded, and then we would drive to his place.

Yeah, no.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 08 May 2015, 12:58:09 am
The neighbours will never notice him leading in a blindfolded hooker!  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DustedWithSugar on 08 May 2015, 02:11:39 am
Quote from: Fabulassie on 08 May 2015, 12:58:09 am
The neighbours will never notice him leading in a blindfolded hooker!  :D
not if he'll pack her in back of his car and drive her into woods...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 09 May 2015, 07:41:10 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 08 May 2015, 12:58:09 am
The neighbours will never notice him leading in a blindfolded hooker!  :D

Maybe he was planning on going and blindfolding all the neighbours first and then leading in the blindfolded hooker...???

Yeah I need to stop watching Criminal Minds:(((
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 09 May 2015, 08:48:59 pm
Well aparently I am the worst prossie there is.  ;D

Because for some silly reason I don't disregard my safety.  :FF

Guy wanted a booking for Monday, didn't have a landline, wasn't on the electoral register and wouldn't pay a deposit.

Offered to pick me up, again wouldn't give any details.

Did the 'None of the other girls I've seen have asked for details, they just come to my address'.

Ps: I wouldn't have actually accepted the lift, just wanted to see if they would come up with excuse not to give details, which obviously they did.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 09 May 2015, 10:38:29 pm
I've just had something similar.

Guy calls for an outcall for in half an hours time (!)  He says he lives near a certain landmark and will pick me up there 'and take you back to mine'.  I say no sorry, for safety reasons it doesn't work like that, you would give me your name and address and I'd come to you.  Then he says 'But I live in a golf club so I don't want to give the building address'.  By now my spidey senses are tingling, but I said, I'm happy to delete your details from my phone in front of you at the end of the booking, but I do need them to know where I'm going.

Then he says he'll text them.  What he actually texts is 'Sorry but I'll have to cancel.  Sorry for wasting time'  Prick!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 10 May 2015, 07:54:14 am
Quote from: Curvygal on 09 May 2015, 10:38:29 pm
I've just had something similar.

Guy calls for an outcall for in half an hours time (!)  He says he lives near a certain landmark and will pick me up there 'and take you back to mine'.  I say no sorry, for safety reasons it doesn't work like that, you would give me your name and address and I'd come to you.  Then he says 'But I live in a golf club so I don't want to give the building address'.  By now my spidey senses are tingling, but I said, I'm happy to delete your details from my phone in front of you at the end of the booking, but I do need them to know where I'm going.

Then he says he'll text them.  What he actually texts is 'Sorry but I'll have to cancel.  Sorry for wasting time'  Prick!  :FF
the crazy thing is if he wanted to take you back to his your still going to find out  the address and door number in the end anyway !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 10 May 2015, 09:34:23 am
texter . could *we* reduce the price of your rate if I take pics for your private gallery?
no please look elsewhere as we are not having a booking .. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 10 May 2015, 12:34:28 pm
AW message, "Can I have you today."

The only messages I get on AW lately are from guys who have had profiles for years and 0 feedback.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 11 May 2015, 02:09:52 pm
Got an email from a guy yesterday, conversation went back and forward (nothing to get my TW radar going).  This morning he got back to me and said we could go to such and such a hotel.  I said yes.

Then he responds that we could meet at a well known park (happens to be a rape and mugging hot spot actually) and go there together.  I respond no, I'd meet him at the hotel.  He replies sorry, I want to meet you before paying for the hotel.

So I've to go to a public park in the dark and hang around waiting for someone who may or may not turn up, then may or may not stop, then may or may not want to take me to a hotel.   I don't fucking think so!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 11 May 2015, 02:41:56 pm
Hello simple do u do proper otk spanking on trousers pants and bare like the ones you use to get from mums auntsy etc

that was the content of an email I received today !  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 11 May 2015, 04:04:47 pm
Quote from: Exotic flower on 11 May 2015, 02:41:56 pm
Hello simple do u do proper otk spanking on trousers pants and bare like the ones you use to get from mums auntsy etc

that was the content of an email I received today !  :-\

It's always freaked me out how some peoples parents would smack a child's bum. Of course smacking a child anyway I disagree with, but why a sexual body part, why not an arm
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 11 May 2015, 04:10:33 pm
 caller-Hi a friend gave me your number do you have sex for money ?
I replied , have you seen an advert with my details on
 caller- He says oh I will find you in an advert your in Middlesex right?
I said you don't even know what I look like or where I am there are over 76 profiles in the area .
oops I just dropped the phone it cut off the call !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 11 May 2015, 05:54:05 pm
My site on adultwork is
livesexfun4u
Check us out, been on adultwork for approx 5 yrs now
I do sexshows with my partner
Can we use our site to set up a gangbang for you in a hotel.
2 shows with 5 guys, 1 at 3pm & 1 at 6pm
We get deposits off guys using our site on adultwork
You get ?600 for the two shows
Interested? For more details mail us


 :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 12 May 2015, 01:21:41 am
Via text 'You have massive jugs x'
Me thinks there is a bigger tit somewhere....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 12 May 2015, 09:21:47 am
Can you give me a discount because I'm traveling a long way?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 12 May 2015, 11:25:29 am
Text received at 03.19 this morning : 'Hey babe r u free coco'
Obviously I was sleeping and my phone was off!
Follow up received at 03.23: 'If u r I want to fuck u all night xo make u squirt'

What's the betting that if I had still been up and taken the booking he'd have passed out with the drink before I got there?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 12 May 2015, 08:32:48 pm
4 hours for ?270... 2 hours travel from me... hard to say no!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 12 May 2015, 09:22:01 pm
Quote from: Mirror on 12 May 2015, 09:21:47 am
Can you give me a discount because I'm traveling a long way?
did he have a railcard? maybe he's used to their discounts !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 12 May 2015, 09:26:15 pm
Quote from: bibi on 12 May 2015, 01:21:41 am
Via text 'You have massive jugs x'

I got that one last night :D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 12 May 2015, 11:53:38 pm
Quote from: amy on 12 May 2015, 09:26:15 pm
Quote from: bibi on 12 May 2015, 01:21:41 am
Via text 'You have massive jugs x'
Aww I don't feel spesh anymore... :P

I got that one last night :D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 12 May 2015, 11:54:57 pm
Can I have a discount cos I'm 17....No no and thrice no!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RosiePosie on 13 May 2015, 09:40:23 am
The hardest part of this job for me isn't the actual service provision (though I don't particularly enjoy that), it's dealing with all the enquiries. If someone else could take over the phone and email, my life would be so much more serene. I don't know how many f*cking idiots a woman is supposed to be able to put up with and still manage to hang on to her sanity. Just when I think men can't get any stupider (is that a word?) or more inconsiderate, along comes another one that makes me roll my eyes to the heavens in disbelief.  ::) 

Some of my pet hates/peaves are when they ask for all my details despite them being emblazoned across my AW profile and my website. They never READ. Some days I don't have the patience to go through it all again, so I tell them to go read my profile and then phone me back, which they rarely do. Which is fine, because if a man can't be bothered to read my details to learn what I do and don't do, etc, then he is potentially unsafe, or at the very least, just a callous pain in the arse.

Another thing that annoys the hell out of me is men's perception of our financial status. 1) They presume we're all rich. They seem to think that because we're escorts, we are capable of and quite happy seeing an unlimited number of customers. 2) They presume it's acceptable to ask for discounts, since we're rich. When they do that, I ask them would have the cheek to ask their barber, decorator or other service provider for a discount. 3) They have no problem asking me how many customers I see per week (ie, "How much money do you make?") and how much rent I pay. Seriously! You wouldn't ask your driving instructor or waiter or doctor how much money they make and what they pay for rent, so why do they presume it's ok to ask us??

Oi veh. I need a cuppa now :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roseanna_ on 13 May 2015, 08:39:07 pm
Got a text today

2nite

what's that supposed to mean?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DustedWithSugar on 13 May 2015, 08:42:44 pm
Quote from: Roseanna_ on 13 May 2015, 08:39:07 pm
Got a text today

2nite

what's that supposed to mean?
translation: "Dearest m'lady, I'm bewitched by your charms and beauty, would you do me an honor of accompanying me for an encounter today at dusk?"
I'm 100% sure that's what he meant.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Madyson on 13 May 2015, 08:53:10 pm
Quote from: Carol on 13 May 2015, 08:42:44 pm
Quote from: Roseanna_ on 13 May 2015, 08:39:07 pm
Got a text today

2nite

what's that supposed to mean?
translation: "Dearest m'lady, I'm bewitched by your charms and beauty, would you do me an honor of accompanying me for an encounter today at dusk?"
I'm 100% sure that's what he meant.

I suppose it a tiny bit better than just

?

Yes a question mark, nothing else, no hi or hello, or are you working, or are you free, just an question mark, it makes me shake my head in complete and utter disbelief at time how dumb some message are derrrr
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 13 May 2015, 08:57:47 pm
Quote from: bibi on 12 May 2015, 11:53:38 pm
Quote from: amy on 12 May 2015, 09:26:15 pm
Quote from: bibi on 12 May 2015, 01:21:41 am
Via text 'You have massive jugs x'
Aww I don't feel spesh anymore... :P

I got that one last night :D.

Oh no....is he sending them to everyone :'(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 13 May 2015, 09:33:13 pm
I just got the funniest email...

Hi there! I offer free, entirely NON-SEXUAL massages to the reward seeking girls. If you want to swing by mine when you're through seeing your appointments and just relax, just let me know! Just my show of appreciation. Clean, safe, easy location and very very relaxing. Just a nice guy wanting to please you, after you please others. One of these days one of you will take me up on it, and I know you'll be glad you did! Cute, strong, and 100% honest and genuine. Let me know!

The fact he says 'One day one of you will take me up on it' made me laugh!  An excuse to see a hot girl naked I think......
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 13 May 2015, 09:46:01 pm
Email received via Adultwork

"Can I shit in your fanny? "
...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 13 May 2015, 10:13:59 pm
Email subject: "I want to be sucked". Body of the email: "suck me". *deletes*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Madyson on 13 May 2015, 10:31:07 pm
Lol you've got to love a trier ....... not  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 13 May 2015, 10:36:32 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 13 May 2015, 09:33:13 pm
I just got the funniest email....Amy I haven't put this in the 'How not to book...' thread because he's not trying to book me, but check it:

No, but since most of us have had this one or a version of it at least a couple of times (and most of the people in here are never going to pay for a real booking either) and they've all fit nicely in here, this one can as well. It's no different to that charmless twat who wants a girlfriend :).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 13 May 2015, 10:37:49 pm
OK sorry, I never saw it before I didn't know it was a common thing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 14 May 2015, 11:17:52 am
Think I just dodged a bullet. Guy booked me for 11am, had a feeling he'd be a no show. He text me at 5 past to say he always pays half first and half after, was that ok?! Then he called and I just told him his booking was cancelled. Dread to think what might have happened if he'd actually turned up on time and expected to pay like that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 14 May 2015, 11:58:52 am
Quote from: Curvygal on 13 May 2015, 10:37:49 pm
OK sorry, I never saw it before I didn't know it was a common thing.

They ring quite often and offer me free massages...usually Indians.
But it is funny where he admits no one has taken up his offer...so hopefull!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 14 May 2015, 02:24:15 pm
I know, that's the bit that made me laugh!

Finding out everyone gets that has taken the humour out of it for me a bit though...I thought I was special!   ??? (Lol not really!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 17 May 2015, 01:54:23 pm
just called now, him- Hi id like to come from central London to see you, its a shame you are on a escort website not a dating sight id love to see you I want a 15 min booking, can I get the address of where you live, im coming by British rail ..
Me , Its a long way to come for just 15 mins isn't it?
 him. oh but it will be worth it what's your address ?
me call me tomorrow when im free thanks ( gives me chance to put him on call blocker as a time waster ) ::)


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Secret-Whore on 17 May 2015, 06:24:57 pm
It's been a bit of a slow week so I bid on an AW rb. 2 hours 160 (well below my rate) and about 50 minutes away.
The "gentleman" in question responded, but immediately got my back up and made me uncomfortable with his 'How soon can you be here? Can't you do any sooner? You don't need make up, babe' pushiness, his terrible grammar and superfluous use of punctuation. But, I was desperate, so I was going to do it anyway... Until he told me that he would not pick me up and drop me off at the station in his town because he wanted 'to chill'. His home was 30 minutes from the station by bus (plus loads of waiting because it's a small town)! Then he texted and asked what I'd do to make up for him driving me since he was spending all that money (cheap git) and still had to drive  ::) He went over the deal on the phone "160 for 2 hours and you expect to be picked up and dropped off, do you?" as if I'm entitled and being stupid. Cunt.  :FF

I texted him back and told him that the meet wasn't economically viable for me and that I didn't realise that he wouldn't pick me up only to be called a 'TIME WASTER!!!!!!' multiple times and get about 10 phone calls. He texted me to let me know that he 'Just had someone book and price is to his door!!' Poor girl because he sounds like a boundary-pushing, demanding loser.

I had someone book me 10 minutes later. It's a 20 minute journey for me to where it is (outskirts of London) with good travel. He lives a 10 minute walk from the station and still insisted that he pick me up and drop me off even though I said he didn't have to. And he's paying my regular fee (170 for 1.5 hours rather than 160 for two)  ;D I swear, the decent guys make me not want to put my head in the oven
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 18 May 2015, 10:54:19 am
Quote from: Secret-Whore on 17 May 2015, 06:24:57 pm

He texted me to let me know that he 'Just had someone book and price is to his door!!' Poor girl because he sounds like a boundary-pushing, demanding loser.

He probably didn't and just said that to save face. What an idiot!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 18 May 2015, 11:41:00 am
Quote from: Secret-Whore on 17 May 2015, 06:24:57 pm
It's been a bit of a slow week so I bid on an AW rb. 2 hours 160 (well below my rate) and about 50 minutes away.
The "gentleman" in question responded, but immediately got my back up and made me uncomfortable with his 'How soon can you be here? Can't you do any sooner? You don't need make up, babe' pushiness, his terrible grammar and superfluous use of punctuation. But, I was desperate, so I was going to do it anyway... Until he told me that he would not pick me up and drop me off at the station in his town because he wanted 'to chill'. His home was 30 minutes from the station by bus (plus loads of waiting because it's a small town)! Then he texted and asked what I'd do to make up for him driving me since he was spending all that money (cheap git) and still had to drive  ::) He went over the deal on the phone "160 for 2 hours and you expect to be picked up and dropped off, do you?" as if I'm entitled and being stupid. Cunt.  :FF

I texted him back and told him that the meet wasn't economically viable for me and that I didn't realise that he wouldn't pick me up only to be called a 'TIME WASTER!!!!!!' multiple times and get about 10 phone calls. He texted me to let me know that he 'Just had someone book and price is to his door!!' Poor girl because he sounds like a boundary-pushing, demanding loser.

I had someone book me 10 minutes later. It's a 20 minute journey for me to where it is (outskirts of London) with good travel. He lives a 10 minute walk from the station and still insisted that he pick me up and drop me off even though I said he didn't have to. And he's paying my regular fee (170 for 1.5 hours rather than 160 for two)  ;D I swear, the decent guys make me not want to put my head in the oven

I had one say natural no make up sounded awful on the phone very demanding middle eastern accent
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 18 May 2015, 06:13:02 pm
'How much to fart on my face?  Just a weird fetish' - yeah, because I can do that on demand!
'How much for a fuck' 'The rates are on my profile, xx for half an hour and xx for an hour'
#OK so, how much for 20 minutes?'

Yip, true story.  All from the one guy this morning.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 18 May 2015, 06:59:24 pm
I'll tell you what does NOT impress me is constantly pestering me to find out how much parking costs where I am. If the cost of parking is a problem, perhaps you shouldn't be seeing whores!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: International Whore on 18 May 2015, 08:43:42 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 18 May 2015, 06:59:24 pm
I'll tell you what does NOT impress me is constantly pestering me to find out how much parking costs where I am. If the cost of parking is a problem, perhaps you shouldn't be seeing whores!

Some fucker actually asked if he could deduct the congestion charge from my fee as I work in Covent Garden  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 18 May 2015, 11:26:15 pm
Quote from: Claire Jayne on 18 May 2015, 08:43:42 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 18 May 2015, 06:59:24 pm
I'll tell you what does NOT impress me is constantly pestering me to find out how much parking costs where I am. If the cost of parking is a problem, perhaps you shouldn't be seeing whores!

Some fucker actually asked if he could deduct the congestion charge from my fee as I work in Covent Garden  :FF

Unvelievable! :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 19 May 2015, 12:54:18 am
Quote from: Fabulassie on 18 May 2015, 06:59:24 pm
I'll tell you what does NOT impress me is constantly pestering me to find out how much parking costs where I am. If the cost of parking is a problem, perhaps you shouldn't be seeing whores!
Oh god yes I get this.I make it very clear I am in the city centre and I always get people asking if its free parking and how much is it to park.For a start I don't drive but if I did I would have a rough idea how much car parks cost in the local area.I always answer about ?2 and then you get some crap about not having change and where to get some from...ffs what do they normally do when they go shopping in town and need to park.Seriously faffing about over having to pay and display when they are willing to spend ?100 on shagging!Bizarre!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 19 May 2015, 01:03:01 am
I banned a guy today.I have seen him a couple of times but he was hard work (silly texts not following directions etc)so he was already on a last chance sort of thing.
Today he asked for a 30 min with 45 mins notice.I agreed then he asked for a 2 girl again I agreed,he asked who it was with and how much..before I had chance to reply he asked if it was for ?50?!?I asked him if he thought it was buy one get one free and told him the duo rate.Surprise surprise he decided to see me solo (he has done this before..cheap twat plus my duo rates are on my profile).Then he asked what if we did 15 min duo and he would be able to make us both squirt...told him he was messing about and to leave it.Anyway he apologised for being cheeky and I agreed to still see him at 5pm,he then asked where a cashpoint is I told him 3 places all within 5 mins of my flat.At 5:10 I asked where he was for him to tell me he was going to be 30 mins late as the cashpoint at 1 of the places was out of order...told to do one.Never mind how not to book an escort..more like how to annoy one so much you never get a booking again!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Secret-Whore on 19 May 2015, 10:02:31 am
Quote from: Claire Jayne on 18 May 2015, 08:43:42 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 18 May 2015, 06:59:24 pm
I'll tell you what does NOT impress me is constantly pestering me to find out how much parking costs where I am. If the cost of parking is a problem, perhaps you shouldn't be seeing whores!

Some fucker actually asked if he could deduct the congestion charge from my fee as I work in Covent Garden  :FF

Stupid idiot. Why can't he get the tube if the few quid means so much to him?
I had a guy that used to be a regular ask me if he could pay me less money since he spent over ?100 on a hotel. He used to make me feel so cheap and disgusting by always booking the grossest hotels in the world. He invited me to one and there was damp on the wall  :-[ but I bet it only cost him ?50
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 19 May 2015, 11:30:46 am
The third guy in a week that wants me to travel a ridiculously long distance to attend a social event with him, but refuses to pay travel. I charge a THIRD of my rates for social, meaning that I would actually be losing money by going to this event as the travel is more expensive than the fee would be. ::) People are idiots.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 19 May 2015, 02:25:13 pm
If people want me to go long distance VR I ask them to cover travel costs.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 19 May 2015, 05:37:47 pm
*gag*  :-X

Subject: id love to tie you to the bed,andur lick yofanny until you scream for me to fuck

where are you from?
fancy meeting for a good fuck? id definitely like to shoot my load inside you.
my email is *****@gmail.com
mobile ********
jez xxx

He is offering bareback bookings as a male escort. Actually made me feel ill. Still, no cock pics on his profile, so there is a god after all.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jasmine89 on 19 May 2015, 10:10:32 pm
Received this message today:

I would like to book you for an hours meeting. Your price is way too high for what I want. I want to explore the following normal services and these include owo cim anal nothing strange just these services. I will book for an hour but what is important to me is chatting. Services will not take up the whole hour maybe only 30 minutes so I will only pay you for services as the rest of the time will be easy for you. If your services are good I am willing to pay you ?30 for the hour. I want to make this a regular thing. Let me know what you think

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 19 May 2015, 10:24:03 pm
Quote from: jasmine89 on 19 May 2015, 10:10:32 pm
Received this message today:

I would like to book you for an hours meeting. Your price is way too high for what I want. I want to explore the following normal services and these include owo cim anal nothing strange just these services. I will book for an hour but what is important to me is chatting. Services will not take up the whole hour maybe only 30 minutes so I will only pay you for services as the rest of the time will be easy for you. If your services are good I am willing to pay you ?30 for the hour. I want to make this a regular thing. Let me know what you think

 :FF

Knows what he wants within his budget. Seems very 'special'. I'm surprised you didn't snap him up! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jasmine89 on 19 May 2015, 10:58:26 pm
The idiots are out in force today. Another one:

Hi. I'm new on this profile but know the ropes lol.
Would you like to exchange escort feedback on here? It's easy to do and no one can tell it's fake. I just put in a booking for yesterday and you confirm it and then write nice feedback.
If guys see you booked a recent escort meet it makes them want to see you more
Mark
Xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 20 May 2015, 01:24:29 am
Quote from: jasmine89 on 19 May 2015, 10:10:32 pm
Received this message today:

I would like to book you for an hours meeting. Your price is way too high for what I want. I want to explore the following normal services and these include owo cim anal nothing strange just these services. I will book for an hour but what is important to me is chatting. Services will not take up the whole hour maybe only 30 minutes so I will only pay you for services as the rest of the time will be easy for you. If your services are good I am willing to pay you ?30 for the hour. I want to make this a regular thing. Let me know what you think

 :FF

Wow, he's a keeper!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Secret-Whore on 20 May 2015, 10:03:53 am
Quote from: jasmine89 on 19 May 2015, 10:58:26 pm
The idiots are out in force today. Another one:

Hi. I'm new on this profile but know the ropes lol.
Would you like to exchange escort feedback on here? It's easy to do and no one can tell it's fake. I just put in a booking for yesterday and you confirm it and then write nice feedback.
If guys see you booked a recent escort meet it makes them want to see you more
Mark
Xxx

Yeah, so he can fool some poor girl into thinking he's trustworthy ('look at ma feedback bbz') and then do god knows what to her. Gives me the creeps.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sienna92 on 21 May 2015, 11:18:50 am
I had a really really long email today. He really rambled on throughout it so I'll just point out bits:

Him: hi darling, I'm looking for normal services like oral, and anal sex. Not like a 'fuck and go'. I find it important to chat and get to know each other. I pay for services rather than time. So I will pay ?30 per appointment, so for example if it's an hour booking we will be doing something for 30 mins and the other 30 mins just chatting....sometimes I will just book a shorter booking but will still pay the same, ?30 (lucky me!!).
It's ?30 for the first meet because I just want to chat and get to know you. I like to only see 1 girl so will only book you for now on. My logic is the better you treat me the better I treat you.
I'm not expecting wonders on the first appointment, just the basic things Gfe,oral And anal.
After that if you like me I will pay you  fixed price of ?450 per appointment  ::) (Didn't you just say about booking again for a shorter booking and it still being ?30??)
The appointment will last 3 hours or even if it's just 2 hours I will still pay ?450 as its a fixed price per meet... What are your thoughts? Xxx

Well....  ???

Does he really expect girls to believe he will come back and pay ?450. How ridiculous is that. I told him why don't you just save the ?450 and pay my FIXED RATES.. Ohh that's right because you have no intentions of coming back and your trying to get bookings for 30 quid. Good luck with that!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 21 May 2015, 11:37:08 am
Didn't someone post something like this that was sent to them the other day?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 21 May 2015, 11:40:58 am
Quote from: jasmine89 on 19 May 2015, 10:10:32 pm
Received this message today:

I would like to book you for an hours meeting. Your price is way too high for what I want. I want to explore the following normal services and these include owo cim anal nothing strange just these services. I will book for an hour but what is important to me is chatting. Services will not take up the whole hour maybe only 30 minutes so I will only pay you for services as the rest of the time will be easy for you. If your services are good I am willing to pay you ?30 for the hour. I want to make this a regular thing. Let me know what you think

 :FF

It looks like the same guy as sienna's one :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 21 May 2015, 11:47:45 am
So tempting to reply to 'Let me know what you think' with 'I think you sir are a cockwomble!' but guys like that usually want that kind of response.
I had a classic text last night 'Do you want a hard fuck love? x'....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 21 May 2015, 11:55:35 am
Text at 00.16 today

Hello Helen I am looking for help to get a young girl I know into the game but need female help. can pay well


I have no words... :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Treetop on 21 May 2015, 12:05:22 pm
Quote from: hotblondie Bristol on 21 May 2015, 11:40:58 am
Quote from: jasmine89 on 19 May 2015, 10:10:32 pm
Received this message today:

I would like to book you for an hours meeting. Your price is way too high for what I want. I want to explore the following normal services and these include owo cim anal nothing strange just these services. I will book for an hour but what is important to me is chatting. Services will not take up the whole hour maybe only 30 minutes so I will only pay you for services as the rest of the time will be easy for you. If your services are good I am willing to pay you ?30 for the hour. I want to make this a regular thing. Let me know what you think

 :FF

It looks like the same guy as sienna's one :)

Lol I had this exact message on aw few days ago. Didn't even bother to respond, I seem to be getting alot of copy and paste idiots lately.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 21 May 2015, 01:20:45 pm
Had this email -

''U gd at ticklin'

 ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 21 May 2015, 01:43:57 pm
Quote from: sienna92 on 21 May 2015, 11:18:50 am
I had a really really long email today. He really rambled on throughout it so I'll just point out bits:

Him: hi darling, I'm looking for normal services like oral, and anal sex. Not like a 'fuck and go'. I find it important to chat and get to know each other. I pay for services rather than time. So I will pay ?30 per appointment, so for example if it's an hour booking we will be doing something for 30 mins and the other 30 mins just chatting....sometimes I will just book a shorter booking but will still pay the same, ?30 (lucky me!!).
It's ?30 for the first meet because I just want to chat and get to know you. I like to only see 1 girl so will only book you for now on. My logic is the better you treat me the better I treat you.
I'm not expecting wonders on the first appointment, just the basic things Gfe,oral And anal.
After that if you like me I will pay you  fixed price of ?450 per appointment  ::) (Didn't you just say about booking again for a shorter booking and it still being ?30??)
The appointment will last 3 hours or even if it's just 2 hours I will still pay ?450 as its a fixed price per meet... What are your thoughts? Xxx

Well....  ???

Does he really expect girls to believe he will come back and pay ?450. How ridiculous is that. I told him why don't you just save the ?450 and pay my FIXED RATES.. Ohh that's right because you have no intentions of coming back and your trying to get bookings for 30 quid. Good luck with that!!!

Yep, he's doing the rounds!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 21 May 2015, 01:44:45 pm
Quote from: Clarabella on 21 May 2015, 01:20:45 pm
Had this email -

''U gd at ticklin'

 ???

He has a tickling fetish.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 21 May 2015, 03:08:44 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 21 May 2015, 01:44:45 pm
Quote from: Clarabella on 21 May 2015, 01:20:45 pm
Had this email -

''U gd at ticklin'

 ???

He has a tickling fetish.

I could never do a tickling booking. I have had a couple of clients do it a little trying to be cute but I absolutely HATE being tickled.

Anyway, lovely booking request this morning:

"Hi im wanting a lady who has a partner or bf that spunks inside u so i can lick u out clean pay ?4oo if u can help"

It hurt me just having to retype that text speak!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sienna92 on 21 May 2015, 03:22:06 pm
Quote from: thehappyhooker on 21 May 2015, 12:05:22 pm
Quote from: hotblondie Bristol on 21 May 2015, 11:40:58 am
Quote from: jasmine89 on 19 May 2015, 10:10:32 pm
Received this message today:

I would like to book you for an hours meeting. Your price is way too high for what I want. I want to explore the following normal services and these include owo cim anal nothing strange just these services. I will book for an hour but what is important to me is chatting. Services will not take up the whole hour maybe only 30 minutes so I will only pay you for services as the rest of the time will be easy for you. If your services are good I am willing to pay you ?30 for the hour. I want to make this a regular thing. Let me know what you think

 :FF

It looks like the same guy as sienna's one :)

Lol I had this exact message on aw few days ago. Didn't even bother to respond, I seem to be getting alot of copy and paste idiots lately.

That does sound like a similar message to mine.. If it's the same guy he's obviously doing the rounds and trying his luck. My email was really long rambling on about how 'his rates' are fixed. Sorry mate but so are mine! >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 23 May 2015, 06:36:13 pm
Quote from: jasmine89 on 19 May 2015, 10:58:26 pm
The idiots are out in force today. Another one:

Hi. I'm new on this profile but know the ropes lol.
Would you like to exchange escort feedback on here? It's easy to do and no one can tell it's fake. I just put in a booking for yesterday and you confirm it and then write nice feedback.
If guys see you booked a recent escort meet it makes them want to see you more
Mark
Xxx
I had an idiot even send a message on adultwork saying we could do fake feedback for each other I just blocked him!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 23 May 2015, 08:16:17 pm
Quote from: Exotic flower on 23 May 2015, 06:36:13 pm
Quote from: jasmine89 on 19 May 2015, 10:58:26 pm
The idiots are out in force today. Another one:

Hi. I'm new on this profile but know the ropes lol.
Would you like to exchange escort feedback on here? It's easy to do and no one can tell it's fake. I just put in a booking for yesterday and you confirm it and then write nice feedback.
If guys see you booked a recent escort meet it makes them want to see you more
Mark
Xxx
I had an idiot even send a message on adultwork saying we could do fake feedback for each other I just blocked him!

Yeah I get this constantly.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 24 May 2015, 02:39:14 pm
Hi so this is what I desire and it's totally genuine...I want you to hit my Cock hard with a hammer!
I will leave the hammer on my floor. The door will be open I will wait in a chair naked.
You enter my flat and then proceed to hit my cock hard with a hammer??? Very hard?!!
What are your thoughts x


As I am absolutely in the mood at the moment to hit someone hard in the cock with a hammer I might just take him up on it  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 24 May 2015, 02:53:53 pm
I said to someone the other day that I never really get the type of callers that just want to talk about services non-stop.

I clearly jinxed myself! 3 so far today... last one claimed to want a couple booking and then proceeded to try to get me to talk about what I would do to her.

Asked about rimming, me: 'no, I don't offer it' then he asked if I would do it if he paid more, to which I said more forcefully 'no. I don't offer it'. Money is no object when you're never actually going to pay for anything and 'no' doesn't go down so well when you're trying to have a wank!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Secret-Whore on 24 May 2015, 03:10:20 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 24 May 2015, 02:39:14 pm
Hi so this is what I desire and it's totally genuine...I want you to hit my Cock hard with a hammer!
I will leave the hammer on my floor. The door will be open I will wait in a chair naked.
You enter my flat and then proceed to hit my cock hard with a hammer??? Very hard?!!
What are your thoughts x


As I am absolutely in the mood at the moment to hit someone hard in the cock with a hammer I might just take him up on it  ;D

Might be genuine. I got paid ?100 to kick a guy in the balls for 45 minutes (with breaks). He wanted me to wear my biggest shoes and really go for it. I fucked up my ankle being too aggressive, but it was great stress relief!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sourgrapes on 24 May 2015, 03:12:49 pm
Quote from: Secret-Whore on 24 May 2015, 03:10:20 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 24 May 2015, 02:39:14 pm
Hi so this is what I desire and it's totally genuine...I want you to hit my Cock hard with a hammer!
I will leave the hammer on my floor. The door will be open I will wait in a chair naked.
You enter my flat and then proceed to hit my cock hard with a hammer??? Very hard?!!
What are your thoughts x


As I am absolutely in the mood at the moment to hit someone hard in the cock with a hammer I might just take him up on it  ;D

Might be genuine. I got paid ?100 to kick a guy in the balls for 45 minutes (with breaks). He wanted me to wear my biggest shoes and really go for it. I fucked up my ankle being too aggressive, but it was great stress relief!

Yep, I woke up to this one this morning, too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 25 May 2015, 06:38:54 pm
Got this text yesterday,
Hi, do you take any appointments tomorrow around 11am? I have a feet licking fetish and can I smoke weed with you? I'll provide all the weed and we can chill. I'll pay probs ?50 but it will go over 15 minutes defiantly, sorry I'm knocking down your rates you are worth every penny you charge but this will be a chill out for you as well, we can get in the zone and jam.

 ???what is jam?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 25 May 2015, 06:54:32 pm
he may bring a set of musical instruments to rip some beats to.. :)
or just chat babbling shit while toking ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 25 May 2015, 07:01:23 pm
Quote from: cheesypeas on 25 May 2015, 06:54:32 pm
he may bring a set of musical instruments to rip some beats to.. :)
or just chat babbling shit while toking ;)
i can play a tune or 2 on the recorder x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 25 May 2015, 07:03:57 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 25 May 2015, 07:01:23 pm
Quote from: cheesypeas on 25 May 2015, 06:54:32 pm
he may bring a set of musical instruments to rip some beats to.. :)
or just chat babbling shit while toking ;)
i can play a tune or 2 on the recorder x
I suppose that offer may appeal to puffers? Not for me though x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 25 May 2015, 07:19:32 pm
Ask if he has any bongos lol ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 25 May 2015, 07:27:15 pm
Quote from: cheesypeas on 25 May 2015, 07:19:32 pm
Ask if he has any bongos lol ;D

Bongo's would totally make it worth it if you ask me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 25 May 2015, 07:41:59 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 25 May 2015, 06:38:54 pm
Got this text yesterday,
Hi, do you take any appointments tomorrow around 11am? I have a feet licking fetish and can I smoke weed with you? I'll provide all the weed and we can chill. I'll pay probs ?50 but it will go over 15 minutes defiantly, sorry I'm knocking down your rates you are worth every penny you charge but this will be a chill out for you as well, we can get in the zone and jam.

 ???what is jam?

Really can't stand the ones that think because you might get some enjoyment out of it, that justifies a knocking of the price. It really makes me think they think we hate our jobs the rest of the time.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hotblondie on 25 May 2015, 07:57:03 pm
Really cant stand for the weeds smell or any other drugs in my home.
Any guy who asks if he can use them goes straight to my block list.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 25 May 2015, 08:13:01 pm
Quote from: victoryrose on 25 May 2015, 07:41:59 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 25 May 2015, 06:38:54 pm
Got this text yesterday,
Hi, do you take any appointments tomorrow around 11am? I have a feet licking fetish and can I smoke weed with you? I'll provide all the weed and we can chill. I'll pay probs ?50 but it will go over 15 minutes defiantly, sorry I'm knocking down your rates you are worth every penny you charge but this will be a chill out for you as well, we can get in the zone and jam.

 ???what is jam?

Really can't stand the ones that think because you might get some enjoyment out of it, that justifies a knocking of the price. It really makes me think they think we hate our jobs the rest of the time.  ::)
Yes like they are giving us a break from our terrible lives! If a client contacted me saying I could watch eastenders with my onesie on whilst drinking a glass of wine for money then I'd do it for ?50 x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 25 May 2015, 08:14:55 pm
Quote from: hotblondie Bristol on 25 May 2015, 07:57:03 pm
Really cant stand for the weeds smell or any other drugs in my home.
Any guy who asks if he can use them goes straight to my block list.
Same, I had a guy saved in my phone who'd text me a few months ago selling coke, he text last week claiming he's set up an agency and would I like to work for him, x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 25 May 2015, 10:19:25 pm
Email received:  Can you come to my house tomorrow?
Me:  Sure, what time did you have in mind?
Guy:  Possibly 11 but I'm not sure because I might go to a sauna instead and get an hour and a half for 120.  You match that?

 :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BunnyGirlx on 26 May 2015, 06:18:58 pm


Today I had a client call but I was busy and couldn't answer as I was standing in the tanning bed shop so I text saying I was busy and could he text me details of the booking he'd like and I'd get back to him within 20 mins. The reply was PRICELESS! If I'm honest it made me laugh a little too  :o

        " Babe I'm not your usual punter am sending fuck all
         if you want a real bad boy then phone if not go get some old fat cunt lol "

I can see this bad boy didn't learn any punctuation in school lol  ;D Some clients think they are doing us a favour by booking us! I've had a few rubbish clients contact me that way the past few months, nothing on my profiles has changed but I must be attracting them these days  :FF x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 26 May 2015, 06:55:26 pm
Quote from: BunnyGirlx on 26 May 2015, 06:18:58 pm


Today I had a client call but I was busy and couldn't answer as I was standing in the tanning bed shop so I text saying I was busy and could he text me details of the booking he'd like and I'd get back to him within 20 mins. The reply was PRICELESS! If I'm honest it made me laugh a little too  :o

        " Babe I'm not your usual punter am sending fuck all
         if you want a real bad boy then phone if not go get some old fat cunt lol "

I can see this bad boy didn't learn any punctuation in school lol  ;D Some clients think they are doing us a favour by booking us! I've had a few rubbish clients contact me that way the past few months, nothing on my profiles has changed but I must be attracting them these days  :FF x

Ahhhhh...look at what you are missing, a: "real bad boy" !! I'm sure you're very thankful his true colours shone through within the first 2 texts!

Give me the "old fat cunts" over the "real bad boys" any day!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 26 May 2015, 07:01:52 pm
Quote from: BunnyGirlx on 26 May 2015, 06:18:58 pm


Today I had a client call but I was busy and couldn't answer as I was standing in the tanning bed shop so I text saying I was busy and could he text me details of the booking he'd like and I'd get back to him within 20 mins. The reply was PRICELESS! If I'm honest it made me laugh a little too  :o

        " Babe I'm not your usual punter am sending fuck all
         if you want a real bad boy then phone if not go get some old fat cunt lol "

I can see this bad boy didn't learn any punctuation in school lol  ;D Some clients think they are doing us a favour by booking us! I've had a few rubbish clients contact me that way the past few months, nothing on my profiles has changed but I must be attracting them these days  :FF x

I get phases of crap like this. I'm sure most of us do!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BunnyGirlx on 26 May 2015, 07:05:47 pm
Lol he's probably under the impression he's something off of an itv reality show. Or Glasgows best drug dealer. It's always the drug dealers in there loud cars and jog suits that think they are a " real bad boy "

I Wanted to say  I'm afraid a criminal record doesn't do it for me hun  :FF

Yes, I now love the " old fat cunts "  :P at least they know how to treat and speak to a lady!!
When I say lady, the glam escort that opens the door, not the slob sitting in her pj's I between bookings lol

I have at least a good month of this type of client. It's driving me up the wall! Where did all the nice ones go?? x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 27 May 2015, 09:56:45 pm
Tonight I received a text asking if I could call them because they had no credit. My auto reply went out saying I don't respond to texts or do call backs. They rang 4 minutes later. Fastest top up of credit ever! Shame they were ringing outside of my working hours which are stated on my ads!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 27 May 2015, 10:03:33 pm
Phone call:

Client: Hi Babe
Me: Hi
Client: How are you?
Me: I'm good thanks, how are you?
Client: Horny
Me: OK?

.... Does anyone else find that sort of communication a bit awkward? The babe thing is enough to put me off but coming out with 'horny' is so tacky!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kazzle on 27 May 2015, 11:02:16 pm
This is a "regular" I've got fed up with and have been avoiding recently. He phoned me on DirectChat so I didn't realise it was him when I picked up.

Him: I'm really horny can you see me early tomorrow morning
Me: I'm not going to be getting to bed much before midnight so no.
Him: What about 7am?
Me: No!. Call me in a couple of weeks (when I've blocked you on email, webcam, directchat and everything else I can think of!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 28 May 2015, 01:59:17 am
Via text.
Hi I've seen you on interrnet r u free tonight?
me:Ring me x
Him:You now my biach is sleeping next to me so can u tax me if u r free


No just no.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 28 May 2015, 03:30:53 pm
A guy made an enquiry yesterday about today, so I messaged him back the details.  I got this today:

'I made another booking.  Thank you for your response'.

It's really pissed me off for some reason - the response, not him going to see someone else.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: daringtobedemi on 29 May 2015, 11:43:40 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 28 May 2015, 03:30:53 pm
A guy made an enquiry yesterday about today, so I messaged him back the details.  I got this today:

'I made another booking.  Thank you for your response'.

It's really pissed me off for some reason - the response, not him going to see someone else.

Yah, that's really rude, I'd be upset too. He could have been a bit more polite.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: daringtobedemi on 29 May 2015, 11:43:56 pm
Just had a guy threaten to call the police on me if I didn't send him a full nude pic.

Told him asking for gas wasn't illegal and then blocked his ass lol. I love it when they try to out me.... I'm pretty open about what I do for work, honestly, and I know my way around our laws.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sambabe on 29 May 2015, 11:56:07 pm
"Can you take a 10 inch cock" by text I think he missed the decimal point off. Now blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 30 May 2015, 11:21:03 am
"Can we meet so I can lick suck and fuck you until you come all over my face".... um, no!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 30 May 2015, 08:16:09 pm
Ok, this is an absolute first for me this evening!

Phone call -
Him: Can I book for another day?
Me: Sure, i mostly take advance bookings
Him: Does it matter that I'm 16

I know others here have said they would do it. But I just CAN'T do a 16 year old.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 31 May 2015, 08:59:32 am
Woke up to this text.

"Hey she got fart tonight u 2 would get on i know u luv a fart lol"

???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 31 May 2015, 09:04:03 am
Hi can I come see you this evening at 8pm  (after ive said to caller I finish at 5pm )
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 01 June 2015, 09:50:30 am
caller just now... please can you give  it to me for ?20.00
I told him to wank  himself off  for free and save his money  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cassiea on 01 June 2015, 09:55:29 am
Quote from: Exotic flower on 01 June 2015, 09:50:30 am
caller just now... please can you give  it to me for ?20.00
I told him to wank  himself off  for free and save his money  ::)

 ;D ;D ;D ;D That's too funny, made my morning! x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 01 June 2015, 02:40:45 pm
 you do have, I must say, the most alluring, cock-stiffening, suckable, juicy, beautiful, womanly, sexy, succulent breasts I?ve ever laid eyes on, and may I compliment you on the prettiest face I would love to hold, kiss, caress and worship.

The next time I?m travelling to London, if you are free I would love to arrange a 2 or 3 hour meeting with you, if you would like to see me? I will, of course, give you plenty of notice.

If we arrange to meet, most of that time together will be spent feeling your wet lips and tongue toying, kissing, licking and sucking on the engorged head and shaft of my 7? inch cock fat cock and you holding your exquisite breasts, wrapping them around my cock, tit-fucking me into monumental orgasms. Don?t worry, I don?t get to have all the fun... in fact, I promise to take you to heaven. You are quite simply stunning and beautiful... a rare a wondrous mature woman at the peak of your sexuality.

You think you?ve met some boob men; I?m absolutely sure you have but you have not met me. You have a very good idea of what ?tit-sex? is about but you don?t know what body-quivering, intense-orgasmic, TRUE breast worship is really like because I am one of only a handful of men in the world that represent the tiniest minority who intuitively know that a woman?s breasts are the seat of where monumental, unbelievable orgasms begin.

In me you will find the essence of what truly makes a man obsessed with breasts. Breasts are my obsession, an obsession, love and hobby I have honed over many years of breast worship. If we meet, it is guaranteed I will take you to heaven with my unique breast adoration and worship that you have never experienced before and will make juices ooze from your pussy as your body shudders in sheer ecstasy. My expertise will contract your areolae, producing more Montgomery tubercles on your nipples of your perfect breasts than you have ever experienced in your life.

I have learned the art of how to touch, caress, kiss, play and suck a woman?s breasts for hours without causing any soreness. If anything you will be asking me for more and when I make you squirt hot juices from your pussy from my breast play. Even if you have never squirted before, you will do if you meet me.

If you are already an accomplished squirter, prepare for multiple-squirting-orgasms. And when you squirt, there is nowhere else I would like the jets of your womanly, wet sex juice spraying and squirting all over my cock and in my mouth.

I would love to unload all an ungodly geyser of cum over your heavenly tetas and lick every drop of my spunk off your enormous, goddess like tits.

If this doesn?t sound like something you would enjoy, you?re in the wrong business, angel. I hope you like the sound of what I?ve described ? and I promise you, it merely touches the tip of the iceberg. I do hope that we can arrange a meeting so we can change each other?s lives into pure Bohemian, Utopian, euphoria for a few hours.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 01 June 2015, 04:16:16 pm
Quote from: Exotic flower on 01 June 2015, 02:40:45 pm
you do have, I must say, the most alluring, cock-stiffening, suckable, juicy, beautiful, womanly, sexy, succulent breasts I?ve ever laid eyes on, and may I compliment you on the prettiest face I would love to hold, kiss, caress and worship.

The next time I?m travelling to London, if you are free I would love to arrange a 2 or 3 hour meeting with you, if you would like to see me? I will, of course, give you plenty of notice.

If we arrange to meet, most of that time together will be spent feeling your wet lips and tongue toying, kissing, licking and sucking on the engorged head and shaft of my 7? inch cock fat cock and you holding your exquisite breasts, wrapping them around my cock, tit-fucking me into monumental orgasms. Don?t worry, I don?t get to have all the fun... in fact, I promise to take you to heaven. You are quite simply stunning and beautiful... a rare a wondrous mature woman at the peak of your sexuality.

You think you?ve met some boob men; I?m absolutely sure you have but you have not met me. You have a very good idea of what ?tit-sex? is about but you don?t know what body-quivering, intense-orgasmic, TRUE breast worship is really like because I am one of only a handful of men in the world that represent the tiniest minority who intuitively know that a woman?s breasts are the seat of where monumental, unbelievable orgasms begin.

In me you will find the essence of what truly makes a man obsessed with breasts. Breasts are my obsession, an obsession, love and hobby I have honed over many years of breast worship. If we meet, it is guaranteed I will take you to heaven with my unique breast adoration and worship that you have never experienced before and will make juices ooze from your pussy as your body shudders in sheer ecstasy. My expertise will contract your areolae, producing more Montgomery tubercles on your nipples of your perfect breasts than you have ever experienced in your life.

I have learned the art of how to touch, caress, kiss, play and suck a woman?s breasts for hours without causing any soreness. If anything you will be asking me for more and when I make you squirt hot juices from your pussy from my breast play. Even if you have never squirted before, you will do if you meet me.

If you are already an accomplished squirter, prepare for multiple-squirting-orgasms. And when you squirt, there is nowhere else I would like the jets of your womanly, wet sex juice spraying and squirting all over my cock and in my mouth.

I would love to unload all an ungodly geyser of cum over your heavenly tetas and lick every drop of my spunk off your enormous, goddess like tits.

If this doesn?t sound like something you would enjoy, you?re in the wrong business, angel. I hope you like the sound of what I?ve described ? and I promise you, it merely touches the tip of the iceberg. I do hope that we can arrange a meeting so we can change each other?s lives into pure Bohemian, Utopian, euphoria for a few hours.

Oh that last paragraph!! Patronising little shit!!
(not to mention the vomit-inducing 'erotic' essay!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 01 June 2015, 04:21:45 pm
I wonder how many legit bookings he actually makes. Not many I'll bet.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 01 June 2015, 05:40:37 pm
I cringed in pain while reading that. Ugh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 01 June 2015, 06:21:06 pm
I just did a dramatic reading of that out loud to my friends. We are all about to die of laughter.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 01 June 2015, 06:29:57 pm
It made me physically shudder I can't imagine anything more cringeworthy than a meet with him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 01 June 2015, 06:47:30 pm
I'd have been tempted to reply with 'Wow!You sound amazing..you should be selling it as a service not buying my services...'.
He's an immediate block if ever I saw one!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 01 June 2015, 08:33:50 pm
Hands up who else is 'in the wrong business' ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 01 June 2015, 08:37:57 pm
Sweet Jesus! He sounds like the most inept annoying prick on the planet! I would be done for justifiable murder.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 01 June 2015, 11:14:48 pm
Just had a cracker girls. 

Guy phones.  He wants to book me from 10.30am-5pm tomorrow.  When I arrive at the hotel I'll be required to go through a metal detector for ''his safety'' to make sure I'm not carrying anything (hotels in Edinburgh with metal detectors on the doors? That's a new one on me).

My rates are different from ''his rates'', and he quotes a figure he's going to pay me which is basically double my hourly rate for that time.

He can't give me his hotel details just now, of course, because he's waiting for confirmation himself - in Edinburgh they don't normally like you landing a private plane before 10am - so he's waiting to hear that he is being allowed to land.

I think he wins my fantasist of the week award.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 01 June 2015, 11:21:29 pm
Just had an exchange with a guy whom I told I do not take phonecalls and that I am not available to meet tonight. Despite that, he continues blowing up my mailbox, in turn requesting that I call him, and pleading for me to see him tonight. Some people...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 02 June 2015, 02:48:03 am
Quote from: The_Lynx on 01 June 2015, 05:40:37 pm
I cringed in pain while reading that. Ugh.
yes me too, I havnt even replied , how dare I not !!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 02 June 2015, 04:33:40 am
What a masterpiece of wankery!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweet jane on 02 June 2015, 03:20:40 pm
Semi-poetic fantasist/timewaster:

If economically, I could travel to you, I prostrate before your royal feet,
I kneel before your imperial presence and I would be slave forever and
always, even to the smallest of your hairs, Oh, Goddesses Divine

Sometimes I imagined women (including dolls, fembots, gimbots, transsexuals who are now women, etc.) as almighty, including magical powers. Able to be giants, to lengthen each and every one of their hairs, moving them as arms
and legs, moving hairs, to take with them what they want, as if they were strings, to tie, to enslave all the infinite.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 03 June 2015, 06:37:22 pm
Got a call just now-

Him: I will give you ?300/350 if I can come and see you kiss your feet and you call me a dirty filthy Mexican I don't want sex.
Me: no, sorry I don't offer that (when they offer to pay more I run a mile!)
Him: why not?
Me: well, because it's not something I want to do.
Him: so you're ok with people licking your fanny but not this
Me: (laughing at this point) and that is why I said no. Goodnight.

All this after I told him that my AW clearly states I'm fully booked which is where he said he found me.
 
BLOCKED
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 03 June 2015, 08:27:33 pm
got this from a guy with a hidden profile hmmmm, i totally should take him up on it!

Quote
Hi I'm looking to get into this line of business and teaming up with a girl doing couples sessions and 3 some sessions would you be interested x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 04 June 2015, 12:04:08 am
AW messege header: 'Tit wank'

What happened to: 'Hello, I am interested in an appointment with your beautiful self...'?
Did porn spoil the magic lol :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 04 June 2015, 07:07:57 pm
I'm not impressed with Vivastreet so far. Loads of messages but only 1 actual booking.
Today's made me furious:
Wants an outcall to a hotel on Weds at 10pm but I say I'm not going to start an outcall so late, so says he'll come for an incall instead and mentions he likes to cross dress. I offer him a 6pm booking but don't get a response. On Wednesday at 3.30 I get an email asking for my address so I tell him he never got back to me so I haven't booked him in (I don't take same day bookings). He rebooks for today at 5.30pm. Texts to confirm in the morning, then texts at 3.20 asking to move it to 6pm. I say sure. He texts at 5.50 to say he's here. I give him the apartment number but ask him not to buzz til 6 as I'm not quite ready. At 5 past 6 still nothyng so I text saying to buzz when he's ready. He buzzes and I let him in. Stand by the apartment door waiting and waiting and... waiting. No one appears. I ring him and he says he was hoping I'd come down to meet him. I say he really needs to come up to the top floor as that's where the apartment is. He says ok. Guess what? No further contact. I sent a pleasant message asking him if anythyng was the matter - no response. I rang several tymes and he keeps cutting me off. I'm afraid I sent an angry one after that telling me he owes me ?120.
 I had another offer from someone who used to be a regular and I turned him down as I was already booked by this fucking time-waster.
  I'm so angry I could poop.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 04 June 2015, 07:42:26 pm
Nova, we get eejits calling from every site, not just viva street.

There are so many red flags re this caller I would have refused booking and taken reg.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LAC-xox on 05 June 2015, 10:08:17 am
An absolute cracker of a message this morning...


Quote
hi beautiful

i am 34, handsome male, athletic body and i live in Athens in Greece in a very modern stylish 4 bedroom house. i have recently moved to Athens from London

let me know if you want to holiday in Athens. i am on whatsapp, skype and facetime. my skype is: viki.19822

this is an all expenses covered holidays proposal. but you can also choose to live with me full time

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

common questions and answers ....

question: please book me first or chat to me in my room

answer: NO i wont book you or chat to you in your room as this proposal is not an excuse for your business. i can meet you outside in public in a restaurant. i can also chat to you on webcam using NORMAL skype or iphone facetime or whatsapp


question: you are just looking for a free chat ....

answer: i am a man of very few words and who ever has spoken to me can testify that i don't ever talk sex on phone. i believe sex is to be done not discussed

 



Yeah sure I'll just pack my bags and move to Athens with you on the off chance that you might pay me something  :FF what annoyed me most was the "common questions and answers ", how condescending  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 05 June 2015, 06:11:55 pm
One of those 'questions' is not actually a question.

I've had that email, before he decided to add a Q&A section though.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 05 June 2015, 06:22:11 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 01 June 2015, 04:16:16 pm
Quote from: Exotic flower on 01 June 2015, 02:40:45 pm
you do have, I must say, the most alluring, cock-stiffening, suckable, juicy, beautiful, womanly, sexy, succulent breasts I?ve ever laid eyes on, and may I compliment you on the prettiest face I would love to hold, kiss, caress and worship.

The next time I?m travelling to London, if you are free I would love to arrange a 2 or 3 hour meeting with you, if you would like to see me? I will, of course, give you plenty of notice.

If we arrange to meet, most of that time together will be spent feeling your wet lips and tongue toying, kissing, licking and sucking on the engorged head and shaft of my 7? inch cock fat cock and you holding your exquisite breasts, wrapping them around my cock, tit-fucking me into monumental orgasms. Don?t worry, I don?t get to have all the fun... in fact, I promise to take you to heaven. You are quite simply stunning and beautiful... a rare a wondrous mature woman at the peak of your sexuality.

You think you?ve met some boob men; I?m absolutely sure you have but you have not met me. You have a very good idea of what ?tit-sex? is about but you don?t know what body-quivering, intense-orgasmic, TRUE breast worship is really like because I am one of only a handful of men in the world that represent the tiniest minority who intuitively know that a woman?s breasts are the seat of where monumental, unbelievable orgasms begin.

In me you will find the essence of what truly makes a man obsessed with breasts. Breasts are my obsession, an obsession, love and hobby I have honed over many years of breast worship. If we meet, it is guaranteed I will take you to heaven with my unique breast adoration and worship that you have never experienced before and will make juices ooze from your pussy as your body shudders in sheer ecstasy. My expertise will contract your areolae, producing more Montgomery tubercles on your nipples of your perfect breasts than you have ever experienced in your life.

I have learned the art of how to touch, caress, kiss, play and suck a woman?s breasts for hours without causing any soreness. If anything you will be asking me for more and when I make you squirt hot juices from your pussy from my breast play. Even if you have never squirted before, you will do if you meet me.

If you are already an accomplished squirter, prepare for multiple-squirting-orgasms. And when you squirt, there is nowhere else I would like the jets of your womanly, wet sex juice spraying and squirting all over my cock and in my mouth.

I would love to unload all an ungodly geyser of cum over your heavenly tetas and lick every drop of my spunk off your enormous, goddess like tits.

If this doesn?t sound like something you would enjoy, you?re in the wrong business, angel. I hope you like the sound of what I?ve described ? and I promise you, it merely touches the tip of the iceberg. I do hope that we can arrange a meeting so we can change each other?s lives into pure Bohemian, Utopian, euphoria for a few hours.

Oh that last paragraph!! Patronising little shit!!
(not to mention the vomit-inducing 'erotic' essay!)

Wow. An email from the great uncle that sits you on his knee and tells you you're "coming along nicely".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 05 June 2015, 07:54:31 pm
Call three times 03:30-04:00, then leave a text asking me to call you back the next day. Call that afternoon and ask for an out-call to your house - which I make clear on all my profiles I don't do. Moron.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ebony on 06 June 2015, 12:28:34 am
I've had two time wasters this week ugh

One called and sounded genuine enough until he found out that I've had previous clients. He wanted someone new so he could take advantage of them I reckon! And there was no way I was going to let on that he would have infact been my first client!

Another sent me message after message asking about my services, when its on my profile! And never called to make the 4pm booking he was after

God help us  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LAC-xox on 06 June 2015, 10:52:09 pm
Ive had all the weirdos  in the past couple of days...
Today I woke up to a message simply saying "can I duct take and then kidnap you"
How much am I meant to charge him for this and what will I do with the money once he's dumped me in a river  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 06 June 2015, 10:59:59 pm
WTF ! :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 07 June 2015, 08:16:21 am
Quote from: sweet jane on 02 June 2015, 03:20:40 pm
Semi-poetic fantasist/timewaster:

If economically, I could travel to you, I prostrate before your royal feet,
I kneel before your imperial presence and I would be slave forever and
always, even to the smallest of your hairs, Oh, Goddesses Divine

Sometimes I imagined women (including dolls, fembots, gimbots, transsexuals who are now women, etc.) as almighty, including magical powers. Able to be giants, to lengthen each and every one of their hairs, moving them as arms
and legs, moving hairs, to take with them what they want, as if they were strings, to tie, to enslave all the infinite.

This guy likes hair extensions doesn't he. The type we clip in it would seem.  ::) Why doesn't he just say that. hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 08 June 2015, 05:53:45 pm
this one texted this morning, and wont ever get hold of me again!
"hi babe you good at blow jobs? coz if you are I will be your regular
"how many times can u make me cum in a 30 min booking?"
 I didn't bother replying to any of his dumb messages as I have now deactivated the account and got rid of the old phone number  :-*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 09 June 2015, 03:59:34 pm
I've been way from escorting for a year due to illness, just got myself sorted and popped a new AW profile up ... first message I get is 2000+ words (I shit you not) from someone claiming to offer a 35k monthly salary, with the most ridiculous list of rules about How To Spend it. Oh and a very generous week's holiday every three months.  ::) That laugh was worth waiting for.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 09 June 2015, 04:20:11 pm
Quote from: AliceRed on 09 June 2015, 03:59:34 pm
I've been way from escorting for a year due to illness, just got myself sorted and popped a new AW profile up ... first message I get is 2000+ words (I shit you not) from someone claiming to offer a 35k monthly salary, with the most ridiculous list of rules about How To Spend it. Oh and a very generous week's holiday every three months.  ::) That laugh was worth waiting for.

PLEASE-OH-PLEASE share this!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DustedWithSugar on 09 June 2015, 05:07:16 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 09 June 2015, 04:20:11 pm
Quote from: AliceRed on 09 June 2015, 03:59:34 pm
I've been way from escorting for a year due to illness, just got myself sorted and popped a new AW profile up ... first message I get is 2000+ words (I shit you not) from someone claiming to offer a 35k monthly salary, with the most ridiculous list of rules about How To Spend it. Oh and a very generous week's holiday every three months.  ::) That laugh was worth waiting for.

PLEASE-OH-PLEASE share this!!!!
+1  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 09 June 2015, 05:18:31 pm
he has a reverse booking up for the same thing.  ?6000 a month "wage" i think it was with a card to be topped up with ?35k to be spent on nice things.  the wage was for rent and bills etc, but you were to spoil yourself on the card hahahaha.  was a VERY wordy RB too.

Quote from: Fabulassie on 09 June 2015, 04:20:11 pm
Quote from: AliceRed on 09 June 2015, 03:59:34 pm
I've been way from escorting for a year due to illness, just got myself sorted and popped a new AW profile up ... first message I get is 2000+ words (I shit you not) from someone claiming to offer a 35k monthly salary, with the most ridiculous list of rules about How To Spend it. Oh and a very generous week's holiday every three months.  ::) That laugh was worth waiting for.

PLEASE-OH-PLEASE share this!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 09 June 2015, 05:19:51 pm
woke up to this delightful text

hiya, i'm XXX were ru how busy and horny ru and have you hairy or shaven pussy? i'm XXX cum get me lol.  ur busty! how busty ru?


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 09 June 2015, 05:40:12 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 09 June 2015, 05:18:31 pm
he has a reverse booking up for the same thing.  ?6000 a month "wage" i think it was with a card to be topped up with ?35k to be spent on nice things.  the wage was for rent and bills etc, but you were to spoil yourself on the card hahahaha.  was a VERY wordy RB too.

Quote from: Fabulassie on 09 June 2015, 04:20:11 pm
Quote from: AliceRed on 09 June 2015, 03:59:34 pm
I've been way from escorting for a year due to illness, just got myself sorted and popped a new AW profile up ... first message I get is 2000+ words (I shit you not) from someone claiming to offer a 35k monthly salary, with the most ridiculous list of rules about How To Spend it. Oh and a very generous week's holiday every three months.  ::) That laugh was worth waiting for.


Could you, ah, give a postcode within a 10-mile radius of it so we can all have a laugh?
PLEASE-OH-PLEASE share this!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 09 June 2015, 05:49:16 pm
i can't see it now, but pretty sure it was londoncentric.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 10 June 2015, 12:10:14 pm
I know we get ones all the time that don't even know who we are but something about this really made me laugh.

'Hi I'm xxxx where are you based and how busty are you and what is your name?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 10 June 2015, 12:21:11 pm
I have three different rates for three different kinds of services spanning from social to full on sex stuff. The upsides of this is that I get a hell of a lot of social bookings which I enjoy. The downside of this is getting people like the idiot I got today that wanted to "massage me all over" but "not in intimate places" thereby not meeting the requirement to pay full rate but still getting to cop a nice feel. ...Right then. The cherry on the cake was his asking for half an hour, pushing the rate down to ?30. Blocked him, and I'm very seriously considering removing these "halfway" services altogether despite the good rep they've given me. If people can only just get their heads around why I might not want to offer OWO, it'll take them a long long time to understand that cuddling doesn't involve fingering me, for fuck's sake.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AliceRed on 10 June 2015, 12:37:30 pm
I'm Manchester-based, not sure what the postcode for the RB is as he just messaged me the whole thing. I suggest settling in with a glass of wine before reading.  :P  Like, bloody hell love, half the appeal of this job is being self-employed.

Quote
Hello. I've decided to update my reverse booking as I don't feel certain parts of it were clear enough nor did I really ask the right questions or enough. There are a few subtle changes throughout and it's probably best you read through again to make sure that you are happy with them, if this is the first time you've seen this, then don't worry about all that, keep reading and hopefully this is for you. I've been really busy over the last few weeks with work so really haven't had the chance too see anyone so I thought it was unfair too start until i'm ready to commit as much time to this as yourself.

Summary: Salary ?7700 + ?35000 allowance + perks (transport, accommodation, surgery)

Thank you for taking the time to read this and hopefully you're happy being the girl who joins me on this fantastic journey. This is going to be a long read, so please make sure you read the entire thing before responding. If you aren't happy with anything or would like to tweak things slightly please feel free to contact me also as I can be quite flexible to a certain extent for the right girl.

I'll start with a brief summary and then hopefully be able to answer most of your questions as we continue, of course if you do have any questions at the end feel free to message me. However hopefully you feel confident enough in what you have read to bid and we can take this journey together.

This would be an exclusive arrangement between us, in very simple terms I pay you an amount of money each month, of course with a few bonuses that I shall explain later and in return you see me as often as you can and only me. The base salary would be ?7700 per month, with an allowance of up too ?35000, this will be explained in more detail later :)

What I'm looking for is a girl who is ideally under 35, somebody who doesn't take life too seriously, who's trust worthy and who understands that things that make you happy are worth the effort. I'm not looking for a certain size or shape, I'm just looking for somebody who is happy to make the effort and can have a great time with both in and out of the bedroom. Somebody who's open and honest with me and understands that this job is not just to keep me happy but too enjoy yourself as well. I don't want a girl who's catch phrase is "whatever you want" I'd much rather somebody who has some idea of the things that make them happy and isn't scared to act on it.

I understand at first it may be a little confusing why I would be offering what's essentially a lot of money for this, however I'm not looking for a bargain price, I'm looking too make the girl's life who's going on this journey with me better wherever I can. I'm a very firm believer that a happy, more relaxed girl is a far better lover and company, I find most girls are a lot happier when they are not only debt free but wearing things they love and don't have to worry about the next job or how they will cope if anything unexpected comes up, or maybe it's because you can just slow the pace down and enjoy the little things more.

So I should probably at this point talk about myself, I'm in my early 30s and have made my money initially in property but primarily in the IT sector as a consultant after selling my company a few years ago. I'm a very laid back, honest and open person, who after a nasty divorce and lots of changes in my life is trying to find a girl who's fun to be around and spend time with. Without the fuss and guessing game that comes from a normal relationship. This is one of the many reasons I have chosen AW to try and find the right person, as I don't want a girl just looking for a free meal, I'm looking for somebody who wants to enjoy every aspect that this and I have too offer.

Somebody who understands that her job is not just too have sex with me but too make yourself happy too, I'm always going to choose the girl who visibly makes an effort for me. The type of girl who always makes sure she looks her best around me, who gives more than one word answers, who gets that this arrangement is about more than just you or me, it's about the both of us. Hopefully that's you! In regards to my sexual requirements, I'm not looking for anything too crazy, I am very talented in the bedroom as I'm sure you can see from my feedback and like to spoil a girl.

Right, now too the maths bit, you will be paid a base salary of ?7700 a month, this is your money to do what you want with (I'd suggest you save what's left after bills) and will be paid at the start of our arrangement and then every month after that until we decide to end it. You will also be entitled to an allowance, which a few restrictions, of ?35000 a month, this is to be spent on ?stuff? the salary will be paid into your account at the start of the month and the allowance will be a bank card which I shall top up. The allowance is for pretty much anything you wish, clothes, shoes, tech, travel, holidays, spa days, showing off to your friends etc.

Although I would ask that you spend a least some of it on treating yourself, weather it be clothes or shoes or watches or video games, whatever your poison, as the entire purpose of this is to make us both happier people. I know money doesn't buy happiness but it's amazing how much easier the sadness is to shed when you have shiny things to distract you. The more reasons you can give a girl too like seeing you the better I think, so if there is anything that would just make this even better for you please let me know.

In regards too how long we see each other for I would suggest that when we meet to see how we get on ahead of starting, we will need to meet before agreeing to go ahead, as you really can't tell how you get on with somebody until you're in the same room, especially for the sorts of things that we would be doing. Anyway, I think the best thing is that we decide to commit to either 3 or 6 months, 3 months being the ideal minimum. Then at the end of the period we can sit down and talk and of course either extend our time together or end things. Hopefully we see each other for a long time! I don't have a specific starting date in mind, just when we're both ready :)

The few exceptions too the allowance I can think, these are the things you are not allowed to spend your allowance on:
- Vehicles and accommodation, because this essentially a contract that could last anywhere from 3 months too 3 years, or maybe even longer, it would be best that if you are looking for accommodation closer too me, or a nicer car to get too me or around the place that you let me take care off that, as then you won't be tied into any agreements or be responsible for any payments on those things. This is all completely optional!
- Bills and debts, this can come from your salary but the purpose of the allowance is to treat yourself, not to cover the basics
Getting any work done, surgery or dental work, etc. Most of these types of things require a recovery time where you would be unable too travel or would hinder other physical activities. So I would suggest that if you did want anything done, that we decide on a 6 month minimum term. I'm happy to pay for any work to be done up front so you start feeling you're absolute best, as long as we see each other a few times before hand. Then after your recovery time we can properly our agreement.
- Topping up your salary, the allowance is not for you too keep, it is to spend on ?stuff? not to pad out your bank account

I imagine you're wondering why not just give you all the money in cash, there are a few reasons for this, mostly to do with tax and that the card I will give you in order to use your allowance itself comes with certain perks such as complimentary hotel and travel upgrades. It's also I'd imagine has a much higher limit than your current card so wouldn't limit you spending it on things you love.

I am very happy to provide proof that I have the money and am happy to do this, should after you respond I feel that you are as serious as I am about all this :)

In regards to what is required from you in the short term, if you bid or message me saying you are interested in doing this with me then I shall send you the form, (which I have updated), you will be also expected to take and email specified sets of photos to myself. I can assure you that this data will be kept safe and secure and will be for my eyes only. Next is that should after filling out the form and sending the photos and talking too me then we need to meet up so that we can see how we get on and of course then we can both decide if we want to go ahead.

In regards too holiday, you can have one week off within every three month period and I would also insist that you treat yourself too a spa day and get pampered, to ensure you always feel your best at least once a month. When I say holiday, I mean holiday from this job, I would hope that we can take as many holidays together as possible.

I've had far too many girls in the past who clearly been too blinded by the few hundred pounds they would potentially loose out on, as well as not understand that this is not just a one off booking. That it is us both finding out if we are compatible enough to go ahead. Due to that us meeting before going ahead will not be paid for. I'm aware that may put some people off, however I know that the girls who actually want to do this would be willing to put in the effort and see me on there own time. I can't say I've every been paid to go to an interview and just because you're pretty doesn't mean I will you. I understand that there are time wasters on this site and a number of girls who are jealous they haven't made the cut or simply put no effort in have called me just that. However it is very far from the truth and I hope you can see from the effort I've put into this as well as the fact that I am willing to show that I have the finances to do this long term that you will join me.

I won't be seeing just anybody, and the girl I like the most I shall see first, I will see somebody else only on the basis that things don't work out between us for whatever reason. So that I know you have read this, as I intend to pay whoever I select the amount suggested please put 7777 in the either the comment box or the price box.

Looking forward to meeting you :) x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 10 June 2015, 12:42:40 pm
Well! That certainly was interesting!

First meeting for free, and you also have to send him nude photos.

Right.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 10 June 2015, 02:22:11 pm
haha thats the very one alice only on his RB, he was offering around ?6500 a month i think.

didn't half make me laugh
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 10 June 2015, 02:30:23 pm
Texts yesterday.
Him, Hi, can I have your address to see if I'm near you, I'd like a booking this afternoon.
Me, Sorry but I'm fully booked a day.
Him, Can you text me the address anyway so I've got it for when I'm in the area again.
Me, No I only give out my address to guys I've spoken with and confirmed a booking time.
Him, Ok, well if you don't want to play with a 32 year old ex personal trainer then it's your loss.

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ebony on 10 June 2015, 09:45:22 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 10 June 2015, 02:30:23 pm
Texts yesterday.
Him, Hi, can I have your address to see if I'm near you, I'd like a booking this afternoon.
Me, Sorry but I'm fully booked a day.
Him, Can you text me the address anyway so I've got it for when I'm in the area again.
Me, No I only give out my address to guys I've spoken with and confirmed a booking time.
Him, Ok, well if you don't want to play with a 32 year old ex personal trainer then it's your loss.

 ::)

Charming! Some guys are so full of themselves!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 10 June 2015, 10:03:37 pm
Quote from: Lola E on 10 June 2015, 09:45:22 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 10 June 2015, 02:30:23 pm
Texts yesterday.
Him, Hi, can I have your address to see if I'm near you, I'd like a booking this afternoon.
Me, Sorry but I'm fully booked a day.
Him, Can you text me the address anyway so I've got it for when I'm in the area again.
Me, No I only give out my address to guys I've spoken with and confirmed a booking time.
Him, Ok, well if you don't want to play with a 32 year old ex personal trainer then it's your loss.

 ::)

Charming! Some guys are so full of themselves!
I usually text back that as long as you're clean, polite and pay I don't have a preference on looks, it's like the ones that send pictures of their penis as if we are gonna be impressed!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 10 June 2015, 10:24:24 pm
I had someone who has escort feedback email me to offer his personal training services... is he saying I'm fat?! lol  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 10 June 2015, 11:15:33 pm
lol nahh....He wants to watch your ass go up and down for free ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 11 June 2015, 11:54:20 am
Me to caller:Hi there
Him:Have you got big tits?..Now aside from the very obvious 38GG's on my photos...what the actual feck?
Phone went down instantly.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 11 June 2015, 09:32:23 pm
I know this isn't the world's worst, but just set my teeth on edge. Made up name anybody?

Also why would I possibly want to see anyone with a "spicy chorizo" for a dick.

Hi my love

my name is Tony Cometupucha I am a very sexy hot/caliente Spanish Latin male with a very nice and spicy/naughty chorizo //// arriba !!!
Also a good salsa/ dancer that likes to perform amateur striptease for horny pretty ladies like yourself
I love role play and to have very sexy naughty time....

please let me know your availability and location and if you have a mobile number to contact you more directly
Do you meet with couples or small party swingers?

love and naughty xxxx

Tony Cometupucha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 11 June 2015, 09:46:34 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 11 June 2015, 09:32:23 pm
Tony Cometupucha

Absolutely top quality comedy gold.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 11 June 2015, 09:48:28 pm
Quote from: victoryrose on 11 June 2015, 09:46:34 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 11 June 2015, 09:32:23 pm
Tony Cometupucha

Absolutely top quality comedy gold.  ;D

I'm guessing he means Tony Come-put-it-up-ya

xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 11 June 2015, 11:56:28 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 11 June 2015, 09:32:23 pm
I know this isn't the world's worst, but just set my teeth on edge. Made up name anybody?

Also why would I possibly want to see anyone with a "spicy chorizo" for a dick.

Hi my love

my name is Tony Cometupucha I am a very sexy hot/caliente Spanish Latin male with a very nice and spicy/naughty chorizo //// arriba !!!
Also a good salsa/ dancer that likes to perform amateur striptease for horny pretty ladies like yourself
I love role play and to have very sexy naughty time....

please let me know your availability and location and if you have a mobile number to contact you more directly
Do you meet with couples or small party swingers?

love and naughty xxxx

Tony Cometupucha
That has to be a joke, I love it x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foxylady on 12 June 2015, 07:49:45 pm
OMG........I got the same/similar message, I assumed it was from a girl, and said "on no sorry, I'm straight"

she said "I'm a man"

Yes, I'm going to share my hard earned cash with someone else, who wouldn't be able to get work himself unless going for the gay client, he said "oh no, I don't want paying, I just want the experience before I can branch out on my own".

Yeah, good luck with that then!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 13 June 2015, 01:48:19 am
great, another wanting to be pals

Quote
Hello. Really love ur pic's. Your very sexy and love to see. There is no-where else to go for sex and been on aw for years now with my profile.

Would love to even go out with you first to meet up with you socially first that would be amazing.

Love to hear back from you so much. I have a profile too.

 x x x x


i reply with rates on my profile etc...

Quote
Hello. If this isn't an automatic reply?

Would you go out with me, please...maybe first for a drink / coffee socially so you can meet me and we can see each other.

I fancy you from your pictures very very much.

Please say you'll see me sometime soon.

I have a profile too, so you can see me.

 x x x x

again, i reply that a social meet is fine, but he is paying for my time and not what we decide to do during the booking....

Quote
Im hoping it's cheaper just to socially meet up with you because im not touching or asking for any services from you.

Im asking to be a friend but not wanting to be a friend with you forever. Want to go out with you first and if you like me as well as I do, then we could be together so you wouldn't have to do this to earn money as you'd have me.

Please may I come out and see you babes.

 x x x x



thanks but no thanks and this follows

Quote
Ive been out with a couple of women on here, but had to travel and it's a pain. I like having fun also, lol, but never had any sex in 6 years without paying for it.

I would pay you...But im a part-time cleaner on minimum wage due to some fatigue issues I cant work many long hours. So money is something I don't have much of.

Been on match.com for 2 years, nothing happens as women are too conservative (boring)......please may I take you out first. Like you very very much so please x x x x

I have whatsapp on my phone or if it's easier emailing you

 x x x x

aaaand block!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 13 June 2015, 11:33:01 am
My Vivastreet experiment is kind of a disaster. I'm the first result on the first Google result for escorts in my city, and all it's bringing me is some of the absolute worst timewasters you can imagine. I can't even begin to describe what I've been dealing with, and the ad hasn't even been up for 24 hours. Thank god I'm not yet paying for it, doubt I ever will if this doesn't improve.  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 13 June 2015, 01:28:59 pm
Same with me VR. The one genuine booking I did get from my trial explained that he had adult security settings on his phone as his son used it. I sort of get the impression that 'serious' punters will use AW etc., whereas Vivastreet attracts more general browsers. Hence the stupid questions and timewasters.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 13 June 2015, 05:13:59 pm
Not really a stupid email/inquiry per se, but...

A guy I've seen once before and completely didn't click with asked for a 5 hour meet on Sunday. Nope, nope, nope. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 13 June 2015, 05:40:01 pm
'ur good looken an ur british makes a change'
Didn't try to book...a speech, a greeting or compliment? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 13 June 2015, 07:59:44 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 13 June 2015, 01:28:59 pm
Same with me VR. The one genuine booking I did get from my trial explained that he had adult security settings on his phone as his son used it. I sort of get the impression that 'serious' punters will use AW etc., whereas Vivastreet attracts more general browsers. Hence the stupid questions and timewasters.

Absolutely, only just hit the 24 hour mark and I think one more day of this will be enough. ::) To think that appearing first was a good thing!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 14 June 2015, 12:23:25 pm
Text today.
You working, how much?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 14 June 2015, 12:25:47 pm
Quote from: cheesypeas on 13 June 2015, 05:40:01 pm
'ur good looken an ur british makes a change'
Didn't try to book...a speech, a greeting or compliment? ???
When I get guys who say this to me they never make a booking because they usually haven't read anything off my ads!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 14 June 2015, 12:29:29 pm
Yes I agree Red. I think social media maybe has crippled their
capacity to read anything more than 6 words long.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LAC-xox on 14 June 2015, 05:32:13 pm
Message on adultwork...
"Hey babe am in blackpool next weekend wondering if ud be up for meetin in McDonald's for a quick suck in the toilet"
What possesses these men?!  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 14 June 2015, 05:36:48 pm
Quote from: LAC-xox on 14 June 2015, 05:32:13 pm
Message on adultwork...
"Hey babe am in blackpool next weekend wondering if ud be up for meetin in McDonald's for a quick suck in the toilet"
What possesses these men?!  :o
If you can't do it I will, oh the glamour! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 14 June 2015, 08:45:10 pm
Today I travelled for hours and when I arrived at my hotel and turned on my phone, I had several messages from someone saying that they'd really like to meet me but they don't know where I am.

My profile is pretty specific, right down to the nearest tube stop.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 14 June 2015, 09:25:00 pm
Quote from: LAC-xox on 05 June 2015, 10:08:17 am
An absolute cracker of a message this morning...


Quote
hi beautiful

i am 34, handsome male, athletic body and i live in Athens in Greece in a very modern stylish 4 bedroom house. i have recently moved to Athens from London

let me know if you want to holiday in Athens. i am on whatsapp, skype and facetime. my skype is: viki.19822

this is an all expenses covered holidays proposal. but you can also choose to live with me full time

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

common questions and answers ....

question: please book me first or chat to me in my room

answer: NO i wont book you or chat to you in your room as this proposal is not an excuse for your business. i can meet you outside in public in a restaurant. i can also chat to you on webcam using NORMAL skype or iphone facetime or whatsapp


question: you are just looking for a free chat ....

answer: i am a man of very few words and who ever has spoken to me can testify that i don't ever talk sex on phone. i believe sex is to be done not discussed

 



Yeah sure I'll just pack my bags and move to Athens with you on the off chance that you might pay me something  :FF what annoyed me most was the "common questions and answers ", how condescending  >:(


I had this one recently too! 'This proposal is not an excuse for your business' - I said I AM running a business and if he is not interested in a business transaction then he is wasting my tyme.
Who would be stupid enough to actually go???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 14 June 2015, 09:31:15 pm
With these silly fantasies and proposals a good image
to keep in mind is a hairy chimpanzee idly wanking it's cock...
while picking it's nose.

That's the kind of base level these individuals are at
when they send these things out.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LAC-xox on 15 June 2015, 09:17:13 am
Desperately hoping for a waster and weirdo free week after last weeks antics!  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 15 June 2015, 09:27:00 am
Quote from: LAC-xox on 14 June 2015, 05:32:13 pm
Message on adultwork...
"Hey babe am in blackpool next weekend wondering if ud be up for meetin in McDonald's for a quick suck in the toilet"
What possesses these men?!  :o
I had a bloke ring me and ask me for this and I'm in Leeds probably the same cretin.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 15 June 2015, 11:45:00 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 15 June 2015, 09:27:00 am
Quote from: LAC-xox on 14 June 2015, 05:32:13 pm
Message on adultwork...
"Hey babe am in blackpool next weekend wondering if ud be up for meetin in McDonald's for a quick suck in the toilet"
What possesses these men?!  :o
I had a bloke ring me and ask me for this and I'm in Leeds probably the same cretin.
do mc donalds charge more for eat in?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 15 June 2015, 04:16:52 pm
Hi my name is Michael  im from ben dover a production company could I please ask would you be interested in staring with myself in a porn film,
no thanks your blocked bye bye  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 15 June 2015, 06:01:56 pm
Quote from: Exotic flower on 15 June 2015, 04:16:52 pm
Hi my name is Michael  im from ben dover a production company could I please ask would you be interested in staring with myself in a porn film,
no thanks your blocked bye bye  ::)

That might be true you know.  I knew a girl who did a couple of movies for them. (For the record she said she never regretted it but wouldn't do it again, she gave the impression she regretted it).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LAC-xox on 15 June 2015, 06:13:22 pm
Quote from: Exotic flower on 15 June 2015, 11:45:00 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 15 June 2015, 09:27:00 am
Quote from: LAC-xox on 14 June 2015, 05:32:13 pm
Message on adultwork...
"Hey babe am in blackpool next weekend wondering if ud be up for meetin in McDonald's for a quick suck in the toilet"
What possesses these men?!  :o
I had a bloke ring me and ask me for this and I'm in Leeds probably the same cretin.
do mc donalds charge more for eat in?

Haha, I wonder if they'd charge me more for using their toilets as my incall address  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 15 June 2015, 07:06:12 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 15 June 2015, 06:01:56 pm
Quote from: Exotic flower on 15 June 2015, 04:16:52 pm
Hi my name is Michael  im from ben dover a production company could I please ask would you be interested in staring with myself in a porn film,
no thanks your blocked bye bye  ::)

That might be true you know.  I knew a girl who did a couple of movies for them. (For the record she said she never regretted it but wouldn't do it again, she gave the impression she regretted it).
Yes ben Dover is a porn guy, a girl I know worked with him. Might be someone cashing in on him though? X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 15 June 2015, 07:28:11 pm
Another from the Why Did I Sign Up to Vivastreet Saga:

Got a call from a guy with who know's what accent asking if I'm interested in joining his agency in London. Got to the bit where he said he's happy to offer me free accommodation and I burst into hysterics and put the phone down. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 16 June 2015, 01:50:11 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 15 June 2015, 07:06:12 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 15 June 2015, 06:01:56 pm
Quote from: Exotic flower on 15 June 2015, 04:16:52 pm
Hi my name is Michael  im from ben dover a production company could I please ask would you be interested in staring with myself in a porn film,
no thanks your blocked bye bye  ::)

That might be true you know.  I knew a girl who did a couple of movies for them. (For the record she said she never regretted it but wouldn't do it again, she gave the impression she regretted it).
Yes ben Dover is a porn guy, a girl I know worked with him. Might be someone cashing in on him though? X

Yeah I don't know if I can really see a big porn name randomly emailling AW escorts, but then again why not, porn companies did used to advertise in the Sport and girls responded and did those jobs so stranger things have happened.

Anyway, I wouldn't do it myself and suspect a lot of escorts wouldn't do porn movies, so regardless.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 16 June 2015, 01:57:57 pm
Taken down my Vivastreet ad, conclusions: If you're in Devon, just don't bother.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 16 June 2015, 02:30:44 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 16 June 2015, 01:50:11 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 15 June 2015, 07:06:12 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 15 June 2015, 06:01:56 pm
Quote from: Exotic flower on 15 June 2015, 04:16:52 pm
Hi my name is Michael  im from ben dover a production company could I please ask would you be interested in staring with myself in a porn film,
no thanks your blocked bye bye  ::)

That might be true you know.  I knew a girl who did a couple of movies for them. (For the record she said she never regretted it but wouldn't do it again, she gave the impression she regretted it).
Yes ben Dover is a porn guy, a girl I know worked with him. Might be someone cashing in on him though? X

Yeah I don't know if I can really see a big porn name randomly emailling AW escorts, but then again why not, porn companies did used to advertise in the Sport and girls responded and did those jobs so stranger things have happened.

Anyway, I wouldn't do it myself and suspect a lot of escorts wouldn't do porn movies, so regardless.
I agree, he's quite well established so doubt he'd email randomly? X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 16 June 2015, 03:30:02 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 14 June 2015, 05:36:48 pm
Quote from: LAC-xox on 14 June 2015, 05:32:13 pm
Message on adultwork...
"Hey babe am in blackpool next weekend wondering if ud be up for meetin in McDonald's for a quick suck in the toilet"
What possesses these men?!  :o
If you can't do it I will, oh the glamour! X

I almost spat my coffee over my tablet I just saw this!

I hope some of these silly girls that thing we're courtesans charging ?500 and hour to have cocktails with men in fancy bars are paying attention!

Guess he wanted a happy meal eh.....(sorry had to, I'll show myself out..)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 22 June 2015, 01:30:31 pm
Received a one word text.....POSTCODE.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: peachybum on 22 June 2015, 01:33:08 pm
I get that all the time MH I just text back with the postcode for the local police station.  It always makes me giggle  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 22 June 2015, 03:17:24 pm
Subject: bj

Can you get a taxi to me for a quick blowjob?


 :D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amber_c on 23 June 2015, 09:58:01 am
Seen a client ages ago who I've noted in my phone as being a bit plummy/posh and offered his opinion too much, he's got back in touch for a booking.
Him: Been a while since I saw you so I need to ask, have you had a recent check sweetheart? No cold sores our other contagious things?
Me: Nope never had any cold sores, health check all fine x
Him:Great looking forward to catching up. Sorry I know you're meant to be just a fuck but I like your company.
Me: Haha well people book escorts for all sorts of reasons x
Him: Radio 4 right now
Me: ?
Him: Will be on iplayer, would love to hear your opinion. A program I think you'd be interested in "Sugar Daddy, Sugar Baby", wow BBC an enlightened view - what happened?

Ughhh go away! I hate when clients assume because I'm an escort I'm interested in every documentary about sex work from phone sex to strippers to sugar babies :FF I've never felt those documentaries offer any more truth than Secret Diary of a Call Girl.
This is the sort of client who texts me about his hard-on randomly.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 23 June 2015, 05:29:49 pm
Ooh dear.Just had a bloke try and book me to come see him at the local probation hostel...I think not!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 23 June 2015, 05:31:46 pm
OMG Amber! I think you're a saint...
or a master social manipulator.
I wouldn't let a client talk to me like that! :o
....anyone actually >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 23 June 2015, 05:34:08 pm
Quote from: cheesypeas on 23 June 2015, 05:31:46 pm
OMG Amber I think you're a saint...
I wouldn't let a client talk to me like that! :o
I'd have felt rather offended at the question regarding cold sores..patronising wanker.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 24 June 2015, 12:19:36 pm
Just had a bloke ring and ask for a trio with me and a couple of friends but can we pick him up at the train station in case he gets lost. He's coming from London. I dare say if he has managed to get to Leeds from London then he can find his way in a taxi to my apartment.I've had this a few times guys wanting to be picked up...I don't drive but beyond that do they ask their G.P or hairdresser to pick them up for an appointment?!?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 25 June 2015, 07:07:25 pm
Ive just had an email through AW

Can you do incall and pick me up

Now does he mean can I collect him and bring him to my place or does he mean can I lift him off the floor? I've had a text from one twat recently telling me hes 11 stone and wanting to know if I could lift him up and hold him over my head... ::) Both are no but jeezz some men are weird.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 25 June 2015, 08:31:14 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 25 June 2015, 07:07:25 pm
Ive just had an email through AW

Can you do incall and pick me up

Now does he mean can I collect him and bring him to my place or does he mean can I lift him off the floor? I've had a text from one twat recently telling me hes 11 stone and wanting to know if I could lift him up and hold him over my head... ::) Both are no but jeezz some men are weird.

I've had this stupidity before as well-
Numpty- I cant afford an outcall, could I please have an incall?
Me- sure
Numpty- Great. Could you pick me up from Halifax centre and drop me off after?
Me- So rather than me come to you for an outcall you'd prefer me to drive am hour round trip to pick you up, see you for a 30 min incall which is ?40 less than an outcall then drive another hour round trip to drop you off??
Numpty- yes please. What time will you be picking me up?

Wow. Just wow.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 26 June 2015, 07:46:07 am
Quote from: peachybum on 22 June 2015, 01:33:08 pm
I get that all the time MH I just text back with the postcode for the local police station.  It always makes me giggle  ;D

I have had this too. Only thing is my post code does include the police station.
I also got, Where I want to come, so I text back Timbuctoo and he replied with, postcode please.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 27 June 2015, 01:39:18 pm
Today's charmer:

SUBJECT: Lets fuck big girl

Hello gorgeous, J***, 18 from Newcastle here, want you to bounce on my hard cock and to spunk all over your big fat belly, you in Newcastle any time soon? xxx

Don't y'all be jealous now, ladies.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 27 June 2015, 02:01:03 pm
First phone call today: "Is that Kay the cum slut?" A little bit of similarly toned chat then he said he didn't mind if I just sucked his cock all night. Bye!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 29 June 2015, 05:39:30 am
Phone call last night,
 Him, Gives your address,
Me, why?
Him, well where about are you then.
Me, 'location.
Him, ok I'll come at five.
Me, no you won't.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 01 July 2015, 08:05:21 am
I think I was just contacted by a cat  :D

I apologise for the late call but are you by chance free to scratch my back and stroke my head for an hour? X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 01 July 2015, 07:05:44 pm
Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the sun is bringing out the idiots in droves...People turning up at what they think is near my location saying I am waiting here until I get an appointment, lol, oh your blocked idiot

Second one just now:

Where are you based, I mention a place, no I dont know that place he replies, can you tell me anywere closer or that I would know, errrr no I cant as that is the nearest place to me................

Then he gets ratty with me, so fuck this for a game of spoons, of ya go too..Now he is ringing from a private number, jeez they really think I am daft

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 01 July 2015, 07:18:00 pm
These dudes got sunstroke?
I asked him how long he's like...
He said 15 minutes...or less ???

Me-'5 minutes?'
Him-'Yes I haven't much time' (polite voice)
Me-What do you usually pay for 5 minutes?
Him- 'Err.....20 pounds'

I just couldn't help laughing...and he sounded a bit embarassed.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sourgrapes on 01 July 2015, 07:44:33 pm
Full Moon today, and the heat doesn't help
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 01 July 2015, 07:45:52 pm
OMG well spotted Grapes!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 01 July 2015, 07:53:08 pm
Another blooming gem

Were in Meath are you?
I am in Navan ( I am a half hr away from him)
I cant travel far or host ( guess that rules me out so)
Also what can I get for 20 - 30 euro ( fuck all)
Even if it doesn't get me much time in your company ( don't worry it buys you zero time in my company)

Jack

Well now Jack, I wouldn't even let you inside the front door for that paltry sum of cash..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 01 July 2015, 10:15:26 pm
wrong thread, sorry!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 02 July 2015, 10:09:29 pm
Text to me..
"In response to your lack of response theres
no longer any point for you to get in touch
with me in order to make a booking. Thanks"


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nikki Dee on 03 July 2015, 06:02:37 pm
Hi Ladies,

OMG am I glad to find this thread.  Had a week of weird requests and annoying morons and was looking for somewhere to vent.  :FF 

Ok here goes....

1.  Got an email from a guy who has just finished studying reflexology and wanted me to come round so he could give me a "free" foot massage so he could practise.  Wanted me to get dressed up, paint my toenails, travel to his house at my own expense and spend an hour of unpaid time with him rubbing my feet.    (I also posted this in warnings and timewasters)

2.  Had a guy emailing me 5 times a day for a week.  This started last Friday.  He wanted to book me for 3 hours while he was in London the following week (today).  Every day, every single flaming day he was emailing babbling on with nonsense.  He likes my pics...  He likes my name...  He has a new name for me...  He has had a bad day at work... Am I a siren...  Whats my favourite wine...  blah blah blah  Still no booking made. 

Wednesday he says he is waiting to confirm his hotel.  Then yesterday I get a message saying he cant confirm his hotel yet as his credit card got declined and needs to pay in cash on arrival.  Then this morning he emails to say hotel now booked.  I ask for reservation number and details...  He doesnt have them yet.   Then at 4.15 pm he asks if I can be there at 5.  I respond telling him that as he has only just found out his hotel and now changed from 9pm to 5pm I cannot get there in 45 minutes without the aid of a helicopter with onboard stylist and make up artist.   So he says "ok you can come at 6pm babe, but you have messed up my schedule now - oh and I only want you for an hour as I have to go out later".   I tell him to stop wasting my time - F'off and I block him. 

3.  When I think it can get no worse, I get a message from "well hung stud" (his words not mine) asking to meet.  I ask for home address, post code and phone number.    He says he cant meet at his house cos his Mrs is home.  He is trying to organise a mates house.  He doesn't want to give me the address as he doesnt want to get his mate in trouble so he would meet me at the end of the road and take me there.  Then he says - "if I cant get a hotel, I have a mattress in a storeroom at my dads shop - I can get us some candles and champagne and make it cosy"    I politely decline and block him.

Whats going on this week?  Do they have sunstroke????

Ok rant over.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 03 July 2015, 08:46:38 pm
Yes their brains have been turned into scrambled egg.
Why suffer, can you not block the foot guy Dimples?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nikki Dee on 03 July 2015, 08:56:54 pm
Blocked all three!!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nikki Dee on 04 July 2015, 02:29:15 pm
Got another one today...

"Love your profile, can we meet this weekend.  Your profile says you are partially shaved, but I like a full bush".   So what does he want me to do?  Get some stick on pubes?   Wear a grow bag and not a thong?   Any tips on growing a full bush in 6 hours ladies????

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 04 July 2015, 04:25:58 pm
"Good evening,

I am a Virgin interested in coming to see you.

I am a young male, early 20s. Professional and polite. I imagine my first meeting with yourself I may be a bit shy & overexcited.

I am currently based in the South West but within the next 4-6 weeks move up to the outskirts of Nottingham.

Could you talk about the levels of roughness & passion allowed please? Would I be able to slap your ass? or grab your hair & neck? Not necessarily pull or choke though?

Would a 2 or 3 hour booking be good? If I wanted to explore explore your body and try a variety of positions.

I can provide any details if needed.

Thanks for any advice,
Kind regards,"

Blah blah blah
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 04 July 2015, 07:26:10 pm
Quote from: Nicole Dimples on 04 July 2015, 02:29:15 pm
Got another one today...

"Love your profile, can we meet this weekend.  Your profile says you are partially shaved, but I like a full bush".   So what does he want me to do?  Get some stick on pubes?   Wear a grow bag and not a thong?   Any tips on growing a full bush in 6 hours ladies????

 
a murkin is useful its a pubic hair wig I understand lol !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 06 July 2015, 11:36:27 am
Had this brilliant voicemail earlier this morning.

'I would like to see you, I am on my way to you and will be with you at 11:30'.

No idea how he can be on his way to way to me without even a postcode, never mind the fact he doesn't even have an appointment.

Oh and the little fact that I don't even do incalls or same day bookings.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seleranda on 06 July 2015, 01:43:51 pm
OK, so after looong weeks reading this whole thread a couple of months ago I will finally say something! I have a lot of messages and gems to share but at the moment I just wanted to know what this was supposed to mean:

"Hi,

How much to come see 4 guys in a Barcelona apartment maybe GFE for one of them after a bit of a dance?"

Yes, you guessed right. It is from AW. The thing here is how am I supposed to give a GFE service to someone on an appointment with 3 other guys? Or it's that they just want to see me and one of them will be picked to be with me? I don't get it =S Anyway I'm not gonna go for 4 guys haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 06 July 2015, 04:32:30 pm
caller.. where you are? what do you do, what time you close?!
me , im not booking you bye  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: _who_know_ on 06 July 2015, 05:40:02 pm
"what time you close"   :FF

My favorite: "r u open" and "free?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 06 July 2015, 06:10:08 pm
I'm trying to skimp on syllables and see how they like it.
'You free?'
I now reply 'Y'
They get annoyed and say
'Y what?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 06 July 2015, 06:31:15 pm
Man for the past few weeks this industry has been full of twats and twonks.  Today I had a client who I had seen previously he booked for 30min and then was one of the most akward experiences in a long time, he was dragging his feet.  Came too 30 min he as still trying to play around and not cum, so he asked whether he could RO, by this time I am fed up and said to him "you booked me for 30 min not an hour, I suggest you get a move on".

Lately I am just tired of dickheads taking the mickey with my time.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sultress000 on 06 July 2015, 07:29:18 pm
I had this too with a 30 min booking.. Kept putting off finishing and suggesting new things till I had to outright tell him the half hr was up. Really pissed me off.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 06 July 2015, 09:17:57 pm
Quote from: _who_know_ on 06 July 2015, 05:40:02 pm
"what time you close"   :FF

My favorite: "r u open" and "free?"
my legs are open at 10am and they close at 9pm  !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Phoenix on 07 July 2015, 03:12:55 am
Quote from: Eroticism on 06 July 2015, 09:17:57 pm
Quote from: _who_know_ on 06 July 2015, 05:40:02 pm
"what time you close"   :FF

My favorite: "r u open" and "free?"
my legs are open at 10am and they close at 9pm  !!

 ;D ..But you still haven't informed him if you will charge him or not! XX
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nachos on 07 July 2015, 07:16:10 pm
Hahaha today this guy phones up and goes bla bla where are you based, then goes: Darling I've got Louis Vuitton hand luggage, would you service me for half hour? At first I didnt get what he meant, so I asked him, to which he replied: i have Louis Vuitton hand luggage darling would you service me for half an hour?
I said no chance darling, not even for 15 minutes and hung up lol. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 08 July 2015, 02:09:40 pm
 texter  .. call me, or text me when your free !!! like fuck I am you  idiot
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 09 July 2015, 05:39:03 pm
Quote from: nachos on 07 July 2015, 07:16:10 pm
Hahaha today this guy phones up and goes bla bla where are you based, then goes: Darling I've got Louis Vuitton hand luggage, would you service me for half hour? At first I didnt get what he meant, so I asked him, to which he replied: i have Louis Vuitton hand luggage darling would you service me for half an hour?
I said no chance darling, not even for 15 minutes and hung up lol. ;D

Is that a euphemism for something? have I got to check on the Urban dictionary..bonkers! Lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 09 July 2015, 09:29:30 pm
I think he wanted to pay in (probably knockoff) louis vuitton.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nachos on 09 July 2015, 11:54:46 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 09 July 2015, 09:29:30 pm
I think he wanted to pay in (probably knockoff) louis vuitton.

Precisely Misstudent! And most definitely a knock off, I mean how stupid do they think we are?1 ??? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seleranda on 10 July 2015, 01:52:46 pm
A week ago or so someone contacted me on AW - I think. We talked about some details, he wanted  a social meeting plus GFE. That was fine. We were sorting out how many hours of which because I don't charge the same and since payment is upfront it was important for me to know that. I was VERY specific about the options we had with all he wanted, always saying social meeting and GFE and how much would it be with how many hours each including a total rate. He was not that specific but enough though he finally agreed and as a brief he said:

"Ok, ?X is fine. So
20:00-22:00 not nude
22:00-0:00 nude"     (I don't remember if he said something else but I don't want to read again his email as it will get me fuming)

I was shocked while reading it. He wasn't super lovely but thought it didn't mean it would be a bad booking, but that was too much for me. At first I tried to ignore it because sometimes punters use a wrong - or even the worst LOL - way to say things but I ended up telling him that I was surprised by the way he called it - as I offer and so promote a sensual GFE - and that it was much more than that. I swear I wrote exactly those words. I also thought he could misunderstood the idea of social meeting and I "clarified" that it was outdoors. I ended the email saying something else. This is what I got as a reply from him:

"Ok, forget it you irritate me already"

Excuse me, WHAT?? I irritate YOU?? I was freaking out. It was sooo rude and he was soooo stupid. I wanted to ignore him but I replied with "I'm glad we feel the same way about each other" and sent him to another folder on my mail so I wouldn't get a reply to my In-box. I was fuming. How and why the hell do you call a social meeting by "[me being] not nude" and GFE by "[me being] nude"?? What's the point on having dinner and getting to know each other a little bit if he had such a poor "idea" of that? I really don't understand but I'm glad I didn't meet him.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 10 July 2015, 02:10:31 pm
 just now a phone calls then cuts off as I answer then he texts can you call me back as I have low credit ?
I didn't bother because lets face it he isn't making a booking either ! ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 10 July 2015, 02:51:24 pm
Quote from: Erotic Flower on 10 July 2015, 02:10:31 pm
just now a phone calls then cuts off as I answer then he texts can you call me back as I have low credit ?
I didn't bother because lets face it he isn't making a booking either ! ::)

Lol he has cash for a booking but none to top up his phone?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 10 July 2015, 03:13:49 pm
And yet another bellend asking if I can pick him up!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 10 July 2015, 03:54:32 pm
caller " give me your address"
me, are you making a booking?
caller I don't know "
 "I will give address to guys making genuine bookings"
caller where are you?
 me .. area stated..
 caller I might call back later
me.. whatever !!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Treetop on 13 July 2015, 04:10:26 pm
5 times in less than half an hour.
"Free?"
Plus 3 missed calls and a voice mail in the same time frame from the same guy demanding to know why I never answer my phone...

Sent back my standard reply "No, im quite expensive" and blocked. Can't stand one word texts or people who think I have no other clients or a life.... Grrr! 

 


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 13 July 2015, 04:17:44 pm
Just had a no show whose excuse was 'I lost track of time, got stuck at work.' Eh?! So he just forgot?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 13 July 2015, 05:38:26 pm
Him:Hi,When can I book you?
Me:Well when do you want to book me?
Him:When you are quiet.
Me:Do you have a time in mind?
Him:Well when you aren't busy.
Me:That's not how it works.You let me know a time and day you would like and I say yay or nay.So when do you want?
Him:I don't know
Me:Well only ring when you do know!
 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 13 July 2015, 07:12:10 pm
Quote from: thehappyhooker on 13 July 2015, 04:10:26 pm
5 times in less than half an hour.
"Free?"
Plus 3 missed calls and a voice mail in the same time frame from the same guy demanding to know why I never answer my phone...

Sent back my standard reply "No, im quite expensive" and blocked. Can't stand one word texts or people who think I have no other clients or a life.... Grrr!

I'd have replied "Nelson Mandela?" but my sarcasm usually just brings back "??" or "Wot?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 13 July 2015, 09:50:37 pm
hahaha kay that did make me properly laugh out loud!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Treetop on 13 July 2015, 10:27:50 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 13 July 2015, 07:12:10 pm
Quote from: thehappyhooker on 13 July 2015, 04:10:26 pm
5 times in less than half an hour.
"Free?"
Plus 3 missed calls and a voice mail in the same time frame from the same guy demanding to know why I never answer my phone...

Sent back my standard reply "No, im quite expensive" and blocked. Can't stand one word texts or people who think I have no other clients or a life.... Grrr!

I'd have replied "Nelson Mandela?" but my sarcasm usually just brings back "??" or "Wot?"


Excellent come back!
Have to try singing that if he calls again...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 14 July 2015, 12:32:51 am
foolishly switched my phone on while chilling on the sofa with the thick of it box set among the usual texts was

"yo, tits.. can i"


i replied (foolishly, thanks malcolm) fuck off you fucking twat before blocking the number!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 14 July 2015, 11:30:21 am
Got asked to do 1 hour of rimming..email was sent through...guess where? Time waster central [aw] sent at 02.26

Emma i am in _____ and i require an hour of rimming if you could do this that would be great. I am squeeky clean and i am all smooth and clean and i like to wear a jockstrap and metal cock ring during the session. The only problem is that my son sits up till late about 3pm i live in a bungalow and i cant do this untill he goes to bed i have to be discreet i hope you understand i like to do this late at night it's more exciting too. I hope you understand the situation. xx

Thank You Kind Regards ... danny xx

They are quite amusing some of these time wasters..have filed his email in my idiots folder  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 14 July 2015, 02:45:07 pm
What's with all the deaf guys who text? I've had a dozen texts off a guy.... The exact same text, in all caps I WANT TO DO SEXY WITH YOU HOW MUCH FOR SEXY WHAT IS YOUR ADDRESS?

I'm sure there are legitimately deaf punters but I only seem to hear from the ones who sound insane.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 14 July 2015, 03:26:32 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 14 July 2015, 02:45:07 pm
What's with all the deaf guys who text? I've had a dozen texts off a guy.... The exact same text, in all caps I WANT TO DO SEXY WITH YOU HOW MUCH FOR SEXY WHAT IS YOUR ADDRESS?

I'm sure there are legitimately deaf punters but I only seem to hear from the ones who sound insane.

I had a reasonable sounding deaf guy texting me last week but no booking as yet! Also a first time punter who actually turned up and seemed believable as a first time punter!!!!!!!!!!!! Never would have thought it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amber_c on 15 July 2015, 12:09:45 pm
Someone responded to my missed call auto reply with this (corrected the spelling):

"I'm so horny I dunno which girl you are so difficult to get a girl. it's easier on street help me out if you're a happy easy going girl I just want to play with you lick you for hour or two been on sniff my dick wont get hard for anyone so I won't be having you unless you're a magician"

Politely informed anyone on drugs will be turned away. I found it a bit funny hahaha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 15 July 2015, 05:07:23 pm
hi
have you done them below
do you do piss fart and poo just want to see it
no sex
no dirty thing
i am 24
Italian
thanks
 how sad !!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sultress000 on 15 July 2015, 06:19:54 pm
Hi xxx, xxx here hope your well would you be interested in coming over for a nights shooting with my .22 riffle iv got it set up perfect now and am having a lot of success rabbit shooting,the field is literally the other side of the stone wall you drove down when you came last we could do a bit in the evening and later in the dark if you want with the lamp,I think you'd enjoy it.
 xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sultress000 on 15 July 2015, 06:21:51 pm
Above message sent from a guy who at our previous(and only) booking asked me to tell him what I would say to the rabbit as I looked at it before pulling the trigger....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kazzle on 15 July 2015, 07:09:18 pm
Quote
Above message sent from a guy who at our previous(and only) booking asked me to tell him what I would say to the rabbit as I looked at it before pulling the trigger....

He sounds seriously creepy!  :o

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 15 July 2015, 10:03:24 pm
Dude: this [my name]?
Me: Yes, I'm next free on Friday at Aldgate.
Dude: i want to see you
Me: Please call to book.
Dude: Whos this?
Me: You asked me if this is [my name], I said yes, then you said you wanted to see me. Do you want to book or not?
Dude: yeah, tomorrow?
Me: I'm not free tomorrow, as I said I'm free on Friday, call to book I'm not a fan of back and forth texting.
Dude: K

Goddamn. What's up with the people who text just to say 'who is this?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 16 July 2015, 08:45:11 am
Quote from: Lucie268 on 15 July 2015, 10:03:24 pm
Dude: this [my name]?
Me: Yes, I'm next free on Friday at Aldgate.
Dude: i want to see you
Me: Please call to book.
Dude: Whos this?
Me: You asked me if this is [my name], I said yes, then you said you wanted to see me. Do you want to book or not?
Dude: yeah, tomorrow?
Me: I'm not free tomorrow, as I said I'm free on Friday, call to book I'm not a fan of back and forth texting.
Dude: K

Goddamn. What's up with the people who text just to say 'who is this?'

Number collectors & guys who don't save our names in their phone so if you take a while to reply they forget who they've contacted. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 16 July 2015, 09:00:50 am
Yes..or they lost track of which bunch of girls they
just called because they didn't answer the phone:
I called one back and arranged he seemed nice but a bit vague:

Me- `You know who I am, right?'
Him- 'No'
Me- 'Why don't you know?'
No- 'I called three people'
Me- 'So you're coming over and you don't know which one I am?'
Him-'Yes...makes it more exciting in a way...(laughs politely)'
Me- 'I can't accept you, this is ridiculous'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ShaylaF on 16 July 2015, 03:24:04 pm
"Do you do couples?"
--"Yes, sure. Can I speak to her?"
"She's in the shower right now."
--"Okay, call me back when I can speak to the both of you."
"Okay will do. Another question?"
--"Shoot."
"My partner, she's my older sister, is---"
-- *hangs up*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sultress000 on 16 July 2015, 04:58:41 pm
A booking arranged for later.. Told him where I am on tour and get this:
"All right. I was wondering what to say to the staff at the reception. Shall I just tell them I have to go at room number x? That's it?"

I mean wtf?!!   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 16 July 2015, 08:58:13 pm
Me; "Sorry I missed your call earlier, would you like to make a booking?"
Him; "What one are you, I phoned a few"
 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 16 July 2015, 10:20:55 pm
txt message..

I like feet, really cheesy ones.. and piss...

 :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ms.Charlie on 16 July 2015, 10:35:51 pm
"Hello

Are you real?

Cheers

Andy x"


I.. what?  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 17 July 2015, 02:40:03 am
Quote from: Ms.Charlie on 16 July 2015, 10:35:51 pm
"Hello

Are you real?

Cheers

Andy x"


I.. what?  ???

"No, I'm just a figment of your imagination..."

;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 17 July 2015, 09:05:43 am
Quote from: Erotic Flower on 15 July 2015, 05:07:23 pm
hi
have you done them below
do you do piss fart and poo just want to see it
no sex
no dirty thing
i am 24
Italian
thanks
 how sad !!!!!

I got that text - or one very similar - over a year ago. I remember especially "no dirty thing" after talk about watching me poo.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 17 July 2015, 10:41:25 am
Quote from: Fabulassie on 17 July 2015, 09:05:43 am
Quote from: Erotic Flower on 15 July 2015, 05:07:23 pm
hi
have you done them below
do you do piss fart and poo just want to see it
no sex
no dirty thing
i am 24
Italian
thanks
 how sad !!!!!

I got that text - or one very similar - over a year ago. I remember especially "no dirty thing" after talk about watching me poo.
I had the exact same thing including the no dirty thing but via email.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 17 July 2015, 10:52:19 am
Maybe I got it in an email.

But he's been at it a long time!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 17 July 2015, 10:53:54 am
Snap! I was mailed by Peepoo couple months ago.
He must send out zillions.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Secret-Whore on 17 July 2015, 01:55:28 pm
I got an email from an idiot 'curious to discover the body of a black woman. Ignoring the strange othering of my race, I responded with my free days as requested. After checking that I'm 'completely disease and infection free' he sends me this in response to me asking when he wants to set up a meeting for:
'This could be seen as an unnecessary expense. Why should I pick you? What makes you special?'

Erm, he fucking messaged me and asked to meet me? I didn't respond to an RB or beg him to meet me. Cunt and a half. I responded quite rudely although I shouldn't have :/
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 17 July 2015, 03:55:46 pm
Quote from: Secret-Whore on 17 July 2015, 01:55:28 pm
I got an email from an idiot 'curious to discover the body of a black woman. Ignoring the strange othering of my race, I responded with my free days as requested. After checking that I'm 'completely disease and infection free' he sends me this in response to me asking when he wants to set up a meeting for:
'This could be seen as an unnecessary expense. Why should I pick you? What makes you special?'

Erm, he fucking messaged me and asked to meet me? I didn't respond to an RB or beg him to meet me. Cunt and a half. I responded quite rudely although I shouldn't have :/

Ewwwwwwwww. I hate all the weird stuff men say in regards to my race e.g. 'I really want to fuck an Asian girl tonight' lol wow good for you. 'Discover the body of a black woman' like... it's a land to be conquered.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lou2015 on 17 July 2015, 06:17:40 pm

?? Really not sure what to think of this one .... I certainly wouldn't be arse to travel to Northampton.

 I'm sure a good many of us have received this !!


Hello miss

my name is ???? and i am 31 years old indian male (british born) and am a dentist. Due to my studies at university, training and work i have had little time for erotic enounters so have emailed yourself

im going to be honest i believe in no sex before marriage but obviously have urges so im really looking for someone to trust to help me till then

im looking to do lots of owo deepthroat and deepfrench kissing having a really fun time

also could you wear something of my taste

i live in northampton just 40minutes direct train from euston and just 2 minutes from junction 15 off m1 and looking for an outcall to my residence for monday morning please

please do txt me incase im with family my number is ???????????

i hope i have been polite and well mannered in this email however if i have done anything to offend you in this email then please do accept my apologies

hope to hear from you soon

yours sincerely
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 17 July 2015, 06:38:34 pm
Quote
We are shooting a porn movie and we are looking for an escort who can play a role in our porn movie that we are shooting. We will pay you ?9,400 up front and the other ?9,400 you will get it when the porn movie is finished. But first we will need to interview you for the role after the interview the next day you will be doing the porn movie role. Depending on the things you can do the more money you will get paid.


Someone wants a freebie with all the trimmings!

...Perhaps this should be a warning too?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 17 July 2015, 08:54:12 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 17 July 2015, 10:41:25 am
Quote from: Fabulassie on 17 July 2015, 09:05:43 am
Quote from: Erotic Flower on 15 July 2015, 05:07:23 pm
hi
have you done them below
do you do piss fart and poo just want to see it
no sex
no dirty thing
i am 24
Italian
thanks
 how sad !!!!!

I got that text - or one very similar - over a year ago. I remember especially "no dirty thing" after talk about watching me poo.
I had the exact same thing including the no dirty thing but via email.

I've had the no dirty thing one by text and in an email.

*looks smug*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Secret-Whore on 17 July 2015, 09:17:00 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 17 July 2015, 03:55:46 pm
Quote from: Secret-Whore on 17 July 2015, 01:55:28 pm
I got an email from an idiot 'curious to discover the body of a black woman. Ignoring the strange othering of my race, I responded with my free days as requested. After checking that I'm 'completely disease and infection free' he sends me this in response to me asking when he wants to set up a meeting for:
'This could be seen as an unnecessary expense. Why should I pick you? What makes you special?'

Erm, he fucking messaged me and asked to meet me? I didn't respond to an RB or beg him to meet me. Cunt and a half. I responded quite rudely although I shouldn't have :/

Ewwwwwwwww. I hate all the weird stuff men say in regards to my race e.g. 'I really want to fuck an Asian girl tonight' lol wow good for you. 'Discover the body of a black woman' like... it's a land to be conquered.

Exactly! It makes my skin crawl. 'I've never been with a black/Asian woman'. It's exactly the same! We have two breasts and a vagina too. It's just latent racism making it feel different.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 18 July 2015, 12:09:59 am
Text today, paraphrased: "Can I spit on your face for 30 minutes. No sex."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 18 July 2015, 10:12:58 am
Best message ever today "Weird tattoo you'd be quite fit without it". Charming!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foxy roxy on 18 July 2015, 12:04:14 pm
Quote from: Secret-Whore on 17 July 2015, 01:55:28 pm
I got an email from an idiot 'curious to discover the body of a black woman. Ignoring the strange othering of my race, I responded with my free days as requested. After checking that I'm 'completely disease and infection free' he sends me this in response to me asking when he wants to set up a meeting for:
'This could be seen as an unnecessary expense. Why should I pick you? What makes you special?'

Erm, he fucking messaged me and asked to meet me? I didn't respond to an RB or beg him to meet me. Cunt and a half. I responded quite rudely although I shouldn't have :/

I'm not a mysterious black or asian beauty ( cringe) but I am an 'older woman' and get this type of thing often. Not sure exactly how they expect me to reply when they proudly announce that they want to 'experience' an older wonam, or worse still, 'try' an older woman. I'm always tempted to say Congratulations sunny Jim, you hit the jackpot lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 18 July 2015, 12:22:43 pm
"POS CODE"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 18 July 2015, 01:27:21 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 18 July 2015, 12:22:43 pm
"POS CODE"

hahahahahahahahahaaaa
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 18 July 2015, 01:29:04 pm
Quote from: foxy roxy on 18 July 2015, 12:04:14 pm
Quote from: Secret-Whore on 17 July 2015, 01:55:28 pm
I got an email from an idiot 'curious to discover the body of a black woman. Ignoring the strange othering of my race, I responded with my free days as requested. After checking that I'm 'completely disease and infection free' he sends me this in response to me asking when he wants to set up a meeting for:
'This could be seen as an unnecessary expense. Why should I pick you? What makes you special?'

Erm, he fucking messaged me and asked to meet me? I didn't respond to an RB or beg him to meet me. Cunt and a half. I responded quite rudely although I shouldn't have :/

I'm not a mysterious black or asian beauty ( cringe) but I am an 'older woman' and get this type of thing often. Not sure exactly how they expect me to reply when they proudly announce that they want to 'experience' an older wonam, or worse still, 'try' an older woman. I'm always tempted to say Congratulations sunny Jim, you hit the jackpot lol.

I think when guys say 'I want to fuck a [whatever] woman' they reckon it's a compliment. Sorry man, just plain old racism and ageism there.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 18 July 2015, 01:33:01 pm
I like it when they say they want to fuck an older woman. ;D
I accept the compliment with an open purse. ;)

Clients are entitled to be honest about their preferences.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foxy roxy on 18 July 2015, 02:05:00 pm
Quote from: cheesypeas on 18 July 2015, 01:33:01 pm
I like it when they say they want to fuck an older woman. ;D
I accept the compliment with an open purse. ;)

Clients are entitled to be honest about their preferences.
They sure are, but if they are contacting an older woman, isn't it already obvious thats what they want? They're not exactly gonna contact me, an older female, if they are looking for a young male escort..........then again, with this lot who knows  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 18 July 2015, 06:23:36 pm
Quote from: cheesypeas on 18 July 2015, 01:33:01 pm
I like it when they say they want to fuck an older woman. ;D
I accept the compliment with an open purse. ;)

Clients are entitled to be honest about their preferences.

Sure, but not to the point of opening their correspondence with it. I definitely think it's gross when guys tell me their preference for Asian girls.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sensualmilf on 19 July 2015, 10:06:07 am
Just picked up the phone and he asked if I was available, IMMEDIATELY followed by that ominous slapping sound of 'beating the gopher' and I am just cracking up laughing.

Who said this job wasn't THE best comedy going sometimes.  ;D

Delighted his Sunday morning wank is sorted. I must look better in those pics than I thought I did  ;D (At least I prefer that option to being 'I'm the only silly bitch to answer the phone before 10am on a Sunday!)  :-X

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 19 July 2015, 10:27:27 am
Quote from: KayHerts on 18 July 2015, 12:09:59 am
Text today, paraphrased: "Can I spit on your face for 30 minutes. No sex."

I've had that one!

(Just in case you were feeling special. ;) )
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 19 July 2015, 10:29:04 am
Quote from: foxy roxy on 18 July 2015, 12:04:14 pm
Quote from: Secret-Whore on 17 July 2015, 01:55:28 pm
I got an email from an idiot 'curious to discover the body of a black woman. Ignoring the strange othering of my race, I responded with my free days as requested. After checking that I'm 'completely disease and infection free' he sends me this in response to me asking when he wants to set up a meeting for:
'This could be seen as an unnecessary expense. Why should I pick you? What makes you special?'

Erm, he fucking messaged me and asked to meet me? I didn't respond to an RB or beg him to meet me. Cunt and a half. I responded quite rudely although I shouldn't have :/

I'm not a mysterious black or asian beauty ( cringe) but I am an 'older woman' and get this type of thing often. Not sure exactly how they expect me to reply when they proudly announce that they want to 'experience' an older wonam, or worse still, 'try' an older woman. I'm always tempted to say Congratulations sunny Jim, you hit the jackpot lol.

Although white, I am another nationality so I get both of those and I fucking hate it. Just last week it was "I really want to try an older woman and I've never fucked an XYZ-ian before."

I just replied, "Well, you're not fucking this one, either."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimberly-x on 19 July 2015, 12:32:07 pm
after he calls to book

Him- is there anyway i can see your face?
me- in my private gallery on AW
him- is there any other way
me -your coming to see me
him- But what if i dont like your face
me - do you like my body
him- yes but i can only see one picture (i have 3 ) and its not a very good one

i was then rude and told him to piss off
then he has the cheek to say can i still come
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 19 July 2015, 02:25:03 pm
Email today;
Please send me some interesting pics, and a brief resume of what you offer.
No name.

Just like all of you my profile, adds and web site has all that info.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 19 July 2015, 02:30:37 pm
Text: 'Spunk eater?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sensualmilf on 19 July 2015, 05:18:35 pm
Text:

'Hello this is my first escort meet ever. I recently tried this before and it turned out to be a guy who met me so have been cautious to try this again. Do you have any way to verify your real..
Maybe Instagram? x'

I suppose AW passport verification isn't good enough for some. Do you need to give a DNA sample for Instagram??  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimberly-x on 19 July 2015, 10:20:05 pm
Quote from: sensualmilf on 19 July 2015, 05:18:35 pm
Text:

'Hello this is my first escort meet ever. I recently tried this before and it turned out to be a guy who met me so have been cautious to try this again. Do you have any way to verify your real..
Maybe Instagram? x'

I suppose AW passport verification isn't good enough for some. Do you need to give a DNA sample for Instagram??  :-X

just after free pictures like my client
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 19 July 2015, 10:57:56 pm
Send him a dick pic!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sensualmilf on 19 July 2015, 11:11:16 pm
Lol, I'm tempted  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Usernamechanged on 20 July 2015, 07:21:06 pm
Message on AW today:

Subject: pubes
Body: ginger pubed vagaina and avail tom eve?

How's about no?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 July 2015, 08:25:20 pm
Him:Can I have some details please? ::)
Me:What details do you want?
Him:Well describe yourself and what you look like and what's your bra size.
Me:The advert on the internet you got this number from will have pictures and my description on won't it?
Him:Well yeah so do you have any uniforms?
Me:You supposedly know feck all about me or even what I look like but you want me to wear a uniform for your imaginary booking?
Him:Er..m
Me:Phone goes down.

So fedup of calls like this today along with guys asking if I'll do anal because they have a small cock!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimberly-x on 20 July 2015, 08:31:05 pm
him- do you do bare back?
me- NO! I value my health
him- obviously not as you do this ( Escorting )

I didn't even reply but seriously is that what clients think?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rubyruby on 20 July 2015, 08:34:53 pm
Quote from: Kimberly-x on 20 July 2015, 08:31:05 pm
him- do you do bare back?
me- NO! I value my health
him- obviously not as you do this ( Escorting )

I didn't even reply but seriously is that what clients think?

Standard slut shaming when they don't like what they hear
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimberly-x on 20 July 2015, 08:39:49 pm
men are gross and i have a man bless him he hears all my rants haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 July 2015, 08:42:46 pm
Same as when you refuse a booking and they say stuff like 'Well I wouldn't want to feck a fat bitch like you anyway!'
Well my love clearly you did.... ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimberly-x on 20 July 2015, 08:55:22 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 20 July 2015, 08:42:46 pm
Same as when you refuse a booking and they say stuff like 'Well I wouldn't want to feck a fat bitch like you anyway!'
Well my love clearly you did.... ;D

 :o what a dick
men do not like their pride hurt especially cause we make more money than them  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 20 July 2015, 09:38:40 pm
Quote from: Kimberly-x on 20 July 2015, 08:55:22 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 20 July 2015, 08:42:46 pm
Same as when you refuse a booking and they say stuff like 'Well I wouldn't want to feck a fat bitch like you anyway!'
Well my love clearly you did.... ;D

 :o what a dick
men do not like their pride hurt especially cause we make more money than them  ;D
I had one similar this morning, I told him to go and read my advert and call me back if he still wanted to see me. So he text and said sorry he'd rang the wrong escort as I was an old lady! So he's an idiot who can't read or even ring the right escort. Then he rang again this evening...I didn't answer.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sultress000 on 20 July 2015, 09:56:02 pm
-----------------------------------------------------------------
hey boo
just wanted to inquire about a meet up, i was wondering if you do any racial play style "fetish"? the type of racial play im interested in is dirty talk using the N word, for example saying things like "fuck me nigger, i want your big nigger cock" blah blah blah you get the idea? i am 26 black male from Miami living in London on a soccer scholarship.

thanks for your time
Xxxx
-------------------------------------------

Cant imagine doing this booking, especially in a hotel room!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 20 July 2015, 10:03:30 pm
Yes! It's what he likes lol  ;)
Make his day.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 21 July 2015, 05:54:58 pm
When I said I wouldn't let someone do something weird to me once (no sex... can't remember what it was now). He said something about me being willing to let strangers fuck my pussy but not do what he wanted when it wasn't sex. I replied 'and that is why I said no' and hung up lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 21 July 2015, 06:58:40 pm
Quote from: sultress000 on 20 July 2015, 09:56:02 pm
-----------------------------------------------------------------
hey boo
just wanted to inquire about a meet up, i was wondering if you do any racial play style "fetish"? the type of racial play im interested in is dirty talk using the N word, for example saying things like "fuck me nigger, i want your big nigger cock" blah blah blah you get the idea? i am 26 black male from Miami living in London on a soccer scholarship.

thanks for your time
Xxxx
-------------------------------------------

Cant imagine doing this booking, especially in a hotel room!

I used to see a client like this years ago. A very nice man and he was sort of quiet and withdrawn at first, then he'd encourage you to say such things until you got the hint and it would be all "Yeah, fuck me with your big black nigger cock!" and then he'd come and be just the happiest, smilingest guy ever.

But it was not easy to do.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 21 July 2015, 10:19:29 pm
hello id like to book you do you take card payments?

Response-  yh sure just send it to my bank account when the booking is done ::)



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tinkerbell on 22 July 2015, 06:49:13 am
Just woke up to this....

'70 quid anal bareback babe.' Thats all it says. I assume it's a question. Lucky girl arent I?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 22 July 2015, 09:13:56 am
Quote from: Blossoming Tree on 22 July 2015, 06:49:13 am
Just woke up to this....

'70 quid anal bareback babe.' Thats all it says. I assume it's a question. Lucky girl arent I?
AW message? I've had that idiot so many times. So blocked!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 22 July 2015, 01:44:56 pm
Quote from: Blossoming Tree on 22 July 2015, 06:49:13 am
Just woke up to this....

'70 quid anal bareback babe.' Thats all it says. I assume it's a question. Lucky girl arent I?

"Sure, that sounds like a bargain. I have a nice big dildo that will look amazing in your arse. When do you want it?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jenny 2 on 22 July 2015, 01:55:10 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 22 July 2015, 01:44:56 pm
Quote from: Blossoming Tree on 22 July 2015, 06:49:13 am
Just woke up to this....

'70 quid anal bareback babe.' Thats all it says. I assume it's a question. Lucky girl arent I?

"Sure, that sounds like a bargain. I have a nice big dildo that will look amazing in your arse. When do you want it?"

OMG!  I might use that one LOL - nothing beats our humour sometimes girls and Lord knows we need it! 


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss-M on 22 July 2015, 04:01:17 pm
Had this one this morning and literally just put the phone down to this one also!

Morning one....

Hi checked all your website and I know you don't do sex, but I'm clean, so how much just for a f**k?

Just now.....

Him; hi
Me; hi
Him; you working today?
Me; yes, what time you want?
Him; in about an hour and full sex
Me; you need an escort for that I'm not an escort!
Him; then f**k off you slag

I put the phone down on him.....wish I'd of booked him now, such a charmer....plus don't think he would like what I would do to him!

They always come out in the school holidays! Just wish people would read my site!  :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sensualmilf on 22 July 2015, 11:50:50 pm
My free trial ad has just gone live on VS and I get this e mail:

i like you
i whant mary
100 pointi for you i like your ass

I mean WTF! Never mind the atrocious grammar. Plus a phone call asking 'Did I have a friend' when I said I wasn't available, which drives me NUTS!  :FF

If this is the calibre of client the free trial will be it! Groan (loudly!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 23 July 2015, 08:01:44 pm
Me: Hi, sorry I just missed your call. Could you call back in about 15 minutes?
Him: Your name?
Me: You don't know who you called? This is [my name].
Him: Called a few love. Not gonna start remembering slags just by their numbers now am I

I wish these guys had to pass a misogyny-gauging test before they can view my number. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 23 July 2015, 09:13:45 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 23 July 2015, 08:01:44 pm
Me: Hi, sorry I just missed your call. Could you call back in about 15 minutes?
Him: Your name?
Me: You don't know who you called? This is [my name].
Him: Called a few love. Not gonna start remembering slags just by their numbers now am I

I wish these guys had to pass a misogyny-gauging test before they can view my number.

You'd really think people willing to spend ?100+ would actually inform themselves about who they're going to spend it on. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 23 July 2015, 09:48:10 pm
Quote from: victoryrose on 23 July 2015, 09:13:45 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 23 July 2015, 08:01:44 pm
Me: Hi, sorry I just missed your call. Could you call back in about 15 minutes?
Him: Your name?
Me: You don't know who you called? This is [my name].
Him: Called a few love. Not gonna start remembering slags just by their numbers now am I

I wish these guys had to pass a misogyny-gauging test before they can view my number.

You'd really think people willing to spend ?100+ would actually inform themselves about who they're going to spend it on. ::)

Exactly what I think! The guys who call saying 'my friend gave me your number'  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 24 July 2015, 10:50:09 am
I am e-mailing further to having recently registered on Adultwork Website.
Hence new to this site.

I am a clean young Pakistani guy in his early 30s who runs his own business in London and seeking to fulfil his sexual desires with the right girl

I joined soley for the purposes of finding a true completely open minded Pakistani and/or Indian/Asian Escort with whom I could meet with on a regular long term basis and fulfil our mutual desires.

My proposed bookings with you will tend to be the longer ones - i.e. 2-3 day and night week day or long weekend bookings in
West End (Mayfair/Knightsbridge) London Hotel

(I noticed on your page you state incall for overnight ? Maybe we can discuss so your comfortable becuase i reguarly stay in a lovely Mayfair or Knightsbridge hotel)

I have reviewed your profile page. You are gorgeous and from what i can see have a nice pair of tits and those legs. Wow!!!! I also really like your hairstyle. Looks hot.

I have read your page and "enjoys" list and I am glad to say we are very much on the same page in terms of your likes as it is everything im looking for.

I look forward to experiencing all of them with you in time hopefully.

I really do have a filthy and dirty sexual mind and desires which I hope we can fulfil together. For me this includes a combination of
domination and submissive roles

Over a long stay and on a regular basis with you Some of the role plays i would like us to fulfill are :

1. Brother and Submissive sister affair
2. Submissive wife audition
3. Strict Mother and son relationship
4. Strict Father and submissive daughter
5. Sex Slave
6. Submissive girlfriend
7. Schoolgirl
8. Secretary
9. Hard and watersports

Just an idea of the type clothes I want you to wear and I would like to take you shopping to purchase what you do not have make a day of it

1. Tight fitting asian suit
2.Tight fitting asian sari
3. Stocking, suspenders, garder belt and tights
4. Fishnet tights
5. Pantyhose which can be ripped open
6. Skin tight leggings
7. Riding jodpurs if you have them
8. Short summer dress - see through to shown your bra and knickers
9. Tight tank/crop trops - really tight round your titsand nipples and short to show stomach and back
10. Low cut tops
11. See through tops to show your bra
12. School girl outfit
13. pencil skirt tight
14. Skin skinny tight leather/PVC trousers
15. Lace knickers and bra
16. Ripped Skinny jeans
17. Wedding make up
18. High Heels

Toys

18. Fetish outfits
19. Whips
20. Gag ball
21.Anal beads
22. But Plug
23. Strapon
24. Hardsports and watersports by you


Over a few days stay I am proposing obviously to enjoy our time in the bedroom goes without saying but also in public I would like to make a day of it, go out shopping buy you clothes , also to some sex and fetish shops to buy some bits

But in public I just want you to be a Slutty GFE, S when your with me who knows how to dress to turn heads on the streets and put other asian girls to shame wearling tight and revealing clothes

I hope this has got your attention

Maybe we can have an introductory call on Friday and then plan for the new week

I look forward to hearing from you

Regards

Umar XXX
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 24 July 2015, 05:47:10 pm
I didn't reply quick enough to an email on  my day off this was the response I  received.
Can't you be bothered to send your number to me why do you ignore my email?
It's rude not to reply !!!!
I can't even be bothered email him back stupid impatient man.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 24 July 2015, 06:55:54 pm
Tonight's freeloading timewaster:

"Hi babe love your profile!! How r u today? X"
"Hi, I'm good thanks, did you wish to make a booking? x"
"Was hoping u would watch me fuck my own tight arse hole!"  ???
"I can be in directcam on Adultwork soon or did you want an escort booking? x"
"U not got iPad or iPhone I can FaceTime u while I get off? Not expecting. Anything off u"  ::)

No, just my time and an image I'll probably never get out of my head  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sensualmilf on 25 July 2015, 04:16:08 pm
If just one more client asks me if I have friend, I am going to fucking SCREAM!!

My answer is, 'We don't work as a troupe!'

(I'm not working until next week so they obviously can't read either!!) Growl   :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 26 July 2015, 09:40:57 am
Ooh that one SM, I often reply with something along the lines of 'yes I have friends but they aren't prostitutes, not sure about John" ;D

I do sometimes get 'how many girls do you have?', none of my ads imply or even suggest I am an agency or brothel.

Latest one has been someone phoning through the night who apparently did see me a year or two ago, when I did answer at 6.30am because I do rise early, he explained he'd called late at night once and I'd advised him to phone earlier in the day. I suppose his missed call at both 3am and 4am is earlier than 10pm. ::). Suppose he was trying, however 6.30am and 'now' isn't going to happen, I also don't see clients who are hungover which from the things he told me he definitely was.

Another weekend casualty has been a man who always phones last minute when I'm booked/notworking/he can't provide the screening details, ranting on yesterday about what a nice man he is, do I not know who he is?"Where are you?" was his barked opening greeting. He went on to tell me that has lots of cash implying importance and when I wouldn't give him my address(I don't offer incalls) said he could track me down in seconds. He carried on shouting at me repeatedly in a drunken manner - he did admit to having had a few and I could hear more being poured in the background. "Where are you?" were his barked opening wordings. I turned my phone off after a second rambling, demanding, ranting call from him. He left me voicemails continuing to tell me that he's a such a nice man.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sensualmilf on 26 July 2015, 10:31:01 am
Mirror, I use Phone Warrior which you can download from Playstore and then you can block twats like him. You just tap the icon and it brings up all received calls. You select the one you want to block and 'hey presto!'

He can still leave a voicemail message but he will never get through directly.

I wish someone would invent an app specifically for prossies to block these arseholes  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 26 July 2015, 12:27:19 pm
Thanks I have had call and text blocker software for many years. I do use it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 26 July 2015, 01:56:29 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 24 July 2015, 10:50:09 am
I am e-mailing further to having recently registered on Adultwork Website.
Hence new to this site.

I am a clean young Pakistani guy in his early 30s who runs his own business in London and seeking to fulfil his sexual desires with the right girl

I joined soley for the purposes of finding a true completely open minded Pakistani and/or Indian/Asian Escort with whom I could meet with on a regular long term basis and fulfil our mutual desires.

My proposed bookings with you will tend to be the longer ones - i.e. 2-3 day and night week day or long weekend bookings in
West End (Mayfair/Knightsbridge) London Hotel

(I noticed on your page you state incall for overnight ? Maybe we can discuss so your comfortable becuase i reguarly stay in a lovely Mayfair or Knightsbridge hotel)

I have reviewed your profile page. You are gorgeous and from what i can see have a nice pair of tits and those legs. Wow!!!! I also really like your hairstyle. Looks hot.

I have read your page and "enjoys" list and I am glad to say we are very much on the same page in terms of your likes as it is everything im looking for.

I look forward to experiencing all of them with you in time hopefully.

I really do have a filthy and dirty sexual mind and desires which I hope we can fulfil together. For me this includes a combination of
domination and submissive roles

Over a long stay and on a regular basis with you Some of the role plays i would like us to fulfill are :

1. Brother and Submissive sister affair
2. Submissive wife audition
3. Strict Mother and son relationship
4. Strict Father and submissive daughter
5. Sex Slave
6. Submissive girlfriend
7. Schoolgirl
8. Secretary
9. Hard and watersports

Just an idea of the type clothes I want you to wear and I would like to take you shopping to purchase what you do not have make a day of it

1. Tight fitting asian suit
2.Tight fitting asian sari
3. Stocking, suspenders, garder belt and tights
4. Fishnet tights
5. Pantyhose which can be ripped open
6. Skin tight leggings
7. Riding jodpurs if you have them
8. Short summer dress - see through to shown your bra and knickers
9. Tight tank/crop trops - really tight round your titsand nipples and short to show stomach and back
10. Low cut tops
11. See through tops to show your bra
12. School girl outfit
13. pencil skirt tight
14. Skin skinny tight leather/PVC trousers
15. Lace knickers and bra
16. Ripped Skinny jeans
17. Wedding make up
18. High Heels

Toys

18. Fetish outfits
19. Whips
20. Gag ball
21.Anal beads
22. But Plug
23. Strapon
24. Hardsports and watersports by you


Over a few days stay I am proposing obviously to enjoy our time in the bedroom goes without saying but also in public I would like to make a day of it, go out shopping buy you clothes , also to some sex and fetish shops to buy some bits

But in public I just want you to be a Slutty GFE, S when your with me who knows how to dress to turn heads on the streets and put other asian girls to shame wearling tight and revealing clothes

I hope this has got your attention

Maybe we can have an introductory call on Friday and then plan for the new week

I look forward to hearing from you

Regards

Umar XXX

I managed to read this entirely but if someone sent this to me I would have instantly deleted it without reading. lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 26 July 2015, 09:53:14 pm
Quote from: AliceRed on 10 June 2015, 12:37:30 pm
I'm Manchester-based, not sure what the postcode for the RB is as he just messaged me the whole thing. I suggest settling in with a glass of wine before reading.  :P  Like, bloody hell love, half the appeal of this job is being self-employed.

Quote
Hello. I've decided to update my reverse booking as I don't feel certain parts of it were clear enough nor did I really ask the right questions or enough. There are a few subtle changes throughout and it's probably best you read through again to make sure that you are happy with them, if this is the first time you've seen this, then don't worry about all that, keep reading and hopefully this is for you. I've been really busy over the last few weeks with work so really haven't had the chance too see anyone so I thought it was unfair too start until i'm ready to commit as much time to this as yourself.

Summary: Salary ?7700 + ?35000 allowance + perks (transport, accommodation, surgery)

Thank you for taking the time to read this and hopefully you're happy being the girl who joins me on this fantastic journey. This is going to be a long read, so please make sure you read the entire thing before responding. If you aren't happy with anything or would like to tweak things slightly please feel free to contact me also as I can be quite flexible to a certain extent for the right girl.

I'll start with a brief summary and then hopefully be able to answer most of your questions as we continue, of course if you do have any questions at the end feel free to message me. However hopefully you feel confident enough in what you have read to bid and we can take this journey together.

This would be an exclusive arrangement between us, in very simple terms I pay you an amount of money each month, of course with a few bonuses that I shall explain later and in return you see me as often as you can and only me. The base salary would be ?7700 per month, with an allowance of up too ?35000, this will be explained in more detail later :)

What I'm looking for is a girl who is ideally under 35, somebody who doesn't take life too seriously, who's trust worthy and who understands that things that make you happy are worth the effort. I'm not looking for a certain size or shape, I'm just looking for somebody who is happy to make the effort and can have a great time with both in and out of the bedroom. Somebody who's open and honest with me and understands that this job is not just to keep me happy but too enjoy yourself as well. I don't want a girl who's catch phrase is "whatever you want" I'd much rather somebody who has some idea of the things that make them happy and isn't scared to act on it.

I understand at first it may be a little confusing why I would be offering what's essentially a lot of money for this, however I'm not looking for a bargain price, I'm looking too make the girl's life who's going on this journey with me better wherever I can. I'm a very firm believer that a happy, more relaxed girl is a far better lover and company, I find most girls are a lot happier when they are not only debt free but wearing things they love and don't have to worry about the next job or how they will cope if anything unexpected comes up, or maybe it's because you can just slow the pace down and enjoy the little things more.

So I should probably at this point talk about myself, I'm in my early 30s and have made my money initially in property but primarily in the IT sector as a consultant after selling my company a few years ago. I'm a very laid back, honest and open person, who after a nasty divorce and lots of changes in my life is trying to find a girl who's fun to be around and spend time with. Without the fuss and guessing game that comes from a normal relationship. This is one of the many reasons I have chosen AW to try and find the right person, as I don't want a girl just looking for a free meal, I'm looking for somebody who wants to enjoy every aspect that this and I have too offer.

Somebody who understands that her job is not just too have sex with me but too make yourself happy too, I'm always going to choose the girl who visibly makes an effort for me. The type of girl who always makes sure she looks her best around me, who gives more than one word answers, who gets that this arrangement is about more than just you or me, it's about the both of us. Hopefully that's you! In regards to my sexual requirements, I'm not looking for anything too crazy, I am very talented in the bedroom as I'm sure you can see from my feedback and like to spoil a girl.

Right, now too the maths bit, you will be paid a base salary of ?7700 a month, this is your money to do what you want with (I'd suggest you save what's left after bills) and will be paid at the start of our arrangement and then every month after that until we decide to end it. You will also be entitled to an allowance, which a few restrictions, of ?35000 a month, this is to be spent on ?stuff? the salary will be paid into your account at the start of the month and the allowance will be a bank card which I shall top up. The allowance is for pretty much anything you wish, clothes, shoes, tech, travel, holidays, spa days, showing off to your friends etc.

Although I would ask that you spend a least some of it on treating yourself, weather it be clothes or shoes or watches or video games, whatever your poison, as the entire purpose of this is to make us both happier people. I know money doesn't buy happiness but it's amazing how much easier the sadness is to shed when you have shiny things to distract you. The more reasons you can give a girl too like seeing you the better I think, so if there is anything that would just make this even better for you please let me know.

In regards too how long we see each other for I would suggest that when we meet to see how we get on ahead of starting, we will need to meet before agreeing to go ahead, as you really can't tell how you get on with somebody until you're in the same room, especially for the sorts of things that we would be doing. Anyway, I think the best thing is that we decide to commit to either 3 or 6 months, 3 months being the ideal minimum. Then at the end of the period we can sit down and talk and of course either extend our time together or end things. Hopefully we see each other for a long time! I don't have a specific starting date in mind, just when we're both ready :)

The few exceptions too the allowance I can think, these are the things you are not allowed to spend your allowance on:
- Vehicles and accommodation, because this essentially a contract that could last anywhere from 3 months too 3 years, or maybe even longer, it would be best that if you are looking for accommodation closer too me, or a nicer car to get too me or around the place that you let me take care off that, as then you won't be tied into any agreements or be responsible for any payments on those things. This is all completely optional!
- Bills and debts, this can come from your salary but the purpose of the allowance is to treat yourself, not to cover the basics
Getting any work done, surgery or dental work, etc. Most of these types of things require a recovery time where you would be unable too travel or would hinder other physical activities. So I would suggest that if you did want anything done, that we decide on a 6 month minimum term. I'm happy to pay for any work to be done up front so you start feeling you're absolute best, as long as we see each other a few times before hand. Then after your recovery time we can properly our agreement.
- Topping up your salary, the allowance is not for you too keep, it is to spend on ?stuff? not to pad out your bank account

I imagine you're wondering why not just give you all the money in cash, there are a few reasons for this, mostly to do with tax and that the card I will give you in order to use your allowance itself comes with certain perks such as complimentary hotel and travel upgrades. It's also I'd imagine has a much higher limit than your current card so wouldn't limit you spending it on things you love.

I am very happy to provide proof that I have the money and am happy to do this, should after you respond I feel that you are as serious as I am about all this :)

In regards to what is required from you in the short term, if you bid or message me saying you are interested in doing this with me then I shall send you the form, (which I have updated), you will be also expected to take and email specified sets of photos to myself. I can assure you that this data will be kept safe and secure and will be for my eyes only. Next is that should after filling out the form and sending the photos and talking too me then we need to meet up so that we can see how we get on and of course then we can both decide if we want to go ahead.

In regards too holiday, you can have one week off within every three month period and I would also insist that you treat yourself too a spa day and get pampered, to ensure you always feel your best at least once a month. When I say holiday, I mean holiday from this job, I would hope that we can take as many holidays together as possible.

I've had far too many girls in the past who clearly been too blinded by the few hundred pounds they would potentially loose out on, as well as not understand that this is not just a one off booking. That it is us both finding out if we are compatible enough to go ahead. Due to that us meeting before going ahead will not be paid for. I'm aware that may put some people off, however I know that the girls who actually want to do this would be willing to put in the effort and see me on there own time. I can't say I've every been paid to go to an interview and just because you're pretty doesn't mean I will you. I understand that there are time wasters on this site and a number of girls who are jealous they haven't made the cut or simply put no effort in have called me just that. However it is very far from the truth and I hope you can see from the effort I've put into this as well as the fact that I am willing to show that I have the finances to do this long term that you will join me.

I won't be seeing just anybody, and the girl I like the most I shall see first, I will see somebody else only on the basis that things don't work out between us for whatever reason. So that I know you have read this, as I intend to pay whoever I select the amount suggested please put 7777 in the either the comment box or the price box.

Looking forward to meeting you :) x
WTF? if anyone send me an email as long as this i will delete without reading. just the length of it would put me off as it instantly screams time waster. In the bin as quick as that
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 27 July 2015, 10:17:38 am
I just threw up in my mouth a little  ::) ::) after getting this little charmer.

XX XXX u have been a bad girl and im going to have to spank yr bottom! u will have to suck my big cock and drink my cum as punishment! msg me baby;)
Baz xxx
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ms.Charlie on 27 July 2015, 11:07:17 am
Conversation via AW:

Twat: Hiya, you are very sexy.

Charlie: Thank you :) Would you like to make a booking? xx

Twat: Love too, but little bit to high for me I'm afraid.

Twat: If you need my services, google 'clean pros' I will work free for you if you wear something sexy :) hehe



To be honest, it's the little 'hehe' at the end that I find the most upsetting.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 27 July 2015, 06:20:05 pm
Hi I want to meet tonight at my hotel. But I want really to do cocaine with you. Have incredible cocaine and just want someone to do it with. Can we sort that out? What sort of cost would that be. Many thanks x

fuck off  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 28 July 2015, 06:47:41 am
Received this morning at 4am. Phone was off as I was asleep but think I should not miss this charmer

Oi. Up?  Wanna fuck?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 28 July 2015, 09:37:25 am
At 23.35 phone was off  "Hi there.  I was wondering how many fingers I can put up your pussy?"

The mentallity of a 13 yr old horny boy.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amber_c on 28 July 2015, 12:19:12 pm
A man emailed me on AW telling me about his flat in a North Wales tourist town which he offers to escorts. Apparently they are always surprised how popular they are there ::)
He then texted me 3 times, getting my name wrong twice about have I read his email, am I interested..

He texted me last night with this
"Here's a thought, if you can supply a female to work from here, we could offer her 50% of the takings and we then manage her for 25% each. How does that sounds to you? I could also throw in half a week's use of the apartment to you for free as an incentive. How about it?"

Wants me to aid in pimping out another WG and taking half her earnings?!Over my dead body. I feel sick reading that message.. I am so glad pimping is illegal.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 28 July 2015, 01:15:34 pm
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 27 July 2015, 06:20:05 pm
Hi I want to meet tonight at my hotel. But I want really to do cocaine with you. Have incredible cocaine and just want someone to do it with. Can we sort that out? What sort of cost would that be. Many thanks x

fuck off  :FF

Lol was that last night - I got that as well
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 28 July 2015, 03:06:56 pm
sure was ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 28 July 2015, 10:11:45 pm
I directed a potential client (tw) to my website only to be told his computer had blocked the site...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 28 July 2015, 11:37:21 pm
Quote from: Fluffy Bunny on 28 July 2015, 09:37:25 am
At 23.35 phone was off  "Hi there.  I was wondering how many fingers I can put up your pussy?"

The mentallity of a 13 yr old horny boy.  ::)

"None. Night night, sleep tight."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 29 July 2015, 10:14:01 am
This wannabe straight male escort emailed me this morning.

'Hi I just joined adult work would you be interested in doing a male and female duo ? Also if you give me a rate I will give you a rate too ?
I'm new and your the first person that came up so I was wondering if you can help me out ? Please

If you want I will provide a free of charge one hour service for you ?'



hahahahahhhahahaa he's offering a free hour in exchange for feedback. Not to mention the fact I say on my profile I'm not interested in any duos with male escorts.

good luck mate
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 29 July 2015, 11:52:56 am
Text message;
"hey i'm andy are you free on this thrusday and I live in wrexham and can you visit me in wrexham hotel and how much hours will i get for 300 pounds x"

I think Wrexham is in Wales, around 4/5 hours from where I'm based.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 29 July 2015, 03:24:38 pm
 ...sorry to text you , tired of making calls and getting my request rejected . I want to suck your tits really hard most escorts have said no is that something you allow ?
... my reply, maybe they don't want to be in pain had you considered that?
 I don't want my breasts in pain by hard sucking either .
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 29 July 2015, 06:22:24 pm
Is it just me who receives messages from guys who want to "hang out the back of you"? I get them regularly, it's an expression that makes me shudder!

Latest one today:

Subject: hi

Message: mmmmmm i wanna be balls deep hangin out the back of u baby


How tempting. ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 29 July 2015, 08:00:47 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 29 July 2015, 06:22:24 pm
Is it just me who receives messages from guys who want to "hang out the back of you"? I get them regularly, it's an expression that makes me shudder!

Latest one today:

Subject: hi

Message: mmmmmm i wanna be balls deep hangin out the back of u baby




How tempting. ???

Ow what.. Surely these dudes never manage to get a booking?!
I had one last night, 2am: "How far from the airport are u, I could be fucking u in ten minus"
Mmm, yeah sure pal. Glad I was counting sheep at the time  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 29 July 2015, 08:36:48 pm
adult work message just now from a male escort asking to do 3sums with another woman.

wouldn't take no for an answer then asked if he could usse my pics on his page to get more work ffs

aaaaaaaaand blocked!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 29 July 2015, 11:08:49 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 29 July 2015, 10:14:01 am
This wannabe straight male escort emailed me this morning.

'Hi I just joined adult work would you be interested in doing a male and female duo ? Also if you give me a rate I will give you a rate too ?
I'm new and your the first person that came up so I was wondering if you can help me out ? Please

If you want I will provide a free of charge one hour service for you ?'



hahahahahhhahahaa he's offering a free hour in exchange for feedback. Not to mention the fact I say on my profile I'm not interested in any duos with male escorts.

good luck mate

These emails always crack me up, the best one of its kind I've had to date was from "a extremely successful male esort" who claimed that he had several famous female clients as regular clientele (of course this was the reason why he had 0 feedback; his clients couldn't leave feedback as their fame meant that they had to be discreet) after a lot of waffling on about how amazing, gorgeous and well hung a stud he was he proceeded to make me the offer of my life... His hourly outcall rate was ?20 higher than mine, however he really wanted to see me and not only would I have the night of my life, I could learn a lot from him and if I was up to scratch he could get in touch with famous clients who would be great customers for me. So he was willing to see me and not charge me, not even the ?20 extra for his hourly rate... I kid you not.
When I'd finished laughing I politely declined, as famous people tend to be the same as normal people and I'm not impressed by fame and I'm happy exchanging my services for cash.
He didn't take it too well. Bless.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 30 July 2015, 01:50:07 pm
Received last night at about 1am via the AW SMS service....

Oi you up Piggy? Wana fuck?

I replied (and therefore earned 50p by doing so): Sorry there's no Piggy here. You have the wrong lady.


I get all the charmers.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 31 July 2015, 12:14:32 am

Him: I'm near Gatwick, and I've only got ?20, but if you're feeling generous or horny I'd love to see you
R xxx"     (I charge ?150 per hour and Gatwick is 45 mins away.)

Me: No, but thanks for the laugh.

Him: Your welcome xx you know what they say, don't ask, don't get! Xxxxxx

Me: Sure. Alternatively; don't ask, don't make yourself look like a massive cunt.

Him: I'm reporting you for foul language.


I know I shouldn't have risen to it and there are better ways of dealing with these things. Etc. But more importantly who, how, where and why are the bad language police? I feel like I really need to know


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ms.Charlie on 31 July 2015, 02:43:59 am
Quote from: Hadley on 31 July 2015, 12:14:32 am

Him: I'm near Gatwick, and I've only got ?20, but if you're feeling generous or horny I'd love to see you
R xxx"     (I charge ?150 per hour and Gatwick is 45 mins away.)

Me: No, but thanks for the laugh.

Him: Your welcome xx you know what they say, don't ask, don't get! Xxxxxx

Me: Sure. Alternatively; don't ask, don't make yourself look like a massive cunt.

Him: I'm reporting you for foul language.


I know I shouldn't have risen to it and there are better ways of dealing with these things. Etc. But more importantly who, how, where and why are the bad language police? I feel like I really need to know

Now you've done it, you'll be getting a stern phonecall from his Mother soon :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 31 July 2015, 10:44:11 am
Oh I once had a guy text and threaten to report me to Adultwork because I refused his booking...silly sod must think that Adultwork pimps us duh!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 31 July 2015, 11:16:10 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 31 July 2015, 10:44:11 am
Oh I once had a guy text and threaten to report me to Adultwork because I refused his booking...silly sod must think that Adultwork pimps us duh!

They can actually get your profile taken down if AW thinks that you're not actually escorting. There are private gallery and webcam scammers who pretend to escort to get more views. So, if someone emails AW and says that you're never actually available - if they word it right - AW will actually act on it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 31 July 2015, 01:35:44 pm
He wouldn't have had a leg to stand on as I wasn't 'Available today' and he had texted me not emailed at 1am when my calendar states I was available between 10am and 9pm.I've only known AW get the arse if you have available today but constantly refuse bookings.I also have plenty of feedback and field reports that show I escort so just a twat trying to scare me into taking a booking I didn't want.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 31 July 2015, 04:41:30 pm
its so quiet today ive had so few callers then this one  :-X
 "hi can I see you for 15 mins I just want a blow job and can you orgasm if I have time to go down on you"?
 I told him I couldn't in that short space of time so best look elsewhere
he said oh I can come after work then for an hour  and if I do will you guarantee you can orgasm for me.
 I said no I cant because I know hes a time waster !!!
he put the phone down on me  :'(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 01 August 2015, 04:06:29 pm
Text received last night:

"A very sexy horny woman! x "

I just replied "who, you or me?"

He didn't text back!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 02 August 2015, 03:10:25 pm
Had a couple of texts from the same guy. Today I had had a couple of lunch time drinks and was feeling gobby.
Same text as usual.
Him: do you do bareback?
Me: Does the pope sh#*t in the woods, (I like to mix my metaphors)
Him: yes
Me: seen him have you?
Him: yes.
Me: then go bareback the pope, he doesn't believe in protection either, you two should get along great.
Him: silence.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 02 August 2015, 04:44:50 pm
Quote from: Carnal Carmel on 02 August 2015, 03:10:25 pm
Had a couple of texts from the same guy. Today I had had a couple of lunch time drinks and was feeling gobby.
Same text as usual.
Him: do you do bareback?
Me: Does the pope sh#*t in the woods, (I like to mix my metaphors)
Him: yes
Me: seen him have you?
Him: yes.
Me: then go bareback the pope, he doesn't believe in protection either, you two should get along great.
Him: silence.

*applause* brilliant!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 02 August 2015, 05:53:19 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 02 August 2015, 04:44:50 pm
Quote from: Carnal Carmel on 02 August 2015, 03:10:25 pm
Had a couple of texts from the same guy. Today I had had a couple of lunch time drinks and was feeling gobby.
Same text as usual.
Him: do you do bareback?
Me: Does the pope sh#*t in the woods, (I like to mix my metaphors)
Him: yes
Me: seen him have you?
Him: yes.
Me: then go bareback the pope, he doesn't believe in protection either, you two should get along great.
Him: silence.

*applause* brilliant!
well said
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 02 August 2015, 06:19:23 pm
My profile states I don't do out calls to private residence. I get a caller just now 'I know it says on your profile you do not do  out calls but would you come to my home?  :FF
I said we'll it says I don't so why are you asking me when you know the answer.  ::)






Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlaqHarlot on 02 August 2015, 06:30:02 pm
Text I had today.
"I know you only see white men but can you make an exception? I'm half white half Indian and my skins really light so I'm basically white anyway"
Right.... I didn't even give a reply j was just shocked at the sheer stupidity! :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rubyruby on 02 August 2015, 07:25:11 pm
I only have ?30 can I come and just look at you topless
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kamila on 02 August 2015, 10:51:20 pm
Here is what I received today on AW

"
I just wanted to offer you me buying a hotel for you to use over a weekend to see clients from.
I have done some escorting myself due to my high sex drive but its just not giving me the fun I hoped for due to the fact I got quite busy and so felt it started to feel like work rather than fun
So...I've been giving escorts the opportunity of a paid for hotel every month Since May and each time has been very profitable and successful
I could get you a hotel to work from (maybe more than just this once) and it would cost you nothing however you'd walk away with profit. In the process we could have some fun and a laugh too

I figure it would be a win win for everyone so let me know what you think and if you need any more info from me ie. photos, who I am etc then I can provide that via whatsapp or email
Like I said, I've done this since May, sometimes twice a month but mainly I just keep it at one time per month
At least let me show you I am legit however if you aren't interested thank you for your time

Hope to hear from you x"

He then messages me on what's app pics of his penis(x2), torso and face. Looks youngish and has 1 feedback, 2 aliases (one of which is a female escort with 0 feedback)

Wants to have sex with you throughout the day "20 min or so several times", shoot videos and pics, asks for your face pic to "prove" genuineness.
Pfft

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 03 August 2015, 12:59:40 am
Quote from: kamila on 02 August 2015, 10:51:20 pm
Here is what I received today on AW

"
I just wanted to offer you me buying a hotel for you to use over a weekend to see clients from.
I have done some escorting myself due to my high sex drive but its just not giving me the fun I hoped for due to the fact I got quite busy and so felt it started to feel like work rather than fun
So...I've been giving escorts the opportunity of a paid for hotel every month Since May and each time has been very profitable and successful
I could get you a hotel to work from (maybe more than just this once) and it would cost you nothing however you'd walk away with profit. In the process we could have some fun and a laugh too

I figure it would be a win win for everyone so let me know what you think and if you need any more info from me ie. photos, who I am etc then I can provide that via whatsapp or email
Like I said, I've done this since May, sometimes twice a month but mainly I just keep it at one time per month
At least let me show you I am legit however if you aren't interested thank you for your time

Hope to hear from you x"

He then messages me on what's app pics of his penis(x2), torso and face. Looks youngish and has 1 feedback, 2 aliases (one of which is a female escort with 0 feedback)

Wants to have sex with you throughout the day "20 min or so several times", shoot videos and pics, asks for your face pic to "prove" genuineness.
Pfft

What a cu*t
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 03 August 2015, 01:04:44 am
Quote from: MilkChocolate on 02 August 2015, 06:30:02 pm
Text I had today.
"I know you only see white men but can you make an exception? I'm half white half Indian and my skins really light so I'm basically white anyway"
Right.... I didn't even give a reply j was just shocked at the sheer stupidity! :D

Gosh i hate these idiots. I get this all the time. "I know you see white men only, I am asian would you see me?" what part of only white men don't you understand fool? or " I am black would you make an exception?"

Most stupid one was this

Client- "SO i see you're visiting this town soon but you only see white men, you  have to break your rule, I will call you when you are here"
Me- " Yeah you call and see if I pick up. bye"

I just don't get these dumb asses lol. absolutely no shame or pride. Why would you want to see someone who you know don't like you, doesn't really want to see you? I swear I could never get aroused if I knew someone didn't really want to sleep with me. These men can really get it up no matter what lolz.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 03 August 2015, 01:08:01 am
Quote from: Shania on 03 August 2015, 12:59:40 am
Quote from: kamila on 02 August 2015, 10:51:20 pm
Here is what I received today on AW

"
I just wanted to offer you me buying a hotel for you to use over a weekend to see clients from.
I have done some escorting myself due to my high sex drive but its just not giving me the fun I hoped for due to the fact I got quite busy and so felt it started to feel like work rather than fun
So...I've been giving escorts the opportunity of a paid for hotel every month Since May and each time has been very profitable and successful
I could get you a hotel to work from (maybe more than just this once) and it would cost you nothing however you'd walk away with profit. In the process we could have some fun and a laugh too

I figure it would be a win win for everyone so let me know what you think and if you need any more info from me ie. photos, who I am etc then I can provide that via whatsapp or email
Like I said, I've done this since May, sometimes twice a month but mainly I just keep it at one time per month
At least let me show you I am legit however if you aren't interested thank you for your time

Hope to hear from you x"

He then messages me on what's app pics of his penis(x2), torso and face. Looks youngish and has 1 feedback, 2 aliases (one of which is a female escort with 0 feedback)

Wants to have sex with you throughout the day "20 min or so several times", shoot videos and pics, asks for your face pic to "prove" genuineness.
Pfft

What a cu*t


yep i had this one today too
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 03 August 2015, 01:10:40 am
" hi bby im looking for young girl 4 pleasure,very young, maybe you cud hep mi to find.
i will pay u extra if you get me very young 15 or less


i told him to fuck off and rot in hell.just got reply with how about 15 then  :FF :FF :FF

not sure if i should have put this in the warning section or contact the police as totally sick
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 03 August 2015, 01:51:39 am
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 03 August 2015, 01:10:40 am
" hi bby im looking for young girl 4 pleasure,very young, maybe you cud hep mi to find.
i will pay u extra if you get me very young 15 or less


i told him to fuck off and rot in hell.just got reply with how about 15 then  :FF :FF :FF

not sure if i should have put this in the warning section or contact the police as totally sick

I hope he is not being serious and just doing this to wind you up. Most  of them make this their job (winding up escorts that is) Just a bunch of pathetic losers that have no life. I would have asked for his contact details den give dem to the police and show them the email. Then again as soon as I saw the word bby the message would have instantly be deleted ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 03 August 2015, 05:00:00 am
Quote from: kamila on 02 August 2015, 10:51:20 pm
Here is what I received today on AW

"
I just wanted to offer you me buying a hotel for you to use over a weekend to see clients from.
I have done some escorting myself due to my high sex drive but its just not giving me the fun I hoped for due to the fact I got quite busy and so felt it started to feel like work rather than fun
So...I've been giving escorts the opportunity of a paid for hotel every month Since May and each time has been very profitable and successful
I could get you a hotel to work from (maybe more than just this once) and it would cost you nothing however you'd walk away with profit. In the process we could have some fun and a laugh too

I figure it would be a win win for everyone so let me know what you think and if you need any more info from me ie. photos, who I am etc then I can provide that via whatsapp or email
Like I said, I've done this since May, sometimes twice a month but mainly I just keep it at one time per month
At least let me show you I am legit however if you aren't interested thank you for your time

Hope to hear from you x"

He then messages me on what's app pics of his penis(x2), torso and face. Looks youngish and has 1 feedback, 2 aliases (one of which is a female escort with 0 feedback)

Wants to have sex with you throughout the day "20 min or so several times", shoot videos and pics, asks for your face pic to "prove" genuineness.
Pfft

My friend got that
She replied yeah 5 star hotel must be at least ?300 a night she will work all day and then he can have a service cum once 1 hr
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saturnspirit on 03 August 2015, 11:00:27 am
Quote from: ParisB on 03 August 2015, 05:00:00 am
Quote from: kamila on 02 August 2015, 10:51:20 pm
Here is what I received today on AW

"
I just wanted to offer you me buying a hotel for you to use over a weekend to see clients from.
I have done some escorting myself due to my high sex drive but its just not giving me the fun I hoped for due to the fact I got quite busy and so felt it started to feel like work rather than fun
So...I've been giving escorts the opportunity of a paid for hotel every month Since May and each time has been very profitable and successful
I could get you a hotel to work from (maybe more than just this once) and it would cost you nothing however you'd walk away with profit. In the process we could have some fun and a laugh too

I figure it would be a win win for everyone so let me know what you think and if you need any more info from me ie. photos, who I am etc then I can provide that via whatsapp or email
Like I said, I've done this since May, sometimes twice a month but mainly I just keep it at one time per month
At least let me show you I am legit however if you aren't interested thank you for your time

Hope to hear from you x"

He then messages me on what's app pics of his penis(x2), torso and face. Looks youngish and has 1 feedback, 2 aliases (one of which is a female escort with 0 feedback)

Wants to have sex with you throughout the day "20 min or so several times", shoot videos and pics, asks for your face pic to "prove" genuineness.
Pfft

My friend got that
She replied yeah 5 star hotel must be at least ?300 a night she will work all day and then he can have a service cum once 1 hr

I just had the same email. I ight email him the same bacck telling him to book me the ritz! lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saturnspirit on 03 August 2015, 11:03:42 am
I just emailed him a link to the room at the ritz and told him to book it for me! I doubt he will email back lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sensualmilf on 03 August 2015, 11:19:51 am
"Hi ya me and my husband are bi and wanting to try out the escorting business we want totry it first before we put aads up so I was wondering if it would possibly for me Edna follow u for a day I could fuck play with some of ur clients for u see what that like I would be you I don't want any money u still get that I just would to try it out husband loves me getting fucked by anyone osvthat a mad idea or could help us? X"



Gosh, I'm so pleased I get to keep the money  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 03 August 2015, 02:07:01 pm
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 03 August 2015, 01:10:40 am
" hi bby im looking for young girl 4 pleasure,very young, maybe you cud hep mi to find.
i will pay u extra if you get me very young 15 or less


i told him to fuck off and rot in hell.just got reply with how about 15 then  :FF :FF :FF

not sure if i should have put this in the warning section or contact the police as totally sick

Do both. NUM might be interested too. It might just be a wind-up, but considering there ARE people out there who procure children for clients, it's better to be safe than sorry. At the very least a visit from the police should stop him winding escorts up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 03 August 2015, 06:49:17 pm
I am getting really fed up of idiots today asking for details and asking what I look like and admitting they have just looked for a number to ring and then sounding surprised when I say I prefer to do business with a guy that has had least seen my pics and skimmed my adverts.Is it really that hard to make an informed decision on basics like that before wasting my time on the phone? :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 03 August 2015, 08:02:30 pm
Message today on AW

Hi. There is nothing more satisfying in life than spending quality time in the company of an attractive, intelligent mature woman who knows how to dress to attract a mans attention and can ooze sex appeal.
From an ardent admirer. His name xxx.

 
Hmm not sure if he acctualy wants to book.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 04 August 2015, 04:36:46 pm
Quote
Hey,

Youve got a great profile, really did interest me. Well im Andre Lavado, you may have even heard of me. (killergram,com)

(links to his 'work')

Well anyway getting to the point, I would love to do some pictures together for our private gallery. Is this something that would interest you?
I have the New GoPro camera which takes HD pictures and Videos/
Andre Lavado

Be sure to check my profile out.

p.s my verification picture is up to prove i am the real Andre

Couldn't even be bothered to put my name into his copy and pasted email!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Secret-Whore on 04 August 2015, 07:38:43 pm
Asking me if I can get cocaine for the booking. I'm a PROSTITUTE, not a drug dealer.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 04 August 2015, 09:59:06 pm
message recieved today

I know my question sounded a bit weird but I'm actually here to help you.
Another strange question, do you declare your earnings (your evening ones that is)?
The reason I'm asking is that a mutual friend of ours (from the Barnstable area) is or has contacted HMRC. He has asked them to investigate your lifestyle compared to your income! I've known our friend for a few months and I don't know you at all but I find it unfair what he's doing to you.

Now i pay my taxes and im miles from barnstable so odvs a lier !!
 aw username is     mrnationwide  zero feedbk :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 05 August 2015, 04:14:17 am
Quote from: Rubyruby on 02 August 2015, 07:25:11 pm
I only have ?30 can I come and just look at you topless

So funny. I'd have done it. For 5 seconds
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 05 August 2015, 07:01:19 am
Quote from: Secret-Whore on 04 August 2015, 07:38:43 pm
Asking me if I can get cocaine for the booking. I'm a PROSTITUTE, not a drug dealer.
yes according to some of them we all must be high and on drugs with a pimp controlling us !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 05 August 2015, 10:46:05 am
ive just been called by a gentlemen whos in central London( its an hours drive to where I am by car)  wanting to visit for 3hrs when it clearly states my max is 1.5hrs now.
He wants to get a taxi after 6pm this evening when we all know there is a train strike and the roads will be crazy with standstill traffic.
I have advised him to find someone nearer would you ? 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 05 August 2015, 10:59:23 am
Quote from: Midsstudent on 04 August 2015, 04:36:46 pm
Quote
Hey,

Youve got a great profile, really did interest me. Well im Andre Lavado, you may have even heard of me. (killergram,com)

(links to his 'work')

Well anyway getting to the point, I would love to do some pictures together for our private gallery. Is this something that would interest you?
I have the New GoPro camera which takes HD pictures and Videos/
Andre Lavado

Be sure to check my profile out.

p.s my verification picture is up to prove i am the real Andre

Couldn't even be bothered to put my name into his copy and pasted email!  ::)

Oh yes, he's sent me his copy and paste email too. Went straight in the dealt with folder with no reply. And I blocked him as he's sent me the same message several times.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 05 August 2015, 01:34:41 pm
Text. Hi baby I can't call you can you call me! !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 06 August 2015, 05:51:32 am
Hi. I am new here and I was looking to book a meeting with you for a 1 and half hr incall if you think my fantasy idea is worth having a go.

My idea is based around The Jungle Book film from Disney which I have always enjoyed since I was a child. The movie has a sexy feel to it because of it's funky, exotic and mysterious music. There is one scene in particular that has always excited me and it's a scene where the big snake villain Kaa hypnotizes the jungle boy Mowgli into a deep trance. The snake, with colorful spirals spinning wildly in his eyes, stares into Mowgli's to bring him under his power. He then sings a sexy little song to him called Trust In Me. The song is all about hypnotism and going to sleep and the snake control's Mowgli through the song. His hypnotic commands are in the lyrics he sings. The music is very slinky and quite sexy to groove to. It has snake charmer type flutes going and gentle, booming drums for that "jungle sounding beat". Mowgli, who's own eyes are now spinning madly has to obey as he listen's to the music in his sleep and the snake makes him sleepwalk along his tree branch and then down a massive coil of his body like a flight of stair's.

I would love to have some silly fun with you role-playing this scene and taking turns playing the character's. I find it so sexy since it's dealing with hypnotic mind control and I just think it's so sexy that it's a giant snake, who is so sly, laid back, chilled and relaxed that is mesmerizing the human boy. We can watch the scene from the movie together and chat about our favorite parts and also use the music/song when we can "curl up" together. I am hoping to arrange a jungle themed evening with refreshments e.c.t I can also wear a special pair of red underwear for you to look just like Mowgli. If you had any snake-skin, python-esque lingerie that would be lovely too? Please note no actual snakes or hypnotism will be incorporated, it's all just make believe. Plus we don't have to take it seriously at all.

It may be fun to try re-enacting some of the movements also. I'd love for us to snuggle up and try winding ourselves around and around each other. So lots of fun, gentle wrestling will be called for which when doing with the intensity of the music playing might be a blast. For instance after hypnotizing Mowgli the snake "plays" with him using his long body and tail. He does all sorts of tricks with him like flipping him up in the air, rocking him back n forth like a hammock and even making him walk upside down in a loop the loop of his own body. Finally he drops him down his body like a slide until he disappears into a cocoon of the snake's coils at the bottom to keep him contained and tightly snug.

Obviously I understand this is a different request and I do hope you will be interested. If you have any questions or concerns and need to ask anything please let me know. I will be happy to speak to you by phone if you'd like me to also beforehand. In the link below you may watch the scene I'm referring to and hear the music. Thanks very much.

I have a real hate of snake so wont be doing this one !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 06 August 2015, 10:04:29 am
That actually sounds fun to me, but I can't believe it would be a legit request. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 06 August 2015, 10:17:49 am
Never mind! I replied to a post from 2014. No idea how that happened!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 06 August 2015, 10:22:47 am
Have you actually gone on to your bookings calendar and used the holiday bit at the top as I believe if you use this to set the dates of your holiday they can't use the booking form to book you.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 06 August 2015, 11:52:37 am
Client-" Hiya, do you offer sex without a condom as well? thanks xx"

I was literally in shock. What does he mean as well? I don't even do OWO/CIM:FF :FF :FF :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 06 August 2015, 05:01:12 pm
I have an onslaught of special cases today. ;D

Exhibit A:

"HI BBY YOU NEVER COME WORK IN BUSKERUD IN DRMMEN?"

Exhibit B:

Requests bareback, tries to haggle. Classic.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 07 August 2015, 08:54:08 pm
This one has popped up a few times since May:

"lady call now let's have phone sex chat please darlingxxx"

"call now darling"

"call now sexy"

"lady call now please babe"

"call now lady"

"please text me now sexy lady xxxxxxx"

"have text fun please babe"

"let's have phone sex chat please call now"

"text me now woman"

"are you a sexy lady"


So far he's called me everything from lady to woman to baby to darling... not yet hun.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sensualmilf on 07 August 2015, 09:39:08 pm
Daily text in my last tour destination:

' Please address in sex.'   ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 07 August 2015, 10:02:02 pm
Quote from: Erotic Flower on 06 August 2015, 05:51:32 am
Hi. I am new here and I was looking to book a meeting with you for a 1 and half hr incall if you think my fantasy idea is worth having a go.

My idea is based around The Jungle Book film from Disney which I have always enjoyed since I was a child. The movie has a sexy feel to it because of it's funky, exotic and mysterious music. There is one scene in particular that has always excited me and it's a scene where the big snake villain Kaa hypnotizes the jungle boy Mowgli into a deep trance. The snake, with colorful spirals spinning wildly in his eyes, stares into Mowgli's to bring him under his power. He then sings a sexy little song to him called Trust In Me. The song is all about hypnotism and going to sleep and the snake control's Mowgli through the song. His hypnotic commands are in the lyrics he sings. The music is very slinky and quite sexy to groove to. It has snake charmer type flutes going and gentle, booming drums for that "jungle sounding beat". Mowgli, who's own eyes are now spinning madly has to obey as he listen's to the music in his sleep and the snake makes him sleepwalk along his tree branch and then down a massive coil of his body like a flight of stair's.

I would love to have some silly fun with you role-playing this scene and taking turns playing the character's. I find it so sexy since it's dealing with hypnotic mind control and I just think it's so sexy that it's a giant snake, who is so sly, laid back, chilled and relaxed that is mesmerizing the human boy. We can watch the scene from the movie together and chat about our favorite parts and also use the music/song when we can "curl up" together. I am hoping to arrange a jungle themed evening with refreshments e.c.t I can also wear a special pair of red underwear for you to look just like Mowgli. If you had any snake-skin, python-esque lingerie that would be lovely too? Please note no actual snakes or hypnotism will be incorporated, it's all just make believe. Plus we don't have to take it seriously at all.

It may be fun to try re-enacting some of the movements also. I'd love for us to snuggle up and try winding ourselves around and around each other. So lots of fun, gentle wrestling will be called for which when doing with the intensity of the music playing might be a blast. For instance after hypnotizing Mowgli the snake "plays" with him using his long body and tail. He does all sorts of tricks with him like flipping him up in the air, rocking him back n forth like a hammock and even making him walk upside down in a loop the loop of his own body. Finally he drops him down his body like a slide until he disappears into a cocoon of the snake's coils at the bottom to keep him contained and tightly snug.

Obviously I understand this is a different request and I do hope you will be interested. If you have any questions or concerns and need to ask anything please let me know. I will be happy to speak to you by phone if you'd like me to also beforehand. In the link below you may watch the scene I'm referring to and hear the music. Thanks very much.

I have a real hate of snake so wont be doing this one !!!

Oh that's seriously funny! Embracing his inner child there.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 07 August 2015, 10:09:56 pm
I've no idea why engaged with this twit, was quiet yesterday so was bored.

him "U working today"
me "Yes"
him "how much for 15 min"
me "50"
him "will you take 40"
me "do you want full service?"
him "ya"
him "what is fall service"
me "go away you are clearly an idiot"
him "that rude i not an idiot"
him 4.5 hours later "will you meet me for 40"

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 08 August 2015, 11:41:43 am
Switched my phone on to a number of bizarre messages. These came at around after midnight

Idiot- Hi saw your ad. can i come around for 30 minutes? where about are you and how much is it?
Idiot-Just looking for ATM
Idiot- Sorry deleted your number was just texting you. Still ok to come?
Idiot-??
Idiot-Shall I go? (Me thinking to myself "go where? you don't even have address)
Idiot-?!

Another idiot texts at 5am

Idiot-Tried your number but not responsive (well ya think? it's 5am and I'm still sleeping) my number is _________ I wanna be around ya

These are all in response to my ad for my upcoming tour. If they had even bother to read they would know that I am not there yet and what my prices are. Gosh, now I'm scared to go now :'(

Had one send me a text saying "This is the last text I will be sending you in regards to decorating your flat. I will decorate your working flat for free. I am very good. I can come around now. I didn't respond to it obviously. Then couple hours later got a text from same number saying "Hi can i book you for 30 minutes please. Send me your postcode. I wanna just cancel my tour now. Should I be worried? :-[
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 09 August 2015, 12:11:47 am
Something that's happened to me twice this week - angling for a date, instead of a first booking. Starts off normal enough, then they ask if I'm single etc., then tell me how well-endowed they are if I'm looking for a date and so on and so on.

No, fuck off - I need cold hard cash, at least the first time!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 09 August 2015, 12:18:40 am
Quote from: Shania on 08 August 2015, 11:41:43 am
Switched my phone on to a number of bizarre messages. These came at around after midnight

Idiot- Hi saw your ad. can i come around for 30 minutes? where about are you and how much is it?
Idiot-Just looking for ATM
Idiot- Sorry deleted your number was just texting you. Still ok to come?
Idiot-??
Idiot-Shall I go? (Me thinking to myself "go where? you don't even have address)
Idiot-?!

Another idiot texts at 5am

Idiot-Tried your number but not responsive (well ya think? it's 5am and I'm still sleeping) my number is _________ I wanna be around ya

These are all in response to my ad for my upcoming tour. If they had even bother to read they would know that I am not there yet and what my prices are. Gosh, now I'm scared to go now :'(

Had one send me a text saying "This is the last text I will be sending you in regards to decorating your flat. I will decorate your working flat for free. I am very good. I can come around now. I didn't respond to it obviously. Then couple hours later got a text from same number saying "Hi can i book you for 30 minutes please. Send me your postcode. I wanna just cancel my tour now. Should I be worried? :-[

It's somewhat normal to hear off all the lunatics in a town new to you and I like to change my AW profile to the new postcode as soon as I finish at home so as to get through that crap ASAP.

Where is this place?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Treetop on 09 August 2015, 03:06:03 am
Turn up at 2am, get me out of bed then scream as I open the window. "Are you working?" When I say no, "please I can't book anyone, I'll give you any money you want"

This dude is unbelievably banned and his number blocked!  My neighbours would have heard all that, why?! why not call to see if I'm available. Which I wouldn't be as I work 12 till 6 but who tries to book at 2am but shouting at a window?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Teddy Bear on 09 August 2015, 03:42:59 am
Books me for a hotel outcall then asks if I can pick him up from his house and bring him to the hotel with me...

Why not just book me at your house idiot ??? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 09 August 2015, 10:35:11 am
0 feedback, 2am, pretty sure I don't have any mention of tours on my profile....

'baby come on tour to gatwick airport I will see you'

I'm in Newcastle. And no, you will not see me   ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 09 August 2015, 10:38:28 am
Quote from: geordie on 09 August 2015, 10:35:11 am
0 feedback, 2am, pretty sure I don't have any mention of tours on my profile....

'baby come on tour to gatwick airport I will see you'

I'm in Newcastle. And no, you will not see me   ???
ive had callers from some unknown places contact me asking me to tour to see them !!
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 09 August 2015, 12:15:26 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 09 August 2015, 12:18:40 am
Quote from: Shania on 08 August 2015, 11:41:43 am
Switched my phone on to a number of bizarre messages. These came at around after midnight

Idiot- Hi saw your ad. can i come around for 30 minutes? where about are you and how much is it?
Idiot-Just looking for ATM
Idiot- Sorry deleted your number was just texting you. Still ok to come?
Idiot-??
Idiot-Shall I go? (Me thinking to myself "go where? you don't even have address)
Idiot-?!

Another idiot texts at 5am

Idiot-Tried your number but not responsive (well ya think? it's 5am and I'm still sleeping) my number is _________ I wanna be around ya

These are all in response to my ad for my upcoming tour. If they had even bother to read they would know that I am not there yet and what my prices are. Gosh, now I'm scared to go now :'(

Had one send me a text saying "This is the last text I will be sending you in regards to decorating your flat. I will decorate your working flat for free. I am very good. I can come around now. I didn't respond to it obviously. Then couple hours later got a text from same number saying "Hi can i book you for 30 minutes please. Send me your postcode. I wanna just cancel my tour now. Should I be worried? :-[

It's somewhat normal to hear off all the lunatics in a town new to you and I like to change my AW profile to the new postcode as soon as I finish at home so as to get through that crap ASAP.

Where is this place?

It's in Birmingham. I'm kinda nervous to go now to be honest  :-[
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Usernamechanged on 09 August 2015, 05:43:47 pm
Second time I've received this message, but he now seems to have sorted his spelling (almost):

do u have a ginger pubed vagina

Also received a message from a guy asking me to bid on his reverse booking - if he wants to see me why not just book me??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlaqHarlot on 09 August 2015, 06:05:04 pm
Quote from: Shania on 09 August 2015, 12:15:26 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 09 August 2015, 12:18:40 am
Quote from: Shania on 08 August 2015, 11:41:43 am
Switched my phone on to a number of bizarre messages. These came at around after midnight

Idiot- Hi saw your ad. can i come around for 30 minutes? where about are you and how much is it?
Idiot-Just looking for ATM
Idiot- Sorry deleted your number was just texting you. Still ok to come?
Idiot-??
Idiot-Shall I go? (Me thinking to myself "go where? you don't even have address)
Idiot-?!

Another idiot texts at 5am

Idiot-Tried your number but not responsive (well ya think? it's 5am and I'm still sleeping) my number is _________ I wanna be around ya

These are all in response to my ad for my upcoming tour. If they had even bother to read they would know that I am not there yet and what my prices are. Gosh, now I'm scared to go now :'(

Had one send me a text saying "This is the last text I will be sending you in regards to decorating your flat. I will decorate your working flat for free. I am very good. I can come around now. I didn't respond to it obviously. Then couple hours later got a text from same number saying "Hi can i book you for 30 minutes please. Send me your postcode. I wanna just cancel my tour now. Should I be worried? :-[

It's somewhat normal to hear off all the lunatics in a town new to you and I like to change my AW profile to the new postcode as soon as I finish at home so as to get through that crap ASAP.

Where is this place?

It's in Birmingham. I'm kinda nervous to go now to be honest  :-[
I work in Birmingham, don't be nervous! You get those kind of twats anywhere and everywhere especially at ridiculous o clock. Being near to the city centre seems to get me more business than when I book a hotel further out x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 09 August 2015, 06:16:12 pm
Quote from: Usernamechanged on 09 August 2015, 05:43:47 pm


Also received a message from a guy asking me to bid on his reverse booking - if he wants to see me why not just book me??
I had one of those. He obviously hadn't read my profile either as he wanted an outcall (I'm incall only).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 09 August 2015, 06:55:22 pm
Text yesterday,
"you ava 2moro?"

Ffs! How far will some guys go to abbreviate everything! Lazy, rude pricks  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 09 August 2015, 07:00:37 pm
I get requests to look at their RB from time to time and it's because they want you for lower than your stated charges I think. Had one this week email me about RB and it said that he wants hour incall, PSE to involve fisting us (but not to worry if it's not doable!), then mentions half the likes list and was offering ?70 hour. I was glad to see no one had bidded unless he'd just put it on. I think they think we will if we're desperate enough.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lou2015 on 10 August 2015, 10:06:42 am
Woke up to this....

... listen you slut I have an offer for you that you gone like how would you like to earn ?840 for just 5hours of being fxxked if you interested let me know for more information or no.......


I'm sure a few of us in London had the pleasure this morning

How I resisted I'll never know!   :FF

Happy Monday all!! Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 10 August 2015, 01:14:08 pm
I am on the verge of tears. Text this morning

"Hi, hope your pics REAL! txt me add p-code when u in B'ham please, will visit ?60 hlf hr. interested? Be nice to meet x"

Wat pisses me off is that I do not even charge 60 half hour.SO you want to offer me nearly half my half hour rate and think i'd be interested?  :-\ :'( :FF

I am tempted to cuss him out.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Teddy Bear on 10 August 2015, 03:44:22 pm
Voicemail at 4PM when I'm still asleep yesterday (equivalent of someone calling you day ladies at 4AM) as I work nights and until very late in the morning...

"Do you wanna earn yourself 2 grand? Answer the fucking phone you rude cunt".

Moving isn't it? They get so butt hurt when they are ignored ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: naughtyvixen95 on 10 August 2015, 04:02:33 pm
Quote from: Usernamechanged on 09 August 2015, 05:43:47 pm
Also received a message from a guy asking me to bid on his reverse booking - if he wants to see me why not just book me??

I had a guy do that as well, I ended up seeing him. Turns out he sends them to the girls he has in his hot list to see if they'd be tempted by it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sensualmilf on 10 August 2015, 08:31:01 pm
Quote from: Teddy Bear on 10 August 2015, 03:44:22 pm
Voicemail at 4PM when I'm still asleep yesterday (equivalent of someone calling you day ladies at 4AM) as I work nights and until very late in the morning...

"Do you wanna earn yourself 2 grand? Answer the fucking phone you rude cunt".

Moving isn't it? They get so butt hurt when they are ignored ::)

That is unfuckingbelievably rude, Teddy.

I just got this polar opposite by phone: 'Are you the one that does naughty time?'

I wander if he has hair on his balls yet??!!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 11 August 2015, 06:27:32 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 09 August 2015, 06:55:22 pm
Text yesterday,
"you ava 2moro?"

Ffs! How far will some guys go to abbreviate everything! Lazy, rude pricks  :FF

At least he spelled out "you."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 11 August 2015, 06:28:20 am
Quote from: Bluetits on 09 August 2015, 07:00:37 pm
I get requests to look at their RB from time to time and it's because they want you for lower than your stated charges I think. Had one this week email me about RB and it said that he wants hour incall, PSE to involve fisting us (but not to worry if it's not doable!), then mentions half the likes list and was offering ?70 hour. I was glad to see no one had bidded unless he'd just put it on. I think they think we will if we're desperate enough.

I get asked to do that and I never know how to find any particular RB. Unless they give me a postcode and bid amount to search for.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: naughtyvixen95 on 11 August 2015, 10:41:36 am
Quote from: Fabulassie on 11 August 2015, 06:28:20 am
I get asked to do that and I never know how to find any particular RB. Unless they give me a postcode and bid amount to search for.

Ask them to copy & paste the link.
If they can't do that then chose then increase the miles from your own postcode and then change Order Results By: to member rating which should make it easier to find. It's a bit of faffing around but if it'd one you'd bid on its worth the effort. You might have to change the date if its not for a couple of weeks, the furthest ahead they can put one up for is 2months.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ieaio on 11 August 2015, 12:17:41 pm
Just had a guy answer with abrupt one word answers to my questions. Not sure if he was shy or just plain rude so I didn't end up taking the booking just incase. I can usually coax the shy ones out their shell but if they're can't even muster up anything when asking for a booking bar 1 word responses, god forbid what the booking would have been like
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 11 August 2015, 06:34:58 pm
I got asked to bid on a RB before and it was half my usual rate. I told him that there was no chance at that price.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 11 August 2015, 07:47:09 pm
Just got a text : " I want to book u, so see u in an hour. stockings and heels. I'll fuck u so hard mm cant wait "  ::)
Thank the lord this idiot doesn't know where I live.!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 11 August 2015, 09:37:24 pm
Texts

Prick: Hi send postcode

Me: yh you wait for it

Prick: ?

Me : ?

Couple hours past.

Prick : still waiting on postcode

Me : yh keep waiting for it

Lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 12 August 2015, 11:39:27 am
Had a someone call me this morning. Sounded a bit funny as in drowsy but thought I should give him benefit of the doubt. Books an appointment all fine. Texted him hotel postcode only to receive a text saying "Thanks darling, how much do you charge? ??? So you booked an escort and don't even know how much she charges, wow. Obviously he got ignored. He texted again "please tell me I want to come now" Im just thinking just look in my website. Literally, my number is right next to my rates. Even if you can't read, or can't be bothered to read. At least just look for the pound sign. It's not that hard.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 12 August 2015, 11:48:45 am
Quote from: Shania on 11 August 2015, 09:37:24 pm
Texts

Prick: Hi send postcode

Me: yh you wait for it

Prick: ?

Me : ?

Couple hours past.

Prick : still waiting on postcode

Me : yh keep waiting for it

Lol
they just havnt got a clue as to how to book an escort have they?
I get calls, one word " postcode" I just cut them off
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 12 August 2015, 11:53:35 am
Yeah, that one or "Location?", or "Available?" or "How much"  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 12 August 2015, 01:47:02 pm
Quote from: Shania on 12 August 2015, 11:39:27 am
Had a someone call me this morning. Sounded a bit funny as in drowsy but thought I should give him benefit of the doubt. Books an appointment all fine. Texted him hotel postcode only to receive a text saying "Thanks darling, how much do you charge? ??? So you booked an escort and don't even know how much she charges, wow. Obviously he got ignored. He texted again "please tell me I want to come now" Im just thinking just look in my website. Literally, my number is right next to my rates. Even if you can't read, or can't be bothered to read. At least just look for the pound sign. It's not that hard.

lol I hate that. I had one guy who actually turned up and asked the rates, then complained it was too expensive and left. Arse.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 13 August 2015, 01:16:45 pm
1. Wanting me to meet him in a very busy shopping centre to give him my knickers for the same price as my half hour incalls - when told he might as well book an incall for the same price he said he might extend to an hour and he will let me know the date (not holding my breath for that one)

2. 'Come to my work I have no bed here though'


What ever happened to men who like to be discreet? I get the excitement factor but jeez, no thanks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 13 August 2015, 02:11:35 pm
He'll be the one with binoculars round his neck then lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 13 August 2015, 11:48:19 pm
"My name is Eric. I am half Ghan and half German, mix race guy. I see you profile page and like very much. Is it possible to meet you this weekend please? I need to tell you I am very big guy, to check you is ok with this. I am 6 feet 7 tall, 19.5 stone, and am cursed with 13 inches of man meat, very thick. Many girls don't like this. Is it ok for you?"

Came complete with photo which made me laugh out loud whilst in the company of friends. When I showed them the photo one of them said some guy had sent her the same one on facebook...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sensualmilf on 14 August 2015, 10:22:12 am
Woke up to this little gem:

'Hi slut, fancy an Outcall.'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 14 August 2015, 10:50:47 am
I got back from my holiday and turned on my work phone to see the messages from those who texted even though my profile says very clearly that I'm away on holiday.

Gary fae Glasgow is still horny and looking for fun... in case any of you were wondering.  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 14 August 2015, 05:05:04 pm
Just got asked if I can take off my fee what he has paid in AW credits to view my gallery!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 14 August 2015, 11:05:55 pm
Just now from Viva street.
How much for sex.

Today on Adult work after a long day;
Message 1.

Hiya Carmel.

I was wondering if you were free at all today please? We chatted a little time ago but unfortunately couldn't schedule a mutual time and date to meet.

Hope to hear from you soon.

I messaged back saying sorry but by the time I got to my messages the day was almost over and if he wanted same day booking it would be best to ring.

The reply;

I only have an iPad hun, I don't have a phone. Used to but it didn't stop ringing so I decided I was to easily contactable lol. When are you next free please love?

X

Told him its not possible to book without a phone as I would need to direct him to door from where he should arrive at.
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 15 August 2015, 01:30:23 am
Quote from: Carnal Carmel on 14 August 2015, 11:05:55 pm

I only have an iPad hun, I don't have a phone. Used to but it didn't stop ringing so I decided I was to easily contactable lol. When are you next free please love?



Too easily contactable? Is that not what phones are for?  ???

Men  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bluetits on 15 August 2015, 02:37:05 am
That's why I'd never arrange by text. When I do respond to a few well written ones asking them to pls call, only a few do so I wonder why some tws are so scared to phone and will make any excuse not to which I don't get. What are they scared of? Or is it shyness? Surely not :P If it is simply a shy weirdo it just proves they'll be too scared to actually turn up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Teddy Bear on 15 August 2015, 02:53:42 am
Guy just booked and gave his address, everything going smoothly. Then he said "it better be you in the pictures of I'll slam the door in your face!" I responded it was indeed me but he would never find out and hung up on him.

A simple is it definitely me in the photos would have sufficed. Rude man.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 15 August 2015, 08:12:06 am
Woke up to a brilliant one this morning...


'Hi, I'm gary'



  ???


Just had another one from same guy when I didn't reply

'Is it cause I'm ginger?'

I can't deal with stroking men's egos at this time on a Saturday morning  :FF



Now that I didn't reply to either message, he's threatening to make loads of fake bookings with my agency. Joy
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LAC-xox on 15 August 2015, 05:54:34 pm
Guy books on Adultwork with no prior communication..
So I message him today to ask him to call me if he's still coming.
He replies  "sorry, filling in a job application at the mo"
Me: Um, cool but would you still like a booking today?
Him: no can do love blackpool is miles away im in Kent.
?!?!?!??
Then why on earth did you fill out a booking request  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 15 August 2015, 05:57:17 pm
Quote from: LAC-xox on 15 August 2015, 05:54:34 pm
Guy books on Adultwork with no prior communication..
So I message him today to ask him to call me if he's still coming.
He replies  "sorry, filling in a job application at the mo"
Me: Um, cool but would you still like a booking today?
Him: no can do love blackpool is miles away im in Kent.
?!?!?!??
Then why on earth did you fill out a booking request  :FF

And that is why I never respond or contact men that just put a booking through with no prior communication. %99.99 of them that do it have no feedback and are silly twats.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 15 August 2015, 06:01:18 pm
No I'd never ring a random idiot 'booker'!
They do it all the time....lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nachos on 15 August 2015, 06:50:26 pm
'Hope you don't mind me asking and I'm not being rude or anything.
But how much is it for me to come and watch you play with yourself and wank over your tits?
5-10min booking maximum? I will give you good feedback, I will become a regular 1-2 times per week.
I'm only 24 so haven't got a big budget to spend.'

Best thing is that this cheeky bellend has 22 positive feedbacks accumulated somehow :-)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sensualmilf on 16 August 2015, 12:50:38 am
By text at 12.01 (I don't answer ANYTHING after 10pm) plus I am reclining in my pj's, no make up, you get the gist.

'I need no nonsense, no massage
no blow job just a good fuck doggy
style can you oblige in next half hour.'

YAWN!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 16 August 2015, 01:01:21 am
'Will you sit on my toy cars, crush them and tell me I'm too old for them now'



Hahahahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sensualmilf on 16 August 2015, 09:01:39 am
Quote from: geordie on 16 August 2015, 01:01:21 am
'Will you sit on my toy cars, crush them and tell me I'm too old for them now'



Hahahahaha

What, and leave tyre tracks all over your arse? I think not. (Not to mention the bruising - ouch!)  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 16 August 2015, 10:36:01 am
Quote from: sensualmilf on 14 August 2015, 10:22:12 am
Woke up to this little gem:

'Hi slut, fancy an Outcall.'

You see I would just respond with...

No but I hear your sister is available and cheaper.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sultress000 on 16 August 2015, 01:13:13 pm
Quote from: sensualmilf on 16 August 2015, 09:01:39 am
Quote from: geordie on 16 August 2015, 01:01:21 am
'Will you sit on my toy cars, crush them and tell me I'm too old for them now'





Hahahahaha

What, and leave tyre tracks all over your arse? I think not. (Not to mention the bruising - ouch!)  ;D

Haha, I received this one today too.. How sad!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 16 August 2015, 05:41:23 pm
Quote from: geordie on 16 August 2015, 01:01:21 am
'Will you sit on my toy cars, crush them and tell me I'm too old for them now'



Hahahahaha

I had this very early hours of this morning too!!

And then this afternoon

3:24pm - do you see couples? xx
3:33pm - ?? x
3:41pm - forget it now

God forbid I'm doing something else or even working!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimberly-x on 16 August 2015, 08:12:21 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 16 August 2015, 05:41:23 pm
Quote from: geordie on 16 August 2015, 01:01:21 am
'Will you sit on my toy cars, crush them and tell me I'm too old for them now'



Hahahahaha

I had this very early hours of this morning too!!

And then this afternoon

3:24pm - do you see couples? xx
3:33pm - ?? x
3:41pm - forget it now

God forbid I'm doing something else or even working!

ive had this hes a TW
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 16 August 2015, 08:32:09 pm
Call from someone who sounds like a woman

How much for half an hour?
Me: it's 80 for half an hour.
Do you see young guys?
Me: how old are you?
Him: 16 but I've got 200 if you'll see me.

His voice obviously hadn't  even broken.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 17 August 2015, 03:48:18 am
Hi... is it ok one shoot ?20?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LovePod on 17 August 2015, 07:44:23 am
Email on AW

Subject: no condom
Hi bb, u available today?

Usually I ignore and block but was in a funny mood yesterday so replied:
You should learn to read before sending out stupid emails. My profile says no one under 35 (he was 20), no one with 0 feedback (he had 0 feedback) no weekend bookings (it was Sunday) AND NO SEXUAL ACTIVITY WITHOUT PROTECTION.

His reply:
I would be happy if you could make an exception  :o :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 17 August 2015, 08:10:53 am
Him: Are you free bbe

Me: My rates are on my profile.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 17 August 2015, 11:39:02 am
Quote from: geordie on 16 August 2015, 01:01:21 am
'Will you sit on my toy cars, crush them and tell me I'm too old for them now'



Hahahahaha

I had that one recently too. Told him I didn't want go get bruises so he said to wear jeans. Fantasist.

From AW;
"Hi there,

I'm looking for someone to escort me for a week to the heat of Egypt in a luxury 5 star resort. Fancy it?

Of course i'd like us to meet up in advance of the trip, to make sure we both think we'd feel happy spending a week with each other.

I'd cover all your expenses, and happy to throw in some spending money whilst you're away too.

I'm not made of money, so this is more of a free holiday, nice experience kind of thing, rather than a get rich quick deal!

If you think that might be of interest, let me know...

David"

Oh yes please  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 17 August 2015, 12:43:48 pm
Quote from: Emma_C on 17 August 2015, 11:39:02 am
Quote from: geordie on 16 August 2015, 01:01:21 am
'Will you sit on my toy cars, crush them and tell me I'm too old for them now'



Hahahahaha

I had that one recently too. Told him I didn't want go get bruises so he said to wear jeans. Fantasist.

From AW;
"Hi there,

I'm looking for someone to escort me for a week to the heat of Egypt in a luxury 5 star resort. Fancy it?

Of course i'd like us to meet up in advance of the trip, to make sure we both think we'd feel happy spending a week with each other.

I'd cover all your expenses, and happy to throw in some spending money whilst you're away too.

I'm not made of money, so this is more of a free holiday, nice experience kind of thing, rather than a get rich quick deal!

If you think that might be of interest, let me know...

David"

Oh yes please  ::)

Oh man. The ones who think we're not after money but just a good time (with a stranger).

I booked a guy today and told him to text to confirm at a specific time. The time came and went and someone else was wanting the slot, so I thought fuck it as it was a longer booking. Told him it was cancelled and he had a strop, complaining I cost him money and gave him too many hoops to jump through (a text is that hard is it?)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 17 August 2015, 09:07:49 pm
Quote from: LovePod on 17 August 2015, 07:44:23 am
Email on AW

Subject: no condom
Hi bb, u available today?

Usually I ignore and block but was in a funny mood yesterday so replied:
You should learn to read before sending out stupid emails. My profile says no one under 35 (he was 20), no one with 0 feedback (he had 0 feedback) no weekend bookings (it was Sunday) AND NO SEXUAL ACTIVITY WITHOUT PROTECTION.

His reply:
I would be happy if you could make an exception  :o :FF

I cringed whilst reading this.  ??? I hate them
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 17 August 2015, 10:22:20 pm
Hi baby I'm Jay can come see you now ...sent as text as on my block list
Then sends text to my friend who is  in same room as me 10 mins later
 hi honey can come see you now  my names mark !!!
Lol dumb fool
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 18 August 2015, 04:44:44 pm
Don't let one idiot put you off. It's part of the job... just let it go over your head and make your money off the good ones!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kimberly-x on 18 August 2015, 09:11:20 pm
had a guy text me
him- how much for 30 min?
me- what? no how are you? or are you working today? did you even read my profile? and you didnt even call me
him- hellow how are you are you free today if so how much for a bit of fun at yours;)

normally id do the booking if he called me and sounded ok

but im in a funny mood today  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 18 August 2015, 09:24:59 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 18 August 2015, 04:44:44 pm
Don't let one idiot put you off. It's part of the job... just let it go over your head and make your money off the good ones!  ;D

Lol thanks student  :) x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ceecee on 18 August 2015, 10:02:22 pm
Had a guy asking me to do a booking for him and his friend so they can "try out a few things" on me. wtf?
He also said "money is no object".

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 18 August 2015, 10:16:38 pm
Had a text this evening 'how much for half an hour you whore?'

Just... why.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 19 August 2015, 12:19:59 am
By phone, rough estuary accent:

Him: Something incomprehensible
Me: Sorry?
Him: HAVE YOU GOT BIG TITS?!
Me: Erm, not particularly.
Him: HAVE YOU GOT A BIG FAT ARSE?!
Me. Click...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 19 August 2015, 08:55:45 am
Quote from: Lucie268 on 18 August 2015, 10:16:38 pm
Had a text this evening 'how much for half an hour you whore?'

Just... why.

My reply would have been "hold on let me just ask your mother" No? Is that Too rude? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: alicedotalice on 19 August 2015, 01:05:42 pm
Quote from: ceecee on 18 August 2015, 10:02:22 pm
Had a guy asking me to do a booking for him and his friend so they can "try out a few things" on me. wtf?
He also said "money is no object".

 ::)

From my experience - if they say money is no object, the money is always object  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 19 August 2015, 01:42:36 pm
Quote from: alicedotalice on 19 August 2015, 01:05:42 pm
Quote from: ceecee on 18 August 2015, 10:02:22 pm
Had a guy asking me to do a booking for him and his friend so they can "try out a few things" on me. wtf?
He also said "money is no object".

 ::)

From my experience - if they say money is no object, the money is always object  ;D

Who would want non-corporeal money anyway!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 19 August 2015, 03:41:49 pm
Hi

Was looking at making a booking but short for time

Would you accept ?20 for 10min BJ

I suffer from premature ejaculation so if I took on a half hour
Appointment would you be ok for me to cum twice

Many thanks
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 19 August 2015, 04:56:58 pm
Quote from: Shania on 18 August 2015, 12:52:38 pm
Just arrived to my tour location...

On the verge of tears  :'(

This shit ALWAYS happens when you first arrive in a town on tour. It's because all the nutters - whom the local girls have long since blocked - will try it on with a new face. But don't let it get to you. It dies off pretty quickly. When I go on a tour, I change my postcode on AW as soon as I finish at home/my last location. Like, if I finish on a Friday, and I'm leaving on Sunday, I'll go ahead and change my AW postcode and let the loons have their fun while I'm not even paying attention. There will still be a few more when you arrive but you just weed them out, shrug them off, and make lots of money.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 19 August 2015, 05:27:26 pm
Quote
hi bb, can I come and play with your feet and come on your feet ill give you ?25. also i would need to keep my face covered for private and confidential reasons.

This was this morning, now he's no longer a member of aw lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ms.Charlie on 20 August 2015, 12:11:31 pm
Good news ladies in Bristol: "Amazing coke" man is back!

"Hope your well. I'm after something a little bit different. Basically me, you, some drinks and some of this spectacular coke I have. I don't do it that often and I'm reguallrly in th area in business and get very bored. So I thought why not spice things up! Is this something you could do? It'll likely be the first week of September.. Sorry I advance if I've offended you x"

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 21 August 2015, 10:03:51 pm
'How much to watch you take a dump? :) x'

'?10,000'

We'll see  :)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 22 August 2015, 11:57:17 am
Returned to work  this week after a couple months off and already want to take another holiday!

Idiot one: first text: hi are you full sub? anal? facefucking? faceslapping? where u based?
second text three minutes after: is there ?40 knocked off all your rates? if so I'll have 30 mins
me- All questions are covered on my profile. No, the special offer is for 15 minutes only.

Next texts all a few  minutes apart:

him- okay just wanted to double check u do those. would u honour the deal for a 30 minute booking?
him- can u book me in for 6 if thats the case
him- u would not regret it or forget me anytime soon ;) also u can be my regular sub if ur frequently avaliable (right, because no one has ever tried that.)
me- the offer is for 15 mins only.
him- np i'd like to spend a bit more time and cum more than once
him- unless u will do it for 60 thats all the cash i have on me right now
me- my rates are shown on my profile, I can no longer accept you as a client and suggest you find someone cheaper
him- ok sorry xx

Idiot 2:
text 1: I see you upped the price on your special offer, would you be willing to book me in at the old rate?

I agreed as he'd been trying to book me for a while before I took time off.

text 2: is it okay to give u oral in a 15 min booking? just love giving oral
me- I don't recieve oral in a 15 minute booking.
him- is it a naked service?
me- no

-stopped responding, all these then sent a couple mins apart:

him- topless? postcode?
him- u free now?
him- im 10 mins away, free now?
him- ??
him- what time u free?
him- tried calling


idiot 3: Cancelled four minutes before he was due.

idiot 4: cancelled six minutes before he was due.

Idiot 5- Hi are you free now?
me- Yes, i'm free until 5.30
him- okay, can I book the special? I can get there for 4.50
--arranges it/sends details etc

4.50 comes and goes...text at 5.19- Hi, sorry about this I will be there for 6.

..er..no you wont! I already told you I was free until half 5 not afterwards, you didn't bother to let me know what was going on and even if I was still free I wouldn't be seeing you!

Idiot 6: Arrives, goes upstairs, I say let's get buisness out the way. 'Checks' his pockets, 'left' his card in the car (I take card payments now? I didn't know this.) and says he will go get it from the car. Didn't expect him to come back and I was right. My first ever walk out. What fun that one was.

Idiot 7: Calls and asks if there's discounts on 30 min and one hour bookings. (Where do I say anywhere there is?! I don't!)

Idiot 8: Do u do anal?? do u swallow?? do u french kiss with tongue?? (I thought that's what french kiss meant  ??? ) Is there anything u dont do??

Idiot 9: My first ever one wanting reassurance about sti's. Repeatedly. Ugh.

Idiot 10: 9 calls in 47 minutes. God forbid I'm busy working!

Plus the three no shows.

All within the first two days of returning to work.  :FF :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 22 August 2015, 12:31:24 pm
 :-\ Gosh Hannah, how do these humans exist in the 'real' world?
Do people overlook their sub-normal behaviours.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 22 August 2015, 03:13:14 pm
2 idiots to report girls:

Twat no. 1

Had been talking to him for a few weeks, made an advance booking with me for next Saturday.  All normal stuff.  Then he answered another ad I had up wanting an appointment for last night, not realising both ads were mine.  Emails to ask me something about next week

ME:  I don't know if you know or not, but you sent a message to another of my ads requesting a booking for last night.  So you will understand I suspect you are less than genuine.

TWAT1:  No I didn't know that, no.  How can I prove I'm genuine?
TWAT1:  Actually maybe it wasn't me, I didn't try to set anything up for last night.
ME:  (Copied and pasted his email back to him, complete with his email address in the sender field) 
TWAT1:  Oh maybe it was me then, I don't remember that tbh.  But I am genuine tho.

 :FF :FF :FF

TWAT2:  How much for half an hour?
ME:  It's ?**
TWAT2:  OK that's fine.  Can I have a photo of the merchandise?

The MERCHANDISE?  I'm fucking merchandise?

Twat 2 has really pissed me off actually!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 22 August 2015, 03:33:16 pm
'Merchandise' put a big smile on my face!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 22 August 2015, 04:00:42 pm
Text at 2am. would you do a car meet now? Handjob only. ???

Same text again at 10pm  ::)

I swear sometimes they think we are desperate and would do anything for money. I'm not that hungry that i would come out my yard, jump in some strangers car at 2am to give him a handjob.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 22 August 2015, 06:23:02 pm
Quote from: geordie on 22 August 2015, 03:33:16 pm
'Merchandise' put a big smile on my face!  ;D

I'm laughing about it now but was fuming at the time  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 24 August 2015, 06:05:21 am
"Hey are you free today? Also strange but are u able to pick me up x"

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 24 August 2015, 04:48:05 pm
LOL!!

Quote
Hi ****, my boss wants to book you for 30 minutes for an interview that will be featured in **very well known newspaper - you can guess!** . We are doing an article on an article for women who love watching porn. Your name and photo will be in the article and you will be compensated for your time which you can tell me what you charge for 30 minutes interview. Over 4 million people read this paper weekly so it could be great for your business since you can talk about also what you do for a living if you like.

Please let me know if you are interested and I'll put you in touch with my boss if you are.

Thanks

Not a booking request I will be accepting lol I'd need enough to live the rest of my life on to get me to do that!

Also, came from a gmail so thinking it could be a con... though not sure what the gain here is.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 24 August 2015, 05:33:26 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 24 August 2015, 04:48:05 pm
LOL!!

Quote
Hi ****, my boss wants to book you for 30 minutes for an interview that will be featured in **very well known newspaper - you can guess!** . We are doing an article on an article for women who love watching porn. Your name and photo will be in the article and you will be compensated for your time which you can tell me what you charge for 30 minutes interview. Over 4 million people read this paper weekly so it could be great for your business since you can talk about also what you do for a living if you like.

Please let me know if you are interested and I'll put you in touch with my boss if you are.

Thanks

Not a booking request I will be accepting lol I'd need enough to live the rest of my life on to get me to do that!

Also, came from a gmail so thinking it could be a con... though not sure what the gain here is.

It's a guy who gets off on women who watch porn, perhaps? But what if you DON'T watch porn, what if you actually HATE porn? That's where this "interview" might fall down ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 24 August 2015, 07:02:39 pm
Caller putting on a voice didn't sound genuine ..
Can we meet in the library for roleplay .
Can we have sex in the library do you think we could do that ?.
Me... yes I'll meet you there....  not !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 24 August 2015, 08:19:18 pm
Cat - also the 'my boss' comment makes me suspicious. The email was from a woman but 'she' has worded it so that the meeting will be with a man. All very dodgy sounding to me. I emailed back and told them I found it odd as google brings up nothing on the name or email address and that it's gmail and haven't had a reply.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 25 August 2015, 12:10:28 pm
Via text...why did I bother answering?
Him:Hi
Me:Hi
Him:How are you?
Me:Fine thanks.How can I help?
Him:Can you tell me what I am entitled to for ?10?
Me: A dominos pizza and maybe change for a bottle of baby oil so you can give yourself a wank.Goodbye.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 25 August 2015, 12:17:41 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 25 August 2015, 12:10:28 pm
Via text...why did I bother answering?
Him:Hi
Me:Hi
Him:How are you?
Me:Fine thanks.How can I help?
Him:Can you tell me what I am entitled to for ?10?
Me: A dominos pizza and maybe change for a bottle of baby oil so you can give yourself a wank.Goodbye.

Didn't realise they were entitled to anything  ???  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 25 August 2015, 12:35:57 pm
?10 won't get you much at dominos.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 25 August 2015, 12:39:53 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 25 August 2015, 12:35:57 pm
?10 won't get you much at dominos.
Hey its 2 for Tuesday at Dominos! ;D
He then went on to ask if I'd like to share his pizza as he didn't mind wanking himself..then followed up with fuk u ya fat mes...haha that's the point he won't be fucking me ever and probably not anyone else either. Amazing how they turn from polite but deluded to obnoxious and abusive in like 2 texts.Some real freaks out there never ceases to amaze me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 25 August 2015, 12:52:32 pm
Getting them all today.Just had a bloke ask if he could have 30 mins at 1;30 or 2pm.Agreed 2pm in the process of telling him my whereabouts and 3 times he interrupted asking if I could do earlier as he was setting off now.Told him to leave it.Can't be bothered with blokes who don't listen and talk over me when I'm trying to sort out the booking with them.Just rude and pushy.He then sent a text asking for my postcode..er I was trying to give him it when he was acting like a plonker.I don't think so.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 25 August 2015, 01:57:01 pm
Yes Bibi had one like that yesterday rang me I was explaining the address
'just send me postcode' bangs phone down.

Then 5 hours later he's still looking for someone silly
enough to accept him and rings me in the evening.

'Yeah, sure  I'll text you the address'
I say and go off to my nice dinner lol
(He was still texting all sad when I got back)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 25 August 2015, 02:37:44 pm
Just had a message saying he's thinking of booking me but needs my location so can he have a postcode or street name. Since when did you need such specifics just to arrange a booking?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 25 August 2015, 02:47:21 pm
Just strap a GPS locator on your ass so they can
track you via satellite. No need to call and bother
with pleasantries...
Just point the car and turn up. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 26 August 2015, 09:41:45 am
1st text, "Which one are you?"

I don't answer texts but do have an auto reply which says I don't and gives my website address.

2nd text (same number), "Are you available today?"

Maybe he's checked out the website.

Then he calls today and asks who I am...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 26 August 2015, 07:05:17 pm
3.34.  Hi
3.36.  U up?
3.38.  ??????
3.39.  ???
7 13.  Who is this?

Aye whatever pal. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Teddy Bear on 27 August 2015, 04:35:42 am
"Will you have a driver or be driving yourself?"

"I will have a driver but we are discreet so don't worry."

"I don't want strange cars on my street because of my neighbours!"

"Do you propose I teleport into your living room instead then so no neighbours see me? Or perhaps walk the 40 miles to your house and clippety clop down the street in my heels?"

"Is that possible?" :FF

I can't believe the stupidity of some people.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 27 August 2015, 07:39:41 pm
So I had someone arrange to book me yesterday but didn't put a booking through said he needed to do it on his computer so I assumed he'd do it shortly (this is how I ask them to confirm the booking time). He didn't do it so I didn't put it in my diary and I took another booking.

Told him when he messaged me 24 hours later and said I could see him an hour later than previously agreed (leaving me 30 minutes between bookings). He then messaged me saying he wasn't sure as changing the time would mean I'd have a booking before him... um, what?! What else would he expect for an evening booking?!

He also seemed surprised I hadn't held the time for him... if I did that I'd be forever turning down real bookings for TW.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 27 August 2015, 09:44:30 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent link=topic=1637.msg213545#msg213545 r TW.
[/quote
lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 28 August 2015, 12:50:06 am
I think this has to be a 'no'...

Are you available this Sunday in London?
What are your prices?
What is your weight and height?


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 28 August 2015, 10:31:20 am
Quote from: Midsstudent on 25 August 2015, 02:37:44 pm
Just had a message saying he's thinking of booking me but needs my location so can he have a postcode or street name. Since when did you need such specifics just to arrange a booking?
I seem to get this all the time, just as text or calls whats you postcode?, no introduction or pleasant conversation on the phone first, really off putting .. I don't book them, just hang up
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sensualmilf on 28 August 2015, 01:17:59 pm
Him: 'Hi, what are your prices?'
Me: 'My prices are on my profile; but they are.... XYZ'
Him: 'I've only got a fiver.'
Me: 'Happy days, sweetheart.' Phone goes down.

Next time I get asked what my prices are I am going to redirect them (oh so politely) to my profile to avoid TW cunts like this.

One thing I have observed though is that apparently if a client accesses VS from their phone, the prices are not always displayed.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 28 August 2015, 09:12:18 pm
^Yeah and if they access AW from their phone, they can't see most of the description on your profile which means my no same-day bookings after 7pm rule is rendered totally moot and I come across as a stuck up bitch for putting the phone down on people that break the rule. Whatever, if I was going to spend ?100+ on something I'd probably have a look at it from my laptop at least, so I can't imagine I've lost out on much by doing that. :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 28 August 2015, 11:35:17 pm
text convo:
Me - Please call back I missed your call.

Him - You know what...Go fuck yourself mother
         fucker poor bitch cheap miserable slut.

Him (5 minutes later) -  I am looking to have a 2
                                    hour session with yourself.

I only found it two weeks  later as I don't read texts if they don't call immediately.lol  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 29 August 2015, 09:36:02 am
Quote from: victoryrose on 28 August 2015, 09:12:18 pm
^Yeah and if they access AW from their phone, they can't see most of the description on your profile which means my no same-day bookings after 7pm rule is rendered totally moot and I come across as a stuck up bitch for putting the phone down on people that break the rule. Whatever, if I was going to spend ?100+ on something I'd probably have a look at it from my laptop at least, so I can't imagine I've lost out on much by doing that. :-\

Yes they can, but if you have tabs like me, they cba to click on them
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 29 August 2015, 01:16:55 pm
7am today

Hi...Is it ok for 1 shoot ?20???

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 29 August 2015, 04:11:47 pm
Quote from: cheesypeas on 28 August 2015, 11:35:17 pm
text convo:
Me - Please call back I missed your call.

Him - You know what...Go fuck yourself mother
         fucker poor bitch cheap miserable slut.

Him (5 minutes later) -  I am looking to have a 2
                                    hour session with yourself.

I only found it two weeks  later as I don't read texts if they don't call immediately.lol  ;D

I'd love to get one like that!  ;D Give me a laugh for the day if nothing else!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 01 September 2015, 12:39:57 pm
Quote from: victoryrose on 28 August 2015, 09:12:18 pm
^Yeah and if they access AW from their phone, they can't see most of the description on your profile which means my no same-day bookings after 7pm rule is rendered totally moot and I come across as a stuck up bitch for putting the phone down on people that break the rule. Whatever, if I was going to spend ?100+ on something I'd probably have a look at it from my laptop at least, so I can't imagine I've lost out on much by doing that. :-\
All they have to do is use their brains and click on the relevant tabs that give them all the info.I use the AW app and VS mobile sites and all the info is on there they just have to scroll or click so sheer silliness or laziness as per normal when it comes to reading profiles.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 01 September 2015, 02:27:34 pm
NO WAY you guys!! So many have told me that's not possible. Okay well no more sympathy from me. :P What total idiots.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 02 September 2015, 06:34:35 pm
I'm kinda pissed off.

This guy contacted me on Monday to arrange an outcall for tonight at 10.  Gave me the hotel name.  I said OK, gave him the details and asked him to get back to me with the room number once he's checked in.

Today he called me, and said he's been driving from another town and he thought it would take longer to get to where I lived.  I said just to text me when he's booked in and I'd look forward to meeting him at 10.  Then he goes 'Oh, I think we can do earlier than 10 now.'  I'm not free until 10,  I tell him this and he goes 'Oh, have you got another appointment'.  He actually sounded shocked/annoyed that I couldn't rearrange?

Do they think we have no lives and are just sitting waiting for them?

So now I'm thinking he probably won't text me the room number or have the booking.  Twat.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 02 September 2015, 07:18:19 pm
God I've just had another one.

Text me last week to arrange a booking for tomorrow, one hour social time and one hour private time.  I told him my rates but said if it was partly social and partly public I'd work something out for him....I thought it was obvious I meant I wouldn't be charging him for 2 hours at my full rate.

Anyway he messages me tonight to confirm, I do and say the rate will be xxxx

He responds 'Ha ha nice try, ?50 it is'.

I actually replied 'No sorry, lol'.  And I am never unprofessional like that, but my god, ?50 is less than even my half hour rate, for 2 hours?

I'm off to the gym now because I despair of these people.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 03 September 2015, 11:20:39 am
Text at 3am; "working? make an effort and come see me now"
I don't even do out-calls  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 03 September 2015, 03:44:51 pm
Email exchange a few days ago...

HIM: Is it possible to see you please

ME: You've not given me any information - when, where and what are you looking for please? Also, which site did you find me on?

HIM: Fulham west London you and me




That'll be a no  thanks, then. Wonder if he requests hair appointments like that? Or pizza deliveries?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 05 September 2015, 05:44:53 pm
Got sent an email on AW from a guy with 1 feedback at 13:44pm it was a one liner saying 'Can I grovel at ur feet?' Now aside from it looking like timewasting twaddle I was also in and out of bookings until around 5pm so didn't answer due to it sounding like bollocks and because I was busy..it says on my profile to ring if its a same day thing.At 5pm the clingy cheeky twat emailed again to ask if he had upset me!Sent him a polite but firm email back outlining that he hadn't really given any genuine sounding info i.e day/time etc and that if he is in such a rush to talk why not ring?And then I blocked him..timewastery,clingy and precious?Not for me thanks! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 05 September 2015, 08:47:11 pm
Quote from: Siorse on 03 September 2015, 11:20:39 am
Text at 3am; "working? make an effort and come see me now"
I don't even do out-calls  ::)

at 3am? He was probably drunk ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 05 September 2015, 09:02:40 pm
Phone Convo
Him: -Are you working?
Me: -Yes
Him: -I'm over in Oxford street
Me: -Yes
Him: -Hello
Me :-Yes
Him: -Hello
Me: Yes

I turn phone off.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 05 September 2015, 10:20:10 pm
Got these texts one after the other from the same guy;

5'4" Mick with decent sized dick is me babe. Bit rusty after splitting from ex she is (or last time i saw) 34FF. She did enjoy suckin and taking the lot, her record was 45 mins. What area are you and hows 2moro sound. P.s how big are urs?

Looking for quality Bj. Do you have large boobs, also if yes what are rates babe?

Is this Kate? Seeking large boobed female who enjoys giving decent nosh. Txt me rates and youre area plz

Then a couple of the obligatory cock pic's follow!

Is this Kate? Not wed'day or Sat'day. Don't mind ur hubby being present and you both enjoy! It would be fair to say I hope me  and ur fellas cocks are simular and that you like them both. If hes bigger or longer then fine (will see you get it) however if I surprise both of you then its a good day, all friends. Are you free sunday babe?


How could I resist?  ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 05 September 2015, 11:08:41 pm
Quote from: kate_x on 05 September 2015, 10:20:10 pm
Got these texts one after the other from the same guy;

5'4" Mick with decent sized dick is me babe. Bit rusty after splitting from ex she is (or last time i saw) 34FF. She did enjoy suckin and taking the lot, her record was 45 mins. What area are you and hows 2moro sound. P.s how big are urs?

Looking for quality Bj. Do you have large boobs, also if yes what are rates babe?

Is this Kate? Seeking large boobed female who enjoys giving decent nosh. Txt me rates and youre area plz

Then a couple of the obligatory cock pic's follow!

Is this Kate? Not wed'day or Sat'day. Don't mind ur hubby being present and you both enjoy! It would be fair to say I hope me  and ur fellas cocks are simular and that you like them both. If hes bigger or longer then fine (will see you get it) however if I surprise both of you then its a good day, all friends. Are you free sunday babe?


How could I resist?  ::)

another cringe worthy text ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 05 September 2015, 11:24:38 pm
Got 1 guy texting me from THREE different numbers!

First number;

him - text me when your open sexy
him - are you up for some bedroom fun love be in town around 12.30
me - please call as i wont respond to anymore texts
him (later that day) - well up for bedroom fun love
him (the next day) - are you up for a for good time sexy. you want it large
him (the day after) - will you be open saturday i would like some bedroom fun will you il treat you like a lady a prity lady you are thanks ian
him (a few days later) - are you open for some dirty aduilt fun love

Second number;

Took an appointment by telephone call, he's a no show so then store him in my phone as a tw and then a few days later I get a couple of texts

him - are you open for aduilt fun sexy
him later that day - are you up for some dirty wet aduilt bedroom fun


Third number - 2 texts on same day

him - hi are you open for bedroom fun love
and exactly the same one a few hours later


Arghhh is something dodgy going on here? Really feel like someone is messing me around (another wg maybe?) - 3 numbers ffs! Whoever it is leave me alone you idiot  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 05 September 2015, 11:30:45 pm
I'm just having a read through this thread and it's hilarious.. You wonder how some of them get through life!!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sensualmilf on 06 September 2015, 12:26:02 am
This thread always gives me a laugh before I go to sleep.

My ad is up in the town I'm touring in from Mon:

Text from him:  (My price) You've got to be joking.
                        I can get it for 80 at my local Travelodge
                        Sorry

 ??? Read, delete, block. It doesn't cross his nano -  brain that my prices are higher to avoid seeing clients like him  8)

Well I'm wondering how tiring it must be for the wg who is running up and down the stairs letting clients through the key carded door and having to get dressed and undressed constantly. I'm exhausted just thinking about it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 07 September 2015, 01:44:25 pm
-'What's your availability and location'

(On my profile but thought I'd be nice) '5-12'

'Are you available before 5'

If I was, I would have bloody said that  :FF

- 'Are you available for a night of fun with the horniest, filthiest 24 year old you'll ever meet in your life? X'
 
'No'

'Why does it say you're available today then? Time waster '

I then explained that yes I was available but only for people who want to make serious bookings and blocked. Should have blocked straight away really but I quite like the entertainment  ;D
 



 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 07 September 2015, 01:53:08 pm
I do wonder if any of these men have jobs where they need to read  think and communicate with others  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 07 September 2015, 02:10:26 pm
Quote from: sensualmilf on 28 August 2015, 01:17:59 pm
Him: 'Hi, what are your prices?'
Me: 'My prices are on my profile; but they are.... XYZ'
Him: 'I've only got a fiver.'
Me: 'Happy days, sweetheart.' Phone goes down.

Next time I get asked what my prices are I am going to redirect them (oh so politely) to my profile to avoid TW cunts like this.

One thing I have observed though is that apparently if a client accesses VS from their phone, the prices are not always displayed.  :FF
[/b]

a fiver ffsake, jackass. I was wondering about this too, as none of the guys I get through VS seem to know my prices. I ask if they are on a phone & most say on the PC  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 07 September 2015, 03:22:06 pm
AW message:

"but u dont do cum in mouth or swallow such a shame ur not gona catch anything u some women been doing for decades! i need something that the wifey cant give me. i can understand about being safe but the cocks u have to look out for is the ones with foreskin. the ones without foreskin r the safest because they dont carry bacteria or carry a nasty raw cheesy smell. i have no foreskin am bleesed thank god and i keep my self fully shaven to. and am married man so u know i am gona make sure am clean xx

i really wish u swallow i would spend all what i can get hold for u bbe xx"

So much no.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 07 September 2015, 03:26:18 pm
I actually think it's a kind of twisted love letter  :'(

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 07 September 2015, 05:11:54 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 07 September 2015, 03:22:06 pm
AW message:

"but u dont do cum in mouth or swallow such a shame ur not gona catch anything u some women been doing for decades! i need something that the wifey cant give me. i can understand about being safe but the cocks u have to look out for is the ones with foreskin. the ones without foreskin r the safest because they dont carry bacteria or carry a nasty raw cheesy smell. i have no foreskin am bleesed thank god and i keep my self fully shaven to. and am married man so u know i am gona make sure am clean xx

i really wish u swallow i would spend all what i can get hold for u bbe xx"

So much no.

Deluded, boundary pushing prick  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Usernamechanged on 07 September 2015, 08:41:43 pm
I got a message from the guy asking if I had a ginger pubed cunt again  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 07 September 2015, 09:11:09 pm
Here's a text I received last night...


I i have 24 and I love women beauty like you its possible to meet you ...just sex ..no chip? I missing but I don't have to pay you ..but I can make you happy..what you think
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 07 September 2015, 09:33:40 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 07 September 2015, 09:11:09 pm
Here's a text I received last night...


I i have 24 and I love women beauty like you its possible to meet you ...just sex ..no chip? I missing but I don't have to pay you ..but I can make you happy..what you think


 ??? ??? Hahaha what chip and how is he missing
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: phoenix77 on 07 September 2015, 09:50:53 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 24 August 2015, 06:05:21 am
"Hey are you free today? Also strange but are u able to pick me up x"

 ::)

lol this really cracked me up!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 08 September 2015, 08:50:35 am
Hi I am a 20yr old guy like your profile I know it says you don't see clients younger than 25 I hope you will make an exception for me !!!
nope I wont ... I got his mobile number and will be avoiding another timewaster
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 08 September 2015, 09:19:56 am
I recently seem to be getting a spate of emails off AW from a lad who is 16 asking if I will see him..blocked!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ms.Charlie on 08 September 2015, 09:34:35 am
Changed my postcode this morning and was got these in the first hour:

"Hi would it be ok to stick my tongue in your asshole ? Thanks"

"Smoke weed or take coke x"

Uggghhhh  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 08 September 2015, 12:24:46 pm
An obvious TW hit my inbox today. Obvious because 1) he's written his own script, 2) he's supposedly SUB yet is telling me - the DOM - what to do?!? 3) I don't do most of the things on his list of requirements (so has obviously not read my profile at all - copy and paste job), 4) he has hidden feedback and when you hover over the (0) you see he has 1 dispute. Anyone else received this?


Hi Mistress,

I was wondering if we could arrange a session with you in control dominating me?

What i would love would be for you to take control from the moment we meet. You order me to strip to ensure i am naked and vulnerable with you taking all of my clothes away and putting them into a bag. You then make it clear that unless i do as im told i wont get them back and i will be thrown out the door naked. This will ensure control is in your hands from the start and i will have to follow your instructions to the letter.

Maybe after the initial control being taken by you, you could explain to me that im your slave and i will do as you want or else. To maybe add further control / humiliation to this you could dress me up in a bra, panties and stockings? This would be even more humiliating being thrown out the door dressed like this if i do not follow orders?

I want you to be authoritative but also secretly delighted that you have your own plaything which you want to use for your pleasure. The fact that you get turned on by the power you have over the slave should come across, that you will use your slave for your pleasure (Whether its to lick you out, use to face sit, use to thrash with your whipping stick etc) means he is worth something to you, but at the same time you will throw him out the door naked if he doesn't agree to Anything you want.

You would take great joy out of humiliating me in any way so I need to really go out of my way to please you and do anything you want to avoid this from happening. I think once you initially have control over me (you fully dressed and me naked, without no clothes or dressed as a sissy as my Mistress has now taken them because me and everything i own is now her property) you will then have something / hold over me to ensure i do as you wish.

I would then love for the following activities to be included in the session:

- Tie up my balls

- Boot and foot worship (if you could have your toenails painted with red nail varnish that would be very sexy.)

- Water sports directly into the mouth (Maybe also fill up a glass with some to force me to drink later on in the session)

- Face slapping (repeatedly throughout the session to maintain control not letting me forget for one moment who is in control)

- Spanking (over your knee with my cock and / or balls squeezed in between your legs)

- Rimming (huge turn on and if verbal humiliation could be delivered while forcing me to do it that would be great and also multiple times throughout the session?)

- Strap-on (With a reasonably sized strap on (small to average))

- Sissy play (Dressing me up with a bra, panties and possibly stockings)

Could you let me know if you can cater for this request and how long you would need?

Regards

Jeff
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 08 September 2015, 12:29:18 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 08 September 2015, 12:24:46 pm
An obvious TW hit my inbox today. Obvious because 1) he's written his own script, 2) he's supposedly SUB yet is telling me - the DOM - what to do?!? 3) I don't do most of the things on his list of requirements (so has obviously not read my profile at all - copy and paste job), 4) he has hidden feedback and when you hover over the (0) you see he has 1 dispute. Anyone else received this?


Hi Mistress,

I was wondering if we could arrange a session with you in control dominating me?

What i would love would be for you to take control from the moment we meet. You order me to strip to ensure i am naked and vulnerable with you taking all of my clothes away and putting them into a bag. You then make it clear that unless i do as im told i wont get them back and i will be thrown out the door naked. This will ensure control is in your hands from the start and i will have to follow your instructions to the letter.

Maybe after the initial control being taken by you, you could explain to me that im your slave and i will do as you want or else. To maybe add further control / humiliation to this you could dress me up in a bra, panties and stockings? This would be even more humiliating being thrown out the door dressed like this if i do not follow orders?

I want you to be authoritative but also secretly delighted that you have your own plaything which you want to use for your pleasure. The fact that you get turned on by the power you have over the slave should come across, that you will use your slave for your pleasure (Whether its to lick you out, use to face sit, use to thrash with your whipping stick etc) means he is worth something to you, but at the same time you will throw him out the door naked if he doesn't agree to Anything you want.

You would take great joy out of humiliating me in any way so I need to really go out of my way to please you and do anything you want to avoid this from happening. I think once you initially have control over me (you fully dressed and me naked, without no clothes or dressed as a sissy as my Mistress has now taken them because me and everything i own is now her property) you will then have something / hold over me to ensure i do as you wish.

I would then love for the following activities to be included in the session:

- Tie up my balls

- Boot and foot worship (if you could have your toenails painted with red nail varnish that would be very sexy.)

- Water sports directly into the mouth (Maybe also fill up a glass with some to force me to drink later on in the session)

- Face slapping (repeatedly throughout the session to maintain control not letting me forget for one moment who is in control)

- Spanking (over your knee with my cock and / or balls squeezed in between your legs)

- Rimming (huge turn on and if verbal humiliation could be delivered while forcing me to do it that would be great and also multiple times throughout the session?)

- Strap-on (With a reasonably sized strap on (small to average))

- Sissy play (Dressing me up with a bra, panties and possibly stockings)

Could you let me know if you can cater for this request and how long you would need?

Regards

Jeff
I got this last night Cat! I blocked him as his zero feedback is hidden also obvious it was a copy and paste job x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 08 September 2015, 12:33:16 pm
Had soooooo many dick heads calling today! "You working babe" that sort of thing, no hi, hello nothing! I know it's been said before but honestly today they're all out idiots  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 08 September 2015, 12:37:25 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 08 September 2015, 12:29:18 pm

I got this last night Cat! I blocked him as his zero feedback is hidden also obvious it was a copy and paste job x

Oops! It was last night, just checked the time - obv I just picked it up today.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 08 September 2015, 12:42:07 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 08 September 2015, 12:37:25 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 08 September 2015, 12:29:18 pm

I got this last night Cat! I blocked him as his zero feedback is hidden also obvious it was a copy and paste job x

Oops! It was last night, just checked the time - obv I just picked it up today.
I did reply to him as corrie was boring me, I said I'd be happy to see him but he needs to make his feedback visible, of course that wasn't gonna happen! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 08 September 2015, 07:08:23 pm
Message on AW.

Hi I'm parked up for night on 'a retail park near me' looking to come for shower and play you located nearby x
 
well you should know my friend it's the same post code. Is it me he wants or the shower, I feel slighted.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 08 September 2015, 07:19:30 pm
Carmel, Sorry to break it...I think you were incidental lol  :)

Phone convo today
Him - I've been before a few weeks ago.
Me - Oh hello..who is it?
Him - The white guy
Me -   ???

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 08 September 2015, 07:41:10 pm
"Hey can I pound your tight little cunt tonight? Xx"   ::)
(After a really busy, dementing day.. NO, Fuck off)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 08 September 2015, 10:06:26 pm
Quote from: Siorse on 08 September 2015, 07:41:10 pm
"Hey can I pound your tight little cunt tonight? Xx"

"Sure you can! I'll text you when he gets back from the pub."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 08 September 2015, 10:23:46 pm
Hahaha - I'm going to borrow that one, Amy!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 09 September 2015, 08:34:00 am
Hey

I am looking for a beautiful companion to accompany me to a work dinner and to spend 1-2 nights at a spa hotel close to you
I'll pay ?2500 for the weekend; if you do agree to my terms.....I am a bit odd I have a hand and foot fetish...I would love to lick your fingers and toes.....they need to be painted red or pink preferably
Also I love licking a shaved pussy be drowned in juices, love to lick your fingers and pussy at the same time and the most I would prefer; if you would sit on my face ......and let me satisfy my thirst
I would need you to send me some pictures....a picture of your painted hand and toe nails, a picture of your shaved pussy and one in a long dress or gown, face preferable but not a must
See you soon
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PissedOffPrincess on 09 September 2015, 09:51:50 am
Haha this thread has cheered me up

Phone call this morning started off ok then got to asking do I have fancy underwear then crotchless knickers I told him he sounded like a typical timewaster and put the phone down

Next a guy who keeps texting asking to meet but refuses to call saying He thinks I'm not working today cos I wont answer his texts, today has time to improve

I have told texter he needs to call to book no text bookings
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 09 September 2015, 11:18:36 am
Quote from: amy on 08 September 2015, 10:06:26 pm
Quote from: Siorse on 08 September 2015, 07:41:10 pm
"Hey can I pound your tight little cunt tonight? Xx"

"Sure you can! I'll text you when he gets back from the pub."

LOL!! Wish I'd thought of that at the time!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 09 September 2015, 12:37:40 pm
Quote from: geordie on 07 September 2015, 01:44:25 pm
-'What's your availability and location'

(On my profile but thought I'd be nice) '5-12'

'Are you available before 5'

If I was, I would have bloody said that  :FF

- 'Are you available for a night of fun with the horniest, filthiest 24 year old you'll ever meet in your life? X'
 
'No'

'Why does it say you're available today then? Time waster '

I then explained that yes I was available but only for people who want to make serious bookings and blocked. Should have blocked straight away really but I quite like the entertainment  ;D

First guy again 'can I book you today but I can't do after 5 so it has to be before then' my availability today is the same 5-12, I work plenty of other days at different times.

'I don't work 24 hours a day, please respect my availability. If it isn't good for you then book on a day that is.' I'm sure they think that because we're escorts, we don't have a life. I wouldn't ring my doctors surgery and say oh you open at 8 but that isn't good for me can I come at 6 instead?  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 09 September 2015, 01:25:43 pm
Quote from: geordie on 09 September 2015, 12:37:40 pm
Quote from: geordie on 07 September 2015, 01:44:25 pm
-'What's your availability and location'

(On my profile but thought I'd be nice) '5-12'

'Are you available before 5'

If I was, I would have bloody said that  :FF

- 'Are you available for a night of fun with the horniest, filthiest 24 year old you'll ever meet in your life? X'
 
'No'

'Why does it say you're available today then? Time waster '

I then explained that yes I was available but only for people who want to make serious bookings and blocked. Should have blocked straight away really but I quite like the entertainment  ;D

First guy again 'can I book you today but I can't do after 5 so it has to be before then' my availability today is the same 5-12, I work plenty of other days at different times.

'I don't work 24 hours a day, please respect my availability. If it isn't good for you then book on a day that is.' I'm sure they think that because we're escorts, we don't have a life. I wouldn't ring my doctors surgery and say oh you open at 8 but that isn't good for me can I come at 6 instead?  :FF

Exactly this. 

To be honest quite a few of the things I read in this thread wouldn't really bother me, but of course we are all different.....but this drives me mad as I always feel it's just a boundary pushing and disrespect thing.  Some of them truely seem to believe we just sit there made up and in our hooker gear all day every day waiting for them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 09 September 2015, 01:43:04 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 09 September 2015, 01:25:43 pm
Quote from: geordie on 09 September 2015, 12:37:40 pm
Quote from: geordie on 07 September 2015, 01:44:25 pm
-'What's your availability and location'

(On my profile but thought I'd be nice) '5-12'

'Are you available before 5'

If I was, I would have bloody said that  :FF

- 'Are you available for a night of fun with the horniest, filthiest 24 year old you'll ever meet in your life? X'
 
'No'

'Why does it say you're available today then? Time waster '

I then explained that yes I was available but only for people who want to make serious bookings and blocked. Should have blocked straight away really but I quite like the entertainment  ;D

First guy again 'can I book you today but I can't do after 5 so it has to be before then' my availability today is the same 5-12, I work plenty of other days at different times.

'I don't work 24 hours a day, please respect my availability. If it isn't good for you then book on a day that is.' I'm sure they think that because we're escorts, we don't have a life. I wouldn't ring my doctors surgery and say oh you open at 8 but that isn't good for me can I come at 6 instead?  :FF

Exactly this. 

To be honest quite a few of the things I read in this thread wouldn't really bother me, but of course we are all different.....but this drives me mad as I always feel it's just a boundary pushing and disrespect thing.  Some of them truely seem to believe we just sit there made up and in our hooker gear all day every day waiting for them.

It gets worse once I'm back to uni, I get people asking me to take the day off to see them. How about no
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 09 September 2015, 05:20:30 pm
Oh I work full time and I get that too...'can't you phone in sick, why not?'  Erm, because it's my career that I love and have worked at for yonks and it's more important than you wanting to get your end away?

Anyhow on a different note, I've just started advertising on Viva Street again.

Texter:  'Hiya do you do incalls'
Me:  'No sorry'
Texter:  'Do you have anal and sex toys'


Sigh  It's going to be a long couple of days while all the serial timewasters get the 'new meat syndromme' out of their system....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 10 September 2015, 09:14:00 am
Just started showing my phone number again, lovely phone call just before 'are you working? Where are you? Send me the post code'

I said no, all information on how to book is on my profile

Text straight after 'what do you offer'.

That's a no from me
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 10 September 2015, 10:27:25 am
I just had to do it this morning, i am fed up with idiots...

Him:  How much for half an hour

Me: No

Him: Why?

Me: Because you are probably staring at my rates when you dialed my number.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 10 September 2015, 12:18:55 pm
Just had a text from a guy who is" coming right over to my place "and told me what to wear( he just has one small problem he must have called me by mistake) because I don't live in "the house he visited before" and as he hasn't asked for the postcode he's turning up someplace else ive no idea where lol !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Adele on 10 September 2015, 01:07:50 pm
Quote from: Fluffy Bunny on 10 September 2015, 10:27:25 am
I just had to do it this morning, i am fed up with idiots...

Him:  How much for half an hour
Me: No
Him: Why?
Me: Because you are probably staring at my rates when you dialed my number.

YES, exactly! I just had a call, 'so, price I see in the ad, xxx, is it non negotiable?' And the price he's trying to confirm is much lower then what he actually sees! Ughhh!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Siorse on 10 September 2015, 01:32:39 pm
Oh I hate those ones...!!  Can I get a BJ for ?20?  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 10 September 2015, 08:06:28 pm
received somewhere through the night when i switched my phone on tonight

Quote
you. 9.30. 2moro!

eh?

me what?  am or pm? eh no thanks.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sugarkane on 10 September 2015, 08:18:53 pm
Urghh! Just had some idiot contact me on AW asking if I could send a face pic. I politely declined and explained reasons why, and to check my feedback should he have any concerns.
He replies with well if I book you, would you be offended if I walked away at the door?!

Yes I would time-wasting prick!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 11 September 2015, 01:47:36 am

CALLER:  Are you available now for a meet?
ME: Yes I'm available today. 
CALLER:  What time could you be here?
ME:  Which area roughly are you in?
CALLER:  Sorry?
ME:  Which area roughly are you in, so that I can tell you when the soonest I could be there would be?'
CALLER:  Scotland.
ME:  Yes obviously, can you be a bit more specific?
CALLER:  Erm, Edinburgh?
ME:  You're going to have to be a bit more specific.....
CALLER:  (distant) erm....silence....click

 >:(  I guess at least he was in the right country!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 11 September 2015, 05:07:22 pm
Him:Hi u ok?U free?x
Me:Ring x
Him:Can't right now just leaving work.
Him:On bus home.What u up to?
Me:Sorry?Do I know you?
Why ask if I'm free then start texting about your journey home etc like I'm his mate.Knobhead.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 11 September 2015, 05:47:41 pm
I entertained myself by lowered my fees to
70 pounds an hour on AW to see who calls.
I've no intention of meeting lol.
My phone starts ringing... 3 men in 5 minutes.

One texts..
"I really enjoy giving oral and rimming.
French kissing face sitting and penetration.
Depending on how things go receiving some water sports."

They think the 'likes' are included! :o
I will continue the experiment at 30 pounds pr hr to see who bites... ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 11 September 2015, 07:09:44 pm
Are you sure that's a good idea?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 11 September 2015, 07:17:05 pm
Hi MS, I get 95% of work from my personal sites.
Just did it for the afternoon out of curiosity...market research. :)
Never depended on AW...lol  ;D

I switched it back to normal for now.lol  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 11 September 2015, 08:49:00 pm
Quote from: cheesypeas on 11 September 2015, 07:17:05 pm
Hi MS, I get 95% of work from my personal sites.
Just did it for the afternoon out of curiosity...market research. :)
Never depended on AW...lol  ;D

I switched it back to normal for now.lol  :D

Yeah I'm the same as you, AW isn't the be all and end all for me either. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 12 September 2015, 07:19:53 am
Quote from: Siorse on 10 September 2015, 01:32:39 pm
Oh I hate those ones...!!  Can I get a BJ for ?20?  >:(
I like to suggest they save themselves the money !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rentagirl on 12 September 2015, 02:03:38 pm
Just got a call from a guy and as soon as I answered he hung up...
Then I got a text shortly after that saying " il ring u bck"

Dickend calls back..
 
Dickend: hello will you be willing to work with me if I make a booking first?
Me: I'm not looking to work with anyone.
Dickend: but I'm looking to work with you as a couple
Me: sorry no I'm not interested
Dickend: ok nevermind

I calls me again 3 times so I answer for laughs.

Me: I'm still not looking for work.
Dickend: but why?
Me: because I'm not working with you for free
Dickend: why though? We could make good money.
Me: in not interested go find someone that wants to do this for free. Goodbye.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 12 September 2015, 03:11:45 pm
Text yesterday...

Hellou.ajem Adam39yer. polisz men from evesham nol spik englisz (site name) enju foto buiftifor ajlajk sex.

Then another text...

Hej jesterm polakiem 39lat iszukam wfasnie taliej osoby jak ty dozabawy jesli chetna odp.ja lubie wszystko jestem bi. idzis chce zaszalec. jestem z evesham.aty?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 12 September 2015, 07:13:06 pm
That's some spammy crap, I've had them too.  Takes you to a website that's all in Polish, as I don't speak it I don't know what they're trying to get me to sign up for.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kazzle on 13 September 2015, 12:11:20 pm
Quote
Hej jesterm polakiem 39lat iszukam wfasnie taliej osoby jak ty dozabawy jesli chetna odp.ja lubie wszystko jestem bi. idzis chce zaszalec. jestem z evesham.aty?

I stuck it in goolge translate and even it struggled to translate it -

"Hey jesterm Pole 39y.o. iszukam wfasnie Tali people like you dozabawy if Chetna odp.ja I like everything I'm bi. idzis he wants to splurge. I'm with evesham.aty?"

Though apparently he is a bi who likes everything. One of my rules is never trust a man who says he's into everything!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 13 September 2015, 01:50:30 pm
Rung then hung up.
I had to frightened him horribly with one of my 'special texts'.

He texts quicker than lightening:
"I've phoned u before and you've cut me off and
don't want speak to me several times."

Never heard from him again. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 13 September 2015, 02:08:20 pm
Quote from: cheesypeas on 13 September 2015, 01:50:30 pm
Rung then hung up.
I had to frightened him horribly with one of my 'special texts'.

He texts quicker than lightening:
"I've phoned u before and you've cut me off and
don't want speak to me several times."

Never heard from him again. ;D

What are your 'special texts'?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 13 September 2015, 02:10:15 pm
Totally polite and impersonal, related to phone tracking and personal ID  ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 13 September 2015, 02:31:59 pm
Quote from: cheesypeas on 13 September 2015, 02:10:15 pm
Totally polite and impersonal, related to phone tracking and personal ID  ;D

Yeah I can see how that would frighten them horribly!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 13 September 2015, 03:09:00 pm
Hi I want to see you are you free can I make a booking babe ?
Booking made
He calls back @20 mins later dosnt realise he's called me and says hi babe seen your advert
I like blondes (I'm brunette ) can I book you at exactly  same time he's scheduled to meet me lol fucking idiot .
I've cancelled his booking by text also !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seleranda on 13 September 2015, 05:25:31 pm
Quote from: jasmine89 on 19 May 2015, 10:10:32 pm
Received this message today:

I would like to book you for an hours meeting. Your price is way too high for what I want. I want to explore the following normal services and these include owo cim anal nothing strange just these services. I will book for an hour but what is important to me is chatting. Services will not take up the whole hour maybe only 30 minutes so I will only pay you for services as the rest of the time will be easy for you. If your services are good I am willing to pay you ?30 for the hour. I want to make this a regular thing. Let me know what you think

 :FF

I think he's extremely deluded. OMFG. The best of it all is that the ?30 is only if the services are good, which means he expects to pay at the end of the booking and if he thinks it's not good enough he's gonna give even less. Oh, and a regular thing... I don't think so. These guys that are SO demanding and expecting everything for a ridiculous amount make me feel sick.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 13 September 2015, 05:45:05 pm
Texts 'hi' every 10 minutes for the past two days. I did answer a couple of phone calls from him yesterday by mistake as hadn't saved the number, first phone call he asked me to text him so he could ring me when I was free? Not sure why he needed to hang up to call again lol. Then I somehow arranged a booking with him, realised who it was when I got off the phone so cancelled. Can only block the phone calls so still getting the continuous hi's now but it's actually quite amusing, he's started having a chat to himself via texts to me now ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 14 September 2015, 09:36:59 am
In the past week, I've had a few different potential clients asking if I'd keep used condoms from previous clients to use in a booking. I'm a little confused as to why this particular fetish is suddenly so popular and of course they are all boundary pushers as often when I say I don't offer that service they question me further as to why.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 14 September 2015, 10:44:36 am
Quote from: seleranda on 13 September 2015, 05:25:31 pm
Quote from: jasmine89 on 19 May 2015, 10:10:32 pm
Received this message today:

I would like to book you for an hours meeting. Your price is way too high for what I want. I want to explore the following normal services and these include owo cim anal nothing strange just these services. I will book for an hour but what is important to me is chatting. Services will not take up the whole hour maybe only 30 minutes so I will only pay you for services as the rest of the time will be easy for you. If your services are good I am willing to pay you ?30 for the hour. I want to make this a regular thing. Let me know what you think

 :FF

I think he's extremely deluded. OMFG. The best of it all is that the ?30 is only if the services are good, which means he expects to pay at the end of the booking and if he thinks it's not good enough he's gonna give even less. Oh, and a regular thing... I don't think so. These guys that are SO demanding and expecting everything for a ridiculous amount make me feel sick.

I always kind of wonder if the guys who send these emails are just on the wind up or trying to see what they can get you to do.  I bet if you said yes there would be a million reasons why they couldn't make a booking.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seleranda on 16 September 2015, 01:11:54 pm
Quote from: geordie on 09 September 2015, 01:43:04 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 09 September 2015, 01:25:43 pm
Quote from: geordie on 09 September 2015, 12:37:40 pm
Quote from: geordie on 07 September 2015, 01:44:25 pm
-'What's your availability and location'

(On my profile but thought I'd be nice) '5-12'

'Are you available before 5'

If I was, I would have bloody said that  :FF

- 'Are you available for a night of fun with the horniest, filthiest 24 year old you'll ever meet in your life? X'
 
'No'

'Why does it say you're available today then? Time waster '

I then explained that yes I was available but only for people who want to make serious bookings and blocked. Should have blocked straight away really but I quite like the entertainment  ;D

First guy again 'can I book you today but I can't do after 5 so it has to be before then' my availability today is the same 5-12, I work plenty of other days at different times.

'I don't work 24 hours a day, please respect my availability. If it isn't good for you then book on a day that is.' I'm sure they think that because we're escorts, we don't have a life. I wouldn't ring my doctors surgery and say oh you open at 8 but that isn't good for me can I come at 6 instead?  :FF

Exactly this. 

To be honest quite a few of the things I read in this thread wouldn't really bother me, but of course we are all different.....but this drives me mad as I always feel it's just a boundary pushing and disrespect thing.  Some of them truely seem to believe we just sit there made up and in our hooker gear all day every day waiting for them.

It gets worse once I'm back to uni, I get people asking me to take the day off to see them. How about no

Same here! As I have a quite complicated shedule (I'm available at different times depending on the day) they just tell me to miss a lecture or something. Sure, just for you.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seleranda on 16 September 2015, 01:21:15 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 14 September 2015, 10:44:36 am
Quote from: seleranda on 13 September 2015, 05:25:31 pm
Quote from: jasmine89 on 19 May 2015, 10:10:32 pm
Received this message today:

I would like to book you for an hours meeting. Your price is way too high for what I want. I want to explore the following normal services and these include owo cim anal nothing strange just these services. I will book for an hour but what is important to me is chatting. Services will not take up the whole hour maybe only 30 minutes so I will only pay you for services as the rest of the time will be easy for you. If your services are good I am willing to pay you ?30 for the hour. I want to make this a regular thing. Let me know what you think

 :FF

I think he's extremely deluded. OMFG. The best of it all is that the ?30 is only if the services are good, which means he expects to pay at the end of the booking and if he thinks it's not good enough he's gonna give even less. Oh, and a regular thing... I don't think so. These guys that are SO demanding and expecting everything for a ridiculous amount make me feel sick.

I always kind of wonder if the guys who send these emails are just on the wind up or trying to see what they can get you to do.  I bet if you said yes there would be a million reasons why they couldn't make a booking.

You're right but I'm pretty sure some of them are really trying their luck because they just don't care about us. Those are the kind of people to avoid at any rate.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 16 September 2015, 04:33:23 pm
I had a client during a booking ask if we can do another when I was supposed to be at uni, that it would turn him on me missing uni to screw him. I said a very clear, NO!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 16 September 2015, 10:23:25 pm
Amazing pics XXXXX x

Do you have any of your own feet/toes and are you able to suck your own toes? X

 ???


Couldn't resist the urge to reply 'I don't have any of my own feet or toes sorry'  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 16 September 2015, 11:29:47 pm
TWAT: Hi I'm looking for an hour's meet
ME:  OK, which area are you in?
TWAT:  In the car, yeah
ME:  Oh sorry, I don't do car meets
TWAT:  I'm sure it says that you do
ME:  No my profile says that I don't.
TWAT:  How much for 30 mins then?
ME:  I think you should go back and have a read over my profile hun
TWAT:  Oh sorry it's just that I've looked at so many.  But it does say you do car meets, you really should read it.
ME:  No, it says 'Sorry guys but I don't do outdoor or car meets'.  I don't need to read it because I wrote it!
TWAT;  Ok sorry

5 mins later I get a text 

TWAT:  So do you have a link to your profile then?

 :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 17 September 2015, 01:21:07 am
Quote from: Curvygal on 16 September 2015, 11:29:47 pm
TWAT: Hi I'm looking for an hour's meet
ME:  OK, which area are you in?
TWAT:  In the car, yeah
ME:  Oh sorry, I don't do car meets
TWAT:  I'm sure it says that you do
ME:  No my profile says that I don't.
TWAT:  How much for 30 mins then?
ME:  I think you should go back and have a read over my profile hun
TWAT:  Oh sorry it's just that I've looked at so many.  But it does say you do car meets, you really should read it.
ME:  No, it says 'Sorry guys but I don't do outdoor or car meets'.  I don't need to read it because I wrote it!
TWAT;  Ok sorry

5 mins later I get a text 

TWAT:  So do you have a link to your profile then?

 :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF

I had a client the other week copy and paste my whole profile to me because he was adamant my likes included anal. Even in the copy and paste job, nowhere did it say I offer anal. Some people just see what they want to see  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 17 September 2015, 01:25:14 am
Quote from: geordie on 17 September 2015, 01:21:07 am
Quote from: Curvygal on 16 September 2015, 11:29:47 pm
TWAT: Hi I'm looking for an hour's meet
ME:  OK, which area are you in?
TWAT:  In the car, yeah
ME:  Oh sorry, I don't do car meets
TWAT:  I'm sure it says that you do
ME:  No my profile says that I don't.
TWAT:  How much for 30 mins then?
ME:  I think you should go back and have a read over my profile hun
TWAT:  Oh sorry it's just that I've looked at so many.  But it does say you do car meets, you really should read it.
ME:  No, it says 'Sorry guys but I don't do outdoor or car meets'.  I don't need to read it because I wrote it!
TWAT;  Ok sorry

5 mins later I get a text 

TWAT:  So do you have a link to your profile then?

 :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF

I had a client the other week copy and paste my whole profile to me because he was adamant my likes included anal. Even in the copy and paste job, nowhere did it say I offer anal. Some people just see what they want to see  ???

It's thoroughly bizarre isn't it?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 17 September 2015, 02:12:12 am
Quote from: geordie on 16 September 2015, 10:23:25 pm
Amazing pics XXXXX x

Do you have any of your own feet/toes and are you able to suck your own toes? X

 ???


Couldn't resist the urge to reply 'I don't have any of my own feet or toes sorry'  ;D

 ;D ;D ;D What the actual fuck??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 17 September 2015, 05:47:06 am
Had a call Tuesday,
caller ..  do you see cross dressers?
me  yes sure
caller... I want to be fucked and handled badly by a man can you do this for me ?
me  why are you called a female escort then?
caller...oh sorry I thought you could find a man for me
  me no go look for a male escort  instead  bye  ::)   
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 17 September 2015, 08:12:53 am
Had an amusing phone call last night, first one to have no clue who I was...

Idiot: hi you text me earlier about an outcall
Me: no I didn't, think you've rang the wrong person
Idiot: oh well can you do an outcall now?
Me: no I've finished now, availability is on my profile
Idiot: oh errrrr
Me: do you know which one I am?
Idiot: long pause.... I do now!
Me: I take it you just have a look
Idiot: yes, erm I seen a student escort last year called Adele, do you know her?
Me: I don't know every escort in the north east! Bye now
Idiot: can I book you then?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 17 September 2015, 09:59:16 am
Quote from: Erotic Flower on 17 September 2015, 05:47:06 am
Had a call Tuesday,
caller ..  do you see cross dressers?
me  yes sure
caller... I want to be fucked and handled badly by a man can you do this for me ?
me  why are you called a female escort then?
caller...oh sorry I thought you could find a man for me
  me no go look for a male escort  instead  bye  ::)
I've had the exact same call a couple of weeks ago probably the same bloke.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 17 September 2015, 05:43:27 pm
Does anyone else get put off by a client saying he's horny when trying to book? No idea why it bothers me but it just really puts me off wanting to see them...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 17 September 2015, 06:18:30 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 17 September 2015, 05:43:27 pm
Does anyone else get put off by a client saying he's horny when trying to book? No idea why it bothers me but it just really puts me off wanting to see them...

Yes. Completely ....he'll be having a date with his hand if he says that.
Cause he won't be at mine.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 17 September 2015, 06:32:46 pm
As much as anything, it's surely stating the bleeding obvious?!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 18 September 2015, 12:09:43 am
hi love, fancy a meet after 2pm tomorrow?  really wanna smash you're back doors in x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 18 September 2015, 01:43:15 am
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 18 September 2015, 12:09:43 am
hi love, fancy a meet after 2pm tomorrow?  really wanna smash you're back doors in x

How could you resist?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 18 September 2015, 03:56:17 am
i'm not sure if it was the comment about smashing my back doors in or the spelling of "youre" that attracted me the most to be honest  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 18 September 2015, 02:17:18 pm
I got a text this morning asking for a 5 day booking offering me 50k with 25k up front... what is the point of that? It's obviously bullshit, but why??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: victoryrose on 18 September 2015, 02:24:20 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 18 September 2015, 02:17:18 pm
I got a text this morning asking for a 5 day booking offering me 50k with 25k up front... what is the point of that? It's obviously bullshit, but why??

I got that too! So weird as we're in completely different parts of the country.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 18 September 2015, 02:33:56 pm
That is weird...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 18 September 2015, 03:31:26 pm
I just had a guy try to make a booking but when I tried to give him my postcode he was adamant I should give him a landmark near my house (there really isn't anything of note) and wouldn't even take my road name because apparently he's rubbish at using the internet? He then said he would be getting a taxi so I said then just the driver the postcode, he blathered on a bit more before I called him on it and said I didn't think it was going to work.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 18 September 2015, 05:22:31 pm
Similar here Red.
A two minute walk interrupted my directions 3 times, bleating
 'what's the house number I'll find it myself'.

Me 'You keep interrupting me,  find it your way I'm not interested'.
Texts me with 'sorry sorry sorry'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 18 September 2015, 08:03:44 pm
So, I get a call from this guy when I tell him I'm fully booked and the best way to reach me is via AW, he insists on me giving him permission to email me. I tell him my profile says it's the best way to reach me and he tells me he can't read. After all this I get this email:

Quote
hello

please can u reply to this email

1can u u strip seach me p!ease can u exp!ain how u do that to me

2 can u do anal play on me

3 can u wash md before u spank me

and after u have do anal play

4 i had a lower neck and spine op in 2011

5 can u use a strap on on me please can you

explain how and where you would put it on me

6 can you wee in my mouth please can you

explain how you would do it to me
7 can you only spank me medium

8 can I do any anything to you in the service

9 how far away from the train station r u

10 can you do a 800 meet with me

11 I hope to hear from you very soon

Then he tries to call me again. What the actual fuck?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 18 September 2015, 10:10:19 pm
It's National Guys Who Won't Listen Day.
He rings, books and says, '...See you there' and slams
down the phone before I give him the address.
Two  minutes later I book another chap.

Soon Mr Slammy texts me that he's in a cab and needs the address.
I ignore, I hate texts anyway.

He arrives at the tube station and rings...all expectant.
Too bad.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 September 2015, 01:03:02 am
Something in the water today for sure.Got an email asking to meet tomorrow when every advert tells them I don't work on Sundays then just got an email from a chap asking me what ages I am happy to meet with. I notice he doesn't state his age when asking so my gut feeling was timewaster but I answered anyway and told him 21 and over.Can't you make an exception he asks (yeah mate just for you..) I reply politely and confirm what I've already said.Ok I won't pester you he answers me (like why would you when I've stated my position twice?) but then sends an email asking what age is the youngest I have seen because he is curious...feck off dipstick! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 20 September 2015, 02:00:12 pm
Have recieved  very long pointless emails this weekend  no bookings just bullshit!
Where do they find the time to write all that nonsense ?! ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 20 September 2015, 04:38:19 pm
3 texts when I turned my phone on today:

One at 5.05 this morning:  Are you near **?  (Major road where all the bars and clubs are) - No mate I'm at home in bed sleeping

Next guy:

7.57 :  It's not connecting??? - Before 8am on a Sunday morning?  Hmmm wonder why.

8.05:  Well can I book?? -
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 21 September 2015, 12:33:20 am
It's been a weird old day today, no genuine bookings but a whole load of timewasters.

Guy wants an incall.

Me: Sorry I'm not actually doing incalls today, I can do an outcall or my next day doing incalls is tomorrow. 
Him:  Ah my girlfriend will probably be sorting me out tomorrow.  Maybe.

I almost spat my diet coke out.  Speechless.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 21 September 2015, 02:18:36 am
not strictly escort but i was on cam earlier and one lovely young man asked me if i would seductively eat my boogers for him!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tinkerbell on 21 September 2015, 08:47:18 am
Someone I've never heard of before, 'Paulo', has messaged me this morning to say that he gets to England tomorrow and will allow me to swallow 2 loads of his cum. How thoroughly bloody decent of him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 21 September 2015, 01:34:37 pm
Quote from: Tinkerbell on 21 September 2015, 08:47:18 am
Someone I've never heard of before, 'Paulo', has messaged me this morning to say that he gets to England tomorrow and will allow me to swallow 2 loads of his cum. How thoroughly bloody decent of him.

Genuinely laughing my tits off here!!!!! :D :D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 21 September 2015, 01:58:33 pm
"I'm looking for someone on Wednesday who can give me a good fucking. Nothing mechanical, in fact someone who is willing to relax me and the repeatedly fuck and suck me until we can go no more. Ideal scenario:

I have to visit your house for some reason maybe a delivery or whatever. When there, you decide that your going to have me. You make a pass at me and then we go on a afternoon journey. There's no rush, you want me to explore your body, do things that you've always dreamed of doing. We can fuck I the living room, kitchen, wherever then you will lead me up into your bed. We will get under the covers and properly fuck. You will be insatiable, however I cum and there will be no rush, you will expect, demand that I continue pleasing you with my hands, tounge toys etc. you will insist on me handling your tits, milking them etc.

If you're the sort of girl who works from home (a nice clean place) that we can use properly for the session then I'm interested

I want to pay for the experience not the time so quote me."

I simply replied that I couldn't help! Thing is I recognised his user name and he'd actually visited me when I first started without any of this crappy nonsense.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 21 September 2015, 02:40:04 pm
My house is pretty small, but it annoys me when clients ask to use my living room. I just think... No, it's my private space!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 21 September 2015, 03:46:02 pm
After explaining i am fully booked till sat
"what time do you finish ?i have enough money to perhaps persuade you to make time for me. age has some benifits

er first come first served fuck off!!
honestly im booked all week and most have had at least 8 enquires today READ THE FUCKING PAGE!!! GRRR
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 21 September 2015, 07:17:54 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 21 September 2015, 02:40:04 pm
My house is pretty small, but it annoys me when clients ask to use my living room. I just think... No, it's my private space!

Me too! Had a regular a few weeks ago who wanted to lick me out in every room in my flat, living room, bedrooms, kitchen you name it and then guy last week who comes for a spanking wanted it in the living room as he "liked the natural environment" lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 22 September 2015, 04:11:39 pm
And the winner of today's wanker of the day award....

'' Hi I'm calling on behalf of my friend, I'm just basically trying to get him some cheap sex'.

I politely informed him that there's nothing cheap about me and hung up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 22 September 2015, 04:18:39 pm
Hi I'm looking for someone who can take my fat 12 incher
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 22 September 2015, 04:23:32 pm
Put a post on my work Twitter saying it's my birthday soon and what shall I do, a 'client' retweeted asking if I'd like to go to Paris for 2 days.. Blah blah and discussions of deposits, I asked him to mail me on aw for the details and he sent

'Fuck me you're beautiful! Delicious! Ravishing! Sublime! Captivating! J'adore!

You strike me as a woman who knows her own body and mind, and demands a lot of both, and someone who likes to be pushed, have her limits tested.

Will try and keep track of you so if you have Skype/twitter so I can keep up with when you're online (no I'm not after a free cam!) would be great.
Otherwise will have to hope our paths cross some time soon, because right now id love nothing more than to tear off your knickers and gag you with them, binding your hands behind your back as I plant my feet firmly behind you, roll up my sleeves and pushing my thumb into your ass, fingers into your pussy gripping your pelvic floor deep...
anyway
you asked for an e mail...so there we go :P
x'

He has 4 aliases and no feedback so I mentioned this asking if he is a genuine punter..

'I am..and like I said., i'll put a ?500 deposit down just before we discuss'

Me thinks I have a fantasist on my hands  :D


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 22 September 2015, 04:27:01 pm
err well that's a nice romantic break he's got planned... ???
Is that the foreplay?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 22 September 2015, 04:30:14 pm
Quote from: cheesypeas on 22 September 2015, 04:27:01 pm
err well that's a nice romantic break he's got planned...

Yes definitely. And also it's quite clearly a copy and paste job since we were already in contact on Twitter and have already spoke about cam (I don't do it). I'm bored so I've asked him to tell me what he'd like from the booking before any talk of deposits to see if we are compatible. I think not  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 22 September 2015, 04:32:05 pm
Yack!I think I'd rather stick pins in my eyes!
Just had a down right pointless call.
Him:Hi my name is (Mr Pointless)
Me:Hi there
Him:I was just wondering if you will be around next week or are you finishing on Friday?
Me:Um well I'm not on tour or planning to retire.I'm based in Leeds and am available pretty much every week?!?
Him:Oh thats good I'll ring you next week then as you won't want to give me any information now.
Me:Um all righty then.... ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 22 September 2015, 04:41:44 pm
Geordie, Crazy ass.. fantasy merchants...keeps them
off the streets I suppose.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 22 September 2015, 05:16:03 pm
"Can you administer the cane?"
me - Well I never have before but I would do that
"Do you need any painting or decorating doing?"
me - Nope!
"Oh you don't...bye"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 22 September 2015, 05:23:22 pm
Quote from: cheesypeas on 22 September 2015, 04:41:44 pm
Geordie, Crazy ass.. fantasy merchants...keeps them
off the streets I suppose.

Yes fantasy boy has gave up surprisingly quick after his attempts to impress me by being 'more Dom than 50 shades' didn't work   ;D

It's a shame really as I had already imaginary spent the imaginary ?500 deposit
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 22 September 2015, 05:58:54 pm
"are you available for your special offer?"

Confirmed I am, sent details, then this:

"On way. xx"
"Sex included ye x ?"

Yes, I really want to include sex in 15 minutes for less than half the price of the usual 15 mins bj only quickie.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 23 September 2015, 02:56:22 pm
3 texts from the same guy this morning about an hour between each:

'Hib ***, you in (a place near me, spelt VERY wrong) today to meet uo'

'Meet'

'Meet now'

... ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 23 September 2015, 03:03:39 pm
Quote from: geordie on 22 September 2015, 04:23:32 pm
Put a post on my work Twitter saying it's my birthday soon and what shall I do, a 'client' retweeted asking if I'd like to go to Paris for 2 days.. Blah blah and discussions of deposits, I asked him to mail me on aw for the details and he sent

'Fuck me you're beautiful! Delicious! Ravishing! Sublime! Captivating! J'adore!

You strike me as a woman who knows her own body and mind, and demands a lot of both, and someone who likes to be pushed, have her limits tested.

Will try and keep track of you so if you have Skype/twitter so I can keep up with when you're online (no I'm not after a free cam!) would be great.
Otherwise will have to hope our paths cross some time soon, because right now id love nothing more than to tear off your knickers and gag you with them, binding your hands behind your back as I plant my feet firmly behind you, roll up my sleeves and pushing my thumb into your ass, fingers into your pussy gripping your pelvic floor deep...
anyway
you asked for an e mail...so there we go :P
x'

He has 4 aliases and no feedback so I mentioned this asking if he is a genuine punter..

'I am..and like I said., i'll put a ?500 deposit down just before we discuss'

Me thinks I have a fantasist on my hands  :D

Did I read that right?  He wants to put his thumb up your ass and grip your pelvic floor deep with his fingers?  That sounds like some kind of nightmare internal that the hospital would have to do.

I think I threw up a little bit in my mouth.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 24 September 2015, 03:23:51 pm
From another escort on AW (she genuinely has 19 positive feedback and has been on the site for two years).

Her: hey hun!x
Me: (ignored at first, then thought maybe she wanted to ask something) Hey, can I help you with something ? :) x
Her: Travel to southend?x
Me: I could do, may I ask why?
Her: Me and bf want a threesomex
(Ignored)

As an escort wanting to make a booking, she should know if you're genuine this isn't how the email exchange should progress. After checking out her profile again it has a little warning at the top of the page. Confusing, or perhaps someone has gotten a hold of the profile.

x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 24 September 2015, 04:34:04 pm
The warning just means she hasn't verified her profile. Some people choose not to.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 24 September 2015, 06:13:23 pm
Regular called and asks for a booking tonight.  We arrange 11.30pm. All's good.

Then he comes out with 'If you bring a bottle of wine I'll reimburse you, and I'll have to go to the cashline after as I don't get paid until midnight, that OK?'

I politely informed him that things don't work that way, he has to pay first, then I get 'Don't you trust me?'....erm, that'll be another no.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 24 September 2015, 06:19:21 pm
'When Regulars Go Bad' The movie, book and T Shirt :(....Curves
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LovePod on 24 September 2015, 06:34:54 pm
Quote from: geordie on 22 September 2015, 04:23:32 pm
Put a post on my work Twitter saying it's my birthday soon and what shall I do, a 'client' retweeted asking if I'd like to go to Paris for 2 days.. Blah blah and discussions of deposits, I asked him to mail me on aw for the details and he sent

'Fuck me you're beautiful! Delicious! Ravishing! Sublime! Captivating! J'adore!

You strike me as a woman who knows her own body and mind, and demands a lot of both, and someone who likes to be pushed, have her limits tested.

Will try and keep track of you so if you have Skype/twitter so I can keep up with when you're online (no I'm not after a free cam!) would be great.
Otherwise will have to hope our paths cross some time soon, because right now id love nothing more than to tear off your knickers and gag you with them, binding your hands behind your back as I plant my feet firmly behind you, roll up my sleeves and pushing my thumb into your ass, fingers into your pussy gripping your pelvic floor deep...
anyway
you asked for an e mail...so there we go :P
x'

He has 4 aliases and no feedback so I mentioned this asking if he is a genuine punter..

'I am..and like I said., i'll put a ?500 deposit down just before we discuss'

Me thinks I have a fantasist on my hands  :D

Yes you have Geordie, I have received exactly the same email from him 2 days ago, I just ignored it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 24 September 2015, 06:51:45 pm
Text as it was written;

"HI YOU ESCORT AM IN FILTHY MOOD GIVE ME PRICE IL PHONE IN 2 DAYS TIME"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 24 September 2015, 08:44:28 pm
Quote from: LovePod on 24 September 2015, 06:34:54 pm
Quote from: geordie on 22 September 2015, 04:23:32 pm
Put a post on my work Twitter saying it's my birthday soon and what shall I do, a 'client' retweeted asking if I'd like to go to Paris for 2 days.. Blah blah and discussions of deposits, I asked him to mail me on aw for the details and he sent

'Fuck me you're beautiful! Delicious! Ravishing! Sublime! Captivating! J'adore!

You strike me as a woman who knows her own body and mind, and demands a lot of both, and someone who likes to be pushed, have her limits tested.

Will try and keep track of you so if you have Skype/twitter so I can keep up with when you're online (no I'm not after a free cam!) would be great.
Otherwise will have to hope our paths cross some time soon, because right now id love nothing more than to tear off your knickers and gag you with them, binding your hands behind your back as I plant my feet firmly behind you, roll up my sleeves and pushing my thumb into your ass, fingers into your pussy gripping your pelvic floor deep...
anyway
you asked for an e mail...so there we go :P
x'

He has 4 aliases and no feedback so I mentioned this asking if he is a genuine punter..

'I am..and like I said., i'll put a ?500 deposit down just before we discuss'

Me thinks I have a fantasist on my hands  :D

Yes you have Geordie, I have received exactly the same email from him 2 days ago, I just ignored it.

Oh I thought it was especially for me for my birthday!  :(

I blocked him on aw so he's been messaging me on Twitter again asking if I'm still up for it. I simply said I don't think he's a genuine punter and if he wants to book a short booking, he can. But obviously that will never happen in a million years (thank god)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 25 September 2015, 12:44:31 am
Quote from: cheesypeas on 24 September 2015, 06:19:21 pm
'When Regulars Go Bad' The movie, book and T Shirt :(....Curves

Honestly it happens so often doesn't it?  The end of the story was he text me at 00.11 to find out if I'm free on Sunday, because obviously I was right as salaries don't go in bang on midnight so he couldn't pay.

On the flip side, he's a bit of a young cheapskate-y one, so there are regulars I'd be more gutted to lose.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 25 September 2015, 01:00:39 am
Just when I thought I'd seen it all, I've just been sent a questionnaire.  I'd been talking to this guy and all was going well, he seemed nice and friendly.  Then I got this:

At the risk of sounding rude I'd like to ask you a few questions:

-What is your weight?
-Do you smoke
-Do you work in an office in xxxx and what profession do you work in?
-Which area do you live in?

What the fuck?  I messaged him back saying I didn't appreciate the change of tone and where I live and work is irrelevant, and wished him a good evening.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 25 September 2015, 01:15:58 am
Hi, I would like to book you on Maybe Friday or Saturday or some day this month , would you be free?

I'm no more sure if I would be free as you are on when you want to see me. 

*IGNORED*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 25 September 2015, 01:47:08 pm
Phone rang like 3 times and then they seemed to go to my voicemail. When I went to listen to the voicemail the guy just left this 'Fuck you you fat bitch'
hmmm no mate I don't think somehow you will be...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 26 September 2015, 04:23:45 pm
'Will you stick your big toe up my ass lol'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 26 September 2015, 06:37:46 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 26 September 2015, 04:23:45 pm
'Will you stick your big toe up my ass lol'

Reminds me of a bloke who kept trying to stick his big toe up my vagina  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 26 September 2015, 07:41:56 pm
Hi I ve seen you before can I come by this morning trouble is I will have to owe you the money and
Give it to you tomorrow  is that ok with you ?
I didn't bother replying  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 26 September 2015, 10:19:14 pm
Quote from: Erotic Flower on 26 September 2015, 07:41:56 pm
Hi I ve seen you before can I come by this morning trouble is I will have to owe you the money and
Give it to you tomorrow  is that ok with you ?
I didn't bother replying  ::)

Wow, that's a new version of special!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kazzle on 27 September 2015, 12:04:28 pm
Was deleting old texts off my phone when I came across this one

"Do your prices include lube?" ???

I don't know if he was expecting me to charge per squirt of lube or would knock off a bit if he brought his own. Men really confuse me sometimes!



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 27 September 2015, 12:55:48 pm
Quote from: geordie on 26 September 2015, 06:37:46 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 26 September 2015, 04:23:45 pm
'Will you stick your big toe up my ass lol'

Reminds me of a bloke who kept trying to stick his big toe up my vagina  :-X

Yeah I've had that too - where to they get the idea that we would like these things?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 27 September 2015, 01:25:57 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 27 September 2015, 12:55:48 pm
Quote from: geordie on 26 September 2015, 06:37:46 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 26 September 2015, 04:23:45 pm
'Will you stick your big toe up my ass lol'

Reminds me of a bloke who kept trying to stick his big toe up my vagina  :-X

Yeah I've had that too - where to they get the idea that we would like these things?

No idea, but it's always the ones who have black toenails that are practically curling with the length  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 27 September 2015, 02:06:11 pm

This is a particularly sweet email  ;D. Gota love em In Dubai they are nothing if not creative

 you are amazing godess, i want to smell your sweaty body , your armpits, your breasts and smell your sweaty panty , when i meet i want you to not clean after shit , and ask me to smell your ass , then i want you to dance on toilet , shit and ask me to smell your shit , then i want you to slap my face , spit a lot in mouth , and make me smell fart , then finish with pissing in my mouth , all the time i will call you my love my godess , no sex , will you do ? how much ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 27 September 2015, 02:33:15 pm
Quote from: Erotic Flower on 26 September 2015, 07:41:56 pm
Hi I ve seen you before can I come by this morning trouble is I will have to owe you the money and
Give it to you tomorrow  is that ok with you ?
I didn't bother replying  ::)

This just proves that they think we are thick.  ::) Another stereotype of prostitutes. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 27 September 2015, 02:36:03 pm
Quote from: ParisB on 27 September 2015, 02:06:11 pm

This is a particularly sweet email  ;D. Gota love em In Dubai they are nothing if not creative

 you are amazing godess, i want to smell your sweaty body , your armpits, your breasts and smell your sweaty panty , when i meet i want you to not clean after shit , and ask me to smell your ass , then i want you to dance on toilet , shit and ask me to smell your shit , then i want you to slap my face , spit a lot in mouth , and make me smell fart , then finish with pissing in my mouth , all the time i will call you my love my godess , no sex , will you do ? how much ?

This made me laugh so hard
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 27 September 2015, 04:35:25 pm
Quote from: ParisB on 27 September 2015, 02:06:11 pm

This is a particularly sweet email  ;D. Gota love em In Dubai they are nothing if not creative

 you are amazing godess, i want to smell your sweaty body , your armpits, your breasts and smell your sweaty panty , when i meet i want you to not clean after shit , and ask me to smell your ass , then i want you to dance on toilet , shit and ask me to smell your shit , then i want you to slap my face , spit a lot in mouth , and make me smell fart , then finish with pissing in my mouth , all the time i will call you my love my godess , no sex , will you do ? how much ?

How could you resist  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 27 September 2015, 05:38:00 pm
Quote from: Shania on 27 September 2015, 02:33:15 pm
Quote from: Erotic Flower on 26 September 2015, 07:41:56 pm
Hi I ve seen you before can I come by this morning trouble is I will have to owe you the money and
Give it to you tomorrow  is that ok with you ?
I didn't bother replying  ::)

This just proves that they think we are thick.  ::) Another stereotype of prostitutes.

Totally with you on the stereotypes thing, alls that is missing with this is asking if she can get him some coke or if she'd like to buy some- why do these fools think we're all dumb, take class A drugs and have more money than sense??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 27 September 2015, 05:54:14 pm
Quote from: BJC on 27 September 2015, 05:38:00 pm
Quote from: Shania on 27 September 2015, 02:33:15 pm
Quote from: Erotic Flower on 26 September 2015, 07:41:56 pm
Hi I ve seen you before can I come by this morning trouble is I will have to owe you the money and
Give it to you tomorrow  is that ok with you ?
I didn't bother replying  ::)
I never heard from him again since maybe I shall ask for money and owe them sex !!!

This just proves that they think we are thick.  ::) Another stereotype of prostitutes.

Totally with you on the stereotypes thing, alls that is missing with this is asking if she can get him some coke or if she'd like to buy some- why do these fools think we're all dumb, take class A drugs and have more money than sense??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 28 September 2015, 10:31:09 am
Quote from: ParisB on 27 September 2015, 02:06:11 pm

This is a particularly sweet email  ;D. Gota love em In Dubai they are nothing if not creative

 you are amazing godess, i want to smell your sweaty body , your armpits, your breasts and smell your sweaty panty , when i meet i want you to not clean after shit , and ask me to smell your ass , then i want you to dance on toilet , shit and ask me to smell your shit , then i want you to slap my face , spit a lot in mouth , and make me smell fart , then finish with pissing in my mouth , all the time i will call you my love my godess , no sex , will you do ? how much ?

This is the funiest one I've read in a long time, I laughed way too hard.

You're an amazing Godess....now shit and piss in my mouth Godess!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: International Whore on 28 September 2015, 10:42:09 am
Quote from: Curvygal on 28 September 2015, 10:31:09 am
Quote from: ParisB on 27 September 2015, 02:06:11 pm

This is a particularly sweet email  ;D. Gota love em In Dubai they are nothing if not creative

 you are amazing godess, i want to smell your sweaty body , your armpits, your breasts and smell your sweaty panty , when i meet i want you to not clean after shit , and ask me to smell your ass , then i want you to dance on toilet , shit and ask me to smell your shit , then i want you to slap my face , spit a lot in mouth , and make me smell fart , then finish with pissing in my mouth , all the time i will call you my love my godess , no sex , will you do ? how much ?

Whats this toilet dance he speaks of ??? ??? lol
This is the funiest one I've read in a long time, I laughed way too hard.

You're an amazing Godess....now shit and piss in my mouth Godess!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 28 September 2015, 06:16:04 pm
Quote from: geordie on 27 September 2015, 04:35:25 pm
Quote from: ParisB on 27 September 2015, 02:06:11 pm

This is a particularly sweet email  ;D. Gota love em In Dubai they are nothing if not creative

 you are amazing godess, i want to smell your sweaty body , your armpits, your breasts and smell your sweaty panty , when i meet i want you to not clean after shit , and ask me to smell your ass , then i want you to dance on toilet , shit and ask me to smell your shit , then i want you to slap my face , spit a lot in mouth , and make me smell fart , then finish with pissing in my mouth , all the time i will call you my love my godess , no sex , will you do ? how much ?

 
How could you resist  ;D

 With great difficulty - ive been asked to shit, piss, and fuck ass so much im immune to it all goes right  over my head 

The TW in the UK have nothing on the ME guys they are in a class of there own they are up there with the Irish Guys for creativity and head fuckers  ;D

Still it's lovely and sunny here so I can put  up with a lot of crap if im in the sunshine and the hotels are way better and cheaper then than the UK
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 28 September 2015, 06:17:51 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 28 September 2015, 10:31:09 am
Quote from: ParisB on 27 September 2015, 02:06:11 pm

This is a particularly sweet email  ;D. Gota love em In Dubai they are nothing if not creative

 you are amazing godess, i want to smell your sweaty body , your armpits, your breasts and smell your sweaty panty , when i meet i want you to not clean after shit , and ask me to smell your ass , then i want you to dance on toilet , shit and ask me to smell your shit , then i want you to slap my face , spit a lot in mouth , and make me smell fart , then finish with pissing in my mouth , all the time i will call you my love my godess , no sex , will you do ? how much ?

This is the funiest one I've read in a long time, I laughed way too hard.

You're an amazing Godess....now shit and piss in my mouth Godess!

Trouble is its a big business out here if I could stomach it then I would laughing but there are something I just cant do
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 28 September 2015, 07:32:28 pm
What I've never understood about hard sports - aside from finding the idea totally repugnant - is how the fuck is anyone expected/able to excrete on demand, say within a 2h booking?? I mean, I know that I'm fairly likely to have a bowel movement within 30-60 minutes of getting up, but even that's not guaranteed. It just totally baffles me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendall on 28 September 2015, 08:19:36 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 28 September 2015, 07:32:28 pm
What I've never understood about hard sports - aside from finding the idea totally repugnant - is how the fuck is anyone expected/able to excrete on demand, say within a 2h booking?? I mean, I know that I'm fairly likely to have a bowel movement within 30-60 minutes of getting up, but even that's not guaranteed. It just totally baffles me!

You could fake it and bang a mars bar up there
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 28 September 2015, 08:34:13 pm
Quote from: Kendall on 28 September 2015, 08:19:36 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 28 September 2015, 07:32:28 pm
What I've never understood about hard sports - aside from finding the idea totally repugnant - is how the fuck is anyone expected/able to excrete on demand, say within a 2h booking?? I mean, I know that I'm fairly likely to have a bowel movement within 30-60 minutes of getting up, but even that's not guaranteed. It just totally baffles me!

You could fake it and bang a mars bar up there


Ha ha that's so funny. It would probably work as all the chocolate is fucking melted lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 28 September 2015, 09:53:47 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 28 September 2015, 07:32:28 pm
What I've never understood about hard sports - aside from finding the idea totally repugnant - is how the fuck is anyone expected/able to excrete on demand, say within a 2h booking?? I mean, I know that I'm fairly likely to have a bowel movement within 30-60 minutes of getting up, but even that's not guaranteed. It just totally baffles me!

I wonder this too.  And do they take laxitives, in which case it will be more runny than anything, or is it formed?

Eugh.  I just put myself off my tea.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cheesypeas on 28 September 2015, 10:08:24 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 28 September 2015, 07:32:28 pm
What I've never understood about hard sports - aside from finding the idea totally repugnant - is how the fuck is anyone expected/able to excrete on demandIt just totally baffles me!

A naughty little 'Shit Me Now' suppository that
makes the magic happen in 3 minutes. ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 29 September 2015, 05:47:45 am
Don't even understand what this fool is talking about... ???

"Hi I'd like to enquire about a 2 hour wrestling session pls.

This is the scenario I'd like.

You start in jeans and a crop top with a bikini underneath, non underwired bikini top..
I use acted sleepers and scissors and sone pro style moves to wear u down to a KO, then I pin u for a slow 10 count. You can choose to act 1 of 2 ways for each pin.
1 act totally ko.d for the whole pin
2 act very drowsy but kick out at 8 or 9
You must kick out of at least the first pin attempt before succumbing to the pin, but its your choice how many pins you kick out of before being pinned fully KO'd.
After each successful pin you have to take an item of clothing off, until you are topless in your bikini bottoms.

At that stage in my final pin I will go for a crotch rub.
You say something like "if you want an erotic match I'll give u one"
And from there you subdue me using a slowly applied and long facesits, just lifting slightly to let me get a breath each time I tap, then you apply a full body pin and breast smother, using your arms to pin my arms over my head, again just lifting for me to get a breath after each tap.
Then u apply a reverse figure 4 headscissors and start working on my crotch to try for a cumshot. After a bit when you think I'm fairly close, you chance to a kneeling reverse tummy smother position, and go for keeping me edged for as long as u can. When u think you can't keep me edged any longer you change to a reverse breast smother and finish me off.

After that we wrestle semi competitively, only holds allowed are any kind of smother or pin to a slow 10 count. If at anytime you see me hard pls go for another cumshot.

Is this your sort of thing x?
How much would it be x?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Abbeycro on 29 September 2015, 07:32:33 am
I get these occasionally.  Some guys like to wrestle women as a fetish.  Why they don't just approach the girls who advertise they do this I don't know, a client showed me a few websites a couple of years back where loads of girls advertise erotic wrestling, and would do everything listed in the email he sent you.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 29 September 2015, 10:06:51 am
I get them once a month lately. It's ridiculous because I'm petite & I'm not going to wrestle a man & be pinned down. They need a body builder type or gym bunny who knows self defense moves etc. I just hit delete but maybe I should tell them to google search for someone who does offer it. They probably just mail shot lots of women in thier area.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 29 September 2015, 11:58:21 am
Wrestling fantasy.

Probably harmless but anyone doing one of these jobs needs to remember they are giving the man permission to pin them down though.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jemima2013 on 29 September 2015, 12:27:56 pm
Quote from: cassie on 26 August 2009, 11:21:59 pm
I have had a number of weird texts, but this one is still top of the list for me and cracks me up everytime I think of it:

"I'm 16 and in desperate need of a free blowjob."

think i went out with him when i was 16  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kazzle on 29 September 2015, 05:26:17 pm
Quote
You could fake it and bang a mars bar up there

If you've ever seen the Two Girls One Cup video it looks very fake to me. I've always assumed they used chocolate or coffee flavoured squirty cream.

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 29 September 2015, 11:04:17 pm
Quote from: Emma_C on 29 September 2015, 05:47:45 am
Don't even understand what this fool is talking about... ???

"Hi I'd like to enquire about a 2 hour wrestling session pls.

This is the scenario I'd like.

You start in jeans and a crop top with a bikini underneath, non underwired bikini top..
I use acted sleepers and scissors and sone pro style moves to wear u down to a KO, then I pin u for a slow 10 count. You can choose to act 1 of 2 ways for each pin.
1 act totally ko.d for the whole pin
2 act very drowsy but kick out at 8 or 9
You must kick out of at least the first pin attempt before succumbing to the pin, but its your choice how many pins you kick out of before being pinned fully KO'd.
After each successful pin you have to take an item of clothing off, until you are topless in your bikini bottoms.

At that stage in my final pin I will go for a crotch rub.
You say something like "if you want an erotic match I'll give u one"
And from there you subdue me using a slowly applied and long facesits, just lifting slightly to let me get a breath each time I tap, then you apply a full body pin and breast smother, using your arms to pin my arms over my head, again just lifting for me to get a breath after each tap.
Then u apply a reverse figure 4 headscissors and start working on my crotch to try for a cumshot. After a bit when you think I'm fairly close, you chance to a kneeling reverse tummy smother position, and go for keeping me edged for as long as u can. When u think you can't keep me edged any longer you change to a reverse breast smother and finish me off.

After that we wrestle semi competitively, only holds allowed are any kind of smother or pin to a slow 10 count. If at anytime you see me hard pls go for another cumshot.

Is this your sort of thing x?
How much would it be x?"

Why on earth would he expect any girl that doesn't specialise in wrestling to know the moves he is talking about?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendall on 29 September 2015, 11:50:19 pm
Quote from: Kazzle on 29 September 2015, 05:26:17 pm
Quote
You could fake it and bang a mars bar up there

If you've ever seen the Two Girls One Cup video it looks very fake to me. I've always assumed they used chocolate or coffee flavoured squirty cream.

They use porridge oats and some sort of brown liquid hence why it always looks like cat shit
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 03 October 2015, 02:56:21 pm
Jesus what is it with some people?Bloke booked in advance for today he insisted he was coming via bus so didn't need parking details.Directions etc sent accordingly from the nearby bus station.At 9am he confirmed no probs or mention of change of transport.15 mins before he is due he rings to say he is here but needs to park somewhere so why not tell me earlier so he had a chance to find it?!?Leeds is one way system so he will have to go back round to find the carapark opposite to my apartments.I can guarantee he will now be late.What a plonker!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 03 October 2015, 04:15:14 pm
As I thought he finally arrived 20 mins late after going into the wrong apartment block despite being referred to the building on the right that is the only colour of that kind out of all the apartment blocks.He couldn't come but when his time was up asked to try again  with penetration despite his dick going limp evetytime a condom went near him!He was sent for a shower instead! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 03 October 2015, 05:47:20 pm
This guy has had his AW profile since 2011 with no feedback:

"I want to walk into your place. Handcuff you and blindfold you. Then I want to face fuck you make you gag, piss on you and have you piss on me. Fuck you hard in all your holes while you beg for more... how does that sound to you? J"


Wannabe Christian Grey?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 03 October 2015, 06:39:09 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 03 October 2015, 05:47:20 pm
This guy has had his AW profile since 2011 with no feedback:

"I want to walk into your place. Handcuff you and blindfold you. Then I want to face fuck you make you gag, piss on you and have you piss on me. Fuck you hard in all your holes while you beg for more... how does that sound to you? J"


Wannabe Christian Grey?

'Oh that sounds just fabulous darling'...what kind of fucking response to half these guys actually expect?  Especially when they are so blatantly obviously a timewaster
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 03 October 2015, 07:00:09 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 03 October 2015, 06:39:09 pm
'Oh that sounds just fabulous darling'...what kind of fucking response to half these guys actually expect?  Especially when they are so blatantly obviously a timewaster

yeah I assume he'll get off to the annoyed responses he gets - it looks like he deleted my "I don't offer those services" response.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 03 October 2015, 07:05:56 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 03 October 2015, 07:00:09 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 03 October 2015, 06:39:09 pm
'Oh that sounds just fabulous darling'...what kind of fucking response to half these guys actually expect?  Especially when they are so blatantly obviously a timewaster

yeah I assume he'll get off to the annoyed responses he gets - it looks like he deleted my "I don't offer those services" response.

Yeah that's it isn't it, they want the reaction.

I got one once (I've posted about it somewhere on the forum), he asked me if I'd ever watched this porn where a woman blows a dog.  I responded ' Do you honestly think I don't realise you are just trying to get a reaction?'  He replied back admitting it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tanya01 on 03 October 2015, 07:14:35 pm
Quote from: Emma_C on 29 September 2015, 05:47:45 am
Don't even understand what this fool is talking about... ???

"Hi I'd like to enquire about a 2 hour wrestling session pls.

This is the scenario I'd like.

You start in jeans and a crop top with a bikini underneath, non underwired bikini top..
I use acted sleepers and scissors and sone pro style moves to wear u down to a KO, then I pin u for a slow 10 count. You can choose to act 1 of 2 ways for each pin.
1 act totally ko.d for the whole pin

I got asked this would I be up for wrestling when I first created my profile in the end I did end up saying im probably to light my weights not heavy enough I wasn't given a scenario maybe that was to come fair enough but in my head I had visions of kinda like pillow fighting.
If someone tried to hold me down it would probably make me a bit angry and it might have became a real fight lol . so in the end I thought maybe just get someone else.  But yeah whatever its just not me.
2 act very drowsy but kick out at 8 or 9
You must kick out of at least the first pin attempt before succumbing to the pin, but its your choice how many pins you kick out of before being pinned fully KO'd.
After each successful pin you have to take an item of clothing off, until you are topless in your bikini bottoms.

At that stage in my final pin I will go for a crotch rub.
You say something like "if you want an erotic match I'll give u one"
And from there you subdue me using a slowly applied and long facesits, just lifting slightly to let me get a breath each time I tap, then you apply a full body pin and breast smother, using your arms to pin my arms over my head, again just lifting for me to get a breath after each tap.
Then u apply a reverse figure 4 headscissors and start working on my crotch to try for a cumshot. After a bit when you think I'm fairly close, you chance to a kneeling reverse tummy smother position, and go for keeping me edged for as long as u can. When u think you can't keep me edged any longer you change to a reverse breast smother and finish me off.

After that we wrestle semi competitively, only holds allowed are any kind of smother or pin to a slow 10 count. If at anytime you see me hard pls go for another cumshot.

Is this your sort of thing x?
How much would it be x?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BadBell on 03 October 2015, 08:42:49 pm
Hi everyone, im new!
 My favourites have got to be the texts "Hi"  "u about?"  "can i lick your pussy?" "can i cum in your mouth?" ????????????????
Or good old fashioned "u working?" no love, ive just paid for five credits to show my availability to confuse your little head.

But my all time favourite phone calls are from the clients who are to tight to pay for phone sex let alone an escort. The phone calls which consist of heavy breathing ,lots of questions about what i do and what sounds like a wet trout being slapped about. :)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aleshaxx on 04 October 2015, 03:53:46 pm
I had quite a funny one recently...
Idiot: hi I'd like to book for half an hour
Me: sure when ?
Idiot: in an hour
...details exchanged all is well, then I receive a text...
Idiot: if you have a friend I'd like to see you both
Me: I do,she is available the price will be double.
Idiot: my issue is money, I will offer you both ?40 and see you regularly. It is good for business to see me, once you see me your business will be good. If you don't see me nobody will see you.
Me: I think not, consider the booking cancelled.
Idiot: you will now have to see me for free with your friend, I will pay you when I feel like it.
Hahaha honestly these men are very funny he then proceeded to bombard me with texts and calls begging for the booking to go ahead hahaha!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BarbaraB on 04 October 2015, 04:09:55 pm
he can i   visit  u in 10 min ?  (he don't know my address nothing)

me sorry I'm   free after 6 Pm

he but your profile say available  today and  all day

me no my profile say  available today 8am till 9pm. and is says i can't  do short notice

he no is say u are available all day
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 05 October 2015, 09:17:48 pm
Quote from: barbaragoldilocks on 04 October 2015, 04:09:55 pm
he can i   visit  u in 10 min ?  (he don't know my address nothing)

me sorry I'm   free after 6 Pm

he but your profile say available  today and  all day
where do these idiots come from ?

me no my profile say  available today 8am till 9pm. and is says i can't  do short notice

he no is say u are available all day

Where do these idiots come from I ask you
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 06 October 2015, 09:23:30 am
Quote from: Erotic Flower on 05 October 2015, 09:17:48 pm
Quote from: barbaragoldilocks on 04 October 2015, 04:09:55 pm
he can i   visit  u in 10 min ?  (he don't know my address nothing)

me sorry I'm   free after 6 Pm

he but your profile say available  today and  all day
where do these idiots come from ?

me no my profile say  available today 8am till 9pm. and is says i can't  do short notice

he no is say u are available all day

Where do these idiots come from I ask you

I've had guys try and convince me my profiles say I offer anal when I don't! Err, I wrote it, I think I know what I offer!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 06 October 2015, 09:59:10 am
Quote from: Red KB on 06 October 2015, 09:23:30 am


I've had guys try and convince me my profiles say I offer anal when I don't! Err, I wrote it, I think I know what I offer!

+1 and copy and paste my whole profile to me which still didn't say that I offer it. Men only see what they want to see
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 06 October 2015, 11:51:45 am
It's going to be one of those days.   :-[

First call of the morning.

GUY:  So how much do you charge?
ME: (Being the first call and still in a good mood) xx for xx and xx for xx
GUY:  Can you do me something a little bit better?
ME: Sorry?
GUY:  Can you do me something a little bit better and I'll tell you where to come?
ME:  No.  My prices are my prices and I don't negotiate
GUY:  OK it's up to you
ME:  You're damn right it is.

I actually wish I'd been quicker and said OK, so it's now xx+50 that will get you something better......
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 06 October 2015, 01:36:56 pm
Turn up at my door unannounced - knobhead!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 06 October 2015, 06:17:31 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 06 October 2015, 01:36:56 pm
Turn up at my door unannounced - knobhead!

I always wonder about this for those of you that work from home, how do you get rid of them? 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 06 October 2015, 07:06:18 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 06 October 2015, 06:17:31 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 06 October 2015, 01:36:56 pm
Turn up at my door unannounced - knobhead!

I always wonder about this for those of you that work from home, how do you get rid of them?

I've only ever had this happen once (once too many mind). He asked if I was working. I was so shocked think I just looked at him in disbelief for a while! I then said no I'm not but even if I was....don't EVER just turn up at my house again! He sheepishly said "oh sorry" and left!

I can't believe they think it's acceptable to do this and get a lot of people when ringing say "so do I have to book a time or do I just turn up?!"  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 06 October 2015, 08:14:02 pm
Oh I always get the 'Do I just ring when I get there?'brigade.They obviously think its going to be a parlour.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 06 October 2015, 08:28:59 pm
Well, I perhaps didn't help the situation in this case. He was one of my very first clients, and I took his booking on an unknown number (which I'd never do now). He wanted oral only, but more to the point deepthroat and CIM, neither of which I do. I only narrowly avoided CIM through a mix of luck and intuition.

No further contact for four months, then he turned up at my door unannounced. I was so shocked I said OK when he said he only had ?30 and could I give him a BJ. The same thing happened again with the deepthroating and CIM.

Now, 8-9 months pass and he does it again. Unbelievable! I said no (stood at my front door in a messy old dressing gown and naff slippers...) and he was all like 'Oh, go on, just 10 minutes'. I said no again and told him it was completely out of order to just turn up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 06 October 2015, 10:19:44 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 06 October 2015, 06:17:31 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 06 October 2015, 01:36:56 pm
Turn up at my door unannounced - knobhead!

I always wonder about this for those of you that work from home, how do you get rid of them?

If I'm not expecting anyone or working, my husband is here. He will then answer the door.
I can imagine it will go along the lines of 'can I help you at all'?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 07 October 2015, 08:50:32 am
Whilst not technically asking for a booking - had to share this e-mail just for the sheer ...... well I'm not sure what to say really! Ludicrous, ridiculous?

Hi M,

Hope you're well.

I wondered if you would be interested in doing a video clip for me, well, more of a challenge? I Know you don't advertise that, but was wondering anyway?

The clip could be filmed at your leisure, and in a place of your choosing, and then sent to me.

The challenge would comprise of you drinking 3 beers in the first hour, 3 in the second hour then waiting a further hour and a half. You could do whatever you like in the clip, dance, sing, try on clothes, even watch the TV.

The catch, yep, you're not allowed to leave the camera at any time, no bathroom breaks lol. Think you can last?
(I forgot to mention, the camera can't be set up in the bathroom) You can also substitute the beer for wine if you don't like beer, but they'd have to be large glasses and topped up with lemonade/soda.

How much would I pay you for the clip? Hundred an hour, so that's 350 for the clip.
Easy, maybe? I of course, would'nt share this anywhere, well, it'll cost enough, so I'll keep it!!

Why? Well, I had a girlfriend a few years ago, when I was in my 20's who used to put off gong until the very last min. She didn't realise she was doing it, and used to get all antsy and wriggly. I any realised that it was a turn on when we'd finished, daft hey? Anyway, I've tried asking girls to do this, but it's clearly acted. This way, it can't be can it? :-)

If it's not for you, thanks for reading this and I wish you well.

Kindest regards.

John. XX
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 07 October 2015, 08:40:14 pm
Quote from: MinxyMarianne on 07 October 2015, 08:50:32 am
Whilst not technically asking for a booking - had to share this e-mail just for the sheer ...... well I'm not sure what to say really! Ludicrous, ridiculous?

Hi M,

Hope you're well.

I wondered if you would be interested in doing a video clip for me, well, more of a challenge? I Know you don't advertise that, but was wondering anyway?

(snip...)

I just got this myself - another copy and paste timewaster!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 07 October 2015, 09:27:04 pm
I put a bid on a reverse bid the other day for a four hour meet. Just thought I would give it a go, see what it's all about. Anyway today I had a three hour lunch and private time with a reg. I look at my phone when I got back and had three missed calls with voice mail from some guy wanting an hour for massage this afternoon, I obviously can't do it. I text him, sorry I was unable to answer your call. Unfortunately I have no availability today but could see you tomorrow if that is convenient.
Just got an answer this evening.

Never mindI just wanted to try before I buy. You kindly placed a bid on a reverse booking. I was going to meet see if we got on. You would have been paid for both occasions lol.

I replied, I should hope I would have been paid for both occasions lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 08 October 2015, 01:35:48 pm
I have loads of blocked guys on my aw profile but the past week is a record for blocking! Around 7 in 5 days. Nobody really rude but freebie hunters mostly. All new profiles mostly. Anyone else noticed this? X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 08 October 2015, 04:24:46 pm
Email yesterday
Bee my mummie? 
 No thanks  !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seleranda on 08 October 2015, 09:29:27 pm
Booking request on AW with no prior contact. All details specificied and ?50 more than my fee for the lenght requested (so a bit dodgy). His message on the booking request: "Message me when you're on your way and I will send you further details". After a looong day it's possible I could misunderstand this, so I actually asked the guy if he was really expecting me to go to that hotel, on that date and at that time in the hope he will send "further details" with no prior contact. If that is the case guess who is SO there =P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JellyBean on 08 October 2015, 10:03:12 pm
Call this morning

Him: I would like to meet you for 8hrs
Me: I don't meet anyone for that length of time unless ive seem them before
Him: How much will it be?
Me: You will find rates on my website
Him: What do I get?
Me: All info on website
Him: My friend gave me your number.
Me: Ask your friend for my website link
Him: I cannot get onto internet.

At this point my head is aching , I plonk phone down on the plonker.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 09 October 2015, 01:12:33 am
Anyone else had this arrogant little prick?

"My name is George.
So where about are you currently working. An in call would actually be convenient if possible, but I'd rather not travel far..

And sorry if this is too bold, but is there anyway way I can verify your identity?
I'll be frank. If You can email me a picture of yourself, give me your phone number so we can speak directly (to see that you are English speaking and not chinese/romanian/polish etc)  (I'm sure you understand)   THEN we can progress and arrange a liaison :)

For clarity could you tell me what type of escort you are..
Again,not my intention to offend you, but to avoid anyone's time being wasted. I am basically looking for a nice and relaxed evening/night (depending on your perspective of time) and/or  availability, energy levels etc.. ,  where we would basically be a bit passionate with each other (within the norms of a stranger relationship of course) and the typical cuddle/ sex and stuff..

I believe your prices are approx 100 per hour, and 4 hour 360? Given my travel distance and time to preston (if that is were you currently work) would you deal at 320? (bare in mind our meet will be very chilled) I also have some conditions warranting me to rest more than the average male (long story) so I'm sure that is in your favour.

Anyway, let me know if you want to do that.

-George"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 09 October 2015, 07:56:00 am
Quote
Loved the profile and pics.

My fetish would be for you to dominate me by sitting tight on my face and farting lots of your nasty gas. You would have to be confident you could fart loads you probably need to have IBS!!

I am fit and attractive sure you would enjoy me xxxx


I replied saying if you'd read and liked my profile, you'd have seen the bit in bold stating I don't domme. Have a nice day
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 09 October 2015, 08:42:14 am
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 09 October 2015, 07:56:00 am
Quote
Loved the profile and pics.

My fetish would be for you to dominate me by sitting tight on my face and farting lots of your nasty gas. You would have to be confident you could fart loads you probably need to have IBS!!

I am fit and attractive sure you would enjoy me xxxx


I replied saying if you'd read and liked my profile, you'd have seen the bit in bold stating I don't domme. Have a nice day
I want that client send him my way I'll fart for England but he may not survive it might kill him lol !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 09 October 2015, 10:48:38 am
Repetitive texts:

'Hey! Free for an outcall 5* hotel London?'

I'm in Newcastle. Why would I cancel my bookings here to travel to London for an imaginary booking in an imaginary 5* hotel for imaginary money. Freak
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 09 October 2015, 12:01:51 pm
Lately I've had a spate of guys calling and questioning my nationality.

My nationality is the FIRST thing my profile says. I mean, it literally says something like "Martian Curvy MILF..." in my header. But I get guys calling and asking me "Are you really from Mars?" or a surprised "Oh! You're Martian!" and even  - this does my head in - "Are you from Pluto?"

"Do I sound like someone from Pluto?"

"I don't know... a lot of girls from Pluto lie about their nationality."

After being here for several years my accent has not changed even a tiny bit. People remark on it a lot. If I order a beer in a pub someone will always say, "Oh! Wow! You're Martian! I just went to Mars in June/I've always wanted to go to Mars." Then when I say I've lived here for X years they are always surprised because I still sound 100% Martian.

After a bit of this shit, I am absolutely turned off when they say "I've always wanted to do a Martian."

Considering I'm from a former British colony and my genetic heritage is pretty Anglo-Saxon, I think they'll be disappointed to discover that my vagina is no different from what they're used to.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 09 October 2015, 01:10:03 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 09 October 2015, 12:01:51 pm
Lately I've had a spate of guys calling and questioning my nationality.

My nationality is the FIRST thing my profile says. I mean, it literally says something like "Martian Curvy MILF..." in my header. But I get guys calling and asking me "Are you really from Mars?" or a surprised "Oh! You're Martian!" and even  - this does my head in - "Are you from Pluto?"

"Do I sound like someone from Pluto?"

"I don't know... a lot of girls from Pluto lie about their nationality."

After being here for several years my accent has not changed even a tiny bit. People remark on it a lot. If I order a beer in a pub someone will always say, "Oh! Wow! You're Martian! I just went to Mars in June/I've always wanted to go to Mars." Then when I say I've lived here for X years they are always surprised because I still sound 100% Martian.

After a bit of this shit, I am absolutely turned off when they say "I've always wanted to do a Martian."

Considering I'm from a former British colony and my genetic heritage is pretty Anglo-Saxon, I think they'll be disappointed to discover that my vagina is no different from what they're used to.  ::)

I had to read that twice  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 09 October 2015, 01:39:42 pm
Sometimes my desire to obfuscate my nationality makes me post silly things.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 09 October 2015, 01:46:02 pm
Its the same as guys who book me because they want to tick a bbw off their bucket list.Why?I have 2 tits and 1 fanny I just have more padding lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 09 October 2015, 06:04:22 pm
If I really were a Martian, I bet I'd make a TON of money.

However, there wouldn't be much repeat business because I'm pretty sure Martian females eat their mates after copulation.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 11 October 2015, 04:07:23 pm
HIM "I'm looking for something special. Do you do facesitting?"
ME: "Yes I do."
HIM: "Great! All the way?"
ME: "All the way what?"
HIM: "Suffocation. To the brink of death."

Ignored annnnnd BLOCKED.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 11 October 2015, 05:15:58 pm
Him: fancy coming round for a sniff?

BLOCKED

What makes these idiots think all escorts are drug addicts ? I've never done drugs I don't smoke and I very rarely drink. Unfortunately I'm sure he probably asked everyone on the availability list and probably got at least one girl say yes,
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 11 October 2015, 05:44:25 pm
Him; I see you are in ***** at the moment
Me; yes
Him; can I book an appointment for 7pm for an hour?
Me; yes
Him; how much is that
Me; ?100
Him; ok....and you have poppers as well? (says it like its the most natural thing in the world!)
Me; no! I don't have or do those or anything like that!
Him; oh I'll leave it then thanks anyway
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 11 October 2015, 06:02:00 pm
I was trying to find an escort short notice recently for a duo booking that my partner had cancelled on at the last minute and the only girl who was available to do it, then proceeded to ask me 'do you sniff?'

When I said no she went on this big speech about how she doesn't really do it in the week, just at weekends, so she'd probably have some the night of the booking (a Friday)... without specifying if it would be AFTER or during the booking. No way I was risking that.

Some girls really don't help the image of escorts as druggies.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrifleLover on 11 October 2015, 07:32:35 pm
I am a 'texter' and prefer texts and also due to my busy life outside of work I am never really in the vicinity to take calls. I clearly state this on my profile that I do not answer calls. Yet they seem to have not read my profile and insist on calling.

Or when they just don't read my profile, full stop!

I have had the wrestling fantasy asked a few times now aswell. Very scary IMO!

Brooke xxx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 11 October 2015, 11:58:59 pm
HIM: would You like to suck cock on Wednesday?
ME: not really
HIM: why not
ME: read my profile


silence
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 12 October 2015, 04:19:25 pm
Not actually working today but forgot to take my number down and already paid for it so keeping it up incase of outcalls. So anyway...

Delusional: Hi are you based in Newcastle?
Me: yes but I'm not providing incalls today
Delusional: oh I just want to give you money, can I come drop some off?
Me: no, I'm not providing incalls, do you want to arrange a booking?
Delusional: no I just want to give you money whenever you need it
Me: so what are you expecting in return for this
Delusional: nothing, can I meet you somewhere and give you money
Me: no
Delusional: well can I top your phone up for you? Is 20 enough?
Me: if you want
Delusional: okay I'll send the code

Perhaps genuine but random men giving me money for no reason just does not happen. Let's wait and see if the code comes through  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 12 October 2015, 04:47:20 pm
"hi hannah do you do anything for ?20? x "  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 12 October 2015, 04:49:27 pm
Really fed up of guys emailing on Adultwork and nattering for a booking then on the day not confirming.Had a classic today.He had emailed before back in April I think wanting a specific day I answered and he never got back to me.He then emailed again in advance for today cue a little email ping pong and I asked him to confirm at lunchtime.Didn't hear a dickiebird but at 4pm he texted to say he had forgot but he would still like to see me tonight.So I agreed and started sending directions for him to then say he was worried about missing a train and to leave it.I replied that he was wasting my time and he sent a sarrcy text saying I had lovely manners.I pointed out this was the 2nd time he had messed me about so sorry if my manners were not to his liking but being messed about was not to mine.He surely must have realised that after 2 times of this from him I wouldn't exactly be thrilled to have anything to do with him again.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 13 October 2015, 03:34:23 am
you're 35 mate?

yes, yes i am

knocking on a bit mate, how you k=no wot email is??

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 13 October 2015, 10:43:07 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 12 October 2015, 04:49:27 pm
Really fed up of guys emailing on Adultwork and nattering for a booking then on the day not confirming.
Yes. They're just horny at the time I reckon.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 14 October 2015, 01:26:21 am
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 13 October 2015, 03:34:23 am
you're 35 mate?

yes, yes i am

knocking on a bit mate, how you k=no wot email is??

OMG, arse!! Wot an idiot. Just trying to get you annoyed by age-shaming you. Ignore, I am 8 years your senior, and have been using email since 1995!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 14 October 2015, 02:41:27 am
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 13 October 2015, 03:34:23 am
you're 35 mate?

yes, yes i am

knocking on a bit mate, how you k=no wot email is??

There's so many levels of ignorance in that one question, it's difficult to know where to begin... Who does he think invented email and the Internet? I'm 48 and can knock up a WordPress website in a few hours!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BarbaraB on 14 October 2015, 01:21:19 pm
Just now email in aw

Wow you are incredible! Your boyfriend is very very lucky guy!!

Next email I would like to take you to diner

Me if u pay my time

He I will pay this dinner   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonBased on 14 October 2015, 05:31:19 pm
I just had someone ask me to see him for 1 hour for ?40. I charge ?200 for the hour  ::) Can you get a 1 hour appointment anywhere for ?40 an hour? I don't even think you could get an hour on the streets for that. He said he doesn't have much money so that's all he can afford. Where do they get the guts to say these things?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 14 October 2015, 08:55:53 pm
Quote from: LondonBased on 14 October 2015, 05:31:19 pm
I just had someone ask me to see him for 1 hour for ?40. I charge ?200 for the hour  ::) Can you get a 1 hour appointment anywhere for ?40 an hour? I don't even think you could get an hour on the streets for that. He said he doesn't have much money so that's all he can afford. Where do they get the guts to say these things?

Are we supposed to offer pro-bono fucks for poor people?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonBased on 14 October 2015, 08:58:24 pm
Can someone tell me if I am in the wrong here? I had a guy phone me yesterday or the day before asking normal questions at first and confirming certain services on my profile were available to which I happily answered then he started asking me very specific questions down to the measurements of my pussy lips? I told him that I'm not comfortable having this conversation with him and that I no longer want to meet him. He sounded like a total creep when he started talking about my lips etc but was well spoken and sounded like he was maybe in his 40's or 50's. I got off the phone and he text me saying I was over sensitive and stupid then he blocked me. Am I the only one who gets put off by guys asking too much on the phone and for coming across as creepy?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 14 October 2015, 09:00:45 pm
Quote from: Midsstudent on 14 October 2015, 08:55:53 pm
Are we supposed to offer pro-bono fucks for poor people?

Well, we are all overpaid, tax-dodging benefit scroungers, so yes, perhaps we should just offer five free fucks a month or something?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 14 October 2015, 09:01:28 pm
Quote from: LondonBased on 14 October 2015, 08:58:24 pm
Can someone tell me if I am in the wrong here? I had a guy phone me yesterday or the day before asking normal questions at first and confirming certain services on my profile were available to which I happily answered then he started asking me very specific questions down to the measurements of my pussy lips? I told him that I'm not comfortable having this conversation with him and that I no longer want to meet him. He sounded like a total creep when he started talking about my lips etc but was well spoken and sounded like he was maybe in his 40's or 50's. I got off the phone and he text me saying I was over sensitive and stupid then he blocked me. Am I the only one who gets put off by guys asking too much on the phone and for coming across as creepy?

No, any convo like that signals a timewaster, if nothing else.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 14 October 2015, 10:21:10 pm
This topic thread just confirms you just can't educate mens  ignorance !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonBased on 14 October 2015, 10:39:23 pm
Quote from: Erotic Flower on 14 October 2015, 10:21:10 pm
This topic thread just confirms you just can't educate mens  ignorance !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 15 October 2015, 01:03:38 am
Quote from: LondonBased on 14 October 2015, 08:58:24 pm
Can someone tell me if I am in the wrong here? I had a guy phone me yesterday or the day before asking normal questions at first and confirming certain services on my profile were available to which I happily answered then he started asking me very specific questions down to the measurements of my pussy lips? I told him that I'm not comfortable having this conversation with him and that I no longer want to meet him. He sounded like a total creep when he started talking about my lips etc but was well spoken and sounded like he was maybe in his 40's or 50's. I got off the phone and he text me saying I was over sensitive and stupid then he blocked me. Am I the only one who gets put off by guys asking too much on the phone and for coming across as creepy?

He's a timewaster/wanker. You did the right thing, your spidey senses worked 100%. Block and move on :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 15 October 2015, 01:22:49 am
Text - 'Oh wow, you truely are gorgeous'.

No idea who you are, never met you and don't have face pictures anywhere... but erm, thanks?

I remember when I was new every time I got one of these I used to frantically google my phone number just in case...but nope, you just get idiots!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 15 October 2015, 11:24:18 am
text just now

hi minx, you free at 1pm?

yes, i'm available.  how long would you like?

great, can i get 30 minutes for ?40  :FF


next i get a different text

hi, are you available today and do you see young looking 24 year old?

yes, as long as you're over 18.  when were you looking for?

do you like your hair pulled and being spat on?

its not even gonna be a full moon tonight!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 15 October 2015, 02:01:47 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 15 October 2015, 11:24:18 am
text just now

hi minx, you free at 1pm?

yes, i'm available.  how long would you like?

great, can i get 30 minutes for ?40  :FF


next i get a different text

hi, are you available today and do you see young looking 24 year old?

yes, as long as you're over 18.  when were you looking for?

do you like your hair pulled and being spat on?

its not even gonna be a full moon tonight!

Ooh, doesn't your heart just skip a beat sometimes?

Your hair pulled and spat on, forget flowers and chocolates, what girl doesn't love that?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 15 October 2015, 02:41:52 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 15 October 2015, 02:01:47 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 15 October 2015, 11:24:18 am

hi, are you available today and do you see young looking 24 year old?

yes, as long as you're over 18.  when were you looking for?

do you like your hair pulled and being spat on?

its not even gonna be a full moon tonight!

Ooh, doesn't your heart just skip a beat sometimes?

Your hair pulled and spat on, forget flowers and chocolates, what girl doesn't love that?

I love my hair pulled and spat on, it would be the 'young good looking' part that would piss me off!  ;D

Edit: read it wrong, never mind!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 16 October 2015, 07:44:17 pm
Email on A.W;

Hi can I ask you something?


ffs why does that warrant an email of it's own  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonBased on 17 October 2015, 01:56:24 pm
How can I fill you

 ::)

I wonder if lots and lots of men who book escorts have Autism or Aspergers? There has to be a real reason for their lack of social skills and lack of understanding how another person might feel in reaction to some of the things they say besides just being completely ignorant? Surely?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 17 October 2015, 05:16:29 pm
lool.

Hey can you do 30mins for 60? I can send you a pic of me.

I had written up a very nasty reply but thought to myself he is not even worth a response so just blocked him instead!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 17 October 2015, 06:03:32 pm
Quote from: LondonBased on 17 October 2015, 01:56:24 pm
How can I fill you

 ::)

I wonder if lots and lots of men who book escorts have Autism or Aspergers? There has to be a real reason for their lack of social skills and lack of understanding how another person might feel in reaction to some of the things they say besides just being completely ignorant? Surely?

I don't think that's the problem. I think it's that they have no respect for us. The one's who send messages like this - a lovely one I had the other day from someone with lots of good aw feedback "do you have a ginger pubed cunt' (literally that was all the message said)  see us as objects to buy, not people.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlaqHarlot on 17 October 2015, 06:04:14 pm
Just got this one
Quote
Hi ya princess
I'm wanting to leave 'normal life'. And become the property and complete slave to a cruel harsh nasty dominant female...
I'd want to be permanently locked up so never to see daylight again.. Serve as your complete human toilet slave be made to swallow all your wastes poo pee spit even puke..?? Use my mouth and face as your ashtray burning every millimetre of my face with cigarettes including my eyes so that I won't be able to see anymore..??
Regularly trampling me and kicking my face n head like a football busting my teeth out breaking my nose cheek bones etc.. ??.. only give me water and multi vitamin tablets as my food will come from your poo only..
Please can you let me know if you are interested in keeping me as your slave?? Xx

Lovely.... :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 17 October 2015, 08:11:54 pm
I think I felt my knicker elastic snap in excitement milk chocolate lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 17 October 2015, 10:06:40 pm
Quote from: MilkChocolate on 17 October 2015, 06:04:14 pm
Just got this one
Quote
Hi ya princess
I'm wanting to leave 'normal life'. And become the property and complete slave to a cruel harsh nasty dominant female...
I'd want to be permanently locked up so never to see daylight again.. Serve as your complete human toilet slave be made to swallow all your wastes poo pee spit even puke..?? Use my mouth and face as your ashtray burning every millimetre of my face with cigarettes including my eyes so that I won't be able to see anymore..??
Regularly trampling me and kicking my face n head like a football busting my teeth out breaking my nose cheek bones etc.. ??.. only give me water and multi vitamin tablets as my food will come from your poo only..
Please can you let me know if you are interested in keeping me as your slave?? Xx

Lovely.... :FF
Fantasist wants to know if he's believable !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 17 October 2015, 10:52:56 pm
Seems to me like he just needs to go out on a weekend and let someone beat him up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonBased on 17 October 2015, 11:59:23 pm
Quote from: MilkChocolate on 17 October 2015, 06:04:14 pm
Just got this one
Quote
Hi ya princess
I'm wanting to leave 'normal life'. And become the property and complete slave to a cruel harsh nasty dominant female...
I'd want to be permanently locked up so never to see daylight again.. Serve as your complete human toilet slave be made to swallow all your wastes poo pee spit even puke..?? Use my mouth and face as your ashtray burning every millimetre of my face with cigarettes including my eyes so that I won't be able to see anymore..??
Regularly trampling me and kicking my face n head like a football busting my teeth out breaking my nose cheek bones etc.. ??.. only give me water and multi vitamin tablets as my food will come from your poo only..
Please can you let me know if you are interested in keeping me as your slave?? Xx

Lovely.... :FF

Oh wow, what has happened to this poor person? Even if he is a TW or complete fantasist, to have those thoughts in the fist place must come from a very disturbed mind. Shame actually  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 18 October 2015, 10:07:29 am
Woke up to a text that just said 'sex' maybe he goes into Maccyds and just grunts 'burger'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 18 October 2015, 11:22:43 am
Caller wants to come see me now and expects watersports I explained I have to be given at least hours notice so I can drink plenty .
He got annoyed and told me to forget it !! ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 18 October 2015, 12:21:28 pm
This has got to be the best email I've ever received:

             "Eny price"

Only in Plymouth  ;D  ;D  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 18 October 2015, 01:04:15 pm
A recent run of texts.

Day 1 Weirdo, Im donny horny ru how busty rux
Day2  wierdo, im donny will u be my gfx
same day, donny here wants to meet u x
Day3 im donny horny fancy a meet how busty r u x
All his own spelling.

These texts interspersed with phone call at all times of the day and night, he lets it ring for one or two rings and cuts off. I got so fed up decided to google his number. He runs his own utility service business from the number and I got his FB page and home address. obviously a couple of spanners short in the tool box.
So many eejits out there.
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 18 October 2015, 01:15:04 pm
Quote
how would you like to put on your highest heels, sexiest stockings and something tight and kinky before leaving me breathless for an hour later today? xxx

I felt like replying "I'd rather watch paint dry"... what makes him think this is any way to book an escort?! I'm not sitting around waiting desperately for someone to come and screw me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 18 October 2015, 03:47:15 pm
Just had this gem:

"Hi there, I'm 33 and own a number of houses around the Stockport area which I rent out. I've always wanted to rent one to a hot young escort and wondered if you might be interested? Thanks, "
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 18 October 2015, 04:07:16 pm
Quote from: Nova on 18 October 2015, 03:47:15 pm
Just had this gem:

"Hi there, I'm 33 and own a number of houses around the Stockport area which I rent out. I've always wanted to rent one to a hot young escort and wondered if you might be interested? Thanks, "

Ha, I'm sure he wouldn't end up turning into a creepy stalker that showed up as he pleased and went through your things while you're out. I wonder if anyone will be stupid enough to take him up on his offer.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 18 October 2015, 04:09:01 pm
They seem to forget we save names and mobile numbers
Caller who is under age texts asking to see me
I inform him he's under age as had been told before
He then lied and said it's his first call that it must have been his brother calling before
I text back
Please !!!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 18 October 2015, 09:34:32 pm
Quote from: Erotic Flower on 18 October 2015, 04:09:01 pm
They seem to forget we save names and mobile numbers

They really do! Had someone who was a no show two weeks ago text three times recently the first two are you available and working three minutes apart and one several hours after if you are let me know...er no!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 18 October 2015, 09:52:17 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 18 October 2015, 09:34:32 pm
Quote from: Erotic Flower on 18 October 2015, 04:09:01 pm
They seem to forget we save names and mobile numbers

They really do! Had someone who was a no show two weeks ago text three times recently the first two are you available and working three minutes apart and one several hours after if you are let me know...er no!

+1 I currently have a pest who didn't confirm his booking keep sending me texts as if we've never spoken before
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 19 October 2015, 10:59:37 am
Some don't give up either.I have clients who were banned years ago and know they are banned still try and ring for a booking.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 19 October 2015, 12:00:16 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 19 October 2015, 10:59:37 am
Some don't give up either.I have clients who were banned years ago and know they are banned still try and ring for a booking.

Same here. The most amusing are the ones who go to the trouble of using a different email address or creating a whole new AW account to book and then use the same phone number for confirmation! Oops - I know who you are now, thanks.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 19 October 2015, 12:09:08 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 18 October 2015, 10:07:29 am
Woke up to a text that just said 'sex' maybe he goes into Maccyds and just grunts 'burger'.

lol proper cave man mentality. He's probably illiterate 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 19 October 2015, 01:12:45 pm
Text at about ten to nine this morning:

Optimist: Hi darlin im gary horny ru how big r ur breasts hairy or shaven and u give a good bj
Me: Sorry, I think you have the wrong number.

*silence*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 19 October 2015, 03:09:28 pm
Quote from: amy on 19 October 2015, 01:12:45 pm
Text at about ten to nine this morning:

Optimist: Hi darlin im gary horny ru how big r ur breasts hairy or shaven and u give a good bj
Me: Sorry, I think you have the wrong number.

*silence*
He's in the warnings and wasters section already.For a minute it read as 'Are ur breasts hairy or shaven' haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 19 October 2015, 03:43:34 pm
He had tried to ring about five minutes before that, but my call blocker's on until 9.30am. God, what a bell end.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 19 October 2015, 06:04:38 pm
Just got this by text. Totally gonna go for it of course!

Quote
Hello my name is M*****. And I'm here looking for 4 more escorts to come and work for me. You will be getting paid ?2,500 pay day cash upfront. That's if you come and work for me as an escort. Yours escort life can change by earning ?2,500 pay day. Or a home made sex video which is going to go online. For the home made sex video which is going online you will get paid ?11,120 cash upfront you interested?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 19 October 2015, 06:09:04 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 19 October 2015, 06:04:38 pm
Just got this by text. Totally gonna go for it of course!

Quote
Hello my name is M*****. And I'm here looking for 4 more escorts to come and work for me. You will be getting paid ?2,500 pay day cash upfront. That's if you come and work for me as an escort. Yours escort life can change by earning ?2,500 pay day. Or a home made sex video which is going to go online. For the home made sex video which is going online you will get paid ?11,120 cash upfront you interested?

Oo how could you resist! Although at least he's upfront about wanting a porno to put it online! Makes a change from the 'for personal use only... Not'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: politics999 on 19 October 2015, 06:54:12 pm
Quote
I have beeen following your photos and profile for a while, but been too busy to create time , shame now I'm ready and you aint available anymore, but i want to make an offer...a friday - sunday at the dochester for 10k!....by the way I'm 39yrs, 6'2 tall..a successful online business owner..pls consider

I had this gem today. His profile has 0 feedback and was created in 2012. ^_^ How sad that I had to decline.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 19 October 2015, 09:35:35 pm
Genius today sent me a booking request today for:

- A date I'm not even here, I'm on tour
- A price that isn't available for outcalls
- Zero feedback
- AND no location information on the booking request

I HATE random booking requests, why do they think they can just put one through and expect us to turn up, like a taxi or something?

He'd clearly read enough of my profile to see I had an offer available, but couldn't finish even the whole sentence that went on to say '...for incalls only'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 20 October 2015, 04:40:51 pm
Yo. I wan 2 cu

I'm available like, 12th of never (was tempted to send this but just ignored lol)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: _Rebecca_xxx on 20 October 2015, 05:13:46 pm
Quote

Hi my name's ***** I'm 28 6ft 4 and a new member offering services here on adult work. Not only do I offer services but I'd also be happy to do some content share, I'm very open minded in the berdroom and willing to try and do different things from being fucked in the ass with a strap on to watersports. If your interested then do not hesitate to get in touch xx
 

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 20 October 2015, 05:34:25 pm
Quote from: _Rebecca_xxx on 20 October 2015, 05:13:46 pm
Quote

Hi my name's ***** I'm 28 6ft 4 and a new member offering services here on adult work. Not only do I offer services but I'd also be happy to do some content share, I'm very open minded in the berdroom and willing to try and do different things from being fucked in the ass with a strap on to watersports. If your interested then do not hesitate to get in touch xx
 

 ::)

Send him to me! I need more video clips to sell :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 22 October 2015, 03:52:42 pm
Stick the kettle on and break open the chocolate biscuits girls:

Do you have Submissive fantasies?

Maybe it's a religious upbringing; strict, couldn't care less, abusive, or absent parents; daddy issues; bullying; or whatever, lots of people have issues. These issues can manifest themselves in various ways, but often they lead to sexual and relationship preferences that many people might consider different at best, and abusive at worst. Naturally, the fact that you enjoy them, or think you would, and others consider them weird, makes you feel guilty, embarrassed and ashamed at your own desires, which then starts to eat away at your confidence, self esteem and self worth.

Some girls suppress these feelings but it tries to stop you from wanting the things you enjoy because of the guilt and shame you feel about them and, as anyone with strong needs and desires will tell you, this is an uphill, if not futile, battle. If you feel happy and fulfilled on your knees, with your hair firmly grasped in someone's fist and a cock hitting the back of your throat and choking you, then telling you it's wrong, and trying to help you understand why you like it, isn't going to help you much. In fact it will have your head spinning so fast that you can't wait to feel that firm grip holding you still again and giving you the clarity and simplicity you crave.

So, instead of trying to prevent you from thinking or doing the things you might enjoy, that then make you feel guilty, why not simply encourage you to enjoy them and just stop feeling ashamed about it? Why not attack the guilt and shame instead of the thoughts or actions? Why not teach you that your somewhat fucked up sexual feelings and desires are in fact perfectly ok, and that as long as no harm comes to you and you cause no harm to others, then have at it and enjoy yourself and feel good about it.

Lot's of women enjoy rough, dominant sex, the most common female fantasies involve being taken by force, and I've lost count of the number of women who've told me of their embarrassment at how wet and turned on they get at scenes of rape and sexual violence in films and on TV. Many enjoy and some crave the feeling of being controlled and owned. Of course they all think they're the only one that feels that way and so there must be something wrong with them, but they're not, and there isn't.

Maybe there are reasons why you feel that way and need it so much, but do you want to spend the rest of your life ashamed, crying yourself to sleep, wondering why you have such extreme desires and whether you can change them? Or would you prefer to simply be able to enjoy them as fully as possible, without the slightest feeling of guilt?

If you enjoy the idea of being tied up, spanked, caned, thrown around, fucked aggressively and treated like a sex toy, then so what. If you believe you'd prefer a relationship where someone else calls the shots, takes control and makes decisions for you, because it makes you feel safe, cared for, loved and protected, then big deal, it's your life.

Maybe daddy didn't give you enough attention and so you crave it now, in whatever way you can get it. Maybe he had high expectations that have left you constantly seeking approval and so, as a result, you have an abnormally high need to please and to feel recognised and appreciated for your efforts. But maybe you're just normal, like everyone else, and just want to experience those basic human needs at a much deeper and more personal level.

The fact that you want and need that more directly makes you no different to those that seek it as a group. In fact your needs are in many ways more understandable. You want to submit and accept authority from someone you can trust, see, smell, hear, taste and touch. Someone who's yours, who you can see cares about you and you alone, who you can please in tangible ways; rather than an unseen being who, if he does exist, you have to share with millions of others.

So, why am I telling you all this? Well I'm a dominant man who has similar needs and desires, but from the opposite end of the spectrum. I don't know why I have such needs, I've had no past traumas or issues, and in fact I've had a perfectly happy, stable life. As a result I'm normal, outgoing, pretty chilled out and liked to enjoy life. I was well brought up and well educated in a happy family environment. Perhaps this stability is what has made me dominant. Perhaps it's why I'm confident, assertive and have done well for myself. Maybe the fact that I'm emotionally stable and in control of myself is what makes me enjoy, and be capable of, taking control and being the one in charge. Maybe, like you, my dominant sexual desires are a just a deeper reflection of my basic emotional and relationship needs. Who knows, and frankly I don't care as I enjoy them and have no desire to change them. As such I'd like a relationship with someone who shares these needs and wants to feel free to enjoy them instead of feeling bad about them. Someone who wants to feel safe, cared for, appreciated and valued for who you are and not judged. In short, someone nice, normal, good fun and easy to get on with, who just wants a relationship where you can be free to enjoy and explore who you are with someone who can appreciate that, who knows how to take control, and can help you, guide you and enjoy it with you too.

If you've had such thoughts and desires and are tired of feeling guilty and ashamed about them, and would rather enjoy, explore or experience them, with someone sane, stable, good fun, good looking, and comfortable with who he is, then I'd love to hear from you. I don't mind if you've always felt this way or are only just beginning to discover who you are and what you need. If you're happy in who you are, so much the better, but if you're confused, embarrassed or a little shy and uncertain about things then I'm equally happy to hear from you and talk with you about them.

I look forward to hearing from you.



Seriously, WOW.

And despite the fact I make it clear that I don't offer sub services.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 22 October 2015, 04:00:39 pm
My reply would be: "TL; DNR."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 22 October 2015, 04:02:08 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 22 October 2015, 04:00:39 pm
My reply would be: "TL; DNR."

What does that mean?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 22 October 2015, 04:19:56 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 22 October 2015, 04:02:08 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 22 October 2015, 04:00:39 pm
My reply would be: "TL; DNR."

What does that mean?

Too Long;Did Not Read
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 23 October 2015, 09:51:43 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 22 October 2015, 04:19:56 pm
Too Long;Did Not Read

Ah thanks Cat....things you learn on saafe.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 24 October 2015, 10:50:24 am
Got this absolute corker this morning:

I won't lie (my name). I'll be honest. You are something else really. Classy, independent, confident, witty, intelligent, attractive, full of personality and positive energy, adventurous, exciting, full of life, beautiful, friendly, warm hearted, Elegant, pretty, stunning, cute, Special, self motivated and determined. Undoubtedly, you ooze sex appeal massively. You are all woman. Your perfect and poses every quality in a woman. You are a work of art. I want to marry you and I want you to be the mother of my children. I know by all your superb qualities you'd be an excellent mother and wife. Devoted, loyal and loving. I'm a current Medical Student with an IQ of 135. We can create a master race and live happily ever after. I want to spoil you and treat you like a princess. I'd support you in every decision and aspect of your life. I'd respect you freedom and independence and I'd love you with all my heart forever and always. I know You and your presence alone would make me feel warm, happy, safe and comfortable. I'd cut of a testicle for this to happen (not literally). I'm very sorry, yes, I'm a 19 year old boy fantasist lol. Also, very sorry for the long email and sounding like a complete and total freak/creep because I'm not, I promise. Please forgive me. Just had to tell you, open my heart and express my fellings. I wish you all the luck in the world and know we will both be happy, rich and successful in life. Truely. Take care and be safe. All my warmth and love (my name). Hugs and Kisses. Yours truely, (weirdo) xxx

Never met the guy but my god, he asked for an advance booking for today last week and I didn't reply as thought he was a bit odd. It's an absolute never after that load of drivvle!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 24 October 2015, 01:13:12 pm
Asking if I'll remove my piercings. If you don't like them, book someone who doesn't have them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 24 October 2015, 01:27:06 pm
Quote from: geordie on 24 October 2015, 10:50:24 am
Got this absolute corker this morning:

I won't lie (my name). I'll be honest. You are something else really. Classy, independent, confident, witty, intelligent, attractive, full of personality and positive energy, adventurous, exciting, full of life, beautiful, friendly, warm hearted, Elegant, pretty, stunning, cute, Special, self motivated and determined. Undoubtedly, you ooze sex appeal massively. You are all woman. Your perfect and poses every quality in a woman. You are a work of art. I want to marry you and I want you to be the mother of my children. I know by all your superb qualities you'd be an excellent mother and wife. Devoted, loyal and loving. I'm a current Medical Student with an IQ of 135. We can create a master race and live happily ever after. I want to spoil you and treat you like a princess. I'd support you in every decision and aspect of your life. I'd respect you freedom and independence and I'd love you with all my heart forever and always. I know You and your presence alone would make me feel warm, happy, safe and comfortable. I'd cut of a testicle for this to happen (not literally). I'm very sorry, yes, I'm a 19 year old boy fantasist lol. Also, very sorry for the long email and sounding like a complete and total freak/creep because I'm not, I promise. Please forgive me. Just had to tell you, open my heart and express my fellings. I wish you all the luck in the world and know we will both be happy, rich and successful in life. Truely. Take care and be safe. All my warmth and love (my name). Hugs and Kisses. Yours truely, (weirdo) xxx

Never met the guy but my god, he asked for an advance booking for today last week and I didn't reply as thought he was a bit odd. It's an absolute never after that load of drivvle!

That's a bit....I dunno.  I think good call on the absolute never!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 24 October 2015, 01:34:31 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 24 October 2015, 01:27:06 pm
Quote from: geordie on 24 October 2015, 10:50:24 am
Got this absolute corker this morning:

I won't lie (my name). I'll be honest. You are something else really. Classy, independent, confident, witty, intelligent, attractive, full of personality and positive energy, adventurous, exciting, full of life, beautiful, friendly, warm hearted, Elegant, pretty, stunning, cute, Special, self motivated and determined. Undoubtedly, you ooze sex appeal massively. You are all woman. Your perfect and poses every quality in a woman. You are a work of art. I want to marry you and I want you to be the mother of my children. I know by all your superb qualities you'd be an excellent mother and wife. Devoted, loyal and loving. I'm a current Medical Student with an IQ of 135. We can create a master race and live happily ever after. I want to spoil you and treat you like a princess. I'd support you in every decision and aspect of your life. I'd respect you freedom and independence and I'd love you with all my heart forever and always. I know You and your presence alone would make me feel warm, happy, safe and comfortable. I'd cut of a testicle for this to happen (not literally). I'm very sorry, yes, I'm a 19 year old boy fantasist lol. Also, very sorry for the long email and sounding like a complete and total freak/creep because I'm not, I promise. Please forgive me. Just had to tell you, open my heart and express my fellings. I wish you all the luck in the world and know we will both be happy, rich and successful in life. Truely. Take care and be safe. All my warmth and love (my name). Hugs and Kisses. Yours truely, (weirdo) xxx

Never met the guy but my god, he asked for an advance booking for today last week and I didn't reply as thought he was a bit odd. It's an absolute never after that load of drivvle!

That's a bit....I dunno.  I think good call on the absolute never!


The master race bit is my absolute favourite part! Hilarious
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 24 October 2015, 01:45:23 pm
Quote from: geordie on 24 October 2015, 01:34:31 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 24 October 2015, 01:27:06 pm
Quote from: geordie on 24 October 2015, 10:50:24 am
Got this absolute corker this morning:

I won't lie (my name). I'll be honest. You are something else really. Classy, independent, confident, witty, intelligent, attractive, full of personality and positive energy, adventurous, exciting, full of life, beautiful, friendly, warm hearted, Elegant, pretty, stunning, cute, Special, self motivated and determined. Undoubtedly, you ooze sex appeal massively. You are all woman. Your perfect and poses every quality in a woman. You are a work of art. I want to marry you and I want you to be the mother of my children. I know by all your superb qualities you'd be an excellent mother and wife. Devoted, loyal and loving. I'm a current Medical Student with an IQ of 135. We can create a master race and live happily ever after. I want to spoil you and treat you like a princess. I'd support you in every decision and aspect of your life. I'd respect you freedom and independence and I'd love you with all my heart forever and always. I know You and your presence alone would make me feel warm, happy, safe and comfortable. I'd cut of a testicle for this to happen (not literally). I'm very sorry, yes, I'm a 19 year old boy fantasist lol. Also, very sorry for the long email and sounding like a complete and total freak/creep because I'm not, I promise. Please forgive me. Just had to tell you, open my heart and express my fellings. I wish you all the luck in the world and know we will both be happy, rich and successful in life. Truely. Take care and be safe. All my warmth and love (my name). Hugs and Kisses. Yours truely, (weirdo) xxx

Never met the guy but my god, he asked for an advance booking for today last week and I didn't reply as thought he was a bit odd. It's an absolute never after that load of drivvle!

That's a bit....I dunno.  I think good call on the absolute never!


The master race bit is my absolute favourite part! Hilarious

Yeah that gave me the chuckles and reminded me of Hitler at the same time!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rentagirl on 25 October 2015, 09:18:22 pm
Wish they would make more effort than

"I'm staying in the Hilton.

 I'm wanting to fuck your bum tonight."

::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amber_c on 26 October 2015, 12:08:02 pm
Quote from: geordie on 24 October 2015, 10:50:24 am
Got this absolute corker this morning:

I won't lie (my name). I'll be honest. You are something else really. Classy, independent, confident, witty, intelligent, attractive, full of personality and positive energy, adventurous, exciting, full of life, beautiful, friendly, warm hearted, Elegant, pretty, stunning, cute, Special, self motivated and determined. Undoubtedly, you ooze sex appeal massively. You are all woman. Your perfect and poses every quality in a woman. You are a work of art. I want to marry you and I want you to be the mother of my children. I know by all your superb qualities you'd be an excellent mother and wife. Devoted, loyal and loving. I'm a current Medical Student with an IQ of 135. We can create a master race and live happily ever after. I want to spoil you and treat you like a princess. I'd support you in every decision and aspect of your life. I'd respect you freedom and independence and I'd love you with all my heart forever and always. I know You and your presence alone would make me feel warm, happy, safe and comfortable. I'd cut of a testicle for this to happen (not literally). I'm very sorry, yes, I'm a 19 year old boy fantasist lol. Also, very sorry for the long email and sounding like a complete and total freak/creep because I'm not, I promise. Please forgive me. Just had to tell you, open my heart and express my fellings. I wish you all the luck in the world and know we will both be happy, rich and successful in life. Truely. Take care and be safe. All my warmth and love (my name). Hugs and Kisses. Yours truely, (weirdo) xxx

Never met the guy but my god, he asked for an advance booking for today last week and I didn't reply as thought he was a bit odd. It's an absolute never after that load of drivvle!

Hahaha I got this one too! you beat me to it! Some people have too much time on their hands I think, what a load of nonsense. I told him off for sending me stupid messages and got an apology, but don't think I'll be seeing him!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 26 October 2015, 12:55:21 pm
Just had this guy who does not know how type a sentence that is not a question:

"hi do you have 7pm tomorrow free? where abouts are you? can you lap dnace and strip tease? what do you have to wear? how do i contact you? and do have oil to give a massage? can you tie & tease too? would you be interested in food fun where i spray whip cream on your body and put strawberries on top and eat and lick the cream off you?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 26 October 2015, 01:12:38 pm
Quote from: geordie on 24 October 2015, 01:34:31 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 24 October 2015, 01:27:06 pm
Quote from: geordie on 24 October 2015, 10:50:24 am
Got this absolute corker this morning:

I won't lie (my name). I'll be honest. You are something else really. Classy, independent, confident, witty, intelligent, attractive, full of personality and positive energy, adventurous, exciting, full of life, beautiful, friendly, warm hearted, Elegant, pretty, stunning, cute, Special, self motivated and determined. Undoubtedly, you ooze sex appeal massively. You are all woman. Your perfect and poses every quality in a woman. You are a work of art. I want to marry you and I want you to be the mother of my children. I know by all your superb qualities you'd be an excellent mother and wife. Devoted, loyal and loving. I'm a current Medical Student with an IQ of 135. We can create a master race and live happily ever after. I want to spoil you and treat you like a princess. I'd support you in every decision and aspect of your life. I'd respect you freedom and independence and I'd love you with all my heart forever and always. I know You and your presence alone would make me feel warm, happy, safe and comfortable. I'd cut of a testicle for this to happen (not literally). I'm very sorry, yes, I'm a 19 year old boy fantasist lol. Also, very sorry for the long email and sounding like a complete and total freak/creep because I'm not, I promise. Please forgive me. Just had to tell you, open my heart and express my fellings. I wish you all the luck in the world and know we will both be happy, rich and successful in life. Truely. Take care and be safe. All my warmth and love (my name). Hugs and Kisses. Yours truely, (weirdo) xxx

Never met the guy but my god, he asked for an advance booking for today last week and I didn't reply as thought he was a bit odd. It's an absolute never after that load of drivvle!

That's a bit....I dunno.  I think good call on the absolute never!


The master race bit is my absolute favourite part! Hilarious

Oh I don't know, I think "I'd cut of a testicle for this to happen" [sic] comes a close second  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 26 October 2015, 10:02:50 pm
 aw service seeker  email   I want a real die nasty  hard bitch to give me  a good seeing too.
me I'm not suitable for you please try other escorts
him oh was I rude did I say something wrong ?
I just want gentle tie and tease  ::)
blocked coz I can't be bothered getting any more emails from him
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Librarylady on 27 October 2015, 10:12:33 am
Just got a phone call. We agreed 2:30pm and then he said he would put a booking through on AW. He then said he wanted to ask me some things about my service, I told him you can find most questions answered in my profile and he said he was at work so he couldn't look at my profile - I pointed out he had offered to put a booking request through.

So we move on, he asks me if he can bring his own condoms, I say no. Then as we are about to get off the phone he says 'so see you at 1pm then?' so I said  'I thought we said 2:30?' and he said, in a rather aggressive manner 'well now I'm saying 1' when I said I couldn't do one he just said 'ok, see you at 2:30 then'.

I don't bloody think so!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Midsstudent on 27 October 2015, 02:28:21 pm
First text:

Hi (my name), I'd like to try to make a booking today thx.

Second text:

Hi Jade, I'd like to try to make a booking today thx.

Made me laugh  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 27 October 2015, 02:35:51 pm
Him: "Are you incall or outcall"
Me: "Didn't you read my ad?"
Him: "No, but to be honest it didn't really say."

How would he know if he didn't read it?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amber_c on 27 October 2015, 08:26:07 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 26 October 2015, 01:12:38 pm
Quote from: geordie on 24 October 2015, 01:34:31 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 24 October 2015, 01:27:06 pm
Quote from: geordie on 24 October 2015, 10:50:24 am
Got this absolute corker this morning:

I won't lie (my name). I'll be honest. You are something else really. Classy, independent, confident, witty, intelligent, attractive, full of personality and positive energy, adventurous, exciting, full of life, beautiful, friendly, warm hearted, Elegant, pretty, stunning, cute, Special, self motivated and determined. Undoubtedly, you ooze sex appeal massively. You are all woman. Your perfect and poses every quality in a woman. You are a work of art. I want to marry you and I want you to be the mother of my children. I know by all your superb qualities you'd be an excellent mother and wife. Devoted, loyal and loving. I'm a current Medical Student with an IQ of 135. We can create a master race and live happily ever after. I want to spoil you and treat you like a princess. I'd support you in every decision and aspect of your life. I'd respect you freedom and independence and I'd love you with all my heart forever and always. I know You and your presence alone would make me feel warm, happy, safe and comfortable. I'd cut of a testicle for this to happen (not literally). I'm very sorry, yes, I'm a 19 year old boy fantasist lol. Also, very sorry for the long email and sounding like a complete and total freak/creep because I'm not, I promise. Please forgive me. Just had to tell you, open my heart and express my fellings. I wish you all the luck in the world and know we will both be happy, rich and successful in life. Truely. Take care and be safe. All my warmth and love (my name). Hugs and Kisses. Yours truely, (weirdo) xxx

Never met the guy but my god, he asked for an advance booking for today last week and I didn't reply as thought he was a bit odd. It's an absolute never after that load of drivvle!

That's a bit....I dunno.  I think good call on the absolute never!


The master race bit is my absolute favourite part! Hilarious

Oh I don't know, I think "I'd cut of a testicle for this to happen" [sic] comes a close second  ;D
I made the mistake of exchanging some messages with this lad after he messaged again wanting to take me to see a film and for a meal, presumably as a date. Told him I'm here for clients not boyfriends and to stop sending silly messages.
He replied:
Ok, I'm not after a girlfriend though. If girls read my message properly, at the end I stared, "I wish you all the luck in the world and I know you'll be happy, rich and successful in life. Take care and be safe". This is basically a fantasy, and it was my way if asking for a booking. I don't want a wife or girlfriend, I just want one for an hour. However, I really do understand how my message did come across wrong/creepy and stupid. I do regret it. I'm very sorry to everyone I sent it too and I apologise profusely. I'm not a time waster, but I can see why you all think I am. I understand you are all running a business and have no time for idiots/time wasters. Again, very sorry I just wanted to fulfil a fantasy for 1 hour. Very sorry for insulting you. My message about the cinema was genuine though. Very sorry for long message. I wish you all the luck in the world. Take care, be safe and all the best Hun. xxxx

Maybe I've been doing this wrong, but "I wish you all the luck in the world and I know you'll be happy, rich and successful in life. Take care and be safe" doesn't sound like "Please can I make a booking?" to me!
I'd block him except I want to keep an eye out for booking requests. :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 27 October 2015, 10:17:54 pm
Boundary pushing idiot replying to one of my ads in a contact mag (which I do get some sensible bookings from!)

Hi.we choose your ad from (contact) mag ,we r a mature male group keen to meet a beautiful young slim lady 4 a few days .pls txt tim x x x
(told him I don't offer group bookings)
Shame ,could pay very well plus expencies .thanks anyway do u have any friends that would meet us x x x
(told him I don't know any other escorts with a link to AW's search)
Thanks 4 that but its my tearn to find a gorgeous lady and i dont do computers .shame u r amazing .thanks again t x x x x x
(I didn't reply)
Sorry to trouble u again but what would u want to meet me for 2 days.also what your handful of fetishes thanks again t x x x x x
(told him I don't offer bookings of longer than 2 hours and linked to my AW profile)
Thanks but dont do computers .love to meet u for your working day .but just a dream again take care t x x x x x
Why you just do 2hours ,me and you 8 until 11 .thd day ,fun ,friendship ect pls im genuine t x x x
(told him my services etc aren't negotiable and that he should find someone else)
Thanks anyway hope you get on ok .i would pay ?2000 for a day

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: peppa on 27 October 2015, 11:18:46 pm
Lots of TW emails on AW today but this one made me giggle...  ;D

Hi
I've seen your photos on your profile and you are just what I'm looking for.
I'd like to ask if you can tie me up with 50 or more pairs of tights??
That's my fantasy ;))
How many pairs would you need!?? I'd like to be tied really tight:)
Would you leave me tied for a few hours?
Thanks


I wonder if he's had any luck yet ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissFlint on 27 October 2015, 11:51:44 pm
Quote from: peppa on 27 October 2015, 11:18:46 pm
Lots of TW emails on AW today but this one made me giggle...  ;D

Hi
I've seen your photos on your profile and you are just what I'm looking for.
I'd like to ask if you can tie me up with 50 or more pairs of tights??
That's my fantasy ;))
How many pairs would you need!?? I'd like to be tied really tight:)
Would you leave me tied for a few hours?
Thanks

I wonder if he's had any luck yet ;)

That one's been doing the rounds for a while now..  I got it a while ago.  I think I said something about him supplying the stockings and he didn't reply.   :-)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sera_fin on 28 October 2015, 02:28:47 pm
Received this message from a gent who nearly booked me until he noticed that I had begun to offer CIM. He gave me a wee lecture and then left me alone... until today:

I hope that you are well, and life is fulfilling.

After another rewarding visit to your private gallery, I still hunger after the opportunity to experience a mutually satisfying erotic encounter with the delicious and intriguing you.

The offer of a potential 20% discount is simply the icing on a very tasty and fulfilling cake.

To overcome my stringent health requirements, I came up with a solution. Would you mind if I made a booking immediately after one of your regular health checks? I have some 'freedom' around the middle of November, otherwise perhaps the end of December/early January? Where there's a will, there's a way. The possibility of helping you squirting with enjoyment, is particularly enticing.

Stay unique,


I told him in the politest terms to sling his hook.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlaqHarlot on 28 October 2015, 03:06:27 pm
Got this one today, I laughed out loud.

"Hi bb I'm looking for a bookin tonight I have a foot fetish and want u to make ur feet really dirty jump in mud and shit and rub it in between your toes and in ur nails them come to mine and I will lick it off for jus ?30 will u do that bb???"

I have no words....  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Librarylady on 28 October 2015, 03:23:49 pm
Quote from: sera_fin on 28 October 2015, 02:28:47 pm
Received this message from a gent who nearly booked me until he noticed that I had begun to offer CIM. He gave me a wee lecture and then left me alone... until today:

I hope that you are well, and life is fulfilling.

After another rewarding visit to your private gallery, I still hunger after the opportunity to experience a mutually satisfying erotic encounter with the delicious and intriguing you.

The offer of a potential 20% discount is simply the icing on a very tasty and fulfilling cake.

To overcome my stringent health requirements, I came up with a solution. Would you mind if I made a booking immediately after one of your regular health checks? I have some 'freedom' around the middle of November, otherwise perhaps the end of December/early January? Where there's a will, there's a way. The possibility of helping you squirting with enjoyment, is particularly enticing.

Stay unique,


I told him in the politest terms to sling his hook.

I kind of get where he is coming from but by the time you have the results you would have been working again so it wouldn't work.

Today I got a message telling me what he wanted and how much he was going to pay for it (less than my rates), NOPE!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 28 October 2015, 03:58:24 pm
Had a message from a guy recently asking for my hour rate etc. Let him know where he can find my rates. He then messages back about half an hour again I point him to where this information already exists. Then he starts saying he can be there tonight if I have a spare 15 minutes and how much would that cost? I tell him I don't do that but he insists and It's quiet for me so I kind of give him a price and think maybe it'll be fast and it's some extra money for the week.

Then he replies that it's too expensive and he already has a wife to take care of his sex needs but he wants to come over and have me strip off while he wanks until he finishes without touching me and asks how much that will cost.

Just why? It's like a game to see what he can get me to agree to.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Librarylady on 28 October 2015, 10:42:19 pm
I love this thread! Trashazn he probably wanted to see how cheap he could get you to go!

I had my very first word of mouth request today. He said his colleague had seen me and recommended me, I don't know why but it feels a bit weird lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sera_fin on 29 October 2015, 01:21:12 am
another gem:

I'm looking for a girl close by I can see in my lunch breaks and after work for quick sessions. I want regular 10 minute sessions no sex involved at all just touching. If we could come to a regular agreement of ?20 per session, like I said just 10mins no sex at all 3-4 times a week in my lunch breaks. I'm here 5 days a week so I'd love to see you regularly. Iv also got a lot of friends who would be interested. Please let me know if you would like to start these sessions? Send me your number and we can arrange our 1st meet.


no response

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 29 October 2015, 07:05:38 am
Quote from: sera_fin on 29 October 2015, 01:21:12 am
another gem:

I'm looking for a girl close by I can see in my lunch breaks and after work for quick sessions. I want regular 10 minute sessions no sex involved at all just touching. If we could come to a regular agreement of ?20 per session, like I said just 10mins no sex at all 3-4 times a week in my lunch breaks. I'm here 5 days a week so I'd love to see you regularly. Iv also got a lot of friends who would be interested. Please let me know if you would like to start these sessions? Send me your number and we can arrange our 1st meet.


no response


He should get a blow up doll for his convince in his work hours !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 30 October 2015, 10:21:34 am
Had this little gem this morning....

hello im xxxx 35 in xxxx xxxx, near birmingham
love your photos, your sexiest babe here,
im looking for a Mistress to force feed me her ass for 30 mins!!
i promise ill make it very wet ,
your so sexy id drink your ass juice in glass
plz msg back or txt xxxxxxx
im ready 2 meet asap!
im 100% discreet and our meet stays between me and u


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ms.Charlie on 31 October 2015, 11:31:01 pm
Quote
Hello (another girl's name) thankyou for taking the time tonread my mail

After reading over your profile if feel you would be perfect for a fantasy of mine it's an rather strange one

It is not a domination session I am look for

You are a posh upper class girl and I am your servent you must teach me perfect manners on how to be a gentleman such as how to dress how to greet you how to talk and how to be totaly perfect for a lady like you if I am not I get a punishment if I do well then I get a treat

Rather strange I know haha
If you are at all interested please get back to me

Thankyou mark

Ugggggggggghhhhh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 01 November 2015, 02:43:57 am
Got a regular who gets a small discount on bookings.  So tonight he emails me

'Wondered if you wanted to have a couple of drinks and make a night of it?' 

Why would I want to stay and turn an hour booking into all night for free, when I can be in my own house and comfortable and not have to make small talk and be poked and prodded?  But he is a regular so I'm polite and say thanks but I'll need to get back. 

'How much are you looking for tonight?'

I tell him the usual, xxx for xxx.

'Oh right, I thought I might get a discount for bubbles?'

WTF?  Why would he get a discount for giving me a drink?  Can I pay my rent with drinks that I've already drank?

I didn't bin him because he's a nice guy and a good regular, but I told him I already give him a special rate and not to ask me for discounts again because it's not cool.  He apologised profusely and spent the whole hour asking if I'm OK!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aleshaxx on 01 November 2015, 12:48:47 pm
I received this corker today....
Hi I would really like to meet you today but I don't get paid until next Friday, but I'm horny now. So I can't pay you but I have an expensive watch I can give you. After our meeting you will sell it and get ?140 for it. What time can you be available?

Hahaha!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Librarylady on 01 November 2015, 03:07:27 pm
Quote from: Aleshaxx on 01 November 2015, 12:48:47 pm
I received this corker today....
Hi I would really like to meet you today but I don't get paid until next Friday, but I'm horny now. So I can't pay you but I have an expensive watch I can give you. After our meeting you will sell it and get ?140 for it. What time can you be available?

Hahaha!!

Wow, his watch is worth exactly the price of a booking LOL
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 01 November 2015, 05:13:32 pm
Quote from: Librarylady on 01 November 2015, 03:07:27 pm
Quote from: Aleshaxx on 01 November 2015, 12:48:47 pm
I received this corker today....
Hi I would really like to meet you today but I don't get paid until next Friday, but I'm horny now. So I can't pay you but I have an expensive watch I can give you. After our meeting you will sell it and get ?140 for it. What time can you be available?

Hahaha!!

Wow, his watch is worth exactly the price of a booking LOL

whats wrong with him? , there are payday loans or wonga !!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Secret-Whore on 01 November 2015, 06:18:50 pm
I do mainly outcalls and I don't do 30 minute outcalls. I also charge extra for anal, depending on length of booking.
Anyway, client contacted me and confirms what my profile says ("If I book X hours, anal is included right?") and I confirm. Five minutes later, he texts me to tell me he's reached his withdrawal limit so can I do 30-40 minutes for less than my 1 hour rate and include anal, which would cost extra anyway? Twat.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 01 November 2015, 06:21:50 pm
'Hi, was just wondering if you smoke weed or like charlie we could come to some arrangement ;)  Also do u do outdoors? xxx'

Yeah mate, I'll have sex with you in a field for drugs, no problem  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 02 November 2015, 01:43:32 pm
some one keeps emailing me on days im clearly not working , oh looks like your not working today  :FF
He emailed yesterday asking for my mobile i  explained its on my profile
yet he didnt bother calling , isnt there a name for these kind of men? lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Librarylady on 02 November 2015, 01:58:19 pm
Quote from: Erotic Flower on 02 November 2015, 01:43:32 pm
some one keeps emailing me on days im clearly not working , oh looks like your not working today  :FF
He emailed yesterday asking for my mobile i  explained its on my profile
yet he didnt bother calling , isnt there a name for these kind of men? lol

Pillocks? hehe
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 02 November 2015, 10:11:08 pm
Quote from: Aleshaxx on 01 November 2015, 12:48:47 pm
I received this corker today....
Hi I would really like to meet you today but I don't get paid until next Friday, but I'm horny now. So I can't pay you but I have an expensive watch I can give you. After our meeting you will sell it and get ?140 for it. What time can you be available?

Hahaha!!

Err, why doesn't he sell it and give you the cash?! Clearly a scam!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: OFFS on 03 November 2015, 02:38:02 pm
A guy called me today saying he is in my area for the next two weeks and wants to book me for an hour each day and wants to leave a deposit. However, he wanted to see what he was getting before hand and said he'd left his bank card at home.....would I see him and give him a 15min freebie ::) Could see it was clearly a scam so politely declined. He then offered to just wank in front of me to which I replied I could watch porn if I wanted to see that. He then asked for pictures and sent his email address. I redirected him to AW but he claims he can't access it on his phone......so where he got my number from puzzles me.

Why do they think we are so stupid? :FF I was tempted to email pictures of really ugly people but he is not worth my time
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Librarylady on 03 November 2015, 03:37:07 pm
Quote from: OFFS on 03 November 2015, 02:38:02 pm
He then asked for pictures and sent his email address. I redirected him to AW but he claims he can't access it on his phone......so where he got my number from puzzles me.

Why do they think we are so stupid? :FF I was tempted to email pictures of really ugly people but he is not worth my time

I've had this exact same bit before and when I asked him where he got my number he said he went to the library or something but couldn't remember what I looked like.

Why do they not just look for free porn pics on the internet?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 03 November 2015, 04:42:56 pm
I kept getting a call from a withheld number on my work phone, out of curiosity I answer it and say "Please call back on a visible number" his response " Oh sorry I've been threatening my neighbour anonymously after he objected to my extension, I'll call back"

No thanks x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 03 November 2015, 05:57:08 pm
email this morning asking to act out his fantasy
i want to walk into your place and handcuff you and tie you up ( i dont advertise as submissive )
i want to face fuck you and make you my sex slave  fuck you hard  make you gag  fuck you hard in all your holes ( i got dental problems at the moment   oouch) :o
then he writes how does that sound to you? 
i replied
NO thanks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlaqHarlot on 03 November 2015, 06:14:32 pm
Here's one I recieved earlier...

"Hii wow I must say you are very gorgeous and just my type! I used to have an arrangement with a girl on here where she would come to me for a couple hours and I would pay her ?20 just to give me a blowie nothing else and we would sit and chat after. I would really like to do this with you you are so gorgeous and I would love you to give me a blowie. What do you say bbe? Get back to me soon xxxx"

Erm.... I'll pass!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 03 November 2015, 06:56:02 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 03 November 2015, 04:42:56 pm
I kept getting a call from a withheld number on my work phone, out of curiosity I answer it and say "Please call back on a visible number" his response " Oh sorry I've been threatening my neighbour anonymously after he objected to my extension, I'll call back"

No thanks x

Hilarious!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fifilondon on 03 November 2015, 07:23:15 pm
My first ever message as independent on aw:

Hi

Would you be interested in farting in my face and making me worship your smelly feet? I'd also love to be splatted with custard pies

Steve

what a nice welcome  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 03 November 2015, 08:28:58 pm
Quote from: fifilondon on 03 November 2015, 07:23:15 pm
My first ever message as independent on aw:

Hi

Would you be interested in farting in my face and making me worship your smelly feet? I'd also love to be splatted with custard pies

Steve

what a nice welcome  ::)
To be honest I do those things apart from the farting, I think new girls on aw get guys looking for the shock factor though, I'd rather let a client worship my smelly gym feet then blast a custard pie in his face than suck his cock!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 03 November 2015, 08:42:32 pm
Quote from: Erotic Flower on 03 November 2015, 05:57:08 pm
email this morning asking to act out his fantasy
i want to walk into your place and handcuff you and tie you up ( i dont advertise as submissive )
i want to face fuck you and make you my sex slave  fuck you hard  make you gag  fuck you hard in all your holes ( i got dental problems at the moment   oouch) :o
then he writes how does that sound to you? 
i replied
NO thanks

Oh EF I had that one this morning too xx I replied "gross, and illegal". Sounds like he's doing the rounds xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 03 November 2015, 08:46:24 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 30 October 2015, 10:21:34 am
Had this little gem this morning....

hello im xxxx 35 in xxxx xxxx, near birmingham
love your photos, your sexiest babe here,
im looking for a Mistress to force feed me her ass for 30 mins!!
i promise ill make it very wet ,
your so sexy id drink your ass juice in glass
plz msg back or txt xxxxxxx
im ready 2 meet asap!
im 100% discreet and our meet stays between me and u

I really know I'm not going to want to hear the answer but can't stop myself. Pray what is ass juice? One can supposedly fill a cup with this?

On second thoughts please don't answer.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 03 November 2015, 08:51:25 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 03 November 2015, 08:46:24 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 30 October 2015, 10:21:34 am
Had this little gem this morning....

hello im xxxx 35 in xxxx xxxx, near birmingham
love your photos, your sexiest babe here,
im looking for a Mistress to force feed me her ass for 30 mins!!
i promise ill make it very wet ,
your so sexy id drink your ass juice in glass
plz msg back or txt xxxxxxx
im ready 2 meet asap!
im 100% discreet and our meet stays between me and u

I really know I'm not going to want to hear the answer but can't stop myself. Pray what is ass juice? One can supposedly fill a cup with this?

On second thoughts please don't answer.
And he's 100% discreet! who's he gonna tell? "I drank a prostitutes arse juice" it's us that need to be the discreet ones with the requests we get x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 03 November 2015, 08:51:59 pm
And yes what is arse juice?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fifilondon on 04 November 2015, 01:27:39 am

[/quote]
To be honest I do those things apart from the farting, I think new girls on aw get guys looking for the shock factor though, I'd rather let a client worship my smelly gym feet then blast a custard pie in his face than suck his cock!
[/quote]

oh don't get me wrong i'd do it, but zero feedback and probably no ?- pass  ;) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 04 November 2015, 02:24:56 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 03 November 2015, 08:51:59 pm
And yes what is arse juice?

Some dumbarses seem convinced that ass self-lubricates just like the vag does, in my experience. Might be that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 04 November 2015, 10:44:24 am
this client is more how to mess an escort around and send long messages appear genuine  and then complete booking then cancel on the day stating work commitments then saying he can then see me on day he said he was too busy  hmmm !!!  to which he was told i have booked a regular in at that time
i have now said do not text call or email and please call someone else to book now.
Hes just a waste of time
Anyone want him, no i thought not, thrown in the escort reject box  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BarbaraB on 04 November 2015, 10:57:06 am
he:  u are redhead ?
me:  do u see and read my profile and my photos?
he: yes i do, do u do  outcall ?
me: yes  i do but i have  rules  what i  say in my profile
he: told me
me  deep  breath : blah  blah blah
he: and u are really redhead ?
me: sure
he:  how much u charge  for overnight
me: as i say in my profile  1000
he:ok  and u you are really redhead
me: yes I'm
he:and u are party  girl
me:  no hun i say in my profile my meeting is  strictly alcohol and  drugs free
....and he just cut the phone ...... :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 04 November 2015, 01:53:32 pm
Quote from: barbaragoldilocks on 04 November 2015, 10:57:06 am
he:  u are redhead ?
me:  do u see and read my profile and my photos?
he: yes i do, do u do  outcall ?
me: yes  i do but i have  rules  what i  say in my profile
he: told me
me  deep  breath : blah  blah blah
he: and u are really redhead ?
me: sure
he:  how much u charge  for overnight
me: as i say in my profile  1000
he:ok  and u you are really redhead
me: yes I'm
he:and u are party  girl
me:  no hun i say in my profile my meeting is  strictly alcohol and  drugs free
....and he just cut the phone ...... :FF :FF :FF :FF

Sounds a lot like many of my rejected callers except replace "Are you Redhead" with "Are you Asian? Where are you from?" and other pointless questioning. Usually it's people who barely seem to speak English and have a thick accent so I reject them anyway. A lot of random calls I get sound like Nigerians and I'm not messing around with those.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 04 November 2015, 03:49:56 pm
It really is wanker Wednesday today.
Todays gems include 'Hi Bibi,Can I just tell you what a gorgeous c**t you have?'
And via email 'Hi my name is...I'm 19 and shy as I have a small penis and I am overweight.I've read your reviews and wonder what sort of service you would give me on my first time..(if you have read my reviews you'd know what to expect).He then went on to ask if I would pass him on to another escort when I kindly refused him...yep because I have nothing better to do than play matchmaker for him..utter turnip!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 04 November 2015, 04:19:28 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 04 November 2015, 03:49:56 pm
It really is wanker Wednesday today.
Todays gems include 'Hi Bibi,Can I just tell you what a gorgeous c**t you have?'
And via email 'Hi my name is...I'm 19 and shy as I have a small penis and I am overweight.I've read your reviews and wonder what sort of service you would give me on my first time..(if you have read my reviews you'd know what to expect).He then went on to ask if I would pass him on to another escort when I kindly refused him...yep because I have nothing better to do than play matchmaker for him..utter turnip!

Bibi i have retired early today as im turned off too by the crap !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 04 November 2015, 05:54:42 pm
text message today

"squirt bb?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 04 November 2015, 09:28:21 pm
Got a text today saying he'd like to book an outcall and couldn't get through on the phone.  I text back because the phone had been off, and he replies 'Oh sorry, I wasn't expecting to hear back from you to be honest.  I'll do it tomorrow for definite' :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 04 November 2015, 11:15:05 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 04 November 2015, 05:54:42 pm
text message today

"squirt bb?"

This type of shit makes me wanna puke. I had two similar today. First one *How much* second one was a caller! " Hello I need it now* Me-Hangs up phone. He then texts, "How much?? Then quotes my price and ended with "Now" they are all jackasses. Just some are bigger jackasses than others. @TrashAzn-Yes, always the ones with thick accents that can barely speak English. I get mainly Indians/Pakistanis. Sigh. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BarbaraB on 05 November 2015, 07:03:43 am
well i find  is  this do a lot of  English  guys  to ... don't say  hi, please , don't  read profile.... yesterday  was all like  this ...  my phone was  ringing  and in my head was  do i really want  pickup  the phone  ? what idiot  its  will be  now ...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 06 November 2015, 12:55:50 pm
Text received

"U want sex or not"

......no thanks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 06 November 2015, 07:50:11 pm
Guy text just "Hi" which I ignored and then followed up 30 mins later with:
"How much do you charge for an hour?"
I replied with rates and link to AW profile

"Have you got any cheap friends?"
Told him to try AW's search

"Would you do it cheaper for a first timer"
Told him my rates aren't up for negotiation and then a while later he text:
"Do you swallow"
Followed an hour later with just a question mark when I didn't reply   ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 06 November 2015, 08:17:44 pm
Got a message earlier asking how much, point to where he can find that information out, text 10 minutes later, "Will u let me fuck u and lick my cum out of you? I'll pay that if I can fuck u and lick my cum out of u"  some people have some odd ideas.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 08 November 2015, 09:28:33 am
Message on AW



Down on my Knees.. Under your divine feet

Hello Goddess

I am Vishal.

i am 28 year old virgin guy.
Wud love to hav my first time with mature and beautiful lady like u
I am ready to do anything to meet you one time.


Mam, I want to book meeting with with you.
I would love to pay tribute
I wud love to meet u for a week or a weekend.
But, I am from india. therefore its difficult to get ur country visa.
So if you dont mind can you come to india or thailand next year ??

I will pay all of your expenses.
Flight + Hotels + Food + tribute.
You can decide, i will pay in advance and we can meet in march or aprol
Please Mam.


i am ready to do anything to meet u...
i can verify all my details to you ..Can send my documents..so u can verify and trust me
I beg you on my knees...
Please mamm

I'm off to book my flights before somebody else gets in before me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 08 November 2015, 09:31:10 am
And another too good to miss opportunity.

I have an hotel room in (hotel), get over here.

Also got a text from him at 3am in the same vein.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sourgrapes on 08 November 2015, 10:20:45 am
Had one yesterday: U up for it Lucy? (I'm not Lucy.  ;D )
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 08 November 2015, 01:27:53 pm
fantasist.. hi i love your profile, id like you to attach a chastity  belt to me and only you have the  key..
I hope this is something you would reconsider as i asked you ages ago blah blah  zzzzzzz  ::)
 so i challenged mr fantasist about the dangers of this thing and he says to me
ooh i must get off the phone right now can i call you straight back  ..
 I just blocked coz hes jerking off and not calling back
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 08 November 2015, 01:29:41 pm
Quote from: sourgrapes on 08 November 2015, 10:20:45 am
Had one yesterday: U up for it Lucy? (I'm not Lucy.  ;D )
this reminds me of when a guy chatted me up and handed me what he thought was his buisness card  it was another woman's business card
i said to him oh are you " hannah "? he looked very comfortable
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 08 November 2015, 03:17:28 pm
woke to an AW message this morning with no message at all.  just the subject line "u free?"


then this afternoon a text message from a guy who had been messaging for a booking last week.  i was going to take his booking til his final text "would you do half hour for ?40 bbe?"

duly replied i wasn't taking his booking as my rates were not negotiable

this afternoon he has text again saying "hlf hr 4 ?50 bbe?"


aaaaaaaand blocked!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 08 November 2015, 04:14:34 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 08 November 2015, 03:17:28 pm
woke to an AW message this morning with no message at all.  just the subject line "u free?"


then this afternoon a text message from a guy who had been messaging for a booking last week.  i was going to take his booking til his final text "would you do half hour for ?40 bbe?"

duly replied i wasn't taking his booking as my rates were not negotiable

this afternoon he has text again saying "hlf hr 4 ?50 bbe?"


aaaaaaaand blocked!

I struggle to gain the will to reply to people who text like that every single time I do they turn out to be a moron. Anyone who writes "bbe" goes in the delete pile because they are always some prick.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 08 November 2015, 04:43:22 pm
"Bbe" just makes me want to poke them in the eye.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 08 November 2015, 07:02:16 pm
Yeah I never replied. It is up there with the use of the word "bae " in my most hated words and phrases
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 08 November 2015, 09:47:22 pm
I just genuinely received the following, honestly. (spelling not changed)

"I just moved into a lushury apartment and want a lady to cum over and have some sham pain with me"

I know I'm a appalling snob about spelling but really!!! Jesus Christ.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 08 November 2015, 10:00:46 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 08 November 2015, 09:47:22 pm
I just genuinely received the following, honestly. (spelling not changed)

"I just moved into a lushury apartment and want a lady to cum over and have some sham pain with me"

I know I'm a appalling snob about spelling but really!!! Jesus Christ.

If you're trying to act like you're loaded you probably shouldn't spell like you never went to school lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 09 November 2015, 09:16:43 am
Looked at my phone this morning.Text at 1am :I'll ring you later if that's ok.
Text at 4am:I'll ring you later if that's ok.
WTF?Was he expecting a reply at either of those silly times?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BarbaraB on 09 November 2015, 09:44:00 am
yesterday  my regular    booked me for today morning ....

after  nobody  who  i have save  like Idiot  don't pickup  phone  start txt me how can't  wait  for next time to see me ... i was like what ?  just txted  him going  block  u  0 interest to meet u... after i get email from my regular i think  we agree   for meeting ...

so   in past he  try  book me of  other number  i  cancel  this  booking because he  acting  like small  kid ... and he just  try   book me  again  from other number  when  i meet him .. he was ok nice  young   guy..  obsessed  with  rimmed me (what  i really don't  like  but was ok ...)


well   long story  short  ...  i just get  in night  really  upset   when i find  he trick me  like this ...maybe I'm wired  but  this really upset me ...

he start  called me  and  txt me  was  1:20 am !! in  end  i spoked  with him i  agree  he is nice so  i will see him at 9 am before my check  out .. so just told him  txt me  at 8 am  and i will give u my details.

cool  i can't sleep   till 4am ....

wakeup  at 8am  waiting  next 20 min    without  confirmation  so  txt  him thank you for  lovely night and morning please don't contact me  again ...  and he  txt something  about is not big deal  wasting my time  etc etc ...

so i blocked him  everywhere   both numbers plus aw profile ...

 right now  feeling like  zombie ...  I'm idiot  or this will upset  u  girl  too ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 09 November 2015, 05:43:03 pm
Half these guys expect working girls to suck them off for a cone of chips and a scallop  :FF twats!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: politics999 on 10 November 2015, 12:18:17 am
Just had this

Quote
Dear 
I am in London for 3 days on 9th Dec and would be v interested in an Incall or Outcall booking for 2-3hrs on Friday with you. I am mid 40s, Single and work as an NHS Professional at a NW Teaching Hospital. I have regular check ups at NHS Warrington STD Clinic and made my 84th Blood Tests and donation on the 8th October, previous tests this year have been February and June; all results have been negative and I can bring the latest NHS Mersey NBS Documents as proof with ID. I have one little request, I am not keen on condoms.

I would like Sex bareback, but NOT to completion, pull out and cum on your body or where you want me to. I can bring champagne, wine or Spirits if you prefer to make things more enjoyable. I can also bring exotic massage oils and creams, good quality poppers (no headache) or if u prefer something stronger and Columbian!!. I also have a cock ring and tingly gel. I am fully shaven and looking for a regular, adventurous lady to see when I visit London (4? a yr( which may include overnites. You can check out my v good feedback on AW at *WANKER1*. I hope this gives you a little information and hope to see you soon.
Best wishes
"WANKER" /quote]


Obviously I pointed out to him the window periods for sTI'S 2 weeks for chlamidya and gonorrhoea and 1-3 months for HIV depending on the test you use. So i would have to live with him for 3 months to make sure he doesn't have any sex.

 I then explained my ?1.5 million bill in order to complete this. (which included my counselling bill because I would be mentally scarred having him come anywhere near me)

Wankers everywhere ><
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 10 November 2015, 12:21:14 am
It's extra worrying when they claim to be an "NHS professional".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: politics999 on 10 November 2015, 12:52:02 am
I know right! He probably just said that to try and make his request seem legitimate. like the ones who always claim they're doctors  ;D

What worried me was that he has tons of feedback from some girls I know. I know that it doesn't mean he's bb everyone of them but oh dear.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: politics999 on 10 November 2015, 12:52:59 am
oops realised I left his AW name in there >< lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 10 November 2015, 12:17:36 pm
Quote from: politics999 on 10 November 2015, 12:52:59 am
oops realised I left his AW name in there >< lol

This is fine, it's not identifying :)

"NHS Professional" probably means admin assistant in the account department.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 10 November 2015, 12:20:32 pm
I think the nhs guy has been doing the rounds for years it's the same cut and paste job I have seen on other places and heard other girls mention.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 10 November 2015, 02:05:35 pm
Quote from: politics999 on 10 November 2015, 12:18:17 am
Just had this

Quote
Dear 
I am in London for 3 days on 9th Dec and would be v interested in an Incall or Outcall booking for 2-3hrs on Friday with you. I am mid 40s, Single and work as an NHS Professional at a NW Teaching Hospital. I have regular check ups at NHS Warrington STD Clinic and made my 84th Blood Tests and donation on the 8th October, previous tests this year have been February and June; all results have been negative and I can bring the latest NHS Mersey NBS Documents as proof with ID. I have one little request, I am not keen on condoms.

I would like Sex bareback, but NOT to completion, pull out and cum on your body or where you want me to. I can bring champagne, wine or Spirits if you prefer to make things more enjoyable. I can also bring exotic massage oils and creams, good quality poppers (no headache) or if u prefer something stronger and Columbian!!. I also have a cock ring and tingly gel. I am fully shaven and looking for a regular, adventurous lady to see when I visit London (4? a yr( which may include overnites. You can check out my v good feedback on AW at *WANKER1*. I hope this gives you a little information and hope to see you soon.
Best wishes
"WANKER" /quote]


Obviously I pointed out to him the window periods for sTI'S 2 weeks for chlamidya and gonorrhoea and 1-3 months for HIV depending on the test you use. So i would have to live with him for 3 months to make sure he doesn't have any sex.

 I then explained my ?1.5 million bill in order to complete this. (which included my counselling bill because I would be mentally scarred having him come anywhere near me)

Wankers everywhere ><

I had that exact same email ages ago. I politely declined.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 10 November 2015, 03:24:37 pm
Quote from: Nova on 10 November 2015, 02:05:35 pm
Quote from: politics999 on 10 November 2015, 12:18:17 am
Just had this

Quote
Dear 
I am in London for 3 days on 9th Dec and would be v interested in an Incall or Outcall booking for 2-3hrs on Friday with you. I am mid 40s, Single and work as an NHS Professional at a NW Teaching Hospital. I have regular check ups at NHS Warrington STD Clinic and made my 84th Blood Tests and donation on the 8th October, previous tests this year have been February and June; all results have been negative and I can bring the latest NHS Mersey NBS Documents as proof with ID. I have one little request, I am not keen on condoms.

I would like Sex bareback, but NOT to completion, pull out and cum on your body or where you want me to. I can bring champagne, wine or Spirits if you prefer to make things more enjoyable. I can also bring exotic massage oils and creams, good quality poppers (no headache) or if u prefer something stronger and Columbian!!. I also have a cock ring and tingly gel. I am fully shaven and looking for a regular, adventurous lady to see when I visit London (4? a yr( which may include overnites. You can check out my v good feedback on AW at *WANKER1*. I hope this gives you a little information and hope to see you soon.
Best wishes
"WANKER" /quote]


Obviously I pointed out to him the window periods for sTI'S 2 weeks for chlamidya and gonorrhoea and 1-3 months for HIV depending on the test you use. So i would have to live with him for 3 months to make sure he doesn't have any sex.

 I then explained my ?1.5 million bill in order to complete this. (which included my counselling bill because I would be mentally scarred having him come anywhere near me)

Wankers everywhere ><

I had that exact same email ages ago. I politely declined.

I imagine it's been spammed a lot his writing style is a lot like the Nigerian scammers I get calling me and in my inbox often. They love very long winded overly descriptive posts  like they are writing an official letter I'm no sure exactly the reason maybe they think it makes them come off more genuine and high class.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Librarylady on 10 November 2015, 03:50:10 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 10 November 2015, 12:21:14 am
It's extra worrying when they claim to be an "NHS professional".

I had a client a couple of weeks ago not long after I just started who spent the whole booking asking for bareback and insisting he was safe because he was a doctor. He did not seem like a doctor to me as I've seen a few since as clients and they were all very middle class and professional, this guy looked more like a drug dealer. He spent the whole booking trying to manipulate me with the 'if you want me as a regular' lines to try and get me to break my boundaries. Some people are just horrible human beings.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: politics999 on 10 November 2015, 05:11:33 pm
I thought he might be a copy and paste job! I never take bb seriously because they all sound like time wasters.
I had a look at his feedback he has like 57 and there were service providers on there, who have then gone on to see some people who have emailed me looking for service. I was being nosy and noticed names. (possible sharing of feedback?)

He got upset at my sarcastic replies and said he didn't have to stand for the abuse and questions on his integrity. (Not sure where he got that from)  ;D but honestly I can't stand people emailing me about something I very clearly do not do with bogus claims and then get upset with my response.  ???  You emailed me mate. Email at your own peril.

Librarylady what a total tool. I didn't know being a "doctor" or a "Nhs professional" somehow makes you disease resistant/ for some reason "safer."
Wouldn't that make me more weary considering the fact that doctors come into contact with more pathogens, bacteria, viruses etc than usual?  ??? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 10 November 2015, 05:41:16 pm
Had it all today.Do you like big knobs?Why are you a big knob?You sound like one!
And bloke wanting to see me at 8pm that sounded like a creep I said no so he asked if he could have a 15 min asap.Thought hmmm ok then he then asked if I used my tongue so I said yes kissing and oral wouldn't be much fun without it..he then said no on my arse.I replied not on a basic 15 min quickie he seemed shocked..but why not?Cos I don't feel like going near your arse for ?40!Or entertaining anyone who sounds so rude.God do you reckon these guys ever get a good booking when they are so obnoxious and arrogant sounding on the phone?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aleshaxx on 10 November 2015, 06:42:19 pm
Quote from: Erotic Flower on 01 November 2015, 05:13:32 pm
Quote from: Librarylady on 01 November 2015, 03:07:27 pm
Quote from: Aleshaxx on 01 November 2015, 12:48:47 pm
I received this corker today....
Hi I would really like to meet you today but I don't get paid until next Friday, but I'm horny now. So I can't pay you but I have an expensive watch I can give you. After our meeting you will sell it and get ?140 for it. What time can you be available?

Hahaha!!

Wow, his watch is worth exactly the price of a booking LOL

whats wrong with him? , there are payday loans or wonga !!!!!
It's actually ?10 cheaper than my hourly rate...I kindly suggested he sell the watch himself and then he would have cash for the booking :)...oddly enough I didn't get a reply hahaha x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 10 November 2015, 07:44:36 pm
Had a number of messages today.....
"When are you available"
"When are looking at booking and I'll tell you if I'm available"
"Well, I'll tell you when I want to book when I know when you're available - maybe Friday at 5:30pm"
"Well you will need to confirm Friday afternoon"
"Oh but I may need to cancel last minute, would that be ok...I'll give you 10-15 minutes notice"
"Erm, let me think about that one - how about sod off and play text tennis with someone else and stop wasting my time" PRICK  :FF
"Ok, sorry, but can I still book just in case"
"Yeah course, I'll sit here and wait...actually on seconds thoughts, sling it and you are now BLOCKED"
Priceless!!  >:(

Dick number 2!
"Hi, how are you?" (about 16 kisses attached)
"Hi, WHO are you?"
"I'm xxx, fancy meeting me in my car and letting me smell your feet for 5 minutes and I'll buy you a pair of shoes (but I want regular pics of your feet). I see from your profile you are a tall lady so are your legs  really long. How long are they? Will you push the pedals in my car with bare feet and spread your toes before I smell your feet - I'm rock hard now thinking about it. Want a picture of my cock?'
WHAT THE FUCK  :o ;D I'm guessing he half expected me to say, 'yeah I'll do all that but sod the shoes, I'll do it for a cones of chips and a scallop and provide free footsie wank material' - what a tool!

Oh and the email from a guy saying can I book an hour with you to tie me up with 50 pairs of tights! Hmmm, yeah that's going to work - an hour to tie that many pairs of tights up, three times as long to undo them makes that 4 hours. Pass!!!  ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 10 November 2015, 07:49:36 pm
I've heard of the 50 pairs of tights guy before.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 10 November 2015, 07:53:05 pm
I've got plenty of tights and stockings etc, but no way would I sit untangling them buggers - it's bad enough untangling 3 pairs when I take them out the dryer!

Oh and talking of fantasists, also had one dude ask if I can constantly kick him in the balls for half hour, even if he's crying - WTF!! By the end of the messages he kept sending, I'd have done it for free with steel toe cap boots - gladly  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 10 November 2015, 07:59:51 pm
Quote from: Lois01827 on 10 November 2015, 07:44:36 pm
Had a number of messages today.....
"When are you available"
"When are looking at booking and I'll tell you if I'm available"
"Well, I'll tell you when I want to book when I know when you're available - maybe Friday at 5:30pm"
"Well you will need to confirm Friday afternoon"
"Oh but I may need to cancel last minute, would that be ok...I'll give you 10-15 minutes notice"
"Erm, let me think about that one - how about sod off and play text tennis with someone else and stop wasting my time" PRICK  :FF
"Ok, sorry, but can I still book just in case"
"Yeah course, I'll sit here and wait...actually on seconds thoughts, sling it and you are now BLOCKED"
Priceless!!  >:(

Dick number 2!
"Hi, how are you?" (about 16 kisses attached)
"Hi, WHO are you?"
"I'm xxx, fancy meeting me in my car and letting me smell your feet for 5 minutes and I'll buy you a pair of shoes (but I want regular pics of your feet). I see from your profile you are a tall lady so are your legs  really long. How long are they? Will you push the pedals in my car with bare feet and spread your toes before I smell your feet - I'm rock hard now thinking about it. Want a picture of my cock?'
WHAT THE FUCK  :o ;D I'm guessing he half expected me to say, 'yeah I'll do all that but sod the shoes, I'll do it for a cones of chips and a scallop and provide free footsie wank material' - what a tool!

Oh and the email from a guy saying can I book an hour with you to tie me up with 50 pairs of tights! Hmmm, yeah that's going to work - an hour to tie that many pairs of tights up, three times as long to undo them makes that 4 hours. Pass!!!  ::)

YEAH! You got tights man!!! He usually contacts cam ladies, but seems to have moved on!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 10 November 2015, 08:27:46 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 10 November 2015, 07:59:51 pm
Quote from: Lois01827 on 10 November 2015, 07:44:36 pm
Had a number of messages today.....
"When are you available"
"When are looking at booking and I'll tell you if I'm available"
"Well, I'll tell you when I want to book when I know when you're available - maybe Friday at 5:30pm"
"Well you will need to confirm Friday afternoon"
"Oh but I may need to cancel last minute, would that be ok...I'll give you 10-15 minutes notice"
"Erm, let me think about that one - how about sod off and play text tennis with someone else and stop wasting my time" PRICK  :FF
"Ok, sorry, but can I still book just in case"
"Yeah course, I'll sit here and wait...actually on seconds thoughts, sling it and you are now BLOCKED"
Priceless!!  >:(

Dick number 2!
"Hi, how are you?" (about 16 kisses attached)
"Hi, WHO are you?"
"I'm xxx, fancy meeting me in my car and letting me smell your feet for 5 minutes and I'll buy you a pair of shoes (but I want regular pics of your feet). I see from your profile you are a tall lady so are your legs  really long. How long are they? Will you push the pedals in my car with bare feet and spread your toes before I smell your feet - I'm rock hard now thinking about it. Want a picture of my cock?'
WHAT THE FUCK  :o ;D I'm guessing he half expected me to say, 'yeah I'll do all that but sod the shoes, I'll do it for a cones of chips and a scallop and provide free footsie wank material' - what a tool!

Oh and the email from a guy saying can I book an hour with you to tie me up with 50 pairs of tights! Hmmm, yeah that's going to work - an hour to tie that many pairs of tights up, three times as long to undo them makes that 4 hours. Pass!!!  ::)

YEAH! You got tights man!!! He usually contacts cam ladies, but seems to have moved on!!

Oh and he wanted to be left there for sometime; wow - all that in an hour  ::) now I know there are some weird requests we have to deal with, but that one is utter bollocks and an impossibility. I'm guessing his hope was that an unsuspecting WG would agree to tie him up for an hour without realising it'd take hours to untie the twat. It seems Bunsen burners may have their uses outside the school lab after all   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 10 November 2015, 10:02:30 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 06 November 2015, 07:50:11 pm
Guy text just "Hi" which I ignored and then followed up 30 mins later with:
"How much do you charge for an hour?"
I replied with rates and link to AW profile

"Have you got any cheap friends?"
Told him to try AW's search

"Would you do it cheaper for a first timer"
Told him my rates aren't up for negotiation and then a while later he text:
"Do you swallow"
Followed an hour later with just a question mark when I didn't reply   ::)

That gets right up my nose when they send a question mark when you don't reply.....someone who I was arranging a booking with who I had seen before did that the other day when I didn't reply straightaway and I told him it was very rude to do that!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 11 November 2015, 09:37:06 am
":) Nice to meet you I am Ron. Hope you had a Good day today I am 27 years old. Good looking, tall and very fit guy with a Sexy Lips.. <3 <3 <3Nice Clean and shaved body with always hard cock. I just seen your profile on here and You Look Amazing. You are a Beauty. I am writing to you Because I would like to know more about you. I also got a good quality camera and I am good with editing photos. I was thinking we should take some PRO photos for you so you can get more clients mean more money. I am really shocked by you looking so sexy with your Cute Body. Kisses <3 <3 <3. I will be more than Happy to know more about you. If you need i can send you by email couple of photos of me. xx I also interested to work as a couple (FM) If you like. Photos are FREE to you. xx Thank you for your time to read my message. :) Have a Nice Night. xx

Hope to hear about you soon."

FREE photos?! How can I say no! ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 11 November 2015, 12:56:47 pm
A few months ago a guy booked, then cancelled due to "family emergency." A few weeks later he asked about availability. No booking came about. Then he contacted the next time I was in town about availability... and I replied... and then he texted "Sorry I'm a loser. Please ignore any future requests from me. Have a nice life." I figured he was having a case of the guilties - no big deal, really. I saved him as "Loser" but wasn't particularly annoyed.

Yesterday he texted as if nothing had happened. "Hey, Fab. Hope you are well. Would you like to meet tomorrow at 11am for an hour?"

All I did was copy and paste his "I'm a loser" text to him. And he replied, "Well played. Sorry if you feel I wasted your time."

"Well played?" ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 11 November 2015, 01:17:27 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 11 November 2015, 12:56:47 pm
A few months ago a guy booked, then cancelled due to "family emergency." A few weeks later he asked about availability. No booking came about. Then he contacted the next time I was in town about availability... and I replied... and then he texted "Sorry I'm a loser. Please ignore any future requests from me. Have a nice life." I figured he was having a case of the guilties - no big deal, really. I saved him as "Loser" but wasn't particularly annoyed.

Yesterday he texted as if nothing had happened. "Hey, Fab. Hope you are well. Would you like to meet tomorrow at 11am for an hour?"

All I did was copy and paste his "I'm a loser" text to him. And he replied, "Well played. Sorry if you feel I wasted your time."

"Well played?" ???

It's a game to them. Well played meaning well done for figuring him out as he is one of many that fail to realize we save numbers. I don't get when they ask about availability and then not get back to you. To me the ones that inquire about availability are time-wasters so I ignore them anyway.

Ugly Baboon -Hey when are you available?
Me-I am available  from so and so time today and all day tomorrow
Ugly baboon-Doesn't respond
Me-Saves name as stupid jackass and ignores any further attempts of contact.
Problem solved.

99.9% of the time when someone inquires about availability nothing ever comes from it. For me anyways. So why bother. *Shrugs Shoulders*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 11 November 2015, 02:49:01 pm
Time waster this morning via email back and forth.

"Do you squirt?"

"Well that depends"

"On what? I want you to squirt all over my body can you do that?"

"This isn't really something I do on demand."

"I'll pay you extra if you want."

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 11 November 2015, 03:38:37 pm
Text message received....

Chancer: Hi, I'm really good at oral and I see your rates are xxx. I'm that good at giving oral can I just do half hour and I'll make you squeal

Me: Hmmm, I don't do half hours, sorry

C: Ok, let's see how business minded you are - if I don't make you cum in half hour or less, then I will pay you for an hour, even if it takes you 4 hours to come

Me: Wow - cheers...How about no chance, I can make myself cum in 5 minutes flat without the need of being bored for 4 hours at a miniscule cost of X per hour

C: you don't know what you're missing as I am super good

Me: well I'm sure you can find someone to see you if you're such a super licker; for the record, women like oral to be done in different ways and there's no standard way

C: I'm good, plenty have said

Me: Ok, fact or fiction - can you tell when a woman has an orgasm which is real

C: yes, they groan a bit and start sort of fitting

Me: Wow, you're good - Go away  :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 11 November 2015, 05:16:35 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 11 November 2015, 12:56:47 pm
A few months ago a guy booked, then cancelled due to "family emergency." A few weeks later he asked about availability. No booking came about. Then he contacted the next time I was in town about availability... and I replied... and then he texted "Sorry I'm a loser. Please ignore any future requests from me. Have a nice life." I figured he was having a case of the guilties - no big deal, really. I saved him as "Loser" but wasn't particularly annoyed.

Yesterday he texted as if nothing had happened. "Hey, Fab. Hope you are well. Would you like to meet tomorrow at 11am for an hour?"

All I did was copy and paste his "I'm a loser" text to him. And he replied, "Well played. Sorry if you feel I wasted your time."

"Well played?" ???

Isn't it incredible how many 'family emergencies' happen right before bookings. When I was new and naive I used to say, 'Oh I'm sorry to hear that, hope everything's ok.' Now I just do the standard: 'Thanks for letting me know (at least they had the decency to cancel rather than just not show up, right?), get in touch when you are ready to rebook.'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: UK-Milf on 11 November 2015, 05:20:43 pm
A message in my inbox today from a lovely (but totally deluded) man whom I've had numerous C2C sessions with....

" Darling Caroline,
  We both feel the connection we have with each other and although our cam sessions are special, I want to take
  it to the next level. I'm booked in at the budget motorway hotel in the middle of bloody nowhere on the   
  16th and 17th for a works conference.
 
  May I be so bold as to suggest the following:
  I would like to spoil you.....I'm offering you a free mini break with lots of pampering, with a chance to also see
  some clients during my working hours and make a bit of pocket money.

  On Monday evening I will treat you to a long and sensual massage (taking care of your every sexual need). We
  will then dine together in the hotel restaurant. The next day you will wake up to a bliss filled session before I go
  about my daily business. As my guest you are free to see a few clients during the day. I estimate you could
  make a few hundred pounds. Check AW, there are hardly any escorts in the area. From 6pm you can treat me 
  as your sex toy. The mini-break is entirely free  and is all about spoiling you. I understand how hard the
  demands of escorting can be. You're always taking care of the needs of often old and unpleasant men.
  I want to make this all about YOU!!!" :FF :FF :FF

  Totally deluded!!! Which bit of my hourly rate does he not understand ???:FF

   
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 11 November 2015, 06:40:19 pm
"So... to put it simply, I'm a 23 year old virgin and I want to have the best experience ever when I lose my virginity. I'm a bit on the fence as to who I choose to have this encounter with, but I really just wanted to know your thoughts on how we could make this magical?"

Someone is clearly looking for some wank fodder!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 11 November 2015, 06:48:04 pm
Just had a guy who messaged yesterday to set up a booking for 8.30pm today, and when I asked him how long for - no response... until 13 hours later. I then told him it was too late to book for this evening as I don't take same day bookings. 6 and a half hours later he responds asking again for today or tomorrow evening if not. When I pointed out how long it had taken him to reply to emails and said I was no longer free tomorrow evening, I got:

"Sorry busy no time to check emails you have a different  way of dealing with your clients no probs as I thought it woz already booked for 830 today I woz looking forward to meeting you I'd got flowers and chocolates just for you I would have loved to see the smile on you face oh well never mind maybe see you some time soon babes xx"

How could it have been booked for today when he hadn't even bothered to tell me how long he wanted? Isn't it interesting that he has no time to reply to an email to actually organise his booking, but he has time to go out and buy crap to bring along to said non-existent booking?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Librarylady on 11 November 2015, 07:31:45 pm
Quote from: UK-Milf on 11 November 2015, 05:20:43 pm
A message in my inbox today from a lovely (but totally deluded) man whom I've had numerous C2C sessions with....

" Darling Caroline,
  We both feel the connection we have with each other and although our cam sessions are special, I want to take
  it to the next level. I'm booked in at the budget motorway hotel in the middle of bloody nowhere on the   
  16th and 17th for a works conference.
 
  May I be so bold as to suggest the following:
  I would like to spoil you.....I'm offering you a free mini break with lots of pampering, with a chance to also see
  some clients during my working hours and make a bit of pocket money.

  On Monday evening I will treat you to a long and sensual massage (taking care of your every sexual need). We
  will then dine together in the hotel restaurant. The next day you will wake up to a bliss filled session before I go
  about my daily business. As my guest you are free to see a few clients during the day. I estimate you could
  make a few hundred pounds. Check AW, there are hardly any escorts in the area. From 6pm you can treat me 
  as your sex toy. The mini-break is entirely free  and is all about spoiling you. I understand how hard the
  demands of escorting can be. You're always taking care of the needs of often old and unpleasant men.
  I want to make this all about YOU!!!" :FF :FF :FF

  Totally deluded!!! Which bit of my hourly rate does he not understand ???:FF

 

Sometimes I just want to shake people like this. Why would we want to chill out from work by doing more work for free? Do accountants go home and do some random strangers taxes for free to relax? It's absolutely insane.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 11 November 2015, 08:19:19 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 11 November 2015, 06:40:19 pm
"So... to put it simply, I'm a 23 year old virgin and I want to have the best experience ever when I lose my virginity. I'm a bit on the fence as to who I choose to have this encounter with, but I really just wanted to know your thoughts on how we could make this magical?"

Someone is clearly looking for some wank fodder!

Either that or he thinks he is the Simon Cowell of the sex world. Like taking his virginity is such an honor that you need to audition for it lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sienna92 on 12 November 2015, 02:07:15 pm
I've had a couple of strange texts this week!

wasn't sure if it was some weirdo trying to get a reaction or he was being serious...
"I thought I'd try my luck and see. Well I'm from prison I'm out for the day to work I gotta go bk later I was wondering if u wanna make me a happy man and give me a free bee. You would make my day as its been ages. I'm 30 young and fit, go on its nearly Christmas let me know"
 ::)  Still 6 weeks away from Christmas the Baffoon! Fair enough if it was next week but come on! Why did he tell me he was in prison as well it was all just a bit odd!

Next one "Den Nha toi toi dangky Ngay"  ??? ???

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 12 November 2015, 02:15:12 pm
Quote from: sienna92 on 12 November 2015, 02:07:15 pm
I've had a couple of strange texts this week!

wasn't sure if it was some weirdo trying to get a reaction or he was being serious...
"I thought I'd try my luck and see. Well I'm from prison I'm out for the day to work I gotta go bk later I was wondering if u wanna make me a happy man and give me a free bee. You would make my day as its been ages. I'm 30 young and fit, go on its nearly Christmas let me know"
 ::)  Still 6 weeks away from Christmas the Baffoon! Fair enough if it was next week but come on! Why did he tell me he was in prison as well it was all just a bit odd!

Next one "Den Nha toi toi dangky Ngay"  ??? ???

Lol he's just another chancer with a dumb story they come with all sorts of crap. The other message is Vietnamese not quite sure it was meant for you. I think it says something about bailiffs coming to their house or something to do with marriage not quite sure somebody official anyway lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 12 November 2015, 03:13:37 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 11 November 2015, 06:40:19 pm
"So... to put it simply, I'm a 23 year old virgin and I want to have the best experience ever when I lose my virginity. I'm a bit on the fence as to who I choose to have this encounter with, but I really just wanted to know your thoughts on how we could make this magical?"

Someone is clearly looking for some wank fodder!

Noones virginity losing is ever magical!

Tell him Either you'll cum in your pants as soon as I get my tits out or you'll be so nervous you won't get hard and I'll end up wanking you until my achey arm resents you and your cock gets blisters. Take your pick.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 12 November 2015, 07:32:37 pm
Quote from: Wailing Banshee on 12 November 2015, 03:13:37 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 11 November 2015, 06:40:19 pm
"So... to put it simply, I'm a 23 year old virgin and I want to have the best experience ever when I lose my virginity. I'm a bit on the fence as to who I choose to have this encounter with, but I really just wanted to know your thoughts on how we could make this magical?"

Someone is clearly looking for some wank fodder!

Noones virginity losing is ever magical!

Tell him Either you'll cum in your pants as soon as I get my tits out or you'll be so nervous you won't get hard and I'll end up wanking you until my achey arm resents you and your cock gets blisters. Take your pick.

Haha! Very true! I've seen 2 guys previously who claimed to be virgins. Neither could stay hard and I could easily believe they were virgins. And if they were, they left that way too!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 12 November 2015, 07:54:40 pm


Tell him Either you'll cum in your pants as soon as I get my tits out or you'll be so nervous you won't get hard and I'll end up wanking you until my achey arm resents you and your cock gets blisters. Take your pick.
[/quote]

Oh Jesus, I am crying laughing here  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 12 November 2015, 10:52:40 pm
Guy in Glasgow sent me an email with the heading "yes baby", knew it was gonna be cringey but wasn't quite prepared for the link to a porn site of a video he just uploaded of himself wanking himself off for about 4 minutes and then the email said, when can we meet?

I checked his profile and he says lots of people take the piss out of him and he doesn't know why? Hmmmmm  ::)

As if an escort needs to see a picture or a video of another cock like we don't see enough. Was this suppose to turn me on?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Angie.B.x on 13 November 2015, 09:08:33 am
Just switched my phone on and one of the texts read "Hey babe you've got massive jugs, can I see you later today. I would really like to fuck you what's your address?" That will be a go to f#*k you little shit  :FF Another one sent at 03.25am read "Hello Angie are you working late?" Seriously!!  :FF  :FF  I await with baited breath the trials and tribulations of Friday the 13th lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sourgrapes on 13 November 2015, 09:13:09 am
Oh yes, I got the "you've got massive jugs" text. I'm a B cup. Not just stupid, but also blind.   ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 13 November 2015, 10:41:38 am
Quote from: sourgrapes on 13 November 2015, 09:13:09 am
Oh yes, I got the "you've got massive jugs" text. I'm a B cup. Not just stupid, but also blind.   ::)
He's been doing the rounds alot of ;adies have had the exact same texts up and down the country.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 13 November 2015, 12:16:06 pm
Oh, not forgetting the umpteen texts that drip through during the day just saying 'Hi' or 'how are you' - I'm often tempted to reply, 'Oh I'm great thanks, apart from yadda yadda yadda' and reel off an essay about how desperate/depressed I am so they don't annoy me again ::). However, I just ignore; it's easier and less finger action (I have enough of that to do with guys bumholes  :o). Any genuine booking won't really piss about with mindless dribble and will request a solid time and date without mincing around looking for text tennis.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 14 November 2015, 05:44:40 pm
" I saw your profile on AdultWork.com and ...
 Hi I am local and have a sorcifc fantasy where I want a woman to trick me into being dinner a bit like an adult hansel and gretel where I end up as a honey roasted pig
 
 Chris ****** - sorry if the reply is short or incorrectly phrased / Spelt but this has been sent from my iPhone 7"

I think he must have been watching the new series with Gino De Campo..

"ola my internet handle i have been trying to contact you for a while i already masturbate on top of yous profile picture about 95 times! are you impress? would you give me 350 pounds for a overnight? if yes text me for 078912352** mr.jay woodcock brown! "

Hhmm yes please lol frickin' idiots

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 14 November 2015, 07:29:13 pm
Quote from: Emma_C on 14 November 2015, 05:44:40 pm
" I saw your profile on AdultWork.com and ...
 Hi I am local and have a sorcifc fantasy where I want a woman to trick me into being dinner a bit like an adult hansel and gretel where I end up as a honey roasted pig
 
 Chris ****** - sorry if the reply is short or incorrectly phrased / Spelt but this has been sent from my iPhone 7"

I think he must have been watching the new series with Gino De Campo..

"ola my internet handle i have been trying to contact you for a while i already masturbate on top of yous profile picture about 95 times! are you impress? would you give me 350 pounds for a overnight? if yes text me for 078912352** mr.jay woodcock brown! "

Hhmm yes please lol frickin' idiots

 ::)

Wow so wait a minute.......

So illiterate guy number one wants you to eat him?  ::)

Then he blames his crap spelling on an phone that's not even out yet for another 11 months?  ::)

THEN the next illiterate guy wants YOU to pay HIM ?350 to put up with him for the night and wonders if you are impressed with him wanking himself into oblivion over your profile?  ::)

Ok you win! Your crazy emails this week well and truly make all of mine seem entirely normal.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: politics999 on 14 November 2015, 08:18:00 pm
I was just about to comment on that. LMAO. He must be texting you from the future. Your first time travelling client emma.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 14 November 2015, 11:43:17 pm
2 weeks ago I had a client phone me on the Friday nite just after 11pm for a booking, I said that I was sorry but he's left it too late to book me as I don't work at this time and even when I do work......I only take bookings with notice (I shouldn't have answered the phone, my bad).

He said when are you next available and I said Monday or if he prefers weekends then it would be the following weekend.

I was sitting in my jammies after just having a nice bath, hair up in a bun, makeup off and feeling nice and fresh and cosy in front of the TV and the guy turns round and says.......

Aw sorry, can I not just come round and suck your tits for 10 minutes?

I took a second to process his request and said I just wonder where in your mind you thought your request would be appealing to me even if I was working nevermind when I'm not?

He said I don't see what the matter is? I want to see you!

I said I would rather poke both my own eyes out than have some random stranger turn up at my house to dangle from my boobs for any length of time.

He just could not for the life of him understand why his request didn't get the response he was hoping for? His charming ways much have worked for someone else for him to be so unwilling to accept my answer being a swift NO!

He then proceeded to tell me to stop wasting his time, that I was cheap and that I WAS TO THINK before I speak in future?? Really? I wonder why thinking before HE spoke and taking some of his own advice didn't occur to him?

Is it just me or would anyone else have jumped at the chance of someone coming round to suck their tits for 10 minutes? Whether they were working or not?

It's not as if I don't like my boobs being sucked, it's all part of the service but his 10 minute boob sucking request (out of hours) didn't appeal to me in the slightest even if he paid my hourly rate (an hour is the minimum I do) which I very much doubt he would have wanted to part with ?130 for 10 minutes of boob sucking.

You just have to wonder what someone like that would be like in person if they can't even behave for 30 seconds on the phone? I'm so glad that so many of them give themselves away at the phone call stage which is why I point blank refuse to accept text messages from strangers looking to book me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 15 November 2015, 11:46:54 am
Hi babe can you rim me ?
I dont offer that service
oh come on just a little please.
why would i want to stick my tongue up some guys ass !!!
 cut phone call and blocked

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 15 November 2015, 12:41:11 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 14 November 2015, 11:43:17 pm
2 weeks ago I had a client phone me on the Friday nite just after 11pm for a booking, I said that I was sorry but he's left it too late to book me as I don't work at this time and even when I do work......I only take bookings with notice (I shouldn't have answered the phone, my bad).

He said when are you next available and I said Monday or if he prefers weekends then it would be the following weekend.

I was sitting in my jammies after just having a nice bath, hair up in a bun, makeup off and feeling nice and fresh and cosy in front of the TV and the guy turns round and says.......

Aw sorry, can I not just come round and suck your tits for 10 minutes?

I took a second to process his request and said I just wonder where in your mind you thought your request would be appealing to me even if I was working nevermind when I'm not?

He said I don't see what the matter is? I want to see you!

I said I would rather poke both my own eyes out than have some random stranger turn up at my house to dangle from my boobs for any length of time.

He just could not for the life of him understand why his request didn't get the response he was hoping for? His charming ways much have worked for someone else for him to be so unwilling to accept my answer being a swift NO!

He then proceeded to tell me to stop wasting his time, that I was cheap and that I WAS TO THINK before I speak in future?? Really? I wonder why thinking before HE spoke and taking some of his own advice didn't occur to him?

Is it just me or would anyone else have jumped at the chance of someone coming round to suck their tits for 10 minutes? Whether they were working or not?

It's not as if I don't like my boobs being sucked, it's all part of the service but his 10 minute boob sucking request (out of hours) didn't appeal to me in the slightest even if he paid my hourly rate (an hour is the minimum I do) which I very much doubt he would have wanted to part with ?130 for 10 minutes of boob sucking.

You just have to wonder what someone like that would be like in person if they can't even behave for 30 seconds on the phone? I'm so glad that so many of them give themselves away at the phone call stage which is why I point blank refuse to accept text messages from strangers looking to book me.

so true this. I do get pissed off when they are so thick over the phone but I have to appreciate that they show their true colors over the phone rather than in person. Fingers crossed they remain mentally challenged like this otherwise we will have no way to suss out the real from the fakes.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 15 November 2015, 12:44:37 pm
Quote from: Erotic Flower on 15 November 2015, 11:46:54 am
Hi babe can you rim me ?
I dont offer that service
oh come on just a little please.
why would i want to stick my tongue up some guys ass !!!
 cut phone call and blocked

I will Never :-X Some of them even say to me "Oh I will be showered and shaven in the area" Still doesn't make it any less grotesque especially knowing that most are so retarded that they can't even wash themselves properly.  That's like saying "Hey can you eat my shit? I would only eat healthy foods so it comes out nice" :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 15 November 2015, 02:07:54 pm
Hi there

I'm thinking to book you for a 2 hrs and I wanted to ask you few things.

Do you Deep French Kiss? I enjoy lots of tongue play.

Do you allow Oral With Out Condom (OWO) and Cum in your mouth? Do you swallow?

I also looking to have bareback penetrative sex to completion/ Cum inside your pussy without a condom. Let me know if you are OK with that. Please be assured that I'm clean and regularly tested. And I'm happy to share my results from my local GUM clinic with you.

Few things about me: I'm 37years old. Mixed race (Japanese/Greek). I have been living in the UK for the past 12 years. My phone number is: 079702503**

My apologies for such a long list of questions. I'm clean, respectful and genuine guy. Please let me know which services you are happy to provide and hopefully see you soon.

Kind regards,

Andy

Thank God he gave me his mobile number as well so I can block him on my phone as well as AW!

Revolting!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 15 November 2015, 03:55:31 pm
the ones that i keep getting are emailing continuously flattering me unnecessarily and  talk about wanting to make a booking but don't call then even say oh the numbers not displayed when it is
" oh are you available on such and such a day?" (when they know im not showing as working ) fantasists and timewasters  :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 15 November 2015, 03:58:05 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 15 November 2015, 02:07:54 pm
Hi there

I'm thinking to book you for a 2 hrs and I wanted to ask you few things.

Do you Deep French Kiss? I enjoy lots of tongue play.

Do you allow Oral With Out Condom (OWO) and Cum in your mouth? Do you swallow?

I also looking to have bareback penetrative sex to completion/ Cum inside your pussy without a condom. Let me know if you are OK with that. Please be assured that I'm clean and regularly tested. And I'm happy to share my results from my local GUM clinic with you.

Few things about me: I'm 37years old. Mixed race (Japanese/Greek). I have been living in the UK for the past 12 years. My phone number is: 079702503**

My apologies for such a long list of questions. I'm clean, respectful and genuine guy. Please let me know which services you are happy to provide and hopefully see you soon.

Kind regards,

Andy

Thank God he gave me his mobile number as well so I can block him on my phone as well as AW!

Revolting!

 yes its good you get the mobile to block , hes only got one certificate for his penis he should frame it and put it above his bed!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 15 November 2015, 05:56:42 pm
Just got this through AW... I don't do any of this, but how on earth does someone think they can cram all this into a single hour??? The mind boggles  ::)

'Hi Mistress,

I was wondering if we could arrange a session with you in control dominating me? I don't mean to sound like a script below, however i thought id include everything in regards to my interests to try and give you an insight into what turns me on. Hopefully from this you can then take charge and dictate how the session goes and control it as you will be in charge.

What i would love would be for you to take control from the moment we meet. You order me to strip to ensure i am naked and vulnerable with you taking all of my clothes away and putting them into a bag. You then make it clear that unless i do as I'm told i wont get them back and i will be thrown out the door naked. This will ensure control is in your hands from the start and i will have to follow your instructions to the letter.

Maybe after the initial control being taken by you, you could explain to me that im your slave and i will do as you want or else. To maybe add further control / humiliation to this you could dress me up in a bra, panties and stockings? This would be even more humiliating being thrown out the door dressed like this if i do not follow orders?

I want you to be authoritative but also secretly delighted that you have your own plaything which you want to use for your pleasure. The fact that you get turned on by the power you have over the slave should come across, that you will use your slave for your pleasure (Whether its to lick you out, use to face sit, use to thrash with your whipping stick etc) means he is worth something to you, but at the same time you will throw him out the door naked if he doesn't agree to Anything you want.

You would take great joy out of humiliating me in any way so I need to really go out of my way to please you and do anything you want to avoid this from happening. I think once you initially have control over me (you fully dressed and me naked, without no clothes or dressed as a sissy as my Mistress has now taken them because me and everything i own is now her property) you will then have something / hold over me to ensure i do as you wish.

I would then love for the following activities to be included in the session:

- Tie up my balls

- Boot and foot worship (if you could have your toenails painted with red nail varnish that would be very sexy.)

- Water sports directly into the mouth (Maybe also fill up a glass with some to force me to drink later on in the session)

- Face slapping (repeatedly throughout the session to maintain control not letting me forget for one moment who is in control)

- Spanking (over your knee with my cock and / or balls squeezed in between your legs)

- Rimming (huge turn on and if verbal humiliation could be delivered while forcing me to do it that would be great and also multiple times throughout the session?)

- Strap-on (With a reasonably sized strap on (small to average))

- Sissy play (Dressing me up with a bra, panties and possibly stockings)'

Sissy play??? Oooohhhh  :o not my bag - he has zip feedback as well; guessing he is looking for a bit of wank fodder, but not on my time x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ms.Charlie on 15 November 2015, 06:11:47 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 15 November 2015, 02:07:54 pm
Hi there

I'm thinking to book you for a 2 hrs and I wanted to ask you few things.

Do you Deep French Kiss? I enjoy lots of tongue play.

Do you allow Oral With Out Condom (OWO) and Cum in your mouth? Do you swallow?

I also looking to have bareback penetrative sex to completion/ Cum inside your pussy without a condom. Let me know if you are OK with that. Please be assured that I'm clean and regularly tested. And I'm happy to share my results from my local GUM clinic with you.

Few things about me: I'm 37years old. Mixed race (Japanese/Greek). I have been living in the UK for the past 12 years. My phone number is: 079702503**

My apologies for such a long list of questions. I'm clean, respectful and genuine guy. Please let me know which services you are happy to provide and hopefully see you soon.

Kind regards,

Andy

Thank God he gave me his mobile number as well so I can block him on my phone as well as AW!

Revolting!

Ugh, I had an email from this twat a couple of months ago too, must be doing the rounds in Glasgow. He wanted to put his feet in my mouth  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 15 November 2015, 06:21:31 pm
Quote from: Carla on 29 August 2009, 09:46:46 pm
Quote from: pandora on 29 August 2009, 09:21:06 pm
"If not, do you have any friends that would like me to stop by and wank?"

Send him in my direction- I"ll need something to watch once big brother is over for another year.

One of my most memorable was a lovely request from a gentleman to meet as friends, where I would be pleasured by this obviously very selfless man whose main priority was to give me a good time. How thoughtful of him:

"I'd be more into pleasurin u then anything. U work 2 hard and should be treated special and that's what I'd do 4 u."

followed quickly by:

"I'm hopin we can meet up at a friend level where ur not "workin" it'll make the sex so much more passionate. I'm sure u don't get that much. U should give me a discount seein as I'm more focused in givin u pleasure more then anything else ;)"

After being ignored:

"Uve neva given a discount or had sex 4 free?"

and about three hours later:

"I was just askin werent implyin nuffin I'm def willin 2 spend money on u who wouldn't ur an absolute knock out"

I kept them all because the whole conversation still makes me laugh like a drain. Berk.

I'm a celebrity, get me out of here is back on tonight  ;D my phone will be on silent  :-*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 16 November 2015, 01:18:50 am
Hi Jenny
I printed off your pictures a few months ago and wank over then every night. I can send you a video of my tributes if you like.

What I'd really like to do is come to your house and play with your tits while I wank. I am new to this and very nervous.  I also don't want full sex.  Just to play with your beautiful pendulous breasts as I cum over your thighs and stocking clad legs.
As I cum quickly this should only take about 10 minutes.  I can pay you  ?15
Hope to hear from you soon beautiful woman xxxxx x


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlaqHarlot on 16 November 2015, 01:55:09 am
"Hi been looking at your profile for months and enjoy reading your blog I would really like to book you for a 4 hour passion meet with non stop fucking to completion, cream pie? I am clean and will pay extra and I would like to blind fold you as well and tie you to my bed if your up for it. Get back to me? I am trustworthy I have good feedback from girls and can pay up to ?100 extra for a cream pie your so hot I really want to be inside you bare. Message back soon xxxx"

It just baffles me how these guys really think that offering more money will make me think "Oh it's okay I'll just risk my health for another ?100 quid it's fine" Dimwit!  ;D :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 16 November 2015, 02:12:00 am
Quote from: DesignerWhore on 16 November 2015, 01:55:09 am
"Hi been looking at your profile for months and enjoy reading your blog I would really like to book you for a 4 hour passion meet with non stop fucking to completion, cream pie? I am clean and will pay extra and I would like to blind fold you as well and tie you to my bed if your up for it. Get back to me? I am trustworthy I have good feedback from girls and can pay up to ?100 extra for a cream pie your so hot I really want to be inside you bare. Message back soon xxxx"

It just baffles me how these guys really think that offering more money will make me think "Oh it's okay I'll just risk my health for another ?100 quid it's fine" Dimwit!  ;D :FF

As frustrating as it is for those of us who do take our health seriously......that extra money WILL work with plenty of girls.

Have you seen how many bareback reverse bookings their are for girls who don't advertise it or normally do it?

I had a bareback request today as well, it's unreal how many of them want it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlaqHarlot on 16 November 2015, 02:46:28 am
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 16 November 2015, 02:12:00 am
Quote from: DesignerWhore on 16 November 2015, 01:55:09 am
"Hi been looking at your profile for months and enjoy reading your blog I would really like to book you for a 4 hour passion meet with non stop fucking to completion, cream pie? I am clean and will pay extra and I would like to blind fold you as well and tie you to my bed if your up for it. Get back to me? I am trustworthy I have good feedback from girls and can pay up to ?100 extra for a cream pie your so hot I really want to be inside you bare. Message back soon xxxx"

It just baffles me how these guys really think that offering more money will make me think "Oh it's okay I'll just risk my health for another ?100 quid it's fine" Dimwit!  ;D :FF

As frustrating as it is for those of us who do take our health seriously......that extra money WILL work with plenty of girls.

Have you seen how many bareback reverse bookings their are for girls who don't advertise it or normally do it?

I had a bareback request today as well, it's unreal how many of them want it.
I agree!
I don't normally look at RBs but I have seen some before and seen that there has been a worrying amount of bids most likely from girls who don't even advertise bareback.

It's a scary thought just how many punters and WGs actually do it on the quiet, I have thought about it many times, I block anyone who even dares ask me! I would never be as careless to risk my own health for some extra cash, unbelievable x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AngelHaynes on 16 November 2015, 04:08:12 am
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 16 November 2015, 02:12:00 am
Quote from: DesignerWhore on 16 November 2015, 01:55:09 am
"Hi been looking at your profile for months and enjoy reading your blog I would really like to book you for a 4 hour passion meet with non stop fucking to completion, cream pie? I am clean and will pay extra and I would like to blind fold you as well and tie you to my bed if your up for it. Get back to me? I am trustworthy I have good feedback from girls and can pay up to ?100 extra for a cream pie your so hot I really want to be inside you bare. Message back soon xxxx"

It just baffles me how these guys really think that offering more money will make me think "Oh it's okay I'll just risk my health for another ?100 quid it's fine" Dimwit!  ;D :FF

As frustrating as it is for those of us who do take our health seriously......that extra money WILL work with plenty of girls.

Have you seen how many bareback reverse bookings their are for girls who don't advertise it or normally do it?

I had a bareback request today as well, it's unreal how many of them want it.

+1

So many RBs, and if you have a look at a site called 'breeding zone' there are apparently lots of women who don't advertise it, but bid on BB RBs.

It just encourages these men to get more ballsy and think it's then okay to ask anyone if they will do BB.

I always can't help giving them a little slap on the wrist when they do.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 16 November 2015, 08:20:16 am
i like to think (in my hopeful naivete, that the girls bidding are actually only doing so in order to reprimand these idiots for risking their own health

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 16 November 2015, 08:41:31 am
Text at 4.03am this morning saying.......

Available

That's it, nothing else. Not even a hello. Where are he basic manners if nothing else?

Blocked.

Like I am sitting 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in my underwear just waiting on these types of people texting or calling me with nothing else going on in my life.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 16 November 2015, 11:36:30 am
This came  through on Saturday,

'Hello princess, I am interested in possibly having a serious relationship with you. I would like to know you more. I don't want to be a client. I am an international business man. If you're interested I'd like to be your man and take care of you in every way. Sincerely, idiot x'

Wonder how many replies he got on that copy and paste job. I was just about to jump in the shower so skim read it for a laugh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 16 November 2015, 11:43:21 am
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 16 November 2015, 08:41:31 am
Text at 4.03am this morning saying.......

Available

You know it will have taken you longer to write that post than it took him to send the text and for you to read it? Seriously, I wake up to at least one of these virtually every day. It's not really 'world championship' stuff, is it? :)

Likewise the RB stuff - if consenting adults want to have perfectly legal unprotected sex with each other, what business is it of anybody else's? If I'd posted a reverse booking request for bareback or whatever (rather than bother people who don't offer it by phone/email) and got a load of sanctimonious lectures from some self-appointed sex police I'd tell them to fuck right off.

Quote from: Roxy101 on 16 November 2015, 11:36:30 am
This came  through on Saturday,

'Hello princess, I am interested in possibly having a serious relationship with you. I would like to know you more. I don't want to be a client. I am an international business man. If you're interested I'd like to be your man and take care of you in every way. Sincerely, idiot x'

God loves a trier, alright ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 16 November 2015, 11:47:56 am
Quote from: Roxy101 on 16 November 2015, 11:36:30 am
This came  through on Saturday,

'Hello princess, I am interested in possibly having a serious relationship with you. I would like to know you more. I don't want to be a client. I am an international business man. If you're interested I'd like to be your man and take care of you in every way. Sincerely, idiot x'

Wonder how many replies he got on that copy and paste job. I was just about to jump in the shower so skim read it for a laugh.

Oh if I had a pound for every "international business man" offering me the world to marry them. I honestly can't tell if they are a fantasist or it's a honey trap to lure you into being pimped. I don't think a lot of them are smart enough to pull off that one though. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 16 November 2015, 11:58:50 am
Quote from: amy on 16 November 2015, 11:43:21 am
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 16 November 2015, 08:41:31 am
Text at 4.03am this morning saying.......

Available

You know it will have taken you longer to write that post than it took him to send the text and for you to read it? Seriously, I wake up to at least one of these virtually every day. It's not really 'world championship' stuff, is it? :)

Likewise the RB stuff - if consenting adults want to have perfectly legal unprotected sex with each other, what business is it of anybody else's? If I'd posted a reverse booking request for bareback or whatever (rather than bother people who don't offer it by phone/email) and got a load of sanctimonious lectures from some self-appointed sex police I'd tell them to fuck right off.

Quote from: Roxy101 on 16 November 2015, 11:36:30 am
This came  through on Saturday,

'Hello princess, I am interested in possibly having a serious relationship with you. I would like to know you more. I don't want to be a client. I am an international business man. If you're interested I'd like to be your man and take care of you in every way. Sincerely, idiot x'

God loves a trier, alright ;D.

It was more the lack of basic manners I was moaning about and the fact that, that is never going to get a booking with me so therefor thought it was relevant to this thread.

My gosh Amy, you don't half run a tight ship sometimes! Scared to speak incase you don't agree with it and I get another slap on the wrists.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 16 November 2015, 12:06:36 pm
Kendra, this is supposed to be a lighthearted thread where people can post about the ridiculously silly emails/texts/calls they've received - there are plenty of places here to whinge and rant (including a completely separate thread about reverse bookings).

This has been pointed out several times before by others who felt that what should be a fun thread was being hijacked and spoilt with endless rants blowing things out of all proportion, so if pointing it out one final time to try and avoid it happening again makes it a 'tight ship' then that's just fine by me :).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 16 November 2015, 12:20:44 pm
Quote from: amy on 16 November 2015, 12:06:36 pm
Kendra, this is supposed to be a lighthearted thread where people can post about the ridiculously silly emails/texts/calls they've received - there are plenty of places here to whinge and rant (including a completely separate thread about reverse bookings).

This has been pointed out several times before by others who felt that what should be a fun thread was being hijacked and spoilt with endless rants blowing things out of all proportion, so if pointing it out one final time to try and avoid it happening again makes it a 'tight ship' then that's just fine by me :).

I wasn't speaking about Reverse Bookings as such, I just made a passing comment on something someone else said about how some guys think that offering us extra money will make us offer them bareback. I just said that offering extra money DOES work with plenty of woman as there are tonnes of reverse bookings for it and with tonnes of bids. The bareback RB's always have tonnes more bids than the vanilla requests because usually there is more money involved.

I totally get what your saying, don't get me wrong. I just mean that sometimes when having a discussion, it can go off topic ever so slightly......that happens in every day conversations.

I apologise for thinking my post about sending me a text at 4am saying available wasn't as relevant to this thread as I thought it was.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 16 November 2015, 12:21:46 pm
Got a classic via AW.
Hi,I'm sat here looking at your pictures with my tiny cock in hand and some tissues about to have a wank.
Regards,Wanker M****

Couldn't resist answering with Jolly good,thanks for sharing... :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 16 November 2015, 12:31:57 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 16 November 2015, 12:20:44 pm
I wasn't speaking about Reverse Bookings as such, I just made a passing comment on something someone else said about how some guys think that offering us extra money will make us offer them bareback. I just said that offering extra money DOES work with plenty of woman as there are tonnes of reverse bookings for it and with tonnes of bids. The bareback RB's always have tonnes more bids than the vanilla requests because usually there is more money involved.

The reverse booking comment was not directed at you.

Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 16 November 2015, 12:20:44 pm
I apologise for thinking my post about sending me a text at 4am saying available wasn't as relevant to this thread as I thought it was.

Well we don't have a yardstick by which daft enquiries are measured, but surely you must know that this stuff is just background noise? :)

Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 16 November 2015, 12:21:46 pm
Got a classic via AW.
Hi,I'm sat here looking at your pictures with my tiny cock in hand and some tissues about to have a wank.
Regards,Wanker M****

I've had that one, I think :D. I also got:

'Hey, fairly new to this, would my low feedback score (1) prevent you from seeing me as im relatively new to this?, Im a tall, dark clean white male in my late twenties looking to experience the industry and if we click have our meetings become a regular thing?....However Discretion is of the upmost importance to me, your damn sexy though with a body id love to slam through the mattress, I cant lie lol sorry for the bluntness :P lol'

Delightful ::).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 16 November 2015, 03:24:31 pm
More of a, "HNTBAE that you're going to stand up." Gave me the name James Gordon and then hung up when I asked him to repeat my postcode back to him. I should have asked him how Batman was!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sienna92 on 16 November 2015, 05:20:08 pm
Just had this one... "Where are you? What services do you provide and how much? Are you available now?"

READ MY BLOODY PROFILE!  >:( How lazy can you get lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 18 November 2015, 08:25:13 pm
Quote from: sienna92 on 16 November 2015, 05:20:08 pm
Just had this one... "Where are you? What services do you provide and how much? Are you available now?"

READ MY BLOODY PROFILE!  >:( How lazy can you get lol

Someone actually mentioned a few phrases from my profile the other day, and then wondered why I was so shocked that he'd read the whole thing.

'Doesn't everyone who try to book an appointment read your profile?'

'Haha, no. Most don't even read the first line.'

'How do they know what you offer and prices, etc?'

'They don't. They'd rather waste their time and mine ringing to ask instead of reading.'

x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 18 November 2015, 09:08:07 pm
I used to go out of my way to make sure they'd read and understood everything. Now, as long as they sound like nice, sane guys I am not bothered. Remember when I was upset about that field report that mentioned rimming? Got a guy who thought that was going to happen. "Did you read my profile?" "I read your feedback and that field report!" "Yeah I don't offer rimming. That's specifically on my profile."

Fuck it. He'd paid by then.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 18 November 2015, 11:37:53 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 18 November 2015, 09:08:07 pm
I used to go out of my way to make sure they'd read and understood everything. Now, as long as they sound like nice, sane guys I am not bothered. Remember when I was upset about that field report that mentioned rimming? Got a guy who thought that was going to happen. "Did you read my profile?" "I read your feedback and that field report!" "Yeah I don't offer rimming. That's specifically on my profile."

Fuck it. He'd paid by then.

Yes but in my experience, those are the ones who go off and write reviews that completely discredit you rather than blame themselves for not reading OR accepting what's advertised on your profile. I get it quite a lot because my services are pretty limited. I'm getting to the point now where I'm beyond caring as I get myself stressed out, worked up and upset when that type of punter then runs along to his computer to slag me off. It's completely out of my control so what's the point?

As long as I am honest and as long as my clients (the ones I'm compatible with) are happy with me then that's all I should really care about.

Easier said than done though.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 19 November 2015, 04:52:41 pm
Gentleman emailed this morning asking when I could organise a duo.I replied today if I have a time and length of booking.Heard nowt until 15:48 where he replied 'Anytime from now and for an hour'
Mmmm bit of a problem there now...I'm busy and so are my duo mates!
I don't think some people get that I need abit of notice to ring round and sort it out so abit pointless leaving until hours later expecting everyone will still be free! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 19 November 2015, 04:55:26 pm
I just had someone phone me and ask me what special offers I have on this week  ::)

I think some get us confused with Tesco's!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 19 November 2015, 05:04:01 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 19 November 2015, 04:55:26 pm
I just had someone phone me and ask me what special offers I have on this week  ::)

I think some get us confused with Tesco's!

I blame the offer junkies for this. Always seem to be a couple who aren't doing well right away so they start putting up various offers on their page and 2 girl specials etc. Personally I think an hour of my time for the price quoted on my profile is a great offer.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 19 November 2015, 05:38:11 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 19 November 2015, 05:04:01 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 19 November 2015, 04:55:26 pm
I just had someone phone me and ask me what special offers I have on this week  ::)

I think some get us confused with Tesco's!

I blame the offer junkies for this. Always seem to be a couple who aren't doing well right away so they start putting up various offers on their page and 2 girl specials etc. Personally I think an hour of my time for the price quoted on my profile is a great offer.

I have lowered my hourly rates a few times in the past but I swear.....it brings a much higher volume of undesirables and total rats through my door. Why make less money and have to put up with more hassle and upset? Doesn't make sense to me and I've learnt that the hard way.

Any time I've ever had anything bad said about me is when I've put my rates down so never again.

I've never entertained anyone haggling with me or anything.

I just lowered my rates in the past around xmas and summer holidays etc but never again.

I don't mind having my 2 hour rates lower than most but not my 1 hour rate.

Never ever again!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 19 November 2015, 06:15:27 pm
oh please let me see you, i know you've blocked me on adult work and by phone, maybe you wont read this text, sorry for messing you around give a another chance  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 19 November 2015, 06:41:32 pm
'Fancy drink bae. If luk lik ya pics, you can gv me bj for half hur in mi car'  >:(

How should I answer? - 'Ooh, nice chat and you're exactly the type of twat I love to see, so yes please - can I  ::) and to help your lonely brain cell, I'll put it easier so you understand - Fk right off!'  ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 19 November 2015, 06:44:50 pm
Quote from: Lois01827 on 19 November 2015, 06:41:32 pm
'Fancy drink bae. If luk lik ya pics, you can gv me bj for half hur in mi car'  >:(

How should I answer? - 'Ooh, nice chat and you're exactly the type of twat I love to see, so yes please - can I  ::) and to help your lonely brain cell, I'll put it easier so you understand - Fk right off!'  ;D

I don't even know what any of that says? Why do some people go out of their way to write messages like that? Surely it must take more time, effort and thought to be writing in a different language?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 19 November 2015, 07:09:30 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 19 November 2015, 06:44:50 pm
Quote from: Lois01827 on 19 November 2015, 06:41:32 pm
'Fancy drink bae. If luk lik ya pics, you can gv me bj for half hur in mi car'  >:(

How should I answer? - 'Ooh, nice chat and you're exactly the type of twat I love to see, so yes please - can I  ::) and to help your lonely brain cell, I'll put it easier so you understand - Fk right off!'  ;D

I don't even know what any of that says? Why do some people go out of their way to write messages like that? Surely it must take more time, effort and thought to be writing in a different language?

I will never meet anyone that chats dribble like this - period!! I'd be irritated in their company for 60 milliseconds, never mind 60 minutes
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: OFFS on 19 November 2015, 11:56:55 pm
Mine tonight was a classic. Called asking for an overnight job, told me his requirements including the fact he wanted to stay in my home. I asked for a booking request, said he couldn't give one to discretion. He said he had cash coming out of his ears (oh my am getting wet at the thought of his mere millions...not)

 Asked him his rough location or hotel as he said that was where he was staying, no info given. I said I would take the booking but lets face it, I don't want a man who has no traceable info coming into my home so suggested a hotel. Claimed I was more horny in a hotel which he brought. He says hotel booked but my friend who works there will check in morning.

At this point he hadn't even asked my price which I raised. I gave him my price and lo and behold he said how cheap I was and he would pay me an extra 150....ding ding ding...yeah rightio. Then demanded I get my toys and do phone sex......hmmmmm now let me just run into my room and give you free phone sex with your stupid promise of a lot of money tomorrow night.

Ladies, I promise you, if he does turn up at 8pm tomorrow night in his ?40000 land rover, and a nice wad of cash in an envelope, then egg on my face and will buy each of you a mulled wine but we all now this won't happen so Lambrini for me I guess lol.

Men eh?

Ps says he travels and if anyone wants his number please ask
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 20 November 2015, 10:39:09 am
just had an email come in, asking for me to suck the cock for a whole hour, ::)
I had dental work done recently and there is no way a cock is going in for that long !!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 20 November 2015, 01:59:21 pm
Quote from: Lois01827 on 19 November 2015, 06:41:32 pm
'Fancy drink bae. If luk lik ya pics, you can gv me bj for half hur in mi car'  >:(

How should I answer? - 'Ooh, nice chat and you're exactly the type of twat I love to see, so yes please - can I  ::) and to help your lonely brain cell, I'll put it easier so you understand - Fk right off!'  ;D

Sorry love, I don't speak Klingon. Can I have that again in English?
Ou en francais, si vous preferez.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 20 November 2015, 04:58:48 pm
Had someone phone me the other day who I just didn't like the sound of. Asking if I receive humiliation etc which it already states on my profile that I do. Told him to ring me back the next day if he wants a booking and never answered, saved him as a maybe incase I was desperate.

Anyway he rang me just before and I answered, he simply shouted something incomprehensible about fish and chips down the phone, I repeated what 3 times and he still didn't make any sense then he hung up. I'm assuming that was his idea of humiliation. Pleased I never accepted a booking. Weird  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: OFFS on 20 November 2015, 05:37:50 pm
Quote from: OFFS on 19 November 2015, 11:56:55 pm
Mine tonight was a classic. Called asking for an overnight job, told me his requirements including the fact he wanted to stay in my home. I asked for a booking request, said he couldn't give one to discretion. He said he had cash coming out of his ears (oh my am getting wet at the thought of his mere millions...not)

 Asked him his rough location or hotel as he said that was where he was staying, no info given. I said I would take the booking but lets face it, I don't want a man who has no traceable info coming into my home so suggested a hotel. Claimed I was more horny in a hotel which he brought. He says hotel booked but my friend who works there will check in morning.

At this point he hadn't even asked my price which I raised. I gave him my price and lo and behold he said how cheap I was and he would pay me an extra 150....ding ding ding...yeah rightio. Then demanded I get my toys and do phone sex......hmmmmm now let me just run into my room and give you free phone sex with your stupid promise of a lot of money tomorrow night.

Ladies, I promise you, if he does turn up at 8pm tomorrow night in his ?40000 land rover, and a nice wad of cash in an envelope, then egg on my face and will buy each of you a mulled wine but we all now this won't happen so Lambrini for me I guess lol.

Men eh?

Ps says he travels and if anyone wants his number please ask

Booking all confirmed until 530pm...not a surprise and he has earned a block...and kicking myself for giving him the benefit of the doubt but glad common sense kicked in and didn't accept his charming offers of free phone sex, pics and sexting. Lambrini for me tonight then girls lol xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 20 November 2015, 10:01:04 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 16 November 2015, 08:41:31 am
Text at 4.03am this morning saying.......

Available

That's it, nothing else. Not even a hello. Where are he basic manners if nothing else?

Blocked.

Like I am sitting 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in my underwear just waiting on these types of people texting or calling me with nothing else going on in my life.

Did he bother to use a question mark? I bet he didn't. He simply couldn't be arsed to pay you any respect. I have had a few texts like this...'u on' ....'u available'...'u free now'

Like apes grunting.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 21 November 2015, 08:44:50 am
I'm sure I've seen this one before on this thread, but the number hadn't been in touch with me before:

Can you do 6 days booking I can pay you ?100,000 and I can give you a deposit off ?50,000 clear funds for you to start using straight away it is a business and pleasure the booking will take place in London if you are available please get in touch thank you and this is not a joke it is a serious offer thank you

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: politics999 on 21 November 2015, 03:31:47 pm
Ha!

I hope you'll be sharing some of that enormous payment with us  ;D ?50,000 upfront, ?100,000 in total. Some people are born fantasists  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 21 November 2015, 03:33:10 pm
Love your pics here.
Will you let me fuck your mouth whilst i film ?
If so , is this service included in your fee ?
Blessings
P
xxx


I know this isn't the worst we've ever seen, but the "Can I skullfuck you  / Blessings my child" type combo did crack me up!

H xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 21 November 2015, 05:12:02 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 20 November 2015, 10:01:04 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 16 November 2015, 08:41:31 am
Text at 4.03am this morning saying.......

Available

That's it, nothing else. Not even a hello. Where are he basic manners if nothing else?

Blocked.

Like I am sitting 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in my underwear just waiting on these types of people texting or calling me with nothing else going on in my life.

Did he bother to use a question mark? I bet he didn't. He simply couldn't be arsed to pay you any respect. I have had a few texts like this...'u on' ....'u available'...'u free now'

Like apes grunting.




 3.06am U up 


My smileys aren't working so I can't add any emotion to the post, not that there is any lol :-)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 21 November 2015, 08:59:47 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 21 November 2015, 03:33:10 pm
Love your pics here.
Will you let me fuck your mouth whilst i film ?
If so , is this service included in your fee ?
Blessings
P
xxx


I know this isn't the worst we've ever seen, but the "Can I skullfuck you  / Blessings my child" type combo did crack me up!

H xx

Oh wowsers  ;D  Hadley, what is a skullfuck?  :o ha x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 21 November 2015, 09:04:44 pm
Quote from: katrina on 21 November 2015, 05:12:02 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 20 November 2015, 10:01:04 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 16 November 2015, 08:41:31 am
Text at 4.03am this morning saying.......

Available

That's it, nothing else. Not even a hello. Where are he basic manners if nothing else?

Blocked.

Like I am sitting 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in my underwear just waiting on these types of people texting or calling me with nothing else going on in my life.

Did he bother to use a question mark? I bet he didn't. He simply couldn't be arsed to pay you any respect. I have had a few texts like this...'u on' ....'u available'...'u free now'

Like apes grunting.




 3.06am U up 


My smileys aren't working so I can't add any emotion to the post, not that there is any lol :-)

U up??????


hahaha HILARIOUS. U UP???? Up where? Up the fecking chimney Ug. That's what I would have replied.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 21 November 2015, 09:06:05 pm
Or I may have asked him if his brain hurt. The possible replies are endless.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 21 November 2015, 09:52:01 pm

Hey there sexy ?? would you be interested in having some hot fun and having your gorgeous arse bent over tonight? I don't have any money until Tuesday but I can give you my iPhone 6 for payment or you keep it till Tuesday when I can pay you, please say yes as your pics have made me hard and so horny ?? I understand if you won't, thanks this hard horny and waiting man
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Littlemisslondon on 22 November 2015, 10:46:06 am
Him: Hi so excited you've bid on my reverse booking... Just wondering how I'm going to get someone so sexy into the house without the neighbours being suspicious !!
Me: Not a problem, I can be very discrete, can happily dress like a mortgage broker/estate agent etc...
Him: Could you do a more casual 'jeans' look and could you park down the road??
Me: (Groan!) Sure that's no problem...
Him: Awesome !! As I don't think the mortgage broker thing would really work as Im only 21, also would you be able to park up and wait until I give the all clear? Not sure what time my parents are going out, it will be somewhere between 2-4pm, also won't be able to get to a cashpoint until after the weekend, so can i pay you by bank transfer before you leave??
Me: :FF :FF :FF :FF >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic flower on 22 November 2015, 12:29:13 pm
Quote from: Littlemisslondon on 22 November 2015, 10:46:06 am
Him: Hi so excited you've bid on my reverse booking... Just wondering how I'm going to get someone so sexy into the house without the neighbours being suspicious !!
Me: Not a problem, I can be very discrete, can happily dress like a mortgage broker/estate agent etc...
Him: Could you do a more casual 'jeans' look and could you park down the road??
Me: (Groan!) Sure that's no problem...
Him: Awesome !! As I don't think the mortgage broker thing would really work as Im only 21, also would you be able to park up and wait until I give the all clear? Not sure what time my parents are going out, it will be somewhere between 2-4pm, also won't be able to get to a cashpoint until after the weekend, so can i pay you by bank transfer before you leave??
Me: :FF :FF :FF :FF >:(

is he for real!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 22 November 2015, 12:49:47 pm
Quote from: Littlemisslondon on 22 November 2015, 10:46:06 am
Him: Hi so excited you've bid on my reverse booking... Just wondering how I'm going to get someone so sexy into the house without the neighbours being suspicious !!
Me: Not a problem, I can be very discrete, can happily dress like a mortgage broker/estate agent etc...
Him: Could you do a more casual 'jeans' look and could you park down the road??
Me: (Groan!) Sure that's no problem...
Him: Awesome !! As I don't think the mortgage broker thing would really work as Im only 21, also would you be able to park up and wait until I give the all clear? Not sure what time my parents are going out, it will be somewhere between 2-4pm, also won't be able to get to a cashpoint until after the weekend, so can i pay you by bank transfer before you leave??
Me: :FF :FF :FF :FF >:(

I've bid on a few reverse bookings in my time if they are offering the money I charge or very close to it and they seem fluffy and decent but it's almost always a waste of time as after they accept you....I then get hit with all sorts of requests that wasn't originally on their reverse booking or they go off and do their own thing which really annoys me so now I will only bid if it's someone I know I think x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Littlemisslondon on 22 November 2015, 01:38:11 pm
Kendra... this was BEFORE he decided on his reverse booking !! I couldn't stop laughing! x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 22 November 2015, 07:20:31 pm
Goes from 'Hi I'm John, I'd really like to book you how do I do that' to 'oh I don't live alone' (I'm outcall only)   to 'how would you feel seeing 3 men in their 20s'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 22 November 2015, 08:05:45 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 21 November 2015, 09:06:05 pm
Or I may have asked him if his brain hurt. The possible replies are endless.


I mostly ignore but sometimes I reply "sorry I don't see retards" 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 22 November 2015, 08:23:18 pm
Quote from: katrina on 22 November 2015, 08:05:45 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 21 November 2015, 09:06:05 pm
Or I may have asked him if his brain hurt. The possible replies are endless.


I mostly ignore but sometimes I reply "sorry I don't see retards"

LOVE THAT  ;D !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 22 November 2015, 08:28:20 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 22 November 2015, 08:23:18 pm
Quote from: katrina on 22 November 2015, 08:05:45 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 21 November 2015, 09:06:05 pm
Or I may have asked him if his brain hurt. The possible replies are endless.


I mostly ignore but sometimes I reply "sorry I don't see retards"

LOVE THAT  ;D !!!


Its funny that after I say that to them they suddenly start texting like normal human beings lol! Too late by then though I've already made up my mind that I wont see them :-)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 23 November 2015, 04:44:56 pm
Hi, I'd love to book a 3 hour session with you this Friday, would you put a cadburys cream egg in your pussy let it melt so I can eat it out?

Now I'm no prude but really! Wouldn't I have chocolate discharge for a while?  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 23 November 2015, 04:47:26 pm
Also, it's the wrong time of year for Creme Eggs!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 23 November 2015, 04:48:19 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 23 November 2015, 04:47:26 pm
Also, it's the wrong time of year for Creme Eggs!
If it was a chocolate Santa I might have done it
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 23 November 2015, 04:57:25 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 23 November 2015, 04:48:19 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 23 November 2015, 04:47:26 pm
Also, it's the wrong time of year for Creme Eggs!
If it was a chocolate Santa I might have done it
Or a toblerone might be interesting x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 23 November 2015, 11:10:57 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 23 November 2015, 04:57:25 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 23 November 2015, 04:48:19 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 23 November 2015, 04:47:26 pm
Also, it's the wrong time of year for Creme Eggs!
If it was a chocolate Santa I might have done it
Or a toblerone might be interesting x

i did this the over day with a client had chocolate wee all day not good!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 23 November 2015, 11:40:42 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 23 November 2015, 04:44:56 pm
Hi, I'd love to book a 3 hour session with you this Friday, would you put a cadburys cream egg in your pussy let it melt so I can eat it out?

Now I'm no prude but really! Wouldn't I have chocolate discharge for a while?  ???

I got asked for hard sports so much in Dubai I was tempted to take a lady's advice and stick a Mars bar up my ass
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 24 November 2015, 12:18:29 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 23 November 2015, 04:44:56 pm
Hi, I'd love to book a 3 hour session with you this Friday, would you put a cadburys cream egg in your pussy let it melt so I can eat it out?

Now I'm no prude but really! Wouldn't I have chocolate discharge for a while?  ???

I had a regular ask me to put a Mars Bar up there the other day before heading to meet him, told him no obviously. I'd be worried about getting thrush or something from doing that!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 24 November 2015, 01:36:15 am
Quote from: Just An Escort on 21 November 2015, 08:44:50 am
I'm sure I've seen this one before on this thread, but the number hadn't been in touch with me before:

Can you do 6 days booking I can pay you ?100,000 and I can give you a deposit off ?50,000 clear funds for you to start using straight away it is a business and pleasure the booking will take place in London if you are available please get in touch thank you and this is not a joke it is a serious offer thank you

I got this exact text the other day, I was planning on writing it here but you've beat me to it. Wonder if anyone replied to him lol

Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 24 November 2015, 02:13:39 pm
An urgent email received simply saying: ASAP


Think he's got a long wait ahead, like forever haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 24 November 2015, 02:59:36 pm
Guy texts:

IDIOT:  Can I have an incall today?
ME:  Sorry, I'm not doing incalls today, I am happy to see you on an outcall.
IDIOT:  Can't you do an incall?
ME: Sorry, I work from hotels and don't have a hotel room booked for today.
IDIOT:  But you could book one.
IDIOT:  Book a hotel room, I can pay for it.
ME:  If that's the case you book the hotel room and I'll see you at my incall rate when I arrive.

Unsurprisingly, I never heard from him again.....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 25 November 2015, 09:10:24 pm
I'm on holiday and it's all over all my ads etc. Just received this cracker through email. 
Quote
want lick both ur holes and make u cum so hard and put my cock deep in ur holes till u cum Over Mr and I cum all over ur Boobs or face or whatever u want it and then fuck u again Till u cant take it anymore x   

Sigh
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 26 November 2015, 11:03:02 am
Message received from AW, nothing unusual. I replied with my phone number and said call don't text. And they send a text...

Just adding, it wasn't so much that he didn't follow my instructions but that he had read my message about 2 minutes before and went straight to text.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 26 November 2015, 12:56:34 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 25 November 2015, 09:10:24 pm
I'm on holiday and it's all over all my ads etc. Just received this cracker through email. 
Quote
want lick both ur holes and make u cum so hard and put my cock deep in ur holes till u cum Over Mr and I cum all over ur Boobs or face or whatever u want it and then fuck u again Till u cant take it anymore x   

Sigh
I'm on holiday too and I've taken down my number on AW and plastered that I am on holiday all on my main ads and website and yet everytime I switch my work phone on on an evening to use the internet I've loads of missed calls and texts asking for bookings!Sods law!Guess they must save your number.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 26 November 2015, 02:29:20 pm
Oh no my number has been taken down til I'm back. This was an email lol.   Hope you're enjoying your time away xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BarbaraB on 27 November 2015, 04:35:27 pm
if u open my profile 

HOLIDAY  HOLIDAY  HOLIDA  HOLIDAY HOLIDAY  HOLIDAY
HOLIDAY 14.11-1.12.u  can  meet me in prague  but  i offer  just  outcalls  meetings
HOLIDA  HOLIDAY   HOLIDAY   
HOLIDAY   HOLIDAY   HOLIDAY
HOLIDAY  HOLIDAY  HOLIDAY   

MY TOUR  DATES 

bla blah  bla 
i don't  have number  on  my aw

 i day  i have  minimum 3  emails   in day asked  me  for   booking ...   upset txt  why is not my number showing, and i i say  i don't  work he say one  client  in day   will don't kill u wtf ... etc etc

i don't know   how  much i have to say  i don't work ...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 28 November 2015, 08:43:07 am
Quote from: barbaragoldilocks on 27 November 2015, 04:35:27 pm
if u open my profile 

HOLIDAY  HOLIDAY  HOLIDA  HOLIDAY HOLIDAY  HOLIDAY
HOLIDAY 14.11-1.12.u  can  meet me in prague  but  i offer  just  outcalls  meetings
HOLIDA  HOLIDAY   HOLIDAY   
HOLIDAY   HOLIDAY   HOLIDAY
HOLIDAY  HOLIDAY  HOLIDAY   

MY TOUR  DATES 

bla blah  bla 
i don't  have number  on  my aw

 i day  i have  minimum 3  emails   in day asked  me  for   booking ...   upset txt  why is not my number showing, and i i say  i don't  work he say one  client  in day   will don't kill u wtf ... etc etc

i don't know   how  much i have to say  i don't work ...

Just take your profile down and put it up when you return it's what I do
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BarbaraB on 29 November 2015, 08:12:36 am
Quote from: ParisB on 28 November 2015, 08:43:07 am
Quote from: barbaragoldilocks on 27 November 2015, 04:35:27 pm
if u open my profile 

HOLIDAY  HOLIDAY  HOLIDA  HOLIDAY HOLIDAY  HOLIDAY
HOLIDAY 14.11-1.12.u  can  meet me in prague  but  i offer  just  outcalls  meetings
HOLIDA  HOLIDAY   HOLIDAY   
HOLIDAY   HOLIDAY   HOLIDAY
HOLIDAY  HOLIDAY  HOLIDAY   

MY TOUR  DATES 

bla blah  bla 
i don't  have number  on  my aw

 i day  i have  minimum 3  emails   in day asked  me  for   booking ...   upset txt  why is not my number showing, and i i say  i don't  work he say one  client  in day   will don't kill u wtf ... etc etc

i don't know   how  much i have to say  i don't work ...

Just take your profile down and put it up when you return it's what I do

choice  but honesty  a  lot of  guys watch my  private   gallery and movies  so  i do  around  400 in two   weeks  just of this ...  what i think is not bad
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 29 November 2015, 09:34:14 am
Text received in the night:

"Hi
Pretty women chance
I'm a 37 yr old male
Own home etc
Seeking marriage to escort
Offer rent/bill free
Want nothing in return just
want an escort with to adore
and look after"

Definitely jumping on this!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 30 November 2015, 09:59:19 am
Quote from: Red KB on 29 November 2015, 09:34:14 am
Text received in the night:

"Hi
Pretty women chance
I'm a 37 yr old male
Own home etc
Seeking marriage to escort
Offer rent/bill free
Want nothing in return just
want an escort with to adore
and look after"

Definitely jumping on this!
Pretty woman eh?Methinks he is no Richard Gere...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Angie.B.x on 30 November 2015, 09:18:22 pm
Had this today: A/hole - Hiya mrs can you tell me if you tell anyone about your customers?
                              Me - No I am very discreet and never discuss clients with anybody else.
                        A/hole - Oh that's great mrs you've put me at ease. Are you free on Friday?
                             Me - Yes just give me a call and we can discuss this and come to some arrangement.
                        A/hole - Oh yes I will do my name is *** so you know who it is that's ringing you. I'm 25
                        very fit and good looking. I hope you are ready for some hot young c*#k mrs!

Awww wtf??? The mrs bit did it for me and I really can't wait to see this young stud...........NOT pmsfl  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 30 November 2015, 10:11:23 pm
Quote from: Angie.B.x on 30 November 2015, 09:18:22 pm
Had this today: A/hole - Hiya mrs can you tell me if you tell anyone about your customers?
                              Me - No I am very discreet and never discuss clients with anybody else.
                        A/hole - Oh that's great mrs you've put me at ease. Are you free on Friday?
                             Me - Yes just give me a call and we can discuss this and come to some arrangement.
                        A/hole - Oh yes I will do my name is *** so you know who it is that's ringing you. I'm 25
                        very fit and good looking. I hope you are ready for some hot young c*#k mrs!

Awww wtf??? The mrs bit did it for me and I really can't wait to see this young stud...........NOT pmsfl  ::)

I hate it when they tell me they are good looking and have a 8 inch cock.....I don't even see them. In my experience, the one's who think they are nice looking try to push boundaries because they think I'm getting a break from old men.....one actually said that to me once, the arrogance  ::) cringe! I don't care how good looking they are, they get the same as everyone else x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Teddy Bear on 01 December 2015, 04:39:01 am
Do you do incalls?
No.
What about bending you over in the alley next to my house with your knickers round your ankles or just pulling them to the side?
I don't think so.
Fuck off then you fucking timewaster!

Um I'm the timewaster in this situation am I lol SMH :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 01 December 2015, 09:30:45 am
AW message, "Would you be free for either a 15 or 30 minute session this morning? x"

Fair enough message, auto response kicks in telling to read profile for availability etc.

Reply from user to auto response, "Just to clarify, I've read your profile and know that you are available after 10am, I just wanted to check that you weren't already booked up!

If there's any more info that you need, let me know x"

Obviously hasn't read my profile as it says I'm not available today. And I really don't like the tone of him saying he knows I'm available!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Angie.B.x on 01 December 2015, 07:31:19 pm
I'm the same as yourself Kendra. The "I'm such a good looking super stud" fuds put me off every single time. If and when I do decide to see them thy've got a wee winky and can't last more than 5 mins  ;D ::) lol Give me an older guy any day x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 01 December 2015, 07:53:21 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 30 November 2015, 10:11:23 pm
Quote from: Angie.B.x on 30 November 2015, 09:18:22 pm
Had this today: A/hole - Hiya mrs can you tell me if you tell anyone about your customers?
                              Me - No I am very discreet and never discuss clients with anybody else.
                        A/hole - Oh that's great mrs you've put me at ease. Are you free on Friday?
                             Me - Yes just give me a call and we can discuss this and come to some arrangement.
                        A/hole - Oh yes I will do my name is *** so you know who it is that's ringing you. I'm 25
                        very fit and good looking. I hope you are ready for some hot young c*#k mrs!

Awww wtf??? The mrs bit did it for me and I really can't wait to see this young stud...........NOT pmsfl  ::)

I hate it when they tell me they are good looking and have a 8 inch cock.....I don't even see them. In my experience, the one's who think they are nice looking try to push boundaries because they think I'm getting a break from old men.....one actually said that to me once, the arrogance  ::) cringe! I don't care how good looking they are, they get the same as everyone else x

when I first started doing this job I had one of those ones contact me. He was like " I am a very good looking guy, when you see me you would think I am so sexy, I know I look sexy, I have smooth chocolate skin I am Indian, i am proper proper hott" Now remember this was in my early days so I went to meet this guy and he was actually rather plain looking. Not trying to be nasty but he genuinely was. There was nothing sexy about him whatsoever. He was no sendhill ramamurthy. I was so disappointed. lol. These men are just full of themselves and deluded when half of them look like a proboscis monkeys and aye-ayes. I wouldn't have mind if they weren't so arrogant though.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 01 December 2015, 07:56:20 pm
Just had someone try to book me saying he knows who I am. Said my name is Courtney and I work in River Island  ::)

Then sent me a text saying weed or cocaine?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saturnspirit on 02 December 2015, 12:11:50 pm
Quote from: Roxy101 on 24 November 2015, 01:36:15 am
Quote from: Just An Escort on 21 November 2015, 08:44:50 am
I'm sure I've seen this one before on this thread, but the number hadn't been in touch with me before:

Can you do 6 days booking I can pay you ?100,000 and I can give you a deposit off ?50,000 clear funds for you to start using straight away it is a business and pleasure the booking will take place in London if you are available please get in touch thank you and this is not a joke it is a serious offer thank you

I got this exact text the other day, I was planning on writing it here but you've beat me to it. Wonder if anyone replied to him lol

Xx

I had this idiot. Hes quite abusive http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=30460.0
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 02 December 2015, 02:56:06 pm
Guy phones me there for a booking but I had to cancel his call a couple of times as I was in the middle of texting one of my regulars and my other client was in the shower so couldn't speak.

So I send him a text to say sorry I can't take his call at the moment but I don't have any availability at all for this week anyway unless I get a cancellation.

He texts back saying OK are you available today?  ::)

Me: No, sorry!

Him: OK are you available today at 2.30 for a half hour and how much  ::)

Blocked!

Was going to take a third attempt to tell this guy I'm not available today and I don't do half hours.

He clearly had cock brain and wasn't thinking straight. How can me telling him twice already that I'm not available not register?  ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 02 December 2015, 04:29:30 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 02 December 2015, 02:56:06 pm
Guy phones me there for a booking but I had to cancel his call a couple of times as I was in the middle of texting one of my regulars and my other client was in the shower so couldn't speak.

So I send him a text to say sorry I can't take his call at the moment but I don't have any availability at all for this week anyway unless I get a cancellation.

He texts back saying OK are you available today?  ::)

Me: No, sorry!

Him: OK are you available today at 2.30 for a half hour and how much  ::)

Blocked!

Was going to take a third attempt to tell this guy I'm not available today and I don't do half hours.

He clearly had cock brain and wasn't thinking straight. How can me telling him twice already that I'm not available not register?  ::)

Do you think they do it on purpose to whine us up or they are just naturally stupid? I am getting confused lately.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BarbaraB on 02 December 2015, 04:36:08 pm
IDIOT   Hi lovely,   i hope   you are well  would you accept  35  for  15  min  with  anal ?

my you make  my day

 he i  hope so

me  i  will stay 4 ever  with u  for  free .. stop txt me

he  i don't  ask  for  this  35  for 15  min this fair  plus I'm   young and  clean

me DIY, if  you don't have respect and money   stop  disturb me

he i  have respect  and i have money    i just don't  want  to mint to 70 and  not be satisfied.. so i was  hoping  to get half price  for half time and  then come  back  for   future meetings

me i don't offer  15 min  booking  minimum  booking  is  half hour 70  and  anal is   extra  40  anyway  block  :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 03 December 2015, 11:24:08 pm
Just got a lovely email from someone called honky tonk womaniser saying......

?200 bb sex

That's it, nothing else. Normally I would tell a disrespectful boundary pusher with zero basic skills to fuck off but after taking advice on here not to engage with these people, I just blocked him instead.

He has good feedback as well from quite a well known girl!

Just goes to show that feedback is a load of bull. I only use it as a guide, nothing more. I never make my decision based on another girls experience, I decide on how they come across to me.

Literally every review system in the world is flawed  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissFlint on 04 December 2015, 12:45:17 am
Last week a guy called me asking it was really me in my pictures ( I don't show my face). I explained it was and said it would be pretty stupid of me to put up fake pictures as that would lead to bad reviews.  He then asked the same question again which really pissed me off so I said it was rude of him to keep asking.  He then asked if I was fat and spotty as he'd been told by his mates that sometimes escorts look nothing like their pictures. I hung up on him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 04 December 2015, 04:36:28 pm
7 missed calls in less than 1 hour from the same person  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 04 December 2015, 05:41:41 pm
Quote from: lacey666 on 04 December 2015, 12:45:17 am
Last week a guy called me asking it was really me in my pictures ( I don't show my face). I explained it was and said it would be pretty stupid of me to put up fake pictures as that would lead to bad reviews.  He then asked the same question again which really pissed me off so I said it was rude of him to keep asking.  He then asked if I was fat and spotty as he'd been told by his mates that sometimes escorts look nothing like their pictures. I hung up on him.

I would have hung up soon as he asked if that's me in the pic the first time. I do it to them all the time. When they ask that I just know they aren't genuine so makes no sense wasting time talking to them and blocking genuine clients from getting through to me on my phone. I'm surprised as to how many ladies give these men the time in the first place.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 05 December 2015, 11:41:16 am
Text came through this morning at 4am saying......

What's your address  ::)

Not even are you available? Can I meet with you? Just a clean assumption that I'm available, all frothed up and ready to go 24/7 and that I give my address out to everyone and anyone who makes contact.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 05 December 2015, 11:47:41 am
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 04 December 2015, 04:36:28 pm
7 missed calls in less than 1 hour from the same person  ::)
I have an auto text that goes out saying I'm not available and my website they can check out for availability. Some of them will still call over and over again. A quick trip to the website would tell them I'm not available that day!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 05 December 2015, 12:55:39 pm
Just had a guy ring me looking for a booking today, doesn't sound like a serial killer so I offer him a time which he seems so unsure of so I just say to him, I'm sorry but I can't take your booking when you seem so unsure since we've never met and due to timewasters! In my experience, those types almost always cancel or don't show.

He turns round and calls me a nutter  ::)

Then sends me a text saying "off you fuck"

Seriously? Lol!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 05 December 2015, 02:22:15 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 05 December 2015, 12:55:39 pm
Just had a guy ring me looking for a booking today, doesn't sound like a serial killer so I offer him a time which he seems so unsure of so I just say to him, I'm sorry but I can't take your booking when you seem so unsure since we've never met and due to timewasters! In my experience, those types almost always cancel or don't show.

He turns round and calls me a nutter  ::)

Then sends me a text saying "off you fuck"

Seriously? Lol!  ::)

You're giving too much of yourself away, Kendra. Just say, "Well, it sounds like you're unsure of the time you want. Would you like to get back to me when you can be certain?" He'll either call back when he's certain or he won't.

If he's just coming across as a dithering idiot and you don't want to see him, tell him that you need to double-check your diary and could he text you in five minutes. Then tell him you're sorry - you can't do it what a shame! Then save as "Don't Want To See."

Don't explain shit to these guys. Always make it smooth and act like nothing is an issue. Then do what you want to do, anyway.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 05 December 2015, 02:58:05 pm
Totally agree with Fabulassie.I just say to the ditherers 'Tell you what,have a think if that time suits you then by all means ring me back in 10 mins.'They either do or they don't.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 05 December 2015, 02:59:36 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 05 December 2015, 02:22:15 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 05 December 2015, 12:55:39 pm
Just had a guy ring me looking for a booking today, doesn't sound like a serial killer so I offer him a time which he seems so unsure of so I just say to him, I'm sorry but I can't take your booking when you seem so unsure since we've never met and due to timewasters! In my experience, those types almost always cancel or don't show.

He turns round and calls me a nutter  ::)

Then sends me a text saying "off you fuck"

Seriously? Lol!  ::)

You're giving too much of yourself away, Kendra. Just say, "Well, it sounds like you're unsure of the time you want. Would you like to get back to me when you can be certain?" He'll either call back when he's certain or he won't.

If he's just coming across as a dithering idiot and you don't want to see him, tell him that you need to double-check your diary and could he text you in five minutes. Then tell him you're sorry - you can't do it what a shame! Then save as "Don't Want To See."

Don't explain shit to these guys. Always make it smooth and act like nothing is an issue. Then do what you want to do, anyway.

+1

When I get guys like that I just ask them to call back when they know a time. I make it sound like its for his sake so he doesn't have to think of a time on the spot. Yeah, probably a time waster since most guys would have a particular time in mind, but some guys just get flustered talking on the phone and need the break to compose themselves. If he calls back, great. If he calls back and I don't want to see him, I'm busy. If he doesn't, someone else will fill the spot.

Just had a guy try to arrange a booking over text. I then missed his calls when i asked him to call (he calls 40 minutes later). I then text him to call if he wants to arrange a booking. He asks about uniforms and tries to book over text again. Sorry, I'm busy. Can't follow instructions, possibly genuine, but I'm currently too tired to take that chance.

Don't let them wind you up, Hun. Our mental sanity is tested enough as it is with the idiots who slip through the net and we meet, let alone giving mental capacity to the idiots on the phone as well
Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 05 December 2015, 04:36:39 pm
Well no matter how I handled it, I know I wasn't rude so turning round and calling me a nutter then that I've to take a fuck to myself only shows me that i dodged a bullet.

He just sounded so unsure, when I offered him a time which I think was 2 and a half hours away from the current time, he was humming and hawing then said ok that should be ok. I could tell he was wanting an appointments right away which is something I don't do anyway.

Should be ok from a stranger to me is too uncertain and I haven't got time for it.

Then when I told him I couldn't take his appointment due to timewasters and his uncertainty, he started giving me abuse.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 05 December 2015, 05:07:01 pm
Kendra, he was obviously a jerk, but you do seem to take every single bad interaction seriously and personally. It's eating up your emotional energy! Just follow Fabs' and the others' advice, brush it off, and get on with your day. If I got as wound up as you do over every timewaster, I'd be in the loony bin, seriously. Let it go!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 05 December 2015, 05:11:20 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 05 December 2015, 04:36:39 pm
Well no matter how I handled it, I know I wasn't rude so turning round and calling me a nutter then that I've to take a fuck to myself only shows me that i dodged a bullet.

He just sounded so unsure, when I offered him a time which I think was 2 and a half hours away from the current time, he was humming and hawing then said ok that should be ok. I could tell he was wanting an appointments right away which is something I don't do anyway.

Should be ok from a stranger to me is too uncertain and I haven't got time for it.

Then when I told him I couldn't take his appointment due to timewasters and his uncertainty, he started giving me abuse.

We weren't saying you were being rude, Hun. Just that it causes unnecessary stress on yourself because if you had acted differently he wouldn't have turned abbusive and he probably wouldn't have called back anyway. But, ya, know. Just opinions, we're all just trying to help one another.

--------
Just had a guy call to ask me if I would do an outcall to his hotel. I told him I'm only holding in calls today but he could come see me if he was interested. He sounded very suspicious on the phone. And then admitted that he hadn't booked a hotel yet, he wanted to book one in the area then have me come over.  :-\ why do that when I've just explained that I have a hotel and I'm holding incalls in the same area. I sent him off to read my extensive hotel security checks that I do, I knew that would put him off. Didn't ring back, surprise.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 05 December 2015, 05:13:43 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 05 December 2015, 05:07:01 pm
Kendra, he was obviously a jerk, but you do seem to take every single bad interaction seriously and personally. It's eating up your emotional energy! Just follow Fabs' and the others' advice, brush it off, and get on with your day. If I got as wound up as you do over every timewaster, I'd be in the loony bin, seriously. Let it go!

I wasn't taking him personally, I wasn't offended cause I'm use to his type throwing a tantrum. I was just posting here since that's what this thread is for and also to show how quickly his attitude changed, we're talking a matter of seconds here. Can you imagine spending an hour with someone who's attitude changes so drastically like that when he doesn't get his own way? I'm just so glad that the vast majority of them show themselves up long before they even get an allocated appointment.

If you see all my other posts as of late, my attitude towards the morons has completely changed, I just ignore them but it's a bit more difficult to ignore someone who's actually on the phone to you.

Sometimes when your on the phone to someone there and then, it's difficult to think of what to say and how it may be perceived by them so I just say what I'm thinking but I was polite about it.

I'm just getting ready to go out for dinner with friends so believe me when I say, I ain't wound up or bothered about this numpty. I've had 10 million times worse. His abuse was mild.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 05 December 2015, 06:53:45 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 05 December 2015, 05:07:01 pm
Kendra, he was obviously a jerk, but you do seem to take every single bad interaction seriously and personally. It's eating up your emotional energy! Just follow Fabs' and the others' advice, brush it off, and get on with your day. If I got as wound up as you do over every timewaster, I'd be in the loony bin, seriously. Let it go!

I agree with Kay - it's not a dig; just a 'come on girl; you're better than that' x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 06 December 2015, 09:59:32 pm
Texts that came through yesterday:

Him: when are you next in ** xx

Me: probably not until the new year

Him: ok bubba xxxxx

Him: also I'm a new escort but with no meets yet so have you got any contacts and I'm also free for gangbangs xxxxx

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 07 December 2015, 12:03:57 am
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 05 December 2015, 05:13:43 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 05 December 2015, 05:07:01 pm
Kendra, he was obviously a jerk, but you do seem to take every single bad interaction seriously and personally. It's eating up your emotional energy! Just follow Fabs' and the others' advice, brush it off, and get on with your day. If I got as wound up as you do over every timewaster, I'd be in the loony bin, seriously. Let it go!

I wasn't taking him personally, I wasn't offended cause I'm use to his type throwing a tantrum. I was just posting here since that's what this thread is for and also to show how quickly his attitude changed, we're talking a matter of seconds here. Can you imagine spending an hour with someone who's attitude changes so drastically like that when he doesn't get his own way? I'm just so glad that the vast majority of them show themselves up long before they even get an allocated appointment.

If you see all my other posts as of late, my attitude towards the morons has completely changed, I just ignore them but it's a bit more difficult to ignore someone who's actually on the phone to you.

Sometimes when your on the phone to someone there and then, it's difficult to think of what to say and how it may be perceived by them so I just say what I'm thinking but I was polite about it.

I'm just getting ready to go out for dinner with friends so believe me when I say, I ain't wound up or bothered about this numpty. I've had 10 million times worse. His abuse was mild.

I just hang up the phone if I can't be bothered to be honest. They all think there is a problem with the reception or something. But no, it's just me hanging up ;D The end button is your best friend. Sometimes I hang up almost instantly. e.g.

Phone rings:

Me-Hello
Dickprick-you working?
Me-click

For most the conversation would probably be like.

Escort-Hello
dickprick-You working?
Escort- Yes I am
Dickprick-What times are you available?
Escort-from 1pm-10pm
Dickprick-Any chance you can see me now at 12pm?
Escort- (getting frustrated at this point) No you can't I work from 1pm-10pm.
Dickprick-I'll pay you more
Escort- At this point you couldn't take it anymore so hang up.

All i'm saying is you save yourself so much pain by pretending you have lost connection and hanging up from the get go. You can even then send a text saying "sorry bad connection" then save their number as shit stink and ignore.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 07 December 2015, 04:16:01 pm
Phonecall today.

Him, hi is that ****?
Me, yes
Him, I'd really like to visit you on Thursday afternoon, are you around?
Me, yes is 2.30 ok?
Him, yes that's perfect,
Me, what type of service would you like, etc etc etc
Him, very politely describes what he would like......
Me, ok no problem, confirm with me on Thursday by 10am
Him, oh by the way I have a very sick mother that frequently becomes unwell so might not make the booking but I'll let you know by 1pm if anything happens.
Me, forget it then, call me Thursday if you're around.
 :FF

He was also clearly after a free phone wank, talking all sexy and sleazy, saying he's a very naughty boy, yuk
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 07 December 2015, 04:51:31 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 07 December 2015, 04:16:01 pm
Phonecall today.

Him, hi is that ****?
Me, yes
Him, I'd really like to visit you on Thursday afternoon, are you around?
Me, yes is 2.30 ok?
Him, yes that's perfect,
Me, what type of service would you like, etc etc etc
Him, very politely describes what he would like......
Me, ok no problem, confirm with me on Thursday by 10am
Him, oh by the way I have a very sick mother that frequently becomes unwell so might not make the booking but I'll let you know by 1pm if anything happens.
Me, forget it then, call me Thursday if you're around.
 :FF

He was also clearly after a free phone wank, talking all sexy and sleazy, saying he's a very naughty boy, yuk

The sexy/sleazy chat would have been enough for me to put the phone down nevermind him telling you he's a complete timewaster. I'm happy to confirm my service list is accurate but that's as far as it goes.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 07 December 2015, 05:12:23 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 07 December 2015, 04:51:31 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 07 December 2015, 04:16:01 pm
Phonecall today.

Him, hi is that ****?
Me, yes
Him, I'd really like to visit you on Thursday afternoon, are you around?
Me, yes is 2.30 ok?
Him, yes that's perfect,
Me, what type of service would you like, etc etc etc
Him, very politely describes what he would like......
Me, ok no problem, confirm with me on Thursday by 10am
Him, oh by the way I have a very sick mother that frequently becomes unwell so might not make the booking but I'll let you know by 1pm if anything happens.
Me, forget it then, call me Thursday if you're around.
 :FF

He was also clearly after a free phone wank, talking all sexy and sleazy, saying he's a very naughty boy, yuk

The sexy/sleazy chat would have been enough for me to put the phone down nevermind him telling you he's a complete timewaster. I'm happy to confirm my service list is accurate but that's as far as it goes.
I agree, I was bored to be honest so entertained me for a nano second and gave him short sharp answers, it was the old "What do you like" and "Oh I'm so naughty aren't I"

I won't hold my breath on Thursday x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Princess-sarah on 07 December 2015, 11:38:50 pm
Client leaves a voicemail requesting a booking using my real name lol I deleted it ..... I was changing location anyway so wouldn't have had the chance to see him.... Most likely a guy I used to go to school with lol lol  a bit awkward ....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 08 December 2015, 05:03:05 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 08 December 2015, 11:44:35 pm
Me:Hello
Him:Hi I saw your profile on Adultwork.
Me:Oh yes How can I help?
Him:I'd really like to spread your pussy and put my finger in.
Me:(not missing a beat)Really?Is that because your finger is bigger than your cock?
Him:Er er.
Me:Bye bye now thanks for your call.Click.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gizzi on 08 December 2015, 11:47:54 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 08 December 2015, 11:44:35 pm
Me:Hello
Him:Hi I saw your profile on Adultwork.
Me:Oh yes How can I help?
Him:I'd really like to spread your pussy and put my finger in.
Me:(not missing a beat)Really?Is that because your finger is bigger than your cock?
Him:Er er.
Me:Bye bye now thanks for your call.Click.


Best response I've heard Bibi! I will have to remember that one.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 09 December 2015, 10:59:56 am
"Hi.
I used to see a girl weekly and she's retired from escorting now but I'm looking for a weekly booking sometimes about three nights a week but I've met some unpleasant girls on here.is there any chance of a ten minute meet to see if I like you? No sex or anything, just a quick chat? I'm a descent guy, 27 years old, chilled out and just looking to get a new friend(paid of course)?x"

 ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 09 December 2015, 11:34:50 am
My friend just sent me a screen shot of a text she just received.......

Hi I'm Peter could you sell me to a Chinese takeaway and keep the money you get for me please?

WTF? Lol just when you think you've heard it all.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 09 December 2015, 12:06:57 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 09 December 2015, 11:34:50 am
My friend just sent me a screen shot of a text she just received.......

Hi I'm Peter could you sell me to a Chinese takeaway and keep the money you get for me please?

WTF? Lol just when you think you've heard it all.

Sounds like he read too many of those male websites that tell men that cocky weird humour is the way to get women to talk to them. They usually get sold a bunch of books and DVD's with some guy on it with good looks and a huge man chest talking nonsense about how to pick up women with "proven" techniques
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 09 December 2015, 12:34:05 pm
Test received:

"hi hun how did it go with the dog did it mount"

I really hope this was a wrong number! Though it does mean they would have got my auto reply with my website address :/
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 09 December 2015, 02:45:05 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 09 December 2015, 10:59:56 am
"Hi.
I used to see a girl weekly and she's retired from escorting now but I'm looking for a weekly booking sometimes about three nights a week but I've met some unpleasant girls on here.is there any chance of a ten minute meet to see if I like you? No sex or anything, just a quick chat? I'm a descent guy, 27 years old, chilled out and just looking to get a new friend(paid of course)?x"

 ::) ::)
The old "I need a new regular" don't know how many times I've heard that, x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 09 December 2015, 03:00:02 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 09 December 2015, 03:36:59 pm
Via text:Hi Booobiiee
Clearly a 12 year old who has just learnt a new naughty word teehee! ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 09 December 2015, 09:07:02 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 08 December 2015, 11:44:35 pm
Me:Hello
Him:Hi I saw your profile on Adultwork.
Me:Oh yes How can I help?
Him:I'd really like to spread your pussy and put my finger in.
Me:(not missing a beat)Really?Is that because your finger is bigger than your cock?
Him:Er er.
Me:Bye bye now thanks for your call.Click.

That one brilliant reply  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 10 December 2015, 04:15:02 pm
text just come through

Fucknugget:  Yo, face?

Me:                 Yes, I have one, thank you

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LAC-xox on 10 December 2015, 04:19:48 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 10 December 2015, 04:15:02 pm
text just come through

Fucknugget:  Yo, face?

Me:                 Yes, I have one, thank you

 :FF


I've been getting "yo" a lot recently! Is there a sudden epidemic of wannabe clients that model
Themselves on the film "Kidulthood"   ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 10 December 2015, 07:14:29 pm
Hi I'm xxxx I've seen your advert. You look stunning I wish I was food on your dinner plate.... ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 10 December 2015, 08:14:11 pm
Quote from: LAC-xox on 10 December 2015, 04:19:48 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 10 December 2015, 04:15:02 pm
text just come through

Fucknugget:  Yo, face?

Me:                 Yes, I have one, thank you

 :FF


I've been getting "yo" a lot recently! Is there a sudden epidemic of wannabe clients that model
Themselves on the film "Kidulthood"   ::)

I get 'hey' a lot. I hate 'hey'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 10 December 2015, 08:53:08 pm
Text:  how much for 15 mins?

 :o 15 mins???!!! How does that work? Would you have to miss out the hellos and run up to the bedroom taking clothes off as you go?????!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 10 December 2015, 11:09:39 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 10 December 2015, 08:53:08 pm
Text:  how much for 15 mins?

 :o 15 mins???!!! How does that work? Would you have to miss out the hellos and run up to the bedroom taking clothes off as you go?????!  ::)

That's pretty much what 15 min meetings entail - blow'n'go. Seems to work well for some people, personally not a fan. Not worth the time it takes me to get ready.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 10 December 2015, 11:15:03 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 10 December 2015, 08:14:11 pm
I get 'hey' a lot. I hate 'hey'.

Me too - it seems to be on the increase. How thick do you have to be that you misspell 'hi'?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 10 December 2015, 11:35:16 pm
i am guilty of using hey as an opener sometimes.  yo i thought was down to breaking bad, but who knows
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 11 December 2015, 12:18:44 am
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 10 December 2015, 11:35:16 pm
i am guilty of using hey as an opener sometimes.  yo i thought was down to breaking bad, but who knows

I use it all the time so I must be a pure gimp  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlaqHarlot on 11 December 2015, 01:27:13 am
Just got this text "Evening hunni can I book u now for the hour? Do u do cream pie? Will u come to me in cov for 2 im gagging for it wife and kids out Away for few days so got place to myself to fuck some hot whores call me when ur on way"

Baring in mind I'm in Wolverhampton... He wants to me to travel to Coventry for a booking at 2am wants bareback and called me a hot whore... So charming how could I refuse! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 11 December 2015, 11:41:00 am
Email message. This is it in its entirety...

"is there parking place for a car and do you have safe condoms"

Um no, I use the really unsafe ones.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 12 December 2015, 02:51:36 pm
Email labeled 30 minute booking

Him: do you have any availability today for a sister/brother role play

Me: no, sorry I don't do that

Him: what about mum/son?

Me: block
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 12 December 2015, 02:54:53 pm
Had this come through the other day. Went to delete it straight away but was bored it so tried to read it for a laugh. Got bored half way through and skim read the last bit.



Hi to you...
Suffering Humiliation at the hands of a beautiful girl/girls is what I seek. I am a big sissy girl..My name is pansy...

When you enter the hotel room , I will be in my sissy latex dress and latex tights and I will have my anal vibrator in too..and one of those rubber hoods that only show my eyes and mouth..
" Ha ha ha , you big fucking fairy " - " Oh , you do look pretty , you pansy " etc etc.. Cruel taunts a plenty

Everything you will need will be on the table ready..Firstly , my ball gag goes in and then I am ordered to lay on the bed where you sit astride my neck and smother me with your hot wet pussy

" Mmmmm , can you smell my scent , you big fucking girl " Ha ha ha

" Would you like to fuck me pansy " ? - " Awww , I dont allow big girls like you to " cum " Ha ha ha....

On the bed is a thick rubber bag that looks like a giant condom.I can get into it quite easily and lay down inside it..It has a built in D-Ring at the end of it ,and an eyelet for a gas mask hose to go through.. If I oil it beforehand , then because I am in latex from neck to foot , I slide into it quite easily...
" Lets put you into your gas mask fairy " , and then you zip it down at the back. Then you tie my ankles together...
" Now get into your bag. Hurry up , I haven`t got all night. Pull it up to your armpits..Put your arms out " , and you buckle my rubber ball mitts on my wrists....and then you try to put me into the bag.....But at this point...I dont want to and I resist.....
" Awwww , its alright pansy , you dont have to. Lets get your pretty tights down and I will give you a nice wank eh girlie "...
You then soak the cotton wool with the poppers , put it into the gas mask canister and screw the canister onto my gas mask....and then you switch the vibrator on full...
you will have no trouble getting my arms behind me and using the cable tie to secure my wrists....Once that is done , I am at your mercy................

You remove the canister from the gas mask and push me all the way into the bag. On the floor are some lengths of rope.. You knot the end of the bag which I have just slid down with the rope very tightly and then tie the end of the rope to one end of the bed and the same with the other end...

No matter how much I try , I cannot get off the bed..The only way I will ever get free is when someone unties the bag from the bed and lets me out..Take the gas mask hose and thread it through the eyelet and screw it onto my gas mask , and then you can popper the canister again and attach it to the gas mask hose end sticking out of the bag...

I can breathe quite easily in the bag. I have stayed in it for 16 hours or more and never had any problems...

" Heh heh heh , are you comfortable in there , you big fucking girl "...Thats good...because...

" YOU ARE FUCKING STAYING IN IT " Heh heh heh heh

" THE MAID WILL LET YOU OUT IN THE MORNING " Heh heh heh

" BYE BYE , YOU BIG FUCKING FAIRY " Heh heh heh

And that is it....You leave me like that..The crushing humiliation and embarrassment and shame being found this way is what I crave....

Will you do this ? How much will it be ?

Thank you

pansy
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 12 December 2015, 02:57:58 pm
Quote from: Roxy101 on 12 December 2015, 02:54:53 pm
Had this come through the other day. Went to delete it straight away but was bored it so tried to read it for a laugh. Got bored half way through and skim read the last bit.



Hi to you...
Suffering Humiliation at the hands of a beautiful girl/girls is what I seek. I am a big sissy girl..My name is pansy...

When you enter the hotel room , I will be in my sissy latex dress and latex tights and I will have my anal vibrator in too..and one of those rubber hoods that only show my eyes and mouth..
" Ha ha ha , you big fucking fairy " - " Oh , you do look pretty , you pansy " etc etc.. Cruel taunts a plenty

Everything you will need will be on the table ready..Firstly , my ball gag goes in and then I am ordered to lay on the bed where you sit astride my neck and smother me with your hot wet pussy

" Mmmmm , can you smell my scent , you big fucking girl " Ha ha ha

" Would you like to fuck me pansy " ? - " Awww , I dont allow big girls like you to " cum " Ha ha ha....

On the bed is a thick rubber bag that looks like a giant condom.I can get into it quite easily and lay down inside it..It has a built in D-Ring at the end of it ,and an eyelet for a gas mask hose to go through.. If I oil it beforehand , then because I am in latex from neck to foot , I slide into it quite easily...
" Lets put you into your gas mask fairy " , and then you zip it down at the back. Then you tie my ankles together...
" Now get into your bag. Hurry up , I haven`t got all night. Pull it up to your armpits..Put your arms out " , and you buckle my rubber ball mitts on my wrists....and then you try to put me into the bag.....But at this point...I dont want to and I resist.....
" Awwww , its alright pansy , you dont have to. Lets get your pretty tights down and I will give you a nice wank eh girlie "...
You then soak the cotton wool with the poppers , put it into the gas mask canister and screw the canister onto my gas mask....and then you switch the vibrator on full...
you will have no trouble getting my arms behind me and using the cable tie to secure my wrists....Once that is done , I am at your mercy................

You remove the canister from the gas mask and push me all the way into the bag. On the floor are some lengths of rope.. You knot the end of the bag which I have just slid down with the rope very tightly and then tie the end of the rope to one end of the bed and the same with the other end...

No matter how much I try , I cannot get off the bed..The only way I will ever get free is when someone unties the bag from the bed and lets me out..Take the gas mask hose and thread it through the eyelet and screw it onto my gas mask , and then you can popper the canister again and attach it to the gas mask hose end sticking out of the bag...

I can breathe quite easily in the bag. I have stayed in it for 16 hours or more and never had any problems...

" Heh heh heh , are you comfortable in there , you big fucking girl "...Thats good...because...

" YOU ARE FUCKING STAYING IN IT " Heh heh heh heh

" THE MAID WILL LET YOU OUT IN THE MORNING " Heh heh heh

" BYE BYE , YOU BIG FUCKING FAIRY " Heh heh heh

And that is it....You leave me like that..The crushing humiliation and embarrassment and shame being found this way is what I crave....

Will you do this ? How much will it be ?

Thank you

pansy

...he wrote whilst wanking
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 12 December 2015, 03:11:42 pm
Yup, or has no idea how to structure sentences lol

X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 12 December 2015, 09:54:48 pm
Quote from: Roxy101 on 12 December 2015, 02:54:53 pm
Had this come through the other day. Went to delete it straight away but was bored it so tried to read it for a laugh. Got bored half way through and skim read the last bit.



Hi to you...
Suffering Humiliation at the hands of a beautiful girl/girls is what I seek. I am a big sissy girl..My name is pansy...

When you enter the hotel room , I will be in my sissy latex dress and latex tights and I will have my anal vibrator in too..and one of those rubber hoods that only show my eyes and mouth..
" Ha ha ha , you big fucking fairy " - " Oh , you do look pretty , you pansy " etc etc.. Cruel taunts a plenty

Everything you will need will be on the table ready..Firstly , my ball gag goes in and then I am ordered to lay on the bed where you sit astride my neck and smother me with your hot wet pussy

" Mmmmm , can you smell my scent , you big fucking girl " Ha ha ha

" Would you like to fuck me pansy " ? - " Awww , I dont allow big girls like you to " cum " Ha ha ha....

On the bed is a thick rubber bag that looks like a giant condom.I can get into it quite easily and lay down inside it..It has a built in D-Ring at the end of it ,and an eyelet for a gas mask hose to go through.. If I oil it beforehand , then because I am in latex from neck to foot , I slide into it quite easily...
" Lets put you into your gas mask fairy " , and then you zip it down at the back. Then you tie my ankles together...
" Now get into your bag. Hurry up , I haven`t got all night. Pull it up to your armpits..Put your arms out " , and you buckle my rubber ball mitts on my wrists....and then you try to put me into the bag.....But at this point...I dont want to and I resist.....
" Awwww , its alright pansy , you dont have to. Lets get your pretty tights down and I will give you a nice wank eh girlie "...
You then soak the cotton wool with the poppers , put it into the gas mask canister and screw the canister onto my gas mask....and then you switch the vibrator on full...
you will have no trouble getting my arms behind me and using the cable tie to secure my wrists....Once that is done , I am at your mercy................

You remove the canister from the gas mask and push me all the way into the bag. On the floor are some lengths of rope.. You knot the end of the bag which I have just slid down with the rope very tightly and then tie the end of the rope to one end of the bed and the same with the other end...

No matter how much I try , I cannot get off the bed..The only way I will ever get free is when someone unties the bag from the bed and lets me out..Take the gas mask hose and thread it through the eyelet and screw it onto my gas mask , and then you can popper the canister again and attach it to the gas mask hose end sticking out of the bag...

I can breathe quite easily in the bag. I have stayed in it for 16 hours or more and never had any problems...

" Heh heh heh , are you comfortable in there , you big fucking girl "...Thats good...because...

" YOU ARE FUCKING STAYING IN IT " Heh heh heh heh

" THE MAID WILL LET YOU OUT IN THE MORNING " Heh heh heh

" BYE BYE , YOU BIG FUCKING FAIRY " Heh heh heh

And that is it....You leave me like that..The crushing humiliation and embarrassment and shame being found this way is what I crave....

Will you do this ? How much will it be ?

Thank you

pansy

Sounds like a horror movie.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 12 December 2015, 11:10:54 pm
Guy called to start with and sounded normal enough. He said he had to call back when he knew if he could get away.

Then the bombardment of texts came:

Him: you sound hot, I need to sneak away to get to you xx

Him: can you do me for ?xx instead?

Him: ?

Him: ??

Him: are you there ?

Him: I'm so horny I need to see you

Him: ??
 
Me: I'm fully booked. Sorry. (I wasn't but wanted him to stop texting)

Him: aw that's a shame I wanted to see you

Him: ??

Him: when are you next available.

The texts stop after a while  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlaqHarlot on 12 December 2015, 11:28:37 pm
I had a booking earlier today and upon finishing the booking I went into the bathroom to change and freshen up to go home and I checked my phone quick and had a text that said this "Hi bb rang you yesterday but no answer wanna meet up today for 15 minute quickie can you call me no so horny over your pics I'm dripping precum" Nice!!

Didn't bother to reply, his poor spelling, and the fact that I don't do 15 mins meant he wasn't for me haha.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 13 December 2015, 05:48:12 pm
Fucktard: Hi, John, hairdresser nearly 50. I think I fit your bill
Me: Really - how so?
Fucktard: Cut and fun - fancy it?
Me: That sounds perversely kinky - explain
Fucktard: I'll cut your hair as a treat
Me: I'm an escort entertaining men, not looking for Edward scissor hands
Fucktard: It'll be fun. you ride me and in return, I cut your hair at the same time but no money exchanged
Me: Are you high fella? sling it (blocked)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 13 December 2015, 07:29:29 pm
Quote from: Lois01827 on 13 December 2015, 05:48:12 pm
Fucktard: Hi, John, hairdresser nearly 50. I think I fit your bill
Me: Really - how so?
Fucktard: Cut and fun - fancy it?
Me: That sounds perversely kinky - explain
Fucktard: I'll cut your hair as a treat
Me: I'm an escort entertaining men, not looking for Edward scissor hands
Fucktard: It'll be fun. you ride me and in return, I cut your hair at the same time but no money exchanged
Me: Are you high fella? sling it (blocked)

Edward Scissorhands!!! Fucking LMAO!!!

And "you ride me and in return, I cut your hair at the same time" - I know (I hope!) that this is just bad grammar, but that there is a whole new kink! Being fucked while having your hair cut! :D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 14 December 2015, 11:32:09 am
A text received at 6am Saturday morning, seen about 11am: Hi Kat, do you do 15 minutes and what services is included? (yawn)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 14 December 2015, 11:34:58 am
Quote from: Shewolf on 12 December 2015, 09:54:48 pm
Quote from: Roxy101 on 12 December 2015, 02:54:53 pm
Had this come through the other day. Went to delete it straight away but was bored it so tried to read it for a laugh. Got bored half way through and skim read the last bit.



Hi to you...
Suffering Humiliation at the hands of a beautiful girl/girls is what I seek. I am a big sissy girl..My name is pansy...

When you enter the hotel room , I will be in my sissy latex dress and latex tights and I will have my anal vibrator in too..and one of those rubber hoods that only show my eyes and mouth..
" Ha ha ha , you big fucking fairy " - " Oh , you do look pretty , you pansy " etc etc.. Cruel taunts a plenty

Everything you will need will be on the table ready..Firstly , my ball gag goes in and then I am ordered to lay on the bed where you sit astride my neck and smother me with your hot wet pussy

" Mmmmm , can you smell my scent , you big fucking girl " Ha ha ha

" Would you like to fuck me pansy " ? - " Awww , I dont allow big girls like you to " cum " Ha ha ha....

On the bed is a thick rubber bag that looks like a giant condom.I can get into it quite easily and lay down inside it..It has a built in D-Ring at the end of it ,and an eyelet for a gas mask hose to go through.. If I oil it beforehand , then because I am in latex from neck to foot , I slide into it quite easily...
" Lets put you into your gas mask fairy " , and then you zip it down at the back. Then you tie my ankles together...
" Now get into your bag. Hurry up , I haven`t got all night. Pull it up to your armpits..Put your arms out " , and you buckle my rubber ball mitts on my wrists....and then you try to put me into the bag.....But at this point...I dont want to and I resist.....
" Awwww , its alright pansy , you dont have to. Lets get your pretty tights down and I will give you a nice wank eh girlie "...
You then soak the cotton wool with the poppers , put it into the gas mask canister and screw the canister onto my gas mask....and then you switch the vibrator on full...
you will have no trouble getting my arms behind me and using the cable tie to secure my wrists....Once that is done , I am at your mercy................

You remove the canister from the gas mask and push me all the way into the bag. On the floor are some lengths of rope.. You knot the end of the bag which I have just slid down with the rope very tightly and then tie the end of the rope to one end of the bed and the same with the other end...

No matter how much I try , I cannot get off the bed..The only way I will ever get free is when someone unties the bag from the bed and lets me out..Take the gas mask hose and thread it through the eyelet and screw it onto my gas mask , and then you can popper the canister again and attach it to the gas mask hose end sticking out of the bag...

I can breathe quite easily in the bag. I have stayed in it for 16 hours or more and never had any problems...

" Heh heh heh , are you comfortable in there , you big fucking girl "...Thats good...because...

" YOU ARE FUCKING STAYING IN IT " Heh heh heh heh

" THE MAID WILL LET YOU OUT IN THE MORNING " Heh heh heh

" BYE BYE , YOU BIG FUCKING FAIRY " Heh heh heh

And that is it....You leave me like that..The crushing humiliation and embarrassment and shame being found this way is what I crave....

Will you do this ? How much will it be ?

Thank you

pansy

Sounds like a horror movie.

I had that one too, even if it was true I didn't fancy a manslaughter charge if he didn't get found...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 14 December 2015, 11:55:50 am
Just had this email on AW

Lois

Hate to ask this but would love to make love to you whilst slipping my lubed finger into your naughty little bumhole

David xx

There's no question there, unless I'm being thick (which I'm not) - annoying messages like this are from pricks just wanting wank fodder. I certainly won't be replying  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 14 December 2015, 12:02:17 pm
Quote from: Roxy101 on 12 December 2015, 02:54:53 pm
Had this come through the other day. Went to delete it straight away but was bored it so tried to read it for a laugh. Got bored half way through and skim read the last bit.



Hi to you...
Suffering Humiliation at the hands of a beautiful girl/girls is what I seek. I am a big sissy girl..My name is pansy...

When you enter the hotel room , I will be in my sissy latex dress and latex tights and I will have my anal vibrator in too..and one of those rubber hoods that only show my eyes and mouth..
" Ha ha ha , you big fucking fairy " - " Oh , you do look pretty , you pansy " etc etc.. Cruel taunts a plenty

Everything you will need will be on the table ready..Firstly , my ball gag goes in and then I am ordered to lay on the bed where you sit astride my neck and smother me with your hot wet pussy

" Mmmmm , can you smell my scent , you big fucking girl " Ha ha ha

" Would you like to fuck me pansy " ? - " Awww , I dont allow big girls like you to " cum " Ha ha ha....

On the bed is a thick rubber bag that looks like a giant condom.I can get into it quite easily and lay down inside it..It has a built in D-Ring at the end of it ,and an eyelet for a gas mask hose to go through.. If I oil it beforehand , then because I am in latex from neck to foot , I slide into it quite easily...
" Lets put you into your gas mask fairy " , and then you zip it down at the back. Then you tie my ankles together...
" Now get into your bag. Hurry up , I haven`t got all night. Pull it up to your armpits..Put your arms out " , and you buckle my rubber ball mitts on my wrists....and then you try to put me into the bag.....But at this point...I dont want to and I resist.....
" Awwww , its alright pansy , you dont have to. Lets get your pretty tights down and I will give you a nice wank eh girlie "...
You then soak the cotton wool with the poppers , put it into the gas mask canister and screw the canister onto my gas mask....and then you switch the vibrator on full...
you will have no trouble getting my arms behind me and using the cable tie to secure my wrists....Once that is done , I am at your mercy................

You remove the canister from the gas mask and push me all the way into the bag. On the floor are some lengths of rope.. You knot the end of the bag which I have just slid down with the rope very tightly and then tie the end of the rope to one end of the bed and the same with the other end...

No matter how much I try , I cannot get off the bed..The only way I will ever get free is when someone unties the bag from the bed and lets me out..Take the gas mask hose and thread it through the eyelet and screw it onto my gas mask , and then you can popper the canister again and attach it to the gas mask hose end sticking out of the bag...

I can breathe quite easily in the bag. I have stayed in it for 16 hours or more and never had any problems...

" Heh heh heh , are you comfortable in there , you big fucking girl "...Thats good...because...

" YOU ARE FUCKING STAYING IN IT " Heh heh heh heh

" THE MAID WILL LET YOU OUT IN THE MORNING " Heh heh heh

" BYE BYE , YOU BIG FUCKING FAIRY " Heh heh heh

And that is it....You leave me like that..The crushing humiliation and embarrassment and shame being found this way is what I crave....

Will you do this ? How much will it be ?

Thank you

pansy

Oh wowzers - I am crying laughing here; so much so that tea has come out of my nose  ;D ;D ;D Pansy sounds a right kinky bitch ha. I'd guess he's either really small and weighs about 6 stone wringing wet with all his clothes on, or built like a brick shit house covered in hair haaaaaaa
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 14 December 2015, 12:04:27 pm
Pansy sounds like he wants putting down and you to perform euthanasia on him - I can't stop laughing
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 14 December 2015, 12:24:29 pm
I lost it at "heh heh heh" I just wonder what goes through the mind of people who do stuff like this like what is he getting out of writing bad amateur porno over email to escorts.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 14 December 2015, 12:51:46 pm
Just had a text from a mature (68) gent.

Pensioner: I see you do half hours now, are you free?
Me: not until after 3 (I'm busy on here ha)
Pensioner: Oh well I'm hungry now (eh!!!)
Me: Go and get a sandwich from boots BLOCK  :FF 

Additionally, I wanted to say go get some soup to suck on if you've not got your teeth in, because you ain't feasting on this gal - eugh!!!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 14 December 2015, 12:54:08 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 14 December 2015, 12:24:29 pm
I lost it at "heh heh heh" I just wonder what goes through the mind of people who do stuff like this like what is he getting out of writing bad amateur porno over email to escorts.

Must have taken him about three weeks to write that whilst suffocating in latex hidden out in his condom cocoon  ;D :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 14 December 2015, 01:39:51 pm
Quote from: Lois01827 on 14 December 2015, 12:54:08 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 14 December 2015, 12:24:29 pm
I lost it at "heh heh heh" I just wonder what goes through the mind of people who do stuff like this like what is he getting out of writing bad amateur porno over email to escorts.

Must have taken him about three weeks to write that whilst suffocating in latex hidden out in his condom cocoon  ;D :o


I must admit when I read it fully it is funny, even though he's got no common sense he does have a sense of humour. I can imagine doing it to him then walking away laughing at him saying 'You big fucking fairy' lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 14 December 2015, 01:49:52 pm
Quote from: Wailing Banshee on 12 December 2015, 02:57:58 pm
Quote from: Roxy101 on 12 December 2015, 02:54:53 pm
Had this come through the other day. Went to delete it straight away but was bored it so tried to read it for a laugh. Got bored half way through and skim read the last bit.



Hi to you...
Suffering Humiliation at the hands of a beautiful girl/girls is what I seek. I am a big sissy girl..My name is pansy...

When you enter the hotel room , I will be in my sissy latex dress and latex tights and I will have my anal vibrator in too..and one of those rubber hoods that only show my eyes and mouth..
" Ha ha ha , you big fucking fairy " - " Oh , you do look pretty , you pansy " etc etc.. Cruel taunts a plenty

Everything you will need will be on the table ready..Firstly , my ball gag goes in and then I am ordered to lay on the bed where you sit astride my neck and smother me with your hot wet pussy

" Mmmmm , can you smell my scent , you big fucking girl " Ha ha ha

" Would you like to fuck me pansy " ? - " Awww , I dont allow big girls like you to " cum " Ha ha ha....

On the bed is a thick rubber bag that looks like a giant condom.I can get into it quite easily and lay down inside it..It has a built in D-Ring at the end of it ,and an eyelet for a gas mask hose to go through.. If I oil it beforehand , then because I am in latex from neck to foot , I slide into it quite easily...
" Lets put you into your gas mask fairy " , and then you zip it down at the back. Then you tie my ankles together...
" Now get into your bag. Hurry up , I haven`t got all night. Pull it up to your armpits..Put your arms out " , and you buckle my rubber ball mitts on my wrists....and then you try to put me into the bag.....But at this point...I dont want to and I resist.....
" Awwww , its alright pansy , you dont have to. Lets get your pretty tights down and I will give you a nice wank eh girlie "...
You then soak the cotton wool with the poppers , put it into the gas mask canister and screw the canister onto my gas mask....and then you switch the vibrator on full...
you will have no trouble getting my arms behind me and using the cable tie to secure my wrists....Once that is done , I am at your mercy................

You remove the canister from the gas mask and push me all the way into the bag. On the floor are some lengths of rope.. You knot the end of the bag which I have just slid down with the rope very tightly and then tie the end of the rope to one end of the bed and the same with the other end...

No matter how much I try , I cannot get off the bed..The only way I will ever get free is when someone unties the bag from the bed and lets me out..Take the gas mask hose and thread it through the eyelet and screw it onto my gas mask , and then you can popper the canister again and attach it to the gas mask hose end sticking out of the bag...

I can breathe quite easily in the bag. I have stayed in it for 16 hours or more and never had any problems...

" Heh heh heh , are you comfortable in there , you big fucking girl "...Thats good...because...

" YOU ARE FUCKING STAYING IN IT " Heh heh heh heh

" THE MAID WILL LET YOU OUT IN THE MORNING " Heh heh heh

" BYE BYE , YOU BIG FUCKING FAIRY " Heh heh heh

And that is it....You leave me like that..The crushing humiliation and embarrassment and shame being found this way is what I crave....

Will you do this ? How much will it be ?

Thank you

pansy

...he wrote whilst wanking

Damn right, bet he almost ripped his cock off writing that
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 14 December 2015, 07:46:17 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 13 December 2015, 07:29:29 pm
Quote from: Lois01827 on 13 December 2015, 05:48:12 pm
Fucktard: Hi, John, hairdresser nearly 50. I think I fit your bill
Me: Really - how so?
Fucktard: Cut and fun - fancy it?
Me: That sounds perversely kinky - explain
Fucktard: I'll cut your hair as a treat
Me: I'm an escort entertaining men, not looking for Edward scissor hands
Fucktard: It'll be fun. you ride me and in return, I cut your hair at the same time but no money exchanged
Me: Are you high fella? sling it (blocked)

Edward Scissorhands!!! Fucking LMAO!!!

And "you ride me and in return, I cut your hair at the same time" - I know (I hope!) that this is just bad grammar, but that there is a whole new kink! Being fucked while having your hair cut! :D ;D

Haha - I know Cat..... imagine what my barnet would look like in that scenario; I'd probably end up with a comb-over or resemble Jimmy Cranky  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 14 December 2015, 07:52:21 pm
There used to be a bloke in Belfast who claimed to be a hairdresser and would text asking if he could come and cut your hair in a booking. I've no idea if he was genuine but if he was he must have been as thick as a plank if he thought anybody was going to get naked and let a total stranger with not one very sharp blade but TWO come anywhere near them ???.

Quote from: Hadley on 14 December 2015, 01:49:52 pm
bet he almost ripped his cock off writing that
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 14 December 2015, 07:57:24 pm
Quote from: amy on 14 December 2015, 07:52:21 pm
There used to be a bloke in Belfast who claimed to be a hairdresser and would text asking if he could come and cut your hair in a booking. I've no idea if he was genuine but if he was he must have been as thick as a plank if he thought anybody was going to get naked and let a total stranger with not one very sharp blade but TWO come anywhere near them ???.

Quote from: Hadley on 14 December 2015, 01:49:52 pm
bet he almost ripped his cock off writing that
;D

The scary thing is if these twats are real hairdressers, then they possibly have boners all day at work whilst cutting unsuspecting females hair and then going for a lot of fag (wank) breaks  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 14 December 2015, 08:24:46 pm
Had this a few minutes ago from Pest 3 (that's what he's saved as)
Pest 3: Yo
u there??
you want to see me?
I make your pussy wet - licky lick?
Is it because I'm 18  :o

Me: No, it's because you are an absolute twat who annoys the face off me, now sod off and have a wank over the beano - BLOCKED

I hadn't blocked until now as he was just slightly irritating me before, but nothing major; plus him being 18 is news to me - the Jackass  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Littlemisslondon on 14 December 2015, 10:42:55 pm
Quote from: Lois01827 on 14 December 2015, 08:24:46 pm
Had this a few minutes ago from Pest 3 (that's what he's saved as)
Pest 3: Yo
u there??
you want to see me?
I make your pussy wet - licky lick?
????
Is it because I'm 18  :o

Me: No, it's because you are an absolute twat who annoys the face off me, now sod off and have a wank over the beano - BLOCKED

PMSL Literally giggling my head off! xx

I hadn't blocked until now as he was just slightly irritating me before, but nothing major; plus him being 18 is news to me - the Jackass  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 15 December 2015, 12:03:05 am
I do save most of my twat messages that I read to give me a giggle if I'm bored - normal people probably do social media etc, but I re-read my texts and reverse bookings haaaaa  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 15 December 2015, 12:19:17 pm
Guy phones there for a booking for 6.30 this eve. Once I get off the phone after giving him that time, he texts me asking if I want a picture of his dick  ::)

Booking cancelled and his number blocked!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 15 December 2015, 01:19:04 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 15 December 2015, 12:19:17 pm
Guy phones there for a booking for 6.30 this eve. Once I get off the phone after giving him that time, he texts me asking if I want a picture of his dick  ::)

Booking cancelled and his number blocked!

Oh my goodness.... Why do guys do this?  ::)
My most recent experience of a dick pic was after he had left saying 'remember this' and a picture of his ugly penis, pffff. What I wanted to write was 'Of course I remember it as it was skinny and rather bent, you had a harelip and wore a bottle green hoodie and matching baseball cap, although you are 53 FFS!!!! So yes, I remember you'. What I actually said was 'I've seen your cock once today and that was enough; don't sext text me please because I'll just block you' - job done!!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 15 December 2015, 03:17:29 pm
By text, him: I'm after a different service x

Me: What is it you want?

Him: Will you sleep with a black male escort I'm (his name) white male and me just want to watch ? x

Him: Do you wanna do it ? x

Me: No sorry x


For fuck sake I usually have sex with clients not sleep with them lol!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 15 December 2015, 03:34:17 pm
Quote from: katrina on 15 December 2015, 03:17:29 pm

....me just want to watch ?


Why do people write in the same way they speak to their pals  :FF

That's making ME eyes bleed reading that haaaaa  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 15 December 2015, 04:47:59 pm
idiot- Hi are you working tonight?
me- yes until 8.
idiot- can i see you at 7 for an hour?
me- yes please send a booking form and let me know if youre after anything specific.
idiot- where do you revieve watersports?
idiot (2 seconds after) I will do
idiot (another 2 seconds after that) yes or no


errrm. yes or no what? sod off talking to me like that and blocked! Oh he sent another before I got to blocking: wud u like to meet? I hate text talk!

idiot 2: Can I see you for an hour please?
me- yes - sorts out details
him- can i transfer payment to save me finding a cash machine?

sod off!
I'm done for the day!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 15 December 2015, 05:16:35 pm
Had a bit of a giggle not long ago

Ass: Hi are you available? I've not used an escort before can I call you?
Me: Yes, of course

He calls and tells me his wife is ill and they have been married for 30 years. Asks what services I do. I ask if he has read my profile. He states not so I advise I will send him the link to my AW profile, which I do.....

Text from Ass: Are the services in purple accurate
Me: As far as I know yes...is there anything in particular you like
Ass: Well do you do them all?
Me (after checking and taking of face sitting and female ejaculation as well as food sex/sloshing: Services are accurate
Ass: Well you've taken off face sitting and female ejaculation???
Me: Because I don't do it
Ass: Why?
Me: Because I choose not to
Ass: But why?  :FF
Me: Are you bored or something?
Ass: Sorry :(
Ass: You got any pics? You've got great legs
Me: No fella, now get knotted and stop wasting my time BLOCK  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 15 December 2015, 06:19:54 pm
Deffo silly season.
First call was someone wanting a 2:30 but would text to confirm as he didn't want me missing out on other clients..no text surprise.
Second call asking if was busy,asked what time he wanted,5pm but who was i?!?
Third call asking what I offer told him,yes but what do you do in an hour...I stand on my head and whistle dixie!
Fourth call someone asking about food sex and he has read all my blogs,then proceeds to tell me he is an experienced punter who sees girls who only do bj/hj..and its difficult for him to name a day as he is married..wants a booking in January and will call then..ahem.
And via email..asking my age and if I am married...I give up!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 15 December 2015, 06:27:47 pm
They're all getting in the Christmas spirit lately (scrooges) lol!

Him texting asking how much 15 minutes is, I reply my minimum booking is 30 minutes at ?70, he replies 'Bit steep...close to Christmas, I'll see thank you xxx  I reply 'That's what I charge all year round I never put my prices up'. He replies 'Ok thank you would love to see you but can't 'justify' ?70...Gutted xx


Oh well at least he was polite, still not bartering though lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 15 December 2015, 06:49:24 pm
Yep i had someone also ask my rates and then he said he would ring back if he couldn't find anyone cheaper...er don't bother!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 15 December 2015, 06:51:41 pm
It's clearly fucktard Tuesday  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 15 December 2015, 06:55:35 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 15 December 2015, 06:19:54 pm
Deffo silly season.
First call was someone wanting a 2:30 but would text to confirm as he didn't want me missing out on other clients..no text surprise.
Second call asking if was busy,asked what time he wanted,5pm but who was i?!?
Third call asking what I offer told him,yes but what do you do in an hour...I stand on my head and whistle dixie!
Fourth call someone asking about food sex and he has read all my blogs,then proceeds to tell me he is an experienced punter who sees girls who only do bj/hj..and its difficult for him to name a day as he is married..wants a booking in January and will call then..ahem.
And via email..asking my age and if I am married...I give up!


Oh yes when they call to allegedly book and then say 'don't turn down other clients for me, I don't want you missing out' You just know then that they've no intention of coming. I wouldn't book an appointment at the hairdressers for example then say 'Oh if anyone else wants to come at the time I've booked please accept them I don't mind'!!


Oh and the ones who need to tell you their whole life story and personal situation before even meeting, why, just why?!!!


One client I've seen about 4 times 'confessed' to me by text that although he had said he was single he was really married and will I still see him ? wtf!! I replied that if I was to refuse all married clients I would virtually have hardly any customers at all!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss-Olivia on 16 December 2015, 04:27:14 am
What's with Guys saying this!!!!!  - hey I'd like a booking, me - sure when are you looking for?,  Their reply "when are you free" holy shit how hard is it to reply a rough day/time.... It's like banging your head off a brick wall!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sandra29 on 16 December 2015, 09:33:12 am
Or when you ask them "when do you  like to come by ? " i get the answer " sometimes today or maybe tomorow " . They think i will stay and wait for them till they come  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 16 December 2015, 02:43:16 pm
Quote from: Lois01827 on 14 December 2015, 07:57:24 pm
Quote from: amy on 14 December 2015, 07:52:21 pm
There used to be a bloke in Belfast who claimed to be a hairdresser and would text asking if he could come and cut your hair in a booking. I've no idea if he was genuine but if he was he must have been as thick as a plank if he thought anybody was going to get naked and let a total stranger with not one very sharp blade but TWO come anywhere near them ???.

Quote from: Hadley on 14 December 2015, 01:49:52 pm
bet he almost ripped his cock off writing that
;D

The scary thing is if these twats are real hairdressers, then they possibly have boners all day at work whilst cutting unsuspecting females hair and then going for a lot of fag (wank) breaks  :o

There is one in Edinburgh who always has RBs up looking to cut hair 'in a kinky way'.  He never has any bids and the 2 feedbacks he has are from TS's.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 16 December 2015, 03:10:30 pm
yeah i see that one a lot curvygal.  i always wondered what a kinky haricut is?  i come from the days of crimping so always picture that.


today i get an email with the heading TITS!

body of the message was simply gr8 tits bb
 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 16 December 2015, 04:05:59 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 16 December 2015, 02:43:16 pm
Quote from: Lois01827 on 14 December 2015, 07:57:24 pm
Quote from: amy on 14 December 2015, 07:52:21 pm
There used to be a bloke in Belfast who claimed to be a hairdresser and would text asking if he could come and cut your hair in a booking. I've no idea if he was genuine but if he was he must have been as thick as a plank if he thought anybody was going to get naked and let a total stranger with not one very sharp blade but TWO come anywhere near them ???.

Quote from: Hadley on 14 December 2015, 01:49:52 pm
bet he almost ripped his cock off writing that
;D

The scary thing is if these twats are real hairdressers, then they possibly have boners all day at work whilst cutting unsuspecting females hair and then going for a lot of fag (wank) breaks  :o

There is one in Edinburgh who always has RBs up looking to cut hair 'in a kinky way'.  He never has any bids and the 2 feedbacks he has are from TS's.

I wonder if he's on about head hair  ;D How the fuck can hair be cut in a kinky way? I'm imagining Dr Zeusss styley haaaaaaaaaaaaa
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 16 December 2015, 07:50:24 pm
Dude drops a "How much do you take for a BJ?" question. I politely refer him to my pricing, which is strictly time-based. "Yes, I know, I've seen your page."

... Then why bloody ask? >.>
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 16 December 2015, 07:54:17 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 16 December 2015, 02:43:16 pm
Quote from: Lois01827 on 14 December 2015, 07:57:24 pm
Quote from: amy on 14 December 2015, 07:52:21 pm
There used to be a bloke in Belfast who claimed to be a hairdresser and would text asking if he could come and cut your hair in a booking. I've no idea if he was genuine but if he was he must have been as thick as a plank if he thought anybody was going to get naked and let a total stranger with not one very sharp blade but TWO come anywhere near them ???.

Quote from: Hadley on 14 December 2015, 01:49:52 pm
bet he almost ripped his cock off writing that
;D

The scary thing is if these twats are real hairdressers, then they possibly have boners all day at work whilst cutting unsuspecting females hair and then going for a lot of fag (wank) breaks  :o

There is one in Edinburgh who always has RBs up looking to cut hair 'in a kinky way'.  He never has any bids and the 2 feedbacks he has are from TS's.

I've seen this. I'm always so temped to email him and tell him to do a hairdressing course somewhere lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 16 December 2015, 08:34:56 pm
He needs the 'girls world' head - some might not remember this but ladies of my age will  ;D early 40's
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 16 December 2015, 09:23:30 pm
Email from smellypenny - yes, seriously (backpage)
SP: You free tomorrow afternoon Honey  :FF I'm 55, white, slim
Me: I could see you at 4pm tomorrow?
SP: I was hoping afternoon about 12?
Me: Sorry, I'm not free until 4
SP: Can't you see me at 12?
Me: No
SP: Why not?
SP: I'm free
Me: So are the Soup dragons

A degenerate moron clearly - what part of this dialogue is unclear FFS?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 16 December 2015, 09:26:20 pm
What is a soup dragon? hahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 16 December 2015, 09:32:20 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 16 December 2015, 09:26:20 pm
What is a soup dragon? hahaha

They sang the song 'I'm free' in the 90s  ;D x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 16 December 2015, 09:47:30 pm
Quote from: katrina on 15 December 2015, 06:27:47 pm
They're all getting in the Christmas spirit lately (scrooges) lol!

Him texting asking how much 15 minutes is, I reply my minimum booking is 30 minutes at ?70, he replies 'Bit steep...close to Christmas, I'll see thank you xxx  I reply 'That's what I charge all year round I never put my prices up'. He replies 'Ok thank you would love to see you but can't 'justify' ?70...Gutted xx


Oh well at least he was polite, still not bartering though lol.

I find lots of these quickie clients are skin flints, one of the reasons I don't offer quickies. Got one too today by text. Normally ignore & block but I felt like taking the piss out of him..

him: "Hi i've got ?20 what about a 15min quickie?"
me: "lol take a drive around the red light district mate, be more suited to your price range"
him: Mate!!! we'll be affordable your prices please?"
Me: that doesn't make sense but I can tell you I'm clearly too expensive for you"
Him: "you need to drop prices a little if you want business"?
me: Lol no I don't. Just out of interest where did you get my number"
Him: "expensive vivastreet"
me: "red light district it is for you then" block


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 16 December 2015, 10:00:15 pm
Quote from: Emma_C on 16 December 2015, 09:47:30 pm
Quote from: katrina on 15 December 2015, 06:27:47 pm
They're all getting in the Christmas spirit lately (scrooges) lol!

Him texting asking how much 15 minutes is, I reply my minimum booking is 30 minutes at ?70, he replies 'Bit steep...close to Christmas, I'll see thank you xxx  I reply 'That's what I charge all year round I never put my prices up'. He replies 'Ok thank you would love to see you but can't 'justify' ?70...Gutted xx


Oh well at least he was polite, still not bartering though lol.

I find lots of these quickie clients are skin flints, one of the reasons I don't offer quickies. Got one too today by text. Normally ignore & block but I felt like taking the piss out of him..

him: "Hi i've got ?20 what about a 15min quickie?"
me: "lol take a drive around the red light district mate, be more suited to your price range"
him: Mate!!! we'll be affordable your prices please?"
Me: that doesn't make sense but I can tell you I'm clearly too expensive for you"
Him: "you need to drop prices a little if you want business"?
me: Lol no I don't. Just out of interest where did you get my number"
Him: "expensive vivastreet"
me: "red light district it is for you then" block

Boom!!!!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 16 December 2015, 10:01:48 pm
His y-fronts would be round his ankles before he rang the bell  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 17 December 2015, 01:54:15 am
Quote from: Shewolf on 16 December 2015, 09:26:20 pm
What is a soup dragon? hahaha

They were in The CLangers in the early 70s  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 17 December 2015, 02:05:32 pm
adultwork message

postcode n will u suk 4 ?30
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 17 December 2015, 02:33:58 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 17 December 2015, 02:05:32 pm
adultwork message

postcode n will u suk 4 ?30

What a charmer  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rachel89 on 17 December 2015, 05:04:40 pm

I had a Nigerian guy contact me from Nigeria.
Requesting that I come to Lagos and meet Him for some fun  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 17 December 2015, 07:57:29 pm
1. Guy (?): Hi, what are your rates?
    Me: They are on my profile
    Guy (?): I haven't seen that
    Me: How come you have my number?
    Guy: Someone I know found you and gave me your number but they haven't met you

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

What do you think of that?? Someone's wife/girlfriend??

2. Knob: Are your breasts fake or natural as I have a penchant for pert breasts. If natural, I will send you a script I want you to follow.
    Me: Is your cock at least 8 inches long and is it able to retain an erection for hours?
    Knob: Ever so slightly smaller.
    Me: No then.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 17 December 2015, 07:59:07 pm
3. Him: Hi hun, do you do anal without condoms?

These are all from today.

 :-*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nora batty on 17 December 2015, 08:15:49 pm
Had one today which I really hope was a wind up.  Wanted what I thought was role play, as he wanted to do Angry Dragon.  Told him I don't do role play, he told me to google it as its a sex act not role play.

So I did, turns out its when the guy comes in your mouth and as he's doing it he punches you in the head and the spunk will blow out your nose.

Er no chance.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 17 December 2015, 08:18:37 pm
Sorry Nora, but I'm laughing at you thinking that 'angry dragon' was role play!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nora batty on 17 December 2015, 08:20:13 pm
Quote from: KayHerts on 17 December 2015, 08:18:37 pm
Sorry Nora, but I'm laughing at you thinking that 'angry dragon' was role play!

Me too lol, I haven't a clue about some of the terminology these days. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 17 December 2015, 08:22:27 pm
Quote from: Nora batty on 17 December 2015, 08:15:49 pm
Had one today which I really hope was a wind up.  Wanted what I thought was role play, as he wanted to do Angry Dragon.  Told him I don't do role play, he told me to google it as its a sex act not role play.

So I did, turns out its when the guy comes in your mouth and as he's doing it he punches you in the head and the spunk will blow out your nose.

Er no chance.

That is the most disgusting thing I think I have ever heard on here. I think I'd actually get angry with the man who asked me that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 17 December 2015, 10:26:32 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 17 December 2015, 08:22:27 pm
Quote from: Nora batty on 17 December 2015, 08:15:49 pm
Had one today which I really hope was a wind up.  Wanted what I thought was role play, as he wanted to do Angry Dragon.  Told him I don't do role play, he told me to google it as its a sex act not role play.

So I did, turns out its when the guy comes in your mouth and as he's doing it he punches you in the head and the spunk will blow out your nose.

Er no chance.

That is the most disgusting thing I think I have ever heard on here. I think I'd actually get angry with the man who asked me that.

Yeah he basically asked to assault her. At least he asked and didn't just do it, Gotta give some credit when it's due x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 17 December 2015, 11:25:06 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 17 December 2015, 08:22:27 pm
Quote from: Nora batty on 17 December 2015, 08:15:49 pm
Had one today which I really hope was a wind up.  Wanted what I thought was role play, as he wanted to do Angry Dragon.  Told him I don't do role play, he told me to google it as its a sex act not role play.

So I did, turns out its when the guy comes in your mouth and as he's doing it he punches you in the head and the spunk will blow out your nose.

Er no chance.

That is the most disgusting thing I think I have ever heard on here. I think I'd actually get angry with the man who asked me that.

Perhaps that was what he was hoping for. Some twisted guys get their rocks off knowing they've upset us.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 18 December 2015, 06:40:32 pm
I want to fuck you. How much?

You just have to wonder if that approach will ever get taken seriously and a positive reaction ie given a price and then appointment offered?

Not for me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 20 December 2015, 03:13:38 pm
hey chick
fancy being fuked by a yung hung stud


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 20 December 2015, 03:15:36 pm
What, another teenage twat who will either cum in his pants when I get my tits out or not be able to get it up because he is too nervous  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 20 December 2015, 05:18:03 pm
Everyone, no further need to post on this thread, as I have won.

Received today.

"Hi Hadley if I book you can we make a baby inside your tummy?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sourgrapes on 20 December 2015, 05:36:15 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 20 December 2015, 05:18:03 pm
Everyone, no further need to post on this thread, as I have won.

Received today.

"Hi Hadley if I book you can we make a baby inside your tummy?"

Yeah, I had this one. Weird bareback request...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 20 December 2015, 05:37:52 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 20 December 2015, 05:18:03 pm
Everyone, no further need to post on this thread, as I have won.

Received today.

"Hi Hadley if I book you can we make a baby inside your tummy?"

Haaaaaaa - what the fuck? Clearly, just came out of biology class and been told about the birds and bees or Jack the ripper wannabee twit  :o :o :o :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 20 December 2015, 06:30:12 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 20 December 2015, 05:18:03 pm
Everyone, no further need to post on this thread, as I have won.

Received today.

"Hi Hadley if I book you can we make a baby inside your tummy?"

The baby making fantasists are the absolute worst. I never really get the point of it like after they got somebody pregnant what do they have to look forward to but court cases and requests for money for a random kid they created who will one day hate them? Do they assume you'll go "Okay I'm pregnant now I belong to you forever and we'll play happy families me taking care of everything while you go out sleeping around!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 20 December 2015, 07:27:36 pm
Had this guy been emailling for days asking for an outdoor or car meet.  Tonight he messages me, he can FINALLY have an outcall to his, then he drops the bombshell 'Would you do a bj for ?20 and a nice pair of gold and diamond earrings?'

What's the betting the earrings are his girlfriends?  Euch.  I hate these kind of guys.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 20 December 2015, 08:38:25 pm
Can we REALLY not copy and paste an email from AW on here? I have an absolute CORKER of a booking request. It is step by step instructions of how the guy wants the apt to be. I have never read anything like it in my life.

He also says don't let his movement disorder put me off. What that is all about, heaven alone knows.

 ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 20 December 2015, 08:42:57 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 20 December 2015, 08:38:25 pm
Can we REALLY not copy and paste an email from AW on here? I have an absolute CORKER of a booking request. It is step by step instructions of how the guy wants the apt to be. I have never read anything like it in my life.

Of course you can - I'd guess that at least two thirds of the entries here are exactly that - certainly the emails I've posted, anyway?

What's not allowed is live links and it would be bad form to include usernames, but pasting the contents of a dumb email is pretty much how the whole thread works :).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 20 December 2015, 08:55:29 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 20 December 2015, 05:18:03 pm
Everyone, no further need to post on this thread, as I have won.

Received today.

"Hi Hadley if I book you can we make a baby inside your tummy?"

Seeing as I'm really put off by pregnancy fetish and by the notion of pregnancy in general, this made me wince.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 20 December 2015, 09:01:33 pm
Right then. Here goes...you couldn't make it up!!

Think you can handle this one? Have was it takes for me to want you back again? Try not to let my movement disorder put you off, it is very noticeable.

Firstly, can you have a large soft drink prior to setting off; all is explained!

Feel free to ad-lib throughout this role play script in any way. A few ladies have acted this one out, but I've yet to experience it carried out with much conviction. It would help if your demeanour was approachable and pleasantly empathic, but with a bitchy and sadistic dominance about you when practically approaching your client!

Can you be wearing a low cut white blouse, fishnet stockings, suspenders, long tight fitting dark pencil skirt down to just below the knees and wearing your tightest fitting bra that accentuates you're cleavage making your breasts bulge out ready to be begged for - all lingerie in laced black please? If you have one could you also wear one of those black lingerie type collars that fit round your neck please, they are very sexy? If you can have a pair of black leather high heeled thigh length boots separate in a suitcase please?

Immediately on arrival when you walk in I'd like you to ask me if I like French kissing, and on my answer you tell me "you'll love the way I give them". Then, reaching for my balls through my clothes you begin squeezing them as hard as you possibly can completely ignoring any painful yelps! You continue this whilst dragging me by my balls through to my lounge, immediately pulling my head down to an inch of your cleavage whilst teasing me with those bulging breasts. I lean forward to kiss them; you sit me down, then standing inches from me you slowly lift your skirt and calmly pull aside your knickers to remind me of why you are here and your gift that's needed to obtain this by no other communication than to visually rub your thumb across your fingers!

You then disappear upstairs to dress in your black laced lingerie, suspenders and black thigh length boots to come back downstairs to walk past me back and forth swishing your cane whilst swinging your hips knowing how best to tease a man. You lay back on my settee slowly removing your knickers (but keeping all other lingerie and boots on) and whilst feeding your knickers into my mouth you spread your legs wide open to count down just 2 minutes in which I have to bring you to an orgasm in. If I fail to achieve this my forfeit allows you to ball-bust me 30 times. You then push me back into my settee as you'll need to tie my balls up. You then pull on the wire to bring my balls forward and demand that I kiss and lick your thigh length boots whilst intermittently ball-busting me; you demand that I recite each number followed by a "thank you mistress". Use the gift I've awardees you to waft over your breasts ad-libbing to anything you might like to say whilst teasing me.

You then stand up taking your bra off very slowly and start teasing me with your sexy breasts again just inches from my face, whilst continuing to fan your gift across your breasts ad-libing to further the verbal tease. Once removed you point to different areas of your breasts that you'd like me to kiss telling me each kiss will score me 1 point as you count each one up, but when randomly pointing underneath you're breasts, if I lift the breast up with the kiss and let it fall naturally, you tell me I've traumatized it and in consequence will have to give me 3 points; the amount of breast kisses I give will be at your discretion!

Once completed you allocate all those points into the amount of cane strokes I'm sure you will enjoy administering (again insisting I count the number of strokes up saying "thank you mistress". You can alternate between my hands, my back-side and the end of my cock, the choice is entirely yours! One sure way of me tolerating all you're cane strokes would be for you to bare your breasts and tease me up close to entice me into kissing them again once you've finished administering.

You then once again drag me by my wired-up balls upstairs, stopping on every step to demand that I kiss your bum passionately. If you don't consider that I've carried this out passionately enough, you'll insist on administrating another reprimanding... of your choice!

Followed by a good pissing on in my mouth in the bath tub (hence the soft drink doing its work!) you must tell me to "choke on it you dirty bastard" and with conviction if I start to cough and splutter on swallowing it?

You can then tie me to my bed and tease me with those great mounds of flesh; and if you have any other sadistic teasing experiences up your sleeve whilst tied down...! before more vice-grip ball squeezing and a good old fashioned smacking whilst tightly bundled up inside the scrotum.

Then once climbed on top of me you clamp you're thighs around my face firmly sealing you're virgina tightly around my mouth. As you'll now have me totally incapacitated and under control, you confidently pinch my nose to take my breath away for as long as it pleases you lol! - playing with your breasts in this position can be the biggest tease of all. Finally, you might want to think of something pleasing for yourself in allowing me to beg you to finish yourself off, in any which way you feel!

Oh, and have you got any rope for the tying, and not to forget having a soft drink prior to arriving in case you need an untimely visit to my bath tub!! Don't worry if you can't remember all these lines. What's more pleasing for me is the role-playing and acting it out with confidence and conviction; you'd be the first one to do so!

I hope your comfortable with this. I'd appreciate if you could phone me with your reassurance?

*****************************************************************************

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 20 December 2015, 09:23:00 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 20 December 2015, 09:01:33 pm
Right then. Here goes...you couldn't make it up!!

Think you can handle this one? Have was it takes for me to want you back again? Try not to let my movement disorder put you off, it is very noticeable.

Firstly, can you have a large soft drink prior to setting off; all is explained!

Feel free to ad-lib throughout this role play script in any way. A few ladies have acted this one out, but I've yet to experience it carried out with much conviction. It would help if your demeanour was approachable and pleasantly empathic, but with a bitchy and sadistic dominance about you when practically approaching your client!

Can you be wearing a low cut white blouse, fishnet stockings, suspenders, long tight fitting dark pencil skirt down to just below the knees and wearing your tightest fitting bra that accentuates you're cleavage making your breasts bulge out ready to be begged for - all lingerie in laced black please? If you have one could you also wear one of those black lingerie type collars that fit round your neck please, they are very sexy? If you can have a pair of black leather high heeled thigh length boots separate in a suitcase please?

Immediately on arrival when you walk in I'd like you to ask me if I like French kissing, and on my answer you tell me "you'll love the way I give them". Then, reaching for my balls through my clothes you begin squeezing them as hard as you possibly can completely ignoring any painful yelps! You continue this whilst dragging me by my balls through to my lounge, immediately pulling my head down to an inch of your cleavage whilst teasing me with those bulging breasts. I lean forward to kiss them; you sit me down, then standing inches from me you slowly lift your skirt and calmly pull aside your knickers to remind me of why you are here and your gift that's needed to obtain this by no other communication than to visually rub your thumb across your fingers!

You then disappear upstairs to dress in your black laced lingerie, suspenders and black thigh length boots to come back downstairs to walk past me back and forth swishing your cane whilst swinging your hips knowing how best to tease a man. You lay back on my settee slowly removing your knickers (but keeping all other lingerie and boots on) and whilst feeding your knickers into my mouth you spread your legs wide open to count down just 2 minutes in which I have to bring you to an orgasm in. If I fail to achieve this my forfeit allows you to ball-bust me 30 times. You then push me back into my settee as you'll need to tie my balls up. You then pull on the wire to bring my balls forward and demand that I kiss and lick your thigh length boots whilst intermittently ball-busting me; you demand that I recite each number followed by a "thank you mistress". Use the gift I've awardees you to waft over your breasts ad-libbing to anything you might like to say whilst teasing me.

You then stand up taking your bra off very slowly and start teasing me with your sexy breasts again just inches from my face, whilst continuing to fan your gift across your breasts ad-libing to further the verbal tease. Once removed you point to different areas of your breasts that you'd like me to kiss telling me each kiss will score me 1 point as you count each one up, but when randomly pointing underneath you're breasts, if I lift the breast up with the kiss and let it fall naturally, you tell me I've traumatized it and in consequence will have to give me 3 points; the amount of breast kisses I give will be at your discretion!

Once completed you allocate all those points into the amount of cane strokes I'm sure you will enjoy administering (again insisting I count the number of strokes up saying "thank you mistress". You can alternate between my hands, my back-side and the end of my cock, the choice is entirely yours! One sure way of me tolerating all you're cane strokes would be for you to bare your breasts and tease me up close to entice me into kissing them again once you've finished administering.

You then once again drag me by my wired-up balls upstairs, stopping on every step to demand that I kiss your bum passionately. If you don't consider that I've carried this out passionately enough, you'll insist on administrating another reprimanding... of your choice!

Followed by a good pissing on in my mouth in the bath tub (hence the soft drink doing its work!) you must tell me to "choke on it you dirty bastard" and with conviction if I start to cough and splutter on swallowing it?

You can then tie me to my bed and tease me with those great mounds of flesh; and if you have any other sadistic teasing experiences up your sleeve whilst tied down...! before more vice-grip ball squeezing and a good old fashioned smacking whilst tightly bundled up inside the scrotum.

Then once climbed on top of me you clamp you're thighs around my face firmly sealing you're virgina tightly around my mouth. As you'll now have me totally incapacitated and under control, you confidently pinch my nose to take my breath away for as long as it pleases you lol! - playing with your breasts in this position can be the biggest tease of all. Finally, you might want to think of something pleasing for yourself in allowing me to beg you to finish yourself off, in any which way you feel!

Oh, and have you got any rope for the tying, and not to forget having a soft drink prior to arriving in case you need an untimely visit to my bath tub!! Don't worry if you can't remember all these lines. What's more pleasing for me is the role-playing and acting it out with confidence and conviction; you'd be the first one to do so!

I hope your comfortable with this. I'd appreciate if you could phone me with your reassurance?

*****************************************************************************

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

No pressure there then  ;D

He might as well ask you to put arsenic in the fizzy pop to add manslaughter to the potential charges of GBH haaaaaaaa  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 20 December 2015, 09:29:30 pm
 I know what would happen. I'd faff my lines up within a few minutes and start swearing....'oh fucking shite' etc

Then he'd fall out with me and I'd tell him to stick it up his ass and leg it.

Be quick money...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 20 December 2015, 10:12:05 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 20 December 2015, 09:01:33 pm
Right then. Here goes...you couldn't make it up!!

Think you can handle this one? Have was it takes for me to want you back again? Try not to let my movement disorder put you off, it is very noticeable.

Firstly, can you have a large soft drink prior to setting off; all is explained!

Feel free to ad-lib throughout this role play script in any way. A few ladies have acted this one out, but I've yet to experience it carried out with much conviction. It would help if your demeanour was approachable and pleasantly empathic, but with a bitchy and sadistic dominance about you when practically approaching your client!

Can you be wearing a low cut white blouse, fishnet stockings, suspenders, long tight fitting dark pencil skirt down to just below the knees and wearing your tightest fitting bra that accentuates you're cleavage making your breasts bulge out ready to be begged for - all lingerie in laced black please? If you have one could you also wear one of those black lingerie type collars that fit round your neck please, they are very sexy? If you can have a pair of black leather high heeled thigh length boots separate in a suitcase please?

Immediately on arrival when you walk in I'd like you to ask me if I like French kissing, and on my answer you tell me "you'll love the way I give them". Then, reaching for my balls through my clothes you begin squeezing them as hard as you possibly can completely ignoring any painful yelps! You continue this whilst dragging me by my balls through to my lounge, immediately pulling my head down to an inch of your cleavage whilst teasing me with those bulging breasts. I lean forward to kiss them; you sit me down, then standing inches from me you slowly lift your skirt and calmly pull aside your knickers to remind me of why you are here and your gift that's needed to obtain this by no other communication than to visually rub your thumb across your fingers!

You then disappear upstairs to dress in your black laced lingerie, suspenders and black thigh length boots to come back downstairs to walk past me back and forth swishing your cane whilst swinging your hips knowing how best to tease a man. You lay back on my settee slowly removing your knickers (but keeping all other lingerie and boots on) and whilst feeding your knickers into my mouth you spread your legs wide open to count down just 2 minutes in which I have to bring you to an orgasm in. If I fail to achieve this my forfeit allows you to ball-bust me 30 times. You then push me back into my settee as you'll need to tie my balls up. You then pull on the wire to bring my balls forward and demand that I kiss and lick your thigh length boots whilst intermittently ball-busting me; you demand that I recite each number followed by a "thank you mistress". Use the gift I've awardees you to waft over your breasts ad-libbing to anything you might like to say whilst teasing me.

You then stand up taking your bra off very slowly and start teasing me with your sexy breasts again just inches from my face, whilst continuing to fan your gift across your breasts ad-libing to further the verbal tease. Once removed you point to different areas of your breasts that you'd like me to kiss telling me each kiss will score me 1 point as you count each one up, but when randomly pointing underneath you're breasts, if I lift the breast up with the kiss and let it fall naturally, you tell me I've traumatized it and in consequence will have to give me 3 points; the amount of breast kisses I give will be at your discretion!

Once completed you allocate all those points into the amount of cane strokes I'm sure you will enjoy administering (again insisting I count the number of strokes up saying "thank you mistress". You can alternate between my hands, my back-side and the end of my cock, the choice is entirely yours! One sure way of me tolerating all you're cane strokes would be for you to bare your breasts and tease me up close to entice me into kissing them again once you've finished administering.

You then once again drag me by my wired-up balls upstairs, stopping on every step to demand that I kiss your bum passionately. If you don't consider that I've carried this out passionately enough, you'll insist on administrating another reprimanding... of your choice!

Followed by a good pissing on in my mouth in the bath tub (hence the soft drink doing its work!) you must tell me to "choke on it you dirty bastard" and with conviction if I start to cough and splutter on swallowing it?

You can then tie me to my bed and tease me with those great mounds of flesh; and if you have any other sadistic teasing experiences up your sleeve whilst tied down...! before more vice-grip ball squeezing and a good old fashioned smacking whilst tightly bundled up inside the scrotum.

Then once climbed on top of me you clamp you're thighs around my face firmly sealing you're virgina tightly around my mouth. As you'll now have me totally incapacitated and under control, you confidently pinch my nose to take my breath away for as long as it pleases you lol! - playing with your breasts in this position can be the biggest tease of all. Finally, you might want to think of something pleasing for yourself in allowing me to beg you to finish yourself off, in any which way you feel!

Oh, and have you got any rope for the tying, and not to forget having a soft drink prior to arriving in case you need an untimely visit to my bath tub!! Don't worry if you can't remember all these lines. What's more pleasing for me is the role-playing and acting it out with confidence and conviction; you'd be the first one to do so!

I hope your comfortable with this. I'd appreciate if you could phone me with your reassurance?

*****************************************************************************

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

What a load of BALLS  ;D

Seriously if this guys I genuine and not a complete fantasist, how the hell would you remember all that step by step. He would be the type that would throw a tantrum if you didn't get it right even although he said don't worry.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 21 December 2015, 07:17:40 pm
Client not long left from a two hour booking.

When he arrives, we make pleasantries, then he says 'how much is it again'?
?300 I say.
Even though it's Christmas?
Yes, why? are you feeling fesrive and want to give me an ?50 (sarcastic smile)
Oh, he says, I thought I'd get a discount with it being christmas!!

What I wanted to ask him was if he was high, then tell him to get the fuck out. However, easy money, so overlooked his twatness  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 21 December 2015, 07:34:55 pm
Today's text of the day - ''Do you want a baby in your belly?''
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 21 December 2015, 08:18:48 pm
It was a text booking asking about 8.30pm. I sent him my post code. Then he texted me about him being rushed he can't make it. It does make you wonder if these guys have any brains. Never again will I accept a text booking.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 21 December 2015, 08:28:48 pm
Email this morning asking if I was available in the afternoon.  I respond saying I was and what time would he like? 
Just after lunch I get another asking if I was available soon.

I respond right away with a positive response and he replied right away with he should have asked earlier as now he had no time.   Literally less than 3  minutes after his request
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 21 December 2015, 09:00:21 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 21 December 2015, 08:28:48 pm
Email this morning asking if I was available in the afternoon.  I respond saying I was and what time would he like? 
Just after lunch I get another asking if I was available soon.

I respond right away with a positive response and he replied right away with he should have asked earlier as now he had no time.   Literally less than 3  minutes after his request

Probably sent a collective message without any intention of booking, but to massage his ego with him imagining he's desirable by whoever responded; possibly his only interaction he receives from the opposite sex. The lonelier TWs seem to come out ten fold with it being Christmas  :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 21 December 2015, 10:27:31 pm
Aye got an email on AW asking if I do full sex on 15 min quickies.Replied with yes,what a 15 min entails is on my faqs on my profile.Then it dawned on me he had asked me the same thing 3 times this year...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 21 December 2015, 10:50:27 pm

I am interested in overnight and can pay around ?300 as I have to travel from London ,If that's possible please let me know. Also this will be at you place.

Perhaps we could do this overnight when you are least busy ?
---------------------------------------------------------------------

?300??? Why would he ask me to do it when I am 'least busy?' So that I will be desperate for the money??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 21 December 2015, 11:00:38 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 21 December 2015, 10:50:27 pm

I am interested in overnight and can pay around ?300 as I have to travel from London ,If that's possible please let me know. Also this will be at you place.

Perhaps we could do this overnight when you are least busy ?
---------------------------------------------------------------------

?300??? Why would he ask me to do it when I am 'least busy?' So that I will be desperate for the money??

300 for an over nighter and board.... haaaaaaa, it would cost him close to that to stay in a hotel; does he want to bring his ironing as well for you to do and have a fry up in bed?  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 21 December 2015, 11:55:50 pm
Quote from: Lois01827 on 16 December 2015, 08:34:56 pm
He needs the 'girls world' head - some might not remember this but ladies of my age will  ;D early 40's

I remember it  😄 they do a a stupid fake version of it in Asda . I swear the one I had the head was bloody huge with loads of hair the fake version head is tiny and really scrawny   

Fuck whenever im feeling tired or pissed off I come on to this bit to have a good laugh, it never fails

Thanks ladies
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lois01827 on 22 December 2015, 12:58:39 am
Quote from: ParisB on 21 December 2015, 11:55:50 pm
Quote from: Lois01827 on 16 December 2015, 08:34:56 pm
He needs the 'girls world' head - some might not remember this but ladies of my age will  ;D early 40's

I remember it  😄 they do a a stupid fake version of it in Asda . I swear the one I had the head was bloody huge with loads of hair the fake version head is tiny and really scrawny   

Fuck whenever im feeling tired or pissed off I come on to this bit to have a good laugh, it never fails

Thanks ladies

My childhood was ruined by the making chucky doll resemble girls world and making the hair follicles look like play dough barber shop (another old toy favourite) ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 22 December 2015, 01:07:07 am
same txt 2 times today

"on 24hr 2.4.15 brandy and straight 10 whisky 10/10 jj and rico "

wtf ?? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 22 December 2015, 01:25:55 am
Just had an offer I can't refuse.

Arsehole phones me up 1.15am. I cancel his call and text him to say that I don't work 24 hours.

He texts back saying ?250 if you come and fuck me on a golf course  ::)

Blocked!

As if I'm gonna jump out of bed, get ready, go and meet this disrespectful arsehole that assumes all escorts have nothing else on but to service cocks 24/7 to then meet him in a creepy, secluded area when I don't even do outcalls.

I wonder, do these ones ever get a positive response? There's just so many of them that have a serious lack of basic skills when speaking to another human being that someone, somewhere must accept their behaviour otherwise surely they're wouldn't me so many of them like this?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 22 December 2015, 01:40:28 pm
Email just now 'are you free this eve and can I bring some coke'.

So where on my profile does it say I'm a 'party' girl. ....in fact I say I don't tolerate anyone under the influence.

Prior to this an email sent at stupid o'clock asking was I free tomorrow and did I mind if he was married.  .he got my auto reply and responded that he didn't know when he could make it but wanted to know where I am....yeh right.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 22 December 2015, 02:20:51 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 22 December 2015, 01:25:55 am
Just had an offer I can't refuse.

Arsehole phones me up 1.15am. I cancel his call and text him to say that I don't work 24 hours.

He texts back saying ?250 if you come and fuck me on a golf course  ::)

Blocked!

As if I'm gonna jump out of bed, get ready, go and meet this disrespectful arsehole that assumes all escorts have nothing else on but to service cocks 24/7 to then meet him in a creepy, secluded area when I don't even do outcalls.

I wonder, do these ones ever get a positive response? There's just so many of them that have a serious lack of basic skills when speaking to another human being that someone, somewhere must accept their behaviour otherwise surely they're wouldn't me so many of them like this?

I don't think anyone really does it's just at that hour you get a lot of drunk idiots wanking while writing dumb texts. Probably sat there with a half eaten Kebab cock in hand while betting on those late night TV casino things while texting escorts.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 22 December 2015, 06:36:38 pm
I missed a clients call today so I got back to him apologising and said, hopefully another time.

He texts back saying he booked Keira (as if we all know each other. I ain't a clue who the fuck Keira is) and that he hopes to see me another time.

I text back saying sorry, I don't know other girls in the business.

Then he texts me saying he will get Keira to get in touch with me for a 3sum.

Uuuuuuum I don't think so sunshine! I told him not to get anyone to contact me and that I don't even offer that type of service anyway.

He texts back saying he read my profile.  ::)

I just wonder which part of my profile said I do 3sums and with other girls and that I know all the other escorts in the area?

He actually came across as a nice guy besides all of that but it put me right off.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 22 December 2015, 07:13:57 pm
Quote from: Lois01827 on 21 December 2015, 11:00:38 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 21 December 2015, 10:50:27 pm

I am interested in overnight and can pay around ?300 as I have to travel from London ,If that's possible please let me know. Also this will be at you place.

Perhaps we could do this overnight when you are least busy ?
---------------------------------------------------------------------

?300??? Why would he ask me to do it when I am 'least busy?' So that I will be desperate for the money??

300 for an over nighter and board.... haaaaaaa, it would cost him close to that to stay in a hotel; does he want to bring his ironing as well for you to do and have a fry up in bed?  ;D ;D ;D

I've emailed him back and asked him that very question :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 22 December 2015, 07:16:57 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 22 December 2015, 01:25:55 am
Just had an offer I can't refuse.

Arsehole phones me up 1.15am. I cancel his call and text him to say that I don't work 24 hours.

He texts back saying ?250 if you come and fuck me on a golf course  ::)

Blocked!

As if I'm gonna jump out of bed, get ready, go and meet this disrespectful arsehole that assumes all escorts have nothing else on but to service cocks 24/7 to then meet him in a creepy, secluded area when I don't even do outcalls.

I wonder, do these ones ever get a positive response? There's just so many of them that have a serious lack of basic skills when speaking to another human being that someone, somewhere must accept their behaviour otherwise surely they're wouldn't me so many of them like this?

I agree. I think the reality is that, the people these A holes mix with will be A holes themselves so they will think to be arrogant and ignorant is normal behaviour maybe.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 22 December 2015, 07:19:39 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 20 December 2015, 09:01:33 pm
Right then. Here goes...you couldn't make it up!!

Think you can handle this one? Have was it takes for me to want you back again? Try not to let my movement disorder put you off, it is very noticeable.

Firstly, can you have a large soft drink prior to setting off; all is explained!

Feel free to ad-lib throughout this role play script in any way. A few ladies have acted this one out, but I've yet to experience it carried out with much conviction. It would help if your demeanour was approachable and pleasantly empathic, but with a bitchy and sadistic dominance about you when practically approaching your client!

Can you be wearing a low cut white blouse, fishnet stockings, suspenders, long tight fitting dark pencil skirt down to just below the knees and wearing your tightest fitting bra that accentuates you're cleavage making your breasts bulge out ready to be begged for - all lingerie in laced black please? If you have one could you also wear one of those black lingerie type collars that fit round your neck please, they are very sexy? If you can have a pair of black leather high heeled thigh length boots separate in a suitcase please?

Immediately on arrival when you walk in I'd like you to ask me if I like French kissing, and on my answer you tell me "you'll love the way I give them". Then, reaching for my balls through my clothes you begin squeezing them as hard as you possibly can completely ignoring any painful yelps! You continue this whilst dragging me by my balls through to my lounge, immediately pulling my head down to an inch of your cleavage whilst teasing me with those bulging breasts. I lean forward to kiss them; you sit me down, then standing inches from me you slowly lift your skirt and calmly pull aside your knickers to remind me of why you are here and your gift that's needed to obtain this by no other communication than to visually rub your thumb across your fingers!

You then disappear upstairs to dress in your black laced lingerie, suspenders and black thigh length boots to come back downstairs to walk past me back and forth swishing your cane whilst swinging your hips knowing how best to tease a man. You lay back on my settee slowly removing your knickers (but keeping all other lingerie and boots on) and whilst feeding your knickers into my mouth you spread your legs wide open to count down just 2 minutes in which I have to bring you to an orgasm in. If I fail to achieve this my forfeit allows you to ball-bust me 30 times. You then push me back into my settee as you'll need to tie my balls up. You then pull on the wire to bring my balls forward and demand that I kiss and lick your thigh length boots whilst intermittently ball-busting me; you demand that I recite each number followed by a "thank you mistress". Use the gift I've awardees you to waft over your breasts ad-libbing to anything you might like to say whilst teasing me.

You then stand up taking your bra off very slowly and start teasing me with your sexy breasts again just inches from my face, whilst continuing to fan your gift across your breasts ad-libing to further the verbal tease. Once removed you point to different areas of your breasts that you'd like me to kiss telling me each kiss will score me 1 point as you count each one up, but when randomly pointing underneath you're breasts, if I lift the breast up with the kiss and let it fall naturally, you tell me I've traumatized it and in consequence will have to give me 3 points; the amount of breast kisses I give will be at your discretion!

Once completed you allocate all those points into the amount of cane strokes I'm sure you will enjoy administering (again insisting I count the number of strokes up saying "thank you mistress". You can alternate between my hands, my back-side and the end of my cock, the choice is entirely yours! One sure way of me tolerating all you're cane strokes would be for you to bare your breasts and tease me up close to entice me into kissing them again once you've finished administering.

You then once again drag me by my wired-up balls upstairs, stopping on every step to demand that I kiss your bum passionately. If you don't consider that I've carried this out passionately enough, you'll insist on administrating another reprimanding... of your choice!

Followed by a good pissing on in my mouth in the bath tub (hence the soft drink doing its work!) you must tell me to "choke on it you dirty bastard" and with conviction if I start to cough and splutter on swallowing it?

You can then tie me to my bed and tease me with those great mounds of flesh; and if you have any other sadistic teasing experiences up your sleeve whilst tied down...! before more vice-grip ball squeezing and a good old fashioned smacking whilst tightly bundled up inside the scrotum.

Then once climbed on top of me you clamp you're thighs around my face firmly sealing you're virgina tightly around my mouth. As you'll now have me totally incapacitated and under control, you confidently pinch my nose to take my breath away for as long as it pleases you lol! - playing with your breasts in this position can be the biggest tease of all. Finally, you might want to think of something pleasing for yourself in allowing me to beg you to finish yourself off, in any which way you feel!

Oh, and have you got any rope for the tying, and not to forget having a soft drink prior to arriving in case you need an untimely visit to my bath tub!! Don't worry if you can't remember all these lines. What's more pleasing for me is the role-playing and acting it out with confidence and conviction; you'd be the first one to do so!

I hope your comfortable with this. I'd appreciate if you could phone me with your reassurance?

*****************************************************************************


I texted the above person back to ask him if he was joking. He replied 'your profile says you do role play'. Therefore, I have now removed that service from my profile as I would rather starve than go through the above type of ordeal  :D
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 22 December 2015, 09:56:00 pm
dear hun

would you like to visit athens in greece ?

i live and work in athens in greece as an expat engineer and i am a british citizen. i rent a very nice 4 bed furnished and modern apartment here in a nice part of northern athens

i can speak on skype / facetime / whatsapp. i am 32 year old male living alone and desire a sexy companion to explore athens city. i am a very soft spoken and a nice guy

I will cover all expenses flights meals accomodation local travel but will not pay any cash on top. you can see my pic on my profile


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 22 December 2015, 10:29:15 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 22 December 2015, 07:19:39 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 20 December 2015, 09:01:33 pm
Right then. Here goes...you couldn't make it up!!

Think you can handle this one? Have was it takes for me to want you back again? Try not to let my movement disorder put you off, it is very noticeable.

Firstly, can you have a large soft drink prior to setting off; all is explained!

Feel free to ad-lib throughout this role play script in any way. A few ladies have acted this one out, but I've yet to experience it carried out with much conviction. It would help if your demeanour was approachable and pleasantly empathic, but with a bitchy and sadistic dominance about you when practically approaching your client!

Can you be wearing a low cut white blouse, fishnet stockings, suspenders, long tight fitting dark pencil skirt down to just below the knees and wearing your tightest fitting bra that accentuates you're cleavage making your breasts bulge out ready to be begged for - all lingerie in laced black please? If you have one could you also wear one of those black lingerie type collars that fit round your neck please, they are very sexy? If you can have a pair of black leather high heeled thigh length boots separate in a suitcase please?

Immediately on arrival when you walk in I'd like you to ask me if I like French kissing, and on my answer you tell me "you'll love the way I give them". Then, reaching for my balls through my clothes you begin squeezing them as hard as you possibly can completely ignoring any painful yelps! You continue this whilst dragging me by my balls through to my lounge, immediately pulling my head down to an inch of your cleavage whilst teasing me with those bulging breasts. I lean forward to kiss them; you sit me down, then standing inches from me you slowly lift your skirt and calmly pull aside your knickers to remind me of why you are here and your gift that's needed to obtain this by no other communication than to visually rub your thumb across your fingers!

You then disappear upstairs to dress in your black laced lingerie, suspenders and black thigh length boots to come back downstairs to walk past me back and forth swishing your cane whilst swinging your hips knowing how best to tease a man. You lay back on my settee slowly removing your knickers (but keeping all other lingerie and boots on) and whilst feeding your knickers into my mouth you spread your legs wide open to count down just 2 minutes in which I have to bring you to an orgasm in. If I fail to achieve this my forfeit allows you to ball-bust me 30 times. You then push me back into my settee as you'll need to tie my balls up. You then pull on the wire to bring my balls forward and demand that I kiss and lick your thigh length boots whilst intermittently ball-busting me; you demand that I recite each number followed by a "thank you mistress". Use the gift I've awardees you to waft over your breasts ad-libbing to anything you might like to say whilst teasing me.

You then stand up taking your bra off very slowly and start teasing me with your sexy breasts again just inches from my face, whilst continuing to fan your gift across your breasts ad-libing to further the verbal tease. Once removed you point to different areas of your breasts that you'd like me to kiss telling me each kiss will score me 1 point as you count each one up, but when randomly pointing underneath you're breasts, if I lift the breast up with the kiss and let it fall naturally, you tell me I've traumatized it and in consequence will have to give me 3 points; the amount of breast kisses I give will be at your discretion!

Once completed you allocate all those points into the amount of cane strokes I'm sure you will enjoy administering (again insisting I count the number of strokes up saying "thank you mistress". You can alternate between my hands, my back-side and the end of my cock, the choice is entirely yours! One sure way of me tolerating all you're cane strokes would be for you to bare your breasts and tease me up close to entice me into kissing them again once you've finished administering.

You then once again drag me by my wired-up balls upstairs, stopping on every step to demand that I kiss your bum passionately. If you don't consider that I've carried this out passionately enough, you'll insist on administrating another reprimanding... of your choice!

Followed by a good pissing on in my mouth in the bath tub (hence the soft drink doing its work!) you must tell me to "choke on it you dirty bastard" and with conviction if I start to cough and splutter on swallowing it?

You can then tie me to my bed and tease me with those great mounds of flesh; and if you have any other sadistic teasing experiences up your sleeve whilst tied down...! before more vice-grip ball squeezing and a good old fashioned smacking whilst tightly bundled up inside the scrotum.

Then once climbed on top of me you clamp you're thighs around my face firmly sealing you're virgina tightly around my mouth. As you'll now have me totally incapacitated and under control, you confidently pinch my nose to take my breath away for as long as it pleases you lol! - playing with your breasts in this position can be the biggest tease of all. Finally, you might want to think of something pleasing for yourself in allowing me to beg you to finish yourself off, in any which way you feel!

Oh, and have you got any rope for the tying, and not to forget having a soft drink prior to arriving in case you need an untimely visit to my bath tub!! Don't worry if you can't remember all these lines. What's more pleasing for me is the role-playing and acting it out with confidence and conviction; you'd be the first one to do so!

I hope your comfortable with this. I'd appreciate if you could phone me with your reassurance?

*****************************************************************************


I texted the above person back to ask him if he was joking. He replied 'your profile says you do role play'. Therefore, I have now removed that service from my profile as I would rather starve than go through the above type of ordeal  :D
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

That's hilarious Shewolf!! I'm without words, so many things, so wrong on so many levels. Good luck with being "approachable and very pleasant" in manner whilst simultaneously being "sadistic and dominant" by the way.

And the signing off of "Are your comfortable with this" made me piss myself  ;D

H xx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 23 December 2015, 12:09:34 pm
I got an email last night asking for an hour booking as long as I can get CIM and anal in there.

It put me right off my supper. They've come off my profile too now haha. At this rate, I'll be offering nun role play!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 24 December 2015, 01:40:57 am
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 22 December 2015, 09:56:00 pm
dear hun

would you like to visit athens in greece ?

i live and work in athens in greece as an expat engineer and i am a british citizen. i rent a very nice 4 bed furnished and modern apartment here in a nice part of northern athens

i can speak on skype / facetime / whatsapp. i am 32 year old male living alone and desire a sexy companion to explore athens city. i am a very soft spoken and a nice guy

I will cover all expenses flights meals accomodation local travel but will not pay any cash on top. you can see my pic on my profile

I got this one too.  Did you notice the user name is a woman's?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 24 December 2015, 01:12:09 pm
Ho hum shaping up for TW central again.  A couple of texts from a guy thinking he can just drop by after work, with virtually no notice, with no phone call,  culminating in a long text regarding his difficulty in coming but that he's ok with 'an understanding escort'

And one asking for 15 minutes for ?45. Where exactly does it say I'm a conveyor belt? In fact I expressly say my shortest booking is 30 minutes.

Can't be arsed to go into the rest, so maybe I will go for a long walk, or have a long hot soak...or both.

Oh my life is just too thrilling atm!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 24 December 2015, 01:48:31 pm
The client makes a booking passing all checks until he said about me bouncing on top.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 24 December 2015, 02:37:46 pm
I did laugh at this one but still what a cheeky shite


Ho ho whore.  Available later?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 24 December 2015, 02:43:23 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 24 December 2015, 01:12:09 pm
Ho hum shaping up for TW central again.  A couple of texts from a guy thinking he can just drop by after work, with virtually no notice, with no phone call,  culminating in a long text regarding his difficulty in coming but that he's ok with 'an understanding escort'

And one asking for 15 minutes for ?45. Where exactly does it say I'm a conveyor belt? In fact I expressly say my shortest booking is 30 minutes.

Can't be arsed to go into the rest, so maybe I will go for a long walk, or have a long hot soak...or both.

Oh my life is just too thrilling atm!

I always say to these, 'Sure, 15 mins will be fine. The fee for that will be (my half hour rate). When would suit you best?' If they want to pay for half an hour and leave after 15 mins that is fine by me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 24 December 2015, 02:51:46 pm
Yeh I say that too Nova, if its a call, but this was text and I didn't want to encourage any ping-ponging!

But Jesus just got a call. Firstly the guy wanted my street name and when I pointed out I needed a definite booking first he said 'so whereabouts, in Pakkiland or Romania land'. I just said I didn't see racists and hung up.

Jesus unbelievable what some people think is acceptable.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 24 December 2015, 03:04:46 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 24 December 2015, 01:40:57 am
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 22 December 2015, 09:56:00 pm
dear hun

would you like to visit athens in greece ?

i live and work in athens in greece as an expat engineer and i am a british citizen. i rent a very nice 4 bed furnished and modern apartment here in a nice part of northern athens

i can speak on skype / facetime / whatsapp. i am 32 year old male living alone and desire a sexy companion to explore athens city. i am a very soft spoken and a nice guy

I will cover all expenses flights meals accomodation local travel but will not pay any cash on top. you can see my pic on my profile

I got this one too.  Did you notice the user name is a woman's?

I got this one too, but not the final line! Love the idea that there's guys out there who think we're desperate for an expenses paid holiday with a stranger for free?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 24 December 2015, 07:10:25 pm
Dear God 15/20 calls and texts and every single one a TW. You name a time-wasting tactic, I had it today!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 24 December 2015, 07:52:03 pm
Quote from: Nova on 24 December 2015, 02:43:23 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 24 December 2015, 01:12:09 pm
Ho hum shaping up for TW central again.  A couple of texts from a guy thinking he can just drop by after work, with virtually no notice, with no phone call,  culminating in a long text regarding his difficulty in coming but that he's ok with 'an understanding escort'

And one asking for 15 minutes for ?45. Where exactly does it say I'm a conveyor belt? In fact I expressly say my shortest booking is 30 minutes.

Can't be arsed to go into the rest, so maybe I will go for a long walk, or have a long hot soak...or both.

Oh my life is just too thrilling atm!

I always say to these, 'Sure, 15 mins will be fine. The fee for that will be (my half hour rate). When would suit you best?' If they want to pay for half an hour and leave after 15 mins that is fine by me!

I quite clearly don't do half hours but it doesn't stop people asking. I feel like saying to them that they are welcome to come and go after a half hour but my fee will be what's advertised clearly on my profile which is my hourly fee.

When they ask me for a half hour or tell me they only need a half hour, it's like basically ringing me up asking for a 50 or 60% discount.

If they only need a half hour then why the hell are they ringing me when I don't do them and about 90% of the other escorts do.

Such as life, need to try and remind myself better not to get my knickers in such a twist for 2016.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 26 December 2015, 01:02:41 pm
Woke up to three texts from the same person:

?
?
??

Mr Communication!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 26 December 2015, 09:21:23 pm
How do I get to meet and spunk for you?


( >:()
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 26 December 2015, 09:56:39 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 26 December 2015, 09:21:23 pm
How do I get to meet and spunk for you?


( >:()

I bet that text got you all frothed up  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 26 December 2015, 10:12:50 pm
Haha I just replied....'you don't meet me ever speaking to me in that manner. Have some respect'

hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa

knob
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 26 December 2015, 11:24:33 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 26 December 2015, 10:12:50 pm
Haha I just replied....'you don't meet me ever speaking to me in that manner. Have some respect'

hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa

knob

But that type don't think there's anything wrong with how they speak to us

I once had a guy (about 3 months ago) ask me if he could fuck me in all my holes......bareback! His words!

I was furious and went off on one. He was shocked at how offended I was and actually told me that prostitutes can't get offended. Fucking arsehole!

This was before it finally sunk in that you can't argue with ignorance or people's severe personality defects because they genuinely don't believe they are in the wrong. They would much rather believe that we are nobody's since we are prostitutes with no feelings and nutters with mental health issues for getting offended and reacting.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 27 December 2015, 08:42:35 am
I had a guy text last night who said my rate was too high and as I was the girl he wanted to book so he could go to ?50 below my hour rate for me. He asked if I knew another girl would do all the services he asked for at that rate so I directed him to Adultwork's search. He came back with:

"Would you turn down a paid service? Surely a paid service at less is better than none?"

Why do these people think we're that desperate that we'd see someone who has already haggled rates, who knows what other boundaries he'd try to push in person.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 27 December 2015, 09:12:30 am
I'm the same Just an Escort, unfortunately there are girls who do lower their rates when asked so then that makes guys with the Cheapskate or Haggler gene more likely to try again..and again. We are all desperate don't you know. The other reason being they can't comprehend a mere escort saying no, no matter how ridiculous the price/request.

Whenever I'm in certain areas and at holiday times my stupid o'clock texts increase, here's just one:

What bout hotel tomoz? Bj for ages then bum fuck,cum in mouth, sent around 2.30am. What a gent!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 27 December 2015, 10:30:36 am
Quote from: Just An Escort on 27 December 2015, 08:42:35 am
I had a guy text last night who said my rate was too high and as I was the girl he wanted to book so he could go to ?50 below my hour rate for me. He asked if I knew another girl would do all the services he asked for at that rate so I directed him to Adultwork's search. He came back with:

"Would you turn down a paid service? Surely a paid service at less is better than none?"

Why do these people think we're that desperate that we'd see someone who has already haggled rates, who knows what other boundaries he'd try to push in person.

I agree with you 100% but plenty of ladies do accept haggling as plenty out there do think that some money is better than no money.

And plenty are desperate whether that's to pay the rent on time or something else.

Not for me, I think key is to always have money behind you so your never in a desperate situation.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 27 December 2015, 01:37:50 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 27 December 2015, 08:42:35 am
Why do these people think we're that desperate that we'd see someone who has already haggled rates, who knows what other boundaries he'd try to push in person.

Yes didn't this bit before squinting at my phone - precisely why my instinct kicks in with these behaviours.

Indeed these are tough times, lots of competition out there, but I suppose what I meant by desperate was more that these guys think we will take any kind of boundary pushing behaviour for cash just for the sake of more....well cash, whether we need it or not. Possibly the same guys who think we are all raking it in.

But even in my personal life I've never been able to stand a skinflint. Its the most unattractive trait ever! And again I don't mean those who are genuinely broke but those with the means who will do anything to get out of paying for a pub round etc.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 28 December 2015, 01:38:19 pm
Just had a client there phone for a booking so I give him a time to which he agrees then he said is it ok to send you a text later to cancel if I change my mind?  ::)

I said.....

Eh no, it's not because it doesn't work like that. If you make a booking then it means I turn others away and loose money. You can't expect any escort to take you seriously when you basically tell her your going to waste her time.

He said ok.

At least he was upfront and honest about being a timewaster.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 28 December 2015, 11:20:26 pm
I laughed for a long time when I read this one as it just caught me by surprise!

"Hi I'm Peter I know this sounds silly but could you put me in a bin please"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Disciplinarian on 29 December 2015, 10:57:32 am
Had this text waiting for me this morning...

"hey babes, gotcha numba from one of ya otha clients. wud ya cane me with 1000 strokes as hard as ya can???? I really wanna feel wat its liek."


Hmmmm.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Littlemisslondon on 29 December 2015, 12:44:52 pm
Client: Hiya would you do an hour booking to *** ?
Me: Yes, that no problem...
10 mins sorting out details etc...

Me: So I'll go ahead and book you in?
Client: Yeah babe that would be good, can you send me an email in the morning to remind me to send a booking through, I need to be up for work so if you could send it at *** am that would be good.
Me: Trying not to laugh here but no, Im not an alarm service lol, book me or don't book me, you messed the last girl around you tried to book so I'll leave this one in your hands to sort out....

Yeah not a peep out of him, what surprise! I am least organised person in the mornings, I barely cope with making tea without messaging TW punters to get them up for work and to book me!! Made me really chuckle though!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 29 December 2015, 01:42:04 pm
Quote from: Littlemisslondon on 29 December 2015, 12:44:52 pm
Client: Hiya would you do an hour booking to *** ?
Me: Yes, that no problem...
10 mins sorting out details etc...

Me: So I'll go ahead and book you in?
Client: Yeah babe that would be good, can you send me an email in the morning to remind me to send a booking through, I need to be up for work so if you could send it at *** am that would be good.
Me: Trying not to laugh here but no, Im not an alarm service lol, book me or don't book me, you messed the last girl around you tried to book so I'll leave this one in your hands to sort out....

Yeah not a peep out of him, what surprise! I am least organised person in the mornings, I barely cope with making tea without messaging TW punters to get them up for work and to book me!! Made me really chuckle though!

I'm surprised he didn't ask you to go round, make his breakfast and wipe his bum for him too! lol 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sunshine1715 on 29 December 2015, 01:57:53 pm
Ha ha Just An Escort I've got same message
Hi I am Peter could you put me to ur oven please?
Well I said I haven't any oven in hotel
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kazzle on 29 December 2015, 03:54:50 pm
Just before Christmas I had someone book for a sensual massage and then cancel because of family commitments. A couple of days later he send me an email -

"I know this is a bit cheeky and we've never met but all the family will be out on Friday evening and I don't often get time on my own. Would you like to come to my place for a couple of hours of fun or I could come to yours if its easier?"

Admittedly he didn't specify exactly what "fun" involved but I'm pretty sure it didn't involve me receiving a fat wad of money. Obviously thought I like giving my all for free with random men.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 29 December 2015, 06:33:56 pm
To be fair 'fun' is sometimes used as a euphemism for booking.I'd have tested it out and replied with 'Sure I charge x for an outcall so save yourself x amount and come to mine for an incall'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 29 December 2015, 10:47:10 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 29 December 2015, 06:33:56 pm
To be fair 'fun' is sometimes used as a euphemism for booking.I'd have tested it out and replied with 'Sure I charge x for an outcall so save yourself x amount and come to mine for an incall'.

I thought this too tbh. Always play dumb and assume they mean a booking, then act all surprised if that turns out not to be the case.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 29 December 2015, 10:49:13 pm
Don't you just love when you catch someone out....had a call tonight from someone I'd saved as a potential TW since back in July he made an appointment using a different name and never confirmed.

Anyway I didn't let on, I was curious to see what would happen....and since its impossible to sleep in this damn holiday let I accepted a later appointment than I usually would, at shorter notice.

And he cancels 5 minutes later with a totally spurious excuse...so I was delighted to be able to send him a text saying I see that's the second time you've wasted my time, the first was in July and you called yourself ****
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 30 December 2015, 12:40:13 am
Yup, I had the pleasure of this recently:

Him: Are you free now nova? I've got ?300 if you are babe x

Me: You can see my availability on my profile. Let me know when would suit you best. (meaning - I don't take same-day bookings)

Him: It's ***, you not remember me?

Me: Yes I remember you. I saw you about a year ago and since then you have twice messaged me asking for a booking and both times not bothered to get back in touch when I offered you one.

Him: Shit, sorry I've had a lot going on, no excuse I know I'm sorry. Can you do *** on *** date?

Him: Or I can come now if you can do ?300 for the night???

Him: Are you free now?

If not (date) for an hour will be fine

Or I can come now, ?350 for the night?? X


Mmm half my overnight rate and I have to be ready NOW which was 11.45pm btw. So tempting.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 30 December 2015, 01:04:46 am
Late night chancer here:

He rang 8-10 times in 5 mins (my phone blocks calls and sends a text telling them so!) so I text him to stop ringing me repeatedly as I don't answer the phone at 1am:

Okay get us some ... I will buy whatever you want. We are really rich
Seriously we are rich

- told him I don't work this late and I don't meet multiple clients

We are very rich people
(he sent a postcode for a very posh area of Dorset)

- told him again I only see clients one on one and to find someone else

We are fucking rich . You would lose this one
I know a lot of people
Sort it out mate
(I blocked him at this point but just checked the blocked texts log to find the following):
Can you seriously avoid two very rich people
And I've just given you my address -[you mean a fake postcode]

(this didn't seem bad enough to warrant a warning but if anyone in Dorset/Hampshire area wants the number and postcode he gave so you can avoid dealing with this one then let me know!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 30 December 2015, 08:52:32 am
Quote from: Nova on 30 December 2015, 12:40:13 am
Yup, I had the pleasure of this recently:

Him: Are you free now nova? I've got ?300 if you are babe x

Me: You can see my availability on my profile. Let me know when would suit you best. (meaning - I don't take same-day bookings)

Him: It's ***, you not remember me?

Me: Yes I remember you. I saw you about a year ago and since then you have twice messaged me asking for a booking and both times not bothered to get back in touch when I offered you one.

Him: Shit, sorry I've had a lot going on, no excuse I know I'm sorry. Can you do *** on *** date?

Him: Or I can come now if you can do ?300 for the night???

Him: Are you free now?

If not (date) for an hour will be fine

Or I can come now, ?350 for the night?? X


Mmm half my overnight rate and I have to be ready NOW which was 11.45pm btw. So tempting.

In the past, this is the kind of stuff that really used to winde me up and I would bite at them but now I try my hardest to ignore such thoughtless morons x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 30 December 2015, 08:55:55 am
Quote from: Just An Escort on 30 December 2015, 01:04:46 am
Late night chancer here:

He rang 8-10 times in 5 mins (my phone blocks calls and sends a text telling them so!) so I text him to stop ringing me repeatedly as I don't answer the phone at 1am:

Okay get us some ... I will buy whatever you want. We are really rich
Seriously we are rich

- told him I don't work this late and I don't meet multiple clients

We are very rich people
(he sent a postcode for a very posh area of Dorset)

- told him again I only see clients one on one and to find someone else

We are fucking rich . You would lose this one
I know a lot of people
Sort it out mate
(I blocked him at this point but just checked the blocked texts log to find the following):
Can you seriously avoid two very rich people
And I've just given you my address -[you mean a fake postcode]

(this didn't seem bad enough to warrant a warning but if anyone in Dorset/Hampshire area wants the number and postcode he gave so you can avoid dealing with this one then let me know!)

These types think we can't resist money no matter what time it is, what situation it is and no matter how they speak to us. This is another thing that used to really get on my wick.

When someone phones me at ungodly hours, I send them a text saying I don't work 24 hours a day. Most of them will call back at a reasonable hour. Those that don't and become a pest just get blocked now.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 30 December 2015, 09:17:04 am
Well I'm contradicting myself now.

Guy phoned me 3 times at 5am the other morning.

Text him saying I don't work 24 hours a day.

He text back saying FFS gimme peace, telling me to switch my phone off if he's such a disturbance!

Hate it when people tell me what to do, my phone is left on through the nite (though on silent) for a few reasons I won't bore you with.

He has a cheek telling me to give him peace when he's the ignoramus phoning me 3 times at 5am.

Anyway, he text back saying point taken and had a little joke.

I didn't respond but I didn't block him either as I thought maybe he might now know to behave himself since I've chinned him for phoning me at stupid times already.

I try to be a little more forgiving these days but on the second strike of being a complete fanny.....they're out! Unless it's something bad enough to put me off from the offset.

So then this morning I wake up to more missed calls from him through the nite.

I bit/ranted at him then blocked him which contradicts what I said in my last 2 posts.

Seriously though, some of them are such idiots. After I rant at them, I get annoyed with myself cause I know that I can't argue with ignorance.

An ignorant idiot like that is far more likely to think I'm some sort of nutter for getting uptight as he clearly doesn't think he's doing anything wrong.

I've been called a nutter a few times from ignorant idiots. Funny how they throw the word nutter around like you must have a mental illness or be mentally unstable because you don't want to invite such ignorant and disrespectful people into your home to get intimate with you and because you get annoyed at their severe personality defects. Outrageous!

Seriously thank gosh there are so many decent clients out there to keep us all in a job.



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 30 December 2015, 04:11:51 pm
Email:
'Will you do 2 hours outcall for ?100?' (hour round trip also)

errrrm?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 30 December 2015, 05:44:48 pm
I got a request for an outcall (don't do outcalls) the other day for a half hour (don't do half hours either) and had I have taken this man up on his tremendous offer.....it would have been an hour and a half there and back again. So 3 hours at least just on travelling assuming there would be no traffic, giving my full services to him plus the time it takes for me to get ready all for about ?70 or whatever the going rate is for a half hour.

I feel that so many of these guys are so unrealistic and completely thoughtless.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 30 December 2015, 07:20:29 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 27 December 2015, 08:42:35 am
I had a guy text last night who said my rate was too high and as I was the girl he wanted to book so he could go to ?50 below my hour rate for me. He asked if I knew another girl would do all the services he asked for at that rate so I directed him to Adultwork's search. He came back with:

"Would you turn down a paid service? Surely a paid service at less is better than none?"

Why do these people think we're that desperate that we'd see someone who has already haggled rates, who knows what other boundaries he'd try to push in person.

I knew it all along that this is what they think. Less is better than none. Men are seriously just FUCKING DUMB!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 30 December 2015, 07:27:09 pm
Quote from: Jessica201 on 30 December 2015, 07:20:29 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 27 December 2015, 08:42:35 am
I had a guy text last night who said my rate was too high and as I was the girl he wanted to book so he could go to ?50 below my hour rate for me. He asked if I knew another girl would do all the services he asked for at that rate so I directed him to Adultwork's search. He came back with:

"Would you turn down a paid service? Surely a paid service at less is better than none?"

Why do these people think we're that desperate that we'd see someone who has already haggled rates, who knows what other boundaries he'd try to push in person.

I knew it all along that this is what they think. Less is better than none. Men are seriously just FUCKING DUMB!

Not all men, thankfully.

Actually it's not just men that are dumb, plenty of women are too and plenty of escorts are piss takers.

It's just people in general, some of them are ignorant and rude with zero skills on how to speak to another human being appropriately while others live their lives treating others in a way which they expect to be treated themselves.

Such as life!

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 30 December 2015, 07:29:38 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 30 December 2015, 05:44:48 pm
I got a request for an outcall (don't do outcalls) the other day for a half hour (don't do half hours either) and had I have taken this man up on his tremendous offer.....it would have been an hour and a half there and back again. So 3 hours at least just on travelling assuming there would be no traffic, giving my full services to him plus the time it takes for me to get ready all for about ?70 or whatever the going rate is for a half hour.

I feel that so many of these guys are so unrealistic and completely thoughtless.

Yes because they think we are desperate for money and will do anything to get it and we are all raking it in and we don't care if they haggle as we will still accept it as less is better than none. ::) ::) >:( >:( :FF :FF I just Fucking Ignore. IDIOTS. Shame I haven't got overly sweet clients to compensate for the overly stupid. Most of mine are just normal. I don't mind but when you get that really nice client you feel like you can do this job forever. Shame they only come round once in a while for me :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 30 December 2015, 07:32:39 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 30 December 2015, 07:27:09 pm
Quote from: Jessica201 on 30 December 2015, 07:20:29 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 27 December 2015, 08:42:35 am
I had a guy text last night who said my rate was too high and as I was the girl he wanted to book so he could go to ?50 below my hour rate for me. He asked if I knew another girl would do all the services he asked for at that rate so I directed him to Adultwork's search. He came back with:

"Would you turn down a paid service? Surely a paid service at less is better than none?"

Why do these people think we're that desperate that we'd see someone who has already haggled rates, who knows what other boundaries he'd try to push in person.

I knew it all along that this is what they think. Less is better than none. Men are seriously just FUCKING DUMB!

Not all men, thankfully.

Actually it's not just men that are dumb, plenty of women are too and plenty of escorts are piss takers.

It's just people in general, some of them are ignorant and rude with zero skills on how to speak to another human being appropriately while others live their lives treating others in a way which they expect to be treated themselves.

Such as life!

xx

Well I wouldn't know as I only deal with men and so far the majority I have had to deal with  are either completely stupid or have traces of stupid. There is this one girl i know who is dumb though lol. But she just lacks common sense. Atleast she is sweet and humble. I'd rather the men be dumb but humble than dumb arrogant egotistic and self entitled. That makes me angry. >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 30 December 2015, 08:40:02 pm
Quote from: Jessica201 on 30 December 2015, 07:32:39 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 30 December 2015, 07:27:09 pm
Quote from: Jessica201 on 30 December 2015, 07:20:29 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 27 December 2015, 08:42:35 am
I had a guy text last night who said my rate was too high and as I was the girl he wanted to book so he could go to ?50 below my hour rate for me. He asked if I knew another girl would do all the services he asked for at that rate so I directed him to Adultwork's search. He came back with:

"Would you turn down a paid service? Surely a paid service at less is better than none?"

Why do these people think we're that desperate that we'd see someone who has already haggled rates, who knows what other boundaries he'd try to push in person.

I knew it all along that this is what they think. Less is better than none. Men are seriously just FUCKING DUMB!

Not all men, thankfully.

Actually it's not just men that are dumb, plenty of women are too and plenty of escorts are piss takers.

It's just people in general, some of them are ignorant and rude with zero skills on how to speak to another human being appropriately while others live their lives treating others in a way which they expect to be treated themselves.

Such as life!

xx

Well I wouldn't know as I only deal with men and so far the majority I have had to deal with  are either completely stupid or have traces of stupid. There is this one girl i know who is dumb though lol. But she just lacks common sense. Atleast she is sweet and humble. I'd rather the men be dumb but humble than dumb arrogant egotistic and self entitled. That makes me angry. >:(

Yes I can usually overlook dumb but humble providing it doesn't get ridiculous but I can't stand dumb and ignorant x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 30 December 2015, 11:32:22 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 20 December 2015, 09:01:33 pm
Right then. Here goes...you couldn't make it up!!

Think you can handle this one? Have was it takes for me to want you back again? Try not to let my movement disorder put you off, it is very noticeable.

Firstly, can you have a large soft drink prior to setting off; all is explained!

Feel free to ad-lib throughout this role play script in any way. A few ladies have acted this one out, but I've yet to experience it carried out with much conviction. It would help if your demeanour was approachable and pleasantly empathic, but with a bitchy and sadistic dominance about you when practically approaching your client!

Can you be wearing a low cut white blouse, fishnet stockings, suspenders, long tight fitting dark pencil skirt down to just below the knees and wearing your tightest fitting bra that accentuates you're cleavage making your breasts bulge out ready to be begged for - all lingerie in laced black please? If you have one could you also wear one of those black lingerie type collars that fit round your neck please, they are very sexy? If you can have a pair of black leather high heeled thigh length boots separate in a suitcase please?

Immediately on arrival when you walk in I'd like you to ask me if I like French kissing, and on my answer you tell me "you'll love the way I give them". Then, reaching for my balls through my clothes you begin squeezing them as hard as you possibly can completely ignoring any painful yelps! You continue this whilst dragging me by my balls through to my lounge, immediately pulling my head down to an inch of your cleavage whilst teasing me with those bulging breasts. I lean forward to kiss them; you sit me down, then standing inches from me you slowly lift your skirt and calmly pull aside your knickers to remind me of why you are here and your gift that's needed to obtain this by no other communication than to visually rub your thumb across your fingers!

You then disappear upstairs to dress in your black laced lingerie, suspenders and black thigh length boots to come back downstairs to walk past me back and forth swishing your cane whilst swinging your hips knowing how best to tease a man. You lay back on my settee slowly removing your knickers (but keeping all other lingerie and boots on) and whilst feeding your knickers into my mouth you spread your legs wide open to count down just 2 minutes in which I have to bring you to an orgasm in. If I fail to achieve this my forfeit allows you to ball-bust me 30 times. You then push me back into my settee as you'll need to tie my balls up. You then pull on the wire to bring my balls forward and demand that I kiss and lick your thigh length boots whilst intermittently ball-busting me; you demand that I recite each number followed by a "thank you mistress". Use the gift I've awardees you to waft over your breasts ad-libbing to anything you might like to say whilst teasing me.

You then stand up taking your bra off very slowly and start teasing me with your sexy breasts again just inches from my face, whilst continuing to fan your gift across your breasts ad-libing to further the verbal tease. Once removed you point to different areas of your breasts that you'd like me to kiss telling me each kiss will score me 1 point as you count each one up, but when randomly pointing underneath you're breasts, if I lift the breast up with the kiss and let it fall naturally, you tell me I've traumatized it and in consequence will have to give me 3 points; the amount of breast kisses I give will be at your discretion!

Once completed you allocate all those points into the amount of cane strokes I'm sure you will enjoy administering (again insisting I count the number of strokes up saying "thank you mistress". You can alternate between my hands, my back-side and the end of my cock, the choice is entirely yours! One sure way of me tolerating all you're cane strokes would be for you to bare your breasts and tease me up close to entice me into kissing them again once you've finished administering.

You then once again drag me by my wired-up balls upstairs, stopping on every step to demand that I kiss your bum passionately. If you don't consider that I've carried this out passionately enough, you'll insist on administrating another reprimanding... of your choice!

Followed by a good pissing on in my mouth in the bath tub (hence the soft drink doing its work!) you must tell me to "choke on it you dirty bastard" and with conviction if I start to cough and splutter on swallowing it?

You can then tie me to my bed and tease me with those great mounds of flesh; and if you have any other sadistic teasing experiences up your sleeve whilst tied down...! before more vice-grip ball squeezing and a good old fashioned smacking whilst tightly bundled up inside the scrotum.

Then once climbed on top of me you clamp you're thighs around my face firmly sealing you're virgina tightly around my mouth. As you'll now have me totally incapacitated and under control, you confidently pinch my nose to take my breath away for as long as it pleases you lol! - playing with your breasts in this position can be the biggest tease of all. Finally, you might want to think of something pleasing for yourself in allowing me to beg you to finish yourself off, in any which way you feel!

Oh, and have you got any rope for the tying, and not to forget having a soft drink prior to arriving in case you need an untimely visit to my bath tub!! Don't worry if you can't remember all these lines. What's more pleasing for me is the role-playing and acting it out with confidence and conviction; you'd be the first one to do so!

I hope your comfortable with this. I'd appreciate if you could phone me with your reassurance?

*****************************************************************************

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

...he wrote whilst wanking....

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: You only live once on 01 January 2016, 10:40:36 am
Happy New Year everyone .... !!!

First tw*t of the year just sent this .....

Hi,

I liked your profile. I would like to spend two hours with you. I have unique proposal. Instead of money I would like to offer you one watch out of four. You can pick your choice, all are branded. Hope you are fine with this.

I am at Stratford. Would like to meet you asap. Would like to enjoy bit of BDSM (GIVING) ,A level and bit of role play. I have small penis:-)

Hope this works with you.

Cheers

Sure many will receive this lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Disciplinarian on 01 January 2016, 11:05:10 am
That is a peach :D

You should reply along the lines of:

"That's absolutely fine, but instead of sex I would like to offer you one household chore out of four that needs doing, all are necessary. Hope you are fine with this."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 01 January 2016, 01:22:23 pm
He's probably about ten years old. That's why he has a small chipolata x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 01 January 2016, 08:55:54 pm
Quote:'Please forgive me asking and do not think I am being rude or offensive in asking whether you would compassionately reduce you in-call fee for 2 hours as being on a limited pension,my available income is very limited.I would show my appreciation in ensuring our time together is memorable'.

Oh well...that's OK then, as long as it's memorable, who cares about how much he gives me??

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 01 January 2016, 09:14:58 pm
AND THERE'S MORE:

'I am an exceptionally clean gentleman who has never had any form of STD's as I have not been promiscuous during my marriage. I hope we can freely express our passion and enjoy sex naturally'

Not only a reduction but bareback too, nonetheless!

But he puts it all so eloquently!

hahahahahahaha what a bugger  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nora batty on 01 January 2016, 09:50:57 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 01 January 2016, 09:14:58 pm
AND THERE'S MORE:

'I am an exceptionally clean gentleman who has never had any form of STD's as I have not been promiscuous during my marriage. I hope we can freely express our passion and enjoy sex naturally'

Not only a reduction but bareback too, nonetheless!

But he puts it all so eloquently!

hahahahahahaha what a bugger  ;D

It still amazes me that married guys really think they are std free, I bet some of their wives are putting it about as much as they are  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 01 January 2016, 10:02:10 pm
Quote from: Nora batty on 01 January 2016, 09:50:57 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 01 January 2016, 09:14:58 pm
AND THERE'S MORE:

'I am an exceptionally clean gentleman who has never had any form of STD's as I have not been promiscuous during my marriage. I hope we can freely express our passion and enjoy sex naturally'

Not only a reduction but bareback too, nonetheless!

But he puts it all so eloquently!

hahahahahahaha what a bugger  ;D

It still amazes me that married guys really think they are std free, I bet some of their wives are putting it about as much as they are  ;D

Just to wind him up a little, I told him I had not been tested for any STD's (I have), and that does he still want to do it BB? (to test his reaction-yes, I am bored)...he replied that it comes down to trust (with a total stranger ?? hahaha) and that provided he could give me an examination and ask me medical questions, then he would consider it.

hahahaha !!! You couldn't make it up! Do these guys really think we are thick?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 01 January 2016, 10:51:10 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 01 January 2016, 10:02:10 pm

Just to wind him up a little, I told him I had not been tested for any STD's (I have), and that does he still want to do it BB? (to test his reaction-yes, I am bored)...he replied that it comes down to trust (with a total stranger ?? hahaha) and that provided he could give me an examination and ask me medical questions, then he would consider it.

hahahaha !!! You couldn't make it up! Do these guys really think we are thick?

Ask for the medical questions via email and tell him you have unprotected sex with approx 10,000 men - oral, vaginal, anal - you were so pissed and off your face on drugs most of the time you can't really remember. Tell him you only shared needles a few times though.

Obviously don't say any of that but wouldn't it be fun?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Disciplinarian on 01 January 2016, 11:15:31 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 01 January 2016, 10:02:10 pm
Quote from: Nora batty on 01 January 2016, 09:50:57 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 01 January 2016, 09:14:58 pm
AND THERE'S MORE:

'I am an exceptionally clean gentleman who has never had any form of STD's as I have not been promiscuous during my marriage. I hope we can freely express our passion and enjoy sex naturally'

Not only a reduction but bareback too, nonetheless!

But he puts it all so eloquently!

hahahahahahaha what a bugger  ;D

It still amazes me that married guys really think they are std free, I bet some of their wives are putting it about as much as they are  ;D

Just to wind him up a little, I told him I had not been tested for any STD's (I have), and that does he still want to do it BB? (to test his reaction-yes, I am bored)...he replied that it comes down to trust (with a total stranger ?? hahaha) and that provided he could give me an examination and ask me medical questions, then he would consider it.

hahahaha !!! You couldn't make it up! Do these guys really think we are thick?

Well, that settles it...

It's a wind up!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Littlemisslondon on 01 January 2016, 11:20:29 pm
Weird one: Hello, I love your profile, I really have a thing for women that cry, I will pay top money but you must really cry properly, you must tell what will upset you more than anything as I need to make sure you are really upset and tears are genuine. This can be verbal or physical to suit yourself.

Speechless.... Just speechless ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 01 January 2016, 11:30:41 pm
Quote from: Littlemisslondon on 01 January 2016, 11:20:29 pm
Weird one: Hello, I love your profile, I really have a thing for women that cry, I will pay top money but you must really cry properly, you must tell what will upset you more than anything as I need to make sure you are really upset and tears are genuine. This can be verbal or physical to suit yourself.

Speechless.... Just speechless ::)

I think it's called dacryphilia.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Littlemisslondon on 01 January 2016, 11:38:36 pm
Lol it can be called anything under the sun Nova lol, it's still freaky and weird !! Omg he couldn't have picked anything worse, I absolutely hate crying, can't bear the headache and sore eyes etc !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 01 January 2016, 11:48:02 pm
Well we can't help what turns us on. Who are we to judge? Just don't do it if you're not comfortable.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 02 January 2016, 12:00:12 am
Quote from: Littlemisslondon on 01 January 2016, 11:38:36 pm
Lol it can be called anything under the sun Nova lol, it's still freaky and weird !! Omg he couldn't have picked anything worse, I absolutely hate crying, can't bear the headache and sore eyes etc !!



Anyone who gets his sexual kicks from seeing a woman genuinely upset and crying is at best a pathetic weirdo, at worst an extremely nasty fucker.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 02 January 2016, 04:37:26 am
My name is ****** Im 24 and from York. I am just enquiring about weather you are able to help me with something that has been bugging me for sometime now. I am sadly still a virgin yes I know and I wondered if you would be able to help me with my virginity. I have decided that it is the right time for me to lost my virginity and I know you might think that it is a bit sad doing it this way but I have thought about it and I feel it would be right. Plus would you feel ok doing this ??.

I would also like to know if you can do the girlfriend experience and also what is your hourly rate for this type of service and how long would you recomend for the session. The service would be in call and I would travel to leeds, depending if you have a flat or house that you borrow. I would also like to know if you provide condoms if so they would have to be non latex as they are most comfortable for me to use. And also would you wear something really sexy and also do you have any wooden platform heels as I like a woman who wears heels during sex.

I hope that this is ok to enquiry about and I hope you can reply to give me piece of mind. And what you would offer.

From an aw account set up 4 days ago with an alias for an account aet up today. Neithet have feedback, but has sent an impressive amount of emails. Plus the 'virgin' angle. I'm gettting a case of de ja vu... I seem to attract thrse guys fr some reason!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 02 January 2016, 11:53:54 am
Lol sounds like the typical newbie. Write a long winded email with far too much information and have more than one profile as they can't decide if they will or won't go through with it. Travelling to a different place is just another idea to try to hide the fact he's doing it. He's 90% likely to never show up either way.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 02 January 2016, 01:14:31 pm
Quote from: Nova on 01 January 2016, 10:51:10 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 01 January 2016, 10:02:10 pm

Just to wind him up a little, I told him I had not been tested for any STD's (I have), and that does he still want to do it BB? (to test his reaction-yes, I am bored)...he replied that it comes down to trust (with a total stranger ?? hahaha) and that provided he could give me an examination and ask me medical questions, then he would consider it.

hahahaha !!! You couldn't make it up! Do these guys really think we are thick?

Ask for the medical questions via email and tell him you have unprotected sex with approx 10,000 men - oral, vaginal, anal - you were so pissed and off your face on drugs most of the time you can't really remember. Tell him you only shared needles a few times though.

Obviously don't say any of that but wouldn't it be fun?

Brilliant! Medical questionnaire to test if you are STD free. Well, he certainly has some faith in people answering honestly haha I bet even if I said the above, he would still be ok about BB. I bet he would 'take the risk' as I look like such a 'nice, clean person' (have had that before).

KNOBHEAD. He's probably got AIDS himself by now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kazzle on 02 January 2016, 04:50:22 pm
Sent around midnight (when thankfully I'm tucked up in bed) by yet another under 30 year old who's just looked at my pictures and forgotten to read the profile. My pussy cringed when I read it.

"Hi I'm 23 and I've got a ?100 to spend an hour sucking on your pussy in the back of my car!!"







Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 02 January 2016, 06:44:59 pm
Quote from: BJC on 02 January 2016, 04:37:26 am
My name is ****** Im 24 and from York. I am just enquiring about weather you are able to help me with something that has been bugging me for sometime now. I am sadly still a virgin yes I know and I wondered if you would be able to help me with my virginity. I have decided that it is the right time for me to lost my virginity and I know you might think that it is a bit sad doing it this way but I have thought about it and I feel it would be right. Plus would you feel ok doing this ??.

I would also like to know if you can do the girlfriend experience and also what is your hourly rate for this type of service and how long would you recomend for the session. The service would be in call and I would travel to leeds, depending if you have a flat or house that you borrow. I would also like to know if you provide condoms if so they would have to be non latex as they are most comfortable for me to use. And also would you wear something really sexy and also do you have any wooden platform heels as I like a woman who wears heels during sex.

I hope that this is ok to enquiry about and I hope you can reply to give me piece of mind. And what you would offer.

From an aw account set up 4 days ago with an alias for an account aet up today. Neithet have feedback, but has sent an impressive amount of emails. Plus the 'virgin' angle. I'm gettting a case of de ja vu... I seem to attract thrse guys fr some reason!

Virgin but knows what condoms are most comfortable for him? Ok so what has he been shagging to gather this information? A grapefruit heated ever so slightly in the microwave? x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 02 January 2016, 06:53:22 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 02 January 2016, 06:44:59 pm
Virgin but knows what condoms are most comfortable for him? Ok so what has he been shagging to gather this information? A grapefruit heated ever so slightly in the microwave? x
[/quote]

It's not really unusual for young guys to experiment with condoms however latex free condoms shouldn't make any difference to level of comfort it's only something you'd consider if you have an allergy. Can only assume that's what is meant by "comfortable"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 02 January 2016, 06:57:57 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 02 January 2016, 06:44:59 pm
Virgin but knows what condoms are most comfortable for him? Ok so what has he been shagging to gather this information?

A lot of men I know masturbate with condoms on to avoid the mess, by covering mostly the end of the dick.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 02 January 2016, 08:16:40 pm
Just had this, after an initial enquiry and being directed to the availability on my profile:

Hello Nova, thanks for replying. I'm just studying your availability and reconciling my Dance Card. No seriously, I'm on my own but need to make provision for my children so need to plan ahead.

I have a quiet night ahead, a loose end so to speak, and i'm not sure whether to spend it with Paco Pena and stamp and tap my way around Andalusia, or to lose myself in Bohemian Paris with Chopin. Decisions decisions. What would you do?

A Shiraz is bound to feature at some point - no decision required there. What do you do of an evening?

J
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 02 January 2016, 08:22:41 pm
Quote from: Nova on 02 January 2016, 08:16:40 pm
Just had this, after an initial enquiry and being directed to the availability on my profile:

Hello Nova, thanks for replying. I'm just studying your availability and reconciling my Dance Card. No seriously, I'm on my own but need to make provision for my children so need to plan ahead.

I have a quiet night ahead, a loose end so to speak, and i'm not sure whether to spend it with Paco Pena and stamp and tap my way around Andalusia, or to lose myself in Bohemian Paris with Chopin. Decisions decisions. What would you do?

A Shiraz is bound to feature at some point - no decision required there. What do you do of an evening?

J

Good God. I would reply that you try and shag as many men as possible before 10p.m and, whilst waiting for calls/emails, you shave your bits and make sure your nose is bogey free. That'll shut him up.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 02 January 2016, 08:27:05 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 02 January 2016, 08:22:41 pm
Quote from: Nova on 02 January 2016, 08:16:40 pm
Just had this, after an initial enquiry and being directed to the availability on my profile:

Hello Nova, thanks for replying. I'm just studying your availability and reconciling my Dance Card. No seriously, I'm on my own but need to make provision for my children so need to plan ahead.

I have a quiet night ahead, a loose end so to speak, and i'm not sure whether to spend it with Paco Pena and stamp and tap my way around Andalusia, or to lose myself in Bohemian Paris with Chopin. Decisions decisions. What would you do?

A Shiraz is bound to feature at some point - no decision required there. What do you do of an evening?

J

Good God. I would reply that you try and shag as many men as possible before 10p.m and, whilst waiting for calls/emails, you shave your bits and make sure your nose is bogey free. That'll shut him up.

I know right? I just said to let me know when he had a gap on his dance card and ignored the rest. Hopefully that sent the clear message that I'm not interested in sending pointless emails full of personal information for free.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 02 January 2016, 08:30:14 pm
Quote from: Nova on 02 January 2016, 08:27:05 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 02 January 2016, 08:22:41 pm
Quote from: Nova on 02 January 2016, 08:16:40 pm
Just had this, after an initial enquiry and being directed to the availability on my profile:

Hello Nova, thanks for replying. I'm just studying your availability and reconciling my Dance Card. No seriously, I'm on my own but need to make provision for my children so need to plan ahead.

I have a quiet night ahead, a loose end so to speak, and i'm not sure whether to spend it with Paco Pena and stamp and tap my way around Andalusia, or to lose myself in Bohemian Paris with Chopin. Decisions decisions. What would you do?

A Shiraz is bound to feature at some point - no decision required there. What do you do of an evening?

J

Good God. I would reply that you try and shag as many men as possible before 10p.m and, whilst waiting for calls/emails, you shave your bits and make sure your nose is bogey free. That'll shut him up.

I know right? I just said to let me know when he had a gap on his dance card and ignored the rest. Hopefully that sent the clear message that I'm not interested in sending pointless emails full of personal information for free.

Some very strange people out there haha.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 02 January 2016, 08:42:52 pm
Quote from: Nova on 02 January 2016, 08:16:40 pm
Just had this, after an initial enquiry and being directed to the availability on my profile:

Hello Nova, thanks for replying. I'm just studying your availability and reconciling my Dance Card. No seriously, I'm on my own but need to make provision for my children so need to plan ahead.

I have a quiet night ahead, a loose end so to speak, and i'm not sure whether to spend it with Paco Pena and stamp and tap my way around Andalusia, or to lose myself in Bohemian Paris with Chopin. Decisions decisions. What would you do?

A Shiraz is bound to feature at some point - no decision required there. What do you do of an evening?

J

Well he sounds like a bit of a pretentious twat. I hate when they ramble on trying to make themselves sound intelligent and sophisticated it's like just tell me when you are coming over and for how long! It seems to just be idiot day today had one client all day who showed up and two cancellations. Rest were just attempts at email ping pong or wacking off over the phone.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 02 January 2016, 08:47:51 pm
God, I had one earlier in the week trying to dig deep with the intrusive personal questions but at least it was during a booking and I was getting paid to talk complete shite.

If I get an email of more than a couple of lines now I just don't read it - why can't they just ring, book and come along? Stuff like this makes me feel nostalgic for the newspaper ad days :D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 02 January 2016, 08:50:28 pm
Quote from: amy on 02 January 2016, 08:47:51 pm
God, I had one earlier in the week trying to dig deep with the intrusive personal questions but at least it was during a booking and I was getting paid to talk complete shite.

If I get an email of more than a couple of lines now I just don't read it - why can't they just ring, book and come along? Stuff like this makes me feel nostalgic for the newspaper ad days :D.

I know we always say this but, can you imagine if he sent this twaddle to ANY OTHER SERVICE PROFESSIONAL? His hairdresser, his mechanic, his vet??? How is it any different FFS? But they would never dream of doing that!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 02 January 2016, 08:53:52 pm
Quote from: Nova on 02 January 2016, 08:50:28 pm
Quote from: amy on 02 January 2016, 08:47:51 pm
God, I had one earlier in the week trying to dig deep with the intrusive personal questions but at least it was during a booking and I was getting paid to talk complete shite.

If I get an email of more than a couple of lines now I just don't read it - why can't they just ring, book and come along? Stuff like this makes me feel nostalgic for the newspaper ad days :D.

I know we always say this but, can you imagine if he sent this twaddle to ANY OTHER SERVICE PROFESSIONAL? His hairdresser, his mechanic, his vet??? How is it any different FFS? But they would never dream of doing that!

I think we should have a competition to see who can come up with the funniest reply to his email. The reply to most make him faint in shock.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 03 January 2016, 01:45:59 am
Quote from: Nova on 02 January 2016, 08:27:05 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 02 January 2016, 08:22:41 pm
Quote from: Nova on 02 January 2016, 08:16:40 pm
Just had this, after an initial enquiry and being directed to the availability on my profile:

Hello Nova, thanks for replying. I'm just studying your availability and reconciling my Dance Card. No seriously, I'm on my own but need to make provision for my children so need to plan ahead.

I have a quiet night ahead, a loose end so to speak, and i'm not sure whether to spend it with Paco Pena and stamp and tap my way around Andalusia, or to lose myself in Bohemian Paris with Chopin. Decisions decisions. What would you do?

A Shiraz is bound to feature at some point - no decision required there. What do you do of an evening?

J

Good God. I would reply that you try and shag as many men as possible before 10p.m and, whilst waiting for calls/emails, you shave your bits and make sure your nose is bogey free. That'll shut him up.

I know right? I just said to let me know when he had a gap on his dance card and ignored the rest. Hopefully that sent the clear message that I'm not interested in sending pointless emails full of personal information for free.

I thought that was a top reply actually Nova. Good for you.

I have zero patience with the "my first is in raft, but not in canoe" type wankers as well.

H x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 03 January 2016, 02:05:33 am
Quote from: Shewolf on 02 January 2016, 08:53:52 pm
Quote from: Nova on 02 January 2016, 08:50:28 pm
Quote from: amy on 02 January 2016, 08:47:51 pm
God, I had one earlier in the week trying to dig deep with the intrusive personal questions but at least it was during a booking and I was getting paid to talk complete shite.

If I get an email of more than a couple of lines now I just don't read it - why can't they just ring, book and come along? Stuff like this makes me feel nostalgic for the newspaper ad days :D.

I know we always say this but, can you imagine if he sent this twaddle to ANY OTHER SERVICE PROFESSIONAL? His hairdresser, his mechanic, his vet??? How is it any different FFS? But they would never dream of doing that!

I think we should have a competition to see who can come up with the funniest reply to his email. The reply to most make him faint in shock.

Well as I am bored:

My first is in Wood, but not in Tree
My second is in Anchor, and also in Sea.
My third is in Lion, but not in Roar
My fourth is in Kindness, but not any More.
My fifth is in Money, but not in Bank
My sixth is in Customer; but not those who Wank

PS The answer to the riddle is W.A.N.K.E.R. :)

H xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 03 January 2016, 11:12:53 am
First Prize  ;D competition over  ;D

hahaha brilliant!

There you go Nova, send that one.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 03 January 2016, 11:21:54 am
Got email today:

I'd like to ask if you can tie me up with 50 or maybe more pairs of tights??
That's my fantasy;))
How many pairs would you need?I'd like to be tied really tight:)
Would you mind to leave me tied for few hours?
_____________________________________________

Tights alone would cost god knows how much haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 03 January 2016, 11:28:24 am
That one does the rounds.Been on this thread a couple of times.I'm guessing he hasn't found anyone that will do it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 03 January 2016, 11:58:56 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 03 January 2016, 11:28:24 am
That one does the rounds.Been on this thread a couple of times.I'm guessing he hasn't found anyone that will do it.

He's got no feedback so, you're probably right  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 03 January 2016, 12:09:50 pm
If he wants to buy 50 odd pairs of tights and pay me for the time I'll tie him up and leave him there all day.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Disciplinarian on 03 January 2016, 12:15:05 pm
Quote from: Nova on 02 January 2016, 08:50:28 pm
I know we always say this but, can you imagine if he sent this twaddle to ANY OTHER SERVICE PROFESSIONAL? His hairdresser, his mechanic, his vet??? How is it any different FFS? But they would never dream of doing that!

I'm not so sure that's right, sex work is intrinsically embroiled in fantasy, hairdressing, mechanics or veterinary science aren't, so it can't REALLY be the same. Don't get me wrong, I'm not having a go, far from it, I'm playing Devil's advocate.

Maybe a better analogy might be psychotherapist, where clients ARE encouraged to tell their story, in all it's gory details. Not that I'm claiming to be any sort of therapist whatsoever. :)

I totally get the frustrations with pointless, stupid emails but sometimes details are good. Maybe I'm in a minority of one, quite happy to take that tag :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 03 January 2016, 01:32:22 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 03 January 2016, 11:21:54 am
Got email today:

I'd like to ask if you can tie me up with 50 or maybe more pairs of tights??
That's my fantasy;))
How many pairs would you need?I'd like to be tied really tight:)
Would you mind to leave me tied for few hours?
_____________________________________________

Tights alone would cost god knows how much haha

No idea where you are in the country but I'm in Glasgow and Ive had that exact email a number of times. Fantasist and nothing more.

It maybe it's not that he's a fantasist, just that nobody has 50 pairs of tights and if they did, they aren't gonna wreck 50 pair tying this guy up really tight.

He's been sending this email out for years x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 03 January 2016, 01:40:30 pm
There is definitely more than one tights fetishish TW in Glasgow I used to get plagued by one or two guys like that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 03 January 2016, 02:00:28 pm
The tights man has to be a fantasist/TW. I was willing to do this, asked when he'd like to make a booking, and that was the last I heard from him.

Also, I guess he's probably not willing to pay for the "few hours" of being left tied up - because to me, this is an all day booking. Although we didn't get as far as discussing prices as he didn't contact me again after I said "yes that's fine, when and where would you like the booking?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roseanna on 03 January 2016, 02:29:34 pm
Quote from: The_Lynx on 02 January 2016, 06:57:57 pm
A lot of men I know masturbate with condoms on to avoid the mess, by covering mostly the end of the dick.

Really!!!

I've not heard of that before.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 03 January 2016, 02:32:47 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 03 January 2016, 02:05:33 am

Well as I am bored:

My first is in Wood, but not in Tree
My second is in Anchor, and also in Sea.
My third is in Lion, but not in Roar
My fourth is in Kindness, but not any More.
My fifth is in Money, but not in Bank
My sixth is in Customer; but not those who Wank

PS The answer to the riddle is W.A.N.K.E.R. :)

H xx

That is beautiful. If I get any more nonsense, that is what I am sending. Thanks Hadley!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 03 January 2016, 02:59:03 pm
Quote from: roseanna on 03 January 2016, 02:29:34 pm
Quote from: The_Lynx on 02 January 2016, 06:57:57 pm
A lot of men I know masturbate with condoms on to avoid the mess, by covering mostly the end of the dick.

Really!!!

I've not heard of that before.

Yep, it's pretty common. Annoyingly, my BF constantly poaches my work condoms for this very purpose. ~_~
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 03 January 2016, 03:50:21 pm
Quote from: roseanna on 03 January 2016, 02:29:34 pm
Quote from: The_Lynx on 02 January 2016, 06:57:57 pm
A lot of men I know masturbate with condoms on to avoid the mess, by covering mostly the end of the dick.

Really!!!

I've not heard of that before.

Me neither. Socks, YES! :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 03 January 2016, 06:21:52 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 03 January 2016, 11:21:54 am
Got email today:

I'd like to ask if you can tie me up with 50 or maybe more pairs of tights??
That's my fantasy;))
How many pairs would you need?I'd like to be tied really tight:)
Would you mind to leave me tied for few hours?
_____________________________________________

Tights alone would cost god knows how much haha

Is that guy STILL about? I must've had this around the beginning of last year. There can't be that many men sending this message, can there?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 03 January 2016, 07:27:19 pm
Quote from: The_Lynx on 03 January 2016, 02:59:03 pm
Quote from: roseanna on 03 January 2016, 02:29:34 pm
Quote from: The_Lynx on 02 January 2016, 06:57:57 pm
A lot of men I know masturbate with condoms on to avoid the mess, by covering mostly the end of the dick.

Really!!!

I've not heard of that before.

Yep, it's pretty common. Annoyingly, my BF constantly poaches my work condoms for this very purpose. ~_~

Yep, a few exes have described it to me as a 'posh wank' ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 03 January 2016, 07:47:35 pm
Just received an email....

I'm going to rape you.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 03 January 2016, 11:13:48 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 03 January 2016, 07:47:35 pm
Just received an email....

I'm going to rape you.

I wonder what AW's policy is in relation to this type of user/email?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Disciplinarian on 03 January 2016, 11:27:47 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 03 January 2016, 07:47:35 pm
Just received an email....

I'm going to rape you.

That, as far as I'm concerned is an unequivocal, direct and intentional threat of violence and I think the police should be informed.

I'm not usually one for bothering the police with trivial stuff but that is nowt short of criminal intent.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roseanna on 04 January 2016, 12:34:54 am
Quote from: The_Lynx on 03 January 2016, 02:59:03 pm
Yep, it's pretty common. Annoyingly, my BF constantly poaches my work condoms for this very purpose. ~_~

Now that, I would find VERY annoying.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 04 January 2016, 01:45:08 am
Some guy texted to ask if I did fetish sex. I asked him to elaborate. He  Asked if I'd do a meet involving his dog. Searched his number on TrueCaller, dumb idiot has listed his full name, business name and full home address (somewhere in Yeovil)
Told him my idea of a meet isn't bestiality in Yeovil, no reply. Probably shitting himself. What an idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlaqHarlot on 04 January 2016, 03:29:10 am
Quote from: BJC on 04 January 2016, 01:45:08 am
Some guy texted to ask if I did fetish sex. I asked him to elaborate. He  Asked if I'd do a meet involving his dog. Searched his number on TrueCaller, dumb idiot has listed his full name, business name and full home address (somewhere in Yeovil)
Told him my idea of a meet isn't bestiality in Yeovil, no reply. Probably shitting himself. What an idiot.
I know exactly who you're on about! I had a very similar message asking if I have any pets and do I like fetish taboo sex, I do the same as you and search numbers aswell.

Creep!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 04 January 2016, 08:03:35 am
Quote from: BJC on 04 January 2016, 01:45:08 am
Some guy texted to ask if I did fetish sex. I asked him to elaborate. He  Asked if I'd do a meet involving his dog. Searched his number on TrueCaller, dumb idiot has listed his full name, business name and full home address (somewhere in Yeovil)
Told him my idea of a meet isn't bestiality in Yeovil, no reply. Probably shitting himself. What an idiot.

See this sort of thing beyond upsets me, I think I would rather have a threat on myself than anything to do with animals. I'm a huge animal lover and I can't bear the thought of them being taken advantage of or abused  :(

This is just disgusting, his poor dog  :(

I know there are lots of open minded people out there who cater for taboo sex but this is abuse on a living creature. His dog is probably still loyal to him even although he abuses it. I hope it's a big enough dog that eventually bites his cock off.

If I had his full details then I would be reporting this creep to the RSPCA which personally I think you should do. Surely you could leave an anonymous report?




Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 04 January 2016, 09:13:09 am
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 04 January 2016, 08:03:35 am
Quote from: BJC on 04 January 2016, 01:45:08 am
Some guy texted to ask if I did fetish sex. I asked him to elaborate. He  Asked if I'd do a meet involving his dog. Searched his number on TrueCaller, dumb idiot has listed his full name, business name and full home address (somewhere in Yeovil)
Told him my idea of a meet isn't bestiality in Yeovil, no reply. Probably shitting himself. What an idiot.

See this sort of thing beyond upsets me, I think I would rather have a threat on myself than anything to do with animals. I'm a huge animal lover and I can't bear the thought of them being taken advantage of or abused  :(

This is just disgusting, his poor dog  :(

I know there are lots of open minded people out there who cater for taboo sex but this is abuse on a living creature. His dog is probably still loyal to him even although he abuses it. I hope it's a big enough dog that eventually bites his cock off.

If I had his full details then I would be reporting this creep to the RSPCA which personally I think you should do. Surely you could leave an anonymous report?
I think the punter wants her to have sex with his dog not for him have sex with it, if he was having sex with the dog there would'nt be the need to pay for an escort. He is still sick in the head though.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 04 January 2016, 02:44:59 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 04 January 2016, 09:13:09 am
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 04 January 2016, 08:03:35 am
Quote from: BJC on 04 January 2016, 01:45:08 am
Some guy texted to ask if I did fetish sex. I asked him to elaborate. He  Asked if I'd do a meet involving his dog. Searched his number on TrueCaller, dumb idiot has listed his full name, business name and full home address (somewhere in Yeovil)
Told him my idea of a meet isn't bestiality in Yeovil, no reply. Probably shitting himself. What an idiot.

See this sort of thing beyond upsets me, I think I would rather have a threat on myself than anything to do with animals. I'm a huge animal lover and I can't bear the thought of them being taken advantage of or abused  :(

This is just disgusting, his poor dog  :(

I know there are lots of open minded people out there who cater for taboo sex but this is abuse on a living creature. His dog is probably still loyal to him even although he abuses it. I hope it's a big enough dog that eventually bites his cock off.

If I had his full details then I would be reporting this creep to the RSPCA which personally I think you should do. Surely you could leave an anonymous report?
I think the punter wants her to have sex with his dog not for him have sex with it, if he was having sex with the dog there would'nt be the need to pay for an escort. He is still sick in the head though.

It doesn't matter what sex the dog is or who would be having sex with it, it's still abuse and taking advantage. It's just awful.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 04 January 2016, 03:29:22 pm
Yes I wouldn't hesitate (if I had the details) in reporting anyone I knew to be abusing or intending to abuse children, animals or vulnerable adults, if I came across it in my escorting or civvy life.  I hope most of us would. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: storm on 04 January 2016, 04:43:53 pm
Hi,

 I would like to spend two hours with you. I have unique proposal. Instead of money I would like to offer you one watch out of four. You can pick your choice, all are branded.Hope you are fine with this.

Would like to meet you asap. Would like to enjoy bit of BDSM (GIVING) ,A level and bit of role play. I have small penis.

Hope this works with you.

Cheers


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 04 January 2016, 05:35:07 pm
Quote from: storm on 04 January 2016, 04:43:53 pm
Hi,

 I would like to spend two hours with you. I have unique proposal. Instead of money I would like to offer you one watch out of four. You can pick your choice, all are branded.Hope you are fine with this.

Would like to meet you asap. Would like to enjoy bit of BDSM (GIVING) ,A level and bit of role play. I have small penis.

Hope this works with you.

Cheers

Lol I never get tired of when they offer a watch as payment. If they are too broke to pay for an escort I can't imagine they can afford an expensive watch either.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 04 January 2016, 05:49:52 pm
Send an email, then another, then another, then when get no reply accuse your profile of being fake. This time you haven't even read the fucking email because you are busy with your life. Then sends another email then 10 minutes later says forget it. :FF These men are mad. Even my ex client said that himself. and I quote " You are dealing with a bunch of dregs who are mad" Now how does he know that? In this business i have to deal with a lot of mad people. I am not even trying to be nasty or mean. I genuinely believe that the majority have a chemical imbalance in the brain and are genuinely suffering from some sort of mental problem whether it be mild or sever. No wonder I feel drained most of the time. I have a friend who just confessed to me she started using drugs to cope with the stress  :'( These people are not normal. The ones that are, are few and far between. For me anyway. Or it could be that the mad ones affect me the most that I forget their are a tiny few that are a bit normal?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 04 January 2016, 06:00:26 pm
Quote from: storm on 04 January 2016, 04:43:53 pm
Hi,

 I would like to spend two hours with you. I have unique proposal. Instead of money I would like to offer you one watch out of four. You can pick your choice, all are branded.Hope you are fine with this.

Would like to meet you asap. Would like to enjoy bit of BDSM (GIVING) ,A level and bit of role play. I have small penis.

Hope this works with you.

Cheers

Your not that special I'm afraid Storm as he sent that same email to one of the other ladies a couple of pages ago and probably hundreds of other escorts up and down the country x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LAC-xox on 04 January 2016, 07:55:22 pm
Ugh sifting through emails after 2 weeks off... Bareback request, role play that would be impossible to accommodate, bareback request, 50 pairs of tights guy, can I fuck you anal in an alleyway behind my house. Back to reality it is then  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 04 January 2016, 10:53:37 pm
What happened to a bunch of posts?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 05 January 2016, 09:14:45 am
Hi how are you? I have a strange fantasy that you may like to do? Willing to pay handsomely to get this done too. Basically I want you to shove me into a farm slurry pit and watch me sink in it as you count your cash. Then as I get sucked under you blow me a kiss and walk away with your cash x 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 05 January 2016, 11:18:45 am
Quote from: hannah13 on 05 January 2016, 09:14:45 am
Hi how are you? I have a strange fantasy that you may like to do? Willing to pay handsomely to get this done too. Basically I want you to shove me into a farm slurry pit and watch me sink in it as you count your cash. Then as I get sucked under you blow me a kiss and walk away with your cash x

Lol! Where do they get these fantasies from? And why oh why do they actually think that this kind of fantasy is a possibility?

Where the fuck do you get a farm slurry pit? And on the off chance you have one in your back garden, you then get done for murder as you have some guys deed body lying there?

And I thought the email I got from someone wanting castrated was bad.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 05 January 2016, 11:56:48 am
Quote from: hannah13 on 05 January 2016, 09:14:45 am
Hi how are you? I have a strange fantasy that you may like to do? Willing to pay handsomely to get this done too. Basically I want you to shove me into a farm slurry pit and watch me sink in it as you count your cash. Then as I get sucked under you blow me a kiss and walk away with your cash x

Hmm I had something spookily similar to this last year.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 05 January 2016, 12:45:52 pm
Just had a previous "Booked and cancelled" phone me to make a booking for tomorrow morning around 10am, I'm not bothered about booking him because he had previoulsy let me down very close to his booking time with a "Ive been called back to work" excuse but as he had actually cancelled and not been a NS  I told him that's fine but I only take same day bookings and he would need to call me tomorrow between 8am and 9am to confirm he is still coming.
Cheeky bugger then asks if I could call him tonight to remind him that he needs to call me back tomorrow morning to confirm his booking to which I replied in my huffiest voice "Darling if you were genuine and really wanted this booking you wouldn't need reminding!" I can't believe he actually sounded disappointed that I wouldn't provide him with a reminder service.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 05 January 2016, 01:57:31 pm
Between the oddness like "I want to shove ice cubes/various food items up your ass and then make you eat them" I often get "I'd like you to wear X costume and play out this extremely convoluted fantasy" then when I say I don't have the outfit they say they will buy it and ask about my measurements. Not giving them a free wank so I say if they pay me in advance I will buy the outfit for the booking. Of course I never hear from them again after that because they never intended to make a booking in the first place they just want to know if I'd do it.

I think that sums up the weird ones too they aren't interested in actually doing these things they just like to find out what an escort will do for money and then talk about it over a wank.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 05 January 2016, 03:21:00 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 05 January 2016, 11:18:45 am
Quote from: hannah13 on 05 January 2016, 09:14:45 am
Hi how are you? I have a strange fantasy that you may like to do? Willing to pay handsomely to get this done too. Basically I want you to shove me into a farm slurry pit and watch me sink in it as you count your cash. Then as I get sucked under you blow me a kiss and walk away with your cash x

Lol! Where do they get these fantasies from? And why oh why do they actually think that this kind of fantasy is a possibility?

Where the fuck do you get a farm slurry pit? And on the off chance you have one in your back garden, you then get done for murder as you have some guys deed body lying there?

And I thought the email I got from someone wanting castrated was bad.

I know the general consensus on here is that we must be polite in all our dealings with potential clients but....you'd have to say something to that guy re: slurry pit. I would have to ask him if he is asking me to commit murder or something. I'm sorry but he is a complete cock.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 06 January 2016, 05:05:04 pm
Hey baby how are you he says.

Now I just say I'm fully booked then hang up then block. Indon't have time for these wasters.  I would say my screening is a lot stricter now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 06 January 2016, 05:37:09 pm
Quote from: meetingdiversity on 06 January 2016, 05:05:04 pm
Hey baby how are you he says.

Now I just say I'm fully booked then hang up then block. Indon't have time for these wasters.  I would say my screening is a lot stricter now.

I can tolerate babe, fine with hunni (as I use that word myself) but I can't bear baby. Baby from a stranger makes my skin crawl a little, no idea why x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 06 January 2016, 06:52:24 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 05 January 2016, 11:18:45 am
Quote from: hannah13 on 05 January 2016, 09:14:45 am
Hi how are you? I have a strange fantasy that you may like to do? Willing to pay handsomely to get this done too. Basically I want you to shove me into a farm slurry pit and watch me sink in it as you count your cash. Then as I get sucked under you blow me a kiss and walk away with your cash x

Lol! Where do they get these fantasies from? And why oh why do they actually think that this kind of fantasy is a possibility?

Where the fuck do you get a farm slurry pit? And on the off chance you have one in your back garden, you then get done for murder as you have some guys deed body lying there?

And I thought the email I got from someone wanting castrated was bad.

Quote from: Shewolf on 05 January 2016, 03:21:00 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 05 January 2016, 11:18:45 am
Quote from: hannah13 on 05 January 2016, 09:14:45 am
Hi how are you? I have a strange fantasy that you may like to do? Willing to pay handsomely to get this done too. Basically I want you to shove me into a farm slurry pit and watch me sink in it as you count your cash. Then as I get sucked under you blow me a kiss and walk away with your cash x

Lol! Where do they get these fantasies from? And why oh why do they actually think that this kind of fantasy is a possibility?

Where the fuck do you get a farm slurry pit? And on the off chance you have one in your back garden, you then get done for murder as you have some guys deed body lying there?

And I thought the email I got from someone wanting castrated was bad.

I know the general consensus on here is that we must be polite in all our dealings with potential clients but....you'd have to say something to that guy re: slurry pit. I would have to ask him if he is asking me to commit murder or something. I'm sorry but he is a complete cock.

I was sorely tempted to ask why he wants me to commit murder but I guess what he wants is a reaction.   ::)


Email recieved at 2.28am, heading is his number content is "ring me"  ::)

Out of curiousity I checked his age, I sure don't remember being so rude at 23!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Disciplinarian on 06 January 2016, 06:55:20 pm
Quote from: meetingdiversity on 06 January 2016, 05:05:04 pm
Hey baby how are you he says.

Now I just say I'm fully booked then hang up then block. Indon't have time for these wasters.  I would say my screening is a lot stricter now.

If I blocked every punter than started a conversation with a harmless ice-breaker and a term of endearment (albeit a crass one)...I'd be bankrupt.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 06 January 2016, 07:14:41 pm
Quote from: Disciplinarian on 06 January 2016, 06:55:20 pm
Quote from: meetingdiversity on 06 January 2016, 05:05:04 pm
Hey baby how are you he says.

Now I just say I'm fully booked then hang up then block. Indon't have time for these wasters.  I would say my screening is a lot stricter now.

If I blocked every punter than started a conversation with a harmless ice-breaker and a term of endearment (albeit a crass one)...I'd be bankrupt.

Yeah I have to agree that's not worth a block in my opinion. This is why it's so important to speak to them on the phone. If he sounded normal but called me baby, fine. If he sounded creepy then, no! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 06 January 2016, 07:28:30 pm
I give them a few chances before blocking. Many always turn out to be a time waster for me. There are many genuine ones who don't sound corny.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 06 January 2016, 08:22:08 pm
'Can u do 5 mins wit ur feet in my face n i wank n cum on ur boobs 2nite?'

Do you think he means at the same time? I'm trying to imagine it but struggling....what a little charmer eh?  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 06 January 2016, 10:10:44 pm
Just got a neutral feedback on my profile on the advertisement website I use. I'll just straight-up quote the text, since it's easier than paraphrasing. ;D

"I was just looking for some sex, but it's impossible to find ur number, I think you sould make it easier for guys or womem to find ur number, it's too hard, i went to your webpage but tere it was no contactinfo, I bet u ave lost many customers because it's so hard I got a headace from all te time I used and I was unsucsessful."

... My contact info is a bolded, big font email address on my website in the "Contact" category. Sometimes, I really wonder how those people get by in their daily life.

Not really a booking request per se, as much as a whinge about failing to book, but I felt it's thread-relevant.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 06 January 2016, 10:43:01 pm
Quote from: The_Lynx on 06 January 2016, 10:10:44 pm
Just got a neutral feedback on my profile on the advertisement website I use. I'll just straight-up quote the text, since it's easier than paraphrasing. ;D

"I was just looking for some sex, but it's impossible to find ur number, I think you sould make it easier for guys or womem to find ur number, it's too hard, i went to your webpage but tere it was no contactinfo, I bet u ave lost many customers because it's so hard I got a headace from all te time I used and I was unsucsessful."

... My contact info is a bolded, big font email address on my website in the "Contact" category. Sometimes, I really wonder how those people get by in their daily life.

Not really a booking request per se, as much as a whinge about failing to book, but I felt it's thread-relevant.

When they have a hard on, all the blood rushes away from their head to their willy wonka which means they don't think straight.

Sometimes I need to try and remind myself of this when someone makes an enquiry having clearly not read my profile which is why I always give second chances now and refer them back to my profile unless they sound completely stupid like the guy in question here.

He sounds like a complete moron so I don't think you've missed much when it comes to him lol.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 06 January 2016, 10:50:40 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 06 January 2016, 10:43:01 pm
He sounds like a complete moron so I don't think you've missed much when it comes to him lol.


Yep. Far as I am concerned, this is a proof that filtering through email first works as intended. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Disciplinarian on 06 January 2016, 10:51:53 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 06 January 2016, 08:22:08 pm
'Can u do 5 mins wit ur feet in my face n i wank n cum on ur boobs 2nite?'

Do you think he means at the same time? I'm trying to imagine it but struggling....what a little charmer eh?  :D

He sounds like a real catch.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 07 January 2016, 01:10:53 am
Quote from: hannah13 on 05 January 2016, 09:14:45 am
Hi how are you? I have a strange fantasy that you may like to do? Willing to pay handsomely to get this done too. Basically I want you to shove me into a farm slurry pit and watch me sink in it as you count your cash. Then as I get sucked under you blow me a kiss and walk away with your cash x

I think sometimes they say these things to wine us up. Some of them know exactly what they are doing. Sigh!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 07 January 2016, 11:13:50 am
I'm not sure if someone is on the winde up or not but I got a missed call at 5.22am

So I text them this morning saying......

Sorry but I don't work 24 hours a day. If you would like to meet then please read my profile and call me within my working hours.

Then about half an hour ago this is the exact text I receive from him saying......

Bby I am a young boy I like licking yours pussy anal boobs eating ur b pussy cum ur licking my ass cock without a condom and how much for 1 hour at my home bby xxx

Cock brain of the highest level  ::)

Normally that's the kinda shit I would have reacted to and told to fuck off but really there is no point in getting wound up over that illiterate, creepy wee freak!

Blocked!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Disciplinarian on 07 January 2016, 12:11:17 pm
That HAS to be a wind up, not even google translate could produce such drivel.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 07 January 2016, 01:29:14 pm
No but teenage boys can produce it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roseanna on 07 January 2016, 01:37:35 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 07 January 2016, 01:29:14 pm
No but teenage boys can produce it.

That's just what I thought too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Disciplinarian on 07 January 2016, 01:55:17 pm
Send him to me, I'll sort him out.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 07 January 2016, 02:00:02 pm
How many teenage boys are up during the nite phoning hookers at 5am though?

I don't think he's a teenage boy, I do think he is young though and incredibly stupid.

Saying that, maybe he's 18 or 19.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 07 January 2016, 02:02:17 pm
Bearing in mind, he's after an outcall. Can't imagine many young teenage boys having their own place unless he's in student accommodation or something but with those brains, I very much doubt he's a student x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 07 January 2016, 02:52:40 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 07 January 2016, 02:02:17 pm
Bearing in mind, he's after an outcall. Can't imagine many young teenage boys having their own place unless he's in student accommodation or something but with those brains, I very much doubt he's a student x

I have visited a few guys, in their early 20s, who live with their parents - they obviously had to wait for them to be out before booking me, but they passed my security checks so I had no problem with visiting them. But those are the exceptions, most who ask me to visit them who live with their parents are morons like Kendra's texter!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 07 January 2016, 03:48:19 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 07 January 2016, 02:02:17 pm
Bearing in mind, he's after an outcall. Can't imagine many young teenage boys having their own place unless he's in student accommodation or something but with those brains, I very much doubt he's a student x

I doubt he actually intends to make a booking just probably had a few drinks and wants a wank. Might even be having a laugh with mates doing it with various women. Could easily be around 16-17 doesn't seem like the type to go to College or stay in school longer than they need to. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 07 January 2016, 06:24:46 pm
I really dislike early January with a passion.Its a trail by timewaster!
Todays beauties include 'I know it says you need an hours notice but I'm 5 mins away can I see you now?'..'Funnily enough..no'.
'What does it cost?''Do you do domination?'..'No sorry not my thing' 'Oh so you only do sex then?'...sigh.
'I've been surfing the internet and found your profile,how does it work then?'...'Are you wanting to make a booking?' 'Yeah tonight at say 11 or 12''I don't work that late'..'Can I see you tomorrow then?' Yes how long for?''Er well I've been looking at your pics and thought I'd call you rather than wanking over them now'...'Thanks for sharing'...puts phone down.
I give up today phone getting switched off.
Oh plus 2 emails one telling me how he is a goodlooking 22 year old and asking if I'm on my own and another asking if I will tickle them neither replied to me when I asked when they wanted to book.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 07 January 2016, 08:35:55 pm
A charmer on adultwork this evening (he also has 4 other aliases, all deactivated):

"i would like to rape you, i dont care if you report me"

And then when I was in the process of blocking him:

"my number is ....078056963**

call me"

Thanks for giving me a number to block as well!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 07 January 2016, 08:41:53 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 07 January 2016, 08:35:55 pm
A charmer on adultwork this evening (he also has 4 other aliases, all deactivated):

"i would like to rape you, i dont care if you report me"

And then when I was in the process of blocking him:

"my number is ....078056963**

call me"

Thanks for giving me a number to block as well!

I LOVE IT when ones like that give me their number aswell, piece of mind x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 07 January 2016, 08:44:49 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 07 January 2016, 08:41:53 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 07 January 2016, 08:35:55 pm
A charmer on adultwork this evening (he also has 4 other aliases, all deactivated):

"i would like to rape you, i dont care if you report me"

And then when I was in the process of blocking him:

"my number is ....078056963**

call me"

Thanks for giving me a number to block as well!

I LOVE IT when ones like that give me their number aswell, piece of mind x

I just went onto his profile and there are 4 photos of his face, and his profile reads:

surfing the site ..and soon..hoping to surf you !
Average guy, looking to meet others and mix in x

I like everything on my list, but am happy to just take a nice girl out for a meal and some good conversation.

Or maybe you could come to mine and just cuddle on the sofa...

[Disclaimer: All email requests are fictional and not intended to cause offence. Thank you]


Oh and he's not located anywhere near my area, I guess he's run out of girls to offend in his own city.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 07 January 2016, 11:40:12 pm
And now he's just reactivated and messaged me on one of the aliases (the name from earlier is now deactivated) and it looks like he's been in touch about incest fantasies - this profile has the same dude in the photos as the earlier one. Another for the block list  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 07 January 2016, 11:51:27 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 07 January 2016, 11:40:12 pm
And now he's just reactivated and messaged me on one of the aliases (the name from earlier is now deactivated) and it looks like he's been in touch about incest fantasies - this profile has the same dude in the photos as the earlier one. Another for the block list  ::)

Incest and rape? Boke! He seems seriously fucked in the head.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 08 January 2016, 02:55:56 pm
Don't you just hate it when new clients seem to go in a bit of a huff about your booking procedure?

Client phones me up at 12 noon for a booking this afternoon, I offer him 4pm (as that's all
I have available) he seems a bit unsure then say's ok 4 is fine.

I tell him great, I will text you around 2pm with my address.

Reason for this is because 4 hours is a long time to a man with a hardon as I'm sure most of you will know and lots of them either find someone else or have a wank so I don't send my address right away to a new client if it's hours in advance like that. I only send the address straight away if it a very short notice booking like an hour ahead or something.

He sounds unsure on the phone about me sending my address at 2pm so he asks for a rough idea. I've absolutely no problem with that so I told him a well known landmark that is literally 10 seconds away from my apartment, told him which part of the city it was and told him the first part of my postcode then proceed to tell him that I will still be in touch around 2pm with all the details.

I get off the phone and he sends a text asking if I can see him any earlier to let him know, this is usually another indicator that he's going to cancel or not show. I tell him that I can't do any earlier and he agrees that 4pm is fine.

Fast forward to 2pm, I sent him a polite text just to make sure we were ok still for 4pm (after him confirming, my address would follow) but I got a barking text back saying "just send address please".

Erm, no. No thank you!

I cancelled!

Just wasn't getting a good vibe from him and his tone seemed off and he seemed utterly obsessed with my address.

This happens occasionally, why is it these ones seem so obsessed with the address? How do they think our other clients get here? Do they think our other clients are psychic? I stuck to my end of the deal, I text him when I said I would. I was just checking everything was ok before sending my address out to a stranger who's maybe found someone else or changed his mind, no big deal? Right?

It's like the ones who phone up asking for your address and postcode before they have even asked you if your available. This client didn't do that, I'm just saying.

If it's a case of trying to find his bearings or google street view the apartment then they still have a couple of hours to do so. Where's all the mad rush?

He probably thinks I'm nuts for cancelling but I don't care, if someone gives me a bad vibe then the deal is off. That's the sensible option same as they wouldn't hesitate to cancel us or not show up if something about us put them off!

So annoying and now it's too late for me to organise a booking with someone else at that time  ::)

Ok I've got that out of my system  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 08 January 2016, 03:44:33 pm
How I work is with new clients if they want to book 4 hours in advance say they call me at 12 for a 4 o clock booking I'd ask them where will they be travelling from, this way I can gauge how long it will take them to reach me, if they say for example they are coming from the city centre (that's about 30 mins away) I'd say OK call me when you're ready to set off at 3.30pm and I will give you my postcode, when they arrive ( and I can see them) they call me again for my door number.

Working  this way means...
1. If they do call back they are more likely to be genuine.
2. They are more likely to turn up.
3. I have half hour to get ready.

No phone call at 3.30 means theres no booking = No running round putting on slap and susses for a no show.

Won't work for everyone but it certainly works for me.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 08 January 2016, 04:00:25 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 08 January 2016, 03:44:33 pm
How I work is with new clients if they want to book 4 hours in advance say they call me at 12 for a 4 o clock booking I'd ask them where will they be travelling from, this way I can gauge how long it will take them to reach me, if they say for example they are coming from the city centre (that's about 30 mins away) I'd say OK call me when you're ready to set off at 3.30pm and I will give you my postcode, when they arrive ( and I can see them) they call me again for my door number.

Working  this way means...
1. If they do call back they are more likely to be genuine.
2. They are more likely to turn up.
3. I have half hour to get ready.

No phone call at 3.30 means theres no booking = No running round putting on slap and susses for a no show.

Won't work for everyone but it certainly works for me.

It's so funny how different ways of working and dealing with things are so different between us all.

Like some clients are so genuinely shocked that I won't take their booking through a text because some other girls do, I would never take a booking from a stranger in a text.....EVER!

I would be in such a state if I was running around trying to get ready in half an hour lol. Takes me an hour to get ready.

Yes this man said it takes an hour to get to me and then says he was in Glasgow shopping so who knows where he was at the time but regardless, 2 hours notice with all the details should be more than enough for anyone x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 08 January 2016, 04:16:56 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 05 January 2016, 12:45:52 pm
Just had a previous "Booked and cancelled" phone me to make a booking for tomorrow morning around 10am, I'm not bothered about booking him because he had previoulsy let me down very close to his booking time with a "Ive been called back to work" excuse but as he had actually cancelled and not been a NS  I told him that's fine but I only take same day bookings and he would need to call me tomorrow between 8am and 9am to confirm he is still coming.
Cheeky bugger then asks if I could call him tonight to remind him that he needs to call me back tomorrow morning to confirm his booking to which I replied in my huffiest voice "Darling if you were genuine and really wanted this booking you wouldn't need reminding!" I can't believe he actually sounded disappointed that I wouldn't provide him with a reminder service.  :FF
This same guy wanted a booking yesterday so he managed to remember (all by himself) to call me on the morning of his booking for a 1'oclock,  he already had my post code from the previous cancelled booking so I said "See you at 1pm then" he replies "Yeah I'll be there around 1-1.30 ish" so right there my back was up so I called a halt, I told him not to waste my time and not to contact me again. 15 minutes later I received a text
10.15am "May I ask why? I can be their by 1pm"
10.32am "Please may I come to see you at 1pm"
10.48am "Pay you an extra ?10 if I can see you at 12.30pm
His lack of understanding that my time is precious (to me) and expect me to sit around waiting for him to turn up (or not) was insulting.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra Glasgow on 08 January 2016, 04:32:35 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 08 January 2016, 04:16:56 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 05 January 2016, 12:45:52 pm
Just had a previous "Booked and cancelled" phone me to make a booking for tomorrow morning around 10am, I'm not bothered about booking him because he had previoulsy let me down very close to his booking time with a "Ive been called back to work" excuse but as he had actually cancelled and not been a NS  I told him that's fine but I only take same day bookings and he would need to call me tomorrow between 8am and 9am to confirm he is still coming.
Cheeky bugger then asks if I could call him tonight to remind him that he needs to call me back tomorrow morning to confirm his booking to which I replied in my huffiest voice "Darling if you were genuine and really wanted this booking you wouldn't need reminding!" I can't believe he actually sounded disappointed that I wouldn't provide him with a reminder service.  :FF
This same guy wanted a booking yesterday so he managed to remember (all by himself) to call me on the morning of his booking for a 1'oclock,  he already had my post code from the previous cancelled booking so I said "See you at 1pm then" he replies "Yeah I'll be there around 1-1.30 ish" so right there my back was up so I called a halt, I told him not to waste my time and not to contact me again. 15 minutes later I received a text
10.15am "May I ask why? I can be their by 1pm"
10.32am "Please may I come to see you at 1pm"
10.48am "Pay you an extra ?10 if I can see you at 12.30pm
His lack of understanding that my time is precious (to me) and expect me to sit around waiting for him to turn up (or not) was insulting.

It's because so many don't think that this is a job for us, they don't realise that our work is as important to us as theirs is to them. Thankfully there are plenty out there that do respect our time x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 08 January 2016, 05:45:01 pm
Yep had another silly day one bloke wanting me to give him a blow job for his entire booking even continuing when he comes without a pause or to wipe him and one bloke who wanted to spank me hard with an implement for the entire booking.I allow light spanking nothing on my profile that suggests I am a suvmissive or into being spanked hard so I am in pain.He also couldn't commit to an exact time '4pm give or take'..just no.So hoping the normal nice blokes start ringing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 08 January 2016, 06:25:21 pm
It really has been fucktard Friday today. Very busy on the phone but all idiots who haven't read my details so only one booking out of about 15 calls.

The last one via email asked if he booked 15 minutes and went over would he have to paid extra. I have told him I make sure appointments don't go over and if he wants longer he should book longer. He also asked what I liked. Who cares when you're only booking 15 minutes!!!

Phone on silent, email closed, nice hot bath :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 08 January 2016, 06:52:58 pm
I wonder how many ladies in my area received this email........

My wife is away tonight hence you're cordially invited to XXXXX to be wined, dined and, errr definitely kissed all over!! x

Unsurprisingly his profile was set up as an escort and no payment was mentioned!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 08 January 2016, 08:31:47 pm
I get an email asking for my next availability. On Thursday I have an hours booking at 2pm and no other plans so I tell him I'm free noon - 1pm and 4pm - midnight.
He asks for Thurs at 2pm. I tell him no. Then he asks for Thurs at 1pm. I tell him I am free UNTIL 1pm. Then he asks for Thurs at 11am.
WTF part of noon - 1pm and 4pm - midnight was unclear???
Then he just tells me to book him in whenever I like, so I tell him Thurs at 4pm and give him my number to text confirmation to on Thurs morning. I don't even bother writing it in the diary I'm so sure he's not going to show. Predictably, no confirmation text arrives by noon on Thurs.
Then on Friday morn he emails to say he's confirming for his 4pm booking. I tell him it was yesterday. He emails back that he lost my number and emailed to confirm, claiming he sent that previous email on Thurs morning. Then he asks when he can rebook.

How do people like this manage to get dressed in the morning, srsly?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 08 January 2016, 09:47:05 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 08 January 2016, 06:52:58 pm
I wonder how many ladies in my area received this email........

My wife is away tonight hence you're cordially invited to XXXXX to be wined, dined and, errr definitely kissed all over!! x

Unsurprisingly his profile was set up as an escort and no payment was mentioned!

Yeuk! No thanks mate! Fingers down throat.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Littlemisslondon on 08 January 2016, 10:58:18 pm
Quote from: Nova on 08 January 2016, 08:31:47 pm
I get an email asking for my next availability. On Thursday I have an hours booking at 2pm and no other plans so I tell him I'm free noon - 1pm and 4pm - midnight.
He asks for Thurs at 2pm. I tell him no. Then he asks for Thurs at 1pm. I tell him I am free UNTIL 1pm. Then he asks for Thurs at 11am.
WTF part of noon - 1pm and 4pm - midnight was unclear???
Then he just tells me to book him in whenever I like, so I tell him Thurs at 4pm and give him my number to text confirmation to on Thurs morning. I don't even bother writing it in the diary I'm so sure he's not going to show. Predictably, no confirmation text arrives by noon on Thurs.
Then on Friday morn he emails to say he's confirming for his 4pm booking. I tell him it was yesterday. He emails back that he lost my number and emailed to confirm, claiming he sent that previous email on Thurs morning. Then he asks when he can rebook.

How do people like this manage to get dressed in the morning, srsly? Their wives dress them probably !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Candy on 08 January 2016, 10:58:28 pm
Quote from: Nova on 08 January 2016, 08:31:47 pm
I get an email asking for my next availability. On Thursday I have an hours booking at 2pm and no other plans so I tell him I'm free noon - 1pm and 4pm - midnight.
He asks for Thurs at 2pm. I tell him no. Then he asks for Thurs at 1pm. I tell him I am free UNTIL 1pm. Then he asks for Thurs at 11am.
WTF part of noon - 1pm and 4pm - midnight was unclear???
Then he just tells me to book him in whenever I like, so I tell him Thurs at 4pm and give him my number to text confirmation to on Thurs morning. I don't even bother writing it in the diary I'm so sure he's not going to show. Predictably, no confirmation text arrives by noon on Thurs.
Then on Friday morn he emails to say he's confirming for his 4pm booking. I tell him it was yesterday. He emails back that he lost my number and emailed to confirm, claiming he sent that previous email on Thurs morning. Then he asks when he can rebook.

How do people like this manage to get dressed in the morning, srsly?

I take only same day bookings unless somebody is very clear. I would sent him once again the number and tell him to call one hour before he wants to come or the time its suits you.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 09 January 2016, 01:31:43 am
Quote from: Nova on 08 January 2016, 08:31:47 pm
I get an email asking for my next availability. On Thursday I have an hours booking at 2pm and no other plans so I tell him I'm free noon - 1pm and 4pm - midnight.
He asks for Thurs at 2pm. I tell him no. Then he asks for Thurs at 1pm. I tell him I am free UNTIL 1pm. Then he asks for Thurs at 11am.
WTF part of noon - 1pm and 4pm - midnight was unclear???
Then he just tells me to book him in whenever I like, so I tell him Thurs at 4pm and give him my number to text confirmation to on Thurs morning. I don't even bother writing it in the diary I'm so sure he's not going to show. Predictably, no confirmation text arrives by noon on Thurs.
Then on Friday morn he emails to say he's confirming for his 4pm booking. I tell him it was yesterday. He emails back that he lost my number and emailed to confirm, claiming he sent that previous email on Thurs morning. Then he asks when he can rebook.

How do people like this manage to get dressed in the morning, srsly?

Ah, this is such a bug-bear of mine, I tell people I'm free until e.g 4pm and some will reply "so does the booking have to end by that time?" or "can I have 4pm". I'm never sure what part of from and until is so hard to understand. Do these people show up at shops at their closing time and expect to be served (actually, they probably do...)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 09 January 2016, 02:44:30 am
Quote from: Just An Escort on 09 January 2016, 01:31:43 am
Quote from: Nova on 08 January 2016, 08:31:47 pm
I get an email asking for my next availability. On Thursday I have an hours booking at 2pm and no other plans so I tell him I'm free noon - 1pm and 4pm - midnight.
He asks for Thurs at 2pm. I tell him no. Then he asks for Thurs at 1pm. I tell him I am free UNTIL 1pm. Then he asks for Thurs at 11am.
WTF part of noon - 1pm and 4pm - midnight was unclear???
Then he just tells me to book him in whenever I like, so I tell him Thurs at 4pm and give him my number to text confirmation to on Thurs morning. I don't even bother writing it in the diary I'm so sure he's not going to show. Predictably, no confirmation text arrives by noon on Thurs.
Then on Friday morn he emails to say he's confirming for his 4pm booking. I tell him it was yesterday. He emails back that he lost my number and emailed to confirm, claiming he sent that previous email on Thurs morning. Then he asks when he can rebook.

How do people like this manage to get dressed in the morning, srsly?

Ah, this is such a bug-bear of mine, I tell people I'm free until e.g 4pm and some will reply "so does the booking have to end by that time?" or "can I have 4pm". I'm never sure what part of from and until is so hard to understand. Do these people show up at shops at their closing time and expect to be served (actually, they probably do...)


Its because they want you to think that somehow they are not actually clients, but someone extra special so you will treat them as such and drop your other commitments/whole life to accommodate them  and their stupidly over inflated ego's !! This is because NOBODY at all in their actual life would find them important enough to do that. (rolls eyes) 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 09 January 2016, 02:10:34 pm
Quote from: Candy on 08 January 2016, 10:58:28 pm
Quote from: Nova on 08 January 2016, 08:31:47 pm
I get an email asking for my next availability. On Thursday I have an hours booking at 2pm and no other plans so I tell him I'm free noon - 1pm and 4pm - midnight.
He asks for Thurs at 2pm. I tell him no. Then he asks for Thurs at 1pm. I tell him I am free UNTIL 1pm. Then he asks for Thurs at 11am.
WTF part of noon - 1pm and 4pm - midnight was unclear???
Then he just tells me to book him in whenever I like, so I tell him Thurs at 4pm and give him my number to text confirmation to on Thurs morning. I don't even bother writing it in the diary I'm so sure he's not going to show. Predictably, no confirmation text arrives by noon on Thurs.
Then on Friday morn he emails to say he's confirming for his 4pm booking. I tell him it was yesterday. He emails back that he lost my number and emailed to confirm, claiming he sent that previous email on Thurs morning. Then he asks when he can rebook.

How do people like this manage to get dressed in the morning, srsly?

I take only same day bookings unless somebody is very clear. I would sent him once again the number and tell him to call one hour before he wants to come or the time its suits you.

I don't take same-day bookings so that wouldn't work for me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 15 January 2016, 09:12:24 pm
A text on 6th December "Hows Kat?"   *ignored*


Then yesterday at 11.30am (when it said clearly on my front page of profile that I wasn't available at all on Thursday 14th Jan:


Him: "Can't talk can I come at 12 today?"

Me : Sorry I'm out of Sheffield all day, back tomorrow"

Him: I'm working not far from you"

Me: And...

Him: Wanted an hour session !"

Me: Well I've just told you that I'm out of Sheffield all day!!"



For fuck sake what part of not available doesn't he understand?!! Was he expecting me to just cancel my planned family day out, dash back to Sheffield on a whim of his just because he happened to be nearby with a hard on!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 16 January 2016, 03:24:07 am
Can't sleep so just turned my phone on out of curiosity.  8 messages all within minutes of each other from the same number.  All say "free? " bar one which said "free hun?" Between 2 and 2.30. 
Profile bloody states I like to aim to be finished by around 5pm
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 16 January 2016, 09:39:20 am
2 texts at around 7:15 this morning first text telling me how gorgeous I am and we should meet he then sent me a picture of himself (his face) does he think he found me on a dating site?!?I find guys who send me pics of themselves more funny than the ones who send cock pics.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 16 January 2016, 09:43:40 am
This text received a few days ago: Hi looks like you've got a great body and absolutely fantastic legs X

Err yes and....oh I see you think a compliment is gonna land you a freebie. Yeh of course come on over! ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 16 January 2016, 12:00:36 pm
This text exchange this morning: (from someone saved on my phone because he tried to book before but I was fully booked)

Idiot: hello Hun, are you free at all today? X

Me: I am, I can do any time between x-x

Idiot:okay, great, where are your incalls today?

Me: *gives post code*

Idiot: Hun, If i do half an hour can I cum more than once if it's quickly? X

Me: you can indeed.

Idiot: just looked at your prices, any chance of a deal. I can be there in 45 mins? X

Me: sorry, I'm now fully booked today.

Idiot: haha

Idiot: sorry I asked

Idiot: how about for full price?   


He's now on my phone as idiot discount chaser. Even if I'd then agreed to see him at full price he wouldn't have turned up and if he had I would have had a sour mood towards him.

X

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 16 January 2016, 12:12:45 pm
I can tell That I'm really in for it today with idiots...

Idiot: Bb I wish 12pm is ok ??

Idiot: waiting for text or I like phone call darling

Idiot: Bb can u meet with me plz? I wait because I don't know

Me: sorry I'm fully booked today

Idiot: ok bb just why u txt me  can I intresed booking u time??



And I keep getting a call from someone I've been ignoring for over a year now. Every day he just lets it call through once so it comes up on my phone that I have a missed call. I only saw him once. He was a bit creepy and had a warning on here so I didn't see him again. And he won't leave me alone!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sugar on 16 January 2016, 10:45:17 pm
Hi love. Are you available? I have very unusual fetish about pissing on somerhing in your room. Is it possible? Thanks.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 16 January 2016, 11:22:37 pm
Tell him he can piss in your toilet if he likes x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Candy on 17 January 2016, 02:00:18 am
Quote from: Roxy101 on 16 January 2016, 12:12:45 pm
I can tell That I'm really in for it today with idiots...

Idiot: Bb I wish 12pm is ok ??

Idiot: waiting for text or I like phone call darling

Idiot: Bb can u meet with me plz? I wait because I don't know

Me: sorry I'm fully booked today

Idiot: ok bb just why u txt me  can I intresed booking u time??



And I keep getting a call from someone I've been ignoring for over a year now. Every day he just lets it call through once so it comes up on my phone that I have a missed call. I only saw him once. He was a bit creepy and had a warning on here so I didn't see him again. And he won't leave me alone!  :FF

Roxy, why are answering them then? You hope that he will be booking and turning up or you just bored or something? If I don't see proper text with the name, time of the date and so, I don't answer and I have a clean mind far away from these idiots! I would go crazy if I would answer all of them!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 17 January 2016, 09:46:59 am
I've been getting texts from some guy since November. The first couple I answered as they seemed normal questions. Then he went onto wanting to meet, could he take me to see local bands etc. All the texts are posed as a question.
eg. Are you busy today,
'What you doing for New Year'?
 ' Do you do yoga'?  !!!
All this since November, I get one the other day and it says
' can I ask you a question' !!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 17 January 2016, 09:58:50 am
This text received twice yesterday Hi would love to try to explain myself if that's OK am very shy .. hope not a problem ... x

....yawn, too shy to call most likely, not that old chestnut
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 17 January 2016, 11:53:56 am
Sometimes, but not very often I like to get revenge on time wasters..

He calls on the Thursday & books for that evening. Was out of my local area in few towns along so knew he wouldn't make the drive out to me. So I gave the wrong postcode & drop a few texts ie. call me from the carpark etc but no response as expected. The next day he texts:

Him: "Hi how are you! Sorry I completely forgot about the other night! Are you free tonight? x
Me: "I'm good thanks, been rushed off my feet with lots of lovely genuine clients today & filled your booking last night with a fantastic guy who's going to be a regular! Epic! Now I'm off out on the town with friends so can't fit you in. Good luck!"

No response funnily enough & not heard from again...  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 17 January 2016, 12:00:50 pm
First contact:

"Are you any good?"


I just can't... I mean... I don't even...What???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 17 January 2016, 12:21:59 pm
Reply: Yes I am shit hot. Now F off.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 17 January 2016, 12:27:20 pm
Was tempted by, 'With an opener like that, you will never get to find out out,' but decided not to reply.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 17 January 2016, 12:34:58 pm
Quote from: Nova on 17 January 2016, 12:27:20 pm
Was tempted by, 'With an opener like that, you will never get to find out out,' but decided not to reply.

Men like that don't deserve to get to see an escort. Disgusting x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 17 January 2016, 12:55:50 pm
Quote from: Carnal Carmel on 17 January 2016, 09:46:59 am
I've been getting texts from some guy since November. The first couple I answered as they seemed normal questions. Then he went onto wanting to meet, could he take me to see local bands etc. All the texts are posed as a question.
eg. Are you busy today,
'What you doing for New Year'?
 ' Do you do yoga'?  !!!
All this since November, I get one the other day and it says
' can I ask you a question' !!!!!!

I hate when they text "can I ask you a question"! I had someone the other day do that and I replied "sure, if it relates to my services or making a booking" and funnily enough I didn't get a reply to that!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ms.Charlie on 17 January 2016, 04:44:26 pm
Quote
Subject: LIFE CHANGING OFFER
Hi

So your either going to think this message is complete bullshit, wtf, think i'm crazy or all of the above

So 16months ago i was diagnosed with terminal cancer and told i had about 2years to live. From that day forward i have tried to live my life to the full and help as many people as possible.

I fly out soon for an experimental treatment program and i'm not sure if i will return. I have not been close to a women in over 2years and i just don't want a high class escort, i want someone who has life experience. This money would change somebody's life and i want it to be with someone who works hard.

I have quite a vast fortune of around 2-5 million due to the company my family own and my own business. i would be willing to make you a offer for a full day/night with you i would be willing to pay between 150,000 - 250,000 i know that sounds crazy but i just want to cuddle up to someone one last time. this is not about sex or any sexual content for me it's about giving somebody who is determind in life a chance. i'M not going to lie obviously i'd like to feel close one last time i'm just not sure i can with all the meds

I can send across proof and also discuss verification. I understand you probably get a lot of these messages and they turn out to be rubbish. if you are interested i will show you more than enough proof.

If you have any questions don't hesitate to ask. I have helped a lot of people out and will continue to do this.

I look forward to your response. happy to send proof and discuss over the telephone

I wonder if he's a Nigerian prince too?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 17 January 2016, 05:36:53 pm
Quote from: Ms.Charlie on 17 January 2016, 04:44:26 pm
Quote
Subject: LIFE CHANGING OFFER
Hi

So your either going to think this message is complete bullshit, wtf, think i'm crazy or all of the above

So 16months ago i was diagnosed with terminal cancer and told i had about 2years to live. From that day forward i have tried to live my life to the full and help as many people as possible.

I fly out soon for an experimental treatment program and i'm not sure if i will return. I have not been close to a women in over 2years and i just don't want a high class escort, i want someone who has life experience. This money would change somebody's life and i want it to be with someone who works hard.

I have quite a vast fortune of around 2-5 million due to the company my family own and my own business. i would be willing to make you a offer for a full day/night with you i would be willing to pay between 150,000 - 250,000 i know that sounds crazy but i just want to cuddle up to someone one last time. this is not about sex or any sexual content for me it's about giving somebody who is determind in life a chance. i'M not going to lie obviously i'd like to feel close one last time i'm just not sure i can with all the meds

I can send across proof and also discuss verification. I understand you probably get a lot of these messages and they turn out to be rubbish. if you are interested i will show you more than enough proof.

If you have any questions don't hesitate to ask. I have helped a lot of people out and will continue to do this.

I look forward to your response. happy to send proof and discuss over the telephone

I wonder if he's a Nigerian prince too?

That's hilarious... so despite being such a giving, caring soul whose only interest is to help people worldwide with his millions, he won't help you by simply paying your given fee and shutting up  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 17 January 2016, 06:17:03 pm
Send him to me!!!!

Being serious...it could, it just could, be serious! You never know and ooooo wouldn't you kick yourself if someone else on here gets it! hahaha

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Candy on 17 January 2016, 07:22:44 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 17 January 2016, 06:17:03 pm
Send him to me!!!!

Being serious...it could, it just could, be serious! You never know and ooooo wouldn't you kick yourself if someone else on here gets it! hahaha

 ;D

How the nigerian scam is working? They want to pay you money, do they sent you a deposit. What is the catch?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 18 January 2016, 02:49:14 am
Guy calls says he is looking to be a slave for me.

He goes on to say he doesn't want any domination or pain, just to come round and do a household chore for me so I say OK you can come and clean my bathroom. There is a pause and he says 'I don't really fancy that, could I just do some dusting or push the hoover about?

Me: I don't think you know what the word slave means!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 18 January 2016, 07:55:35 am
I have had a request to run errands too that is strange.  I think his name was Chris.  He wants to do chores and run errands.  I told him I wasn't interested.

Who on earth would have a perfect stranger come and do tasks for free?  I mean really!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 18 January 2016, 10:19:28 am
hiya
do you do rimming, prostate massage and anal.  can you make yourself ejaculate in 15 minutes.

so he wants a pile of stuff not on my profile and all within 15 minutes which i also don't do?  great!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Disciplinarian on 18 January 2016, 04:13:07 pm
Quote from: Wailing Banshee on 18 January 2016, 02:49:14 am
Guy calls says he is looking to be a slave for me.

He goes on to say he doesn't want any domination or pain, just to come round and do a household chore for me so I say OK you can come and clean my bathroom. There is a pause and he says 'I don't really fancy that, could I just do some dusting or push the hoover about?

Me: I don't think you know what the word slave means!

I've never heard of this without any punishment involved, it's a very common request I get but the 'slaves' always screw up deliberately so they get a smacked bottom or something.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 18 January 2016, 04:54:54 pm
First he says, 'Hi'.
Then he says, after being ignored, 'Hi I would like to book an appointment'.
Then he says 'I want to tell you something'.

Curiosity got the better of me.  And, of course, he wanted to tell me that he has a Very Large Willy and is that OK.

I had this guy twice, once over email and again over text, didn't realise it was the same bloke until he said he wanted to tell me something again.

No booking, of course. ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 18 January 2016, 06:51:18 pm
Had scores of idiots today.First a bloke rang and sleazy asked if he could be my baby...then I had a bloke text and ask if I was English confirmed I was and he asked if I saw older black men confirmed I do and then he then asked to see me tomorrow and felt the need to tell me he was very big though..I called his bluff and said we will leave it then I don't like big willows and don't like blokes who feel the need to text me about it.He replied with 'I only want a massage'..so why mention it then?
I later had a bloke ring and ask what sort of massages I do.Told him I'm an escort offering GFE..oh no he says I just want a massage.So why ring a hooked who doesn't advertise it then?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 18 January 2016, 07:08:20 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 18 January 2016, 06:51:18 pm
I called his bluff and said we will leave it then I don't like big willows and don't like blokes who feel the need to text me about it.

Big willows? ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 18 January 2016, 07:20:52 pm
Quote from: The_Lynx on 18 January 2016, 07:08:20 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 18 January 2016, 06:51:18 pm
I called his bluff and said we will leave it then I don't like big willows and don't like blokes who feel the need to text me about it.

Big willows? ;D

Oh god that made me laugh I'm sure it was a typo, meaning big willies!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 18 January 2016, 08:49:23 pm
Text convo:

HIM: Hi bbe, are you available on Sunday
ME: Depends who's asking. What is your username?
HIM: Don't have one...what are your services?
ME: Why don't you call me and we can have a chat...
HIM: No I am too embarrassed
ME: Why?
HIM: If my parents catch me chatting to an escort, they will kick off.
...............5 mins later..............
HIM: Even though I am 25!
HIM: Do you do strap on
BLOCK.

 ;D

Do you reckon this was a wind up?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 18 January 2016, 08:52:37 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 18 January 2016, 08:49:23 pm

HIM: If my parents catch me chatting to an escort, they will kick off.
...............5 mins later..............
HIM: Even though I am 25!
HIM: Do you do strap on
BLOCK.

 ;D

Do you reckon this was a wind up?

Considering how common it is for 20-somethings to live at home these days, I doubt it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 18 January 2016, 08:56:38 pm
Why he can't just go out of the house though beats me :))
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 18 January 2016, 11:04:01 pm
Quote from: Roxy101 on 16 January 2016, 12:12:45 pm
I can tell That I'm really in for it today with idiots...

Idiot: Bb I wish 12pm is ok ??

Idiot: waiting for text or I like phone call darling

Idiot: Bb can u meet with me plz? I wait because I don't know

Me: sorry I'm fully booked today

Idiot: ok bb just why u txt me  can I intresed booking u time??



And I keep getting a call from someone I've been ignoring for over a year now. Every day he just lets it call through once so it comes up on my phone that I have a missed call. I only saw him once. He was a bit creepy and had a warning on here so I didn't see him again. And he won't leave me alone!  :FF

I so know the feeling. Been getting texts from an idiot since November. I was put off my him when he called me babe but thought I would give him a chance so politely told him to stop, to which he did. Anyways, switched my phone on as wasn't working for a while to receive a bunch of texts from him.

"Hi are you working?"
"Hi are you free?"
"Hello?"
"Rebecca?"
"Are you free today?"
"I'm in the area today and want to see you"
Then couple missed calls. Then more texts. This has been going on almost every day for the past two months, checking by the date as my phone is never on when I am not working.

I put him down as do not see as I think this persistent texting is a bit clingy/needy/psycho. Now I want to tell him I am not working  or say some lie. But would he stop? I just want him to stop texting me :-[ My phone hasn't got a blocking feature. This is kinda psycho. No? Why do they do this? :'(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 19 January 2016, 12:02:51 am
Quote from: Jessica201 on 18 January 2016, 11:04:01 pm
Quote from: Roxy101 on 16 January 2016, 12:12:45 pm
I can tell That I'm really in for it today with idiots...

Idiot: Bb I wish 12pm is ok ??

Idiot: waiting for text or I like phone call darling

Idiot: Bb can u meet with me plz? I wait because I don't know

Me: sorry I'm fully booked today

Idiot: ok bb just why u txt me  can I intresed booking u time??



And I keep getting a call from someone I've been ignoring for over a year now. Every day he just lets it call through once so it comes up on my phone that I have a missed call. I only saw him once. He was a bit creepy and had a warning on here so I didn't see him again. And he won't leave me alone!  :FF

I so know the feeling. Been getting texts from an idiot since November. I was put off my him when he called me babe but thought I would give him a chance so politely told him to stop, to which he did. Anyways, switched my phone on as wasn't working for a while to receive a bunch of texts from him.

"Hi are you working?"
"Hi are you free?"
"Hello?"
"Rebecca?"
"Are you free today?"
"I'm in the area today and want to see you"
Then couple missed calls. Then more texts. This has been going on almost every day for the past two months, checking by the date as my phone is never on when I am not working.

I put him down as do not see as I think this persistent texting is a bit clingy/needy/psycho. Now I want to tell him I am not working or I am fully booked for rest of the month or say some lie. But would he stop? I just want him to stop texting me :-[ My phone hasn't got a blocking feature. This is kinda psycho. No? Why do they do this? :'(

I've had quite a few like this, I try ignoring, but when it becomes persistent I sometimes answer and say politely "Sorry I'm fully booked for the rest of this week" and/or "Sorry I don't work anymore" then "Please stop texting/contacting me or I will call the police".  Then totally ignore.  They do eventually move on to some other poor soul.


I had a guy book me for a Saturday night at 9pm about a year ago, he confirmed the booking by 5pm and then didn't turn up. I just got dressed went home,  ignored as I do and stored him as no show. He kept calling and texting me literally every other day asking for a booking as if nothing had happened! He eventually stopped after literally about 10 months.   
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Chanel xxx on 19 January 2016, 10:22:19 pm
I just got this text. I'm so confused? What has this got to do with escorting?

"hi love are you free now? Tell me please is it possible if I spit on your face for 15 min? Nothing else
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 19 January 2016, 10:24:45 pm
He clearly gets off on humiliating women.

Nice one.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 19 January 2016, 10:42:11 pm
Quote from: Chanel xxx on 19 January 2016, 10:22:19 pm
I just got this text. I'm so confused? What has this got to do with escorting?

"hi love are you free now? Tell me please is it possible if I spit on your face for 15 min? Nothing else

I'd tell him if he pays me my hourly rate he can do it. Doubt he would text back lol. If somebody actually wanted to pay me for that I'd do it though that's easy stuff. Kind of gross but it won't hurt and I don't have to have sex with them I love those jobs.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 19 January 2016, 10:52:33 pm
Quote from: Chanel xxx on 19 January 2016, 10:22:19 pm
I just got this text. I'm so confused? What has this got to do with escorting?

"hi love are you free now? Tell me please is it possible if I spit on your face for 15 min? Nothing else

He wants to spit on your face for 15 mins. It's a sexual service. Some ladies offer this (both ways or one way). He gets off on spitting on ladies' faces.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 19 January 2016, 10:54:36 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 19 January 2016, 10:42:11 pm
Quote from: Chanel xxx on 19 January 2016, 10:22:19 pm
I just got this text. I'm so confused? What has this got to do with escorting?

"hi love are you free now? Tell me please is it possible if I spit on your face for 15 min? Nothing else

I'd tell him if he pays me my hourly rate he can do it. Doubt he would text back lol. If somebody actually wanted to pay me for that I'd do it though that's easy stuff. Kind of gross but it won't hurt and I don't have to have sex with them I love those jobs.

I wouldn't. Someone deliberately spitting on my face once - YUCK. Doing it for 15 mins? Fuck off.

HOWEVER - lots of ladies offer a sub or PSE service and would happily do this for the paying client.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 19 January 2016, 11:21:47 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 19 January 2016, 10:52:33 pm
Quote from: Chanel xxx on 19 January 2016, 10:22:19 pm
I just got this text. I'm so confused? What has this got to do with escorting?

"hi love are you free now? Tell me please is it possible if I spit on your face for 15 min? Nothing else

He wants to spit on your face for 15 mins. It's a sexual service. Some ladies offer this (both ways or one way). He gets off on spitting on ladies' faces.

I occasionally have clients who, (in domination bookings)  want me to spit in their face, open their mouth and spit in it now and again,  slap them in the face (not too hard as to mark) and get right in their face and verbally abuse them, I don't mind to a certain level doing it as that's what they want. I once had a client who wanted me to mostly just spit in his face and mouth for the full hour and keep rubbing it all over, I didn't enjoy it at all so never accepted a booking off him again.


In the few bookings where I'm the sub ( in a roleplay scenario)  I make it clear at the start that spitting in my face, or slapping my face isn't allowed in any way. If anyone spat in my face or slapped my face in any situation I would seriously punch them hard in theirs. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 19 January 2016, 11:28:45 pm
Client today parks outside house and rings to check he is in right place :FF :FF

Sigh... you followed my totally perfect directions to the letter ... yes you are..

Well will I come up to the front door? ( my house is a bungalow, fully fenced off either side)
I replied yes unless you want to scale the 8 ft high fencing, argue with the 3 dobermans on the other side of the fence and try get access thru the locked back door, then yes the front door is usually the best way to come in

muppet

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 19 January 2016, 11:35:00 pm
I once directed a client up to my 5th floor apartment only for him to text me and ask if he should use the lift...I was very tempted to text him back and say 'No make like the milk tray man and scale up the wall.'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 19 January 2016, 11:42:05 pm
Whenever guys ask 'am I free' I'm tempted to answer No I'm very expensive!

In reality they usually get ignored.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 19 January 2016, 11:45:02 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 19 January 2016, 11:42:05 pm
Whenever guys ask 'am I free' I'm tempted to answer No I'm very expensive!

In reality they usually get ignored.


I sometimes reply with 'No I'm never free but I might be available, when did you want to book me for?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 19 January 2016, 11:50:42 pm
Quote from: katrina on 19 January 2016, 11:45:02 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 19 January 2016, 11:42:05 pm
Whenever guys ask 'am I free' I'm tempted to answer No I'm very expensive!

In reality they usually get ignored.

I sometimes reply with 'No I'm never free but I might be available, when did you want to book me for?'

Yes if its on the phone I will try sometimes to pin them down to a date and time and 9/10 guess what they seem strangely unable to commit...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 20 January 2016, 12:01:32 am
Quote from: Jezabel on 19 January 2016, 11:50:42 pm
Quote from: katrina on 19 January 2016, 11:45:02 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 19 January 2016, 11:42:05 pm
Whenever guys ask 'am I free' I'm tempted to answer No I'm very expensive!

In reality they usually get ignored.

I sometimes reply with 'No I'm never free but I might be available, when did you want to book me for?'

Yes if its on the phone I will try sometimes to pin them down to a date and time and 9/10 guess what they seem strangely unable to commit...


Another one bugs me "are you around today" or "are you around this week" or "are you around next week" Its so fucking vague and annoying, I feel like replying with, well I am currently alive and well,  but you never know I might get struck down by lightning, have a heart attack, fall down stairs and be crippled for life any time now, so when exactly did you want to book me,  and for how long?


Also the "What time do you start in a morning" I've said to a few , well it all depends when I get a booking as I can't really start on my own now can I?!! ffs lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 20 January 2016, 09:48:39 am
Quote from: katrina on 20 January 2016, 12:01:32 am

Also the "What time do you start in a morning" I've said to a few , well it all depends when I get a booking as I can't really start on my own now can I?!! ffs lol

Or when do you finish tonight.....thinks whenever the f*** I feel like it!, says sometimes to be as annoyingly vague as them I don't have a set time I finish when I finish.....oh you'll call back then jolly good thinks like hell you will!

They are usually TWs or at best having a ring around.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 20 January 2016, 11:58:31 am
But also the deeeetaiils guys. I get that some ads have limited info but hell my website is on every ad!

Had one like that just now. I don't mind a (very) brief outline of what I do but they are never content with that. So when I asked where did you see me advertised surprise surprise I got on the internet thinks no really that narrows it down, thanks!. Then he asks am I free this morning, well given that its 11.50am, no.....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 January 2016, 12:14:54 pm
Yes I get really fed up with the vague enquiries. Just had one now. 'Are you available today?' replied yes and asked what time he had in mind. 'Well I'm coming from Doncaster so I don't really know...shall I just ring you when I am on the train?'..Whatever.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 January 2016, 03:04:22 pm
Bloke rings asking for an hour in like 20 mins time.He then asks what makes me an expert at oral,what do I do differently to other girls...told him funnily enough I wouldn't know how other girls suck cock but I get told time and again that I am very good at oral in particular.He umms and aahs so I ask him if he wants me to describe how I give a bj,he says yes..er that isn't going to happen..booking declined!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 20 January 2016, 03:20:14 pm
Ugh, mr chit chat timewaster =

Him:

*definitely wanking* What's your dress size? What's your boob size? Do you have kids? I hear some mothers have baggy fannies, are you tight? Do you get very wet? Can I give you the money so you can book a hotel room for me? How much will the hotel room cost? What do I get for ?180? Will you clock-watch?

Me:
Read my profile and get back to me. *saves number as RUDE NOSY TW DON'T ANSWER*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 20 January 2016, 04:03:21 pm
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 20 January 2016, 03:20:14 pm

*saves number as RUDE NOSY TW DON'T ANSWER*

Or as RUDE NOSY TW....NO. 1!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 20 January 2016, 04:07:47 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 20 January 2016, 04:03:21 pm
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 20 January 2016, 03:20:14 pm

*saves number as RUDE NOSY TW DON'T ANSWER*

Or as RUDE NOSY TW....NO. 1!!!

Hahahaha  ;D occupational hazard!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 January 2016, 04:36:43 pm
As soon as the question of Have you got kids was asked the phone would have gone down.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 20 January 2016, 04:42:30 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 20 January 2016, 04:36:43 pm
As soon as the question of Have you got kids was asked the phone would have gone down.

Next time it will, he caught me unawares. Ugh.  Really cross with myself for not just hanging up there and then  :FF no harm done but still 15 minutes of my life i'll never get back lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 20 January 2016, 04:44:26 pm
I would have hung up after the first two. Anything other than "Are you available between this and this time?" is already wasting my time. For everything else there is a description on my profile so they don't need to ask pointless questions. After they take a booking I may take questions related to the booking such as meeting point location and what to do when they arrive.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 20 January 2016, 04:46:34 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 20 January 2016, 04:44:26 pm
I would have hung up after the first two. Anything other than "Are you available between this and this time?" is already wasting my time. For everything else there is a description on my profile so they don't need to ask pointless questions. After they take a booking I may take questions related to the booking such as meeting point location and what to do when they arrive.

You're absolutely right. It's bizarre, I've been reading this forum for months and felt really prepared but when faced with my first wanking-on-the-phone-lets-have-a-chat-TW I was just like a rabbit in the headlights  ;D We live and learn... God what would I do without you guys...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 20 January 2016, 04:51:06 pm
Everybody has to go through it getting the run around from a TW or being cheated out of money the latter actually hasn't happened to me yet and hopefully won't if I keep my wits about me and keep an eye on warnings for descriptions of dodgy clients but It probably is going to happen one day. I've probably posted on this forum before about being messed about by idiots on the phone. Just have to learn what they do and get tough on them. At first I was just too nice being afraid to lose clients but TW's never intended on being a client in the first place just to use you as a free sex line while making fake promises to book you
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 20 January 2016, 05:37:12 pm
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 20 January 2016, 04:46:34 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 20 January 2016, 04:44:26 pm
I would have hung up after the first two. Anything other than "Are you available between this and this time?" is already wasting my time. For everything else there is a description on my profile so they don't need to ask pointless questions. After they take a booking I may take questions related to the booking such as meeting point location and what to do when they arrive.

You're absolutely right. It's bizarre, I've been reading this forum for months and felt really prepared but when faced with my first wanking-on-the-phone-lets-have-a-chat-TW I was just like a rabbit in the headlights  ;D We live and learn... God what would I do without you guys...

I do agree with Trash but I think you are doing just fine Poppy. Even us experienced ladies get caught out sometimes. You will soon find your ruthless edge!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 20 January 2016, 09:13:29 pm
Quote from: katrina on 19 January 2016, 11:21:47 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 19 January 2016, 10:52:33 pm
Quote from: Chanel xxx on 19 January 2016, 10:22:19 pm
I just got this text. I'm so confused? What has this got to do with escorting?

"hi love are you free now? Tell me please is it possible if I spit on your face for 15 min? Nothing else

He wants to spit on your face for 15 mins. It's a sexual service. Some ladies offer this (both ways or one way). He gets off on spitting on ladies' faces.

I occasionally have clients who, (in domination bookings)  want me to spit in their face, open their mouth and spit in it now and again,  slap them in the face (not too hard as to mark) and get right in their face and verbally abuse them, I don't mind to a certain level doing it as that's what they want. I once had a client who wanted me to mostly just spit in his face and mouth for the full hour and keep rubbing it all over, I didn't enjoy it at all so never accepted a booking off him again.


In the few bookings where I'm the sub ( in a roleplay scenario)  I make it clear at the start that spitting in my face, or slapping my face isn't allowed in any way. If anyone spat in my face or slapped my face in any situation I would seriously punch them hard in theirs.
This proves how some are offended by certain requests and some aren't, I would love an hour of spitting at a client and do it often by request. I don't know how you market yourself so I suppose it's a case of not reading profiles? It is a fetish thing x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 20 January 2016, 11:15:02 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 20 January 2016, 09:13:29 pm
Quote from: katrina on 19 January 2016, 11:21:47 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 19 January 2016, 10:52:33 pm
Quote from: Chanel xxx on 19 January 2016, 10:22:19 pm
I just got this text. I'm so confused? What has this got to do with escorting?

"hi love are you free now? Tell me please is it possible if I spit on your face for 15 min? Nothing else

He wants to spit on your face for 15 mins. It's a sexual service. Some ladies offer this (both ways or one way). He gets off on spitting on ladies' faces.

I occasionally have clients who, (in domination bookings)  want me to spit in their face, open their mouth and spit in it now and again,  slap them in the face (not too hard as to mark) and get right in their face and verbally abuse them, I don't mind to a certain level doing it as that's what they want. I once had a client who wanted me to mostly just spit in his face and mouth for the full hour and keep rubbing it all over, I didn't enjoy it at all so never accepted a booking off him again.


In the few bookings where I'm the sub ( in a roleplay scenario)  I make it clear at the start that spitting in my face, or slapping my face isn't allowed in any way. If anyone spat in my face or slapped my face in any situation I would seriously punch them hard in theirs.
This proves how some are offended by certain requests and some aren't, I would love an hour of spitting at a client and do it often by request. I don't know how you market yourself so I suppose it's a case of not reading profiles? It is a fetish thing x

Nia, if you're talking about how I market myself you only have to look at my link :-) As well as the GFE, I do offer various domination and fetish services (this particular guy who wanted me to spit in his face for the full hour was when I first started escorting, I didn't have a profile at that time and I thought why not give it a try) I wasn't 'offended' by it but it did actually quite repulse me so I refused any future bookings from him.


 I do a lot of what *some* people would consider to be 'off limits' or even repulsive to them, such as I'm happy to wee in someone's mouth, make them drink it, happy for spunk on my face but not spit on it, but happy to have them spit on my fanny, tongue up my arse, etc etc,. Each to their own I suppose.     
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 21 January 2016, 12:46:28 am
Hey babe

I'm a gym toned fit and attractive guy,,suited and booted aged 32

I'm going to a meeting near you tomorrow and wondered if you would be happy to see me for a foot fetish meet? 5min foot worship for ?20

Hope so

Jamie x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 21 January 2016, 08:26:46 am
Quote from: katrina on 20 January 2016, 11:15:02 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 20 January 2016, 09:13:29 pm
Quote from: katrina on 19 January 2016, 11:21:47 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 19 January 2016, 10:52:33 pm
Quote from: Chanel xxx on 19 January 2016, 10:22:19 pm
I just got this text. I'm so confused? What has this got to do with escorting?

"hi love are you free now? Tell me please is it possible if I spit on your face for 15 min? Nothing else

He wants to spit on your face for 15 mins. It's a sexual service. Some ladies offer this (both ways or one way). He gets off on spitting on ladies' faces.

I occasionally have clients who, (in domination bookings)  want me to spit in their face, open their mouth and spit in it now and again,  slap them in the face (not too hard as to mark) and get right in their face and verbally abuse them, I don't mind to a certain level doing it as that's what they want. I once had a client who wanted me to mostly just spit in his face and mouth for the full hour and keep rubbing it all over, I didn't enjoy it at all so never accepted a booking off him again.


In the few bookings where I'm the sub ( in a roleplay scenario)  I make it clear at the start that spitting in my face, or slapping my face isn't allowed in any way. If anyone spat in my face or slapped my face in any situation I would seriously punch them hard in theirs.
This proves how some are offended by certain requests and some aren't, I would love an hour of spitting at a client and do it often by request. I don't know how you market yourself so I suppose it's a case of not reading profiles? It is a fetish thing x

Nia, if you're talking about how I market myself you only have to look at my link :-) As well as the GFE, I do offer various domination and fetish services (this particular guy who wanted me to spit in his face for the full hour was when I first started escorting, I didn't have a profile at that time and I thought why not give it a try) I wasn't 'offended' by it but it did actually quite repulse me so I refused any future bookings from him.


 I do a lot of what *some* people would consider to be 'off limits' or even repulsive to them, such as I'm happy to wee in someone's mouth, make them drink it, happy for spunk on my face but not spit on it, but happy to have them spit on my fanny, tongue up my arse, etc etc,. Each to their own I suppose.   
Same as you I do a lot of stuff some would be horrified at! I wouldn't be up for a guy spitting at me though, it is each to their own. The point I was trying to make was that how not to book an escort is different to each of us x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 21 January 2016, 09:27:40 am
Good morning.

Can I first say I've looked at your profile and wow ! You are stunning !!!

I am wondering if you are available tonight  around 7 for a incall or outcall. I'd be looking to either meet you at a cash machine for a outcall where I give you cash in exchange for a sniff of your fingers after they have been in your shoes or rubbed your toes. Or a incall I'd like to just watch you dangle your shoes.

Let me know if you can accommodate and I'll ring you to confirm and make a booking through here also

I'm happy to see foot fetish gents but I didn't beleive for one second he'd actually book via AW  (0 FB) or call.........I've had similar 'requests' but they have always been TWs.  And since I only do incalls or outcalls to actual houses/hotels I'm not gonna meet some random by a cash point even if he was serious........


 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 21 January 2016, 10:45:10 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 21 January 2016, 08:26:46 am

Same as you I do a lot of stuff some would be horrified at! I wouldn't be up for a guy spitting at me though, it is each to their own. The point I was trying to make was that how not to book an escort is different to each of us x


Yes I think you're right, what some people consider rude, others wouldn't bat an eyelid at. A client (who I have seen a few times before) rung me the other week and just said "Hi Katrina, can I come round and shag you for an hour between 1pm and 3pm, whichever time suits you?" I found that to be easy, straight to the point and not offensive in any way. We agreed on 2pm and everything was fine. Sometimes its not what people say, its the way they say it.


I very rarely get 'offended' by whatever guys ring up/email or text to me, I usually ignore and forget it or laugh about it, but once someone emailed asking for a roleplay which involved (a very close relative) and his friends in a forced sex scenario. I was horrified and disgusted that someone could even think that up, I showed it to an escort friend and she couldn't understand why I was so offended and repulsed by his fantasy (she doesn't have any children) . 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 21 January 2016, 11:00:00 am
Quote from: hannah13 on 21 January 2016, 12:46:28 am
Hey babe

I'm a gym toned fit and attractive guy,,suited and booted aged 32

I'm going to a meeting near you tomorrow and wondered if you would be happy to see me for a foot fetish meet? 5min foot worship for ?20

Hope so

Jamie x


I would have been tempted to reply with "Hi, thanks for your message but I really don't care if you look like the hunch back of notre dam, I offer an escort service which means I charge for my time, my prices are set and the minimum booking is *insert price or time* Have a nice day :-) 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 21 January 2016, 12:03:57 pm
Quote from: katrina on 21 January 2016, 11:00:00 am
Quote from: hannah13 on 21 January 2016, 12:46:28 am
Hey babe

I'm a gym toned fit and attractive guy,,suited and booted aged 32

I'm going to a meeting near you tomorrow and wondered if you would be happy to see me for a foot fetish meet? 5min foot worship for ?20

Hope so

Jamie x


I would have been tempted to reply with "Hi, thanks for your message but I really don't care if you look like the hunch back of notre dam, I offer an escort service which means I charge for my time, my prices are set and the minimum booking is *insert price or time* Have a nice day :-)
I have said to these types that as long as your dick doesn't stink and you have the correct money then I have no preference to looks, x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 21 January 2016, 12:25:37 pm
oi whet u bared?

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 21 January 2016, 01:19:41 pm
oh they're out in force today...

email

hi, i'd love to see you, problem is i've never cum with a woman before, think you can do it?

i reply saying that its really up to him, and if he's happy with my services etc, thats what he'd get and i do prode myself in giving a good service

his reply was
well i have ?50, can we come to an arrangement for an hour?

eh naw.. thats less than half my hours rate so blocked and deleted.  urgh!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Disciplinarian on 21 January 2016, 03:52:10 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 20 January 2016, 04:44:26 pm
I would have hung up after the first two. Anything other than "Are you available between this and this time?" is already wasting my time. For everything else there is a description on my profile so they don't need to ask pointless questions.

I envy you, if I took this approach I would be bankrupt.

Playing Devil's advocate for a bit, AW is littered with profiles that have clearly just ticked every box in the "likes" column so to a certain extent I have no problem with a potential client clarifying a few things.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 21 January 2016, 11:20:39 pm
Just had one who wants to put a lollipop up my bum!  :o ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 21 January 2016, 11:30:37 pm
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 21 January 2016, 11:20:39 pm
Just had one who wants to put a lollipop up my bum!  :o ;D


I'd say that all depends what kind of lollipop, if its a chupa chups then no problem but if its one of them big flat ones, not a chance ;-) lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 21 January 2016, 11:50:41 pm
Quote from: katrina on 21 January 2016, 11:30:37 pm
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 21 January 2016, 11:20:39 pm
Just had one who wants to put a lollipop up my bum!  :o ;D


I'd say that all depends what kind of lollipop, if its a chupa chups then no problem but if its one of them big flat ones, not a chance ;-) lol

HA oh god!! I said no because I was terrified the thing would come off inside me and I'd end up having to explain myself in A&E!  Well that's one way to liven up the day I suppose
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 22 January 2016, 12:10:02 am
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 21 January 2016, 11:50:41 pm
Quote from: katrina on 21 January 2016, 11:30:37 pm
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 21 January 2016, 11:20:39 pm
Just had one who wants to put a lollipop up my bum!  :o ;D


I'd say that all depends what kind of lollipop, if its a chupa chups then no problem but if its one of them big flat ones, not a chance ;-) lol

HA oh god!! I said no because I was terrified the thing would come off inside me and I'd end up having to explain myself in A&E!  Well that's one way to liven up the day I suppose


You could always say to him you will let him but only if he lets you do the same to him...lmao picturing the scene haha x


I once let someone put a mars bar in my vagina and he 'ate it out'  oh no it was not a turn on at all, it looked like you know what ! Yuk ;-)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LAC-xox on 22 January 2016, 10:24:33 am
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 21 January 2016, 11:20:39 pm
Just had one who wants to put a lollipop up my bum!  :o ;D

I often see a guy who likes to play with random food objects... I've had everything from lollipops (not the big flat ones!) to bananas to a snickers bar haha, I'm like a walking Tesco!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 22 January 2016, 12:50:22 pm
Pet hate no. 1 guys who can't even be arsed to read the first few line of my profile.....received this email:

1) do you enjoy very deep passionate French kissing with a bit of tongue sucking  2) would you Enjoy a lot of receiving oral

3) would you share a Cuban cigar with me as it is my birthday this week  4) would you travel to warwick to see me

To which I replied Would you read my profile, being in sarky mode.  He then had the cheek to respond:

It's too long and I'm far too busy. Answer my questions or simply delete my email

He's in SW England I way out on the South Coast......so he's clearly just spamming and timewasting.....






Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 22 January 2016, 03:13:34 pm
Quote from: LAC-xox on 22 January 2016, 10:24:33 am
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 21 January 2016, 11:20:39 pm
Just had one who wants to put a lollipop up my bum!  :o ;D

I often see a guy who likes to play with random food objects... I've had everything from lollipops (not the big flat ones!) to bananas to a snickers bar haha, I'm like a walking Tesco!

Lollipops I've done a few times with a regular.  Never had a snickers bar inside me and I hope I never see the day that happens. I had an ex boyfriend who did the banana thing it was just the weirdest sensation ever.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 22 January 2016, 04:02:45 pm
I've had a client stick a mini milk up my bum.... a chocolate one, in the days before hardsports were as mainstream as they are now.... he got off on it all melting... guess he wanted to pretend  ;D


So, got this gem today by text... "Ru34incalltdy1"

Resisted the temptation to inform him that we don't all have Nokias any more; every phone currently in existence now has predictive text, and every human being on the face of the planet has some kind of text plan / bundle meaning that no, you haven't saved yourself a whopping 10p by messaging me solely using consonants.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 22 January 2016, 04:26:00 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 22 January 2016, 03:13:34 pm
Quote from: LAC-xox on 22 January 2016, 10:24:33 am
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 21 January 2016, 11:20:39 pm
Just had one who wants to put a lollipop up my bum!  :o ;D

I often see a guy who likes to play with random food objects... I've had everything from lollipops (not the big flat ones!) to bananas to a snickers bar haha, I'm like a walking Tesco!

Lollipops I've done a few times with a regular.  Never had a snickers bar inside me and I hope I never see the day that happens. I had an ex boyfriend who did the banana thing it was just the weirdest sensation ever.

I know somebody who shoved a mars bar up her coochie for a boyfriend, two days later she had a case of thrush so bad she was walking like john wayne  :o ;D poor girl!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LinaBham on 22 January 2016, 04:34:31 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 22 January 2016, 12:50:22 pm
Pet hate no. 1 guys who can't even be arsed to read the first few line of my profile.....received this email:

1) do you enjoy very deep passionate French kissing with a bit of tongue sucking  2) would you Enjoy a lot of receiving oral

3) would you share a Cuban cigar with me as it is my birthday this week  4) would you travel to warwick to see me

To which I replied Would you read my profile, being in sarky mode.  He then had the cheek to respond:

It's too long and I'm far too busy. Answer my questions or simply delete my email

He's in SW England I way out on the South Coast......so he's clearly just spamming and timewasting.....
Had exactly the same request last year, when I was still new to AW. Don't know if it is same guy - he had positive feedback, made the booking trough AW and some mins before booking time he called me and apologised he is late because of accident in motorway. I had other client coming straight after him, said him that politely even offered him 30mins booking if he comes late, but he started to call me every 5 mins in a row! He never showed. Finally I got the idea that he is tw. Despite that he was still texting me on aw....I blocked him after he asked me to book hotel room in Coventry for an outcall lol
Now I am quite experienced with spotting tws. Mostly of long emails with lots of questions or details are just wanking fantasists. ( As most of us know it )
But still can't understand where they get positive feedbacks from!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 23 January 2016, 12:42:36 am
Yes I had someone similar and he also replied with something along the lines of 'Too many profiles and too busy to read'.I replies with 'You clearly aren't fussy about who you see nor are you committed enough then for me to believe you are genuine therefore why should I bother answering your arrogant sounding emails?'
And blocked!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 23 January 2016, 08:49:54 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 23 January 2016, 12:42:36 am
Yes I had someone similar and he also replied with something along the lines of 'Too many profiles and too busy to read'.I replies with 'You clearly aren't fussy about who you see nor are you committed enough then for me to believe you are genuine therefore why should I bother answering your arrogant sounding emails?'
And blocked!
[/

I like your reply to him. Trouble is, in relation to arrogant bastards like that, anything you say to them is like water off a duck's back. I truly hate men like that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foxy roxy on 23 January 2016, 10:28:43 pm
'Answer my questions or delete my emails' is an easy one. Bye bye and delete. he's messaged me before I think i said something along the lines of, no problem, BYE! I shouldnt even have given him the courtesy or that short response.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 25 January 2016, 01:30:19 am
I forgot to remove my number off AW this weekend :'( I usually don't forget. I'll have to set an alarm to remind me next time. I am so upset. Not only did I waste ?2.40 but I switched on my phone to "Baby, I want to eat your pussy and you to suck my cock then fuck you silly"- I was going to respond with "ewww no thanks but checked that the message was sent like two days ago so no point. I am thinking it's either a) They send that to purposely wind you up b) they want to get a reaction or c) the escorts they usually book accept a booking from them communicating like that so they think it's ok or d) They are just retarded. me thinks it's D.
" I found your number on AW,where are you based?" (location is just under the number, no?) AW is so easy to use as all the important bits are in a specific section so not like you have to scroll through or read through a novel to find, age, rates or location.  it's either a) They do that to wind you up or b) They are retarded. Me thinks B.and "don't think I am wasting your time but wanted to say, seeing your pretty face online is so good, you are sexy blah blah" (I don't even show my face though) I am just tempted to delete messages without reading them now like Just close my eyes and delete not like I accept bookings via text anyway, they are always ignored. sigh, So this is what I get for forgetting to remove my number.  :-[
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: carachameleon on 25 January 2016, 05:38:33 am
I haven't had a funny one like this in awhile.... hope it makes you chuckle this Monday morning. It would be great if anyone can think of a suitable reply  ;D ;D ;D

Dear Cara

It is my friend's 30th birthday and I would like you to pose for him in an 'endorsement' photograph for his birthday.

Would you be interested in doing this? Scope of work would be:

1. I will send you a Coca Cola bottle with his name on it
2. You will pose for 4 promotional glamour photographs with the Coke bottle in four different clothes/styles, you will use your own makeup and clothes for the photos and arrange to have them taken yourself - they can without your face. They just have to be suggestive but elegant/decent.
3. You will arrange to have the photographs filtered/photoshop so that you are satisfied with your look
4. You will email me the 4 photographs in high resolution and the job is complete!
5. The 4 photographs you send cannot be posted to your instagram or any public web forum by you. They are for our use only.

Please let me know your terms/fees and we can then make arrangements.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 25 January 2016, 08:47:19 am
just turned my phone on and 5 minutes later a call comes through from a bloke barely able to string a sentence together, sounding really drunk and asking if i'm from an area, to be fair, only a few miles from where i am.

his opener "hiya you an escort aye?"  followed by some unintelligible garbled bollocks.   asked him to repeat and i simply can't make him out.  i used to be fluent in drunkenese, but no idea what he was trying to ask.
hung up after saying i wouldn't be able to take his booking
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 25 January 2016, 12:46:49 pm
Quote from: carachameleon on 25 January 2016, 05:38:33 am
I haven't had a funny one like this in awhile.... hope it makes you chuckle this Monday morning. It would be great if anyone can think of a suitable reply  ;D ;D ;D

Dear Cara

It is my friend's 30th birthday and I would like you to pose for him in an 'endorsement' photograph for his birthday.

Would you be interested in doing this? Scope of work would be:

1. I will send you a Coca Cola bottle with his name on it
2. You will pose for 4 promotional glamour photographs with the Coke bottle in four different clothes/styles, you will use your own makeup and clothes for the photos and arrange to have them taken yourself - they can without your face. They just have to be suggestive but elegant/decent.
3. You will arrange to have the photographs filtered/photoshop so that you are satisfied with your look
4. You will email me the 4 photographs in high resolution and the job is complete!
5. The 4 photographs you send cannot be posted to your instagram or any public web forum by you. They are for our use only.

Please let me know your terms/fees and we can then make arrangements.

"Sure, that will be ?500 up front - but I must warn you that as the photographer retains the copyright to the images, I cannot agree to the exclusive use you are requiring. Also you would need to sign a contract to agree that this is non-commercial and for private one-off use only."

Or something like that, with lots of professional model jargon in it. Plus pick your own price  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 25 January 2016, 08:21:41 pm
Have literally just had this phone conversation, whilst tiddling about on SAAFE.

HIM: Hello is this Adultwork?
ME: Sorry, who did you want to speak to?
HIM: I want to speak to Adultwork please. Is that you?
ME: Noooo... although I do advertise there. If you can tell me what my name is, I'll be happy to talk to you? (Chancing that he means well and is someone that has bothered to read my profile - yes I KNOW but it's the last week in January and I'm entertaining all options)
HIM: Adultwork?
ME: Click
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Disciplinarian on 26 January 2016, 10:06:53 am
Text this morning...

"ive always fantsisted about being spanked in a publc place. can we meet ina shopping centre and u can spank me in the cafe?"

I replied...

"I take it the concept of discretion is lost on you."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 26 January 2016, 01:42:39 pm
HAd a right one this morning.

I work from home and have never had anybody show up random and out of the blue until today.

A guy discreetly knocked on the door iinitially stating he has cleaned my windows in the past (that was his front) then asked what could I offer him and he had seen me in the past.  I realise he meant in my role as an escort but was so shocked he had just arrived out of the blue like that I gave him short shrift and said there is no reason he has lost my details I am easy to find online. 

Think he was probably just working in the area and had a free morning or something.  I must admit he did look awfully smart and acted nice and polite but I wasn't going to hand out my details or see him 'on the spot' just like that.

I can't recall if I have met him in the past possibly I have.

Anyway I can't have people showing up at the door unannounced I mean really!

I think it would have been better if he had put a note under the door with his name and mobile on it.  That way I could at least mentally prepare myself for a booking .....!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 26 January 2016, 04:51:29 pm
I never work Tuesdays and today I've been bombarded by complete idiots. To a potentially dangerous stalker, that I've made a thread about in warnings and wasters, to complete idiot callers and texters. Here's a new convo that will not get him a booking (although I'm sure he's just wanting wank fodder)

Him: hi sexy where based? Xxx
Me: *reluctantly gives area*
him: what's your profile name again?
Him: plz
Me: *ignored for five minutes then for some reason gave benefit of doubt cause I'm not as busy as usual*
Him: okay cool. What you do in half an hour?
Me: *now I know he's wasting my time, but I'm bored so I reply* the same as an hour service in 30 minutes.
Him: kissing? Xx
Him: do you? X
Me: *knowing he won't call* please call for a booking. Everything you need to know is on the profile.
Him: ok Hun. Be tonight so check u again sxy xx
Him: hi owo that cim x

-.- Tuesday's are literally wank, and now I know why I never work them. Although have just had a lovely threesome. I'm bi and haven't been with a woman for a while, so has perked me up for the day :).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 26 January 2016, 08:02:20 pm
Call from previous visitor at 9am this morning asking if I'm free. I say no, I start at 10am. Then I advise I'm available 10am until 8pm.

He's been calling me out of hours for weeks now and despite receiving an out of office text with my website address he clearly either doesn't check it for my availability or does and ignores it.

Then he calls back at 10 to 8. I didn't answer and if he carries on he's going on my block list!

Edit...15 calls from him in 90 minutes. So very blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 26 January 2016, 10:04:39 pm
Quote from: Lushblossom on 26 January 2016, 01:42:39 pm
HAd a right one this morning.

I work from home and have never had anybody show up random and out of the blue until today.

Lushblossom, you must remember if you have seen him before! haha if not, and he is a random man...where did he come from!!??? x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 27 January 2016, 12:34:51 am
Quote from: Shewolf on 01 January 2016, 08:55:54 pm
Quote:'Please forgive me asking and do not think I am being rude or offensive in asking whether you would compassionately reduce you in-call fee for 2 hours as being on a limited pension,my available income is very limited.I would show my appreciation in ensuring our time together is memorable'.

Oh well...that's OK then, as long as it's memorable, who cares about how much he gives me??

 ::)

The last thing I want from a booking is to remember anything about it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 27 January 2016, 12:36:38 am
Quote from: Shewolf on 01 January 2016, 09:14:58 pm
AND THERE'S MORE:

'I am an exceptionally clean gentleman who has never had any form of STD's as I have not been promiscuous during my marriage. I hope we can freely express our passion and enjoy sex naturally'

Not only a reduction but bareback too, nonetheless!

But he puts it all so eloquently!

hahahahahahaha what a bugger  ;D

"I'm glad to hear that you're so health conscious. I, on the other hand, have sex with hundreds of strangers a year, all of whom swear on stacks of Bibles that they're very health conscious. "
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 27 January 2016, 08:03:09 am
Shewolf it was a bit worrying as initially I thought he might have been a neighbour who had clocked on.  That is why I don't do many bookings so as to remain discreet i.e. say one a day tops.

Anyway he was very clean looking can't say I recall him but who knows over the past 3 years must have seen hundreds by now lol.

Did he honestly think I could just suddenly take work on the spot like that as if I am in a walk in parlour hurrumph!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 27 January 2016, 10:04:21 am
Quote from: Lushblossom on 27 January 2016, 08:03:09 am
Shewolf it was a bit worrying as initially I thought he might have been a neighbour who had clocked on.  That is why I don't do many bookings so as to remain discreet i.e. say one a day tops.

Anyway he was very clean looking can't say I recall him but who knows over the past 3 years must have seen hundreds by now lol.

Did he honestly think I could just suddenly take work on the spot like that as if I am in a walk in parlour hurrumph!
Another reason could be his mate who has seen you and been indiscreet and told him where you are.I've had similar happen to me before.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 27 January 2016, 10:59:40 am
Just received this text.
"We are two horny older guys looking for safe sex".
I don't offer threesomes.
I replied.
"Well make sure you always use a condom"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 27 January 2016, 12:39:03 pm
Ha ha ha Carnal that really is funny!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 27 January 2016, 12:49:08 pm
hi are you free today?

yes, i have availability... how long are you looking for and what time?

(eternity passes.. well about half an hour)

oh, well i dunno as i have to work so can't commit to a time.. maybe not today then?

aaaaaaaand delete
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 27 January 2016, 02:26:48 pm
Don't you just feel the urge to ask why they bothered to get in touch?!?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 27 January 2016, 02:48:45 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 27 January 2016, 02:26:48 pm
Don't you just feel the urge to ask why they bothered to get in touch?!?

Yeh cos he's a k.n.o.b.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 27 January 2016, 03:56:50 pm
Not really the client's fault, but still a bit of a "nope" situation that hopefully fits here.

Setting up an outcall for the evening. I receive the flat's address. Not only was it my street, but the building next to ours (I'm in 28a, he is in 30c). I've politely excused myself by claiming I got called in to my other job. >.>
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 27 January 2016, 04:08:27 pm
Quote from: The_Lynx on 27 January 2016, 03:56:50 pm
Not really the client's fault, but still a bit of a "nope" situation that hopefully fits here.

Setting up an outcall for the evening. I receive the flat's address. Not only was it my street, but the building next to ours (I'm in 28a, he is in 30c). I've politely excused myself by claiming I got called in to my other job. >.>

Haha, classic. If only he knew
xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 27 January 2016, 06:12:29 pm
Quote from: The_Lynx on 27 January 2016, 03:56:50 pm
Not really the client's fault, but still a bit of a "nope" situation that hopefully fits here.

Setting up an outcall for the evening. I receive the flat's address. Not only was it my street, but the building next to ours (I'm in 28a, he is in 30c). I've politely excused myself by claiming I got called in to my other job. >.>

I had a guy get in touch who turned out to live in the flat across the hallway from my boyfriend. Luckily I spotted it before accepting the booking. I've bumped into him several tymes before and since and just smiled a secret smile. He won't ever know!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 27 January 2016, 07:52:30 pm
my neighbour is a regular lol  always handy when i need a cat sitter
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 27 January 2016, 09:03:02 pm
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 27 January 2016, 07:52:30 pm
my neighbour is a regular lol  always handy when i need a cat sitter

Seriously? That close to home? You have more balls than me. Lol

X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 27 January 2016, 10:50:36 pm
Text from a guy asking if I am around tonight.Told him I had just finished for the day but was around until 9pm tomorrow and to call me tomorrow if he wanted to book.
Red flag number 1 and 2 :Texted back asking to see me at lunchtime and asking if its incalls or outcalls and how much (persisting with enquiry despite being told I had finished for the evening and seemingly not read my ad)
Told him rates etc in ad.
To which he told me he only had a quick look and then proceedes to tell me how he had a stunning girlfriend and shouldn't be doing this etc.
Replied with that I wouldn't be meeting him as he wasn't committed enough to actually know anything about me before contacting and I don't feel comfortable with clients telling me about their private life for absolutely no reason like he did.Yuck can't stand the ones who feel the need to tell you about their partners and who make out they shouldn't do this or don't need to but hey ho 'I'm such a lad'..sod off!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 28 January 2016, 12:17:17 am
A text just now reading:

"Pavilion. End? 6pm?"

... ???

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sienna92 on 28 January 2016, 12:24:56 pm
Had a guy call me earlier and he was whispering down the phone.. I told him to speak up cos couldn't hear him... He says sorry my wife is upstairs...
He tells me that he is calling off a landline and could I give him my address. I said to him that I can give my post code out but he will have to call me when he is outside on my road if he wants a booking and I would then give him the door number ... He says ahh right ok could u not give me the full address  :FF. (The whispering has now stopped  ::)) .... I hung up and then realised he wasn't even calling me off a landline it was a mobile number the fantasist twat
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 28 January 2016, 06:31:20 pm
This is a historic "how not to book" post..... but I'm having a New Year cull on my work phone which reminded me of this one!!

Did anyone else use to get "Amazonian Man" who wanted an Amazonian (i.e. strong and tall) girl to pretend to be unconscious? And then he would pop her over his shoulder and walk around with her just hanging limply there, taking her temperature rectally with his thermometer?

This must have been 2-3 years ago.

xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 28 January 2016, 06:37:35 pm
Text from an idiot.
Do u do online sex?
No
Ok where are you based?
(Sigh Leeds like it says on my ad.
Sorry you were recommended to me :)I can't do Leeds unless u r very impressive.I usually just do online sex.
And block.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 28 January 2016, 06:53:41 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 28 January 2016, 06:37:35 pm
Text from an idiot.
Do u do online sex?
No
Ok where are you based?
(Sigh Leeds like it says on my ad.
Sorry you were recommended to me :)I can't do Leeds unless u r very impressive.I usually just do online sex.
And block.

unless you are impressive. What a prick
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 28 January 2016, 10:04:37 pm
Quote from: sienna92 on 28 January 2016, 12:24:56 pm
Had a guy call me earlier and he was whispering down the phone.. I told him to speak up cos couldn't hear him... He says sorry my wife is upstairs...
He tells me that he is calling off a landline and could I give him my address. I said to him that I can give my post code out but he will have to call me when he is outside on my road if he wants a booking and I would then give him the door number ... He says ahh right ok could u not give me the full address  :FF. (The whispering has now stopped  ::)) .... I hung up and then realised he wasn't even calling me off a landline it was a mobile number the fantasist twat

lol you lot give these men more time than I do. Soon as I heard the whispering I would have hung up lool.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 29 January 2016, 02:14:01 pm
11 withheld calls and 5 texts in just over an hour. The last text saying you've seen me before so if you answer you'll know who I am. (Why not just tell me who it is?)

Replied telling him I may have seen him before but I have no idea who he is and so many calls and texts in an hour is not an appropiate way to make a booking so I'm afraid I can't see him.

Cue countless texts alternating between apologising, please give me a chance, do I like ignoring my customers, he just wants to see me. Repeat that I wont be seeing him for the reasons I already stated please stop texting me. And cue waking up to 3 more telling me he shouldn't have called/text so many times, why didn't I just say I was busy, he looks like the bad guy now and it isn't fair.

Maybe I didn't respond immediately because I was...busy? And the last three texts all sent within 8 minutes.

Eerrrmm.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Disciplinarian on 29 January 2016, 02:24:52 pm
Moron: "Do you take it up the arse?"

Me: "No, but I spank yours, how does that sound?"

Moron: "I really want to do u up the arse. I have lube and Im big"

Me: Laughing while blocking
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 29 January 2016, 05:07:51 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 29 January 2016, 02:14:01 pm
11 withheld calls and 5 texts in just over an hour. The last text saying you've seen me before so if you answer you'll know who I am. (Why not just tell me who it is?)

Scarey to think you've actually got down and personal with this person haha! Or maybe he is bullshitting on that one...x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 29 January 2016, 06:04:55 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 29 January 2016, 05:07:51 pm

Scarey to think you've actually got down and personal with this person haha! Or maybe he is bullshitting on that one...x

I have a slight idea who it is and if I'm correct I banned him after over 70 calls and 30 texts in 90 minutes once.  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: _Rebecca_xxx on 29 January 2016, 07:51:27 pm
Me (answering phone): hello?
Bellend: hi, which one are you?
... Phone down and block

How do these dicks ever get a booking?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 29 January 2016, 07:55:38 pm
A while ago I had a guy call me and talk to me in...Russian. He calls and starts talking so I reply in English, he keeps talking in Russian, I try French, he keeps his Russian. So I hang up he calls back and there I was in the middle of the street yelling to him "I don't bloody gavariche so speak English please"

Sorry I got no idea how "gavariche" spells.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 29 January 2016, 07:57:45 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 25 January 2016, 08:47:19 am
just turned my phone on and 5 minutes later a call comes through from a bloke barely able to string a sentence together, sounding really drunk and asking if i'm from an area, to be fair, only a few miles from where i am.

his opener "hiya you an escort aye?"  followed by some unintelligible garbled bollocks.   asked him to repeat and i simply can't make him out.  i used to be fluent in drunkenese, but no idea what he was trying to ask.
hung up after saying i wouldn't be able to take his booking

Aye Captain:)))
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 29 January 2016, 08:53:30 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 29 January 2016, 07:55:38 pm
A while ago I had a guy call me and talk to me in...Russian. He calls and starts talking so I reply in English, he keeps talking in Russian, I try French, he keeps his Russian. So I hang up he calls back and there I was in the middle of the street yelling to him "I don't bloody gavariche so speak English please"

Sorry I got no idea how "gavariche" spells.

Haha I know a little Russian so would've been ok unless he spoke very fast. Damm wish I had a cyrillic keyboard now so I could show how it was spelt!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 30 January 2016, 03:39:30 pm
This one.
My phone rings.
I pick up saying hello.
The moron hangs up.
3 seconds later the moron sends me a text message. Which is empty... Ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 30 January 2016, 06:23:29 pm
Oh I just remembered this one!

Last week I'm on the phone with a (seemingly) normal older client.
Who informs me this will be his *first* ever visit to an escort.
We confirm the day, the hour. Then he says " ok let's make it 1.5 hour but just to make sure you won't be clock watching all the time, the WG I saw last month was checking the time every five seconds"...



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 30 January 2016, 06:36:04 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 30 January 2016, 06:23:29 pm
Oh I just remembered this one!

Last week I'm on the phone with a (seemingly) normal older client.
Who informs me this will be his *first* ever visit to an escort.
We confirm the day, the hour. Then he says " ok let's make it 1.5 hour but just to make sure you won't be clock watching all the time, the WG I saw last month was checking the time every five seconds"...

Hahaha! Busted!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 31 January 2016, 09:11:34 am
[it is 12am. I am still awake for some reason. Phone beeps]

him: u free
Him: want outcall

Me: sorry I'm not working tonight.

Him: can't u make an exception
Him: iv got cash

[an hour passes]

Him: whore

Who, me?? Never!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 31 January 2016, 11:55:28 am
Call up sounding exactly like my recently ex-boyfriend. Making me freak out, take my profile down and lose two days of work after paying for a room for two days.

Eventually found out it wasn't my ex. Just a guy who sounded exactly like him over the phone  :FF. the poor guy must think I'm a right fruit loop.

X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Linzi Dawn on 31 January 2016, 03:32:23 pm
any of you girls received this email?



Afternoon...

Just rejoined AW. I was on here a while back, but have been a good boy ;) Looking for some fun before I get married and would ideally preferably an ongoing sugar baby relationship in London and with a few trips away. English, handsome (no pics on here in case the wifey sees, but I can send some pics),

Not wanting to sound arrogant or full of it, but I am pretty confident I am one of the better looking gents on here. I work very hard and have been reasonably successful from it, but hopefully a lot more to come in my career and business. Work hard, play harder....

First meet; a few hrs, fun, games and fucking and we can discuss an ongoing sugar baby thing if we click. I can be very generous if you are the right baby for me (i.e. naughty, fun, like a drink, a laugh, champagne and getting naked). My last "relationship" on a similar site was ?3000 a month, but it varied up and down depending on how often we met. My last baby was just over a year and prefer something longer, but casual. We met in nice hotels in London, sunny weekends away and no pressure fun times....

Would need to be unprotected so I need assurances and proof that you are clean and tested as I have a wifey to be.....I am very clean and in a relationship. I have recent results from Harley St. You would also not be able to sleep with anyone else unprotected during our ?relationship?.

I'm not into lots and lots of emails as busy with work so if this is of interest would rather meet sooner rather than later and get on with life...

Fun, games, champagne and nakedness? What will it take to get you out for a party.....?

xx

Ps. I have been told I am hot. If you saw me in a bar you might ;) Check put my pics and feedback....
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 31 January 2016, 03:36:32 pm
Wow what an OFFER! A freebie bareback meet and then he MIGHT bestow his company upon you again.  What are you waiting for?????

 :FF ::) ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 31 January 2016, 06:14:12 pm
Quote from: Linzi Dawn on 31 January 2016, 03:32:23 pm
any of you girls received this email?



Afternoon...

Just rejoined AW. I was on here a while back, but have been a good boy ;) Looking for some fun before I get married and would ideally preferably an ongoing sugar baby relationship in London and with a few trips away. English, handsome (no pics on here in case the wifey sees, but I can send some pics),

Not wanting to sound arrogant or full of it, but I am pretty confident I am one of the better looking gents on here. I work very hard and have been reasonably successful from it, but hopefully a lot more to come in my career and business. Work hard, play harder....

First meet; a few hrs, fun, games and fucking and we can discuss an ongoing sugar baby thing if we click. I can be very generous if you are the right baby for me (i.e. naughty, fun, like a drink, a laugh, champagne and getting naked). My last "relationship" on a similar site was ?3000 a month, but it varied up and down depending on how often we met. My last baby was just over a year and prefer something longer, but casual. We met in nice hotels in London, sunny weekends away and no pressure fun times....

Would need to be unprotected so I need assurances and proof that you are clean and tested as I have a wifey to be.....I am very clean and in a relationship. I have recent results from Harley St. You would also not be able to sleep with anyone else unprotected during our ?relationship?.

I'm not into lots and lots of emails as busy with work so if this is of interest would rather meet sooner rather than later and get on with life...

Fun, games, champagne and nakedness? What will it take to get you out for a party.....?

xx

Ps. I have been told I am hot. If you saw me in a bar you might ;) Check put my pics and feedback....

I had him! But quite a while ago...
Crap he must be really picky if he's still looking:))))
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 31 January 2016, 08:56:49 pm
Quote from: Linzi Dawn on 31 January 2016, 03:32:23 pm
I can be very generous if you are the right baby for me...
This just sounds creepy to me, like he's actually referring to a baby.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 31 January 2016, 09:39:47 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 31 January 2016, 08:56:49 pm
Quote from: Linzi Dawn on 31 January 2016, 03:32:23 pm
I can be very generous if you are the right baby for me...
This just sounds creepy to me, like he's actually referring to a baby.

The way I understand it is "don't be surprised if I'm not generous enough, it's simply because I can get a "better" baby"

Why on earth would anyone want to be his baby?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 31 January 2016, 10:30:28 pm
I would have to reply that 'arrogance makes a man hideously ugly and 'wifey' must be off her head'.

Something along those lines  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 01 February 2016, 10:41:45 am
Caller starts with, "Are you open today," then proceeds to haggle my rate. I say, "No, bye," and hang up. Then he sends a text saying we got off on the wrong start, he will pay be asked rate, can we talk. Nope, too late! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 01 February 2016, 01:05:35 pm
Having woken up in a vile mood after a few nights  not sleeping much due to heavy winds...  not improved by the following.

Phone rings I answer and he immediately hangs up.... Followed by a text asking for taboo play which I make it clear I don't do  on my website etcetera.

Email from the States. I think he's asking for an appointment in August no it turns out he's using the US date format.  But strangely he seems to think that if I happen to be in London for other reasons ( yeah I think I just nip down there for a coffee only takes 2 hours) I would then see him i.e he doesn't want to pay outcall rates!

Call from a foreign mobile turned out to be an Aussie, so laid back brings a new meaning to the word horizontal.  After an excruciating conversation full of long pauses mainly because he can't seem to comprehend that I need a date and time, and after claiming to have read my website asks for details I give up, say get back to me when you have looked in your calendar.... To which he replied yes and I'm going read your website as well!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 01 February 2016, 06:21:14 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 01 February 2016, 10:41:45 am
Caller starts with, "Are you open today," then proceeds to haggle my rate. I say, "No, bye," and hang up. Then he sends a text saying we got off on the wrong start, he will pay be asked rate, can we talk. Nope, too late!

"Hi Hun what time do you close?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 02 February 2016, 05:39:42 pm
Persistent caller that I'm ignoring on purpose then text "Fucking ring me!"  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 02 February 2016, 05:59:06 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 02 February 2016, 05:39:42 pm
Persistent caller that I'm ignoring on purpose then text "Fucking ring me!"  :o

I bet you really want to call him now.  ::)

"hey any chance of a quick bj for ?20? x"


It amuses me they add "quick" every.single.time. Doesn't matter how quick the bj is, you're still going to pay my advertised rate!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 02 February 2016, 06:00:37 pm
Him:Hi Bibi I'm bisexual sex Richard xx
Me:Um thanks for sharing that with me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 02 February 2016, 06:12:00 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 02 February 2016, 05:59:06 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 02 February 2016, 05:39:42 pm
Persistent caller that I'm ignoring on purpose then text "Fucking ring me!"  :o

I bet you really want to call him now.  ::)

"hey any chance of a quick bj for ?20? x"


It amuses me they add "quick" every.single.time. Doesn't matter how quick the bj is, you're still going to pay my advertised rate!
This made me laugh! When they say they want a quick anything that means they think they can give you a tenner! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 02 February 2016, 06:21:55 pm
hi, i'm X

*long list of requests including uniforms or dressing slutty, mad insane (quote) bj and a few services not offered on my profile*


i reply, asking how long he was looking for, what time and let him know i can dress slutty (incall) but don't have uniforms.

his reply was fine, but something just made me think TW.  asked him to make a booking on the AW forms, and i would then message him the address, and ask him to call when in the car park so i could direct him to the flat.

as expected, no reponse.

nothing much on cam either other than the "show yer arse" brigade  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 02 February 2016, 06:51:35 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 02 February 2016, 05:59:06 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 02 February 2016, 05:39:42 pm
Persistent caller that I'm ignoring on purpose then text "Fucking ring me!"  :o

I bet you really want to call him now.  ::)

"hey any chance of a quick bj for ?20? x"


It amuses me they add "quick" every.single.time. Doesn't matter how quick the bj is, you're still going to pay my advertised rate!

What amuses me even more is how "quick" it really IS sometimes:))))

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 02 February 2016, 06:52:42 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 02 February 2016, 05:39:42 pm
Persistent caller that I'm ignoring on purpose then text "Fucking ring me!"  :o

LMAO!!!! Quite a charm this one!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 02 February 2016, 06:59:00 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 02 February 2016, 06:52:42 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 02 February 2016, 05:39:42 pm
Persistent caller that I'm ignoring on purpose then text "Fucking ring me!"  :o

LMAO!!!! Quite a charm this one!
I'm in a foul mood today anyway, text him back "Phone you?" He called back I answered just to get it out my system, he said "What are your prices?"  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 02 February 2016, 08:02:22 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 02 February 2016, 06:59:00 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 02 February 2016, 06:52:42 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 02 February 2016, 05:39:42 pm
Persistent caller that I'm ignoring on purpose then text "Fucking ring me!"  :o

LMAO!!!! Quite a charm this one!
I'm in a foul mood today anyway, text him back "Phone you?" He called back I answered just to get it out my system, he said "What are your prices?"  :FF

Let me guess, he's your first booking for tomorrow right?! Hahaha
It's Saint Moron today:)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 02 February 2016, 08:06:26 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 02 February 2016, 08:02:22 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 02 February 2016, 06:59:00 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 02 February 2016, 06:52:42 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 02 February 2016, 05:39:42 pm
Persistent caller that I'm ignoring on purpose then text "Fucking ring me!"  :o

LMAO!!!! Quite a charm this one!
I'm in a foul mood today anyway, text him back "Phone you?" He called back I answered just to get it out my system, he said "What are your prices?"  :FF

Let me guess, he's your first booking for tomorrow right?! Hahaha
It's Saint Moron today:)
Oh yes I jumped at the opportunity! I think Tuesdays should be an official holiday for prostitutes, it never fails to be a day of idiots for me x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 02 February 2016, 08:11:44 pm
Its funny cos it used to traditionally be wanker wednesdays for me.However the last 2 Mondays have been Moron Mondays.Always found Tuesdays ok.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 02 February 2016, 08:13:50 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 02 February 2016, 08:06:26 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 02 February 2016, 08:02:22 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 02 February 2016, 06:59:00 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 02 February 2016, 06:52:42 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 02 February 2016, 05:39:42 pm
Persistent caller that I'm ignoring on purpose then text "Fucking ring me!"  :o

LMAO!!!! Quite a charm this one!
I'm in a foul mood today anyway, text him back "Phone you?" He called back I answered just to get it out my system, he said "What are your prices?"  :FF

Let me guess, he's your first booking for tomorrow right?! Hahaha
It's Saint Moron today:)
Oh yes I jumped at the opportunity! I think Tuesdays should be an official holiday for prostitutes, it never fails to be a day of idiots for me x

Well I just missed quite an opportunity myself.
A moron called me calling me by a different name, you can tell by the voice when they do it on purpose, not by mistake. I say I'm afraid he's got the wrong number and suddenly the darling remembers *my* name and wants now, immediately, he lives nearby.

Yeah. Sure. Ciao.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 02 February 2016, 08:17:20 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 02 February 2016, 08:11:44 pm
Its funny cos it used to traditionally be wanker wednesdays for me.However the last 2 Mondays have been Moron Mondays.Always found Tuesdays ok.
Yes used to be moron Monday and that passed, then wanker Wednesday for a bit, for a while it was waster week! But no it's defiantly officially now tosser Tuesday x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 02 February 2016, 08:18:13 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 02 February 2016, 08:11:44 pm
Its funny cos it used to traditionally be wanker wednesdays for me.However the last 2 Mondays have been Moron Mondays.Always found Tuesdays ok.

I would normally say Wednesday too however there's something in the air, an increasingly high percentage of moron-isity in the atmosphere coming down towards the British Isles, the winds are blowing strong and the pollution is high...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 02 February 2016, 08:22:54 pm
Lol I just had the same thing!He rang and asked if he could speak to Tara.Told him he had the wrong number and put the phone down.He rang back and asked 'Are you the escort?' I replied 'Excuse me?I have a name'..'Oh is that bibi (pronounced it byebye?!?).I said it is certainly bye bye from me..you rang and asked if I was Tara a minute ago how disrespectful!'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 02 February 2016, 08:27:02 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 02 February 2016, 08:18:13 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 02 February 2016, 08:11:44 pm
Its funny cos it used to traditionally be wanker wednesdays for me.However the last 2 Mondays have been Moron Mondays.Always found Tuesdays ok.

I would normally say Wednesday too however there's something in the air, an increasingly high percentage of moron-isity in the atmosphere coming down towards the British Isles, the winds are blowing strong and the pollution is high...
Batton down the hatches and send out a national warning now! Moronisity is rife in the British Isles! Moronisity is the best word I've heard for ages Aqua, I'm laughing out loud as the saying goes  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 02 February 2016, 09:20:56 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 02 February 2016, 08:27:02 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 02 February 2016, 08:18:13 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 02 February 2016, 08:11:44 pm
Its funny cos it used to traditionally be wanker wednesdays for me.However the last 2 Mondays have been Moron Mondays.Always found Tuesdays ok.

I would normally say Wednesday too however there's something in the air, an increasingly high percentage of moron-isity in the atmosphere coming down towards the British Isles, the winds are blowing strong and the pollution is high...
Batton down the hatches and send out a national warning now! Moronisity is rife in the British Isles! Moronisity is the best word I've heard for ages Aqua, I'm laughing out loud as the saying goes  ;D

We're lucky:) We still have each other while the wind is blowing:))))

Stop peeing Nia unless you got a watersports special:)))
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 02 February 2016, 09:31:56 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 02 February 2016, 09:20:56 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 02 February 2016, 08:27:02 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 02 February 2016, 08:18:13 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 02 February 2016, 08:11:44 pm
Its funny cos it used to traditionally be wanker wednesdays for me.However the last 2 Mondays have been Moron Mondays.Always found Tuesdays ok.

I would normally say Wednesday too however there's something in the air, an increasingly high percentage of moron-isity in the atmosphere coming down towards the British Isles, the winds are blowing strong and the pollution is high...
Batton down the hatches and send out a national warning now! Moronisity is rife in the British Isles! Moronisity is the best word I've heard for ages Aqua, I'm laughing out loud as the saying goes  ;D

We're lucky:) We still have each other while the wind is blowing:))))

Stop peeing Nia unless you got a watersports special:)))
I NEVER pee unless I'm getting paid x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 03 February 2016, 05:47:40 pm
Hi there!

I went to loughborough uni to study physiotherapy and have just returned from Australia. I need volunteers to try reflexology (basically a foot massage) and would like to offer this to you for free? I really need the feedback and practice which would help me a lot. There is already feedback on my page :)

Please do let me know if it is something that would appeal for you? I'm happy to answer any questions you may have.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Thanks! :-) x

P.s. apologies if I've previously messaged you


Wow what an offer.  Yes, foot-fetishist, you can have my time for free and of COURSE I don't mind that you've copy pasted this and sent it to so many hookers you've lost track  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 03 February 2016, 06:10:38 pm
Hello there, would it be possible for us to do a passionate and sensual nappy exchange?"

Ummmmm.
  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 03 February 2016, 07:00:08 pm
txt recieved
" do fany doing business?""


 :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 03 February 2016, 07:11:38 pm
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 03 February 2016, 07:00:08 pm
txt recieved
" do fany doing business?""


 :FF :FF

I'm voting for this one to be our Official Number One!!!!!

Hahaha!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 03 February 2016, 07:18:18 pm
A guy who considers himself as my regular (I saw him twice in one year ffs!) sends me a text. A veeeeryyy loooong text.

The way it goes is more or less: he may be in my area tonight or tomorrow evening, can't tell yet for sure, but suppose he is in my area would I be available for a booking say somewhere between 4pm and 10pm. It'll be really short notice and not to worry he remembers where I live so if I could just let him know if I'm available.

Errrr. Available precisely  WHEN, you moron?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MandyVine on 03 February 2016, 09:47:15 pm
Aqua, those are the kinds of texts that have me scratching my head and wondering how the H they actually function enough to make it through the day...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 04 February 2016, 09:31:47 am
Woke up to a lovely email this morning:

'Hi there, are you willing to receive vaginal fisting for a lot of donation?'

A lot of donation? I don't do vaginal fisting for my normal rate, let alone 'a lot of donation'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 04 February 2016, 10:17:28 am
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 03 February 2016, 07:18:18 pm
A guy who considers himself as my regular (I saw him twice in one year ffs!) sends me a text. A veeeeryyy loooong text.

The way it goes is more or less: he may be in my area tonight or tomorrow evening, can't tell yet for sure, but suppose he is in my area would I be available for a booking say somewhere between 4pm and 10pm. It'll be really short notice and not to worry he remembers where I live so if I could just let him know if I'm available.

Errrr. Available precisely  WHEN, you moron?


They do make you laugh don't they, does he really expect you to hang around in your stockings and suspenders half the afternoon and ALL your evening not only once but twice!! For fuck sake what planet are these type of guys on?!!


The super long texts really grate on me, we really don't need to know their whole schedule for the day/week, all we need is a day/time/duration of booking, its really quite simple, I don't understand why they behave like this!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 04 February 2016, 11:34:21 am
"Hi Nova, I would be interested to get in touch but couldn't find a phone number. Could you let me know how to get in touch
thx "

Um... there's this thing called email. In fact... YOU'RE USING IT RIGHT NOW!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 04 February 2016, 01:53:01 pm
When they call and you can hear their mates in the background...guaranteed instant hang up!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 04 February 2016, 04:29:08 pm
Quote from: Nova on 04 February 2016, 11:34:21 am
"Hi Nova, I would be interested to get in touch but couldn't find a phone number. Could you let me know how to get in touch
thx "

Um... there's this thing called email. In fact... YOU'RE USING IT RIGHT NOW!

I get that SO much. Or them just mailing me their phone number. Seems some can't comprehend that we use email as a primary means of communication.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 04 February 2016, 04:56:53 pm
Quote from: The_Lynx on 04 February 2016, 04:29:08 pm
Quote from: Nova on 04 February 2016, 11:34:21 am
"Hi Nova, I would be interested to get in touch but couldn't find a phone number. Could you let me know how to get in touch
thx "

Um... there's this thing called email. In fact... YOU'RE USING IT RIGHT NOW!

I get that SO much. Or them just mailing me their phone number. Seems some can't comprehend that we use email as a primary  means of communication.

Reminds me of that old pretentious f*** who emailed me last year. I replied to his first very friendly email and then I got this "if you want my booking then call me"
Hahahaha  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 05 February 2016, 07:51:11 am
Yesterday a guy from AW sent me an email literally saying in it only 'Massage?'.

That was the only word not even a proper sentence!

I did not deign it with a reply.  Silly fool and he was 66 too you would think he would have learnt manners go a long way by now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 05 February 2016, 12:38:45 pm
from 3am until 4am I have 10 missed calls from one guy. Then a text saying '130 if you available'.  Great. Thanks...  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 05 February 2016, 02:43:37 pm
Text when I switched on my phone this morning...

Yo wen u open?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 05 February 2016, 03:06:33 pm
Quote from: Kendra Glasgow on 09 December 2015, 11:34:50 am
My friend just sent me a screen shot of a text she just received.......

Hi I'm Peter could you sell me to a Chinese takeaway and keep the money you get for me please?

WTF? Lol just when you think you've heard it all.

I just got a variant of this message:

"Hi silly question but could you sell me to a Chinese takeaway please?"

Yes it is a silly question!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 05 February 2016, 04:23:09 pm
Guy calls me.  Asks about ten basic questions that could be answered with the briefest of profile scan-reads.  I was bored so I entertained it.  After he asks the questions he informs me that he really hates condoms and doesn't want to use them, I interrupt him and said sorry I can't see you then.  And he's all "no no let me finish, I don't want to go bareback, I just want to rub it between your legs and ejaculate there.'

I was like erm... *click*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 05 February 2016, 07:10:29 pm
Had a a couple of emails from a guy who talks about how it's his sons birthday coming up and he'd like to hire an escort to take his virginity he'll be 25 and hasn't been with a girl yet blah blah asks me if I can do it. I'm sort of entertaining the idea even if it's odd he seems willing to pay me for an hour to go take his sons virginity and it's not like it's the first virgin client I've had. Anyway I try to get him to tell his son to call me and he insists he wants it to be a surprise etc because if he knows he'll back out of it or something so I ask him to call me to talk about details as a phone confirmation.

Anyways long story short the phone conversation is where things get really weird and he starts asking if I'd charge extra for him to watch me take his sons virginity then comes up with "How much for both of us at the same time?" At this point I wondered why I even entertained the idea in the first place. Was probably fapping on the other end of the phone.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissFlint on 06 February 2016, 01:25:00 am
Quote from: mature helen on 08 January 2016, 03:44:33 pm
How I work is with new clients if they want to book 4 hours in advance say they call me at 12 for a 4 o clock booking I'd ask them where will they be travelling from, this way I can gauge how long it will take them to reach me, if they say for example they are coming from the city centre (that's about 30 mins away) I'd say OK call me when you're ready to set off at 3.30pm and I will give you my postcode, when they arrive ( and I can see them) they call me again for my door number.

Working  this way means...
1. If they do call back they are more likely to be genuine.
2. They are more likely to turn up.
3. I have half hour to get ready.

No phone call at 3.30 means theres no booking = No running round putting on slap and susses for a no show.

Won't work for everyone but it certainly works for me.

That does sound like a good idea and I'd like to do the same but if I get a booking in between it means I might not be able to answer the phone when they call so I ask them to text when they're on their way. I still get some no shows but I'm sure I'm eliminating some.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 06 February 2016, 11:28:25 pm
Long story cut short, basically exchanged a couple of texts with a potential 'client' who 'liked my profile, was very interested in passionate kissing, owo, and wanted to book'.  I asked him to be more specific with day and time as I don't live at the place where I do incalls so only do evenings and weekends if booked in advance. He replied with 'not sure hoping to clear up an hour for some 'ME' time at the weekend, and never even looked to see if you were available'  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 07 February 2016, 12:59:10 am
Just got a request for a two hour 'rewarding' car meet. Now. at 1am.

Two hour car meet.

Two. hour. car. meet.

Firstly I don't even offer car meets.  And secondly, how on earth would one fill ~two hours~ in a car? I can't think of anything less rewarding than being squashed into somebody's Nissan Micra for two sodding hours at silly o'clock in the morning.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 07 February 2016, 02:11:46 am
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 07 February 2016, 12:59:10 am
Just got a request for a two hour 'rewarding' car meet. Now. at 1am.

Two hour car meet.

Two. hour. car. meet.

Firstly I don't even offer car meets.  And secondly, how on earth would one fill ~two hours~ in a car? I can't think of anything less rewarding than being squashed into somebody's Nissan Micra for two sodding hours at silly o'clock in the morning.

30 mins is pretty much the only duration I will do in that setting. Dude probably doesn't know how cramped up he'd be. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 07 February 2016, 11:05:24 am
What does "rewarding meet" mean anyway? Lol Some of these guys think the "reward" is them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 07 February 2016, 11:07:39 am
Quote from: The_Lynx on 07 February 2016, 02:11:46 am
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 07 February 2016, 12:59:10 am
Just got a request for a two hour 'rewarding' car meet. Now. at 1am.

Two hour car meet.

Two. hour. car. meet.

Firstly I don't even offer car meets.  And secondly, how on earth would one fill ~two hours~ in a car? I can't think of anything less rewarding than being squashed into somebody's Nissan Micra for two sodding hours at silly o'clock in the morning.

30 mins is pretty much the only duration I will do in that setting. Dude probably doesn't know how cramped up he'd be. ;D

Hahahaha yes! He was actually very polite to be fair to him, I just think perhaps he was thinking with the brain downstairs rather than the one upstairs  ;D ::)

Quote from: TrashAzn on 07 February 2016, 11:05:24 am
What does "rewarding meet" mean anyway? Lol Some of these guys think the "reward" is them.

hahaha i know right  ;D wanted to say it'll be rewarding for you pal i'm sure but best not speculate as to how rewarding it would be for me, two hours in a car is bad enough on its own let alone whilst trying to be a 'rewarding' contortionist  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 07 February 2016, 11:38:07 am
I'm sick to death of men who call, talk about a booking in some depth - discussing a time, my rough location, etc - and THEN asking me what my rates are. They always say "Oh, that's fine" and then say something about getting back to me just as soon as they've checked their diary or whatever. I never hear from them again.

My rates are utterly ordinary for my area. In fact, quite a few ladies charge slightly more.

What are they fucking playing at?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Suz on 07 February 2016, 11:53:35 am
I find the more questions they ask the less likely they are to turn up!
I hate the calls that start ' alright babe' ( I hate being called Babe!)  How much dya charge?'
I had a guy yesterday that inundated me with calls and texts ,booked an hr then didn't show up!  :FF

There's one guy who's been texting me every day for the last few months. He usually 1bells the phone then 10 texts follow. I don't respond to texts ,so he's never ever had any response from me . I just find it a bit odd  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 07 February 2016, 11:54:44 am
They are probably hoping that you will be so bowled over by their personality (false charm) over the phone that you will reduce your rate just for them.

First letter begins with K.

:) XX
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 07 February 2016, 01:29:21 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 07 February 2016, 11:05:24 am
What does "rewarding meet" mean anyway? Lol Some of these guys think the "reward" is them.

or the sex  ::) HA
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 07 February 2016, 02:57:44 pm
Had an email through AW last night asking if I could pick him from a railway station miles from where I live for a car meet as he's pretty sure I offer this service...only 4 things wrong with this.
1. I don't drive,
2. I don't do outcalls
3. I don't do car meets.
4. I don't like he didn't take 2 minutes to read my short profile and likes list.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 07 February 2016, 03:28:16 pm
Just checked AW and I have another gem of an email asking if I would entertain two young guys in their mid twenties for some "spit roasting" and "tag" fun. Totally not my thing I don't do young guys or see two guys at once. Sometimes I Have to hold myself from replying READ MY F~CKING PROFILE YOU KNOB!!! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 08 February 2016, 02:15:58 pm
Hi, I'm an Italian guy, I have an office job but I've been into the adult industry as published actor (you can see the video (link) model, webcammer and escort. I'm also a swinger and I attend parties. I'm looking for a new partner for collaborations, working together as couple, and/or webcam sessions together and or taking pictures and videos to sell on adultwork. Would you be interested?
I'm not a time waster, I'm serious, reliable, healthy, and professional.
I hope to find a partner I can trust and that can trust me, a friend that is willing to enlarge her business
Please let me know and I'm sorry If I've offended you
Thanks
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MandyVine on 08 February 2016, 03:08:48 pm
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 07 February 2016, 12:59:10 am
Just got a request for a two hour 'rewarding' car meet. Now. at 1am.

Two hour car meet.

Two. hour. car. meet.

Firstly I don't even offer car meets.  And secondly, how on earth would one fill ~two hours~ in a car? I can't think of anything less rewarding than being squashed into somebody's Nissan Micra for two sodding hours at silly o'clock in the morning.

I had a regular push me for a car session.  When we talked it through he explained that it was partly "reliving his youth" and partly the "risk of getting caught." 

I think I can read him pretty well and he was quite animated giving the second answer. It seems that the risk of getting caught having public sex excites some while personally it's something I strive to avoid.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 08 February 2016, 03:21:39 pm
The amount of people asking for a "quick" bj for stupid prices recently has gone sky high.

So when I got "hey how much for quick oral?" I couldn't resist replying with the same as a long oral.

 ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 08 February 2016, 04:11:38 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 08 February 2016, 03:21:39 pm
The amount of people asking for a "quick" bj for stupid prices recently has gone sky high.

So when I got "hey how much for quick oral?" I couldn't resist replying with the same as a long oral.

 ;)

It's so bad. I've said so many things to them along the lines of,"sure my bf gives a good bj but for that price he would want to shit in your mouth too" ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fancypants on 08 February 2016, 05:10:00 pm

Received this email

Quote
Hiya..I am a nice guy with my own business working internationally and lots of eclectic interests. I enjoy to meet occasionally with intelligent girls who I may equally meet in a work environment or on my travels.

 As I'm usually in charge in my professional life I like to explore a little power exchange, and in that respect I'm looking for someone who would enjoy a girl friend experience but who would also like to take a little more control. I enjoy the contrast between public and private persona:

 I enjoy to share a drink and chat in my hotel bar before having a sophisticated lady ask me if I will pleasure her bottom with my tongue and allow her to do watersports in my mouth; If the chemistry is right I'd let you do hardsports in my mouth too...that is just an amazing experience for both. I know this idea does intrigue some women... I wondered if you may be interested.... perhaps get back to me
  :-X  :FF

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 08 February 2016, 08:11:27 pm
Quote from: fancypants on 08 February 2016, 05:10:00 pm

Received this email

Quote
Hiya..I am a nice guy with my own business working internationally and lots of eclectic interests. I enjoy to meet occasionally with intelligent girls who I may equally meet in a work environment or on my travels.

 As I'm usually in charge in my professional life I like to explore a little power exchange, and in that respect I'm looking for someone who would enjoy a girl friend experience but who would also like to take a little more control. I enjoy the contrast between public and private persona:

 I enjoy to share a drink and chat in my hotel bar before having a sophisticated lady ask me if I will pleasure her bottom with my tongue and allow her to do watersports in my mouth; If the chemistry is right I'd let you do hardsports in my mouth too...that is just an amazing experience for both. I know this idea does intrigue some women... I wondered if you may be interested.... perhaps get back to me
  :-X  :FF
Oh I  would love to shit in their mouth, only thing that stops me doing it is the fact that they will enjoy it ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 08 February 2016, 08:25:35 pm
Quote from: Jessica201 on 08 February 2016, 08:11:27 pm

Oh I  would love to shit in their mouth, only thing that stops me doing it is the fact that they will enjoy it ::)


Another escort that I know used to charge a minimum of an extra ?70 for it, apparently its a very sought after thing and some clients will pay loads for this...I do wee in their mouths if they ask but just couldn't do poo for any amount of money.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fancypants on 08 February 2016, 08:48:38 pm
Quote
Oh I  would love to shit in their mouth, only thing that stops me doing it is the fact that they will enjoy it
lol ..I wouldn't want to get on your bad side

Quote
Another escort that I know used to charge a minimum of an extra ?70 for it, apparently its a very sought after thing and some clients will pay loads for this...I do wee in their mouths if they ask but just couldn't do poo for any amount of money.

I know there's a large market for it but I dont understand the attraction. I think about shit all day but just not in that way.

Is it a form of humiliation?

I myself provide a service which most girls I've met, escort/civvies find quite disgusting. But when I explain it to them they understand why I like it. I'll see what shit I can find on Google ........ I need to get to the bottom of this...excuse the bum..pun.  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 08 February 2016, 09:07:31 pm
Dickhead wasted half an hour of my time this morning almost making me late for a booking.  It was only at the very end of the call that it became apparent that he was wanking and trying to get free phone sex, and not that he was just a rambly, precise guy. Grrrrrrr.  Kept banging on. and on. and on. and on.  Then at the end it suddenly became reeeeeeeally obvious that his dick was in his hand. Clearly my wanker radar needs tweaking.  How long til I get better at spotting these douchebags??

I am a grumpy hooker today.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 09 February 2016, 08:24:55 am
Poppy, I wouldn't stay on the phone for more than five minutes with anyone but I've had guys draw me in and then I realise they're wanking.

While I always advocate just getting off the phone asap and not giving them any extra energy one guy got under my skin and when I realised that he'd suckered me into five minutes of my life I sabotaged him by saying something really awful (I'm not going to share it here - it was repulsive) designed to put a ghastly image in his mind. He just fell silent and went "Um... what?" "How's the hard-on now?" Then I hung up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 09 February 2016, 08:27:06 am
Quote from: Fabulassie on 09 February 2016, 08:24:55 am
Poppy, I wouldn't stay on the phone for more than five minutes with anyone but I've had guys draw me in and then I realise they're wanking.

While I always advocate just getting off the phone asap and not giving them any extra energy one guy got under my skin and when I realised that he'd suckered me into five minutes of my life I sabotaged him by saying something really awful (I'm not going to share it here - it was repulsive) designed to put a ghastly image in his mind. He just fell silent and went "Um... what?" "How's the hard-on now?" Then I hung up.

That's amazing 😂  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roxy666 on 09 February 2016, 09:51:52 am
I'm not a morning person, so dealing with timewasters with my morning coffee is not exactly my favourite past time lol.

Loser : can I see you.

Me : hello, what time and for how long?

Loser : soon as possible and for as long as you let me

*light bulb switches on in my morning troll head*

Me : how long would you like a booking for and at what time?

Chancer : now? You want to let me fuck you for free? No charge?

Me : hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa!

        No.

Chancer : why not?

Me : I run a business, not a charity lmfao

Chancer : I can warm you up..

Me : no thanks, the central heating is doing a perfectly good job at that already.

Chancer : lol ok..

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 09 February 2016, 11:57:22 am
Quote from: Fabulassie on 09 February 2016, 08:24:55 am
Poppy, I wouldn't stay on the phone for more than five minutes with anyone but I've had guys draw me in and then I realise they're wanking.

Agree 5 minutes is more than enough to arrange a booking in, day/time/duration is all that's needed. Even a few dress requests or whatever can be done in that time.


I've just had a guy ring, he's in my phone as 'young couple', asking for an outcall tonight as he and his wife travelling up from London today and it will take them 4 and a half hours (as if I need to know that!) I said I'm not available tonight anyway but I could do tomorrow night. He starts asking what I'm into, I say have you seen my website it has all my details, he says no he 'hasn't had time'!! I suggest he looks at it, he then says his girlfriends 3 and a half months pregnant, at this point I'm about to end the call anyway then he says will I do fisting on her, I say no and end the call. I can't think of much worse than that, I really hope he was just a fantasist :-(   
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 09 February 2016, 12:09:21 pm
Quote from: fancypants on 08 February 2016, 08:48:38 pm
Quote

I know there's a large market for it but I dont understand the attraction. I think about shit all day but just not in that way.

Is it a form of humiliation?

I myself provide a service which most girls I've met, escort/civvies find quite disgusting. But when I explain it to them they understand why I like it. I'll see what shit I can find on Google ........ I need to get to the bottom of this...excuse the bum..pun.  :)


Yes its the ultimate humiliation and degradation to be pooed in the mouth, vile but true. Each to their own but the thought makes me shudder!!


Fancypants, I'm intrigued as to what service you provide that other people find 'disgusting' and why you like it :-)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 09 February 2016, 12:22:14 pm
Quote from: katrina on 09 February 2016, 11:57:22 am
Quote from: Fabulassie on 09 February 2016, 08:24:55 am
Poppy, I wouldn't stay on the phone for more than five minutes with anyone but I've had guys draw me in and then I realise they're wanking.

Agree 5 minutes is more than enough to arrange a booking in, day/time/duration is all that's needed. Even a few dress requests or whatever can be done in that time.

Ditto.

@Poppy it really isn't rude if they start drivelling on to refer them to your AW/website or even say you will text them the basics. Listen carefully to their voice I've had guys get all breathy on me within a couple of minutes. Yeuch....that's a goodbye then!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fancypants on 09 February 2016, 01:03:49 pm
Quote
Yes its the ultimate humiliation and degradation to be pooed in the mouth, vile but true. Each to their own but the thought makes me shudder!!

You would think after watching that Italian film Salo I would be well clued up on this stuff!

Thanks for the explanation. I couldn't even imagine taking a dump on my enemy let alone for love or money.

My grandmothers favourite saying when I was a child was " Stay away from the shit when you play outside otherwise It will make you blind!" ...just for the record I never played with shit, she said this to every kid who played outside.  :)

Fancypants, I'm intrigued as to what service you provide that other people find 'disgusting' and why you like it :-)

I'll pm you  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fancypants on 09 February 2016, 01:06:22 pm
Quote
Yes its the ultimate humiliation and degradation to be pooed in the mouth, vile but true. Each to their own but the thought makes me shudder!!

You would think after watching that Italian film Salo I would be well clued up on this stuff!

Thanks for the explanation. I couldn't even imagine taking a dump on my enemy let alone for love or money.

My grandmothers favourite saying when I was a child was " Stay away from the shit when you play outside otherwise It will make you blind!" ...just for the record I never played with shit, she said this to every kid who played outside.  :)

Quote
Fancypants, I'm intrigued as to what service you provide that other people find 'disgusting' and why you like it :-)

I'll pm you  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tinkerbell on 09 February 2016, 03:25:58 pm
'I wanna stick my bare cock up your arse' some lovely man told me by message this morning. Now I do anal, but of course not bareback, so I started typing a message asking why on earth he thinks I would let him do bareback anal. But midway through typing I just deleted through lack of energy to even communicate with a clown like that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fancypants on 09 February 2016, 03:29:21 pm
Quote
I wanna stick my bare cock up your arse' some lovely man told me by message this morning. Now I do anal, but of course not bareback, so I started typing a message asking why on earth he thinks I would let him do bareback anal. But midway through typing I just deleted through lack of energy to even communicate with a clown like that.

That's exactly what I do. Start typing a response and then half way through think " fuck it", just a waste of energy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 09 February 2016, 05:54:54 pm
hello? x

repied: hello

what are your prices?

reply:  all pictures, rates and services are listed on my profile.  have you read it?

aye but are you any good?  just got ripped off by a wee shit in *** (a mile from my place)

aaaaaaaaaand blocked
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 09 February 2016, 10:00:48 pm
This twat has been pestering me for a booking for 4 days.  Every time he messages he asks for an evening or weekend booking and every time I tell him I don't work evenings or weekends. If I ignore the text he calls. A few times. I need to upgrade my phone to something with a blocker.

So anyway today he texts AGAIN asking for an evening appointment. I tell him AGAIN that I have already told him I don't work evenings.  And he says-

"well, us men work during the day, so you should be available in the evening.  let me know when you can see me"

It took all my strength and professionalism not to reply with "well, us hookers have lives away from shagging ugly, rude men.  let me know when you're less of a dickhead."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 09 February 2016, 11:50:11 pm
phonecall from a rather breathy young sounding chap speaking rather quickly.  wanting to know if i can do an overnight with him and his GF.  i am not bi, doesn't state on my profile i'll see couples and i also state i can only really travel for around half an hour as i use public transport.  this guy was more than 50 miles from my location.

asked to speak to the girlfriend as i said i would make my decision after having discussed it with her.  surprise surprise she was "too shy to come to the phone".  yeah?  but wouldn't be too shy to get naked with a strange hooker and party on down?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tinkerbell on 10 February 2016, 03:05:23 pm
Another cracker this morning:

Him- Do u suck cock?
Me- of course I do, that's my job
Him- can I try before I buy
Me- that's not how it works
Him- I'll leave it then.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 10 February 2016, 03:12:16 pm
Now there is thick...and there is thick.

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 10 February 2016, 04:55:31 pm
I just had a polite one on the phone up until the point he tried to haggle. I polity didn't accept his low price. But then after he said well they are cheaper in England. So I calmly said to go over to England then. He then said no need to be like that. Even in a calm polite tone they still moan. If I can't afford my nails I'm not going to phone them asking to lower their price. We escorts are not at auction here.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 10 February 2016, 06:31:22 pm
Quote from: Tinkerbell on 10 February 2016, 03:05:23 pm
Another cracker this morning:

Him- Do u suck cock?
Me- of course I do, that's my job
Him- can I try before I buy
Me- that's not how it works
Him- I'll leave it then.

why oh why do you give them the time? That phone would have been put down and number blacklisted soon as I heard "do you suck cock?" come on, no genuine client makes a booking like that. These fools
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 10 February 2016, 08:01:27 pm
Got an email that just said "u like?" containing a photo of a man who looked a lot like Ned Flanders with the most purple cock I have seen in my life. Most things I'll just delete and forget about them but once in a while something arrives into my inbox that just leaves me speechless.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 10 February 2016, 08:07:26 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 10 February 2016, 08:01:27 pm
Got an email that just said "u like?" containing a photo of a man who looked a lot like Ned Flanders with the most purple cock I have seen in my life. Most things I'll just delete and forget about them but once in a while something arrives into my inbox that just leaves me speechless.

Stupid unsexy Flanders? ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 10 February 2016, 08:09:20 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 10 February 2016, 08:01:27 pm
Got an email that just said "u like?" containing a photo of a man who looked a lot like Ned Flanders with the most purple cock I have seen in my life. Most things I'll just delete and forget about them but once in a while something arrives into my inbox that just leaves me speechless.

Ned Flanders hahaha hilarious. Wonder why his cock is purple. Grim or what. Text him back and ask him how Bart is.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 10 February 2016, 09:03:23 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 10 February 2016, 08:09:20 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 10 February 2016, 08:01:27 pm
Got an email that just said "u like?" containing a photo of a man who looked a lot like Ned Flanders with the most purple cock I have seen in my life. Most things I'll just delete and forget about them but once in a while something arrives into my inbox that just leaves me speechless.

Ned Flanders hahaha hilarious. Wonder why his cock is purple. Grim or what. Text him back and ask him how Bart is.

I was tempted to reply "No diddly" but ended up deleting it after the trauma. I worry why it was that colour maybe he put too many elastic bands on it or something. I don't want to know what he has been doing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 10 February 2016, 09:08:55 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 10 February 2016, 09:03:23 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 10 February 2016, 08:09:20 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 10 February 2016, 08:01:27 pm
Got an email that just said "u like?" containing a photo of a man who looked a lot like Ned Flanders with the most purple cock I have seen in my life. Most things I'll just delete and forget about them but once in a while something arrives into my inbox that just leaves me speechless.

Ned Flanders hahaha hilarious. Wonder why his cock is purple. Grim or what. Text him back and ask him how Bart is.

I was tempted to reply "No diddly" but ended up deleting it after the trauma. I worry why it was that colour maybe he put too many elastic bands on it or something. I don't want to know what he has been doing.

Oh God your reply there gave me such a laugh! Thank you, cheered me up x :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tinkerbell on 10 February 2016, 10:34:30 pm
Quote from: Jessica201 on 10 February 2016, 06:31:22 pm
Quote from: Tinkerbell on 10 February 2016, 03:05:23 pm
Another cracker this morning:

Him- Do u suck cock?
Me- of course I do, that's my job
Him- can I try before I buy
Me- that's not how it works
Him- I'll leave it then.

why oh why do you give them the time? That phone would have been put down and number blacklisted soon as I heard "do you suck cock?" come on, no genuine client makes a booking like that. These fools
As I posted yesterday I normally start replying then delete it through lack of energy. Was clearly having a slow morning today.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 10 February 2016, 11:20:28 pm
OK, I give up and need help translating this text. I can only assume that they think I'm James Herriot and Daisy is his prime heifer?  ???

"Could u meet to qweeze daisy she bloaty."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 11 February 2016, 08:28:49 am
Quote from: KayHerts on 10 February 2016, 11:20:28 pm
OK, I give up and need help translating this text. I can only assume that they think I'm James Herriot and Daisy is his prime heifer?  ???

"Could u meet to qweeze daisy she bloaty."

This made my morning, thanks. XD
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 11 February 2016, 05:49:31 pm
I am in the vilest mood possible. Mega stressed due to health concerns. Feel unable to answer calls and  when I do I get morons.

Thinking I let my nasty mood affect things I gave one guy another chance thinking maybe I've blocked him unjustly. But no after a text when I remind him I need an hours notice he texts back saying 'but are you available now'

Arrrrrgh!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 11 February 2016, 07:11:29 pm
text asking if i was available so i say yes, how long, when, read profile etc...

comes back asking for an hour at 8.  no problem, usual other questions from me to screen

then i get "you like a line?"  so i reply no and he replies saying he wanted a party girl.

thats absolutely fine, but he had read my profile as was able to answer questions about it, but oviously missed the bit where i  say i don't take drugs and i'll not as a rule even drink when working  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 11 February 2016, 07:13:30 pm
text last night:

"outcall now?" :FF :FF :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 11 February 2016, 07:19:45 pm
some people just have no manner aqua
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 11 February 2016, 08:45:38 pm

Have you ever fancied a swingers club? I'm only 26 and can't find anyone to go with! X
 

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 11 February 2016, 09:52:56 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 11 February 2016, 07:13:30 pm
text last night:

"outcall now?" :FF :FF :FF

i.e you are less than an animal to me so I will refrain from using human niceties with you.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 12 February 2016, 12:58:56 am
txt :" do you fancy skyping or facetiming"

me: no
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 12 February 2016, 03:35:10 am
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 12 February 2016, 12:58:56 am
txt :" do you fancy skyping or facetiming"

me: no

This always really gets me - why on EARTH do they think we would be interested?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 12 February 2016, 08:42:28 am
This made me chuckle last night, I'm guessing English isn't his 1st language;

"Hi Emma, I Carl how u i looking for a mega special women for a afternoon evening and poss nite if possible for fingers toys objects and willing to pay extra if u can get legs up behind head nice proper and i have own gyno chair too for kinky sessions."

He wants an acrobat who's willing to shove anything up her twat, any takers? It will be Mega & proper  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 12 February 2016, 09:06:27 am
Quote from: Emma_C on 12 February 2016, 08:42:28 am
This made me chuckle last night, I'm guessing English isn't his 1st language;

"Hi Emma, I Carl how u i looking for a mega special women for a afternoon evening and poss nite if possible for fingers toys objects and willing to pay extra if u can get legs up behind head nice proper and i have own gyno chair too for kinky sessions."

He wants an acrobat who's willing to shove anything up her twat, any takers? It will be Mega & proper  :P

This really cracked me up. But then I remembered this really creepy guy in my area also called Carl, who I've actually spoken to but who has since sent occasional texts.

He goes on and on about gynecological toys and the bottom line is he actually   wants you to go out with him for a meal with  a catheter inserted.....

He is english but speaks in rather an odd way. Hopefully just a fantasist and not the same guy that contacted you!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 12 February 2016, 11:03:00 am
Quote from: Jezabel on 12 February 2016, 09:06:27 am
the bottom line is he actually   wants you to go out with him for a meal with  a catheter inserted.....


That actually made me wince just thinking about it   :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 12 February 2016, 03:12:30 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 11 February 2016, 09:52:56 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 11 February 2016, 07:13:30 pm
text last night:

"outcall now?" :FF :FF :FF

i.e you are less than an animal to me so I will refrain from using human niceties with you.

I had better. This morning when I woke up I saw on my phone this text:

"Now?"

Hahahaha. Are their fingers freezing or what????
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 12 February 2016, 03:28:00 pm
I am just about ready to explode. I have been really struggling to answer the phone anyway for personal reasons. Then when I do answer I get every kind of moron idiot time waster and cheap skate.

The last one was the limit. He rang up pretended to be cut off believe me I know when it's deliberate.  Then texted asking about 15 minutes which I don't do. This was clear from a text that I'd already sent quoting rates. Then he tried to make out he would have paid for the hour  but could only stay for 15 minutes which was a blatant lie.

I blocked him but he was still trying to text back. He just didn't like the fact I'd caught him out. Annoyingly every now and then a blocked text comes through and one of his did saying that he was surprised  at my attitude!!!!!

I don't normally indulge in text exchanges  like this. Since this is the result if you encounter an annoying #%&! like this!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 12 February 2016, 03:33:35 pm
"deepthroat my cock til u gag? x"

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 12 February 2016, 03:55:15 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 11 February 2016, 07:13:30 pm
text last night:

"outcall now?" :FF :FF :FF

He probably doesn't know English well. Had one message "Outcall?" i responded "You daft?" He then called me back and was struggling to form a sentence. Can't remember where he said he was from. Now whenever I get daft texts I assume they are mentally retarded or just can't speak english so I don't get as irritated as before. Better than thinking they are just being plain rude cuz that makes me mad. Poor things. I feel sorry for them sometimes.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 12 February 2016, 03:58:43 pm
Had a call today with someone who started straight off by gushing about how great my site was, how good I looked etc. Then he asked about my services and prices... So I asked the obvious and he said he'd had trouble accessing my site. Then carried on asking age, location and so on. FFS! Last but not least he checked that I was "completely smooth"; one of my USPs is having natural pubic hair. I said so and he said I must at least trim it? Nope. He said he'd call me back.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 12 February 2016, 03:59:56 pm
Oh man I hate calls like that where they pretend to  have looked at your website  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 12 February 2016, 04:00:14 pm
Text exchange

Idiot: hi, do you have any availability tomorrow pm or am and could we simulate anal?
Me: hi, I have between # and # available. Please call if you'd like a booking but I'm not sure what you mean by 'simulating' anal.
Idiot: I didn't see anal on your enjoys list, that's all. I'm 35 yo, white British so happy to pump your bum?
Idiot: to be honest I'm happy with the gfe if it includes sex
Idiot: I can call. Instead of sex can I just watch you cum? I don't want to risk my health!

BLOCKED

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 12 February 2016, 04:27:36 pm
Bellend: Are you on x
Me: Sorry, I think you have the wrong person.
Bellend: adore amy
Me: Yes, but 'on' what?
Bellend: are you available x
Me: No, sorry.
Bellend: When?
Me: Never, sorry.
Bellend: an hour session good shag then you suck me off x
Me: Wow. How could I refuse?
Bellend: ?
Me: *block*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 12 February 2016, 05:39:08 pm
Me:  hello there how can I help.
Moron: mumble mumble I saw you online.
Me: yes how can I help.
Moron: well when are you mumble mumble.
Me: Can you repeat that please
Moron...more mumbling
Me: I'm sorry I can't make out what your saying

I swear to God it sounded like he said 'when are you dealing!'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 13 February 2016, 10:08:30 am
Quote from: Roxy101 on 12 February 2016, 04:00:14 pm
Text exchange

Idiot: hi, do you have any availability tomorrow pm or am and could we simulate anal?
Me: hi, I have between # and # available. Please call if you'd like a booking but I'm not sure what you mean by 'simulating' anal.
Idiot: I didn't see anal on your enjoys list, that's all. I'm 35 yo, white British so happy to pump your bum?
Idiot: to be honest I'm happy with the gfe if it includes sex
Idiot: I can call. Instead of sex can I just watch you cum? I don't want to risk my health!

BLOCKED

 ::)

Oh my god!! So gross  :-X

Quote from: amy on 12 February 2016, 04:27:36 pm
Bellend: Are you on x
Me: Sorry, I think you have the wrong person.
Bellend: adore amy
Me: Yes, but 'on' what?
Bellend: are you available x
Me: No, sorry.
Bellend: When?
Me: Never, sorry.
Bellend: an hour session good shag then you suck me off x
Me: Wow. How could I refuse?
Bellend: ?
Me: *block*

"Never, sorry". Perfect  ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 13 February 2016, 10:11:06 am
I took my phone number off adultwork for a few days, put it back on again last night and was reminded very quickly as to why I decided to have a break!

"bb are you free?" (1am)
"hey sexy can we meet up now?" (3:45am)
"I need a girl can u deliver" (6:30am)

Thankfully my phone is always on silent overnight.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 13 February 2016, 01:06:49 pm
Text received at 3.58am:

Want to meet up? Sheffield lad


Another from someone in my phone as 'idiot outcall timewaster' at 10.58pm: Can you come to Chesterfield now? X


Another idiot sends text Wednesday "U available" (ignored) then he sends same text 2 days later "U available" I reply "Please call" He doesn't then he sends another one at 10pm that night "U available"


He's obviously either blind, can't read or just plain dumb  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 13 February 2016, 05:50:22 pm
Two emails today

First one-Hi hope you are well, my name is Marcus and I've just moved to the area and have had issues in past relationships with my size, I would like to meet a women preferably like yourself in terms of appearance who can handle my size on a regular basis! This is reason for trying this site, I have seen your profile and find you very attractive and rates and services seem ideal, was wondering if you were able to take me both vaginally and maybe anally (not hugely important but bonus) on a weekly basis, cannot attach photos but have soft and hard pic on profile. Few have said yes and then when we meet cannot so would be brilliant if you had experience or utmost confidence.

Thank you very much for your time, hope to hear from you soon

Marcus

Second one- hello would you be interested in blackmailing me over team viewer or any other way for money i know you probably get this all the time but i swear I'm genuine. tom x

Both with zero feedback. I think AW should invent an option to block messages from all zero feedback members. Do you think they would take this suggestion into consideration?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 13 February 2016, 06:06:17 pm
Yeah, also got the above copy paste from Marcus And His Amazing Penis ::)

I haven't been on AW today, but I just delete these without even opening them anyway. I normally have to do a bit of a sweep on a Monday morning - I suppose they must get bored on a weekend.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 13 February 2016, 06:06:42 pm
Quote from: Jessica201 on 13 February 2016, 05:50:22 pm
Two emails today

First one-Hi hope you are well, my name is Marcus and I've just moved to the area and have had issues in past relationships with my size, I would like to meet a women preferably like yourself in terms of appearance who can handle my size on a regular basis! This is reason for trying this site, I have seen your profile and find you very attractive and rates and services seem ideal, was wondering if you were able to take me both vaginally and maybe anally (not hugely important but bonus) on a weekly basis, cannot attach photos but have soft and hard pic on profile. Few have said yes and then when we meet cannot so would be brilliant if you had experience or utmost confidence.

Thank you very much for your time, hope to hear from you soon

Marcus


Size is not a problem, I have seen obese clients before. If you are morbidly obese, we may have to move the mattress to the floor to avoid damaging the bed.
x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 13 February 2016, 08:57:46 pm
Brilliant reply above. I can just imagine his jaw dropping over that. Duuurrrb.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 13 February 2016, 11:39:38 pm
Guy texted asking all the questions that are on my profile, services, rates, age etc. I referred him to my profile and he texted back...
"I can't read"

"But you're managing to read my texts and write a reply perfectly well?!"

"My mates helping me"

I despair sometimes.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 14 February 2016, 07:26:49 pm
immediate block from this one. its even in my FAQs i will block anyone who even asks! :FF

Quote
Hi I have looked your profile over, and would like to make a booking, but I was wondering if it would be possible to have sex naturally, without a condom? I have a problem with my vestibular system that makes it hard for me to balance and because of that I don't get out much and haven't had sex in years so I know I'm clean. I was hoping to find a woman I could meet regularly and experience the natural feeling, Is there any chance that you could help?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 14 February 2016, 07:57:49 pm
"I'm 16, would you still serve me"

I'm not a pub!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 15 February 2016, 12:05:54 am
Quote from: Red KB on 14 February 2016, 07:57:49 pm
"I'm 16, would you still serve me"

I'm not a pub!!!

Oh dear lol.

When I worked for an agency a couple of years back, this one guy came in and looked about 16/17. I asked him how old he was and he quickly explained how he'd told the madam over the phone how he looked young but he was really 18 and got his passport out to show me. I was only 19 myself at the time.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 15 February 2016, 01:14:23 pm
'Hello can you do 5 days booking I am prepared to pay you ?80,000 I can give you ?40,000  straight away if you are available please get in touch thank you'

Had this today ^^

My response:

'Yes okay.

Put in my account then call.

Fu3ky0u - Sortcode
T1M3W4ST2R - Account number.

:)'

He actually replied 'will do, ill call you when its done'  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 15 February 2016, 01:47:42 pm
Quote from: MrsTomHardy on 15 February 2016, 01:14:23 pm
'Hello can you do 5 days booking I am prepared to pay you ?80,000 I can give you ?40,000  straight away if you are available please get in touch thank you'

Had this today ^^

My response:

'Yes okay.

Put in my account then call.

Fu3ky0u - Sortcode
T1M3W4ST2R - Account number.

:)'

He actually replied 'will do, ill call you when its done'  :FF

HAHA!!! Do update if he tries to say he's done it!! :o ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 15 February 2016, 02:07:01 pm
Haha he has said hes done it.

I aint in the mood for arseholes today so my response was quite abusive.

'Lmao what a frigging div.

Do you think i was born yesterday?

Read the sortcode and account number again.

Goes something like this

Fuckyou - Sortcode
Timewaster - account number.

If your gonna try and be a dickhead at least be clever about it you stupid c***'

Lol as i say; no patience. X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 15 February 2016, 02:10:36 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 12 February 2016, 03:12:30 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 11 February 2016, 09:52:56 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 11 February 2016, 07:13:30 pm
text last night:

"outcall now?" :FF :FF :FF

i.e you are less than an animal to me so I will refrain from using human niceties with you.

I had better. This morning when I woke up I saw on my phone this text:

"Now?"

Hahahaha. Are their fingers freezing or what????
I had "Outcall or incall?" On Saturday  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 15 February 2016, 02:11:02 pm
Quote from: MrsTomHardy on 15 February 2016, 02:07:01 pm
Haha he has said hes done it.

I aint in the mood for arseholes today so my response was quite abusive.

'Lmao what a frigging div.

Do you think i was born yesterday?

Read the sortcode and account number again.

Goes something like this

Fuckyou - Sortcode
Timewaster - account number.

If your gonna try and be a dickhead at least be clever about it you stupid c***'

Lol as i say; no patience. X

Ahhhhh  :D ;D Nice one! My only wish is that you played along a couple of times more, as in finding out where this imaginary trip was to and where he wanted to meet :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 15 February 2016, 02:20:28 pm
He did this last year you see cat.

Hes gone on to assure me hes not a time waster and to google (insert name) cos that's definitely him and he has lots of money and he can buy me all day long cos im 'two a penny'

Ill post a warning in reporting tws thread cos hes been at this a long time.

I mean come on mr money bags, find yourself some fresh meat  :FF :FF

Idiots we have to deal with, honestly! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 15 February 2016, 02:32:55 pm
Quote from: MrsTomHardy on 15 February 2016, 01:14:23 pm
'Hello can you do 5 days booking I am prepared to pay you ?80,000 I can give you ?40,000  straight away if you are available please get in touch thank you'

Had this today ^^

My response:

'Yes okay.

Put in my account then call.

Fu3ky0u - Sortcode
T1M3W4ST2R - Account number.

:)'

He actually replied 'will do, ill call you when its done'  :FF

Lol i had this as well. I didn't read it all. soon as I saw ?800000 i just delete straight away.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 15 February 2016, 02:37:46 pm
They honest must think all we have to us is a bunch of holes and a pair of tits. Brains? Escorts? Escorts having brains? Neeeeever.  :FF
Lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 16 February 2016, 12:08:29 am
Quote from: MrsTomHardy on 15 February 2016, 01:14:23 pm
'Hello can you do 5 days booking I am prepared to pay you ?80,000 I can give you ?40,000  straight away if you are available please get in touch thank you'

Had this today ^^

My response:

'Yes okay.

Put in my account then call.

Fu3ky0u - Sortcode
T1M3W4ST2R - Account number.

:)'

He actually replied 'will do, ill call you when its done'  :FF

I've had this one, think I posted it in warnings a while back. Wants to discuss the imaginary trip to London and a Skype session after he supposedly transfers in front of you on Skype. I said the ?40k upfront isn't necessary, I'm happy with a ?100 deposit but it would have to be before I send any pics or Skype etc. He suddenly lost interest. Surprise!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 16 February 2016, 12:26:09 am
Whrn they send you sn arrogant message .... using their work email... i mean brains? Where are they.?! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 16 February 2016, 12:31:41 am
Woke up to a lovely text this morning

'Are you u'

 ???

I almost replied with a

'No'

But thought otherwise and just saved him under 'idiot'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 16 February 2016, 10:11:57 am
Received this text

I'm brian 24 huge 11inch lv to meet a lovely posh speaking mature who use filthy word weird reg but Iv u to kick me in balls wearing heels gets penis rock hard to fuck u good I stretch that juicy cunt u lv fucking it xx

I've listed him under "delusional prick".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 16 February 2016, 10:37:04 am
Quote from: mature helen on 16 February 2016, 10:11:57 am
stretch that juicy cunt

Thats actually vile  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 16 February 2016, 02:20:30 pm
Email this morning,

"I  just joined adultwork need some feedback to see another girl! can you help?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fancypants on 16 February 2016, 06:06:43 pm
Quote
"I  just joined adultwork need some feedback to see another girl! can you help?"
lol what an A hole!

All I've been saying to myself all day is " Please god, give me strength".

Time wasters is one thing but to get stupid texts and ongoing emails from clients you've seen before makes me think " is this really the same person"???

Got an email from a client I saw two weeks ago  -

Him " do you remember me? I was hoping we could meet up again - when do you think you might be free?

me " Of course I remember you. I'll be available from tomorrow.When were you looking to meet?

him " I'd love to know if you can tease me to the same extent a second time! But will have to wait til my monthly pension arrives!!!!!

Then today I recieved a text from him  -

Him " Hey sexy, would you like to say hello to my cock again"?when are you available

Me - Just let me know the time and day. I'll be available from Wednesday.

Him " What kind of time tomorrow baby?"  ....... :FF  :FF  :FF   I dont get it???? he was perfectly normal when I left him ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 16 February 2016, 06:13:04 pm
Quote from: fancypants on 16 February 2016, 06:06:43 pm
Quote
"I  just joined adultwork need some feedback to see another girl! can you help?"
lol what an A hole!

All I've been saying to myself all day is " Please god, give me strength".

Time wasters is one thing but to get stupid texts and ongoing emails from clients you've seen before makes me think " is this really the same person"???

Got an email from a client I saw two weeks ago  -

Him " do you remember me? I was hoping we could meet up again - when do you think you might be free?

me " Of course I remember you. I'll be available from tomorrow.When were you looking to meet?

him " I'd love to know if you can tease me to the same extent a second time! But will have to wait til my monthly pension arrives!!!!!

Then today I recieved a text from him  -

Him " Hey sexy, would you like to say hello to my cock again"?when are you available

Me - Just let me know the time and day. I'll be available from Wednesday.

Him " What kind of time tomorrow baby?"  ....... :FF  :FF  :FF   I dont get it???? he was perfectly normal when I left him ???

Me, i would say "No thanks, it was horrible last time. Don't think I can manage again. Book someone else. " Lol. Gosh the baby thing makes my skin crawl. like ewwww, I am not your baby. We are not dating nor will we ever. use the baby for the wife not the the prostitute. I have never and will never see anyone that sees me as such and calls me by that vile name. I swear, I just gag and cringe when they say that :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fancypants on 16 February 2016, 06:22:41 pm
Quote
Gosh the baby thing makes my skin crawl. like ewwww, I am not your baby. We are not dating nor will we ever.

Exactly!! the word baby makes my skin crawl just like wearing tights without shoes..eeww... tights rubbing against a carpeted floor ... shudder
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 16 February 2016, 11:25:53 pm



I had "Outcall or incall?" On Saturday  :FF
[/quote]

You should reply: 'Who are you addressing? Her over there or me you ignorant bastard'
OR: 'Ignorance will get you absolutely nowhere so jog on Ug'

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 17 February 2016, 03:37:00 am
usually when not working my phone is off, but forgot tonight and this just came through

u up send me postcode immediately if you working ANAL SEX
I come over and fuck for ANAL SEX
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 17 February 2016, 11:40:17 am
Crude prat: I'd like to make an appointment at 4pm
Me:Ok
C.P:Do you do an appointment just for a blow job?
Me:Yes I can do a 15 min quickie
Him:Great, I want a good bj cos my wife is SHIT at blow job.
Me:I don't really need to know that do I?I think we will leave it.

I find it really yack when they feel the need to slag their partner off to get a booking. No need.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 17 February 2016, 12:03:46 pm
Bibi that guy sounds like an asshole! We all get married clients but there's no need a slag the other one off ay?! 

I woke up to this today:
Man (11pm): can you call I want to book
11:30 *Inside number*
12am Call me
2:37am Call me sexy
3:14 am  thought you were going to call me
6:05am you won't get the booking unless you call me

Yeah.... I'd rather not get it x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 17 February 2016, 12:25:40 pm
Quote from: Riverprice on 17 February 2016, 12:03:46 pm
Bibi that guy sounds like an asshole! We all get married clients but there's no need a slag the other one off ay?! 

I woke up to this today:
Man (11pm): can you call I want to book
11:30 *Inside number*
12am Call me
2:37am Call me sexy
3:14 am  thought you were going to call me
6:05am you won't get the booking unless you call me

Yeah.... I'd rather not get it x
Like he has honestly waited up all night for you to call..what a weirdo lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 17 February 2016, 01:22:03 pm
Quote from: Riverprice on 17 February 2016, 12:03:46 pm
Bibi that guy sounds like an asshole! We all get married clients but there's no need a slag the other one off ay?! 

I woke up to this today:
Man (11pm): can you call I want to book
11:30 *Inside number*
12am Call me
2:37am Call me sexy
3:14 am  thought you were going to call me
6:05am you won't get the booking unless you call me

Yeah.... I'd rather not get it x

Probably some drunk asshole. Don't people have anything better to do at stupid hours of the morning?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 17 February 2016, 10:40:50 pm
Fastest contortionist punter in the UK?

'Firsty, would u do just a quick booking with your feet and / or boobs? Let me smell ur feet as i wank over ur boobs? Maybe just 5 mins each time?

Secondly, do u sell ur worn panties / socks i could cum n collect?'

(gross)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 18 February 2016, 01:38:16 pm
1.23pm Hi seen ur add. Need a good shag later.
1.34- u free
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 18 February 2016, 02:35:18 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 18 February 2016, 01:38:16 pm
1.23pm Hi seen ur add. Need a good shag later.
1.34- u free

Classy guy
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 18 February 2016, 06:53:17 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 18 February 2016, 01:38:16 pm
1.23pm Hi seen ur add. Need a good shag later.
1.34- u free

perfect example that hiring an escort is like hollering at their fuck buddy friend. It is not a business to them and that's why they are so informal. That's the text I will send to me sex friend not a hooker. What is wrong with these men thinking we are friends?  ::) :FF Is there an app where you can just block all incoming texts from any number? If not I sooo want to invent one. Will you lot buy it? lol ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 18 February 2016, 07:20:04 pm
Quote from: Jessica201 on 18 February 2016, 06:53:17 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 18 February 2016, 01:38:16 pm
1.23pm Hi seen ur add. Need a good shag later.
1.34- u free

perfect example that hiring an escort is like hollering at their fuck buddy friend. It is not a business to them and that's why they are so informal. That's the text I will send to me sex friend not a hooker. What is wrong with these men thinking we are friends?  ::) :FF Is there an app where you can just block all incoming texts from any number? If not I sooo want to invent one. Will you lot buy it? lol ;D
Yes Call Guard does this I think.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 18 February 2016, 07:42:17 pm
"u free now"
 1 min later "are u indian "

um im English rebecca with pics that cleary show im not in the slightist! :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 18 February 2016, 10:06:45 pm
There's a RB up on AW asking for a monthly txt package as part of regular bookings once or twice a month. I made a bid and he contacted me early the next day to say that he was accepting my bid and would be going to the bank to transfer money for a monthly text package at half 5. The guy has a lot of feedback on AW so didn't think he'd be a time waster. He was texting me all day, and I stupidly gave him the benefit of the doubt. Half five he texts and says the bank is closed and he'll do it tomorrow. Then nothing. My own fault for giving him the benefit of the doubt, but still infuriating.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 19 February 2016, 10:10:32 pm
What do you think I should answer to this:

'Not sure how long to book as will probably shoot my first load in minutes however feeling greedy so looking to cum multiple times so was thinking of a long session or am I being too greedy and do you think I should stick to an hour?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 19 February 2016, 11:57:01 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 19 February 2016, 10:10:32 pm
What do you think I should answer to this:

'Not sure how long to book as will probably shoot my first load in minutes however feeling greedy so looking to cum multiple times so was thinking of a long session or am I being too greedy and do you think I should stick to an hour?'

"Thanks for your enquiry, let me know when you are ready to book."

And block if he tries to engage you in any more chit chat about how often he's able to cum in an hour.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 20 February 2016, 11:20:47 am
Quote from: Shewolf on 19 February 2016, 10:10:32 pm
What do you think I should answer to this:

'Not sure how long to book as will probably shoot my first load in minutes however feeling greedy so looking to cum multiple times so was thinking of a long session or am I being too greedy and do you think I should stick to an hour?'

I'd reply: You are welcome to make a shorter booking and extend if/when needed. Please let me know if you'd like to make a booking and we'll go from there.

If he carries on asking questions after that then I'd write him off as a time waster.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 20 February 2016, 05:37:25 pm
hes at it again

hello hun

would you like to visit athens in greece ?

i live in athens as an expat oil rig engineer but am a british citizen, rent a nice 4 bed furnished house in upscale marousi

will cover all expenses flights meals accomodation local travel but no other costs

if interested whatsapp me on my uk number [number removed] or may be even better we speak on facetime / skype

am 32 year old, male, live alone here as family back in London, soft spoken and nice, educated, have discreet pic on profile, i keep in shape, always use condom etc

you should be clean, free from substance abuse, trustworthy, girl next door kind


i had the same email like 6 months ago i told him to join a dating site and stop emailing me for a free fuck never gunna happen
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 20 February 2016, 08:25:47 pm
Had this email and actually got me checking if I'd accidentally ticked BB or wondering if my profile had been hacked, but no this chancer obviously hopes to open a dialogue on BB with anyone either to try and pressure them into it, or get ping ping emails going to wank off too  :FF

Hi ****

Wow your very sexy and i would love to meet you mm

I'm going to have to ask this as im interested in BB and sorry if i offend as im confused on this subject.

Your profile says mentions no unprotected sex which to says no, but you have the like unprotected sex box ticked? which means yes . one is wrong im sure maybe you have changed your mind?

I will respect you views either way.

Regards
Alun
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 20 February 2016, 09:06:02 pm
The fact he says 'mm' would put me off, never mind the BB haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 20 February 2016, 09:43:57 pm
bit confused as to if bb is offered on your profile /? whilst i dont agree with bb if u list it but say no im as confused as him! sorry if im missing something x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 20 February 2016, 09:55:11 pm
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 20 February 2016, 09:43:57 pm
bit confused as to if bb is offered on your profile /? whilst i dont agree with bb if u list it but say no im as confused as him! sorry if im missing something x

That's the whole point, obviously I don't! Otherwise I wouldn't be pissed at this email -  reread the email and my sarky comments about it and you'll see what I mean.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 20 February 2016, 09:57:26 pm
ah i see x wat a wanker
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tinkerbell on 20 February 2016, 10:44:00 pm
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 20 February 2016, 05:37:25 pm
hes at it again

hello hun

would you like to visit athens in greece ?

i live in athens as an expat oil rig engineer but am a british citizen, rent a nice 4 bed furnished house in upscale marousi

will cover all expenses flights meals accomodation local travel but no other costs

if interested whatsapp me on my uk number [number removed] or may be even better we speak on facetime / skype

am 32 year old, male, live alone here as family back in London, soft spoken and nice, educated, have discreet pic on profile, i keep in shape, always use condom etc

you should be clean, free from substance abuse, trustworthy, girl next door kind


i had the same email like 6 months ago i told him to join a dating site and stop emailing me for a free fuck never gunna happen
Well the two timing so and so. I thought that was an exclusive offer to me. Haha.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 21 February 2016, 12:10:04 am
 ;D think hes actually sent me it 3 times in a year!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 21 February 2016, 11:07:39 am
Text ....how much just to spit in your face for 15 mins ! Ignored but compared with my slobberer kisser ( don't see now) ....I thought it sounded appealing lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 21 February 2016, 01:10:23 pm
Lol that one seems to be going around too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 21 February 2016, 07:51:41 pm
Text today

"Want to lick your cunt bb" does he mean bare back or baby?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 21 February 2016, 08:13:33 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 21 February 2016, 07:51:41 pm
Text today

"Want to lick your cunt bb" does he mean bare back or baby?

Probably both haha double dickhead  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 22 February 2016, 08:56:39 am
hi i've been wanting to see you for ages.  can i have an hour for ?60 please?

err, no i don't think i'll do an hour for less than a half hour rate thanks.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 22 February 2016, 11:21:44 am
 "I'm trying to book 5 minutes  but it's not working ".... clearly states I have a minimum  time booking xxxc
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 22 February 2016, 12:58:06 pm
what are you expected to do in 5 minutes?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 22 February 2016, 01:01:05 pm
I've hung up on no less than five men this morning, all of which have asked me if I can "handle" their "large size".   ::) at least one genuine call today would be nice!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 22 February 2016, 01:06:13 pm
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 22 February 2016, 01:01:05 pm
I've hung up on no less than five men this morning, all of which have asked me if I can "handle" their "large size".   ::) at least one genuine call today would be nice!

My temptation would be to ask 'but can you handle my large fee?' since its 99.9% certain they've not read your profile; just double your fee or something.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 22 February 2016, 01:21:32 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 22 February 2016, 12:58:06 pm
what are you expected to do in 5 minutes?

I know right? ? I think he wanted  super quick sex as he has the old quick ejaculation problem
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 22 February 2016, 01:39:44 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 22 February 2016, 01:06:13 pm
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 22 February 2016, 01:01:05 pm
I've hung up on no less than five men this morning, all of which have asked me if I can "handle" their "large size".   ::) at least one genuine call today would be nice!

My temptation would be to ask 'but can you handle my large fee?' since its 99.9% certain they've not read your profile; just double your fee or something.  ::)

Hahahaha!  ;D What I might do is start replying with "Yes, I can handle your huge dick, but I'm afraid I charge ?50 extra for every inch above the average 5.5, so remind me of your size again, big boy?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 22 February 2016, 05:27:58 pm
"Morning baby girl"  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 22 February 2016, 05:31:47 pm
Hello I'm 22 years Young boy, which want blowjob I think its some minutes not half hours so maybe you can do it for $20 :) I can Come to you at 10am.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sourgrapes on 22 February 2016, 06:03:59 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 22 February 2016, 05:31:47 pm
Hello I'm 22 years Young boy, which want blowjob I think its some minutes not half hours so maybe you can do it for $20 :) I can Come to you at 10am.

What a hoot! Tell him to put his ?20 through your letterbox, then shove his cock through. Your slave can suck him off   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 22 February 2016, 07:54:49 pm
"Hi would love to meet if you are free. I am the perfect punter. xx"
I think his definition of the perfect punter might  be a bit different from what my definition is. Hmmmm. How to reply to that?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 22 February 2016, 08:05:46 pm
Someone just rung me off a withheld number, when I answered he just laughed  ???


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 22 February 2016, 08:56:48 pm
Quote from: katrina on 22 February 2016, 08:05:46 pm
Someone just rung me off a withheld number, when I answered he just laughed  ???
This is one reason why I cut withheld numbers off, the last time I answered one it was an angry wife
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 23 February 2016, 12:32:32 am
Quote from: Jessica201 on 22 February 2016, 07:54:49 pm
"Hi would love to meet if you are free. I am the perfect punter. xx"
I think his definition of the perfect punter might  be a bit different from what my definition is. Hmmmm. How to reply to that?

"Great! So you will pop my fee through the letterbox and leave immediately, yes?"

 :D ;D

(I am joking of course!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 23 February 2016, 03:10:57 am
Had a right fuckwit tonight.

Just about to get my supper out of the oven about 22:10 when my phone rang. I let it go, but then it rang again, so I picked up, and it was another bloke with a query. Served up my food and texted the first man, apologising for missing his call, and saying I'd be free to speak after 22:45. At 22:25 he calls again... I reject it. He texts me and asks where I am, then immediately sends a second text asking for my postcode. I give him the first half and my town (which isn't quite where I say on my profiles for anonymity).

At about 22:47 he sends another text, but I don't get chance to read it before he calls - and announces that he's at the postcode I gave him... which must be an area of at least 10 square miles! I said I finish at 22:30 so couldn't see him: I'd assumed, like many men, he just wanted to know where I was for future reference. He started going on that I was out of order - FFS. I said it was irrelevant, because if he'd read any of my profiles, he'd know when I finish, that I never confirm a booking without a phone call, and that I need at least an hour's notice. He tried to argue that first contact was at 22:10, so I should be nearly ready. Give me strength...

He sounded young and thick, with that faux-ethnic style of 'street' speech. Now stored in my phone as 'Twat'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 23 February 2016, 06:49:56 am
Nia you got me wondering now as I have had a number of attempts at calling me recently from a number withheld.  I ignore or stop it ringing then they immediately try again.....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 23 February 2016, 09:15:04 am
I always ignored withheld numbers but on a couple of occasions I answered without looking at my phone. Now I have my blocking app do it for me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 23 February 2016, 07:03:10 pm
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 20 February 2016, 05:37:25 pm
hes at it again

hello hun

would you like to visit athens in greece ?

i live in athens as an expat oil rig engineer but am a british citizen, rent a nice 4 bed furnished house in upscale marousi

will cover all expenses flights meals accomodation local travel but no other costs

if interested whatsapp me on my uk number [number removed] or may be even better we speak on facetime / skype

am 32 year old, male, live alone here as family back in London, soft spoken and nice, educated, have discreet pic on profile, i keep in shape, always use condom etc

you should be clean, free from substance abuse, trustworthy, girl next door kind


i had the same email like 6 months ago i told him to join a dating site and stop emailing me for a free fuck never gunna happen

 Oh my! I got this exact email today !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 23 February 2016, 10:22:32 pm
Yeah this athens guy is messaging me too.

So I got a message from a guy asking for a face pic, said no as I don't send them and he said 'Oh I don't think I can book someone without knowing what they look like'.  So I said maybe the best thing is if he looks for someone with a face pic on her profile.  He replies 'Fair enough, aren't you going to try and convince me?'  All my alarm bells were ringing, but I wanted to see what he'd say so I said 'How do you think I should do that'.  He replies 'I dunno, you have to sell yourself.HA'....twat.

I responded saying nobody has ever been sent a face picture and nobody has ever been disappointed, but that i don't have to convince him or 'sell myself' as I've never had to do that. HA. >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlaqHarlot on 24 February 2016, 02:17:14 am
Had a strange email today from a client with 1 feedback asking if he could book me for tomorrow, even though I state clearly at the top of my profile I won't be escorting til 26th as I'm away in other cities back & forth until then, he asks for a booking and asks that I don't wash at all for our booking... Hopes I am unshaven, wants me to have dirty feet as he wants to lick them and also would like me to piss and shit on him... Fabulous, of course I'll take the booking babe.... *bangs head against wall*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 24 February 2016, 03:37:08 am
Quote from: Curvygal on 23 February 2016, 10:22:32 pm
Yeah this athens guy is messaging me too.

So I got a message from a guy asking for a face pic, said no as I don't send them and he said 'Oh I don't think I can book someone without knowing what they look like'.  So I said maybe the best thing is if he looks for someone with a face pic on her profile.  He replies 'Fair enough, aren't you going to try and convince me?'  All my alarm bells were ringing, but I wanted to see what he'd say so I said 'How do you think I should do that'.  He replies 'I dunno, you have to sell yourself.HA'....twat.

I responded saying nobody has ever been sent a face picture and nobody has ever been disappointed, but that i don't hmave to convince him or 'sell myself' as I've never had to do that. HA. >:(

"I don't need to sell myself to you, it's more a case of you having to buy me'

These are the kind of replies that I've found myself saying instead of just thinking lately. Time for a break me thinks!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 24 February 2016, 12:27:23 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 22 February 2016, 08:56:48 pm
Quote from: katrina on 22 February 2016, 08:05:46 pm
Someone just rung me off a withheld number, when I answered he just laughed  ???
This is one reason why I cut withheld numbers off, the last time I answered one it was an angry wife


To be fair if an angry wife wants to call why would she withhold her number? She could buy a ?1 simcard.  Since I've been escorting I've only ever had 2 (non angry) wives ring me (off their husbands phone)  wanting to know why my number is in their husbands recent call lists, on both occasions I just put on my bored disinterested vague voice and muttered something along the lines of "oh my son's left his mobile here" and they've accepted that.


I don't generally answer withheld numbers as they're mostly timewasters but when I'm sat near my phone and it rings 5 or 6 times in an hour I will answer to get rid of whoever it is.


The only other times females call me is to book me for a 3 some with them and their husband  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 24 February 2016, 12:44:17 pm
my profile states i'm not domme, thats i'm pretty much a vanilla GFE, yet i got this today..

Quote
hi Mistress,

would you be willing to offer giving hard sports and if so how much would it be for an hour incall with fisting, hard sports and foot worship? I am used to hard sports and would like you to do a large shit directly in my mouth which I will eat and to be watched by you eating it. Also do you have a school type cane?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 24 February 2016, 10:36:57 pm
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 20 February 2016, 05:37:25 pm
would you like to visit athens in greece ?[snip]

I got this one over the weekend - such an obvious copy and paste job it went straight in the bin!



giant quote redacted
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 25 February 2016, 11:54:57 am
Call from a bloke last night firstly he informed me that he was looking for a new girl because and I quote 'I'm bored of the one I usually see' as if that wasn't yack enough he then seemingly knew sod all about me and asked me if I wanted to know all about him and proceeded to waffle on about his job something to do with dogs.I stopped him there and mentioned that it wasn't dating.Got him off the phone and then b texted to say he would like to meet so told him to contact me tomorrow with a day and time to which he replied that he wasn't sure about it because I'm a big girl.Told him that is fairly obvious from my advert and not to contact me if that wasn't his thing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 25 February 2016, 12:03:10 pm
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 20 February 2016, 05:37:25 pm
would you like to visit athens in greece ?[snip]

Hey, I got this the other day too! You mean to say he wasn't just offering me the trip? :(



giant quote redacted
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 25 February 2016, 12:54:59 pm
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 20 February 2016, 05:37:25 pm
would you like to visit athens in greece ?[snip]
Got this too. Called him a scam artist and blocked. His name is [name removed - what were you thinking?]



giant quote redacted
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 25 February 2016, 04:40:38 pm
FFS what next:

Hello babe ima be real honest I'm from prison I work out each day for free in a charity shop so I don't get paid. I was woundering if you wanted to do a good deed for the day and help me out. I'm white 30 in pretty good shape j can send a pic if needed. X if not hope you have a good day x

Via text, I swear I've heard of something similar before ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 25 February 2016, 05:38:45 pm
yea that ones been posted on this thread somewhere
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 25 February 2016, 07:55:43 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 25 February 2016, 04:40:38 pm
FFS what next:

Hello babe ima be real honest I'm from prison I work out each day for free in a charity shop so I don't get paid. I was woundering if you wanted to do a good deed for the day and help me out. I'm white 30 in pretty good shape j can send a pic if needed. X if not hope you have a good day x

Via text, I swear I've heard of something similar before ???

What a gob shite!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 25 February 2016, 08:21:00 pm
skinflint:
Alright babe staying over on Friday an sat an looking for a little Lapdance
I have a gf so ideally would like a Lapdance and I'll play whilst u do it
15 mins quickie how much
 
My reply:
200.
:)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 25 February 2016, 08:36:02 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 25 February 2016, 07:55:43 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 25 February 2016, 04:40:38 pm
FFS what next:

Hello babe ima be real honest I'm from prison I work out each day for free in a charity shop so I don't get paid. I was woundering if you wanted to do a good deed for the day and help me out. I'm white 30 in pretty good shape j can send a pic if needed. X if not hope you have a good day x

Via text, I swear I've heard of something similar before ???

What a gob shite!

Funnily enough he didn't get a reply!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 25 February 2016, 08:44:17 pm
Think I'd have to wind him up a bit...i.e:

'Yes, why not hey? How long would you like? 1 hour..2...3 even? BB? GFE? I'm feeling charitable!'

(knobheeeeeeeeeeeeeadddd)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 25 February 2016, 08:47:21 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 25 February 2016, 08:44:17 pm
Think I'd have to wind him up a bit...i.e:

'Yes, why not hey? How long would you like? 1 hour..2...3 even? BB? GFE? I'm feeling charitable!'

(knobheeeeeeeeeeeeeadddd)

I know what you mean; but mood I'm in after the shitty day I'd had I'd be more likely to get wound up than him! which would kinda defeat the purpose!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Bentley on 26 February 2016, 02:27:32 am
I got the Greece on too. Sent 3 times in as many weeks such an obvious copy paste, eventually replied telling him my daily rate was ?2500 and travel days would have to be covered security check etc and all days must include reasonable sleep/leisure time not just sex 24/7 and he came back saying 'no baby I don't pay. You just stay at my house and I'll book you an easyJet one way, you'll really like me it's generous of me to offer this, you get a free holiday, I'm not going to ask for more than a few hours of sex every day, it's so rude that you think you can ask for such a large amount from someone like me. I'm not an old ugly guy like your actual clients. Please call me to make arrangements' yeah right.. I'll get right on That!!

Do the rest of you get that a lot? The ones who assume all your clients are old and ugly and because they think they're not they should get special treatment. There is the youth of one particular group I get this A LOT from but in aid of not offending anyone I won't name them!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 26 February 2016, 09:19:25 am
Quote from: Miss Bentley on 26 February 2016, 02:27:32 am
Do the rest of you get that a lot? The ones who assume all your clients are old and ugly and because they think they're not they should get special treatment.

I had a guy the other day who said he was a 21 year old uni student wanting an outcall to a hotel I don't visit. When I said I didn't visit that chain he text back:

"Shame I had fresh young meat for u but okay X"

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 26 February 2016, 10:10:44 am
Hi Hannah. I know you state you don't see under 30s but was wondering if you would make an exception for me? I'm a polite clean gent, 28, and looking for a girl who provides what she says she does and is genuinely English. Had too many bad experiences with girls who have lied about their age, nationality or services. I understand if you don't want to make an exception.

Well since you're already saved under "no show" I think I'll pass just from that alone never mind the rest!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 26 February 2016, 01:52:40 pm
I've just had a text from someone claiming they have tried to ring several times but it's goes straight to voicemail. Funny I have no missed calls and I don't have voicemail set up...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 26 February 2016, 03:33:37 pm
All I'm getting today is texts from people saved under no show and  the idiot "will you swallow? Will you be naked? Wanna fk u. "    :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 26 February 2016, 03:42:36 pm
Will you be naked?

My God. Ask him if his brain hurts.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 26 February 2016, 03:51:49 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 26 February 2016, 03:42:36 pm
Will you be naked?

My God. Ask him if his brain hurts.

The one that asked this booked in the correct way before he started with the nonsense. I'm not even bothering to get ready now!

And now I've just been asked by the person I contacted the police about to get him to stop harrassing me if he can book in despite being warned and my last message from him telling me I was lucky he didn't tell them I was a whore and prositute and working and a lot more.

 ??? ??? ???

I think I need a drink tonight.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 26 February 2016, 04:02:15 pm
Funny how many spit their dummies out then sort of 'forgive' you your non-sins as soon as it suits them.

Funny that.

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 26 February 2016, 04:11:07 pm
Mongo drongo sounding voice mumbles something at me
me: sorry? pausing the film I've been watching
Mongo drongo: are you in heartfordshire? over 100 miles away
me: "no, where did you get my number?"

hangs up then I get a text. "you are a little rude. I'm willing to travel,"  lol

me: well you are a little dumb & I'm tired. Block.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BarbaraB on 26 February 2016, 06:19:32 pm
where  u are  based ?  what service do u provide ?  how much  for hour?

Please read my profile.

I did

so  why u asked me for all stuff  what  i do have un my profile?

u are rude

i don't think so  i have full info  in my profile so just read it

i did where i get  your number ?

block
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 26 February 2016, 09:52:36 pm
Idiot: Hey when u working?

(So I'm already irritated that giving me what time, date and how long he wants is something just so hard to do.)

Me "Hello. What time would you like and how long?"

Idiot: 11pm for the rest of the night. Where u based.

Me: (Trying not to rip his head off he clearly hasn't read anything.) Sorry I don't offer overnights.

Idiot: :(((( boooo lol

?!



Idiot 2: Hey what's your postcode so I can check how far?

Me: Sends postcode.

Hear absolutely nothing for an hour or so then:

Idiot 2: Im here baby what number?
Immediately after:

"Baby?"

What.the.actual.fuck.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BevOsteen on 26 February 2016, 10:02:24 pm
Quote from: Riverprice on 23 February 2016, 07:03:10 pm
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 20 February 2016, 05:37:25 pm
hes at it again

hello hun

would you like to visit athens in greece ?

i live in athens as an expat oil rig engineer but am a british citizen, rent a nice 4 bed furnished house in upscale marousi

will cover all expenses flights meals accomodation local travel but no other costs

if interested whatsapp me on my uk number [number removed] or may be even better we speak on facetime / skype

am 32 year old, male, live alone here as family back in London, soft spoken and nice, educated, have discreet pic on profile, i keep in shape, always use condom etc

you should be clean, free from substance abuse, trustworthy, girl next door kind


i had the same email like 6 months ago i told him to join a dating site and stop emailing me for a free fuck never gunna happen

 Oh my! I got this exact email today !!!

Omg been getting this same email with no feedback every now and the lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 27 February 2016, 01:33:49 pm
Mr LoverLover: 'Can I book you on Monday? I have a good sized cock. I love to start a session with lots of deep passionate french kissing, followed by oral without both ways. I love to try and get a woman to multi orgasm using my tongue'

Me: Gosh, I am getting wet already-can't you get here, like, YESTERDAY??



(FFS)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 27 February 2016, 02:55:47 pm
By text:

Knob head: Hiya I'm a nice straight guy in X visiting my mum I am 42 clean and tidy, just wondering if you were free this afternoon for a massage

Me: sends standard text about prices/availability

Knob head: Ok thanks X I only have ?50 and a bottle of wine, any good ! X

Me: What a joke no I don't see haggler's it's rude and offensive. If you can't afford me it's simple go elsewhere. But then you're just a timewaster your not intending to book anyway. So don't contact me again. Goodbye.

AND BLOCK!

yeh I normally wouldn't have sent that last text, but ignored, however in a bad mood so...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 27 February 2016, 02:58:56 pm
Just remembered why I don't often do same day bookings at the weekend anymore.
Caller 1 hung up 3 times before finally speaking to me and asking for a booking in 2 hours.He then asked what I looked like...
Caller 2 was a bloke who previously booked and never confirmed but kidded on he had never spoke to me before and asked for details.
Caller 3 booked for 3pm was asked to confirm at 2:30 and not a sausage.
Caller 4 Booked for 5:30 and then cancelled.
Caller 5 Rang and told me he had a thing for ladies that are hairy down below..jolly good except I am trimmed.He said he knew that but hoped I'd have hair that was poking out from the side of my pants and if not would I grow it for 2 weeks for him..he then asked how long it would be then?How the heck do I know?Told him it would probably be better if he rang girls that had a hairy fanny and advertised it.
Email 1 Can I do a duo at 8pm..I advertise I finish at 7pm.
Email 2 (no feedback) Can he worship my ass and spit in his mouth and would my arse be shitty or clean and how thick would my spit be?

I give up!Where are the normal reliable blokes?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 27 February 2016, 03:01:54 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 27 February 2016, 02:58:56 pm
I give up!Where are the normal reliable blokes?

Yeh they don't exist at the weekend  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 27 February 2016, 03:13:26 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 27 February 2016, 02:58:56 pm
Email 2 (no feedback) Can he worship my ass and spit in his mouth and would my arse be shitty or clean and how thick would my spit be?

That bit about the hair sticking out from knickers was absolutely hilarious.
In relation to the thickness of your spit, tell him it's quite thick and green at the moment as you have bronchitis and you'll throw in French kissing for free if he plays his cards right.

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 27 February 2016, 04:00:39 pm
Fuck me stiff it never ends today!I'm sure I'm on some sort of prank show.Got someone who is supposedly wanting a booking monday but came out with all this strange stuff about him dressing as a bride while i tie him up gag him and fuck him up the arse.I don't even advertise that sort of service.The timewaste vibe came from him asking if he could text what a naughty boy he is over the weekend er nooo.
And just had a normallish sounding bloke (at last)wanting a 30 min in 15 mins time..then he told me he was coming from Bradford...I'm in Leeds so would be at least 45 mins..he then asked loads of daft questions asked him if he had read any of my profile..er no..all from Adultwork as well! :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 27 February 2016, 04:44:13 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 25 February 2016, 04:40:38 pm
FFS what next:

Hello babe ima be real honest I'm from prison I work out each day for free in a charity shop so I don't get paid. I was woundering if you wanted to do a good deed for the day and help me out. I'm white 30 in pretty good shape j can send a pic if needed. X if not hope you have a good day x

Via text, I swear I've heard of something similar before ???
3 times this week !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 27 February 2016, 04:51:56 pm
Since I've left my agency I thought I'd stick my phone number on a few different directories to see which ones work. Within an hour I've had the following texts..

1. Him: babe I have read ur profile and I want to come to ur place at 11pm to rubb ur beautiful body and feet
Him: Babe can u come to my hotel
Him: Babe I love u
Me: I don't wish to see you
Him: ok bye selfish

2. Him: im at the premier inn how long can u stay for I have 1000 pound with me now
Him: An that's really u on photo
Me: no
him: barrage of confused texts
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 27 February 2016, 05:04:00 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 27 February 2016, 01:33:49 pm
Mr LoverLover: 'Can I book you on Monday? I have a good sized cock. I love to start a session with lots of deep passionate french kissing, followed by oral without both ways. I love to try and get a woman to multi orgasm using my tongue'

Me: Gosh, I am getting wet already-can't you get here, like, YESTERDAY??



(FFS)
ha I had him yesterday wanted 3 hour booking ,never met me ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 27 February 2016, 05:05:14 pm
Quote from: Guiltypleasure on 27 February 2016, 04:44:13 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 25 February 2016, 04:40:38 pm
FFS what next:

Hello babe ima be real honest I'm from prison I work out each day for free in a charity shop so I don't get paid. I was woundering if you wanted to do a good deed for the day and help me out. I'm white 30 in pretty good shape j can send a pic if needed. X if not hope you have a good day x

Via text, I swear I've heard of something similar before ???
3 times this week !!!

You mean I'm not the only one!  :'(  :'(  :'(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 27 February 2016, 05:23:24 pm
TimeWasterrrr: I'd like to book you but  I'm on tablets that make it difficult for me to get hard.

Me: I see what date and time did you have in mind?

TimeWasterrrr: well I don't have a date....

Me: (interrupting) well why don't you get back to me when you do have a date and time.

****HANGS UP***

Voice was slurring throughout I wanted to give the benefit of the doubt that it was his tablets..... but well just maybe it was alcohol induced!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 27 February 2016, 05:35:39 pm
Took four texts for a 19-year old to come out and say he wanted a freebie, because he just wanted to give me oral pleasure. When I replied "Hahaha - no!" he said it was my loss as I wouldn't get a client like him.

Indeed, I get ones that pay.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 27 February 2016, 06:18:12 pm
Can none of them read a profile today either?Just had another now knew sod all about me.That's twice when I asked if they had read my profile they said no.Then they seem gobsmacked that you are not prepared to continue the call and ask them to have a quick read then ring back.I really cannot see the point in going through what I do and what it costs and where I am when they blatently are so half arsed they didn't read any of it for themselves and I am probably not suitable for what they want any way.Last one actually just put the phone down when I politely explained that I was offering incalls,no I didn't travel and my rates and services were right where he got my number from..so just shows what pricks some of these lazy ringarounds are.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 27 February 2016, 06:19:50 pm
I know, right :FF

I've had 100% TWs today.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 27 February 2016, 06:24:20 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 27 February 2016, 06:19:50 pm
I know, right :FF

I've had 100% TWs today.
Have never had a day like it for them.I think its because I usually only do advance bookings on a weekend (as in they need to let me know the day before)but my fella was away for the day so I thought I may as well work.I paid for available today and I think it kind of made me look like a new girl to the weekend timewaster brigade because my profile on AW wouldn't normally get updated at the weekend.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 27 February 2016, 06:31:31 pm
Fucks sake now another moron, saying he wanted to book me...I say the usual 1 hrs notice, how long, any questions...stupidly assuming he'd at least read the basics

Him:how old are you and my response was its clear you don't even know who you are ringing if you don't even know that so I if you can't be bothered to read the basics I can't be bothered to see you.

the rude fucker with no social skills hangs up

Is there gonna be a full moon or something tonight  :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 28 February 2016, 09:57:19 am
Quote from: Jezabel on 27 February 2016, 05:05:14 pm
Quote from: Guiltypleasure on 27 February 2016, 04:44:13 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 25 February 2016, 04:40:38 pm
FFS what next:

Hello babe ima be real honest I'm from prison I work out each day for free in a charity shop so I don't get paid. I was woundering if you wanted to do a good deed for the day and help me out. I'm white 30 in pretty good shape j can send a pic if needed. X if not hope you have a good day x

Via text, I swear I've heard of something similar before ???
3 times this week !!!

You mean I'm not the only one!  :'(  :'(  :)

Ha ha nope , three times this week and a month a go ( last tour) on the last one this time it said' realise I've messaged you before ' the first one said he was on day release to work in a charity shop but he had to be back at so and so time , forget the name of the prison , just switched phone off and it's on charge but it's well known ....I tend not to block people just call them something in case they realise they're blocked and use another mobile ...so I just let it ring ..with' leopard skin weirdo ' etc flashing away ....bugger wanted me to wear a leopard dress and a spray tan FFS ....said I'm not bet lynch thanks lol ...


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 28 February 2016, 10:34:49 am
Yeh I figured he'd sent it to so many girls that his sending thumb is now  dropping off. I didn't bother replying and just saved him as  prison fantasist or some such like....

Also a mail from Friday ad which sounded  strangely familiar... because he's forgotten he had already phoned me about this yesterday and couldn't give me a date/time!

Hi  I am on tablets which can stop me getting hard. Can I still have the full GFE. Sorry for my naivety but what's an assie kiss ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 28 February 2016, 01:12:43 pm
Laughing 'prison guy' is not 'leopard guy' but maybe I should respond to prison guy and say if he used his thumb and fingers to better advantage he wouldn't be so desperate lol ! Had another really really smart guy book , but kind of hard looking , but I liked it , kept saying after"I've gotta get back" I asked where and he said prison ( thought SHIT) asked what he'd done and he said VAT Fraud and paid me in fifties ....I said they better not be fake because I know where you are ....he laughed and said nope they're not see you soon ...and they weren't ....it's a funny old life he was shit hot !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 28 February 2016, 02:01:12 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 27 February 2016, 06:18:12 pm
Can none of them read a profile today either?Just had another now knew sod all about me.That's twice when I asked if they had read my profile they said no.Then they seem gobsmacked that you are not prepared to continue the call and ask them to have a quick read then ring back.I really cannot see the point in going through what I do and what it costs and where I am when they blatently are so half arsed they didn't read any of it for themselves and I am probably not suitable for what they want any way.Last one actually just put the phone down when I politely explained that I was offering incalls,no I didn't travel and my rates and services were right where he got my number from..so just shows what pricks some of these lazy ringarounds are.

These types have been getting on my tits too this week, especially on Friday. Had one say that he didn't read my AW profile incase I didn't answer the phone.  ??? That doesn't even make sense. Had myself as available today too. F***ing idiot just on the free smut chat prowl. Started harping on about wanting a submissive type so he could take the lead. Yes I've done that, I say then he repeats himself.

Another called saying he was busy at work but may be around at such & such, would need to juggle some stuff then call me back. He starts texting stupid stuff so I send my web address. He "couldn't access" my web link, Pah! Told him I'd leave him to his busy work schedule then he could call when he knew his movements. Only to receive more stupid text which I gladly ignored. These creeps are so brazen with their nonsense.

Then I think I had 1 guy claiming to be blind pretending to be 2 different people with the same name. 1 booking was no show then he canceled the outcall because of a "minor daughter crisis". They both sounded similar with a bad phone signal.

After that some lad who wasn't sure how old he was, had to think for minutes then said the outcall would be at his parents house whilst they were at the cinema.  ::) At that point I got in the car & drove home.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 28 February 2016, 02:23:54 pm
Quote from: Guiltypleasure on 28 February 2016, 01:12:43 pm
Laughing 'prison guy' is not 'leopard guy' but maybe I should respond to prison guy and say if he used his thumb and fingers to better advantage he wouldn't be so desperate lol ! Had another really really smart guy book , but kind of hard looking , but I liked it , kept saying after"I've gotta get back" I asked where and he said prison ( thought SHIT) asked what he'd done and he said VAT Fraud and paid me in fifties ....I said they better not be fake because I know where you are ....he laughed and said nope they're not see you soon ...and they weren't ....it's a funny old life he was shit hot !
He sounds great, I'm jealous!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: K47 on 28 February 2016, 05:21:48 pm
Phone call I just got..
me: how long would you like?
him: hmmm I dont know can I just decide when I get there?
me: no, can you decide now please?
him: I have to decide right now?? WHY???
me: *hangs up*

grrrrrrr...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 28 February 2016, 07:44:21 pm
Quote from: K47 on 28 February 2016, 05:21:48 pm
Phone call I just got..
me: how long would you like?
him: hmmm I dont know can I just decide when I get there?
me: no, can you decide now please?
him: I have to decide right now?? WHY???
me: *hangs up*

grrrrrrr...

A while ago I had this absolutely obnoxious French guy. Oh well I'm on the phone with him answering patiently to his questions, my flatmate sitting next to me not understanding a word and just laughing seeing me making faces...
Then he asks "ok and say I arrive and decide I don't like you do I have to pay anyway?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 28 February 2016, 07:45:17 pm
A text from this evening:

Hi, I would like to be your dog feet slave bitch today?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 28 February 2016, 10:47:54 pm
It's so annoying that whenever my number is showing, I'll wake up to at least 10 texts all almost identical, every time 'you available now?'. And at least 20 missed calls. All They have to do is look at the very top of my profile and it states my availability. I know everyone else gets the same, but waking up to delete the nightly texts is starting to grate.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlaqHarlot on 28 February 2016, 10:53:10 pm
Quote from: Roxy101 on 28 February 2016, 10:47:54 pm
It's so annoying that whenever my number is showing, I'll wake up to at least 10 texts all almost identical, every time 'you available now?'. And at least 20 missed calls. All They have to do is look at the very top of my profile and it states my availability. I know everyone else gets the same, but waking up to delete the nightly texts is starting to grate.
This annoys me so much when they do this, I used to reply really rudely but now I just delete and take a deep breath!

I don't post up my number as much because of this, it really grates on me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 29 February 2016, 01:02:26 am
This morning I got a call that went like this:

Guy on phone: Hello Miss *insert name here* I would like a booking at 6pm this evening would this be possible?

Me: I can do 6:30 how do you feel about that?

Guy on phone: Yes that sounds good for me

*skipping over some questions I asked for vetting purposes he checked out just fine*

Me: Okay just send me a text to let me know you're still coming at 6pm and I'll send you instructions on where to get to me

Guy on phone: Okay I have one more question. When I come over what will we do?

Me: Well that's entirely up to you. Details of what I can do for you are on my profile

Guy on phone: Will you have sex with me?

Me: Come over and you'll find out

Guy on phone: I won't come if I don't get a verbal guarantee of sex from you

Me: You never intended to come over in the first place did you...

Guy on phone: Get your hopes up did I? Well I had my hopes too and you ruined that for me. Now neither of us are getting what we want...

He hangs up on me then calls me back says nothing for 10 seconds and hangs up again.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 29 February 2016, 02:40:13 am
Quote from: Roxy101 on 28 February 2016, 10:47:54 pm
It's so annoying that whenever my number is showing, I'll wake up to at least 10 texts all almost identical, every time 'you available now?'. And at least 20 missed calls. All They have to do is look at the very top of my profile and it states my availability. I know everyone else gets the same, but waking up to delete the nightly texts is starting to grate.

Quote from: DesignerWhore on 28 February 2016, 10:53:10 pm

This annoys me so much when they do this, I used to reply really rudely but now I just delete and take a deep breath!

I don't post up my number as much because of this, it really grates on me!

I've found only putting my number up when I'm working/using available helps. As soon as I'm done for the day both get taken off and my number is always removed before I go to sleep. I  still get the odd few who have saved it but I get many less daft texts and calls through the night or when I'm not working now.


My latest ones include:

"wanna cum in your fanny" and "youre beautiful are you single?"  ...I don't even have face pics. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 29 February 2016, 10:05:38 am
Via Email

Hi
Can I see you on Tuesday at 9.30am please. I hope you like my role play suggestion please let me know.
You are my PA and it has just come to the boards notice that a recent decision that you made has cost the Company a lot of money and i have been asked to deal with the situation and your job lies in the balance. I ask you what had happened and I explain about the costs to the company. You say that you are sorry and i say the rest of the board are demanding some severe penalty.
It could be that you will lose your job. You then say to me surely there must be a way i can keep my job something i can do that will change your mind.
I'm not sure what you mean I say I will take some convincing. You then start to strip and you end up standing in front of me wearing only suspenders stockings and high heels. You then walk towards me and kiss me deeply forcing your tongue into my mouth then you drop to your knees and undo my flies and release my cock and start to suck him hard. When my cock is hard you stand up and put your hands on the wall and spread your legs wide and bend over and you tell me to fuck you. I then slide my BARECOCK deep into your pussy after a little while I get you on your back and I start licking your pussy until you cum at which point i slide my BARECOCK back into your pussy and fuck you hard until I shoot my cum deep inside you. I say if you can offer me this sort of service on a regular basis I am sure I can secure your job. You say that's fine by me as you had always wanted to fuck me but just never got round to ask
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 29 February 2016, 11:31:03 am
UN.FUCKING.BELIEVABLE!!!

See above email from the guy first, I sent a polite reply saying Non.......heres the response!!!

Thank you for the polite reply.
The role play was just an idea and certainly not essential.
There was no intention on my part to upset you in any way, the Bareback element of the role play I am sure you would agree adds immensely to the spontaneity and excitement of the whole experience.
As a Company Director and one who does not take risks easily I can say I feel more secure with you as you have said initially NO. If you had said yes immediately I would have been dubious to say the very least. I can assure you that recently I undertook a very very thorough medical for work for World Travel Insurance as I travel a lot and part of the Medical was checking for STI my medical came back with the all clear. However I do not have any paperwork, certificates for this as they are the property of the Insurance company who initiated them. I respectfully ask that you at least consider what I have said and the fact that I really am genuine and I would love to see you.
There are many that offer this service you are right however they offer it to anyone anywhere anytime and are therefore NOT safe, I asked you because like me you are safe.

ps. I think its the only way you will save your job !!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 29 February 2016, 12:22:22 pm
Special kind of stupid, Jezabel!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 29 February 2016, 12:38:25 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 29 February 2016, 11:31:03 am
UN.FUCKING.BELIEVABLE!!!

See above email from the guy first, I sent a polite reply saying Non.......heres the response!!!

Thank you for the polite reply.
The role play was just an idea and certainly not essential.
There was no intention on my part to upset you in any way, the Bareback element of the role play I am sure you would agree adds immensely to the spontaneity and excitement of the whole experience.
As a Company Director and one who does not take risks easily I can say I feel more secure with you as you have said initially NO. If you had said yes immediately I would have been dubious to say the very least. I can assure you that recently I undertook a very very thorough medical for work for World Travel Insurance as I travel a lot and part of the Medical was checking for STI my medical came back with the all clear. However I do not have any paperwork, certificates for this as they are the property of the Insurance company who initiated them. I respectfully ask that you at least consider what I have said and the fact that I really am genuine and I would love to see you.
There are many that offer this service you are right however they offer it to anyone anywhere anytime and are therefore NOT safe, I asked you because like me you are safe.

ps. I think its the only way you will save your job !!!!

do they pretend to be daft to annoy or are they genuinely daft? My gosh. I dare say most of these nutters are dumb as fuck
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 29 February 2016, 12:59:57 pm
Quote from: Jessica201 on 29 February 2016, 12:38:25 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 29 February 2016, 11:31:03 am
UN.FUCKING.BELIEVABLE!!!

See above email from the guy first, I sent a polite reply saying Non.......heres the response!!!

Thank you for the polite reply.
The role play was just an idea and certainly not essential.
There was no intention on my part to upset you in any way, the Bareback element of the role play I am sure you would agree adds immensely to the spontaneity and excitement of the whole experience.
As a Company Director and one who does not take risks easily I can say I feel more secure with you as you have said initially NO. If you had said yes immediately I would have been dubious to say the very least. I can assure you that recently I undertook a very very thorough medical for work for World Travel Insurance as I travel a lot and part of the Medical was checking for STI my medical came back with the all clear. However I do not have any paperwork, certificates for this as they are the property of the Insurance company who initiated them. I respectfully ask that you at least consider what I have said and the fact that I really am genuine and I would love to see you.
There are many that offer this service you are right however they offer it to anyone anywhere anytime and are therefore NOT safe, I asked you because like me you are safe.

ps. I think its the only way you will save your job !!!!

do they pretend to be daft to annoy or are they genuinely daft? My gosh. I dare say most of these nutters are dumb as fuck

Yeh and guess what a lot of good FB (tho some not active) , I'm guessing hes BBing with all of those girls, but of course hes no risk to me!!!  And come to that how the fuck does he 'know I'm safe'.  I mean I am but hes not going to know that.....

Can't get any more stupid than that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aleshaxx on 29 February 2016, 02:09:21 pm
Moron Monday here we go...
Idiot: Are you available today?
Me:sure I'm free from blah blah blah when did you want to book ?
Idiot: An hour at blah blah
Me: ok great (confirm details)
5 minutes later I get a text ...
Idiot: so do you like to f**k rough and dirty
Dear God...give me strength!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 29 February 2016, 02:10:35 pm
When they try to make a booking without giving a definate time. Instead of saying 4pm they say 4pm possibly. Almost like I am mystic meg and can read what they really mean.  Jesus.... Just give a time it isn't rocket science.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 29 February 2016, 03:51:15 pm
Oh. My. Word.

I will see anyone, any nationality etc so long as their English is good enough to have a conversation about what they want etc.  So one guy phones, English just about ok.  But then he arrives and I spend 5 minutes trying to explain where I am in vicinity to the High Rise (like next door).  I explain over and over he doesn't get it.  I say goodbye and hang up in frustration.

He calls back I try and explain AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN.......still he doesn't get it. I tried to be patient at first but I've had people with worse English who've found their way 2 seconds from the high rise to me so I terminate and say 'sorry I'm in too bad a mood now to give good service anyway now, and no one else has had these problems, you still cannot find me so that's it'.

Still he tries to call me back 3 or 4 times  :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 29 February 2016, 05:27:20 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 29 February 2016, 03:51:15 pm
Oh. My. Word.

I will see anyone, any nationality etc so long as their English is good enough to have a conversation about what they want etc.  So one guy phones, English just about ok.  But then he arrives and I spend 5 minutes trying to explain where I am in vicinity to the High Rise (like next door).  I explain over and over he doesn't get it.  I say goodbye and hang up in frustration.

He calls back I try and explain AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN.......still he doesn't get it. I tried to be patient at first but I've had people with worse English who've found their way 2 seconds from the high rise to me so I terminate and say 'sorry I'm in too bad a mood now to give good service anyway now, and no one else has had these problems, you still cannot find me so that's it'.

Still he tries to call me back 3 or 4 times  :FF :FF :FF

oh god, some corkers from you this week!! hugs xxx

Last night a chap called me to go over a booking, we were meant to meet today. Strike one was yesterday when we were texting to arrange the booking, and I told him my available times. And he's all "well I can see you at X time so could you do that?" And I have to explain again that I am not available at that time and he reluctantly agrees to the time I said, although made a big deal about only booking 45mins so he wouldn't be 'rushed'.  Then on the phone last night he asked if I would make sure I have a shower before I see him, said he likes a fresh manicure and pedicure, and also was very concerned that I didn't have a cold?? "you sound stuffy, you haven't got a cold or anything have you?" It just really wound me up, as if I would receive a client ill, unwashed and with untidy hands and feet?? Then he made an outfit request and that was the final straw lol.

Others have made outfit requests and I've not minded but there's something different about the tone of guys like this one.  I could just tell that he wanted a passive receptacle for his sperm and nothing more, and that's certainly not the kind of clientele I want.  Cancelled him, just had a bad feeling about it.

Had another one texting and ringing today saying he wants to book and that his friend recommended me.  I smell bullshit, I've only seen a handful of clients since starting, none of which seem the type to even tell their mates they punt, let alone pass on WG's numbers!!

It's going to be a tight week but I'm not seeing these fuckers.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 29 February 2016, 05:36:56 pm
I have had this trying to direct people on literally a 2 min walk i  a straight line.It is so frustrating.Mind you had a native English speaker be as hard work today.The type that turns left when you told him right 3 times!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 29 February 2016, 05:39:14 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 29 February 2016, 05:36:56 pm
I have had this.It is so frustrating.Mind you had a native English speaker be as hard work today.The type that turns left when you told him right 3

Oh lord I've had that, once when touring in London, basically the hotel was pretty much in a straight line from a tube station, but this gent couldn't get it, finally he got in a huff (inferring I was to blame) and left without finding or seeing me.......
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 29 February 2016, 05:41:42 pm
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 29 February 2016, 05:27:20 pm
Last night a chap called me to go over a booking, we were meant to meet today. Strike one was yesterday when we were texting to arrange the booking, and I told him my available times. And he's all "well I can see you at X time so could you do that?" And I have to explain again that I am not available at that time and he reluctantly agrees to the time I said, although made a big deal about only booking 45mins so he wouldn't be 'rushed'.  Then on the phone last night he asked if I would make sure I have a shower before I see him, said he likes a fresh manicure and pedicure, and also was very concerned that I didn't have a cold?? "you sound stuffy, you haven't got a cold or anything have you?" It just really wound me up, as if I would receive a client ill, unwashed and with untidy hands and feet?? Then he made an outfit request and that was the final straw lol.

Others have made outfit requests and I've not minded but there's something different about the tone of guys like this one.  I could just tell that he wanted a passive receptacle for his sperm and nothing more, and that's certainly not the kind of clientele I want.  Cancelled him, just had a bad feeling about it.

Had another one texting and ringing today saying he wants to book and that his friend recommended me.  I smell bullshit, I've only seen a handful of clients since starting, none of which seem the type to even tell their mates they punt, let alone pass on WG's numbers!!

It's going to be a tight week but I'm not seeing these fuckers.

Sounds like you dodged a few bullets  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 29 February 2016, 08:56:50 pm
Quote from: meetingdiversity on 29 February 2016, 02:10:35 pm
When they try to make a booking without giving a definate time. Instead of saying 4pm they say 4pm possibly. Almost like I am mystic meg and can read what they really mean.  Jesus.... Just give a time it isn't rocket science.


This - Potential client texts to apparently book, after a few texts I ask him to call to arrange, we have a quick chat, he says he wants this that and the other, I'm trying to be as polite as possible to get an actual time out of him, we Finally agree on 11am in the morning, I tell him all he needs to do now is confirm by text before 9am and I will give him my postcode then....He then texts asking if I have a strap on!!!!!! For fuck sake not only do I say it several times in my profile, there are even photo's of them in my free gallery !!  :FF


I just referred him back to read my profile  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 29 February 2016, 10:40:24 pm
Yep these types make my piss boil!Had a text wanker today asking what services I do.Referred him to my profile.He said 'You do kissing and Owo'.Yep.'Do you do Anal and Swallow'.Nope.3 times I asked him when he wanted to book to get another text on about kissing and oral on each other.Finally he said he would ring later today with a time only an hour later to text bollocks about kissing me everywhere.Ignored.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 01 March 2016, 11:35:23 am
Managed just about every red flag going in one message:

"Hello how are you ?

I am 53 year old i hope that is not to old for you. (I explicitly state on my profile there is no upper age limit)

I have been on my own a very long time i divorced 13yrs
ago and been bringing up my son. (Irrelevant twaddle)
I miss being close and intimate and i would love to be close to you.
I love french kissing touching and just being very passionate.
Do you like to kiss ? and can I ask if you smoke as I don't. (This info is already on my profile)
It would be just wonderful to make love to you (This is work - I don't 'make love' I fuck, shag, or have sex.)
Also can we make love without a condom I have not done that
since I was married and that was 13yrs ago, I would love to
experience that again with you as you seem a passionate type
of lady. (And a bareback request as if the rest was not enough)

I am looking for someone to get to know and maybe meet regular." (Massive red flag. These ones NEVER rebook if they do even show up the first time.)

I did the usual - quoted him my rate for bb which is ?100,000 per hour and funnily enough, he read and deleted my message within minutes. Wonder why?

Even more worrying: he has 13 positive feedbacks.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 01 March 2016, 12:02:47 pm
Quote from: Nova on 01 March 2016, 11:35:23 am
(I explicitly state on my profile there is no upper age limit)

This one happens to me often, too. What I've found is that a lot of 50+ men actually feel genuinely self-conscious seeing folks in their 20s. It might be annoying to have them fish for reassurance, but that's all it is usually, tbh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 01 March 2016, 12:05:13 pm
So he misses being intimate but has clearly been shagging wgs as he has feedback?I do honestly think they think we are thick!Just like the idiots who ring asking for details and swear blind they have not contacted you before...had this yesterday.I sent him a text immediately afterwards and told him what dates he had rung how long we had spoken for and that he had even booked but failed to confirm between 5pm and 9pm as asked. :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 01 March 2016, 12:08:36 pm
Just had a couple of weeks of this sort of silly email wanting lots of reassurance and whittering on about their history and bad divorces and it rarely comes to anything even if you email back quite positively. Final straw came with one of these types when he finally asked how long he should book for and what would he get in a hour booking that he could not get in 30 mins..this was after him telling me all about how nervous and low in confidence he is..so suddenly he thinks he will sail through a 30 min booking?!?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 01 March 2016, 12:25:01 pm
Quote from: Nova on 01 March 2016, 11:35:23 am


It would be just wonderful to make love to you (This is work - I don't 'make love' I fuck, shag, or have sex.)



I hate that phrase 'make love to you' I don't even like it in my private life, it sounds sick and creepy. Coming from a client much worse  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 01 March 2016, 12:25:39 pm
Had someone email me asking for a potential booking in the future. I replied in less than an hour and his response was pretty much that because of the length of time it took me to reply, they had made other arrangements.

In less than an hour?

Obviously has sent out a mass of emails and took the first person who replied.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 01 March 2016, 12:27:45 pm
Quote from: Roxy101 on 01 March 2016, 12:25:39 pm
Had someone email me asking for a potential booking in the future. I replied in less than an hour and his response was pretty much that because of the length of time it took me to reply, they had made other arrangements.

In less than an hour?

Obviously has sent out a mass of emails and took the first person who replied.
Ah yes the old working girl lotto game...so very boring!I tend to give these types only one more chance and then tell them if they are in such a hurry then to use the number provided and I block their email address.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 01 March 2016, 10:39:53 pm
Email 1: Hi I saw your profile and I like the pictures you have and they have me curious to see more of you?
***his phone number***

My response: I will be adding some more soon. Please get back in touch if you'd like to book, following the procedure on my profile.

Email 2: Thanks for the reply.
So how about I take some pictures for your profile? Even some movies if you fancy. With your camera for your profile.
And before you get suspicious I am not after a freebe, merely looking after.
What do you think? Xxx

Yawn not a freebie but 'looking after' and how about paying for my time like everyone else, and noticing that I don't allow pics to be taken, especially not by a piss taker like him

 ??? ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lilith on 02 March 2016, 08:15:17 am
Phone text (It's written clearly, two times, in my ad, no text) :

- Hello! - blah blah, presentation - I would like this and that for X amount
No answer.
10 min later same number's calling.
- Hi! I just wrote to you and you didn't answer.
- Because I don't answer to texts as clearly said in my ad...
- So, I was saying I'd like" this and that" for x amount.
- First, I don't do "this and that", second, I do set my prices BY MYSELF, third, for this amount I can maybe shake your hand and speak to you for five minutes.
- Dirty whore!
- You just got rejected by a dirty whore. Have a nice day *clic*

*******
Email.

- Hello, my name is - blah blah, presentation - can you please give me some information on what you offer?
I send the usual info mail. Clean, polite and inviting.
- I'm glad to hear back from you. Come to - address - at x pm (45min later).
- Pizza hut is glad to inform you that your pizza will be delivered in 45min at x address. Obviously we won't divulge your name and address to anyone.

The idiot had the nerve to write me back. Vulgar and angry obviously.

I know, I'm kind of a smartass and it will put me in bad situations but... you know, sometimes, it feels good.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 02 March 2016, 08:45:31 am

Own me forever I become your complete property. I'm completely extreme and bizarre slave, I want to swallow every single shit from your bum and all yoyr piss, vomit etc. Plus I dream of having my teeth kicked out by yoyr metal heels? My balls crushed completely flat, cigarettes burning of every cm of my face? My eyes made blind using your heels? Xx
 
Now I'm pretty extreme but Jesus Christ!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 02 March 2016, 04:57:58 pm
Via Text:

Hi there , I'm sure you're quite busy . But could I please make a booking if you're available . You're defiantly what I'm looking for . I'm 23 work In London as a stock broker for ****** and ******* blonde and about 5ft 10 . Hope you're free . Thanks , N****** xx

Yawns & tosses into TW bin. Next!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 02 March 2016, 09:18:05 pm
Oh my word my TW cup brimmeth over, these two received just now:

Hi my name is Michael im a older gent do you do meetings with older gent please I like french kissing gently sucking your nipples and giving you oral im not very big where it counts and dont have full sex some of the girls on adult work have said my toung is very good I come from the isle off wight would you be interest in doing a1hour meeting slightly cheaper please as it cost me 25pound in boat and train fares thanks Michael

Hi
So I was wondering if you fancied some naughty play time and a bit of photography or movie fun (your camera and I'm not after a freeby)
I can come straight from work if you are free tomorrow evening around 5.30 if I could have a shower quick first that would be perfect
Hope to hear from you
R***
**** ******
Xxxx

F****** hell I despair I really do
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 02 March 2016, 10:38:39 pm
Sure I remember this person texting me ages ago

Hi, Lola. It's ****** here. 80 for 1 gram. Very strong, not mixed. I got your number from adult work. Save my number for your clients x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 03 March 2016, 12:24:47 am
Quote from: lilith on 02 March 2016, 08:15:17 am
Phone text (It's written clearly, two times, in my ad, no text) :

- Hello! - blah blah, presentation - I would like this and that for X amount
No answer.
10 min later same number's calling.
- Hi! I just wrote to you and you didn't answer.
- Because I don't answer to texts as clearly said in my ad...
- So, I was saying I'd like" this and that" for x amount.
- First, I don't do "this and that", second, I do set my prices BY MYSELF, third, for this amount I can maybe shake your hand and speak to you for five minutes.
- Dirty whore!
- You just got rejected by a dirty whore. Have a nice day *clic*

*******
Email.

- Hello, my name is - blah blah, presentation - can you please give me some information on what you offer?
I send the usual info mail. Clean, polite and inviting.
- I'm glad to hear back from you. Come to - address - at x pm (45min later).
- Pizza hut is glad to inform you that your pizza will be delivered in 45min at x address. Obviously we won't divulge your name and address to anyone.

The idiot had the nerve to write me back. Vulgar and angry obviously.

I know, I'm kind of a smartass and it will put me in bad situations but... you know, sometimes, it feels good.
Quote
You just got rejected by a dirty whore. Have a nice day *clic*
- HA! I would be using this one.  lol. I can be a smartass as well, it defo feels good. The amount of times I have had dumb shits lowering my rates, I advice them that there is a male escort next door who would fuck them in the ass for that amount of money and they will also be shat on for free. Only extras to pay for is for rimming (on the escort, not them) That's a great deal not to be missed. That ends the conversation.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 03 March 2016, 08:04:58 am
Quote from: Roxy101 on 02 March 2016, 10:38:39 pm
Sure I remember this person texting me ages ago

Hi, Lola. It's ****** here. 80 for 1 gram. Very strong, not mixed. I got your number from adult work. Save my number for your clients x
I've had this too a few times
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 03 March 2016, 12:10:10 pm
Unfucking believable.Just had some wannabe pimp email me on AW telling me he works in a 4 star hotel and he often has guys ask him where they can get a hooker so basically if I give him a 30 per cent cut he will arrange these bookings for me.This is a guy who has feedback as a punter so he could just tell guys where to look for escorts but no he wants to be huggy bear.Arsehole!What makes it worse is his AW nickname looks to be his actual name and year of birth..discrete eh?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 03 March 2016, 12:42:20 pm
I'm on tour in Edinburgh atm, and I'm in a shit mood to start with as I'm not feeling well and decided to sleep for a while and see if it helps, got woken up by this strange phonecall..

Him: hello are you in Edinburgh?
Me: yes, I'm on tour here
Him: will you come to Glasgow?
Me: well I may in the future but I haven't got anything booked (if he had read my profile he'd know I'm a student and only tour when I'm off)
Him: well when are you coming to Glasgow?
Me: I don't know yet
Him: well when you do, do you have anywhere to work from?
Me: well no, I haven't booked anything and I arrange that myself
Him: well do you do filming?
Me: no, bye.

Also got some pest who keeps texting me bollocks with 'mmm' at the end, someone who keeps ringing me every ten minutes, missed his first couple of calls but now I'm just not answering to someone who's that insistent, I could be with a client ffs, and another who keeps texting me baby, telling me he's a big black man and ringing constantly so I won't answer to him either.

It may just be because I'm unwell on tour so I'm getting more annoyed than usual but I'm just going to switch my phone off so these pests can't bother me
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 03 March 2016, 02:24:10 pm
The anatomy of a timewaster

"Hi poppy, i will endeavour to see you next week,do not want to confirm right away as hate cancelling etc. suggestion babe ,do some jeans or tights shots for your gallery,that will really show off that 40 incher! You sure your not related to ivygrace bbw. On here? Thought you were her at first!

Ok,every girl has a dick preference, me wise ,well average ,above average length though good girth. It is nice hearing sometimes,"oh my,that's a fat one" . I suppose I have a fat cock! Do you like fat ones? It is certainly chunky,nice big head too.

I see your shaved,that's fine but I do love a hairy pussy like a clyda Rosen. I wonder do you have a good spreader if left alone? Just curious Hun.x"

1 - member since 2012, not one feedback
2 - doesn't want to make a booking yet 'just in case'
3 - wants to talk about his dick. which frankly for me to be interested in hearing about would have to spurt rainbows and/or cash
4 - attempt to open a conversation about my foof
5 - tells me what pictures I should be posting
6 - 'hun'  :-X

NEXT
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: K47 on 03 March 2016, 02:35:54 pm
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 03 March 2016, 02:24:10 pm
I suppose I have a fat cock! Do you like fat ones?

that made me laugh, imagine if guys cocks actually got fat when they put weight on.
I actually dont like fat ones they seem to fall out more during sex and hard to get my mouth around, I only have a small mouth
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat. on 03 March 2016, 03:32:00 pm
Got a txt this morning: Hi this is Peter. I know it's a silly question but could I be turned into Chinese food?
Me: Like Hannibal?
Him: Yes.

 :-X :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 03 March 2016, 03:59:10 pm
Is it Bare fucking Back week or something  ???

WOW...you look absolutely stunning in your profile pictures  and I mean that sincerely! Not only are you incredibly sexy, but you also offer the services I like. Just out of interest, would you consider doing services not listed on your profile for more money like bareback? I am 100% clean...I have to be since I have a long term girlfriend. Plus the fact I can provide an upto date certificate too. I am keen to meet this week for 1 hour. Please could you email me here on adultwork to confirm a time.

I'm 100% genuine and not a time waster . You only have to read my excellent feedback / references on my own profile to see evidence of that. For your information, I'm 38, white, slim, 6ft tall and good looking (so I've been told...just take a look at my profile pics!). I really hope we can meet up and have some fun .

Lots of licks and kisses.

Not only do I not do BB, I have a FAQ stating I only do the services on my profile

Oh yeh and he lists himself as a Male Escort
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 03 March 2016, 04:26:26 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 03 March 2016, 03:59:10 pm
Is it Bare fucking Back week or something  ???



I'm 38, white, slim, 6ft tall and good looking (so I've been told...just take a look at my profile pics!)


Someone needs to reply to him re: the points above:

'SO WHAT?'

I can't cope with arrogant men.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 03 March 2016, 04:30:52 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 03 March 2016, 04:26:26 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 03 March 2016, 03:59:10 pm
Is it Bare fucking Back week or something  ???



I'm 38, white, slim, 6ft tall and good looking (so I've been told...just take a look at my profile pics!)


Someone needs to reply to him re: the points above:

'SO WHAT?'

I can't cope with arrogant men.

Yeh I'm sure someone has, I've iggied him. Time for Thorntons  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 03 March 2016, 05:00:54 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 03 March 2016, 03:59:10 pm
Is it Bare fucking Back week or something  ???

WOW...you look absolutely stunning in your profile pictures  and I mean that sincerely! Not only are you incredibly sexy, but you also offer the services I like. Just out of interest, would you consider doing services not listed on your profile for more money like bareback? I am 100% clean...I have to be since I have a long term girlfriend. Plus the fact I can provide an upto date certificate too. I am keen to meet this week for 1 hour. Please could you email me here on adultwork to confirm a time.

I'm 100% genuine and not a time waster . You only have to read my excellent feedback / references on my own profile to see evidence of that. For your information, I'm 38, white, slim, 6ft tall and good looking (so I've been told...just take a look at my profile pics!). I really hope we can meet up and have some fun .

Lots of licks and kisses.

Not only do I not do BB, I have a FAQ stating I only do the services on my profile

Oh yeh and he lists himself as a Male Escort

Licks and kisses. BARF. That makes my skin crawl.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 03 March 2016, 05:05:55 pm
Yeh me too, the icing on the cake in the worst possible way  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 03 March 2016, 05:08:20 pm
hahaha GRIM indeed.

LICKING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: K47 on 03 March 2016, 05:27:27 pm
does anyone else really hate ear-lickers? it makes me want to scream, it feels so disgusting and tickly
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 03 March 2016, 05:36:01 pm
I haven't had an ear licker at work before, only in my personal life. Ewwwwwwwww :-X

It's the word isn't it. Lick. ~lick~. It just sounds so skeezy and gross. makes me think of an excited Labrador.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 03 March 2016, 06:05:11 pm
Quote from: K47 on 03 March 2016, 05:27:27 pm
does anyone else really hate ear-lickers? it makes me want to scream, it feels so disgusting and tickly


Can't stand having my ears licked it just feels horrible yuk!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 03 March 2016, 06:10:22 pm
Quote from: katrina on 03 March 2016, 06:05:11 pm
Quote from: K47 on 03 March 2016, 05:27:27 pm
does anyone else really hate ear-lickers? it makes me want to scream, it feels so disgusting and tickly


Can't stand having my ears licked it just feels horrible yuk!

Yeh it grosses me out. I always tell them careful you don't swallow my earrings or you'll have to buy me another pair!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 03 March 2016, 06:14:42 pm
Quote from: K47 on 03 March 2016, 05:27:27 pm
does anyone else really hate ear-lickers? it makes me want to scream, it feels so disgusting and tickly

This is one thyng I absolutely hate. It makes my toes curl. Several clients have done this and it's just gross.
My cat does it too and although he is very cute, it is still horrible.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 03 March 2016, 06:51:05 pm
This guy seems to think (a) AW is a social media site and/or (b) he knows me...


Hi sweetness how are you this Thursday evening?

Anything planned for the weekend? Done anything exciting this week?

Are you working in the next few days?

Speak soon xxx

The mind boggles.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 03 March 2016, 07:16:49 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 03 March 2016, 03:59:10 pm
Is it Bare fucking Back week or something  ???

WOW...you look absolutely stunning in your profile pictures  and I mean that sincerely! Not only are you incredibly sexy, but you also offer the services I like. Just out of interest, would you consider doing services not listed on your profile for more money like bareback? I am 100% clean...I have to be since I have a long term girlfriend. Plus the fact I can provide an upto date certificate too. I am keen to meet this week for 1 hour. Please could you email me here on adultwork to confirm a time.

I'm 100% genuine and not a time waster . You only have to read my excellent feedback / references on my own profile to see evidence of that. For your information, I'm 38, white, slim, 6ft tall and good looking (so I've been told...just take a look at my profile pics!). I really hope we can meet up and have some fun .

Lots of licks and kisses.

Not only do I not do BB, I have a FAQ stating I only do the services on my profile

Oh yeh and he lists himself as a Male Escort
Quote
I am 100% clean...I have to be since I have a long term girlfriend
- Yet you want to bareback a prostitute.  Nice One.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 03 March 2016, 08:48:21 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 03 March 2016, 06:51:05 pm
This guy seems to think (a) AW is a social media site and/or (b) he knows me...


Hi sweetness how are you this Thursday evening?

Anything planned for the weekend? Done anything exciting this week?

Are you working in the next few days?

Speak soon xxx

The mind boggles.

That's nothing. I got one guy who has told me all about his mother's fluctuating care needs. Never met him but he witters on and on. One day I'll email him back: 'would you just go fack ysen'

Imagine that. Bet it would make him spit his toasted tea cake out.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 03 March 2016, 08:53:57 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 03 March 2016, 08:48:21 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 03 March 2016, 06:51:05 pm
This guy seems to think (a) AW is a social media site and/or (b) he knows me...


Hi sweetness how are you this Thursday evening?

Anything planned for the weekend? Done anything exciting this week?

Are you working in the next few days?

Speak soon xxx

The mind boggles.

That's nothing. I got one guy who has told me all about his mother's fluctuating care needs. Never met him but he witters on and on. One day I'll email him back: 'would you just go fack ysen'

Imagine that. Bet it would make him spit his toasted tea cake out.

Yeh I know haven't even posted the latest long winded email from a self entitled prick I just received.

Don't wanna bore everyone, just been deluged this week.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 03 March 2016, 08:55:37 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 03 March 2016, 08:53:57 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 03 March 2016, 08:48:21 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 03 March 2016, 06:51:05 pm
This guy seems to think (a) AW is a social media site and/or (b) he knows me...


Hi sweetness how are you this Thursday evening?

Anything planned for the weekend? Done anything exciting this week?

Are you working in the next few days?

Speak soon xxx

The mind boggles.

That's nothing. I got one guy who has told me all about his mother's fluctuating care needs. Never met him but he witters on and on. One day I'll email him back: 'would you just go fack ysen'

Imagine that. Bet it would make him spit his toasted tea cake out.

Yeh I know haven't even posted the latest long winded email from a self entitled prick I just received.

Don't wanna bore everyone, just been deluged this week.

Go on, let's have a laugh... ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 03 March 2016, 08:59:59 pm
Oh man ok you asked for it!

I am working in your area for the next two weeks and would like to enjoy the company of a dirty minded lady who would be prepared to get down and be naughty with me whilst away from home. Regrettably, relationship on the home front has not been too good lately and have been missing out somewhat. I am looking for a purely sexual encounter as I hope matters will work out with the wife but a man needs some fun!

I would like to express my wish is for a naughty full on time and not really looking for a girlfriend experience. Without sounding course I wish to get down to some serious fuck fun and perhaps learn a little more from an lady like you.

To avoid disappointment on my part may be avoided I feel that it would be best of I set out my requirements:

I love a lady who enters into dirty talk, this is not a definite requirement but I am not seeking someone who will just lay back and get on with it with no enthusiasm.

I have a real thing about black stockings ? if you have a Basque I would love to play with you in it, if you don?t I may be able to buy one for you to wear.

I also have a like for various positions. Particularly, like taking the lady up against the wall both front on and from behind and trust that you will be POK with this.

I would also be interested if you would consider sitting on my face as I love to provide oral in this way.

Although, I am not looking for a marathon when we meet I certainly will wish to go more than the once, luckily I have quick recovery demeanour and can come for England. Trust me being pent up and frustrated I really want to make the best of this opportunity.

I not looking for a girlfriend experience and would prefer to get down to some fuck fun as soon as the money bit is out of the way without too much talking. This appeals to me as I am into stranger sex and this type of scenario is a real turn on for me.

For your information I am 30 years of age with a healthy slim build.

My job enables me to fit around you as I am able to plan my diary accordingly. Therefore, I would welcome you advising when would be best for you for a 2 hour session from Tuesday onwards. I am looking at a 2 hour booking with the option of addinga further hour if we click.[/b]

my profile makes it clear I offer primarily GFE. WHAT.A.DICK
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 03 March 2016, 09:07:23 pm
HAHAHA brilliant. Tell him it took you (and everyone else on safe) 2 hours to read his message so can you add that time to the bill?

I just love the way he says he would like to 'learn a little more from a lady like you' (nice one). If he is 'into stranger sex' he's probably quite skilled in terms of 'purely sexual encounters'.

I love the way these guys make the fact they are shagging escorts behind their wives backs out to be some sort of 'boys will be boys, shucks' necessity.

He sounds hugely uneducated to me but I bet he has a great well paid job and is told he is shit hot every day of his life.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 03 March 2016, 09:12:06 pm
Yeh good point (or I fell asleep in the middle of reading it). I'd don't normally reply to these spammers but did send a slightly sarky one back to him along the lines that he clearly was spamming since my speciality is GFE not mindless fucking.. ..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 03 March 2016, 09:17:12 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 03 March 2016, 09:12:06 pm
Yeh good point (or I fell asleep in the middle of reading it). I'd don't normally reply to these spammers but did send a slightly sarky one back to him along the lines that he clearly was spamming since my speciality is GFE not mindless fucking.. ..

:) He won't like that...it'll dent his ego for a nano second.

It could be worse...we could be married to him!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 03 March 2016, 10:14:47 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 03 March 2016, 08:59:59 pm
Oh man ok you asked for it!

I am working in your area for the next two weeks and would like to enjoy the company of a dirty minded lady who would be prepared to get down and be naughty with me whilst away from home. Regrettably, relationship on the home front has not been too good lately and have been missing out somewhat. I am looking for a purely sexual encounter as I hope matters will work out with the wife but a man needs some fun!

I would like to express my wish is for a naughty full on time and not really looking for a girlfriend experience. Without sounding course I wish to get down to some serious fuck fun and perhaps learn a little more from an lady like you.

To avoid disappointment on my part may be avoided I feel that it would be best of I set out my requirements:

I love a lady who enters into dirty talk, this is not a definite requirement but I am not seeking someone who will just lay back and get on with it with no enthusiasm.

I have a real thing about black stockings ? if you have a Basque I would love to play with you in it, if you don?t I may be able to buy one for you to wear.

I also have a like for various positions. Particularly, like taking the lady up against the wall both front on and from behind and trust that you will be POK with this.

I would also be interested if you would consider sitting on my face as I love to provide oral in this way.

Although, I am not looking for a marathon when we meet I certainly will wish to go more than the once, luckily I have quick recovery demeanour and can come for England. Trust me being pent up and frustrated I really want to make the best of this opportunity.

I not looking for a girlfriend experience and would prefer to get down to some fuck fun as soon as the money bit is out of the way without too much talking. This appeals to me as I am into stranger sex and this type of scenario is a real turn on for me.

For your information I am 30 years of age with a healthy slim build.

My job enables me to fit around you as I am able to plan my diary accordingly. Therefore, I would welcome you advising when would be best for you for a 2 hour session from Tuesday onwards. I am looking at a 2 hour booking with the option of addinga further hour if we click.[/b]

my profile makes it clear I offer primarily GFE. WHAT.A.DICK

Yeah just scrolling not reading but had him a while ago.
Along with the Swindon guy, it was roughly the same period.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 03 March 2016, 11:11:29 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 03 March 2016, 08:59:59 pm
Oh man ok you asked for it!

I am working in your area for the next two weeks and would like to enjoy the company of a dirty minded lady who would be prepared to get down and be naughty with me whilst away from home. Regrettably, relationship on the home front has not been too good lately and have been missing out somewhat. I am looking for a purely sexual encounter as I hope matters will work out with the wife but a man needs some fun!

I would like to express my wish is for a naughty full on time and not really looking for a girlfriend experience. Without sounding course I wish to get down to some serious fuck fun and perhaps learn a little more from an lady like you.

To avoid disappointment on my part may be avoided I feel that it would be best of I set out my requirements:

I love a lady who enters into dirty talk, this is not a definite requirement but I am not seeking someone who will just lay back and get on with it with no enthusiasm.

I have a real thing about black stockings ? if you have a Basque I would love to play with you in it, if you don?t I may be able to buy one for you to wear.

I also have a like for various positions. Particularly, like taking the lady up against the wall both front on and from behind and trust that you will be POK with this.

I would also be interested if you would consider sitting on my face as I love to provide oral in this way.

Although, I am not looking for a marathon when we meet I certainly will wish to go more than the once, luckily I have quick recovery demeanour and can come for England. Trust me being pent up and frustrated I really want to make the best of this opportunity.

I not looking for a girlfriend experience and would prefer to get down to some fuck fun as soon as the money bit is out of the way without too much talking. This appeals to me as I am into stranger sex and this type of scenario is a real turn on for me.

For your information I am 30 years of age with a healthy slim build.

My job enables me to fit around you as I am able to plan my diary accordingly. Therefore, I would welcome you advising when would be best for you for a 2 hour session from Tuesday onwards. I am looking at a 2 hour booking with the option of addinga further hour if we click.[/b]

my profile makes it clear I offer primarily GFE. WHAT.A.DICK

Jesus pal they're seeking you out lately  ::) *passes wine*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 04 March 2016, 06:52:11 am
Have you not noticed these longwinded bores rarely actually result in a proper booking!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 04 March 2016, 07:34:10 am
Quote from: Lushblossom on 04 March 2016, 06:52:11 am
Have you not noticed these longwinded bores rarely actually result in a proper booking!

Let me see....yes....they never book....ever....that's why this section exists to post the never evers!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 04 March 2016, 09:34:44 am
I have been on here complaining when clients don't give a time more like around o'clock or maybe 11am.  So now have started replying with to please phone me 30 minutes before they want a booking. Stress free too. :)  There is hope with dealing with these types.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 04 March 2016, 11:37:12 am
Hi (name) nice pics. I see you like orgy fun. Me and wife have sex parties at ours just amoungst few friends, 5 us guys 2 girls. We lady short so wondered if you would like to join and maybe regular. We are friends and enjoy not wearing condoms and everyone brings their health proof everytime. If you happy to show health cert then we would love you join us and happy to pay ?1750 per night X

Nowhere on my profile does it say I like orgy fun so definitely no parties, bareback or discounts. ?1750 for 7 people to fuck me bareback all night? What a fucking joke
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 04 March 2016, 11:47:26 am
Ok this wasn't from a client but unsure where else to put it...I get spam regularly from accountants etc to my work email, usually ignored. For some reason clicked on this one and was particularly offended by the assumption in the following paragraph (in red if you please) that assumed we are all tax avoiding black marketeers  :FF

We are writing to you this year because we have been informed by HM Revenue & Customs that the 2015/16 tax investigations will be concentrating on the Personal Services market.  Although your industry is not illegal, it is against the law to not declare income from it.  HMRC will be clamping down on tax avoidance from April, so we are offering our services to ensure that you do not get caught and receive hefty fines!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: K47 on 04 March 2016, 03:14:23 pm
"Hi, I wanted to ask you if you would like to get regular positive feedback on ukpunting? I have genuine account on there with a few reviews and would like to post up positive reviews about you every so often. In return, would you consider letting me see you at a discounted rate"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 04 March 2016, 03:18:24 pm
Quote from: K47 on 04 March 2016, 03:14:23 pm
"Hi, I wanted to ask you if you would like to get regular positive feedback on ukpunting? I have genuine account on there with a few reviews and would like to post up positive reviews about you every so often. In return, would you consider letting me see you at a discounted rate"

 :FF who would want a review on that site anyway. Not me for one. Yuck what a tosspot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 04 March 2016, 05:00:09 pm
String of texts today.

'Hai Poppy'
'I'm from Indonesian'
'I'm holiday in London'
'can u streptees in front of my friends'
*calls twice*
'maybe 5 person'
'can u?'
*calls three times*
'Im at Hilton park lane hotel'

if it wasn't for what felt like constant calling it probably wouldn't have annoyed me as much as it did!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 04 March 2016, 06:16:38 pm
Quote from: K47 on 04 March 2016, 03:14:23 pm
"Hi, I wanted to ask you if you would like to get regular positive feedback on ukpunting? I have genuine account on there with a few reviews and would like to post up positive reviews about you every so often. In return, would you consider letting me see you at a discounted rate"
Lol like he is genuine anyway!Arsehole!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 04 March 2016, 08:18:56 pm
Quote from: K47 on 04 March 2016, 03:14:23 pm
"Hi, I wanted to ask you if you would like to get regular positive feedback on ukpunting? I have genuine account on there with a few reviews and would like to post up positive reviews about you every so often. In return, would you consider letting me see you at a discounted rate"
Did you get this today? I had pretty much the same message a few months ago along with a few other ladies in Newcastle and we reported him to the admin of the site. As much as I don't want reviews, fake ones interest me even less!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Scarlet on 05 March 2016, 12:39:06 am
Quote from: Cat. on 03 March 2016, 03:32:00 pm
Got a txt this morning: Hi this is Peter. I know it's a silly question but could I be turned into Chinese food?
Me: Like Hannibal?
Him: Yes.

 :-X :-X

He contacted me too!

Him: hi silly question, I'm Peter would you sell me to a Chinese takeaway and keep the money you got for me

Ignored. A month later...

Him: hi I'm Peter I know this sounds silly but do you have any Chinese takeaways near you?

Oh I wonder where this could be leading to!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: K47 on 05 March 2016, 02:35:27 am
Quote from: geordie on 04 March 2016, 08:18:56 pm
Quote from: K47 on 04 March 2016, 03:14:23 pm
"Hi, I wanted to ask you if you would like to get regular positive feedback on ukpunting? I have genuine account on there with a few reviews and would like to post up positive reviews about you every so often. In return, would you consider letting me see you at a discounted rate"
Did you get this today? I had pretty much the same message a few months ago along with a few other ladies in Newcastle and we reported him to the admin of the site. As much as I don't want reviews, fake ones interest me even less!

Yep got that today, Im in Leeds. I agree why would I want a fake review?? and to be honest, the kind of guys that visit those sites I don't want visiting me anyway! I just blocked him
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 05 March 2016, 08:38:07 am
Woke up to these texts:

Prices? sent 2.34am
Don't worry its ok now sent 2.48am

Worried? I was asleep it was the middle of the night after all
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 05 March 2016, 11:14:37 am
"i was just wondering if you're available for incall after 6pm, on your website it says you only work between 11am and 2.15pm!"

MAYBE BECAUSE THOSE ARE MY WORKING HOURS jesus christ  :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 05 March 2016, 11:17:39 am
Quote from: Jezabel on 05 March 2016, 08:38:07 am
Woke up to these texts:

Prices? sent 2.34am
Don't worry its ok now sent 2.48am

Worried? I was asleep it was the middle of the night after all

No because we are inhuman automatons who lay awake in our stockings all night waiting for dick, didn't you get that memo?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 05 March 2016, 11:28:22 am
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 05 March 2016, 11:17:39 am
Quote from: Jezabel on 05 March 2016, 08:38:07 am
Woke up to these texts:

Prices? sent 2.34am
Don't worry its ok now sent 2.48am

Worried? I was asleep it was the middle of the night after all

No because we are inhuman automatons who lay awake in our stockings all night waiting for dick, didn't you get that memo?

Duh stupid me  ::) still nice of him to be concerned about my welfare eh
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 05 March 2016, 11:29:51 am
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 05 March 2016, 11:14:37 am
"i was just wondering if you're available for incall after 6pm, on your website it says you only work between 11am and 2.15pm!"

MAYBE BECAUSE THOSE ARE MY WORKING HOURS jesus christ  :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF

Yeh I've had these, I do wonder about how their brain works here AND how they function in the real world.  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBelleUK on 05 March 2016, 12:57:45 pm

email - i'd really like to book you sometime to meet in person but as you don't show your face on your profile i thought you could go on cam for me and show me what you've got before i book? lot's of other girls have"  - he has only cam feedback
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 05 March 2016, 01:49:29 pm
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 05 March 2016, 11:14:37 am
"i was just wondering if you're available for incall after 6pm, on your website it says you only work between 11am and 2.15pm!"

MAYBE BECAUSE THOSE ARE MY WORKING HOURS jesus christ  :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF

They do it on purpose. I had one call me a while back asking when I am free, I said I am free at 3pm he said ok can I see you at 1? I pretended not to hear and then gave him the run around after I pretended the line was bad and hung up. he texted "Can I see you at one?" I responded sorry, my phone screen is fucked up I can't see your text, he then proceeded to call me 5 times within 10 seconds, then left a voice mail, to which i listened to and it was him wanting to book at 1 to which I sent a text saying, sorry i have no credit to listen to voice mail, he tried call about 10 times after that. He eventually gave up after feeling like an ass and his number was saved as disabled.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 05 March 2016, 01:58:17 pm
A guy texted me yesterday asking if I was free to see him that day.  I texted back to say I was busy.  He then sends a second text asking'You sure you don't have time' so I replied'No or why would I say?'.

Don't they think we know our schedules and whether we are busy or not.....!

I honestly think some see it as an affront if we are busy.  They take it so personally as if they are being 'turned down' .....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 05 March 2016, 02:08:21 pm
I reckon it can also be down to this, the whole time the guy is thinking I want to fuck....I want a naked woman!

So they have tunnel vision (full of porno images!) and so they read your availability/texts but don't take it in.

Ok so some are just knobs too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 05 March 2016, 02:53:43 pm
I think a lot of the time they see us as like an 'informal' business, where everything is negotiable.  And they think they are special and we will change our schedules just for them.

I've even had punters quiz me as to WHY I can't work evenings and tell me how ridiculous it is that I don't, because 'all the men are working' during the day and I'd get more business.  It's like they can't wrap their tiny minds around the fact that we have families and lives away from this. ::)

( I know I sound really angry and anti-client lately lol, I'm really not, it's just PMS week and the timewasters have been out in force!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 05 March 2016, 02:56:25 pm
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 05 March 2016, 02:53:43 pm
I think a lot of the time they see us as like an 'informal' business, where everything is negotiable.  And they think they are special and we will change our schedules just for them.

I've even had punters quiz me as to WHY I can't work evenings and tell me how ridiculous it is that I don't, because 'all the men are working' during the day and I'd get more business.  It's like they can't wrap their tiny minds around the fact that we have families and lives away from this. ::)

( I know I sound really angry and anti-client lately lol, I'm really not, it's just PMS week and the timewasters have been out in force!)

I hear you Poppy for me also. Has there been a full moon or something  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 05 March 2016, 04:05:43 pm
I have never heard from this person before, he just text out of the blue:

"Hello,would you be interested in a monthly overnight arrangement for 350?"

Oh yes the thin promise of a monthly loss of sleep for barely any cash just sounds soo tempting!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 06 March 2016, 10:11:21 am
FFS not on a Sunday  :FF

Enquiry about when I'm available today...gets usual response...from X time... see booking procedure on profile and get this in return:

cool babe, I just wonder if you could make an exception and offer a car meeting? Im not local so its difficult to do any other meeting apart this. Im willing to pick you up where is most convenient to you. :)
 

NO No and NO. Check out the frigging local girls then and don't bother someone who clearly states they don't provide ANYTHING not listed on their profile  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 06 March 2016, 01:19:12 pm
Yesterday evening:

He has a flat, nasal voice, after greetings exchanged asks my prices.
I say if he's got my number, he should be able to see them.
Mutters something about them not coming up...
Asks my age
Asks my dress size
Asks my boob size (i.e. everything on my profiles)
Then - asks if he can hear my "sex noises"
Incredulous response from me, beginning with "No!"
Says he wants to hear what I'd sound like in order to decide whether to book me
I made that decision for him...

Now saved in my phone as 'Window licker'. Give me strength.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 06 March 2016, 01:38:19 pm
Oh my word Kay that guy had the cheek of 20 men >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 06 March 2016, 01:41:07 pm
Quote from: Kay on 06 March 2016, 01:19:12 pm

Now saved in my phone as 'Window licker'. Give me strength.

Flat, nasal voice...window licker...classic  ;D made my day
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 06 March 2016, 05:10:51 pm
Can you shit in my mouth while I piss in yours?


....If I even offered this...HOW would that work?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 06 March 2016, 08:22:33 pm
After an email exchange that was vaguely timewastery, (decided to give him the benefit of the doubt) chap decides he can't afford me, sorry to have wasted your time blah blah I say ok take care.

Today get an email from him 'babe is there anyway I can pay 100 for an hour (my half hour rate) because I think I'll spend a lot of it just eating you out and half an hour might feel too rushed'

Fuck offfffffffff
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 06 March 2016, 11:25:50 pm
I got this this afternoon :
This afternoon, in you?

Xxxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 07 March 2016, 10:34:38 am
Email exchange from a 0 feedback client. On my day off today.
'Hi do you like dominate men?'
Me: Please refer to the submissive tab of my profile'
'When are available for incalls'
Me: Can you read my profile in detail chick. It has all the information you need including working times etc.
'Will leave it. Sorry but you dont sound very approachable'


What cos i dare ask him to read something for himself!?
I aint spoon feeding these idiots no more!

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Carolines secret on 07 March 2016, 11:04:43 am
Quote from: MrsTomHardy on 07 March 2016, 10:34:38 am
Email exchange from a 0 feedback client. On my day off today.
'Hi do you like dominate men?'
Me: Please refer to the submissive tab of my profile'
'When are available for incalls'
Me: Can you read my profile in detail chick. It has all the information you need including working times etc.
'Will leave it. Sorry but you dont sound very approachable'


What cos i dare ask him to read something for himself!?
I aint spoon feeding these idiots no more!

 
oh yea they don t like it when you are not playing their way  or sayin  things they like because they are trying to frantically get off !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 07 March 2016, 11:10:44 am
Quote from: Miss Carolines secret on 07 March 2016, 11:04:43 am
oh yea they don t like it when you are not playing their way  or sayin  things they like because they are trying to frantically get off !!!

I just put 'Youre contacting me, wanting informatiom thats already listed on my profile, on my day off. I dont spend hours updating and writing it for it to be ignored. Sorry.

Bit harsh i suppose.. meh. Lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 07 March 2016, 11:51:03 am
Woke up in a vile mood due to pain and probable pmt..... Therefore not in the mood to stand any nonsense. And here's  one thing I hate.

Guys who think they can use their schedule as an excuse to mess you around there by demonstrating they think your schedule is of no importance whatsoever. I had this twice lately.

The second one asks for an appointment last Monday but  doesn't confirm at the agreed time so doesn't get the appointment.  He emails over the weekend asking for an appointment today, so I say fine but you must confirm at the agreed time for the appointment to go ahead and what does he do?

Casually texts an hour late asking for an appointment an hour later, so I say no I'm not available then blah blah, then the following exchange:

DICKHEAD: Oh I see, yes I was caught up with work this morning and wasn't sure what time I could get over. No problem, hopefully next time x

ME: Since that's happened twice now unless you have a definite time and can stick to both that and a confirmation time - No. I run to a schedule, appointment times are specific for a reason,  Reliable potential clients take precedence

I often don't respond when guys come up with these crap excuses but today I couldn't help myself and I think he needed telling.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kazzle on 07 March 2016, 02:53:19 pm
Quote
I run to a schedule, appointment times are specific for a reason,  Reliable potential clients take precedence

I think I'm going to put that in bold at the top of my profile - not that most of them will think it applies to them.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 07 March 2016, 05:44:14 pm
Quote from: Kazzle on 07 March 2016, 02:53:19 pm
Quote
I run to a schedule, appointment times are specific for a reason,  Reliable potential clients take precedence

I think I'm going to put that in bold at the top of my profile - not that most of them will think it applies to them.  :FF

Yeah, I think most don't care and/or think their time is more valuble then ours. I recently had a guy ask for my postcode to check distance and heard nothing further for about two hours when I recieved a text of "on the street now what number?"  What a surprise I didn't get a response when I told him off and declined to see him.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 08 March 2016, 08:55:01 am
woke up to:

Alryt wen r u 3?

If that isn't an illiterate man I don't know what else to think. These poor people cannot read nor write.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 08 March 2016, 09:32:12 am
From a guy who messed me around a few days ago when he kept moving the time of the booking and then cancelled as he'd had some bad news (so I've never met him):

"Do you do a three some two blokes and you're self just a question.My mate at work thinks you're gorgeous he wants to see you I did say I will ask you if the answer is no I did say we get together and do a booking with you my mate first for 30mins then me ok xx"

I assume by "my mate for 30 mins and then me" he thinks they'll share a 1 hour rate between them rather than paying for two 30 min bookings  ::)




And another one from yesterday:

"Well I want to book u for 3 hours first and if your good then the whole night I like hardcore sex and partying are u interested?"

GFE escort and drug free here actually... Also - isn't 3 hours rather a long booking for a "see if you're good" taster session
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 08 March 2016, 10:20:17 am
"Hi sweetness seen your add on vivastreet and like to book you today if possible for half hour could you let me no watt time best for u if your not book up any hidden extra sexy"

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrifleLover on 08 March 2016, 12:06:16 pm
Quote from: MrsTomHardy on 07 March 2016, 11:10:44 am
Quote from: Miss Carolines secret on 07 March 2016, 11:04:43 am
oh yea they don t like it when you are not playing their way  or sayin  things they like because they are trying to frantically get off !!!

I just put 'Youre contacting me, wanting informatiom thats already listed on my profile, on my day off. I dont spend hours updating and writing it for it to be ignored. Sorry.

Bit harsh i suppose.. meh. Lol x

You have just summed up exactly how I feel! I always say read my profile as it is there for a reason. I even make everything on my profile SIMPLE for men to read yet it is just ignored xxxx  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Carolines secret on 08 March 2016, 12:15:52 pm
This morning text from booked client "can I meet you for a shag in the loo"?
 while I'm waiting at the bar for the said  client to turn up at which point I just left  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 08 March 2016, 08:19:01 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 03 March 2016, 08:59:59 pm

I certainly will wish to go more than the once, luckily I have quick recovery demeanour

What the fuck does that even mean.... is he going to stare, with a Rain Man type intensity, into middle distance whilst his balls refill themselves perhaps? What a massive cockmuncher he sounds!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 08 March 2016, 08:37:28 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 08 March 2016, 08:19:01 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 03 March 2016, 08:59:59 pm

I certainly will wish to go more than the once, luckily I have quick recovery demeanour

What the fuck does that even mean.... is he going to stare, with a Rain Man type intensity, into middle distance whilst his balls refill themselves perhaps? What a massive cockmuncher he sounds!

His heels will let off steam also and he'll make a sort of revving noise.
Tell him you have quick going off turds mentality.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 08 March 2016, 09:35:07 pm
I had a guy offer me 300 and a mcflury today. ,... x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 08 March 2016, 10:11:09 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 08 March 2016, 08:37:28 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 08 March 2016, 08:19:01 pm
Quote from: Jezabel on 03 March 2016, 08:59:59 pm

I certainly will wish to go more than the once, luckily I have quick recovery demeanour

What the fuck does that even mean.... is he going to stare, with a Rain Man type intensity, into middle distance whilst his balls refill themselves perhaps? What a massive cockmuncher he sounds!

His heels will let off steam also and he'll make a sort of revving noise.
Tell him you have quick going off turds mentality.

Oh my god this has cheered me up so much  ;D rain man!!!

Had one who had text before to enquire about today and was polite, so when he messaged today asking if he could 'pound my pussy at lunchtime' I (mistakenly) didn't immediately discount him as a TW. Though when he replied the next time asking if he could 'spunk on my open pussy after sex' he got a telling off. He's now saved as 'twat' in my phone.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 09 March 2016, 10:59:33 pm
A text received about an hour ago: Hi gorgeous are you available? x

Me: Sorry I only work daytimes xx

Him: I'll pay extra babe? I'm not some creepy old man lol I'm 28 and stupidly horny at the min xx

I ignore, then he texts ??x



I was tempted to reply with "No thankyou I don't like offers of extra money and I like old men but yes you are stupid I'll agree with that"  Didn't want to encourage the idiot so just ignored. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 10 March 2016, 06:49:40 am
Just received this email on AW

Hi i have a family and kids but would love to meet you as its hard for me to get away as im sure you would understand. As im picking the kids up i have to pop into my fathers empty house to check on his cat. Was wondering if it is possible to pick you up on the way have a bit of fun then drop you back before i get the kids if this is possible one of the days i would love it
 

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 10 March 2016, 12:08:26 pm
Some strange folk out there.
Text from numpty who can't read/won't read asking where I am based (Leeds City Centre 3 mins from the bus station.Its pretty specific really)
Then he asks rates he then proceeds to send random street names to me ovviously trying to guess where I am!Why?I already told him to ring and make an appointment he would get the street name etc then.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 10 March 2016, 02:17:34 pm
Same knobhead still didn't ring then at 12:20 sends a text asking if I can do 12:30..er with no adress or appointment and 10 mins notice..nope!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 10 March 2016, 09:17:02 pm
Text received at 1.57am: Its late n I'm sorry luv!! Iv seen u for years on here and other local sites, ur still Phwoooooooar! I'm wondering if your massage skills r top dollar?? Let me know please babe x



Right, so he's been stalking my ads for literally years and suddenly decides in the middle of the night to send me a ridiculous question  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 10 March 2016, 09:24:54 pm
Email from a no feedback member...asking for a meeting in the morning in york (I'm in Leeds and only do incalls or outcalls in Leeds).Oh and could I bring some Charlie he pays well and is respectful.. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 11 March 2016, 08:03:07 pm
Text msg 5th March 01.43am.
U up for some cock tx me I phone u back

Same guy 7th March 22.36pm.

I want to no if I can lick u out and what u look like and I like wearin sexy under   and want u to fuck me   how much and wood u wear some x

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Littlemisslondon on 12 March 2016, 09:57:13 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 10 March 2016, 09:24:54 pm
Email from a no feedback member...asking for a meeting in the morning in york (I'm in Leeds and only do incalls or outcalls in Leeds).Oh and could I bring some Charlie he pays well and is respectful.. ::)

Wetting myself.....!! Respectfully obnoxious? Respectfully Brainless?? Honestly, I bet its guys like that who then moan on the punter pages....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 12 March 2016, 01:22:15 pm
Had a copy & paste oddball pestering over weds/thurs by text. Don't usually have anyone send the same message more than twice.
"Emma..I'm heading to the city I was touring and saw your site. Interested?" then straight after "I have a hotel room booked for the night"It was after 9pm so I text back "no thanks I don't take late night bookings" in hindsight I should have ignored because the "interested?" part is just odd anyway. Half an hour later I get it again. So for a bit of amusement I copied & pasted his text back "i have a hotel room booked" thinking he'd realise he'd sent it to me again, he's doing the rounds on other escorts & would realise I'm taking the piss back. Nope, total fool replied "me too I'm arriving into the city at 10.30 & staying at the Riverside Travel lodge. what services do you offer" OK so he's after a cheap thrill sexting or whatever. I sent my "no thanks I don't take late night bookings" again copy & paste. The following morning I got it twice again before 8am.

I can't fathom how these fools don't realise that they are texting the same person several times & that it's in my phone lol so I'm going to notice it. 10 points for good details though with his venue & arrival time. Cray cray! Saved the number under "Looney tunes".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 12 March 2016, 01:47:02 pm
Some idiot rang me, no hello just 'how much are you?'. Asked him to read my profile, all information is on there he said he couldn't so I asked him where he got my number from, told me it was from a friend so I hung up. Now I've had the following texts..

How much for 15mins tb plz
Can you please tb I am waiting
How much for 15mins tb plz


He's going to be waiting a long fucking time considering I'm Outcalls only today and don't do 15 min Outcalls, plus I charge a high rate for them which I doubt he'd pay :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Carolines secret on 12 March 2016, 02:44:11 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 11 March 2016, 08:03:07 pm
Text msg 5th March 01.43am.
U up for some cock tx me I phone u back

Same guy 7th March 22.36pm.

I want to no if I can lick u out and what u look like and I like wearin sexy under   and want u to fuck me   how much and wood u wear some x


makes your heart sink !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: K47 on 12 March 2016, 04:05:11 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 11 March 2016, 08:03:07 pm
Text msg 5th March 01.43am.
U up for some cock tx me I phone u back

Same guy 7th March 22.36pm.

I want to no if I can lick u out and what u look like and I like wearin sexy under   and want u to fuck me   how much and wood u wear some x

sounds like a 12 year old haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 12 March 2016, 09:27:53 pm
Quote from: geordie on 12 March 2016, 01:47:02 pm
Some idiot rang me, no hello just 'how much are you?'. Asked him to read my profile, all information is on there he said he couldn't so I asked him where he got my number from, told me it was from a friend so I hung up. Now I've had the following texts..

How much for 15mins tb plz
Can you please tb I am waiting
How much for 15mins tb plz


He's going to be waiting a long fucking time considering I'm Outcalls only today and don't do 15 min Outcalls, plus I charge a high rate for them which I doubt he'd pay :FF

Just tell him what your rate is. If someone asked me for my 15 min outcall rate I would tell them the truth, that it is ?140 + travel. If they want to book for an hours outcall and they want me to leave after 15 mins, that is fine with me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 12 March 2016, 09:52:22 pm
Quote from: Nova on 12 March 2016, 09:27:53 pm
Quote from: geordie on 12 March 2016, 01:47:02 pm
Some idiot rang me, no hello just 'how much are you?'. Asked him to read my profile, all information is on there he said he couldn't so I asked him where he got my number from, told me it was from a friend so I hung up. Now I've had the following texts..

How much for 15mins tb plz
Can you please tb I am waiting
How much for 15mins tb plz


He's going to be waiting a long fucking time considering I'm Outcalls only today and don't do 15 min Outcalls, plus I charge a high rate for them which I doubt he'd pay :FF

Just tell him what your rate is. If someone asked me for my 15 min outcall rate I would tell them the truth, that it is ?140 + travel. If they want to book for an hours outcall and they want me to leave after 15 mins, that is fine with me.

Yep, you have nothing to lose there and lots to gain :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 12 March 2016, 10:02:31 pm
Yep, think I was in a bit of a mood but I wouldn't have accepted his booking anyway with his rudeness on the phone and his stupid texts
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: K47 on 12 March 2016, 10:28:45 pm
Idiot just text me:

Him: hi do you do 15 mins
me: no sorry
him: ok how much for 15 mins

what?? I just said i didnt do it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 13 March 2016, 01:50:47 am
got my phone on as doing calls and cam tonight, and i get this text

hi bb.  seen ur pix and ur sexy.  really want to do a sex wee on ur titts.  how much?


ho long since avid merrion was on telly now?  sex wee?  really?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Teddy Bear on 13 March 2016, 02:07:32 am
Idiot #1: I've got ?70 what can you do for me? I only do hour bookings minimum. How much? ?xxx. So you can't do anything for ?70? ???

Idiot #2: Do you see black men? Of course. So are you fucking racist or something?! ??? I said yes I DO see black men is he deaf or what?

Idiot #3: What time do you finish? 6AM. Can I book for 10AM? No sorry I said I finish at 6AM. What whore finishes at 6AM? This one. *CLICK*

I despair I really do.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 13 March 2016, 01:26:55 pm
todays latest.  not trying to be creepy, but trying to scare girls into using his services.  urgh.  if i need a locksmith, i have a phone, and google.  i'm also not in the city he was attending to the WGs flat

Quote
Hello,

I am a fully insured and accredited Locksmith. Yesterday i was asked to attend a flat in XXXXX where a girl was working from.
A client returned to the property and tried to kick the door in.
I have increased the security for her to prevent this happening again.
I am mailing you today to offer this same service. I am extremely discreet and efficient. I am available 24 hours a day and can be contacted on XXXXX. I am a professional and not doing this to be creepy. I value my job highly and this is just a business offer.

Kind Regards
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Carolines secret on 13 March 2016, 01:35:08 pm
Hi I saw your ad on aw im in my 80s i cant get it up and am imputant , do i have to use a condom, i doubt anything will come out at my age. ???
well i had to ask, if you cant get it up and your in that way how do you think you may be able to perform?
oh it has happened occasionally if im so aroused, my wife will be out that morning i can come to you and try ?
 i said to him no matter what age you are i insist on condoms for sex so thanks for your call , bye for now  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 13 March 2016, 04:12:12 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 13 March 2016, 01:26:55 pm
todays latest.  not trying to be creepy, but trying to scare girls into using his services.  urgh.  if i need a locksmith, i have a phone, and google.  i'm also not in the city he was attending to the WGs flat

Quote
Hello,

I am a fully insured and accredited Locksmith. Yesterday i was asked to attend a flat in XXXXX where a girl was working from.
A client returned to the property and tried to kick the door in.
I have increased the security for her to prevent this happening again.
I am mailing you today to offer this same service. I am extremely discreet and efficient. I am available 24 hours a day and can be contacted on XXXXX. I am a professional and not doing this to be creepy. I value my job highly and this is just a business offer.


You've gotta hand it to the guy for being enterprising! haha
Kind Regards
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sam T on 13 March 2016, 05:56:11 pm
Him: Hello - I came 2 u a while ago and I believe we had a mutually enjoyable session and that u enjoyed my body. I am thinking of coming again perhaps next Friday and was wondering whether u would consider a discount?

Me: No sorry.

Then BLOCK
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 13 March 2016, 06:24:30 pm
Phone call:
Him 'hello I seen you last week in (the strippers I go to) and you gave me your number, are you free for an incall?'
Me 'no I didn't and no I'm Outcalls only today'
Text from same person:
Him 'I'm sure I was talking to you last night I was meant too meet you outside dixy chicken! X'
Me 'you have me mistaken for someone else'
Him 'OK'

Like what the actual fuck? I think this must be someone I know having me on
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 13 March 2016, 06:56:57 pm
Quote from: K47 on 12 March 2016, 10:28:45 pm
Idiot just text me:

Him: hi do you do 15 mins
me: no sorry
him: ok how much for 15 mins

what?? I just said i didnt do it!

Fuckwit  :FF

I had a guy today...politely ask if I do 15 minutes for ?40.  Err well well just read my profile you stupid fuck! Since my shortest booking is 30 minutes and even if I did 15 minutes why the fuck would I do it for ?40  :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: K47 on 13 March 2016, 10:21:57 pm
Quote from: Tantraman Sam on 13 March 2016, 05:56:11 pm
Him: Hello - I came 2 u a while ago and I believe we had a mutually enjoyable session and that u enjoyed my body. I am thinking of coming again perhaps next Friday and was wondering whether u would consider a discount?

Me: No sorry.

Then BLOCK

Haha that made me laugh, some guys are so deluded  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 14 March 2016, 09:44:46 pm
Him: u available today?
Me: yes I have some availability, would you like to visit?
Him: what services do you offer
Me: *audible sigh and eyeroll* it's all on my profile, have a read and get back to me.
Him: do you like black cock

*block*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 14 March 2016, 10:50:52 pm
do you want to fuck??

(no... i want alll your money and give me a back rub..... geez.....)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 15 March 2016, 09:33:45 am
Well this one is a new one to me!

Hi
I am looking for a sexy girl to pay to help me do my fantasy
I love to do a nude run xx

After I said I wouldn't do this:

OK

Shame I love to fuck you and have a good hand job then short run xx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 15 March 2016, 10:15:05 am
Does the famous call and hang up to see if your phone is on. Then sends texts:
"Is that you in the sexy pic?"
Proceeded by,
"I want us to have sex"

I was going to respond with my "Oh sorry I am unavailabe but you are welcomed to fuck my husband, he is bi and will love your cock, he has a very tight ass and makes it wet by shitting a little" That ok?" But then thought, argh, he clearly just wants a response so think I'll just leave it.

Another one called, mumbled something about condom, he was breaking up so asked him to repeat himself, he just hung up. It's exhausting when this is what you are faced with first thing in the morning. Not a good start to my day. Think I'm about to crack open a bottle of mulled wine now. Goodbye diet. Anyone want some? I'm sending it virtually. Here. Cheers! Drink up ladies. sigh!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 15 March 2016, 11:55:19 am
Those guys who call and hang up? I race to block them before they can text. mwhahaha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 15 March 2016, 12:09:48 pm
By email and text! "hi k notts sex richard xx"

And one from AW,

"i'm interested in a meet where after a short massage you and i play with your pussy and tits. the meet is more a focus on you as it's a turn-on for me to see a girl wanking and sucking her tits & my cock. intercourse may be just a few minutes at the end
 
so that you can make an informed decision i'm 60 years old of indian origin with a cut cock.

i can't use my i-phone to make the appointment as all modern phones record calls and text numbers (in memory & bills) because i don't want my partner to find out so if we are to meet then you'll need to use and give me details through aw email system please."

Buy a phone with credit already on it then muppet!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 15 March 2016, 12:15:24 pm
One of those guys who thinks we all hate penetrative sex and would be so much happier with them playing with our tits. Eew.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 15 March 2016, 02:36:14 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 15 March 2016, 12:09:48 pm
By email and text! "hi k notts sex richard xx"

And one from AW,

"i'm interested in a meet where after a short massage you and i play with your pussy and tits. the meet is more a focus on you as it's a turn-on for me to see a girl wanking and sucking her tits & my cock. intercourse may be just a few minutes at the end
 
so that you can make an informed decision i'm 60 years old of indian origin with a cut cock.

i can't use my i-phone to make the appointment as all modern phones record calls and text numbers (in memory & bills) because i don't want my partner to find out so if we are to meet then you'll need to use and give me details through aw email system please."

Buy a phone with credit already on it then muppet!

He wants you to wank your tits?! That does not sound pleasurable
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 15 March 2016, 09:47:04 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 15 March 2016, 09:33:45 am
Well this one is a new one to me!

Hi
I am looking for a sexy girl to pay to help me do my fantasy
I love to do a nude run xx

After I said I wouldn't do this:

OK

Shame I love to fuck you and have a good hand job then short run xx

A nude run?? What does that mean? He wants you to run in the nude? Where? Round a hotel room? Hotel car park? Up his street?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aleshaxx on 16 March 2016, 07:53:15 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 13 March 2016, 01:50:47 am
got my phone on as doing calls and cam tonight, and i get this text

hi bb.  seen ur pix and ur sexy.  really want to do a sex wee on ur titts.  how much?

ho long since avid merrion was on telly now?  sex wee?  really?
Hahaha  ;D what on earth is a sex wee and how do we kill it! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 16 March 2016, 09:42:33 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 15 March 2016, 09:47:04 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 15 March 2016, 09:33:45 am
Well this one is a new one to me!

Hi
I am looking for a sexy girl to pay to help me do my fantasy
I love to do a nude run xx

After I said I wouldn't do this:

OK

Shame I love to fuck you and have a good hand job then short run xx

A nude run?? What does that mean? He wants you to run in the nude? Where? Round a hotel room? Hotel car park? Up his street?

I'll hazard a guess and say that the only place Just An Escort will be doing a nude run is in his fantasising little mind... Along with whoever else was lucky enough to receive that copy n paste masterpiece lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 16 March 2016, 10:58:06 pm
Via text:Hiya I saw you on twitter.
Me:Ok
Him:What's your name?
Me:Um its on my twitter and you must have gone onto my website to get my number.
Him:Sorry babe was too busy looking at ur crackin tits xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 17 March 2016, 09:54:22 am
I just can't be bothered to read all of this rubbish (received at 3am on AW):


Dear (my name),

This is just a quick note to introduce myself and to ask a few questions about you and your services.

I'm new to the AW site - and escorting in general, hence my lack of feedback. I've never visited an escort before and after looking at your profile, I think you might be just what I'm looking for.

Firstly, I'm 29 years old and still a virgin. This will be my first time - literally. I have no idea how long I should book for, do you have any ideas? I'd like my first time to be special, at least...

I should probably say at this point that I've also never kissed a woman before, let alone french kissed. Is that something you could teach me? It sounds like so much fun, but as I said above, I don't want to disappoint you.

Second, can we have a bath or shower together? I quite like the idea of having a shower or sharing a bath before going back to the bedroom to make love. I really haven't a clue about "dom" or "sub" things, but I think for me, just lots of hugs and kisses, followed by sensual lovemaking would be just the ticket! I'm the "romantic" type, so candes, roses, silk sheets - lights off, deep kissing, missionary position, and no sexy makeup, no special lingerie or music. You get the idea ;) I may be a virgin, but at least I have some imagination! Is that your sort of thing too?

Also, are you still shaved down south? I actually tend to prefer the natural look...it's just more feminine and primal to me. If shaved, however, may I ask why? I notice more and more women are doing this and it puzzles me. Really, it does.

Lastly, I'm white (caucasian). Are you all right meeting with someone of my ethnicity? I'm aware some people have preferences and such.

If you have any rules or limits that I don't know about, please let me know.

I look forward to hearing from you, and finding out what it feels like to be inside you!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 17 March 2016, 11:32:39 am
Had someone I've seen once before ask when I'm next available and told him I don't know yet as currently not working due to a cold.

"Oh I don't mind, can I see you still?"

What makes them think that WE don't mind?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 17 March 2016, 02:35:58 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 17 March 2016, 11:32:39 am
Had someone I've seen once before ask when I'm next available and told him I don't know yet as currently not working due to a cold.

"Oh I don't mind, can I see you still?"

What makes them think that WE don't mind?!
cuz we are money hungry  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 17 March 2016, 05:11:21 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 17 March 2016, 09:54:22 am
I just can't be bothered to read all of this rubbish (received at 3am on AW):


Dear (my name),

This is just a quick note to introduce myself and to ask a few questions about you and your services.

I'm new to the AW site - and escorting in general, hence my lack of feedback. I've never visited an escort before and after looking at your profile, I think you might be just what I'm looking for.

Firstly, I'm 29 years old and still a virgin. This will be my first time - literally. I have no idea how long I should book for, do you have any ideas? I'd like my first time to be special, at least...

I should probably say at this point that I've also never kissed a woman before, let alone french kissed. Is that something you could teach me? It sounds like so much fun, but as I said above, I don't want to disappoint you.

Second, can we have a bath or shower together? I quite like the idea of having a shower or sharing a bath before going back to the bedroom to make love. I really haven't a clue about "dom" or "sub" things, but I think for me, just lots of hugs and kisses, followed by sensual lovemaking would be just the ticket! I'm the "romantic" type, so candes, roses, silk sheets - lights off, deep kissing, missionary position, and no sexy makeup, no special lingerie or music. You get the idea ;) I may be a virgin, but at least I have some imagination! Is that your sort of thing too?

Also, are you still shaved down south? I actually tend to prefer the natural look...it's just more feminine and primal to me. If shaved, however, may I ask why? I notice more and more women are doing this and it puzzles me. Really, it does.

Lastly, I'm white (caucasian). Are you all right meeting with someone of my ethnicity? I'm aware some people have preferences and such.

If you have any rules or limits that I don't know about, please let me know.

I look forward to hearing from you, and finding out what it feels like to be inside you!

Do you think he'll have his list on the bedside table?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 17 March 2016, 05:46:06 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 17 March 2016, 09:54:22 am
I just can't be bothered to read all of this rubbish (received at 3am on AW):


Dear (my name),

This is just a quick note to introduce myself and to ask a few questions about you and your services.

I'm new to the AW site - and escorting in general, hence my lack of feedback. I've never visited an escort before and after looking at your profile, I think you might be just what I'm looking for.

Firstly, I'm 29 years old and still a virgin. This will be my first time - literally. I have no idea how long I should book for, do you have any ideas? I'd like my first time to be special, at least...

I should probably say at this point that I've also never kissed a woman before, let alone french kissed. Is that something you could teach me? It sounds like so much fun, but as I said above, I don't want to disappoint you.

Second, can we have a bath or shower together? I quite like the idea of having a shower or sharing a bath before going back to the bedroom to make love. I really haven't a clue about "dom" or "sub" things, but I think for me, just lots of hugs and kisses, followed by sensual lovemaking would be just the ticket! I'm the "romantic" type, so candes, roses, silk sheets - lights off, deep kissing, missionary position, and no sexy makeup, no special lingerie or music. You get the idea ;) I may be a virgin, but at least I have some imagination! Is that your sort of thing too?

Also, are you still shaved down south? I actually tend to prefer the natural look...it's just more feminine and primal to me. If shaved, however, may I ask why? I notice more and more women are doing this and it puzzles me. Really, it does.

Lastly, I'm white (caucasian). Are you all right meeting with someone of my ethnicity? I'm aware some people have preferences and such.

If you have any rules or limits that I don't know about, please let me know.

I look forward to hearing from you, and finding out what it feels like to be inside you!

poor thing. It's not called making love if you are not in love. sounds odd saying I made love to a hooker :-X What's Love got to do with it got to do with it. Oh what's love got to do with it. Reminds me of someone who contacted me requesting that we dim the lights and slowly undress whilst kissing to slow sensual music. but silk sheets, roses and candles ;D ahhhhahahahah There is only so much I can lie and act. No, just No. Stop it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 17 March 2016, 05:47:00 pm
Oh JAE that's hilarious (sorry didn't quote, am on ancient crappy phone.)

I take it you took his flower on cream silk sheets with rose petals strewn all about as requested?

 ;D

H xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 17 March 2016, 06:00:31 pm
Mr. Fun (yes really.)"Mr Fun here. How are you today? Weekend coming!!"

Me:Hi, please note this is my booking line, not a chat line, therefore I respond to serious and genuine bookings only. In this connection are you looking to meet tonight? Kisses Hadley

No response. Quelle surprise.

Tonight, a week later (17.03) Mr. Fun. "So, having a Guiness tonight?"

No response from me obviously. Mr. Fun? Mr. Fuckwit more like :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 17 March 2016, 06:17:49 pm
Just received this email:

how much for bareback

How dare he just assume stupid little f***er. Getting in a bad mood now...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 17 March 2016, 06:25:29 pm
12:30am: Do you do hardsports?

10 minutes later  :)

You watching the football tonight?


.....le sigh. ...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 17 March 2016, 06:37:49 pm
Quote from: Riverprice on 17 March 2016, 06:25:29 pm
.....le sigh. ...

Le Sigh......love it, done a few of those today I can tell you......
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: OFFS on 17 March 2016, 10:35:30 pm
I get text tennis asking for me do an outcall to a lorry at 1am and politely say no thanks. Get a rude reply which I ignore, and then at 1am the following comes in via text

.....just as I though here now sure I carnt get u out 2 come and set on my of bed face and tell me u love me

I politely replied in the morning, once again no thanks, but I can point you towards free English classes to improve your grammar and spelling and to possibly search online for etiquette when booking an escort. 



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 18 March 2016, 02:01:53 pm
Quote from: BJC on 16 March 2016, 09:42:33 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 15 March 2016, 09:47:04 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 15 March 2016, 09:33:45 am
Well this one is a new one to me!

Hi
I am looking for a sexy girl to pay to help me do my fantasy
I love to do a nude run xx

After I said I wouldn't do this:

OK

Shame I love to fuck you and have a good hand job then short run xx

A nude run?? What does that mean? He wants you to run in the nude? Where? Round a hotel room? Hotel car park? Up his street?

I'll hazard a guess and say that the only place Just An Escort will be doing a nude run is in his fantasising little mind... Along with whoever else was lucky enough to receive that copy n paste masterpiece lol!
excellent I can do a nearly nude NUN ! and just wear my Judy garland head thing or a Nude Nun Run ( on spot)  laughing so much xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 18 March 2016, 03:19:29 pm
First day back after constant illnessess the last few weeks and already want to bang my head against a wall.

1: 2.44pm Hi are you available at 3.30?

I answered before I noticed he'd then called at 2. 47, 2.48, 2.49, 2.51.

Told him I was available from 4pm.

2.52- What about in the next 12-13 minutes? (So...specific.)
2.57- Okay.
2.57. 4pm is fine.
2.58. Text back to confirm and text me your address.
3.07. ?

2: Want to see you.

Well...make a booking like a normal person then?

3: Do you do deepthroat, CIM, swallow in 15 minutes?
- No I only do deepthroat in an hour or longer bookings. The rest is fine.
-ok basically all i'm looking for is a suck and i want to cum down your throat while your sucking will you do that?

...Did I not just say that?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 18 March 2016, 05:56:26 pm
Hi there,

I am interested in overnight and can pay around ?300 as I have to travel from London ,If that's possible please let me know. Also this will be at you place if possible if not then we can look for a hotel near you.

Perhaps we could do this overnight when you are least busy ?

Can you leave your number so we have a chat about this please. Alternatively can you please send me a message through WhatsApp please. My number is *** or message me through Kik, my id is ***

Look forward to hearing from you.

Kind regards


So...I don 't do overnights or outcall/hotels, would certainly  never let a client stay over and he wants the whole time for a whopping 300 and if I were to do this why on earth mention being less busy  when doing it?!

Oh and of course  he isn't even near my required age minimum to see me.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 18 March 2016, 11:26:01 pm
Just received a text from the "I'm not some creepy old man lol I'm a 28 year old stupidly horny" idiot who wanted to book me late at night last week and I told him that I only work daytimes "Hi you available?" x


So tempted to ask him if he has a problem with his memory because I've already said that I don't work late at night, so is he either blind, ignorant or just plain dumb!!   
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 19 March 2016, 02:04:31 pm
Most pointless text I've ever recieved in my life this morning..

If only I had the confident to meet up with you I would pay more than usual and take you for a drink afterwards too, would love to have that extra bit of confident to pound you like i have never done before (insert loads of stupid emojis)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: K47 on 19 March 2016, 02:07:17 pm
Just got this text:

Can I come see you julie

err... Julie is not my real name or my working name!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 19 March 2016, 02:40:39 pm
Do you want to make an old man really happy?

"NO"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 20 March 2016, 08:02:55 am
Calls at stupid o' clock outside my working hours. Receives my auto reply advising when I'm next available. Replies to auto text with, "Well?" err...well what?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 20 March 2016, 01:12:21 pm
Guy makes a booking all seems well until:
"I've only got ?30 will you do it for that?"
"No."
"What about ?35?"

Click.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 20 March 2016, 04:52:22 pm
Email today - "Hi u up for some fun what say we meet for 1 hour and if ur good I'll pay u 1000 for a nite of pleasure"

I replied saying I don't do overnights or freebies, and if he wants to book me he needs to follow the protocol and pay my rates.  He replied with something gross about wanting to 'lick my pussy' ( :-X ) which I ignored.  And I've been getting emails on the hour ever since with "???" "So when u free" "where are u based" "all i asked waz cud i lick ur pussy"

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 21 March 2016, 12:45:25 am
I guess I should expect this more often as I have videos on AW of me having unprotected sex with my boyfriend - but I'm pretty clear on them that they are filmed with my boyfriend and we have been together a long time and are both tested regularly etc. and despite how long I've had videos like that up I've never had someone as persistent about it as this guy (he has just 1 escort feedback and the other 50 odd are cam):

"I have seen your profile and I was wondering if booked would you be willing to do bareback xxx"
Told him I don't offer bareback
"I noticed you have bareback in movies thats why I asked xxx"
Told him as above about boyfriend
"Ok would showing my NHS text that I am all clear be enough xxx"
Said again I don't do bareback with clients
"Ok but I am clean and tested I would be happy to pay a little bit extra xx"

And blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 21 March 2016, 02:21:08 pm
It is truly idiot week!

This guy has been in touch before asking for services I don't do like hardsports and haggling rates and such, then today:

"hi read you profile is there any hates you will not do for a trick X"
Told him my services aren't up for negotiation
"ok other girl more flex on all tricks and xtras 60 X"
Told him I don't charge extras and if I don't offer a service then I don't offer it
"ok this other girl charging me 150 , plus 60 for blow job ,60 for anal she said its xtras for them tricks X"
Pointed out that that's her business and I don't appreciate haggling and boundary pushing
"ok she on her way now so all ok thanks for your help X"

So he was shopping around for a better deal on a service I don't even offer? Not sure why I hadn't before, but he's blocked now!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 21 March 2016, 04:49:52 pm
Had a guy wanting to book and pay from his company account?! Dodgy as in my opinion.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 21 March 2016, 09:26:31 pm
Just received a text...

Hi Helen GORGEOUS HONEY! into sloppy period sex x

FFS I'm 58 next month...lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jezabel on 22 March 2016, 10:20:19 am
Just received this email

Hello
I would love to see you soon hopefully next week.
My likes are , BareBack,kissing ,oral both ways [ owo], what would your fee be for these?
Regards
A

My response: One million pounds
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 23 March 2016, 06:24:47 pm
Text today - "DD/lg session in E10. Any time you are available"

Why yes of course, stranger who can't even be bothered to introduce himself properly, I'll be right over  ::) (just to clarify this is a service I offer but this is no way to ask for it!!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tinkerbell on 23 March 2016, 08:12:12 pm
'Send me a picture of your face and if I've never fucked anyone prettier I'll book you for half an hour.'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 23 March 2016, 08:22:16 pm
swindon guy is back with the sammmmmmmmmme copy and pasted email:

Hello

I am scheduled to stay in a hotel in Swindon, Wiltshire on business in the next few weeks.

I appreciate the distance and I wondering whether you would be interested in an outcall appointment (for a few hours or even longer..overnight?) which could involve dinner?

I am looking for someone who is passionate, confident, happy to take the lead (or not) likes role play, is imaginative, is discretely naughty outside of the bedroom and a very very naughty lady inside the bedroom. I am an open book and love all ideas!!

In terms of outfit for the evening, perhaps you have a sexy dress or skirt and blouse (without underwear?)

I enjoy deep French kissing, owo, and much more and importantly I love pleasing a woman to ensure she too enjoys the experience (its not all about me!!:).

Thanks


SAME EMAIL EVERY TIME
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 23 March 2016, 09:52:54 pm
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 23 March 2016, 06:24:47 pm
Text today - "DD/lg session in E10. Any time you are available"

Why yes of course, stranger who can't even be bothered to introduce himself properly, I'll be right over  ::) (just to clarify this is a service I offer but this is no way to ask for it!!)

I agree. Ignorant Bar Steward.
x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 24 March 2016, 07:32:42 am
Quote from: Riverprice on 23 March 2016, 08:22:16 pm
swindon guy is back with the sammmmmmmmmme copy and pasted email:

Hello

I am scheduled to stay in a hotel in Swindon, Wiltshire on business in the next few weeks.

I appreciate the distance and I wondering whether you would be interested in an outcall appointment (for a few hours or even longer..overnight?) which could involve dinner?

I am looking for someone who is passionate, confident, happy to take the lead (or not) likes role play, is imaginative, is discretely naughty outside of the bedroom and a very very naughty lady inside the bedroom. I am an open book and love all ideas!!

In terms of outfit for the evening, perhaps you have a sexy dress or skirt and blouse (without underwear?)

I enjoy deep French kissing, owo, and much more and importantly I love pleasing a woman to ensure she too enjoys the experience (its not all about me!!:).

Thanks


SAME EMAIL EVERY TIME

Yeah, me too a couple of weeks ago.

When we had public comments for verified members there were a lot of people saying they'd gotten the email.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 24 March 2016, 08:45:58 am
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 23 March 2016, 06:24:47 pm
Text today - "DD/lg session in E10. Any time you are available"

Why yes of course, stranger who can't even be bothered to introduce himself properly, I'll be right over  ::) (just to clarify this is a service I offer but this is no way to ask for it!!)

What does "dd/lg" mean?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 24 March 2016, 09:21:29 am
Quote from: Emma_C on 24 March 2016, 08:45:58 am
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 23 March 2016, 06:24:47 pm
Text today - "DD/lg session in E10. Any time you are available"

Why yes of course, stranger who can't even be bothered to introduce himself properly, I'll be right over  ::) (just to clarify this is a service I offer but this is no way to ask for it!!)

What does "dd/lg" mean?
Daddy dom, little girl? Accorinding to the search I did.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 24 March 2016, 10:49:27 am
So this just happened...

Hi if I book a hotel room could you come and dominate me make me dress in slutty women's cloths put make up on me then useing a chain and 2 combination padlocks which you change the code on the locks so only you know it chain me to the toilet so I'll be trapped like that then you walk out the room close the door leaving there so it will be up to you if you leave me there till the cleaners find me or you could text me the code so I can free myself

Hmmmmm let me think about it.  NOT!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 24 March 2016, 01:28:23 pm
Text exchange just now.

Idiot: are you available now and what part of xxx are you in?
Me: I am and I'm near xxx
Idiot: do you do cim and swallow ?
(Ignored because he obviously hasn't read my profile)
Idiot: ?
Idiot: ??
Me: I don't
Him: so you do cim ?
 BLOCK
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cherryfcuk on 24 March 2016, 09:19:18 pm
idiot - I will put the booking through but I don't have a phone right now but if you have an iphone you can message me through iMessage.... Is that ok?

more - Aww I see, no problem,

Can I provisional book and hopefully by wednesday I'll have a phone?
Also could you have iMessage by any chance?

me -    
sorry but im not going to take a booking for you to potentially cancel. But please contact me when you have a phone. No i dont have imessenger.

GET A PHONE
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 25 March 2016, 12:21:04 am
Been having gorillas  leave voicemail of them sex talking and wanking? I never listen to it full, so soon as I hear a deep sigh and you look sexy I just delete it straight away. So now these losers are getting off on leaving you naughty voicemails? :'( How does this satisfy them? There is an internet full of free porn. Nothing off limits. Like you can literally get visuals of anything you fancy. Yet you waste minutes leaving a voicemail for an escort?  They are so fucking retarded. I swear men are just naturally thick. I feel sorry for these poor buggers.  :FF Stupid attention seeking motherfuckers. Sigh! Like babies crying to get attention from their mothers.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 25 March 2016, 01:27:04 am
What is with guys who get in touch after your working hours, ask if you're available and when you tell them your working hours they come back with "too late for tonight then?" :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 25 March 2016, 11:26:24 am
text recieved:

"looks for sloppy bj cim"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 25 March 2016, 01:37:58 pm
Quote from: Jessica201 on 25 March 2016, 12:21:04 am
Been having gorillas  leave voicemail of them sex talking and wanking? I never listen to it full, so soon as I hear a deep sigh and you look sexy I just delete it straight away. So now these losers are getting off on leaving you naughty voicemails? :'( How does this satisfy them? There is an internet full of free porn. Nothing off limits. Like you can literally get visuals of anything you fancy. Yet you waste minutes leaving a voicemail for an escort?  They are so fucking retarded. I swear men are just naturally thick. I feel sorry for these poor buggers.  :FF Stupid attention seeking motherfuckers. Sigh! Like babies crying to get attention from their mothers.  ::)

Invest in a whistle  ;D x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seleranda on 25 March 2016, 04:00:43 pm
Quote from: Tinkerbell on 23 March 2016, 08:12:12 pm
'Send me a picture of your face and if I've never fucked anyone prettier I'll book you for half an hour.'

Reply: Send me a picture of your face and if I haven't fucked anyone prettier today I might let you book for half an hour.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: K47 on 25 March 2016, 08:41:29 pm
Guy calls, sounds alright on the phone except for calling me 'darling' which I normally take as a bad sign, but done nothing today so thought I'd give him a chance, arranged the time etc, sent him my postcode. Then he text

him: I dont want massage just sex
me: ? i don't do massage
him: owo?
me: obviously you haven't read my profile at all so please don't contact me again
him: i'm just double checking
him: so?
me: no
him: ok fuck off

nice! I knew the 'darling' was a warning sign. I swear every guy I've ever had that has called me darling, sweetheart, babe or whatever has been an arsehole
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 26 March 2016, 12:39:04 pm
old guy has tried to call a few times and left voicemails.  finally got through to me yesterday.

i explained my phone was only ever on while i was working and that i didn't take much work as i wanted to keep everything very low key and discreet.

his enquiry was all fine and he seemed really pleasant then BAM... and of course i'm a pensioner and my wife isn't interested in sex any longer, and the lady i used to see has retired.

he continues with more dull, unnecessary gubbins i really don't need to know befire heading into a story of how the last lady would have a nice chat and a cuppa with him after they'd finished, and that he was a pension (yeah, heard you first time mate) so would we be able to come to an arrangement as he would be seeing me every month to 6 weeks and i was a little more expensive than the last lady

think my diary will be full now when he calls.  i hate hagglers
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 26 March 2016, 12:48:08 pm
Tell him you actually charge more for clients over 65 to go towards your therapy fees as it can be fairly traumatic and so you asking him for the usual fee is actually a discounted rate. Then say 'u avin it or wha mate?'

That'll get rid of him, no need to block.

 :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ilana on 26 March 2016, 01:40:44 pm
him: How do I go about seeing you for 30 minutes this weekend ? (I don?t offer 30 min bookings) I?ll book for longer the second visit but prefer to just see you for half n hour the first time, just to we get to know each other

Please bring a bag of peanuts to throw at me while you observe me in my natural habitat, idly sucking on dildos, grinding on tree branches and meowing occasionally, like a cat in heat.

I enjoy having sex with strangers ? the prospect of being asked by a punter if I?m a student, what is my favourite colour is and where I come from, makes my skin crawl.

Quote
be able to come to an arrangement as he would be seeing me every month to 6 weeks and i was a little more expensive than the last lady
You can tell him that since the 70's when he met his last lady, the prices went up (and flared jeans are no longer popular, either.)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 26 March 2016, 02:02:33 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 26 March 2016, 12:48:08 pm
Tell him you actually charge more for clients over 65 to go towards your therapy fees as it can be fairly traumatic and so you asking him for the usual fee is actually a discounted rate. Then say 'u avin it or wha mate?'

That'll get rid of him, no need to block.

 :D

lol. love it  ;D good one
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 26 March 2016, 03:27:12 pm
Many over 65's are rolling in it - what planet is he on!

It is only one third of current day pensioners that can't make ends meet the rest are the baby boomers who have had a charmed life.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 28 March 2016, 05:35:28 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 26 March 2016, 12:39:04 pm
old guy has tried to call a few times and left voicemails.  finally got through to me yesterday.

i explained my phone was only ever on while i was working and that i didn't take much work as i wanted to keep everything very low key and discreet.

his enquiry was all fine and he seemed really pleasant then BAM... and of course i'm a pensioner and my wife isn't interested in sex any longer, and the lady i used to see has retired.

he continues with more dull, unnecessary gubbins i really don't need to know befire heading into a story of how the last lady would have a nice chat and a cuppa with him after they'd finished, and that he was a pension (yeah, heard you first time mate) so would we be able to come to an arrangement as he would be seeing me every month to 6 weeks and i was a little more expensive than the last lady

think my diary will be full now when he calls.  i hate hagglers

Quickest way for a potential client to make me not like them and block them is to haggle. The worst for me are the ones like "Oh what if I pay you this much and buy you a take away and a drink? We can hang out it'll be easy money for you still"  They don't seem to understand I'm not doing this for fun or to make friends this is a business and the price I set is one I feel makes it worth it to sleep with a stranger who is likely 30 odd years older than me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 29 March 2016, 03:38:59 pm
Had emails from an apparent 21 year old virgin over the weekend..a couple of red flags to be honest.Firstly he only wanted a 30 min appointment as he reckons he always comes quick from wanking..he didn't seem to grasp that fanny and actually interacting with a woman is going to be quite different to him cracking one off at the wrist.He also asked if he would need to use condoms..er yes of course.
Said he would confirm a 5pm appointment at lunchtime but rang me at 3:30pm claiming he was busy at lunchtime..he sounded alot younger and seemed very nonchalent.Said he would call tomorrow instead if he remembered at which point I said 'If you remember?You are wanting to book someone to lose your virginity to yet you are saying if you remember to confirm..'I don't think I'll be meeting up with him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 29 March 2016, 03:57:41 pm
Email yesterday,
Him "See you do prostate massage, how you do this?"
Me "Yes, I massage your prostate with my finger"
Him "Where is it?"
 ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 29 March 2016, 04:30:47 pm
Quote from: K47 on 25 March 2016, 08:41:29 pm
Guy calls, sounds alright on the phone except for calling me 'darling' which I normally take as a bad sign, but done nothing today so thought I'd give him a chance, arranged the time etc, sent him my postcode. Then he text

him: I dont want massage just sex
me: ? i don't do massage
him: owo?
me: obviously you haven't read my profile at all so please don't contact me again
him: i'm just double checking
him: so?
me: no
him: ok fuck off

nice! I knew the 'darling' was a warning sign. I swear every guy I've ever had that has called me darling, sweetheart, babe or whatever has been an arsehole
I 100% agree! I stop listening the second they call me any of these
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 29 March 2016, 05:08:47 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 29 March 2016, 03:57:41 pm
Email yesterday,
Him "See you do prostate massage, how you do this?"
Me "Yes, I massage your prostate with my finger"
Him "Where is it?"
 ???

This made me laugh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 29 March 2016, 05:31:10 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 29 March 2016, 05:08:47 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 29 March 2016, 03:57:41 pm
Email yesterday,
Him "See you do prostate massage, how you do this?"
Me "Yes, I massage your prostate with my finger"
Him "Where is it?"
 ???

This made me laugh.
I had a client years ago offer to massage my prostate! He genuinely didn't know that females don't have them!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 29 March 2016, 07:43:46 pm
FFS!What a day of bellends!Just had a guy ring and ask for a 30 min he then asked if he could transfer the money into my account instead of paying cash because he couldn't be arsed going to a cashpoint..as fecking if I am going to trust a stranger with a)My bank details and b)to put the money in before his appointment in 20 mins time! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendall on 29 March 2016, 08:36:49 pm
Him: can I book for 15 mins at 645? do you do owo?
Me: yup *gives address*

5 minutes before the appointment he txts me "see you at 645 can I decide on which or both girls when I get there? I hope neither of you are sensitive haha

Me: there's only me here
Him: I'm confused which one is your adultwork profile?
Me: forget *blocks*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 29 March 2016, 10:08:33 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 29 March 2016, 05:31:10 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 29 March 2016, 05:08:47 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 29 March 2016, 03:57:41 pm
Email yesterday,
Him "See you do prostate massage, how you do this?"
Me "Yes, I massage your prostate with my finger"
Him "Where is it?"
 ???

This made me laugh.
I had a client years ago offer to massage my prostate! He genuinely didn't know that females don't have them!

Should have told him 'up yer nose'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 29 March 2016, 10:13:45 pm
Had a text off a real charmer: "Whats your name"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 29 March 2016, 10:48:39 pm
Quote from: katrina on 29 March 2016, 10:13:45 pm
Had a text off a real charmer: "Whats your name"
I sometimes reply with Gertrude if I'm feeling sarcastic.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 29 March 2016, 11:00:26 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 29 March 2016, 10:48:39 pm
Quote from: katrina on 29 March 2016, 10:13:45 pm
Had a text off a real charmer: "Whats your name"
I sometimes reply with Gertrude if I'm feeling sarcastic.

LOL I'll have to remember that next time!


Anyway apparently he wanted an overnight with someone who he didn't even have a name for, then when I said I didn't do them he wanted 2 hours *yawn*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: latrice on 30 March 2016, 01:53:22 pm
Email today: I want to see you but not in Hackney, please move to a nicer neighbourhood and I'll book an appointment.

suuuuure, let me just move real quick and I'll let you know.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 30 March 2016, 03:01:01 pm
He does have a point Latrice lol.... ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 30 March 2016, 06:53:08 pm
Quote from: latrice on 30 March 2016, 01:53:22 pm
Email today: I want to see you but not in Hackney, please move to a nicer neighbourhood and I'll book an appointment.

suuuuure, let me just move real quick and I'll let you know.

Oh I had someone a few years ago who I told my address at the time and he said he couldn't come there because it was too dodgy! To be fair my area was adjacent to a dodgy area, but it always seemed fine to me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 31 March 2016, 12:04:18 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 29 March 2016, 10:48:39 pm
Quote from: katrina on 29 March 2016, 10:13:45 pm
Had a text off a real charmer: "Whats your name"
I sometimes reply with Gertrude if I'm feeling sarcastic.

I'd try 'Dave.' Or possibly 'Stanislav.'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 31 March 2016, 12:16:42 am
Quote from: Nova on 31 March 2016, 12:04:18 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 29 March 2016, 10:48:39 pm
Quote from: katrina on 29 March 2016, 10:13:45 pm
Had a text off a real charmer: "Whats your name"
I sometimes reply with Gertrude if I'm feeling sarcastic.

I'd try 'Dave.' Or possibly 'Stanislav.'


Oh ye or me names Mike,  Mike Huntluvit ;-)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 31 March 2016, 09:35:25 am
Ha what about Phil McCavity?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 31 March 2016, 04:13:42 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 31 March 2016, 09:35:25 am
Ha what about Phil McCavity?


That's the one!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 31 March 2016, 04:14:20 pm
Quote from: katrina on 31 March 2016, 04:13:42 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 31 March 2016, 09:35:25 am
Ha what about Phil McCavity?


That's the one!

Or Phil McCracken  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 31 March 2016, 04:27:42 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 31 March 2016, 04:14:20 pm
Quote from: katrina on 31 March 2016, 04:13:42 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 31 March 2016, 09:35:25 am
Ha what about Phil McCavity?


That's the one!

Or Phil McCracken  :D




And him lol :-)


I saw an optician, (not for sex, for an eye test)  his name badge said Mike Cox, poor fella what was his parents thinking wtf?!


Anyway another charmer has just made me a fab offer: "You enjoyed me last time so can I have at least an hour for ?80" *rolls eyes*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 31 March 2016, 04:36:53 pm
What is it with blokes who ring you 2 days running aaking the exact same thing and then deny they have rung you before?Caught one out today and informed him we had spoken yesterday..'Er have we?' Asked him if he had been ringing alot of ladies the past 2 days...only the ones I really like.... ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 31 March 2016, 04:37:34 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 31 March 2016, 04:36:53 pm
What is it with blokes who ring you 2 days running asking the exact same thing and then deny they have rung you before?Caught one out today and informed him we had spoken yesterday..'Er have we?' Asked him if he had been ringing alot of ladies the past 2 days...only the ones I really like.... ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 31 March 2016, 05:48:34 pm
" can I ruin you?"........ oh lord  x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 31 March 2016, 11:40:26 pm
Text (of many)  from someone who has booked 6 weeks in advance: "Hi Kat, just wanted to say I'm not bad looking. I'm 5.10 tall, shaved head, slim to medium, I'm clean shaven, don't smoke,, mouth fresh for us snogging, see you soon love *his name*"  Is it just me or does anyone else not give a flying fuck what a paying client looks like?!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 01 April 2016, 12:09:52 am
After asking about some specific services this guy text back:

"That's good n can't wait to see ur sexy body n to fuck u hard even ur mouth xx"
I told him I offer GFE and not the sort of services he is looking for so I'm not the girl for him, his reply:
"Ok sorry but like to be friends if nothing else x"
"Can we start again x"

I've told him I don't have time to chat but if he wants to make a booking with services I actually offer then get back to me!

Quote from: katrina on 31 March 2016, 11:40:26 pm
Text (of many)  from someone who has booked 6 weeks in advance: "Hi Kat, just wanted to say I'm not bad looking. I'm 5.10 tall, shaved head, slim to medium, I'm clean shaven, don't smoke,, mouth fresh for us snogging, see you soon love *his name*"  Is it just me or does anyone else not give a flying fuck what a paying client looks like?!!

Yeh, and when they offer to send a photo I always say there's no need! I've had two guys in as many days write me super long messages on AW that include detailed descriptions of themselves as well as gushing about how much they wish to meet me - I just replied to the pertinent information in their messages and ignored the surplus gushing. One replied but the other hasn't as yet.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 01 April 2016, 11:33:07 am
Oh I had some dipstick last night texting about how he is white and English...like I give a shit. Then yep you guessed it he sends a face pic of himself..along with a load of old twaddle about wanting to lick my pussy.Felt like sending him to tinder but just ignored him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 01 April 2016, 03:14:08 pm
Just had a phone call from someone ringing off a phone in India ask a barage of stupid questions.

'Are you a genuine student or do you just say you are to make money? Are you white? Are you sure you're white? I want a regular relationship, not just a one off. What size knickers are you? I like dirty knickers can I buy some from you? Will they be marked?'

Don't know how or why I managed to stay on the phone throughout that but the marked knickers comment was the final straw. Then I realised it was an Indian number.

I hate Vivastreet.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 01 April 2016, 07:02:06 pm
Quote from: katrina on 31 March 2016, 11:40:26 pm
Text (of many)  from someone who has booked 6 weeks in advance: "Hi Kat, just wanted to say I'm not bad looking. I'm 5.10 tall, shaved head, slim to medium, I'm clean shaven, don't smoke,, mouth fresh for us snogging, see you soon love *his name*"  Is it just me or does anyone else not give a flying fuck what a paying client looks like?!!

Exactly. I wonder if he would tell his mechanic all this before taking his car in for an MOT or say it over the phone when booking at a table at a restaurant.
Why would any service professional give a stuff about what their clients look like?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 01 April 2016, 10:04:46 pm
Quote from: Nova on 01 April 2016, 07:02:06 pm
Quote from: katrina on 31 March 2016, 11:40:26 pm
Text (of many)  from someone who has booked 6 weeks in advance: "Hi Kat, just wanted to say I'm not bad looking. I'm 5.10 tall, shaved head, slim to medium, I'm clean shaven, don't smoke,, mouth fresh for us snogging, see you soon love *his name*"  Is it just me or does anyone else not give a flying fuck what a paying client looks like?!!

Exactly. I wonder if he would tell his mechanic all this before taking his car in for an MOT or say it over the phone when booking at a table at a restaurant.
Why would any service professional give a stuff about what their clients look like?

Reply to him:
Hello, I really don't give a flying fuck what you look like as long as you don't stink and have a wad for me.

('snogging': Finger/throat etc)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 02 April 2016, 12:03:27 am
him-Hi dear when are u free and whats included??"
- I'm available monday to friday throughout the day. Please check profile for info.
him- hi dear I want  to book you for tomorrow and i'm looking for swallow and watersports how much would that be? wt time??
-please check profile for info, prices and availability.

Was so tempted to reply saying unfortuantely saturday falls outside of monday -friday this week please learn the days of the week.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 02 April 2016, 12:46:14 am
I had a typical time waster cancel and ask to rearrange for next week, then started with the endless questions about what I do, how I'll do it etc...
"All info is on my profile"
"I'm driving atm babe can't you just tell me now"
"Well luckily you have between now and next week to read my profile so I'm sure you'll find time"

Needless to say I didn't hear from him after that! It really does make me laugh when they think that they're the first to try and waste my time and that I'll fall for their bull...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 02 April 2016, 02:32:44 am
Not seen this gem posted here before - even though it is a clear copy+paste job!


Hi, hope you are well.

If you are owner without mortgage of your house, have a boyfriend/married or work for someone, so ignore this message. Bye bye^^

But If you are 100% independent, live in your home by paying rent/credit or living with someone, continue to read.

Soon, i will mounting a personal "harem". The job of the escort will be:

- Give service any time
- Living with me (start for 3 month in begin)

The advantage:
- Living in big house WITHOUT pay anything (no bills, no rent etc..)
- Get ?1300 in the end of month (can increase after 6 month)
- 30 days off in years
- take care mutually

Think carefully and give me your answer.

KissXxX
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 02 April 2016, 02:42:27 am
I've thought carefully and my answer is 'Ha ha ha happy April 1st assclown' and block! :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Carolines secret on 02 April 2016, 07:45:46 am
So many hi babes what's ya postcode texts or calls that are so dodgy asking for postcode to book I don't bother sending they don't bother contacting again  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seleranda on 02 April 2016, 10:00:58 am
Quote from: geordie on 01 April 2016, 03:14:08 pm
'Are you a genuine student or do you just say you are to make money?

Just rude.

Quote from: geordie on 01 April 2016, 03:14:08 pm
Are you white? Are you sure you're white?

This is amazing. 'Are you sure you're white?'... Actually laughing here. Brilliant. I'm so gonna use this formula if someone starts to show off about their skills, looks, etc.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 02 April 2016, 11:19:58 am
Quote from: seleranda on 02 April 2016, 10:00:58 am
Quote from: geordie on 01 April 2016, 03:14:08 pm
'Are you a genuine student or do you just say you are to make money?

Just rude.

Quote from: geordie on 01 April 2016, 03:14:08 pm
Are you white? Are you sure you're white?

This is amazing. 'Are you sure you're white?'... Actually laughing here. Brilliant. I'm so gonna use this formula if someone starts to show off about their skills, looks, etc.
I should have hung up after the first question to save my poor ears I don't know how I managed to listen for so long. My reply to the white issue was 'I think I know my own skin colour'. I mean there's pics of me on there. If he had done a search he's find the same pictures + more on various websites all watermarked with white skin. Idiot
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 02 April 2016, 04:41:41 pm

Hi could you do my fantasy? I would love you to make me watch you crush my toy cars under your bum while you tell me its for the best as I'm too old for them now. Could you do that? Xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 02 April 2016, 05:49:55 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 02 April 2016, 04:41:41 pm

Hi could you do my fantasy? I would love you to make me watch you crush my toy cars under your bum while you tell me its for the best as I'm too old for them now. Could you do that? Xxx

This guy has been listed on this thread aaaages ago.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 02 April 2016, 06:49:42 pm
Quote from: Nova on 02 April 2016, 05:49:55 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 02 April 2016, 04:41:41 pm

Hi could you do my fantasy? I would love you to make me watch you crush my toy cars under your bum while you tell me its for the best as I'm too old for them now. Could you do that? Xxx

This guy has been listed on this thread aaaages ago.

Was he? Lol I should go through the whole thread:)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 02 April 2016, 07:03:17 pm
Hi I have a strange fantasy I was wondering if you'd be up for.

I'd like to wrestle each other and whoever submits will have to work on the other person's body part of their choosing for however long they choose. I'd also like to smother each other constantly throughout this.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 02 April 2016, 10:20:47 pm
Crying fetish?
I'm so out of patience atm I just block them without thinking. But had that one who has a crying fetish (???!!!!). Wanted to WATCH me cry and asked what he had to do to make me cry and how long I could keep on crying...?!

Seriously?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 02 April 2016, 10:40:26 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 02 April 2016, 10:20:47 pm
Wanted to WATCH me cry and asked what he had to do to make me cry and how long I could keep on crying...?!

Seriously?!

What a great time you'd have with him!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gizzi on 02 April 2016, 10:59:02 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 02 April 2016, 04:41:41 pm

Hi could you do my fantasy? I would love you to make me watch you crush my toy cars under your bum while you tell me its for the best as I'm too old for them now. Could you do that? Xxx


He's on a roll again I got the same yesterday. I wonder if anyone ever replies to him?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gizzi on 02 April 2016, 11:03:03 pm
Just had this classic......

Hi,

I will be working away from home for most of April and am looking for some comfort and enjoyment to break up the monotony of staying away.
What is your availability during this time, what sort of facilities do you offer and will you hold regular appointments once you get to know a client?
I am young-ish, looking for an older woman to please me, fulfill the urges that just don't go away!
I am flexible on times, and will book long sessions if you can keep me entertained! Penetrative sex is low on my list, I prefer the tease and build up and to control the situation with my hands and keep things bubbling under the surface until an explosion of feelings erupt and leave both people dribbling and unable to talk.
If you think you can help with this...

Please get back to me

Kind Regards

[name]


I haven't replied, but I did yawn....coincidence maybe??

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 02 April 2016, 11:11:15 pm
God, he sounds exhausting.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gizzi on 02 April 2016, 11:22:30 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 02 April 2016, 11:11:15 pm
God, he sounds exhausting.

Yep, my thoughts exactly.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 02 April 2016, 11:38:50 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 02 April 2016, 10:40:26 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 02 April 2016, 10:20:47 pm
Wanted to WATCH me cry and asked what he had to do to make me cry and how long I could keep on crying...?!

Seriously?!

What a great time you'd have with him!  ::)

Was chatting with a friend and since the hour change last Sun I had the toy car guy, the crying guy, the awfully long graphic guy, the filthy T&T guy... No idea, spring time? My mate suggested the moon :)))
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Carolines secret on 03 April 2016, 06:45:00 am
this is more along the lines of how not to phone chat an escort !
 got a call  telling me he was lying in bed next to his sleeping wife huh!!!
 then asks " can we have silent chat"? then he starts telling me in a loud voice " be mummy  be mummy" at this point i asked him to put the phone down which he did ..
 2 credits for that chat  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Carolines secret on 03 April 2016, 06:46:42 am
Quote from: Shewolf on 02 April 2016, 10:40:26 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 02 April 2016, 10:20:47 pm
Wanted to WATCH me cry and asked what he had to do to make me cry and how long I could keep on crying...?!

Seriously?!
i used to get emails on aw from a guy asking for this over a year ago

What a great time you'd have with him!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 03 April 2016, 12:47:13 pm
Just had a guy in touch asking for strap on services - he asked what dildo sizes I have and I asked him what sort of size he was looking for and he replied:

"Two sizes one very long normal thickness and the other normal length but very thick x and they must match colour of high heels x"

Anyone else match their dildos with their high heels??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 03 April 2016, 12:49:01 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 03 April 2016, 12:47:13 pm
Just had a guy in touch asking for strap on services - he asked what dildo sizes I have and I asked him what sort of size he was looking for and he replied:

"Two sizes one very long normal thickness and the other normal length but very thick x and they must match colour of high heels x"

Anyone else match their dildos with their high heels??

God it just gets weirder and weirder....I think they just demand stuff as a power kick.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BritishBabe on 03 April 2016, 01:37:02 pm
I had the strangest request from a client the other day, he was very insistent that I be busting for a wee for the entire booking. He wanted me to hold it for as long as possible and kept emailing asking how long do I think I'd be able to hold it in for? Not interested in watersports but just wanted to see me 'squirm'

So strange....


xoxo
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 03 April 2016, 03:00:34 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 03 April 2016, 12:49:01 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 03 April 2016, 12:47:13 pm
Just had a guy in touch asking for strap on services - he asked what dildo sizes I have and I asked him what sort of size he was looking for and he replied:

"Two sizes one very long normal thickness and the other normal length but very thick x and they must match colour of high heels x"

Anyone else match their dildos with their high heels??

God it just gets weirder and weirder....I think they just demand stuff as a power kick.

Yep. Let me see what I can make the hooker do when i dangle money in front her face. Same when I use to do camming. You would have blobber fishes saying if you can lick your elbow I would take you private etc.  Just remember that they are sad with no lives and this is the only entertainment for them. I play them at their own game. Don't know if any of you to do too as well. My response to the "Your dildos must match your heels" would have been something like "I haven't got any that match my heels but if it's that important to you I can always dip the dildo in my period blood so it is red and matches my red heels then maybe we can lick it off together? mmmm That ok babe?
But you have to make it sound like your genuinely serious else they would think you are mocking them. I get so much laughs off doing this. You never hear from them again.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 03 April 2016, 03:14:20 pm
I'd have been tempted to reply with 'Given that you probably won't have the sense or dignity to douche before I stick the dildo up your arse I'll match it with some old brown wellies I have instead as that's what colour the dildo will most likely be afterwards!'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 03 April 2016, 03:18:16 pm
Brilliant.

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 03 April 2016, 03:25:26 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 02 April 2016, 10:20:47 pm
Crying fetish?
I'm so out of patience atm I just block them without thinking. But had that one who has a crying fetish (???!!!!). Wanted to WATCH me cry and asked what he had to do to make me cry and how long I could keep on crying...?!

Seriously?!

I had that one, too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 03 April 2016, 07:29:15 pm
Know what pisses me off, when they assume that just because you have a private life you are std ridden but yet it is ok for them to fluff every and anything asunder without  condom but we are the ones that are high risk.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gizzi on 04 April 2016, 10:18:21 am
This was my first email of the week......

Hi

I know this isn't what u usually accommodate but here goes.
Hope you are well I wonder if you'd be interested in the following, nothing weird I promise,really taken by your pics especially your hair.
Wonder if you'd be interested in the following?

I love hot short haired women.
Even better if they're up for a fantasy of mine.
My ultimate fantasy is to be with such a lady at the hairdressers/barbers during the haircut and then retire for some fun afterwards.
(I would of course come to an arrangement for the visit to the hairdressers / barbers)
Would you be interested in a free haircut at your choice of salon as well as the usual fee ?
Any idea when you might be having your hair cut next?
Love to talk to you about the possibilities
If you are interested let me know.

Sorry if this offends.
Regards.
[name]


Seriously?
A member for 10yrs+ with no escort feedback....funny that!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cherry_bb on 04 April 2016, 11:43:20 am
Quote from: Gizzi on 04 April 2016, 10:18:21 am
This was my first email of the week......

Hi

I know this isn't what u usually accommodate but here goes.
Hope you are well I wonder if you'd be interested in the following, nothing weird I promise,really taken by your pics especially your hair.
Wonder if you'd be interested in the following?

I love hot short haired women.
Even better if they're up for a fantasy of mine.
My ultimate fantasy is to be with such a lady at the hairdressers/barbers during the haircut and then retire for some fun afterwards.
(I would of course come to an arrangement for the visit to the hairdressers / barbers)
Would you be interested in a free haircut at your choice of salon as well as the usual fee ?
Any idea when you might be having your hair cut next?
Love to talk to you about the possibilities
If you are interested let me know.

Sorry if this offends.
Regards.
[name]


Seriously?
A member for 10yrs+ with no escort feedback....funny that!

lmao ive had this one before!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Carolines secret on 04 April 2016, 12:22:48 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 03 April 2016, 12:47:13 pm
Just had a guy in touch asking for strap on services - he asked what dildo sizes I have and I asked him what sort of size he was looking for and he replied:

"Two sizes one very long normal thickness and the other normal length but very thick x and they must match colour of high heels x"

Anyone else match their dildos with their high heels??

Only in my dreams lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Carolines secret on 04 April 2016, 12:37:17 pm
A caller who clearly had no intention of booking acting like he didn't know what water sports was or reverse oral  I put phonr down on him and blocked some seem to think we want to chat and have nothing better to do with our time  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 04 April 2016, 01:28:19 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 02 April 2016, 07:03:17 pm
Hi I have a strange fantasy I was wondering if you'd be up for.

I'd like to wrestle each other and whoever submits will have to work on the other person's body part of their choosing for however long they choose. I'd also like to smother each other constantly throughout this.
That's a service I do! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 04 April 2016, 01:30:25 pm
Subject:You are stunningly sexy Bibi! Truly an irresistible amazon milf id love to adore as your toyboy Xxx

Dear bibi Xxx,

I just found your profile page and was amazed by your striking, beautiful look and delectable figure! xxx

I'd love to spend some regular time enjoying you as your affectionate lover, having passionate raunchy fun together, plus spoiling you with surprises in our regular meets id like to have with you x.

After reading your profile and being blown away by your pictures, admiring your mouth watering figure, I had to come over and inquire about seeing you regularly, at least once a month x.

I hope you'd consider enjoying the affections of a kind, caring, eager and energetic man who is something different and exotic to appreciate you x.

I'm (Mr WarandPeace) call me (Mr Silly) an exotic, athletic professional Indian male; UK born n bred, degree educated, just turned 26, with smooth light brown caramel color skin, long dark hair, dark eyes, well built, broad shoulders, thick strong arms to hold you close & tight, with powerful legs for deep hard thrusts! xx - and wanting to worship every inch of your immaculate figure frequently, with my tongue n mouth x.

I' strive to live up to my upbringing and be a true gentleman, with good middle-class values, while being sensual, affectionate, and very physical ;)

I like to practice my slow, relaxing oil back massage techniques and you would be a prime candidate for me to perfect my skills x lol. I drip light oil over your shoulders n back, and rub it in gently, but firmly, squeezing and stretching your muscles to relaxation, drawing the tension out as I slide over your back and suck on your neck while you feel my solid dick nestled in your crack x.

So I'd love to become your regular soon and get to learn how u like to be pampered, and enjoy some fun sessions together just working out in deeply intimate sensual sessions.

Please do let me know when is best for you so I can book you for incall hours, x.

Look forward to meeting u soon xx.

Love (Mr Satwankinginmybedsit)xxxx
 
Anyone else had this corker?Surprise surprise he is a socalled male escort!Oh and he is in London as well!Didn't respond when I invited him plainly to email when he has a day and time in mind!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendall on 04 April 2016, 02:13:52 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 04 April 2016, 01:30:25 pm
Subject:You are stunningly sexy Bibi! Truly an irresistible amazon milf id love to adore as your toyboy Xxx

Dear bibi Xxx,

I just found your profile page and was amazed by your striking, beautiful look and delectable figure! xxx

I'd love to spend some regular time enjoying you as your affectionate lover, having passionate raunchy fun together, plus spoiling you with surprises in our regular meets id like to have with you x.

After reading your profile and being blown away by your pictures, admiring your mouth watering figure, I had to come over and inquire about seeing you regularly, at least once a month x.

I hope you'd consider enjoying the affections of a kind, caring, eager and energetic man who is something different and exotic to appreciate you x.

I'm (Mr WarandPeace) call me (Mr Silly) an exotic, athletic professional Indian male; UK born n bred, degree educated, just turned 26, with smooth light brown caramel color skin, long dark hair, dark eyes, well built, broad shoulders, thick strong arms to hold you close & tight, with powerful legs for deep hard thrusts! xx - and wanting to worship every inch of your immaculate figure frequently, with my tongue n mouth x.

I' strive to live up to my upbringing and be a true gentleman, with good middle-class values, while being sensual, affectionate, and very physical ;)

I like to practice my slow, relaxing oil back massage techniques and you would be a prime candidate for me to perfect my skills x lol. I drip light oil over your shoulders n back, and rub it in gently, but firmly, squeezing and stretching your muscles to relaxation, drawing the tension out as I slide over your back and suck on your neck while you feel my solid dick nestled in your crack x.

So I'd love to become your regular soon and get to learn how u like to be pampered, and enjoy some fun sessions together just working out in deeply intimate sensual sessions.

Please do let me know when is best for you so I can book you for incall hours, x.

Look forward to meeting u soon xx.

Love (Mr Satwankinginmybedsit)xxxx
 
Anyone else had this corker?Surprise surprise he is a socalled male escort!Oh and he is in London as well!Didn't respond when I invited him plainly to email when he has a day and time in mind!


I always tell them types I'll file that under I don't give a fuck and block them
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 04 April 2016, 03:09:21 pm
I don't understand some men I really do not.

A nice sounding Scotsman wished to meet it was hanging in the balance whether or not he could do 330 pm today in the end he couldn't.  I said it didn't matter as I had the monthly due and wasn't feeling my best.

He then asked if he could pop in for a coffee later today.

Honestly what makes him think we meet for free socially?  And if I am not feeling up to a meet why then would I be up to a coffee lol.  I told him coffee meets are not my remit.  Since he is a first timer I will cut him a bit of temporary slack and hope he materialises and books next week properly instead!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: candystarbbw on 04 April 2016, 03:26:10 pm
Quote from: Miss Carolines secret on 04 April 2016, 12:37:17 pm
A caller who clearly had no intention of booking acting like he didn't know what water sports was or reverse oral  I put phonr down on him and blocked some seem to think we want to chat and have nothing better to do with our time  :FF

omg!! I know those clients. Try to play dumb!! fool! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 04 April 2016, 04:21:57 pm
Quote from: Lushblossom on 04 April 2016, 03:09:21 pm
I don't understand some men I really do not.

A nice sounding Scotsman wished to meet it was hanging in the balance whether or not he could do 330 pm today in the end he couldn't.  I said it didn't matter as I had the monthly due and wasn't feeling my best.

He then asked if he could pop in for a coffee later today.

Honestly what makes him think we meet for free socially?  And if I am not feeling up to a meet why then would I be up to a coffee lol.  I told him coffee meets are not my remit.  Since he is a first timer I will cut him a bit of temporary slack and hope he materialises and books next week properly instead!
I had one similar yesterday. He texts

Hi I know you don't do Sundays but I'm in the area and thought you might like a glass of wine and a foot massage as a treat.

It's the tone of some guys you just know they are aiming for a freebie,
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 04 April 2016, 04:42:52 pm
I've replied to stupid texts like that with 'Ooh yes that's a good idea!Just sent my husband to the shop for a nice bottle of pinot.Bless him he say's he'll give me a foot rub when he get's back!'
It's right up their with the soon to be ex regular (if he doesn't start behaving again) who texted me Saturday asking for a short notice booking.Said no can do (my adverts explicitly state that unless I have my green light on I need a good few hours notice on a weekend to consider a booking).He then asked if my duo partner was working and could I send him her number!Er no as apart from anything else I only have her personal number.So then he asks if I can ring her and sort his booking out.I was gobsmacked and sent him a rather blunt text asking if he actually thought I was gonna do that whilst out and about with my partner in the middle of town?Fuckwit!They basically think the world revolves around them and their dicks and you don't have anything else going on aside from seeing punters!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 04 April 2016, 05:44:50 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 04 April 2016, 04:42:52 pm
I've replied to stupid texts like that with 'Ooh yes that's a good idea!Just sent my husband to the shop for a nice bottle of pinot.Bless him he say's he'll give me a foot rub when he get's back!'
It's right up their with the soon to be ex regular (if he doesn't start behaving again) who texted me Saturday asking for a short notice booking.Said no can do (my adverts explicitly state that unless I have my green light on I need a good few hours notice on a weekend to consider a booking).He then asked if my duo partner was working and could I send him her number!Er no as apart from anything else I only have her personal number.So then he asks if I can ring her and sort his booking out.I was gobsmacked and sent him a rather blunt text asking if he actually thought I was gonna do that whilst out and about with my partner in the middle of town?Fuckwit!They basically think the world revolves around them and their dicks and you don't have anything else going on aside from seeing punters!
Oh I've had one do that cheeky sod! My duo lady had her phone off and he rang me to ask why! Another that weirdly likes to chew my toenails when my feet are dirty straight from the gym asked me to ask my duo partner to collect her toenail dirt and me collect it to bring to our booking, I said pay her too and she'll maybe do it,  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 04 April 2016, 08:23:04 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 04 April 2016, 01:28:19 pm
That's a service I do! X

I know some guys like wrestling but smothering?!  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 04 April 2016, 08:24:51 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 04 April 2016, 08:23:04 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 04 April 2016, 01:28:19 pm
That's a service I do! X

I know some guys like wrestling but smothering?!  :o
It's a fetish, I do it to a lot of guys x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 05 April 2016, 02:10:38 pm
Person had text about a booking

Him: ?40 for 30 minutes?

Me: No ?50

Him: But it will cost me ?10 to park.

Feck knows where he was parking that it would cost him ?10 for less than an hour.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 05 April 2016, 08:12:50 pm
Jesus!!!Gobsmacked!!
Him:Saw your advert on AW.Was looking for a whore for an hour.
Me:Sorry what did you just say?
Him:I'm after a whore can you do that for me?
Me:I wouldn't want to see anyone that refers to me as a whore.Goodnight!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 06 April 2016, 09:42:36 pm
What a prick Bibi xxxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 07 April 2016, 09:17:28 am
Quote from: The Courtesan on 04 September 2009, 01:54:21 pm
Not quite a "how not to book an escort....." but one (younger) client of mine asked if I needed a f-buddy, couldn't help but laugh in his face  :D - he just didn't get understand what was so funny -  :)


I had something similar recently!  A client saw I do couple swap stuff  (me and my fianc? ) and goes
 "would you ever need someone else"?
What do you mean
To work with you
Ohhhh. .... no I only work with my fella.....

I mean... clients wanting to be paid for sex?? Hmm!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 08 April 2016, 03:36:08 am
Would you do an outcall to me tonight? Id come to you but im on tag.
Oh lordy lord!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 08 April 2016, 12:30:03 pm
Quote from: MrsTomHardy on 08 April 2016, 03:36:08 am
Would you do an outcall to me tonight? Id come to you but im on tag.
Oh lordy lord!
oh I needed that ha ha ha ha xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 09 April 2016, 12:50:47 am
"will you be my girlfriend" ...... of course i will!!!! xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 09 April 2016, 11:00:37 am
I probably should've stopped replying to this guy sooner, but it took me a moment to twig he was wanting to meet for free!

Smug git: I shall book you in for a good fuck x
(I replied that if he wanted to make a booking let me know the details)
[We had a bit of back and forth about how naughty and exciting people who look like me are]
Me: Let me know if you'd like to make a booking and we can go from there x
SG: Well you let me know if you would like a bit of excitement and a good fucking and we can go from there x
Me: It doesn't really work like that but if you'd like to meet then take a read of my profile for a better idea of what you can expect and then get back to me if you'd like to book x
SG: .same for me, but if you like excitement and am a normal girl that still needs it, click here to be excited and get a pic :) x (this text made me think maybe I was being spammed by one of those porn bots or something but there was no link so I was just confused)
Me: Are you are a real person? (because of the bot thing, lol!)
SG: Of course I real person that would like knows you have needs too and Wang exciting
Me: Ok, well you sound like your trying to spam me? Anyway, I'm a professional escort so although I enjoy my job I don't meet up "for fun", if you'd like to meet me then let me know the details I asked for and I'll get back to you then x
SG: Lol ok, well if you ever need excitement other then a prevy old man, you let me know and I sure you can experience some fun too x
Me: I meet plenty of lovely clients thanks so I don't have time for meeting for fun. Thanks for your interest, maybe try a swinging site or hookup site if you want to meet just for fun. x
SG: But everyone needs fun, not just for money, that's a job. I done need a hookup site,.as I can do ok without one. But your a pretty lady that still needs excitement regardless of your job.x
Me: Would you ask a builder to come work on your house for fun? I am a full time escort and this number is for sensible clients to make a booking. Please don't contact me again.
SG: (he had to get the last word of course!) Hardly the same comparison ha. Sadly I am.neither old or desperate and just wanted to add excitement in your life

That's OK random Smug Git, I don't think I'd get much excitement in my life meeting you for free.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 09 April 2016, 11:47:55 am

Hiya
I'm looking for someone who is going to really give me the works!! I am sick of fake escorts! That don't care about pleasing there Client! Lol so if you can offer me first class fun! Email me back and we can arrange a booking. I'm 27 fit body and only use Escorts so my partner doesn't find me out out lol thanks hope here back off you ;) xxxx

pillock
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 09 April 2016, 11:59:45 am
Seem to be getting a lot of messages from kids recently saying they want to lose their virginity and they promise they are 16 and "It's legal so it's okay" saying they have the money. I'm pretty sure they are just school kids trying to get a free phone wank they never call just text and remind me I'm only a couple of years older and it's legal etc then list what they want to do to me in some cases.

I usually text back a stock reply about trying to meet a girl their own age and building a relationship which will be much better than a quick shag and to call me when they are over 25 and have a good enough job to pay for a top class hotel room.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 09 April 2016, 03:30:00 pm
Bellend:(At 11:41am)Can I see you at 12?
Me:No I've already got a booking.I could do 1:30?
Bellend:Ok that's fine
Me:How long for?
Wait's for 10 mins no reply.
Me:I guess its not happening then.I'm going into my appointment in a minute
Bellend:15 mins.
I send address details and go into my booking.
I come out at 1:06pm to find 2 texts he sent at 12:06.
1)Wanting to extend 2)Then cancelling because apparently I don't seem like I am interested because I haven't answered.
Me:I texted plainly 2 times that I was busy at 12.How do you expect me to text back when I am with a client?!?Would you like me to play on my phone in your booking?
Him:It was a misunderstanding,don't be like that darling.I'll be there at 1:30.
Me:Nope you won't because while you were having a strop a regular rang and I'll be seeing him now as he doesn't behave like a spoilt brat!
True and my reg wanted an hour!I dodged a bullet with Mr Bigkid me thinks!What a total knob!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 10 April 2016, 06:53:12 pm
had a heavy long nigh out with friends last night.   came home to notice the whorephone was dead so stuck it on a charge.  unfortunately for some reason (old phone mind you) it goes on when you plug it in to charge once its died.

so was sitting catching up on bette4r call saul when the phone rings.  its not abut 4am and it states on all profiles and ads i only work during the day and nowhere that i work with another escort or whatever.


caller says hi and tried to make some chit chat, despite me saying i'm not working

oh, but we are 2 lovely gentlemen looking for 2 lovely girls, can you bring a friend?

again i say i'm not working, but to call to enquire for future bookings, during my stated working hours.

oh, but we are nice and want to have fin with 2 girls

click, block phone off.

turn it on this morning when i am ready to work and pick up a text sent at arounf 4.30 (different number)
no name nothing... just  "wanna come play with me at mine now!"

urgh, not a full moon this weekend is it?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Littlemisslondon on 10 April 2016, 07:27:08 pm
No but its last day of School Holidays.... Think I've seen a few brain dead dads this week!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 10 April 2016, 08:38:35 pm
How much is 25 minutes?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 10 April 2016, 08:40:25 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 10 April 2016, 08:38:35 pm
How much is 25 minutes?

Gosh, that's getting a bit specific!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 10 April 2016, 09:44:38 pm
I'd have quoted him my normal 30 min rate..60 for 25 mins and I'll give you the other 5 mins free! ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 12 April 2016, 08:17:57 am
Hello my name is Marcus. Would you be interested in coming to work for me and are be paying you ?850 for 6 hours per day think about my job offer and remember all the money you earn is all yours you don't have to per me a cut. For this job that I'm offering you I first need to interview you for the job for me to know you the best escort for the job. Or how would you like and come and do a homemade sex video with a client and you get to choose to show your face or not but you will get to paid more for showing you face in the home made sex video. You will get paid ?20,000 you get to earn it in 2 days cash upfront that's if you interested we are based in Birmingham.[sic]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: You only live once on 12 April 2016, 03:35:21 pm

I had one similar yesterday. He texts

Hi I know you don't do Sundays but I'm in the area and thought you might like a glass of wine and a foot massage as a treat.

It's the tone of some guys you just know they are aiming for a freebie,
[/quote]

More like a condescending fucktard ..... why do they think we are in need of a treat??

So annoying but selfishly glad it's not just me that gets them haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: peachybum on 12 April 2016, 06:06:54 pm
*Phone rings

Me: Hello
Idiot: Is this *****, when are you available?....
*My dog barks quite loudly at something, I have no idea what lol
Idiot: Did you just bark?
Me: Yes, I like to randomly act like that down the phone to potential clients
Idiot: Oh well....erm....I'm not sure about that fetish....erm....*Hangs up*

Fetish??? It clearly sounded like an actual dog not me making random noises. I mean come on......!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 12 April 2016, 06:36:20 pm
Quote from: peachybum on 12 April 2016, 06:06:54 pm
*Phone rings

Me: Hello
Idiot: Is this *****, when are you available?....
*My dog barks quite loudly at something, I have no idea what lol
Idiot: Did you just bark?
Me: Yes, I like to randomly act like that down the phone to potential clients
Idiot: Oh well....erm....I'm not sure about that fetish....erm....*Hangs up*

Fetish??? It clearly sounded like an actual dog not me making random noises. I mean come on......!

Actually LOL at this!!! :D :D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 13 April 2016, 10:53:23 pm
Urgh, just got asked for bareback, but in emojis  :FF

Hi (rabbit emoji) can I bear (bear emoji) (back arrow emoji) you
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 13 April 2016, 11:31:12 pm
got an email today on AW:

"How booked are you?"

Too booked to reply to such a stupid question!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 14 April 2016, 12:55:21 am
Quote from: peachybum on 12 April 2016, 06:06:54 pm
*Phone rings

Me: Hello
Idiot: Is this *****, when are you available?....
*My dog barks quite loudly at something, I have no idea what lol
Idiot: Did you just bark?
Me: Yes, I like to randomly act like that down the phone to potential clients
Idiot: Oh well....erm....I'm not sure about that fetish....erm....*Hangs up*

Fetish??? It clearly sounded like an actual dog not me making random noises. I mean come on......!

HAHAHA this made me LOL too
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: OFFS on 14 April 2016, 02:10:19 am
Last week I had the flu. Full on sweats, shivers, sickness, headaches...and where all that snot comes from beats me. The bags under my eyes where bigger than my saggy boobs!

Text from a regular comes in...

Him: Can I see you? Feeling well horny and wanna unload in your face
Me: No, am in bed and near death with this flu bug
Him: Are you sure?
Me: Yes I know how I feel. Am going back to bed, call me next week


I had gone back to bed but when I woke I got this

Him: Can I just come and wank over your tits?
Him: Okay, if I can't wank over your tits can I use your bathroom to wank in?

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jess440 on 14 April 2016, 07:54:29 am
'What can you offer for ?20? I'll be with you in 10 mins xxx'

My reply was 'A slap in the face for even asking'

I never heard back..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 14 April 2016, 08:24:49 am
Good answer Jess!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 14 April 2016, 09:48:26 am
Quote from: OFFS on 14 April 2016, 02:10:19 am
Last week I had the flu. Full on sweats, shivers, sickness, headaches...and where all that snot comes from beats me. The bags under my eyes where bigger than my saggy boobs!

Text from a regular comes in...

Him: Can I see you? Feeling well horny and wanna unload in your face
Me: No, am in bed and near death with this flu bug
Him: Are you sure?
Me: Yes I know how I feel. Am going back to bed, call me next week


I had gone back to bed but when I woke I got this

Him: Can I just come and wank over your tits?
Him: Okay, if I can't wank over your tits can I use your bathroom to wank in?

 :FF
I hate it when they won't take no for an answer, I had a guy on Monday and when I told him I'm fully booked he kept on texting "Please just 15 mins" etc etc, no!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 14 April 2016, 10:02:34 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 14 April 2016, 09:48:26 am
Quote from: OFFS on 14 April 2016, 02:10:19 am
Last week I had the flu. Full on sweats, shivers, sickness, headaches...and where all that snot comes from beats me. The bags under my eyes where bigger than my saggy boobs!

Text from a regular comes in...

Him: Can I see you? Feeling well horny and wanna unload in your face
Me: No, am in bed and near death with this flu bug
Him: Are you sure?
Me: Yes I know how I feel. Am going back to bed, call me next week


I had gone back to bed but when I woke I got this

Him: Can I just come and wank over your tits?
Him: Okay, if I can't wank over your tits can I use your bathroom to wank in?

 :FF
I hate it when they won't take no for an answer, I had a guy on Monday and when I told him I'm fully booked he kept on texting "Please just 15 mins" etc etc, no!

Oh god yes. I feel rage when that happens.

I'm grumpy, I know this, but that begging and wheedling shit makes it very hard to refrain from telling them to go to fuck.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsDee on 14 April 2016, 10:16:56 am
Nice tits babe can i suck your nips!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tinkerbell on 14 April 2016, 11:09:13 am
2.57am 'Are you awake?'
3.43am 'wakey wakey'
4.05am 'forget it, I've had a wank'.

What is wrong with people??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 14 April 2016, 06:14:00 pm
Had someone ring me at 8am, I text back and asked him to ring back after 9am if he wanted to see me. He immediately rung back twice, so I ignored him. He called back in the afternoon and I was bored so answered him and arranged the booking, but ended up cancelling. Had a bad feeling about it, if he couldn't follow my instructions re booking it's unlikely he would have respected my boundaries.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bella.X on 15 April 2016, 11:10:58 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 29 March 2016, 03:57:41 pm
Email yesterday,
Him "See you do prostate massage, how you do this?"
Me "Yes, I massage your prostate with my finger"
Him "Where is it?"
 ???
I'm actually laughing out loud
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: OFFS on 15 April 2016, 04:36:38 pm
Him: I can't be bothered to text you anymore so want to know when you're working as you text and said all over the weekend
Me: Yes I am working tomorrow and Sunday over the weekend
Him: (In a deadly serious tone) well that's not the whole weekend and therefore is false advertising
Me: (in shock otherwise would have replied with something witty) I apologise for misleading
Him: I want a HJ so tell me what times you are working. I can't give you any notice so you'll have to be ready
Me: I'm sorry but cannot forsee exactly what I will be doing at every precise second of the weekend but will be watching F1 so not working while that's on
Him: Fine, just wank me while it's on
Me: I don't think you understand me, I want to watch it. Call me over the weekend


Am sitting here now waiting for a call from Trading Standards about my false advertising. :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 15 April 2016, 08:26:06 pm
Quote from: Tinkerbell on 14 April 2016, 11:09:13 am
2.57am 'Are you awake?'
3.43am 'wakey wakey'
4.05am 'forget it, I've had a wank'.

What is wrong with people??

The majority of these men are psychotic tbh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 15 April 2016, 09:33:44 pm
Quote from: MrsTomHardy on 08 April 2016, 03:36:08 am
Would you do an outcall to me tonight? Id come to you but im on tag.
Oh lordy lord!

Aw ive seen a few guys with a Tag they were lovely and really embarrassed about it - I didn't like to ask what it was for though
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 15 April 2016, 10:47:51 pm
1:

 Hi Hannah
I'm *** I have the following fantasise and hope you are the girl to help me with it. ( it's nothing really weird )
I would li,e to come to your house and find you waiting on the floor naked except for a pair of killer heels, kneeling down ankles touching knees spread with your hands on your head. I would like the way we talk to one another to be in a sub/ Dom way, I would like the meeting to include oral and sex with some spanking ( you receiving ) nothing Heavy though, and anything else's you feel will contribute to the experience would be greatly appreciated. I would like this as an incall on a one hour basis hope to hear back from you soon
Regards ***

Yes, I'll just open the door magically shall I? And let all the neighbours see in that im naked on the floor they must want to see that? Oh and lets not forget im happy to start off like this before even being paid. Can't wait!

2: Ring me. My number is ***

No thanks!

3: I want a sub slut to abuse. Convince me this is you.

Erm, no. So much no.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Teddy Bear on 17 April 2016, 04:30:12 am
"So because I'm paying you have to do whatever I say without argument right? If I want to fuck without a condom you have to do it and I can keep going and going until you are sore right? Even if you start to bleed then I don't have to stop right?

That's right (sarcasm)

Great because I want to fuck you til you bleed you slag, what's your address?

34 Go Fuck Yourself Lane *CLICK AND BLOCK*"

How do they tie their own shoes of a morning with brains that small?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 17 April 2016, 11:33:16 am
That is awful. Your reply was spot on.

That kind of guy should be reported to the police as it's abuse I think xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 17 April 2016, 11:37:26 pm
Quote from: Teddy Bear on 17 April 2016, 04:30:12 am
"So because I'm paying you have to do whatever I say without argument right? If I want to fuck without a condom you have to do it and I can keep going and going until you are sore right? Even if you start to bleed then I don't have to stop right?

That's right (sarcasm)

Great because I want to fuck you til you bleed you slag, what's your address?

34 Go Fuck Yourself Lane *CLICK AND BLOCK*"

How do they tie their own shoes of a morning with brains that small?

Wow.  He sounds like such a great guy!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 18 April 2016, 12:22:46 am
Twat :  'What are your rates please?'
Me:  'If you're in (my town) it's ?xx for half an hour or ?xx for an hour'
Twat :  'Send me your face pic and I'll decide if you are worth it'

Charmer eh?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 18 April 2016, 10:05:48 am
Calls at 4am. Auto text advises I am not available until 10am. Calls again later when I have finished and my auto reply goes out advising I am not available until the next day. Calls another 3 times. So I block the number. Checked block log this morning. 20 blocked calls from number within 10 minutes! Glad I blocked! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seleranda on 19 April 2016, 12:12:06 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 18 April 2016, 12:22:46 am
Twat :  'What are your rates please?'
Me:  'If you're in (my town) it's ?xx for half an hour or ?xx for an hour'
Twat :  'Send me your face pic and I'll decide if you are worth it'

Charmer eh?

'No, instead you send me your face pic and some descriptive bedroom skills and I'll decide if such an asshole is worth my time for only ?xx.' Not.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 19 April 2016, 12:21:07 pm
Text "r u avail?"

I was amazed he managed the punctuation since finishing an actual word seemed beyond him  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 19 April 2016, 08:10:19 pm
Wow!Some real charmers out there!Bloke via AW email with 10 positive feedbacks that bang on about what a nice bloke he is to boot!
Hey fatso,
Your place Friday
9pm
Bring a cigar!!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seleranda on 20 April 2016, 08:13:24 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 19 April 2016, 08:10:19 pm
Wow!Some real charmers out there!Bloke via AW email with 10 positive feedbacks that bang on about what a nice bloke he is to boot!
Hey fatso,
Your place Friday
9pm
Bring a cigar!!

I know you already got all excited about this tempting offer, but... don't bring the cigar! An accident might happen and end up burning his remaining braincell  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 April 2016, 09:48:23 am
Quote from: seleranda on 20 April 2016, 08:13:24 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 19 April 2016, 08:10:19 pm
Wow!Some real charmers out there!Bloke via AW email with 10 positive feedbacks that bang on about what a nice bloke he is to boot!
Hey fatso,
Your place Friday
9pm
Bring a cigar!!

I know you already got all excited about this tempting offer, but... don't bring the cigar! An accident might happen and end up burning his remaining braincell  :P
Oh no I'll def bring a cigar I can ram it up his arse and light it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 20 April 2016, 01:27:48 pm
This self entitled douche bag who I shouldn't gone on to take a booking from (lesson learned!):

I can come in anytime whatever is suitable for you. I would also like you to give me blow job without a condom please and I want to be your regular customer just give me something special so I can come to you every week.
Thanks X

I told him I offer the same good service to everyone and have plenty of regular clients who come back despite the fact I did nothing different or special with them! And of course he no showed :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 21 April 2016, 12:47:32 am
Quote from: Gizzi on 02 April 2016, 10:59:02 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 02 April 2016, 04:41:41 pm

Hi could you do my fantasy? I would love you to make me watch you crush my toy cars under your bum while you tell me its for the best as I'm too old for them now. Could you do that? Xxx


He's on a roll again I got the same yesterday. I wonder if anyone ever replies to him?
I just had him as well.I'm quite intrigued as to how he expects an arse to crush toy cars.Are they made of cardboard or something?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 21 April 2016, 01:20:08 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 21 April 2016, 12:47:32 am
Quote from: Gizzi on 02 April 2016, 10:59:02 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 02 April 2016, 04:41:41 pm

Hi could you do my fantasy? I would love you to make me watch you crush my toy cars under your bum while you tell me its for the best as I'm too old for them now. Could you do that? Xxx


He's on a roll again I got the same yesterday. I wonder if anyone ever replies to him?
I just had him as well.I'm quite intrigued as to how he expects an arse to crush toy cars.Are they made of cardboard or something?
I actually replied to him when I got it ages ago saying something like it sounded painful, he said I could wear jeans to do it  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sam T on 21 April 2016, 09:00:45 am
via email

Him:

Hello,

May I request more picture or any social media account with your pictures and daily life pics..

I am really looking forward for sessions in future..

Thanks!

Me:
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 21 April 2016, 09:14:35 am
Quote from: Tantraman Sam on 21 April 2016, 09:00:45 am
via email

Him:

Hello,

May I request more picture or any social media account with your pictures and daily life pics..

I am really looking forward for sessions in future..

Thanks!

Me:
wtf  ??? ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 21 April 2016, 09:39:57 am
Had a guy call last night - he sounded young with a semi-posh, sort of slick accent.

He said, "Yes I am definitely interested in meeting you - love your accent by the way - and I've just got a few questions for you."

I brace myself as the questions he's going to ask will almost certainly be fucking stupid.

"OK...."

"Yes, so as I said I want to see you and I'm thinking of spending a good bit of money, here."

I just cut him off. "No."

"Excuse me?"

"No. Just stop right there. I'm going to tell you right now it's a No."

Then I hung up the phone. He tried to call back but I blocked him.

Stupid twat will probaby never understand what he'd done wrong.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 21 April 2016, 04:03:26 pm
Just had this arrogant fool.

Him: hi i can split journey on sunday evening + wondered if u were close to station?
t y xx

Me:    Hello, as you can see from my profile:
"Now offering incalls in a private city centre apartment with secure entry within walking distance of the train station."
When would suit you for a booking and how long would you like?
Nova

Him:    
t b h to be chided for not absorbing yr profile totally doesn't really work 4 me

thanks anyway

Me: From someone with 3 aliases who has sent 1461 emails from this one alone and has only 2 feedback - I wasn't really expecting this to amount to anything anyway.
Bye.

Ha ha! He hasn't 'absorbed my profile totally.' How about just reading it, even once?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 21 April 2016, 04:31:23 pm
Email via adultwork: Can you do an outcall to Dronfield 15 minutes for ?30
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 21 April 2016, 06:13:24 pm
Quote from: Nova on 21 April 2016, 04:03:26 pm



Me: From someone with 3 aliases who has sent 1461 emails from this one alone and has only 2 feedback - I wasn't really expecting this to amount to anything anyway.
Bye.

Ha ha! He hasn't 'absorbed my profile totally.' How about just reading it, even once?


Reading your profile is far too complex for his retarded brain, and he wonders why he can't get anyone to let him book...




Another email received via adultwork: Hello do you see younger guys I'm wanting to book if you do.

Looked at his profile he's 21, it says clearly on mine that I don't see anyone under 25 with no exceptions! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 22 April 2016, 08:56:38 am
Idiot: "I'd like to do 15 minutes if you can get back to me asap"
Me: "Sure, please give my website a thorough read so you know what I offer and give me a call to arrange."
Idiot: "I've seen your page are you able to travel to me? Xxx" (Obviously hasn't as I'm incall only)
Me: "If you had read it you would know I'm incall only!"
Idiot: "It won't let me on the page cause my Sky box has blocked it babe could you get to Stapleford xxx"

No further replies from me. I don't do outcalls, I don't drive anyway so wouldn't even consider a 15 minute booking to somewhere nearly 30 miles away!

Why do they blantantly lie and say they've seen your details when they haven't.

 








Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 22 April 2016, 09:34:20 am
"babe, ring me for great time"

seeing as you only have -4 feedback then NOOOOO
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 22 April 2016, 11:12:34 am
"Hello there, I just rang you and sending this email regarding whether you'll be able to do my fetish! I have a huge foot/nylon fetish but more than anything I have a huge giantess fetish, where I wish to be shrunken down by you and get to go in between your toes and fit inside your shoes with your feet"

Sure I'll get some of my magic shrinking powder & away we go  ??? getting all the windup merchants today.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 22 April 2016, 11:17:20 am
Quote from: Chatterly on 22 April 2016, 11:12:34 am
"Hello there, I just rang you and sending this email regarding whether you'll be able to do my fetish! I have a huge foot/nylon fetish but more than anything I have a huge giantess fetish, where I wish to be shrunken down by you and get to go in between your toes and fit inside your shoes with your feet"

Sure I'll get some of my magic shrinking powder & away we go  ??? getting all the windup merchants today.

Brilliant, needed a good laugh today  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 22 April 2016, 12:45:41 pm
Quote from: Chatterly on 22 April 2016, 11:12:34 am
"Hello there, I just rang you and sending this email regarding whether you'll be able to do my fetish! I have a huge foot/nylon fetish but more than anything I have a huge giantess fetish, where I wish to be shrunken down by you and get to go in between your toes and fit inside your shoes with your feet"

Sure I'll get some of my magic shrinking powder & away we go  ??? getting all the windup merchants today.

Hahahahaha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 22 April 2016, 12:55:54 pm
Phone call just now....

Prat. Hi can I come and visit you?
Me. Give him the details of what I offer and a rough guide to where I'm located.
Prat. How much is half an hour.
Me ?60 all inclusive.
Prat. Oh, can I give you ?50 and see how we go?
Me. Err NO!
I put the phone down and he calls back and I refuse the call so he then sends me this text...
I'm sorry I did (Freudian slip?)mean to offend you but I would like to come and see you for half an hour please.
No chance!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 22 April 2016, 04:35:07 pm
Quote from: geordie on 22 April 2016, 11:17:20 am
Quote from: Chatterly on 22 April 2016, 11:12:34 am
"Hello there, I just rang you and sending this email regarding whether you'll be able to do my fetish! I have a huge foot/nylon fetish but more than anything I have a huge giantess fetish, where I wish to be shrunken down by you and get to go in between your toes and fit inside your shoes with your feet"

Sure I'll get some of my magic shrinking powder & away we go  ??? getting all the windup merchants today.

Brilliant, needed a good laugh today  ;D

it is hilarious considering I'm only 5.2. I told him I'll ask Alice from wonderland for some of her magic shrinking potion & it will be delivered in 3-5 working days. Think he was on something.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 22 April 2016, 06:30:41 pm
Phone rings.Me:Hello.
He puts the phone down.Literally 10 seconds later 'Hi is that sexy Bibi?'
Me:U might have found out if you hadn't put the phone down.
Him:Sorry it was the signal.
So your signal was so bad that within seconds of you putting the phone down without saying a word you managed to get a text out?Why do they lie and play silly games?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 22 April 2016, 06:59:55 pm
Quote from: Chatterly on 22 April 2016, 04:35:07 pm
Quote from: geordie on 22 April 2016, 11:17:20 am
Quote from: Chatterly on 22 April 2016, 11:12:34 am
"Hello there, I just rang you and sending this email regarding whether you'll be able to do my fetish! I have a huge foot/nylon fetish but more than anything I have a huge giantess fetish, where I wish to be shrunken down by you and get to go in between your toes and fit inside your shoes with your feet"

Sure I'll get some of my magic shrinking powder & away we go  ??? getting all the windup merchants today.

Brilliant, needed a good laugh today  ;D

it is hilarious considering I'm only 5.2. I told him I'll ask Alice from wonderland for some of her magic shrinking potion & it will be delivered in 3-5 working days. Think he was on something.

Careful - Giant/ess and Crushing fetishes are actual things, and your reply is probably giving him the free wank fodder he was after. Best to either ignore or give a bland "sorry I don't offer this service" in return.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 23 April 2016, 08:53:17 am
I had one email me yesterday asking if I would crush his toy cars under my butt, whilst telling him that it's for the best because he's too old to play with them now.

I'm into age play on occasion (with me as the 'little') but not when the 'adult' is mean! That makes me sad!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 23 April 2016, 09:13:45 am
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 23 April 2016, 08:53:17 am
I had one email me yesterday asking if I would crush his toy cars under my butt, whilst telling him that it's for the best because he's too old to play with them now.

I'm into age play on occasion (with me as the 'little') but not when the 'adult' is mean! That makes me sad!
Yes I had he has been doing the rounds. I mentioned him on the previous page. I actually asked him what they were made of and he said plastic and I crush them under foot if I wanted. Asked him to get in touch with a day and time..no reply surprise surprise lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 23 April 2016, 10:09:31 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 23 April 2016, 09:13:45 am
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 23 April 2016, 08:53:17 am
I had one email me yesterday asking if I would crush his toy cars under my butt, whilst telling him that it's for the best because he's too old to play with them now.

I'm into age play on occasion (with me as the 'little') but not when the 'adult' is mean! That makes me sad!
Yes I had he has been doing the rounds. I mentioned him on the previous page. I actually asked him what they were made of and he said plastic and I crush them under foot if I wanted. Asked him to get in touch with a day and time..no reply surprise surprise lol!

Ha! I missed that!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 23 April 2016, 10:46:15 am
Caller today who was already in my phone as hardworkonthephone.After having to nicely ask him to have a read of my profile and then we could set something up he rang back like 2 mins later saying he had read it and could we do an hour at 11:30.He then started texting stuff like 'Do you want me to bring you a drink? I said at 11:30 in the morning,no ta! He persisted saying he would bring one for me to have later...again I said no thanks.I'm not a big drinker and I found this a bit weird and pushy.If a client wants to bring a bottle of plonk to drink on a later booking together or a as a pressie then ok but they don't normally make a big deal going on about it like that.He then asked if I dress up and if I would do rolepaly. I find it such a vague question especially when someone has already booked, to me you would ask about any requests beforehand and if he had read my profile as claimed he would know I don't do text tennis or dressing requests.I told him I was going to cancel our booking as I didn't think we were suited and he went on and on about it via text. They don't seem to get it's up to me who I see and if I get a vibe that all is not well I will exercise that right! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 23 April 2016, 01:02:01 pm
Seems like the hagglers are back lately. Had a guy this morning asking about availability and prices etc. Told him I had an hour later on and the price for it. "No no this is too much I can pay you xx amount"  "Um no that's my price for an hour"  "Okay for 45 minutes I'll pay you xx amount" "....This isn't a negotiation buddy you know my prices and you either pay that or you don't"  "Well you are a rude little girl why don't you grow up? You'll get nothing from me then you stupid *every name he can think of*" Eventually I hung up and he tried to call me back which I refused to answer and later he texted me some condescending passive aggressive apology before I blocked him.

Was the worst one I had in the last couple of days but had a few who tried to haggle and dictate to me what they are paying and for how long.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 24 April 2016, 01:04:16 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 23 April 2016, 01:02:01 pm
Seems like the hagglers are back lately. Had a guy this morning asking about availability and prices etc. Told him I had an hour later on and the price for it. "No no this is too much I can pay you xx amount"  "Um no that's my price for an hour"  "Okay for 45 minutes I'll pay you xx amount" "....This isn't a negotiation buddy you know my prices and you either pay that or you don't"  "Well you are a rude little girl why don't you grow up? You'll get nothing from me then you stupid *every name he can think of*" Eventually I hung up and he tried to call me back which I refused to answer and later he texted me some condescending passive aggressive apology before I blocked him.

Was the worst one I had in the last couple of days but had a few who tried to haggle and dictate to me what they are paying and for how long.

ugh wtf is wrong with them!!!

I can't remember if I posted about this guy already but I had one the other day ring me and ask if he could book me for an hour. I said yes and he said, that's ?100 right? and I'm like er no, its ?100 for half an hour.  And hes  like oh. oh... well that's more than i was looking to pay. Oh... erm... do you offer 15 minutes?

I don't usually, but I was bored and I hadn't had any bookings that day, and it was almost home time so i thought sod it, why not.  I ALWAYS cut cheapskates off but I really needed the money so I told him I don't normally do them but would see him for 15mins, for ?60.  He then tried to haggle me down to ?50. I lost my shit with him completely and told him haggling is rude and disrespectful especially since I offered him an appointment I wouldn't normally offer. He's all 'oh i wasn't haggling I wasn't' and I said YES YOU WERE, YOU LITERALLY JUST DID, NOW GO AWAY I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ANY MORE' and hung up  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 24 April 2016, 06:55:33 pm
Quote from: Nova on 21 April 2016, 04:03:26 pm
Just had this arrogant fool.

Him: hi i can split journey on sunday evening + wondered if u were close to station?
t y xx

Me:    Hello, as you can see from my profile:
"Now offering incalls in a private city centre apartment with secure entry within walking distance of the train station."
When would suit you for a booking and how long would you like?
Nova


Him:    
t b h to be chided for not absorbing yr profile totally doesn't really work 4 me

thanks anyway

Me: From someone with 3 aliases who has sent 1461 emails from this one alone and has only 2 feedback - I wasn't really expecting this to amount to anything anyway.
Bye.

Ha ha! He hasn't 'absorbed my profile totally.' How about just reading it, even once?

Although this guy has now blocked me, I can see that he has sent 66 more emails from this account in the last 3 days.
FFS how can someone justify wasting people's time this much?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 24 April 2016, 08:42:35 pm
Quote from: Nova on 24 April 2016, 06:55:33 pm
Quote from: Nova on 21 April 2016, 04:03:26 pm
Just had this arrogant fool.

Him: hi i can split journey on sunday evening + wondered if u were close to station?
t y xx

Me:    Hello, as you can see from my profile:
"Now offering incalls in a private city centre apartment with secure entry within walking distance of the train station."
When would suit you for a booking and how long would you like?
Nova


Him:    
t b h to be chided for not absorbing yr profile totally doesn't really work 4 me

thanks anyway

Me: From someone with 3 aliases who has sent 1461 emails from this one alone and has only 2 feedback - I wasn't really expecting this to amount to anything anyway.
Bye.

Ha ha! He hasn't 'absorbed my profile totally.' How about just reading it, even once?

Although this guy has now blocked me, I can see that he has sent 66 more emails from this account in the last 3 days.
FFS how can someone justify wasting people's time this much?


Oh god what a sad fucking freak, so he spends all his spare time wasting other peoples wtf! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 24 April 2016, 09:41:08 pm
Quote from: Chatterly on 22 April 2016, 11:12:34 am
"Hello there, I just rang you and sending this email regarding whether you'll be able to do my fetish! I have a huge foot/nylon fetish but more than anything I have a huge giantess fetish, where I wish to be shrunken down by you and get to go in between your toes and fit inside your shoes with your feet"

Sure I'll get some of my magic shrinking powder & away we go  ??? getting all the windup merchants today.

When I did adult phone lines this kind of thing wasn't uncommon. Pretty tricky to do in a booking, weird on the phone but if you have any sort of imagination it can be quite fun. If I had to guess I'd say he was looking for freebie phone sex, but this is his genuine fetish.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 24 April 2016, 11:57:51 pm
"hi u working tonight outcall"

YOU'RE NOT ORDERING A PIZZA
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: K47 on 25 April 2016, 12:27:27 am
"just wondering if you wud let me bring my sex toy it's a pussy mastibator x "
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 25 April 2016, 12:43:44 am
"is it possible you could give me a call or text on ***"

Hmm, I couldn't the first and second time, I don't think I will this time either.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Vichyssoise on 25 April 2016, 02:06:50 am
Text today:
Him, what will ?20 get me.
Me, a spending spree in Poundland.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 25 April 2016, 03:38:55 am
Quote from: K47 on 25 April 2016, 12:27:27 am
"just wondering if you wud let me bring my sex toy it's a pussy mastibator x "

I got this clown as well. He asked me the same thing last week as well. Are you in Leeds too?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 25 April 2016, 12:57:44 pm
Great retort Carnal must remember that one excellent!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 25 April 2016, 01:06:53 pm
"I need a deep throat queen"
"Hi bitch, you look hot"
"Are you available for an outcall in Benidorm?"
"How much?"

These are all from the weekend, I'm so sick of idiots texting I don't bother replying these days
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: K47 on 25 April 2016, 01:18:27 pm
Quote from: BJC on 25 April 2016, 03:38:55 am
Quote from: K47 on 25 April 2016, 12:27:27 am
"just wondering if you wud let me bring my sex toy it's a pussy mastibator x "

I got this clown as well. He asked me the same thing last week as well. Are you in Leeds too?

I'm in Leeds yeah  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 25 April 2016, 03:06:54 pm
First caller of the day asked if he could 'stick it up my arse'.
Second caller was someone who has already booked twice and failed to confirm.
Third caller asked where I was and how much it was.Told him prices for 30 mins and an hour.He then asked how long he got?!?Er 30 mins or a fecking hour!!He then asked if 'it' was good told him no it was rubbish and ended the call! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 25 April 2016, 04:10:47 pm
I had a very lengthy email from somebody wanting bareback sex for 3 whole hours.

I NEVER do bareback and in addition I would never do 3 hours meet even with the usual protected sex unless I had met the person before and they were an absolute dreamboat.

The dreamboats don't tend to roll up too often either!!  Let's be honest lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: peachybum on 25 April 2016, 06:23:12 pm
I have it on my profile that I dont respond to texts messages at all in bold and capitals but i still get stupid texts through like this -

idiot number 1) horny fit builder, workin in leices, dare u to bend that bum over for 5 mins and i wank over it......no sex... easy ?3o....gotta try.x (sic)

not sure if thats ?30 or ?3? either way i'll pass tah..

idiot number 2)

1st text) Hi hun dom male from cov here w/e, all very clean n nicely trimmed! If i travel nearly an hr each way will u do me a deal on a min sensual be to comp please? gonna cost me 20 in juice, thank you, love sir x. (sic)

2nd text) edit:15 min

3rd text) edits: not be but bjx

not sure at all what he was trying to say.....but it's a no from me! :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Carolines secret on 25 April 2016, 08:33:52 pm
Quote from: peachybum on 25 April 2016, 06:23:12 pm
I have it on my profile that I dont respond to texts messages at all in bold and capitals but i still get stupid texts through like this -

idiot number 1) horny fit builder, workin in leices, dare u to bend that bum over for 5 mins and i wank over it......no sex... easy ?3o....gotta try.x (sic)

not sure if thats ?30 or ?3? either way i'll pass tah..

idiot number 2)

1st text) Hi hun dom male from cov here w/e, all very clean n nicely trimmed! If i travel nearly an hr each way will u do me a deal on a min sensual be to comp please? gonna cost me 20 in juice, thank you, love sir x. (sic)

2nd text) edit:15 min

3rd text) edits: not be but bjx

not sure at all what he was trying to say.....but it's a no from me! :FF


I have same request clearly written on my profile too.
but many brainless morons can only text and wank  they can't read
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 26 April 2016, 08:37:38 am
"Hi do you have a friend who can  watch you giving me a bj or join in, thx babe."

Yawn.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 26 April 2016, 12:31:06 pm
Text..
Can u do 15 minute for ?30 of no sex or oral, just u squat above my face so I can rim u and u spit on me x

WTF is wrong with these men?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 26 April 2016, 01:14:23 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 26 April 2016, 12:31:06 pm
Text..
Can u do 15 minute for ?30 of no sex or oral, just u squat above my face so I can rim u and u spit on me x

WTF is wrong with these men?
I do this, not saying you should but it's quite common in my bookings and easy! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Littlemisslondon on 26 April 2016, 01:16:32 pm
Guy booked for 30 mins, on arrival to the hotel carpark he texts me,
Him  'Arrived, do you do duo's at all?'
Me    No
Him 'Only my girlfriend is with me and she wants to join in'
Me   No I don't, so lets cancel the appointment
Him 'Oh please don't do that, its ok she can sit in the corner and not say anything'
Me    No please leave
Him 'Ok Ill take her home and then come back'
Me   No Just leave, i do not want to see you.
Him  Why not, what did I do wrong? She can wait in the car
Me   Leave
10 mins later
Him 'Its me again, I've taken her home, can I have my appointment now'
Ignored, what an idiot !!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 26 April 2016, 01:30:44 pm
Quote from: Littlemisslondon on 26 April 2016, 01:16:32 pm
Guy booked for 30 mins, on arrival to the hotel carpark he texts me,
Him  'Arrived, do you do duo's at all?'
Me    No
Him 'Only my girlfriend is with me and she wants to join in'
Me   No I don't, so lets cancel the appointment
Him 'Oh please don't do that, its ok she can sit in the corner and not say anything'
Me    No please leave
Him 'Ok Ill take her home and then come back'
Me   No Just leave, i do not want to see you.
Him  Why not, what did I do wrong? She can wait in the car
Me   Leave
10 mins later
Him 'Its me again, I've taken her home, can I have my appointment now'
Ignored, what an idiot !!
How rude! Some think they set the rules on who we see and when, his girlfriend sounds like a mug too x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Littlemisslondon on 26 April 2016, 01:32:35 pm
Lol I know, what an oddball!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 26 April 2016, 01:34:56 pm
Quote from: Littlemisslondon on 26 April 2016, 01:32:35 pm
Lol I know, what an oddball!
Imagine your boyfriend dragging you along for a threesome then telling you it's off and dropping you home and going back on his own! I'd pack my stuff and fuck off x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Littlemisslondon on 26 April 2016, 01:38:38 pm
Nia... He wouldn't be my boyfriend in the first place !! Hahaha, x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 26 April 2016, 01:41:12 pm
Quote from: Littlemisslondon on 26 April 2016, 01:38:38 pm
Nia... He wouldn't be my boyfriend in the first place !! Hahaha, x
100% not! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 26 April 2016, 03:00:11 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 26 April 2016, 01:14:23 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 26 April 2016, 12:31:06 pm
Text..
Can u do 15 minute for ?30 of no sex or oral, just u squat above my face so I can rim u and u spit on me x

WTF is wrong with these men?
I do this, not saying you should but it's quite common in my bookings and easy! X
Would you do it for ?30?? PM me your tel number I will pass it on to him lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 26 April 2016, 04:21:14 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 26 April 2016, 03:00:11 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 26 April 2016, 01:14:23 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 26 April 2016, 12:31:06 pm
Text..
Can u do 15 minute for ?30 of no sex or oral, just u squat above my face so I can rim u and u spit on me x

WTF is wrong with these men?
I do this, not saying you should but it's quite common in my bookings and easy! X
Would you do it for ?30?? PM me your tel number I will pass it on to him lol x
Not for 30 quid no! I'll do it for 40 quid though x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 26 April 2016, 06:55:42 pm
Yep for 40 no probs lol.Just another stupid haggler though really.They think it's like buying a rug at a Moroccan Bazaar!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 26 April 2016, 07:13:48 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 26 April 2016, 06:55:42 pm
Yep for 40 no probs lol.Just another stupid haggler though really.They think it's like buying a rug at a Moroccan Bazaar!
Yes haggling is a straight out phone down, I love the 15 minute fetish jobs though, once had to spit in a guys face for 15 minutes, not as easy as I thought though as my mouth was as dry as a nuns cunt after 5 minutes, if he ups his price send him my way Bibi x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: peachybum on 26 April 2016, 08:41:20 pm
I tried to come last time it didnt seem discreet enough, is ur back door at the back of ur house?

This from a man I had saved in my phone as no show addy collector.

Had enough of them twits today gonna get my pjs on and munch on chocolate.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LovePod on 26 April 2016, 10:28:20 pm
Email on AW

"Hi I'm 35 got nice pierced cock I have a large clean truck with bed and curtains I've helped escorts in the past with pics and movies or if you want some fun in a truck no fees but happy to help"   ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 27 April 2016, 01:04:08 am
Please tell me I'm not the only one who got this... (PS: my name isn't Lorraine and have no idea who this person is)

Action.
Your dirty black panties are pulled down between your legs. They are sticky as fuck and have stains of your cream in the gussett. Say sniff my knickers but dont tell my son i let you smell my fanny
Enter me.
Oh lorraine. Your sexy as fuck. Your my mates mum ive fancied since i saw your tits and used vibrator i sniffed and licked clean to taste your pussy
You say does my fanny smell fishy like the filty babysitter trish said her panties stink of when she left them on your bed after she slept over one night to seduce you after she saw you wanking with her wet undies while she was in the bath but wanted to see if i would shag her older mucky minge my masturbation made moslty musky minge moist mummys middle made milk making man made mucky movies massivley made in minges my mates mums make me maybe meet your female fanny and filthy fuck from first fanny found fishy and forever favourite fantasie for friends forty fuckable feel from her black dirty panties i sniffed after lorraine got undressed and took a piss i would love to find flirty fingers finally feel fanny from fishy lorraines minge my nose was sniffing as she was saying smell my fanny as i spunked up her cunt that id only had cum for in her smelly knickers that were wet and warm and wanted to wank with her aroma as she was so smelly and sexy after her gussett stains were so sticky and sniffed after stopping seeing spunk simaliar sloppy smears since sadly snatches seen and shagged were soley a slag some horny girl my age let me fuck her but never knew if her pussy was smelly and tasty until my mates mums cream was cummed for by smelling her moist undies you may chose the scence where i spunk up your cunt while im sniffing the smell and saying oh lorraine your fannys smelly and fishy and she says ssh my sons downtairs. Spunk up his mum. Smell my finger. Sniff it. Smell my bum. My seven inch cock shoots my load up your holes showing the sticky shots slowly seep from you twat as ive show a sniff of smelly knickers shoved in my face to shag your minge in a movie made matures musky minges make my mastyrbation made real if her fanny smells like my mates mums knickers i wanked loads for lorraines panties and still would shag her if she let my 32 yr old cock go in her 58 yr old holes. Xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 27 April 2016, 01:25:05 am
Quote from: LovePod on 26 April 2016, 10:28:20 pm
Email on AW

"Hi I'm 35 got nice pierced cock I have a large clean truck with bed and curtains I've helped escorts in the past with pics and movies or if you want some fun in a truck no fees but happy to help"   ::)

This drives me mad...why do they think we'd want 'some fun'?

Fuck off to POF!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 27 April 2016, 01:30:24 am
On the subject of freebie hunters:

''Hi Curvygal, we met before, you visited me at my place in ****** *****.  I wanted to see what you're up to tonight''
''Hi **, Oh yes I remember (I don't really, but what else am I going to say?). It's nice to hear from you how have you been?
Yes I am available tonight''
''Great!  But are you going to charge me this time lol''
''erm, of course?''
''Oh babe, I thought we'd be meeting for fun :(''

I swear, he actually put the sad face emoji!

And a random text from a regular who won't be a regular if he keeps this shit up:  ''Do you ever just do it because, like, you're horny lol''
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 27 April 2016, 09:06:31 am
Quote from: Curvygal on 27 April 2016, 01:30:24 am

And a random text from a regular who won't be a regular if he keeps this shit up:  ''Do you ever just do it because, like, you're horny lol''

i get this alot and  i reply " yes i do, with my husband (more assertive than saying fianc?e) hahah
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 27 April 2016, 10:11:50 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 27 April 2016, 01:04:08 am
Please tell me I'm not the only one who got this... (PS: my name isn't Lorraine and have no idea who this person is)

Action.
Your dirty black panties are pulled down between your legs. They are sticky as fuck and have stains of your cream in the gussett. Say sniff my knickers but dont tell my son i let you smell my fanny
Enter me.
Oh lorraine. Your sexy as fuck. Your my mates mum ive fancied since i saw your tits and used vibrator i sniffed and licked clean to taste your pussy
You say does my fanny smell fishy like the filty babysitter trish said her panties stink of when she left them on your bed after she slept over one night to seduce you after she saw you wanking with her wet undies while she was in the bath but wanted to see if i would shag her older mucky minge my masturbation made moslty musky minge moist mummys middle made milk making man made mucky movies massivley made in minges my mates mums make me maybe meet your female fanny and filthy fuck from first fanny found fishy and forever favourite fantasie for friends forty fuckable feel from her black dirty panties i sniffed after lorraine got undressed and took a piss i would love to find flirty fingers finally feel fanny from fishy lorraines minge my nose was sniffing as she was saying smell my fanny as i spunked up her cunt that id only had cum for in her smelly knickers that were wet and warm and wanted to wank with her aroma as she was so smelly and sexy after her gussett stains were so sticky and sniffed after stopping seeing spunk simaliar sloppy smears since sadly snatches seen and shagged were soley a slag some horny girl my age let me fuck her but never knew if her pussy was smelly and tasty until my mates mums cream was cummed for by smelling her moist undies you may chose the scence where i spunk up your cunt while im sniffing the smell and saying oh lorraine your fannys smelly and fishy and she says ssh my sons downtairs. Spunk up his mum. Smell my finger. Sniff it. Smell my bum. My seven inch cock shoots my load up your holes showing the sticky shots slowly seep from you twat as ive show a sniff of smelly knickers shoved in my face to shag your minge in a movie made matures musky minges make my mastyrbation made real if her fanny smells like my mates mums knickers i wanked loads for lorraines panties and still would shag her if she let my 32 yr old cock go in her 58 yr old holes. Xxx


That made me laugh and feel sick at the same time!!

Some men are so disgusting LOL
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendall on 27 April 2016, 11:02:31 am
The oh Lorraine bit cracked me up I just read it in leonard rossisters voice  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 27 April 2016, 12:06:41 pm
Quote from: Kdub on 27 April 2016, 11:02:31 am
The oh Lorraine bit cracked me up I just read it in leonard rossisters voice  ;D
Pmsl!! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 27 April 2016, 02:12:38 pm
Quote from: Riverprice on 27 April 2016, 09:06:31 am
Quote from: Curvygal on 27 April 2016, 01:30:24 am

And a random text from a regular who won't be a regular if he keeps this shit up:  ''Do you ever just do it because, like, you're horny lol''

i get this alot and  i reply " yes i do, with my husband (more assertive than saying fianc?e) hahah

I shall remember that for next time!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 27 April 2016, 04:12:02 pm
"Hey you :-)
I've read your profile with interest! ;-) What I'm after is pretty simple. I have a kidnap fetish where I'm kidnapped by a woman who uses chloroform to drug me :-) I've always had this thing where one of my old teachers grabs me, wraps a sheet round me for restraint and bundles me inside her full length long trench coat that she is wearing. She then chloroforms me to sleep. Chloroform is soo sexy, it gags the victim, and drugs them!

So anyway, what I'm after. All I want is a sort of GFE, kissing etc, massage, and continual chloroforming fun! You only need a pillowcase folded a couple of times, and in between a little fun kissing, you slowly chloroform me... again, and again and again... Obviously we won't use real chloroform, and I'll act out being drugged. It's the fantasy that I'm after!

What do you think? I'd love to play kidnap games with you! :-)"

What do you think ladies?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: latrice on 27 April 2016, 06:26:38 pm
Quote from: Chatterly on 27 April 2016, 04:12:02 pm
Obviously we won't use real chloroform, and I'll act out being drugged. It's the fantasy that I'm after!

Awww, I'm so disappointed by this plot twist, up to the last second I thought he wanted real chloroform  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 27 April 2016, 06:42:54 pm
Quote from: katrina on 27 April 2016, 10:11:50 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 27 April 2016, 01:04:08 am
Please tell me I'm not the only one who got this... (PS: my name isn't Lorraine and have no idea who this person is)

Action.
Your dirty black panties are pulled down between your legs. They are sticky as fuck and have stains of your cream in the gussett. Say sniff my knickers but dont tell my son i let you smell my fanny
Enter me.
Oh lorraine. Your sexy as fuck. Your my mates mum ive fancied since i saw your tits and used vibrator i sniffed and licked clean to taste your pussy
You say does my fanny smell fishy like the filty babysitter trish said her panties stink of when she left them on your bed after she slept over one night to seduce you after she saw you wanking with her wet undies while she was in the bath but wanted to see if i would shag her older mucky minge my masturbation made moslty musky minge moist mummys middle made milk making man made mucky movies massivley made in minges my mates mums make me maybe meet your female fanny and filthy fuck from first fanny found fishy and forever favourite fantasie for friends forty fuckable feel from her black dirty panties i sniffed after lorraine got undressed and took a piss i would love to find flirty fingers finally feel fanny from fishy lorraines minge my nose was sniffing as she was saying smell my fanny as i spunked up her cunt that id only had cum for in her smelly knickers that were wet and warm and wanted to wank with her aroma as she was so smelly and sexy after her gussett stains were so sticky and sniffed after stopping seeing spunk simaliar sloppy smears since sadly snatches seen and shagged were soley a slag some horny girl my age let me fuck her but never knew if her pussy was smelly and tasty until my mates mums cream was cummed for by smelling her moist undies you may chose the scence where i spunk up your cunt while im sniffing the smell and saying oh lorraine your fannys smelly and fishy and she says ssh my sons downtairs. Spunk up his mum. Smell my finger. Sniff it. Smell my bum. My seven inch cock shoots my load up your holes showing the sticky shots slowly seep from you twat as ive show a sniff of smelly knickers shoved in my face to shag your minge in a movie made matures musky minges make my mastyrbation made real if her fanny smells like my mates mums knickers i wanked loads for lorraines panties and still would shag her if she let my 32 yr old cock go in her 58 yr old holes. Xxx


That made me laugh and feel sick at the same time!!

Some men are so disgusting LOL
Wow!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 27 April 2016, 07:03:11 pm
 He's gets 10 points for alliteration  ;D "mucky musty minge" nice
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 27 April 2016, 09:26:53 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 27 April 2016, 06:42:54 pm
Quote from: katrina on 27 April 2016, 10:11:50 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 27 April 2016, 01:04:08 am
Please tell me I'm not the only one who got this... (PS: my name isn't Lorraine and have no idea who this person is)

Action.
Your dirty black panties are pulled down between your legs. They are sticky as fuck and have stains of your cream in the gussett. Say sniff my knickers but dont tell my son i let you smell my fanny
Enter me.
Oh lorraine. Your sexy as fuck. Your my mates mum ive fancied since i saw your tits and used vibrator i sniffed and licked clean to taste your pussy
You say does my fanny smell fishy like the filty babysitter trish said her panties stink of when she left them on your bed after she slept over one night to seduce you after she saw you wanking with her wet undies while she was in the bath but wanted to see if i would shag her older mucky minge my masturbation made moslty musky minge moist mummys middle made milk making man made mucky movies massivley made in minges my mates mums make me maybe meet your female fanny and filthy fuck from first fanny found fishy and forever favourite fantasie for friends forty fuckable feel from her black dirty panties i sniffed after lorraine got undressed and took a piss i would love to find flirty fingers finally feel fanny from fishy lorraines minge my nose was sniffing as she was saying smell my fanny as i spunked up her cunt that id only had cum for in her smelly knickers that were wet and warm and wanted to wank with her aroma as she was so smelly and sexy after her gussett stains were so sticky and sniffed after stopping seeing spunk simaliar sloppy smears since sadly snatches seen and shagged were soley a slag some horny girl my age let me fuck her but never knew if her pussy was smelly and tasty until my mates mums cream was cummed for by smelling her moist undies you may chose the scence where i spunk up your cunt while im sniffing the smell and saying oh lorraine your fannys smelly and fishy and she says ssh my sons downtairs. Spunk up his mum. Smell my finger. Sniff it. Smell my bum. My seven inch cock shoots my load up your holes showing the sticky shots slowly seep from you twat as ive show a sniff of smelly knickers shoved in my face to shag your minge in a movie made matures musky minges make my mastyrbation made real if her fanny smells like my mates mums knickers i wanked loads for lorraines panties and still would shag her if she let my 32 yr old cock go in her 58 yr old holes. Xxx


That made me laugh and feel sick at the same time!!

Some men are so disgusting LOL
Wow!
I think this wins the thread! Might as well not post anymore x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 27 April 2016, 10:22:24 pm
I agree. Out and out WINNER.

He who likes smelly knickers and fannys.

What a complete WEIRDO.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: alwayshappybunny on 28 April 2016, 10:29:01 am
WTF !!

I only read half way thru and then gave up, I suppose if we where all the same the world would be very boring, but there are limits.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 29 April 2016, 01:37:39 pm
on the phone about midnight
"You do incalls yeah?"

I know it's a dull one, but noone gets a booking with me if they can't say hello first.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 29 April 2016, 05:07:46 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 27 April 2016, 09:26:53 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 27 April 2016, 06:42:54 pm
Quote from: katrina on 27 April 2016, 10:11:50 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 27 April 2016, 01:04:08 am
Please tell me I'm not the only one who got this... (PS: my name isn't Lorraine and have no idea who this person is)

Action.
Your dirty black panties are pulled down between your legs. They are sticky as fuck and have stains of your cream in the gussett. Say sniff my knickers but dont tell my son i let you smell my fanny
Enter me.
Oh lorraine. Your sexy as fuck. Your my mates mum ive fancied since i saw your tits and used vibrator i sniffed and licked clean to taste your pussy
You say does my fanny smell fishy like the filty babysitter trish said her panties stink of when she left them on your bed after she slept over one night to seduce you after she saw you wanking with her wet undies while she was in the bath but wanted to see if i would shag her older mucky minge my masturbation made moslty musky minge moist mummys middle made milk making man made mucky movies massivley made in minges my mates mums make me maybe meet your female fanny and filthy fuck from first fanny found fishy and forever favourite fantasie for friends forty fuckable feel from her black dirty panties i sniffed after lorraine got undressed and took a piss i would love to find flirty fingers finally feel fanny from fishy lorraines minge my nose was sniffing as she was saying smell my fanny as i spunked up her cunt that id only had cum for in her smelly knickers that were wet and warm and wanted to wank with her aroma as she was so smelly and sexy after her gussett stains were so sticky and sniffed after stopping seeing spunk simaliar sloppy smears since sadly snatches seen and shagged were soley a slag some horny girl my age let me fuck her but never knew if her pussy was smelly and tasty until my mates mums cream was cummed for by smelling her moist undies you may chose the scence where i spunk up your cunt while im sniffing the smell and saying oh lorraine your fannys smelly and fishy and she says ssh my sons downtairs. Spunk up his mum. Smell my finger. Sniff it. Smell my bum. My seven inch cock shoots my load up your holes showing the sticky shots slowly seep from you twat as ive show a sniff of smelly knickers shoved in my face to shag your minge in a movie made matures musky minges make my mastyrbation made real if her fanny smells like my mates mums knickers i wanked loads for lorraines panties and still would shag her if she let my 32 yr old cock go in her 58 yr old holes. Xxx


That made me laugh and feel sick at the same time!!

Some men are so disgusting LOL
Wow!
I think this wins the thread! Might as well not post anymore x

Literally imagining the OP dropping the mic. This is incredible  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 29 April 2016, 08:41:58 pm
He has a knack for alliteration so he mustn't be as thick as he sounds hahahahaaaaaaaaaaa

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 30 April 2016, 05:42:58 pm
This is just one line from a message received on Adultwork after I answered a couple of his questions about services and then just said that if he wished to make a booking then to let me know when, how long for, where etc etc:

i will contact you when im ready, i hate it when girls get up tight about needing to know when i will come see them

Apparently it's "uptight" to say that if you'd like to meet you need to let me know when. I doubt he'll ever be in touch again, or will just keep getting in touch now and again to ask stupid questions, he has no feedback and an alias also with no feedback.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 30 April 2016, 06:07:12 pm
Quote from: Scarlet on 05 March 2016, 12:39:06 am
Quote from: Cat. on 03 March 2016, 03:32:00 pm
Got a txt this morning: Hi this is Peter. I know it's a s :FFilly question but could I be turned into Chinese food?
Me: Like Hannibal?
Him: Yes.

 :-X :-X

He contacted me too!



Him: hi silly question, I'm Peter would you sell me to a Chinese takeaway and keep the money you got for me

Ignored. A month later...

Him: hi I'm Peter I know this sounds silly but do you have any Chinese takeaways near you?

Oh I wonder where this could be leading to!

i just got a hi im peter can you massage me in cooking oil ... :FF :FF taking the weekend off full of dickheads
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 30 April 2016, 08:36:15 pm
Quote from: Miss Carolines secret on 25 April 2016, 08:33:52 pm
Quote from: peachybum on 25 April 2016, 06:23:12 pm
I have it on my profile that I dont respond to texts messages at all in bold and capitals but i still get stupid texts through like this -

idiot number 1) horny fit builder, workin in leices, dare u to bend that bum over for 5 mins and i wank over it......no sex... easy ?3o....gotta try.x (sic)

not sure if thats ?30 or ?3? either way i'll pass tah..

idiot number 2)

1st text) Hi hun dom male from cov here w/e, all very clean n nicely trimmed! If i travel nearly an hr each way will u do me a deal on a min sensual be to comp please? gonna cost me 20 in juice, thank you, love sir x. (sic)

2nd text) edit:15 min

3rd text) edits: not be but bjx

not sure at all what he was trying to say.....but it's a no from me! :FF


I have same request clearly written on my profile too.
but many brainless morons can only text and wank  they can't read

By the looks of it they cannot read,write nor speak properly. I think some of them may even have special needs. Severe dyslexia coupled with something else maybe? :-\ They struggle to communicate effectively with other human beings, I can only think they are nothing but senseless animals.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 30 April 2016, 09:07:13 pm


By the looks of it they cannot read,write nor speak properly. I think some of them may even have special needs. Severe dyslexia coupled with something else maybe? :-\ They struggle to communicate effectively with other human beings, I can only think they are nothing but senseless animals.
[/quote]

HILARIOUS!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 30 April 2016, 10:45:37 pm
Quote from: Jessica201 on 30 April 2016, 08:36:15 pm
Quote from: Miss Carolines secret on 25 April 2016, 08:33:52 pm
Quote from: peachybum on 25 April 2016, 06:23:12 pm
I have it on my profile that I dont respond to texts messages at all in bold and capitals but i still get stupid texts through like this -

idiot number 1) horny fit builder, workin in leices, dare u to bend that bum over for 5 mins and i wank over it......no sex... easy ?3o....gotta try.x (sic)

not sure if thats ?30 or ?3? either way i'll pass tah..

idiot number 2)

1st text) Hi hun dom male from cov here w/e, all very clean n nicely trimmed! If i travel nearly an hr each way will u do me a deal on a min sensual be to comp please? gonna cost me 20 in juice, thank you, love sir x. (sic)

2nd text) edit:15 min

3rd text) edits: not be but bjx

not sure at all what he was trying to say.....but it's a no from me! :FF


I have same request clearly written on my profile too.
but many brainless morons can only text and wank  they can't read

By the looks of it they cannot read,write nor speak properly. I think some of them may even have special needs. Severe dyslexia coupled with something else maybe? :-\ They struggle to communicate effectively with other human beings, I can only think they are nothing but senseless animals.
No, their dicks are so big and they are so good at sex that it's like a parasitic drain from their literacy skills, common problem in men x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: K47 on 01 May 2016, 03:26:40 pm
Texts I got yesterday from an idiot..

him: Hi are you available to meet today and im a caucasian blonde with blue eyes 5ft 10 tall looking for a 1 hour meet today x

me: Yes call me after 2pm

him: great =) I'm also looking for a regular are you always in leeds x

do you like lots of french kissing? is it ok to tease inside your pussy with my finger to make you horny for cock? do you hve a short skirt or tight trousers with a tight cleavage revealing top so we could undress eachother til were completely naked, im also super horny and would like you to be a super horny gfe if possible x

I'm also looking for a regular x

guess youre not interested

thanks anyway


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 02 May 2016, 05:49:19 pm
It's always the same conversation isn't it -

Them (in this case, in DM on twitter) - hi can I meet you please?
Me - potentially yes,if you're in London.  Please have a read of my AW where you'll find my booking procedure. Thanks!
Them  - I've read your AW, i just want to ask a question if that's ok
Me (knows it's something about his penis) - yep.
Them - does cock size matter
Me - *block*

Pretty sure all TW read the same manual!

I shouldn't moan, every booking I've had through twitter has been fab and I've found some lovely regulars that way - and they always contact me via email.  I might just stop reading my DM's lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissFlint on 03 May 2016, 12:13:30 am
This client kept was texting me for days with pointless texts saying.  You free today? I've told him several times I don't take bookings by text. He texted me again around 12pm:

Him: Hey are you around today?
I ignore his text as it's the millionth time he's asked the same thing but never called me.
Him: I'll call if you are.
Him: Just message me back and I will.
Me: Yes, please call me.
Him: ok, are you around at around 6 or 6:30pm today?
Me: Should be, but please call.
Him: Ok I'll call around 5 pm.
Me: Ok, but I can't hold the booking until you've called me.

He didn't call so I took another booking, then at 5:20pm he texts again:
Him: I'm on my way, will call when I can.
Me: Sorry I took another booking, I did say you needed to call to hold the time slot.
Him: ohh

I mean how stupid is he?  :FF I made it clear he needed to call and he expects me to hold a spot for someone who didn't actually make a booking and wants a non specific time for a slot starting at maybe 6pm or maybe 6:30pm.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 03 May 2016, 12:19:54 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 30 April 2016, 05:42:58 pm
This is just one line from a message received on Adultwork after I answered a couple of his questions about services and then just said that if he wished to make a booking then to let me know when, how long for, where etc etc:

i will contact you when im ready, i hate it when girls get up tight about needing to know when i will come see them

Apparently it's "uptight" to say that if you'd like to meet you need to let me know when. I doubt he'll ever be in touch again, or will just keep getting in touch now and again to ask stupid questions, he has no feedback and an alias also with no feedback.
I had a guy book and then cancel because I sounded too strict. Apparently asking them to let me know if they're running late is way out of order!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 03 May 2016, 01:54:04 pm
Quote from: lacey666 on 03 May 2016, 12:13:30 am
This client kept was texting me for days with pointless texts saying.  You free today? I've told him several times I don't take bookings by text. He texted me again around 12pm:

Him: Hey are you around today?
I ignore his text as it's the millionth time he's asked the same thing but never called me.
Him: I'll call if you are.
Him: Just message me back and I will.
Me: Yes, please call me.
Him: ok, are you around at around 6 or 6:30pm today?
Me: Should be, but please call.
Him: Ok I'll call around 5 pm.
Me: Ok, but I can't hold the booking until you've called me.

He didn't call so I took another booking, then at 5:20pm he texts again:
Him: I'm on my way, will call when I can.
Me: Sorry I took another booking, I did say you needed to call to hold the time slot.
Him: ohh

I mean how stupid is he?  :FF I made it clear he needed to call and he expects me to hold a spot for someone who didn't actually make a booking and wants a non specific time for a slot starting at maybe 6pm or maybe 6:30pm.
Sounds like smelly John, one of my clients that doesn't have a single brain cell x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sam T on 03 May 2016, 04:54:30 pm
..........
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 03 May 2016, 09:32:45 pm
A nicely composed message on AW at first then this went on daily.  This "man" has seen the same escort three times by using the booking form each time..  On the 3rd day, I started to get annoyed by the lengthy repetitious "fantasist" messages which kept coming.

I don't charge a lot.  This one is exactly the type I could do without.  I tried to put him off today as he's getting creepy by the minute.  He suggested I dressed up in certain way to please him.  I unscheduled the booking immediately.  He sounds like he is in a committed relationship.  Not that I care, made me wonder what a creep he must have been behind her back.  He might have got the hint.  Pity I gave my mobile number already.  I guess I could block him.  That's not the way to book an escort.  Rude and demanding. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 04 May 2016, 02:57:02 am
Guy messaged me via Adultwork late last night, he had no feedback and 3 aliases. He wanted a hour outcall to the city centre (Leeds) not far from me so I agreed. Several messages later, booking 90% arranged- then he dropped a clanger-
"I'd like to extend to an overnight. I've got ?150 on me. Is that OK?"
I informed him that seeing as I charge ?140 for an hour outcall then no, an overnight for a tenner more is definitely not OK.
What do they get out of this?! He honestly can't expect me to say yes, and I don't engage in dirty messaging so I just don't get it...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 04 May 2016, 05:10:17 am
Many would avoid anyone with zero rating on AW.  I had an odd chap who didn't have any feedbacks who turned out ok but 99% of them are probably an idiot, who keeps sending messages to us whores just to get some "reaction" to keep them amused in their empty life. 

Do not give them a free entertainment by engaging with them, I would say.  AW should do more in dealing with these annoying users.  If someone joined AW several years ago and had nil rating, never used an escort, it says all.   It should show how many messages they sent out to escorts, since which year, how many bookings they made etc (likely nil).  Enough work to deal with problem-punters. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 04 May 2016, 07:31:57 am
Quote from: newbieNW on 04 May 2016, 05:10:17 am
Many would avoid anyone with zero rating on AW.  I had an odd chap who didn't have any feedbacks who turned out ok but 99% of them are probably an idiot, who keeps sending messages to us whores just to get some "reaction" to keep them amused in their empty life. 

Do not give them a free entertainment by engaging with them, I would say.  AW should do more in dealing with these annoying users.  If someone joined AW several years ago and had nil rating, never used an escort, it says all.   It should show how many messages they sent out to escorts, since which year, how many bookings they made etc (likely nil).  Enough work to deal with problem-punters.

AW does give that information. You have to click on their name or something. But it tells you when they joined, how many emails they've sent, and how many bookings they've made.

Obviously, there are those who never book through the system but those guys tend to call, anyway. Since quite a few escorts will insist on booking via AW I think it's unlikely that a guy who has been on there for a year or more and sent out plenty of emails wouldn't have made at least a booking or two.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 04 May 2016, 09:29:10 am
all from same number:

Missed call at 12.20am
text: 12.25 u free
two missed calls at 2.04am
text: 6.27am ?

Nothing irritates me more than "?" !

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 04 May 2016, 10:37:32 am
Via text 'What can you do for me?' Er read the profile that gives you some clues dickhead!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlaqHarlot on 04 May 2016, 11:00:33 am
Message this morning
"Hi bb, I have 30 can I see you for half hour full sex I will give you the rest next week when I get paid and I'll be a regular fanks my number is 07********* call me"

Hahaha! No thanks.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 04 May 2016, 02:46:51 pm
txt just recieved

" whats your day job then""



er what the fucks it got to do with you! :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Carolines secret on 04 May 2016, 02:52:26 pm
Quote from: DesignerWhore on 04 May 2016, 11:00:33 am
Message this morning
"Hi bb, I have 30 can I see you for half hour full sex I will give you the rest next week when I get paid and I'll be a regular fanks my number is 07********* call me"

Hahaha! No thanks.

Ha ha that one made me laugh the cheek of it !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 04 May 2016, 04:21:29 pm
Email via adultwork

Hi, you look amazing and would love to spend an hour or 2 in your company, where are you based and what's your prices? Thanks

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 04 May 2016, 05:18:14 pm
I kid you not I've just had a texter from a Spanish mobile saying he couldn't ring because "He is stuck up a mountain" but could we skype and discuss a session for when he's back in the country.

Thought I'd heard some weird excuses  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Millie on 04 May 2016, 07:34:59 pm
I had a booking this afternoon. An outcall. I was in bed this morning when I got a lengthy message from the guy, over-explaining something had come up and unfortunately he needed to cancel, etc.
I sent a polite but brief message back, telling him these things happen and to let me know if he wanted to rebook in the future when things had calmed down. Mostly because he lives pretty close to meet and it would have been a really convenient booking.
He messaged back telling me the reason that he couldn't meet is that he had to suddenly move abroad with work at the last minute and that he'd be in touch if he was ever back in London.
Ha! So you had to move abroad today? On the day you found out? A couple of hours before we were due to meet. Sure dude. I mean, if you wanted to cancel you could have just been straight with me. I love it when people give really elaborate stories as to why they can no longer meet.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 04 May 2016, 07:54:39 pm
I suppose to him it sounds better than the old chestnut "Been called into work" *yawn* lol


I've had a few clients close relatives suddenly die when I haven't replied to their lengthy emails...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 04 May 2016, 08:15:28 pm

Quote from: newbieNW on 04 May 2016, 05:10:17 am

AW does give that information. You have to click on their name or something. But it tells you when they joined, how many emails they've sent, and how many bookings they've made.

I don't see this info automatically when you have a single profile. Sometimes, their own profile is open showing the date they joined but at other times, their profile is unavailable.  When someone has aliases, then you can see the above info.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 04 May 2016, 11:19:24 pm
Most pointless text yet:

"Hey"

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: OFFS on 05 May 2016, 12:19:20 am
Men are twats week me thinks:

H:How much for an outcall today?
M:I can't today but would love to see you another with more notice
H:How much for tomorrow then?
M:Exactly the same price but I am already booked tomorrow
H:How much for the next day?
 :FF :FF :FF

H:What a lovely day, are you sunbathing or do you think you could have a half hour spare for the bedroom?
M:Hi hun, sorry but am decorating, house is a mess and lots to do, another time maybe?
H:So you don't want me round then?
 ::) ::)

H:I see you like cars so wanna book you for a two hour car meet
M:Yes my profile mentions my passion for F1 but doesn't mention car meets
H:Why?
M:Hmmm well lets see, the legal issues of being caught, let alone the safety issues
H:Don't worry, I am local

Isn't that what most serial killers said to their victims?

H:Hi bbz want you over but spent all my money
H:....ten mins later....if you drive over (40mins, 40mins back) for 30 mins, will give you ?20 cash and put ?30 in your tank with my credit card so the wife won't find out

Oh yes, pretend to pay for my fuel and pay for a choc bar, whilst mean while I get arrested for non payment of fuel and paid ?20 for a job that should have cost ?100......hang on mate, let me get my stockings on and be right over ???


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 05 May 2016, 11:41:55 am
Just this minute got a text from this wanker..Honest to fuck I give up I really do!!

First text from him ever and this is what he sends me

Hi I am meeting 2 girls tomorrow near where you live, they don't have their own place.Can we use a room at your place from 5 - 6 pm and will pay you for the hour if that's ok?

Guess what my two letter answer was!!!

NO
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 05 May 2016, 04:57:16 pm
Guy emailing about an arrangement

i ask him what the catch is and he confirms none, i knew what was coming when i said i maybe interested


"Ok I will keep that in mind if we do go ahead with this arrangement.

The only thing that might be an issue is when I have these arrangements, I do look for unprotected sex. Would this be too big a problem for you?

blocked and told to fuck off

aw name is  averagejuan

dont waste your time ladies i only did as its dead at the mo and i needed some humour! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Londonpartygirl on 05 May 2016, 05:36:27 pm
He contacted me too - wanted a sugar baby style arrangement...quite young 28 to want to offer this.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 05 May 2016, 05:44:53 pm
ah damn thought i was special lol  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 06 May 2016, 12:43:08 am
Doing hotel incalls today.

Earlier I got a text asking where I am.  I said 'I'm on xx street, 5 minutes from xx station'.  I never heard back and never thought anything of it.

Fast forward to 10.30 tonight.  I'm sitting eating my room service dinner and the phone goes.

Same guy

H 'What number of xx street are you?'
M 'Well you have to make an appointment, you can't just drop in.  You make an appointment and call me when you are here and I'd give out my address then'.
H: (You can actually hear his voice drop) 'Aw I'm on xx Street just now, I thought you might be free'.
M: 'No.  I can see you in 20 minutes or something but I can't see you right now.  You need an appointment'.

It kind of shocked me.  They really do think we're just sitting in our sussies waiting on a call don't they?   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 06 May 2016, 03:49:47 pm
Him-Hi are you free anytime soon?
Me-Yes I am availble from after 4pm.
Him-Great! I can come then, what's your address details?
-sends postcode.
Him-And street name and door number? 
me (thinking you can use the postcode to find the street name) its xx, you will need to call when here for the door number.
Him- sorry i don't meet without full address details, as i've had too many time wasters switch there phones off when i arrive.

Yeah, I'll just give it you then wont I? Not.                                                                               
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 06 May 2016, 04:40:21 pm
I actually do sit in sussies and I'm happy to take last-minute bookings if I am available.

But I don't give the exact flat number until they call from outside the building. What the fuck is he going to do if you're a timewaster? Pound on the door?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 06 May 2016, 05:31:42 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 06 May 2016, 04:40:21 pm
I actually do sit in sussies and I'm happy to take last-minute bookings if I am available.

But I don't give the exact flat number until they call from outside the building. What the fuck is he going to do if you're a timewaster? Pound on the door?

Exactly! I replied telling him I was sorry to hear that but I don't give my door number out until I can see the client as my safety comes first and good luck finding someone, I didn't hear back.  ::)

Actually used to do it that way when I first started SW before realizing how idiotic and unsafe that was and would never do it again!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Naughtyforty on 06 May 2016, 05:40:16 pm
Him- hi I'm looking for a sensual massage with kissing and a owo happy ending and you to wear red stockings. Can you reply with a price please
Me, ignore!!     my prices are very clear in my ad
The thing is before finding this site a few months ago I prob would of replied, gotten into reply ping pong for him then to have been a tw!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 07 May 2016, 07:13:05 am
AW message

hi byotiful angle, have yu time for me
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Carolines secret on 07 May 2016, 10:34:07 am
Hotel caller
Can I just come and wank  outside your door you let me in then I pay you
No no no
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 07 May 2016, 12:26:14 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 07 May 2016, 07:13:05 am
AW message

hi byotiful angle, have yu time for me

So the Teletubbies are booking escorts now?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 07 May 2016, 12:43:24 pm
Lissina this shit!

 
Nice to meet you through your AW profile and your website. Sometimes one finds a stellar
Russian Escort in HK, or a Thai Escort in Germany, and in your case an awesome American
in the UK. You have very beautiful eyes and a lipstick rich kissable mouth. Wish you would
surpass Anneke Van Buren, AW's own Chloe (Champagne Lady), and  Zoe Zane in being
available well into your sixties. You definitely have the genetic make up to easily accomplish
that. The question is a matter of desire and will. I read your blog and loved the on tour entry.
Like the aforementioned Ladies, you are open minded to endowed and very well endowed clients,
and that is a blessing. None of these Ladies are tight anymore, but their stretched vaginas are
well appreciated by many as they continue to keep these Ladies busy over the years. Whether
one fills you up to the max or slides easily and effortless, being able to date you long term is
an awesome experience. Wish to see you a little later this year.
 
Lustfully

Twatface
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Littlemisslondon on 07 May 2016, 12:57:22 pm
Your stretched vagina....???
Holy crap Fab lol we best book ourselves advanced Kegel classes.... or not! My god this guy is so bizarre! xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 07 May 2016, 01:11:37 pm
Got this today.

Do you have any martial arts expertise?

Do you own a Gi?

Can you / will do RNC to KO?

Respectfully

TWP
xxx
 
Have no idea what this means?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 07 May 2016, 01:51:00 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 07 May 2016, 12:43:24 pm
Lissina this shit!

None of these Ladies are tight anymore, but their stretched vaginas are
well appreciated by many as they continue to keep these Ladies busy over the years.
 

Jesus wept. Is there no end to this parade of sheer moronity??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 07 May 2016, 01:53:02 pm
Quote from: Miss Carolines secret on 07 May 2016, 10:34:07 am
Hotel caller
Can I just come and wank  outside your door you let me in then I pay you
No no no

This one made me laugh, I'd tell him to go and wank outside his own fucking door, twat!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 07 May 2016, 07:03:38 pm
I have a bit of a strange fantasy that I was wondering if you  could cater for?

I'd like you to answer the door in an adult nappy and nothing else and go upstairs and slowly undress me and put one on me where we would then spend some time grinding against each others groins. We would then wet and soil them before lustfully and passionately rubbing up against each others nappies. We would then lie down on the bed and take turns changing each other wet and messy adult nappies before engaging in some passionate and fiery lovemaking.

 ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 07 May 2016, 07:08:44 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 07 May 2016, 07:03:38 pm
I have a bit of a strange fantasy that I was wondering if you  could cater for?

I'd like you to answer the door in an adult nappy and nothing else and go upstairs and slowly undress me and put one on me where we would then spend some time grinding against each others groins. We would then wet and soil them before lustfully and passionately rubbing up against each others nappies. We would then lie down on the bed and take turns changing each other wet and messy adult nappies before engaging in some passionate and fiery lovemaking.

 ???
Nice
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Littlemisslondon on 07 May 2016, 07:44:07 pm
Just.... No... Did you even reply Hannah?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 07 May 2016, 07:46:05 pm
hahaha! Jesus imagine the SMELL! You'd have to wipe his shite up with baby wipes.

Does it get any worse than that. Really?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 08 May 2016, 11:29:16 am
Got a message this morning, "can you tell me which services are included in the price?" whilst it is clear from my profile as to which. But this didn't bother me much.  There are people who "just want to be sure" especially if they are new seeing Wgs.  Then he went on in his message, that "he is looking for someone in "a specific location" because "my wife is disabled and does not want sex".    This really turned me right off.  I prefer not to hear "the personal reasons why he does this"!  He only got a single positive feedback so that explained a lot. We don't need to know.  It crossed my mind if I'm too old in this game!  Am I too sensitive?  This personal statement made me feel very uncomfortable.   Clearly, it was not for me. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 08 May 2016, 11:44:05 am
I think we all have innocuous things said to us that turn us off even if logically it doesn't mean they are 'bad' clients.

I'm not a fan on hearing about their partners but I think they like to tell us because they are justifying it to themselves or they want us to think they are not 'that kind of man' but have no choice because the wife won't shag them ... I think a lot of men think that men who see escorts are sad, lonely, ugly, perverted etc but of course they don't fit into those categories so they need to tell us.

I think it's best (if you can) to gloss over mentions of partners unless they really are going on and on about it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 08 May 2016, 12:03:08 pm
Totally mansplained to this week via AW messages.

Where near X station am I based?
Told him it was a 2 minute walk away
He asked which street?
Told him I don't give out address details until I have spoken to and arranged a booking with someone

Great long email explaining  how he liked to see where to go so he didn't show up late for a booking and then  how he wouldn't want anyone to know he sees escorts so he wouldn't tell anyone and anyway it's safe on AW cos if anything happened 'the authorities' would have his IP address and be able to catch him.  Telling me I should be more helpful by telling people where I live when they ask so they can plan and more stuff about because he was on AW it proved he was safe and not a nutter. Oh and stuff about how I could tell on the phone if someone was OK anyway?

Told him I certainly didn't see men who tried to avoid my security procedures and try and tell me how to do my job!
Honestly, well he gave himself away as a weirdo/boundary pusher/creep without me even having to speak to him at all!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aleshaxx on 08 May 2016, 01:16:09 pm
6:00am....
Tool: out call now
Tool: send me pic if I like I see you
Tool: you will blow job and fuck ?
Tool: 400 here send pic

Sure thing boss photo on its way hahaha needless to say I didn't reply!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 08 May 2016, 05:51:42 pm
Quote from: Wailing Banshee on 08 May 2016, 12:03:08 pm
Totally mansplained to this week via AW messages.



Thank you so much, Wailing Banshee, for your great support!!  Yup, you are so right. I dislike punters going on about their personal life or mine.  It's probably something to do with a "boundary" thing.  I'm not a therapist and "please not to fuck up my head" thing.  The punter apologised for his "long-winded message".  He sounded "a bit boring" over the phone.  Will see.

I hear you.  I hate it when idiots / people pretending to be genuine punters who would want to know your postcode / address etc without ever thinking of going through the booking.  I even get asked "which exit on "such and such motorway" for "future reference".    In fact, I told an idiot a completely wrong exit!   ;D ;D  Their sense of entitlement is completely unjustified.  These people aren't worth dealing with.  Alarm bell ringing for sure.  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 08 May 2016, 05:55:12 pm
Just make up a neighbouring road pretend it is yours or something to give them an idea.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 09 May 2016, 09:53:07 pm
Someone just sent me pictures of his cock on WhatsApp and he said "hope u like my cock babe want to meet with u"
I'm tempted to post it on Twitter :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Littlemisslondon on 09 May 2016, 11:06:15 pm
Just got this text:

Idiot: You're beautiful
Me: (yawn) Thanks
Idiot: Do you do texting at all to get to know each other as I possibly want to book you for Wednesday evening (sent by nobody who is a genuine client at gone 11 at night)
Me: No and not interested in getting to 'know' someone I'm going to 'possibly' spend 30 mins with.....

Are they so stupid they think we fall for this time wasting waffle ??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 10 May 2016, 12:41:13 am
email on aw just recieved:

llo goddess
how are you today, hope your having a good easter goddess
looking stunning I must say, :)

I'm new to this, literally just signed up, so not really sure of what to say and do

I'm a submissive male, and looking too live a couple of fantasys, of being used by a woman for her pleasure, without my needs being important

I've recently brought a chastity cage, which i'm getting used to wearing, and would love to be made to wear it during a meet, knowing my cock will never get to feel pussy

I am also very into cuckold porn,
I don't know how i'd feel about actually being in the same room as another guy, but i'm thinking maybe you could fit me in after another client, and not wash between him and me maybe?

are you into sph? and watersports?



I LOST INTEREST AFTER I SAW HAPPY EASTER!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 10 May 2016, 12:44:46 am
Haha
The best friends until the increase of the price :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 10 May 2016, 12:47:05 am
Happy Easter ? :D
It was some time ago ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Millie on 10 May 2016, 05:01:18 pm
Him: Hi, I have a strange fetish and you seem like an open minded girl...

Me: Go on...

Him: I want you to pop balloons with your body whilst I watch and wank. You can sit on them, jump on them, roll on them, pop them with your boobs, your stomach, your ass, your pussy, your teeth

Me: (Thinking of the shrimp scene from Forrest Gump whilst trying to suppress giggles)

Him: You can stand on them, pop them with your hands, pop them between your thighs...

Me: I'm really sorry but I have a pretty bad allergy to latex, I don't think I'm the girl for you.

Him: Oh I'm sure it'll be fine. It won't be a long booking. And I don't want sex. I'll pay for the whole hour. I'll only be there for 10-20 minutes.

Me: Yeah it's still a no I'm afraid. I'll be covered in hives and rashes within minutes. Not only will it be highly painful and unpleasant for me, it won't be pretty to look at.

Him: But I really want it to be you, you're adorable.

Me: Sorry man, unless you buy some latex free balloons it's a no-go.

Him: No way, are you kidding, those things are really expensive.

Me: Bye dude.

Haha! He was willing to pay for an hour just to see me for 10-20 minutes but he couldn't drum up the cash to buy latex free balloons. Yeah sure. He tried to book me again for the same thing on AW. I read his feedback. He wasn't even a timewaster. Other girls had met him for the same reason. It really grinds my gears when they are so unconcerned with our wellbeing. I literally would have been covered in hives and would've probably swollen up to twice my usual size. I can't even blow up balloons without my lips looking like they are ridden with impetigo.

Its a shame, probably would've been a fun and very easy booking.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 10 May 2016, 06:55:53 pm
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 10 May 2016, 12:41:13 am
email on aw just recieved:

llo goddess
how are you today, hope your having a good easter goddess
looking stunning I must say, :)

I'm new to this, literally just signed up, so not really sure of what to say and do

I'm a submissive male, and looking too live a couple of fantasys, of being used by a woman for her pleasure, without my needs being important

I've recently brought a chastity cage, which i'm getting used to wearing, and would love to be made to wear it during a meet, knowing my cock will never get to feel pussy

I am also very into cuckold porn,
I don't know how i'd feel about actually being in the same room as another guy, but i'm thinking maybe you could fit me in after another client, and not wash between him and me maybe?

are you into sph? and watersports?



I LOST INTEREST AFTER I SAW HAPPY EASTER!
I do these bookings but being called Godess annoys me too x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 10 May 2016, 09:53:16 pm
I'm having this 'idiot' messaging me all day on AW since a couple of days ago.  I started deleting without looking and he hasn't given up!  He in a genuine punter but seemingly he wants my constant attention.  An idiot. another ten messages, I will hit a block button.  I don't need a stalker !   How so rude!! >:( :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: roxy666 on 11 May 2016, 04:38:03 pm
Just had this classic golden nugget, thought I'd share before I do get back to my nap!  ;D

Douche : Are you around now babe??? Would like to see you xxxx

Me : (an hour later) Hiya, would you like a booking?

Douche : Once I'm out the office! Will you take ?90 for an hour gorgeous xxx

Me : No.

Douche : I'm sorry hun didn't mean to offend I am young I'm work out just a thought xxx

Me : rofpmsl!

Douche : Ah don't be like that! Your gorgeous babe I just have a limit of 90 xxxx

Me : Awwww. I do a half hour booking for ?70 sweetie (read that with a patronisingc tone, lol)

Douche : That's not long enough I take ages to come lol xxxx

Me : Find another escort then who fits your financial restrictions. Take care.

Douche : What about ?100 for the hour sweetie xxxx don't want anything weird just regular sex xxxx

Me : Bored now, I'm going back to my nap. Night.

Douche : That's fair enough babe thanks for getting back to me sexy ;) xxxx


Fair play to him not turning nasty on me though, good effort! Lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 11 May 2016, 05:24:33 pm
First I get random men shouting fish and chips down the phone at me, now I get AW emails talking about sausages and mash. I don't get it?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 12 May 2016, 12:17:12 am
Someone ust messaged me on WhatsApp that he can take me to a remote place to have sex :D
How could I resist?  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 13 May 2016, 10:46:19 pm
I want naughty time.

That's it, that's the entire text from someone who's never been in touch before.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 14 May 2016, 12:03:08 am
Look at the length of this email!

Hi

Firstly I must ask out of politeness and as I would of anyone, how are you? Good I hope.

Please excuse this very long email which is deliberate and don't let it put you off please - I really hope you find it very very different (for the better!) and refreshingly genuine and exciting. I can assure you this is unique to yourself and ok, reading it back I probably got a bit carried away and added this, but I hope it's ok.

You may see that I have no feedback but that's simply because I'm effectively new (set up ages ago but never used properly until now, as in I got fed up of people who were time wasters and weren't genuine) and for the very genuine (and quite normal) reasons I will mention below. I'm not narrow minded to not think there is someone very genuine out there, though. I hope that you will see past the lack of feedback as some on here seem obsessed by it! Wouldn't you rather however, have someone who hasn't been 'around' and is looking for and approaching you for something specific?

THOUGHT VERY LONG AND HARD ABOUT DOING THIS GENERALLY! JUST SEEN YOUR PROFILE....AND JUST HOPING FOR A VERY GENUINE (PERHAPS REGULAR) GIRL ON HERE...IN ONE WAY THIS IS INITIALLY ANYWAY FOR A SPECIAL OCCASION (ALBEIT VERY BELATEDLY) AND NOT ANY OLD MEETING (SEE BELOW), SO PLEASE FORGIVE THE LONG AND DESCRIPTION MAIL.

Although I am from York, I am a contractor with my work and working from Warrington / Sheffield / Stockport / home / Newcastle as required. I'd be looking to meet you either at yours or a nice hotel (nothing horrible but I'm not a snob, it's just the occasion would demand it) - as well as the obvious from here, as you'd expect but for genuine reasons in my case as I will be honest about (nothing unusual don't worry), I would love to meet a girl to spend some time with but don't worry, I understand the arrangement. I hope you will find this so genuine and interesting, that you'd like to try and arrange something that works for both of us while building up a great level of mutual trust and excitement before (but in a decent way). Hope so anyway!

Firstly though and probably unusually on here, I'm genuinely not just here for my own pleasure in that I believe I enjoy myself better when someone with me is visibly and genuinely doing so also.

So let me say straight away that this is a very decent and genuine mail and not rude or basic like some others you might get perhaps, and the last thing I would ever do is waste anyone's time. I've had it done to me and it's not nice or right and just not me anyway. So I hope this blows you away and appeals for the right reasons. If we get on happy to make this a longer term thing.

This is essentially a very late 'big birthday' present as I was 50 in mid 2014 but I am very young in terms of outlook. I want something to give me the sort of fun I have genuinely not had for (seriously) over three years. That is entirely down to my own choice and a combination of work related, family (my son) and a legacy of a very bad relationship with someone who really hurt and took advantage of me, big style.

My aspiration is most definitely a longer meeting to start with which I have given much thought. It might sound strange at this point if I say I'd like to be a mix of very good and open mutual social interaction, including some element of going out, an absolute giggle for us both and a real sexual adventure covering the extremes of some of the exploration we might have done when you younger and some of the play activities associated with that, to a very sensual encounter that is both very tactile, unrushed and with the others pleasure paramount, but is also extremely broad minded, open and adventurous on both our parts. All done through a suggested set of games lets say while still remaining very spontaneous.

As much an exploration of each others minds lets say as much as anything else, definitely open to allow the pushing of boundaries - including hopefully allowing you to do that too by going about this in the right way.

That's what will hopefully make this a bit unique as I would like to do everything I can to make you feel as safe, wanted (and wild!) as possible.

I genuinely want you to feel looked after, completely relaxed, have no doubts, feel able to be at your most open and have a fun, rewarding and satisfying time yourself too. This is not all about me. And perhaps meeting again or regularly if we get on very well and both enjoy ourselves as I am sure we would. I've obviously seen your profile on AW which seems really genuine unlike lots. And I have genuinely picked you out from loads, so hope this works! I hope you don't mind my contacting you in this way anyway, happy to talk of course too.

I suppose I will know if someone is genuine and seriously interested as they will come back with a proper reply, two or three paragraphs at least, and won't just say call such and such a number. That would switch me off!

This would be a proper date with good conversation and a real laugh come hopefully, an absolute giggle for us both, full respect and two way pleasure/sex.....traditional and very kinky, that's actually pleasurable for us both as I said.

Unlike some maybe, even in an escort scenario I understand that you are also a person and should of course be treated as such, but more so I am sure an interesting, engaging, funny lady who I would enjoy spending time with and getting to know socially and as a person too in a proper two way date. But I do understand it is an escort arrangement don't worry!

I am a professional man, a software Test Manager (not a geek!). Looks are not everything in anyone - even in this way - and I am just normal but I guess ok!

Hopefully this mail, any others and a chat will convey to you how genuine I am and very sincerely wanting to give you a very good and genuine time and not just in bed. I am prepared to do whatever reasonable to prove how genuine I am such as speaking, face pic, mail etc.

I also genuinely want to meet a girl who isn't just doing this for the money (I will be able to tell!), someone who would enjoy a lovely evening with good conversation and laughs too, and uninhibited but respectful and shared pleasure. i.e. I would want you to have a great time too, that's important to me. That's socially too, I love female company and perspective in that way. And if that helps us both enjoy the sexual side far more even in an escort scenario, then all well and good and much for the better. I hope you agree? If it then helps this to be one of your most memorable and better encounters and you respond and relax for anything in that way, then that would be wonderful and I shall certainly try.

I am a very considerate, genuine and articulate, very gentle, tactile, completely clean and health conscious, sensual and honest professional man - generally gentle in manner and physically, a giver as much as a receiver, and always treat others how I would expect to be. All I look for is the same in return. I am most certainly not a timewaster. Personal hygiene, as I said, is paramount to me and I take care of myself and those around me. I love banter and innuendo as a sense of humour, especially if combined with intelligence, and if I may say so am like that myself too, therefore this will be the sort of girl that I get along with most. It's natural between the sexes anyway I think.

I have a very specific set of particular scenarios in mind, as well as a great deal of mutual spontaneity of course, and I will probably explain the background to the scenarios later.

I would never abuse the privilege of getting to know someone in a little more detail than one might consider usual in this scenario, because it would be entirely for the reason of making our meeting(s) less mechanical, cold and instant. I would certainly not be giving myself any form of gratification while doing so if I can call it that. I would rather you did that personally lol!

When we did meet which would be very soon I promise, I'd love us to have a coffee and perhaps play a basic teasing voyeur type game which I will explain in due course if you are interested.

This would hopefully build up a unique level of anticipation and excitement. It would be great to then go out for lunch/dinner and have a wonderful relexed and genuine time, before returning for some more build up games like strip poker and a truth game! Again, I want to build up what is to follow in both of our minds.

With regards to more intense fun, I'd love to kiss, stroke, lick/suck and tease each other fully clothed for a very long time during a session of build up play still both fully clothed and then very slowly remove each others clothes.

Nothing different in that you're probably thinking. During it I would really love to cross dress too, at least in the sense of stockings, silk knickers and a very tight skirt or dress. Is that not just ok, would it be a turn on for you too? That's important if I do that. I'm not a cross dresser, I have done this with a couple of women some years ago, but it remains a fantasy and to build on it. This time I would really like to maximise the experience of me being dressed like that and for a lady to give me a slow and sensual full body massage with the clothes on without even going into them....perhaps while I am tied up. Lots of kissing and teasing of course.

I would like to be spanked...not soft, but not too hard (more a mind games thing perhaps) and certainly not to mark, through the dress or skirt with your hand and possibly a cane and a paddle or similar, and hopefully to you too with limits thoroughly respected. And some more spanking and caning both ways when we are both naked, but not as hard as through the clothes. Would love to do that to you too on the same basis, or whatever you are comfortable with and genuinely turned on by. For all this though, please see my wrestling scenario I refer to briefly at the end....

Then to let me do all this to you in return whether tied or not, then you tie me up again and tease me inside the clothes, slowly removing them and letting me do yours, before more intimate pleasures.

I do love Oral sex both ways....and or ages and slowly...particularly 69 with a lady on top. Of course, I love sex in any position but particularly a girl sitting or laying on me, nice and slow rhythm not fast until the very end....perhaps while still tied up.

After all that and the obvious conclusion, hopefully for you too, I would like you to use toys on me including a strap on if you have one, again for ages. I do like being fucked with a strap on by a woman at length and other toys too, done this a few times and not shy about it at all!! Not essential at all but fun for us both.

I have never had the pleasure of gently pleasing a woman anally but I would love to do so with either her playing teacher, gently showing me how to do it to please her the most, or us experimenting gently together if neither of us have done it but are happy to try because of the mutual respect? Again, not essential, don't let that one put you off.

**************************************************************

Alternatively, indeed if I am honest my main desire and what I'd really like to do, I would like to combine all of the above with a very teasing play wrestling / pillow fight contest - not rough - but very, very kinky with lots of forfeits, some very dirty, some silly and funny. That could be everything from tickling to mutual watersports, mutual gentle slapping, mutual spitting, candle wax, food fun, cold showers, different sorts of spanking etc (all on a mutual both way basis) - I'm not into wild BDSM, just a mutual giggle but with an edge. I can discuss that further if you wish?
**************************************************************

However, please don't be put off by all the 'plans', they are just ideas to provide a framework, it's most important to be spontaneous.

That said, I would love you to wear a short ish (not too short) very very tight skirt or dress, possibly backless, tight top if with skirt and silk underwear (not cotton pleeez!) if possible, ideally a camisole top rather than a bra? More elegant and sexy than tarty though. Something really sexy and classy, not tarty, that will really hug your figure lol. Part of the fantasy is it's hard for either of us to move! It would not get ripped, that's not the idea, as I said it's a huge tease and laugh.

I hope that was all written okay and hasn't offended. Isn't it better to be upfront but in a decent, polite way?

I hope you have found this a decent and genuine mail, of sincere interest, but also, different to the usual whatever that is, though I can imagine. It is important for me and I am sure you, to have trust and respect in doing this. I am prepared to give whatever details and reassurance to my potential partner in this, and I would start by proving how genuine I am and how clean, hygienic etc., I am, and above all, how keen I am for you to have a great time yourself both socially and sexually.

Sorry to have gone on and I hope it was appropriate and not too much. But isn't it better to be honest and discuss these things up front.

Please could you let me know what you think.

Take care

Steve xxx

i replied:
Hi.

What extraordinary peice of literature you've just written me, a modern day Shakespeare you are!

It was just so amazing i shall call this fine peice of text 'the disingenuious ramblings of a timewasting twat!'

A* to you!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 14 May 2016, 12:10:00 am
Quote from: MrsTomHardy on 14 May 2016, 12:03:08 am
Look at the length of this email!

I had exactly the same one about a month ago  ;D



[giant unnecessary quote redacted]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 14 May 2016, 12:20:35 am
Does he actually think us girls are gonna take an hour out of our day to read that, christ if i wanted to read a book id pick up harry potter. far more interesting than that 'oh so genuine' drivel.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 14 May 2016, 12:25:35 am
Holy wowzers that's a long email. I don't think I'd even bother to read it at all it's bad enough when they write a couple of paragraphs instead of getting to the point. Often if I open an email that's longer than a few lines I'll just not bother because it's almost always garbage.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 14 May 2016, 10:43:48 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 07 May 2016, 01:11:37 pm
Got this today.

Do you have any martial arts expertise?

Do you own a Gi?

Can you / will do RNC to KO?

Respectfully

TWP
xxx
 
Have no idea what this means?

RNC = rear naked choke KO= knock out. He wants to be choked unconscious whilst you wear a karate outfit basically.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 14 May 2016, 12:38:24 pm
After I read that, I thought of a gap in the sex work market...Extreme Escorts.com?

That's where that guy needs to go maybe :)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 14 May 2016, 02:26:57 pm
there are websites you can hire women who dress as wrestlers and they throw you around and put you in holds. Not sure if any are in the UK though.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 14 May 2016, 03:00:11 pm
Quote from: Chatterly on 14 May 2016, 10:43:48 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 07 May 2016, 01:11:37 pm
Got this today.

Do you have any martial arts expertise?

Do you own a Gi?

Can you / will do RNC to KO?

Respectfully

TWP
xxx
 
Have no idea what this means?

RNC = rear naked choke KO= knock out. He wants to be choked unconscious whilst you wear a karate outfit basically.

If he's anywhere near Scotland send him to me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 14 May 2016, 03:02:10 pm
I'm pretty sure this is just a piss take.  Subject - Looking for wet pussy, where are you?

Hi
Like in da title I m looking for some fun NSA. I m back on da market after long relationship and I m really horny. I m 42 and all clean.quite shy as well as I ve never done anything like that before so if you wanna hook up drop a wee line about yourself and I get back to you.looking for someone in da same age quite.
Karolkisskress....... Gmail... Dotcom.

As tempting is da email is I think I'll pass on da fun times with da karolkisskress at da gmail da dotcom.....

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 14 May 2016, 03:03:31 pm
Quote from: MrsTomHardy on 14 May 2016, 12:03:08 am
Look at the length of this email!

So what did he want after all that?  Oral and toys and maybe anal? Fuuuccck.  Why not write a book, why would you just say it in a sentence at the end of the day?

Plus you just know when they go on and on about how unique and genuine they are in comparison to all the nasty emails from the other guys, they've sent it to at least 10 other women today don't you.


[giant unnecessary quote redacted]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 14 May 2016, 03:54:37 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 14 May 2016, 03:02:10 pm
I'm pretty sure this is just a piss take.  Subject - Looking for wet pussy, where are you?

Hi
Like in da title I m looking for some fun NSA. I m back on da market after long relationship and I m really horny. I m 42 and all clean.quite shy as well as I ve never done anything like that before so if you wanna hook up drop a wee line about yourself and I get back to you.looking for someone in da same age quite.
Karolkisskress....... Gmail... Dotcom.

As tempting is da email is I think I'll pass on da fun times with da karolkisskress at da gmail da dotcom.....

NSA = doesn't want to pay/looking for free sex
all clean = doesn't want to wear a condom

How did you resist. :-|
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 14 May 2016, 03:58:23 pm
Can a make a plea that people don't quote HUGE messages in full when replying, please!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 14 May 2016, 05:16:51 pm
Quote from: Kay on 14 May 2016, 03:58:23 pm
Can a make a plea that people don't quote HUGE messages in full when replying, please!!

Well you could, but since you're not a mod or an admin and nobody takes a blind bit of notice even when we ask it's unlikely to do any good.

Reporting the posts with the report button on the other hand would possibly have meant that I (or whichever of the four people who would have received an alert about it got here first) would possibly have only had the one of them to edit to a sensible size rather than two :).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 14 May 2016, 05:26:24 pm
Quote from: amy on 14 May 2016, 05:16:51 pm
Quote from: Kay on 14 May 2016, 03:58:23 pm
Can a make a plea that people don't quote HUGE messages in full when replying, please!!

Well you could, but since you're not a mod or an admin and nobody takes a blind bit of notice even when we ask it's unlikely to do any good.

Reporting the posts with the report button on the other hand would possibly have meant that I (or whichever of the four people who would have received an alert about it got here first) would possibly have only had the one of them to edit to a sensible size rather than two :).

I realised after I had already posted. Apologies
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 14 May 2016, 06:25:52 pm
Quote from: MrsTomHardy on 14 May 2016, 12:03:08 am
Look at the length of this email!

I got the same one about a month or so ago ! Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 14 May 2016, 08:47:14 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 14 May 2016, 03:54:37 pm

NSA = doesn't want to pay/looking for free sex
all clean = doesn't want to wear a condom

How did you resist. :-|

Exactly! - I'm not sure if he thought it was 'da' plenty of 'da' fish or what he thought 'dat' was.  Back on da market indeed, I do wonder why.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 14 May 2016, 08:50:09 pm
Quote from: amy on 14 May 2016, 05:16:51 pm
Quote from: Kay on 14 May 2016, 03:58:23 pm
Can a make a plea that people don't quote HUGE messages in full when replying, please!!

Well you could, but since you're not a mod or an admin and nobody takes a blind bit of notice even when we ask it's unlikely to do any good.

Reporting the posts with the report button on the other hand would possibly have meant that I (or whichever of the four people who would have received an alert about it got here first) would possibly have only had the one of them to edit to a sensible size rather than two :).

Sorry Amy
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 14 May 2016, 09:48:47 pm
I had one the other week offering me an outcall to his place but he was looking after his four year old daughter so would it be okay if he locked her in the living room for an hour so we'd get peace.

Err. No.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Naughtyforty on 15 May 2016, 01:18:30 am
That sounds similar to an ad on a classified site for a reward girl ( not sure if I can name it) that has been floating about in Scotland for a while on and off. I did do a bit of martial arts years ago but the abbreviations always  put me off.
It was on!y about as year ago that I found out lol didn't mean lots of love
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Naughtyforty on 15 May 2016, 01:24:49 am
Sorry I should clarify that I'm taking bout the karate / choke ad x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 15 May 2016, 03:57:25 am
Quote from: Lolapops on 14 May 2016, 09:48:47 pm
I had one the other week offering me an outcall to his place but he was looking after his four year old daughter so would it be okay if he locked her in the living room for an hour so we'd get peace.

Err. No.

Woah! It's one thing guys asking for a booking while their child is asleep/in bed, but the ones who offer to lock their child/ren in a room while you're there are despicable  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 15 May 2016, 09:40:09 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 15 May 2016, 03:57:25 am
Quote from: Lolapops on 14 May 2016, 09:48:47 pm
I had one the other week offering me an outcall to his place but he was looking after his four year old daughter so would it be okay if he locked her in the living room for an hour so we'd get peace.

Err. No.

Woah! It's one thing guys asking for a booking while their child is asleep/in bed, but the ones who offer to lock their child/ren in a room while you're there are despicable  >:(

I was absolutely staggered! Admittedly, he did realise from my reaction that he shouldn't have even suggested it. He said she'd be fine as he'd leave her with the iPad for the hour and fix it so she couldn't open the door  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 15 May 2016, 10:07:26 am
I had the big long massive email too.

I replied with "What a pile of effete crap".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 15 May 2016, 03:38:11 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 15 May 2016, 10:07:26 am
I had the big long massive email too.

I replied with "What a pile of effete crap".

Love it. Never heard the word 'effete' though haha.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Littlemisslondon on 16 May 2016, 08:46:11 pm
Had a couple of calls from this guy.... Youngish, I always get him off the phone cos clearly he is wanking down it.
Me: So youve called my appointment line (again) when would you like to visit?
Idiot: Can I (moan) (gasp) as you some questions?
Me:If its pertinent to the booking yes...
Twat: I (ooooh) want to know what panties you will wear for me..
Me: What is it you'd like?
More moaning and me convinced he is a wank fodder twat...
Me:right I'm hanging up now
Him: Im sorry can I book you for 3pm tomo
Me Yes of course, would that be for an hour?
F.Idiot: Can I ask you to do something for me first? Can I send you a photo of my cock and you give me your opinion?
Me: No Ill see it tomorrow at the booking
Him: I thought you'd enjoy seeing it, I'm not like your usual clients..
Me: Laughing big time, How on earth would you know what my clients are like? No matter you won't be one of them
Complete and utter twonk: You're cancelling me?? You should be grateful Im young and fit, make a change from the dirty old men you see !!!
Me: Howling with laughter.... What on earth makes you think my clients are like that?? I have lovely and respectful clients who I happily see... I don't however take booking from complete tossers which is why you're cancelled !!!!
Still laughing, how up himself and brainless was this guy??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 16 May 2016, 09:36:02 pm
Booked in a client for a 30 min.He rang from my landmark and I was directing him in all fine until he was in the courtyard leading up to the flat entrance,with other residents coming and going then he chose to ask loudly over the phone how big my tits were...told how inappropriate and indiscreet he was and told to about turn and go away.Idiot. :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sammy s on 16 May 2016, 09:40:17 pm
Just had a client email me who I've never met before and he has no feedback. It says:
"Hi, fancy an evening over a bottle of wine now?"
I emailed back asking how long he wants to book for and that I'd need a bit of time to get ready.
He replies with "oh I just meant meeting up for drinks. Not wanting to book you for sex or anything"

My god!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 17 May 2016, 12:08:57 am
Forgot to turn my work phone off for the night got a call like 10 minutes ago a guy asking if I can do a car meet right now. I don't do car meets and it's late so I'm not working. He carried on begging so just switched the phone off. Looking forward to a barrage to texts tomorrow off him.

Did he just think I'd go out in my pajamas to some car on the street for sex? He sounded like he was slurring a bit too so would probably drive drunk over here it's an accident waiting to happen.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 17 May 2016, 09:01:45 am
1) do you do bareback sex? (blocked)
2) I am 21 years old, is there any age restriction? (get a life)
3)  I'm so and so, can I book to see you? blah blah blah.. he hadn't seen escorts since a few years ago - probably on the dole.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 17 May 2016, 02:30:07 pm
I've been on holiday for a week and this is explained clearly on my profile, I even have a holiday dates tab as well that I update along with my description line.

Come back to loads of messages as per!

these made me giggle though

Twat 1
Hi fancy seeing 5 guys tonight? we're pretty full on (I do GFE and nowhere does it suggest I see more than one man at a time)

Twat 2
I look for a good asian muslim girl. Am Kurdish (I'm basically Casper the ghost if I've not been on holiday)

Twat 3
mmmmmmm anal?

really? hahahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 18 May 2016, 04:50:57 am
Guy asked for an outcall to somewhere in London. I'm in Leeds and told him so. His reply?:
"Good, ID probably get AIDS from you anyway" I ignored him, and he then proceeded to text me a load of quotes from the Bible about immoral women, sin, etc etc. After the 5th quote I replied to say "I'm sure there's a passage in that book you're quoting about hypocrisy; you were fine associating yourself with an immoral sinner such as myself until you realised that I'm further away than you originally thought. He who is without sin shall cast the first stone, another nugget of wisdom from the text you keep quoting at me. If you're a model Christian you're an embarrassment to your religion." I know I shouldn't have responded, but his hypocrisy and double standards were really grating on me. He then went on to say that God had clearly put me in his path to steer him back away from sin and towards the light again. And if I repent and beg forgiveness now I can be saved, and seeing as he's a good Christian he'd be willing to help and advise me back to God. Wow. Just wow.
I didn't reply again, and he eventually got bored of quoting the Bible at me.
Just when I thought I'd seen it all... Christian Trolls.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lulu7 on 18 May 2016, 04:56:06 am
I snorted with laughter like a pig when I read that BJC.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 18 May 2016, 05:07:28 am
Quote from: lulu7 on 18 May 2016, 04:56:06 am
I snorted with laughter like a pig when I read that BJC.  ;D
I can laugh at it now, but at the time I was appalled/amazed. The bull I encounter in this profession never ceases to amaze me...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 18 May 2016, 08:39:53 am
Quote from: BJC on 18 May 2016, 04:50:57 am
Just when I thought I'd seen it all... Christian Trolls.

BAHAHAHAHA I needed a laugh this morning, thank you :D x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Naughtyforty on 18 May 2016, 11:24:16 am
Him. How far  from suckyfuckyhall street are you?

Me. Ignore

( Sauchiehall street is a famous shopping street in glasgow ) I assume he is referring to that!
And actually mate I'm miles away, read the profile, knob.
You couldn't make it up
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 18 May 2016, 12:23:06 pm
Quote from: BJC on 18 May 2016, 04:50:57 am
Guy asked for an outcall to somewhere in London. I'm in Leeds and told him so. His reply?:
"Good, ID probably get AIDS from you anyway" I ignored him, and he then proceeded to text me a load of quotes from the Bible about immoral women, sin, etc etc. After the 5th quote I replied to say "I'm sure there's a passage in that book you're quoting about hypocrisy; you were fine associating yourself with an immoral sinner such as myself until you realised that I'm further away than you originally thought. He who is without sin shall cast the first stone, another nugget of wisdom from the text you keep quoting at me. If you're a model Christian you're an embarrassment to your religion." I know I shouldn't have responded, but his hypocrisy and double standards were really grating on me. He then went on to say that God had clearly put me in his path to steer him back away from sin and towards the light again. And if I repent and beg forgiveness now I can be saved, and seeing as he's a good Christian he'd be willing to help and advise me back to God. Wow. Just wow.
I didn't reply again, and he eventually got bored of quoting the Bible at me.
Just when I thought I'd seen it all... Christian Trolls.

Yip, I got told I was a prostitute (no shit Sherlock), was ugly, had a smelly pussy and that he wanted me dead and hopes a client kills me because I don't do anal or offer taboo sex?? Never met this guy btw.

The way some of them switch from asking a normal (but annoying question when it's something you clearly don't do) to being complete fruit loops.

This happened this morning btw  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendall on 18 May 2016, 12:44:14 pm
Quote from: BJC on 18 May 2016, 04:50:57 am
Guy asked for an outcall to somewhere in London. I'm in Leeds and told him so. His reply?:
"Good, ID probably get AIDS from you anyway" I ignored him, and he then proceeded to text me a load of quotes from the Bible about immoral women, sin, etc etc. After the 5th quote I replied to say "I'm sure there's a passage in that book you're quoting about hypocrisy; you were fine associating yourself with an immoral sinner such as myself until you realised that I'm further away than you originally thought. He who is without sin shall cast the first stone, another nugget of wisdom from the text you keep quoting at me. If you're a model Christian you're an embarrassment to your religion." I know I shouldn't have responded, but his hypocrisy and double standards were really grating on me. He then went on to say that God had clearly put me in his path to steer him back away from sin and towards the light again. And if I repent and beg forgiveness now I can be saved, and seeing as he's a good Christian he'd be willing to help and advise me back to God. Wow. Just wow.
I didn't reply again, and he eventually got bored of quoting the Bible at me.
Just when I thought I'd seen it all... Christian Trolls.

Im sure this crank used to message me about how I shouldn't use Christian holidays to promote my heathen business
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 18 May 2016, 02:10:57 pm
Quote from: Naughtyforty on 18 May 2016, 11:24:16 am
Him. How far  from suckyfuckyhall street are you?

off topic a little. but still kinda relevant, but did you know sauchiehall street and the 2 steets off it (forgotten their names) used to be known as whores walk
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lulu7 on 18 May 2016, 03:42:10 pm
ugh the christian/religious trolls are the worst.

I once a male christian "friend" find out I was an escort by googling me because of something he saw on my laptop months ago . Then claim he was only trying to help  "lead me from committing sin" even though JUST that morning he had been texting me about how he wanted to SHAG me senseless (even though I had told him I wasn't sexually interested). I guess fornication before marriage isn't a sin..  ::)
When I pointed that out to him and the numerous times he had committed very big sins in my presence he basically gave that same bullshit excuse about "being led astray but now being on the straight and narrow"   :FF

I have a religious upbringing but I tend to stay away from religious people because of this type of  nonsense. Certain people can justify anything to themselves.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 18 May 2016, 03:59:34 pm
Recently took a new booking, totally not my type but as far as meets go, he was pleasant. He wanted a massage which isn't really my thing but I obliged. He proceeded to let me know my neighbour is an escort - he then turned round for oral....his jizz was rank. The text I recieved afterwards was "thank you so much for today, I hope I can become a regular to you. Soz for cumming in ur mouth but..." No thanks pal!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Blonde Floozie on 18 May 2016, 05:02:43 pm
"Can I suck on your meat?"   ???

No wonder their wives won't have sex with them  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 19 May 2016, 01:45:07 am
Quote from: Blonde Floozie on 18 May 2016, 05:02:43 pm
"Can I suck on your meat?"   ???

No wonder their wives won't have sex with them  :-X

Eewwwww 😳
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 19 May 2016, 05:50:33 pm
Texter.....

Idiot: What's your prices?
Me: My profile is quite clear.
Idiot: I would rather agree on a price, I'm looking for a bargain.
Me: Book someone within your price range, it's not rocket science.
Idiot: Calm down smart arse, just asked your prices ffs!

Idiot didn't just ask my prices though did he? He wanted a bargain  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 19 May 2016, 06:21:58 pm
I normally block idiots after delivering my blunt reply (mainly to avoid his stupidity coming my way).    ;D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 19 May 2016, 09:10:16 pm
^^

What did he think there was to agree on? It's not a two party agreement or a negotiation lol. The price listed is what you pay.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 19 May 2016, 11:10:25 pm
I hate when they call me "huni" or "bby". I'm not their "baby"  :FF
I don't respond to those txt.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Irishminx on 20 May 2016, 05:06:24 pm
Ok sorry I'm gonna bore you all with this incredibly long txt conversation complete with spelling, please note I meet this guy twice  :FF he is approximately 60 yrs old

Old guy: if tom r nit e suit yu be ok but no problem if not darling xxx

Me: I'm working tonight and tomorrow night

Old guy: great darling g look for a r d to meet yu again yu lovely girl will let you know later pet xxx

Old guy  (2 hrs later) : hi darling how yu will it  be ok to meet u tom r nit e as can't make it to nit e as having a funeral to attend hope dat ok wit yu love xxx (name)

Old guy (1hr later) : hi darling  how yu will yu be ok to meet tom r nit e sun if da at suit yu kiss you (name) xxx

Old guy (20 mins) : hi love will tom r nit e suit love yu xxx

Me (clenched teeth): yes tomorrow is fine, was working didn't get a chance to text back. See you tomorrow

Old guy (1 min): o days great look for a r d to meet yu pet sorry text yu wen yu working (so why text!!!!) how are you love xxx

Next day
Old guy: Hello darling sorry can't make it to ni t e had to drive to de air port got delayed xxx (I'm done  :FF)

8 days later
Old guy: hello darling  how yu hope u well love to go to bed with yu and make love and have fun have yu any place dat we cu  d do dat kiss u pet xxx

Old guy (hr later): hi love hope yu are havin a nice day and enjoye n good weather we d yu fancy making love to go to bed wit yu you are such a lovely lady xxx

Old guy (40 mins) : wu d yu fancy dat darling yu sexy girl xxx

Old guy (2 mins) : hi darling how yu did yu get my text about wat asked yu kiss u pet xxx 

((In my head screams))

Old guy (25 mins) hi darling  how yu hope yu well xxx  ;D (ah a smiley face now I'm gonna reply for sure)

Old guy (13 mins) : how yu darling hope all good wit yu xxxx

Old guy (1 min): hi luv hope u ok hope yu well  xxx

Old guy (4 mins) : let me kno  wen suit yu dat ee can meet again xxx

Next day
Old guy: hi love how yu wen suit yu to meet again xxx

Old guy (10 mins) : hi love how yu hope yu well xxx

Old guy (7 mins) wen will yu be available to meet darling xxx

Old guy (2 hrs later) hi chloe (who's chloe? So jealous now of this mysterious person I'll have to reply) will be in *names my town* tom r nit e can we meet xxx

Old guy (6 mins) : will 10 o c tom r nit be ok wit yu to meet love xxx

Next day
Old guy: hello love how yu hop yu well and enjoying the nice sun weather (it's lashing out) can i met yu xxx

Next day
Old guy: hello love how yu hop yu enjoying de good weather (still raining where is he??) Wish u spa good day xxx

Next day (note I updated pics on ad and now available for outcalls in my area)
Old guy :hello love how do yu do are yu irish (we've met, he obviously has no Idea it's me, same number) we d love to meet yu

Me: (i gave in) we have meet before (insert his name)

Old guy (2 mins) how yu keepin love grey to hear from you hope yu well pet xxx

Old guy (4 mins) hi chloe (who is she??) darling hope yu well seen u add do yu do out call s xxx

Me: not as far as (his town, 2 hrs away)

Old guy: o pity wu d love to go to bed wit yu as yu are a lovely  girl xxxx

Old guy (1 min): hope we can arrange something darling dat we can meet and go to bed wit yu and make love and kiss you (eww) xxx

Next day
Old guy:hi darling how yu hope yu  r day was ok how far do yu travel for outcalls xxx (my add clearly states this  :FF)

Next day
Old guy: hi love how yu hope ur day was ok take care darling xxx kiss u

Today (I mean wtf!!!!!)
Old guy: hi love how yu to day hope yu are well love to meet yu and go to bed wit yu and make love to yu is dare any place we can meet love xxx ( yes if you make a direct appointment  :FF)

Old guy (12 mins later) : hi darling let me kno if we can arrange n g e to meet some ware dat we can go to bed wu d love if we can love xxx

 :FF :FF
My guy should win just from me transcribing this conversation

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 20 May 2016, 05:35:09 pm
"If you are caring you will fanny fart in my face while I'm licking you."

I'm clearly not caring enough x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sourgrapes on 20 May 2016, 05:44:44 pm
A guy I saw a few times, and disliked each time, tried to book again. When I said no, his reaction was "you're joking, right?? My money is as good as anyone elses'".
Erm, I still get to choose  who I see   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 May 2016, 05:49:00 pm
Phonecall guy wanting a quickie..he then starts whittering on about how busty I am and then asks me how young I was when I started developing?!?
If that isn't bad enough he then asks if he really has to pay my quickie rate as he just wants to wank on me..phone went down!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Irishminx on 20 May 2016, 05:59:39 pm
Out in force today
Text "will i use you or somebody  else"

Me "use somebody else"

Sorry in advance to anyone in may have passed this charmer onto
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 May 2016, 06:52:05 pm
Am fecking fuming!Had a guy email on AW asking to see me at 7pm.Asked him to ring and he came out with 'Oh I've seen you before just give me the address,I don't have my mobile on me'Told him he would need to call when he arrives so he offered to ring on his homephone... :FF then he offered to ring on a pay phone.Sure enough I get a call and then a text from a previous no show and its my AW bloke saying he is ringing from his mates number.I didn't half tear a strip of him!Told him he was a liar and not to treat me like a complete fool and that he obviously knew I wouldn't see him as he had wasted my time before.
Why would anyone be so desperate and entitled to try and fool someone into seeing them?How about not acting like a dick in the first place then you wouldn't need to go to such lengths! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 May 2016, 08:18:43 pm
I give up today.My 7:45pm finally rang to say he was here at 8:15pm and seemed shocked that I wouldn't see him.I asked why he hadn't pulled over and let me know he was running late.Common sense seems to just go out the window with some of these guys!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 20 May 2016, 09:31:14 pm
Earlier text

How much for 1 hr? 140
How much for 30 mins? 80


Can you collect me from nearby village,  -no answer
I will pay extra - nope now go away your bothering me.. My profile says you need to ring me
What services on offer ( read the  freaking profile you dip shit)
As I said before no more replies, ring me

I am entitled to an answer e replies

I replied your entitled to fucking nothing from me, now go get some manners you little turd

Blocked aghhhhhhhhhhhhhh


Next text

Hi darling I am Chris 50 looking for fone sex once a week ( I don't do fone sex ladies)

So I said sure no problem 80 euro

He says for fone sex
I replied well thats my minimum fee, take it or leave it, wonder what his answer will be lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 20 May 2016, 09:49:50 pm
Well today was bliss for me, not one weirdo on the phone, not one idiot on the phone, not one psycho on the phone, no abuse, no threats, no blackmail.... Just a day of normal and decent men on my phone, this has to be a first in 5 years.

And my clients were all regulars today so didn't meet with anyone that was "off" either.

Oh and no crazy texts or emails either.

It feels nice  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 May 2016, 10:02:39 pm
I had a day like that once about a year ago!!I think all the crazies were calling me today instead!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 20 May 2016, 10:06:54 pm
Quote from: sourgrapes on 20 May 2016, 05:44:44 pm
A guy I saw a few times, and disliked each time, tried to book again. When I said no, his reaction was "you're joking, right?? My money is as good as anyone elses'".
Erm, I still get to choose  who I see   :FF

What a turd , money is not everything
Some guys in my working areas hate me as "I'm so extremely choosy" (this is what one bloke said)
Fuck yes, I am!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 20 May 2016, 10:39:25 pm
I wonder if that's something to do with the bad weather?   ??? ??? This may sound overly simplistic but sunny weather does appear to help and we get less sunny days up here, hence "crazies"? Lol. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 20 May 2016, 10:55:55 pm
Quote from: newbieNW on 20 May 2016, 10:39:25 pm
I wonder if that's something to do with the bad weather?   ??? ??? This may sound overly simplistic but sunny weather does appear to help and we get less sunny days up here, hence "crazies"? Lol.

I think the weather definitely does influence people's moods but I don't think the weather really has anything to do with some peoples lack of basic manners and respect lol.

Thankfully for 5 years, I've made a great wee living out of dealing with some of the nicest men I've ever met once I weed out all the crazies and all the numpties on the phone.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 21 May 2016, 12:28:35 am
So he wanted to make a booking giving a time which was fine. And then texted seconds later that he wanted to come during his lunch break to view me like some trophy. But no touching him. Oh my goodness as if I would agree. So blocked him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Naughtyforty on 21 May 2016, 01:03:09 am
Reading all of Fridays postings I'm kinda glad my phone never rang....
I never thought I would say that!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 21 May 2016, 09:37:15 am
Email on aw:

Subject:    You body will drive me crazy

Hi can I book you for an hour on the 30th infallible?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 21 May 2016, 12:00:52 pm
What does that actually mean?

I'd have to reply to him in order to find out. Fascinating haha.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 21 May 2016, 11:08:07 pm
Quote from: Kendra on 20 May 2016, 10:55:55 pm
Quote from: newbieNW on 20 May 2016, 10:39:25 pm

Thankfully for 5 years, I've made a great wee living out of dealing with some of the nicest men I've ever met once I weed out all the crazies and all the numpties on the phone.

xx
What a nice thing to say, Kendra xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 22 May 2016, 12:16:59 am
It's true. For every 10 phone calls I receive....1, maybe 2 of those sound like decent, normal human beings so there's a lot to sive through but once that's done....I'm usually left with such lovely, lovely people and I get such a buzz out of making such good money for entertaining such nice people. Some of my clients know more about me than my own friends of 15 years do.

There's  always the odd one that slips through the net unfortunately and makes for a shitty booking but there's no vetting procedure available to completely avoid that from happening from time to time when  meeting with complete strangers.

I really do get my knickers in a twist and get so wound up at bad manners and complete idiots, I'm defiantly no good at dealing with them even although I've had 5 years to learn how to deal with them but at the end of the day, those idiots aren't the ones paying my wages so I don't let them affect how much I enjoy my actual job. Well I don't let them affect how much I enjoy my job ANYMORE, I should say.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 22 May 2016, 10:04:28 am
9.30 am this morning .....u take bank transfer... Imagine this might be doing the rounds today , didn't answer.

Just after that " hi remember me ( I do vaguely) can I book you tonight" answered straight away and got "who's this " ...drives me mad , I understand lots of guys text multiple girls but I never answer as ...who knows who sent the second message on a Sunday morning !


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 22 May 2016, 12:35:21 pm
Quote from: Guiltypleasure on 22 May 2016, 10:04:28 am
9.30 am this morning .....u take bank transfer... Imagine this might be doing the rounds today , didn't answer.

Just after that " hi remember me ( I do vaguely) can I book you tonight" answered straight away and got "who's this " ...drives me mad , I understand lots of guys text multiple girls but I never answer as ...who knows who sent the second message on a Sunday morning !

I'm really put off when clients ask me who I am aswell considering I always either out my full name or at the very least, my first initial at the end of my text.

It's fair enough that they must ring loads of girls but the way I see it is.....you're pretty much guaranteed those guys haven't a clue what your profile says and that for me is always very off putting.

Also, I used to work weekends but I only ever took booking from people I knew on the weekends or new clients that had pre-booked for the weekends. I know there can be a lot of numpties to deal with through the week but on weekends, I personally find the clientele a complete and utter nightmare as it's usually men who are still drunk or on something from the night before or guys with the hangover horn that just want to come and bash you into next week nevermind the volume of timewasters.

I haven't worked weekends at all this year and I personally find that it makes me more motivated with my work during the week and that I have a much better attitude towards me work. Working day in, day out and dealing with the madness every day without a break burnt me out so I changed a few things this year with regards to all of that and it's been much, much better.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 23 May 2016, 09:10:12 am
Hi when are you available? I need a bj and then I will fuck you for hours with my 21cm torpedo. Real fotto

He sent that this morning at 7am  ::)

I hate waking up to messages like that as it normally sets the tone for the rest of the day  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 23 May 2016, 02:04:14 pm
Calling at 1.30pm to ask if 'm available. I advise I'm available until 8pm. Then say they'll ring back around 5, (won't hold my breath). Instead he texts me at 8.15pm asking if I can see him at 9.30pm.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 23 May 2016, 04:48:05 pm
"R U FREE BABY?"  :FF :FF :FF

No! Not in any sense of the word! How hard is it to compose a proper message?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 24 May 2016, 09:51:08 am
This morning, "hey my names ###### I'm a new Punter want to meet up !
 
Me..first time someone's text that ...no reply

2nd "only want OWO want to check you can do this " accompanied by pic of v big dick !!

Dickhead lol !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 24 May 2016, 12:01:31 pm
From a 0 feedback bloke on AW.Member name TynesideT**.

'I'm the bosses of the bosses in the mafia.I want to take you on a datenight.All expenses paid.Trip to the theatre and nice meal.'

Who knew the big mafia don resided in the UK and Tyneside to boot!I should have replied and said 'Sorry I'm only seeing clients in the Yardies and Yakuza right now.'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 24 May 2016, 12:09:37 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 24 May 2016, 12:01:31 pm
From a 0 feedback bloke on AW.Member name TynesideT**.

'I'm the bosses of the bosses in the mafia.I want to take you on a datenight.All expenses paid.Trip to the theatre and nice meal.'

Who knew the big mafia don resided in the UK and Tyneside to boot!I should have replied and said 'Sorry I'm only seeing clients in the Yardies and Yakuza right now.'
He sent me a message asking me to join his new agency
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 24 May 2016, 01:06:16 pm
Quote from: geordie on 24 May 2016, 12:09:37 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 24 May 2016, 12:01:31 pm
From a 0 feedback bloke on AW.Member name TynesideT**.

'I'm the bosses of the bosses in the mafia.I want to take you on a datenight.All expenses paid.Trip to the theatre and nice meal.'

Who knew the big mafia don resided in the UK and Tyneside to boot!I should have replied and said 'Sorry I'm only seeing clients in the Yardies and Yakuza right now.'
He sent me a message asking me to join his new agency

That one seems to have done the rounds lol. Total fantasist acting like a big shot. If he met real mafia and yakuza pimps he'd be the first to crap himself.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 24 May 2016, 02:15:39 pm
"Can I see you at 5:30 this evening?"

"Sorry, I'm afraid I'm finishing up at 5pm, I've nothing booked for around that time the rest of the week if that would suit?"

"I can't get there till after 5 though...not even a quickie? You know you want to!"

No. No. No. I don't.

Two minutes later...(different caller)

"Hi are you available just now for an incall?"

"Yes, how long for?"

"Oh not long, so let's call it ?20 for a blowjob"

"Let's not."

Five minutes later...

"How big are your puppies?"

"My what?"

"YOUR PUPPIES! HOW BIG ARE THEY?!"

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 24 May 2016, 02:45:24 pm
So on Friday, I had a lovely day with no eejits, no thoughtless idiots, no timewasters, no crap full stop for the first time in 5 years.

Well they're making up for it today  ::)

My phone hasn't stopped and only once have I had a phone call from a normal human being and that was someone I had met before, once last week I think but the rest have been driving me nuts.

I met a regular this morning which was lovely but unless someone else I know phones me, I ain't meeting with them cause I'm not in the mood.

I've had a guy wanking on the phone to me!
I've had the creepiest sounding guy ever on the phone to me, creepier than the wanker!
I've had, what can I get for ?20
I've had what do I get for the hour followed by....aye well most profiles are fulla shite after I told him that my profile is very clear!
I've had the hagglers on the phone/text!
I've been called a cum dumpster!
I've had someone bark at me that I've to delete his number after I got back to his missed call within the hour!
I've had a text saying "where do you live". As if I'm gonna send a random stranger my address that I've not even spoken to, that hasn't read my profile, that doesn't have an appointment with me!
I've had a text saying I know you don't like texts but blah blah blah....!

And I can't remember the rest off the top of my head.

Then a guy phones me up asks how I am, how my day is going, talks about the weather and then what I'm up to before I put the phone down on him after I asked him how I could help him but he ignored me and asked me another non related question to a booking/availability/services.

Then I got a text off him apologising for being a genuine gentleman and I felt like total shit and text him apologising for jumping the gun because although he was totally pissing about, he didn't actually do anything wrong so I was the one in the wrong for taking it out on the wrong person so I've decided to stop answering the phone today unless it's someone I know as I don't wanna be a grumpy cow to the wrong people.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 24 May 2016, 03:36:12 pm
^
Tbh even though he wasn't abusive or rude beating around the bush and not getting to the point is grounds for hanging up on them. It's a business line would he call up the bank to have a nice chat? Argos? The local Pizza Hut? They'd all slam the phone down if he's wasting time and had no business with them. I wouldn't feel that bad about it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 24 May 2016, 03:44:55 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 24 May 2016, 12:01:31 pm
From a 0 feedback bloke on AW.Member name TynesideT**.

'I'm the bosses of the bosses in the mafia.I want to take you on a datenight.All expenses paid.Trip to the theatre and nice meal.'

Who knew the big mafia don resided in the UK and Tyneside to boot!I should have replied and said 'Sorry I'm only seeing clients in the Yardies and Yakuza right now.'
I had a bigshot a while ago going on about how high profile he is and is worried about discretion etc etc, he was gonna get his driver to whisk me away after the booking to a world I didn't know existed, apparently he was a football agent, I wouldn't know any football agents if I walked past one! I told him to forget it, make a booking or go away and he text "You really don't care who I am do you?" No!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 24 May 2016, 03:45:35 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 24 May 2016, 03:36:12 pm
^
Tbh even though he wasn't abusive or rude beating around the bush and not getting to the point is grounds for hanging up on them. It's a business line would he call up the bank to have a nice chat? Argos? The local Pizza Hut? They'd all slam the phone down if he's wasting time and had no business with them. I wouldn't feel that bad about it.

I know, your absolutely right but I just felt bad because he didn't actually do anything bad. Yes he was pissing about but he didn't do anything bad and I shouldn't have took my frustration out on him. If anything, the guy calling me a cum dumpster is the type that deserves a belly full, not the guy who's only talking about the weather etc x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jill on 24 May 2016, 05:16:53 pm
"I've had, what can I get for �20"

 I got this one too a couple of weeks ago.  I couldn't resist replying "why don't you pop along to Aldi, you should be able to fill a basket nicely with 20"

He put the phone down, rude caller!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 24 May 2016, 10:34:20 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 24 May 2016, 11:25:59 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 24 May 2016, 11:51:35 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jill on 25 May 2016, 12:06:25 am
I wish I had time to read this whole thread, all 9 thousand pages  :)

Obviously some hilarious and also many very stupid messages and emails. I count myself lucky that I get very few but because of that when a stupid enquiry or comment pops up I am surprised. Usually I refuse even to respond or react so no messages going back and forth. If it is a phone call I deal with it quickly but with good manners.

"Can I book you cos am in the bath having a wank right now" was never going to turn into a meeting.
 "me mate said you're worth a meet" wasn't going to work either. If a "mate" passes on my number to his friend but the friend has not looked at my profile then it is a big no from me. Why do some men say a mate gave them the number, do they not like to admit they have looked at websites?   Weird!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 25 May 2016, 12:12:05 am
Quote from: Jill on 25 May 2016, 12:06:25 am
I wish I had time to read this whole thread, all 9 thousand pages  :)

Obviously some hilarious and also many very stupid messages and emails. I count myself lucky that I get very few but because of that when a stupid enquiry or comment pops up I am surprised. Usually I refuse even to respond or react so no messages going back and forth. If it is a phone call I deal with it quickly but with good manners.

"Can I book you cos am in the bath having a wank right now" was never going to turn into a meeting.
 "me mate said you're worth a meet" wasn't going to work either. If a "mate" passes on my number to his friend but the friend has not looked at my profile then it is a big no from me. Why do some men say a mate gave them the number, do they not like to admit they have looked at websites?   Weird!  ::)

I wonder if it's certain areas or certain people that attract the madness mostly? I definitely attract it and believe it or not, for all the moaning I do....I usually IGNORE but some times the persistent ones make it very difficult to ignore.

I just thank my stars every day that my actual clients, the ones paying my wages by the time I weed out all the horrible ones are complete gentleman who I really enjoy spending time with but I find this part of the job very difficult to process at times.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 25 May 2016, 12:42:35 am
I just had a text from someone who's never been in touch before that just says:

"Hii can you get young knickers lol x"

Which reminded me, I also got two very similar texts from another number in Feb and Apr that I've since blocked:

"Hey!!! Any younger knickers lol xxxx"
"Hiii can you get young knickers? Lol x"

I assume it's the same guy with a new number, which is now also on my block list.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 25 May 2016, 08:09:04 am
An idiot of the highest order.

"I would like to book for three hours - can you send me a face photo?"
Blocked immediately  8) 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: K47 on 25 May 2016, 11:19:25 am
Quote from: Just An Escort on 25 May 2016, 12:42:35 am
I just had a text from someone who's never been in touch before that just says:

"Hii can you get young knickers lol x"

Which reminded me, I also got two very similar texts from another number in Feb and Apr that I've since blocked:

"Hey!!! Any younger knickers lol xxxx"
"Hiii can you get young knickers? Lol x"

I assume it's the same guy with a new number, which is now also on my block list.

What are young knickers???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 25 May 2016, 12:56:55 pm
I think he may be referring to girls knickers how disgusting what a perv.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 25 May 2016, 07:33:14 pm
Hey

I'm not interested in your work, I thought you were cute and might want to go on a date with me? I'm a 20 year old professional from Glasgow.

 ::)

This guy phoned me first to see if I was available tonight but I have someone coming at 8pm so that was the text he sent after he got off the phone.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 26 May 2016, 07:24:30 am
Text received, blah blah blah, what he wants to do etc but only wants to book 2 hours at first as we haven't met before. 2 hours is a long time when you haven't met before! My auto reply goes out saying I don't accept texts and please call. So he replies to that saying he isn't confident enough to call yet...another auto reply goes out.

An hour later I get the "???" text.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 26 May 2016, 03:20:56 pm
Quote from: K47 on 25 May 2016, 11:19:25 am
What are young knickers???

Quote from: Lushblossom on 25 May 2016, 12:56:55 pm
I think he may be referring to girls knickers how disgusting what a perv.

I had no idea - all the "lol" and such made me think it was a teen guy playing a game, I never replied to any of the texts. But yeah sounds like a perv
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 26 May 2016, 11:24:54 pm
Text....

I know your profile says you don't work past 10pm but are you working now? (It's 11.24pm).

And do you do half hours instead of the hour?

So this guy has actually taken the time to read my profile but hasn't actually respected anything that's on it. I don't know what's worse, those who don't read your profile or those who do but don't care what it says?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jill on 26 May 2016, 11:56:43 pm
I got the "anal now?" text again today.  I don't do that service but if I did no one sending a message like that would get to see me.
Another caller phoned me today and all I got on answering was "yes mmm where are you?"

If men can not even check who they are talking to or introduce themselves politely then I know from the first few seconds it is not going to work. 

Most of these men are unlikely to be genuine anyway so nothing lost. It just serves to make us appreciate the good guys so much and there are a large number of them out there.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlaqHarlot on 27 May 2016, 12:33:04 pm
"Hi hunny your fit as fuck can I stick my long rod in u soon mmmmm"

Literally just copied and pasted that. Wow. No reply from me lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 27 May 2016, 01:59:49 pm
Phone call there for a wee ned/chav....

Awrite Kendra ya wee durty, want tae have a 3sum wae...

Phone down and block  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 27 May 2016, 04:04:32 pm
Got a text there saying....

Much

That's it, nothing else. Assuming he means how much?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jill on 27 May 2016, 04:30:05 pm
Quote from: Kendra on 27 May 2016, 04:04:32 pm
Got a text there saying....

Much

That's it, nothing else. Assuming he means how much?  ::)

That made me laugh!  You could have replied "lot"

 :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 28 May 2016, 02:43:30 pm
Quote from: Kendra on 27 May 2016, 01:59:49 pm
Phone call there for a wee ned/chav....

Awrite Kendra ya wee durty, want tae have a 3sum wae...

Phone down and block  ::)

Sorry but this made me laugh, ya wee durty!

"Have you trimmed or shaved?"

"Shaved."

*client proceeds to give me a closer inspection than any nurse/doctor ever has*

"You've actually done quite a good job, your lady parts look pleasant..."

*client then proceeds to try gnaw my clit off*  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 30 May 2016, 12:06:27 pm
A punter with severe anxiety / control issues (appears to be genuine, potentially Asperger's: read an "asshole" in this case - no offence to Asperger's community).  I said, "I normally take phone calls in the morning because I would be busy with my clients in the afternoon".  I offered to speak to him this afternoon if he's free to talk in the afternoon, to which he insisted he wouldn't for "obvious reasons".  He kept ignoring my written reply etc and asked me "so is *** o'clock still ok?" on the date that he specified. Completely ignored my messages (yeah, he read them).  His appointment is like a few days away.  I say, fuck him.  He is as important as a dead fly until he learns a concept of "respect".   8)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 30 May 2016, 03:53:15 pm
Guy I've seen before who does the 'thumb thing' on my pelvis.....just text ' I like the pic of you in blah blah blah , 'if you had your skirt a little shorter I might be inclined to make a booking' .....oh ok Count Dracula I'll buy a shorter skirt !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 31 May 2016, 08:26:16 am
Woke up to a text at 3.31am this morning....

Hi would you be available for an outcall (I don't do outcalls or work 24 hours) to G64 4AN? But we must be very very quiet as my family are all asleep upstairs. Is that ok? X

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 31 May 2016, 02:36:34 pm
Got a text just saying "fuck now?"

Replied "no fuck you"

Then he wrote a long abusive text along the lines of "u stupid skank blah blah blah"

It's going to be one of those days I can sense it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jill on 31 May 2016, 02:43:36 pm
On receipt of an online booking from an unknown man, one who had not contacted me to see if I was free or available, he requested that I do an outcall to his home in 30minutes time and gave me his full address which is within walking distance to my in call place.  He was not to know that because my exact location is kept under wraps and for all he knew I could have been 10 miles away.
He could have been genuine but I was not about to find out as he was so lax with his own security. His address could have been the home of someone else I realise but bookings like that stand no chance of my attendance.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 31 May 2016, 03:58:53 pm
Quote from: Kendra on 31 May 2016, 08:26:16 am
Woke up to a text at 3.31am this morning....

Hi would you be available for an outcall (I don't do outcalls or work 24 hours) to G64 4AN? But we must be very very quiet as my family are all asleep upstairs. Is that ok? X

 ::)

Sure! If we disturb anyone, we can ask them to join too, avoid any weirdness... :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 31 May 2016, 09:12:10 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 31 May 2016, 02:36:34 pm
Got a text just saying "fuck now?"

Replied "no fuck you"

Then he wrote a long abusive text along the lines of "u stupid skank blah blah blah"

It's going to be one of those days I can sense it.
A piece of Sh!t, you got there  ;D 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 31 May 2016, 09:48:48 pm
Just got a text there....

Can u do a bj

Very basic manners and social skills right out the window once again  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 31 May 2016, 10:42:27 pm
Texts
are you open? Is it open?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 31 May 2016, 11:43:35 pm
11.26pm -call which was rejected. (as per I state any calls/texts after 11pm will be ignored and blocked.)
Immediately three texts in a row.
"hi"
"where you fron"
"from"

How is that even relevant?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 01 June 2016, 12:56:47 am
Quote from: strawberryjam on 31 May 2016, 10:42:27 pm
Texts
are you open? Is it open?

LMFAO!! "Is it open?" Totally LOL there!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 01 June 2016, 03:11:35 am
I was mildly creeped out by a text from someone about two counties away from me, who said he'd been watching my profile for two years, and wanted to book 4h or an overnight one Saturday this month - but only if I was 100% single. There would be no sex.

After saying I do 2h max with a new client, and social time would have to be paid for, I asked why I needed to be single. He said his late wife had also been an escort and now he wanted to "someone to rebuild his life with".

Shudder.

I told him I had zero interest in an LTR...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 01 June 2016, 09:58:53 am
That is mega CREEP!!

Still, my "hypothesis" has not been refuted - "if you are an escort, you are a creep magnet" and your neighbour might start to hate you, as well.  ;)  ;D   :-X  Someone (a punter - a nice one) said of late that he used to see an escort but she decided to quit because she couldn't handle TWs / idiots messing her around on AW and now she got a civvie job, instead (and quite happy, apparently). 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 01 June 2016, 11:22:54 am
Quote from: newbieNW on 01 June 2016, 09:58:53 am
That is mega CREEP!!

Still, my "hypothesis" has not been refuted - "if you are an escort, you are a creep magnet" and your neighbour might start to hate you, as well.  ;)  ;D   :-X  Someone (a punter - a nice one) said of late that he used to see an escort but she decided to quit because she couldn't handle TWs / idiots messing her around on AW and now she got a civvie job, instead (and quite happy, apparently).

All many reasons why I don't plan on doing this forever but honestly I think there are more positives than negatives. Yeah getting idiots on an almost daily basis calling and texting me is a pain  but I'm making good money and the majority of people I've dealt with are really nice and I've met some people  I likely never would have ever met in a civvie life.  Think I'm good with the neighbour I've never even seen them lol. As far as I can tell they commute to work on weekdays and sometimes on weekends since they leave early in the morning and come home in the evening. I think I saw him once when I was taking the trash out and this guy with glasses said hello to me passing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 01 June 2016, 06:07:03 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn link=topic=1637.msg248842#msg248842 date=1464776574
[/quote

All many reasons why I don't plan on doing this forever but honestly I think there are more positives than negatives. Yeah getting idiots on an almost daily basis calling and texting me is a pain  but I'm making good money and the majority of people I've dealt with are really nice and I've met some people  I likely never would have ever met in a civvie life.  Think I'm good with the neighbour I've never even seen them lol. As far as I can tell they commute to work on weekdays and sometimes on weekends since they leave early in the morning and come home in the evening. I think I saw him once when I was taking the trash out and this guy with glasses said hello to me passing.

How nice, TZ.  It's nice to hear about getting along with neighbours on this site.   :D I agree about the positives 100%.  My "career" as a wg hasn't even started.  I'm only a newbie taking online bookings via AW.  Real wg's life begins when you start taking phone calls from your own advert and touring.  Lots to learn for me.  Thank you for sharing.   :) :-*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 01 June 2016, 06:32:51 pm
"Ay luv, I'd love to taste ya mmmmmmm"

Ew Ew Ew
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 01 June 2016, 11:09:00 pm
It really is no wonder they have to pay for sex  :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 02 June 2016, 12:10:36 am
texts

baby r u avai
wud love 2 c u my baby

I'm not their baby or darling ffs  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 02 June 2016, 12:35:15 am
Had a caller this evening but the signal was awful so resorted to text. As he told me more about himself, he asked for an outcall. Due to distance and me not driving, I explained I couldn't make it at such short notice. The response? "Aw gutter, man! I can only have an outcall tonight as my parents are out! LOOOLZ!" Because that'll sell it to me!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Blonde Floozie on 02 June 2016, 05:56:51 pm
' Hi, I wondered if you were available today?'

'Yes, I am working today, how can I help you darling?'

'Can I piss and shit in your mouth?'

CLICK - and the call was ended. I'd just bought a fucking kebab as well. That'll teach me to answer the phone when i'm about to eat!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 02 June 2016, 06:26:26 pm
"Hi there I'm parked up near Kelvingrove grove park wots yr postcode plz"

Sure no bother, pal. I'll dish that out for you...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 02 June 2016, 07:20:51 pm
Quote from: Lolapops on 02 June 2016, 06:26:26 pm
"Hi there I'm parked up near Kelvingrove grove park wots yr postcode plz"

Sure no bother, pal. I'll dish that out for you...

I hate it when I get that, I either get texts or phone calls saying what's your address? Uuuuuum I'm not telling you because you don't have an appointment with me.

I think lots of men think they can just show up like its a brothel or something not taking into consideration that it's our own homes and they can't just turn up when they like.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 02 June 2016, 08:02:22 pm
Quote from: Kendra on 02 June 2016, 07:20:51 pm
Quote from: Lolapops on 02 June 2016, 06:26:26 pm
"Hi there I'm parked up near Kelvingrove grove park wots yr postcode plz"

Sure no bother, pal. I'll dish that out for you...

I hate it when I get that, I either get texts or phone calls saying what's your address? Uuuuuum I'm not telling you because you don't have an appointment with me.

I think lots of men think they can just show up like its a brothel or something not taking into consideration that it's our own homes and they can't just turn up when they like.

I didn't even bother to tell him that's not how it works. That pretty much sums up my day today. Had my first no show and I've a feeling I'm in for a second... :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 02 June 2016, 11:12:36 pm
Quote from: Kendra on 02 June 2016, 07:20:51 pm
Quote from: Lolapops on 02 June 2016, 06:26:26 pm
"Hi there I'm parked up near Kelvingrove grove park wots yr postcode plz"

Sure no bother, pal. I'll dish that out for you...

I hate it when I get that, I either get texts or phone calls saying what's your address? Uuuuuum I'm not telling you because you don't have an appointment with me.

I think lots of men think they can just show up like its a brothel or something not taking into consideration that it's our own homes and they can't just turn up when they like.


I'm not quite sure if due to the large amount and varying profiles on aw that they genuinely get confused as to how to book or they're just acting dumb or genuinely are thick as planks  ??? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 02 June 2016, 11:25:08 pm
Quote from: Lolapops on 02 June 2016, 08:02:22 pm
Quote from: Kendra on 02 June 2016, 07:20:51 pm
Quote from: Lolapops on 02 June 2016, 06:26:26 pm
"Hi there I'm parked up near Kelvingrove grove park wots yr postcode plz"

Sure no bother, pal. I'll dish that out for you...

I hate it when I get that, I either get texts or phone calls saying what's your address? Uuuuuum I'm not telling you because you don't have an appointment with me.

I think lots of men think they can just show up like its a brothel or something not taking into consideration that it's our own homes and they can't just turn up when they like.

I didn't even bother to tell him that's not how it works. That pretty much sums up my day today. Had my first no show and I've a feeling I'm in for a second... :FF

Your first ever no show?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 02 June 2016, 11:29:06 pm
Texts

U in (random hotel name)

I don't know if it's a question or he thinks I'm there
 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 02 June 2016, 11:39:10 pm
Yep. In two years I've never had one. Cancellations, yes but never had anyone miss a booking. That said, I had a feeling he might flake on me so not overly fussed. Mostly just all the idiots texting today...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 03 June 2016, 12:43:27 am
From a guy who tried to ring at half past midnight and then just text:

"You are too much money for sex"

Was he going to say that to me as soon as I answered? Does he not know how to find people who charge less? Well, he's blocked now so I guess I'll never know!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 03 June 2016, 02:03:58 am
I'm not sure if they genuinely think they would persuade us to charge less to their liking or they are just ride or a bit of both lol  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 03 June 2016, 02:14:19 am
"Hi,
I saw your profile on AdultWork.com and ...What's the difference from contacting you this way than using the site?
Matthew.  "

 :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 03 June 2016, 06:23:39 am
Woke up to a text sent middle of the nite saying....

You available?

Then 2 minutes later, I get a ?

Followed by 7 missed calls.

Then I get a text saying you available tonight or will I phone back tomorrow?

Don't phone back EVER you fucking ignorant pest!! Seriously, thoughtless eejits like that really do irritate me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 03 June 2016, 12:04:15 pm
Text from someone who has been several times before:

"Hi Kat its (his name) You ok? I was planning to see you today but like an idiot I've left my bank card at home and no cash on me any chance I can sort it with you on Monday? Xxx"


He's certainly right about being an idiot  ::) Whats he think I am a buy now pay later loan company  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jill on 03 June 2016, 12:14:52 pm
Quote from: katrina on 03 June 2016, 12:04:15 pm
Text from someone who has been several times before:

"Hi Kat its (his name) You ok? I was planning to see you today but like an idiot I've left my bank card at home and no cash on me any chance I can sort it with you on Monday? Xxx"


He's certainly right about being an idiot  ::) Whats he think I am a buy now pay later loan company  :FF

Two guys have tried this one on with me. Both I had seen before and both I refused. "But you know me and you know I would not scam you" did not even make me hesitate. We all like a freebie anything from time to time and men who get one "on account" could be tempted to move on and not pay their dues.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 03 June 2016, 12:23:16 pm
Quote from: strawberryjam on 03 June 2016, 02:14:19 am
"Hi,
I saw your profile on AdultWork.com and ...What's the difference from contacting you this way than using the site?
Matthew.  "

 :FF :FF

It always annoys me when someone contacts you and asks how to contact you to make a booking - well you just contacted me this way so I guess this'll do!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 03 June 2016, 12:26:03 pm
Oh yes when they ring and ask you how they make a booking..well do you think the fact you are ringing me on my published number might be a clue?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 03 June 2016, 01:30:51 pm
When they ask if your avalible today. Then say to come in half an hour. So when the time is clarified. They then say they will phone back to confirm. Hang on... They should decide first a time before phoning. Got no time for these.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 03 June 2016, 02:49:52 pm
Quote from: meetingdiversity on 03 June 2016, 01:30:51 pm
When they ask if your avalible today. Then say to come in half an hour. So when the time is clarified. They then say they will phone back to confirm. Hang on... They should decide first a time before phoning. Got no time for these.

"I'll call you back" is the bane of my life. They aren't calling back..At least one of those daily often from a very up front and genuine seeming client who suddenly vanishes before confirming anything. Another one I tend to get is people wanting to make bookings for 3-6 weeks time. Just call me closer to the time! What they really want is to bombard you with wanky emails and texts about how they "Can't wait" writing an essay of things they want to do then when the booking comes around they have to cancel for a random reason but they'd be free in another 6 weeks!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: K47 on 03 June 2016, 03:21:41 pm
Message I got yesterday on Adultwork:

Subject:   ru the one? x


Hey beautiful x How ru? Ru thee for my late night needs? How does ?30 and a big fat cock appeal to u? Theyre all urs until the alcohol n coke run out.........and ill bring them with me btw :-) xx Im Steven. Nice, normal and genuine. Oh n 33, dark hair and white xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 03 June 2016, 03:33:29 pm
Quote from: K47 on 03 June 2016, 03:21:41 pm
Message I got yesterday on Adultwork:

Subject:   ru the one? x


Hey beautiful x How ru? Ru thee for my late night needs? How does ?30 and a big fat cock appeal to u? Theyre all urs until the alcohol n coke run out.........and ill bring them with me btw :-) xx Im Steven. Nice, normal and genuine. Oh n 33, dark hair and white xx

He sounds like a total catch, I don't know how me manage to control ourselves with offers like that... ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 03 June 2016, 05:13:06 pm
Quote from: Lolapops on 03 June 2016, 03:33:29 pm
Quote from: K47 on 03 June 2016, 03:21:41 pm
Message I got yesterday on Adultwork:

Subject:   ru the one? x


Hey beautiful x How ru? Ru thee for my late night needs? How does ?30 and a big fat cock appeal to u? Theyre all urs until the alcohol n coke run out.........and ill bring them with me btw :-) xx Im Steven. Nice, normal and genuine. Oh n 33, dark hair and white xx

He sounds like a total catch, I don't know how me manage to control ourselves with offers like that... ::)

He obviously thinks a big fat cock is a temptation.
hahahahaaaaaaaaaaa
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 03 June 2016, 07:12:21 pm
Quote from: K47 on 03 June 2016, 03:21:41 pm
Message I got yesterday on Adultwork:

Subject:   ru the one? x


Hey beautiful x How ru? Ru thee for my late night needs? How does ?30 and a big fat cock appeal to u? Theyre all urs until the alcohol n coke run out.........and ill bring them with me btw :-) xx Im Steven. Nice, normal and genuine. Oh n 33, dark hair and white xx

No doubt a big fat limp cock if he's on coke!

You must have totally frothed up down below at the thought of that offer  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 03 June 2016, 11:12:48 pm
Quote from: K47 on 03 June 2016, 03:21:41 pm
Message I got yesterday on Adultwork:

Subject:   ru the one? x


Hey beautiful x How ru? Ru thee for my late night needs? How does ?30 and a big fat cock appeal to u? Theyre all urs until the alcohol n coke run out.........and ill bring them with me btw :-) xx Im Steven. Nice, normal and genuine. Oh n 33, dark hair and white xx

I got a similar email... With a proposition like that I think the only place his 'big fat cock' will end up is in his "nice, normal and genuine" hand!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 04 June 2016, 01:53:48 pm
Quote from: K47 on 03 June 2016, 03:21:41 pm
Message I got yesterday on Adultwork:

Subject:   ru the one? x


Hey beautiful x How ru? Ru thee for my late night needs? How does ?30 and a big fat cock appeal to u? Theyre all urs until the alcohol n coke run out.........and ill bring them with me btw :-) xx Im Steven. Nice, normal and genuine. Oh n 33, dark hair and white xx

I laughed so hard at the end. "I'm nice,normal and genuine....Apart from my drinking and drug issues meaning I can't afford you"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 04 June 2016, 02:28:09 pm
I just received this email

"I'm a jung gentlemen who want to meet u. I'm 27 with nice athletic body. I very like u and hopefully u are real and I'll see u soon. I need more information about you. If u can send me some picture and briefly introduce yourself that gonna be perfect.
Thanks"

Thanks but no thanks. I will pass.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 04 June 2016, 03:49:02 pm
Just had a guy who wants me to visit his home, send a photo of himself and assurances that he is dv cleared and works for the mod rather than sending proof of address, he's already told me a full name and address, but if you have such high security clearance why are you inviting escorts to your home and bragging about where you work?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 04 June 2016, 04:20:43 pm
Would you take me hostage as a maid and u can have my 10"to play with. Martin.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 04 June 2016, 04:43:12 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 04 June 2016, 03:49:02 pm
Just had a guy who wants me to visit his home, send a photo of himself and assurances that he is dv cleared and works for the mod rather than sending proof of address, he's already told me a full name and address, but if you have such high security clearance why are you inviting escorts to your home and bragging about where you work?

I remember the time when client told me he works for MI5  ;D ;D :FF and that he used his work email to contact me. He asked why I replied to his email with name XX Sexy.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 04 June 2016, 11:15:18 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 04 June 2016, 04:20:43 pm
Would you take me hostage as a maid and u can have my 10"to play with. Martin.

I had someone called Martin who kept asking me to do different hostage/domination scenarios - I wonder if it's the same one!

Here are some of the messages from hostage Martin from 2014 and 2015:

Would u tie me up. Martin
Would u tie me up and service me? Martin
Would u tie me up and take me hostage on ur bed. Martin
I am up 4 grabs if u hold me hostage. Got lots of money. Martina
R u up to keep me hostage? Martin
Would u take me hostage. Martin
Would u tie me up as a hostage. Martin
Would u take me hostage as a maid. Martin

I sent a reply once: Hi Martin, please stop send me texts about taking you hostage. It's not a service I offer or ever will offer. Pease find someone else who does offer the services you are looking for.

3 weeks later: Would u tie me up as a hostage. Martin (I think he must have been blocked after that as I don't see any other messages from him!)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 05 June 2016, 06:48:33 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 04 June 2016, 03:49:02 pm
Just had a guy who wants me to visit his home, send a photo of himself and assurances that he is dv cleared and works for the mod rather than sending proof of address, he's already told me a full name and address, but if you have such high security clearance why are you inviting escorts to your home and bragging about where you work?

Well seems the country is in safe hands...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 05 June 2016, 10:12:59 pm
Ah yes I've Martin too.I even had him ring me.He wanted to be tied up in a wedding dress.I even half heartedly booked him in and sure enough he didn't show up saying he got lost.He still texts now with all the 'Would you take me hostage' bollocks.He must just text wgs up and down the country.Sad twat.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 06 June 2016, 01:23:51 am
"Hi, it's Martin, that might sounds silly, but would you mind selling me to a Chinese takeaway?  "

WTF  ;D :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 06 June 2016, 09:40:21 am
Quote from: strawberryjam on 06 June 2016, 01:23:51 am
"Hi, it's Martin, that might sounds silly, but would you mind selling me to a Chinese takeaway?  "

WTF  ;D :FF :FF

Someone else posted that a few pages back lol. I can't get my head round that one at all  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 06 June 2016, 12:57:04 pm
Martin really needs to get a life doesn't he. Spends all day spamming escorts with these messages. Amusingly anybody I've ever dealt with who gave that name was a strange guy maybe they are all the same one. Had a guy called Martin call me once who sounded  kind of drunk talking about weird things while playing opera music in the background. I can't remember exactly what was said other than it didn't make much sense and he was droning on asking questions.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 06 June 2016, 01:11:51 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 06 June 2016, 12:57:04 pm
Martin really needs to get a life doesn't he. Spends all day spamming escorts with these messages. Amusingly anybody I've ever dealt with who gave that name was a strange guy maybe they are all the same one. Had a guy called Martin call me once who sounded  kind of drunk talking about weird things while playing opera music in the background. I can't remember exactly what was said other than it didn't make much sense and he was droning on asking questions.

The opera music in the back ground sounds a bit like Hannibal Lecktor  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 06 June 2016, 01:16:06 pm
When he was contacting me he was called Phillip ::).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 06 June 2016, 06:16:02 pm
Hi hannah

I love your look and would love to come see you if at all possible. I have some naughty fantasies I was wondering if you could help?

I would love it if you were dressed in pvc. I would love to run my hands over you as we kiss and feel the heat of your body through the smooth warmth of the pvc as it clings to your curves :).

If you don't have any pvc I have some I can bring . xx

I would love to kiss you all over then lick you and tease you till I can taste your creamy juices on my tongue as you cum.

Then I would work my way up your body kissing and caressing you until you could feel the tip of my bare cock kissing the lips of your wet sumptuous pussy as I ease deep into you and work my cock deep inside your warm wet body making me ache to cum deep in you and feel your juices running down the shaft of my stiff cock xx.

Do you think you would like to meet? xxx

Hmmm...I don't take clothing requests and even if I did, pvc in this weather? No thanks. Think I'll pass on the bareback too!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 06 June 2016, 07:32:57 pm
Just had an email via AW from someone who wants me to squash his toy cars whilst telling him that he is too old for them now. Seen his copy and paste jobby on this thread a few times now! Told him to contact me via phone if he genuinely wants a booking... Not holding my breath!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 06 June 2016, 09:18:02 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 06 June 2016, 06:16:02 pm
Hi hannah

I love your look and would love to come see you if at all possible. I have some naughty fantasies I was wondering if you could help?

I would love it if you were dressed in pvc. I would love to run my hands over you as we kiss and feel the heat of your body through the smooth warmth of the pvc as it clings to your curves :).

If you don't have any pvc I have some I can bring . xx

I would love to kiss you all over then lick you and tease you till I can taste your creamy juices on my tongue as you cum.

Then I would work my way up your body kissing and caressing you until you could feel the tip of my bare cock kissing the lips of your wet sumptuous pussy as I ease deep into you and work my cock deep inside your warm wet body making me ache to cum deep in you and feel your juices running down the shaft of my stiff cock xx.

Do you think you would like to meet? xxx

Hmmm...I don't take clothing requests and even if I did, pvc in this weather? No thanks. Think I'll pass on the bareback too!

Lol, clothing requests and "I will make you cum", it never stops to amuse me ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 06 June 2016, 10:56:59 pm
yo jenni am destined 2 fuk u
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 06 June 2016, 11:14:02 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 06 June 2016, 10:56:59 pm
yo jenni am destined 2 fuk u

Oooh. Winner. I bet you chased down the street after him shouting: "I HAVE LOADZ OF BABEZ WANTING UR BDY AFTER I IZ DUN WIV IT!!!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 06 June 2016, 11:51:35 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 06 June 2016, 10:56:59 pm
yo jenni am destined 2 fuk u

Classy  ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LilMissKK on 07 June 2016, 02:09:52 am
Quote from: strawberryjam on 06 June 2016, 01:23:51 am
"Hi, it's Martin, that might sounds silly, but would you mind selling me to a Chinese takeaway?  "

WTF  ;D :FF :FF

This one is bonkers, cracked me up  ;D
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 07 June 2016, 09:52:10 am
Say yes then you could order him and eat him up.

Bet he'd get excited at the very thought.

(!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 07 June 2016, 01:55:26 pm
Idiot caller....

Him: Where are you?
Me: I tell him.
Him: Do you do outcall?
Me: No
Him: Can you do 2 hours?
Me: Yes
Him: Is the 2 hours just with you or do I get another girl aswell?
Me: This isn't a brothel, you clearly haven't read a word of my profile.

Idiot has the cheek to hang up on me lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 07 June 2016, 05:05:13 pm
"If I were a 6 inch tall man and you saw me on the floor what would you do?"

Still trying to figure out what that message means. Foot fetish? Squishing fetish? Both?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 07 June 2016, 05:08:39 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 07 June 2016, 05:05:13 pm
"If I were a 6 inch tall man and you saw me on the floor what would you do?"

Still trying to figure out what that message means. Foot fetish? Squishing fetish? Both?

Take his money and run  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 07 June 2016, 05:44:56 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 07 June 2016, 05:05:13 pm
"If I were a 6 inch tall man and you saw me on the floor what would you do?"

Still trying to figure out what that message means. Foot fetish? Squishing fetish? Both?

Reply: Get a straw and put it by you then blow down it quickly to see you fly away.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 07 June 2016, 10:14:14 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 07 June 2016, 05:44:56 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 07 June 2016, 05:05:13 pm
"If I were a 6 inch tall man and you saw me on the floor what would you do?"

Still trying to figure out what that message means. Foot fetish? Squishing fetish? Both?

Reply: Get a straw and put it by you then blow down it quickly to see you fly away.

Or if your a certain way inclined....you could snort him  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 08 June 2016, 01:20:36 am
Quote from: TrashAzn on 07 June 2016, 05:05:13 pm
"If I were a 6 inch tall man and you saw me on the floor what would you do?"

Still trying to figure out what that message means. Foot fetish? Squishing fetish? Both?

Giantess fetish.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 08 June 2016, 10:29:16 am
Quote from: amy on 06 June 2016, 01:16:06 pm
When he was contacting me he was called Phillip ::).
Is Phil now Martin? Haven't had texts for a while from him x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: latrice on 09 June 2016, 10:07:23 am
Email today:

 If you like to be excited in the position you choose I m yours I like to satisfy ladies anal at home not want money if you like pleasure in short time send message no offense I want just to make you happy in bed to feel pleaseure not for money just you feel good

How very kind of him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 09 June 2016, 10:58:20 am
What a Plain Dick.  Let's be honest. His cerebral cortex is totally fucked up  ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 09 June 2016, 03:11:32 pm
Quote from: latrice on 09 June 2016, 10:07:23 am
Email today:

 If you like to be excited in the position you choose I m yours I like to satisfy ladies anal at home not want money if you like pleasure in short time send message no offense I want just to make you happy in bed to feel pleaseure not for money just you feel good

How very kind of him.

"Pleasure" won't pay bills.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 09 June 2016, 03:44:48 pm
my friend peter is back today

"hi im peter could u put me on your kitchen side and rub cooking oil over me please

last time he wanted me to sel him to a takeaway wondering if peter is this phil guy?!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 09 June 2016, 05:24:55 pm
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 09 June 2016, 03:44:48 pm
my friend peter is back today

"hi im peter could u put me on your kitchen side and rub cooking oil over me please

last time he wanted me to sel him to a takeaway wondering if peter is this phil guy?!!

I guess he has a few names probably has a whole document to cut and paste messages from. He's like one of those old school nuisance trolls who spends his whole time spamming stupid things over and over. Very persistent too seems he's been around a long time don't even know what would drive people to keep doing the same thing for so long it's not like he's trying to scam people just sending weird dumb messages so not sure what he has to gain besides wasting somebodies time.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 09 June 2016, 06:42:09 pm
Him: could u come see me please my address [xxx] call me on [mobile] xxx
Me: Give me a call to make a booking x
Him: i have no cred at this min could u pls call me on [mobile] xxx pls
Him: please call me i just sent u my number xxx
Him: ive not got credit i wanto make a booking for 8 tonight my address [xxx] xxx
Me: If you don't have enough money for phone credit, you won't have enough for my fee.
Him: call me on [mobile]
Him: i can afford u i just cant be botherd to go 20 min up road lol pls ring babe xx

Yes god forbid you leave the house for 20 minutes you time wasting wanker  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 09 June 2016, 07:47:36 pm
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 09 June 2016, 03:44:48 pm
my friend peter is back today

"hi im peter could u put me on your kitchen side and rub cooking oil over me please

last time he wanted me to sel him to a takeaway wondering if peter is this phil guy?!!

He wants to be ate! Cooked and ate!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 09 June 2016, 08:43:38 pm
Sexual fetish for a cannibalism  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: K47 on 10 June 2016, 01:58:40 pm
"Hi

I am a 55yr old professional gent who would like to meet with you.

I keep myself in good shape as I go to the gym and am a keen cyclist.

I am interested in a passionate time together with lots of kissing, oral sex both way and bareback sex. I am happy to pay ?50 extra if you are happy to meet and also happy with my requirements.

Looking forward to hearing from you."

getting really sick of guys asking for bareback, it says on my profile I dont do bareback so please dont ask!! and they still ask..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 10 June 2016, 02:06:56 pm
Client contacts me in March sounding perfectly normal saying he's going to be in Glasgow on business for 5 days and would like to see me during that time.

Then last time he contacted me, he hung up as I answered.

Then today when I answered he hung up so I sent him a text saying that the last 2 times he's phoned me, he's hung up so I think he should find someone else in future.

Then this belter of a text comes through....

Hi my names Mark sorry for hunging up, I would just like to shag you today. Put your ass in the air and ride it hard from behind.

Total eejit  ::)

Oh and now I've just had an abusive text come through from him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 10 June 2016, 06:38:59 pm
Him: Do you do anal?
Me: Clearly it says I don't on my profile...
Him: How much extra for anal? You'd do it for extra wouldn't you?
Me: ?1 million
Him: Well clearly this isn't going anywhere fine I'll take my money elsewhere.


Preferably he'll pick somebody who offers what he wants next time. I always love when they mention money too like we are so desperate for their money we'll do anything to please them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 10 June 2016, 06:54:59 pm
Received these 8 texts last night;

I'm from town I'm based, 36 m married. And I'm very curious how a British woman can love a man.
I'm from Romania
I'm living in UK for 2 years
Clean..Lorry driver..Sensitive
I like you're skin..I believe you are soft. Feminine,.Horny
But Mabe you are not interested in a relationship..
You love the money
....

haha jog on loony tunes. Reminds me of that recent documentary " The Romanins are coming" they all think British woman are up for it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 10 June 2016, 07:18:19 pm
Quote from: Chatterly on 10 June 2016, 06:54:59 pm
Received these 8 texts last night;

I'm from town I'm based, 36 m married. And I'm very curious how a British woman can love a man.
I'm from Romania
I'm living in UK for 2 years
Clean..Lorry driver..Sensitive
I like you're skin..I believe you are soft. Feminine,.Horny
But Mabe you are not interested in a relationship..
You love the money
....

haha jog on loony tunes. Reminds me of that recent documentary " The Romanins are coming" they all think British woman are up for it.

Looking for "love" (he's looking for a freebie) on AW  :FF a bit sad but mostly stupid
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 10 June 2016, 08:42:12 pm
Quote from: strawberryjam on 10 June 2016, 07:18:19 pm


Looking for "love" (he's looking for a freebie) on AW  :FF a bit sad but mostly stupid

Mostly?  ;D ;D  Freebie Brigade!  Their logic not ours.  100% obscenely stupid  ::) >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 11 June 2016, 02:46:10 am
"You do OWO, that's fantastic. Do you offer any other services without condoms?"

"No, absolutely not."

"Ok. And what about your preferences to cocks?"

"Excuse me?"

"How do you like your cocks? Tiny, average, big?! Just asking cos mine is a beast."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 11 June 2016, 03:10:39 am
Quote from: Lolapops on 11 June 2016, 02:46:10 am
"You do OWO, that's fantastic. Do you offer any other services without condoms?"

"No, absolutely not."

"Ok. And what about your preferences to cocks?"

"Excuse me?"

"How do you like your cocks? Tiny, average, big?! Just asking cos mine is a beast."

"My preference? Clean and attached to a respectful client."

OR

"A beast? I'm a prostitute, not a zoo keeper."

(ok, yeah, I usually use the first one LOL)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 11 June 2016, 03:13:41 am
In all honesty, I couldn't hear him very well but the beast comment made me laugh. Do they not think we've seen it all before?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Teddy Bear on 11 June 2016, 06:04:45 am
"How much? Oooooh that's a bit expensive and I'm only a little boy so I don't think I can afford that.

Okay *goes to hang up when I hear...*

Maybe when I'm a big boy I will be able to book you babe.

*rolls eyes and CLICK*"

And this was after the school holidays.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 11 June 2016, 11:05:17 am
Via text.
Him:Would love to book you.
Me:Great.Give me a ring x
Him:(Via text  :FF)Quickly what are your rates?
Me:Quickly read my profile..
Him:Which ones your profile forgot who you are.
Me:Wow you would love to see me so much that you don't even know who you are contacting.Sorry I don't think this is happening.
Him:Haha well it might.
Ignore and delete.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 11 June 2016, 01:41:25 pm
Got this text:

Hi im Peter I know this sounds silly but could you sell me to a Chinese takeaway and keep the money you get for me please.


Silly, Peter?  Really.. Ya THINK?!  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 11 June 2016, 01:42:20 pm
I've just read the rest of the thread and can see that he's doing the rounds lmao.  Idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 11 June 2016, 02:06:23 pm
I think the next person who gets contacted by him should ask him if he realises just how knob headed that request is.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 11 June 2016, 03:20:43 pm
Texts off someone trying to tempt me into a 15 minute quickie, he has no idea of the price or services 'because his internet is low' whatever that means  ??? How could I resist when he then said he's 21 and really super hot hot hot!!

I politely declined no and no.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 11 June 2016, 03:54:58 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 11 June 2016, 02:06:23 pm
I think the next person who gets contacted by him should ask him if he realises just how knob headed that request is.

I'm sure he already knows that he's just an idiot who has far as I can tell has been spamming this stuff to escorts for some time now. Just another fruitloop who apparently has nothing else to do in their spare time
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 11 June 2016, 08:09:55 pm
Quote from: Lone-Wolf on 11 June 2016, 01:41:25 pm
Got this text:

Hi im Peter I know this sounds silly but could you sell me to a Chinese takeaway and keep the money you get for me please.


Silly, Peter?  Really.. Ya THINK?!  :o

Haha I had a lovely text from him  ;D :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Bentley on 11 June 2016, 08:29:25 pm
Omg I get that every few months.. I actually spoke to him one time and he was insistent!! Totally and utterly nuts!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cherryfcuk on 11 June 2016, 09:24:47 pm
Quote from: Miss Bentley on 11 June 2016, 08:29:25 pm
Omg I get that every few months.. I actually spoke to him one time and he was insistent!! Totally and utterly nuts!

He sounds like bad meat anyway
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 11 June 2016, 09:30:31 pm
Quote from: Miss Bentley on 11 June 2016, 08:29:25 pm
Omg I get that every few months.. I actually spoke to him one time and he was insistent!! Totally and utterly nuts!

I'm not surprised lol !  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 11 June 2016, 11:44:49 pm
tells me he misses me an wants to book but then after a few emails, asks to be reminded who i am..... cheers mate
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 12 June 2016, 12:28:14 am
Just switched my phone on and this text came through....

Hi baby, I want to fuck you now for 30 minutes. What's your address?

Hate being called baby.
Hate being contacted via text from strangers.
He wants to meet on my day off.
He wants to meet now when I don't take any bookings without prior notice.
He wants a 30 minute booking which I don't do.
And he wants my address when he doesn't have a booking with me and thinks I will just send him my address after he sends me such a stupid and crude message.

Who woulda thought that such a small message could be so wrong in every way.

Either it's a deliberate winde up looking for a reaction (which he won't get) or there are even more deranged people out there than I thought  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 13 June 2016, 10:23:47 am
Text: "Hi am I speaking to Katrina? Am Scott would you let me and my friend fck u in your ass at same time?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 13 June 2016, 10:37:15 am
And another starting off texting he wants watersports, I've told him that's fine, now he wants to pay extra for me to fart!

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 13 June 2016, 01:04:52 pm
Quote from: katrina on 13 June 2016, 10:37:15 am
And another starting off texting he wants watersports, I've told him that's fine, now he wants to pay extra for me to fart!

It would be awesome to get paid every time I peed or farted.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 13 June 2016, 01:37:10 pm
I've just had an email from a client, totally polite email but his username is Sawney Bean  ???

He names himself after a fucking cannibalistic mass murderer when contacting an escort about meeting with her in private.  :-[

No, no thanks.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 13 June 2016, 01:59:07 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 13 June 2016, 01:04:52 pm
Quote from: katrina on 13 June 2016, 10:37:15 am
And another starting off texting he wants watersports, I've told him that's fine, now he wants to pay extra for me to fart!

It would be awesome to get paid every time I peed or farted.


Yes I don't mind weeing on people for no charge extra because its something I need to do anyway  ;D


I replied to him saying sorry I can't fart on demand, he said "I'll pay a lot" So I said "Ok send me a ?40 vodafone top as a deposit to prove you're not a timewaster then bring ?200 with you for one hours booking"  He replied "Lol I'm not a timewaster meet me later" ty"  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 13 June 2016, 02:07:54 pm
Quote from: Kendra on 13 June 2016, 01:37:10 pm
I've just had an email from a client, totally polite email but his username is Sawney Bean  ???

He names himself after a fucking cannibalistic mass murderer when contacting an escort about meeting with her in private.  :-[

No, no thanks.


I think guys who make idiotic names like that for themselves do it as a little power trip because they want to think of us as frightened desperate little women  ::)  I'd humour him and say something like ooh yes I think we will suit each other because I have a bit of a biting fetish but I promise not to completely bite off your nipples and cock as long as you behave yourself  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 13 June 2016, 02:10:51 pm
Quote from: katrina on 13 June 2016, 02:07:54 pm
Quote from: Kendra on 13 June 2016, 01:37:10 pm
I've just had an email from a client, totally polite email but his username is Sawney Bean  ???

He names himself after a fucking cannibalistic mass murderer when contacting an escort about meeting with her in private.  :-[

No, no thanks.


I think guys who make idiotic names like that for themselves do it as a little power trip because they want to think of us as frightened desperate little women  ::)  I'd humour him and say something like ooh yes I think we will suit each other because I have a bit of a biting fetish but I promise not to completely bite off your nipples and cock as long as you behave yourself  ;D

His email had him telling me he was new to the whole scene and wasn't sure how to go about things, I just responded with changing his username from a cannibalistic murderer would be a good start.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 13 June 2016, 02:20:34 pm
Quote from: Kendra on 13 June 2016, 02:10:51 pm
Quote from: katrina on 13 June 2016, 02:07:54 pm
Quote from: Kendra on 13 June 2016, 01:37:10 pm


His email had him telling me he was new to the whole scene and wasn't sure how to go about things, I just responded with changing his username from a cannibalistic murderer would be a good start.

xx


Lets see if he takes your advice and changes it...I find a lot use the excuse of 'being new to all this' just so they can behave like twats.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 13 June 2016, 04:56:25 pm
I'll always remember one of my first outcall bookings, the guy paid and left me alone for a couple of minutes in his lounge whilst he went to the bathroom. He had a bookshelf full of books and I read a lot so I went to have a nosy at his books. 3 out of 5 shelves was full of books about famous serial killers and murder case books. Started to feel very uneasy. He came back and turned out to be a fantastic client and still a regular to this day, and we often have a laugh about the first meet where he walked in to the lounge to see me frozen in horror in front of the bookcase!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 13 June 2016, 05:36:04 pm
I've never heard of Sawney Bean so wouldn't have clocked anything about his username.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 13 June 2016, 05:38:04 pm
Just had this amazing email, I can't WAIT to meet this scammer totally genuine client.

AM MARK FROM UK,YOU CAN REACH ME
(+4470319065** ) I WILL NEED YOU
ON MY VACATION TOUR TO AFRICA BY NEXT MONTH  AND I WILL BE THERE
FOR 8DAYS, I WILL NEED YOU TO ESCORT ME TO AFRICA IN NIGERIA.I JUST
CHECK YOUR ADS OUT AND FOUND YOU SO COOL AND DECIDED PICK YOU .PLEASE
MAIL ME BACK IF YOU WANT TO GO WITH ME. I AM READY TO OFFER YOU A GOOD
SUM. HOPE 1,500 POUNDS PER DAY FOR ONE WEEK (8DAYS) IS OK. AND AN
UPFRONT WILL BE PAID TO YOU EVEN BEFORE YOU LEAVE YOUR STATE.ALL
NECESSARY DOCUMENT WILL BE ARRANGED BY ME SO FEEL FREE TO GET BACK TO
ME ASAP. LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING BACK FROM YOU. PLEASE GET BACK TO ME
ONLY IF YOU ARE WILLING TO GO WITH ME . PLEASE DO GET BACK TO ME ASAP
BECAUSE OF OTHER THINGS AT HAND BECAUSE AM ALWAYS BUSY.LOL  JUST MAIL
ME BACK OKAY

So Africa is in Nigeria now? Good to know  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 13 June 2016, 06:18:50 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 13 June 2016, 05:36:04 pm
I've never heard of Sawney Bean so wouldn't have clocked anything about his username.

Google it, creepy story of a Scottish guy in the 15th century that lived in a cave with his wife, had loads of kids who also had loads of kids though incest (fucked up family) that murdered and ate about 1000 people.

It's not clear whether it really happened or not but either way, it's a creepy tale and I wouldn't wanna meet anyone that chose that of all names as a username.

xx 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 13 June 2016, 07:56:26 pm
A 'female' has been texting me since last week asking if I see women on their own, I've ignored as got a feeling its a bloke being an idiot. Eventually I replied saying no sorry I don't. 'She' then said "Ok sorry to disturb you xx" I replied "No probs". Then 'she' texts again saying "Its a shame would have given you something to remember for a very long time lol xxx" So I said "What like?" 'She' replied !Would have given you an evening to remember and pleasure like no other xx"  ???

Right, so I'm really missing out here  ::) If I wanted to have such an amazing evening of pleasure with a woman surely I would just take myself off to a gay/lesbian club and CHOOSE someone who I really fancy!!!! Any genuine woman would realise that so the stupid idiot gave himself away, so mant bloody morons around lately   ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 13 June 2016, 08:20:53 pm
Quote from: katrina on 13 June 2016, 07:56:26 pm
A 'female' has been texting me since last week asking if I see women on their own, I've ignored as got a feeling its a bloke being an idiot. Eventually I replied saying no sorry I don't. 'She' then said "Ok sorry to disturb you xx" I replied "No probs". Then 'she' texts again saying "Its a shame would have given you something to remember for a very long time lol xxx" So I said "What like?" 'She' replied !Would have given you an evening to remember and pleasure like no other xx"  ???

Right, so I'm really missing out here  ::) If I wanted to have such an amazing evening of pleasure with a woman surely I would just take myself off to a gay/lesbian club and CHOOSE someone who I really fancy!!!! Any genuine woman would realise that so the stupid idiot gave himself away, so mant bloody morons around lately   ::)

I think the same "woman" contacted me on WhatsApp  :FF
It's a bloke obviously
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 13 June 2016, 09:11:15 pm
Quote from: Kendra on 13 June 2016, 06:18:50 pm
Google it, creepy story of a Scottish guy in the 15th century that lived in a cave with his wife, had loads of kids who also had loads of kids though incest (fucked up family) that murdered and ate about 1000 people.

It's not clear whether it really happened or not but either way, it's a creepy tale and I wouldn't wanna meet anyone that chose that of all names as a username.

God, me neither. In what universe must that have a seemed like a good idea?

I can see how people from outside Scotland maybe wouldn't be familiar with the story, but for their benefit it would be a bit like getting an email from somebody calling themselves Fred West, or Dennis Nilsen, or something.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jill on 13 June 2016, 11:47:46 pm
Quote from: Kendra on 13 June 2016, 06:18:50 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 13 June 2016, 05:36:04 pm
I've never heard of Sawney Bean so wouldn't have clocked anything about his username.

Google it, creepy story of a Scottish guy in the 15th century that lived in a cave with his wife, had loads of kids who also had loads of kids though incest (fucked up family) that murdered and ate about 1000 people.

It's not clear whether it really happened or not but either way, it's a creepy tale and I wouldn't wanna meet anyone that chose that of all names as a username.

xx

My god that makes even our most annoying clients sound like saints!  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 14 June 2016, 12:02:05 am
Quote from: Jill on 13 June 2016, 11:47:46 pm
Quote from: Kendra on 13 June 2016, 06:18:50 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 13 June 2016, 05:36:04 pm
I've never heard of Sawney Bean so wouldn't have clocked anything about his username.

Google it, creepy story of a Scottish guy in the 15th century that lived in a cave with his wife, had loads of kids who also had loads of kids though incest (fucked up family) that murdered and ate about 1000 people.

It's not clear whether it really happened or not but either way, it's a creepy tale and I wouldn't wanna meet anyone that chose that of all names as a username.

xx

My god that makes even our most annoying clients sound like saints!  :)

Yeah that horrible scary movie Hills Have Eyes was based on the Sawney Bean story x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 14 June 2016, 02:41:34 am
Quote from: BJC on 13 June 2016, 04:56:25 pm
I'll always remember one of my first outcall bookings, the guy paid and left me alone for a couple of minutes in his lounge whilst he went to the bathroom. He had a bookshelf full of books and I read a lot so I went to have a nosy at his books. 3 out of 5 shelves was full of books about famous serial killers and murder case books. Started to feel very uneasy. He came back and turned out to be a fantastic client and still a regular to this day, and we often have a laugh about the first meet where he walked in to the lounge to see me frozen in horror in front of the bookcase!

I've got to giggle at the serial killer thing. My two pets are named after a fictional cannibal and a serial killing clown. I never usually mention having them as I keep them in another room but I've taken a few bookings from a new client recently and during a booking he heard a noise that I had to explain it...the look on his face was priceless when I mentioned their names. Thankfully, he's spent enough time with me to know I'm a delight and he's met the boys too and no longer fears for his safety  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 15 June 2016, 08:42:43 am
Phone calls & texts from someone wanting an outcall at 6.30am this morning  ::)

I don't work 24 hours or do outcalls.

He then sends me a text asking my name  ::)

Moron alert!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 15 June 2016, 09:37:59 am
Quote from: Lolapops on 14 June 2016, 02:41:34 am
My two pets are named after a fictional cannibal and a serial killing clown.

Are your critters literally called Hannibal Lecter and Wayne Gacy, full name and all? That's actually pretty hilarious. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 15 June 2016, 12:33:40 pm
I had a booking request from Ted Bundy on AW  :FF ;D
Meeting didn't happen  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 15 June 2016, 05:29:57 pm
I got one from the Gladstone Screwer. It sounds awful doesn't it. I know it's not the name of a serial killer (as I googled it haha) but it still sounds frightening to me the wuss that I am.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 15 June 2016, 05:43:48 pm
Had this earlier

Him: Are you free now?

Me: Yes but it does need to be now (as in you need to be here within 5 minutes).

Him: (8 minutes later): OK send address

Me: Sorry but best leaving it as your not going to get here in time.

Him: But I'm in X (which is about 55 minutes drive from where I am  :FF)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 15 June 2016, 06:00:31 pm
Creepy sounding old codger on the phone earlier...'Are you a naughty girl?' Been a long time since I was a girl...yack,just yack!!! :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 15 June 2016, 06:25:28 pm
txt recieved " can i do a 30 mins at 6pm"
me " yes sure do you know rate"

him " ive never rated anyone"

me" i mean do you know my rate/price

him " of course its ?6,20 plus 2 roll ups innit  :FF

after telling him hes blocked ( i hadnt) he gets my rate corect saying it was a joke and i need to lighten up

um how about fuck off cock
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 15 June 2016, 06:48:15 pm
Hey, I'm just round the corner from you in BXX and was wondering if you wanted to have a fuck? I'm 21 years old and I'd love you to ride my cock wearing some stockings, let me know if you want to meet up and have a shag. I think we'd be incredible in bed together xxx

I just roll my eyes now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 15 June 2016, 08:40:15 pm
"Hi Kat, I've seen you before its (his name) you know we were talking about arranging a 3 some with your friend, can you sort it?"

Me: "Yes when are you thinking of, I'll see if I can arrange it with my friend (her name), When for and how long for?"

Him"Yes I can let you know soon"

Me: "Ok just let me know and I'll ask her"

Him: "I'm in Barnsley, wanted now have you got a friend there?"

Me: "No what gave you that impression? I already said that my friend works in Sheffield"

Him: "Oh I was just hoping that you did Kat that's all"

 ??? :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 15 June 2016, 10:58:26 pm
I have decided to reply to those rude one liner texts form men you have never met with a cheery reply. Today I got:

Him: What size are your boobs?
Me: Hello! How are you today?
Him: I do apologise, that's how I should have greeted you. Sorry about that. I'm very well thank you.

Went on to have a very polite reasonable exchange of texts. I haven't decided if I'll take his booking as yet, he said he'd ring next week to confirm...

I usually just ignore the texts like the one above.  It's a bit of an experiment as I wonder if sometimes actually OK ish men send texts like this and they just need a reminder we are human beings.... Am not holding breath though!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 16 June 2016, 12:55:12 am
Quote from: Wailing Banshee on 15 June 2016, 10:58:26 pm
I have decided to reply to those rude one liner texts form men you have never met with a cheery reply. Today I got:

Him: What size are your boobs?
Me: Hello! How are you today?
Him: I do apologise, that's how I should have greeted you. Sorry about that. I'm very well thank you.

Went on to have a very polite reasonable exchange of texts. I haven't decided if I'll take his booking as yet, he said he'd ring next week to confirm...

I usually just ignore the texts like the one above.  It's a bit of an experiment as I wonder if sometimes actually OK ish men send texts like this and they just need a reminder we are human beings.... Am not holding breath though!

He didn't respond with a stupid comment and he didn't give you any cheek not to mention he apologised and realised where he went wrong  so I would say that one sounds good enough at this stage to meet with him xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 16 June 2016, 03:05:56 am
Quote from: The_Lynx on 15 June 2016, 09:37:59 am
Quote from: Lolapops on 14 June 2016, 02:41:34 am
My two pets are named after a fictional cannibal and a serial killing clown.

Are your critters literally called Hannibal Lecter and Wayne Gacy, full name and all? That's actually pretty hilarious. ;D

I only refer to them as Dr Lecter and Mr Gacy. Dr Lecter is as bloodthirsty as his namesake! Mr Gacy, however, total cutie.  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: latrice on 16 June 2016, 03:27:13 pm
- Hi, where are you located?
- East, but I do outcalls only.
- Where is outcall? Is it central London?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 16 June 2016, 03:43:08 pm
Yes I have had several idiots ask where I am based and when I have told them Leeds they have asked what part of London that is in... :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 16 June 2016, 05:14:27 pm
Quote from: latrice on 16 June 2016, 03:27:13 pm
- Hi, where are you located?
- East, but I do outcalls only.
- Where is outcall? Is it central London?

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 16 June 2016, 06:35:22 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 16 June 2016, 03:43:08 pm
Yes I have had several idiots ask where I am based and when I have told them Leeds they have asked what part of London that is in... :FF

 ;D ;D He never heard of Leeds?  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: anushka on 16 June 2016, 09:11:57 pm
Text received at 4.30 am:
" I will be passing by in 25 min and was wondering if you'd do a massage for ?25 "(my fee is ?60).
Five minutes later from the same number :
"Yes or no?"
Only found it when turned my work phone on at 9 am.
Don't even know if I should get annoyed or just have a good laugh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 16 June 2016, 11:04:05 pm
Quote from: anushka on 16 June 2016, 09:11:57 pm
Text received at 4.30 am:
" I will be passing by in 25 min and was wondering if you'd do a massage for ?25 "(my fee is ?60).
Five minutes later from the same number :
"Yes or no?"
Only found it when turned my work phone on at 9 am.
Don't even know if I should get annoyed or just have a good laugh.

It's complete ignorance like that, that really gets my knickers in a twist.

Some of them think we are all 24 hour robots with nothing else going on in life besides sitting around 24/7 in our underwear just waiting on the phone going. We don't need to eat or sleep, we just need to be available for them at all times.

Thoughtless eejits  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissFlint on 17 June 2016, 12:05:21 am
A client called in advance to book for 6:30pm and asked the most annoying questions like would he be the first client of the day at 6:30pm?!


What services didn't I offer and was I really the girl in the picture. I just referred him back to my profile and said it was unlikely he'd be the first client of the day at 6:30pm!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 17 June 2016, 06:28:04 am
Asking me what I *don't * do does my head in. If it's not mentioned as a service in my advertising, I don't do it.

Yesterday I got an email asking me for an hour booking. "I don't even want to get my cock out. I just want a lot of passionate French kissing and to finger your pussy and arse. Does that sound like fun?"

No. That sounds like the opposite of fun.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 17 June 2016, 03:59:12 pm
Strong Irish accent:

"Hi lovely do you see travellers?"

Me: "Yes course I do"

Him "Do you do anal?"

Me: "No sorry"

Him: "Will you use a strap n on me?"

Me: "Yes course I will"

Him "Have you got parking for my truck?"

Me: "Yes as long its not too big?"

Him "Its a transit van"

Me: "Yes that's fine"

Booking arranged for an hour at 3.30...He then does a no show  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 17 June 2016, 04:29:36 pm
Phone rings:
Do you do anal?
[Hello to you, too...] No.
Will you do it without protection?
No!
How much is half an hour?

Give me strength.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 17 June 2016, 05:28:03 pm
Well my 3.30 no show rang at 4.45  ???


The chances of me ever even speaking to him let alone accepting a booking are nil, the twat.


I wouldn't have minded if he had let me know he was going to be late, but more annoyed because I've been trying to get out to the shop to buy a top up for my phone number on aw and couldn't because I waited for him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 17 June 2016, 06:49:13 pm
Quote from: Kay on 17 June 2016, 04:29:36 pm
Phone rings:
Do you do anal?
[Hello to you, too...] No.
Will you do it without protection?
No!
How much is half an hour?

Give me strength.
Quote from: katrina on 17 June 2016, 05:28:03 pm
Well my 3.30 no show rang at 4.45  ???


The chances of me ever even speaking to him let alone accepting a booking are nil, the twat.


I wouldn't have minded if he had let me know he was going to be late, but more annoyed because I've been trying to get out to the shop to buy a top up for my phone number on aw and couldn't because I waited for him.

Do people still use credit phones? Lol I get unlimited calls and texts to any number for about ?45 a month and that's including the latest iPhone xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Irishminx on 17 June 2016, 07:19:49 pm
Received on AW 5 mins ago "would u visit me in xx (location)

I replied I'm sorry I need notice for outcalls (and I'm half way across the country from location)

Message back but I'm looking for 2 hrs outcall

I Google distance it's a 6hr round trip, so yeah I'm gonna take 8 hrs out of my day for a 2hr booking  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 17 June 2016, 07:24:22 pm
I do for both personal and work. I rarely use my phone except for work so I'm not fussed about the model and don't spend more than ?10 a month for my personal phone and my work phone can see ?10 last two/three months. I was tired of paying for my contract every month and not really making use of it. It suits me not to have one but I guess it depends how you use it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 17 June 2016, 07:55:57 pm
Quote from: Lolapops on 17 June 2016, 07:24:22 pm
I do for both personal and work. I rarely use my phone except for work so I'm not fussed about the model and don't spend more than ?10 a month for my personal phone and my work phone can see ?10 last two/three months. I was tired of paying for my contract every month and not really making use of it. It suits me not to have one but I guess it depends how you use it.

So do I, at least for work :). I don't use my work phone to make calls and I get triple credit plus a load of free texts when I top up, so sticking 15 quid on it usually lasts me about six weeks. I only bother with the contract one because it's cheap at about 12 quid a month, and I use the data a lot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 17 June 2016, 08:10:08 pm
Quote from: Lolapops on 17 June 2016, 07:24:22 pm
I do for both personal and work. I rarely use my phone except for work so I'm not fussed about the model and don't spend more than ?10 a month for my personal phone and my work phone can see ?10 last two/three months. I was tired of paying for my contract every month and not really making use of it. It suits me not to have one but I guess it depends how you use it.

I have lots of regular clients that like to send texts where we're on "friends" terms so I definitely need lots of texts, I rarely use my phone to make calls but at least I know it's available whenever I need it and I personally feel that a good smart phone is an essential tool for this job with lots of memory space, blocking facility etc etc etc.

Each to their own though, what works for one of us won't work for another.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlaqHarlot on 17 June 2016, 08:14:38 pm
Received a funny one this afternoon "Hi sexy bb can I stick my jumbo hotdog in your bun when u free xxx" I literally laughed out loud, it did make me giggle, but no thanks! Hahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 17 June 2016, 08:20:52 pm
Quote from: Kendra on 17 June 2016, 06:49:13 pm


Do people still use credit phones? Lol I get unlimited calls and texts to any number for about ?45 a month and that's including the latest iPhone xx
Yes I use payg phones for work, due to having a few stalkers early on I didn't want my numbers registered to my home address in any way. I have an iPhone for personal use on a contract but even then I never use it all but end up getting extra charges somehow put on, so I'm planning on ending that too when it expires next month,  I hardly ever have long phone conversations even with family and friends,  I prefer to talk in person or use WhatsApp.


The reason I needed to go to the shop earlier today was because my phone number wasn't showing due to my credits running out (I mostly rely on private gallery sales to pay for that, and needed to top it up with credits, so the consequences of waiting for my 3.30 made me unavailable for any other potential clients, if you see what I mean  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 17 June 2016, 08:21:22 pm
Quote from: Kendra on 17 June 2016, 08:10:08 pm
I personally feel that a good smart phone is an essential tool for this job with lots of memory space, blocking facility etc

I'd definitely agree with that, although whether I'd include an iphone in that is debatable. If you've found a way to block numbers with one then that's some progress at least though, as I'm pretty sure they didn't used to do it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 17 June 2016, 08:24:45 pm
Quote from: amy on 17 June 2016, 08:21:22 pm
Quote from: Kendra on 17 June 2016, 08:10:08 pm
I personally feel that a good smart phone is an essential tool for this job with lots of memory space, blocking facility etc

I'd definitely agree with that, although whether I'd include an iphone in that is debatable. If you've found a way to block numbers with one then that's some progress at least though, as I'm pretty sure they didn't used to do it.


I've always been given the impression that using an iPhone for escorting not a good idea due to privacy issues?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 17 June 2016, 08:27:31 pm
Quote from: amy on 17 June 2016, 08:21:22 pm
Quote from: Kendra on 17 June 2016, 08:10:08 pm
I personally feel that a good smart phone is an essential tool for this job with lots of memory space, blocking facility etc

I'd definitely agree with that, although whether I'd include an iphone in that is debatable. If you've found a way to block numbers with one then that's some progress at least though, as I'm pretty sure they didn't used to do it.

Both my phones are Microsoft Windows phones, the older model I use for personal use as doesn't have the blocking facility but the newer ones do. I'm almost always connected to wifi and have my iPad & laptop but I'm certain without one or the other I'd likely invest in a better phone and a contract again but this works for me at the min.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 17 June 2016, 08:31:27 pm
Quote from: Irisherin27 on 17 June 2016, 07:19:49 pm
Received on AW 5 mins ago "would u visit me in xx (location)

I replied I'm sorry I need notice for outcalls (and I'm half way across the country from location)

Message back but I'm looking for 2 hrs outcall

I Google distance it's a 6hr round trip, so yeah I'm gonna take 8 hrs out of my day for a 2hr booking  :FF


You could always jump in your helicopter, I mean he is SO important (the silly twit lol)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 17 June 2016, 09:57:46 pm
Quote from: amy on 17 June 2016, 08:21:22 pm
Quote from: Kendra on 17 June 2016, 08:10:08 pm
I personally feel that a good smart phone is an essential tool for this job with lots of memory space, blocking facility etc

I'd definitely agree with that, although whether I'd include an iphone in that is debatable. If you've found a way to block numbers with one then that's some progress at least though, as I'm pretty sure they didn't used to do it.

Your absolutely right, it was only about 3 years ago that the iPhone got a blocking facility x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 17 June 2016, 09:59:00 pm
Quote from: katrina on 17 June 2016, 08:24:45 pm
Quote from: amy on 17 June 2016, 08:21:22 pm
Quote from: Kendra on 17 June 2016, 08:10:08 pm
I personally feel that a good smart phone is an essential tool for this job with lots of memory space, blocking facility etc

I'd definitely agree with that, although whether I'd include an iphone in that is debatable. If you've found a way to block numbers with one then that's some progress at least though, as I'm pretty sure they didn't used to do it.


I've always been given the impression that using an iPhone for escorting not a good idea due to privacy issues?

My iPhone has no connection what so ever to my personal iPhone, completely different Apple ID's x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 17 June 2016, 11:42:44 pm
IPhones can block numbers but not calls from withheld numbers.

If you block a twat on iPhone, the call rings once and goes to voicemail. Clever twats know to call back on withheld (which can't be blocked) and note that it rings longer.

Whereas on an Android, you can block both, and it will always behave the same.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 18 June 2016, 08:02:41 am
I received this email today at 5am



Hi. hope this finds you well. You did say a little persistence may be required!

I'm an educated, articulate, creative guy who seldom uses this site. Like you I'm quite discerning so only tend to use it for something special, maybe once or twice a year.

I'm keen to explore a scenario with you, one that I hope will fuel your imagination and maybe peak your dominant side?

Simply, it's an outcall, but the difference is that from a time agreed with you, I'll already be tied to the bed when you arrive.
I'd leave the front door unlocked and you'd just let yourself in and find me in the bedroom. House would be otherwise empty.

The thing for me is being exposed and vulnerable, cuffed to the bed, waiting for you to come, listening for the sound of a car or footsteps on the path, not knowing when you will come, and what you will do!

What you choose to do over the next couple of hours is totally up to you. I'll be restrained, and yours to tease and abuse within agreed limits. It doesn't have to involve any relief for me. Again that would be your decision. At the end, if you wish, you could just leave me as you found me.

There are obviously some details to make the scenario sparkle but I won't bore you now. Let me know if you fancy in principle and we'll go from there. I'm looking at sometime from June 28 to Mid July.

Thanks for reading. Really hope we can make it happen. If it's not for you, would you mind replying briefly to say thanks, but no thanks?



Yeah it will be no thanks from me  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tinkerbell on 18 June 2016, 01:12:12 pm
Quote from: ladyinred on 18 June 2016, 08:02:41 am
I received this email today at 5am



Hi. hope this finds you well. You did say a little persistence may be required!

I'm an educated, articulate, creative guy who seldom uses this site. Like you I'm quite discerning so only tend to use it for something special, maybe once or twice a year.

I'm keen to explore a scenario with you, one that I hope will fuel your imagination and maybe peak your dominant side?

Simply, it's an outcall, but the difference is that from a time agreed with you, I'll already be tied to the bed when you arrive.
I'd leave the front door unlocked and you'd just let yourself in and find me in the bedroom. House would be otherwise empty.

The thing for me is being exposed and vulnerable, cuffed to the bed, waiting for you to come, listening for the sound of a car or footsteps on the path, not knowing when you will come, and what you will do!

What you choose to do over the next couple of hours is totally up to you. I'll be restrained, and yours to tease and abuse within agreed limits. It doesn't have to involve any relief for me. Again that would be your decision. At the end, if you wish, you could just leave me as you found me.

There are obviously some details to make the scenario sparkle but I won't bore you now. Let me know if you fancy in principle and we'll go from there. I'm looking at sometime from June 28 to Mid July.

Thanks for reading. Really hope we can make it happen. If it's not for you, would you mind replying briefly to say thanks, but no thanks?



Yeah it will be no thanks from me  ;D

'What you choose to do over the next couple of hours is up to you.'

Great, I'll go shopping with the money you've just paid me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 18 June 2016, 03:15:37 pm
^^

So much marshmallow speak. I got to "I'm educated" and it was a struggle to read anything else. If this was in my inbox I would have deleted at that point. None of this is relevant it's useless padding. All this was probably written while wanking to himself. Purposely leaves a long time before he wants the actual booking so he can discuss further with essay sized emails all written while wanking.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 18 June 2016, 10:10:16 pm
God sake. Just say to him 'you want a shag? Or not? End of'

That'd get rid of him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 20 June 2016, 03:49:36 am


I'm an educated, articulate, creative guy who seldom uses this site. Like you I'm quite discerning so only tend to use it for something special, maybe once or twice a year.

I'm keen to explore a scenario with you, one that I hope will fuel your imagination and maybe peak
Quote from: Tinkerbell on 18 June 2016, 01:12:12 pm
Quote from: ladyinred on 18 June 2016, 08:02:41 am


He is so articulate and educated that he's made a mistake. Piqued - is what he should of put. Not "peak" (your imagination).
I received this email today at 5am



Hi. hope this finds you well. You did say a little persistence may be required!

I'm an educated, articulate, creative guy who seldom uses this site. Like you I'm quite discerning so only tend to use it for something special, maybe once or twice a year.

I'm keen to explore a scenario with you, one that I hope will fuel your imagination and maybe peak your dominant side?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 20 June 2016, 03:51:02 am
Quote came out wrong!

He put "peak" instead of piqued. So not that educated and articulate after all
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 20 June 2016, 03:31:30 pm
Quote from: KinkyVixen on 20 June 2016, 03:51:02 am
Quote came out wrong!

He put "peak" instead of piqued. So not that educated and articulate after all

They never really are it's a common TW thing to act like they are more interesting and educated because they feel we'll think "Oh he seems like an honourable and gentlemanly chap surely nothing can go wrong."

What really happens is all sorts of alarm bells ring and now if I see an essay sized email I'm not even going to read it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 21 June 2016, 08:45:44 pm
Texts from someone who wanted an outcall to his hotel where there is no parking, and I didn't like the sound of him anyway (gut feeling) and the way he was asking how the hour 'wouldn't be rushed'  ::) Anyway when he confirmed this morning I had time to think so texted to say sorry I can't make it.

Him: "Oh do you have a colleague"

No reply from me.

Him: "Or can you make it tonight?"

Me: "No sorry I don't want the booking"

Him: "What do you suggest? A friend or tomorrow night?"

FFs why can't *some* idiots just get the message that we don't HAVE to accept everyone who calls and I was certainly not going to pimp out any other escorts to someone that I won't see anyway  ??? :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lulu7 on 21 June 2016, 09:09:41 pm
Lol Katrina that is a huge pet peeve of mine.

It always makes me giggle. I'll reject them and they'll either act like a) I never rejected them and the booking is going ahead as planned or b) that they're the ones who decided not to see me

I will reject a booking. Then they'll message me and be like "I no longer want to book you, you rude bitch, I will never book you. You are not good enough for me. It's not you rejecting me!!! I am rejecting you!!"

I always want to tell them that's not quite how rejection works.  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 22 June 2016, 11:03:54 am
I woke up to this one :

Hello slut, give me your number and I'll show you a good time
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 22 June 2016, 11:06:47 am
Quote from: lulu7 on 21 June 2016, 09:09:41 pm
Lol Katrina that is a huge pet peeve of mine.

It always makes me giggle. I'll reject them and they'll either act like a) I never rejected them and the booking is going ahead as planned or b) that they're the ones who decided not to see me

I will reject a booking. Then they'll message me and be like "I no longer want to book you, you rude bitch, I will never book you. You are not good enough for me. It's not you rejecting me!!! I am rejecting you!!"

I always want to tell them that's not quite how rejection works.  ???

That one tends to work the same outside of escorting too it's just a face saving technique like if a guy asked you out in a club and you turn him down he's probably going to act like you aren't even good enough for him despite him making his best efforts to take you home just moments ago.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 22 June 2016, 01:48:22 pm
What a lovely email  ;D :FF

AW nickname james110110110

Hi,

I have an offer for you (ONLY if you are independent escort). I?d like to offer you photo shoot at your place (home, flat, garden or even outside). I don?t ask you about money. Instead of pictures I ask you for some time with you in your bed and your service, some good time and fun for both ;)

In my opinion good pictures on escorts websites are the key! First few seconds on your profile and your pictures are the most important. Good pictures of your beauty will bring you more clients and its not a secret.You and your lovely body deserve for good quality pictures.

I?m not the PRO photographer because I don?t want to be pro. I have about 10 years of experience, I finished many workshops and I think that I know how to show something/somobody on the pic.
I know really well photoshop but I?m not that person who change shape of your nose or body. Necessary things..

I?m so flexible. We can take a lot of pictures, different angles, clothes, lingerie, toys, positions. We could take some pictures even during our fun (if you need that kind of pic) when you are on me or you play with my.. it?s only up too youu..

and don't worry about descretion.

info about me: 28yo, white, slim body 68kg

remember.. I don?t have to accept and agree with my offer. It?s only my offer.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 22 June 2016, 07:15:50 pm
I get emails all the time from "photographers" telling me how their pictures will bring me much more work assuming of course I'm sitting on my arse all day with no clients and not taking into consideration that perhaps I don't want a revolving door. Eejits!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 22 June 2016, 09:21:12 pm
Hi Hannah can you do a quickie outside?


No I don't  think I can you prick.

Seriously losing the will to live with the amount of idiots I'm getting recently.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 24 June 2016, 02:47:34 pm
Eejit phones me and hangs up as I answer.

Phones back today, I answer and he's heavy breathing down the phone while asking me stupid questions such as....are you really from Scotland?

No I'm from fucking France you idiot!!

If my profile ain't clear enough about my nationality then you'd think my accent was?

Jeeez if I wasn't going on holiday, I would call today a right off. I've had nothing but idiots on the phone all day so far.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 24 June 2016, 02:56:52 pm
"Hi bbz, I want u all nite long"

Nah.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 24 June 2016, 03:27:41 pm
oh yes its fuckwit Friday

So far my 2pm booking ( new client) was a no show, okay he is now blocked

 I have been asked out for a drink by a never seen before 51 year old single man living in the village I work from ( I don't see locals)
When I declined he said sure why not give it a try
I explained I was not a dating service, he obviously had me confused with one
He said nope , he just wanted to take me for a drink ( I dont socialise ever with punters, and nor do I drink when working)
I said my husband was finding the whole situation funny, and not to text me again, he hasn't lol

3rd booking either got cut off or hung up on me mid chat, now he rings to saw he ran out of credit and was close by, yeah and I am eating my dinner lol tough luck - I assumed he didn't want the booking when he didn't call back

Some arsehole is ringing me on a previously blocked number and then on a private number ( both are blocked)

Not one damn genuine booking all day  grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlaqHarlot on 24 June 2016, 04:28:09 pm
My tolerance levels are low today, I'm in an annoyed mood and I'm counting down the days til I go on holiday next week.

I had a client booked two weeks in advance for last Saturday, he cancelled saying his partner has left him and he's sad and I believed it, since I've seen him before, a day later they are apparently back together and she's going to Portigual for a week from yesterday.

Then contacts me again for a booking for next Tuesday, changes the duration of the booking three times, ends up booking for three hours then says he has loads to pay this week so can we do two hours with discount I said no. He agrees to have the three hours, then today tells me his partner is coming back from Portugal two days early because she "misses him" so he's cancelling. So she books an all inclusive holiday to Portigual and decides after ONE day that she's going to come home on Tuesday because she misses her man? I don't think so! Told him not to contact me again, he then says "I still wanna fuck you, I'm very sorry"

It angers me that they feel the need to mess us about, he obviously blatantly lied for what reason? I don't know, it's just annoying as I've got so much business I'm turning down and could've easily booked a regular in instead who asked to see me.

I can't wait to get away and sit on a beach with a very strong cocktail and not have to look at AW!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 24 June 2016, 05:54:32 pm
Quote from: Kendra on 22 June 2016, 07:15:50 pm
I get emails all the time from "photographers" telling me how their pictures will bring me much more work assuming of course I'm sitting on my arse all day with no clients and not taking into consideration that perhaps I don't want a revolving door. Eejits!!

I have lost count of the many clients, both new and regulars who are amateur photographers and can they take pics blah blah blah. 

Even on fetlife where i share my weird personal stuff, i get guys wanting me to be their 'muse' (as one guy said).  Twonks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 25 June 2016, 06:36:58 am
Somebody rang on the mobile yesterday 'Can I sit on your face?' no hello or anything first just straight into that!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 25 June 2016, 08:47:33 am
Quote from: DesignerWhore on 24 June 2016, 04:28:09 pm
My tolerance levels are low today, I'm in an annoyed mood and I'm counting down the days til I go on holiday next week.

I had a client booked two weeks in advance for last Saturday, he cancelled saying his partner has left him and he's sad and I believed it, since I've seen him before, a day later they are apparently back together and she's going to Portigual for a week from yesterday.

Then contacts me again for a booking for next Tuesday, changes the duration of the booking three times, ends up booking for three hours then says he has loads to pay this week so can we do two hours with discount I said no. He agrees to have the three hours, then today tells me his partner is coming back from Portugal two days early because she "misses him" so he's cancelling. So she books an all inclusive holiday to Portigual and decides after ONE day that she's going to come home on Tuesday because she misses her man? I don't think so! Told him not to contact me again, he then says "I still wanna fuck you, I'm very sorry"

It angers me that they feel the need to mess us about, he obviously blatantly lied for what reason? I don't know, it's just annoying as I've got so much business I'm turning down and could've easily booked a regular in instead who asked to see me.

I can't wait to get away and sit on a beach with a very strong cocktail and not have to look at AW!

This is exactly how I felt yesterday, I don't know if it's cause it was payday or what but my phone drove me utterly bonkers.

And I'm also going on holiday next week lol.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: latrice on 25 June 2016, 09:42:50 am
"hi, can I order?"

I'm running a takeaway now, apparently.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 25 June 2016, 09:49:10 am
Quote from: Lushblossom on 25 June 2016, 06:36:58 am
Somebody rang on the mobile yesterday 'Can I sit on your face?' no hello or anything first just straight into that!!

That's a giveaway.   I get messages asking "where is your incall?" without "hello", nothing.    You can be sure someone is probably very immature. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 25 June 2016, 09:58:01 am
Quote from: newbieNW on 25 June 2016, 09:49:10 am
That's a giveaway.   I get messages asking "where is your incall?" without "hello", nothing.    You can be sure someone is probably very immature.

I get there "you available" all the time on the phone without a hello, I just say no every time.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 25 June 2016, 10:14:07 am
Quote from: Kendra on 25 June 2016, 09:58:01 am
I get there "you available" all the time on the phone without a hello, I just say no every time.


Similar to rude motorists who seem to think being behind the wheel of a car gives them some sort of right to be inconsiderate until you both end up facing each other at the lights ha ha


Manners cost nothing and take no effort at all,  the ones who don't have any always lose out in the end, fools.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 25 June 2016, 12:35:02 pm
Text just received: Hi there I have a fantasy I want a lady to walk around my town with me at night carrying me over her shoulder I live in Stoke please text me if interested I'm looking for regular I'm genuine.


What does he think I am the incredible hulk lol  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 25 June 2016, 09:38:40 pm
lol I think he has mummy issues Katrina. Amazonian woman fetish?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 25 June 2016, 11:41:01 pm
Quote from: Chatterly on 25 June 2016, 09:38:40 pm
lol I think he has mummy issues Katrina. Amazonian woman fetish?

Lift & carry fetish.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 26 June 2016, 04:23:43 pm
It would certainly be a laugh! I'd probably get the money then chuck him in the nearest hedge.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 26 June 2016, 10:38:10 pm
[quote author >:( ;D=katrina link=topic=1637.msg252353#msg252353 date=1466854502]
Text just received: Hi there I have a fantasy I want a lady to walk around my town with me at night carrying me over her shoulder I live in Stoke please text me if interested I'm looking for regular I'm genuine.


What does he think I am the incredible hulk lol  ???
[/quote]

 ;D ;D  Block.... :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 28 June 2016, 10:22:33 am
Quote from: Shewolf on 26 June 2016, 04:23:43 pm
It would certainly be a laugh! I'd probably get the money then chuck him in the nearest hedge.

Ha ha that's my idea of fun  ;D


 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 28 June 2016, 01:22:27 pm
From a client I've seen a few times and find every minute excruciatingly awkward:

Just out of interest would you  ever consider going on holiday with me I would enjoy the company it would not be until next year the USA or Canada are my best places to visit I would not need to have sex every night? If we went half on the flights and hotels and car then I can buy your meals and trips out? It would have to be for 2 weeks.

I mean even if I was willing to go on holiday with a client I assume they would normally pay for everything? It's not something I'd ever consider with even the nicest regular but especially not this guy!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 28 June 2016, 01:54:35 pm
Phonecall this morning from Ali G.
Ali G. Wat gwaaan
Me. I'm sorry?
Ali G. Wat gwaaan

Hang up  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 28 June 2016, 05:46:14 pm
Charming email from someone wanting a 'quick' outcall meet for ?20 and all I have to do is wank him off. ?20, ?20! Indeed!  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 28 June 2016, 06:20:20 pm
Someone here must have had this guy? . He's been ringing for around 4 years.I can't put a warning because he isn't abusive just annoying, he rings from a Spanish mobile.  conversation by phone is always as follows.

Him. Hi, I'm calling from Spain, how are you?
Me. I'm fine.
Him. I'm looking after my friends villa. Have you ever been to Spain?
Me. Yes I have.
Him. How is the weather in England?
Me. Raining.
Him. Would you skype me as I'd lke to visit when I fly back?
Me. No I don't skype.
Him. I'll pay you extra for the booking when I visit.
Me. No

He uses different mobiles but same spiel, he's basically a prick,
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 28 June 2016, 09:03:20 pm
Such a piece of literature  :FF


Dear Mistress


I am a 39 year old submissive doctor ...I thought I might outline my fantasy to see if it is something that you would be interested in....

I have always been very submissive to women, and it has always been my fantasy to find myself in a situation with a strong, dominant woman with strong legs who really could overpower me, and where i find myself in over my head. i love the thought of meeting you, being seduced by you so that you relax me, then being taken by surprise as you start to dominate and hurt me?i try to stop you and say i want to leave, which just causes you to laugh and start to really dominate me and proceed to crushing me under you as you smother me, or crush me between your thighs. you toy with me for a while, and then i slowly realise that you are not just a dominatrix, you are a true femme fatale who gets pleasure from crushing her victims to death. you mock me for my naivety as you wrap your beautiful but deadly thighs around my neck and start to slowly crush me to death like a python. i would love to be taken to the point where i am truly scared that you might really be capable of doing it and i am in real danger, so you literally have me begging for my life. (obviously i don't really want you to kill me, just the fantasy). I would love to experience being on the edge, under your rule, seeing the lust in your eyes as you threaten to kill me, realising that approaching you was the most foolish and dangerous thing I had ever done, and that even if I live, my life will never be the same again. (I think that this is more about psychological domination and making me feel terrified of you, rather than having to do anything genuinely physically dangerous or that you feel uncomfortable with) My only way out is to submit fully and accept that my fear and desire for you are inseparable, and that my only satisfaction can truly come from suffering for your pleasure.

If this is something you are interested, please let me know
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 28 June 2016, 09:13:05 pm
guys who try to book me when I am not available.  Don't they notice my availability before contacting someone?    ::) I hate telling them I was not going to be avail.  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 28 June 2016, 10:32:30 pm
Quote from: ladyinred on 28 June 2016, 09:03:20 pm
Such a piece of literature  :FF


Dear Mistress


I am a 39 year old submissive doctor ...I thought I might outline my fantasy to see if it is something that you would be interested in....

I have always been very submissive to women, and it has always been my fantasy to find myself in a situation with a strong, dominant woman with strong legs who really could overpower me, and where i find myself in over my head. i love the thought of meeting you, being seduced by you so that you relax me, then being taken by surprise as you start to dominate and hurt me?i try to stop you and say i want to leave, which just causes you to laugh and start to really dominate me and proceed to crushing me under you as you smother me, or crush me between your thighs. you toy with me for a while, and then i slowly realise that you are not just a dominatrix, you are a true femme fatale who gets pleasure from crushing her victims to death. you mock me for my naivety as you wrap your beautiful but deadly thighs around my neck and start to slowly crush me to death like a python. i would love to be taken to the point where i am truly scared that you might really be capable of doing it and i am in real danger, so you literally have me begging for my life. (obviously i don't really want you to kill me, just the fantasy). I would love to experience being on the edge, under your rule, seeing the lust in your eyes as you threaten to kill me, realising that approaching you was the most foolish and dangerous thing I had ever done, and that even if I live, my life will never be the same again. (I think that this is more about psychological domination and making me feel terrified of you, rather than having to do anything genuinely physically dangerous or that you feel uncomfortable with) My only way out is to submit fully and accept that my fear and desire for you are inseparable, and that my only satisfaction can truly come from suffering for your pleasure.

If this is something you are interested, please let me know
I'd do this booking, just proves how we all have different limits with requests.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Naughtyforty on 28 June 2016, 11:58:30 pm
Quote from: ladyinred on 28 June 2016, 09:03:20 pm
Such a piece of literature  :FF


Dear Mistress


I am a 39 year old submissive doctor ...I thought I might outline my fantasy to see if it is something that you would be interested in....

I have always been very submissive to women, and it has always been my fantasy to find myself in a situation with a strong, dominant woman with strong legs who really could overpower me, and where i find myself in over my head. i love the thought of meeting you, being seduced by you so that you relax me, then being taken by surprise as you start to dominate and hurt me?i try to stop you and say i want to leave, which just causes you to laugh and start to really dominate me and proceed to crushing me under you as you smother me, or crush me between your thighs. you toy with me for a while, and then i slowly realise that you are not just a dominatrix, you are a true femme fatale who gets pleasure from crushing her victims to death. you mock me for my naivety as you wrap your beautiful but deadly thighs around my neck and start to slowly crush me to death like a python. i would love to be taken to the point where i am truly scared that you might really be capable of doing it and i am in real danger, so you literally have me begging for my life. (obviously i don't really want you to kill me, just the fantasy). I would love to experience being on the edge, under your rule, seeing the lust in your eyes as you threaten to kill me, realising that approaching you was the most foolish and dangerous thing I had ever done, and that even if I live, my life will never be the same again. (I think that this is more about psychological domination and making me feel terrified of you, rather than having to do anything genuinely physically dangerous or that you feel uncomfortable with) My only way out is to submit fully and accept that my fear and desire for you are inseparable, and that my only satisfaction can truly come from suffering for your pleasure.

If this is something you are interested, please let me know
Lol,lol,lol! Send him to Scotland. I bet my roller skating / rugby playing thighs could easily crush him...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 29 June 2016, 12:12:03 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 28 June 2016, 10:32:30 pm
I'd do this booking, just proves how we all have different limits with requests.

I would probably do this booking too...But on my reply to him I would ask for a small deposit to prove he's genuine first, as we all know there are a lot of timewasting fantasists getting free thrills from email contact.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 29 June 2016, 10:55:49 am
Hiya. You wanna do me and my mate for 50.  We're hot for cougars like

Bye bye boys.

Last night I left my phone on.  Half one phone goes. I wouldn't normally answer but did.
Hi I was looking at your profile, fantastic by the way. Loved reading it. You available now?
I'm not, sorry. It does say on the profile I tend not to work after 5.
Aww man, do it for me. JustJust a 1 off?
It's half one, already said I was in bed and don't work after 5.  I know he was polite and such but please.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 29 June 2016, 01:02:01 pm
Unfortunately they just think with their dicks all the time. They are horny now so want it there and then even at some stupid hour. I turn my work phone on in the morning to several texts in the middle of the night from guys who want to come over at 2am  or for me to do a car meet, meet them in some back alley etc. Often guys who have been out drinking and can't sleep so they decided they are horny and want to get laid now.  They don't seem to understand we are not a 24 hour service. Some agencies might be but indie girls we choose our own hours and I don't know anyone who wants to work on call 24 hours.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 30 June 2016, 04:04:01 am
Hi Jennifer, have you ever modelled and do you love cum
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: loubyloo on 01 July 2016, 10:23:12 am
Had the most hilarious string of texts from a complete nutcase

17.05.      Smell feet
01.56.       Ok
01.57.       Got you put in bath
01.59.       M
13.51.       You got a pool they

Wtf? What goes through there mind! 😂😂😂😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 01 July 2016, 01:05:57 pm
Ive seen this guy once before. The following is a text conversation he had with himself after I ignored his feeble attempts to get a discount...
"Hi, I saw you last week and I'd love to see you today, unfortunately I can't afford half an hour today"
I suggested a 15 min booking.
"I really want half an hour though"
Politely informed him that I don't do discounts, and if he's not happy with a shorter booking then he'd be better waiting until he could afford my half hour rate.
"I'm gonna try and get the extra cash together, will get back to you"
"Unless I can pay you the outstanding the next time I see you?"
"Of course I'd name sure you'd enjoy it too to compensate..."
"Please babe? Surely you can let me off ?30 til next week? I work really hard for my money and you earn loads more loads quicker so I'd appreciate a favour"
"Look I wouldn't normally ask but I really felt a connection between us when we met and I really want to see you again"
"Please Hun this isn't fair to have me all worked up over a few Quid when you earn so much, ?30 must be nothing to you on the scale of things"
"Hello?"

And so on. What an idiot. It's the principle more than ?30. He seemed totally fine the one and only time I've seen him, not the type to try and get his second booking for pretty much half price. Gotta give him marks for persistence though...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 01 July 2016, 03:35:36 pm
Do they think saying shit like that would wash in a shop or when booking their car in for a service at the garage?Morons!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aleshaxx on 01 July 2016, 03:43:12 pm
A guy I've seen a couple of times before texts me at some stupid hour wanting a 15 minute booking (which I don't do) and a car meet (which I don't do) at a time I wasn't available. So anyway after a few back and forth messages explaining this I'd had enough and text him saying, "in the words of Simon Cowell, its a no from me".
He then responds with "in the words of Louis Walsh you took that and made it your own". Hahaha I laughed for a good hour or so at that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 01 July 2016, 04:08:03 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 01 July 2016, 03:35:36 pm
Do they think saying shit like that would wash in a shop or when booking their car in for a service at the garage?Morons!

Unfortunately it just seems a lot of punters don't understand that this is a job for us that pays the bills. It's like if you are a tattoo artist,graphic designer,repair computers whatever. Maybe you do enjoy what you do but at the end of the day it's still a job and you need to make money from it. It's amazing how some people can't get it around their thick head that they are employing us to provide a service to them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 01 July 2016, 09:12:49 pm
Me: "Hello."

Them: "Can you come down?"

Me: "No, I don't do outcalls. Didn't you read my advert?"

Them: "No, but we've got a jacuzzi."

Me: "I don't do outcalls."

Them: "But we're special." ("We're?" So there's more than one person there....I don't cater for multiple people either."

Me: "I don't care, I've got my own jacuzzi. Bye."

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 01 July 2016, 10:14:02 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 29 June 2016, 01:02:01 pm
Unfortunately they just think with their dicks all the time. They are horny now so want it there and then even at some stupid hour. I turn my work phone on in the morning to several texts in the middle of the night from guys who want to come over at 2am  or for me to do a car meet, meet them in some back alley etc. Often guys who have been out drinking and can't sleep so they decided they are horny and want to get laid now.  They don't seem to understand we are not a 24 hour service. Some agencies might be but indie girls we choose our own hours and I don't know anyone who wants to work on call 24 hours.

 ;D ;D  A Great observation.  I do believe that the vast majority of these men do drink a lot.  They get horny.   Does booze make men horny?   Could they get it up? is another question.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 02 July 2016, 12:15:10 am
Quote from: newbieNW on 01 July 2016, 10:14:02 pm
;D ;D  A Great observation.  I do believe that the vast majority of these men do drink a lot.  They get horny.   Does booze make men horny?   Could they get it up? is another question.  ::)

I've got a guy in touch right now who I've met twice since March with no real problems apart from the fact he often tries to make bookings by getting in touch at 4 in the morning via every site I'm on, text and email, expecting a reply. But today he keeps asking me who I am, claiming he's never done this before and asking questions I've already answered - definitely seems drunk!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 02 July 2016, 05:18:07 pm
"2 men want to meet you, you got 2 girls tonight? We pay good."

Apparently I run a brothel now. Who knew!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 02 July 2016, 06:35:40 pm
Quote from: The_Lynx on 02 July 2016, 05:18:07 pm
"2 men want to meet you, you got 2 girls tonight? We pay good."

Apparently I run a brothel now. Who knew!

I've had this sort of thing too a few times I don't know what it is. I had one guy call me recently and asked a bunch of questions about booking then said he'd like to book this day at this time, fine good can you confirm by this time on the day you are still coming. Then he asks "Will it be you? Or can you give me a different girl?" "Um no it's just me"  "Ah everyone else is booked?"  "No it's just me"  "How many girls do you have?"  "Just me...My website is for me I'm independent"  "Oh I thought this was an agency..."  "Oh well. Did you want the booking?"  "No thanks you're not really my type...Do you have an agency I can call?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 02 July 2016, 06:38:49 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 02 July 2016, 12:15:10 am
he often tries to make bookings by getting in touch at 4 in the morning via every site I'm on, text and email, expecting a reply. But today he keeps asking me who I am, claiming he's never done this before and asking questions I've already answered - definitely seems drunk!
   ::) ::) 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 02 July 2016, 06:39:48 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 02 July 2016, 06:35:40 pm
I've had this sort of thing too a few times I don't know what it is.

Drink killed intelligence?  ::)  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 03 July 2016, 12:02:13 pm
Quote from: The_Lynx on 02 July 2016, 05:18:07 pm
"2 men want to meet you, you got 2 girls tonight? We pay good."

Apparently I run a brothel now. Who knew!


Oh yes often when I can't do the booking I've had "Who else is working in Sheffield today?" I usually just tell them to look on adultwork.com  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 03 July 2016, 12:13:11 pm
Quote from: katrina on 03 July 2016, 12:02:13 pm

Oh yes often when I can't do the booking I've had "Who else is working in Sheffield today?" I usually just tell them to look on adultwork.com  ::)


Oh I get this a lot - and do the same! I had someone ask me yesterday if I knew any reliable girls in the city that's just a 10-15 min drive from my incall flat, I've never met him before, how does he know if I'm reliable!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 03 July 2016, 02:29:29 pm
Hello Hannah,

With a lot of interest I have been reading your profile. I am a 35-year old Belgian pilot and I am planning a trip for October for a 5 days to California. I know that you are busy, so I'd like to enquire well ahead of time if you'd be interested and/or available to join me; we would be flying in business class. My budget is 1500 pounds and all expenses paid. I have also made a reverse booking (please see a copy at the bottom).

You are such a stunning girl and I really want to meet you and perhaps you would be interested in joining me in October.
From August I will be flying a lot to the UK (I am an airline captain) and I will be a few days in the UK in August, and perhaps we could meet up to see if we match.
Sexually, I love facials but also owo, cim, reverse oral, of course protected sex and some role-play. I want us both to have fun.

Hopefully we can meet each other next month.

Have a great evening!


Sweet kiss,

Davy

Yes, he's read it so well he missed the fact I don't do overnights, travel or go on holiday with clients.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 03 July 2016, 11:05:18 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 03 July 2016, 12:13:11 pm

Oh I get this a lot - and do the same! I had someone ask me yesterday if I knew any reliable girls in the city that's just a 10-15 min drive from my incall flat, I've never met him before, how does he know if I'm reliable!


On the few occasions when I've recommended other escorts who I personally know, its caused more hassle than its worth as they've gone on about what there like, are they any good, etc,  then got back to me and said they haven't answered or whatever  ??? I'm not their bloody pimp, just tried to helpful sometimes and it has backfired on me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 04 July 2016, 07:42:53 pm
Today a guy said he is camping at the weekend and would I do an outcall. I asked where and if it was a caravan. He said he doesnt know where as he hasnt booked it and it will be in a tent. He then asked if I could recommend any camp sites.

I told him I dont do tents and im a prostitute, not a travel agency!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jill on 04 July 2016, 10:49:51 pm
AW email today.  Hi darl  u free now will phone if yes 

My profile clearly says please ring the number below if you would like same day booking.

Another from a total stranger    Saw you 3yrs ago when you did bareback remember?  Fancy a meet?  :FF 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 04 July 2016, 11:28:26 pm
Gone 11pm- I only advertise until 7pm...ask them to call...

Annoyance: Are you finished yet?
Me: Finished what?
Annoyance: I mean when is your last call?

Last call?! Like I ring a bell and 'shout Last orders at the whore' out the window?!

So I tell him I wasn't working this evening and was about to go to bed.

Annoyance: I'm only in (x place) I can be with you in about an hour

Honestly, the entitlement of these men!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 05 July 2016, 09:06:27 am
Have you thought about telling him to use one of those sex toys for men?  ::) :-X :P 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 05 July 2016, 09:19:22 am
Quote from: hannah13 on 03 July 2016, 02:29:29 pm
Hello Hannah,

With a lot of interest I have been reading your profile. I am a 35-year old Belgian pilot and I am planning a trip for October for a 5 days to California. I know that you are busy, so I'd like to enquire well ahead of time if you'd be interested and/or available to join me; we would be flying in business class. My budget is 1500 pounds and all expenses paid. I have also made a reverse booking (please see a copy at the bottom).

You are such a stunning girl and I really want to meet you and perhaps you would be interested in joining me in October.
From August I will be flying a lot to the UK (I am an airline captain) and I will be a few days in the UK in August, and perhaps we could meet up to see if we match.
Sexually, I love facials but also owo, cim, reverse oral, of course protected sex and some role-play. I want us both to have fun.

Hopefully we can meet each other next month.

Have a great evening!


Sweet kiss,

Davy

Yes, he's read it so well he missed the fact I don't do overnights, travel or go on holiday with clients.

I'm pretty sure he contacted me a year or so ago.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 05 July 2016, 10:35:08 am
Received on AW at 3:30am from someone who's profile says they are 46:

What you up to? I wanna my mom watch me sucking cock haha I'll share the cum to the mommy's white trash mouth wile we pee your golden shower on our pussy holes xx

 ??? ??? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: X-Annie on 05 July 2016, 07:13:40 pm
*Profile - Curvy size 14 * (Its quite clear I'm fat from my unedited pictures lol)

Guy comes into private on cam..

GUY - Hey sexy you around this eve?
Me- Yes, sure.. Email me for my number.
GUY - Your a bit fatter than I normally like but I'd still pay you ?20 just for a quick blowjob?

KICK  :)

I give up!  :D :) :D :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tinkerbell on 05 July 2016, 07:39:05 pm
Got this bollox today....

hun

would you like to visit athens in greece ?

i live in athens and work as an expat, british citizen, renting a nice 4 bed furnished house in upscale northern athens

will cover all expenses flights restaurants accomodation local travel etc etc such that this is an all expenses covered relaxing break for you but NO other costs hun

if you like it first time then maybe we can make it a regular affair. if you nice and you like me as well then you may move in with me permanently if you want

if interested whatsapp me on my uk number (he gives a number) or may be even better we speak on facetime / skype. you can whatsapp me anytime and can also see my profile display pic on whatsapp. at some stage we must chat on skype or facetime if you are serious else there is not much point. my skype is: viki.19822

am 35 year old, male, live alone here in athens as family back in london, soft spoken, nice, educated, i keep in shape, always use condom etc. during your stay we may or may not have sex, for example when a girl last visited me we did not have sex but still had cuddles and kisses

you should be clean, free from drugs, trustworthy etc

It's very decent to tell me I can move in with him permanently if we like each other. Now if any of you girls tell me you've had this and this is not an exclusive offer to me, I will be heartbroken.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: losthope on 06 July 2016, 09:42:43 am
Quote from: K47 on 05 March 2016, 02:35:27 am
Did you get this today? I had pretty much the same message a few months ago along with a few other ladies in Newcastle and we reported him to the admin of the site. As much as I don't want reviews, fake ones interest me even less!


Yep got that today, Im in Leeds. I agree why would I want a fake review?? and to be honest, the kind of guys that visit those sites I don't want visiting me anyway! I just blocked him

This is so wrong, just confirms that any tom dick or harry can write reviews.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 06 July 2016, 12:01:48 pm
Quote from: Tinkerbell on 05 July 2016, 07:39:05 pm
Got this bollox today....

hun

would you like to visit athens in greece ?

i live in athens and work as an expat, british citizen, renting a nice 4 bed furnished house in upscale northern athens

will cover all expenses flights restaurants accomodation local travel etc etc such that this is an all expenses covered relaxing break for you but NO other costs hun

if you like it first time then maybe we can make it a regular affair. if you nice and you like me as well then you may move in with me permanently if you want

if interested whatsapp me on my uk number (he gives a number) or may be even better we speak on facetime / skype. you can whatsapp me anytime and can also see my profile display pic on whatsapp. at some stage we must chat on skype or facetime if you are serious else there is not much point. my skype is: viki.19822

am 35 year old, male, live alone here in athens as family back in london, soft spoken, nice, educated, i keep in shape, always use condom etc. during your stay we may or may not have sex, for example when a girl last visited me we did not have sex but still had cuddles and kisses

you should be clean, free from drugs, trustworthy etc

It's very decent to tell me I can move in with him permanently if we like each other. Now if any of you girls tell me you've had this and this is not an exclusive offer to me, I will be heartbroken.

Oh. And I thought I was the only one who received such an amazing offer... I got the exact same copy and paste over a year ago. I don't understand why they think a week holiday with a total stranger with no pay would appeal to anyone in this industry, I'm lucky enough to earn enough to be able to go on holiday when and where (within reason!) I want with who I want rather than with an obnoxious, entitled sounding guy.
Then again, I've noticed a few reverse bids for holidays abroad with expenses paid but no fee offered, and they almost always have quite a few bids so I guess it must appeal to some!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 07 July 2016, 02:00:23 am

Would you be interested in being a couple and advertising for threesomes separate to our individual profile page? We can charge ?250 an hour and go 50/50. Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 07 July 2016, 10:30:43 am
Quote from: hannah13 on 07 July 2016, 02:00:23 am
Would you be interested in being a couple and advertising for threesomes separate to our individual profile page? We can charge ?250 an hour and go 50/50. Xx

They just don't get it do they? I can't see anyone paying double for a couple, the ones I know charge an extra 20 or something like that. I was having a discussion like this with a (very wealthy 'posh')  elderly client (he's in his 80's) he was saying that there are male escorts, I told him its very rare and that men usually pay women and men pay men but women don't pay for sex. He was adamant that it exists and that older rich women book males, so I just said ok probably a super fit model type young guy might get a few bookings in London or somewhere like that, his reply in all seriousness was "Well whats the difference between me and a young fit guy?" I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I just said well nothing really   ::) :FF The deluded idiot has probably gone through his whole life thinking he's something special because NOBODY has ever told him he's just an old fool lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrifleLover on 07 July 2016, 12:22:52 pm
Quote from: Tinkerbell on 05 July 2016, 07:39:05 pm
Got this bollox today....

hun

would you like to visit athens in greece ?

i live in athens and work as an expat, british citizen, renting a nice 4 bed furnished house in upscale northern athens

will cover all expenses flights restaurants accomodation local travel etc etc such that this is an all expenses covered relaxing break for you but NO other costs hun

if you like it first time then maybe we can make it a regular affair. if you nice and you like me as well then you may move in with me permanently if you want

if interested whatsapp me on my uk number (he gives a number) or may be even better we speak on facetime / skype. you can whatsapp me anytime and can also see my profile display pic on whatsapp. at some stage we must chat on skype or facetime if you are serious else there is not much point. my skype is: viki.19822

am 35 year old, male, live alone here in athens as family back in london, soft spoken, nice, educated, i keep in shape, always use condom etc. during your stay we may or may not have sex, for example when a girl last visited me we did not have sex but still had cuddles and kisses

you should be clean, free from drugs, trustworthy etc

It's very decent to tell me I can move in with him permanently if we like each other. Now if any of you girls tell me you've had this and this is not an exclusive offer to me, I will be heartbroken.

I've had this guy email me a few times, as well as a few of my friends. xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 08 July 2016, 10:33:46 pm
Some cockney sounding geezer just left a voicemail at 22.30 " I'm a boxer out of practice, wondered if you are about tonight" WTF? He thinks I'm a potential sparing partner or something... :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 09 July 2016, 12:11:31 pm
This can only be from an older guy, it's pretty incomprehensible though!

"Hllo i wld be gfl if u wld pls txt me and let me knw if u hve avy for one hr sssn incll nxt sat ligh dom arm wstl tie tease fce stg schl girl pin pny ply john"

My translation so far is:

"Hello I would be grateful if you would please text me and let me know if you have availability for one hour session incall next saturday light domination arm wrestle tie tease face sitting school girl" and I just can't work out what "pin pny ply" could mean - why is he so allergic to vowels!?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 09 July 2016, 01:12:25 pm
Something pony play? Or ponytail, give the school girl mention ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 09 July 2016, 02:19:07 pm
Pin the tail on the pony?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 09 July 2016, 02:55:12 pm
AW Message

Him: "I just wanted to ask if you have a size limit for escorting? I know some girls are offended by guys who are too small. I wanted to make sure you would be ok with my size before I try to book you."

Me : "I am happy to see anyone as long as they are well mannered and clean"

Him: "Thanks. If its not too personal, whats the smallest you have had please? Do you have any experience with guy who are very small and inexperienced? Should I tell you my size so you know what you will have to deal with? I am just a bit worried that you might change your mind when you actually see it. x"

Me: "I don't really recall as I don't pay that much attention to size and it really won't be a problem."

Can't believe he hasn't replied again!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 09 July 2016, 03:53:06 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 09 July 2016, 02:55:12 pm
AW Message

Him: "I just wanted to ask if you have a size limit for escorting? I know some girls are offended by guys who are too small. I wanted to make sure you would be ok with my size before I try to book you."

Me : "I am happy to see anyone as long as they are well mannered and clean"

Him: "Thanks. If its not too personal, whats the smallest you have had please? Do you have any experience with guy who are very small and inexperienced? Should I tell you my size so you know what you will have to deal with? I am just a bit worried that you might change your mind when you actually see it. x"

Me: "I don't really recall as I don't pay that much attention to size and it really won't be a problem."

Can't believe he hasn't replied again!

He totally wanted small penis humiliation for free.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 09 July 2016, 04:11:49 pm
Quote from: Rainbow on 09 July 2016, 02:19:07 pm
Pin the tail on the pony?

 ;D apparently he meant pony play and being pinned down!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 09 July 2016, 04:57:48 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 09 July 2016, 04:11:49 pm
;D apparently he meant pony play and being pinned down!

Lol, i hope he messages more, we can use them in quiz!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 09 July 2016, 07:51:03 pm
String of texts tonight all from the same idiot:
Hi I'm looking for older girl
Like your self love a mature pussy hope and bet your stink of nice warm fish down there
I have enough Connections and I sell my ass I'm looking for a regular bitch I have money I'm footballer
I'm looking for sex but also business partner me my girl and bloke

 :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 09 July 2016, 08:15:12 pm
Gad  ::) ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Naughtyforty on 09 July 2016, 08:39:51 pm
Quote from: newbieNW on 09 July 2016, 08:15:12 pm
Gad  ::) ::)

 Pmsl  ;D
But according to google the modern translation of gad is
Pathetic,   gay + sad = gad
I prefer my granny's version lol. Yuck.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 09 July 2016, 10:24:50 pm
 ;D Yes, ma'am  xx  :-*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 09 July 2016, 11:51:00 pm
Got this the other day:

Hiya hope your well wondered if you would be interested in making a fantasy a reality I've always had this fantasy where I take a hot girl out as almost like a gf and she pulls and flirts with other guys infront of me and my eventually pulls a black guy and one thing leads to another or if that's not your cup of tea perhaps you and a black guy and m b I got made to watch?

The guy had lots of positive feedback, but I can't get around the feeling that this was a copy and paste job...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 10 July 2016, 12:20:43 am
Quote from: Roxy101 on 09 July 2016, 11:51:00 pm
Got this the other day:

Hiya hope your well wondered if you would be interested in making a fantasy a reality I've always had this fantasy where I take a hot girl out as almost like a gf and she pulls and flirts with other guys infront of me and my eventually pulls a black guy and one thing leads to another or if that's not your cup of tea perhaps you and a black guy and m b I got made to watch?

The guy had lots of positive feedback, but I can't get around the feeling that this was a copy and paste job...

I got the same email ....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 10 July 2016, 01:25:36 am
How much to shoot my muck on your face..It will be a long wank!!! no reply from me
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Irishminx on 10 July 2016, 06:32:43 am
Received the most amazing offer from a guy in dublin whilst touring this week
"?10 hj, no sex I'll just look at ur pussy and tits as you do it"  :FF
Before you all fight over his number sorry I'm keeping this one all to myself  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 10 July 2016, 08:22:09 am
Hi flawless, how's u? thought id drop you a message...ive had a few bad experiences on aw but Like they say not all five fingers are them same, You seem professional. I will tell you why it was a bad experience , I arrived at the door, looked like she had jus woke up no make up no sexy lingerie, stockings or heels as requested but a pair of fluffy pink slippers and a pink gown, told me to go straight into her room no greeting at the door no kiss on the cheek or a cuddle, nothing. So we get into the room and I sat down on the bed, handed over the money and she said take your clothes off and lie down their, I said yes madam and done so thinking this is more like a sentence than a girlfriend experience, no oral without and kissed like a duck once or twice, nightmare! I was expecting something more like I come to the door with flowers and wine its opened by a sexy lady wearing sexy black lingerie with the stockings and stiletto heels with some nice make up, maybe pink lippy with the pink nails or even red or a sexy colour that suits your skin tone, doors opened a kiss and a cuddle straight away to make it feel like your coming to see your gf, you hold my hand and take me to your room, you kiss me with some more with some passion and suddenly stop and say get your ass in the shower lol so I have a quick shower, come out your lying siping on wine on the bed waiting for me, you tell me to come sit on the bed, so im sitting their with a towel wrapped around me and you then start kissing me as if you want me and sit over me whilst kissing me, you make me ly down and slowly go into a 69 position fully clothed (I think its sexier and more memorable when you 've got your lingerie and heels on) and down on me without a condom just for a short while and I play with you as you do, then you spin around and start kissing me again with some passion and tongue and slip a condom on me and use me however you liked, you fucking me and then get me to fuck you to make you cum while you kiss me till we both cum and are feeling all fuzzy and warm inside lol.. hope that's not too much to ask for or if that's no good to you, but I would remember and recognise a experience like that until I kicked the bucket! hope ive not scared you away, will be glad to send you pic to see me first, im not that bad looking and always take care of my appearance xx
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 10 July 2016, 08:40:48 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 09 July 2016, 03:53:06 pm
He totally wanted small penis humiliation for free.
I know and he didn't get it :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 10 July 2016, 08:09:52 pm
Hey, thanks for taking the time to read this email... Sorry if its a bit lengthy but im looking for something amazing! My names J, and i made this profile up today after looking through your pictures and bio, love what i seen. I'll just cut to the chase and say what i want from you... I want to be used by you, tied to a bed while you ride my face and talk filth to me, i want you to totally take control of me and ride me silly. I want seduced first and then a tounge rammed down my throat followed by a pussy stuff in my face, pure filth and dominance from you. I love the thought of you riding my face. Can you do this all for me, be what im craving. Maybe tie me up, a role play off a bossy school girl or secretary would be ideal for me. If you need a idea of what i want, here a link to something similar... [removed]

If you can do this, monday during the day? Im 26, great looking, with a good body. Thank you for your time. J
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 10 July 2016, 08:41:04 pm
Quote from: Kendra on 10 July 2016, 08:09:52 pm
i made this profile up today after looking through your pictures and bio

Let me guess, his profile showed he was active since 2012  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 10 July 2016, 09:12:04 pm
Kendra, your guy who had the bad experience (re: pink fluffy slippers matron) sounds OK, at least he has a sense of humour :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlaqHarlot on 10 July 2016, 10:44:30 pm
Got back off holiday today and answering my mails that come to my actual email address as I have it advertised.
Guy asks for a booking tells me his life story, age race, job, how he's slim good looking and clean blah blah blah.

I politely replied back that I only see men over 30 years of age and apologise, I then wish him a great day and a great week.

Get an email back almost instantly "you're a prostitute, you don't get to have a choice you should be seeing who comes through the door. How do you even get business"

How very bitter! I don't usually reply but this time I did, and I said very nicely "Prostitute or not, I am allowed the choice of who I want to sleep with whether that is free or paid for. Or do you advocate us prostitutes not having a choice on who we sleep with and would rather us be forced? I get enough business thank you, if I didn't I would've found another job by now. Thank you for proving exactly why I have strict restrictions, have a nice day"

He then replies "Sorry I just really like your pics, please see me I'll pay a deposit and meet you in public?" Blocked!

I just don't understand why these men think we are not allowed the choice just because we sell our bodies, it's shocking how many actually have this opinon! Regardless of how outrageous or how many restrictions a girl has... We are always allowed a choice.

Given up on replying to my messages until tomorrow, I don't have the patience for another prat after my long day lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 10 July 2016, 10:55:40 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 10 July 2016, 09:12:04 pm
Kendra, your guy who had the bad experience (re: pink fluffy slippers matron) sounds OK, at least he has a sense of humour :)

It's the long email rant about his experience with another escort that isn't really making a good first impression on me then going into crude detail about what he wants to do to me is completely unnecessary and off putting for me.

I've no issues what so ever with a new client getting in touch wanting to confirm the services I have listed available are genuinely available but I'm instantly turned off when they start talking about how they want to fuck me and make me cum etc. It's just not how to get a booking with me, my response was that I think he would be far better off with someone else.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 10 July 2016, 11:03:29 pm
Quote from: DesignerWhore on 10 July 2016, 10:44:30 pm
Got back off holiday today and answering my mails that come to my actual email address as I have it advertised.
Guy asks for a booking tells me his life story, age race, job, how he's slim good looking and clean blah blah blah.

I politely replied back that I only see men over 30 years of age and apologise, I then wish him a great day and a great week.

Get an email back almost instantly "you're a prostitute, you don't get to have a choice you should be seeing who comes through the door. How do you even get business"

How very bitter! I don't usually reply but this time I did, and I said very nicely "Prostitute or not, I am allowed the choice of who I want to sleep with whether that is free or paid for. Or do you advocate us prostitutes not having a choice on who we sleep with and would rather us be forced? I get enough business thank you, if I didn't I would've found another job by now. Thank you for proving exactly why I have strict restrictions, have a nice day"

He then replies "Sorry I just really like your pics, please see me I'll pay a deposit and meet you in public?" Blocked!

I just don't understand why these men think we are not allowed the choice just because we sell our bodies, it's shocking how many actually have this opinon! Regardless of how outrageous or how many restrictions a girl has... We are always allowed a choice.

Given up on replying to my messages until tomorrow, I don't have the patience for another prat after my long day lol!

I just got back my holidays today too.

I also get abusive emails/texts like that even when I politely decline a booking. If I've been a bit arsey with a client then abuse is expected so I try not to let it get to me as I think to myself that perhaps I could have handled the situation a bit better but it's when you politely decline a booking and they hit back with such nasty messages that I'm always a little taken back.

As prostitutes, we are the dregs of society to these nasty/bitter woman hating types. They hate us before they even meet with us because we take payment in exchange for our services. They wouldn't be so hateful if we fucked them for free so as far as I'm concerned....their bitterness is their problem.

When types like that say nasty, hurtful and horrid things....I just thank my gut feeling once again for it not letting me down.

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 10 July 2016, 11:17:09 pm
Got an email with a porn clip on it demonstrating what this guy wanted which was basically me sucking his nose..er not for me!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlaqHarlot on 11 July 2016, 12:12:33 am
Quote from: Kendra on 10 July 2016, 11:03:29 pm
I just got back my holidays today too.

I also get abusive emails/texts like that even when I politely decline a booking. If I've been a bit arsey with a client then abuse is expected so I try not to let it get to me as I think to myself that perhaps I could have handled the situation a bit better but it's when you politely decline a booking and they hit back with such nasty messages that I'm always a little taken back.

As prostitutes, we are the dregs of society to these nasty/bitter woman hating types. They hate us before they even meet with us because we take payment in exchange for our services. They wouldn't be so hateful if we fucked them for free so as far as I'm concerned....their bitterness is their problem.

When types like that say nasty, hurtful and horrid things....I just thank my gut feeling once again for it not letting me down.

xx
I agree!
In a way I'm glad they show their true colours before I have the displeasure of meeting them!

It's laughable that they can be so rude when you've been nothing but polite, when I turn down a booking I am polite, if it's a twat who's asking something completely stupid I'll be firm and straight but still not rude. It's just ridiculous that even when you politely decline them they get abusive.

I strongly believe men cannot take rejection at all, even worse when it's a "prostitute" they really can't stand the fact that we have a choice and have the right to refuse any client for any reasons since it's our bodies.

Their bitterness makes me smile to be honest, kind of a compliment that they would get that pissed off and worked up just because they can't see me haha! :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 11 July 2016, 02:45:03 am
Quote from: Red KB on 09 July 2016, 02:55:12 pm
AW Message

Him: "I just wanted to ask if you have a size limit for escorting? I know some girls are offended by guys who are too small. I wanted to make sure you would be ok with my size before I try to book you."

Me : "I am happy to see anyone as long as they are well mannered and clean"

Him: "Thanks. If its not too personal, whats the smallest you have had please? Do you have any experience with guy who are very small and inexperienced? Should I tell you my size so you know what you will have to deal with? I am just a bit worried that you might change your mind when you actually see it. x"

Me: "I don't really recall as I don't pay that much attention to size and it really won't be a problem."

Can't believe he hasn't replied again!

Was this in Leeds? Sounds like the guy I posted a warning about in the TW section. After making a booking he texted a couple of questions about whether I had smaller size condoms I just said yes whilst my Spidey senses were telling me that this one would be a no show at best but he turned out to be really nasty and abusive.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 11 July 2016, 09:48:08 am
"Wow. You look gorgeous. Wonder where you are and whether you'd fulfil a naughty fantasy I have. A five minute quickie - trousers and pants straight down and give me a good spanking. Then wank me off into the palm of your hand and raise it to my mouth and feed my spunk to me. As you can tell I'm a very naughty boy"

I don't do quickies, asking for 5 mins wtf? idiot & feeding his spunk to him would make me retch, dirty pig. It's Monday morning ffsake, what's wrong with these creeps? 2 time wasting weirdos already before 10am.  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 11 July 2016, 10:08:31 am
I had one contact me and amongst other creepy things, he wanted me to suck his cock everytime he said 'feed'. 

That just totally creeped me out and i couldnt get the image of the plant from 'little shop of horrors' out of my head!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 11 July 2016, 10:11:38 am
Lol feed me Seymour, feed me. Anyone who says feed can jog on.  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 11 July 2016, 12:29:20 pm
Quote from: Rainbow on 11 July 2016, 10:08:31 am
I had one contact me and amongst other creepy things, he wanted me to suck his cock everytime he said 'feed'. 

That just totally creeped me out and i couldnt get the image of the plant from 'little shop of horrors' out of my head!

That plants got a great voice when it sings  ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jill on 11 July 2016, 01:08:28 pm
Being turned down by a prostitute may be the ultimate rejection for some men and enrage them.

Lately I have not had many stupid emails or replies to my rejection of them but one I kept because it amuses me if nothing else, "can we set up a meeting with me walking into your unlocked house and you are blindfolded and waiting on your bed?"

I am sure some of you have had similar. Not even a hardline sub woman would be mad enough to do that with a man she has never met.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 11 July 2016, 03:13:59 pm
Oh yes I had a similar request a week ago.Asking if he could watch me masterbate and for me to be blindfolded er no I don't think so!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 11 July 2016, 03:15:22 pm
Eugh eugh eugh, i got this email yesterday..

'I am a 50 yo dom businessman.
I am looking for a genuine sub to wrap from neck to toes in cellophane. I would first view your bondage for my own pleasure before opening access holes to your body for your continued orgasm...'

Do they genuinely think we are that dumb?! Next they'll be asking us to leave a few knives out for them to choose from!

I really do find it funny when they assume they will make me cum! Its never happened yet in this job and i doubt being clingfilmed by a complete stranger is the way to achieve it!

I dont understand men. I thought i did, but i dont :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 11 July 2016, 03:33:18 pm
Quote from: Rainbow on 11 July 2016, 03:15:22 pm
Eugh eugh eugh, i got this email yesterday..

'I am a 50 yo dom businessman.
I am looking for a genuine sub to wrap from neck to toes in cellophane. I would first view your bondage for my own pleasure before opening access holes to your body for your continued orgasm...'

Do they genuinely think we are that dumb?! Next they'll be asking us to leave a few knives out for them to choose from!

I really do find it funny when they assume they will make me cum! Its never happened yet in this job and i doubt being clingfilmed by a complete stranger is the way to achieve it!

I dont understand men. I thought i did, but i dont :(

Thankfully it's not ALL men xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 11 July 2016, 05:34:45 pm
Quote from: BJC on 11 July 2016, 02:45:03 am
Was this in Leeds? Sounds like the guy I posted a warning about in the TW section. After making a booking he texted a couple of questions about whether I had smaller size condoms I just said yes whilst my Spidey senses were telling me that this one would be a no show at best but he turned out to be really nasty and abusive.
I'm in Nottingham but he could have been from anywhere. His location wasn't filled in on his profile...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 11 July 2016, 06:41:01 pm
Guy rings making out like he has never spoken to me before where as we had a reasonable chat about a month ago..asks about visiting me on Wednesday then asks if he will be the first of the day!Told him it was a strange and rather inappropriate question and politely ended the call.
Weirdo!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 11 July 2016, 07:51:27 pm
Quote from: Rainbow on 11 July 2016, 03:15:22 pm
Eugh eugh eugh, i got this email yesterday..

'I am a 50 yo dom businessman.
I am looking for a genuine sub to wrap from neck to toes in cellophane. I would first view your bondage for my own pleasure before opening access holes to your body for your continued orgasm...'

Do they genuinely think we are that dumb?! Next they'll be asking us to leave a few knives out for them to choose from!

I really do find it funny when they assume they will make me cum! Its never happened yet in this job and i doubt being clingfilmed by a complete stranger is the way to achieve it!

I dont understand men. I thought i did, but i dont :(

Just idiots who don't understand BDSM at all. They just want to be a dom because they are selfish pricks who want to make everything about themselves and what they want. Mostly they just want to act out whatever abuse and not get reported to the police.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 12 July 2016, 02:33:04 am
Quote from: Rainbow on 11 July 2016, 03:15:22 pm
Eugh eugh eugh, i got this email yesterday..

'I am a 50 yo dom businessman.
I am looking for a genuine sub to wrap from neck to toes in cellophane. I would first view your bondage for my own pleasure before opening access holes to your body for your continued orgasm...'

Do they genuinely think we are that dumb?! Next they'll be asking us to leave a few knives out for them to choose from!

I really do find it funny when they assume they will make me cum! Its never happened yet in this job and i doubt being clingfilmed by a complete stranger is the way to achieve it!

I dont understand men. I thought i did, but i dont :(

WHAT!! You aren't climaxing at the mere sight of his glorious self? I have had men make me climax from across the room! Of course at the time he was holding a wad of cash.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 12 July 2016, 11:41:21 am
Quote from: VioletteUK on 12 July 2016, 02:33:04 am
WHAT!! You aren't climaxing at the mere sight of his glorious self? I have had men make me climax from across the room! Of course at the time he was holding a wad of cash.  ;D

Oh yes that's such a thrill for me too, I could have multiple orgasms just at the site of that wad  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 12 July 2016, 11:53:08 am
A client yesterday who I've seen for years but not on a regular basis texted asking if "I'm around today" I replied saying it depends when he was thinking of? He took over half an hour to reply with "Now" So I said no sorry soonest I can do is in about 40 mins time (I was still at home) he texted back saying "I'm back in Sheffield next week shall I call you?" I said yes that's fine but with a bit more notice. He then replied "I understand sorry for my impatience just fancied a dirty fuck!!" I just replied "no orobs" (deliberate spelling mistake to show that I wasn't bothered, but I wish I had thought a bit quicker and said something like "Yes I fancied your dirty cash too" lol  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 12 July 2016, 01:27:10 pm
Series of texts this morning..

"I wana sit ur ass on a brick wall an...."

"Slut?"

"Want?"

"I cum now?"

"??"

I think somebody broke Bob the Builder.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 12 July 2016, 01:30:00 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 12 July 2016, 01:27:10 pm
Series of texts this morning..

"I wana sit ur ass on a brick wall an...."

"Slut?"

"Want?"

"I cum now?"

"??"

I think somebody broke Bob the Builder.

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 12 July 2016, 02:19:18 pm
email on AW: hey ring me ba

What the heck is ba?!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 12 July 2016, 06:37:20 pm
Just had a guy back and forth a bit on AW and nearly had an agreed booking, he then said he only likes pussy to be either totally smooth or really fluffy - I personally use Veet about every 1-2 weeks so obviously grow it out a little bit in between (I find my skin is too sensitive to shave or use veet more often) - he seems to have decided that isn't good enough and has stopped replying since I said I have short hairs at the moment. It's just not possible to please everyone when it comes to pussy hair so I don't take requests for growth or smoothness, but this guy is just being overly finicky...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 13 July 2016, 01:43:52 pm
Text conversation

Him - i darling do you work in mornings

me- What kinda time?

Him - Early i pay very very lot if could give you anle striaht after you been loo

me - no thanks

Him - i pay ?800!

me - NO THANKS
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 13 July 2016, 01:54:12 pm
Quote from: Rainbow on 13 July 2016, 01:43:52 pm
Text conversation

Him - i darling do you work in mornings

me- What kinda time?

Him - Early i pay very very lot if could give you anle striaht after you been loo

me - no thanks

Him - i pay ?800!

me - NO THANKS

There's him presuming we all shit first thing in the morning. He'd have a fucking shock if he tried it with me, my constitution doesn't move until around 11am!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: dynamicd on 13 July 2016, 02:19:28 pm
The first email this guy sends me is:
"Would [insert my escort name] like to suck ones cock."

After a reply stating my disapproval of his initial message he comes back with:
"Do you suck dick? X mine is big and long heavy balls full of Man fat (cum)."

Man fat?!?!? That's a new one for me. I don't quite think I have heard of it referred to as that ever. I also find it ridiculous that these guys seem to think saying they have a large phallus is somehow going to make us want them more. ??? ::) :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 13 July 2016, 04:29:17 pm
Quote from: dynamicdi5563 on 13 July 2016, 02:19:28 pm
The first email this guy sends me is:
"Would [insert my escort name] like to suck ones cock."

After a reply stating my disapproval of his initial message he comes back with:
"Do you suck dick? X mine is big and long heavy balls full of Man fat (cum)."

Man fat?!?!? That's a new one for me. I don't quite think I have heard of it referred to as that ever. I also find it ridiculous that these guys seem to think saying they have a large phallus is somehow going to make us want them more. ??? ::) :FF

That is gross! Man fat!! Im not even gonna describe the image it triggers.  Bleugh
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 13 July 2016, 05:48:57 pm
Idiot day today!First some div texting me drivel like 'Any details?' Followed by his age 22.Pointed out I see blokes of 25 and over so then he says he is really 32..and then later 54.
Then some assclown asking for a quickie for 30 askes him if he asks for a tenner off when he buys a shirt at Marks and Spencer.Later he tells me he put the phone down on me cos of my attitude.He didn't I said no and said goodbye and I put the phone down..so a haggler and a petulant little fibber.Bet he often wonders why he can't get laid!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 13 July 2016, 07:17:44 pm
Quote from: Chatterly on 11 July 2016, 09:48:08 am
"Wow. You look gorgeous. Wonder where you are and whether you'd fulfil a naughty fantasy I have. A five minute quickie - trousers and pants straight down and give me a good spanking. Then wank me off into the palm of your hand and raise it to my mouth and feed my spunk to me. As you can tell I'm a very naughty boy"

I don't do quickies, asking for 5 mins wtf? idiot & feeding his spunk to him would make me retch, dirty pig. It's Monday morning ffsake, what's wrong with these creeps? 2 time wasting weirdos already before 10am.  >:(
Personally I'd do this but I agree about the Monday morning thing! Who the fuck thinks stuff like this on a Monday? I can just about talk to people on a Monday morning. It amazes me what blokes spend money on.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 13 July 2016, 07:56:27 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 13 July 2016, 07:17:44 pm
Personally I'd do this but I agree about the Monday morning thing! Who the fuck thinks stuff like this on a Monday? I can just about talk to people on a Monday morning. It amazes me what blokes spend money on.

Yep I do this type of thing often, I'm amazed at how many men want to eat their own cum...One I wank him off into a glass and he drinks it after!!! Gad lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 13 July 2016, 09:12:53 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 13 July 2016, 07:17:44 pm
Personally I'd do this but I agree about the Monday morning thing! Who the fuck thinks stuff like this on a Monday? I can just about talk to people on a Monday morning. It amazes me what blokes spend money on.

I often see clients for what is literally 5 mins but they book and pay for a full 15 or 30 minutes. In my experience the ones that ask for a 5 min booking expect to pay less because "it's only 5 minutes!"- had one of these clowns today who seemed to think that an offer for ?20 for 5 mins sex is reasonable.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 13 July 2016, 10:43:05 pm
Quote from: BJC on 13 July 2016, 09:12:53 pm
I often see clients for what is literally 5 mins but they book and pay for a full 15 or 30 minutes. In my experience the ones that ask for a 5 min booking expect to pay less because "it's only 5 minutes!"- had one of these clowns today who seemed to think that an offer for ?20 for 5 mins sex is reasonable.

Ridiculous, whether they're a one minute man or not makes no difference to me....your still renting your mind, body and soul out and that comes at a price regardless of time.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 13 July 2016, 10:53:13 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 13 July 2016, 07:17:44 pm
. It amazes me what blokes spend money on.
yes they do, what we, us, women consider to be revolting, it's "lovely" to them.  That is why women of all shapes are desired by men / punters.  There are different fetishes, there are punters who are into morbidly obese women, amputees, pensioners, ( sorry, no bias but to bring up as examples).  They love the unknown, curious creatures.  They would try anything once or twice or more if they liked it.   ::) :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 13 July 2016, 11:23:38 pm
To be fair the things we spend our money on (crazy money on shoes, bags and cosmetics not to mention all the money we spend on beauty/cosmetic treatments) is probably crazy to them. We're just a different species with different things on our minds.

Thank feck there's so many men out there spending their money on sex or we'd all be out of a job 😁
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 14 July 2016, 03:50:16 pm
Quote from: newbieNW on 13 July 2016, 10:53:13 pm
yes they do, what we, us, women consider to be revolting, it's "lovely" to them.  That is why women of all shapes are desired by men / punters.  There are different fetishes, there are punters who are into morbidly obese women, amputees, pensioners, ( sorry, no bias but to bring up as examples).  They love the unknown, curious creatures.  They would try anything once or twice or more if they liked it.   ::) :)
For instance, a guy booked me for 2 hours of me fisting him because it was his birthday so he was treating himself, I think that would totally ruin my birthday and I'd probably never celebrate it again  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 14 July 2016, 07:01:29 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 14 July 2016, 03:50:16 pm
For instance, a guy booked me for 2 hours of me fisting him because it was his birthday so he was treating himself, I think that would totally ruin my birthday and I'd probably never celebrate it again  ???

Fuck sake  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 14 July 2016, 08:54:03 pm
Quote from: katrina on 13 July 2016, 07:56:27 pm
Yep I do this type of thing often, I'm amazed at how many men want to eat their own cum...One I wank him off into a glass and he drinks it after!!! Gad lol

I find it disturbing (yes, that is the right word) that men exist who drink their own cum. I would be seriously concerned about being in their presence.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 14 July 2016, 09:19:37 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 14 July 2016, 08:54:03 pm
I find it disturbing (yes, that is the right word) that men exist who drink their own cum. I would be seriously concerned about being in their presence.


That's tame compared to the ones who want to drink other mens cum...I've had requests to save previous clients used full condoms and 'force' them to eat the contents as part of a humiliation session, I remember doing it once years ago there was another escort downstairs at the time, he said did I want to ask her to come up to watch him drink it as well (I said yes she will for a fee) She came in to the room fully dressed so he wasn't getting a thrill in that way, she just looked at him in a truly disgusted way, called him a filthy beast or something like that and we both just laughed at him, called him a fucking disgusting weirdo and stuff like that lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 14 July 2016, 09:27:24 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 14 July 2016, 03:50:16 pm
For instance, a guy booked me for 2 hours of me fisting him because it was his birthday so he was treating himself, I think that would totally ruin my birthday and I'd probably never celebrate it again  ???



This made me chuckle  ;D  Birthday treat  ??? Sounds more like a nightmare lmao
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 14 July 2016, 09:42:30 pm
Quote from: katrina on 14 July 2016, 09:19:37 pm

That's tame compared to the ones who want to drink other mens cum...I've had requests to save previous clients used full condoms and 'force' them to eat the contents as part of a humiliation session, I remember doing it once years ago there was another escort downstairs at the time, he said did I want to ask her to come up to watch him drink it as well (I said yes she will for a fee) She came in to the room fully dressed so he wasn't getting a thrill in that way, she just looked at him in a truly disgusted way, called him a filthy beast or something like that and we both just laughed at him, called him a fucking disgusting weirdo and stuff like that lol
I have a constant cum donation going, I have a few clients that want to suck the contents of used condoms, and in my fridge at my incall I often have a Tupperware with cum chilling.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 14 July 2016, 10:05:02 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 14 July 2016, 09:42:30 pm
I have a constant cum donation going, I have a few clients that want to suck the contents of used condoms, and in my fridge at my incall I often have a Tupperware with cum chilling.

Don't wanna get shot down in flames here but do you not think that's grossly, horrendously disrespectful to your clients who's cum your passing onto some other MALE cum guzzling freak? I honestly think my clients would be mortified and horrified if they thought for a second that I was keeping their cum for another guy to drink.

I have been asked a number of times for my used condoms and always told them quite aggressively to DO ONE!!

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 14 July 2016, 10:06:43 pm
Quote from: katrina on 14 July 2016, 09:27:24 pm


This made me chuckle  ;D  Birthday treat  ??? Sounds more like a nightmare lmao

I know, I can't even take a finger tip up my butt hole  :o

No, no, no, just....no!

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 14 July 2016, 10:38:26 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 14 July 2016, 08:54:03 pm
I find it disturbing (yes, that is the right word) that men exist who drink their own cum. I would be seriously concerned about being in their presence.

Are you serious?! Do you not lick your own fingers after masturbating?!

There's a fuck sight more disturbing things to worry about as far as I'm concerned!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 14 July 2016, 10:41:07 pm
Who can go back to holding hands with a man after that?   :-X  bet they have got 'normal LTRs' with unsuspecting woman at home.  Men's double life is worse than hooker's. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: loubyloo on 15 July 2016, 08:10:52 am
Quote from: Rainbow on 13 July 2016, 04:29:17 pm
That is gross! Man fat!! Im not even gonna describe the image it triggers.  Bleugh

I had a ' man skin cream' the other day!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 15 July 2016, 08:35:03 am
Quote from: Kendra on 14 July 2016, 10:05:02 pm
Don't wanna get shot down in flames here but do you not think that's grossly, horrendously disrespectful to your clients who's cum your passing onto some other MALE cum guzzling freak? I honestly think my clients would be mortified and horrified if they thought for a second that I was keeping their cum for another guy to drink.

I have been asked a number of times for my used condoms and always told them quite aggressively to DO ONE!!

xx
They know what it's used for, they donate willingly, I wouldn't dream of saving it on the sly x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 15 July 2016, 08:52:51 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 15 July 2016, 08:35:03 am
They know what it's used for, they donate willingly, I wouldn't dream of saving it on the sly x

Ah that's ok then  :-*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 15 July 2016, 10:04:06 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 14 July 2016, 10:38:26 pm
Are you serious?! Do you not lick your own fingers after masturbating?!

There's a fuck sight more disturbing things to worry about as far as I'm concerned!

Errrrr no, I don't as it happens! hahahaha! Do you??  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 15 July 2016, 10:05:50 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 14 July 2016, 10:38:26 pm
Are you serious?! Do you not lick your own fingers after masturbating?!

There's a fuck sight more disturbing things to worry about as far as I'm concerned!

Errrrr....no, I don't as it happens! haha!

OMG I'm not joking but men drinking other men's cum is way off the scale in my view. I mean, like, WHY.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 15 July 2016, 11:14:51 pm
Some times I get asked to snowball them which is fine as do ow. I had one texting me earlier wanting to pay extra to drink others cum but couldn't do it. It's not the act itself couldn't stale my fridge out with my fresh food in. Also clients trust me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 15 July 2016, 11:34:18 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 15 July 2016, 10:04:06 pm
Errrrr no, I don't as it happens! hahahaha! Do you??  :)

I do. Yum. And no one bats an eyelid when women swallow men's spunk/men swallow women's vag juice.

But anyway. My fet isn't your fet, your fet isn't my fet, let's not worry about all the gross-out stuff that other people do, otherwise I'm going to start thinking about the toenail nibblers, the nose pickers, the toilet lickers, and the snail (yes, real snails, not a euphamism) eaters. Not on this thread, anyway :D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tinkerbell on 16 July 2016, 09:38:02 am
'I pay you 90 and fuck all your holes bareback'. Now I don't do bareback, and I don't do anal, both of which are clear from my profile. Oh and I don't reduce my rates either. But what bothered me most was that he didn't stipulate what he was going to pay me with. 90 pounds? 90 euros? 90 jelly babies?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 16 July 2016, 10:25:35 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 15 July 2016, 11:34:18 pm
I do. Yum. And no one bats an eyelid when women swallow men's spunk/men swallow women's vag juice.

But anyway. My fet isn't your fet, your fet isn't my fet, let's not worry about all the gross-out stuff that other people do, otherwise I'm going to start thinking about the toenail nibblers, the nose pickers, the toilet lickers, and the snail (yes, real snails, not a euphamism) eaters. Not on this thread, anyway :D ;D
Well said Cat! I'm not going to get into a shock value fetish competition here but it's wide and varied, I accept not everyone's bag but happens all the same.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 16 July 2016, 10:46:39 am
Quote from: meetingdiversity on 15 July 2016, 11:14:51 pm
Some times I get asked to snowball them which is fine as do ow. I had one texting me earlier wanting to pay extra to drink others cum but couldn't do it. It's not the act itself couldn't stale my fridge out with my fresh food in. Also clients trust me.
As I pointed out earlier my clients pay to specifically donate for cum drinking, I don't sneak away used condoms from unsuspecting punters! and the fridge at my incall is empty, not full of my food etc,

It's a fetish that I like indulging my clients in, all my clients trust me to behave responsibly
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 16 July 2016, 12:49:10 pm
Quote from: Tinkerbell on 16 July 2016, 09:38:02 am
'I pay you 90 and fuck all your holes bareback'. Now I don't do bareback, and I don't do anal, both of which are clear from my profile. Oh and I don't reduce my rates either. But what bothered me most was that he didn't stipulate what he was going to pay me with. 90 pounds? 90 euros? 90 jelly babies?

I got a phone call very similar to that without the 90!

He phoned up and said can I fuck all your holes bareback. I just hung the phone up on him and then I got a text saying I'm a whore and have a cheek to be offended at asking to be fucked.

Clown clearly didn't understand where he went wrong!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 16 July 2016, 02:22:52 pm
Quote from: Tinkerbell on 16 July 2016, 09:38:02 am
'I pay you 90 and fuck all your holes bareback'. Now I don't do bareback, and I don't do anal, both of which are clear from my profile. Oh and I don't reduce my rates either. But what bothered me most was that he didn't stipulate what he was going to pay me with. 90 pounds? 90 euros? 90 jelly babies?

This sort of thing bugs me more than anything else when they phone or text and start dictating what you will let them do and how much they are going to pay for it. This is not a negotiation I don't know where they get the idea that it is
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 16 July 2016, 03:24:45 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 16 July 2016, 02:22:52 pm
This sort of thing bugs me more than anything else when they phone or text and start dictating what you will let them do and how much they are going to pay for it. This is not a negotiation I don't know where they get the idea that it is

Agreed but lots of girls do negotiate as some thing that some money is better than no money which makes a lot of them think we must all be up for a negotiation x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 16 July 2016, 06:44:04 pm
Just blocked a guy who initially asked for 15 mins (which I don't offer) and then claimed he'd be OK with 30 minutes and then said he needed anal (which I don't offer) and when I said I don't offer anal he text "you can try baby" - no thanks your boundary pushing ass is now blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 16 July 2016, 07:13:06 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 16 July 2016, 06:44:04 pm
Just blocked a guy who initially asked for 15 mins (which I don't offer) and then claimed he'd be OK with 30 minutes and then said he needed anal (which I don't offer) and when I said I don't offer anal he text "you can try baby" - no thanks your boundary pushing ass is now blocked.

I know, why people don't just choose an escort that actually offers the services they require in order to have a great time for them personally still baffles me to this day x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletteUK on 17 July 2016, 09:57:51 am
Quote from: Kendra on 16 July 2016, 07:13:06 pm
I know, why people don't just choose an escort that actually offers the services they require in order to have a great time for them personally still baffles me to this day x
Half the time they don't plan on booking anyway, and are just doing it for sport. Other times they are assholes.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 17 July 2016, 12:17:48 pm
Quote from: Tinkerbell on 16 July 2016, 09:38:02 am
' But what bothered me most was that he didn't stipulate what he was going to pay me with. 90 pounds? 90 euros? 90 jelly babies?


Maybe his name's Jack and he wants to pay you in magic beans  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 17 July 2016, 03:54:07 pm
"Hi baby when can you see me for a 15 minute appointment, for ?60"

1. I don't do 15 minute appointments
2. If I did, *I* decide the rate, not you
3. DON'T ASSUME I WILL SEE YOU ~AT ALL~ YOU ENTITLED SHIT
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: loubyloo on 20 July 2016, 08:02:14 am
2 idiots yesterday.
Do you see younger guys?
How young are you?
I'm 19.
Sorry no, I'm not comfortable with that. (I'm 45)
Am I younger than your son?
I just wouldn't see anyone that young.
I wish I was your son
Que to hang up! Arghhhh......

2 nd one.
Just a text saying,
Will you ram your pussy in my face?
Ermmmm let me think about that for a nanosecond...didn't even reply!

They do make me laugh though x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 20 July 2016, 11:01:44 am
No credit babe
Can you call me?

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 20 July 2016, 01:05:08 pm
"Do you know *insert local escort*? She's not returning my calls can you get her to call me?"

At what point did I accept the job of being her pimp? I WANT TO QUIT RIGHT NOW!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 20 July 2016, 08:24:16 pm
Quote from: Tinkerbell on 16 July 2016, 09:38:02 am
'I pay you 90 and fuck all your holes bareback'. Now I don't do bareback, and I don't do anal, both of which are clear from my profile. Oh and I don't reduce my rates either. But what bothered me most was that he didn't stipulate what he was going to pay me with. 90 pounds? 90 euros? 90 jelly babies?

Hilariously funny!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendra on 20 July 2016, 08:40:46 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 20 July 2016, 01:05:08 pm
"Do you know *insert local escort*? She's not returning my calls can you get her to call me?"

At what point did I accept the job of being her pimp? I WANT TO QUIT RIGHT NOW!

OMG haha  ;D

I often get the .... Do you know anyone else that's available then? As if I know all the escorts in Glasgow and their availability  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 20 July 2016, 08:52:10 pm
Quote from: Kendra on 20 July 2016, 08:40:46 pm
OMG haha  ;D

I often get the .... Do you know anyone else that's available then? As if I know all the escorts in Glasgow and their availability  ::)
I have a good friend that has been retired for around a year and I still get her ex regs ringing me asking if they can have her number. I say no she's retired, one guy said 'Well I'm sure she'd see me if she's ever short of money" what a prize prick!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 21 July 2016, 10:11:40 am
I got " wanna be my slut " today xxxxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 21 July 2016, 01:19:43 pm
An email today.
Hi I really want to see you! I think you blocked me before, give me another chance, please please please

He had no aliases not sure who he is or if he's blocked on my phone but he shot himself in the foot and I blocked him anyway!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 21 July 2016, 01:51:30 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 21 July 2016, 01:19:43 pm
An email today.
Hi I really want to see you! I think you blocked me before, give me another chance, please please please

He had no aliases not sure who he is or if he's blocked on my phone but he shot himself in the foot and I blocked him anyway!

I've got one of those, too. He's figured out that I've blocked his number. Said that he didn't know why, except that when he had car trouble when he booked me last. He gave me his number and I looked it up. While I don't remember him, he's saved under "no show." I told him that I don't give second chances.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 21 July 2016, 02:31:44 pm
Hi,

I went through your profile and found it to be very intriguing. I like to be honest about what I am looking for and that would be bareback as protection takes away the pleasure and A-level. I am willing to pay 2 grand extra. I am regularly tested and can show you my reports. I can even get tested with you on the day we meet. I know you may not have listed it in your profile but I hope you understand my needs.

Thank You

 :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 21 July 2016, 02:51:08 pm
An email from adultwork via my phone at 1.47pm "Hi Kat are you free at 2?" x



The actual email will never be opened/read through the site but at least he's got a sense of humour  ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 21 July 2016, 03:08:28 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 21 July 2016, 02:31:44 pm
Hi,

I went through your profile and found it to be very intriguing. I like to be honest about what I am looking for and that would be bareback as protection takes away the pleasure and A-level. I am willing to pay 2 grand extra. I am regularly tested and can show you my reports. I can even get tested with you on the day we meet. I know you may not have listed it in your profile but I hope you understand my needs.

Thank You

 :FF :FF :FF

Think I've had that one, too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 21 July 2016, 03:47:41 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 21 July 2016, 01:51:30 pm
I've got one of those, too. He's figured out that I've blocked his number. Said that he didn't know why, except that when he had car trouble when he booked me last. He gave me his number and I looked it up. While I don't remember him, he's saved under "no show." I told him that I don't give second chances.
What amazes me is that a guy that knows you have blocked him and that you don't want to see him still pushes for a booking!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 21 July 2016, 05:37:25 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 14 July 2016, 10:38:26 pm
Are you serious?! Do you not lick your own fingers after masturbating?!

There's a fuck sight more disturbing things to worry about as far as I'm concerned!

I don't even let them kiss me after giving me oral :-X lol. One time my friend was wanking himself next to me and he put his precum in his mouth. I gagged. I just couldn't believe.  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 21 July 2016, 05:49:02 pm
Quote from: Kendra on 16 July 2016, 03:24:45 pm
Agreed but lots of girls do negotiate as some thing that some money is better than no money which makes a lot of them think we must all be up for a negotiation x

So true. I was going through the thread the other day and someone accepted a "?10 to cum on you booking" with the reason being 10 quid is better than no quid. Obviously when she got there he tried it on. He then tried booking her again but this time for ?5. Now this fucker is going to try it on with another escort because he got away with it the first time with her. I usually don't read texts but Had someone message me the other day saying they can't manage my hourly fee but can manage ?120 for the hour. I didn't respond(what you can or can't manage is your problem not mine) then he sent a text saying he will call the next day. His number got blacklisted and he didn't call. If he did I would have been pissed thinking he even have the fucking nerve to call. Then some time ago someone arranged a booking via text, I asked them to call to confirm etc then got this text "?100 for one hour OK?" I do not charge ?100 an hour. How dare he even demand it as well. Anyways, I told him I can't fuck him for that amount but my male duo partner can fuck him up the ass for that price. He Never responded . What a shame as my guy was horny and was looking forward to fucking a man's asshole that night :-[ But yh, that's how it goes. Some escorts allow haggling because they are desperate then suddenly they think we are all desperate.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 21 July 2016, 05:55:16 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 21 July 2016, 02:31:44 pm
Hi,

I went through your profile and found it to be very intriguing.

And..Delete. Pretentious words = instant delete
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 21 July 2016, 07:05:45 pm
I got 2 different texts, 2 different people.

1 ' how about i bring my dog round to lick your pussy'

2  ' you up for a k9 meet?'

As an animal lover and canine behaviourist, these kinda messages really fuck me off   >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 21 July 2016, 08:04:19 pm
Quote from: Rainbow on 21 July 2016, 07:05:45 pm
I got 2 different texts, 2 different people.

1 ' how about i bring my dog round to lick your pussy'

2  ' you up for a k9 meet?'

As an animal lover and canine behaviourist, these kinda messages really fuck me off   >:(

Oh god. Now that IS concerning :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 21 July 2016, 08:27:12 pm
Quote from: Jessica201 on 21 July 2016, 05:37:25 pm
I don't even let them kiss me after giving me oral :-X lol. One time my friend was wanking himself next to me and he put his precum in his mouth. I gagged. I just couldn't believe.  :-\
When I'm seriously horny I always taste my fingers! And I think pre cum tastes better than cum x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 22 July 2016, 05:04:07 pm
text last night
"tell me you love me & I'll make you pregnant" xx
what a weird text to send a sex worker. Some serious issues there.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 22 July 2016, 05:51:25 pm
Quote from: Chatterly on 22 July 2016, 05:04:07 pm
text last night
"tell me you love me & I'll make you pregnant" xx
what a weird text to send a sex worker. Some serious issues there.

I've had similar before..."I'll pay you ?600 for anal and bb, I want to get you pregnant..." Err...no, I don't want your diseases or feral child.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 22 July 2016, 06:57:56 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 21 July 2016, 01:51:30 pm
I've got one of those, too. He's figured out that I've blocked his number. Said that he didn't know why, except that when he had car trouble when he booked me last. He gave me his number and I looked it up. While I don't remember him, he's saved under "no show." I told him that I don't give second chances.
I've got one who figured it out, he emailed with, "Hi k i think u got me mixed u n blocked me lol "

Definitely not mixed up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 22 July 2016, 08:26:28 pm
Anyone else had this email?



hello hun

would you like to visit athens in greece ?

i live in athens and work as an expat, british citizen, renting a nice 4 bed furnished house in upscale northern athens

will cover all expenses flights restaurants accomodation local travel etc etc such that this is an all expenses covered relaxing break for you but NO other costs hun

if you like it first time then maybe we can make it a regular affair. if you nice and you like me as well then you may move in with me permanently if you want

if interested whatsapp me on my uk number [personal information removed] or may be even better we speak on facetime / skype. you can whatsapp me anytime and can also see my profile display pic on whatsapp. at some stage we must chat on skype or facetime if you are serious else there is not much point. my skype is: [personal information removed]
am 35 year old, male, live alone here in athens as family back in london, soft spoken, nice, educated, i keep in shape, always use condom etc. during your stay we may or may not have sex, for example when a girl last visited me we did not have sex but still had cuddles and kisses

you should be clean, free from drugs, trustworthy etc
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 22 July 2016, 09:49:55 pm
Quote from: Chatterly on 22 July 2016, 05:04:07 pm
text last night
"tell me you love me & I'll make you pregnant" xx
what a weird text to send a sex worker. Some serious issues there.

Breeding fetish.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 22 July 2016, 09:52:09 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 22 July 2016, 08:26:28 pm
Anyone else had this email?



hello hun

would you like to visit athens in greece ?

i live in athens and work as an expat, british citizen, renting a nice 4 bed furnished house in upscale northern athens

will cover all expenses flights restaurants accomodation local travel etc etc such that this is an all expenses covered relaxing break for you but NO other costs hun

if you like it first time then maybe we can make it a regular affair. if you nice and you like me as well then you may move in with me permanently if you want

if interested whatsapp me on my uk number [personal information removed] or may be even better we speak on facetime / skype. you can whatsapp me anytime and can also see my profile display pic on whatsapp. at some stage we must chat on skype or facetime if you are serious else there is not much point. my skype is: [personal information removed]
am 35 year old, male, live alone here in athens as family back in london, soft spoken, nice, educated, i keep in shape, always use condom etc. during your stay we may or may not have sex, for example when a girl last visited me we did not have sex but still had cuddles and kisses

you should be clean, free from drugs, trustworthy etc

Doing the rounds, search Athens on here.

edit: ummm, for some reason it's not coming up, but I have definitely seen this at least 3 or 4 times recently. May have been also seen elsewhere.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 22 July 2016, 10:02:19 pm
That is weird - I can't find it either and it's been here at least three times in the last few months.

Either way, if anybody's going to copy and paste these things can you please check for and edit out contact information before you do? :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissFlint on 23 July 2016, 12:25:22 am
Quote from: Kendra on 10 July 2016, 08:22:09 am
Hi flawless, how's u? thought id drop you a message...ive had a few bad experiences on aw but Like they say not all five fingers are them same, You seem professional. I will tell you why it was a bad experience , I arrived at the door, looked like she had jus woke up no make up no sexy lingerie, stockings or heels as requested but a pair of fluffy pink slippers and a pink gown, told me to go straight into her room no greeting at the door no kiss on the cheek or a cuddle, nothing. So we get into the room and I sat down on the bed, handed over the money and she said take your clothes off and lie down their, I said yes madam and done so thinking this is more like a sentence than a girlfriend experience, no oral without and kissed like a duck once or twice, nightmare! I was expecting something more like I come to the door with flowers and wine its opened by a sexy lady wearing sexy black lingerie with the stockings and stiletto heels with some nice make up, maybe pink lippy with the pink nails or even red or a sexy colour that suits your skin tone, doors opened a kiss and a cuddle straight away to make it feel like your coming to see your gf, you hold my hand and take me to your room, you kiss me with some more with some passion and suddenly stop and say get your ass in the shower lol so I have a quick shower, come out your lying siping on wine on the bed waiting for me, you tell me to come sit on the bed, so im sitting their with a towel wrapped around me and you then start kissing me as if you want me and sit over me whilst kissing me, you make me ly down and slowly go into a 69 position fully clothed (I think its sexier and more memorable when you 've got your lingerie and heels on) and down on me without a condom just for a short while and I play with you as you do, then you spin around and start kissing me again with some passion and tongue and slip a condom on me and use me however you liked, you fucking me and then get me to fuck you to make you cum while you kiss me till we both cum and are feeling all fuzzy and warm inside lol.. hope that's not too much to ask for or if that's no good to you, but I would remember and recognise a experience like that until I kicked the bucket! hope ive not scared you away, will be glad to send you pic to see me first, im not that bad looking and always take care of my appearance xx
The lack of paragraph breaks made that impossible to read! I hate it when clients write an essay to make a simple booking. No wonder you didn't want to see him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 23 July 2016, 05:33:43 am
Quote from: Rainbow on 21 July 2016, 07:05:45 pm
I got 2 different texts, 2 different people.

1 ' how about i bring my dog round to lick your pussy'

2  ' you up for a k9 meet?'

As an animal lover and canine behaviourist, these kinda messages really fuck me off   >:(

I had a similar text, I googled the phone number and the guys full home address (house number and everything) phone number and full name came up as he had listed the phone number he texted me from as the contact for his business on Google and several business directories. Fool. I replied "(Full Name), if you're going to contact escorts with disgusting and illegal requests then maybe you should consider some attempt at anonymity, as animallovers may ttake offence and quite rightly report you." I received an apology for his "joke" but he contacted a friend with an identical txt not long after. He's hopefully one of those idiots who gets off on getting a reaction, I can't imagine anything more disgusting and I really hope that it's not a genuine enquiry.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 23 July 2016, 09:15:07 am
Quote from: amy on 22 July 2016, 10:02:19 pm
That is weird - I can't find it either and it's been here at least three times in the last few months.

Either way, if anybody's going to copy and paste these things can you please check for and edit out contact information before you do? :)
Shit sorry!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 23 July 2016, 09:44:36 am
The other day a guy texted if I tied him up in his garage he would pay me ?1,000 - yeh right!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 23 July 2016, 10:42:44 am
Quote from: Lushblossom on 23 July 2016, 09:44:36 am
The other day a guy texted if I tied him up in his garage he would pay me ?1,000 - yeh right!

I had a guy ask me to tie him up and leave him in my shed all day! 

That would be hilarious if a neighbour saw and called police. Try explaining that!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 23 July 2016, 10:44:55 am
Text msg i received

'Can you get me women who would pay  me to fuck them and i will give you a cut of the money'

Guess ive been promoted to pimp!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 23 July 2016, 01:17:29 pm
Quote from: Rainbow on 23 July 2016, 10:44:55 am
Text msg i received

'Can you get me women who would pay  me to fuck them and i will give you a cut of the money'

Guess ive been promoted to pimp!


Too funny  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 23 July 2016, 01:26:19 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 22 July 2016, 08:26:28 pm
Anyone else had this email?



hello hun

would you like to visit athens in greece ?

i live in athens and work as an expat, british citizen, renting a nice 4 bed furnished house in upscale northern athens

will cover all expenses flights restaurants accomodation local travel etc etc such that this is an all expenses covered relaxing break for you but NO other costs hun

if you like it first time then maybe we can make it a regular affair. if you nice and you like me as well then you may move in with me permanently if you want

if interested whatsapp me on my uk number [personal information removed] or may be even better we speak on facetime / skype. you can whatsapp me anytime and can also see my profile display pic on whatsapp. at some stage we must chat on skype or facetime if you are serious else there is not much point. my skype is: [personal information removed]
am 35 year old, male, live alone here in athens as family back in london, soft spoken, nice, educated, i keep in shape, always use condom etc. during your stay we may or may not have sex, for example when a girl last visited me we did not have sex but still had cuddles and kisses

you should be clean, free from drugs, trustworthy etc

I had it yesterday.. asshole x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 24 July 2016, 08:07:43 pm
Received this message via text a few minutes ago. No prior contact from this number, the first text he contacts me with is:
"Hi, I'm in Battersea at the moment" I thought he might text again to explain what on earth he is on about but I received no further messages so I replied-
"Ok... Sorry but I don't know what kind of response you're expecting lol! Battersea is quite far from here, were you contacting me regarding a booking?"
"Yeah ignore me just realised"
"I don't mean to sound rude but was there a reason for you to contact me?"
"Yeah I saw your ad online, thought you were close. Sorry"

I don't honestly know how anyone could think Battersea is anywhere near Leeds. I know he hasn't been rude or abusive etc, I just thought it was a very weird way to go about making a booking!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 24 July 2016, 11:14:49 pm
Italian guy tried to book me another day.... He couldn't afford my rate (I'm not that expensive though) as he is "lacking a budget" ... and he asked me to do DFK with him, he said he's romantic....  :FF I don't kiss clients.
Why not trying to find and contact someone he can afford with services he enjoys ? :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 25 July 2016, 12:10:28 am
Hi Helen saw ur ad, is this the face that lauch a thousand ships n wth ur open legs. I love 2b invited 2sample the delight of ur pussy pls let this hearing impaird male no I'm welcum 2 shag u. x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 25 July 2016, 10:27:58 am
Quote from: MrsTomHardy on 23 July 2016, 01:26:19 pm
I had it yesterday.. asshole x

Me too - and I have his last message to me so even if I didn't know about it from Saafe I'd be able to see how much of a copy and paste job it is!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 25 July 2016, 02:01:25 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 25 July 2016, 12:10:28 am
Hi Helen saw ur ad, is this the face that lauch a thousand ships n wth ur open legs. I love 2b invited 2sample the delight of ur pussy pls let this hearing impaird male no I'm welcum 2 shag u. x



Ah bless he's put a lot of thought into that chat up line, you will invite him to shag you won't you?  :D  lmao  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 25 July 2016, 03:11:31 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 25 July 2016, 12:10:28 am
Hi Helen saw ur ad, is this the face that lauch a thousand ships n wth ur open legs. I love 2b invited 2sample the delight of ur pussy pls let this hearing impaird male no I'm welcum 2 shag u. x


I don't know which part of this message I find funnier. You obviously told him he's welcum 2 shag u. *shudders*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 25 July 2016, 05:40:21 pm
"Hi baby, you free?"
I ignored him.
"Your loss slag"
 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 25 July 2016, 06:42:21 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 25 July 2016, 05:40:21 pm
"Hi baby, you free?"
I ignored him.
"Your loss slag"
 ::)

Charming!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 25 July 2016, 09:18:24 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 25 July 2016, 05:40:21 pm
"Hi baby, you free?"
I ignored him.
"Your loss slag"
 ::)

Oh God, I'd have to reply: 'takes one to know one'.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 25 July 2016, 09:31:49 pm
Email via adultwork today:

Hello you, I am a 54 year old gentleman whose body doesn't quite work as good as it used to. I thought I would offer you the opportunity to make a little extra money on WEDNESDAY MORN THE 27TH AT 10AM, I am looking to spend around 15 to 20 minutes undressing you kissing your body and going down on you and for which I will pay you ?30, I hope this doesn't offend you that's the last thing I want, I would love to hear back from you, thanks, mark x gone are the days when I did an hour in the Sheffield scene days with (another escorts name) (and another) (and another ex escort) were around xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 25 July 2016, 09:52:06 pm
Quote from: katrina on 25 July 2016, 09:31:49 pm
Email via adultwork today:

Hello you, I am a 54 year old gentleman whose body doesn't quite work as good as it used to. I thought I would offer you the opportunity to make a little extra money on WEDNESDAY MORN THE 27TH AT 10AM, I am looking to spend around 15 to 20 minutes undressing you kissing your body and going down on you and for which I will pay you ?30, I hope this doesn't offend you that's the last thing I want, I would love to hear back from you, thanks, mark x gone are the days when I did an hour in the Sheffield scene days with (another escorts name) (and another) (and another ex escort) were around xxx

Oh god, I'm touring Sheffield this weekend. Can't wait to hear from him  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 25 July 2016, 10:15:31 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 25 July 2016, 09:52:06 pm
Oh god, I'm touring Sheffield this weekend. Can't wait to hear from him  :D


Please don't take him off me, he sounds like the perfect client that every woman wants  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 26 July 2016, 11:31:16 am
I've had "fuck you yes?" This week as well as "you want to be my bit on the side, no charge ;-) "
Lord.....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 26 July 2016, 04:04:06 pm
Text i got  yesterday

'Could you do my fantasy? I want you to make me watch you sit on my toy cars and break them with your bum, telling me its for my own good as im too old for them'

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 26 July 2016, 04:20:53 pm
Quote from: Rainbow on 26 July 2016, 04:04:06 pm
Text i got  yesterday

'Could you do my fantasy? I want you to make me watch you sit on my toy cars and break them with your bum, telling me its for my own good as im too old for them'

He's doing the rounds. Giantess/crush fetish.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 26 July 2016, 07:25:42 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 26 July 2016, 04:20:53 pm
He's doing the rounds. Giantess/crush fetish.
I pretended to be a giantess once. With a 1 litre carton of Ribena and a straw. I felt huge :D Not for a client, just my own amusement!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 26 July 2016, 08:38:35 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 26 July 2016, 07:25:42 pm
I pretended to be a giantess once. With a 1 litre carton of Ribena and a straw. I felt huge :D Not for a client, just my own amusement!

Lol, i wanna play!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 26 July 2016, 09:51:54 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 26 July 2016, 07:25:42 pm
I pretended to be a giantess once. With a 1 litre carton of Ribena and a straw. I felt huge :D Not for a client, just my own amusement!

Haha!!! OMG, I love it!!! What an idea for a fetish clip! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 26 July 2016, 11:12:41 pm
new profile set up today sends me this


Quote
Good afternoon :)
How are you?
I hope you are good and busy

Really sorry for the message and to bother you but I was wondering if you would be in need of a driver/security/business partner?

Basically I would drive you around, collect you, go to the shops for you, manage your bookings etc ... Well, pretty much anything you wanted really.

I drive a brand new Volvo V40 ... So you would be driven around in luxury.

I am an Engineer to trade but I have gotten a bit bored of the mundane office job, so I am hoping to meet someone new, friendly and build an empire together

I would love to hear back from you and answer any questions you may have
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 27 July 2016, 08:58:18 am
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 26 July 2016, 11:12:41 pm
new profile set up today sends me this

tempting  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 27 July 2016, 09:02:25 am
In the last 2 weeks I've had 5 emails about bareback. Jeez !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 27 July 2016, 12:35:32 pm
There is definitely an increase in to requests for BB riverprice. 


Just had a text
Hi I you work ANAL.  I come visit if ANAL work
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 27 July 2016, 01:43:28 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 27 July 2016, 12:35:32 pm
There is definitely an increase in to requests for BB riverprice. 


Just had a text

Hi I you work ANAL.  I come visit if ANAL work

And does you anal work? Lol

I had one ' if i can do eveything whit no charge i come now'  i didnt reply, he then sent another message 'text me address or i looking for different girl'

Fuck you!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 27 July 2016, 04:01:04 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 26 July 2016, 11:12:41 pm
new profile set up today sends me this

Ah yes "I want a cut for doing all these mundane tasks you can do yourself for free." He also probably expects free sex on top of that too lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 27 July 2016, 06:27:11 pm
Quote from: Rainbow on 26 July 2016, 04:04:06 pm
Text i got  yesterday

'Could you do my fantasy? I want you to make me watch you sit on my toy cars and break them with your bum, telling me its for my own good as im too old for them'

Oh. I got this too. Damn it, I thought I was special  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 27 July 2016, 07:15:16 pm
Quote from: katrina on 25 July 2016, 09:31:49 pm
Email via adultwork today:

Hello you, I am a 54 year old gentleman whose body doesn't quite work as good as it used to. I thought I would offer you the opportunity to make a little extra money on WEDNESDAY MORN THE 27TH AT 10AM, I am looking to spend around 15 to 20 minutes undressing you kissing your body and going down on you and for which I will pay you ?30, I hope this doesn't offend you that's the last thing I want, I would love to hear back from you, thanks, mark x gone are the days when I did an hour in the Sheffield scene days with (another escorts name) (and another) (and another ex escort) were around xxx
Is it just me that's cringes at anyone that says "hello you"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 27 July 2016, 07:44:11 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 27 July 2016, 07:15:16 pm
Is it just me that's cringes at anyone that says "hello you"


I find it a bit odd too.


Another email via adultwork: "nice strap ons u got do sell your thongs xx" 


Just lately I've had so many guys more interested in my strap ons than me  :FF think I might start pimping them out, charge 100 an hour just leave them in the room with the strap ons and underwear   ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 27 July 2016, 09:08:13 pm
good grief they're out in force this month!

another new profile sent...

Quote
Dear Minx,

Your profile seems to have grabbed my attention henceforth I would love to go on a dinner date with you if you don't mind.

I would like to introduce myself as a well mannered good looking young gentleman of average built coming from an affluent background. Neither am I English nor am I white. I am not a local I visit UK often on a tour. Due to my high status I wont be able to disclose much information about me on email but would rather prefer to discuss it in person.

I have never tried this website before but on a friend's recommendation thought of giving it a try. All my previous meetings were through UK's elite escort agencies like sugarbabesinternational.

Our dinner date would be for a total of 12 hours starting at 6 p.m. and ending at 6 a.m. for a price of ?6000. I will pay you 10 % i.e. ?600 deposit to secure booking so as to assure you my offer is genuine. I am paying this high price since my request is a bit out of the ordinary as you will read further in the email.

Details of our dinner date would be as follows :

My chauffeur will pick you up at 6 p.m. from your location.

We will then first head to a testing facility I know of to get ourselves tested for STI and get instant results. As I lose sensitivity I wont be using condoms and would expect you to be on birth control or else you could use the pill.

After that we will be going to my hotel I have my suite booked there.

We would then engage in a conversation have dinner and head to my suite to start our naughty time together.

Our rendezvous will end at about 6 a.m. and my chauffeur will drop you home. Although if you wish you could stay for breakfast.

In case you you do not want my chauffeur to pick you up or drop you I am ready to pay for the taxi.

Some of the replies I have got from girls on here is that they think I am lying which is certainly not true I am ready to pay a deposit so please if you are not interested just ignore this email but do not accuse me of lying as I never lie. Its a win win situation for you if you do not receive the deposit you don't have to show up it cannot get anymore genuine than that. Moreover I have not wasted 20 minutes in writing this email for nothing.

Please let me know you decision.

Thank You
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 27 July 2016, 09:14:13 pm
My my, he's got it all planned out hasn't he. I wonder where his testing facility is. A private lab somewhere perhaps? haha Sounds like something out of a Sci Fi movie.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 27 July 2016, 09:16:11 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 27 July 2016, 09:08:13 pm
good grief they're out in force this month!

another new profile sent...
A testing facility! How tempting.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 27 July 2016, 09:48:22 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 27 July 2016, 09:08:13 pm
good grief they're out in force this month!

another new profile sent...

hahah! I just came on here to post the very same email.

He's just joined the site but other girls have accused him of lying.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 27 July 2016, 10:14:52 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 27 July 2016, 09:48:22 pm
hahah! I just came on here to post the very same email.

He's just joined the site but other girls have accused him of lying.
Me too! Wow, he must have bulk posted to everyone :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 27 July 2016, 10:33:19 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 27 July 2016, 09:08:13 pm
good grief they're out in force this month!

another new profile sent...

I just got this one this evening!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 27 July 2016, 11:44:07 pm
Aww I thought I was special hahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlaqHarlot on 28 July 2016, 12:19:37 am
Email earlier from a mr no feedback

Asked if he could book me for 6pm tomorrow but before giving the money he asked can he check my mouth, inside of my pussy and my ass...

I replied with a polite "in your dreams" and a block!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 28 July 2016, 07:24:49 am
"I know you said not to text but blah blah blah." So why are you doing it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 28 July 2016, 08:14:19 am
Quote from: katrina on 27 July 2016, 07:44:11 pm

I find it a bit odd too.


Another email via adultwork: "nice strap ons u got do sell your thongs xx" 


Just lately I've had so many guys more interested in my strap ons than me  :FF think I might start pimping them out, charge 100 an hour just leave them in the room with the strap ons and underwear   ::)
When I go to dubai on my last day of work I put on my add Used Strap On For Sale
Phone goes mental I always manage to sell it at a ?250 profit 😃
If I could figure out a way to smuggle in lots of seconds toys I wouldn't bother working 😄

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tanya01 on 28 July 2016, 09:39:29 am
THIS IS THE EMAIL I WOKE UP TO THIS MORNING I DONT BELIEVE FOR A MINUTE ITS REAL !


Your profile seems to have grabbed my attention henceforth I would love to go on a dinner date with you if you don't mind.

I would like to introduce myself as a well mannered good looking young gentleman of average built coming from an affluent background. Neither am I English nor am I white. I am not a local I visit UK often on a tour. Due to my high status I wont be able to disclose much information about me on email but would rather prefer to discuss it in person.

I have never tried this website before but on a friend's recommendation thought of giving it a try. All my previous meetings were through UK's elite escort agencies like sugarbabesinternational.

Our dinner date would be for a total of 12 hours starting at 6 p.m. and ending at 6 a.m. for a price of ?6000. I will pay you 10 % i.e. ?600 deposit to secure booking so as to assure you my offer is genuine. I am paying this high price since my request is a bit out of the ordinary as you will read further in the email.

Details of our dinner date would be as follows :

My chauffeur will pick you up at 6 p.m. from your location.

We will then first head to a testing facility I know of to get ourselves tested for STI and get instant results. As I lose sensitivity I wont be using condoms and would expect you to be on birth control or else you could use the pill.

After that we will be going to my hotel I have my suite booked there.

We would then engage in a conversation have dinner and head to my suite to start our naughty time together.

Our rendezvous will end at about 6 a.m. and my chauffeur will drop you home. Although if you wish you could stay for breakfast.

In case you you do not want my chauffeur to pick you up or drop you I am ready to pay for the taxi.

Some of the replies I have got from girls on here is that they think I am lying which is certainly not true I am ready to pay a deposit so please if you are not interested just ignore this email but do not accuse me of lying as I never lie. Its a win win situation for you if you do not receive the deposit you don't have to show up it cannot get anymore genuine than that. Moreover I have not wasted 20 minutes in writing this email for nothing.

Please let me know you decision.

Thank You
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Happychick on 28 July 2016, 09:48:57 am
Quote from: Tanya01 on 28 July 2016, 09:39:29 am
THIS IS THE EMAIL I WOKE UP TO THIS MORNING I DONT BELIEVE FOR A MINUTE ITS REAL !
[giant quote redacted]

I had this one yesterday  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 28 July 2016, 10:23:37 am
Yes about 5 other escorts mentioned this email yesterday on here.He's clearly not having much luck is he? :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 28 July 2016, 10:25:41 am
Via text at around 23:45:Inappropriate I know but are you available?
If they know it's inappropriate then they know I don't work at that time of night so why bother me? :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seleranda on 28 July 2016, 10:36:55 am
A couple of weeks ago via Skype chat:

Him (before adding me): Hello, I'd like to make a booking. When could we talk about it?
Him (after I accepted the contact add): Hello
Me: Hello =)
Him: When can we meet?
Me: Before anything else, I'd like to know if you understand and are happy with what I offer and my conditions.
Him: I think so.
Me (a bit surprised): You think so?
Him: Yeah, it's not that complicated, isn't it?
Me: Of course not.
Him (2 min later): Would you do a bukkake for 2,000 euros?
Me: Looks like it was THAT complicated.

*This is a translation, sorry for any mistakes.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 28 July 2016, 02:33:51 pm
Text at 00:20 "Babe send adress"
I ignored it
00:50 "fuck you i book your friend"


WTF?  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LovePod on 28 July 2016, 06:51:32 pm
Him: Would you be available for a one hour booking tomorrow morning?
Me: Yes, I would be free at 10:30 :)
Him: That might be a bit late, can we do earlier? I need to leave by latest 12pm.
Me: Sorry can't do earlier but 10.30 should work if you want to book for one hour
Him: Yes but I don't like to be rushed babe, I like to take things slow

Yes please, pay me for one hour but stay two, can't wait ..... blocked  :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 28 July 2016, 09:34:07 pm
Text received

' bitch, book me an hour'

Ayup, that'll do it! Twat!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KDB on 29 July 2016, 07:28:28 am
Quote from: Tanya01 on 28 July 2016, 09:39:29 am
THIS IS THE EMAIL I WOKE UP TO THIS MORNING I DONT BELIEVE FOR A MINUTE ITS REAL !

[redacted]

Haha this knob just got his babble screen capped to my twitter after he cut & pasted it en masse.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 29 July 2016, 10:39:05 am
Quote from: ParisB on 28 July 2016, 08:14:19 am
When I go to dubai on my last day of work I put on my add Used Strap On For Sale
Phone goes mental I always manage to sell it at a ?250 profit 😃
If I could figure out a way to smuggle in lots of seconds toys I wouldn't bother working 😄


Oh my god that is crazy! Brilliant though  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 29 July 2016, 10:50:01 am
Girls, this is funny  ;D

"Dear .....

Thanks so much for sharing your beautiful profile.

I would like to just ask you whether you'd be comfortable with the following. If not, then I completely understand!

I'm actually mostly interested in foreplay. Basically, I would like you to be in control, if you're okay with that. I'm a university lecturer and I have female students mostly and for once I'd like one of them to have a go at me, seduce me, almost aggressively. But I'd like her to deny me entering her or getting into her panties in any way, because I'm her lecturer and lecturers can't do that. So, she never takes them off. And she tells me what to do, or not do, to please her, and I obey. And she can do what she wishes with me when I'm naked, just not 'that'.

This is a break from me telling others to be on time and reprimand them, etc.

I Hope this is okay... If so, can I then meet you? If not, then I understand.

Best,


Barend"
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 29 July 2016, 12:40:56 pm
29th May
Hi .you are bbw , a man same sizeas you is not ideal ! I am English 5' 4" - generous sized cock ! Circumsized x if you Like to give owo - txy me x ask me size if you want .
(Cock pic follows with the message)... 5' 3" English . Big cock for Short man ! You ok for booking ?

28th July 00.27am...
Well , hello to you Helen (and the mighty fine pair of them) Very nice tits xx Its "nailed" on that we will be compatible for some real fun x I'm Michael , if you like to suck a good sized knob with helmet to match give me a reply pls . ask my age , height - or how big it is, if you want ,x RSVP . ur sexy

28th July 01.22am
Another cock pic - We gotta meet Helen xx. mick x

28th July 01.22am
Hi Helen .I'm 5' 4" and if you don't mind me being a bit younger than you. I'm sure a good session is a cert x I took pic after my evening shower Will send

28th July 01.51am
Another cock pic with message Helen . my dearest darling Helen .had shower , goin bed soon cant shake this ' near hard on ' !! We got to get together x you ok ??

28th July 11.26am
Hi I have sent you couple messages darling , you ok to meet

29th July 00.38am
Hi , my black mate ( of over 25 yrs ) have had succesfull 30 - 45 mins meets x do you offer

29th July 01.12am
yxt me if ur not up for it

29th July 06.25am
Hi Helen , I'm 47 yrs old is that wrong age for you hun ?

29th July 06.33am
Helen , I am very good at fucking .. big tits are my thing x Its a sure thing that  will get Rock Hard x you can slide up and down it , or If you want and my favourite is you Laying on you back , Legs held up / back my big helmet will sink in deep inside you xx did you see pics ?

29th July 12.24pm
Hi Helen , I'm mike , white English do you want to meet for some fun x

 :FF :FF :FF :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 29 July 2016, 02:49:35 pm
I'll bet it's the same Mick who has been texting me.Exact same sort of texts banging on about his cock and sending pics.My favourite text was just after the cock pic where he informed it was his shaft with the bellend poking higher almost like he was pointing out his holiday snaps..!
Keeps going on about sliding it deep,6 of this texts were sent before 7am on a Saturday morning..then when his texts were ignored he tried ringing and then texting for a couple days after..twat!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 29 July 2016, 03:12:03 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 29 July 2016, 02:49:35 pm
I'll bet it's the same Mick who has been texting me.Exact same sort of texts banging on about his cock and sending pics.My favourite text was just after the cock pic where he informed it was his shaft with the bellend poking higher almost like he was pointing out his holiday snaps..!
Keeps going on about sliding it deep,6 of this texts were sent before 7am on a Saturday morning..then when his texts were ignored he tried ringing and then texting for a couple days after..twat!
Sounds about right Bibi.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 29 July 2016, 06:37:33 pm
Email received

'Hope you are well?

After viewing your profile I would love to meet you for a 3 hour incall on 26th August at 4pm. I know it is far away but i like to book in advance.

I love the girlfriend experince and love giving oral with plenty of deep french kissing.

A bit about me i am half Italian and half arabic work as a global project manager, but be warned i have alot of sexual energy, so i hope you can keep up with me.'

Hmmm, it's a pit that such an educated man couldn't cope with reading my profile where it clearing states that I dont accept advanced bookings from new clients AND I only allow newbies a maximum of 1 hour. And who do they feel it necessary to tell me what they do for a living?!  And if I wasn't already put off from this bullshit email, then the fact that he brags about his sexual energy DEFINITELY puts me off. I don't have the energy to go at it for 3 hours!  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 29 July 2016, 08:38:56 pm
Quote from: Rainbow on 29 July 2016, 06:37:33 pm

" the fact that he brags about his sexual energy DEFINITELY puts me off. I don't have the energy to go at it for 3 hours!  :o "


Totally agree with you. How put an escort off straight away? Tell her you are going to pummel her for hours.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 29 July 2016, 11:16:05 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 29 July 2016, 08:38:56 pm
Totally agree with you. How put an escort off straight away? Tell her you are going to pummel her for hours.


I think that would put anyone off...escort or not what woman wants to be pummelled by some random for 3 hours!! What planet are these guys on?!!  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 29 July 2016, 11:18:11 pm
Quote from: katrina on 29 July 2016, 11:16:05 pm
what woman wants to be pummelled by some random for 3 hours!!

I'm fine with it as long as they don't wake me up ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 30 July 2016, 01:26:40 am
Lol Amy
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 30 July 2016, 10:39:14 am
A text message received at 1am "Please don't take this wrong, you are really fit but think you are overpriced X"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 30 July 2016, 12:29:27 pm
'So do you allow spanking?'

Me 'yes, i do, but only mild spanking and no marks are to be left'

'Ok, thats fine, i wont leave marks, but maybe a few welts'

???  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 30 July 2016, 12:49:33 pm
Quote from: Rainbow on 30 July 2016, 12:29:27 pm
'So do you allow spanking?'

Me 'yes, i do, but only mild spanking and no marks are to be left'

'Ok, thats fine, i wont leave marks, but maybe a few welts'

???  :FF

Reminds me of an email I had asking for deepthroat 'nothing extreme just so you gag and puke'. Needless to say he didn't get a reply.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 31 July 2016, 11:55:08 am
Call just received

Him 'hello, is that the escort'

Me 'yes, this is the escort, how can i help?'

Him 'can you tell me how much you charge?'

Me 'depends how long youre after'

Him 'half an hour'

Me 'and what service would you like?'

Him 'errrrr, a little bit of oral errrrr...'

Me ' have you read my profile?'

Him 'errrr, no. I havent, i just skipped through'

 :FF

I dont even know why i bother having any details on my profile!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 31 July 2016, 01:05:51 pm
Quote from: Rainbow on 31 July 2016, 11:55:08 am


 :FF

I dont even know why i bother having any details on my profile!!!


I know the feeling...I keep my availability up to date all the time to save clients wasting their own time trying to book me when I'm not working, do they take any notice? Do they fuck!! Any emails or texts that I get now asking to book at times when I've clearly put not available get ignored and deleted and if off adultwork the sender blocked too   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 31 July 2016, 02:35:18 pm
Im just attracting all the timewasters!! Text message convo ive just had

Him ' yummy mummy?'

Me 'i beg your pardon'

Him ' sorry, nice pics'  'pretty'

Me 'did you want to make a booking, if so you need to call me'

Him 'do you cater for black?'

Me 'all in is on my profile, please have a read'

Him 'not necessary, youre obviously not very friendly'

 :FF

Pffft  im starting to go off men!! 

Do i cater for black!! Yes, i also cater for vegans and lacto intolerant cocks!



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 31 July 2016, 02:51:27 pm
Quote from: Rainbow on 31 July 2016, 11:55:08 am
Call just received

Him 'hello, is that the escort'

That in itself is enough for me to discontinue the conversation.I can't stand people that don't even have enough courtesy to call me by my name which is plastered on my profile.Just pure bloody rude!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 31 July 2016, 03:40:55 pm
"Hello, is that Scarlet?"

Fail!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 31 July 2016, 04:10:22 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 29 July 2016, 03:12:03 pm
Sounds about right Bibi.

Oh I've had 'Mike' too! He is very hairy!

One of his gems was "You will see that some short men are big dick!! And fuck you foreign birds quite well" (I'm English so that made no sense!)

Lots about his height and big dick, how he is single and how much love loves big tits!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 31 July 2016, 05:04:57 pm
I don't bother to check and answer my emails. I only receive emails from TW and perverted guys, that I don't want to see.
If they want to book, they will call.
I couldn't care less if they think I'm fake.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 01 August 2016, 01:41:42 pm
Email entitled 'hello sexy' thanks for giving me the heads up you are a TW!

Wonna chat looking for some fun contact me 07**********
Hope to hear from you soon c

Yeh had me rushing to call him, not.

I seem to get TW contact in rashes....just lately I'm covered in them. Including a guy who contacted me a while back saying he was interested in a booking when my ankle was better. So I sent him a standard update, and received a rambling reply including we could meet up for a few drinks and ending with we can keep in touch via email in the meantime?

Hmmm let me think, NO YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND!! Or a potential client, so that = TW. So no reply for you then.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 01 August 2016, 02:08:13 pm
Would you like to be used and abused by a younger man?
Spit in your face, spank and slap you, gagging, facefucking, pissing, hairpulling, choking, pounding.

Down for that? x

 ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 01 August 2016, 02:58:55 pm
Quote from: LadyOfTheNight on 01 August 2016, 01:41:42 pm
Email entitled 'hello sexy' thanks for giving me the heads up you are a TW!

Wonna chat looking for some fun contact me 07**********
Hope to hear from you soon c

Yeh had me rushing to call him, not.

I seem to get TW contact in rashes....just lately I'm covered in them. Including a guy who contacted me a while back saying he was interested in a booking when my ankle was better. So I sent him a standard update, and received a rambling reply including we could meet up for a few drinks and ending with we can keep in touch via email in the meantime?

Hmmm let me think, NO YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND!! Or a potential client, so that = TW. So no reply for you then.

'Escort's friends wannabies ' message me on WhatsApp. They ask "how are you", they say about their life etc. (I couldn't care less), when I ask if they want a booking... silence ... and then after several days questions about how I am again  ;D
Do they think we are that lonely?  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 02 August 2016, 11:58:26 am
Phonecall:Is that Bibi?
Me:Yes
Him:Really?Wow!Just been looking at your pictures, your amazing!
Me:Thanks...
Him:Was just wondering if you wanted to go watch a film instead..
Me:Instead of what?
Him:Well instead of you know..
Me:Instead of being paid for sex?So you are asking me out on a date?
Him:Yeah
Me:Nah I prefer to get paid for sex,I'm a prostitute that's what I do.
Him:Really?
Me:Yep bye!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 02 August 2016, 12:02:06 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 02 August 2016, 11:58:26 am
Phonecall:Is that Bibi?
Me:Yes
Him:Really?Wow!Just been looking at your pictures, your amazing!
Me:Thanks...
Him:Was just wondering if you wanted to go watch a film instead..
Me:Instead of what?
Him:Well instead of you know..
Me:Instead of being paid for sex?So you are asking me out on a date?
Him:Yeah
Me:Nah I prefer to get paid for sex,I'm a prostitute that's what I do.
Him:Really?
Me:Yep bye!
Love it! When I say to guys I'm a prostitute some say "Oh don't say that, you're an escort it's different" no it's not darling!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 02 August 2016, 12:24:10 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 01 August 2016, 02:08:13 pm
Would you like to be used and abused by a younger man?
Spit in your face, spank and slap you, gagging, facefucking, pissing, hairpulling, choking, pounding.

Down for that? x

 ::) ::)

Translation: "I watch porn on the internet and have never had a real woman in my life"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 02 August 2016, 12:26:45 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 02 August 2016, 12:02:06 pm
Love it! When I say to guys I'm a prostitute some say "Oh don't say that, you're an escort it's different" no it's not darling!

For some reason they seem to think escort sounds nicer and more classy. It's all the same thing. Are there girls out there who don't like calling themselves prostitutes?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 02 August 2016, 03:25:14 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 02 August 2016, 12:26:45 pm
Are there girls out there who don't like calling themselves prostitutes?

Lots of them. For many people it's a slur. Those folks usually just call themselves sexworkers rather than escorts, though.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 02 August 2016, 03:29:23 pm
Quote from: The_Lynx on 02 August 2016, 03:25:14 pm
Lots of them. For many people it's a slur. Those folks usually just call themselves sexworkers rather than escorts, though.
I think a lot of punters don't like to admit the prostitute word, maybe makes them feel bad? I've no problem saying I'm a prostitute but many do, I've heard of girls saying that street workers are prostitutes not indes.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 02 August 2016, 03:43:29 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 02 August 2016, 03:29:23 pm
I think a lot of punters don't like to admit the prostitute word, maybe makes them feel bad?

I think it's more that it's a very clinical term, it just doesn't sound particularly good and has a lot more negative connotations.

I'm a firm believer in just calling each other a sexworker or a provider unless someone specifies a preferred term. As for folks pulling the whorearchy card on street workers, that's pretty depressing but wholly unsurprising.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 02 August 2016, 04:02:41 pm
I don't particularly like the word prostitute. Not sure why, I'm perfectly happy to be called whore, hooker, sex worker, working girl or escort. I prefer "whore" actually, despite is generally being used pejoratively.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 02 August 2016, 05:17:10 pm
I dont care what im called. My fella calls me a whore, my parents call me an escort. All of them hate me calling mself a prostitute
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 02 August 2016, 05:25:32 pm
I don't mind calling myself a prostitute I'd rather that than call myself whore but if the hat fits....sex worker is very PC and OK I guess.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 02 August 2016, 05:39:21 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 02 August 2016, 05:25:32 pm
sex worker is very PC and OK I guess.

At the end of the day, the way people talk about things shapes how they perceive them. The term sexworker has been made squarely to drive the 'work' part home to people who have very odd notions about what we do.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 02 August 2016, 05:54:22 pm
Quote from: Rainbow on 02 August 2016, 05:17:10 pm
I dont care what im called. My fella calls me a whore, my parents call me an escort. All of them hate me calling mself a prostitute
My boyfriend calls me a Brass! I like it though
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 02 August 2016, 05:55:37 pm
Quote from: The_Lynx on 02 August 2016, 05:39:21 pm
At the end of the day, the way people talk about things shapes how they perceive them. The term sexworker has been made squarely to drive the 'work' part home to people who have very odd notions about what we do.
Yes I think sex worker is more appropriate but prostitute really doesn't bother me
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 02 August 2016, 06:21:11 pm
Maybe when people use a word "prostitute " they picture a streetwalker?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 02 August 2016, 06:37:40 pm
Quote from: ladyinred on 02 August 2016, 06:21:11 pm
Maybe when people use a word "prostitute " they picture a streetwalker?
I think some do, also people think escort means going to the theatre and getting paid!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 02 August 2016, 11:48:01 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 02 August 2016, 05:54:22 pm
My boyfriend calls me a Brass! I like it though

Love it!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 03 August 2016, 06:21:04 pm
"Quick 15 minute anal babe, how much?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 03 August 2016, 08:30:54 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 03 August 2016, 06:21:04 pm
"Quick 15 minute anal babe, how much?"

Awww, didnt you book him? Babe? Lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 03 August 2016, 08:42:03 pm
Quote from: Rainbow on 03 August 2016, 08:30:54 pm
Awww, didnt you book him? Babe? Lol
I text back "no problem babe, have you douched?" He replied "your arse not mine"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 03 August 2016, 08:43:03 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 03 August 2016, 08:42:03 pm
I text back "no problem babe, have you douched?" He replied "your arse not mine"

Haha  ;D that cheered me up
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 03 August 2016, 08:45:02 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 03 August 2016, 08:42:03 pm
I text back "no problem babe, have you douched?" He replied "your arse not mine"

Lol, love it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 03 August 2016, 09:11:56 pm
hey bb, fancy leaving work sick and spreading for me  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 03 August 2016, 09:29:53 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 03 August 2016, 09:11:56 pm
hey bb, fancy leaving work sick and spreading for me  :o

How can a girl resist?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 04 August 2016, 02:17:07 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 03 August 2016, 08:42:03 pm
I text back "no problem babe, have you douched?" He replied "your arse not mine"

I do that!!  :D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 04 August 2016, 04:18:03 pm
what???   ???

Quote
Your exquisite face as held my warmth heart captivate ,I can't but say , you are indeed an angel on earth .I must confess you are the best thing have come across in recent times,I suppose God would have created you on a Sunday..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 04 August 2016, 10:13:37 pm
Just reply: 'Do you want a shag or what mate?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 05 August 2016, 01:32:49 pm
Didn't reply.  He's in America do no booking coming from that shower of pish lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 05 August 2016, 02:19:31 pm
"I'd like to make a booking for tonight, 3 hours"
'Ok please ring me'
"I can't I have learning difficulties, do you do pse"
'No, have you read my profile?'
"No I can't"
'So how are you reading my texts?'
"I know numbers"
 ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 05 August 2016, 03:03:54 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 05 August 2016, 02:19:31 pm
"I'd like to make a booking for tonight, 3 hours"
'Ok please ring me'
"I can't I have learning difficulties, do you do pse"
'No, have you read my profile?'
"No I can't"
'So how are you reading my texts?'
"I know numbers"
 ???

Hahahahahaha lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anna Condar on 05 August 2016, 03:23:37 pm
Narks the beejeesus out of me when I get
"Can I see you today"
"Sure, but book through AW please"

***** radio silence*****

Don't waste my time!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 05 August 2016, 05:26:22 pm
Received an email

Him - Can i see you? Im showered and ready to go

Me - you need to call me to make a booking

Him - i cant, my wife checks my phone

As if thats my fucking problem!! Jeez, maybe he should phone someone who gives a shit!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 05 August 2016, 06:21:47 pm
" Hi ,
Would you be interested in pinning me down or tying me down and letting out loud smelly farts in my face ?
Also, making me worship your smelly feet and splatting me with custard pies . I really want you to have a good laugh at my expense.
Regards , "


Whoever is spreading the rumours that I have smelly feet is a liar  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 05 August 2016, 06:26:25 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 05 August 2016, 06:21:47 pm
" Hi ,
Would you be interested in pinning me down or tying me down and letting out loud smelly farts in my face ?
Also, making me worship your smelly feet and splatting me with custard pies . I really want you to have a good laugh at my expense.
Regards , "


Whoever is spreading the rumours that I have smelly feet is a liar  ;D

Haha gave me a good laugh. As an aside would love to throw custard pies at someone! Get out all my stress that way, or whatever
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 05 August 2016, 06:27:20 pm
Someone called me:
Him : Hi, are you based in X ?
Me : yes
Him: can I be your personal bitch?

Hahahaha I laughed loudly and hunged up
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 05 August 2016, 06:29:38 pm
So my profile makes it clear my shortest incall is an an hour, still I get messages like:

hey hun how about just a handjob

immediate iggy
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 05 August 2016, 06:43:05 pm
Quote from: LadyOfTheNight on 05 August 2016, 06:26:25 pm
Haha gave me a good laugh. As an aside would love to throw custard pies at someone! Get out all my stress that way, or whatever
I've done the feet and custard bit, farting I've always declined.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 05 August 2016, 06:43:15 pm
Quote from: LadyOfTheNight on 05 August 2016, 06:26:25 pm
Haha gave me a good laugh. As an aside would love to throw custard pies at someone! Get out all my stress that way, or whatever
I've done the feet and custard bit, farting I've always declined.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 05 August 2016, 06:45:35 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 05 August 2016, 06:43:15 pm
I've done the feet and custard bit, farting I've always declined.

Nia I think you came twice! Sorry couldn't resist. I blame the vino a client got me despite my saying I wasn't drinking atm...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 05 August 2016, 06:49:25 pm
Quote from: LadyOfTheNight on 05 August 2016, 06:45:35 pm
Nia I think you came twice! Sorry couldn't resist. I blame the vino a client got me despite my saying I wasn't drinking atm...
I never cum twice unless there's money involved.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 05 August 2016, 06:53:52 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 05 August 2016, 06:49:25 pm
I never cum twice unless there's money involved.

Great response  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 05 August 2016, 08:36:59 pm
Text just received

Hi easy to find?

What is wrong with these men?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 06 August 2016, 01:48:54 am
This man has been 'promising' to make an escort booking with me for about 4 years. He's cammed quite a bit with me, but over the past year has gone from twice a month long-ish cam sessions to once every 2 months quickie cam sessions. Tonight I snapped and blocked him. NOTE: my prices are the same as ever.


It's been so long.

Your prices have gone up a bit!! But I do know you're worth it. The reason I've not been on for a while is because I'm trying to be a bit more sensible with my spending..

I'm so horny tonight. I'm almost considering going around the corner to see an escort. I've spoken to her already. What do you think?xx

[some other escort's AW profile link]


Yeah. No. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 06 August 2016, 12:48:49 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 06 August 2016, 01:48:54 am


Your prices have gone up a bit!! But I do know you're worth it. The reason I've not been on for a while is because I'm trying to be a bit more sensible with my spending..

I'm so horny tonight. I'm almost considering going around the corner to see an escort. I've spoken to her already. What do you think?xx

[some other escort's AW profile link][/b]

I wonder what his game is...trying to make you jealous so you'll drop your prices or something?  ::)


Yeah. No. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kazzle on 06 August 2016, 01:17:07 pm
Had the family visiting this week so I put up a message across the top of my profile saying I'm having a few days off. This email was sent on Wednesday.

Hi Sugar. I know you say you're having a few days off but I'm going back to work next Monday do you think you can see me anyway? x

Entitled twat and he called me Sugar too!  :FF

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 08 August 2016, 12:48:23 pm
Email received today...

hey babe not sure if you are interested - I was thinking I could come over and take some professional pictures of you for your gallery and private gallery? I do this for a living and have my own business so I am no scam artist :) We can do the photoshoot and get really naughty and filthy whilst doing it if you wanted ;) I am 28 white male - Let me know - John xx
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 08 August 2016, 04:37:43 pm
" hi I have own house and one of my rooms is more set up as a doctors room and looking for right women for sessions within theta length booking for toys fingers objects and if poss physically prieze hand up inside her proper and in past I've paid ?2000 for day and night and I've paid ?5000 cash for 2 nights too compensate everything involved discomfort soreness during and after if interested Carl xx "


WOW What an offer  ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 08 August 2016, 04:43:00 pm
Quote from: ladyinred on 08 August 2016, 04:37:43 pm
" hi I have own house and one of my rooms is more set up as a doctors room and looking for right women for sessions within theta length booking for toys fingers objects and if poss physically prieze hand up inside her proper and in past I've paid ?2000 for day and night and I've paid ?5000 cash for 2 nights too compensate everything involved discomfort soreness during and after if interested Carl xx "


WOW What an offer  ;D ;D

Hey I think I've had contact with this guy a while ago. He wanted to book and for me to wear a catheter during a 'date'. He wasn't explicit about this at first kept going on about toys...it came out during the phone convo. I declined!

His name was Carl. Sounds too similar to be a coincidence, what area are you in?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 08 August 2016, 04:45:42 pm
Quote from: ladyinred on 08 August 2016, 04:37:43 pm
'if poss physically prieze hand up inside her proper'

prieze? Her hand or his hand?

and....WHY?

hahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 08 August 2016, 05:00:47 pm
Quote from: LadyOfTheNight on 08 August 2016, 04:43:00 pm
Hey I think I've had contact with this guy a while ago. He wanted to book and for me to wear a catheter during a 'date'. He wasn't explicit about this at first kept going on about toys...it came out during the phone convo. I declined!

His name was Carl. Sounds too similar to be a coincidence, what area are you in?

Canary Wharf
Ladies , he's mine   ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 08 August 2016, 05:18:24 pm
Quote from: ladyinred on 08 August 2016, 05:00:47 pm
Canary Wharf
Ladies , he's mine   ;D ;D

Sussex I think he's just a fantasist but he sounded very strange on the phone so errr...lemme think ...he's all yours  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 08 August 2016, 07:35:39 pm
Just received a text...

Hi I know this is a strange question but do you have  a hair dryer to play with while giving me a hand job as I like the warm air over my testicals

thank you.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 08 August 2016, 07:38:18 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 08 August 2016, 07:35:39 pm
Just received a text...

Hi I know this is a strange question but do you have  a hair dryer to play with while giving me a hand job as I like the warm air over my testicals

thank you.

I received this text too
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 08 August 2016, 09:14:54 pm
"Hi Hun, it's my birthday, u do any specials"
'Yes double my rate'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissDee on 08 August 2016, 11:12:43 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 08 August 2016, 07:35:39 pm
Just received a text...

Hi I know this is a strange question but do you have  a hair dryer to play with while giving me a hand job as I like the warm air over my testicals

thank you.

For fucks saaake haha! 😂😂😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 09 August 2016, 10:06:07 am
I got asked this morning if I'd go swimming (by a man I have never heard from before). It was terribly polite but...

I asked if he had a private swimming pool, he said no so I asked him where he was thinking of doing this. He replied 'Anywhere if you could find a pool I would gladly cum inside you'

I think not! I declined and he asked me if I knew anyone who would, so girls, I'm offering this one out!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 09 August 2016, 11:18:45 am
Quote from: Wailing Banshee on 09 August 2016, 10:06:07 am
I got asked this morning if I'd go swimming (by a man I have never heard from before). It was terribly polite but...

I asked if he had a private swimming pool, he said no so I asked him where he was thinking of doing this. He replied 'Anywhere if you could find a pool I would gladly cum inside you'

I think not! I declined and he asked me if I knew anyone who would, so girls, I'm offering this one out!

What the actual fuck?????? Total weirdo. I'm guessing also that you've made it very clear you don't do bb. What a knob head. What's next, asking if you have a private jet so he can join the mile high club?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 09 August 2016, 11:22:35 am
Quote from: Miss Delaney on 08 August 2016, 11:12:43 pm
For fucks saaake haha! 😂😂😂

Anyone who says 'testicles' would make me squirm! Not very sexy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 09 August 2016, 11:22:56 am
Quote from: CurlsnCurves on 09 August 2016, 11:18:45 am
What the actual fuck?????? Total weirdo. I'm guessing also that you've made it very clear you don't do bb. What a knob head. What's next, asking if you have a private jet so he can join the mile high club?
Didn't you know that if you do it bb in a pool you can't catch anything? X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 09 August 2016, 04:08:17 pm
"Great profile xxxxx

I'm looking for a strict, confident, young girl to see the pathetic wimp, whose pretty little wife I've been fucking for a couple of years. The wimp rarely complains about sleeping in the spare room when I'm round his or him not being allowed sex with her any more and he always does as he's told, including driving me home at 4.00 Sunday morning after I'd finished with his wife, so as I'm such a nice man, I like to reward the runt occasionally by arranging for a girl to make him cum.

On the occasions I've arranged for him to see an escort before, nerves got the better of him and he made a bit of a fool of himself resulting in girls laughing at him, lol, but the pathetic, useless wimp assures me that he wants to see other girls if allowed.

He isn't allowed penetrative sex, including oral, or to touch between the upper thigh and waist (the Wimp Free Zone) and he will be expected to do as he's told and show respect at all times, which he will do as he knows exactly what will happen to him if he doesn't and I ever find out and I'm sure you'll know exactly how to deal with him.

A bit of attention, a snog, a feel of your awesome looking body and your tits (he mustn't touch your bum though) and you giving him hand relief will do the Wimp just fine but he also needs reminding exactly what a pathetic wimp he is and made to show proper respect.

If it's not your thing, fine but hopefully we can sort something for him as you look and sound ideal but if you've got better things to do than faff about over a worthless little Runt, I totally understand.

Thanks.

Gary x"
 

WTF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 09 August 2016, 04:35:36 pm
Quote from: ladyinred on 09 August 2016, 04:08:17 pm
"Great profile xxxxx

I'm looking for a strict, confident, young girl to see the pathetic wimp, whose pretty little wife I've been fucking for a couple of years. The wimp rarely complains about sleeping in the spare room when I'm round his or him not being allowed sex with her any more and he always does as he's told, including driving me home at 4.00 Sunday morning after I'd finished with his wife, so as I'm such a nice man, I like to reward the runt occasionally by arranging for a girl to make him cum.

On the occasions I've arranged for him to see an escort before, nerves got the better of him and he made a bit of a fool of himself resulting in girls laughing at him, lol, but the pathetic, useless wimp assures me that he wants to see other girls if allowed.

He isn't allowed penetrative sex, including oral, or to touch between the upper thigh and waist (the Wimp Free Zone) and he will be expected to do as he's told and show respect at all times, which he will do as he knows exactly what will happen to him if he doesn't and I ever find out and I'm sure you'll know exactly how to deal with him.

A bit of attention, a snog, a feel of your awesome looking body and your tits (he mustn't touch your bum though) and you giving him hand relief will do the Wimp just fine but he also needs reminding exactly what a pathetic wimp he is and made to show proper respect.

If it's not your thing, fine but hopefully we can sort something for him as you look and sound ideal but if you've got better things to do than faff about over a worthless little Runt, I totally understand.

Thanks.

Gary x"
 

WTF
I'm certain I've had this email? It was a woman though as a cuckold thing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 09 August 2016, 05:04:20 pm
Sometimes you only need to see the length of the email before saying "time wasting fantasist"  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 09 August 2016, 11:10:10 pm
Email: hi I'd love to fuck you missionary

You will have to go on wanting Sonny Jim
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 10 August 2016, 12:21:00 am
Been in my day job today and out doing Edinburgh festivally stuff tonight so phone was left at home. Just home to about 12 messages from the same guy. 

?
Travel?
U week
????
Travel?
Up?
Free?
Travel?
Wn2 fuc

And a couple of others all a variation on that theme and all sent withing about a 30 minutes periof this afternoon


Twonk!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 10 August 2016, 12:45:47 am
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 09 August 2016, 05:04:20 pm
Sometimes you only need to see the length of the email before saying "time wasting fantasist"  ::)

Totally agree with this! 99.9% of AW messages over half a dozen lines long are inevitably fantasists who seem to think that i'd be interested in their fantasies. Which im not!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 10 August 2016, 12:26:05 pm
Phone booking recieved at 12 for a 30 min appointment at 1pm.Just in the middle of texting parking and address details when the same bloke rings again..and says exactly the same thing as when he rang initially to book 'Hi are you available today?Whereabouts in Leeds are you?'
I pointed out he had just spoke to me and booked me for 1pm..and phone goes down.
He then seemed perplexed when I sent him a text to cancel pointing out that genuine clients don't book someone then continue to ring round other hookers and even worse are so flakey they don't even realise they are ringing the same woman..like I'd even bother to waste my time getting ready!
What goes through their minds?!? :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 10 August 2016, 01:40:24 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 10 August 2016, 12:26:05 pm
Phone booking recieved at 12 for a 30 min appointment at 1pm.Just in the middle of texting parking and address details when the same bloke rings again..and says exactly the same thing as when he rang initially to book 'Hi are you available today?Whereabouts in Leeds are you?'
I pointed out he had just spoke to me and booked me for 1pm..and phone goes down.
He then seemed perplexed when I sent him a text to cancel pointing out that genuine clients don't book someone then continue to ring round other hookers and even worse are so flakey they don't even realise they are ringing the same woman..like I'd even bother to waste my time getting ready!
What goes through their minds?!? :FF

I had this happen last week
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 10 August 2016, 06:38:49 pm
Text received

Hey babe in need of deep sloppy cum twice bowjob. Can you help?

Me - No
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sexymilf on 10 August 2016, 09:30:11 pm
I had a client txt to book a half hour. He wantedto come twice and have a golden shower in tht time plus a shower after. WTF. Also had a client ring up asking if he could bring his hoover and can he fuck tht lol xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: WG247 on 11 August 2016, 03:48:11 pm
I usually only put my website on ads but I recently started putting my email as well. This morning this email was in my box and I wanted to share it:

Good evening? My name is xxxx and I'm a 52yr old AA that's a supervisor at Trinity Rail and I'm very interested in making you a new regular. I'm only interested in fairly new and independent females only who are mobile (meaning they're not drove around by fake AA drivers or pimps), because I've had nothing but bad experiences with girls robbing or cash and dash. I'm looking for a beautiful lady like yourself that can DRIVE 1-2 hrs away to Longview Tx and do a date from 11am-11pm tomorrow for $3000.00 cash? Yes I'm serious and I'm a verified client and I can exchange pics with you and send references from previous girls who've been out here, but I won't wire gas or deposits cause sum girls don't show and I won't chance it. No I'm no cop or associated with them by any means so if you absolutely sure you can make that drive tomorrow please call or text me ASAP thanks! (His number)

It amazes me how stupid men think providers are.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 11 August 2016, 09:58:49 pm
God, scarey. I wonder what he has planned for the lucky girl for 12 hours to get his money's worth.

Eeeeekkkk
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 11 August 2016, 10:08:12 pm
Got some texts from a guy today...

Hi I just called you is it possible yu could meet me in xxxx lake car park for a hand relief ime not far working from there and ile still pay ?50 ive only a small penis and cum realy fast iwill be in my car I am genuine.

next text..
Ime only around until lunchtime got to go work in Bristol..

Next text...
Please.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 11 August 2016, 10:32:59 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 11 August 2016, 10:08:12 pm
Got some texts from a guy today...

Hi I just called you is it possible yu could meet me in xxxx lake car park for a hand relief ime not far working from there and ile still pay ?50 ive only a small penis and cum realy fast iwill be in my car I am genuine.

next text..
Ime only around until lunchtime got to go work in Bristol..

Next text...
Please.

of course he is genuine  ;D ;D lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 11 August 2016, 11:03:08 pm
"Hi I'm Peter. Silly question but if a bloke asked you to sell him to a Chinese or Thai takeaway and you could keep the money you get for him would you do it ? "

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 11 August 2016, 11:14:29 pm
Quote from: Juicy1967 on 10 August 2016, 09:30:11 pm
I had a client txt to book a half hour. He wantedto come twice and have a golden shower in tht time plus a shower after. WTF. Also had a client ring up asking if he could bring his hoover and can he fuck tht lol xx

I'm cracking up here. A hoover???? Hahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 11 August 2016, 11:18:31 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 11 August 2016, 11:03:08 pm
"Hi I'm Peter. Silly question but if a bloke asked you to sell him to a Chinese or Thai takeaway and you could keep the money you get for him would you do it ? "

WTF???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 11 August 2016, 11:47:41 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 11 August 2016, 11:03:08 pm
"Hi I'm Peter. Silly question but if a bloke asked you to sell him to a Chinese or Thai takeaway and you could keep the money you get for him would you do it ? "
That one has done the rounds been mentioned on here a few times from Sex workers up and down the country.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 12 August 2016, 09:50:52 am
Quote from: MissBehaving on 11 August 2016, 11:03:08 pm
"Hi I'm Peter. Silly question but if a bloke asked you to sell him to a Chinese or Thai takeaway and you could keep the money you get for him would you do it ? "

I got that one last year!! Peter is very boring. Poor love lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 12 August 2016, 04:50:08 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 11 August 2016, 11:03:08 pm
"Hi I'm Peter. Silly question but if a bloke asked you to sell him to a Chinese or Thai takeaway and you could keep the money you get for him would you do it ? "

His name is Phil  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 12 August 2016, 06:20:08 pm
not totally related, but a spammy call today from someone to my whorephone claiming i'd been in an accident...

i have discovered that saying "no, this is a prostitutes phone line" caused the caller to stutter, mumble, apologise and hang up
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: loubyloo on 12 August 2016, 06:26:28 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 12 August 2016, 06:20:08 pm
not totally related, but a spammy call today from someone to my whorephone claiming i'd been in an accident...

i have discovered that saying "no, this is a prostitutes phone line" caused the caller to stutter, mumble, apologise and hang up

Omg!!! Hilarious! I have to use that one!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 12 August 2016, 06:41:29 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 12 August 2016, 06:20:08 pm
not totally related, but a spammy call today from someone to my whorephone claiming i'd been in an accident...

i have discovered that saying "no, this is a prostitutes phone line" caused the caller to stutter, mumble, apologise and hang up

YES!! I do this! I say "you do realise you've phoned a premium rate adult sex chat line, don't you?"  :D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 12 August 2016, 07:59:16 pm
"Hi are u available for tonight and how much would u charge for half hour and u can crash here till morning if u want "
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 12 August 2016, 08:54:40 pm
"Ok how much for half hour u got nice boobs how old"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 12 August 2016, 09:37:41 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 12 August 2016, 07:59:16 pm
"Hi are u available for tonight and how much would u charge for half hour and u can crash here till morning if u want "

He must think escorts are generally homeless too  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 12 August 2016, 09:45:06 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 12 August 2016, 09:37:41 pm
He must think escorts are generally homeless too  ::)

Cocaine / heroin addicts  ;D all of us  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 12 August 2016, 09:49:23 pm
Quote from: ladyinred on 12 August 2016, 09:45:06 pm
Cocaine / heroin addicts  ;D all of us  ;D

At least he has a heart haha doing his bit for charity, like  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 12 August 2016, 10:04:17 pm
Cos I'd TOTALLY rather "crash" at your place than return to my king size bed with John Lewis bedding...  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lapetitemort on 12 August 2016, 11:48:45 pm
Today it's been the classic 'I'll tell you when I'm coming round' gag. Something like this-
'Hi, are you free today'
'Yes I have some availability, when would you like to book in?'
'Well I was thinking later this evening. I'll text you when I finish work and let you know when I'm coming over'

This really really wound me up because today has literally been MAD BUSY & it's laughable how they think we just wait around for their call!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 13 August 2016, 01:11:14 am
I just received couple of 'lovely' messages on WhatsApp

Ay la 23:05 (WTF?  ;D)
Suck my dic 23:18

This fuckwit's mobile number is connected to his Facebook  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 13 August 2016, 01:03:30 pm
"Can you come to the door naked? "

He sent me this txt when he got to the landmark I told him to get to before he could get my address.
It put me off so much I cancelled on him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 13 August 2016, 08:10:18 pm
Text today.
"How much?"

Do some girls really see these guys!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 13 August 2016, 08:22:09 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 13 August 2016, 08:10:18 pm
Text today.
"How much?"

Do some girls really see these guys!


 Sometimes if I can be bothered I reply something like ?200 for 30 minutes...Usually gets rid of them  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 13 August 2016, 08:23:47 pm
Quote from: katrina on 13 August 2016, 08:22:09 pm

 Sometimes if I can be bothered I reply something like ?200 for 30 minutes...Usually gets rid of them  ;D
I used to text the postcode of the mental health unit near where I work but have mellowed over the years, I just ignore and block now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetshycanada on 14 August 2016, 04:28:42 am
Well advertising as a submissive escort has gotten some interesting messages. Best so far has to be the one with the pic of the frog stuffie in bondage, asking if I would be as cooperative as Mr frog... sigh!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 14 August 2016, 12:30:53 pm
Had this via AW this morning. Member since 2008, no feedback.
Have removed link but pic is basically of an odd looking man with a large nose. Methinks an attention seeker!
Anyone else had?

Hi
 im very badly ugly and feel that i should show a picture of me in case you don't want to see me.

I don't want to make a booking without showing a photo. Becuase i'm not average looking or normal ugly. A lot of people are always shocked when they see me.

Here is my picture: [redacted]

I'm not disabled if you might think that. A lot of people think that i am but i'm not.

You don't need to see me if you don't want to. You don't have to say yes.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 14 August 2016, 01:22:17 pm
Quote from: Wailing Banshee on 14 August 2016, 12:30:53 pm
Had this via AW this morning. Member since 2008, no feedback.
Have removed link but pic is basically of an odd looking man with a large nose. Methinks an attention seeker!
Anyone else had?

Hi
 im very badly ugly and feel that i should show a picture of me in case you don't want to see me.

I don't want to make a booking without showing a photo. Becuase i'm not average looking or normal ugly. A lot of people are always shocked when they see me.

Here is my picture: [redacted]

I'm not disabled if you might think that. A lot of people think that i am but i'm not.

You don't need to see me if you don't want to. You don't have to say yes.

Lol we don't care if you are super ugly  ;D as long as you are not smelly
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 14 August 2016, 01:36:25 pm
Quote from: ladyinred on 14 August 2016, 01:22:17 pm
Lol we don't care if you are super ugly  ;D as long as you are not smelly

I suspect he gets off on being sent kind replies saying it doesn't matter what you look like etc etc...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 14 August 2016, 03:52:46 pm
'You do submissition? Can i slap you about, pull your hair and spit all over you?' Erm... thats not submission thats just wanting tp treat me like a peice of shit. No fucking way.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 14 August 2016, 09:59:33 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 13 August 2016, 08:23:47 pm
I used to text the postcode of the mental health unit near where I work but have mellowed over the years, I just ignore and block now.

Im so stealing this idea lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetshycanada on 15 August 2016, 10:13:39 am
Submission encompasses so much, I know what I'm comfortable with, and how far I'll go to earn my living. I'll do a fair number of things most girls wouldn't do but at least I can say no one spits on any part of me. :p
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 15 August 2016, 10:29:23 am
I don't let anyone spit on me. I think it's totally disgusting!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 15 August 2016, 11:28:12 am
Quote from: CurlsnCurves on 15 August 2016, 10:29:23 am
I don't let anyone spit on me. I think it's totally disgusting!

That's just disrespectful.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 15 August 2016, 04:04:47 pm
Email containing just bj ?40?

Grr despite my stating minimum booking is an hour. Well second time he's spammed me like this so that earns a blocking.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 15 August 2016, 08:44:50 pm
Quote from: LadyOfTheNight on 15 August 2016, 04:04:47 pm
Email containing just bj ?40?

Grr despite my stating minimum booking is an hour. Well second time he's spammed me like this so that earns a blocking.

Why wouldn't they contact someone that actually offers bj for ?40? There are girls on AW offering cheaper quickies , or even on the streets. Why wouldn't they go there  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 15 August 2016, 08:57:11 pm
Quote from: Wailing Banshee on 14 August 2016, 12:30:53 pm
Had this via AW this morning. Member since 2008, no feedback.
Have removed link but pic is basically of an odd looking man with a large nose. Methinks an attention seeker!
Anyone else had?

Hi
 im very badly ugly and feel that i should show a picture of me in case you don't want to see me.

I don't want to make a booking without showing a photo. Becuase i'm not average looking or normal ugly. A lot of people are always shocked when they see me.

Here is my picture: [redacted]

I'm not disabled if you might think that. A lot of people think that i am but i'm not.

You don't need to see me if you don't want to. You don't have to say yes.
Just had this email, yes he's ugly not that it's an issue for a hooker, what area are you in wailing banshee? He swears he is genuine x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 15 August 2016, 09:17:23 pm
Quote from: ladyinred on 15 August 2016, 08:44:50 pm
Why wouldn't they contact someone that actually offers bj for ?40? There are girls on AW offering cheaper quickies , or even on the streets. Why wouldn't they go there  :FF

Ah well that would mean they'd actually have to...read profiles rather than spamming every escort in sight  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 16 August 2016, 01:12:23 pm
Quote from: ladyinred on 15 August 2016, 08:44:50 pm
Why wouldn't they contact someone that actually offers bj for ?40? There are girls on AW offering cheaper quickies , or even on the streets. Why wouldn't they go there  :FF

They have no intention of making a booking they just want to see how low your prices can go then masturbate about how cheap you are. Had it before with a guy calling and constantly changing his mind and negotiating "What if you just strip naked and I wank how much then?" etc. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 16 August 2016, 05:11:15 pm
Him: What hotel are you in, will reception ask me where I'm going?
Me: no, it's a big chain, very busy and anonymous.
Him: if it's anonymous how will I find it?
 :FF   ;D  :FF
I didn't give him a booking...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 17 August 2016, 10:16:16 am
Anyone else hate this:

Missed call so text back availability which today isn't till the afternoon since there's a new washing machine being installed. Reply comes back:

Anything around 11??? Eh can they seriously not read :FF

Then 2 minutes later when I don't respond (thinking yeh I just said I wasn't free till the afternoon because I really am another text:

Can we do 11 please?? Numpty
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 17 August 2016, 11:39:36 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 15 August 2016, 08:57:11 pm
Just had this email, yes he's ugly not that it's an issue for a hooker, what area are you in wailing banshee? He swears he is genuine x

Near Heathrow. Of course he says he is genuine!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 17 August 2016, 11:43:47 am
Quote from: Wailing Banshee on 17 August 2016, 11:39:36 am
Near Heathrow. Of course he says he is genuine!
I'm in Essex so nowhere near Heathrow! I've blocked him now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 17 August 2016, 01:34:49 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 16 August 2016, 05:11:15 pm
Him: What hotel are you in, will reception ask me where I'm going?
Me: no, it's a big chain, very busy and anonymous.
Him: if it's anonymous how will I find it?
 :FF   ;D  :FF
I didn't give him a booking...

LOL
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 17 August 2016, 10:15:00 pm
Subject:    Would you do a full time arrangement ?

I need a girl for the next six month with me in London , I can double your fate and I'll look after and protect you babes

I'm opening a club up abroad too

-number-  Tony


 ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 18 August 2016, 06:29:44 am
A guy wants a booking today but doesn't know how long for.  WTF  - how does he expect me to plan my bookings!

I won't even bother replying.  How do they expect us to run a business!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 18 August 2016, 10:46:23 am
sent in the early hours.

Subject:    Available. Now?

Sex?

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 18 August 2016, 11:36:50 am
Text today
I'll be in your area around 4ish, text me your address and I'll let you know when I'm 5 mins away. Thanks.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 18 August 2016, 11:56:51 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 18 August 2016, 11:36:50 am
Text today
I'll be in your area around 4ish, text me your address and I'll let you know when I'm 5 mins away. Thanks.


I hate that 'I'll call when I'm nearby' as if I'm just sat there all day twiddling my thumbs waiting for HIS call and nothing else  ::)


 Also the ones who don't know how long they want to come for, there's nothing worse than an indecisive man!!  Why don't they understand its the time they're paying for, I usually just  suggest 30 minutes and if they faff anymore I ignore.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 18 August 2016, 12:02:40 pm
Going through a period of 'Can I see you nows?' One of these is a regular who you would think would know better.
Yesterday he rang at 12:30 wanting to see me in 10 mins.I'd actually been somewhere and was just getting into Leeds.I offered him 1:15 but nope he wanted in the next 10 mins.He does this every couple of weeks and you would think it would sink in that it's a rare thing that an escort can get ready in 10 mins or doesn't have an appointment already.
I was a little curt with him when he then asked in a put out voice 'What time do you start then?' like I'm the one being unreasonable.I told him I started around 11am but it was irrelevant as no matter when he calls I am 9 times out of 10 going to be unable to offer him an appointment with 10 mins notice! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 18 August 2016, 12:11:15 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 18 August 2016, 12:02:40 pm
Going through a period of 'Can I see you nows?' One of these is a regular who you would think would know better.
Yesterday he rang at 12:30 wanting to see me in 10 mins.I'd actually been somewhere and was just getting into Leeds.I offered him 1:15 but nope he wanted in the next 10 mins.He does this every couple of weeks and you would think it would sink in that it's a rare thing that an escort can get ready in 10 mins or doesn't have an appointment already.
I was a little curt with him when he then asked in a put out voice 'What time do you start then?' like I'm the one being unreasonable.I told him I started around 11am but it was irrelevant as no matter when he calls I am 9 times out of 10 going to be unable to offer him an appointment with 10 mins notice! :FF


Yes I've got a few like that, they get all moody because I'm not available NOW! Then when I suggest an hours time they say oh no that's too late then they ring back an hour later wanting NOW again!!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 18 August 2016, 12:19:48 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 18 August 2016, 12:02:40 pm
Going through a period of 'Can I see you nows?' One of these is a regular who you would think would know better.
Yesterday he rang at 12:30 wanting to see me in 10 mins.I'd actually been somewhere and was just getting into Leeds.I offered him 1:15 but nope he wanted in the next 10 mins.He does this every couple of weeks and you would think it would sink in that it's a rare thing that an escort can get ready in 10 mins or doesn't have an appointment already.
I was a little curt with him when he then asked in a put out voice 'What time do you start then?' like I'm the one being unreasonable.I told him I started around 11am but it was irrelevant as no matter when he calls I am 9 times out of 10 going to be unable to offer him an appointment with 10 mins notice! :FF
I had a pest like this a few years ago, never wanted the time I gave so one day I said to him that he could choose the time, anytime he wants. He booked a time then cancelled it 5 mins later.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 18 August 2016, 12:23:36 pm
The other week somebody wished to see me within ten minutes, I said I needed twenty minutes.  He couldn't wait that long!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 18 August 2016, 12:25:59 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 18 August 2016, 12:19:48 pm
I had a pest like this a few years ago, never wanted the time I gave so one day I said to him that he could choose the time, anytime he wants. He booked a time then cancelled it 5 mins later.


Yep a regular has done this twice now so I'm not answering his calls anymore.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 18 August 2016, 12:30:52 pm
Quote from: Lushblossom on 18 August 2016, 12:23:36 pm
The other week somebody wished to see me within ten minutes, I said I needed twenty minutes.  He couldn't wait that long!

Some people are just ridiculous it's like a law for escorts you must have at least one text pest who always calls but never commits to a time unless it's right now that second. I don't understand the difference if they have to wait like an hour max. I can usually fit people in who call on the day within an hour but some people just won't have it. I guess by that time they just had a wank over my photos and don't want the booking anymore.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 18 August 2016, 02:12:30 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 18 August 2016, 12:02:40 pm
Going through a period of 'Can I see you nows?' One of these is a regular who you would think would know better.
Yesterday he rang at 12:30 wanting to see me in 10 mins.I'd actually been somewhere and was just getting into Leeds.I offered him 1:15 but nope he wanted in the next 10 mins.He does this every couple of weeks and you would think it would sink in that it's a rare thing that an escort can get ready in 10 mins or doesn't have an appointment already.
I was a little curt with him when he then asked in a put out voice 'What time do you start then?' like I'm the one being unreasonable.I told him I started around 11am but it was irrelevant as no matter when he calls I am 9 times out of 10 going to be unable to offer him an appointment with 10 mins notice! :FF
I had a reg who would constantly contact me to inquire about a booking. When asked what time, he would say soon. I always said No and that it is too short notice. Soon isn't on my fucking watch unfortunately. Anyways recently he did it again. Bare in mind this was an out all client yes? So how he expects me to get to him soon or in an hours time I have no idea. Anyways, I accept they haven't got all their brain cells. Anyways, he contacted me at 1:30 wanting soon. Why can't they just give a time? Why?  I say I can come 3. He says ok. So after rushing around (as I really needed the money) I realised there is no way I can get to this twats house for 3pm so asked if he wanted to do it another day or I can get there for 3:30 as I need more time. When I finally got there he started fretting about I deserve better, why am I doing this job? It's exploitation, why did I call you, I think I need to stop paying for sex(which of course is never going to happen so stop kidding yourself pretty sure he has fallen a slave to sex again and hired him another prostitue by now) needless to say I stopped offering outcalls that day.. Another thing I hate that regulars do is when they say they would call you back but don't. It's one thing when newbies do it but you would expect that cuz they've seen you several times before, they would be comfortable and brave enough to just say the truth wether it be they can't do that time or whatever. I've just had a regular do that. If only he could have said that the time I offered was unsuitable I would have suggested an earlier time. It really is that simple. I just want a glass or two of wine now but I'm on a diet so......
I've had several fools call me asking" can I come to you now? " "How long will it take you to get ready? "NO. This is not a brothel nor am I a street worker so if you can't call and book atleast an hour in advance you can fuck off. Sigh. Moving on, I had a gorilla sounding man call me asking if I am the girl who owned the dungeon.(I have never advertised a dungeon or Dom service )
Gorilla : are you the girl who owned dungeon ?
Me: NO
Gorilla :you didn't own the dungeon?
Me- sorry I just quit
Gorilla:you not doing this no more?
Me:NO
Gorilla: Can I pay you for a booking without sex?
Me: Thanks so much for calling. Bye.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 18 August 2016, 02:19:02 pm
I do understand that some blokes can't advance book and have to grab opportunities when they can..but they would be better finding a parlour if they want to just walk in somewhere.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 18 August 2016, 02:35:03 pm
All from the same texter.

Text 8pm yesterday...Yes
Text midday today....OK
Text 1pm today........Hi like. To see y

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 18 August 2016, 02:37:15 pm
Quote from: Jessica201
Soon isn't on my fucking watch unfortunately.

Brilliant  ;D sounds like you're having a good day chuck
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 18 August 2016, 05:33:32 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 18 August 2016, 02:37:15 pm
Brilliant  ;D sounds like you're having a good day chuck
Lol it gets better.
Wanker:Can I blow air into your Pussy with my mouth?

Aaaaaaand another glass of wine . Think I'll be drunk by the end of today  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 18 August 2016, 09:31:09 pm
Hey I'm looking for amours filthy fuck with a twist of an ending I'm looking for pussy anal and hard deep throat lots of gaghing then to end in after something new I want you to snort my cum for me up for it? Xx
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 18 August 2016, 09:41:04 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 18 August 2016, 09:31:09 pm
Hey I'm looking for amours filthy fuck with a twist of an ending I'm looking for pussy anal and hard deep throat lots of gaghing then to end in after something new I want you to snort my cum for me up for it? Xx


I would reply with : Yes that's all fine I'm looking for one million pounds for that, half of it by deposit to my bank before I give you my address Xx  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 19 August 2016, 11:28:08 am
" Hi baby will u do bareback sex for more money im very clean had the snip I can send u naughty pics or videos of me full front on whatsapp if u want xxxx "

I wonder what  people who type "u" instead of "you" do with all their free time ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 19 August 2016, 11:29:52 am
Quote from: MissBehaving on 19 August 2016, 11:28:08 am

I wonder what  people who type "u" instead of "you" do with all their free time ???

Lol :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 19 August 2016, 04:02:53 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 18 August 2016, 09:31:09 pm
Hey I'm looking for amours filthy fuck with a twist of an ending I'm looking for pussy anal and hard deep throat lots of gaghing then to end in after something new I want you to snort my cum for me up for it? Xx

Do you know, I couldn't think of anything worse than that little scenario.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 19 August 2016, 06:13:15 pm
"Looking for a few hours of the unprotected deep in the whole. I have a 30 dollar amount to be a gift." Followed by a US phone number. Do you think he's going to pay my travel expenses?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 19 August 2016, 06:29:25 pm
Just received this text:

"You available hun how much for half hour do you have uniforms  domintion"

1. I don't do half hours
2. I assume he means domination not domintion....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissFlint on 19 August 2016, 07:05:10 pm
Got some ridiculous texts today:

'Hey babe fancy some fun for free? xx'

He must be inundated with replies!

And another one:
'Hi there (insert name)!'

WTF, some pointless messages.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 19 August 2016, 07:33:11 pm
I received text
"Hello darling please adress in sex coming"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 19 August 2016, 08:17:17 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 19 August 2016, 06:13:15 pm
"Looking for a few hours of the unprotected deep in the whole. I have a 30 dollar amount to be a gift." Followed by a US phone number. Do you think he's going to pay my travel expenses?

"Gosh I think you left 5 or 6 zeros off that amount. Easily done when you're in a hurry. Let me know when you can transfer half that to my off-shore account."


/haha  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 19 August 2016, 08:33:06 pm
Quote from: Wailing Banshee on 14 August 2016, 12:30:53 pm
Had this via AW this morning. Member since 2008, no feedback.
Have removed link but pic is basically of an odd looking man with a large nose. Methinks an attention seeker!
Anyone else had?

Hi
 im very badly ugly and feel that i should show a picture of me in case you don't want to see me.

I don't want to make a booking without showing a photo. Becuase i'm not average looking or normal ugly. A lot of people are always shocked when they see me.

Here is my picture: [redacted]

I'm not disabled if you might think that. A lot of people think that i am but i'm not.

You don't need to see me if you don't want to. You don't have to say yes.

I've received an almost identical message via Adultwork this evening; except it was from a new profile (member since March this year, no aliases attached to his profile though) and the wording was slightly different but I reckon it's too similar to be from a different idiot.
I'm a million percent sure that there is no that this numpty has zero percent intention of making a booking; from what I've read the other escorts he's contacted are in Heathrow and Glasgow and they're just the ones I know about. I'm certain he's copy and pasted this email and variations of it to a ton of different girls all over the country. What I'm I'm not certain of is why!! I mean the usual copy and paste fantasists want free wank bank deposits or fancy themselves as service providers and want free pics/do content share/duo partner/a free session/to be a photographer or porn star/producer for the day/etc etc.
Surely the guy doesn't dedicate hours spamming girls just to be reassured that he isn't ugly?! (Incidentally he is no Brad Pitt, but I'm assuming that he's wanting girls to kiss his arse and reassure him extensively that he's not at all ugly in the hope that he will go on to book them) it's rare that I can be surprised these days to be honest but this is a weird one IMO!:


Hi Claire i feel like you should see a picture of me because i'm very ugly and you might be turned off by me without knowing how i look like. So i thought it would be best if you see me first and then you don't have to book me if you are turned off by my looks.

To be honest with you i'm very ugly. I have a very big nose and have always been told i'm ugly by many people.

Here is a link to my profile picture or you can click on my profile to see:

(Link to view his Adultwork profile via the main site)

You don't have to feel like you have to see me. So ignore this if you're not interested. I won't be offended at all. I really would understand.

Bye.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 20 August 2016, 02:33:47 pm
Hi Babe, where you based? If I get lost can you meet me on a motorway?  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 20 August 2016, 02:47:30 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 20 August 2016, 02:33:47 pm
Hi Babe, where you based? If I get lost can you meet me on a motorway?  ???

Yeah, I'm running to you in my high heels and stockings  :FF
and red fingernails , of course
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 20 August 2016, 04:42:44 pm
ur hawt really wn2 get my faice right in2 those tits and that arse


well, that really got me gagging for him obviously  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pay2play on 20 August 2016, 08:22:47 pm
Message from regular.
Him. Hi
Me 2hrs later,hi
Him. Oops
Me.. i ignore him
Him. I'm spent up this month , sorry
Me. I Ignore him
Him I'm in bed
Him I want to see you but not as a customer!
 :FF  :FF
Me blocks him
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: loubyloo on 21 August 2016, 12:15:05 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 18 August 2016, 02:35:03 pm
All from the same texter.

Text 8pm yesterday...Yes
Text midday today....OK
Text 1pm today........Hi like. To see y


Omg I think I have the same guy.
Hi
Foot
Bath
Y swim
Hi
See y

It goes on. He's been doing it for weeks and I haven't blocked him as I find it hilarious!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 21 August 2016, 04:18:44 pm
If you tell me you love me i will make you pregnant x x    :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 21 August 2016, 04:39:09 pm
Day 1 :
- morning baby

Day 2 :
- I'm in jail


Now what's the warden's  policies on outcalls ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 21 August 2016, 05:07:23 pm
A guy called me and asked "who's this?"
 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 21 August 2016, 05:38:33 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 21 August 2016, 04:39:09 pm
Day 1 :
- morning baby

Day 2 :
- I'm in jail


Now what's the warden's  policies on outcalls ?

I've had a guy text and say he was just out of jail and trying to get a freebie because of that! Like he deserves it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 21 August 2016, 05:41:06 pm
Quote from: ladyinred on 21 August 2016, 05:07:23 pm
A guy called me and asked "who's this?"
 :FF
I've had this a few times! Strange.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 21 August 2016, 06:29:04 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 21 August 2016, 05:41:06 pm
I've had this a few times! Strange.

Literally just had one.

Who is this?
Erm - you called me?
Looonng pause.
Is that Jenna?
No - goodbye!

FFS, how difficult is it to know who you're calling?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 21 August 2016, 07:42:28 pm
Quote from: Kay on 21 August 2016, 06:29:04 pm
Literally just had one.

Who is this?
Erm - you called me?
Looonng pause.
Is that Jenna?
No - goodbye!

FFS, how difficult is it to know who you're calling?!
I think it's that they are ringing every hooker in the area and can't be arsed to match our numbers to who we are, call me up myself but I won't see guys that are this lazy and rude.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 21 August 2016, 08:05:09 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 21 August 2016, 07:42:28 pm
I think it's that they are ringing every hooker in the area and can't be arsed to match our numbers to who we are, call me up myself but I won't see guys that are this lazy and rude.


Same, the 'ringer rounders looking for a hole, any hole'  ::) I won't see anyone who doesn't even have the decency to know my name?!!! Someone the other day texted "Hi Cat" another one "Hi Kate" Even little discrepancies get my back up and I won't see them. If they can't be bothered to check out something as basic as my name I can't be bothered to see them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 21 August 2016, 08:07:55 pm
'I'm coming to live in your area for six months and want to meet someone I can see once a week whilst here. Escorts I have been to before have been mechanical and rush me and that's not what I am after. If you're interested in a regular once a week meet which is more of a connection, send me your number and I can explain to you what I like i.e the finer details'

(no thanks...yawn)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 21 August 2016, 08:11:16 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 21 August 2016, 08:07:55 pm
'I'm coming to live in your area for six months and want to meet someone I can see once a week whilst here. Escorts I have been to before have been mechanical and rush me and that's not what I am after. If you're interested in a regular once a week meet which is more of a connection, send me your number and I can explain to you what I like i.e the finer details'

(no thanks...yawn)
The 'I'm gonna book you once a week' brigade! Do they think we cream our knickers at the promise of regular clients? It's bullshit
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 21 August 2016, 08:17:17 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 21 August 2016, 08:11:16 pm
The 'I'm gonna book you once a week' brigade! Do they think we cream our knickers at the promise of regular clients? It's bullshit



Oh yeah that old chestnut...If I had a ? for every time that was said I would now have lots of ?'s  lol ::)


Its the 'non rushed' bit I don't like the sound of...in other words he's a clingy over stayer!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 21 August 2016, 08:19:18 pm
Yeah, I just replied, 'if you want an apt, you can have my number to arrange time/location etc...what I offer is on my profile'. He's not replied. Bet he is a right 'full of himself' kind of guy, I can tell. I've had a couple of guys say to me they wanted a regular escort...but only saw them once! I wonder why they feel the need to do that? So they can get privileges? Not sure.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 21 August 2016, 08:24:36 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 21 August 2016, 08:19:18 pm
Yeah, I just replied, 'if you want an apt, you can have my number to arrange time/location etc...what I offer is on my profile'. He's not replied. Bet he is a right 'full of himself' kind of guy, I can tell. I've had a couple of guys say to me they wanted a regular escort...but only saw them once! I wonder why they feel the need to do that? So they can get privileges? Not sure.
I think that all the guys that say this stuff are full of themselves, like they are doing us a massive favour and lick their arse to secure these mysterious weekly bookings.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 21 August 2016, 08:27:40 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 21 August 2016, 08:24:36 pm
I think that all the guys that say this stuff are full of themselves, like they are doing us a massive favour and lick their arse to secure these mysterious weekly bookings.


I really enjoy saying to them "Well lets just see how we get on first as I already have lots of regular clients so I'm not really looking for any more at this time  :)" They tend to rush to end the convo and I don't hear from them again hahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 21 August 2016, 08:30:58 pm
Quote from: katrina on 21 August 2016, 08:27:40 pm

I really enjoy saying to them "Well lets just see how we get on first as I already have lots of regular clients so I'm not really looking for any more at this time  :)" They tend to rush to end the convo and I don't hear from them again hahaha

I like that. I'll try that one  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 21 August 2016, 08:39:29 pm
Quote from: katrina on 21 August 2016, 08:05:09 pm

Same, the 'ringer rounders looking for a hole, any hole'  ::) I won't see anyone who doesn't even have the decency to know my name?!!! Someone the other day texted "Hi Cat" another one "Hi Kate" Even little discrepancies get my back up and I won't see them. If they can't be bothered to check out something as basic as my name I can't be bothered to see them.

I have been known to ignore emails from guys who call me "Cathy". Nowhere on my profile does it say that's what you can call me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 21 August 2016, 08:41:39 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 21 August 2016, 08:30:58 pm
I like that. I'll try that one  ;D
I like it too! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 21 August 2016, 11:34:55 pm
Yeah your eyes immediately roll when they tell you before even meeting you that they want you to be their regular..had one via phone this week who then went on to say he was interested in gang bangs..I don't offer that sort of thing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 22 August 2016, 12:17:27 am
"Can you do 2hrs for ?200 like the lady down the road from your country ?"

 ;D ;D :FF
NO
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 22 August 2016, 04:50:46 pm
Call this morning, "Are you the sexy lady?"
Me, "Well which sexy lady are you looking for?"
He hangs up, guess he was hoping I'd fall into his little sex chat phone game. Or he didn't have a clue who is was ringing!

AW Message, "Hey honey can i give you a ring about a proposition?x"
Oooh, I wonder what he wants, an attempt to sex chat, taking videos and photos or he needs a girl to join him for couples bookings...

Edit: He wants to video our session...no, it even says that on my profile.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 22 August 2016, 06:50:08 pm
I had a punter wanking off towards the end of the phone conversation (to arrange a booking) it became so obvious as he was breathing, so erratically.  Then he sent me a graphic message, which was purely unpleasant.  I'm not seeing this guy..very disrespectful. >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 22 August 2016, 08:11:09 pm
A text received at 6.55am Saturday morning..."Do you do owo?"    That is the LAST thing that I would be thinking about at that time in the morning!!  ??? :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 22 August 2016, 08:40:53 pm
Client calls earlier.

Him: Hey so I have a bit of an outfit requests it says you do requests for extra.

Me: Within reason yes if I can do it then it'll cost x amount for the outfit request and this needs to be paid as a deposit

Him: Okay sure I was wondering if you can wear cat ears and a tail and wear a collar?

Me: I have the cat ears and the collar I could probably get the tail

Him: Hmmm yeah okay sounds good. Could you lap up milk from a bowl and pretend to be a cute cat?

Me: If you provide the milk and the bowl then I'd consider it

Hm: Okay I seee hmmm. If I provide a litter tray would you pee in it for me?

*hung up at this point*  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 22 August 2016, 09:18:02 pm
Text message

Him - im looking for really good bjs

Me - good luck

Him - ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 22 August 2016, 09:19:44 pm
Aw email

Hi, do you do pee, fart, poo? I dont want sex i just want to watch. Im italian and 28.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 22 August 2016, 09:21:48 pm
Quote from: Rainbow on 22 August 2016, 09:19:44 pm
Aw email

Hi, do you do pee, fart, poo? I dont want sex i just want to watch. Im italian and 28.

He does the rounds.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pay2play on 22 August 2016, 10:23:58 pm
Another from the 'i want to see you but not as a customer 'guy.
'Yell at me if you want. I don't get paid till Thursday,any chance I can book and pay you at weekend
 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 22 August 2016, 11:02:24 pm
I've had the Italian pee, fart n poo message a few times. I wonder if he ever finds anyone or actually books n turns up if he does?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 23 August 2016, 12:09:51 am
Hi just a quick one do you take card payment ?
Or I can pay via my app ?
I can't get out now so I can pay money into your bank when you get here x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 23 August 2016, 08:24:13 am
Quote from: CurlsnCurves on 22 August 2016, 11:02:24 pm
I've had the Italian pee, fart n poo message a few times. I wonder if he ever finds anyone or actually books n turns up if he does?

I have a feeling he is just a fatasist, tossing off at the thought of it 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 23 August 2016, 08:48:31 am
Text received

Him - hi i would like to book in for a prostate massage as i love the way you do it

Me - sorry, im taking a few days off

Him- oh, ok. It was just for the massage though

 :FF   speechless
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 23 August 2016, 11:20:21 am
Quote from: Rainbow on 23 August 2016, 08:48:31 am
Text received

Him - hi i would like to book in for a prostate massage as i love the way you do it

Me - sorry, im taking a few days off

Him- oh, ok. It was just for the massage though

 :FF   speechless
Some guys are so pushy when you tell them you're having a day off, I had one ask why I'd need a holiday from something that is fun.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 23 August 2016, 11:58:59 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 23 August 2016, 11:20:21 am
Some guys are so pushy when you tell them you're having a day off, I had one ask why I'd need a holiday from something that is fun.

They really are deluded arent they? Ive had a few that when i say im off, they reply 'not even for a quickie?'.  They really think we do this job because of the great sex we AlWAYS have. Dont they get it, thats its just a job? Our acting skills are so great x

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 24 August 2016, 11:18:13 pm
I had such an unusually dead day today. First caller wanted a three hour wedding roleplay, and said he'd buy a dress and shoes and lingerie and we'd exchange vows and blah blah blah. He did sound genuine, which was annoying as he kept me on the phone for so long discussing the ins and outs. Obviously when I asked for a deposit, all communication stopped. hnnngggggg.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 25 August 2016, 12:42:38 pm
Good lord take a look at this for a pile of crap:

Hi

I'm , and an easy going, good looking guy. I am after 2 hours of something exciting with the perfect lady and from your profile you sound like the perfect one!

I've been single for years because I have super fast premature ejaculation. It used to really get me down but over the years it's something I've learnt to accept. But approaching 40 (eek) I've decided it's time to really fix it but before I do there's this fantasy I've had for years that I'd love to have a go at playing out!

You haven't listed this fantasy of mine on your profile so I hope I cause you no offence by mentioning this but i think it sounds close enough to what you offer for me to ask if you'd be up for it:

My fantasy is to be teased by a lady that knows how to tease but equally, importantly, knows how fast I cum when aroused (about 5 seconds!) and can keep me aching to cum for maybe 30 mins without me prematurely blowing my load! (That's gonna be tough by the way :D) I love the idea of just fooling around like horny teenagers, kissing and you stripping, teasing my face with your gorgeous body, and then sitting on it. And when I can take it no more (probably when you're grinding my face!) to make me cum but you don't stop jerking and/or sucking me until I cum another two or three times! That's my fantasy, to be teased so hard and then made to cum multiple times in the same session.

I'm not after a pornstar sex session by any means. I would love to have at least a quickie but I actually would love if the majority of the fun was by you using your hands.
I love the idea of being made to cum as many times as I can. My absolute fantasy is being forced to cum for hours on end until I'm completely done with occasional knees to my balls but I know that would be too much! In fact cumming 4 times in two hours would be really hard for me (no pun intended!) It's pretty kinky but as you offered mild domination I wondered whether you might like the sound of this. I guess it's orgasm control in a way!

If we were to meet up then the thought of arriving at your place with you knowing my biggest secret, how fast I cum, really turns me on and would no doubt terrify me at the same time!!


If you think this is something you'd be interested in (fantastic!) I don't have a definitive date in mind  yet I guess this could happen anywhere from 2 weeks to 2 months. Down to when's best for you.

I would most likely get the train as I live near X. Do you live far from station or is there a taxi rank?


Ps whether your real name is X or not, I've always loved the idea of having sex with an X! :) something so sexy about that name!


J

Xxx


He only has sales FB ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 25 August 2016, 03:29:36 pm
It does my head in when they say something vague about coming to see you in the next week or so.Had a text today like this and when I replied back with 'Hi,What day did you have in mind?'..no answer!
I don't know what they want you to say maybe something like 'Oh I can't wait for you to make a booking in a week or so..(or probably never)'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 25 August 2016, 04:55:22 pm
Lady of the night: if he goes on that much drivvle in the email, imagine what sort of shite chunnering will go on if you do decide to see him (sure you won't!) hahaha AWFUL
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 25 August 2016, 04:58:23 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 25 August 2016, 04:55:22 pm
Lady of the night: if he goes on that much drivvle in the email, imagine what sort of shite chunnering will go on if you do decide to see him (sure you won't!) hahaha AWFUL

I know, he didn't even get a reply, well he got my auto reply haha. Most who go into so much detail (yawn) are fantasists.

And also yeh even if by some remote chance he's genuine it'd be a bloody awful booking.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 25 August 2016, 04:59:36 pm
He won't book with you because he's got himself off just writing that email!

Gormless I think.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 25 August 2016, 07:55:34 pm
OMG.....No......just No!!!! Nightmare. Fantasist. And if by some miracle he is in fact genuine he would be awful to have a booking with.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 25 August 2016, 07:57:52 pm
Quote from: CurlsnCurves on 25 August 2016, 07:55:34 pm
OMG.....No......just No!!!! Nightmare. Fantasist. And if by some miracle he is in fact genuine he would be awful to have a booking with.

Yup I know, it was so long nearly fell asleep before I got to the end  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 26 August 2016, 01:53:24 am
Quote from: LadyOfTheNight on 25 August 2016, 12:42:38 pm
Hi

I'm , and an easy going, good looking guy. I am after 2 hours of something exciting with the perfect lady and from your profile you sound like the perfect one!



I would get exactly this far before deleting that pile of rubbish. What is it with these fantasists and talking like they are choosing their next wives and making it a competition? This is like choosing a pair of jeans they all do the same thing you just pick whichever one is most visually appealing to you.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 26 August 2016, 08:43:43 am
Quote from: TrashAzn on 26 August 2016, 01:53:24 am
I would get exactly this far before deleting that pile of rubbish. What is it with these fantasists and talking like they are choosing their next wives and making it a competition? This is like choosing a pair of jeans they all do the same thing you just pick whichever one is most visually appealing to you.

Yeh I just posted it so people could have a good laugh, that's all that kind of drivel deserves.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss-Olivia on 26 August 2016, 10:48:05 am

"Hi where abouts in ..... are u. Your prof looks nice and I like the looks of you. Wanting a naughty half hr or hr with you as need my balls emptied good and proper. Been a week hehe.. so how long u here for. Get back thx x
 

HEHE.... What grown man says hehe!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: IveS on 26 August 2016, 10:53:03 pm
"I'm leaving town so can't make a booking but could you send me some face pictures just of curiosity."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 26 August 2016, 11:20:20 pm
A string of texts today from one number:

'Iv got to have a session with you'
'A hot sex session'
'Do you do nude'
'You wont be disapointed'

Yes mate, I charge extra actually for *nude* hot sex sessions.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 27 August 2016, 10:08:14 am
Calling and getting my, "I am NOT available today," text then calling another 10 times...what was so hard to understand about my auto reply text?! Now blocked!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 27 August 2016, 10:56:00 am
Hey [half of my working name] wow what page, I was hoping you can make this birthday boys night by coming to see for as long as poss. Look I've got drink I've got smoke I've got sniff and a ton cash can you do any thing for me? Hope to hear back xx

This was at a quarter past midnight. Oh yes mate I'll just get out of bed and come over to your place which is apparently filled with intoxicants, for ?40 less than my minimum charge  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 27 August 2016, 12:29:18 pm
Somebody tried ringing me TEN times Friday morning.  I won't be answering to them they sound a bit too frantic for me ......!  Very offputting.  Had it not occurred to them to send a nice polite text after trying once or twice?  Too normal for some of them to think that way isn't it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jo1992 on 28 August 2016, 09:09:25 am
message on my phone this morning "you take sh*t in my mouth I pay you lots"

charming.......
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 28 August 2016, 09:45:14 am
HAd a guy email me asking if I could meet him Saturday 'as an exception'.  It states clearly on all three of my profiles I cannot work evenings and weekends.

It strikes me
a) it is a cheek to expect me to give up any plans I may have made
b) many of us have children and even partners why assume I can just suddenly make myself free?
c) it is more respectful to simply take heed of my hours.

I have no partner but I do have a son making it impossible to work weekends and evenings.

I emailed him to say people have families and other commitments.  I wrote it as a general reply as I do not wish to divulge my personal situ to a guy I may never ever meet.

He then emails 'You should have explained' and apparently he can look like a salesperson.  How does that follow in logic??

I then emailed him to explain he needs to be respectful of escorts' schedules and that we do not have to explain or justify ourselves to anybody.  It really got my back up.

I won't be meeting with him under any circumstances.

It just doesn't occur to them we are NORMAL human beings with lives of our own does it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 28 August 2016, 07:00:19 pm
Quote from: Lushblossom on 28 August 2016, 09:45:14 am
HAd a guy email me asking if I could meet him Saturday 'as an exception'.  It states clearly on all three of my profiles I cannot work evenings and weekends.

It strikes me
a) it is a cheek to expect me to give up any plans I may have made
b) many of us have children and even partners why assume I can just suddenly make myself free?
c) it is more respectful to simply take heed of my hours.

I have no partner but I do have a son making it impossible to work weekends and evenings.

I emailed him to say people have families and other commitments.  I wrote it as a general reply as I do not wish to divulge my personal situ to a guy I may never ever meet.

He then emails 'You should have explained' and apparently he can look like a salesperson.  How does that follow in logic??

I then emailed him to explain he needs to be respectful of escorts' schedules and that we do not have to explain or justify ourselves to anybody.  It really got my back up.

I won't be meeting with him under any circumstances.

It just doesn't occur to them we are NORMAL human beings with lives of our own does it!


When clients contact me randomly at weekends I don't even explain WHY....I just send the standard message of "Sorry I can only do evenings and weekends when booked in advance" as it says on ALL of my ads !


Its rude of them to expect you to make an exception, its really the equivalent of me going up to Meadowhall windows when they are closed and if a cleaner or security are inside,  asking them to open up just for me as I want to go shopping....They would just tell me to go away!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 29 August 2016, 02:12:52 pm
Do you take nine inches the client asks. I reply oh sorry my diary is fully booked today. Then hang up.

Banning.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kazzle on 29 August 2016, 03:40:27 pm
Quote
apparently he can look like a salesperson

I had one who offered to turn up with a bag of tools so that neighbours would think he was a workman.  ::)

Had a classic didn't bother to read my profile email sent to me. I clearly state on my profile that I don't work Sundays, nor evenings or nights. I also do incalls only.

By are u available for out call right now. I can pick u up staying at a cottage from London here for the weekend

Sent at 11pm Sunday. I also don't get into the cars of strangers but I don't have that on my profile so I've only myself to blame there for his offer to pick me up.



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: OFFS on 29 August 2016, 03:49:11 pm
 Just when you have thought you've heard it all and can no longer be shocked......

Hi babe, just wondering if you could do me and the wife. She is kinky as hell and loves being anally and vaginally fisted. She also loves having sex with our dog so hope you don't mind us bringing him along to the booking :o :o :o :o

I honestly cannot believe someone would ask such a thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 29 August 2016, 06:18:09 pm
Love their suggestions to look 'like a salesperson' look 'like a plumber' etc.

As if we had never ever thought of that in our job before!  They must think we are bloody thick.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 29 August 2016, 07:26:17 pm
Quote from: OFFS on 29 August 2016, 03:49:11 pm
Just when you have thought you've heard it all and can no longer be shocked......

Hi babe, just wondering if you could do me and the wife. She is kinky as hell and loves being anally and vaginally fisted. She also loves having sex with our dog so hope you don't mind us bringing him along to the booking :o :o :o :o

I honestly cannot believe someone would ask such a thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow! I have a fantasist guy that rings every so often who claims he is trisexual, he always asks if he can bring his dog. Is trisexual even a thing?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 29 August 2016, 07:27:30 pm
Apparently trisexual is a thing I googled it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 29 August 2016, 08:29:57 pm
I think trisexual is just made up. If you're fantasising about animals, you're into bestiality  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 29 August 2016, 08:40:35 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 29 August 2016, 08:29:57 pm
I think trisexual is just made up. If you're fantasising about animals, you're into bestiality  :-X
Probably but he always uses the trisexual thing, he calls himself slut suzie and has rang me for years with this dog fantasy, probably someone here has had him ringing.

Anyway poor dog! It's awful that people do these things, I saw some beastiality porn once it was horrible, x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 29 August 2016, 10:09:40 pm
If any caller even mentions animals they get the phone put straight down on them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: newbieNW on 29 August 2016, 10:14:45 pm
Are you available now?   Are you available?  Ignoring my working hours  ::). Some idiots, not proper punters seem to think cash will change our schedules ..I ignore them  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Antonia- on 29 August 2016, 10:54:31 pm
When I'm work, I'm generally submissive. On occasion I've got messages from clients I haven't met saying things like, "I will now be your Master", "You will now submit to me and do everything I say". Cracks me up! Proud to say I never went through with meeting them!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 29 August 2016, 11:20:39 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 29 August 2016, 07:26:17 pm
Wow! I have a fantasist guy that rings every so often who claims he is trisexual, he always asks if he can bring his dog. Is trisexual even a thing?

I used to say I was trisexual - I'd try anything once, twice if I liked it! ;D

EDIT: OMG, it's actually a thing. It's actually what I said.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lapetitemort on 30 August 2016, 01:01:04 am
Just got the old 'tell me you love me and I'll make you pregnant' text... ugh, whyyyyyyyy
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 30 August 2016, 09:53:08 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 29 August 2016, 11:20:39 pm
I used to say I was trisexual - I'd try anything once, twice if I liked it! ;D

EDIT: OMG, it's actually a thing. It's actually what I said.
Yes that's what it means! I thought it meant you liked animals as well as people.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 30 August 2016, 09:58:27 am
It's an expression. AFAIK it was first used in the TV series Sex and the City, so probably fifteen-ish years ago.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 30 August 2016, 10:47:42 am
I think people sometimes use these words to try and make themselves sound more interesting....transsexual pansexual bisexual its all a bit daft really (IMO)  I don't go round introducing myself to people and saying "Hi I'm (my name)  and I'm a bisexual!!"  Ridiculous lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 30 August 2016, 10:50:27 am
"Morning Kat wow seen you advertise I am in Sheffield every other week and Sheff on Thursday Friday how much would you charge me for 15 oral Paddy? X"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 30 August 2016, 10:58:15 am
I don't think I've ever had anyone call me and feel compelled to tell me that they are a heterosexual!!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 30 August 2016, 01:42:04 pm
Quote from: katrina on 30 August 2016, 10:58:15 am
I don't think I've ever had anyone call me and feel compelled to tell me that they are a heterosexual!!  ;D

If do a lot of anal play bookings and am told frequently 'I'm not gay or anything!'  ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 30 August 2016, 03:04:28 pm
Text: "have I come to right person"

Who knows?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 30 August 2016, 03:18:05 pm
Message "hi, what's included in your 30min?"
I texted him back with my services
Then the next day "but what would you do in 30min?"
I replied, I texted you yesterday, forget it, booking is cancelled


I'm not free of charge entertainer  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 30 August 2016, 03:39:28 pm
Quote from: amy on 30 August 2016, 09:58:27 am
It's an expression. AFAIK it was first used in the TV series Sex and the City, so probably fifteen-ish years ago.

LOL, I pre-date that then. I've been using the expression since I was 19, all those 25 years ago  :D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 30 August 2016, 08:01:42 pm
Quote from: katrina on 30 August 2016, 10:47:42 am
I think people sometimes use these words to try and make themselves sound more interesting....transsexual pansexual bisexual its all a bit daft really (IMO)  I don't go round introducing myself to people and saying "Hi I'm (my name)  and I'm a bisexual!!"  Ridiculous lol

Less of the biphobia thanks - it's not ridiculous to be attracted to more than one gender or for gender to not be a factor in who you are attracted to. Just noticed you included transexual in your list of "bit daft really" things - so transphobic too then  ???

Anyway, I came here to post this ridiculousness I just received on AW:

 Hi , I am interested in a 2 hour in call , I'm 20 just got out of a long relationship and looking for some good sex. I have a huge dick , been refused by some escorts(no joke) and the ones that agreed didn't take it as a dick should be took, so please let me know if your ok with it so we can set something up.

Looking forward for your answer.
Thanks
 
I reverse image searched the photos on his profile and they've been going around on "big cock guys" sites for a while so probably not his photos.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 30 August 2016, 08:11:11 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 30 August 2016, 08:01:42 pm
Less of the biphobia thanks - it's not ridiculous to be attracted to more than one gender or for gender to not be a factor in who you are attracted to. Just noticed you included transexual in your list of "bit daft really" things - so transphobic too then  ???

Anyway, I came here to post this ridiculousness I just received on AW:

 Hi , I am interested in a 2 hour in call , I'm 20 just got out of a long relationship and looking for some good sex. I have a huge dick , been refused by some escorts(no joke) and the ones that agreed didn't take it as a dick should be took, so please let me know if your ok with it so we can set something up.

Looking forward for your answer.
Thanks
 
I reverse image searched the photos on his profile and they've been going around on "big cock guys" sites for a while so probably not his photos.

I dont think she is biphobic or transphobic. I think she was referring to how people feel the need to announce what their sexuality is.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 30 August 2016, 09:00:14 pm
I agree with Rainbow,she was making a comment about how some people feel the need to announce what their sexuality is in context of timewasters.She didn't seem that she was being phobic about anything.As a bisexual person I certainly didn't read anything offensive in the comment.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 30 August 2016, 09:05:56 pm
Quote from: Rainbow on 30 August 2016, 08:11:11 pm
I dont think she is biphobic or transphobic. I think she was referring to how people feel the need to announce what their sexuality is.


Exactly!!


Justanescort You really want to take a few seconds to actually read the previous posts I was responding to and get things into context before throwing out ridiculous accusations!!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 30 August 2016, 09:06:43 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 30 August 2016, 09:00:14 pm
I agree with Rainbow,she was making a comment about how some people feel the need to announce what their sexuality is in context of timewasters.She didn't seem that she was being phobic about anything.As a bisexual person I certainly didn't read anything offensive in the comment.

Im bisexual too and  didnt take  offence to her post. I actually agreed with it lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 30 August 2016, 09:22:45 pm
Do you think this guy deserves a place on this thread...or should he be rewarded for his creativity? Plus, what should I reply? hahaha:


Our Booking

Your arse needs a place
To sit on my face
Place your legs up on my chest
Put my willpower to the test

Moan, struggle and beg I will
But you will continue to sit still
Fullweight you sit, bounce, jump all you can
Tell me to take it like a man

As you sit heavy on my mush
Your arse will begin to crush
Sit on me for the entire meet
My job is to be your seat

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 30 August 2016, 09:25:25 pm
I've thought of a reply:

I currently have BV,
Do you still want to be my settee,
You may choke on the smell,
Could be a type of hell,
Or is that what you like hee hee hee.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 30 August 2016, 09:27:51 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 30 August 2016, 09:25:25 pm
I've thought of a reply:

I currently have BV,
Do you still want to be my settee,
You may choke on the smell,
Could be a type of hell,
Or is that what you like hee hee hee.


Brilliant!!!  ;D Problem is though, he would probably love that EVEN MORE!!!  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 30 August 2016, 11:07:01 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 30 August 2016, 09:22:45 pm
Do you think this guy deserves a place on this thread...or should he be rewarded for his creativity? Plus, what should I reply? hahaha:


Our Booking

Your arse needs a place
To sit on my face
Place your legs up on my chest
Put my willpower to the test

Moan, struggle and beg I will
But you will continue to sit still
Fullweight you sit, bounce, jump all you can
Tell me to take it like a man

As you sit heavy on my mush
Your arse will begin to crush
Sit on me for the entire meet
My job is to be your seat

That's hilarious  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 30 August 2016, 11:10:02 pm
I'd be tempted to reply "Your scansion is appalling. Please study meter properly before attempting this kind of thing again."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 31 August 2016, 12:03:00 am
Quote from: Shewolf on 30 August 2016, 09:22:45 pm
Do you think this guy deserves a place on this thread...or should he be rewarded for his creativity? Plus, what should I reply? hahaha:


Our Booking

Your arse needs a place
To sit on my face
Place your legs up on my chest
Put my willpower to the test

Moan, struggle and beg I will
But you will continue to sit still
Fullweight you sit, bounce, jump all you can
Tell me to take it like a man

As you sit heavy on my mush
Your arse will begin to crush
Sit on me for the entire meet
My job is to be your seat

That's the kind of message that would make my eyes roll out of my head onto the next street on a dating site, let alone from a potential client.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lulu7 on 31 August 2016, 03:57:51 pm
I received an email from a guy telling me that he was coming to london for a few days and would like to stay at my place during his visit and have all  his meals fully catered by me.......??????????????????????

I had to double check my profile to see if I was advertising as a hotel with full bed and board. I can't even cook!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 31 August 2016, 04:36:29 pm
Email on aw.

'Hi, could you give me some information on your sex please'  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Teddy Bear on 31 August 2016, 05:08:26 pm
"Are you a party girl?"

Phone down. I'm in no mood to deal with a guy coked out of his mind attempting to coerce me into doing his drug of choice. They can coke themselves up to the eyeballs while I'm there for all I care but don't attempt to force me to join you because I'm not interested.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 31 August 2016, 09:18:27 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 30 August 2016, 09:25:25 pm
I've thought of a reply:

I currently have BV,
Do you still want to be my settee,
You may choke on the smell,
Could be a type of hell,
Or is that what you like hee hee hee.

You SO have to reply with this! Lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 31 August 2016, 11:09:17 pm
Message received just now...

I like cok in ass , fist in pussy , u intrested


Form an orderly queue, ladies.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 01 September 2016, 11:42:59 am
Hi X will u do bareback sex for more money im very clean an had the snip xx via My Local Escorts

No response from me so he follows up via my website So X will u do bareback? He got an auto reply.

Honestly I was tempted to send a joke reply but then he'd probably think it was  serious....Along the lines of:

Do you have ?1000
Can you provide a genuine certificate for each of the last 3 months proving you are STI free
Can you provide references from at least 3 established working girls (I will check) who you have seen in the past 3 months who also have clear STI checks for that time period.

And so on. Can you tell but I'm bored, I'm fed up due to being ill yet...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 01 September 2016, 11:47:01 am
Quote from: Teddy Bear on 31 August 2016, 05:08:26 pm
"Are you a party girl?"

Phone down. I'm in no mood to deal with a guy coked out of his mind attempting to coerce me into doing his drug of choice. They can coke themselves up to the eyeballs while I'm there for all I care but don't attempt to force me to join you because I'm not interested.
Worst is the get angry when you don't take with them ! I don't need to be coked up to pretend to have a good time with you !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 01 September 2016, 12:38:49 pm
Yuck they are coming out in force today just received this


Hi babe could I just watch and wank and cum on your pussy hair no touching? x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 01 September 2016, 12:57:13 pm
'Hi whereabouts are you?'
'Leeds City Centre'
'Where is that?'
'Um it's the centre of Leeds..'
'Oh right.'
 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 01 September 2016, 01:27:51 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 01 September 2016, 12:57:13 pm
'Hi whereabouts are you?'
'Leeds City Centre'
'Where is that?'
'Um it's the centre of Leeds..'
'Oh right.'
 :FF

Reminds me when I was touring in Bradford and staying at the Jurys Inn. One guy booked, confirmed etc. Then he said he'd arrived so I gave in the room number.

All fine except I open the door he wasn't there he texted to say he was there, where was I. It then turned out he thought I was in Leeds not Bradford! So apparently he turned up at the Leeds Jurys Inn.

Okay so I hadn't explicitly said on the phone I was in Bradford but it was all over my profile! I think he genuinely did this since he then wanted to come to Bradford or book another time. But I just couldn't be arsed to hang around and said no.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 01 September 2016, 07:20:32 pm
A text received at 6.10am this morning: Hey love, are you available for an hour incall at 7am? x"


Yeah hang on a minute I'll just dash out of bed and run to meet you !!!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 02 September 2016, 08:58:55 am
Text just received

'Quick blowjob or wank'

Is it just a random statement? A question? Some kind of tourettes?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 02 September 2016, 09:35:02 am
Text recieved at 2:17am 'Hi any chance of a meet at 2:30?'..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 02 September 2016, 01:58:04 pm
Quote from: Rainbow on 02 September 2016, 08:58:55 am
Text just received

'Quick blowjob or wank'

Is it just a random statement? A question? Some kind of tourettes?
I always text back asking if that's a statement or question.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 02 September 2016, 02:26:41 pm
Quote from: katrina on 01 September 2016, 07:20:32 pm
A text received at 6.10am this morning: Hey love, are you available for an hour incall at 7am? x"


Yeah hang on a minute I'll just dash out of bed and run to meet you !!!  ::)

I chose this line of work so I don't have to rush around at 7am like a maniac lol and still make good money  8)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 02 September 2016, 07:51:11 pm
Do you prolapse? If so i'd like to suck it.

Mmmmm, a dirty fucking client sucking my bowels! Cant wait!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 02 September 2016, 08:27:42 pm
Quote from: Rainbow on 02 September 2016, 07:51:11 pm
Do you prolapse? If so i'd like to suck it.

Mmmmm, a dirty fucking client sucking my bowels! Cant wait!
Eww, and oh no  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 02 September 2016, 08:28:34 pm
"Hi sexy, great tits.
Instead of hand relief for ?20. will you do a titwank only for the same price?
What's you postcode.
See you soon I hope.
x"

No, the hand relief service means I don't take my clothes off...you want me naked, pay my normal rate...cheap skate!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 03 September 2016, 12:02:45 am
Quote from: Rainbow on 02 September 2016, 07:51:11 pm
Do you prolapse? If so i'd like to suck it.

Mmmmm, a dirty fucking client sucking my bowels! Cant wait!

Might have meant your cervix/womb. As if THAT makes any difference  ;D :D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 03 September 2016, 01:26:06 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 02 September 2016, 08:28:34 pm
"Hi sexy, great tits.
Instead of hand relief for ?20. will you do a titwank only for the same price?
What's you postcode.
See you soon I hope.
x"

No, the hand relief service means I don't take my clothes off...you want me naked, pay my normal rate...cheap skate!

Well, you offer services for as little as ?20. You will get lots of timewasters / cheap skates by doing it so. They don't understand the deal, they just see ?20 offer.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 03 September 2016, 06:51:33 pm
Quote from: ladyinred on 03 September 2016, 01:26:06 pm
Well, you offer services for as little as ?20. You will get lots of timewasters / cheap skates by doing it so. They don't understand the deal, they just see ?20 offer.
I got timewasters and cheapskates before I offered the ?20 hand relief only...I'm sure we all do regardless of what we're offering.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luciexx on 03 September 2016, 07:58:43 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 01 September 2016, 12:57:13 pm
'Hi whereabouts are you?'
'Leeds City Centre'
'Where is that?'
'Um it's the centre of Leeds..'
'Oh right.'
 :FF

Could he be an outsider / visitor? I have been to Leeds quite a few times but not sure where is exactly the centre of Leeds?  Near the hospital?  I know Leeds got a RL district.  But again, I have no idea where that is.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 03 September 2016, 08:26:25 pm
Hello mistress, will you clean out my arsehole?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 03 September 2016, 08:40:49 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 03 September 2016, 08:26:25 pm
Hello mistress, will you clean out my arsehole?

Take his money and shove a henry hoover up his arse, followed by a toilet brush
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 03 September 2016, 08:49:31 pm
Just lately ive been getting so many wankers!

Text by wanker 1 - i have ?3200 for you to fulfill my fantasy
I told him to find a more guilable escort

Text by wanker 2 - hi do you like rough sex, punched in the face,  bareback, swallow cum, face fucking. Last woman i saw i spunked inside her and she wanted me to punch her in the stomach until it came out and licked it up

Text by wanker 3 - you like violent sex, fag burning tits, punched in the face

I suspect that the last 2 are from the same guy but on different numbers, they were sent within half hr of each other
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 03 September 2016, 09:11:39 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 03 September 2016, 08:26:25 pm
Hello mistress, will you clean out my arsehole?


A client once asked me if I wanted to watch him douche before a strap on session  ??? I think I'd rather stick hot pokers in my eyeballs!!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 03 September 2016, 09:50:39 pm
Quote from: katrina on 03 September 2016, 09:11:39 pm

A client once asked me if I wanted to watch him douche before a strap on session  ??? I think I'd rather stick hot pokers in my eyeballs!!  :FF
I think it's a case of not what you ask but how you ask, I do enemas but in a bdsm sense, asking will I clean someone's arse out is not gonna get them very far.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luciexx on 03 September 2016, 10:30:16 pm
Quote from: Rainbow on 03 September 2016, 08:40:49 pm
Take his money and shove a henry hoover up his arse, followed by a toilet brush

I'd love to watch that  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 04 September 2016, 12:11:45 am
Quote from: Luciexx on 03 September 2016, 07:58:43 pm
Could he be an outsider / visitor? I have been to Leeds quite a few times but not sure where is exactly the centre of Leeds?  Near the hospital?  I know Leeds got a RL district.  But again, I have no idea where that is.
The clue is in the name..it's the city centre..so the middle of Leeds,most city centres are in the middle of that particular city!
I also think that given that my profile states I am in the city centre and also names a specific landmark, that anyone really interested in meeting being local or outside would quickly have a look on google maps or similar before ringing.Plus this caller was from the outskirts of Leeds so not really an outsider.
Not really sure why the RL district is relevant.I'm not based in the RL district and that isn't in the city centre either.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 04 September 2016, 12:19:35 am
Via text '9pm?I'm a 25 year old this is my first time'
I wasn't working tonight anyway but on looking on my phone he then followed up with 2 blank texts over the next half hour.I find that quite pushy.If I didn't answer his first text which was pretty curt I ain't going to be answering 2 blank texts afterwards!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 04 September 2016, 09:13:13 am
Just read this AW email and my skin literally crawled all through it when I finished I had a little shudder....ugggh

Hi babe
wow you look so gorgeous and sexy cant wait to meet you
love those sexy smooth body mmm love it cant wait to kiss them all over
are you free to next week day time for 3 hrs I can come to you can do it for ?350 plus drinks
Are you british independent I am new to this never met anyone your my first so bit nervous too I am looking for weekly discreet meet with someone who is very safe and discreet too. Are you fine to try oral and pussy without I know I can trust you and your very safe too never done this before only with wife so I have to be very careful too
Hope to hear love
can do the booking online
love
xxxxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 04 September 2016, 09:21:31 am
Quote from: mature helen on 04 September 2016, 09:13:13 am
Just read this AW email and my skin literally crawled all through it when I finished I had a little shudder....ugggh

Hi babe
wow you look so gorgeous and sexy cant wait to meet you
love those sexy smooth body mmm love it cant wait to kiss them all over
are you free to next week day time for 3 hrs I can come to you can do it for ?350 plus drinks
Are you british independent I am new to this never met anyone your my first so bit nervous too I am looking for weekly discreet meet with someone who is very safe and discreet too. Are you fine to try oral and pussy without I know I can trust you and your very safe too never done this before only with wife so I have to be very careful too
Hope to hear love
can do the booking online
love
xxxxx

I got exactly the same email!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 04 September 2016, 09:25:58 am
Quote from: mature helen on 04 September 2016, 09:13:13 am
love those sexy smooth body mmm love it cant wait to kiss them all over

Alright Helen and Rainbow, own up. You've got two bodies, haven't you  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 04 September 2016, 09:52:06 am
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 04 September 2016, 09:25:58 am
Alright Helen and Rainbow, own up. You've got two bodies, haven't you  ;D ;D ;D

Lol, i didnt pick up on that. Puts a new perspective on whoring myself out
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 04 September 2016, 09:58:35 am
Lol I wish I had two bodies, one could whore and the other one could eat chocolate watch Netflix and count whore Helens money.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 04 September 2016, 02:15:14 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 04 September 2016, 09:58:35 am
Lol I wish I had two bodies, one could whore and the other one could eat chocolate watch Netflix and count whore Helens money.

Love it  :D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 05 September 2016, 03:19:08 pm
Hmm so a guy I'd already labelled potential TW from the first email therefore got my auto reply added at the top was*** next available tomorrow ... since not feeling great. Got this reply

Hey I'm available at 4pm if you are I'm after 1 hour x may go before .... I'm male 31 clean x

Eh could he seriously not see next available tomorrow  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 05 September 2016, 03:58:23 pm
None of these guys can read!!! As far as I'm aware even though the penis has one eye it's totally blinded to anything but a nice dark hole, actually having said that reminds me of a mole.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 05 September 2016, 08:07:25 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 04 September 2016, 09:13:13 am
Just read this AW email and my skin literally crawled all through it when I finished I had a little shudder....ugggh

Hi babe
wow you look so gorgeous and sexy cant wait to meet you
love those sexy smooth body mmm love it cant wait to kiss them all over
are you free to next week day time for 3 hrs I can come to you can do it for ?350 plus drinks
Are you british independent I am new to this never met anyone your my first so bit nervous too I am looking for weekly discreet meet with someone who is very safe and discreet too. Are you fine to try oral and pussy without I know I can trust you and your very safe too never done this before only with wife so I have to be very careful too
Hope to hear love
can do the booking online
love
xxxxx


I received this one too  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 05 September 2016, 08:22:23 pm
Has anybody had this email:

I would be v interested in making an Incall booking for 3hrs with you or straight to Overnite and bookings later.. I have regular checks at NHS Warrington STD Clinic and made my 86th Blood Tests and Donation on 7th July, previously tested in February 2016 and had Tests in June and October 2015, all results have been Negative for 25+ yrs and I will bring the latest NHS Merseyside NBTS Documents with me as proof and ID. I also got tested this week in London @ Dean St Clinic, so I am uptodate with everything, have certificate to prove it. I have one little request, I am not keen on condoms.

I would like Anal or Sex bareback, but NOT to completion, pull out and cum on your body or where you want me to. I will bring Champagne, Wine or Spirits if you prefer to make things more enjoyable. I can also bring exotic massage oils and creams, good quality poppers (no headache) or if u prefer something stronger white and Columbian!!. I also have a cock ring and tingly gel. I am fully shaven and looking for a regular, adventurous lady to see, which will include overnites.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 05 September 2016, 08:31:08 pm
I'm wondering how easy are certs to fake?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 05 September 2016, 08:45:57 pm
I doubt he's go to that much trouble to get fake certs haha but maybe I'm being na?ve...(probably) :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 05 September 2016, 08:55:54 pm
That very email has done the rounds loads over the years.If even a fraction of the escorts he sends this shit to go along with it then that's a hell of lot of bareback action going on,so so much for wanting a regular lady..idiot!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 05 September 2016, 08:57:06 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 05 September 2016, 08:55:54 pm
That very email has done the rounds loads over the years.If even a fraction of the escorts he sends this shit to go along with it then that's a hell of lot of bareback action going on,so so much for wanting a regular lady..idiot!

hahaha yep.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 05 September 2016, 09:08:32 pm
Don't you hate this, I do. My AW calendar is closed by default since a whole bunch of malicious FB only was left a few years ago. But you know how some try and circumvent this so just seen one 10 hour outcall for ?350 (wtf), I don't work this late even for incalls as my profile states  :FF  no email just this message:

if you meet up with me I would be able to give you a proper massage and help that ankle of you'res would you call me please to let me know if you would let me see you please xx

No I won't bloody call you and no a,massage won't help my (still recovering) ankle. Go away!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 06 September 2016, 12:04:42 am
Let me guess, his idea of a "massage" would be him repeatedly rubbing his cock on the affected part  >:(

So I found out this week why sub guys keep emailing me. My profile says I'm happy to give verbal humiliation and spanking, but nothing else. I'm not a pro domme. I keep getting requests to tie people up, beat them, foot worship, suffocation, all kinds of stuff that I have no experience in and am really not into.

Basically I'm a lot cheaper than pro dommes. So they're trying their luck trying to save ?100 by seeing someone who doesn't know what they're doing and could potentially cause some damage. Idiots. I'm taking all the kink stuff off my profile, I can't handle it.

I ended up caning a guy last week, I hadn't done it before (and told him so) and it was okay at the time but I felt shit after. I mean emotionally. Also my shoulder was killing me! I don't know how you pro dommes do it, massive respect.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 06 September 2016, 11:30:38 am
Ok in a foul mood from this mother fucking smoke alarm which is still going after I'm back from coffee and it may take all day for them to come look at it.

I come back to two emails one wanting to be my slave, for free naturally

One asking if I do half hours. He gets my auto reply and responds by asking for 30 minutes at X time.

I haven't done half hrs for ages, it says I don't on my profile, they are not listed at all  :FF :FF :FF

My ankle is killing me I keep having to hop up on a chair to shut up the smoke alarm for 5 minutes. Feel ill, very sleep deprived, banging head can do without these morons as well!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetshycanada on 07 September 2016, 07:07:07 pm
Two winners in one day, what a lucky girl I must be  >:(

The first was a regular, normally a decent bloke, called me drunk/stoned at 5:23am!!!

The second calls up wanting a bit of domination, not normally my thing, but I agree. Then he try's to haggle, Grrrr,  and when I refuse he starts whinging how it should be cheaper for as because he doesn't want sex.  At this point I just hang up and block him. What a wanker!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 07 September 2016, 09:46:17 pm
My sister is genuinely a sub and doesn't do sex work.

She said the number of idiotic messages she gets off Fetlife etc where it's obvious they haven't read her profile, is astounding.

Pro dommes charge more than GFE (quite rightly since its a specific skillset) so ladies offering GFE may find themselves approached by subs who are too cheap to pay for a pro. At which point my response is "FUCK OFF"


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 08 September 2016, 12:32:45 am
Hi Hannah, my name's **. I think you look fab in your photos and I'd like to ask about your everyday style/fashion - to begin with, do you like to wear knee high boots? I love it when they're worn with jeans, jodhpurs or leggings - do you ever wear your boots with them? I also like it when a woman wears 'less glamorous' boots, such as CATs, Timberlands or even Uggs - do you have any of these? And please tell me (and don't laugh!) what sort of socks do you like to wear under your boots?! Believe it or not, I like it when long patterned socks, chunky slouch or even football socks are worn under knee high boots!
This is my big 'turn-on' (let me know what you think)...
I love to kiss a woman as she's wearing her boots, and as we're kissing, I like to slowly un-zip the boots, teasing her but arousing her, and revealing her socks (!) - then I like to tease a bit more .... leaving her wondering whether I'm going to take the boots off.
I hope that doesn't sound too crazy!!
I'm seeking a meeting involving lots of passionate French kissing, caressing and massaging (yes, I'll give the massage!), etc., and I guarantee I can make you cum while you're still fully clothed - hope that sounds ok.
**

 ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 08 September 2016, 08:12:43 am
I am so creeped out by messages from cocks who say they will may me cum

'Im great with my tongue and will make you cum'
'I want to meet your needs and make you cum'

Just recently i told 2 of them that i dont cum with clients, but i can pretend really well if they want me to. I know it loses me those specific clients, but my stomach turns sometimes. And as for the guy that wants to meet my needs...!!! I need you to pay me, fuck me and fuck off!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 08 September 2016, 09:22:37 pm
Had this charmer the other day by text:

"How much without condom or don't you do that? Xx"
I said I don't do bareback and he replied:
"That's good to hear x"
So I told him that actually I wasn't going to take a booking from him as he asked for bareback and then blocked him. I don't appreciate clients "testing" me to see if I offer bareback if asked/offered extra cash.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 08 September 2016, 09:25:43 pm
Quote from: Rainbow on 08 September 2016, 08:12:43 am
I am so creeped out by messages from cocks who say they will may me cum

'Im great with my tongue and will make you cum'
'I want to meet your needs and make you cum'

Just recently i told 2 of them that i dont cum with clients, but i can pretend really well if they want me to. I know it loses me those specific clients, but my stomach turns sometimes. And as for the guy that wants to meet my needs...!!! I need you to pay me, fuck me and fuck off!

I totally agree with this!
I often find it hard to orgasm even with my long term partner who actually knows what they're doing - so random clients are not going to get me there. I had one guy who insisted on only booking at the time of day I'd be most horny - I almost told him that I'd never be horny for him!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 08 September 2016, 11:48:48 pm
I had someone who actually asked for bareback and offered LESS cash  ???

So basically, 'would you like to risk your life and health for this attractive offer of... LESS cash than your normal rate?'

Never mind the fact that my profile makes it clear that if you try to haggle I'll refuse to see you and if you ask for bareback I'll refuse to see you and he somehow, impressively managed to do both.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Paprika82 on 08 September 2016, 11:56:58 pm
"Will you see two white guys? You'll be like a hotdog between two slices of white bread."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Teddy Bear on 09 September 2016, 01:18:50 am
Barking one syllable words down the phone at me, learn to string a sentence together. They wouldn't bark 'appointment' down any other service providers phone so why ours?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 09 September 2016, 02:00:17 am
Quote from: Paprika82 on 08 September 2016, 11:56:58 pm
"Will you see two white guys? You'll be like a hotdog between two slices of white bread."

Hahahahahahaha. Wtf.  :D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 09 September 2016, 08:58:10 am
Got this at 5am this morning:

Blackpool needs bananas xx

I'm not going to even guess  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 09 September 2016, 10:56:52 am
I've noticed more of these.  Guys emailing on AW with NOTHING in the message body, just a question in the subject box, way to go to scream you are TW/spammer.  This one last night:

Hi Babe,Are you free? Any chance of an appointment? X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 09 September 2016, 12:14:34 pm
'You wear a sanitary towel in panties for sex please'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 09 September 2016, 02:36:10 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 09 September 2016, 12:14:34 pm
'You wear a sanitary towel in panties for sex please'

Ha, I would so do this! Sounds kinky ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 09 September 2016, 04:17:32 pm
 A guy that just earned a block on AW:
I am looking of a complete PSE 2 hours for ?2700 which includes bareback, creampie and A-level. I have my STI report which I got 3 days ago you can have a look.

:FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 10 September 2016, 02:56:07 am
I had a lovely brief moment of oneupmanship today.

I've just passed my second anniversary of whoring, and about every six months I've had a call from a well-spoken Scotsman on a withheld number. Really gorgeous accent, sounds 30s-40s. The first two times I didn't really twig, but I did on the third though I just played along. On the first call we arranged a booking on the next day and he was going to bring me a retro suspender belt, the other two times he just said he would call back (with his number showing) to arrange a booking.

He's lived in different places near me - Watford, Hemel, Amersham and today Hemel again. Different names. But his wife died 3-6 months ago from cancer or a car crash. Sometimes he has children, sometimes he doesn't.

So today I gave him a minute to do his opening spiel, then said, "Just to say - we have spoken three times before". He was adamant we hadn't. "We have - you've lived in Watford and Hemel and your wives have died of..." Click!

They really do think we're stupid, don't they?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 10 September 2016, 08:35:23 am
Ha ha serve the bugger right Kay.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 10 September 2016, 12:23:32 pm
Apparantly I am a "spoilsport" because I don't allow my breasts to be played with during a session.

1) I don't offer a GFE at all. 2) I fucking hate my boobs being touched at the best of times, even more so since I developed a painful inflammatory condition that also affects my boobs. 3) My body, my rules.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 10 September 2016, 12:37:47 pm
Quote from: Kay on 10 September 2016, 02:56:07 am
I had a lovely brief moment of oneupmanship today.

I've just passed my second anniversary of whoring, and about every six months I've had a call from a well-spoken Scotsman on a withheld number. Really gorgeous accent, sounds 30s-40s. The first two times I didn't really twig, but I did on the third though I just played along. On the first call we arranged a booking on the next day and he was going to bring me a retro suspender belt, the other two times he just said he would call back (with his number showing) to arrange a booking.

He's lived in different places near me - Watford, Hemel, Amersham and today Hemel again. Different names. But his wife died 3-6 months ago from cancer or a car crash. Sometimes he has children, sometimes he doesn't.

So today I gave him a minute to do his opening spiel, then said, "Just to say - we have spoken three times before". He was adamant we hadn't. "We have - you've lived in Watford and Hemel and your wives have died of..." Click!

They really do think we're stupid, don't they?
That's great! I have a guy like this he is saved under Lee repeat in my phone.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 10 September 2016, 12:54:32 pm
Ho hum I have a feeling I've had this text before, so bear in mind my profile/website say I only consider overnight's after an initial shorter booking and how he  claims to have specifically browsed my profile...TW central....

Hi,called to no avail,however,not to worry,have been browsing your amazing profile to find what a lovely,stunning lady you are,hence,just to enquire if you may be interested in a overnight (date given),with every intention to extend over the weekend,venue,ibis hotel (address details) very genuine,honest @ above all reliable,i get on with most people in life @ very approachable,please let me know your thoughts @ look forward to hearing from you soon,kind regards C xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 10 September 2016, 03:32:15 pm
Quote from: LadyOfTheNight on 10 September 2016, 12:54:32 pm
Ho hum I have a feeling I've had this text before, so bear in mind my profile/website say I only consider overnight's after an initial shorter booking and how he  claims to have specifically browsed my profile...TW central....

Hi,called to no avail,however,not to worry,have been browsing your amazing profile to find what a lovely,stunning lady you are,hence,just to enquire if you may be interested in a overnight (date given),with every intention to extend over the weekend,venue,ibis hotel (address details) very genuine,honest @ above all reliable,i get on with most people in life @ very approachable,please let me know your thoughts @ look forward to hearing from you soon,kind regards C xxx

the most annoying part of this is how he thinks @ is an abbreviation for 'and'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 10 September 2016, 05:32:51 pm
Arrrgh another fucking idiot!  Look at the nerve of this guy.....

Hi I'm X 42 and live in X, just sore u AW prof and think u look incredible.I have read your profile. I'm married and have a joint bank account so ?X is out of my league and being married I would not want full sex. I would love to pay u to do a quick pose in u undies for a few mins while I relieve myself. Discretion assured. No touching seeing the real thing better than the internet hahahaha.... Hope to hear from u

I don't fucking think so.
WTF I mean seriously is it wanker Saturday or something?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 10 September 2016, 05:56:13 pm
Quote from: LadyOfTheNight on 10 September 2016, 05:32:51 pm
I don't fucking think so.
WTF I mean seriously is it wanker Saturday or something?

Pretty sure it is judging by this clown.

Sent me an email on AW last night saying would I be interested in a gangbang. I replied "No sorry don't do group bookings xx"
I then get a phone call this afternoon saying "I'm [XX], I sent you a mail on AW asking about gangbangs."
Me: Yes, I -
Him: [interrupting] I just find it incredibly horny, it's really my thing [blathers on for 20 seconds about group sex]
Me: Well I did repl-
Him: [interrupting] What I really love is a woman who is greedy for lots of men [another 40 seconds of wank]
Me: [sighs loudly]
Him: So what do you say?
Me: No.
Him: ...What?
Me: If you'd read my reply on AW you could have saved yourself a phone call. I don't do group bookings.
Him: Oh I did see your reply but I just really want a group booking with you.
Me: No.
Him: ...What? Well what about if I see you alone?
Me: No.
Him: ...What?
Me: I will not be accepting any booking with you [XX]. You need to find a service provider who offers what you're looking for.
Him: [blessed silence]

Idiot is now saved in my phone as Gangbang Couldn't Get A Word In Edgeways  :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 10 September 2016, 09:15:52 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 10 September 2016, 05:56:13 pm

Idiot is now saved in my phone as Gangbang Couldn't Get A Word In Edgeways  :FF :FF :FF

Love it! :D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 10 September 2016, 09:19:23 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 10 September 2016, 09:15:52 pm
Love it! :D ;D

Me too LOL  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 11 September 2016, 11:09:34 am
Oh I can earn ?300 - ?400 for a 2 hour booking in Germany.

See me jumping for joy  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 13 September 2016, 05:52:18 pm
I just don't get why guys deliberately waste our time. I sometimes play along knowing the booking is unlikely.

Take today a guy emails, asks to see me, I do the usual ask for a date/time which he provides. Then I say please call by X time today (for a booking tomorrow)....oh yes he says he'll call in the next couple of hours. Ho hum...on the dot of 2 hours he emails saying he has to have his daughter tomorrow and vaguely says he'll try to book this week...

He was a tad over enthusiastic from the word go, slightly vague so its not like I thought he was likely to be genuine. God I just KNEW he wouldn't call!

Why the fuck do they do it....that's rhetorical really I know there's all sorts of dickish guys out there but still I think why, why why?! Sad sad lives they must have.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 13 September 2016, 06:51:35 pm
Had a guy phone this morning. He phoned the other week asking for 15 minutes but never called back. He wanted the same again today for ?30. I told him it was 40. He said - oh - like it was up to him to decide my prices for me. Never have I done 15 minutes for ?30. It was ?35 once but that was ages ago.  :FF ::) Oh, and he wanted to see me in 20 minutes. Er, a bit of notice would be nice  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 14 September 2016, 01:36:37 am
Quote from: Gypsy on 13 September 2016, 06:51:35 pm
Had a guy phone this morning. He phoned the other week asking for 15 minutes but never called back. He wanted the same again today for ?30. I told him it was 40. He said - oh - like it was up to him to decide my prices for me. Never have I done 15 minutes for ?30. It was ?35 once but that was ages ago.  :FF ::) Oh, and he wanted to see me in 20 minutes. Er, a bit of notice would be nice  ::)

You make them a massive favour by seeing them for 15min for ?40 anyway... I guess some of them will try to push whatever they think they can. Seriously , 15min for ?40 you can't argue...they should be happy or f*** off
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 14 September 2016, 02:33:19 am
I seem to have had a spate of cheapy seekers in the past couple of weeks - wanting 15 minutes, BJs only etc. One I've seen before rang to ask when my next offer would be on: it's only 10 bloody quid off!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 14 September 2016, 08:44:48 am
Quote from: ladyinred on 14 September 2016, 01:36:37 am
You make them a massive favour by seeing them for 15min for ?40 anyway... I guess some of them will try to push whatever they think they can. Seriously , 15min for ?40 you can't argue...they should be happy or f*** off

And he says what does that include. I said everything and he still wanted to pay 30  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 14 September 2016, 09:44:49 am
That is why I have stopped doing quickies they seem to attract hagglers.  I find it very insulting when they start stating they wish to pay only ?30.

It is like sayiing that is all we are worth.  Perhaps they do not realise how it sounds.

I am going to do quickies just Jan/Feb the quieter months of winter as they are handy then.  No other times.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 14 September 2016, 09:45:17 am
Quote from: Kay on 14 September 2016, 02:33:19 am
I seem to have had a spate of cheapy seekers in the past couple of weeks - wanting 15 minutes, BJs only etc. One I've seen before rang to ask when my next offer would be on: it's only 10 bloody quid off!

That's why I don't do offers. They don't respect that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 14 September 2016, 10:19:02 am
Text yesterday.
'Hi can you text me your email address so I can describe the sort of session I'm after, it's very detailed too long for a text'

"You can email via adultwork"

'I have some bad feedback on that site and didn't want to put you off'

Fool!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 14 September 2016, 11:45:43 am
Quote from: Nia Hope on 14 September 2016, 10:19:02 am
Text yesterday.
'Hi can you text me your email address so I can describe the sort of session I'm after, it's very detailed too long for a text'


I bet you were excited to read that
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 14 September 2016, 12:00:29 pm
Hi its Steve and did speak to you yesterday afternoon. Can you book me in for next Monday at 2pm. I know you said (the general area I'm in which I put on my profile) so just let me have road name and post code please thanks x

I checked my phone and this is his first contact so blatantly lying.

Note to punters WG's aren't stupid
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 14 September 2016, 12:41:46 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 14 September 2016, 12:00:29 pm
Hi its Steve and did speak to you yesterday afternoon. Can you book me in for next Monday at 2pm. I know you said (the general area I'm in which I put on my profile) so just let me have road name and post code please thanks x

I checked my phone and this is his first contact so blatantly lying.

Note to punters WG's aren't stupid
I hate it when they are sly like this,
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 14 September 2016, 12:49:57 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 14 September 2016, 12:00:29 pm
Hi its Steve and did speak to you yesterday afternoon. Can you book me in for next Monday at 2pm. I know you said (the general area I'm in which I put on my profile) so just let me have road name and post code please thanks x

I checked my phone and this is his first contact so blatantly lying.

Note to punters WG's aren't stupid

As if we're going to tell them virtually the whole address like that. I've had a few texts recently like this. I'm not a bloody walk in centre!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 14 September 2016, 01:32:11 pm
Quote from: Gypsy on 14 September 2016, 12:49:57 pm
As if we're going to tell them virtually the whole address like that. I've had a few texts recently like this. I'm not a bloody walk in centre!
Like guys that ring and the first thing they say is 'Can I have your address?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 14 September 2016, 02:23:06 pm
Quote from: Gypsy on 13 September 2016, 06:51:35 pm
Had a guy phone this morning. He phoned the other week asking for 15 minutes but never called back. He wanted the same again today for ?30. I told him it was 40. He said - oh - like it was up to him to decide my prices for me. Never have I done 15 minutes for ?30. It was ?35 once but that was ages ago.  :FF ::) Oh, and he wanted to see me in 20 minutes. Er, a bit of notice would be nice  ::)

I seem to have 15 minute requests by email/on the phone more and more. I don't offer them, have never offered them  >:( I mean 6 months ago I stopped doing 30 minute bookings so yeh of course its logical I'd do 15 minutes  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 14 September 2016, 03:24:21 pm
Quote from: ladyinred on 14 September 2016, 09:45:17 am
That's why I don't do offers. They don't respect that.


I'm same, on the very few occasions that I've put any offers on (either on my aw page or over the phone) All the callers have done is taken the piss and totally disrespected me for what I've offered by trying to barter me down even further and/or ask for other services that aren't on offer!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 14 September 2016, 08:16:16 pm
Hi (my name).......that's all they text. I mean what am I supposed to do with that? Do they want a booking? A nice chat and a cup of tea? What?

This morning I had someone informing me they could get the best white and green around. I don't take drugs, been a very long time since I was into recreational substances, and I'm really not impressed with some twat using my escort number to text me. It's to book on, not push drugs!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 15 September 2016, 06:58:13 am
When they send an email on AW sounding normal asking for two hours and give their mobile number and name.

Then I go to my phone and realise they are saved under Bareback Avoid.

Good job I kept hold of their number.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 15 September 2016, 10:08:57 am
Quote from: CurlsnCurves on 14 September 2016, 08:16:16 pm
Hi (my name).......that's all they text. I mean what am I supposed to do with that? Do they want a booking? A nice chat and a cup of tea? What?

This morning I had someone informing me they could get the best white and green around. I don't take drugs, been a very long time since I was into recreational substances, and I'm really not impressed with some twat using my escort number to text me. It's to book on, not push drugs!!!
Ha!Sometimes I don't even get a name I just get 'Hi' like I'm going to bother answering!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 15 September 2016, 10:16:16 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 15 September 2016, 10:08:57 am
Ha!Sometimes I don't even get a name I just get 'Hi' like I'm going to bother answering!

I can go one better an email with no content, just a ? in the subject line.

Exceedingly lazy, stupid or drunk, you decide   ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 15 September 2016, 11:46:57 am
Hi, do I have to book or can I just turn up?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendall on 15 September 2016, 12:11:31 pm
When they ring and don't even bother with a hello or any sort of polite introduction they just grunt free today? Winds me right up
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 15 September 2016, 01:59:46 pm
Quote from: Kdub on 15 September 2016, 12:11:31 pm
When they ring and don't even bother with a hello or any sort of polite introduction they just grunt free today? Winds me right up
Or, You working?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luciexx on 15 September 2016, 03:40:20 pm
"Can you be a secretary who wants to get FUCKED BY HER BOSS"?  It's a 30 minutes booking.

me: "ah................................................... No. "  (just too graphic from the jump start)  Am I too harsh?  Too ......choosy?  Too sensitive?    ???

"what costume have you got?" in text - Me: _______ (no reply)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 15 September 2016, 05:46:41 pm
Text recieved - hi need a good fuck.

Is this a question? A statement? A request?

I replied with - yes, im just arranging one now.  He hasnt replied

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 15 September 2016, 06:07:45 pm
Quote from: Rainbow on 15 September 2016, 05:46:41 pm
Text recieved - hi need a good fuck.

Is this a question? A statement? A request?

I replied with - yes, im just arranging one now.  He hasnt replied


When they ring and just say "You working?" I say yes I am fully booked all day.


Another one that bugs the fuck out of me is when they ring up and say "Are you busy today?" Why ask that, surely the question should be "Are you available today?"  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 15 September 2016, 06:11:57 pm
The guy who has texted me about 4 times now asking the same idiotic question about me carrying him around his home town on my shoulders, and each time I've politely told him I'm not interested...I would have ignored but he needs telling to get the message through to his thick head..I just sent " No now stop wasting my time you fool"  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 16 September 2016, 02:07:07 am
Quote from: katrina on 15 September 2016, 06:11:57 pm
The guy who has texted me about 4 times now asking the same idiotic question about me carrying him around his home town on my shoulders, and each time I've politely told him I'm not interested...I would have ignored but he needs telling to get the message through to his thick head..I just sent " No now stop wasting my time you fool"  ::)

Probably better to not respond to that one that person seems to get around as a TW.

Today has been costume enquiry day for me lots of people asking about costumes tons of endless questions on what I can wear trying to draw me into a long chat on what we can do "Can we do this? What about if we did this and this?" etc and then as soon as I mention a deposit they vanish. Feels like a while since somebody talking about costumes was actually serious about bookings. Got one chancer who asked me if he could have pictures of me in the costume to decide if he likes it  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sexymilf on 16 September 2016, 09:13:52 am
I had a TW asking if he could bring his toy cars and could i crush them for him???

Some issues going on there i think
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 16 September 2016, 09:55:49 am
Quote from: Sexymilf on 16 September 2016, 09:13:52 am
I had a TW asking if he could bring his toy cars and could i crush them for him???

Some issues going on there i think

He sends that to loads of people, myself included.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 16 September 2016, 01:00:57 pm
This is why I only put my number on AW when I absolutely have to. I can only take so many time wasters a day.

Me: Hi, how can I help you today?
TW: Where are you for incalls?
Me: (inwardly sighing, its on my damn profile)...I'm in X..
TW: Ok...(some blurb)...when do you work until?
Me: I don't work late, what time are you thinking of?
TW: (more blurb) the evening around 8pm?
Me: That's fine. Ok what day is that?
TW: I'm not sure yet, I will give you a few days notice ok
Me: Well my profile does say I'm only here another few days.
TW: Oh I didn't see that (dickhead its plastered around 3 times on my profile) when is your last evening?
Me: Sunday
TW: Ok I will try and sort something out and will give you a call around midday....(blah, blah)
Me: (cutting in, bored with all this) no problem, bye then

I've no doubt I won't be hearing back from this guy. Edit I double checked my profile it actually says LAST FEW DAYS in my damn tagline. A ringarounder
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 16 September 2016, 03:10:37 pm
And via email entitled 'hi young lady'

[Hi as I've just moved to the area after separation and need of some relief and would like to try some tie and tease if possible as tie me to something then tie my cock then drain me if possible thanks G
xxxx ps stunning

Firstly I'm not young.
Secondly I don't do OWO let alone CIM.
Thirdly I'm only doing GFE currently, stated all over my profile.

Mr Spamalot methinks. Oh yes and he's hidden his FB...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 16 September 2016, 04:58:35 pm
"how many girls working ?"

LOL  ;D :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 16 September 2016, 06:36:16 pm
It's fuckwit Friday  >:(

A guy booked me, was rather abrupt on the phone then...

Text 1: Just sex no massage ok

Me: I never mentioned massage Are you sure you're texting the right person?

Text 2: Yes just making sure

Me: (giving benefit of doubt)sends postcode

Text 3: Good fuck ok?

Me - sends text cancelling saying I don't exchange explicit texts. I block him but cannot resist checking he's now sending texts asking if I'm an escort  ::). I resend the canx text adding 'can it be any clearer no experienced escort exchanges explicit texts'. He replied saying 'so you keep saying'.

Yeh because you're such a dickhead TW! (no I didn't send that just wanted to). I'm not engaging any more with this twat.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 16 September 2016, 07:41:02 pm
Quote from: LadyOfTheNight on 16 September 2016, 03:10:37 pm
And via email entitled 'hi young lady'

[Hi as I've just moved to the area after separation and need of some relief and would like to try some tie and tease if possible as tie me to something then tie my cock then drain me if possible thanks G
xxxx ps stunning

Firstly I'm not young.
Secondly I don't do OWO let alone CIM.
Thirdly I'm only doing GFE currently, stated all over my profile.

Mr Spamalot methinks. Oh yes and he's hidden his FB...

Makes me feel ill when they say they want 'draining'.  Men are so vile sometimes
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 17 September 2016, 12:51:58 am
oh dear. Now I feel bad for saying "Just got to go and de-spunk
Do you think I will have to surrender my feminist card?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 17 September 2016, 09:46:10 am
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 17 September 2016, 12:51:58 am
oh dear. Now I feel bad for saying "Just got to go and de-spunk
  • "

Do you think I will have to surrender my feminist card?

Nah, things sound different from a woman lol. Thinking about it, im proper vile myself! If i was a man, i would be disgusted with myself! Im a big believer in double standards :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 17 September 2016, 09:52:27 am
I know it doesnt make good business sense but ive just blocked a regular. Last week i cancelled cuz i was ill, but he still text begging if i could still see him. That really pissed me off. What a very selfish man! Yesterday and today he is has been calling and texting to see me. Ive just blocked the smelly git. I never relished seeing him anyway.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 17 September 2016, 10:07:35 am
Hi hunny can i book an hour of your best service?

As opposed to my shit one or mediocre one? Twonk!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emi787 on 17 September 2016, 11:16:30 am
him: Hi do you take it up the arse?
me: no, do you? (lol I wasn't feeling happy)
him: yes for the right girl
me: that's nice
him: can you do it for extra?
me: perhaps for an extra ?1k if you're not too big
him: wow ur expensive!!
me: no shit sherlock
him: very unprofessional
me: learn some manners
him: what are you on about?
 :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 17 September 2016, 12:13:34 pm
Hi, i'm jim, and looking for a 2 hr booking. Im 62 and fit. I cycle, row (blah blah blah). Let me tell you what i like and hopefully it will match what you like (yawn). Edging and tantric will give you a clue (and so it goes, giving details about soft touching and making it last the whole 2 boring hrs).... i love romance and love the journey as much as the destination (oh purlease). I would also reciprocate this way of touching to please you.

My response

Hi, as stated in my profile, i only see new clients for a maximum of 1 hr. Im happy to touch you in the way that you have requested.

I reserve tantric sex for my master. As you know, tantric is all about having a deep connection with someone. I only have this for him, not clients.

His response - i dont think we are suited

No shit sherlock!! I looked at his feedback, he seems genuine. One escort raves about a great 3hr session on tantric sex. Jesus, i couldnt stomache that. I dont do that level of intamacy. I want them in, emptied of money and spunk and out.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 17 September 2016, 04:18:32 pm
Quote from: Rainbow on 17 September 2016, 12:13:34 pm
One escort raves about a great 3hr session on tantric sex. Jesus, i couldnt stomache that. I dont do that level of intamacy. I want them in, emptied of money and spunk and out.

Thanks Rainbow you certainly made me laugh with that one.
Jim. God. I agree, I have seen a few Jims and I deserve an Oscar for my performance. I don't think all the acting is worth the money anymore hahaha !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 17 September 2016, 05:11:34 pm
Another essay from a guy who wrote 30 field reports.... Does he have a life?  ;D :FF He also told me he wants shoes peep toe shoes  (I hate them) and expensive authentique nylons stockings (he said he doesn't want hold ups, only stockings, his being so picky with the outfit sounds a bit gay and it's a sign of a terrible booking) so I advised him to get it himself and book someone else. Avoid, avoid !  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 17 September 2016, 06:23:08 pm
AW message as copied from my email...


-----------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Pubes
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Sub Dom bi male esc got any work going
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Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 17 September 2016, 06:48:16 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 17 September 2016, 06:23:08 pm
AW message as copied from my email...


-----------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Pubes
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Sub Dom bi male esc got any work going
-----------------------------------------------------------------


Oh yeah he's been texting/calling/emailing me and others for literally years. I once spoke to him on the phone and told him that I will NEVER want or need him to 'work with me' so to stop being silly...He spat his dummy out,  tantrummed and got all abusive boo hoo  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 17 September 2016, 07:58:04 pm
100% TWs today, topped off by this email:

Hi
I liked your profile and Im interested in booking a 2or3hrs session.
would you do lots of kicking in the balls, if so would you do this for most of the time and how hard would you kick them.

also would you do any cock biting if so how hard,
if so how much of it would you try and bite.
u happy to really go for it
Maybe we could a scenario for this and
I wanted something else too
Thanks

Nowhere on my profile do I say I do any of this  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 18 September 2016, 02:05:00 am
Lyke big dick I meet

Whaaaa

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 18 September 2016, 06:03:21 pm
Quote from: LadyOfTheNight on 17 September 2016, 07:58:04 pm
100% TWs today, topped off by this email:

Hi
I liked your profile and Im interested in booking a 2or3hrs session.
would you do lots of kicking in the balls, if so would you do this for most of the time and how hard would you kick them.

also would you do any cock biting if so how hard,
if so how much of it would you try and bite.
u happy to really go for it
Maybe we could a scenario for this and
I wanted something else too
Thanks

Nowhere on my profile do I say I do any of this  >:(

Oh I bet he wants a  scenario for this and to write a 10 page essay about it detailing every last thing he wants to do and wants you to do.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 18 September 2016, 06:05:10 pm
Him: Hey xx

Me: Fuck off with your heys.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 18 September 2016, 09:04:59 pm
Quote from: LadyOfTheNight on 17 September 2016, 07:58:04 pm
100% TWs today, topped off by this email:

Hi
I liked your profile and Im interested in booking a 2or3hrs session.
would you do lots of kicking in the balls, if so would you do this for most of the time and how hard would you kick them.

also would you do any cock biting if so how hard,
if so how much of it would you try and bite.
u happy to really go for it
Maybe we could a scenario for this and
I wanted something else too
Thanks

Nowhere on my profile do I say I do any of this  >:(
I got this exact email about 3 weeks ago lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Willow Summers on 18 September 2016, 09:34:06 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 18 September 2016, 06:05:10 pm
Him: Hey xx

Me: Fuck off with your heys.

ROFL   literally had me laughing out loud
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 18 September 2016, 11:53:24 pm
I just received this now on LocalEscort site he added his email but i removed the details.
Soon as I read the second line I did not bother reading further just blocked him.
Seems his a copy and paste to many ladies as clearly I am not a mature escort :FF


Hello  I am Harry Albin Mills 51yrs old male from Ukraine..I would love
to have you on my business trip to Africa/Nigeria on the 10th of
october 2016 for 8 days,i need a matured escort who is very
decent,kind,honest,trustworthy and secretive just to protect my image
 and name,i was checking the web and found your Ad so cool on
(.......) and  followed the link to your page to read more
about you so i decided to pick you for the trip.i need you to come
keep my company throughout my stay in Africa/Nigeria Republic.I will
pay you a sum of (4,000pounds) for this trip per day for 8 days,and I will
pay you an upfront of(12,000pounds) even before you leave your state.All
Necessary documents will be arranged by me,so feel free to get back to
me if you are interested and willing to go with me.Please do get back
to me only if you are willing and able to go with me as i don't want
to waste my time, and do get back to me ASAP because of other things at hand cos
i am a busy man. Look forward to hearing back from you soon.Please get
 back to me through my email address(harrymills.......)

He seriously must think that he will get a female that will up and fly off with him without even spending company here in the UK first. What a punk. My guess he is not from the place he says he is from and just another scam the ones you get targeted in normal mail
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 19 September 2016, 12:12:44 am
It's either a scam or you wouldn't be coming back from this trip...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 19 September 2016, 01:19:43 am
Quote from: ladyinred on 19 September 2016, 12:12:44 am
It's either a scam or you wouldn't be coming back from this trip...
Absolutely say bye bye forever to London. The cheek of some even resorting to us ladies to be scammed thinking were dumb. lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 19 September 2016, 01:51:07 am
Quote from: JasmineEbonyBritish on 19 September 2016, 01:19:43 am
Absolutely say bye bye forever to London. The cheek of some even resorting to us ladies to be scammed thinking were dumb. lol x

You'd be surprised how many do get scammed I've read plenty of horror stories since I started of people who got scammed either for a freebie or they gave money to a scammer. These emails are just the easy to spot scams everyone gets. I get something from a wealthy Nigerian who wants me to accompany him on business in Africa every month or various Saudi princes in London lol. Most recent was a guy who wanted me to come to Turkey and offered me a bunch of money to "Lay on the beach" as he put it pretty sure that one is a pimp.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 19 September 2016, 12:27:27 pm
Could also be a scam to get your personal details, Name, address, email and passport details. Next thing you know someone is taking over your identity. Internet fraudsters.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 19 September 2016, 02:44:22 pm
Quote from: JasmineEbonyBritish on 18 September 2016, 11:53:24 pm
i need a matured escort

Cavern aged for 18 months...  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 19 September 2016, 10:09:41 pm
HIM: hi are you incalling yet

ME: no sorry, not yet.

HIM: could i not get us a hotel? and how old are u actually?

ME: Yes you can get a hotel, that will be an outcall, which is how I work. I am 44, as my profile states.

HIM: haha im 19 ;-) your in for a treat xx

BLOCKED. Yuck.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 20 September 2016, 10:47:13 am
Him: u available
Me: I'm available in Sheffield all this week
Him: Ring me
Me: Pay me.
Him: what

Fucking rude cock  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 20 September 2016, 12:17:09 pm
I had a caller actually scoff when I said 'hold on, let me check my schedule'. Sorry, is it hilarious that someone who runs an appointment based business has a schedule?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 20 September 2016, 02:41:34 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 20 September 2016, 12:17:09 pm
I had a caller actually scoff when I said 'hold on, let me check my schedule'. Sorry, is it hilarious that someone who runs an appointment based business has a schedule?!

I'm sure many just assume all we do is sit on a bed naked all day waiting for people to come over. God forbid we try to organise bookings so there is enough time to make sure we are clean and look good for each client and in the case of incalls make sure the place looks nice for when they come in. But considering some of the places I've walked into that seem totally unprepared for company and the mess they are in they maybe just assume everyone is like them and doesn't plan for anything.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 September 2016, 03:27:49 pm
I think alot of clients it just doesn't occur to them that they aren't the only one to have  called and booked us and so it is a shock to them when you say you are busy or need to just check your other appointments for the day.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 September 2016, 03:32:38 pm
Bloke emails me on AW while I am on holiday with the dates of my holiday in capital letters on the main profile and 'ON HOLIDAY' on my strap line to ask if I do bookings in a cheer leader outfit.
He'd clearly bought my private gallery where I had a couple of pics of me in a silly cheerleader outfit so ok fair enough.
When I returned I answered politely No for him to ask if I still have the panties...yeah cos I'd keep part of the outfit that I've already said I don't have.
He then asks if I have similar panties cos he has a thing for panties.So why not ask about knickers from the off rather than a specific outfit?!?
Told him I'd have a look and get back to him if I find any like that..he'll have a long wait!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luciexx on 21 September 2016, 07:18:05 pm
Has anyone else got this disgusting message?

Hi, I am a generous professional.  I would like to come in your vagina and anus.  Would that be okay?

 >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 21 September 2016, 07:40:06 pm
Quote from: Luciexx on 21 September 2016, 07:18:05 pm
Has anyone else got this disgusting message?

Hi, I am a generous professional.  I would like to come in your vagina and anus.  Would that be okay?

 >:(

No, but compared with many messages I wouldn't say it was massively "disgusting"? If he doesn't have English as a first language especially he might not be referring to bareback.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luciexx on 21 September 2016, 09:02:44 pm
Worse than that?  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jill on 21 September 2016, 10:58:27 pm
A non English man rang me once, asked if I would pay attention to his testes.
It was not a bad request or abusive but the word "testes" just got me.  I had to say I was busy and could not see him. If he had turned up and said that word again I would not have been able to control my giggles.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luciexx on 22 September 2016, 09:18:08 am
Quote from: Kay on 21 September 2016, 07:40:06 pm
If he doesn't have English as a first language especially he might not be referring to bareback.

An English guy also asked me:

Him: Can I cum inside your ass? 

Me: oh, no bareback.  I don't do any bareback.

Him:  No, it's not bareback.  Just coming inside your ass.

Me: that IS BAREBACK! (at this point, quite annoyed lol)

Him: no, it's cream pie, not bareback.

__

Is he right?   :o


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luciexx on 22 September 2016, 09:25:05 am
Quote from: Jill on 21 September 2016, 10:58:27 pm
A non English man rang me once, asked if I would pay attention to his testes.
It was not a bad request or abusive but the word "testes" just got me.  I had to say I was busy and could not see him. If he had turned up and said that word again I would not have been able to control my giggles.

I recently had someone who hardly spoke English.  Boy, he made me giggle a lot, too..... Initially, I thought I was going to get raided (or he will take my money away etc) as he looked more like a gang member, possibly....smartly dressed but looked rather strong and spoke forcefully.... ::)  It turned out he was a bit cheeky but genuine.   I was slightly worried if he would be able to understand me over the phone but he found where I was much quicker than anyone else and it was hassle-free.   I realise that you are still smart even when your command of English isn't so great.   
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 22 September 2016, 11:29:44 am
Quote from: Luciexx on 22 September 2016, 09:18:08 am
An English guy also asked me:

Him: Can I cum inside your ass? 

Me: oh, no bareback.  I don't do any bareback.

Him:  No, it's not bareback.  Just coming inside your ass.

Me: that IS BAREBACK! (at this point, quite annoyed lol)

Him: no, it's cream pie, not bareback.

__

Is he right?   :o

To avoid confusion over jargon, I usually rephrase it as "I only allow full sex with condoms."

But no he wasn't right, in order to create a creampie (i.e. leaving spunk in your arse or pussy) by definition it has to be bareback, otherwise the "cream" will be inside the condom!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jill on 22 September 2016, 11:44:34 am
I just declined a booking with a young sounding man who gave me iffy vibes on the phone. He then texted me "why not i cudnt rember ur details but no ur mature which iz wot i lyk lol"

Methinks I made the right decision.  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 22 September 2016, 01:39:11 pm
Hi,

My old account got deleted for some unexplained reason and had reviews of 27 girls I had seen in the past I can provide you their adultwork url and my name for reference.

I am looking for an overnight session this weekend for which I am willing to pay ?3000, I am looking for pornstar/girlfriend experience which means no use of condoms.

In order to practice bareback safely we need to get tested, I have my recent STI result and hope you have yours. In case your STI result is over 1 week old we may have to get tested together at a facility which gives instant results there are many such facilities I know of. We can meet 2 hours before and get tested.

If you trust me and are not a hypochondriac we can meet on Saturday, please let me know in advance to do the hotel reservation.

Thank You

Yours Sincerely,

William


Where does one start...... I think my best bit was 'for some reason my account got deleted' Really....  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luciexx on 22 September 2016, 02:28:42 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 22 September 2016, 11:29:44 am
To avoid confusion over jargon, I usually rephrase it as "I only allow full sex with condoms."

But no he wasn't right, in order to create a creampie (i.e. leaving spunk in your arse or pussy) by definition it has to be bareback, otherwise the "cream" will be inside the condom!
  Thank YOU!    :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 24 September 2016, 01:02:12 pm
I received this a few days ago, so as far I'm concerned this is taboo RP, my profile states I don't do taboo, even lists types of taboo I don't do  :FF still I get this:

Hi there, I have a fantasy scenario I wish to play out, and I'm trying to find a girl who'd be happy to help.
I'd like you to play my pet dog, you'd let me walk you on a lead, you'd bark, pant, lick me, offer your paw etc.. and I'd finish by fucking you doggy style, during which you'd bark throughout.
If this is something you'd be happy to do, please let me know and we can arrange a time and date x

Not only that actually I state currently I'm not doing ANY RP (due to my ankle) Read my profile asshole!!
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 24 September 2016, 01:11:07 pm
I really hope that guy isn't a dog owner.

 :-\

 :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 24 September 2016, 01:16:16 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 24 September 2016, 01:11:07 pm
I really hope that guy isn't a dog owner.

 :-\

 :D

Me too...so whilst mostly that grossed me out I had to laugh at the request to bark throughout sex  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 24 September 2016, 01:17:19 pm
Quote from: LadyOfTheNight on 24 September 2016, 01:02:12 pm
I received this a few days ago, so as far I'm concerned this is taboo RP, my profile states I don't do taboo, even lists types of taboo I don't do  :FF still I get this:

Hi there, I have a fantasy scenario I wish to play out, and I'm trying to find a girl who'd be happy to help.
I'd like you to play my pet dog, you'd let me walk you on a lead, you'd bark, pant, lick me, offer your paw etc.. and I'd finish by fucking you doggy style, during which you'd bark throughout.
If this is something you'd be happy to do, please let me know and we can arrange a time and date x


I don't offer role play but I do offer sub services, and I'd be very happy to do that. It sounds like a lot of fun to me.

That said, any naughty-puppy piddling on the floor would mean booking an outcall. I have carpet :).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 24 September 2016, 01:21:32 pm
You could be a naughty dog and cock your leg up everywhere, poo on his floor, try and bite him and run outside into his back garden/yard and start howling etc. Just make sure you get the fee first!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 24 September 2016, 01:23:55 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 24 September 2016, 01:21:32 pm
You could be a naughty dog and cock your leg up everywhere, poo on his floor, try and bite him and run outside into his back garden/yard and start howling etc. Just make sure you get the fee first!

Hahaha I'm almost tempted to reply with that scenario to see if he will bite, so to speak
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 24 September 2016, 01:24:49 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 24 September 2016, 01:21:32 pm
You could be a naughty dog and cock your leg up everywhere, poo on his floor, try and bite him and run outside into his back garden/yard and start howling etc. Just make sure you get the fee first!

:D

Waiting for him to go out and then tipping the kitchen bin over and dragging the contents all over the house would be another good one.

That said, if the above was sent when LoTN had 'no roleplay' on her profile, I daresay it's just somebody messing about. Shame.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 24 September 2016, 01:26:05 pm
Quote from: amy on 24 September 2016, 01:24:49 pm
:D

Waiting for him to go out and then tipping the kitchen bin over and dragging the contents all over the house would be another good one.

That said, if the above was sent when LoTN had 'no roleplay' on her profile, I daresay it's just somebody messing about. Shame.

Yes probably, if not I will send him your way Amy  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 24 September 2016, 04:20:39 pm
I'm sure this one has been done, but those who act like they know you- texting Hello, how are you? Or just texting 'Hi'.
Honestly do they think this is a way to endear us, if you're going to text just fucking ask me whatever you need to know!

Sometimes, I reply Who is this? (just for kicks!) to see if maybe he will then enter into a sensible conversation. but NO. 'You get I saw you on AW' or 'I like your profile'

YES AND?

Even if they do intend on booking they fail my test because this kind of nonsense irritates me so much. Of course, if I say Can you call to make a booking they invariably don't.

Grrrr
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 24 September 2016, 04:36:19 pm
Yes this winds me up too and I don't reply.If people can't send a sensible to the point text I can't be arsed trying to coax them one feckin text at a time.Just moronic timewasters.
Can you imagine setting up a hairdressing appointment like that? ::)
Another pet peeve of mine lately is people calling over and over again..I'm not working ffs..if you read my profile you would have gathered I'm probably not working as it says I only sometimes work weekends and require 24 hours notice..so by all means try once or even twice on the offchance but when it get's to call 4 or 5 time to call another hooker maybe?!?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 24 September 2016, 05:03:31 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 24 September 2016, 04:36:19 pm
Yes this winds me up too and I don't reply.If people can't send a sensible to the point text I can't be arsed trying to coax them one feckin text at a time.Just moronic timewasters.
Can you imagine setting up a hairdressing appointment like that? ::)
Another pet peeve of mine lately is people calling over and over again..I'm not working ffs..if you read my profile you would have gathered I'm probably not working as it says I only sometimes work weekends and require 24 hours notice..so by all means try once or even twice on the offchance but when it get's to call 4 or 5 time to call another hooker maybe?!?

The numerous calls drive me mental, "she didn't answer sixty seconds ago and hasn't rung me back so I better try again..." No. No. No.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 24 September 2016, 06:38:23 pm
I'm sure I've heard from this guy before nick of 8inchtrousersnake, original or what...

Hiya how are you I'm James I'm stopping in a hotel in arundel this evening and I was wondering if you was avaiable for alittle fun?

No I don't do free fun, I get paid  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Scarlettxoxo on 24 September 2016, 09:26:26 pm
I think my LEAST favourite way someone has booked me before is by placing a booking request from 1am(???!!!) on a saturday morning until 11am on sunday morning...

THAT is what he thought an overnight was, since it's TECHNICALLY "only one night spent sleeping"

before he placed the booking, he emailed me 20 times, all within a half hour, said "r u free rite now, ovrnite for 500"


I really, really hate my job sometimes.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 24 September 2016, 09:27:27 pm
Even worse than constant callers...I text one bloke who kept ringing today who had then texted asking if I could let him know when I was next available and told him I wasn't working today and as per my ad I require 24 hours notice for weekends.He then texts asking if he can just ring to ask me something so he can book for Tuesday or Wednesday!How about fuck off you ignorant pushy arsehole?!?
My other favourite texts today has been one offering coke,mdma or weed and some div who asked who I was then followed up with that he knew who I was and did I remember him..ah yes I remember people just from their random numbers.So glad I wasn't taking bookings today they sound like total weirdos!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 25 September 2016, 07:25:16 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 24 September 2016, 04:36:19 pm
Yes this winds me up too and I don't reply.If people can't send a sensible to the point text I can't be arsed trying to coax them one feckin text at a time.Just moronic timewasters.
Can you imagine setting up a hairdressing appointment like that? ::)
Another pet peeve of mine lately is people calling over and over again..I'm not working ffs..if you read my profile you would have gathered I'm probably not working as it says I only sometimes work weekends and require 24 hours notice..so by all means try once or even twice on the offchance but when it get's to call 4 or 5 time to call another hooker maybe?!?
I have an autotext reply advising I am not available and won't be answering until the following day etc...Guess what? I still get them calling repeatedly. I think they don't understand it was an automatic response and I must have sent it so must be answering.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 25 September 2016, 10:28:12 am
Yes I think you would have to put 'This is an automated text' at the beginning and you would still get them ignoring it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bristoljen on 25 September 2016, 10:38:38 am
Message on my phone this morning, can I come round now!!! Yes darling you left the message at 5am, I am waiting all dolled up and ready to go... not.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 25 September 2016, 01:00:55 pm
Received this email from AW.


You look gorgeous for 58. Do you fancy an hour with a 38 year old lad? I think we would have a great time??xx


When I read it all I could think was how does a (middle aged) MAN of 38 get off calling himself a lad?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 25 September 2016, 01:04:10 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 25 September 2016, 01:00:55 pm
Received this email from AW.


You look gorgeous for 58. Do you fancy an hour with a 38 year old lad? I think we would have a great time??xx


When I read it all I could think was how does a (middle aged) MAN of 38 get off calling himself a lad?

Because he is a knobhead  ;D all knobheads are 'lads'...same type of thing as being a 'cheeky chappy'. They're probably the apple of their mother's eye.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 25 September 2016, 01:23:47 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 25 September 2016, 01:04:10 pm
Because he is a knobhead  ;D all knobheads are 'lads'...same type of thing as being a 'cheeky chappy'. They're probably the apple of their mother's eye.
Yes you're right. What a knob! lol 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 25 September 2016, 02:49:19 pm
Idiot: Are you available today?
Me: Yes, I could see you from 2pm onwards. How long do you want to visit for?
Idiot: 15 mins.
Me: OK that's ?50 and it's oral and HR only, not full sex.
Idiot: Not full sex? [always love it when they repeat what you say like a fucking echo chamber]
Me: Yes, you'd need to book a half hour appointment for full sex, it's ?80.
Idiot: Erm, I'll have to call you back.

Half hour later I get a text:
Idiot: Will you do full sex and that for ?70?
Me: Nope

I've actually just gone and taken quickies off my rates, seems to attract the cheap-arses.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 25 September 2016, 04:12:17 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 25 September 2016, 10:28:12 am
Yes I think you would have to put 'This is an automated text' at the beginning and you would still get them ignoring it.
It does start with "AutoReply:"!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 25 September 2016, 06:41:11 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 25 September 2016, 04:12:17 pm
It does start with "AutoReply:"!!!
See and they still ignore it haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jill on 25 September 2016, 06:53:53 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 25 September 2016, 06:41:11 pm
See and they still ignore it haha!

My aw email has an auto response too which very clearly and with no chance of getting it wrong, a polite statement that I do not reply to emails if they are a new or enquiring client.  With clear advice on how to connect with me you would think it is foolproof.
Most of them adhere to this but there are always a few who think they merit a reply. They have a long wait.  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 25 September 2016, 07:52:07 pm
Quote from: Wailing Banshee on 24 September 2016, 04:20:39 pm
I'm sure this one has been done, but those who act like they know you- texting Hello, how are you? Or just texting 'Hi'.
Honestly do they think this is a way to endear us, if you're going to text just fucking ask me whatever you need to know!

Sometimes, I reply Who is this? (just for kicks!) to see if maybe he will then enter into a sensible conversation. but NO. 'You get I saw you on AW' or 'I like your profile'

YES AND?

Even if they do intend on booking they fail my test because this kind of nonsense irritates me so much. Of course, if I say Can you call to make a booking they invariably don't.

Grrrr
I text back that they don't need to chat me up, I'm a prostitute we can miss that bit out.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 25 September 2016, 08:22:51 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 25 September 2016, 07:52:07 pm
I text back that they don't need to chat me up, I'm a prostitute we can miss that bit out.

That is a great response  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetshycanada on 26 September 2016, 10:26:14 am
Lol luv the above ^

So after 25min of sorting out when and where and what sort of booking he's looking for, he asks how old I am (clearly stated in my profile) turns out he's looking for someone much younger. I was polite and refered him elsewhere but Grrrr!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 26 September 2016, 10:55:59 am
AW email 'You are stunning and beautiful....(blah blah bullshit blah).Would you send me some dirty texts..'
Yep I was just thinking how much I'd love to sit and send wank fodder for free all day long.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 26 September 2016, 05:47:39 pm
Email just now: Any this afternoon for an incall?

Any what? Oh btw it was 5.33 when you sent that, that's evening already......
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 26 September 2016, 06:52:43 pm
I got the most charming text at 3am while I was asleep


"Anal"


I was gutted I was asleep and missed my chance
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 26 September 2016, 09:13:47 pm
Sent at 4.42am:

Hi how you? Looking for a quick blow job and to lick some juicy pussy x

So sad I missed it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: francheska_xx on 27 September 2016, 01:13:25 am
Quote from: EmilyJones on 26 August 2009, 03:28:56 pm
I don't get too many oddballs - either I don't advertise very well, or my site is incredibly off-putting, lol - could easily be both! Usually I just get 3-4 genuine queries a week which turn into actual bookings, plus a couple of nonsense emails/texts/calls that I just ignore so well that they don't even register on me brain.

But one guy that I can remember recently was a little odd. He sent me loooong emails about himself, his circumstances, his reason for wanting to punt for the first time, his wife... etc. He did ask in the first email about a specific time and date for a booking, so I accepted that and ignored the rest (honestly - the Punter's Etiquette Book should include something about how over-explaining your reasons for wanting to book an escort to the poor girl just makes her feel more uneasy! And it's completely unnecessary since it's really rather obvious why he wants to do it anyway). His emails (only 3 or 4 of them, not like 2,000 texts or anything) continued and he explained at length to me the feelings he was experiencing; first excitement, then concern, then guilt! 'Twas a regular soap opera. He ended up wanting to cancel the second half (bedroom half) of the booking and only take me for lunch, at half normal rate.

I'm sure others'll think I'm weird for this but I've said it before and it's true for me, I don't really like going out and 'dating' clients for hours, for various reasons. So I told him one of the reasons, which was that I didn't have time for lunch out that day, and declined the booking, and he never did reply. I'm not annoyed but am definitely a bit curious about it all! Either he was spinning a loooong complicated yarn, or he was just very open and a little vulnerable? Either way, definitely best he doesn't see me as I don't offer a Full Emotional Support For Everything That's Going Wrong In Your Life package! A sympathetic ear, yes, but honestly, I'm not qualified to treat anything serious and who's going to listen to advice from a WG sitting around in her pants?! Even though my advice is usually EXCELLENT, lol. ;)

I dont suppose his name was BGM2010 was it? xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: francheska_xx on 27 September 2016, 01:13:43 am
Quote from: EmilyJones on 26 August 2009, 03:28:56 pm
I don't get too many oddballs - either I don't advertise very well, or my site is incredibly off-putting, lol - could easily be both! Usually I just get 3-4 genuine queries a week which turn into actual bookings, plus a couple of nonsense emails/texts/calls that I just ignore so well that they don't even register on me brain.

But one guy that I can remember recently was a little odd. He sent me loooong emails about himself, his circumstances, his reason for wanting to punt for the first time, his wife... etc. He did ask in the first email about a specific time and date for a booking, so I accepted that and ignored the rest (honestly - the Punter's Etiquette Book should include something about how over-explaining your reasons for wanting to book an escort to the poor girl just makes her feel more uneasy! And it's completely unnecessary since it's really rather obvious why he wants to do it anyway). His emails (only 3 or 4 of them, not like 2,000 texts or anything) continued and he explained at length to me the feelings he was experiencing; first excitement, then concern, then guilt! 'Twas a regular soap opera. He ended up wanting to cancel the second half (bedroom half) of the booking and only take me for lunch, at half normal rate.

I'm sure others'll think I'm weird for this but I've said it before and it's true for me, I don't really like going out and 'dating' clients for hours, for various reasons. So I told him one of the reasons, which was that I didn't have time for lunch out that day, and declined the booking, and he never did reply. I'm not annoyed but am definitely a bit curious about it all! Either he was spinning a loooong complicated yarn, or he was just very open and a little vulnerable? Either way, definitely best he doesn't see me as I don't offer a Full Emotional Support For Everything That's Going Wrong In Your Life package! A sympathetic ear, yes, but honestly, I'm not qualified to treat anything serious and who's going to listen to advice from a WG sitting around in her pants?! Even though my advice is usually EXCELLENT, lol. ;)

I dont suppose his name was BGM2010 was it? xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 27 September 2016, 02:31:22 pm
I find it really amusing when they are being ridiculous or disrespectful and their mobile number is connected to their Facebook, personal data, address... Sometimes I text them "dear (their real name) from (city they live) do you want your friends to know what you are really like / you are seeing hookers cos you can't get a real woman?" etc.  ;D
They never reply  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 27 September 2016, 02:41:38 pm
Text received last night

"Hi will you offer anal bareback I am clean and I will not come in you"

 :FF :FF :FF

(Just to add I don't offer either!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 28 September 2016, 09:42:01 am
Quote from: LadyOfTheNight on 26 September 2016, 05:47:39 pm
Email just now: Any this afternoon for an incall?

Any what? Oh btw it was 5.33 when you sent that, that's evening already......


Oh yes didn't you know that prostitutes can't tell the difference between day and night...I often have texts at 9.30pm, 10.30pm etc etc asking "You working today" and others who will call at something like 11.30am asking "Are you available this afternoon?" When I ask what time they're thinking of they say "about 12?"  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 28 September 2016, 09:44:57 am
And a man of few words just text me: "yo"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 28 September 2016, 11:03:23 am
Idiot:Can I book you for an hour at 6pm?
Me:Sure.
Idiot:Can I just check what you do and don't do?
Me:Well you tell me what you are after?
Idiot:Well I don't like GFE I like to dominate and be rough.
Me:So you thought you'd ring a lady that advertises that she offers GFE as her speciality to see if she'd like to be slapped around abit just for a change...
Idiot:Er er..
Me:Click.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 28 September 2016, 11:26:41 am
Being asked what I *don't* do annoys me. I mean, sure, there's bareback and anal or whatever relatively common things one doesn't do. But you can rattle all of these off and they'll then ask about yet another thing you don't do. "I don't do bareback, I don't take facials, I can't deep throat, and I am not submissive." "Do you do strap-on?" WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU ASK THAT TO BEGIN WITH?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 28 September 2016, 11:54:13 am
That's why I'll just ask what it is they are after rather than rattle a list off besides that it tells them clear enough that I don't offer anal etc so you just know they are asking because they are jerking off or edging for something they know full well you won't do.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 28 September 2016, 01:58:50 pm
Just had a bloke whinging because I asked him to read my postcode back to me and he couldn't find it when he'd just written it in his diary. He did find it but when he kept saying he didn't see the point of me asking despite me telling him why I decided I really didn't want him visiting after all!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 28 September 2016, 03:18:42 pm
Big long winded email asking if I'd consider an outcall for four hours , possible overnight.
Fee 220 ( that's less than 1.5 hours outcall)
Obviously he'd be filming ( no faces) it would include domination and if I wanted it to be quick as he'll probably be booked !!!!
Ha ha ha ha wanted to answer with 50 reasons why not but didn't ....I don't offer or entertain anything he asked , what a Pratt !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 28 September 2016, 05:41:22 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 26 September 2016, 06:52:43 pm
I got the most charming text at 3am while I was asleep


"Anal"


I was gutted I was asleep and missed my chance

Bahahahahaha that is all! Oh really, that gave me such a chuckle. Poor you eh!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 28 September 2016, 07:36:41 pm
Avail ?  ;D
Open ?  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 28 September 2016, 07:58:55 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 26 September 2016, 06:52:43 pm
I got the most charming text at 3am while I was asleep


"Anal"


I was gutted I was asleep and missed my chance

My God. What on earth could you reply to that!!?? What an UG.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 29 September 2016, 08:54:43 am
Hello, a quick question, can you arrange for a dog to lick you out while I masterbate.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: loubyloo on 29 September 2016, 09:20:25 am
I just got one
Got out booked in?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 29 September 2016, 03:15:26 pm
naughty boy' !! Perhaps I deserve a long hard spanking? Or maybe we shall switch?
Shall I come and see you? if so, perhaps I should give you a call this afternoon after 4pm to discuss some regular weekly appointments? if so, what number can I call you upon? I am in your area on 6th October 2016 from 7.30am - 8am owards if you would like to see me?
I can also bring along a Bottle of Bollinger Champagne and also my Aromatherapy massage oils to give you a nice long massage from top to toes?

Prick.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 29 September 2016, 03:45:15 pm
Has anyone else noticed that guys who say "I'm in town on business from London" are twats?

"oooh-er... hellooo... yas, I'm just up for a day on business from London..."

Nobody ever says they're in town from fucking Birmingham or Newcastle...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 29 September 2016, 03:54:38 pm
Guy phones...
Him...Hi Helen (good start thinks I) What services do you offer and how much is it?
Me..I offer a GFE and its ?xx per half hour.
Him..Do you do domintation?
Me..Nooooo I do a GFE, it does include OWO but besides that its a very vanilla service.
Him..Whats vanilla?
Me..Its the usual things kissing, cuddling, oral and sex with protection basically.
Him..Do you do rimming?
Me...Have you ever had a GFE?
Him..No
Me...I suggest you look it up
I hang up the phone.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 29 September 2016, 05:11:14 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 29 September 2016, 03:45:15 pm
Has anyone else noticed that guys who say "I'm in town on business from London" are twats?

"oooh-er... hellooo... yas, I'm just up for a day on business from London..."

Nobody ever says they're in town from fucking Birmingham or Newcastle...

Yes. That's because certain Londoners always think they're better than those of us from, you know, the provinces  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luciexx on 29 September 2016, 07:02:46 pm
Hi Sexy, I'm looking to make a booking for Saturday about 3pm and you look so sexy and hope you are available. I want to fuck and get all sweaty in every possible position. Do you have any outfits? I'd love to see you in a naughty school girl outfit or maybe if you have some tight gym trousers and tight top with no underwear or bra. Hope you are available and we can have some hot sexy fun. Sco*** x

Do you take this booking?
Me: nope..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 29 September 2016, 07:43:43 pm
By text:

Him: Where are you staying?
Me: Who is this?
Him: Depends whos asking
Him: I got your number off line
Him: Who is this?
Me: And you thought your first question would be "where are you staying"? Yeah that's not creepy at all.
Him: OK my bad.

Maybe I taught him something  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 29 September 2016, 10:12:08 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 29 September 2016, 03:45:15 pm
Has anyone else noticed that guys who say "I'm in town on business from London" are twats?

"oooh-er... hellooo... yas, I'm just up for a day on business from London..."

Nobody ever says they're in town from fucking Birmingham or Newcastle...


One yesterday rung me 3 times in total telling me he was 'travelling up on business from Leeds' Then he did a no show   ???


And another today he's apparently 'travelling up on business for a few days from Manchester'...He's rung 3 times so far *yawns* on the last occasion I said could he just confirm by text in the morning as I don't have time to talk he said he needed to ask my size in lingerie as he's going to buy me a sexy bra and a G string...When I humoured him by asking where he's buying it from he said Marks and Spencers...


I don't think I've ever seen G strings for sale in there  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 30 September 2016, 08:12:27 pm
how do they get through life..?  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 30 September 2016, 08:42:07 pm
Phonecall earlier:

Him: Right, so it's like this. I just got outta jail. I'll be in your area at 10.30 tonight. What's your address?

On what planet is he on to expect me to accept a booking with a potential robber, rapist, druggie, murderer etc???  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 30 September 2016, 08:43:40 pm
At least he'd probably ejaculate quickly!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 01 October 2016, 09:38:17 pm
'How much for anal, bareback and for me to cum inside you?'

 :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 01 October 2016, 09:39:04 pm
'Frantic series of missed calls from 7am this morning then a text at 8.05am:

Him: "What time later can you come to Donny"

Me: "That depends on where in Doncaster you are, how long for and what time later are you thinking?"

Him: "As soon as...in Balby and half hour?"

Me: As it says on all of my ads my available hours are from 10am weekdays, I don't work weekends unless booked in advance, I don't do half hour outcalls."



How do these type of morons actually manage to put their socks on in the morning  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 01 October 2016, 09:40:15 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 01 October 2016, 09:38:17 pm
'How much for anal, bareback and for me to cum inside you?'

 :o


I would do it for 10 billion pounds  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 01 October 2016, 09:47:27 pm
Yes, I'll suggest that. He sounds like such a classy guy!  8)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 02 October 2016, 03:37:47 pm
I just received this text message.

Hi, theres a video on youtube of this guy called kev jacking off,
embarrasing i know! For ?150 cld
u have coffee with me and ten
give me bj while i upload the vid
all over his facebook? X :FF

I am so tempted to reply back as I am in that naughty mood of dishing it out, but my mind is blank. Ladies what would your reply be? ;D  x

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 02 October 2016, 03:40:29 pm
Think my reply would just be "Nope."

Have coffee with me... so this would be in Costa? You crawl under the table to give him oral while he uses their free wifi to "upload" this imaginary video?
No thanks, if I get barred from my local Costa I will LITERALLY DIE
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 02 October 2016, 03:49:20 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 02 October 2016, 03:40:29 pm
Think my reply would just be "Nope."

Have coffee with me... so this would be in Costa? You crawl under the table to give him oral while he uses their free wifi to "upload" this imaginary video?
No thanks, if I get barred from my local Costa I will LITERALLY DIE


He probably may be filming it too with his phone while your heading is bopping up and down.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 02 October 2016, 11:17:04 pm
Apparently a girl gave this guy my number when he hit on her!

Hi there are you ok

What time do you finish work

(I told him I work till 11 and that it was too late to arrange a booking for tonight - which apparently didn't phase him thinking I was this other girl)

So if I pick you up at 11

Do you want me to go to McDonald's on the way  (she had a lucky dodge there!)

What do you want ?

Me: I think you have the wrong number

Samantha lol

Me: No I'm not Samantha

Stop messing do you want me to pick you up or not

Fine get the bus then

Me: I don't know you and you have the wrong number. stop texting me

Last night in that bar I fell in love with you and you asked me to come and pick you up when you finish tonight do you want me to or not

Me: Sorry dude but she gave you a fake number

Really
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 03 October 2016, 02:56:34 pm
A guy today arranged a booking for Friday all good until he tells me there's a high chance he may cancel on the day because he is self employed. I cancelled for him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 03 October 2016, 02:58:14 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 02 October 2016, 11:17:04 pm
Apparently a girl gave this guy my number when he hit on her!

Hi there are you ok

What time do you finish work

(I told him I work till 11 and that it was too late to arrange a booking for tonight - which apparently didn't phase him thinking I was this other girl)

So if I pick you up at 11

Do you want me to go to McDonald's on the way  (she had a lucky dodge there!)

What do you want ?

Me: I think you have the wrong number

Samantha lol

Me: No I'm not Samantha

Stop messing do you want me to pick you up or not

Fine get the bus then

Me: I don't know you and you have the wrong number. stop texting me

Last night in that bar I fell in love with you and you asked me to come and pick you up when you finish tonight do you want me to or not

Me: Sorry dude but she gave you a fake number

Really
That's hilarious, and yes lucky escape with the McDonald's
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 03 October 2016, 03:00:35 pm
Guy called me, said he'd been looking at my profile for a couple of days. Said he wanted to come and see me today. "OK, when would you like to come and for how long?" "Where are you from? You have a weird accent."

I just hung up and blocked.

My nationality is very, very prominent on all my advertising.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 03 October 2016, 04:48:22 pm
Guy makes booking for 5.30, gets told to confirm at 5pm.
Then ask what I mean by confirm at 5pm...so I explain clearly he needs to call at 5pm to confirm he wants to go ahead with the booking still. Immediately texts saying yes I'd love to book with you for 5.30. Then tries calling 30 minutes before confirmation time which I miss so  that's followed with a text asking if I am on x road and he's confirming.

How difficult is "5pm" to understand?

Edit- And then texts at 5pm saying he's here. I don't know how some people function at times.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 03 October 2016, 05:53:30 pm
Via text:Hi my name is C*** and I'm 49 and married.I'm looking for a long term escort.Someone who will be my lover and call me her darling and sweetheart...blah blah'
Feck off with your shite Mills and Boon crap we all know you are angling for either a freebie or bareback or both..assclown! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 03 October 2016, 05:59:25 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 03 October 2016, 05:53:30 pm
Via text:Hi my name is C*** and I'm 49 and married.I'm looking for a long term escort.Someone who will be my lover and call me her darling and sweetheart...blah blah'
Feck off with your shite Mills and Boon crap we all know you are angling for either a freebie or bareback or both..assclown! :FF
Anyone that mentions long term regular bookings are bullshitters in my opinion. Come to 1 fucking booking and go from there! I think it's quite sweet when they ask if it's ok that they're married.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 03 October 2016, 10:39:20 pm
Ignorant twat texts at 9.45pm:

Him: Gd evening looking to book an appointment x"

Me: Where did you get my number?"

Him: "Adult works"

Me: "Well you would have seen my availability then?"

Him "No reply"

Do these type of ignorant assholes think that we take time to write out availability for a fucking laugh  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 04 October 2016, 06:47:51 am
Received a couple of emails last night the final being:

Good evening xxx

 Thank you for your reply, I'm absolutely delighted to have aroused your interest and apologise wholeheartedly for my earlier transgression :) he addressed me by the wrong name  ::)

 On the evening of our meet, I would like us to begin at 7pm and the session would be an overnight, or if you are unable to attend an overnight, then 4 hours minimum, but the start time can be amended depending on your availability.

 The area we would meet for our session is in the xxxx area of West London, postcode W4. The xxxx Hotel, formerly known as the xxx hotel, is a place I frequently use for such rendezvous'.

 The type of session I am looking for is specialised and specific, therefore I would be most grateful if you could give me a call on 07xxxxxx when it is convenient for you to do so.

 Thanks in advance

1. I'm not in the London but on the South Coast.
2. My profile makes it clear I only do O/Ns after an initial shorter booking AND 2 hour outcalls only for new clients.
3. He asks for a specialised and specific session but cannot tell me in brief what that consists of, so something I don't actually offer then the I'm guessing..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 04 October 2016, 10:20:31 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 03 October 2016, 05:53:30 pm
Via text:Hi my name is C*** and I'm 49 and married.I'm looking for a long term escort.Someone who will be my lover and call me her darling and sweetheart...blah blah'
Feck off with your shite Mills and Boon crap we all know you are angling for either a freebie or bareback or both..assclown! :FF


Just remembered this one!! He books well in advance and then tries to bombard with text messages over the next few weeks with all this romantic shite then when he gets ignored he cancels the day before, he's tried it with me twice with different numbers.  I think he's got some sort of emotional/mental disorder or he could be just a twat.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 04 October 2016, 03:49:53 pm
Most bizarre phone call just now.

Me: Hello how can I help?

Moron: Hello I looking for job

Me:  What do you mean why are you phoning me looking for a job?

Moron: I don't know I see your pictures and I looking for job.

Me:  Why on earth are you phoning me? I don't employ anyone  and I don't work for anyone. I suggest you don't phone any other escorts like this!

<<< I terminate the call.  The mind boggles  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 04 October 2016, 05:03:53 pm
"Hi you do bj no condom cum in mouth"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 04 October 2016, 09:27:57 pm
Quote from: Lolapops on 04 October 2016, 05:03:53 pm
"Hi you do bj no condom cum in mouth"

Ask him if that is a question or a statement. If it is a question, then he needs to use a question mark.
Show him a '?' question mark in case he's not used one before.

 :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 04 October 2016, 09:38:56 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 04 October 2016, 09:27:57 pm
Ask him if that is a question or a statement. If it is a question, then he needs to use a question mark.
Show him a '?' question mark in case he's not used one before.

 :D

I didn't even bother replying. If he won't make the effort, either will I.  ;) x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 04 October 2016, 09:48:05 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 04 October 2016, 09:27:57 pm
Ask him if that is a question or a statement. If it is a question, then he needs to use a question mark.
Show him a '?' question mark in case he's not used one before.

 :D

Hahahahaha LOL
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: francheska_xx on 04 October 2016, 10:19:43 pm
Quote from: Sexymilf on 16 September 2016, 09:13:52 am
I had a TW asking if he could bring his toy cars and could i crush them for him???

Some issues going on there i think
i have had exactly the same guy before message me the same thing! xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 04 October 2016, 10:46:43 pm
Quote from: katrina on 04 October 2016, 10:20:31 am

Just remembered this one!! He books well in advance and then tries to bombard with text messages over the next few weeks with all this romantic shite then when he gets ignored he cancels the day before, he's tried it with me twice with different numbers.  I think he's got some sort of emotional/mental disorder or he could be just a twat.  ::)
Well he got no answer off of me..I can't be doing with that kind of guff!Bleurgh!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 05 October 2016, 10:53:17 am
Just got a guy wanting to book for tonight in his hotel room, he wants me to wear my schoolgirl outfit and also to come to his door wearing it, this is maybe the second or third time somebody has asked me to come to the door in the costume they want drawing lots of attention to myself and the room he's staying in which I'm sure will go well for both  of us.

It amazes me that you even need to explain this stuff sometimes, I explain that I'll arrive in my casual clothes and get changed in the room and he's just like "Oh okay" sounding really disappointed like I'm doing it to ruin things for him, he eventually agreed to everything but really did sound like I was being unreasonable I guess I'm sorry for not wanting to get him kicked out his room.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 05 October 2016, 12:12:17 pm
Some of them are living in lala land.I don't know of many if any women that would parade around a hotel in a schoolgirl costume or similar for any money.
I used to have a client who used to try and persuade me to come to his hotel in a miniskirt and flimsy white blouse with no bra.I'm sure some just get off on the humiliation/exhibitionism aspect of it and being kicked out of the hotel doesn't even register with them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 05 October 2016, 04:28:45 pm
Had a no show, then an hour and a half later he texts 'Hi got drunk x'.

In the middle of the afternoon on a Wednesday  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 05 October 2016, 04:35:30 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 05 October 2016, 04:28:45 pm
Had a no show, then an hour and a half later he texts 'Hi got drunk x'.

In the middle of the afternoon on a Wednesday  :FF

Do they get benefits today?  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 05 October 2016, 05:31:39 pm
Just received this email:

Can i say how sexy you are......you dress to look sexy and make a man lust after you.......really made me horny looking at your sexy pics and your legs in heels.......oh yes please.
wud luv to meet you for a little fun someday soon
luv n hugs
s xxx
 
Has a recent neg for a No Show and a cock pic on his profile  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 05 October 2016, 06:11:00 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 05 October 2016, 10:53:17 am
Just got a guy wanting to book for tonight in his hotel room, he wants me to wear my schoolgirl outfit and also to come to his door wearing it, this is maybe the second or third time somebody has asked me to come to the door in the costume they want drawing lots of attention to myself and the room he's staying in which I'm sure will go well for both  of us.

It amazes me that you even need to explain this stuff sometimes, I explain that I'll arrive in my casual clothes and get changed in the room and he's just like "Oh okay" sounding really disappointed like I'm doing it to ruin things for him, he eventually agreed to everything but really did sound like I was being unreasonable I guess I'm sorry for not wanting to get him kicked out his room.
Or he just wants to get a look at you through the peep hole...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 05 October 2016, 06:19:21 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 05 October 2016, 06:11:00 pm
Or he just wants to get a look at you through the peep hole...

Well, he wouldn't open the door so it's not his problem, is it?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luciexx on 05 October 2016, 06:48:23 pm
I really hate it when punters expect a series of the email exchange, then book and cancel.  I also hate it when they ask for times when they KNOW that the escorts they are interested in seeing are unavailable.  Basically, some ape that thinks their planet is the earth.  Thankfully, most are nice and lovely.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LaraKae on 05 October 2016, 06:58:00 pm
" let me know if you are available and I will come over and it will be fun and sexy ;-) x "

Maybe for you..

And my personal favourite recent message

" would you be up for letting me fuck you in my garden for 30 mins while my gfs inside my house unaware ? "

umm NO! my 'not available' reply was followed by...

" youd be up for that though? would be hot sneaking out and fucking you hard outside mine "

no thank don't fancy being chased up the road in my fucking pants by the scorned woman, ta!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Irishminx on 05 October 2016, 07:48:34 pm
"Sex 50e tonight 15 minutes"  :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 05 October 2016, 08:49:30 pm
Quote from: Irisherin27 on 05 October 2016, 07:48:34 pm
"Sex 50e tonight 15 minutes"  :FF :FF

My personal favourite ;) no thanks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 05 October 2016, 10:09:01 pm
Email received today :

Hello

I was wondering if you might like a change of scenery and have one of our lovely self-catering cottages to yourself for a few days? You could work from here eaily and it is very discreet, because it's a countryside location.

All I would ask for is your company in my marital bed after you finish and maybe we could also go for meals and drinks in the daytimes or even in the evening? I hope you like the idea.

The area is lovely and I'm sure the fresh countryside and sea air will do you good!

I would love having you around for a few days. Let me know darling.




Looks like I'm off on holiday soon :-)
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 05 October 2016, 10:28:21 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 05 October 2016, 10:09:01 pm
The area is lovely and I'm sure the fresh countryside and sea air will do you good!

Not as much as the satisfaction of punching you in the dick.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 06 October 2016, 12:50:57 am
Would that be after you come home from your island retreat in Hawaii?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LovePod on 06 October 2016, 08:44:41 am
Email on AW

Subject: What can you offer

Hello babe would you do an hour meet on Friday for 40? Sorry for the low offer but it's over an hours drive. Or what could you offer?

So is he saying I have to pay for his petrol to get the pleasure of servicing him for an hour?   ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bbwjaanna on 06 October 2016, 10:03:05 pm
If somebody would understand what this client wanted from me, let me know please.. maybe it is just my bad english that i did not understand a word :D :D

He texted :
Do you do deep rimming too ?

I still had no time to answer and got another message from him

He :  Is the rusty trumbone included ?

Me : whaaat ???

He :  Rusty trumbone is same as tossing the salad , you know put a bit dressing on it and toss it.

I did not answer anything anymore.. it was just the feeling like "what the hell he is talking about"

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 06 October 2016, 10:17:13 pm
He is asking if you will lick his arsehole basically and he sounds like an idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 06 October 2016, 10:18:30 pm
Quote from: bbwjaanna on 06 October 2016, 10:03:05 pm
If somebody would understand what this client wanted from me, let me know please.. maybe it is just my bad english that i did not understand a word :D :D

He texted :
Do you do deep rimming too ?

I still had no time to answer and got another message from him

He :  Is the rusty trumbone included ?

Me : whaaat ???

He :  Rusty trumbone is same as tossing the salad , you know put a bit dressing on it and toss it.

I did not answer anything anymore.. it was just the feeling like "what the hell he is talking about"

A rusty trombone is when you rim and give him a handjob at the same time...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bbwjaanna on 07 October 2016, 12:01:17 am
thank you for explaining.. i never heard anything like this before :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 07 October 2016, 12:07:42 am
I'd say even alot of sex workers with English as a first language wouldn't know what he was on about.Just some wanker being silly or trying to confuse you,he was probably using such slang hoping someone would text and ask what he meant so he could get off texting about it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 07 October 2016, 04:34:12 pm
Quote from: Kay on 06 October 2016, 10:18:30 pm
A rusty trombone is when you rim and give him a handjob at the same time...

Yuck so tossing the salad is handjob with rimming? I'm trying to see the link to the salad here.
Suddenly I lost my appetite..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 07 October 2016, 04:39:35 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 03 October 2016, 03:00:35 pm
Guy called me, said he'd been looking at my profile for a couple of days. Said he wanted to come and see me today. "OK, when would you like to come and for how long?" "Where are you from? You have a weird accent."

I just hung up and blocked.

My nationality is very, very prominent on all my advertising.

Well a moron called me yesterday thinking I'm Japanese. Once I've nicely reminded him Im French he said "I love your country! I'm learning Spanish, just bought a house there!"
Really????
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 07 October 2016, 04:43:27 pm
Quote from: francheska_xx on 04 October 2016, 10:19:43 pm
i have had exactly the same guy before message me the same thing! xxx

Oh must be pink balloons guy! Used to email and ask if we would jump on the bed with pink cushions and crush balloons with our feet ...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 07 October 2016, 04:47:50 pm
Tossing the salad means handjob.Rusty trombone refers to his arsehole so wanking him while licking his arse.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 07 October 2016, 04:53:27 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 07 October 2016, 04:47:50 pm
Tossing the salad means handjob.Rusty trombone refers to his arsehole so wanking him while licking his arse.

Thank you Bibi. One lives and learns  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 07 October 2016, 04:54:59 pm
Noooo tossing salad means licking a guy's arse, surely?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 07 October 2016, 04:57:48 pm
Could you ladies just agree? ;D ;D ;D
I'm a big salad tosser myself so I'd rather know where I stand next time I pour my sauce over it  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 07 October 2016, 07:29:02 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 07 October 2016, 04:57:48 pm
Could you ladies just agree? ;D ;D ;D
I'm a big salad tosser myself so I'd rather know where I stand next time I pour my sauce over it  ???

Bahahaha. After reading this today I'm right off my salads for a while!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 07 October 2016, 08:20:32 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 07 October 2016, 04:39:35 pm
Well a moron called me yesterday thinking I'm Japanese. Once I've nicely reminded him Im French he said "I love your country! I'm learning Spanish, just bought a house there!"
Really????

A guy booked me on the phone, arrived, nice enough... he asked me where I am from, I told him to guess... He said "you sounded Irish on the phone". I'm Russian.   ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 07 October 2016, 08:25:36 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 07 October 2016, 04:54:59 pm
Noooo tossing salad means licking a guy's arse, surely?
Well this just goes to show he really was out to confuse!What's wrong with just saying 'Can you lick my butt/wank me off or potentially both?' Lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 07 October 2016, 09:09:07 pm
Quote
Hi sweetheart was wondering if you would do an outcall the night. am a lorry driver with a sleeper cab on it parked at XXX

eh? 
i don't think so "sweetheart"

think i'm gonna rock up to a main road in my sussies and bonk in a lorry?  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 07 October 2016, 09:16:08 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 07 October 2016, 09:09:07 pm
eh? 
i don't think so "sweetheart"

think i'm gonna rock up to a main road in my sussies and bonk in a lorry?  :FF

God yeah, all his mates would be in their lorries watching! Arrrrggghhh!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bristoljen on 07 October 2016, 10:58:41 pm
bareback ?50 15mins?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 07 October 2016, 11:49:37 pm
Quote from: bristoljen on 07 October 2016, 10:58:41 pm
bareback ?50 15mins?


A while ago a client came for a 15 minute booking and just casually said as if it was nothing "Can I put it in (without!!) I was thinking for fuck sake at least book an hour or more and then ask (but even then he wouldn't get!)


 There are some proper cheeky cunts around  :FF ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 08 October 2016, 12:08:43 am
forgot to switch my phone off and had just started drifting off when it rings.  don't even know why i answered as it came fro a withheld number!


hello
*incoherent mumbles*

hello?
*more incoherent nonsense*

hellooo??
awright, ma mate gave me yir number


hung up

so, ringing from a a witheld number, pished and he got my number from a mate?  is that the sound of my knicker elastic snapping in anticipation?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 08 October 2016, 02:35:33 pm
A first timer booked for this morning for 1030 am.

I asked him to text upon arrival in the neighbouring road.  He took no heed and at ten am, so that is half an hour too early, he emails me to say he has arrived and is waiting.

I email him (since he did not give me his mobile number despite being asked to do so when the meet was arranged) to say please wait ten more mins.  I read the email about 1010 am as I am not permanently glued to my desk.

No answer.  I email again in 5 mins to say please wait 5 more mins.  No answer.

Then I email him a third time to give the address to walk up to since I am ready for him.

He did not reply a third time.

Then 11.15 am he emails to say he could not hang about and could he see me Monday.  That I should be more flexible and that I am the one providing the service so I should work around him.

FFS!

He further sends me an email to say he will text me Monday at 11 am about meeting at 12 noon.  How does he know I am going to be free?  Also how does he know I will agree to this?

The only problem now is he knows my address so could just arrive at the door and start banging on the front door for all to hear.

Anyway I will just ignore him.

As it happens I have a 1 hour booking already planned at 1030 am Monday.

I will ignore the door if I hear it ring.

I haven't had anybody lurk outside my home before but there is always a first time so I am now on my guard.

What a pratt!  He hasn't even seen escorts before so has no idea how we work.

For all he knew I could be seeing another client until 10 am and need half hour in between bookings.

This guy has really riled me up.  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 08 October 2016, 03:14:48 pm
I wouldn't agree a booking with someone who wouldn't give me a mobile number: too much risk of fannying about!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 08 October 2016, 03:44:14 pm
Yes Kay I think from now on I won't give them my parking particulars until they have given me their mobile number.  No shows often do not provide their mobile from the outset do they.

At least he did show up but his attitude is terrible.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 08 October 2016, 03:55:38 pm
Quote from: MinxyMarianne on 07 October 2016, 07:29:02 pm
Bahahaha. After reading this today I'm right off my salads for a while!

I had pork yesterday. Kind of felt to the topic :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 08 October 2016, 04:44:42 pm
Quote from: Lushblossom on 08 October 2016, 03:44:14 pm
Yes Kay I think from now on I won't give them my parking particulars until they have given me their mobile number.  No shows often do not provide their mobile from the outset do they.

At least he did show up but his attitude is terrible.

Sounds very arrogant. I think you had a lucky escape there.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 08 October 2016, 04:49:29 pm
Quote from: Lushblossom on 08 October 2016, 02:35:33 pm
A first timer booked for this morning for 1030 am.

I asked him to text upon arrival in the neighbouring road.  He took no heed and at ten am, so that is half an hour too early, he emails me to say he has arrived and is waiting.

I email him (since he did not give me his mobile number despite being asked to do so when the meet was arranged) to say please wait ten more mins.  I read the email about 1010 am as I am not permanently glued to my desk.

No answer.  I email again in 5 mins to say please wait 5 more mins.  No answer.

Then I email him a third time to give the address to walk up to since I am ready for him.

He did not reply a third time.

Then 11.15 am he emails to say he could not hang about and could he see me Monday.  That I should be more flexible and that I am the one providing the service so I should work around him.

FFS!

He further sends me an email to say he will text me Monday at 11 am about meeting at 12 noon.  How does he know I am going to be free?  Also how does he know I will agree to this?

The only problem now is he knows my address so could just arrive at the door and start banging on the front door for all to hear.

Anyway I will just ignore him.

As it happens I have a 1 hour booking already planned at 1030 am Monday.

I will ignore the door if I hear it ring.

I haven't had anybody lurk outside my home before but there is always a first time so I am now on my guard.

What a pratt!  He hasn't even seen escorts before so has no idea how we work.

For all he knew I could be seeing another client until 10 am and need half hour in between bookings.

This guy has really riled me up.  >:(

Guys who don't provide their mobile number don't intend to show up. It's just a wind up, if not worse, he wants to have a look for free.... Also, "I've never seen an escort before" is bullshit.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 08 October 2016, 05:05:47 pm
Him in a drunken blurred voice : fancy a threesome in a penthouse ?

Me: wow! Sex with 2 people at once? In a penthouse???? I'll do it for free!

He hang up and then texted me "ok, fair enough"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 08 October 2016, 05:11:53 pm
This via email late last night:

Hiya just seen your profile on aw what's the latest you would do an hour in call next wed or Thursday night. R x

He included not one but SIX photos of himself, including one with a mate  ??? and a topless one.

I think he's doing a mass spamming exercise......
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 08 October 2016, 05:43:47 pm
Quote from: LadyOfTheNight on 08 October 2016, 05:11:53 pm
This via email late last night:

Hiya just seen your profile on aw what's the latest you would do an hour in call next wed or Thursday night. R x

He included not one but SIX photos of himself, including one with a mate  ??? and a topless one.

I think he's doing a mass spamming exercise......

Aren't you feeling lucky today!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 08 October 2016, 06:32:56 pm
Random txt "you want ? xxx"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 08 October 2016, 06:56:55 pm
Received a text

Hi Helen I'm a 23 year old mixed race guy from XXXX (the small estate where I live) and I have noticed you on XXXX Drive bicycle track (where I walk my dogs) and was hesitant to approach you as I am only into mature women. I recently spotted you on line and with a lot of unluck on by behalf learnt that you are not into younger or non white men but still felt the need to ask as after seeing you not knowing anything about you I really wanted to talk to you hope I don't come across as strange.

OMFG...This is when I've been walking my dogs, with my hair scraped back, my old leggings and flat shows and an old black fleece jacket, not a pretty sight at all. Been racking my brains to think back if I remember who this guy is. He sounds polite etc but I'm not replying to his text.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 08 October 2016, 08:04:41 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 08 October 2016, 06:56:55 pm
Received a text

Hi Helen I'm a 23 year old mixed race guy from XXXX (the small estate where I live) and I have noticed you on XXXX Drive bicycle track (where I walk my dogs) and was hesitant to approach you as I am only into mature women. I recently spotted you on line and with a lot of unluck on by behalf learnt that you are not into younger or non white men but still felt the need to ask as after seeing you not knowing anything about you I really wanted to talk to you hope I don't come across as strange.

OMFG...This is when I've been walking my dogs, with my hair scraped back, my old leggings and flat shows and an old black fleece jacket, not a pretty sight at all. Been racking my brains to think back if I remember who this guy is. He sounds polite etc but I'm not replying to his text.

I hate when they do that. It's not stalkish / off-putting at all  ;D a man was staring at me in the supermarket, then a few hours later txt "I saw you in XXX at 2pm can we meet?" ffs
That's why I stopped showing my face.
Tbh I'm quite puzzled how they recognised my face without all of my make-up  ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 08 October 2016, 10:44:14 pm
"Any slots free today"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 09 October 2016, 06:47:35 am
Well ladies it has gone from bad to worse now with that client who was due to meet me yesterday.  He has now emailed saying he bets the neighbours would love to know what I do for a job.  It sounds like he wants to go and tell them....

I very much doubt he will though.  It can only be hot air as he feels rejected.  Hopefully he lives far enough away to not make it easy for him to do this.  Given he hasn't even so much as met an escort in his life this reaction is really unusual.  It isn't as if plenty of escorts have refused to meet him and he now hates us all.

Oddly enough I am pretty sure that my immediate neighbours on both sides and the house opposite all know what I do plus the local corner shop staff.  Nobody says anything it is just an impression from reading between the lines.  I only see max 2 clients a day and always think of the neighbours and try to keep the noise down as much as possible.

If this guy thinks he can bully me into seeing him from his insinuating he will disclose to my neighbours then he can think again.

What a horrid person....

I must say I have never had this before.  Hopefully it will all blow over soon.

Since using protonmail email account it is now impossible to block people who I do not wish to see or hear from.  I put them in spam but this means I then end up reading their emails and getting upset/bothered by them somewhat.  Hey ho.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 09 October 2016, 08:32:42 am
Ugh, what a total dick. You are completely ignoring him if I read correctly, which is absolutely the right thing to do. He will get bored with no response.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 09 October 2016, 08:55:23 am
Quote from: Lushblossom on 09 October 2016, 06:47:35 am
Since using protonmail email account it is now impossible to block people who I do not wish to see or hear from.  I put them in spam but this means I then end up reading their emails and getting upset/bothered by them somewhat.  Hey ho.

Hmm I wanted to move to Proton for security reasons but I really need an email provider that blocks, since my current one Gmail doesn't either.  I find the best thing if someone is sending me arsey messages is to just force myself not to look, then the longer you don't look the easier it gets not to look, if that makes sense.  By the time you do look therefore the messages won't bother you so much.  Ok so I don't always manage to stick to this, but I try to!

However by his behaviour this guy isn't coming accross as a first timer to me, he could've spun you a line.  If you find it continues ad infinitum and borders on harassment, might be worth a warning.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 09 October 2016, 12:49:06 pm
Quote from: Lushblossom on 09 October 2016, 06:47:35 am
Well ladies it has gone from bad to worse now with that client who was due to meet me yesterday.  He has now emailed saying he bets the neighbours would love to know what I do for a job.  It sounds like he wants to go and tell them....

I very much doubt he will though.  It can only be hot air as he feels rejected.  Hopefully he lives far enough away to not make it easy for him to do this.  Given he hasn't even so much as met an escort in his life this reaction is really unusual.  It isn't as if plenty of escorts have refused to meet him and he now hates us all.

Oddly enough I am pretty sure that my immediate neighbours on both sides and the house opposite all know what I do plus the local corner shop staff.  Nobody says anything it is just an impression from reading between the lines.  I only see max 2 clients a day and always think of the neighbours and try to keep the noise down as much as possible.

If this guy thinks he can bully me into seeing him from his insinuating he will disclose to my neighbours then he can think again.

What a horrid person....

I must say I have never had this before.  Hopefully it will all blow over soon.

Since using protonmail email account it is now impossible to block people who I do not wish to see or hear from.  I put them in spam but this means I then end up reading their emails and getting upset/bothered by them somewhat.  Hey ho.

He doesn't sound like a first timer to me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 09 October 2016, 12:59:50 pm
Quote from: strawberryjam on 08 October 2016, 08:04:41 pm
I hate when they do that. It's not stalkish / off-putting at all  ;D a man was staring at me in the supermarket, then a few hours later txt "I saw you in XXX at 2pm can we meet?" ffs
That's why I stopped showing my face.
Tbh I'm quite puzzled how they recognised my face without all of my make-up  ;D ;D

A few months ago when I was still in London I had that really shitty day. So I go to the nearby (huge) Tesco for some comfort food, my "camouflage" clothes on. And I know literally all staff at that Tesco. Suddenly I hear really loud " hi darling, how are you, can I book you for 5 o'clock?"
I couldn't even remember him so I couldn't block him on my phone...
What is wrong with some of them ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 09 October 2016, 01:08:13 pm
Thanks for the support ladies.

Perhaps I should just not read the ones that arrive in my spam once I put them in there.  I can always delete them regularly too unread can't I.

Yes possibly he isn't a first timer.  If it persists I will do a warning.  I don't know his mobile number though.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 09 October 2016, 01:15:36 pm
Quote from: LadyOfTheNight on 09 October 2016, 08:55:23 am
Hmm I wanted to move to Proton for security reasons but I really need an email provider that blocks, since my current one Gmail doesn't either. 

Just wanted to note that Gmail will block email addresses, it's just a bit complex to do so. Post in the IT section if you want and I'll walk you through it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 09 October 2016, 02:26:44 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 09 October 2016, 01:15:36 pm
Just wanted to note that Gmail will block email addresses, it's just a bit complex to do so. Post in the IT section if you want and I'll walk you through it.

Oh thanks! I've been told a number of times it wasn't possible  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 09 October 2016, 06:49:37 pm
Oh it is. I filter emails straight into my trash all the time.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luciexx on 09 October 2016, 08:26:19 pm
Quote from: katrina on 08 October 2016, 10:44:14 pm
"Any slots free today"

I hate that, too. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luciexx on 09 October 2016, 08:31:22 pm
Quote from: Lushblossom on 09 October 2016, 01:08:13 pm
Thanks for the support ladies.

Perhaps I should just not read the ones that arrive in my spam once I put them in there.  I can always delete them regularly too unread can't I.

Yes possibly he isn't a first timer.  If it persists I will do a warning.  I don't know his mobile number though.

You mean he contacted you via email and started harassing you?  It's a warning matter in my book.  A very sick man. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 10 October 2016, 06:06:35 am
Yes Lucie he harrassed me after I could not jump and be ready half an hour earlier than planned.

I think I will put up a warning.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Teddy Bear on 10 October 2016, 06:35:17 am
A known blowout... I keep a note of them on my phone and I don't give second chances.

He rings asking for a booking so I inform him I know his game and tell him to piss off, he immediately becomes fake contrite and tells me he fell asleep last time. A likely story.

Anyway I decide to mindfuck him and 'take his booking' by entering his details straight into my blowout spreadsheet and get on with my night. I wait about 45 minutes and attempt to call him, phone switched off, gut instinct correct.

He texts a couple of hours later with a load of laughing emojis telling me I'm an idiot for falling for it twice, I text back I never changed out of my PJ's or left my house but I have happily made a note of his new timewaster address.

It's been 4 hours and his abusive texts are still filling up my call blocker complaining I've ruined his fantasy because I didn't actually turn up and waste my time. Deranged moron.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 10 October 2016, 09:18:32 am
Quote from: strawberryjam on 08 October 2016, 08:04:41 pm
I hate when they do that. It's not stalkish / off-putting at all  ;D a man was staring at me in the supermarket, then a few hours later txt "I saw you in XXX at 2pm can we meet?" ffs
That's why I stopped showing my face.
Tbh I'm quite puzzled how they recognised my face without all of my make-up  ;D ;D
Probably spend hours studying our photographs!!! I've had it a couple of times. There really is no need for them to be telling us they've seen us out and about though. Yes, we're people we go to shops, walk our dogs, catch buses and all the other usual stuff!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 10 October 2016, 09:27:21 am

Hi

I'm in the area this week and want to make a booking, I love anal play...lots of mutual smelling,licking,fingering and fucking are you into this?

Please let me know.



Jeez. Mutual smelling. :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ladyinred on 10 October 2016, 12:36:38 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 10 October 2016, 09:27:21 am

Hi

I'm in the area this week and want to make a booking, I love anal play...lots of mutual smelling,licking,fingering and fucking are you into this?

Please let me know.


Jeez. Mutual smelling. :-X

What an offer  ;D :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 11 October 2016, 03:11:09 am
Quote
Hi
I've been trying to book you for ages. All I want to do is masterbate against your arsehole and maybe come inside a little



 :FF  :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 11 October 2016, 09:38:14 am
What a charming proposition Littleminx!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 11 October 2016, 01:33:57 pm
Text this morning.
'Been trying to call all night!'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 11 October 2016, 01:38:43 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 11 October 2016, 01:33:57 pm
Text this morning.
'Been trying to call all night!'

 :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 12 October 2016, 12:27:56 pm
Email correspondence just now, usually I'd ignore but dead bored:

Him: Hi are you available in X today?

Me: Hi can you get back with a time, duration and appropriate notice as per my profile?

Him:I'm rather flexible on what time,

Essentially I am a gay man who has never slept with a woman before and I wish to try it. I see you do spanking and strap on service so maybe that first then I could penetrate you (protected of course) or do you think a girl friend experience would be better?

How about 1 hour?

Me: You clearly haven't even read the strap line, let alone page 1 or the rest of my profile, as to what I'm currently offering and why.

So therefore that's a no from me.


Currently all over my profile including the strap line that I'm only offering GFE, and why. That's even without all the other BS (IMO) he came up with  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 12 October 2016, 12:35:01 pm
I got an email from someone saying "I see you love threesomes... so do I?!"

Where on Earth did he see that?  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 12 October 2016, 07:27:47 pm
Good evening dear thing, I would like to make love with you, are you free for a date?

Dear thing! Sounds like that bloke from carry on films.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissDee on 12 October 2016, 07:44:50 pm
I just got this text -

Could you dress me up in swimming armbands and A swim ring and make cuts to my penis

What the hell kind of fantasy is that LOL  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 12 October 2016, 08:36:28 pm
Have you never heard of a Swimmerfloaterscissor fetish before?

  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissDee on 12 October 2016, 09:47:37 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 12 October 2016, 08:36:28 pm
Have you never heard of a Swimmerfloaterscissor fetish before?

  :o

No never! This is an actual thing? Your joking? Hahaa
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 12 October 2016, 11:16:59 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 12 October 2016, 08:36:28 pm
Have you never heard of a Swimmerfloaterscissor fetish before?

  :o
Pooh I thought everyone had heard of that ! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 13 October 2016, 02:22:26 am
Quote from: Guiltypleasure on 12 October 2016, 11:16:59 pm
Pooh I thought everyone had heard of that ! X

I haven't. I saw Jaws when I was younger, does it count?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 13 October 2016, 02:26:21 am
Last evening by text.

Him: hey! Are you free tonight? There's 3 of us.

Me: Hey! It's called Multiple Personality Disorder.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 13 October 2016, 09:58:10 pm
Just received this gem via text.

Quote
ad rlylove to bang you.  Am 25

Moist at the thought for sure
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Paprika82 on 14 October 2016, 10:55:05 am
"I'd like to eat muesli off your naked body."

...ok then.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 14 October 2016, 01:21:29 pm
Quote from: Paprika82 on 14 October 2016, 10:55:05 am
"I'd like to eat muesli off your naked body."

...ok then.  ::)
Hi fibre client lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 14 October 2016, 11:02:08 pm
is it a full moon?

latest one i need a translation on is...

Quote
can i address and do domenition
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cherryfcuk on 15 October 2016, 02:35:37 am
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 14 October 2016, 11:02:08 pm
is it a full moon?

latest one i need a translation on is...

It is full moon v soon, watch out

- Caller - are you busty?
me - darling have you seen my pics?
- caller - i had a quick look at work.
me - unless im smuggling those puppies in my arm pits i highly doubt it.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 15 October 2016, 03:18:29 am
Mail received yesterday :-)




Hey there,

Love your photos and profile!

Me and my lovely girlfriend sit here typing, new to this site, with hopefully an interesting request for you :-)

We both share a foot fetish and love for women's feet, specifically we both get turned on by the smell. The smell of a woman's foot when they are sweaty and tired after a long day bare feet in shoes.....

Have just returned from holiday where we went to a strip club and had an incredible foot smelling encounter with a gorgeous and open minded stripper. 1 hour of foot smelling (both ladies smelling each others feet and shoes) along with sexy dancing and flirting....

Now we want to take it to the next level and meet up with a sexy (open minded) girl who would indulge in our foot smelling play but also be happy with intercourse along with the sexy foot play?

So I ask you would this be something you would consider? Are you able to get smelly feet and do you have shoes that are well worn and smelly? Would you be comfortable smelling Sarah's feet? We just want to make sure so we are not wasting anyone's time

We are an attractive couple in our early thirties :-)

Hope to hear from you soon

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: dser366 on 15 October 2016, 04:07:41 am
This must be a joke right!!



Dear Dani
I hope this find you well.
My name is Fraser.
I recently started out as an escort.
I came across your AW ad. I would like to take this further by inviting you To Try my services free of charge.
And if you enjoyed my company I would be grateful if you left feedback for me.
My Best Regards,
Fraser
AW:
07******
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 15 October 2016, 09:42:13 am
Whenever I get an essay like this I immediately start yawning.

Quote
Hello, I would like to see you on xx during your xx tour Incall. I have been looking around in AW and when I saw your profile I got really excited. Especially after reading about you having sex with your manager in the balcony. :) - the thing that turns me on the most about you are your hips and legs - amazing and that is followed by your lips and mouth.

I'm a very sensual guy soft to the touch I love to softly kiss and feel.

Everyone has a Fantasy right now I have 2.

The First - The Reality fantasy - would be to see you on the 26th.

The Second - The dream fantasy - It's kind of strange I hope it doesn't put you off but I have a thing for curvy - thick big mature women and pregnant women  obviously I wouldn't desire any woman within those categories. But some who have that look about them drive me crazy (in a good way).

So getting to the point - I'm imagining you heavily pregnant with a huge bump. With your already amazing body - becoming even more curvy and busty with your amazing legs and feet swollen with red nail polish.  You would be wearing a grey maxi dress and flip flops - laying on the bed with those amazing thick legs wide open wet pussy huge belly boobs and have the tip of my hard cock teasing you as i stroke it around your body .

Sorry for that would love to meet you - regardless of knowing that my ultimate fantasy is a dream.

Do you have a ultimate dream fantasy - have you ever been pregnant? Are you going to in the future?

Would love to hear back from you
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 15 October 2016, 09:47:08 am
Quote from: MissBehaving on 15 October 2016, 03:18:29 am
Mail received yesterday :-)




Hey there,

Love your photos and profile!

Me and my lovely girlfriend sit here typing, new to this site, with hopefully an interesting request for you :-)

We both share a foot fetish and love for women's feet, specifically we both get turned on by the smell. The smell of a woman's foot when they are sweaty and tired after a long day bare feet in shoes.....

Have just returned from holiday where we went to a strip club and had an incredible foot smelling encounter with a gorgeous and open minded stripper. 1 hour of foot smelling (both ladies smelling each others feet and shoes) along with sexy dancing and flirting....

Now we want to take it to the next level and meet up with a sexy (open minded) girl who would indulge in our foot smelling play but also be happy with intercourse along with the sexy foot play?

So I ask you would this be something you would consider? Are you able to get smelly feet and do you have shoes that are well worn and smelly? Would you be comfortable smelling Sarah's feet? We just want to make sure so we are not wasting anyone's time

We are an attractive couple in our early thirties :-)

Hope to hear from you soon

Sounds ok to me , I've got some smelly loafers lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 15 October 2016, 11:30:38 am
Quote from: dser366 on 15 October 2016, 04:07:41 am
This must be a joke right!!


Tempting to reply with 'Sure I'd be happy to try your service for free,my rate for putting you through your paces will be (insert hourly rate)'
Dear Dani
I hope this find you well.
My name is Fraser.
I recently started out as an escort.
I came across your AW ad. I would like to take this further by inviting you To Try my services free of charge.
And if you enjoyed my company I would be grateful if you left feedback for me.
My Best Regards,
Fraser
AW:
07******
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 15 October 2016, 12:27:08 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 15 October 2016, 11:30:38 am

Ha ha think I've had this one , had another saying how much if I sit in the corner and wank !
I said same price as usual
Him " but we're not having sex"
Me " loads of guys just wank or don't have sex at all it's still the same , some book two hours without sex it's still  ?*** quid "
He seemed totally shocked , unless he wanted to sit in the corner and wank while I got ready for someone else and paid discount.
Think I could sell this idea Lmfao !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 15 October 2016, 01:37:04 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 15 October 2016, 11:30:38 am


 haha! He must think we're stupid!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 15 October 2016, 04:00:59 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 15 October 2016, 03:18:29 am
Mail received yesterday :-)




Hey there,

Love your photos and profile!

Me and my lovely girlfriend sit here typing, new to this site, with hopefully an interesting request for you :-)

We both share a foot fetish and love for women's feet, specifically we both get turned on by the smell. The smell of a woman's foot when they are sweaty and tired after a long day bare feet in shoes.....

Have just returned from holiday where we went to a strip club and had an incredible foot smelling encounter with a gorgeous and open minded stripper. 1 hour of foot smelling (both ladies smelling each others feet and shoes) along with sexy dancing and flirting....

Now we want to take it to the next level and meet up with a sexy (open minded) girl who would indulge in our foot smelling play but also be happy with intercourse along with the sexy foot play?

So I ask you would this be something you would consider? Are you able to get smelly feet and do you have shoes that are well worn and smelly? Would you be comfortable smelling Sarah's feet? We just want to make sure so we are not wasting anyone's time

We are an attractive couple in our early thirties :-)

Hope to hear from you soon

HAD THIS!! About a year ago. They are not new at all.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: strawberryjam on 15 October 2016, 04:42:51 pm
Quote from: dser366 on 15 October 2016, 04:07:41 am
This must be a joke right!!



Dear Dani
I hope this find you well.
My name is Fraser.
I recently started out as an escort.
I came across your AW ad. I would like to take this further by inviting you To Try my services free of charge.
And if you enjoyed my company I would be grateful if you left feedback for me.
My Best Regards,
Fraser
AW:
07******

I had a client called Gavin from Norwich, f** weirdo btw, he emailed and texted me that he's on adultwork now selling his services, he asked if me or my fiends were interested  ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 15 October 2016, 07:23:02 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 15 October 2016, 01:37:04 pm
haha! He must think we're stupid!!!!!!!!!!
I think I am sometimes lol, some of the things I do , or give serious consideration to ! Lmao
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 16 October 2016, 07:50:44 am
Just woke up to this gem:

"Hi mom do you give sloppy gobbles?"

I am actually amused by this and just tickled by the way "sloppy gobbles" sounds that I'm tempted to text back an appreciative comment.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luciexx on 16 October 2016, 09:29:40 am
a booking request from a guy (I spoke to him) who has neutral feedbacks which described that he had cancelled / messed escorts around.  He texted me, "coming by taxi, send me your address".  Thank you, ladies.  Your comments helped. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 16 October 2016, 06:28:00 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 16 October 2016, 07:50:44 am
Just woke up to this gem:

"Hi mom do you give sloppy gobbles?"

I am actually amused by this and just tickled by the way "sloppy gobbles" sounds that I'm tempted to text back an appreciative comment.
I like this too, think I would have replied. Better than 'Will you do a blowjob for a tenner babe' which is what I woke up to on Saturday
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 17 October 2016, 08:04:40 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 15 October 2016, 03:18:29 am
Mail received yesterday :-)




Hey there,

Love your photos and profile!

Me and my lovely girlfriend sit here typing, new to this site, with hopefully an interesting request for you :-)

We both share a foot fetish and love for women's feet, specifically we both get turned on by the smell. The smell of a woman's foot when they are sweaty and tired after a long day bare feet in shoes.....

Have just returned from holiday where we went to a strip club and had an incredible foot smelling encounter with a gorgeous and open minded stripper. 1 hour of foot smelling (both ladies smelling each others feet and shoes) along with sexy dancing and flirting....

Now we want to take it to the next level and meet up with a sexy (open minded) girl who would indulge in our foot smelling play but also be happy with intercourse along with the sexy foot play?

So I ask you would this be something you would consider? Are you able to get smelly feet and do you have shoes that are well worn and smelly? Would you be comfortable smelling Sarah's feet? We just want to make sure so we are not wasting anyone's time

We are an attractive couple in our early thirties :-)

Hope to hear from you soon

Had him too
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 17 October 2016, 08:41:50 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 15 October 2016, 03:18:29 am
Mail received yesterday :-)




Hey there,

Love your photos and profile!

Me and my lovely girlfriend sit here typing, new to this site, with hopefully an interesting request for you :-)

We both share a foot fetish and love for women's feet, specifically we both get turned on by the smell. The smell of a woman's foot when they are sweaty and tired after a long day bare feet in shoes.....

Have just returned from holiday where we went to a strip club and had an incredible foot smelling encounter with a gorgeous and open minded stripper. 1 hour of foot smelling (both ladies smelling each others feet and shoes) along with sexy dancing and flirting....

Now we want to take it to the next level and meet up with a sexy (open minded) girl who would indulge in our foot smelling play but also be happy with intercourse along with the sexy foot play?

So I ask you would this be something you would consider? Are you able to get smelly feet and do you have shoes that are well worn and smelly? Would you be comfortable smelling Sarah's feet? We just want to make sure so we are not wasting anyone's time

We are an attractive couple in our early thirties :-)

Hope to hear from you soon
If this was a genuine enquiry I'd do this booking, I have lots of foot sniffers.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 17 October 2016, 09:20:53 pm
Text Sunday 9.20pm
Hi, Never tried this before, so could you give me a run down of what to expect ? I'm 22 and like an older woman. I'm thinking about doing it but I can't lie this is way out of my comfort zone. (I'd prefer to talk by text if that okay) James

Text Today 20.27
I'd like to meet but I'm not totally comfortable just yet because I don't know what to expect.
I'd really like to start with texting. If you don't want to text then. Maybe you could call and leave a voicemail.

(Think I'll pass for at least 13 years and he reaches my min age requirement hopefully by then he'll have grown some balls and know what he wants. I'm a whore not a hand holding nursery nurse.)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 17 October 2016, 09:21:38 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 17 October 2016, 08:04:40 pm
Had him too

Me too - I thought it was a bit of a copy and paste job!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 17 October 2016, 09:31:55 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 17 October 2016, 09:20:53 pm
Text Sunday 9.20pm
Hi, Never tried this before, so could you give me a run down of what to expect ? I'm 22 and like an older woman. I'm thinking about doing it but I can't lie this is way out of my comfort zone. (I'd prefer to talk by text if that okay) James

Text Today 20.27
I'd like to meet but I'm not totally comfortable just yet because I don't know what to expect.
I'd really like to start with texting. If you don't want to text then. Maybe you could call and leave a voicemail.

(Think I'll pass for at least 13 years and he reaches my min age requirement hopefully by then he'll have grown some balls and know what he wants. I'm a whore not a hand holding nursery nurse.)

Quite. The worst clients I have had have been men in their 20's who want me to take charge and seduce them. Euuuukkkkkkkkk. CBA.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 17 October 2016, 09:47:05 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 17 October 2016, 09:31:55 pm
Quite. The worst clients I have had have been men in their 20's who want me to take charge and seduce them. Euuuukkkkkkkkk. CBA.
I won't see them, too many have 'mommy/aunty roleplay fantasies which I don't do. Give me a grown man who knows what he want's and its something I offer and I'm a happy hooker.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 17 October 2016, 09:49:48 pm
Exactly. I saw a young guy the other week and got a text from him yesterday:
Please go out with me you are so wonderful and I can learn so much from you.

F ORRRRFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 17 October 2016, 10:13:19 pm
hi baby.  can u pick me up plz?  i'll give you money for petrol and ?50 for a handjob in the car



i even say in my profile i am at the mercy of public transport so i'll not travel far from the city centre!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 18 October 2016, 12:09:20 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 17 October 2016, 09:49:48 pm
Exactly. I saw a young guy the other week and got a text from him yesterday:
Please go out with me you are so wonderful and I can learn so much from you.

F ORRRRFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Lmao just ask him he wants to learn about 'scat play' booking yesterday said he'd  "like to see some chocolate sauce come out of my little fudge hole"" sorry all I could think about was you lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 18 October 2016, 01:06:06 pm
Hey,

Youve got a great profile, really did interest me. Well im Andre Lavado, you may have even heard of me. (killergram,com)

(couple of killergram links attached)

Well anyway getting to the point, I would love to do some pictures together for our private gallery. Is this something that would interest you? If so just reply back with your contact number and il give you a call x

I could even do some Solo ones of you if you fancied.

I have the New GoPro camera which takes HD pictures and Videos.

Andre Lavado

Be sure to check my profile out.

I think I will pass.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nora batty on 18 October 2016, 01:07:25 pm
Aw email this weekend


Hello,

I?ve been considering a Fetish/Domination Session

Is there any chance you are looking for a Personal Slav and work for potential 'play' through chores which you need and if you decide I do a good job I can get rewarded with play/punished -

Now I?ll be honest - I?m asking this as I've never did anything like this so would be a bit shy which would make it a fun experience but would like to learn a lot and also impress but getting trained in the correct way.

Some tasks I can do for you:
Washing
Cleaning
Scrubbing
Footstool
Painting Nails
Getting dressed
Giving massages
Worshipping you
Pictures/Videos for your private gallery*
Whatever you wish....

Kind regards,
Dean

Didn't even bother relying, freebie hunting cut and paste
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 18 October 2016, 01:13:16 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 18 October 2016, 01:06:06 pm
Hey,

Youve got a great profile, really did interest me. Well im Andre Lavado, you may have even heard of me. (killergram,com)

(couple of killergram links attached)

Well anyway getting to the point, I would love to do some pictures together for our private gallery. Is this something that would interest you? If so just reply back with your contact number and il give you a call x

I could even do some Solo ones of you if you fancied.

I have the New GoPro camera which takes HD pictures and Videos.

Andre Lavado

Be sure to check my profile out.

I think I will pass.

Yeah, I've had that bellend. I can't remember whether I bothered replying to point out that my profile clearly says I don't allow any photography or filming or just dumped it. I'd guess at the latter ::).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 18 October 2016, 07:18:45 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 18 October 2016, 01:06:06 pm
Hey,

Youve got a great profile, really did interest me. Well im Andre Lavado, you may have even heard of me. (killergram,com)

(couple of killergram links attached)

Well anyway getting to the point, I would love to do some pictures together for our private gallery. Is this something that would interest you? If so just reply back with your contact number and il give you a call x

I could even do some Solo ones of you if you fancied.

I have the New GoPro camera which takes HD pictures and Videos.

Andre Lavado

Be sure to check my profile out.

I think I will pass.

Haven't heard of him, received the same email several times. Yawn and straight in the bin!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 18 October 2016, 09:18:35 pm
Email today.

"Hello, I'm married and can't really call you. Can we arrange a meet on email on here? I'm pay you upfront if you would like. Just can't call... Thank you"
 
Do some married people really have zero freedom to even ring someone? And he has all webcam feedback so clearly has freedom to do that!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 18 October 2016, 09:42:54 pm
A text: "Ows u dad" then 10 minutes later another "Ows u xx"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 18 October 2016, 09:46:25 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 18 October 2016, 09:18:35 pm
Email today.

"Hello, I'm married and can't really call you. Can we arrange a meet on email on here? I'm pay you upfront if you would like. Just can't call... Thank you"
 
Do some married people really have zero freedom to even ring someone? And he has all webcam feedback so clearly has freedom to do that!

I've had a similar one by text saying he can't call only text to book but he will pay upfront...I think they know that no one is going to give their bank details to some random, but he was stuck when I said he can pay me by phone top up (suddenly he wasn't sure if he could 'trust a random stranger' !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 19 October 2016, 12:46:55 pm
Email on AW entitled 'Mutual Meet' thanks for the heads up TW!

Good morning gorgeous,

I am a male escort and adult movie actor from London, starting work down south. Looking for some mutual meets with local escorts to get settled in! If you would like to meet and have some fun with me then please reply asap!

J x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 19 October 2016, 05:58:46 pm
Quote from: katrina on 18 October 2016, 09:42:54 pm
A text: "Ows u dad" then 10 minutes later another "Ows u xx"

Took me a while to translate it into common language  :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 19 October 2016, 06:12:00 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 17 October 2016, 09:49:48 pm
Exactly. I saw a young guy the other week and got a text from him yesterday:
Please go out with me you are so wonderful and I can learn so much from you.

F ORRRRFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

I had a few young clients, 21-24yo and yup they do a bit of that whole hand holding/cuddling thing but they are sweet and kind of admirative (And hot) And mostly very pleasant.
Sadly some of them are deeply into porn and think sex is banging and turning you upside down every 2 minutes. One of these pornhub fans really pissed me off one day so I kept him almost 30 minutes after the booking lecturing him on the porn and giving him basic vocabulary for vagina (he never heard the word cervix before). Never saw him again  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 19 October 2016, 07:59:37 pm
Quote from: LadyOfTheNight on 19 October 2016, 12:46:55 pm
Email on AW entitled 'Mutual Meet' thanks for the heads up TW!

Good morning gorgeous,

I am a male escort and adult movie actor from London, starting work down south. Looking for some mutual meets with local escorts to get settled in! If you would like to meet and have some fun with me then please reply asap!

J x
Ah hope you were quick enough and didn't miss your opportunity !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 19 October 2016, 08:07:41 pm
Quote from: Guiltypleasure on 19 October 2016, 07:59:37 pm
Ah hope you were quick enough and didn't miss your opportunity !

I'm so sad I missed out and had a pleasurable paid booking, not! Yeh I'll be your fuck buddy for free :FF thing is I can get paid for it you can't matey boy  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tinkerbell on 19 October 2016, 09:48:05 pm
'How much is just oral? Because that's not cheating for you is it? I've got enough on my Conscience'
That was the entire message. Has anyone got any idea what that's all about?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 19 October 2016, 09:52:29 pm
Quote from: Tinkerbell on 19 October 2016, 09:48:05 pm
'How much is just oral? Because that's not cheating for you is it? I've got enough on my Conscience'
That was the entire message. Has anyone got any idea what that's all about?
Yep it's the same price but I have a couple of guys who're like this one only looks and wanks and one just let's me give him a hand job but now he's letting me do more .
It's so they can pass a Jeremy Kyle lie detector .
"Have you kissed anyone else" ? " no"
"Have you had sex with anyone else"?  " no"  lol lol lol
But it's still 150 lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 19 October 2016, 10:00:02 pm
Quote from: LadyOfTheNight on 19 October 2016, 12:46:55 pm
Email on AW entitled 'Mutual Meet' thanks for the heads up TW!

Good morning gorgeous,

I am a male escort and adult movie actor from London, starting work down south. Looking for some mutual meets with local escorts to get settled in! If you would like to meet and have some fun with me then please reply asap!

J x

Use of the word 'meet' as a noun (instead of 'booking', or whatever) isn't quite an insta-block with me, but it's getting there.

I don't understand why they text or email asking to 'meet' or 'meet up', then when I tell them that if they want to book they need to decide on incall or outcall because I'm not going to meet them anywhere it generally turns out they wanted an incall all along, so why not say so? I don't call the surgery and ask when my doctor can 'meet up'. It's fucking moronic.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 20 October 2016, 12:23:28 am
Quote from: amy on 19 October 2016, 10:00:02 pm
Use of the word 'meet' as a noun (instead of 'booking', or whatever) isn't quite an insta-block with me, but it's getting there.

I don't understand why they text or email asking to 'meet' or 'meet up', then when I tell them that if they want to book they need to decide on incall or outcall because I'm not going to meet them anywhere it generally turns out they wanted an incall all along, so why not say so? I don't call the surgery and ask when my doctor can 'meet up'. It's fucking moronic.
Yeh sometimes guys who actually intend to book say 'a meet' but the fact he says 'mutual meet' shouts at me he is defo not looking to pay...maybe I'm wrong but unlikely I think since he seems to be emailing every lady in the vicinity with no date in mind either.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 20 October 2016, 07:09:22 am
Quote from: amy on 19 October 2016, 10:00:02 pm
Use of the word 'meet' as a noun (instead of 'booking', or whatever) isn't quite an insta-block with me, but it's getting there.

I don't understand why they text or email asking to 'meet' or 'meet up', then when I tell them that if they want to book they need to decide on incall or outcall because I'm not going to meet them anywhere it generally turns out they wanted an incall all along, so why not say so? I don't call the surgery and ask when my doctor can 'meet up'. It's fucking moronic.

LOL at asking the doctor to "meet up".

When I'm on cam, the phrase "meet" gets used a lot, mainly "Do you meet?" The other phrase is usually "Do you escort?" I have converted quite a few cammers to bookings, so I need to start tracking whether the ones who convert use "escort" or "meet" phrasing. My gut feeling is that "meet" indicates a fantasy where they're just having a wank over the idea of booking, whereas using "escort" would indicate they have probably punted before and are being realistic. But I want DATA to back this up!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: evabraun on 20 October 2016, 02:14:38 pm
him:how much for a quicky(I dont do quickies) and how many times I can come?
me: get lost
him: ok
 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 20 October 2016, 03:14:55 pm
Quote from: amy on 19 October 2016, 10:00:02 pm
Use of the word 'meet' as a noun (instead of 'booking', or whatever) isn't quite an insta-block with me, but it's getting there.

I don't understand why they text or email asking to 'meet' or 'meet up', then when I tell them that if they want to book they need to decide on incall or outcall because I'm not going to meet them anywhere it generally turns out they wanted an incall all along, so why not say so? I don't call the surgery and ask when my doctor can 'meet up'. It's fucking moronic.

I am adding "fucking moronic" to my everyday vocabulary! Just what I needed!
There's also the "hang out" version of "meet up" and for me both are either fantasists or freebie hunters. While a "meet" occasionally happens to be a genuine inquiry, not often but apparently for some guys clearly a synonym to a "booking". All depending on the whole sentence and context because one day I had "U free for a meat hun"  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 20 October 2016, 04:00:12 pm
Got a text yest (even tho my profile clearly states do not text) saying 'I want to plough you' needless to say he didnt get my normal response of 'please call for bookings'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 21 October 2016, 10:46:22 am
Quote from: wishlist on 20 October 2016, 04:00:12 pm
Got a text yest (even tho my profile clearly states do not text) saying 'I want to plough you' needless to say he didnt get my normal response of 'please call for bookings'
I had someone texting via the AW service (so at least I got paid for responding!) asking if he could, "Slam my pussy with his 8" cock." Urgh, no thanks...

Also this morning, guys calls for appointment, I give him my postcode go through my litle spiel. He then asks for the postcode again so I give it him again. Then I ask for a name and ask him to read back the postcode. He asks for it again...I hung up. If someone hasn't written it down second time after asking me for it again I'm not going to expect them to be showing up!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 21 October 2016, 12:20:56 pm
By email this morning:

Twat: 'Hi Amy, love your profile and see you're heading my way soon. Got a thick uncut 8 inch cock I know you'd enjoy getting to know!'

Me: 'Do you think you should be letting it write your emails?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 21 October 2016, 12:22:57 pm
Quote from: amy on 21 October 2016, 12:20:56 pm
By email this morning:

Twat: 'Hi Amy, love your profile and see you're heading my way soon. Got a thick uncut 8 inch cock I know you'd enjoy getting to know!'

Me: 'Do you think you should be letting it write your emails?'

 :D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 21 October 2016, 04:04:44 pm
Quote from: amy on 21 October 2016, 12:20:56 pm
By email this morning:

Twat: 'Hi Amy, love your profile and see you're heading my way soon. Got a thick uncut 8 inch cock I know you'd enjoy getting to know!'

Me: 'Do you think you should be letting it write your emails?'

LMAO!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 21 October 2016, 07:03:29 pm
Dear Lord, anyone else got the Jungle Book fantasy role play request????
Its just too long to copy paste and I'm sitting here thinking he's probably serious about it!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 22 October 2016, 10:02:29 am
By text:

Twat: available now??? street address an postcode now
Me: *ignores*
Twat: street address an postcode pls???
Me: it's manners street, off courtesy place
Twat: don't no it
Me: no, I didn't think you did
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 22 October 2016, 10:31:11 am
Email received :

"How big are your tits as I might have 2 potential jobs for you, 1 being for a friend. The other is for me."

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: peachybum on 22 October 2016, 10:58:00 am
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 21 October 2016, 07:03:29 pm
Dear Lord, anyone else got the Jungle Book fantasy role play request????
Its just too long to copy paste and I'm sitting here thinking he's probably serious about it!!!!

Omfg! Mt friend got this now she can't watch the jungle book without thinking about that email. It really creeped her out lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 22 October 2016, 12:55:26 pm
Quote from: peachybum on 22 October 2016, 10:58:00 am
Omfg! Mt friend got this now she can't watch the jungle book without thinking about that email. It really creeped her out lol

I ended up trying to imagine how on Earth he wanted to play it out? And was I supposed to be Kaa???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 22 October 2016, 01:55:03 pm
Quote from: amy on 22 October 2016, 10:02:29 am
By text:

Twat: available now??? street address an postcode now
Me: *ignores*
Twat: street address an postcode pls???
Me: it's manners street, off courtesy place
Twat: don't no it
Me: no, I didn't think you did

That is brilliant.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 22 October 2016, 02:34:03 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 22 October 2016, 01:55:03 pm
That is brilliant.

I'm taking a screenshot of this one !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 22 October 2016, 02:44:19 pm
Received this AW email from a profile set up 2 days ago...

Hello

I wish to produce videos for my own private collection. I am hoping you be interested in film work. I wish to produce ass shaking films. Also tit sucking films. I can offer a very substantial financial package. If interested please reply directly to
xxxxxxxxxxx@gmail.com

This is a very genuine business request with the opportunity to earn a great deal of monies.

Yours sincerely.

Janet Graham


Well 'Janet Graham' If you read my profile you will see I don't offer filming or photos, also on my profile is my age 58 and most likely if I were to 'shake my ass' with the vigour you'd require for your video I'd pull something and end up in A&E. Unfortunately I will have to pass on your generous and tempting offer of a 'great deal of monies'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 22 October 2016, 03:03:41 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 21 October 2016, 07:03:29 pm
Dear Lord, anyone else got the Jungle Book fantasy role play request????
Its just too long to copy paste and I'm sitting here thinking he's probably serious about it!!!!

Yep, a few times from different IDs/aliases. Ignore him, he's a fantasist.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 22 October 2016, 03:05:55 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 22 October 2016, 02:44:19 pm
Received this AW email from a profile set up 2 days ago...

Hello

I wish to produce videos for my own private collection. I am hoping you be interested in film work. I wish to produce ass shaking films. Also tit sucking films. I can offer a very substantial financial package. If interested please reply directly to
xxxxxxxxxxx@gmail.com

This is a very genuine business request with the opportunity to earn a great deal of monies.

Yours sincerely.

Janet Graham


Well 'Janet Graham' If you read my profile you will see I don't offer filming or photos, also on my profile is my age 58 and most likely if I were to 'shake my ass' with the vigour you'd require for your video I'd pull something and end up in A&E. Unfortunately I will have to pass on your generous and tempting offer of a 'great deal of monies'

Received as well - I produce my own clips for my own "financial package" and "monies".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 22 October 2016, 03:41:02 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 22 October 2016, 03:03:41 pm
Yep, a few times from different IDs/aliases. Ignore him, he's a fantasist.

Once I had a Lady Chatterley's Lover role play phone chat and that was just freaking amazing.
Now this twat totally spoiled the Jungle Book for me, thank god he didn't suggest getting into a wardrobe and acting out Narnia cuz I would fucking report him!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 22 October 2016, 03:47:53 pm
Quote from: katrina on 22 October 2016, 10:31:11 am
Email received :

"How big are your tits as I might have 2 potential jobs for you, 1 being for a friend. The other is for me."

Well I got 2 big tits so could *potentially* see them: 1 tit being for him, the other for the friend... ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 22 October 2016, 10:44:36 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 22 October 2016, 03:47:53 pm
Well I got 2 big tits so could *potentially* see them: 1 tit being for him, the other for the friend... ;D


This made me laugh so much!!! I can just imagine one on each tit, me looking from side to side asking them both if they're sure that each tit is big enough for them lmao :-)))
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sashaan on 26 October 2016, 07:57:31 pm
Couple of days ago some salesman hit me up on aw. He seemed nice, a bit nervous he said he's going to be around for few months for business trip and he's looking for a one lady for companionship.
Twice a week.
Exclusively.
It seemed strange for me but I thought to myself "Hey I don't have to decide now, I can just meet him and see, maybe he just likes stability".
Today we were discussing rates, i told him my standard fees apply and left him at that. Few hours later he texted me saying he's assuming I'm happy with HIS rates.
"Well, my rates for longterm arrangement are ?100/hour".
So let me get this straight, you go to a barber and you tell them "Oh, it's ?35? Well I'll be a regular for 6months. I won't see anyone else. My rate is ?25".  :FF :FF :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 26 October 2016, 10:02:42 pm

"Im looking for a respectful british lady, may i know if thats you pls?"

Nope mate , I'm far from respectable and I'm not even British ...
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 26 October 2016, 10:29:44 pm
I am guessing here that "respectful" means "you won't bitch about my whiffy armpits and piss-stained cock"  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 26 October 2016, 10:42:38 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 26 October 2016, 10:29:44 pm
I am guessing here that "respectful" means "you won't bitch about my whiffy armpits and piss-stained cock"  :-X

I had 1 of these tonight, i sat in the bath an hour after he left  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 26 October 2016, 11:18:01 pm
Had an email from a bloke asking about my submissive bdsm services..I don't offer anything like that.Anyway out of curiosity I asked him where he had got the idea that I was into that scene.He insisted that I offered it on my ad and my webpage!
He sent me a link to my backpage ad...yep you guessed it!It was someone elses backpage ad...dickhead! :FF
He did at least apologise when I sent him a link to my actual backpage advert...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sashaan on 27 October 2016, 07:18:54 pm
Got a guy yesterday, short notice. I convinced him to do the deed today.
He gave me the street address the night before, asking if I wanted a pick up. I said I don't and what's the street number - he answered with something irrelevant (mentioned there's no furniture hue).
Okaay...
In the morning he asked me what hour I would like to come over - I told him I can't be there, unless he'd tell me his full adress and his full name. He wrote back that he wanted to arrange first...
Arrange what? Me going to... where? I haven't replied, just waited for him to give me details.
He finally did. 8 hours later. Still haven't supplied his full name  :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 27 October 2016, 11:47:50 pm
WTF is this shite I've received via AW?


Wow, you're so pretty and going through your profile, I found some things that says we have in common, I have seen sunsets, sunrises, blue oceans, deep seas, lush forests, dense jungles, but nothing - not even these - could compare to the beauty that I see in you. I'm a beautiful hearted guy, who's in search of his soul mate and intends to find it here on this site, because I've heard a lot of success stories. I would love to correspond with you and see if we could work something out. Once again I must say God worked over time creating you. Let?s keep in touch with private addresses because i dont come on the site often. write me at [redacted]@gmail.com hopping to hear from you
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 27 October 2016, 11:51:57 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 27 October 2016, 11:47:50 pm
WTF is this shite I've received via AW?


Wow, you're so pretty and going through your profile, I found some things that says we have in common, I have seen sunsets, sunrises, blue oceans, deep seas, lush forests, dense jungles, but nothing - not even these - could compare to the beauty that I see in you. I'm a beautiful hearted guy, who's in search of his soul mate and intends to find it here on this site, because I've heard a lot of success stories. I would love to correspond with you and see if we could work something out. Once again I must say God worked over time creating you. Let?s keep in touch with private addresses because i dont come on the site often. write me at [redacted]@gmail.com hopping to hear from you

Hahahahaha - I got that one a couple of days and and deleted it before I thought to post it here. What a dick ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 27 October 2016, 11:59:02 pm
I've just had similar bollox via email about how he "would be very grateful if I would grant him permission to see me for a session" The only issue being he may have to book a month in advance...*yawns*


Ffs course I would see him if he turns up and pays,  why does he think I'm advertising, for a fucking laugh??!!! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jill on 28 October 2016, 12:09:19 am
Quote from: katrina on 27 October 2016, 11:59:02 pm
I've just had similar bollox via email about how he "would be very grateful if I would grant him permission to see me for a session" The only issue being he may have to book a month in advance...*yawns*
Ffs course I would see him if he turns up and pays,  why does he think I'm advertising, for a fucking laugh??!!!

Yes because he would then start emailing back and forth telling you all the lovely things you would both do and you would be replying every time and he would be having such a wonderful time with those emails that booking would be cancelled at the last hour.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 28 October 2016, 12:11:22 am
Quote from: Jill on 28 October 2016, 12:09:19 am
Yes because he would then start emailing back and forth telling you all the lovely things you would both do and you would be replying every time and he would be having such a wonderful time with those emails that booking would be cancelled at the last hour.


Exactly!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 28 October 2016, 01:17:19 am
Wow, you're so pretty and going through your profile, I found some things that says we have in common, I have seen sunsets, sunrises, blue oceans, deep seas, lush forests, dense jungles, but nothing - not even these - could compare to the beauty that I see in you. I'm a beautiful hearted guy, who's in search of his soul mate and intends to find it here on this site, because I've heard a lot of success stories. I would love to correspond with you and see if we could work something out. Once again I must say God worked over time creating you. Let?s keep in touch with private addresses because i dont come on the site often. write me at  hopping to hear from you

fucking nutjob pass me the puke bucket..boke




[AW nick removed]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 28 October 2016, 09:23:26 am
Quote
I'm a beautiful hearted guy, who's in search of his soul mate and intends to find it here on this site

Aaaand he starts his search on a site which is specifically there to find a sex worker. Fucking hell, what an idiot.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 28 October 2016, 04:07:04 pm
I think that guy saw too many movies lol, what success stories exactly? Why does he want a sex worker specifically? It's amazing the lengths people go to for a freebie.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 28 October 2016, 07:46:31 pm
Quote from: curvywench on 28 October 2016, 01:17:19 am
Wow, you're so pretty and going through your profile, I found some things that says we have in common, I have seen sunsets, sunrises, blue oceans, deep seas, lush forests, dense jungles, but nothing - not even these - could compare to the beauty that I see in you. I'm a beautiful hearted guy, who's in search of his soul mate and intends to find it here on this site, because I've heard a lot of success stories. I would love to correspond with you and see if we could work something out. Once again I must say God worked over time creating you. Let?s keep in touch with private addresses because i dont come on the site often. write me at  hopping to hear from you

fucking nutjob pass me the puke bucket..boke




[AW nick removed]

Oh I'm sure I know who this is lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 28 October 2016, 08:25:10 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 28 October 2016, 07:46:31 pm
Oh I'm sure I know who this is lol!

Well the above makes three of us that have posted it so far in the last couple of days, so if you don't know yet you likely soon will  ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 28 October 2016, 09:31:11 pm
Quote from: curvywench on 28 October 2016, 01:17:19 am
QUOTE:'Wow, you're so pretty and going through your profile, I found some things that says we have in common, I have seen sunsets, sunrises, blue oceans, deep seas, lush forests, dense jungles, but nothing - not even these - could compare to the beauty that I see in you. I'm a beautiful hearted guy, who's in search of his soul mate and intends to find it here on this site, because I've heard a lot of success stories. I would love to correspond with you and see if we could work something out. Once again I must say God worked over time creating you. Let?s keep in touch with private addresses because i dont come on the site often. write me at  hopping to hear from you'


 Imagine meeting him!!!!!!!!!!! Would be worth it for the laugh recounting it to us!






Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 29 October 2016, 11:29:03 am
Me: Hello, [myname] speaking?
Him: Hi, is that [myname]?

At this point I rated him as 75% likely to be a TW since he clearly wasn't listening to my greeting

Me: Yes it is
Him: Great, how are you, wow you sound gorgeous

TW rating now up to 80% because how the fuck does someone "sound" gorgeous

Him: Yeah I'm coming down to your city in an hour or so and wanted to see you, your photos are so great, you are so sexy, I love a woman with a big bum...
Me [Interrupting]: What's your name and how long do you want to book for?
Him: It's XXX, and I was thinking an overnight

TW rating now at 85% as he sounded far too young (and stupid) to have enough cash for my overnight rate

Me: Maximum booking for new customers is 2 hours.
Him: Oh right, well is it incall or outcall?
Me: I can offer both. Are you staying at a hotel?
Him: Well I can do

TW rating now at 90% as he clearly has no definite travel plans or reason to be in my city and hotels here are laughably expensive

Him: So do you do OWO?
Me: Yes
Him: Do you do anal?
Me: No
Him: Do you do watersports?
Me: No

TW rating now 95%

Me [interrupting]: Where did you find my number?
Him: AW
Me: Well my profile on AW very clearly states my likes and dislikes list, so I am suspecting that the only reason you have phoned me is to have a wank while you think about booking me.

Him: Do you have a friend who could join us?
 :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 29 October 2016, 12:54:17 pm
However VC your knobhead  definitely cheered me up. I mentally do TW ratings too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fion on 29 October 2016, 01:01:36 pm
Client txts for a booking. I tell him prices. Ask him what time he wants to book

Client: Need to know what hotel your in, need your real first name and last name and hotel room no
Me: Um I dont think so.
Client: I need to check you're actually in the room and not a timewaster

 Added him to my potential stalker / hotel outer list so I don't take any further bookings from him.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lapetitemort on 29 October 2016, 09:22:12 pm
*random text sent 20 mins past my last appointment time*
'1 hour?'
Me: 1 hour parking? 1 hour photo printing? 1 hour delivery?'
Him: 'what area? Just looked at your pics, didn't make it as far to read anything. Can be there in 30.'
*I ignore*
Him: 'poor customer service. Can I get a massage (rolls eyes)*

Not quite sure what he was blabbering on about in the last bit but the punters who treat us like a taxi service really put the shits up me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 29 October 2016, 11:50:39 pm
Quote from: amy on 28 October 2016, 08:25:10 pm
Well the above makes three of us that have posted it so far in the last couple of days, so if you don't know yet you likely soon will  ;D.

I meant I thought I may have actually seen him once... but then maybe they are twins :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 30 October 2016, 12:27:34 pm
Quote from: ohlaila on 29 October 2016, 09:22:12 pm
*random text sent 20 mins past my last appointment time*
'1 hour?'
Me: 1 hour parking? 1 hour photo printing? 1 hour delivery?'
Him: 'what area? Just looked at your pics, didn't make it as far to read anything. Can be there in 30.'
*I ignore*
Him: 'poor customer service. Can I get a massage (rolls eyes)*

Not quite sure what he was blabbering on about in the last bit but the punters who treat us like a taxi service really put the shits up me.

He has an attitude because he is having to pay for sex. I would tell him he is the one with the manners like shit, not you.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 30 October 2016, 02:45:58 pm
Guy calls me this morning and says "I have money to spend on you, I want you to tell me why you deserve my money and what you will do for it".

It's gonna be one of those days....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 30 October 2016, 05:51:36 pm
So iv just got a friend request on my personal FB off a guy i used to do cam shows for 10 years ago, all was going great cam show agreed till he then said.....'and when im back home at christmas i want a proper go on you' rightttttttttttttttt i think il pass  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 30 October 2016, 07:18:33 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 30 October 2016, 02:45:58 pm
Guy calls me this morning and says "I have money to spend on you, I want you to tell me why you deserve my money and what you will do for it".

It's gonna be one of those days....

Me I would just tell him to fucking go spend it somewhere else...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 30 October 2016, 07:20:58 pm
Quote from: ohlaila on 29 October 2016, 09:22:12 pm
*random text sent 20 mins past my last appointment time*
'1 hour?'
Me: 1 hour parking? 1 hour photo printing? 1 hour delivery?'
Him: 'what area? Just looked at your pics, didn't make it as far to read anything. Can be there in 30.'
*I ignore*
Him: 'poor customer service. Can I get a massage (rolls eyes)*

Not quite sure what he was blabbering on about in the last bit but the punters who treat us like a taxi service really put the shits up me.

Didn't make it as far to read anything? Hahaha poor moron really didn't make it far with you, did he?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 31 October 2016, 08:48:02 am
Via email last night:
Hi I was curious if I could book a 45 min appointment tomorrow
Asked him a time.Agreed time all sorted.
Then this 'Could I have a 30 min instead?'
I was abit miffed but agreed.
2 mins later..'Could you answer the door naked?'
More miffed now and told him no way.
2 mins later 'When does the 30 min start?Is it when I arrive?'
Wtf? 'Yes'
His answer..'Oh,maybe I should book when I can afford more time sorry to waste your time'
So basically he couldn't afford the time he originally wanted but thought what?!?I may give him the extra 15 mins for free?
Doesn't matter that if he had had his way that he would have been getting an ogle of me naked the minute I opened the door while he stood faffing around before his actual actiom time started...arsehole!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 31 October 2016, 09:16:48 am
Via my website email ...in the Trash where it belongs...

hi ill be coming to london and staying at a hotel in kings cross . im 38 mixed race athletic build fully shaven and clean . Can you tell me your price etc maybe we could do some drinks chill and take it from there . Thanks

I'm not in London.

Drinks, chill? looking in the wrong place mate.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gizzi on 31 October 2016, 10:40:58 am
Quote from: curvywench on 28 October 2016, 01:17:19 am
Wow, you're so pretty and going through your profile, I found some things that says we have in common, I have seen sunsets, sunrises, blue oceans, deep seas, lush forests, dense jungles, but nothing - not even these - could compare to the beauty that I see in you. I'm a beautiful hearted guy, who's in search of his soul mate and intends to find it here on this site, because I've heard a lot of success stories. I would love to correspond with you and see if we could work something out. Once again I must say God worked over time creating you. Let?s keep in touch with private addresses because i dont come on the site often. write me at  hopping to hear from you

fucking nutjob pass me the puke bucket..boke


He's still at it, from a new account set up at 10.19hrs today. He has way too much time on his hands!


[quote fixed]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MistressMorgana on 31 October 2016, 12:04:45 pm
By text, last night.

'I'd like you to sit on my face and grind your arsehole into my mouth. I'll pay ?30. Let me know if you're free and I'll come round now.'

By text, this morning.

'I'm new to this so not sure of the etiquette and if you haven't replied because of the text, the price or a combination of both. Please reply if you have the time.'

Added to spam numbers which means this fucking idiot will now be texting cyberspace.  8)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 31 October 2016, 01:04:05 pm
Quote from: MistressMorgana on 31 October 2016, 12:04:45 pm
By text, last night.

'I'd like you to sit on my face and grind your arsehole into my mouth. I'll pay ?30. Let me know if you're free and I'll come round now.'


More than anything else this makes me want to kill people, I can deal with stupidity and other stuff but my pet hate is when they start dictating what you will do and how much they are paying for it, this is not a negotiation the price is for time and that's how it is, why do some of these people seem to think they can get a smaller price for doing something else?

When I was starting out I had a guy call who kept messing me around wanting to reduce time and asking "What if you just strip naked and I wank, how much for that?" etc and I've just hated this crap since.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MistressMorgana on 31 October 2016, 01:13:04 pm
Completely agree, TrashAzn,

Luckily, I've not had this in a long time but it's always by text. I've given up losing the rag over it as it's too stressful. In the past I would have told him to stick his 30 quid up his jap's eye  ;D

I just block them now as they are complete twats who will never, ever get to see an escort anyway.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 31 October 2016, 02:01:29 pm
Stupid text day today!
Someone telling me he's an amateur punter..as opposed to a professional one?!? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 31 October 2016, 02:32:59 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 31 October 2016, 02:01:29 pm
Stupid text day today!
Someone telling me he's an amateur punter..as opposed to a professional one?!? ???

Nah. Opposed to "serial punter" :) I call some of them
"Serial punters", a bit like serial killers :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 31 October 2016, 02:55:31 pm
The same dude played text tennis asking all sorts of crap,claiming his 'friend' gave him my number.When I told him I preferred to see clients that have found and read my profile themselves before contacting me he funnily enough found my AW profile within seconds.
He then rang and went into some story about how he had booked his regular for Wednesday but she was crap and could he see me instead..I think my TW radar was working right the minute he used 'Amateur punter'! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 31 October 2016, 03:31:56 pm
Phone rings..

Me...Hello.
Twat..Hi is this Michelle.
Me...No
Click... I put the phone down.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 31 October 2016, 06:49:15 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 31 October 2016, 02:55:31 pm
The same dude played text tennis asking all sorts of crap,claiming his 'friend' gave him my number.When I told him I preferred to see clients that have found and read my profile themselves before contacting me he funnily enough found my AW profile within seconds.
He then rang and went into some story about how he had booked his regular for Wednesday but she was crap and could he see me instead..I think my TW radar was working right the minute he used 'Amateur punter'! ;D

Poor moron so he's an amateur but has a regular... lol aren't they sometimes just ridiculous ffs...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 31 October 2016, 06:53:58 pm
Quote from: Gizzi on 31 October 2016, 10:40:58 am

He's still at it, from a new account set up at 10.19hrs today. He has way too much time on his hands!


[quote fixed]

Bastard I thought he loved me, how dare he message other sex workers lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Bentley on 01 November 2016, 02:02:18 am
Him.. 'Is this a prostitute?'
Me.. 'Excuse me'
Him.. Im coming over now. I just want to stick a cucumber in your ass then cum on your face for an hour. Since its a cucumber not my dick im not paying full rate'
Me. WTF. NO
Him.. Can my mate come and watch?
Me.. Hangs up

He texts 5mins later asking why i havent sent him the address!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 01 November 2016, 08:20:12 am
Quote from: Miss Bentley on 01 November 2016, 02:02:18 am
Him.. 'Is this a prostitute?'
Me.. 'Excuse me'
Him.. Im coming over now. I just want to stick a cucumber in your ass then cum on your face for an hour. Since its a cucumber not my dick im not paying full rate'
Me. WTF. NO
Him.. Can my mate come and watch?
Me.. Hangs up

He texts 5mins later asking why i havent sent him the address!!!

Feck that I would charge more for the cucumber  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 01 November 2016, 09:55:17 am
Quote from: Miss Bentley on 01 November 2016, 02:02:18 am
Him.. 'Is this a prostitute?'
Me.. 'Excuse me'
Him.. Im coming over now. I just want to stick a cucumber in your ass then cum on your face for an hour. Since its a cucumber not my dick im not paying full rate'
Me. WTF. NO
Him.. Can my mate come and watch?
Me.. Hangs up

He texts 5mins later asking why i havent sent him the address!!!
I'd have hung up straight after his first question and listed him in my phone so I don't answer his call again.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 01 November 2016, 11:04:26 am
I once had a bloke ring and tell me he wanted a whore for the evening.I said I beg your pardon!?! He repeated himself but less cocky second time and I just said yes that's what I thought you said and I put the phone down.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 03 November 2016, 02:15:24 pm
Text I want you to come squirt on me whilst my wife is at work

Given the circumstances I'm currently dealing with he's lucky I didn't find out who he was, then offer him a medieval punishment such as hanging, drawing and quartering....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 03 November 2016, 03:57:22 pm
When a guy calls saying he read my profile and he just *loves* it.
Then he asks about my age...
Then about where I am from...
Then about my size...
Then he says he would like a 30' relaxed and unrushed GFE and he wants to be sure he will get his FULL TIME... :FF :FF :FF

For fuck's sake why didn't I just hang up? He ruined my mood.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 03 November 2016, 07:01:14 pm
Wtf are all the wierdos out post Halloween?

Email asking for availability.......I send my general info.........Next emails:

OK hun do u offer a quick bj services  x    ermm I clearly state minimum 1 HOUR!!! so I don't respond then another email

hi hun would u mind giving me a bath x

What the fuck is wrong with these guys?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 04 November 2016, 01:30:18 pm
Another bloody essay  :FF

Quote
"[my tagline]"......Mmmm!

Well! With an opening like THAT! It's no wonder I had you saved in my Hotlist sometime ago. Lol! But there were some other attributes about you that sealed the deal! ?..Wink! Wink! &#128521;

Why! Excuse my manners. Hi! I'm xxx and feel like I have died and gone to heaven.
You look and sound like my perfect woman in Every way. Your Highly Alluring! Sexy Sensual and Erotic demeanour has me captivated and  mesmerised. But apart from your very sexy shapely body, its our mutual love and attraction of nylon stockings, or even Better! Nylon Tights!.... I spent some time perusing Sexy, Erotic, Raunchy pics! and vids!  Well! You Hit the spot. You've made me Very Horny indeed.Add to that the involuntary twitching that I'm experiencing. ....Mmmm!   I'm pretty sure you can get me to do things that I haven't even dreamed of?... Wink! Wink!.. Lol!

I'm a discrete, trustworthy, very hygienic, respectable gent with  a Naughty! But Very Very Nice side. A Horny Lil Devil! In the Right company. Lol!  But my biggest turn on is women in nylon/opaque stockings or better nylon / opaque  Knickerless Tights! .......Man drives me Wild! And may I say. You look absolutely sexy as hell in....Mmmm! I love being teased or seduced  (intentionally or unintentionally ) as a women sits opposite maybe on a train, office waiting room, restaurant, home setting (the list goes on ) as she slowly crosses and uncrosses her sexy nylon clad legs so that her dress rides up over her shapely thighs, giving me a sneaky upskirt view of the gems that lies beneath?...Or maybe you are bending over to look for or pick something up.  As you do so, I get a glimpse if your dress/ skirt gliding up over the back of your sexy stocking /tights adorned legs, and continue riding up over your voluptuous curvy derrier! ....Mmmmm! The thought. I have a thing for womens pretty painted toes also. So sitting crossed legged and dangling her shoe or wearing peep toe heels is another thing that sends me Crazy! Ps.(You have beautiful feet also! Among other things?  Wink! Wink!)
I love roleplay and most definitely love your vids. Right up my street. Their just the type of scenarios I like. I love the ones  with you being caught wanking then fucked in your tights. You playing with yourself through your tights getting aroused and very wet! But I particularly love the hotel manager one! I'd love to do something like that with you or even more raunchy.? But the idea of seeing you in tights, heels figure hugging or any dress of your liking with no bra!. (I do like seeing the shape of natural tits and Nipples through a woman's garments. Also gives an indication of how turned on they maybe among other things. ?) BIG turn on and has me thinking if so many scenarios qe can indulfe in?...Mmmmm!!
I'd love the idea of scenario similar to that and being able to pull up your dress or skirt to reveal your knickerless tights and then??....... Well you tell me what you would like to happen next?.....Wink! Wink!

From your profile  I see you will be touring in London next week. (Christmas has definitely cum early. Lol!)  Well I would love the oppurtunity to indulge in your Decadent! Unadulterated! Erotic delights! Making some of my raunchy fantasies become realities.

So if I've stirred a lil ounce of intrigue in you (and I really hope I have) please get back to me so we can arrange a time and possibly discuss details of our meet further. I most definitely don't want to miss you.
So please get back to me at your convenience and we can take it from there.

Feel free to contact me on my mobile:- xxx if you don't get through just leave a message or text saying who you are (I will definitely remember you :0 ) and I'll get back to you as soon as I'm free to do so.

I do hope I've passed your vetting process Lol! .. Very much look forward to hearing from you soon.

I Eagerly Await!

My reply:

Thanks for your email. You can arrange an appointment for next week by using the AW booking system.

100% certain he will never book, since his literary outpourings give him all the stimulation he'll ever need  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 04 November 2016, 04:20:18 pm
This idiot has tried to book me 4 times. Twice he's asked for a quickie and I've said OK, ?50 and its not full service. He's then said oh please do full service, and BTW I've only got ?40 on me. Obviously I've refused. He phoned again today asking for half an hour, now he's texted me saying he's at the station, oh but could I do a full service quickie for ?40. Just sent him this

You've never had 15 mins with me, because you've made an excuse every time that you don't have enough cash. What do you even get out if this? Are you just masturbating over the idea of finding a sex worker who's so desperate to pay her rent that she'll accept your haggling? Because if so, you need help.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 04 November 2016, 04:29:33 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 04 November 2016, 04:20:18 pm
This idiot has tried to book me 4 times. Twice he's asked for a quickie and I've said OK, ?50 and its not full service. He's then said oh please do full service, and BTW I've only got ?40 on me. Obviously I've refused. He phoned again today asking for half an hour, now he's texted me saying he's at the station, oh but could I do a full service quickie for ?40. Just sent him this

You've never had 15 mins with me, because you've made an excuse every time that you don't have enough cash. What do you even get out if this? Are you just masturbating over the idea of finding a sex worker who's so desperate to pay her rent that she'll accept your haggling? Because if so, you need help.

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 04 November 2016, 04:46:47 pm
By mail at midnight , these are just the bullet points of the exchange ...

Him : do you have any availability today during the day
Me  : yes I have , I am available at 11am , or after 3pm
Him : Great , I can't wait to meet you , I'm thinking of 12.30 .

Now which part of 11am or after 3pm he couldn't manage to comprehend  is behond me .... After a few more sentence we agreed  on 5pm . But of course like 99% of inquiries made in the middle of the night he failed to place the booking as requested and  I didn't hear back  from him  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 04 November 2016, 04:55:26 pm
VC...not sure (wink wink) why you would not want to see that man (mmmmmm!)

He sounds (mmmmm!) great! (wink wink!).

FFS.

hahahahaaaaa IRRITATING AS HELL.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 04 November 2016, 09:47:18 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 04 November 2016, 01:30:18 pm
Another bloody essay  :FF

My reply:

Thanks for your email. You can arrange an appointment for next week by using the AW booking system.

100% certain he will never book, since his literary outpourings give him all the stimulation he'll ever need  ::)

Any man that refers to himself as 'a horny lil devil' wants shooting IMO  ;D :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 04 November 2016, 10:44:30 pm
This morning a poor sad moron simply texted me an...address  :FF

Followed by (5 min later) : "outcall" without question mark ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BlaqHarlot on 05 November 2016, 01:28:43 am
Earlier today

"hi I wanna book you this eve but I have my two kids for the weekend. I can put em in the other room and put the telly on and we can fuck downstairs?"

Wow! Blocked!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 05 November 2016, 05:13:45 pm
Quote from: DesignerWhore on 05 November 2016, 01:28:43 am
Earlier today

"hi I wanna book you this eve but I have my two kids for the weekend. I can put em in the other room and put the telly on and we can fuck downstairs?"

Wow! Blocked!

I would have had to reply 'no thanks Super Dad'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 05 November 2016, 10:05:28 pm
By text a few minutes ago:

"I am alone in my motel room on m61 and the bed is big..."

Yayyyy David Lynch is texting me!!! That's just awesome!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 06 November 2016, 12:02:45 am
Quote
Hi.

I am a 43yo married guy in a sexless marriage and I want a spark back in my life with someone who knows the meaning of discretion (hence why I looked on here) Had an account here years back but it seems to have expired.

I am not looking to set up a one off meeting as a client but more of an ongoing FWB relationship where I will treat you to gifts each time I visit.

I have an online account with very.co.uk and I would like to treat you from there (plus other online/high street shopping)

I can't meet up very often due to my home life, but if we could spend 2 or 3hrs together every couple of months, I would get you to send me details of goods you wish to the value of ?200 - ?250 which I would order and bring with me to our meet.

I would also pay for any expenses occured, or if you wished for any food/drink during our time spent together.

This is a 100% genuine message and if you are interested at all then get back to me and we can discuss the details.

If it's of no interest, then thanks very much for reading anyway.

Xxx
 

Um. Bring cash, asshat.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 06 November 2016, 01:00:54 am
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 05 November 2016, 10:05:28 pm
By text a few minutes ago:

"I am alone in my motel room on m61 and the bed is big..."

Yayyyy David Lynch is texting me!!! That's just awesome!!!!
Don't you just get the urge to reply with 'That's nice...(said in the style of Mrs Brown'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 06 November 2016, 11:22:09 pm
Text received

Hi darling what's the final price for 1 hour service sweet.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: francheska_xx on 07 November 2016, 01:00:39 am
So I'm a domme and it's literally written all over my profile. I do not offer sex or sexual services.

Today I have had someone request for me to 'grow my leg hair especially long for a couple of weeks so he can worship them for half a precious hour'

And another cum splash ask me for deepthroat anal and rough sex

Oh yes and another asking 'do you fart every time you go for a poo? It really turns me on the thought of you doing that before I taste you sweet defecation'

I'm into fetish but these people are either joking wasting my time or just bat shit crazy!!!

This week has been draining to say the least!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 07 November 2016, 02:31:15 am
Quote from: mature helen on 06 November 2016, 11:22:09 pm
Text received

Hi darling what's the final price for 1 hour service sweet.

I would have texted back with double my rate. Then blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 07 November 2016, 06:30:36 am
Had someone the other day ask for a booking to an area 20 minutes drive from Glasgow city centre. Turned it down because it was outside the area I cover.

The guy then offered to pick me up but then went on to say would need a discount for the cost of fuel, said I wouldn't discount a 30 min booking but could maybe discount 10-20 of a 1hr booking (I wouldn't have as he had the cheek to expect a discount).

Then went on to say he could do 1hr for ?70 (which is half my 1hr rate and 10 less than my 30 minutes rate) after fuel deduction . He got told were to go then.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 07 November 2016, 12:35:06 pm
Guy called and asked about an hour service, towards the end of the conversation he asked if I could wear some specific lingerie, eyes rolling I asked him what he wanted and he said 'Do you have any Gossard bras?' I thought for a moment then said no I don't he then asked 'Do you have any bras with 2 little holes in the back'? Again I said no then he then said 'I'll call you back later' I won't hold my breath.
I've heard of clothing requests but nothing as specific as the brand of a bra that's a new one on me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 07 November 2016, 01:24:58 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 07 November 2016, 12:35:06 pm
Guy called and asked about an hour service, towards the end of the conversation he asked if I could wear some specific lingerie, eyes rolling I asked him what he wanted and he said 'Do you have any Gossard bras?' I thought for a moment then said no I don't he then asked 'Do you have any bras with 2 little holes in the back'? Again I said no then he then said 'I'll call you back later' I won't hold my breath.
I've heard of clothing requests but nothing as specific as the brand of a bra that's a new one on me.


I think sometimes time wasters ask for exact specific items just as an excuse to get out of the booking...I've often said when asked for obscure things that they're welcome to bring me their 'outfit of choice' and I'll be happy to wear it... A few have done.


Another thing is sometimes they don't even know what the item they're asking for actually is, for example when I've been asked to wear 'super sheer stockings' or 'nylons' they've been 'amazed' that I followed their orders without realising that all I was wearing was ?2 Primark hold ups!!  (well they are shiny and made of nylon haha)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 07 November 2016, 02:05:14 pm
Quote from: katrina on 07 November 2016, 01:24:58 pm

I think sometimes time wasters ask for exact specific items just as an excuse to get out of the booking...I've often said when asked for obscure things that they're welcome to bring me their 'outfit of choice' and I'll be happy to wear it... A few have done.

Yes, I get this feeling quite often. Like they're just looking for a fault so they can tell themselves "I wanted to go through with it, but she just couldn't meet my requirements." Rather than admitting to themselves that they bottled it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luciexx on 07 November 2016, 06:50:36 pm
ru free today? via text from someone, who sent me booking requests a few times to no avail. He seems to ask whenever I am not free (as stated over my profile). I wish I could see how many booking forms he sent off to other escorts as he has zero rating.   ???

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 07 November 2016, 07:46:49 pm
Text at 2am:

"and wot do you get for an hour x"

(This is apropos of no prior conversation at all by either text, phone or email.)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 08 November 2016, 12:37:36 pm
Email on aw.

Hello Goddess, let me be your plaything please! How do I earn the right to your company Goddess?

Ring me, turn up, pay, simple!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 08 November 2016, 02:01:08 pm
Unknown number. I tell him this and he says, oh right, yeah, I'm staying at my other halfs sisters. They have gone out so I'm calling from her number.
OH PLEEEEEEEEAZE!  ::)  ::)  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 08 November 2016, 05:47:47 pm
Idiot who has been texting me the same boring words for literally about 5 years...

Idiot: Is this Kat?

Me: No its Fred Bloggs

Idiot: Hi I saw you on aw, looking to make a booking

Me: Call to book


Surprise surprise he didn't call or reply.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 09 November 2016, 01:42:45 am
have a fantasy....you leave the door ajar....i walk in ....and your naked except for knee high boots.. Your playing withyourself....dont speak...just stand up, drop to your knees, unzip me and suck?....would you be able to do this or would you change anything??

 ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 09 November 2016, 08:28:34 am
Quote from: hannah13 on 09 November 2016, 01:42:45 am
have a fantasy....you leave the door ajar....i walk in ....and your naked except for knee high boots.. Your playing withyourself....dont speak...just stand up, drop to your knees, unzip me and suck?....would you be able to do this or would you change anything??

 ::) ::)

Id have to reply to that with just:
*you're
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luciexx on 09 November 2016, 09:11:25 pm
If you don't want to see me in your free time (to give him free sex), have my money and you drop your pants and open your legs.   This was after I told him I would not see him again.  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 09 November 2016, 09:22:18 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 09 November 2016, 01:42:45 am
have a fantasy....you leave the door ajar....i walk in ....and your naked except for knee high boots.. Your playing withyourself....dont speak...just stand up, drop to your knees, unzip me and suck?....would you be able to do this or would you change anything??

 ::) ::)

Candles. I would put plenty of candles leading all the way from the door to your bed.
Tested and approved on one of my boyfriend's. It was awesome.

As for your client tell him the thing you would change is just HIM ffs
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 10 November 2016, 02:41:44 am
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 09 November 2016, 08:28:34 am
Id have to reply to that with just:
*you're

 ;D ;D As an avid writer, that was the part that annoyed me most!  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: loubyloo on 10 November 2016, 06:53:16 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 07 November 2016, 12:35:06 pm
Guy called and asked about an hour service, towards the end of the conversation he asked if I could wear some specific lingerie, eyes rolling I asked him what he wanted and he said 'Do you have any Gossard bras?' I thought for a moment then said no I don't he then asked 'Do you have any bras with 2 little holes in the back'? Again I said no then he then said 'I'll call you back later' I won't hold my breath.
I've heard of clothing requests but nothing as specific as the brand of a bra that's a new one on me.

I had this guy call me up with the same request and he even sent a photo of the unsexiest bra I've ever seen!! Haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 11 November 2016, 02:42:26 pm
Just got sent this;

Hi Kate,

I have seen you a few times and near your area today and would love to see you again for half hour.

I do not a phone I can use to call you though so was hoping we could book something just over AW ?

I know you are just behind the station but saw you a few times at hotels.

G x


No feedback and profile only created today, 3 mins before he sent the message!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissSJ on 11 November 2016, 03:39:44 pm
Just got this text....

'Hey, 26.m.uk are you free tonight?
Love to suck your toes x'

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lulu7 on 11 November 2016, 05:01:57 pm
I have this "enemy" escort who hates me and has repeatedly tried many different things to get clients to stop seeing me/Would get her clients to harass me.


Idiot: "I'll give you ?1000 for a 1 hour booking"
Me: "no thanks"

Idiot "fine you rude bitch I'll just go and book your enemy."

Me: (laughing) I'm not sure if my enemy is going to appreciate that the only reason you booked her is because I refused to see you but go ahead, enjoy her.:)

Idiot: you crazy bitch.

I nearly wet my pants because this isn't the first time that a client has been refused by me and then used her as a second option so I can only imagine how impressed she'll be by this latest one.
 I have no idea why some men are so stupid. Do they really think anyone is going to enjoy being second choice to someone they hate????  ::)
 if I turned him down does he really think I'll care if anyone else gets his "money". God give me strength

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 11 November 2016, 07:27:16 pm
I've just been asked if I'm house trained  :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 11 November 2016, 07:29:48 pm
I've literally never had a greater urge to shit on someone's carpet
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sexymilf on 11 November 2016, 07:36:52 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 11 November 2016, 07:29:48 pm
I've literally never had a greater urge to shit on someone's carpet

Lol thats so fucking funny xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 11 November 2016, 10:00:20 pm
Thank you SexyMilf, was raging but you have made me see the funny side  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 12 November 2016, 11:12:15 am
Quote from: Hadley on 11 November 2016, 07:29:48 pm
I've literally never had a greater urge to shit on someone's carpet

I can just picture bending over and leaving a pile there like "Oh I lied about being house trained" the sad thing is that as gross as it sounds some clients I've seen would probably put it in a jar and keep it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 14 November 2016, 12:29:50 pm
Just received an email..


Wondered if you would like to help out with a fantasy..

Many years ago I had a friend and she always wore sexy high heel boots. I always used to sneak a look at her boots when ever she visited. One day she caught me looking and offered to take me upstairs where she would pose in every pair and let me film it so I could look at them whenever I like..

She also said she would dominate me with every pair after the filming, making me lick them and mouth fucking me by inserting the toe of each pair into my mouth and pumping in and out. She also said she would repeatedly wank my cock off under her boots....

Unfortunately I was embarrassed and never took her up on it pretending she had It wrong. Really wish I had now.

Wondered if you would be interested as per below.

You greet me at the door wearing business type trousers with high heel boots underneath. We sit on the sofa and you catch me trying to discretely look at your boots. You tease me a bit by moving your boots around in a provocative manner.

You then ask me what I am doing and question if I have a shoe/boot fetish. I deny it but you tell me you are going to take me upstairs to pose in every pair and let me film it so I could look at them whenever I like..

After the filming you dominate me by forcing me to clean them all with wet wipes. Once clean you restrain me in front of you whilst you sit above me and pour oil onto the toe of the shoe or boot before guiding it into my mouth.

You then pump in and out, fucking my mouth with the toe part of the shoe/boot. You periodically punish me by sliding the shoe/boot our to jab my face before sliding it back in for more mouth fucking.

In addition to this you repeatedly pump my cock between and under your oily footwear refusing to stop until I cum....

Repeating this cycle of punishment and keeping me at the mercy of your sexy shoes and boots for the remainder of the session. Using as many pairs as you can to fuck my mouth and cock during the session.

Do you have a large collection of closed toe high heel shoes and boots for this type of session. I have 5 really sexy pairs of boots I can bring in size 6 if u like.

If you think you could provide this type of role play please confirm availability for tomorrow morning

Hope to hear from you soon.

Sent him an email back..

As I don't offer role play/uniforms/humiliation/domination/filming I can only assume you have sent this to the wrong escort.

Helen.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 14 November 2016, 02:36:49 pm
Phone call

Him...How much?
Me....What for?
Him..Hardsports how much?
Me...I don't do it
Him..Watersports?
Me..I don't do it
Him..Rimming?
Me...I don't do it.
Him...(exasperated)Well what DO you do?
Me...(pissed off) This!...CLICK!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sexymilf on 14 November 2016, 02:38:50 pm
Quote from: Hadley on 11 November 2016, 10:00:20 pm
Thank you SexyMilf, was raging but you have made me see the funny side  :)
[/quote

You have to see the funny side in this job or we wld end up in a straight jacket xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sashaan on 14 November 2016, 02:46:05 pm
email:
ASAP. Pls.

I guess it's a sexual emergency
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 14 November 2016, 02:58:05 pm
I seem to be on a roll today...

Email from a 20 year old with a 4 day old AW profile..

Hello babe how are you. Would you be interested in meeting for a fuck. I am from Northern Ireland but I'm over here for a few days on a short stay if interested let me know and you can come feel this Irish warm cock baby&#10084;
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ScottishSexpot on 14 November 2016, 07:03:20 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 14 November 2016, 02:58:05 pm
I seem to be on a roll today...

Email from a 20 year old with a 4 day old AW profile..

Hello babe how are you. Would you be interested in meeting for a fuck. I am from Northern Ireland but I'm over here for a few days on a short stay if interested let me know and you can come feel this Irish warm cock baby&#10084;

70% of all Irish guys that I've had contacting me have all came to zilch and funnily enuff a long-term AW user mate of mine actually said to me (at the start of my becomimg an Indy) that for some reason Irish guys are the BIGGEST TW's of all; well for her anyway, and I'm starting to see what she means....Aarrgh
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sexymilf on 14 November 2016, 07:28:24 pm
I had an irish guy before asking if i woud take his snide perfume as payment for a booking!!  Needless to say i blocked him x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ScottishSexpot on 14 November 2016, 07:53:51 pm
Quote from: Sexymilf on 14 November 2016, 07:28:24 pm
I had an irish guy before asking if i woud take his snide perfume as payment for a booking!!  Needless to say i blocked him x
Yep the majority of Irish are definite..... 🤔🤔🤔 Timewasters x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 14 November 2016, 08:05:43 pm
Quote from: ScottishSexpot on 14 November 2016, 07:53:51 pm
Yep the majority of Irish are definite..... 🤔🤔🤔 Timewasters x

I Wonder why. I love the civvy Irish. Such lovely people.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 14 November 2016, 09:41:58 pm
Quote from: ScottishSexpot on 14 November 2016, 07:03:20 pm
70% of all Irish guys that I've had contacting me have all came to zilch and funnily enuff a long-term AW user mate of mine actually said to me (at the start of my becomimg an Indy) that for some reason Irish guys are the BIGGEST TW's of all; well for her anyway, and I'm starting to see what she means....Aarrgh


I'd move that up to 90%!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 14 November 2016, 09:44:53 pm
An email received today:

"Hi looking for quickie Sheffield area thansk"




So he's not fussed who or whats on offer as long as its in the area and quick lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 14 November 2016, 09:47:37 pm
Yep, I'd agree about Irish TWs, but the couple I have seen have been lovely.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 14 November 2016, 10:33:53 pm
The only Irish person to ever book was a no show. Looking back he did try to go on a bit about what he wanted me to wear, etc and all he got was a that's fine I'll see you at such and such time. No cancelation, just didn't show. Luckily a regular text me saying he was in the area. I text the guy when he was five minutes late saying if he didn't contact in the next two minutes I will have to give his booking to someone else. It felt good to let him know he hadn't completely wasted my time because I was ready for my regular

X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 14 November 2016, 10:43:43 pm
My silliest call today happened to be Irish.He wanted me to visit his parked up truck in Ferrybridge...um nooo!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 14 November 2016, 11:43:29 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 14 November 2016, 02:58:05 pm
I seem to be on a roll today...

Email from a 20 year old with a 4 day old AW profile..

Hello babe how are you. Would you be interested in meeting for a fuck. I am from Northern Ireland but I'm over here for a few days on a short stay if interested let me know and you can come feel this Irish warm cock baby&#10084;


I got that one the other day!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: loubyloo on 15 November 2016, 09:35:35 am
Text this morning,
Hi if I book you, do you mind if I stink of smoke as I'll be having a fag before I come in?

Oh the romance of them.......
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 15 November 2016, 10:40:53 am
Text received today

Hi there. I am English (black with a big fucking dick) I Like to give white mature big breasted women as much Length as they want, my name is Jackson 'nickname' ! Ask me why if you like. can fuck you slow, deep - or really bang ram slam and pound you ! Or you can get up on my tool , and ride it ! I also like to give titty fucks. You up for a meet x ??

Previous similar texts have told me his name is Mick, aged 47 and 5' 3" he has also said he is white, he's sent me dick pics in the past full of self admiration for his 'huge dick' I suppose when a man is only 5ft 3ins 4-5 inches would look big  ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 15 November 2016, 10:43:19 am
Ah yes I remember Mick he sent me a spate of texts exactly the same!I'll look forward to this next round of silliness!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 16 November 2016, 08:56:17 pm
Quote from: loubyloo on 15 November 2016, 09:35:35 am
Text this morning,
Hi if I book you, do you mind if I stink of smoke as I'll be having a fag before I come in?

Oh the romance of them.......


Its all glamour and glitz this job innit lmao 


At least he gave a bit of warning, nobody has ever said to me before the booking "By the way my cock stinks as I last washed it 2 days ago, you don't mind do you" lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 16 November 2016, 11:04:00 pm
Text:
"can a send mr post code"

My reply:
Sorry, Mr Postcode isn't at this number.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 16 November 2016, 11:17:27 pm
Quote from: katrina on 16 November 2016, 08:56:17 pm

Its all glamour and glitz this job innit lmao 


At least he gave a bit of warning, nobody has ever said to me before the booking "By the way my cock stinks as I last washed it 2 days ago, you don't mind do you" lol
I'd have replied with 'Yes that's fine as long as you don't mind that I won't be kissing you or going anywhere near your faggy  breath.You don't mind do you?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 17 November 2016, 10:38:53 am
This by email now:


Hi I'm looking to book you very soon, I would like to book you for a full week. for the full week I would like to have you as my wife for the week. we would play husband and wife, we would do everything together durning our time would like to see you dress like a princess durning the day and a naughty slut in the evening. this will take place in my new built house in Warrington, could you please quote me on this service please.

So I would be running around an empty house dressed up as Frozen? Fuck I'd rather be Pocahontas, what should I reply???
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 17 November 2016, 11:20:53 am
Quote
I would like to have you as my wife for the week. we would play husband and wife, we would do everything together durning our time

So you're going to spend a week nagging him about skidmarks in the loo and having bitter arguments in Ikea? Can't wait!  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 17 November 2016, 11:35:51 am
The fantasists are some of my favourites lol, I imagine in his mind it plays out that in that week he manages to make you fall in love with him and you'll live happily ever after with him saving you from the evil life of prostitution.

Oh and he gets all that sex for free because I also imagine he thinks he pays at the end of everything and you'll just let him off because you want to get married. Of course in a sensible mind it sounds like he's imprisoning you in his home lol.

I also love when they say things like "I'm thinking of booking you soon" it translates to "I am never going to book you but I am going to bombard you with long winded emails while I wank"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 17 November 2016, 12:09:57 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 17 November 2016, 11:35:51 am


I also love when they say things like "I'm thinking of booking you soon" it translates to "I am never going to book you but I am going to bombard you with long winded emails while I wank"


Yes I've just had one "How much notice do you need?" I felt like saying how long is a piece of string *rolls eyes* I said well if you don't know when you can make it you can just call on the day and if not already booked I'll be happy to see you. He said he didn't want to book and then have to cancel as he would hate to waste my time....  He then proceeded to ask about what services I don't do, so I suggested he let me know what he's looking for and I can say yes or no. Turns out he wants anal and owl. I told him to read my profile then just call when he's ready to book.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 17 November 2016, 12:39:38 pm
Quote from: katrina on 17 November 2016, 12:09:57 pm
Turns out he wants anal and owl.

To be fair, performing anal with an owl on your shoulder would be fucking awesome  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 17 November 2016, 12:40:35 pm
Quote from: loubyloo on 10 November 2016, 06:53:16 pm
I had this guy call me up with the same request and he even sent a photo of the unsexiest bra I've ever seen!! Haha

This bloke's just phoned me! I had to stifle my giggles!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 17 November 2016, 01:02:22 pm
The idiots are out in force today. Immediately after Gossard Guy I get this:

Him: Hi, my name's X, can you help me with uploading a movie to Adultwork?
Me: I'm not technical support. Why would you phone me?
Him: Well I looked on some forums and then I saw your profile.
Me: So next time I'm having a problem buying something from Amazon, I'll ring you shall I? Because that would make about as much sense as you ringing a prostitute for technical help.
Him: Erm. Haha.
Me: If you want to make a booking, ring me. If you want technical help with something on Adultwork, contact Adultwork.
Him: Well that's me put in my place...
Me: Yes. Goodbye.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 17 November 2016, 02:57:29 pm
Quote from: katrina on 17 November 2016, 12:09:57 pm

Yes I've just had one "How much notice do you need?" I felt like saying how long is a piece of string *rolls eyes* I said well if you don't know when you can make it you can just call on the day and if not already booked I'll be happy to see you. He said he didn't want to book and then have to cancel as he would hate to waste my time....  He then proceeded to ask about what services I don't do, so I suggested he let me know what he's looking for and I can say yes or no. Turns out he wants anal and owl. I told him to read my profile then just call when he's ready to book.

Well his profile says he's 29. So imagine I give him a quote for ONE WEEK of my services then I would suggest he better start saving while thinking :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 17 November 2016, 03:33:02 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 17 November 2016, 12:39:38 pm
To be fair, performing anal with an owl on your shoulder would be fucking awesome  ;D



Yeah I could make a fortune in the circus :-)))



Think I'll have to text him to say the anals fine but I'm struggling to find an owl because I'm never up that late!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 17 November 2016, 03:44:32 pm
Text at stupid a clock,
'Young, hung, male, can arrive in an hour with condoms'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 17 November 2016, 04:21:37 pm
Text just received:    ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 17 November 2016, 04:25:29 pm
Quote from: katrina on 14 November 2016, 09:41:58 pm

I'd move that up to 90%!!

 Ha if you have ever worked in Ireland you can put it up to 98 percent
I started a place on the worse place to work for tw and Ireland was first by a long way
Saying that I loved touring Ireland once I got rid of the 98 percent tw and found the 2 percent genuine guys
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 17 November 2016, 06:52:58 pm
Quote from: katrina on 17 November 2016, 03:33:02 pm


Yeah I could make a fortune in the circus :-)))



Think I'll have to text him to say the anals fine but I'm struggling to find an owl because I'm never up that late!

Thats just ruining Harry Potter for me 😂😂😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 17 November 2016, 07:11:40 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 17 November 2016, 10:38:53 am
This by email now:


Hi I'm looking to book you very soon, I would like to book you for a full week. for the full week I would like to have you as my wife for the week. we would play husband and wife, we would do everything together durning our time would like to see you dress like a princess durning the day and a naughty slut in the evening. this will take place in my new built house in Warrington, could you please quote me on this service please.

So I would be running around an empty house dressed up as Frozen? Fuck I'd rather be Pocahontas, what should I reply???

Just reply that you are a human being and not a fucking sex doll/robot/zomboid.

Men like this disgust me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 17 November 2016, 07:39:07 pm
I'm getting them all today.

hi
have you ever done pee fart and poo for anyone?
just want to watch it
no sex
no dirty things
i am 24 Italian
thanks

You want me to do a shit, but nothing dirty. OHHHHH-KAAAAAY.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 17 November 2016, 07:39:42 pm
Bloke rings as I am literally on my way out and finished for the evening.Asks for this evening and told politely I wasn't available.Asks if I am sure...yes I'm sure thanks.
Feck me he then texts asking me to come to his place he will pay for a taxi!
I couldn't help myself and asked him exactly what difference going to his would make when I don't offer outcalls (he got me off AW so reason for him not to know this) and when I have already told him twice I am not working this evening!
Cheeky twat texts 'Lol...wowww..no need for that' like I'm the one being unreasonable.I texted back 'and no need not to take no for an answer to begin with'.
I really cannot stand pushy twats like that.He will never get a booking from me! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 17 November 2016, 07:40:26 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 17 November 2016, 07:39:07 pm
I'm getting them all today.

hi
have you ever done pee fart and poo for anyone?
just want to watch it
no sex
no dirty things
i am 24 Italian
thanks

You want me to do a shit, but nothing dirty. OHHHHH-KAAAAAY.
That one has been doing the rounds for at least 5 years via email exact same copy and paste job.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 17 November 2016, 09:23:13 pm
I just got a short and sweet 'yo' this morning
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 19 November 2016, 05:15:41 pm
Am new to all this but read your bio and am interested you have whatsapp by any chance ? Wanna get talking x pay day end of month hehe
xxx x

24 hours after:

Hi im all new to this. You have whatsapp or anything i love your bio. Was wondering if we can get talking. I get paid end of this month too and not had a good shag for 5 years so. Am 24 too by the way x

So new his profile is over 2 years old. Yawn.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: rosieroo1 on 19 November 2016, 05:37:42 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 17 November 2016, 07:39:07 pm
I'm getting them all today.

hi
have you ever done pee fart and poo for anyone?
just want to watch it
no sex
no dirty things
i am 24 Italian
thanks

You want me to do a shit, but nothing dirty. OHHHHH-KAAAAAY.
I got the exact same message lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sexyshanti93 on 20 November 2016, 07:33:37 pm
So, this is disturbing but tbh i dont know whether to laugh or cry tbh..

I had a session request of 'Crushing' So i expected it to be fruit or something then this guy comes out with via text 'I want you to crush goldfish with ur feet, I'll pay 350 or more if you agree!'

 ??? ??? ::) :-X :-X :'( :'(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 20 November 2016, 07:34:51 pm
I personally find it disgusting, no matter how much someone paid me I wouldn't crush a living thing for money.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 20 November 2016, 07:35:32 pm
I'd ask him if the poor fish are alive.

ARRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I would be seriously concerned about meeting a human being with such a fetish....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sexyshanti93 on 20 November 2016, 07:36:25 pm
it is, forgot to add, I obvs declined.

Killing a living thing for someone else's amusement.. :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pregnantkinky on 20 November 2016, 07:42:19 pm
Client asked if I see couples,
I ask him how old his girlfriend is, and he tells me she is 16.....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 21 November 2016, 03:25:35 am
Someone I'd seen once before, and was OK - despite asking if he could buy my used knickers - called today and asked if I would do a 20m appointment for 40 quid (I charge 40 for 15m and 60 for 30m). I said no and he really tried to twist my arm. Don't know why but it really hacked me off: is that 5m going to make SO much difference to you, and if so, why not just pay for 30m?  ???

As well as not having the energy to get ready for short booking on an otherwise lazy day, I just envisaged us having some sort of naked Mexican standoff at the 15:01 mark.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 21 November 2016, 08:08:45 am
I had the crushing thing when I first started, he was asking me to crush live chicks though. And had thoughtfully attached a video to the email. I got really upset as I love animals. I put a filter on my Gmail to send any more mails from him to a black hole.

Now I think he may just have been a stupid fantasist who gets a kick out of upsetting people, probably lives for the responses of "OH YOU SICKO" and similar.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sexyshanti93 on 21 November 2016, 09:08:50 am
Oh god PregnantKinky.. ??? ::) :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 21 November 2016, 10:09:51 am
Really don't get the crushing thing, I get all kinds of weird fetish requests in my inbox but at least I can sorta understand them but when it comes to crushing a living animal I just don't get the appeal at all. Heard the stories of videos of people doing this stuff I think I recall somebody getting arrested for it a while back though thankfully nobody has sent me any videos of that stuff.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nora batty on 21 November 2016, 01:06:23 pm
When they book, arrive, then offer less money thinking I can be negotiated down.  Start telling me they here and there's the cash.

Window or door, but there leaving, disrespectful twats. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: francheska_xx on 21 November 2016, 05:56:09 pm
Today I log in to find a very strange email. He has 0 feedback and two aliases who both have sent hundreds of emails and not made a single booking. His name is funtimesyeah111

The email read

Hi there
I'm a young tall guy with a ridiculous sex drive with a pretty big man tool
I have a pretty strong urge and fantasy to get an extraordinarily attractive woman pregnant, judging by your profile I feel you would be an idea candidate.

I'd like to jump to the que and be the first one to connect with your genetic code, I think we should start fucking?
Xx

What is wrong with some people? Obviously it's a troll but still. And I don't even offer sexual services as I'm a domme. Bloody idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pregnantkinky on 21 November 2016, 10:54:19 pm
Just got these emails, xD

HIM: Hi love do you no who the father of your baby is ? Or was it a 1 night stand ? Thanks keel
ME:Sperm donor

HIM: I know you might find this strange but are you looking for a partner or anything?? I would love to provide for you and your baby. I have just had news I will never be a dad. I'm desperate to be a father. Thanks keel x

HIM: I will pay and provide I promise. Would you be interested in meeting up ? I'm deadly serious about this love honestly. x

ME: Maybe go and find a partner on a dating site, not an escort site x

HIM: I do have a partner already. Could I ask how much you paid for a sperm donor please ? Did you go to a company ? X

ME: Went through a clinic, I would research what is best for you two.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pregnantkinky on 21 November 2016, 11:00:02 pm
Just got another email

"Hi would you allow me to find your anus ?"

What does that even mean xD is that a joke because i am pregnant?

Not going to be replied haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 22 November 2016, 06:18:45 am
Having had around 2 hrs sleep from a massive storm here my mood not improved by this barrage of idiotic texts sent at stupid o'clock between midnight & 3am.

Hi babe Are you working today??
How much for 2 hours with you ??
Hi babe Are you available tonorrow ??
Is that you really ??
If it is really you how much for 2 hours with you one night ??
I will give you ?300 for 2 hours if you let me fuck you up your wall with my big cock ???
I will push you across your floor and make you push my balls up your wet pussy and beg me to fuck you harder ?
I am gonna push my cock right to the bottom of your pussy and pound it until you squirt ok ??

I'm so excited. Yawn...he was wasting his time since my phone was of course off...moron.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissSJ on 22 November 2016, 08:12:55 am
Quote from: -EXOTIC-LAILA- on 20 November 2016, 07:33:37 pm
So, this is disturbing but tbh i dont know whether to laugh or cry tbh..

I had a session request of 'Crushing' So i expected it to be fruit or something then this guy comes out with via text 'I want you to crush goldfish with ur feet, I'll pay 350 or more if you agree!'

 ??? ??? ::) :-X :-X :'( :'(

I get these crushing messages all the time.As much as I am a Pro Domme and do what some may view as hugely extreme.I draw the line at live animals.Vile.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 22 November 2016, 08:22:19 am
Quote
I will push you across your floor

Just gives me an image of him mopping the floor with you. What a fucking idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 22 November 2016, 11:06:46 am
Text today.

'Hi Hun, I can be at yours in half hour, wear stockings and leather. You have real leather? I have a huge fetish, lol. Can you text postcode hun'

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kitty_69 on 22 November 2016, 11:28:16 am
Quote from: cassie on 26 August 2009, 11:21:59 pm
I have had a number of weird texts, but this one is still top of the list for me and cracks me up everytime I think of it:

"I'm 16 and in desperate need of a free blowjob."


Made me laugh
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 22 November 2016, 04:55:32 pm
Two days in a row now I've received an Adultwork message from a couple (different profile) and when I go to the site to reply they have deleted their profile - the messages were fairly standard with no world championship winning crap but apparently they're too nervous to wait for a reply?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 22 November 2016, 05:27:27 pm
Quote from: Just An Escort on 22 November 2016, 04:55:32 pm
Two days in a row now I've received an Adultwork message from a couple (different profile) and when I go to the site to reply they have deleted their profile - the messages were fairly standard with no world championship winning crap but apparently they're too nervous to wait for a reply?
I get these emails too, not from couples but guys that send then immediately delete their profile.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 23 November 2016, 09:03:58 am
Text just received:

"Hi there lv I'm andy and lv to wear short skirts, stockings, heels ect maybe we cud hv a baby 2gether wud lv to meet u xx"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 23 November 2016, 10:09:16 am
Quote from: katrina on 23 November 2016, 09:03:58 am
Text just received:

"Hi there lv I'm andy and lv to wear short skirts, stockings, heels ect maybe we cud hv a baby 2gether wud lv to meet u xx"
Wow, where do I sign up?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 23 November 2016, 10:30:01 am
Quote from: katrina on 23 November 2016, 09:03:58 am
Text just received:

"Hi there lv I'm andy and lv to wear short skirts, stockings, heels ect maybe we cud hv a baby 2gether wud lv to meet u xx"
Ha!I got the same one yesterday!I already had him in my phone as a bareback seeker as he had rung me previously sounding quite normal until he asked if I'd do it without a condom!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pregnantkinky on 23 November 2016, 02:02:53 pm
Funniest text I have ever received just happened today!

"Hi im peter could you put me on your kitchen side and season me like im a bit of meat please"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 23 November 2016, 02:17:19 pm
Quote from: Pregnantkinky on 23 November 2016, 02:02:53 pm
Funniest text I have ever received just happened today!

"Hi im peter could you put me on your kitchen side and season me like im a bit of meat please"

I have had something incredibly similar! About a suckling pig or something...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pregnantkinky on 23 November 2016, 02:18:59 pm
I wonder what sort of reacting they are hoping for xD

Quote from: LadyOfTheNight on 23 November 2016, 02:17:19 pm
I have had something incredibly similar! About a suckling pig or something...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 23 November 2016, 02:58:10 pm
Just had this brilliant number on aw.

Hi baby
Do your outcalls in London include the hotel fee? I love the massive tits by the way x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 23 November 2016, 03:58:30 pm
Quote from: Pregnantkinky on 23 November 2016, 02:18:59 pm
I wonder what sort of reacting they are hoping for xD

God knows I always ignore....just found said text from a year ago...

Hi, I don't no if you've ever done splosh or food play but I would like to role play where I am in a date being seduced, massaged but really she is preparing me for being roasted like a suckling pig x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 23 November 2016, 05:54:35 pm
A few months ago I had
"Hi I'm Peter, can you cover me in sundried tomatoes please"
I replied
"Sorry that's a bit too middle class for me, how about Aldi ketchup?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 23 November 2016, 07:58:38 pm
Quote from: LadyOfTheNight on 23 November 2016, 03:58:30 pm
God knows I always ignore....just found said text from a year ago...

Hi, I don't no if you've ever done splosh or food play but I would like to role play where I am in a date being seduced, massaged but really she is preparing me for being roasted like a suckling pig x

I wonder where on earth they get their ideas from? Horror films or something??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 24 November 2016, 12:10:10 pm
Phone call just now:

Dickhead: are you available today?

Me: yes, a minimum of an hours notice subject to availability.

Dickhead: So (my name) is your oral always with a condom or will you do it without?

Me: (sarcastically) as my advert says it's always with a condom then its always with a condom.

Dickhead metaphorically slinks off with his tail between his legs....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 25 November 2016, 11:06:24 am
Just had a call from some idiot asking my rates, said was too much and would I do it for ?20 less.

To put it into perspective I'm in Central London at the moment, he wanted an hours outcall, I charge 140 for an hour.

Was like wtf that is bloody decent price for London.

Then went on to say I was missing out on his penthouse in Canary Wharf lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sexymilf on 25 November 2016, 11:09:51 am
In a penthouse and squabbling over twenty quid. Yeah right!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CallgirlLondon on 25 November 2016, 11:24:49 am
Can I book?

Me - yes sure, what time and how long?

Him - 15 mins, can we shower together

Me sorry no not in fifteen

Him I want to do something special

Me like what?

Tie and tease and a hot shower
Me - I can tie you to the shower and leave you there for 15 that's pretty special!

I'm not in the mood this morning! but he's still texting do not completely put him off!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 25 November 2016, 11:46:40 am
Quote from: CallgirlLondon on 25 November 2016, 11:24:49 am
Can I book?

Me - yes sure, what time and how long?

Him - 15 mins, can we shower together

Me sorry no not in fifteen

Him I want to do something special

Me like what?

Tie and tease and a hot shower
Me - I can tie you to the shower and leave you there for 15 that's pretty special!

I'm not in the mood this morning! but he's still texting do not completely put him off!

I had one yesterday who was 'heading over my way' and seriously thought 10 minutes notice was fine!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pregnantkinky on 25 November 2016, 01:44:01 pm
Haha same Peter for sure

Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 23 November 2016, 05:54:35 pm
A few months ago I had
"Hi I'm Peter, can you cover me in sundried tomatoes please"
I replied
"Sorry that's a bit too middle class for me, how about Aldi ketchup?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 25 November 2016, 05:46:55 pm
Quote from: Sexymilf on 25 November 2016, 11:09:51 am
In a penthouse and squabbling over twenty quid. Yeah right!

That was my thought lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 25 November 2016, 06:14:31 pm
Hi Hannah I'm Matt, could we talk dirty before arranging a meet? Horny now, not sure about meet yet.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 25 November 2016, 06:18:18 pm
Quote from: Pregnantkinky on 23 November 2016, 02:02:53 pm
Funniest text I have ever received just happened today!

"Hi im peter could you put me on your kitchen side and season me like im a bit of meat please"

Shove stuffing up his arse? FFS! Are these men of this planet??
Ask him how long should you cook him in the oven for.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 26 November 2016, 12:48:52 am
Hi I'm a desperate needy lonely lad with no one I'm looking for someone who can use me take all my money off me make me pay for everything and make me kiss there feet pleasure them clean there ass out laugh at me disrespect me an take advantage of me on a weekly pay basis xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 26 November 2016, 05:12:41 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 26 November 2016, 12:48:52 am
Hi I'm a desperate needy lonely lad with no one I'm looking for someone who can use me take all my money off me make me pay for everything and make me kiss there feet pleasure them clean there ass out laugh at me disrespect me an take advantage of me on a weekly pay basis xx

Sounds OK that apart from the omitted bit...

I have one today:

'Can you tell me a bit about yourself? What do you do in your spare time?'

(errrm okaaaaaaaaaaay)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 26 November 2016, 10:25:17 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 26 November 2016, 05:12:41 pm


I have one today:

'Can you tell me a bit about yourself? What do you do in your spare time?'

(errrm okaaaaaaaaaaay)


Did he think he was interviewing you for a job or something?!!


One the other day asked me to tell him 'my biggest secret' !!! That was after he had told me almost his full life story *yawns*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 27 November 2016, 12:56:22 pm
Quote from: katrina on 26 November 2016, 10:25:17 pm

Did he think he was interviewing you for a job or something?!!


One the other day asked me to tell him 'my biggest secret' !!! That was after he had told me almost his full life story *yawns*

I think men like that are cheesy and I hate cheesy false people. Gob shites.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 28 November 2016, 02:32:00 pm
Hi I'm 19 and nervous   
I want to make a booking but can we get to know each other first
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 28 November 2016, 03:02:13 pm
Text today..

Do you swallow cum ropes?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sexymilf on 28 November 2016, 03:09:58 pm
My first text this morning was can you do a bj for 20???  I said my lowest rate is half hour x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 28 November 2016, 06:11:58 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 28 November 2016, 03:02:13 pm
Text today..

Do you swallow cum ropes?

I was just about to put some dinner in my mouth and I logged on here and it sort of stopped half way reading that one.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pregnantkinky on 28 November 2016, 11:02:14 pm
What on earth, never heard that before lol

Quote from: mature helen on 28 November 2016, 03:02:13 pm
Text today..

Do you swallow cum ropes?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 28 November 2016, 11:22:34 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 28 November 2016, 06:11:58 pm
I was just about to put some dinner in my mouth and I logged on here and it sort of stopped half way reading that one.
Nice eh? I get some classy punters texting me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 28 November 2016, 11:23:47 pm
Quote from: Pregnantkinky on 28 November 2016, 11:02:14 pm
What on earth, never heard that before lol
You and me both. I can only imagine what this means.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 28 November 2016, 11:28:00 pm
text received

Hi there my name is Tom I'm 18 and new to this I seen your aw profile and thought wow x

Obviously with men (punters) 'seen' and 'read' are two different things as I have specifically written I don't see anyone under 35.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 28 November 2016, 11:37:53 pm
"Hi minx, i would love to see you for an hour, ,but as i'm a student i'm sure you can understand money is tight.  can we come to some arrangement?"

 :FF

sorry i don't see men who haggle as its disrespectful, may i suggest someone in your price range



"ok, sorry"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sourgrapes on 29 November 2016, 02:09:23 pm
Just had an email request for a hotel visit this evening, from a guy who reckons he's 8 inches, and had a vasectomy. No further response to my question why his vasectomy would be relevant to me, since I have no intention of bare-backing. Bloody new moon.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 29 November 2016, 02:36:42 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 28 November 2016, 11:37:53 pm
"Hi minx, i would love to see you for an hour, ,but as i'm a student i'm sure you can understand money is tight.  can we come to some arrangement?"

 :FF

sorry i don't see men who haggle as its disrespectful, may i suggest someone in your price range



"ok, sorry"

Ugh, I get these clowns almost daily trying this stuff like "Oh but I'm hot and we are a similar age so it's probably easier than having to shag some old guy and it's still money for you" they really don't get that the older guys are much easier because they pay and are reliable a lot of the time, if they can't afford me they should just look elsewhere instead of trying to get my prices down.  People my own age are some of the worst for haggling.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Silencieuse on 29 November 2016, 03:28:41 pm
Quote from: sourgrapes on 29 November 2016, 02:09:23 pm
Just had an email request for a hotel visit this evening, from a guy who reckons he's 8 inches, and had a vasectomy. No further response to my question why his vasectomy would be relevant to me, since I have no intention of bare-backing. Bloody new moon.  :FF

lol at how so many clients think pregnancy is our greatest issue with bareback  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 29 November 2016, 04:52:38 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 28 November 2016, 11:22:34 pm
Nice eh? I get some classy punters texting me.

I googled it:
'giant loads of cum stringing through the air'.

Absolutely gross. Yes, Helen, you aren't arf pulling in the class there hahaha! I'd tell him to sit on my finger and swivel.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 30 November 2016, 08:28:20 am
Quote from: TrashAzn on 29 November 2016, 02:36:42 pm
Ugh, I get these clowns almost daily trying this stuff like "Oh but I'm hot and we are a similar age so it's probably easier than having to shag some old guy and it's still money for you" they really don't get that the older guys are much easier because they pay and are reliable a lot of the time, if they can't afford me they should just look elsewhere instead of trying to get my prices down.  People my own age are some of the worst for haggling.
They probably do the same with everyone regardless of how much anyone charges.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 30 November 2016, 09:16:17 am
Text on my Vivastreet phone:
Him: WHAT YOUR NAME AND AGE
Me: That's listed in my advert...
Him: WHAT YOUR NAME
Me: MY NAME ON ADVERT. ME WOMAN.
Him: SO WE 3 TIME

 ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 30 November 2016, 10:12:21 am
When they text what is my name and age I know it is a timewaster so these days I don't even bother to reply.  They are just getting a kick out of communicating with an escort and have no intention of ever visiting in my opinion.

I have no time to waste on these jokers so ignoring is my strategy from now on!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 30 November 2016, 10:31:19 am
Quote from: Shewolf on 29 November 2016, 04:52:38 pm
I googled it:
'giant loads of cum stringing through the air'.

Absolutely gross. Yes, Helen, you aren't arf pulling in the class there hahaha! I'd tell him to sit on my finger and swivel.
Oh so that's what it is. Again I blame the porn!
We never used to have this bollocks back in my day...lol
No kissing, no OWO, no fingering and RO was an extra.
Punters weren't so kinky back then they just got a back rub, OW and a fuck an that's your lot mate!
BUT they were happy to get that as incall WG's were few and far between...haha.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 30 November 2016, 12:39:26 pm
tet: "are you just slag x"

the x is interesting, like he's trying to appease his insult.  ::) maybe English isn't his first language or he has special needs.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 30 November 2016, 12:59:11 pm
Quote from: Chatterly on 30 November 2016, 12:39:26 pm
tet: "are you just slag x"

the x is interesting, like he's trying to appease his insult.  ::) maybe English isn't his first language or he has special needs.
Could be he wants to know in his own sweet way if you are a slag (give him free sex) or if you are a WG and charge. Whatever he sounds like a numpty.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 30 November 2016, 01:11:51 pm
I'd be tempted to reply "I'm not JUST a slag - I'm also an accomplished pianist!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 30 November 2016, 01:26:08 pm
I just don't bother replying to those jokers who text crap like that.  Life is way too short!  They don't get the time of day my end.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 30 November 2016, 01:49:02 pm
Quote from: Chatterly on 30 November 2016, 12:39:26 pm
tet: "are you just slag x"

the x is interesting, like he's trying to appease his insult.  ::) maybe English isn't his first language or he has special needs.

I got this yesterday. I almost replied with: No, I'm also a whore. But decided against it and just blocked the number lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 30 November 2016, 02:25:31 pm
Why do guys keep pushing when you have politely declined a booking?
Bloke rings up wanting a booking asap starts off with 'What's your best rate for 15 mins and 30 mins?' So not a good start to getting himself booked in.Told him my best rates were on my profile and he replied that he had seen 15 mins for 40..and  asked for 30 mins,so he only read the rate for the cheapest booking I do but wants a 30 min booking!Gave him a chance and started to explain where I was in conjunction to the train station only for him to ask if I work in a safe environment!At this point I decided to not bother with his booking as he didn't sound like he had read anything and probably wouldn't show up anyway.I declined politely only to have him text several times asking for my address and then saying 'Wow!All this because I was new and nervous to all this'
All what?Because I said no to a booking??
New people don't ask what your best rate is,new people generally read your profile and so know that you work from a discreet apartment and new people don't often just ring and give like 10 mins notice!
He didn't sound nervous to me he sounded like a haggling pushy wally who get's silly when he is told no!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 30 November 2016, 02:40:56 pm
We all know there are men who feel entitled to an endless supply of women. These are the guys on dating sites who if you politely reply "Thanks but I don't think we're suited" send you a barrage of abuse like "LOL U FAT COW I ONLY ASKED FOR A JOKE"

So imagine one of those men who is already bitter that women aren't leaping on his dick for free, so decides he's going to pay for it... And gets turned down AGAIN.

The rest is a simple matter of a barrage of hateful texts which will culminate in him having a sad and angry wank in his lonely room  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 30 November 2016, 02:48:45 pm
Call yesterday, after I put my light on in the afternoon ( I hardly ever put it on because of the silly calls etc) I explained it was a girlfriend experience , he asked what I meant so I said "well I'm not a porn star etc"

He didn't seem to know what I was on about so he then said " well you are selling yourself though " so I said " oh for goodness sake TA TA "

Got a text 5 mins later " did you hang up on me ? It was a joke , it's you in your stockings I really want "

So I messaged back " yep but I have two bookings now " ( true) lol
Finished my day off nicely as I'd been busy in the morning , ha ha ha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FellowTraveller on 30 November 2016, 03:36:11 pm
Text sent middle of the night simply saying:

Yo ring me
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 30 November 2016, 03:37:13 pm
Quote from: FellowTraveller on 30 November 2016, 03:36:11 pm
Text sent middle of the night simply saying:

Yo ring me

I tend to reply to those with "No."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 30 November 2016, 03:41:31 pm
Quote from: FellowTraveller on 30 November 2016, 03:36:11 pm
Text sent middle of the night simply saying:

Yo ring me
Oh that's great lol , right up there with "u avail"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 30 November 2016, 03:51:11 pm
Quote from: Guiltypleasure on 30 November 2016, 03:41:31 pm
Oh that's great lol , right up there with "u avail"


Yeah I get loads of them fools in the night.  3am: just a thumbs up sign then a "60 half houre" then a few missed calls a few minutes later...What got me more then anything was the "e" on the end of hour!!! The fucking imbecile lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 30 November 2016, 04:13:35 pm
Ha ha ha Kat , I save them and tell them when they call.
Had one today ,
Him : I'd really like to come and see you today blah blah john
Me : oh I'm busy plus you've changed your name from? Since you last messaged so I don't mind you making up a name at all but I have hundreds of johns so it would be better to have something a little more original.
Him: oh thanks for the tip , maybe we can meet up soon
Me : ok , but fully booked now lol .
Ha ha had an appointment with some tramadol lol ( not recreational lol )
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 30 November 2016, 05:23:39 pm
Text: "Good evening Kat I am a black gent of athletic build c/w six pack over 6 feet high and extremely well endowed 13 inches would you consider meeting with me at your convenience kind regards (his name)"

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seleranda on 30 November 2016, 06:06:53 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 28 November 2016, 02:32:00 pm
Hi I'm 19 and nervous   
I want to make a booking but can we get to know each other first

I don't know if you do social bookings. If you do/did, he could probably not afford both of them - the social and the intimate ones.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FellowTraveller on 30 November 2016, 06:27:23 pm
I seriously got a text saying:

Hi are you open?

These guys have no fucking manners.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 30 November 2016, 06:47:19 pm
Quote from: katrina on 30 November 2016, 05:23:39 pm
Text: "Good evening Kat I am a black gent of athletic build c/w six pack over 6 feet high and extremely well endowed 13 inches would you consider meeting with me at your convenience kind regards (his name)"

This is another one I reply to simply with "No."

I would also bet my car that he's white and has a 5ins cock.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 30 November 2016, 09:08:22 pm
Hi my names? I'm in a hotel in? In naked, rock hard with a cock ring on , fancy joining me ?

Me ..unusual mail? But nope !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 30 November 2016, 09:47:45 pm
'I was wondering if you require any assistance in taking photos or video content for your profile and public & private galleries. I offer my services free of charge, as it's just a hobby and I enjoy working with attractive 40+ women like yourself. I have a creative eye and produce excellent quality material which is yours to do as you see fit with, I don't keep any photo or video footage that I keep, so once edited and passed on to you, you can watch me delete the originals, if you wish to do so. If this is something you may be interested in then please let me know and we can further discuss things'
 
What's his game? Titillation?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissSJ on 30 November 2016, 10:28:16 pm
Text..

"You just need a real man to sort you out"

Um...No.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 30 November 2016, 10:37:33 pm
Quote from: MissSJ on 30 November 2016, 10:28:16 pm
Text..

"You just need a real man to sort you out"


"You could be right. Do you know one?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 01 December 2016, 10:17:56 am
Had an email about a 6 hour appointment in London next weekend, everything seemed fine, until he said that his employers were paying all expenses and would issue a cheque to me which would get to me before the appointment (might arrive but wouldn't be clear).

So they now sound like either a TW or a full on scammer.

But have politely said it's cash transfer only just in case its a newbie who doesn't understand how this business works
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 01 December 2016, 01:23:44 pm
You can pay  ( it used to be a fiver) to get a cheque to clear same day , so then you'd know before if it arrived early , could be handy or not  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 01 December 2016, 01:37:53 pm
Quote from: Guiltypleasure on 01 December 2016, 01:23:44 pm
You can pay  ( it used to be a fiver) to get a cheque to clear same day , so then you'd know before if it arrived early , could be handy or not  :)

Yeah but I need it here and cleared before next Friday to book flights and as its from outside the UK the chances of that are slim

Plus would rather not give out my full name and address
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 01 December 2016, 01:41:54 pm
Oh boo ! Didn't realise , I thought you might of had time to catch him out ( or not hopefully) sorry
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 01 December 2016, 02:01:44 pm
Quote from: Guiltypleasure on 01 December 2016, 01:41:54 pm
Oh boo ! Didn't realise , I thought you might of had time to catch him out ( or not hopefully) sorry

Yeah I'm not sure how quickly it could get here
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 01 December 2016, 02:17:21 pm
Emailed and said I would need it here before hand as I wouldn't make any travel arrangements before hand, so it is up to themselves if they want to take the risk it doesn't arrive on time
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 01 December 2016, 02:26:38 pm
All sounds a bit odd , but then I've had bookings that I've been convinced are t/w s and they haven't been , but cheques a bit odd ...you'll be in a rush if it arrives ! ( don't think it will somehow)  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 01 December 2016, 02:46:47 pm
Quote from: Guiltypleasure on 01 December 2016, 02:26:38 pm
All sounds a bit odd , but then I've had bookings that I've been convinced are t/w s and they haven't been , but cheques a bit odd ...you'll be in a rush if it arrives ! ( don't think it will somehow)  ???

Yeah I mean I've had people fly me abroad and pay my overnight fee + travel and hotel costs who were only wanting 30 minutes/1 hour bookings, so the strangeness of it doesn't bother me, its
Just the timing
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 01 December 2016, 03:19:23 pm
Jesus it's worrying how ignorant some people are about stis!
Had a bloke ask to book then ask if he could rub his cock on my clit I said Yes with a condom on.
He then sounded shocked and asked if it was only with a condom on.I replied yes funnily enough I don't want precum and a bare cock near my bare fanny,haven't you heard of stis?
I suggestes he contact a lady that offers unprotected sex.
He replies with 'I didn't ask for bareback,trust me I don't have any sti'!
Well that's the fecking point you moron why exactly would I trust you?
Are people really that clueless that they think you can't get or give a dose of something without actually coming inside a fanny! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FellowTraveller on 01 December 2016, 03:32:16 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 01 December 2016, 03:19:23 pm
Jesus it's worrying how ignorant some people are about stis!
Had a bloke ask to book then ask if he could rub his cock on my clit I said Yes with a condom on.
He then sounded shocked and asked if it was only with a condom on.I replied yes funnily enough I don't want precum and a bare cock near my bare fanny,haven't you heard of stis?
I suggestes he contact a lady that offers unprotected sex.
He replies with 'I didn't ask for bareback,trust me I don't have any sti'!
Well that's the fecking point you moron why exactly would I trust you?
Are people really that clueless that they think you can't get or give a dose of something without actually coming inside a fanny! :FF

At least he's asked before a booking! I've had guys who wait till the booking to ask so I politely but firmly say I don't do that. Worst are the odd ones who try to do it sneakily during foreplay...err no chance matey.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 01 December 2016, 05:00:52 pm
Emailing today for a booking arranged for next week, his final email.

Great! Will look forward to it, and we can have some sexting leading up to the booking.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 01 December 2016, 06:09:50 pm
Call from a landline
Him...Can I see you later?
Me...Do you have a mobile?
Him...No
Me...Then I can't give you a booking (He sounds like a dork and I don't do evenings anyway)
Him...How much is it?
Me...What's the point I'm not going to see you
Him..How old are you?
Me...Why keep asking me pointless questions?
Him...Because I'm a fucking pervert that's why!
Me..You've got that right!
I put the phone down.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 01 December 2016, 06:29:47 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 01 December 2016, 06:09:50 pm
Call from a landline
Him...Can I see you later?
Me...Do you have a mobile?
Him...No
Me...Then I can't give you a booking (He sounds like a dork and I don't do evenings anyway)
Him...How much is it?
Me...What's the point I'm not going to see you
Him..How old are you?
Me...Why keep asking me pointless questions?
Him...Because I'm a fucking pervert that's why!
Me..You've got that right!
I put the phone down.
At least he was honest! That made me laugh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 02 December 2016, 02:51:46 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 30 November 2016, 06:47:19 pm
This is another one I reply to simply with "No."

I would also bet my car that he's white and has a 5ins cock.


Damn! and there was me getting all excited lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FellowTraveller on 02 December 2016, 05:33:47 pm
I'm losing the will to......work.... phone call just now.

YoungSoundingChav(YSC): yeh are you busy?

Me: Busy what do you mean?

YSC: Yeh are you busy Are you free?

Me:  No I'm very expensive........goodbye.


He sounded extremely young and my ADs all say over 25......and I'm afraid I couldn't resist my last line!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 02 December 2016, 05:57:21 pm
Via email, "Hey have a booking for my boss"

Do people really get their subordinates to make bookings for them?! In any case I wouldn't accept a booking unless it was made by the person planning to attend.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 02 December 2016, 08:12:48 pm
I know I'm clich? here but...
Had a couple of bad days on my tour. Honestly I thought I heard it all today by 6pm. So I'm out for a walk just to try things on (no card, no money on me).
I'm in this nice posh shop trying on a cashmere hat I DO NOT need.
Phone rings. I'm like fuck it pick up.
Moron: is this massage?
Me: no!!!! Its SEX!!!! IM A PROSTITUTE AND HAVE SEX FOR MONEY!!!!
Yeah. I got a few panicked looks.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 02 December 2016, 08:14:40 pm
him on the 18/11 what a body, ur so hot x
him; on the 21/11 what a great body, ur pussy needs licking bby x
him today what great tits you got x

yawn...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FellowTraveller on 02 December 2016, 08:19:19 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 02 December 2016, 08:14:40 pm
him on the 18/11 what a body, ur so hot x
him; on the 21/11 what a great body, ur pussy needs licking bby x
him today what great tits you got x

yawn...

Double even triple yawns....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 02 December 2016, 08:27:00 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 02 December 2016, 08:12:48 pm
I know I'm clich? here but...
Had a couple of bad days on my tour. Honestly I thought I heard it all today by 6pm. So I'm out for a walk just to try things on (no card, no money on me).
I'm in this nice posh shop trying on a cashmere hat I DO NOT need.
Phone rings. I'm like fuck it pick up.
Moron: is this massage?
Me: no!!!! Its SEX!!!! IM A PROSTITUTE AND HAVE SEX FOR MONEY!!!!
Yeah. I got a few panicked looks.

Haha, I accidentally said 'rimming' today in Morrisons.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 02 December 2016, 08:53:47 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 02 December 2016, 08:27:00 pm
Haha, I accidentally said 'rimming' today in Morrisons.

You just said it out loud?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pregnantkinky on 02 December 2016, 11:04:27 pm
Him: Hi bb I have large dick is a problem ?? I have 24"
Me: The bigger the better
Him: I want 4H outcall to my house

Yahh... no thanks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 02 December 2016, 11:28:56 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 02 December 2016, 08:53:47 pm
You just said it out loud?

That would have been great wouldn't it. Just a quick announcement by the broccoli. No, I had an idiot call asking about services.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 03 December 2016, 10:59:40 am
Him; hey how you I seen you long time ago for bareback do you nor still offer that
Me: i dont think you have seen me for bareback!
Him: ok then maybe wrong person then lol
Him: you were full of tattoo
Me: go away its the weekend, last time il say.....iv never offered bb so who ever you have been with is not me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 03 December 2016, 12:20:54 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 02 December 2016, 11:28:56 pm
That would have been great wouldn't it. Just a quick announcement by the broccoli. No, I had an idiot call asking about services.

Sometimes when I am tired or pissed off in general I do say things like that out loud just to put a spin on people's day, especially in stores where posh people shop (adults only of course). I know that's abnormal.

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 03 December 2016, 12:56:42 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 03 December 2016, 10:59:40 am
Him; hey how you I seen you long time ago for bareback do you nor still offer that
Me: i dont think you have seen me for bareback!
Him: ok then maybe wrong person then lol
Him: you were full of tattoo
Me: go away its the weekend, last time il say.....iv never offered bb so who ever you have been with is not me!
This sounds exactly like a bloke that rang me the other week.Told me he hadn't seen me for a long time but that I used to do bareback with him..er I don't bloody think so..!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 03 December 2016, 12:57:53 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 03 December 2016, 12:20:54 pm
Sometimes when I am tired or pissed off in general I do say things like that out loud just to put a spin on people's day, especially in stores where posh people shop (adults only of course). I know that's abnormal.

 ;D

Haha thats something id do or swear alot. :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 03 December 2016, 12:59:23 pm
via text:Do you fuck black guys?
me:I see clients of all ethnicities. I don't see potential clients that send me crude texts like that though.
Him:Wow I blew that one!No darling no disrespect.I do actually know how to behave like a gentleman so please accept my apologies and take care!
What a pity he didn't remember how to behave like a gentleman in the first place eh?Maybe he will remember in future! :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 03 December 2016, 01:05:05 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 03 December 2016, 12:56:42 pm
This sounds exactly like a bloke that rang me the other week.Told me he hadn't seen me for a long time but that I used to do bareback with him..er I don't bloody think so..!

He keeps sending me snarky texts convinced im called nancy  ??? iv had the same work name for the last 12 years and its never been anything remotley like nancy  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 03 December 2016, 02:41:24 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 02 December 2016, 11:28:56 pm
That would have been great wouldn't it. Just a quick announcement by the broccoli. No, I had an idiot call asking about services.

LMAO!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 03 December 2016, 02:46:04 pm
Via AW email a bloke asked if I was working today.I replied and told him to text  a time and length of booking to get this as a reply:
I'm a 52 year old sugar daddy who loves to spoil young busty girls with presents.Tell daddy what you want me to bring you for Christmas..
I replied with:I'm a 37 year old woman and the only person I call daddy is my actual Father..
Paying for Available today always seems to bring out the creeps! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FellowTraveller on 03 December 2016, 07:04:40 pm
Someone who texted regarding availability around 2pm I text back general info, 4 hours later I get this ridiculousness!

Hey X, thanks for getting back to me. I'm afraid I am over the limit to drive to X tonight. I really like the look of your profile and would like to have a chat with you before we meet. Are you around tomorrow during the day at all ?

Thanks

Giles.

Yeh of course I will chat to some drunken asshole who will never book, for free!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 04 December 2016, 03:49:30 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 03 December 2016, 02:46:04 pm
Via AW email a bloke asked if I was working today.I replied and told him to text  a time and length of booking to get this as a reply:
I'm a 52 year old sugar daddy who loves to spoil young busty girls with presents.Tell daddy what you want me to bring you for Christmas..
I replied with:I'm a 37 year old woman and the only person I call daddy is my actual Father..
Paying for Available today always seems to bring out the creeps! ;D

In the end it just translates to "Hello I'm a 52 year old fantasist on the dole who wants to talk about doing all these things with you I can't actually afford."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 04 December 2016, 08:24:34 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 04 December 2016, 03:49:30 pm
In the end it just translates to "Hello I'm a 52 year old fantasist on the dole who wants to talk about doing all these things with you I can't actually afford."

A guy contacted me a while ago on Twitter. He had a nickname that sounded very "wealthy", i could quickly tell he was a skint wanker. He offered me a sugar daddy arrangement and when I asked for details he wanted to pay me with ... one set of lingerie per month hahaha. Thats was just beyond any cheapskate offer I got so far. He was expecting me to TRAVEL to him ffs :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fabulassie on 05 December 2016, 02:44:15 pm
I just joined the "Jungle Book Club!"

Obviously I've ignored him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 05 December 2016, 02:51:02 pm
Quote from: Fabulassie on 05 December 2016, 02:44:15 pm
I just joined the "Jungle Book Club!"

Obviously I've ignored him.


I'm intrigued....


Someone sent me an email earlier today saying he "wanted to let off some steam" Not sure I like the sound of that!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 05 December 2016, 02:57:06 pm
Someone has just text: "Do you fuck outdoors?" I've just replied "No."   but I'm thinking this must be the coldest day of the year in Sheffield what a loon!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 05 December 2016, 06:08:47 pm
Had this posh elderly guy phone (They are always so pervy imo) and then a few days later:

Hi (my working name) Tempt me to ecstasy in (my location)? xx 

If extreme passion is the gateway to supernatural knowledge, then how is that passion created?  Can two strangers set it burning between them?  Or does it need the fuel of mutual affection?  We need practical answers! xxx

*Shudders*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Roxy101 on 05 December 2016, 06:55:10 pm
Quote from: Lone-Wolf on 05 December 2016, 06:08:47 pm
Had this posh elderly guy phone (They are always so pervy imo) and then a few days later:

Hi (my working name) Tempt me to ecstasy in (my location)? xx 

If extreme passion is the gateway to supernatural knowledge, then how is that passion created?  Can two strangers set it burning between them?  Or does it need the fuel of mutual affection?  We need practical answers! xxx

*Shudders*

His name wasn't Andy was it? Sounds very similar to an older gent I saw the other day, haha. He did also send me a, close to, 2000 word message.
X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 05 December 2016, 07:30:05 pm
Quote from: Lone-Wolf on 05 December 2016, 06:08:47 pm

Hi (my working name) Tempt me to ecstasy in (my location)? xx 

If extreme passion is the gateway to supernatural knowledge, then how is that passion created?  Can two strangers set it burning between them?  Or does it need the fuel of mutual affection?  We need practical answers! xxx

Reply to him: 'I think it needs some fire lighter stuff. You can get it at the moment from Morrisons 2 for 1 till end of week so get your zimmer out and get down there and I'll be round to light yer fire!'

TOSS and ER
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 05 December 2016, 08:40:13 pm
Quote from: katrina on 05 December 2016, 02:57:06 pm
Someone has just text: "Do you fuck outdoors?" I've just replied "No."   but I'm thinking this must be the coldest day of the year in Sheffield what a loon!!
[/quote
OMG perfect , "fancy thermals you wimp" Kat !!!!
frigs sake what a donut . Should of asked if he was fat or thin ...."excuse me are you seriously obese"?
"Yes oh ok then"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 05 December 2016, 08:58:46 pm
After agreeing to see tomorrow someone who'd visited once before I received this text.

Brilliant I will cum straight after work (I asked him to call me tomorrow to let me know what time he's planning to arrive but obviously that's been ignored). I am going to a casino after you could come with me if you would like to. I only play the machines but it would be nice to have you sat next to me to bring me luck x x

I can hardly contain myself at the prospect of going out in the freezing cold (for free) to watch him put coins into a one armed bandit all night.
The excitement of an escorts life.
I will be at home all cosy in my PJ's watching TV after 5pm mate!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 05 December 2016, 09:12:09 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 03 December 2016, 02:46:04 pm
Via AW email a bloke asked if I was working today.I replied and told him to text  a time and length of booking to get this as a reply:
I'm a 52 year old sugar daddy who loves to spoil young busty girls with presents.Tell daddy what you want me to bring you for Christmas..
I replied with:I'm a 37 year old woman and the only person I call daddy is my actual Father..
Paying for Available today always seems to bring out the creeps! ;D
Yep , I never , well v rarely do available today, if I do I get them all first thing then the ones I know I get later and I can't fit in.
I keep bloody telling them just call I don't use the light !!! Really drives me nuts ( hazelnuts )
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FellowTraveller on 06 December 2016, 12:44:14 am
Can't sleep, too much coffee.. so check work phone to see this text:

Hi darling ı want come see you whats Your addres

Sent at 11.40 when I make it clear I only work till 9 latest...

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 06 December 2016, 02:03:25 am
Quote from: FellowTraveller on 06 December 2016, 12:44:14 am
Can't sleep, too much coffee.. so check work phone to see this text:

Hi darling ı want come see you whats Your addres

Sent at 11.40 when I make it clear I only work till 9 latest...
I
Same ! Lol I get them at 2am etc but I save them so I can mention when they call again .
Had one call during working hours really a chavvy twat , I'd said no before too young for me so tried to give him a break
Me : so where are you coming fom
Him: why what ?
Me: I'm trying to help you out where roughly are you coming from
Him: what why
Me : look I'm trying to help you you basically where do you live
Him: ok where do you live then ???  ( offish)
Me: I'm trying to help you out here and just find a little out about you
Him : well why can't i book your always busy
Me: ok this isn't working TaTa
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sexymilf on 06 December 2016, 11:44:13 am
I had are you free for a cheeky meet. I said yes. He said what area are you grrr
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: loubyloo on 06 December 2016, 01:50:05 pm
I've had a couple of texts on and off over the last few mths about coming round and having a coffee first to make sure we get on.
He texted again this morning actually making an appt for early evening and when I said
Yes that's fine but you do know you still have to pay for my time , well I've had no reply since!

What a shame. I was so looking forward to having a coffee with a complete stranger for free!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 06 December 2016, 04:35:05 pm
HI.ARE U WORKNING
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 06 December 2016, 06:01:06 pm
Quote from: Sexymilf on 06 December 2016, 11:44:13 am
I had are you free for a cheeky meet. I said yes. He said what area are you grrr

Any guy who uses the word 'cheeky' before anything is an idiot in my book.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sexymilf on 06 December 2016, 07:21:51 pm
I thrt cheeky sounded like a tw too but i went wth it x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 06 December 2016, 07:23:56 pm
Late last night:
Him: You still working

Today:
Him: Can we have sex
Him: what your name and age
Me: If you've got my number then you've seen my profile and know my name and age.
Him: I'm a 25 year old virgin so help me by having sex
Me: Well I'm a miserable old cow with no patience for time wasters, so jog on son.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 06 December 2016, 07:56:10 pm
Quote from: Carla on 29 August 2009, 09:46:46 pm
Send him in my direction- I"ll need something to watch once big brother is over for another year.

One of my most memorable was a lovely request from a gentleman to meet as friends, where I would be pleasured by this obviously very selfless man whose main priority was to give me a good time. How thoughtful of him:

"I'd be more into pleasurin u then anything. U work 2 hard and should be treated special and that's what I'd do 4 u."

followed quickly by:

"I'm hopin we can meet up at a friend level where ur not "workin" it'll make the sex so much more passionate. I'm sure u don't get that much. U should give me a discount seein as I'm more focused in givin u pleasure more then anything else ;)"

After being ignored:

"Uve neva given a discount or had sex 4 free?"

and about three hours later:

"I was just askin werent implyin nuffin I'm def willin 2 spend money on u who wouldn't ur an absolute knock out"

I kept them all because the whole conversation still makes me laugh like a drain. Berk.

Sounds like the donkey who contacted me a while ago
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 06 December 2016, 08:38:27 pm
Sounds like the guy I saw the other night who reckons I 'should be married' and will therefore 'take me out' as it will 'get me out of the house'.

Full of good intentions these guys aren't they.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 06 December 2016, 11:20:56 pm
Moron tries to book today.
Ok. He then texts saying no sex, can I just dance and strip for him.
I reply saying I'm cancelling as I will not dance and strip for him.
Moron then replies in that case could I dance and strip AND give him oral.
Moron gets blocked.
Moron's texts go into my spam all along his explanation about him not wanting sex because he has a girlfriend so he wants to be faithful. And how about I dance AND strip AND we do reverse oral :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 07 December 2016, 07:51:02 am
Email..

Subject header: "Come around"

"What a beautiful workman you are are you free for 3 hours so that I can look after you and feel your warmth close to me, sad I know but it would feel so nice"

First time I've been called a "workman", weird.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luciexx on 07 December 2016, 09:14:00 am
Quote from: loubyloo on 06 December 2016, 01:50:05 pm
I've had a couple of texts on and off over the last few mths about coming round and having a coffee first to make sure we get on.
He texted again this morning actually making an appt for early evening and when I said
Yes that's fine but you do know you still have to pay for my time , well I've had no reply since!

What a shame. I was so looking forward to having a coffee with a complete stranger for free!!!

I have had that.  Maybe, you could post his number and AW nick as the text pest under TW / text pest.  I posted once there. Sounds very, very similar.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 07 December 2016, 11:43:51 am
Quote from: Shewolf on 06 December 2016, 06:01:06 pm
Any guy who uses the word 'cheeky' before anything is an idiot in my book.

I always say that "cheeky" basically translates to "twat". I've never had a good time with anybody who describes themselves as cheeky they just say idiotic things and when you get mad at them it's like "I'm just a bit cheeky!".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Green Carnation on 07 December 2016, 01:40:26 pm
Woke up this morning to a text sent at 1.17am:

'Address. U alone' .......
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 07 December 2016, 02:13:24 pm
Hi which hotel are you staying at?

Thank

Not even a nice introduction yet this idiot has nice feedback. Fool. His aw message went straight to the bin.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Loulou41 on 07 December 2016, 05:24:05 pm
I love this site really makes me chuckle

I've just had a guy on cam asking what's the biggest cock I've ever had? I don't think he liked my reply of, ohhh around 6ft 2" I think x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 07 December 2016, 07:12:02 pm
Same guy who sent , 'I'm laying in bed with a huge hard on and a cock ring on , fancy joining me?
I sent 'nope'

Just sent 'hey I'm staying in a hotel in ? and looking for some fun'
Me: well let's hope you find some then !

I've had a whole heap today prats !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 07 December 2016, 10:24:27 pm
Mail from a 29 years old (I'm owning up to being 44)

"

Hi I'm looking to book you very soon, I would like to book you for a full week. for the full week I would like to have you as my wife for the week. we would play husband and wife, we would do everything together durning our time would like to see you dress like a princess durning the day and a naughty slut in the evening. this will take place in my new built house in Warrington, could you please quote me on this service please. thanks Neil x
 
"

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 07 December 2016, 10:36:41 pm
Oooh I had one like this a while ago , he wanted to pretend to be on honeymoon and me to wear a wedding dress in the evening etc lmfao ...so funny I'm quite a bit older than you lol  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 07 December 2016, 10:41:01 pm
Quote from: Guiltypleasure on 07 December 2016, 07:12:02 pm
Same guy who sent , 'I'm laying in bed with a huge hard on and a cock ring on , fancy joining me?
I sent 'nope'

Just sent 'hey I'm staying in a hotel in ? and looking for some fun'
Me: well let's hope you find some then !

I've had a whole heap today prats !!!
Yep the prat just sent the same again he's called something similar to 10inchgirth but he can't spell girth so it says grith ...I SO want to tell him unless that's his name as in grith Rees jones lol  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 08 December 2016, 10:22:36 am
On AW. Had a nosey at his profile and attempts at photography. Not good!

"I'm Si, I just wanted to get in touch to see if my profile would be of any use to you at all.
I'm just starting out on AW so offering free shoots for a few weeks similar to what I have on my profile. I can also offer video content from 1080HD through to 4K UHD content.

All I'd ask is a few shots for my profile also in return i'd offer you video clips and images for your profile or private gallery. Apologies if this isn't for you and thanks for taking the time to read it.

Thank you"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 08 December 2016, 10:36:38 am
I work until around 7-8 pm ( latest bookings)
11pm last night ( usually phones off)
Called me ..
Irish guy, hi you been busy?
Me. I'm not working now what are you on about
Guy. You been busy? Had a busy day have you?
Me ....oh yes and all my cash is blah blah do you want it ????? ( I'd obviously hung up lol)
Where do they come from???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FellowTraveller on 08 December 2016, 12:49:09 pm
I'm very slim as my pics show so this text is mystifying not to mention disturbing:

Hi mistress I'm very skinny and very weak physically ,and I've always wanted a strong woman to beat me up for real.and to strangle me with her thighs and hands so I can't breath .and smother me.and rape me for real while I try and stop her.is this something you specialize in miss
As you look really strong in your pics ?x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 08 December 2016, 02:38:25 pm
Nothing but oddballs, no hopers and weirdos today  :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tinkerbell on 08 December 2016, 10:38:55 pm
Got this bollocks today....




I am David,

I carry out all types of home maintenance, Specialising in Kitchen and bathrooms.

I have been working for a Few working girls Just lately, as they do not like any old tradesmen, at their property, when they are entertaining. I offer complete discretion at all times. I have been known to pop out for an hour or so, so the girl can take a last minute booking.

I have also been carrying out bits in the bedroom, fitting secure Poles for dancing, Fitting restraints to the walls and floor. I have also made furniture for girls specialising in BDSM.

I do visit working girls myself, So an exchange of services is quite possible.

If any of this is of any interest to you, please contact me via Email: givesmehisemailaddresslikeigiveashit@gmail.com

I do free no obligation quotes.

Regards, David x

Ps, I am a clean white English gentleman 53 years old.

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 08 December 2016, 11:10:31 pm
Messages through adultwork wanting a booking in 20 minutes.  As I've currently got in my profile, I'm moving house so nothing in the flat yet other than my bed and basics. 
I state this and he comes back saying he didn't mind etc, we could just have fun for half an hour.
I reply asking him to call back, but the spidey senses were tingling,

Phone goes.  He has a thick accent but understandable enough with good english.   I ask where he's from and he tells me nigeria.  Dunno why, but I didn't really feel safe when he said that.  Such a weird sensation.  Looking for an excuse not to take the booking I just stated that I was waiting to hear from my security buddy, as I needed them to know when to hear from me if i had taken any bookings.

He thought there was going to be someone else there, so i explained no, just that someone would be waiting for a call after the booking time...etc

He then starts to sound a little panicked and said "oh sorry sorry, I can't do this!" and hung up

Maybe I'm being a little paranoid in the new flat, but I can't shake the feeling I dodged the bullet with this one!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 09 December 2016, 07:23:42 am
Quote from: Tinkerbell on 08 December 2016, 10:38:55 pm
Got this bollocks today....




I am David,

I carry out all types of home maintenance, Specialising in Kitchen and bathrooms.

I have been working for a Few working girls Just lately, as they do not like any old tradesmen, at their property, when they are entertaining. I offer complete discretion at all times. I have been known to pop out for an hour or so, so the girl can take a last minute booking.

I have also been carrying out bits in the bedroom, fitting secure Poles for dancing, Fitting restraints to the walls and floor. I have also made furniture for girls specialising in BDSM.

I do visit working girls myself, So an exchange of services is quite possible.

If any of this is of any interest to you, please contact me via Email: givesmehisemailaddresslikeigiveashit@gmail.com

I do free no obligation quotes.

Regards, David x

Ps, I am a clean white English gentleman 53 years old.

This would be handy for me as I have to stash so much stuff away when my maintenance guy comes , plus he chats too much.

I'd only pay cash though and ask if he could get a couple of girls he's worked for to mail me through aw or something similar , if he's who he says is he is it wouldn't be a problem and I'd be happy to recommend someone to another girl if he appeared genuine and discreet with addresses etc.

I have a prob with maintenance , have a couple of jobs need doing , but also don't wait  all afternoon for someone and lose working time , if he started a job and I got a two hour booking , it would be great to say " see you later/ tomorrow "

Unless it's a pitfall I'm unaware of  ( it's v early in the morning  lol )
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 09 December 2016, 08:19:11 am
Just checked phone 6am message
'Up for a fuck'
F##k off
Previous same guy
Big tits?
U do anal ?

That's why I keep everthing and don't block at least I know who the twats are, not sure when my phone will be full ! It's got hundreds. Of numbers texts lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 09 December 2016, 08:23:02 am
Quote from: Tinkerbell on 08 December 2016, 10:38:55 pm
Got this bollocks today....




I am David,

I carry out all types of home maintenance, Specialising in Kitchen and bathrooms.

I have been working for a Few working girls Just lately, as they do not like any old tradesmen, at their property, when they are entertaining. I offer complete discretion at all times. I have been known to pop out for an hour or so, so the girl can take a last minute booking.

I have also been carrying out bits in the bedroom, fitting secure Poles for dancing, Fitting restraints to the walls and floor. I have also made furniture for girls specialising in BDSM.

I do visit working girls myself, So an exchange of services is quite possible.

If any of this is of any interest to you, please contact me via Email: givesmehisemailaddresslikeigiveashit@gmail.com

I do free no obligation quotes.

Regards, David x

Ps, I am a clean white English gentleman 53 years old.

I've got one like this who's called a couple of times. Says he's a Carpenter & wants to be bossed around in return for his workmanship. Well I'm slightly tempted having been fucked around by 2 carpenters this year. I've told him no twice but he doesn't take the hint. Why don't they just book a flippin role play session & pay for our time.  ??? They aren't that hard up these tradesmen. Last phne call he shouted "I'll pay I'll pay but I just can't take them seriously, bloody spineless fantasists.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 09 December 2016, 03:26:29 pm
So had a call about 30 mins ago off a guy who I just knew was going to be a time waster, asking loads of bollocks, I told him the meeting point (a pub car park) he had to go to even tho I knew he wouldn't call, 10 mins later he texts me
'do you live in the pub babe?'
me; I take incalls in a hotel
'ok so will you collect me when I get to the pub'
coz iv no time for idiots today i said don't contact me again
'why, I just asked a question, how would I get to you then if your in a hotel and I'm a pub' ( guess he means in a pub and hes not an actual pub :/)

Sigh
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 09 December 2016, 04:46:32 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 09 December 2016, 03:26:29 pm
So had a call about 30 mins ago off a guy who I just knew was going to be a time waster, asking loads of bollocks, I told him the meeting point (a pub car park) he had to go to even tho I knew he wouldn't call, 10 mins later he texts me
'do you live in the pub babe?'
me; I take incalls in a hotel
'ok so will you collect me when I get to the pub'
coz iv no time for idiots today i said don't contact me again
'why, I just asked a question, how would I get to you then if your in a hotel and I'm a pub' ( guess he means in a pub and hes not an actual pub :/)

I don't get this...what's the guy done wrong? haha  ???
Sigh
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 09 December 2016, 09:57:46 pm
Had all the dregs of society text/call me today, even tho its plastered on every add/profile do NOT text, call for bookings.
I don't work after 8 so just received a text at nearly 10 saying 'hi slut xx' I really shouldn't have replied but I did, Hi moron.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 09 December 2016, 10:11:35 pm
Had a text asking me for an outcall tomorrow

Hi I'm staying at xxxx inn (City centre hotel) and was wanting to book a 30 min outcall 11am tomorrow (Saturday)

Firstly I don't do weekends I also don't do outcalls and I certainly wouldn't travel into the city centre on a busy xmas shopping day for a half hour booking, I cant understand why he wouldn't book a city centre escort who actually does outcalls
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ScottishSexpot on 09 December 2016, 10:26:28 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 09 December 2016, 09:57:46 pm
Had all the dregs of society text/call me today, even tho its plastered on every add/profile do NOT text, call for bookings.
I don't work after 8 so just received a text at nearly 10 saying 'hi slut xx' I really shouldn't have replied but I did, Hi moron.
Omg some people are just so horrible and have nothing better to do!

I sometimes wonder if its civvy girls that send these text's rather than guy's, in my experience civvy girls feel 'threatened' by us w.g's; like we're gonna jump on their men & demand sex or something!! Deep down they don't trust their men I think x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 09 December 2016, 10:28:33 pm
Quote from: ScottishSexpot on 09 December 2016, 10:26:28 pm
Omg some people are just so horrible and have nothing better to do!

I sometimes wonder if its civvy girls that send these text's rather than guy's, in my experience civvy girls feel 'threatened' by us w.g's; like we're gonna jump on their men & demand sex or something!! Deep down they don't trust their men I think x

I havnt received a reply back, hopefully who ever it was has seen the error of their ways
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ScottishSexpot on 09 December 2016, 10:33:44 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 09 December 2016, 10:28:33 pm
I havnt received a reply back, hopefully who ever it was has seen the error of their ways
Hopefully they don't reply; they have possibly messaged lots of girls, I too would text back & this is my downfall; I let stupid things get to me :((
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 09 December 2016, 11:16:57 pm
Me sorry your a little young for me 21
Him : wats that u cant handle a big cock !
Twat !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: V24 on 09 December 2016, 11:28:10 pm
HIM: Are you open?  :FF
ME: No but I think Tesco's is
HIM: Do you do anal/bareback/cim
ME: No but I think Tesco's do
HIM:  Do you work at Tesco's
ME: No Asda    ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 10 December 2016, 04:55:35 am
Quote from: Ollie on 09 December 2016, 11:28:10 pm
HIM: Are you open?  :FF
ME: No but I think Tesco's is
HIM: Do you do anal/bareback/cim
ME: No but I think Tesco's do
HIM:  Do you work at Tesco's
ME: No Asda    ;D ;D
Great lmao  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 10 December 2016, 11:15:55 am
Quote from: Ollie on 09 December 2016, 11:28:10 pm
HIM: Are you open?  :FF
ME: No but I think Tesco's is
HIM: Do you do anal/bareback/cim
ME: No but I think Tesco's do
HIM:  Do you work at Tesco's
ME: No Asda    ;D ;D

HAHAHAHAHA that's brilliant!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FellowTraveller on 10 December 2016, 06:46:07 pm
This guy has obviously forgotten he's previously emailed me almost exactly the same email at least twice before..........

Hiya how are you i really hope you don't mind me messaging you? I'm Anthony I'm stopping in a hotel in X this evening and I'm looking for a bit of company if you fancy it

No I'm not in the mood to travel all that way for someone looking for an fffing freebie!!

NB he's had a few different nicks all along the line of 8 inch girth.....go figure....




Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FellowTraveller on 10 December 2016, 06:54:53 pm
I've lost the will to work! Finally a VM, but its unintelligable so I text my prices....he texts back he wants X time and instantly demands my postcode. Since I've given up on getting bookings and had a glass of wine I don't think I like his attitude!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 10 December 2016, 10:20:27 pm
Quote from: FellowTraveller on 10 December 2016, 06:46:07 pm
This guy has obviously forgotten he's previously emailed me almost exactly the same email at least twice before..........

Hiya how are you i really hope you don't mind me messaging you? I'm Anthony I'm stopping in a hotel in X this evening and I'm looking for a bit of company if you fancy it

No I'm not in the mood to travel all that way for someone looking for an fffing freebie!!

NB he's had a few different nicks all along the line of 8 inch girth.....go figure....

Oh he's at it again I've had him the night before last and the night before I think   Twice this week , I posted about them both because he can't spell Girth , he's 8 inch grith with a few dots in between

Hey laying in bed with a huge hard on and a cock ring , fancy joining me ? ( nope)
And ... Hey I a hotel looking for some fun all spelt wrong
I sent back ...hope you find some ! Mind you don't think he can read spell so should of put
Hpoe u fnd sum ! Might have made it easier for him

Twathead
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 10 December 2016, 10:33:58 pm
A text received tonight at 8.07pm: "Hi please can I say you look stunning and very sexy. Please can I text you"


I've ignored but was so tempted to reply something like :"No fuck off and read my availability you ignorant asshole." But instead I just take a deep breath and delete...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 11 December 2016, 12:10:49 am
For a start, I'm not a dominatrix and secondly why does he think that just because I'm an escort I can just get him illegal drugs  :FF

Quote
This is Luke.I'm English but teach at a university in Turkey. I'll be visiting [city] in the new year.

Do you like to be dominant? BDSM? If so, I'd like to be dominated for a longer session (3-4 hours, or perhaps overnight) while I am on Ecstasy or MDMA. Would you be into this? How much would you charge for 4 hours? Overnight?
If so, could you get hold of some ecstasy or MDMA? (I don't live in the UK at present, and do not know where to get hold of it in UK). If you were able to, I could meet you a day or two before our session and give you money for 'e's.

Some of the things I like:
Bondage (especially with ropes and cords)
Nipple and Cock Torture
Being forced to eat your pussy and ass
Face sitting/smothering
You biting
Spanking, crops
Ice, hot wax
You being aggressive and violent. Making me scream or cry.
You improvising and having fun.

If you would be vaguely interested in this. Please let me know.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luciexx on 11 December 2016, 02:03:50 pm
TW.  ... They do bore me.  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 11 December 2016, 04:03:26 pm
Text toda.
'Write address booking 8pm'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 11 December 2016, 04:10:55 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 11 December 2016, 04:03:26 pm
Text toda.
'Write address booking 8pm'

Tell him he's missed some words out which would make him legible. Give him the dictionary.com link too so he can look up 'legible'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 11 December 2016, 04:24:39 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 11 December 2016, 04:10:55 pm
Tell him he's missed some words out which would make him legible. Give him the dictionary.com link too so he can look up 'legible'.
He then text.
Suck, watersports
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 11 December 2016, 04:31:10 pm
I'd be tempted to reply
Onions, peppers, tomatoes
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 11 December 2016, 05:43:46 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 11 December 2016, 04:31:10 pm
I'd be tempted to reply
Onions, peppers, tomatoes
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 11 December 2016, 07:37:01 pm
Sounds like an orang-utan. Not a man.

Ug Ug.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: 20AcreRose on 12 December 2016, 09:23:31 am
Ooh ooh I can finally join this thread... Although I might change my display name so fellas dont google me and land here!  haha.

TW:  Wow you look hot.  First clue.
Me:  Thank you that?s lovely. 
TW:  What do you do? I just want to kiss and finger you.  Second glaring clue.
Me:  It?s all mentioned on my ads and website.
TW:  I got your number from a friend.  No you didn?t.
I send my website link.
TW:  So what do you do?  Dinner sounds nice.  Bye!

TW:  Hi are you avail for tow people?  I?ll assume you meant two.
Me:  I don?t do couples sorry.
TW:  We?ll go suprately  I?ll assume you meant separately.
So, who gets sloppy seconds?  Pass

TW:  Hi I seen your ad on ***** Okaay?
Me:  Let me know if you?d like to book.
TW:  How much do you charge?  For real?
Me:  My charges are in the ad.
TW:  I seen so many adds I don?t remember yours.  Well you got my number somehow, if you were serious you could probably find my ad again.
A few minutes later?.
TW:  ?


(Preview looks fine but in the post, all my apostrophes are having fits??  Sorry not sure what happened)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FellowTraveller on 12 December 2016, 09:27:14 am
A few texts this weekend which got no reply...

Hi X you so so sexy and in that red bra. Where abouts are you. XXXX followed by..Hi hope you are ok today.XX😘

And..

Hi are you free tomorrow for an hour booking please and do you wear tights for the booking
2/3 weeks ago he sent...
Hi are you free for an in call today please can you wear a white suspender belt and brown stokings

YAWN...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: 20AcreRose on 12 December 2016, 09:28:40 am
Double post sorry having technical issues!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 12 December 2016, 11:45:21 am
Quote from: 20AcreRose on 12 December 2016, 09:28:40 am
Double post sorry having technical issues!
Ha ha ha my bodies having technical issues this morning , it's tired .
My bloody ipad is too , going mega slow and some browsers not opening !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FellowTraveller on 12 December 2016, 03:20:52 pm
I'm having tech issues I'm about to explode. Caller had a couple of questions....oookk...answered one the second one was so the RP I wanted was taboo and you say NO TABOO...... :FF :FF.

Yes generally people who say no taboo, mean no taboo....give me strength.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 12 December 2016, 06:05:51 pm
Just told a guy he's too young
Him : so you won't see me I like the older ones
ME: so do I :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 12 December 2016, 06:57:47 pm
Guy who I had saved in my phone as "TW Wants Sub"

Me: How long would you like to visit for?
Him: Your hourly rate is ?120?
Me: Yes.
Him: And how many times can I cum?
Me: You're paying for my time, so it's up to you.
Him: So can I cum three times?
Me: Nah that's about double what I'd expect.
Him: ...What?
Me: Yeah I'd say 1.5 times is about right. Especially when you look at the rate of inflation and the falling pound, post Brexit. It's all linked, right?
Him: Well this is a waste of time.
Me: You got that right.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 12 December 2016, 07:30:52 pm
Can tell its a monday  :FF

Phone goes, I answer seemingly ok guy, asks if im working, I point out I dont work on a monday and il be free tomorrow from 2pm. He asks if I do CIM, at this point im getting slightly irritated, tells him my answer, he then asks if I do snowballing without saying the word just describing the act, I polity say if you would like to make a booking please call after 2pm tomorrow, he says ok then asks what im upto tonight  ??? :FF Quickly said im cleaning so call me tomorrow to make a booking, then quick as a flash says can you do me a favour, now I was thinking it will be somthing jokey like can you clean my house, no this little gem said 'lets have a wank on the phone together' I hang up and cracks back on with my cleaning  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Chanel xxx on 12 December 2016, 07:51:55 pm
I got this one this weekend

Hi mommy!
Merry Christmas mommy!
Will you be my new mommy xxx

Creepy as fu*k 🤔
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 12 December 2016, 08:39:13 pm
Fuck, that's disturbing.

I offer an early bird special of ?20 discount for any booking before 9am, but make it clear it MUST be booked in advance, and that I only work 8am-8pm.
I get this gem at 23:16
Hi is it possible to book and early bird special for tomorrow?

 :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 12 December 2016, 09:28:47 pm
I got one this , role play scenario , I said ok as long as it's not anything dodgy , so he sent a great big long mommy / son one , bending over the bath etc ,
So nope to that , told him a few I do , he nearly crapped himself ( better than his but not in anyway dodgy just elaborate )... I really should of been an actress lmao
But he kept apologising and said he was too embarrassed to see me !
Personally I think it was another case of IBS ....instant Bulls##t
Hey ho ...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 12 December 2016, 09:41:25 pm
Quote from: Chanel xxx on 12 December 2016, 07:51:55 pm
I got this one this weekend

Hi mommy!
Merry Christmas mommy!
Will you be my new mommy xxx

Creepy as fu*k 🤔

Bitty from Little Britain... ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kitty_69 on 12 December 2016, 10:25:33 pm
Quote from: Ollie on 09 December 2016, 11:28:10 pm
HIM: Are you open?  :FF
ME: No but I think Tesco's is
HIM: Do you do anal/bareback/cim
ME: No but I think Tesco's do
HIM:  Do you work at Tesco's
ME: No Asda    ;D ;D

that's funny
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mariah on 13 December 2016, 01:46:55 am
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 12 December 2016, 06:57:47 pm
Guy who I had saved in my phone as "TW Wants Sub"

Me: How long would you like to visit for?
Him: Your hourly rate is ?120?
Me: Yes.
Him: And how many times can I cum?
Me: You're paying for my time, so it's up to you.
Him: So can I cum three times?
Me: Nah that's about double what I'd expect.
Him: ...What?
Me: Yeah I'd say 1.5 times is about right. Especially when you look at the rate of inflation and the falling pound, post Brexit. It's all linked, right?
Him: Well this is a waste of time.
Me: You got that right.

Lool. Now that's funny  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FellowTraveller on 14 December 2016, 06:42:00 am
This gem sent at 3.26 am Hi this is S in X, are you free?

I'm always tempted to answer no I'm very expensive

But can never be arsed!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 14 December 2016, 12:51:20 pm
Mr Self Entitled calls over 2 days then texts for a few days. I ignore his last 2 texts. Day before his booking he texts:

" Hi Chatterly dont freed (he must mean freak) out but i had a thought just as nice guy. If you dont have any apointments after 1pm Tuesday do you fancy getting a bit of lunch before or appointment? Just a thought that's all" Xx

I ignored feeling insulted, not just by his poor grammar.

He texts again on the day "Hi Chatterly Has today gone to plan with your venue for tomorrow to be on?"

To prove a point so he learns a lesson about paying for sex, I text back "if you want to change to a lunch date the price is 250 so we'll need to sort out timings etc"

Him:"sorry didn't mean to confuse things. I was just thinking that if you were kicking your heals (just throw some petrol on the fire) if you had nothing happening before 2.30 that's all as you were in town. You can tell I'm a novice at this can't you."  ::)

Me: "yes I know that's what you meant. I was making a point. Maybe go & read my etiquette section on my website."

A few more needy texts & I ignored. So he calls me & I decide to put him straight again verbally. He then asks
 "can I tell you a story"  ::) (no thanks Jackanory.)
I tersley inform him that this isn't POF & he should go on there if he wants someone to go to lunch for free. Self entitled deluded fantasist.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 14 December 2016, 02:56:07 pm
Quote from: Chatterly on 14 December 2016, 12:51:20 pm
Mr Self Entitled calls over 2 days then texts for a few days. I ignore his last 2 texts. Day before his booking he texts:

" Hi Chatterly dont freed (he must mean freak) out but i had a thought just as nice guy. If you dont have any apointments after 1pm Tuesday do you fancy getting a bit of lunch before or appointment? Just a thought that's all" Xx

I ignored feeling insulted, not just by his poor grammar.

He texts again on the day "Hi Chatterly Has today gone to plan with your venue for tomorrow to be on?"

To prove a point so he learns a lesson about paying for sex, I text back "if you want to change to a lunch date the price is 250 so we'll need to sort out timings etc"

Him:"sorry didn't mean to confuse things. I was just thinking that if you were kicking your heals (just throw some petrol on the fire) if you had nothing happening before 2.30 that's all as you were in town. You can tell I'm a novice at this can't you."  ::)

Me: "yes I know that's what you meant. I was making a point. Maybe go & read my etiquette section on my website."

A few more needy texts & I ignored. So he calls me & I decide to put him straight again verbally. He then asks
 "can I tell you a story"  ::) (no thanks Jackanory.)
I tersley inform him that this isn't POF & he should go on there if he wants someone to go to lunch for free. Self entitled deluded fantasist.
Oh great ,  need to get better at this lmao
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 14 December 2016, 03:01:20 pm
Quote from: Chanel xxx on 12 December 2016, 07:51:55 pm
I got this one this weekend

Hi mommy!
Merry Christmas mommy!
Will you be my new mommy xxx

Creepy as fu*k 🤔


I would have said yes for 100 an hour course I will just give me a call son,  I'd even be his Christmas Grand mommy if he wanted me to lol


Problem is with almost EVERY SINGLE one of these requests its a timewaster just trying to get a reaction. :-(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FellowTraveller on 14 December 2016, 04:56:51 pm
This guy has a history of TW texts, after today he's gonna be blocked. Received these two just now from him:

Can you do incall x

Ring me if wanna proceed  with  making a booking

Eh?! Wtf why would I ring him, you ring me matey...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 14 December 2016, 05:20:30 pm
Email received from someone with a new profile and 0 feedback.

Evening
Your right up my street you
I'm 43 year old , stopping in xxxxxxx this week
Would love to come see you tomorrow night
For a nice long blow job,
Around 2200??
I bet your good at it
Regards
XXX

The 'I bet your good at it' made me smile but no booking for him as...
A. He sounds twatish.
B. I'm finished and in my pj's by 4pm
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 14 December 2016, 08:32:05 pm
Should have told him that 2200 is about what it'll cost him.  Had my own deluded fantasist today says he's from Turkey and wants to take me on holiday there to his nice apartment so I can be his mistress. Turkey is one of the last places I want to go right now it seems to get bombed every week.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: X-Annie on 14 December 2016, 10:20:44 pm
*sent three times clearly copy and pasted*

Hey baby your in my area will you role play a young girl for me and if so how young?

I know I shouldn't have replied, I didn't the first time. The second time I replied mmm sure I'd love to role play a young girl for you, I'll be 18? Xx

The third time I replied hey can you fuck off for me and if so how soon?

I know I shouldn't but it's been a long day  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 15 December 2016, 08:20:46 am
Quote
hey can you fuck off for me and if so how soon?

 :D :D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FellowTraveller on 15 December 2016, 03:51:27 pm
You may think this text is ok..but for 2 things, he sent an almost identical one 6 days ago and received a very informative reply...and look how bloomin vague it is...

Hi X just seen your ad and you look and sound great just wondering how much you charge  and what services you provide and hopefully we could meet up soon x

Edit: He emailed me the exact same thing  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 15 December 2016, 04:18:02 pm
Quote from: FellowTraveller on 15 December 2016, 03:51:27 pm
You may think this text is ok..but for 2 things, he sent an almost identical one 6 days ago and received a very informative reply...and look how bloomin vague it is...

Hi X just seen your ad and you look and sound great just wondering how much you charge  and what services you provide and hopefully we could meet up soon x

Edit: He emailed me the exact same thing  ::)

He's like a stuck record isn't he lol


Someone keeps texting me almost every night for the past few weeks around 9pm saying "Hey you working? X"  I've replied once saying I only do evenings when booked in advance but it hasn't seemed to register as he keeps sending the same text *yawn*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FellowTraveller on 15 December 2016, 04:29:09 pm
Quote from: katrina on 15 December 2016, 04:18:02 pm
He's like a stuck record isn't he lol


Someone keeps texting me almost every night for the past few weeks around 9pm saying "Hey you working? X"  I've replied once saying I only do evenings when booked in advance but it hasn't seemed to register as he keeps sending the same text *yawn*

Yeh I have a 2 or 3 text rule, if someone sends those ridiculously vague ones like 'u free' 'u available' ' u around today' 2/3 times I just block em, since they ain't never gonna book!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 16 December 2016, 08:44:49 am
Guy rings asks can i book you for 60 mins at 5.30 just flying in from Schipol and need to get my hire car. Booked in seems fine then messages saying I have got to Schipol early I can make the earlier flight so can we change the booking to 4.30 there are only 3 flights a day to my local airport and he was surprised when I asked him where his earlier flight was going to as it certainly was not coming to the airport near me, I advised him to find a escort near to where his new flight was landing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 16 December 2016, 02:13:40 pm
AW message:

":) Nice to meet you I am Ron. . I just seen your profile on here and You Look Amazing. You are a Beauty. I am writing to you Because I would like to know more about you. I also got a good quality camera and I am good with editing photos. I was thinking we should take some PRO photos for you so you can get more clients mean more money. I am really shocked by you looking so sexy with your Cute Body. Kisses <3 <3 <3. "
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 16 December 2016, 02:27:56 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 16 December 2016, 02:13:40 pm
AW message:

":) Nice to meet you I am Ron. . I just seen your profile on here and You Look Amazing. You are a Beauty. I am writing to you Because I would like to know more about you. I also got a good quality camera and I am good with editing photos. I was thinking we should take some PRO photos for you so you can get more clients mean more money. I am really shocked by you looking so sexy with your Cute Body. Kisses <3 <3 <3. "

What is it with these men and their cameras? What are they wanting? Free sex in exchange for photos??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ScottishSexpot on 16 December 2016, 03:06:24 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 16 December 2016, 02:27:56 pm
What is it with these men and their cameras? What are they wanting? Free sex in exchange for photos??
In a word yes!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kazzle on 16 December 2016, 04:30:18 pm
HoHoHo Merry Christmas! In this festive season I'm hoping you've got a nice little discount for good little boys!!!!!


 ::)


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FellowTraveller on 16 December 2016, 04:33:13 pm
Quote from: Kazzle on 16 December 2016, 04:30:18 pm
HoHoHo Merry Christmas! In this festive season I'm hoping you've got a nice little discount for good little boys!!!!!


 ::)

Tell him if 5 other reputable escorts can verify he's a good boy he can get a discount  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ScottishSexpot on 16 December 2016, 05:09:24 pm
Quote from: Kazzle on 16 December 2016, 04:30:18 pm
HoHoHo Merry Christmas! In this festive season I'm hoping you've got a nice little discount for good little boys!!!!!


 ::)
I've had this before from a really annoying Boundary pushing client (not exactly this but similar) and I answered "if anything my rates go up over the festive period", they don't but he was doing my head in!! Anyway that was the end of me hearing from him again.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 16 December 2016, 06:55:18 pm
phone call came up with a name of a punter I've seen before

Him...Hi is this Heather?
Me.. No
Him..You based in xxx xxxxx?
Me...Yes
Him...Yes I remember you
Me...Obviously not enough to remember my name.
Him...Can I come and see you later?
Me...(I'm not busy but for some reason pissed he has got my name wrong) No sorry I'm fully booked.
I always cut off my nose to spite my face but I can't help it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 16 December 2016, 07:05:05 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 16 December 2016, 06:55:18 pm
phone call came up with a name of a punter I've seen before

Him...Hi is this Heather?
Me.. No
Him..You based in xxx xxxxx?
Me...Yes
Him...Yes I remember you
Me...Obviously not enough to remember my name.
Him...Can I come and see you later?
Me...(I'm not busy but for some reason pissed he has got my name wrong) No sorry I'm fully booked.
I always cut off my nose to spite my face but I can't help it.

Oh I thought it was only me that did this
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 16 December 2016, 09:49:55 pm
A reg arrives 45 minutes late and expects me to see him. I made other arrangements so he wants to wait until I am finished at 10.15pm is fine by me.

At night time rushing for them is out of the window.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FellowTraveller on 17 December 2016, 09:16:06 am
Via email:

Hi babe are you free tomorrow for 1 pm x and Can we do anal x please as I am not big and not wild will do lots of anal play lubrication before penetration and if you say stop I stop xx also would like to pretend to be your neighbor walking in finding you asleep waking you by putting my head under the blanket can we do this xx

I don't offer anal or even anal play....AND what planet is he friggin on
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 17 December 2016, 02:17:41 pm
Phone call
Him: Hi are you available
Me: Yes
Him: Do you do anal?
Me: No
Him: Awwww. I've got a small cock though. Please

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kitty_69 on 17 December 2016, 03:06:42 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 17 December 2016, 02:17:41 pm
Phone call
Him: Hi are you available
Me: Yes
Him: Do you do anal?
Me: No
Him: Awwww. I've got a small cock though. Please

 ::)

the only time a man would say he go a small cock lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kazzle on 18 December 2016, 10:07:43 am
hello new to this but i think your look amazing can send you picture of me if you want im young and have money please get back to me x


What's the betting he wants to send me a picture of his cock? ::)  Good to know his paper round is paying so well though! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sourgrapes on 18 December 2016, 12:24:11 pm
Time for the Christmas break - I'm getting bad tempered.
Just got a text "u free love"?
So tempted to text back: not free, not your 'love' and don't take sms bookings."
Too burnt out to bother, though  :-[
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 20 December 2016, 02:13:16 pm
Quote from: trashbaby on 03 February 2016, 05:47:40 pm
Hi there!

I went to loughborough uni to study physiotherapy and have just returned from Australia. I need volunteers to try reflexology (basically a foot massage) and would like to offer this to you for free? I really need the feedback and practice which would help me a lot. There is already feedback on my page :)

Please do let me know if it is something that would appeal for you? I'm happy to answer any questions you may have.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Thanks! :-) x

P.s. apologies if I've previously messaged you


Wow what an offer.  Yes, foot-fetishist, you can have my time for free and of COURSE I don't mind that you've copy pasted this and sent it to so many hookers you've lost track  ::)

I just received this exact message, he's still going around 7 months later. I told him he could give me a foot massage during a booking and he replied "Ah thanks for replying but I'm purely looking for volunteers! If you change your mind please let me know :) x"

He has about 20 positive feedback and most mention the amazing foot massage they received, can't believe he met all of them for free and just how long does he need to practice this "skill".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissSJ on 20 December 2016, 03:35:51 pm
Just got this exact text message..

"Hello. You sell wet knickers?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MistressMorgana on 20 December 2016, 03:43:25 pm
Email on AW. Zero Feedback.

'Hello, I feel we know each other from another lifetime, if you want meet for chit chat or take things further, my number is...'

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 20 December 2016, 04:15:02 pm
Quote from: MistressMorgana on 20 December 2016, 03:43:25 pm
Email on AW. Zero Feedback.

'Hello, I feel we know each other from another lifetime, if you want meet for chit chat or take things further, my number is...'

 ;D

I was literally just coming here to post this! He's hitting the inboxes today :D

He also called me - before I'd seen this drivel - and asked 101 questions, pretending not to have ever booked an escort before, finally after making arrangements for a booking he then says "Oh by the way do you do anal?" NO. Then he says "Oh it's just I've always had this fantasy about anal..."
Me: "Idiot. Go away." click
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 20 December 2016, 05:07:50 pm
5 texts dating back to June 2015, most recent received on Saturday. Of course all ignored but it's nice to see I've gained another wow lol

"Wow""

"Wow"

"Wow wow and wow"

"Wow wow and wow"

"Wow wow wow and wow"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MistressMorgana on 20 December 2016, 05:52:52 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 20 December 2016, 04:15:02 pm
I was literally just coming here to post this! He's hitting the inboxes today :D

He also called me - before I'd seen this drivel - and asked 101 questions, pretending not to have ever booked an escort before, finally after making arrangements for a booking he then says "Oh by the way do you do anal?" NO. Then he says "Oh it's just I've always had this fantasy about anal..."
Me: "Idiot. Go away." click

You can always tell the numbskulls as they don't use your name. They must have such sad little lives to sit for hours and email hundreds of escorts.

Knobs,  VC, the lot of em! No flies on us  ;D

OR,  maybe he's my Christmas angel come to rescue me. Pmsl
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MistressMorgana on 20 December 2016, 05:55:40 pm
Quote from: kate_x on 20 December 2016, 05:07:50 pm
5 texts dating back to June 2015, most recent received on Saturday. Of course all ignored but it's nice to see I've gained another wow lol

"Wow""

"Wow"

"Wow wow and wow"

"Wow wow and wow"

"Wow wow wow and wow"

I only got one ' wow,' so I'm not hot enough  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tinkerbell on 20 December 2016, 07:25:40 pm
Message from a profile with no feedback and only created a few days ago:

'Hi, I wanna make you cum hard. Interested?

My reply: 'well the other 356,785 blokes I've shagged haven't managed to make me cum, so I don't imagine you will either.'

I was possibly out of order but couldn't be arsed with crap today.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 20 December 2016, 08:21:15 pm
Quote from: Tinkerbell on 20 December 2016, 07:25:40 pm
Message from a profile with no feedback and only created a few days ago:

'Hi, I wanna make you cum hard. Interested?

My reply: 'well the other 356,785 blokes I've shagged haven't managed to make me cum, so I don't imagine you will either.'

I was possibly out of order but couldn't be arsed with crap today.

Amazing  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 20 December 2016, 11:11:45 pm
A text:

Him: Hi would you sell me a pair of your dirty knickers I can collect anytime I'm 2.7 miles away according to your aw. No problem if not xx

Me: I don't have dirty knickers sorry xx



And its true because I don't wear them for long (if at all)  and when I do wear them they're usually off within minutes/seconds !! (my nan's advice to me was 'Always make sure you have clean underwear just in case you get run over' :-)))
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 21 December 2016, 05:30:23 pm
Me. Hello
Him. Where are you?
Me. Where are you?
Him. What?
Me. You asked where I am, where are you?
Him. I don't understand
Me. Neither do I,
Him. Puts phone down
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 21 December 2016, 06:35:38 pm
Quote from: Tinkerbell on 20 December 2016, 07:25:40 pm
Message from a profile with no feedback and only created a few days ago:

'Hi, I wanna make you cum hard. Interested?

My reply: 'well the other 356,785 blokes I've shagged haven't managed to make me cum, so I don't imagine you will either.'

I was possibly out of order but couldn't be arsed with crap today.

"No thanks, I don't like hard cum." That'd confuse him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 21 December 2016, 06:36:31 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 21 December 2016, 05:30:23 pm
Me. Hello
Him. Where are you?
Me. Where are you?
Him. What?
Me. You asked where I am, where are you?
Him. I don't understand
Me. Neither do I,
Him. Puts phone down

 :D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 21 December 2016, 06:59:29 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 21 December 2016, 06:36:31 pm
:D ;D
I was doing lego with my nephews at the time, I should have said that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 21 December 2016, 07:33:59 pm
In just now...

Hi Honey ;-) u are so fit babe ! are u available this week ? yr so sexy ,am so hard !
hope we can get together ?? ?
Baz xxx


Merry Xmas to you too.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 22 December 2016, 07:39:59 am
Just received this

"Hi there I've booked you tomorrow for 18:00. Just to let you know I haven't put my real mobile down due to being at home . I can phone you at a set Time if needs be just let me know. I read my emails every day on here!! Look forward to hearing from you x"

Ah no without a mobile number that is not happening
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 22 December 2016, 04:30:10 pm
An email via AW:

Nice pics and profile, are you single?

Would you ever like to be a dommy mommy with a live in son to train up to be a sissy cuckold?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 22 December 2016, 04:32:19 pm
And another:

Subject Mistress

Him: Please find a use for me

Me: Yes you come and pay me for services.



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fliss on 24 December 2016, 08:57:48 am
This email on AW:

Hi ,
Hope you're well and are busy with lots of work.
Just wondered if you would be interested in a massage? I offer a very relaxing, non-sexual, visiting massage so YOU can have the attention for a change!
I'm doing a FREE half hour massage as a trial, if you don't want more that's fine!
Please let me know if you'd like to try it out, you'll feel so relaxed I assure you!
Bye for now - any questions just ask :)
Happy Christmas!

I'm sure I've had a very similar one last year!

No website of course just a 2 year AW profile with limited FB..you want to see me naked...you pay like everyone else.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 24 December 2016, 01:39:43 pm

"Hiya how are you I'm at tonight on 35 diesel I'm just on my way back home and I'wull be driving down the a 34 soon and I'm looking to stop for a coffee at Chieveley services do you maybe fancy it up and sucking me off in the car "

 ;D ;D ;D
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 24 December 2016, 03:42:07 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 24 December 2016, 01:39:43 pm
"Hiya how are you I'm at tonight on 35 diesel I'm just on my way back home and I'wull be driving down the a 34 soon and I'm looking to stop for a coffee at Chieveley services do you maybe fancy it up and sucking me off in the car "

 ;D ;D ;D

Well, no way you're going to get a better offer for Christmas Eve!  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fliss on 25 December 2016, 04:24:18 pm
Why oh Why.....  >:(. Email from a guy I'd seen twice in one location. I thought I'd explained to him 2/3 times the boundaries of a client/escort relationship but still he writes this...

Merry Christmas thank you for the fun close moments shared hope you are enjoying Christmas day ? I'm on my own if you want a companion and cuddles? X

No no no you are not getting a freebie!! Not only that he hasn't even noticed I'm touring elsewhere  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 25 December 2016, 05:41:04 pm
Bearing in mind the day, texts telling me how gorgeous I am... then asking if we can be friends.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 25 December 2016, 10:13:16 pm
AW email:

Quote
Hope you are well
U look wonderful

I am fantasising about watching my wife with some one else
She looks
Ike you too
Cuckold really
Are you happy with this ?
It's like found poetry, really.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 26 December 2016, 09:15:33 am
Woke up to this on aw from someone I've never even met.  :FF

Who did you go on holiday with? And do you have kik messenger?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 26 December 2016, 11:22:43 am
Message on AW last night
HIM:Hi seen your post on adutwork turns me on very much would love to chat
Ry
ME: Feel free to book tomorrow when il next be working
HIM:=( working or i would, was thinking maybe a bit of flirting to start. really new to this what sorta things do you do and like?
ME: sorry unfortunatly I dont run a charity service, if you would like a free wank please go look elsewhere  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jill on 26 December 2016, 12:25:21 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 26 December 2016, 11:22:43 am
Message on AW last night
HIM:Hi seen your post on adutwork turns me on very much would love to chat
Ry
ME: Feel free to book tomorrow when il next be working
HIM:=( working or i would, was thinking maybe a bit of flirting to start. really new to this what sorta things do you do and like?
ME: sorry unfortunatly I dont run a charity service, if you would like a free wank please go look elsewhere  :FF

I get stuff like this from time to time too but do not respond at all. Sometimes I am tempted to come back with a put down but usually resist.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fliss on 28 December 2016, 02:16:59 pm
I recently put in bold no texts, calls only as I'd had too many TWs that way and just now I get, via text..

Hi I have read your profile but can't call as I am at work. I am 30 professional, where in X are you? I see you don't do owo, do you allow cum on body?

I seriously don't give a fuck!! Had a hideous booking yesterday, was in such a state after I accidentally bashed my head so hard I gave myself mild concussion & woke at 5 30am (feel nauseous & vice like band around my head) so NOT in the mood for this kinda crap  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 28 December 2016, 05:30:59 pm
'Hi can I book an hour at 8pm?'
'Yes that's fine I'll text you my address details'
'Can I just ask can I have a 2 girl?'
'No not this evening too short notice..'
'That's ok I'll just see you'
'Ok so are you driving to me?'
'Can I just ask?You advertise GFE..do you do PSE as well?'
'Actually yes..even though my AW ad makes much of me offering a sensual,passionate GFE with lots of touching and caressing and kissing..I actually forgot to add the other option of a hairflailing,skullfucking,PSE!'
'Really?'
'No!Go book someone that actually advertises a more PSE style of punt!' :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Paprika82 on 29 December 2016, 04:09:42 pm
"You're so hot, I'd love to get you pregnant!"

Right, because that won't get you blocked right?  ::) :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 29 December 2016, 10:31:11 pm
Quote from: Paprika82 on 29 December 2016, 04:09:42 pm
"You're so hot, I'd love to get you pregnant!"

Right, because that won't get you blocked right?  ::) :FF

And I think I would have replied, no worries I could do with a meal ticket for the next 20 years. You get me pregnant, I will get the kid, the house and the maintenance, that's a great deal thanks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MistressMorgana on 30 December 2016, 11:50:16 am
Leave a voicemail of the inside of his pocket that is over 4 minutes long  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Paprika82 on 30 December 2016, 12:55:25 pm
Quote from: curvywench on 29 December 2016, 10:31:11 pm
And I think I would have replied, no worries I could do with a meal ticket for the next 20 years. You get me pregnant, I will get the kid, the house and the maintenance, that's a great deal thanks

I doubt that sort of person would pay at all, let alone reliably and reguarly.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: southamptonbabe on 01 January 2017, 12:16:44 am

heyyy babe,

Just seen your profile and I have to say, I like what I see!

Anyways the reason I am messaging is because I would like to meet up. I also a service provider on here. I was wondering if you would be interested in shooting some pics and videos together for our profile and maybe even webcamming together?

I have over 40,000 profile views and almost 90+ positive ratings as well as having worked with girls in the past such as DaisyRock, eLouiselust, ChantelleWhite, BrookeDavis, FariyahKhan and more (content on my profile for proof).

Hope I havent wasted your time and hope to hear from you soon

Aaron x

Who the fuck is chantelle, brook and fariyah... whatever names are? Am i missing some celebrity names?  :o
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 01 January 2017, 07:47:08 pm
They're famous escorts of course! Like we are all famous to him! He is an escort wannabee AND an escort groupee all in one!

Bloody great he sounds.

Head down toilet.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kitty_69 on 01 January 2017, 09:52:29 pm
on the phone 8 am
him : hi can i book 1 hour
me  :yes what time and where ?
him :9 am name of village
me :ok just text me your full address
get lots of text what time you coming?
 whats your address ?
what time you coming ?
what time you coming ?
what time you coming ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 02 January 2017, 08:09:21 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 01 January 2017, 07:47:08 pm
They're famous escorts of course! Like we are all famous to him! He is an escort wannabee AND an escort groupee all in one!

Bloody great he sounds.

Head down toilet.

Well according to these clients we all know each other and have a weekly social.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 02 January 2017, 08:34:22 pm
28/11 I work in (x). We fuck x
01/01 your tits are nice x
today Nice tits whats your name x

My tits must have dazzled him so much as he missed my name plastered over which ever profile he was reading  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 03 January 2017, 09:53:45 am
Quote
Hi im working in XXX can i come see u today /tonight for some nasty dirty sex fisting on u or me pee in my mouth anal big insertions call me

Wow, how can I resist such a temptation  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 03 January 2017, 05:53:45 pm
I'm looking some one-one fun on a regular basis but also:

Do you like gangbangs?

I'm in a 5-aside team and there is 6 of us in total.
we all young and horny and looking for a bit of regular fun, possibly once a week?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 03 January 2017, 06:16:16 pm
'Do you see 21 year olds?'
'No sorry as I make clear on my ads it's 25 and over'
'When are you available?'
'Well for you in about 4 years time'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 03 January 2017, 07:01:30 pm
Him,U avail?
Me,N.
Him,N?
Me, Couldn't be bothered to text proper words
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 03 January 2017, 10:12:21 pm
Copied and pasted


hi there i would like to book you for a session if i may where was i would like is for you to be wearing some sort of sexy dress or top and skirt bra and knickers we have just met in a room for afternoon tea with a cake so i divide cheesecake up give you a piece and it accidentally falls on your dress I'm so very sorry and try to help you clean it off i have the hots for you but you are married you go bathroom to clean off i follow and apologies again and get a cloth i appologise again I'm about to have a shower now i kiss you and you push me away i shower when i come out you still trying to get the cake off and i kiss you again this time you want me i go shower and pull you in still clothed you shower with me lots of snogging then we go to the bed still in your wet clothing and ride me what do you think

 

How can I resist ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 04 January 2017, 05:30:41 am
My profile specifically states no role play and still tossers try their luck don't they!  Can't they READ for God's sake! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 04 January 2017, 09:42:54 am
Him: do you like BBC
Me: I prefer channel 4.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 04 January 2017, 10:40:52 am
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 04 January 2017, 09:42:54 am
Him: do you like BBC
Me: I prefer channel 4.

Lol I had him msg me or someone who said the same thing, I said 'love it just watching a doc on there now'  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 05 January 2017, 10:04:12 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 03 January 2017, 10:12:21 pm
Copied and pasted


hi there i would like to book you for a session if i may where was i would like is for you to be wearing some sort of sexy dress or top and skirt bra and knickers we have just met in a room for afternoon tea with a cake so i divide cheesecake up give you a piece and it accidentally falls on your dress I'm so very sorry and try to help you clean it off i have the hots for you but you are married you go bathroom to clean off i follow and apologies again and get a cloth i appologise again I'm about to have a shower now i kiss you and you push me away i shower when i come out you still trying to get the cake off and i kiss you again this time you want me i go shower and pull you in still clothed you shower with me lots of snogging then we go to the bed still in your wet clothing and ride me what do you think

 

How can I resist ?


I think I'd ask him if I could bring a script with me as I'd forget what I was supposed to do half way through.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 05 January 2017, 10:46:36 pm
Aw email from a guy with 2 positive feedbacks for hour long bookings!
Hi my love I'd like to book you for 30 mins I'm a 65 year old but as I'm not a long stayer can I shag you for 50?

I normally don't answer but I couldn't help stating the obvious like why doesn't he book a 15 min quickie or book a sex worker that does 30 mins for 50 instead of making himself look like a cheeky cheap timewaster.. :FF
Stupid yacky old fool!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 05 January 2017, 11:38:26 pm
I've had quite a few window lickers the past few days by text:

An idiot who booked then got 'called into work' a few weeks ago texted today "Long shot but you aren't working now are you?" I didn't reply but thought haha not a fucking chance ever again, fool.  ;D

Another moron "Hey Kat hour in am" No reply again

Yet another dumbass "Pay you for nickers" then later "U very nice"  ::)

Then another twat at 9.50pm "Hello when do you finnish" Me: "5pm"

And yet another plonker "My partner ha been in touch asking about couples. Sounds good. Do you also have sexy underwear that you can put on"  What the fuck else am I going to do with my undies?!!!  ???

Fucking twits  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 05 January 2017, 11:52:31 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 03 January 2017, 10:12:21 pm
Copied and pasted


hi there i would like to book you for a session if i may where was i would like is for you to be wearing some sort of sexy dress or top and skirt bra and knickers we have just met in a room for afternoon tea with a cake so i divide cheesecake up give you a piece and it accidentally falls on your dress I'm so very sorry and try to help you clean it off i have the hots for you but you are married you go bathroom to clean off i follow and apologies again and get a cloth i appologise again I'm about to have a shower now i kiss you and you push me away i shower when i come out you still trying to get the cake off and i kiss you again this time you want me i go shower and pull you in still clothed you shower with me lots of snogging then we go to the bed still in your wet clothing and ride me what do you think

 

How can I resist ?

I... I think this might be one of my favourites of all time. It's the stream of consciousness style, I can imagine him getting all in a tizzy with those typos and lack of punctuation.

i'm so very sorry cloth apologise and i appologise again i keep on apppologising about the cake oh no the cake is on you i go shower
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nia Hope on 06 January 2017, 02:57:45 pm
Another copy and paste.

I'm Andrew, 34 years old ,half British half Russian, top manager, who just moved to Essex. Looking for a beautiful, smart and talented girl to meet with her on regular basis (1-3 times a month) without looking for a serious relationship. We can arrange meetings in your place as well as go out together or travel. I love travelling, kitesurfing, wakeboarding, snowboarding, playing poker, reading books and just going out and meeting new interesting people. I travel one third of my time, so can not think about serious relationship. Please let me know about your availability and if you wish to meet.

Please WhatsApp me also on [removed - please don't post phone numbers here] - I believe it would be great to have a quick intro chat before the initial meeting as well as it will be fair for you to see my photos as well. I very respect you and your time and understand you receive millions of messages from random people, but I'm not looking for one night adventure and would love to spend time with a person who actually likes me. Looking forward to find out if we click together (hope so),
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seleranda on 06 January 2017, 03:37:00 pm
Quote from: Nia Hope on 06 January 2017, 02:57:45 pm
Another copy and paste.

I'm Andrew, 34 years old ,half British half Russian, top manager, who just moved to Essex. Looking for a beautiful, smart and talented girl to meet with her on regular basis (1-3 times a month) without looking for a serious relationship. We can arrange meetings in your place as well as go out together or travel. I love travelling, kitesurfing, wakeboarding, snowboarding, playing poker, reading books and just going out and meeting new interesting people. I travel one third of my time, so can not think about serious relationship. Please let me know about your availability and if you wish to meet.

Please WhatsApp me also on [removed - please don't post phone numbers here] I believe it would be great to have a quick intro chat before the initial meeting as well as it will be fair for you to see my photos as well. I very respect you and your time and understand you receive millions of messages from random people, but I'm not looking for one night adventure and would love to spend time with a person who actually likes me. Looking forward to find out if we click together (hope so),

He doesn't mention anything about payment, so he is another deluded looking for a FWB on an escort site.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 06 January 2017, 09:13:15 pm
Quote from: seleranda on 06 January 2017, 03:37:00 pm
He doesn't mention anything about payment, so he is another deluded looking for a FWB on an escort site.

Yep. This type want it all: a 'relationship' with no commitment...they will pay at first then will get secretly offended at being expected to pay because subconsciously they are just offering initial payment to persuade you to meet them.
I believe this is the worst kind of man. True users who masquerade as 'good guys'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 06 January 2017, 10:17:21 pm
Was on cam earlier and in free chat for a brief second was really busy, a guy id seen in 2015 popped in and said I need to book a meet, my usual well please call for bookings, said he would and then he said.......I cant wait to come over that pussy, I said I dont think you will, his amazing message back was.....iv had the snip  ??? :FF righteho  ::) ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 07 January 2017, 01:20:33 am

Dear ......
I hope you had an enjoyable break over Christmas? I have recently joined and saw your profile, you look stunning and I enjoyed reading your profile. I have never been with an escort before. Obviously you do this to earn money but do you enjoy it as well? What things turn you on so that you enjoy your clients?
All the best




 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Loulou41 on 07 January 2017, 11:15:27 pm
I can come over for an hour and we can kiss and cuddle

After telling him I had finished work at 5 and it's now nearly 11 pm and I'm about to go to bed oh hell yes come over you little dweeb because I just can't wait to be held and cuddled and kissed for an hour probably for free because you're so caring and want to look after me. Oh wait a minute erm no fuck off you pathetic moron as I said I'm finished WORK and that's what you are, work, now do one and let me relax you little turd!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissFlint on 07 January 2017, 11:30:08 pm
Client rang me to book and I asked how long he wanted to book for, he answered "how long can you last?" I said I should be asking you that! His question annoyed me so I said let's forget about it. He then asked "can you squirt?" a question which always makes me hang up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 08 January 2017, 02:52:53 pm
Lol always "can you squirt?" like it's just something that works on demand. Then I tell them if they wanted to watch me masturbate I could guarantee I'd squirt for them but then they say "But I want to make you squirt" and I tell them it probably won't work unless they follow my instructions.

Then they turn up and instead of listening to what I want them to do they ram fingers into me while lapping like a dog on my clit.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 08 January 2017, 03:18:58 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 08 January 2017, 02:52:53 pm
Lol always "can you squirt?" like it's just something that works on demand. Then I tell them if they wanted to watch me masturbate I could guarantee I'd squirt for them but then they say "But I want to make you squirt" and I tell them it probably won't work unless they follow my instructions.

Then they turn up and instead of listening to what I want them to do they ram fingers into me while lapping like a dog on my clit.


Yes the "Are you a squirter??" whilst fingering/licking in the totally wrong way gets on my nerves. It occasionally happens unexpectedly but tbh it tires me out so I would rather not do it very often.


I've also had a few guys ask over the phone "Will you squirt for me please pretty please, say you will go on I love that"  I usually say no but I'll wee on you if you want lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 08 January 2017, 10:14:06 pm
Quote from: katrina on 08 January 2017, 03:18:58 pm

Yes the "Are you a squirter??" whilst fingering/licking in the totally wrong way gets on my nerves. It occasionally happens unexpectedly but tbh it tires me out so I would rather not do it very often.


I've also had a few guys ask over the phone "Will you squirt for me please pretty please, say you will go on I love that"  I usually say no but I'll wee on you if you want lol


It tires me out too so squirting is an extra from now, they don't realize how draining it can be especially in the shower.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 09 January 2017, 03:06:13 am
 :FF :FF :FF

Am xxx. How are you doing tonight?. Love your pics and would like to meet up and give your ass a good pounding baby
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 09 January 2017, 08:35:13 am
Quote from: katrina on 08 January 2017, 03:18:58 pm

Yes the "Are you a squirter??" whilst fingering/licking in the totally wrong way gets on my nerves. It occasionally happens unexpectedly but tbh it tires me out so I would rather not do it very often.


I've also had a few guys ask over the phone "Will you squirt for me please pretty please, say you will go on I love that"  I usually say no but I'll wee on you if you want lol
Ha ha ha ...I use that line ...except I say " I can prob squeeze a bit of pee out " lol  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 09 January 2017, 08:37:22 am
Just had a ...just cos ur English you think you can charge double the going rate are you MAD!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sexymilf on 09 January 2017, 09:32:32 pm
Ive never squirted wth a punter or bf. Feel likr im missing out on something xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 09 January 2017, 10:32:52 pm
Quote from: Sexymilf on 09 January 2017, 09:32:32 pm
Ive never squirted wth a punter or bf. Feel likr im missing out on something xx
I've only done it once , wasn't expecting it , but I don't let on or they'll all be trying to see if their 'magic ' too .
Your not missing much unless you like doing extra laundry , frigs the bed right up ! Lol ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 10 January 2017, 01:15:10 pm
Just arrived at my hotel text me 3pm booking the post code then get a text back saying 'ok thank you, what time can I come? and is the service really good' I do hope this isn't going to be a sign of things to come
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 10 January 2017, 11:12:43 pm
Booking was made, and then he texts asking for a ?20 discount because of his taxi fare. And then kept begging when I told him the booking was cancelled.

Imagine being at a restaurant and asking for money of the bill because you got a taxi there.  :FF What is wrong with them????
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luciexx on 11 January 2017, 09:35:16 am
Re: squirting
Speaking of clients asking if you could do squirting, were these clients aware that squirting is "peeing" on the bed and find this to be so SEXY?

"Study Concludes That Women Who Squirt During Sex Are Actually Peeing"

Female ejaculate is technically the small amount of milky white fluid that?s expressed when climaxing, New Scientist explains. Squirting, on the other hand, results in a much larger gush of a clear fluid, which comes from the urethra, the duct where urine is conveyed from the bladder. The findings, which combine biochemical analyses with pelvic ultrasounds, were published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine on Christmas Eve.

A French team led by Samuel Salama from Hopital Priv? de Parly II recruited seven healthy women?who?ve reported recurrent and massive fluid emission (enough to fill a cup) during sexual stimulation?to undergo ?provoked sexual arousal.? The team conducted pelvic ultrasound scans after urination and during sexual excitation just before and after the squirting event.

All of the women had empty bladders before sexual excitation, however, urine collected just before squirting showed that the bladder was filling up. Urine sampled after squirting revealed that the bladder had been emptied again, revealing the origin of the squirted liquid. "

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fliss on 11 January 2017, 11:36:30 am
Phone call last night:

Him: hi how are you doing I wanted some some advice about male escorting

Me: let me stop you there there is simply no market for it

<<drops call and rolls eyes in an exasperated manner
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kazzle on 11 January 2017, 01:25:48 pm
I don't work Sundays but someone sent me an email asking me to phone him about my availability for the next few weeks. A few hours later he emails again - Sorry, I don't want to do this anymore.

Monday morning another email from him - Can we still work something out?

  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 11 January 2017, 01:26:11 pm
Text , whats your fee today ?
Me: same as always 150
Him: 120 sounds better
Me: not to me it doesn't I'm booked now
Ha ha ha ( should of said sounds more like half hour to me)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 11 January 2017, 03:07:53 pm
Quote from: Luciexx on 11 January 2017, 09:35:16 am
Re: squirting
Speaking of clients asking if you could do squirting, were these clients aware that squirting is "peeing" on the bed and find this to be so SEXY?

"Study Concludes That Women Who Squirt During Sex Are Actually Peeing"

Female ejaculate is technically the small amount of milky white fluid that?s expressed when climaxing, New Scientist explains. Squirting, on the other hand, results in a much larger gush of a clear fluid, which comes from the urethra, the duct where urine is conveyed from the bladder. The findings, which combine biochemical analyses with pelvic ultrasounds, were published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine on Christmas Eve.

A French team led by Samuel Salama from Hopital Priv? de Parly II recruited seven healthy women?who?ve reported recurrent and massive fluid emission (enough to fill a cup) during sexual stimulation?to undergo ?provoked sexual arousal.? The team conducted pelvic ultrasound scans after urination and during sexual excitation just before and after the squirting event.

All of the women had empty bladders before sexual excitation, however, urine collected just before squirting showed that the bladder was filling up. Urine sampled after squirting revealed that the bladder had been emptied again, revealing the origin of the squirted liquid. "

I don't get it, if they were sampling urine then there must have been urine to sample - both times. And how can collecting urine show whether the bladder is filling?  ??? If you're full to bursting then the urine will be more concentrated (hence why a lot of urine dip tests are done with first morning pee, to check hormone levels, protein, etc) but on the few occasions I've squirted it has definitely not smelled anything like normal pee.

Also if I'm reading this right, they got a bunch of women nearly to orgasm and then said "OK can you just stop and have a piss in this cup? Ok thanks, carry on" (which sounds frankly improbable, I find it almost impossible to piss when I'm really turned on) and THEN the women squirted... so if they had just had a piss, where did this extra piss come from? And then after squirting they gave another piss sample even though they had empty bladders? How?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fliss on 11 January 2017, 04:07:30 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 11 January 2017, 03:07:53 pm
I don't get it, if they were sampling urine then there must have been urine to sample - both times. And how can collecting urine show whether the bladder is filling?  ??? If you're full to bursting then the urine will be more concentrated (hence why a lot of urine dip tests are done with first morning pee, to check hormone levels, protein, etc) but on the few occasions I've squirted it has definitely not smelled anything like normal pee.

Also if I'm reading this right, they got a bunch of women nearly to orgasm and then said "OK can you just stop and have a piss in this cup? Ok thanks, carry on" (which sounds frankly improbable, I find it almost impossible to piss when I'm really turned on) and THEN the women squirted... so if they had just had a piss, where did this extra piss come from? And then after squirting they gave another piss sample even though they had empty bladders? How?

As far as I'm concerned any study consisting of only 7 people isn't worth the paper it's written on.

That aside I can say with certainty that whilst there may be traces of urine present in female ejaculate the majority is made up of clear odorless liquid, salts and sugars not to mention ejaculating one cupful wouldn't be considered a lot to prolific squirters!! Creamy liquid is not ejaculate.

This is way off topic anyway I'm sure there's a thread about this these posts can be popped into......

In other words the study is a piece of piss!! Literally...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 11 January 2017, 05:05:17 pm
Quote from: Fliss on 11 January 2017, 04:07:30 pm
As far as I'm concerned any study consisting of only 7 people isn't worth the paper it's written on.

That aside I can say with certainty that whilst there may be traces of urine present in female ejaculate the majority is made up of clear odorless liquid, salts and sugars not to mention ejaculating one cupful wouldn't be considered a lot to prolific squirters!! Creamy liquid is not ejaculate.

This is way off topic anyway I'm sure there's a thread about this these posts can be popped into......

In other words the study is a piece of piss!! Literally...
Excellent VC and Fliss , it's definitely not pee but I don't think all the detailed study stuff goes with 'how to book an escort world championships '
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 11 January 2017, 05:39:47 pm
You're quite right GP!

Back on topic, I got this blinder yesterday

11:27: ?
12:07: Hey escort you available x

Yeah, that's my name... Gonna start replying with "No punter I am not."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luciexx on 11 January 2017, 06:26:44 pm
There have been other articles to confirm that squirting is "peeing".   Mind you that it's a skill itself, to release pee, involuntarily.  If you have ever had an ultrasound scan, it can show where fluids are, "fluids" wouldn't suddenly pop up from nowhere.  It's a clear anatomical fact.  Fluids are in the bladder, fluids passing via your urethra is basically, "pee".  There's nowhere in the vagina where so much fluid can be realistically stored.  Ultrasound can spot where fluids are, in the bladder.  Minds you, I don't think men care if it's
 peeing or squirting.  No difference.  Sorry for going off topic.  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 11 January 2017, 06:36:41 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 11 January 2017, 05:39:47 pm
You're quite right GP!

Back on topic, I got this blinder yesterday

11:27: ?
12:07: Hey escort you available x

Yeah, that's my name... Gonna start replying with "No punter I am not."
Lmao ..I had one 120 sounds good to me when I said my fee ...so felt like saying "me too for half hour" am peeing self laughing now excuse pun!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fliss on 11 January 2017, 06:59:09 pm
Quote from: Luciexx on 11 January 2017, 06:26:44 pm
There have been other articles to confirm that squirting is "peeing".   Mind you that it's a skill itself, to release pee, involuntarily.  If you have ever had an ultrasound scan, it can show where fluids are, "fluids" wouldn't suddenly pop up from nowhere.  It's a clear anatomical fact.  Fluids are in the bladder, fluids passing via your urethra is basically, "pee".  There's nowhere in the vagina where so much fluid can be realistically stored.  Ultrasound can spot where fluids are, in the bladder.  Minds you, I don't think men care if it's
 peeing or squirting.  No difference.  Sorry for going off topic.  :)

Articles however cannot top real life experience.  The liquid isn't stored! It's created in a process of arousal. Pee smells, ejaculate doesn't.

The reason so many are convinced it's pee are partly to do with the banning of female ejaculation in porn in many countries as they decided with little proof to class it as urine.

Sorry for remaining off topic but there is a lot of misinformation about squirting and I sometimes feel the need to educate as I am practically experienced in this...

I hand the thread back over to How Not to Book...

Edit...didn't see the rash of the new posts first or wouldn't have bothered posting this
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissFlint on 11 January 2017, 07:54:36 pm
This text made me laugh and cringe at the same time:
"Hi would you do 10mins of French kiss for ?20"

My hourly rate in minutes divided by 6 is more than that and I state on my profile I don't do even do quickies. If I did do quickies I would charge substantially more than my hourly rate divided by 4 and 10 minutes is less than a quickie. I wonder if anyone actually accepts these kind of demands. If had to do 10 minutes of solid FK I would charge more too as I find it more invasive than sex.

PS. I missed still with the camp that believes squirting is just peeing and have read loads of articles on this. If it is true it's never happened to me and I hate being asked if I can do it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 12 January 2017, 07:14:18 am
MissFlint I do so agree with you French kissing IS more invasive than sex and half of them have horrid repugnant breath.....  Yeugh!  I only offer at discretion .....  I don't advertise quickies as it leads to disrespectful bookings I have found but I do do them occasionally if the guy asks and sounds normal and I am desperate for cash that week.  Which happens occasionally but not very often luckily.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 12 January 2017, 09:53:12 am
"Before we put a booking in place, can I just confirm the services you're after?"

"Yeah, an hour of pure passion and a Bj."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 12 January 2017, 05:56:35 pm
gday bb hru free 2mor x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luciexx on 12 January 2017, 06:11:43 pm


Amy has kindly added the new posts on squirting under:

SQUIRTING THREAD.

Quote from: Fliss on 11 January 2017, 04:07:30 pm

In other words the study is a piece of piss!! Literally...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 12 January 2017, 06:40:39 pm
After receiving numerous texts from someone over the weeks he sent one today...

Hi I know u ignore texts but just finishing work. Any appointments today if so I will fone wen finished thanks.

If he already knows I ignore texts as written clearly on my profile why keep sending them?

After half an hour comes....

Gonna have to work on you.


I don't think so.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 12 January 2017, 07:14:32 pm
You busy tonight?
I love big tits and eating pussy
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 13 January 2017, 10:50:42 am
A client rings up n makes out his internet went and couldnt read my profile yet he managed to get my number and scroll my pics. Well im used to this timewasting tatic so anyway my attitude changed and he was like are ya okay? I said nah duck im just having a massive shit. He started nervously laughing and was like ok ok. He asked my rates and i just said ive gotta wipe my arse now so need to get off the phone pal. All i heard as the phone was going down was sorry to bother you when youre on the toilet..  ;D
Im terrible for winding them up
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 13 January 2017, 11:37:15 am
'Hi do you see married men and are you discreet?'

'Well clearly your not discreet are you, because you don't have to disclose anything about your marital status do you..' :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fliss on 13 January 2017, 12:07:35 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 13 January 2017, 11:37:15 am
'Hi do you see married men and are you discreet?'

'Well clearly your not discreet are you, because you don't have to disclose anything about your marital status do you..' :FF

No I hang a big P for prostitute on my front door :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jill on 13 January 2017, 12:10:41 pm
An email I received 3 times now and which I ignored asked if I am married as he does not see married escorts.
How would he know? We can tell as many fibs as they can.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 13 January 2017, 12:21:59 pm
Quote from: Jill on 13 January 2017, 12:10:41 pm
An email I received 3 times now and which I ignored asked if I am married as he does not see married escorts.
How would he know? We can tell as many fibs as they can.
Tempting to reply with 'and I don't see clients that ask stupid and inappropriate questions.'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 13 January 2017, 08:37:19 pm
Quote from: MrsTomHardy on 13 January 2017, 10:50:42 am
A client rings up n makes out his internet went and couldnt read my profile yet he managed to get my number and scroll my pics. Well im used to this timewasting tatic so anyway my attitude changed and he was like are ya okay? I said nah duck im just having a massive shit. He started nervously laughing and was like ok ok. He asked my rates and i just said ive gotta wipe my arse now so need to get off the phone pal. All i heard as the phone was going down was sorry to bother you when youre on the toilet..  ;D
Im terrible for winding them up
There's always enough time for them to have grabbed the phone number! I had one today...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 14 January 2017, 12:36:41 pm
Hi would you do half hour for 60
Me..nope

Head ( what I want to reply with) wouldn't do 15 mins for that ( and that's not about the money anything it's neighbours plus it's pretty much half my half hour rate )

Had a few banterers this week , it's my policy never to book even if they offer more .
I can understand them trying ( I probably would if I didn't actually do it and realise) but it's insulting to me especially as some clients say I should put it up, I'm not going to)

I always feel 'so that's what you think I'm worth'
So no booking.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 14 January 2017, 01:41:06 pm
Text at 10.29: Hi darling how much do you take for full service?
Text at 11.08: Hi darling do you take 100 for full service with anal? (I don't even offer anal, which is clear on all my ads)
Call at 12:48: Hi darling, mumble mumble mumble, 100?
Me: I BEG your pardon?
Him: You do for 100?
Me: No.
<click>

While I can understand how you might haggle with a service provider in other industries by saying "cash job" for example, ALL our jobs are cash - it's not like that makes any difference. There is literally nothing a punter can offer me that might justify me dropping my prices, unless it's booking a shorter time. If he'd said "Can you do 45 mins for 100" I'd have probably agreed.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 14 January 2017, 07:27:17 pm
It might not be your thing but I just thought I'd mention it.

If you live near xx Im taking a judicial style caning from a dominatrix? If you'd be interested in popping along to watch.

It's more fetish type fun , it's plain simple turn up in xx and then be stripped and shackled to a punishment frame and given 20 full force strokes to the bare buttocks.

I know its not for everyone but just thought I would ask and see if you'd be interested in coming along to view it. There wouldn't be payment involved but your more than free to swing by and view it. That's if your curios etc.

To add I have never done it before and haven't got a clue how much it will hurt but going to give it a go anyway.

Let me know anyway and thanks for reading xx

Keep having fun x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 14 January 2017, 08:36:43 pm
So this guy wants an audience for his humiliation so he can get off even more on the fact you are watching him?

Euuuyyyhhhh is what I'd reply to that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 14 January 2017, 09:58:45 pm
Oh for heavens sake.   Thought last night was the full moon

Quote
Well I hope you don't mind but I have a scenario for you...a slightly different take on claiming a whole hand...and I know it's only fantasy but can you remember Thing (the walking hand) from the Addams Family? Well, do you think you'd enjoy it if you could somehow catch or buy him from somewhere and bring him home...plopping down in your sofa and placing him in your lap...letting him roam around innocently, constantly blocking his exits so that he can't leave your cosy arena as you slowly tug your skirt out from under him until he is resting on your smooth naked thighs...feeling his movements brush and tickle against your soft flesh as your pussy throbs and drools silently below him, like a mouth sensing prey near...your hungry eyes gazing down at him as you very gradually part your thighs until he starts to sink between them, finally slipping onto your skirt below, the swollen smile of your glistening vulva towering over him as your thighs open wide to reveal your wicked intentions, surrounding him in your hands before he can escape, restraining him, feeling him panic as he realises what you want to do with him...as you lift him up and very gently bunch his fingers together, whispering softly "shhhhh....shhh...there there....you're all mine now..." as you spread your silky jaws wide and gently offer him to your glistening gape...feeling him struggling to escape...his desperate movements delighting you as he frantically tries to flee from the mouth of your pussy that is slowly swallowing him alive...relentlessly coaxing him deeper and deeper until you feel yourself envelop his entire being, your entrance gathering greedily around him, drawing him into your world of silk, closing up until nothing remains other than the feint twitch on your lips from his movements within...using your contractions to draw him ever deeper as you close your thighs to seal his fate and lie back to focus on the drama unfolding within you...rhythmically milking pleasure from him with your contractions as you contemplate his release...does that sound like something you could enjoy? x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 14 January 2017, 09:59:41 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 14 January 2017, 08:36:43 pm
So this guy wants an audience for his humiliation so he can get off even more on the fact you are watching him?

Euuuyyyhhhh is what I'd reply to that.


I would reply yes I will be happy to watch it for x amount (hourly fee)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 15 January 2017, 09:44:21 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 14 January 2017, 09:58:45 pm
Oh for heavens sake.   Thought last night was the full moon

After reading that little beauty I would have to ask him if he still wanted an apt as he has clearly wanked himself off writing that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cherryfcuk on 15 January 2017, 10:05:36 pm
Isn't it annoying when they cannot read your schedule, the amount of people who cannot take two seconds

- when you available

have you read my profile?

- says your available all the time  :FF
- hope you get blah blah....

you need new glasses sweetie!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HelenaB on 15 January 2017, 11:30:20 pm
Text:
"Hey, got your number of twitter. What service do you offer? x"
Then a photo of him looking sorry for himself.


 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 16 January 2017, 04:33:44 pm
Call from a young very cocky sounding lad.

Him..Where are ya? (my back's up with his attitude straight away)
Me...I'm finished.
Him...How much?
Me...How old?
Him...21
Me...Too young!
I put the phone down.

Be obnoxious and I'll give it straight back.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 16 January 2017, 05:17:56 pm
Text just received: "?200 I have to give to any girl ...my fantasies tease me with a kitchen knife over my stomach and chest and strangle me and tread on my stomach with high heels on (a full address and post code) (anytime)"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 16 January 2017, 07:21:21 pm
TEXT MESSAGES:

MR X: Can I book?
ME: Of course.  It was a lot of fun having you not turn up TWICE in one day.  Yes, I always enjoy being messed around.  What time do you fancy not turning up today, sweetie? :-*
MR X: What about tomorrow?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tinkerbell on 17 January 2017, 11:20:28 am
Him: 'Are you available today?'
Me: 'No I am not working today sorry'
Him: 'Couldn't you squeeze me in for an hour?'
Me: 'No I'm at home with my family'
Him: 'That wouldn't bother me'
Me: 'Jog on'

And they wonder why we ignore certain messages. If ever there was a demonstration that ignoring an initial message would have been far easier, this is it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 17 January 2017, 12:19:02 pm
First dickhead of the day...bloke emails me on AW to ask if  I'd see him as he is very obese and apparently 'nasty girls'  have turned him down because they were worried about him breaking their bed.Firstly I don't know about anyone else but we are all entitled to turn clients down if we are not comfortable about something and I highly doubt they were being 'nasty' when turning him down!I've had my bed broken several times due to very overweight men flopping down hard on the mattress and it's fecking annoying!
Also the underlying issue is if I then also turn him down does  that make me a 'nasty girl' as well?! guess so!
I'm a bbw myself so I am not weightist btw!
Anyway I gave him the benefit of the doubt and asked when he wanted to book and he replied asking if I had read his  feedback because he is so proud of it (every single piece of feedback mentioned he has a large cock in such a way it was like he had asked them to write it)..sorry instant turn off for me when a client bangs on about mutual backslapping feedback from a woman he paid for a shag..hardly an achievement or an actual endorsement! :FF
Second numpty of the day 'Do you come to London?'
'No'..'Ok do you live in your house alone?'...'Why is that relevant to you?'..'Well because I want an overnight'
'Ok so you are scanning backpage for an escort,you come across my profile for Leeds that states I do not offer overnights so why exactly are you ringing me?'...'er er er'..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Just An Escort on 17 January 2017, 01:08:21 pm
I had a guy yesterday who text to enquire about my availability and then an hour later decided to tell me he'd found a girl with cheaper rates who did more services.

And then a few hours after that he text again to say he'd had a great time with her and definitely would not come and see me because my rates are way too high in comparison to hers for what I offer.

I had never heard from this guy before and just said that I wasn't sure why he was telling me this but I'm happy with my rates and there's no need for him to contact me again and added him to my block list.

No idea what he thought he'd achieve with all that?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 17 January 2017, 03:18:06 pm
Email just now on AW  ???  :FF

Hi there have been looking at your profile and you look like you may be sexy fun. I'm new to this so trying to choose the right girl and need to be discreet. What is the earliest booking I can make? Just to let you know am writing this email with my cock in my hand.
Best regards
David x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 17 January 2017, 03:43:43 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 17 January 2017, 03:18:06 pm
Just to let you know am writing this email with my cock in my hand.

I hope you replied
"Just need to let you know I read your email with my finger up my nose."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 17 January 2017, 04:15:17 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 17 January 2017, 03:43:43 pm
I hope you replied
"Just need to let you know I read your email with my finger up my nose."

I deleted it lol Normally I would have fired something back but im feeling good and relaxed and want to keep it that way  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: cherryfcuk on 17 January 2017, 06:56:01 pm
- do you offer sex?

No sweetie just jam sandwiches with cups of tea and custard creams.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 17 January 2017, 07:42:58 pm
Quote from: cherryfcuk on 17 January 2017, 06:56:01 pm
- do you offer sex?

No sweetie just jam sandwiches with cups of tea and custard creams.
Mr GP would think you were his ideal date ha ha ha ( we are not together lol) x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 17 January 2017, 10:20:24 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 17 January 2017, 03:18:06 pm
Email just now on AW  ???  :FF

Hi there have been looking at your profile and you look like you may be sexy fun. I'm new to this so trying to choose the right girl and need to be discreet. What is the earliest booking I can make? Just to let you know am writing this email with my cock in my hand.
Best regards
David x

One word. Begins in T ends in R, 6 letters.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mariah on 17 January 2017, 11:00:30 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 17 January 2017, 03:43:43 pm
I hope you replied
"Just need to let you know I read your email with my finger up my nose."

Lool, that really made me laugh!  ;D
Another alternative response; "just to let you know that I'm replying with vomit running out of my mouth".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 17 January 2017, 11:08:10 pm
Quote from: Shewolf on 17 January 2017, 10:20:24 pm
One word. Begins in T ends in R, 6 letters.
Is it supposed to be a 'W'  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 18 January 2017, 08:16:02 am
Quote from: Guiltypleasure on 17 January 2017, 11:08:10 pm
Is it supposed to be a 'W'  ;D
Bit slow on the uptake , got it it's a 'T' but basically along the same road I went down ! LMAO
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 18 January 2017, 04:44:59 pm
Yawn

Hi xx

You look amazing xx

I am Josh and I would love to meet you but I always ask the Escort first if they mind me being a bit self conscious of my cock size - its very, very big. Its very long and very thick and most Girls wont try oral or penetration due to this. So, I am always a bit nervous and I do see Girls and they seem okay but you never know what they are thinking LOL xx

So I hope you don't mind me asking.

Thanks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SweetAngel on 18 January 2017, 05:42:38 pm
AW email:  1. U available for 30min in call today
2. I am in the same area please babe let me know
3. I can come at 5 (email written at 4:40) but you have to let me know if you are free babe
4. I am ready to come pls let me know babe
ME: I don't read my AW emails in my working days, call me on the number shown in my profile
Email again: Can I come?
2nd email: I can make my way send me your postcode
Me: ignore
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SweetAngel on 18 January 2017, 05:42:47 pm
AW email:  1. U available for 30min in call today
2. I am in the same area please babe let me know
3. I can come at 5 (email written at 4:40) but you have to let me know if you are free babe
4. I am ready to come pls let me know babe
ME: I don't read my AW emails in my working days, call me on the number shown in my profile
Email again: Can I come?
2nd email: I can make my way send me your postcode
Me: ignore
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 18 January 2017, 10:53:18 pm
Had a very smarmy 60+ year old phone today asking about booking me tomorrow, he asked if I offer RO to which I said yes then then said 'Oh good, I'm very experienced at it, I had a good teacher so I'm sure I can satisfy you and make you cum'
Yuck! yuck! yuck! My flesh crawls and I feel dirty after these conversations.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jill on 18 January 2017, 11:31:59 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 18 January 2017, 10:53:18 pm
Had a very smarmy 60+ year old phone today asking about booking me tomorrow, he asked if I offer RO to which I said yes then then said 'Oh good, I'm very experienced at it, I had a good teacher so I'm sure I can satisfy you and make you cum'
Yuck! yuck! yuck! My flesh crawls and I feel dirty after these conversations.

Jeez if I had someone say stuff like that in their first (or any) phone call I would end the call asap and wipe my hands of them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SweetAngel on 19 January 2017, 12:35:06 am
Quote from: wishlist on 18 January 2017, 04:44:59 pm
Yawn

Hi xx

You look amazing xx

I am Josh and I would love to meet you but I always ask the Escort first if they mind me being a bit self conscious of my cock size - its very, very big. Its very long and very thick and most Girls wont try oral or penetration due to this. So, I am always a bit nervous and I do see Girls and they seem okay but you never know what they are thinking LOL xx

So I hope you don't mind me asking.

Thanks

Recieved absolutely the same!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 19 January 2017, 12:51:29 am
Quote from: mature helen on 18 January 2017, 10:53:18 pm
Had a very smarmy 60+ year old phone today asking about booking me tomorrow, he asked if I offer RO to which I said yes then then said 'Oh good, I'm very experienced at it, I had a good teacher so I'm sure I can satisfy you and make you cum'
Yuck! yuck! yuck! My flesh crawls and I feel dirty after these conversations.

Surely he just means that some lady was really good at teaching him how to do it? I've said in the past that I can do *X* very well because I had a good teacher - I didn't mean a school teacher!

(the rest of the convo - about how he is sure he can make you cum - would put me off anyway!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 19 January 2017, 09:16:14 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 19 January 2017, 12:51:29 am
Surely he just means that some lady was really good at teaching him how to do it? I've said in the past that I can do *X* very well because I had a good teacher - I didn't mean a school teacher!

(the rest of the convo - about how he is sure he can make you cum - would put me off anyway!)
For me its the way he was so smarmy and self assured about his oral technique as if one woman can teach a man to satisfy all women, he was talking as if he was a grand master of cunnilingus and would give me such pleasure and I was in for a real treat  it just made my skin crawl, most men think they have a good technique but in reality they don't have a clue what they're doing down there when they are lapping like a dog drinking from a water bowl, what works for one woman doesn't work for others but he was too cocky to understand that.
I just like them to ask if I receive RO and leave it at that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LovePod on 19 January 2017, 09:17:53 am
Please form an orderly queue ladies  ;D

email on AW, copy and paste

Hi I'm currently on tour in the st10 area
I'm looking for a clean escort who's got Certs to prove ,to do cream pie pics and movies with
My clients love the cream pie fantasy
And although yes I offer it there are stipulations
I've it costs an extra ?500 must have a dated text or certificate and I use a home testing kit whic is ?10 extra
They are 100% efficient
Only had one client pony up the dough so far but it's great and the girls get off on the pregnancy thing lol
2 out of three ask me to take off the condom and cum in them
Like fuk I would Jesus
Anyway I digress
Would you be interested in shared content and I've got a professional photographer and he wants to shoot a soft own porno in February would you be interested babe as your stunning
Mike

 :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 19 January 2017, 09:52:54 am
Quote from: mature helen on 18 January 2017, 10:53:18 pm
Had a very smarmy 60+ year old phone today asking about booking me tomorrow, he asked if I offer RO to which I said yes then then said 'Oh good, I'm very experienced at it, I had a good teacher so I'm sure I can satisfy you and make you cum'
Yuck! yuck! yuck! My flesh crawls and I feel dirty after these conversations.

Why are 60+ like this? I had one exactly the same the other week. Then he said, so you insist on condoms then?

Oh yes!!!  >:( >:( >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 19 January 2017, 09:56:51 am
Quote from: Gypsy on 19 January 2017, 09:52:54 am
Why are 60+ like this? I had one exactly the same the other week. Then he said, so you insist on condoms then?

Oh yes!!!  >:( >:( >:(

Yes, the older the client, the more likely they seem to ask for bareback. I think it's just a sign of a generation that didn't get the safe sex message.

When I have clients who go soft when it's time to put the condom on, they are invariably my own age or older. The younger guys stay rock hard.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 19 January 2017, 11:06:51 am
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 19 January 2017, 09:56:51 am
Yes, the older the client, the more likely they seem to ask for bareback. I think it's just a sign of a generation that didn't get the safe sex message.

When I have clients who go soft when it's time to put the condom on, they are invariably my own age or older. The younger guys stay rock hard.
I have some older guys who think it's ok to BB because they have had prostate issues and don't ejaculate but I still won't , but they really think it's ok .
Plus I wouldn't want to have sex without , it defines work/ play ( Mr GP) to me x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 19 January 2017, 11:08:49 am
Text
Fancy some fun sex with a 23 yr old for free?
Me
No ,but come and play with my friends for free if you want !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 19 January 2017, 02:25:57 pm
woke up to a text simply saying "rates!"

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 19 January 2017, 06:11:57 pm
Quote from: Guiltypleasure on 19 January 2017, 11:06:51 am
I have some older guys who think it's ok to BB because they have had prostrate issues and don't ejaculate but I still won't , but they really think it's ok .
Plus I wouldn't want to have sex without , it defines work/ play ( Mr GP) to me x

Whats the guy not ejaculating gota do with sti's?  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 19 January 2017, 06:33:09 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 19 January 2017, 06:11:57 pm
Whats the guy not ejaculating gota do with sti's?  ???


Same as the ones who whittle on about having had a vasectomy...Its irrelevant what op they've had or not had they're still not putting bare dick in me!! A guy emailed me via aw the other week asking if he paid well would I consider bareback because that's what he's looking for, he said he's married and had the snip, I said no way but out of curiosity wasn't he worried about passing on an sti or even HIV to his wife? His reply "Yes of course I'm worried that's why I asked you because you advertise that you DON'T do it!!!"   
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 19 January 2017, 06:40:24 pm
So if you agree to do BB on the sly for extra money with him,how many other blokes who pay extra do you say yes to?They really are thick as mince sometimes aren't they?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 19 January 2017, 06:45:20 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 19 January 2017, 06:40:24 pm
So if you agree to do BB on the sly for extra money with him,how many other blokes who pay extra do you say yes to?They really are thick as mince sometimes aren't they?


Exactly!! How does he know what I'm doing and not doing with clients or out of work?!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 19 January 2017, 08:00:51 pm
i hate hate ones who send you bloody stories, but when all they send is "hi" it pisses me right off

the one this evening i replied
"are you looking to make an appointment as its unclear from your in depth introductory message"

his response.

"yes" 

ffs, this much information i feel like i really know him already!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 19 January 2017, 08:02:06 pm
night of the long chatters tonight!

no sooner had i hit send here i get one with just "x"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 19 January 2017, 08:44:31 pm
Egyptian with barely legible accent. Went on about how amazing I look, then asked if I did anal. Shocked and disappointed reply when I said no. Then asked if he could have two hours for the price of one because he knew I'd enjoy myself so much...  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 20 January 2017, 03:00:08 am
Quote from: Gypsy on 19 January 2017, 09:52:54 am
Why are 60+ like this? I had one exactly the same the other week. Then he said, so you insist on condoms then?

A lot of older people (men AND women) don't care regarding the risk/reward situation!! They would rather risk catching a STI (even if it's a lifelong one, cos it doesn't matter so much when you're older, apparantly) than use protection!!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissFlint on 20 January 2017, 07:48:05 pm
A client called after I answered all he said was: Can you text me your address? No greeting, nothing. I told him I needed a quick chat first. This seems to be a fairly common call these days, quite a lot of guys have called and just said, What's your postcode? I wonder if any other escorts give them that info without having a quick conversation first.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 20 January 2017, 08:23:34 pm
Quote from: MissFlint on 20 January 2017, 07:48:05 pm
A client called after I answered all he said was: Can you text me your address? No greeting, nothing. I told him I needed a quick chat first. This seems to be a fairly common call these days, quite a lot of guys have called and just said, What's your postcode? I wonder if any other escorts give them that info without having a quick conversation first.

Depending on my mood, I either just hang up or suggest that we speak a bit first (as you say you did)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissFlint on 20 January 2017, 10:50:36 pm
I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds this annoying!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 20 January 2017, 10:51:52 pm
The guys who text "postcode" I think are maybe used to seeing girls in parlours. I don't ever text my postcode to someone like this. I just tell them to ring to discuss a booking.

Today's gem:
10.15 I can to meet you please
10.16 [My work name]
22.54 When I can to meet you please
22.55 [My work name]
22.56 Let me know please

Noooope.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 January 2017, 11:11:53 pm
 ::)Patronising,ill informed,discount hunter and creepy all in one!
Dear Bibi,
Many thanks for replying.  Now I have a name and a location, I will see if you are on AW.
I am feeling a little inspired after hearing that my place of work is proposing a 4 day week ... which could help me greatly in rekindling a hobby.

I used to visit girls on AW for photo taking appointments. Although I would offer/pay a posing fee ... often far less than a girl?s usual hourly rate ... the girl?s would have copies of any shots taken for their own promotional uses. Varying levels of content ... but curves in lingerie being a particular favourite ... with masks available if preferred.

I have never been sure who the female members of ( punting forum) actually are ... or whether they are girls looking to try out ?the hobby? or not. Hence my rather random approach in contacting you ... and so checking the waters. Some may appreciate a helping hand before properly committing themselves.
Properly preparing and attending a meeting in just the one day never really worked out! As for the growing trend in using phone selfies ... sometimes a more relaxed pose is called for x
Be safe  x

 

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 21 January 2017, 10:54:07 am
Quote from: MissFlint on 20 January 2017, 10:50:36 pm
I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds this annoying!

You most certainly aren't!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 21 January 2017, 07:01:20 pm
Text today:
"Sit on my mouth unberwater"
 ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 21 January 2017, 07:46:27 pm
C**k worship - do you offer this

I couldn't resist replying my profile does state gfe

No I do not i do normal oral.

I suppose i could build a mini alter with your c**k poking out and light candles around it if that floats your boat

I can't believe he replied
"Normal oral would be ok for me then

Let me know
Just a normal meet up gfe"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 21 January 2017, 10:34:41 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 21 January 2017, 07:01:20 pm
Text today:
"Sit on my mouth unberwater"
 ???


That's just how he would say it if you were to sit on his face whilst he was underwater lmao
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 22 January 2017, 05:50:04 pm
"?30 for sit on face u cum now"

That was the best of the nonsensical texts I got today.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Shewolf on 22 January 2017, 08:52:42 pm
Sounds like the underwater man. Thick as.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 22 January 2017, 09:02:52 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 20 January 2017, 03:00:08 am
A lot of older people (men AND women) don't care regarding the risk/reward situation!! They would rather risk catching a STI (even if it's a lifelong one, cos it doesn't matter so much when you're older, apparantly) than use protection!!

A few older clients have actually said this to me "Ah I would prefer to not use condoms, it doesn't matter if I catch anything I'm old anyway" On both occasions I was too astonished to ask them what age has to do with it??!!!


I think the younger guys are a lot more clued up on sti's Maybe the older ones missed sex education. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 22 January 2017, 11:04:06 pm
Hi saw you on aw do you want to make some films? I've got a great cock!

Yes if you can take Anal I know some of my friends would like to film you  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 23 January 2017, 10:52:31 pm
During an inane ping pong exchange , for my defence the guy has 20 amazing feedbacks , he is god's gift to escorts .

"
I can see that you have been doing this a couple of years so may I ask your motivation and whether you are indepent and enjoying the time meeting people x

"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 24 January 2017, 09:50:17 am
Quote from: katrina on 22 January 2017, 09:02:52 pm
A few older clients have actually said this to me "Ah I would prefer to not use condoms, it doesn't matter if I catch anything I'm old anyway" On both occasions I was too astonished to ask them what age has to do with it??!!!


I think the younger guys are a lot more clued up on sti's Maybe the older ones missed sex education.

So, they don't care if they're riddled, they just want unprotected sex to pass on all of their diseases to you. How generous  ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 24 January 2017, 05:37:17 pm
Had this gem via AW.

Hi looking for an incall. Where are you staying. Street or Postcode.

In my tagline: Outcalls to hotels within Glasgow city centre and Ayrshire (minimum 24hrs notice)

1st line of main profile: Please note: If I am doing any incall days, the dates and times will be clearly advertised just above. If there is nothing there I am not doing incalls.

I mean  :FF  :FF  :FF  :FF  :FF  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: loubyloo on 24 January 2017, 06:38:45 pm
My favourite today
Text one.....hey bby

Text two......you do anal

Ffs
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 25 January 2017, 02:27:56 pm
The Jungle Book moron is back  :FF
Hes got 18 aliases now. EIGHTEEN!!!! Wtf!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 25 January 2017, 02:34:55 pm
Quote from: SweetAngel on 19 January 2017, 12:35:06 am
Recieved absolutely the same!  ;D

Oh wait I had Josh but he told me his cock was tiny !
So if we do maths then his cock must be just average right?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 25 January 2017, 02:43:24 pm
Ever had guys texting you the word "Outcall" followed by (presumably their) post code???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: southamptonbabe on 25 January 2017, 11:10:20 pm
Hi,

I plan to be in xxx next week and just wondering if you are available. I'm 43 and like the idea of strap-on play, high heel in my ass etc.

I only have a small penis so I wouldn't expect much in return.
Would you be able to use your high heel on me? I assume it will be a 6inch heel?

 :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 25 January 2017, 11:16:20 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 25 January 2017, 02:43:24 pm
Ever had guys texting you the word "Outcall" followed by (presumably their) post code???
Yep !
One the other day called and said "what's your postcode "?
Me: that's a nice hello ! Why?
Him: I'm driving on the so and so motorway so where are you ? And what's the postcode ?
Me: well it's irrelevant as I'm booked!

It does baffle me when they appear surprised ......
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 25 January 2017, 11:23:38 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 18 January 2017, 04:44:59 pm
Yawn

Hi xx

You look amazing xx

I am Josh and I would love to meet you but I always ask the Escort first if they mind me being a bit self conscious of my cock size - its very, very big. Its very long and very thick and most Girls wont try oral or penetration due to this. So, I am always a bit nervous and I do see Girls and they seem okay but you never know what they are thinking LOL xx



So I hope you don't mind me asking.


I got today too!
Thanks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 26 January 2017, 11:04:16 am
Got this today:

"Hey, id love to book you for an hr but i dont know what i want. could you guide me... its my first time...."


he says with 21 escort feedback.... xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 26 January 2017, 11:33:49 am
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 25 January 2017, 02:34:55 pm
Oh wait I had Josh but he told me his cock was tiny !
So if we do maths then his cock must be just average right?!
I had it yesterday saying it was so small could I just look at it and reassure him it's ok.
I replied saying : but your a Dom looking for subs right
His profile pic is him in a latex/ PVC full head mask !

He said: oh I was just playing about with that
I said "I wouldn't send that message to anyone else they might not be as patient as me !! "
Basically through aw so there's a trail.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 26 January 2017, 12:11:27 pm
Yesterday evening. I was waiting for my dinner delivery and I'm bitchy when I'm hungry so I picked up.

Him, slurring and mumbling, struggling to speak: you available soon?
Me: sure, as soon as you sober up.
Him: now? I'm driving. Address?
Me: police station.
Him: you have anal?
Me: no but I have a baseball bat.
Him: ah you funny!
Me: hang up and block.

He was maybe 21  :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hadley on 26 January 2017, 05:19:31 pm
People telling me that I "have" to do things. Had two today.

"I won't be able to see you during your available times so you will have to arrange to see me earlier in the day instead"

"I'm not going to be able to be with you for our meet at X o'clock (in 2 minutes time) so you will have to put it back by 1 hour"

Yup, right. I just don't reply and see how long it takes them to work it out
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 27 January 2017, 08:30:05 am
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 25 January 2017, 02:43:24 pm
Ever had guys texting you the word "Outcall" followed by (presumably their) post code???

yep bloody rude that is. I had "Outcall now XXXXXX" last week, the charmer then called me a few days later sounding intoxicated so I wished him luck finding an escort.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 27 January 2017, 12:04:06 pm
Quote from: Chatterly on 27 January 2017, 08:30:05 am
yep bloody rude that is. I had "Outcall now XXXXXX" last week, the charmer then called me a few days later sounding intoxicated so I wished him luck finding an escort.

I have it on my profile that I need 24 hour notice for an Outcall.
Sometimes when I'm in a mean mood and a moron type calls saying " you free for an Outcall" I ask in my sweet dumb blonde voice "oh yes of course! Are we talking tomorrow afternoon or evening?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 27 January 2017, 12:16:36 pm
text to my phone

'Hi u do army lads lv'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 27 January 2017, 12:43:00 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 27 January 2017, 12:16:36 pm
text to my phone

'Hi u do army lads lv'

No, marines only. I got a thing for NCIS  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 27 January 2017, 12:49:05 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 27 January 2017, 12:43:00 pm
No, marines only. I got a thing for NCIS  ;D

Dam wish id replied with that lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 27 January 2017, 01:06:04 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 27 January 2017, 12:49:05 pm
Dam wish id replied with that lol

I replied that once. A marine called me. A young guy, sounds lovely on the phone. So I literally scream "oh I LOOOOVE NCIS"
There was this huge moment of silence and he says "I don't know what that is but I love Game of Thrones!"
Best booking ever!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 27 January 2017, 10:05:27 pm
Text received tonight

Hi sweetheart I'm xxxx 48yrs from xxxxx a tad shy you are gorgeous pity your so far away I live in a 3 bed house the 2 biggest bedrooms are spare if you wanted a second base to work from you can have either room and I would only charge you ?50 for either room a month and 30 minutes of you time a month you would have to decorate to your likeing and you could hav as many client around as you wish for heres my number xxxxxxxx I'm on watsapp luv xxxxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 28 January 2017, 09:17:31 am
Quote from: mature helen on 27 January 2017, 10:05:27 pm
Text received tonight

Hi sweetheart I'm xxxx 48yrs from xxxxx a tad shy you are gorgeous pity your so far away I live in a 3 bed house the 2 biggest bedrooms are spare if you wanted a second base to work from you can have either room and I would only charge you ?50 for either room a month and 30 minutes of you time a month you would have to decorate to your likeing and you could hav as many client around as you wish for heres my number xxxxxxxx I'm on watsapp luv xxxxx

Gosh, how could you resist?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 28 January 2017, 09:28:25 am
Text received in middle of last night:

'I need you sure I'll pay full whack.'

Pay full whack made me giggle. Not sure why but it gave me a laugh and put a smile on my face  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 28 January 2017, 09:46:58 am
Via text.

Him: Do you offer bareback for extra
Me: Are you mental?
Him: yes

 ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 28 January 2017, 09:48:59 am
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 28 January 2017, 09:46:58 am
Via text.

Him: Do you offer bareback for extra
Me: Are you mental?
Him: yes

 ???
OMG excellent ! Five stars for that , needed a good laugh this morning x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 28 January 2017, 07:43:49 pm
Quote from: Gypsy on 28 January 2017, 09:28:25 am
Text received in middle of last night:

'I need you sure I'll pay full whack.'

Pay full whack made me giggle. Not sure why but it gave me a laugh and put a smile on my face  ;D

They do make me laugh when they come out with stuff like that, as if the fee is optional  ;D


Imagine going into the hairdressers and saying "I need my hair cutting now sure I'll pay full whack  :D lol


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 29 January 2017, 11:39:48 am
Yep they do make me laugh , last week I could of done with some of those just to answer: I'm asleep but if you come around I'm sure there's someone here who'll do a big wack lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 31 January 2017, 10:00:16 am
3am last night ( don't work nights)
Can you send a face pic !
Should of took a selfie and sent that at 3am ( I didn't hear on silent lol)
Number saved so I can get him f he calls lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: candystarbbw on 31 January 2017, 12:31:05 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 27 January 2017, 10:05:27 pm
Text received tonight

Hi sweetheart I'm xxxx 48yrs from xxxxx a tad shy you are gorgeous pity your so far away I live in a 3 bed house the 2 biggest bedrooms are spare if you wanted a second base to work from you can have either room and I would only charge you ?50 for either room a month and 30 minutes of you time a month you would have to decorate to your likeing and you could hav as many client around as you wish for heres my number xxxxxxxx I'm on watsapp luv xxxxx

lol am really lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 01 February 2017, 08:55:09 am
Him - Available
Me - You would get a decent score in scrabble for that
Him - would I
Me - yes but some other words would be better
Him - so have I scored
Me - No
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 01 February 2017, 01:53:36 pm
Phone call..

Him...Hello is that Heather?
Me...Who?
Him...Heather
Me...No wrong number.

I could have corrected him but I thought fuck it, why should I.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 01 February 2017, 02:14:00 pm
By text last night:
Oy!

I saw it this morning and thought Tim Roth! Tim Roth, whom I find crazily sexy, stars in that TV series Lie to Me and he shouts  "oy!" all the time.
He also uses "love" a lot. I go all mellowy when I hear "love", bloody Tim!!!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 01 February 2017, 03:50:45 pm
I should have known better than to answer a number from a non-UK country code. I have never ever had an actual booking from anyone using a non-UK mobile.

Him: [unintelligible burble]
Me: Pardon?
Him: Available today?
Me: Yes, what time are you thinking of?
Him: Errrr.... now or later
Me: Which?
Him: Huh?
Me: Where are you now?
Him: Heathrow.
Me: I'm in Yorkshire. How are you proposing to get here?
Him: I come to you.
Me: Do you have a car?
Him. No, I fly.
Me: Good fucking trick, there's no airport here.
Him: I take train
Me: Well that will take you about 3 hours and cost around ?100, how does that sound?
Him: Maybe I think about this.
Me: Yes, and buy a map.

 ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 02 February 2017, 10:55:36 am
Really weird heavy Asian voice this am as soon as I put light on
Him: hi , how are you? ( long and drawn out)
Me: ok how can I help ?
Him: oh well, how can you help, I have lots of money to spend on you ( again weird drawn out)
Me: TA TA

Think this might do the rounds today !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 02 February 2017, 11:10:32 am
Interesting GP, I had a text in the small hours saying "I have ?3400 for you to act out my fantasy"
I replied "That's a very specific amount."  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 03 February 2017, 09:02:39 am
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 02 February 2017, 11:10:32 am
Interesting GP, I had a text in the small hours saying "I have ?3400 for you to act out my fantasy"
I replied "That's a very specific amount."  ???
I had that one too...didn't bother replying.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 03 February 2017, 09:18:39 am
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 02 February 2017, 11:10:32 am
Interesting GP, I had a text in the small hours saying "I have ?3400 for you to act out my fantasy"
I replied "That's a very specific amount."  ???
He sounded a serious weirdo and I've heard plenty ! That's why I put it up ,had a feeling he might be going to just try everyone , he definitely wanted to chat , he sounded so strange , not drugged or anything but like he knew what he was doing  , not a nice feeling, did freak me out a bit !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MistressMorgana on 03 February 2017, 09:35:05 am
Him: High,  good morning, how are you?

Me: I'm great thanks, how are you?

Him: My name is Sam, what's your name?

Me: So you don't know who you're calling?

Him: It's the nice young Scottish lady.

Me: Whose name is?

Him: You tell me.

Me: NO,  Sam. Click.

Followed by a text. 'Sorry I'm nervous. '

Was he fuck. He sounded like a smooth talking, time-wasting twat.

I wish they would all die off. I've had enough of them this week, seriously.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MistressMorgana on 03 February 2017, 09:36:49 am
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 02 February 2017, 11:10:32 am
Interesting GP, I had a text in the small hours saying "I have ?3400 for you to act out my fantasy"
I replied "That's a very specific amount."  ???

I've had that one before. I just deleted it. It's been doing the rounds for a while. Freak!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 03 February 2017, 05:32:39 pm
Bizarre phone conversation with what sounded like an older gent. He wanted to send me a text, and then my text him back telling him about my bust size and whether I was shaven. I asked why we would swap texts like that when we were already speaking on the phone?? I said I didn't do text chat; he said he just found it easier to text. He then asked if sex was with or without a condom and started moaning when I said with, obviously. Eventually I said 'You sound a bit weird' and put the phone down...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 03 February 2017, 05:50:05 pm
Quote from: Kay on 03 February 2017, 05:32:39 pm
Bizarre phone conversation with what sounded like an older gent. He wanted to send me a text, and then my text him back telling him about my bust size and whether I was shaven. I asked why we would swap texts like that when we were already speaking on the phone?? I said I didn't do text chat; he said he just found it easier to text. He then asked if sex was with or without a condom and started moaning when I said with, obviously. Eventually I said 'You sound a bit weird' and put the phone down...

Unless he was "hard of hearing". A few months ago I took a booking from a guy who was "hard of hearing" and stupid me somehow didn't get the meaning. It was all ok until the moment he was in the building (inside!!!) desperately trying to get my flat number and i was still refusing to TEXT it to him telling him to go away!!! I had a friend intervene and dear lord that poor guy just couldn't hear me.

So might be why he told you why it was "easier for him" to text. I had 2 other clients like that but in both cases I knew beforehand.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 03 February 2017, 11:06:58 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 03 February 2017, 05:50:05 pm
Unless he was "hard of hearing". A few months ago I took a booking from a guy who was "hard of hearing" and stupid me somehow didn't get the meaning. It was all ok until the moment he was in the building (inside!!!) desperately trying to get my flat number and i was still refusing to TEXT it to him telling him to go away!!! I had a friend intervene and dear lord that poor guy just couldn't hear me.

So might be why he told you why it was "easier for him" to text. I had 2 other clients like that but in both cases I knew beforehand.

No, his hearing was fine - I suspect he wanted free sexting, and to persuade me to go bareback.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 07 February 2017, 02:09:32 pm
Him: is it you in the photos?
Me: yes.
Him: erm... Are you English?
Me: I'm from the Socialist Republic of Yorkshire
Him: erm...
Me: goodbye.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 07 February 2017, 08:26:06 pm
Got a text whitterer who eventually decided to book.I offered him 6pm which he agreed to but when I asked where he was coming from as it was already 5:20  he then cancelled.So that was that.
He then sent a text saying he can never get hold of me and then proceeded to point out that he tried to book awhile ago and I could only offer him 30 mins (probably true but so what?).
I told him that I was probably busy and obviously he wanted longer than I could offer.He replied with 'Yes but I wanted an hour'.
At this point he pretty much got a text telling him I found his last few texts weird and he would be better getting hold of other ladies..what a plonker! ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 07 February 2017, 09:36:55 pm
Yesterday
Him - Are you free tomorrow (already in phone as only if desperate)
Me - No but i can let you know if anyone cancels (in case no-one booked!)
Him - yes please
Me (later yesterday when i realised how little i had made) - I have had a cancellation tomorrow at 3
Him - I am busy tomorrow now
Me - Ok

Today
Him - Do you have any appointments
Me - I offered you 3pm today by text yesterday you said you were busy
Him - Oh forget it you are too picky
Me - I forwarded him the texts
Him - Oh i forgot about them i had had a drink I will see you at 3 then
Me - Oh no you won't don't forget how picky I am
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 07 February 2017, 11:01:46 pm
I got back from lunch today, very happy and the prick just ruined my mood :FF

Him: good afternoon, is this *my name*?
The whole sentence pronounced in a slow sophisticated upperclass arshehole tone with a slight hint of disgust on my name as if my name were HERPES:)
Me: yes, it is. And what can i do for you today?
Him, going condescending for a change: Oh, good English!
Me: (after a moment of deliberate silence) Yes, it's always surprising what good schools can get you!
Him: So it's xxx per hour and how many times can I cum?
Me: oh but thank you for checking my rates, have you had the pleasure of checking the rest of my profile?
Him: I have no time for this, can I cum three times?

Normally I warn them that I'm going to hang up before I hang up. This time I just thought "surpriiiiiise!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MelissaS on 07 February 2017, 11:41:55 pm
"I'd love a go on you for an hour"

Excuse you?  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 08 February 2017, 02:54:50 pm
Text this morning:

Him: Hi *insert working name* can I see you tomorrow at 2pm?

Me: Sorry I'm fully booked tomorrow. If you'd like you could come see me this afternoon or on Friday I have much more free time for you.

Him:  I can only do tomorrow, can you cancel somebody else?

Me: Yeah sure let me just cancel all these people who booked days in advance so they could see me tomorrow just for you. Shall I also get you a cigar and massage your feet?

Him: What are your rates?

So somebody who hasn't even bothered to properly read my profile with rates and everything else wants me to cancel other clients to make space for him just because he doesn't feel like just picking another day.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 09 February 2017, 11:03:07 am
telephone call

Him...blah blah I like the look of you, more blah blah, more smarmy talk (then) Are you open minded?
Me..That depends
Him..The escort I normally see is away I normally pay her an extra ?800 for a special service would you be interested?
Me...(I'm not at all interested he's either a fantasist or a sicko and I don't want to hear either scenario) No I'm not interested better you find someone more extreme or taboo by the sound of it.
Him..(Surprised I haven't jumped on his offer) Oh are you sure? Don't you want to know what it is?
Me..(I don't even want to enquire what this guy is wanting so I end it) Bye.
As I'm cutting it short he just had to get in, 'Its just for you to play with my dog'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: southamptonbabe on 09 February 2017, 02:26:32 pm
Him: Hi are you available now?
Me: Hi sorry fully booked. Free from 5pm
Him: That's a shame. Wanted anal without condom for 300

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 10 February 2017, 09:58:16 am
Subject:   hi bb


can we have fuck in your park free interested for that
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 10 February 2017, 10:23:50 am
Quote from: Lucie268 on 10 February 2017, 09:58:16 am
Subject:   hi bb


can we have fuck in your park free interested for that

In your park? Are you the Queen?  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 10 February 2017, 01:11:42 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 10 February 2017, 09:58:16 am
Subject:   hi bb


can we have fuck in your park free interested for that

How could you resist such a well penned lucrative offer
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 10 February 2017, 03:00:35 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 10 February 2017, 09:58:16 am
Subject:   hi bb


can we have fuck in your park free interested for that

Lucie,

If this was an email on aw then remember: it's important to reply!
Otherwise you could get suspended  :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guava on 12 February 2017, 11:33:15 am
Text message:

'How would you like a bit of spunk in the morning?xx'

I didn't reply but the reply in my head was, 'About as much as I'd like a cup of cold sick'.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 12 February 2017, 03:42:30 pm
Him at 1am- Hi xx
him- outcalls?
Me- read my profile
him- ok x sorry x
A hour and half passes and im fast asleep
him- only found your number on viva xxx not sure what you want? (wtf  ???)
him- xxx
him- just want to meet for fuck x
him- ???
him- show me your ass x
him- xxxxx
Another 2 hours pass
Him- cock

What the actual fuck  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SpaceHopper on 12 February 2017, 05:27:03 pm
Slightly different as I'm working in a parlour atm so communicating face to face...

Him: Do you do student discounts?
Me: Laughs so hard I nearly do a little wee.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 13 February 2017, 02:56:04 pm
I rarely reply but I am bored and it is quiet so I have plenty of time to waste.
Just now

Him:
Hello

My name is Adam. I am 35 years old and I am 5'10 tall with medium build with black hair and dark brown eyes.

I was wondering if you would be interested in going together to a nice spa where we can enjoy the facilities together (sauna, steam room, Jacuzzi). I'm not looking for sex or anything sexual... just thought it would be nice to relax and keep each other company and talk...

Just to clarify... this wont be an escort booking but more of a mutual relaxing spa day so it wont be payment for time but I will pay for the spa for us both.

How does that sound to you?

My number is ****

ME:
Thank you for email.

This is an escort website so all escorts are paid for their time.

Men are required to pay for my time regardless of sex or no sex.

Good luck in finding a lady on this website that will happily give your their time for free.

Once again thank you for contacting me.

Him: Hi A

Thanks for your reply

Yes ladies are on here to make money but not all think of just money. Some are interested in a relaxing time together with someone intelligent and have a nice conversation while relaxing.

I have met with quite a few very nice ladies from this site and we had a lovely time at the spa.

ME:
That is good for you. You do not have feedback that backs you up.

However time must always be compensated.

Good luck take care.  ( BLOCKED HIM)

What an idiot
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 13 February 2017, 04:03:17 pm
I think I've heard it all now...


Text just received:

Hi Kat, do you see married men? x   

 ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 13 February 2017, 04:25:11 pm
Quote from: katrina on 13 February 2017, 04:03:17 pm
Hi Kat, do you see married men? x   

"Yes, as long as you bring the wife along."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 13 February 2017, 04:36:40 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 13 February 2017, 04:25:11 pm
"Yes, as long as you bring the wife along."

 ;D


I couldn't think of a reply to him so I just texted "Yes I see all men who are clean polite and respectful its my job." He then replied "I've seen you before but not for a while...I need to re visit"     ???  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 13 February 2017, 04:40:33 pm
What, but in the mean time he's got married? LOL
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 13 February 2017, 04:52:10 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 13 February 2017, 04:40:33 pm
What, but in the mean time he's got married? LOL


I don't know but in the mean time he seems to have turned into a total jerk...He's just texted me asking if I've "got any vids online"  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 13 February 2017, 05:42:03 pm
Do you think he has actually seen you, or has he got you mixed up with someone else?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 13 February 2017, 07:40:42 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 13 February 2017, 05:42:03 pm
Do you think he has actually seen you, or has he got you mixed up with someone else?

I've no idea VC, but I just had another look at the texts (with my reading glasses on this time lol) and it says "Are you in any vids online?"  which is an odd thing to say too...Maybe he has got me mixed up with someone else
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 13 February 2017, 07:47:20 pm
Just had a call while I was eating dinner.

Him: You available tonight?
Me: I'm fully booked sorry.
Him: What?
Me: I'm fully booked.
Him: What do you mean?
Me: I mean I've got one further appointment, and then I'm finishing.
Him: At what time?
Me: 8pm. You know, like it says on my profile.
Him: I've never before had a lady tell me she's fully booked.
Me: OK.
Him: Can you see me later?
Me: No, because I'll have finished working.
Him: But could you see me after your last customer?
Me: No, because I'll have finished working.
Him: Can you ring me if you change your mind?
Me: I'll call you if my last customer cancels [[will I fuck]]
Him: OK! Is it you in your photos?
Me: No, it's my Grandma.
Him: Hahahaha! [[goddamn. Was hoping it would put him off]]

Saved him in my phone as "Idiot" and then realised he's the same plum who texted me last night:

01:44 Hey you feee?
01:45 Come and stay at mine we can have good time I near town centre x
05:37 ?

He then follows up just now with
Just let me know I only want you sexy x u sound nice x

So tempted to reply "I'm not nice. Fuck off."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 13 February 2017, 08:43:21 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 10 February 2017, 10:23:50 am
In your park? Are you the Queen?  :D

hahahaha I am in my park a lot actually
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 13 February 2017, 08:53:07 pm
30 minute incall now
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 13 February 2017, 10:15:29 pm
Quote from: katrina on 13 February 2017, 04:03:17 pm
I think I've heard it all now...


Text just received:

Hi Kat, do you see married men? x   

 ???
Had this text twice before probably the same guy and a total timewaster.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 13 February 2017, 10:26:38 pm
Answered the phone to someone who sounded like he was underwater.Told him it was a badline and ended the call.Cue 15 calls in an hour and a half interspersed with texts 'How much 30 mins?..I see you 30 mins..postcode..postcod plz...Tell me postcode...I come see you..!I even texted back to let him know I was busy and couldn't take answer calls at the moment!
How about you feck off and learn some manners and not be so desperate you are draining my phone!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 14 February 2017, 12:57:18 pm
Yesterday I got an email from a guy with a very explicit alias. Checked his profile and his likes: watersports, hardsports, BDSM and such. He was asking me for a role play where I would teach him some "taboo" vocabulary and last time I said yes to "taboo" I ended up with a paedophile.

I also read the field reports he wrote for a few ladies, full of very graphic details, and then politely declined the booking. His email was nicely written so I thought he deserved a polite answer.

Next I get a (polite) email calling me Spanish Inquisition and him being all surprised how thorough (some of us) ladies are. Followed by him promising he's now only into vanilla bookings and can even create a brand new profile if I'm disgusted by kinky and dirty. Would I reconsider. And how painstaking it is to have this whole conversation by email...!!!

Me fuming! Wrote back to the moron that he may try counting how many occurrences of "please call me to make a booking" there are all over my profile. As to me reading his feedback well asshole you do your homework I do mine!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 14 February 2017, 01:28:20 pm
Message received at 8.45 last night 'Let's discuss a booking.  Call me on xxxx for details'  It's best to call after 6pm'.  Thinking it's spam, I message back saying my number is x, give me a call when it's convenient.  Response received

'Aw have you no credit?  Shame.  Call the number provided if you want.  Otherwise I'll find someone else'. 

 :FF

First time in a long time I've been speechless!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 14 February 2017, 01:42:33 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 14 February 2017, 01:28:20 pm
Message received at 8.45 last night 'Let's discuss a booking.  Call me on xxxx for details'  It's best to call after 6pm'.  Thinking it's spam, I message back saying my number is x, give me a call when it's convenient.  Response received

'Aw have you no credit?  Shame.  Call the number provided if you want.  Otherwise I'll find someone else'. 

 :FF

First time in a long time I've been speechless!

Wow! That's a way to start  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 14 February 2017, 01:46:26 pm
Man called me yesterday looking for an hour of domination. He gave his name and it all sounded perfectly normal until he called me by request and I just knew instantly he was a TW. Why do tw's have a tone to their voice of mild amusement, over confidence and over familiarity? He asked whether i would be seeing anyone else before him and if so could I keep their cum.

I know some people genuinely request this but combined with his overall tone, I knew it wasn't genuine. I told him no, he was the first booking for that day and then 20 minutes later, he sent me a text requesting the same thing. I cancelled the booking. Couldn't be doing with him   ::)

Big TW giveaway for me is - Are you working today? Then they don't give a specific time  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 14 February 2017, 01:49:45 pm
Quote from: Gypsy on 14 February 2017, 01:46:26 pm

Big TW giveaway for me is - Are you working today? Then they don't give a specific time  :FF

Yes!  Or I'm outcall only, and they go, are you working?  OK I'll send you my postcode.  I always say where are you roughly, then they start with how much is it, what services do you do?

OK so....you were about to send me your postcode to come and see you, but you don't know if it's ?100 or ?100,000, and you don't know if you're going to get sex or a request to take me to dinner?  Riiiggghhht.....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 14 February 2017, 02:45:53 pm
Quote from: Gypsy on 14 February 2017, 01:46:26 pm
...until he called me by request...
What does this mean?  He contacted you by text after the phonecall?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 14 February 2017, 02:52:12 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 14 February 2017, 01:28:20 pm
Message received at 8.45 last night 'Let's discuss a booking.  Call me on xxxx for details'  It's best to call after 6pm'.  Thinking it's spam, I message back saying my number is x, give me a call when it's convenient.  Response received

'Aw have you no credit?  Shame.  Call the number provided if you want.  Otherwise I'll find someone else'. 

 :FF

First time in a long time I've been speechless!
I too was speechless when I first got a call from a guy who said "Hello.  Can you call me back?"  Like you, I somehow found it in myself NOT to meet this request.  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 14 February 2017, 03:06:45 pm
A guy just called me saying "I'm not sure if you have it, I'm looking for anal gape"

My first thought was "fuck did he lose something?!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jasmine89 on 14 February 2017, 10:04:15 pm
Text message this evening:
"Hey"
I thought there would be another message to follow but no that was it
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 15 February 2017, 01:22:24 pm
Quote from: jasmine89 on 14 February 2017, 10:04:15 pm
Text message this evening:
"Hey"
I thought there would be another message to follow but no that was it

Every morning when I turn my work phone on I've got at least one 'hey' or 'hi'.   Nothing else. 

I was working late one night and bored so I messaged 'hi' back to see what the guy would do.....I could hear him stutter through the text 'Oh, eh, I never thought I'd get a reply'.  Why send it then?

Men are odd.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 15 February 2017, 08:49:29 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 14 February 2017, 02:45:53 pm
What does this mean?  He contacted you by text after the phonecall?
[/quote

No, he text initially. Then I asked him to call.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 15 February 2017, 09:38:44 pm
Well since putting an ad on vivastreet yesterday I've had 2 no shows, a load of text pests and another who I only asked to "call to arrange" , he starts asking me all sorts of questions as if its a dating site or something!!!   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 15 February 2017, 11:01:52 pm
Via text:Do u do owo?
Me:Yes
Him:Do u do cim?
Me:Yep
Him:Would you like my 9 inch cock deep in your throat?
Me:Nope
Him:Er why not is it too big?
Me:No I just don't see ignorant clients who can't even muster up enough courtesy to say 'hello' before banging on about their winkies.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 16 February 2017, 09:30:10 am
Books a hour at 10.30 then 15 mins later says can't make time but can make 4. I reply i am finishing at 3 he says I will let you know when i get there. Oh no you won't I will be out by then.
Why can they not understand we have a life and don't just sit here waiting for them to decide to visit
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 16 February 2017, 04:35:13 pm
Quote from: nemature on 16 February 2017, 09:30:10 am
Books a hour at 10.30 then 15 mins later says can't make time but can make 4. I reply i am finishing at 3 he says I will let you know when i get there. Oh no you won't I will be out by then.
Why can they not understand we have a life and don't just sit here waiting for them to decide to visit

Like when they want an outcall 'NOW'.  Yeah....because I'm sitting here in sussies and full make up just waiting on one of you to call....I had a guy last night way over the other side of my (major) city complain that I said it would be 35-45 minutes....I actually thought that was an awesome ETA, but nope.  He wanted 'NOW'.  :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 16 February 2017, 08:58:17 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 16 February 2017, 04:35:13 pm
Like when they want an outcall 'NOW'.  Yeah....because I'm sitting here in sussies and full make up just waiting on one of you to call....I had a guy last night way over the other side of my (major) city complain that I said it would be 35-45 minutes....I actually thought that was an awesome ETA, but nope.  He wanted 'NOW'.  :FF

You know it's like when they say they want incall NOW. Now I just say "yes of course" because half of them are half wit time wasters and the other half suddenly wakes up and says "ok I'm setting off I'll be there in 20 Minutes"
So is it NOW or is it TWENTY freaking minutes????

When I get a random idiot telling me he wants an Outcall NOW I say sweetly "well I want a pink elephant, can you get me one?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 17 February 2017, 01:15:52 am
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 14 February 2017, 03:06:45 pm
A guy just called me saying "I'm not sure if you have it, I'm looking for anal gape"

My first thought was "fuck did he lose something?!"
That's the funniest thing ever......did you say "if you pay enough it'll speak to you too" xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 17 February 2017, 09:40:25 am
Quote from: Guiltypleasure on 17 February 2017, 01:15:52 am
That's the funniest thing ever......did you say "if you pay enough it'll speak to you too" xx

Imagine if you had ventriloquist skills. I'd love to be down all four with my arse in the air and then throw my voice "You're a very naughty boy!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: candystarbbw on 17 February 2017, 09:47:40 am
Quote from: katrina on 13 February 2017, 04:03:17 pm
I think I've heard it all now...


Text just received:

Hi Kat, do you see married men? x   

 ???
hahahahaah this had me lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 17 February 2017, 11:58:22 am
Quote from: Guiltypleasure on 17 February 2017, 01:15:52 am
That's the funniest thing ever......did you say "if you pay enough it'll speak to you too" xx

Grand Canyon... yeah darling come visit my Grand Canyon:)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 18 February 2017, 01:36:22 pm
I'm probably sounding really thick but what is anal gape? X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 18 February 2017, 01:48:29 pm
Quote from: MrsTomHardy on 18 February 2017, 01:36:22 pm
I'm probably sounding really thick but what is anal gape? X

Exactly. I had to ask him.
So it's what you see in porn movies when the woman gets anal penetration for a while, anus is dillated and stays wide open...
This being said I offer GFE:)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 18 February 2017, 01:52:41 pm
I see, just when you thought you knew it all, ya always learning in this job.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 18 February 2017, 02:03:38 pm
Quote from: MrsTomHardy on 18 February 2017, 01:52:41 pm
I see, just when you thought you knew it all, ya always learning in this job.  ;D

Yeah. Except that this time I made it really clear to him I would rather not know the term :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 18 February 2017, 05:17:48 pm
"Are you available this evening?"

Sent at almost midnight, on my week off which is stated on my profile. And I don't work past 8pm when I'm not on my week off as is also stated on my profile. Combined with the negative feedback it was deleted immediately to be followed up at almost 2am "I can cum now."  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 18 February 2017, 08:53:35 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 17 February 2017, 09:40:25 am
Imagine if you had ventriloquist skills. I'd love to be down all four with my arse in the air and then throw my voice "You're a very naughty boy!"

Nah VC, it would be more like "arssiloquist" skills.
More commonly known as "farting" (and that's quite in demand) :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 19 February 2017, 09:19:32 am
"Hi, I'm 18, bit of a strange one, really just need some decent company over a coffee or something, feeling a little low at the moment, not sure if you offer that sort of thing? X"

Could be ok except his profile was created in 2012 and states he is 26...also has no feedback.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 19 February 2017, 10:40:43 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 19 February 2017, 09:19:32 am
"Hi, I'm 18, bit of a strange one, really just need some decent company over a coffee or something, feeling a little low at the moment, not sure if you offer that sort of thing? X"

Could be ok except his profile was created in 2012 and states he is 26...also has no feedback.

set his AW profile up at 13......impressive
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 20 February 2017, 10:12:10 am
This morning I woke up to this email:

Subject: Available? Now?

Sex???

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 20 February 2017, 07:52:58 pm
call from a drunk sounding older man just asked...

i was wondering if you'd like to come on a date with me tonight
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 20 February 2017, 07:54:20 pm
One wanted an out call then said he wants to be discrete if he can meet me a few streets away in the dark to walk back to his. Does he think I would agree to this not many escorts would, any way I said to him he would find it odd if I asked to meet him in a dark alley. (Getting my point across) He phoned back saying he will give his addresses tomorrow. Let's see.... Either way am busy with in calls as hardly do out calls my price is going up for soon then I'll be motivated for lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 20 February 2017, 11:27:35 pm
"Hi curvygal, I saw your ad on backpage.  I was wondering if you'd be interested in having an affair with me?  Am 33.  Text back'.

At 3 figures per hour, that would be one expensive affair....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SweetAngel on 21 February 2017, 12:13:30 am
"Hi I am new to this. Can I pay you for 10 min handjob and you leave me nice feedback. What should I do?"

"My cock is 11 inch should I pay extra"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 21 February 2017, 01:50:06 am
Quote from: SweetAngel on 21 February 2017, 12:13:30 am
"Hi I am new to this. Can I pay you for 10 min handjob and you leave me nice feedback. What should I do?"

"My cock is 11 inch should I pay extra"
Ha ha ha , tell him you measure guys with a tape and if he's fibbing it's double lol !

Mind you if he did book and it was bloody hell ...!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SweetAngel on 21 February 2017, 10:29:24 am
Quote from: Guiltypleasure on 21 February 2017, 01:50:06 am
Ha ha ha , tell him you measure guys with a tape and if he's fibbing it's double lol !

Mind you if he did book and it was bloody hell ...!!!

Haha that guy gives me new idea to charge extra for bigger package  ;D
However am sure he is not even the half of 11 inches. Trying to boost his confidence spaming the girls around  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 21 February 2017, 01:48:28 pm
'Are you free this afternoon?'

Then he does a huuuuge sniff.

Even if he'd turned out to be James McAvoy there's no way I could have seen him after hearing the inside of his nostrils :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 22 February 2017, 09:07:08 am
"Do you do the anal?" I was slightly annoyed because they hadn't read my details but the way they asked for this slightly amused me to make up for that!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 22 February 2017, 11:01:47 am
Quote from: Red KB on 22 February 2017, 09:07:08 am
"Do you do the anal?" I was slightly annoyed because they hadn't read my details but the way they asked for this slightly amused me to make up for that!

He doesn't just want anal....he wants THE anal!  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 22 February 2017, 02:25:19 pm
Text exchange today.

Moron: do you have snapchat

10 min later,
Moron: do you have snapchat

Gives me a missed call 5 min later...

20 min later,
Moron: do you have snapchat
And 1 min later:
I have snapchat! do you have snapchat

My reply to the snapchat fan: "Hello dear child, snapchat is for over 18yo only. Delete immediately or I'll go talk to your momma!"


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 22 February 2017, 03:45:03 pm
'will you do a quickie for 20 and let me lick your pussy too'

 ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LittleMinx2 on 22 February 2017, 09:03:38 pm
Had a guy texting me today. He was asking me to crush small animals under heels! Proper sick if he was serious. Could have just been a stupid wind up to get a reaction out of me though.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 22 February 2017, 09:22:16 pm
Quote from: PotatoWarrior on 22 February 2017, 09:03:38 pm
Had a guy texting me today. He was asking me to crush small animals under heels! Proper sick if he was serious. Could have just been a stupid wind up to get a reaction out of me though.

Yes its a fetish, but prob just a fantasist
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 22 February 2017, 10:28:04 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 22 February 2017, 03:45:03 pm
'will you do a quickie for 20 and let me lick your pussy too'

 ???


Yeah I've had that one too "Can I lick you for ?20"


Someone has been emailing me for literally years (since 2012 at least) saying bullshit along the lines of "I've just come into some money" and want to take you on shopping trips, pay weekly into account, want you to rinse my wallet. He's emailed me again today saying he wants a dinner date but to pay more than my fee and also what present should he bring me blah blah blah  ::)  He claims to be early 20's... 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 22 February 2017, 10:33:17 pm
Quote from: katrina on 22 February 2017, 10:28:04 pm
Someone has been emailing me for literally years (since 2012 at least) saying bullshit along the lines of "I've just come into some money" and want to take you on shopping trips, pay weekly into account, want you to rinse my wallet. He's emailed me again today saying he wants a dinner date but to pay more than my fee and also what present should he bring me blah blah blah  ::)  He claims to be early 20's...

Oh god, I think I had him when I first started out. I really thought he was going to buy me some Dior earrings. Cheap bastard never did come through  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LittleMinx2 on 22 February 2017, 10:35:03 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 22 February 2017, 09:22:16 pm
Yes its a fetish, but prob just a fantasist

I was pretty shocked to be honest. Just blocked the number and moved on. I don't get why people would want to watch that. =(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 22 February 2017, 10:47:28 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 22 February 2017, 10:33:17 pm
Oh god, I think I had him when I first started out. I really thought he was going to buy me some Dior earrings. Cheap bastard never did come through  :D


Yeah after all this time he's been emailing I've never had fuck all out of him either lol  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 22 February 2017, 11:51:54 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 22 February 2017, 02:25:19 pm
Text exchange today.

Moron: do you have snapchat

10 min later,
Moron: do you have snapchat

Gives me a missed call 5 min later...

20 min later,
Moron: do you have snapchat
And 1 min later:
I have snapchat! do you have snapchat

My reply to the snapchat fan: "Hello dear child, snapchat is for over 18yo only. Delete immediately or I'll go talk to your momma!"

Yesterday, someone's first text asked me if I had WhatsApp. I said no, I have a dumb phone. Never replied.

Bit bizarre that a booking hinges on a particular app??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 23 February 2017, 08:43:20 am
Its because they don't want to book they want to chat shite and for free!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 23 February 2017, 12:53:19 pm
Quote from: Kay on 22 February 2017, 11:51:54 pm
Yesterday, someone's first text asked me if I had WhatsApp. I said no, I have a dumb phone. Never replied.

Bit bizarre that a booking hinges on a particular app??

I had WhatsApp on my phone for like a month. It was an endless source of cock picks coming in at every hour of night, guys saying "show me more pics so I'll book". Yes of course darling you will, especially if you're texting me from a phone number that's not even 0044 so probably somewhere in a deep shit hole way in Amazonia Forest (no offence to Amazonia here)...

Got rid of WhatsApp. No more cock portfolio on my phone.

I have foreign clients just visiting the UK, yes. I understand that the whole calling/texting on international numbers might be expensive.
But the way I see it is if a guy can't afford calling me or texting me, then how is he supposed to afford ME?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 23 February 2017, 01:26:36 pm
I've now started asking clients to confirm that they've received my text with location details. Had a booking but didn't hear anything from him, so assumed he was a no show. He then rang close to the booking time telling me he was going to be late and I told him I wasn't expecting him at all because he hadn't confirmed. He said 'I just looked at the first part, I didn't read the whole text'. lol says it all doesn't it
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 23 February 2017, 05:35:00 pm
OK, I have 2 from yesterday.

TWAT 1:  Hi CG, how much do you charge, how big are your tits?  Do I have to wear a condom?

ME:  Hi, OK have you had a look at my ad you got my number from, all those details are on there.  Maybe have a read of that and if you still want to book get back to me then?  As for condoms, of course you do.

TWAT 1:  Well, could you just get me off over the phone first and then I'll book?

 ??? :FF

The second, all via text which all my advertising says I don't respond to:

TWAT:  A quick BJ?

TWAT:  ???x

TWAT:  Not out tonight? x

TWAT:  Just a quick bj? x

TWAT:  U Calling?  He (sic) a quick bj?

TWAT:  Hey can't call no cred only free texts xx

TWAT:  If free now head to mines xx  (Because I can mind read and know where he lives?)

TWAT:  Shame xx

TWAT:  Why not speaking? x

TWAT:  EH12 xx  (EH12 is a bit area, am I supposed to stand there shouting and hope he hears or what?)

TWAT:  Hey im just looking for a quick bj lol but only got a small amount in the house so thats a shame.  If u do want to come for like 5 mins and make a profit then EH12 xxxxx

TWAT:  5 min for like 20 quid if you want.  just need something lol.  If you reply via a text yes or no I'll leave you alone lovely x  (Oh hold me back!  The 'lovely' really pissed me off.  And I think you'll be leaving me alone very shortly regardless....)

TWAT:  Wil assume a no.  Take care xxx (no shit sherlock)

TWAT:  I wish u could xxx

Twat 2 is now on my ignore list as '?20 BJ guy'.....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 23 February 2017, 06:52:38 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 23 February 2017, 05:35:00 pm
OK, I have 2 from yesterday.

TWAT 1:  Hi CG, how much do you charge, how big are your tits?  Do I have to wear a condom?

ME:  Hi, OK have you had a look at my ad you got my number from, all those details are on there.  Maybe have a read of that and if you still want to book get back to me then?  As for condoms, of course you do.

TWAT 1:  Well, could you just get me off over the phone first and then I'll book?

 ??? :FF

The second, all via text which all my advertising says I don't respond to:

TWAT:  A quick BJ?

TWAT:  ???x

TWAT:  Not out tonight? x

TWAT:  Just a quick bj? x

TWAT:  U Calling?  He (sic) a quick bj?

TWAT:  Hey can't call no cred only free texts xx

TWAT:  If free now head to mines xx  (Because I can mind read and know where he lives?)

TWAT:  Shame xx

TWAT:  Why not speaking? x

TWAT:  EH12 xx  (EH12 is a bit area, am I supposed to stand there shouting and hope he hears or what?)

TWAT:  Hey im just looking for a quick bj lol but only got a small amount in the house so thats a shame.  If u do want to come for like 5 mins and make a profit then EH12 xxxxx

TWAT:  5 min for like 20 quid if you want.  just need something lol.  If you reply via a text yes or no I'll leave you alone lovely x  (Oh hold me back!  The 'lovely' really pissed me off.  And I think you'll be leaving me alone very shortly regardless....)

TWAT:  Wil assume a no.  Take care xxx (no shit sherlock)

TWAT:  I wish u could xxx

Twat 2 is now on my ignore list as '?20 BJ guy'.....

LMAO!!! Sorry but I'm in love with your twat. Freaking awesome!

Now I don't know how about you but I had a similar twat once. He spent the entire night doing Q&As on my phone. His last text in the morning was "I'm going to block your number"

Yes. Him. Blocking. Me.
Oh for fucks sake banging my head against a wall doesn't express half of my feelings!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 23 February 2017, 11:02:07 pm
ah curvy you're in my old neck of the woods, i think i had the same bloke text.  i never replied to him, but he sent about 8 or 9 messages at time over a couple of weeks.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 23 February 2017, 11:43:11 pm
I know it shouldn't make me wonder but it really does make me wonder how little they read or take on board.
Lovely polite sounding guy texting for a 2 hour outcall at 10:30pm...when my ads have it plastered in capital letters that I don't work after 9pm and I am incall only.. :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 24 February 2017, 01:07:19 am
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 23 February 2017, 11:02:07 pm
ah curvy you're in my old neck of the woods, i think i had the same bloke text.  i never replied to him, but he sent about 8 or 9 messages at time over a couple of weeks.

You know, just once I'd love to respond to one of these guys saying yeah OK big boy I'm on my way and see what they say....they can't seriously think anyone will accept?  But then knowing my luck, they'd send the address and complain if I cancelled!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 24 February 2017, 06:45:08 am
Sounds about par for the course curvy.

Woke this morning and turned on my phone to the message
Wnna be a fuck pig for 11 lads on a stag weekend?
 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 24 February 2017, 07:07:14 am
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 24 February 2017, 06:45:08 am
Sounds about par for the course curvy.

Woke this morning and turned on my phone to the message
Wnna be a fuck pig for 11 lads on a stag weekend?
 :FF

I hope you haven't declined this offer  ;D sounds a wonderful experience  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 24 February 2017, 09:18:30 am
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 24 February 2017, 06:45:08 am
Sounds about par for the course curvy.

Woke this morning and turned on my phone to the message
Wnna be a fuck pig for 11 lads on a stag weekend?
 :FF

Wow, what polite and respectful gents they sound!

I used to have a guy email me asking to see me for a 'skull fuck'.  I obviously had to think long and hard before declining!  I'd never see anyone who asked for a 'skull fuck'.  It crosses between turning my stomach and making me feel like skeletor.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 24 February 2017, 09:55:07 am
Guy calls and goes on about how lovely my photos on but doesn't dare bring up the rest of the details to read so knows nothing about what I offer/charge etc. But will happily dare look at my underwear pics...lazy fucktard!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 24 February 2017, 10:58:56 am
Quote from: Curvygal on 24 February 2017, 09:18:30 am
Wow, what polite and respectful gents they sound!

I used to have a guy email me asking to see me for a 'skull fuck'.  I obviously had to think long and hard before declining!  I'd never see anyone who asked for a 'skull fuck'.  It crosses between turning my stomach and making me feel like skeletor.

Pardon my ignorance, but what the hell is one of those?   ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 24 February 2017, 02:15:24 pm
It's basically them fucking the bejesus out of your mouth deep and hard and usually with lots of gagging.See porn films!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 24 February 2017, 06:52:22 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 24 February 2017, 02:15:24 pm
It's basically them fucking the bejesus out of your mouth deep and hard and usually with lots of gagging.See porn films!

Ah, had one of those once. He gave his name as Pete, so he's in my phone as Pornstar Pete. Needless to say  I haven't answered any of his calls since. Right tw#t.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 24 February 2017, 09:21:02 pm
Quote from: Gypsy on 24 February 2017, 10:58:56 am
Pardon my ignorance, but what the hell is one of those?   ???

I had to google it myself at the time.  Basically what bibi said.  I can do deep throat, I quite like it actually, but 'skull fucking'....nah.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jasmine89 on 25 February 2017, 02:26:53 pm
Message today: How many times can I cum in 15 mins?  :FF ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 25 February 2017, 06:34:34 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 24 February 2017, 09:18:30 am

I used to have a guy email me asking to see me for a 'skull fuck'.

Dear Lord who invents those terms! Yeah, I would fuck his skull that's sure!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 26 February 2017, 04:24:03 am
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 25 February 2017, 06:34:34 pm
Dear Lord who invents those terms! Yeah, I would fuck his skull that's sure!

Actually makes my teeth itch AA....most of the terms don't bother me but that once I find offensive and gross.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 26 February 2017, 10:45:41 am
Quote from: Curvygal on 26 February 2017, 04:24:03 am
Actually makes my teeth itch AA....most of the terms don't bother me but that once I find offensive and gross.

It's what I meant. I'm a big girl, I have no problem with "graphic" vocabulary. Except for when it turns a woman into a piece of meat and is openly degrading.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 26 February 2017, 06:29:21 pm
Hi, how are you? hope you are well.

We are a young couple new to aduktwork and looking for professional models to star in our movies. Who better then you? We would love to work with you.

We are willing to work with you on a content share basis, free professional basis, profile and reputation boosting basis or paid basis.

We can book a hotel and work this week.

Please read our profile for more information and detils and please let us know. This is a great opportunity for us all. Any questions, queries or concerns, please feel free to ask. Thanks very much, all the best and take care.

How can I resist
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 26 February 2017, 10:06:49 pm
Email via AW today

good afternoon
i,m looking for a service that entails a lifelong fantasy of mine it consists of you tricking me into a bridal shop for ,me to have a total bridal fitting inclusive underwear and dress this to be paid by myself over 3/4 fittings for alterations ect if u can arrange this drop me a reply
thx andy
looking next wednesda hun xx

How does this in the remotest way have anything to do with the vanilla GFE I actually offer?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 26 February 2017, 10:27:52 pm
Quote from: nemature on 26 February 2017, 06:29:21 pm
Hi, how are you? hope you are well.

We are a young couple new to aduktwork and looking for professional models to star in our movies. Who better then you? We would love to work with you.

We are willing to work with you on a content share basis, free professional basis, profile and reputation boosting basis or paid basis.

We can book a hotel and work this week.

Please read our profile for more information and detils and please let us know. This is a great opportunity for us all. Any questions, queries or concerns, please feel free to ask. Thanks very much, all the best and take care.

How can I resist

I received an email very similar to that recently. They did not get a reply from me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Laceval on 28 February 2017, 06:37:54 pm
Quote from: PotatoWarrior on 22 February 2017, 09:03:38 pm
Had a guy texting me today. He was asking me to crush small animals under heels! Proper sick if he was serious. Could have just been a stupid wind up to get a reaction out of me though.

Hmmm, I'm new to escorting but have been domming for a while at a non-sex dungeon... We have a house regular who tries to convince mistresses to allow him to bring snails in to crush underfoot. Apparently some past mistresses actually did this. I make him bring oranges instead and another mistress apparently uses jammy dodgers...

Why thoooo?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 28 February 2017, 06:50:48 pm
Quote from: Laceval on 28 February 2017, 06:37:54 pm
Hmmm, I'm new to escorting but have been domming for a while at a non-sex dungeon... We have a house regular who tries to convince mistresses to allow him to bring snails in to crush underfoot. Apparently some past mistresses actually did this. I make him bring oranges instead and another mistress apparently uses jammy dodgers...

Why thoooo?

PMSL - I don't know why jammy dodgers has amused me so much!!1
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 28 February 2017, 07:12:31 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 28 February 2017, 06:50:48 pm
PMSL - I don't know why jammy dodgers has amused me so much!!1

I bet they're a bugger to clean up afterwards !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Working girl on 28 February 2017, 07:46:12 pm
I had the small animal crushing email.......sick buggers
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 01 March 2017, 03:42:16 pm
Ringing up and asking how strict the 25 and over on my profile is and then saying what a shame when I say it's strict hence why it's on my profile!
To me it's as irritating as the blokes that ring and say 'I know you don't offer anal but what if I offer you more money!'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 02 March 2017, 03:27:15 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 01 March 2017, 03:42:16 pm
Ringing up and asking how strict the 25 and over on my profile is and then saying what a shame when I say it's strict hence why it's on my profile!
To me it's as irritating as the blokes that ring and say 'I know you don't offer anal but what if I offer you more money!'

Ugh those guys.

I had it last night on a booking 'let me fuck you bare'.  'no'.  Repeated 6 times then 'what do you want, more money or what?'. 

Also had an email yesterday, my profile clearly says I don't send face pics, 'can you send me face and full body pictures?'

They are just boundary pushers  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 02 March 2017, 06:22:15 pm
I think the ones who have clearly read what it says on your profile but ask anyway are a slightly different breed from your normal boundary pushers who may ask heat of the moment or haven't read your profile at all.They actually know they are being dickheads!
My other pet hate today 'Can I see you tonight?' 'Sorry I'm fully booked tonight,available again tomorrow from 11am until 8pm?' 'Ok can I see you at 11am for one hour' 'Yes that's fine text me at 9am to confirm and I'll send my address details'.'Ok what's your postcode' 'I'll send all that when you confirm' 'Ok but where are you?'..'You are booking me but you don't know roughly where I am even though it tells you on my profile?' 'No'..'I'm in Leeds City Centre'..'Oh well can't you see me tonight'..'Do you remember that I said I was fully booked and you then said you wanted to book me in the morning...''But what about if I came to see you now'..'What about I really don't like seeing pushy people who don't listen?Don't call me again please!'..Phone down..wanker! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 02 March 2017, 11:26:14 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 02 March 2017, 06:22:15 pm
I think the ones who have clearly read what it says on your profile but ask anyway are a slightly different breed from your normal boundary pushers who may ask heat of the moment or haven't read your profile at all.They actually know they are being dickheads!
My other pet hate today 'Can I see you tonight?' 'Sorry I'm fully booked tonight,available again tomorrow from 11am until 8pm?' 'Ok can I see you at 11am for one hour' 'Yes that's fine text me at 9am to confirm and I'll send my address details'.'Ok what's your postcode' 'I'll send all that when you confirm' 'Ok but where are you?'..'You are booking me but you don't know roughly where I am even though it tells you on my profile?' 'No'..'I'm in Leeds City Centre'..'Oh well can't you see me tonight'..'Do you remember that I said I was fully booked and you then said you wanted to book me in the morning...''But what about if I came to see you now'..'What about I really don't like seeing pushy people who don't listen?Don't call me again please!'..Phone down..wanker! :FF

I have one like this at the moment. He sounds perfectly nice and normal over the phone and then he starts with the emails and texts asking to rearrange times, this that and the other. I have absoutely no intention of seeing him now  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 03 March 2017, 05:36:00 pm
I had just finished ordering some things online and was beginning to plan my personal weekend and received a call. "garble garble am I garble garble [the site where my profile is] garble". I said "Yes". *click* He ended the call. What? He didn't sound like the kind of client I want to visit so added him straight to my block list.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 03 March 2017, 05:59:30 pm
'Er is this the sexy bbw?' ::)
'Yes..'
'Is this phone call costing me?'
'What?!?Well it'll be whatever price your mobile provider costs you?'
'Oh right great how big are your tits then?'
Phone down at my end... :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 03 March 2017, 09:26:02 pm
"I'm thinking of booking you"
"Ok so how can I help you today"
"Thought we could just chat for now"
"I have to go now"
"Awwww stay a while"

I cut him off quick sharp!

I hate "awwww"  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 04 March 2017, 02:14:23 am
Quote from: Justine on 03 March 2017, 09:26:02 pm
"I'm thinking of booking you"
"Ok so how can I help you today"
"Thought we could just chat for now"
"I have to go now"
"Awwww stay a while"

I cut him off quick sharp!

I hate "awwww"  ::)

Sounds like a pillock I dealt with yesterday who wanted to "get to know" me because he's thinking of making a booking. Like I have nothing better to do than play 20 questions with a guy wanking.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 04 March 2017, 07:16:02 pm
'Can you give me some on credit and if I don't pay you tell my girlfriend?'

Serioiusly.  Is this the world we are now living in?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kazzle on 05 March 2017, 10:10:32 am
"I'm really interested in arranging a meet but I was wondering if it's possible to pay in cash?"

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Zaracoope1983 on 05 March 2017, 11:49:50 am
Sooo being new to this I'm still really naive (or a bit thick)

So I get an email from a guy, pretty normal I think. Wanting to meet, hotel, 1.5hrs. A bit of detail about what he'd like, all pretty standard to what I've had so far.

We go through some details, alls good.

Then he emailed the day before, no hi or anything, just a random "Do you like veg?"

Well me being me, I think, I this because I'm a big girl, is he being rude..was the booking just to waste time? Etc etc.
So I email back, "well I try and have my 5 a day where possible, I love all fruit and veg except tomatoes, but I'll be concerned over my health thanks, remember YOU booked ME"

To which he replied, "I actually want to fuck you with veg, I love it, I love watching a girl try and insert aubergines, cucumbers, and if you're happy to do that I need to know as I'm going shopping now"

Well what do you say??? How do you know??? I just had to cancel xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 05 March 2017, 12:01:55 pm
Quote from: Zaracoope1983 on 05 March 2017, 11:49:50 am
Sooo being new to this I'm still really naive (or a bit thick)

So I get an email from a guy, pretty normal I think. Wanting to meet, hotel, 1.5hrs. A bit of detail about what he'd like, all pretty standard to what I've had so far.

We go through some details, alls good.

Then he emailed the day before, no hi or anything, just a random "Do you like veg?"

Well me being me, I think, I this because I'm a big girl, is he being rude..was the booking just to waste time? Etc etc.
So I email back, "well I try and have my 5 a day where possible, I love all fruit and veg except tomatoes, but I'll be concerned over my health thanks, remember YOU booked ME"

To which he replied, "I actually want to fuck you with veg, I love it, I love watching a girl try and insert aubergines, cucumbers, and if you're happy to do that I need to know as I'm going shopping now"

Well what do you say??? How do you know??? I just had to cancel xx

Guys like that will never show up to the booking. Idiotic time wasting wankers.

Insert an aubergine  ::) It's the size of a baby's head you plum. Maybe try shoving one up your own arse!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 05 March 2017, 03:04:22 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 04 March 2017, 07:16:02 pm
'Can you give me some on credit and if I don't pay you tell my girlfriend?'

Serioiusly.  Is this the world we are now living in?


Tell him you'll do worse than that if he doesn't pay, you will tell his mummy and daddy  ::)




Just had a reasonable polite email off someone all sounds ok then he says "By the way I'm not single, I'll understand it that's a problem" WTF do grown men really think we do this job in the hope of getting ourselves a boyfriend?!! Its not fucking 'dating'   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 05 March 2017, 03:07:05 pm
Quote from: Kazzle on 05 March 2017, 10:10:32 am
"I'm really interested in arranging a meet but I was wondering if it's possible to pay in cash?"

 ::)

Tell him no that's not possible you only accept payment in magic beans  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Worried93 on 05 March 2017, 04:54:14 pm
Idiot - "Any movement on the price babe xx"
Me - "Only up."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Teddy Bear on 06 March 2017, 09:05:59 pm
Guy calls and goes through the whole charade of making a booking then when it comes to wrapping up the call turns out he is over 200 miles from my location and 'just liked my pics' so can I still visit him for... wait for it... 15 mins?!

I asked him if he had taken his medication today and hung up. WTF????!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 06 March 2017, 09:12:19 pm
Wow how sexy do you look
i would love to please you
i would start by kissing your luscious lips
then i would work my way down removing your breasts
and i would lick and suck your hard nipples
then i would work my way down again lifting your little dress to find you have no knickers on and i would lick and finger your juicy wet pussy tasting all your juices
then i would get you on all fours and i would slide my big hard cock deep inside your dripping wet pussy fucking you deep and hard
how about it
love Paul xxxxxx

Checked his profile

Last Updated:   05/03/2017 18:43:16   Age:   117
Member Since:   11/08/2014 06:51:13   

My reply

I have a lower age limit but i also think that 117 is a bit old for me
 

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 06 March 2017, 09:36:33 pm
Quote from: nemature on 06 March 2017, 09:12:19 pm
Wow how sexy do you look
i would love to please you
i would start by kissing your luscious lips
then i would work my way down removing your breasts
and i would lick and suck your hard nipples
then i would work my way down again lifting your little dress to find you have no knickers on and i would lick and finger your juicy wet pussy tasting all your juices
then i would get you on all fours and i would slide my big hard cock deep inside your dripping wet pussy fucking you deep and hard
how about it
love Paul xxxxxx

Checked his profile

Last Updated:   05/03/2017 18:43:16   Age:   117
Member Since:   11/08/2014 06:51:13   

My reply

I have a lower age limit but i also think that 117 is a bit old for me

He should check the legal status on removing a womans breasts
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 06 March 2017, 09:49:25 pm
Quote from: Worried93 on 05 March 2017, 04:54:14 pm
Idiot - "Any movement on the price babe xx"
Me - "Only up."

 :D :D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 07 March 2017, 09:22:03 am
"Hi sexy babe

Just seen your profile babe
Wow you look stunning . Can't stop wanking over your naughty pics mmm
Can we meet for our first naughty sex session?

PS. Just added some new pics"

I was sure they were of his cock and when i looked I was correct (and it was bent) why does he think telling me he is wanking and directing me to pictures of his cock will make me want to meet him. I know its quiet at the moment but really
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 07 March 2017, 01:53:36 pm
Well one a minute ago he arrived at the landmark then came to the location. He didnt ring my buzzer at all but instead was playing smart arse getting lost. Telling me his on different floor numbers except what the instructions advised. I do this for a reason if they want to act stupid like this more on them.  I felt uneasy so cancelled he wasnt happy but I tried to help over the phone. Plenty of weirdos here.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 07 March 2017, 03:41:25 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 06 March 2017, 09:36:33 pm
He should check the legal status on removing a womans breasts

I just choked on me choccy biscuit! LMAO!! :D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Luciexx on 07 March 2017, 05:32:17 pm
 So, I got this annoying message, from someone who cannot even use his first name after his message, except his AW nick "Horny Toad".    ::)  I seem to remember he messaged me before (not leading to a booking, obviously)

"So I was hoping to arrange something while I'm your area, and depending how we click, it could be mutually beneficial to both of us. ie. I might come to see you a few times while I am over there, or a long appointment an, and I will come and see you again when I am in your neck of the woods. Hope you will reconsider my proposal. :) hugs and xx x.  Horny Toad.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: blue-scorpion on 07 March 2017, 11:24:38 pm
oh dear... some of these are mindbogglingly terrible...  :FF but for me the ones that irritate most are not the weirdos or even the obvious non-followthroughs... but the ones who draw it out like....a separate text/email for every detail? when, where, what you want? like please just send me one email with all the info, I'll confirm, then send the bloody booking form? also, I mean the guy who goes 'hey bb, what you wearing, are u close? i luv you so much can't wait to see you... hope you cant wait too.... yay' when you just txted to say you are on the bus and 30 mins away... it is just so repulsive. I weirdly prefer the men who get abusive to the ones who try to profess their love...  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 08 March 2017, 11:03:52 am
Via text, "Hi my name is george i am half greek half english? x"

Not sure why he included a question mark. He should know his own heritage :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 08 March 2017, 01:29:34 pm
Bloke rings for an hour at 3pm.Asked me how much it was.I had a funny feeling about him so asked him to confirm at 2pm when he said he would be setting off.
Checked on my phone and it was the same bloke who rang yesterday and booked 6pm for an hour but didn't confirm or cancel.
Sent him a polite text reminding him of this.No teply.Then he calls asking if we can do earlier and I said no so he says'Oh so it will be 6pm then?'! 'No that was yesterday when you booked and didn't confirm,today you have booked for 3pm..'I've never spoken to you before'...'Well that's how I know you are full of shit and you won't be seeing me today or any other time don't contact me again!'
Honestly do they think we are that stupid?!? :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 08 March 2017, 03:51:47 pm
Quote from: blue-scorpion on 07 March 2017, 11:24:38 pm
oh dear... some of these are mindbogglingly terrible...  :FF but for me the ones that irritate most are not the weirdos or even the obvious non-followthroughs... but the ones who draw it out like....a separate text/email for every detail? when, where, what you want? like please just send me one email with all the info, I'll confirm, then send the bloody booking form? also, I mean the guy who goes 'hey bb, what you wearing, are u close? i luv you so much can't wait to see you... hope you cant wait too.... yay' when you just txted to say you are on the bus and 30 mins away... it is just so repulsive. I weirdly prefer the men who get abusive to the ones who try to profess their love...  ???


Ah bless they just want it to be like a real date.....But yes I agree its bloody irritating to say the least!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nickyx on 08 March 2017, 07:58:12 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 08 March 2017, 11:03:52 am
Via text, "Hi my name is george i am half greek half english? x"

Not sure why he included a question mark. He should know his own heritage :D
😂😂 funny
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 09 March 2017, 10:34:33 am
A text received after midnight

"Text me for a chat I'm up from London"

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 09 March 2017, 02:28:15 pm
Private number calls, depending on what mood I'm in if I do answer it I will say Hi, let them normally say 'is this so and so from what ever add' and il swiftly say 'please call me back on a non with held number' but the call when like this

me - Hello

him- Can I book in for a empty please

Me - hangs up

I'm not sure if I should be grateful he added please into his rotten question
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 11 March 2017, 10:29:00 am
Repeated texts asking me when I am 'on', I reply with my availability. Texts again on a day I'm not working asking if I'm 'on', I tell him no and remind him that I gave him my available dates and then he says he thought I was 'on' everyday.  ???

Also this doozy:

'I'm a professional masseur and I work for one of Scotland's top football clubs at there training complex. I basically massage men all day. I'd love to get my hands on you. Basically I am offering to pay you to let me give you a full body massage? X'

I said that's fine and I want my full rate and he replies with:

'?40 and I'll give you a professional full body massage and then get to wank and cum on your tits or feet? Xxx'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 11 March 2017, 12:41:19 pm
Ugh it drives me mad when they say things like that. Some people need to learn the price is the price it's non negotiable and they can't dictate what they will do or pay. He sounds like another prick with a foot fetish anyway.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 11 March 2017, 01:27:03 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 11 March 2017, 12:41:19 pm
Ugh it drives me mad when they say things like that. Some people need to learn the price is the price it's non negotiable and they can't dictate what they will do or pay. He sounds like another prick with a foot fetish anyway.

Absolutely. It's especially funny to me when these chancers try the whole 'I'm a masseuse' thing when I get clients who give me massages anyway in bookings with no expectation that it's some kind of service exchange. If you want to touch me, you pay.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 11 March 2017, 08:02:49 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 09 March 2017, 10:34:33 am
A text received after midnight

"Text me for a chat I'm up from London"

So you're expected to be star struck at this amazing man who is up from London  :o Wowee! What planet are these guys on really  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 11 March 2017, 11:16:39 pm
Via text, "Hi my name is george i am half greek half english? x"

Not sure why he included a question mark. He should know his own heritage

Oh I get him occasionally!

Him: Hi my name is George I am half greek half English? x
Me: Did you want to make a booking? (standard answer to stupids)

*two hours pass*

Him: Hi havin a bath

WTF?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 12 March 2017, 10:48:46 pm
Text received last night:  2hr body massage full service no sex ?70

I messaged him back giving him my 2 hour rate, he replied no thanks.  That really pissed me off for some reason (my period came this morning, that may be the reason) so I messaged back asking why on earth I'd want to work for 2 hours for less than my half hour rate, and pointing out that my rates are on my ad so he knew before I messaged, he replied :?? OK?

Grrrrr  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Worried93 on 13 March 2017, 01:49:36 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 12 March 2017, 10:48:46 pm
Text received last night:  2hr body massage full service no sex ?70

I messaged him back giving him my 2 hour rate, he replied no thanks.  That really pissed me off for some reason (my period came this morning, that may be the reason) so I messaged back asking why on earth I'd want to work for 2 hours for less than my half hour rate, and pointing out that my rates are on my ad so he knew before I messaged, he replied :?? OK?

Grrrrr  :FF

I get things like this all the time.
Or I only want a 15 minute blowjob. I don't even offer 15 minutes. Or how much is an hour if we don't have sex?
It's the same frickin' price not my fault if you don't choose to take advantage of all my services.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 13 March 2017, 06:31:14 pm
idiot: where u from
me: please call for bookings
idiot: what u name

me: locks phone and turns tv on  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Zaracoope1983 on 13 March 2017, 09:10:10 pm
Quote
.

Literally George has just text me exactly the same
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 13 March 2017, 11:30:31 pm
Quote from: katrina on 11 March 2017, 08:02:49 pm
So you're expected to be star struck at this amazing man who is up from London  :o Wowee! What planet are these guys on really  ::)
They all think we are lonely and that's why we do this job! Because we are lonely and in need of affection  :'( :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: OFFS on 13 March 2017, 11:49:49 pm
I have adjusted the text/convo for the main points

Him...blah blah and I am not underage (why would you type that in the first place)

all the usual text tennis continued, how do i book etc and says will be in touch later.

3 hours later he asks if I can meet his dress request, rolling my eyes as hate dress requests, I ask what he wants. He replies, a long satin gown (nothing unusual me thinks).....with wellies and rubber gloves having oral sex!!!!!!!! Seriously wtf? Does he think my bedroom is Glastonbury/Holby city?

After having a seriously crap day yesterday, I decided to reply that he was sitting there drugged up with his Uni mates and nothing better to do than make a you tube video.

He replied, he was 60 and horny, so asked him to call.

I was Facetiming my stepmum at the time who knows what I do. At first he sounded arabic but then tells me he is french....but sounded 25. Asked him to converse in French but his french sucks better than i suck cocks. Put the phone down on him as I do know some french and he wasn't speaking it pmsl...and to top it all...perfect english grammar in the text tennis tournament.
 My Stepmum could not stop laughing and actually wet herself.

Must be the same twat that asked me to cook nude in his garage with all his mates in the background trying to stiffle their giggles.

Anyhow....now blocked but did amuse me in a weird way
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 14 March 2017, 07:38:48 am
Are you at the remada [location]? Is it discrete to get your room?

Really would like to feel the power of you taking control and riding me hard, slamming your booty down on me.

Would like you to either hold me down or tie me down and ride me senseless, even if i beg you to stop! keep going non-stop no mercy, forcing me to cum more than once.

You would need a lot stamina and be able to ignore me begging you to stop and lots of edging to start with, don't want to cum too quick the first time.

Also can we try anal sex? [my profile AND my FAQs say I don't do anal]

Can we do 1hour for ?100 [significantly less than my hourly rate]

My reply: No, yes, no, no.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 14 March 2017, 10:21:58 am
'Hello big girl can I have an hour'?
'My name isn't big girl.'
'Sorry can I have an hour your well nice.'
'I don't meet up with men who can't use my actual name.'

Do they actually think you will book them in after they speak to you like that?Maybe they think you find it cute when they give you a pet name or something?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: loubyloo on 14 March 2017, 11:11:02 am
I had a text sent at 1.29 am this morning just saying.............Warrington?

Really?!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 15 March 2017, 10:17:28 am
I think I got that George guy calling me. He was very keen on knowing my breast size and then really REALLY keen to go measure his penis and tell me what size it was. He REALLY thought I'd want to know! I decided he was having a walk as he said it was starting to grow from looking at my pics which was good if he was going to measure it properly. I made the excuse that someone was at my door and promptly blocked him. He tried ringing about a minute later and continued to call another 8 or so times. Some people just can't take the hint!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 15 March 2017, 10:19:57 am
That should be WANK not walk! Stupid phone. My god if all it took for men to get hard one for a walk no woman would be safe out the house, haha.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 15 March 2017, 12:40:48 pm
It's rare I post here, I don't like making fun or moaning about enquiries.

I do need to vent about someone who just phoned, left me feeling rail-roaded and steamed trained over. Wanted short notice, which I can sometimes do, although my website and AW profile explain I am mostly advance notice,  but just spoke so fast, so much information I couldn't think clearly or take everything in - not to mention get a feel for him. My voice rose, he decided we wouldn't get on because he wants a relaxed me. I said fair enough, do understand, then he sets off again thinking it's all back on because I've reassured him.

Err no.

He's also the third person to use the North South divide/differences as reason for miscommunication.

I've also had my accent mimicked recently.

Am I being sensitive?

The person who phoned had tried to book me same day / shortish notice a few weeks ago when I was already fully booked, so sounds like he's very excitable. Phoning and speaking so fast I can hardly process what he's telling me, in such a hurry isn't going to help me be relaxed. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 15 March 2017, 02:22:02 pm
Quote from: Mirror on 15 March 2017, 12:40:48 pm

He's also the third person to use the North South divide/differences as reason for miscommunication.

I've also had my accent mimicked recently.

Am I being sensitive?



Not at all. I'm from London and I get people trying to do a cockney accent at me ("oh you're from Landan are ya? Apples an' pears me ole china"), and sending enquiry messages asking if I could be their "chav slut"... I don't come from or live anywhere near the East End, I sound more South London/North Surrey if anything at all, and I couldn't do "chav" as I'm no good at accents. Yeah but no but.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 15 March 2017, 02:24:48 pm
I also get 'Oh you are actually quite well spoken aren't you?'
Because obviously being a Yorkshire lady and a prossie to boot means I absolutely must sound thick as pig shit and with a poor vocabulary... :FF
Just makes me realise from the off that they haven't read my profile as I don't come across all ee by gum on that either!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 15 March 2017, 02:55:28 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 15 March 2017, 02:22:02 pm
Not at all. I'm from London and I get people trying to do a cockney accent at me ("oh you're from Landan are ya? Apples an' pears me ole china"), and sending enquiry messages asking if I could be their "chav slut"... I don't come from or live anywhere near the East End, I sound more South London/North Surrey if anything at all, and I couldn't do "chav" as I'm no good at accents. Yeah but no but.

They say they are trying to be humorous.

Not to mention the person who laughed when I said I use an old blackberry, I do have other gadgets I simply choose functionality for work  over a ?500 phone.

How many times do we hear the limitations of fancier phones on here? Iphones also need more signal than I get in a lot of locations, in those places they are an expensive alarm clock which probably can't manage a time check.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 15 March 2017, 11:48:12 pm
Via text and as written:liketosuckmydick
Me:Is that your name? :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetmilf on 16 March 2017, 12:33:51 pm
Quote from: Mirror on 15 March 2017, 12:40:48 pm
He's also the third person to use the North South divide/differences as reason for miscommunication.

I've also had my accent mimicked recently.

Am I being sensitive?

The person who phoned had tried to book me same day / shortish notice a few weeks ago when I was already fully booked, so sounds like he's very excitable.

There are quite a few red flags there already. 
The punter ignores the way you normally work and "expect" you to fit around him (which usually won't work but he insists you bend your rules for him because he assumes that you need his cash).  I had a couple of them myself this week.
"excitable"...read "bon**s" = trouble, ahead.

It always amazes me how poorly escorts are treated by some of the men who are behaving badly.  Some of these men clearly got "I need sex now, and you seem suitable, but I hate you paying so much for it, you, whore" and it clearly shows in his interactions with you.   He despises paying for it.  Some men do ignore escorts booking rules and they seem to think you would be desperate enough to put up with his either covert or overt bad manners.  You got his terrible bad manners there.  Best to put the phone down and block the number.

Is this guy a transplanted individual in the North where he now lives? Or, is he just a visitor?    Either way, undesirable.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 16 March 2017, 04:40:57 pm
Quote from: sweetmilf on 16 March 2017, 12:33:51 pm
There are quite a few red flags there already. 
The punter ignores the way you normally work and "expect" you to fit around him (which usually won't work but he insists you bend your rules for him because he assumes that you need his cash).  I had a couple of them myself this week.
"excitable"...read "bon**s" = trouble, ahead.

Would you really take that as a red flag?  I tend to think they are just really keen to see you and being led by their small brain.  I don't take it as a sign of trouble ahead to be honest....maybe I'm wrong.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 16 March 2017, 04:44:14 pm
'Curvygal when are you available for incalls....I'd love to see you sometime soon'.
'OK what kind of time were you looking for?'
'Oh not for today, just sometime soon'

So should I send my availability for the next 7 days?  Or 7 months?   :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 17 March 2017, 08:54:16 am
Text received...

Hi Helen I'm Jay and i'm 35 and from London I never seen an escort before are u on any dating sites cus u r soooo beautiful xxxxx


I feel like replying...Yeah Jay I'm on lots of pay per hour dating sites... but I never text twats.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 17 March 2017, 10:18:52 am
AW Email

Him: Hi.would it be ok to see u today for half hour.i would like to see u right after another client.not cleaned up.would that b ok? Xx

Me: I can't guarantee that as I don't know if/when I will be seeing anyone today yet! If you wish to make a booking regardless then give me a call...

Him: Hi.cant ring u as not private.i would be happy to wait nearby til u have a guy leave.x

Because having a random guy hanging around waiting outside is really private for my clients...wow...

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 17 March 2017, 11:10:12 am
Just had some wanker ask if I had an aversion to drugs cos he wants me to lick coke off his cock. Bear in mind my profile says I don't do drugs or see anyone who does, nor do I offer OWO

I replied nope no aversion to drugs, will let the drugs squad know you are on the way and they can meet you here, he replied with I can't tell if you are joking or not!!! :FF :FF :FF

Oh yep It's a national holiday in Ireland, shower of muppets
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 17 March 2017, 01:05:53 pm
Quote from: curvywench on 17 March 2017, 11:10:12 am
Just had some wanker ask if I had an aversion to drugs cos he wants me to lick coke off his cock. Bear in mind my profile says I don't do drugs or see anyone who does, nor do I offer OWO

I replied nope no aversion to drugs, will let the drugs squad know you are on the way and they can meet you here, he replied with I can't tell if you are joking or not!!! :FF :FF :FF

Oh yep It's a national holiday in Ireland, shower of muppets

Guess at least it's nice that he asked first, often with me they'll just show up at my door high with a pocket full of god knows what and I have to tell them to get lost because I don't take clients who are drunk or high then they refuse to leave and get aggressive until I start calling the police and suddenly they run away like a small child who is being told on.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 17 March 2017, 01:52:19 pm
Received a couple of texts this morning...

In Barcelona till Monday night. Back in office Tues morn. I transferred 250k in to the business account...

And from a different number...

Wot or postcode
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 17 March 2017, 02:14:16 pm
"howRu fancy hooking up"

I think I am in love with this one.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SweetAngel on 17 March 2017, 06:04:02 pm
"Can I give you massage in exchange of your services"
" Can i cum in ur mouth"
"How much 1 hour sex"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 17 March 2017, 10:19:11 pm
A guy called me last evening whispering into the phone "can we catch up?"
I couldn't hear so I said "sorry I can't hear, say it again please"
So he whispered again "can we catch up?"
I just yelled into the phone "I still can't hear you!!!!" and then I hang up and blocked.

Catch up?! Wtf?!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 18 March 2017, 01:07:51 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 14 March 2017, 10:21:58 am
'Hello big girl can I have an hour'?
'My name isn't big girl.'
'Sorry can I have an hour your well nice.'
'I don't meet up with men who can't use my actual name.'

Do they actually think you will book them in after they speak to you like that?Maybe they think you find it cute when they give you a pet name or something?

I think they think we'll be flattered when they give us pet mames. One called Me once and when I picked up be was like "hi gorgeous " in the most annoying way possible. Like he was smiling or something. Made me cringe with disgust. No wonder his name is saved as TW. They just not serious. :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kitty_69 on 18 March 2017, 01:20:53 am
How much to suck me off in my car an swollow xx

i don't offer owo cim or swallow 

me to him ?500
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 19 March 2017, 02:21:10 am
Dear SLM
I am tall and fit...Looking for someone who likes to try BDSM..Things I like to do...Ass Play, Humiliation ,Blindfolds, Bondage, Collars, Obedience Training, Fisting, Leashes, Spanking, Uniforms, degradation, face fuck, .gang bangs you can include and exclude any thing ...



And he's in Leeds while I'm in Scotland   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Zaracoope1983 on 19 March 2017, 07:10:36 am
Tell you what, like many have said, it's the "what do you offer?" Or "what are your rates" guys that do my head in, although not a much as the, "why don't you tell me what you like?" Tw. Ooooooo and the "can you do a 15mins blow job in my car?". Just be nice for them to read the advert!!!

Also I understand that some guys have circumstances which means they can only contact during the a late evening, it's ok because I put my phone on silent or switch it of. This morning I have woken up to no less than 36 missed callls, 17 texts and loads of emails.


Whilst I guess it's nice to be wanted, I reckon about 20% would have resulted in an actual booking! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kazzle on 19 March 2017, 09:27:28 am
An email from someone I've never heard from before.

Hi I'm going to be cheeky, I'm very clean and easy going.Any chance of a discount ? X

I'm not sure cheeky is how I'd describe him, a tight-fisted cheapskate I think would be a more accurate description.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SweetAngel on 19 March 2017, 11:43:12 am
Guy: Hello. I would like to have overnight with you but first I need to see what you look like.
Me: Well I can offer short 30 min booking and if you are happy we can proceed for overnight.
Guy: ok, so we can have 30 min but as it is a trial for overnight which is alot of money I guess I dont have to pay?
Me: Have a good day!

Later another guy:
Guy: Can i come and see you?
Me: Sure. Around what time?
Guy: Well i can come in 30 min to see you
Me: How long you would like to stay?
Guy: well i just want to see you how you look like and if i like you i will come another day becausei dont have time now  ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 19 March 2017, 12:54:15 pm
Via text.

Him: Hey lady pls give me poscode
Me: Why?
Him: You like bissnis
Me: Nope.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 20 March 2017, 11:24:54 am
Spoke to guy call dropped (or he hung up) followed by texts

Me- how long do you want to book for
Him - special price for 2 hours
Me - my price for 2 hours is 180 I only do special rates for guys who see me at last once a month and have been seeing me for a while
Him - ?150 for 2 hours and i will come every week
Me - No my discounts only start when I have seen someone 3 times within 3 months not on the promise of becoming a regular
Him - Thats all i got, Do 1 hour 45?
Me - My rate for 90 mins is 150 so i think we will agree to disagree you could not afford me every week

He then tried to ring me 3 times

Now blocked
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 20 March 2017, 12:45:49 pm
Will be coming a long way to see you so will it be worth it?

Don't like talking much so can you just get on with it and say nowt?

(I will not be meeting these two) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 20 March 2017, 03:55:07 pm
I have just seen your ad and would love to come and see you.

My service only requires 5 mins as all I do is to unzip and masturbate whilst you watch. Is this something you can do?

I normally pay around ?10 as I don't have a full service and you don't need to be dressed/undressed for me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 20 March 2017, 04:06:46 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 20 March 2017, 03:55:07 pm
I have just seen your ad and would love to come and see you.

My service only requires 5 mins as all I do is to unzip and masturbate whilst you watch. Is this something you can do?

I normally pay around ?10 as I don't have a full service and you don't need to be dressed/undressed for me.

I've had him too  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: London Mature on 20 March 2017, 04:12:55 pm
Quote from: Malia on 18 March 2017, 01:07:51 am
I think they think we'll be flattered when they give us pet mames. One called Me once and when I picked up be was like "hi gorgeous " in the most annoying way possible. Like he was smiling or something. Made me cringe with disgust. No wonder his name is saved as TW. They just not serious. :FF

Hate that also, although I don't take calls. Just emails, so when they message calling me beautiful, gorgeous, stunning etc I find it patronizing as a woman in my late forties they think i'm going to 'swoon'. Invariably copy and paste messages.

They think 'one size fits all' so to speak and are the first to debate our levels of intelligence. Silly people.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetmilf on 20 March 2017, 09:47:52 pm
Had a message on my off day, which is clearly indicated all over.

"Hi, I know you are off on such and such day but not totally off, are you? I fancy meeting up on that day, please call me as soon as you can, to arrange something."

 ::) I wasn't happy about his previous message, so he's gone for good now....if it was sunny, I might have given him another chance,  I said, MIGHT.................      Maybe, not. :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 20 March 2017, 10:06:23 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 17 March 2017, 01:52:19 pm
Received a couple of texts this morning...

In Barcelona till Monday night. Back in office Tues morn. I transferred 250k in to the business account...

And from a different number...

Wot or postcode

I got something similar;

"Off to the villa tonight. Back in office Tuesday. Transferred 300k in to the business bank account"

What's all that about  ???  A conversation starter??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 20 March 2017, 10:26:51 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 20 March 2017, 03:55:07 pm
I have just seen your ad and would love to come and see you.

My service only requires 5 mins as all I do is to unzip and masturbate whilst you watch. Is this something you can do?

I normally pay around ?10 as I don't have a full service and you don't need to be dressed/undressed for me.

Charge him double your rate just because you have to sit there watching...:)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 20 March 2017, 10:51:17 pm
For context, I take initial comms through email only.

The message: "phone number". No email header, no signature, no punctuation. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 21 March 2017, 09:02:14 am
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 19 March 2017, 02:21:10 am
Dear SLM
I am tall and fit...Looking for someone who likes to try BDSM..Things I like to do...Ass Play, Humiliation ,Blindfolds, Bondage, Collars, Obedience Training, Fisting, Leashes, Spanking, Uniforms, degradation, face fuck, .gang bangs you can include and exclude any thing ...



And he's in Leeds while I'm in Scotland   :FF

i had this email tooo xxxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 21 March 2017, 09:20:55 am
Text

Hi pictures are real?? and what including in 1 hour service?

Me: no they are fake  ::)

ok in this case I cant come if i dont know how you look thanks

Hope today isnt going to be full of idiots  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 21 March 2017, 03:58:50 pm
Quote from: Kazzle on 19 March 2017, 09:27:28 am
An email from someone I've never heard from before.

Hi I'm going to be cheeky, I'm very clean and easy going.Any chance of a discount ? X

I'm not sure cheeky is how I'd describe him, a tight-fisted cheapskate I think would be a more accurate description.

You know these discount seekers, I've got a new tactic with them.  I now ask them why.  And when they go, eh, what, I say 'No really, why?  Because you saw on the ad you got my number from my rate is xxx.  Why would I give you a discount??'  Then I smirk to myself and listen to them squirm!  Wa ha ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 22 March 2017, 09:37:47 pm
He sounded genuine but what raised alarm bells was he wanted me to enter through the back. To get dropped off at another adresse in the dark walking through garages to get to his back garden. He also said I will need to get out of the taxi to see him to walk over too.

Luckily the last client who asked me to meet him in the alley let me come to his front door or I wasn't going.

You get some weirdos.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 22 March 2017, 09:52:20 pm
Quote from: meetingdiversity on 22 March 2017, 09:37:47 pm
He sounded genuine but what raised alarm bells was he wanted me to enter through the back. To get dropped off at another adresse in the dark walking through garages to get to his back garden. He also said I will need to get out of the taxi to see him to walk over too




I had one of those , genuine enough but married and terrified of his "nosy" neighbours seeing me knocking on the door at 8pm during his wife absence ... he made me leave the same way ....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 22 March 2017, 10:01:37 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 22 March 2017, 09:52:20 pm

I had one of those , genuine enough but married and terrified of his "nosy" neighbours seeing me knocking on the door at 8pm during his wife absence ... he made me leave the same way ....

If I hadn't had a creepy experience at an out call last year with requests like this I might have went he said his family lived over the road hence the reason. I prefer going to the front door or hotel room for out calls from now on with no faffing about.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: inkedisobel on 23 March 2017, 07:59:00 am
Quote from: Fallingstar on 26 August 2009, 11:52:49 am
2. Email received Monday from guy wanting a 2 hour outcall (it had to be an outcall because he couldn't leave his dogs alone apparently) He had ?150 to pay me (?80 short of what i charge for a 2 hour outcall) but he could offer me a lift from home and back to compensate for the shortfall as long as i 'don't mind a licking from a Labrador'

The labrador part actually made me feel a little bit sick. Joke or not, what is wrong with some people???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 23 March 2017, 05:52:05 pm
Quote from: inkedisobel on 23 March 2017, 07:59:00 am
The labrador part actually made me feel a little bit sick. Joke or not, what is wrong with some people???

Just idiots looking for a cheap wank over what they can convince you to do. I get the dog sex,dog licking you out etc requests at least twice a week.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 23 March 2017, 06:16:07 pm
Quote from: TrashAzn on 23 March 2017, 05:52:05 pm
Just idiots looking for a cheap wank over what they can convince you to do. I get the dog sex,dog licking you out etc requests at least twice a week.

They make it so obvious don't they at least try to hide it if they are smart.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 23 March 2017, 06:21:01 pm
Got a 'hi' text so responded saying that 'hi' gives me nothing and I need various details. He responded 'Relax. I started typing and hit send by mistake. If you are going to be so impatient and snappy then i can go elsewhere.'

I mean, I guess it might have been an honest mistake but you can blame me? If only they knew the barrage of nonsense we have to put up with.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 23 March 2017, 06:49:10 pm
A guy called me around lunchtime. Speaking with that effeminate modulated voice trying to sound sophisticated.
Talks a lot just to try to talk me into a quickie. I don't offer quickies. But he insists saying he doesn't have more time but he's horny and would like to get the feel of it.
Got annoyed, told him to unzip his pants and check if he can feel it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 23 March 2017, 07:00:26 pm
had 2 rather bizzar texts from the same person

hellooo babe im 24 id happily marry you off i see you by accident but your a beaut so ill let you no that i dont wanna escort id have you but in general thats not mee lol haveeeeee a good day

and then he texts

you said no txts lol but i aint ringing you to tell you that youd think im a right knob haha

 ???  ???  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 23 March 2017, 08:38:13 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 23 March 2017, 07:00:26 pm
had 2 rather bizzar texts from the same person

hellooo babe im 24 id happily marry you off i see you by accident but your a beaut so ill let you no that i dont wanna escort id have you but in general thats not mee lol haveeeeee a good day

and then he texts

you said no txts lol but i aint ringing you to tell you that youd think im a right knob haha

 ???  ???  ???

What???? Read it twice. Me non comprendo  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Zaracoope1983 on 23 March 2017, 09:35:34 pm
Client calls me wanting to see me, but had a busy day so knocked off. Told him I wasn't available and gave him some other options for future. Then I get messages, "are you the girl with tattoos who lives near Tescos?"
Me:nope
Him: you sure, because she lets me come and fuck her when her kids are in bed
Me:classy, absolutely not me
Him: please let me come, I'll pay you ?80 for an hour!!!
Me: ha ha ha way less than my rates, but good luck
Him: wow I could get two for that, too expensive
Me: fantastic
And now loads of abuse, not responding though, managed to block him now.

Toss pot x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 24 March 2017, 01:40:47 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 23 March 2017, 07:00:26 pm

you said no txts lol but i aint ringing you to tell you that youd think im a right knob haha

 ???  ???  ???

Because....it sounds completely normal when he texts it?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 24 March 2017, 01:42:01 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 23 March 2017, 07:00:26 pm
had 2 rather bizzar texts from the same person

hellooo babe im 24 id happily marry you off i see you by accident but your a beaut so ill let you no that i dont wanna escort id have you but in general thats not mee lol haveeeeee a good day

and then he texts

you said no txts lol but i aint ringing you to tell you that youd think im a right knob haha

 ???  ???  ???

And he felt that text was his best foot forward for a first impression?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 24 March 2017, 02:12:51 pm
Email on AW

Will you do a handjob for ?10? I'll be quick
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 24 March 2017, 02:43:31 pm
Had a call earlier asking if I would see him as he's young... I asked him how old he was he said 34!!!!! I said yes that's fine, he said he wanted an hour at 2pm but he was coming on public transport (train)  so how does he get to me. I said a taxi from either station is ?7 each way, he went all quiet then said ok then see you at 2pm looking forward to meeting you.  In his haste to waste my time the silly sod forgot to ask for my address :-)))
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: beccah282 on 25 March 2017, 12:17:26 am
I got this from a guy last week:

"Do you see virgins?" him

"Yes of course" me

"cos my mate needs a shag and wont leave my house till you agree"

Still makes me laugh.  Safe to say this didnt happen.  HAHA
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 25 March 2017, 07:34:46 am
Quote from: beccah282 on 25 March 2017, 12:17:26 am
I got this from a guy last week:

"Do you see virgins?" him

"Yes of course" me

"cos my mate needs a shag and wont leave my house till you agree"

Still makes me laugh.  Safe to say this didnt happen.  HAHA

LOOOOOL ! At least this one is funny !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kazzle on 25 March 2017, 11:00:58 am
Quote
Had a call earlier asking if I would see him as he's young... I asked him how old he was he said 34!!!!!

I had one describe himself as an older gentleman, he's 36! As I'm 20 years older than him I not sure what that makes me.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 25 March 2017, 12:22:17 pm
Turned my phone on this morn and had a variety of moronic texts

'morning, do you need a house waiter'

'send me a good picture of yourself gorgeous so a know its you'

'hi u look kinky ru?'

'hi beautiful do you like to be licked x'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 25 March 2017, 12:28:36 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 25 March 2017, 12:22:17 pm
Turned my phone on this morn and had a variety of moronic texts

'morning, do you need a house waiter'

'send me a good picture of yourself gorgeous so a know its you'

'hi u look kinky ru?'

'hi beautiful do you like to be licked x'

I get that all the time too...send me a good picture so I know it's you.  Compared to who?  Or if you don't send me a picture how do I know it's you?  Erm....because I'll be the woman at the door?

I wonder if anyone falls for this shit sometimes.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 25 March 2017, 12:32:29 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 25 March 2017, 12:28:36 pm
I get that all the time too...send me a good picture so I know it's you.  Compared to who?  Or if you don't send me a picture how do I know it's you?  Erm....because I'll be the woman at the door?

I wonder if anyone falls for this shit sometimes.

Some girls prob do send pics, safe to say he didnt get any response from me  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 25 March 2017, 02:52:44 pm
Every time I get asked for a picture of my pussy, I send one back of Grumpy Cat :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 26 March 2017, 05:08:16 pm
I just had one on the phone wanting to do anal sex for 30 minutes non stop hardcore. I told him good luck with finding an escort who provides this.  Don't some men think I won't be seeing him. 

Then he went all paranoid on me another odd ball.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 26 March 2017, 10:58:43 pm
Just received this off some self entitled ass.


Hi *******, hope you are well?

You have a great profile, i was just curious on one thing. You seem to offer a great range of likes but explicitly say you don't offer a deepthroat/face fuck service. I'm just really curious why?

Of course you don't have to say, sorry if asking was too rude to ask xx

take care,

R***



Honestly some of them really piss me off, it's not enough that I offer what I offer but they want explanations as to why I don't offer certain services!

I just replied that I didn't have to answer to him and that is my body and my rules. BLOCKED.
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 26 March 2017, 11:08:12 pm
Quote from: MrsTomHardy on 26 March 2017, 10:58:43 pm
Just received this off some self entitled ass.


Hi *******, hope you are well?

You have a great profile, i was just curious on one thing. You seem to offer a great range of likes but explicitly say you don't offer a deepthroat/face fuck service. I'm just really curious why?

Of course you don't have to say, sorry if asking was too rude to ask xx

take care,

R***



Honestly some of them really piss me off, it's not enough that I offer what I offer but they want explanations as to why I don't offer certain services!

I just replied that I didn't have to answer to him and that is my body and my rules. BLOCKED.

This fucks me off! I once had a booking planned including anal but the client had to cancel. Okay no harm done, gave me plenty of notice. A few weeks passed and I removed anal from my services. Said client emails saying he was just about to call but sees I removed anal and asking why I did so as "I thought you loved it."? None of your buisness! I can add or remove whatever services I want whenever I want!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 26 March 2017, 11:10:47 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 26 March 2017, 11:08:12 pm
This fucks me off! I once had a booking planned including anal but the client had to cancel. Okay no harm done, gave me plenty of notice. A few weeks passed and I removed anal from my services. Said client emails saying he was just about to call but sees I removed anal and asking why I did so as "I thought you loved it."? None of your buisness! I can add or remove whatever services I want whenever I want!

It's alright but he isn't even asking about booking just general chitchat. Completely ignored the fact that I don't deal with enquiries by email either! P****
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SweetAngel on 26 March 2017, 11:49:31 pm
Can i get cim for 20? No sex and will be fast promise  ;D

Hi babe. Do you wana go shopping with me?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 27 March 2017, 12:36:40 pm
'hey baby you squirt all the time babes'

I did type out the reply.......yes all the time, im bared from most shops I make an awful mess, but I thought better of it
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 27 March 2017, 03:07:08 pm
Hello?
Hiya, babe, are yer alright?
Hi, yes.
How much is it to fuck yer up ya arse?
I'm sorry, I don't offer anal.
Oh right, er, what do you specialise in?
Gfe
Oh, er, right I'll call ya back. Take care!

He didn't sound like he meant me any harm and there was warmth in his voice, but it didn't stop him sounding like a complete and utter moron  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 27 March 2017, 04:28:38 pm
Quote from: Gypsy on 27 March 2017, 03:07:08 pm
Hello?
Hiya, babe, are yer alright?
Hi, yes.
How much is it to fuck yer up ya arse?
I'm sorry, I don't offer anal.
Oh right, er, what do you specialise in?
Gfe
Oh, er, right I'll call ya back. Take care!

He didn't sound like he meant me any harm and there was warmth in his voice, but it didn't stop him sounding like a complete and utter moron  ::)

I so get you. I'm the same. Always trying to find something good in them  :FF ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 28 March 2017, 11:10:08 am
phone call from someone I'd seen but didn't remember..

Him..Hi Helen
Me....Hi
Him...Errrr (followed by an awkward 5 seconds of silence)
Him....Errrr (again followed by an awkward silence)
Me..Can I help you with something?
Him....Are you married?
Me....Whats that got to do with anything?
Him...I was going to take you out for a drink.
(Were you?)
I don't socialise with clients my hours are 10am-4pm and that's it.
Him...(deflated) Oh okay I will call you soon.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 28 March 2017, 12:07:52 pm
Text from previous suspected TW:

Banging blue ched call if need 07******* or if voicemail call this one 248 about all day 😗💨💨

What does it even mean?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 28 March 2017, 12:12:12 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 28 March 2017, 12:07:52 pm
Text from previous suspected TW:

Banging blue ched call if need 07******* or if voicemail call this one 248 about all day 😗💨💨

What does it even mean?!

Drug pusher i would guess
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 28 March 2017, 01:12:25 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 28 March 2017, 12:07:52 pm
Text from previous suspected TW:

Banging blue ched call if need 07******* or if voicemail call this one 248 about all day 😗💨💨

What does it even mean?!

Yep, 'blue ched' will be a strain of skunk.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 28 March 2017, 01:27:14 pm
Quote from: Kay on 28 March 2017, 01:12:25 pm
Yep, 'blue ched' will be a strain of skunk.

I just googled "skunk" You're not talking about the "cat-sized American mammal", are you? That ain't blue  :FF ;D  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 28 March 2017, 01:36:42 pm
Quote from: Kay on 28 March 2017, 01:12:25 pm
Yep, 'blue ched' will be a strain of skunk.

Ah the mind boggles... Yes make sense with the two phone numbers. Had previously asked for duos and some other thing both of which I didn't do so was busy ignoring him!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 29 March 2017, 08:53:23 am
2 email from this Funk loving, under the sheets wriggling oddball; {careful you don't wretch up your lunch} Is he doing the rounds?

"Hi there lovely you

Thank you for replying to my Aphrodite Lounge email. You'll see from the attached photo that their frustrating site will only let me see part of your message. But happily I found your website.

I'm so pleased you said my rambling daydream sounds amazing! It does to me too! I will overcome my inhibition and ring you to chat about the delightful possibility of meeting you.

I get that my daydream about pampering you with a sensuous massage isn't a common one. I'm starry-eyed and smiley and I get so much delight from massaging. I'm an INFP personality so you'll see why if you look at the other photo :).

My hands are magic apparently and it's a shame to hear that sex workers rarely if ever get the type of massage they want and earn. I'm told that it's especially rare for the bum to get the attention that's wanted. I've yet to start my professional training but my natural technique seems to make up for that. I'm a lucky guy. I get so much erotic pleasure through my fingertips. And I've got ten! Hooray!

I'm seriously considering following the advice I've been given i.e. to develop my passion into a service. And being lovely to you would be a step on that journey that I'd never forget. And that I'd willingly repeat free of charge as a way of saying thank you. As for you being lovely to me.....the holding me and being held by me as we gently wiggle under the sheet post-massage would make me feel loved and understood. Like good friends. With benefits :)

I hope that this still sounds amazing to you and that you think you might be able to enjoy being lovingly and tenderly adored. What you give to men is truly wonderful and to put a blissful smile on your face would make me feel like a sexy prince.

I'm a sensitive, respectful and considerate lover with a huge heart and a free spirit. And I'm rambling!

Like I said, I will ring and see if you want to play with me and turn erotic messaging into erotic massaging. And laughs!

Sent with a big hug and a kiss"

"Hello I'm a gentle playful and tactile soul. I hope that you're well and that you might be kind enough to let me visit you soon. You are beautiful and, if you'd enjoy it, I'd adore the chance to seduce you by embracing you, kissing your neck while we wiggle our hips to your favourite slow funk, undressing you and laying you down so that I can lovingly massage you all over and pleasure you with my hands and tongue. Before wrapping ourselves around each other UNDER the covers for some sensual lovemaking. I've a dreamy smiley imagination and it would make me grin from head to toe to imagine that you have booked me to deliver the BFE experience that you want. That I'm paying for, like the chivalrous gent that I am. My treat. What do you think? Would you choose one and a half hours or two? And what time of day would you be most in the mood for this kind of escapism. I'm all yours if you want me X"

Offering to pay me through AW but then asking for friends with benefits though my personal email. Cheeky twit, needless to say, I've ignored him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 29 March 2017, 10:14:09 am
That's the kind of essay I always want to reply with "TL;DR"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: London Mature on 29 March 2017, 10:47:50 am
Quote from: Chatterly on 29 March 2017, 08:53:23 am
2 email from this Funk loving, under the sheets wriggling oddball; {careful you don't wretch up your lunch} Is he doing the rounds?

"Hi there lovely you

Thank you for replying to my Aphrodite Lounge email. You'll see from the attached photo that their frustrating site will only let me see part of your message. But happily I found your website.

I'm so pleased you said my rambling daydream sounds amazing! It does to me too! I will overcome my inhibition and ring you to chat about the delightful possibility of meeting you.

I get that my daydream about pampering you with a sensuous massage isn't a common one. I'm starry-eyed and smiley and I get so much delight from massaging. I'm an INFP personality so you'll see why if you look at the other photo :).

My hands are magic apparently and it's a shame to hear that sex workers rarely if ever get the type of massage they want and earn. I'm told that it's especially rare for the bum to get the attention that's wanted. I've yet to start my professional training but my natural technique seems to make up for that. I'm a lucky guy. I get so much erotic pleasure through my fingertips. And I've got ten! Hooray!

I'm seriously considering following the advice I've been given i.e. to develop my passion into a service. And being lovely to you would be a step on that journey that I'd never forget. And that I'd willingly repeat free of charge as a way of saying thank you. As for you being lovely to me.....the holding me and being held by me as we gently wiggle under the sheet post-massage would make me feel loved and understood. Like good friends. With benefits :)

I hope that this still sounds amazing to you and that you think you might be able to enjoy being lovingly and tenderly adored. What you give to men is truly wonderful and to put a blissful smile on your face would make me feel like a sexy prince.

I'm a sensitive, respectful and considerate lover with a huge heart and a free spirit. And I'm rambling!

Like I said, I will ring and see if you want to play with me and turn erotic messaging into erotic massaging. And laughs!

Sent with a big hug and a kiss"

"Hello I'm a gentle playful and tactile soul. I hope that you're well and that you might be kind enough to let me visit you soon. You are beautiful and, if you'd enjoy it, I'd adore the chance to seduce you by embracing you, kissing your neck while we wiggle our hips to your favourite slow funk, undressing you and laying you down so that I can lovingly massage you all over and pleasure you with my hands and tongue. Before wrapping ourselves around each other UNDER the covers for some sensual lovemaking. I've a dreamy smiley imagination and it would make me grin from head to toe to imagine that you have booked me to deliver the BFE experience that you want. That I'm paying for, like the chivalrous gent that I am. My treat. What do you think? Would you choose one and a half hours or two? And what time of day would you be most in the mood for this kind of escapism. I'm all yours if you want me X"

Offering to pay me through AW but then asking for friends with benefits though my personal email. Cheeky twit, needless to say, I've ignored him.


I persevered and kept reading! Oh my days, nearly lost the will to live! I dodged a similar one today, where do they find the time? 'My treat' condescending delusional idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 29 March 2017, 02:38:08 pm
Would you ever consider offering a watch and wank service; no sex, oral or touching ... just see you in heels and wank for ?20
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissJayJay on 29 March 2017, 02:48:47 pm
Odd message via email today. Not sure if he's a fantasist getting a kick from typing it or serious.

"Hi. I'd like to book you tomorrow for 1pm. Can we do that? "
"Hi. You  need to call me to book please".
Ignores me and keeps messaging "you look so young. I'd like you to wear your hair lose and I'll bring a babies dummy for you to put in your mouth. Have you got a teddy?"

  :o weirdest  thing I've read via AW email since I started back.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 29 March 2017, 03:04:36 pm
Text at 1.15 am

Youd WELL get it !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 29 March 2017, 04:13:42 pm
Quote from: Chatterly on 29 March 2017, 08:53:23 am
2 email from this Funk loving, under the sheets wriggling oddball; {careful you don't wretch up your lunch} Is he doing the rounds?

"Hi there lovely you

Thank you for replying to my Aphrodite Lounge email. You'll see from the attached photo that their frustrating site will only let me see part of your message. But happily I found your website.

I'm so pleased you said my rambling daydream sounds amazing! It does to me too! I will overcome my inhibition and ring you to chat about the delightful possibility of meeting you.

I get that my daydream about pampering you with a sensuous massage isn't a common one. I'm starry-eyed and smiley and I get so much delight from massaging. I'm an INFP personality so you'll see why if you look at the other photo :).

My hands are magic apparently and it's a shame to hear that sex workers rarely if ever get the type of massage they want and earn. I'm told that it's especially rare for the bum to get the attention that's wanted. I've yet to start my professional training but my natural technique seems to make up for that. I'm a lucky guy. I get so much erotic pleasure through my fingertips. And I've got ten! Hooray!

I'm seriously considering following the advice I've been given i.e. to develop my passion into a service. And being lovely to you would be a step on that journey that I'd never forget. And that I'd willingly repeat free of charge as a way of saying thank you. As for you being lovely to me.....the holding me and being held by me as we gently wiggle under the sheet post-massage would make me feel loved and understood. Like good friends. With benefits :)

I hope that this still sounds amazing to you and that you think you might be able to enjoy being lovingly and tenderly adored. What you give to men is truly wonderful and to put a blissful smile on your face would make me feel like a sexy prince.

I'm a sensitive, respectful and considerate lover with a huge heart and a free spirit. And I'm rambling!

Like I said, I will ring and see if you want to play with me and turn erotic messaging into erotic massaging. And laughs!

Sent with a big hug and a kiss"

"Hello I'm a gentle playful and tactile soul. I hope that you're well and that you might be kind enough to let me visit you soon. You are beautiful and, if you'd enjoy it, I'd adore the chance to seduce you by embracing you, kissing your neck while we wiggle our hips to your favourite slow funk, undressing you and laying you down so that I can lovingly massage you all over and pleasure you with my hands and tongue. Before wrapping ourselves around each other UNDER the covers for some sensual lovemaking. I've a dreamy smiley imagination and it would make me grin from head to toe to imagine that you have booked me to deliver the BFE experience that you want. That I'm paying for, like the chivalrous gent that I am. My treat. What do you think? Would you choose one and a half hours or two? And what time of day would you be most in the mood for this kind of escapism. I'm all yours if you want me X"

Offering to pay me through AW but then asking for friends with benefits though my personal email. Cheeky twit, needless to say, I've ignored him.

I'm so disappointed here, Chatterly! I got back home from a huge and delicious Italian lunch so I thought I would read just to wretch on purpose... read and read and read and bloody nothing :FF
Looks like I'm wanker-proof by now :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 30 March 2017, 08:03:23 am
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 29 March 2017, 04:13:42 pm
I'm so disappointed here, Chatterly! I got back home from a huge and delicious Italian lunch so I thought I would read just to wretch on purpose... read and read and read and bloody nothing :FF
Looks like I'm wanker-proof by now :)

lol he's too sickly for me. Glad these types don't phase you  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PassionFlower on 30 March 2017, 03:53:41 pm
Well ladies, keep your hands off this one, he's all mine!

11.48 - I get payd tomorow can u help me till then bj
11.50 - Or if there is anything i can do for u
11.56 - I can leave a nintendo ds till tomorrow
12.18 - R u interested av seen u before
12.59 - Or do u need a driver
13.00 - If u can let me know that would be greate
13.58 - R u interested will do anything u want
14.19 - Could u do it for a tenna thats all i got
14.21 - Half the time though
14.23 - If u could msg bk that would be greate i have seen u beforevr bj
14.25 - Can u help i know the address from last time
14.30 - Take it u not interested
14.47 - Tenna it will only be a quick one
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 30 March 2017, 05:22:10 pm
a Nintendo DS!  ;D ;D ;D
Love to see the look on his son's face when he explains that daddy pawned his games console for a BJ...  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PassionFlower on 30 March 2017, 05:27:14 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 30 March 2017, 05:22:10 pm
a Nintendo DS!  ;D ;D ;D
Love to see the look on his son's face when he explains that daddy pawned his games console for a BJ...  :o

I did feel like responding at that point that I offer the porn star exp not the pawn star exp lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 30 March 2017, 06:36:05 pm
Someone just rung me and kept making a loud burping sound down the phone  ???


Then another

Him: I want to book an appointment
Me: Yes when for?
Him: For tonight I want to book a dogging appointment
Me: Well I don't do dogging
Him: Do you do foot fetish?
Me: Yes
Him: Can I come round and buy your sweaty smelly socks?
Me: No sorry mine are clean
Him: Ok
Me: Bye
I thought it was another 2 days til April fools day  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 30 March 2017, 08:33:07 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 30 March 2017, 05:22:10 pm
a Nintendo DS!  ;D ;D ;D
Love to see the look on his son's face when he explains that daddy pawned his games console for a BJ...  :o


I kid you not one friend of mine a few years ago had a guy thinking he was on a winner offering a a Maccy D in return for massage/HR
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: dynamicd on 31 March 2017, 12:22:09 am
Quote from: Jessi_Black on 30 March 2017, 03:53:41 pm
Well ladies, keep your hands off this one, he's all mine!

11.48 - I get payd tomorow can u help me till then bj
11.50 - Or if there is anything i can do for u
11.56 - I can leave a nintendo ds till tomorrow
12.18 - R u interested av seen u before
12.59 - Or do u need a driver
13.00 - If u can let me know that would be greate
13.58 - R u interested will do anything u want
14.19 - Could u do it for a tenna thats all i got
14.21 - Half the time though
14.23 - If u could msg bk that would be greate i have seen u beforevr bj
14.25 - Can u help i know the address from last time
14.30 - Take it u not interested
14.47 - Tenna it will only be a quick one

His grammar is what got to me... These men are a mess  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PassionFlower on 31 March 2017, 12:35:08 pm
Then there's this one, never heard from this person before

"Do you need any money"

Erm... Yeah? Do you know anyone who doesn't????

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 31 March 2017, 01:31:16 pm
oops posted in the wrong thread.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 03 April 2017, 09:17:27 pm
Well an enquiry through he said he seen me before and wanted an overnight for 10pm. I asked him to phone me for a booking. Nothing as of yet most probably one thinking he can pull a fast one. So am carrying on happily with my housework with the radio in the background.

Some do try it on don't they via text msg. But we out smart the wasters.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 04 April 2017, 11:01:37 pm
New profile, opened yesterday

Quote
Good morning :)
I am very sorry for bothering you with a message, I am sure you are extremely busy on here.

I am contacting you today to see if you would have any need for a personal driver, security or manager to help you with your bookings, safety and business?

A little about me. I am a Structural Engineer to trade. So I am educated. I drive a brand new Volvo v40 Cross Country, which would be an ideal car for you to be driven around in. Driving doesn't have to be exclusively work related, it can be personal also.
Also, if required I would happily manage your bookings and profile to keep you up to date and keep your clients happy.

Another aspect I am interested in is perhaps investing in a 'working flat'. Ive got a good amount of money which id like to buy a flat with and kit it up for a working girl. So hopefully if this interested you, you would be able to help with the interior design and safety.

Anyway, if there is anything you are interested in or would like to discuss please do get back. The reason I am interested in the adult entertainment industry is because I believe its a very lucrative industry and I believe there is plenty for all.

Hope to hear from you
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 05 April 2017, 08:18:52 am
Quote
I drive a brand new Volvo v40 Cross Country, which would be an ideal car for you to be driven around in.

Fucking hell, what an idiot. LOL.

Quote
I am a Structural Engineer to trade. So I am educated.

Pity your education didn't teach you about punctuation.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nora batty on 05 April 2017, 12:17:44 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 04 April 2017, 11:01:37 pm
New profile, opened yesterday

So he basically wants to be a pimp. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 05 April 2017, 12:28:28 pm
He states he has a good amount of money so why is he on AW begging sex workers for a slice of the sex industry pie..I'd have been tempted to tell him to advertise sucking cock himself if he wants a good earner.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 05 April 2017, 01:21:00 pm
Noticing lately a few callers with a brothel mentality, and need to be seen in the next 10 minutes, I can see regulars quickly within 30 minutes as I don't feel the need to be so dolled up or mentally prepared but new clients expecting to phone and come over straight away really fuckin annoys me  :FF. I also think its because I like to feel in charge of when I see them and not the other way around.
Another one called saying he wants to over now, I said no I'd require an hours notice (I didn't but the very fact he thinks he can dictate to me sets me off) to which he replied "Okay I'll call you later when I'm in the area" I said "you can call when you are in the area but you still have to wait an hour for a booking".
All these are listed as twats
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SophieXXX on 06 April 2017, 10:26:57 am
Phone call this morning.

Him: "Just looking at your profile now, I'm a Dom male so I like to be called Sir. Is that ok with you?"
Me: "Yeah that's fine"
Him: "Yeah that's fine SIR. Now do you like being called slut or whore? I know my preference but it's up to you"
Me: "I prefer to take a booking and go from there rather than do roleplay on the phone"
Him: "Oh well I like to get to know people on the phone a bit first, obviously I'm not for you"


"I like to get to know you on the phone" - always translated as "I want some free phone sex"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 06 April 2017, 12:53:42 pm
Quote from: SophieXXX on 06 April 2017, 10:26:57 am
Phone call this morning.

Him: "Just looking at your profile now, I'm a Dom male so I like to be called Sir. Is that ok with you?"
Me: "Yeah that's fine"
Him: "Yeah that's fine SIR. Now do you like being called slut or whore? I know my preference but it's up to you"
Me: "I prefer to take a booking and go from there rather than do roleplay on the phone"
Him: "Oh well I like to get to know people on the phone a bit first, obviously I'm not for you"


"I like to get to know you on the phone" - always translated as "I want some free phone sex"

Fuck, can you imagine what an ordeal a booking with someone like that would be?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SophieXXX on 06 April 2017, 01:53:11 pm
Quote from: Kay on 06 April 2017, 12:53:42 pm
Fuck, can you imagine what an ordeal a booking with someone like that would be?

I'd rather not have to imagine it...!!!  ;)

Just had another one to save in my phone book as PSW - phone sex wanker, oh the joys!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PassionFlower on 06 April 2017, 06:48:06 pm
Quote from: SophieXXX on 06 April 2017, 10:26:57 am
Phone call this morning.

Him: "Just looking at your profile now, I'm a Dom male so I like to be called Sir. Is that ok with you?"
Me: "Yeah that's fine"
Him: "Yeah that's fine SIR. Now do you like being called slut or whore? I know my preference but it's up to you"
Me: "I prefer to take a booking and go from there rather than do roleplay on the phone"
Him: "Oh well I like to get to know people on the phone a bit first, obviously I'm not for you"


"I like to get to know you on the phone" - always translated as "I want some free phone sex"

I've had that exact same call, almost word for word.  He wasn't impressed when I said the session starts once cash is handed over haha xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SophieXXX on 06 April 2017, 09:38:21 pm
Quote from: Jessi_Black on 06 April 2017, 06:48:06 pm
I've had that exact same call, almost word for word.  He wasn't impressed when I said the session starts once cash is handed over haha xxx

Haha! Oh when will they learn....  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: honeymoonbarbie on 06 April 2017, 10:42:50 pm
Had a phone conversation this evening where I was asked to dress in clothing that was easy to take off (like jeans and a tshirt), not have a shower before the booking and to bring a spare pair of knickers (reason for this was a surprise).

He then went on to ask me my age, my height and if it'd be okay for him to give me a bed bath as I would be too tall to fit in his bath tub. Tried to enquire as to if I'd allow him to use some kind of lubricating cream he'd bought online on my intimate area to "tighten me up" and then use random household objects to "stretch me out"

To top off this odd request and ensure I was who I claimed to be, he asked me what my name was, what my rates were, the hours I worked and if I could send him a link to my profile.

I wasn't even offered his name, nevermind screening verification for his home.

Needless to say, I gave that one a miss.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 08 April 2017, 10:29:36 am
A text received at 3.49am:

Hi this is me would love to meet you soon xx along with a full length 'selfie' that he's taken of himself in the mirror  ::)

 Then another text from him at 3.51am:  "I live in Sheffield and want some secret fun so hope you can help me x"

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 08 April 2017, 02:40:46 pm
Hi, will you deep throat until you vomit on my cock?'

Blocked.  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 08 April 2017, 05:15:08 pm
Quote from: GothGirl on 08 April 2017, 02:40:46 pm
Hi, will you deep throat until you vomit on my cock?'

Blocked.  :-X

I don't mind doing that.   ;D  Although worded like that I'd have ignored it too.  Screams TW.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 08 April 2017, 08:08:53 pm
Hi (my name) seen yr escort add. how can we meet. I WANT TO BE A NAUGHTY boy with u. do u do out calls thank u Alfie

Think il pass
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 08 April 2017, 09:02:48 pm
Quote from: SophieXXX on 06 April 2017, 09:38:21 pm
Haha! Oh when will they learn....  ;D

Never?
I'm sitting on my balcony contemplating full moon. May explain half of the shit we are getting ATM but I'm still waiting for my werewolf:)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 08 April 2017, 09:15:26 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 08 April 2017, 09:02:48 pm
Never?
I'm sitting on my balcony contemplating full moon. May explain half of the shit we are getting ATM but I'm still waiting for my werewolf:)

Remember its been the grand national today, iv had an influx of morons this aft
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 08 April 2017, 09:21:11 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 08 April 2017, 09:15:26 pm
Remember its been the grand national today, iv had an influx of morons this aft

What is that? Because I had a grand total of 2 cancellations, 2 no shows, 1 who said he was downstairs (he wasn't), one bareback, one aggressive, and a shitload of I can't even tell what language they spoke...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 08 April 2017, 09:23:58 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 08 April 2017, 09:21:11 pm
What is that? Because I had a grand total of 2 cancellations, 2 no shows, 1 who said he was downstairs (he wasn't), one bareback, one aggressive, and a shitload of I can't even tell what language they spoke...

the biggest horse racing event in England
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 08 April 2017, 09:26:15 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 08 April 2017, 09:23:58 pm
the biggest horse racing event in England

Ohhhh Ok. Thanks! I'll just go admire Klaus and Elijah then:)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 09 April 2017, 07:13:30 am
When they send me their role play and want me to horny talk for the whole hour straight. In 5 years I've never had to do horny talk for that long and guys enjoy me coming back. So not going to start now. I don't mind the rest of the request although set some boundaries.  So I don't feel uncomfortable doing because this isn't an everyday request. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Zo on 09 April 2017, 08:33:15 am
Recived this morning: had a good laugh and felt sick at the same time.  (Yuk)

Hi babes i am partick how are you i am single and looking forward to havibg a relationship with you but i must warn you i am not a skinny bone iam a very hairy big boy with a big hairy dick and balls and juicy hairy belly you can lick on kisses and we may talk on whats lapp i am from germany.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 09 April 2017, 11:51:09 am
Quote from: Zo on 09 April 2017, 08:33:15 am
Recived this morning: had a good laugh and felt sick at the same time.  (Yuk)

Hi babes i am partick how are you i am single and looking forward to havibg a relationship with you but i must warn you i am not a skinny bone iam a very hairy big boy with a big hairy dick and balls and juicy hairy belly you can lick on kisses and we may talk on whats lapp i am from germany.
Ewwww! lick his hairy belly  ??? pmsl.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Naughtyforty on 09 April 2017, 10:28:49 pm
Hi. I'm a qualified experienced joiner. So if you need any jobs done new skirtings, doors we could come to an arrangement?
  :FF


Well I think that's what it says, the spelling is atrocious. I was tempted to send back no mate its a decorator  I need but thought I can't be arsed with him now remembering his year at wallpapering college
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetshycanada on 10 April 2017, 06:52:56 am
This precious gem just came at 1:30am my time...

Hey sexy are you available? I need you7 now.  I'm going to jail in the morning ok?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 10 April 2017, 07:32:25 am
Via AW:
"hi can you see me about 3 pm today for 15 mins thks x"

I replied with my standard "Yes I have availability then, please give me a call at 2pm to confirm and get location details"

I then get his AW auto reply (full of spelling and grammatical errors), yes the deluded fool thinks he's a male escort.

Then this human reply:
"will be around 2 becuse iof the marathon i coming down into brighton late can you just ext me the street and will later just need to know which part of town [his phone number]"

"Which part of town" is written on both my summary line, and in bold on the first line of my profile. Needless to say I didn't text him.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 10 April 2017, 10:51:22 am
Quote from: sweetshycanada on 10 April 2017, 06:52:56 am
This precious gem just came at 1:30am my time...

Hey sexy are you available? I need you7 now.  I'm going to jail in the morning ok?

Oh what a catch  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 12 April 2017, 08:55:24 am
A client booked as normal then once through my front door he asked if had another escort her for his friend. I said no I don't. Then he said to go back down to see his friend
 I wouldn't see him any way. Then he tested me sorry not tonight.

See how strangely odd some clients are this was 10pm last night. After he left I was thinking about what his motives could have been.

He shouldn't be with his friend.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 12 April 2017, 01:55:44 pm
Had someone call last night, and I think he literally asked me about everything I don't do, sometimes twice - anal, deepthroat, water sports, if I had another escort pal who could join us, rimming. He went on and on for a good 10 minutes, and I just kept trying to say 'Perhaps you should go and look at my website...' He found me on Backpage/Cracker. ::)

Said he would call back tonight about a possible booking. I hope he doesn't!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: loubyloo on 13 April 2017, 09:53:14 am
3rd phone call in 2days from some guy trying to pluck up the courage to book an apt.
Every excuse possible about not being able to get away, not having enough spare time, although he's dying to see me (yeah yeah)
Last call just now went 'I'll drop my wife and son off in town then I'll just pop along and introduce myself if that's ok as I don't have much time'

Ermmm no it's not! You pay for my time, I'm not a bloody freak show!

Moron............
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PassionFlower on 13 April 2017, 11:03:07 am
I've just had these three on the bounce:

1) AW message -

"Can you please send me a private email or text:
details-removed-to-protect-the-daft@gmail.com
07ditto"

Erm... no? You managed to message me  ???

2) Phone call -

Him - "Hi I've seen your ad on AW and would like to come and see you"
Me - "Sure, what time would you like?"
Him - "Is 1'o'clock OK? Where abouts in Middlesbrough are you?
Me - "I'm actually based in Cramlington, though I will be touring down that way in..."
Phone - *Disconnected noise*

How rude!

3) Phone call from a gent who found me on backpage (First time using it so put a few pics and basic info plus my AW name and a line asking they look at pics, services, rates and reviews there)

Was a longer phone call than I normally do but he didn't check out my AW profile so needed more info

Turns out he's also in the Middlesbrough area so advised him about my upcoming tour in the area but as he was looking for an immediate visit I suggested a girl who's highly reviewed in the area

Him - "oh no, she's no good, she's far too big"
Me - "ah OK, then I should let you know I'm considerably bigger than her"
Him - "What size are you? 12?"
Me - "I'm actually a size 18-20"
Him - "..."
Him - "..."
Him - "..."
Him - "Well you sound really nice and I like the look of your pictures... I think I'll still see you when you're here"

 ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 13 April 2017, 11:28:35 am
I had a cracker on AW earlier.

"I need some pics to see if u r good enough to fuck"

What is he expecting?? Cara Delevigne??  ??? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 13 April 2017, 04:40:36 pm
New phone but have my contacts saved from my old phone, got a text from someone saved as 'norwich moron'

hi, just curious, were you on a train to norwich yesterday evening? i think i saw you! or at least someone gorgeous who looked like you :) x

I ignored the text,  25 mins later...

oh sorry hun i just read you dont reply to texts. im really shy/anxious about calls but could call you briefly if we end up meeting i think x

Again I ignored, 10 hours later...

i know you hate texts but i have to know whether you were the girl on the train to norwich in tight white jeans on tuesday because if so i missed out like crazy and definitly need to pick up the confidence to call you next time your around x

I drove to norwich so deffo wasnt me, classic time waster, trying to strike up free text chat with no intention of booking  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 14 April 2017, 08:50:33 am
Received a, "Hi," text last night so my auto reply went out saying I don't respond to texts. So he called and got my, "I am not available until 10am," text to which he replied, "Oh fuck off."

What a charmer. Perhaps if he had read my ad he would have saved himself the trouble!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 14 April 2017, 03:15:06 pm
The subject is just "booking".

"I HOW CAN Y SEE YOU."

Whaaaaaat?? ???
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VioletSkies on 14 April 2017, 11:48:13 pm
A few days ago I answered the phone just as he was hanging up, but in time to hear him angrily mutter something.
After a few seconds I realised he's said "whore!", clearly maddened by my not answering the phone lol.
He then txted: "You free tonight?" And called once again  ::)

 I was tempted to answer just to let him know he should work on hanging up properly  ;D
Needless to say he's on the blocked list...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: London Mature on 16 April 2017, 11:26:18 am
Currently playing with someone who has 3 different aliases and no FB on any who cant answer a simple question.

Thinks I was born yesterday
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 17 April 2017, 09:58:01 pm
Got an email on the 27/3/3017 asking if I was far from Bradford.Replied and told him I was in Leeds as per my profile..silly question really as you can google map how far you are or work out yourself if Leeds is nearby enough to where you are coming from!
He replied TODAY...nearly a month on to tell me he doesn't think Bradford is too far away...I mean ffs! ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katiexxx on 18 April 2017, 07:42:30 pm
Him: Hi are you working? Thanks
Me: sorry just finished
Him: :( I've got a big cock if that helps
Him: At least I tried lol but it is big! How about we watch a film together and be friends?
Him: :( Ok bye
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 19 April 2017, 10:43:45 am
By mail .

When are you free and do you get nice and juicy down there which I love ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 19 April 2017, 12:49:22 pm
Bloke rings wanting to see me asap at 11:30 told him I could do 1pm..no good for him.Fair enough.
Rings me at 12:30 and asks if 1pm is still available.Told him it was he thens asks if I can do earlier...nope 1pm!He then says so it will be dead on 1pm then..yes I can see you at 1pm as I told you when you first rang and as I have told you 3 times on this call!He then asks for 15 mins and then asks how many times he can come..at which point I said 'It's a basic cheap quickie seriously how many times are you likely to be able to come?!?Told him we'd leave it..prat! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 19 April 2017, 02:17:33 pm
Guy - Hi, can you do an outcall today ?

Me - yes, what's the postcode, so I can check distance etc ?

   - can be there by 5pm (this is the earliest with travelling)

Guy - can you be here by 3pm if I pay more Hun????

Me - (the only reply that I think is reasonable ) ... no sorry , I don't have a time machine.

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetmilf on 19 April 2017, 02:29:01 pm
Has anyone else got this stu**d email via AW? North West area?
He has feedbacks going back in 2014, nothing new.
Looks like a typical copy and paste to me.

+++

Subject: Re: Honest, very honest enquiery
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hello, I'd really love to meet you, but i prefer the opportunity for you to refuse me, because i respect you! So, please read this letter and see if you are ok with my needs.

3 hours midday soon? Saturday, but I'm flexible.

I'd be mortified to offend you or hurt you in any way! Very happy to have a shower when i get there.

No idea where you are,,, Garstang??? I'd need to know for timing.

Please be dressed as you wish. I prefer, a blouse, no bra, no panties and a skirt.. i really do not like shoes or boots. So could you be bare foot please.

Obviously, you are in charge at all times. However, you hint in your profile, you may pretend or act the part of a submissive. This i hope you can act out, but i will not take advantage. It's all pretend.

I would like to spank you, but not hard, I'm just not like that. But I'd like you to pretend cry when i spank you.  You'll barely notice I've spanked you I'd feel terrible if it hurt. I'm not like that!

I have very bad teeth, so no lips on lips kissing is expected. If you could possibly kiss and lick the rest of my body, I'd thankyou.

I'd enjoy every naughtiness from the waist down "with" condoms, I'm not an idiot. However, above the waist i prefer "no condoms". I hope to cum in your mouth. Very deep throat!

I like the missionary position, with your legs over your shoulders, held down. If you say stop, I'll stop immediately.  If you could cry, I'd like that!!

I have a mains powered vibrator,,, goes on not in, wears a condom. I would like to hold you down while you cum,,,, several times.

I'm very sorry, but i would like to fuck you anally. I need to know in advance how you like this to be done. Quite happy to be very gentle, but you might like rough, up to you obv.

I am honest, please read my feed back before you decide.

Kind regards
-----------------------------------------------------------------



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 19 April 2017, 02:54:04 pm
Nope not had that one but it would be an immediate block from me..he sounds vile!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sexymilf on 19 April 2017, 03:57:42 pm
I wouldnt go for that one either x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 19 April 2017, 05:24:26 pm

He sounds foul  :o



Quote from: sweetmilf on 19 April 2017, 02:29:01 pm
Has anyone else got this stu**d email via AW? North West area?
He has feedbacks going back in 2014, nothing new.
Looks like a typical copy and paste to me.

+++

Subject: Re: Honest, very honest enquiery
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hello, I'd really love to meet you, but i prefer the opportunity for you to refuse me, because i respect you! So, please read this letter and see if you are ok with my needs.

3 hours midday soon? Saturday, but I'm flexible.

I'd be mortified to offend you or hurt you in any way! Very happy to have a shower when i get there.

No idea where you are,,, Garstang??? I'd need to know for timing.

Please be dressed as you wish. I prefer, a blouse, no bra, no panties and a skirt.. i really do not like shoes or boots. So could you be bare foot please.

Obviously, you are in charge at all times. However, you hint in your profile, you may pretend or act the part of a submissive. This i hope you can act out, but i will not take advantage. It's all pretend.

I would like to spank you, but not hard, I'm just not like that. But I'd like you to pretend cry when i spank you.  You'll barely notice I've spanked you I'd feel terrible if it hurt. I'm not like that!

I have very bad teeth, so no lips on lips kissing is expected. If you could possibly kiss and lick the rest of my body, I'd thankyou.

I'd enjoy every naughtiness from the waist down "with" condoms, I'm not an idiot. However, above the waist i prefer "no condoms". I hope to cum in your mouth. Very deep throat!

I like the missionary position, with your legs over your shoulders, held down. If you say stop, I'll stop immediately.  If you could cry, I'd like that!!

I have a mains powered vibrator,,, goes on not in, wears a condom. I would like to hold you down while you cum,,,, several times.

I'm very sorry, but i would like to fuck you anally. I need to know in advance how you like this to be done. Quite happy to be very gentle, but you might like rough, up to you obv.

I am honest, please read my feed back before you decide.

Kind regards
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetmilf on 19 April 2017, 05:34:47 pm
Thank you for your perfect feedbacks, Ladies.  ;D xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 19 April 2017, 05:50:14 pm
Quote from: sweetmilf on 19 April 2017, 02:29:01 pm
because i respect you!

The minute they start waffling about respecting me is a red flag for either a TW or someone much worse.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetmilf on 19 April 2017, 06:52:10 pm
Oh Yes.  ;D  I quite agree.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 20 April 2017, 08:39:46 am
"I'm very sorry, but I would like to fuck you anally" is the strangest thing I think I've ever read  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PassionFlower on 20 April 2017, 09:18:59 am
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 20 April 2017, 08:39:46 am
"I'm very sorry, but I would like to fuck you anally" is the strangest thing I think I've ever read  ???

Exactly, nothing he asks for is really that bad, but why apologise for it?  That's what makes me think he's be a nightmare client
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetmilf on 20 April 2017, 10:36:33 am
Yes, that's true.

He's a fantasist.  One of the typical many fantasists, who "lurks around" over Adultwork.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 20 April 2017, 12:11:23 pm
What makes me laugh is when he says 'Please dress as you wish' but then asks for blouse,no bra and barefeet.Total tosser!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 20 April 2017, 03:19:43 pm
hello love I have one big fantasy and is to deepthroat throatfuck reverse deepthroat any position deepthroat all the way no matter how long an thick is it cum in mouth a true pornstar experience session tell me can you give me this session? and more if you can

 ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PassionFlower on 20 April 2017, 05:05:23 pm
"What do I get in a 15min oral only session?"

Well we start by going for dinner and a movie, maybe split a bottle of wine?  Then back to mine for 3 hours of incredible bareback sex, anal, vaginal, aural... Whatever you want! But it doesn't end there!  Then I shave my head, get a tattoo of your face all down my back and start a cult in your honour, I bear your children and raise them to worship you as the one true God

Sometimes even I'm surprised by how bitchy and sarcastic my internal monologue is...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SophieinSurrey on 21 April 2017, 07:33:27 am
Hi Sophie,
I am visiting London in July for 5 days/nites, staying in luxury suite and 4 poster bed breakfast included in Earls Court, saw your profile and very interested in an Incall or Outcall booking for 3hrs with you or straight to an Overnite booking and more in Winter and next year when I visit London again.
I am late 40s, Single, athletic build, perfect shaped cock and work as an NHS Professional at a Teaching Hospital. I have regular checks at NHS Warrington STI Clinic and made my 88th Blood Tests and Donation on 10th March 2017; previously tested in Nov, July and February 2016, all results Negative for 25+ yrs and will bring the latest NHS Mersey National Blood and Transplant Service Documents with me as proof and ID.
I will also be tested @ 56 DEAN ST CLINIC EXPRESS, SOHO when I arrive on 26th July as I do every time I visit London, just to make sure i am clean and clear. I have one little request, I am not keen on condoms.

I would like Sex bareback, but NOT to completion, pull out and cum on your body or where you want me to. I will bring Champagne, Wine or Spirits if you prefer to make things more enjoyable. I can also bring exotic massage oils and creams, good quality poppers (no headache) or if u prefer something stronger white and Columbian!!. I also have a cock ring and tingly gel. I am fully shaven and looking for a regular, adventurous lady to see, when I visit London, which which will include overnites. You can check out my v good feedback on AW at Ashes1. I hope this gives you a little information and hope to see you soon.
Best wishes
Anthony xxx

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 21 April 2017, 08:47:15 am
Yes that email has been on this thread before.He clearly gets about a bit!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 21 April 2017, 03:13:32 pm
Idiot with a London accent ringing from an Australian number,clearly using some sort of number shielding software.
Starts off ok then asks if he can ask my professional opinion on something...'Would you say that 5 inches...'I just cut him off with 'If you want my professional input then it costs my professional fees as listed on my profile' and then I put the phone down! ::)No free cock humiliation!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 21 April 2017, 04:25:02 pm

LMAO

Quote from: Jessi_Black on 20 April 2017, 05:05:23 pm
"What do I get in a 15min oral only session?"

Well we start by going for dinner and a movie, maybe split a bottle of wine?  Then back to mine for 3 hours of incredible bareback sex, anal, vaginal, aural... Whatever you want! But it doesn't end there!  Then I shave my head, get a tattoo of your face all down my back and start a cult in your honour, I bear your children and raise them to worship you as the one true God

Sometimes even I'm surprised by how bitchy and sarcastic my internal monologue is...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 21 April 2017, 04:29:29 pm
New client texting back and forth all day asking questions that are already answered on my profile. Already have a dodgy feeling ... Asks when I'm free ... '530pm'

No reply for an hour, so I text asking do you want the 530 slot '

His reply ...

'Why?'

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sam T on 21 April 2017, 04:59:58 pm
....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 21 April 2017, 05:31:55 pm
Had a guy call me, he sounded normal, all agreed a time tomoz and he asked could we go on cam, I do this so no biggy, then he said 'I want to skype my girlfriend and break up with her' prob a fantasist but what a charmer  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: QueenB on 21 April 2017, 05:38:37 pm
I lost patience with texters years ago. I ignore them completely now unless its someone i have seen before. I realise that they copy and paste and send them out to many girls. When you get the usual 'Are you available? text and you reply within 5 minutes to call you to book and they don't, only to send you the same text again the week after. So no more, Callers are more genuine?!  Despite putting ;NO TEXTS PLEASE on my profile it still happens and I'm not tempted to respond.

But these are of my all time favourites from the archives

1) Sorry I'm will have to cancel. I'm nervous and i have never paid for sex before.

My reply: Neither have I!

2)What do i get for ?40?

My reply: A weeks shopping?

3)Hi x

My reply: I'm sure you are

4)Postcode address please (this is someone's idea of an initial enquiry sent 5 times in one week)

blocked

5) How much for a bj and a fuck?

blocked

A guy booked a on my last tour but didn't show up, no text , no nothing so saved him as no show. Back in the area again and he sent me a text (obviously forgot who i was)

guy: Can we meet please?
Me: NO
guy: Who's this?
Me: Who's this?
haven't heard from him since

I love it when they call up and go through what they want then ask 'how much?' at the end of the conversation then realise they cant afford it. Who calls a girl without checking her rates first lol

Guy 2 booked via phone, sent partial address but didn't show up. save as no show. Called me when i was back on tour and asked if i was free? I said 'No' and i tell you why because you booked last month and didn't bother to turn up or text to cancel you crud. He put the phone down (idiot) :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetmilf on 22 April 2017, 08:56:37 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 20 April 2017, 12:11:23 pm
Total tosser!

I'm pleased to know my screening was all good.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetmilf on 22 April 2017, 09:02:19 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 21 April 2017, 08:47:15 am
Yes that email has been on this thread before.He clearly gets about a bit!

So it seems he does!!!

I believe the punter is genuine.  I got his message before, declined to offer even with the "genuine" piece of paper, which anyone can get, but he had seen quite a few established escorts based on AW feedbacks.   Their free choice.  I often wondered if he's claiming escorts fees on his "account".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetmilf on 22 April 2017, 09:12:09 am
Quote from: DemiDD on 21 April 2017, 05:38:37 pm
I lost patience with texters years ago. I ignore them completely now unless its someone i have seen before.
I get texts from guys whom I had seen before.  They seem to love texting for the sake of it, asking to meet up but these texts rarely /or NEVER results in actual bookings (and I already know that because they can't work out their schedule themselves).  AND They know.  I'm thinking of stopping these texts "service" for no fees.  Seriously.   ::)  It's just time wasting.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 22 April 2017, 08:40:39 pm
Quote from: Jessi_Black on 20 April 2017, 05:05:23 pm
"What do I get in a 15min oral only session?"

Well we start by going for dinner and a movie, maybe split a bottle of wine?  Then back to mine for 3 hours of incredible bareback sex, anal, vaginal, aural... Whatever you want! But it doesn't end there!  Then I shave my head, get a tattoo of your face all down my back and start a cult in your honour, I bear your children and raise them to worship you as the one true God

Sometimes even I'm surprised by how bitchy and sarcastic my internal monologue is...
Ya ha ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 22 April 2017, 08:45:57 pm
Quote from: DemiDD on 21 April 2017, 05:38:37 pm

2)What do i get for ?40?

My reply: A weeks shopping?

Tee-hee!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 22 April 2017, 09:10:09 pm
I do not show my face on photos but have one or two with my smiley mouth and pink lipstick, one man emailed to book and said he loved my white straight teeth and that I must take good care of them.  I replied yes and I clean them every week whether they need it or not.

He didn't book, obviously needs a humour transplant.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: QueenB on 23 April 2017, 12:52:42 pm
Quote from: sweetmilf on 22 April 2017, 09:12:09 am

I get texts from guys whom I had seen before.  They seem to love texting for the sake of it, asking to meet up but these texts rarely /or NEVER results in actual bookings (and I already know that because they can't work out their schedule themselves).  AND They know.  I'm thinking of stopping these texts "service" for no fees.  Seriously.   ::)  It's just time wasting.

Yeah I get the odd repeat booker who will text and dilly dally for a few hours, they just get it into the ignore file. Regular regulars are not too bad. I find the single ones seem to be the worse culprits.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aleshaxx on 24 April 2017, 11:51:48 am
Quote from: Jessi_Black on 20 April 2017, 05:05:23 pm
"What do I get in a 15min oral only session?"

Well we start by going for dinner and a movie, maybe split a bottle of wine?  Then back to mine for 3 hours of incredible bareback sex, anal, vaginal, aural... Whatever you want! But it doesn't end there!  Then I shave my head, get a tattoo of your face all down my back and start a cult in your honour, I bear your children and raise them to worship you as the one true God

Sometimes even I'm surprised by how bitchy and sarcastic my internal monologue is...
You've made my day hahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 24 April 2017, 01:05:16 pm
Email from a 22 year old with 0 feedback


Hi sexy are you free to come suck my big young cock i want you Xx


 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 24 April 2017, 03:14:36 pm

Hi hun do you offer unprotected sex and can I have your postcode x
 

                 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 24 April 2017, 05:44:18 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 24 April 2017, 01:05:16 pm
Email from a 22 year old with 0 feedback


Hi sexy are you free to come suck my big young cock i want you Xx


Hahahaha I had similar this morning. Why do they think that by giving us their young age that we'll want to see them even more  :-[
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 25 April 2017, 08:46:12 am
My profile clearly states nobody under 30.  Then a 21 year old texts stating his age.  I replied saying 'Can't you read profiles?'.

Hopeless!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 25 April 2017, 11:12:41 am
Quote
would u see me for ?60? For 30 min x only reason is that girl in (place and username omitted) is doing it for ?50 x just to let you know x

I told him to see her then and stop wasting my time. These cheapskates are so bloody annoying.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 25 April 2017, 01:28:56 pm
By text "Hi, it's George"  (who????)

Another texter "I've just seen your as but I can't call at the moment"

Honestly these baffle the mind.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 25 April 2017, 02:19:42 pm
I had the pleasure of recieving this email from a fantasist with 0 feedback


Well first we were walking in the woods and found ourselves in a secluded clearing, noticing the opportunity for some naughtiness we found a suitable tree stump and you bend over flashing your amazing arse.

I slowly unzip my jeans and you quickly unfold my cock - it's length and tip swelling in your hands much to your enjoyment. You slowly run your tongue over the tip as you expose the swollen tip, pre cum glistening in the sun.

I bend you over the log and trace my tongue around your perfect pussy and dart between your tight ass too, probing both holes with my tongue and plunging it deep into your pussy so I can taste your sweet juices...

Before not long you want more and I slide my cock inside you deep, I hold you down over the log with your arms behind your back and slowly pump you with my full length, gaining speed so my heavy balls bounce against your clit. You can feel how full they are. I playfully slide a finger in your tight ass as we fuck faster and deeper, my pre cum mixing with your own juices ready to receive my thick cum.

I can feel my balls tightening and push in as deep as I can so you feel each hot squirt of thick fertile cum deep inside your pussy, wave after wave of contractions as I keep cumming more and more, leaking down my shaft and onto the ground. We stand there for a minute to catch our breath and enjoy the moment before allowing it it leak out onto the ground....

Maybe next time I will get to try your other forbidden hole too... ;)

Xxx
 
I think I nearly threw up in my mouth.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: essmith on 25 April 2017, 02:41:16 pm
Him: Hi it's Pie*** from aw. Thank you for bidding on my reverse booking?
Me: Hi. Is Pie*** your aw nickname?
Him: yes Pie***

I check my bids history nothing with that nickname comes up  ???

Him:Can I see pic of you?
Me: Pics are on my profile.
Him: Nevermind, clearly not interested

:-\ hmmm probably not as I don't get who you are pretending to be and why do you need personalised service forwarding pictures that you can check on the profile anyway :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: QueenB on 25 April 2017, 03:37:41 pm
Random & impolite messages from degenerates, illiterates and social inept people

Texter put the phone down when i answered then sent me this: Hi Sorry my English is not good. Are you working today? (well your English looks fine to me)

How much for a bj and a fuck? (classy)

Can you text me your address? (Sure i can, i always send my address to complete strangers who i don't know or never spoken )

Good Flake/Coke available text or call (Sorry i am on a diet and Fizzy drinks are not good for you)

R U working today x postcode sex bareback and French kissing 1 hour (wtf)

Hey!! Anal? How much for alnighter? (Hey! Can YOU take a 9 inch strap on?)

Can i rum u 2 min on my kness (yes kness) nothing else for 10?
Same guy text 2:
Can i judt (yes judt) 5 min rim u for 10?? (clearly not as i didn't respond to your last stupid text)

Ah no texts shame no worries (like i really am loosing out by not texting you)

Client who booked and was texting me while on his way (apparently)

Him: I'm so horny now miss x
Me: How long are you going to be?
Him: 5 mins I'm driving with a hard on
Me: Are you lost? time is getting on
Him: I accidentally shot my load everywhere babe I'm sorry x
Me: You are a prick and one i will not forget
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Escortx on 25 April 2017, 06:39:37 pm
Getting annoyed at so many questions allready answered or on my profile
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Romily on 25 April 2017, 09:15:25 pm
Message on AW today :



Prick: where are you based in xxxx ( name of my town )
Me: im near the train station
Prick: cool . Car park ?


Me : block

I have no patience nowadays.
Only pricks write such things without even saying hi and introducing themselves.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MandyVine on 25 April 2017, 09:48:59 pm
Quote from: DemiDD on 25 April 2017, 03:37:41 pm
Can i rum u 2 min on my kness (yes kness) nothing else for 10?
Same guy text 2:
Can i judt (yes judt) 5 min rim u for 10?? (clearly not as i didn't respond to your last stupid text)

I am so sorry you are having to deal with these fools but for some reason this idiot made me literally lol.  Who ARE these people?  ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kitty_69 on 27 April 2017, 02:44:10 pm
Hi there i see you looking for a girl if i get my girl to work with you would it be ok for me to flim and join in now and again she will do it for free and me and you can come to an agreement the suits us all xx 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 28 April 2017, 03:51:29 am
When I log into my mailbox and see an email from someone who's profile name is 9INCHESANDTHICK

His profile features his cock pictures (of course).

His email: hi sexy, can I book you.
No. Hell, no :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SophieXXX on 28 April 2017, 01:22:42 pm
How not to book an escort...by not booking them at all!

I'm on tour at the moment in a hotel that a few escorts work from so some guys work out from the general area where you're staying. A guy rang up for an appointment, I explained that I was booked but could contact him if anything became available. He called back, I wasn't available but said I was free at 7:30 at which point he said bye and hung up. I get another client booked in for 8pm, lo and behold original guy rings me at 7:30 to say he's outside and what's my room number! When I explained he hadn't booked so I wasn't ready or available.....then the hassle starts about how I'm the timewaster and blah blah blah.

One of the oddest ones I've had so far!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 28 April 2017, 03:41:49 pm
Another lovely human with 0 feedback sent me this today  :FF


Hello. I really love your profile and photos.

I'm looking for someone to buy photos from that I can use on a Tumblr blog. I want to create a personality of a girl on a blog where she posts selfies of herself and basically a way for me to express my feminine side.

I would create a name and identity for the girl I wish to be so will therefore not be using your identity (other than your photos).

This is not "catfishing" as I will not use the profile to "date" or build relationships...just to experience posting photos as a beautiful girl.

I hope you reply x x x
 
Another what the fuck moment.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 28 April 2017, 04:47:07 pm
Him: Can I just ask you a couple of questions?
Me: [now I think you're a TW] OK.
Him: When you do deep french kissing, do you use your proper tongue and that?
Me: No, I use a fake one that I keep in my handbag. [Hangs up]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PassionFlower on 28 April 2017, 04:49:32 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 28 April 2017, 04:47:07 pm
Him: Can I just ask you a couple of questions?
Me: [now I think you're a TW] OK.
Him: When you do deep french kissing, do you use your proper tongue and that?
Me: No, I use a fake one that I keep in my handbag. [Hangs up]

That made me laugh so hard my cat is giving me a funny look!

I think I've hurt myself haha x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 28 April 2017, 04:50:27 pm
I get a call this morning, guy starts asking questions which are clearly on my profile, I answer a couple, confirm my location and then refer him back to my profile/website.

About 15 mins later he calls back, asking if I'm available now. I said yes, how long will it take him to get here and ask where he is at the moment. He says he's in the north west - I am in the south east! I remind him that I told him where I was the last time he rang and that it's miles away from him!

About an hour later I saw he called again - this time I chose to not answer!

What's wrong with some people  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 28 April 2017, 05:53:01 pm
It could be that Friday excitement syndrome which some guys seem to suffer from, a weekend off work or in this case a bank holiday extra day and they are full of giddyness.

A man I have not met who booked and cancelled me last year because his girlfriend was on her way home (ok then whatever you say sir) then decided to text me at 2am today asking if I am free today.  I read his text at 8am today so for fun I replied that he had cancelled me last year. His response was "hey how good are you! what a memory!"

3 hours later he texted "so? are you available today?"  My final reply was yes but not for you.

I think he got the message.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetmilf on 28 April 2017, 06:47:22 pm
It makes me wonder if this thread ought to be renamed as "What TWs tell you when he pretends he wants to book you?".  There are loads of them at the moment.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 29 April 2017, 04:00:22 am
Quote from: MeganCarterMay on 28 April 2017, 03:41:49 pm
Another lovely human with 0 feedback sent me this today  :FF


Hello. I really love your profile and photos.

I'm looking for someone to buy photos from that I can use on a Tumblr blog. I want to create a personality of a girl on a blog where she posts selfies of herself and basically a way for me to express my feminine side.

I would create a name and identity for the girl I wish to be so will therefore not be using your identity (other than your photos).

This is not "catfishing" as I will not use the profile to "date" or build relationships...just to experience posting photos as a beautiful girl.

I hope you reply x x x
 
Another what the fuck moment.

He wants to make money from pretending to be a woman.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 29 April 2017, 04:01:08 am
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 28 April 2017, 04:47:07 pm
Him: Can I just ask you a couple of questions?
Me: [now I think you're a TW] OK.
Him: When you do deep french kissing, do you use your proper tongue and that?
Me: No, I use a fake one that I keep in my handbag. [Hangs up]

OMG  ;D :D ;D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 29 April 2017, 11:10:36 am
I don't know about anyone else but I find whenever I use Available Today I get a massive increase in Time-wasting..

So far today I've had 3 calls from guys who clearly did the equivalent of shutting their eyes and sticking a pin in a map...

The first after asking basics like price and location requests that I 'tell him about myself' so I refer him to my profile

The second after asking basics then says 'do I do sex without a condom' I said no way..

The third asked a string of questions and I'm pretty sure he won't show 🙄🙄🙄
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 29 April 2017, 11:42:06 am
Just received a text saying 'incall today' I find it soooooo rude these kind of texts
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 29 April 2017, 12:22:18 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 28 April 2017, 04:47:07 pm
Him: Can I just ask you a couple of questions?
Me: [now I think you're a TW] OK.
Him: When you do deep french kissing, do you use your proper tongue and that?
Me: No, I use a fake one that I keep in my handbag. [Hangs up]
Ya ha ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 29 April 2017, 12:59:11 pm
And the ones who start off an email or a phone call with 'I know this isn't on your profile but...will you do X Y Z'  🙄🙄🙄🙄
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 29 April 2017, 01:01:17 pm
Or the jokers who email you and say 'May I ask you something?' and that is ALL they put!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 29 April 2017, 01:10:51 pm
End of phone call...

Him:  do you want me to send you a picture.

Me:  no that's not necessary just confirm please

HOHUM I guess that's probably a no-show then
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 29 April 2017, 01:19:04 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 29 April 2017, 11:10:36 am
I don't know about anyone else but I find whenever I use Available Today I get a massive increase in Time-wasting..

So far today I've had 3 calls from guys who clearly did the equivalent of shutting their eyes and sticking a pin in a map...

The first after asking basics like price and location requests that I 'tell him about myself' so I refer him to my profile

The second after asking basics then says 'do I do sex without a condom' I said no way..

The third asked a string of questions and I'm pretty sure he won't show 🙄🙄🙄

Don't you find guys who seem to be 'in a rush' over the phone are either TWs or no shows. This is my experience anyway. Texts like - Hi, are you available?' Then he rings you ten minutes later, in too much of a rush to say anything but hi are you available? When I say no sorry I'm not they just hang up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 29 April 2017, 01:26:37 pm
Quote from: Gypsy on 29 April 2017, 01:19:04 pm
Don't you find guys who seem to be 'in a rush' over the phone are either TWs or no shows. This is my experience anyway. Texts like - Hi, are you available?' Then he rings you ten minutes later, in too much of a rush to say anything but hi are you available? When I say no sorry I'm not they just hang up.

 Pretty often they are  and usually haven't  looked at your profile at all
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetmilf on 29 April 2017, 07:04:38 pm
I have had a typical one of these.  Eventually, I declined to see him.  He never reads when I am available.  Always on his term, "I'm available now so you see me now" regardless of my availability.  Just arrogant.  He wants to dump his load and he expects you to be the dumpee, not someone.  He treats like a hole. He throws his cash at me and I should be available when he is free.    It simply won't work.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 29 April 2017, 09:35:14 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 29 April 2017, 11:42:06 am
Just received a text saying 'incall today' I find it soooooo rude these kind of texts

I once had a text saying "Outcall now"  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 30 April 2017, 02:06:30 pm
Woke up this morning to the email from the Polish bloke with three pics of his naked grandmother attached and two texts:

Pos code plise ledie
I'm hungury, feed me your shit

FML...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 30 April 2017, 02:12:25 pm
Quote from: Kay on 30 April 2017, 02:06:30 pm
Woke up this morning to the email from the Polish bloke with three pics of his naked grandmother attached and two texts:

Pos code plise ledie
I'm hungury, feed me your shit

FML...
God I've had this email several times!The first one was on about his mother and the picture was of a dressed elderly lady and so I actually thought he had mistakenly emailed me and so I emailed back like a dickhead to tell him he had the wrong person!This was through local escorts.He's emailed again twice and I've just set his emails to go straight to spam.Google translate didn't mention anything about eating shit so I just thought it was a genuine mistake!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: The_Lynx on 30 April 2017, 02:41:39 pm
Quote from: Kay on 30 April 2017, 02:06:30 pm
Woke up this morning to the email from the Polish bloke with three pics of his naked grandmother attached and two texts:

Pos code plise ledie
I'm hungury, feed me your shit

FML...

Oh dear god, lol. I always feel second-hand bad when folks from PL act like utter morons, so sorry about some of our idiots getting out of the pen. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 30 April 2017, 04:45:37 pm
Just had a phone call (in broken English )

Me: hello how can I help?

Idiot: text me addresss

Me: pardon?

Idiot: TEXT ADDRESS NOW

me: sorry? Do you have a booking?

Idiot: no but I come now you text address

Me: obviously bloody not! *hung up*

 :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 30 April 2017, 04:46:33 pm
Also received this at 3AM -

'Hey R u free now for outcall for 3 guys????'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 30 April 2017, 05:52:46 pm
Text today:

Be my wife  :-* :-*  :-* :-*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 30 April 2017, 06:17:51 pm
Quote from: Kay on 30 April 2017, 02:06:30 pm
Woke up this morning to the email from the Polish bloke with three pics of his naked grandmother attached and two texts:

Pos code plise ledie
I'm hungury, feed me your shit

FML...

I get these at least once a week - who the hell is doing this, do they think we are men looking for a dirty GILF experience?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 01 May 2017, 02:39:20 pm
Text today:

BONDAGE NOW
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 01 May 2017, 04:17:03 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 30 April 2017, 05:52:46 pm
Text today:

Be my wife  :-* :-*  :-* :-*

From the same guy, follow-up text:

Im beg you Princess

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 01 May 2017, 05:12:53 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 30 April 2017, 05:52:46 pm
Text today:

Be my wife  :-* :-*  :-* :-*

My reply to this when I'm on cam is: "I don't think my husband would approve". Puts them right off. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 01 May 2017, 06:03:49 pm
Him - 'Hi, can you do an outcall to so and so?'

Me - 'not without any feedback sorry, just a safety precaution.'

Him - 'but my mum will be here?'

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 02 May 2017, 12:08:03 am
Some bloke wanting a booking on Saturday really pissed me off today.It took him 3 texts of waffle for him to tell me a time and length of booking then he askes me what my name was?!?
I fobbed him off by sending him my website link and telling him my phone was going to be switched off as I had family stuff to attend to only to come home after spending the day helping to sort out a poorly elderly relative to find the following on my phone at 9:20pm
'I'm bi too can I suck a cock?'...I actually replied to him asking if he expected me to drag a random bloke off of the street for this and maybe he should text crap to a male escort instead and that oddly enough I wouldn't be meeting him or responding to any more of his texts.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SophieXXX on 02 May 2017, 12:39:41 am
E-mail on AW yesterday:

"Hi there would you be interested in me and you getting caught by my wife fucking each other i would pay you very well its a fantasie rhat i need to turn into reality if its somthing you would consider plz message me back thanks for your time x"

Erm, what?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lyrhaa on 02 May 2017, 02:05:01 am
Top things that will get you blocked

"Are u working B"

"Can I fuck you tonight"

"Are you horny"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 03 May 2017, 06:13:56 pm
Phone Call Just Now:

Him: No Hello....straight in with do you offer OWO
Me: What does my Profile Say?
Him: It doesn't say anything about that.
Me: So what does that mean?
Hi: .. ok...mumble mumble
Me: Yes I prefer my guys to read my profile...goodbye

<<hangs up

Not only is it not on my Enjoys, its in the strap line that my oral is protected, and mentioned at least twice on my profile  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 03 May 2017, 10:53:52 pm
It's not just in escorting that you get moron texts from idiots

 I sold my car recently and the amount of stupid random texts I got made me double check I hadn't put my work number on the advert bu mistake
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 03 May 2017, 11:17:05 pm
Quote from: ParisB on 03 May 2017, 10:53:52 pm
It's not just in escorting that you get moron texts from idiots

 I sold my car recently and the amount of stupid random texts I got made me double check I hadn't put my work number on the advert bu mistake


Oh god yeah when selling a car it can be a nightmare too with all the tyre kickers etc...in fact selling anything seems to bring out the worst in people: I put an ad in to sell some clothes and had some very odd texts from random desperates they seemed to assume it was ok to text weird things...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 04 May 2017, 10:16:17 am
Quote from: katrina on 03 May 2017, 11:17:05 pm

Oh god yeah when selling a car it can be a nightmare too with all the tyre kickers etc...in fact selling anything seems to bring out the worst in people: I put an ad in to sell some clothes and had some very odd texts from random desperates they seemed to assume it was ok to text weird things...

Long time ago when I was innocent I put a whole lot of shoes on sale on gumtree. Silly me put my phone number.
Well very quickly I found out that foot fetish is extremely popular:)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 04 May 2017, 10:25:45 am
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 04 May 2017, 10:16:17 am
Long time ago when I was innocent I put a whole lot of shoes on sale on gumtree. Silly me put my phone number.
Well very quickly I found out that foot fetish is extremely popular:)

I was selling a bra (new) on ebay, I got a message asking if I could send a picture of me wearing it. I replied, pretending to be a man ;) asking if he'd like me to shave my chest first :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 04 May 2017, 11:27:42 am
It's like a permanent full moon so far this week.I've had people booking in then asking for bareback,guys ringing up demanding my full address without even any vague plans for an appointment,people ringing up stoned then today some idiot texting that it's a shame I don't go to Hull (I don't offer outcalls) and telling me my tits could do anything...really?I don't think they could do origami or fly a plane!
Then a total knob who politely asked what I was working today as he was free all day.Told him anytime between 12:30 until 7pm for him to reply asking for 'now' then telling me 12:30 was too late as he had something on later?!? Then asking for 12...I give up! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 04 May 2017, 11:54:32 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 04 May 2017, 11:27:42 am
It's like a permanent full moon so far this week.I've had people booking in then asking for bareback,guys ringing up demanding my full address without even any vague plans for an appointment,people ringing up stoned then today some idiot texting that it's a shame I don't go to Hull (I don't offer outcalls) and telling me my tits could do anything...really?I don't think they could do origami or fly a plane!
Then a total knob who politely asked what I was working today as he was free all day.Told him anytime between 12:30 until 7pm for him to reply asking for 'now' then telling me 12:30 was too late as he had something on later?!? Then asking for 12...I give up! :FF

OMG  that is exactly what I had over the weekend into Tuesday on tour  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 04 May 2017, 02:30:08 pm
Via AW email.

Quote
Wow u look amazing i would swap my wife for u any day! lol i just joined the site and am after a regular woman i can see maybe 2 to 4 times a month if the price is wright am from nottingham am 6ft3 british born asian guy slimish build am 31yrs old and my cocksize is 7.5 to 8inches long with no foreskin and am clean shaven to. Am laid back and easy to get along with am an aries startsign ;)

Ive been married for 6yrs now and my sex life has gone downhill ive not slept with anyone eles since i been with her would u beleave! so am a little shy to be honest but what am after to start of with is massage and oral sex because i hate comdoms when having sex and i dont knw if i can trust u. I dont mind getting a health check done on my part but could i trust u to go without if we was to have sex?x i rather want if i was ur regular i be the only 1 u do it with unless u knw u can trust other guys to.

But for now i love a woman who swallows cum while sucking tho so if u swallow thats perfect.xxxxxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 04 May 2017, 03:32:41 pm
Receiving a tempting text stating 'Are you fucking today'.

The charm just overwhelms doesn't it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 04 May 2017, 03:51:29 pm
Hi (my name)
I would like to have some fun, dont use condoms though, would you be interested
 ::)
Makes a change from the usual bareback?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetmilf on 04 May 2017, 06:23:36 pm
Had a couple of one-liners.    They really show their high "emotional" intelligence.  Not.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katiexxx on 04 May 2017, 07:37:44 pm
Him: You do out call
Me: Yes
Him: Haw mach
Me: It's on my profile ?140/1 hour
Him: Ok
Him: You do enal
Him Yes
Him: Yes or no

Blocked...
 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetmilf on 04 May 2017, 10:57:24 pm
I had someone who wrote, "can I see u To Day ? .? ".  Guessing typing with one hand.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 04 May 2017, 11:12:05 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 04 May 2017, 03:51:29 pm
Hi (my name)
I would like to have some fun, dont use condoms though, would you be interested
 ::)
Makes a change from the usual bareback?

Makes a change also that he actually referred to you by your name  :o So many rude arseholes lately don't even bother its usually just "Hi" then whatever they have to say  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Adele7 on 05 May 2017, 09:22:30 am
Havent read through the thread but anyone that calls me "BABE" will not get to see me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 05 May 2017, 01:45:27 pm
Quote from: Adele7 on 05 May 2017, 09:22:30 am
Havent read through the thread but anyone that calls me "BABE" will not get to see me!

Same here. In fact, just had a text like this.
Hey babe, where are you located?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Adele7 on 05 May 2017, 02:56:00 pm
And also, "What are your prices" Rrrr I get so irritated. I mean, why do we spend time on profiles.

But hold on, just remembered the ones who call and say "What is your name"?  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 05 May 2017, 06:25:35 pm
Quote from: Adele7 on 05 May 2017, 02:56:00 pm
And also, "What are your prices" Rrrr I get so irritated. I mean, why do we spend time on profiles.

But hold on, just remembered the ones who call and say "What is your name"?  :FF

I've been getting a lot of - how much is it? - enquiries lately. Surprisingly a few are genuine and I think they haven't done this before. I just say it depends on how long you want. You're paying for my time. They seem surprised.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 06 May 2017, 05:12:04 pm
AW email :


-----------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: I will meet [phone number] .    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX LOL DARLING
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Delicious
-----------------------------------------------------------------

What does this even mean  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 06 May 2017, 05:19:06 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 06 May 2017, 05:12:04 pm
AW email :


-----------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: I will meet [phone number] .    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX LOL DARLING
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Delicious
-----------------------------------------------------------------

What does this even mean  :FF

LOL is "Lots Of Love" in this case, I think. He wants you to phone him to arrange a meet. This seems like an older guy who is still getting to grips with technology.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 06 May 2017, 06:34:43 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 06 May 2017, 05:19:06 pm
LOL is "Lots Of Love" in this case, I think. He wants you to phone him to arrange a meet. This seems like an older guy who is still getting to grips with technology.

Ohhh, I hadn't thought of that. Well he can fuck off, I'm not ringing him, my phone number is on the advert. Bloody cheapskate!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 06 May 2017, 09:19:19 pm
By text at 2am ....

YO
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetmilf on 06 May 2017, 10:06:52 pm
Sent me a booking form without asking if I was available.  Then, he writes, " did not happen." Under feedback only.

Oh, thank you very much, you won't see me again after being so indiscreet and I wasn't even available.  You helped me decide nicely.  ;D. Don't I dislike poor manners and clingy combo. Very unattractive.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Adele7 on 06 May 2017, 11:58:43 pm
Quote from: ParisB on 03 May 2017, 10:53:52 pm
It's not just in escorting that you get moron texts from idiots

 I sold my car recently and the amount of stupid random texts I got made me double check I hadn't put my work number on the advert bu mistake
:D :D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Etoile on 07 May 2017, 09:51:01 pm
Text message:

"I saw your Vivastreet ad and I would like a 30 minutes incall this week. There are 2 ideas that I have and I would like to know which idea you are okay with:
1) You shit into my mouth.
OR
2) You shit into the toilet and instead of wiping your ass with toilet paper, I clean your asshole with my tongue.

Which idea are you okay with? Or are you okay with both ideas?"

 :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 10 May 2017, 09:52:21 am
A text from a number I've never had any contact with before:

'premiere inn room number [his room number]'

Like... I don't even offer outcalls.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 10 May 2017, 11:25:04 pm
Today's was sick. I get the usual "can we do mother and son roleplay" but this was brother and sister ok?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 11 May 2017, 04:28:46 pm
Had a call and I knew instantly I didn't like the sound of him..very young,chavvy and slightly stoned sounding.Told him I wasn't available 'Can't I come just for a bj?' 'No because I'm not available'...duh! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 11 May 2017, 07:32:25 pm
Someone I have already refused to see three times today 'can I be your toilet slave' after three times I have had enough and respond angrily saying no f**k off. He then has the cheek to ask why. That was it he got on my last nerve so I replied to him ''as a woman I am entitled to choose who I do and do not want to associate with. Now leave me alone and don't message me again' he carries on with 'but please I will do anything for you' I said leave me all be then you degenerate! He wanted me to use him as a full toilet slave which I do not offer and hardsports is a big no go so I'm Pissed off and in a bad mood now.

I also got a phone Wanker heavy breathing asking prices. And out of having a terrible sense of humour and wanting to ruin his pleasure I snorted like a pig down the phone and he put the phone down.  ;D

Sometimes people make me mad. But I have some lovely customers that make it worthwhile. So the good outweighs the bad mostly. Some people think I'm nuts but I think doing this for a few years sends anybody a bit barmy. Plus it's all part of my charm  :-*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 12 May 2017, 01:03:59 pm
Had a call wanting to book for later on this afternoon said he'd seen me on the internet (couldn't remember where) He enquired about a quickie I told him ?40 but said a quickie is either a BJ or HJ its NOT a GFE. I had spidery senses about him of being a possible TW but he still came across as OK on the phone but decided to tell him to phone nearer to the booking time for my postcode to see if he did. Low and behold at the end of our conversation twatty punter tries to haggle a tenner off my price (My back goes up as spidery senses are right about him as my price is already very reasonable and he's a prick) so I told him 'I don't see hagglers, don't phone back as I wont be seeing you''

Then the texts start...all within 10 minutes I get..
 
I wanna cum and see u babe x il have the half hr x

Dnt be like that babe x

Hey are you free x

Hi are u going to let me see u later x x

I don't care how quiet it is a haggling punter too stupid to understand haggling is offensive followed by his texts (calling me babe  :FF) just confirms I've dodged a boundary pushing bullet. Sometimes our spidery senses don't make sense when punters initially come across as ok on the phone but these punters eventually show their true colours.
Spidery senses 1 Twatty punter 0.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 12 May 2017, 01:36:58 pm
This was on Monday. I haven't been able to get on SAAFE properly this week as the hotel I was at blocks "adult" content  ::)

Phone rings
Me: Hello, <workname> speaking?
Him: Hello?
Me: Yes, hello.
Him: Errrrr... can I come tonight?
Me: No, I'm fully booked.
Him: Errr... even at 10 o'clock?
Me: I don't work that late.
Him: Errrr... what?
Me: I don't work that late.
Him: What time you work until?
Me: 8 o'clock.
Him: Can I come at 8 o'clock?
Me: Well it's 6 minutes past 8 now, so only if you have a time machine.
Him: ...
Me: Do you have a time machine?
Him: Yes
Me: Can I borrow it?
Him: Yes
Me: Can we go to 1678? I've always wanted to see the construction of the Palace of Versailles.
Him: Yes
Me: Brilliant, I'll meet you a week last Thursday at 7pm round the back of Morrisons, by the bins.
<hangs up>
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PassionFlower on 12 May 2017, 03:09:32 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 12 May 2017, 01:36:58 pm
This was on Monday. I haven't been able to get on SAAFE properly this week as the hotel I was at blocks "adult" content  ::)

Phone rings
Me: Hello, <workname> speaking?
Him: Hello?
Me: Yes, hello.
Him: Errrrr... can I come tonight?
Me: No, I'm fully booked.
Him: Errr... even at 10 o'clock?
Me: I don't work that late.
Him: Errrr... what?
Me: I don't work that late.
Him: What time you work until?
Me: 8 o'clock.
Him: Can I come at 8 o'clock?
Me: Well it's 6 minutes past 8 now, so only if you have a time machine.
Him: ...
Me: Do you have a time machine?
Him: Yes
Me: Can I borrow it?
Him: Yes
Me: Can we go to 1678? I've always wanted to see the construction of the Palace of Versailles.
Him: Yes
Me: Brilliant, I'll meet you a week last Thursday at 7pm round the back of Morrisons, by the bins.
<hangs up>
;D ;D ;D

I should know by now not to read your posts while drinking anything, I think tea came out of my nose!!!

x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TrashAzn on 13 May 2017, 02:26:08 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 12 May 2017, 01:36:58 pm
This was on Monday. I haven't been able to get on SAAFE properly this week as the hotel I was at blocks "adult" content  ::)

Phone rings
Me: Hello, <workname> speaking?
Him: Hello?
Me: Yes, hello.
Him: Errrrr... can I come tonight?
Me: No, I'm fully booked.
Him: Errr... even at 10 o'clock?
Me: I don't work that late.
Him: Errrr... what?
Me: I don't work that late.
Him: What time you work until?
Me: 8 o'clock.
Him: Can I come at 8 o'clock?
Me: Well it's 6 minutes past 8 now, so only if you have a time machine.
Him: ...
Me: Do you have a time machine?
Him: Yes
Me: Can I borrow it?
Him: Yes
Me: Can we go to 1678? I've always wanted to see the construction of the Palace of Versailles.
Him: Yes
Me: Brilliant, I'll meet you a week last Thursday at 7pm round the back of Morrisons, by the bins.
<hangs up>

Lol some guys seem to lose all ability to think logically when horny, all they can think of is "I'm horny and need relief right now" and believe you are a 24/7 cum repository that never closes or needs sleep.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 13 May 2017, 07:11:29 pm
I had someone call today and make a fuss when I told him to text and confirm an hour before his booking for my postcode (which is what I do with all new clients). He said he couldn't text then as he would be with his wife, so I tried to work around him, asking when he could text or that he could see me another day but he just kept saying 'but I will come, I've told you, why would I be ringing if I wasn't going to come, why can't you send it to me now'. I explained as I haven't met him yet that it's my procedure and I get everyone to do it to eliminate as many no shows as possible. He then told me 'you won't be making much money here then' despite me having one of the best days I've had in ages yesterday  ::)

I put the phone down and he then had the audacity to call again and ask if he could still see me. Told him I didn't see rude people and he kept insisting he's genuine.

I hate it when they think they can circumvent our methods and just do things their way!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady c on 13 May 2017, 10:26:23 pm
yesterday
do you have any slots available lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetmilf on 14 May 2017, 11:54:18 am
Quote from: Lucie268 on 13 May 2017, 07:11:29 pm
I put the phone down and he then had the audacity to call again and ask if he could still see me. Told him I didn't see rude people and he kept insisting he's genuine.

I hate it when they think they can circumvent our methods and just do things their way!

I have had a few like just that. TWs.  They just want your postcode and wanking over it.  His "online research" re. whereabouts of all the whores within 5 miles radius of wherever, is complete. His imaginary booking went ahead whilst wanking. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetmilf on 14 May 2017, 12:04:18 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 12 May 2017, 01:03:59 pm

I don't care how quiet it is a haggling punter too stupid to understand haggling is offensive followed by his texts (calling me babe  :FF) just confirms I've dodged a boundary pushing bullet. Sometimes our spidery senses don't make sense when punters initially come across as ok on the phone but these punters eventually show their true colours.

I have had issues/problems with "baby" "Hi, gorgeous" "hunni" these sorts of names, some of them I actually met, but later followed by the big or small problems.  I have read a few comments supporting this.   Does this sort of suggest his lack of "class-respect" (not necessarily as in the social class system)?  I often wondered.    ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 14 May 2017, 02:35:54 pm
I don't think it's anything to do with lack of respect as such.Some people do use pet names (in Yorkshire for example 'love' is a term of endearment that even some men use to other men in every day situations).
However men who use terms like babe,hun,darling tend to be the types who think it is like tinder and they often do it in a condescending way like we are bimbos.
It shows lack of uderstanding on their part that they are setting up a paid meet rather than chatting up some silly young thing on a dating site.
It smacks to me of 'trying too hard' to butter us up and it works against them for me as it comes across as too familiar from a client I haven't even met yet.
They need to realise that 'Hello Bibi,Could I come to see you on Wednesday for an hour at 2pm' is more reassuring in terms of what I think about them,whereas 'Hey babe,you available sexy?' makes me not take them seriously.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetmilf on 14 May 2017, 04:44:10 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 14 May 2017, 02:35:54 pm

However men who use terms like babe,hun,darling tend to be the types who think it is like tinder and they often do it in a condescending way like we are bimbos.
It shows lack of uderstanding on their part that they are setting up a paid meet rather than chatting up some silly young thing on a dating site.
It smacks to me of 'trying too hard' to butter us up and it works against them for me as it comes across as too familiar from a client I haven't even met yet.
They need to realise that 'Hello Bibi,Could I come to see you on Wednesday for an hour at 2pm' is more reassuring in terms of what I think about them,whereas 'Hey babe,you available sexy?' makes me not take them seriously.

Thank you, Bibi.  The postman, supermarket checkout, etc. "love" is quite normal and it's often used in civvie life and it's friendly and pleasant.  Didn't know men would use it to each other, though in Yorkshire.  ;D  I wouldn't take "sexy" seriously anymore after being bitten by these "type" of men.  There are loads of truths in what you say.  Sadly, it's easier to avoid men these days, who use these oxymoronic terms when speaking to us.   I once told one man "I'm a mature, middle-aged woman, I prefer you stop calling me "gorgeous" or "sexy". I felt insulted.  This one is since blocked, not interested in throwing a bone for free or for less.   :-\ 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 14 May 2017, 07:40:50 pm
Quote from: sweetmilf on 14 May 2017, 04:44:10 pm
oxymoronic terms

FYI, an oxymoron is a phrase which contradicts itself.
"heavy as a feather, light as lead" [shakespeare reference for the nerdy win]
"submissive domination"
"rainy sunshine"
"compassionate conservatism"
showing my age here :D

The "BB" "hun" guys are just plain old morons!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 16 May 2017, 10:00:46 am
Deffo silly season..in less than 15 mins I have had 2 emails on AW one asking for a bj for 20 and the other from a bloke with all negative feedback asking for an overnight outcall for his wife (I neither do outcalls or overnights and wouldn't even do a 15 min quickie with a guy with such shit feedback!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 16 May 2017, 11:49:02 am
And now 2 lots of 'Are you working today's?'  but then no reply when I say yes and someone texting wondering if I would be interested in them booking me..what is wrong with people?Can't anyone just be straight forward with their comms?Feels like the twilight zone so far and it's only 11:50am!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 16 May 2017, 12:17:01 pm
?60/30m/nowish?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 16 May 2017, 08:35:38 pm
So I get this text today. I know it's shocking but this is what it said. Terrible grammar and all.




 Wud u love&enjoy wen u cum2me&I open my door2u u push ur way in past me with force&make me lock us in then u force me2da floor&grab hold of both my legs&start2drag across da floor2da other side of da room as u say2me ur coming with me my piece of white meat so I can hold u down with my strong muscular legs as I force u2suck&lick my pussy till u make me cum then i'll grab ur legs roll u over from ur back on 2ur belly&pull ur legs back2wards ur head then u forcibly take me up stairs2da bedroom push me on2da bed as u get undressed dats wen I will go along da landing dats wen u cum after me force me2da floor&grab hold of both my legs&start2drag me off2da bedroom again as u say2me ur coming with me my piece of white meat so stop trying2get away cos u can't ok my white piece of meat. Then u tie my hands up securely2da bed&force me2lick&suck ur pussy. Then u grab hold hold of my legs1@a time&pull them down tightly&tie them up securely so I can't move then u suck&drain my hard cock dry of all its hot creamy cum&then u tell me I'm not letting u go cos I'm going2love&enjoy eating u up alive ok my white piece of meat ur mine now4ever ok my white piece of meat. Hope u like this idea. As I'll b at ur mercy all the way through the session.XX??

White type of absolute idiot thinks of this and what sort of absolute idiot writes like this? I though I had seen it all but Jesus Christ.

And he was surprised when I told him I did not want to see him.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 16 May 2017, 08:42:05 pm
Quote from: MeganCarterMay on 16 May 2017, 08:35:38 pm
So I get this text today. I know it's shocking but this is what it said. Terrible grammar and all.




 Wud u love&enjoy wen u cum2me&I open my door2u u push ur way in past me with force&make me lock us in then u force me2da floor&grab hold of both my legs&start2drag across da floor2da other side of da room as u say2me ur coming with me my piece of white meat so I can hold u down with my strong muscular legs as I force u2suck&lick my pussy till u make me cum then i'll grab ur legs roll u over from ur back on 2ur belly&pull ur legs back2wards ur head then u forcibly take me up stairs2da bedroom push me on2da bed as u get undressed dats wen I will go along da landing dats wen u cum after me force me2da floor&grab hold of both my legs&start2drag me off2da bedroom again as u say2me ur coming with me my piece of white meat so stop trying2get away cos u can't ok my white piece of meat. Then u tie my hands up securely2da bed&force me2lick&suck ur pussy. Then u grab hold hold of my legs1@a time&pull them down tightly&tie them up securely so I can't move then u suck&drain my hard cock dry of all its hot creamy cum&then u tell me I'm not letting u go cos I'm going2love&enjoy eating u up alive ok my white piece of meat ur mine now4ever ok my white piece of meat. Hope u like this idea. As I'll b at ur mercy all the way through the session.XX??

White type of absolute idiot thinks of this and what sort of absolute idiot writes like this? I though I had seen it all but Jesus Christ.

And he was surprised when I told him I did not want to see him.
Am I the only one who finds it impossible to read this to the end and cant make head nor tail of what he is saying?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 16 May 2017, 09:37:54 pm
I couldn't understand it barely. I had another yesterday telling me he had a problem down below called an over active growth spurt issue. I told him I didn't care what the size of his penis was as long as it didn't resemble a horses and I did not care as long as he paid the hourly rate. No reply. And got a lovely picture of how big it looks in his trousers with his face blurred out. When his WhatsApp picture was actually a picture of him. Some people must think we are stupid. I am more baffled at the guy who sent me the horrendously worded giant error of a message being shocked that I refused to see him. My life is numerous.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 17 May 2017, 07:37:46 am
A guy who has emailed me at 130 am in the middle of the night what is going on in their minds to think I am sat at my laptop at that hour?  Asking 'Are you available'.

Must have been drunk/high.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PassionFlower on 17 May 2017, 07:46:52 am
Quote from: Lushblossom on 17 May 2017, 07:37:46 am
A guy who has emailed me at 130 am in the middle of the night what is going on in their minds to think I am sat at my laptop at that hour?  Asking 'Are you available'.

Must have been drunk/high.

I get this a lot when I press book Available Today on AW

If you block book it goes on at midnight so the late night guys think you are literally available right then lol

X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 17 May 2017, 03:17:31 pm
A client phones up and asks me is my hair the same as in the photos. I said yes it is but next week I change the colour of. He then said can you take them out as he likes natural hair. I then politely said sure there are other escorts with natural hair. Ok Thank you Bye.

I had my hair natural for 4 years, clients don't choose my hair.  If they are not happy then move on its simple don't try to change me.

It is enough giving my body up but no they want more. Okay I accept uniform requests that is as far as thier dictation goes.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 17 May 2017, 04:45:58 pm
Quote from: meetingdiversity on 17 May 2017, 03:17:31 pm
A client phones up and asks me is my hair the same as in the photos. I said yes it is but next week I change the colour of. He then said can you take them out as he likes natural hair. I then politely said sure there are other escorts with natural hair. Ok Thank you Bye.

I had my hair natural for 4 years, clients don't choose my hair.  If they are not happy then move on its simple don't try to change me.

It is enough giving my body up but no they want more. Okay I accept uniform requests that is as far as thier dictation goes.
Twice now I have prospective clients request that I grow my pubic hair.Totally ridiculous request!I make clear I don't even do dressing requests so as if I am going to grow my muff hair for one client who likes the retro look!
I decide on how I have my pubes not some random idiot bloke a week before he comes to see me.If they like the hirsuite look then they can search for providers that advertise as 'natural' there are a fair few out there!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 17 May 2017, 07:06:20 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 17 May 2017, 04:45:58 pm
Twice now I have prospective clients request that I grow my pubic hair.Totally ridiculous request!I make clear I don't even do dressing requests so as if I am going to grow my muff hair for one client who likes the retro look!
I decide on how I have my pubes not some random idiot bloke a week before he comes to see me.If they like the hirsuite look then they can search for providers that advertise as 'natural' there are a fair few out there!

I get the opposite, clients asking me to shave or if they can shave it for me! If they want bare or trimmed I am sure there are hundreds of girls who can provide that.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 17 May 2017, 07:46:16 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 17 May 2017, 07:06:20 pm
I get the opposite, clients asking me to shave or if they can shave it for me! If they want bare or trimmed I am sure there are hundreds of girls who can provide that.  ::)
I get this as well.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 17 May 2017, 08:46:44 pm
An idiot called me today asking for a booking and also could he buy some dirty cum stained nickers off me as he's "going on holiday tomorrow and wanted to wank on them whilst there" I politely declined telling him I don't own such a pair although I did offer to wee on some for an extra ?20 which he declined haha ...Fuck me I could think of loads of better things to do whilst on holiday!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Worried93 on 18 May 2017, 06:37:08 pm
"I have ?40 for you if your available right now."

Sure let me drop whatever the fuck I'm doing rush to get ready all for a price that's below anything I offer.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 18 May 2017, 06:58:12 pm
Someone trying to book for tomorrow actually askes if we would be having sex in a booking..as opposed to what play kerplunk?!?I asked him if he had read my advert and he said yes..so not really any reason to be confused that I am a prostitute and he is paying for a shag..he then 'suddenly' noticed that I don't see under 25's and of course I cancelled.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 18 May 2017, 11:13:35 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 18 May 2017, 06:58:12 pm
Someone trying to book for tomorrow actually askes if we would be having sex in a booking..as opposed to what play kerplunk?!?I asked him if he had read my advert and he said yes..so not really any reason to be confused that I am a prostitute and he is paying for a shag..he then 'suddenly' noticed that I don't see under 25's and of course I cancelled.

I loved Kerplunk! Imagine if someone did want to play that during a booking  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 18 May 2017, 11:50:46 pm
Someone asked me today if he could buy the contents of my workroom and bathroom sanitary bins from Me weekly...   :-X what would he do with those things ewwww
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 19 May 2017, 11:04:00 am
Is it just me or are all the virgins coming out of the woodwork?I must have had 3 emails this week alone from supposed virgins wanting a booking.They all seem to have fetishes and very high expectations for their first ever time with a woman let alone their first ever time with an escort...all have fetishes and want x,y and z to happen in their booking.Turned all but one down and to be honest I'm not 100% about him.
I really don't like meeting with 90% of these virgins as they seem to want to ask 20 bloody silly questions leading up to the booking process such as 'Shall I bring toys?'..hmmm yeah it's your first time and you not only think you will be using toys but you are going to bring some?!? and want long bookings that you know will be usually pretty awkward for whatever reason,they always seem to want the moon on the stick during the booking process and then generally sit there terrified and don't even know what half the things they were after even are or if they actually will like it in practice or they loay there like a sack of spuds expecting you to do everything.
 I've taken a few cherries in my working life and the ones that just want to have a normal gfe for an hour are fine,it's the ones that have wanked off to to much porn that are hard work or the ones that think it will be all romantic but in practice of course it isn't because I'm not their actual girlfriend.Does anyone else get these?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 19 May 2017, 11:31:25 am
Guy phoned from a foreign number last night asking if I would do an outcall to Uruguay he said he would pay me via Western Union I told him I don't do outcalls I eventually had to turn the ringer off my phone as he was a persistent little bugger.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 19 May 2017, 11:57:06 am
An outcall to Uruguay  ::)  So no wgs in that part of the world then?  I sometimes wonder if any women with sense actually say yes to these bookings (which don't exist of course!!!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: London Mature on 19 May 2017, 01:30:33 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 16 May 2017, 08:42:05 pm
Am I the only one who finds it impossible to read this to the end and cant make head nor tail of what he is saying?

Nope that would be me as well, squinting even with my glasses on!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: London Mature on 19 May 2017, 01:41:17 pm
I presume this chap contacted quite a few of us subs,

I liked the way you came across on your profile, and physically, you're very much my type. I also have quite the penchant for older submissive women. Currently, I'm looking for a sub whose company I enjoy, whom I can make use of on an ongoing basis, and who appreciates the company of a younger dominant man that takes control, knows what he wants, and who gets off on putting women firmly in their place.
Physically, I'm 41yrs old, 6ft tall, have dark hair/eyes, a stocky build, and am strong, hairy, and masculine. I noticed that we share a good number of fetishes, so seeing as you've caught my interest, it'd be good to hear back from you. And I'd much rather get to know you better over a drink than over a keyboard, so if that appeals, then all the better
Finally, I'm not a punter, so meeting up would be strictly on a no-fees basis both ways. I want someone for personal use as opposed to client based, so with that said, if I catch your interest, get back to me.

Advised him to look at fetlife if he wants a freebie. Also that I have a Dom in my personal life and am collared / owned. He took that to mean that I wasn't 'allowed' to 'service' other Dom's. Advised him as to what he thought I was doing on AW, if indeed I didn't service others along with of course charging them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 20 May 2017, 11:16:16 am
After a few days off I turn my phone on just to see a few messages. Among them:

Message 1)
Ready to fuck

Message 2)
Stunning
And fit and fuck

Message 3)
Outcall Radisson Parking lot?
Quickie extra for bareback

I haven't decided yet. Decisions decisions  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Etoile on 20 May 2017, 02:32:12 pm
Just now:

Him: Where you at?

Me: I definitely won't tell you where I am at, as I don't see any sign of politeness in your text. Have a good day though.

Him: What a joke
You expect me to write an essay! Your delusional!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 20 May 2017, 03:21:40 pm
Quote from: Miss Etoile on 20 May 2017, 02:32:12 pm
Just now:

Him: Where you at?

Me: I definitely won't tell you where I am at, as I don't see any sign of politeness in your text. Have a good day though.

Him: What a joke
You expect me to write an essay! Your delusional!

Please tell me you replied "*You're"  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 20 May 2017, 03:22:30 pm
Last week I got "any appts today?"

I replied "yes thanks I had a few good ones"

Sense of humour transplant needed because he came back with "wot you saying?  want to see you in harf hour"

If he had spelled half correctly I may have met the man, but I declined.

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Etoile on 20 May 2017, 03:57:42 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 20 May 2017, 03:21:40 pm
Please tell me you replied "*You're"  :D

I didn't reply as I could guess the following texts from him would be more rude...  ::)

I am glad his mask fell down and for not meeting him!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nonyer on 22 May 2017, 12:37:48 pm
Phone call in a really creepy voice which I can only assume is his failed attempt at sounding sexy: "are you free?"

Me having had a particularly good day and now finished till my next tour: "no darling I am apparently quite expensive"

Having been in this lark for nearly 10 years it was the basic creepiness factor that was worse than the surly content more than anything, which was off-putting.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 23 May 2017, 09:41:12 am
Most pointless phonecall I've had in a while.
'Hi I know you are based in Leeds usually but you don't happen to be in London today do you?' ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 23 May 2017, 04:38:18 pm
Drug guy is doing the rounds lol.

Apparently some of my clients might enjoy using so I should provide stuff lol. Ummm yes and Jimmy there might enjoy killing but I'm not providing him with a victim.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 23 May 2017, 04:51:45 pm
"Are you up for a fucking hard shag?"

That was his second sentence, after asking if I was ok.................my adverts are all very soft, do no contact me if you are looking for a hard shag or PSE etc.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 23 May 2017, 05:54:50 pm
The mind boggles!
Guy ringing asking if I will see him all day (no if I don't offer overnights and my rates only go up to 2 hours then obviously not,plus we haven't met before!)
Oh right he says,so will it be with the big girl in the pictures?
You are speaking with the big girl in the pictures..who did you think you would be speaking to?!?
Apparently most of us don't answer the phones ourselves according to him.. :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetmilf on 23 May 2017, 06:49:28 pm
I got this today, I deleted, instantly.  Such a piece of pointless garbage.

Title: Hey

X Are you avail.today?X  on a date when everyone else knows I'm not available. 







Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 24 May 2017, 12:11:43 am
All of my adverts state on the first line where I'm working from, be it a hotel or apartment. My current ads state "Private house with free parking, XX postcode"

Him: We're abouts [postcode] are u
Me: [area]
Him: Is it house
Me: No it's a cow shed. You need to step over the manure pile.
Him: Is this [work name]
Him: Is this a joke???

No shit Sherlock  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 24 May 2017, 09:57:59 pm
I got these 3 texts the other day...

Ok 50 1hors put me lick ass you good and pussy come now If you want in a hour come to you and lick you in the pussy you want with 1hors

No fuck pussy honey just put me lick

Am boy clyn 34 years love lick pussy ok put me ❤❤❤

Don't you just love it when a grown man refers to himself as a boy, uses unintelligible language and quotes his own rate for a booking!!! Wow.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 25 May 2017, 10:56:36 am
don't you just love it when a client who you have seen before,contacts you with the same introductory spiel he used when he first met you?He clearly didn't remember ever having seen me before and even said that experiencing xy and z for the first time would be amazing..you mean the same x y and z we did last time I saw you?They then backtrack and say of course they remember it's just they can't remember if I did actually squirt for them!Probably not as this bloke came in about 2 mins when i saw him and didn't do anything to me! ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 25 May 2017, 03:16:47 pm
He makes a booking via txt then once on my street he tells me he can't phone me because his phone don't work. He know proclaims to be deaf not taking the risk any one can text.

Funny how he tells me now and no deaf ones materialise with me in 5 years. Like those who brag about thier penis size.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 25 May 2017, 03:35:50 pm
Text received today

Hello Greetings my name is Chris I am 42 years of  I have seen your advertisement and would be interested in meeting you, however it mentions no prices. I am looking to meet for an hr or an hr and a half i have never done this before but if we like each other it would be a long term arrangement would between 60 and 70 pounds be enough for that sort of thing please excuse my ignorance look forward to hearing from you in due course.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sexymilf on 25 May 2017, 03:54:51 pm
Call today

Can i call you darling
Me:  u can call me what you like
Him can i be your bf
Me what
Him can i be ur bf.
Me no bye

Are these ppl real. He was an older well spoken guy in his 50s i wld say not a youngster!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 26 May 2017, 12:24:01 pm
When you have got a client begging to accept his lowest offer. Yawning ignoring with the constant textes plus he drives here knowing of this. Some guy who paid the full price before.  He did this tactic yesterday and again today if he keeps this stalking up I call the police.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 26 May 2017, 06:17:35 pm
I get a text today. Fucking bitch. That's all it said.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JustAnotherHooker on 26 May 2017, 07:07:44 pm
Quote from: MeganCarterMay on 26 May 2017, 06:17:35 pm
I get a text today. Fucking bitch. That's all it said.

I would have said"you ain't fucking this particular bitch"!! Cheeky cunt.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 27 May 2017, 08:17:23 am
Quote from: London Mature on 19 May 2017, 01:41:17 pm
I presume this chap contacted quite a few of us subs,

I liked the way you came across on your profile, and physically, you're very much my type. I also have quite the penchant for older submissive women. Currently, I'm looking for a sub whose company I enjoy, whom I can make use of on an ongoing basis, and who appreciates the company of a younger dominant man that takes control, knows what he wants, and who gets off on putting women firmly in their place.
Physically, I'm 41yrs old, 6ft tall, have dark hair/eyes, a stocky build, and am strong, hairy, and masculine. I noticed that we share a good number of fetishes, so seeing as you've caught my interest, it'd be good to hear back from you. And I'd much rather get to know you better over a drink than over a keyboard, so if that appeals, then all the better
Finally, I'm not a punter, so meeting up would be strictly on a no-fees basis both ways. I want someone for personal use as opposed to client based, so with that said, if I catch your interest, get back to me.

Advised him to look at fetlife if he wants a freebie. Also that I have a Dom in my personal life and am collared / owned. He took that to mean that I wasn't 'allowed' to 'service' other Dom's. Advised him as to what he thought I was doing on AW, if indeed I didn't service others along with of course charging them.

A friend of mine got this too! She doesn't even advertise as a sub!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 27 May 2017, 03:29:22 pm
I just blocked his number and sent it to all of my friends so they could do exactly the same. Because I'm such a fucking bitch  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NikitaS on 28 May 2017, 04:48:34 pm
A guy once asked me to accompany him out for dinner with a remote controlled dildo inserted that he could operate at will. I was making faces but manage it all the way through the main course. But then I spilled my tiramisu on my dress.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 28 May 2017, 06:57:03 pm
Via text:

Hi, I'm S**** from ******** living in ****** I've been in the national news for being stabbed, so I'd like to meet with you to have some fun. I need to be very discreet. Thanks x

WTF?  ???

So, being assaulted makes him a celebrity now?

I think someone is having a joke  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 28 May 2017, 10:03:23 pm
Quote from: Gypsy on 28 May 2017, 06:57:03 pm
Via text:

Hi, I'm S**** from ******** living in ****** I've been in the national news for being stabbed, so I'd like to meet with you to have some fun. I need to be very discreet. Thanks x

WTF?  ???

So, being assaulted makes him a celebrity now?

I think someone is having a joke  ::)
He needs to be very discrete so he points out he was in the news..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LingLing on 29 May 2017, 07:08:09 am
Quote from: NikitaS on 28 May 2017, 04:48:34 pm
A guy once asked me to accompany him out for dinner with a remote controlled dildo inserted that he could operate at will. I was making faces but manage it all the way through the main course. But then I spilled my tiramisu on my dress.

LOOOOOOL, you just made my day!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 29 May 2017, 03:01:56 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 28 May 2017, 10:03:23 pm
He needs to be very discrete so he points out he was in the news..

Ha! Exactly  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PassionFlower on 30 May 2017, 01:46:42 pm
Got these from a Reg I've cut contact with as he's started taking the piss about time keeping and the way he speaks to me "I'm not going to kiss you, I don't know where you've been" for example.

Client @ 11.29:
Quote
hi jess...just wondered if you are available today or not . your page is a bit confusing if you are or not ..

george

Me @ 11.44:
Quote
Heya hun

Thanks for your message!

Yes I'm working today, my full availability is on my profile, just look for the time you would like and if it does not say BOOKED then I am available at that time

Just pop in a booking request for the time that's best for you and I'll send you my location and contact details

See you soon!

xxx

Client @ 12.00:
Quote
hi jess..
this is actually steve here . i have tried ringing and texting you as well as messaging and placing a bookin with you .. all get blocked or instantly deleted . i have seen you quite a few times and we seemed to get on great . have i done something to upset you that has caused you to block me . if you want me blocked then of course that is up to you. i just cant think of the reason . whatever it is could you give ne a chance to rectify it ..

Client @ 12.32:
Quote
   
hi...i really enjoyed seeing you and i thought we had got on well . you may or may not remember me ? bald head .. leg tattoo.
anyways ... i really cant think as to what i have done and i have been trying to contact you for about three weeks ... i text you straight out of our last meeting and i have never heard back anything and now blocked on here and on phone ...

Client @ 12.56:
Quote
   
   
hi jess ...as you have read but not replied ...i assume that you wont.
it will have to be a mystery as to what suddenly made you block me , genuinly have no idea

i understand if you dont want to speak for whatever your reason. it would have been nice to know what i have done to cause this but i suppose i will never know . i could have booked as someone else but i would rather have chatted first..

thanks anyways ...

steve x

Me @ 13.02:
Quote
   
Hi Steve,

I'm glad you have enjoyed seeing me, but I won't be taking any further bookings with you.

I don't normally justify why when I blacklist a client but as you know I'm screening your calls and messages but persist in contacting me anyway, I will tell you why. It's taken me so long to reply as I was waiting for a friend's in put as to if I was being too harsh by telling you the truth but as you have continued to ask:

I don't enjoy seeing you, I don't like the way you speak to me or your sense of humour. No other client makes me feel as cheap as you manage to without even trying. I genuinely enjoy my work so anyone who makes me feel negatively about it is not welcome as a client. As I don't believe you're doing it intentionally I have seen you on several occasions to see if we do click, but sadly this hasn't happened so I'm no longer prepared to see you.

I wish you luck in finding another girl to see regularly and hope you find your personalities more suited.

Take care

Client @ 13.16:
Quote
   
   
   
hi...that has genuinly suprised me ...i have never been negative to you and wonder if you have gotten me mixed up. i have been nothing but nice to you .

i think i am a nice bloke but you obviosly dont . i am sorry you feel that way but honestly i dont know why and i do wonder if you have me mixed with someone else...


that has made me quite upset that you feel that way ....

So hang on a sec!

He's a complete tosser to me, above and beyond the normal levels of tosserishness we get from guys, I make it clear by rejecting his calls and messages that I want no contact so he creates a false alias to engage in conversation with me, showing 0 respect for my wishes and then has the nerve to say I've hurt his feelings by telling the truth he's so desperate to hear???

Why the fuck would you pester someone with the above messages plus 44 blocked calls if you don't want to hear what they have to say? 

x

Edited to add

Client @ 14.17
Quote
hi can you give me at least one example of what i have done whi h is so wrong ... i dont mean to keep bothering you but i am genuinly upset that you think i am so horrible .

i will leave you alone after this ...i apologise

thanks steve
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 30 May 2017, 03:16:04 pm
Is this guy a fireman by any chance? Also what area is this as I think it may be a guy I've had to block also? For acting exactly the same x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PassionFlower on 30 May 2017, 04:10:21 pm
He could well be, he's certainly got the build for it

I'm based in Northumberland

x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 30 May 2017, 04:20:55 pm
@Jessi Black

My first ever client was like this. I saw him twice, one outcall and one incall and then after that decided I didn't want to see him anymore.

First, he was incredibly nosey. Wanted to know everything about me. So much so I thought he was going to raid my bins or something. Then he was passive aggressive, complaining I hadn't written a review for him like I had done for clients I had met via AW. He booked me through another site. I explained this to him.

Now 18 months later, he emails me again to say he would really like to see me and he hopes I change my mind about seeing him. I told him at the time I didn't think our personalities were suited rather than tell him the blantant truth for fear of making him want revenge etc.

It's men like this who I will NEVER SEE AGAIN if they can't take no for an answer. They haven't got one brain cell IMO  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetmilf on 31 May 2017, 12:39:18 pm
I had someone similar this week.  I refused to meet as he deliberately tried to be unpleasant with sarcasm in his message, which I pointed out to him.   I don't put up with this sort of demeaning attitude towards escorts.   He kept messaging.  I gave him a warning in the end.  Unless he stops sending me these unpleasant messages with negativity towards "escorts" generally, I will go to the Police.   I actually meant it, no one needs to put up with that.   I have got his phone number, he's easily traceable if you went to the Police.  Some of these men think they are hiding behind the computer screen safely and anonymously.   That's why they do it.   
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 05 June 2017, 08:28:15 pm
Email:
"I'm looking for someone to fill a hole in my life. I live near xxx and would be looking for irregular mid week day time liaisons.
I'm a little shy so location would preferably be discrete.
Please let me know if that works for you."

Well he wont be filling any of my holes any time soon but at least he's honest.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 05 June 2017, 10:48:12 pm
Why do they persist on wanting to see you when they've been ignored/blocked. In my opinion, a client does not need explaining to as to why he is blocked nor should he message to express his feelings or ask why he is blocked. Just find yourself another prositute to fuck.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LuluLoves on 06 June 2017, 10:29:40 am
Quote from: Malia on 05 June 2017, 10:48:12 pm
Why do they persist on wanting to see you when they've been ignored/blocked. In my opinion, a client does not need explaining to as to why he is blocked nor should he message to express his feelings or ask why he is blocked. Just find yourself another prositute to fuck.

+1 to this! Some of them even go to the trouble of picking up a new sim card so they can get around your block - what the hell? Surely if you tried hard enough you could find another working girl in this county pal  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 06 June 2017, 01:27:03 pm
Got a text today

Hi so sorry to tx (1. I don't accept texts re a booking) I'm looking for a booking on the 10th or 11th as a surprise treat for my wife she's always wanted to see me with another woman (fantasist) and you look fantastic she would watch then join in as she's bi can you please let me know if you are available and interested in a booking it would be an overnight (2. I don't do overnights) outcall (3. I don't do outcalls) . I no you're straight (4. Yes I am and I don't offer 3somes) but I'm sure you would enjoy no pressure but just slow fun thanks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 06 June 2017, 01:33:48 pm
Been a real doozey of a week for knobheads contacting me but today's gem.
'Hi are you a bbw by any chance?'
'Well I advertise as a size 18 bbw so yes there's a good chance..'
'Ok well I've never shagged anyone would you do it?'
'No'
'Why not?'
'Have a think about how you have just spoken to me and then ask why I probably won't be seeing you..'
WTF is wrong with people? :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 07 June 2017, 04:14:51 pm
"I notice you dont do CIM but im a wealthy fit 25 year old white guy with fantastic hygiene and i like exploring limits.

How much to swallow my cum?

Everyone has a price, name it"

I was tempted to reply and inform him that not everyone has a price if they don't like something but decided just to immediately delete.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheilaStar on 07 June 2017, 04:19:47 pm
Quote from: Red KB on 07 June 2017, 04:14:51 pm
"I notice you dont do CIM but im a wealthy fit 25 year old white guy with fantastic hygiene and i like exploring limits.

How much to swallow my cum?

It sounds like he was asking you to pay him so that you can swallow his precious cum lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 10 June 2017, 06:56:38 am
Hey Hun ( ooops bad start ) I'd like to book four hours , maybe extend to overnight ????
Me: sorry I dictate who I see and for how long , not you !
Blocked , this is rare but sounded dodge !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: losthope on 10 June 2017, 07:49:08 am
I had one yesterday saying he does a special massage and only the WGs get it free, I quickly said do you want to boook ? I dont want a massage and you will be paying me , his reply was oh yes I will bring with me a bottle of JD for you, like wtaf goes through their heads ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 13 June 2017, 11:31:34 pm
Got this drivel tonight:

'Hello MTH,


I am visiting your area from the 25th to the 28th of June. I shall be staying at a really nice hotel in Telford.

I hope you may be able to join me and hopefully on more than one day whilst I am there.


I would describe myself as; Happy, fun loving and happy to make others happy.


I will light candles for you. You and I will burn the candles at both ends, our candles will burn faster but our light will shine all the more brighter.

I appreciate the company of a gentle and well spoken lady. A very very nice and sensual lady. An elegant lady who is soft and gentle and pleasant to spend a good evening in with good conversation, tactile and dedicated to giving and having a good time together.


A memorable evening akin to what young lovers who have just met on their first date in the bedroom.

I am sure you smart, elegant, sensual and sexy lady who enjoys the thrills that life is and will give as well as enjoy our time together. Let us try and meet and enjoy good times together.

My dates again are: 19th June to 20th June.

Looking forward to good times together.

Let me know if we can meet.

T. Xxx

Smile and be happy. Live life to the full'

My reply:

1. You didn't read a word of my profile.

2. There's nothing gentle or soft about me, I am a common-as-muck gobshite.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 14 June 2017, 08:53:26 am
Quote from: MrsTomHardy on 13 June 2017, 11:31:34 pm
Got this drivel tonight:

'Hello MTH,


I am visiting your area from the 25th to the 28th of June. I shall be staying at a really nice hotel in Telford.

I hope you may be able to join me and hopefully on more than one day whilst I am there.


I would describe myself as; Happy, fun loving and happy to make others happy.


I will light candles for you. You and I will burn the candles at both ends, our candles will burn faster but our light will shine all the more brighter.

I appreciate the company of a gentle and well spoken lady. A very very nice and sensual lady. An elegant lady who is soft and gentle and pleasant to spend a good evening in with good conversation, tactile and dedicated to giving and having a good time together.


A memorable evening akin to what young lovers who have just met on their first date in the bedroom.

I am sure you smart, elegant, sensual and sexy lady who enjoys the thrills that life is and will give as well as enjoy our time together. Let us try and meet and enjoy good times together.

My dates again are: 19th June to 20th June.

Looking forward to good times together.

Let me know if we can meet.

T. Xxx

Smile and be happy. Live life to the full'

My reply:

1. You didn't read a word of my profile.

2. There's nothing gentle or soft about me, I am a common-as-muck gobshite.

hahahahah ;D hilarious I did not read the entire email was long boring. You response loool
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 14 June 2017, 10:19:25 am
Those long long emails really are a big yawn aren't they!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nonyer on 14 June 2017, 02:09:31 pm
Mrs TH is my spirit animal!  ;D

I tend to respond with "Sorry I only see those who can be fucked to read my profile which clearly excludes you"

No love lost; genuine clients don't get in touch in such a fucking creepy way.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 14 June 2017, 02:13:54 pm
I received a text msg asking if I am a good ride how filthy this guy is with no manners at all. I am so glad that I am moving on in to a world full of respect.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 14 June 2017, 08:10:43 pm
Quote from: meetingdiversity on 14 June 2017, 02:13:54 pm
I received a text msg asking if I am a good ride how filthy this guy is with no manners at all. I am so glad that I am moving on in to a world full of respect.

Just lately I've had similar,  lots of rude ignorant texts and emails via adultwork.  "you about" "Do you swallow" "I want" blah blah blah... the latest 'craze' with unknown ones just starting a sentence demanding this that and the other without even referring to me by name I've never known there to be so many bad mannered men around  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 14 June 2017, 08:26:19 pm
So far this week's best offer, "you want to come now and name your price when you get here?"

Would any woman actually fall for this?   (I did not respond to his email, he probably sent it to lots of others and sat back waiting for those replies to pour in)  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 14 June 2017, 09:42:22 pm
I had one at the beginning of the week wanting to meet , I explained I wasn't at work until tomorrow he just kept saying why are you lying to me , I said I'm not .
 
Yes you are it says here clearly that you are available today , I began to think I'd made a mistake so I said have you read my profile ?

Him yep totally but your still lying and I don't know why ?( I'm perfectly capable of getting my dates wrong , that's the only reason I kept checking with him .

I said I don't lie I'm off and in my own home.

Him : no your not what are you still lying to me ???

Me: look I'm not at work after he'd named hotel not far from me ??

Me : ok what's my fee ? And to be honest I'd never stay in a shit hole like that 300 beds min , filled with pimps around 20 quid a night , it's pimp city with ( possibly trafficked ) very unhappy extremely low fee girls ( I'd be scared shitless if I stayed there ),

Him : oh sorry wrong person ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 14 June 2017, 10:12:04 pm
I had one prick asking me which brothel I worked in and named 3 that closed over 5 years ago.He then went on to inform me I'd need to give him my address if I wanted him round asap...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JustAnotherHooker on 15 June 2017, 02:23:40 am
Quote from: Guiltypleasure on 14 June 2017, 09:42:22 pm
I had one at the beginning of the week wanting to meet , I explained I wasn't at work until tomorrow he just kept saying why are you lying to me , I said I'm not .
 
Yes you are it says here clearly that you are available today , I began to think I'd made a mistake so I said have you read my profile ?

Him yep totally but your still lying and I don't know why ?( I'm perfectly capable of getting my dates wrong , that's the only reason I kept checking with him .

I said I don't lie I'm off and in my own home.

Him : no your not what are you still lying to me ???

Me: look I'm not at work after he'd named hotel not far from me ??

Me : ok what's my fee ? And to be honest I'd never stay in a shit hole like that 300 beds min , filled with pimps around 20 quid a night , it's pimp city with ( possibly trafficked ) very unhappy extremely low fee girls ( I'd be scared shitless if I stayed there ),

Him : oh sorry wrong person ???

Lol!! I think I would have hung up on him as soon as he asked, "why you lying to me"! Freak, I would expect my OH to say this, not a caller who hasn't even met me in person!

My god, your a better woman than me!!xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 15 June 2017, 06:47:44 am
Yes he couldn't pronounce name of hotel until the end but before that he said a few things that made it sound like me plus I really wanted to know f d put in the wrong dates as I was back to work after having a while off the following day , so I wanted , more, to know f I'd entered the wrong dates lol , but I grabbed my ipad and checked and said "no I'm not" and that's when he said your lying ??
He was v apologetic and nice enough.
initially when he called he said "you working " so I asked " are you" bog standard response, followed by"have you read my profile, because that's not how I do business" then he said I'm really sorry lol
so thought I better check I hadn't put my dates in tits up !
Ha Ha Ha there is someone in that area with a v similar name to me lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 15 June 2017, 08:58:29 am
Part of an email I received,

"I like to pay the cash before I even walk as it keeps
it all simple, so the first thing I will do is hand you an
Envelope with the cash if that's ok.

And due to my need for discretion (until I know the
Person better), would you mind if we kept
Communication to emails just for the moment?"

Know me better? How long does he think we're going to be exchanging emails!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 15 June 2017, 09:33:31 am
I foolishly put an ad on Viva this week and the parade of twats has been so bad that I resorted to putting that phone on an auto reply directing them to my website and then asking them to call my main number to book.

Him: Buna ce faci imi dai un poscod massaje sex
Me: Auto reply: Thank you for your interest. Please visit my website to see details of my pricing and services, and call back to book.
Him: Hello darling poscod massaje sex
Me: Auto reply: Thank you for your interest. Please visit my website to see details of my pricing and services, and call back to book.
Him: Poscod sex darling
Me: Auto reply: Thank you for your interest. Please visit my website to see details of my pricing and services, and call back to book.
Him: Sex?
Me: Auto reply: Thank you for your interest. Please visit my website to see details of my pricing and services, and call back to book.
 :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 15 June 2017, 11:44:31 am
Exactly the type of shite I get from Viva, too.

Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 15 June 2017, 09:33:31 am
I foolishly put an ad on Viva this week and the parade of twats has been so bad that I resorted to putting that phone on an auto reply directing them to my website and then asking them to call my main number to book.

Him: Buna ce faci imi dai un poscod massaje sex
Me: Auto reply: Thank you for your interest. Please visit my website to see details of my pricing and services, and call back to book.
Him: Hello darling poscod massaje sex
Me: Auto reply: Thank you for your interest. Please visit my website to see details of my pricing and services, and call back to book.
Him: Poscod sex darling
Me: Auto reply: Thank you for your interest. Please visit my website to see details of my pricing and services, and call back to book.
Him: Sex?
Me: Auto reply: Thank you for your interest. Please visit my website to see details of my pricing and services, and call back to book.
 :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 15 June 2017, 11:45:39 am
So fed up of stupid bloody questions this week!Today's little gem was 'are you easy to find?'
Well my ad tells you I am Leeds City centre based and even tells them 2 wellknown landmarks near by!
I don't know am I easy to find?!?Rather depends on if you have read the ad and know the area and how good you are at using a satnav/google maps/ a bloody map if and when you actually make an appointment and I give you my address details!If you are an idiot which I am starting to wonder then no I probably aren't going to be easy to find.. :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 15 June 2017, 11:48:39 am
Quote from: Red KB on 15 June 2017, 08:58:29 am
Part of an email I received,

"I like to pay the cash before I even walk as it keeps
it all simple, so the first thing I will do is hand you an
Envelope with the cash if that's ok.

And due to my need for discretion (until I know the
Person better), would you mind if we kept
Communication to emails just for the moment?"

Know me better? How long does he think we're going to be exchanging emails!
Really irritates me when they TELL YOU when they are going to pay...er goes without saying you will pay me as soon as you arrive. ..that's the way it works!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 15 June 2017, 05:28:16 pm
Twat (by text, just out of blue): See you 11pm luv
Me: Who is this please?
Twat: Can I see you luv
Me: Who is this please?
Twat: Can I book luv
Me: Who is this please?

I think I'll reply "who is this please?" to all twats this week.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 15 June 2017, 07:53:22 pm
You know what they will say next don't you Aqua - they will say 'It's John' and expect you to remember them lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 15 June 2017, 10:41:36 pm
Quote from: Lushblossom on 15 June 2017, 07:53:22 pm
You know what they will say next don't you Aqua - they will say 'It's John' and expect you to remember them lol.

Wait... the worst part is in the end the twat replied. His name was...ANDY!!! Andy types just hate my guts  :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 16 June 2017, 07:15:13 pm
For Gods sake thought I'd had ALL the emails until this:

Hi, I'm a bit new to this.

Do you often gag on sperm because I really worry about it happening?

From a guy who's 'new' but been on AW for over 9 months  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 17 June 2017, 07:44:39 pm
'What's ur address'


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 17 June 2017, 08:17:54 pm
"Hi you warking Watford? [no I'm not] Can I se u pless"

This was in response to my auto reply  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 18 June 2017, 09:02:30 am
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 17 June 2017, 08:17:54 pm
"Hi you warking Watford? [no I'm not] Can I se u pless"

This was in response to my auto reply  ::)

For a second I thought you wrote "barking"...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 18 June 2017, 11:56:24 am
Subject:    Escort

U take 18 he olds?

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 18 June 2017, 12:12:23 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 18 June 2017, 11:56:24 am
Subject:    Escort

U take 18 he olds?

 ::)

 :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 19 June 2017, 10:50:31 am
hi
I like picking someone up wearing as little as possible and being blown off while driving some where to park up for sex. would like to try being riden while driving are you game for any of these?

Ridden while driving.....deary me what planet are some men on, and the fact my profile says I don't offer car meets I'm not sure why he was bothering me on this nice day!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 21 June 2017, 01:40:12 pm
Twitter exchange:

Hi there
Are  you  available to  work?

Hi, have you read my profile on adultwork (linked on my twitter bio)?
I'm not available until midweek next week
 
Can we make a deal next  week

What do you mean, a deal?
A booking?

Yeah

Right, well read my profile and then get back to me when you have a date and time in mind

Ok sweet
Do you  have  any  number  ti booking

my number will be showing on the days that I am available, you can always prebook and then call on the day to confirm when my number will be showing

Do y tweet your  num

No, why not try following instructions?

Do have  any  idea how to  pay

what?

Payment details

what??? you pay in cash when you arrive. have you even read my profile? have you seen an escort before?
please stop wasting my time
 
My intern is limited to  reach  your  site
Because that  i asked  you

okay that's your problem not mine! i'm not going to spoon feed you the information. take care

Fuck  your  ass is allowed

what?????
 
When  we will   have  fun
Can I  fuck t ass
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JustAnotherHooker on 21 June 2017, 01:51:52 pm
A few weeks ago a guy located me on Facebook as we have mutual friends, he messaged me and said "oh where have I seen your face before" with 2 winky faces and I was fuming and sent him one back and said how dare he contact me on Facebook and then today he sends another message on Fb and apologises but I'm not going to see him, I hate when they know my real name and my Facebook is private private but if we have mutual friends then it couldn't be helped but I may delete my Facebook account again.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sexymilf on 21 June 2017, 02:40:26 pm
Quote from: JustAnotherHooker on 21 June 2017, 01:51:52 pm
A few weeks ago a guy located me on Facebook as we have mutual friends, he messaged me and said "oh where have I seen your face before" with 2 winky faces and I was fuming and sent him one back and said how dare he contact me on Facebook and then today he sends another message on Fb and apologises but I'm not going to see him, I hate when they know my real name and my Facebook is private private but if we have mutual friends then it couldn't be helped but I may delete my Facebook account again.

I do worry bout my fb. Like you its on private. I hardly have any face pics on it. Too scared of being recognised xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JustAnotherHooker on 21 June 2017, 02:54:42 pm
I may actually delete mines again, I use no same pics on fb and aw but still I was found, there's no way I'll see this guy but I'm thinking that because I don't know his voice or number then I should maybe message him back to say that I accept his apology so that he'll perhaps want a booking with me and then at least I'll have his number!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 22 June 2017, 01:04:50 pm
Him - how old r u (no hello how are you ...') I never usually reply to this drivel, but thought let's see ...

Me - 'hello , all my details are on my profile'

Him - 'replied straight away - so you are 22?' (Wtf ..)

Him - Address????

Me - 'no thanks - blocked '
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 22 June 2017, 10:51:17 pm
Quote from: GothGirl on 22 June 2017, 01:04:50 pm
Him - how old r u (no hello how are you ...') I never usually reply to this drivel, but thought let's see ...

Me - 'hello , all my details are on my profile'

Him - 'replied straight away - so you are 22?' (Wtf ..)

Him - Address????

Me - 'no thanks - blocked '

On nights like this where I am bored I would of sent him the address to a pizza place.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 23 June 2017, 09:54:56 am
This absolute troglodyte messaged me the same iklitsrTe and stupid message he has on three previous profiles

Wud u love&enjoy wen u cum2me&I open my door2u u push ur way in past me with force&make me lock us in then u force me2da floor&grab hold of both my legs&start2drag across da floor2da other side of da room as u say2me ur coming with me my piece of white meat so I can hold u down with my strong muscular legs as I force u2suck&lick my pussy till u make me cum then i'll grab ur legs roll u over from ur back on 2ur belly&pull ur legs back2wards ur head then u forcibly take me up stairs2da bedroom push me on2da bed as u get undressed dats wen I will go along da landing dats wen u cum after me force me2da floor&grab hold of both my legs&start2drag me off2da bedroom again as u say2me ur coming with me my piece of white meat so stop trying2get away cos u can't ok my white piece of meat. Then u tie my hands up securely2da bed&force me2lick&suck ur pussy. Then u grab hold hold of my legs1@a time&pull them down tightly&tie them up securely so I can't move then u suck&drain my hard cock dry of all its hot creamy cum&then u tell me I'm not letting u go cos I'm going2love&enjoy eating u up alive ok my white piece of meat ur mine now4ever ok my white piece of meat. Hope u like this idea. As I'll b at ur mercy all the way through the session.XX??


That was completely and entirely copy and pasted. Vile.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 23 June 2017, 09:59:02 am
I had exactly the same a while back Natural Beauty, he obviously sends it all the time and wants a reaction.  So I just ignored and blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mya888 on 24 June 2017, 01:35:46 pm
A guy asking for a 5min blowjob booking for 25 quid.  :FF
When I politely declined I got this:
"Oh, don't be like that, I can be a regular after today".
So I explained my prices, minimum half hour cost that much etc and his reply:
"Sweetheart Im 18 and single, work at mcdonald's, won't even last five minutes with u".
Well goodbye then it was from me only to get another message an hour later.
"Let me know if you change your mind"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hippydippy on 24 June 2017, 06:36:26 pm
Quote from: Mya888 on 24 June 2017, 01:35:46 pm
A guy asking for a 5min blowjob booking for 25 quid.  :FF
When I politely declined I got this:
"Oh, don't be like that, I can be a regular after today".
So I explained my prices, minimum half hour cost that much etc and his reply:
"Sweetheart Im 18 and single, work at mcdonald's, won't even last five minutes with u".
Well goodbye then it was from me only to get another message an hour later.
"Let me know if you change your mind"
:FF  :FF  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 24 June 2017, 09:17:51 pm
Just received this charming text ...

'CAN U PROPER FUK'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Leilaa on 24 June 2017, 10:13:05 pm
I had a gem today..

Caller: Hi Leila I'm interested in your services and in exchange I can be your slave and drive you to anywhere you want..
Me: No sorry I don't need a driver and I charge for my services..
Caller: but I can be your driv........
Me: No I charge for my services and I drive myself.
Caller: but I can be ur Drrrr....
Me:did you not here a word I said?
Caller: but I can't afford your fee.
Me: well stop bloody calling then!
Block.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 26 June 2017, 12:08:58 pm
Got a text this morning from a number previously saved as TW.

Hi, would love to see you but need to ask several questions first as there are so many fake profiles on Vivastreet.

Response: You need to phone me to ask questions and you have contacted me before as I have your number saved.

Him: Oh, God, that was a long time ago and you never responded then. I will call you shortly.

Needless to say I am still waiting for his call. That text really irritated me for some reason. Yeah, there might be fake profiles, but I think it's safe to say there are a LOT of fake men out there too like this first class prick. I would have responded the first time he text me but these idiots think we are brainless just like them. What he really wants to say is he thinks I am fake like him etc, but he hasn't got the guts to do it. Pityful  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 26 June 2017, 12:47:51 pm
Sounds a bit like the jokers who text and you tell them you aren't working for four days or something and then they ask you to text them when you are available - we don't chase them it is supposed to be the other way round!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 26 June 2017, 01:07:31 pm
Quote from: Lushblossom on 26 June 2017, 12:47:51 pm
Sounds a bit like the jokers who text and you tell them you aren't working for four days or something and then they ask you to text them when you are available - we don't chase them it is supposed to be the other way round!

Actually, what you say reminds me of a client who turned into twat. He would always go on and say that if I should text him and say I'm working it is such a turn on. He expected me to text him to see if HE was available! The few times I did it, not cos I really wanted to see him, but because it was quiet, he'd arrange a booking and then cancel. I soon stopped contact after that! Prick!

For him it was an ego boost. He wasn't confident, very overweight and came across as insecure whereas I'm a professional and I do not work like that  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 26 June 2017, 03:18:47 pm
Him:Hi is that Terry?
Me:No I think you have the wrong number
Him:Oh well I saw your ad online..
Me:No you didn't,because I'm not called Terry.
Him:Puts phone down!
Like I'm going to have a conversation about presumably some other sex workers advert!Best case scenario is got my number mixed up with another ad..divvy!! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 27 June 2017, 04:03:50 pm
What is this, take the PISS week? Just now got a text from someone I'd never heard from before just saying:

?50 for an hour?

Try putting a 1 before that  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red KB on 28 June 2017, 12:09:13 pm
It's amazing how many guys manage to grab your phone number before losing their internet connection and not be able to read your details...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mya888 on 28 June 2017, 02:19:52 pm
Laughing so much right now.
Received two text messages today already from AW, asking to contact x and y as they run out of credit on their phone  ::)
Is this for real??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 01 July 2017, 08:21:02 pm
Today late afternoon as I was on saafe so my mood was "playful"

Text from a moron:

Moron: wen can u c me
Me: When you learn how to spell.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 02 July 2017, 03:43:44 am
I was in a mood yesterday, so when I got two texts in 'youth speak' I responded accordingly. He asked me why I was 'texting like that'? Funnily enough, he didn't book.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 02 July 2017, 11:51:27 am
After so many freaking TWs this past few days plus being woken yet again at the crack of dawn by seagulls I just lost my temper (a little bit) with a timewaster. My website is on all my ads, even the small ones where you are not allowed to put much info.

He asked for half hour, I said, not doing them ATM (actually I am but didn't like the sound of him), he asked and I gave him my 1 hr price. I knew immediately how his voice changed it was too much but instead of saying so he came out with.

Him: "What do you look like, I am looking for someone busty....blah blah...

Me: "It's  all on my website there's a link on all my ads. FOR GOD'S SAKE READ THE WEBSITE!"

I then realised that even aside from my website my pics everywhere show me to be slim and NON BUSTY 🙄 So no excuse for this guy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Worried93 on 02 July 2017, 12:03:05 pm
Him - 15 minutes for ?40."
Me - Corrects price.
Him - to expensive. Where can I find cheaper service.

 :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 02 July 2017, 03:39:08 pm
Quote from: Worried93 on 02 July 2017, 12:03:05 pm
Him - 15 minutes for ?40."
Me - Corrects price.
Him - to expensive. Where can I find cheaper service.

 :FF

Charity shop.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 03 July 2017, 02:24:10 am
Or ASDA. Bargain.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 03 July 2017, 09:32:20 am
Yesterday I had a call from a very nice sounding and polite man. There was nothing at all to alert me he may be a tw. We arranged the in call and when I put the phone down I began to prepare and look forward to it (just under an hour's notice).

Then ten minutes later the text came from him "so are you going to let me lik your tight c*** and push my cock right down your throat?"

I cancelled him with one short text not even explaining why I did that. No response from him so I knew he was never going to turn up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 03 July 2017, 09:55:00 am
From (an idiot who didn't/couldn't read my profile on) AW:

'Hi, I'm looking to book u to bury my head in ur pussy an lick and taste it for a couple of hours. How hairy is that special area? Thanks'

Even if I did RO which I don't, BOAK :-X.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hippydippy on 04 July 2017, 01:41:41 pm
Quote from: amy on 03 July 2017, 09:55:00 am
From (an idiot who didn't/couldn't read my profile on) AW:

'Hi, I'm looking to book u to bury my head in ur pussy an lick and taste it for a couple of hours. How hairy is that special area? Thanks'


Just repulsive.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetmilf on 04 July 2017, 04:23:46 pm
I received a fairly lengthy message today, titled "regular?" from someone (a likely fantasist) who said, he had the prostate cancer and unable to get erect .... blah blah blah.. "I want bareback as condoms will make it worse, would you be interested?" Presumably, from someone from NW.  Deleted.  No point of even replying.   ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) FO was my response but didn't bother sending.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetmilf on 04 July 2017, 04:29:08 pm
Quote from: hippydippy on 04 July 2017, 01:41:41 pm
Just repulsive.
1+
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 04 July 2017, 05:53:40 pm
Had a call from a man listed on my phone as ''Keeps Enq Only' I ignored his first call but answered the 2nd one to hear a gruff voice..
Him..Hello Helen where abouts are you?
Me..We've had this conversation several times and I'm not going to waste my time telling you again!
Him "Are you the one by the Villa ground?
Me.. No
Him..Are you the one in Walsall?
Me.. No Bye.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 04 July 2017, 08:16:35 pm
Hi there babes are u available tonight for throne testing.

 ??? ??? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 04 July 2017, 09:20:54 pm
Him-30mins sex at 10pm
Me-no thanks
No previous contact
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 05 July 2017, 03:42:25 pm
Hi

Are you working today?

I want someone to pull my pants down, spank my ass then wank me off.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarastar1 on 08 July 2017, 01:36:10 pm
I'm not knowing whether to laugh or cry lol
I just received this in my inbox

'Only ?100 an hour surely your worth more?'

From some punter with 26 feedbacks.......

No indication of a booking just quite a stupid thing to say....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 08 July 2017, 09:21:43 pm
Quote from: Sarastar1 on 08 July 2017, 01:36:10 pm
I'm not knowing whether to laugh or cry lol
I just received this in my inbox

'Only ?100 an hour surely your worth more?'

From some punter with 26 feedbacks.......

No indication of a booking just quite a stupid thing to say....

You could always reply ask how much he's willing to pay.
My guess is you're just at the top of his price bracket. Hence his bitter comment. Just block.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 09 July 2017, 11:27:53 am
Yep when I have had well meaning clients say I am worth more,I have replied with 'Well do feel free to tip' they don't,just full of shit.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 09 July 2017, 05:33:54 pm
'Hi cutie, can I come play ? Mwah'  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 09 July 2017, 06:33:49 pm
Quote from: GothGirl on 09 July 2017, 05:33:54 pm
'Hi cutie, can I come play ? Mwah'  :-\

Tell him yes you got plenty of Lego at home.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 09 July 2017, 06:42:29 pm
A 20 something calls me. He starts with "good afternoon". Sounds decent. Can tell me on which website he found my number. Yay!
Sadly, next thing he does is calling me "babe". There I go asking him a few innocent questions and we get to the delicate matter of my name.
He then gives me his explanation. No, he doesn't know my name. He didn't bother remembering it. Why would he as, after all, its my work name and it's a fake name anyway so who cares and why waste his time ?

Hats off to him, I wasn't expecting that so I asked him if I should address him as arsehole or moron when we meet? He backed off and said ok, give me 5, is it ok if he checks my name and calls back?!

And this stage I told him no but if he wants to just fuck off that ok :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 09 July 2017, 07:21:15 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 09 July 2017, 06:33:49 pm
Tell him yes you got plenty of Lego at home.

LMAO
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendall on 10 July 2017, 02:31:31 pm
Some new guy who wants a booking after my finished time of 530 tell him this and he replies can I not do 630 tell him again no,asks if I'm free today I tell him I am for half an hour (cant face an hour with him) Asks if I'm not free for an hour and then txts again saying he will se me at 1230 and instructs me to be fresh out the shower wearing a towel,bangles and a bindi  :FF txt and told him to go find someone else. Could tell he was going to be on those awful cringy demanding clients that's suffocating to be around and would probably want the big light on and a cup of coffee (those two things really piss me off)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 10 July 2017, 06:30:56 pm
Hi want to make a booking with you but are you Louise
  I said no you have mistaken me for somone else
Are you sure I don't want to come and get emotionally attached to you
Me look I prefer you don't call me again please .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hippydippy on 11 July 2017, 10:50:44 pm
text at 2am- 'hey babe bet you love cum can I give you lots of mine?'

oh yeah I do this job cos I love cum. Idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HelenaB on 11 July 2017, 11:39:06 pm
Arranging a session and then a guy had to warn me of some "psychological issues" he has:

"Once I ejaculate,I lose my submissive side and I get all 'vanilla'.I feel guilty that I am into kink and fetishes and just wanna cuddle with my gf and listen to Taylor Swift."

No thanks, mate.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: QuinnAmour on 12 July 2017, 12:23:37 pm
'Send me ur number pet. Do u do cum in your arse'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 12 July 2017, 12:47:07 pm
I had an email requesting an outcall for a 15 mins quickie FFS!  I told him to just drop by his local parlour instead.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 12 July 2017, 03:23:09 pm
A guy is trying to book me.
I can vaguely remember him from 4 months ago. But he clearly has no memory of me. Zero. Nada. Really?! Really????? :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 13 July 2017, 11:18:56 am
I am very good look boy any cheaper price for 30 m if i am regular  :FF

I don't reply to texts. Why don't idiot go look for a girl who is in his price bracket that contact those he can't afford try haggle. dik head
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 13 July 2017, 10:09:34 pm
Him:
Hi Babe,

I just saw your profile and wow!! I'm staying in a hotel near xxx station. Are you available for a 30min incall? If so, what time can you do up til and where abouts exactly are you?? Also, I need you to be super discreet! Can you do that babe??xx

Me:
No babe, I am totally indiscreet. I arrive in a cab, dressed in my underwear and fishnet stockings, and walk through the hotel reception shouting "So who booked a hooker?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 13 July 2017, 10:37:37 pm
'' Will you do Cocaine wiv me always wonted to do it wiv a preggie bird. ''

Suck my left toe

Dickhead
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 13 July 2017, 10:40:06 pm
I am hating people today.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheilaStar on 13 July 2017, 10:58:21 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 13 July 2017, 10:09:34 pm
Him:
Hi Babe,

I just saw your profile and wow!! I'm staying in a hotel near xxx station. Are you available for a 30min incall? If so, what time can you do up til and where abouts exactly are you?? Also, I need you to be super discreet! Can you do that babe??xx

Me:
No babe, I am totally indiscreet. I arrive in a cab, dressed in my underwear and fishnet stockings, and walk through the hotel reception shouting "So who booked a hooker?"

Lol! This left me in stitches.

He's such a 'babe'!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 13 July 2017, 11:31:39 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 13 July 2017, 10:09:34 pm
Him:
Hi Babe,

I just saw your profile and wow!! I'm staying in a hotel near xxx station. Are you available for a 30min incall? If so, what time can you do up til and where abouts exactly are you?? Also, I need you to be super discreet! Can you do that babe??xx

Me:
No babe, I am totally indiscreet. I arrive in a cab, dressed in my underwear and fishnet stockings, and walk through the hotel reception shouting "So who booked a hooker?"

Fucking crying 😂😂😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 14 July 2017, 10:18:22 am
HAd a text from a guy wishing to meet but needs picking up from the local train station where I live WTF can he not walk?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 14 July 2017, 10:29:56 am
Quote from: Lushblossom on 14 July 2017, 10:18:22 am
HAd a text from a guy wishing to meet but needs picking up from the local train station where I live WTF can he not walk?
I've had a few asking to be picked up from the train station/bus station cheeky twats.Do they make an appointment for their hair cutting and ask the barber to pick them up?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 14 July 2017, 12:48:34 pm
Yes exactly I imagine they just don't see this as a 'job' and perhaps don't understand discretion if they are new to escorting. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 14 July 2017, 01:13:07 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 13 July 2017, 10:09:34 pm
Him:
Hi Babe,

I just saw your profile and wow!! I'm staying in a hotel near xxx station. Are you available for a 30min incall? If so, what time can you do up til and where abouts exactly are you?? Also, I need you to be super discreet! Can you do that babe??xx

Me:
No babe, I am totally indiscreet. I arrive in a cab, dressed in my underwear and fishnet stockings, and walk through the hotel reception shouting "So who booked a hooker?"

LMAO!
When I have a moron asking if my incall place is discreet I reply  "absolutely, and it's easy to find, I have this huge red light flashing right outside my door"  :FF
Wtf?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hippydippy on 14 July 2017, 01:37:13 pm
Quote from: English natural beauty on 13 July 2017, 10:37:37 pm
'' Will you do Cocaine wiv me always wonted to do it wiv a preggie bird. ''

Suck my left toe

Dickhead

what the actual fuck?!  >:( absolute dickhead, I agree
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 14 July 2017, 07:42:02 pm
By email:
You have amazing pictures. I've never done anything like this. What do I do to see you for real?

Call me, you silly twat. Fucking call me or go get some tissue before your hand gets all messy. I really don't care.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 14 July 2017, 10:52:30 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 14 July 2017, 07:42:02 pm
By email:
You have amazing pictures. I've never done anything like this. What do I do to see you for real?

Call me, you silly twat. Fucking call me or go get some tissue before your hand gets all messy. I really don't care.
Oh I hate all that guff..er you got my email address/phome number have a fucking guess how you get to meet me?!?These are never genuine all this I've never done this before what do I do bullcrap...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 14 July 2017, 11:06:42 pm
My profile states to call me to discuss a booking if for the first time with me. So he texts to ask what is the best time to phone me. If there was a best time I would put that on the profile. He didn't ring so I was right he was just an idiot.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss Etoile on 15 July 2017, 12:46:54 am
Him: "Hi Ms stunner lol take it easy with the acceleration , hope ti see you very soon A. Sweet dreams ms ferrari..... 👜👠👊"

 ???  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 15 July 2017, 08:13:32 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 14 July 2017, 10:52:30 pm
Oh I hate all that guff..er you got my email address/phome number have a fucking guess how you get to meet me?!?These are never genuine all this I've never done this before what do I do bullcrap...

Next thing you know is they ask you what "escort" means. Silly silly twats.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 15 July 2017, 09:27:00 am
Bloke via email:I really like your profile.Can I ask you a few things?
Me:Sure if it's not covered on my profile ask away.
Him:Where in Leeds are you?
Me:That's covered on my profile..
Why do they tell you they really like your profile when it's obvious they haven't read it?What they mean is 'I really liked staring at the tits on your pics'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 15 July 2017, 10:16:15 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 15 July 2017, 09:27:00 am
Bloke via email:I really like your profile.Can I ask you a few things?
Me:Sure if it's not covered on my profile ask away.
Him:Where in Leeds are you?
Me:That's covered on my profile..
Why do they tell you they really like your profile when it's obvious they haven't read it?What they mean is 'I really liked staring at the tits on your pics'.

That reminds me. Recently a long obnoxious text. Starting with how he loves my profile and enjoyed reading it. Followed by congratulations on my pictures (???!!!). And best part: could he ask me what services I offer and in particular do I provide a levels?

That after having read my profile hahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 15 July 2017, 11:58:34 pm
Had someone email about a booking. Said in his email would be coming over in September.

They stated they would be happy to pay a deposit. As it was for a longer booking I said yes a deposit would be required. I asked how they would be paying it when the time came (incase it was PayPal).

When they said bank transfer I asked if they lived outside the Uk (see the first paragraph for why I thought I needed to ask this).

Suddenly it was "what I'm British, how dare you say I'm not British" "Your making assumptions" "Your probably not British" "I think your a fraudster" I have trust issues"
" I've been messed about before"

I was like seriously wtf?  :FF  :FF

I mean seriously if you have trust issues then don't offer a fecking deposit ffs. :FF  :FF  :FF


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 17 July 2017, 03:55:36 pm
AW email yesterday..


Hi babyy
How are u hope ur well?
I am a white polite, respectful very friendly nice clean house u will feel very comfortable
Pls can u comin to see me B43 XXX
Txt me on on xxxxxxxxx NO calls please xx

I replied 'I don't do outcalls as stated on my profile'..

AW email today from the same twat...

Ok bab in call can u do then hf hr for me for ?30

I replied..'I don't offer anything for ?30 AS STATED ON MY PROFILE'.

Same twat emails me just now..

Do u do hardback

WTF is hardback?
I'm not replying to him again I'm just going to block the idiot.
Most surprisingly he has 8 AW feedbacks from escorts saying he is a 'lovely guy'
THIS is why I never trust AW feedback.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 17 July 2017, 06:08:12 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 17 July 2017, 03:55:36 pm
AW email yesterday..



Do u do hardback

WTF is hardback?


Its where you hit them with a book (hardback of course) and the more idiotic/annoying they are the bigger the book.  ;D

The really annoying ones get War & Peace  ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 17 July 2017, 06:09:55 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 17 July 2017, 03:55:36 pm

I'm not replying to him again I'm just going to block the idiot.
Most surprisingly he has 8 AW feedbacks from escorts saying he is a 'lovely guy'
THIS is why I never trust AW feedback.

I agree, just last week I met a new client who was ok but just that, ok. His feedback indicated he was the biggest and most gorgeous stud to walk through a wg's door! I have yet to leave him some feedback but refuse to gush like that and write rubbish.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 17 July 2017, 06:20:59 pm
Some people are just brain dead...had a guy email and ask if I could get another female in with me for 30 mins but just to watch.Booking agreed and that she would charge 30 to just watch.Told him we could only do this between 4:15pm and 6:15pm.
Later he rang and then asked if I did 45 mind and what the cost was pointed out my rates were on my profile but if he wanted my mate to watch it would be 40 for 45 mins,apparently he couldn't afford this and went back to orignal booking..he then said he would ring when he got to Leeds (this was at 2:30pm!).
I didn't take him seriously at all by this point.
Sure enough dimwit rings at 6pm asking if I am still available..apparently he doesn't read his email replies properly either and obviously thinks I have a duo partner in a wardrobe to be brought out whenever he feels like it!
This from a guy who has 14 good feedback with some wellknown escorts..wtf?!?And this is why I also don't put much faith on AW feedback either!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 17 July 2017, 06:24:39 pm
Quote from: Caledonia on 17 July 2017, 06:08:12 pm
Its where you hit them with a book (hardback of course) and the more idiotic/annoying they are the bigger the book.  ;D

The really annoying ones get War & Peace  ;D ;D
This one needs a dictionary.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 17 July 2017, 06:28:36 pm
Hi  luv do you have condoms big enough for my cock ?
Me... probably not bye !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 17 July 2017, 06:38:30 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 17 July 2017, 06:20:59 pm
Some people are just brain dead...had a guy email and ask if I could get another female in with me for 30 mins but just to watch.Booking agreed and that she would charge 30 to just watch.Told him we could only do this between 4:15pm and 6:15pm.
Later he rang and then asked if I did 45 mind and what the cost was pointed out my rates were on my profile but if he wanted my mate to watch it would be 40 for 45 mins,apparently he couldn't afford this and went back to orignal booking..he then said he would ring when he got to Leeds (this was at 2:30pm!).
I didn't take him seriously at all by this point.
Sure enough dimwit rings at 6pm asking if I am still available..apparently he doesn't read his email replies properly either and obviously thinks I have a duo partner in a wardrobe to be brought out whenever he feels like it!
This from a guy who has 14 good feedback with some wellknown escorts..wtf?!?And this is why I also don't put much faith on AW feedback either!
I also think some punters use their AW feedback as a way to boundary push us, I have found some think our rules only apply to 'lesser' punters with zero feedback and not to them. I often get punters with feedback emailing me asking for services I don't do or to do a booking in the evenings and weekends when I don't work. No chance!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 17 July 2017, 07:19:51 pm
Someone just now asked if I do outcalls, and I said 'no it's incalls only, as stated on my profile'. Then he said 'ahh ok not for some more?' Erm, outcalls are always more?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mya888 on 17 July 2017, 07:24:14 pm
A guy just called me asking for a booking. He specified that he wants me to quote : lock my lips with his as soon as I open the door, and don't even ask for money. He will put the money in his boxers and doesn't want me to ask for it as it'll ruin the mood as he cares about the chemistry between us. WTF
 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 17 July 2017, 07:29:02 pm
Quote from: Rosesugar on 17 July 2017, 06:28:36 pm
Hi  luv do you have condoms big enough for my cock ?
Me... probably not bye !!!

There is at least a chance he was genuine - some escorts don't have a variety of condom sizes in stock, and it does make the experience for the man unpleasant if they're too tight.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 17 July 2017, 07:35:04 pm
Quote from: Mya888 on 17 July 2017, 07:24:14 pm
A guy just called me asking for a booking. He specified that he wants me to quote : lock my lips with his as soon as I open the door, and don't even ask for money. He will put the money in his boxers and doesn't want me to ask for it as it'll ruin the mood as he cares about the chemistry between us. WTF
 :FF

OMG they really do think we are stupid!

I've had a rotten few days full of timewasters. The latest one asked a question which is clearly displayed on my adverts and then hung up. I then get a text spinning the line he's got phone trouble asking if he can call again! I send a slightly abrupt text saying he can call (doesn't have to ask ffs) once he's read my website. If he read that he would've seen that I don't answer texts. Then I get text back "can you sit on my face" ....and BLOCKED
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 17 July 2017, 07:56:43 pm
Quote from: Mya888 on 17 July 2017, 07:24:14 pm
A guy just called me asking for a booking. He specified that he wants me to quote : lock my lips with his as soon as I open the door, and don't even ask for money. He will put the money in his boxers and doesn't want me to ask for it as it'll ruin the mood as he cares about the chemistry between us. WTF
 :FF
You shouldn't have to ask for the money anyway!If he diesn't want to spoil the chemistry he could stick the dosh in your hand as you are kissing!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 17 July 2017, 08:17:24 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 17 July 2017, 06:38:30 pm
I also think some punters use their AW feedback as a way to boundary push us, I have found some think our rules only apply to 'lesser' punters with zero feedback and not to them. I often get punters with feedback emailing me asking for services I don't do or to do a booking in the evenings and weekends when I don't work. No chance!
Totally agree,the same guy also tried ringing me at 6:45pm..after I had told him I'd be in a booking at 6:30pm and then finishing for the day..did he think I'd answer my phone during my booking and change my mind about going home at 7:30pm and that my mate would still be hanging about as well?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 17 July 2017, 08:19:05 pm
Quote from: Rosesugar on 17 July 2017, 06:28:36 pm
Hi  luv do you have condoms big enough for my cock ?
Me... probably not bye !!!
I'd have replied with 'Sure I have plenty of extra small...'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sexymilf on 18 July 2017, 07:59:09 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 17 July 2017, 08:19:05 pm
I'd have replied with 'Sure I have plenty of extra small...'

Lol that would have killed his hard on!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 18 July 2017, 11:47:51 am
Those guys who are obviously doing a ring around......

Twat: Hello is that X, I'm going to be in X tomorrow...

Me:  Sorry what makes you think I'm in X?

Twat: Oh I know you're not (yeh right) I will be there tomorrow, how far are you from there?

Me: Sorry not sure, (genuinely didn't know as I'm touring but knew it wasn't near) I suggest you look it up on Google

Twat: blah blah blah I will put it in my Satnav tomorrow and see  ???

Me: Ok np (hangs up)

Checked after its like 50/60 miles away   :P Why would you not check how far the location is in advance  :FF.  Obviously not expecting him to call tomorrow!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 18 July 2017, 12:04:17 pm
A text yesterday:

When

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 19 July 2017, 11:03:59 am
Phone conversation this morning:

Twat: hi love, you working?
Me: oh, that's not my name.
Twat: sorry love, what's your name?
Me: hang up.

Since I turned my phone on this morning it's been 50 Shades of Twat  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 19 July 2017, 11:41:21 am
Phone call:

Creepy: Hello, you're the most beautiful woman in the world, you have the most amazing body baybeee
Me: Thanks
Creepy: How do you get such a beautiful body?
Me: I eat well
Creepy: And I bet sex keeps you looking so young baybeee
Me: Would you like to make a booking? (was planning on being busy forever more if he tried tbh)
Creepy: Do you do anal?
Me: No
Creepy (confused) You don't?
Me: Are you going to make a booking?
Creepy: Your tits are so perfect baybeee
Me: Are you going to make a booking?
Creepy: Tell me about your tits baybeee
Me: Are  you going to make a booking or just ask me fucking stupid questions?!
Creepy: *Hangs up*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hippydippy on 19 July 2017, 04:28:53 pm
text conversation
him Hi how are you anal dyou open up easily?X john
me not the best way to start a conversation.
him lol right
me I can't offer anal to you.I will gladly fuck you up the ass though x
him but its showing anal on your likes list
me Ah so it does. 'at discretion' so I choose no.
him ok sorry
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 19 July 2017, 07:35:22 pm
I just had one of those callers who tried to keep his voice low (in kitchen while wife in living room? or at work and boss not far away?) so I asked him to speak up please. He did slightly and asked if I would do an overnight with him. I said no and if he had read my profiles he would know I don't. He then says in his sexiest voice "but you are stunning babe, absolutely stunning" as though that will sway me to meet him. I repeat I do not do overnights and he drawls "but babe you are so stunning I would love to do an overnight"    ::)

Do they honestly think we are taken in by these faux gushing compliments and will alter our work methods just for them?

I am simply stunning by the way, in case you wonder.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katiexxx on 19 July 2017, 08:06:32 pm

18:36     Are you free in couple of hours x
18:37     Ok next time my girlfriend in tonight x would you piss on my cock? X

 ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 19 July 2017, 10:17:39 pm


Quote
Hi babe,

would like a quick handjob service. no need for you to get dressed or strip etc. I ll just come in, you wank me with hand and i leave. Max 10 min. I wont touch you if you prefer.
how much for it?

I am 27 single :-)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mya888 on 21 July 2017, 10:07:20 pm
Him: hi, whats the puatcode?
Me: sending the postcode to him
Him: OK, c u in 30mns

 :FF
Haha to which I replied : i haven't said I agree on a booking, neither did I say I was available (at that point I decided to ignore and forget the twat)
Him: oh sorry got too excited
Him: can I see you please
Him: is that a no
Him: too late now bye

Oh my god  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 21 July 2017, 10:27:30 pm
Quote from: Mya888 on 21 July 2017, 10:07:20 pm
Him: hi, whats the puatcode?
Me: sending the postcode to him
Him: OK, c u in 30mns

 :FF
Haha to which I replied : i haven't said I agree on a booking, neither did I say I was available (at that point I decided to ignore and forget the twat)
Him: oh sorry got too excited
Him: can I see you please
Him: is that a no
Him: too late now bye

Oh my god  ::)
Why would you send your postcode to some random texter?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 21 July 2017, 11:15:55 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 21 July 2017, 10:27:30 pm
Why would you send your postcode to some random texter?

Yes, I don't disclose my full postcode until we've spoken on the phone, or he's at least asked sensibly!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 21 July 2017, 11:22:47 pm
Quote from: Kay on 21 July 2017, 11:15:55 pm
Yes, I don't disclose my full postcode until we've spoken on the phone, or he's at least asked sensibly!

I never give my real whole postcode, ever!  I give one which is a street or so away and then once I know they are where they say they are they get more info.  I assumed most escorts do this.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 21 July 2017, 11:36:20 pm
I'll give the postcode to the car park opposite to me but also tell them they will need to get back in touch with a time and length of booking before I can see them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 21 July 2017, 11:55:29 pm
Him - hi, id like to make a booking but have a few questions first ?

Me - ok go ahead

Him - can you do rimming on me?

Me - no that's not on my likes list

Him - do you swallow?

Me - no that's not on my likes list

Him - ok can you do this ... can you blow your nose all over my face

Me - excuse me what?

Him - repeated himself

Me - don't be so bloody disgusting

Him - ok can I pick all the stuff from your nose and rub it into my face

Me - piss off *hung up*

 :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 22 July 2017, 11:56:24 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 21 July 2017, 11:36:20 pm
I'll give the postcode to the car park opposite to me but also tell them they will need to get back in touch with a time and length of booking before I can see them.

I live 4 min walk from a train station and by a very well known venue. All this is already on my adverts. If they can't be arsed reading it there's not much more I can do for them.
I ask them if they plan on driving, if they do I tell them I have a pay and display right next door. I really can't do more  :FF

Still, once every 3-4 months I have a random guy getting lost. It's like missing Big Ben  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mya888 on 22 July 2017, 06:53:12 pm
Mature Helen - never said I gave my full real postcode, just the first letters and digits so they know rough location.
I'm a touring escort so my postcode changes every week. As well.
I should've specified that, sorry.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 24 July 2017, 07:00:10 pm
Received this email..

hi helen

please read my whole e-mail that way we don't waste each other's time. thank you

i'm interested in meeting you for an hour's fun-time if you are available during early mornings [09:00 - 10:00 am]. my meets will be every 3 / 4 weeks when i come for meetings at the university hospitals

i currently see a girl in birmingham but she's moving to boston so i'm looking for a regular liaison with someone instead

i am of asian origin always shaved down below and with a cut cock [circumcised]

my type of meet will normally include foreplay, wanking each other, tit sucking and finger fucking you, massaging each other BUT no intercourse. for this i pay carly ?60 for the hour

if you are interested in such a meet then please e-mail back. thanks

xxxx

1. I don't start at 9am my times are clearly on my profile
2. I don't see Asian men also clearly on my profile
3. I don't allow 'finger fucking'  fingering is not a service I list as available.
4. Punters don't tell me how much they will pay me.
5. ?60 per hour is just a fucking insult.
6. I was pissed off from the first sentence of his email because he hadn't bothered to read my profile.

He had lots of feedback so for fun I read some of his 27 reviews and very explicit field reports where he says things like 'I was wanking her clit' and 'she loved my man juice' Say no more!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 24 July 2017, 07:35:42 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 24 July 2017, 07:00:10 pm
Received this email..

hi helen

please read my whole e-mail that way we don't waste each other's time. thank you

i'm interested in meeting you for an hour's fun-time if you are available during early mornings [09:00 - 10:00 am]. my meets will be every 3 / 4 weeks when i come for meetings at the university hospitals

i currently see a girl in birmingham but she's moving to boston so i'm looking for a regular liaison with someone instead

i am of asian origin always shaved down below and with a cut cock [circumcised]

my type of meet will normally include foreplay, wanking each other, tit sucking and finger fucking you, massaging each other BUT no intercourse. for this i pay carly ?60 for the hour

if you are interested in such a meet then please e-mail back. thanks

xxxx

1. I don't start at 9am my times are clearly on my profile
2. I don't see Asian men also clearly on my profile
3. I don't allow 'finger fucking'  fingering is not a service I list as available.
4. Punters don't tell me how much they will pay me.
5. ?60 per hour is just a fucking insult.
6. I was pissed off from the first sentence of his email because he hadn't bothered to read my profile.

He had lots of feedback so for fun I read some of his 27 reviews and very explicit field reports where he says things like 'I was wanking her clit' and 'she loved my man juice' Say no more!
I would ask him if he wants a picture then send him one of vomit. Yuk he sounds vile.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 24 July 2017, 08:05:54 pm
Quote from: English natural beauty on 24 July 2017, 07:35:42 pm
I would ask him if he wants a picture then send him one of vomit. Yuk he sounds vile.
Yes he does, I thought about sending back a curt response to his email but I've decided to ignore him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 24 July 2017, 08:21:05 pm
If they are not content with the twenty or so free photos on my profile and they email asking for a reply with a special photo just for them I am so tempted to send them a special photo, but not of me, of my wheelie bin. It IS special as it has decorations and stickers on it and is quite unique.  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 24 July 2017, 08:48:47 pm
Quote from: Justine on 24 July 2017, 08:21:05 pm
If they are not content with the twenty or so free photos on my profile and they email asking for a reply with a special photo just for them I am so tempted to send them a special photo, but not of me, of my wheelie bin. It IS special as it has decorations and stickers on it and is quite unique.  :P

Yes do it HAHAHAH
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 25 July 2017, 01:23:19 pm
A 21yo who in one fecking minute adressed me twice as darrhling and called me OLD twice. Saying he luvs old chicks so I'm perfect. Oh for fucks sake how on earth can he expect me to say yes to seeing him?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 26 July 2017, 09:54:47 pm
Just checked AW and I have 3 emails

1. Available today? xx (this from a punter who joined a week ago has no feedback and is under my age limit and emails after my finish time)
2. Staying here tonite babe if you fancy it? (this 3 hours after my finish time wanting an out call which I don't do and also too young)
3. Hey gorgeous, take a quick look at my profile, i was wondering if your up for partnering up and making some good money together? Xxx



All total dregs of punterdom
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 27 July 2017, 12:05:38 am
Today I received from a cunt with 0 feedback

'Do you get messy with piss and Shit too Hun'

Vile.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 27 July 2017, 12:45:02 am
Had a call today from an idiot who said he liked larger ladies then asked if I was toned. Was thinking here pal I'm a size 24 bbw, aye of course I'm toned.  :FF  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 27 July 2017, 02:21:22 am
idiot - what services do you provide
me - where you found my number all the information is there
idiot - repeats question but mumbles voice becomes distance
me - i only speak English do speak louder
him - got your number off facebook
me - ( course i know his chatting shit ) well go back to facebook and read info

Then my paranoid self  had to double check search for my work number nothing popped up.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 27 July 2017, 02:53:12 am
Do you working?
From 6pm yes

You can come to my house.
No I'm incall only as stated on my ad

What's your name in Facebook
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 27 July 2017, 11:32:20 am
Oh a few days ago I got a definite Oscar winner of all them morons.
Don't be jealous, ladies! Happy to pm his number  ;D

YOU HAVE NOW?

Yes, thats the text :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 27 July 2017, 01:56:22 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 27 July 2017, 11:32:20 am
Oh a few days ago I got a definite Oscar winner of all them morons.
Don't be jealous, ladies! Happy to pm his number  ;D

YOU HAVE NOW?

Yes, thats the text :FF

lmao that might be my new favourite
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 27 July 2017, 02:27:47 pm
Nope. I got better. This thread is officially mine now!

An older white upper class prick calls me. Says he can't remember "much" as he's had my number saved since last week. Asks me to introduce myself (really?!).
I sweetly ask him "ok, well what is it that you can remember then?" And I hear : "Nothing. But you can't be that bad, I saved your number."

Hang up. Block. New category created :CretinRude
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 27 July 2017, 04:52:43 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 27 July 2017, 02:27:47 pm
Nope. I got better. This thread is officially mine now!

An older white upper class prick calls me. Says he can't remember "much" as he's had my number saved since last week. Asks me to introduce myself (really?!).
I sweetly ask him "ok, well what is it that you can remember then?" And I hear : "Nothing. But you can't be that bad, I saved your number."

Hang up. Block. New category created :CretinRude

lol these guys amaze me. I get that they might save the number for later but it would behoove them to just have another quick read of the profile to refresh their memory before calling. It's like the guys who call or text saying 'which one are you?' erm, you called me, not the other way round?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 27 July 2017, 04:54:30 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 27 July 2017, 02:27:47 pm
Nope. I got better. This thread is officially mine now!

An older white upper class prick calls me. Says he can't remember "much" as he's had my number saved since last week. Asks me to introduce myself (really?!).
I sweetly ask him "ok, well what is it that you can remember then?" And I hear : "Nothing. But you can't be that bad, I saved your number."

Hang up. Block. New category created :CretinRude

I had one like this the other day , he phoned up & said ... 
'Say something that will make me book you'


How about piss off
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 27 July 2017, 04:56:10 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 24 July 2017, 07:00:10 pm
Received this email..

hi helen

please read my whole e-mail that way we don't waste each other's time. thank you

i'm interested in meeting you for an hour's fun-time if you are available during early mornings [09:00 - 10:00 am]. my meets will be every 3 / 4 weeks when i come for meetings at the university hospitals

i currently see a girl in birmingham but she's moving to boston so i'm looking for a regular liaison with someone instead

i am of asian origin always shaved down below and with a cut cock [circumcised]

my type of meet will normally include foreplay, wanking each other, tit sucking and finger fucking you, massaging each other BUT no intercourse. for this i pay carly ?60 for the hour

if you are interested in such a meet then please e-mail back. thanks

xxxx

1. I don't start at 9am my times are clearly on my profile
2. I don't see Asian men also clearly on my profile
3. I don't allow 'finger fucking'  fingering is not a service I list as available.
4. Punters don't tell me how much they will pay me.
5. ?60 per hour is just a fucking insult.
6. I was pissed off from the first sentence of his email because he hadn't bothered to read my profile.

He had lots of feedback so for fun I read some of his 27 reviews and very explicit field reports where he says things like 'I was wanking her clit' and 'she loved my man juice' Say no more!

60 QUID AN HOUR😂😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 27 July 2017, 11:49:31 pm
Guys who drip feed their questions in texts instead of just calling and asking it all in one go.

Is this [my working name]?
It is yes.

Are you in Glasgow?
Correct.

I have a list of things I want do to. Just let me know if you can do them?

Mate just bloody call and book and stop faffing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 28 July 2017, 09:25:46 am
Quote from: mature helen on 26 July 2017, 09:54:47 pm
Just checked AW and I have 3 emails

1. Available today? xx (this from a punter who joined a week ago has no feedback and is under my age limit and emails after my finish time)
2. Staying here tonite babe if you fancy it? (this 3 hours after my finish time wanting an out call which I don't do and also too young)
3. Hey gorgeous, take a quick look at my profile, i was wondering if your up for partnering up and making some good money together? Xxx



All total dregs of punterdom

Just think of it Helen, all that good money you could finally be making if you partner up with number 3... ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 28 July 2017, 09:45:04 am
08:50: Hi
08:50: Hi
08:50: Hi
08:50: I AM DEAF. I WANT SEXY WITH YOU AND HOW MUCH SEXY, PLEASE YOU CAN ADDRESS GIVE ME XXX YOU BABES COULD TEXT ME PLEASE XXX
08:50: I AM DEAF. I WANT SEXY WITH YOU AND HOW MUCH SEXY, PLEASE YOU CAN ADDRESS GIVE ME XXX YOU BABES COULD TEXT ME PLEASE XXX
08:50: I AM DEAF. I WANT SEXY WITH YOU AND HOW MUCH SEXY, PLEASE YOU CAN ADDRESS GIVE ME XXX YOU BABES COULD TEXT ME PLEASE XXX
08:51: I AM DEAF. I WANT SEXY WITH YOU AND HOW MUCH SEXY, PLEASE YOU CAN ADDRESS GIVE ME XXX YOU BABES COULD TEXT ME PLEASE XXX
08:51 Where r u to Coventry
08:51 Where r u to Coventry
08:53 Please you babes can text me
08:53 Please you babes can text me

He also phoned me four times, which rather gives the lie to his claim of being deaf.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetmilf on 28 July 2017, 11:27:03 am
This is someone I met once before.  He didn't tell me before as to why, but he said, not sure what time I could get to you.  I decided to refuse as you could end up waiting all day. Clearly, he's not respectful of my schedule.  He then tells me, "well, I am using a public transport from such and such".  Well, I have had clients who used the public transport, travelling much further than XYZ.    Some men are just so self-absorbed as we have no life or schedule to meet by expecting to drop everything for "him".  I had another client a long time ago, he's busy with work, never gave me a definite time, so it's always a last minute thing. Once I asked him, "do you know roughly what time?"  He never replied and went to someone else.    Fine by me, now he says he wants to see me again, but I replied politely, I doubt it will go ahead e.g. games.   No reply from him and generally, a guy, who minds escorts having our own minds, seemingly.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 28 July 2017, 01:49:09 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 28 July 2017, 09:45:04 am
08:50: Hi
08:50: Hi
08:50: Hi
08:50: I AM DEAF. I WANT SEXY WITH YOU AND HOW MUCH SEXY, PLEASE YOU CAN ADDRESS GIVE ME XXX YOU BABES COULD TEXT ME PLEASE XXX
08:50: I AM DEAF. I WANT SEXY WITH YOU AND HOW MUCH SEXY, PLEASE YOU CAN ADDRESS GIVE ME XXX YOU BABES COULD TEXT ME PLEASE XXX
08:50: I AM DEAF. I WANT SEXY WITH YOU AND HOW MUCH SEXY, PLEASE YOU CAN ADDRESS GIVE ME XXX YOU BABES COULD TEXT ME PLEASE XXX
08:51: I AM DEAF. I WANT SEXY WITH YOU AND HOW MUCH SEXY, PLEASE YOU CAN ADDRESS GIVE ME XXX YOU BABES COULD TEXT ME PLEASE XXX
08:51 Where r u to Coventry
08:51 Where r u to Coventry
08:53 Please you babes can text me
08:53 Please you babes can text me

He also phoned me four times, which rather gives the lie to his claim of being deaf.

Ohhhhh my champion is back!!!! Well good luck because once he sets his heart on you he will be back in your spam folder every other week!!!
Hes hilarious!

I WANT SEXY WITH YOU AND HOW MUCH SEXY Plenty plenty of sexy i say!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mya888 on 28 July 2017, 06:13:10 pm
Losing my patience today  :FF.

A guy calls me and says: hi, can you tell me your name please?
Me: excuse me?
Him: what is your name?
Me: gave him my adult work name
Him: and can you tell me more about yourself? I looked at your profile yesterday but don't have it in front of me now.
Me: what?
Him: tell me more about yourself, your age, where are you from?
Me: please go back to my AW profile, and read if first before calling me. Goodbye.

I swear I'm waaay too nice to people on the phone  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 28 July 2017, 06:15:40 pm
Quote from: Mya888 on 28 July 2017, 06:13:10 pm
Losing my patience today  :FF.

A guy calls me and says: hi, can you tell me your name please?
Me: excuse me?
Him: what is your name?
Me: gave him my adult work name
Him: and can you tell me more about yourself? I looked at your profile yesterday but don't have it in front of me now.
Me: what?
Him: tell me more about yourself, your age, where are you from?
Me: please go back to my AW profile, and read if first before calling me. Goodbye.

I swear I'm waaay too nice to people on the phone  ::)

When I am in those moods to reply back not nice I say

Him - Tell me more about yourself
Me - I am a black girl with a massive black cock who will do you up the arse for 50 quid
Then the idiot puts phone down

Some guys are lazy diks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 28 July 2017, 06:58:10 pm
I have a little script now for guys who give me that bullshit. "I'm going to text you a link to my profile, please read it through and then give me a call back if you want to make a booking." They never call back!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mya888 on 28 July 2017, 07:06:08 pm
I don't know what they're expecting really, probably a good old chat over the phone to waste my time. The most annoying is that when they speak very slowly and they try to sound all sensual and posh. Anyone else gets that?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 28 July 2017, 07:41:59 pm
Yes the ones trying to sound sexy and usually with a lowered voice as if they have gone into the bathroom away from their partner to secretly call me. Yuck.

Today I had a guy saying he'd seen me two years ago n had good memories of fucking my arse. He was in the area today and wanted to come see me. I couldn't remember him. I told him I wasn't available until 4pm. He replies almost instantly saying he could come over now and fuck my arse for ?50, how does that sound? Fucking stupid I thought and unappealing. I responded that I told you I wasn't available until later and I don't do any services for ?50 so couldn't help him. He replied saying he apologises if he'd insulted me. Damn right you bloody idiot. This guy had three good feedbacks on aw and they all said he was such a nice guy with a big cock. Another thing I didn't fancy today as I woke up in a shit mood after a bad sleep with a headache, last thing I needed was a big cock especially after yesterday having to deal with stinky genitals in two bookings where wet wipes didn't cut it n I had to try my best not to puke but couldn't help gagging. No more...they all must wash when they arrive, no excuses! I'm not dealing with stinky, unwashed, sweaty or pissy bits again. It's vile.

Also had one tosspot ask to come in the morning for 10mins for ?30!!! FFS. I don't do mornings n would never do anything for such an insulting price.

I absolutely HATE men who think they can quote their own measly prices and see me when I've stated I'm not available for a timescale I do not offer.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 28 July 2017, 07:55:47 pm
Had a bloke call and say he had my number in his phone but didn't know why. Said there must be a reason, what do you do? It was then established it must be because I do anal. He didn't book though. What an idiot. Fancy calling up and not even knowing anything about me. Ridiculous.

Have had others call and ask what I look like, my age, location, cost, services.....everything.....in one phone call. Fuck off!!! Why call if you don't even know what the girl looks like or a thing about her??? These sorts are just nuts. And of course they aren't going to book anyway.

Another texts "Are u available today?" all the time but has never once booked when I say yes I am. Blocked.

And I had a very cheeky call (voicemail) in the early hours by some teenager who I think was trying to act the big man in front of his mates, saying I like your pictures and your tits, bit droopy though but nice. Fucking rude. I thought you know what mate you need to learn a thing or two about the female body and mature bbws, as unless they have had an uplift it's not gonna be realistic to be an older lady, be supersize with big tits and have them be perky like some skinny porn model in her twenties or a girl with implants. These guys seem to think every woman has gravity defying breasts and it's just not real life. Oh and he wanted me to call him back. Yeah right.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 28 July 2017, 07:57:26 pm
Quote from: CurlsnCurves on 28 July 2017, 07:41:59 pm
Yes the ones trying to sound sexy and usually with a lowered voice as if they have gone into the bathroom away from their partner to secretly call me. Yuck.

When I get these I tell them to speak up as I'm hard of hearing (which is true). If I feel bitchy then I add "Young man!" at the end, channeling the old Viz comics of Mrs Brady, Old Lady :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 29 July 2017, 01:48:04 am
My simple reply is FUCK OFF YOU TOSSER, then block the asses......No tolerance for fuckwits at all
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 29 July 2017, 01:56:37 am
Charming message earlier made my knicker elastic snap..



Quote
titwank???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 29 July 2017, 03:17:56 am
My pre-bedtime gem, in just now via AW...

Can you do WhatsApp pictures with me

My reply...

No.

His reply...

Ok. Need to cum.


EDIT... and he's back: Your no fun. Booo



 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 29 July 2017, 02:23:02 pm
Quote from: Mya888 on 28 July 2017, 07:06:08 pm
I don't know what they're expecting really, probably a good old chat over the phone to waste my time. The most annoying is that when they speak very slowly and they try to sound all sensual and posh. Anyone else gets that?

Yes! They actually think they sound really seductive, as if we're going to swoon or something.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 29 July 2017, 02:26:42 pm
Quote from: sweetmilf on 28 July 2017, 11:27:03 am
This is someone I met once before.  He didn't tell me before as to why, but he said, not sure what time I could get to you.  I decided to refuse as you could end up waiting all day. Clearly, he's not respectful of my schedule.  He then tells me, "well, I am using a public transport from such and such".  Well, I have had clients who used the public transport, travelling much further than XYZ.    Some men are just so self-absorbed as we have no life or schedule to meet by expecting to drop everything for "him".  I had another client a long time ago, he's busy with work, never gave me a definite time, so it's always a last minute thing. Once I asked him, "do you know roughly what time?"  He never replied and went to someone else.    Fine by me, now he says he wants to see me again, but I replied politely, I doubt it will go ahead e.g. games.   No reply from him and generally, a guy, who minds escorts having our own minds, seemingly.

These guys think it's like a booty call and can show up whenever they please. They think they're the only client in the world! I get these vibes as well from guys who ask for the postcode straight away thinking they can just come immediately without even bothering to ask if we'll be available  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 29 July 2017, 02:56:40 pm
Quote from: Mya888 on 28 July 2017, 07:06:08 pm
I don't know what they're expecting really, probably a good old chat over the phone to waste my time. The most annoying is that when they speak very slowly and they try to sound all sensual and posh. Anyone else gets that?

Oh that winds me up crazy. I think they try to sound sophisticated so that us poor illiterate sex workers get impressed.
Ps: these never book so sometimes I allow myself a little treat and get snarky with them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 29 July 2017, 03:25:33 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 29 July 2017, 03:17:56 am
My pre-bedtime gem, in just now via AW...

Can you do WhatsApp pictures with me

My reply...

No.

His reply...

Ok. Need to cum.


EDIT... and he's back: Your no fun. Booo



 ::)

You should of sent him a picture of an infected std dick. - I always do when I get such stupid requests
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 30 July 2017, 11:52:07 pm
Just received... 'Meet tomorrow after work?'

How hard is it to bloody introduce yourself and ask if I'm available like a normal human being?????

I replied 'who is this?' Hahahaha


His reasonse - 'is this not an AW num?'


Debating what to reply ..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 31 July 2017, 01:45:58 pm
Just now text can I pay to smell you ?
Added to block list
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 01 August 2017, 12:23:01 pm
Hi there, I am a professional, middle aged, average, quiet, polite, clean guy. Caucasian with medium build and average looks. I would like only hand relief to ease my stress and omit the tensions of the daily work grind.
I would like to pay either ?10.00 for twice per week (preferred option) or ?15, 00 for once per week. Best time for me would be after work. I finish at 5.30pm (Mon to Thur) and 5.00pm on a Friday. I work in the ******** area. I can travel to most places in the West Yorkshire region within a reasonable distance say 10 miles from ******, but the closer the better. I live in the ****** area, so around this area would be fine also.
I think this is an OK deal as it is just hand relief and I do release quite quickly (about max 10 mins).
I hope this arrangement is OK with you and I look forward to your reply.
Thanks

15 quid....what is this guy smoking  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: QuinnAmour on 01 August 2017, 02:34:46 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 01 August 2017, 12:23:01 pm
Hi there, I am a professional, middle aged, average, quiet, polite, clean guy. Caucasian with medium build and average looks. I would like only hand relief to ease my stress and omit the tensions of the daily work grind.
I would like to pay either ?10.00 for twice per week (preferred option) or ?15, 00 for once per week. Best time for me would be after work. I finish at 5.30pm (Mon to Thur) and 5.00pm on a Friday. I work in the ******** area. I can travel to most places in the West Yorkshire region within a reasonable distance say 10 miles from ******, but the closer the better. I live in the ****** area, so around this area would be fine also.
I think this is an OK deal as it is just hand relief and I do release quite quickly (about max 10 mins).
I hope this arrangement is OK with you and I look forward to your reply.
Thanks

15 quid....what is this guy smoking  ???

This kind of entitlement angers me to the max. Do people not realise how bloody rude it is to basically negotiate your worth at all, never mind to your face?? My response to this shot is usually 'and that is why I set my rates and not you. Buh'bye now'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 02 August 2017, 01:39:25 pm
Get a text "Hi. U working today please?"

I reply with my standard "Yes, please call me as I wont reply to anymore texts"

Of course he doesn't call but texts "Ok darling. Where u based? And are u Kate?"

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 02 August 2017, 02:39:22 pm
Had a call from a guy 1.15pm so I gave him my post code while he was in his car it told him he was half an hour away so I said 1.45? he said he wanted 2.00pm so I said ok, 20 minutes later I get a text to say he's running late can he come at 2.20pm I texted back No I'm cancelling your booking.
I really cant be arsed.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 02 August 2017, 04:57:31 pm
I'm having a day off as I can't be bothered with dickheads the past couple of days.
Had several bellends one asking for a massage,I asked him if he meant escort and he said er yeah when can you fit me in,well when were you wanting,er today,what time..er whenever..(oh just feck off..like getting blood out of a stone and it really irritates me when they go round the houses asking for a massage..I'm a hooker!)
Another slimey sounding bloke asking if I'm around today..nope..aww that's a shame...awww..I half booked him in for tomorrow after he asked if I was free all day tomoz (No dickhead make an actual booking!)then when I was going through confirming instructions he asks if I do anal!
I said I take it you haven't read a word of my ad have you?Er no just pictures and your number..I see well you won't have read the bit that says if you can't be arsed to take 5 mins to read it I can't be arsed to see you! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 02 August 2017, 05:15:56 pm
Free for 30 mins...60...need to cum twice.

Is it so hard to say hello and book in like a normal human being?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 03 August 2017, 11:17:10 am
Phone call
"How long for 15 mintues?"
"Do you mean how much?"
"Are you working?"
"Yes"
"How long for 15?"
"Do you mean how long for ?15?"
"No, how long for 15 mintues?"
"You get 15 minutes for 15 minutes"

I hung up. I have no patience today!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 03 August 2017, 06:04:02 pm
It annoys me when random guys send through booking requests without discussing it with me first (I have this written on my profile). Yesterday someone sent through two booking requests for 1 hour bookings but quoting my half hour price. I sent a polite email to them informing them to contact me first to arrange and then call to book, and also said I'm sick and not working this week but will be back next week. What does he do? Sends through another booking request for today.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 03 August 2017, 06:18:01 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 03 August 2017, 06:04:02 pm
It annoys me when random guys send through booking requests without discussing it with me first (I have this written on my profile). Yesterday someone sent through two booking requests for 1 hour bookings but quoting my half hour price. I sent a polite email to them informing them to contact me first to arrange and then call to book, and also said I'm sick and not working this week but will be back next week. What does he do? Sends through another booking request for today.  :FF

Yup this was yet another reason I keep my diary closed (aside from the random nutter who put thro a shed load of bookings just to leave nasty FB only)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 04 August 2017, 08:47:31 am
Quote from: Lucie268 on 03 August 2017, 06:04:02 pm
It annoys me when random guys send through booking requests without discussing it with me first (I have this written on my profile). Yesterday someone sent through two booking requests for 1 hour bookings but quoting my half hour price. I sent a polite email to them informing them to contact me first to arrange and then call to book, and also said I'm sick and not working this week but will be back next week. What does he do? Sends through another booking request for today.  :FF
And that's why I keep my AW calendar set to unavailable.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 04 August 2017, 09:38:29 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 04 August 2017, 08:47:31 am
And that's why I keep my AW calendar set to unavailable.

That's a good shout, I'm gonna do that now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 04 August 2017, 10:50:08 am
A guy asked me owing to his nerves could I please walk up to where he parks later today to escort him back to my home.

In what way would that be discreet?  Me picking him up in high heels and next to nothing on?  Walking in together?

He has never met an escort before and was suffering from nerves.

I do sympathise but that is beyond the call of duty and no way discreet so I had to cancel him.  Hey ho.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mya888 on 04 August 2017, 11:03:49 am
Quote from: Lushblossom on 04 August 2017, 10:50:08 am
A guy asked me owing to his nerves could I please walk up to where he parks later today to escort him back to my home.

In what way would that be discreet?  Me picking him up in high heels and next to nothing on?  Walking in together?

He has never met an escort before and was suffering from nerves.

I do sympathise but that is beyond the call of duty and no way discreet so I had to cancel him.  Hey ho.


That's what I find really frustrating, men who have never seen an escort, and are so nervous it makes me nervous lol
Like, they sit there saying "I'm so nervous, Ive never done it before, I don't know what to do, you're so beautiful" when asked what they like they can't even Answer.. They'll sit uncomfortably on the bed etc..

I can understand little bit of nerves but at the end of the day, I didn't force them to see me, they're all grown up men, and they expect me to guide them and hold their hand throughout the whole booking!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 04 August 2017, 12:24:59 pm
I think the vast majority of these so called 'nervous newbies' are bullshitting or are timewasters.Its interesting to me that they are so nervous yet they can't/won't read your profile where nearly every question they have is right on there.
I had one the other day and he asked what he needed to do before the booking..I asked like what and he said 'Well I presume I should be clean before I come to see you?'
No mate turn up smelling like shit!Seriously does a bloke ever need to be told to have a shower in the morning or to wash his cock before presenting it to me?
There are genuine newbies but these demonstrate some common sense and notmally they spend a bit of time reading things..and thinking about it before they get in touch they don't send umpteen messages asking really silly questions.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetmilf on 04 August 2017, 12:45:29 pm
Someone said, "I had a bad experience once before." out of blue over the phone during the screening. His accent was oddly so "official",  he had no feedbacks.  He did everything ok. I usually wouldn't mind someone who had no feedbacks so long as he had passed the screening, but there's something a little odd about this chap.  Well, I said to myself, it could be someone from the local police checking on "girls" on AW as this was commented on another thread. 

I am certainly far more cautious now after getting messed around of late.  I said I should give myself some space to do something else.  August isn't gonna last forever.  Work is so important but your physical/mental health is a priority in this game.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 04 August 2017, 01:52:10 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 04 August 2017, 12:24:59 pm
I think the vast majority of these so called 'nervous newbies' are bullshitting or are timewasters.Its interesting to me that they are so nervous yet they can't/won't read your profile where nearly every question they have is right on there.
I had one the other day and he asked what he needed to do before the booking..I asked like what and he said 'Well I presume I should be clean before I come to see you?'
No mate turn up smelling like shit!Seriously does a bloke ever need to be told to have a shower in the morning or to wash his cock before presenting it to me?
There are genuine newbies but these demonstrate some common sense and notmally they spend a bit of time reading things..and thinking about it before they get in touch they don't send umpteen messages asking really silly questions.
I agree but then you get the odd one (as I had today) who is so new he phoned just before the booking as he didn't know if he had to provide condoms or if I would have them! That is when he convinced me that he really had not punted before
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 04 August 2017, 01:59:09 pm
Today is killing me.

"Hi babe, hows you??? Are you free for a drink over the weekend??xx"

 :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 04 August 2017, 03:15:01 pm
I also had a classic email yesterday saying the guy was so horny could I not make an exception and see him that evening.

I make it clear I can only work daytime hours.  What about people who live with children/partners/husbands I suppose they all think we live on our own and have nobody in our lives!

I don't have a partner but even so those of us who have families and people to see to how do they expect us to just drop everything and it was only for a blowjob to start with!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 04 August 2017, 03:27:03 pm
Just got a belter of a phonecall from someone who sounded a bit dim. Asked for my location and said he lived just round the corner from me. I said whereabouts and he told me the street name. I said sorry, that's too close. Okay no worries.

Two seconds later he phones me back and says he *really* wants to make love to me.  :-X I said sorry, you're still too close. So then he says what does it matter how close I live to you?

I mean really! Just the thought of bumping into him when I'm out makes me want to hurl.

Oh and by the way, I don't live in a particularly nice area and his street is full of crooks and crims  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mya888 on 04 August 2017, 04:06:17 pm
"what time?"

Only one of the many text messages I've been getting from this guy since yesterday that I've been ignoring yet he still tries and tries..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 05 August 2017, 02:32:31 pm
Email from someone on AW who has been a member for 10 years yet has 0 feedback...Now I don't work weekends and I don't offer anything longer than an hour. I only have the half hour and one hour priced up. My profile is short and concise FFS its only 4 sentences long :FF

would love to see you on sunday for 2 hrs from 1pm yummy bot xx

Looking forward to a yummy fuck

Steve xx077521755**

Twat
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 05 August 2017, 07:08:22 pm
Just laughing at some of the bollocks clients spout.Just been asked if I ever tour Scotland as there isn't many bbws and the ones that exist get fully booked quickly..a quick scan of AW alone produces 66 size 18 and over escorts plus the ladies that will tour there...maybe they are all fully booked when he rings? ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 05 August 2017, 07:14:08 pm
Text just now:

Are your fees the same if I was to come and give your feet the best tongue massage they'll ever get

First of all yes of bloody course  :FF
Second of all YUCK!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 06 August 2017, 04:25:56 am
Quote from: SimplySinful on 05 August 2017, 07:14:08 pm
Text just now:

Are your fees the same if I was to come and give your feet the best tongue massage they'll ever get

First of all yes of bloody course  :FF
Second of all YUCK!

OMG NO!! My fees would TREBLE for that  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NotSoSnowWhite on 06 August 2017, 09:53:06 pm
I've had a guy always wanting to book last minute- I put my 'available now'' on when I am free to take last minute bookings and each time he's contacted me I haven't been available.
I have two young children, it even states in my profile I'm a milf and considering my age is 28 they ain't going to be grown up kids. So this guy has messaged so much and after I told him I wasn't working he would ask me if I could make an acception, always a no, this evening he's done the same again and I replied that I cannot meet him as I am a mother and my profile clearly states my availability. I then got "I could come around 1am when they're asleep. Please babe"  :o

Yes, of course you can come to my home in the middle of the night while my children sleep you complete stranger!

Swiftly blocked. Moron.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 06 August 2017, 10:32:39 pm
Jesus I despair!Just had an email from a potential client asking if he can set up a standing order with me for ?10 a week for 10 weeks as he wants an hour at the end of the 10 weeks and he can't trust himself not to spend it in the meantime..I have no time for such idiots!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lillys0 on 07 August 2017, 03:24:20 am
Can I smoke weed with you babe? Let's get high no thanks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 07 August 2017, 10:25:04 am
After informing someone who found me on Viva street that I do not take bookings via email and that they would need to ring I got this

"got better thing's to do than chase number's of women, they contact me!"

I don't think so
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 07 August 2017, 11:07:01 am
Quote from: nemature on 07 August 2017, 10:25:04 am
After informing someone who found me on Viva street that I do not take bookings via email and that they would need to ring I got this

"got better thing's to do than chase number's of women, they contact me!"

I don't think so

And I suppose he would expect you to pay him too while you're at it  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 07 August 2017, 11:14:14 am
Quote from: nemature on 07 August 2017, 10:25:04 am
After informing someone who found me on Viva street that I do not take bookings via email and that they would need to ring I got this

"got better thing's to do than chase number's of women, they contact me!"

I don't think so

This reminds me of a guy a while back who found me on Friday Ad and told me:

there are easier girls to book and my crime was to ask for a start time and duration  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 07 August 2017, 12:05:08 pm
Quote from: NotSoSnowWhite on 06 August 2017, 09:53:06 pm
I then got "I could come around 1am when they're asleep. Please babe"  :o

Yes, of course you can come to my home in the middle of the night while my children sleep you complete stranger!

Swiftly blocked. Moron.  :FF

I've had similar, only it was from a regular! Told me I know you have your kid as it's school holidays but I could come when they're in bed asleep?

He's not a client anymore. Idiots!

Today's:
Hi - it's a bit difficult explaining cash withdrawals to my partner - would you be interested in having any joinery / diy work done in exchange?
Thanks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HS1978 on 07 August 2017, 01:07:19 pm
email this morning, BB in all holes! Nothing more. I felt like texting back Ok then if I take you to the local gay dogging site and let the men use your holes BB!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 07 August 2017, 02:35:38 pm
I am starting to think I should have stayed in bed today

"You look very dirty in your pics I'm hard thinking off you, would love to come and fuck you but would like to get know you a little more this okay?"

My reply

"No I do not do email ping pong so you can have a wank try someone else"

I am going to lay down in a dark room!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mySecret on 07 August 2017, 02:51:07 pm
Quote from: nemature on 07 August 2017, 02:35:38 pm
I am starting to think I should have stayed in bed today

"You look very dirty in your pics I'm hard thinking off you, would love to come and fuck you but would like to get know you a little more this okay?"

My reply

"No I do not do email ping pong so you can have a wank try someone else"

I am going to lay down in a dark room!

me same! was better stay in the bed! ahah a lot of weird call...`Hi love!` `Hi Babe`...
added some sender in my black email list! Monday mood!   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 07 August 2017, 03:56:35 pm
Quote from: HS1978 on 07 August 2017, 01:07:19 pm
email this morning, BB in all holes! Nothing more. I felt like texting back Ok then if I take you to the local gay dogging site and let the men use your holes BB!

This made me think of golf I now have a image of a bloke laid on his stomach trying to BB all 18 holes on the course

Mania setting in
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 07 August 2017, 07:10:27 pm
Man called and I could not take the call but texted that I had no availability left today. He replied by saying no worries babe but do you do owo?

They see my profile(s) and know I won't answer these questions in a text to an unknown.

He is now blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emily1234 on 07 August 2017, 07:58:58 pm
I got today message like that;
'Babe, if I do test for HIV, can I have sex without?'
Blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 07 August 2017, 08:18:47 pm
Missed a call, sent my usual text regarding availability and website details etc, received a reply I don't understand:

Can do 20 in ??

Any ideas  ??? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 08 August 2017, 12:47:56 pm
"do you do bb and anal"
"no"
How much extra for them then"
"I do not do them no amount of money will tempt me to risk my health"
"Wow ok. Awfully fussy for a prostitute. Do you do scat"

I am so fussy that you are blocked! Oh this week is not going well
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 08 August 2017, 02:24:16 pm
Text received 2.00pm today now I don't normally respond to texts but hes listed as 'easy half hour' and as its quiet I thought what the hell.

Him
2.00 Hi Helen I know I shouldn't text but I'm not in position to call. Are you working today.
Me
2.00 Yes
Him
2.02 Until what time do you work? x
Me
2.02 What time do you want to come over?
Him
2.03 Around 2.30 but it will depend of traffic
Me
2.03Lets say 2.45 then
Him
2.04 Give me 10 minutes and I will confirm
Me
2.05 (thinking wtf) Ok
Him
2.16 Hi Helen I wont be able to make 2.45 this awful meeting is dragging now and I've got a flight to catch at 6pm. Apologies
Me
2.17
(Now regretting using up my texts and time to try and arrange this booking only to end up thinking what a twat) No problem.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 08 August 2017, 02:32:38 pm
Just had a call from a Scottish guy
Him'Hi Helen how are you?
Me..Fine..
Him How do you fancy tying me up nice and tight today?
(This is where I swear to god I don't know what it is but I can mentally see him/hear him/sense him getting his cock out ready for a good old wank)
Me..NO!
Him Eh?
Me..click

I'm seriously thinking of taking the rest of this week off  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mySecret on 08 August 2017, 02:41:47 pm
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

so funny!

a call from a guy that is interest for a duo that i offer with a male partner...
normal question how much is it?
then....how big is his cock? ahahah i just can not resist to smile and joking over the phone for 3 mins...
i said ..i didn t measure it! sorry!  ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 08 August 2017, 02:59:09 pm
Call from an older sounding guy asking if he can come and visit him along with a boy he knows

I say "no I don't see 2 men together unless I've seen them both individually first"

His reply "Well I wouldn't exactly call him a man"   ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RKitten on 08 August 2017, 03:28:00 pm
Quote from: kate_x on 08 August 2017, 02:59:09 pm
Call from an older sounding guy asking if he can come and visit him along with a boy he knows

I say "no I don't see 2 men together unless I've seen them both individually first"

His reply "Well I wouldn't exactly call him a man"   ???

Jeez Louise! Father son booking? I'd run a mile if a guy said something like that to me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 08 August 2017, 08:36:27 pm
Him - hi where are you based?

Me - hi I'm in the ****** area

Him - ok at a hotel?
 
Me - yes

Him - free now to come over?

Me - no , you would need to make a booking in advance

Him - ok I will head over to the area , shall I call when I'm there?

Me - I don't accept short notice bookings. You would need to make a booking in advance via AW.

Him - ok il be in the area in 10 minutes


WTF???!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 09 August 2017, 03:18:45 pm
Right that's the last time I pay for AT. All I get is loads more TWs than normal who can't even read the tagline or stats let alone the majority of the profile.

So far today I've had:

1 No Show
1 who thought my special offer included non GFE bookings (clearly stated)
1 who had 'free time' told me the hotel he was in but didn't follow up
1 who asked if I was free, read my bra size out loud then asked 'when I working till' and didn't like it when I responded with 'I work by appointment only'
1 email saying 'hello gorgeous '

Had enough already.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 09 August 2017, 05:11:35 pm
Had this exchange with someone I've seen once before:

'Would you be able to see me tonight sometime'
'Sure, let me know a time'
'Would. 9 be ok'
'Yes, would you like me to book that for you?'
'What is your address'
'I'm based in x, have I seen you before at this address? Let me know if 9pm is certain for you'
'Ok I have been before'
'So is that yes or no for 9pm?'
'Can I let u know in an hour xx'

He's been doing this for months and it's never materialised into a booking. I finally snapped and told him that he need only get in touch with me once he is certain of a time as it's pointless texting back and forth unless he knows if he can commit or not. Thankfully he responded saying he totally understood. Predictably said he couldn't make 9pm though  ::) I think a lot of these guys just don't realise how annoying they are.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 09 August 2017, 06:14:22 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 09 August 2017, 03:18:45 pm
Right that's the last time I pay for AT. All I get is loads more TWs than normal who can't even read the tagline or stats let alone the majority of the profile.

So far today I've had:

1 No Show
1 who thought my special offer included non GFE bookings (clearly stated)
1 who had 'free time' told me the hotel he was in but didn't follow up
1 who asked if I was free, read my bra size out loud then asked 'when I working till' and didn't like it when I responded with 'I work by appointment only'
1 email saying 'hello gorgeous '

Had enough already.

And I can add to this now, someone who said they were new to escorting, I was extremely friendly and helpful...only for him to cancel via text half an hour later  :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 09 August 2017, 08:22:19 pm
And the last straw as far as TW goes today, this idiot. I even have a FAQ stating I don't do outdoor meets:

Afternoon gorgeous hope you're well! Sorry to dive straight in but had to tell you my fantasy in the hope that you'd make it happen for me..... so I pick you up or we meet outdoors in the rain now with you wearing nothing but a sexy dress, I lay on my back fully clothed and you squat over my face, smothering me and grinding so hard, riding my face until you're done and stand up and walk off back to the car, all without saying a single word, absolutely fucking soaked :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 09 August 2017, 09:58:03 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 09 August 2017, 08:22:19 pm
And the last straw as far as TW goes today, this idiot. I even have a FAQ stating I don't do outdoor meets:

Afternoon gorgeous hope you're well! Sorry to dive straight in but had to tell you my fantasy in the hope that you'd make it happen for me..... so I pick you up or we meet outdoors in the rain now with you wearing nothing but a sexy dress, I lay on my back fully clothed and you squat over my face, smothering me and grinding so hard, riding my face until you're done and stand up and walk off back to the car, all without saying a single word, absolutely fucking soaked :)

There's a facebook group called 'Man Failing at Erotica'. I think a lot of the shite that's sent to us could qualify.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 09 August 2017, 11:47:46 pm
I just recieved a message followed by a picture saying how about you let me cum fuck u hard 2nyt

I replied 'I have a great strap on and would love to use it on you' how does that sound?

He told me that was disgusting and I replied to him imagine how I felt when I saw that vile picture.

Then I blocked him.

Bye idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 10 August 2017, 03:34:00 pm
Hi, are you free?

Please call for a booking.

Okay, before I ring is ?25 okay.

Ignore.

5 minutes later ...

I've been before.

Not at that price twatty  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 10 August 2017, 10:54:58 pm
Text just now: [my name] outcall

That was it, no question mark nothing. Never mind the fact I'm incall only.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 11 August 2017, 10:39:57 am
From someone with only cam FB, 'inactive' profile and email header 'phone chat'

Hi there , would you consider working together doing cam work, or even escorting to the high End market, ?1500 plus clients, basically Iv done it before, I used to work with a girl but she has since got married! ...I still have clients who will pay for 3 some meets, or for me and somebody else to do can work ...let me know if you wish to discuss further as I need to find someone asap ...about me, 39 good looking tall, loves panties and slightly Dom from the miss, with clients south and north west xxxx

You can't make any money without a female escort, I can make money without a so-called male escort.

I'm not configured for cam and have a FAQ specifically addressing working with 'male escorts'  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 11 August 2017, 01:45:53 pm
Someone wanting a 90 min on Monday asks if I can deepthroat.Told him depends on his size he then asked what happens if I push it down your throat..my reply 'You get a slap and the booking ends.Anymore silly questions or shall we both accept that I won't be seeing you on Monday afterall?'...What a dick!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 11 August 2017, 02:17:49 pm
Quote from: nemature on 07 August 2017, 10:25:04 am
After informing someone who found me on Viva street that I do not take bookings via email and that they would need to ring I got this

"got better thing's to do than chase number's of women, they contact me!"

I don't think so

LMAO! Reminds me of that twat I turned down a while ago. He then texted me saying "you stupid loser go get yourself a life!"
That coming from someone desperate to pay for sex on a Friday evening:)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 11 August 2017, 02:21:48 pm
Quote from: nemature on 08 August 2017, 12:47:56 pm
"do you do bb and anal"
"no"
How much extra for them then"
"I do not do them no amount of money will tempt me to risk my health"
"Wow ok. Awfully fussy for a prostitute. Do you do scat"

I am so fussy that you are blocked! Oh this week is not going well

awfully fussy for a prostitute[/]
Brilliant!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 11 August 2017, 02:31:44 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 11 August 2017, 01:45:53 pm
Someone wanting a 90 min on Monday asks if I can deepthroat.Told him depends on his size he then asked what happens if I push it down your throat..my reply 'You get a slap and the booking ends.Anymore silly questions or shall we both accept that I won't be seeing you on Monday afterall?'...What a dick!

Reminds me a bit of an email I received last week. I offer owo but not cim and guy asks if I've ever had anyone cum in my mouth by mistake. I reply no - all guys know when they are about to cum so tell me. He then says he doesn't think he'd be able to do that! I told him to bugger off to someone who offers cim then!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mySecret on 11 August 2017, 03:14:38 pm
 :FF i do not have patience at all!
 ;D when they do like that (a regular)...send an email with time/day, i say yes we can arrange at x for y...
please confirm it
after 1hr
i have an idea..you do strap on, prostaste i may have an idea...
after 1hr
they sending roleplay crazy thing...and fail to confirm!
he wanted a roleplay quite as a dom, ... i am not a dom!

after 3hrs wainting his confirmation and got his fantasy, i sent him an email as i was not available anymore!


i was dreaming my weekend off! i will get it as i deserve! x I am officially off for 3 days! try to do something else than sex! (i am sure i will miss good sex)  ;D :D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 11 August 2017, 04:31:22 pm
Quote from: kate_x on 11 August 2017, 02:31:44 pm
Reminds me a bit of an email I received last week. I offer owo but not cim and guy asks if I've ever had anyone cum in my mouth by mistake. I reply no - all guys know when they are about to cum so tell me. He then says he doesn't think he'd be able to do that! I told him to bugger off to someone who offers cim then!
He did text back and apologised as he realised it was a really stupid thing to ask but I still won't be seeing him.I really can't be bothered with someone so ridiculous and thoughtless..you just more or less asked me if it's ok to push boundaries and possibly hurt me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendall on 11 August 2017, 04:53:20 pm
Quote from: kate_x on 11 August 2017, 02:31:44 pm
Reminds me a bit of an email I received last week. I offer owo but not cim and guy asks if I've ever had anyone cum in my mouth by mistake. I reply no - all guys know when they are about to cum so tell me. He then says he doesn't think he'd be able to do that! I told him to bugger off to someone who offers cim then!

I've had few do this and half joke half serious ask, have to remind them that if I haven't consented it's rape soon shuts them up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 11 August 2017, 06:15:44 pm
Client I haven't met before had booked for 7pm tonight,he cancelled but rebooked for next week.All good.He then follows this up with 'If your free at all come for a coffee,I go to cafe nero,I'll be buying!' ::)
Yep I'm gonna dash over immediately..I can't resist a free cafe nero latte,I don't mind meeting a random bloke for free in public at all! ::)
Even more bizarrely when I informed him I don't meet clients out socially he replied with 'respect'!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 11 August 2017, 10:17:44 pm
How could you resist a Cafe Nero!?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mya888 on 12 August 2017, 10:56:41 am
An email on AW from a guy I've never met.
"I'd love to see you next week, but it's really important for me that you feel comfortable so I'd like to take things slowly. Perhaps we could start off with a few 30 mins appointments with full body massage, no sex. I can offer 50 pounds got those. Looking forward to hear back from you"

Well how considerate of you, I say  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 12 August 2017, 01:25:22 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 11 August 2017, 06:15:44 pm
Client I haven't met before had booked for 7pm tonight,he cancelled but rebooked for next week.All good.He then follows this up with 'If your free at all come for a coffee,I go to cafe nero,I'll be buying!' ::)
Yep I'm gonna dash over immediately..I can't resist a free cafe nero latte,I don't mind meeting a random bloke for free in public at all! ::)
Even more bizarrely when I informed him I don't meet clients out socially he replied with 'respect'!

Silly you, it was his TENTH coffee, the free one and he was willing to give it to you. So generous and you still said no!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 13 August 2017, 06:03:11 pm
Some prick put in a booking request for a 4 hour outcall at 4.30am this morning. I'm not sure how as my availability calendar doesn't cover that time but hey ho.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 13 August 2017, 08:26:18 pm
Along with various other missed calls/texts in the middle of the night Sat...2am, 2.45am 3am etc etc "You free" "you working" etc, a complete fucking deluded twat sent a full face photo of himself looking all relaxed ..Maybe he's trying to tempt me...Don't these guys realise a bundle of cash with my name on would be a much more exciting thing   ;D  Second thoughts even that at stupid O'clock would be annoying lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 13 August 2017, 08:43:57 pm
AW system allows 4 hours bookings to be placed wether you're available or not , aw  thinks that we wouldn't want to miss out on such a big fee whatever the circumstances  :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 13 August 2017, 08:48:03 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 13 August 2017, 08:43:57 pm
AW system allows 4 hours bookings to be placed wether you're available or not , aw  thinks that we wouldn't want to miss out on such a big fee whatever the circumstances  :FF :FF :FF


They can't do it if only 2 hours max is stated can they?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 13 August 2017, 10:37:27 pm
Quote from: katrina on 13 August 2017, 08:48:03 pm

They can't do it if only 2 hours max is stated can they?!

Unfortunately yes. I only go up to 2hrs on my pricing but recently had a guy send a booking for 14 hours  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 13 August 2017, 10:56:22 pm
Quote from: katrina on 13 August 2017, 08:48:03 pm

They can't do it if only 2 hours max is stated can they?!
Yep!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 14 August 2017, 06:10:11 pm
Must be the annual day out for all the local numpties today.Had MrCafeNero cancel for the 2nd time in a row and try and book me for a 9am slot (I already pointed out what is already on my ad the first time he when he tried to book a time 30 mins after I finish,appointments between 11am and 8pm..).
Then several previous timewasters try and contact me,then someone who apparently read my AW profile yet asked me for an overnighter (I don't do and yep make it clear on my ads!).
Then this little gem..Him:'Er hiya...Me:Hiya how can I help? Him:Ok Me:Yes? Him:Is that Maria? Me:Nope you've got the wrong number Him:Oh you just sound like her thought I'd rung her by mistake.Can I book you for Thursday? Me:Well do you actually know who you have rung? Him:Yes Me:(Doubtful)Ok send me a text Thursday morning to confirm.
2 mins later a text comes through 'Hi this is John,I'll confirm for Thursday,What's your name?'
Me:  :FFIt tells you on the ad where you got this number?!?Then some pillock ask how far away I am from Chester, (I'm in Leeds the clue is in my name!)another asking for an outcall (I advertise Incalls only)and someone wanting 9pm tonight!Literallly nobody has even glanced at the writing on my profile.Total bunch of flakey timewasters that I cannot be bothered wasting my time with!
Give me strength today!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 14 August 2017, 07:02:06 pm
For chrissakes  ::)

Email:
Hey sorry if this email may come across as a waste of time but wanted to ask if you were possibly interested in a toyboy.

I understand you're on here to work but just looking for a naughty older women who I can have something a bit more personal with, you look very sexy in your pics and just wondered if you could be interested at all?

Obviously I know you would need to meet me so am happy to come as a paying customer at first, or we could chat or something but what did you think?

Thanks

Yeh right of course you're going to book and pay first, f*** off you timewasting idiot  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 14 August 2017, 07:36:46 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 13 August 2017, 08:43:57 pm
AW system allows 4 hours bookings to be placed wether you're available or not , aw  thinks that we wouldn't want to miss out on such a big fee whatever the circumstances  :FF :FF :FF

Thanks for clarifying that. I hadn't read this and I started a new question in AW Q&A but that explains it. What a stupid system! He put in the request at 03.58 for 04.30! like I'm even going to see that before the next day.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 14 August 2017, 07:37:23 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 13 August 2017, 10:37:27 pm
Unfortunately yes. I only go up to 2hrs on my pricing but recently had a guy send a booking for 14 hours  :FF

Thanks VC and Bibi for clarifying. 14 hours would be ok if they were paying the full hourly rate but the problem is anything over 2 hours they expect a discount  :FF :FF



Anyway my joker of the day who comes for a half hour booking (Not on a regular basis and at my lower rate too!!) he manages to squeeze into this: oral both ways, strap on and sex...texted me asking if I want to 'do a deal' with him allowing me to take photos of me fucking him up the arse  ::)  I politely declined his amazing offer  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 14 August 2017, 07:49:55 pm
I've had this amazing offer today and I'm so proud of my final response.

Email subject line: Fur coat fetish
Him: Can you dom my Wednesday morning
Me: Where do you live? What does your style of domination look like? And what does it have to do with a fur coat??
Him: It turns me on I'm in  peterbrough I like been hogtied and strangled with rope big turn on and like to be made to eat out of dog bowl
Me: Yeah, I don't do any of that and I'm nowhere near Peterborough, sorry.
Him: Will you put me on a dog collar and make me cum on yours boots then
Me: You're barking up the wrong tree, mate.

Barking
BARKING
I'm amazing :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 14 August 2017, 08:46:26 pm
All by text.

I got the perfect offer today. A meet up to shag, not paid for, from someone who thought I was a woman he has always fancied and "wanted a no strings shag." He asked if I was XXX  XXXX and gave me the full names of a woman with the same first name as me.   He kept texting and saying he has always wanted to F  me (not me you understand, this other woman who happens to look similar to me) and would not accept me saying I am not her. I asked where he got my number and he said t'internet. He can only have found my number by looking on aw or websites of escorts.

So he thinks he has discovered a civvy friend who is escorting but still wants a free fukk.  I got fed up with the (at least 15) texts from him so I started to wind him up.  I don't usually do that but was bored so had some fun. It was getting ridiculous so I put his number into social media and there he was/is, along with his wife and family etc. I also very easily found the woman he thinks he was texting and yes she does look quite similar to me but is married and has her family all over the pages. I managed to text one last one hinting that I knew who he was and it still didn't put him off.

If you can follow all of that then good luck because it did my head in. I think he may now be scared I have found who he is but he was stupid enough to tell me this woman's surname and more stupid to have his phone number on social media.

If I was mean spirited or just a downright evil cow I could cause all kinds of bother for him but it is not in my nature and have just logged his number so if he contacts me again I will ignore (which I probably should have done at the outset!)

I need a lie down now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mya888 on 14 August 2017, 09:09:32 pm
Keep on getting emails on AW from a female escort wanting to book me for her boyfriend birthday.
Apart from the fact that she wants to book me for one hour only, when she's and hour and a half drive away from me, she also made it very clear that her boyfriend wants bb, but won't come inside of me.
She clearly doesn't understand the word no.

Also apart from few positive feedbacks, I can see two red feedbacks (dangerous apparently to AW)  but can't actually read them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 14 August 2017, 09:26:53 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 14 August 2017, 07:49:55 pm
I've had this amazing offer today and I'm so proud of my final response.

Email subject line: Fur coat fetish
Him: Can you dom my Wednesday morning
Me: Where do you live? What does your style of domination look like? And what does it have to do with a fur coat??
Him: It turns me on I'm in  peterbrough I like been hogtied and strangled with rope big turn on and like to be made to eat out of dog bowl
Me: Yeah, I don't do any of that and I'm nowhere near Peterborough, sorry.
Him: Will you put me on a dog collar and make me cum on yours boots then
Me: You're barking up the wrong tree, mate.

Barking
BARKING
I'm amazing :D


 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 15 August 2017, 08:02:00 am
Well it is not even 8am and I have already had

"I have been out all night and need sorting out can you help me" - no you are drunk

"I have a big cock is that a problem and can you do anal"- no to both
"well you are in for a treat with the size of mine" - no I am not cos you are not getting a appointment

Oh I hope today improves
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 15 August 2017, 11:46:42 am
Email today from someone who has been an AW member for 8 years he has 2 feedbacks from escorts one a neutral for cancelling and one a negative for not turning up..

Hi there I have a fantasy where a woman holds me captive either tie me up or useing a long chain padlock it to me then to something strong so I can't escape and keep me like that for 5 hours is this something you could do, or if you had an out building or garage you could lock me in to great
 

I'd do it... if he were genuine, if I lived in a house, if I had a shed, if I had a garage, if I offered this service, if I did 5 hour bookings, if I had a chain and a padlock.. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 15 August 2017, 01:41:37 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 15 August 2017, 11:46:42 am
Email today from someone who has been an AW member for 8 years he has 2 feedbacks from escorts one a neutral for cancelling and one a negative for not turning up..

Hi there I have a fantasy where a woman holds me captive either tie me up or useing a long chain padlock it to me then to something strong so I can't escape and keep me like that for 5 hours is this something you could do, or if you had an out building or garage you could lock me in to great
 

I'd do it... if he were genuine, if I lived in a house, if I had a shed, if I had a garage, if I offered this service, if I did 5 hour bookings, if I had a chain and a padlock.. ;D

Please please please I have a huge balcony!!!! Can I lock him out for the whole night???

Could we just hold a convention sit together in a circle and share all this? Thanks MH for making me pee into the only clean PJ pants I had with me:)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 17 August 2017, 07:43:20 am
Just switched my profile to a new area, immediately dickhead messages come in:


Good morning

My name is L** I have joined adult work to hopefully meet some fun open minded ladies who would like to explore my tickling fetish with me.

Your profile really stood out to me because you sound very open minded and also your pictures are amazing!

I was wandering if you were very ticklish?

Also where your most ticklish body part/parts were?

Thank you for taking the time to read my message. I look forward to receiving your response :)

Kind regards xx
 

Yes I know some genuinely have this fetish, but come on, that's timewaster central  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendall on 17 August 2017, 09:27:38 am
I had a guy txt me asking what time girls in Leeds go into the streets
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 17 August 2017, 02:20:27 pm
Got to say I love this thread. Ive been reading it for 3 days and I'm only on page 85 so far.

Ive just had a whatsapp to add on to here. Due to been raped by an Asian guy I no longer see them and it clearly says it on all my adverts.

Asian dude: Fancy a chat some time?
Asian dude: *really tiny dick pic*
Me: Hello, can I ask which site you got my number from?
Asian dude: I cant remember
Me: Did you read my advert fully?
Asian dude: Yes
Me: I suggest you go read it again

10 Min's later....
Asian dude: My wife is white

Why would he think that saying his wife is white would get me to change my own policy?

The mind baffles sometimes with clients
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 17 August 2017, 04:48:32 pm
Hi ther can u booke me in for 7 pleas
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katiexxx on 17 August 2017, 07:21:50 pm
Him: do you do pompoir?

 :o wtf had to google it what does mean before blocking his number

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 17 August 2017, 09:45:53 pm
Quote from: Katiexxx on 17 August 2017, 07:21:50 pm
Him: do you do pompoir?

 :o wtf had to google it what does mean before blocking his number

I had to google it too, it was a new word on me!

I was asked today if he booked me could we share a shower. I said no as my shower is so tiny I can just about fit in there myself and I am average build.  I asked him his build etc and he said "6 footer and 17stones" I asked if he wanted a definite booking and he just said "only if we can share that shower"   I declined him and doubted he was genuine anyway.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 18 August 2017, 09:15:39 am
Hi i read your profile (clearly didnt) and it says you see 2 guys together!
No I don't you are probably looking at somone else profile  :FF
Cuts call blocks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 18 August 2017, 10:40:08 am
Hi sexy babes

Recently joined Adultwork .
Just seen your sexy pictures babeee. Wow you are a very sexy lady mmmmm.

I'm in the area for a few months on work am and looking to meet a sexy lady for regular naughty sex sessions.

I can come to you or we can meet at my hotel. Looking forward to getting hot n dirty with you mmm. You make my cock soooo hard. Mmm

PS. Had a few naughty wanks over your sexy picture, need the real thing Babeee.

Just uploaded my pictures to profle page.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 18 August 2017, 01:17:44 pm
Do you Do Sex yes or no
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 18 August 2017, 03:56:46 pm
Text
I can cum now if u piss on me can u send me your postcode
Sent local postcode for kfc  up the road !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 18 August 2017, 04:23:51 pm
Quote from: kate_x on 18 August 2017, 10:40:08 am
Hi sexy babes

Recently joined Adultwork .
Just seen your sexy pictures babeee. Wow you are a very sexy lady mmmmm.

I'm in the area for a few months on work am and looking to meet a sexy lady for regular naughty sex sessions.

I can come to you or we can meet at my hotel. Looking forward to getting hot n dirty with you mmm. You make my cock soooo hard. Mmm

PS. Had a few naughty wanks over your sexy picture, need the real thing Babeee.

Just uploaded my pictures to profle page.
My skin was crawling whilst reading this...When they write mmmm it makes me feel nauseous.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mya888 on 18 August 2017, 05:56:13 pm
"I've been taking volume pills and the amount of sperm I produce has literally multiplied by about 3-5! Is that something you could cope with? Xx"

I could use some ideas what to reply to that twat, any suggestions?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 18 August 2017, 06:05:01 pm
Quote from: Mya888 on 18 August 2017, 05:56:13 pm
"I've been taking volume pills and the amount of sperm I produce has literally multiplied by about 3-5! Is that something you could cope with? Xx"

I could use some ideas what to reply to that twat, any suggestions?

That would cost with me ?500 when you have the money phone me. :) I would add the smily face too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mya888 on 18 August 2017, 06:13:29 pm
Quote from: meetingdiversity on 18 August 2017, 06:05:01 pm
That would cost with me ?500 when you have the money phone me. :) I would add the smily face too.

Haha thanks for the idea!
I couldn't help myself, so I said something along the lines "multiply my hourly rate x5, thats what it'll cost you to see me, is this something you could cope with?"
Hoping to get a reply :-)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 18 August 2017, 06:32:03 pm
Arrive on the street then say they need to go to the bank how stupid. What planet are they on. A thicko planet retard.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 18 August 2017, 06:33:31 pm
Quote from: Mya888 on 18 August 2017, 06:13:29 pm
Haha thanks for the idea!
I couldn't help myself, so I said something along the lines "multiply my hourly rate x5, thats what it'll cost you to see me, is this something you could cope with?"
Hoping to get a reply :-)

Brilliant that is.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 18 August 2017, 07:36:52 pm
It is great playing the idiots at thier own game it gives me total satisfaction. I bet he didn't have much to say?.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mya888 on 18 August 2017, 07:42:00 pm
Quote from: meetingdiversity on 18 August 2017, 07:36:52 pm
It is great playing the idiots at thier own game it gives me total satisfaction. I bet he didn't have much to say?.


He replied with "Why?"

And send me another message asking if I wouldnt gag on the amount of sperm he has.
 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 19 August 2017, 01:07:13 pm
This idiot thinks he will be the lucky fool to get a reply from me and engage in his wank fest text talk.  Also It is plastered all on my profile I ignore text messages. Plus my profile says the duration of overnight.

TEXT MESSAGE 1: Hi beautiful what do i get if I spend the night with you from 9pm till 9am (I of course ignored)

TEXT MESSAGE 2 : Tell me every thing you enjoy doing more of plus all your extras

Idiots are surely coming out loads today.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 19 August 2017, 01:30:12 pm
Quote from: DynamiteDoll on 19 August 2017, 01:07:13 pm
Tell me every thing you enjoy doing more of

Gardening
Adult colouring books
Treat training my pet rats
Winding up dickheads
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 19 August 2017, 01:33:44 pm
Quote from: DynamiteDoll on 19 August 2017, 01:07:13 pm
Tell me every thing you enjoy doing more of

Home baking
Football
Trepanning
Ice sculpture
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 19 August 2017, 01:56:03 pm
This reminds me of the guy who (after way too much texting and mention of a 9 inch penis - yes I know) asked if I moan.

Me "yeh all the time, about politics, the weather, timewasters"  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bobbisux on 20 August 2017, 10:07:16 am
Just got a call from a guy

Him "Are you available today?"
Me "Yes, what time would do like?"
Him "4 o'clock OK?"
Me "Yes, I'm free then"
Him "Where can we meet?"
Me "Well I can do incall or outcall"
Him "Not on my own so can't be outcall"
Me "OK, Incall in Edinburgh then?"
Him "don't have a car"
Me "Train maybe?"
Him "Too far from the station"
Me "Well it's a bit difficult then isn't it?"
Him "Yes, I'll have a think and ring back, bye"
Me "Bye"

I'm not holding my breath for this one!

Bob

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 20 August 2017, 04:31:24 pm
 Aw email this morning....Hi hun when can you make yourself available for me ?
Adds mobile number  call me ok
Excuse me I am just ignoring that email !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 20 August 2017, 05:08:35 pm
At around 11.30pm coming home from my last booking of the day as I do outcalls only atm.

Him:- hello can you outcall now?
Me:- it's too late now you will have to book another day
Him:- outcall should be open 24 hours a day so give me a booking

Yes well you know I've always hated sleeping and eating, it's obviously overrated if you're a sex worker right? ???


Also my absolute pet hate and regular calls consist of guys trying to book an hour and I have to try and 'impress' them because they might extend. No problems if they are respectful about it I understand that booking get possible extensions if it is discussed but I'm talking about the ones who try and and think they can work me like a puppet because I'm clearly 'needing the money'. I am not desperate and I get guys who are just upfront and just pay two hours so I am not even going to amuse these guys anymore  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 21 August 2017, 01:27:28 pm
Quote from: kate_x on 18 August 2017, 10:40:08 am
Hi sexy babes

Recently joined Adultwork .
Just seen your sexy pictures babeee. Wow you are a very sexy lady mmmmm.

I'm in the area for a few months on work am and looking to meet a sexy lady for regular naughty sex sessions.

I can come to you or we can meet at my hotel. Looking forward to getting hot n dirty with you mmm. You make my cock soooo hard. Mmm

PS. Had a few naughty wanks over your sexy picture, need the real thing Babeee.

Just uploaded my pictures to profle page.

Ive just had that same email lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 21 August 2017, 01:35:07 pm
So just got offered this delightful role play...

I would love to be an intruder and you disturb me. You get pretend knocked out in your secretary outfit. I carry you to the bedroom where I lick you out and then shag you while you are out cold xo

As im ill in bed i decided to reply to the email asking how much he was prepared to pay me, his reply.... ?500

Yeah cos ?500 is worth me taking the risk of you knocking me out for real!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 21 August 2017, 03:23:05 pm
Him:- hi, would you like to go shopping with me?
(Being open minded)Me:-what kind of shopping?
Him:-I'm sure u can think of something x
Me:- well I need milk, sanitary pads and bread if you're going.
Him:anything else?
Me:- welll I could give you a full shopping list but I'm busy taking appointments from paying customers.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 21 August 2017, 05:59:38 pm
Checking my work emails after a weekend away:

'Hi
adress &phnumber'

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 22 August 2017, 09:35:37 am
Phone call this morning

Idiot: Hello Ive just seen your ad on *escort page i don't use*
me: I don't advertise on *escort page i don't use*
Idiot: oh sorry i meant *escort page i do use*
Me: OK would you like to make a booking?
Idiot: NO YOU FAT COW! *hangs up*

Yeah thanks mate like this sexy BBW hasn't had that one before!

I recon he was waiting for me to put my work phone on to make that call.... what a waste of 30 seconds and call minutes for him lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katiexxx on 22 August 2017, 12:41:53 pm
Quote from: Alison381 on 22 August 2017, 09:35:37 am
Phone call this morning

Idiot: Hello Ive just seen your ad on *escort page i don't use*
me: I don't advertise on *escort page i don't use*
Idiot: oh sorry i meant *escort page i do use*
Me: OK would you like to make a booking?
Idiot: NO YOU FAT COW! *hangs up*

Yeah thanks mate like this sexy BBW hasn't had that one before!


I recon he was waiting for me to put my work phone on to make that call.... what a waste of 30 seconds and call minutes for him lol



Is it school holidays as they seem to be crawling out the woodwork. :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 22 August 2017, 02:21:43 pm
Yes it is school holidays, and yes they are!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 22 August 2017, 02:22:07 pm
"got anything"

 :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 22 August 2017, 02:22:49 pm
Quote from: Marianne on 22 August 2017, 02:22:07 pm
"got anything"

 :FF :FF :FF

Chlamydia.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 22 August 2017, 06:12:51 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 22 August 2017, 02:22:49 pm
Chlamydia.

 ;D I know, me and my lodger made a game out of it - had a right list going on! I've stopped responding though as I don't want to encourage them!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LusciousCurves on 22 August 2017, 08:05:24 pm
When potential clients ask for face/body photos before meeting, even though they have seen photos of my body on various profiles. I don't show face photos for security/ discretionary reasons.
Also the ones that when told to book if they want to meet, instead of text/email ping pong, message, saying "I want to get to know you before meeting!" Then give a sob story of various reasons why such as :- they have had bad experiences before/ are really nervous about meeting/ bait and switch/mugged!
GRRRR!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RKitten on 23 August 2017, 03:07:33 am
Email: I want you to give me a good hard spanking. I will pay you ?50.

Piss off, even when I was a no sex switch, a spanking was ?150 minimum. Can't stand clients who think they can dictate rates.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 23 August 2017, 10:09:34 am
Quote from: LusciousCurves on 22 August 2017, 08:05:24 pm
When potential clients ask for face/body photos before meeting, even though they have seen photos of my body on various profiles. I don't show face photos for security/ discretionary reasons.
Also the ones that when told to book if they want to meet, instead of text/email ping pong, message, saying "I want to get to know you before meeting!" Then give a sob story of various reasons why such as :- they have had bad experiences before/ are really nervous about meeting/ bait and switch/mugged!
GRRRR!

I don't show my face on any of my profiles as I like my discretion.

I got one guy saying I must be a dog then.... I just replied saying that all the other clients who have paid me certainly don't think so  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 23 August 2017, 12:49:14 pm
Late last night just as I was abouts to turn my work phone off I had this delightful whatsapp message exchange.

"Hi Babe" (my back was already up as I hate clients calling me that!)
"I'm sorry I don't take bookings via whatsapp, you need to call me"
"I'm trying to be quite as my girlfriend is in the house, I can video call you though. I don't need to see you"
"if you can video call me you can voice call me. As its outside my working hours in in a "I'm not letting potential clients see me" mood. If you don't voice call me I wont be answering as I'm currently watching South Park and eating Ben n Jerry's" (in my scruffy pajamas with my boyfriend next to me too lol)
"I have no credit, you can cover the camera if you like"
By this point I was rather annoyed as I knew what he was up to!
"ff go on then"
Whatsapp video call comes in so I answer with my finger over my camera and low and behold I'm greeted with a tiny cock been wanked. My other half bursts out laughing so I hang up.

2 mins later another whatsapp
"are you a man? I heard male laughter"
"No but my boyfriend is.... he said with a cock that small you shouldn't be showing it off"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 23 August 2017, 12:54:56 pm
Quote from: Marianne on 22 August 2017, 02:22:07 pm
"got anything"

 :FF :FF :FF

Yes a nice big tub of Ben n Jerrys which im going to eat all to myself thanks  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 23 August 2017, 01:50:56 pm
Quote from: Alison381 on 23 August 2017, 12:49:14 pm
Late last night just as I was abouts to turn my work phone off I had this delightful whatsapp message exchange.

"Hi Babe" (my back was already up as I hate clients calling me that!)
"I'm sorry I don't take bookings via whatsapp, you need to call me"
"I'm trying to be quite as my girlfriend is in the house, I can video call you though. I don't need to see you"
"if you can video call me you can voice call me. As its outside my working hours in in a "I'm not letting potential clients see me" mood. If you don't voice call me I wont be answering as I'm currently watching South Park and eating Ben n Jerry's" (in my scruffy pajamas with my boyfriend next to me too lol)
"I have no credit, you can cover the camera if you like"
By this point I was rather annoyed as I knew what he was up to!
"ff go on then"
Whatsapp video call comes in so I answer with my finger over my camera and low and behold I'm greeted with a tiny cock been wanked. My other half bursts out laughing so I hang up.

2 mins later another whatsapp
"are you a man? I heard male laughter"
"No but my boyfriend is.... he said with a cock that small you shouldn't be showing it off"

 :D :D :D :D

Although small cock humiliation might have been what the freeloader was looking for...LOL it was your boyf who gave it  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 23 August 2017, 04:32:12 pm
I'm taking bets on whether this guy will show...

Phoned this morning asking for an evening booking. Claimed to be a GP, asked some questions that were only just on the right side of what I answer. Then as usual I asked for confirmation at a set time at which point he blethered about how marvellous I was and for that reason he'd cancelled his last two patients!

I immediately thought two things - (a) what 'GP' would do that and (b) if he was a GP how utterly unprofessional!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 23 August 2017, 04:36:56 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 23 August 2017, 04:32:12 pm
I'm taking bets on whether this guy will show...

Phoned this morning asking for an evening booking. Claimed to be a GP, asked some questions that were only just on the right side of what I answer. Then as usual I asked for confirmation at a set time at which point he blethered about how marvellous I was and for that reason he'd cancelled his last two patients!

I immediately thought two things - (a) what 'GP' would do that and (b) if he was a GP how utterly unprofessional!

I'm betting a no show, and also guarantee he's not a GP!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 23 August 2017, 05:29:09 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 23 August 2017, 04:36:56 pm
I'm betting a no show, and also guarantee he's not a GP!

Mmm he just phoned to confirm nearly 2 hours early, repeated one of the questions and asked if he could come earlier, but only 15/30 minutes   ::)

He also tried to engage in conversation, how was my day blah blah as if we were friends. Anyway asked him to text when he was leaving so we shall see...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 23 August 2017, 06:51:48 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 23 August 2017, 01:50:56 pm
:D :D :D :D

Although small cock humiliation might have been what the freeloader was looking for...LOL it was your boyf who gave it  ;D

I do have giving humiliation on my adverts.... Maybe I should change it to "my boyfriend will humiliate you if you video call me waving a small cock around when we are having our us time"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 23 August 2017, 08:05:51 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 23 August 2017, 04:32:12 pm
I'm taking bets on whether this guy will show...

Phoned this morning asking for an evening booking. Claimed to be a GP, asked some questions that were only just on the right side of what I answer. Then as usual I asked for confirmation at a set time at which point he blethered about how marvellous I was and for that reason he'd cancelled his last two patients!

I immediately thought two things - (a) what 'GP' would do that and (b) if he was a GP how utterly unprofessional!

He did show up, he is a GP, but it was a seriously strange booking which totally wierded me out.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 23 August 2017, 09:15:26 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 23 August 2017, 08:05:51 pm
He did show up, he is a GP, but it was a seriously strange booking which totally wierded me out.

Wow id have put money on him not showing
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 24 August 2017, 07:13:08 pm
Phone call that comes up as 'Poss phone wanker' but I decide to answer
Me..(A very curt) Yes?
Him..I've seen your advert and I was wond....
Me (cutting him off) I've told you everything already!
Him..What?
Me..(Still curt) We've spoken, I've already given you my details, you obviously don't remember, I'm not going through it all again!
Him..Errr..are you sure?
Me..Certain!
Me..Bye
Click.

Give it a couple of months and he will be calling back again.
Years ago when it cost them 50p a minute to call you there was a lot less of this BS.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 24 August 2017, 08:27:15 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 24 August 2017, 07:13:08 pm
Phone call that comes up as 'Poss phone wanker' but I decide to answer
Me..(A very curt) Yes?
Him..I've seen your advert and I was wond....
Me (cutting him off) I've told you everything already!
Him..What?
Me..(Still curt) We've spoken, I've already given you my details, you obviously don't remember, I'm not going through it all again!
Him..Errr..are you sure?
Me..Certain!
Me..Bye
Click.

Give it a couple of months and he will be calling back again.
Years ago when it cost them 50p a minute to call you there was a lot less of this BS.

I have thought this so many times. When fantastic phone package deals became the norm it was great for value but disastrous for all those idiots who sit down and call/text sps one after the other.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 26 August 2017, 04:55:01 pm
I have been left speechless, no easy feat.

Chap yesterday rings for an appt today, cannot give definately time till today, rings today, so I think HURRAH he's got a time.....no he thinks tomorrow due to work...but wait then he asks again about today, I say I've got plans, he tries to question me, I cut him off telling him to contact me by tonight if he wishes to see me tomorrow.

I decide he's a TW and block. I'm proved right as later on I check my blocked text and receive a gem along the lines of:

I was just asking if you were going to X because I thought you could give me a lift back

Presumably for a booking  ???  NOT
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Xkandpx on 27 August 2017, 04:10:02 pm
Hi were new to this forum and escorting generally. We work as a couple (a real couple as well) just want to say thanks for this post. We both startee reading it at 8am this morning and asside for a break for the f1 we have been in stitches all day. We honestly thought we were doing somthing wrong but we now see that the exact same people have messaged others the same. And keep up the good work with the stories

P & K
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 29 August 2017, 03:44:15 pm
Received this gem of a text couple of days ago timed at 01.22  ::)


Hello my name is M***** we just opened an escorting agency's. We are here to offer you a job offer that can change your lifestyle and life for good and for better. We are offering the right escort a chance of a life time. Here are the Escorting prices 1 hour ?245 and 2 hours ?345 and 3 hours ?445 and 4 ?545 and 5 hours ?645 and for overnight is ?2,590 you be getting paid cash upfront from the clients and you be giving us a cut of ?80 for each client you see and for an overnight the cut is ?250. For those who are interested message back with your name and age. And for the clients who pay that much money are the rich clients coming in and out. For those who are interested in this job offer say your name and age please. Both incalls and outcalls to hotels for those who just want to do incalls we can send clients to you to your house or apartment. We are based in Birmingham.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 29 August 2017, 07:10:07 pm
Him - hey do you do OWO?

Me - no sorry

Him - ok do you do CIM and facials ?



Seriously?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 29 August 2017, 08:13:08 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 29 August 2017, 03:44:15 pm
Received this gem of a text couple of days ago timed at 01.22  ::)


Hello my name is M***** we just opened an escorting agency's. We are here to offer you a job offer that can change your lifestyle and life for good and for better. We are offering the right escort a chance of a life time. Here are the Escorting prices 1 hour ?245 and 2 hours ?345 and 3 hours ?445 and 4 ?545 and 5 hours ?645 and for overnight is ?2,590 you be getting paid cash upfront from the clients and you be giving us a cut of ?80 for each client you see and for an overnight the cut is ?250. For those who are interested message back with your name and age. And for the clients who pay that much money are the rich clients coming in and out. For those who are interested in this job offer say your name and age please. Both incalls and outcalls to hotels for those who just want to do incalls we can send clients to you to your house or apartment. We are based in Birmingham.

I also received this on the 28th at 01.38  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jo-jo on 30 August 2017, 10:47:18 pm
Quote from: LusciousCurves on 22 August 2017, 08:05:24 pm
When potential clients ask for face/body photos before meeting, even though they have seen photos of my body on various profiles. I don't show face photos for security/ discretionary reasons.
Also the ones that when told to book if they want to meet, instead of text/email ping pong, message, saying "I want to get to know you before meeting!" Then give a sob story of various reasons why such as :- they have had bad experiences before/ are really nervous about meeting/ bait and switch/mugged!
GRRRR!

Have had loads of this ^^^^

client: are those your pics?

me: yes

client: can you send me one with your face?

me: no, my face is blurred for my privacy

client: is it ok if i come round to say hello so i can see your face then decide if i want to booking? ive had bad experience before (etc etc goes onto narrate his bad experience.)

me: come to say hello then decide ??? no. sorry. bye.

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 30 August 2017, 11:12:31 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 29 August 2017, 03:44:15 pm
Received this gem of a text couple of days ago timed at 01.22  ::)


Hello my name is M***** we just opened an escorting agency's. We are here to offer you a job offer that can change your lifestyle and life for good and for better. We are offering the right escort a chance of a life time. Here are the Escorting prices 1 hour ?245 and 2 hours ?345 and 3 hours ?445 and 4 ?545 and 5 hours ?645 and for overnight is ?2,590 you be getting paid cash upfront from the clients and you be giving us a cut of ?80 for each client you see and for an overnight the cut is ?250. For those who are interested message back with your name and age. And for the clients who pay that much money are the rich clients coming in and out. For those who are interested in this job offer say your name and age please. Both incalls and outcalls to hotels for those who just want to do incalls we can send clients to you to your house or apartment. We are based in Birmingham.

Oh I had that too :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 30 August 2017, 11:24:46 pm
Quote from: kate_x on 18 August 2017, 10:40:08 am
Hi sexy babes

Recently joined Adultwork .
Just seen your sexy pictures babeee. Wow you are a very sexy lady mmmmm.

I'm in the area for a few months on work am and looking to meet a sexy lady for regular naughty sex sessions.

I can come to you or we can meet at my hotel. Looking forward to getting hot n dirty with you mmm. You make my cock soooo hard. Mmm

PS. Had a few naughty wanks over your sexy picture, need the real thing Babeee.

Just uploaded my pictures to profle page.

Lol he must travel a lot, poor thing. Or at least his copy-paste does.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 30 August 2017, 11:31:53 pm
Quote from: Katiexxx on 17 August 2017, 07:21:50 pm
Him: do you do pompoir?

 :o wtf had to google it what does mean before blocking his number

Well I had to google it too:)

Pompoir (also known as "playing the flute", and "the Singapore grip" ) is a sexual technique in which the woman uses her vaginal muscles to stimulate the man's penis.[1][2][3][4][5] Both partners remain still, and the woman strokes the man's erection by rhythmic, rippling pulses of the pubococcygeus muscles, so this practice is best performed in a woman on top position.

Hope I'm allowed that little Wikipedia note:)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 31 August 2017, 09:27:18 am
Him: hello, how much for a massage
me: I don't provide massages
him: OK what else do you do?
me: all my services are listed on my advert
him: can I book a bareback session?
me: where on my advert does it say I do bareback?!
him: it doesn't but all the other escorts in *area i live in* do bareback
me: goodbye *hangs up*

2 mins later text message from same guy....
Id recommend you start providing bareback or you wont get any bookings from me


Like id want any bookings from him lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 31 August 2017, 09:56:57 am
Quote from: Alison381 on 31 August 2017, 09:27:18 am
2 mins later text message from same guy....
Id recommend you start providing bareback or you wont get any bookings from me

Classic  ::) Jesus what planet are these guys on
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 31 August 2017, 10:01:39 am
Quote from: SimplySinful on 31 August 2017, 09:56:57 am
Classic  ::) Jesus what planet are these guys on

He obviously must be the only real punter in my area so i must do bareback or I wont earn any money  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 31 August 2017, 12:22:27 pm
Him:- want to meet in the disabled loo in *local pub in my area*
Me:- No, it's not discreet or at all sanitary. If this is something you are willing to do I can't even suggest an incall meet.

Not sure about you guys but in reality I'd love to share even more bodily fluids somewhere where about a thousand people have had the s**ts and puked up everywhere one time or another  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 31 August 2017, 04:56:15 pm
Quote from: Alison381 on 31 August 2017, 10:01:39 am
He obviously must be the only real punter in my area so i must do bareback or I wont earn any money  ;D
Ya ha ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lalalondon on 31 August 2017, 06:14:20 pm
Nott sure this is the right thread, but it did make me laugh!


Evening, how are you?? Been up to much?

A bit weird I know, but I'm looking to be in an open relationship (where only she has other guys and I don't see anyone else) I'm not the clingy, controlling, possessive, insecure type. I absolutely love knowing that my partner (when I have one) is having fun and enjoying herself. I find it so hot!

I like someone who is open minded, kinky, naughty, cheeky, flirtatious, loves lots of banter, lots of laughs and good times together. Dating sites are full of stuffy, snotty nosed people and that is just not for me.

I got some face pics on here, have a look. If you want to chat add me on like bla bla my number is bla bla.

Scott xx

I had no idea that adultwork was also a dating site!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 31 August 2017, 09:04:22 pm
10:54 Hi u free today to bj or punish me in private [his name] from [town]
10:54 Will u bj or punish me
11:17 Hi will u bj or punish me [his name] from [town]
12:43 Hi u free to bj or punish me [his name] from [town]
12:43 Will u bj or punish me

Tempted to reply "Sorry, I didn't catch that, what did you want?" but decided not to waste my free text allowance!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 31 August 2017, 11:43:24 pm
Texts from a knobhead
Hi can you send me your postcode so I can see if I can come over tonight?(This was at 6:53pm,I was in a booking and was finishing at 8pm as I advertise I do every work day,so it was ignored when I saw it at 7:45)
He then texts 'Please' which I ignored.
He then texts an hour later whittering about how he is sorry he didn't introduce himself.I replied back and pointed out my working hours and location details so he doesn't need a postcode until he actually makes an appointment and that I am next around on Monday.
He then replies saying he was just on the bus passing through and he'll have to check on Sunday cos he has a gf...Oh just fuck off imbecile!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sherbet_dab on 01 September 2017, 01:53:45 pm
Quote from: Lululondon on 31 August 2017, 06:14:20 pm
Nott sure this is the right thread, but it did make me laugh!


Evening, how are you?? Been up to much?

A bit weird I know, but I'm looking to be in an open relationship (where only she has other guys and I don't see anyone else) I'm not the clingy, controlling, possessive, insecure type. I absolutely love knowing that my partner (when I have one) is having fun and enjoying herself. I find it so hot!

I like someone who is open minded, kinky, naughty, cheeky, flirtatious, loves lots of banter, lots of laughs and good times together. Dating sites are full of stuffy, snotty nosed people and that is just not for me.

I got some face pics on here, have a look. If you want to chat add me on like bla bla my number is bla bla.

Scott xx

I had no idea that adultwork was also a dating site!

Yep, I had this one last week too  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 01 September 2017, 01:55:24 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 31 August 2017, 11:43:24 pm
Texts from a knobhead
Hi can you send me your postcode so I can see if I can come over tonight?(This was at 6:53pm,I was in a booking and was finishing at 8pm as I advertise I do every work day,so it was ignored when I saw it at 7:45)
He then texts 'Please' which I ignored.
He then texts an hour later whittering about how he is sorry he didn't introduce himself.I replied back and pointed out my working hours and location details so he doesn't need a postcode until he actually makes an appointment and that I am next around on Monday.
He then replies saying he was just on the bus passing through and he'll have to check on Sunday cos he has a gf...Oh just fuck off imbecile!

Oh the ones that are 'passing through' >:(

I get ones phoning like that, despite my plastering everywhere minimum 1 hr notice I still get the ...I will be in X in 15 minutes, can I see you?

NO  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 01 September 2017, 04:57:01 pm
Quote from: Lady_G on 01 September 2017, 01:53:45 pm
Yep, I had this one last week too  :D
Got this too, I advised he go visit a sugar daddy website and leave us lady's alone!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 01 September 2017, 06:00:33 pm
I just had someone ring up asking to see me with 10 minutes notice  :FF :FF

I actually said to him no way that's ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 02 September 2017, 08:52:33 am
Quote from: SimplySinful on 01 September 2017, 06:00:33 pm
I just had someone ring up asking to see me with 10 minutes notice  :FF :FF

I actually said to him no way that's ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous

Had something similar this morning. He said he is ten mins away from my location (7.10am) and wanted a two hour booking. I start at nine but wake up at seven to get ready. Give me a chance to have my cherrios this morning at least  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 02 September 2017, 11:37:35 am
woke up to this corker of a text..

Quote
hey hen u up 4 gettin pumped
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katiexxx on 02 September 2017, 12:42:00 pm

I have just read your page on AW and you sound (and look) lovely. I was hoping there would be a chance to meet you for a couple of hours during this coming week.

I am not looking for anything 'special', just a nice time in your company, with some 'fun' added in - We could always have a little meal or go to the restaurant in between any 'sexy part' to have a meal or drink. I am at the (his location) - just to give you some idea of distance.

I am not too sure exactly where you are but, If you want to come during the day we could always have a massage in the Spa as well, which is attached to the Hotel and does look very nice. Just let me know and I can book this if you wish. I am able to collect you, but only if you wish to ride as a pillon on my BMW R1200 RT - which is a very comfortable touring motorcycle. I love it.... LOL!

I look forward to hearing from you

Take care

So exiting.... :o Love copy & paste emails..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lillys0 on 02 September 2017, 02:46:19 pm
Had the weirdest phone call ever "Hiya me and my wealthy clients like to pay to watch girls fight" intrigued I asked what sort of fighting thinking it might be naked play wrestling or mud wrestling he replies "punching each other in the face" wtf is wrong with some people ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 02 September 2017, 06:47:59 pm
Him:- hi mistress, I want to be your little (skin colour reference) (racial slur in capitals) foot slave dog today?
Me:-bloody hell.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 02 September 2017, 08:04:18 pm
A call around 5pm today:
Him: Are you around?
Me: OH MY GOD!!!! I'm sooo glad you're asking!!!! I was worried you would never call!!!! Yeah!!!! I'm totally around and ready!!!!

He just hung up on me  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 02 September 2017, 08:15:23 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 02 September 2017, 08:04:18 pm
A call around 5pm today:
Him: Are you around?
Me: OH MY GOD!!!! I'm sooo glad you're asking!!!! I was worried you would never call!!!! Yeah!!!! I'm totally around and ready!!!!

He just hung up on me  ???


Brilliant!!! I've been saying to the ignorant cunts who keep trying to book me at very short notice at weekends "NO sorry I'm already booked and he's due to arrive at (the time they ask for) by somebody who BOOKED ME IN ADVANCE AS IT SAYS ON MY PROFILE!!  :FF


Your reply is sooooo much more fun lol  ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 02 September 2017, 08:24:44 pm
Quote from: katrina on 02 September 2017, 08:15:23 pm

Brilliant!!! I've been saying to the ignorant cunts who keep trying to book me at very short notice at weekends "NO sorry I'm already booked and he's due to arrive at (the time they ask for) by somebody who BOOKED ME IN ADVANCE AS IT SAYS ON MY PROFILE!!  :FF


Your reply is sooooo much more fun lol  ;D ;D

Ah well (and true story) the last time someone rang and asked was I 'around'.  I said No I'm a square

Couldn't help myself.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 02 September 2017, 08:29:29 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 02 September 2017, 08:24:44 pm
Ah well (and true story) the last time someone rang and asked was I 'around'.  I said No I'm a square

Couldn't help myself.

that's a good one! I'm saving it for my next "around" twat!
Ps: are you sure he understood the joke though?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 02 September 2017, 08:38:46 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 02 September 2017, 08:29:29 pm
that's a good one! I'm saving it for my next "around" twat!
Ps: are you sure he understood the joke though?

Oh yes and even apologised, ha! Not that I was gonna see him after that however...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 02 September 2017, 08:42:29 pm
Please someone give me a funny reply to the twat who has just texted telling me how sexy I am and am I 'free next week'...(My full availability is displayed on all my ads)  ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 02 September 2017, 08:56:29 pm
Quote from: katrina on 02 September 2017, 08:42:29 pm
Please someone give me a funny reply to the twat who has just texted telling me how sexy I am and am I 'free next week'...(My full availability is displayed on all my ads)  ::) ::) ::)

How about "Im never free however my rates are...."?

Thats my go to reply for they "are you free?" texts
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 02 September 2017, 09:01:08 pm
My go-to is 'Who is this and why are you texting my husband?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 02 September 2017, 09:31:10 pm
I just wish I had a list of 'funny answers' as generally speaking I only think of them after the call has ended...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 02 September 2017, 09:48:54 pm
Email exchange tonight

Impatient tw*t: How much?

Half an hour later: I'm STILL waiting on your reply. You obviously aren't a real escort if you aren't replying to me!!
Me: Sorry I was too busy been a real escort to reply to your message straight away. Please be assured that next time I will stop my client and reply instantly to prove to you I'm genuine.

SMH
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 03 September 2017, 12:48:52 am
Since swooping phones from a iPhone to a android I have an auto text responder

So when I go to bed at night I have the response Sorry I can't take your call . I'm busy doing something important called Sleeping so call back after 10am
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 03 September 2017, 04:25:18 am
Quote from: ParisB on 03 September 2017, 12:48:52 am
Since swooping phones from a iPhone to a android I have an auto text responder

So when I go to bed at night I have the response Sorry I can't take your call . I'm busy doing something important called Sleeping so call back after 10am

Hahahah I am stealing this.

Tonight I had

Get a job you fucking looser (text)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 03 September 2017, 09:07:59 am
Quote from: Alison381 on 02 September 2017, 09:48:54 pm
Email exchange tonight

Impatient tw*t: How much?

Half an hour later: I'm STILL waiting on your reply. You obviously aren't a real escort if you aren't replying to me!!
Me: Sorry I was too busy been a real escort to reply to your message straight away. Please be assured that next time I will stop my client and reply instantly to prove to you I'm genuine.

SMH

I've been thinking bout getting someone to answer my calls but then people would also complain that it's not -you- they are talking to (to be fair I prefer being in control of calls anyway) sooo I scrap heaped that idea as I'd prefer a more patient clientele! You can't make everybody happy so I think it's best that I'm just happy and see who falls in with that :)

In line with that I had a guy call me and ask me if who he was talking to was real, I said yes of course this is me, it's (my work name). He said I sounded to nice and polite to be a SW. not sure wether to be complimented to offended. I proceeded to say well yes this is me. -line cuts out-

Going to adopt a new phone mantra; THIS IS (working name) YOU SHLAAG GIVE UZ YER MAAAAHNY!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 03 September 2017, 09:59:16 am
Also just received this:-

Him:-Would you try something different?
Me:- like what?
Him:-would you try a threesome with me and my dog and I'll pay extra?
Me:- -stunned horror-
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 03 September 2017, 10:17:43 am
Quote from: Shwiftysquancher91 on 03 September 2017, 09:07:59 am
I've been thinking bout getting someone to answer my calls but then people would also complain that it's not -you- they are talking to (to be fair I prefer being in control of calls anyway) sooo I scrap heaped that idea as I'd prefer a more patient clientele! You can't make everybody happy so I think it's best that I'm just happy and see who falls in with that :)

In line with that I had a guy call me and ask me if who he was talking to was real, I said yes of course this is me, it's (my work name). He said I sounded to nice and polite to be a SW. not sure wether to be complimented to offended. I proceeded to say well yes this is me. -line cuts out-

Going to adopt a new phone mantra; THIS IS (working name) YOU SHLAAG GIVE UZ YER MAAAAHNY!

Im so stealing this  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 03 September 2017, 10:23:42 am
Just woke up to this on whatsapp....

Him: any chance of a freebee?
Me: excuse me? I dont do freebees however i will charge you *my rate per hour*
Him: *sends dick pick* you sure?
Me: hahahaha what do you want me to do with that? use it as a tooth pick?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 03 September 2017, 04:25:05 pm
Quote from: Shwiftysquancher91 on 03 September 2017, 09:59:16 am
Also just received this:-

Him:-Would you try something different?
Me:- like what?
Him:-would you try a threesome with me and my dog and I'll pay extra?
Me:- -stunned horror-
I'd be tempted to reply that this isn't different it's illegal and disgusting and I'll be passing on your number and texts to the police and rspca.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 03 September 2017, 04:26:44 pm
Quote from: Alison381 on 03 September 2017, 10:23:42 am
Just woke up to this on whatsapp....

Him: any chance of a freebee?
Me: excuse me? I dont do freebees however i will charge you *my rate per hour*
Him: *sends dick pick* you sure?
Me: hahahaha what do you want me to do with that? use it as a tooth pick?
My go to answer on getting dickpics is either 'Ewww fucking hell have you seen a doctor about that?' Or 'Awww it's like a penis only smaller...'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 03 September 2017, 05:21:33 pm
Quote from: ParisB on 03 September 2017, 12:48:52 am
Since swooping phones from a iPhone to a android I have an auto text responder

So when I go to bed at night I have the response Sorry I can't take your call . I'm busy doing something important called Sleeping so call back after 10am

I have the same however it sends an outomated reply past 12pm saying GO TO BED!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 03 September 2017, 05:25:14 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 03 September 2017, 04:26:44 pm
My go to answer on getting dickpics is either 'Ewww fucking hell have you seen a doctor about that?' Or 'Awww it's like a penis only smaller...'

 ;D I am stealing that one!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 03 September 2017, 06:04:29 pm
Oh my god  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 04 September 2017, 10:15:18 am
Hi you do anal sex not tax me please

What does this even mean  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 04 September 2017, 10:48:58 am
Quote from: SimplySinful on 04 September 2017, 10:15:18 am
Hi you do anal sex not tax me please

What does this even mean  ???

Maybe he wants you to add tax on to your rate for his poor grammar lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 04 September 2017, 11:16:19 am
Quote from: Lalalondon on 31 August 2017, 06:14:20 pm
Nott sure this is the right thread, but it did make me laugh!


Evening, how are you?? Been up to much?

A bit weird I know, but I'm looking to be in an open relationship (where only she has other guys and I don't see anyone else) I'm not the clingy, controlling, possessive, insecure type. I absolutely love knowing that my partner (when I have one) is having fun and enjoying herself. I find it so hot!

I like someone who is open minded, kinky, naughty, cheeky, flirtatious, loves lots of banter, lots of laughs and good times together. Dating sites are full of stuffy, snotty nosed people and that is just not for me.

I got some face pics on here, have a look. If you want to chat add me on like bla bla my number is bla bla.

Scott xx

I had no idea that adultwork was also a dating site!

If this is the same 'Scott' he has been doing the rounds on AW for YEARS! Obviously he hasn't twigged his technique isn't working on escorts!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 04 September 2017, 11:43:38 am
Message on aw
"hey sexy u ok ? 

hey sexy are you available for a outcall tonight to my flat in m**********h town babe *** ***, can you ring me babe as I have no txts or minutes untill the 16th I only have Internet, me you and my monster cock will have loads of fun babe, that's if you can handle my 10inch monster ;) **his number** xxx "

My reply
"I do not ring or text potential clients they ring me.
If you cannot afford a bolt on to buy more minutes you cannot afford me and I do not do out calls unless it is to a hotel"

His reply
"I'm on contract babe and my bill cost enough I have my own business and a hell of a lot of money I chose you babe cause your sexy as hell I'll book a hotel then and would u come ther ?"

Mine
I would also need you to put a booking request through on aw.

I would only go to a hotel if you booked it gave me the name it is booked in and messaged me when you are there. I would then phone the hotel and ask to be put through to your room and once I speak to you at the hotel I would travel.
I am on a contract as well and you can buy bundles of minutes and texts for around ?5 not a lot of money if you already have a business and have loads of money"

They must think we are all thick and will fall for their bullshit





Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: meetingdiversity on 04 September 2017, 12:16:49 pm
Quote from: Shwiftysquancher91 on 03 September 2017, 09:59:16 am
Also just received this:-

Him:-Would you try something different?
Me:- like what?
Him:-would you try a threesome with me and my dog and I'll pay extra?
Me:- -stunned horror-

Vile some clients should be locked up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 04 September 2017, 12:19:03 pm
Quote from: Shwiftysquancher91 on 03 September 2017, 09:59:16 am
Also just received this:-

Him:-Would you try something different?
Me:- like what?
Him:-would you try a threesome with me and my dog and I'll pay extra?
Me:- -stunned horror-

Oh god I missed this it is so wrong
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 04 September 2017, 01:35:50 pm
For dick pics I've replied "OMG, what's wrong with it?! I'd see a dr if I were you!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 04 September 2017, 04:03:29 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 04 September 2017, 01:35:50 pm
For dick pics I've replied "OMG, what's wrong with it?! I'd see a dr if I were you!"


I keep saying I haven't received it and make them send it over and over. Most resends I got was around 20. I then reveal that all I keep getting is a picture of a small uncooked chipolata.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 04 September 2017, 04:07:47 pm
Quote from: Shwiftysquancher91 on 04 September 2017, 04:03:29 pm

I keep saying I haven't received it and make them send it over and over. Most resends I got was around 20. I then reveal that all I keep getting is a picture of a small uncooked chipolata.

Im stealing this idea  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hippydippy on 04 September 2017, 04:41:23 pm
Seen this guy once..
guy: hey babes can I come round? got something to show you
me (15 hours later): is it your dick?
guy: ha yeah. U free?

needless to say I ignored him after that
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 04 September 2017, 04:43:47 pm
Received this very obvious cut n paste.  Note the 'I will be in your area' and 'send me your price and details'......

Hello

I am a 54 year old Canadian Army officer and will be in your neck of the woods the first week in November.  I would love to experience giving up all control and be dominated and forced to do whatever you wanted me to.  I'd love for you to force me to cum twice, the first time with sex and the second by you slowly masturbating me any way you wish.

I will be at a hotel in the area.  If can recommend one, I would appreciate it.

I look forward to hearing from you.  Please send your price and any relevant details.

Thank you

Jeremy
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 04 September 2017, 05:42:35 pm
Quote from: Shwiftysquancher91 on 04 September 2017, 04:03:29 pm

I keep saying I haven't received it and make them send it over and over. Most resends I got was around 20. I then reveal that all I keep getting is a picture of a small uncooked chipolata.

love it!!  ;D :D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 04 September 2017, 08:24:12 pm
Got an email on AW just saying 'Hi. My name is Alan. My mobile is. 07xxxxxxxxx. X' (this was annoying enough) I replied asking a date, time and how long he'd want to book for, which he responded to. Seemed perfectly polite and said he'd be in touch to see me this week.

Then he asked where I'm based and I told him (and reminded him gently that it's on my profile). He responded saying 'Ops.   I don't read everything. :-)' I replied saying 'I have it written on the top of my profile to read it before contacting, so that might be an idea!' His last text was 'Sorry maybe it's not a good idea to meet!'

 ::) men can be so fragile - it was such a gentle prompt lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 04 September 2017, 08:39:23 pm
I had a text today:

4:30. Address?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 04 September 2017, 11:55:31 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 04 September 2017, 08:39:23 pm
I had a text today:

4:30. Address?

How about this text, simply

FS?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 05 September 2017, 11:11:40 am
Annnnd another email.....

Hi,

Good Morning as you read this mail saw your Profile on your Website and wanted to Meet up with you.

I am 44 yrs old single and a Virgin and want to end my Virginity and meet a woman who can offer the Real Girl Friend Experience with Lots of Kissing, Cuddling and love making in all Tantric positions if possible.

I run a Small Business in UK and i am basically into online selling of Products .

I have done a Tantric Ritual Course in 2005 and i can do tantric Massage and Tantric Love Making.

I am very nervous as i have not met any women in the last 9 yrs for massage or for Love making would love to meet up with you and explore my hidden Fantasies if that is possible do let me know on this .

MY Numbers are ********* tried calling you but for a long time it was not reachable .

Look forward to hearing from you and i would love you to be the 1st Woman to touch me and give me lots of love and passion during the time we spend together

Regards
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 05 September 2017, 11:49:05 am
I know which site most of these 'enquiries' are coming from...

Hi there, am Z*** am 25. I saw your ad and wondered if you are available?

Ps is it OK am a virgin with a small penis.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 05 September 2017, 01:59:55 pm
And how could I forget this, from a drug dealer  ???

Text: Hey Its A, I've Got Top Quality Coke, Standard Coke, MDMA And Weed In Stock, Quality Is 10/10, 24/7 Delivery's All Over London! Call Me On 07********(

Me: You texted an escort not a junkie.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 05 September 2017, 02:12:10 pm
I have ?30. Can I see you?

HAVE YOU WASHED YOUR ARSE?

These two gems were different people and my text. I don't think I need to say anymore.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 05 September 2017, 02:20:20 pm
Quote from: Lalalondon on 31 August 2017, 06:14:20 pm
Nott sure this is the right thread, but it did make me laugh!


Evening, how are you?? Been up to much?

A bit weird I know, but I'm looking to be in an open relationship (where only she has other guys and I don't see anyone else) I'm not the clingy, controlling, possessive, insecure type. I absolutely love knowing that my partner (when I have one) is having fun and enjoying herself. I find it so hot!

I like someone who is open minded, kinky, naughty, cheeky, flirtatious, loves lots of banter, lots of laughs and good times together. Dating sites are full of stuffy, snotty nosed people and that is just not for me.

I got some face pics on here, have a look. If you want to chat add me on like bla bla my number is bla bla.

Scott xx

I had no idea that adultwork was also a dating site!

Yes some guys use it as one. I'd actually be interested in him. He's just what I'm after at present....although I bet he's absolutely minging to look at. They always are.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 05 September 2017, 04:34:39 pm
Classic AW knobhead email 'My regular girl charges me 20 for 10mins play and 69 to finish,I don't want sex.If you can match this then I'll come to see you regular instead'
Feeling particularly annoyed with the timewaster fest which is the 6 week hols I replied with 'If I was you I would stick with your regular lady,it sounds like a good deal to me.As you can see from my profile I charge 40 for a quickie and I'd rather have a quick protected shag than stick your unprotected cock in my mouth and for half my fee as well!I also make it clear I don't entertain cheeky cheapskate hagglers and I think I'll just about survive without your 'regular' 20'.
He deleted my reply almost straight away..was it something I said? :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 05 September 2017, 05:11:03 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 05 September 2017, 04:34:39 pm
Classic AW knobhead email 'My regular girl charges me 20 for 10mins play and 69 to finish,I don't want sex.If you can match this then I'll come to see you regular instead'
Feeling particularly annoyed with the timewaster fest which is the 6 week hols I replied with 'If I was you I would stick with your regular lady,it sounds like a good deal to me.As you can see from my profile I charge 40 for a quickie and I'd rather have a quick protected shag than stick your unprotected cock in my mouth and for half my fee as well!I also make it clear I don't entertain cheeky cheapskate hagglers and I think I'll just about survive without your 'regular' 20'.
He deleted my reply almost straight away..was it something I said? :(

That made me chuckle.

Had so many TWs this morning, and I know most of them came from Cracker (aka BP), nearly all of them wanted cheap massages, or RP I didn't offer.

Then there was the guy who seemed to take on board he had to read the website, rang back, made a booking ...and then...

Him: 'Can I see you for X amount' (?60 under my 1 hr fee)

Me: Did you really just ask that, NO, don't say sorry just don't ask that!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 05 September 2017, 06:48:25 pm
Idiot: Hello is this J
Me: Yes it is would you like to meet today if so what part of London are you in?
Idiot: How big are you tits ( At this point i knew was a timewaster)
Me: All my details are on my advert
Idiot: I would like to stick something between them what would you like
Me: English sterling fifity notes
Idiot: No I stick   (I hung up before he could say cok) :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 05 September 2017, 07:19:02 pm
Registered on AW 2 days before sending me this;

Hey babe,

I want to see you but I dont have a mobile that I can call you from.

Is there any other way to confirm a booking ?

Bx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 05 September 2017, 07:48:10 pm
Quote from: DynamiteDoll on 05 September 2017, 06:48:25 pm
Idiot: Hello is this J
Me: Yes it is would you like to meet today if so what part of London are you in?
Idiot: How big are you tits ( At this point i knew was a timewaster)
Me: All my details are on my advert
Idiot: I would like to stick something between them what would you like
Me: English sterling fifity notes
Idiot: No I stick   (I hung up before he could say cok) :FF

This reminds me of the time a time waster asked me what turned me on.... my reply "crisp ?50 notes"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 05 September 2017, 08:41:53 pm
Him- U seem filthy! What's the catch?
Me- You have to pay for it
Him- How much? And do you have any Face photos? I'm scared you may be some fat old person.
Me- Quite the charmer you are arnt you?
Him- lol well I'm not brad Pitt

No shit Sherlock :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 05 September 2017, 08:59:02 pm
Available Today brings out the real fuckin morons I swear.

I ask for a minimum I hr notice; so I miss a call with a couple of guys, one in particular...when I text availability, says 'I was looking for now not later

I remind him it's one hr minimum notice, he texts back some guff he thought I might still be available anyway, and 'sorry if I got your back up', No I say you haven't but I don't bend the rules for anyone, and they are there clear as day.

That's the end of that I think as I block the idiot, but no.....I happen to check my blocked texts just now and...


Ok I respect that, Would you like to meet up. That is if you are the X station and welcome a visit say at 7pm (although I recall 7.30 was the preference.

Preference  ??? That was my absolute minimum notice  :FF and btw this text sent at 6.40 and he was asking for 7 despite my explicit reminders about how much notice I need, what a moron! (Oh yeh he'd also tried to call...)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 05 September 2017, 09:02:50 pm
Idiot: hi hun

can you meet me in a nice 4 star hotel [hotel] near central station for an hour or two ? whats the best price you can do it for, please be reasonable hun

thank you

[number] whatsapp

Me:Considering you clearly haven't read a word of my profile and have made an (unsuccessful) attempt at haggling, we will not be meeting.

Him: then fuck off thank you

 ;D

The idiot already asked me to move to Greece with him twice  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 06 September 2017, 09:34:07 am
I offer a Domme service and had this call this morning

"Hello Mistress can I book you?"
"Yes sure, where are you?"
"Barnsley"
"I don't cover that area, can you book a hotel in Leeds?"
"Yes"
"Book the hotel and ring me back"

2 mins later he called me back
"That was fast, did you book online?"
"No Ive not booked, I'm wondering if we can do it in my car and can you bring a long whip?"

My long whip is nearly a 7 feet long!!.... How does he expect me to swing that about in a car?  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 06 September 2017, 09:52:57 am
Can u send me your postcode no questions just I.comimg over at 11 .
No your not darling you don't get to choose what time suits without asking if I had other bookings
He's got a long wait for the postcode!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 06 September 2017, 09:58:47 am
Quote from: Rosesugar on 06 September 2017, 09:52:57 am
Can u send me your postcode no questions just I.comimg over at 11 .
No your not darling you don't get to choose what time suits without asking if I had other bookings
He's got a long wait for the postcode!!

I swear clients think that we dont have other things to do with our time but sit around and wait for them to contact us  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 06 September 2017, 11:19:02 am
Quote from: Alison381 on 06 September 2017, 09:58:47 am
I swear clients think that we dont have other things to do with our time but sit around and wait for them to contact us  :FF

Quite I had about 15 various types of TWs yesterday, AND a no show today (tho I was kinda expecting it).

On the plus side 2 lovely clients as well.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 06 September 2017, 01:44:00 pm
Quote from: Alison381 on 06 September 2017, 09:58:47 am
I swear clients think that we dont have other things to do with our time but sit around and wait for them to contact us  :FF

I've had at least two people repeat 'r u free?' About five times in an attempt to get my attention in an oxymoronically fashion.

I'm having a day off leave me alone! -turns off phone and hides under duvet with ice cream-
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 06 September 2017, 04:40:03 pm
A guy just texted:

I have ?20.

Well I'll survive without his 20 quid i think  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 06 September 2017, 06:43:18 pm
him: hi where are you based and when are you next available
me- I'm in x and available from x onwards.
him-ok whats full adress? do you have any hairs? what wont you do? do you have any pets at your place?
me- Yes I have pets, all other info is on my ad.
him-ok, what pets?
(ignored)
him- what's full address please?

If he bothered to read the ad I directed to him he would see I don't give out my location that way. And I really want to know his insistence about pets. At first I thought he may be allergic but with it being repeated and asked for full address I wonder if he wanted to know if I had any vicious dog to protect me. Going to start saying I have five angry rottweilers!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 07 September 2017, 01:34:17 am
Quote from: hannah13 on 06 September 2017, 06:43:18 pm
him: hi where are you based and when are you next available
me- I'm in x and available from x onwards.
him-ok whats full adress? do you have any hairs? what wont you do? do you have any pets at your place?
me- Yes I have pets, all other info is on my ad.
him-ok, what pets?
(ignored)
him- what's full address please?

If he bothered to read the ad I directed to him he would see I don't give out my location that way. And I really want to know his insistence about pets. At first I thought he may be allergic but with it being repeated and asked for full address I wonder if he wanted to know if I had any vicious dog to protect me. Going to start saying I have five angry rottweilers!

Or maybe he steals pets for a living and thought hey let me target escorts when you are in a bathroom take the pet and sale it. (I can't sleep brain is on random) x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 07 September 2017, 11:09:44 am
By text.

Moron: hi is your advert genuine
Me: My genuine adverts state that I don't accept texts. So the one you're looking at clearly isn't.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 07 September 2017, 12:57:46 pm
Quote from: DynamiteDoll on 07 September 2017, 01:34:17 am
Or maybe he steals pets for a living and thought hey let me target escorts when you are in a bathroom take the pet and sale it. (I can't sleep brain is on random) x

I'd like to see him try and steal mine, she has a fear of men and would bite him.  ;D

He later text with "you want to meet yes or no" (during the time he knew I was unavailable.) Think I'll pass!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 07 September 2017, 03:13:34 pm
9.30am I had a silent phone call so listed it not to answer again.
9.33 I received a text..Hi helen just tried to ring to arrange a visit tomorrow
9.33 I receive the above text again
10.59 I receive another text..I take it by your response you don't work any more as per your adverts sorry to disurbe you.

Correct! I've retired from engaging with all self entitled demanding morons who think I'm at their beck and call.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 07 September 2017, 03:39:31 pm
Phone call..
Him..Seen your ad on AW blah blah I see you are very local to me (Local? No way is he getting a booking) blah blah..can I come over now?
Me..No sorry I've finished for the day.
Him..More Blah Blah then 'Awww cant you just see me? I'm local'
Me..No
Him.. I'm a nice bloke really are you sure you can't fit me in? (Local and a boundary pusher? No thanks mate!)
Me..Click. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: honeymoonbarbie on 07 September 2017, 05:09:39 pm
Ever feel like an email exchange is going on too long and the person is likely a timewaster?

Him (a summary): Can I see you in the area you're touring after your tour is scheduled to end? Just want to confirm services, what will I get for X amount of time?
Me (a summary): No, I'm only here from X date to Y date, I'm a GFE escort, specific services are listed on my profile.
*He requests a date and time I'm actually in the area*
Him: Shall I give you cash in hand?
Me: You're welcome to pay direct debit in advanced if you'd rather.
*Silence*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katiexxx on 07 September 2017, 08:05:00 pm

Hi Katie i work in Poundland (name of my town) if you ever want a booking with me

WTF? :o
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 07 September 2017, 08:45:16 pm
Quote from: Katiexxx on 07 September 2017, 08:05:00 pm
Hi Katie i work in Poundland (name of my town) if you ever want a booking with me

WTF? :o
This made me snort laughing... ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 07 September 2017, 08:58:19 pm
Quote from: Katiexxx on 07 September 2017, 08:05:00 pm
Hi Katie i work in Poundland (name of my town) if you ever want a booking with me

WTF? :o

I had to read it twice  :FF
On the other hand... he could pay you in shower gels and babywipes maybe??? :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: honeymoonbarbie on 07 September 2017, 10:46:06 pm
Him: I had a lot of questions I wanted to ask when I first called 20 minutes ago but I can't remember half of them, heh heh.
Me: That's alright, are you still looking to arrange a booking?
Him: Yeah, but just one question, are you participating in the ?100.00 facef*ck?
Me (a GFE escort): .. No? What is that?
Him: Uh.. I don't know.
Me: *fits of giggles*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 08 September 2017, 08:23:10 am
Quote from: honeymoonbarbie on 07 September 2017, 10:46:06 pm
Him: I had a lot of questions I wanted to ask when I first called 20 minutes ago but I can't remember half of them, heh heh.
Me: That's alright, are you still looking to arrange a booking?
Him: Yeah, but just one question, are you participating in the ?100.00 facef*ck?
Me (a GFE escort): .. No? What is that?
Him: Uh.. I don't know.
Me: *fits of giggles*

I got asked if I was doing that yesterday. I thought the guy was winding me up tbh. Maybe its a real thing.... best get googling lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 08 September 2017, 11:18:49 am
Text just now...

Hello my name is *Idiot who cant understand the how to book part of your profile that says i need to ring you to make a booking* my address is *full address that's over an hour away from the city I cover* can you be here in 5 minutes? Ill pay you an extra ?5 to cover travel costs.

 :FF :FF :FF I swear I'm going to turn my work phone off and go get my nails done then eat chocolate all day instead
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 08 September 2017, 03:57:29 pm
First guy asks for asap, so I suggest in 15 minutes time as I'm mostly ready...no, that's not quick enough he'll leave it.
Second was a "Hi send me postcode x" I'll pass.
Third was someone already saved under "couldn't get rid of!!" I'll pass on him too.

Last time I use AT for a while.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 08 September 2017, 05:53:03 pm
Quote from: hannah13 on 08 September 2017, 03:57:29 pm
First guy asks for asap, so I suggest in 15 minutes time as I'm mostly ready...no, that's not quick enough he'll leave it.
Second was a "Hi send me postcode x" I'll pass.
Third was someone already saved under "couldn't get rid of!!" I'll pass on him too.

Last time I use AT for a while.  ::)

Trouble with AT is that it seems to attract morons who want ATS - Available This Second  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 08 September 2017, 07:42:35 pm
Quote from: Gypsy on 08 September 2017, 05:53:03 pm
Trouble with AT is that it seems to attract morons who want ATS - Available This Second  ;D

Exactly what happened to me today, about 15 idiots morons and timewasters, mainly between 3 and 6.30 pm till I was ready to use a punch bag.

Then to top it all oven at touring place not working  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: honeymoonbarbie on 09 September 2017, 12:25:31 pm
So this guy calls up and books in for my last appointment of the day, we arrange details and I send him the address. I then get a phone call:

Him: Hi, I hung around for a little while outside of X hotel (not the one I'm staying at), I'm willing to stay another 15 minutes but then I really must go..
Me: What? I think you've got the wrong number.
Him: Isn't this X (not my name)?
Me: No.
Him: *disconnects call*

So let me get this right, the first service provider he books is clearly messing him about so he calls me as 'Plan B' but is still trying to see his first choice and even offering to wait 15 minutes for her so even if she doesn't let him up to her room he can make his way to me, 10 minutes late.

I think not.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 09 September 2017, 12:51:21 pm
All the morons who text to ask if you're available but can't even SPELL the word "available" !!!! Dear Lord  :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 10 September 2017, 05:30:11 am
Quote from: honeymoonbarbie on 09 September 2017, 12:25:31 pm
So this guy calls up and books in for my last appointment of the day, we arrange details and I send him the address. I then get a phone call:

Him: Hi, I hung around for a little while outside of X hotel (not the one I'm staying at), I'm willing to stay another 15 minutes but then I really must go..
Me: What? I think you've got the wrong number.
Him: Isn't this X (not my name)?
Me: No.
Him: *disconnects call*

So let me get this right, the first service provider he books is clearly messing him about so he calls me as 'Plan B' but is still trying to see his first choice and even offering to wait 15 minutes for her so even if she doesn't let him up to her room he can make his way to me, 10 minutes late.

I think not.

You did well to keep your cool id of laid into him lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 10 September 2017, 11:17:17 am
Today I had a dude asking cam he put it in me really deep. No hi hello. Blocked the bastard.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mySecret on 10 September 2017, 11:19:35 am
 
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 07 September 2017, 08:58:19 pm
I had to read it twice  :FF
On the other hand... he could pay you in shower gels and babywipes maybe??? :FF


 ;D ;D ;D so funny!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 10 September 2017, 01:41:53 pm
"Are you available to come to my hotel tonight at 7pm for a gfe meeting"
"Yes I am can i have the hotel info?"
*gives me the details of the hotel*
"How long booking would you like?"
"2 hours but can I only pay for an hour as my wife has just left me?"

 :FF would a civvy job be easier? at least I wouldn't have to deal with idiots on a Sunday
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mySecret on 10 September 2017, 04:21:55 pm
a client on aw...so funny! he is sending a request for a booking with date and time. I reply yes i could be available...he: i will come back to you to confirm! me: ok (was 1 month before booking date)


Then surfing bids...ahaha he created a bid for same date/hrs..
he think that i am stupid lol..... ;D ;D

i ll never meet him! i hate this kind of manner....he is not really smart!
he still sending other requests!....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 10 September 2017, 06:59:29 pm
Not available today but I answered a call as in one of my curious moods.

Silence. Then he hung up. I usually ignore but not always, so texted saying how rude to not speak and end the call. Reply came, "bad line so texting easier can I book now?"

I responded No thankyou. I got a "K" text back.

How fulfilling it could have been to meet this man with no voice, had he read anyting at all about me he would know I never ever do text only bookings with unknowns.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 11 September 2017, 03:06:51 pm
had a call and from the first words out of his mouth I knew I wouldn't book him


Moron..U available?
Me..No I've finished for today.
Moron...Its says here 10-5
Me...I don't care what it says there I'm finished for today!
Moron..Cant you just fit me in
Me..Did you not hear me? I..AM,,,FINISHED..FOR..TODAY !!  :FF
Me..hang up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 11 September 2017, 08:54:23 pm
Without even attempting to phone me first to see if I am available or free this guy puts a booking through AW for a time I do not work and with 30hrs instead of 0.5hrs as the duration, then the wrong fee which less than I actually charge.

What is the point? Not even like a reverse booking, which I do not ever do anyway.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sherbet_dab on 11 September 2017, 09:23:14 pm
Quote from: Justine on 11 September 2017, 08:54:23 pm
Without even attempting to phone me first to see if I am available or free this guy puts a booking through AW for a time I do not work and with 30hrs instead of 0.5hrs as the duration, then the wrong fee which less than I actually charge.

What is the point? Not even like a reverse booking, which I do not ever do anyway.

There seems to be a lot of this going on lately, and it's often deliberate trolling. If the booking request isn't deleted in time, they are able to leave feedback despite not having actually met with you  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 11 September 2017, 10:47:35 pm
Quote from: Lady_G on 11 September 2017, 09:23:14 pm
There seems to be a lot of this going on lately, and it's often deliberate trolling. If the booking request isn't deleted in time, they are able to leave feedback despite not having actually met with you  >:(

This is a middle aged man recently signed up with no feedback and gave me his full name in the booking. I checked and he is a married family man on social media so not trolling but possibly just thick.  He has not contacted me again to enquire about the (non) booking.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: dalish on 12 September 2017, 12:05:48 pm
I noticed on bb gb site you advertised no limits gangbang I'd be keen to attend a orgy like this as I'd never tried it before. I find myself dominant and like to see a woman fucked till she cannot.take anymore. Be it choking on a cock rammed.down her throat or seeing her comfortably riding a cock till I introduce either a toy or another cock to dpp her and same with.anal.
My all.time favourite porno is remi lacroix 8 man gangbang (check it out)
In that the men use her as a fuck doll doing anything they want.to her. You see when they start a dap her eyes roll to the back of her head and nearly.pass out from being stretched more than ever before and having to control her pain barrier aswell as finding it extremely satisfying considering she loves anal anyway. To me I think a woman should be treat.like this.everytime.shes fucked. None.of this 1.round nonsense finishing after.the first load. She should be fucked so hard and abused so much that.she doesnt want.anymore for a.godd while and once you've recovered it happens again. Kind.of.like. wanting to make.you crave it before scream in extacy during and not.want.to go near a.man for.a.good while after knowing how you will be treat. In my opinion if.you wake up the next day and don't atleast feel sore in some way you havnt been pleasured good enough

No idea what he's on about as the only place I advertise is AW.  As for the rest... well, anyone want this charmer?  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 12 September 2017, 07:13:09 pm
Quote from: dalish on 12 September 2017, 12:05:48 pm
I noticed on bb gb site you advertised no limits gangbang I'd be keen to attend a orgy like this as I'd never tried it before. I find myself dominant and like to see a woman fucked till she cannot.take anymore. Be it choking on a cock rammed.down her throat or seeing her comfortably riding a cock till I introduce either a toy or another cock to dpp her and same with.anal.
My all.time favourite porno is remi lacroix 8 man gangbang (check it out)
In that the men use her as a fuck doll doing anything they want.to her. You see when they start a dap her eyes roll to the back of her head and nearly.pass out from being stretched more than ever before and having to control her pain barrier aswell as finding it extremely satisfying considering she loves anal anyway. To me I think a woman should be treat.like this.everytime.shes fucked. None.of this 1.round nonsense finishing after.the first load. She should be fucked so hard and abused so much that.she doesnt want.anymore for a.godd while and once you've recovered it happens again. Kind.of.like. wanting to make.you crave it before scream in extacy during and not.want.to go near a.man for.a.good while after knowing how you will be treat. In my opinion if.you wake up the next day and don't atleast feel sore in some way you havnt been pleasured good enough

No idea what he's on about as the only place I advertise is AW.  As for the rest... well, anyone want this charmer?  :FF

That sounds like a perfect candidate for getting my "Sure, I can supply the anal stretching you want, just give me a call when you'd like to arrange for me to fuck your arse with my 15" dildo" response.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 12 September 2017, 08:49:30 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 12 September 2017, 07:13:09 pm
That sounds like a perfect candidate for getting my "Sure, I can supply the anal stretching you want, just give me a call when you'd like to arrange for me to fuck your arse with my 15" dildo" response.


Love that!!!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 13 September 2017, 02:25:50 pm
Via email:

'Hi Lucie,

I saw your profile on AdultWork.com and ...'

So I responded 'and?'

and then I got 'Hi r. U free now' and then 'R u free now do you do kissing if yes send your address please'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katiexxx on 13 September 2017, 03:38:03 pm
Saved in my fone as: Asking Quest Pest

14.6. 2017
Pest: Available
Me: Yes but won't be seeing you as you have wasted my time before
Pest: Ok then

18.7.
Pest: Available

12.9. 2017
Pest: What time free
Pest: Free Friday around 2??
Pest: Well I'll ring Friday ok?
Pest: Ok well hope you behave yourself today

  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 13 September 2017, 04:40:09 pm
Got a guy that keeps texting the same thing with no change

'Hi ru available today?'

I want to block and delete as it is at least 6 times a day everyday but I'm curious as to how many times and how long for he is prepared to keep it up (excuse the unintentional pun).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: dalish on 13 September 2017, 05:00:25 pm
Got another dingus from AW today.

Are you available this afternoon please for in call

I only do outcalls.  I don't even have PRICES for incalls showing.  I reply saying "thanks for the interest but I only offer outcalls"

I can accommodate ..what times can you do out all please..can pick and drop you back too

I'm now wondering why he feels the need to mention pickup and drop off - this usually means that they're miles away!  So I message back asking where he is.

I am in the [redacted] area. I will treat you very well. Looking to have a long term regular thing ..
I am looking for a very passionate time

As opposed to what, exactly?  I didn't get a chance to reply before:

A contact number would be really useful

I reply saying "Thank you again for the interest, but you're outside of the area I serve. Good luck finding a lady who can provide what you seek!"


I would pick and drop you off. I am near [redacted]..would really love to see you


I ignore this.


I can book you for longer

Yes, because the promise of a longer booking is totally going to make me change my mind when I already said no, jump out of bed and pretty myself up so I can leap in a stranger's car and let him take me somewhere miles away. I suppose I'd better shine up the axe and fetch the rope too!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 13 September 2017, 05:05:39 pm
Quote from: Shwiftysquancher91 on 13 September 2017, 04:40:09 pm
Got a guy that keeps texting the same thing with no change

'Hi ru available today?'

I want to block and delete as it is at least 6 times a day everyday but I'm curious as to how many times and how long for he is prepared to keep it up (excuse the unintentional pun).

I have one like that everyday. 9am on the dot "you working today?" "yes" "OK"

Been going on for 2 months now.... I think if it stops Ill get worried he died on me lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 13 September 2017, 06:48:36 pm
I dont even know what to do with this....

I got this as a follow up from an email asking if I can Dominate 2 males at the same time

"Mistress Ali,

Thanks for replying. Sometime after October 8 (we're still on a foreign holiday). To explain further, my dad is 78, a longtime submissive, I'm 51, new but happy to have taken the plunge and wanting to explore more (I must stress I'm inexperienced but a good learner). We would like to visit with dad's helper (Name removed), who's 21, if you would allow her to assist you (we've already experimented). My apologies if you don't find us suitable.

Respectfully, (name removed)"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 13 September 2017, 07:10:35 pm
Somebody on AW has just sent me 4 messages in a row, within 1 hour, begging for a booking. Think il avoid.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 13 September 2017, 07:52:28 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 13 September 2017, 02:25:50 pm
Via email:

'Hi Lucie,

I saw your profile on AdultWork.com and ...'

So I responded 'and?'


I got one too....

Hi *My working name on AW*

Hi good evening could you do a out call to *area I dont cover* tonight?

I saw your profile on AdultWork.com and ...

My reply...

Sorry I dont cover your area and.....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 13 September 2017, 11:52:45 pm
Quote from: Katiexxx on 13 September 2017, 03:38:03 pm
Saved in my fone as: Asking Quest Pest

14.6. 2017
Pest: Available
Me: Yes but won't be seeing you as you have wasted my time before
Pest: Ok then

18.7.
Pest: Available

12.9. 2017
Pest: What time free
Pest: Free Friday around 2??
Pest: Well I'll ring Friday ok?
Pest: Ok well hope you behave yourself today

  ;D
Can u imagine is this fool for real ?!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katiexxx on 14 September 2017, 11:45:00 am
Quote from: Rosesugar on 13 September 2017, 11:52:45 pm
Can u imagine is this fool for real ?!!

Well I hope not. He is blocked now  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 14 September 2017, 01:50:18 pm
Quote from: Alison381 on 13 September 2017, 06:48:36 pm
I dont even know what to do with this....

I got this as a follow up from an email asking if I can Dominate 2 males at the same time

"Mistress Ali,

Thanks for replying. Sometime after October 8 (we're still on a foreign holiday). To explain further, my dad is 78, a longtime submissive, I'm 51, new but happy to have taken the plunge and wanting to explore more (I must stress I'm inexperienced but a good learner). We would like to visit with dad's helper (Name removed), who's 21, if you would allow her to assist you (we've already experimented). My apologies if you don't find us suitable.

Respectfully, (name removed)"

Whaaaaaaaat. So a father/son booking and his dad's carer joins in too?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 14 September 2017, 08:02:53 pm
'Dear Lucie

My name is Paul.

I thought i'd write to you because i'm looking for someone gentle and warm to meet.

Some context: having had a lot of sex in my life, in recent years - after, I admit, a sequence of bad/destructive relationships - i have moved away from casual relationships (IE those primarily motivated by sex). My overall wellbeing is much the better for it, I must admit.

Prior to this, due to issues with nerves, over the last decade I have often resorted to using viagra early in sexual relationships. I know this is all psychosomatic because I have a very high sex drive, have no issues solo, and would always stop using the pills once relaxed with someone. Further, I recently visited a tantric sex therapist to discuss all of this. She explained how important relaxation is for strong, positive sexual experiences. She also spoke about a more gentle form of love making. Less about 'fucking' more about 'synching' --- if u get what I mean.

Anyway (i'll get to my point), given my reluctance to enter relationships just for the sake of sex, and given both the issues that have caused me to turn to viagra in the past, as well as a new worry about PE (after the meeting with the Tantric person I have been practicing seed retention --- which is great, very energising + empowering - but now i'm very sensitive!!!), i want to meet someone empathic enough the understand all of this, someone who can help me to build up confidence and learn to be a healthy, happy lover...

Hope this doesn't sound too bonkers. I guess i'm pretty analytic lol. Anyway, your profile tells me you're smart and, u know, cool. I'm 35, pretty fit/healthy and just started studying for a PhD...

Thanks!

Paul'

wow cool story bro
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 15 September 2017, 03:05:45 pm
Caller:  hi are you available this afternoon?
Me:  yes, I actually had a cancellation so do have a spot this afternoon... how long etc
Caller: great, half an hour as soon as you are able, saw your profile - are all your likes included or are there extras?
Me:  No, everything is included - call when you're parked up and I'll direct you in



Client calls back at arranged time and place

Caller:  Hi, meant to ask is oral without?  (this is really clear on my profile that everything is covered)
Me:  no, all services are protected
Caller, oh but i'm outside -  I should have asked - Think I'll leave it


So you read and loved my profile, looked at likes list and still never spotted the bit about everything being covered - even the bit where i state in bold that i don't do OWO and even my own toys used on me will be covered!!
 :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 15 September 2017, 03:25:38 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 15 September 2017, 03:05:45 pm
Caller:  hi are you available this afternoon?
Me:  yes, I actually had a cancellation so do have a spot this afternoon... how long etc
Caller: great, half an hour as soon as you are able, saw your profile - are all your likes included or are there extras?
Me:  No, everything is included - call when you're parked up and I'll direct you in



Client calls back at arranged time and place

Caller:  Hi, meant to ask is oral without?  (this is really clear on my profile that everything is covered)
Me:  no, all services are protected
Caller, oh but i'm outside -  I should have asked - Think I'll leave it


So you read and loved my profile, looked at likes list and still never spotted the bit about everything being covered - even the bit where i state in bold that i don't do OWO and even my own toys used on me will be covered!!
 :FF :FF :FF
So annoying when this happens its as if they've taken the money out my purse because in my mind I've already added it to my daily earnings.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 15 September 2017, 05:01:52 pm
i think thats why i'm so irked helen.  he was outside ffs

ah well, onwards and upwards
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 15 September 2017, 10:25:04 pm
This charmer has just landed in my inbox....

"hiya ali, do you do sex without and oily titwanks?"

What at the same time?  ???  :FF

Tell its friday night cant you? 2nd bareback request ive had this evening!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 15 September 2017, 10:31:35 pm
Quote from: littleminxjennifer on 15 September 2017, 03:05:45 pm
Caller:  hi are you available this afternoon?
Me:  yes, I actually had a cancellation so do have a spot this afternoon... how long etc
Caller: great, half an hour as soon as you are able, saw your profile - are all your likes included or are there extras?
Me:  No, everything is included - call when you're parked up and I'll direct you in



Client calls back at arranged time and place

Caller:  Hi, meant to ask is oral without?  (this is really clear on my profile that everything is covered)
Me:  no, all services are protected
Caller, oh but i'm outside -  I should have asked - Think I'll leave it


So you read and loved my profile, looked at likes list and still never spotted the bit about everything being covered - even the bit where i state in bold that i don't do OWO and even my own toys used on me will be covered!!
 :FF :FF :FF
This is why I now ask what services they're after when booking. Had too many people turn up not have a clue what I did and didn't offer. It's not foolproof but it's very rare now that I get a client turn up expecting something I don't do.

Although getting them to actually tell me what services they're after during the phonecall is another ballache in itself..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: littleminxjennifer on 16 September 2017, 03:06:39 am
I usually check too but this one specifically spoke about my profile.  I think he was simply a chancer

Been a day of them

Just checking emails in bed and picked up this beauty

Quote


Im bored of wanking and fantasising over my auny i want her so badly, would live a cd to act and be her for me and let me live my dream you would be perfect x


Does he think I'm a cross dresser?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 16 September 2017, 10:27:07 pm
Had this email today:

'I am a 38 year old wheelchair user from Birmingham for the first scenario would like to see a service provider at my house ( would prefer someone from a medical background i.e. female nurse or carer or a female doctor) but this is not a necessity.

First scenario

i am a virgin and have weak erections hav been told to masturbate as an exercise. But no fun masturbating alone. I usually masturbate with my physio in the room



would like u to play the role of a sex therapy nurse and come and giv me a femdom hand job

I want to see u with my physiotherapist present she s here to take care of my legs and i love to show her everything. Have done this before but the escort wasn t experienced enough to do a proper femdom hanjob. Both myself and the escrt were nude and my physio is ok with this. You play the role of a sex therapy nurse. I want u to come and giv me a femdom style handjob carrying on regardless of my moans etc. Would like to create a situation where where u tell my physio that the treatment needs to continues for atleast 1 hr regardless of my discomfort and for this i would like u to ask my physio to encourage me during the session. Than i want u to hav ur way with my penis making me moan and scream.

Both u and i will be nude.



I want my dignity to be stripped away and be sex put on display in session in front of my physio

make me oink like a pig and drool like a dog



2nd Scenario



Would like to see an escort with a car.

we put the wheelchair in the boot,  would like a lovely escort to accompany me to klub klink in dudley a bdsm/ exhibitionist/ swinger club

 would like to be stripped naked and given a harsh screaming  handjob repeatedly  in there open fetish play room for all to see

If u r interested in either scenario get in touch or if anyone can provide advice on how to make the 2nd scenario successful i would appreciate it

Again sorry for causing and offence'

Ffs  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 17 September 2017, 10:56:38 am
Quote from: Alison381 on 13 September 2017, 06:48:36 pm
I dont even know what to do with this....

I got this as a follow up from an email asking if I can Dominate 2 males at the same time

"Mistress Ali,

Thanks for replying. Sometime after October 8 (we're still on a foreign holiday). To explain further, my dad is 78, a longtime submissive, I'm 51, new but happy to have taken the plunge and wanting to explore more (I must stress I'm inexperienced but a good learner). We would like to visit with dad's helper (Name removed), who's 21, if you would allow her to assist you (we've already experimented). My apologies if you don't find us suitable.

Respectfully, (name removed)"

Now this has got to be one of the strangest , bizzare set ups yet..... Geriatric dad/son sub combo with Dom.carer. ... What??!! .... Ha ha ....Hope Its a joke.. .. Wtf if they are for real!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KinkyVixen on 17 September 2017, 10:57:41 am
Quote from: Alison381 on 13 September 2017, 06:48:36 pm
I dont even know what to do with this....

I got this as a follow up from an email asking if I can Dominate 2 males at the same time

"Mistress Ali,

Thanks for replying. Sometime after October 8 (we're still on a foreign holiday). To explain further, my dad is 78, a longtime submissive, I'm 51, new but happy to have taken the plunge and wanting to explore more (I must stress I'm inexperienced but a good learner). We would like to visit with dad's helper (Name removed), who's 21, if you would allow her to assist you (we've already experimented). My apologies if you don't find us suitable.

Respectfully, (name removed)"

Now this has got to be one of the strangest , bizzare set ups yet..... Geriatric dad/son sub combo with Dom.carer. ... What??!! .... Ha ha ....Hope Its a joke.. .. Wtf if they are for real!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 17 September 2017, 12:21:35 pm
Quote from: KinkyVixen on 17 September 2017, 10:57:41 am
Now this has got to be one of the strangest , bizzare set ups yet..... Geriatric dad/son sub combo with Dom.carer. ... What??!! .... Ha ha ....Hope Its a joke.. .. Wtf if they are for real!!

I didnt even reply to find out, tbh I was too creeped out by it all
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: dalish on 17 September 2017, 09:50:09 pm
Ooh I got my first haggler today!

"U free for an hour on Thurs for 80?"

My hourly rate is ?110, which I informed him of quite curtly.  But the best bit? He's a "male escort". With the obligatory zero feedback, of course!

Maybe I should have asked him how he'd feel if someone asked him to do an hour for half his hourly rate! (Actually, I better not, he'd probably jump at the chance)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 17 September 2017, 11:13:59 pm
Quote from: dalish on 17 September 2017, 09:50:09 pm
Ooh I got my first haggler today!

"U free for an hour on Thurs for 80?"

My hourly rate is ?110, which I informed him of quite curtly.  But the best bit? He's a "male escort". With the obligatory zero feedback, of course!

Maybe I should have asked him how he'd feel if someone asked him to do an hour for half his hourly rate! (Actually, I better not, he'd probably jump at the chance)

I normally use the line. When you buy your food shop from Tesco is thatvwhat you say to the cashier when they ask you to pay the bill at the end? I normally don't get a reply.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 18 September 2017, 05:47:32 am
Hi babe u free now
Can I cum twice in 30 mins
Do you usually cum twice in half an hour with escorts?
Silent no reply at his end of the phone
I put phone down
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 18 September 2017, 12:04:49 pm
Hi was just wondering if I could get s nice slow cook(think he meant cock) sucking
My brown cook will be so happy to see you but I only have  30.00  for half hour sent as  text .
Couldnt be bothered to calll
I'm not giving his cook or cock whatever he calls it a shine for half price  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 18 September 2017, 06:22:43 pm
Him: Postcode?
Me: It's a series of letters and numbers that helps the post office identify your house. Hope this helps!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 18 September 2017, 08:02:24 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 18 September 2017, 06:22:43 pm
Him: Postcode?
Me: It's a series of letters and numbers that helps the post office identify your house. Hope this helps!
Ya ha ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sherbet_dab on 18 September 2017, 08:50:44 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 18 September 2017, 06:22:43 pm
Him: Postcode?
Me: It's a series of letters and numbers that helps the post office identify your house. Hope this helps!

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 18 September 2017, 09:24:45 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 18 September 2017, 06:22:43 pm
Him: Postcode?
Me: It's a series of letters and numbers that helps the post office identify your house. Hope this helps!


lmao

Had someone call when my client was in the shower, so texted to say I was busy and to call back later. Then he texted to say 'Can I hear you to see if your good in the room x'

Now saved as Perv Creep in my phone.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 19 September 2017, 01:04:14 am
Quote from: Lucie268 on 18 September 2017, 09:24:45 pm

lmao

Had someone call when my client was in the shower, so texted to say I was busy and to call back later. Then he texted to say 'Can I hear you to see if your good in the room x'

Now saved as Perv Creep in my phone.

Tell him sorry i can't talk right now as im having a really massive poo and don't want you to hear it drop. Kill his erection.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 19 September 2017, 09:52:18 pm
Quote from: English natural beauty on 19 September 2017, 01:04:14 am
Tell him sorry i can't talk right now as im having a really massive poo and don't want you to hear it drop. Kill his erection.
;D unless he's into hardsports
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 20 September 2017, 12:22:00 am
Quote from: Lucie268 on 19 September 2017, 09:52:18 pm
;D unless he's into hardsports

That's when you pin him down and shit on his face.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 20 September 2017, 07:14:02 pm
I've completely had a bellyful today of guys who want really short notice appointments. Plastered over all my adverts is minimum one hour's notice because I've found from bitter experience that these extreme short notice' ers are way more like to: Not Show, Walk Out, Cancel, haggle, or otherwise timewaste.

All these guys 'driving thro' or on their way from X to Y, Read the first few lines of my ads, for fucks sake.

Last straw was a guy who rang up said he was 'just round the corner' and 'what's it all about then'. I very nearly lost my temper but just told him coldly he'd know about the notice had he bothered to read, and that he wasn't my type of client.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 20 September 2017, 08:47:18 pm
Just had  this text
Hi can I fuck you for 20.00 ?
I can't call at the moment  just text me back a time after 8pm
No I will not text you back a time  I'm blocking you me thinks ..not wasting my minutes on him  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 21 September 2017, 09:57:35 am
Received this gem this morning sent at stupid o'clock last night:

Hey how are you ? Fancy you and fancy seeing you tonight - I'm 29 and can accommodate and send photos x

What do you think I am, a fuck buddy  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 21 September 2017, 05:07:16 pm
Who else fancies this charmer ?  ;)

"Hello Alison I know your rates on your profile state you charge *my rate* but I'm hoping we can sort it out"
"Hello what do you suggest we need to "sort out" about my rates?"
"Well it should be cheaper for me as I'm not your usual punter"
"Right OK.... what do you think my "usual punter" is?"
"Some big fat dirty c*nt"
"OK so you think I should "sort out" my rate with you because you think I only see big fat ugly c*nts?"
"Yes, Id be doing you a favor as you wont get anyone better than me"
"What makes you better than my usual clientele?.... who I can assure you ARE NOT big fat ugly c*nts"
"I'm very young and fit.... Ill pay you *half my usual rate*"
"OK so you insult my clients and now you are insulting me by offering me half my usual rate and you think you can get a booking with me?"
"Yes.... give me your postcode and I will come over"

 :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jo-jo on 21 September 2017, 07:41:48 pm
Quote from: Alison381 on 21 September 2017, 05:07:16 pm
Who else fancies this charmer ?  ;)

"Hello Alison I know your rates on your profile state you charge *my rate* but I'm hoping we can sort it out"
"Hello what do you suggest we need to "sort out" about my rates?"
"Well it should be cheaper for me as I'm not your usual punter"
"Right OK.... what do you think my "usual punter" is?"
"Some big fat dirty c*nt"
"OK so you think I should "sort out" my rate with you because you think I only see big fat ugly c*nts?"
"Yes, Id be doing you a favor as you wont get anyone better than me"
"What makes you better than my usual clientele?.... who I can assure you ARE NOT big fat ugly c*nts"
"I'm very young and fit.... Ill pay you *half my usual rate*"
"OK so you insult my clients and now you are insulting me by offering me half my usual rate and you think you can get a booking with me?"
"Yes.... give me your postcode and I will come over"

 :FF :FF



 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D He should fuck right off
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mya888 on 21 September 2017, 07:51:30 pm
So a guy asked me to drive an hour for an hour booking for 9pm when it's pouring with rain. I said no, top far away to drive in this weather.
His reply: the weather isn't that bad and it's only a 50 min drive.
Couldnt be even bothered to reply. Like he thinks he can dictate how far and when I want to travel  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 21 September 2017, 11:05:22 pm
Had someone on AW ask if I was planning to tour Manchester, I said no. Then said he'd 'make it worth my while' by booking two hours for an outcall. Right soooooo... you want me to drive four hours for a two hour booking?

Like, if I want to tour Manchester I will but not for *you*, client who I've never met before with 0 feedback.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 21 September 2017, 11:26:15 pm
Received a text

Hi u available to suck my cock?
I got your number of adult work I'm 25 male white English

What a charmer!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 22 September 2017, 08:28:39 am
Sent at 11.31pm

Hi it's -name- from -location- are you free for outcall now? Only thing is my wife is sleeping in another room in the house hope that's ok
?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kazzle on 22 September 2017, 09:30:46 am
"Hey Beautiful me and my mate want to ............"

I didn't bother reading any more. In less than 10 words he'd already given me two reasons not to see him. >:(

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 22 September 2017, 11:20:20 am
Hey do you have a sexy bum? xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Elliexo on 22 September 2017, 03:50:31 pm
'Hello where are you?'
So I said a local thing nearby but not too close that everyone knows in this town.
'No idea where that is tbh'
So I asked him is he local or visiting?
Completely ignores me and goes on
'Dont want to be rude but I saved your number last week and I tried to call but you didn't pick up, whats your profile name again'

I said he shouldn't be calling women when he doesn't even know who they are, waste of my time and his!

And down the phone goes  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: oleyoleyWG on 22 September 2017, 04:04:48 pm
I get so many texts just saying 'hi' that annoys me more than the blatant timewasters asking dickhead questions like today i had 'will you fart when ive got my tounge deep in your ass?' What the fuck no xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 22 September 2017, 04:15:07 pm
Quote from: ColeyoleyWG on 22 September 2017, 04:04:48 pm
I get so many texts just saying 'hi' that annoys me more than the blatant timewasters asking dickhead questions like today i had 'will you fart when ive got my tounge deep in your ass?' What the fuck no xx

Or "Hi, is this X?"  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 22 September 2017, 04:52:41 pm
Quote from: ColeyoleyWG on 22 September 2017, 04:04:48 pm
I get so many texts just saying 'hi' that annoys me more than the blatant timewasters asking dickhead questions like today i had 'will you fart when ive got my tounge deep in your ass?' What the fuck no xx

I don't reply to these texts. Sometimes I get a hi how are you as well. 90/100% time wasters.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 22 September 2017, 04:55:36 pm
Quote from: ColeyoleyWG on 22 September 2017, 04:04:48 pm
I get so many texts just saying 'hi' that annoys me more than the blatant timewasters asking dickhead questions like today i had 'will you fart when ive got my tounge deep in your ass?' What the fuck no xx

The hi or how are you or hi baby messages make me want to tell them to fuck off. I have now infact dedicated a FAQ on my profile to saying if you send me texts saying hi don't expect me to let you make a booking. And when I get a hi text I refer them to that part of my faqs. It's stupid what do they actually think texting me hi will get them it's bloody useless.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 22 September 2017, 04:55:48 pm
Quote from: ColeyoleyWG on 22 September 2017, 04:04:48 pm
I get so many texts just saying 'hi' that annoys me more than the blatant timewasters asking dickhead questions like today i had 'will you fart when ive got my tounge deep in your ass?' What the fuck no xx

The hi or how are you or hi baby messages make me want to tell them to fuck off. I have now infact dedicated a FAQ on my profile to saying if you send me texts saying hi don't expect me to let you make a booking. And when I get a hi text I refer them to that part of my faqs. It's stupid what do they actually think texting me hi will get them it's bloody useless.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 22 September 2017, 05:03:34 pm
Blah blah..
Me: So can you give me an idea of the services you're after?
Him: normal
Me: can you be a bit more specific, it's just to ensure we're compatible
Him: GFE, nicey nicey, girlfriend/boyfriend stuff

Errr okay then. I get he means Vanilla GFE but nicey nicey GF/BF just made me a bit sick in my mouth, and I am pretty vanilla GFE.

On the 'maybe if desperate' list he goes.

Before that I had someone try and hang up on me mid-sentence, but didn't quite manage to hang up  ;D tit.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 22 September 2017, 07:40:03 pm
Could you do me a special price hun its my birthday just for a tit wank x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 22 September 2017, 08:18:40 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 22 September 2017, 07:40:03 pm
Could you do me a special price hun its my birthday just for a tit wank x

Tell him it's your birthday so you're charging double.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 22 September 2017, 09:39:04 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 22 September 2017, 08:18:40 pm
Tell him it's your birthday so you're charging double.  ;D

Hahaha. 'Oh word? Me too! As a special treat for myself I'm upping my rates.'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 23 September 2017, 01:38:18 pm
I find it hilarious when you tour an area you've toured before....out the TWs come out, forgetting they've contacted you before, some are blocked already, but often a mild cases of Timewaster tries again, BLOCK!

Not so amusing someone you've seen before asks to see you again, then sends a text like this:

(Blah blah about not being sure 'when' this afternoon, something to do with kids), then
I have X amount but half an hour isn't quite long enough so we we maybe do something for X?

He was offering me a small amount over my half hr fee expecting what?  I'd say yeh you can have an hour for well under my hourly rate? Well he got nothing, no response, that often works better than saying anything in getting the message across.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 23 September 2017, 07:56:08 pm
And a missed call, I send my usual text with availability to get these texts back:

Blockhead: Hi, I want you to be my girlfriend! and

Blockhead: Are you single?

Me: www.match.com

AND BLOCK!

Looking at blocked texts, bombardment pleading me to be his GF, he can fuck right off!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 24 September 2017, 08:07:18 am
Email....

Hi, i live in X and would like to meet you but as a computer engineer i can afford only 50? for a short session. Please let me know your available times if you would like to accept. Cheers.

It pisses me off as I have NEVER offered 15 minutes, and this is half my 30 minute touring price, I can only think some ladies have discounted for him.

Also my X was a computer engineer and he earned enough for the odd luxury or two!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 26 September 2017, 12:37:25 pm
Got this email through VS today, if any ladies fancy taking him up on the offer please PM for details as I don't do over nights ;D  ::)

hia i got bissnes in y area 2 morrow im liking for 2 morrow night all night i ho phone it broken lol i want all night whith u 900 ok mail me
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: xkittenx on 26 September 2017, 05:39:23 pm
Got asked if I would trade a session for a bloody pc for god sake lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 26 September 2017, 05:41:16 pm
Quote from: xkittenx on 26 September 2017, 05:39:23 pm
Got asked if I would trade a session for a bloody pc for god sake lol

The best (or worst...) I heard about from a friend, was a booking in exhange for a MacDonalds, yes really!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 26 September 2017, 05:56:13 pm
Oh gosh!  In exchange for a McDonalds is a mad one WTF?!  Had an offer for an hour in exchange for a TV once lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 26 September 2017, 05:56:53 pm
Quote from: LisaLisa on 26 September 2017, 05:56:13 pm
Oh gosh!  In exchange for a McDonalds is a mad one WTF?!  Had an offer for an hour in exchange for a TV once lol.

Yup surprise surprise my friend declined!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 27 September 2017, 11:19:27 am
Text.

01.25 Can you get To xxx xxx now?
01.28 ?
02.01 No then.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katiexxx on 27 September 2017, 02:59:16 pm
Forgot to take my mobile number off from aw before sleep  :FF

Twat 23:11 Come in
Twat 23:18 I'm comming round
Twat 23:38 I know that number
Twat 02:21 I know who you are

Found him on Facebook. He lives 100 miles away from me ::)

Another Twat 02:59 You about?

15 missed calls...

Oh well my blocklist getting bigger and bigger every day



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 27 September 2017, 03:11:21 pm
I wouldn't call anyone between the hours of about 10pm and 8am but it's fine to call us, after all, we are in bed, ready for action, legs apart 24 hours a day!

Oh and always free at any given time for unknown knobbers to shag us, often in exchange for less money than we want, or random gifts in lieu of cash.

I mean, what's wrong with me, am I doing it wrong?

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: babyblue on 27 September 2017, 04:26:42 pm
Haha anyone want this one?

'Hi hope you are well, I'm an electrician and all round handy man if you have anything that needs doing I can do parts included to swap for a session with you x'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 27 September 2017, 04:37:59 pm
Surely it was irresistible to reply "What parts are we talking about exactly?" :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: londonfox on 28 September 2017, 09:14:39 am
Had a text at 00.37am this morning (fucking go to bed) saying
"Christ if I wanted to see armpit and leg hair then i would just look in the mirror. Are you some kind of circus freak?"

so... are you gonna book me or...?????

 I hate it when people tempt me into responding angrily because it's not worth it. I just left it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 28 September 2017, 11:03:55 am
Phone call

Him..Hi can I come and see you?
Me..(not feeling it) How old are you?
Him..24
Me..Sorry you are under my age limit
Him..(getting arsy)What? Well what's your age limit?
Me..Doesn't really matter does it as its over 24
Him..Awww, come on love I'm only round the corner.
Me..Click

4 reasons right there why he wont get a booking
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 28 September 2017, 08:51:30 pm
Phone call from a pleasant but a bit clueless sounding bloke, asked for postcode so sent one nearby. Now received 5 photos of myself that he?s screenshotted from my AW profile to ?let me know what turns him on? and asked my pensioner rate. Then when I text explaining my pensioner rates were the same as everyone else?s, he said he?s looking forward to seeing me soon. I explained he has to book via the phone, and hasn?t yet, so how can he look forward to seeing me soon?  :FF


Sending me photos of myself that he?s stolen from my AW account and asking for a discount means I?ll likely decline even if he did ring.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 29 September 2017, 05:22:45 am
?Wanna make 300 an hour if so can you do a trial run to see you perform x?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 29 September 2017, 01:58:31 pm
Quote from: babyblue on 27 September 2017, 04:26:42 pm
Haha anyone want this one?

'Hi hope you are well, I'm an electrician and all round handy man if you have anything that needs doing I can do parts included to swap for a session with you x'

Got a leak and a broken window but my landlord has already got someone booked to do it, ah what a shame!

Got another 'couple' booking, he was happy to give me her number to talk to her but I wasnt allowed to tell her about him seeing me for 15mins to 'see if I was alright' because it might upset her? Why would she be happy for me to see them together? Why not let -her-book me for 15mins to 'try me out'?

Put myself as seeing men only from now on. Bloody 'couple bookings'  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 29 September 2017, 05:37:37 pm
Quote from: geordie on 29 September 2017, 05:22:45 am
?Wanna make 300 an hour if so can you do a trial run to see you perform x?


Please !!! Where do these clowns  come from ?!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 29 September 2017, 06:33:49 pm
Pointless email:

Hi Hun how?s you ? Could I possibly ask you a cheeky question ?

Needless to say it didn't get a response
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bobbisux on 30 September 2017, 08:48:22 am
Even more pointless one to me this morning:

'Hey? xx'

That really does tell me a lot doesn't it! ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seleranda on 30 September 2017, 10:36:12 am
Another from the pointless one-liners brigade. An email (not on AW):

"Subject: Call

Sent from my iPhone"

So many details it was exhausting reading everything. Oh, notice the lack of a phone number on the email haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 30 September 2017, 11:19:57 am
Wanker: now?
Me: excuse me?
Wanker: ????
Me: until you learn some manners, I won?t be accepting a booking from you, thanks.

And blocked. Bellend.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 01 October 2017, 05:18:38 pm
First time ever in an area obviously the TWs are out in force...latest one...

Moron: So I saw you on AW and wondered what your prices were?

Me: They are on my profile, pretty obvious really

Moron: I was just checking they are the same (eh   ::) )

Me: Oh I see yes they are.

Moron: So do you do any Special Requests?

Me: What do you mean Special Requests, what's on my profile is what I offer ( losing patience now)

Moron: Well do you do Requests like 15 minute booking requests?

Me: What does it say on my Profile (enjoying myself now - have never offered this)

Moron: Yes I know but I was still just checking whether you did Special Requests like that.

Me: No I don't and I don't think I'm what you're looking for, goodbye (More importantly he's not what I'm looking for in a client...)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mya888 on 02 October 2017, 07:37:36 am
Quote from: SimplySinful on 01 October 2017, 05:18:38 pm
First time ever in an area obviously the TWs are out in force...latest one...

Moron: So I saw you on AW and wondered what your prices were?

Me: They are on my profile, pretty obvious really

Moron: I was just checking they are the same (eh   ::) )

Me: Oh I see yes they are.

Moron: So do you do any Special Requests?

Me: What do you mean Special Requests, what's on my profile is what I offer ( losing patience now)

Moron: Well do you do Requests like 15 minute booking requests?

Me: What does it say on my Profile (enjoying myself now - have never offered this)

Moron: Yes I know but I was still just checking whether you did Special Requests like that.

Me: No I don't and I don't think I'm what you're looking for, goodbye (More importantly he's not what I'm looking for in a client...)

What an idiot  :FF

I got this just before midnight
"Postcode baby"  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 02 October 2017, 11:29:55 am
Idiot Hey (my working name) no need for white men only. A black gentle man like myself can book and fuk you toi.

(Yeah if I wanted to see clients from my own race I would have mentioned I see men from all shades of the rainbow. You right there fool is one of the many reason I don't see my own brothers. )  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 02 October 2017, 01:49:28 pm
I've had a weird situation with a man who's had a stroke. He keeps apologising for his speech, but it's actually OK. He rang last week and again last week. He's also sent a lot of texts, to the extent I had to tell him to stop last week. Last night it was a bad line, but he basically wanted to come round after 10pm (he called at 9) for a cheaper, non-sex booking. I said straight away I wasn't working again until Wednesday (time of the month). He then started haggling over my normal vs non-sex rate, wanting a hand job or a 'tiny bit' of oral - I said no, that would only be in my normal rate.

Put the phone down - eventually - and he started texting as if we had a booking later! Then got arsey saying I'd changed my mind, even though I'd told him umpteen times I wasn't working.

Anyway, I know it sounds horrible re. his stroke, but I just don't trust him re. discretion. I can imagine him turning up at random or knocking on neighbours' doors etc. He also said he was wealthy, yet he's quibbling over 20 quid for a 30m booking re. receiving oral or HJ? And the final straw - he wanted to French kiss ALL THE TIME. Bleurgh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: baijiu on 04 October 2017, 12:23:32 pm
First phone call this morning:

Him: Hi
Me: Hi, how are you?
Him: How much?
Me: ?uh, for how long?
Him: an hour
Me: [my rate]
Him: What services?

I hung up. Normally I would've gone over it, but I'm just not in the mood today! I don't spend money on advertising and list all my services on my website/AW/VS/BP for fun!

Also by text last night:

Me: Hi, sorry I missed your call, please call back at your convenience
Him: Can I lick your beauitiful pussy
Him: And do you do oral without condom okay
Me: No I don't. I make this clear on my adverts.
Him: Okay so oral with and straight sex
Me: Yes, and receiving oral
Him: How about licking the pussy nicely
Me: Sure. Would you like to book?
Him: How about in my house at Heathrow
Me: I'm not doing out calls in this area.
Him: Okay I  have the money for 2hours but I am a black gentle man and I have a big dick and long but but I know how to fuck nicely and licking the pussy nicely and smoothly .is it okay
Me: Sorry, I'm only offering incall bookings of up to 1hr (bit of a fib but I hate RO and didn't feel like handling a "big dick" for two hours)
Him: Okay 1hour but as I told you please okay for you? Big dick but and smooth
Me: Yes, no problem. What is your name and what time would you like to come along?
Him: Okay first of all what nationality are you and which size are the breasts and bums
Me: *block number*

Wasted ?1.40 on that little debacle. My measurements and photos are on my advert! Why didn't he ask upfront before going through the palava of trying to book?  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 04 October 2017, 07:45:10 pm
I would have blocked after his first line. Beautiful pussy indeed! I have a beautiful pussy ... cat and I don't think she'd appreciate being licked!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 05 October 2017, 04:06:25 pm
Him:Hi how are you?
Me:Fine thanks and you?
Him:Yeah good thanks are you alright to have a chat?
Me:Yes
Him:Are you sure it's a good time to chat?
Me:Yes it's fine
Him:So how are you?
Me:(Eyes glazing over)Fine as I said earlier!
Him:So how old are you?
Me:(Sighing quietly)It tells you that on my profile.
Him:Oh er you have lovely photos
Me:Thanks
Him:You have a nice body is it ok to say that?
Me:Yes.Look is there something I can help you with?Are you making a booking enquiry?
Him:Er I wanted a chat...
Me:We've had a chat what other sort of chat did you want?
Him:A sexy one is that ok?
Me:When I charge 100 an hour for my time do you think I'll say it's ok for you to have a free sex chat with me?
Him:Er er
Me:Feck off Assclown!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 06 October 2017, 12:07:40 pm
I seem to be getting all the dickheads since I've come back from holiday!
Him:Hey! (He's sent this before which I have ignored but thought I'd see what he wanted!)
Me:Hello there
Him:I was wondering if you would be interested in my services.I am new to Leeds and for today my services are free.I'll do anything yoi want.
Me:I'm sure your 'services' are free today but mine are not.
Him:Can't you give me a chance?You can relax and I'll do all the work
Me:I get to relax most times and I get paid
Him:Ok well the truth is I'm a virgin and want some experience
Me:Well book and pay like everyone else and stop making a fool of yourself asking sex workers for freebies but don't book me,you are already screened out for behaving like a massive dick.Bye
Him:Okay 
 :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 06 October 2017, 12:25:07 pm
Him: Hello is that Alison?
Me: Yes it is
Him: Can I ask what you look like?
Me: If you have this number you will know what I look like as all my adverts have up to date photos
Him: I was given your number by a friend so ive not seen any pictures
Me (while thinking ffs): Ok what did your friend say about me?
Him: He said you are an escort and you are cheap
Me: How cheap did he say I was?
Him: *quotes 1/4 of my rate*
Me: right your so called mate has lied to you as I charge *tells him my full rates*
Him: Im just looking at your photos and theres no way you are worth that amount
Me: goodbye!

What a little shit!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 06 October 2017, 02:56:54 pm
'Subject:   An admirer


Her style in words and pictures show,
With curves and dress leave feelings so,
With sun and travel she gives you taunt,
Her emotions deep her longing want,
What sweet voice have this beauty must,
To take control your inner lust,
And bring you chance her way so keen,
To find out more this Sri Lankan Queen...



To you madam I bid hello, don't worry, you have not a strange one nor a stalker lol, your profile has had much attention, and to give anything less than appreciation for such efforts would be an insult.

I wonder how late you see people, i'm a late riser and wonder when is the last booking you take at night if I was to be wanton in your company for an hour?

Not tonight but in general that I may plan a visit if you would have me to your palace.

I live in the South Side too, I await for your return.....

xxx'

Okay first of all SIR, I am not a whore of yore from times gone past???? Did he think he could woo me with those rhyming couplets? Nay you insult me. I bite my thumb at you, sir.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 06 October 2017, 03:37:43 pm
It makes me laugh just how stupid some men think we are  ;D

Phone rings from a guy who asks my location. Then he says he wants to buy my used knickers. How much do I charge. I said two pairs will cost ?10.

Okay. Am I wearing any now? Yes  ::)

How about he comes round to watch me take them off and he'll give me a 20 and go.

Yeeeeah right, mate. I'm that desperate! Don't think so somehow!

Sounded a right pretentious prat too  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Treetop on 06 October 2017, 04:39:47 pm
Omg... 😂   this has to be the best worst one I've seen!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 06 October 2017, 05:02:55 pm
Yet another freebie hunter!!!First of all he answers a shout from downstairs and then says it's his mum!Then he asks if it's a non rush service because he wants 90 mins and then ummed and aahed because I told him if he pays for 90 mins he gets 90 mins (obviously thought because he claimed to be visually impaired I'd give him extra time!)Then when I told him the price for 90 mins he ummed and aahed and decided on an hour (he reckoned he couldn't read the rates due to his impairment yet he could read where I was based and the fact I offer 90 mins in the first place!).
I asked him to confirm on the day and told him my rough location,he told me he would be getting off at the bus station which is a landmark of mine anyway so I explained it was a 3 min walk and I could direct him from there but he wanted me to be more specific with my address..er nope!The cherry on the timewaster cake though was him asking if I could call him and 'tease' him as he was on his way over cos honest he would def be showing up!I bluntly told him that teasing and anything else happened in his paid for time and as he couldn't seem to grasp that we would be leaving it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: dalish on 06 October 2017, 06:10:37 pm
So most of my stupids have jut been the standard morons that don't read my profile, but I finally got a chap that takes the cake!

"what of these things are you okay with if any.

face spitting,
face slapping
face fucking
spanking
smoking a joint while you deepthroat/facefuck
flicking ash over you while verbally degrading( cold ash)"

If anyone wants him, he's all yours ladies! I mean, I'd take this charmer up myself but I need to wash my hair.  For the next six months.   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 07 October 2017, 12:02:44 am
Today I had

Do you smoke weed babes?

I replied why on earth would I want to smoke drugs with a stranger and why on earth would I want to smoke dugs when I am pregnant?

He replied sorry I didn't think about that part.


DONT SUPPOSE YOU DID YOU FUCKING RETARD
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 07 October 2017, 07:47:39 am
Quote from: English natural beauty on 07 October 2017, 12:02:44 am
Today I had

Do you smoke weed babes?

I replied why on earth would I want to smoke drugs with a stranger and why on earth would I want to smoke dugs when I am pregnant?

He replied sorry I didn't think about that part.


DONT SUPPOSE YOU DID YOU FUCKING RETARD

What a piggin' numpty.

Me:- hello (me) speaking?
Him:- yeawhereyou (literally said just like that)
Me:- pardon?
Him:- whereyou
Me:- Come again? (I know what he has said I'm trying to make him realise this!)
Him:- whereyou
Me:- that's not going to get you a booking is it?
Him:- yea 'iight bye...
Me:-  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 07 October 2017, 07:49:38 pm
Just had some guy send me the most ridiculous email with a poem he had clearly wttiirn himself  I cringe  at it .
He is not getting any booking .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jo-jo on 07 October 2017, 11:07:52 pm
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Quote from: Lucie268 on 06 October 2017, 02:56:54 pm
'Subject:   An admirer


Her style in words and pictures show,
With curves and dress leave feelings so,
With sun and travel she gives you taunt,
Her emotions deep her longing want,
What sweet voice have this beauty must,
To take control your inner lust,
And bring you chance her way so keen,
To find out more this Sri Lankan Queen...



To you madam I bid hello, don't worry, you have not a strange one nor a stalker lol, your profile has had much attention, and to give anything less than appreciation for such efforts would be an insult.

I wonder how late you see people, i'm a late riser and wonder when is the last booking you take at night if I was to be wanton in your company for an hour?

Not tonight but in general that I may plan a visit if you would have me to your palace.

I live in the South Side too, I await for your return.....

xxx'

Okay first of all SIR, I am not a whore of yore from times gone past???? Did he think he could woo me with those rhyming couplets? Nay you insult me. I bite my thumb at you, sir.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 08 October 2017, 08:21:15 am
Quote from: jo-jo on 07 October 2017, 11:07:52 pm
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Jojo  yours was as tacky as mine lol !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic Masseuse on 08 October 2017, 09:16:43 am
I hAd a guy who turned up at my apartment MAIN door (I didnt tell him which block I was in) asked him to go to the meter (where I have a clear view) and he said hold on I just need to park up then BAFFLED MUCH ? 5 seconds later he says yep I am ready, I asked is he not going to buy a ticket he saiid no I dont need one Im a trader..........he was dumb founded that I terminated the booking  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Funkymonkey on 08 October 2017, 09:38:09 am
Previously someone made a same day booking for 30 mins wanting anal then 10 minutes before the booking he asks 'are pictures/videos included?' Certainly not for a first timer for 30 minutes!! Then instead of being up front and saying 'oh I better cancel' he's like, well I don't want to create an atmosphere, don't want to haggle. Saved him as time wasting c**t. I think he did this before but I didn't save his number that time.

He text on Friday asking for a booking. I said 'well since you're saved in my phone as time wasting c**t then I doubt it.'

Him: 'I think you've got the wrong person but I understand if you're not free xx'

Kind of wish I'd taken his booking to see if he did it again. (But sent him somewhere else whoops)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 08 October 2017, 01:26:43 pm
My work phone has been off a couple of days due to illness. I switch it back it to find this:

?if fuck you good 😈?

Feels a bit puzzled then sees the next text

I?d

Form an orderly queue ladies, how can you resist such overwhelming charm?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 09 October 2017, 11:52:51 am
Are you about pal?


Wtf
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 09 October 2017, 12:27:00 pm
Quote from: GothGirl on 09 October 2017, 11:52:51 am
Are you about pal?


Wtf

I cant decide if thats worse that babe, sexy, bby or baby lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 09 October 2017, 12:30:22 pm
Quote from: Alison381 on 09 October 2017, 12:27:00 pm
I cant decide if thats worse that babe, sexy, bby or baby lol

I've had " mates " , several times ... I'm 45 years old   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 09 October 2017, 12:58:51 pm
Quote from: GothGirl on 09 October 2017, 11:52:51 am
Are you about pal?


Wtf

Was that in Scotland, its quite a common saying/endearment there
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: baijiu on 09 October 2017, 01:39:59 pm
At least this one was by email so it didn't cost me anything?

AW idiot: after 45 minutes/80 pounds
Blowjob/hand job
No smoke/perfume smell
French kiss
OK today?
X

Me: I don't offer 45 minutes and if I did it wouldn't be for half my hourly rate.

AW idiot: shame love an edgy GFE with u x


Can someone enlighten me as to what an 'edgy GFE' entails?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 09 October 2017, 01:46:04 pm
Quote from: baijiu on 09 October 2017, 01:39:59 pm
At least this one was by email so it didn't cost me anything?

AW idiot: after 45 minutes/80 pounds
Blowjob/hand job
No smoke/perfume smell
French kiss
OK today?
X

Me: I don't offer 45 minutes and if I did it wouldn't be for half my hourly rate.

AW idiot: shame love an edgy GFE with u x


Can someone enlighten me as to what an 'edgy GFE' entails?

I'd guess he's referring to edging, but I could be wrong x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cheeky_Tori on 09 October 2017, 01:49:34 pm
Him on text: Hi just wondering if you'd consider an outcall to North Wales
Me: I could if my travel is covered for a minimum of 2 hours booking
Him: would you do 15 mins for ?80?

Omfg I live in Manchester  :o :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: baijiu on 09 October 2017, 02:04:36 pm
Quote from: LisaLisa on 09 October 2017, 01:46:04 pm
I'd guess he's referring to edging, but I could be wrong x

Oh, perhaps. Well, I wouldn't have been the girl for him anyway! He continued being a moron so I ended up blocking him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: oleyoleyWG on 09 October 2017, 02:13:01 pm
Hi can you tell me what i would recive for ?(my rate) erm what do u think u will receive ffs are they really that daft my profile says everything i do and dont do. im getting really irritated today x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 09 October 2017, 03:41:44 pm
A bloke who called back in July,called me again today.I ignored his call as I was in the middle of something so he texted asking if I was working today and then asking if I do quickies said yes to both and told him the price.Heard nothing back and got on with what I was doing.He then tried to ring again so I told him I couldn't take a call right now but I could text.
Heard nothing for over an hour at which point I was on a train and so couldn't answer calls,he then repeatedly called then sent a text informing me I wasn't answering the phone and he was confirming his booking!Rang him back and asked him what he was confirming exactly as no times were mentioned and he hadn't replied to my text and indeed had persistently rung even though told not to!
He wanted to know if I did massage (in a fucking 15 min quickie!) and what services I do...I pointed out we had had the same conversation back in July and nothing had changed,it still told you what I did on my ads so no need to tyrekick again!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 09 October 2017, 04:04:40 pm
Quote from: baijiu on 09 October 2017, 01:39:59 pm
At least this one was by email so it didn't cost me anything?

AW idiot: after 45 minutes/80 pounds
Blowjob/hand job
No smoke/perfume smell
French kiss
OK today?
X

Me: I don't offer 45 minutes and if I did it wouldn't be for half my hourly rate.

AW idiot: shame love an edgy GFE with u x


Can someone enlighten me as to what an 'edgy GFE' entails?

I've had this one emails me so have some of my friends. He sends out the same messages to lots of girls to see who will accept his 'offers' sounds like an overly demanding  rude peice of Shit. I had a right go at him and said look you have messaged the same thing to a lots of my friends aswell and your insulting negotiating our rates now piss off. He's a dick
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 09 October 2017, 04:10:13 pm
Uh oh, had someone calling asking me to Facetime him. The idiots are really coming out to play today.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 09 October 2017, 04:41:12 pm
Text  would you see me for ?40.00 ?
(My 30 min rate is 60.00 )
You just don't bother do you lol !!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 09 October 2017, 05:40:16 pm
Got a call an hour ago, seemed ok at first then when I asked what time he wanted to see if I could do it he said oh about 9 or 10pm? I don't take bookings after 8pm unless I know the man. I kept it going as was almost sure he was a tw but wanted to be sure so asked how long he would want to book for. An hour or maybe more. I said sorry I could not meet him as he had not read my website details. Then the text arrived, no problem baby I can choose from so many others online.

I somehow think he will be out of luck but probably no intention of meeting any woman.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 09 October 2017, 05:56:48 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 09 October 2017, 12:58:51 pm
Was that in Scotland, its quite a common saying/endearment there

No, SW England x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 09 October 2017, 05:57:56 pm
?Could you dress me up in swimming armbands and a swim ring & make cuts to my penis & more?





Where?s my bloody wine.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 09 October 2017, 08:23:16 pm
Ijit 1:- Hi, can I book you to sick my cock and deep throgt my cock then in put it in your ass and then what do love cum in mouth or face?


Me:- Well I could (HS) in your mouth and then (it gets graphic) and to finish up (something involving his first spelling mistake) on you.

I love doing that :)

Ijit 2:- b&j for ?25?

Me:- blimey, bit expensive for some Ben and jerrys if you ask me, I wouldn't bother.

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 09 October 2017, 08:29:54 pm
Quote from: Shwiftysquancher91 on 09 October 2017, 08:23:16 pm

Ijit 2:- b&j for ?25?

Me:- blimey, bit expensive for some Ben and jerrys if you ask me, I wouldn't bother.

 :FF

Ya ha ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic Masseuse on 10 October 2017, 12:42:32 am
Call and keep saying erm...erm...erm ... then give a full low down of their days schedule to decide what time they can make it, then check what I offer then check the price meanwhile there's 15 missed calls that I  want to get back to before my next booking arrives  :FF :FF :FF

This brings out the worst in me
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 10 October 2017, 07:20:33 am
Quote from: Erotic Masseuse on 10 October 2017, 12:42:32 am
Call and keep saying erm...erm...erm ... then give a full low down of their days schedule to decide what time they can make it, then check what I offer then check the price meanwhile there's 15 missed calls that I  want to get back to before my next booking arrives  :FF :FF :FF

This brings out the worst in me

I hate those too. The ones who um and ah constantly  :FF Why do they bother phoning?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Worried93 on 11 October 2017, 06:20:18 pm
"Is my new little fuck slut available."
Sent twice.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 11 October 2017, 09:52:45 pm
Idiot number 1 phones asking for a booking when I was finished for the day so told him so, he asked if I knew anyone else in Berwick (I?m nowhere near Berwick). Asked why he thought I was there and where he got my number, he reckons he phoned an escort from the Yellow Pages. Didn?t know my name. I?m not on the Yellow Pages  ???

Idiot number 2: Hi have you had any problems taking a heavy cummer in your mouth before?
I don?t offer cim  :FF

Always get the weirdos on a Wednesday  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 12 October 2017, 02:10:04 am
Will yiu do a meet, greet, drink and blow in a pub in xxx if so how much I will buy the drink?

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 13 October 2017, 02:29:27 pm
Just got this delight on AW....

Hi,

I was wondering if you had a number to contact you on for a booking or do you prefer everything to done via aw?
Are you happy with outcalls to Leeds?
Do you offer bareback, cum inside and french kissing and would these be included in your price or extra?

Thanks xx

As my profile states not once but twice that I dont do bareback and I only work in the Leeds area it makes me wonder if this guy can even read
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 13 October 2017, 03:09:05 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 12 October 2017, 02:10:04 am
Will yiu do a meet, greet, drink and blow in a pub in xxx if so how much I will buy the drink?

 ::)
This reminded me
Once asked to a bar in the hotel premier inn  I sat in car until I  got  a text saying  can I do  it in the loo  luv . I drove off  waste of time
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 13 October 2017, 08:32:06 pm
A tedious long winded email from an obviously insincere fantasist with 0 feedback.


Hi, you have a great profile and look and sound amazing. I have a friend who has a stag coming up and I've been asked on behalf of the group to seek out a unique experience for the groom to be.

If this is not for you I am sorry to have wasted your time. However, if it's something you would or could consider (feel free to make suggestions if you want things to work differently) then please read on as a few of the guys are definitely interested in your services.

We had in mind a group sex session with you. This would involve up to 10 to 12 guys (including the groom to be).

The fantasy and thus theme for the event is group sex with a pregnant lady.

The guys are keen on French Kissing and OWO. That's the only specific requests. Apart from that we are happy to work with what you offer.

Given you are pregnant, I thought it best for you to have one on one sex with each one at a time (say 15 to 30 mins per guy). It's a GFE they each want but they seek that with a pregnant lady as that's what would make it special and memorable.

So my question is could you handle up to12 guys for the event?

Position wise I presume missionary and doggie is all that would be required, and all they expect as extras is French Kissing and OWO as I mentioned.

All guys would be respectful and gentle with you as we respect you are pregnant and want you to remain comfortable and safe so please be assured no issue there. What would be great though is if you could make each sex session with each guy more intimate and special though by making it feel passionate and more akin to love making. So let each guy caress your body and pregnant belly etc.

How far pregnant are you now and are you able to engage in sexual penetration?

Feel free to ask any questions you may have and please let me know asapif this is something you could accommodate or at least consider and we can work with you to arrange an experience you would feel comfortable to provide.

I look forward to hearing back from you asap. Thanks xxx
 

 :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Erotic Masseuse on 14 October 2017, 10:42:52 am
ask questions that are on the profile, ask if available today when paying for available today............I am SICK and TIRED of the constant stupid texts every  morning  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: oleyoleyWG on 14 October 2017, 10:02:22 pm
Quote from: Erotic Masseuse on 14 October 2017, 10:42:52 am
ask questions that are on the profile, ask if available today when paying for available today............I am SICK and TIRED of the constant stupid texts every  morning  :FF
i know it really pisses me off i get at least 10 texts saying are u available today? Do they think we pay for it for a joke  :FF every text i get now i just say call to book, ive had enough xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 14 October 2017, 10:49:05 pm
Yet another ridiculous message

Hey, It's Jay, How You Doing ? I Got Your Number Off A Adult Website, I Was Just Wondering If Your Interested in Coke, Mdma, Weed Or Even Viagra? I Deliver All Over London 24Hours 7 Days A Week And For A Big Order Can Even Deliver Outside Of London, I Am Willing To Deliver Testers Completely Free Of Charge, So You Can Try Before You Buy And My PriceList Is TopShelf Coke ?100, Standard Coke ?60, Mdma ?40, 3.5G Weed ?50 And Viagra ?25,  I Can Send You Pictures And Videos Of My Products On Request

Reported reported reported. Absolute wanker.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 17 October 2017, 12:06:16 pm
Confused:Hi how are you?
Me:Fine thanks
Him:Can we meet up any time soon?
Me:This afternoon or early evening?
Him:So tomorrow then?
Me:Erm yeah if you don't want to meet today?
Him:I want domination
Me:I don't offer that.
Him:I don't really want that I want GFE and food fetish
Me:So why are you asking about domination?
Him:(Stupid laugh)I don't know,I don't know what it is,I just want to get with you.
Me:So you thought you would ask for a fairly specialises thing that is not mentioned on my profile and claim you don't know what it is?
Him:Well what about food it's not a fetish I just want food
Me:So food sex then?
Him:Well no I didn't say that
Me:Maybe ring me back when you know what you want and you have had a think.Block...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 17 October 2017, 12:16:48 pm
 :FF :FF :FF :FF he was seriously  confused !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 17 October 2017, 01:55:01 pm
Him - are you 100% real and genuine?
Me - of course  :)
Him - have you got WhatsApp?
Me - if you are not convinced it?s not my problem. I?m not giving out personal information or my WhatsApp (as it?s on my personal phone ergo giving out personal info) in order to convince you.
Block

Maybe harsh but I feel like giving out WhatsApp is an invite to the grand ping pong text tournament. Besides as I say it?s on my personal phone :) 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 17 October 2017, 02:42:07 pm
Quote from: Shwiftysquancher91 on 17 October 2017, 01:55:01 pm
Him - are you 100% real and genuine?
Me - of course  :)
Him - have you got WhatsApp?
Me - if you are not convinced it?s not my problem. I?m not giving out personal information or my WhatsApp (as it?s on my personal phone ergo giving out personal info) in order to convince you.
Block

Maybe harsh but I feel like giving out WhatsApp is an invite to the grand ping pong text tournament. Besides as I say it?s on my personal phone :)

My last phonecall was like that from someone who didn't confirm. His first question was am I the girl in my pictures?

Always, ALWAYS a timewaster! Never had a genuine enquiry yet who has asked me that question  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 17 October 2017, 02:45:06 pm
Quote from: Shwiftysquancher91 on 17 October 2017, 01:55:01 pm
...the grand ping pong text tournament...
Ya ha ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 17 October 2017, 04:04:12 pm
Can you send me a face picture please  texted
Nooooo...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 17 October 2017, 05:26:55 pm
Numpty:Er yeah are you available like er now?
Me:I'm available in 20 mins
Him:Er so like where in Leeds are you?
Me:The city centre
Him:Is there parking nearby?
Me:(Explains parking)
Him:Aw do you know what I don't really feel like coming to the city centre in rush hour
Me:So why didn't you check my location on my profile before ringing,strikes me you are literally going to be wasting alot of time before finding someone where you want them?
Him:Well your profile is long...
Me:It's about 3 paragraphs with location etc highlighted and prominent...
Him:Well maybe another time
Phone down and blocked..knob!! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 17 October 2017, 10:07:14 pm
Subject: French Kissing

Hi
Adres and time plz
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 18 October 2017, 07:30:58 am
By stating their dick is 6 and a half inches and will it be big enough.

By asking in the text that he hopes 'we can come to some sort of arrangement' what is he  on about!! Just make an appointment will you lol.  Although I won't make any to guys who harp on about willy size.  I assume they are all timewasters and won't show up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 18 October 2017, 02:55:20 pm
Try to convince me to do bareback because he's 48. Because he's 48, he's safe. OK...  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emily1234 on 18 October 2017, 03:03:52 pm
Message:
 When and where
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emily1234 on 18 October 2017, 03:04:25 pm
Message:
- when and where
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 18 October 2017, 07:12:57 pm
Quote from: Lushblossom on 18 October 2017, 07:30:58 am
By stating their dick is 6 and a half inches and will it be big enough.

By asking in the text that he hopes 'we can come to some sort of arrangement' what is he  on about!! Just make an appointment will you lol.  Although I won't make any to guys who harp on about willy size.  I assume they are all timewasters and won't show up.


Ooh he probably thinks you will be so impressed by his  size .. :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 19 October 2017, 08:34:50 am
Missed call followed by a text at 5.05am this morning

"Morning Lisa hope you're feeling good this morning :) would love to meet up one night for a drink let me know xx"

You're on the wrong website mate  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 19 October 2017, 09:56:51 am
When they ring claiming their cock is 11 inches long and is it too big as they have been turned away in the past.

Yeh right pull the other one!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 19 October 2017, 10:52:49 am
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 09 July 2017, 06:33:49 pm
Tell him yes you got plenty of Lego at home.
Lmfao  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 19 October 2017, 11:02:15 am
Quote from: LisaLisa on 19 October 2017, 08:34:50 am
Missed call followed by a text at 5.05am this morning

"Morning Lisa hope you're feeling good this morning :) would love to meet up one night for a drink let me know xx"

You're on the wrong website mate  :FF

I got one like that last week

Text exchange
Him: Hi Alison Ive just seen your profile on adultwork. Can you meet for a socail date tonight?
Me: Hello. I don't take bookings via text message. Can you give me a call please?

Phone call
Him: Hello Alison. So id like to take you to the pub. Ill pay for all your drinks.
Me: I don't drink alcohol however if you just want a socail meet and not sex id would be happy to sit with you while you drink. Did you see my rates for socail meets?
Him: What you on about rates?
Me: What do you mean?
Him: I pay for sex not to take you to the pub
Me: You pay me for my time and my rates for socail meets are cheaper
Him: Its OK I'll ring someone else
Me: Good luck finding an escort to meet you at the pub for free.... You might want to try plenty of fish instead of adult work.
Him: Fuck you stuck up cow!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 19 October 2017, 11:46:49 am
Quote from: Alison381 on 19 October 2017, 11:02:15 am
I got one like that last week

Text exchange
Him: Hi Alison Ive just seen your profile on adultwork. Can you meet for a socail date tonight?
Me: Hello. I don't take bookings via text message. Can you give me a call please?

Phone call
Him: Hello Alison. So id like to take you to the pub. Ill pay for all your drinks.
Me: I don't drink alcohol however if you just want a socail meet and not sex id would be happy to sit with you while you drink. Did you see my rates for socail meets?
Him: What you on about rates?
Me: What do you mean?
Him: I pay for sex not to take you to the pub
Me: You pay me for my time and my rates for socail meets are cheaper
Him: Its OK I'll ring someone else
Me: Good luck finding an escort to meet you at the pub for free.... You might want to try plenty of fish instead of adult work.
Him: Fuck you stuck up cow!

Lol what an idiot.  Some of them really think we're looking for a white knight to "save" us don't they?  Yes we just have the time to miss out on bookings to come "hang" with you guys.   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 19 October 2017, 05:28:18 pm
New one today

Text message an hour ago

"Hi freer"

Nothing since  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jo-jo on 20 October 2017, 02:51:44 pm

Phone call
Him: Hello Alison. So id like to take you to the pub. Ill pay for all your drinks.
Me: I don't drink alcohol however if you just want a socail meet and not sex id would be happy to sit with you while you drink. Did you see my rates for socail meets?
Him: What you on about rates?
Me: What do you mean?
Him: I pay for sex not to take you to the pub
Me: You pay me for my time and my rates for socail meets are cheaper
Him: Its OK I'll ring someone else
Me: Good luck finding an escort to meet you at the pub for free.... You might want to try plenty of fish instead of adult work.
Him: Fuck you stuck up cow!
[/quote]

WTF??? Can take myself to the pub AND buy my own drinks thank you very much. What an arse.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lalalondon on 21 October 2017, 08:36:18 am


Anyone else had this?

Hi my names Dave, I?m a bit of a loser, not very good around woman, interested?

Hmm, well when you put it like that.. not really no!
Some people really do t know how to sell themselves!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 22 October 2017, 12:07:37 am
Quote from: Lalalondon on 21 October 2017, 08:36:18 am

Anyone else had this?

Hi my names Dave, I?m a bit of a loser, not very good around woman, interested?

Hmm, well when you put it like that.. not really no!
Some people really do t know how to sell themselves!!

Omg I'm dying at this ;D ;D ;D

Seriously what is WRONG with some people?!

What on earth did he expect you to say to that - 'come on over mate and bring me a wet floor sign whilst youre at it' FFS.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 22 October 2017, 12:16:07 am
Him: u free
Me: Nah I'm expensive
Him: Wher r u
Me: Mars
Him: I can cum there wat time
Me: Give me a ring when you get to to NASA and the rockets about to take off
Him: where's tht? U got postcode?

 Honestly it's like talking to a brick wall  :FF ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 22 October 2017, 04:57:46 pm
So I have By Appointment Only & that I require X amount of notice & rough postcode.

So the next person who is 'passing thro' or coming by, asks where I am/what time I work till or how much/how long my appointments are is in danger of being hung, drawn, & quartered.

Edit: For the love of God trying to get a specific time out of these guys is like getting blood out of a,stone  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 22 October 2017, 08:56:01 pm
Him: Can you do anything for ?40 hun
Me: Yes, I can go and buy myself a pair of earrings.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LotusFlower on 22 October 2017, 10:26:29 pm
texts at 11.58pm.... I wasnt working, I received the text in the morning when I woke up.

Client: Good evening, I am a clean, discrete, repsectful 55 year old gentleman. I saw you profile on Adult work and I just love it. You sound like the ideal woman for me to spend some time with (sounds like a good, solid introduction despite the time, no?).

So how about I swing by yours just now for a quick 15 minute booking. There isn't a price on your page for that, so we'll say ?30? (Grave has been dug).

I'll make a longer booking next time, but since it is so late, I'll just dump one on your mouth and go (  :FF )
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 22 October 2017, 10:48:34 pm
Quote from: Veggiegal on 22 October 2017, 10:26:29 pm
texts at 11.58pm.... I wasnt working, I received the text in the morning when I woke up.

Client: Good evening, I am a clean, discrete, repsectful 55 year old gentleman. I saw you profile on Adult work and I just love it. You sound like the ideal woman for me to spend some time with (sounds like a good, solid introduction despite the time, no?).

So how about I swing by yours just now for a quick 15 minute booking. There isn't a price on your page for that, so we'll say ?30? (Grave has been dug).

I'll make a longer booking next time, but since it is so late, I'll just dump one on your mouth and go (  :FF )

He needs his face to be pooped on.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 23 October 2017, 09:13:34 am
"Ive always wanted to see a TGirl, are you available today at 12pm?"

What the hell? I market myself as a mature BBW! Yes I have short hair but still!

I think hes just trying to get a reaction out of me.... Straight on my block list me thinks lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 23 October 2017, 11:11:39 am
Quote from: Veggiegal on 22 October 2017, 10:26:29 pm
texts at 11.58pm.... I wasnt working, I received the text in the morning when I woke up.

Client: Good evening, I am a clean, discrete, repsectful 55 year old gentleman. I saw you profile on Adult work and I just love it. You sound like the ideal woman for me to spend some time with (sounds like a good, solid introduction despite the time, no?).

So how about I swing by yours just now for a quick 15 minute booking. There isn't a price on your page for that, so we'll say ?30? (Grave has been dug).

I'll make a longer booking next time, but since it is so late, I'll just dump one on your mouth and go (  :FF )

Instant image of Tarzan there.  What a nice man he must be, how could you resist?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 23 October 2017, 11:20:52 am
AW email.

Subject:
genuine, cheeky, decent guy

Body:
Hi, how are you? Great profile by the way! Very good! So how you enjoying AW?

So I thought I'd say hi, because I have a flat up your way and I'm on here purely for a relationship. Which I know is proper strange, but I only date women in this industry. I'm not one of these insecure, possessive, jealous, clingy guys who has a problem with you seeing other guys etc. I am absolutely fine with that.

I find women in this industry so much more open, honest, direct. I respect and like that in a person., I want someone like that. So why you single?

I have some pics on my profile. Have a look. Would be great to chat. I'm on WHATSAPP, feel free to drop me a message: 07xxx xxxxxx (add your username).

As if I didn't already realise you've spammed this message to about 400 escorts today.

Form an orderly queue ladies!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 23 October 2017, 12:52:46 pm
Text  strap on ?
Me delete  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 23 October 2017, 07:26:12 pm
Phone call at 7.15
Idiot: are you free now
Me: no, I always need an hours notice but as my profile says, I finish at 8 so done now
Idiot: so I can see you at 8?
Me: no, I finish at 8 but I need an hours notice so it?s too late to make a booking now
Idiot: it?s only 15 minutes difference

No it bloody isn?t when I need an HOURS notice, which means he?d get here 8.15 then I presume he was after an hour which takes my finishing time to 9.15  :FF couldn?t be arsed to explain that so hung up and blocked. Next time I?m just gonna say I?m finished as idiots are easy to confuse.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Funkymonkey on 24 October 2017, 08:42:42 am
Got an email off someone with 4 aliases. One male SS and one male SP... 2 female SS... because they exist....leaving his SP profile feedback like 'omg he's so good at making me cum'. Embarrassing  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 24 October 2017, 09:08:41 am
Him: this Geordie?
Me: yes
Him: oh right, just seen your profile, shame I don?t have the money right not
Me: okay, so why did you ring?
Him: didn?t mean to afterall, you session?

  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 24 October 2017, 09:25:16 am
Quote from: geordie on 24 October 2017, 09:08:41 am
Him: this Geordie?
Me: yes
Him: oh right, just seen your profile, shame I don?t have the money right not
Me: okay, so why did you ring?
Him: didn?t mean to afterall, you session?

  ???

How irritating !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 24 October 2017, 12:02:10 pm
Just received this text....

"Hi Angie, Ive just read your advert and want some info please"

Yeah he obviously read my advert didn't he? The 1st line says "Hello my name is Alison....."

 :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Iloveginandtonic on 25 October 2017, 10:50:20 am
Just had one piss me right off!

Him in a Thick Yorkshire accent ?Where are you?
Me ?Leeds City Centre?
Him ?Well how much is it?

Me ?READ MY PROFILE?  then hung up on him!

 :FF   
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 25 October 2017, 11:50:26 am
Had 2 corkers this morning both off equally stupid people although the first one was cheeky too. Phone rang with enquiry etc. Sounded normal and a nice guy and he asked where exactly I was. Enquired about services and asked how much cos he didn't have my profile in front of him. I'm now irritated and he says I will phone you in 30 mins when I finish work.

I5 minutes later. I live 45 minutes away so if you can do an hour for 80 that would be great.

I ignored but so wanted to respond with - Well, book someone closer then!

Second idiot - Hi, is that Gypsy? Do you escort?
Me: Where did you find my ad?
Him: Adultwork.

Talk about asking stupid questions! He then asked do I offer all services cos he hasn't read my profile  :FF

One of these days I am going to knowingly accept a booking from one of these losers and they ain't going to get out alive! Now I just have to figure out how to commit the perfect murder!  ;D Killing someone is easy, it's the getting away with it that's hard!

These tossers better hope I'm never afraid to go to prison!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 25 October 2017, 01:54:53 pm
I just want to give the next one the postcode to the local  police station   :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 25 October 2017, 04:59:06 pm
Lol or give them the post code to the nearest local prison !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 25 October 2017, 06:10:18 pm
One of these days I am going to knowingly accept a booking from one of these losers and they ain't going to get out alive! Now I just have to figure out how to commit the perfect murder!  ;D Killing someone is easy, it's the getting away with it that's hard!

Do you have a patio?  ;D

Got one today

He  Hi there how much is it?
Me  How much is what?
He  You know, to do it.

Me  Goodbye and thank you for calling.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 25 October 2017, 06:21:25 pm
Quote from: Justine on 25 October 2017, 06:10:18 pm
One of these days I am going to knowingly accept a booking from one of these losers and they ain't going to get out alive! Now I just have to figure out how to commit the perfect murder!  ;D Killing someone is easy, it's the getting away with it that's hard!

Do you have a patio?  ;D

Got one today

He  Hi there how much is it?
Me  How much is what?
He  You know, to do it.

Me  Goodbye and thank you for calling.


No, but I have a concrete back yard. May need to get a builder in to re-pave it all  ;D What I need to do is make sure my victim has a PAYG phone and doesn't use his personal one otherwise the police will track it to my house.

Oh dear. I've clearly been giving this too much thought!  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 25 October 2017, 11:59:19 pm
Received this yesterday at 23.15


Hi beautiful, if you want a little brother or sister for your baby , I'll give you one and take you and your kid on as my own . I'm a mature decent looking 40 something year old hard worker good money and want a happy family with a stunning lady , I'm very choosy with my women . You'll never want form anything and you'll never have to escort again and I'm clean and decent . Haven't yet been with an escort but getting very tempted . Looking forva special beautiful sexy lady to settle down with X
 
Followed by this when I ignored it

You really are a stunning young woman very attractive and you look beautiful as an expecting mother . I'm sure you'll be a fabulous mother to your baby X
I am a fantastic and doting father and would be to yours too , but my daughter , also (inserts the same working name as me) is grown up with a son of her own now X
 

I think this guy has seriously bad mental issues. Delusion? And also needs a  Psychotherapist and counselling. When I read these messages to my partner he simply replied with 'what the Fuck is wrong with people' and why would I want to know his daughter hads the same name that I use as a prostitute?!?! And how would his daughter feel about that?! Bloody headcases.

Also the assumptions he has made are really bloody offensive!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 26 October 2017, 12:47:40 pm
Email on AW this morning

No CIM? what a waste of time

Doing everything I can to stop myself replying "just like you then"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 26 October 2017, 12:54:28 pm
Quote from: kate_x on 26 October 2017, 12:47:40 pm
Email on AW this morning

No CIM? what a waste of time

Doing everything I can to stop myself replying "just like you then"
And yet he only wasted his own time sending that? Literally what was the point of sending that?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 27 October 2017, 08:41:43 am
Text at 1.57am "What you upto x"

Believe it or not...sleeping.   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 27 October 2017, 11:18:48 am
Quote from: LisaLisa on 27 October 2017, 08:41:43 am
Text at 1.57am "What you upto x"

Believe it or not...sleeping.   :FF

When I am in a mood to reply i would of responded with I'M TAKING A SHIT
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 27 October 2017, 11:24:27 am
Quote from: DynamiteDoll on 27 October 2017, 11:18:48 am
When I am in a mood to reply i would of responded with I'M TAKING A SHIT

Hahahaha love it  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 27 October 2017, 04:52:19 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 23 October 2017, 11:20:52 am
AW email.

Subject:
genuine, cheeky, decent guy

Body:
Hi, how are you? Great profile by the way! Very good! So how you enjoying AW?

So I thought I'd say hi, because I have a flat up your way and I'm on here purely for a relationship. Which I know is proper strange, but I only date women in this industry. I'm not one of these insecure, possessive, jealous, clingy guys who has a problem with you seeing other guys etc. I am absolutely fine with that.

I find women in this industry so much more open, honest, direct. I respect and like that in a person., I want someone like that. So why you single?

I have some pics on my profile. Have a look. Would be great to chat. I'm on WHATSAPP, feel free to drop me a message: 07xxx xxxxxx (add your username).

As if I didn't already realise you've spammed this message to about 400 escorts today.

Form an orderly queue ladies!


This one messaged me too. I thought I was special  :P

Must have a bit of money as he said he has a flat near me too. How quaint.   ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 29 October 2017, 05:54:56 pm
Quote from: Shwiftysquancher91 on 27 October 2017, 04:52:19 pm

This one messaged me too. I thought I was special  :P

Must have a bit of money as he said he has a flat near me too. How quaint.   ::)
Maybe be should do a group chat save him.messaging so many  ladies single  open honest and direct!!
How time consuming for him  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 29 October 2017, 09:02:43 pm
On AW...Bloke asks for a booking this coming Friday.
I reply asking him how long for and what time.
His reply:15 mins Your first cock of the day?

And they wonder why they don't get replies! ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Grace D on 30 October 2017, 12:33:15 am
Man: Tell me about your pussy
Me: Er...
Man: I loved bare shaved p...
Me: *Hangs up*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 30 October 2017, 07:17:50 am
Quote from: Grace D on 30 October 2017, 12:33:15 am
Man: Tell me about your pussy
Me: Er...
Man: I loved bare shaved p...
Me: *Hangs up*


I would have said 'I don't own a cat but I'm happy to tell you about my deadly snake and how it sheds its skin and eats small rodents whole? I can even bring him out for you if you wish to book me, you get your snake out and I'll get out mine  ;D'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 30 October 2017, 07:42:43 am
When they email you just past midnight on AW as they see your profile states Available Today.

Do they honestly think that means we are literally ladies working the night??

Or when they email you asking 'When are you available' and you reply and then you hear nothing ever back from them.

Or when they email you about seeing you the following week and then you once again never hear from them again.

Are they for real these men!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Grace D on 30 October 2017, 09:10:39 am
Quote from: Shwiftysquancher91 on 30 October 2017, 07:17:50 am

I would have said 'I don't own a cat but I'm happy to tell you about my deadly snake and how it sheds its skin and eats small rodents whole? I can even bring him out for you if you wish to book me, you get your snake out and I'll get out mine  ;D'

Haha, love it! Or, 'My pussy looks remarkably like a TIGER!'. That should scare him  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 30 October 2017, 11:46:53 am
I definitely would have said "She's a tortoiseshell, she's just turned senior and she's a grumpy bitch. Gets it from me."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 30 October 2017, 02:04:42 pm
Anyone want to take this charmer who just text me?  ;D

"cn I pt ma 8 inchr up ur c*nt? 50"

Not sure if hes asking me to do it for ?50 or if 50 is his age  :FF :FF.... either way its earned him a block from contacting me again
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 30 October 2017, 02:11:50 pm
Someone I have seen a couple of times last year and not too keen to see again texted me yesterday. "You still working these days?" I was not impressed with that so just replied "I am"

He responded "haven't seen you in a while"

That was it. I didn't bother with another text. A pointless text to me really as no booking request. He can see from the bloody internet that I am still working.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 30 October 2017, 02:18:54 pm
And another (joys of having my green light on on AW - the effing TW's do my head in)

"Are you working?"
"Yes I am"
"Address please"
"I don't take bookings via text message. Please call me"
"Cant at the minute I'm with someone"
"OK call me when you are alone then"

2 hours later (10 minutes ago)
"where are you?"
"I'm in Leeds. Can you please follow my booking procedure and call me?"
"I told you I'm with someone. So you are not in west Leeds like your profile on AW says?"
"Yes I am"
"OK can I come now?"
"No I'm just finishing my incalls for today. My incall hours for tomorrow are between 9am and 2pm. If you want to book for then please call me"
"I'm needing today, can you fit me in?"
"I could have done if you called me 2 hours ago like I told you to, however you ignored that. I'm now in a taxi leaving the house I use"
"Doesn't matter you are too hard to book with"

My god whats so hard about "I dont take bookings via text messages" for him to understand?  :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 30 October 2017, 02:51:13 pm
Quote from: Alison381 on 30 October 2017, 02:18:54 pm
And another (joys of having my green light on on AW - the effing TW's do my head in)

"Are you working?"
"Yes I am"
"Address please"
"I don't take bookings via text message. Please call me"
"Cant at the minute I'm with someone"
"OK call me when you are alone then"

2 hours later (10 minutes ago)
"where are you?"
"I'm in Leeds. Can you please follow my booking procedure and call me?"
"I told you I'm with someone. So you are not in west Leeds like your profile on AW says?"
"Yes I am"
"OK can I come now?"
"No I'm just finishing my incalls for today. My incall hours for tomorrow are between 9am and 2pm. If you want to book for then please call me"
"I'm needing today, can you fit me in?"
"I could have done if you called me 2 hours ago like I told you to, however you ignored that. I'm now in a taxi leaving the house I use"
"Doesn't matter you are too hard to book with"

My god whats so hard about "I dont take bookings via text messages" for him to understand?  :FF :FF


I get this all the bloody time. I just text 'please call to discuss', if they say they are busy or can't call at that time I just tell them 'when you are free to call me then do so or I won't ne able to take a booking from you at all' That usually solves the issue either way and I don't text back at all unless they have called. It saves my brain melting in my skull thinking about how much time they'd waste otherwise.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 30 October 2017, 03:43:51 pm
Idiot just now: How much for just a blow job?
Me: eighty pounds your paying for my time not an item on a menu
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 30 October 2017, 08:51:49 pm
Him: Hi sexy mslady x do you want to play tonight in my hotel room x

me: Hello. Could be a possibility. Will need full address of hotel please, when was you thinking and how long for? x

Him: This evening around 10 for 1hour

me: full address of hotel please


and then the usual silence that follows, not the first time hes messaged me like that. I really dont get it?? lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: babyblue on 31 October 2017, 06:25:03 am
Got this gem on AW message last night:

Hi,

I am a angler who goes night fishing.

I have a fantasy where I am joined on one of these trips by a beautiful stranger.

Do you think you can help with this?

Please get in touch.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 31 October 2017, 09:23:35 am
Quote from: babyblue on 31 October 2017, 06:25:03 am
Got this gem on AW message last night:

Hi,

I am a angler who goes night fishing.

I have a fantasy where I am joined on one of these trips by a beautiful stranger.

Do you think you can help with this?

Please get in touch.

Ha - funnily enough I'm within walking distance of a lake that is popular with night fishers: I've always thought it could be fun if it was someone I'd met before, but you'd have to be quiet as the sound wouldn't half travel!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LucyM on 31 October 2017, 01:48:38 pm
It still really annoys me when the guy has clearly not read my profile or website, but still somehow manages to get my mobile number correct  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 31 October 2017, 02:32:21 pm
Phone call
Him, How long for 15 minutes?
Me, you mean how much, its 60
Him, 60?
Me, yes while rolling my eyes
Him, up the arse
Me, hangs up and blocks
 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 31 October 2017, 03:56:21 pm

To whom it may concern,

I?m Corporal Robert ******  and I am currently serving in the British armed forces. I have recently returned from a 9 month overseas deployment. I have returned to the UK early to arrange a Christmas/ welcome home function for the rest of my platoon, who return home just in time for Christmas.

I am emailing you today to ask if your company would care to donate a prize to the raffle that will take place during the function. Any donation, no matter how big or small, would be greatly appreciated and I am certain it would help to boost morale within the platoon after a difficult time away from loved ones.

Also, if you would like to send me leaflets, business cards or catalogues then I would happily distribute them around the accommodation and dining facility to promote your company.

Thank you for taking the time to read this email and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Kind regards


Rob ******
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 31 October 2017, 03:57:37 pm
Was that via AW?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 31 October 2017, 04:25:40 pm
Phone call, all the usual blurb, how far are you from X, what time are you free....establish a time...then

Me: How long would you like?

Him: Half an hour for X

Me: I don?t do half hours (due to current touring location only doing 1 hr plus which is clear on my profile  :FF

Him: Half hour for X Half hour for X (more money)

Me: No darling I hour, it?s clear on my profile.

Him. So the minimum is X? Can you tell me what services you provide for it?

Me: No you can read all that on my profile.

Clearly the numptie had not read ANYTHING, was just a cheapskate and hadn?t read what I provided  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 31 October 2017, 04:27:40 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 31 October 2017, 03:57:37 pm
Was that via AW?!

Yeh  :( told him he was clearly on the wrong website if he?s looking for donations.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 31 October 2017, 05:22:33 pm
Quote from: GothGirl on 31 October 2017, 04:27:40 pm
Yeh  :( told him he was clearly on the wrong website if he?s looking for donations.
And leaflets & catalogues  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lalalondon on 31 October 2017, 07:19:53 pm
Quote from: babyblue on 31 October 2017, 06:25:03 am
Got this gem on AW message last night:

Hi,

I am a angler who goes night fishing.

I have a fantasy where I am joined on one of these trips by a beautiful stranger.

Do you think you can help with this?

Please get in touch.

Had exactly the same message!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lalalondon on 31 October 2017, 07:20:07 pm
Quote from: babyblue on 31 October 2017, 06:25:03 am
Got this gem on AW message last night:

Hi,

I am a angler who goes night fishing.

I have a fantasy where I am joined on one of these trips by a beautiful stranger.

Do you think you can help with this?

Please get in touch.

Had exactly the same message!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Funkymonkey on 31 October 2017, 09:32:39 pm
?Hey where are you?
I?m X location south.
Ok that?s quite far from me I?m in the north...
(Why is that my issue??)
?What?s your profile name again??

*hangs up*

Twat. Even if you have forgotten my name don?t tell me that!!! Haha.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ThirdCoastGal on 01 November 2017, 02:00:59 am
Quote from: English natural beauty on 13 October 2017, 08:32:06 pm
A tedious long winded email from an obviously insincere fantasist with 0 feedback.


Hi, you have a great profile and look and sound amazing. I have a friend who has a stag coming up and I've been asked on behalf of the group to seek out a unique experience for the groom to be.

If this is not for you I am sorry to have wasted your time. However, if it's something you would or could consider (feel free to make suggestions if you want things to work differently) then please read on as a few of the guys are definitely interested in your services.

We had in mind a group sex session with you. This would involve up to 10 to 12 guys (including the groom to be).

The fantasy and thus theme for the event is group sex with a pregnant lady.

The guys are keen on French Kissing and OWO. That's the only specific requests. Apart from that we are happy to work with what you offer.

Given you are pregnant, I thought it best for you to have one on one sex with each one at a time (say 15 to 30 mins per guy). It's a GFE they each want but they seek that with a pregnant lady as that's what would make it special and memorable.

So my question is could you handle up to12 guys for the event?

Position wise I presume missionary and doggie is all that would be required, and all they expect as extras is French Kissing and OWO as I mentioned.

All guys would be respectful and gentle with you as we respect you are pregnant and want you to remain comfortable and safe so please be assured no issue there. What would be great though is if you could make each sex session with each guy more intimate and special though by making it feel passionate and more akin to love making. So let each guy caress your body and pregnant belly etc.

How far pregnant are you now and are you able to engage in sexual penetration?

Feel free to ask any questions you may have and please let me know asapif this is something you could accommodate or at least consider and we can work with you to arrange an experience you would feel comfortable to provide.

I look forward to hearing back from you asap. Thanks xxx
 

 :-\

Ok... that's as close as I've ever been to actually vomiting from one of these...

Also, just what?  "Make love" to TWELVE MEN IN A ROW?  A pregnant woman.  What?!
I don't want to be presumptuous about your pregnancy, but I would think it makes everything a touch more tiring at the least!  The whole thing is just gross, but I guess maybe that's what he was going for... Although there are an awful lot of pleasantries if he were going for shock value, which makes it even more nauseating.

Bless.  Hope you get plenty nice ones too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 01 November 2017, 03:13:57 pm
Quote from: ThirdCoastGal on 01 November 2017, 02:00:59 am
Ok... that's as close as I've ever been to actually vomiting from one of these...

Also, just what?  "Make love" to TWELVE MEN IN A ROW?  A pregnant woman.  What?!
I don't want to be presumptuous about your pregnancy, but I would think it makes everything a touch more tiring at the least!  The whole thing is just gross, but I guess maybe that's what he was going for... Although there are an awful lot of pleasantries if he were going for shock value, which makes it even more nauseating.

Bless.  Hope you get plenty nice ones too.

Got a text from someone this morning asking if I cater to stag parties, could be the same guy doing the rounds not been asked that in about eight or nine months.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: woowoomonster on 01 November 2017, 03:24:38 pm
Quote from: LisaLisa on 01 November 2017, 03:13:57 pm
Got a text from someone this morning asking if I cater to stag parties, could be the same guy doing the rounds not been asked that in about eight or nine months.

A stag party? why not go for it.
You could charge them all your usual rate per hour each, (with a small discount)  and end up with 10x your usual rate.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 01 November 2017, 04:33:49 pm
When I came out of an hour booking today I had 22 missed calls and a text saying "Yo bitch answer your phone!"

Needless to say I blocked that number  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 01 November 2017, 05:24:39 pm
Quote from: SarahHerts on 01 November 2017, 03:24:38 pm
A stag party? why not go for it.
You could charge them all your usual rate per hour each, (with a small discount)  and end up with 10x your usual rate.

Could also be an absolute nightmare (and potentially dangerous) with a load of drunk wankers though?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 01 November 2017, 05:30:35 pm
Quote from: Kay on 01 November 2017, 05:24:39 pm
Could also be an absolute nightmare (and potentially dangerous) with a load of drunk wankers though?

I absolutely would not do any sort of group booking without taking a security guy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 01 November 2017, 08:08:14 pm
Today I had two idiot messages wanting to see me and both from men I have seen before and not wanted more bookings from them.

First was a guy I've seen 3 times but gives me the creeps and it took me all my acting skills to cover it up. I replied to him today saying sorry I can not see him again (I gave no reason) and he responds with an offer to pay more than my rate.  Instant block now, as if I believed him for second.

Second was a man who I saw once and really did not like so again I replied saying sorry I could not meet him again.  He then apologises for cancelling last time and would turn up this time ( he didn't cancel so has me mixed up with someone else or whatever).

Hopefully November will improve.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 01 November 2017, 08:10:04 pm
Quote from: Lalalondon on 31 October 2017, 07:19:53 pm
Had exactly the same message!

He's probably called Rod.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 01 November 2017, 09:15:41 pm
Quote from: LisaLisa on 01 November 2017, 03:13:57 pm
Got a text from someone this morning asking if I cater to stag parties, could be the same guy doing the rounds not been asked that in about eight or nine months.

I got that text twice this week from the same numbers so did a few of my friends, friends in London and Essex. It's a twat doing  the rounds probably texting with his cock in his hand.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 02 November 2017, 08:52:44 am
Quote from: English natural beauty on 01 November 2017, 09:15:41 pm
I got that text twice this week from the same numbers so did a few of my friends, friends in London and Essex. It's a twat doing  the rounds probably texting with his cock in his hand.

Exactly he's text me before as well something stupid I can't remember what it was now. Firstly I wouldn't want to do it, and secondly even if I did the chances of it being real are about almost zero lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 02 November 2017, 09:41:55 am
I got a message like that too but it was last year.  Maybe some sps will risk it and attend a stag do and service a load of drunk men, very foolish in my opinion.  I just ignored the message as knew they had not singled me out at all, just sending probably hundreds to see the responses.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 02 November 2017, 10:13:38 am
Text exchange just now

"Ive just purchased your private gallery"
"OK"
"I didn't like it, You can refund me by bank transfer"
"Not my problem mate"
"OK then you can knock ?10 off your hour rate, incall at 12pm?"
"My private gallery cost 1 credit which is around ?1 and Ive just checked my account and no one has purchased it in the last 24 hours!"
"I used a freeview"
"So lets get this straight.... You viewed my pictures for free, didn't like what you saw and expect me to knock ?10 off my rate?"
"Yes"
"I didn't like this text exchange, I expect a payment of ?50 for having to put up with it. I will take a booking off you however you will be paying ?150 for the hour instead of ?100"

What a suprise that he didn't take me up on that  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 02 November 2017, 12:03:03 pm
Well doesn?t this just always happen when you make exceptions!

I?m not doing half hr atm due to discretion at my current incall place, however a pleasant sounding guy asked, so I said I would.

I then get an email saying he normally pays ?30 to ?40 less than I was asking for but he?d be prepared to do it for ?20 less than my asking price.

What a fucking cheek!

I often just ignore twats like this but I was so annoyed I sent this reply:

This is really disrespectful but you already know that.

I specially said I would do a half hour booking even tho I?m not currently advertising them.

Instead of either accepting the price or saying no, you barter.

One of most unattractive, disrespectful thing a potential punter can do. If you cannot afford one lady?s prices, go elsewhere, do not do this.

He replied but I am gonna delete without reading in case I get any more enraged!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 02 November 2017, 12:41:19 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 02 November 2017, 12:03:03 pm
Well doesn?t this just always happen when you make exceptions!

I?m not doing half hr atm due to discretion at my current incall place, however a pleasant sounding guy asked, so I said I would.

I then get an email saying he normally pays ?30 to ?40 less than I was asking for but he?d be prepared to do it for ?20 less than my asking price.

What a fucking cheek!

I often just ignore twats like this but I was so annoyed I sent this reply:

This is really disrespectful but you already know that.

I specially said I would do a half hour booking even tho I?m not currently advertising them.

Instead of either accepting the price or saying no, you barter.

One of most unattractive, disrespectful thing a potential punter can do. If you cannot afford one lady?s prices, go elsewhere, do not do this.

He replied but I am gonna delete without reading in case I get any more enraged!

So rude even normally, but when you've agreed to do something that's not currently on offer for him, then to do that is beyond belief.   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 02 November 2017, 03:39:03 pm
Subject:    hello beautiful rare precious diamond how are you

hello beautiful rare precious diamond how are you


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 02 November 2017, 05:39:45 pm
Quote from: Alison381 on 02 November 2017, 10:13:38 am
"I didn't like this text exchange, I expect a payment of ?50 for having to put up with it. I will take a booking off you however you will be paying ?150 for the hour instead of ?100"

What a suprise that he didn't take me up on that  ;D

Good one!  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 02 November 2017, 05:47:58 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 02 November 2017, 03:39:03 pm
Subject:    hello beautiful rare precious diamond how are you

hello beautiful rare precious diamond how are you

I've had this!  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 02 November 2017, 05:50:57 pm
Quote from: SarahHerts on 01 November 2017, 03:24:38 pm
A stag party? why not go for it.
You could charge them all your usual rate per hour each, (with a small discount)  and end up with 10x your usual rate.

Could anyone, being 100% honest, actually have sex with 10 guys, one by one, one after the other? I have been struggling with 3 guys through out the day, (having full sex) so doesnt bare thinking about how down there would be after that! Some things are just not worth it  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 02 November 2017, 05:59:58 pm
AW email:
"You are something else and absolutely perfect for my lifelong dream of an escort meet. What I would look for, and I know it?s rather taboo, is the opportunity to connect as a regular, moving to sessions where any ?rubbers? remain in your handbag ;)

Thoughts?"

My reply
"The only way my condoms would remain in my handbag is if your penis remained in your underwear."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 02 November 2017, 06:08:08 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 02 November 2017, 05:59:58 pm
AW email:
"You are something else and absolutely perfect for my lifelong dream of an escort meet. What I would look for, and I know it?s rather taboo, is the opportunity to connect as a regular, moving to sessions where any ?rubbers? remain in your handbag ;)

Thoughts?"

My reply
"The only way my condoms would remain in my handbag is if your penis remained in your underwear."

This reply is amazing  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kitty_69 on 02 November 2017, 06:46:28 pm
Quote from: MsLadyV87 on 02 November 2017, 05:50:57 pm
Could anyone, being 100% honest, actually have sex with 10 guys, one by one, one after the other? I have been struggling with 3 guys through out the day, (having full sex) so doesnt bare thinking about how down there would be after that! Some things are just not worth it  :-\

i have had 7 in a gang bang so i may give it a go
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 02 November 2017, 06:51:38 pm
Quote from: kitty_69 on 02 November 2017, 06:46:28 pm
i have had 7 in a gang bang so i may give it a go

fair play to you! :)  the idea of that makes down there 'gasp' haha. I am very tight down there so maybe thats why I couldnt handle so many at once but each to their own lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Working lady on 02 November 2017, 09:27:55 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 02 November 2017, 05:59:58 pm
AW email:
"You are something else and absolutely perfect for my lifelong dream of an escort meet. What I would look for, and I know it?s rather taboo, is the opportunity to connect as a regular, moving to sessions where any ?rubbers? remain in your handbag ;)

Thoughts?"

My reply
"The only way my condoms would remain in my handbag is if your penis remained in your underwear."



This I am 100% going to memorise, absolute classic, half want someone to ask me now 😆😆😆
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 03 November 2017, 06:11:51 am
Phone chat email request.
Hi I'm in London I'm drunk can I call you  ?
Amazed he had the ability to email that in the first place .
No calls came through
Next email
Can we talk real dirty can you call me please
Block .  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 03 November 2017, 09:02:09 am
A text at 4:30am

Hey pretty girl what's good just moved from Liverpool what you saying?

 ??? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 03 November 2017, 11:33:57 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 29 October 2017, 09:02:43 pm
On AW...Bloke asks for a booking this coming Friday.
I reply asking him how long for and what time.
His reply:15 mins Your first cock of the day?

And they wonder why they don't get replies! ::)

Update to this charmer!I did end up replying and mentioned I could do midday onwards and to just get in touch to confirm in the morning.No reply.Anyway today he emails asking if I am available today.I'm not available as I've been off ill for a couple a days.Told him this only for him to ask if I can't be tempted for a quickie.
He just got a right bollocking and blocking!Prick!Why would you want to book someone who is ill?!?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 03 November 2017, 12:35:46 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 03 November 2017, 11:33:57 am

Update to this charmer!I did end up replying and mentioned I could do midday onwards and to just get in touch to confirm in the morning.No reply.Anyway today he emails asking if I am available today.I'm not available as I've been off ill for a couple a days.Told him this only for him to ask if I can't be tempted for a quickie.
He just got a right bollocking and blocking!Prick!Why would you want to book someone who is ill?!?

If you not being well is to do with flue. I would of said Yeah sure if you don't mind my snot dripping on your dick when I'm sucking you off and me constantly coughing up flem
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 03 November 2017, 01:05:41 pm
Quote from: MsLadyV87 on 02 November 2017, 05:50:57 pm
Could anyone, being 100% honest, actually have sex with 10 guys, one by one, one after the other? I have been struggling with 3 guys through out the day, (having full sex) so doesnt bare thinking about how down there would be after that! Some things are just not worth it  :-\

Yes and I'm v mature , I know lots of others that can too and I'm pretty active with it !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lalalondon on 03 November 2017, 01:54:15 pm
Yesterday-

Him- Text me address
Me - of course, be sure to pack your ropes and knives!
Him- I can bring rope, but not knives?

The other day-
Him- fancy a trip to (bad area postcode) for over night or all day for ?350? I have weed and drinks
Me- cheeky sod!!

These type piss me off
?Hi?
?Postcode?
?Available?

Or the ones that repeatedly ask when you?re working, sometimes 3days on a row. The VERY first line
in any ad is that I work only two days a week, same two days EVERY week  :FF  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 03 November 2017, 02:03:19 pm
Quote from: MsLadyV87 on 02 November 2017, 05:50:57 pm
Could anyone, being 100% honest, actually have sex with 10 guys, one by one, one after the other? I have been struggling with 3 guys through out the day, (having full sex) so doesnt bare thinking about how down there would be after that! Some things are just not worth it  :-\

As a one (or very occasional) off, yes. I find even largeish cocks don't do any damage so long as the man's technique isn't rubbish (i.e., going in at the wrong angle and rubbing the entrance of the vagina etc.) If anything, it's fingering that is likely to draw a halt to proceedings.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 03 November 2017, 02:03:35 pm
Quote from: MsLadyV87 on 02 November 2017, 05:50:57 pm
Could anyone, being 100% honest, actually have sex with 10 guys, one by one, one after the other? I have been struggling with 3 guys through out the day, (having full sex) so doesnt bare thinking about how down there would be after that! Some things are just not worth it  :-\

Duplicate - sorry. Is it me or is the site being glitchy at the moment?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 05 November 2017, 04:32:52 pm
Quote from: Kay on 03 November 2017, 02:03:35 pm
Duplicate - sorry. Is it me or is the site being glitchy at the moment?

Thats ok, got to admit feel a bit bad saying it now as in no way meant it in an 'offensive' way. Just my opinion. Were all different and for sure makes me think, maybe I am a bit of a 'lightweight!' perhaps haha

Hope everyone is having a good Sunday evening so far xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 06 November 2017, 12:52:54 pm
Phone up and ask to see me at 1, at 12.49.

What the actual fuck!

My profiles says early on minimum one hour?s notice. This moron got short shrift from me I tell you, I almost yelled at him (not having a good day) pointing out the time and my notice requirements.

?Oh I know? he started to stay, my response was you clearly havent read my profile and are wasting my time, goodbye!

Wish I couldn?ve Thought of something witty and very sarcastic...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 06 November 2017, 01:00:40 pm
Message on AW.

Do you do the GFE?

I have this in my profile summary and all over my profile!  :FF

Next question - You're photos show you slim. Are you like that now?

 ???

What the actual F? Does he want to make a booking or not?

He's now blocked. Loser  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 06 November 2017, 01:30:38 pm
Quote from: Gypsy on 06 November 2017, 01:00:40 pm
Message on AW.

Do you do the GFE?

I have this in my profile summary and all over my profile!  :FF

Next question - You're photos show you slim. Are you like that now?

 ???


What the actual F? Does he want to make a booking or not?

He's now blocked. Loser  ;D

By email annoying, by phone far worse!

Honestly the next time someone asks for that ridiculous short notice I might just hang up on them, or laugh or something.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 06 November 2017, 02:43:18 pm
Spoke to him via text a couple of months ago. Was no good as he wanted 30mins and thought my rate was too high for 1 hour so politely said, not suited and no longer answer/texts from him. Every so often he rings and today got this message:

"hi its my birthday are you free xx'

So basically its not your birthday and your only saying that so I 'feel sorry for you' and want to reply back and say yes and agree to lower my rates, might walk into chanel and say 'its my birthday, can I have a huge discount on one of your bags' lol I laugh but makes you think.....  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 06 November 2017, 02:50:27 pm
Email just received

IM *delusional knob who types in shouty capitals* FROM UK,YOU CAN REACH ME
(*0800 delusional knob) I WILL NEED YOU
ON MY VACATION TOUR TO AFRICA BY NEXT MONTH  AND I WILL BE THERE
FOR 8DAYS, I WILL NEED YOU TO ESCORT ME TO AFRICA IN NIGERIA.I JUST
CHECK YOUR ADS OUT AND FOUND YOU SO COOL AND DECIDED PICK YOU .PLEASE
MAIL ME BACK IF YOU WANT TO GO WITH ME. I AM READY TO OFFER YOU A GOOD
SUM. HOPE 1,500 POUNDS PER DAY FOR ONE WEEK (8DAYS) IS OK. AND AN
UPFRONT WILL BE PAID TO YOU EVEN BEFORE YOU LEAVE YOUR STATE.ALL
NECESSARY DOCUMENT WILL BE ARRANGED BY ME SO FEEL FREE TO GET BACK TO
ME ASAP. LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING BACK FROM YOU. PLEASE GET BACK TO ME
ONLY IF YOU ARE WILLING TO GO WITH ME . PLEASE DO GET BACK TO ME ASAP
BECAUSE OF OTHER THINGS AT HAND BECAUSE AM ALWAYS BUSY.LOL  JUST MAIL
ME BACK OKAY

I'm busy that week but if anyone else fancies it I'm more than happy to pass his number on......  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 06 November 2017, 03:12:36 pm
Quote from: Alison381 on 06 November 2017, 02:50:27 pm
Email just received

IM *delusional knob who types in shouty capitals* FROM UK,YOU CAN REACH ME
(*0800 delusional knob) I WILL NEED YOU
ON MY VACATION TOUR TO AFRICA BY NEXT MONTH  AND I WILL BE THERE
FOR 8DAYS, I WILL NEED YOU TO ESCORT ME TO AFRICA IN NIGERIA.I JUST
CHECK YOUR ADS OUT AND FOUND YOU SO COOL AND DECIDED PICK YOU .PLEASE
MAIL ME BACK IF YOU WANT TO GO WITH ME. I AM READY TO OFFER YOU A GOOD
SUM. HOPE 1,500 POUNDS PER DAY FOR ONE WEEK (8DAYS) IS OK. AND AN
UPFRONT WILL BE PAID TO YOU EVEN BEFORE YOU LEAVE YOUR STATE.ALL
NECESSARY DOCUMENT WILL BE ARRANGED BY ME SO FEEL FREE TO GET BACK TO
ME ASAP. LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING BACK FROM YOU. PLEASE GET BACK TO ME
ONLY IF YOU ARE WILLING TO GO WITH ME . PLEASE DO GET BACK TO ME ASAP
BECAUSE OF OTHER THINGS AT HAND BECAUSE AM ALWAYS BUSY.LOL  JUST MAIL
ME BACK OKAY

I'm busy that week but if anyone else fancies it I'm more than happy to pass his number on......  ;D

That scam has been on the go for ages  8)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 06 November 2017, 04:47:16 pm
Quote from: MsLadyV87 on 06 November 2017, 02:43:18 pm
Spoke to him via text a couple of months ago. Was no good as he wanted 30mins and thought my rate was too high for 1 hour so politely said, not suited and no longer answer/texts from him. Every so often he rings and today got this message:

"hi its my birthday are you free xx'

So basically its not your birthday and your only saying that so I 'feel sorry for you' and want to reply back and say yes and agree to lower my rates, might walk into chanel and say 'its my birthday, can I have a huge discount on one of your bags' lol I laugh but makes you think.....  :FF
I'd be tempted to check my phone history to see what dates he texts you this and then politely point out the dates and ask him if he is the queen as she has multiple birthdays as well...dickwad!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Treetop on 06 November 2017, 05:02:28 pm
Few normal messages and a nornal phone call he wats facial only service then

Him : one more thing are you english?
Me :  Yes,could you not tell by my accent. X
Him : finally found an english bird. You have know idea. Lol. I have visited tgree other ladys in as many weeks. Useless they were.... thing is im a freaky cummer.... i pop huge loads and its very very thick not that watery shit. Anyway i made it q about 8/9 beads and they all shy away and moved. Its very thck and stringy.... are you familiar with mastic? (The stuff tou use as sealent)
Me : I'm sorry to diappoint you like the other escorts but im going to ahve to decline the booking. Im not sure it is healthy for sealent to come out of a penis. Again sorry.

I did not need all that info!!!!!! Ew ew ew.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 06 November 2017, 05:32:56 pm
Quote from: thehappyhooker on 06 November 2017, 05:02:28 pm
Few normal messages and a nornal phone call he wats facial only service then

Him : one more thing are you english?
Me :  Yes,could you not tell by my accent. X
Him : finally found an english bird. You have know idea. Lol. I have visited tgree other ladys in as many weeks. Useless they were.... thing is im a freaky cummer.... i pop huge loads and its very very thick not that watery shit. Anyway i made it q about 8/9 beads and they all shy away and moved. Its very thck and stringy.... are you familiar with mastic? (The stuff tou use as sealent)
Me : I'm sorry to diappoint you like the other escorts but im going to ahve to decline the booking. Im not sure it is healthy for sealent to come out of a penis. Again sorry.

I did not need all that info!!!!!! Ew ew ew.

Urgh far too much info there!!!  Not only that but it reminds me of a man I used to see years ago who, when he eventually did cum splashed loads of it all over the place, me and anything else in it's path. It was as though he had a sprinkler system on the end of his cock.  He never wanted to cum in a condom and each time I sort of hoped it would be tidier than the last but it never was. I had to stop seeing him in the end, much too messy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 06 November 2017, 08:42:15 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 06 November 2017, 04:47:16 pm
I'd be tempted to check my phone history to see what dates he texts you this and then politely point out the dates and ask him if he is the queen as she has multiple birthdays as well...dickwad!

Yeah true. First time he said it was his 'birthday' though but clearly fake, thats besides the point though. Like I said wouldnt expect a 'business' to lower rates/fees if it was your birthday. quite funny really  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 06 November 2017, 10:10:12 pm
Quote from: MsLadyV87 on 06 November 2017, 08:42:15 pm
Yeah true. First time he said it was his 'birthday' though but clearly fake, thats besides the point though. Like I said wouldnt expect a 'business' to lower rates/fees if it was your birthday. quite funny really  ;D
Or next time he texts saying it's his birthday tell him what a coincidence it's yours as well and any clients you see on your birthday are paying double rate as your birthday present..betcha he'll not text again!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 07 November 2017, 11:10:45 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 06 November 2017, 10:10:12 pm
Or next time he texts saying it's his birthday tell him what a coincidence it's yours as well and any clients you see on your birthday are paying double rate as your birthday present..betcha he'll not text again!

Haha thats a great idea! See this is why I love this forum! gives you great thoughts and ideas  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 07 November 2017, 11:47:08 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 06 November 2017, 10:10:12 pm
Or next time he texts saying it's his birthday tell him what a coincidence it's yours as well and any clients you see on your birthday are paying double rate as your birthday present..betcha he'll not text again!

I love that but!!!  I am now reminded of 2 years ago when it really was my birthday and I mentioned it to a client (his first meeting with me) and wondered why he just smiled and said happy birthday. He may have thought I was hinting for some extra money/tip or something. Oh dear I really really wasn't  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 07 November 2017, 01:36:05 pm
This is a specific one:

Really nice client, nice looking, about my age (rare), great chemistry, polite, clean etc etc! Yay I thought, hot new client!

But no, texts to say hello, tells me random shit about his day- to start with I responded because I thought he was worth keeping sweet as a future regular. Then he made a couple of bookings which he cancelled, the first time I thought genuine- the excuses were odd enough to be real but then I realised he is a waster so started ignoring his future random hello how are you texts

Then yesterday he texted to ask if he could see me for an hour for ?40- I said no.
Then he said I know it's bad to haggle, but what about ?50?

Told him pretty much to fuck off.

Honestly, how did one who started so well turn out to be a total waste of space?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 07 November 2017, 02:47:23 pm
I had a few of those when I first started. Now any of those signs and they are binned straight away  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sweetmilf on 07 November 2017, 02:51:19 pm
"I want to discuss a POSSIBLE booking".

Oh, yeah, go away.  Everything is on the profile, mate unless you haven't even bothered reading that?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 07 November 2017, 03:49:54 pm
Quote from: Wailing Banshee on 07 November 2017, 01:36:05 pm
This is a specific one:

Really nice client, nice looking, about my age (rare), great chemistry, polite, clean etc etc! Yay I thought, hot new client!

But no, texts to say hello, tells me random shit about his day- to start with I responded because I thought he was worth keeping sweet as a future regular. Then he made a couple of bookings which he cancelled, the first time I thought genuine- the excuses were odd enough to be real but then I realised he is a waster so started ignoring his future random hello how are you texts

Then yesterday he texted to ask if he could see me for an hour for ?40- I said no.
Then he said I know it's bad to haggle, but what about ?50?

Told him pretty much to fuck off.

Honestly, how did one who started so well turn out to be a total waste of space?!

I find sometimes the young nice ones think they can get away with more because they think we should be "grateful".  I'm quite happy with an old chunky guy long as he's clean and respectful thanks.  I find manners and respect far more attractive and pleasing to be with, than arrogance and that sense of entitlement! 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 07 November 2017, 08:54:52 pm

Hi ...

I bet this is the strangest way anybody has ever discovered your profile. I play this game sometimes, I see someone I find attractive and see if I can find the escort to match her. I was watching Bargain Hunt this morning, (hey, don't judge me) and this woman came on who was an expert on Lewis Carroll. She was showing some period, Alice in Wonderland inspired biscuit tins, I said it was strange.

There was something about her though, I could imagine her having this secret life, escorting on the side, so I tried to find her match on here. Long brown hair, large boobs, maybe late 20s, early 30s and I guessed a dress size 12 (Like most guys, dress sizes just confuse me). You can probably still catch it on iplayer, she's a pretty close match to you.

So that's how I found your profile and reading your blog, I think we'd really get on. Your post on being introvert struck a chord with me, I'm an extroverted introvert. I think we'd be great together in the sack, the mutual empathy would be amazing.

So, now I've said all that, we'll probably never meet because you're the other side of the country to me., unless you come up to Manchester in search of some Lewis Carroll biscuit tins for your collection.

Never say never though, if I'm ever in your part of the country, I'll look you up. Not sure if you have ever thought about touring? If you do, try Manchester, you might have some luck there.

See you around,


To be fair to him at least he did read my profile, unlike most, but why?? I could not be further away from Manchester  ::) Some people have way too much time on their hands.. at least he spent money on content  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 08 November 2017, 12:36:24 am
Quote from: LisaLisa on 07 November 2017, 03:49:54 pm
I find sometimes the young nice ones think they can get away with more because they think we should be "grateful".  I'm quite happy with an old chunky guy long as he's clean and respectful thanks.  I find manners and respect far more attractive and pleasing to be with, than arrogance and that sense of entitlement!

Well, he was my age and that is hardly young!

I agree though, as a rule I prefer older men and find the younger ones annoying- though there have been a few over the years who have been great...

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 08 November 2017, 01:04:30 am
2 emails today:

Hope you?re well ?
If you?re free call me on [number]
I?m close
byexxx


And...

utake black cock


And one from the other day...

nice. tits.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 08 November 2017, 08:14:13 am
Quote from: Wailing Banshee on 08 November 2017, 12:36:24 am
Well, he was my age and that is hardly young!

I agree though, as a rule I prefer older men and find the younger ones annoying- though there have been a few over the years who have been great...

Haha I don't know your age but I'm in my 30s and always forget I'm not so young myself anymore  ;D My regular clientele are normally 43+ so I do see anyone my own age as young I guess lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 08 November 2017, 08:44:23 am
'Hi can you do pigtails for me?'


My hair is pixie short  ::)


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 08 November 2017, 08:49:07 am
Quote from: Shwiftysquancher91 on 08 November 2017, 08:44:23 am
'Hi can you do pigtails for me?'


My hair is pixie short  ::)

I get that one alot too. I clearly says on my profile that I have really short hair and theres at least 20 pics in my PG that show it  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 08 November 2017, 09:38:02 am
I've read all your profile details you free now?
 sent as an e-mail when no number or availability  displayed.
5am this morning . :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 08 November 2017, 06:43:32 pm
Received yesterday:

"hello babe where I'm london are you from"

Guessing that he meant: where IN London are you from (predictive texts etc), and presuming he's read my profile, I replied:

"I'm originally from [vaguely broad quarter of] London. Can I ask why you want to know? Are you looking for a specific accent?"

Reply came back today, 24 hours later:

"nah babe i see you do meets n i am from london to babe so u have the same accent lol x"


Nah? Babe? 'n'? It's highly unlikely our accents are anything like each other. And I have no idea what he wants. He sees I do meets.... and...? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 09 November 2017, 10:33:37 am
On the phone yesterday.

Him: Do you like being licked out?
Me: What a charming turn of phrase! That's definitely made my knickers wet.
Him: Has it?
Me: No.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 09 November 2017, 10:47:59 am
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 09 November 2017, 10:33:37 am
On the phone yesterday.

Him: Do you like being licked out?
Me: What a charming turn of phrase! That's definitely made my knickers wet.
Him: Has it?
Me: No.

Oh that term makes me feel sick.  Love the dead pan response though  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 09 November 2017, 07:08:29 pm
Him - just checking if I can see you today?
Me - Hi, how long for? Which services? And what sort of time please?
Him - For an hour, special request if you can suck and play with my nipples for 10mins followed by A-level and watersports same time if you can perform you on top of me facing away and I would like to try fisting as well. Between 8 and 9 tonight?
Me - Blocked

Fuck me, what am I a robot? I don't think I've ever managed to piss whilst being done up the bum. I hate going on top and find it really uncomfortable let alone being relaxed enough to see and where would this take place? Not on my bed. Fuck off. I sleep in my bed, I don't want it soaked. I find sucking men's nipples really boring and they're usually hairy which isn't much good and I'd never see a new punter late in the evening. So it was a big Get Fucked from all perspectives. I don't do PSE. I do kink. I do watersports n all the rest he wanted but NOT all at the same fucking time. Jeez. The guys Bern watching too much porn!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Worried93 on 11 November 2017, 07:29:43 pm
Him -are you working today
Me -i am
Him - fancy some bareback
Me- hahahhaa -click-

Anyone else fancy that booking?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 11 November 2017, 07:35:06 pm
Quote from: Worried93 on 11 November 2017, 07:29:43 pm
Him - fancy some bareback
The sick-minded cunt!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 12 November 2017, 12:35:28 am
Note that he's not asking for a booking, or a cam session, or phone chat. He just forces his "thing" onto me...
Zero feedback, member on AW since April, clearly hasn't read my profile.


Hello how are you?
I think you look stunning and very sexy.
I am more into fetish than sex. But I do like to play role sometimes.

Play role example below.
----
You play an assassin who is tasked with beating up and strangling to death a big guy.

- First you would seduce me. Give me lots of blow Jobs and what ever to drain all the fluids and energy out of my system.
- Then you challenge me to a wrestling match. It starts all friendly. As I get tied, You start to get rough and nasty with me. I want you to stop.
- You say there is no chance of that. After beating me bad. You finish me off with some long headscissor and strangle holds.

xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 12 November 2017, 12:43:52 am
Email at 11pm this evening...Can you do an outcall tomorrow morning at 8am?
Problem...I make clear in capital letters it is incalls only,I require 24 hours notice for weekend bookings unless I have my available today on and I start at 11am earliest...plus who the fuck is likely to get his email in time to then sort it out with him in time for being with him at 8am on a Sunday morning... :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 12 November 2017, 07:02:26 pm
A simple random text out of the blue saying 'How much'

Ignore!  ::)

Later on....

Another message from a random number in these words.... 'Hey der,u free nw'

sigh  ::) thanks ladies and gents, Im here all night!  :-*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 12 November 2017, 07:22:07 pm
Idiot: hi babe, u do anal?

Me: No, read my profile.

Idiot: u do shit in mouth?

Me: No and I won't be booking you.

Idiot: i give u 50 for an hr

My rates are higher than ?50 per hour and I definitely don't do anal.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 12 November 2017, 07:27:37 pm
Quote from: SuperCheese on 12 November 2017, 07:22:07 pm
Idiot: hi babe, u do anal?

Me: No, read my profile.

Idiot: u do shit in mouth?

Me: No and I won't be booking you.

Idiot: i give u 50 for an hr


My rates are higher than ?50 per hour and I definitely don't do anal.

'u do shit in mouth'?!?!?!?! whoa really????  :-X That is crazy unbelieveable!!!!

Ive just had a classic 'wtf' one

A text message saying 'uo open' What the fudge am I??? a shop???  ;D

This job really makes you wonder about some people. I see myself as open minded but even I am left with thoughts of OMG lol    ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 13 November 2017, 02:09:03 pm
Today caller rang asking for all services for hour , send your postcode luv .
I said definatly see you at 1,30 I didn't send any details and he didnt call back
Sounded so rough lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 14 November 2017, 03:51:40 pm
Phone call late last night....

"Is that Alison?"
"Yes"
"How much do you charge for an hour?"
Ffs he hasn't read my advert! "110"
"You better be good for that!"
"What?"
Louder "You better be good for that!"
"What?"
Screams down the phone "YOU BETTER BE GOOD FOR THAT, ARE YOU DEAF OR SOMETHING?"
"No, I'm just shocked you are asking an escort a question like that"
"What do you mean?"
"Well we have sex for a living, if we wasn't good we wouldn't have a job for long would we?"
"Good point. Can i fuck you up the arse you dirty bitch?"
"What?"
"Can I fuck you up the arse you dirty bitch. Are you fucking deaf?"
"No I'm not deaf mate I'm just tired of this phone call goodbye"

I turned my phone off after that call lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 14 November 2017, 04:30:50 pm
Quote from: Alison381 on 14 November 2017, 03:51:40 pm
Phone call late last night....

"Is that Alison?"
"Yes"
"How much do you charge for an hour?"
Ffs he hasn't read my advert! "110"
"You better be good for that!"
"What?"
Louder "You better be good for that!"
"What?"
Screams down the phone "YOU BETTER BE GOOD FOR THAT, ARE YOU DEAF OR SOMETHING?"
"No, I'm just shocked you are asking an escort a question like that"
"What do you mean?"
"Well we have sex for a living, if we wasn't good we wouldn't have a job for long would we?"
"Good point. Can i fuck you up the arse you dirty bitch?"
"What?"
"Can I fuck you up the arse you dirty bitch. Are you fucking deaf?"
"No I'm not deaf mate I'm just tired of this phone call goodbye"

I turned my phone off after that call lol

What an arsehole.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 14 November 2017, 04:40:53 pm
Quote from: Alison381 on 14 November 2017, 03:51:40 pm
Phone call late last night....

"Is that Alison?"
"Yes"
"How much do you charge for an hour?"
Ffs he hasn't read my advert! "110"
"You better be good for that!"
"What?"
Louder "You better be good for that!"
"What?"
Screams down the phone "YOU BETTER BE GOOD FOR THAT, ARE YOU DEAF OR SOMETHING?"
"No, I'm just shocked you are asking an escort a question like that"
"What do you mean?"
"Well we have sex for a living, if we wasn't good we wouldn't have a job for long would we?"
"Good point. Can i fuck you up the arse you dirty bitch?"
"What?"
"Can I fuck you up the arse you dirty bitch. Are you fucking deaf?"
"No I'm not deaf mate I'm just tired of this phone call goodbye"

I turned my phone off after that call lol

Shit on his face.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 14 November 2017, 09:46:42 pm
Quote from: CurlsnCurves on 09 November 2017, 07:08:29 pm
Him - just checking if I can see you today?
Me - Hi, how long for? Which services? And what sort of time please?
Him - For an hour, special request if you can suck and play with my nipples for 10mins followed by A-level and watersports same time if you can perform you on top of me facing away and I would like to try fisting as well. Between 8 and 9 tonight?
Me - Blocked

Fuck me, what am I a robot? I don't think I've ever managed to piss whilst being done up the bum. I hate going on top and find it really uncomfortable let alone being relaxed enough to see and where would this take place? Not on my bed. Fuck off. I sleep in my bed, I don't want it soaked. I find sucking men's nipples really boring and they're usually hairy which isn't much good and I'd never see a new punter late in the evening. So it was a big Get Fucked from all perspectives. I don't do PSE. I do kink. I do watersports n all the rest he wanted but NOT all at the same fucking time. Jeez. The guys Bern watching too much porn!!!

Oh excellent ! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alison381 on 15 November 2017, 09:20:12 am
Quote from: English natural beauty on 14 November 2017, 04:40:53 pm
Shit on his face.

Hahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: londonfox on 15 November 2017, 11:08:01 am
'Oo wow, well I hope there's chemistry... if so id actually see u as a girlfriend in future if we really like each other! U never know hehe. See you x'

He sounded sane before this red flag...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 15 November 2017, 11:50:44 am
Quote from: londonfox on 15 November 2017, 11:08:01 am
'Oo wow, well I hope there's chemistry... if so id actually see u as a girlfriend in future if we really like each other! U never know hehe. See you x'

He sounded sane before this red flag...

I hate "hehe" especially without an exclamation mark. Creepy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 15 November 2017, 06:32:39 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 15 November 2017, 11:50:44 am
I hate "hehe" especially without an exclamation mark. Creepy.
Me too !

Got one today email
'Where are you ? send me your postcode and I might have time to see you later'

I just sent back,

If you've tried anyone else with that technique I doubt you'll get an answer because it doesn't work that way.

I get booked quite quickly so you'd have to call me to see if I have got any time or would like to meet YOU so good luck
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 15 November 2017, 06:48:34 pm
Quote from: MsLadyV87 on 12 November 2017, 07:27:37 pm
'u do shit in mouth'?!?!?!?! whoa really????  :-X That is crazy unbelieveable!!!!

Ive just had a classic 'wtf' one

A text message saying 'uo open' What the fudge am I??? a shop???  ;D

This job really makes you wonder about some people. I see myself as open minded but even I am left with thoughts of OMG lol    ???

I endlessly get silly messages, but I swear some of them are wind-ups!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 15 November 2017, 07:49:18 pm
I just received this now from this idiot.  :FF


hi hun, hope you doing well

would you be interested to spend sometime say a weekend or a long holiday in newcastle, north east uk, with me ?

i will bear all costs related to travel, hotel, meals but no other costs. you could treat this as your very own escort tour and do outcalls or as an all expenses covered holiday break

i am a very sweet, soft spoken, nice 30 plus guy who works in an office full time. i stay single in very posh 4 star hotel accommodations around newcastle town centre or gateshead quayside

whatsapp me on if interested




I have replied saying

Hello .

For a person who has 2 positive feedback from established escorts.

 I am shocked that you are contacting an ESCORT - WHERE HER  TIME MUST BE PAID FOR.

This is not a Dating website or Sugar Daddy site. This is an ESCORT SITE where money is exchanged for the escorts time.


I think you have lost your marbles and your absolutely delusional to think that me - ESCORT - PROSSY - WILL WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOR AN ENTIRE WEEKEND FOR - NOTHING.


TIME IS MONEY -

NO MONEY FOR - NO HONEY FOR YOU - I PUT THIS IN ENGLISH ( NO MONEY HANDED TO ME - YOU DON'T GET THIS EBONY PUSSY TO ENJOY.)

GOOD LUCK IN FINDING AN ESCORT WHO WILL ACCEPT YOUR SILLY OFFER.





Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 15 November 2017, 07:51:09 pm
His aw user name [removed - this is not the warnings section]

I don't know how to find his aw profile number code that I see other ladies post on here to warn females. As the name can change.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 15 November 2017, 08:26:57 pm
Quote from: DynamiteDoll on 15 November 2017, 07:51:09 pm
His aw user name [removed - this is not the warnings section]

I don't know how to find his aw profile number code that I see other ladies post on here to warn females. As the name can change.
He contacted me this past hour with what I believe was the same message as the one he sent you. (On opening the message and seeing its length, I immediately deleted it and blocked the sender.  This is why I can only guess that it was the same message as yours). As I write, I am in Wetherby.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 15 November 2017, 08:35:43 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 15 November 2017, 08:26:57 pm
He contacted me this past hour with what I believe was the same message as the one he sent you. (On opening the message and seeing its length, I immediately deleted it and blocked the sender.  This is why I can only guess that it was the same message as yours). As I write, I am in Wetherby.

As I write I am in London.
I only replied as I was in that mood since I am sexually frustrated (yes sounds strange as I get dick for money) But its been a long time of having the full on passionate sex with another female and orgasm. I am in the fake motions with clients so its just dick and pussy times done goodbye. I have to wait for December as I be hitting the swing parties in Netherlands. Sorry I went off topic.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 16 November 2017, 01:20:44 am
Quote from: DynamiteDoll on 15 November 2017, 07:51:09 pm
His aw user name [removed - this is not the warnings section]

I don't know how to find his aw profile number code that I see other ladies post on here to warn females. As the name can change.

CLick on his feedback. The number will be in the top address bar. Or click "profile" on his message and should be there somewhere too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lillys0 on 16 November 2017, 04:02:29 am
Had a guy ring me before saying his car was being serviced and could I meet him for a coffee before booking as he was new to this he sounded a bit odd anyway my gut was saying possibly unbalanced you know what I mean. I said "ok it will cost so and so," and It will have to be an outcall he asks me to look up day rooms as I know about this sort of thing I laughed and he said " are you laughing at me?" In an angry tone (the gut was right! Screening improving)  , he then asked what will I wear and what do I do in bookings phone wanker alert i told him I have to go hang up he then texts me saying "u aren't very naughty for a prostitute" I blocked him arsehole !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 16 November 2017, 08:48:50 am
Quote from: DynamiteDoll on 15 November 2017, 07:49:18 pm
I just received this now from this idiot.  :FF


hi hun, hope you doing well

would you be interested to spend sometime say a weekend or a long holiday in newcastle, north east uk, with me ?

i will bear all costs related to travel, hotel, meals but no other costs. you could treat this as your very own escort tour and do outcalls or as an all expenses covered holiday break

i am a very sweet, soft spoken, nice 30 plus guy who works in an office full time. i stay single in very posh 4 star hotel accommodations around newcastle town centre or gateshead quayside

whatsapp me on if interested




I have replied saying

Hello .

For a person who has 2 positive feedback from established escorts.

 I am shocked that you are contacting an ESCORT - WHERE HER  TIME MUST BE PAID FOR.

This is not a Dating website or Sugar Daddy site. This is an ESCORT SITE where money is exchanged for the escorts time.


I think you have lost your marbles and your absolutely delusional to think that me - ESCORT - PROSSY - WILL WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOR AN ENTIRE WEEKEND FOR - NOTHING.


TIME IS MONEY -

NO MONEY FOR - NO HONEY FOR YOU - I PUT THIS IN ENGLISH ( NO MONEY HANDED TO ME - YOU DON'T GET THIS EBONY PUSSY TO ENJOY.)

GOOD LUCK IN FINDING AN ESCORT WHO WILL ACCEPT YOUR SILLY OFFER.

I got same email last week!  ;D I didn't respond, just blocked the loser. It's a copy and paste job. Idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 16 November 2017, 12:38:32 pm
"Hi babe, can you do anything for 30.. 07817 9026** xx"

Me: You get a hello for that price or pay my rates to get an actual service.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 16 November 2017, 03:48:25 pm
It really annoys me when they phone and say what price and where abouts are you. I get asked the second question all the time and that's fine but when they say I'll phone you back in 20 minutes and then phone back after 40 minutes and still expect to see me then that's not on. I am prepared to wait a set amount of time but when 10 minutes is up after expected time, I presume they've either had a better offer or have changed their mind. If they are running late for whatever reason and still want to see me then they should let me know!

This particular guy couldn't make his mind up how long he wanted, so if that doesn't scream TW I don't know what does! Unfortunately, he did call back but it was way later than the time he'd said he'd call.

As an old teacher used to say - Tough cookies  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 16 November 2017, 05:24:55 pm
Text from idiot today, identical text to one he sent me in July

Him "Hi babe can you do 10 minute quicky for ?30 I can come in ten minutes" (I don't do quickies, it clearly states it on my profile and even if I did that's not half of my half hour rate)

Me "no thank you"

Him "Ok I will wank"

Me "have fun"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: dalish on 16 November 2017, 06:37:45 pm
"HI [my name]
I SAW YOU ON AW. CAN YOU DO OUT CALL TO [area] NEAR [area]? I?M IN A CARE HOME, 67 AND IN A WHEEL CHAIR. IS THAT OK?"

Now I don't see a problem with his age or the fact he's in a wheelchair... but who the hell calls a prozzie out to a care home?!  :o :o :o :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Treetop on 16 November 2017, 06:50:49 pm
Quote from: dalish on 16 November 2017, 06:37:45 pm
"HI [my name]
I SAW YOU ON AW. CAN YOU DO OUT CALL TO [area] NEAR [area]? I?M IN A CARE HOME, 67 AND IN A WHEEL CHAIR. IS THAT OK?"

Now I don't see a problem with his age or the fact he's in a wheelchair... but who the hell calls a prozzie out to a care home?!  :o :o :o :o

I have done this.... dont block him yet!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 16 November 2017, 07:29:19 pm
Deluded Fuckwit via text:Hiya can I see you before 11am tomorrow?
Me:No sorry I don't work mornings
Him:Well when are you available tomorrow?
Me:12noon until 7pm
Him:Ok so if I ring you at 6 will you be honest if I ask you if you have seen another client?
Me:Why would you be asking me that?!?
Him:Ha!I thought it sounded strange but I want to be your first client.
Me:Do you actually think you are going to be my first client at 6pm?!?If you want to be someones first of the day get on a dating site.No need to call me as I don't do strange.One other thing but alot of us have partners so you are never likely to be our first of the day! ::)
I seem to be having a week of weird arseholes like this!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 16 November 2017, 07:38:32 pm
Quote from: thehappyhooker on 16 November 2017, 06:50:49 pm
I have done this.... dont block him yet!
Well actually I have as well.I used to see a chap who lived in supported living regularly.I am pretty sure his carers actually helped him to find sex workers as he was quite severely disabled.I also think they knew full well what was happening as they often were in his room helping him onto his bed when I arrived.So yes it can be genuine.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 17 November 2017, 01:06:19 am
email from AWank today:

'Morning gorgeous, fancy making babies today?'

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emma_C on 17 November 2017, 08:57:24 am
I had this guy in my phone as a messer in 2 locations. Been feeling ill so was ignoring him & sending the pre-set swipe to text sms set in my phone. The following morning I get this sms;

"Hi Chatterly,
long winded this but I believe if you view the below it will be beneficial. Although i appreciate you are a busy girl who is obvious expending an amount of time trying to please everyone but I personally have found you to be very forthcoming when I've contacted you. To be quite honest I'd have to say rude by your bluntness. I'm not into posting bad comments on adultwork as I've not even met you but I expect the common decency for you to return my call (I've left messages upon your voicemail) and not just simply reply to a text "I'm busy, call later" or ignore me in total. Your adultwork profile portrays you to be somewhat different to what I've experienced. If you would like to discuss this matter further I'd appreciate a call.

No bloody punctuation from him..what a self entitled tit, sure I'll call you & tell you what a nob you are & be extremely blunt, don't effin' tempt me hahah

How to piss off a messer, tip number 1 lol be blunt & evasive.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 17 November 2017, 09:09:18 am
Quote from: MrsTomHardy on 17 November 2017, 01:06:19 am
email from AWank today:

'Morning gorgeous, fancy making babies today?'

 :FF
Oooh !!! I'm assuming you said yes  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 17 November 2017, 05:30:23 pm
Saw your aw, you free for some facefucking?

Just because I advertise this doesn't mean you can introduce yourself that way to me!

u offer dom sph?...When my entire profile is centered around offering sub services.

And one who seemed to communicate well in email until providing him with my number to call to book. Asked if I was available in the morning and was told I wasn't available until 1.30pm earliest, to text "I'd like to see you before 12." Ignored that because I clearly just said that wasn't possible, and then later on when checking messages find 6 calls and 8 texts between 1.10 and 1.24pm. Some of them simply saying "hanna" and "?!?" Pass!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 17 November 2017, 05:44:55 pm
I've got a bagful of swimmers here and guess where they want to swim?

 ::) ::) ::)  and yet more  ::) ::) ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Funkymonkey on 17 November 2017, 06:38:26 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 17 November 2017, 05:30:23 pm
Saw your aw, you free for some facefucking?

Eurgh yes disgusting. ?Are you free to open your mouth and let me fuck your throat for half an hour?
I replied ?wow what a tempting offer!?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 19 November 2017, 10:51:18 am
hi hun, hope you doing well

would you be interested to spend sometime say a weekend or a long holiday in newcastle, north east uk, with me ?

i will bear all costs related to travel, hotel, meals but no other costs. you could treat this as your very own escort tour and do outcalls or as an all expenses covered holiday break

i am a very sweet, soft spoken, nice 30 plus guy who works in an office full time. i stay single in very posh 4 star hotel accommodations around newcastle town centre or gateshead quayside

whatsapp me on *********** if interested

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 19 November 2017, 12:24:24 pm
Quote from: Justine on 17 November 2017, 05:44:55 pm
I've got a bagful of swimmers here and guess where they want to swim?

 ::) ::) ::)  and yet more  ::) ::) ::)

I would of replied - UP YOUR  OWN MOUTH MATE! -
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 19 November 2017, 09:21:50 pm
Hey gorgeous... how are you? hope you are well and having a good weekend.. I'm a pretty normal guy.. I take good care of my body, I work out, I have a big appetite and a lot of stamina.. Im new to escorting and AW.. you are stunning.. I'd love to get to know you and maybe even have some fun .. have a look at my profile..If I seem like your type and if you fancy catching up...or if you even if you need someone to work or do some filming with then let me know.. Dan :) x

Yet 1 of many idiot messages today  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 20 November 2017, 03:46:33 pm
text message...... 'Good evening babe'

Oh look, there goes a tumbleweed roll past!!  ::) lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 20 November 2017, 07:38:31 pm
Hi can I come see you this evening
Me no sorry I finish at 4 today
Oh can I come see you at 3
Me no sorry I have a booking at that time
Oh can I come at 5pm   :FF :FF :FF
Bye bye
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: honeymoonbarbie on 20 November 2017, 08:28:24 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 19 November 2017, 10:51:18 am
hi hun, hope you doing well

would you be interested to spend sometime say a weekend or a long holiday in newcastle, north east uk, with me ?

i will bear all costs related to travel, hotel, meals but no other costs. you could treat this as your very own escort tour and do outcalls or as an all expenses covered holiday break

i am a very sweet, soft spoken, nice 30 plus guy who works in an office full time. i stay single in very posh 4 star hotel accommodations around newcastle town centre or gateshead quayside

whatsapp me on *********** if interested

 ::)

I got this one while I was touring Sheffield, my response was as below:

So let me get this right, you want an overnight with me but don't actually want to pay me for my time.

Should I choose to go on holiday please believe I would choose to do so alone or with actual friends or family and not with a cheap skate stranger who does not respect my job as an escort.

Best of luck with your endeavours, idiot.
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: honeymoonbarbie on 20 November 2017, 08:29:11 pm
A couple from earlier via text.

Him: Are you available? Are services x and y included?
Me: Yes, I have availability this evening and I don't charge any extras.
Him: Ok wil be for half hour can send address please are English? Don't want no (mentions area in Europe)
Me: Am I Caucasian? No, but my pictures clearly show that. Considering my profile mentions that I'm British and my written and spoken English is better than yours, I think it's safe to assume that I am, indeed, "English".
Him: *silence*

Him: What's your postcode?
Me: *provides postcode* If you'd like to arrange a booking please give me a time and duration so that I can confirm my availability.
Him: I want an hour, I'll phone when I'm on my way.
Me: Unfortunately that's not going to work, I'll need you to give me a time so that I can confirm that I can actually see you and won't have you or any other client waiting around.
Him: *silence*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 20 November 2017, 08:56:03 pm
Just got this email on AW

Hi I just wanna be a slave no sex just a cuckold slave you can do what ever you like see other clients watch tv anything for the day I'll tibrute ?50 you don't have to do anything just relax

my reply

First act of you being my slave is....to read my profile properly and look at my rates! Thank you

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katiexxx on 20 November 2017, 10:03:32 pm
Phone call:

Twat: where are you?
Me: ehmmm..in the park
Twat: Which park?
Me: xxxx park
Twat: ok babe I am comming
Me: oh ok can't wait come on hurry up
Twat: Where i can find you
Me: on the bench number 3
Twat: see you shortly

5 mins later twt texting
Twat: I am outside of the gate -  park xxxx (liar as i can see the park gate from my window)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 21 November 2017, 03:31:25 pm
Had a couple of texts in the 'wee hours of the morning'

"wot a body ru for real" (err no I am a robot but still needs sleep)

"you English" (s? pero estoy dormido= yes but I am asleep)

"you working" (maybe but in the land of nod)

 ;D :FF ;D :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JustAnotherHooker on 21 November 2017, 09:33:38 pm
Quote from: honeymoonbarbie on 20 November 2017, 08:28:24 pm
I got this one while I was touring Sheffield, my response was as below:

So let me get this right, you want an overnight with me but don't actually want to pay me for my time.

Should I choose to go on holiday please believe I would choose to do so alone or with actual friends or family and not with a cheap skate stranger who does not respect my job as an escort.

Best of luck with your endeavours, idiot.


I got the very same email so hez clearly doing the rounds.  I told him that I don't tour & never will and even if I did then I still wouldn't take him up on his offer!!


Cheeky get.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 22 November 2017, 03:55:07 am
8.45pm: Get a text asking for general availability and location. Reply, saying I can work up to 11pm but only if booked by about 7pm; otherwise I can normally be ready with an hour's notice (after 2pm). Include link to my website.

8.47pm: Any chance I could see you in 10 minutes??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 23 November 2017, 10:41:45 pm
Subject:    Hi sexy. Im a young black fit hot 100m sprinter xxx wgats your number xxxxwhats your number xxx

Message content: Blank.

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 23 November 2017, 10:54:06 pm
AW message from a bloke whose user name was basically 'thick(nasty racist word)cock' asking if I do 15 min quickies at a good price.Referred him to my profile and he answers with 'That's good I've been looking at your profile for months (so how come you don't know what I charge for a quickie?) I know you won't see under 25's but I am 24 and don't want to wait another 6 months'
His profile says he is 23 and caucasian...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 24 November 2017, 09:30:53 am
Text at 10.32pm when I finished at 8pm and my profile clearly states my phone is off from 9pm

"Incall"

Not even a question mark so not sure what he was trying to convey here.   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 24 November 2017, 09:37:56 am
Recently had a string of messages from guys contacting to express their interest but giving no concrete details about a booking.

'Hi I'm Richard in Glasgow for a few weeks. Looking for a fun open minded confident lass to meet up with. Hope your interested x' - sorry what am I to be interested in?

'Hi noticed your profile on AW you look hot.
Hope we can meet sometime when I'm in Glasgow. Regards Billy'

'Subject:   hi


hope to meet u xx'

Honestly, what the fuck am I meant to do with that? I have 'please contact with your name, desired booking date and time, and booking length' all over my profile but the number that actually do is in the minority.
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 24 November 2017, 12:29:33 pm
Hi I have been looking at your profile for some time now and would love to come see you but I'm married so will just have to admire you from afar

Why even bother messaging me in the first place ?am I supposed to be greatful or something  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lillys0 on 24 November 2017, 12:50:45 pm
Fucking arseholes today  :FF :FF :FF 2 have passed my phone screening then text me ridiculous shit
Arsehole: can I bring a bottle of vodka?
Me: No
Arsehole : :(
Arsehole: do you do everything on your likes list is there any extras ?
Me: Yes & No
Arsehole: I want to have anal
Me: Anal isn't on my likes list
Arsehole : what if I pay more,?
Blocked

Arsehole 2: ok I will see you later I want deep throat and for you to swallow my cum
Me: it says on my profile that deep throat is size dependent it isnt on my likes list
Arsehole2: I want to do anal with you have you ever done it before I know it isn't on your likes list but I would be really gentle

Blocked


Fucking idiots today I'd rather be in dire poverty than go near them
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 24 November 2017, 01:03:34 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 24 November 2017, 12:29:33 pm
Hi I have been looking at your profile for some time now and would love to come see you but I'm married so will just have to admire you from afar

Why even bother messaging me in the first place ?am I supposed to be greatful or something  :FF
lol they really think that these messages are flattering. They're so self-centred they think their opinion of us is really that valued.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 24 November 2017, 02:11:11 pm
Message I sent back just now maybe should have it on auto reply .

Why is it I am asked for the hours and days I work yet when give members these details they reply with
the times and days I'm not free
I got a message back from one enquiring  oh sorry didn't read properly .
Oh maybe the criteria for booking clients if you can read properly you not only get to talk to me you might even  get a booking !!! ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 24 November 2017, 02:21:58 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 24 November 2017, 12:29:33 pm
Hi I have been looking at your profile for some time now and would love to come see you but I'm married so will just have to admire you from afar

Why even bother messaging me in the first place ?am I supposed to be greatful or something  :FF

This is the sort of thing I posted about in the thread I will not be booking you.

I just ignore, saves a lot of frustration.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 24 November 2017, 03:15:38 pm
Wonder how many of you got this load of bollocks today

Good morning, Hope you are having a nice time and greetings. My name is (name), late 30s, Indian origin but educated in England and living here since last 18 years, 5'10", black hair, blue eyes, 72kg, athletic, dark skin and 8.5" when fully get on. I am looking for some to meet and have fun on regular basis (twice a month or so), with appropriate payments. Ofcourse I will book the hotel and take care of food and drinks. If you are interested, could you drop me a line, or text me on (number).

Unfortunately, im not looking for agencies.

Looking forward to hear from you,

Kind regards

(Name).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 24 November 2017, 03:58:00 pm
8.5 ins!!??

Get yourself over there and give him a right seeing to.

Or perhaps not.  No I haven't had this one but some just as idiotic.  Do some men think we will rush to them because we need a good meal?

I had an email and despite stating I do not do out calls he asked "I know you do not go to visit men but I am different, I am genuine and fit"

oki doki
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 24 November 2017, 04:47:39 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 19 November 2017, 10:51:18 am
hi hun, hope you doing well

would you be interested to spend sometime say a weekend or a long holiday in newcastle, north east uk, with me ?

i will bear all costs related to travel, hotel, meals but no other costs. you could treat this as your very own escort tour and do outcalls or as an all expenses covered holiday break

i am a very sweet, soft spoken, nice 30 plus guy who works in an office full time. i stay single in very posh 4 star hotel accommodations around newcastle town centre or gateshead quayside

whatsapp me on *********** if interested

 ::)

I had him as well. Clearly this is his full time hobby. And Newcastle of all places where the men want it for chicken feed. Errrrr fuck off
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Funkymonkey on 24 November 2017, 06:48:28 pm
Just had the most bizzare string of messages. He sent a message in the middle of the night, so I?m the morning I said did you want yesterday or today? ?I don?t know, I haven?t slept I just need female company? then messages again asking for a booking - I decline and he says ?sorry I read the messages back, I must have been high. I am a frequent drug user but never when I meet someone.? Then ?did we meet somewhere the other day? I hate to offend someone.? (Wtf!?!?) ?I?m so sorry, I?ve read the messages you must think I?m an idiot. Please block me. I want to make it up to you, we could go for dinner or drinks or both.?

Yes I will block you, thanks for the suggestion.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 25 November 2017, 02:14:20 pm
text message:

pussy mouth and ass no condom 90 the hour I can come today now yes

err since my profile clearly states no anal, sex with condom and my hour rate is higher than that...no you may not come today or ever!!!  ;D ::) :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 25 November 2017, 02:51:18 pm
Seriously think I will go crazy if I get one more text/call/email saying "Where you based?" I mean seriously think my ad could literally just say "Outcalls only" a million times and they would still be "Oh you don't do incalls?".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: baijiu on 25 November 2017, 03:28:01 pm
Started taking deposits for outcalls and incalls booked more than a few hours in advance because the timewasters are just frying my brain at the minute and I can't be bothered to deal with them. So, naturally;

Him: [paraphrased] I'd like to book you. I'm not going to pay a deposit because it's probably a scam. You should just ask for a confirmation text.

Me: [paraphrased, curt but still professional] Why contact me if you weren't going to pay a deposit? Confirmation texts are meaningless, no-shows cost me money. I did not ask for your advice. Please don't contact me again.

Him: [paraphrased, it was actually written quite formally in that way guys do when they know they're being twats but feel like they can confound you with good grammar] MASSIVE MAN-BABY TANTRUM YOU'RE AN UGLY STUPID WHORE AND YOU DON'T DO ENOUGH SERVICES AND YOU'RE GREEDY AND YOU CHARGE TOO LITTLE BECAUSE YOU'RE STUPID AND STOP TRYING TO BULLY AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF PUNTERS AND YOU SHOULD PHOTOSHOP YOUR PHOTOS BECAUSE YOU'RE UGLY

He caught my block button pretty quickly. I don't understand how I'm all of a) greedy b) undercharging c) a scam d) not doing enough services. If I were greedy, wouldn't I charge more? If I'm ugly shouldn't I charge less? If I'm a scammer wouldn't I be using fake photos and check every service under the sun just to get the punters in? The logical fallacy is astounding!  ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 26 November 2017, 12:01:44 pm
Starting to regret working on a Sunday.  Just received this moronic text:

Hey babes, are you ok to visit lads cheating on girlfriends? I?m turned on by taking a beautiful escort into her bed while she is away

He didn?t get an answer.....

I?m not even offering outcalls atm anyway :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 26 November 2017, 04:59:17 pm
Call high pitched voice
I'm nervous can I ask you do you have a strap on ?
Yes why ?
How big is it
I saw which stupid way this tw was heading
No thanks bye
Calls back again and asks if  he can take me out for dinner sounds 13yrs old.
no no no  :'(
It's was dead all day until half 3 I get the next call
Can we meet ?
Do you party?
I said when
He said can we do coke  :o
No no no  :'(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 26 November 2017, 07:41:30 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 26 November 2017, 04:59:17 pm
Call high pitched voice
I'm nervous can I ask you do you have a strap on ?
Yes why ?
How big is it
I saw which stupid way this tw was heading
No thanks bye
Calls back again and asks if  he can take me out for dinner sounds 13yrs old.
no no no  :'(
It's was dead all day until half 3 I get the next call
Can we meet ?
Do you party?
I said when
He said can we do coke  :o
No no no  :'(

Wow! that kind of call is a  :FF :FF :FF especially on a Sunday!  ::) lol xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 27 November 2017, 06:08:00 pm
Mmmmm will love to fuck you with my big white cock when you available ? Initially I wasn't going to open the email as he only has two escort feedback from two years ago and one of the girls isn't even active. But I said you know what , let me just open and see. My gut instinct was right. Do girls actually book mother fuckers like this in ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bobbisux on 27 November 2017, 06:38:20 pm
Another one high up in the numpty stakes.

After questions about services and prices he then asked:

'Why would I pay someone as old as you?'

Well given that my age is on my advert, which you have just responded to, why did you waste time making an enquiry?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 27 November 2017, 06:52:26 pm
Quote from: Bobbisux on 27 November 2017, 06:38:20 pm
Another one high up in the numpty stakes.

After questions about services and prices he then asked:

'Why would I pay someone as old as you?'

Well given that my age is on my advert, which you have just responded to, why did you waste time making an enquiry?

I think my reply to that would be "Why would I fuck someone as ignorant as you?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bobbisux on 27 November 2017, 06:53:32 pm
Indeed!

and now onward and upward!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 27 November 2017, 07:37:38 pm
Quote from: Bobbisux on 27 November 2017, 06:38:20 pm
Another one high up in the numpty stakes.

After questions about services and prices he then asked:

'Why would I pay someone as old as you?'

Well given that my age is on my advert, which you have just responded to, why did you waste time making an enquiry?

They just do it to take the piss. Kinda like bullying. Nothing better to do with their lives
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 27 November 2017, 08:39:13 pm
Text from a rude arsehole:  Are you free

Me: Have you never heard of manners

Rude arsehole: Yes I'm well mannered Why do you ask

Blocked and he doesn't even know why lol  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 27 November 2017, 09:02:23 pm
This from someone I have seen before so you think he would know better!
Texts early afternoon asking if I am available today.I texted back my availability and heard jack shit back!
Roll on 3pm and numptybrain texts 'When are you available?'
Told him I had texted my availability and he hadn't got back to me with a time.He said sorry and said 'I don't suppose you would be free now?' I told him that wasn't really making an appointment but if he gave me 15 mins to get ready I would see him.He then tells me 'It's ok I'll try again another time'..Seriously!Just fuck off and don't bother me again!Am so sick of guys being vague and thinking I work in a parlour where i should just be sat in my scanties waiting for them to nip round whenever!
Also had a guy book for 4:30pm then tell me at nearly 4pm he is going to be later than that.He then took 20 mins to tell me he wanted 5pm and then as soon as I started getting ready he cancelled saying that was too late..and he is now saved as a no in my phone!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 27 November 2017, 09:16:31 pm
Can not be bothered with regs who start texting how you fixed today or any chance of a booking later type messages.  They are experienced enough to know how it all works so should know better. I have binned regulars for doing that.  Depending on who it is or how I feel at the time I may ask them to only get in touch when they know for sure they can book and have a definite time in mind then I can respond with a yay or nay.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 27 November 2017, 09:58:04 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 27 November 2017, 06:52:26 pm
I think my reply to that would be "Why would I fuck someone as ignorant as you?"

Good reply!  ;D

I got a 'stunner' last night....

Text message:

Will you give me a golden shower

Ignore but cant lie, very tempted to reply 'no, piss off!'  ::) ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 28 November 2017, 05:09:48 pm
Just had a phone call from a very gruff not very nice voice at first I couldn't make out what he said all I could tell was it was 2 syllables
Him..XXX-XXX
Me..What?
Him..XXX-XXX
Me...Eh?
Him..XXX-XXX
Me..I can't understand what you are saying.
Him..POST CODE!
Me.. Nah mate I still cant understand what you're saying (This Ignoramus isn't getting fuck all from me)
Him..POST CODE!
Me..Nah I still don't get it..
Bye.
He is still repeating it as I'm cutting the call. Oh well I have to get my fun from somewhere lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 28 November 2017, 05:46:34 pm
Hello, what's on your menu for ?40?

 :-X :-X :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 28 November 2017, 05:47:05 pm
 I just had someone email to ask for a booking seemed okay, then got him to make the phone call to secure the day/time, he was quite gruff and says:

I want you to be wearing a dress with no bra and I want a coffee waiting

I answered, pardon me I didn?t hear what you said (actually I did I wanted to see if he had the nerve to repeat it because he made it sound like an order)

He repeated it so I told him to confirm on the day thinking... I don?t want to see this guy... then he sealed his fate by texting to say can I have a face picture  and was I on WhatsApp.

He didn?t get a response and I just blocked him since I knew he was the type of guy I didn?t want to see ... not to mention there is a FAQ addressing face pictures and sexting which is obviously what he was after as some of his feedback mentioned this (sexting) in a positive manner!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: baijiu on 28 November 2017, 06:37:32 pm
Just got this one on AW (whole thing is [sic]);

"hello baby girl,

i would love to get to know u i want to be ya boyfriend

i am good looking guy plus handsome

i am [name] from brazil i live in [area] i live 2mins from [station] give me a call [number]

i would love to work with you or we can work together or i can be ya bitch

i will lick ya pussy so good make ya dreams come true"


My reply: Try www.match.com

Considering it's my dream to never have a man go down on me again (with the exception of my bf if I'm feeling generous), I think he's way off base  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gracious on 29 November 2017, 02:12:49 am
Had a guy today text me asking if Im available and if Im near [his postcode]. Sent him back the link to my ad saying he can ask Google because theres a local postcodes on my ad  :FF

He ended up calling me then I asked him if he'd gone back to my ad to see my postcode: "probably not" what sort of response is that?! Then I advised him how long it would take and asked if he was driving:

No
So are you prepared to take a taxi?
No
Then thanks for wasting my time! Have a great day! *Hung up*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hippydippy on 29 November 2017, 07:10:14 am
"Are you free on Wednesday? I'll give you ?50 for the hour"

Just, no.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 29 November 2017, 09:34:07 am
Just had a text

"Now?"

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 29 November 2017, 01:10:56 pm
Turned on phone this morning to get this text:

Are ya still awake from someone saved as a TW.

I?m not a bloody chat or sexting service!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 29 November 2017, 03:23:15 pm
Quote from: Justine on 27 November 2017, 09:16:31 pm
Can not be bothered with regs who start texting how you fixed today or any chance of a booking later type messages.  They are experienced enough to know how it all works so should know better. I have binned regulars for doing that.  Depending on who it is or how I feel at the time I may ask them to only get in touch when they know for sure they can book and have a definite time in mind then I can respond with a yay or nay.

So many regulars do this. I don't care how many times you've visited, every enquiry should lead with a date, time and booking length. It really frustrates me because it's only wasting their own time too with all the back and forth messaging that it necessitates as you painstakingly extract the info from them!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 29 November 2017, 04:54:09 pm
Quote from: MsLadyV87 on 27 November 2017, 09:58:04 pm
I got a 'stunner' last night....

Text message:

Will you give me a golden shower

Ignore but cant lie, very tempted to reply 'no, piss off!'  ::) ;D
I got the same message earlier this week.  I just blocked the sender without a response.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 29 November 2017, 04:57:53 pm
Quote from: hippydippy on 29 November 2017, 07:10:14 am
"Are you free on Wednesday? I'll give you ?50 for the hour"

Just, no.
But how could you refuse one such offer, HD??  It is the opportunity of a lifetime, IMO.
The cheeky bastard!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 29 November 2017, 05:28:41 pm
Phone call asking me where I was,how much it was for 30 mins,is it blow job without a condom.All the shit he could have read for himself!Followed by 'Can I come twice?' And 'Any chance I can do it for 50?' :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 29 November 2017, 06:25:54 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 29 November 2017, 04:54:09 pm
I got the same message earlier this week.  I just blocked the sender without a response.

Awww I thought I was special!  ;D xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 29 November 2017, 11:42:10 pm
Hi there and how are you
I hope my age isnt an issue as 26
I am curious to know whether I did half or the full hour if I can cum on more than one occasions and where am I allowed to cum and do you profile the following services within the price owo deepthroat and do you accommodate for anal if not it's ok. Also what would you wear to greet me into and where are you located for your incalls bookings
Can I have your number

Well...I clearly state I don't see anyone under 30, that deep throat is only offered in sub bookings which is a minimum of one hour, that I don't do anal, that I don't have a limit on how many times they can cum in the time they book, and my approximate location on my profile. I think he just wanted to a: ask for everything I don't do as well as ask about everything that is already answered if he could only open his eyes and read.   :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hippydippy on 30 November 2017, 03:07:04 am
Quote from: Braziliana on 29 November 2017, 04:57:53 pm
But how could you refuse one such offer, HD??  It is the opportunity of a lifetime, IMO.
The cheeky bastard!

just think of all the bills I can pay with ?50 though  ::)
He didn't even ask though, he just told me. V annoying.. Got another gem today
text- youfree now huni? And then, a dick pic -followed by- suck me bbe. Blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Flamingopenguin on 30 November 2017, 08:47:28 am
When they book you and then on the day say "oh no i am so sorry but a meeting has cropped up that i cannot get out of" pretty much i find this exclusively in londo.. What the heck does everyone spend their days dashing to meetings is that what they all are doing?! If you are "on call" then do not book?! Is it not that simple, Office worker men thinking their time is so much more valuable than mine, cannot wait to get out of london and away from its self obsessed men and back to the countryside!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 30 November 2017, 12:53:34 pm
Quote from: vanille-fille on 30 November 2017, 08:47:28 am
When they book you and then on the day say "oh no i am so sorry but a meeting has cropped up that i cannot get out of" pretty much i find this exclusively in londo.. What the heck does everyone spend their days dashing to meetings is that what they all are doing?! If you are "on call" then do not book?! Is it not that simple, Office worker men thinking their time is so much more valuable than mine, cannot wait to get out of london and away from its self obsessed men and back to the countryside!  ::)

I think you will find a LOT of self obsessed men all over the country.

If someone wants to waste your time they will do it whether they're a financial adviser or a farmer.

Having said that, I had a 30 minute booking with someone who WAS on call and got called back after 10 minutes. He still paid me but I just find it baffling why take the risk of parting with money when they're in a situation like that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 30 November 2017, 01:34:55 pm
text messages. begins with do you 30mins

Err no!

Then says...

ok 1 hour
send address
me now

I say: sorry not free at the moment (even if I was free, the way he spoke is offputting!)  ::)

Amazing response:

fuck of son of bitch
mother fucker
dick cat

Well he sure has a way with the ladies!!!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 30 November 2017, 01:54:14 pm
Quote from: MsLadyV87 on 30 November 2017, 01:34:55 pm
text messages. begins with do you 30mins

Err no!

Then says...

ok 1 hour
send address
me now

I say: sorry not free at the moment (even if I was free, the way he spoke is offputting!)  ::)

Amazing response:

fuck of son of bitch
mother fucker
dick cat

Well he sure has a way with the ladies!!!  ;D

Where are you located as I had an identical running with someone when I had the same issue
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 30 November 2017, 01:57:11 pm
Quote from: English natural beauty on 30 November 2017, 01:54:14 pm
Where are you located as I had an identical running with someone when I had the same issue

:( sorry to hear that. Leicester I am xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 30 November 2017, 02:14:48 pm
Quote from: MsLadyV87 on 30 November 2017, 01:57:11 pm
:( sorry to hear that. Leicester I am xx

Maybe he has an evil twin in a different location haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 30 November 2017, 02:54:48 pm
Quote from: English natural beauty on 30 November 2017, 02:14:48 pm
Maybe he has an evil twin in a different location haha

Thats a scary thought! lol sigh, why do people think they can behave this way?  ::) xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 30 November 2017, 02:55:34 pm
Quote from: MsLadyV87 on 30 November 2017, 02:54:48 pm
Thats a scary thought! lol sigh, why do people think they can behave this way?  ::) xx

Because they are stupid
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 30 November 2017, 03:04:07 pm
Quote from: English natural beauty on 30 November 2017, 02:55:34 pm
Because they are stupid

Yeah I agree but still amazes me! lol

Anyway have a good day and stay safe xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 30 November 2017, 11:21:59 pm
Twat - do you do OWO

Me - yes if you use the shower facilities when you arrive :)

Twat - why I?m the cleanest person alive

Me - I didn?t say you aren?t clean, if it?s goinh to be an issue then cancel

Twat - it was a joke. Il cancel

Me - thank god , your attitude stinks

Twat - says you

???!!! Lmao
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 30 November 2017, 11:23:45 pm
Quote from: MsLadyV87 on 30 November 2017, 03:04:07 pm
Yeah I agree but still amazes me! lol

Anyway have a good day and stay safe xx

Xxxxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 01 December 2017, 12:27:56 pm
Just total silly season so far this week.Seen before clients who should know better asking for 'now' and not being prepared to wait 10 mins while you get ready.Guys booking for 4:30,telling you they are going to be late,telling you a different time and then cancelling 15 mins before.Another seen before who had gfe with me booking then asking if you can do a sub service when you don't advertise anything like that and telling you that he likes submissive girls so will be cancelling ?!?
New blokes asking if you will leave your front door open and you be naked on the bed so he can just walk in (yeah full of those bright ideas)and todays dickhead of the day!
Bloke wanting 2 hours at 4pm today (I only advertise maximum of an hour).Agreed to 1 hour,then asks what time I can do..er 4om which is what he booked!Confirmed this morning and then asked if I can organise a 3some,I declined this.He then tells me he is new to all this,do I want a photo (nope already asked last night as well).I ask him what time he is getting his train over,he ignores this and tells me he will there at 2:30/3pm.At this point I cancel as he doesn't seem to have grasped he has already booked for 4pm!
Can't wait for the weekend.Exhausted with idiots!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 01 December 2017, 04:13:05 pm
All going well until I send my rough location for him to check travel time. Then:

Him-What's the full address?
Me- I don't give that out until you're here.
Him- I need the full street and door number before setting off, I've gone to see other girls who haven't been there before so I do it this way now.
Me- Well I don't. No full address until arrival.
Him- I can't set off until I have the full address.
Me- Then I guess we best leave it and you can book someone else who is willing to do it your way.
Him- It's only an address, can't you just give it to me?
Me- Not until you're here.
Him-Think I'll cancel then.
Me- Okeydoke.

Then sometime later:

Him- Any chance you will give me the full address now?
Me- If what you are saying is true about girls not being there then I'm sorry you experienced that. But pestering me to change my procedures which are in place for my safety isn't going to get you the address. I don't work your way, I work MY way and I will always put my safety above your wants and needs to do things your way.


Silence....  :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 01 December 2017, 04:38:54 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 01 December 2017, 04:13:05 pm
All going well until I send my rough location for him to check travel time. Then:

Him-What's the full address?
Me- I don't give that out until you're here.
Him- I need the full street and door number before setting off, I've gone to see other girls who haven't been there before so I do it this way now.
Me- Well I don't. No full address until arrival.
Him- I can't set off until I have the full address.
Me- Then I guess we best leave it and you can book someone else who is willing to do it your way.
Him- It's only an address, can't you just give it to me?
Me- Not until you're here.
Him-Think I'll cancel then.
Me- Okeydoke.

Then sometime later:

Him- Any chance you will give me the full address now?
Me- If what you are saying is true about girls not being there then I'm sorry you experienced that. But pestering me to change my procedures which are in place for my safety isn't going to get you the address. I don't work your way, I work MY way and I will always put my safety above your wants and needs to do things your way.


Silence....  :FF :FF

Well said Hannaah!! So funny really, that you expect to change the way you work. its annoying at the time but all you can do is laugh I suppose  ::) lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 01 December 2017, 06:33:59 pm
Good for you.
There's nothing wrong with giving just  a postcode the guy is a ass.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 01 December 2017, 07:12:33 pm
Text twat: 'Hi. Am a bit pissed off with my wife. So looking for a good time. R you the right person'
Me: 'No thanks, you sound awful.'
Text twat: '?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 01 December 2017, 07:21:37 pm
Via Text?

Hi are you free tonight, where are you?

Tempted to answer, on the Moon.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 01 December 2017, 07:24:20 pm
Email received today

Hi Hellen. Hope your well? Im interested in a booking tomorrow afternoon around 11am x

Since when is 11am in the afternoon?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 01 December 2017, 07:50:06 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 01 December 2017, 04:13:05 pm
All going well until I send my rough location for him to check travel time. Then:

Him-What's the full address?
Me- I don't give that out until you're here.
Him- I need the full street and door number before setting off, I've gone to see other girls who haven't been there before so I do it this way now.
Me- Well I don't. No full address until arrival.
Him- I can't set off until I have the full address.
Me- Then I guess we best leave it and you can book someone else who is willing to do it your way.
Him- It's only an address, can't you just give it to me?
Me- Not until you're here.
Him-Think I'll cancel then.
Me- Okeydoke.

Then sometime later:

Him- Any chance you will give me the full address now?
Me- If what you are saying is true about girls not being there then I'm sorry you experienced that. But pestering me to change my procedures which are in place for my safety isn't going to get you the address. I don't work your way, I work MY way and I will always put my safety above your wants and needs to do things your way.


Silence....  :FF :FF

The way some of you have full blown conversations with idiots. Lol. I would have blocked and ignored soon as he ask for full address first time. I'm snappy ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 02 December 2017, 03:25:44 pm
Quote from: baijiu on 28 November 2017, 06:37:32 pm
Just got this one on AW (whole thing is [sic]);

"hello baby girl,

i would love to get to know u i want to be ya boyfriend

i am good looking guy plus handsome

i am [name] from brazil i live in [area] i live 2mins from [station] give me a call [number]

i would love to work with you or we can work together or i can be ya bitch

i will lick ya pussy so good make ya dreams come true"


My reply: Try www.match.com

Considering it's my dream to never have a man go down on me again (with the exception of my bf if I'm feeling generous), I think he's way off base  ::)

I just had this today
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 02 December 2017, 06:48:56 pm
E-mail today
Hi you look great can I come over see you and smoke weed ?
 I didn't bother replying
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 03 December 2017, 07:51:43 am
Hi I see yur add online I know u said no texts but are u free are pictures real? how much 15 min? if pic are real ur stunning!!!

No I'm not free, my pics are of my grandma and no just no go away  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 03 December 2017, 09:40:05 am
Guy messaging me since Friday, nicely written texts so I wasn't alerted to TW straight away.  Now I look back on it it was quite obvious really, messages look like they've been sent to many girls as there was no "Hello Lisa" just hello or hey.  By last night I'd saved him in my phone as text pest as it was becoming clear he was a TW.  I'd sent him a link to my profile with all the information on.  Texts again early this morning...just before I call to make an appointment how far are you from xxx station?  I said I don't know I'm not from here as I said on Friday here is a rough location.  Calls, had no idea where he'd seen my ad (even though I'd sent him the link to my profile) when I asked "what sort of services are you looking for?"  his response was "ummm I'm not really sure"  So since in the three days you've been texting me you STILL don't know what you want?  I just hung up he'd wasted enough of my time.  It's the ones who write the polite well written messages that are the worst sometimes as you don't get the TW vibe until it's too late and they've taken up enough of your time!  Idiotic messages just get a straight block. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 03 December 2017, 10:36:28 am
Some texts are obviously written to try to trick us, eg the very polite and articulate ones which are quite obvious to me but since I don't accept or reply to first timers contacting me in any way other than a phone call I am not wasting time responding to idiot messages/emails.

(and someone saying they are good looking and handsome is like saying they are tall and not very short)  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 03 December 2017, 12:23:53 pm
Just had a message on AW asking if he can book today.  Responded please call.  His reply:

"Ok no problem, but I have had so many bad experiences with watersports with women saying they can do it but only managing a trickle and smelling really bad as well. This has been really dissappointing for me just wanted to ask if you can offer this but differently if that makes sense at all?"

Anyone else aware of anyone's piss smelling like roses?   :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 03 December 2017, 12:42:07 pm
Phone call just now, asks for 3pm then..

Me: Do you have any questions?

Chav: I have several (my heart sinks, thinks TW...) First do you have lube or oil?

Me: Well yes (puzzled don?t all escorts?)

Chav: It?s just some don?t have it.  And then it could be a problem if you know what I mean...

Me: I don?t, what do you mean? (determined to make him spell it out)

Chav: Some say I have a large member.....

Me: In that case I?m declining your booking!

<<<hangs up quickly>>>

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Worried93 on 03 December 2017, 05:31:31 pm
Had a massive amount of idiots who haven't read my profile lately (not even the price) yet when I tell them to go and read it they ask for a link because they can't remember my name!!  :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 03 December 2017, 05:37:57 pm
Quote from: Worried93 on 03 December 2017, 05:31:31 pm
Had a massive amount of idiots who haven't read my profile lately (not even the price) yet when I tell them to go and read it they ask for a link because they can't remember my name!!  :FF :FF

Had the same all day on tour, some of them even sounding ok but then....

whereabout are you?

Like you haven?t been ringing escorts ALL day all over the country asking the same thing, get a life dude.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 03 December 2017, 05:38:09 pm
Text from idiot:  "lisa are you working now x" (it's 5.35pm)

Response: "Hi.  Yes I'm working but I'm fully booked.  Thanks, Lisa"

Idiot: "can you come to my house about 9 babe please x"

How is 9pm now?  That's three and a half hours away.  I also finish at 7pm.  I also said I'm fully booked.  I also don't do outcalls. 

Can I bang my head any harder? 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 03 December 2017, 09:23:19 pm
Got the exact same message twice (once last night and same one again today)

How much would you charge for without condom; ive got the Ellaone pill so you wont get pregnant x


The repiles I could of sent back!!!!  ;D ;D but couldnt be bothered. Surely cant be the only one who got this stunner of a work offer!!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 04 December 2017, 01:11:00 pm
Text from idiot: "u working x"

Me: Hello, yes I'm working today the hours are on my profile. Thanks!

Idiot: U do anal

Me: I do offer a levels to my discretion, if we go ahead with it I do charge ?30 extra for that service.  Thanks!

Idiot: Discretion on what situation

Me: Manners and respect for a start. 

BLOCK!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 04 December 2017, 01:57:23 pm
Subject:   Escort Manager


Hey ---
I saw your profile and liked it. I am messaging just to offer my services as an escort manager. My profile lists my services. Even if it's just a photo shoot you want, we can sort something out. If there is anything that you are interested in then give me a message and we can talk about it.

Many Thanks
Dan
D1G Escort Manager
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 04 December 2017, 02:24:43 pm
Hi there can I see you tonight
I explained I'm not workimg later than 5 pm
I'm doing a night shift so need some sleep
He says "why do you bother advertising then?" and put phone down on me
No loss !,
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 04 December 2017, 03:54:00 pm
Bloke who has rung before for details back in October sent me a flowery text going on about he he has seen my profile and private pictures and wants an hour of sex and fun(!) at 5:30pm.
Told him I was fully booked as I didn't really like the sound of him and he then asks 'What about your duo mate?'
Fucking what about her?!?Am I a pimp now?
He is now consigned as 'Bellend' in my phone,my instincts were right the first time he got in touch.
Why the hell would I take a booking for someone else?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: neutralC on 04 December 2017, 11:47:24 pm
Quote from: geordie on 24 November 2017, 03:15:38 pm
Wonder how many of you got this load of bollocks today

Good morning, Hope you are having a nice time and greetings. My name is (name), late 30s, Indian origin but educated in England and living here since last 18 years, 5'10", black hair, blue eyes, 72kg, athletic, dark skin and 8.5" when fully get on. I am looking for some to meet and have fun on regular basis (twice a month or so), with appropriate payments. Ofcourse I will book the hotel and take care of food and drinks. If you are interested, could you drop me a line, or text me on (number).

Unfortunately, im not looking for agencies.

Looking forward to hear from you,

Kind regards

(Name).
.


I got it
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendall on 05 December 2017, 04:26:33 pm
Hi, how long are your overnight if you do any (i dont)
How good are your lap dancing skills and how good are your camel toe effects look forward to reading you soon

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 05 December 2017, 04:28:46 pm
Camel toe effects  ? Dare I ask what these are 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 05 December 2017, 04:47:30 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 03 December 2017, 12:42:07 pm
Phone call just now, asks for 3pm then..

Me: Do you have any questions?

Chav: I have several (my heart sinks, thinks TW...) First do you have lube or oil?

Me: Well yes (puzzled don?t all escorts?)

Chav: It?s just some don?t have it.  And then it could be a problem if you know what I mean...

Me: I don?t, what do you mean? (determined to make him spell it out)

Chav: Some say I have a large member.....

Me: In that case I?m declining your booking!

<<<hangs up quickly>>>

I just had him!!! I'm in Cardiff, I don't know where you are. Soon as he said it I remembered this thread! I also declined the booking, oddly enough  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 05 December 2017, 09:17:25 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 05 December 2017, 04:28:46 pm
Camel toe effects  ? Dare I ask what these are

Basically your pants are too tight, so you give an outline of your vag.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: neutralC on 05 December 2017, 10:38:39 pm
Quote from: kate_x on 26 October 2017, 12:47:40 pm
Email on AW this morning

No CIM? what a waste of time

Doing everything I can to stop myself replying "just like you then"

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lillys0 on 06 December 2017, 03:36:26 am
Quote from: SuperCheese on 04 December 2017, 01:57:23 pm
Subject:   Escort Manager


Hey ---
I saw your profile and liked it. I am messaging just to offer my services as an escort manager. My profile lists my services. Even if it's just a photo shoot you want, we can sort something out. If there is anything that you are interested in then give me a message and we can talk about it.

Many Thanks
Dan
D1G Escort Manager

I had this message I just messaged him back saying escort manager is basically a pimp and pimping is illegal fucking idiot!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lillys0 on 06 December 2017, 03:37:02 am
Quote from: SuperCheese on 04 December 2017, 01:57:23 pm
Subject:   Escort Manager


Hey ---
I saw your profile and liked it. I am messaging just to offer my services as an escort manager. My profile lists my services. Even if it's just a photo shoot you want, we can sort something out. If there is anything that you are interested in then give me a message and we can talk about it.

Many Thanks
Dan
D1G Escort Manager

I had this message I just messaged him back saying escort manager is basically a pimp and pimping is illegal fucking idiot!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lillys0 on 06 December 2017, 03:42:09 am
Quote from: Kdub on 05 December 2017, 04:26:33 pm
Hi, how long are your overnight if you do any (i dont)
How good are your lap dancing skills and how good are your camel toe effects look forward to reading you soon
.  I've had this guy a few times messaging me he does have good feedback for overnights but he wants to play message ping pong and make you agree to anything for money  I blocked him dick head
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 06 December 2017, 08:20:40 am
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 05 December 2017, 04:47:30 pm
I just had him!!! I'm in Cardiff, I don't know where you are. Soon as he said it I remembered this thread! I also declined the booking, oddly enough  ;D

I was touring London, he has no intention of booking or showing up...just likes to ring around, mention his large member and waste our time...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 06 December 2017, 08:34:05 am
Quote from: Gypsy on 05 December 2017, 09:17:25 pm
Basically your pants are too tight, so you give an outline of your vag.

Oh my !!
Thankyou I'd heard the term but never knew until now what it was !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 06 December 2017, 11:44:28 am
Bloody heard it all now!Email on AW,which I think personally has got worse and worse for time wasters the past year,it is almost on a par with Viva Street!
'Heyyy,I was wondering if you are anywhere near Leeds Dock?'
(No real need to wonder as my profile tells them I am near 2 well known and easily looked up locations)
Anyway I answered and got this:
'Oh so you are near blah blah then,that's great.I really love your pictures,I bet you get loads saying that.What are you up to today then?'
(You just know this guy is a tit but I always try and answer politely!)
'Thanks, so were you wanting to book for today?'
'Ahhh no sorry,I just fancied a bit of conversation to curb my horniness and I am trying to find a job,I don't suppose you have any jobs do you or maybe I can be an apprentice lol?'
'I don't wish to be rude but this is an advertising platform for sex workers and their clients not tinder or plenty of fish.I suggest you ring a sex line if you want conversation because frankly why would you think I want to chat when I am working and it would be for free?If you want a job why not invest your time into going to the job centre instead of wasting time on here,there are enough time wasters on this site already'
What the fuck goes through their minds?!? :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendall on 06 December 2017, 11:48:24 am
Quote from: Lillys0 on 06 December 2017, 03:42:09 am
.  I've had this guy a few times messaging me he does have good feedback for overnights but he wants to play message ping pong and make you agree to anything for money  I blocked him dick head

I told him his message read like he had just bashed his head off the keyboard and blocked him
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendall on 06 December 2017, 11:50:10 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 06 December 2017, 11:44:28 am
Bloody heard it all now!Email on AW,which I think personally has got worse and worse for time wasters the past year,it is almost on a par with Viva Street!
'Heyyy,I was wondering if you are anywhere near Leeds Dock?'
(No real need to wonder as my profile tells them I am near 2 well known and easily looked up locations)
Anyway I answered and got this:
'Oh so you are near blah blah then,that's great.I really love your pictures,I bet you get loads saying that.What are you up to today then?'
(You just know this guy is a tit but I always try and answer politely!)
'Thanks, so were you wanting to book for today?'
'Ahhh no sorry,I just fancied a bit of conversation to curb my horniness and I am trying to find a job,I don't suppose you have any jobs do you or maybe I can be an apprentice lol?'
'I don't wish to be rude but this is an advertising platform for sex workers and their clients not tinder or plenty of fish.I suggest you ring a sex line if you want conversation because frankly why would you think I want to chat when I am working and it would be for free?If you want a job why not invest your time into going to the job centre instead of wasting time on here,there are enough time wasters on this site already'
What the fuck goes through their minds?!? :FF

Leeds seems to be fuckwit central right now, I can't remember the last time I received a sensible well thought out message
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 06 December 2017, 12:03:39 pm
I was saying to a mate that I can't remember the last time someone just booked in with no drama except for regulars and even they seem to be on crack lately,asking to see me now and when I ask for 15 mins to get ready being told 'Oh no I'll leave it for another day then'.All enquiries at the moment seem to want to play 20 questions or faf about with times etc.Really a bad few weeks.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 06 December 2017, 08:54:52 pm
Quote from: LisaLisa on 04 December 2017, 01:11:00 pm
Text from idiot: "u working x"

Me: Hello, yes I'm working today the hours are on my profile. Thanks!

Idiot: U do anal

Me: I do offer a levels to my discretion, if we go ahead with it I do charge ?30 extra for that service.  Thanks!

Idiot: Discretion on what situation

Me: Manners and respect for a start. 

BLOCK!

Oh so there are girls who respond to "u working text" I don't even respond  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 06 December 2017, 09:11:00 pm
Hey can you visit me in my lorry
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lalalondon on 06 December 2017, 10:49:41 pm
Quote from: GothGirl on 06 December 2017, 09:11:00 pm
Hey can you visit me in my lorry

How can you say no?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 07 December 2017, 12:04:07 am
From:   number_sexy (2) Profile Notes  Escort Booking View All

Subject:   (my AW name)


Hi sweet do you like to play with big cooks ;)

My reply:

Only if the person with the big cocks has some big cash in his hand :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 07 December 2017, 08:28:23 am
Quote from: Michelle12 on 06 December 2017, 08:54:52 pm
Oh so there are girls who respond to "u working text" I don't even respond  ::)

Sometimes I do sometimes I don't.  It depends.  If I feel like it might be fun to respond and I've got a couple of minutes on my hands then I do.  If I'm really busy or would rather do something else I don't lol.  But pressing the send button on manners and respect and then following with the block button was rather satisfying lol. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 07 December 2017, 09:14:15 am
E-mail @  2am u free .
I had  messaged  back at  7am. Asking him
Where on my profile did it say I'm available  at 2am ?  :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: neutralC on 07 December 2017, 10:39:58 am
His first message:

Hi, I'm visiting London for work and business, but would like a submissive GF experience before my week. Thinking of visiting xxxx. If you want to join me, we can go together before going to my apartment, but if you're not interested, please say so, so we can skip the pretending you like it part. Not sure how much time xxxx but I'm thinking it will take like an hour and another hour at my apartment. Please give me a quote on something like that, obviously I'll compensate any deviance that may occurre... Hope you are available in that period of time and waiting to hear from you

His second message:
Hi xxxxx
xxxxxx
One more thing, I'm picky about cute faces and am happy to send you a picture of myself in exchange for yours in advance to avoid confusion early at the beginning, but if not, I'm still happy to kick off with a blind date kind of thing.


 ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LondonNatalie on 07 December 2017, 11:23:19 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 06 December 2017, 11:44:28 am
Bloody heard it all now!Email on AW,which I think personally has got worse and worse for time wasters the past year,it is almost on a par with Viva Street!
'Heyyy,I was wondering if you are anywhere near Leeds Dock?'
(No real need to wonder as my profile tells them I am near 2 well known and easily looked up locations)
Anyway I answered and got this:
'Oh so you are near blah blah then,that's great.I really love your pictures,I bet you get loads saying that.What are you up to today then?'
(You just know this guy is a tit but I always try and answer politely!)
'Thanks, so were you wanting to book for today?'
'Ahhh no sorry,I just fancied a bit of conversation to curb my horniness and I am trying to find a job,I don't suppose you have any jobs do you or maybe I can be an apprentice lol?'
'I don't wish to be rude but this is an advertising platform for sex workers and their clients not tinder or plenty of fish.I suggest you ring a sex line if you want conversation because frankly why would you think I want to chat when I am working and it would be for free?If you want a job why not invest your time into going to the job centre instead of wasting time on here,there are enough time wasters on this site already'
What the fuck goes through their minds?!? :FF

I know! Like I'm sure there's still sex chat rooms around for that.

I had a guy text me yesterday asking where I am, which is clearly stated on my profile, London. Then he writes back that he is in Birmingham. Then he was confused that I couldn't see him, which should have been pretty obvious. Then he tells me he is looking for a lady 60-85 years old and where can he find one, can I send him links. I answered look online. He comes back, do you have any friends that could, do you know any porn studios I want to be a bi porn star. I was like WTF?!?!

Had two emails yesterday as well, with one wanting to chat and another wanting to date. I blocked both. I really don't get why some guys seem to think it's a dating site.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katiexxx on 07 December 2017, 02:30:31 pm
The best joke of 2017.

Hi

will you be left alone in the UK on Christmas Day ? I know how lonely that can be. I can offer a good dinner, drinks and company for the day, including travel, in return for sex. Would this interest you ?

Dave x
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 08 December 2017, 08:07:45 am
Text at 3.46am: Hi are you available? Is it extra for two men? Xx

I finished work at 8pm. Nowhere on my profile does it say I cater to two men.  Nowhere does it say I work all night.  And even if I did cater to two men and work all night, do you really think I'd let two men I've never met before into my apartment in the middle of the night, for them both to have sex with me, without charging anymore than I would for one man during the day?  I honestly do think some of these guys don't think of us as human.  That we'll do anything, anytime, for money. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 08 December 2017, 08:24:43 am
Quote from: Katiexxx on 07 December 2017, 02:30:31 pm
The best joke of 2017.

Hi

will you be left alone in the UK on Christmas Day ? I know how lonely that can be. I can offer a good dinner, drinks and company for the day, including travel, in return for sex. Would this interest you ?

Dave x

How tempting what's his postcode loads of ladies should turn up ..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 08 December 2017, 08:49:59 am
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 08 December 2017, 08:24:43 am
How tempting what's his postcode loads of ladies should turn up ..

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katiexxx on 08 December 2017, 09:17:55 am
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 08 December 2017, 08:24:43 am
How tempting what's his postcode loads of ladies should turn up ..

I think he would target EE girls because we are so lonely during the xmass, missing our families and would fuck stranger for turkey and Yorkshire puddings  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: londonfox on 08 December 2017, 12:00:22 pm
Quote from: Katiexxx on 08 December 2017, 09:17:55 am
I think he would target EE girls because we are so lonely during the xmass, missing our families and would fuck stranger for turkey and Yorkshire puddings  ;D

I literally would.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 08 December 2017, 12:42:58 pm
'Spunk gravy'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katiexxx on 08 December 2017, 02:42:21 pm
Quote from: londonfox on 08 December 2017, 12:00:22 pm
I literally would.
;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MelissaS on 08 December 2017, 08:46:41 pm
Idiot on Whatsapp. (Which says on my tag line for new clients to call me)

"Hi babe send me a pic of you x"

"You must have got the wrong number, my name isn't Babe."

"Ok flower"

"It's not Flower either. Don't contact me again."

"No probs duck"

I genuinely couldn't tell if he was taking the piss or just stupid and oblivious to what I was implying.  ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 08 December 2017, 11:03:32 pm
Hi,

Reading about you volunteering to work for animal charities just makes you a wonderful person.

I've always loved animals, they're amazing creatures and I'll definitely have to book to see you now ha.


His profile states they are a gay couple who entertain ladies for a fee.  ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 08 December 2017, 11:18:14 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 08 December 2017, 11:03:32 pm
Hi,

Reading about you volunteering to work for animal charities just makes you a wonderful person.

I've always loved animals, they're amazing creatures and I'll definitely have to book to see you now ha.


His profile states they are a gay couple who entertain ladies for a fee.  ::) ::)

OMG reply "you sound like an amazing pair of animals (pigs)"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Z on 09 December 2017, 11:25:51 am
Quote from: katrina on 08 December 2017, 11:18:14 pm
OMG reply "you sound like an amazing pair of animals (pigs)"

  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 09 December 2017, 04:19:10 pm
Bloody idiot via text 'Can I meet you today?'
Asked him for a time and I get 'Hopefully for 4pm and an hour,what do I get in an hour (stupid winky emoji)'
Referred him to my profile only to get 'Yeah that is fine.Do you do kissing and can I lick your pussy?'
Getting annoyed now as he clearly hasn't read my profile the first time or the second time when I asked him to!
He then sends me fairly unintelligible texts saying basically it's difficult for him to read it as he is driving!!!
At which point I asked him if he was daft or something and how was he playing text tennis when driving!Arsehole!Told him to try contacting me when he could actually concentrate on what he was doing and preferably when he isn't endangering himself and other motorists!I despair sometimes! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 09 December 2017, 04:29:17 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 09 December 2017, 04:19:10 pm
Bloody idiot via text 'Can I meet you today?'
Asked him for a time and I get 'Hopefully for 4pm and an hour,what do I get in an hour (stupid winky emoji)'
Referred him to my profile only to get 'Yeah that is fine.Do you do kissing and can I lick your pussy?'
Getting annoyed now as he clearly hasn't read my profile the first time or the second time when I asked him to!
He then sends me fairly unintelligible texts saying basically it's difficult for him to read it as he is driving!!!
At which point I asked him if he was daft or something and how was he playing text tennis when driving!Arsehole!Told him to try contacting me when he could actually concentrate on what he was doing and preferably when he isn't endangering himself and other motorists!I despair sometimes! :FF

I suriously feel your pain.  :FF  Stupid saturday day today lol xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 09 December 2017, 06:26:59 pm
Saturday has been full of wankers for me
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 09 December 2017, 07:46:08 pm
I didn't bother working today.I was meant to be going to my flat early doors for a duo but he didn't confirm and so after that numpty got in touch I took my number down and got on with Christmas shopping and sorting my tax receipts.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Xkandpx on 09 December 2017, 10:23:25 pm
Quote from: GothGirl on 06 December 2017, 09:11:00 pm
Hey can you visit me in my lorry

We do that all the time... were very central near several motorways and major roads. Truckers are easy money and generally very nice.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MelissaS on 10 December 2017, 03:48:29 pm
First idiot of the day

Wants to visit for half an hour, seems alright enough I suppose, maybe a bit slow.

Me "Have you checked my rates and enjoys list?"

Punter "No, why? Should I have?"

Me "Well if you haven't checked my rates you won't know what to pay me for a start"
 ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katyk1974 on 10 December 2017, 11:04:51 pm
Offered ?300 to see a client every week for a month!
What an insult!
I charge ?150 so that's ?600 a month FFS!
Arghhhhhhhhhhh  :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: neutralC on 11 December 2017, 03:41:11 pm
Quote from: MelissaS on 10 December 2017, 03:48:29 pm
First idiot of the day

Wants to visit for half an hour, seems alright enough I suppose, maybe a bit slow.

Me "Have you checked my rates and enjoys list?"

Punter "No, why? Should I have?"

Me "Well if you haven't checked my rates you won't know what to pay me for a start"
 ::) ::) ::)

Lol. Did he reply?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GG on 12 December 2017, 04:52:29 am
Saturday was full of idiots, I stayed over at my apartment as I had a busy Friday night and was debating working Saturday morning, it was all depending if my new car was going to be ready to collect. looked at my phone around 8.30am and I had missed calls and texts off this number around 4am saying He had 'seen my profile' so half asleep I text him back asking him if he 'saw' the part that says 'Please refrain from contacting me between 8pm - 8am.'
Twit - 'No...... are you available now'
Me - 'No'
He then calls me around 2 hours later and I pick up as I'm in a good mood. (the garage had called to say my new car was ready  ;D ;D ;D) He sounds like a young Asian Chav

Twit - 'Are you available now'
Me - 'No I'm not working today (me feeling very pleased with myself  ;D) I'm going to pick up my new car'
Twit - 'Can I come with you'
Me - 'WTF did you hear what I just said'
Twit - 'Yes'
Me - pmsl.... 'I don't even know you why the fu(k would I take you anywhere with me'
Twit - 'Pleaseeeeee I've got nowhere to go I've been drinking all night and I cant go home I'm just driving around in my car with nowhere to go'
He pauses for a second, obviously thinks he's got a bright idea and says
'Do you want me to take you there......I've got my car'

So I put the phone down pmsl, dumfounded & scared at the same time at the thought of this guy with nowhere to go....drinking all night and thinking I would go anywhere with him never mind let him drive me there, go into the living room and re-tell the conversation to Chloe (another escort renting a room for the weekend) Just as I finish her work phone rings so I say watch out it doesn't end with ### .....
Guess what it does so when he asks her if she's available she says 'I'm not working today I'm going to collect my new car'
and the twit has exactly the same convo with her but adds in:

Twit - 'but pleaseeeee I really have nowhere to go... I have been drinking all night and cant go back to my 'Padmates' stinking of booze
Chloe - ' I think he means his mum and dad'   ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 12 December 2017, 11:36:58 am
Moron:Hi,where do you live?(You know just from this he is a knob but I thought I would humour him!)
Me:I am based in Leeds City Centre
Moron:Are you a lesbian?
Me:???No why?
Moron:Would you kiss another girl?
Me:Why are you asking?
Moron:Cos I want to watch that and possibly join in and cos I love it!
Me:So you are enquiring about a duo then?
Moron:Yeah
Me:Ok when?
Moron:Saturday like 12
Me:I'm not working this weekend.I can do a duo tomorrow,Thursday or Friday
Moron:When you available on a weekend?
Me:(Already decided this is a timewaster)Not until after Christmas.
Moron:Book me in for Thursday then.
Me:Ok what time and how long for?
Moron:Well what does the duo thing include?
Me:May I ask where you got my number?
Moron:Adultwork
Me:Ok so my rates,details and what services I offer are there in black and white.
Moron:Yeah but it doesn't say what a duo includes.
Me:Do you think it may include the services I advertise or do you think I do completely different things in a duo?Also there is a tab dedicated to 'duos' on my profile!
Moron:Where is that then?
Me:On the grey box that says Duos?You click on it?!
Moron:Sorry what is your name?
Me:Are you kidding me?Please go and contact someone else.

I woke up to 2 more texts from this fool, asking me if it is 120 for 30 mins and telling me how much he wants to see me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 12 December 2017, 11:38:52 am
And this beauty via email even though I don't offer domination and quite frankly even if I did his wording would immediately scream one handed typing!
Hello beautiful sexy Bibi

I'm trying to be rather discreet in making sure you're ok with what I'm looking for before I try to make an appointment. Also I'm very new at this so please do forgive me if I say anything that offends you.

My name is Mike *Dickhead* and I'm 42 year old, successful professional Caucasian guy. I just love sexy bbw and I think you look like an amazingly sexy and beautiful woman. I love that you squirt, I would love to have you cumming all over my face. If you are willing and able, I would love to explore a very intimate and erotic femdom fantasy with you where you are a very powerful and very dominant queen and I am your very obedient and very submissive and pleasing personal pleasure slave, So as your slave, you have complete and total control and domination over me at all times, I am your owned property, your erotic pleasure slave, your filthy slut and anything else you want me to be and all you have to do is demand what you want me to do and I have to do absolutely anything and everything you command me to without exception, no matter how dirty, filthy or nasty.

So this powerful queen loves to use me in every and any way she wants to for her sexual pleasures, as erotic and nasty as she wants to be with me. So every time she wants to force me to worship, pleasure and satisfy her this is how she does it...... She always starts by ordering me to get naked. She than enjoys bending me over and giving me some good, stiff hard spanking and paddling on my tender ass until she turns me a nice shade of red, and then she sternly commands me to get on my knees before my queen, and than she forces me to explicitly beg and plead with her to allow me to lick and eat Her Majesty's beautiful ass and her exquisite royal cunt.

So than after I've done as she commands and begged and pleaded with her, she forces me to spend a lot of time eating and pleasuring her ass and her cunt in absolutely any and every filthy, raunchy way she desires and commands me to, and especially including a lot of fully naked full weight facesitting and smothering, both ass smothering and full queening too, just as completely intimate, nasty and erotic as she can possibly be with me, forcing me to keep on licking, sucking and eating both her ass and her cunt really deep and really good for just as much and as long as she commands me to, until she's very fully and deeply pleased and satisfied. I would love to have you take complete and total control and domination of me and force me to do this to you until you cum all over my face and drench and drown me in your delicious hot wet cum.

And the whole entire time she's'forcing me to pleasure and satisfy her she keeps constantly talking very dirty and nasty to me, sternly demanding real explicitly every single specific dirty raunchy little thing she wants me to do to her to pleasure and satisfy her because it brings her great enjoyment to give me filthy erotic commands and force me to perform them on her for her pleasure.

Sorry that was so long but my fantasies tend to be very vivid detailed creative type scenarios, and as you can tell details are pretty important to me. So please just kindly reply and let me know exactly how you feel about doing this and indulging in this fantasy with me and if so I would like to make an appointment as soon as you are available.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 12 December 2017, 02:28:27 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 12 December 2017, 11:38:52 am
And this beauty via email even though I don't offer domination and quite frankly even if I did his wording would immediately scream one handed typing!
Hello beautiful sexy Bibi

I'm trying to be rather discreet in making sure you're ok with what I'm looking for before I try to make an appointment. Also I'm very new at this so please do forgive me if I say anything that offends you...

He's a timewaster - has contacted me twice recently with more or less the same email. Considering you're in Leeds and I'm in Watford I think he's unlikely to be genuine! Also, I told him last month it wasn't my type of booking, but he still emailed (even longer message this time) again last week.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 12 December 2017, 04:01:04 pm
My friend & I are in the same hotel ( by accident )
So we are hanging out a bit having a drink and it's amazing how many guys book my friend then call me to try and book me as well.

We had one guy calling us both trying to book us both for 2 days at the same time  - twat

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 12 December 2017, 07:21:40 pm
This email made me laugh..


Can I bring you money and then you tell me to fuck off
Love being used

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 12 December 2017, 07:36:31 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 12 December 2017, 07:21:40 pm
This email made me laugh..


Can I bring you money and then you tell me to fuck off
Love being used
Now that would be the best booking ever!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 12 December 2017, 07:53:31 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 12 December 2017, 07:36:31 pm
Now that would be the best booking ever!
I replied with..
Ha Ha if only you were genuine!

He emailed..
Try me

I replied..
OK buy a weeks worth of my private gallery..(I went into my profile and upped the weeks fee to 10 credits)

I wont hold my breath.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 13 December 2017, 08:12:29 am
Phone chat
 Hi can you blackmail me ?
He says I want u to call my wife and rell her im having sex with other women .
The phone line went very quiet
Oops I got disconnected was bored already. ..
I got 2 credits for that nonsense
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 13 December 2017, 08:01:02 pm
Quote from: mature helen on 12 December 2017, 07:53:31 pm
I replied with..
Ha Ha if only you were genuine!

He emailed..
Try me

I replied..
OK buy a weeks worth of my private gallery..(I went into my profile and upped the weeks fee to 10 credits)

I wont hold my breath.
I was right  ;D When you put these fantasists on the spot they crawl into the woodwork where they belong.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 13 December 2017, 08:55:24 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 13 December 2017, 08:12:29 am
Phone chat
 Hi can you blackmail me ?
He says I want u to call my wife and rell her im having sex with other women .
The phone line went very quiet
Oops I got disconnected was bored already. ..
I got 2 credits for that nonsense

I'm sure I had a text saying similar recently!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 14 December 2017, 01:32:31 pm
AW Email: firstly he?s never contacted me before, secondly I?m not a big woman, so clearly an unconvincing cut n paste job...

I have been trying without any success to arrange to see you for a while now. I'm determined that this week I will be successful as I'm free during the day all week as I am recuperating from a minor operation. Are YOU available during the day today or Fri and if so would you be interested in a 1 hr appointment? I have quite a thing for big women and women's feet so would like to spend some of the time kissing and caressing your feet and sucking your toes but also leading on to more conventional sex. So what do you say - - can we make an appointment at last? Please say yes. Kisses.....David xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kitty_69 on 14 December 2017, 03:11:10 pm
email on AW

Hey,

I am a photographer based in Northamptonshire and I was wondering if you would be interested in a free Photoshoot/exchange of services?

I can provide you with lots of High-quality shots that can be used on your profile or as a gift for those that gain access to your private gallery.(Making you money for each person who views them)

*All photos will be one hundred percent yours and will not be distributed posted or sold anywhere.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 14 December 2017, 03:32:56 pm
LOL. He hit me up a couple of weeks ago when I was in Yorkshire. He's casting his net wide!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 14 December 2017, 04:14:09 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 14 December 2017, 01:32:31 pm
AW Email: firstly he?s never contacted me before, secondly I?m not a big woman, so clearly an unconvincing cut n paste job...

I have been trying without any success to arrange to see you for a while now. I'm determined that this week I will be successful as I'm free during the day all week as I am recuperating from a minor operation. Are YOU available during the day today or Fri and if so would you be interested in a 1 hr appointment? I have quite a thing for big women and women's feet so would like to spend some of the time kissing and caressing your feet and sucking your toes but also leading on to more conventional sex. So what do you say - - can we make an appointment at last? Please say yes. Kisses.....David xx

Oh fuckit. I got this too and replied. I mean, it was a big fat NO, but I bothered to explain why. Dammit.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 14 December 2017, 04:27:38 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 14 December 2017, 04:14:09 pm
Oh fuckit. I got this too and replied. I mean, it was a big fat NO, but I bothered to explain why. Dammit.

Whereabouts are you.

I'm thinking he spammed a shed load of us...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 14 December 2017, 09:06:27 pm

Hi Hun, it will be an honour to have you :) btw I like what I see and your profile sounds and looks great. Would like to pretend to be your neighbour walking in on you finding you asleep naked in bed and waking you up either with my wet tongue between your legs or giving you my cock to suck and you pretend its a dream although you know its your neighbour but you dont want me to stop and want me to carry on..also I have a thing to spill some rose then lick and sip some from your wet juicy n yummy pussy :)..if it further excites you we can make it more adventurous with you being blindfolded and we having a total stranger encounter and doing it without seeing each other xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lalalondon on 14 December 2017, 09:28:29 pm
Quote from: GG on 14 December 2017, 09:06:27 pm
Hi Hun, it will be an honour to have you :) btw I like what I see and your profile sounds and looks great. Would like to pretend to be your neighbour walking in on you finding you asleep naked in bed and waking you up either with my wet tongue between your legs or giving you my cock to suck and you pretend its a dream although you know its your neighbour but you dont want me to stop and want me to carry on..also I have a thing to spill some rose then lick and sip some from your wet juicy n yummy pussy :)..if it further excites you we can make it more adventurous with you being blindfolded and we having a total stranger encounter and doing it without seeing each other xx

Snap!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 15 December 2017, 12:47:12 am
Quote from: SimplySinful on 14 December 2017, 04:27:38 pm
Whereabouts are you.

I'm thinking he spammed a shed load of us...

London. You?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MelissaS on 15 December 2017, 10:10:41 am
Message last night from a client earlier this week.

"Hey thanks for my feedback, I've written you a field report. It's not normally my thing to do but you deserved it. If you ever feel like offering a freebie feel free to get in touch lol x"

 ??? I'm missing the thought pattern there but I suppose I'm seeing the funny side  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 15 December 2017, 04:18:57 pm
Quote from: MelissaS on 15 December 2017, 10:10:41 am
Message last night from a client earlier this week.

"Hey thanks for my feedback, I've written you a field report. It's not normally my thing to do but you deserved it. If you ever feel like offering a freebie feel free to get in touch lol x"

 ??? I'm missing the thought pattern there but I suppose I'm seeing the funny side  ::)

His probably had other ladies offer him a free shag for giving a glowing field report so he thought he can chance it with you. What a cheek :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 15 December 2017, 04:23:24 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 15 December 2017, 12:47:12 am
London. You?

I'm in Sussex maybe only we in the SE were the lucky ones to be spammed  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarastar1 on 16 December 2017, 03:58:44 pm
Had this corker in my inbox this morning!

"Hey, can I ask you a weird theoretical question? I broke up with my girlfriend of six years after she convinced me to have a threesome with this huge muscular alpha male guy from her gym. Half way through he handcuffed me to the bed and made me watch as he did her, made her say things. Turns out she had been cheating on me with him for three months and he was mad she wouldn't leave me. Since then we broke up and I've started dating other people, but it affects me in weird ways. If you started dating a guy this happened to would you want him to tell you? Or would you just not want to know?"


I basically told him to call if he wanted a booking.....guess what he didn't call!

Then just now a guy with ZERO feedback asking with no introduction or detail if I would like a trip to France?!?!

All the odd ones are creeping out of the woodwork at the moment lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 16 December 2017, 04:18:15 pm
Quote from: Sarastar1 on 16 December 2017, 03:58:44 pm
All the odd ones are creeping out of the woodwork at the moment lol

Agreed  ::) ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 16 December 2017, 05:42:36 pm
Quote from: Sarastar1 on 16 December 2017, 03:58:44 pm
Then just now a guy with ZERO feedback asking with no introduction or detail if I would like a trip to France?!?!

All the odd ones are creeping out of the woodwork at the moment lol

Just got this one too   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarastar1 on 16 December 2017, 08:13:49 pm
Quote from: Shwiftysquancher91 on 16 December 2017, 05:42:36 pm
Just got this one too   ;D

Haha what a weirdo lol I mean I don't offer international bookings and I was at the end of my tether today due to a few TWs and the fact it's so bloody slow I was ready to wind him up and lead him on for a laugh but I really wonder sometimes what kinda fool it is behind the screen sending that message.
I'm really hoping it picks up this week as it's been like getting blood out of a stone and when u get a booking the phone is ringing big time so u miss loads of potential good calls. Bring on next week x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: dalish on 16 December 2017, 08:30:56 pm
"Hello
My name is [NAME]. I'm here for seeking services and I?m not an escort.

I?ve met two escorts but that was just for coffee. But now I wish to have an appointment but I require something special. I can tell you the details of what I want in my second message, if you are willing to cater my needs. But before telling you what I need, I like to see if you are an experienced lady to help me, so I have couple of questions to ask you just to see if you are experienced enough to help me with my needs. I?m a 37 yr old woman with 2 kids and a family, so if you are a woman then you will understand why I am so concerned and why I really wish to be sure about you.

I like to ask you, in course of escorting you might have seen different ethnicity men, so my question is whether black men in ?average? are better in sex, with more girth and size as compared to other ethnicity men? Yes I know black men can also be small but my question is if you think black men on ?average? are better, girthy and bigger?
And secondly, have you ever had a threesome or are you okay with a threesome?

If you are willing to go ahead then please render your answers to the above and I can tell you in detail as to what I require. I am a married woman with kids so hope you as a woman can understand my concerns. So hope you are an understanding, open minded and friendly lady.
x"

Uh huh.  You're a woman who wants to know if black men have bigger dicks.  May I suggest letting go of your own first, "Madam"?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Z on 16 December 2017, 08:47:28 pm
Quote from: dalish on 16 December 2017, 08:30:56 pm
"Uh huh.  You're a woman who wants to know if black men have bigger dicks.  May I suggest letting go of your own first, "Madam"?
  ;D best response.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 16 December 2017, 09:16:22 pm
Quote from: dalish on 16 December 2017, 08:30:56 pm
"Hello
My name is [NAME]. I'm here for seeking services and I?m not an escort.

I?ve met two escorts but that was just for coffee. But now I wish to have an appointment but I require something special. I can tell you the details of what I want in my second message, if you are willing to cater my needs. But before telling you what I need, I like to see if you are an experienced lady to help me, so I have couple of questions to ask you just to see if you are experienced enough to help me with my needs. I?m a 37 yr old woman with 2 kids and a family, so if you are a woman then you will understand why I am so concerned and why I really wish to be sure about you.

I like to ask you, in course of escorting you might have seen different ethnicity men, so my question is whether black men in ?average? are better in sex, with more girth and size as compared to other ethnicity men? Yes I know black men can also be small but my question is if you think black men on ?average? are better, girthy and bigger?
And secondly, have you ever had a threesome or are you okay with a threesome?

If you are willing to go ahead then please render your answers to the above and I can tell you in detail as to what I require. I am a married woman with kids so hope you as a woman can understand my concerns. So hope you are an understanding, open minded and friendly lady.
x"

Uh huh.  You're a woman who wants to know if black men have bigger dicks.  May I suggest letting go of your own first, "Madam"?

All that comes to mind when reading that is WTF???? Really??? (wish there was lol smiley face on there) lol. Suppose you got to laugh  ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 16 December 2017, 10:16:53 pm
Quote from: dalish on 16 December 2017, 08:30:56 pm
"Hello
My name is [NAME]. I'm here for seeking services and I?m not an escort.

I?ve met two escorts but that was just for coffee. But now I wish to have an appointment but I require something special. I can tell you the details of what I want in my second message, if you are willing to cater my needs. But before telling you what I need, I like to see if you are an experienced lady to help me, so I have couple of questions to ask you just to see if you are experienced enough to help me with my needs. I?m a 37 yr old woman with 2 kids and a family, so if you are a woman then you will understand why I am so concerned and why I really wish to be sure about you.

I like to ask you, in course of escorting you might have seen different ethnicity men, so my question is whether black men in ?average? are better in sex, with more girth and size as compared to other ethnicity men? Yes I know black men can also be small but my question is if you think black men on ?average? are better, girthy and bigger?
And secondly, have you ever had a threesome or are you okay with a threesome?

If you are willing to go ahead then please render your answers to the above and I can tell you in detail as to what I require. I am a married woman with kids so hope you as a woman can understand my concerns. So hope you are an understanding, open minded and friendly lady.
x"

Uh huh.  You're a woman who wants to know if black men have bigger dicks.  May I suggest letting go of your own first, "Madam"?

lol this one's been doing the rounds recently
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss harlequin on 17 December 2017, 08:27:49 am
Quote from: dalish on 16 December 2017, 08:30:56 pm
"Hello
My name is [NAME]. I'm here for seeking services and I?m not an escort.

I?ve met two escorts but that was just for coffee. But now I wish to have an appointment but I require something special. I can tell you the details of what I want in my second message, if you are willing to cater my needs. But before telling you what I need, I like to see if you are an experienced lady to help me, so I have couple of questions to ask you just to see if you are experienced enough to help me with my needs. I?m a 37 yr old woman with 2 kids and a family, so if you are a woman then you will understand why I am so concerned and why I really wish to be sure about you.

I like to ask you, in course of escorting you might have seen different ethnicity men, so my question is whether black men in ?average? are better in sex, with more girth and size as compared to other ethnicity men? Yes I know black men can also be small but my question is if you think black men on ?average? are better, girthy and bigger?
And secondly, have you ever had a threesome or are you okay with a threesome?

If you are willing to go ahead then please render your answers to the above and I can tell you in detail as to what I require. I am a married woman with kids so hope you as a woman can understand my concerns. So hope you are an understanding, open minded and friendly lady.
x"

Uh huh.  You're a woman who wants to know if black men have bigger dicks.  May I suggest letting go of your own first, "Madam"?

I had the same one she has 2 feedback too however I just deleted and blocked as I have a cold and couldn?t be bothered thinking up a sarky response lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 17 December 2017, 09:43:36 am
Quote from: Miss harlequin on 17 December 2017, 08:27:49 am
I had the same one she has 2 feedback too however I just deleted and blocked as I have a cold and couldn?t be bothered thinking up a sarky response lol

I had the same email last night. He must be spamming us all  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 17 December 2017, 10:39:25 am
Stupid twat sent through a random booking request even though my diary is locked down.10 hours for 100 at 9:30pm tonight for an outcall.I am incall only,I don't work Sunday's,I finish at 7pm anyway,I don't see under 25's and I ask that clients contact me first before putting in a request.So not a word has he read on my profile and he apparently only joined yesterday but knows how to bypass the closed diary!Very suspicious!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 17 December 2017, 02:44:33 pm
Un believable. A guy who I saw last week for 30 minutes, was a very awkward booking and he couldn?t maintain an errection/come, I vowed not to see him again...

Missed call and text today:

Hi its X I saw you last week if you remember me I hope you do. Sorry again for struggling to get hard enough, been doctors all ok now. I only have ?20 can I see you now and make up for last time?

What the actual fuck? It?s actually made me quite angry, the bare faced cheek of it. I mean I wouldn?t see him if he paid double, and he offers me ?20, so he can make it up to me?  So I see him for a pittance and he?s somehow doing me a favour.  When I could be doing something more interesting, like cleaning the loo.

I was lost for words, he is now blocked with a capital B.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 17 December 2017, 06:59:51 pm
Cleaning the loo - that's hilarious! Probably cos I would only think the same thing  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 18 December 2017, 08:43:15 pm
Do you have kik I?m working here and staying to night and driving back to London tomorrow moring I have 250
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 18 December 2017, 09:05:54 pm
Idiot: do you do cim?
Me: No, read my profile
Idiot: how about owo?
Idiot: do you lick balls?
Idiot: how old are you?
Idiot: what's your number?
Idiot: ?????
Idiot: ??????????
Idiot: so do you do cim?
Me: *blocked*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Romily on 18 December 2017, 09:53:53 pm
Quote from: dalish on 16 December 2017, 08:30:56 pm
"Hello
My name is [NAME]. I'm here for seeking services and I?m not an escort.

I?ve met two escorts but that was just for coffee. But now I wish to have an appointment but I require something special. I can tell you the details of what I want in my second message, if you are willing to cater my needs. But before telling you what I need, I like to see if you are an experienced lady to help me, so I have couple of questions to ask you just to see if you are experienced enough to help me with my needs. I?m a 37 yr old woman with 2 kids and a family, so if you are a woman then you will understand why I am so concerned and why I really wish to be sure about you.

I like to ask you, in course of escorting you might have seen different ethnicity men, so my question is whether black men in ?average? are better in sex, with more girth and size as compared to other ethnicity men? Yes I know black men can also be small but my question is if you think black men on ?average? are better, girthy and bigger?
And secondly, have you ever had a threesome or are you okay with a threesome?

If you are willing to go ahead then please render your answers to the above and I can tell you in detail as to what I require. I am a married woman with kids so hope you as a woman can understand my concerns. So hope you are an understanding, open minded and friendly lady.
x"





Yup , got this today too .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 19 December 2017, 01:41:14 pm
Quote from: dalish on 16 December 2017, 08:30:56 pm
"Hello
My name is [NAME]. I'm here for seeking services and I?m not an escort.

I?ve met two escorts but that was just for coffee. But now I wish to have an appointment but I require something special. I can tell you the details of what I want in my second message, if you are willing to cater my needs. But before telling you what I need, I like to see if you are an experienced lady to help me, so I have couple of questions to ask you just to see if you are experienced enough to help me with my needs. I?m a 37 yr old woman with 2 kids and a family, so if you are a woman then you will understand why I am so concerned and why I really wish to be sure about you.

I like to ask you, in course of escorting you might have seen different ethnicity men, so my question is whether black men in ?average? are better in sex, with more girth and size as compared to other ethnicity men? Yes I know black men can also be small but my question is if you think black men on ?average? are better, girthy and bigger?
And secondly, have you ever had a threesome or are you okay with a threesome?

If you are willing to go ahead then please render your answers to the above and I can tell you in detail as to what I require. I am a married woman with kids so hope you as a woman can understand my concerns. So hope you are an understanding, open minded and friendly lady.
x"


Yep I got this today. is it weird that I feel like I am part of the group getting this dodgy clearly spam email!!  :o ::) ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anais on 19 December 2017, 02:20:28 pm
'Dear Lovely (my name)
I saw your profile and am hooked by it.
As a lonely man, I ask you to give this
lonely average size man one hour of
your life to treat you with the respect
and passion you deserve. In return,
taking him between your arms will
return his sole to his body "tonight".

 ;D ;D ;D Christmas Saviour?? Or is he missing a shoe??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 19 December 2017, 04:59:28 pm
A few corkers today -

R u work outcall

Do you like really full on deep passionate wet snogging with deep tongues?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 19 December 2017, 05:03:03 pm
Quote from: Modesty Blaize on 19 December 2017, 02:20:28 pm
return his sole to his body "tonight".

I would not be able to prevent myself responding with a joke about shoes.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: loubyloo on 19 December 2017, 05:42:48 pm
Quote from: dalish on 16 December 2017, 08:30:56 pm
"Hello
My name is [NAME]. I'm here for seeking services and I?m not an escort.

I?ve met two escorts but that was just for coffee. But now I wish to have an appointment but I require something special. I can tell you the details of what I want in my second message, if you are willing to cater my needs. But before telling you what I need, I like to see if you are an experienced lady to help me, so I have couple of questions to ask you just to see if you are experienced enough to help me with my needs. I?m a 37 yr old woman with 2 kids and a family, so if you are a woman then you will understand why I am so concerned and why I really wish to be sure about you.




I had this a few days ago.
Just deleted. I wasn't even sure what I was meant to reply!!!

I like to ask you, in course of escorting you might have seen different ethnicity men, so my question is whether black men in ?average? are better in sex, with more girth and size as compared to other ethnicity men? Yes I know black men can also be small but my question is if you think black men on ?average? are better, girthy and bigger?
And secondly, have you ever had a threesome or are you okay with a threesome?

If you are willing to go ahead then please render your answers to the above and I can tell you in detail as to what I require. I am a married woman with kids so hope you as a woman can understand my concerns. So hope you are an understanding, open minded and friendly lady.
x"

Uh huh.  You're a woman who wants to know if black men have bigger dicks.  May I suggest letting go of your own first, "Madam"?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katiexxx on 19 December 2017, 06:49:54 pm
AW booking for 10 hours :FF 10 pounds :FF outcall 180 miles away from my town  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Britishblonde on 19 December 2017, 08:34:34 pm
Quote from: geordie on 24 November 2017, 03:15:38 pm
Wonder how many of you got this load of bollocks today

Good morning, Hope you are having a nice time and greetings. My name is (name), late 30s, Indian origin but educated in England and living here since last 18 years, 5'10", black hair, blue eyes, 72kg, athletic, dark skin and 8.5" when fully get on. I am looking for some to meet and have fun on regular basis (twice a month or so), with appropriate payments. Ofcourse I will book the hotel and take care of food and drinks. If you are interested, could you drop me a line, or text me on (number).

Unfortunately, im not looking for agencies.

Looking forward to hear from you,

Kind regards

(Name).

Haha! I got THIS exact message from him a few weeks back too  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 20 December 2017, 11:51:05 am
Quote from: Katiexxx on 19 December 2017, 06:49:54 pm
AW booking for 10 hours :FF 10 pounds :FF outcall 180 miles away from my town  :FF
What a tempting offer! How could you resist, ya ha ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 20 December 2017, 12:17:46 pm
Subject:   Adult modelling



Hello.

Hope this finds you well.

My name is Lee and I am contacting you to ask if you have ever considered adult modelling?

I am in the process of starting up a small adult entertainment website and I am currently looking for models. If you might be interested in some modelling if you could get back to me with answers to the below questions and we can look to working together.

1) have you ever worked in the adult industry before and if so please give examples.

2) what is the maximum amount of male talent you would be willing to work with at once?

3) Are you willing to work outdoors?

4) what is your dress size, bra size and shoe size?

Most of the work (given the theam of the website) with be solo girl shots possible outdoors. We will also be looking for models to take part in hardcore shots with one or more male talent.

As we are just starting out in the industry we are willing to provide you with copyright free copies of any images and videos we make of you in exchange for reduced rates. These can be used to enhance you adultwork profile or for anything else you wish.

Dispute being a start up we have started as we mean to go on and have invested in professional equipment in order to get the best results possible. Shoots can take place in your normal meeting place or in our studio and sometimes outdoors.

We welcome you to bring someone with you during shoots however during the shoot only talent and crew are permitted in the room.

All talent are required to show Sexual health check proof and proof or age before any contracts are signed or shoots taking place.

We intend to hold casting mid January in the Edinburgh area. If you attend all expenses will be covered but we are unable to pay a fee for castings. As an insentive we will share with you the high resolution images taken during casting for you to use as you wish. You will not be expected to work with any male talent during casting but will be expected to preform solo work.

I hope to hear back from you soon

Lee
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katiexxx on 20 December 2017, 04:23:15 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 20 December 2017, 11:51:05 am
What a tempting offer! How could you resist, ya ha ha!

Haha especially when I found out his aw nickname is his real name and it's 70 years old Indian bloke and his address was genuine. Can't wait for his feedback only saying it didn't happen
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 20 December 2017, 04:28:19 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 20 December 2017, 12:17:46 pm
Subject:   Adult modelling



Hello.

Hope this finds you well.

My name is Lee and I am contacting you to ask if you have ever considered adult modelling?

2) what is the maximum amount of male talent you would be willing to work with at once?

3) Are you willing to work outdoors?

4) what is your dress size, bra size and shoe size?

Most of the work (given the theam of the website) with be solo girl shots possible outdoors. We will also be looking for models to take part in hardcore shots with one or more male talent...

So let's see: do independent, non-recorded / non-broadcast, indoors-based prostitution (which includes having the freedom to choose who to fuck, how many individuals to fuck at any one time, what activities to offer, and to do protected services), and earn ?100+ an hour, say, or do the opposite (have your prostitution recorded and broadcast, fuck whoever you are ordered to fuck, routinely participate in orgies, be compelled to do unprotected fucking, and undertake all of the aforementioned in the open air) for presumably either the same pay or less (which includes, at the audition stage, fucking for free)? Hmm.  Tough call...
(Yes, I am aware that there are people who do porn work, but this does not alter the accuracy of my representation of such work. With his sales pitch, "Lee" himself corroborates this representation).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 20 December 2017, 10:21:19 pm
Date:   20/12/2017 20:10
From:   TheNudeMasseur (2) Profile Notes  Escort Booking View All

Subject:   Hi


Hello again gorgeous! Just wondered if you'd like to take part in a sex photoshoot for my private gallery? Will be taking place at mine tomorrow and Will be paying ?40?


Hmm, yes that'd be great, considering I don't offer photography, I don't do outcalls and my rates start from double the price! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 20 December 2017, 10:23:01 pm
Quote from: Katiexxx on 19 December 2017, 06:49:54 pm
AW booking for 10 hours :FF 10 pounds :FF outcall 180 miles away from my town  :FF

Ooooh, don't keep him all to yourself. We all need a guy like this!!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 20 December 2017, 10:25:31 pm
Quote from: SuperCheese on 20 December 2017, 10:23:01 pm
Ooooh, don't keep him all to yourself. We all need a guy like this!!  ;D
Hear hear, ha ha ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 20 December 2017, 10:27:14 pm
Quote from: SuperCheese on 20 December 2017, 10:21:19 pm
Date:   20/12/2017 20:10
From:   TheNudeMasseur (2) Profile Notes  Escort Booking View All

Subject:   Hi


Hello again gorgeous! Just wondered if you'd like to take part in a sex photoshoot for my private gallery? Will be taking place at mine tomorrow and Will be paying ?40?


Hmm, yes that'd be great, considering I don't offer photography, I don't do outcalls and my rates start from double the price! :FF
The dipstick!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GG on 21 December 2017, 06:50:55 am
Quote from: Miss harlequin on 17 December 2017, 08:27:49 am
I had the same one she has 2 feedback too however I just deleted and blocked as I have a cold and couldn?t be bothered thinking up a sarky response lol
I?ve had this one as well. They have been banned now lol I mentioned it to another girl and she had been chatting to her. Apparently she really wanted to shag a black man but really wanted to do it safely so she wanted to pay the escort to be there while she had sex with him. She was hoping the escort would find the guy and was willing to pay him as well. From the amount of spam she sent out she was really desperate for it lol and really did have feedback from 2 Escorts she had met for coffee. However nuts it may seem I actually think there was a real woman behind this one. Whether she was willing to part with the cash is a different story  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 21 December 2017, 09:01:52 am
AW message just before 1am today.

Subject: Hello

Message:  Hi, fancy a short walk?x

How about a long walk along a short cliff?  Alone?   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 21 December 2017, 10:05:06 am
Quote from: Braziliana on 20 December 2017, 04:28:19 pm
So let's see: do independent, non-recorded / non-broadcast, indoors-based prostitution (which includes having the freedom to choose who to fuck, how many individuals to fuck at any one time, what activities to offer, and to do protected services), and earn ?100+ an hour, say, or do the opposite (have your prostitution recorded and broadcast, fuck whoever you are ordered to fuck, routinely participate in orgies, be compelled to do unprotected fucking, and undertake all of the aforementioned in the open air) for presumably either the same pay or less (which includes, at the audition stage, fucking for free)? Hmm.  Tough call...
(Yes, I am aware that there are people who do porn work, but this does not alter the accuracy of my representation of such work. With his sales pitch, "Lee" himself corroborates this representation).

hahaha exactly! and all those spelling errors too
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 21 December 2017, 02:50:59 pm
?Fancy an arm wrestle?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 21 December 2017, 11:00:07 pm
Subject:    Wow you?re sexy x

Omg you would be my prefect first meet normal easy going chilled I would love us to fuck xxxx u wear whatever makes you sexy and I would make you feel incredible all my time would be spend seducing you xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 22 December 2017, 02:27:02 pm
Email on AW:

Hi Lisa,

I hope you are well and looking forward to Xmas?

I am looking to set up a regular meet with a lady in the new year and wondered if you would be interested?

I have met a couple of ladies on here and a couple have not shown but I have not found the right one yet. Personality is as important as looks, although both would be perfect! Someone who I can chat to and have the full GFE would be great.

If you would like to meet please let me know and I will put a booking in. It will likely be either 26th or 27th January in Nantwich, or the 31st closer to you. Not sure if you would travel for an outcall?

A***

My response: 

Hi A***,

Thanks for your message but part of the reason you haven't met the right lady might be not reading their profile first...I don't do outcalls and I retire on 26 January.

Thanks,
Lisa


I'd be interested to see how many of you got this same message seeing as he's sent over 970 emails but only has two feedbacks from the same WG and a negative saying he didn't read her profile.   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 22 December 2017, 02:40:48 pm
Re the above email he's only been a member since October this year as well.  Bloody hell that is a lot of time wasting how does he have time to copy and paste 973 emails in less than two months?   ::) ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 22 December 2017, 03:11:12 pm
hey imer clean educated asian male i need a good  seeing to and start my holiday with a bang u up 4 it xxx im on a party vibe but need sex and company xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LD on 22 December 2017, 03:37:41 pm
??AW Name? outcall please?

Sent by text - I suppose at least he said ?please?...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lillys0 on 22 December 2017, 04:58:51 pm
When i see you later i want 1hour incall but can you pick me up to go yours i will give u extra 
How about no I'm not a fucking taxi service book a taxi yourself

Hi, bit of a strange ask but would you be happy to get naked with me at your front door (closed) walk around your place naked having a kiss and fondle then I rim your bum you then pee over my face then you wank me so I cum over my own face? x

Noooooo  :-X :-X :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lillys0 on 22 December 2017, 05:00:47 pm
Quote from: LisaLisa on 22 December 2017, 02:27:02 pm
Email on AW:

Hi Lisa,

I hope you are well and looking forward to Xmas?

I am looking to set up a regular meet with a lady in the new year and wondered if you would be interested?

I have met a couple of ladies on here and a couple have not shown but I have not found the right one yet. Personality is as important as looks, although both would be perfect! Someone who I can chat to and have the full GFE would be great.

If you would like to meet please let me know and I will put a booking in. It will likely be either 26th or 27th January in Nantwich, or the 31st closer to you. Not sure if you would travel for an outcall?

A***

My response: 

Hi A***,

Thanks for your message but part of the reason you haven't met the right lady might be not reading their profile first...I don't do outcalls and I retire on 26 January.

Thanks,
Lisa


I'd be interested to see how many of you got this same message seeing as he's sent over 970 emails but only has two feedbacks from the same WG and a negative saying he didn't read her profile.   :FF

He's doing the rounds same guy begging for outcall to nantwich I hate driving round there
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 22 December 2017, 05:17:48 pm
A text saying

on rugby

Eh you what?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 22 December 2017, 05:54:23 pm
Text - Hello, I understand you dont advertise 30min appointments but ive had the worse day ever and need a really  seductive blowjob, one time price maybe??

Funny, I actually had a really bad day too. Should of replied back 'hey, ive had a bad day too, can you give me double my fee for '30mins' well after all its christmas!!!  ::)  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 22 December 2017, 07:05:16 pm
Him - Hello?
Me - Hello
Him - Hello
Me - Hello, can I help you?
Him- Yes, I want to make a booking - said in a really strange voice
Me - I'm sorry but I'm already booked up today - wasn't at all, but there was no way I was seeing this weirdo!
Him - I have a lot of money.
Me - Well, I'm still fully booked.
Him - 500 for the hour.
Me - No, thank you.

I have a lot of money as well!  ;D ;) ;D And even more sense!

Idiot  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Redhead on 23 December 2017, 07:35:13 am
Quote from: LisaLisa on 22 December 2017, 02:40:48 pm
Re the above email he's only been a member since October this year as well.  Bloody hell that is a lot of time wasting how does he have time to copy and paste 973 emails in less than two months?   ::) ;D

Sorry to sidetrack but how do you find out how many emails they sent please? I?ve only ever seen this info if they have alises, would be handy to know this info. Thank you
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katiexxx on 23 December 2017, 11:42:25 am
Hello there!

Hope you're well - I had a previous account with ratings but unfortunately it was as hacked into and I've had to open a new account.

Having been in Australia for 2yrs playing professional sport, I discovered reflexology when I had it done to help diagnose a lower back spasm. Since coming back to London I've tried practising whenever possible.

You're probably wondering why AW? Well firstly it's simple to find people by doing a postcode search, secondly hopefully by me offering you a genuine reflexology session it'll make a nice change from always 'giving' services to others but this way you get some tlc and thirdly, from those women who I have met off AW, many were insecure and lacked confidence in their feet. Hopefully I can help with that!

Finally, I'm not a timewaster and genuinely can't stand them - I have encountered plenty and it's not right. Nor is it my intention to offend anyone with this message.

Please let me know what you think of the above? I'm an open book so please ask me anything and I'll answer as openly and honestly as possible.

I look forward to hearing from you :) x

Ps I?m near ringwood until 28th December

CREEP
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 23 December 2017, 12:53:50 pm
text message at 2am-

How long for ?20.00

Asleep but if I could of repiled in my sleep, maybe 'a look and go'?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 23 December 2017, 04:36:19 pm
Quote from: Katiexxx on 23 December 2017, 11:42:25 am
Hello there!

Hope you're well - I had a previous account with ratings but unfortunately it was as hacked into and I've had to open a new account.

Having been in Australia for 2yrs playing professional sport, I discovered reflexology when I had it done to help diagnose a lower back spasm. Since coming back to London I've tried practising whenever possible.

You're probably wondering why AW? Well firstly it's simple to find people by doing a postcode search, secondly hopefully by me offering you a genuine reflexology session it'll make a nice change from always 'giving' services to others but this way you get some tlc and thirdly, from those women who I have met off AW, many were insecure and lacked confidence in their feet. Hopefully I can help with that!

Finally, I'm not a timewaster and genuinely can't stand them - I have encountered plenty and it's not right. Nor is it my intention to offend anyone with this message.

Please let me know what you think of the above? I'm an open book so please ask me anything and I'll answer as openly and honestly as possible.

I look forward to hearing from you :) x

Ps I?m near ringwood until 28th December

CREEP

I just got this!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 23 December 2017, 05:20:04 pm
bareback sex and party;)? Amir x 2 hour make love and come in all ur holes or try too ;)?
 

Well I don't offer bb or anal or take anything or 'make love' or see under 30's. Think I'll pass, such a hard decision.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 23 December 2017, 05:38:02 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 23 December 2017, 05:20:04 pm
bareback sex and party;)? Amir x 2 hour make love and come in all ur holes or try too ;)?
 

Well I don't offer bb or anal or take anything or 'make love' or see under 30's. Think I'll pass, such a hard decision.  ::)

It's the 'make love' and then 'come in all your holes' that seem to be at odds with each other? Tempting offer though you lucky thing!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 24 December 2017, 02:30:18 pm
Just had this corker

Subject: hello baby girl
-----------------------------------------------------------------
hello baby

how are u?????

my feedback is getting better i have toke few ladies out now from adultwork i have spended 9000 pound. its your chance to go shopping with me

let me take u out shopping this week in streatham i will pick u up from streatham hill train station

u can get a train to streatham hill station from london bridge or victoria or clapham junction station

call me - jackson


It's like a bad Nigerian Prince phishing scam...there was a phone number if any ladies want to meet him... ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lalalondon on 24 December 2017, 04:17:13 pm
Hi there, you look sexy, fancy some bareback fun in all your holes?

Soooo tempting, but I?ll pass thanks...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 24 December 2017, 04:22:13 pm
Quote from: Lalalondon on 24 December 2017, 04:17:13 pm
Hi there, you look sexy, fancy some bareback fun in all your holes?

*swoons* :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 24 December 2017, 07:46:32 pm
text message:

great boobs..outcall?

now, how can a wg refuse an offer like that on christmas eve?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 24 December 2017, 09:08:30 pm
Was going to work tomorrow as I don't have my little'un until evening but after the oddballs today I'm glad of a week long break!

Several requests for bareback, a guy who I answered even though I would usually ignore someone who doesn't even say hello but as it was so quiet answered anyway. He followed up with text me your address and how much for overnight (Which I don't do, nor do I give the address until a booking is made and confirmed.) I didn't hear back after pointing this out rather abruptly.

The usual "u free" "available" and then the oddball who every so often texts asking me to "sit on my throne and do some throne testing."

Phone off, pjs on and not engaging until Jan!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 25 December 2017, 06:34:25 am
ok from the space of 12am-5am did potential clients take a bunch of 'stupid pills'? Got a xmas selection of good ones:

Hi

Hello

you free

Call outs?

Hi u working?

Hi (name) can i take you tooday

Hi

Merry christmas!!!! :) xxxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mature helen on 25 December 2017, 10:06:41 am
Hello I'm wondering if your available for a quickie tonight around 2am, hope to hear off you
 


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bobbisux on 26 December 2017, 04:21:30 pm
Quote from: Lalalondon on 24 December 2017, 04:17:13 pm
Hi there, you look sexy, fancy some bareback fun in all your holes?

Soooo tempting, but I?ll pass thanks...

Lala, how do you deal with these smooth talkers?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 26 December 2017, 06:56:23 pm
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 24 December 2017, 02:30:18 pm
Just had this corker

Subject: hello baby girl
-----------------------------------------------------------------
hello baby

how are u?????

my feedback is getting better i have toke few ladies out now from adultwork i have spended 9000 pound. its your chance to go shopping with me

let me take u out shopping this week in streatham i will pick u up from streatham hill train station

u can get a train to streatham hill station from london bridge or victoria or clapham junction station

call me - jackson


It's like a bad Nigerian Prince phishing scam...there was a phone number if any ladies want to meet him... ;D ;D ;D

hahahah I come from that part of town - one is limited to shopping idiot lool
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarastar1 on 26 December 2017, 08:16:59 pm
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 24 December 2017, 02:30:18 pm
Just had this corker

Subject: hello baby girl
-----------------------------------------------------------------
hello baby

how are u?????

my feedback is getting better i have toke few ladies out now from adultwork i have spended 9000 pound. its your chance to go shopping with me

let me take u out shopping this week in streatham i will pick u up from streatham hill train station

u can get a train to streatham hill station from london bridge or victoria or clapham junction station

call me - jackson


It's like a bad Nigerian Prince phishing scam...there was a phone number if any ladies want to meet him... ;D ;D ;D


I had this message from this 'Jackson' a couple of weeks ago. I was bored so I replied back politely I wasn't interested and if he wanted a booking he should call me.

He then started going on about us working together and we could make lots of money together lol
I blocked him....he is clearly messaging everyone lol.
Sadly there might be some ladies that would fall for it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: honeymoonbarbie on 27 December 2017, 06:55:30 pm
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 24 December 2017, 02:30:18 pm
Just had this corker

Subject: hello baby girl
-----------------------------------------------------------------
hello baby

how are u?????

my feedback is getting better i have toke few ladies out now from adultwork i have spended 9000 pound. its your chance to go shopping with me

let me take u out shopping this week in streatham i will pick u up from streatham hill train station

u can get a train to streatham hill station from london bridge or victoria or clapham junction station

call me - jackson


It's like a bad Nigerian Prince phishing scam...there was a phone number if any ladies want to meet him... ;D ;D ;D

He's learnt some manners then.

From the same idiot sent just over a week ago:


hello baby girl

how are u ???

lets do a porn together it will be fun, people will be watching both of us in webcam

i will lick ya pussy so good i will be ya bitch

i want to spend some money on u today sexy.. lets go shopping today in streatham hill i will pick u up in streatham hill station

lets have fun together

give me a call on x jackson

dont wast my time
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 27 December 2017, 10:02:49 pm
Sure im not the only one to get this post christmas cracker of an email  ::)

"Random clean guys putting their hard bare cock inside you and fucking your wet pussy skin on skin then shooting a warm creamy load deep inside your arse x I'm your man :) Let's set something up x"


So many replies, so little time!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 27 December 2017, 10:49:39 pm
Quote from: MsLadyV87 on 27 December 2017, 10:02:49 pm
Sure im not the only one to get this post christmas cracker of an email  ::)

"Random clean guys putting their hard bare cock inside you and fucking your wet pussy skin on skin then shooting a warm creamy load deep inside your arse x I'm your man :) Let's set something up x"


So many replies, so little time!  ;D

Sweet Jesus  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 27 December 2017, 10:58:30 pm
Quote from: Lolapops on 27 December 2017, 10:49:39 pm
Sweet Jesus  :FF

I know right?? I choose to laugh though, better than crying! lol xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 27 December 2017, 11:02:18 pm
Quote from: MsLadyV87 on 27 December 2017, 10:58:30 pm
I know right?? I choose to laugh though, better than crying! lol xx

I?m always staggered when I get messages like this, I never know if they?re serious or joking  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 28 December 2017, 10:14:45 am
Text
Your address you working yes ?
I'm on holiday so just switched my work phone on  shall keep it off !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 28 December 2017, 10:20:00 am
After saying no to a man on the phone yesterday for reasons irrelevant here, he texted to offer me twice my fee.

Me tempted? What do you think?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 28 December 2017, 01:54:34 pm
"I don't usually pick girls like you. Not sure why I viewed your profile. I usually go for white slim blondes in their early twenties but something about your profile. I want to book you."

Aaaaaaand Blocked. The only way I see this playing out is me getting there or him turning up and then saying he can't go through with it. I don't get it. Are they so fucking stupid? Why would you want to book someone who isn't even your type?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 28 December 2017, 05:42:42 pm
Cross dresser via email,telling me he is off to photoshoot where he will be dressed as a bride.He wanted to know if it would be ok to come for an incall still dressed in his bridal gear..and yes I did have to explain why that would not be happening!
Apparently he didn't think about the fact I have neighbours or that this means he would be mincing over from the car park in full regalia! ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 29 December 2017, 11:16:43 am
Hi there,

Might be a strange message to receive, but where I work I am able to get my hands on limitless amounts of condoms, lubricants etc....

As a way of earning a couple of extra ?'s I am offering them to the females on here at a price which will be lower than you would pay in and chemists.

If you are interested in discussing what you might need, then please get in touch anytime.

Thanks for reading. X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 29 December 2017, 12:43:59 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 28 December 2017, 05:42:42 pm
Cross dresser via email,telling me he is off to photoshoot where he will be dressed as a bride.He wanted to know if it would be ok to come for an incall still dressed in his bridal gear..and yes I did have to explain why that would not be happening!
Apparently he didn't think about the fact I have neighbours or that this means he would be mincing over from the car park in full regalia! ::)

The temptation to say yes and watch him get out of the car and walk a few yards just to take a look at that sight, would have been hard to resist.  Never had a Xdresser turn up at mine wearing his female stuff but one man did arrive wearing pink nail varnish.  He brought matching lipstick for me to put on him too.   :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kitty_69 on 29 December 2017, 05:05:36 pm
just got this on AW

Hi im on way Lincoln to boston, can only sprnd 40? tonight on escort but can share some good coke, so be happy with just kissing, I live home alone in Lincoln so room to rent could be discuss I?m also polish bloke

I don't do drugs and i cost more than ?40 for 15 mins
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Britishblonde on 29 December 2017, 05:53:38 pm
"Hi can I cum c u for 30 mins 2nite at 7 babe?"

Considering I'm clearly listed as not working this week AND I don't do 30 min bookings, I think not  ::)

And when they say cum instead of come... :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Britishblonde on 29 December 2017, 05:55:07 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 29 December 2017, 11:16:43 am
Hi there,

Might be a strange message to receive, but where I work I am able to get my hands on limitless amounts of condoms, lubricants etc....

As a way of earning a couple of extra ?'s I am offering them to the females on here at a price which will be lower than you would pay in and chemists.

If you are interested in discussing what you might need, then please get in touch anytime.

Thanks for reading. X


Hahaha well that's a first!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dolita on 29 December 2017, 06:26:13 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 29 December 2017, 11:16:43 am
Hi there,

Might be a strange message to receive, but where I work I am able to get my hands on limitless amounts of condoms, lubricants etc....

As a way of earning a couple of extra ?'s I am offering them to the females on here at a price which will be lower than you would pay in and chemists.

If you are interested in discussing what you might need, then please get in touch anytime.

Thanks for reading. X

I got that one today too!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 29 December 2017, 06:28:55 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 29 December 2017, 11:16:43 am
Hi there,

Might be a strange message to receive, but where I work I am able to get my hands on limitless amounts of condoms, lubricants etc....

As a way of earning a couple of extra ?'s I am offering them to the females on here at a price which will be lower than you would pay in and chemists.

If you are interested in discussing what you might need, then please get in touch anytime.

Thanks for reading. X

Had this today too. Now in a folder with the other wasters.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dolita on 29 December 2017, 07:57:15 pm
Quote from: Lolapops on 29 December 2017, 06:28:55 pm
Had this today too. Now in a folder with the other wasters.

Clearly spamming the entire Scottish section. :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 29 December 2017, 09:30:19 pm
text message:

Can i lick ur pussy

mmmm such a sexy offer! meow!!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 30 December 2017, 11:37:44 pm
Hi is it possible to book for a submissive session with heavy choking involved and maybe make you pass out? X

I don't even have words.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bobbisux on 31 December 2017, 02:51:06 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 30 December 2017, 11:37:44 pm
Hi is it possible to book for a submissive session with heavy choking involved and maybe make you pass out? X

I don't even have words.

Hannaah

Just enough words required to ring the local cop shop, I reckon.

It really is disturbing the thoughts that goes through some people's heads.

Bob
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dolita on 31 December 2017, 04:53:10 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 30 December 2017, 11:37:44 pm
Hi is it possible to book for a submissive session with heavy choking involved and maybe make you pass out? X

I don't even have words.

That's disturbing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 31 December 2017, 11:00:25 pm
Phone call today...

"You outcall?"
"Um, yes, where did you get my number?" As not on AW today, quotes random site that I asked to remove it before but hey ho  :FF
After a bit of waffle,

"You wear jewellery?
"What type?" Getting bored of twat now...
"Um, rings, necklaces, earrings"
"You mean expensive or cheap stuff?"
"Expensive"

I briefly explained his stupendous error although he sounded too stupid to actually understand why this might raise alarm bells to a single woman meeting a stranger for sex. This was Newport South Wales and I have the idiot's number if anyone wants it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 01 January 2018, 05:33:20 pm
Today phone call

Idiot: Are you available today
me: Yes I am I will require minimum 2 hours notice
idiot :Do you provide outcalls
me: Do go back and read my profile (click i hang up phone saved as timewaster) Anyone who ask me stupid questions which is clear on my add I am outcall only escort is to lazy to read and just dial number is not worth continuing on convo. Been doing that all day it feels good but weasels out the non legit clients.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 04 January 2018, 09:50:28 am
Got a text this morning (from a 20 year old) offering me sex! First 30 minutes free then ?30 an hour.

He says he loves to meet ladies and satisfy them after a long day!


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 04 January 2018, 12:54:43 pm
Wonder if anyone has had this 'Gem' of a text message....

Hi my names (Name) im a professional sports massage therapist/reflexologist and I wonder if I could (pay) to give you an hours massage , of your choice? probably sounds daft but you look incredible! Anyway happy new year and have a lovely evening (name) :)'

haha ok is it wrong I was a little tempted?? mainly because I struggle with back pain and I ache so much. I do go to a proper place for a massage so could of got a 'freebie'  ;D

But of course I simply ignored!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 04 January 2018, 01:58:05 pm
E-mail
In block capitals
I have a crying fetish  i  like seeing and making women cry seeing them in tears
Love to lick your tears what will make you cry .
Can you please reply .
No I don't fancy this fetish  lol ...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: honeymoonbarbie on 04 January 2018, 02:53:35 pm
My rates may not be in line with the 'standard' rates where I'm currently touring but I'm getting a lot of interest and along with the genuine enquiries I'm getting a fair amount of chancers; this is my favourite one so far:

Him: Hi, how are you? I'm passing through the area and am looking for a booking around X time, could you send over your postcode?
Me: Sure
Him: Thanks for that. Have made a bit of a balls up to be honest. I?ve left my wallet in the hotel I was stayin in last night and that?s all the way up in somewhere else, Is there anyway you would see me for ?30. That?s all I?ve got on me. Literally just a handjob or something. Don?t even have to get undressed babe. Please?
Me: Don't worry if you don't have cash, you can make a transfer directly to my business account   ;D
Him:...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 05 January 2018, 01:10:50 pm
Quote from: honeymoonbarbie on 04 January 2018, 02:53:35 pm
My rates may not be in line with the 'standard' rates where I'm currently touring but I'm getting a lot of interest and along with the genuine enquiries I'm getting a fair amount of chancers; this is my favourite one so far:

Him: Hi, how are you? I'm passing through the area and am looking for a booking around X time, could you send over your postcode?
Me: Sure
Him: Thanks for that. Have made a bit of a balls up to be honest. I?ve left my wallet in the hotel I was stayin in last night and that?s all the way up in somewhere else, Is there anyway you would see me for ?30. That?s all I?ve got on me. Literally just a handjob or something. Don?t even have to get undressed babe. Please?
Me: Don't worry if you don't have cash, you can make a transfer directly to my business account   ;D
Him:...


I had one who booked for an hour but ended up finishing and leaving after 20 minutes I think. Got a text next day asking if he could come back and use the time he didn't get to use last time. He got no response from me.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Meetingdiversity on 05 January 2018, 03:38:17 pm
Yesterday when a client contacted me about a booking, I was excited not long from a weigh in. I told him positively that I have lost 16lbs so far. He texted back saying he likes his woman big.

Oh my.... If he wants to believe escorts are his woman. I just ignored him after that.

I find most clients are in need of a hug. :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 06 January 2018, 04:56:17 am
Subject:
Question


Imagine you hear all kinds of wierd shit on this and must get pestered a lot. It is 4:30 in the morning and I am very drunk so I will ask you this one simple question ........

Baguettes for arms or croissants for hands ?

 ??? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 06 January 2018, 07:31:24 am
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Xx
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I want you babe xx
---------------------------------

Seems to be an increase in these types of messages recently.

Or maybe it's because I've been to a few totally new areas recently and haven't weeded these wasters out?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 06 January 2018, 01:29:09 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 06 January 2018, 04:56:17 am
Subject:
Question


Imagine you hear all kinds of wierd shit on this and must get pestered a lot. It is 4:30 in the morning and I am very drunk so I will ask you this one simple question ........

Baguettes for arms or croissants for hands ?

 ??? ::)

I am SURE he's been doing the rounds for many years - I got something similar when I first started!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 06 January 2018, 03:17:11 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 06 January 2018, 01:29:09 pm
I am SURE he's been doing the rounds for many years - I got something similar when I first started!

1st time iv encountered the idiot in the 8 years iv been on AW, some people are beyond strange
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Redhead on 07 January 2018, 01:51:53 pm
Quote from: KittenCandy on 05 January 2018, 01:10:50 pm


I had one who booked for an hour but ended up finishing and leaving after 20 minutes I think. Got a text next day asking if he could come back and use the time he didn't get to use last time. He got no response from me.  ;D

I had someone do that! Cheek of it!
That?s like eating in a restaurant, only managing to eat half and going back the next day to ask for the other half portion
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 10 January 2018, 11:26:06 pm
Text off an idiot today:

Idiot: Hi are you available today
Idiot: Are you available today?
Idiot: Are you available please
Me: Please call
Idiot: Do you do 15 mins
Me: Yes but its same price as half hour @ ?70
Idiot: Hi sorry to bother you again is that price just for a hand job
Me:No its full service
Idiot: What
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DDD on 11 January 2018, 02:55:50 am
I got an email mail a couple of days ago asking if I were willing to eat live bugs, like they do on I am a celebraty get me out of here (never watch it)  or Bear Grills (sorry if the spelling is wrong).

Anyone would do it? Not sure where he would get any this time of year!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 11 January 2018, 08:20:55 am
Would not even entertain that guy ..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katiexxx on 11 January 2018, 03:07:41 pm
Message:
Hi, not sure if in town later or tomorrow Will txt u to confirm What street r u on? John xxx

Wanted to answer who the hell are you but left it and saved him as a street collector.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 12 January 2018, 10:01:41 pm
Email from AW.....

Hi
I am planning to visit Plymouth from 25th jan till 28 th jan.

24 th jan will be in London and next day to p,ymouth .

I am prepared to pay for a 90hrs booking ?800.

I will be basically visiting to explore and relax at the same time


I thought to contact you direct if you are Intersted in relaxation and having mutual fun together.

Let me know if interested

Regards

Had to reply to this one!!  ::) clearly couldnt be bothered to read profile (probably a mass email) which says I am off from 23rd till 20th Feb and also...err ?800 for basically 4 days work???? most escorts charge that for one overnight!!!  ;D




Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: themoneyhoneyy on 13 January 2018, 12:59:59 am
Text at 00:54h :" Hello Hun, up for a quick anal shag?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 13 January 2018, 03:41:19 pm
Is it wrong that i can?t help thinking about how much i want to throw your legs over my shoulders and kiss my way up the backs of those thighs?! lingering?confidently but gently letting my warm mouth move over your soft skin?.until i press my lips to your tempting labia?.parting my lips, and yours, with my tongue i run it the full length under you from front to back?before moving forward once again? watching?listening.. feeling? your body flinches and i know I?ve reached your most sensitive spot?.i move out?.so that slowly i can begin to spiral my way in?. i bring my hands up and hold your waist. pulling your hips up towards me?.well that and my desire to tear off your knickers, gag you with them? bend you over my desk and kick your ankles apart as i bind your hands behind you with my tie and roll up my sleeves,,, pushing my thumb into your ass and sliding my fingers into your pussy?.gripping your pelvic floor deep?while i spank your ripe ass with my other hand...
....and yes i do have Skype (***********@outlook.com) if you want to discuss regular C2C deal...but don't worry i don't think this is a charity for lonely wankers!

 ::) ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 13 January 2018, 04:14:06 pm
Wishlist did he copy and paste some of an erotic novel there for you ?!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 13 January 2018, 04:19:22 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 13 January 2018, 04:14:06 pm
Wishlist did he copy and paste some of an erotic novel there for you ?!!

The mind boggles  ;D I'm sure I wont have been the only 1 receiving that drivel  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katiexxx on 13 January 2018, 07:10:42 pm
Freak:
Hi mistress. Please will you beat me up and strangle me with your legs and arms so I can't breath, rape me and cut my toe please. I am very skinny and weak x



 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: loubyloo on 13 January 2018, 10:02:28 pm
Sounds like a normal sat night for me!!!!

Cut my toe? Just the one?

Wtf are we meant to think about these tossers hahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 14 January 2018, 01:50:39 am
Quote from: wishlist on 13 January 2018, 03:41:19 pm
Is it wrong that i can?t help thinking about how much i want to throw your legs over my shoulders and kiss my way up the backs of those thighs?! lingering?confidently but gently letting my warm mouth move over your soft skin?.until i press my lips to your tempting labia?.parting my lips, and yours, with my tongue i run it the full length under you from front to back?before moving forward once again? watching?listening.. feeling? your body flinches and i know I?ve reached your most sensitive spot?.i move out?.so that slowly i can begin to spiral my way in?. i bring my hands up and hold your waist. pulling your hips up towards me?.well that and my desire to tear off your knickers, gag you with them? bend you over my desk and kick your ankles apart as i bind your hands behind you with my tie and roll up my sleeves,,, pushing my thumb into your ass and sliding my fingers into your pussy?.gripping your pelvic floor deep?while i spank your ripe ass with my other hand...
....and yes i do have Skype (***********@outlook.com) if you want to discuss regular C2C deal...but don't worry i don't think this is a charity for lonely wankers!

 ::) ???

I've had this one several times from several deffiremt profiles to several different new profiles I have made. Bloody weirdo
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 14 January 2018, 04:27:09 pm
The drivel received by wishlist is typical of those men who think erotic fiction (or a quick read of the wife's racy novel when she is at Tesco), will have us begging to book them in. These men will without doubt be sending off this tripe to as many women as they can in the hope one may fall for it.  I doubt they have ever or will ever pay for sex.

My latest one which I just ignored was "heyyyy babeeee phone me back and we can swop cash for gash, my cash your gash"

For heaven's sake  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 14 January 2018, 05:16:20 pm
i Like
these 2 hrs please no no no sex only thease



BDSM (giving)

BDSM (receiving)

Deep Throat

Dogging

Domination (giving)


FFM 3Somes

Fisting (receiving)

Foot Worship

French Kissing

Hand Relief

Hardsports (giving)

Humiliation (giving)


Naturism/Nudism

Oral without Protection


Prostate Massage

Pussy Pumping

Receiving Oral

Rimming (receiving)

Role Play & Fantasy

Sauna / Bath Houses

Spanking (giving

Tantric

Toys

Voyeurism

Watersports (Giving)

Watersports (Receiving

The above list of likes commitment to offer any specific service.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 14 January 2018, 06:50:53 pm
I knew the idiot fool will be a cock head.

Idiot: do you provide overnights ( did not read my add)

Me: Yes I do

Idiot: How much is it

Me: The price is there where you go my number from

Idiot : Do you have whatsapp I want to see what I am getting what you look like

Me: Where you got my number from there is enough pictures and video to authenticate I am real

Idiot: I want to do video call

Me: That won't be happening.

Idiot: Thanks for time black - whore

WHAT A cock head he is
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: martine21 on 14 January 2018, 11:52:39 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 14 January 2018, 05:16:20 pm
i Like
these 2 hrs please no no no sex only thease



BDSM (giving)

BDSM (receiving)

Deep Throat

Dogging

Domination (giving)


FFM 3Somes

Fisting (receiving)

Foot Worship

French Kissing

Hand Relief

Hardsports (giving)

Humiliation (giving)


Naturism/Nudism

Oral without Protection


Prostate Massage

Pussy Pumping

Receiving Oral

Rimming (receiving)

Role Play & Fantasy

Sauna / Bath Houses

Spanking (giving

Tantric

Toys

Voyeurism

Watersports (Giving)

Watersports (Receiving

The above list of likes commitment to offer any specific service.

He doesn't want much then..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 15 January 2018, 07:49:00 am
Quote from: MrsTomHardy on 14 January 2018, 11:52:39 pm
He doesn't want much then..

 Isn't that the AW services list lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 15 January 2018, 08:19:02 am
I had a very silly e-mail from a stranger on aw  wanted to buy me gifts yet never met me .
I'm certainly not wanting to encourage so didn't reply  ,he thinks it's ok to just offer random women gifts
Personally I don't trust .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 15 January 2018, 12:01:02 pm
Quote from: ParisB on 15 January 2018, 07:49:00 am
Isn't that the AW services list lol

Lol yes he just copy pasted from the 'enjoys' part.

Another cracker: 'I hope you are ok.

I will be honest...i dont have alot of money but i would like to treat you for a dinner and to have a chat if possible. Dinner would be paid for, you may be busy with clients, why dont you take a break and let me treat you if possible? I know its alot to ask of ur free time. No sex involved that is, i can slight additional money on top of the dinner etc being paid for. I like how you also speak spanish

I hope i hear back from you.

Take care'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 15 January 2018, 12:57:30 pm
I have never liked "take care" as it is a meaningless throwaway phrase which is used by too many people. If I get a booking request and for whatever reason I say no sorry, then I get a "take care" I know I don't want to meet him ever.  Can't help myself on that one.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: honeymoonbarbie on 15 January 2018, 05:18:03 pm
VIA AW email:

Him: Any chance of a cheaper deal on your 30 minute rate?
Me: Since you asked so nicely, I'll only charge you ?110.00, an additional ?20.00 for OWO, ?50.00 for penetration and ?15.00 for use of resources if you don't bring your own condoms.
Him: But that works out more expensive?..
Me: Indeed it does.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jasmine89 on 15 January 2018, 05:47:28 pm
Hello ladies

I am an average built British (Indian orgined naturalised) aged 37 years and 175cm in height. Currently working as a Vice President for a US bank in docklands. I am interested in an adventurous full intimate GFE without any inhibition from a beautiful gorgeous lady following requirements of mine:

Age: 18 to 40

Nationality/Origin: English, Indian, Japanese, Arabic or West European

Dress size: Up to size 14

Bust - Cup size C and above

Smoking - Non smoker preferrable 

GFE Preferrences - FK OWO (preferrable) massage and different position love making. Other important preferrences will be discussed on enquiry from you

Location - Open to both incalls and outcalls

Duration - 8-12 hours overnight

Date - 1st Friday in Feb 2018 (preferrable)

Fees - Negotioable and subject to agreed preferences

Thank You.

^^^^
Yes because I am an escort agency  :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jasmine89 on 15 January 2018, 05:50:21 pm
Client: Do you see Asian men?

Me: Yes I do

Client: Great! How long will it take you to get to Sheffield?

Me: Sorry? Do you mean Sheffield street? Where is that?

Client: No I mean Sheffield the city

Me: I?m in London!

Client: Yeah so how long?

I hung up!!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 15 January 2018, 08:04:20 pm
Quote from: MrsTomHardy on 14 January 2018, 11:52:39 pm
He doesn't want much then..
Oh bloody excellent !
I had a just "details" text at 7.30 am I was a bit pissed off so just sent , what kind of text is that FFS , got back a "details please " text
Seriously fuck off !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 15 January 2018, 09:23:24 pm
Hi, 

A bit about me 
Name:   
Race: White, British 
Age: 47 
Build: Big belly. 
Cock: 5.5 - 6" 
From: Crawley 

Meeting: Incall 

Date: Saturday 27th Jan 18
Time: Between 11an - 3pm
Duration: 30 minutes. 
Were: Gatwick 
Rate: ?100 
Uniform: Nylon tights only, No bra or panties 

Requests: 

Shower Together: Get all slippery and soapy together all over. Ok for a soapy back massage with a slow wet soapy HJ. Clean our bums for rimming aswell.

To the bedroom:

DFK with tongues. 
Sloppy OWO with DeepThroat on knees 
Licking your clit / pussy and Ass. 
Rim me doggy style and milk my cock. 
Cowgirl 
Doggy style 
Mish. 

Back on your knees for more OWO/DT. Prostrate massage. Do you do this with your finger. If so can you do this for me with OWO / DT till i give you a Facial with your tongue out. 

If time another shower with you. 

If we can meet up let me know. 


I replied:
You've sent me this exact same email every time I've toured Gatwick, but you've never actually shown up.

In future could you just have a wank without disturbing my inbox?

Thanks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 15 January 2018, 09:25:57 pm
Great ! I'm local at mo , but I'll be getting them coming in soon ! Ha  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jasmine89 on 15 January 2018, 09:47:11 pm
Getting all the idiots today

Hi. Would you see me and mate together? We want to book for an hour and split the cost because we don?t have enough money to book separately. . I?ll go first then my mate after.

Sure why don?t you just bring all your friends  ::) :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 15 January 2018, 09:53:29 pm
I hAd a freebie hunter today on aw so reported them , who knows if it will help !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MelissaS on 15 January 2018, 10:16:44 pm
A couple of morons from last week!

First one: I miss his first call and ask him to call straight back. 2 hours later he tries and I can't talk as I'm sat in a busy waiting room. I text him telling him this and said will text when I can answer.

So he calls twice more and I respond saying I've just told you I can't talk now and I will text when I'm available to speak. Cue another 5 calls from him in the next hour.   ??? Is he thick?

Second idiot: Sends a message on Whatsapp, "I know you said new clients not to contact you through this but this is the safest way for me. So just a quick message do you do half hour outcalls and if so whats your rates. Please answer me."

So he's totally disregarded what my whatsapp status and gone ahead and messaged me anyway, he can't even say say hello and he's demanding that I respond, meanwhile seeming to think that he's about to be some sort of exception to the rule and I'll even want to see him?!  :FF Funnily enough, no I bloody well don't want to see him  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 15 January 2018, 11:44:23 pm
Quote from: MsLadyV87 on 12 January 2018, 10:01:41 pm
Email from AW.....

Hi
I am planning to visit Plymouth from 25th jan till 28 th jan.

24 th jan will be in London and next day to p,ymouth .

I am prepared to pay for a 90hrs booking ?800.

I will be basically visiting to explore and relax at the same time


I thought to contact you direct if you are Intersted in relaxation and having mutual fun together.

Let me know if interested

Regards

Had to reply to this one!!  ::) clearly couldnt be bothered to read profile (probably a mass email) which says I am off from 23rd till 20th Feb and also...err ?800 for basically 4 days work???? most escorts charge that for one overnight!!!  ;D

let me guess aw name moon machine lol i get these from him all the time!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 15 January 2018, 11:45:46 pm
txt recieved

"how much for 30 mints"

told him to go to tesco and check out the pix a mix section

my humuor was wasted as he just kept sending the same txt :'(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 16 January 2018, 08:51:16 am
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 15 January 2018, 11:45:46 pm
txt recieved

"how much for 30 mints"

told him to go to tesco and check out the pix a mix section

my humuor was wasted as he just kept sending the same txt :'(

haha this made me smile! Your response of course!  ;D
Does make you wonder about some people eh? lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 16 January 2018, 09:10:00 am
Idiot on the phone

"I'd like to enquire about a massage..." then proceeded to ask the same questions he'd asked in exactly the same order about three months ago.  I save these and what they say so if they call again and don't book they're getting hung up on and blocked. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 16 January 2018, 09:17:03 am
Message on AW just now....

21 yer old lad here, you looking for a fuck buddy?

 ::) ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 16 January 2018, 12:41:24 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 15 January 2018, 09:23:24 pm

...in future could you just have a wank without disturbing my inbox?

Thanks
Ya ha ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 16 January 2018, 12:49:37 pm
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 15 January 2018, 11:45:46 pm
txt recieved

"how much for 30 mints"

told him to go to tesco and check out the pix a mix section

Ya ha ha!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 16 January 2018, 12:56:04 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 16 January 2018, 09:17:03 am
Message on AW just now....

21 yer old lad here, you looking for a fuck buddy?

 ::) ???

I'm sure some of them think we're some kind of sex crazed robots who will just sleep with anyone.  I've been asked on a few occasions how I'm going to cope when I leave the industry soon without all this sex I'm currently having?   ;D ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Smurfet on 16 January 2018, 12:58:21 pm
Quote from: LisaLisa on 16 January 2018, 09:10:00 am
Idiot on the phone

"I'd like to enquire about a massage..." then proceeded to ask the same questions he'd asked in exactly the same order about three months ago.  I save these and what they say so if they call again and don't book they're getting hung up on and blocked.
This happens to me as well, it's really annoying!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 16 January 2018, 08:09:32 pm
I worry about our species... Email from AW

Hi,

Would you consider farting on my face??

Thanks

 :o :o :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 16 January 2018, 08:21:30 pm
Quote from: MsLadyV87 on 16 January 2018, 08:09:32 pm
I worry about our species... Email from AW

Hi,

Would you consider farting on my face??

Thanks

 :o :o :o

I had that one a long time ago. Not much would surprise me these days.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 16 January 2018, 10:03:32 pm
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 31 December 2017, 11:00:25 pm
Phone call today...

"You outcall?"
"Um, yes, where did you get my number?" As not on AW today, quotes random site that I asked to remove it before but hey ho  :FF
After a bit of waffle,

"You wear jewellery?
"What type?" Getting bored of twat now...
"Um, rings, necklaces, earrings"
"You mean expensive or cheap stuff?"
"Expensive"

I briefly explained his stupendous error although he sounded too stupid to actually understand why this might raise alarm bells to a single woman meeting a stranger for sex. This was Newport South Wales and I have the idiot's number if anyone wants it!

I'm pretty sure I've actually met this one. I got asked whether I wear a lot of jewellery, to which I just said no. He likes the 'chavvy' look.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 16 January 2018, 10:06:57 pm
Quote from: SuperCheese on 16 January 2018, 10:03:32 pm
I'm pretty sure I've actually met this one. I got asked whether I wear a lot of jewellery, to which I just said no. He likes the 'chavvy' look.

Haha in Newport? He'll be spoilt for choice! (I don't mean me or you, we are class, obviously... ;D)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 17 January 2018, 07:08:28 am
Anyone had an email on AW from this potential client with no feedback   medion88  ;D

Hi,

I have ?2,500 to spend for the night so if that will suffice please let me know.

I want you
x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Redhead on 17 January 2018, 07:41:38 am
Previously seen this guy before... the kind that thinks he knows al other working girls and their life story.

Wants to set up a threesum.. wants me to offer 2hrs at 1.5hr rate to allow ?pre meeting, meeting?
Wants to meet at 1.30pm... wants it to be my first booking of the day. I am on tour

Oh also wants me to outcall to other girls location, but at same rate as incall because ?it?s only 15mins from me?

I ask ?just to clarify, you want me to lose out on 30min pay to allow for a chat and you also want me to book out 4hours before you, meaning potential earning loss of 4.5hrs all for a 1.5hr booking??
 :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 17 January 2018, 12:35:02 pm
Quote from: MsLadyV87 on 16 January 2018, 08:09:32 pm
I worry about our species... Email from AW

Hi,

Would you consider farting on my face??

Thanks

 :o :o :o

I had an email like that in 2016 which resulted in a booking with such a lovely guy. He was so nice. All I had to do was sit on his face for an hour. He asked me at the time whether I could fart, but alas I couldn't :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 17 January 2018, 01:13:26 pm
Quote from: Gypsy on 17 January 2018, 12:35:02 pm
I had an email like that in 2016 which resulted in a booking with such a lovely guy. He was so nice. All I had to do was sit on his face for an hour. He asked me at the time whether I could fart, but alas I couldn't :)

Farting is definitely a 'thing' it has earned me money in ways I wouldn't want to explain!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katiexxx on 17 January 2018, 03:07:28 pm
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 17 January 2018, 01:13:26 pm
Farting is definitely a 'thing' it has earned me money in ways I wouldn't want to explain!  ;D

 ;D Was paid triple of my hourly rate by timid sub for farting. I had beans on toast for breakfast and lentil soup for my lunch. Haha that day I saw only him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 17 January 2018, 03:35:56 pm
Now I wish someone would come and pay me to fart for them !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 17 January 2018, 05:44:24 pm
Quote from: Willow x on 17 January 2018, 03:07:28 pm
;D Was paid triple of my hourly rate by timid sub for farting. I had beans on toast for breakfast and lentil soup for my lunch. Haha that day I saw only him.

Haha why's that then?!!  ;D ;D ;D

By the way, feel free to pass his number on...

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katiexxx on 17 January 2018, 05:51:04 pm
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 17 January 2018, 05:44:24 pm
Haha why's that then?!!  ;D ;D ;D

By the way, feel free to pass his number on...

Sorry going to be selfish and keep him  ;D He still paying for videos when I feel bloated. Great he's not requiring videos with my face. I don't think my face expression is ehm sexy x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 17 January 2018, 06:08:03 pm
haha you know, I can see it why there is someone who would actually 'get off' on that and be willing to pay, I dont judge whatsoever but if he was 'genuine' then surely he would explain a little bit more rather than just saying that. Hum would I do it even if he paid extra? I still wouldnt. Just not my thing. Money is great but have to feel comfortable too. Fair play to anyone willing to do it!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 18 January 2018, 06:26:36 pm

hey beautiful you ok just wondering what would you wear and do for 15 min and hope you ok im 27 with a big thick fat hard 7 inch and i think your beautiful hope to talk to you soon xxx

Oh it screams 'I'm just sat here having a wank with no intention of booking you'  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 18 January 2018, 06:37:45 pm
HI Hannah, Im a fun (location) guy, can you email me xxxgmail.com about a meeting? I have one question, can you take really thick cocks?

Should have told him I can take thick cocks but can't tolerate thick customers before deleting it and blocking. :D
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katiexxx on 18 January 2018, 06:45:57 pm
12.52 HEY. Where in (my city) are you?
14.27 HEY. Where in (my city) are you?
14.40 HEY. Where in (my city) are you?
15.24 HEY. Where in (my city) are you?
15.52 HEY. Where in (my city) are you?

Blocked him after his last text. Bless him found him on FB to be disabled.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 18 January 2018, 06:59:01 pm
Just had a very very long e-mail I tried copy and paste over but it wouldn't work.
Basically the guy was blocked it was the best thing to do to him .
It was excessive it was a epic  2 hour request   demanding schedule involving strawberry cheesecakes
Lots of envelopes lots of different outfit changes and many knickers .
I think boot camp would have been more chilled out 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ruby Redhead on 18 January 2018, 11:21:45 pm
Him:
So would you be cool with wearing my puffa jacket back to front so the zip runs up your back then I put a ball gag on you and hogtie you so I can play with your pussy? Then we have sex while you are led on your back with your wrists tied to your ankles and also in doggy with your arms tied behind your back? xx

Me:
I just can not take your request seriously.
In answer to your question, no.
blocked
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 18 January 2018, 11:29:41 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 18 January 2018, 06:59:01 pm
Just had a very very long e-mail I tried copy and paste over but it wouldn't work.
Basically the guy was blocked it was the best thing to do to him .
It was excessive it was a epic  2 hour request   demanding schedule involving strawberry cheesecakes
Lots of envelopes lots of different outfit changes and many knickers .
I think boot camp would have been more chilled out

That's good enough for me!!! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss harlequin on 19 January 2018, 06:51:04 am
Him. Hi are you available today
(My AT and phone number are showing and it?s written all over my profile)
Me. Yes what time would you prefer and how long
Him. Erm I don?t know........ erm half an hour. An hour, whatever I don?t know you tell me
Me. 25 may at 7.30 for five hours then great I?ll pop it in the diary bye

I know it?s too bad really but why phone to book in when they don?t know when they want or for how long I?ve had too many of those this week I?m tired of it
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 19 January 2018, 09:32:54 am
Quote from: wishlist on 18 January 2018, 06:26:36 pm
hey beautiful you ok just wondering what would you wear and do for 15 min and hope you ok im 27 with a big thick fat hard 7 inch and i think your beautiful hope to talk to you soon xxx

Oh it screams 'I'm just sat here having a wank with no intention of booking you'  ::)
Exactly!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 19 January 2018, 09:33:53 am
Quote from: Hannaah on 18 January 2018, 06:37:45 pm
Should have told him I can take thick cocks but can't tolerate thick customers before deleting it and blocking. :D
Ya ha ha, exactly!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 19 January 2018, 09:41:42 am
Quote from: Ruby Redhead on 18 January 2018, 11:21:45 pm
Him:
So would you be cool with wearing my puffa jacket back to front so the zip runs up your back then I put a ball gag on you and hogtie you so I can play with your pussy? Then we have sex while you are led on your back with your wrists tied to your ankles and also in doggy with your arms tied behind your back? xx
Punters should avoid getting high (on whatever substance/s they choose to indulge) before contacting an escort...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 19 January 2018, 12:30:47 pm
Quote from: Miss harlequin on 19 January 2018, 06:51:04 am
I know it?s too bad really but why phone to book in when they don?t know when they want or for how long I?ve had too many of those this week I?m tired of it

I find more often than not the reason they don't know is because they're not genuine.  Any serious gent would know what time and how long they'd like to book for so I don't entertain it either.  I say well take another look at my profile and call me back when you know.  If they sound like an idiot I just block.  Loved your response by the way might have to try that one lol. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 19 January 2018, 02:12:09 pm
Address ..?
Text to me this afternoon
Who would even bother replying to that ..idiot
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 19 January 2018, 02:26:14 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 19 January 2018, 02:12:09 pm
Address ..?
Text to me this afternoon
Who would even bother replying to that ..idiot

I have had one or two of these and replied giving a silly made up address and adding "hurry am waiting for you"

Only if I am in a silly mood will I do that though, normally I just ignore.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 19 January 2018, 02:33:04 pm
Justine don't tempt me !!!
Local police station postcode is a must  :) :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katiexxx on 19 January 2018, 02:39:29 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 19 January 2018, 02:33:04 pm
Justine don't tempt me !!!
Local police station postcode is a must  :) :)

Or gypsy caravan site  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 19 January 2018, 03:01:22 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 19 January 2018, 02:33:04 pm
Justine don't tempt me !!!
Local police station postcode is a must  :) :)

Quote from: Willow x on 19 January 2018, 02:39:29 pm
Or gypsy caravan site  ;D

You ladies are 'wicked' and I love it!!!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 20 January 2018, 07:07:29 am
Quote from: Justine on 19 January 2018, 02:26:14 pm
I have had one or two of these and replied giving a silly made up address and adding "hurry am waiting for you"

Only if I am in a silly mood will I do that though, normally I just ignore.

I did this once and gave the postcode for the crematorium
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss harlequin on 20 January 2018, 08:28:35 am
By text this morning and I don?t respond to text messages it says on every page of my profile any texts sent will receive an automated response which states to call me and deleted

Stupid. Hi are u free for a couple of hours this morning
Me. Automated response
Stupid. I don?t think I will be able to find you on the site as I?m tech shite please text me your number and I will arrange to call
Me. Automated response
Stupid. Number please
Me. Automated response

Seriously how stupid can one person be! He?s clearly texting the number he can?t find! I wonder how he ties his shoelaces I really cannot believe how these people exist
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 20 January 2018, 03:21:58 pm
Quote from: Miss harlequin on 20 January 2018, 08:28:35 am
By text this morning and I don?t respond to text messages it says on every page of my profile any texts sent will receive an automated response which states to call me and deleted

Stupid. Hi are u free for a couple of hours this morning
Me. Automated response
Stupid. I don?t think I will be able to find you on the site as I?m tech shite please text me your number and I will arrange to call
Me. Automated response
Stupid. Number please
Me. Automated response

Seriously how stupid can one person be! He?s clearly texting the number he can?t find! I wonder how he ties his shoelaces I really cannot believe how these people exist

This is fucking hilarious!

It's almost tempting to book him in and have a good laugh at him being unable to take off his clothes without assistance.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jasmine89 on 22 January 2018, 01:11:05 pm
Phone call this morning
Him: Where are you located?
Me: Have you had a look at my profile?
Him: Yeah it says your in (my location)
Me: Ok so there?s the answer you were looking for
Him: So it is!

How do these men function in life?
 :FF ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lillys0 on 22 January 2018, 02:41:39 pm
2 no shows today taking the piss arrgh !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jasmine89 on 22 January 2018, 09:02:55 pm
Phone call
Him: Hi are you free now?
Me: No I?m not
Him: Oh I want to see you for an hour
Me: I don?t have an hour available this evening
Him: Oh what about 90 minutes?
 :FF

Logic doesn?t seem to work for this one
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Katiexxx on 23 January 2018, 01:36:10 am
Cunt head: Call me an I'll help you to get British passport
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 23 January 2018, 10:26:40 am
Text from twat "Hi. 1hr right now for 90?"

He must have got a promotion or something because back in September the offer was 1 hr for 80.  Good for him.   ::) ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss harlequin on 23 January 2018, 10:36:23 am
I?m getting more and more sure these idiots say ridiculous things to see if we post about them then they are safe in the knowledge of our identities! Like who cares! One client told me he joined here and waits to see how long he lasts before being kicked off! I asked him if he was backward and what exactly he thinks he?s gaining! Idiot shame he has so much time on his hands really ought to do something a tad more creative however with a pea sized brain I guess that would be difficult!

Anyway my latest..........

Dreamer. Please can I book but instead of paying can I buy you petrol and fill up your tank?
Me. Why yes of course actually that would be fabulous.
Dreamer. Really great when can I book?
Me. Well we can do the fuel first then the appointment. I have a piper small aircraft it usually takes about ?250.00 so I?m getting a good rate for a half hour booking about tomorrow?
Dreamer. Erm
Me. Bye
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 23 January 2018, 10:53:01 am
Quote from: Miss harlequin on 23 January 2018, 10:36:23 am
I?m getting more and more sure these idiots say ridiculous things to see if we post about them then they are safe in the knowledge of our identities! Like who cares! One client told me he joined here and waits to see how long he lasts before being kicked off! I asked him if he was backward and what exactly he thinks he?s gaining! Idiot shame he has so much time on his hands really ought to do something a tad more creative however with a pea sized brain I guess that would be difficult!

I had someone ask me the other day if he was going to end up in the "How not to book an escort, world championships" I said no.  But I guess now he is.  I'm sure he'll be reading so I guess you did end up here after all, you're famous  ;D

Loved the response about fuelling the aircraft  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss harlequin on 23 January 2018, 11:03:08 am
Thank you Lisa Lisa I have very very low tolerance hahaha

Client. What do I get with the tie and tease session?
Me. Pardon?
Client. What do I get with the tie and tease session?
Me. Well you turn up in a tie and then we get cozy on the settee and watch tv eating maltezers! I thought that was obvious!
Client. Oh I thought it was where you would tie me up and then tease me sexually!
Me. Huh go figure
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: little-minx on 24 January 2018, 06:04:28 pm
Tonight phone call from one of the rudest guys I've spoken to.

Me: "Hello"
Rude bastard: "Details?"
Me "What details would you like?"
Rude bastard "WELL prices, availabil.." before he'd even said availability he was talking to my dialling tone. 

Prat. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 24 January 2018, 06:39:39 pm


By mail on AW , I Liked the "baby girl" ...I'm 46, the "suger daddy" profile states is 29 .



hello baby girl

how are you?????

come and see me in london on thursday or friday come and party with me i want to take you shopping buy u some sexy clothers , nice shoes and whatever u like i will buy them for you and plus i will give you 300 pound in cash for you i want to be ya suger daddy and boyfriend you are beautiful and sexy

i will meet u in streatham hill train station

call me now ************ jackson
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 24 January 2018, 09:14:50 pm
Tonight's pick of the copypastes ::)

Quote
Well hello there. I'm just finding my way around but you really caught my eye! Yummy. You are just beyond gorgeous babe ;)

Got to get this out of the way though.....do you like younger guys? I'm 21 years old, born & bred in England, I do a lot of keep fit so my body is in nice shape and I've got brown hair and blue eyes. I also drive so I can visit you anywhere you like. I love ladies older than myself. the age gap really turns me on HUGELY ;) Do you like younger guys?

I really, really hope I'm old enough for you.

My ultimate fantasy is to engage in naughtiness in the bedroom with a mature lady while she's wearing stockings.....lick her all over...and let our imaginations do the rest ;). That would drive me WILD! Yum!

So, is 21 too young for you and do you like younger guys?

Let me know and we'll take it from there. xx

Leaving aside the rest of the boak-fest, Mr 'just finding his way around' has been on AW since 2015 :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 24 January 2018, 09:21:28 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 24 January 2018, 06:39:39 pm

By mail on AW , I Liked the "baby girl" ...I'm 46, the "suger daddy" profile states is 29 .



hello baby girl

how are you?????

come and see me in london on thursday or friday come and party with me i want to take you shopping buy u some sexy clothers , nice shoes and whatever u like i will buy them for you and plus i will give you 300 pound in cash for you i want to be ya suger daddy and boyfriend you are beautiful and sexy

i will meet u in streatham hill train station

call me now ************ jackson

I had this about a month back and again today! I really thought it was just for me, I feel so violated now... ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 25 January 2018, 01:04:49 am
 
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 24 January 2018, 09:21:28 pm
I had this about a month back and again today! I really thought it was just for me, I feel so violated now... ;D


 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 27 January 2018, 12:31:39 am
Subject:   Re: available tonight?


Sex ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MelissaS on 29 January 2018, 10:04:44 am
First caller/dickhead of the day:

Him: "Hi, where abouts are you"

*I relucatantly answer*

Him: "What's your prices?

Me: "They're on my profile"

Him: "Well I'm not on there now so just tell me over the phone, how much would er say, a fuck and a suck be?"

My god I know what we do but there's a way to speak to us, surely? I told him I wasn't interested and we wouldn't be suitable. He did start saying something but I'll never know what he said as I hung straight up  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lillys0 on 30 January 2018, 10:19:50 am
Hi I'm looking for no strings attached fun interested ?
Are these guys for real?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 30 January 2018, 10:51:27 am
How not to book an escort?

When your name comes up in Truecaller as timewasting wanker   :) ::)

I caught two out this morning and it felt rather good to let them know I will not be waiting around for bookings which were never going to happen.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lillys0 on 30 January 2018, 11:18:22 am
Quote from: Justine on 30 January 2018, 10:51:27 am
How not to book an escort?

When your name comes up in Truecaller as timewasting wanker   :) ::)

I caught two out this morning and it felt rather good to let them know I will not be waiting around for bookings which were never going to happen.

I love truecaller
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 30 January 2018, 11:19:24 am
Quote from: Justine on 30 January 2018, 10:51:27 am
How not to book an escort?

When your name comes up in Truecaller as timewasting wanker   :) ::)

I caught two out this morning and it felt rather good to let them know I will not be waiting around for bookings which were never going to happen.

Agreed!  ;D Glad it helped you xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 30 January 2018, 04:59:52 pm
Quote from: amy on 24 January 2018, 09:14:50 pm
Tonight's pick of the copypastes ::)

Leaving aside the rest of the boak-fest, Mr 'just finding his way around' has been on AW since 2015 :D

Do these fuck twits really think we cant see how long they've been a member on AW? Clearly so.....Had one email me with 0 feedback stating that he is new to all of this.. hence the 0 feedback and hope i'll see him. Bastard has been a member since 2015. yh ok moron.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 30 January 2018, 05:53:03 pm
AW mail

Him:Would you consider bareback, 300 per hour. I'm Bob, white male gent 58 years.
Me: A true gentleman would never ask for bareback.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 30 January 2018, 06:03:31 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 30 January 2018, 05:53:03 pm
AW mail

Him:Would you consider bareback, 300 per hour. I'm Bob, white male gent 58 years.
Me: A true gentleman would never ask for bareback.

Great reply  ;D xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Scottishgirl74 on 30 January 2018, 06:06:43 pm
Just got this text

Him - Can I book you for foot fetish please?
Me - Yes
Him - Do you have toe rings and open toe heels?
Me - I do yes
Him - Would it be possible if we go for an outside walk with you wearing one heel and your other foot bare with toe rings?

I couldn?t stop laughing at the thought of me doing this in my suspenders, stockings and limping like Jake the peg haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 30 January 2018, 10:03:43 pm
Hi -----,

Hope you're well. I'm staying in Newport tonight, and I'd love a Hardsports domination session if you were up for it? I know you haven't mentioned it specifically, but I thought I'd ask!

Do you think you'll need to poo this evening? I'd love to be tied to a chair, and fed your waste with a spoon!

Looking forward to your reply!

Manx man xx

 :FF :FF :FF :FF

I've never mentioned it specifically, because it's not on offer! I think I'd rather roll in a paddling pool full of pebbles!  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 01 February 2018, 10:00:56 am
Message on AW this morn from a profile with no ratings and when clicked on not accessible, why he needs to tell me hes an 'escort' I don't know  ::)

Hi I?m a male escort in a very similar area to you no bookings this morning and bored wornderd if you fancie a coffee and a fuck before 12 today? Let me know x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 01 February 2018, 12:18:30 pm
'Hi [my work name spelt incorrectly] bby u r sexy lady I like lick your pusssy water boobs eating yours pusssy kiss unr like'

All peppered with emojis. Sure sounds great, come on over!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 01 February 2018, 01:28:12 pm
Quote from: SuperCheese on 30 January 2018, 10:03:43 pm
Hi -----,

Hope you're well. I'm staying in Newport tonight, and I'd love a Hardsports domination session if you were up for it? I know you haven't mentioned it specifically, but I thought I'd ask!

Do you think you'll need to poo this evening? I'd love to be tied to a chair, and fed your waste with a spoon!

Looking forward to your reply!

Manx man xx

 :FF :FF :FF :FF

I've never mentioned it specifically, because it's not on offer! I think I'd rather roll in a paddling pool full of pebbles!  ???

I had this exact same message ... spew
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 02 February 2018, 11:02:03 am
Hi there miss im walkimg through your area are you free ?
What area is that, says an area no where near mine .
I just blocked I can't be bothered with this clown
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 02 February 2018, 02:05:24 pm
Today's special emails asking if I'm available  and what's my mobile
Then I e-mail  with its clearly displayed right now can He not view it
He then emails back referring to me as a fucking idiot
And now not going to book me
Oh my heart bleeds   :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Britishblonde on 02 February 2018, 09:30:43 pm

Is it possible for you to travel internationally (Spain) as vip companion for one weekend provided your plane tickets and accommodation paid for? What would be your conditions then?
My aim is when i go from time to time to business meetings in different cities of Europe is to meet with young and beautiful models. There is nothing hard or special requests from my side. The main goal of this meeting is to relax in a nice luxurious surrounding, have some good food and drinks, and sensual foreplay and sex. This is mainly my expectation from this meeting. Should you hav? any suggestion or remarks please let me Know.
One important detail, i am very exigent about cleanness, hygiene and safety, as i am sure you are.


Guy has 0 feedback and has been an AW member for 6 years  ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sherbet_dab on 03 February 2018, 11:02:56 am
Had one last night on AW wanting an outcall. I turned him down as he had several negative feedbacks in amongst the good ones - at which point he started with the abusive messages.

I swear, I never encountered so many rude, entitled man-babies in all my life as I did once I started escorting!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 03 February 2018, 11:29:53 am
when your profile clearly states you arent available until a certain time and you get two emails this morning....

'hey are you available this today? x'

'Hello love are you free to meet today'

 :FF :FF :FF :FF


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 03 February 2018, 02:18:49 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 02 February 2018, 02:05:24 pm
Today's special emails asking if I'm available  and what's my mobile
Then I e-mail  with its clearly displayed right now can He not view it
He then emails back referring to me as a fucking idiot
And now not going to book me
Oh my heart bleeds   :(
lol how is he calling you the idiot in this equation when he can't read?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 03 February 2018, 05:34:23 pm
Even retarded men have access to our profiles  it amazes me how  they even know what an escort is or what escorts do  !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 03 February 2018, 07:16:07 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 03 February 2018, 05:34:23 pm
Even retarded men have access to our profiles  it amazes me how  they even know what an escort is or what escorts do  !!!

it amazes me that they even fucking exist. SCUMS!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 03 February 2018, 07:30:39 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 03 February 2018, 05:34:23 pm
Even retarded men have access to our profiles  it amazes me how  they even know what an escort is or what escorts do  !!!

Amen to that sister!  :-* xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 04 February 2018, 02:14:48 am
Quote from: GG on 01 February 2018, 01:28:12 pm
I had this exact same message ... spew

I'm guessing everyone in Newport said no to him, so he had to message every one of us in South Wales!  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 04 February 2018, 02:18:19 am
I'm looking for a girl for role-playing fun I like to dress u up as my wife's friends and my mates wives and fuck???

This guy goes by the name of sticky spunky.... errr, just no!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 04 February 2018, 01:25:51 pm
Him: Do hour for 90 later I will visit u as I'm in area
Me: I'll let you have 2 hours totally free. Is that not good enough? Ok, you can have an overnight and I'll pay you, seeing as you must be doing me such a favour.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 04 February 2018, 05:08:14 pm
where r u x

Usually ignored but was super quiet, so I replied.

"r u english"

Internal grumble and eye roll, but answered, albeit rather curtly.

"how much 4 hand job xx"

Lost all patience- All info can be found on my profile, thanks.

Never heard back from him, I wonder why.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KittenCandy on 04 February 2018, 05:17:04 pm
Quote from: SuperCheese on 04 February 2018, 01:25:51 pm
Him: Do hour for 90 later I will visit u as I'm in area
Me: I'll let you have 2 hours totally free. Is that not good enough? Ok, you can have an overnight and I'll pay you, seeing as you must be doing me such a favour.

have they always been this cheeky? seems lately  they are getting braver and braver in haggling.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 04 February 2018, 08:34:26 pm
want to come over to the xxx tonight and sub for me for 2 hours?

I don't offer outcalls. I don't work weekends. I don't offer more than 1 hour max for a first time sub service. It is all over my profile I am not currently accepting new clients for submissive bookings. I don't see people with multiple aw accounts. And most importantly, I wont see anyone who is rude enough to not begin a message with hello. #Petty.  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Treetop on 04 February 2018, 11:52:43 pm
Twice today from user with a surprising amount of feedback "hey hun fancy making a baby tomorrow"   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 05 February 2018, 12:04:32 am
Quote from: amy on 24 January 2018, 09:14:50 pm
Tonight's pick of the copypastes ::)

Leaving aside the rest of the boak-fest, Mr 'just finding his way around' has been on AW since 2015 :D
I got this too , although 40 sounds young to me lol !
I just Send back a good luck :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 05 February 2018, 12:13:48 am
I got a 'details' text, that's all at 7am ish , so I sent back "oh that's an unusual hello" so I got back " details please"
I should of sent ....well I kook like sideshow Bob at the moment I drinking a coffee and your pissing me off , but hey I just sent a flurry of bemused ????

I realise some guys are driving etc but FFS  'details '  what the fuck ! Yeah I'm eating a doughnut and organising my nice lovely bookings thanks twathead !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 05 February 2018, 08:42:39 am
They are probably just as bad with
dentist  something like  .. u do  teeth please ?
Doctor  when u free I'm sick ?
Gum clinic .u free u open  I need to cum now ?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 05 February 2018, 11:20:12 am
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 05 February 2018, 08:42:39 am
They are probably just as bad with
dentist  something like  .. u do  teeth please ?
Doctor  when u free I'm sick ?
Gum clinic .u free u open  I need to cum now ?

 :D

Hairdresser: "Come now bring scissors"
Calling child in sick to school: "Johnny ill no scool 2day"
Calling themselves in sick to work: "sick"
Suggesting to best mate they go for a drink after work: "beer"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 05 February 2018, 11:25:29 am
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 05 February 2018, 11:20:12 am
:D

Hairdresser: "Come now bring scissors"
Calling child in sick to school: "Johnny ill no scool 2day"
Calling themselves in sick to work: "sick"
Suggesting to best mate they go for a drink after work: "beer"

U want to marry me  c u  what's location postcode ?
I'm in jail luv  u free for visit ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 05 February 2018, 11:29:16 am
Quote from: Guiltypleasure on 05 February 2018, 12:13:48 am
I got a 'details' text, that's all at 7am ish , so I sent back "oh that's an unusual hello" so I got back " details please"
I should of sent ....well I kook like sideshow Bob at the moment I drinking a coffee and your pissing me off , but hey I just sent a flurry of bemused ????

I realise some guys are driving etc but FFS  'details '  what the fuck ! Yeah I'm eating a doughnut and organising my nice lovely bookings thanks twathead !

Sorry im just distacted by the fact you were eating a doughnut for breakfast! mmmmmmm living the dream!! mmmmmmm I want a doughnut!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MelissaS on 06 February 2018, 01:11:32 pm
I've just had someone ring me up and I told him I'd send him my postcode and then I'd need him to call me when he arrived outside and as long as I could see him I'd give him the door number to come in.

And he laughed and said 'ok' in a bit of a slightly sarcastic voice.

I'm guessing he must find my security procedures a bit of a joke  ??? but I've cancelled on him as it just gave me the impression he doesn't take the matter seriously. Low and behold he didn't text back either to acknowledge my cancellation so just goes to show.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: dollar18 on 06 February 2018, 02:33:26 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 24 January 2018, 06:39:39 pm

By mail on AW , I Liked the "baby girl" ...I'm 46, the "suger daddy" profile states is 29 .



hello baby girl

how are you?????

come and see me in london on thursday or friday come and party with me i want to take you shopping buy u some sexy clothers , nice shoes and whatever u like i will buy them for you and plus i will give you 300 pound in cash for you i want to be ya suger daddy and boyfriend you are beautiful and sexy

i will meet u in streatham hill train station

call me now ************ jackson


this guy been contacting me the last couple of days with exactly same patter!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kitty_69 on 07 February 2018, 01:07:41 am
got this one on aw

Hi I like your profile, would you do an overnight at a derby hotel for ?500? The services I'm looking for are kiss, bj, bareback anal and doggystyle


i don't do bareback anal or overnight
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GG on 07 February 2018, 11:00:09 pm
And even if you did even one of those things  ?500 is he having a laugh lol
I've just had a guy asking for my 80 service. I ignored him so he text back 2 hours later asking for my 60 service. I told him I'd never had a 60 service. He was offering to send me screenshots of vivastreet to prove it.  :FF  :FF seriously where are some guys heads. Did he really think he could convince me I did offer a ?60 and that I'd meet him .... I thought I'd blocked him but obviously not because then I got a load of text saying "Please tell me the prize" I wasn't sure if he was a bad speller or just a prize plonker!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Worried93 on 09 February 2018, 05:37:38 pm
Me-hi
Idiot-hi are you available
Me-yeah
Idiot- silence
Me-hello?
Idiot-silence
Me-hello can you hear me
Idiot-yeah can you hear me
Me-yeah that's why I replied to you.
Idiot-are you available (a certain time)
Me- I ask for an hours notice
Idiot- okay can I have (in hours time)
Me-sure how long do you want
Idiot-15 minutes
Me- I don't offer that
Idiot-how much is half hour
Me-did you not read any of the profile
Idiot -(obviously disgusted at such a question) ughh na fuck that (hangs up)


 :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 09 February 2018, 10:41:42 pm
mmmmm y.u want 2 party asian male -phone number-

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 11 February 2018, 05:08:09 pm
Hiya great profile and pics!

Are you single if I may ask?

Do you like fetish/taboo?

Hope you're having a good weekend.

xxxxx

 ??? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anais on 11 February 2018, 07:48:16 pm
Ya fancy a gangbang  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 11 February 2018, 07:58:46 pm
? are you on ? ?

Wtf  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 11 February 2018, 08:45:58 pm
Quote from: GG on 11 February 2018, 07:58:46 pm
? are you on ? ?

Wtf  ::)

Out of boredom I would of replied Yes I am on my period and is bleeding heavy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 12 February 2018, 12:27:17 am
Quote from: DynamiteDoll on 11 February 2018, 08:45:58 pm
Out of boredom I would of replied Yes I am on my period and is bleeding heavy.

As he was probably wanting period play/chat, it's best not to entertain them lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: silkswan on 12 February 2018, 01:16:23 pm
despite making the effort to write a concise but articulate bio with all the info needed.... so many one liners lately just saying 'u working tonight'... today this guy was like '100 for an hour' when i charge 150 and i couldnt stop myself from replying to them all saying 'what a catch you are, everyone loves an illiterate haggler' even though work is so slow this month! what i really want to say is 'no wonder you have to pay for it if thats how you approach women' but doubtless would end up on punting forums with a fake bad review  ;D
disheartening as hell of late
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TandPJS on 12 February 2018, 02:35:43 pm
urgh yeah, like all they guys who send messages like "i have a budget of 150" or "fell 20 mins 40euros?"
it's like dude i don't give a shit about your budget! it's not you who decides my prices!

best of these so far was a guy who booked for half an hour where it's just a quickie for me, but wanted to take aaaages, i told him next time to book for an hour but he replied "i don't pay more than 100euros by principle"
BY PRINCIPLE?? i didn't reply but i wish i had saying "i have a principle of respecting myself and not shagging stingy buggers, especially after i've seen how big your flat is!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: loubyloo on 12 February 2018, 06:44:01 pm
Text sent at 2am
'Can I come for sex?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Seamstress on 13 February 2018, 03:56:54 pm
"Hi, yeah, I want a booking"
"Great, whereabouts are you based?"
"Exeter"
"I don't think that's really going to work"
"I have a really big cock"
"It'd have to be to reach Edinburgh"
#HangUp
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 13 February 2018, 07:16:22 pm
Quote from: Seamstress on 13 February 2018, 03:56:54 pm
"Hi, yeah, I want a booking"
"Great, whereabouts are you based?"
"Exeter"
"I don't think that's really going to work"
"I have a really big cock"
"It'd have to be to reach Edinburgh"
#HangUp

 ;D :FF ;D :FF

prick "Hi would u b avalible tonite plz"
me "Don't work evenings hun"
prick "ok not even for dinner"
prick " may I ask ur name hun"
me "My name would be on the advert where you found my number and 'I don't work evenings' means just that. For any kind of booking. Even dinner"
prick "Wat ever bye"

OH MY GOOD GOD  :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anais on 13 February 2018, 10:30:35 pm
Text:

Hi hun, great pics. If you ever need a gardener let me know.  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 13 February 2018, 10:32:25 pm
Quote from: Seamstress on 13 February 2018, 03:56:54 pm
"Hi, yeah, I want a booking"
"Great, whereabouts are you based?"
"Exeter"
"I don't think that's really going to work"
"I have a really big cock"
"It'd have to be to reach Edinburgh"
#HangUp

😀😀😀😀😀😀
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JustAnotherHooker on 13 February 2018, 10:57:13 pm
Quote from: Modesty Blaize on 13 February 2018, 10:30:35 pm
Text:

Hi hun, great pics. If you ever need a gardener let me know.  ???


I would've replied that I trim my own bush!!!  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 14 February 2018, 09:54:49 am
Text

I would love you to fuck my face  ??? am 25 young and would show you a time of ur life

Word for word, who wants him?

 :D :D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 14 February 2018, 10:56:45 am
Did he not wish you a happy Valentine's day ?!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 14 February 2018, 11:44:47 am
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 14 February 2018, 09:54:49 am
Text

I would love you to fuck my face  ??? am 25 young and would show you a time of ur life

Word for word, who wants him?

 :D :D :D

Of course this charmer was saving this request for valentines day!!!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 14 February 2018, 11:47:21 am
I was a little confused that he wanted me to fuck his face, what with? A baseball bat? A cucumber? The mind boggles! That's the best I get on Valentine's Day, lucky I have low expectations!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 14 February 2018, 01:51:35 pm
Some old Charmer had messaged me for weeks on e-mail.
Calls today talks on and on  about a load of crap , books then cancels  30 mins later trying to get a different time slot .no I'm busy to You sir  bye ..
You can see them coming a Mile off can't you.
Valentine's  spent eating some  chocolates and ignoring the bullshit messages .now
Some one promised flowers and wanted my postcode ...  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 14 February 2018, 03:42:19 pm
I had this plonker few moments ago.

Hi i would like to book you today what time do you have.
me - available in the next 1 hour
him - ok i will book you then. Are you taking any more bookings
me i was confused so I replied what do you mean

him - will you be seeing other clients before i arrive
me - of course is that an issue
him - well i would like to be the first client
me - well you should of booked in the morning
him - i will like to book tomorrow to be first client
me - that is fine but you wont be the first cock that would have been inside me
him - what do you mean
me - well i would of fukd my boyfriend before starting work ( course i did not want this idiot booking )
him - that is nasty
 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GG on 14 February 2018, 11:06:35 pm
You are not in Manchester by any chance are you?
As they are all out today
After asking if i was available, where am I based etc
Plonker 1 - how many clients are you seeing tonight? Or would it be best to arrange for tomorrow I want to be the first person you see?

I Didn?t even qualify it with a reply, especially as I don?t even offer full sex anymore the idiot

Plonker 2 @  10:38pm - can u send me address please m coming to u tomorrow night

Me - Who are you???

P2 - I see ur number on visa street m coming from Oldham


Me - Try speaking to me and asking can you make a booking first??? How do you know I would agree to see you???? I don?t even work nights, I?m not sure what ?visa street? is but I state on every advert not to contact me between 8pm and 8am

P2 - ok so when I call let me no plz
P2 - Baby
Me - IM NOT YOUR BABY!!!!!!!

Phone rings.......

P2 - Baby

Me - argggggggh #$*#?!!*+  :FF  :FF  :FF

Click........

Seriously if visa did bookings lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 15 February 2018, 11:25:34 am
Email this morning
What's your location.?
Not hello nothing else .
So no answer sent back just blocked
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Christinex on 15 February 2018, 05:31:02 pm
Idiot: Hiya mate, ru free?
Me: Nah sorry pal
Idiot: Alrite cheers

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Seamstress on 15 February 2018, 09:56:47 pm
Call at 2am.
When you don't get an answer, try again.
When you STILL don't get an answer, try another coupla times, just in case...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GG on 16 February 2018, 06:12:15 am
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 15 February 2018, 11:25:34 am
Email this morning
What's your location.?
Not hello nothing else .
So no answer sent back just blocked

Your honoured, I've had a few texts with just 'Address' or theres another guy who texts a few times a month middle of the night with 'Outcall M9' I tried telling him at first that I don't do outcalls or work nights but that was  a year ago and hes still at it lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 17 February 2018, 04:27:17 pm
Prat: Are you free?
Me: I'm not free, I'm expensive.
Prat: LOL I mean when you free
Me: Never, I'm always expensive.
Prat: How much then?
Me: refer back to AW profile link
Prat: 70 isn't that expensive
Me: In that case I'll be happy to charge you double.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 18 February 2018, 01:59:10 pm
I really wish there was an award for the most inventive message ever because I really think I have a great contender here...

Text yesterday (only just stopped laughing now)

'Hi im peter i know this sounds silly but would you sell a bloke to a chinese takeaway and keep the money you get for him if it was his fantasy'

I mean what can you say to that! Now I'll be very upset if any of you have had this too, he's mine... :D :D :D



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Christinex on 18 February 2018, 02:15:44 pm
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 18 February 2018, 01:59:10 pm
I really wish there was an award for the most inventive message ever because I really think I have a great contender here...

Text yesterday (only just stopped laughing now)

'Hi im peter i know this sounds silly but would you sell a bloke to a chinese takeaway and keep the money you get for him if it was his fantasy'

I mean what can you say to that! Now I'll be very upset if any of you have had this too, he's mine... :D :D :D

This creep been around for couple of years now. I had this one too. Sometimes he ask for crush toys with my bum but Chinese take away is his last fantasy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 18 February 2018, 05:10:36 pm
How do they think these things up  madness  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 18 February 2018, 05:21:41 pm
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 18 February 2018, 01:59:10 pm
I really wish there was an award for the most inventive message ever because I really think I have a great contender here...

Text yesterday (only just stopped laughing now)

'Hi im peter i know this sounds silly but would you sell a bloke to a chinese takeaway and keep the money you get for him if it was his fantasy'

I mean what can you say to that! Now I'll be very upset if any of you have had this too, he's mine... :D :D :D

Sorry but he texted me yesterday!

I've also had one which I think is also from him saying

"Hi I'm Peter would you cover me in sun dried tomatoes and cook me"

I replied "Sorry that's too middle class for me, Aldi tinned tomatoes will have to do"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 18 February 2018, 06:25:23 pm
A nice day off for me but I checked my texts and one thoughtful man who is to be commended for his discretion  ::), asked if I would meet up in my local pub for a little drink and then he would "follow" me back to mine.

You got to hand it to some of them for imagination.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 18 February 2018, 08:29:35 pm
Quote from: Justine on 18 February 2018, 06:25:23 pm
A nice day off for me but I checked my texts and one thoughtful man who is to be commended for his discretion  ::), asked if I would meet up in my local pub for a little drink and then he would "follow" me back to mine.

You got to hand it to some of them for imagination.

I had similar, but he wanted to meet in a local pub to us both and have me give him a BJ in the toilets!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 18 February 2018, 09:06:20 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 18 February 2018, 05:21:41 pm
Sorry but he texted me yesterday!

I've also had one which I think is also from him saying

"Hi I'm Peter would you cover me in sun dried tomatoes and cook me"

I replied "Sorry that's too middle class for me, Aldi tinned tomatoes will have to do"

 ;D ;D ;D

I'm very confused now, I just sold him to the Chinese takeaway, he won't have the time for your Aldi tomatoes! Some guys just don't think, do they?!

 :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 18 February 2018, 11:09:58 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 18 February 2018, 08:29:35 pm
I had similar, but he wanted to meet in a local pub to us both and have me give him a BJ in the toilets!

I had some clown try this toilet meet up on me last year claimed he was staying at premier inn
Yet when I got there " oh I'll meet you in the loo luv can u do it in there "?
I drove off without answering his texts  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 21 February 2018, 12:09:43 pm
Yet again my tiny mind is blown by people! i go round in circles about this - wondering why, not caring - wondering why again. It just baffles me what goes through these blokes heads. Although I'm not sure they are using their heads. Just people. I'm turning into a recluse! I love this thread though. At least I know it's not me that's the problem   :FF ;D :FF ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 21 February 2018, 01:27:16 pm
Would you give me an hour booking in exchange for 7 bottles of wine worth 80.00 ?
I didn't need to reply  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 21 February 2018, 01:27:41 pm
Good morning

Hope you are safe and well? I want to be cheeky and ask for a invite to yours for a few hours on Friday? Chill and fuck I am horny as hell but skint. I can come in uniform if that will convince you haha.

Your RAF guy Mark xxxx

 ??? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 21 February 2018, 04:12:55 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 21 February 2018, 01:27:41 pm
Good morning

Hope you are safe and well? I want to be cheeky and ask for a invite to yours for a few hours on Friday? Chill and fuck I am horny as hell but skint. I can come in uniform if that will convince you haha.

Your RAF guy Mark xxxx

 ??? ::)

Did he get lost? Does he think he's on Tinder??? Honestly! IT'S OUR JOB!

Saying that some of my actual clients are surprised when I say this is my only source of income. "It's not my hobby love!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 21 February 2018, 04:16:15 pm
Quote from: Marianne on 21 February 2018, 04:12:55 pm
Did he get lost? Does he think he's on Tinder??? Honestly! IT'S OUR JOB!

Saying that some of my actual clients are surprised when I say this is my only source of income. "It's not my hobby love!"

It really does amaze me some of the things that arrive in my inbox plus arrive in uniform......oh yes that's very discrete when would you like your free booking  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JustAnotherHooker on 21 February 2018, 06:07:55 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 21 February 2018, 01:27:41 pm
Good morning

Hope you are safe and well? I want to be cheeky and ask for a invite to yours for a few hours on Friday? Chill and fuck I am horny as hell but skint. I can come in uniform if that will convince you haha.

Your RAF guy Mark xxxx

 ??? ::)
Omg I don?t know if he?s trying to wind you up or he really is that stupid! I?d go with the latter though as we all know there?s a huge misconception that sws are just so damn horny all the time that we?ll take what we can get! These idiots infuriate me!


This reminds me of a time when I worked for an escort agency & myself and another girl were booked to go to a house with 2 guys and when we got there we exchanged names and then asked for the cash and one of the guys turned to us and said, ?we?ve no cash but we know how horny you escorts are & we have alcohol, good music & we can hold a great conversation?, and the other girl and I looked at each other & just laughed! We then phoned our boss who was pissed off and she asked to speak to one of the guys and she gave him it tight and asked him why the fuck are you booking escorts when you?ve no cash, and she said that she had told him the price over the phone and they had agreed to it, the guy went red & ended up putting the phone down on her and we swiftly left whilst the guys looked on! I genuinely think they were stupid rather than just trying it on! Honestly the amount of clients that are so deluded is unbelievable!! If I was just a horny bitch then I wouldn?t charge, I?d just give it away!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 21 February 2018, 06:11:25 pm
I want to book you for 3 hours but I only have your 1 hour rate and the rest in 2 grams of charly  :FF

Me: I require my full fee in English sterling No way I can go to my bank and say hey here you go I want to deposit this gear in exchange of cash.

Seriously we do get some dense guys who contact us.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Meetingdiversity on 21 February 2018, 08:55:24 pm
I just had a call from an unknown number who said Hi baby. :) I hung up smiling glad that my life is much better now. Over the bright horizon idiots give me even more determination to keep following my heart leaving idiot clients down there. I always thought back then about escorting attracts many ruff necks who wouldn't be seen in broad daylight. As they wouldn't last long.  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Working lady on 22 February 2018, 02:40:28 am
   
 Seriously deluded or what            

From:   davidh189 (0) Profile  View All
Subject:   Proposition

Hi. I'm looking at seeing escorts again after a long break and was hoping to meet someone regularly. I do like the look of you and was thinking if you might be open to something that could be good for both of us?

Basically, I have a [a punting forum]unting account. It's genuine with a lot of reviews. I was thinking if you were interested in getting regular positive feedback/reviews on there from me then I would be happy to help out. All I would ask for in return is a little bit of a discounted rate which we could possibly discuss?
 

Safe to say this did not even merit a reply
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 22 February 2018, 08:00:02 am
 Text message  1 xx
Text message 2  xxx
Really why even bother !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 22 February 2018, 09:47:07 pm
Moron 1: Hi

He's sent me that almost daily for the past month.

Moron 2: U free to suck cock?

*Sighs*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 23 February 2018, 02:18:15 pm
This morning

"how much just to stand in your hall and wank while you watch"

 :o

I said how dare you, I am a high class courtesan  sorry no can do, bye.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lillys0 on 23 February 2018, 03:20:50 pm
Check out his profile it's a dick pic and he's a male escort  ::)
"Do you want to share content and do couples/moresomes bookings split it 50/50?? "
No .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 23 February 2018, 05:22:41 pm
Quote from: Justine on 23 February 2018, 02:18:15 pm
This morning

"how much just to stand in your hall and wank while you watch"

 :o

I said how dare you, I am a high class courtesan  sorry no can do, bye.

 :) :) :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 23 February 2018, 07:09:29 pm
I logged into aw this morning to find a message from last night saying "it is the 22nd now" Thanks for that, I wasn't aware!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GG on 24 February 2018, 06:26:28 am
Early morning prat: Hello miss I would like a 90 minute session of face sitting and oral on you.

A rather tired me: I would like a Bugatti Veyron but it doesn't mean it's going to happen, you however could try contacting someone who actually offers those services and you could well be on your way.

Early Morning Prat: Fuck off fat slag


Charming  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: foxylady on 25 February 2018, 09:05:11 pm
 I would like a Bugatti Veyron but it doesn't mean it's going to happen

Gina G.......absolutely brilliant, wet my pants!  don't even know wtf it is but sounds impressive!  some men are twats!  xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GG on 25 February 2018, 09:48:46 pm
Quote from: foxylady on 25 February 2018, 09:05:11 pm
I would like a Bugatti Veyron but it doesn't mean it's going to happen

Gina G.......absolutely brilliant, wet my pants!  don't even know wtf it is but sounds impressive!  some men are twats!  xxx

Its the worlds most expensive car lol over 3 million pounds  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 27 February 2018, 08:51:55 am
I've just had the most excessive long winded  e-mail request from some guy I have turned it down.


I was wondering if we could arrange a session with you in control dominating me?

I don't mean to sound like a script below, however i thought id include everything in regards to my interests to try and give you an insight into what turns me on.

Hopefully from this you can then take charge and dictate how the session goes and control it as you will be in charge.

What i would love would be for you to take control from the moment we meet. You order me to strip to ensure i am naked and vulnerable with you taking all of my clothes away and putting them into a bag. You then make it clear that unless i do as I'm told i wont get them back and i will be thrown out the door naked. This will ensure control is in your hands from the start and i will have to follow your instructions to the letter.

Maybe after the initial control being taken by you, you could explain to me that I'm your slave and i will do as you want or else. To maybe add further control / humiliation to this you could dress me up in a bra, panties and stockings? This would be even more humiliating being thrown out the door dressed like this if i do not follow orders?

I want you to be authoritative but also secretly delighted that you have your own plaything which you want to use for your pleasure. The fact that you get turned on by the power you have over the slave should come across, that you will use your slave for your pleasure (Whether its to lick you out, use to face sit, use to thrash with your whipping stick etc) means he is worth something to you, but at the same time you will throw him out the door naked if he doesn't agree to Anything you want.

You would take great joy out of humiliating me in any way so I need to really go out of my way to please you and do anything you want to avoid this from happening. I think once you initially have control over me (you fully dressed and me naked, without no clothes or dressed as a sissy as my Mistress has now taken them because me and everything i own is now her property) you will then have something / hold over me to ensure i do as you wish.

I would then love for the following activities to be included in the session:

- Tie up my balls

- Boot and foot worship (if you could have your toenails painted with red nail varnish that would be very sexy.)

- Water sports directly into the mouth (Maybe also fill up a glass with some to force me to drink later on in the session)

- Face slapping (repeatedly throughout the session to maintain control not letting me forget for one moment who is in control)

- Spanking (over your knee with my cock and / or balls squeezed in between your legs)

- Rimming (huge turn on and if verbal humiliation could be delivered while forcing me to do it that would be great and also multiple times throughout the session?)

- Strap-on (With a reasonably sized strap on (small to average))

- Sissy play (Dressing me up with a bra, panties and possibly stockings)

Could you let me know if you can cater for this request and how long you would
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 27 February 2018, 09:38:06 am
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 27 February 2018, 08:51:55 am
I've just had the most excessive long winded  e-mail request from some guy I have turned it down.


I was wondering if we could arrange a session with you in control dominating me?

I don't mean to sound like a script below, however i thought id include everything in regards to my interests to try and give you an insight into what turns me on.

Hopefully from this you can then take charge and dictate how the session goes and control it as you will be in charge.

What i would love would be for you to take control from the moment we meet. You order me to strip to ensure i am naked and vulnerable with you taking all of my clothes away and putting them into a bag. You then make it clear that unless i do as I'm told i wont get them back and i will be thrown out the door naked. This will ensure control is in your hands from the start and i will have to follow your instructions to the letter.

Maybe after the initial control being taken by you, you could explain to me that I'm your slave and i will do as you want or else. To maybe add further control / humiliation to this you could dress me up in a bra, panties and stockings? This would be even more humiliating being thrown out the door dressed like this if i do not follow orders?

I want you to be authoritative but also secretly delighted that you have your own plaything which you want to use for your pleasure. The fact that you get turned on by the power you have over the slave should come across, that you will use your slave for your pleasure (Whether its to lick you out, use to face sit, use to thrash with your whipping stick etc) means he is worth something to you, but at the same time you will throw him out the door naked if he doesn't agree to Anything you want.

You would take great joy out of humiliating me in any way so I need to really go out of my way to please you and do anything you want to avoid this from happening. I think once you initially have control over me (you fully dressed and me naked, without no clothes or dressed as a sissy as my Mistress has now taken them because me and everything i own is now her property) you will then have something / hold over me to ensure i do as you wish.

I would then love for the following activities to be included in the session:

- Tie up my balls

- Boot and foot worship (if you could have your toenails painted with red nail varnish that would be very sexy.)

- Water sports directly into the mouth (Maybe also fill up a glass with some to force me to drink later on in the session)

- Face slapping (repeatedly throughout the session to maintain control not letting me forget for one moment who is in control)

- Spanking (over your knee with my cock and / or balls squeezed in between your legs)

- Rimming (huge turn on and if verbal humiliation could be delivered while forcing me to do it that would be great and also multiple times throughout the session?)

- Strap-on (With a reasonably sized strap on (small to average))

- Sissy play (Dressing me up with a bra, panties and possibly stockings)

Could you let me know if you can cater for this request and how long you would

I had this too, hard to believe it's copied and pasted isn't it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 27 February 2018, 09:47:26 am
Sugar/Chocoholic

I have had something very similar and several times from more than one individual.  I ignore and do not reply to these but have been tempted to say just cut out the middle man and please arrive at my door naked and I shall not let you in.  ::)

Yes these are copy and paste jobs. The men who write these will be getting replies from sps who think it could be genuine and that is all these men want.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 27 February 2018, 10:02:28 am
I did reply with.
I'm sorry your requests are excessive .
I then blocked him with 0 feedback !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 27 February 2018, 10:39:52 am
I had this the other day, it's a corker...

Hi sexy babes

Recently joined Adultwork .
Just seen your sexy pictures babeee. Wow you are a very sexy lady mmmmm.

I'm in the area for a few months on work am and looking to meet a sexy lady for regular naughty sex sessions.

I can come to you or we can meet at my hotel. Looking forward to getting hot n dirty with you mmm. You make my cock soooo hard. Mmm

PS. Had a few naughty wanks over your sexy picture, need the real thing Babeee.

Just uploaded my pictures to profle page.


Sadly I only just realised he also sent me this in November!!! What are they thinking, really? This reads really badly but it's ten times worse if you read it out loud...I did  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GG on 27 February 2018, 01:20:34 pm
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 27 February 2018, 10:39:52 am
I had this the other day, it's a corker...

Hi sexy babes

Recently joined Adultwork .
Just seen your sexy pictures babeee. Wow you are a very sexy lady mmmmm.

I'm in the area for a few months on work am and looking to meet a sexy lady for regular naughty sex sessions.

I can come to you or we can meet at my hotel. Looking forward to getting hot n dirty with you mmm. You make my cock soooo hard. Mmm

PS. Had a few naughty wanks over your sexy picture, need the real thing Babeee.

Just uploaded my pictures to profle page.


Sadly I only just realised he also sent me this in November!!! What are they thinking, really? This reads really badly but it's ten times worse if you read it out loud...I did  :D
I can't find the crying eyes emoji but this brought tears to my eyes...what are these guys thinking. I'm fairly amiable but as soon as someone calls me Babee/BB/Baby/Babs it's a definately No No Not a chance lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 27 February 2018, 01:29:09 pm
Quote from: gina g on 27 February 2018, 01:20:34 pm
I can't find the crying eyes emoji but this brought tears to my eyes...what are these guys thinking. I'm fairly amiable but as soon as someone calls me Babee/BB/Baby/Babs it's a definately No No Not a chance lol

The funny thing was he did have pics with an enormously HUGE photoshopped dick, then one of him with his dick in his hand, still large but not freakishly so. I emailed him back to say "Sorry your dick is too big babee..." he responded perfectly seriously with "How do you know babee?" at which point I could not continue further  :D :D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Christinex on 27 February 2018, 02:09:42 pm
Text: Fuck and suck now?  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GG on 27 February 2018, 02:29:26 pm
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 27 February 2018, 01:29:09 pm
The funny thing was he did have pics with an enormously HUGE photoshopped dick, then one of him with his dick in his hand, still large but not freakishly so. I emailed him back to say "Sorry your dick is too big babee..." he responded perfectly seriously with "How do you know babee?" at which point I could not continue further  :D :D :D
;D ;D ;D I noticed a guy in the to let section of AW, his advert was worded ok'ish but the profile pic was him with his boxers pulled down a little and his cock in his hand  :o Does he seriously think that would make someone want to use his place???

Definate big NO NO is using a cock shot for your rental advert  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 27 February 2018, 02:35:48 pm
Quote from: gina g on 27 February 2018, 02:29:26 pm
;D ;D ;D I noticed a guy in the to let section of AW, his advert was worded ok'ish but the profile pic was him with his boxers pulled down a little and his cock in his hand  :o Does he seriously think that would make someone want to use his place???

Definate big NO NO is using a cock shot for your rental advert  :P

Unless you are on a gay hookup site I can't imagine using a cock shot being a good advert for anything... I swear guys think we are as tempted by their cocks as they are by our sexy offerings, no guys, it's the ????? and I really DO NOT need to see your dick, I know you have one!

 :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GG on 27 February 2018, 02:37:42 pm
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 27 February 2018, 02:35:48 pm
Unless you are on a gay hookup site I can't imagine using a cock shot being a good advert for anything... I swear guys think we are as tempted by their cocks as they are by our sexy offerings, no guys, it's the ????? and I really DO NOT need to see your dick, I know you have one!

 :D

Nothings going on but the rent  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 27 February 2018, 03:38:58 pm
Quote from: Christinex on 27 February 2018, 02:09:42 pm
Text: Fuck and suck now?  ;D

OK I'd ignore but be so tempted to tb saying Fuck off now?
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kitty_69 on 27 February 2018, 05:02:46 pm
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 27 February 2018, 10:39:52 am
I had this the other day, it's a corker...

Hi sexy babes

Recently joined Adultwork .
Just seen your sexy pictures babeee. Wow you are a very sexy lady mmmmm.

I'm in the area for a few months on work am and looking to meet a sexy lady for regular naughty sex sessions.

I can come to you or we can meet at my hotel. Looking forward to getting hot n dirty with you mmm. You make my cock soooo hard. Mmm

PS. Had a few naughty wanks over your sexy picture, need the real thing Babeee.

Just uploaded my pictures to profle page.


Sadly I only just realised he also sent me this in November!!! What are they thinking, really? This reads really badly but it's ten times worse if you read it out loud...I did  :D
 


i got this one a couple a days ago 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 27 February 2018, 06:30:42 pm
I've had the "babee" one as well.

I've also had what sounds like him or his twin illiterate brother texting me over and over again, saying how he can't wait to get "naughty" with me, lots of "mmmm"s and little punctuation!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Christinex on 27 February 2018, 08:14:42 pm
Time to take off my number from AW.

Him: Hi how are you
I just seen your profile on adult work thought id message you and tell you a little bit about myself
My name is a*** i live in (wrong spelling his town name) i have a girl friend but not getting enough action and attention in the bed room i looked at your profile and you look incredible just after a completely wild evening with you love to just have a complete porn star experience im not into anything up my arse lol but i whould like to try anal on you and do watersports just to see what it is like thank you for your time x

Me: Hi i dont think you seen my profile. I dont offer anal!! Have a great day

Him: Sorry I missed read your profile im a idiot lol anal aside can we do the rest of that you just look that incredible

Just blocked him
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GG on 27 February 2018, 11:33:51 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 27 February 2018, 06:30:42 pm
I've had the "babee" one as well.

I've also had what sounds like him or his twin illiterate brother texting me over and over again, saying how he can't wait to get "naughty" with me, lots of "mmmm"s and little punctuation!
Yuk!! I hate it can you imagine how nauseating they would be in the room x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pussywillow on 28 February 2018, 08:49:02 am
Quite the strangest message I have ever had. This twat has three profiles. Obviously a time waster- but it least it made me laugh !

hello there hun
firstly I would like to book you for an outcall to my hotel this week as what I want to do is rather strange. My name is Paul im 31 years old and what I would like to try is a fantasy that I have thought about a lot about doing. So I will buy the outfit if you don't have below. So i would meet you on the day and buy your outfit from the shop this will consist of a smart dress or top and blouse that you would normally buy for going out something I would buy that you will want to wear again and again. I would need you to have a swimsuit or bikini set

so for the session after we have bought all the items we go to the hotel which I have set up for my strange event. basically booking will be for 2 hrs the first is a game the second part is sex so for the first part we have to decide what you are going to wear for the game either the nice clothes I have bought you or a swimsuit. the way we will decide is quite simply I have to guess the colour of your knickers you have been wearing if I guess correct you wear the nice outfit if im wrong you wear the swimsuit meaning your nice outfit stands more of a chance you can keep it clean and wear it whenever you feel.

once we have decided this you will change into which item we decided we then go into the bathroom for the games so the reason I am paying double your rate is it could get messy and I will gladly send you a deposit upfront. in the bathroom will be a chair besides the bath and the bath will be about half full of custard (20 cartons of 1lt custard to be exact) which a cheesecake and a jug of thick porridge so quite simply we play a game there will be 20 envelopes in the bath tub we play a game of 21 cards where you need to score a minimum of 16 and not go over 21 if you go bust or not go over your minimum of 16 you had to pick an envelope out of the bath. we play this 5 times the good thing for you is only 3 out of the 20 of the envelopes have forfeits and you may not have to pick one at all if you win each round of the card game.

so the forfeits are cake sit meaning you will have to sit on a cheesecake

number 2 you will have the back of your swimsuit/knickers filled with the thick poridge

and finally number 3 means you have to sit in the bath wearing your garments and a jug will be poured on you from head height for good measure.

with these you will have 1 final card game if you get the forfeit so again you can avoid it. all in all you have a good chance of not getting messy which is the thrill for me not the messing you which is still a thrill I will be completely honest through out

after this if you got messy you will clean up and then come out wearing some nice dress or office wear with underwear set with lots of kissing and sex if you moan you may have to pick an evelope after lol also I dislike thongs and would prefer big knickers if you have them.
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 28 February 2018, 10:21:13 am
Pussywillow

That has made my day, best one for some time! 

While we know it will never happen it occurs to me that if in the wild realms of fantasy it took place, while you are sitting in that bath and covered in custard or porridge he could slip out and take your bag and fee and do a runner.  You would be unlikely to chase after him

I knew a wg who claimed she had a hotel booking with a man who poured family size tubs of strawberry yoghurt all over her and ruined the carpet and bedding.  I do feel sorry for room maids who have to clear up after these people.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 28 February 2018, 11:22:50 am
Quote from: pussywillow on 28 February 2018, 08:49:02 am
Quite the strangest message I have ever had. This twat has three profiles. Obviously a time waster- but it least it made me laugh !

hello there hun
firstly I would like to book you for an outcall to my hotel this week as what I want to do is rather strange. My name is Paul im 31 years old and what I would like to try is a fantasy that I have thought about a lot about doing. So I will buy the outfit if you don't have below. So i would meet you on the day and buy your outfit from the shop this will consist of a smart dress or top and blouse that you would normally buy for going out something I would buy that you will want to wear again and again. I would need you to have a swimsuit or bikini set

so for the session after we have bought all the items we go to the hotel which I have set up for my strange event. basically booking will be for 2 hrs the first is a game the second part is sex so for the first part we have to decide what you are going to wear for the game either the nice clothes I have bought you or a swimsuit. the way we will decide is quite simply I have to guess the colour of your knickers you have been wearing if I guess correct you wear the nice outfit if im wrong you wear the swimsuit meaning your nice outfit stands more of a chance you can keep it clean and wear it whenever you feel.

once we have decided this you will change into which item we decided we then go into the bathroom for the games so the reason I am paying double your rate is it could get messy and I will gladly send you a deposit upfront. in the bathroom will be a chair besides the bath and the bath will be about half full of custard (20 cartons of 1lt custard to be exact) which a cheesecake and a jug of thick porridge so quite simply we play a game there will be 20 envelopes in the bath tub we play a game of 21 cards where you need to score a minimum of 16 and not go over 21 if you go bust or not go over your minimum of 16 you had to pick an envelope out of the bath. we play this 5 times the good thing for you is only 3 out of the 20 of the envelopes have forfeits and you may not have to pick one at all if you win each round of the card game.

so the forfeits are cake sit meaning you will have to sit on a cheesecake

number 2 you will have the back of your swimsuit/knickers filled with the thick poridge

and finally number 3 means you have to sit in the bath wearing your garments and a jug will be poured on you from head height for good measure.

with these you will have 1 final card game if you get the forfeit so again you can avoid it. all in all you have a good chance of not getting messy which is the thrill for me not the messing you which is still a thrill I will be completely honest through out

after this if you got messy you will clean up and then come out wearing some nice dress or office wear with underwear set with lots of kissing and sex if you moan you may have to pick an evelope after lol also I dislike thongs and would prefer big knickers if you have them.
Pussywillow I've had this one I remember it. Too 
I doubt anyone would go ahead with his requests !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Christinex on 28 February 2018, 11:29:53 am
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 28 February 2018, 11:22:50 am
Pussywillow I've had this one I remember it. Too 
I doubt anyone would go ahead with his requests !!

I had this one too when touring. I have stopped reading in the middle of this bollocks.
Even if booking would go through I wouldn't remember his scenario. He would have to pay me for an extra hour to remember what he wants. Yes I am thick ;D and too busy to remember complicated requests.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kitty_69 on 28 February 2018, 07:48:47 pm
Quote from: pussywillow on 28 February 2018, 08:49:02 am
Quite the strangest message I have ever had. This twat has three profiles. Obviously a time waster- but it least it made me laugh !

hello there hun
firstly I would like to book you for an outcall to my hotel this week as what I want to do is rather strange. My name is Paul im 31 years old and what I would like to try is a fantasy that I have thought about a lot about doing. So I will buy the outfit if you don't have below. So i would meet you on the day and buy your outfit from the shop this will consist of a smart dress or top and blouse that you would normally buy for going out something I would buy that you will want to wear again and again. I would need you to have a swimsuit or bikini set

so for the session after we have bought all the items we go to the hotel which I have set up for my strange event. basically booking will be for 2 hrs the first is a game the second part is sex so for the first part we have to decide what you are going to wear for the game either the nice clothes I have bought you or a swimsuit. the way we will decide is quite simply I have to guess the colour of your knickers you have been wearing if I guess correct you wear the nice outfit if im wrong you wear the swimsuit meaning your nice outfit stands more of a chance you can keep it clean and wear it whenever you feel.

once we have decided this you will change into which item we decided we then go into the bathroom for the games so the reason I am paying double your rate is it could get messy and I will gladly send you a deposit upfront. in the bathroom will be a chair besides the bath and the bath will be about half full of custard (20 cartons of 1lt custard to be exact) which a cheesecake and a jug of thick porridge so quite simply we play a game there will be 20 envelopes in the bath tub we play a game of 21 cards where you need to score a minimum of 16 and not go over 21 if you go bust or not go over your minimum of 16 you had to pick an envelope out of the bath. we play this 5 times the good thing for you is only 3 out of the 20 of the envelopes have forfeits and you may not have to pick one at all if you win each round of the card game.

so the forfeits are cake sit meaning you will have to sit on a cheesecake

number 2 you will have the back of your swimsuit/knickers filled with the thick poridge

and finally number 3 means you have to sit in the bath wearing your garments and a jug will be poured on you from head height for good measure.

with these you will have 1 final card game if you get the forfeit so again you can avoid it. all in all you have a good chance of not getting messy which is the thrill for me not the messing you which is still a thrill I will be completely honest through out

after this if you got messy you will clean up and then come out wearing some nice dress or office wear with underwear set with lots of kissing and sex if you moan you may have to pick an evelope after lol also I dislike thongs and would prefer big knickers if you have them.
 


yep i have had this one 2
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kitty_69 on 28 February 2018, 09:33:54 pm
new one today well new to me  ::)
from someone with 6 AW accounts
4 Offering Services
2 Seeking Services


mistress - let me serve you as your slave film abuse me and sell the content for your gain - happy to bring id sign model release forms etc. use me on web cam films photo shoots up to you.

I would also be happy for you to have me set up a sub / slave / sissy account for you to control, if you let me know how you would like it set out and i will do this - i will do anything and all earnings will go to you- i am your sub slut slave to own, film and do anything you wish - use me as a slut to abuse while you are on webcam or in films making content for you to make money from it - I will do anything to bring in cash for you.

my email if it is easier is j*************8@gmail.com

let me start for you asap

your slave j
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Xkandpx on 28 February 2018, 11:09:41 pm
Quote from: kitty_69 on 28 February 2018, 09:33:54 pm
new one today well new to me  ::)
from someone with 6 AW accounts
4 Offering Services
2 Seeking Services


mistress - let me serve you as your slave film abuse me and sell the content for your gain - happy to bring id sign model release forms etc. use me on web cam films photo shoots up to you.

I would also be happy for you to have me set up a sub / slave / sissy account for you to control, if you let me know how you would like it set out and i will do this - i will do anything and all earnings will go to you- i am your sub slut slave to own, film and do anything you wish - use me as a slut to abuse while you are on webcam or in films making content for you to make money from it - I will do anything to bring in cash for you.

my email if it is easier is j*************8@gmail.com

let me start for you asap

your slave j

Had him too..told him to empty his bank account for me by buying amazon vouchers. He replied saying he never buys anything online (i was bored. Somtimes these guys will amuze me between bookings)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 03 March 2018, 01:42:04 am
You fancy outcall.

Real Sub takes it up her arse and takes a good face full of spunk!

;)

I don't work weekends, see new clients for sub bookings, do outcalls or offer anal. I'm so sad I'm not a real sub now.  :'(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: honeymoonbarbie on 03 March 2018, 08:19:53 am
Email received at 03:51AM:

Call me on x I?ll pay cash give me rates

I wonder how far he gets in life talking to people like that.

I think the only cash he should be paying is for a taxi so he doesn?t have to stumble home from the pub.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hollyrose5 on 03 March 2018, 12:04:05 pm
'Hi, I know it might sound like a strange request but do you offer hardsports? All I want you to do is poo in my mouth. That's it. Willing to pay a premium for this and looking for regular meets.

Thanks. Look forward to hearing from you'


I had no words ??? ??? ??? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 03 March 2018, 04:41:12 pm
Quote from: hollyrose5 on 03 March 2018, 12:04:05 pm
'Hi, I know it might sound like a strange request but do you offer hardsports? All I want you to do is poo in my mouth. That's it. Willing to pay a premium for this and looking for regular meets.

Thanks. Look forward to hearing from you'


I had no words ??? ??? ??? ???

 :-X :-X :-X
Yuk x 10
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 04 March 2018, 02:27:47 pm
Oldie but goodie classic text message:   'Hi'

 Never stops to annoy :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 04 March 2018, 02:34:17 pm
I woke up to some missed texts in the middle of the night. The best was at 4am "you in or out"?

Assuming they meant am I in call or out call, they obviously had a struggle to read the writing on my profile.  It must be so difficult while throwing up in the club bogs. 

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 04 March 2018, 05:34:49 pm
Quote from: Justine on 04 March 2018, 02:34:17 pm
I woke up to some missed texts in the middle of the night. The best was at 4am "you in or out"?

Assuming they meant am I in call or out call, they obviously had a struggle to read the writing on my profile.  It must be so difficult while throwing up in the club bogs.

In all fairness Justine they were probably staggering down the street eating a soggy kebab by that time, you missed out really, they could have just popped in!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 05 March 2018, 04:09:17 pm
A client I'd never met or contacted before was texting about a specific slot tonight, I told him to call to book which he said he would. Unfortunately for him someone else called and booked that slot, so I texted him to apologise and say I couldn't do it anymore. He then went on to have a go at me for not reserving it for him  :FF

So many guys want to arrange over text and say they will call and never do. If I reserved bookings like this I'd lose out all the time!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Worried93 on 05 March 2018, 05:34:28 pm
I got a text that just said "quote?"

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 05 March 2018, 05:40:04 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 05 March 2018, 04:09:17 pm
A client I'd never met or contacted before was texting about a specific slot tonight, I told him to call to book which he said he would. Unfortunately for him someone else called and booked that slot, so I texted him to apologise and say I couldn't do it anymore. He then went on to have a go at me for not reserving it for him  :FF

So many guys want to arrange over text and say they will call and never do. If I reserved bookings like this I'd lose out all the time!

I make it clear there is no booking until they call half hour before. Then if they don't, nothing lost. His fault, fuckwit!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 05 March 2018, 06:00:41 pm
Quote from: Worried93 on 05 March 2018, 05:34:28 pm
I got a text that just said "quote?"
i'd have been tempted to send him a quote by Winston Churchill or something. :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 05 March 2018, 06:11:02 pm
Quote from: Christinex on 28 February 2018, 11:29:53 am
I had this one too when touring. I have stopped reading in the middle of this bollocks.
Even if booking would go through I wouldn't remember his scenario. He would have to pay me for an extra hour to remember what he wants. Yes I am thick ;D and too busy to remember complicated requests.

 No your not thick but were not trained actresses expecting to learn scripts
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 05 March 2018, 08:25:15 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 05 March 2018, 10:11:24 pm
Tonight's special wanted a mistress and to meet at a studio for a drink and chat !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Worried93 on 05 March 2018, 10:26:42 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 05 March 2018, 06:00:41 pm
i'd have been tempted to send him a quote by Winston Churchill or something. :)

Wish I had thought of that!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 06 March 2018, 08:42:59 am
Quote from: pussywillow on 28 February 2018, 08:49:02 am
Quite the strangest message I have ever had. This twat has three profiles. Obviously a time waster- but it least it made me laugh !



 
I had same message months ago 😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 06 March 2018, 08:49:33 am
Quote from: 80s synthetic on 04 March 2018, 02:27:47 pm
Oldie but goodie classic text message:   'Hi'

 Never stops to annoy :FF
Depending on my mood I will occasionally reply with "Hi?" or "Yes would you like some information, or are you just randomly saying hi?" But if I dont then get a politely detailed message asking if Im available on x day in y place then they get blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 06 March 2018, 11:27:37 am
Quote from: Caledonia on 06 March 2018, 08:49:33 am
Depending on my mood I will occasionally reply with "Hi?" or "Yes would you like some information, or are you just randomly saying hi?" But if I dont then get a politely detailed message asking if Im available on x day in y place then they get blocked.

I always reply  with BYE  if I am in the mood to reply. then they text back with Bye too. I block instantly.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 06 March 2018, 01:46:11 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 05 March 2018, 06:11:02 pm
No your not thick but were not trained actresses expecting to learn scripts

I beg to differ  ;D ;D ;D

Fuck the script part though...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 06 March 2018, 02:26:34 pm
Quote from: DynamiteDoll on 06 March 2018, 11:27:37 am
I always reply  with BYE  if I am in the mood to reply. then they text back with Bye too. I block instantly.

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: honeymoonbarbie on 06 March 2018, 03:20:32 pm
Give some people enough rope and they certainly hang themselves.

Him: Are you available now?
Me: Unfortunately not, earliest availability would be around 5PM.
Him: Okay lets say 5
Me: Sure, how long would you like to book for?
Him: How much is an hour with x and y service?
Me: *tells him my hour rate*
Him: Jesus, you must be the dogs b*llocks to get away with that, I?ll stick to half an hour
Me: Right, well, would you like me to book you in for half an hour and send you the address?
Him: I think I?ll decide when I get there, quick question, where are you from?
Me: London, if you?d like a booking you have to confirm how long you?d like to stay so I can arrange other appointments.
Him: Oh yes, 30 minutes then, it?s nice to see an English girl around here with all the *insert industry stereotypes of EE agencies and SPs*, send me the road name and the postcode and I?ll see you at 5. *disconnects call*

Three strikes and you're out, bud.

Why feel the need to bark orders at me to do things I already told you I was going to do? Think it?s probably best he sticks to ?foreigners? who may excuse his harsh tone and mannerisms but I certainly see straight through the strongarming.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 06 March 2018, 05:34:45 pm
Quote from: honeymoonbarbie on 06 March 2018, 03:20:32 pm
Why feel the need to bark orders at me to do things I already told you I was going to do? Think it?s probably best he sticks to ?foreigners? who may excuse his harsh tone and mannerisms but I certainly see straight through the strongarming.

We foreigners don't want him either  :D
He can go, buy himself a box of Kleenex and contemplate the meaning of 'self love' with his right hand   ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 06 March 2018, 06:11:53 pm
Him: Your profile says natural pubic hair, I am just confirming if this is true as other times I have turned up and it isn't.
Me- Yes, I am natural. (While thinking wait for the silly questions to start due to aw name...you know the "Big cock, pussybanger, tightpussy", etc type.)
Him: Okay, any chance of a pic if I send my mob number.
Me: There are pics in my PG.

Don't think I am going to hear back!

Another one asks when I am available so I tell him and he responds with "ok". That's it. And then I find another message four hours later asking to see me, sent half an hour after I said I would be available from. Why not ask in the bloody first place, I don't sit on AW all day!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 06 March 2018, 06:39:46 pm
Hannah
If it wasn't natural pubic hair what was it lol !!
A mirkin perhaps  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 06 March 2018, 08:26:55 pm
When I get a "Hi" I usually reply "Lo".

Then they send "?" and I reply "!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 07 March 2018, 08:32:18 am
Quote from: 80s synthetic on 06 March 2018, 05:34:45 pm
We foreigners don't want him either  :D
He can go, buy himself a box of Kleenex and contemplate the meaning of 'self love' with his right hand   ::)

😁😁😁😁😁
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 07 March 2018, 09:39:37 am
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 06 March 2018, 08:26:55 pm
When I get a "Hi" I usually reply "Lo".

Then they send "?" and I reply "!"

Mostly I ignore but if feeling mischievous I may reply with similar.  Getting a "hey" I can respond "ho" which usually ends it but if they see that as a sign to make further comments then ignore it has to be!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 07 March 2018, 05:46:50 pm
Idiot on phone: How much is half an hour?
Me: ?80
Idiot: Thats a bit steep
Me: No its about average
Him: How much is 15 minutes?
Me: ?60
Idiot: Oh sorry Ive only got ?30.
 :FF  :F.  :FF  :F.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 07 March 2018, 05:48:00 pm
Quote from: Caledonia on 07 March 2018, 05:46:50 pm
Idiot on phone: How much is half an hour?
Me: ?80
Idiot: Thats a bit steep
Me: No its about average
Him: How much is 15 minutes?
Me: ?60
Idiot: Oh sorry Ive only got ?30.
 :FF  :F.  :FF  :F.  :FF

Where do these jokers come from really  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 07 March 2018, 06:18:58 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 07 March 2018, 05:48:00 pm
Where do these jokers come from really  :FF

I know  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: honeymoonbarbie on 07 March 2018, 07:00:26 pm
Him: Are you free for an outcall?
Me: It would depend on where you?re located, could you send over a postcode and indicate what time you?d like to book and how long for?
Him: I?m at X hotel.

What part of the information I requested did he actually supply  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 07 March 2018, 09:15:05 pm
Text from Knob 'Where can you do an outcall? Cardiff?' Knob omits the hello, please, thank you etc.

Knob receives autoresponse that says CALL to book.

Knob texts back 'Are you available now?'  :FF

Tumbleweed

Knob calls! I answer, Knob hangs straight up. Mum probably walked in and caught him wanking.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 08 March 2018, 12:22:17 am
Caller "can you spank my bottom hard ?"
Are you making a booking for today ?
Caller "what Are your prices ?
Did you not see those details on my profile ?
Caller " will you do this for me?, can I ask  when are you free "
I can see you from midday.
Caller" silent then " spank me "
I just cut the call  ::)
Wish I could spank him I'd do it too hard
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 08 March 2018, 07:54:01 am
When they email you 'put something sexy on' WTF all my pictures show me wearing constantly sexy outfits there is no need to spell out the obvious!  Plus this guy has seen me before so he must know I satisfy him.

Do they think we would otherwise wear something from the local Army & Navy store??!

Or when they say 'do you wear high heels' can't they see in the photos that is exactly what we all wear?  Do they expect us to greet them at the door in dungarees and wellies on or what is it with these comments?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 08 March 2018, 01:54:44 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 08 March 2018, 12:22:17 am
Caller "can you spank my bottom hard ?"
Are you making a booking for today ?
Caller "what Are your prices ?
Did you not see those details on my profile ?
Caller " will you do this for me?, can I ask  when are you free "
I can see you from midday.
Caller" silent then " spank me "
I just cut the call  ::)
Wish I could spank him I'd do it too hard

Sounds odd but I never trust anyone that calls it a 'bottom' and not an arse....freaks me out!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 08 March 2018, 10:08:15 pm
He sounded so posh 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LittleM on 09 March 2018, 12:18:26 am
Quote from: Lushblossom on 08 March 2018, 07:54:01 am
When they email you 'put something sexy on' WTF all my pictures show me wearing constantly sexy outfits there is no need to spell out the obvious!  Plus this guy has seen me before so he must know I satisfy him.

Do they think we would otherwise wear something from the local Army & Navy store??!

Or when they say 'do you wear high heels' can't they see in the photos that is exactly what we all wear?  Do they expect us to greet them at the door in dungarees and wellies on or what is it with these comments?!

Tbf, I only wear heels when requested - otherwise I wear flats or cute converse because I walk like a duck in heels! Though, as my name suggests, I'm quite small & quite a lot of my clients book me because they like how little I am.

I have one client who is cool with me turning up in trackies & a teeshirt! He's great  ;D !

But otherwise, I do always make an effort to turn up nicely presented etc. so I feel ya when they're like "make sure you look sexy". Babe, I'm the EPITOME of sexy  8), lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 09 March 2018, 01:04:11 pm
Idiot 1: Hi

I've just seen your profile and think I really need to see you :)
Do you see virgins? I'm a virgin but just very into getting dominated at the first time so someone can teach me the 'ropes' :) pardon the pun!
I think I'll want to explore stuff like Cleaning, foot worship, orgasm control, kissing, denial/ruined(If don't deserve a real one!) bondage etc! Anything what makes you happy or want to try on someone.


My profile is focused on offering submissive services and clearly states I don't offer femdom. Along with 3 accounts and almost 1,000 messages sent with no bookings made combined I think I will pass on this lovely offer! Another for the delete and block.

Idiot 2: Do you do any services for ?30
Me- My rates are clearly listed on my profile.
Never heard back surprisingly.

Idiot 3: U available today
Not something I would usually answer but it's quiet so decided to while wondering how difficult it is to say hello or spell you
Him: Can I book 30 minutes at 3
Me- Sure, sends details.
Him: Do u offer full gfe kissing hugging sex
Me- Inwardly sighing-yes.
Him- Do u wear tights
Me- All the info you need can be found on my profile.
Silence.

Somehow I don't think he is going to show!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Christinex on 09 March 2018, 02:53:48 pm
Looser: Hello there hun, do you sell your panties? Xx
Me: yes
Looser: How much sexy ? Xx
Me: 15
Looser: Was hoping to pay a tenner and collect them x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 09 March 2018, 03:11:14 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 09 March 2018, 01:04:11 pm

Idiot 2: Do you do any services for ?30


I sometimes wish I would get an enquiry like this. I have my answer ready. "yes for ?30 you can come in, shake my hand and then feel the hem of my long skirt, then go straight back out again"

Not sure it is ever going to happen  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 09 March 2018, 03:54:06 pm
Quote from: Justine on 09 March 2018, 03:11:14 pm
I sometimes wish I would get an enquiry like this. I have my answer ready. "yes for ?30 you can come in, shake my hand and then feel the hem of my long skirt, then go straight back out again"

Not sure it is ever going to happen  ::)

I had some tosser expecting 15 minutes for 20 yesterday!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 09 March 2018, 04:24:42 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 09 March 2018, 01:04:11 pm
Idiot 1: Hi

I've just seen your profile and think I really need to see you :)
Do you see virgins? I'm a virgin but just very into getting dominated at the first time so someone can teach me the 'ropes' :) pardon the pun!
I think I'll want to explore stuff like Cleaning, foot worship, orgasm control, kissing, denial/ruined(If don't deserve a real one!) bondage etc! Anything what makes you happy or want to try on someone.


My profile is focused on offering submissive services and clearly states I don't offer femdom. Along with 3 accounts and almost 1,000 messages sent with no bookings made combined I think I will pass on this lovely offer! Another for the delete and block.

Idiot 2: Do you do any services for ?30
Me- My rates are clearly listed on my profile.
Never heard back surprisingly.

Idiot 3: U available today
Not something I would usually answer but it's quiet so decided to while wondering how difficult it is to say hello or spell you
Him: Can I book 30 minutes at 3
Me- Sure, sends details.
Him: Do u offer full gfe kissing hugging sex
Me- Inwardly sighing-yes.
Him- Do u wear tights
Me- All the info you need can be found on my profile.
Silence.

Somehow I don't think he is going to show!  :FF

Knowing this is a joker I'd love to send a message  your flight with BA is confirmed for 10.03.18 leaving Gatwick south terminal 15.45 arriving Caoetown 23.30  Lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Funkymonkey on 10 March 2018, 03:20:45 pm
Can I face fuck you and cum down your throat? ?40 for 15 mins

Me: ew

Him: take that as a no? I thought you were up for anything

Me: if you pay my rates

Him: just cim for ?40?

I don?t even do 15 mins!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarastar1 on 10 March 2018, 04:35:29 pm
Had this gem in my AW inbox last week.....


Hey,

How are you?

Im new to this, so apollogies if this is a bit different!

I was wondering if were free one afternoon next week?

I've always had this fantasy about having my hair shaved with clippers by a hot woman.
I'd love it to be a roleplay where you are my boss and you tell me I'm looking scruffy. You sit me down and run your hands through my longish hair and tell me you know what you want to do me. You go next door and bring back the set of clipppers. You are assertive yet sort of gentle and you give me a number 2 all over. As you shear off my hair, you put my head in your tits and touch me suggestivly. Each mow of the clippers you alternate quick or slow and suggestivley stand their with them sometimes. You also talk about when you are cutting my hair, how you are thinking of getting a short bob to look more professional. (I would love it if I could take you to the hairdresser to actually get it cut or even cut all the length off myself before you go, but I know that is a lot to ask). Then you blow my mind with an incredible blow job.

If I brought some clippers along, would you do this for me?

I would love you to wear a black leather jacket with tight blue jeans and heels or long boots, or, a leather knee length pencil skirt/leather trousers, heels and a nice top. Would love it if you also wore glasses.

If you have all these outfits, could you have them all and catwalk them for me?

Would love to take you to the hairdresser (or cut off the length myself), so I could have fun with you with long and short hair.
Would you do all this? Would fufil a huge fantasy for me.

Thanks :)
Phil x


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 10 March 2018, 06:55:56 pm
Sara did you  reply ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 10 March 2018, 09:08:40 pm
That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarastar1 on 10 March 2018, 09:14:24 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 10 March 2018, 06:55:56 pm
Sara did you  reply ?

I ?politely? (lol) informed him that his needs were far too extreme for myself and possibly the majority of escorts! Also I told him that he hadn?t even bothered to read my profile quite clearly as if he did he would be aware I was a GFE.

I assume he was on a copy and paste mission that day......and as for his claims he is new to the punting scene he has been registered on AW since August last year lol

Quote from: CurlsnCurves on 10 March 2018, 09:08:40 pm
That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!!!

Yes I know!!!! I was in a right mood that day and when I read that I was like WTF!!!!

Aside from the hair cutting bollocks what really got me was he was expecting a ?catwalk? parade of various different outfits.

I?d be curious if he approached anyone else. He has ?0? feedback and the whole monologue reeks of a fantasist behind a keyboard lol


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jo-jo on 10 March 2018, 11:13:06 pm
Client calls with a booking enquiry, I answer all his questions.

He's happy to go ahead with the booking. Schedule a time etc and go through confirmation procedure etc

"Oh wait," he says, "do you smoke?" To which I reply to the negative.

"But will you smoke for me?"

Uhmmm  ???...Let me think about that.... sorry, its a definite and absolute No.  ::)

It has been a day full of TWs. :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 11 March 2018, 02:10:40 pm
Quote from: jo-jo on 10 March 2018, 11:13:06 pm
Client calls with a booking enquiry, I answer all his questions.

He's happy to go ahead with the booking. Schedule a time etc and go through confirmation procedure etc

"Oh wait," he says, "do you smoke?" To which I reply to the negative.

"But will you smoke for me?"

Uhmmm  ???...Let me think about that.... sorry, its a definite and absolute No.  ::)

It has been a day full of TWs. :(

Perhaps the fuckwit should have led with that...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 11 March 2018, 10:14:07 pm
I am sure this has been doing the rounds on AW.


hello baby girl

how are you???
hows life treating you????

i would love to work with you for free i will get u customers
we can do videos and photos shoot together baby girl
i will be ya bitch and slave
i will do everything and anything with you
we can try new things with me baby girl
i will be support and helpful in ya life

i have a new way of making money i have the best ideas to make money
call me now 07384056** jackson

i am getting a new place in east london
you can work from my place baby girl
you can stay with me as long you want
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 11 March 2018, 10:56:43 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 11 March 2018, 11:57:23 pm
Well he never offered to me my slave ... did offer to share his flat  with me though  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 12 March 2018, 12:03:15 am
Hi my number ***

Okay, and I am meant to do what with that?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 12 March 2018, 12:12:24 am
Oh dear that Jackson knobtwat sends a ton of copy & paste messages, he has another one he sends where he offers to pick you up from Streatham station or something, very handy cheers I live in fucking Cardiff you muppet  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jo-jo on 12 March 2018, 09:51:56 am
Text received ' hi, id like to make a booking for half hour, but first I need to know if you have a working hoover? and can I fuck your hoover.thanks.

 ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Funkymonkey on 12 March 2018, 10:25:28 am
Quote from: jo-jo on 12 March 2018, 09:51:56 am
Text received ' hi, id like to make a booking for half hour, but first I need to know if you have a working hoover? and can I fuck your hoover.thanks.

 ;D ;D

If they?re willing to pay your rates I think you?re quids in!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jo-jo on 12 March 2018, 10:57:51 am
Quote from: Funkymonkey on 12 March 2018, 10:25:28 am
If they?re willing to pay your rates I think you?re quids in!!

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 12 March 2018, 11:09:17 am
Phonecall -

Him - Do you do outcalls?
Me- It depends where. I don't drive.
Him - Neither do I cos I got banned.

He sounded okay, a bit too over familiar, but this revelation made me think reckless and irresponsible.

Would you see it as a red flag?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jo-jo on 12 March 2018, 11:12:12 am
Quote from: Gypsy on 12 March 2018, 11:09:17 am
Phonecall -

Him - Do you do outcalls?
Me- It depends where. I don't drive.
Him - Neither do I cos I got banned.

He sounded okay, a bit too over familiar, but this revelation made me think reckless and irresponsible.

Would you see it as a red flag?

wouldn't bother me at all tbh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Funkymonkey on 12 March 2018, 04:53:38 pm
Quote from: Gypsy on 12 March 2018, 11:09:17 am
Phonecall -

Him - Do you do outcalls?
Me- It depends where. I don't drive.
Him - Neither do I cos I got banned.

He sounded okay, a bit too over familiar, but this revelation made me think reckless and irresponsible.

Would you see it as a red flag?

All sorts of people lose their licence and/or have criminal records. I know a business owner, local councillor, doting father who lost his twice. He's just a bit of a silly billy who likes driving fast - but I would think it was weird to say it, he could just say - me either
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 12 March 2018, 05:35:51 pm
Quote from: Funkymonkey on 12 March 2018, 04:53:38 pm
All sorts of people lose their licence and/or have criminal records. I know a business owner, local councillor, doting father who lost his twice. He's just a bit of a silly billy who likes driving fast - but I would think it was weird to say it, he could just say - me either

Yeah, he sounded a bit Jack the Lad type. And that puts me off alone. Plus, it was a house visit and I never do those unless I feel completely comfortable.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 13 March 2018, 06:53:24 am
Woke up to this text this morn, sent at 1:21am

Fuck you over the back of my car tonight outside. 150 quid

 ::) :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 13 March 2018, 07:02:01 am
Quote from: wishlist on 13 March 2018, 06:53:24 am
Woke up to this text this morn, sent at 1:21am

Fuck you over the back of my car tonight outside. 150 quid

 ::) :FF

I wonder if he even thought you'd respond !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 13 March 2018, 10:03:37 am
Wow I just got this one (text) "am on the hills lambing n thought  wd ask are U avail at 3?"

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 13 March 2018, 05:25:37 pm
Caller this morning (Creepy sickly over nice voice) hello how are you .
Me ok thanks and you ?
 Caller Oh im good and how's your day going (baring in mind its only 9am !!)
Me how can I help
Caller  when are you free ?
Me from 10.am
Caller starts laughing says my name then says ok I'll come at 10,00 what do you do ?
Me why don't you read my profile then call back  :FF
Caller ok see you then  :FF :FF
It was the voice that really got me I couldn't have put up with him however he looked
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: honeymoonbarbie on 13 March 2018, 05:48:04 pm
Those that conveniently avoid giving definitive booking request information but simultaneously find ways  to ask more questions or completely ignore the information they?ve already been given.

Him: Hi, I would like to make a booking sometime this week, my number is x
Me: I don?t have availability before y, if you?d like to arrange something please do let me know a date, time and how long you?d be looking to book so that I can confirm availability.
Him: Where are you based?
Me: Same place as always, it?s also mentioned on my profile.
Him: I?ll definitely book - probs half hour. All services provided or ?
Me: Everything listed on my profile is included. If you would like to book please let me know a definitive day and time. Until then!
Him: definitely not available at any point tonight?! Worth a try x

Sure, why don?t I put on a new set of undies, do my makeup and sort out the incall room all on my day off for a 30 minute booking.

Him: your picture has caught my attention, are you still in x?
Me: Yes I am however I won?t be hosting incalls until y. If you would like to arrange a booking please give me a definitive date, time and how long you?d like to book for so that I can confirm my availability.
Him: Thanks for the quick response, i would be looking for either thursday or friday morning if possible, for possibly 90 mins..... Do you have any other pics?

Sure bud, I didn?t upload all available pictures to my profile because I enjoy individually selecting which ones to send to clients when they ask and I?d be more than happy to block out between 6AM and 12PM on both Thursday and Friday  to accomodate your possibly 90 minute booking request.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 13 March 2018, 06:00:28 pm
How many times can I cum in 30 mins ?
How many times do you usually cum with an escort in 30 mins  :FF
I'm sick to death of this one  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Christina_Rose on 13 March 2018, 06:44:46 pm
Today, I got an email on AdultWork with the subject line Humiliation.
 Would I be interested in domination/humiliation at all?  Erm, nope and its very clear from my profile that I don't offer S&m :FF
How about  #read.myprofileproperly :FF
Oh and something about custard pies, my smelly feet(They do not smell) and farts.

Apparently, this is all designed to make me laugh. Sure. Jog on.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 13 March 2018, 06:46:44 pm
Quote from: Christina_Rose on 13 March 2018, 06:44:46 pm
Today, I got an email on AdultWork with the subject line Humiliation.
 Would I be interested in domination/humiliation at all?  Erm, nope and its very clear from my profile that I don't offer S&m :FF
How about  #rea.myprofileproperly :FF
Oh and something about custard pies, my smelly feet(They do not smell) and farts.

Apparently, this is all designed to make me laugh. Sure. Jog on.

 Christina he's doing the rounds again I got his e-mail b4 !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Christina_Rose on 13 March 2018, 08:56:30 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 13 March 2018, 06:46:44 pm
Christina he's doing the rounds again I got his e-mail b4 !!!

Thanks ! Well, this current profile has 0 ratings  so he must have invented a new one.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: femfirexox on 14 March 2018, 01:03:20 am
Haven?t read all this thread yet but am seriously going to have to!

However thought I?d chime in with this;
Had a call earlier, answered, ?hey is this Stacey?? (My name isn?t Stacey)
?No babe, it?s not?
?Oh right, are you sure??
(At this point I just wanted to see where it was going)
Said no, told him my name, he then proceeded to ask if Stacey was free (don?t know a Stacey)
Then after me saying he clearly had the wrong number said ?oh well you?ll do, where are you, I?ll head down now?

Unsurprisingly I laughed, wished him luck & hung up  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 14 March 2018, 01:10:19 am
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 13 March 2018, 06:00:28 pm
How many times can I cum in 30 mins ?
How many times do you usually cum with an escort in 30 mins  :FF
I'm sick to death of this one  :FF

I literally don?t see anyone that asks this, twats
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 14 March 2018, 08:29:50 am

Hi
Lovely profile!
I travel through your town  daily. Would you consider jumping on the train to meet for a naughty liaison in the bathroom? ;)

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 14 March 2018, 08:39:27 am
Takes a booking told he wants 1 hrs I'm only doing 30 mins bookings agrees initially to 30 mins
I am tired of excessive texts when I refused the hour .
Started offering much higher prices unrealistic .
I cancelled him , he told me he was safe that I could trust him.
No thanks .
Who's next !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 14 March 2018, 09:43:46 am
Not advertising from 9.00 am anymore as the time wasters started as early as me !!!
Hi can u do full fetish booked for 10.00 am
Texts bullshit  I dont reply
Sorry can't make it he texts as I'm not playing his little game
Booking cancelled .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Working lady on 14 March 2018, 11:25:11 am
Joker wants to pay via PayPal 🙄 [removed]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 14 March 2018, 12:46:14 pm
Quote from: Justine on 13 March 2018, 10:03:37 am
Wow I just got this one (text) "am on the hills lambing n thought  wd ask are U avail at 3?"

 ;D
As long as he had a good wash beforehand I don't see why not!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Christina_Rose on 14 March 2018, 07:27:31 pm
After getting a car meet request and then messaging back and saying I wouldn't do this safety and asking for a mobile number: I have now got an email reply calling me Impatient- Spelt 'Inpatient' Girl. :FF I am also informed that the  requester is now overseas and wishes to revert .(Whatever that means). Lol


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 15 March 2018, 09:44:12 am
AW message from loser71 at about midnight

"When are you working and what is your number"

The first line of my profile reads,

"I work mostly week day daytimes and my number is up when I'm working. PLEASE NOTE I DO NOT WORK NIGHTS"  :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 16 March 2018, 03:54:07 am
Hi
I'm a mature slim toned tall local guy & I have goosd feedback on here.
Wondered if you'd do a 30 min incall for ?60 please?
I do bookings myself but your profle is lovely & you sound a particular woman with taste so I thought I'd ask you.
Hope you agree & my number's *** for text/watsapp when convenient.

My 'lovely profile' quite clearly states hagglers will be ignored, blocked and barred.  ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 16 March 2018, 09:22:56 am
Hi

I,ll get to the point , I want to be tied up and blindfolded then when my cock is hard i want a pen pushing down the inside of my cock as far as it will go , im trying to open the hole up enough for a finger to be inserted

The pen will be fatter than the hole in my cock
you must promise me you will force the pen in as far as it will go when im hard and tied as i know ill chicken out and try talk you out of it haha , just do it no matter what i say

pls be sure you will be ok doing this? you may have to force the pen in and there is a chance of blood , i realize this may not be for you and respect that but please let me know and message me back even if the answer is no

I would be willing to sign a disclaimer saying it is what i asked for so you are covered in case of any damage done to my cock

Pls be sure what you need to do here before we book and meet , i think 30 mins will be enough time ? maybe we could 69 and you could do it when im not expecting it , for me its not really about the pain , i just want the hole opened up , i have no intentions of wanting to hurt you in anyway so no worries there , i will pleasure you with my tongue though if you like

Can you help ?

thx for your time

====

Ewwww.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 16 March 2018, 09:26:43 am
A few texts from overnight, this is just last night.

Twat 1

1am - Hey are you even awake?
1am texts again - Past your bedtime love?  :FF

No, actually I'm in bed.

Twat 2

2.30am - Hi can you do the hour babe?
2.32.am - Am 20 mins away   :FF :FF

Good for you, keep driving.

Twat 3

3.07am - Hey are you free first thing?
3.08am - Are you free at 6am though, don't want to wake you x  :FF :FF :FF

OMFG you don't want to wake me at 6am but you happily text me twice at 3am???

Twat 4

4.07am - Free?
4.11 - )**** My area) that the best I got to come from Neath like
4.41am - You stil up


 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Seriously this is one night. Luckily I make use of the silent on my phone.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 16 March 2018, 11:55:45 am
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 16 March 2018, 09:26:43 am
A few texts from overnight, this is just last night.

Twat 1

1am - Hey are you even awake?
1am texts again - Past your bedtime love?  :FF

No, actually I'm in bed.

Twat 2

2.30am - Hi can you do the hour babe?
2.32.am - Am 20 mins away   :FF :FF

Good for you, keep driving.

Twat 3

3.07am - Hey are you free first thing?
3.08am - Are you free at 6am though, don't want to wake you x  :FF :FF :FF

OMFG you don't want to wake me at 6am but you happily text me twice at 3am???

Twat 4

4.07am - Free?
4.11 - )**** My area) that the best I got to come from Neath like
4.41am - You stil up


 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Seriously this is one night. Luckily I make use of the silent on my phone.

I got the same sort of idiots last night as you. 4 of them to be exact  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 16 March 2018, 01:14:37 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 16 March 2018, 09:22:56 am
Hi

I,ll get to the point , I want to be tied up and blindfolded then when my cock is hard i want a pen pushing down the inside of my cock as far as it will go , im trying to open the hole up enough for a finger to be inserted

The pen will be fatter than the hole in my cock
you must promise me you will force the pen in as far as it will go when im hard and tied as i know ill chicken out and try talk you out of it haha , just do it no matter what i say

pls be sure you will be ok doing this? you may have to force the pen in and there is a chance of blood , i realize this may not be for you and respect that but please let me know and message me back even if the answer is no

I would be willing to sign a disclaimer saying it is what i asked for so you are covered in case of any damage done to my cock

Pls be sure what you need to do here before we book and meet , i think 30 mins will be enough time ? maybe we could 69 and you could do it when im not expecting it , for me its not really about the pain , i just want the hole opened up , i have no intentions of wanting to hurt you in anyway so no worries there , i will pleasure you with my tongue though if you like

Can you help ?

thx for your time

====

Ewwww.

Why doesn't he just "get normal" and buy himself some urethral sounds? They go up pretty large.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 16 March 2018, 09:23:17 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 16 March 2018, 01:14:37 pm
Why doesn't he just "get normal" and buy himself some urethral sounds? They go up pretty large.

Exactly, this alone tells me he's just wanking over a fantasy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady c on 16 March 2018, 10:48:06 pm
Quote from: GG on 14 March 2018, 01:10:19 am
I literally don?t see anyone that asks this, twats

same
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: lady c on 16 March 2018, 10:49:56 pm
zero feedback since November last year.
what ur address, need to know i am discreet and safe..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Christina_Rose on 17 March 2018, 11:26:43 pm
Today I get ' booking request for 2 hours' .Open email, Right at end of email..  they want  whats app or skype video first :FF

Ugh! So I say I do not offer this, as is clear from my.profile. There are plenty of cammers on AW.

'Oh I want a two hour meet.I'm just so horny' ::)
Me' I can't help you .  Either specify Incall/Outcall, time and book properly, or stop wasting my time.I am busy and am going now' :FF

Silence .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 18 March 2018, 02:05:00 pm
AW message

'fancy a trade a hour of fun for a ounce of weed'

why is it some men think all prostitutes are drug users  ??? ::) :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Christina_Rose on 18 March 2018, 07:40:12 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 18 March 2018, 02:05:00 pm
AW message

'fancy a trade a hour of fun for a ounce of weed'

why is it some men think all prostitutes are drug users  ??? ::) :FF


This drives  me mad .This and ' Do you provide/ can you bring Coke/ Weed/Viagra'?  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Treetop on 18 March 2018, 10:43:39 pm
Quote from: wishlist on 18 March 2018, 02:05:00 pm
AW message

'fancy a trade a hour of fun for a ounce of weed'

why is it some men think all prostitutes are drug users  ??? ::) :FF
God I hate this I have what I think is one guy on different numbers asking to trade an hour for coke..... I don't know why they assume we are all on drugs.  :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 19 March 2018, 08:36:57 am
One guy called asked if I want to* party* but I told him I am not going to your party for a laugh  ;)
He put phone down after saying no darling it means take coke !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 19 March 2018, 12:31:52 pm
I've got this dickhead won't stop ringing/texting/AW. Last night he put in a 30 hour booking request  :FF He actually wants 15 mins but I've already told him I won't see him.

I don't block people as I like to know they are trying to contact me and think if I block they'll just create a new profile/new number and then I won't know it's them.

Oh and added to that he has now got a negative feedback from a local TG lady as he did a lookey loo there  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 19 March 2018, 01:02:14 pm
Text just now one word
Test   :-\
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarastar1 on 20 March 2018, 05:09:01 pm
Had a guy book last week. I was a bit up against it and foolishly abandoned my own rule of not booking by text.
Booked him in. He confirmed. Was only a 30 min booking.

I settled down to watch Real Housewives lol and awaited him..... then the texts started.....

?Waiting for a cab...?

Ok

?Do you have stockings??

?Can we watch a naughty video??

I ignored the last one as I couldn?t be arsed.

Then

?Can I call you??    Bear in mind the booking is ten minutes away now.

On the phone it?s clear he had no intentions of coming. He was in his house not in a cab. Kept pushing the video thing like I have time for that....not knocking it but in a 30 minute booking I run a tight ship and am not arsing about with smartphones when it?s clear I?m GFE. Also a bit dubious of phones in case of filming etc. Told him that he sounded deflated lol

Turns out he wanted a full blown porn style experience and I then questioned the age..,,
I prefer 30 upwards but do make the odd exception.

?I?m 27 next week...?
I notice all the under 30s that enquire lately have birthdays coming up lol

He had no intentions of coming just a silly Tw.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 20 March 2018, 05:18:03 pm
Quote from: Sarastar1 on 20 March 2018, 05:09:01 pm
....?I?m 27 next week...?
I notice all the under 30s that enquire lately have birthdays coming up lol
Ha ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 20 March 2018, 05:56:58 pm
Twat puts booking request through for 4hrs for ?90!!! As if. Don't even know how he could do it as my availability diary is not even showing as having any available days. I hate it when they can't even be bothered to contact me first and do silly things like that, and they never have feedback which figures.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 21 March 2018, 06:45:26 am
Quote from: CurlsnCurves on 20 March 2018, 05:56:58 pm
Twat puts booking request through for 4hrs for ?90!!! As if. Don't even know how he could do it as my availability diary is not even showing as having any available days. I hate it when they can't even be bothered to contact me first and do silly things like that, and they never have feedback which figures.

This has happened yet again too  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 21 March 2018, 09:29:40 am
Woke up at 8.30 to this one:

Hi darl if you are still in bed can I come and join you? if you already up will you go back to bed and let me role play you as waking you up with my stiff cock?

 ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 21 March 2018, 09:53:51 am
Quote from: Justine on 21 March 2018, 09:29:40 am
Woke up at 8.30 to this one:

Hi darl if you are still in bed can I come and join you? if you already up will you go back to bed and let me role play you as waking you up with my stiff cock?

 ::) ::) ::)
Oh please ... Justine hope u get a genuine one next
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 21 March 2018, 09:58:41 am
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 21 March 2018, 09:53:51 am
Oh please ... Justine hope u get a genuine one next

I have and he is one I know will be fine as he's on my top 5 list of reliable clients. I have never been plagued by reams of hoax callers/texters etc so when I do get one it just amuses me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 21 March 2018, 10:12:41 am
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 27 February 2018, 08:51:55 am
I've just had the most excessive long winded  e-mail request from some guy I have turned it down.


I was wondering if we could arrange a session with you in control dominating me?

I don't mean to sound like a script below, however i thought id include everything in regards to my interests to try and give you an insight into what turns me on.

Hopefully from this you can then take charge and dictate how the session goes and control it as you will be in charge.

What i would love would be for you to take control from the moment we meet. You order me to strip to ensure i am naked and vulnerable with you taking all of my clothes away and putting them into a bag. You then make it clear that unless i do as I'm told i wont get them back and i will be thrown out the door naked. This will ensure control is in your hands from the start and i will have to follow your instructions to the letter.

Maybe after the initial control being taken by you, you could explain to me that I'm your slave and i will do as you want or else. To maybe add further control / humiliation to this you could dress me up in a bra, panties and stockings? This would be even more humiliating being thrown out the door dressed like this if i do not follow orders?

I want you to be authoritative but also secretly delighted that you have your own plaything which you want to use for your pleasure. The fact that you get turned on by the power you have over the slave should come across, that you will use your slave for your pleasure (Whether its to lick you out, use to face sit, use to thrash with your whipping stick etc) means he is worth something to you, but at the same time you will throw him out the door naked if he doesn't agree to Anything you want.

You would take great joy out of humiliating me in any way so I need to really go out of my way to please you and do anything you want to avoid this from happening. I think once you initially have control over me (you fully dressed and me naked, without no clothes or dressed as a sissy as my Mistress has now taken them because me and everything i own is now her property) you will then have something / hold over me to ensure i do as you wish.

I would then love for the following activities to be included in the session:

- Tie up my balls

- Boot and foot worship (if you could have your toenails painted with red nail varnish that would be very sexy.)

- Water sports directly into the mouth (Maybe also fill up a glass with some to force me to drink later on in the session)

- Face slapping (repeatedly throughout the session to maintain control not letting me forget for one moment who is in control)

- Spanking (over your knee with my cock and / or balls squeezed in between your legs)

- Rimming (huge turn on and if verbal humiliation could be delivered while forcing me to do it that would be great and also multiple times throughout the session?)

- Strap-on (With a reasonably sized strap on (small to average))

- Sissy play (Dressing me up with a bra, panties and possibly stockings)

Could you let me know if you can cater for this request and how long you would
I've had this lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Christina_Rose on 21 March 2018, 03:33:02 pm

 Got this Yesterday:

 I noticed that you don?t offer CIM and other risky practices which is great.
Would you be ok with me rimming your bum which is something I would like to try and prefer to do that to someone that plays safe.
Would you be ok with a long booking which also involve me rimming you a lot?


Hmmmm. So, time has been taken to read my profile and still asking for a service I clearly don't provide. And if I said yes to every 'I want to try something 'unsafe' with you' I might as well advertise OWO, BAREBACK, ETC ETC.. ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 21 March 2018, 05:18:55 pm
Quote from: Christina_Rose on 21 March 2018, 03:33:02 pm
Got this Yesterday:

 I noticed that you don?t offer CIM and other risky practices which is great.
Would you be ok with me rimming your bum which is something I would like to try and prefer to do that to someone that plays safe.
Would you be ok with a long booking which also involve me rimming you a lot?


Hmmmm. So, time has been taken to read my profile and still asking for a service I clearly don't provide. And if I said yes to every 'I want to try something 'unsafe' with you' I might as well advertise OWO, BAREBACK, ETC ETC.. ::)

Give them an inch they will take a mile !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MsLadyV87 on 21 March 2018, 05:29:09 pm
Anyone get this recently??  ::)

Hi girls
I have ended up staying in Leicester tonight and after a last minute booking (tonight Wed)

Looking for full girlfriend experience so lots of french kissing, oral on you, fingering, oral on me and great sex of course. I would also never say no to a nice massage :P

i would much prefer if its ok with you to have both the oral and the SEX without ruining it with horrible condoms... I am clean, tested, flexible on price and as you can see I have amazing feedback on here.

Hopefully we can get naughty soon


my reply
   
Ok first of all I NEVER DO BAREBACK!!!!!!!

secondly if you cant be bothered to take the time to least email escorts properly and not just choose a batch....then sit back and hope....then SERIOUSLY NOT interested!!!!!! :)

Have a good evening and seriously wish you good luck!!!

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 21 March 2018, 05:51:34 pm
This type of email is very rarely answered by me at all.  Some of these men have no intention of booking but they get a thrill out of seeing a reply, ANY reply so don't grant them a moment's happiness.

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 21 March 2018, 08:02:08 pm
Whatsapp message:

Him: Are you there?

I ignore.

a couple of hours later
Him: Would you mind at least answering yes or no
Me: No

a couple more hours later
Him; Are you an escort?
Me: No

Nothing back yet!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 21 March 2018, 08:34:09 pm
Probably been said before but got this one again this afternoon.

Text  "who's this?"

He is still waiting for my reply.  ::)

Sometimes I do reply and just say "me"



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Christinex on 21 March 2018, 08:38:53 pm
Quote from: Justine on 21 March 2018, 08:34:09 pm
Probably been said before but got this one again this aftertoon.

Text  "who's this?"

He is still waiting for my reply.  ::)

Sometimes I do reply and just say "me"

I had this one on whatsapp with profile picture of usama bin laden. Freaked me out. Ignored & blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 21 March 2018, 09:01:56 pm
Quote from: Christinex on 21 March 2018, 08:38:53 pm
I had this one on whatsapp with profile picture of usama bin laden. Freaked me out. Ignored & blocked.

This aftertoon?

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jasmine89 on 22 March 2018, 09:27:57 am
Text this morning

Hi gorgeous,live wit parents in Fulham+25st.Looking 4 BJ+to pop my cherry wen next get house free-want a classy lady 2 do it with!Please let me know!Genuine!xxx

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 22 March 2018, 02:37:22 pm
I got an e-mail from a virgin who had never done this sort of thing b4
What do they think I was born yesterday ? ::)
I messaged back asking why are you still a virgin lol ?
Strangely he didn't reply
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Christinex on 22 March 2018, 02:48:44 pm
Quote from: Justine on 21 March 2018, 09:01:56 pm
This aftertoon?

 ;D

No Mr Who's this been pestering me with texts since last November. Now blocked. His picture scared shit out of me. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarastar1 on 22 March 2018, 03:29:02 pm
Had this in my inbox the other day.....he has 3 aliases no feedback but sent me the same exact copy and pasted message two weeks before lol


Hi

I've just seen your profile and think I really need to see you :)

Do you see virgins? I'm a virgin but just very into getting dominated at the first time so someone can teach me the 'ropes' :) pardon the pun!

I think I'll want to explore stuff like Cleaning, foot worship, orgasm control, kissing, denial/ruined(If don't deserve a real one!) bondage etc! Anything what makes you happy or want to try on someone.

Best,
Dean

I did reply informing him that he will never get a booking due to his 1000s of emails sent on 3 accounts lol and that he sent the precise message weeks before.
Of course he read the email reply straight away but no reply lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 22 March 2018, 06:37:38 pm
Quote from: Sarastar1 on 22 March 2018, 03:29:02 pm
Had this in my inbox the other day.....he has 3 aliases no feedback but sent me the same exact copy and pasted message two weeks before lol


Hi

I've just seen your profile and think I really need to see you :)

Do you see virgins? I'm a virgin but just very into getting dominated at the first time so someone can teach me the 'ropes' :) pardon the pun!

I think I'll want to explore stuff like Cleaning, foot worship, orgasm control, kissing, denial/ruined(If don't deserve a real one!) bondage etc! Anything what makes you happy or want to try on someone.

Best,
Dean

I did reply informing him that he will never get a booking due to his 1000s of emails sent on 3 accounts lol and that he sent the precise message weeks before.
Of course he read the email reply straight away but no reply lol

Yes this is our man !!!
He didn't reply to you either
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: wishlist on 22 March 2018, 08:25:50 pm
Quote from: Sarastar1 on 22 March 2018, 03:29:02 pm
Had this in my inbox the other day.....he has 3 aliases no feedback but sent me the same exact copy and pasted message two weeks before lol


Hi

I've just seen your profile and think I really need to see you :)

Do you see virgins? I'm a virgin but just very into getting dominated at the first time so someone can teach me the 'ropes' :) pardon the pun!

I think I'll want to explore stuff like Cleaning, foot worship, orgasm control, kissing, denial/ruined(If don't deserve a real one!) bondage etc! Anything what makes you happy or want to try on someone.

Best,
Dean

I did reply informing him that he will never get a booking due to his 1000s of emails sent on 3 accounts lol and that he sent the precise message weeks before.
Of course he read the email reply straight away but no reply lol

iv had this message  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NortheastGirl on 22 March 2018, 09:34:52 pm
Quote from: Sarastar1 on 22 March 2018, 03:29:02 pm
Had this in my inbox the other day.....he has 3 aliases no feedback but sent me the same exact copy and pasted message two weeks before lol


Hi

I've just seen your profile and think I really need to see you :)

Do you see virgins? I'm a virgin but just very into getting dominated at the first time so someone can teach me the 'ropes' :) pardon the pun!

I think I'll want to explore stuff like Cleaning, foot worship, orgasm control, kissing, denial/ruined(If don't deserve a real one!) bondage etc! Anything what makes you happy or want to try on someone.

Best,
Dean

I did reply informing him that he will never get a booking due to his 1000s of emails sent on 3 accounts lol and that he sent the precise message weeks before.
Of course he read the email reply straight away but no reply lol

Yes I?ve had this email too couple days ago lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 23 March 2018, 07:00:34 am
Email this morning
Wow wow wow
Did you like my picture ?
It was a cock shot suprise suprise  :o :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarastar1 on 23 March 2018, 04:27:05 pm
I?m getting really pissed off .....

Today I have had some 22year old persistently trying to book and not taking no for an answer. I stipulate over 30s.

Also have been getting messages today  off so called ?virgins? stating they are British Asian and 23 year  old and don?t believe in sex before marriage (blah blah) and want to lose their virginity to me.

I think it?s the same bloke tbh and it?s a quiet day i could do without this.

I don?t know why some guys thinking the fact they are a virgin is a bonus when booking lol 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarastar1 on 23 March 2018, 04:45:09 pm
 
Just got this text....
 
Hey Princess x when you open today?


I?m not a bloody shop ffs lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 23 March 2018, 05:47:14 pm
Quote from: Sarastar1 on 23 March 2018, 04:27:05 pm
I?m getting really pissed off .....

Today I have had some 22year old persistently trying to book and not taking no for an answer. I stipulate over 30s.

Also have been getting messages today  off so called ?virgins? stating they are British Asian and 23 year  old and don?t believe in sex before marriage (blah blah) and want to lose their virginity to me.

I think it?s the same bloke tbh and it?s a quiet day i could do without this.

I don?t know why some guys thinking the fact they are a virgin is a bonus when booking lol

Hrs yours now  lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Christinex on 23 March 2018, 08:41:45 pm
Had enough today and feeling badly targeted by timewasters. Not only males!! Emails from escort lady with 10 feedbacks.

Her: Hi,how's it going sexy
Me:   Hi, Thanks I am ok. Can I help?
Her: Yep looking for something special for my birthday
Me: Cool. Let me know date, time, duration & what you looking for. I will get back to you with my availability and we can discuss details over the phone.
Her: Sounds good its a mate thst is doing this for me, i just love licking pussie



Want to cry.... :-[






Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 24 March 2018, 02:28:24 am
Quote from: Christinex on 23 March 2018, 08:41:45 pm
Had enough today and feeling badly targeted by timewasters. Not only males!! Emails from escort lady with 10 feedbacks.

Her: Hi,how's it going sexy
Me:   Hi, Thanks I am ok. Can I help?
Her: Yep looking for something special for my birthday
Me: Cool. Let me know date, time, duration & what you looking for. I will get back to you with my availability and we can discuss details over the phone.
Her: Sounds good its a mate thst is doing this for me, i just love licking pussie

Want to cry.... :-[

Off topic point out this is not me. As I had post forum for turning 30 bday treat dom lady. xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 24 March 2018, 08:38:14 am
Quote from: Christinex on 23 March 2018, 08:41:45 pm
Had enough today and feeling badly targeted by timewasters. Not only males!! Emails from escort lady with 10 feedbacks.

Her: Hi,how's it going sexy
Me:   Hi, Thanks I am ok. Can I help?
Her: Yep looking for something special for my birthday
Me: Cool. Let me know date, time, duration & what you looking for. I will get back to you with my availability and we can discuss details over the phone.
Her: Sounds good its a mate thst is doing this for me, i just love licking pussie



Want to cry.... :-[


Oh my gosh were you not meant to be so amused by it  it's soo original and remarkable funny NOT !!
 ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Christinex on 24 March 2018, 10:22:21 am
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 24 March 2018, 08:38:14 am

Oh my gosh were you not meant to be so amused by it  it's soo original and remarkable funny NOT !!
 ::) ::) ::)

Actually it's really sad. Oh well.. Why did I even bother to reply her first message ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 25 March 2018, 06:34:22 pm
Caller hi are you the girl in the pictures ?
Me... yes the images are authentic.
 Caller Describe your body size and shape to me ?
My pictures show clearly my shape and size  ::)
What's your name again luv  .
Just had to put phone down . :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Funkymonkey on 26 March 2018, 03:33:16 am
Email:    Hi I am looking to arrange a meet in April...looking for a dirty minded slut who will wank and suck my cock letting me shoot my cum over her face and tits before watching you finger and play with yourself before sitting on my face and cumming over me as I lick your soaking wet pussy...you can then take my cock in any position you want....love doggy though..interested ????

Me:   No
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TandPJS on 26 March 2018, 08:11:25 pm
i'm up to my ears today in geographers today:

EXHIBIT1: guy who seemed pretty cool and normal over email, says he'll let me know the hotel address when he knows it, i stupidly assume it'll be in Paris which is where i very clearly advertise myself as working in, surprise surprise he's booked an ibis budget IN A DIFFERENT BLOODY CITY then, as if to add insult to injury the hotel isn't even next to the bloody station, he expects me to get a train then a bus, about 90mins each way for an hour meet. told him off for taking the piss bloody cheapskate idiot.

EXHIBIT2: "Hi 'ive just moved to Enghein (someplace i've never heard of) and looking for a stress free blojob"

me: (assuming it's a street or residence) "Never heard of it but my tarif is XXX"

Exhibit 2: "it's a town lol!"

me: "well go find an escort from Enghein then!"

EXHIBIT 3 - username is selfdef

really really long email about his foot fetish then offers me some "free self defense lessons" where he can teach me how to kick someone (spoiler: it's him) in the bollocks really well "because a lot of girls actually miss the testes when they kick"

me, having had enough today: "I study boxing and MMA and if you think i can't locate a man testicles you obviously don't understand what it is I do"


EXHBIT4 : "horrendously long and awful poetry saying he wants a BDSM meet"

me: "yeah, sure, my tarif is XXX"

EX4 "i don't believe in paying for sex"

me: "ok, please don't send any more escorts your terrible poetry then please, i'm drowning in fools right now"

EX4: abusive mail calling me a whore (shock horrer) and saying my ad should make it more obvious what i am! I'm not legally able to use the word escort but i didn't think i could make it more bloody obvious what i do!

good thing i havn't had any appointments today really, i'm not feeling the least bit like the charming sophistcated culture vulture i advertise myself as. Normally i just ignore these fools, must be me hormones lol

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 26 March 2018, 10:07:50 pm
I have been busy in my personal life for a while so have only been seeing regulars. Today I decide as I have more free time I would use AT and show my number.


First text already saved as a no show: Hi are you available today

Second moron: u working

Third moron: Whereabout are you? (It says a rough location on my profile AND he is already saved as a rude twat.)

Fourth moron: Hi hun where bouts in x r u bbes

Fifth moron: Asks what time I am available from, as my auto text went back when he tried to call. Tell him when I am available and then "Oh can't you do before x time?" If I could do that I wouldn't give you a later time!

And the final one: Hey baby have time for sex today

 :FF





Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 27 March 2018, 08:01:50 am
Quote from: Hannaah on 26 March 2018, 10:07:50 pm
I have been busy in my personal life for a while so have only been seeing regulars. Today I decide as I have more free time I would use AT and show my number.


First text already saved as a no show: Hi are you available today

Second moron: u working

Third moron: Whereabout are you? (It says a rough location on my profile AND he is already saved as a rude twat.)

Fourth moron: Hi hun where bouts in x r u bbes

Fifth moron: Asks what time I am available from, as my auto text went back when he tried to call. Tell him when I am available and then "Oh can't you do before x time?" If I could do that I wouldn't give you a later time!

And the final one: Hey baby have time for sex today

 :FF

That's very annoying at some point you  scream and quit for the day I guess
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarastar1 on 28 March 2018, 12:12:51 pm
I have a guy listed on my phone as ?Period Sex Guy? who clearly does the rounds texting the same old bollocks ?Do you offer period sex??
I usually ignore him but I text back the other day as I was in a crappy mood lol

?No I don?t get periods as I was born a man originally....Seriously though I have had loads of texts from you and to be honest if I offered it I would advertise it.Lots if girls that do but I don?t.?

Another one is my no show from a couple of weeks back who decided a week later to get in touch acting like nothing happened.

Told him to bugger off basically but was more polite lol the gist was that I don?t give bookings to no shows.

He gave the excuse that he was sorry but he missed the bus!!!! This was after initially when he booked asking about free parking lol


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 28 March 2018, 07:52:50 pm
Received on AW -

Can I add u on Snapchat


 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 29 March 2018, 08:07:27 am
Quote from: GG on 28 March 2018, 07:52:50 pm
Received on AW -

Can I add u on Snapchat


 ::)

I want to say what's snapchat lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 29 March 2018, 12:03:10 pm
Some young guy who I have seen before but only once asked if I had some chat app which I don't. Then asked if I'd like a video of him wanking? I declined. He asked why not - I explained that I could see it in person when he arrived and paid. Funnily enough he never arrived. Barred!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TandPJS on 29 March 2018, 01:50:46 pm
Hi beauty!

Tell me 1 tiny thing,you meet some guys for money or just for fun,please?

Bye.

my reponse: read my advert sherlock
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarastar1 on 29 March 2018, 01:54:40 pm
Switched my phone on this morning to see  two MASSIVE long texts from some guy I?ve never met. Basically asking to meet but going on and on and on about how he isn?t a timewaster etc how he has masturbated to my pictures......you get the general idea.
Somehow I can?t be arsed responding. I find the more they go on and on I can?t be arsed taking the booking.
All I want is them to book...pay and go!!!!

Honestly
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarastar1 on 29 March 2018, 01:59:23 pm
I just remembered another one lol

Yesterday I was in s booking but when it was over I checked my phone and had missed calls/texts.

One guy I?ve had previous comms with and who cancelled last week sends this text....

?You have been sent this text by (shows number) asking them to call them back as they are out of credit (Normal charges apply)?

Now if they have run out of credit and can?t be arsed topping up how can they afford to be making bookings lol 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TandPJS on 29 March 2018, 02:11:07 pm
Quote from: Sarastar1 on 29 March 2018, 01:59:23 pm
I just remembered another one lol

Yesterday I was in s booking but when it was over I checked my phone and had missed calls/texts.

One guy I?ve had previous comms with and who cancelled last week sends this text....

?You have been sent this text by (shows number) asking them to call them back as they are out of credit (Normal charges apply)?

Now if they have run out of credit and can?t be arsed topping up how can they afford to be making bookings lol


o god i hate them asking me to call them first as well! the other day i got

"hey, you can contact me on XXXXXXXX"
 
literally nothing else, what the hell am i supposed to do with that?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 29 March 2018, 04:05:13 pm
Yesterday caller
Hi can you tell me what you do ?
I just cut the caller off
It it just me or are you ladies also turned off by sheer stupidity ?. It certainly dosnt get a booking .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 29 March 2018, 07:55:05 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 29 March 2018, 04:05:13 pm
Yesterday caller
Hi can you tell me what you do ?
I just cut the caller off
It it just me or are you ladies also turned off by sheer stupidity ?. It certainly dosnt get a booking .
I've replied with 'I fuck guys like you for money' that normally leaves them a bit quiet! :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Christina_Rose on 30 March 2018, 12:15:24 am
So, last night went to bed and forgot to switch off my mobile1
Got lovely 2 am wake up call followed by this:

OP:'Hi. You available now? I am really horny'
Me: 'No. Not at this time'
O.P :'But London is 24/7. Please, just quickly, what about my car?'
Me: 'Wrong city. You are thinking of New York. I am now blocking you. Goodbye'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 31 March 2018, 05:10:24 pm
Text last night while I was out:

'I want to start by saying you are a  beautiful woman and extremely sexy! I saw your number online.
My name is David. I've never done this type of thing before! I'm having a big celebration tonight (short version I'm going to be in a movie with Chris pine and get a speaking part!) and my casual sex friend has fallen asleep. i'm a handsome 6ft blonde 33 year old with an 8 inch cock (plus two grams of cocaine and some high grade cannabis i would happily share, or leave behind if you don't like that sort of thing) I'd like to offer ?140 for 45 mins or so of your company. (possibly longer if we enjoy each other!) We only need to have sex if you are genuinely attracted to me - Im am extremely laid back stoner musician who would do exactly what you ask and leave the second you tell me to! I live in the south side of Glasgow also. What do you think? I won't be at all offended if you tell me to piss off or don't reply..
Call me if you want, I think we could have a great time together!
David x'

Okay pal.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 31 March 2018, 06:55:12 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 31 March 2018, 05:10:24 pm
I'm going to be in a movie with Chris pine and get a speaking part!

OMG girl how were your knickers not already on the floor at the thought of such a brush with fame?!
 :D :D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 31 March 2018, 07:11:41 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 31 March 2018, 06:55:12 pm
OMG girl how were your knickers not already on the floor at the thought of such a brush with fame?!
 :D :D :D
hahaha wow he's a STAR  :-*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 31 March 2018, 10:09:23 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 31 March 2018, 05:10:24 pm
I'm going to be in a movie with Chris pine
Ah yes cause Hollywood is just crying out for stoner musicians from Glasgow  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 01 April 2018, 08:42:26 am
Quote from: Caledonia on 31 March 2018, 10:09:23 pm
Ah yes cause Hollywood is just crying out for stoner musicians from Glasgow  ;D

Shame he can't be in a silent movie !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 01 April 2018, 09:35:36 am
Quote from: Caledonia on 31 March 2018, 10:09:23 pm
Ah yes cause Hollywood is just crying out for stoner musicians from Glasgow  ;D
;D My favourite part is that he could pay me ?140, drop off some drugs and then I can tell him to leave.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 01 April 2018, 12:51:54 pm
Via AW

Him: U ever met anyone who cum so thick its stuck tits together like down cleavage xx caused tits 2 like glue together cos so sticky and thick x
Me: No, and I wouldn?t want to either. Enjoy the wank.
Him: Well you prob had few loads on tits with ur job

No shit Sherlock. Although I don?t think he realises I?m flat chested, there?s nothing there to stick together  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NortheastGirl on 01 April 2018, 10:29:58 pm
Him via AW: Hi I'm Matt, im 31 and I wondered if you are free on wednesday for an incall any time after 10am?
Im looking for a girl who will be confident making me in to her oral sex slave for a session, someone who will not just lie there and get licked out but actively abuse my tongue, be demanding and tell me exactly how to please her. I lime rimming a girl too, being face sat is a massive turn but my biggest turn on is having a sexually selfish girl completely abuse my tongue.
Is this something that would interest you?
As you can see from my feedback I'm genuine and I'm also flexible with dates and times x



I wonder how many other ladies he?s sent this email to or am I the lucky one?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NortheastGirl on 01 April 2018, 10:36:28 pm
AW idiot: how much bj and fuck im a 33 year old male.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 01 April 2018, 11:59:14 pm
Quote from: Jenxx on 01 April 2018, 10:29:58 pm
Him via AW: Hi I'm Matt, im 31 and I wondered if you are free on wednesday for an incall any time after 10am?
Im looking for a girl who will be confident making me in to her oral sex slave for a session, someone who will not just lie there and get licked out but actively abuse my tongue, be demanding and tell me exactly how to please her. I lime rimming a girl too, being face sat is a massive turn but my biggest turn on is having a sexually selfish girl completely abuse my tongue.
Is this something that would interest you?
As you can see from my feedback I'm genuine and I'm also flexible with dates and times x



I wonder how many other ladies he?s sent this email to or am I the lucky one?

Pretty sure I got him too!

"Hi I'm Matt, im 31 with good feedback, i wondered if you are free today after 1 pm for an incall?

I wondered if you would use me as your oral sex slave, lots of pussy licking, lots of eating your ass and lots of you sat on my face.

Would you do this?

X"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 02 April 2018, 06:33:02 am
Im waiting for that one , why has ut taken so long to come ,must be  due to Easter !!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TandPJS on 02 April 2018, 10:06:08 am
Dentist : I'l suggesting something a bit particular, i don't know if it would interest you....

Me: Well tell me what it is and I'll be able to give you an answer

DEntist: I'll explain, I'm marc a dentist from XXXXXXX, I don't pay for sex ( :FF :FF :FF ) but i proposean exchange of services for dental care, teeth whitening

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

me: (wiping tears from my eyes)No but seriously mate a dental check up costs like 6euros

Dentist: not for a teeth whitening

me: *more laughing*

you think he wanted me to suck his willy before or after rummaging around in my gob? as if going to the dentist wasn't already traumatic enough
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 02 April 2018, 10:59:56 am
Subject:   Hi

I'd change your profile if I were you as you sound hard work... Don't forget that people pay to see you, you should please them and they don't pay to please you

 ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 02 April 2018, 11:48:48 am
Some dick - user name TomHardy (which puts me off straight away - I mean - you wish dude!) keeps messaging me am I free when my number is not up and it clearly says on my profile I'm only available for last minute if my number is up. So this is like 5th time and I answer - no. He's then sent this
"yo slag - you ever available?"

YO SLAG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  :FF :FF :FF

Me - "not to you ever now after that little outburst sunshine"
Tom(?!) - "wouldn't want you anyway"

What a loss eh?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 02 April 2018, 12:33:37 pm
What's the betting this was written by a man (who was wanking?) Received on AW last night... Bold comments, mine.

Hi,

I apologise for the lengthy email but I'm hoping yoiu might be able to help me. Hopefully, I won't offend you by asking if you'd go bisexual for me. I don't need to 'go' bisexual, I am already

I'm a 38 year old lady who has the good fortune to presently have a 21 year old boyfriend Doesn't sound like a lucky thing to me tbh, although really he's better described as a young man with a healthy sexual obsession. I'm usually more in to girls and have used this site before to call up girls to come and sexually pleasure me, usually when I've done a little coke and have got my confidence up. Yay! Coked up client!

To date, I've let him watch me walk around in high heels and stockings while he peeps on me through a window and wanks his cock. I've also let him gaze on me in stockings and suspenders while he's stood naked in front of me - but haven't let him touch himself. However, he does have an amazing cock which I've measured at 8 inches and he has a huge bell end which is gorgeous. Really?

I'm looking for another lady for a FFM who'd dress in identical stockings and suspenders Identical?! How would this work?! and have sex with me while he watches. His ultimate fantasy is to cum inside me, but I'd hold off on that for a while, but I might be inclined to let him cum on my tits while I fuck another girl with a double headed dildo, which is my best sex toy. I'd also really get off with some mutual pussy licking and I've ordered a fucking machine which we could take turns on and get each other off.

Would you be interested. I reckon a two hour session with plenty of fingering, dildos and cunt licking would drain his balls until they ache as well as making me cum harder than I've ever done. I'd love to know you're thinking? That you are a man
xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Christinex on 02 April 2018, 01:28:07 pm
Quote from: TandPJS on 02 April 2018, 10:06:08 am
Dentist : I'l suggesting something a bit particular, i don't know if it would interest you....

Me: Well tell me what it is and I'll be able to give you an answer

DEntist: I'll explain, I'm marc a dentist from XXXXXXX, I don't pay for sex ( :FF :FF :FF ) but i proposean exchange of services for dental care, teeth whitening

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

me: (wiping tears from my eyes)No but seriously mate a dental check up costs like 6euros

Dentist: not for a teeth whitening

me: *more laughing*

you think he wanted me to suck his willy before or after rummaging around in my gob? as if going to the dentist wasn't already traumatic enough

Chancer. Probably got teeth whitening kit for a tenner from eBay  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TandPJS on 02 April 2018, 01:57:02 pm
nothing specific except long line of hagglers, photo fishers today

not a single serious client, except those who want me to travel over an hour on public transport to meet them

is it like this every bank holiday? desperatly need to work today but i think i'm just gonna give up
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 02 April 2018, 04:21:31 pm
Quote from: TandPJS on 02 April 2018, 01:57:02 pm
nothing specific except long line of hagglers, photo fishers today

not a single serious client, except those who want me to travel over an hour on public transport to meet them

is it like this every bank holiday? desperatly need to work today but i think i'm just gonna give up

I was quiet Friday, but Saturday, Sunday and today have been great. Absolutely tons of wanky overnight texts but I just block those when I wake up :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NortheastGirl on 03 April 2018, 01:29:08 am
Quote from: Hannaah on 01 April 2018, 11:59:14 pm
Pretty sure I got him too!

"Hi I'm Matt, im 31 with good feedback, i wondered if you are free today after 1 pm for an incall?

I wondered if you would use me as your oral sex slave, lots of pussy licking, lots of eating your ass and lots of you sat on my face.

Would you do this?

X"


And there was gullible me thinking I was the special one x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NortheastGirl on 03 April 2018, 01:50:20 am
This really is a week of dickheads for me  :F

AW Idiot : Hey princess have you really got a Geordie accent?

Me: No Hun, I?ve got a Timbuktu accent. Just thought I?d say I?m Geordie  for a laugh
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 03 April 2018, 12:52:42 pm
Quote from: Wailing Banshee on 02 April 2018, 12:33:37 pm
What's the betting this was written by a man (who was wanking?) Received on AW last night... Bold comments, mine.

Would you be interested. I reckon a two hour session with plenty of fingering, dildos and cunt licking would drain his balls until they ache as well as making me cum harder than I've ever done. I'd love to know you're thinking? That you are a man
xx

That whole thing was hilarious hun, I properly lol'd. 'drain his balls' never in a million years would a woman say that. Thank you for the laugh xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 03 April 2018, 02:24:21 pm
I have a new rule to charge extra guys who come to me with their nonsense I have a big dick.

Idiot: Hi I want to book you I have a 11inch cock
Me: I will see you so long as your gentle but there will be a 100 pound surcharge for big penises
Idiot: Ok
Me: Take down my details to secure my taxi
Idiot: Second thought that is too much. You sluts should take this big cock
Me: This slut will take your imaginary big cock for 100 extra go suck and choke on a donkey dick (i flipped cos I am due for m period.) then I put phone down and blocked asap.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 03 April 2018, 03:48:43 pm
Brilliant! I am going to add a surcharge onto those who mention size of enormous cock!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 04 April 2018, 12:05:08 am
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 04 April 2018, 12:35:54 am
Quote from: Wailing Banshee on 03 April 2018, 03:48:43 pm
Brilliant! I am going to add a surcharge onto those who mention size of enormous cock!

loool it is not something I mention on my adverts but I say it over the phone allot and one time got lucky arrived on the outcall and his willy was not big as he claimed to be but I kept the extra 100 and just inflated his ego. ohhh what big cock (in my head average willly) gently baby don't do me deep. So I have stuck with surcharge reply ever since.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TandPJS on 04 April 2018, 09:40:48 am
Quote from: DynamiteDoll on 04 April 2018, 12:35:54 am
loool it is not something I mention on my adverts but I say it over the phone allot and one time got lucky arrived on the outcall and his willy was not big as he claimed to be but I kept the extra 100 and just inflated his ego. ohhh what big cock (in my head average willly) gently baby don't do me deep. So I have stuck with surcharge reply ever since.

that's gonna be my new policy!

Moron: "Hi can i just rub my penis on the outisde of your vagina without a condom just to ejaculate?"

Me: "Sorry you've just failed my intelligence screening test"

Moron: "I've had a test as well!"

Me: for IQ?

Moron : "HIV"

Me: and for your IQ?

Moron: "yes"

Me: Was it positive?
*pause of several minutes as client presumably googles 'IQ' thinking it's some kind of STD

Moron: "yes"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 04 April 2018, 10:04:05 am
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 04 April 2018, 10:52:15 am
This thread is hilarious  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 04 April 2018, 12:31:55 pm
Quote from: DynamiteDoll on 04 April 2018, 12:35:54 am
loool it is not something I mention on my adverts but I say it over the phone allot and one time got lucky arrived on the outcall and his willy was not big as he claimed to be but I kept the extra 100 and just inflated his ego. ohhh what big cock (in my head average willly) gently baby don't do me deep. So I have stuck with surcharge reply ever since.

You've got me thinking now. I generally ask guys "Have you ever been refused full sex with an escort before?" and if they say yes I say it's probably best we don't meet then as I can't handle an over-sized penis.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 04 April 2018, 01:00:22 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 04 April 2018, 12:31:55 pm
You've got me thinking now. I generally ask guys "Have you ever been refused full sex with an escort before?" and if they say yes I say it's probably best we don't meet then as I can't handle an over-sized penis.

Yes this will be remembered xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kitty_69 on 04 April 2018, 01:10:15 pm
first and only message on aw from this guy

I?m free today if you have a time and interest can text me .im looking a bit fun in my off

no number !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 04 April 2018, 01:25:07 pm
They are deluded.

Phone call today.

Twat - "Where are you babe?"

Me - "I'm in xxx town."

Twat - "Oh. (Sounds disappointed.) I thought you were in xxx town. (No idea why when it says on ALL my ads exactly where I am. ???) Well I suppose I could come to you? But I'm wondering, would it be worth my while?"

Me - Hangs up.  :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 04 April 2018, 04:05:28 pm
I'd have replied with 'I don't know but I'm pretty sure it won't be worth my while.' ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Asiangirl55 on 05 April 2018, 02:59:41 am
I got this awfully long text from a guy who was apparently serious about booking:

Babe you're going to think I'm crazy or full of shit but here goes so I had the full intention of booking you today been up frm 5 I start work at 6 O'clock in the morning today & was still up for it after a 8 x shift lol. Instead of going st8 to you after work (should have in hindsight). I went home 2 eat,shower, drink a magnum, put on nice attire etc. In the process of eating & drinking a bottle of coke my food whent down the wrong hole & a burp come up at the same time, in a nutshell my back is FU**** as a result of this freak injury I'm literally crippled and unable to posture my back straight without being in absolute agony, therefore unable to sexually perform as desired lol. I even aqquired a pair of sexy white leggings it just wasn't meant to be...today lol as soon as I recover seeing will be my #1 priority. Your accent, in our very brief convo really turned me on. Sorry to mess you about.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 05 April 2018, 07:49:01 am
Quote from: Asiangirl55 on 05 April 2018, 02:59:41 am
I got this awfully long text from a guy who was apparently serious about booking:

Babe you're going to think I'm crazy or full of shit but here goes so I had the full intention of booking you today been up frm 5 I start work at 6 O'clock in the morning today & was still up for it after a 8 x shift lol. Instead of going st8 to you after work (should have in hindsight). I went home 2 eat,shower, drink a magnum, put on nice attire etc. In the process of eating & drinking a bottle of coke my food whent down the wrong hole & a burp come up at the same time, in a nutshell my back is FU**** as a result of this freak injury I'm literally crippled and unable to posture my back straight without being in absolute agony, therefore unable to sexually perform as desired lol. I even aqquired a pair of sexy white leggings it just wasn't meant to be...today lol as soon as I recover seeing will be my #1 priority. Your accent, in our very brief convo really turned me on. Sorry to mess you about.

Ha ha ha ha!  ;D

Well, that's creative!  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 05 April 2018, 08:27:11 am
That's so weirdly detailed that I'd be inclined to believe it! I have an ex who slipped a disc in his back due to coughing while he was reaching up to get a can of beans out the cupboard.

At least it's more entertaining than "I've been called into work" :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 05 April 2018, 04:25:05 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 05 April 2018, 05:02:53 pm
Quote from: 80s synthetic on 05 April 2018, 04:25:05 pm
Jackass (texting): Hi are you free today for an appointment?
Me: Yes, please call me to discuss.
Jackass: Thanks hun. Not today.

 ::)

Wtf lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 05 April 2018, 05:04:49 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvymamma on 05 April 2018, 05:29:24 pm
I got yesterday  " can you come to Stoke today?'

I replied
Stoke on Trent
Stoke bruerne
Stoke poges
Stoke Gifford
Stoke Mandeville
Stoke Goldington
Or any of the other hundred Stokes?

It turned out to be Stoke on Trent which is 2 hours away from me and he wanted an hours booking, bless him!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jo-jo on 05 April 2018, 05:55:27 pm
This guy called me for about 4 weeks asking whether I would be visiting his city on my tour.

Finally I tour his local.

He calls me at 8am asking for a 9.30 am booking. I explained the confirmation procedure bla bla bla, all ok.

He texts me at 8.15am: Hi my BKB, So what can I expect at 9.30am?
Me:What is BKB
Him: Black Kinky Bitch ( I advertise as GFE no kinks.)
Him 20 mins later: You ok?
Him at 9am: Hi, Can you see me now?
ME:You booked for 9.30am, It is not 9.30 am.I asked you to confirm the booking at 9am.
HIM: ok, can you not see me now?
ME: No. bye.

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarastar1 on 08 April 2018, 11:45:42 am
Had a guy today text me for a booking calling me ?khloe?.....now my name isn?t khloe so he is clearly a serious multiple escort caller/texter  ;D



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Treetop on 08 April 2018, 12:09:12 pm
Quote from: Sarastar1 on 08 April 2018, 11:45:42 am
Had a guy today text me for a booking calling me ?khloe?.....now my name isn?t khloe so he is clearly a serious multiple escort caller/texter  ;D

This is one of my pet hates. If I was going to part with a three figure fee I'm make sure I booked the correct person! Not only is it lazy to forget our names they would be in for a shock when they arrived.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 08 April 2018, 04:03:00 pm
Quote from: Treetop on 08 April 2018, 12:09:12 pm
This is one of my pet hates. If I was going to part with a three figure fee I'm make sure I booked the correct person! Not only is it lazy to forget our names they would be in for a shock when they arrived.

Yes when they ask you your name or call you by wrong name , I just put phone down  as its clear they have called many ladies and don't really have a clue as to who we all are by that point !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NortheastGirl on 08 April 2018, 08:04:42 pm
When they send you a dick pic and say ?let me know when you're ready
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 09 April 2018, 01:00:56 am
Hi there. Firstly apologies for the random message. I’m a landlord and have a newly renovated house in Altrincham which will shortly be available to rent. You look incredible from your profile and so I was just wondering if you might be interested? Thanks, Mark

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Funkymonkey on 09 April 2018, 09:37:18 am
Quote from: Hannaah on 09 April 2018, 01:00:56 am
Hi there. Firstly apologies for the random message. I?m a landlord and have a newly renovated house in Altrincham which will shortly be available to rent. You look incredible from your profile and so I was just wondering if you might be interested? Thanks, Mark

 ::)

What does it matter what his tenants look like? Dear me! If it was such a good property he wouldn?t need to be trawling paid sex websites to flog it. What a weirdo.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 09 April 2018, 11:02:39 am
Probably wants an arrangement free sex in exchange of rent free  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 09 April 2018, 11:54:51 am
After a lengthyish phone conversation consisting of him trying to tell me he read my ad and me trying to prise out of him what he wanted....

Twat: but do you offer extras though?
Me: I'm really not sure what you mean
Twat: just extras
Me: it's better for both of us if you just say what you're looking for so we can make sure I'm the right lady for you
Twat: what about anal?
Me: no I'm sorry I don't offer that service
Twat: well fuck off then

Damn. He sounds just great doesn't he?   :FF
Twat:
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 09 April 2018, 11:57:41 am
'Subject:   hi xxx


Do u out call to Leicester hunx'

I state specifically on my profile I don't do outcalls. Also I'm in Glasgow  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 10 April 2018, 01:23:12 pm
A call just now: "Hi love are you available for a massage now?"
Me: Yes what time are you thinking of?
Imbecile: Now
Me: Well what area are you coming from so I can give you some idea of how long it will take you
Imbecile: Barnsley
Me: Ok that will take you about 30 minutes to get to me
Imbecile: Yeah ok
Me: So how long do you want to book for?
Imbecile: 2 hours
Me: No you don't want a massage for 2 hours don't be silly (laughing)
Imbecile: Cuts phone off having realised I've realised he's a timewasting twit.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 10 April 2018, 06:08:23 pm
Yeh of course he hasn?t sent this email to anyone else! And asked for a whopping one third discount! No of course bartering isn?t rude or offensive. Yes you are a fucking cheapskate!

Hi there,

i hope this message finds you well.

I loved you presentation and the mystery that surrounded it :)

I would love to see you for an hour incall and i'am sure we could share a memorable experience.

This may sound totally rude or offensive but it is truly not my intention.
I'am willing to pay ?100 for the booking. Obviously not because of your value since i have not doubts you're worth more than what you're asking for. But it is simply because business is not as good as it used to be. I have been on this website for almost 10 years and i never asked for something like this. Again, i truly hope you don't take it the wrong way.

For the rest you can check my feedback and i hope to hear from you

V xxx/b]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Treetop on 10 April 2018, 06:17:17 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 10 April 2018, 06:08:23 pm


This may sound totally rude or offensive but it is truly not my intention.


I love when they say this, how else would we find a message like that? Flattering? Enticing? Super turned on by their cheap offensive messages? 
Makes my blood boil reading this.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: London Mature on 12 April 2018, 02:19:10 pm
Got this corker today, how could I resist? easily! I presume quite a few of us got this  ::)

Mind you he does mention cheesecake  :P :D


hello there hun firstly I would like to book you for an outcall to my hotel this week as what I want to do is rather strange. My name is Paul im 31 years old and what I would like to try is a fantasy that I have thought about a lot about doing. So I will buy the outfit if you don't have below. So i would meet you on the day and buy your outfit from the shop this will consist of a smart dress or top and blouse that you would normally buy for going out something I would buy that you will want to wear again and again. I would need you to have a swimsuit or bikini set

so for the session after we have bought all the items we go to the hotel which I have set up for my strange event. basically booking will be for 2 hrs the first is a game the second part is sex so for the first part we have to decide what you are going to wear for the game either the nice clothes I have bought you or a swimsuit. the way we will decide is quite simply I have to guess the colour of your knickers you have been wearing if I guess correct you wear the nice outfit if im wrong you wear the swimsuit meaning your nice outfit stands more of a chance you can keep it clean and wear it whenever you feel.

once we have decided this you will change into which item we decided we then go into the bathroom for the games so the reason I am paying double your rate is it could get messy and I will gladly send you a deposit upfront. in the bathroom will be a chair besides the bath and the bath will be about half full of custard (20 cartons of 1lt custard to be exact) which a cheesecake and a jug of thick porridge so quite simply we play a game there will be 20 envelopes in the bath tub we play a game of 21 cards where you need to score a minimum of 16 and not go over 21 if you go bust or not go over your minimum of 16 you had to pick an envelope out of the bath. we play this 5 times the good thing for you is only 3 out of the 20 of the envelopes have forfeits and you may not have to pick one at all if you win each round of the card game.

so the forfeits are cake sit meaning you will have to sit on a cheesecake

number 2 you will have the back of your swimsuit/knickers filled with the thick poridge

and finally number 3 means you have to sit in the bath wearing your garments and a jug will be poured on you from head height for good measure.

with these you will have 1 final card game if you get the forfeit so again you can avoid it. all in all you have a good chance of not getting messy which is the thrill for me not the messing you which is still a thrill I will be completely honest through out

after this if you got messy you will clean up and then come out wearing some nice dress or office wear with underwear set with lots of kissing and sex if you moan you may have to pick an evelope after lol also I dislike thongs and would prefer big knickers if you have them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 12 April 2018, 09:30:45 pm
Hi I got that long winded e-mail some months ago.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 13 April 2018, 12:01:59 pm
Text .
Hi see u how many times can I cum for ?30.00 ?
Save yourself the money darling and knock one out at home by yourself
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bobbisux on 18 April 2018, 07:21:07 pm
Got a message this afternoon on AW

'20 for a fuck'

 ::)

Sugarxxx, that one will be joining yours knocking one out at home!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jessica_Hannah on 19 April 2018, 11:53:36 am
Had this message a while ago.

Twat: Do you do anal?
Me: Yes I do
Twat: Can I give you anal for the entire booking?
Me: Yes, if that's what you want?
Twat: Can I pay at the end of the booking if I enjoy it? If I don't enjoy it then I've wasted my money otherwise?
Me: Tell you what, pay me at the start, if it's the best anal sex I've ever had, then I'll give you your money back.
Twat: That's not fair. You will probably lie and keep the money

****Blocked****

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 19 April 2018, 12:47:12 pm
debating if I should write a warning on this one

Hi .....

Great profile on AW.

I like to party and play BDSM with some switching. That seems to fit with you.

No doubt you have heard of ball busting. I recently saw a video of cunt busting. Basically slapping the pussy, working up the level and then gentle kicking.

Would you consider giving it a go? I’m not an animal and I respect limits. Check my feedback on AW, name Xkrman.

If you are up for it text me and I call you tomorrow.

Richard
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 19 April 2018, 02:29:19 pm
Quote from: Jessica_Hannah on 19 April 2018, 11:53:36 am
Had this message a while ago.

Twat: Do you do anal?
Me: Yes I do
Twat: Can I give you anal for the entire booking?
Me: Yes, if that's what you want?
Twat: Can I pay at the end of the booking if I enjoy it? If I don't enjoy it then I've wasted my money otherwise?
Me: Tell you what, pay me at the start, if it's the best anal sex I've ever had, then I'll give you your money back.
Twat: That's not fair. You will probably lie and keep the money

****Blocked****
oh wow, they must really think we're stupid, and yet at the same time, so thick themselves that they can't understand when you've tried to call them out on their bullshit  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 19 April 2018, 02:52:00 pm
Quote from: English natural beauty on 19 April 2018, 12:47:12 pm
debating if I should write a warning on this one

Hi .....

Great profile on AW.

I like to party and play BDSM with some switching. That seems to fit with you.

No doubt you have heard of ball busting. I recently saw a video of cunt busting. Basically slapping the pussy, working up the level and then gentle kicking.

Would you consider giving it a go? I’m not an animal and I respect limits. Check my feedback on AW, name Xkrman.

If you are up for it text me and I call you tomorrow.

Richard

I wouldn't write the warning, it could just be fantasy for all we know . Plus at least he's upfront about what he's looking for.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 19 April 2018, 02:57:29 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 19 April 2018, 02:52:00 pm
I wouldn't write the warning, it could just be fantasy for all we know . Plus at least he's upfront about what he's looking for.

He wants to kick me in the Vagina. He sounds deranged.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 19 April 2018, 04:42:07 pm
Quote from: Bobbisux on 18 April 2018, 07:21:07 pm
Got a message this afternoon on AW

'20 for a fuck'

 ::)

Sugarxxx, that one will be joining yours knocking one out at home!

Your telling me  lol .. why exhaust themselves by going out eh
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 19 April 2018, 04:45:16 pm
Can you be my mummy ?
I want to suck on your  big boobies  .
No thankyou
No you don't do mummy oh ok, can you do auntie ? .
Added to that very long  list  on my phone this afternoon.
I wouldn't want to play any guys mummy  the mind boggles !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 20 April 2018, 01:09:27 am
Quote from: English natural beauty on 19 April 2018, 02:57:29 pm
He wants to kick me in the Vagina. He sounds deranged.

He's not actually done anything though
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 20 April 2018, 01:31:50 am
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 19 April 2018, 04:45:16 pm
Can you be my mummy ?
I want to suck on your  big boobies  .
No thankyou
No you don't do mummy oh ok, can you do auntie ? .
Added to that very long  list  on my phone this afternoon.
I wouldn't want to play any guys mummy  the mind boggles !!

I actually enjoy those type of bookings!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 20 April 2018, 09:33:58 pm
On the phone today, edited for waffle & bullshit

Twat - Please can you send me a face photo before I book?
Me - Fuck no I never do that for my security.
Twat - Oh, okay then. (Pause) Maybe we could just meet up then, like for a chat or something?
Me - You want to meet me for free? This is my business pal, pays my bills etc.
Twat - No! I didn't mean that!
Me - Right.
Twat - I mean, like for a drink or something?
Me - No.
Twat - Oh, all right then. (Pause) Can you tell me, what celebrity do you look most like?
Me - Hangs up.

In hindsight, I should have cut off after the first request.

Twat.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 21 April 2018, 12:23:53 am
What is this thing of asking which celebrity we look like?

I've had a spate of this recently. Erm I look like myself pal because I'm an individual human being?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 21 April 2018, 05:24:54 pm
Why do we have to look like celebrities  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 21 April 2018, 05:35:20 pm
Cause that's who they wank off to I guess  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 21 April 2018, 06:04:42 pm
I think in this twat's case it was more because he 'needed' to see what I looked like in advance. Plus to give him wank material. Plus he was a cunt.

I should have thought of somebody really rough and said that... ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 21 April 2018, 06:50:02 pm
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 21 April 2018, 06:04:42 pm
I think in this twat's case it was more because he 'needed' to see what I looked like in advance. Plus to give him wank material. Plus he was a cunt.

I should have thought of somebody really rough and said that... ;D

Lol ... Justin beiber now that would have given him a suprise !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jo-jo on 22 April 2018, 09:57:03 am
Phone rings.

HIM:hello, you are so sexy I wanna fuck you
ME: Would you like to make an appointment?
HIM:Yeah, if you want
ME:  ::) what time suits you? Im available after 8pm
HIM:yeah thats ok baby i just want to fuck you and lick your feet
ME: ::) is that a 30 minute booking at 8pm then
HIM:yeah if thats what you want
ME: Its not what I want. Its what you want. Can you let me know if the appoinment offered suits?
HIM:not sure depends on what you want

ME: hangs up. twat.

Checked him number on UM, turns out he is a serial tw/ no show. Trust  your instincts always!!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 22 April 2018, 02:09:52 pm
Hi your British your mature and big I can't believe I've found you
(I cant believe he found me either )  ::)
I'm coming all the way from central London when u free i want 3 hours then says  I just want oral  please !!
Sorry I don't do oral sex for 3 hours
Diverts conversation away from bookimg time to ask for address  which I don't give out so easily.
Asks if do stuff that's not advertised its a red flag but he's pouring out the charm like its running out .
Says he'll check his travel arrangements , strange name for a cock he's  clearly wanking
I blocked because he has no intention of arriving just cuming  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 22 April 2018, 06:42:27 pm
Today's gems by text

1am

Twat "Quotes my name"
Gets autoresponse
Twat "Outcall"

 ??? ??? ???

This afternoon
Twat "I want lick your pussy baby"

And saving the best for last...

This morning
Freak "Hi there how much for an hour with a teenage boy?"
 :o :o :o :-X :-X :-X

No no no no no

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 23 April 2018, 11:23:16 am
Made a booking asking for me to be submissive without taking the time to read my profile and my enjoys list. Then sends me this as his request.




I m looking forward to create a sub-slut scene. You are my sub/slave I bought from an auction. I want you to be collard with a lead. can you have suspenders on , with your posh lingerie set on. I want my sub to follow my orders , lick my body, my feet , my dick, most importantly my ass , I love getting rimmed, sub show me ur licking skill. I would like to spank hard my sub, also face slapping is my fav. Would like her to see in pain. I would like to use implements which u are comfortable. I would like my sub to be on her knees , Facefucked hard & choked & slapped , ruining her lovely makeup. Fucking her pussy & ass hard , pulling her hair ......verbal humiliation.../ calling her names ...!

She is not allowed to not follow my instructions, I would like to see your Bdsm kits , use few things , gag , blindfold , restrains , has implements, wang ., any scratcing tool....

Ok above is the rough idea , let me know if you are Oki with it. I would like loads of rimming on me,wet deep facefucking , real degradation.....& rough fucking ....!

Can you give rough idea of your location , so that I can plan ahead.

Xxxx looking forward to see u


Booking declined. He sounds like an ass.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 23 April 2018, 01:13:35 pm
So far today I've had an email from a 22 year old asking if I do hardsports  ::)

Then a text asking for an hour at 2pm, all agreed then he asks if I do 'xtras'.. I ask what he means and he says "Anal deep throat and sex unprotected"  ???

Then a call asking for a quickie when I said its £50 he says ok I'll leave it!

Think its time to sack the day off  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 23 April 2018, 04:44:15 pm
Email started off potentially quite nice then...
Can I cum in your pussy can u rub it in.?
No thanks . :-X :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 24 April 2018, 04:38:32 pm
Hi sub party

..what  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TandPJS on 25 April 2018, 10:11:17 am
first chestnut of the morning

' hi miss i'm offering 150euros for the night, in (city not even in the same bloody department as me), i live alone in a private place"

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 27 April 2018, 01:26:13 am
Just when I thought I'd heard it all.

'What are your rates?'
'They start from 60'
'So, 60 to creampie your ass? How much to cream pie all 3 holes? And also I'll probably be at it for a good few hours so price ?'

 :-X

I don't offer anal. I don't offer any unprotected services. Holes? And I don't know why the last sentence was the one that annoyed me the most but it made me want to punch hs teeth out!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jo-jo on 27 April 2018, 02:05:50 am
Thes one that call you, You answer and they go 'You available now? ', or 'How much are you' . NOT EVEN A HELLO. That is definitely not how to book an escort, or how to speak to people. Manners cost nothing.  >:(


OR

The ones that call you; you answer, then they hang up soon as you say hello. They then proceed to text you ---"you wanna meet?" or something similar.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 27 April 2018, 02:14:51 am
Quote from: jo-jo on 27 April 2018, 02:05:50 am
Thes one that call you, You answer and they go 'You available now? ', or 'How much are you' . NOT EVEN A HELLO. That is definitely not how to book an escort, or how to speak to people. Manners cost nothing.  >:(


OR

The ones that call you; you answer, then they hang up soon as you say hello. They then proceed to text you ---"you wanna meet?" or something similar.  ::)

Yeah "how much are you" really grinds my gears.

A guy the other day asked "are you open for service ". I responded that I'm not a car. ..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jo-jo on 27 April 2018, 02:39:17 am
Quote from: Curvygal on 27 April 2018, 02:14:51 am
A guy the other day asked "are you open for service ". I responded that I'm not a car. ..

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D great thinking with this response.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 27 April 2018, 10:47:51 pm
Twat on phone, waffling on, clearly pissed. Wants to meet me tonight at an outcall to his hotel. It was unfortunate for him because it turns out he is in the same hotel as I am right now and am I fucking grateful I didn't tell him where I was!

Gutted though because if he had been sober and normal it would have been very handy...

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Funkymonkey on 28 April 2018, 09:28:46 am
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 27 April 2018, 10:47:51 pm
Twat on phone, waffling on, clearly pissed. Wants to meet me tonight at an outcall to his hotel. It was unfortunate for him because it turns out he is in the same hotel as I am right now and am I fucking grateful I didn't tell him where I was!

Gutted though because if he had been sober and normal it would have been very handy...

 ;D ;D ;D

Haha I did two outcalls one after the other on the same hotel floor once. Makes me laugh how guys are so paranoid about hotels but literally the person down the corridor is doing the exact same thing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay1996 on 28 April 2018, 11:41:03 am
I keep getting this guy text me persistently :

'Hi I want to be your black slave N****R"

He's literally been texting me for months ::)

Never replied.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kazzle on 28 April 2018, 12:04:10 pm
Quote
He's literally been texting me for months

He probably cums every time he presses send.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 29 April 2018, 07:27:49 pm
Quote from: Kazzle on 28 April 2018, 12:04:10 pm
He probably cums every time he presses send.  ::)

And he's probably a white guy with ginger hair.

today's gem:

Can I lay you down on the bed and then fuck your mouth hard and rough deep and making you gag and then you swallow my cum? Can I come and rape you for 2 hours?

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jo-jo on 29 April 2018, 08:05:20 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 29 April 2018, 07:27:49 pm

today's gem:

Can I lay you down on the bed and then fuck your mouth hard and rough deep and making you gag and then you swallow my cum? Can I come and rape you for 2 hours?

 ::)

I wonder truly if he expects you to jump at this unmissable opportunity  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 29 April 2018, 09:53:10 pm
Just now tonight dick head.

Dick head texts: Hi babe. can you do this. Wear some one else cum facial on your face before we meet and give me blow job.?

Now as I am due for my reds (period ) I replied to the dick head: F...k No - I saved as dick head and deleted text.

I don't even do facial  so the dick fool did not read my profile.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 29 April 2018, 10:02:50 pm
That's gross! How long did he think you would be hanging around with spunk all over your face?!  ???

I've never understood facials, I mean I see why a guy likes it but for me it would piss me right off having to wash my fucking hair & dry it all again. And I'm told it stings like fuck in the eyes. Fair play to you girls that do it!  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 29 April 2018, 10:35:05 pm
The thought of it makes me want to vomit  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 30 April 2018, 01:19:53 am
Quote from: Funkymonkey on 28 April 2018, 09:28:46 am
Haha I did two outcalls one after the other on the same hotel floor once. Makes me laugh how guys are so paranoid about hotels but literally the person down the corridor is doing the exact same thing.

I've done this before too! Fine at the time but I was very paranoid at breakfast the next morning!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JellyBean on 30 April 2018, 10:09:47 am
Quote from: Curvygal on 30 April 2018, 01:19:53 am
I've done this before too! Fine at the time but I was very paranoid at breakfast the next morning!

That made me laugh, I did an outcall to a guy on the next floor to mine twice  , I had a good peek in the breakfast room each morning and it seemed clear, went to the buffet on my last day and he is standing right next to me ;D
He looked at me like he saw an alien or something. He didn’t know I was staying there.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jo-jo on 30 April 2018, 11:39:38 am
Phonecall:

HIM: Hey baby, How much
ME: Please don't call me baby. What service are you after
HIM:Oh sorry. I want to fuck you babyyyyy.
ME: please dont call me babyyyy.
HIM:Can I see you at 2 pm babyyyyyy?
ME: No. I hang up. Save him a NO NO NO.

(extra 'yyyy' to emphasize the way he said baby. Made me want to gag)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 30 April 2018, 02:16:03 pm
By text. All possible translations welcome!

"Sex Richard"

then

"Sex I am smoking Richard"

That's it. The mind boggles!  :D :D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lola xxx on 30 April 2018, 02:24:28 pm
I had a text the other day that simply said.....how much to watch you take a shit?  I'm guessing they where taking the piss, but wtf if not.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 30 April 2018, 02:28:10 pm
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 30 April 2018, 02:16:03 pm
By text. All possible translations welcome!

"Sex Richard"

then

"Sex I am smoking Richard"

That's it. The mind boggles!  :D :D :D

I'm having a shitty day, and that made me LOL!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 30 April 2018, 10:09:47 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 30 April 2018, 02:28:10 pm
I'm having a shitty day, and that made me LOL!

Richard was happy to oblige!  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 30 April 2018, 10:27:05 pm
Quote from: jo-jo on 30 April 2018, 11:39:38 am
Phonecall:

HIM: Hey baby, How much
ME: Please don't call me baby. What service are you after
HIM:Oh sorry. I want to fuck you babyyyyy.
ME: please dont call me babyyyy.
HIM:Can I see you at 2 pm babyyyyyy?
ME: No. I hang up. Save him a NO NO NO.


(extra 'yyyy' to emphasize the way he said baby. Made me want to gag)

Anyone calls me baby darling honey is always a timewaster
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 30 April 2018, 10:34:43 pm
A text just now from someone I've already told my available times to previously:

"ARE YOU FREE"

"NO I'M EXPENSIVE"

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jo-jo on 30 April 2018, 10:50:07 pm
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 30 April 2018, 02:16:03 pm
By text. All possible translations welcome!

"Sex Richard"

then

"Sex I am smoking Richard"

That's it. The mind boggles!  :D :D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 30 April 2018, 10:52:28 pm
Hi, you look like you know what you want I'm a late 40's bloke from (an area) with a non interested partner where sex is. I'm a decent looking bloke in decent nick, very clean and non smoker What are your rates xx


I haven't the heart to tell him my rates are the same for all, regardless of whether he looks and smells like Rab C nesbitt or Johnny Depp  :P  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 01 May 2018, 02:14:35 pm
Blokes that hang up the minute you say you aren't going to be available for when they want. It takes 10 seconds to say 'Never mind, another time maybe' or something like that and it is so rude just to hang up without a goodbye.

Those ones get saved as 'Do not answer' so they'll never get a booking with me. My view is if they don't have basic manners I don't want them in my flat.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 02 May 2018, 02:19:10 pm
One I turned down this afternoon  because he was totally clueless and may as well be a timewaster
Calls up says err don't  really know what I want maybe roleplay kind of thing, don't think I know .
I don't do this that often, not sure at which point I said
Ok I think it's best you decided what you really want before calling escorts bye .
He was still rambling on when I cut the call 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucy36 on 03 May 2018, 08:29:52 pm
This came through on mine and hubbies work phone

Hi I'm Peter, was wondering if you could roleplay where you put me on your kitchen worktop and cover me in olive oil and treat me like a piece of meat

We replied with are you sure you'll fit in you'd fit in our oven.

Where do they get these ideas from?? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 04 May 2018, 02:17:57 pm
Sent at 4.16am: How much half hour shag

How charming!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 04 May 2018, 05:45:24 pm
Quote from: Lucy36 on 03 May 2018, 08:29:52 pm
This came through on mine and hubbies work phone

Hi I'm Peter, was wondering if you could roleplay where you put me on your kitchen worktop and cover me in olive oil and treat me like a piece of meat

We replied with are you sure you'll fit in you'd fit in our oven.

Where do they get these ideas from?? ???

Oh I had him years ago in Brighton. Think it was sundried tomatoes he wanted to be covered in. I said only if he brought his own because I shop at Aldi and they don't do them :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 04 May 2018, 06:24:21 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 04 May 2018, 05:45:24 pm
Oh I had him years ago in Brighton. Think it was sundried tomatoes he wanted to be covered in. I said only if he brought his own because I shop at Aldi and they don't do them :D

Yeah, he's been around for ever, although I just delete them without bothering to reply. His most common one was wanting to be sold to a Chinese takeaway ::).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 04 May 2018, 11:26:14 pm
Quote from: amy on 04 May 2018, 06:24:21 pm
Yeah, he's been around for ever, although I just delete them without bothering to reply. His most common one was wanting to be sold to a Chinese takeaway ::).
Yep had him text me that and my mate within minutes of each other!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 05 May 2018, 05:38:41 pm
[Subject: PLEASE CONSIDER
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi
Looks very impressive !!
I would really enjoy giving you a lot of oral and rimming to you only,in various positions,as wellas gentle suckling
I do not require penetration so offer £X for 2 hour booking
hope you may consider tomorrow afternoon
Regards
Dx
english

No you can’t offer me £60 under my 2 hr fee to see me or even get a reply!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 06 May 2018, 06:48:58 am
Quote from: SimplySinful on 05 May 2018, 05:38:41 pm
[Subject: PLEASE CONSIDER
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi
Looks very impressive !!
I would really enjoy giving you a lot of oral and rimming to you only,in various positions,as wellas gentle suckling
I do not require penetration so offer £X for 2 hour booking
hope you may consider tomorrow afternoon
Regards
Dx
english

No you can’t offer me £60 under my 2 hr fee to see me or even get a reply!

I'm hearing a LOT of people trying to haggle lately...I know we all get the odd haggler anyway but I'm talking a dramatic increase
..I'm prepared to offer xx' I honestly feel like saying it's not up to.you is it', if I go into tesso and say ok  I know my shopping comes to £70 but I'm prepared to offer you 45 they're not going to let me pay that are they?   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nora batty on 06 May 2018, 04:34:40 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 06 May 2018, 06:48:58 am
I'm hearing a LOT of people trying to haggle lately...I know we all get the odd haggler anyway but I'm talking a dramatic increase
..I'm prepared to offer xx' I honestly feel like saying it's not up to.you is it', if I go into tesso and say ok  I know my shopping comes to £70 but I'm prepared to offer you 45 they're not going to let me pay that are they?   :FF

Agreed, I get a lot of those telling me how much they will give me for a certain amount of time.  I always double my fee over the phone, then when they tell me I don't advertise for that much, I sarcastically tell them, oh you can read then, so your just an entitled prick, jog on.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jo-jo on 07 May 2018, 10:09:25 am
I had a 30 minutes booking from this client I was touring in April.

He must have called and text me over 20 times since I left asking when I was going back.

I have then decided to tour the place again and I have had no less than30 calls from this guy.  He was ok enough when i saw him but this has made me block him. Why would you call and text an escort 30 times???

Would any of you see this guy?

update
The tour was quite slow so decided to see him. Quite a normal ok guy, when I mentioned the above, he said his phone was broken and it kept calling me over and over.  ???

inwardly:(ha ha, yeah ok mate. and I fell off the stupid tree)
outwardly: Oh dear, better get yourself a new phone , smile. (booking was over by this point and I was happily showing him the door.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bobbisux on 07 May 2018, 10:22:41 am
I suppose it goes with the territory of the job to a certain extent but I'm getting seriously pissed off with requests for appointments at times when I have made it clear in profile/advert that I am not available. One guy on AW asked for 'out of hours' appointments on 4 different occasions.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 07 May 2018, 10:30:31 am
Bobbi it is also a bone of contentment with me too ..sick of it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jo-jo on 08 May 2018, 07:09:58 pm
him: are you available at xx time
(ive seen him once before and he was one that I won't see again. not my cup of tea. He walked in dressed and smeling like a homeless guy and was carrying millions of bags and rucksacks and bags. He was too much work wanting role play and then changing his mind, wanting to suck my tits, (YUCK) and it took me ages to air out room after he left!!!!!  :-X I hadn't started using UM app at that point and soon as I got the app I looked him up and surprise surprise ??? Not a bloody chance mate. Ill sooner go back home with no money than see him again )

me: not available
him:how about at 7pm? 7.15?

me: not available all evening.
him: maybe 8pm? 9pm? 9.15? (10 texts of similar nature)

I ignore texts.

Him:But I took the day off so I could see you!! if you dont see me then I will have to book another escort.[/b]

ME: I block him.

Now, 1.why would you take a day off to see an escort for 30 minutes?? and 2. Why would you be so bold as to assume that I would definitely see you even without speaking to me first?

poor me. some poor unsuspecting WG is going to have to deal with your smelly, bag wielding and strange self. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DarcyLady on 08 May 2018, 11:31:04 pm
I seem to be getting slot of ‘do you offer a blow and go service?’  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jo-jo on 09 May 2018, 01:11:22 am
I am usually able to hold my cool but Ive had a day full of TW and running low on that patience juice.

This twit calls me, asks to see me NOW.  :FF then lots of questions already answered in my profile, how much, what services do you offer ETC where are you etc. He obviously didn't bother to read my profile and I was getting annoyed.I say, "I don't think I will be seeing you" and hang up.

He texts me back  "I dont think I want to see you either" ???

I am trying my best not to text him back something rude. Usually IDGAF but this special brand of stupid has just got my blood boiling. Maybe its PMS.

Fucking twits. We dont get paid enough to deal with all this crap. :(

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 09 May 2018, 11:25:11 am
Hi Hannah

I noticed you have posted that you specialise is being submissive

Is this something that you would consider as a D/s relationship ?

Basically I am on Fetlife (not sure if you know it or not) and am currently looking for a.submissive play partner for regular D/s fun

Obviously Fetlife is a forum for like minded people whereas AW is all busoness based .... so if not something you are interested in then I fully understand

If however you are interested in having a Master/Dom for regular fun I would love to hear back x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 09 May 2018, 12:29:07 pm
Email from a guy asking for unprotected sex because he could be trusted .?
As he is married and has kids and never done this kind of thing before and had 2 feedbacks . ::)
Reported as spam no reply
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 09 May 2018, 12:53:42 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 09 May 2018, 12:29:07 pm
Email from a guy asking for unprotected sex because he could be trusted .?
As he is married and has kids and never done this kind of thing before and had 2 feedbacks . ::)
Reported as spam no reply

I'm certainly no moral crusader but a married guy specifically seeking bb? Lucky wife...  :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 09 May 2018, 01:47:37 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 09 May 2018, 01:56:07 pm
Quote from: 80s synthetic on 09 May 2018, 01:47:37 pm
Phone buzzing.

Me: Hello?
Caller: Can you send me the address?
Me: Why would I do that?
Caller: ... (silence and hangs up)

Oh and your meant to wait in while he's deciding right .. no thanks !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 09 May 2018, 01:58:48 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 09 May 2018, 01:56:07 pm
Oh and your meant to wait in while he's deciding right .. no thanks !!
I started posting with Viva Street, so I should be able to contribute to this thread more  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 10 May 2018, 09:38:03 am
Text this morning.
Hi I'm trying to call you (no ones called)
We spoke some days ago do you remember about me visiting you today. I informed him I prefer calls to which he didn't bother calling.
Next text same number have you blocked me?
No blocked notifications for how strange!!!
Never contacted me b4 today even
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seleranda on 10 May 2018, 02:37:05 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 09 May 2018, 11:25:11 am
Hi Hannah

I noticed you have posted that you specialise is being submissive

Is this something that you would consider as a D/s relationship ?

Basically I am on Fetlife (not sure if you know it or not) and am currently looking for a.submissive play partner for regular D/s fun

Obviously Fetlife is a forum for like minded people whereas AW is all busoness based .... so if not something you are interested in then I fully understand

If however you are interested in having a Master/Dom for regular fun I would love to hear back x

So wrong in so many ways. Sounds harmless and all, but he is seriously deluded. You probably already are in a relationship (D/s or not, but most likely it is), and why would you be interested in a free relationship with some random guy messaging you via a pay for sex site?

Offering submissive services I can only imagine the kind of bs men tell/ask you!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Funkymonkey on 10 May 2018, 02:52:12 pm
The people thinking they're being so clever. Asking for bareback then when I say I won't be meeting them they say 'oh I was just checking you didn't do it on the sly, I wouldn't want to meet someone like that.' And I don't want to meet someone like you...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JustAnotherHooker on 10 May 2018, 03:21:20 pm
Quote from: Funkymonkey on 10 May 2018, 02:52:12 pm
The people thinking they're being so clever. Asking for bareback then when I say I won't be meeting them they say 'oh I was just checking you didn't do it on the sly, I wouldn't want to meet someone like that.' And I don't want to meet someone like you...


Yes their reasons for asking if you do bareback are not very original and he obviously read the same book ‘Hiring escorts for dummies’, as all the other dummies!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 10 May 2018, 03:59:34 pm
Quote from: seleranda on 10 May 2018, 02:37:05 pm
So wrong in so many ways. Sounds harmless and all, but he is seriously deluded. You probably already are in a relationship (D/s or not, but most likely it is), and why would you be interested in a free relationship with some random guy messaging you via a pay for sex site?

Offering submissive services I can only imagine the kind of bs men tell/ask you!

I was tempted to write him a novel explaining that's not how any relationships are founded, especially d/s ones, but instead settled on telling him I am already in a happy and commited d/s relationship with my partner. Unsurprisingly I never heard back.  ::) Most clients are sensible with the sub requests but some of them I want to hit with a metal chair.

Todays gem:
Hi, where are you based?
I am near xx.
Are you available after 2pm for 15 mins?
Yes, I can book you in for 2.15?
How much and what's your address?
(While eye rolling and no longer believing he was genuine.) My postcode is xx, it is xx.

Never heard back until 2.40, informing me sorry he only just finished work.
Not a problem, between your first and last text I managed to see 3 regs - one who I gave your time slot.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 11 May 2018, 08:46:37 am
I've been getting lots of young guys calling askimg for foot fetish it's so obvious they are timewasters same conversation .
Urr do you do roleplays ,what outfits are you wearing?  I'm just wearing the one I got on  ::)
,I've never done this kind of thing before (yes you dick you have )
Urr do you do foot worship luv ?
I just ask them which foot they want ..they  get confused lol
What do u mean ? !!
Bye bye .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 12 May 2018, 04:02:23 pm
Had a guy book for 3pm (I told him I was free from 3pm onwards). Once I text the postcode he asked could he have a duo and if I enjoyed my job  ::) I responded asking him to please keep the questions booking related, but he's free to ask away once he arrived. Was sounding like he wasn't going to show up so I asked him to confirm as I had other enquiries and he cancelled as he said he'd be a bit rushed for 3pm. Why book a time you can't make, especially when I said I was free from 3pm?

Luckily I filled the time slots but god.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DarcyLady on 15 May 2018, 05:16:54 pm
I got this text last week -

'Hi, can you do, anal with come inside you, bareback sex, sex no condom, swallow, cim, full come inside pussy or ass, hardsports, watersports, unprotected sex ?'

Disease-ridden, vile creature  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TandPJS on 15 May 2018, 10:12:06 pm
Quote from: seleranda on 10 May 2018, 02:37:05 pm
So wrong in so many ways. Sounds harmless and all, but he is seriously deluded. You probably already are in a relationship (D/s or not, but most likely it is), and why would you be interested in a free relationship with some random guy messaging you via a pay for sex site?

Offering submissive services I can only imagine the kind of bs men tell/ask you!


i advertised for sub services for about a month and got inundated with crap like this, and worse. Did get one ace client out of it though, but not worth the hassle, i've had to take time off due to stress....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 16 May 2018, 03:44:25 am
I agree with the others who have said loads of foot fetish requests just now ....wonder what that's all coming from?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 16 May 2018, 09:20:56 pm
A joker on the phone earlier saying he only saw my name and nothing else so could I give details etc, I told him its mainly gfe I do, then the price and what services in particular was he looking for? He said could he lick me, yes fine then do I do owo, yes as long as you have a wash on arrival. Then he says "I've got a really big dick its 11 inches" Me: "Yes fine as long as YOU CAN FIT into a condom for sex" ...Him: "Yes I can fit into one"  Yeah course you can   ::)   ::)


I couldn't stop laughing imagining a tiny little man climbing inside a condom  ;D He's now in my phone as Mr Tiny. lol


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 17 May 2018, 11:51:16 am
Quote from: Curvygal on 16 May 2018, 03:44:25 am
I agree with the others who have said loads of foot fetish requests just now ....wonder what that's all coming from?

My last booking with someone I've seen before with just a normal GFE this time wanted to suck my toes and lick my own wee off them. I peed in a cup and dipped my toes in  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DaisyDuck on 17 May 2018, 01:29:19 pm
I got this hilarious email on aw today:



1) do u enjoy alot of very passionate deep snogging with deep tongues

2) would u enjoy sharing a cuban cigar with me

3) do u enjoy receiving oral

4) how lo g are u in (xyz Town) for

5) what car do u drive as i loke to judge a ladys personality


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 17 May 2018, 03:51:07 pm
Text
Babe. U  can give me your address I can come over later .
Of course I would just give out my address and sit around waiting I've nothing better to do with my time !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvygal on 18 May 2018, 12:34:31 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 17 May 2018, 03:51:07 pm
Text
Babe. U  can give me your address I can come over later .
Of course I would just give out my address and sit around waiting I've nothing better to do with my time !!!

Oh I get stacks of these and they really cracking me up. As if I'm going to just give my address to every random that sends me a badly written text or email.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 18 May 2018, 05:13:36 pm
Quote from: Curvygal on 18 May 2018, 12:34:31 pm
Oh I get stacks of these and they really cracking me up. As if I'm going to just give my address to every random that sends me a badly written text or email.

I sometimes reply to these with "Sure thing, anonymous stranger! What could possibly go wrong?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 18 May 2018, 05:22:00 pm
I've had some right corkers lately. Think it's because I've toured several new areas in quick succession.

Quote
Hi hope you are well!
I am after a dirty sweaty ass rubbed in my face under your control? Please let me know if interested thank you

Quote
Firstly can I say great profile, and hope you are well.

A little about me, I am an overweight sissy who loves to wear ladies lingerie. I have webcammed lots but never met anyone, I am thinking about popping my escort cherry so to speak. I would like a mistress for mild pain, humiliation, spitting and maybe even being urinated on. We could meet in a pub (I could have lingerie under my clothes if you wish) to start with and see if you will accept such a pathetic creature as myself.

Sure I'd love to sit in a pub, for free, with a fat guy who's wearing women's lingerie under his clothes. Takes me right back to the 90s when I was dating a functioning alcoholic closet transvestite who regularly got so drunk he wet the bed. Lovely.

Quote
Hi Anne Marie, I'm [name], 39.
Please can you shit on me?
I look forward to hearing from you. Xx

Thanks for helping me stick to my diet.

Quote
GENUINE, HANDSOME male escort LOOKING for a like minded GIRL for MF or MFF Services to be offered TOGETHER here on AW.. WEB CAM or for PRIVATE VIDEOS is another option?
Do you know someone who does? Im Located in the Bristol area and I am willing to cover a 2 hour travel radius for OUT CALLS.. ALL QUESTIONS OR REQUESTS are welcome and further information can be answered via AW upon request... JD x

Because I'm spontaneous like that..

His Summary line on his profile says TALL DARK AND HANDSOME yet has no photos. Yeah I'm sure you are love.

Quote
Hi, what an amazing body you have. Love your bum so much.
Please may I know if by any chance you can offer hardsports, I know it's not on your regular enjoy list. Just wondering if you can do it for extra. Check my review and see I have good rating.

I would like a session centered around mild domination
I will be blindfolded, and made to amuse my mistress, while my nipples are being gently stroked ( turns me on so much).

Scenarios we could play, which do you fancy?

1) Mistress could poo in the toilet and have me fetch it with mouth.

2) Mistress could poo straight in my mouth.

3) Mistress could poo on a plate and spoon feed me.

4) Mistress could poo on a plate and make me eat it while observing correct table manners.

5) mistress could make me a shit sandwich and instruct me to eat it.

6) Mistress could make me a shitty smoothie, and feed it to me.

7) Mistress could insert chocolate bar in her bum to melt and have the slave suck it out.
Can be done with banana, and grapes.

8) Get me to order my favourite Chinese and poo on the dished meal for me to consume. Blindfolded or not. Can be done with cake etc.

9) ice sundae, mistress could poo in a glass to be top with a couple of scoops of ice cream to be relish and devour. Can be done with cream in place of ice cream. Best if the poo is soft .

10)

We are only limited by our imagination. But I have great experience in hardsports and do like to push my limits.

Regards

Toilet slave

More help with my diet! Thanks!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 18 May 2018, 06:34:22 pm
Toilet slave has put me off so many things lol!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 18 May 2018, 06:48:12 pm
Loads of young Asian guys asking for foot Fetish time wasters all over London. One so keen to try and fail wasting my time he's said he will travel long way just to see me lol. I think if I said I was in Dover he would say yeah I'll be there babe...
He just ended up on the block list  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 19 May 2018, 06:17:42 pm
Guy calls up asking if I know any other escorts he could book as I'm not free.
I said to him how am I supposed to know them stupid  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 22 May 2018, 08:43:59 am
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 22 May 2018, 08:49:37 am
Quote from: 80s synthetic on 22 May 2018, 08:43:59 am
From an email asking for a booking:

Can you get this session down to [£50 less than my rate]? That would be great thanks its my first time.
[/quote
It's always their first time every time!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 22 May 2018, 09:57:23 am
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 22 May 2018, 11:12:36 am
A guy texted first thing at 5.45 a.m. 'Anal?'.

He can't even put a sentence together!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 22 May 2018, 11:34:21 am
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 22 May 2018, 11:42:12 am
Get this a lot
'location'

Drives me crazy !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 23 May 2018, 01:50:31 pm
Moron 1: Hi available asap £30 15 mins bj cim owo?
My rates are not negotiable.
5 mins away up to u x

Pass. I'd like to know how he knows he is five minutes away though since I have never seen him as he was already saved as a no for another reason!

Moron 2: Free for a quick face fuck?
Charmed, really.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 27 May 2018, 11:35:47 am
Hi babe wish you had a price no condom ride.
It's my birthday tomorrow.
Text special lol  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 27 May 2018, 08:12:37 pm
Subject: booking  enquiry
-----------------------------------------------------------------
My name is mark
I am 54 years old just an average guy with a real horny mind I have found your adultwork profile and, I am interested in coming to see you.

I hope you don't mind me being up front with exactly what I'm looking for. There are so many out there who say one thing and mean another and the photograph bears no resemblance to the individual at all

penetrative sex I can take or leave as I can sometimes struggle to maintain an erection they say Viagra helps and there are various aids, but not got round to trying any yet.

However I do love licking pussy, absolutely love it and I love Cum on a sexy body seeing you wet with cum is a massive turn on I also love a nice perfume and a woman who wants to enjoy herself

my main interest though is removing sexy underwear (nice colours other than black or white) from a sexy and horny girl who has a cheeky smile and doesn't mind holding her ankles while I tease her nipples and give her pussy a good licking till she is soaking I would like a woman who is gentle and likes to kiss and caress and likes to engage in role play from time to time. Times are hard financially and erotic encounters need to be saved for and I need to know that the person I am meeting is happy with what I want to do so many say they are but then they don't

so what am I looking for quite simply I want a submissive sexy girl friend experience with all the kisses and everything but also a dirty raunchy slut type service, As I said I am not that bothered about penetrative sex I may well bang you like a drum if the mood takes us but I do want to suck your pussy till its soaking wet and I want to do it more than once. I love eating pussy. I want my tongue and fingers to make you cum hard

I want to come more than once too. The first come is usually easy and over fairly quick, but I want someone who is interested enough to work hard to get the second cum and isn't afraid of getting sucked and being wet. It would be great if you had a good dildo to keep your pussy throbbing while your getting me hard for round two

I know this is probably not every ones cup of tea but it's better to be straight from the beginning I want a woman who is not bothered by being covered in cum and pussy juice and not afraid to taste the stuff,

I want a woman who is not a clock watcher and enjoys the erotic
I want a woman who is horny enough to keep my cock hard and tease as much cum from it as possible in our time together. If you don't like being sucked and cum and you are not interested in getting my cock hard and keeping it hard then the plan won't work, but if you are adventurous and love oral and time is not an issue then maybe we could explore some fantasies maybe you are a naughty schoolgirl who needs teaching a lesson or a girl next door who needs to pay the landlord.

But if I cant get to a position to shag you then certainly a sucking and licking will be on offer would love to see how wet I could get you after finger blasting your pussy and eating you out

I hope you don't mind me being so frank but I am looking to have regular encounters so hope to hear from you if you might be interested. If not I'm sorry to have bothered you

If you are the what times are you available in the evenings and do you work late

mark x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: OffTheGridXX on 28 May 2018, 04:06:49 am
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 27 May 2018, 11:35:47 am
Hi babe wish you had a price no condom ride.
It's my birthday tomorrow.
Text special lol  ::)

I had an enquiry today for a booking. From my kinky.nl profile there is no face photo (I'm scared of people from uni) only body photos. He requested my face photo because he is special, we will spend amazing time together, I am beautiful inside out and's his BIRTHDAY today. I'm totally like - are you effing kidding me and in what universe do you feel entitled? Timewaster. Blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 28 May 2018, 01:22:21 pm
Not worked much this year due to illness, so haven't had my number on AW. Today I decided too.

Twat: Are you in X, in Central London?

Me: What did my text say? (he'd just had my location in a text, as well of course as it being on my profile)

Twat: (looks at text): ah sorry I'm new here

Me: (with great restraint): It's all there isn't it, so I'll hang up then seeing as I'm nowhere near.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GG on 28 May 2018, 04:29:42 pm
Quote from: orientalanne on 28 May 2018, 04:06:49 am
I had an enquiry today for a booking. From my kinky.nl profile there is no face photo (I'm scared of people from uni) only body photos. He requested my face photo because he is special, we will spend amazing time together, I am beautiful inside out and's his BIRTHDAY today. I'm totally like - are you effing kidding me and in what universe do you feel entitled? Timewaster. Blocked.

He needs to celebrate his birthdays while he can because if he carries om with the risky services he may not have many left lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: OffTheGridXX on 28 May 2018, 09:12:43 pm
Quote from: gina g on 28 May 2018, 04:29:42 pm
He needs to celebrate his birthdays while he can because if he carries om with the risky services he may not have many left lol

LOL. Indeed!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 28 May 2018, 10:13:34 pm
It's usually their birthday every day!!!!
And as a coming of age gift a condom is a worthwhile investment in the long run  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 29 May 2018, 12:07:33 am
Hi beautiful
Gotta just say you look amazing stunning even
And may I suggest little bit naughty too lol
I'm a down to earth white British lad 35.
Not that far from xx
Even after u finish later and I'll pay for taxi for u... Why don't you come to mine
Home alone and very horny
Completely desperate to lick your pussy for as long as you tell me to
Honestly I've had a hard on for about 6 hrs

 if you are not busy and fancy being naked and naughty. Let us know x

Never mind I don't even offer paid outcalls...just what I want - to finish and then go to his. And of course I have no other plans when I've finished for the day and I'm so lucky he will EVEN pay for a taxi for me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 29 May 2018, 06:10:25 pm
"Oh hello can I come over for say for an hour"

Me " I'm not sure yet just walked in the door after an epic train journey due to the floods etc can you give me half hour and call me back as I just need to chill for five"

Him "oh I'm not a public transport kind of guy I've never used it "

Me " well the roads are flooded too but hey let's leave it"

Him " oh can't you even do half an hour"

Nope saved in phone as snob! Plus he doesn't use public transport but does .........lmfao " oh how contradictorary"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 30 May 2018, 06:13:52 pm
E-mail and call from a guy very keen for me to wear his fur coat I did tell him i don't wear fur yet he told me Please and could he leave it at my home as he thinks he might be a regular. .
Where do they spring from  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 31 May 2018, 07:34:55 am
Phonecall last night from an older sounding idiot who asked too many questions.

Idiot: Do you like being played with?
Me: Define being played with (as if I was some sort of toy doll ::))
Idiot: I like to play with fanny with my fingers

I'm sure Fanny would love to be played with!!!  :o

Then he sounded genuinely surprised when I declined.

What sort of thinking patterns do these morons have? It just baffles me the way some of them talk and expect to get a booking  ::) :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nora batty on 31 May 2018, 08:14:44 am
 Don't think 80% want a booking, they want to get as descriptive as ever, get free interaction with a sex worker and then have a wank at the thought of said sex worker dressed up outfit request/waiting for a non existent booking.

Half of them beleive we are so desperate/horny24/7 that we accept any demands requests they make.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 01 June 2018, 12:43:37 pm
I had an email yesterday from someone saying about how he does reflexology foot massage he also had lots of positive feedback from other ladies with compliments on how good the reflexology massage was. So I assumed he was a foot fetishist. He called me today and I got to the stage of arranging a booking with him and he said he wants to come in between my bookings and do it for free. He had so much feedback so why is he being given a free service? Surely it’s insane? It’s less than £50 for a reflexology foot massage so my time is worth more than his. Also claimed he used to offer it on gumtree and it’s not a sexual service and told me to stop wasting his time as he’s offering a service. What I don’t understand is why would you let somebody see you free of charge in exchange for a foot massage? To me it feels like he’s just a freebie seeking chancer? Or maybe he has paid and was trying to get a free booking with me? I’m not sure what to think about this, I’m a bit shocked really he’s got the nerve to even assume that he can touch my feet for free and pretend he’s offering me a service out of the kindness of his heart. It’s actually really wound me up! Have any of you ladies had a similar message and would you let somebody give you a foot massage without paying for your time if they had found you on adultwork? It’s all really strange to me to be honest.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 01 June 2018, 12:50:18 pm
I think I've had the same one he was training then, I just said I have a guy who comes every week and gives me a full body massage including my neck etc and it's Bliss but he still pays my hourly rate.

I got a "really" back and I said "yes really"

It's true and I miss him because he was funny too but I'm in a different area now :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 01 June 2018, 01:17:30 pm
Quote from: English natural beauty on 01 June 2018, 12:43:37 pm
I had an email yesterday from someone saying about how he does reflexology foot massage he also had lots of positive feedback from other ladies with compliments on how good the reflexology massage was. So I assumed he was a foot fetishist. He called me today and I got to the stage of arranging a booking with him and he said he wants to come in between my bookings and do it for free. He had so much feedback so why is he being given a free service? Surely it’s insane? It’s less than £50 for a reflexology foot massage so my time is worth more than his. Also claimed he used to offer it on gumtree and it’s not a sexual service and told me to stop wasting his time as he’s offering a service. What I don’t understand is why would you let somebody see you free of charge in exchange for a foot massage? To me it feels like he’s just a freebie seeking chancer? Or maybe he has paid and was trying to get a free booking with me? I’m not sure what to think about this, I’m a bit shocked really he’s got the nerve to even assume that he can touch my feet for free and pretend he’s offering me a service out of the kindness of his heart. It’s actually really wound me up! Have any of you ladies had a similar message and would you let somebody give you a foot massage without paying for your time if they had found you on adultwork? It’s all really strange to me to be honest.

Yes, I've had this monumental bellend not once but twice, and he's in this thread somewhere at least a couple of times.

Even after I patiently explained that being allowed to come into my hotel room and touch me in any context whatsoever meant it was a perfectly normal paid appointment the like of which I do every day, he still pretended he didn't understand. Just file under 'freebie hunting chancer' and forget all about it :).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 01 June 2018, 03:03:16 pm
Quote from: amy on 01 June 2018, 01:17:30 pm
Yes, I've had this monumental bellend not once but twice, and he's in this thread somewhere at least a couple of times.

Even after I patiently explained that being allowed to come into my hotel room and touch me in any context whatsoever meant it was a perfectly normal paid appointment the like of which I do every day, he still pretended he didn't understand. Just file under 'freebie hunting chancer' and forget all about it :).

I've had emails from him, recognised he was a chancer and ignored
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 01 June 2018, 03:10:37 pm
Had this via text a few days ago

Hi do you do bareback sex with cum inside you as an extra

He got a text back with a link to the local Sexual Health Clinic
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 01 June 2018, 05:24:07 pm
Quote from: English natural beauty on 01 June 2018, 12:43:37 pm
I had an email yesterday from someone saying about how he does reflexology foot massage he also had lots of positive feedback from other ladies with compliments on how good the reflexology massage was. So I assumed he was a foot fetishist. He called me today and I got to the stage of arranging a booking with him and he said he wants to come in between my bookings and do it for free. He had so much feedback so why is he being given a free service? Surely it’s insane? It’s less than £50 for a reflexology foot massage so my time is worth more than his. Also claimed he used to offer it on gumtree and it’s not a sexual service and told me to stop wasting his time as he’s offering a service. What I don’t understand is why would you let somebody see you free of charge in exchange for a foot massage? To me it feels like he’s just a freebie seeking chancer? Or maybe he has paid and was trying to get a free booking with me? I’m not sure what to think about this, I’m a bit shocked really he’s got the nerve to even assume that he can touch my feet for free and pretend he’s offering me a service out of the kindness of his heart. It’s actually really wound me up! Have any of you ladies had a similar message and would you let somebody give you a foot massage without paying for your time if they had found you on adultwork? It’s all really strange to me to be honest.
Yeah had tons of 'Oh but I am offering you a massage/foot rub/sex for free aren't you lucky' types.It all amounts to the same thing,just deluded pricks trying to see how naive you are and hoping someone one day will fall for their offer so they can come and perv for free.They get an instant bin.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Latty on 01 June 2018, 10:38:02 pm
Lol I've had the reflexology idiot contact me too
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 02 June 2018, 12:56:16 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 01 June 2018, 03:10:37 pm
Had this via text a few days ago

Hi do you do bareback sex with cum inside you as an extra

He got a text back with a link to the local Sexual Health Clinic

 :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nora batty on 02 June 2018, 08:26:23 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 01 June 2018, 05:24:07 pm
Yeah had tons of 'Oh but I am offering you a massage/foot rub/sex for free aren't you lucky' types.It all amounts to the same thing,just deluded pricks trying to see how naive you are and hoping someone one day will fall for their offer so they can come and perv for free.They get an instant bin.
I am downright rude to this, I had this several times Ipswich and Norwich.  I reply back that if I want a massage I will book in with a professional who won't be trying to touch me up, and I don't appreciate freebie hunting twats on my business line. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 03 June 2018, 12:31:16 am
I used to just reply with 'Sure,how long will it take?''An hour you say?''Great so that's £100 as per my profile,when were you thinking of?'.
Funnily I didn't usually get a reply.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 03 June 2018, 12:44:44 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: OffTheGridXX on 03 June 2018, 09:27:11 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 01 June 2018, 03:10:37 pm
Had this via text a few days ago

Hi do you do bareback sex with cum inside you as an extra

He got a text back with a link to the local Sexual Health Clinic

A good one! I'll use this next time I get a bareback request :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Newbie81xx on 04 June 2018, 12:39:12 am
Quote from: orientalanne on 03 June 2018, 09:27:11 pm
A good one! I'll use this next time I get a bareback request :)

That is brilliant!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 04 June 2018, 10:52:59 am
Text just now
Is a shower available in the booking?!
Next text
Can u call me sorry I got no mins left on my phone
5mins later a few ??? I he has a very long wait for an answer
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Funkymonkey on 05 June 2018, 10:42:45 am
Urgh so pissed off. Some guy rang w(with a creepy voice) he didn't give a specific time just said 'I'm 45 minutes away' so i suggested a time in like 1hr 30 mins. Ask how long he wants. 'Umm well I didn't look at your profile so I don't know. Maybe an hour? Do you do massage? Ok then maybe half an hour.'

What's the quickest way to piss me off.., straight up tell me you haven't read my profile. So I hung up. Then got a text saying 'in 10 years I've never spoken to someone to disinterested as you. I'm glad I didn't drive to see you.'

He wasn't going to drive to see me cos he wasn't getting a booking! Ugh rant over
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 05 June 2018, 12:35:38 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 05 June 2018, 12:43:29 pm
Quote from: Funkymonkey on 05 June 2018, 10:42:45 am
Urgh so pissed off. Some guy rang w(with a creepy voice) he didn't give a specific time just said 'I'm 45 minutes away' so i suggested a time in like 1hr 30 mins. Ask how long he wants. 'Umm well I didn't look at your profile so I don't know. Maybe an hour? Do you do massage? Ok then maybe half an hour.'

What's the quickest way to piss me off.., straight up tell me you haven't read my profile. So I hung up. Then got a text saying 'in 10 years I've never spoken to someone to disinterested as you. I'm glad I didn't drive to see you.'

He wasn't going to drive to see me cos he wasn't getting a booking! Ugh rant over
Very tempted to reply with 'and I have never spoken to someone so disinterested that he couldn't even be arsed to read my profile.What were you going to do turn up and then moan that I don't do the services you were after or I wasn't your type?If you want interest then try sounding interested and genuine yourself!'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 05 June 2018, 04:11:48 pm
Phone call.

Me - Hello

Idiot (thug) - Whats your name

Me - You should know who your calling

Idiot (thug) - Whats your name

Me - You should know my name if your calling me

Idiot (thug) - If you want to make money you should tell me your name

I put the phone down as I was in no mood to entertain his stupidity.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 06 June 2018, 07:38:43 am
Idiot: Want young dick for a video

Me: Sorry I only have an old one
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Funkymonkey on 06 June 2018, 08:19:28 am
Ugh dynamitedoll, had too many like this recently.

Him: I want 30 mins rimming and BJ; can you give me a price?
Me: prices are on my profile
Him: so £X
Me: you clearly haven’t read my profile then
Him: sorry messaged quite a few this morning.

It’s not even that I take it personally that they don’t specifically want me, but I think - why the hell would they want to spend a wedge on cash if they don’t even know for sure who it is that they’re coming to see? What a waste of money. I got a review recently and the guy admitted he didn’t read my profile - not my fault I wasn’t his type! Read the facking profile!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 06 June 2018, 01:12:53 pm
When they text saying 'Heh you available'.

I never reply to these these days, too many have materialised into no shows.

Why do they see fit to start the text with a heh?

How about Hello X are you free for an hour at 1 pm or something normal.

None of this heh lark!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Treetop on 06 June 2018, 07:21:19 pm
Had this one about 3 times today.

"Hi will u do my work for 5000£ my one of the frnd he want to book u but for contract marraige he will pay u if civil marraige means only paper marraige nothing more and onbody will disclose about paper marraige if u help him u will earn money and definetly god will give u best reward of it if u ready tell me reply me i ll tell u every thing and if u think u want more money then tell me how much for this work but i want to do this work any how coz its for someone happinesa someones life matter so plz help just for contract marraige only paper marraige i will pay my offer is 5000£ so reply me tgink about it twice for this u don't have to out cal or incal just papwr marraige take ur money and divorce  my iffer is for 5000£ think it then reply"

Very persistent man I'd be flattered someone wanted to marry me but it's "only paper marriage" so boo.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Seamstress on 07 June 2018, 10:28:34 am
Quote from: Treetop on 06 June 2018, 07:21:19 pm
he want to book u but for contract marraige

Ask him how he (and his friend, of course) feel about a detailed and extensive pre-nup...  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 07 June 2018, 11:18:30 am
Had a few "Hy" texts recently, plenty of 'available' type texts.

All receive an auto reply, one person replied with 'That isn't an auto reply', so got another sent.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 07 June 2018, 12:46:03 pm
Text received:

Hi sweetheart I'm 29 years old Indian young man slim body height 5.10in you meet to me tonight very nice oil massage. I'm promise for you u full in joy me. I'm fully impress you please call me and send the address and phone number love you

Ummm?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nora batty on 07 June 2018, 01:23:03 pm
Quote from: Treetop on 06 June 2018, 07:21:19 pm
Had this one about 3 times today.

"Hi will u do my work for 5000£ my one of the frnd he want to book u but for contract marraige he will pay u if civil marraige means only paper marraige nothing more and onbody will disclose about paper marraige if u help him u will earn money and definetly god will give u best reward of it if u ready tell me reply me i ll tell u every thing and if u think u want more money then tell me how much for this work but i want to do this work any how coz its for someone happinesa someones life matter so plz help just for contract marraige only paper marraige i will pay my offer is 5000£ so reply me tgink about it twice for this u don't have to out cal or incal just papwr marraige take ur money and divorce  my iffer is for 5000£ think it then reply"

Very persistent man I'd be flattered someone wanted to marry me but it's "only paper marriage" so boo.

I would have be tempted to reply to this one 😎,  but only to tell him I have reported him to immigration.  Sounds like he needs a bride for a visa, or its a scam to get your bank details.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TandPJS on 07 June 2018, 05:19:25 pm
Quote from: Nora batty on 07 June 2018, 01:23:03 pm
I would have be tempted to reply to this one 😎,  but only to tell him I have reported him to immigration.  Sounds like he needs a bride for a visa, or its a scam to get your bank details.


certainly the latter, unless he sent this mail back in 2010 as uk/non-eu couples (as in one person with a uk passport the other with non-EU nationality) need to have £18k in joint savings in order to obtain permanant settlement status in the UK, since 2015. incidentally this goes against both the declartion of human rights and EU law (right to a family life) and has led to many uk people being unable to live in the uk!

i often wonder if the morons sending me rude and ignorant requests are the same morons designing dystopian imigration laws; they often seem to have the same combination of sploit-entitled-moron-who-walks-around-blindfolded-but-not-for-fetish-reasons

sorry to wonder off topic, back to the championships!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 07 June 2018, 06:28:39 pm
It has been a long while since I got one of these but today was the day.
"You gotta meet me babe am fit nd good lookin. Let's do it"  (he is still waiting for my reply)

Sadly too I had my second smelly one of the year today (though his cock and balls were clean enough) which is two more than I can stand and rare for me. I had seen him 2 times before and he was borderline bearable first two times and I kept thinking next time he will smell clean. Annoyed at myself for letting him book but am £120 better off and the extra bedding wash today was just about worth it.

I really wanted to say something to him about it but was too much of a wuss to do it. I will not meet him again that is for sure!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 07 June 2018, 09:22:33 pm
I say but in a "wow someone's been rushing about"  if I get a someone who's a little sweaty ( that's my worse I can't bear it) and give them a quick wipe under the arms , sometimes it's genuinely nerves so they're really damp , ooh !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 08 June 2018, 01:04:32 pm
I must have missed the text of the morning as I left the work phone indoors deliberately.
Hi do you remember me lovely lady.?
Are you free?
Well I do remember to him but he's a piss taker so I said sorry no.
 He messed me about over a year ago but thinks I must know him specially. Only because I kept the guys number in my phone.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 08 June 2018, 01:13:57 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 08 June 2018, 01:04:32 pm
I must have missed the text of the morning as I left the work phone indoors deliberately.
Hi do you remember me lovely lady.?
Are you free?
Well I do remember to him but he's a piss taker so I said sorry no.
 He messed me about over a year ago but thinks I must know him specially. Only because I kept the guys number in my phone.

Yeah so annoying when it's someone who has been annoying, or at least difficult to communicate with/right faffer in the past. Feels like a form of control, especially if they try the 'guessing game' eg 'Remember me I'm the one called John with black hair, spectacles, nice smile who gave you an orgasm'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 08 June 2018, 01:20:45 pm
How on earth could we forget them!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 08 June 2018, 02:27:32 pm
By text

" Been on adult works and Iv phoned your number your a excort and I want some nice fucking for some cash "

So classy  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 08 June 2018, 03:04:54 pm
 Text , just letting you know I'm Thinking about coming over to sometime this afternoon
 Me " well i'll decide that and I'm pretty busy so you'll be lucky "

Followed by ?? And again ??

I so love the guys that call and say " are you free to talk"

Rather than me telling them I can't talk right now while they just carry on rrrrrrrh  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 08 June 2018, 03:05:52 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 08 June 2018, 02:27:32 pm
By text

" Been on adult works and Iv phoned your number your a excort and I want some nice fucking for some cash "

So classy  >:(

Oh I just love it when they call it adultworks  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 08 June 2018, 05:30:20 pm
Moron 1:
Can u send me ur face please
Sure, I'll just chop it off and post it to you.
lol I mean a face pic
Read my profile.
I can't access it atm!
Oh okay, so my number just magically popped into your head.


Moron 2:
How much bb
£100000000000000000000000000 and a unicorn.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Seamstress on 09 June 2018, 10:16:33 am
Quote from: Hannaah on 08 June 2018, 05:30:20 pm
Moron 2:
How much bb
£100000000000000000000000000 and a unicorn.

Epic - I'm so stealing this!  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Treetop on 11 June 2018, 02:05:46 pm
Hi (xyz) are you free for message today i would love to release some tension. Also I've got some fishing rods and nets worth over 200 pounds any chance I can exchange them for sex I don't do much fishing anymore I would also throw in a decent reel. From Daniel 😘


Fishing rods?????? I can't even....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 11 June 2018, 03:22:15 pm
Quote from: Treetop on 11 June 2018, 02:05:46 pm
Hi (xyz) are you free for message today i would love to release some tension. Also I've got some fishing rods and nets worth over 200 pounds any chance I can exchange them for sex I don't do much fishing anymore I would also throw in a decent reel. From Daniel 😘


Fishing rods?????? I can't even....

Hilarious!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Guiltypleasure on 12 June 2018, 11:17:59 am
Quote from: Treetop on 11 June 2018, 02:05:46 pm
Hi (xyz) are you free for message today i would love to release some tension. Also I've got some fishing rods and nets worth over 200 pounds any chance I can exchange them for sex I don't do much fishing anymore I would also throw in a decent reel. From Daniel 😘


Fishing rods?????? I can't even....

Surely that's just so he gets a response and says , hook line and sinker, I reeled you in ! Ffs

I'd rather it was that than 'reel'

I'd send a message back saying , go on plenty of fish and I'm sure you'll be able to reel someone in and get a catch :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 12 June 2018, 11:34:18 am
Quote from: Hannaah on 08 June 2018, 05:30:20 pm
Moron 1:
Can u send me ur face please
Sure, I'll just chop it off and post it to you.
lol I mean a face pic
Read my profile.
I can't access it atm!
Oh okay, so my number just magically popped into your head.


Moron 2:
How much bb
£100000000000000000000000000 and a unicorn.

I would have done him for free if he could bring along a real unicorn.   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 13 June 2018, 12:16:03 pm
Hi can I come see you but might have to cancel at short notice would that be a problem if I did ?
No please don't book me .
Cuts call  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 14 June 2018, 09:22:34 am
I had saved this one in my phone as "Prob tw" as last week he called to ask could he see me one day this week but no booking was made and I had that dodgy feeling about him. He called again yesterday to once again ask for "one day next week"  ::) so I got rid of him by asking that he call when he was sure of the day and time and he said fine yes he would.

Immediately a text arrived telling me he was a very horny 35 year old.

I will not meet him now or answer any more calls etc.

He is looking for wank chat/text, I am sure of it and he may get it from others who think he will book but not from me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 16 June 2018, 04:05:26 pm
By mai, on AW , no feedback .


" I have a proposal for you.

What if I pay eveything for a couple of days holidays to Corfu for you and in excange for these days you offer me 1 to 1 fun together?

If this is something you are interesting on please let me know so I arrange it as soon as possible."





How can I resist a couple of days in Corfu ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Treetop on 16 June 2018, 04:52:29 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 16 June 2018, 04:05:26 pm
By mai, on AW , no feedback .


" I have a proposal for you.

What if I pay eveything for a couple of days holidays to Corfu for you and in excange for these days you offer me 1 to 1 fun together?

If this is something you are interesting on please let me know so I arrange it as soon as possible."





How can I resist a couple of days in Corfu ?

Must be the season for it! I had a returning client offer me a Week in Singapore.... just the week mind, no money!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: OffTheGridXX on 18 June 2018, 02:31:13 am
Saw my ad and contacted me for appt. Okay, fine. So he saw the price. No questions asked. Terrible English, Indian Surinamese guy.

Arrive at my door and came in.
Me - Let's get the finance bit settled first. You wanna see me for an hour, right?
Moron - Oh, I only have €50 for a quickie.
Me - Please leave. I only do 30 mins for €100.
Moron - What, so expensive? No quickie?
Me - No. Leave now.
Moron - Please, I'm a really nice guy.

You think bc you are already here, I am giving up my principles? OMG. What a moron and complete waste of my time.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GG on 18 June 2018, 10:39:16 am

Idiot: Hi Gina, I would like to get a massage done. I have a 11 inch dick are you ok with this size.

Me: As its on top of your head I can't foresee any problem!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss harlequin on 18 June 2018, 04:55:09 pm
Quote from: gina g on 18 June 2018, 10:39:16 am
Idiot: Hi Gina, I would like to get a massage done. I have a 11 inch dick are you ok with this size.

Me: As its on top of your head I can't foresee any problem!

Laughed so much gave myself a stitch! You dear lady are a woman after my own heart and am definitely stealing this one
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 18 June 2018, 06:07:52 pm
Quote from: gina g on 18 June 2018, 10:39:16 am
Idiot: Hi Gina, I would like to get a massage done. I have a 11 inch dick are you ok with this size.

Me: As its on top of your head I can't foresee any problem!
Oh I had a similar pillock.I replied with 'Why would your dick size be a problem if you are only after a massage?'Unless you mean it is 11 inch thick so I can't get my hand round it for the wank at the end of the massage?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anais on 18 June 2018, 06:51:02 pm
Quote from: Treetop on 11 June 2018, 02:05:46 pm
Hi (xyz) are you free for message today i would love to release some tension. Also I've got some fishing rods and nets worth over 200 pounds any chance I can exchange them for sex I don't do much fishing anymore I would also throw in a decent reel. From Daniel 😘


Fishing rods?????? I can't even....

I have literally just wet myself!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jessicanbanks on 18 June 2018, 08:44:32 pm
Goes by the name [redacted]  ask about a meet (4/5 has)pretending to be his gf at a family meal,  goes through all the chat and then asks for bareback!!  Offering to pay more than double,  don't have a number just thought I'd share to save any others going through the chat,  I took the whole thing with a pinch of salt anyways
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 18 June 2018, 08:58:13 pm
Quote from: jessicanbanks on 18 June 2018, 08:44:32 pm
Goes by the name [redacted]  ask about a meet (4/5 has)pretending to be his gf at a family meal,  goes through all the chat and then asks for bareback!!  Offering to pay more than double,  don't have a number just thought I'd share to save any others going through the chat,  I took the whole thing with a pinch of salt anyways

I've moved this here since it's just stupid copy-pasted spam and not location specific - I got exactly the same email and it was so obviously bollocks I only replied to point out that his subterfuge wasn't going to be very convincing if he couldn't even remember my name ::).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 19 June 2018, 03:49:32 pm
Received 00:50. Hello
Received 15:31. Hello
Received 15:33. Hello
Received 15:33. Hi
Received 15:33. Hello
Received 15:33. Bye

 :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Funkymonkey on 21 June 2018, 11:32:38 am
Wtf - calls at 11:30 - are you free now?
Me: what do you mean now?
Him: well according to aw I'm 8 miles away
Me: ok then well I'm not ready right now but we could do 12?
Him: ooh no I need to be back by then.
Me: wtf he's 8 miles away so how the hell is he gonna get here and have a booking before 12?? Honesty these people are clueless
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 22 June 2018, 11:34:55 am
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Newbie81xx on 22 June 2018, 12:33:40 pm
Mod delete
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 25 June 2018, 02:14:29 pm
Obviously a cut n paste having been sent to me and someone else I know

Hello

I wish to book you for 7 sessions of 3 hours each over a 2 week period. Also interested in 3sum with you and friend P.

I am a grandmother and my teen granddaughter ( legal aged ) shall be visiting me for a number of weeks. This is her wish on her visit and am happy to arrange. Its mainly for her but I may also join in a 1/1 with you. Seeking lesbian sex with you. I know it is an unusual request but it is 100% legitimate.

I shall pay you whatever is required.

Yours sincerely

J H/i]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 25 June 2018, 02:23:43 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 25 June 2018, 02:14:29 pm
Obviously a cut n paste having been sent to me and someone else I know

Hello

I wish to book you for 7 sessions of 3 hours each over a 2 week period. Also interested in 3sum with you and friend P.

I am a grandmother and my teen granddaughter ( legal aged ) shall be visiting me for a number of weeks. This is her wish on her visit and am happy to arrange. Its mainly for her but I may also join in a 1/1 with you. Seeking lesbian sex with you. I know it is an unusual request but it is 100% legitimate.

I shall pay you whatever is required.

Yours sincerely

J H/i]

Sweet fucking Lord! Where to start? Well if it were genuinely from a woman.

Which it most definitely is not!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 25 June 2018, 05:00:17 pm
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 25 June 2018, 02:23:43 pm
Sweet fucking Lord! Where to start? Well if it were genuinely from a woman.

Which it most definitely is not!

That's an old one.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 25 June 2018, 08:38:48 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 25 June 2018, 02:14:29 pm
Obviously a cut n paste having been sent to me and someone else I know

Hello

I wish to book you for 7 sessions of 3 hours each over a 2 week period. Also interested in 3sum with you and friend P.

I am a grandmother and my teen granddaughter ( legal aged ) shall be visiting me for a number of weeks. This is her wish on her visit and am happy to arrange. Its mainly for her but I may also join in a 1/1 with you. Seeking lesbian sex with you. I know it is an unusual request but it is 100% legitimate.

I shall pay you whatever is required.

Yours sincerely

J H/i]

I got this too. I deleted and blocked in my hotmail.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 28 June 2018, 09:31:55 am
By mail on AW


Hey , I’m after a bit of a odd request so please feel free to price accordingly. Looking for someone who will have protected sex in either pussy or ass & at the end of the session will let me place a funnel in whichever hole they want and I’ll cum into the funnel which will in turn fill up one of your holes. This stops any bareback happening and I still fufill my fantasy. I’ve came to adult work as a last resort as my mrs just wont experiment or try something diffferet. Will be a regular occurance if both of us get along fine.

Price me for 1 hour incall

Thanks x

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Chloe666 on 28 June 2018, 10:30:23 am
Quote from: MissBehaving on 28 June 2018, 09:31:55 am
By mail on AW


Hey , I’m after a bit of a odd request so please feel free to price accordingly. Looking for someone who will have protected sex in either pussy or ass & at the end of the session will let me place a funnel in whichever hole they want and I’ll cum into the funnel which will in turn fill up one of your holes. This stops any bareback happening and I still fufill my fantasy. I’ve came to adult work as a last resort as my mrs just wont experiment or try something diffferet. Will be a regular occurance if both of us get along fine.

Price me for 1 hour incall

Thanks x

I got this too!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 28 June 2018, 10:57:15 am
Quote from: MissBehaving on 28 June 2018, 09:31:55 am
By mail on AW


Hey , I’m after a bit of a odd request so please feel free to price accordingly. Looking for someone who will have protected sex in either pussy or ass & at the end of the session will let me place a funnel in whichever hole they want and I’ll cum into the funnel which will in turn fill up one of your holes. This stops any bareback happening and I still fufill my fantasy. I’ve came to adult work as a last resort as my mrs just wont experiment or try something diffferet. Will be a regular occurance if both of us get along fine.

Price me for 1 hour incall

Thanks x
Um does he not actually get what condoms are protecting us from i.e not having a hole filled with his spunk?Dickhead.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 28 June 2018, 03:27:55 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 28 June 2018, 10:57:15 am
Um does he not actually get what condoms are protecting us from i.e not having a hole filled with his spunk?Dickhead.

HE might not be stupid himself but, IMO, he thinks (or hopes) that WE are;  as ignorant, gullible whores, we surely won't notice that, where risks are concerned, his "funnelling" idea is exactly the same as unprotected penetrative sex.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 28 June 2018, 03:54:32 pm
Well I don't think he's that bright .... my profile states that I only see professional over the age of 35 ( I'm a mature escort ) , his  profile says that he's 26. My reply just stated " as explained in my profile I do not meet with young men such as yourself "  his reply " but I'm 26 tho " .... :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Treetop on 28 June 2018, 06:36:40 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 28 June 2018, 03:54:32 pm
Well I don't think he's that bright .... my profile states that I only see professional over the age of 35 ( I'm a mature escort ) , his  profile says that he's 26. My reply just stated " as explained in my profile I do not meet with young men such as yourself "  his reply " but I'm 26 tho " .... :FF


I had a very long circular conversation last week while on tour with a 25 year old who told me he was 25 and when I apologised explained I only see over 30s he just kept repeating he was 25. I think he must have been a few cards short if a full deck, I wound up hanging up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 28 June 2018, 06:36:58 pm
Subject:    Hey

Can u pee n fart xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 28 June 2018, 06:52:41 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 28 June 2018, 06:36:58 pm
Subject:    Hey

Can u pee n fart xx

Well I do it all the time. 

OH! you mean in a booking?  ;D

Are there REALLY men out there who want women to fart on them?  Really?!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Funkymonkey on 28 June 2018, 07:53:11 pm
What are you supposed to answer when someone asks ‘how discreet is your place?’ Is it just me who thinks it’s a silly question? I usually say ‘sorry no it has a giant neon outside saying ‘whorehouse’
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 28 June 2018, 08:45:25 pm
Quote from: Funkymonkey on 28 June 2018, 07:53:11 pm
What are you supposed to answer when someone asks ‘how discreet is your place?’ Is it just me who thinks it’s a silly question? I usually say ‘sorry no it has a giant neon outside saying ‘whorehouse’

Maybe just reply "it's as discreet as you need it to be" but I have found the few occasions men have asked this they have not been the best or nicest clients. No idea why.  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JustAnotherHooker on 28 June 2018, 09:35:14 pm
Quote from: Justine on 28 June 2018, 08:45:25 pm
Maybe just reply "it's as discreet as you need it to be" but I have found the few occasions men have asked this they have not been the best or nicest clients. No idea why.  :)


I agree about the discreet askers not being the nicest clients and maybe they ask because they want to  know that if they kick off then there won’t be anyone around to help you!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 30 June 2018, 07:27:00 pm
Quote from: JustAnotherHooker on 28 June 2018, 09:35:14 pm

I agree about the discreet askers not being the nicest clients and maybe they ask because they want to  know that if they kick off then there won’t be anyone around to help you!

Or they behave extremely indiscreetly.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 02 July 2018, 12:39:37 pm
Tw-Can I make a booking
Me- yes what time and how long for
Tw-3 but I am a ex porn star is that OK
Me- as long as you know I only offer gfe
Tw- yes but I am a ex porn star so I won't have to pay. Are you interested
Me- no

Why does he think that I want to give it away when he (apparently! ) used to get paid for it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 02 July 2018, 03:49:03 pm
Asks if I'm available. I say when? Within the next half an hour. I ask what services? Anal. I think I don't like the sound of him so tell him I won't be available for another hour. He responds with a shitty attitude "Why can't I see you now?" I say again it won't be for another hour. Again with attitude "But my dicks hard now, why can't I see you now?" I put the phone down. Block. Then multiple calls from him which are now blocked.

Seconds later multiple calls from different number and a text  asking to see me. Am thinking its the same guy using different number as is too soon after last one and clearly won't take no for an answer.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 02 July 2018, 05:29:00 pm
Quote from: nemature on 02 July 2018, 12:39:37 pm
...Why does he think that I want to give it away when he (apparently! ) used to get paid for it.
Because he's a dick.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 02 July 2018, 10:19:44 pm
Email today when I'm not working if course
Hi I liked your pictures and erotica can you write some more for me.
Browse wanker not a client  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 03 July 2018, 06:37:03 pm
Text today

"Hiya babe I'm in xxx now and could come for an incall, but I only have £40 on me. Could you possibly do the 15 for this?"

I wouldn't normally reply but couldn't resist on this occasion

"Yes of course. I can do 15 SECONDS. You come to the door, give me £40 then leave!"


Wrong on so many levels, it clearly says I don't accept texts, I don't do 15 mins and my minimum charge is well over £40!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 04 July 2018, 11:07:51 am
Sharing this one with you, email just arrived on AW from man with only negative fb for not showing up, has a full face and gorgeous (not) cock pics on his profile, asks me if he pays travel and hotel for me will I travel several hundred miles to the other end of the country to thrash his bottom.

Packing my case so have to dash.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 04 July 2018, 11:22:15 am
Quote from: Justine on 04 July 2018, 11:07:51 am
Sharing this one with you, email just arrived on AW from man with only negative fb for not showing up, has a full face and gorgeous (not) cock pics on his profile, asks me if he pays travel and hotel for me will I travel several hundred miles to the other end of the country to thrash his bottom.

Packing my case so have to dash.
Ooh what an offer there  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 04 July 2018, 10:51:06 pm
Quote from: Justine on 04 July 2018, 11:07:51 am
Sharing this one with you, email just arrived on AW from man with only negative fb for not showing up, has a full face and gorgeous (not) cock pics on his profile, asks me if he pays travel and hotel for me will I travel several hundred miles to the other end of the country to thrash his bottom.

Packing my case so have to dash.
Ya ha ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 05 July 2018, 09:33:15 am
Caller.
Hi I'd like to visit you but what I want to do is not on your lists. Do you mind if I ask you could you shave my public hair off and shower me, could you use anal toys on me too.
Could you do prostrate massage.
I said he was to douche out first before coming
He said can you do that for me.  ::)
At this point I said no I'm not doing all that for you.!!
Really not in the mood for this guy   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 05 July 2018, 12:24:16 pm
Phone prick - Hey, where are you?
Me - I'm near xx xx xx
Phone prick - £20 for a blow job, yeah? Ten minutes?
Me - No, sorry. Click

Why do these idiots bother phoning, seriously? Is anyone that desperate?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 05 July 2018, 12:57:43 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 05 July 2018, 09:33:15 am
Caller.
Hi I'd like to visit you but what I want to do is not on your lists. Do you mind if I ask you could you shave my public hair off and shower me, could you use anal toys on me too.
Could you do prostrate massage.
I said he was to douche out first before coming
He said can you do that for me.  ::)
At this point I said no I'm not doing all that for you.!!
Really not in the mood for this guy   :FF

Was that your typo or his?  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 06 July 2018, 07:12:41 am
I seem to be attracting incontinent clients at the moment recent message from a punter

"I like a normal sensual GFE with a little bit of assistance,I do have some minor conditions, I walk with a stick and have to wear the adult nappy pads, I always arrive very clean and fresh, but would like to ask if you would help me freshen up as I want to be as clean as possible for you..."

after asking a few questions

"In terms of the incontinence, it's only bladder or wetting I have an issue, If it was the other I would not put that on anyone and to be honest not look for a booking if I had the other problem, so it's only wetting.

I have a stick as it stabilises me, my mobility is fine, however I have M.E. "energy issues", so use a stick to help me balance myself."

If I had been at home then I might have accepted this booking but in a hotel room with a incontinence problem bad enough to wear adult nappy pads he would be likely to just pee over the bed - a bed I wold need to sleep in that night. So I declined I think they only think of their needs not the practical side of the booking.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 06 July 2018, 07:59:07 am
Quote from: nemature on 06 July 2018, 07:12:41 am
I seem to be attracting incontinent clients at the moment recent message from a punter

"I like a normal sensual GFE with a little bit of assistance,I do have some minor conditions, I walk with a stick and have to wear the adult nappy pads, I always arrive very clean and fresh, but would like to ask if you would help me freshen up as I want to be as clean as possible for you..."

after asking a few questions

"In terms of the incontinence, it's only bladder or wetting I have an issue, If it was the other I would not put that on anyone and to be honest not look for a booking if I had the other problem, so it's only wetting.

I have a stick as it stabilises me, my mobility is fine, however I have M.E. "energy issues", so use a stick to help me balance myself."

If I had been at home then I might have accepted this booking but in a hotel room with a incontinence problem bad enough to wear adult nappy pads he would be likely to just pee over the bed - a bed I wold need to sleep in that night. So I declined I think they only think of their needs not the practical side of the booking.

On the plus side, he's been upfront about it thankfully so at least you can decline, wasn't it you that had that horrendous 'pee' booking recently? That must have been awful. I would have declined this guy too, dicks are messy enough without the added concern of random piss while you are sucking it  :-X :-X :-X no no no I just could not! The only way I'd see this guy would be in HIS hotel room and HJ only, I can't be doing with pee. No.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 06 July 2018, 07:09:37 pm
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 06 July 2018, 07:59:07 am
On the plus side, he's been upfront about it thankfully so at least you can decline, wasn't it you that had that horrendous 'pee' booking recently? That must have been awful. I would have declined this guy too, dicks are messy enough without the added concern of random piss while you are sucking it  :-X :-X :-X no no no I just could not! The only way I'd see this guy would be in HIS hotel room and HJ only, I can't be doing with pee. No.

Yes it was me that had the 'pee' booking I do not know what is going on I have never had this and then have had two in quick succession. If I looked on certain sites I would be looking for a review advising all incontinent men to try to book me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 06 July 2018, 07:46:09 pm
There are sps who are happy to service all kinds of out of the ordinary men, such as the man you describe NEmature but I will not do this, at least not accept a booking when I know this kind of thing is probable. I have let men into my place and not had a clue they were amputees or partially sighted, could hardly walk a few steps without having to stop and rest, struggled with 2 walking sticks  etc. until they turned up.

I got through those bookings ok but would have really appreciated being told beforehand of their conditions. Amputees no problem as I have admired those men who are living perfectly normal lives and marvel at how nothing daunts them at all. However if they had just mentioned it first when booking and before taking off the false leg and giving me a bit of a shock or removing their jacket to reveal only one arm etc.  I am not hard hearted but it is only fair we are aware before accepting a booking.

It is not our duty to service each and every man who wants to book us and I started this work for my own enjoyment as well as the rewards, I am not a carer or nurse. I think escorts who accept the disabled are great in what they do but I have had my fair share of awkward bookings with men who really should have been more considerate.

A few years ago I had a client who booked me every couple of months. His physical condition meant that he struggled to undress and if left to do it himself would have almost doubled the booking time, it was so slow. He was not prepared to pay for longer and after several occasions where his body was not fresh after the ordeal of undressing him I  had to say no more.  A shower was not an option as he could not step into the over bath cubicle. Asking me to spray his underarms with Lynx was all he thought he needed to be ready for my attention.

Not good memories.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 06 July 2018, 09:38:20 pm
Quote from: Justine on 06 July 2018, 07:46:09 pm
It is not our duty to service each and every man who wants to book us and I started this work for my own enjoyment as well as the rewards, I am not a carer or nurse. I think escorts who accept the disabled are great in what they do but I have had my fair share of awkward bookings with men who really should have been more considerate.

I totally agree. I get quite a few disabled clients and the best ones let me know in advance "I'm in a wheelchair" or "I mobilize with crutches" or "I have a lot of scarring" and ask if that's a problem.

Basically anything I know about in advance is not a problem, I just need to ready myself. If using mobility aids then I need to make sure there's a clear path between door and bed, etc.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 06 July 2018, 10:10:22 pm
Good post, Justine.

We all have different tolerances and areas of squeamishness, plus your workplace can make a lot of difference, too. I saw a man with a prosthetic leg, which didn't bother me at all as he'd told me upfront, but someone arrived who was born missing a forearm and it was a bit of a shock (though again, not a problem). The worst was an older bloke who I think had some sort of heart or lung condition as he had really raspy/wheezy breath and looked and sounded really unhealthy - I just kept thinking, 'Christ, don't die on me!'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 10 July 2018, 08:06:16 am
Yesterday I had this
him-hi i am male 67 how much for aa hour massage please - go easy
me - my hourly fee is on my site
him - ouch cant affordthat on a pension

I think he wants us to offer pensioner rates like they do on the buses!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 10 July 2018, 05:44:32 pm
. Text Can you travel up to high Wycombe now.?
I'm no where near  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 10 July 2018, 09:08:27 pm
Outcall?
I don't offer outcalls.
£800 for overnight two males would that make you happy?
I still don't offer outcalls nor overnights as stated on my profile.
OK, shall we come to you for two hours then?

Yeah just what I want, 2 guys I have never met before and one of them definitely can't accept a no first time. Not to mention if I did do outcalls, or saw more than one person at a time or overnights I would be charging a lot more than £800 for two guys the full night!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 10 July 2018, 09:27:25 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 10 July 2018, 09:08:27 pm
Outcall?
I don't offer outcalls.
£800 for overnight two males would that make you happy?
I still don't offer outcalls nor overnights as stated on my profile.
OK, shall we come to you for two hours then?

Yeah just what I want, 2 guys I have never met before and one of them definitely can't accept a no first time. Not to mention if I did do outcalls, or saw more than one person at a time or overnights I would be charging a lot more than £800 for two guys the full night!

Dicks, I'm surprised you even responded to the initial one word text!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 12 July 2018, 11:44:52 am
Texts one after another:

Hi
I'm (his name)
I see your ad and I like you
I'm actually single man and wanna meet you
If you looking for man


 ??? ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 12 July 2018, 12:12:48 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 12 July 2018, 06:09:21 pm
Bloody hell he's not shy hes too irritating
Discuss needs and wants when he doesn't even know his needs or wants  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 12 July 2018, 06:39:31 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nova on 13 July 2018, 11:53:58 am
Spent an hour getting ready for a client only to have him turn up and be too nervous to buzz my door because, "A guy outside was hanging around in a weird way."
The thing I hate most about this is that, as an experienced sex worker, I still feel so fucking angry about this. It's rare for someone to cancel at the point of arriving at the building but it makes me furious. If you're not ready to walk up to a door and buzz, you're not ready to book an escort. Stop wasting my fucking time!
Unless the guy outside was stabbing someone in the face, just walk past him - what is wrong with you?!

Tempted to message him the bill for the hour and tell him I will expect it posted through by the end of the day but I'd obviously never see the money.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AaleshaLondon on 13 July 2018, 12:39:57 pm
Had a look in the search but couldn't find a thread like this already but if there is, please accept my sincerest apologies.

So I had a strange text this morning which I wanted to share:
"Hi I have a crying fetish. I like seeing and making women cry and licking there tears. can u do this for me what will make u cry"


If you have any funny or weird and wacky requests, let me know! I really hope I don't have a weirdo magnet haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 13 July 2018, 12:46:46 pm
Quote from: Lesha on 13 July 2018, 12:39:57 pm
Had a look in the search but couldn't find a thread like this already

Merged :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AaleshaLondon on 13 July 2018, 01:03:32 pm
Quote from: amy on 13 July 2018, 12:46:46 pm
Merged :)


Ahhh my apologies Amy. Thank you xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 14 July 2018, 10:12:58 am
Quote from: Lesha on 13 July 2018, 12:39:57 pm
Had a look in the search but couldn't find a thread like this already but if there is, please accept my sincerest apologies.

So I had a strange text this morning which I wanted to share:
"Hi I have a crying fetish. I like seeing and making women cry and licking there tears. can u do this for me what will make u cry"


If you have any funny or weird and wacky requests, let me know! I really hope I don't have a weirdo magnet haha
That one has been doing the rounds for years up and down the country.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 14 July 2018, 06:25:42 pm
Quote from: Nova on 13 July 2018, 11:53:58 am
Spent an hour getting ready for a client only to have him turn up and be too nervous to buzz my door because, "A guy outside was hanging around in a weird way."
The thing I hate most about this is that, as an experienced sex worker, I still feel so fucking angry about this. It's rare for someone to cancel at the point of arriving at the building but it makes me furious. If you're not ready to walk up to a door and buzz, you're not ready to book an escort. Stop wasting my fucking time!
Unless the guy outside was stabbing someone in the face, just walk past him - what is wrong with you?!

Tempted to message him the bill for the hour and tell him I will expect it posted through by the end of the day but I'd obviously never see the money.
I hate this shit - I know clients have to be aware etc. but they are so overly paranoid sometimes. Had a guy message me after a booking saying I had to delete his number and texts because he's going through a divorce (what does he think is going to happen?) and another who was dithering about booking and then said he couldn't come to my area because he has a very distinctive car. Mate calm down you're not that important. So many of them panic at the idea of bumping into someone they know - just make something up it's not that big a deal!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 14 July 2018, 06:56:59 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 14 July 2018, 06:25:42 pm
I hate this shit - I know clients have to be aware etc. but they are so overly paranoid sometimes. Had a guy message me after a booking saying I had to delete his number and texts because he's going through a divorce (what does he think is going to happen?) and another who was dithering about booking and then said he couldn't come to my area because he has a very distinctive car. Mate calm down you're not that important. So many of them panic at the idea of bumping into someone they know - just make something up it's not that big a deal!

Any hint of nervousness, stupid questions regarding getting stopped at reception etc get cut off at the source & blocked. To cancel last minute for any reason would infuriate me, even more so if the reason was general patheticness, you can't argue with stupidity  >:( >:( >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AaleshaLondon on 15 July 2018, 05:34:43 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 14 July 2018, 10:12:58 am
That one has been doing the rounds for years up and down the country.

Oh my gosh no way! I've added him to true caller. What a strange guy
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hot Pepper on 15 July 2018, 11:43:41 pm

Just had a call could barely hear him so put the phone down. Sent me a text saying how sexy my voice was and I quote

Can you ring me so I can bust a nut to that gorgeous voice?

Neither I or my voice will be replying the cheek of him
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 17 July 2018, 10:47:33 am
The amount of idiots since I signed up to adultzone  :FF :FF

Idiot 1: Hi is this Hannah?
Hello, yes this is Hannah.
Hi babe can you do a hotel outcall for me and a few guys overnight if possible price not an issue it's for a stag do.

I don't do overnights, outcalls or group meetings.

Idiot 2: Hi is this the beautiful beautiful Hannah?
Hello, yes this is Hannah.
How are you beautiful princess?
Were you wanting to make a booking?
Yes I want an overnight tomorrow.

 :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 17 July 2018, 11:02:58 am
A text that just said 'Motherwell call out'

I don't even do outcalls and I have that written on my profile.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 17 July 2018, 02:46:37 pm
Think I'm calling today quits soon!  :FF

Hi are you available tonight?
Hello, I finish at 8pm.
Great so you're submissive, yeah?
I offer submissive services, yes.
Perfect I've been a dom for 20 years or so, you ok with that?
That is fine.
Cool, so what sort of sub games are you into?
All the necessary information is on my profile.
Thanks for your help.

For not continuing with pointless texting and helping him have a wank with no intention of booking? He is very welcome!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 17 July 2018, 04:04:29 pm
Hi there ,
I offer free photographic services to help escorts out if you need new pictures taken by me do  let me know.
Suspect who does free shots unless they want something in return.
Aw member no professional  site details  ::)
its got to be a copy and paste job !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dolita on 17 July 2018, 08:44:50 pm
One today which simply said  "Pleeease"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 17 July 2018, 09:40:04 pm
Just one word on a text

Anal

I replied retentive to which he sent ? I thought he wanted a game of word association plus I was a bit bored at the time
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 17 July 2018, 11:02:03 pm
Quote from: nemature on 17 July 2018, 09:40:04 pm
Just one word on a text

Anal

I replied retentive to which he sent ? I thought he wanted a game of word association plus I was a bit bored at the time
Ya ha ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 23 July 2018, 04:16:46 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JustAnotherHooker on 24 July 2018, 02:00:55 pm
Client to me in sauna on Friday “I’ll take you because I like older woman“, bearing in mind I’m 37 and most people say I look 32 at most, and he looks like a proper old grandad, we go to the room and I said to him “you actually really offended me by calling me an older woman because I’m only an older woman if I’m older than you & I suspect I’m not, I’m 37 and can I ask what age you are”, him “sorry if I offended you but all I meant was that I don’t want to go with someone who could be my daughter, and I’m 60”, so I told him that as there was 23 years between us then I am at an age where I could be his daughter ffs, how deluded is this man?! Also imo your not considered a mature lady, in this industry, until your at least 45 yrs old so I have a few years to go before I’m there!! In all honesty he looked, and dressed like he was nearer 70 than 60, I had one of my regulars last night & he is 62 and could pass for 52 and he’s a silver fox unlike the cheeky old deluded *C U Next Tuesday!! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lola xxx on 25 July 2018, 03:41:07 pm
For me its just the usual asking for services I don't do at times I've clearly stated I'm not available. Today I had one asking for a £15 blow job and facial.  I'm not evev working today, it states so on my profile grrrrrrrr!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 25 July 2018, 07:46:00 pm
Someone booked and then texted to ask if I have 'killer heels to wear porn style', when I asked him to elaborate he said he wanted 10 inch heels. Does this man know how long 10 inches is??!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 25 July 2018, 09:19:50 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 25 July 2018, 07:46:00 pm
Someone booked and then texted to ask if I have 'killer heels to wear porn style', when I asked him to elaborate he said he wanted 10 inch heels. Does this man know how long 10 inches is??!!

Well it ain't his dick size that's for sure   ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 25 July 2018, 10:09:16 pm
From an illiterate idiot who did not read my profile requesting for service I do not offer. Blocked the fool. Did not entertain him in replying.

Idiot: Hi looking to get owo blowjob quickie I could pay fourty quid thx :FF

That text went straight to the bin.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 26 July 2018, 09:40:21 am
Quote from: curvywench on 25 July 2018, 09:19:50 pm
Well it ain't his dick size that's for sure   ;D ;D
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 30 July 2018, 07:59:17 am
He made a one hour booking I sent him instructions re address he replies with "1 hr sex" which I ignore so he follows up with "no massage just sex for 1 hour" I politely declined his booking no way was I having him walk in and jump on me pumping away for a full 60 mins - he would probably only last 5 mins if he can get it up at all and probably just his fantasy and he maybe wanted wank texts but I was not taking the chance
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 30 July 2018, 06:46:15 pm
Quote from: nemature on 30 July 2018, 07:59:17 am
He made a one hour booking I sent him instructions re address he replies with "1 hr sex" which I ignore so he follows up with "no massage just sex for 1 hour" I politely declined his booking no way was I having him walk in and jump on me pumping away for a full 60 mins - he would probably only last 5 mins if he can get it up at all and probably just his fantasy and he maybe wanted wank texts but I was not taking the chance

I had some genius wanting a 2 hour booking with a 'constant' blowjob  :o :o :o I think he has issues in more ways than one...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 31 July 2018, 09:12:13 pm
AW message at 6: Can I see you tonight at 6.30? followed with another one at 7.30: Are you not free tonight?? Try ringing the bloody number  that has been showing all day long? Oh wait I forgot, we all sit all dolled up ready at a moments notice and refresh AW every 10 seconds.

Text from someone already saved as a no show: Hi Hannah, are you available tonight please babe? Thanks x Funnily enough he never responded to my "So you can not show up again?"  :D

And the final idiot of the day with a text of "Hi hanna" ...that's it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 01 August 2018, 07:28:45 am
These past couple of weeks have been a nightmare for daft texts and silly phonecalls. Had one man phone yesterday who said he's never done this before and was splitting up from his wife. I see loads of people who haven't done this before, but at least they know what they want or have some idea unlike this twerp. You think before anyone makes a phonecall to anyone they would make sure they knew what they wanted to say  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Grace D on 01 August 2018, 08:36:36 am
Idiot: Come to my house in Earl's Court in an hour
Me: I'm afraid I live up north and I only do incalls
Idiot: But my dick is waiting
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bobbisux on 01 August 2018, 06:13:14 pm
Latest recruit to the Wanker Academy contacted me on AW:

'Hi there when you free'

Apart from the dubious grammar and lack of a question mark, availability is noted on my profile and also the Availability chart!

You seriously have to wonder how these people navigate their way out of their front door of a morning!

Bob
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 03 August 2018, 08:23:25 pm
Hi am 20 years old and a Virgin right and I was wondering if I make a booking for an hour and all i would want is to eat you out for the entire sessions that's all. I know you only see guys over 30 but I thought I would ask anyway sorry if this as caused you any inconveniences.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 03 August 2018, 08:30:19 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 03 August 2018, 08:23:25 pm
Hi am 20 years old and a Virgin right and I was wondering if I make a booking for an hour and all i would want is to eat you out for the entire sessions that's all. I know you only see guys over 30 but I thought I would ask anyway sorry if this as caused you any inconveniences.

The expression eat you out is a pet hat of mine and I cringe when I hear it. Don't think I have had a man actually say it during a booking thank goodness.  The above 20 yr old virgin sounds very familiar too, a lot of them about these days.  ::)

I am currently seeing more than my fair share of middle of the night texts containing not much more than half a sentence.

Sigh
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 03 August 2018, 10:51:32 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 03 August 2018, 08:23:25 pm
Hi am 20 years old and a Virgin right and I was wondering if I make a booking for an hour and all i would want is to eat you out for the entire sessions that's all. I know you only see guys over 30 but I thought I would ask anyway sorry if this as caused you any inconveniences.
These types of messages pissed me off on principle.Like I am going to make an excpetion on my age restriction just for you,Mr Stranger man because you are so special!You have already boundary pushed by even asking me to. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rainbow on 05 August 2018, 03:42:23 pm
Every weekend the same man sends the same message - and every weekend I send him the same reply.

Why does he bother? It's been 6 weeks by now, so surely he should realise that it just isn't going to happen unless he accepts I'm not going to change my routine just for him?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: x-Nina-x- on 05 August 2018, 06:26:57 pm
Just had this moron...

"book 4 1h plz? NOT A HAGGLEr, CASH NO PROBLEMO. bESS NaKEd"


I honestly don't know where to start with some people  :FF 
I am not even 100% what he is saying...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 05 August 2018, 07:32:29 pm
Quote from: x-Nina-x- on 05 August 2018, 06:26:57 pm
Just had this moron...

"book 4 1h plz? NOT A HAGGLEr, CASH NO PROBLEMO. bESS NaKEd"


I honestly don't know where to start with some people  :FF 
I am not even 100% what he is saying...
Oh looks like he's not learnt how to write or communicate properly yet !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: x-Nina-x- on 05 August 2018, 07:36:24 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 05 August 2018, 07:32:29 pm
Oh looks like he's not learnt how to write or communicate properly yet !!

I honestly kind of hope he's on something and that it isn't just the way he is  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Charmaine on 05 August 2018, 07:39:58 pm
Just had this text .  I am ready
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 08 August 2018, 04:52:20 pm
So had a guy call, found him hard to understand and his manner ia bit odd so I cut the call then I felt bad and texted my availability. He calls back, I ask how long he wanted, one hr, ok, then...

Wanker: Can I join in?

Me: What do you mean?

Wanker: With your partner.

Me: what makes you assume I have a partner?

Him:...... Silence....

Me: I'm declining the booking and terminating the call because the questions have become very odd

HANGS UP

I'm sure he was wanking  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 08 August 2018, 08:26:27 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 08 August 2018, 04:52:20 pm
So had a guy call, found him hard to understand and his manner ia bit odd so I cut the call then I felt bad and texted my availability. He calls back, I ask how long he wanted, one hr, ok, then...

Wanker: Can I join in?

Me: What do you mean?

Wanker: With your partner.

Me: what makes you assume I have a partner?

Him:...... Silence....

Me: I'm declining the booking and terminating the call because the questions have become very odd

HANGS UP

I'm sure he was wanking  ::)

He would probably have lost me at this point...hangs up... lol I have zero tolerance for stupidity!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 08 August 2018, 08:34:54 pm
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 08 August 2018, 08:26:27 pm
He would probably have lost me at this point...hangs up... lol I have zero tolerance for stupidity!

I know right! Just on occasion I think have I overreacted, give them another chance, but no I was always right in the first instance
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 09 August 2018, 02:22:12 pm
So how many of you lucky ladies have received this?!!!


My name is Ann .

I am hoping to hire you for part time film work which may lead to full time. The films are only for myself.

I am financially secure so all payments shall be covered by me. I can offer a very substantial financial package and contract if you required one . The films I hope you shall appeal to you and I am hoping that you would be interested in working for me

The films shall involve breast sucking films mostly and ass worship films. No males involved whatsoever.

I hope you shall be interested in my business proposal as it is 100% legitimate even though I am aware you may see this request as a scam but I can assure you it's genuine

I look forward to hearing from you in due course.

Yours sincerely

Ann

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JustAnotherHooker on 10 August 2018, 02:28:40 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 09 August 2018, 02:22:12 pm
So how many of you lucky ladies have received this?!!!


My name is Ann .

I am hoping to hire you for part time film work which may lead to full time. The films are only for myself.

I am financially secure so all payments shall be covered by me. I can offer a very substantial financial package and contract if you required one . The films I hope you shall appeal to you and I am hoping that you would be interested in working for me

The films shall involve breast sucking films mostly and ass worship films. No males involved whatsoever.

I hope you shall be interested in my business proposal as it is 100% legitimate even though I am aware you may see this request as a scam but I can assure you it's genuine

I look forward to hearing from you in due course.

Yours sincerely

Ann


I’ve had a posh English woman named Annabelle call me and say something similar, I just put the phone down and blocked her number!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 10 August 2018, 04:59:02 pm
A selection from the medium of 'txt'

Twat 1 'hello'
gets autoresponse
Twat 1 'you can come to my house'

Um thanks but no thanks. Block.

Twat 2 texts while I'm in a booking 'hi are you free at 12?'
gets autoresponse saying I'm busy until 12.
Twat 2 '12 ok?' at 11.55am

I don't think so. Not a twat of the highest order, but a plank all the same.

 :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 10 August 2018, 06:33:56 pm
Quote from: JustAnotherHooker on 10 August 2018, 02:28:40 pm

I’ve had a posh English woman named Annabelle call me and say something similar, I just put the phone down and blocked her number!

Funnily enough this got sent to me whilst I was in Edinburgh, so perhaps she/he targets people in Scotland
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JustAnotherHooker on 10 August 2018, 06:38:28 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 10 August 2018, 06:33:56 pm
Funnily enough this got sent to me whilst I was in Edinburgh, so perhaps she/he targets people in Scotland
I genuinely found it hard to believe she was female because she was trying to get free sex chat, she actually sounded like my doctor!!! Haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 10 August 2018, 06:45:19 pm
Quote from: JustAnotherHooker on 10 August 2018, 06:38:28 pm
I genuinely found it hard to believe she was female because she was trying to get free sex chat, she actually sounded like my doctor!!! Haha

Do you know I think a friend of mine, an X WG told me about a female trying to get sex chat on the phone years ago, I wonder if it’s the same person (yes it was Scotland)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JustAnotherHooker on 10 August 2018, 06:50:53 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 10 August 2018, 06:45:19 pm
Do you know I think a friend of mine, an X WG told me about a female trying to get sex chat on the phone years ago, I wonder if it’s the same person (yes it was Scotland)
Omg how sad, wtf do these weirdos get from these calls?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 11 August 2018, 11:53:28 am
Quote from: JustAnotherHooker on 10 August 2018, 06:38:28 pm
I genuinely found it hard to believe she was female because she was trying to get free sex chat, she actually sounded like my doctor!!! Haha

I've got one who contacts me every time I'm in the West Midlands who says "I'm a LADY" and sounds exactly like David Walliams doing his drag act.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 13 August 2018, 07:16:24 pm
Email this afternoon
Hi I know it says no bareback on your profile I'm married 15 years and just wanted to confirm  it's definatly a no.
Blocking also means no mate   ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 13 August 2018, 09:45:56 pm
Outcall Dagenham. - This beauty has just landed in my email.. Don't think I shall be hearing back from that one with the response. But then sometimes they suprise you as they like getting abused.

I'm surprised I'm not on a list somewhere to avoid.

Late last night -
(T) Hi Princess.
(M) If I was a Princess you wouldn't have my number
(T) Was hoping you was available
(M) Well, clearly you saw my profile to get my number. Shame you didn't bother reading anything else like working hours. Instead, you let little head with the big brain take over.
(T) Would pay extra if that helps
(M) Anyone else during that 20 minutes would have gone and read profile. They would see the working hours. They would also see I don't book anyone who clearly couldn't be bothered to read what I offer.
(T)So in an hour then?
(M) ...
(T) Hello
(m)...
(T) Are you on your way yet?
(M) On my way to where? Did I tell you I was coming? Did I ask you for details? You could be royalty I'm not moving for anyone. Suprised you didn't realise this considering you asked me over an hour ago.
(T)Oh, so you're not coming?

I know I should block but I have a feeling he's coming back and I sometimes keep twats around for my entertainment  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ednakrabappel on 16 August 2018, 10:21:22 pm
Them: Hi
Me: Hi
Them: Sex


I read it in a zombie or caveman voice in my head "seeexxxxxx"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 17 August 2018, 10:18:24 am
Wow ur absolutely beautiful and stunning, I'd love to spend some time with you, m I live in North Yorkshire, if your interested in having pleasure for long as you want I will do as you please because I don't really want to say this or bring it up but I'm 18 just turning 19 and I've got lung cancer, a tumber in my lung. I only bring this up because I don't wanna die a virgin and not be with a beautiful women like you x My dying wish would be to see you and make you feel like the most special girl in the world xx

I'm also an amateur photographer so if you wanted some fresh and new sexier pics I could help ??

"Tumber" 😂😂😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 17 August 2018, 01:30:32 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 11 August 2018, 11:53:28 am
I've got one who contacts me every time I'm in the West Midlands who says "I'm a LADY" and sounds exactly like David Walliams doing his drag act.

This brings to mind at least 2 callers way back who said they were women on the phone "hello my name is Gorgia/Jilly" and they attempted to make bookings. I could tell from the off they were male and if they had only been upfront and honest, saying they were Xdressers or whatever then they may have got somewhere. 

Any caller who says he/she is transgender is welcome to book me and I have met a few, but one thing I will not allow is a Xdresser turning up at my door in full drag get up. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 17 August 2018, 01:56:48 pm
Quote from: Justine on 17 August 2018, 01:30:32 pm
This brings to mind at least 2 callers way back who said they were women on the phone "hello my name is Gorgia/Jilly" and they attempted to make bookings. I could tell from the off they were male and if they had only been upfront and honest, saying they were Xdressers or whatever then they may have got somewhere. 

Any caller who says he/she is transgender is welcome to book me and I have met a few, but one thing I will not allow is a Xdresser turning up at my door in full drag get up.

I still have flashbacks to the one client who did that to me - he looked like Bet Lynch after a night out, make-up put on in the dark (think hideous blue eyeshadow, thick smudged eyeliner, and the most revolting shade of pink lipstick), all black stuff but a leopard print mini skirt. I nearly died when I saw him walking over the road.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyTheTramp on 18 August 2018, 07:11:41 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 17 August 2018, 10:18:24 am
Wow ur absolutely beautiful and stunning, I'd love to spend some time with you, m I live in North Yorkshire, if your interested in having pleasure for long as you want I will do as you please because I don't really want to say this or bring it up but I'm 18 just turning 19 and I've got lung cancer, a tumber in my lung. I only bring this up because I don't wanna die a virgin and not be with a beautiful women like you x My dying wish would be to see you and make you feel like the most special girl in the world xx

I'm also an amateur photographer so if you wanted some fresh and new sexier pics I could help ??

"Tumber" 😂😂😂

I got this one too and was also astounded at the misspelling of “tumour” he didn’t offer to photograph me though..... should I be offended?  😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Flamingopenguin on 19 August 2018, 09:30:29 am
"hiya can't give cash but can give xbox one x game console, an oris mens wrist watch, and some jewellery and anything else i have of value for you xxx, would love to have some fun with you for a while, i love being sominated / humiliated by a beautiful mistress

if you van do this call me or message me back

look forward to being your little bitch/slave
xxxxxxxxx'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anais on 19 August 2018, 11:00:17 am
Little gems!

Texts

"Hey wanted to know if you are available and what would be the carnage for anal sex at my hotel."

"Hi hun are u available for a regular booking for some kinky fun and fisting please and watersports xx."

" How would I get to your room do I have to go to reception to ask for you."

" Hi, would you be interested in 4-6 people gang bang 19th August in the Cotswolds? All the things in your enjoy list at once and get paid £400 for 2 hours. You can have a social get to know drink beforehand as drinks and condoms will be provided. Indoor and outdoor fun with people who just love dirty safe sex. All safety precautions will be in place for a relaxed evening of hot sex. Confirm attendance and I will send the discreet location  of this beautiful big house located in the Cotswolds. Kevin x."

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 20 August 2018, 05:46:21 pm
Quote from: Flamingopenguin on 19 August 2018, 09:30:29 am
"hiya can't give cash but can give xbox one x game console, an oris mens wrist watch, and some jewellery and anything else i have of value for you xxx, would love to have some fun with you for a while, i love being sominated / humiliated by a beautiful mistress

if you van do this call me or message me back

look forward to being your little bitch/slave
xxxxxxxxx'

Hahahahahahahahahahaha what the fuck
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarah72 on 21 August 2018, 08:38:01 am
Not so much an escort story but that of a friend who done escorting for select clients but was more a model. Like an escort she advertised her availability, her limits etc on a forum for professional models and photographers. She got following back:

“I want to do a full on hardcore shoot, full action, mmf, ffm. Full on sex, anal”
(This was despite my friend outlining her limits).

The next request you couldn’t make up!

“I’m based around Newport. I can’t drive and you’d need to provide a location. I don’t have any cash so I’m looking for trade FOC”!!

The response was hilarious! The replies he got were comical mocking him! Best part though he was that clueless he bit and got more and more angry! And he just dug a bigger hole!

I’ve had my fair share of stupid requests, a lot similar to what has already been posted. Some of my friends privately would swap theirs and between them pick idiot of the month!!!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 21 August 2018, 09:11:45 am
Well this client really got up my nose.  He emails me on AW to say he will call me.  It is ten to eleven at night.

He then further emails stating the phone didnt go through.  Does he honestly think we are permanently on call?!

Twit.   I blocked him as I cannot take the twittery I really cannot....!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarastar1 on 21 August 2018, 02:50:40 pm
Had a guy yesterday on he phone claiming to work for an adult film company blah blah waffling on clearly looking for a free shag. Told him where to go but I wish now that I asked what his company was! Clearly it was a load of bollocks.

Looked his number up on WhatsApp and there is a picture of him with his other half. Poor woman!!! I mean if that’s how he gets his kicks fair enough but at least get a throwaway sim!!!


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarastar1 on 21 August 2018, 02:54:23 pm
Forgot to add....
Those that text as opposed to calling and enquiry about a booking but don’t know your price....services...or even your Aw profile!!!!!

I think I’ve been incredibly unlucky as the past two weeks I’ve had a lot of this but I began to think is my number on another site? No that wasn’t the case. The responses I got from t least seven of such enquiries was ‘my friend gave me your number!’
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 21 August 2018, 04:36:09 pm
(Twat) Hello darling postcode end the prices you please
(Me) Suggest you sober up/come down from your high then get in touch
(Twat) Postcode you please prices 1hr
(Me) If you cannot be arsed to read to my profile I cannot be arsed to interact with you.
(Twat) 1hr love full service

Blocked.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 21 August 2018, 05:54:15 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BangerRacing on 22 August 2018, 08:33:45 am
Quote from: someonesomewhere on 21 August 2018, 04:36:09 pm
(Twat) Hello darling postcode end the prices you please
(Me) Suggest you sober up/come down from your high then get in touch
(Twat) Postcode you please prices 1hr
(Me) If you cannot be arsed to read to my profile I cannot be arsed to interact with you.
(Twat) 1hr love full service

Blocked.

I get crap like this all the time. It's usually guys with very bad English & they never seem to take no for an answer. You'd at least think they'd use google translate or something.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 22 August 2018, 11:51:21 am
I woke up today to this text sent at 3.30am

"racial humiliation? pay good u free at 6(am)?"

 :o  Ignored of course and I had to google the racial humiliation bit, didn't even know it existed as a service!

What goes on there then, calling the client derogatory names etc ?

Not for me that's for sure.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 22 August 2018, 11:52:52 am
Quote from: Justine on 22 August 2018, 11:51:21 am
I woke up today to this text sent at 3.30am

"racial humiliation? pay good u free at 6(am)?"

 :o  Ignored of course and I had to google the racial humiliation bit, didn't even know it existed as a service!

What goes on there then, calling the client derogatory names etc ?

Not for me that's for sure.

Yes you would insult them and call them racist names. I quite enjoy humiliation but this is not one I can do, I don't feel comfortable at all with it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 22 August 2018, 05:25:33 pm
So I have a FAQ asking would be photographers NOT to contact me, still I get this....

Wow! what an amazing profile you have there on Adultwork!! I'm K**, (AW link) ive been working on AW for a few years now making high quality content for people up and down the country.

I have to say, you look stunning in your pictures & I wondered if you might be interested in a shoot with me sometime? I'd love to do some photos or video for you If you could be up for it?

I have 150+ free pics and 150+ video clips with free to view preview pics so you can see some of what ive done.

Please let me know what you think and if you might be interested? I'd love to shoot with you.


K**x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JustAnotherHooker on 22 August 2018, 05:58:23 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 22 August 2018, 05:25:33 pm
So I have a FAQ asking would be photographers NOT to contact me, still I get this....

Wow! what an amazing profile you have there on Adultwork!! I'm K**, (AW link) ive been working on AW for a few years now making high quality content for people up and down the country.

I have to say, you look stunning in your pictures & I wondered if you might be interested in a shoot with me sometime? I'd love to do some photos or video for you If you could be up for it?

I have 150+ free pics and 150+ video clips with free to view preview pics so you can see some of what ive done.

Please let me know what you think and if you might be interested? I'd love to shoot with you.


K**x
Sometimes I think that they purposely ask you for things that you specify in your faq’s that you won’t do, obviously there are a whole load that don’t read our profiles but some do and the ones that do read them and then try to cross our boundaries anyway are the ones that don’t like hookers for a variety of reasons, mainly they resent paying for sex imo.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 22 August 2018, 11:34:00 pm
Quote from: Justine on 22 August 2018, 11:51:21 am
What goes on there then, calling the client derogatory names etc ?

Not for me that's for sure.

It's surprisingly popular. I do offer this but ask them to let me know when booking because I have to get myself in the right headspace and I need time afterwards to kind of reset myself.

The first time it was sprung on me during the booking and I felt TERRIBLE afterwards even though the client had clearly been very turned on and happy. I literally worried that he had had a hidden camera and I was about to appear in a Channel 5 special "Britain's Most Racist Escorts" or something!

I decided I need to channel my inner Leonardo DiCaprio - an excellent actor and apparently nice human being, who played a horrible evil slave-owning plantation owner in Django Unchained.

========

My most incoherent text of the day:
Hi it's xxxx I wanto book u for half n hour at coming at at 5pm and can u tell me do u do full girlfriend experience?

Closely followed by:
Hi Sweathart...

I mean, given the temperature it's probably accurate but still no way to address a lady :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 23 August 2018, 12:59:00 am
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 22 August 2018, 11:34:00 pm
It's surprisingly popular. I do offer this but ask them to let me know when booking because I have to get myself in the right headspace and I need time afterwards to kind of reset myself.

The first time it was sprung on me during the booking and I felt TERRIBLE afterwards even though the client had clearly been very turned on and happy. I literally worried that he had had a hidden camera and I was about to appear in a Channel 5 special "Britain's Most Racist Escorts" or something!

I decided I need to channel my inner Leonardo DiCaprio - an excellent actor and apparently nice human being, who played a horrible evil slave-owning plantation owner in Django Unchained.

Yes I am fine with any other kind of verbal humiliation I have been asked for and have no qualms about calling clients names if that is their turn on but I had just not heard of the racial one, shows there is always something to learn no matter how long in this game! 

========

My most incoherent text of the day:
Hi it's xxxx I wanto book u for half n hour at coming at at 5pm and can u tell me do u do full girlfriend experience?

Closely followed by:
Hi Sweathart...

Yes I have had "hi sweaty" before. Made me laugh but I could not entertain a man who could not spell sweety, that one simple spelling mistake would ruin it for me. ;D

I mean, given the temperature it's probably accurate but still no way to address a lady :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 23 August 2018, 07:14:57 am
Text - Can I come round to lick your arse for a tenner? I'll be done in 5 minutes.

 ::) ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kazzle on 23 August 2018, 08:08:53 am
Quote
Text - Can I come round to lick your arse for a tenner? I'll be done in 5 minutes.


How could you resist such a tempting offer?   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 23 August 2018, 01:52:35 pm
I seldom receive nonsense mail on AW but today is the day :

Hello there,

I'm doing a who's hotter competition with my friend. You get to pick which one of us you want to fuck and the loser has to pay your fee and sit there tied up and watch. I can show you pictures of us on WhatsApp or Kik to see if you'd be interested or not.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 23 August 2018, 01:56:28 pm
From a cam mf duo with no feedback :


Would youbtake dp x
Your custom is appreciated.. We look to please in every way x


Not a clue what they're on about ... :FF
 



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 23 August 2018, 01:59:42 pm
By aw mail , just that one sentence ...


do men treat you princess


 ;D ;D ;D


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 23 August 2018, 02:16:57 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 23 August 2018, 01:52:35 pm
I seldom receive nonsense mail on AW but today is the day :

Hello there,

I'm doing a who's hotter competition with my friend. You get to pick which one of us you want to fuck and the loser has to pay your fee and sit there tied up and watch. I can show you pictures of us on WhatsApp or Kik to see if you'd be interested or not.


I had that one yesterday.  ;D 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 23 August 2018, 02:21:30 pm
Todays
Hello Hun, It's me Mr xxxxx

Apparently, I am just what he's looking for. Asked wanker how he could be sure as he clearly hadn't read my profile. Told him to go away, read then come back.

I am very clear I won't tolerate this hun shite, and will call them random shite back.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 23 August 2018, 06:01:52 pm
Idiot the other day.

Hi i just seen you're green light go on can i ask if you are available today by any chance?

Me... What do you think available today means

Him...oh ok i just was not sure if you could def do today.

Me.. yes i can what times can you do

Him... Soon in an hour best but if not after 4pm

Me..yes i can do either shall i book you in in 1 hour time.

Him...yes that sounds good just got to check i can get out and will call you back.

Typical stupid prick and no phone call back.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 23 August 2018, 07:42:43 pm
Email message
Hi am looking to try you for first time, I've not done this before .

As i really don't care for his buisness I messaged back that I require clients with at least 6 months experience first.
He's not replied !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 23 August 2018, 07:50:58 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Xkandpx on 24 August 2018, 08:43:24 pm
[24/08, 20:25] ‪ Hi babe
[24/08, 20:25] ‪ Are you available today
[24/08, 20:25] me . Hi
[24/08, 20:25] me. Yes
[24/08, 20:25] ‪Ok babe what time
[24/08, 20:25] me I finish at 930 so up to u
[24/08, 20:26] ‪ Can you do a overnight stay babe xxx
[24/08, 20:26] me . No
[24/08, 20:26] ‪ Ok babe can I come now
[24/08, 20:26] me: How long for
[24/08, 20:26] ‪‬: 90!mins
[24/08, 20:26] me. Go away
[24/08, 20:27] ‪ ?
[24/08, 20:30] me: 1 you asked if I was available today.... My profile says I am so y ask so u didn't bother reading it
2 I told u I finish at half 9. This is also stated on my profile which u didn't read.
3 u asked for an over night. Ignoring what I told you and what my profile says in regards to finishing at 930 and the fact my maximum booking is 1hr
4. U then asked for 90 mins appointment. Completly missing the fact I only offer an hour max. And what fucking retard thinks they can fit a 90 min booking into 62 mins anyway?
[24/08, 20:31] ‪ Ok
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Georgie on 25 August 2018, 03:29:53 am
Ha! That's him told!

Just got asked... 'do you do car merts xx'

[his typo not mine for once]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 25 August 2018, 07:32:07 am
Quote from: Kazzle on 23 August 2018, 08:08:53 am

How could you resist such a tempting offer?   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

I know! Must be off my head!!!  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarastar1 on 26 August 2018, 02:25:56 pm
I picked up the phone today

ME- Hello

HIM- YOU OPEN

ME- NO

HIM- WHEN ARE YOU OPEN

ME -I am not a shop mate why are you asking me if I’m open?

HIM - ( PUTS PHONE DOWN)

How bloody rude!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 27 August 2018, 12:13:14 pm
(Twat) Hey. Wow your gorgeous! Can I have your postcode pls? Are you in a flat or hotel? Thanks x
(me) Erm no you cannot have my details. And I'm neither. I'm an actual living person.
(twat) That's fine. Just wanted to know what area your in x
(me) Considering you failed to establish if I'm free, wanting an address is a waste of time. You don't get to show up, it's not like popping into your local tesco.
(twat) Sorry mistress my mistake x
(me) I'm not dominant either. A suggestion for the future. When trying to book an escort reading their profile is usually a good start.

It's going to be one of those days. The best bit is I rarely do incalls, so there's no mention of this on my profile at the moment.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bobbisux on 02 September 2018, 02:45:01 pm
Quote from: Georgie on 25 August 2018, 03:29:53 am
Ha! That's him told!

Just got asked... 'do you do car merts xx'

[his typo not mine for once]

The policeman from 'Allo 'Allo by any chance??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarastar1 on 02 September 2018, 03:26:50 pm
A guy with a Macedonian phone number sending me a picture of his erect penis and telling me he wanted anal and also sending lots of ‘poo’ emojis!

Also a guy who repeatedly texts ( never calls)  I’m quite picky and prefer a new client to call. I didn’t get back to him but then see loads of needy texts going on about how hard I am to book and why etc.....
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Charmaine on 02 September 2018, 06:51:16 pm
Idiot . you available
Me .    yes what time and services would you like
Idiot   I would like you to shit in my open mouth
Me  Do not contact me again you disgusting creature

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 02 September 2018, 07:39:43 pm
Quote from: Charmaine on 02 September 2018, 06:51:16 pm
Idiot . you available
Me .    yes what time and services would you like
Idiot   I would like you to shit in my open mouth
Me  Do not contact me again you disgusting creature
:-X vile
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bobbisux on 02 September 2018, 07:44:58 pm
Even the thought totally turns the stomach! :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Charmaine on 02 September 2018, 07:58:02 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 02 September 2018, 07:39:43 pm
:-X vile

I suspect it was some idiot messing about.  Surely no one can be that vile
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 03 September 2018, 12:27:42 pm
Quote from: Charmaine on 02 September 2018, 07:58:02 pm
I suspect it was some idiot messing about.  Surely no one can be that vile

You will find that it is a thing, not that common but it is definitely a thing. Not a thing I could do. I mean, how do you do it on demand anyway?  ??? ??? ???

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvymamma on 03 September 2018, 01:18:38 pm
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 03 September 2018, 12:27:42 pm
You will find that it is a thing, not that common but it is definitely a thing. Not a thing I could do. I mean, how do you do it on demand anyway?  ??? ??? ???

 ;D

They would have to wait around a few days for me to perform sometimes  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 03 September 2018, 01:49:07 pm
Well what can I say; look at how he signs his name, yup seriously. Also all the bold text he highlighted in RED....

Hi *****

WOW! I see from your Twitter page that you are amazing.  You are beautiful, gorgeous for a ** year old!

I will be in England on the weekend of ******. Would it be possible to arrange an appointment?

I am the shy type!! I'm ** and my problem is that I lack serious confidence with women, hence I have yet to sleep with a lady!

At this hour of my life, you would think that I would have lost my virginity by now. I know it's embarrassing to admit!!!!!

 #Horny*****
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 04 September 2018, 01:15:23 pm
Please tell me someone else got the farting BJ email on AW...?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 04 September 2018, 01:34:07 pm
Quote from: Kay on 04 September 2018, 01:15:23 pm
Please tell me someone else got the farting BJ email on AW...?

Sadly not! I'd go for that, as long as it was ME farting, otherwise Nooooooooooooooooo....

In How Not To Book An Escort News - just had a call from a very friendly, polite, old sounding guy wanting to book for an hour's time. No problem, text me in 15 mins when you leave. Ok. Five minutes later, same guy calls me "hello, are you available today?" as if we've never spoken! I told him he just called me. He hung up.

What the fuck?!  :o :o :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 04 September 2018, 02:18:21 pm
'Hello I have a nose Fetish can I squeeze in your nose then blow my nose on your face.?'
I just said look its not for me before I put phone down on him he's saying no wait wait!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Georgie on 04 September 2018, 03:49:39 pm
Quote from: Kay on 04 September 2018, 01:15:23 pm
Please tell me someone else got the farting BJ email on AW...?

Bit gutted about missing out on this... I can produce some right rippers.

Anyway... 'how are you precious diamond' appeared which I'm sure I've read on here.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 04 September 2018, 03:58:53 pm
Well, guess at least I'm special!

Hi,

I'd like to enquire about a service you probably haven't done before, tbh neither have I.  I have only ever done "vanilla" bookings over the years.
Basically I'd like to have a blowjob were you fart repeatedly throughout whilst sucking. Now I know the only way to achieve this would be by going to the toilet for a you know what. So if possible I'd like to find a lady willing to eat or drink whatever makes her really gassy or need a raging shite, and then force it all out on the toilet whilst giving me a blowjob.

I cum quick from bjs so it wouldn't take long. And I'm a polite clean, well off and handsome man.  All I ask is that you push and fart whilst sucking me off.  I'm willing to pay £250 for a 5-10 minute blowjob due to the nature of this task.  If this is something you can do I'd like to hear back from you. Thanks x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 04 September 2018, 04:36:19 pm
Quote from: Kay on 04 September 2018, 03:58:53 pm
Well, guess at least I'm special!

Hi,

I'd like to enquire about a service you probably haven't done before, tbh neither have I.  I have only ever done "vanilla" bookings over the years.
Basically I'd like to have a blowjob were you fart repeatedly throughout whilst sucking. Now I know the only way to achieve this would be by going to the toilet for a you know what. So if possible I'd like to find a lady willing to eat or drink whatever makes her really gassy or need a raging shite, and then force it all out on the toilet whilst giving me a blowjob.

I cum quick from bjs so it wouldn't take long. And I'm a polite clean, well off and handsome man.  All I ask is that you push and fart whilst sucking me off.  I'm willing to pay £250 for a 5-10 minute blowjob due to the nature of this task.  If this is something you can do I'd like to hear back from you. Thanks x

 :o :o :o

Send him my way! And he can pay for the massive Domino's I'd need in advance of the booking... :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 05 September 2018, 10:54:22 am
Polite clean and well off lol.
He's a dirty fucker
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 05 September 2018, 12:03:10 pm
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 04 September 2018, 01:34:07 pm

In How Not To Book An Escort News - just had a call from a very friendly, polite, old sounding guy wanting to book for an hour's time. No problem, text me in 15 mins when you leave. Ok. Five minutes later, same guy calls me "hello, are you available today?" as if we've never spoken! I told him he just called me. He hung up.

What the fuck?!  :o :o :o

Classic example of those men who are ringing any number who will answer but don't have the sense to write down and tick off those they have already called.  I doubt they ever book anyone at all.

I like catching them out on this and imagining their squirming on the other end of the phone.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 05 September 2018, 04:24:20 pm
Him: "your master would like to see you at 6pm for an hour. Where should he come to?"
[two hours later]

Him: SLAVE?????

Duly ignored...

[TWO MONTHS LATER]
Him: "Hi [work name], are you around tonight? xx"

Me: "after how you spoke to me the first time you contacted me, literally never."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 05 September 2018, 04:34:34 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: honeymoonbarbie on 07 September 2018, 04:53:00 pm
Via SMS:

Him: Hi I saw your add online and was wondering if you are available today at X time for one hour?
Me: Yes I have availability at that time.
Him: Excellent, can I ask do you do bj without condom
Me: I offer OWO if you have a shower here or are freshly showered on arrival and don’t have any concerning lumps or bumps.

Clearly not the provocative answer he was expecting.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 08 September 2018, 04:12:45 pm
Hi I saw your add are you available
Me. What's my name?
Err I don't know let me check
I cut the call.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 09 September 2018, 12:38:25 am
Subject: hello babe wonder if u interested in regular meets x
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi there! wonder if u are interested!
Am looking for a lover type affection, I love kissing and hugs with feelings, I will treat u like my princess and would love to treated nice is well, I will respect you a lot, i don't like any restrictions they put me off, I am totally clean guy,recently checked from health Center near me, All results are clean.
but I can't make love with restrictions like I can't use condoms, they put me off massively and I loses errection, that's why am only interested in one clean girl for regular meets. will be seeing u 3 times a week. With 100/hr meet every meet please babe !
Thank you
Xx

I feel like he is respecting me so much by asking for bareback when I don't offer it and offering lower than my hourly rate!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nemature on 09 September 2018, 08:28:28 am
Him - (dubious aw name) - I will fuck

It wasn't even worth a reply maybe he will but he certainly will not be seeing me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 09 September 2018, 10:42:00 am
I have Saturday night fever

How deep is your love

Need some real lurrrvin you up for it tonight?


It was so poetic I thought it deserved a nice intro on here.

(I did not get to meet this smoothie, might get over it, who knows)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 09 September 2018, 03:01:07 pm
Hiya!available today gfe owo?after 12 my flat ***** !thank you

Postcode took out. AW member with one feedback that they have decided to not share, even though it's a positive.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 09 September 2018, 07:31:51 pm
Quote from: Justine on 09 September 2018, 10:42:00 am
I have Saturday night fever

How deep is your love

Need some real lurrrvin you up for it tonight?


It was so poetic I thought it deserved a nice intro on here.

(I did not get to meet this smoothie, might get over it, who knows)
Ha ha this one made me laugh, he probably will use that as a chat up line every time for the last 10years or so  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 09 September 2018, 08:50:31 pm
Still trying to figure this one out, no clue who it is!

Subject:    Mmmwwwaaahh

Met a few times, luvs us too. Would like to lick someone’s come from you too xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 10 September 2018, 09:36:36 am
Want to come to Ub2 xx

Sent via email. But at least I have a name for the idiot.
Told the fool to go back, read my profile and pay attention to the step by step process I have included about how to book me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 10 September 2018, 03:58:21 pm
Text about ten minutes ago:

Numpty: u fuck
Me: me fuck? who fuck?
Numpty: wha??

God preserve us ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: denise96 on 10 September 2018, 04:45:14 pm
text about 5 seconds ago
"babe can you deepthroat? can be there at 5.15"
 =))
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 10 September 2018, 08:29:30 pm
Is it national idiot day today?

Had a few more
Idiot - will pop round about 9ish tomorow
Me - pop where?
Idiot - yours innit
Me - where am i?
Idiot - yea true gives ur address babe
Me - haha no. outcalls idiot suggest you go back and read

idiot - u do incalls
me - read profile
idiot - cool. send me some pics
me - read profile
idiot - so when u sending me addy and pics?
me - has hell frozen over yet?
idiot - ??
me - enough said. you would know the reference if you read my profile

and those are just texts.
also had a couple of dirty calls. The quality of those is in decline. They are coming to me almost ready to blow lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anaskyex on 10 September 2018, 09:43:45 pm
Sending a 6 page complicated role play script for a half an hour booking! Ridiculous. He's such a nice guy and good looking too but I had to decline meeting.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: rae on 11 September 2018, 12:08:21 pm
Potential customers answer, when asked how long he wanted to book for.

Now young Miss, how long? (I'm 47)
Well that's up to you, I like to give pleasure as well as receive it, so I am hoping that you will allow me to gently pleasure you. Putting it in slow cooker terms your pussy would be the slow cooker and using my tongue as eagerly, slowly and gently let you simmer mmm. This takes time, would be 90 mins but if your not fussed about being pleasured, we can just do an hour.
I've decided I'm going to be busy for the forcible, and I've been put off using my slow cooker for a while.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 11 September 2018, 12:23:04 pm
Quote from: rae on 11 September 2018, 12:08:21 pm
Potential customers answer, when asked how long he wanted to book for.

Now young Miss, how long? (I'm 47)
Well that's up to you, I like to give pleasure as well as receive it, so I am hoping that you will allow me to gently pleasure you. Putting it in slow cooker terms your pussy would be the slow cooker and using my tongue as eagerly, slowly and gently let you simmer mmm. This takes time, would be 90 mins but if your not fussed about being pleasured, we can just do an hour.
I've decided I'm going to be busy for the forcible, and I've been put off using my slow cooker for a while.

 ;D This is the type of joker I would keep replying to as and when I was bored just for the entertainment value. I am a bit weird like that though.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 11 September 2018, 12:29:36 pm
Quote from: someonesomewhere on 11 September 2018, 12:23:04 pm
;D This is the type of joker I would keep replying to as and when I was bored just for the entertainment value. I am a bit weird like that though.

I'd have told him he could have fifteen minutes and not a second longer. When I'd stopped vomiting, anyway :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 12 September 2018, 01:10:00 am
Please tell me I'm not the only one who gets this call every now and then.
Australian guy, with an Australian number, calls me every now and then to settle an argument between him and his girlfriend. The size of his cock. He wants you to say that his 6in cock is massive lol. He knows he's annoying but doesn't care.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RKitten on 12 September 2018, 01:39:46 am
I have to say, I've never gotten that. Just tell him to whip out a ruler and lay it along the top side of his cock. Calls again tell him to piss off or call your premium number.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 12 September 2018, 09:26:49 am
Sounds like a TW have you searched his number here, and or placed a warning in the TW section?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 12 September 2018, 03:28:11 pm
I have searched the number here. There's nothing. He is a Tw but a terrible one. He starts the conversation with hi I wonder if you can help resolve an argument between me and my girlfriend or words to that effect.

You would have to be daft to not realise that he is a time waster. Plus the number shows as Australia, same was as Manchester, India etc shows on my phone.

Had a lengthy chat with him last night, not about his cock just about Australia and was surprised to hear from him as it's been several weeks this time. It's his cash he's wasting at the end of the day!! Was just curious to see if its just me that gets the International ones.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 12 September 2018, 09:03:19 pm
Quote from: someonesomewhere on 12 September 2018, 03:28:11 pm
I have searched the number here. There's nothing. He is a Tw but a terrible one. He starts the conversation with hi I wonder if you can help resolve an argument between me and my girlfriend or words to that effect.

You would have to be daft to not realise that he is a time waster. Plus the number shows as Australia, same was as Manchester, India etc shows on my phone.

Had a lengthy chat with him last night, not about his cock just about Australia and was surprised to hear from him as it's been several weeks this time. It's his cash he's wasting at the end of the day!! Was just curious to see if its just me that gets the International ones.

Had the occasional phone call from lands far away and they are always "flying in next week as work outside the UK and coming to visit family" or "coming for a funeral" and have chosen little old me to book. Honoured though I am my first thought is could he be genuine.  Not met a single one of them yet.

I do get to meet a few Irish men though as they are usually over here for stag weekends. They phone before travelling to check am I available on the Saturday afternoon (when they are seriously hungover) and are usually ok guys if a bit brash. I always recognize the Irish numbers and brace myself.  ;D

My tracker shows some obscure locations around the world from those googling wgs and landing on my site. They seem just lurkers though and not actual punters.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 12 September 2018, 09:33:26 pm
Ah yes, flying in next week.
Yea sure that sounds fine, seems you have read my profile. So, as you are aware you need to pop along to AW do a booking.
Oh, you haven't got an account? Takes seconds to create. So how do you want to pay the deposit?

Occasionally though they do surprise you, and are legit. Have had a couple of international regulars over the years who travel to the UK a couple of times a year, and I had originally marked as TW's.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 13 September 2018, 01:55:47 am
Wow good evening stunning ***** *****.
I’ve been admiring your profile on AW and imagine what I would love to do with you given the opportunity xxxxxx so would you like to meet me for some sexy fun babe? Xxxxxx


This message also included about 20 winky emojis and the raindrop emoji. Vile.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 13 September 2018, 09:03:51 am
Burying my father on Friday so will need cheering up after the funeral. How can you put a smile back on my face?

I chose not to.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 14 September 2018, 10:30:55 am
Received this at 3am this morning -


U WORK
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 14 September 2018, 08:39:47 pm
Quote from: GG on 14 September 2018, 10:30:55 am
U WORK

After some of the texts I've had this week I'm starting to wonder whether they just set the phone to voice input and then give it to the dog to play with. And.some of the emails have been worse  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 16 September 2018, 04:44:04 pm
Anyone else getting the 'do you do poo wee and fart' emails on AW? He's got loads of good feedback but I keep telling him that 'poo wee and fart' isn't an actual thing  :FF And we come back to the 'I can't poo to order' statement  :FF Wish I could, I'd shit all over some of these daft fuckers  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 16 September 2018, 07:22:56 pm
Quote from: someonesomewhere on 12 September 2018, 03:28:11 pm
He starts the conversation with hi I wonder if you can help resolve an argument between me and my girlfriend or words to that effect.

Oh god yes he's contacted me a few times. I blocked him after the 2nd text but from memory I think I was in Gatwick.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 16 September 2018, 08:12:31 pm
Hello is this XXe
Yes
What do you offer/not offer (see the profile. Every question I tell him to read profile)
Where are you? (I'm in London, idiot laughs haha so am I)
Haha I am genuine I don't want to waste each others time, blah blah blah
How much? (like I said everything is on the profile but it's )
Cheeky fucker wanted me to knock £50 off my hour. I laughed. Told me he will go away and think about it and call me back in 15 minutes.

Yea mate cos I am that desperate I am going to sit and wait for you to decide if you want to be that tight.

He called back with a new offer. £30 less, some booze and a watch. Told him to chuck in a camel as well seeing as we seem to have taken a step back in history when things were traded for goods.


Yes I also get the U Work?

Sorry keeps coming on top. Bit hard to talk can we meet? (that one is still waiting for me to reply)


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 16 September 2018, 09:11:26 pm
Mind blown babe wanna book ya

Oh how nice of him to say so.  The word "wanna" makes it an instant no for me (am I being too harsh do you think?)  ::)

These are not real potential bookers as far as I am concerned. Just daft wasters.

Same goes with a one word email "stunning" which is supposed to make me go all giggly and shy of course.

yawwwwwwwwn
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 16 September 2018, 09:18:43 pm
Quote from: Justine on 16 September 2018, 09:11:26 pm
Mind blown babe wanna book ya

Oh how nice of him to say so.  The word "wanna" makes it an instant no for me (am I being too harsh do you think?)  ::)

These are not real potential bookers as far as I am concerned. Just daft wasters.

Same goes with a one word email "stunning" which is supposed to make me go all giggly and shy of course.

yawwwwwwwwn

I can't bear it when I answer the phone to a barrage of sickly sweet compliments, then silence as they wait for me to respond...a few seconds before I hang up and block. I don't even give them the chance to tell me if they actually wanted to book because I know the answer. It's even more ridiculous when they go all over complimentary and say how beautiful I am as I don't show my face! Actually I look like a bag of spanners but if that's your thing mate... :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 16 September 2018, 10:19:10 pm
This man made me Angry with his mesS

I'll go straight to the point like I have been doing with other escorts to No avail. I'm a Nigerian male currently in Nigeria. I come to the UK on holidays & studied there too. Short & simple I'm seeking a girlfriends, a life partner & a friend & I find escorts are more inclined to consider my proposal as I imagine they get a lot of weirdos asking for weird things such as this. My goal is to be British & in return I would take care of your financial & emotional needs. But first u must be willing to try a relationship as I would prefer something real with a chance of commitment before I go into it. So sorry I have to ask you this way but will you be willing to date long distance and over the phone to get to know each other till we meet physically. I'm will to send money every now & then to facilitate ur complicity so as to feel I'm just a client if thing don't work out between us & U have no regrets. Please take ur time to think I don't require an immediate response. Thank u love.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sammy s on 17 September 2018, 04:29:10 pm
u free now for a good rimming baby?

It states clearly on my profile that I don’t give or receive rimming! The fact he called me “baby” was an automatic no no too!

Hate when I get asked if I’m free right now for a booking too. Do they seriously think I’m sitting ready and waiting for them and they can get to my home within 30 seconds?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sammy s on 17 September 2018, 04:33:01 pm
Also had another one via text recently that went as follows:

Him - how much do you charge?
Me - Rates are all on my profile.
Him - which one’s your profile?
Me - You contacted me first so you tell me?!

I then blocked him before he could respond as I’ve got zero patience with idiots like that who can’t even keep track of who they are contacting
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 17 September 2018, 06:00:32 pm
Quote from: sammy s on 17 September 2018, 04:33:01 pm
Also had another one via text recently that went as follows:

Him - how much do you charge?
Me - Rates are all on my profile.
Him - which one’s your profile?
Me - You contacted me first so you tell me?!

I then blocked him before he could respond as I’ve got zero patience with idiots like that who can’t even keep track of who they are contacting

Hahahah - you was generous with that idiot the fact he asked how much do you charge, is an instant block for me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: trashbaby on 17 September 2018, 08:32:17 pm
Chap called today asking about arranging a gangbang. invariably these guys are timewasters but i was bored so humoured him. said he needed to email me and asked if he had an adultwork account? and he blurted out that he did but that he doesn't use it to book and mumbled something about how a girl left him bad feedback to 'stitch him up'

why yes, of course, stranger with unexplained bad feedback, you may have unsupervised access to my body and premises! That doesn't sound dodgy AT ALL!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 18 September 2018, 01:52:33 pm
Cheeky fucker tried convincing me that I was on a DirectChat call with him. On a withheld number  ;D Told him I was ending the call, there was something wrong with my phone, and I would refund him once the credits cleared. He muttered aw fuck just before he hung up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 19 September 2018, 11:10:59 pm
I thought aw was bad for idiots, but since I've renewed my viva ad, I've had these beauties:

"what does your ad say?" Errr, you tell me!

"are you in Portsmouth?" Clearly bloody not, as my ad says where I am!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PissedOffPrincess on 20 September 2018, 05:29:01 pm
Long explicit text ending in

"If you are clean I will book you"

another one wants

 clit clamps --- ooowwwchhh

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvymamma on 21 September 2018, 04:47:47 pm
, lovely profile you have, clearly took a lot of pride and care in putting it together.

I hope this does not come across as precious, but I like to feel a click with someone before arranging a meeting. Are you open to chatting on whatsapp, maybe the phone?

this guy has 68 feedback, 2 escort 1 of which was a no show, the rest direct chat/webcam.  So he wants to sit and chat/wank with me for free??? Told him I would be more than happy to chat via AW direct messages (for 50 credits a message) What a joker!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 23 September 2018, 08:42:31 pm
"You're on a premium number, give me your real number". I didn't think giffgaff offered premium numbers. I had to laugh and told him no, to which he said, "I'm not paying to make a booking". I wonder if his trick has worked with anyone, but it's made my spit out my drink! HAHA!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 23 September 2018, 10:54:04 pm
2:06 this morning. Just got home from the pub, work phone was still on, messages on screen was going to ignore but my mate is a bad influence.

Idiot - Hey XXx. Are you free for a incqll
Me- Ah another one who cannot be arsed to read a thing about hours and incall/outcall.
Idiot - I'm Fucked on coke sorry.
Idiot - You want to meet or not?
Me- Haha why would I want to meet a coke head?
Me - ask the coke to read my profile
Idiot - ok
Idiot - come to me?
Idiot - Like last time?
Me - (thinking wtf) who are you (it's not a saved contact anywhere)
Idiot - we met last time at me place
Me - You have me confused.
Idiot - Come and drinks and inlixked your pussy good (texts went downhill from here)
Ignored
03:39
Idiot - Bro I need an other one. At XXXX Street. (a couple of more texts to the dealer lol, including the realisation he's been texting me not the dealer)
07:13
Idiot - Hey
Idiot - Are you free for an outcall
Me - Go to fucking sleep
Idiot - Incall
There was also a call at 02:36 my friend answered. The guy must have been confused lol to hear a bloke answer.
13.34 another call asking for an outcall, again my mate answered, told him yea baby, what time do you want me to come over. Will be just like last time.
Idiot hung up. Yes, he might go and slate me professionally, but his texts are a lot damning and some I have left out just in case  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 25 September 2018, 05:19:32 pm
Idiot - You open for business
Me - I'm not a shop
Idiot - okay can I pop by?
Me - I am neither a shop nor do I do incall

Two hours later
Idiot - you open for business?
Me- I'm still not a shop
Idiot - Oh
Me - Maybe if you stop phoning escorts like they are a shop or reading their profiles you might have actually found someone willing to meet you now  ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PissedOffPrincess on 25 September 2018, 08:27:51 pm
email received

>>sweetheart being a milf is just what i need, however, i do not pay for things, i have no need to, which is why i thought you might like to be pleased and pleasured, having the six different types or orgasm, it would be me doing a service, i would love to make you squirt ........you can contact me on <<

Ignored him

He must not be able to believe he is not going to be offered a freebi he sent a text asking if I got his email.

Ignored
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 25 September 2018, 09:15:24 pm
The above post:

I want to meet this man.  Six types of orgasm?

I have only had one kind, now I won't sleep tonight.  I just know it.

 ??? :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: englishrebecca121 on 25 September 2018, 09:56:43 pm
2 Lovelys today

1)Do you do hardsports into my mouth and force me to eat it.

2)can u ask if you do bareback im clean and tested and will pay you £200 and give you diamond?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 26 September 2018, 12:13:14 am
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 25 September 2018, 09:56:43 pm
2 Lovelys today

1)Do you do hardsports into my mouth and force me to eat it.

Oh, I've had this delightful gent before.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PissedOffPrincess on 26 September 2018, 12:16:37 am
Quote from: Justine on 25 September 2018, 09:15:24 pm
The above post:

I want to meet this man.  Six types of orgasm?

I have only had one kind, now I won't sleep tonight.  I just know it.

 ??? :o

I know I missed out big time

Money hungry

6 types of bank notes will give me the greatest pleasure ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Grace D on 26 September 2018, 12:29:04 am
Quote from: englishrebecca121 on 25 September 2018, 09:56:43 pm
2 Lovelys today

1)Do you do hardsports into my mouth and force me to eat it.

2)can u ask if you do bareback im clean and tested and will pay you £200 and give you diamond?!

I had one similar today: Will you fart and pee and poo in front of me? No sex, just farting, peeing and pooing for the hour please.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Grace D on 26 September 2018, 12:31:22 am
Another one I had today has been sending me messages every other week just asking for my postcode. No greetings or anything. He's been on the site for two years and has zero feedback so I've finally blocked him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss harlequin on 26 September 2018, 07:43:07 am
Quote from: PissedOffPrincess on 25 September 2018, 08:27:51 pm
email received

>>sweetheart being a milf is just what i need, however, i do not pay for things, i have no need to, which is why i thought you might like to be pleased and pleasured, having the six different types or orgasm, it would be me doing a service, i would love to make you squirt ........you can contact me on <<

Ignored him

He must not be able to believe he is not going to be offered a freebi he sent a text asking if I got his email.

Ignored

Pathetic if only their wallets were as big as their egos
How is it they manage to get them selves out the door in a morning without assistance talk about care in the community required good god
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 26 September 2018, 07:46:49 am
When I was touring in Stoke I had a guy email me offering to be a regular and he would like an initial 'friendly chat' over a cup of tea.

They really don't grasp we are running businesses at times do they!

I had to email him and put him straight that escorts don't do free meets and we do not meet just for a cuppa lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DarcyLady on 27 September 2018, 12:16:25 am
Quote from: Lushblossom on 26 September 2018, 07:46:49 am
When I was touring in Stoke I had a guy email me offering to be a regular and he would like an initial 'friendly chat' over a cup of tea.

They really don't grasp we are running businesses at times do they!

I had to email him and put him straight that escorts don't do free meets and we do not meet just for a cuppa lol.

They have no idea. I've had several people ask if I wanted my dinner brought in payment for services offered. Hilarious.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 27 September 2018, 12:39:25 am
Some are idiots though and do meet for a cuppa and pay. They often want to leer at the goods haha though. I met one earlier, he gave me the cash that he 'owed' me as we met as friends. He bought us both coffee. We sat down. I took my jacket off and his face dropped. I was dressed as I would meeting a friend for coffee  ;D at his insistence. When I meet friends for coffee I am usually wearing jeans, t-shirt and a hoodie. He wanted more of the 'hooker' look, which I don't do anyway.

He asked if I could take the hoodie off - nope too cold in the place. He asked what I had on under it, told him underwear and a t-shirt.
He wanted a bit of wank fodder for later, which he didn't get. Asked if I would go up to someone and say hi or something, nope because if someone did that to me it would annoy me.

Poor fucker paid £60 for 30 minutes of being told no plus coffees. I'd already hit my target and gave him a small discount. ;D

I actually thought he was a TW, he wanted me to travel to him, I refused and suggested somewhere else. We met in a location I was at anyway and I stood away from the coffee shop discreetly to see if he showed.

I've had a few like this. They just want the company. Often older guys who split their time between the UK and their home country. Want female company, want to fuck but feel too guilty cheating on their wives. Or some want a regular thing but want to see if there's any connection first. Or they are just shy and trying to build themselves up to sex. As long as they don't turn needy I don't really care.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 27 September 2018, 09:28:24 am

Hey how’s it going? I have a strange fettish request and was wondering if it’s something you could help me with?
Basically I have a weird thing for eating really fragrant sweaty un washed pussy
and was wondering if I could book your first appointment of the day and you don’t wash when you go to sleep or when you wake up and I’ll come and lick your sweaty morning pussy and make you cum in my mouth :) and do some watersports :)
Is that something you could do?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 27 September 2018, 10:28:01 am
Quote from: PissedOffPrincess on 25 September 2018, 08:27:51 pm
however, i do not pay for things, i have no need to

I wonder how that goes down at Tesco checkout?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 27 September 2018, 11:40:16 am
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 27 September 2018, 10:28:01 am
I wonder how that goes down at Tesco checkout?

There are things I do not pay for either. oh can only think of fresh air at the moment.  :)

A recent introductory email began with

Well hello young lady

 ::)  not a chance mate!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 28 September 2018, 04:33:47 pm
Quote from: sammy s on 17 September 2018, 04:33:01 pm
Also had another one via text recently that went as follows:

Him - how much do you charge?
Me - Rates are all on my profile.
Him - which one’s your profile?
Me - You contacted me first so you tell me?!

I then blocked him before he could respond as I’ve got zero patience with idiots like that who can’t even keep track of who they are contacting
He probably ring Nike and think it's nandos !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 28 September 2018, 05:46:36 pm
Hi, can I ask you something? I won't feel offended if you say no.
Me - Erm, ok. (thinking it's going to be you like a big cock or some equally stupid question)
Idiot - Basically I'm down here in Boots and today's my last day.
Me - Ok
Idiot - So I'm was thinking that you could come down here and take anything you want.
Me - Oh so cos I am a fucking hooker I'm also a shoplifter?
Idiot - Err. Wouldn't really be shoplifting as you would have sucked my cock beforehand
Me - Are you on fucking glue or something?

I should add I take my phone out with me. I had that conversation whilst shopping. The security guard within earshot.
Yes, I know, not professional to be swearing at them. But let's be honest, anyone they go and complain to about my attitude is going to be either another idiot like them or thinking their mate is a bellend.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anais on 29 September 2018, 11:21:43 am
Text:

' HI babe! Where u?
You got ur own car?
Coz I wanna meet u somewhere and fuck the life out a ya in it?
Sounds good? Xx

What a lovely text for me to wake up to  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 29 September 2018, 12:57:21 pm
A guy sends an email stating he has no bank card and only £45 cash on him and if I was quiet would I see him lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 29 September 2018, 04:14:22 pm
Idiot called - DO you squirt?
Me - Do I piss myself
Idiot - err yea
Me - No. Do you
Idiot - (sounding confused and jacking off) erm no
Me - Why not?

Didn't want to talk about his inability to piss himself and ungrateful wanker hung up.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 30 September 2018, 04:53:00 pm



hey darling how are you,
your stunning would love to eat your pussy all night
make you sit on my face till i drain your pussy with my tounge
then after that take out my long fat throbbing dick and put it in your little tight hole hmmm

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 30 September 2018, 06:11:47 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 30 September 2018, 04:53:00 pm


hey darling how are you,
your stunning would love to eat your pussy all night
make you sit on my face till i drain your pussy with my tounge
then after that take out my long fat throbbing dick and put it in your little tight hole hmmm

I would be tempted to message back.
Isn't it inconvenient having a straw instead of a tongue?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 30 September 2018, 11:26:43 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 30 September 2018, 04:53:00 pm


hey darling how are you,
your stunning would love to eat your pussy all night
make you sit on my face till i drain your pussy with my tounge
then after that take out my long fat throbbing dick and put it in your little tight hole hmmm

I would of replied. Omg sorry was taking a fat big shit. You still want want to make me cum with this shitty arse
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 01 October 2018, 02:28:40 pm
I was supposed to be turned on I think!!!
Didn't do it for me though like so many other ridiculous messages.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MelissaS on 01 October 2018, 05:34:41 pm
I could actually launch my phone across the room sometimes. With force. Lots of it.

I had someone call for a booking today, he was SOOO rude. Horrible. Bad mannered, demanding, no please's or thank you's. Very disrespectful. His attitude STANK and I was actually a bit pissed off when I came off the phone.

I was very blunt with him which didn't phase him. He wanted a booking today and I couldn't do it (nor did I want to) so he wanted to book in for Wednesday. I booked him in with the intention of just cancelling on him a bit later then blocking him.

So I go to text him and cancel and it turns out, this is the same dickhead who sent me these stupid messages over the weekend and I'd not saved his number.

Him: Are you free x

Me: No I'm expensive. X (I then ignored all messages after this point)

Him: Lol x

'Where are you xx'

'Please can I come over pretty please x lol'

'Please xx'

'Was that a no babe x'

'Don't know what your missing lol'

I don't know what I'm missing??!!!!!  :o :o :o Jesus wept :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 01 October 2018, 05:50:07 pm
Whenever I hear "You don't know what you're missing" I always mentally reply "I'm pretty sure I do, which is why I said no."
(all credit to Stephen King's Tommyknockers.)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 01 October 2018, 06:03:59 pm
So annoying when you have to painstakingly extract the booking info from them and it still gets you nowhere.

Had 'hello miss any way I can visit you today please' by AW email, so I asked for a name, time and booking length, all I got in response was '30 mins', repeated that I needed a time and that I could only do evening and he added on '30 mins, this afternnon [sic]'  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 01 October 2018, 06:19:00 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 01 October 2018, 05:50:07 pm
Whenever I hear "You don't know what you're missing" I always mentally reply "I'm pretty sure I do, which is why I said no."
(all credit to Stephen King's Tommyknockers.)

Yes, I got a 'your loss' today. I looked at the text and resisted the urge to reply - 'No, it really, really isn't...'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 01 October 2018, 07:04:20 pm
Dickhead said he has a 14.5 inch cock. Told him to ring guiness book of records as the largest in the world is 13.5. He's still ringing me but funnily enough I'm ignoring him. Too many wankers to count recently.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sammy s on 02 October 2018, 10:51:14 am
By text at 10am today...

Him: when are you free and what’s your address?
Me: free between 2-7. Address details given once a booking has been confirmed
Him: I need a booking now as I start work at 11:30
Me: sorry but as stated on my profile I need 2-3 hours notice because I fit bookings around my other job
Him: no problem. How about 10:30 instead?
Me: Thats still only 30 mins notice.
Him: 10:45 then?

BLOCKED
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 03 October 2018, 12:13:33 pm
Text. I I see you massage me yes?
Calls preferred not texts please.
Text I small no English.
Do not message again :FF!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sammy s on 04 October 2018, 12:58:09 pm
Text I got this morning:

Hi I’m Peter. Can you put me in a big bin as if I’m rubbish?

I blocked the number straight away as have zero tolerance for nonsense like this
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 04 October 2018, 04:29:12 pm
Quote from: sammy s on 04 October 2018, 12:58:09 pm
Text I got this morning:

Hi I’m Peter. Can you put me in a big bin as if I’m rubbish?

I blocked the number straight away as have zero tolerance for nonsense like this

Is this the same Peter who wants people to sell him to a chinese takeaway?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 05 October 2018, 10:37:20 am
Quote from: Gypsy on 04 October 2018, 04:29:12 pm
Is this the same Peter who wants people to sell him to a chinese takeaway?  ::)

That's what I thought!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dolls on 05 October 2018, 11:39:57 am
Text: Do you pay pigs?

Blocked. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 05 October 2018, 02:55:39 pm
Quote from: Gypsy on 04 October 2018, 04:29:12 pm
Is this the same Peter who wants people to sell him to a chinese takeaway?  ::)

He also asks you to cover him in sun dried tomatoes.

I blocked him because doing anything with sun dried tomatoes apart from eating them is a capital offence in my book.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 06 October 2018, 09:17:08 pm
Him: Fancy being a naughty little school girl tonight? (I don’t offer roleplay or dirty talk both online and in person so bad start)
Me: I don’t offer phone sex, are you wanting a booking or not
Asks me if I will wear my school girl outfit and to send him my postcode
Me: No, you don’t have a booking. I don’t know when you were after, how long or what services
Him: thanks for being cooperative (hangs up)

Can’t be arsed with that nonsense. Prick
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 07 October 2018, 07:03:52 pm
Hello hunni how are you you look so amazing on your pics I would love to meet you when are you free for an incall?? Do you like anal and watersports?? Also may I ask how much would it cost for you to suck my dog and play with his cock while I watch?? Doesn't matter if you don't do this I'd still love to meet you xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 07 October 2018, 08:05:50 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 07 October 2018, 07:03:52 pm
Hello hunni how are you you look so amazing on your pics I would love to meet you when are you free for an incall?? Do you like anal and watersports?? Also may I ask how much would it cost for you to suck my dog and play with his cock while I watch?? Doesn't matter if you don't do this I'd still love to meet you xx

Since doing this there is very little that shocks me but I have no words for that aside from disgusting.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 08 October 2018, 04:09:12 am
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 07 October 2018, 08:05:50 pm
Since doing this there is very little that shocks me but I have no words for that aside from disgusting.
There’s a website called Tag the Sponsor, it’s basical a website that’s intention is to name and shame certain (socialite/semi famous/apparently well known though not to me) sugarbaby girls who advertise on sites like seeking arrangement. Theres screenshots of threads of msgs where a guy is arranging for the girl to go see a guy in Dubai or wherever. The majority of the girls have  done it for real previously and most are accepting of and say they’ve done these requests before on previous bookings with sugar Daddy/client, basically wanking off camels and all kinds of gross bestiality acts! It’s absolutely awful


Sorry meant to tag Hannaah
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 08 October 2018, 11:17:54 am
Quote from: TheLittleMatchGirl on 08 October 2018, 04:09:12 am
There’s a website called Tag the Sponsor, it’s basical a website that’s intention is to name and shame certain (socialite/semi famous/apparently well known though not to me) sugarbaby girls who advertise on sites like seeking arrangement. Theres screenshots of threads of msgs where a guy is arranging for the girl to go see a guy in Dubai or wherever. The majority of the girls have  done it for real previously and most are accepting of and say they’ve done these requests before on previous bookings with sugar Daddy/client, basically wanking off camels and all kinds of gross bestiality acts! It’s absolutely awful


Sorry meant to tag Hannaah

I have read that site when bored. You notice a pattern its immature non commitment men with no families. Spoilt rich adult babies. It is never the mature gent.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 09 October 2018, 03:01:37 pm
Quote from: TheLittleMatchGirl on 08 October 2018, 04:09:12 am
There’s a website called Tag the Sponsor, it’s basical a website that’s intention is to name and shame certain (socialite/semi famous/apparently well known though not to me) sugarbaby girls who advertise on sites like seeking arrangement. Theres screenshots of threads of msgs where a guy is arranging for the girl to go see a guy in Dubai or wherever. The majority of the girls have  done it for real previously and most are accepting of and say they’ve done these requests before on previous bookings with sugar Daddy/client, basically wanking off camels and all kinds of gross bestiality acts! It’s absolutely awful


Sorry meant to tag Hannaah

Yikes! I don't know what goes in on some people's minds.  :-X

Today's gem:

Subject: Hi
-----------------------------------------------------------------
U ok hun?


I'd be better if I didn't get this nonsense!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 09 October 2018, 10:04:31 pm
Guy with stupid voice just called wanting a 45 minute incall, dinner date, smoking fetish, anal play and a 2 hour booking all at once, and he wanted to pay via American Express  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 10 October 2018, 01:16:52 pm
Could I offer £30.00 for a quickie with condom.  after being told I don't do quickies!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: denise96 on 10 October 2018, 02:25:56 pm
by text :  "can you do 10 mins for 20" :)) and i don't do quickies
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amaliaxo on 10 October 2018, 03:33:05 pm
“Hi please can you shit in my mouth that’s all I want I want to worship your shit cover me with it goddess”
I don’t offer hs  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 10 October 2018, 09:05:21 pm
A text:

Hi. Toys?

And another from a different imbecile at 5.43am: U on?

 ::) ??? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 11 October 2018, 12:50:06 am
Quote from: katrina on 10 October 2018, 09:05:21 pm
A text:

Hi. Toys?

And another from a different imbecile at 5.43am: U on?

 ::) ??? ???

@ U on?

I would of replied cos of boredom.

Yes heavy clotty period.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 11 October 2018, 12:58:37 pm
Quote from: DynamiteDoll on 11 October 2018, 12:50:06 am
@ U on?

I would of replied cos of boredom.

Yes heavy clotty period.

 ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvymamma on 11 October 2018, 02:07:04 pm
I have this guy down as a TW, he keeps saying he is going to book but never does, I just ignore him, got this from him yesterday, made me laugh;

Hi beautiful. I'm so sorry if I got your hopes up, I sure did with mine.... I'd like to see you at some point but I can't justify £120 for 30mins, I'm sure you are worth it from your reviews. Maybe 1day x

My reply;
It's fine you didn't get my hopes up! There are lots of other ladies on here that are more suited to your budget, so I wish you well.
Best wishes 

They are so cheeky, does he think I'm sitting at home crying as my hopes if seeing him have been dashed?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 11 October 2018, 07:54:39 pm
Quote from: DynamiteDoll on 11 October 2018, 12:50:06 am
@ U on?

I would of replied cos of boredom.

Yes heavy clotty period.


There are some guys who are into it fetish-wise. One of my regular phone chats is all about my cycle
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 12 October 2018, 04:36:30 pm
If I got paid for every time I've heard, "give me good price", I would be a very rich woman. Just had this call:

Idiot: Hi, how much is it please - 1 hour?
Me: x amount
Idiot: Half an hour is 80?
Me: No, please read my rates
Idiot: Ok...so I want to soak your pussy (????)
Me: Would you like a booking?
Idiot: Give me good price
Me: *about to hang up* I don't see hagglers.
Idiot: Ok, 1 hour is 100, yes?
Me: No. Call back when you can read my profile correctly.
Idiot: Give me good price or I call cheaper girls.
Me: hangs up

I'll hand him over to the cheaper girls to haggle with. If he was offered services at 50 an hour, he would still ask for a good price.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 13 October 2018, 09:25:17 pm
Idiot calls me and hangs up straight away.
I text back basically questioning the missed call.
 Idiot text back call me
I text - why?
idiot - I prefer to talk on the phone
Me - Funny that, when people want to talk with me I prefer they call me.

Seriously what type of bullshit is that that we are calling them because they are demanding it ffs. If they cannot afford credit then how do they expect to be able to afford a hooker?  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ChelseaGirl on 13 October 2018, 09:51:09 pm
Today's charmer..

'Yo gimme yo postcode, wanna fuck that ass till it bleed. Your not really my type though so I'm not paying your rates, if you can take a non stop pounding with lots of blood I'll give you half'

(I Dont offer anal to anyone just btw)

I Dont reply, 5mins later

'Bitch why you not replying? All you Fucking prostitutes think your too good. I pay you so you do what I say. Send me your Fucking postcode'

Again I ignored, 5mins later

'Bitch you have no idea who I am Im going to call you off another number and rape your ass'

Ignored again, few mins later

'So are you gonna send me your postcode or what?

Ignored again

'Why are you ignoring me'

Ignored again

'Babe? Postcode'

Ignored again

About an hour later

'Hey babe can I book an incall for tonight? Send me your postcode,  x

Quickly followed by

'Babe reply to me, Im fit really good looking 30year old'

As if he completely forgot about what he sent a couple of hours  earlier!!! Seriously unhinged.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ChelseaGirl on 13 October 2018, 10:09:39 pm
Today's other charmer..

Hey u in Southampton?

No Im in Kingston

It says your in Southampton

Well Im not. Im in Kingston

I want to meet you for incall tonight in Southampton. Your profile says your here why are you lying about where you are?

Blocked

I checked my profile about 3-4 times to check my location settings were 100% right! They were!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 13 October 2018, 11:09:33 pm
.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 14 October 2018, 01:39:00 am
Idiot 1: I would like to book you, but I want proof that I'm not paying for a drug habit.

Idiot 2: I have a kink
Me: What's that?
Idiot 2: Do you want more kids? I want to get an escort pregnant.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 14 October 2018, 01:43:24 am
Oh, and...

Idiot 3: Can we meet?
Me: I'm sorry, I can't accommodate your needs.
Idiot 3: Ok but can we meet?
Idiot 3: I want to meet
Me: No
Idiot 3: Ok but can we meet?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MelissaS on 14 October 2018, 08:38:42 am
One idiot this week:

Him: Nice, but tits too small.

Me: Send me some money and I'll take notice. I'm not listening unless you're paying my bills.

Him: So you don't need a gardener then?

 ???  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MelissaS on 14 October 2018, 08:40:06 am
Another idiot I forgot about from a while ago!

"Hi would you destroy my marriage if I start meeting you on a regular basis for a minimum of two years babe xxx"

What the hell  ???  :FF  ;D

You have to laugh sometimes!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jessica25 on 16 October 2018, 12:24:31 pm
Sub][number removed, merged with correct thread][/sub]

SORRY WRONG THREAD!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 16 October 2018, 12:32:04 pm
I've had this one too, and I'm pretty sure he's in this thread somewhere. Either way (and leaving the obvious stupid timewasterness aside) sixteen isn't underage - it's the legal age of consent.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 16 October 2018, 09:40:22 pm
Idiot: postcode
Idiot: postcode??
Idiot:?????
Idiot: POSTCODE
Idiot: what the fuck is your postcode?

2 hours later...

Idiot: hi babe what's your postcode?
Idiot: whats your postcode babe?
Idiot: i said POSTCODE

Someone's a postcode collector!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 16 October 2018, 10:21:46 pm
Postcode??????

Give him one for a kebab shop or public toilet.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SuperCheese on 16 October 2018, 10:52:57 pm
I was toying with the idea of sending him the postcode of the local funeral home, but I have a dark sense of humour.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 17 October 2018, 02:10:38 pm
Subject:   Evening sexy


Horny Male looking to meet sexy slim shaven horny lady this Wednesday evening in Glasgow central hotel
I would like to spend some quality time with sexy lady who is bisexual loves massage oral toys mutual masterbation watching porn dirty talk would love to talk about turn ons experience previous fucks fantasy's who wants to be licked fucked massaged all over and then to have a sexy escort join us for a hour where you will be the central of our attention fucking you doggy style while she licks your shaven pussey and playing with you Plus always wanted to watch couple fuck but not some hairy assed man but may be lady boy with big cock and tits fucking you as I lick your pussey from front to back
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 17 October 2018, 02:32:57 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 17 October 2018, 03:35:55 pm
Quote from: 80s synthetic on 17 October 2018, 02:32:57 pm
You can really sense the enthusiasm and excitement.
I hope he'll get all the pussey he's so longing for.

I'll choose pizza and a movie over sex any time.
Funny thing is my whole USP is having a bush (or hairy pussey I guess), and I wouldn't call myself slim either  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 17 October 2018, 03:44:58 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jessica25 on 18 October 2018, 10:26:29 am
Quote from: amy on 16 October 2018, 12:32:04 pm
I've had this one too, and I'm pretty sure he's in this thread somewhere. Either way (and leaving the obvious stupid timewasterness aside) sixteen isn't underage - it's the legal age of consent.


No but isnt it illegal for us to take payment from someone under the age of 18 for sexual services? Ive always thought this! I thought 18 was the legal age for this industry!

Morally, i wouldnt sleep with someone under 18, and my preference is 21 + as the younger ones seem to expect PSE on tap, and throughout! But still- news to me that 16 is the legal age! ha! we learn something new everyday!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 18 October 2018, 10:34:04 am
Quote from: Jessica25 on 18 October 2018, 10:26:29 am

No but isnt it illegal for us to take payment from someone under the age of 18 for sexual services? Ive always thought this! I thought 18 was the legal age for this industry!

Morally, i wouldnt sleep with someone under 18, and my preference is 21 + as the younger ones seem to expect PSE on tap, and throughout! But still- news to me that 16 is the legal age! ha! we learn something new everyday!

Yes, I thought the same. And also there's a strange law that if you're an older person over a certain age the person has to be over 17. Never heard of this before and never would have done if a family member hadn't had the job they had in the police.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 18 October 2018, 10:46:53 am
Quote from: Gypsy on 18 October 2018, 10:34:04 am
Yes, I thought the same. And also there's a strange law that if you're an older person over a certain age the person has to be over 17. Never heard of this before and never would have done if a family member hadn't had the job they had in the police.
Quote from: Jessica25 on 18 October 2018, 10:26:29 am

No but isnt it illegal for us to take payment from someone under the age of 18 for sexual services? Ive always thought this! I thought 18 was the legal age for this industry!

Morally, i wouldnt sleep with someone under 18, and my preference is 21 + as the younger ones seem to expect PSE on tap, and throughout! But still- news to me that 16 is the legal age! ha! we learn something new everyday!

No I'm pretty sure the age of consent for anyone is 16, but if you're selling sex you must be 18 or over.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: denise96 on 18 October 2018, 12:07:39 pm
idiot: where you from?
me: why? i have all the details on my profile so please check again.
idiot: ok, i don't remember to be honest where i found your add
me:  .....
idiot:can you please send me your sexy picture i'll go this weekend and give you latin cock
me: lol :)))) bye
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jessica25 on 18 October 2018, 02:02:11 pm
Quote from: Gypsy on 18 October 2018, 10:34:04 am
Yes, I thought the same. And also there's a strange law that if you're an older person over a certain age the person has to be over 17. Never heard of this before and never would have done if a family member hadn't had the job they had in the police.

Thats madness!! But yea i thought in this industry they had to be 18 or over, because you need to 18 to access the site no?
Anyway- hes clearly a dickhead ha! But yea clarifies what i thought, 16 is too young for this industry!

x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 18 October 2018, 02:07:48 pm
Quote from: Jessica25 on 18 October 2018, 10:26:29 am
No but isnt it illegal for us to take payment from someone under the age of 18 for sexual services? Ive always thought this! I thought 18 was the legal age for this industry!

No it is not. It's illegal to pay for sex with a sex worker who is under eighteen but even in that situation the sex worker would not be the one breaking the law. As far as punters are concerned the normal legal age of consent applies - it's unlikely that many of us would be rushing to see a sixteen year old punter but we wouldn't be in any trouble if we did.

Now that's sorted (again), the thread can get back on topic and stay there :).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 18 October 2018, 02:34:20 pm
Email received today...

im interested

Literally like that. No punctuation or capital letters. No clue as to what he's interested in.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 18 October 2018, 05:45:20 pm
Him: It says on your profile you've very responsive to the right touching. What does that mean?
Me: If you press my nipples in the correct order, I fart God Save The Queen.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 18 October 2018, 09:59:04 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 18 October 2018, 05:45:20 pm
Him: It says on your profile you've very responsive to the right touching. What does that mean?
Me: If you press my nipples in the correct order, I fart God Save The Queen.

Hahahaha oh gosh. What did the idiot say
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarastar1 on 19 October 2018, 11:23:49 am
Just had a bloke trying to book.
We decided 2pm.
I was very clear when to confirm (1230) for the booking to go ahead.

After all was arranged he started texting me asking to confirm the services. Both are services I specialise in and my selling point. I didn’t mind confirming but something told my inner gut he hadn’t read the profile ( I could see he has been texting for nearly 2 years) and I prefer men to contact directly based on current info on the profile.

I asked him then if he was 30+ as that’s what I prefer and who I will only see. I restrict on age based on a few factors..... family members and friends in that age bracket....boundary pushing blokes who want a PSE not a GFE.....
Anyway he is 27 but turns out is arrogant as hell!

I said no I won’t see him as I prefer a mature bloke ( the fact he hadn’t mentioned the age in the first place also was irritating as perhaps I would have made an exception)

I ended up getting a load of boundary pushing messages telling me it’s only 3years difference....how he works for a bank in Canary Wharf  :FF that he is mature.....why won’t I see him etc!!!

I told him if I refuse I refuse ( that’s it) the fact that he also stated that he ‘very much doubts’ we would bump into eachother socially makes him seem a dickhead anyway!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 19 October 2018, 01:04:56 pm
Quote from: DynamiteDoll on 18 October 2018, 09:59:04 pm
Hahahaha oh gosh. What did the idiot say

This was on text, funnily enough he didn't reply!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 19 October 2018, 02:15:58 pm
Some twat just called me asking if I do phone chat, I said yes but you will first need to get me a phone top up...To this he said "Oh so it's not free then?" I said no of course its not, nothing is free in life don't you know that?!! He sounded genuinely surprised!!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 19 October 2018, 02:24:42 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 18 October 2018, 05:45:20 pm
Him: It says on your profile you've very responsive to the right touching. What does that mean?
Me: If you press my nipples in the correct order, I fart God Save The Queen.

 ;D I think *some* would actually attempt to do this in a booking!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 21 October 2018, 07:25:44 pm
Quote from: katrina on 19 October 2018, 02:15:58 pm
Some twat just called me asking if I do phone chat, I said yes but you will first need to get me a phone top up...To this he said "Oh so it's not free then?" I said no of course its not, nothing is free in life don't you know that?!! He sounded genuinely surprised!!  :FF

I had the same experience a while back. On my webcam I put up free phone chat in probate. The amount of phone wankers I had was unreal. Never again!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alexia24 on 22 October 2018, 07:15:29 am
I've just woken up to this:

Hi, can you send me some some more pics of you as I can't see you face. I think the pics on your ad are not enough. I like mature women so that will you give you a better chance to be chosen by me tonight. I also want a pic of you in black stockings and red high heels which i will want you to wear if i choose you.

 ::) ::) ::)


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: denise96 on 22 October 2018, 12:59:55 pm
him: hi, whats your postcode?
me: i'm in X place
him: do you have a dildo. i like to come today?
me: yes i have a dildo but i will use it only on you.
him: noo i don't like that .....

:)))))
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PissedOffPrincess on 22 October 2018, 08:40:24 pm
I know we have all had this one but still amusing


Him: Can we go out for dinner?

Me : Yes love I love dinner dates I will do you a special rte

Him : But im buying you dinner do I have to pay you for buying you dinner? We wont be doing anything I only want to buy you dinner no sex nothing only dinner. I will pay for your dinner too.  :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 22 October 2018, 10:58:38 pm
Quote from: PissedOffPrincess on 22 October 2018, 08:40:24 pm
I know we have all had this one but still amusing


Him: Can we go out for dinner?

Me : Yes love I love dinner dates I will do you a special rte

Him : But im buying you dinner do I have to pay you for buying you dinner? We wont be doing anything I only want to buy you dinner no sex nothing only dinner. I will pay for your dinner too.  :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF


What a dick.

Your paying for my time mate. I have survived feeding myself so far so.
You want to enjoy the pleasure of a hot girl by your side in public but don't want to pay. Time is Money.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: AnimalLover on 23 October 2018, 01:00:46 pm
Received this charming email today (I do not offer anal or bareback):

Dear,

I am a tourist and will be here for a few days. I am fine with either an incall or outcall session for 1 hour depending on your availability preferably in the evening. My dates are flexible for the next few days.

I assure you I am clean, STD free and have a recent full panel STD test report.

Below is my request its a bit explicit and honest,

1. I would like you to get a full panel STD test including RNA HIV test at the nearest testing facility while I accompany you, I would be paying for the test.
2. Condoms wont be used whatsoever all of the activities we engage in would be bareback.
3. I would be cumming inside you i.e. your vagina so I hope you are on birth control if not I could buy you the morning after pill.
4.Anal is expected as well if you are against it I request you to atleast try it with me.
5.I will be cumming atleast 2 times in 1 hour.
6.I would prefer you to swallow CIM.

I hope you have read the email in its entirety, I tried to be as clear as I could to save time and confusion.

If you are fine with the above request let me know your availability to forward the booking.

Have a nice day.

Yours truly,

Manish
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 23 October 2018, 02:52:24 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 23 October 2018, 03:27:07 pm
I'm not precious about my prices, but even I was a little offended to be offered 20 quid for a quickie today...  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jasmine89 on 23 October 2018, 03:51:44 pm
Quote from: Animalandearthlover on 23 October 2018, 01:00:46 pm
Received this charming email today (I do not offer anal or bareback):

Dear,

I am a tourist and will be here for a few days. I am fine with either an incall or outcall session for 1 hour depending on your availability preferably in the evening. My dates are flexible for the next few days.

I assure you I am clean, STD free and have a recent full panel STD test report.

Below is my request its a bit explicit and honest,

1. I would like you to get a full panel STD test including RNA HIV test at the nearest testing facility while I accompany you, I would be paying for the test.
2. Condoms wont be used whatsoever all of the activities we engage in would be bareback.
3. I would be cumming inside you i.e. your vagina so I hope you are on birth control if not I could buy you the morning after pill.
4.Anal is expected as well if you are against it I request you to atleast try it with me.
5.I will be cumming atleast 2 times in 1 hour.
6.I would prefer you to swallow CIM.

I hope you have read the email in its entirety, I tried to be as clear as I could to save time and confusion.

If you are fine with the above request let me know your availability to forward the booking.

Have a nice day.

Yours truly,

Manish

I got the exact same email today. Instant block for this delusional idiot
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 23 October 2018, 05:34:06 pm
Received this spam email, have a feeling may have seen s/thing like this on Saafe before...

I am a tourist and will be here for a few days. I am fine with either an incall or outcall session for 1 hour depending on your availability preferably in the evening. My dates are flexible for the next few days.

I assure you I am clean, STD free and have a recent full panel STD test report.

Below is my request its a bit explicit and honest,

1. I would like you to get a full panel STD test including RNA HIV test at the nearest testing facility while I accompany you, I would be paying for the test.
2. Condoms wont be used whatsoever all of the activities we engage in would be bareback.
3. I would be cumming inside you i.e. your vagina so I hope you are on birth control if not I could buy you the morning after pill.
4.Anal is expected as well if you are against it I request you to atleast try it with me.
5.I will be cumming atleast 2 times in 1 hour.
6.I would prefer you to swallow CIM.

I hope you have read the email in its entirety, I tried to be as clear as I could to save time and confusion.

If you are fine with the above request let me know your availability to forward the booking.

Have a nice day.

Yours truly,

M*****

EDIT: sorry for the repitition, havent’ been on Saafe for a while, what a fucking idiot. Obviously spamming everyone.  I don’t offer BB, or Anal, or CIM

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 23 October 2018, 09:12:41 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 23 October 2018, 05:34:06 pm
I am a tourist and will be here for a few days [...]

I've just had it too! :D

*feels included*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sammy s on 23 October 2018, 09:25:56 pm
I’ve also just had it too. What a weirdo!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: V24 on 24 October 2018, 02:27:21 pm
Quote from: Animalandearthlover on 23 October 2018, 01:00:46 pm
Received this charming email today (I do not offer anal or bareback):

Dear,

I am a tourist and will be here for a few days. I am fine with either an incall or outcall session for 1 hour depending on your availability preferably in the evening. My dates are flexible for the next few days.

I assure you I am clean, STD free and have a recent full panel STD test report.

Below is my request its a bit explicit and honest,

1. I would like you to get a full panel STD test including RNA HIV test at the nearest testing facility while I accompany you, I would be paying for the test.
2. Condoms wont be used whatsoever all of the activities we engage in would be bareback.
3. I would be cumming inside you i.e. your vagina so I hope you are on birth control if not I could buy you the morning after pill.
4.Anal is expected as well if you are against it I request you to atleast try it with me.
5.I will be cumming atleast 2 times in 1 hour.
6.I would prefer you to swallow CIM.

I hope you have read the email in its entirety, I tried to be as clear as I could to save time and confusion.

If you are fine with the above request let me know your availability to forward the booking.

Have a nice day.

Yours truly,

Manish

Haha I got it too.  I asked him to clarify which planet he was actually visiting us from!  What a numpty!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sammy s on 24 October 2018, 03:22:40 pm
I bet he sends it to thousands of girls hoping one will eventually say yes. He’s still got zero feedback though so he’s clearly not having much luck haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jessica25 on 24 October 2018, 03:31:12 pm
Quote from: sammy s on 24 October 2018, 03:22:40 pm
I bet he sends it to thousands of girls hoping one will eventually say yes. He’s still got zero feedback though so he’s clearly not having much luck haha

I got mine TWICE this morning! I doubt he will have luck, he sounds like a complete control freak aswell!
4.Anal is expected as well if you are against it I request you to atleast try it with me.
This doesnt sit comfortably with me anyway! He wants to do something your not happy with!

Hes definately just a fool sending it to everyone! I felt to reply something along the lines of

'you forgot to add the part where your cock is gangrene and about to fall off from all the bareback you are doing'

But then thought twice as i have no energy for a bitching war with a complete and utter waste!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 24 October 2018, 04:51:08 pm
Wants the booking for this weekend. Gave him details for doing a deposit, comes back with I can't do it as I'm not getting paid until next Wednesday, sorry to waste your time. I replied with 'how on earth did you expect to pay for the booking then if you have no money???' FFS. Seriously I wish I could quit this job at present what with the sheer amount of dickheads that waste my time. I'm so tired of it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 24 October 2018, 09:41:32 pm
Quote from: Jessica25 on 24 October 2018, 03:31:12 pm
I got mine TWICE this morning! I doubt he will have luck, he sounds like a complete control freak aswell!
4.Anal is expected as well if you are against it I request you to atleast try it with me.
This doesnt sit comfortably with me anyway! He wants to do something your not happy with!

Hes definately just a fool sending it to everyone! I felt to reply something along the lines of

'you forgot to add the part where your cock is gangrene and about to fall off from all the bareback you are doing'

But then thought twice as i have no energy for a bitching war with a complete and utter waste!


He’s messaged me the same and about 6 other girls I know too hahahahah
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 24 October 2018, 10:52:23 pm
Subject:    Please

Hi you ok I feel really weak and pathetic and intimidated by strong women I want to be used by somone better than me and abused il do anything I'm told and can do anything you want with me I just feel like I should be taken advantage of, looking for somone who takes the piss that I can see regularly can give all my money every week pay bills clean up basically anything I'm told thank you I can beg I know your better than me xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 24 October 2018, 11:35:19 pm
Some numpty wanting 15 mins Which I am happy to do as I like doing 15 mins
He then reply that’s fine but I won’t be rushed will I      F...,Idiot .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 25 October 2018, 07:28:26 am
Quote from: CurlsnCurves on 24 October 2018, 04:51:08 pm
Wants the booking for this weekend. Gave him details for doing a deposit, comes back with I can't do it as I'm not getting paid until next Wednesday, sorry to waste your time. I replied with 'how on earth did you expect to pay for the booking then if you have no money???' FFS. Seriously I wish I could quit this job at present what with the sheer amount of dickheads that waste my time. I'm so tired of it.

I think whatever job you're in and you offer services that are considered a luxury you're going to get tw's. I have two hairdressing friends who also do beauty and they remark on all the timewasters they get.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 25 October 2018, 09:12:03 am
Quote from: Gypsy on 25 October 2018, 07:28:26 am
I think whatever job you're in and you offer services that are considered a luxury you're going to get tw's. I have two hairdressing friends who also do beauty and they remark on all the timewasters they get.


Spot on ! I'm a admin on both my sister's and my brother's FB pages , one is a beautician and the other a domestic electrician . And I see the number of cancellations/ rescheduling they get (through messenger) for mostly feeble reasons ( in my opinion ) .
We've all read about the huge number of NHS / doctor's appointments wasted .... and I'm sure it's the same for estate agents , banking advisors and such like .
I think that as we deal with the general public , we've got to brace yourself for a number a flakey ones however frustrating it seems at time . 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 25 October 2018, 05:47:11 pm
I had this thing arrive in my email.

I am looking for a 1 hour pornstar experience particularly three things cim ( swallow ) along with deep french kissing, bareback vaginal creampie and bareback anal creampie.

I have a recent STD report, you need to get tested while I accompany you at the testing facility. If interested I would like to forward the booking depending on your availability.

Could pay you higher price

Lets meet tomorrow at your convenient time get you tested opt for same day results and have our session dayafter tomorrow

Yes I replied letting know exactly what I thought about him and his nasty diseased cock.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 25 October 2018, 07:44:45 pm
Quote from: someonesomewhere on 25 October 2018, 05:47:11 pm
I had this thing arrive in my email.

I am looking for a 1 hour pornstar experience particularly three things cim ( swallow ) along with deep french kissing, bareback vaginal creampie and bareback anal creampie.

I have a recent STD report, you need to get tested while I accompany you at the testing facility. If interested I would like to forward the booking depending on your availability.

Could pay you higher price

Lets meet tomorrow at your convenient time get you tested opt for same day results and have our session dayafter tomorrow

Yes I replied letting know exactly what I thought about him and his nasty diseased cock.

I had this too, funnily enough my first thought was THREE things? I nearly replied commenting on his appalling maths but I didn't think it was really worth it... ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RKitten on 25 October 2018, 10:56:01 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 23 October 2018, 05:34:06 pm
Received this spam email, have a feeling may have seen s/thing like this on Saafe before...

I am a tourist and will be here for a few days. I am fine with either an incall or outcall session for 1 hour depending on your availability preferably in the evening. My dates are flexible for the next few days.

I assure you I am clean, STD free and have a recent full panel STD test report.

Below is my request its a bit explicit and honest,

1. I would like you to get a full panel STD test including RNA HIV test at the nearest testing facility while I accompany you, I would be paying for the test.
2. Condoms wont be used whatsoever all of the activities we engage in would be bareback.
3. I would be cumming inside you i.e. your vagina so I hope you are on birth control if not I could buy you the morning after pill.
4.Anal is expected as well if you are against it I request you to atleast try it with me.
5.I will be cumming atleast 2 times in 1 hour.
6.I would prefer you to swallow CIM.

I hope you have read the email in its entirety, I tried to be as clear as I could to save time and confusion.

If you are fine with the above request let me know your availability to forward the booking.

Have a nice day.

Yours truly,

M*****

EDIT: sorry for the repitition, havent’ been on Saafe for a while, what a fucking idiot. Obviously spamming everyone.  I don’t offer BB, or Anal, or CIM

Awww, I never got one, feel left out *lol*

The idea however that a recent STD test means you're clean is bollocks, it just tells you that 4 to 6 weeks ago you were clean. Some men are idiots.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DarcyLady on 28 October 2018, 01:43:11 pm
Excellent one just now -

'Hi there, I'm an American and am over here for work. Money is no object to me, but are you running any deals at the moment?'

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 29 October 2018, 09:48:57 am
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 30 October 2018, 12:47:09 pm
These guys place such importance on booking for a Sex encounter. I've had someone chew my ear off for a quickie  and still didn't visit.!!
The excuses they make for not visiting are extreme.
Can meet you because your amazing and beautiful and blah blah.
Can't meet you mothers broken leg blah blah  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 30 October 2018, 05:50:18 pm
You sound nice. I'm in the area for the next hour if you decide to do an incall. Honestly, I'm a decent, honest bloke. I will be in and out before you know it. You won't even remember I've been there.

Please babe. Consider it.

Babe. I'm out of the area in the next 20 minutes, I'm quick but not that quick haha. What can I do to persuade you?

Ok, what if I try tomorrow and in the meantime, we can chat and get to know each other.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 30 October 2018, 10:09:50 pm
Twat - can you do 15 Mins

Me - yes if you come now

Twat are you busy then because I don’t want to be rushed  :FF :FF

Me - I think you seriously misunderstand exactly what a 15 min quickie is

TWat  I just don’t want to be rushed

Me  oh fuck off - blocked

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 30 October 2018, 11:25:20 pm
After 4 texts today from the same number

"hey"

"hun?"

"you there?"

"not talkin?"

all a couple of minutes apart, none of which got a reply from me

I then get "whats WRONG with you?"

( he gave up after that, I do miss him  ;D )

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 30 October 2018, 11:43:52 pm
Since 24/02/17 to now

Can you punish me
I have misbehaved a bit
What book are you reading?
Please ride me hard
nothing but the cane please
hi
hello
I want you
Omg I have never seen tits like your before



 ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 31 October 2018, 10:58:43 am
40 min chat all ok to book me then says have I got piercings or tattooed .
Didn't then want to visit me as I had large tattoes that I don't display
Would have come otherwise  ..hmm doubt it
Wanted a bush apparently these are back in fashion according to him and waxing is not .
Like I'm going to grow it fast in time for that idiot or anyone else  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 31 October 2018, 01:57:04 pm
Twat - How much
Me - How long?
Twat - 30 minutes
Me £100
Twat - My bid is £75
Me - It's not ebay. Go annoy someone within your budget.
Twat - Ok £80
10 minutes later Twat - Ok 85
20 minutes later twat - Ok 100. Text me your address


Next one rings. Hello. Hi. This goes on for a few seconds us both saying hi. I hung up. He rung again and the same thing. Several minutes later he texts - you not going to contact me then?
My reply - Nope. It's customary for the person who wants to make contact, do the actual making contact.
twat - oh, ok. Where are you?
Me - Earth
Twat - ???
twat -serious what's your address?
Me - Why?
twat - So I can pass by and see you
Me - I don't know you. I don't give my address to random people.
twat - I'm trying to book some time with you
Me - Such as shame you didn't bother to read my profile. So no thanks
Twat - But but, but
Me - if you had bothered to read you would have found this simple self-explanatory word - outcall. 

 :FF :FF

I wasn't even taking bookings for today. Sitting in a waiting room for a routine appointment that of course was delayed, and these fools were keeping me entertained lol



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 31 October 2018, 07:19:57 pm
Text asking my price for an hour, I referred him back to my profile and asked him to call.

Him: I don’t know who’s paying who (laughing emoji)
Me: excuse me?
Him: am paying the money so when am asking you should answer the question. There are lots younger and fit more than you. I won’t even pay a penny on you. You got blocked (laughing emoji).


Oh how upset I am that an entitled wanker has blocked me :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 31 October 2018, 09:24:08 pm
Quote from: geordie on 31 October 2018, 07:19:57 pm
Him: am paying the money so when am asking you should answer the question. There are lots younger and fit more than you. I won’t even pay a penny on you. You got blocked (laughing emoji).


Oh how upset I am that an entitled wanker has blocked me :(

Yup, so would I be.  You really lost out there (especially since Mr X clearly paid you whichever of your rates BEFORE making any contact with you, thus earning himself him the right to your time, as you say...)  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PissedOffPrincess on 01 November 2018, 08:46:39 am
Send me pussy and face photo I might want to meet you

so many want face photos

I really would make a fortune if I sent them face photos they would all book no one would post my face to any website or show it to his mates I really should trust these gentlemen and be respectful of their concerns I may be too ugly to fuck

I really do need to learn manners I am clearly a terrible person :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarastar1 on 01 November 2018, 01:01:27 pm
NOTE....I have paid for AT today and my availibility is all over my profile

BLOKE: Hey are you working today?

An hour later

BLOKE: ??

ME:Call to arrange a booking please

BLOKE:sorry but I’m working and can only text how much is a blowjob.. if okay I will call you in a while

ME: All prices on the profile x

BLOKE:what’s your profile sorry


 :FF  :FF  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 01 November 2018, 01:35:25 pm
Quote from: PissedOffPrincess on 01 November 2018, 08:46:39 am

I really would make a fortune if I sent them face photos they would all book no one would post my face to any website or show it to his mates I really should trust these gentlemen and be respectful of their concerns I may be too ugly to fuck

I really do need to learn manners I am clearly a terrible person :FF
Ya ha ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 01 November 2018, 05:12:26 pm
Weird sounding guy  on the phone asked to visit 10pm tonight I would be asleep by then .
He kept asking for later even after me telling him I finish at 9 pm
Just text me *send u postcode to see how u look!!!! *
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pussywillow on 02 November 2018, 09:30:39 am
I was at my "civvy job" yesterday - I still try and keep my phone on to take bookings for after work etc. Anyway I had a guy call me - he wanted to see me ASAP. I explained I was at my "civvy job" but I was taking bookings for after work. He suggested he come to my workplace, park up in their car park and I nip out and see him for half hour in his car - :o He was serious too
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 02 November 2018, 09:52:50 am
Subject: Milf
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Blow  and  go  cum on  face  what  time  love



Hands off ladies, he's all mine!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BBW_Karina on 03 November 2018, 09:46:24 am
 ;D so entertaining lol
Better than tv 😂😂😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sarastar1 on 03 November 2018, 11:56:16 am
This guy has messaged before from different numbers

Would be curious if other ladies have heard from him!

‘Dear XXX

I hope you are well. I am a British Asian Male aged 23 currently studying for a masters degree having graduated in law and economics.

Although well educated I am very inexperienced when it comes to sexual endeavours. Growing up I was raised with the idea of ‘sex after marriage’ which I stuck to.

However I believe I have reached the point where I can no longer wait and my cravings are getting the better of me.

Whilst inexperienced and nervous I have set in seeing a curvy Escort as being my first experience. I would be delighted if you would let me know if you are happy to see me?

Regards. 



I replied asking him to call. Guess what he hasn’t!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sammy s on 06 November 2018, 08:44:23 am
Hello
I’ve seen your profile and would love to get to know more about you and who you are as a person.
What are your hopes and dreams?
Looking forward to finding out who the ‘real’ you is and hopefully making a deeper connection
Xxx

FUCK OFF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TandPJS on 06 November 2018, 11:57:20 am
just back to work and I've had some real stinkers, ignore them mostly but the i got:

hello!


(I don't reply, then 2 hours later)

how?

me: .....did the dinosaurs die?

him: not yet
 ??? ??? ???

then just as i'm running out of patience after 2 stand-ups i get a flurry of questions from one bloke followed by
"what will you wear to meet me"   as soon as this come up i know it's a joker

me: "as you want"

him: "make me a suggestion"

me "like your grandma"

him "are you starting?" (that kind of anger they get when they loose their stiffy)

me: "on you and every other idiot who thinks we're a free sexchat"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 07 November 2018, 11:10:35 am
Quote from: sammy s on 06 November 2018, 08:44:23 am
Hello
I’ve seen your profile and would love to get to know more about you and who you are as a person.
What are your hopes and dreams?
Looking forward to finding out who the ‘real’ you is and hopefully making a deeper connection
Xxx

FUCK OFF
That's one of the irritating ones pity  pests  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 07 November 2018, 11:29:44 am
Hello im young man ;) 25 years old i know thats gonna sounds rude but maybe you want go for dinner with younger man and after rter have some fun ?
Oh I didn't realise Aw is now a dating site!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 07 November 2018, 10:24:44 pm
Subject: escort
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi
Have you done pee fart and poo for anyone or before
I just wanted to watch you do it, not even sex or doing any dirty thing
Thanks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Librarylady on 08 November 2018, 11:11:49 am
I had someone emailing me not long ago asking for bareback and saying we would get tested together for it. I told him I don't do it and I'm not going to spend my free time going to a clinic with him (his email grated on me, so I had to engage). He said something about being married so OF COURSE he had to be safe and he wouldn't do it until I was comfortable despite my already telling him NO BAREBACK!! I explained briefly how falible the testing is and that I would never, ever do it and then he tells me he can't get/give me HIV or STD's because he's been circumsiced and I am more likely to catch something from OWO.

I found this hilarious so asked him for the evidence, he told me to google it... then I sent him the link from the NHS website that disproves his 'claim'  ;D

A few hours later he sent the same initial message I got to another escort friend of mine. She told him that rather than reply, he could just accept my reply as hers, seeing as he was so kind as to copy and paste her the exact same message. hehe
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BBW_Karina on 08 November 2018, 11:20:27 am
Just now - I am in the abbey wood area could you come pick me up by car i pay you diesel,petrol money - do I really look like I’m an Uber driver 🙄
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 09 November 2018, 02:04:03 pm

Hey babe I like what I see and would love to see you.. I would love play out this dirty neighbor fantasy where we have a total stranger encounter. I walk in on you you asleep naked. I surprise you either with by my tongue deep in your pussy or giving you my cock to suck. You continue to pretend to be asleep and see it’s a dream and do know it’s your neighbor but don’t want me to stop. To make it thrilling if you be blindfolded so we don’t see each other during the encounter. Once I have arrived and confirmed then you could leave the door a jar for me to walk in and please leave a few undies or bra on floor for me to pick up and trace you to the room you would be in. One gentle request if possible then I love anal and do know how to handle it with care. I do lots of lubrication and lots of foreplay before any penetration and if at any time you stop I stop right away as I am not animal or rough with anal handling at all xxx also I am clean shaved all over and do enjoy rimming as well. One last thing I love spilling wine on pussy and then sipping it off :) hmmm rose if you don’t mind can’t wait to be with you xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 09 November 2018, 02:57:41 pm
Does anyone else find it really grating when clients will try to circumvent your booking process or security measures? Had a guy emailing saying he can't call because he has a company phone, but that he can book via email. I explained that won't work as I need to see a visible number, and would require a phone call on arrival at the postcode. He said that he respects that but 'Nonetheless I have arranged by email previously with no issues.' Sorry but do I give a fuck? As if I would make an exception to my own safety measures for some rando, just because that's how he's done it with other people? And what's so hard about getting a burner phone and separate SIM like every other client does?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 09 November 2018, 03:10:19 pm
I think I've mentioned it here before, but I took an early morning booking for the next day by email from a punter who was flying over that night from another country and said he couldn't easily call. I said that was fine, but he'd need to call me to confirm he was on his way so I knew to be up and ready - he said he couldn't do this either so I assumed it was because it would be some ridiculous time of night and said it would be OK to send me a quick text to confirm when he got out of the airport and then just call me from the tube station for hotel details and final directions.

It turned out he was refusing to call or even text me at all because he 'liked to be discreet' and didn't want me to have his number - in other words he thought I would email not only my hotel name but my actual room number to some random twat with whom I'd never even spoken. I was so baffled when I read it I couldn't believe it wasn't a wind up, to be honest.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 09 November 2018, 03:13:45 pm
Quote from: amy on 09 November 2018, 03:10:19 pm
I think I've mentioned it here before, but I took an early morning booking for the next day by email from a punter who was flying over that night from another country and said he couldn't easily call. I said that was fine, but he'd need to call me to confirm he was on his way so I knew to be up and ready - he said he couldn't do this either so I assumed it was because it would be some ridiculous time of night and said it would be OK to send me a quick text to confirm when he got out of the airport and then just call me from the tube station for hotel details and final directions.

It turned out he was refusing to call or even text me at all because he 'liked to be discreet' and didn't want me to have his number - in other words he thought I would email not only my hotel name but my actual room number to some random twat with whom I'd never even spoken. I was so baffled when I read it I couldn't believe it wasn't a wind up, to be honest.
I'm the same, happy to arrange by email but I need a call for actual confirmation. This guy just kept insisting 'I cannot call', so clearly thought I'd be fine sending my full address details out by email!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 09 November 2018, 05:23:10 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 09 November 2018, 02:57:41 pm
Does anyone else find it really grating when clients will try to circumvent your booking process or security measures? Had a guy emailing saying he can't call because he has a company phone, but that he can book via email. I explained that won't work as I need to see a visible number, and would require a phone call on arrival at the postcode. He said that he respects that but 'Nonetheless I have arranged by email previously with no issues.' Sorry but do I give a fuck? As if I would make an exception to my own safety measures for some rando, just because that's how he's done it with other people? And what's so hard about getting a burner phone and separate SIM like every other client does?

I have to patience for these self entitled bell ends and would have blocked him straight away lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 09 November 2018, 05:25:23 pm
Quote from: BBW_Karina on 08 November 2018, 11:20:27 am
Just now - I am in the abbey wood area could you come pick me up by car i pay you diesel,petrol money - do I really look like I’m an Uber driver 🙄

I once had an idiot, turned out to be a TW. I was in a rural location near  Stratford upon Avon and this guy asked if I was coming into Stratford. Why?

So I could give him a lift to my incall!!! The cheek of it. I didn't even have a car at that time anyway...

Unsurprisingly he got blocked
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 11 November 2018, 01:00:30 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 07 November 2018, 10:24:44 pm
Subject: escort
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi
Have you done pee fart and poo for anyone or before
I just wanted to watch you do it, not even sex or doing any dirty thing
Thanks

I've had this a couple of times. He's got plenty of good feedback, fuck know's how! First time I explained that 'pee fart and poo' wasn't an actual thing and that I couldn't fart or poo to order. Second time I just told him to pee,fart and poo off!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 11 November 2018, 01:07:55 pm
Him "Hi Marianne my names David how are you?"
(Good start I know!)
Me "I'm fine thanks David, how are you?!"
Him"Yeh good hun thanks for replying. I was wondering if you are interested in being exclusive to someone?"
Me "I don't understand what you mean hun"
Him "I'm looking for a married woman to be my new girlfriend/sex partner who I can spoil and have a lot of fun with"
Me " A) I'm not married and B) Are you planning on paying my £2000 a month income to cover my mortgage and bills. As I'm assuming these things have not entered your head I'm guessing not. Bye David"
Him "Hold on hun it says your a blonde housewife? An yes I will cover your earnings and bills as I'm a wealthy guy and wouldn't be asking you otherwise"
Me "I've literally just gone and changed that wording. It's a turn of phrase David. I'm not married. Nor do I want a boyfriend or sugar daddy or to be dependent on anyone thanks. I like to earn my own money with who I want when I want so no thanks, I'm not the woman for you"

Anyone think I missed out ?! ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendall on 12 November 2018, 09:34:27 am
Sent at 3am

Hello can you do 7 Days booking in London if you are available please get in touch I am prepared to give you 5 million pounds which is a life-changing amount of money and this is a genuine request please get in touch thank you  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 12 November 2018, 09:50:24 am
Quote from: Kdub on 12 November 2018, 09:34:27 am
Sent at 3am

Hello can you do 7 Days booking in London if you are available please get in touch I am prepared to give you 5 million pounds which is a life-changing amount of money and this is a genuine request please get in touch thank you  ;D

Sounds like he nicked that from the back of one of those dreadful BDSM / 'romance' novels! I'm sure he's genuine though... ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 13 November 2018, 01:33:26 am
Started off fine.
However, he turned into a chip wearing goady fucker who tried to make out that
As a hooker, I don't have a clue where East Africa is
As a hooker, I think that Jamaica is in Africa
As a hooker, I don't know the cultural differences between Jamaica and Africa because black is black
As a hooker, although I claim to see black guys, this is a lie and I look for any reason to deny a booking to a black guy.
As a hooker I have a terrible memory and we didn't have the same chat a week earlier.
He thinks he is clever because he has more than one number. Hence I answered the fools calls more than once.

If you get the displeasure of his calls, it's fun to listen to him having a meltdown because you aren't the thick, racist hooker he thinks you are.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 13 November 2018, 01:52:17 am
Quote from: Kdub on 12 November 2018, 09:34:27 am
Sent at 3am

Hello can you do 7 Days booking in London if you are available please get in touch I am prepared to give you 5 million pounds which is a life-changing amount of money and this is a genuine request please get in touch thank you  ;D


Actually laughed out loud hahahahah
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English natural beauty on 13 November 2018, 03:03:32 am
Quote from: someonesomewhere on 13 November 2018, 01:33:26 am
Started off fine.
However, he turned into a chip wearing goady fucker who tried to make out that
As a hooker, I don't have a clue where East Africa is
As a hooker, I think that Jamaica is in Africa
As a hooker, I don't know the cultural differences between Jamaica and Africa because black is black
As a hooker, although I claim to see black guys, this is a lie and I look for any reason to deny a booking to a black guy.
As a hooker I have a terrible memory and we didn't have the same chat a week earlier.
He thinks he is clever because he has more than one number. Hence I answered the fools calls more than once.

If you get the displeasure of his calls, it's fun to listen to him having a meltdown because you aren't the thick, racist hooker he thinks you are.

I’ve had plenty of his calls. And messages. He’s also extremely racially Abusive to me as a white woman when I make it clear that I don’t do any racist play at all. He made me feel extremely uncomfortable. He also likes going on about the size of his cock. And it going in my ass. As well as contacting on other numbers asking ridiculous stuff and being unable to talk to me like I am a normal human being. He has around four number that I have  all of. Happy to share them x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Latty on 13 November 2018, 03:08:24 am
I bid on someone's rb telling him to text if interested and he insists on calling me annoying cos I'm shy and deaf as fuck but whatever and it's "are you a naughty girl" me "er I guess, I don't know what you're into" then he asks for bareback which I tell him no I don't do that then he's like oh that's fine can we do anal? We can do that bare right? Ffs what is wrong with some people :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 13 November 2018, 07:38:39 am
Some guys get my name wrong on AW.  It has two names.  The second name is clearly intended to be a pretend surname but occasionally a guy will call me by that instead of my first name.  I have no idea why some struggle with it.

It doesn't get the email arrangements off to a very flying start!

Also I always find foot fetish requests sound gross.  I don't cater for these and have no clue why I get asked.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 13 November 2018, 11:20:52 am
I don't mind foot fetish although I don't get asked much. I had a nice one recently where I let him wank over my feet, done in less than 10 mins, easy for me, I'd do more given the chance!

I did have a belter to share for this thread though...

It was an automated text I deleted that said something like

'You have a request from this number xxxxxxxxxxx to call them back as they have no credit'

Really! I laughed for ages. I won't state the obvious!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 13 November 2018, 11:52:40 am
Haha yes, the automated call back number. I actually text the fool back
Mate if you cannot afford to top up your phone to call me to make arrangements, then you clearly cannot afford my fee. I suggest you sort out your cash flow issue and once you have enough money for your mobile and my fee you get in touch.

Still waiting a few months later.


Foot fetishes I also don't mind. Seems I have attractive feet and get a lot of requests lol. These guys rarely want anything else apart from my feet. One guy constantly buys me nail varnish and asks that I wear a particular colour during our meet. Another guy insists I show up without polish and he loves massaging my feet and giving me a pedicure. Give them a bit of a rub and everyone is happy. The fetish guys also insist on booking for an hour, we sit and chat whilst they admire my feet.


Oh forgot about the arrogant chip on the shoulder and the chat about the size of his cock. That was a part of the first chat and from there he quickly escalated into the arsehole he is. It's such a weird thing to get off to.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 14 November 2018, 10:24:27 pm
Hi there,
I am new to the area and i am looking for an eacoet to fulfil my fetish. I am looking for rwgular mwets through the year.
I am looking for someone who is ok with me fisting their pussy.
I have done this before and you will probably think it isnt even possible. All women can do it. I would be very gentle and take it at your own pace. And if it gets too much i would stop immediately.
I hope you will be up for atleast having a go at it.
I look forward to your reply and meeting you in person.


I don't know what irritates me more - the spelling, asking for something I don't offer, his incorrect comment of "all woman can do it." or the audacity to tell me what I think!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 14 November 2018, 11:51:57 pm
Message through AW. Starts off great. Asks them to make a booking through AW, cannot as don't want to list a phone number. All I have to go from is an AW account with unsurprisingly zero feedback, even though it's not a new account. If I change my mind, the person will be waiting in a certain location at a certain time.
Not going to happen.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kendall on 15 November 2018, 02:48:13 pm
Email I got from a £10 an hour male escort


Hi ladies. I am at a wedding in ibiza in march. Would you like to be my plus1?

Would like to meet you a few times before we go but i will not be paying for that. As its 2 adults meeting up to see if we get on and bond.

Rules for the holiday are..

Always stay with me and not wonder off for an hour etc

No drinking or 1 or 2 and that is it.

Unlimited sex

Stay respectfull and act lovingly towards me so ppl believe its genuine.

I have ladies offering to do the job for free. So i pay the holiday and expences thats it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 15 November 2018, 03:07:02 pm
I got the Ibiza one too. He's deleted his profile now. I told him good luck on finding someone to work for free, I definitely wouldn't be
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 15 November 2018, 03:11:02 pm
I heard from this guy, not Ibiza but looking for 'fun' but then deactivated his profile so he's maybe made another one.

He's got so many offering to do it for free yeh right that's why he's busy spamming every escort in sight. And not only wanting freebies but acting like an entitled demanding twat.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 17 November 2018, 02:26:35 am
I currently have 2 I am chatting to via text

One he's booking me for later, and in the meantime sent me this message
i guess i’ll be looking at your pics and imagining what i want to do to you until the morning then!

Yes I told him that was creepy as fuck.

The second with his 14in cock that I am ribbing. He's also sent pictures and clearly photoshopped haha. If I was on my phone it wouldn't as been as obvious lol. He's taking the ribbing from me really well I must admit,.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LotusFlower on 17 November 2018, 03:00:39 am
Quote from: Kdub on 15 November 2018, 02:48:13 pm
Email I got from a £10 an hour male escort


Hi ladies. I am at a wedding in ibiza in march. Would you like to be my plus1?

Would like to meet you a few times before we go but i will not be paying for that. As its 2 adults meeting up to see if we get on and bond.

Rules for the holiday are..

Always stay with me and not wonder off for an hour etc

No drinking or 1 or 2 and that is it.

Unlimited sex

Stay respectfull and act lovingly towards me so ppl believe its genuine.

I have ladies offering to do the job for free. So i pay the holiday and expences thats it.

Oh please please please take me!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LotusFlower on 17 November 2018, 03:12:33 am
I had a guy recently contact me, and all initial contact was respectful and to the point and at regular day time.

Then I got a text at 4am "I have a HUGE 14" cock and my wife won't go near me. She won't even touch me let alone allow me to gag her with it. So I want to fuck you senseless"

Blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 18 November 2018, 10:01:49 am
Quote from: Veggiegal on 17 November 2018, 03:12:33 am
I had a guy recently contact me, and all initial contact was respectful and to the point and at regular day time.

Then I got a text at 4am "I have a HUGE 14" cock and my wife won't go near me. She won't even touch me let alone allow me to gag her with it. So I want to fuck you senseless"

Blocked.

Oh you were supposed to be very greatful according to him!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 19 November 2018, 07:28:06 pm
Subject:    Hey!

I know this is a little random but hear me out! Have you ever thought about doing a swap of services? I'm a personal trainer based in ** and would gladly coach you as much as you wanted in exchange for an hour of your time each week! Let me know if you think is would benefit you :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 21 November 2018, 12:22:13 am
Quote from: Hannaah on 14 November 2018, 10:24:27 pm
Hi there,
I am new to the area and i am looking for an eacoet to fulfil my fetish. I am looking for rwgular mwets through the year.
I am looking for someone who is ok with me fisting their pussy.
I have done this before and you will probably think it isnt even possible. All women can do it. I would be very gentle and take it at your own pace. And if it gets too much i would stop immediately.
I hope you will be up for atleast having a go at it.
I look forward to your reply and meeting you in person.


I don't know what irritates me more - the spelling, asking for something I don't offer, his incorrect comment of "all woman can do it." or the audacity to tell me what I think!


Send him my way, it's what I do best. And no way can all women take it, what is he thinking???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 26 November 2018, 11:38:02 am
"Do you offer OWO cim at all? I'm based in newtown and would have to travel. By train, how much would it be"

My summary line states "OWO and CIM included"
Throughout my profile it's mentioned at least 3 times.
Both are checked on my Likes list.

But he wonders if I offer it.

Also how the fuck should I know how much your train ticket would be, do I look like fucking Trainline? What a bellend.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 26 November 2018, 11:58:04 am
Email on AW at the weekend, from a man with apparent good feedback (17 of them) but his one sentence request/question put me right off him at the start.

you near the city centre? easy to get to? when you free?

His caps key must have been stuck, god knows what with.  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mlmcardiff on 26 November 2018, 03:19:41 pm
Booked, then came the pestering emails, the final straw being “Would you send me a nude pic to prove you are not really a man? It’s important to me.”

Where to even start.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvymamma on 29 November 2018, 08:14:11 am
"Can you do 15 minutes so I can trial You?"

My response "No! I'm not a car!!"

Idiot!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sammy s on 29 November 2018, 10:53:46 am
   
Hey there !

I was wondering if you might be able to fit me in today for a very naughty 2 hour incall booking ? I've just been looking through your pictures and your profile and it has certainly caught my eye in a big way ! I hope you dont mind me asking this but i have a rather naughty fantasy im looking at fulfilling and wonder if you might be able to help me on this ? I know this is very very naughty but would i be able to have bare cock all sticky and wet with your lovely pussy juices without me wearing a condom ? I know this isnt normally the done thing but i'd love to do this with you and i leave it completely at your discretion how we can do it together
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 29 November 2018, 06:30:34 pm
Quote from: sammy s on 29 November 2018, 10:53:46 am
   
Hey there !

I was wondering if you might be able to fit me in today for a very naughty 2 hour incall booking ? I've just been looking through your pictures and your profile and it has certainly caught my eye in a big way ! I hope you dont mind me asking this but i have a rather naughty fantasy im looking at fulfilling and wonder if you might be able to help me on this ? I know this is very very naughty but would i be able to have bare cock all sticky and wet with your lovely pussy juices without me wearing a condom ? I know this isnt normally the done thing but i'd love to do this with you and i leave it completely at your discretion how we can do it together

Pretty sure I've had this idiot before. Ended up blocking him as he sent me about 20 texts through the night about how "naughty" he was feeling 🙄
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 30 November 2018, 01:32:42 pm
Who knows what this creep was after! I don’t usually respond to texts full stop but was bored in my hotel room on tour!

Him - hi babes do you sniff xxx

Him - or drink

Me - yes I sniff it’s called breathing! Oh and surprise surprise I also drink cos I’m human!

Him - ok u alone x

2 hours later....

Him - shall I cum x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 04 December 2018, 07:56:48 pm
Hi can you help fulfill a fantasy?
Would love to act like we met in a pub went back to yours. We are in your hall kissing, you have a tight dress, or tight top n tight skirt on. Stockings suspenders n skimpy panties but no bra. You are leaning against a wall as we kiss. Taking my hand to rub your breasts gettin you nipples hard, I suck them through your top/dress. You tell me to stop so you can get them out. I use my tongue on them more as you pull your dress up and touch yourself you take your wet fingers rub them on my lips and then tell me to taste you properly I give you oral then we go to the bed room where you ride me
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 05 December 2018, 09:16:23 am
Quote from: Lucie268 on 04 December 2018, 07:56:48 pm
Hi can you help fulfill a fantasy?
Would love to act like we met in a pub went back to yours. We are in your hall kissing, you have a tight dress, or tight top n tight skirt on. Stockings suspenders n skimpy panties but no bra. You are leaning against a wall as we kiss. Taking my hand to rub your breasts gettin you nipples hard, I suck them through your top/dress. You tell me to stop so you can get them out. I use my tongue on them more as you pull your dress up and touch yourself you take your wet fingers rub them on my lips and then tell me to taste you properly I give you oral then we go to the bed room where you ride me
Sounds like he got carried away writing his erotic story !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 07 December 2018, 12:39:13 pm
Hilarious but also disgusting because some people might actually fall for this:

Hi, my viсtim.
I write to yоu beсаuse I put a mаlwаre on the web раge with рorn whiсh you hаvе visited.
My virus grаbbеd аll yоur рersоnal info аnd turned on your cаmerа whiсh caрtured thе рrосess of your masturbation. I must admit you are very pervert...
Just aftеr thаt the software copied your соntaсt lists.
I will delеtе the сomрrоmising videо аnd infо if yоu pаy me 750
GBP in bitсoin.

This is аddress for pаyment

If you do not send the payment within 48 hours I will send this video to all your friends and associates.
I know you live in United Kingdom.

I givе yоu 48 hоurs аfter you oреn my mеssagе for mаking thе trаnsасtion.
As sоon аs you reаd thе mеssаge I'll seе it right аwаy.
It is nоt nесessаry to tell mе that yоu hаvе sent monеy tо me.
This address is cоnneсted tо you, my system will delеte еverything аutоmаtically after transfer confirmаtion.

Send 750 GBP to this address immediately:

1 BTC = 2,584 GBP, so send 0.290925 BTC to the address above.

If you do not know how to send bitcoin, google it.

You саn visit the роlicе stаtion but nobоdy саn hеlp you.
If you try to deсеivе mе , I'll sеe it right аwаy !
I dont livе in your cоuntry. Sо thеy сan nоt trасk my loсatiоn
even for 9 months.
Goоdbyе. Dont forgеt abоut the shаme and if you ignore this, yоur life саn bе ruinеd.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 07 December 2018, 12:51:25 pm
I've had the same on my personal email address several times last week so I think alot of people may be getting it regardless of whether they escort or not.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 07 December 2018, 12:58:04 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 07 December 2018, 02:01:39 pm
I've had it too - just as well I tape over my webcam!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 07 December 2018, 02:03:18 pm
Quote from: Kay on 07 December 2018, 02:01:39 pm
I've had it too - just as well I tape over my webcam!

I don't even have a webcam 🙄
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 07 December 2018, 03:01:35 pm
Quote from: SimplySinful on 07 December 2018, 12:39:13 pm
Hilarious but also disgusting because some people might actually fall for this:

Hi, my viсtim.
I write to yоu beсаuse I put a mаlwаre on the web раge with рorn whiсh you hаvе visited.
My virus grаbbеd аll yоur рersоnal info аnd turned on your cаmerа whiсh caрtured thе рrосess of your masturbation. I must admit you are very pervert...
Just aftеr thаt the software copied your соntaсt lists.
I will delеtе the сomрrоmising videо аnd infо if yоu pаy me 750
GBP in bitсoin.

This is аddress for pаyment

If you do not send the payment within 48 hours I will send this video to all your friends and associates.
I know you live in United Kingdom.

I givе yоu 48 hоurs аfter you oреn my mеssagе for mаking thе trаnsасtion.
As sоon аs you reаd thе mеssаge I'll seе it right аwаy.
It is nоt nесessаry to tell mе that yоu hаvе sent monеy tо me.
This address is cоnneсted tо you, my system will delеte еverything аutоmаtically after transfer confirmаtion.

Send 750 GBP to this address immediately:

1 BTC = 2,584 GBP, so send 0.290925 BTC to the address above.

If you do not know how to send bitcoin, google it.

You саn visit the роlicе stаtion but nobоdy саn hеlp you.
If you try to deсеivе mе , I'll sеe it right аwаy !
I dont livе in your cоuntry. Sо thеy сan nоt trасk my loсatiоn
even for 9 months.
Goоdbyе. Dont forgеt abоut the shаme and if you ignore this, yоur life саn bе ruinеd.

I recieved this on my working email too. I blocked email and deleted it. Some will fall for this crap.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 07 December 2018, 04:44:57 pm
It only takes one person to fall for it to make the scammers efforts worthwhile.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sammy s on 07 December 2018, 04:55:18 pm
Got this text earlier:

U free today for a good pounding? Willing to pay an extra £20 to spunk in your pussy

 ::) lucky me - what an offer!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 07 December 2018, 05:20:35 pm
Quote from: sammy s on 07 December 2018, 04:55:18 pm
...Willing to pay an extra £20 to spunk in your pussy...
TRANSLATION: "I am a complete fuckhead and I believe that you are too".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PissedOffPrincess on 11 December 2018, 04:24:20 pm
I have had the same email to my private email not to my work one.

It is very common so hopefully people will know its a scam.

How not to book...

Text

Hi Lady are you available

I reply hi honey ring to book please

I ask him does he want to come now he says yes

He cant speak English very well

I ask him another question he says he is in work finish 7 or 8pm

I guess hes not coming now then  :FF


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 13 December 2018, 09:23:00 pm
Quote from: sammy s on 07 December 2018, 04:55:18 pm
Got this text earlier:

U free today for a good pounding? Willing to pay an extra £20 to spunk in your pussy

 ::) lucky me - what an offer!
£20 what an insult ..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 14 December 2018, 06:48:03 pm
Someone called me today at 5.10pm wanting a booking as soon as possible. I asked him how long it would take him to get to me and he said about 10 minutes, so I suggested 5.20pm which was apparently too late for him  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PissedOffPrincess on 14 December 2018, 11:00:18 pm
Send texts

"I  want to give you a good going over"

A good seeing too

I want to fuk you in every postition

I am going to ride you hard ++++

then keep texting

Why you not replying , can i book, can you answer please, i am in town now, whats wrong babe, i have money here now, i want to see you babe.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 19 December 2018, 10:05:06 pm
Quote from: PissedOffPrincess on 14 December 2018, 11:00:18 pm
Send texts

"I  want to give you a good going over"

A good seeing too

I want to fuk you in every postition

I am going to ride you hard ++++

then keep texting

Why you not replying , can i book, can you answer please, i am in town now, whats wrong babe, i have money here now, i want to see you babe.

I've had this exact text, in locations varying from Manchester to Yorkshire to London
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 21 December 2018, 12:28:13 am
Me -Hello
Him -Where are you?
Me -I'm where it says in the advert, did you read it?
He - (big sigh) There's no point asking me any questions I won't answer them. Thank you goodbye. Click.

That's my line surely ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Charmaine on 24 December 2018, 02:54:42 pm
Text earlier today

Him :-  U r a Slut
Me :- yes that’s me .
Him :-   Can I c u
Me:- no
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 24 December 2018, 08:10:36 pm
Text: Outcall around 10pm girl
Me: As stated on my profile I don't offer outcalls, finish at 9pm and my name is Hannaah.

I haven't been called a girl for 20+ years and it just rubbed me the wrong way!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LinaBham on 25 December 2018, 03:46:11 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 14 December 2018, 06:48:03 pm
Someone called me today at 5.10pm wanting a booking as soon as possible. I asked him how long it would take him to get to me and he said about 10 minutes, so I suggested 5.20pm which was apparently too late for him  ;D

I hate those types - they usually are nothing but  tws x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 25 December 2018, 10:00:27 pm
Me-Hello
Him-Are you the girl with the fat arse :P
Me-click

I own one, but I don't have any bum pics on my profile ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 26 December 2018, 12:38:25 pm
I was hoping the TW would be too busy hungover today to bother me but no such luck.  :FF

Moron 1: Hi baby xxx
Me: My name is Hannaah.
Moron 1: Hi Hannaah do you do facetime?
Me: No.
Moron 1: awwh you're fit xxx
Moron 1: You shave your pussy xxx
Me: All the information you need is on my profile. If you would like to make a booking then please follow the booking procedure laid out on my profile. (Not that he would be accepted  ::) )


Moron 2: What's postcode?
Me: HELLO.  (I've taken to screaming hello at them when they're rude prats.) I am based 5 minutes drive from x. As stated on my profile I do not give my address until a booking is confirmed.

Moron 3: Wasn't a moron and was welcome back to see me again until he called at 2am this morning. Now he isn't welcome back.

Moron 4: Already saved under smelly and overstayed...no thank you!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 27 December 2018, 08:14:37 pm
Subject: booking
-----------------------------------------------------------------
To suggest a meet I've written you a poem

A suggestion for you if I may?
What are you doing on Friday?
Near chester is where you'll find my place
How do you feel about a full day sat on my face?

A day watching Netflix and eating snacks
Sat on my face and chest you can relax
From 9-5 you crush me under your rear
My face getting redder and redder, oh dear

I try to moan it's getting heavy
Trying to watch your show you say 'how dare he'
'It's a privilege to have my arse crushing your face'
'Take it like a man and learn your place'

Tied up I try to struggle against the cuff
You bounce hard and say 'have you had enough?'
'Tough shit I'm going to squash you all day'
'Under my arse is where you're going to stay'

'One girl on my face, another on my chest'
'Double the weight putting my body to the test'
No mercy, no stopping and no safe word
With a face full of ass I won't be heard

Sat there all day you don't give a shit
If I can cope with any of it
Looking forward to our meeting
No sex, just facesitting
I better gets ready and gets the snack in
All day Friday, 250 for the session
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 27 December 2018, 09:41:14 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 27 December 2018, 10:44:23 pm
Quote from: 80s synthetic on 27 December 2018, 09:41:14 pm
Oh, Hannaah, it gave me a shock,
The rate, the lyrics... What a pillock.

They write, never read
prices stated on profile
Another cheap twat


(I like haiku :D)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seraphine on 27 December 2018, 10:55:32 pm
Quote from: amy on 27 December 2018, 10:44:23 pm
They write, never read
prices stated on profile
Another cheap twat


(I like haiku :D)

Good one!  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DorisDay on 27 December 2018, 10:57:49 pm
00.23am - Hi
01.14am - Hi
03.20am - Hi
05.37am - Hi
07.45am - Hi
10.48am - Hi

OMFG... :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Charmaine on 28 December 2018, 02:29:07 pm
Probably not that bad as he was polite to start with

Him :- Hello Charmaine can I make a booking with you please
Me :- What day and day are you interested and do you have an AW
Him :Yes my name is xxxx on Aw can I see you this Saturday evening at 7pm,
Me:- It clearly says on my profile I do not see anyone with 0 feedback,
Him :- Oh forget it you silly bitch everyone on AW had 0 feedback to start with .

I am wondering if I was a bit harsh but I take my security very seriously and will possibly see him once he has positive feedback
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 28 December 2018, 05:37:21 pm
Charm-You're not in any way harsh. ??? Better he shows his colours now than in your room.

I have this rule about booking people who can at least speak a couple words of English.
Points for trying?

Text -`hi do you see Asian guys who can talk like a white guy or the queen ;D?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PissedOffPrincess on 28 December 2018, 05:50:31 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 28 December 2018, 05:37:21 pm
Charm-You're not in any way harsh. ??? Better he shows his colours now than in your room.

I have this rule about booking people who can at least speak a couple words of English.
Points for trying?

Text -`hi do you see Asian guys who can talk like a white guy or the queen ;D?'

I would have to ring him to hear the accent or maybe book him for his sense of humour.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 28 December 2018, 06:45:41 pm
Some prat just placed a 30 hour booking for the princely sum of £80 (starting at 7pm) , to bypass the fact that I am not available after 6pm . I have told him that (by aw mail) over a dozen times in the last year ..... Here comes my first bad feedback  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 28 December 2018, 07:37:32 pm
Miss B. Have you had a look at your 'default hrs', there's probably loads of info knocking about..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 28 December 2018, 07:45:41 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 28 December 2018, 06:45:41 pm
Some prat just placed a 30 hour booking for the princely sum of £80 (starting at 7pm) , to bypass the fact that I am not available after 6pm . I have told him that (by aw mail) over a dozen times in the last year ..... Here comes my first bad feedback  :FF

Can easily dispute it and make it clear reason. Placed booking request through despite informing him multiple times of not being available after 6pm. He chose to ignore this and books. Clear never met him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Charmaine on 28 December 2018, 08:57:02 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 28 December 2018, 05:37:21 pm
Charm-You're not in any way harsh. ??? Better he shows his colours now than in your room.

I have this rule about booking people who can at least speak a couple words of English.
Points for trying?

Text -`hi do you see Asian guys who can talk like a white guy or the queen ;D?'

Thanks Salty

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 29 December 2018, 11:24:11 am
Quote from: MissBehaving on 28 December 2018, 06:45:41 pm
Some prat just placed a 30 hour booking for the princely sum of £80 (starting at 7pm) , to bypass the fact that I am not available after 6pm . I have told him that (by aw mail) over a dozen times in the last year ..... Here comes my first bad feedback  :FF

As long as you don't schedule or confirm the booking, he can only leave "feedback only" which won't affect your overall score.

Also if you send him a polite mail saying you won't be able to see him, if he does leave something shitty then AW should be able to check your sent mails and remove it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 29 December 2018, 02:16:38 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 29 December 2018, 11:24:11 am

Also if you send him a polite mail saying you won't be able to see him, if he does leave something shitty then AW should be able to check your sent mails and remove it.

Alas I have already sent him a "shitty" reply . Not rude but very stern ...  In the lines of " you have enquired many times and I have replied just as many times " my last available appointment is 6pm, no later " , a 30 hour booking for £80 is a joke, please do not contact me again" .
I do not delete any mails or bookings requests so fingers crossed AW will side with me if needs be.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 29 December 2018, 02:22:23 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 28 December 2018, 07:37:32 pm
Miss B. Have you had a look at your 'default hrs', there's probably loads of info knocking about..

My default hours are set as they should , but by placing a 30 hour booking , it bypass the system . AW assumes that you wouldn't want to miss a long booking . Any booking over 4 hours will go through even if your default hours are set that you're not available / working at that time , that day or even that  week.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 29 December 2018, 02:28:02 pm
Oh I see I didn't know that MissB :-\
...wondering now. I'll drop you a PM. Thanks.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 29 December 2018, 05:26:27 pm
Chances are he has very little or even neg Fb himself. My 30 hour booker only had FB only from others he'd also pulled this crap with. All he could do was leave FB only and which I was able to respond and leave him FB only, incidentally he never made any comments on his crap FB.

Anyway back on track.... Don't contact us, arrange a time confirm you will send a text, and act all surprised when you finally phone to hear, 'sorry mate, I've made other plans".

I knew it was a tw anyway lol and gave him a generic will be available after X time.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PissedOffPrincess on 30 December 2018, 04:56:34 pm
Send a photo of themself next to an open toilet with solids and toilet paper in it

 :'( :'( :'( :'(

Please let me unsee it please


It is not a hardsports fan its a dummy who did not check his photo
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 30 December 2018, 06:21:36 pm
Me-Hello

Caller- Hello, I've had 5g of crack since last night it's my last hurrah and it's do or die for me today!
I'm standing in Westfield Shopping Center waiting for some more, would you like to come to my place? :P



(OMG! :-X do people accidentally keep photos like that if they're not into chocolate log action Princess?)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PissedOffPrincess on 31 December 2018, 12:26:11 am
Quote from: saltysweet on 30 December 2018, 06:21:36 pm
Me-Hello

Caller- Hello, I've had 5g of crack since last night it's my last hurrah and it's do or die for me today!
I'm standing in Westfield Shopping Center waiting for some more, would you like to come to my place? :P



(OMG! :-X do people accidentally keep photos like that if they're not into chocolate log action Princess?)

So tempted to send you a screen shot but i think that would be cruel it can not be unseen
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 31 December 2018, 12:58:56 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 28 December 2018, 06:45:41 pm
Some prat just placed a 30 hour booking for the princely sum of £80 (starting at 7pm) , to bypass the fact that I am not available after 6pm . I have told him that (by aw mail) over a dozen times in the last year ..... Here comes my first bad feedback  :FF
Ask him to delete it and inform him there is a error on bookings on the system. That you don't offer 30hours.
I've had these clowns and they don't bother leaving feedback.
If you have his mobile text that info over then he can't say he didn't receive it.
Bloody nuisance
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 31 December 2018, 05:58:19 pm
Quote from: PissedOffPrincess on 31 December 2018, 12:26:11 am
So tempted to send you a screen shot but i think that would be cruel it can not be unseen

Too late my imagination's already created it's own photo without asking my permission.:o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amberxxx on 31 December 2018, 11:04:29 pm
Couldn't help but share this delightful invitation...

"Can you do an outcall to xx darling??
I have a good location and can get someone to pick you up.
It's just me here and want to fuck trust me we will have a good time I have 5 acres plenty of places to fuck"

Needless to say I did not reply as I'm not keen on becoming a 'Missing Person'  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PissedOffPrincess on 02 January 2019, 09:12:57 am
Send PMs asking about what you are interested in after having said he is in a different country.
Saying he has read my profile then asking how much, do you do nal, do you do etc etc

Asking do  you do fetish not saying what fetish he is into then sending ???   ????   ????
because I said he would need to say what fetish it is

Saying he has read my profile sees I am into XX great he is too so can he have a deal for a longer booking ( the your going to enjoy this so I do not have to pay type)

Get butt hurt because I told him he can not have a freebie

My phone has been off 3 days for a break I should not read my PMs
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 02 January 2019, 04:46:44 pm
Random- Is it a flat or hotel?
Me- Why?
Random- I might be sent away if it's a hotel
Me- Why?
Random- Because they might be looking at me
Me- How long have you had this feeling...that people...are staring at you?
Random-click
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 03 January 2019, 04:18:49 pm
Here is a good one :FF

Hi x sorry but love your pictures and would be amazing without condom with you if you would consider for £500

*I don't do bareback*

I replied - FUCK OFF blocked him immediately.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 06 January 2019, 11:28:42 am
Such eloquent texters around these days... 'U up u drive?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ilovewine on 06 January 2019, 02:23:59 pm
I'm seriously loosing the will to live. FIVE texts today..

1.  Postcode?
2.  U working bby (I absolutely detest being called bby)
3.  Hi
4.  I av big cock.. Wanna picture?
5.  Where are you? I come to you  in 5 minutes. (how is that even possible if the fucking twat is asking where I am).

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 07 January 2019, 05:34:14 am
I think many clients/timewasters are stressed and they lose the ability to think straight and converse rationally at this time of year.  The SAD season brings out the worst.  I have had lots of ridiculous texts too.  It has got to the point I don't even answer them.  If it is a day off then this needs to be respected.

Quite why they think we have no life of our own or human need for relax and recreation and no lifestyle of our own is beyond comprehension.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 07 January 2019, 10:14:48 pm
Lush you said it perfectly many sound severely depressed, irrational, confused, angry, hyper or loooooooow energy. Like some part of their brain is stroking or something. I still like to entertain myself with them sometimes. ;D

Mr Potatohead- Can you tell me where you are?
Me- What website did you see me on?
Mr Potatohead- Adultwerk
Me- My location's on there
Mr Potatohead- I've rung a few girls and need to find out who you are
Me- Well that's FLATTERING >:D
Mr Potatohead-click
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dolls on 10 January 2019, 12:38:49 pm
Text: Where do i come?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 10 January 2019, 01:26:06 pm
Try and book with their limited time frame. Cancel on the day and try to repeat.
After a couple of RB which is how I found the fool initially, which probably went the same way as still, no FB advertise on a certain forum.  :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 11 January 2019, 12:39:45 pm
Text
Baby I'm on aw pos  cod yeah
Translated = as I'm on adult work postcode yes ?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 11 January 2019, 12:44:55 pm
Text 2/1/2017
Hi babe would you meet me just for me to lick you for 10 mins for 25 xx

Then on 4/1/2019
Hi Kat, we haven't met yet, I'm Jay I'm 42 and fit. Just starting my own visiting massage service for ladies only I advertise on AW, I'm offering any ladies who advertise on gumtree a free massage in Jan as I need to build my client base x
  ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 11 January 2019, 01:07:38 pm
"Sedme adres"

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 11 January 2019, 02:13:42 pm
Quote from: katrina on 11 January 2019, 01:07:38 pm
"Sedme adres"

 ;D
:D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Charmaine on 13 January 2019, 09:40:27 am
Idiot . Hello
Me . Would you like to make a booking
Idiot. Yes
Me . Ok what date and time and how long for
Idiot . Don’t know yet have not decided
Idiot. Will need to see a face picture first ,
Me . I do not send face pictures.
Idiot . You must be ugly.

I did no not reply after his last text and blocked him
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 13 January 2019, 02:07:28 pm
Hi I can I ask u got big boobs
Are u indoors?!
Blocked
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Daniirish on 18 January 2019, 03:09:05 pm
Text message " ld like to make a appointment for 6pm this evening "
Followed by "where are you located?"

Ffs  :FF Firstly it's on the ad you are replying to and secondly I'd imagine your request for a 6pm appointment is a total waste of my time if you don't even know what f'ING county I'm in  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Charmaine on 19 January 2019, 08:21:00 am
Text message

Him . Hi babe
Me . I’m not your babe , my name is clearly on my profile
Him . Fuck off you moody cow

Obviously a time waster or just a moron
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amberxxx on 20 January 2019, 09:41:32 am
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 20 January 2019, 12:44:36 pm
Hi I'm in Kent I loved your profile
Me oh your no where near me where you looking to book?
Oh I I occasionally find out come to London
can you Skype?
Me sorry I don't advertise that.
Why call???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 20 January 2019, 03:00:51 pm
Ur amazing do i send u money

I replied....you mean for a deposit for a booking? If u want to book then yes. How long did u want to book for and when please?

Do i owe alot for txting im in essex sorry if it's thousands now

Me.....I don't understand?

WTF????? Can anyone make heads or tails of those messages? I certainly can't!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 20 January 2019, 05:51:10 pm
Money  pig?, human ATM? forced financial domination?  ???
For a laught,  text him, yes buy your private AW gallery now and price it at £50 per 24hr view :) and block. Obviously if he buys, then you're onto a winner but they normally don't.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 20 January 2019, 10:17:57 pm
Texts:

Hey
Hey x
Can you take care of a young cock


Bless  :angel: :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amberxxx on 21 January 2019, 05:44:52 am
Quote from: saltysweet on 20 January 2019, 05:51:10 pm
Money  pig?, human ATM? forced financial domination?  ???
For a laught,  text him, yes buy your private AW gallery now and price it at £50 per 24hr view :) and block. Obviously if he buys, then you're onto a winner but they normally don't.

Agreed! Give it a crack lol. You never know!! :D

Otherwise it sounds like he has the wrong number?! Confusing, definitely
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Treetop on 21 January 2019, 02:11:51 pm
Quote from: katrina on 20 January 2019, 10:17:57 pm
Texts:

Hey
Hey x
Can you take care of a young cock


Bless  :angel: :D

Poor lads got the number for an escort and a farmer mixed up in his phone.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 21 January 2019, 02:20:48 pm
Quote from: Treetop on 21 January 2019, 02:11:51 pm
Poor lads got the number for an escort and a farmer mixed up in his phone.
Ya ha ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 21 January 2019, 02:31:10 pm
Quote from: Treetop on 21 January 2019, 02:11:51 pm
Poor lads got the number for an escort and a farmer mixed up in his phone.

God knows what he texted the farmer then!  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 21 January 2019, 03:07:50 pm
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 21 January 2019, 02:31:10 pm
God knows what he texted the farmer then!  ;D ;D ;D
Ya ha ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 22 January 2019, 06:17:32 pm
Idiot that thinks we escorts are drive through takeaway.

Can you do an outcall tonight, 1 hour at Marriott hotel in Langley (SL3)? Want GFE, OWO and French kissing

*Idiot did not read my profile or he not have contacted me asking for owo which I clearly state I don't provide. - Blocked the prick*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ellie B on 22 January 2019, 11:11:10 pm
"I want us both to fart on each other's face. It will be a one hour face farting competition booking"
could not press the block sender button quick enough.
 ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CurlsnCurves on 23 January 2019, 09:32:42 am
Quote from: Ellie B on 22 January 2019, 11:11:10 pm
"I want us both to fart on each other's face. It will be a one hour face farting competition booking"
could not press the block sender button quick enough.
 ???

What, you turned him down? Sounds delightful.  :-X :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 28 January 2019, 01:20:51 am
How to get your cock not wanked by anyone ever

Mr Donuthead-Forget it, learn how to text before you start criticising people's English
Me-Glad I could help
Mr Donuthead-U know deep down I'm harmless. Is this evening possible?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 28 January 2019, 10:51:35 pm
AW email asking if I was available now, I reply saying I finished at 7pm and get this charming response.

Subject: Booking .
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Basicly .my wife passed away 3 years ago. I haven't had sex for 3.5 years. I am a single dad and don't want to meet a new mum. . I just need sex with a woman with a big bum .haha. hope u can help.

 ::) ::)


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 29 January 2019, 11:56:51 am
Quote from: Hannaah on 28 January 2019, 10:51:35 pm
AW email asking if I was available now, I reply saying I finished at 7pm and get this charming response.

Subject: Booking .
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Basicly .my wife passed away 3 years ago. I haven't had sex for 3.5 years. I am a single dad and don't want to meet a new mum. . I just need sex with a woman with a big bum .haha. hope u can help.

 ::) ::)

All clients chat bull. Wants to manipulate you then you engage in soppy emails.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Daniirish on 31 January 2019, 02:26:37 am
Hi (my name). Just read your profile. Wondering if you do this for fun or is it strictly €€€


So he read my profile on a Escort site, which has my rates but he has to check if I charge.....seriously how do these guys manage to stay alive  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 31 January 2019, 03:29:52 pm
Quote from: Daniirish on 31 January 2019, 02:26:37 am
Hi (my name). Just read your profile. Wondering if you do this for fun or is it strictly €€€


So he read my profile on a Escort site, which has my rates but he has to check if I charge.....seriously how do these guys manage to stay alive  :FF
Always was tempted to reply with 'Well seen as you found me adverting on an escort site with rates on my profile,what do you think dickhead?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Daniirish on 02 February 2019, 12:37:22 am
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 31 January 2019, 03:29:52 pm
Always was tempted to reply with 'Well seen as you found me adverting on an escort site with rates on my profile,what do you think dickhead?'

Yep that was a polite version of my reply  :angel:
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 02 February 2019, 01:28:26 pm
Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 31 January 2019, 03:29:52 pm
Always was tempted to reply with 'Well seen as you found me adverting on an escort site with rates on my profile,what do you think dickhead?'

Hahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 03 February 2019, 05:36:26 pm
Told dickhead I'm not working at the moment

Ok can you suggest a mate?

Oddly enough I cannot. There are many sites available to assist you, such as the one you found me on.

What's the average for 5 hours?

As I have said, I am not working. As for the average, you will find this on the websites. We are individuals who work on our own terms and pay. Suggest you search.

How about 1 hour?

 :FF :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 04 February 2019, 11:06:26 am
Text of the morning
Do u do blow and go
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 04 February 2019, 11:44:53 am
I have had some idiot emails this weekend.

One guy emailed quoting my price, just to say that I offered no services, with a lol at the end.  Meaning he thinks my prices are too high.

Wtf is wrong with some people. Too much time on their hands.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 04 February 2019, 11:49:17 am
Caller
Do you do gang bangs luv?
I no longer explain to these clowns that I don't do stuff I just put phone down on them.
Now where are the nice clients I need at least 3 before this evening..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 04 February 2019, 03:09:41 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 04 February 2019, 11:06:26 am
Text of the morning
Do u do blow and go

When I am in the mood to reply. I would of replied. Yes I do.

You Come - I open my door - Hand over my fee - I blow in your face and closed my door and you go.

Of course I know what blow and go means.  lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GG on 04 February 2019, 07:22:32 pm
I got one the other day
Clown: want massage
Me: can you please visit my website for details
Clown: not 4 me 2 bigin  bodi
Me: Thats perfectly fine as i only see people who know how to string a sentence together x
Clown: fat slagg bitch suck cock

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 04 February 2019, 09:05:44 pm
Another one

Hi, I would really like to book you tomorrow but I lost my bank card over the weekend.

Erm ok. Contact me when you have a replacement.

Oh you don't understand. I would like to see you tomorrow and I will pay you next time.

Haha you do realise that I don't operate on the basis of see now and pay later?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 04 February 2019, 11:51:59 pm
Quote from: Gina G on 04 February 2019, 07:22:32 pm
I got one the other day
Clown: want massage
Me: can you please visit my website for details
Clown: not 4 me 2 bigin  bodi
Me: Thats perfectly fine as i only see people who know how to string a sentence together x
Clown: fat slagg bitch suck cock

 ;D

Clown: fat slagg bitch suck cock.

I would of replied - I will happily suck a cock that's what I'm paid to do. You Illiterate imbecile.

Then blocked his ass quickly.






Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GG on 05 February 2019, 04:32:46 am
Quote from: DynamiteDoll on 04 February 2019, 11:51:59 pm
Clown: fat slagg bitch suck cock.

I would of replied - I will happily suck a cock that's what I'm paid to do. You Illiterate imbecile.

Then blocked his ass quickly.
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 05 February 2019, 08:44:20 pm
Quote from: someonesomewhere on 04 February 2019, 09:05:44 pm
...Oh you don't understand. I would like to see you tomorrow and I will pay you next time...
He left out the rest, namely, "I wouldn't try this at Tesco or KFC or anywhere else, but with an escort, I reckon it's fine.  You brainless, cock-swallowing sluts are too stupid to see the obvious scam that I am trying to pull, you understand.  Also, unlike entities like Tesco and KFC, you are 99.9% unlikely to be able to do anything about it once it has happened anyway."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LittleMinx2 on 08 February 2019, 12:26:29 pm
Him:can I book you for an hour today? Any time will do
Me:I can do 2pm
Him:can you not do 3pm?
Me:2pm is my only slot left today
Him:But I want 3pm, cancel a client for me
Me:no sorry, they booked in advance and you said any time was fine
Him: I can't do 2pm, you have to cancel a client for me

I stopped replying after that.  =.=
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NortheastGirl on 10 February 2019, 09:28:27 am
Aw email at 4am in the morning

“I want you”
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: chocoholicgirl on 10 February 2019, 11:28:03 am
Quote from: LittleMinx2 on 08 February 2019, 12:26:29 pm
Him:can I book you for an hour today? Any time will do
Me:I can do 2pm
Him:can you not do 3pm?
Me:2pm is my only slot left today
Him:But I want 3pm, cancel a client for me
Me:no sorry, they booked in advance and you said any time was fine
Him: I can't do 2pm, you have to cancel a client for me

I stopped replying after that.  =.=

That is quality! I would have stopped replying after his second message... :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 10 February 2019, 07:29:33 pm
Very short phone call.

Idiot: Hi do you see couples
Me: Yes I do Male and Female couples. Is your partner there with you
Idiot: I want to book you. (The fact that he said * I *) indicates his a con man fake.
Me: No problem I must speak to your ladyfriend do pass the phone over to her.
Idiot: CLICK phone ended.

Me I immediately  blocked the idiot. :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 14 February 2019, 01:59:34 pm
‘Hi I’d like to come and see you, but I have a condition called Giganticism & have a 14 inch cock.’


Course you do mate.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 14 February 2019, 03:02:36 pm
Quote from: GG on 14 February 2019, 01:59:34 pm
‘Hi I’d like to come and see you, but I have a condition called Giganticism & have a 14 inch cock.’


Course you do mate.
I've had this one before he even sent me a very obviously photo-shopped picture as well!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JustAnotherHooker on 14 February 2019, 09:05:05 pm
I would have replied ‘sorry I can only work with cocks that are 16 inches and up’, that would’ve shut him up!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 14 February 2019, 09:35:41 pm
Quote from: GG on 14 February 2019, 01:59:34 pm
‘Hi I’d like to come and see you, but I have a condition called Giganticism & have a 14 inch cock.’


Course you do mate.

I would have been tempted to respond with "sorry mate I am suffering from an acute case of dontbelieveuitis" so best we don't meet.  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 14 February 2019, 09:48:59 pm
Quote from: Justine on 14 February 2019, 09:35:41 pm
I would have been tempted to respond with "sorry mate I am suffering from an acute case of dontbelieveuitis" so best we don't meet.  :)
"Dontbelieveuitis": ya ha ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 15 February 2019, 08:06:44 pm
Had someone message a few times over the last few weeks : negative feedback about how he persistently messages and never commits to a booking , then he calls and is rude, sounds like a middle aged Romanian male (accd to aw fb). Taking inspo from this wonderful forum, and knowing full well I wasn’t going to meet him so no pennies lost, I replied this time.

His message this evening : “want to come Monday for 1 hr. I’m 19 is that okay”.
(My profile states which days I’m available, and he messages asking for days I’m not available).
My snippy reply : “well. It’s not okay for you, being 19 and unable to read.. poor thing!”
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MelissaS on 20 February 2019, 10:16:01 pm
'Hi would you destroy my marriage if I start meeting you on a regular basis for a minimum of two years babe xxx'

What?  ???  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 21 February 2019, 01:40:30 am
“I want 30min incalls, is the cum unlimited yeah?”
- to which I sadly had to reply that I’d run out of my supply of cum so unfortunately there wasn’t ‘any’ ...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 21 February 2019, 08:22:58 am
Quote from: MelissaS on 20 February 2019, 10:16:01 pm
'Hi would you destroy my marriage if I start meeting you on a regular basis for a minimum of two years babe xxx'

What?  ???  ::)

It's a fetish, which appears to be the "in" fetish at the mo. (Home Wrecker)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 25 February 2019, 10:21:22 am
Put my phone on too early this morning  :FF
First caller.. "Hi babe I not done this sort of thing before. What do you do exactly!? '"
Please start by reading profiles before calling ladies.
Call cut by me.
I 2nd caller.  do you work everyday I need to do my research?
 first before I make a decision on who I want to see.
Like I care really  :FF
Oops phone cut out

Text
Hi adult work can I see you? I lol what an idiot
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PissedOffPrincess on 27 February 2019, 07:29:46 pm
Texts for over a year every time I am in his town wanting to meet but never calls
Then texts 3 days before I get to his area offers a deposit does not reply to my acceptance and asking him to call to arrange

Might have thought I would chat and book and refuse the deposit  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PissedOffPrincess on 04 March 2019, 12:04:05 pm
Man I have never met wants to meet on thursday

I do not take advance bookings without a deposit
He sent many texts many phone calls ignored my request to pay a deposit keeps ringing and texting

I answer again tell him i need a deposit he will not pay a deposit because he Will come i said i will come i do not lie

I told him i will not take a booking without a deposit if a reg wants that time i will give it to my regular not a newbie 

He then insisted we will meet on saturday ( different town to thursday as I tour) I said he is not booked he has not paid a deposit he hung up saying I will confirm on Friday see you then

Is there no way to educate them?

IF I have no one coming at that time on saturday I will take him but a deposit wins everytime
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 04 March 2019, 12:15:10 pm
Not the kind of clients  you want.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 10 March 2019, 07:34:03 pm
AHAHAHAHAHA to someonesomewhere!!!😆😆😆 The guy who lost his bank card, wanted to see you & pay you "next time". 

I had 1 who wanted to WRITE ME A CHECK, then asked that I not cash it til the following week.

I didn't see him🙄🙄🙄.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ThirdCoastGal on 11 March 2019, 09:02:47 am
I’ve recently hit upon the idea of saying yes to everything, for an outrageous price.

Dingbat: I want to buy your panty how much?
Me: Sure, $500
Dingbat: Nevermind for that much!

Illiterate Guy: Would you come to (small town three hours from me).
Me:  Absolutely.  Out of town bookings are $3,000 plus the regular rate for the visit, and travel expenses. Let me know.
Illiterate Guy: ...

Yucky Guy: Normal convo, then: Would you see me without a coat? (condom)
Me:  I will.  That’s $50,000.  I need a clean test from you, and a $10,000 deposit a month before the booking so I have time to get started on Prep and prophylactic valtrex.
Yucky Guy: ...

It’s great.  Money talk wouldn’t work for hagglers, but the chancers are totally thrown off their game.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 11 March 2019, 11:22:39 am
That's great idea  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seleranda on 26 March 2019, 07:53:14 pm
Oh, I never get true gems, just the odd cheapskate and others ringing some bells for whatever reason. But this one is worthy of this thread! A bit of a long post, sorry.


"[bit of introduction skipped]

I have a unique request and I am hoping that you would be able to accommodate this?

On the 27th of April, a group of 13 guys are going to Barcelona for my best friend’s stag party (he and I coming from Malaga, and many of his friends coming from Denmark). We are staying at the MH Apartments Center and will be going out for the night as a group.  We will be finished our dinner around 23:30 and will be going to an Irish bar [at this place] after.

I would like to know if it would be possible for you and an equally pretty “friend” to join us there as actresses? (Not as escorts)

The idea would be that you and your friend arrive 5 minutes apart from each other as normal, separate patrons of the bar – then, casually (not immediately) you would both take an “interest” in the stag first by making eye-contact, ultimately talking with him, flirting with him, etc.. first one of you, then as one goes to the toilet, the other has her ‘turn’, so you would both appear (to him, and to the others in our group) that you were both sort of competing over him for his attention.  This will make him feel FANTASTIC… (of course) and then… after you both had your turns, maybe even both taken his number (separately) – you would then start talking to each other (you and your friend) – of course, all of us guys would assume you were “fighting over him” – and the stag would surely feel incredible at this stage, and pretty much all of us guys would be watching you (probably not overly obviously) – but then, your conversation with your friend turns from ‘serious’ to fun, laughing, joking, etc… and then ultimately turn to you kissing each other, openly, freely, passionately and for a long time, and then ultimately you take your friend’s hand and lead her outside and away.  E.G. So you leave together….! 

I understand this is not a typical request, and no additional services would be required, your drinks would obviously be paid as well.  If this is something you could do, please let me know the total cost.  I suspect 1 hour would be plenty of time for this ‘show’. 

I plan on not even telling the other guys about this, so there would be 100% authenticity in the ‘act’ – and would of course pay you up-front before your performance.

Do let me know if this is something you would like to do!  I think it would seriously make his night, and put him in a brilliant mood for the rest of the partying we’ll be doing after!"



Needless to say I am a rubbish actress LOL.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 27 March 2019, 02:19:24 pm
Quote from: seleranda on 26 March 2019, 07:53:14 pm
Oh, I never get true gems, just the odd cheapskate and others ringing some bells for whatever reason. But this one is worthy of this thread! A bit of a long post, sorry.


"[bit of introduction skipped]

I have a unique request and I am hoping that you would be able to accommodate this?

On the 27th of April, a group of 13 guys are going to Barcelona for my best friend’s stag party (he and I coming from Malaga, and many of his friends coming from Denmark). We are staying at the MH Apartments Center and will be going out for the night as a group.  We will be finished our dinner around 23:30 and will be going to an Irish bar [at this place] after.

I would like to know if it would be possible for you and an equally pretty “friend” to join us there as actresses? (Not as escorts)

The idea would be that you and your friend arrive 5 minutes apart from each other as normal, separate patrons of the bar – then, casually (not immediately) you would both take an “interest” in the stag first by making eye-contact, ultimately talking with him, flirting with him, etc.. first one of you, then as one goes to the toilet, the other has her ‘turn’, so you would both appear (to him, and to the others in our group) that you were both sort of competing over him for his attention.  This will make him feel FANTASTIC… (of course) and then… after you both had your turns, maybe even both taken his number (separately) – you would then start talking to each other (you and your friend) – of course, all of us guys would assume you were “fighting over him” – and the stag would surely feel incredible at this stage, and pretty much all of us guys would be watching you (probably not overly obviously) – but then, your conversation with your friend turns from ‘serious’ to fun, laughing, joking, etc… and then ultimately turn to you kissing each other, openly, freely, passionately and for a long time, and then ultimately you take your friend’s hand and lead her outside and away.  E.G. So you leave together….! 

I understand this is not a typical request, and no additional services would be required, your drinks would obviously be paid as well.  If this is something you could do, please let me know the total cost.  I suspect 1 hour would be plenty of time for this ‘show’. 

I plan on not even telling the other guys about this, so there would be 100% authenticity in the ‘act’ – and would of course pay you up-front before your performance.

Do let me know if this is something you would like to do!  I think it would seriously make his night, and put him in a brilliant mood for the rest of the partying we’ll be doing after!"



Needless to say I am a rubbish actress LOL.

This fool is in for a surprise shock when he is presented with the full bill. - Flights (B...A) not the budget airlines - Hotel - 50percent of the fee before travel - other 50 percent when there. In total I would expect £4grand which this fee is not included in the accommodation and transportation that he is to cover. That is if I did such type of bookings.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 27 March 2019, 02:20:42 pm
** What this idiot is requesting I do not provide ***

Hi I'm looking for a session where I tie you up and tickle you nonstop. Once your tied down I'm allowed to do anything I like, but you can send me a 'no, no' list of things you don't like in advance. Are you up for a fun session like this? A session like no other...


My reply

You have the wrong type of escort.

Do read the females profile details including the enjoys likes list before sending your copy and paste email around.

Have a good day.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: seleranda on 27 March 2019, 06:51:21 pm
Quote from: DynamiteDoll on 27 March 2019, 02:19:24 pm
This fool is in for a surprise shock when he is presented with the full bill. - Flights (B...A) not the budget airlines - Hotel - 50percent of the fee before travel - other 50 percent when there. In total I would expect £4grand which this fee is not included in the accommodation and transportation that he is to cover. That is if I did such type of bookings.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I do live in Barcelona. What was surprising is the request per se and how detailed it is for someone who isn't even him! I mean, the act is supposed to be for his friend. It would be entertaining the three of them though. It sounds sooo easy yet it would be sooo weird.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 27 March 2019, 07:18:45 pm
Quote from: seleranda on 27 March 2019, 06:51:21 pm
Oh, I forgot to mention that I do live in Barcelona. What was surprising is the request per se and how detailed it is for someone who isn't even him! I mean, the act is supposed to be for his friend. It would be entertaining the three of them though. It sounds sooo easy yet it would be sooo weird.

Ohhhh but I still charge for other idiots friends who are being part of enjoyment entertainment. So the rate will be local Barcelona 1 hour outcall rate per  head then 50percent deposit and rest before entering the venue on the day of the booking. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 27 March 2019, 07:45:14 pm
Dynamite Doll ~
That sounds creepy AF😮. The only way I'd agree to that is with a switchblade in my hand during the entire session, smh.

Obviously I'm ~ what is it you guys say? Taking the piss? But that sounds like a super way for him to pin you down & do whatever the hell he wants to you; your list of "no no's" be damned. *shudder*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nonsugar on 27 March 2019, 09:18:30 pm
I had a great one a few days (on whatsapp)

Him: Hi, I just saw your ad on [site] and I'am interested. Can you tell me more?
Me: Hello darling, what would you like to know?
Him: Are u good
Me: I assume you think so if you contacted me? ::)
Him: Ring me
Me: Why can't you call me if you want to talk on the phone?
Him: (texts on my phone not whatsapp) Ring me *Ignored* Ring me you dumb cow

I blocked him and he is still texting me to ring him  ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 27 March 2019, 09:21:08 pm
Quote from: Nonsugar on 27 March 2019, 09:18:30 pm
I had a great one a few days (on whatsapp)

...Hi, I just saw your ad on [site] and I'am interested. Can you tell me more?...
In the last 2 weeks, I have had this same message from numerous numbers via WhatsApp.  I suspect it is a templated click-through message on VS.  (I may be wrong, of course).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HankyPanky on 28 March 2019, 07:34:24 am
Why do so many men say "I'm looking for someone regular" when booking for the first time.
It makes me cringe when they say it
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 28 March 2019, 07:54:18 am
Quote from: HankyPanky on 28 March 2019, 07:34:24 am
Why do so many men say "I'm looking for someone regular" when booking for the first time.
It makes me cringe when they say it
It's some dumb idea of theirs to make us think they may be genuine but as they say it automatically
We know there not ..very irritating  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Louisereturned on 28 March 2019, 08:35:27 am
I’ve just had, I see you’ve increased your prices will you honour your previous price?!?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 28 March 2019, 10:05:44 am
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 28 March 2019, 07:54:18 am
It's some dumb idea of theirs to make us think they may be genuine...
Yes, and / or to get a discount
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 28 March 2019, 10:08:44 am
Quote from: Louisereturned on 28 March 2019, 08:35:27 am
I’ve just had, I see you’ve increased your prices will you honour your previous price?!?!
...not that he's any sort of glorified haggler, of course...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Louisereturned on 28 March 2019, 01:02:53 pm
  I said no I’m insulted and I wouldn’t see anybody that haggles! his dick smelt  didn’t want to see again anyway lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HankyPanky on 28 March 2019, 01:19:38 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 28 March 2019, 07:54:18 am
It's some dumb idea of theirs to make us think they may be genuine but as they say it automatically
We know there not ..very irritating  :FF

Was thinking too it's an entitled thing, where they think they'll get special treatment for being a potential Reg so you have to go all out with them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 28 March 2019, 01:35:18 pm
Quote from: HankyPanky on 28 March 2019, 01:19:38 pm
Was thinking too it's an entitled thing, where they think they'll get special treatment for being a potential Reg so you have to go all out with them.
Yes, that too! 
Obviously, as ignorant, desperate prossies, we won't see this for the manipulative trick that it is (or rather, would be)...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 28 March 2019, 01:36:43 pm
random -I'd like to book deepthroat
me - OK
random But can you really do it?
me -I wouldn't agree if I couldn't
random- I've been mislead by lots of girls blah blah bleat bleaty bleat bleat
me - Ok...so what happens if I'm unable to do it? (already lost interest and plotting pork-crackling-apple sandwich for lunch hmmmm)
random - This is a verbal business contract and I will write a negative review
me - Well it's my favourite thing and I love doing it but on this occassion I think I'll decline
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 28 March 2019, 01:37:12 pm
Repeat post deleted!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: RealSlimShady on 28 March 2019, 10:49:55 pm
 "Hi"

 "Hi babe/bby"

 "Are you available?" *When availability is clearly displayed on AW*

 And the crème de la crème...

 "U avl"


*All this when you clearly state that the first point of contact with you is over phone and still you get such displays of brilliance over text*


 These assholes must have suffered some brain damage, honestly...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: workingmum on 29 March 2019, 01:36:38 pm
Email today read's

Sex???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 29 March 2019, 01:52:25 pm
Workingmum ~
I hope you replied, "Money?"😂🤣😁
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 29 March 2019, 01:58:28 pm
Just now :
“ shame u a lot for quicke i get for 50 “
Literally that, I don’t even understand it...  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 30 March 2019, 06:15:58 pm
Call this morning.
What can you do for £40.00? I didn't bother answering. Just put phone down
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvymamma on 01 April 2019, 08:31:36 am
"I work for ticket master, I can give you £300 worth of tickets for anything you want to see, in exchange for an hour's incall".

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 01 April 2019, 09:45:07 am
Quote from: Curvymamma on 01 April 2019, 08:31:36 am
"I work for ticket master, I can give you £300 worth of tickets for anything you want to see, in exchange for an hour's incall".

 :FF

TBH I'd have been tempted by Download.

Ticket prices are insane these days.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 01 April 2019, 10:49:39 am
Text from blocked number
Give me pos cod I kiss u
Lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 04 April 2019, 12:02:34 pm
One caller wanking off while trying to book me!
Huffing puffing and gasping, surprised he could speak.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 04 April 2019, 05:38:50 pm
First time using AT in a long time as I mostly see regs and they know they can text to book but been a little quiet so decided to use AT again and quickly realized why I rarely do!

A bunch of postcode? and address and hey babe and u available texts followed with my favourite so far: I am a real customer.

I don't think he would have to tell me that if it was in fact true.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 04 April 2019, 06:58:29 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 04 April 2019, 05:38:50 pm
First time using AT in a long time as I mostly see regs and they know they can text to book but been a little quiet so decided to use AT again and quickly realized why I rarely do!

A bunch of postcode? and address and hey babe and u available texts followed with my favourite so far: I am a real customer.

I don't think he would have to tell me that if it was in fact true.  ::)

Yes save your credits.. It's bloody irritating isn't it  :FF
If someone likes the look of you they will get in touch
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LilMissChaos on 07 April 2019, 05:43:22 pm
One of the biggest getters- of- my-goat is when guy send a follow-up text (having not yet received a reply to their first) saying nothing but:

?? ??

Most of the time the initial text is nonsense I'd be ignoring (the usual "Postcode"/"Hi/"U Wrkn"? drivel) coming from the type of client I'd not agree to see in the first place...

But if I ever see that fucking Question Mark Text in the cases where, disappointingly, I've just genuinely not been able to reply to an otherwise quite reasonable initial enqiry text :FF....

...is also a definite case of Bye-bye ya bloody Half-Wit  >:( For me, there is nothing, and I mean nothing that smacks of impatient, egotistical self-entitled Dickhead-ery than that GRRR!!

I've binned a couple of previous/repeat clients for doing the same, such is my loathing of it   >:( >:( >:(

Because I'm of a disposition that compels me to always have the last word where morons are concerned  ;D, then I reply with the corresponding amount of exclamation marks or the middle-finger emoji in a vain attempt at making a point... Which I know is utterly fucking futile because not a single one of them has ever replied with some kind of apology or shown any kind of acknowledgement of my disdain... :FF

...Suppose I should be grateful that these wankers are hiding in Plain Sight, allowing for easy bullet dodging...  ::) :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 07 April 2019, 06:12:11 pm
Yesterday smh.
"So, what are we talking about, price wise?"

🚨🚨🚨

I said gee whiz...where did you find me?🤷🏼‍♀️

"XYZ website."

Now I know for a fact that particular website has my donations listed, sooooo....why are you asking me that ??🤔 (he's hoping for a special, a knockdown, something!)

"I'd like to see you right now."

Another🚨🚨🚨.

Sure, says I🙄 (no way).

"Ok, how much is this going to cost me?"

Are. You. Kidding. Me. Swear to god, I lathered, I rinsed, I repeated Lololol.

"Well, what are we talking about?"

I instantly go into Stupid Mode & say, I have no idea, what ARE we talking about?🤷🏼‍♀️ (remember, this is illegal stateside) & this asshole says, "we're talking about having sex."
🤦🏼‍♀️🔨🤦🏼‍♀️🔨

I gave up & blocked him. Dope.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 08 April 2019, 04:57:18 am
Quote from: Braziliana on 27 March 2019, 09:21:08 pm
In the last 2 weeks, I have had this same message from numerous numbers via WhatsApp.  I suspect it is a templated click-through message on VS.  (I may be wrong, of course).

It’s from Komons if you didn’t put the add there yourself and your getting these messages they have lifted your details
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: workingmum on 08 April 2019, 07:44:24 am
A email saying he wants to kiss my body 400 times where I direct him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 08 April 2019, 10:46:45 am
Empty email with header just saying  Wots you’re phone number

On receiving my auto reply he sends Am in wsm

Eh you what? If a guy wants to see me he can send a decent polite email, not full of gibberish text speak;  and I don’t just give out my number willy nilly.

This is the kind of numbskull who contacts me when I do AT......
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 08 April 2019, 01:38:09 pm
Email this morning telling me what time he wanted and for me to text him.  hmm
And guess what no correspondence, I'm not holding my breath here  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: kate_x on 08 April 2019, 02:03:17 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 08 April 2019, 01:38:09 pm
Email this morning telling me what time he wanted and for me to text him.  hmm
And guess what no correspondence, I'm not holding my breath here  ::)

If anyone asks me to call or text them I ignore!

They call me for a booking not the other way round!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 08 April 2019, 02:51:02 pm
Today’s idiot :
“Hey is it possible to make a booking in (location) for 15 min today please”

Me : please see my profile for dates.

“I would like 15 mins at 3.30pm today if you can, is it ok to make a booking through AW”

Me : again, please see my profile.

“What have I missed , I thought I email you first with time date etc , then you agree and I put it through the AW website. Sorry if I’m thick and am missing something”

Me : The dates, please read through the whole profile before trying again to arrange. Thanks.

“I was hoping Today at 4pm , for 15 minutes please”

.... fml, I’ve given up replying now, clearly isn’t bothering to / can’t read.
The location he wants I’m not even there until the 21st haha. (AS IT CLEARLY STATES ON MY PROFILE. UGH).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 10 April 2019, 12:34:51 pm
good morning  This is how I would likr our meet.to.go I would love you to charge me extra per hour,
you will be fully clothed when I arrive,
when you open the door you demand I pay your.fee there and then,
then you take my wallet out take all the money out and my.bank cards
and tell me you are going.to use my cards to spoil yourself
Many thanks
No thanks!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Riverprice on 10 April 2019, 03:33:55 pm
Got a.classic:
"Your free now?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 10 April 2019, 06:13:45 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 10 April 2019, 12:34:51 pm
good morning  This is how I would likr our meet.to.go I would love you to charge me extra per hour,
you will be fully clothed when I arrive,
when you open the door you demand I pay your.fee there and then,
then you take my wallet out take all the money out and my.bank cards
and tell me you are going.to use my cards to spoil yourself
Many thanks
No thanks!!

Glad you didn't like the sound of that one Sugar!. That's the technique of a person who was arrested and imprisoned for repeated poor behaviour with SW. Not saying it's him at all. But when it sounds too good to be true....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marianne on 11 April 2019, 10:10:18 am
Quote from: saltysweet on 28 March 2019, 01:36:43 pm
random -I'd like to book deepthroat
me - OK
random But can you really do it?
me -I wouldn't agree if I couldn't
random- I've been mislead by lots of girls blah blah bleat bleaty bleat bleat
me - Ok...so what happens if I'm unable to do it? (already lost interest and plotting pork-crackling-apple sandwich for lunch hmmmm)
random - This is a verbal business contract and I will write a negative review
me - Well it's my favourite thing and I love doing it but on this occassion I think I'll decline

Bleaty bleat bleat  ;D sandwich  ;D you made my day love!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 11 April 2019, 12:47:13 pm
When they text you and say 'Who are you?'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bigcat on 11 April 2019, 03:50:00 pm
“Is the location real?”

Nope, I have ads just for laughs  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 11 April 2019, 06:33:39 pm
Client: are you in an apartment or a house?

Me: I'm in a hotel.

Client: why?

Me: *deciding to have some fun* there's more of a chance for an arrest if I do you by the dumpster outside.

Client: *startled silence* uhhh ok. I thought maybe you had a residence.

Me: I do, but I don't work out of it.

Client: well, what kind of hotel?

Me: (I know what he's asking but figure I'm not seeing him anyway, so who cares)
Wellllll...large room, king sized bed, mini bar, flat screen TV, shower AND tub 🛀🏻!!!

Client: you know what I mean! Are you at a Motel 6? (Brits, that's a very low end, trashy motel over here stateside)

Me: Motel 6 doesn't have a mini bar, dummy.

He hung up & I laughed like a LOON😆.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucy xx on 11 April 2019, 10:49:09 pm
I had a right one today who 'doesn't use bathrooms in places like this' - my bathroom is bleached top to bottom a couple of times a week!

If he thinks a girl isn't enjoying it he makes her do doggy and does it 'really hard so it hurts her'

He read my blog where i was explaining my first booking and how because of the nerves i forgot to take the payment and the client reminded me at the end. he told me 'he wouldn't remind me and have the shag for free'

Absolute charmer!   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 13 April 2019, 08:24:27 am
Text.  hi I saw your add
I'm still holding my breath for the follow up on that message!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 13 April 2019, 08:29:21 am
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 13 April 2019, 08:24:27 am
Text.  hi I saw your add
I'm still holding my breath for the follow up on that message!!
l

I get loads of those texts too  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 13 April 2019, 09:48:29 am
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 13 April 2019, 08:24:27 am
Text.  hi I saw your add
I'm still holding my breath for the follow up on that message!!

Compared to a few texts I have received yours was a full blown conversation.  ;D

I get just the "Hi"  ;D

One time I thought sod it and replied ho  another time it was  low
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VictoriaLilyXXX on 13 April 2019, 10:31:10 am
I had a guy call, which I missed, so i attempted to call him back, had no answer. (no problem)
10-15 minutes later he calls back....

Him 'who's this? you called me?'
Me 'I was just returning your call hun'
Him 'I haven't called you, this number isn't in my log'
Me 'ok my phone must be playing games, telling me i've missed a call when i really haven't!'
Him what's your name? is it..... (4-5 different names)
Me ok bubye

Text Sorry Victoria I did try to call, I just saw the number, are you working now? xx
BLOCKED
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 13 April 2019, 02:44:52 pm
Earlier this week in Waterloo:

Caller: Are you full English?
Me: What?
Caller: Are you full English?
Me: Like bacon and egg?
Caller: No, what is your background, are you fully English?
Me: My 'background' is none of your fucking business, but as it happens I was born in Scotland and my family are Irish with some Welsh, and some French. You literally couldn't have asked anybody less English.
Caller: Oh. I see.
Me: Good for you. Now fuck off.

*Newbies reading, this is definitely the wrong thing to do even when I do it ;D'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 13 April 2019, 03:37:48 pm
Quote from: amy on 13 April 2019, 02:44:52 pm
Earlier this week in Waterloo:

Caller: Are you full English?
Me: What?
Caller: Are you full English?
Me: Like bacon and egg?
Caller: No, what is your background, are you fully English?
Me: My 'background' is none of your fucking business, but as it happens I was born in Scotland and my family are Irish with some Welsh, and some French. You literally couldn't have asked anybody less English.
Caller: Oh. I see.
Me: Good for you. Now fuck off.

*Newbies reading, this is definitely the wrong thing to do even when I do it ;D'

What, you mean your 23andMe full DNA profile isn't displayed on your website?!  :)

My ex is as Cockney as they come, but hasn't got a drop of English blood in him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 13 April 2019, 03:59:55 pm
‘Would you take a sleeve of 200 ciggies as payment’
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 14 April 2019, 08:07:15 pm
Phone me be demanding, refuse to provide an address for outcall, refuse my screening requirements (deposit), call me baby.

Texted me this morning asking for cost, gave a time but still no address

Once again says can't pay a deposit but offers to let me check out his feedback on AW, then says he can drop the money off a a friend's in the town where he wants the outcall (40 minute drive).

Phones me at the time he sent this morning to ask why I'm not with him, says we had a booking arranged 'I told you Xpm why aren't you here?'

I don't have an address, and he told me he couldn't pay the deposit.

I now have a booking with a pleasant regular.

Continually moaning, and asking 'baby what can I do?' as if somehow it's my fault.

Do I have any friends I can recommend?

Not likely even if I did he's aggressive and demanding and unreasonable. :o ::) :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 14 April 2019, 09:54:42 pm
Mirror ~
Let me get this straight:
He wants an appointment with you.
Refuses to give you an address.
Calls you at the time of the booking, asking where you are.

I can't begin to list the things that are wrong with this! WTF??

Once again, I have my head in my hands (& let's not forget the no deposit thing).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 15 April 2019, 08:20:55 am
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 14 April 2019, 09:54:42 pm
Mirror ~
Let me get this straight:
He wants an appointment with you.
Refuses to give you an address.
Calls you at the time of the booking, asking where you are.

I can't begin to list the things that are wrong with this! WTF??

Once again, I have my head in my hands (& let's not forget the no deposit thing).

The bit which got me was the 'check me out on AW to show I'm genuine, nice, reliable......'

Perfect display of how AW feedback (although I didn't look) is superceded by actually talking and communicating with the person.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 15 April 2019, 08:03:20 pm
The international how long can we keep this up? championships ;D

Nob - I'd like a massage >:(
Me - Which one? ;D
Nob - I'd like a massage >:(
Me - Which one? ;D
Nob - I'd like a massage >:(
Me - Which one? ;D
Nob - You're very irritating >:( >:( >:( (hangs up)




Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 15 April 2019, 08:10:24 pm
Today’s ridiculously pointless message :
“When are you coming here ?”
... nothing else, just that. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 15 April 2019, 08:31:17 pm
The perception some of the clowns have of escorts is so bad.
Or maybe they address all women the same way  who knows!
We are meant to be telapathic that's for sure and we understand their ridiculous  primitive effort at communication  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bigcat on 16 April 2019, 06:14:45 pm
Quote from: geordie on 13 April 2019, 03:59:55 pm
‘Would you take a sleeve of 200 ciggies as payment’

Classy!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 16 April 2019, 09:44:13 pm
I'll pay you 40 to run over my fingers with your car.

 ??? ??? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 20 April 2019, 04:07:53 pm
I got a text today telling me to go to a hotel this evening and would I sniff with him!
I've had such stupid callers whom clearly aren't genuine. It's clearly the Easter bank holiday for bored guys  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 20 April 2019, 09:40:10 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 20 April 2019, 04:07:53 pm
I got a text today telling me to go to a hotel this evening and would I sniff with him!
I've had such stupid callers whom clearly aren't genuine. It's clearly the Easter bank holiday for bored guys  :FF

For anyone to purposefully waste another's time they're seriously sad - proper losers    ::)

I had one this morning clearly timewasting.

Utterly pathetic.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 20 April 2019, 10:17:15 pm
Received a text last night telling me he's a genuine man, not someone who will waste my time.

My ads ask not to use text.

I did answer, started to take details then went to bed.

Finished off details this morning for him to say 'changed my mind'.

All texts were polite, I'd signposted to my website which he read (or at least enough to see what I needed).

Just so amusing to say 'Won't waste your time' then back out.

If I had £1 for every person who said 'I'm genuine' or 'I'll be there' or 'I'm not a timewaster' I'd have made twice as much money as I have done.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PissedOffPrincess on 24 April 2019, 05:28:07 pm
Him by Text

I rang u 2day ur in a hotel could u go sumwear else other girls stay in a house in the town

Me

where would u like me to go

Him

Im not sure yet
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 24 April 2019, 05:53:42 pm
Quote from: PissedOffPrincess on 24 April 2019, 05:28:07 pm
...I rang u 2day ur in a hotel could u go sumwear else other girls stay in a house in the town...
"Oh sure!  For you, random stranger, of course I will..."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PissedOffPrincess on 24 April 2019, 05:56:33 pm
I thought he was going to suggest an out call to his place lololol  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PissedOffPrincess on 24 April 2019, 06:17:38 pm
Another one tries to book an outcall because his car has broken down but has not got a way to pay a deposit.
Well getting in a taxi and coming to me is a lot cheaper the my outcall fee ffs I nearly believed he was genuine but no deposit no out

Staying sweet and calm  :angel:
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 24 April 2019, 07:34:27 pm
Princess ~
I get these calls too😡.
They play 20 questions with my availability & when I try & pin them down to a time, they say, "oh I don't know when I can get away today. I just wanted to know if you were working/around/available."

My ever simmering temper tends to snap (sigh) & that's when I politely (sometimes) tell them that's fine, but I very well may be busy &/or scheduled if/when they call back. Sometimes they bite, sometimes they don't, but I refuse to play that game these men.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SimplySinful on 24 April 2019, 08:36:33 pm
If they can’t come back after a couple of emails with a firm date/time they can fuck off as far as I’m concerned.

I’m not a truck stop waiting for passers by.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Amazon_Woman on 25 April 2019, 10:06:49 am
Urgh! I must be the queen magnet for oddballs!  :FF

1) Txt at 10pm (a week or so ago) "Are you free?", Me: "I am available", Them: "Whats your AW profile name again", Me..... I rolled over and fell asleep  ;D

2) Email this morning, "are you free today?", my reply "Unfortunately I'm either booked or have appointments today" (The joys of having a WG life and personal life eh? ) His reply "You clearly haven't read my profile then"

Yes, yes, because I'm going too drop everything for someone who has 3 aliases on AW one being a female escort and just because you claim you have the stamina of a ox, doesn't make it true! ::) Do these "punters" think we sit all day picking our noses and watch daytime tv and can't wait for the Hercules of sex to come our way, yes I will drop everything and my clients today for a hour session with you  :FF

What makes the 2nd one funny is, he didn't even read MY profile, it clearly states EVERYWHERE to book in advance to avoid disappointment! Grrrr!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Louisereturned on 26 April 2019, 12:09:12 pm
first idiot of the day

“are you nice and tight babe?” (how fucking rude!)

my reply “are you nice and big babe?”

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 26 April 2019, 12:13:03 pm
Quote from: Louisereturned on 26 April 2019, 12:09:12 pm
first idiot of the day

“are you nice and tight babe?” (how fucking rude!)

my reply “are you nice and big babe?”

These are the men who quite probably have never and will never book an escort. I never reply to questions or texts like this. It just encourages them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Louisereturned on 26 April 2019, 12:17:33 pm
I always think comments like that sound so juvenile, like the ones who ask if you squirt/gush!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 26 April 2019, 01:55:45 pm
Quote from: Louisereturned on 26 April 2019, 12:17:33 pm
I always think comments like that sound so juvenile, like the ones who ask if you squirt/gush!
I used to answer rubbish like this with 'Only on a Tuesday/Saturday/Friday' basically whatever day they weren't calling.It generally made them go silent!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: workingmum on 27 April 2019, 02:06:33 pm
Idiot of the day....

Opening line ... I will give you an explosive organism! Can we meet.

I replied why would I want a living thing which will explode?

Idiot .... With my Tongue?

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 27 April 2019, 03:15:42 pm
When I try to make it clear I do not work evenings and weekends owing to personal commitments then they say 'See you Bank Holiday'.  WTF.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 27 April 2019, 08:37:58 pm
Subject: Booking my birthday

Can I make booking for my birthday for 30 mins


Not sure why I need to know it is his birthday (Although I do suspect he is hoping for a birthday bonus discount.) but I'm also supposed to be psychic and know when said birthday is? Or maybe I am being too cynical and he just wants cake.  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 27 April 2019, 09:17:43 pm
Hannaah ~
That's exactly what they're after🙄. I get that with the military here & while yes, I'm very appreciative of all they do, I'm not giving them a damn discount bc I'm not a park & swap *annoyed look*.

Now I WILL say I've gotten a cpl slices of cake 🎂from a better bakery a few times for a cpl regulars when it's been mentioned, & brought it out as a surprise at the end. They were super appreciative & 1 told me it was all anyone had done for his birthday🙁. DK if it was the truth but jeez. If so....ack.😮

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 28 April 2019, 09:08:17 am
They want a birthday special service. I just wish them happy birthday and wait for the next call.
Often budget hunters taking changes its probably their birthday every day!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 29 April 2019, 01:41:43 pm
Email
Hi are you single can we talk about a taboo booking.?

Translated as I can't be bothered to acknowledge your profile info and guidelines. I'm a boundary pusher  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 30 April 2019, 04:27:18 pm
I have to admit that I have a regular who has spent a lot of money over the years and it's his birthday in a couple of weeks and I've decided to give him a free half hour. He always books an hour so if he isn't "popped out" over that time I plan to take him to the hotel bar and buy him a pint.

He gives amazing oral and he's comforted me in the past when I've been heartbroken about a situation at home, so I feel like he deserves a little repayment.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 30 April 2019, 05:40:06 pm
VC ~
Good for you! I'd love to know how he reacts♥️🎂! Tell us here or shoot me a PM, I think that's nice you're doing that.
Ive broken down about my dad to 1 before & felt ok bc his father was in hospice & close to death (as mine was). He was very supportive & actually emailed me when his father passed; I offered with complete sincerity to attend the funeral but it was super out of town, so unfortunately I really couldn't go.
He was so appreciative I offered, but he's a great  guy. All hail Bob🙌🏻. Bob rocks. No, that's not his real name.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 30 April 2019, 07:31:12 pm
Today I had one of those "I might come and see you one of these days" conversations with a man I just know is a time waster.  I didn't let him keep me on the phone for more than a couple of minutes and it was going nowhere so then I asked "so you rang me just to hear my voice then?" He said yes.

I cut him off and blocked his number.

Sometimes they don't even deny they have no intention of booking!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 02 May 2019, 09:51:14 pm
Somebody has just offered me the opportunity to visit him, he said he hasn't got any money but he has got coffee and refreshments if I fancy some fun!!  :o  :o :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 02 May 2019, 09:53:47 pm
Quote from: katrina on 02 May 2019, 09:51:14 pm
Somebody has just offered me the opportunity to visit him, he said he hasn't got any money but he has got coffee and refreshments if I fancy some fun!!  :o  :o :o
hahahaaaa, because all our lives are constantly lacking ‘fun’... omg.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 02 May 2019, 10:14:32 pm
Quote from: EveWithEve on 02 May 2019, 09:53:47 pm
hahahaaaa, because all our lives are constantly lacking ‘fun’... omg.


Yes I suppose I should really be grateful of his kind offer to bring some fun into my life  :D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 02 May 2019, 11:19:06 pm
I've got a new reply to the, 'hi babe', 'ello darlin'

'Yes, I'm great Shorty!

Repeated at the end of every sentance....instant stiffy killer.
You could just use it for any unbeloved caller I guess.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PissedOffPrincess on 06 May 2019, 07:28:32 pm
Two different men in a row

First

Where in xtown  ru

I need to know where u r

I asked did he prefer hotels or apartments

where ru

When would u like to come

where are you

Have you red my profile you know my age and favs

I need to know where u r

What time would you like to book

I need to know where u r

** The town I am in is tiny 10 mins in bad traffic jams gets you in and out, he only needs to know if I am in a hotel or apartment imo until I know has he read my profile

I hung up

2nd one into humiliation

asked for 3 different outfits for me to wear then said he would be here in 20 mins then as im hanging up I hear a shout or 25 if I can make it 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 07 May 2019, 10:41:35 pm
Hello beautiful princess of mine text sent 4am
Best not to reply to that!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 08 May 2019, 10:51:01 am
Here's one I listened to a couple of hours ago.

Caller: Hello I have never done anything like this before so can you tell me how often you have a health check?

I realise people want to be safe and all that but asking a sp that question and the answers received is not proof of anything.

What would you have said?  I was completely taken off guard as have never been asked this in an initial booking enquiry.  No way would I meet someone who is paranoid of catching a deadly disease etc. as they are not client material in my opinion so I did not answer his question. A total stranger who could have been a time waster.  I pretended I had misheard him and asked he repeat the question. I needed a few seconds to think and when he did repeat it I told him I didn't think a booking with me was possible. I politely ended the call. He should have read my profiles which would explain and answer his doubts but again nothing is fullproof it it is only words on a page.

Long term regular clients have never even broached this subject and when I think about it barely any man has brought it up either.

So what would you have replied?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 08 May 2019, 11:53:12 am
Justine I would have replied that although it is quite an offensive question I go regularly etc.  It is a bit of a cheek mind.  The assumption that we must be highly contaminated!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 08 May 2019, 12:12:35 pm
Quote from: Justine on 08 May 2019, 10:51:01 am
Here's one I listened to a couple of hours ago...
...So what would you have replied?
I'd have just hung up!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 08 May 2019, 12:25:25 pm
I usually reply to silly questions like that with a ‘why?’ But have been tempted to reply ‘more often than you, I imagine’.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 08 May 2019, 12:30:28 pm
In reply to my message giving the absolute earliest time I could accommodate: ‘Well just be naked on arrival save the undressing’

Erm, no.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lucie268 on 08 May 2019, 04:01:32 pm
Quote from: Justine on 08 May 2019, 10:51:01 am
Here's one I listened to a couple of hours ago.

Caller: Hello I have never done anything like this before so can you tell me how often you have a health check?

I realise people want to be safe and all that but asking a sp that question and the answers received is not proof of anything.

What would you have said?  I was completely taken off guard as have never been asked this in an initial booking enquiry.  No way would I meet someone who is paranoid of catching a deadly disease etc. as they are not client material in my opinion so I did not answer his question. A total stranger who could have been a time waster.  I pretended I had misheard him and asked he repeat the question. I needed a few seconds to think and when he did repeat it I told him I didn't think a booking with me was possible. I politely ended the call. He should have read my profiles which would explain and answer his doubts but again nothing is fullproof it it is only words on a page.

Long term regular clients have never even broached this subject and when I think about it barely any man has brought it up either.

So what would you have replied?
Wouldn't have bothered. It's up to them to do their research, it's not as if the information isn't freely available on Google. Their sexual health is their own responsibility.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 08 May 2019, 04:35:03 pm
Quote from: Lucie268 on 08 May 2019, 04:01:32 pm
Wouldn't have bothered. It's up to them to do their research, it's not as if the information isn't freely available on Google. Their sexual health is their own responsibility.

Same I would of hang up and instantly blocked. No need to respond to such guys.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 08 May 2019, 06:37:26 pm
Justine ~
Ooooh! *scribbles down* Loving this, a ?? I've not been asked! (or thought of)

This definitely threw me when I read it & we all know how much I hate being caught off guard.
I hope I'd have been quick enough to reply, "I'd have to ask you the same thing? Why don't you bring your most recent test & we can compare notes?"

But I think I'd have done the fish-out-of-water thing. Dammit.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 11 May 2019, 01:43:37 pm
Quote from: Justine on 08 May 2019, 10:51:01 am
Here's one I listened to a couple of hours ago.

Caller: Hello I have never done anything like this before so can you tell me how often you have a health check?

I realise people want to be safe and all that but asking a sp that question and the answers received is not proof of anything.

What would you have said?  I was completely taken off guard as have never been asked this in an initial booking enquiry.  No way would I meet someone who is paranoid of catching a deadly disease etc. as they are not client material in my opinion so I did not answer his question. A total stranger who could have been a time waster.  I pretended I had misheard him and asked he repeat the question. I needed a few seconds to think and when he did repeat it I told him I didn't think a booking with me was possible. I politely ended the call. He should have read my profiles which would explain and answer his doubts but again nothing is fullproof it it is only words on a page.

Long term regular clients have never even broached this subject and when I think about it barely any man has brought it up either.

So what would you have replied?

I would have replied every 6-8 weeks- but I guarantee that any escort you ask will say a similar thing regardless of whether they do or not- just like if you ask someone if they have or have ever had an sti - no one is going to admit that to a stranger?!

These guys don't realise that the majority of us are cleaner than the average woman they might pick up for a one night stand as we have to be so vigilant x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 11 May 2019, 01:54:42 pm
Quote from: Justine on 08 May 2019, 10:51:01 am
Here's one I listened to a couple of hours ago.

Caller: Hello I have never done anything like this before so can you tell me how often you have a health check?



What a dil. I'd reply the same as paranoid requests for guarenteed risk free OWO.

'When's the last time you had a STI check? If within the past 7 days, you must bring all your STI certificates from the hospital to show me. Thank You.'

That shuts them down  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 11 May 2019, 11:08:40 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 11 May 2019, 11:22:49 pm
Bloke rang who started off sounding okay then started waffling about how great I look, how he loves my size, how well he thinks we’re getting on.

I hung up, we weren’t getting on that well.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 12 May 2019, 01:51:00 pm
Hi love , how are you ?

I’m a young guy looking for a good time with somone I can have a laugh with and not make it feel like a transaction if you know what I mean ? I’ve never done this before with a escort. And well you seem my type so I thought I’d give it a shot haha

since the latest girlfriend was really tame and unadventurous just had me thinking and I found this site , now I’ve done some very wild stuff and no doubt you have but my last sub wouldn’t let me a couple of things , Anything else went so I’m pretty confident and experienced when it comes to the quite hardcore and extreme end of the tail.
Online master and sub relationship

I’m after a rough session with the possibility to go harder if you let me , a lot of stuff is tame for me now
? I’m happy to balance it out for us both to enjoy... I know everyone has their own likes and dislikes so I’ve not got set acts I want todo

I need to see if we are on the same page and level first !

Do you have Kik messenger ? Mines ***
No probs if you don’t want to give yours out , just thought you’d might like to see who’s behind the profile and we’ll i don’t want to get caught in this site haha. My phone numbers connected to my business so that’s why I use Kik.

If you need a deposit, I can probably sort that out too

Thanks xx



~
I was wondering if you wanted to work together and improve our skills. I want to get some more experience so that I can give a good service to clients. I have had sex with a lot of girls outside of escorting and girls have always given me compliments, but I have a feeling it is different. I am a black man with an 8 inch penis and I am completely clean. I live in the city centre of ***

 ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay1996 on 12 May 2019, 04:02:58 pm
I got a message yesterday just saying "sex?"

And they wonder why they don't get taken seriously ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 15 May 2019, 12:15:34 pm
£40/15 mins all inclusive?
No. Read profile for info and rates.
Just trying to cut a deal x
And as my profile states I don't accept hagglers, it is rude.
Ok what does 40 get me all I got x
I do not do anything for 40.
Ok.

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 15 May 2019, 01:30:18 pm
Text at 12.05am

‘I want your service. Pls reply here’

 ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jasmine89 on 15 May 2019, 03:28:54 pm
Hello

I see you don’t offer bareback but you do offer swallow. Isn’t that just as dangerous as bareback?
Looking forward to your response

 :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 15 May 2019, 04:07:05 pm
0 feedbacks
Call me we can discuss my booking.
What are your services?
Are you working?
. Is there a course when punters can learn how to treat escorts yet because some seriously need it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 15 May 2019, 10:22:05 pm
Idiot: hey heard you could help me out with a bit of fun x
Me: heard from who?
Idiot: was on a website

 ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 15 May 2019, 10:54:39 pm
Hanaah ~ I had 1 very early in the game ask if I'd do him for free; I imagine we all have & could probably start a spin off thread from this😆!

Don't remember the details as it's been 4 years gone at this point, but something along the lines of I'm broke, i need to see you, you should feel sorry for me, make an exception, blah blah.🙄
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 16 May 2019, 01:20:16 am
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 15 May 2019, 10:54:39 pm
Hanaah ~ I had 1 very early in the game ask if I'd do him for free; I imagine we all have & could probably start a spin off thread from this😆!

Don't remember the details as it's been 4 years gone at this point, but something along the lines of I'm broke, i need to see you, you should feel sorry for me, make an exception, blah blah.🙄
My standard response to these arseholes was that I run a business not a charity.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MaybeBaby on 21 May 2019, 08:39:47 pm
Totally dead for days, then a ton of timewasters, each one more moronic and entitled than the last....

Latest, upon my seeing some of his FB and getting a bad vibe, I still politely reply to his query stating I don’t see new clients after X time.

To get this dickhead response:  No worries miss difficult ;)

Your profile has too much going on, gives my eyes a headache haha

J X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 22 May 2019, 03:02:44 pm
Quote from: MaybeBaby on 21 May 2019, 08:39:47 pm
Totally dead for days, then a ton of timewasters, each one more moronic and entitled than the last....

Latest, upon my seeing some of his FB and getting a bad vibe, I still politely reply to his query stating I don’t see new clients after X time.

To get this dickhead response:  No worries miss difficult ;)

Your profile has too much going on, gives my eyes a headache haha

J X



Then why the f..k did you contact me the first place you swine
You dodged a massive bullet there with that fool.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MaybeBaby on 22 May 2019, 03:49:08 pm
Quote from: DynamiteDoll on 22 May 2019, 03:02:44 pm
Then why the f..k did you contact me the first place you swine
You dodged a massive bullet there with that fool.

Totally what I thought, I mean talk about unnecessary and passive aggressive.

This area is chock-a blocks with morons!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 22 May 2019, 06:01:15 pm
Quote from: MaybeBaby on 21 May 2019, 08:39:47 pm
Totally dead for days, then a ton of timewasters, each one more moronic and entitled than the last....

Latest, upon my seeing some of his FB and getting a bad vibe, I still politely reply to his query stating I don’t see new clients after X time.

To get this dickhead response:  No worries miss difficult ;)

Your profile has too much going on, gives my eyes a headache haha

J X

Today I had an email asking “is it okay if I skunk on you with short notice”.
I assumed it was sort of drug (skunk is weed? Idk) reference so replied “skunk??” (As well as to the rest of the email.)
He can straight back with “okay, miss spelling  ;)”.
.... ugh why does it make me cringe so much
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 23 May 2019, 03:06:35 pm
Skunk or spunk yuk either one  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MaybeBaby on 23 May 2019, 08:13:18 pm
Quote from: EveWithEve on 22 May 2019, 06:01:15 pm
Today I had an email asking “is it okay if I skunk on you with short notice”.
I assumed it was sort of drug (skunk is weed? Idk) reference so replied “skunk??” (As well as to the rest of the email.)
He can straight back with “okay, miss spelling  ;)”.
.... ugh why does it make me cringe so much

It’s both patronising and passive aggressive that could by why 🙄
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: eliteone on 25 May 2019, 12:33:06 pm
First guy texts asking for 2h booking, wants to know my nail color, etc and I can already smell the BS but I stay on course. Tries to push dirty talk,keeps saying he's 1", pakistani and can't "last"long...and doesn't have an email address (yet you seems to know how to text just fine). Blocked.

Some loser calls asking a crapload of questions, including my prices which he then proceeds to ask if I can "go lower", lol, and how many times can he pop in one hour...Click!

Then, someone who claimed to be a 'ladyboy' (who I suspect is the nail guy) texts asking me how he can get into the industry...really? "Sorry, good luck!" Message a transexual, how can I assist you with a vagina, again?

ffs, vivastreet has the most timewasters on the planet. All contacted within minutes. This is why I take deposits because if it were up to them, I'd be sitting on my couch dolled up twiddling my thumbs all day. Waste someone else's time, douche nozzles.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LittleMinx2 on 26 May 2019, 12:10:16 pm
Just had a guy on adult work try to book me, but the catch is he wouldn't be paying up front. Made an excuse that he doesn't get paid till after the meet, so would pay after and later in the evening and leave his work I.D (highly doubt it would be anything he needed or valid). What a load of bollocks. Tried to convince me by saying he would over pay ect. Safe to say I said no.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 27 May 2019, 06:28:03 am
Just had a email from some chancer asking for 20 mins at a lower cost because he's very good in bed and his skills are guaranteed to make me orgasm.luckily he added his number.
Because why wouldn't I call him ?!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 27 May 2019, 10:47:25 pm
Some genius messaged me with:

"Would you do a blow and go for £30" (My minimum appointment is half an hour at £60"

I replied:

"Would you? Get a life!"

I had so many time wasters last week it just wasn't funny...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 27 May 2019, 11:03:04 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 27 May 2019, 10:47:25 pm
Some genius messaged me with:

"Would you do a blow and go for £30" (My minimum appointment is half an hour at £60"

I replied:

"Would you? Get a life!"

I had so many time wasters last week it just wasn't funny...

I’ve had it so many times when they ask for a heavily reduced session and then proceed to call me (a) ‘cheap’ (whore).
Lmfao, love a bit irony bc I’m literally the opposite of cheap ahhaha. Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 06 June 2019, 02:10:44 pm
Text
You do it with young boys .
hard to know if that's a question or accusation
Either way no answer is best answer for that one
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 06 June 2019, 05:21:17 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 06 June 2019, 02:10:44 pm
Text
You do it with young boys .
hard to know if that's a question or accusation
Either way no answer is best answer for that one

I would've repied "What play Operation?". Or "No I do it with young gentlemen, you know as in adults over the age of 18 (or whatever your lower age limit is)"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 06 June 2019, 06:46:59 pm
This one today has tried this before by text and both times got ignored.

Hiya any chance I can come along and see what you look like?

Errrr they all do that sonny AFTER they have made a booking but they are more subtle about it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: eliteone on 06 June 2019, 10:06:12 pm
Asking for a video call or calling my video on what'sapp, repeated. No, Sir, I will not be answering until payment has been sent.. :FF The ad is an escort ad, not, cam. I guess half faced selfies aren't good enough, anymore
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 06 June 2019, 11:31:16 pm
Quote from: Justine on 06 June 2019, 06:46:59 pm
This one today has tried this before by text and both times got ignored.

Hiya any chance I can come along and see what you look like?

Errrr they all do that sonny AFTER they have made a booking but they are more subtle about it.
Pay to view  charges apply  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 07 June 2019, 02:57:08 am
Got a call from Mobile,Alabama today wanting an appointment. Interesting bc I've never been to Alabama, nor placed an ad in that state. He swears he found me on a popular site, which now that I'm thinking of it, I've forgotten to look at to see if I really AM listed there. Urgh.

Had also been to my personal website. No, I won't be in Alabama. If you're ever in Atlanta, let me know. Nice talking to you too. Goodbye.

Cpl hours later he calls back & I think hmmm, that was fast. Surprise! He IS coming to Atlanta next month for a Braves (baseball⚾️) game.

The kicker😡:
"Can I have a picture?"

Gee, Don. There's plenty of pictures on my website.

"I want a GOOD one!"

Oh ho. I see whet you're asking for🙄🙄🙄. *scowls*

Surprisingly I did NOT lose my temper, & merely told him that what was on my website would have to do, bc I didn't send extra photos out. (That's what the GD site is for,  you moron)

And it had gone so well up til then. *heaves a sigh*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 09 June 2019, 01:41:51 pm
This one today
Calls up..is that you in the photos?
Do you do water sports ?
What size is your bust ?
I just did the silent treatment on him
Heard him repeat hello few times .
No point in answering a fool .
He had no intention of booking anyway .
The genuine clients always ask first  can j come and see you and don't ask dumb questions they have already read the profile .


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 09 June 2019, 05:35:24 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 09 June 2019, 01:41:51 pm
This one today
Calls up..is that you in the photos?
Do you do water sports ?
What size is your bust ?
I just did the silent treatment on him
Heard him repeat hello few times .
No point in answering a fool .
He had no intention of booking anyway .
The genuine clients always ask first  can j come and see you and don't ask dumb questions they have already read the profile .

The first question would have me hang up and block. Not even let the idiot reach to rest of the questions.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 16 June 2019, 01:57:42 pm
Calls up whispering
Hello I'm in the bathroom (giggling like a school boy ). My name's Roy what's yours?
..I'm just not in the mood for him
Oh he's bit upset I won't take his calls he's a little  fool so sent a pathetic text  "oh how old are you mum ?" .rejected lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 22 June 2019, 03:38:19 pm
Cock shot then asking for a booking then cancelling in texts for a booking that was not even confirmed  that are in true caller spam !
Can I cum at 11  after 1 text sorry can't make it .I'm astonished because I don't even reply to blocked numbers .maybe it wasn't meant for me some other poor escort
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 22 June 2019, 11:05:57 pm
I currently have an offer on for £20 off half hour gfe.

Idiot- Hi is anal, rimming, cim and watersports included in your offer?

I don't even offer rimming or watersports at all but if I did it certainly wouldn't be in gfe bookings but bdsm ones! (Which is also stated on my bdsm tab that specific services are only offered in bdsm bookings.)

Or maybe I've just been doing the gfe wrong all these years with my personal partners.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 23 June 2019, 09:23:27 am
Hannah
They just can't or don't want to read your preferences so waste your time. :FF
Nothing wrong with your FEW I'm.sure
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cb21 on 23 June 2019, 09:27:19 am
My availability is as clearly advertised as possible. Non the less today on my day off I got this.

"hi are I free today?  What's your Mob?"

My reply

"How would I know if you are free today? My Mob is a Samsung S7."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 23 June 2019, 06:46:30 pm
Quote from: Cb21 on 23 June 2019, 09:27:19 am
My availability is as clearly advertised as possible. Non the less today on my day off I got this.

"hi are I free today?  What's your Mob?"

My reply

"How would I know if you are free today? My Mob is a Samsung S7."

 ;D ;D ;D ;D haahha that is good reply
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 01 July 2019, 09:14:29 pm
Email
Hi I'm sure I've seen you go passed the pub I drink at .
Me .have you visited me before?
He emails back I don't think so .
So how can you possibly recognise me .
 (Feeling uneasy .my face isn't ever on my photos )

Emails  can I come see you tonight?
This was midday .I messaged back I'm not working
Gave me the creeps to be honest .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheQuietOneHA! on 02 July 2019, 07:10:54 am
I would pay you £200 for an outcall.

Looking for you to come over and tell me what to do with my mums dildo and dress me up in her panties and clothes.

😑
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheQuietOneHA! on 02 July 2019, 07:27:38 am
Him: Hello are you available NOW for 2 hours?

Me: I’m sorry I can’t be available without any notice at all and the most I offer is 1 hour.

Him: LOOK I’m the one that wants the service ok. I didn’t mean this second, I meant tonight. I do a minimum of 2 hours because I don’t like people who are boring in bed. It’s ok, I will find an escort who can do 2 hours, go back to sleep.

Me: If you don’t mean now and mean later tonight then you need to say that, words are literal and I can only respond to what you say to me. Try reading profiles in the first place and pick someone suited to you.

Him: Fine, I will leave you to your half hour punters then.

Me: I do 30 mins and 1 hour. I basically do what my profile says I do funnily enough.

Him: It’s really ok. With my looks, I can take my pick.

😂

Me: Then get yourself out there then and get it for free.

Him: I get a lot of attention as it is. It’s really ok, there’s dozens and dozens of women who can do 2 hours.

Me: Exactly so go get one of them.

Him: I do get it for free as well, what makes you think I don’t?

Him: ? ? ? ?

Him: Don’t rush to conclusions, I made roughly 14K this month.

Blocked him and his delusional ass at this point. Should of blocked him long before!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay1996 on 02 July 2019, 10:04:18 am
Can you come to my hotel room and have sex with me whilst my cheating wife is tied up forced to watch us
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheQuietOneHA! on 02 July 2019, 10:23:15 am
I missed a call from someone so messaged apologising for missing their call.

He replied saying he doesn’t do this type of stuff so asked if I would do it for free?

I told him my boyfriend would fuck him for free then blocked him.

Urgh 🤦🏻‍♀️
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 02 July 2019, 03:40:45 pm
He sounded polite and harmless enough but his words were slurring off a bit so  I said, 'you sound a bit drunk'.

Mr Tipsy - Yes, I've had 20 2 pints. :angel:
Me - I'd be a bit foolish to invite a drunk man around to have sex with me wouldn't I?
Mr Tipsy-Why not? I always have sex when I'm drunk. :P
Me - Sorry, but I don't have sex with drunk people.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gatesheadgirl on 03 July 2019, 07:08:14 pm
Received a text
Text= can I cum
Me= OK
Text= can I ask one question please
Me=?
Text= where can I cum
Me= in my blocked senders folder :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 03 July 2019, 07:38:40 pm
Ugh. (Texting)

Him: Hi.

Me: Hello.

Him: Where do you live.

Me: ...

Him: How much does it cost to fuck?

Me: 1 million dollars, you ignorant ass.

It's a holiday week (4th of July), so, unsurprising. Yeesh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 03 July 2019, 08:16:43 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 02 July 2019, 03:40:45 pm
He sounded polite and harmless enough but his words were slurring off a bit so  I said, 'you sound a bit drunk'.

Mr Tipsy - Yes, I've had 20 2 pints. :angel:
Me - I'd be a bit foolish to invite a drunk man around to have sex with me wouldn't I?
Mr Tipsy-Why not? I always have sex when I'm drunk. :P
Me - Sorry, but I don't have sex with drunk people.
He probably come round fall asleep on the  bed incapable of an erection  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 09 July 2019, 03:48:35 pm
Email this morning
Out call
no greeting or request plus the member added a postcode someplace in buckinghamshire


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 09 July 2019, 09:40:08 pm
Email numpty: do you have a big thick bush?

Me: Yes, we have some lovely roses, and a hydrangea that's doing very well.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheQuietOneHA! on 09 July 2019, 10:47:48 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 09 July 2019, 03:48:35 pm
Email this morning
Out call
no greeting or request plus the member added a postcode someplace in buckinghamshire

I get loads of texts and emails like that.

If I’m in a nippy  mood (which is a lot of the time), I will reply saying caveman?

They often send back a confused question mark.

I just text back saying you sound like a fucking caveman barking one word messages at me, away and learn some basic manners and social skills and then maybe we can talk.

But I just block them after that.

Like how difficult is it to say hello? It’s so bloody rude yet they expect to walk into our houses and have sex with us?

The mind boggles how so many of them can’t get the most basic communication right and give us a good vibe giving the nature of the business but it will never change.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 10 July 2019, 06:20:27 am
I dread to imagine what their social skills and manners are like  if I met them in real life .
Very off putting .. their email  texts and voice  is the indicator to me of what's to come !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ann on 10 July 2019, 08:04:58 am
Hello can you do 5 days booking in London I am prepared to pay you 5 million pounds I want somebody who is open-minded when it comes to doing sexual things and I will need photographs and videos I am prepared to give you a 1 million pound deposit once we have spoken on WhatsApp video call and you agree to the terms off my request for services if you are interested please call for further details thank you


 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 10 July 2019, 08:10:36 am
Have they learned to condense what they put as they don't get any replies I wonder?

Either that or they are just rude.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 11 July 2019, 05:21:50 pm
Email
Hi do you remember me I came to see you a year ago and licked your clit
I didn't think there was much point in replying to thst .
 I couldn't remember Mr insignificant  don't know why not !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 11 July 2019, 05:32:08 pm
Ann!!!!
 Aren't you packing up??😆 Whatever are you going to buy with ALL THAT MONEY?!😮 I certainly hope you're planning on flying ME over for a visit! You could retire with 5 million💷(is that the right emoji? *squints*)....

This has to be the PoTD (post of the day)!
🥇🏆🎖
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 11 July 2019, 07:26:45 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 11 July 2019, 05:32:08 pm
Ann!!!!
 Aren't you packing up??😆 Whatever are you going to buy with ALL THAT MONEY?!😮...
Well, shame on you CM (and on you, Ann); I don't get out of bed for less than 10 million... ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheQuietOneHA! on 11 July 2019, 08:42:49 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 11 July 2019, 05:21:50 pm
Email
Hi do you remember me I came to see you a year ago and licked your clit
I didn't think there was much point in replying to thst .
 I couldn't remember Mr insignificant  don't know why not !

I had a client phone me up the other week from a number I didn’t recognise telling me he met me about 18 months ago, said his name and asked if I remember him? When I said I had absolutely no idea who he was, he got irritated and hung up? 🙈
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 11 July 2019, 09:51:10 pm
Quote from: Sophia x on 11 July 2019, 08:42:49 pm
I had a client phone me up the other week from a number I didn’t recognise telling me he met me about 18 months ago, said his name and asked if I remember him? When I said I had absolutely no idea who he was, he got irritated and hung up? 🙈
Oh my gosh how could you not know him lol !!
What planet are these ego trips on !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 12 July 2019, 12:37:03 am
Braziliana ~ I am *obviously* in the wrong damn country😆😆.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 12 July 2019, 01:38:08 am
Text this morning ...

Helmet cheese xxx

WTAF?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 12 July 2019, 07:07:01 am
Speaking of clients remembering us a guy visited me Wed for an hour he said he had seen me in the past.  I didn't remember him but thought I would when I saw him.

I still didn't remember him lol.  I think we see too many!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 12 July 2019, 11:22:14 am
Often the only way I know I've seen a client is if I look at our text history and any notes I've made. It's rare for me to remember faces unless they are very distinctive or it's a regular.

Sometimes a guy will have changed his number and he'll say "Oh I saw you last year in Gatwick" and I'll go "Ohh, I was at the Premier Inn, right?" I'm totally guessing just based on my usual hotel choice.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 12 July 2019, 03:22:50 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 12 July 2019, 12:37:03 am
Braziliana ~ I am *obviously* in the wrong damn country😆😆.
Ha ha!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 12 July 2019, 05:59:17 pm
By AW mail ....

------------------------
Hello, I am looking to make a booking. Are you a strong lady, as I am hoping in our booking if you could attempt to give me a piggyback ride. It's something iv always wanted to experience. If you could do this please let me know. I am 6ft tall and 16 stone. Thank you
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 12 July 2019, 06:17:12 pm
OMG he rung me twice! Thanks for solving the puzzle.
He was ready to 'script' me.
As soon as he says, 'You look s-t :P...', my finger has a mind of it's own and cut the prick off.

He's saved as 'wasterlookstrong'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 12 July 2019, 06:50:38 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 12 July 2019, 05:59:17 pm
By AW mail ....

------------------------
Hello, I am looking to make a booking. Are you a strong lady, as I am hoping in our booking if you could attempt to give me a piggyback ride. It's something iv always wanted to experience. If you could do this please let me know. I am 6ft tall and 16 stone. Thank you

I've had messages from him too. Not sure if he's an actual TW as it's never gone any further than me replying that I can't/won't do it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 12 July 2019, 06:59:48 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 12 July 2019, 05:59:17 pm
By AW mail ....

------------------------
Hello, I am looking to make a booking. Are you a strong lady, as I am hoping in our booking if you could attempt to give me a piggyback ride. It's something iv always wanted to experience. If you could do this please let me know. I am 6ft tall and 16 stone. Thank you

225 pounds!?!?!?😮 He needs to do 1 of those reverse booking thingies🤦🏼‍♀️.

Does he want you to wear a fucking saddle as well? Oh. My. God.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 12 July 2019, 07:16:50 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 12 July 2019, 06:59:48 pm
225 pounds!?!?!?😮 He needs to do 1 of those reverse booking thingies🤦🏼‍♀️.

Does he want you to wear a fucking saddle as well? Oh. My. God.

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 12 July 2019, 07:21:56 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 12 July 2019, 06:50:38 pm
I've had messages from him too. Not sure if he's an actual TW as it's never gone any further than me replying that I can't/won't do it.

He's bee now on AW since 2017... no feedback
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheQuietOneHA! on 12 July 2019, 08:48:59 pm
Quote from: MissBehaving on 12 July 2019, 05:59:17 pm
By AW mail ....

------------------------
Hello, I am looking to make a booking. Are you a strong lady, as I am hoping in our booking if you could attempt to give me a piggyback ride. It's something iv always wanted to experience. If you could do this please let me know. I am 6ft tall and 16 stone. Thank you

Sorry but 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheQuietOneHA! on 14 July 2019, 01:38:19 pm
Got back to someone’s missed call yesterday.

Me: I’m sorry I missed your call, I’m not working today but hope to see you another time. Sophia x

Him: Dick pic 🤦🏻‍♀️

Him: Anal x

Me: Go fuck yourself hun!

Him: Another dick pic only this time it was LIVE!

Him: Spunk bucket 🤦🏻‍♀️

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 14 July 2019, 01:46:03 pm
Cancelled booking after asking to do coke and begging to do anal. :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 14 July 2019, 04:15:00 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 14 July 2019, 01:46:03 pm
Cancelled booking after asking to do coke and begging to do anal. :FF

bit ambitious
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 14 July 2019, 04:51:45 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 14 July 2019, 04:15:00 pm
bit ambitious
Yea considering I don't offer either !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 16 July 2019, 10:41:44 pm
Email 23.00hrs last night
U ready for me babe ?
Me ready to block him.yep  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DaisyDuck on 17 July 2019, 12:39:05 am
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 14 July 2019, 01:46:03 pm
Cancelled booking after asking to do coke and begging to do anal. :FF

Guys don't seem to realise that coke makes them impotent.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 17 July 2019, 06:42:12 am
Or the ones who send you emails saying 'I am very shy and not done this before' ....  You just know they will never get round to it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 17 July 2019, 06:45:49 pm
Quote from: DaisyDuck on 17 July 2019, 12:39:05 am
Guys don't seem to realise that coke makes them impotent.
I had a Sunday special some years ago got hard but couldn't cum at all .nightmare on coke
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Escortx on 20 July 2019, 02:27:46 pm
Can come with coke and viagra I think
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 20 July 2019, 02:31:32 pm
Quote from: Escortx on 20 July 2019, 02:27:46 pm
Can come with coke and viagra I think

I'd want to hire a heart defibrillator if they tried that combo in my yard. ;D
The hospital is 5 minutes away.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ceciliaxxx on 20 July 2019, 11:49:38 pm
Dithering and asking about my home country, cities in this and neighbouring countries then finally asking if I do WS......curtain..... bugger just get to your question or just ask nicely  ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: someonesomewhere on 21 July 2019, 01:01:30 pm
I want to meet you. Love your profile, blah, blah, blah. Dom looking for a sub and you seem to fit my requirements.
A very, very long email that I skimmed and in the middle he mentioned he doesn't pay  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 21 July 2019, 04:30:50 pm
Quote from: someonesomewhere on 21 July 2019, 01:01:30 pm
I want to meet you. Love your profile, blah, blah, blah. Dom looking for a sub and you seem to fit my requirements.
A very, very long email that I skimmed and in the middle he mentioned he doesn't pay  ;D

😮😮ummmm? WTAF? Did he say WHY he doesn't pay?

For shits & giggles I'd had to have kept that convo going just to see what the answer was, holy cow.

Doesn't pay🤦🏼‍♀️. At least he told you upfront.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LisaLeeds on 24 July 2019, 11:32:41 am
Had one idiot claiming to be high profile businessman and linked to me some LinkedIn Profiles

Came across as doing me a massive favor.

Added his number as "moron" and could see a meek looking Indian fellow on his WhatsApp display picture. He got incredible angry when i brought it up.

I just blocked and ignored his number, got no time to waste with these idiots.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 27 July 2019, 04:20:01 pm
Quote from: leeds1 on 24 July 2019, 11:32:41 am
Had one idiot claiming to be high profile businessman and linked to me some LinkedIn Profiles

Came across as doing me a massive favor.

Added his number as "moron" and could see a meek looking Indian fellow on his WhatsApp display picture. He got incredible angry when i brought it up.

I just blocked and ignored his number, got no time to waste with these idiots.
they don't like being caught out or challenged do they
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 27 July 2019, 05:02:20 pm
Phoncall - Do you do sex and blow jobs?

 ::)

I think I'll just ring up the chinese and ask whether they do egg fried rice and prawn crackers  ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheQuietOneHA! on 27 July 2019, 07:41:42 pm
Quote from: Gypsy on 27 July 2019, 05:02:20 pm
Phoncall - Do you do sex and blow jobs?

 ::)

I think I'll just ring up the chinese and ask whether they do egg fried rice and prawn crackers  ::) ::) ::)

I had that and I’m in Glasgow, he phoned me today but he asked me that last time and I just out the phone down cause I couldn’t possibly take someone like that seriously!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 27 July 2019, 07:45:13 pm
All over my profile I'm not available until mid august and that I see men from 30+ years up only.

Subject: available
-----------------------------------------------------------------
hey i'm ryan 26. looking for an older mature women to show me how its really done :p are you available tonight at any point for an incall?xx


But the best parts for me were the "show me how it's done" as my profile focuses heavily on submissive services and older mature woman....I'm 31!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 27 July 2019, 07:57:08 pm
Nitwit - Do you offer snowballing?  :P
Me - Yes, but you have to pay for owo on top of the normal fee
Nitwit - Whatyoumean?  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 27 July 2019, 08:27:45 pm
This one in my mailbox today is on the trail of a vulnerable and naive idiot but it won't be me. Last time this kind of request came in must be at least 4 years ago.

Good afternoon. May I spend an hour or two in your home and do your housework? It will be to a high standard and anything you tell me to do I will do it without question. I wear a black skirt and white maid apron but anything else which you think I may need could you provide please?

I know you usually charge for men visiting you but in this case I would be serving you and cleaning your home and I would not want any sexual services.

 ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 27 July 2019, 08:37:13 pm
But still wants your time for free cleaning!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 27 July 2019, 09:14:55 pm
Quote from: Gypsy on 27 July 2019, 05:02:20 pm
Phoncall - Do you do sex and blow jobs?

 ::)

I think I'll just ring up the chinese and ask whether they do egg fried rice and prawn crackers  ::) ::) ::)
Ya ha ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 28 July 2019, 12:11:42 am
Him Hi hun can I come see you Sunday nudge nudge wink wink
Him I'm bit skint can I pay 10 less for just a 15 min  quickie
To which I've replied if you are skint maybe save your money instead .
Me to me I really do not want this booking  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 28 July 2019, 12:37:45 am
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 28 July 2019, 12:11:42 am
Him Hi hun can I come see you Sunday nudge nudge wink wink
Him I'm bit skint can I pay 10 less for just a 15 min  quickie
To which I've replied if you are skint maybe save your money instead .
Me to me I really do not want this booking  :FF

I am screaming at the vintage Monty Python reference😆😆😆.

And I get this too! "I just got fired last week & only have $100. Can we work something out?"
Shouldn't you, I dunno, pay your electric bill or buy some groceries?🤷🏼‍♀️ WHY spend your *last*🙄$$ on me, you dolt?

I get this ?? more often than I think I should, which tells me they're all taking the piss. My 1st
Brit-ism!! Yay me😁.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 28 July 2019, 07:27:30 pm
Some go head on with the sympathy angle and try milking it for all its worth wanting your pity .it never works a huge turn off ..
Glad I'm not on a date with any of them ..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 28 July 2019, 08:18:27 pm
“Any chance of a cheeky wank this morning cutie ?”
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Charmaine on 28 July 2019, 09:18:09 pm
Don’t know what to make of this  ???

Him :- Hello
Me :- Would you like to make a booking
Him :- No
Me :- why did you message me then ?
Him :- To see if you would reply.

I just found it odd
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 28 July 2019, 09:21:04 pm
Quote from: Charmaine on 28 July 2019, 09:18:09 pm
Don’t know what to make of this  ???

Him :- Hello
Me :- Would you like to make a booking
Him :- No
Me :- why did you message me then ?
Him :- To see if you would reply.

I just found it odd

Something very creepy and unnerving about that tbh. :/ xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Charmaine on 28 July 2019, 09:28:10 pm
Quote from: EveWithEve on 28 July 2019, 09:21:04 pm
Something very creepy and unnerving about that tbh. :/ xx

I have now blocked his number
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 29 July 2019, 03:29:42 pm
Hi just wondered if you had toys indoors and if i finished early i could carry on using them on you?
To which my reply was of course : I keep all my toys in the garden sorry.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 07 August 2019, 09:29:55 am
Todays email
Hi baby your the most beautiful I want to shower you with gifts and cash we must keep it discreet I want you to call me ( luckily ads mobile for me to block as well as his message)
It went on a bit about × 3 please
 in a row can we meet.
0 feedback
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 08 August 2019, 01:06:25 pm
Call from a ‘6’6 welsh rugby player with a 10 inch cock’ who wants an overnight and happy to pay the lot up front.

Sounds far too good to be true, but I’m still hoping it comes off  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 08 August 2019, 11:35:06 pm
Hi baby, I come see you baby, where are you baby?
So, grrr already🙄.
Wants to do a bank transfer.
No, cash I say.
PayPal?
No, cash.
Venmo? CashApp?
NO! CASH!!!!
You don't have to get so upset, he says.🤦🏼‍♀️
Did you not understand me the three times I told you no, I queried?? No answer of course.
Said I'd accept ABC type gift card or XYZ type. He also said he could pay my room costs for a few days(yeah right, til you dispute the charges & I'm stuck with the bill).

Agreed on a G/C, it must be in the original packaging with the receipt, I'll call to check the balance before we start.
No no, I'll pay cash.
30 minutes later he texts back saying he can't do cash & I blocked him.
I'm more annoyed about having wasted 1/2 an hour on him than anything.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 08 August 2019, 11:41:59 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 08 August 2019, 11:35:06 pm
Hi baby, I come see you baby, where are you baby?
So, grrr already🙄.
Wants to do a bank transfer.
No, cash I say.
PayPal?
No, cash.
Venmo? CashApp?
NO! CASH!!!!
You don't have to get so upset, he says.🤦🏼‍♀️
Did you not understand me the three times I told you no, I queried?? No answer of course.
Said I'd accept ABC type gift card or XYZ type. He also said he could pay my room costs for a few days(yeah right, til you dispute the charges & I'm stuck with the bill).

Agreed on a G/C, it must be in the original packaging with the receipt, I'll call to check the balance before we start.
No no, I'll pay cash.
30 minutes later he texts back saying he can't do cash & I blocked him.
I'm more annoyed about having wasted 1/2 an hour on him than anything.
bloody irritating man
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 08 August 2019, 11:55:28 pm
'Hi there. I would like to invite you to a PSE/SLUT type meeting- an hour at my place canary wharf.nice money really depending on how big slut you can be- interested?'  :P  :P  :P. 




Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 09 August 2019, 09:58:53 pm
One caller  this afternoon when i stopped work as it was dead .
i left my work phone on by mistake but my elderly father picked up the phone thinking it was his ..hilarious disaster
Asking who are you do I know you .?😃
I grabbed the phone off him lol
Luckily he didn't say my name not sure what the caller must have thought!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: linglau on 09 August 2019, 11:19:55 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 08 August 2019, 11:55:28 pm
'Hi there. I would like to invite you to a PSE/SLUT type meeting- an hour at my place canary wharf.nice money really depending on how big slut you can be- interested?'  :P  :P  :P.

How could you possibly refuse?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Charmaine on 13 August 2019, 08:03:15 pm
Booking request was fine to start with but it is what he said at the end that I declined to see him

Him . Hello I would like to come and see you for an hour this Friday at 8pm .
Me .   That would suit me just fine . Can I ask what services you would like ?
Him . GFE with DFK please
Me  Yes that would be perfectly okay with me .
Him Do you live alone ?
Me .  Sorry am declining your booking because of my security and I'm blocking you

Maybe am paranoid but gets me worried if I client asks if I am alone
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 13 August 2019, 08:41:52 pm
Quote from: Charmaine on 13 August 2019, 08:03:15 pm
Booking request was fine to start with but it is what he said at the end that I declined to see him

Him Do you live alone ?
Me .  Sorry am declining your booking because of my security and I'm blocking you

Maybe am paranoid but gets me worried if I client asks if I am alone

I’m the same when they ask “are you in a apartment or hotel.”
I instantly worry they’re hoping I’ll say apartment so they’ve a chance to rob or worse.
I know it’s silly and maybe half the time it’s an innocent query (???) but it puts my back up and I cant let myself accept a booking that makes me as anxious as that question.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 13 August 2019, 08:58:57 pm
Quote from: EveWithEve on 13 August 2019, 08:41:52 pm
I’m the same when they ask “are you in a apartment or hotel.”
I instantly worry they’re hoping I’ll say apartment so they’ve a chance to rob or worse.
I know it’s silly and maybe half the time it’s an innocent query (???) but it puts my back up and I cant let myself accept a booking that makes me as anxious as that question.

I've decided the next time that ?? is asked I'm going to answer it this way:
"Why? Are you planning on robbing me? Because the last time a man asked me that, i killed him & ate his liver with some fava beans & a nice Chianti."

Maybe he catches the movie reference, maybe he doesn't, but he'll think twice about asking that again ~ to anyone.😡😡
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 13 August 2019, 09:20:45 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 13 August 2019, 08:58:57 pm
I've decided the next time that ?? is asked I'm going to answer it this way:
"Why? Are you planning on robbing me? Because the last time a man asked me that, i killed him & ate his liver with some fava beans & a nice Chianti."

Maybe he catches the movie reference, maybe he doesn't, but he'll think twice about asking that again ~ to anyone.😡😡

I LOVE, stealing
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 13 August 2019, 09:52:13 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 13 August 2019, 08:58:57 pm
I've decided the next time that ?? is asked I'm going to answer it this way:
"Why? Are you planning on robbing me? Because the last time a man asked me that, i killed him & ate his liver with some fava beans & a nice Chianti." ...
Ya ha ha!
I too will be using this line!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 14 August 2019, 01:23:47 am
Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week *bows*.

These men will not intimidate me, goddamnit. Not happening *scowl*.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 16 August 2019, 08:49:54 am
Hi there

I'm thinking to book you and I wanted to ask you few things.

Do you Deep French Kiss? I enjoy lots of tongue play.

Do you allow Oral With Out Condom (OWO) and Cum in your mouth? Do you swallow?

I also looking to have bareback penetrative sex to completion/ Cum inside your pussy without a condom. Let me know if you are OK with that. Please be assured that I'm clean and regularly tested. And I'm happy to share my results from my local GUM clinic with you.

Few things about me: I'm 42 years old. Mixed race (Japanese/Greek). I have been living in the UK for the past 15 years. My phone number  (on whats app as well)

My apologies for such a long list of questions. I'm clean, respectful and genuine guy. Please let me know which services you are happy to provide and hopefully see you soon.


Clearly states on my profile what I do not offer which of course is what he wants
 

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 16 August 2019, 10:45:24 am
I just read the above post and  ::) ::) but my latest wonderful email sent late last night from someone claiming to be 25 and only signed up to A.W. a few months ago was very short and sweet and to the point I suppose.

Need to screw you

That was it.  Now correct me if I am wrong here but does anyone under the age of 40ish even use the expression screw these days?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: V24 on 16 August 2019, 11:28:30 am
 :FF :FF :FF :FF

Text:

Him:  How much?
Me:  How much is what?  A tin of beans, a pound of cheese?  Give me a clue!
Him:  A massage
Me:   Where did you see my advert?
Him:  Adultwork
Me:  My prices are all on there, clearly displayed next to each service I offer, I'll make it easy for you, it's those numbers next to the £ sign!
Him:  Can't you just tell me?
Me:  Can't you just read?

End of conversation LOL
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 16 August 2019, 02:24:15 pm
*Now doing my Samuel L Jackson voice*

Read, motherfuckers!!! READ!!!

I'm sure there's a quote from Pulp Fiction I could use but nothing comes to mind, lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: V24 on 16 August 2019, 04:09:15 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 16 August 2019, 02:24:15 pm
*Now doing my Samuel L Jackson voice*

Read, motherfuckers!!! READ!!!

I'm sure there's a quote from Pulp Fiction I could use but nothing comes to mind, lol.

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 16 August 2019, 05:09:11 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 16 August 2019, 08:49:54 am
Hi there [...]

I've had that one not once but twice ::).

My stock response is ' I'm spending as much time replying to this as you did reading my profile'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvyambyr on 16 August 2019, 06:11:20 pm
Quote from: V24 on 16 August 2019, 11:28:30 am
:FF :FF :FF :FF

Text:

Him:  How much?
Me:  How much is what?  A tin of beans, a pound of cheese?  Give me a clue!
Him:  A massage
Me:   Where did you see my advert?
Him:  Adultwork
Me:  My prices are all on there, clearly displayed next to each service I offer, I'll make it easy for you, it's those numbers next to the £ sign!
Him:  Can't you just tell me?
Me: Can't you just read?

End of conversation LOL

Love haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 16 August 2019, 07:39:34 pm
Him: your gorgeous! Marry me
Me: is this fantasy role play your after? If so I’m sorry but I don’t provide that service.
Him: I want you for real, my gorgeous little wifie!
Me: blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 16 August 2019, 07:40:47 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 16 August 2019, 02:24:15 pm
*Now doing my Samuel L Jackson voice*

Read, motherfuckers!!! READ!!!
...
Ya ha ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: neutralC on 17 August 2019, 12:06:28 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 27 July 2019, 07:45:13 pm
All over my profile I'm not available until mid august and that I see men from 30+ years up only.

Subject: available
-----------------------------------------------------------------
hey i'm ryan 26. looking for an older mature women to show me how its really done :p are you available tonight at any point for an incall?xx


But the best parts for me were the "show me how it's done" as my profile focuses heavily on submissive services and older mature woman....I'm 31!


Wow. Sorry
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 17 August 2019, 12:52:52 pm
Someone didn't like my profile and put me straight
'You rude tart'

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 17 August 2019, 05:45:29 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 17 August 2019, 12:52:52 pm
Someone didn't like my profile and put me straight
'You rude tart'

 ;D

Bwahahahah! He would positively hate me then *snorts*. Whaddaya have on your ads/site, Salty? Something completely unreasonable like *read my ad before you contact me*?
*tsks at you*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 17 August 2019, 05:49:02 pm
Quote from: TantricTease on 16 August 2019, 07:39:34 pm
Him: your gorgeous! Marry me
Me: is this fantasy role play your after? If so I’m sorry but I don’t provide that service.
Him: I want you for real, my gorgeous little wifie!
Me: blocked.

I get that quite a bit, smh. Trust me, you don't want to see this all this in the morning dude, it's SCARY.

Those are the ones who want to hear about every booking & get creepy about it *shudder*.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 17 August 2019, 10:34:07 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 17 August 2019, 05:45:29 pm
Bwahahahah! He would positively hate me then *snorts*. Whaddaya have on your ads/site, Salty? Something completely unreasonable like *read my ad before you contact me*?
*tsks at you*
Ya ha ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 18 August 2019, 12:31:41 pm
Caller
Can you use a strap on in a domination session on me?
Sure not a problem
I need you to really stick it up my ass will you wear it ?
Not sure why but he started laughing I just put phone down !
Give that one a miss
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 20 August 2019, 07:36:04 pm
Text not long ago:

'Hi Amy. My name is xxx, I am txting because I have seen your adult work profile and I am very interested in a meet with you. I am 32, and ideally looking for an hour of your time this Thursday. Have a day off and want to make the most of it. I have read your profile fully and your likes/dislikes and you sound perfect. What times are you around this Thursday? Anywhere between 12pm-3pm would be ideal if your free then. Look forward to hearing from you'

The top line of my AW page currently reads - in bold capital letters - AWAY AND NOT AVAILABLE THURS 22ND-MON 26TH AUGUST.

But he's 'read it fully' ::).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 20 August 2019, 07:38:11 pm
I am also irrationally angry at the making of 'Adultwork' into two separate words, and that's the second one in a row. Ditto using the word 'meet' as a noun to refer to a booking :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 20 August 2019, 09:51:58 pm
One of these days I will find my own advert on that site called

Adultworld

Lots of men have found me there apparently and they must have a different internet to me.

 :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 21 August 2019, 04:04:24 pm
Quote from: Justine on 20 August 2019, 09:51:58 pm
One of these days I will find my own advert on that site called

Adultworld

Lots of men have found me there apparently and they must have a different internet to me.

 :-\
Haha, the same for me regarding that "Vistastreet" site that so many punters seem to use, haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 22 August 2019, 09:06:41 am
Being called Sweetcheeks  !!   I had this yesterday, text from an unknown.
Hey Sweetcheeks can we meet?

Pointless text!!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 22 August 2019, 01:12:15 pm
When being asked - i want full service :FF then dick head goes on to list things that I don't provide despite claiming to have thoroughly read my profile and enjoys/likes list.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 24 August 2019, 03:28:52 pm
This morning  one  guy booked then proceeded to text
Can i tell you what I love and what I want to do with you?
I text back please tell me when you arrive for your visit.
 Why he didn't tell me mins ago when he was talking oh yes guess what he needed assistance wanking !!
Anyway he never showed at 2pm or called or texted  and he put so much enthusiasm into his chat  :'(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 24 August 2019, 04:06:17 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 24 August 2019, 03:28:52 pm
This morning  one  guy booked then proceeded to text
Can i tell you what I love and what I want to do with you?
I text back please tell me when you arrive for your visit.
 Why he didn't tell me mins ago when he was talking oh yes guess what he needed assistance wanking !!
Anyway he never showed at 2pm or called or texted  and he put so much enthusiasm into his chat  :'(

I would want to know what they were looking for BEFORE they arrive? Otherwise how do you decide whether to accept the booking?

The ones who are very specific/enthusiastic about what they want are usually the timewasters...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 24 August 2019, 04:15:09 pm
In my past experience they love to send excessive messaging and not turn up that's why I asked on the phone before hand had they read my likes and dislikes .he wanted gfe.
He was very over enthusiastic.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 26 August 2019, 04:58:05 pm
Email
Hi babe love your boobs can I fist your pussy?
Didn't reply but oouch at the thought of it  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvyambyr on 08 September 2019, 10:39:44 pm
So I've recently made a profile and waiting to verify.

I've already had 2 bareback requests
And one message so poorly written, I'm cringing

Him: Hye looking to book free hours for some one really great at deepthroat where I can go mouthsex with no hesitation m a asain guy but I to push it there
 
He's just seen I've seen his message and sent another message  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 08 September 2019, 11:13:14 pm
Quote from: redbottoms on 08 September 2019, 10:39:44 pm
So I've recently made a profile and waiting to verify.

I've already had 2 bareback requests
And one message so poorly written, I'm cringing

Him: Hye looking to book free hours for some one really great at deepthroat where I can go mouthsex with no hesitation m a asain guy but I to push it there
 
He's just seen I've seen his message and sent another message  ::)

This is courtesy of SaltySweet (& dang girl, I had to search! I knew it was you tho😆) ~ she answers these types with some hysterical replies. I wasn't able to quote it but I'm C&Ping as best I can:

Random: hey babe you available
Me (Salty) hey shorty wasup
Random: Wats your post babe I wana come over
Me: po po wut chuk
Random: Huh? Do you snif babe
Me: eggs danny Tomas calefar quarm

Salty said she never heard from him again😆😆😆. Weeks later, it's still funny. Anyway, you might think about doing something like that lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 08 September 2019, 11:19:52 pm
Him  Hello I am a very fit and young at heart 72 year old. Do you have a basque?

Me   Yes I have a basque in fact I have more than one

Him   Well I don't like them at all so would not want you to wear one

Me    Oh I see so you ask if I have one but you don't want me to wear one

Him  Yes because the last lady wore one and I am not a fan of them

We then agreed on a booking for the next day (yesterday)

Him   I am calling to let you know I can not make the arrangement as I am really unwell

So the very fit 72 year old is not as fit as he made out.  ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: linglau on 08 September 2019, 11:31:27 pm
Quote from: Justine on 08 September 2019, 11:19:52 pm


So the very fit 72 year old is not as fit as he made out.  ::)

I have regular who 73 and amazed how fit he is. Not go gym, he say just walk 5k every day enough to keep him fit.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 09 September 2019, 01:45:56 am
Quote from: Justine on 08 September 2019, 11:19:52 pm
Him  Hello I am a very fit and young at heart 72 year old. Do you have a basque?

Me   Yes I have a basque in fact I have more than one

Him   Well I don't like them at all so would not want you to wear one

Me    Oh I see so you ask if I have one but you don't want me to wear one

Him  Yes because the last lady wore one and I am not a fan of them

We then agreed on a booking for the next day (yesterday)

Him   I am calling to let you know I can not make the arrangement as I am really unwell

So the very fit 72 year old is not as fit as he made out.  ::)

I'm finding this unreasonably funny & am giggling like a maniac over here, I'm not sure why😆😆.
I think bc he was so very, very specific to ask & make sure you had a basque, then tell you he didn't like them & not to wear 1. I can't even use the excuse of "it's late", bc it's not even 9pm!🤦🏼‍♀️

Well, if you meet, for gods sake don't wear the basque🙄.  *uncontrollable laughing*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 10 September 2019, 12:16:30 am
I got an email at the weekend, and it went like this, guy: “Hiya my name is XXXX, I saw your profile on AW and I’m looking for naughty fun with a special lady although I don’t want an actual relationship and I don’t want a woman who is mechanical and touches me because she wants too and not because she’s paid too”
Me: “Thanks so much for your interest in my profile but it’s Tinder that your looking for hun so get on that  then instead of seeking for a woman on a sex for sale site”, honestly I will always be bamboozled at some of the of clients sheer delusions as to why we have AW profiles! :FF. some guys even think that they pay you a few times and then it’s free, like I ain’t Costa buddy!! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 10 September 2019, 08:39:46 am
A guy named Tom wanted to lick me out and 'flick my clit' as he put it.

I replied that sounds horrific lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 10 September 2019, 11:22:47 am
Quote from: Lushblossom on 10 September 2019, 08:39:46 am
A guy named Tom wanted to lick me out and 'flick my clit' as he put it.

I replied that sounds horrific lol.

Never, ever had a guy named Tom who wasn't a timewaster in some sense  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 10 September 2019, 01:32:14 pm
AW message:
i have the day off and i really dont want to wank, i want to be dommed. your photos are really sexy

Nothing terrible per se, but honestly, this just made me roll my eyes and think, naaa.

Well, I could list the things wrong with this, but I can't expend the energy!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 10 September 2019, 04:34:35 pm
Quote from: Gypsy on 10 September 2019, 11:22:47 am
Never, ever had a guy named Tom who wasn't a timewaster in some sense  ::)
Isn't "Adam" the number one TW moniker (a close second being "Jack")?  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 10 September 2019, 05:10:14 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 10 September 2019, 04:34:35 pm
Isn't "Adam" the number one TW moniker (a close second being "Jack")?  ;D

Mine are usually “Mike” “Steve” and “John”.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 10 September 2019, 09:43:18 pm
Quote from: EveWithEve on 10 September 2019, 05:10:14 pm
Mine are usually “Mike” “Steve” and “John”.
Ah!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 10 September 2019, 09:45:18 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 10 September 2019, 04:34:35 pm
Isn't "Adam" the number one TW moniker (a close second being "Jack")?  ;D

Mine are definitely Tom followed closely by Andy  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 11 September 2019, 02:06:51 am
Jay was always my time wasters names .I just wouldn't take a booking with any caller using that name in the end .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BRose on 12 September 2019, 06:19:43 am
This text exchange almost bleaked me out...

TW: Postcode. Height cm.
Me: Aren't you forgetting something?
TW: what?
Me: Your manners.

Or this one: (1 month after I started)
Mark Poopeater (my name for him):
Hi betty and it was lovely speaking to you. Do you mind if I ask you to do me a big brown poop on a plate every month? This would be wonderful.
Thanks again and hope to see you soon xxx

Me: You can ask, and offer me an incentive as it's not appealing to me in the slightest! (Was curious what the market is for this kind of thing, and no, no way would I do it. Though I had a another guy try to convince me that I could post my number 2s in Tupperware all over the UK for very good money.

MP: May I be your lifetime client and have them as a reliable client that values your poops.
You will find it interesting and enjoyable watching me feast xx thank you

Eeeeeuuuuwww -
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 12 September 2019, 12:34:23 pm
That's the thing though,you wouldn't find it interesting or enjoyable as it is his fetish not yours.Such planks some of these guys! ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 16 September 2019, 02:00:45 pm
Text after call
Oops sorry my wife just walked in
I didn't reply
Following texts
Will come see you after midday
Oh sorry my wife hasn't gone out
Me  please stop texting I'm not interested in your wife or you.
Next call
Hi can I come see you this afternoon but I can only afford the quick service I work part time in pizza hut blah blah
I put phone down .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: baambi123 on 16 September 2019, 08:37:12 pm
Emailed me to book a session, also attached a dick video to the email so my eyes were assaulted. It was a screen shot at the bottom it had L**** Tinder so I knew who he was supposed to send the video to on whatsapp  :FF :FF  - gave him a impolite response to which he sent me a selfie and said "please see me I promise that I am a nice guy and I am good looking".
He swiftly got blocked and reported to Ugly Mugs lol.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 16 September 2019, 10:51:55 pm
Quote from: baambi123 on 16 September 2019, 08:37:12 pm
Emailed me to book a session, also attached a dick video to the email so my eyes were assaulted. It was a screen shot at the bottom it had L**** Tinder so I knew who he was supposed to send the video to on whatsapp  :FF :FF  - gave him a impolite response to which he sent me a selfie and said "please see me I promise that I am a nice guy and I am good looking".
He swiftly got blocked and reported to Ugly Mugs lol.

What did he do to merit the UM report?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosesugar on 17 September 2019, 10:57:22 am
This morning's first call
Hi babe your boobs are big arnt they ?
I can see which way that was going cut it very short.
Of course asking for a booking hours ahead  :FF
Blocked moved on who's next ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lola xxx on 17 September 2019, 12:41:16 pm
‘How much for you to piss on my face for half an hour?’

Sigh. It’s gonna be one of those days methinks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady Frog on 17 September 2019, 05:29:30 pm
Quote from: Sugar xxx on 11 September 2019, 02:06:51 am
Jay was always my time wasters names .I just wouldn't take a booking with any caller using that name in the end .

same here
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 05 October 2019, 12:45:34 pm
Had a text from someone this morning wanting a booking. I asked him to call. So he did and I asked how long he wanted etc. So he said 30 minutes. I told him the price. Then he said let me phone you back.

Five minutes passed and I got a text asking me to do 30 minutes for 40. I ignored. Then he text me to say he was on his way and was this rate okay. He had a general idea of the area. I ignored again. Then he phoned me and i ignored  ::) ::) Then he text to apologise for insulting me and would make sure he had enough next time. NEXT TIME?! Don't think so  :o

I ignored this text too.

Nobody insults me by trying to haggle, they just make themselves look a prize dickhead  ;D Oh and apparently I would enjoy this booking as much as he would.

Some men are just so deluded it's frightening  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Anais on 05 October 2019, 01:39:15 pm
Text message as received:

'I'd like a special session.
Tied to a chair naked,
my mouth used as your
ashtray, my nipples
tortured with with your cigarette
and blindfolded all my hair
shaved off with clippers -
then kick me out sore and
bald x please

The excitement he must have experienced is obvious as the punctuation gets worse.

Any takers?

And this gem. He tried calling but I was busy, luckily! He got my autoresponse.

yes. can I book an
appointment at 3? only one
thing I need to tell you. my
brother comes from China.
he doesn't speak English.
so if you can do it I'll drive
him to you. is it ok?

Speechless.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 08 October 2019, 07:28:24 pm
Text-'Hey babe do you see couples because me and my husband might want to make a booking if he keeps his side of the deal tonight.'

 
???

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 09 October 2019, 12:16:36 am
A guy called me last week, he sounded like he’d be a good laugh and my gut was saying “yes he’s cool”, he wanted a half hour incall booking and he asked if I would wear stockings and a matching underwear set, I said sure no problem, he then asked if I would answer my door wearing only the stockings and underwear and I said that my body and sexy underwear doesn’t get shown until I’m paid and the booking has started, and obviously not in full view of my neighbours door,  :o “fair enough” he said, so I was then about to launch into my usual “I’ll text you my postcode and when your there give me a call and I’ll direct you in” speech, and he then asked “is it okay if I turn up wearing a balaclava and keep it on the whole time”, and I said, rather sternly “eh I don’t think so, I’m not looking to be raped and murdered today, so thanks and goodbye”, he is now saved as Balaclava Man!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 10 October 2019, 07:24:25 am
Quote from: Lady Frog on 17 September 2019, 05:29:30 pm
same here
Same here Jay is my number 1 tw name
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay1996 on 10 October 2019, 02:07:32 pm
Quote from: ParisB on 10 October 2019, 07:24:25 am
Same here Jay is my number 1 tw name

Yes!! I have over 40 "Jays" on my phone. At least 60% aw TWs
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 10 October 2019, 02:39:25 pm
Think it's short for Jaswinder an Indian name.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ParisB on 10 October 2019, 04:00:49 pm
Today I took a booking from yep You guess it 😂Jay who was really nice and it was short for Jason
I did say that he might want to reconsider his user name as it tends to be a top name for the TW which he thought was really funny
However I only took it because he had good feedback from a few ladies that I know
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 14 October 2019, 09:42:57 pm
final bit of arranging an outcall...
Me -You need to book my taxi return journey in advance, (give him simple instructions)
Random -Can't you just jump into a cab?
Me-Why bother asking me? I'm just the escort (bored with him cut him off)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 14 October 2019, 10:14:25 pm
Received a 'If I pay you will you go to a private clinic get tested, get a clean certificate then have bareback with me - I have £xxx are you interested?'

The answer is no, same message sent several times even after a polite 'not something I would do' username has alias so was able to see has sent 1000s of messages in few months the account has been active.

Although I'd never go ahead the amount by the way was not enough to travel the distance to the nearest private centre never mind a booking on top, but that's by the by as they say.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay1996 on 15 October 2019, 03:19:53 pm
I had a msg on AW today....

"I’m a very fit and good looking lad have a look at my pics and let me know how much you would do a night with me for be a fun night drinks laughs"

Me: "Imagine walking into a hairdressers and telling them you want to cut THEIR hair and pay you for it  :D :D I'm not short on cock babe, so im not interested and i doubt any other escort would be" The CHEEK!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 15 October 2019, 03:20:31 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 14 October 2019, 09:42:57 pm
final bit of arranging an outcall...
Me -You need to book my taxi return journey in advance, (give him simple instructions)
Random -Can't you just jump into a cab?
Me-Why bother asking me? I'm just the escort (bored with him cut him off)

I now come to a point of cutting the call and blocking the idiots. As the ones that do want you will comply with the cab rule. I'm same as you. No prepaid return A...Lee cab no appointment booking simple as that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 15 October 2019, 11:45:18 pm
Quote from: Mirror on 14 October 2019, 10:14:25 pm
Received a 'If I pay you will you go to a private clinic get tested, get a clean certificate then have bareback with me - I have £xxx are you interested?'...
Personally, I always automatically trust that guys who make these very respectful and reasonable requests are STI-free and accordingly have no need of STI-screening themselves...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 16 October 2019, 09:13:21 am
Quote from: Braziliana on 15 October 2019, 11:45:18 pm
Personally, I always automatically trust that guys who make these very respectful and reasonable requests are STI-free and accordingly have no need of STI-screening themselves...

Oh yes and of course the certificate is accurate, and I'm not going to have sex with anyone for several weeks prior, then not until I the actual booking.

There's an easy way to solve this, no bareback intercourse.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 16 October 2019, 12:34:06 pm
Quote from: Mirror on 16 October 2019, 09:13:21 am
Oh yes and of course the certificate is accurate, and I'm not going to have sex with anyone for several weeks prior, then not until I the actual booking.
Haha!

Quote from: Mirror on 16 October 2019, 09:13:21 am
There's an easy way to solve this, no bareback intercourse.
Exactly!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 17 October 2019, 12:33:14 am
I don't know why they say certificate when all results are sent via text message.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 17 October 2019, 07:59:20 am
Quote from: DynamiteDoll on 17 October 2019, 12:33:14 am
I don't know why they say certificate when all results are sent via text message.

Perhaps the idiots still think we're at school. Certificate of achievement, or something like that  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 17 October 2019, 08:21:01 am
Quote from: DynamiteDoll on 17 October 2019, 12:33:14 am
I don't know why they say certificate when all results are sent via text message.

I was under the impression some private clinics may offer certificates, don't porn stars require or use them?

I once asked at the NHS GUM they told me they would never issue any document because of the liability and potential for abuse. At most they might write a letter confirming attendance if pushed.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 17 October 2019, 11:31:51 am
Quote from: Gypsy on 17 October 2019, 07:59:20 am
Perhaps the idiots still think we're at school. Certificate of achievement, or something like that  ;D
Ya ha ha!
Somewhere, I still have my Record of Achievement from 1992, haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 17 October 2019, 01:16:25 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 17 October 2019, 11:31:51 am
Ya ha ha!
Somewhere, I still have my Record of Achievement from 1992, haha!

Oh my gosh I kept mine for a long time, I may still have it somewhere.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 18 October 2019, 12:01:16 am
Books you, pays, and moans 'you're very expensive' then demands you exclude most of the services they've just paid for. Like ordering lobster, only eating the parsley garnish and griping at Mr Gordon Ramsay for his prices.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 19 October 2019, 09:36:34 pm
Him: "I have a couple of questions"
 Me: "Hi what questions?"
Him: "Do you have any std's?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 19 October 2019, 09:45:24 pm
What did you say Caly? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 19 October 2019, 09:49:58 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 19 October 2019, 09:45:24 pm
What did you say Caly? ???

“ Which one are you looking for?”  ??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 19 October 2019, 09:54:50 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 19 October 2019, 09:45:24 pm
What did you say Caly? ???
After he had said it was as he's never done this (TW alert), he was told he wouldn't be doing it all (at least not with me). He asked why to which I said "Well weirdly enough we don't tend to want to see people who insult us by basically saying they think we are disease ridden" then told him for future reference  he is more likely to catch something from that hook up in the club or wherever.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 19 October 2019, 09:56:51 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 19 October 2019, 09:45:24 pm
What did you say Caly? ???

Oh and also politely told him if he's worried about that sort of thing then there's these new fangled things that help prevent you catching stuff. I believe they are called condoms
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 19 October 2019, 09:57:25 pm
Quote from: EveWithEve on 19 October 2019, 09:49:58 pm
“ Which one are you looking for?”  ??
😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 20 October 2019, 12:37:31 am
Quote from: Caledonia on 19 October 2019, 09:57:25 pm
😂


Funniest answer ever to that ridiculous question, it’d also be fun to add “if I don’t have what your looking for then give me a couple of days and I’ll do more bareback and then I’ll hopefully be able to accommodate you”😂😂. Laughing out very loud at my own wit!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 20 October 2019, 12:55:27 am
Quote from: EveWithEve on 19 October 2019, 09:49:58 pm
“ Which one are you looking for?”  ??

Haw haw haw!!! *scribbles down* Priceless! Absofuckinglutely priceless!! I'm stealing, you know I am, this goes in the book!!

I'm on the train 🚂home lol-ing out loud😆😆😆.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 20 October 2019, 01:43:51 am
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 20 October 2019, 12:55:27 am
Haw haw haw!!! *scribbles down* Priceless! Absofuckinglutely priceless!! I'm stealing, you know I am, this goes in the book!!

I'm on the train 🚂home lol-ing out loud😆😆😆.

We’ve all stolen this one I think! Best reply ever to such a stupid and offensive question!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 20 October 2019, 10:10:07 am
Quote from: EveWithEve on 19 October 2019, 09:49:58 pm
“ Which one are you looking for?”  ??
Ya ha ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miss_Manc on 21 October 2019, 07:09:13 pm
When I explained that one of the dresses in my profile pics was just something I had tried on..."How much is it?" so I tell him the price.
"Far too expensive for me to buy! But you should buy it because I'll need you to look sexy for me"
Hahhahaha go away mate. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 22 October 2019, 12:01:00 pm
Quote from: Miss_Manc on 21 October 2019, 07:09:13 pm
When I explained that one of the dresses in my profile pics was just something I had tried on... "...you should buy it because I'll need you to look sexy for me"
Hahhahaha go away mate.
You mean...you didn't IMMEDIATELY go and buy the dress just to please a random stranger (who clearly represents the respectful and well-mannered punter that we all like to meet)?  Oh, you fool, MM!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 25 October 2019, 09:46:56 am
Phone whilst checking into a small chain hotel which is keycarded, desk next to the door, asking for a late at night in a quiet 'local' area outcall...........mentioning details including working name, asking cost, asking "When can you get here". I could hear him talking to the receptionist.

I don't have shame but I'd rather not (there were other reasons).

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 25 October 2019, 03:45:44 pm
How much just to lick you out? :FF Block Block Block No reply
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 26 October 2019, 01:06:39 am
1st text:  "location??"

Obviously I don't reply.

2nd text: "price??"

You clearly saw my ads bc you're texting me. The 2 questions you're asking me are fucking IN the damn ad😡.

Blocked. Moving on.🤦🏼‍♀️
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GG on 26 October 2019, 12:08:54 pm
Tw....Is this massage
Me... no this is Gina who offers massage
Tw...Ok u dont need to bother with the massage i just want you to suck my dick
 :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 26 October 2019, 12:27:43 pm
Quote from: Gina G on 26 October 2019, 12:08:54 pm
Tw....Is this massage
Me... no this is Gina who offers massage
Tw...Ok u dont need to bother with the massage i just want you to suck my dick
 :P

Something tells me you and he did not get to meet.  ;D

My own latest annoying contact from someone I have banned and despite his 3 ok bookings he has in between each of them messed me about so much I just got completely fed up with him.

He texts now and then with stupid messages and this morning I just got "Hi"

This from an intelligent and articulate man.  Sad really.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GG on 26 October 2019, 12:38:51 pm
I hate the 'hi' texts  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 26 October 2019, 12:58:00 pm
Quote from: Gina G on 26 October 2019, 12:38:51 pm
I hate the 'hi' texts  :FF

Me too and I never ever ever respond. Even if it is a regular client!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ceciliaxxx on 26 October 2019, 06:46:45 pm
Can we second that, though if in a good cheek mood I reply. Lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tlorb on 27 October 2019, 11:09:49 pm
I had a very odd one today.

Man tells me he wants a 2 day booking. I go over price etc and he says “I’ll think about it”

He then messaged me about 3 hours later telling me his turn on is having a full blown affair and if I’d be interested.

Weirdo
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Georgie on 28 October 2019, 11:28:44 am
Quote from: Justine on 26 October 2019, 12:58:00 pm
Me too and I never ever ever respond. Even if it is a regular client!

Same here. Although I sometimes find it hard to resist replying with ‘Lo’ as I read here once.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 28 October 2019, 12:24:40 pm
'U free'

Sometimes I reply 'y'

then they go '?'

it's the one letter text competition
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: China_Grl on 29 October 2019, 10:38:49 am
Question " can you send me a face picture with you holding a piece of paper with today's date on. so I know you are real"

  ::)

reply: you first plus a scan of your drivers license


 ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 29 October 2019, 11:02:27 am
Quote from: China_Grl on 29 October 2019, 10:38:49 am
Question " can you send me a face picture with you holding a piece of paper with today's date on. so I know you are real"
He must think he works for adultwork!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: China_Grl on 29 October 2019, 11:06:59 am
Quote from: Braziliana on 29 October 2019, 11:02:27 am
He must think he works for adultwork!


lol  ;D

or trying to to create a fake profile
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: China_Grl on 30 October 2019, 07:10:07 am
one from yesterday.

The classic fake virgin punter  :-\

Yes please it's so scary and exciting but I want to do it. Can we discuss more and arrange a meeting on WhatsApp?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jasmine89 on 30 October 2019, 12:16:24 pm
Text
“ You look too nice to be an escort”
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 30 October 2019, 06:11:42 pm
Another poem....sure it's the same clown I blocked for a poem on same subject a few months ago.  ::)


Subject:    Hey There

Hey there, How are you today?
What do I want I hear you say?
Read my message if you have the time
I write a lot so thought I’d send you something that will rhyme

Im mid thirties, dark hair and like to run
Over the last ten years sex is something I’ve had for fun
However I’ve spent a lot time hiding my little secret
Something I haven’t told to the many women I met

I once had a girlfriend who was a very mean person to meet
She liked to spend her days using me as her seat
Under her arse my face would slowly start to get sore
She would often laugh and make me take more

She would stay there for hours and make me eat her out
It didn’t seem to matter if I was to scream and shout
She’d cum hard all over my face
I used to think that would make her leave her place

Instead she’s sit there for at least another hour
I think what she enjoyed was the power
Her arse pressing down on my cheek
She must have been able to feel me getting weak

She was clever enough to always let me breathe
But she’d sit there for so long you wouldn’t believe
She wasn’t a big girl but she’d squash me flat
I was her chair and that was that

After about fours hours she would stand
I didn’t have the energy to move my hand
This brings me onto what I’m looking for my dear
A woman who’s ass can bring me fear

Whenever I’ve asked for it on here I’ve been shouted at
Accused of being a fantasist and that is that
However I’m very serious when I say
I want you to sit on me all day

It doesn’t matter if you’re size 6 to 26
Size Is not what will give me my fix
The secret is sitting on me without giving a shit
Slowly squashing me as if I’m a zit

Apologies for last silly line
With an ass like that I’m hoping you’re mine
Lets block out a full day
For you to sit on my face and make me pay

My poor face may not be able to take it
However I don’t want you to give a shit
Sit, bounce, jump, grind and crush
Its not your problem if my face turns to mush
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Curvyambyr on 31 October 2019, 09:33:47 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 31 October 2019, 10:16:07 pm
Not sure if this goes here or under "They said what?", putting it in both.

I finally got the classic, "When I'm fucking my girlfriend I'm thinking of YOU."

Ummm...thanks🤷🏼‍♀️? I'm so rarely at a loss for words & I was with this. Yeeeeessh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ann on 01 November 2019, 03:28:36 pm
Quote from: Houdini Heaux on 31 October 2019, 09:33:47 pm
Green light on today as I'm off work from my civvy job

1 message offering me £250 to make a video that'll apparently go viral on YouTube

1 from an individual who "owns a small amateur porn company" and is recruiting for it

And 1 lovely gent who apparently works in a hotel in Paddington, offered me a room for the night in exchange for 30 minutes of my time

This is why my green light is usually off  :FF

That reminds me this one:
Hi will you give me a handjob whilst i post a video viral of some twat guy i don't like for £200? The video is already on youtube and hes jacking off, i want you to post it viral on fb it is a genuine request.m x

Tbh it doesn’t make sense so I have decided to ignore
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 03 November 2019, 07:41:37 pm
Quote from: Ann on 01 November 2019, 03:28:36 pm
That reminds me this one:
Hi will you give me a handjob whilst i post a video viral of some twat guy i don't like for £200? The video is already on youtube and hes jacking off, i want you to post it viral on fb it is a genuine request.m x

Tbh it doesn’t make sense so I have decided to ignore

This fucking stupid idiot contacted me about this too, think it was in Bham and he was prepared to travel from London or somewhere similar  ??? As if a video of some random having a wank is going to 'go viral on facebook'  :D ::) ??? ??? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 05 November 2019, 06:58:16 pm
Sounds hugely confident,  lawyerish and educated

Random- I'd like to see you now.
Me- what time?
Random- now
Me- Do you actually mean now as in 1 second or 30 seconds?
Random- Yes
Me- not possible
Random- I don't understand,  >:( >:( >:( I'm her now! :(
Me- I can't see you in 30 seconds
Random- So your not free
Me- That isn't what I said
Random- I mean how long do you need 15 minutes 30 minutes?
Me-That isn't what you asked for
Random- This isn't going to work  >:(

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 05 November 2019, 07:00:24 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 05 November 2019, 06:58:16 pm
Sounds hugely confident,  lawyerish and educated

Random- I'd like to see you now.
Me- what time?
Random- now
Me- Do you actually mean now as in 1 second or 30 seconds?
Random- Yes
Me- not possible
Random- I don't understand >:( >:( >:( I'm her now! :(
Me- I can't see you in 30 seconds
Random- So your not free
Me- That isn't what I said
Random- I mean how long do you need 15 minutes 30 minutes?
Me-That isn't what you asked for
Random- This isn't going to work  >:(

Might start answering phone calls - it seems like it’s free comedy content all the way ..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 05 November 2019, 07:02:30 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 06 November 2019, 12:41:22 am
Hahahahaha I do this too!
"Can I see you now?"
"Are you outside my hotel? That'd be pretty amazing since I haven't told you where I am...?"
"Well, no."
"So, you don't want to see me now? What's your idea of now, then? You really need to be more specific."
Heh heh.😈😈
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 06 November 2019, 02:19:13 pm
Without any prior contact, put in an AW booking for a 10 hour out-call to another city - for 300 quid and last July!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 06 November 2019, 08:05:35 pm
A client I saw several times until last year when he started to mess me around with asking am I free then not following it up (you know the kind of thing I mean) was finally put out to pasture by me. I just couldn't be bothered with his games any more.

Yesterday he tried a new angle.

Thought I would text you to ask will you do x,y,z as I have booked another escort for these things but you are the best and if you tell me how you would do the booking I will cancel her and book you instead.

The x,y,z services were taboo and not things I am prepared to do and he knew this.

He just wanted wank texts and my response?  A big fat ignore.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: QueenB on 07 November 2019, 02:42:31 pm
I had have a few that think they are "special". One recent one was from a guy who no had seen once before who text me asking how I was? As I had seen him before and thinking a reply would result in a booking replied fine thanks did you want to book today?  To which he responded with that he was horny but had no money and could he come around to give me a massage??  :FF

Instant block then another recent one I'd also seen before booked by text then subsequently went on to say he was short by £20 . I told him if his employer asked of he could pay him less wages that month would he accept it? Before he could reply I blocked him too  :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 07 November 2019, 03:46:09 pm
I accidentally opened this thread on page 1 and started to read- nothing has changed! I didn't realise I was reading 2009 for ages!

However, I have removed my phone number from AW, my website and any advertising when I can, instructing potential clients I need at least 24 hours notice and a nice email introducing themselves in advance. I've also stopped paying for the local escorts listing on Aw.

The silence of my phone is utter bliss! No idiots calling at all hours and no R U free hun? texts! I'm doing the same number of bookings without all the annoyance!

This works for me and how I work now, I don't expect it to work for everyone's required volume of work and I expect I have jinxed myself and will now received an inbox full of nonsense, haggling and weirdness!

That said, before I did this I had a client idiot before I did this who originally booked an outcall at a hotel near me but his plans changed and was staying somewhere else and  wanted me to go to somewhere about 90 mins away by car (I don't drive) but wasn't willing to pay for my cab or extra time to include the 3 hours of travel he was expecting! He was totally surprised I wanted to charge him more and that this wouldn't be a huge inconvenience to me! Then kept ringing and ringing and texting to whinge how horny and disappointed he was...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ann on 25 November 2019, 04:34:06 pm
Subject: Van service please read
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Alright I'm a shy guy 32 years old looking to earn some extra money just like you but using my van, I was thinking maybe you could offer a van service to get more clients earn more money an the same time earn me a lil extra money by using the back of my van for outcalls/ dogging if you know what I mean, I could pick you up and drive to the location an drop you back no problem it's just a idea I think could get u more customers an earn both me and you extra money?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 25 November 2019, 08:09:21 pm
Quote from: Ann on 25 November 2019, 04:34:06 pm
Subject: Van service please read
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Alright I'm a shy guy 32 years old looking to earn some extra money just like you but using my van, I was thinking maybe you could offer a van service to get more clients earn more money an the same time earn me a lil extra money by using the back of my van for outcalls/ dogging if you know what I mean, I could pick you up and drive to the location an drop you back no problem it's just a idea I think could get u more customers an earn both me and you extra money?

Ann, you could actually have a lot of fun with this if you're bored, lol.

"Sure! Now, are you wanting to watch? Bc that'll be an extra charge ~ from you to me naturally...then if you wanted to join in there'd be an additional extra donation & let's see, hmmmm. Have to make sure the client's ok with all this & hey! Got some friends? Maybe they'd want to watch/join! That's a thousand bucks per! Gee, I'm kind of liking this idea of yours, we could call it....Whores With Doors! Rolling Dollies...Don't Come Knocking if This Van's A Rocking!!! Doesn't sound like you'll be earning much, but I'm loving it! Call me!"

Of course this would be the 1 nutjob who'd agree to everything but hey, hopefully I made everyone laugh🤷🏼‍♀️.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: NortheastGirl on 26 November 2019, 04:20:46 pm
Idiot (by text)
Owo cim
Right now
Are you available

Me: block
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: jasmine89 on 26 November 2019, 06:23:27 pm
Text: Can you deduct my taxi cost from your hour rate. I want to see you but it’s raining so I don’t want to walk!  :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 26 November 2019, 07:17:33 pm
Quote from: jasmine89 on 26 November 2019, 06:23:27 pm
Text: Can you deduct my taxi cost from your hour rate. I want to see you but it’s raining so I don’t want to walk!  :FF :FF

Og gosh what a Div :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Glamescort on 26 November 2019, 10:04:25 pm
Had a man ask me to pick him up to bring him to mine. I refused politely, he then replied back saying he asked because he was disabled and how it was discrimination. Blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 26 November 2019, 11:03:24 pm
My friend and I had the van one!

I replied with "No thanks lovely I make more than enough money without having to step outside my own front door"

And she was slightly more forthright and replied with "Apart from it being illegal you fucking moron, instead of making money from hard working women, why don't you get a job! Living off immoral earnings and being a pimp bitch is prob not your calling in life!"



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 11 December 2019, 07:26:36 pm
He texts for a pushy combo of services. I explain £X for the hour.
Then he asks how much for 30 minutes, with various add-ons he's weazled into the service.
I say 'half of £X'. And I put the phone down, bored with him.

He texts me-
'Your attitude is terrible  :( you will not be getting my indignant prick business.' >:(  >:(  >:(


That's a relief.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 11 December 2019, 08:12:28 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 11 December 2019, 07:26:36 pm
He texts for a pushy combo of services. I explain £X for the hour.
Then he asks how much for 30 minutes, with various add-ons he's weazled into the service.
I say 'half of £X'. And I put the phone down, bored with him.

He texts me-
'Your attitude is terrible  :( you will not be getting my indignant prick business.' >:(  >:(  >:(


That's a relief.

Hahaha. I have similar text exchanges. To which I reply either in a similar way to that or I don’t reply at all ...
I get “oh great customer service ..” sarcastically.
Hahah... to think the idiots thought they were my ‘customer’ .. lol. Never m8, never.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 14 December 2019, 12:18:54 am
Today, nearly midnight, he wants me to slap his face, spit on him, pee on him, oral on me. Actually, I quite like that combo.
When I tell him the fee he says-

'Why so much?  :(
'It's a specilised service'
'Fucking hell! :( it's not so specilised is it?...thanks but no thanks' >:(


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 14 December 2019, 12:48:48 am
Quote from: saltysweet on 14 December 2019, 12:18:54 am
Today, nearly midnight, he wants me to slap his face, spit on him, pee on him, oral on me. Actually, I quite like that combo.
When I tell him the fee he says-

'Why so much?  :(
'It's a specilised service'
'Fucking hell! :( it's not so specilised is it?...thanks but no thanks' >:(

Haha! That's the same reaction I get with The Oedipal RP I offer; it's a lot more than regular RP bc 1) it's disgusting AF but I'm funding my retirement sooooo🤷🏼‍♀️, & 2)I don't want to do it so I charge more, the end. Plus it really helps weed out the TWs for it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 14 December 2019, 02:26:52 am
Of course we charge more for this stuff ;D
And I was prepped to walk 30 minutes to my flat in the rain and dark with a full bladder!
I would have enjoyed giving him a good bitch slapping just for that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 14 December 2019, 08:42:16 pm
Quote from: antebellum on 31 October 2019, 09:33:47 pm
1 message offering me £250 to make a video that'll apparently go viral on YouTube

Yep I got that today.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 21 December 2019, 10:52:54 am
HIM: “Are my 10 inches ok for you?”
ME:  “Sorry, no, as I might accidentally step on you (if that’s how tall you are)...

*
HIM: "Hello.  Are you busty?"
ME:  "No.  I am louise."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 21 December 2019, 03:12:34 pm
male unit - What's the price for physical sex?
me - What other type of sex is there?
male unit- I dunno  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay1996 on 04 January 2020, 07:51:42 pm
*Calls an arranges a half hour meet (£90)*

Straight after call, texts:

Knobhead - Are you happy with £60 for 69?
Me - Excuse me?
Knobhead - I'll take that as a no
Me - Its £90 if you want more than just a blowjob
Knobhead - Just checking before I left. The main thing I want to do is oral on you
Me - Are you confirming or canceling?
Knobhead - I only have £60. Can you sort me a deal? 32 year old guy
Me - Not sure what age has to do with it? I'm sure there are plenty of escorts within your budget range. Have a great weekend.
Knobhead - Sorry hun. I didn't mean to offend. Saw that you were part Cuban and had to message as I love the place. I love Varadero. Been there many times. If I change my mind in the next 10 minutes I'll call you as I'd LOVE to go down on you.

You literally cant make this shit up

 :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 04 January 2020, 08:18:01 pm
Quote from: Kay1996 on 04 January 2020, 07:51:42 pm
*Calls an arranges a half hour meet (£90)*

Straight after call, texts:

Knobhead - Are you happy with £60 for 69?
Me - Excuse me?
Knobhead - I'll take that as a no
Me - Its £90 if you want more than just a blowjob
Knobhead - Just checking before I left. The main thing I want to do is oral on you
Me - Are you confirming or canceling?
Knobhead - I only have £60. Can you sort me a deal? 32 year old guy
Me - Not sure what age has to do with it? I'm sure there are plenty of escorts within your budget range. Have a great weekend.
Knobhead - Sorry hun. I didn't mean to offend. Saw that you were part Cuban and had to message as I love the place. I love Varadero. Been there many times. If I change my mind in the next 10 minutes I'll call you as I'd LOVE to go down on you.

You literally cant make this shit up

 :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF

*carefully tries to put this jigsaw puzzle together*
Honestly, I read this like 4x trying to figure it out. Oh wait, I can't bc it doesn't make any GD sense!!!
(I also thought he meant 60 pounds for 69 minutes, for about 2 seconds. I'm thinking well gee....that's....specific. Derp me.😂😂)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ann on 04 January 2020, 10:51:25 pm
I don’t do 15mins and my last appoitment is at 7pm. Received lovely email on NYE! Looks like someone wanted to celebrate with an escort  ;D

Hi
Ian, 50, white British
11.30pm this evening
15 minutes
Bareback please.

How much please?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 05 January 2020, 10:08:51 pm
Short phone call.

Dick head: Are you available tonight for outcall
Me: Yes. Did you read my details in full.
Dick head: Yes I did. I am in H..Throw
Me: Fine you know minimum booking is 2 hours and only attend hotel visits for airport meets
Dick Head: Yes. I don't have a hotel can you book one for me
Me: CLICK so fast ended call and blocked and as always save as cunt  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 09 January 2020, 11:13:59 am
When I send a reply to a missed call (was in a booking) they then reply 'Which one are you' I explain in my response then they say 'Send pics'.

Timewasting.  We run our profile pics for a reason not to go passing them on privately to all and sundry.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 09 January 2020, 12:16:26 pm
Both on the same day...

Me- Hello how can I help you ;D
A bloke- Are you free
Me- What day and what time? ;D
A bloke- I guess that's a 'no' then :(



Bananahead-I'd like to make a booking
Me- Where are you?
Bananahead-Close by
Me- Where?
Bananahead-Heathrow
Me- That's over an hour away not close
Bananahead- It is to me
Me- It isn't to me
Bananahead-I think it's relatively close
......blah repeat blah I expect him to laugh and say its a windup....
Bananahead-Is it in the congestion zone because I don't want to pay that?
Me-Your paying a three figure sum how come the congestion charge is an issue?
Bananahead-Would you want to pay £12.50 if you can avoid it?
Me-Not if I was going to have a good fuck at the end of it.
Bananahead- congestion is a lot of money and I've got to register the car for it
Me-Why don't you walk to one of your local whores ? Then you can save your money?
Bananahead- (Pause) ...Because you sound English

Turns into enlightening lecture on greater London car policy so booking denied.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 09 January 2020, 12:19:13 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 09 January 2020, 12:16:26 pm
Me- Hello how can I help you ;D
A bloke- Are you free
Me- What day and what time? ;D
A bloke- I guess that's a 'no' then :(

Wtf?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 09 January 2020, 07:15:36 pm
*googles congestion zones & London car policies bc naturally I'm clueless, being stateside.*

And who the hell is going to fuss about 12 pounds sterling? That's just STUPID.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 10 January 2020, 12:03:34 pm
Hi Darling can I come and lick your beautiful pussy?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 10 January 2020, 04:59:21 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 09 January 2020, 07:15:36 pm
*googles congestion zones & London car policies bc naturally I'm clueless, being stateside.*

And who the hell is going to fuss about 12 pounds sterling? That's just STUPID.
I used to have the odd guy asking if there was free parking near me in Leeds City Centre...a rather stupid question if you know anything about most city centres in Britian let alone the world, I presume. When I told them no, they would ask how much it was and when I told them roughly £2.50 for an hour they would decide to not bother booking!I used to laugh and say "So, you want to pay £100 for a fuck but you can't find £2.50 for parking?" And hang up laughing! ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverpoolgal123 on 14 January 2020, 05:14:53 pm
This was hard to say no too but I just managed  ::)

Coke head - are you available today
Me - I am love, but not till after 4.30 now
Coke head - lovely, I’ve got a couple of requests, I want sloppy french kissing and leather outfits x I want a long booking and can I bring some drinks and cocaine with me x
Me — ah no sorry, I don’t see anyone who’s been drinking Or taken anything
Coke head - you sure darling, I’ve got £1400 here for you

After checking him on the app seen he has a warning against him for being on drugs and refusing to pay
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cb21 on 14 January 2020, 10:39:16 pm
Quote from: Liverpoolgal123 on 14 January 2020, 05:14:53 pm
This was hard to say no too but I just managed  ::)

Coke head - are you available today
Me - I am love, but not till after 4.30 now
Coke head - lovely, I’ve got a couple of requests, I want sloppy french kissing and leather outfits x I want a long booking and can I bring some drinks and cocaine with me x
Me — ah no sorry, I don’t see anyone who’s been drinking Or taken anything
Coke head - you sure darling, I’ve got £1400 here for you

After checking him on the app seen he has a warning against him for being on drugs and refusing to pay

What app?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 15 January 2020, 06:45:12 pm
Quote from: Cb21 on 14 January 2020, 10:39:16 pm
What app?


ClientEye I’m guessing
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 15 January 2020, 07:09:14 pm
I try to avoid giving straight answers to rude, bossy guys. Instead i pump them.for information.for my market research.

Bumwipe- Where are you?
Me- Where are you?
Bumwipe- Why?
Me- I'll give you directions
Bumwipe- LOOK!.... ALL I WANT FROM YOU is where you ARE >:(
Me- c l i c k

Said with all the charm of a guy who's been poked in the ribs while standing in a crowded pub and dropped his tray of drinks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MWinter on 15 January 2020, 07:20:23 pm
I had a new one today!

Client - I have just checked and the train tickets are £65 from my hometown to yours. Can I have a discount over the two hours?

Me -  :FF :o No repsone lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 15 January 2020, 07:38:53 pm
Quote from: MWinter on 15 January 2020, 07:20:23 pm
I had a new one today!

Client - I have just checked and the train tickets are £65 from my hometown to yours. Can I have a discount over the two hours?

Me -  :FF :o No repsone lol

Of course the correct response would've been, "Who's putting a gun barrel to your head for you to come 2 hours to see me? Find someone closer, you knob."

Why do they think they deserve a discount? *scowl* It's their goddamn idea to come see you in the 1st place (I'm pretty sure you didn't go thru the phone book & pick him out at random. Maybe you did🤷🏼‍♀️).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MWinter on 16 January 2020, 06:42:00 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 15 January 2020, 07:38:53 pm
Of course the correct response would've been, "Who's putting a gun barrel to your head for you to come 2 hours to see me? Find someone closer, you knob."

Why do they think they deserve a discount? *scowl* It's their goddamn idea to come see you in the 1st place (I'm pretty sure you didn't go thru the phone book & pick him out at random. Maybe you did🤷🏼‍♀️).

Hahaha I know right! I also just had someone texting me begging me to lower my rates as he would show me a good time. And no way would he ever pay an escort my rates unless he was getting unlimited anal and cream pies! What a Gent! Why do they think I am desperate for their bookings? I really do not care lol (To an extent)  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MWinter on 16 January 2020, 06:45:20 pm
I have also got one current stalker who I saw a couple of years back, blocked and suddenly he is reappearing..

Just like magic!

And apparently, if I start seeing him every week I will no longer need to escort

 ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 17 January 2020, 01:56:34 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 15 January 2020, 07:38:53 pm
Of course the correct response would've been, "Who's putting a gun barrel to your head for you to come 2 hours to see me? Find someone closer, you knob."...
Yeah, and he may just be bullshitting about where he is and how much it will cost him to reach the lady anyway!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 17 January 2020, 01:58:22 pm
Quote from: GG on 10 January 2020, 12:03:34 pm
Hi Darling can I come and lick your beautiful pussy?
"Sure, and hey, I will pay YOU for the very great honour!"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Philipa on 17 January 2020, 09:45:00 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 17 January 2020, 01:58:22 pm
"Sure, and hey, I will pay YOU for the very great honour!"
Haha  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverpoolgal123 on 19 January 2020, 07:26:46 pm
Quote from: Cb21 on 14 January 2020, 10:39:16 pm
What app?
Yes sorry clienteye, wasn’t sure I could name it x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Egirl88 on 20 January 2020, 11:18:45 am
Just had this today.

Him -  hiya baby, can I come c u? i have no cash...i can give u a good quality watch worth £250 for 45 mins xxx
Me- no response
Him- how much baby ….i got £30 xx

 ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: matcha on 20 January 2020, 06:26:56 pm
"Are you Chinese?"

...says the guy who texted earlier that he wanted to see me because of my blonde hair and white skin  ???

Not to mention, my nationality is clearly stated at the top of my profile but obviously that would only count for something if they actually bothered to read it  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 20 January 2020, 07:49:08 pm
AW man of two words- Available now
Me- Are you, thanks I don't need anything
AW man of two words - (thumbs up emoji)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 21 January 2020, 04:29:39 pm
Quote from: matcha on 20 January 2020, 06:26:56 pm
"Are you Chinese?"

...says the guy who texted earlier that he wanted to see me because of my blonde hair and white skin  ???

Not to mention, my nationality is clearly stated at the top of my profile but obviously that would only count for something if they actually bothered to read it  :FF

I get the same - Are you realy Black

Last time I checked yes (In my head)

I cut the call and block. I don't respond answer.

Clearly my pictures show I am a black female and my profile name has word Ebony in it.

There are some thick men in this world. :FF ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 21 January 2020, 06:08:52 pm
Quote from: matcha on 20 January 2020, 06:26:56 pm
"Are you Chinese?"

Me too..!!! last week. Totally not Chinese. I haz been misraced.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jackiela on 24 January 2020, 07:08:45 pm
Got this one this evening hey babe I am a big guy so before I make an appointment can I send a picture of my dick to you and then you can decide 😂😂it’s like I am so desperate or he thought I would get excited didn’t even answer.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 24 January 2020, 08:52:29 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 20 January 2020, 07:49:08 pm
AW man of two words- Available now
Me- Are you, thanks I don't need anything
AW man of two words - (thumbs up emoji)
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BethElizabeth on 26 January 2020, 02:48:44 pm
WTF!

By text:

Him: Hi, will you do 2 hours for 80?

Me: Hi there, no, my 2 hour fee is ___

Him: You are a burnt Australian! Your country is on fire, I bet as soon as I put my dick in you it would burn and it would look like a black burnt sausage at a barbecue on Bondi Beach! All shrivelled and yuck. I clearly dodged a bullet and God is angry at your country so he is burning everything!!!

I didn't reply to that and then 25 minutes later he texts:

'If I make a booking will you dress as Steve Irwin?'

Hahahahaahha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 26 January 2020, 06:45:31 pm
Quote from: betheliz on 26 January 2020, 02:48:44 pm
WTF!

By text:

Him: Hi, will you do 2 hours for 80?

Me: Hi there, no, my 2 hour fee is ___

Him: You are a burnt Australian! Your country is on fire, I bet as soon as I put my dick in you it would burn and it would look like a black burnt sausage at a barbecue on Bondi Beach! All shrivelled and yuck. I clearly dodged a bullet and God is angry at your country so he is burning everything!!!

I didn't reply to that and then 25 minutes later he texts:

'If I make a booking will you dress as Steve Irwin?'

Hahahahaahha

Clearly the man is a complete loon, but I'm sorry, I laughed like a loon when I read this😂😂😂.
Steve Irwin?? *facepalm* And what a jackass to say that about Oz😡.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Philipa on 26 January 2020, 07:54:32 pm
Quote from: betheliz on 26 January 2020, 02:48:44 pm
WTF!

By text:

Him: Hi, will you do 2 hours for 80?

Me: Hi there, no, my 2 hour fee is ___

Him: You are a burnt Australian! Your country is on fire, I bet as soon as I put my dick in you it would burn and it would look like a black burnt sausage at a barbecue on Bondi Beach! All shrivelled and yuck. I clearly dodged a bullet and God is angry at your country so he is burning everything!!!

I didn't reply to that and then 25 minutes later he texts:

'If I make a booking will you dress as Steve Irwin?'

Hahahahaahha
Yeah, what a loser!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Philipa on 26 January 2020, 11:24:07 pm
It's annoying when they ask for something you're not

Some man called from Texas phone number

Him: Are you curvy? I only want a big curvy woman
Me: I am genuinely a size 14 UK size
Him: Oooh...How big is your ass?
Me: What you see in my photos is what you get
Him: I like your photos, but size 14 is skinny. I want BIG curvy ass
Me thinking 'why did you call me then? :FF Maybe I should've lied and told him I was much larger. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 27 January 2020, 03:09:33 pm
Quote from: Philipa on 26 January 2020, 11:24:07 pm
...
Him: I like your photos, but size 14 is skinny. I want BIG curvy ass
Me thinking 'why did you call me then? :FF Maybe I should've lied and told him I was much larger.
Answer: because he's a dick.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 29 January 2020, 07:27:01 pm
Two very 'thrusting city' types rung today in 'manager mode' and booked themselves in without me having any part in the discussion. Then tried to hang up to rush to their very important meetings.

I was slightly annoyed and told both in a flat monotone, '...fuck off you middle class cunt.'

One squealed, 'There's no need to be rude! :(' Then texted in a style worthy of an Elizabethan gentleman in his velvet breeches and ruffled lace collar, "I'm sorry, I think you may have misjudged me. I apologise' :-\

I think these callers feel they are surrounded by a sea of fools who they have to micro manage.
Had quite of few of these impatient apologists recently.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 03 February 2020, 01:34:22 am
Subject: When
-----------------------------------------------------------------
You free mrs bores me need dirty sweaty sex cost no issue for a bush mmmm
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: linglau on 03 February 2020, 12:05:34 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 03 February 2020, 01:34:22 am
Subject: When
-----------------------------------------------------------------
You free mrs bores me need dirty sweaty sex cost no issue for a bush mmmm

Some guys really know how to sweet talk a gal  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 03 February 2020, 06:00:45 pm
By AW mail in the middle of the night...

"Do you take it up the arse ???"


I missed on that charming characters as I was asleep :-)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 03 February 2020, 08:23:18 pm
Also an email on AW and it came through tonight.

"I've only got a 3inch cock and it isn't a grower. Can you help?"

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 04 February 2020, 04:31:40 pm
City professional type, rung up and booked and just settling price on the service.

Mr Paranoid- What's the price
Me- It's exacty the price on my profile
Mr Paranoid- Say it.
Me- Can't you see it?
Mr Paranoid-Yes
Me-You want me to verbalise it?
Mr Paranoid- Yes.
Me-Why do you want me to say it? Havent' you read it?
Yes I've got it in front of me
Me-Why do you want me to say it then?
Mr Paranoid- I want to know that your profile is under your control. The fact that you don't know makes me doubt it?
Me- I didn't say I don't know my fees. Why do you have to be so controlling? Does it get you what you want?
Mr Paranoid- There are lots of girls on AW so yes, I can get what I want.
Me- I don't think I want your paranoid energy in my calm, peaceful place.
Mr Paranoid- Well thanks for the chat I don't think we'll talk again
Me- I hope we won't, thanks for the wierd experience.

So if I get this right... his screening consists of me repeating the price and that assures him that I'm not a sex slave. The police need to employ this chap.

Thank goodness these guys can't resist showing their issues before they romp up in person. This is why I have to vet by voice call.
I wasn't in my working flat, so it left me free to hunt the street market for coconut covered almonds instead.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Philipa on 05 February 2020, 07:01:47 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 04 February 2020, 04:31:40 pm
Mr Paranoid- I want to know that your profile is under your control. The fact that you don't know makes me doubt it?
Me- I didn't say I don't know my fees. Why do you have to be so controlling? Does it get you what you want?
Mr Paranoid- There are lots of girls on AW so yes, I can get what I want.

Thank goodness these guys can't resist showing their issues before they romp up in person. This is why I have to vet by voice call.
What a daft way to find out if the profile is under your control  ::)

This reminds me of a few clients in the past who asked if I've written my own profile and if I have full control of the working phone. That doesn't prove anything!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 05 February 2020, 08:00:20 pm
Ask for my personal phone number because I don't have WhatsApp on my whore phone - yeah, sure!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BibiofLeeds on 06 February 2020, 11:45:45 am
Quote from: Philipa on 05 February 2020, 07:01:47 pm
What a daft way to find out if the profile is under your control  ::)

This reminds me of a few clients in the past who asked if I've written my own profile and if I have full control of the working phone. That doesn't prove anything!
Also I dare imagine that even if someone was controlling a sew worker, then the rates would be exactly what they would know when punters ring!
I've had guys ask me for services I didn't do but claimed they were only asking so they knew my profile was real. They couldn't explain how this would prove it though.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 07 February 2020, 06:03:16 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 04 February 2020, 04:31:40 pm
...So if I get this right... his screening consists of me repeating the price and that assures him that I'm not a sex slave. The police need to employ this chap...
Haha!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 07 February 2020, 11:28:12 pm
An 'idiot' who I've seen incall at least 10 times, tried booking me for an outcall, I told him to give me his full address and I would get back to him.. He then said "I give you my door number once I can see you outside" Err no it doesn't quite work like that !!  ??? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 08 February 2020, 07:32:45 am
Quote from: katrina on 07 February 2020, 11:28:12 pm
...He then said "I give you my door number once I can see you outside"...
The twat!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 10 February 2020, 05:38:13 pm
Friendly Irish - Hello would you do an overnight
Lovable me - Yes where
Friendly Irish - I'm in a hotel in mayfair
Lovable me - Do you know the fee?
Friendly Irish - Yes it's very reasonable! it's mi birthday wou ;D....
I cut him off, heard that script before.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 11 February 2020, 03:40:46 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 08 February 2020, 07:32:45 am
The twat!

Yep! and when I told him not only do I need his full address I also need a 30% deposit now too, his response: "Sorry for wasting your time" The fucking imbecile had already worked his way up to my OID list for previous idiotic behaviour, now promoted himself to 'ignore forever'  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 11 February 2020, 06:20:40 pm
Rude short fuse angry idiot phone call.

Angry Idiot: Where are you located
Me: Did you read my advertsing details in full
Angry Idiot: I read briefly
Me: Do go back to read my details
Angry Idiot: I rather we speak on the phone
Me: Yes that is what I prefer but you have not read my details so do read then call back
Angry Idiot:  (This time his begun to raise his voice) You should just tell me whats on your ad instead of me reading
Me: Goodbye
Angry Idiot: Rude black bitch

I become immune to such slur insults they don't affect me. The angry idiot could not get his own way. Had he read my details he know im outcalls only despite it mentioned several times in my advert heading and main content.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 12 February 2020, 12:52:19 pm
Phoning from a phonebox of all places cos they've got no credit and expecting to be told my full address from there  ::) ::) ::) Then he says he'll charge his phone up and get back to me.

So he's got NO credits and his phone is allegedly dead. And yet he still expects full address!

Dickhead  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tianalostotheract on 12 February 2020, 10:15:27 pm
My favourite is “ what do you do”
When you’ve clearly listed Loool
Orrr the ones that phone you and be like “ where are you” , “ send postcode”
😂😂

“ you do bb” even though my profile clearly says no bb
I reply hell to the no
“ oh I was just seeing if your a good one then try’s to book”
Me ALL services will now be covered
“ I promise I’m clean”
Lool yeah right
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hot flower on 13 February 2020, 09:13:32 am
I quickly deactivated WhatsApp on my new phone as it gave the green light to all idiots who just couldn't call  and clearly wouldn't to book.
Where are you ?
You free ?

Since it's been removed no contact made but they are not genuine anyway .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 13 February 2020, 09:29:18 am
Quote from: hot flower on 13 February 2020, 09:13:32 am
I quickly deactivated WhatsApp on my new phone as it gave the green light to all idiots who just couldn't call  and clearly wouldn't to book.
Where are you ?
You free ?

Since it's been removed no contact made but they are not genuine anyway .

When I first used WA on my work phone (back when it was compatible) I had pretty much the same experience, also used to crash my handset thank goodness it's completely incompatible - me and the phone!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 13 February 2020, 02:15:55 pm
Quote from: Tianalostotheract on 12 February 2020, 10:15:27 pm
My favourite is “ what do you do”
When you’ve clearly listed Loool
Orrr the ones that phone you and be like “ where are you” , “ send postcode”
😂😂

“ you do bb” even though my profile clearly says no bb
I reply hell to the no
“ oh I was just seeing if your a good one then try’s to book”
Me ALL services will now be covered
“ I promise I’m clean”
Lool yeah right

The best way to handle this ~ granted it's better face to face ~ when they give you that "I'm clean" line is this:
"Good to hear! I'll need to see a copy of your latest STD findings from an accredited lab company such as Lab Corp or Quest Diagnostics (I'm stateside, insert your choice here) dated within the last 24 hours." *sweet smile*

Practice it & do NOT stumble when saying it; trust me, the look on their face is worth saying it 6/7 times to get it in your head😂😂😂.

Had 1 guy who thought he'd get cute & try & beat me at my own game. He said, "Lemme see YOUR latest tests!!!" all aggressive like.

I very nicely replied it wasn't necessary for me to show him mine, because I wasn't the one who was asking for bareback.

Try & beat me at the game? I invented this game, Chuckles.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 13 February 2020, 02:46:46 pm
Quote from: katrina on 11 February 2020, 03:40:46 pm
...The fucking imbecile had already worked his way up to my OID list for previous idiotic behaviour, now promoted himself to 'ignore forever'  ;D
Haha!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 13 February 2020, 02:47:27 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 10 February 2020, 05:38:13 pm
...Friendly Irish - Yes it's very reasonable! it's mi birthday wou ;D....
I cut him off, heard that script before.
Haha!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Philipa on 18 February 2020, 04:30:19 pm
Another example of how not to book:

Him: Princess, good morning. I’m at the Ned, when you can be here?
Me: Morning. I can be there in 40 minutes.
Him: Princess, I want to see you now. I can’t wait to 40 minutes.
Me: I need time to get there.
Him: Please princess. ?
Me: That’s the quickest I can do. Can I have your guest name and room number?
Him: Can you turn me into your bitch slave. What are your orders?
Me: Yes. Can I have your guest name and room number?
Him: Can you send me a pic of you holding a finger or two up to know you are real?
Me: You know I’m real. You saw my pictures.
Him: Ok, can you send today’s pic so I’m comfortable please? Take a pic now holding a finger or two up
Me: I send. Please check it
Him: Can I see natural pic? Without makeup?
Me: This is how I look today!
Him: But I want to see the pic without makeup. Take off your makeup
Me: I don’t think you are serious.
Him: You are playing games now. Shame. I was really ready for you. Bye. Fake.
Me: Bye.

BLOCK! What a moron.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 18 February 2020, 05:04:18 pm
Quote from: Philipa on 18 February 2020, 04:30:19 pm
Another example of how not to book:

Him: Princess, good morning. I’m at the Ned, when you can be here?
Me: Morning. I can be there in 40 minutes.
Him: Princess, I want to see you now. I can’t wait to 40 minutes.
Me: I need time to get there.
Him: Please princess. ?
Me: That’s the quickest I can do. Can I have your guest name and room number?
Him: Can you turn me into your bitch slave. What are your orders?
Me: Yes. Can I have your guest name and room number?
Him: Can you send me a pic of you holding a finger or two up to know you are real?
Me: You know I’m real. You saw my pictures.
Him: Ok, can you send today’s pic so I’m comfortable please? Take a pic now holding a finger or two up
Me: I send. Please check it
Him: Can I see natural pic? Without makeup?
Me: This is how I look today!
Him: But I want to see the pic without makeup. Take off your makeup
Me: I don’t think you are serious.
Him: You are playing games now. Shame. I was really ready for you. Bye. Fake.
Me: Bye.

BLOCK! What a moron.

Philipa ~
It's so interesting you posted this, bc I've had 2 requests in the last 2 months for makeup free sessions. This after 4 years of never having heard it.

It's baffling bc they can't or won't explain why they want me makeup free. Granted, I don't HAVE to know, but you're asking for something somewhat out of the ordinary, & well, I'm curious.

Both of them have also been midday requests, & I've had to tell them no. I don't put it on with a trowel, no false eyelashes, no red lips, heavy foundation etc etc. I'm not however, taking my entire face off for a 2:30 appointment & then have to reapply it for the rest of my day slash night.
I offered the 1st session of the morning or last of the night to both of them, but neither could do that.

I'm assuming it has to do with suspicious wives/GFs, but that's a YP, not a MP.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SamLilly on 18 February 2020, 06:16:06 pm
Last night into today asking for CBT even though its not on my profile.

Then asked me bring a hammer and nail his balls to wood. Request I bring hammer and I should bring supplies. Told him to get to a builders merchant and get some nails.

Thankfully changing dumb phone as cant block this guy. Latest request can he watch porn hub.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 18 February 2020, 06:24:34 pm
Wally Warthog- Hello are you around today
Me- Yes  ;D
Wally Warthog- Can I see you today
Me- Yes  ;D
Wally Warthog- You know what... forget it, you're rude >:(



And on the same day a text from a different number saying-
'Ur rude'  >:(

Is it in some catchphrase on the interweb or telly?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Philipa on 20 February 2020, 12:06:03 am
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 18 February 2020, 05:04:18 pm
Philipa ~
It's so interesting you posted this, bc I've had 2 requests in the last 2 months for makeup free sessions. This after 4 years of never having heard it.

It's baffling bc they can't or won't explain why they want me makeup free. Granted, I don't HAVE to know, but you're asking for something somewhat out of the ordinary, & well, I'm curious.

Both of them have also been midday requests, & I've had to tell them no. I don't put it on with a trowel, no false eyelashes, no red lips, heavy foundation etc etc. I'm not however, taking my entire face off for a 2:30 appointment & then have to reapply it for the rest of my day slash night.
I offered the 1st session of the morning or last of the night to both of them, but neither could do that.

I'm assuming it has to do with suspicious wives/GFs, but that's a YP, not a MP.

Maybe discretion reasons (but they could always take a shower afterwards)
Or they have a severe skin allergy
Or they want to see the 'real you au naturel' isn't it.
We are moving into a more real, more authentic era,  ::) Clients confuse the 'no makeup look' with subtly made up.

I've been cancelled before without makeup so I don't take this risk.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 20 February 2020, 07:46:14 pm
Another caller offering his services as an etiquette teacher.

Me - What would you like to book?  :)
Random - I don't know
Me - If you don't know I won't be able to help you thank, you bye bye.
Random - text 'You're just going to be rude about it'. >:(

Is it a 'woke' word or summatt?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 20 February 2020, 08:58:15 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 20 February 2020, 07:46:14 pm
Another caller offering his services as an etiquette teacher.

Me - What would you like to book?  :)
Random - I don't know
Me - If you don't know I won't be able to help you thank, you bye bye.
Random - text 'You're just going to be rude about it'. >:(

Is it a 'woke' word or summatt?

You gotta throw me a bone here, buddy. Today? Tmrw? Next year? You must have some idea, for Christs sake....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Elladiamond on 29 February 2020, 03:01:32 pm
Hey, how are you?

You seem like a lady who I will click with and understand. I aim to engage on a deep level of chemistry, have attraction and create an intense passion between us.

I'm 6ft tall, muscular built and a well groomed good looking guy which you will see. I have a busy lifestyle travelling abroad regularly for business. I’m also educated to a masters level.

I will treat you with respect at all times and I am a fun person who loves quality time with respect and a mutual understanding.

I look forward to your reply and furthermore in meeting you soon and hopefully regularly

Money isn’t an issue and I can look after you financially too.

You can email me on: ...
or I can give you my number

Kindest Regards

Sami

does AW turned into a dating site?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 29 February 2020, 03:43:49 pm
Idiot Text: I'm a good looking Italian guy can you do outcall hour for 100 pounds as I can't see your face it's worth this much.

Me: I Did not reply usual block and delete. :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Saffy on 03 March 2020, 09:14:24 pm
I do my screening by text and only speak to them once I feel they might be genuine.

So by text replies to my questions -

Coffin Dodger: Hi I'm so and so, 66 yrs old and I would like a 15 min booking.
Me: No. At your age its going to take you 10 mins to take your clothes off.

Don't get me wrong I prefer the older gent. Especially the ones that text you in full and proper english.



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BangerRacing on 03 March 2020, 11:06:45 pm
Quote from: Saffy on 03 March 2020, 09:14:24 pm
I do my screening by text and only speak to them once I feel they might be genuine.

So by text replies to my questions -

Coffin Dodger: Hi I'm so and so, 66 yrs old and I would like a 15 min booking.
Me: No. At your age its going to take you 10 mins to take your clothes off.

Don't get me wrong I prefer the older gent. Especially the ones that text you in full and proper english.

 ;D priceless

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 04 March 2020, 12:29:15 am
Quote from: BangerRacing on 03 March 2020, 11:06:45 pm
;D priceless
But it's sooooo true.

Let's put on our underwear. Now we have to look for our socks *shuffles around*. Now you slowly have to turn your shirt 👚right side out, bc you were such a Neanderthal you couldn't do that prior .... where's our jeans 👖...?

*me, tapping slippered foot & pulling a Miranda Priestly*
"By all means move at a glacial pace, you know how that thrills me."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 04 March 2020, 08:15:51 am
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 04 March 2020, 12:29:15 am
But it's sooooo true.

Let's put on our underwear. Now we have to look for our socks *shuffles around*. Now you slowly have to turn your shirt 👚right side out, bc you were such a Neanderthal you couldn't do that prior .... where's our jeans 👖...?

*me, tapping slippered foot & pulling a Miranda Priestly*
"By all means move at a glacial pace, you know how that thrills me."

I have a reg who moves at snail pace. Luckily he books 2 hours minimum. I have to allow 30 mins or so for him to leave  ;D ;D ;D And he's in his 60's!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Harriet_Lille on 05 March 2020, 11:34:05 am
I'm pretty sure that I state that I do not provide any sort of taboo or illegal rolelplays, and yet I still get idiots asking me if I do.
I have people asking me if i do family related taboo roleplays when I definitely do not do that for personal reasons, as well as it not being my thing.

I suppose they just push their luck regardless.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: geordie on 05 March 2020, 11:43:05 am
Quote from: Saffy on 03 March 2020, 09:14:24 pm
I do my screening by text and only speak to them once I feel they might be genuine.

So by text replies to my questions -

Coffin Dodger: Hi I'm so and so, 66 yrs old and I would like a 15 min booking.
Me: No. At your age its going to take you 10 mins to take your clothes off.

Don't get me wrong I prefer the older gent. Especially the ones that text you in full and proper english.
Not necessarily, I’ve met older clients who are fit as a fiddle!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: linglau on 05 March 2020, 11:14:17 pm
Quote from: geordie on 05 March 2020, 11:43:05 am
Not necessarily, I’ve met older clients who are fit as a fiddle!

I have too, not had any decrepit oldies (yet)  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Harriet_Lille on 06 March 2020, 08:58:32 am
In the last few days:

Clients starting AW emails with "hello treacle!"
Clients whatsapping dick pictures to my (work) phone
An email saying "you look fat as you chatting."

I don't understand, is that slang? Or is he calling me fat?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nora batty on 06 March 2020, 02:18:53 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 06 March 2020, 03:14:34 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 04 March 2020, 12:29:15 am
"you know how that thrills me."

Will be my heart-felt response when a dozy client asks me how such and such feels ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Harriet_Lille on 06 March 2020, 04:54:37 pm
Quote from: Nora batty on 06 March 2020, 02:18:53 pm
I have so many dic pics on my phone, I am seiously considering doing an album on my AW for all these cunts.  Not like losing any business from them, idiots who open with a cock pic are just after any engagement with you, to wank off to.  I may as well profit a little from having to look at said bad bodies with some suspect looking cocks.

I could collect them and make it into a popup book.

Or... Maybe not.

I don't understand. They think it's more acceptable because I'm a sex worker. Maybe they think I'll say "by jove that's a nice penis, how about a free session? Or a discount?"

Because we live in a land of make belief.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 07 March 2020, 07:41:34 pm
Picks the cheapest service and tried to tag on free stuff.
Then they magically lose their ability to count.

Random-I'd like to book the £40, 15 minute session
Me-Fine
Random- Have you got black, elbow length, silk opera gloves
Me-Yes
Random- Ok I'll see you in 30 minutes
Me-They're not included in the fee
Random-Wot!
Me-They're not included in the fee, would you like to pay for the costume?
Random- Yes how much
Me- £10 extra
Random- OK
Me-See you soon.
Random- You don't sound happy about it.
(Translation- He doesn't want to cough up)

Me-I'm happy that you're paying the extra for the costume.
(In my head, I'm yawning you're a tedious, scrounging piece of poo of no interest to me whatsoever.)

Random How much is it the total?
Me-£40 and £10 for the costume
Random-I don't think I'll bother
Me-That's fine
(Thank f* for that! so happy he's cancelled cause he would be too annoying)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: katrina on 10 March 2020, 08:07:08 pm
Another silly adultwork emailer asked to book me and another escort for duo...he needed to check whether the price listed is for both of us or each (it's listed as double the fee just in case potentials can't add up 1+1=2)  ::) ::) So he then says he doesn't drive so would we visit him in Scunthorpe, I tell him yes thats fine but the price listed is for incall, outcall would be, err outcall rates and seeing as it's a round trip of 100 miles from us, travel costs would be added too!

He declined saying he'll 'take a rain check' Mind you, his stupidity to be expected considering he lives in the only city with a C U N T in it.  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hot flower on 13 March 2020, 11:48:23 am
Asks what services I offer (sure he's wanking )
Refer him back to the profile asap polity
He doesn't bother getting back to me ..maybe he can't read !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Philipa on 20 March 2020, 04:00:35 pm
Telling me how to run my business:

Him: you are charging too much for taxi. I use Uber in central London it costs no more than £10
Me: my outcall rate includes the effort it takes to travel, not just taxi
Him: you'll lose clients if you profit from the taxi. That's greedy. Where do you live? I can tell you how much it should cost


Wow. Please don't dispense business advice whilst trying to book.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DarcyLady on 20 March 2020, 06:01:12 pm
Quote from: Philipa on 20 March 2020, 04:00:35 pm
Telling me how to run my business:

Him: you are charging too much for taxi. I use Uber in central London it costs no more than £10
Me: my outcall rate includes the effort it takes to travel, not just taxi
Him: you'll lose clients if you profit from the taxi. That's greedy. Where do you live? I can tell you how much it should cost


Wow. Please don't dispense business advice whilst trying to book.  :FF

I love these types of clients. I had one tell me that I needed his help to write my profile, which has been successfully gaining me clients for ten years now... ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hot flower on 22 March 2020, 10:24:35 pm
 email on aw telling me I could use  a photographer and insists its a good rate .
Reading between the lines no interest in booking just promotion of business and thinks my images are crap probably
In the meantime
 when clients like the images and paid to visit  guess I'm doing something right  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 22 March 2020, 10:55:57 pm
When a fool texts when clearly says don't texts cos they get deleted but in that text seeking services I don't provide.

Fools text message

hi i would like to meet with you but for real unprotected sex you would feel and i also say that it's sex what do you say about it?

Blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hot flower on 23 March 2020, 05:29:03 pm
Quote from: pandora on 29 August 2009, 09:21:06 pm
My personal fave was a text from one of my younger regulars who had recently lost his job.

"I don't have any money so can I just come round and wank in front of you?"

Followed by, (after I did not reply)

"If not, do you have any friends that would like me to stop by and wank?"


Another one I received when on cam was "can you do a quickie for a fiver?" - Obviuosly not! The reply was "I will go and book a tranny then"

Joy!
Oh this is too funny 😅
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LittleMinx2 on 27 March 2020, 09:43:41 am
Keep getting fantasists messaging me saying they will pay X ammount for me to join them during lock down. Clearly states I am not working during this whole ordeal. Idiots the lot of them!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 29 March 2020, 12:13:10 am
I have it on my profile and in my auto response I am unavailable until further notice.

Logged in to this.

Wow wat a sexy ass...will deffo have 2 book u...bein tho u very local...am from *** n u got me very hard indeed xxz

He then goes on to have a conversation with my auto response.  ::)


Also had someone I haven't seen in well over a year message that he'd like to book when this is all over. Okay...so message me at that time? Do they really think we're going to fall for the free sex chat they want?  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hot flower on 31 March 2020, 10:46:20 am
Call this morning on my work phone obviously from someone who saved my number as I'm not displaying it
Him Hi luv you self isolating ?
Me I'm not working at all I want to be safe
Him Have you got any idea when you going to work
Me do you know when the virus is finished
 Him He laughs no luv
Me I wouldn't put myself or anyone else at risk

Really !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 31 March 2020, 12:02:59 pm
Received today, and what a one-sentencer it is...!

Would you let someone get u pregnant?


:/
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: woowoomonster on 06 April 2020, 02:51:53 am
We agree to a booking and set scenario, then right at the last minute, asks for Bareback. Then cancels when I say no.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: woowoomonster on 06 April 2020, 04:47:45 pm
One single, solitary text message, with no previous contact,

"Outcall".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 06 April 2020, 05:12:36 pm
Quote from: SarahHerts on 06 April 2020, 04:47:45 pm
One single, solitary text message, with no previous contact,

"Outcall".

Yes I get these, sometimes there's a town attached.

Have got someone who texts "hey" every so often.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 06 April 2020, 06:53:10 pm
Quote from: Mirror on 06 April 2020, 05:12:36 pm
Yes I get these, sometimes there's a town attached.

Have got someone who texts "hey" every so often.

Hee hee. Mirror, this is when you text back, “Straw.”😆😆😆
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DarcyLady on 07 April 2020, 11:46:20 am
Quote from: Mirror on 06 April 2020, 05:12:36 pm
Yes I get these, sometimes there's a town attached.

Have got someone who texts "hey" every so often.

These sorts of texts drive me insane. I get 'hi,' and 'u r fit.' They get blocked immediately.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 07 April 2020, 12:37:55 pm
Does anyone get the 'Do you see black?' text every so often?

I think it's the same person different number each time.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DarcyLady on 07 April 2020, 12:55:12 pm
Quote from: Mirror on 07 April 2020, 12:37:55 pm
Does anyone get the 'Do you see black?' text every so often?

I think it's the same person different number each time.

YES! And 'do you like big cocks?'  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 07 April 2020, 06:08:36 pm
Subject: *** outcall x
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi
You have a beautiful profile
30s in ***
Live in appartment- nice views ample parking
Can you do a 3 hour meet (so no travelling lots) for £150 or 6 hours for £300
Or 24 hours for £500
Thanks x

So....I have a "beautiful profile," which states I don't even do outcall. Or longer than an hour for a first meet, or overnights, since I'd rather stab myself in the eyes. Doesn't matter how long the meet is, if I did outcalls it's still going to take me the same amount of time to travel there and back. Where did that logic come from?  ??? Wants 3 hours for only slightly more than an hour rate. Oh and also wants me to travel during lockdown, when I have it very clearly stated I'm unavailable until further notice and be in close contact during a pandemic, risking myself and my family. How can I resist? Fucking idiot.  :FF :FF

The amount of requests I have recieved in the last week is shocking. Some are obvious timewasters, but I've gotten them from people I have seen before and regulars as well. And they're all being blocked. If they don't give a shit about their or my health right now, then they don't at any other time either.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 07 April 2020, 08:08:57 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 07 April 2020, 06:08:36 pm
Subject: *** outcall x
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi
You have a beautiful profile
30s in ***
Live in appartment- nice views ample parking
Can you do a 3 hour meet (so no travelling lots) for £150 or 6 hours for £300
Or 24 hours for £500
Thanks x



So....I have a "beautiful profile," which states I don't even do outcall. Or longer than an hour for a first meet, or overnights, since I'd rather stab myself in the eyes. Doesn't matter how long the meet is, if I did outcalls it's still going to take me the same amount of time to travel there and back. Where did that logic come from?  ??? Wants 3 hours for only slightly more than an hour rate. Oh and also wants me to travel during lockdown, when I have it very clearly stated I'm unavailable until further notice and be in close contact during a pandemic, risking myself and my family. How can I resist? Fucking idiot.  :FF :FF

The amount of requests I have recieved in the last week is shocking. Some are obvious timewasters, but I've gotten them from people I have seen before and regulars as well. And they're all being blocked. If they don't give a shit about their or my health right now, then they don't at any other time either.  :FF

But Hannaah!! He has a nice view with ample parking! & is offering a whole 500 pounds for 24 hours!!!
What’s wrong with you, girlie?😆😆😆
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hot flower on 09 April 2020, 05:03:10 am
Quote from: DarcyLady on 07 April 2020, 11:46:20 am
These sorts of texts drive me insane. I get 'hi,' and 'u r fit.' They get blocked immediately.
They never book and we don't book them they are spam messages  lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 12 April 2020, 03:38:54 pm
Had an email this morning to ask whether I sell used underwear. I said yes, payment is through Amazon vouchers. Then he said he was hoping to come round and pick them up and this was after saying he would like a booking but under the current circumstances it's too risky.

Never met this man before ... why on earth would I 'meet' him just to give him used underwear.

Idiot  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 12 April 2020, 04:18:35 pm
Quote from: Gypsy on 12 April 2020, 03:38:54 pm
Had an email this morning to ask whether I sell used underwear. I said yes, payment is through Amazon vouchers. Then he said he was hoping to come round and pick them up and this was after saying he would like a booking but under the current circumstances it's too risky.

Never met this man before ... why on earth would I 'meet' him just to give him used underwear.

Idiot  ::)

Oh yes I find many used knicker enquiries ask to pick them up in person, and to take them off in front of them. Never accepted I now make sure I put everything in one text, terms and conditions, payment up front with accepted methods. Only one person went through with it in over 10 years.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 12 April 2020, 05:20:01 pm
Quote from: Mirror on 12 April 2020, 04:18:35 pm
Oh yes I find many used knicker enquiries ask to pick them up in person, and to take them off in front of them. Never accepted I now make sure I put everything in one text, terms and conditions, payment up front with accepted methods. Only one person went through with it in over 10 years.

I've sold a few pairs but that was always after a booking. Never had someone just calling round exclusively for them  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 08 May 2020, 02:45:12 am
This twat..

Meeting tomorrow??

Me:
It might be more useful to ask when I'm free and then suggest some times? Also a clue as to the length of meeting required, that's always useful...

Him: Commented on MY attitude and tragically decided not to make a booking

Sorry would you book an MOT by saying MOT tomorrow?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 13 May 2020, 05:43:30 pm
Or via text..

Him: Remember me?
Me: uhmm...
Him: Sends face pic..
Me: uhm still not a clue..

Do they really think we remember every client? I can barely remember who I've seen in the morning in the afternoon!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Saffy on 13 May 2020, 07:18:26 pm
When they turn up wearing half a bottle of aftershave like they are going on a blind date or something! And they turn to you and say "What do you think of me?". Obviously he thinks he's a catch. Your obliged to give him a compliment before he gets to the point and hands over the cash.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 13 May 2020, 09:56:12 pm
Got this a couple of days ago... Literally JUST this paragraph with no greeting or sign off, obvious C&P but dunno where the rest (if there was any!) went. It even stops mid-sentence at the end...


We will meet before to ensure you are comfortable then go to the fight. It is not advertised given the nature of them. I know the organisers so can get us up front. Its a decent vrowd alot of professionsl people go and quite a few women who get a kick out if it. 3 are solicitors who go to alk the fights and tgey live tgem. These are extreme fights. One of the ladies fighting won last time hard face biting and face stomping. She is [name redacted] 41. The loser was a real mess and very disressed and badly injured so you need to know what these fights are like. It was incredible to see. I need an escort who enjoys this. The last one ran out upset and sickened by


I could have left it, but the bafflement was strong, so I replied: "I have no idea what you are talking about, so it's a No from me."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBehaving on 14 May 2020, 04:24:53 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 13 May 2020, 09:56:12 pm
Got this a couple of days ago... Literally JUST this paragraph with no greeting or sign off, obvious C&P but dunno where the rest (if there was any!) went. It even stops mid-sentence at the end...


We will meet before to ensure you are comfortable then go to the fight. It is not advertised given the nature of them. I know the organisers so can get us up front. Its a decent vrowd alot of professionsl people go and quite a few women who get a kick out if it. 3 are solicitors who go to alk the fights and tgey live tgem. These are extreme fights. One of the ladies fighting won last time hard face biting and face stomping. She is [name redacted] 41. The loser was a real mess and very disressed and badly injured so you need to know what these fights are like. It was incredible to see. I need an escort who enjoys this. The last one ran out upset and sickened by


I could have left it, but the bafflement was strong, so I replied: "I have no idea what you are talking about, so it's a No from me."

Ohhh I had a more explanatory/ polite mail about needing an escort to attend an "extreme fight" last week .

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 14 May 2020, 05:10:45 am
Yes I have received that little gem about being stomped on and so on.  Such a charming proposition aren't we lucky to be invited!  I wrote back saying it sounds absolutely shite lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GothGirl on 14 May 2020, 09:27:53 am
Received at 6am this morning.


‘Outcall 30 mins for £30?’
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Brooke166 on 14 May 2020, 11:25:15 am
AW member messages me & asks for a booking so I send him my phone  number and ask him to call me

Text message at 11am -
 
Him - Hi baby

Me - Do you want to make a booking?

Him - Yes I have a meeting soon so later on

Me - I need to know a time as I have a schedule to adhere to. Please call me to make a booking

Him - Ok baby

12pm

Him -  Hi baby you ok x

1pm - I've sent you a WhatsApp baby xxx

He sends me a photo of himself sat on a motorbike and message that says 'Do I get a one back sexy xx'

I ignore him

5pm I get a text Him -

'Hi baby are u available now xxx'

Me - No

Him - Why not baby I want to see you xxx

Blocked
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 16 May 2020, 01:28:39 am
Hi x

Would you consider an incall with bearback sex at you discretion
I am clean married and had the snip

also willing to pay well


....What's bearback?  ??? ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 16 May 2020, 04:52:52 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 16 May 2020, 01:28:39 am
Hi x

Would you consider an incall with bearback sex at you discretion
I am clean married and had the snip

also willing to pay well


....What's bearback?  ??? ;D

It’s the friendly hug of the North American grizzly bear🐻😆Hannah, duh!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 16 May 2020, 05:08:53 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 16 May 2020, 04:52:52 pm
It’s the friendly hug of the North American grizzly bear🐻😆Hannah, duh!!

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 22 May 2020, 12:28:59 pm

HIM, VIA AW MESSAGES: hi, how can I contact you?

ME: Hello, you just did. How can I help you?

HIM: what do you mean? I did what?


ignores.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 22 May 2020, 02:35:02 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 22 May 2020, 12:28:59 pm
HIM, VIA AW MESSAGES: hi, how can I contact you?

ME: Hello, you just did. How can I help you?

HIM: what do you mean? I did what?


ignores.

Oh dear lord.🤦🏼‍♀️

You wonder how they get thru life...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 31 May 2020, 10:39:34 pm
Still have it all over I'm unavailable until further notice but I'm still getting them of course. Some gems from the last week.  ::)

Subject: Hi
-----------------------------------------------------------------
How are you x




hi there
Ok it was just a quick hello - Since lockdown two things have happened to me

1. During lockdown I have started wearing very little and live this new exhibitionism and letting my balls and cock to hang and swing freely.

2. I have become highly sexed and wanting to explore some new areas of sex - I just want to service a like minded woman

I would love to just chill with you both with no clothes on having a feel here and a lick there.
I'm highly sexed but very relaxed with the thought of doing any taboos with you
What do you think - interested?




Hey sexy booty
Wow u look sexy nice bum
To 69 I'm naz Turkish single
An would love to be ur booty
Lover call em ******
Or watts app me xx


Subject: Hi
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi im looking for an half hour meet tomorrow for my birthday x


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 03 June 2020, 06:28:36 pm
"5hours incall now
Postcode and best price
U a london bird yeah"


The fake over-excitement is comical...'bird' wasn't that a 70's phrase used in dramas like The Sweeney, Minder and such? How's it exist in the 2020's ? Time traveller in his corduroy flares and 6 foot lapels?



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Saffy on 03 June 2020, 06:42:19 pm
I text caller to send details ie ethnicity, age, location etc.
 
Reply - hi i'm jay, asian 32, still single.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 03 June 2020, 10:44:22 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 03 June 2020, 06:28:36 pm
"5hours incall now
Postcode and best price
U a london bird yeah"


The fake over-excitement is comical...'bird' wasn't that a 70's phrase used in dramas like The Sweeney, Minder and such? How's it exist in the 2020's ? Time traveller in his corduroy flares and 6 foot lapels?

Bet he shows up looking like Austin Powers😆😆😆.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 03 June 2020, 11:26:37 pm
 ;D ! Ewww scary


Quote from: Saffy on 03 June 2020, 06:42:19 pm
I text caller to send details ie ethnicity, age, location etc.
 
Reply - hi i'm jay, asian 32, still single.
Bless his little cotton socks!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 06 June 2020, 01:45:41 pm
Email sent at 4am today “Wow! I just signed up to AW and subscribed to your pics and you are sexy as hell! How do I meet you”, well reading my profile and not emailing me at stupid o’clock in the morning goes a long way!! Arsehole.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 06 June 2020, 02:23:00 pm
Quote from: TantricTease on 06 June 2020, 01:45:41 pm
Email sent at 4am today “Wow! I just signed up to AW and subscribed to your pics and you are sexy as hell! How do I meet you”, well reading my profile and not emailing me at stupid o’clock in the morning goes a long way!! Arsehole.

I couldn't get worked up about this. Phoning at some stupid hour (because whoever's doing it will know that they may disturb anyone who forgot to switch off their phone or put it on silent) then yes, but somebody who may have just finished work and decided to send some emails for the recipients to see when they got up, even if the email isn't one I expect to ever turn into a cash handover, isn't doing any harm.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 06 June 2020, 04:50:01 pm
Quote from: amy on 06 June 2020, 02:23:00 pm
I couldn't get worked up about this. Phoning at some stupid hour (because whoever's doing it will know that they may disturb anyone who forgot to switch off their phone or put it on silent) then yes, but somebody who may have just finished work and decided to send some emails for the recipients to see when they got up, even if the email isn't one I expect to ever turn into a cash handover, isn't doing any harm.

Not worked up as such but annoyed that he thinks it’s okay to email at that time in the morning and also if he had bothered to read my profile then he would know not to do this at that time and he would know I’m only avail when number shows up.

I need to turn my emails off or something as don’t like being bothered with work stuff when not working but I only have one thing with the internet and so obviously if I have data/WiFi on then I’m always going to get them sent to me, I’m gonna have to put my work email account on to something else, plus doesn’t help that I’m just so past working just now.

I posted this on the wrong thread perhaps but I thought ladies had posted things similar things, maybe another thread though.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 07 June 2020, 10:12:18 am
TT just dont read them, put an auto reply on saying just that. If they continue to email you anyway then more fool them. If you have notifications going to your phone turn them off. If you are not working you dont need to know. I havent looked at my phone or any of my emails since this started. All the info they need, i.e. Im not available, is on my profile and auto reply. When you do start work again you can block delete the messages. You dont owe them your time until you've got cash in your hand.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 07 June 2020, 11:53:20 am
Quote from: SW on 07 June 2020, 10:12:18 am
TT just dont read them, put an auto reply on saying just that. If they continue to email you anyway then more fool them. If you have notifications going to your phone turn them off. If you are not working you dont need to know. I havent looked at my phone or any of my emails since this started. All the info they need, i.e. Im not available, is on my profile and auto reply. When you do start work again you can block delete the messages. You dont owe them your time until you've got cash in your hand.

I don’t have auto reply with the email account I have, I use ProtonMail, anyone else use this? If I upgrade then I may get this so that I can as it would certainly make my life easier!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 07 June 2020, 01:15:54 pm
Quote from: TantricTease on 07 June 2020, 11:53:20 am
I don’t have auto reply with the email account I have, I use ProtonMail, anyone else use this? If I upgrade then I may get this so that I can as it would certainly make my life easier!

Ah - I assumed that because you said 'profile' you were talking about Adultwork where it's easy to set an autoreply :).

But just because somebody sends you an email doesn't mean you have to read it right away and I doubt they expect you would at that time of night; just switch off the notification for Protonmail on your phone and only look at them when you feel like it. I have emails that have been sitting about since Friday evening and they'll get looked at/answered tomorrow because I don't work Sundays - don't let them make you think you have to be on call 24/7 or you'll drive yourself nuts.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 07 June 2020, 04:51:17 pm
Quote from: TantricTease on 07 June 2020, 11:53:20 am
I don’t have auto reply with the email account I have, I use ProtonMail, anyone else use this? If I upgrade then I may get this so that I can as it would certainly make my life easier!

Ah that's annoying. If its written on your profile that you are not currently working it serves them right for not reading your ads and not getting a response. If you are not working at the moment there's nothing they need to contact you for. Turn notifications off and ignore them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 07 June 2020, 09:45:34 pm
No, I get it, & I can’t turn off my notifications currently bc I’m fixing to fly out on tour Tuesday. It IS aggravating when they don’t listen slash pay attention.

I’m dealing with 1 fool ~ well, not any more😆 ~ who didn’t understand the phrase, “You’re not allowed to arbitrarily text me & ask when I’ll be back in Pittsburgh?” 87 times a month. This particular *brand* of man in general is known for not taking no for an answer.

A chilly email📧 & threats of blocking piped him down... for 3 weeks *scowl*. Friday, goddamn here we go again. Does my website SAY I’m gonna be back in Pittsburgh? Noooooo.

You sir, are now blocked bc you *smack* don’t *smack* LISTEN👂!! *smack*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 21 June 2020, 02:48:22 pm
Message via ADULTWORK (that is AdultWORK) at 6am today, literally just this:


If Carlsberg made girlfriends lol xx


What? Did you think you were on Match.com? Does this look like Tinder? Which bit of AdultWORK did you not get? And did you really think with such a poetic one liner (which I guess you mean I am perfect etc, with the reference to a Carlsberg advert of all things perfect being made by Carlsberg) I would drop my knickers and my husband and run off with you??!

No I didn't say any of that, I just ignored.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 21 June 2020, 09:01:27 pm
When my profile on A.W clearly states I am not working don't have number showing.

Can I call u to book u in?

Deleted and bloocked. 

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 25 June 2020, 03:47:10 am
Via AW the other day. THREE messages from him in the space of half an hour, at about 4am, while I was asleep.


MESSAGE 1: i would adore seeing you with flowefs of course

MESSAGE 2: be great to kiss your massive legs tallover an fuss ur tits

MESSAGE 3:  c i just see your message webcam


"fuss ur tits" - wtf?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 25 June 2020, 11:59:37 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 25 June 2020, 03:47:10 am
Via AW the other day. THREE messages from him in the space of half an hour, at about 4am, while I was asleep.


MESSAGE 1: i would adore seeing you with flowefs of course

MESSAGE 2: be great to kiss your massive legs tallover an fuss ur tits

MESSAGE 3:  c i just see your message webcam


"fuss ur tits" - wtf?

*presents you, Cat, with a bouquet💐of flowefs*
I snorted out loud when I read that ~ AND the tits part, but the flowefs just got me😆😆.

Why does no 1 give me flowefs?😩

*Begins my day giggling*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 26 June 2020, 03:21:45 pm
This week's delight from someone over 70...


Hi, I saw and liked your profile and pictures on AW.  I hope we can meet up some time.

It is strange that sometimes we step outside our normal behaviour and it works.  My usual criteria for an AW search would be "under 30, size 8/10", but I found you when I didn't set any criteria.  And, of course, they are just physical, and what matters is attitude.  Yours comes over in your profile, and makes me want to meet you.  I am hoping for some good physical connection, but what always satisfies most is a positive mental connection, and I see a good chance of that.

I'm an older guy trying to recreate a youth I didn't really have, but wish I had.  I love lots of foreplay, deep French kissing and giving oral. Hope that works for you

1. So he's looking for a mental connection in skinny chicks under the age of 30, yeah uh really? Who are you trying to kid? If you like shagging younger girls at least have the guts to admit to it! He's in his 70s btw
2. Why do I need to know all this anyway? To make me feel grateful for his booking as I'm not young or skinny enough usually to grab his attention?

I decided to tell him to take his contradictions and jog on..

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 26 June 2020, 08:19:01 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 26 June 2020, 03:21:45 pm
This week's delight from someone over 70...


Hi, I saw and liked your profile and pictures on AW.  I hope we can meet up some time.

It is strange that sometimes we step outside our normal behaviour and it works.  My usual criteria for an AW search would be "under 30, size 8/10", but I found you when I didn't set any criteria.  And, of course, they are just physical, and what matters is attitude.  Yours comes over in your profile, and makes me want to meet you.  I am hoping for some good physical connection, but what always satisfies most is a positive mental connection, and I see a good chance of that.

I'm an older guy trying to recreate a youth I didn't really have, but wish I had.  I love lots of foreplay, deep French kissing and giving oral. Hope that works for you

1. So he's looking for a mental connection in skinny chicks under the age of 30, yeah uh really? Who are you trying to kid? If you like shagging younger girls at least have the guts to admit to it! He's in his 70s btw
2. Why do I need to know all this anyway? To make me feel grateful for his booking as I'm not young or skinny enough usually to grab his attention?

I decided to tell him to take his contradictions and jog on..

*shudders* Hell, I don’t want to see anyone over 70 & I bet I’m twice your age, Snowy😆. That’s also soooo creepy. Ugh.

I had a 72 year old a cpl months ago come in, plop himself down & say, “Oh I saw your mother/son RP on your website, we’ll have to try that next time!”

Thank god for once I was quick with an (unpracticed) answer. I said, “Awww. That’s only for the under 40 crowd, sorreeeee!”

72 & you wanting a fucking M/S RP. Disgusting.


[quote fixed]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Saffy on 26 June 2020, 08:48:34 pm
What about the "I'm only 25 will you see me?".

At what age do you become a man these days?  They still think they are boys when they are 32!


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 28 June 2020, 04:41:33 pm
Hi, are you working today so we can meet up and make love? xxx


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 28 June 2020, 05:06:57 pm
Fancy hooking up?

Me   ::) and I don't bother replying.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Saffy on 28 June 2020, 08:52:46 pm
This client I saw 4 times for one hour bookings and extras before lockdown. Well presented and well spoken. Also a bit pushy.

I was in contact with him this week and he informed that next time he came he would be wanting bareback. If he didn't get this he wouldn't be booking. It was up to me!

I told him to take his little Argos pencil somewhere else...



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 29 June 2020, 01:40:02 am
I had this one today, not sure what to make of it...

Hi XXXX I was given your number by a friend. Will you be working again after the lockdown? Do you have a website or profile anywhere I can see? Are you still near...

Why would a friend give you a number with no other details? Am I being thick or?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 29 June 2020, 03:44:00 am
Quote from: Saffy on 28 June 2020, 08:52:46 pm
This client I saw 4 times for one hour bookings and extras before lockdown. Well presented and well spoken. Also a bit pushy.

I was in contact with him this week and he informed that next time he came he would be wanting bareback. If he didn't get this he wouldn't be booking. It was up to me!

I told him to take his little Argos pencil somewhere else...

ARGOS PENCIL  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 29 June 2020, 11:20:35 am
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 29 June 2020, 01:40:02 am
I had this one today, not sure what to make of it...

Hi XXXX I was given your number by a friend. Will you be working again after the lockdown? Do you have a website or profile anywhere I can see? Are you still near...

Why would a friend give you a number with no other details? Am I being thick or?

It's been a very long time since I had that one but when they say a friend gave them my number I ask that the friend contact me before we go forward. They never do. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hot flower on 29 June 2020, 03:23:36 pm
I once had a message informing me. He was booking a birthday surprise for his *friend !  Probably himself ..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 29 June 2020, 03:47:02 pm
After being offered free trades service (would require me travelling a long way to access and leave something I depend on with him), I realised the mention of big cock, and asking 'can you see a photo on my profile' was likely a 'chat up' line leading to the suggesting I'd take service for services (which given my usual spend and the time/travel would probably not equal booking value anyway).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 29 June 2020, 05:17:44 pm
Quote from: Saffy on 28 June 2020, 08:52:46 pm
This client I saw 4 times for one hour bookings and extras before lockdown. Well presented and well spoken. Also a bit pushy.

I was in contact with him this week and he informed that next time he came he would be wanting bareback. If he didn't get this he wouldn't be booking. It was up to me!

I told him to take his little Argos pencil somewhere else...

These fuckers🪓🪓🪓.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 30 June 2020, 12:02:51 am
'Hey babe, you let me fist you, fuck you with all my hand inside your pussy? smiley-wink face'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 03 July 2020, 10:00:32 pm
This dumbass who doesn't realise he's been blocked since his first text message..

6.2.20 1.54am
Hey you I'm horny as fuck text me or lose me forever

7.3.20 0.02am
If you want me text me lol only joking babe I'm horny as fuck

15.3.20 1.13am
Need your ass in my life postcode please babe

30.6.20 7.10pm
Hello are you free tomorrow

I'm guessing the last message was the only one he's sent whilst straight?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 16 July 2020, 09:18:34 pm
Idiot who when I checked profile is offering free sex and massage to ladies yet has prices on show AW.
Spams copy paste emails - i'm Outcall only. Blocked then deleted.

You have a beautiful ass, I would like to eat your ass and your pussy until you cum.. I enjoy going down and I'm also proud of my skills. Nothing expected in return until you ask for. I won't bite, I'm safe and I'm more than willing to please you orally. For me heaven on earth is giving women massage and oral pleasure..

If you are interested in being satisfied orally, or if you want me to take care of your feet giving you some great massage feel free to contact me, I would be glad to satisfy you orally if you enjoy oral sex, is all about taking care of you until you cum, not to much to ask, not to much to talk, as soon as you done, I pull the door behind me and I'm gone, all very discreet. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 17 July 2020, 01:52:43 pm
Some proper irritants last week..

Via AW message

Him:
Hi Sexy
Hi are you available Wednesday x name x

Me:
You might need to be more specific, Wednesday has 24 hours in it?!

Him:
It does indeed and by that reply I won't be bothering to waste my time or money!

Me:
Aww that was lke a dagger to my heart  >:D

Another classic (I don't entertain outfit or costume requests, mostly because I'm lazy)

Him:
good evening I hope you are well. Just wondering always had a fantastic of having a lady dressed in the Princess Leia Slave outfit. Is that something you own and would do?
If that's not avaliable, I'd like to thank you for taking for taking the time to read my message and I wish you well for the future.x

I've had this punter email me twice (hence my response)

Him:
Hi would you stomp and stand on some balloons with your bare feet and pop them? Or stand on pink silk satin pillows bare foot?

Me: What did I say last time you messaged me?!

Via Text
Idiot 1
01.32am Are you working..

Idiot 2
00.12am
Where are you?



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 17 July 2020, 04:26:42 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 17 July 2020, 01:52:43 pm
Some proper irritants last week..

Via AW message

Him:
Hi Sexy
Hi are you available Wednesday x name x

Me:
You might need to be more specific, Wednesday has 24 hours in it?!

Him:
It does indeed and by that reply I won't be bothering to waste my time or money!

Me:
Aww that was lke a dagger to my heart  >:D

Another classic (I don't enterain outfit or costume requests, mostly because I'm lazy)

Him:
good evening I hope you are well. Just wondering always had a fantastic of having a lady dressed in the Princess Leia Slave outfit. Is that something you own and would do?
If that's not avaliable, I'd like to thank you for taking for taking the time to read my message and I wish you well for the future.x

I've had this punter email me twice (hence my response)

Him:
Hi would you stomp and stand on some balloons with your bare feet and pop them? Or stand on pink silk satin pillows bare foot?

Me: What did I say last time you messaged me?!

Via Text
Idiot 1
01.32am Are you working..

Idiot 2
00.12am
Where are you?

AHAHAHAHAH!!!

The Princess Leia outfit thing was a Friends episode!!! *in hysterics* That’s beyond awesome lololol.
Someone has waaaay too much time on his hands & streaming capabilities hahahahaha omg
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 17 July 2020, 05:18:11 pm
CelesteManchester, I love Princess Leia too, she's my hero!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 17 July 2020, 05:21:48 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 17 July 2020, 01:52:43 pm
Some proper irritants last week..

Via AW message

Him:
Hi Sexy
Hi are you available Wednesday x name x

Me:
You might need to be more specific, Wednesday has 24 hours in it?!

Him:
It does indeed and by that reply I won't be bothering to waste my time or money!

Me:
Aww that was lke a dagger to my heart  >:D

Another classic (I don't entertain outfit or costume requests, mostly because I'm lazy)

Him:
good evening I hope you are well. Just wondering always had a fantastic of having a lady dressed in the Princess Leia Slave outfit. Is that something you own and would do?
If that's not avaliable, I'd like to thank you for taking for taking the time to read my message and I wish you well for the future.x

I've had this punter email me twice (hence my response)

Him:
Hi would you stomp and stand on some balloons with your bare feet and pop them? Or stand on pink silk satin pillows bare foot?

Me: What did I say last time you messaged me?!

Via Text
Idiot 1
01.32am Are you working..

Idiot 2
00.12am
Where are you?

That ballon guy has been around for a long time always messages every year lool
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 22 July 2020, 01:35:52 pm
Posh voice...'I'd like to book a session today and see how it goes.'
I put him on the spot  and asked him six times what exactly he meant and wouldn't give a straight answer.
We were both playing the 'broken record' technique.

'Oh to see if the chemistry's right.'
I said, "You do know this isn't a dating service'
'Oh no no of course I didn't mean that!"

Then he pled ignorance and mercy once he realised I wasn't his gimpgurl.
"Oh I haven't done this much so don't know what to ask for'

I'd already struck him off in my head and just wanted to see him squirm.

Carrot-dangling player.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 22 July 2020, 04:10:35 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 29 June 2020, 05:17:44 pm
These fuckers🪓🪓🪓.
+1000
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 22 July 2020, 04:11:50 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 22 July 2020, 01:35:52 pm
...Then he pled ignorance and mercy once he realised I wasn't his gimpgurl.
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 25 July 2020, 05:41:09 pm
So this week has been an utter gimp fest with both newbies and regulars..

1. Client I've seen once before books an hour (he's been in touch a few times over the past few months and when I remind him I've moved (again) he ghosts me) and literally ten minutes before he's due, I get a text saying he's having a corona virus panic attack. Seriously! You're in the Navy you big jessy!

2. A regular I haven't seen in a while wants an hour 9am the following day and proceeds to go on and on all about missing me, what he'd love to do etc. An hour before the booking (after I've got up early, got ready etc.) he bloody cancels!

3. Another regular who has been in touch weekly (but we haven't been able to make the times work, mostly because he seems to contact me everytime I'm in the Range buying paint and tat) texts and we arrange something. I get ready in super quick time as he's nearby. Then, nothing! He finally texts me ten minutes after the booking was meant to have started, to say he can't make it after all.

4. Another regular makes an appointment for today and we get on well and often just chat via Whatsapp I mentioned the last minute cancellations and how annoying it is when you're trying to feed yourself and the cat and pay the rent. He made all the right noises and then, fails to confirm after I literally dragged myself out of bed this morning and ran the hoover round! No explanation, no apology.

And as for cretins, timewaster and scrotes, this week has been an absolute nightmare. I blocked 3 people in as many minutes on Wednesday..

This one made me want to hunt him down and beat the living shit out of him...

Him
Hiya hunnI 1hr bareback 250 £ ?x

Me
Fuck off

Him
Charming lol
As a prostitute u shouldn't be talking get to customers like that .as yr piss poor lol

Me
I think you need to go back to school and learn how to spell and punctuate a sentence. Cretin

Him
Prostitute lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 25 July 2020, 06:27:21 pm
Guy I have seen before texts yesterday to make a booking for an hour, I say yes and then he texts me “can we cuddle on the sofa” 🤢 and I text back “sorry but I only use my room for bookings”, to which deluded and chancing punter texts “well don’t make this a booking then, make it a date”, I got worked up a lot and typed out a long rant to send him back and then I quickly realised that this sort of stuff has earned me bad reviews before so I deleted it and simply sent him “the booking is cancelled” and then blocked him!

I hate when someone you thought was okay and a piece of piss to service, turns out to be a deluded chancing prick...such as the norm with many of these men. :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 25 July 2020, 06:30:03 pm
Snow Whitest I don’t get why these men think we are insulted to be called the very thing we do for a job! I have been called it all, whore, dirty hooker, slut, slag etc and none of these words hurt me..I am a whore and what of it?!

Imagine saying, for example “you fucking builder you” to a man that is, a builder of course, makes no fucking sense and the guy that called you called you a prostitute to insult you?! Wtf..idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 25 July 2020, 07:02:06 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 25 July 2020, 05:41:09 pm


Him
Prostitute lol

Is that meant to be an insult? I always laugh when they fall back on that word. Had one guy who I contacted the police about message me saying you're lucky I didn't tell them you're a prostitute..... Go ahead, I already told them when filing my complaint about his harrassment and even if I hadn't, I wasn't the one breaking the law, nor am I going to get upset about them using a word that describes what I'm doing. Twerps.

as for mine this week...

Can I have you for half hour? Have me?

No, you can't have me. May have just been badly worded but it still caused me to ignore and block.  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 25 July 2020, 07:28:04 pm
Exactly Hannaah. I was going to reply with something like, and there we have it, try reading some books and increase your vocabulary so you can throw better or at least more original insults..
But all he wanted was an audience so I didn't bother  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 25 July 2020, 08:00:08 pm
I had a lovely booking with someone on Wednesday who called me just literally hours after I put my ad back up on VS. One hour too.

But other than that I've just had an influx of timewasters, including one moron who arranged to call at a specific time after wanting my postcode and then didn't call at all  ::) Then he calls me hours later multiple times and sends me texts to say let me know if you're available.

Don't effing think so, mate! You waste my time, I waste yours  ;D Completely ignored.

Fingers crossed I have an hour with someone tomorrow who I've not seen for a while. Got everything crossed as he is a nice man.

Had one 3.5 hour booking on Monday with a reg who always leaves a nice tip and 15 minutes on Tuesday with another reg, so I've done okay this week  :)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 26 July 2020, 04:34:23 am
I got a text tonight asking when could he book me, I said to him to call me between X and X hours tomorrow and he said fine and then sent another one saying “I’m 100% Scottish, 32 and Ken the script” (Ken is know for those that aren’t up to date with the Scottish slang) and I thought uh oh here we go so I decided to play with him and I texted to ask “what might the script be then”, he sent me this back “Am 32 and like to think am a good looking lad who looks after himself.. I just miss the good bit of kissing with a blow.. dunno if you could make that happen“, and I replied that looks to me weren’t important in this job and got this back in reply “That's a beauty. My apologies never meant it like that.. personally I like a bit chemistry... if its business as usual I can do... hooker now that sounds like ud be fun... we sniff together would and fun wouldn't be up your street then... my fantasy would be to make you com by going down on you or is it just a job and that does nae happen nowadays lol“, so suffice to say MrDeluded101 won’t be getting a booking..fuck me, these idiots will never learn and probably didn’t really want a booking...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 26 July 2020, 03:53:49 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 25 July 2020, 05:41:09 pm


Him
Hiya hunnI 1hr bareback 250 £ ?x

Me
Fuck off

Him
Charming lol
As a prostitute u shouldn't be talking get to customers like that .as yr piss poor lol

Me
I think you need to go back to school and learn how to spell and punctuate a sentence. Cretin

Him
Prostitute lol

Why do all these douchbags like to use terms of endearment so often?  It's always the ones calling you hunni, babe, luv etc who are prime cases of douchbaggery.  I had one yesterday who was like 'Hi Hunni, you look lovely my luv, I'd like to see you sweetness' 

Of course he didn't read my bloody profile either the Muppet!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Escortx on 26 July 2020, 05:34:38 pm
Had an increase in time wasters also texts saying hi and nothing else
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 26 July 2020, 05:38:12 pm
Quote from: Escortx on 26 July 2020, 05:34:38 pm
Had an increase in time wasters also texts saying hi and nothing else

Same here! These ones are like drawing teeth sometimes and want so much interaction that I just won’t even take their calls, that is if they eventually get a clue and call me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 26 July 2020, 07:26:42 pm
Quote from: Escortx on 26 July 2020, 05:34:38 pm
Had an increase in time wasters also texts saying hi and nothing else

If I am in the mood with my unlimited texts I reply with Bye then they reply back with hi and it goes on and on till they get the picture. Some don't get it through their thick heads and respond with I want to book still reply bye. lol

When not in the mood serious mode not to mess about with the dik heads just block save under timewaster
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sera_fin on 26 July 2020, 09:21:33 pm
Has anyone heard from this chap?

Hey. So I get this is probably going to be a no but I’ll ask anyway. I am very clean, well educated and not a time waster. I travel a lot and am looking for a multiple arrangement if things work out. Basically, I’m into bald women, that’s right my kicks come from cutting and shaving women completely bald. If you’re a wig lover and think this kink might be for you then I’m happy to compensate you for a couple of hours of your time or maybe an overnight stop. I get you will probably say no so thanks for reading xxx

It's always the epic time wasters who assure us they are not time wasters  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 26 July 2020, 09:50:13 pm
Quote from: sera_fin on 26 July 2020, 09:21:33 pm
Has anyone heard from this chap?

Hey. So I get this is probably going to be a no but I’ll ask anyway. I am very clean, well educated and not a time waster. I travel a lot and am looking for a multiple arrangement if things work out. Basically, I’m into bald women, that’s right my kicks come from cutting and shaving women completely bald. If you’re a wig lover and think this kink might be for you then I’m happy to compensate you for a couple of hours of your time or maybe an overnight stop. I get you will probably say no so thanks for reading xxx

It's always the epic time wasters who assure us they are not time wasters  ::)

It also sounds like he would actually expect you to shave your hair off just to accommodate him! I had a guy that wants me to grow my pussy hair when 99% of my clients know I’m completely shaved, this guy has been to me twice over 2 months and yet his entitlement is off the chart, he is also new to escorting and I think he really is judging by the things he says, if he keeps going then he will get one of my “putting him right” texts and it won’t be pretty!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 27 July 2020, 07:16:04 pm
Another class act who has been ringing me on and off for weeks (I only accept text messages as it says ALL over my profile)

Yesterday, bloody Sunday, evening he rings again..

Me: Please text rather than call thanks

Him: Are you working

Me: It's 9pm on a Sunday, so no

Him: Are you in Portsmouth

Me: No, if you read my profile, specifically the tabs labelled "When and Where" you'll know where I am

Him: No, not read it

Me: Clearly

Him: So are you in Portsmouth or Southampton

Me: Blocked

Him: Your postcode please
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 27 July 2020, 10:44:51 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 27 July 2020, 07:16:04 pm
Another class act who has been ringing me on and off for weeks (I only accept text messages as it says ALL over my profile)

Yesterday, bloody Sunday, evening he rings again..

Me: Please text rather than call thanks

Him: Are you working

Me: It's 9pm on a Sunday, so no

Him: Are you in Portsmouth

Me: No, if you read my profile, specifically the tabs labelled "When and Where" you'll know where I am

Him: No, not read it

Me: Clearly

Him: So are you in Portsmouth or Southampton

Me: Blocked

Him: Your postcode please

I get the opposite issue in that I need a call and they keep fucking texting!!🤣🤣
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 28 July 2020, 05:03:32 pm
Lol TantricTease we need to swap client databases clearly  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Saffy on 01 August 2020, 06:22:57 pm
They think they can have whatever they want...

I prefer booking by text. After initial texts -

Stupid - send your pussy pic

Me - it looks like your face.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 02 August 2020, 02:43:09 am
Quote from: Saffy on 01 August 2020, 06:22:57 pm
They think they can have whatever they want...

I prefer booking by text. After initial texts -

Stupid - send your pussy pic

Me - it looks like your face.

 ;D  ;D stealing this
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: China_Grl on 03 August 2020, 11:26:43 am
Hi
You can send me some more pictures with you
And tell us if you live alone or if you live with someone
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 03 August 2020, 12:03:55 pm
Quote from: China_Grl on 03 August 2020, 11:26:43 am
Hi
You can send me some more pictures with you
And tell us if you live alone or if you live with someone
What a generous guy - allowing you to send him extra pictures of yourself, like we all yearn to (because providing free wanking material is obviously the aim of our game)!
This is certainly no greedy and rude (plus starkly suspicious-sounding) message, then...
 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sophine88 on 03 August 2020, 03:36:47 pm
A guy was annoying me on WhatsApp the other day. You know the usual sending dick pictures etc. What I tend to do is just keep responding with “so, you looking to make an appointment?” After saying this twice I usually block.

This guy as usual curved my question and said “I’m very tight I’ve never had a girl fuck me before” and at this stage I was in a bad mood. So instead of blocking him I replied with “Really, well maybe you should practice with your grandad and your father then beforehand”. He blocked me there and then, doing my work for me. Of course my response was a bit vulgar. But the only way to rid yourself of a cunt is to be an even bigger cunt.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 07 August 2020, 03:18:38 pm
This charmer via AW

Him: bb?
Me: Don't be silly. Never gonna happen
Him: I like to experience the raw pussy on my bare cock
Me: Maybe you should worry about your health dick head

Another day in paradise x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 07 August 2020, 05:03:09 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 03 August 2020, 12:03:55 pm
What a generous guy - allowing you to send him extra pictures of yourself, like we all yearn to (because providing free wanking material is obviously the aim of our game)!
This is certainly no greedy and rude (plus starkly suspicious-sounding) message, then...
 ;D
“Tell US if you live alone”, erm whose us..so many of them think we are stupid simply because we are sex workers and it’s them that are stupid for assuming so, it’s like us assuming someone is stupid because they work in a supermarket or something..idiots.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: linglau on 08 August 2020, 11:10:39 pm
Quote from: China_Grl on 03 August 2020, 11:26:43 am
Hi

And tell us if you live alone

Other words so we can come and rob and rape you. Yeah as if
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: China_Grl on 10 August 2020, 02:47:32 am
Quote from: linglau on 08 August 2020, 11:10:39 pm
Other words so we can come and rob and rape you. Yeah as if

my thoughts exactly  :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 10 August 2020, 03:06:11 am
At 10pm on a Sunday..

Hello are you a availible
When?
In half hour
Highly unlikely as my working hours finish at 4pm
Oh okay not for a little extra?

Piss off!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 10 August 2020, 12:17:36 pm
Quote from: China_Grl on 03 August 2020, 11:26:43 am
Hi
You can send me some more pictures with you
And tell us if you live alone or if you live with someone

I get that a lot, talk about creepster.  Do you live alone?  WTF business is it of yours, you will never go there....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sophine88 on 10 August 2020, 09:17:56 pm
Quote from: TantricTease on 07 August 2020, 05:03:09 pm
“Tell US if you live alone”, erm whose us..so many of them think we are stupid simply because we are sex workers and it’s them that are stupid for assuming so, it’s like us assuming someone is stupid because they work in a supermarket or something..idiots.

They do think we are stupid. Got a guy messaging me yesterday after not having my ad up in nearly a week. He said Hey with a love heart emoji and I knew the fucker was definitely just a timewasting idiot. Guys who normally text hey and don’t follow it with can I make an appointment are 100 percent of the time having no intention to make one it’s easy to tell. I told him that I wasn’t working and not to contact me looking to meet when I’m not advertising. He said oh right no need to be so pissy just a fan saved your number to text you later.

At the point when he said he was a fan I just told him to go fuck off. I knew he was trying to engage in a conversation with me that didn’t include making an appointment and I wasn’t there for it. He proceeded to say wow must get no clients with an attitude like that. I signed off by saying I don’t have an attitude with guys who know the difference between tinder and a fucking escort site you obviously looking for something for free otherwise you would’ve text me when I was touring your city. Go look for someone on tinder and stop annoying me you ugly cunt.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LLUCY_x on 12 August 2020, 10:01:19 pm
Quote from: Sophine88 on 10 August 2020, 09:17:56 pm
They do think we are stupid. Got a guy messaging me yesterday after not having my ad up in nearly a week. He said Hey with a love heart emoji and I knew the fucker was definitely just a timewasting idiot. Guys who normally text hey and don’t follow it with can I make an appointment are 100 percent of the time having no intention to make one it’s easy to tell. I told him that I wasn’t working and not to contact me looking to meet when I’m not advertising. He said oh right no need to be so pissy just a fan saved your number to text you later.

At the point when he said he was a fan I just told him to go fuck off. I knew he was trying to engage in a conversation with me that didn’t include making an appointment and I wasn’t there for it. He proceeded to say wow must get no clients with an attitude like that. I signed off by saying I don’t have an attitude with guys who know the difference between tinder and a fucking escort site you obviously looking for something for free otherwise you would’ve text me when I was touring your city. Go look for someone on tinder and stop annoying me you ugly cunt.

Can I tell you I'm a fan for that response!? I always feel guilted into being nice, teach me your ways hahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 15 August 2020, 05:28:16 pm
Do I look fucking stupid?

Hi my name is Tom,

I hope you have had a good week so far? I'm messaging you because I'm a former escourt and am looking into getting back into the industry again and wanted to see how I felt about it all. I was known as Golden tongue and specialised in giving both intense and unique cunigulus to women. I've been out of the game for 3 years and thinking of making a comeback! if interested in a mutual non charge meet then let me know and I'll show you why they called me Golden tongue giving you all the orgasms you can handle with my tongue. If not then thank you for reading and I hope you have a nice rest of your weekend.

All the best

Tom aka Golden tongue xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 18 August 2020, 11:04:40 am
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 15 August 2020, 05:28:16 pm


Tom aka Golden tongue xx


*screams with laughter*
OMG!  The GALL!!!!!
............................

My latest WTF message was from some pratt who wrote 'Because of Coronavirus you might be looking for a safe place to go to, so you can come live with me, I have two really good jobs all over the country and a hard fit body'

ermmmmm  who is dis?  Block.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 18 August 2020, 06:43:09 pm
Quote from: Nadya on 18 August 2020, 11:04:40 am

My latest WTF message was from some pratt who wrote 'Because of Coronavirus you might be looking for a safe place to go to, so you can come live with me, I have two really good jobs all over the country and a hard fit body'

ermmmmm  who is dis?  Block.
Of course you are.  You obviously have nowhere to live/can't find anywhere yourself. What an oppurtunity.  ::)


Today's twit:

Ever thought on being an Exclusive to someone before?

Well an exclusive is an escort who's bounded to just one client and vice versa in exchange of excellent money


....I know what exclusive means. And I'd rather stab myself than be 'bounded' to someone.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 19 August 2020, 01:18:03 am
Quote from: Hannaah on 18 August 2020, 06:43:09 pm
Of course you are.  You obviously have nowhere to live/can't find anywhere yourself. What an oppurtunity.  ::)


Today's twit:

Ever thought on being an Exclusive to someone before?

Well an exclusive is an escort who's bounded to just one client and vice versa in exchange of excellent money


....I know what exclusive means. And I'd rather stab myself than be 'bounded' to someone.  :FF

Ergh!  I get one of those exclusive enquiries about once a week ALWAYS from people making first contact and who disappear as soon as you say 'I will have to meet you first before I discuss that, so when are you booking?'

**Tumbleweed**
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 19 August 2020, 06:11:11 pm
Caller: Hi I would like to book you for 2 hours this monday but i haven’t done this sort of thing before and so have no idea of what I actually want in the booking?
Me: (exasperated) well if you don’t know what you want to do then I certainly won’t know, have you taken a look at my likes list which are the sexual services I’m willing to do in bookings?
Caller: oh I didn’t notice that, can I ask if all those services will happen?
Me: well seen as you want an incall then obviously a dinner date of off the menu, tell you what you have a look at my likes list and decide what you want to do from that and then phone me with an exact time and date that you want to book?
Caller: oh can’t we just go through all this now on the phone?
Me: I don’t discuss such things on phone..I then hung up and time wasting vibes were heavy!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hot flower on 20 August 2020, 07:54:51 am
Quote from: TantricTease on 19 August 2020, 06:11:11 pm
Caller: Hi I would like to book you for 2 hours this monday but i haven’t done this sort of thing before and so have no idea of what I actually want in the booking?
Me: (exasperated) well if you don’t know what you want to do then I certainly won’t know, have you taken a look at my likes list which are the sexual services I’m willing to do in bookings?
Caller: oh I didn’t notice that, can I ask if all those services will happen?
Me: well seen as you want an incall then obviously a dinner date of off the menu, tell you what you have a look at my likes list and decide what you want to do from that and then phone me with an exact time and date that you want to book?
Caller: oh can’t we just go through all this now on the phone?
Me: I don’t discuss such things on phone..I then hung up and time wasting vibes were heavy!
Just makes your mood sink dosnt it  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 23 August 2020, 06:49:14 pm
Via AW

Hello are you available for a 30 Min appointment On tuesday for some face sitting could you wear short skirt And panties with pantyhose tan/flesh colour or black if you dont have. Please let me know

Thank you

Geoff

1. I don't do bloody face sitting
2. I don't do outfit requests

Piss off Geoff, thanks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 23 August 2020, 08:44:27 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 23 August 2020, 06:49:14 pm
Via AW

Hello are you available for a 30 Min appointment On tuesday for some face sitting could you wear short skirt And panties with pantyhose tan/flesh colour or black if you dont have. Please let me know

Thank you

Geoff

1. I don't do bloody face sitting
2. I don't do outfit requests

Piss off Geoff, thanks

So much of this lately asking for things you don't do and usually at a time that you dont work

Geoff sounds right up my street though ... send him my way sweetie   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Emmaaa on 25 August 2020, 12:35:50 pm
Asking for free horny talk when they have made a booking. I cancelled the booking.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 25 August 2020, 03:11:04 pm
Quote from: Emmaaa on 25 August 2020, 12:35:50 pm
Asking for free horny talk when they have made a booking. I cancelled the booking.

Thet (some anyway) think that we are so dumb that they will make a fake booking for hours away and then think that we will think that he is def gonna come so we will happily engage in free wank fodder text and then damn, that pesky wife or job of his will need him and so he will have to cancel it.🙄🙄 Man they are so predictable!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sophine88 on 26 August 2020, 08:20:13 am
I’ve taken to online work recently as escorting has been a flop recently and can’t even begin to express my contempt for some men. Get guys messaging me all the time saying “I’m not interested in buying your material but would you like to meet up and I can help you make some content?” Mate you’re bald fat and middle aged. I’m 21 years of age what on earth in your minuscule brain is allowing you to think I’d ever and I mean ever want to fuck you if I want benefiting financially. Come on like it’s not shallowness at this point have a bit of cop on you’re an old fart why do you think I’d be interested din ever meeting you outside of sex work?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 26 August 2020, 12:11:16 pm
Quote from: Sophine88 on 26 August 2020, 08:20:13 am
I’ve taken to online work recently as escorting has been a flop recently and can’t even begin to express my contempt for some men. Get guys messaging me all the time saying “I’m not interested in buying your material but would you like to meet up and I can help you make some content?” Mate you’re bald fat and middle aged. I’m 21 years of age what on earth in your minuscule brain is allowing you to think I’d ever and I mean ever want to fuck you if I want benefiting financially. Come on like it’s not shallowness at this point have a bit of cop on you’re an old fart why do you think I’d be interested din ever meeting you outside of sex work?
These men are the most deluded and like I’ve said previously, women look in the mirror and tend to see themselves less attractive than they really are and I think lots of men are the complete opposite! They tend to not see what the rest of the world sees in them.  Also because you work in the sex industry then obviously to them your just a horny nympho who would shag anybody because you just love cock!! 🙄🙄
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 27 August 2020, 01:26:45 am
"Can I have a pic so I know that it's definitely you and not a fake profile?"
If my 280+ positive reviews aren't enough to convince you that I'm not fake then I don't see what difference a pic would make. There are plenty in my private gallery.

"I don't really want to pay for pics when you could just send me one?"
(From a client who wants a 3 hour booking. Next week of course)
If the £2.50 bothers you so much I'm happy to deduct it from your £340 booking fee when we meet?
*Silence*

Honestly, they think I was born yesterday. It's pretty insulting that so many of them think I'm that dumb...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 27 August 2020, 04:21:11 pm
Quote from: BJC on 27 August 2020, 01:26:45 am
"Can I have a pic so I know that it's definitely you and not a fake profile?"
If my 280+ positive reviews aren't enough to convince you that I'm not fake then I don't see what difference a pic would make. There are plenty in my private gallery.

"I don't really want to pay for pics when you could just send me one?"
(From a client who wants a 3 hour booking. Next week of course)
If the £2.50 bothers you so much I'm happy to deduct it from your £340 booking fee when we meet?
*Silence*

Honestly, they think I was born yesterday. It's pretty insulting that so many of them think I'm that dumb...

Stateside this is becoming A LOT more common, even with me & I’m well vetted. I mean, dude; type my # in Google. It’s literally that simple.

“Send me a selfie 🤳with a thumbs up 👍🏻.”
“We’ll need to FaceTime.”

Nooooo. I don’t do that. “Well, how do I know you’re real?”

Arghhhh🤦🏼‍♀️🪓!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 28 August 2020, 04:19:14 pm
Via AW this week, I'm thinking I should open a book. Who'll start me off with £20 he's a time waster?!

Him:
Hi there I’m from Gosport 30 years old married with kids and never done anything like this before. I guess I’m worried about being caught etc so wondered how discreet your location is? And also payment wise can I pay in cash? Obviously I’d rather have no trace back to me if that makes sense? Sorry for the questions :)

Me:
Hello
If you read my last field report my client talks about my.location. I only offer cash as a payment as all service providers do!
If you're that worried I'd probably suggest you give the whole a miss as you'll be too stressed to enjoy it x
Many thanks

Him:
Hi thanks for the reply, knowing I can pay cash would get rid a lot of the worry, it would then be just people recognising my car around Gosport and at the location I guess :) I’m pretty sure I would be fine and able to concentrate. The best days for me will be a Tuesday or Wednesday in September once the kids are back to school etc and between 10-4? Can I book through you/ via the emails? X

And sorry one other question as I live and work in Gosport if you were to know me or recognise me out and about I’m guessing it would just be treated as seeing a stranger around?

Me:
You're assuming that I would remember you? I certainly wouldn't approach a client, that would be unprofessional.
I suggest you contact me either the day you want a booking or the day before. You will need to text me as I'll need confirmation an hour before the booking.
My number will be up from tomorrow x
Many thanks

Him:    
Ok brilliant thank you I’ll do that... sorry first time nerves haha! X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLastTime on 29 August 2020, 06:08:18 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 29 August 2020, 08:27:36 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 28 August 2020, 04:19:14 pm
Via AW this week, I'm thinking I should open a book. Who'll start me off with £20 he's a time waster?!

Him:
Hi there I’m from Gosport 30 years old married with kids and never done anything like this before. I guess I’m worried about being caught etc so wondered how discreet your location is? And also payment wise can I pay in cash? Obviously I’d rather have no trace back to me if that makes sense? Sorry for the questions :)

Me:
Hello
If you read my last field report my client talks about my.location. I only offer cash as a payment as all service providers do!
If you're that worried I'd probably suggest you give the whole a miss as you'll be too stressed to enjoy it x
Many thanks

Him:
Hi thanks for the reply, knowing I can pay cash would get rid a lot of the worry, it would then be just people recognising my car around Gosport and at the location I guess :) I’m pretty sure I would be fine and able to concentrate. The best days for me will be a Tuesday or Wednesday in September once the kids are back to school etc and between 10-4? Can I book through you/ via the emails? X

And sorry one other question as I live and work in Gosport if you were to know me or recognise me out and about I’m guessing it would just be treated as seeing a stranger around?

Me:
You're assuming that I would remember you? I certainly wouldn't approach a client, that would be unprofessional.
I suggest you contact me either the day you want a booking or the day before. You will need to text me as I'll need confirmation an hour before the booking.
My number will be up from tomorrow x
Many thanks

Him:    
Ok brilliant thank you I’ll do that... sorry first time nerves haha! X

Cracks me the fuck up that they think (you’re correct) we’d recall them, *and* that we’d chase them down hollering, “Bob! BOB! I’m so glad I caught you! I had such an amazing time screwing you 2 months ago, when can we do it again???? Oh sorry, is this your wife & kids?”

Baffling.🤦🏼‍♀️
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 29 August 2020, 11:57:19 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 28 August 2020, 04:19:14 pm
Via AW this week, I'm thinking I should open a book. Who'll start me off with £20 he's a time waster?!

Him:
Hi there I’m from Gosport 30 years old married with kids and never done anything like this before. I guess I’m worried about being caught etc so wondered how discreet your location is? And also payment wise can I pay in cash? Obviously I’d rather have no trace back to me if that makes sense? Sorry for the questions :)

Me:
Hello
If you read my last field report my client talks about my.location. I only offer cash as a payment as all service providers do!
If you're that worried I'd probably suggest you give the whole a miss as you'll be too stressed to enjoy it x
Many thanks

Him:
Hi thanks for the reply, knowing I can pay cash would get rid a lot of the worry, it would then be just people recognising my car around Gosport and at the location I guess :) I’m pretty sure I would be fine and able to concentrate. The best days for me will be a Tuesday or Wednesday in September once the kids are back to school etc and between 10-4? Can I book through you/ via the emails? X

And sorry one other question as I live and work in Gosport if you were to know me or recognise me out and about I’m guessing it would just be treated as seeing a stranger around?

Me:
You're assuming that I would remember you? I certainly wouldn't approach a client, that would be unprofessional.
I suggest you contact me either the day you want a booking or the day before. You will need to text me as I'll need confirmation an hour before the booking.
My number will be up from tomorrow x
Many thanks

Him:    
Ok brilliant thank you I’ll do that... sorry first time nerves haha! X

I've had something almost exactly the same, maybe he just contacts randomly pretending to be from your area or close by and goes through the whole same scenario. Loads of emails thoughout the day, promising he's going to call to book when you've answered just one more lame question. Just a time wasting attention seeker.
I told him the same as you, forget it if you're that worried, it's not gonna happen
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 01 September 2020, 08:07:40 am
Nervous first timer enquires yesterday about a booking.  Won't give his name!  I said I can't agree to meeting somebody without a name ....  What a nerd!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverpoolgal123 on 02 September 2020, 12:34:18 am
Good looking regular: “fancy a freebie if your quiet?”
Me: “I’m more or less booked up today but I wouldn’t give a freebie anyway”
Now slightly less good looking ex regular: “ ah come on, you enjoy it more than me ha ha”
Me: BLOCKED
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 02 September 2020, 01:06:08 am
Quote from: Liverpoolgal123 on 02 September 2020, 12:34:18 am
Good looking regular: “fancy a freebie if your quiet?”
Me: “I’m more or less booked up today but I wouldn’t give a freebie anyway”
Now slightly less good looking ex regular: “ ah come on, you enjoy it more than me ha ha”
Me: BLOCKED

Do they do this on purpose? Are they trying to piss us off? This guy just fucked himself 90 ways to Sunday....smh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverpoolgal123 on 02 September 2020, 06:58:55 am
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 02 September 2020, 01:06:08 am
Do they do this on purpose? Are they trying to piss us off? This guy just fucked himself 90 ways to Sunday....smh.
Does my head in, felt like telling the truth that I fake the whole lot with him. Might be good looking but doesn’t know his arse from his elbow when it comes to giving real pleasure, thinks banging away fast with no foreplay does the job
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverpoolgal123 on 02 September 2020, 07:10:40 am
Semi regular At 10AM: what time you free from today
Me: After 5pm love
Semi reg: it’s 10AM and your telling me to get back at you at 5! (loads of laughing faces as he thinks I’m taking the piss)
Me: I don’t actually start till 12.30 and I have two 2 hour bookings
Now blocked semi reg: fucken hell 2 2 hour bookings ye don’t even wanna come after that ha ha ha

Blocked him after that cheeky fucker, funny thing is is that he normally likes to be my last client of the day so he can take the piss and stay over the time he’s booked knowing no one is turning up so usually he sees me after about 5 clients never mind just 2, his loss anyway! Pain in the arse always looking for discounts and wouldn’t leave when time was up
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 02 September 2020, 08:24:16 am
Quote from: Liverpoolgal123 on 02 September 2020, 06:58:55 am
Does my head in, felt like telling the truth that I fake the whole lot with him. Might be good looking but doesn’t know his arse from his elbow when it comes to giving real pleasure, thinks banging away fast with no foreplay does the job

We should be charging his type more.. way too much wear and tear!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 02 September 2020, 07:28:30 pm
Via Text

TW 1
Him:
Hey *My Name* you English

Me: I'm British, which I would have thought was obvious from my profile

Him:
You is well fit

Me:
*deep sigh and block*

TW 2 via Whatsapp (which bugs me anyway as I ask clients to message not bloody Whatsapp)

Him:
Heyyyy

Me:
Really? Do I know you?

Him:
I may have the wrong number

Me:
If you want a booking you probably need to mention it?

Him:
What's your name on there again

Me:
Didn't you contact me?

Him:
Yeah I've forgot it

Me:
Even deeper sigh and block
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 02 September 2020, 07:32:02 pm
Oh and this classic whilst I was out with my mother..

Via email
Hi can you do 30 minute incall please as soon as possible I am just leaving Southampton I’m on the M27

Me: I only work to my time sorry and if you wanted that short notice why email and not call or text?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 02 September 2020, 11:41:33 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 02 September 2020, 07:32:02 pm
Oh and this classic whilst I was out with my mother..

Via email
Hi can you do 30 minute incall please as soon as possible I am just leaving Southampton I’m on the M27

Me: I only work to my time sorry and if you wanted that short notice why email and not call or text?

Snowy ~

I turn this around on them pretty effectively lol, when they try & pull this shit on me.

*Talk talk* So when would you like to see me?

Now.

Ahh. Ok, so ... 5 minutes?

Uhhh, no. 25?

That’s not what you SAID. You said NOW.

Well I  ummm I’m errr driving & ummmm...

Don’t ask me for now. I WILL say yes. I’ll be in trouble if anyone actually calls my bluff😆😆.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 03 September 2020, 08:02:54 am
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 02 September 2020, 11:41:33 pm
Snowy ~

I turn this around on them pretty effectively lol, when they try & pull this shit on me.

*Talk talk* So when would you like to see me?

Now.

Ahh. Ok, so ... 5 minutes?

Uhhh, no. 25?

That’s not what you SAID. You said NOW.

Well I  ummm I’m errr driving & ummmm...

Don’t ask me for now. I WILL say yes. I’ll be in trouble if anyone actually calls my bluff😆😆.

Oh the  "Are you available now?"  My pet hate!  :FF

Me :  Oh so you're outside?  ( even though they have no idea where I live yet)

Him : Errrr well no.....

What is the point!?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 04 September 2020, 10:27:20 am
Quote from: Liverpoolgal123 on 02 September 2020, 12:34:18 am
Good looking regular: “fancy a freebie if your quiet?”

Why of course it makes complete sense to give someone a freebie when you've been quite and therefore not making money 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Seriously if they had a brain they'd be dangerous.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 04 September 2020, 11:13:00 am
Yeh really good business move!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: hot flower on 06 September 2020, 07:01:29 pm
Quote from: Caledonia on 04 September 2020, 10:27:20 am
Why of course it makes complete sense to give someone a freebie when you've been quite and therefore not making money 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Seriously if they had a brain they'd be dangerous.
Yes you have better things to do with your time
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 07 September 2020, 01:13:13 pm
Quote from: hot flower on 06 September 2020, 07:01:29 pm
Yes you have better things to do with your time
Yep like washing my hair  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLastTime on 07 September 2020, 05:22:45 pm
Dude rings up and makes an appt.

Then bizarre convo:

Him: Are you suntanned?

Me: You’ve seen my pics so...

Him: I think you are...

Me: Busted it’s obvious you don’t know who you are calling as I obviously am not suntanned...

Him: HANGS UP

Turns out he has oodles of spam reports which didn’t show up as the wifi is so crap here.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 07 September 2020, 06:25:45 pm
Quote from: BJC on 27 August 2020, 01:26:45 am
"I don't really want to pay for pics when you could just send me one?"
(From a client who wants a 3 hour booking. Next week of course)
If the £2.50 bothers you so much I'm happy to deduct it from your £340 booking fee when we meet?
*Silence*...
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 07 September 2020, 06:28:45 pm
Quote from: Caledonia on 04 September 2020, 10:27:20 am
Why of course it makes complete sense to give someone a freebie when you've been quite and therefore not making money...
Exactly, haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 07 September 2020, 06:29:03 pm
Quote from: Lushblossom on 04 September 2020, 11:13:00 am
Yeh really good business move!
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 07 September 2020, 09:16:55 pm
Subject:    Sexy

Hi




That's it. :FF Fuck off. I thought I'd have more patience than usual after a 6 month break to deal with the twats, but it seems I have even less!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: eva1982 on 09 September 2020, 05:39:52 pm
Hey Eva, absolutely love your figure, you look amazing. Totally genuine Brighton guy here, just wanted to say that in my current situation I can’t afford your prices, but if you need a mature guy for videos, pics, webcam or to perform in front of clients, I’d be happy to join you if you could offer me a better price.

I’m 50, slim, well endowed, good looking enough and happy to send full naked pics if you ask.

Hope to meet you soon!

My prices are fairly low anyway from what I’ve been told by other clients and starting a message by haggling, having to confirm he’s genuine, and bragging about being well endowed... ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 09 September 2020, 06:44:10 pm
Quote from: eva1982 on 09 September 2020, 05:39:52 pm
Hey Eva, absolutely love your figure, you look amazing. Totally genuine Brighton guy here, just wanted to say that in my current situation I can’t afford your prices, but if you need a mature guy for videos, pics, webcam or to perform in front of clients, I’d be happy to join you if you could offer me a better price.

I’m 50, slim, well endowed, good looking enough and happy to send full naked pics if you ask.

Hope to meet you soon!

My prices are fairly low anyway from what I’ve been told by other clients and starting a message by haggling, having to confirm he’s genuine, and bragging about being well endowed... ::)

How deluded some men can be never ceases to amaze me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 09 September 2020, 07:21:40 pm
Why do they think I want to see their feckin pictures too?  I have had a few men say they are 'happy to send pics'  Mate, I don't give a toss what you look like.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 09 September 2020, 07:29:00 pm
Quote from: eva1982 on 09 September 2020, 05:39:52 pm
...Totally genuine Brighton guy here, just wanted to say that in my current situation I can’t afford your prices, but if you need a mature guy for videos, pics, webcam or to perform in front of clients, I’d be happy to join you if you could offer me a better price...
Well, if you don't want him Eva, please send him my way!
It's the "genuine Brighton guy" that sells the guy for me, personally - my dream come true... ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 09 September 2020, 07:30:07 pm
Quote from: Nadya on 09 September 2020, 07:21:40 pm
Why do they think I want to see their feckin pictures too?  I have had a few men say they are 'happy to send pics'  Mate, I don't give a toss what you look like.
Exactly!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 09 September 2020, 08:38:55 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 09 September 2020, 07:29:00 pm
Well, if you don't want him Eva, please send him my way!
It's the "genuine Brighton guy" that sells the guy for me, personally - my dream come true... ;D

Yeah, the 'genuine' ones are always fake. Always!  ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 09 September 2020, 11:22:53 pm
Just had these two absolute beauties within 10 minutes of each other :

---------
Subject: newly married

Hi,�

I have never cheated on my wife... dated for 9yrs, got married in Feb. Always cheated before her and would LOVE to break my wedding vows with you...�

Homewrecking? Nonconsent? Pregnancy risk? All of the above? I am really keen to be as bad as possible with you... I love roleplay... cheating ones where you pretend to be my wife's bestfriend or colleague or younger sister, control ones where I am your dr or teacher, consentual nonconsent, caught short, desperate to pee and therefore weeing in front of me on the floor or the bed... anything that means you end up naked, cuming on my married tongue and then dripping my cum from your tight little pussy...

Love the idea of eating your pussy... fingering you so my wedding ring caresses your clit while you slag her off...�

Would you meet? Can you whatsapp?�

XxxxxxX

//

Subject:
Filth

Would you piss in my mouth, force me to rim you (facesit) eat you out, foot job and fuck x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 11 September 2020, 12:37:17 am
Quote from: EveEveEve on 09 September 2020, 11:22:53 pm
Just had these two absolute beauties within 10 minutes of each other :

---------
Subject: newly married

Hi,�

I have never cheated on my wife... dated for 9yrs, got married in Feb. Always cheated before her and would LOVE to break my wedding vows with you...�

Homewrecking? Nonconsent? Pregnancy risk? All of the above? I am really keen to be as bad as possible with you... I love roleplay... cheating ones where you pretend to be my wife's bestfriend or colleague or younger sister, control ones where I am your dr or teacher, consentual nonconsent, caught short, desperate to pee and therefore weeing in front of me on the floor or the bed... anything that means you end up naked, cuming on my married tongue and then dripping my cum from your tight little pussy...

Love the idea of eating your pussy... fingering you so my wedding ring caresses your clit while you slag her off...�

Would you meet? Can you whatsapp?�

XxxxxxX

//

Subject:
Filth

Would you piss in my mouth, force me to rim you (facesit) eat you out, foot job and fuck x

Why in the name of all that’s holy did he get married??😳
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 11 September 2020, 09:22:06 pm
This one is an absolute beauty...

Dear Grace,

I hope you are well. I had messaged you back in February about potentially meeting. You had kindly responded positively despite the nil experience I have on this site. I did not, however end up booking an appointment. I am messaging you today after reading your blog post. I was just taken aback by the wisdom, and truthfulness of your words. I could relate to many of the points especially the first and last. The first is the most painful to experience, and the toughest to learn.
I must say that your profile is the reason why I signed up to AW, your words and the choice of your quotation instantly grasped my attention and I felt a massive attraction towards you. Compounded by your beautiful and sexy pictures you are truthfully un-resistible. Admittedly the reason I did not book an appointment with you is because I am in a relationship. Yet here I am sending you this message, often checking your profile and fantasising about an encounter with you. I wonder if I should act on my desires and spend time with you or let my imagination do the work. Would you care to share your wisdom on this dilemma.
I hope reading this was not a waste of your time.

I haven't replied as for once, I have no idea how to respond!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DeWinter on 12 September 2020, 01:18:10 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 11 September 2020, 09:22:06 pm
This one is an absolute beauty...

Dear Grace,

I hope you are well. I had messaged you back in February about potentially meeting. You had kindly responded positively despite the nil experience I have on this site. I did not, however end up booking an appointment. I am messaging you today after reading your blog post. I was just taken aback by the wisdom, and truthfulness of your words. I could relate to many of the points especially the first and last. The first is the most painful to experience, and the toughest to learn.
I must say that your profile is the reason why I signed up to AW, your words and the choice of your quotation instantly grasped my attention and I felt a massive attraction towards you. Compounded by your beautiful and sexy pictures you are truthfully un-resistible. Admittedly the reason I did not book an appointment with you is because I am in a relationship. Yet here I am sending you this message, often checking your profile and fantasising about an encounter with you. I wonder if I should act on my desires and spend time with you or let my imagination do the work. Would you care to share your wisdom on this dilemma.
I hope reading this was not a waste of your time.

I haven't replied as for once, I have no idea how to respond!

Looks like he wants you to "convince" him or beg him to see you, and I highly doubt it's going to materialise in a real booking anyway. Total fantasist. I'd say not replying at all. If he really wants a booking that much he'll ask for one properly.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 12 September 2020, 01:26:40 pm
I got a text a few days ago about an outcall but the area the man was in exceeded my travel time and I told him so, he was perfectly okay and understanding about this, or so I thought because 10 mins later he then whats apped me and said “would a few lines of coke and some vodka change your mind” :FF and I replied “sorry no, it’s about the area your in and my travel time, as stated on MY PROFILE which you must have missed”..he is all well and good...or again, so I thought because about 3 hours later he whats apps me his picture and says “just showing you what you missed out on, are you sure you don’t wanna come to me”, well I messaged back and said “honey if £150 for an hour didn’t get me to come to you then a picture of you ain’t gonna do it either seen as I’m a sex worker who has sex for money for that one thing: MONEY”, and then I blocked him! Give me strength!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 12 September 2020, 02:04:53 pm
Moron phones me twice late evening last night and then texts me to ask if I was working this weekend. It was a sensible text so I replied this morning asking him to phone. He then texts again to say what he wants and could I do it for 30  ::) ::) but he'll pay more next visit.

He didn't get a response  :D  :D

They're such cheeky twats and what annoys me the most is they act like they're doing you a favour!!! Of course I'm going to give up my precious weekend time to see you for less than my rate you utter knobhead  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLastTime on 12 September 2020, 02:32:08 pm
Received this illiterate gem via email

wow bby you are fucking hot love your body cant wait to suck on your sexy nipples and lick your sexy tight butt and pussy
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverpoolgal123 on 12 September 2020, 04:30:32 pm
“Will you do 15 minutes for 40” (my rate is 50)

No “hello”, no “nice profile”, no “I’d really like to see you“

If your trying to get money knocked off when we’ve never even met,  the least you could do is throw a compliment my way
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 13 September 2020, 01:17:49 am
The message thread in it's entirety...:


HIM: You are absolut fire I must admit your fit as hell

ME: Hello, thanks. How can I help you?

HIM: Do you do security discount ?

ME: What is security discount?

HIM: It actually doesn't matter it doesn't actually just sometimes when I work I some can stuff free like alcohol at the venue I work takeaway money that people and forgot about and shit etc

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Ummmm... I THINK he's trying to say he works security for a takeaway venue and he steals from the customers and he can...pay me with that? Whatever, I ignored.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 15 September 2020, 01:27:50 pm
I have an underwear fetish,
Okay ...
Do you sell used knickers?
Yes, ten pound a pair,
I'm coming to your town this week. Can I buy seven pairs?
Okay,
One for each day of the week?
 ::) ::)
Okay, you can pick them all up in one go after your booking.
Er, can't I come round each day for them? I don't actually want a booking.
No, that's not convenient.
Why?
 ::) ::)
I have other things to do. Bye!

Do these absolute morons expect us to take them seriously?!?!
Who the hell does that?  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SaraLondonGFE on 16 September 2020, 11:57:53 am
HIM: I would like to make a booking? Are you free within 30 minutes?
ME: Yes, I am. But as I wrote few things on my profile I have to ask few questions. Are you Black?
HIM: No (long laugh). Shower facilities? Shower?  Well if you send me your postcode it's fine if not it's ok as I am feeling uncomfortable.
ME: I just asked simple question. When you guys are asking me plenty of them you expect me to answer.

They think that they are the only one in charge and that we can't have our rules? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 16 September 2020, 03:56:13 pm
I really don't understand the normalisation of asking someone if they are black?

*smh*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 16 September 2020, 04:05:52 pm
Quote from: Nadya on 16 September 2020, 03:56:13 pm
I really don't understand the normalisation of asking someone if they are black?

*smh*

Because some people discriminate against punters for varying reasons, ethnicity being one of them (and age being another, for example). If you didn't realise this there are plenty of threads on the board about it; most of them are locked but a search for something like 'racist' should fetch them up and this one can get back on track :).

I (still) have no idea what 'smh' means ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 16 September 2020, 04:46:48 pm
It means Shaking my head.

And I love this thread (usually).  :P

So I will add to it:

Him -  Can you contact me on KIK, my name is X on there.
Me -  I am not on kik, would you like to make a booking.
Him - After I get to know you.

.....

Him - Long preamble about how attractive my pictures are  I would like to discuss with you having an ongoing relationship, I want a woman who will do N things to me, would you be up for that?

Me - I provide that service but I don't consider ongoing situations with someone I haven't met before.

Him - Tumbleweed

......

Him - Would you like the best oral you have ever had in your life?
Me -  Are you making a booking?
Him - I don't need to pay, I am a good looking man, I am offering you this service for free.
Me - Laughs until I cough up a lung

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 16 September 2020, 05:50:32 pm
I don’t get it either, but if I ask any ??s I’ll probably get yelled at.

Him - Would you like the best oral you have ever had in your life?
Me -  Are you making a booking?
Him - I don't need to pay, I am a good looking man, I am offering you this service for free.
Me - Laughs until I cough up a lung
[/quote]

I had 1 who tried negotiating, nope nope nope. He then sent me an unasked for picture and proceeded to tell me, “Now that you’ve seen me, don’t you think the lower donation is acceptable?” (Bc he was *so good looking*.)

Yeahhhhh....no.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 17 September 2020, 12:21:16 am
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 16 September 2020, 05:50:32 pm


I had 1 who tried negotiating, nope nope nope. He then sent me an unasked for picture and proceeded to tell me, “Now that you’ve seen me, don’t you think the lower donation is acceptable?” (Bc he was *so good looking*.)

Yeahhhhh....no.

Yeah, I read the other day those words the other day I always hate to read in an interaction. 

"What's the best price you can offer"?

Urgh.....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BethElizabeth on 17 September 2020, 09:27:53 am
Him: ‘Hi, would you consider seeing me for free as I don’t have any spare money due to losing my job because of Covid.’

Me: ‘No sorry, I don’t work for free.’

Him: ‘I understand that but as I said, I lost my job so I’m not sure how you expect me to have the money to see you? And I really want to have sex with you.’

I honestly don’t know why I even bothered replying to his initial text.... :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 17 September 2020, 09:51:36 am
Quote from: BethElizabeth on 17 September 2020, 09:27:53 am
Him: ‘Hi, would you consider seeing me for free as I don’t have any spare money due to losing my job because of Covid.’

Me: ‘No sorry, I don’t work for free.’

Him: ‘I understand that but as I said, I lost my job so I’m not sure how you expect me to have the money to see you? And I really want to have sex with you.’

I honestly don’t know why I even bothered replying to his initial text.... :FF

I find it extremely difficult not to reply with utter contempt to these sorts of pricks but I have found that it is less stressful than trying to explain your position to someone like this, you cannot argue with stupid or crazy!  People hate being ignored, I know I do so I imagine that these types do too, it’s for the best!

Covid sure has brought so many arseholes out lately! I am getting umpteen emails on AW from guys with zero feedback, some just opened their accounts and of course as there is no booking system just now then they cannot help this and everyone started at zero, but then there are some with accounts over 2 years old, which screams timewaster to me, it’s madness at the minute!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 17 September 2020, 09:52:27 am
Him - Sent at 1:20am Are you available now?

I am outcall only.....

Good effin grief..... :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 18 September 2020, 09:19:21 pm
The usual selection of nonsense..

All via tex

Him: Hey Lisa you availible today
Me: Who the fuck is Lisa?

Him: I see you have a liking for literary classics?
Me: Which classics? I prefer crime novels to be honest
Him: I'm quite partial to a bit of criminal non fiction myself/ & was just pertaining to your Bronte quote love
Me: I know what you were pertaining to, but I'm not a massive Bronte fan
Him: Well it snds like you have a greater awareness than most. I'm quite far frm being culturally enlightened
Me: Do you want a booking then?
Him: I'll give you plenty of notice if I can get over your way babe. Thanks
Me: Massive sigh and begin banging head on the table


Hi,

I could not notice you look gorgeous... I am sure you get 100s of messages like that from thirsty guys, but hear me out, please ;)

Cut to the chase: I would like to ask you if you are up for a photoshoot? Some new portrait pics and NOT just to here! To your social media, etc... fashion stlye, or any creative ones... (also likes garanteed ;)

I am experienced photographer and if you like the idea, message me back and i can show you my insta...

I DONT NEED ANYTHING BACK, and YOU CAN HAVE THE PICS TOO!

An why you? you look great and i would like to work with a fit and pretty girl...


Kind regards,
Peter

Hi
You are gorgeous and I would love to have a photo session with you. Would this be possible? Please say yes
John x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PassionFlower on 19 September 2020, 10:18:58 am
My daily weirds -

"I hope you don’t mind if I share with you the fantasy/dream I have wanted to realise all my life and I’m hoping I can pay you to realise it using the KIK app for me please?

I hope you are not shocked with this fantasy of mine and are not put off by me using the word ‘prostitute’, which is a word I really love and respect.
Here goes: I have always wanted to have a girlfriend who is a prostitute.
This is because I have so much pride and respect for prostitutes and all the good work they do.
If there were ten men queuing up for an appointment with you outside your apartment love, I would happily wait in that queue all day for an appointment to see you and I would feel so proud of you while waiting.
If you were my girlfriend, I would be so proud of you for all the good work you do as prostitute. ??

I’m happy to pay you the right price for meets, video chat & pictures.
Plus I’m happy to pay you a small monthly fee via PayPal to have you as an honest & open friend on KIK to get just a few messages from you each day please telling me how you are, what you have been upto, the number of clients you have seen and been submissive to, so I can feel really proud of you darling and feel like I have a girlfriend who is a prostitute. ??
I’m not asking for you to tell me all the details of what you get upto with clients in your bedroom. I’m just asking for you to be honest with me and tell me the number of clients you see, what you enjoyed about the experiences or what you disliked about them. I just need to know what is on your heart darling like real soulmates.
I would also love to pay you for pictures of yourself in submissive postures or even for pictures of you being submissive to someone else, so I can feel really proud of you love.
Hopefully we can meet up a few times a year also for romantic times between us, which I will happily pay you for separately darling.
Please let me know what you think about being a really close intimate friend and realising my fantasy darling? xx ??"

And

"I could do a big Rendition of this directly onto your Bedroom wall or on paper which you could have Framed i could do it in Black and white which might look more Erotic on your Bedroom wall its up to you x
Alan" with an attatched pic from my AW profile showing me wearing stiletto boots and PVC stockings and suspender belt...

Anyone want a clingy cuck boyfriend or erotic wall art of unknown quality?  Because I'm just here for cash lol

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 19 September 2020, 05:45:27 pm
Quote from: PassionFlower on 19 September 2020, 10:18:58 am
My daily weirds -

"I hope you don’t mind if I share with you the fantasy/dream I have wanted to realise all my life and I’m hoping I can pay you to realise it using the KIK app for me please?

I hope you are not shocked with this fantasy of mine and are not put off by me using the word ‘prostitute’, which is a word I really love and respect.
Here goes: I have always wanted to have a girlfriend who is a prostitute.
This is because I have so much pride and respect for prostitutes and all the good work they do.
If there were ten men queuing up for an appointment with you outside your apartment love, I would happily wait in that queue all day for an appointment to see you and I would feel so proud of you while waiting.
If you were my girlfriend, I would be so proud of you for all the good work you do as prostitute. ??

I’m happy to pay you the right price for meets, video chat & pictures.
Plus I’m happy to pay you a small monthly fee via PayPal to have you as an honest & open friend on KIK to get just a few messages from you each day please telling me how you are, what you have been upto, the number of clients you have seen and been submissive to, so I can feel really proud of you darling and feel like I have a girlfriend who is a prostitute. ??
I’m not asking for you to tell me all the details of what you get upto with clients in your bedroom. I’m just asking for you to be honest with me and tell me the number of clients you see, what you enjoyed about the experiences or what you disliked about them. I just need to know what is on your heart darling like real soulmates.
I would also love to pay you for pictures of yourself in submissive postures or even for pictures of you being submissive to someone else, so I can feel really proud of you love.
Hopefully we can meet up a few times a year also for romantic times between us, which I will happily pay you for separately darling.
Please let me know what you think about being a really close intimate friend and realising my fantasy darling? xx ??"

And

"I could do a big Rendition of this directly onto your Bedroom wall or on paper which you could have Framed i could do it in Black and white which might look more Erotic on your Bedroom wall its up to you x
Alan" with an attatched pic from my AW profile showing me wearing stiletto boots and PVC stockings and suspender belt...

Anyone want a clingy cuck boyfriend or erotic wall art of unknown quality?  Because I'm just here for cash lol

xx

Ewwww!!!! Ewwwwww!!! That’s sooooo creepy!!!! *runs around acking*

I’ve had a few ask me during sessions, “How many men have you fucked today/this week?” which I feel is just beyond crass or boorish. Both times I’ve replied, “37!”

They express amazement slash disbelief and I say oh gosh you know...that IS wrong.

SEVENTY THREE.

They’ve stopped after that.

So crass, man.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 20 September 2020, 06:23:30 pm
Quote from: PassionFlower on 19 September 2020, 10:18:58 am
My daily weirds -

OMG that is SOOOOOOO gross.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 23 September 2020, 02:03:53 pm
Hi I have £50 for half hour if you can show me a good time this weekend ? X


Yeah, I'd love to show you a good time for less than my rate and on days I'm not even available.  ::)

The amount of people I'm getting recently trying to dictate the price. I don't think so.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 23 September 2020, 05:36:47 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 23 September 2020, 02:03:53 pm
The amount of people I'm getting recently trying to dictate the price. I don't think so.

Nothing flips my bitch switch quicker than that.  I even had one who went through the whole booking conversation , asked how much it was, asked some more questions, told me his location, time and date and then at the end wrote "And that would be £80"

Not a question, not a negotiation but a 'This is what I am spending on you peasant!'

I was FAR more polite then, than I would be now I can tell you!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 23 September 2020, 06:40:25 pm
Hey how are you just checking you out I've got a fantasty at the moment of
having a big mature woman like you it be my first time as well do you fancy
letting me have a free trial be a regular if you are as good as your say do you
have a drink as well xx

Reader, I did not reply...  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 24 September 2020, 02:11:07 am
An exchange that I tolerated. I am almost certain he's contacted me before.


HIM: Hello, may I ask if you get many requests for squashing, trampling and butt drops?

ME: Yes I do. Please note I am not taking any bookings right now.

HIM: I haven't seen any vids like that of yours. People too scared? Lol

ME: They all wanted me to trample a real person and I don't work with anyone else on video or cam, just solo.

HIM: So you wouldn't make a video like that?

ME: If the person ordering the custom video was happy with me doing it all alone, yes. Although I can't do butt drops. Are you wanting a real-time meet?

HIM: Ok, how come you can't do butt drops? If you don't mind me asking

ME: It would disable me.

HIM: Lol I'm sure it wouldn't plus with something like that it's best to build your confidence in letting your self go so you should maybe try doing them while the person is on a ottoman or something

[this is pretty much where I lost my shit. Build my confidence??! Let myself go??! Patronising little shit...]

ME: Nothing to do with "letting myself go". It's a medical fact, would you like the number of my rheumatology specialist to dispute it?

HIM: Sorry you sound like your offended

ME: So did you want a booking? Or were you thinking of ordering a SOLO custom clip?

HIM: I wasn't trying to offend you. I thought you said it would disable you light heartedly

[I screamed internally. LIGHT HEARTED DISABLEMENT?!?!]

HIM AGAIN: I actually wanted to offer my services:) I've been getting squashed, trampled, butt dropped for around 14 years with the heaviest lady being over 45 stone. So if you ever need someone then please keep me in mind, if not then no problem either way:)


Aaaaaaand BLOCK. Some would say I should have blocked earlier, but I wanted to see where this went. And it really has went.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PassionFlower on 24 September 2020, 12:03:18 pm
From a client I have seen 2 or 3 times when he's visiting the North East from London:

Quote
Good evening,

How you doing?

I think we have discussed in the past as well but I want to ask again if you can come to London for hotel outcall please ?

It’s not going to be overnight but it would be 3 hours?

I am happy to pay your train return travel charges in advance.

If we can meet up after 10pm for 3 hours ? And you can stay in same hotel for sleep until next day and I will be back after 3 hours meeting with you?

I am saying because you will have rest also and next day you can travel back to Newcastle.

Please do let me know if you can make it ?

And then we can discuss about rest.

Thanks and take care

xxxx

So a 6 to 8 hour round trip in the middle of a pandemic from a relatively sparsely populated area (Northumberland) to the busiest city in the UK for a 3 hour booking in a hotel where I may fall afoul of the household mingling rules...?

Yeah, I'm going to want danger money for that lol xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 24 September 2020, 12:49:38 pm
Quote from: Nadya on 23 September 2020, 05:36:47 pm
Nothing flips my bitch switch quicker than that.  I even had one who went through the whole booking conversation , asked how much it was, asked some more questions, told me his location, time and date and then at the end wrote "And that would be £80"

Not a question, not a negotiation but a 'This is what I am spending on you peasant!'

I was FAR more polite then, than I would be now I can tell you!

It drives me crazier than hagglers do. At least hagglers ask for a lower price (which is still infuriating) rather than tell you what they're going to spend. No love, I don't think you will decide my rates for me!

Quote from: Kay on 23 September 2020, 06:40:25 pm
Hey how are you just checking you out I've got a fantasty at the moment of
having a big mature woman like you it be my first time as well do you fancy
letting me have a free trial be a regular if you are as good as your say do you
have a drink as well xx

Reader, I did not reply...  :D
A free trial?  ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLastTime on 24 September 2020, 01:28:14 pm
My pet hate, guys who slag off other escorts  >:( The type of guy I never see because he is putting all the pressure on the escort to provide a good time.

Not to mention I’m not even offering kissing at the moment. Obviously he’s cut-and-paste and bombarded every escort he can see with this email, and not to be pedantic but he can’t even string a sentence together.

Yeah sounds like my dream guy who I would connect with in every way. Dream booking  ::)


Hi
48 just turned white British guy recently I’ve visited a handful of escorts in my personal opinion they’ve been boring! So I’ll tell you what I want quite simply a woman I can get between the bed sheets lock legs have plenty of kissing deep meaningful snogging where upon we both get turned on sweaty a true gfe have sex and explore one another that is all I ask I just feel of late when you visit an escort it’s mechanical same routine. Not much to ask but could you accommodate that?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 24 September 2020, 02:16:02 pm
Quote from: PassionFlower on 24 September 2020, 12:03:18 pm
From a client I have seen 2 or 3 times when he's visiting the North East from London:

So a 6 to 8 hour round trip in the middle of a pandemic from a relatively sparsely populated area (Northumberland) to the busiest city in the UK for a 3 hour booking in a hotel where I may fall afoul of the household mingling rules...?

Yeah, I'm going to want danger money for that lol xx

@ danger money  ;D ;D

That person would still be charged my overnight fee - even though it is not an overnight - would still get my moneys worth with all those hours lost traveling to and fro and not making any money seeing other clients too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PassionFlower on 24 September 2020, 05:12:22 pm
Quote from: Dynamite Doll on 24 September 2020, 02:16:02 pm
@ danger money  ;D ;D

That person would still be charged my overnight fee - even though it is not an overnight - would still get my moneys worth with all those hours lost traveling to and fro and not making any money seeing other clients too.
I asked for a quite frankly daft amount of money, knowing he wouldn't go for it lol

Instead he's going to come up to me for an incall with the following caveat
Quote
If I come to you then you have to treat me as special guest lol
  ::) xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 24 September 2020, 07:49:18 pm
Quote from: PassionFlower on 24 September 2020, 05:12:22 pm
Instead he's going to come up to me for an incall with the following caveat   ::) xx

That would put me off seeing him altogether.  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLastTime on 24 September 2020, 09:02:20 pm
Give me strength. Missed a call, text my availability, get this in return...

I dont want a booking for today. Just wanted to get to know you a bit over the phone. Ill contact you again in a couple of weeks. Thanks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 24 September 2020, 09:12:46 pm
Quote from: TheLastTime on 24 September 2020, 09:02:20 pm
Give me strength. Missed a call, text my availability, get this in return...

I dont want a booking for today. Just wanted to get to know you a bit over the phone. Ill contact you again in a couple of weeks. Thanks

I’ve had this same request so many time recently. ??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 25 September 2020, 12:48:00 pm
Quote from: TheLastTime on 24 September 2020, 09:02:20 pm
Give me strength. Missed a call, text my availability, get this in return...

I dont want a booking for today. Just wanted to get to know you a bit over the phone. Ill contact you again in a couple of weeks. Thanks

Is this the same bloke who contacted me some days ago.......'I want to get to know you'?  Are you Fing kidding me?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 25 September 2020, 02:01:05 pm
Quote from: Nadya on 25 September 2020, 12:48:00 pm
Is this the same bloke who contacted me some days ago.......'I want to get to know you'?  Are you Fing kidding me?

Fine as long as its  on phone chat at ££  per minute  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 25 September 2020, 02:32:41 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 24 September 2020, 07:49:18 pm
That would put me off seeing him altogether.  :-X

Same here.
Normally I would have a witty yet rude reply but at times feel like not worth it with such idiots.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 25 September 2020, 03:35:45 pm
My aim was to accept all reasonable callers today even if they have irritating flaws as I'm usually highly selective.

He texted despite the first line on my profile saying don't text. I texted him to ring which he did. I asked him if he'd read the profile and he says 'are we going to talk forever' I asked him to repeat it so he could  remember his manners.Nope he repeated it .so i told him to fuck off.

Then a regular of four years who pays well chose to haggle a few weeks ago wanting 'corinovirus rates' and quoting the chancellors VAT cut. Today he opened the convo with 'time has passed' as if his money grubbing was forgotten, I told him I wasn't seeing him again.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 28 September 2020, 09:27:44 am
Nervous first timer enquiring 'how to go about booking'.  I explained we need to know age name and occupation(the latter because of the pandemic).  When I further enquire 'length of meet' he thinks I mean the length of his own meat and replies 'slightly under 9 inches' lol.

It was rather amusing ....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 28 September 2020, 09:56:11 am
Quote from: Lushblossom on 28 September 2020, 09:27:44 am
Nervous first timer enquiring 'how to go about booking'.  I explained we need to know age name and occupation(the latter because of the pandemic).  When I further enquire 'length of meet' he thinks I mean the length of his own meat and replies 'slightly under 9 inches' lol.

It was rather amusing ....

This really made me laugh my head off! Brilliant.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 28 September 2020, 01:07:54 pm
Quote from: Lushblossom on 28 September 2020, 09:27:44 am
Nervous first timer enquiring 'how to go about booking'.  I explained we need to know age name and occupation(the latter because of the pandemic).  When I further enquire 'length of meet' he thinks I mean the length of his own meat and replies 'slightly under 9 inches' lol.

It was rather amusing ....

Absolutely priceless!  Love it!   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PassionFlower on 28 September 2020, 05:59:12 pm
Quote from: Lushblossom on 28 September 2020, 09:27:44 am
Nervous first timer enquiring 'how to go about booking'.  I explained we need to know age name and occupation(the latter because of the pandemic).  When I further enquire 'length of meet' he thinks I mean the length of his own meat and replies 'slightly under 9 inches' lol.

It was rather amusing ....

I genuinely laughed out loud! xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 01 October 2020, 08:19:30 pm
Him "I would like to book you for an outcall tomorrow night. If you are able to bring a friend I would pay £160 for that"

(Oh?  I didn't know I gave him the ability to set both mine and this mythical other woman's prices.)

Me "Each"

Him " No, altogether.

Me *laughing my ass off*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 01 October 2020, 11:30:27 pm
Quote from: Nadya on 01 October 2020, 08:19:30 pm
Him "I would like to book you for an outcall tomorrow night. If you are able to bring a friend I would pay £160 for that"

(Oh?  I didn't know I gave him the ability to set both mine and this mythical other woman's prices.)

Me "Each"

Him " No, altogether.

Me *laughing my ass off*

FFS  £80 each to drag your asses miles over to his possibly shitty place and if he is that skint he most likely wont be up to much either... What are these guys on!???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 02 October 2020, 08:29:23 am
Quote from: fallen angel on 01 October 2020, 11:30:27 pm
FFS  £80 each to drag your asses miles over to his possibly shitty place and if he is that skint he most likely wont be up to much either... What are these guys on!???

It's not even that I don't think, I had someone ask me before to 'bring a friend'  when I instructed him to look at said friends profile he told me that he didn't want a sex worker  (because they only do it for the money, whereas 'I' do it for the sex he said, as if meeting me one time before gives him some insight into my mind and motivations.  I had to correct him and say, I absolutely do it for the money).

These blokes think we have a cache of 'mates' on hand that will have sex with strangers that don't want/need to be paid. Or we would be happy to share our money with her because it's half the work right?  It's cloud Cocoland!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 02 October 2020, 10:34:52 am
Oh and apparently he wanted a 30 minute booking, because yes, 30 min. threesomes are a thing now.

Twat!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 02 October 2020, 03:47:29 pm
Quote from: Nadya on 02 October 2020, 08:29:23 am
It's not even that I don't think, I had someone ask me before to 'bring a friend'  when I instructed him to look at said friends profile he told me that he didn't want a sex worker  (because they only do it for the money, whereas 'I' do it for the sex he said, as if meeting me one time before gives him some insight into my mind and motivations.  I had to correct him and say, I absolutely do it for the money).

These blokes think we have a cache of 'mates' on hand that will have sex with strangers that don't want/need to be paid. Or we would be happy to share our money with her because it's half the work right?  It's cloud Cocoland!

We just can't win can we?
 If we are business like and don't really connect with them they say it's poor service and if we put on our best oscar winning performance that we are really enjoying our time with them they think we are totally into them and would likely do it for free!
So deluded!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 02 October 2020, 05:46:17 pm
This one today, I'm assuming he didn't expect the response he got..

Him:
Hi lady snowblood you english babe x

Me:
Have you read my profile?

Him:
It cut off

Me:
It cut off? Yes, I'm quite clearly British

Him:
Do you see black im 38

Me:
Do I see a black what? Sorry you've confused me

Him:
Sorry im black not all white ladys see black xx

Me:
I don't give a shit what colour you are, as long as you're respectful, clean and punctual

Him:
Disappeared in a puff of disappointment?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 02 October 2020, 05:51:14 pm
And this chancer...

Hello xx
I've been looking at your profile on AW so I'm sending you a email as the preferred means of communication.

Forgive the boldness but I like what I read and see and am hoping that you will consider meeting me. I live in the Guildford area and am wanting to meet a lady whose sexual desires and delights match mine as I would love to make the meet regular as this is my preferred style.

About me........ I'm a retired executive with a zest for life, very young at heart, slim build, fit, have all my own bits (hehe) good cook especially with a glass or two !!!!

I adore everthing about the ladies, looks smile eyes lips and value and appreciate all there is about a lady.
Sexually I'm more of a giver than receiver and revel in licking sucking your erroginious places so I can taste and swallow your sex juices. I like the lady to be vocal expressive and fully interactive with no inhibititions or hang ups.

Please do not get cross or upset but I need to explain why I'm asking this delicate question. I have an allergy to condoms as if my lips come into contact with parts of your body that condoms have they turn blue. As my love is giving oral throughout a meet, alternating between penetration and oral giving, my request is..... Will you conside BB/Unprotected? I know this is a big ask but please do not get offended as I want to be able to give of my very best. I've had a vacsectomy and am extremely aware and conscious of nasty diseases and am scrupulously hygiene attentive.

I can only meet weekday daytime and always do advance booking as I have to be very discreet and careful. I'm sorry for the long email but I did want you to have a complete picture. Kisses Tim xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 02 October 2020, 10:15:48 pm
So Snowy, you’re gonna see him, of course?🤷🏼‍♀️ 😆 Bc I know you can’t pass up all of THAT🙄.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 02 October 2020, 10:55:44 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 02 October 2020, 10:15:48 pm
So Snowy, you’re gonna see him, of course?🤷🏼‍♀️ 😆 Bc I know you can’t pass up all of THAT🙄.

OBS Celeste, can't fucking wait! LMAO
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 03 October 2020, 10:20:08 am
Oh good grief,  is there a barebacker playbook where they pick from,  I have had very similar long winded posts about how awesome they are before they ask for bb.

Amazing how many men are allergic to condoms in this population, far more than the general public.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 03 October 2020, 02:51:16 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 02 October 2020, 05:51:14 pm
And this chancer...

Hello xx
I've been looking at your profile on AW so I'm sending you a email as the preferred means of communication.

Forgive the boldness but I like what I read and see and am hoping that you will consider meeting me. I live in the Guildford area and am wanting to meet a lady whose sexual desires and delights match mine as I would love to make the meet regular as this is my preferred style.

About me........ I'm a retired executive with a zest for life, very young at heart, slim build, fit, have all my own bits (hehe) good cook especially with a glass or two !!!!

I adore everthing about the ladies, looks smile eyes lips and value and appreciate all there is about a lady.
Sexually I'm more of a giver than receiver and revel in licking sucking your erroginious places so I can taste and swallow your sex juices. I like the lady to be vocal expressive and fully interactive with no inhibititions or hang ups.

Please do not get cross or upset but I need to explain why I'm asking this delicate question. I have an allergy to condoms as if my lips come into contact with parts of your body that condoms have they turn blue. As my love is giving oral throughout a meet, alternating between penetration and oral giving, my request is..... Will you conside BB/Unprotected? I know this is a big ask but please do not get offended as I want to be able to give of my very best. I've had a vacsectomy and am extremely aware and conscious of nasty diseases and am scrupulously hygiene attentive.

I can only meet weekday daytime and always do advance booking as I have to be very discreet and careful. I'm sorry for the long email but I did want you to have a complete picture. Kisses Tim xx

I wonder what your response to him was  ;D

I knew before finishing the essay it was a Bareback chancer.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 03 October 2020, 06:41:55 pm
hope you are well darling , would you be up for giving a big black cock a good sucking soon? xx

Sigh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLastTime on 03 October 2020, 08:17:52 pm
Can the TWs get any weirder? This evening a guy text asking to me my first of the morning tomorrow, I said no as I find it a bit offensive when guys do that, as if we reset every 24 hours and are miraculously virgin escorts, ridiculous. Then I get this text back:

I have a fetish for seeing girls when they just wake up as I like the natural smell. It is not for everyone but to say this on intro put people off

Yeh you think. Get a girlfriend dude wake up with her. 

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 03 October 2020, 08:29:25 pm
Dynamite Doll, my response was..

Sorry but my health is so much more important to me than a shag from a random stranger is  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 05 October 2020, 03:17:59 pm
Me- As you're not sure about the time I won't book you in yet
Posh bananahead-What does that mean?  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 08 October 2020, 09:20:52 pm
I swear they're out to get me...

Him: Hi do you do fetish type meets for the right price?
Me: Nope
Him: You do sloppy seconds if I pay well?
Me: Piss off you timewaster. I can offer a punch in the throat for free if you're interested

Him: found you on adultwork
Me: Yep and...
Him: Can you breastfeed me
Me: Piss off!

And this TW I've encountered before via AW message:

Him: Hi would you see me tonight? X
Me: Dunno what time is tonight? And you've no feedback
Him: Yes I’ve never booked with anyone on here nor actually ever done anything as married. I do understand if you don’t want to no problem... I’d say for 9pm? X
Me: I think I'll have to say no sorry. I don't work that late.
Him: Ah no problem I was going out with my friends at half 7 to Nando’s and would then be able to have some spare time after. What time are best for bookings? I’ve not actually done anything like this before... I don’t think I’d be nervous etc I’d probably be able to do Tuesdays Wednesday and Thursdays between 10am and 3pm? X
Me: Just get in touch when you want a booking.

Jesus wept. The last guy was the guy who was worried he's that famous he'd be seen driving around town...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 09 October 2020, 09:19:49 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 03 October 2020, 08:29:25 pm
Dynamite Doll, my response was..

Sorry but my health is so much more important to me than a shag from a random stranger is  ;D

Should have replied I don't care if you turn into a fucking smurf, rubber up pal or use your hand, your choice
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HiddenTalents02 on 10 October 2020, 09:13:28 am
Him: hi are you available today at 12
Me: no sorry I’ve no availability today.
Him: can’t you plz squeeze me in
Me: sorry I can’t.
Him: what if I send you a picture of me and you don’t think I’m ugly?

Was tempted to say okay send, then say sorry still no availability  >:D but decided if he was a crazy dude it wasn’t worth it  ;D so just blocked and got on with my day.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HiddenTalents02 on 10 October 2020, 09:18:16 am
Someone sent me an email with the subject - all in caps - ‘boobs and vagina’
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 10 October 2020, 12:21:13 pm
Curvywench, who doesn't love a smurf right?  ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Christy on 10 October 2020, 01:16:24 pm
Quote from: TheLastTime on 03 October 2020, 08:17:52 pm
Can the TWs get any weirder? This evening a guy text asking to me my first of the morning tomorrow, I said no as I find it a bit offensive when guys do that, as if we reset every 24 hours and are miraculously virgin escorts, ridiculous. Then I get this text back:

I have a fetish for seeing girls when they just wake up as I like the natural smell. It is not for everyone but to say this on intro put people off

Yeh you think. Get a girlfriend dude wake up with her.

I'm refusing to see "first of the day" too. They are paying for for time slot and what we are doing before or after is non of their bloody business.

The same things goes with "last of the day". 99% wants to overstay their welcome and 1% is looking to steal our money.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 10 October 2020, 01:28:32 pm
Quote from: curvywench on 09 October 2020, 09:19:49 pm
Should have replied I don't care if you turn into a fucking smurf, rubber up pal or use your hand, your choice

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 11 October 2020, 12:17:03 pm
Guy contacts me yesterday for a booking today; "no penetration just kissing and touching " he seems OK, standard gfe stuff says he's disabled etc goes on a bit but thought there was a fair chance of it going ahead so I accepted the booking. Then he texts me today to ask if he can also have anal, anal play, and will you piss on me? Also in run up to booking will you engage in a role play via Whatsapp so it's like we're having an affair?
Um... No.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 12 October 2020, 02:53:52 pm
So at the end of the session the client asked if he can use the shower🚿, sure of course. He proceeds to ask if “the towels are clean?”

I dead pan, “No. Noooo, this hotel only gives us dirty ones.”

He cleans up with a WASHCLOTH🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ (flannel, for you guys).

As he’s leaving he says, “So. You don’t have Covid do you?”

By now I’m impatient. I reply he’s shutting the barn door🚪after the horse🐎has been stolen, & had he these concerns, he should’ve asked me when he ARRIVED, not as he was leaving. BYE! & not so gently pushed him out. 🙄🙄🙄
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverpoolgal123 on 16 October 2020, 11:42:27 am
Email: When you in Warrington

I didn’t reply as I read it just as my busy morning was starting and I really couldn’t put a sentence together that early.

Same fella: Well?

Yes I know I read the email and not replied but I think it’s just so cheeky to message that only 2 hours after the email has been read. I’m sure some clients think we just sit about waiting for them to message.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Petlover29 on 16 October 2020, 12:58:02 pm
I had an email on adultwork.

He wanted to pay £15 for a 5min blow Job with cim..  he said he will only take 5 mins to cum from oral.. he actually had loads of postive feedback from other working girls.. which surprised me.. He got blocked from me!!

Don’t you just hate cheapskates


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EnglishAmy40 on 16 October 2020, 02:06:01 pm
Quote from: TheLastTime on 03 October 2020, 08:17:52 pm
Can the TWs get any weirder? This evening a guy text asking to me my first of the morning tomorrow, I said no as I find it a bit offensive when guys do that, as if we reset every 24 hours and are miraculously virgin escorts, ridiculous. Then I get this text back:

I have a fetish for seeing girls when they just wake up as I like the natural smell. It is not for everyone but to say this on intro put people off

Yeh you think. Get a girlfriend dude wake up with her.

I got an AW message a couple of weeks ago saying he liked the natural smell and for me not to wash. I ignored.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 16 October 2020, 02:06:32 pm
Quote from: Petlover29 on 16 October 2020, 12:58:02 pm
...Don’t you just hate cheapskates
Fuck YES!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 16 October 2020, 02:07:06 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 12 October 2020, 02:53:52 pm
So at the end of the session the client asked if he can use the shower🚿, sure of course. He proceeds to ask if “the towels are clean?”

I dead pan, “No. Noooo, this hotel only gives us dirty ones.”...
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 16 October 2020, 04:53:52 pm
This weeks highlights (or should that be lowlights?)

Via text
Him: Hi. I like your succinct and straightforward profile, which is very refreshing on this site! I'm looking to meet on tomorrow evening for a couple of hours. Home for me is Okehampton, but I'm in Southampton overnight on Thursday (staying at Jurys Inn) and there is an "opportunity". Please feel free to call....

Me: I'm happy to host but I'm not doing outcalls at the moment. Let me know if you can come to me x

Him: May I call?

Me: No

Him: Just to check where you are and whether you offer owo?

Me: Read my profile, lots of lovely answers on there love

Him: Silence

Overnight Twat Caller last night

Rings at 1.40am
Texts at 1.41am: Hi are you available your green light is on

Me at 5.46am: The green light means AVAILABLE TODAY, that means WITHIN my working hours. NOT stupid o'clock (I block all late night twats so he's blocked at this stage)

Him at 9am: Ok thanks, can I still book?
Him at 9.01am: I'm looking for a slow lovemaking session lots of passionate french kissing, pussy licking, owo and sex ect
Me: You're blocked, save your messages for someone who's actually going to read them
Him: Why though
Him: It said on the profile if green light and out of hours you might still be available that's why I texted not called

Some other genius contacts me asking quesions that are answered on my profile, which I direct him back to..

Him: Hi yes I have read it thanks. I'm on site until about 11.30 I think. I'm new to this so looking for someone who does the owo etc Whereabouts are you
Me: Sigh and block
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nelly on 16 October 2020, 06:19:15 pm
Him: would you like me to get some drinks in for our booking? What would you like xx

Me: Thank you that's so nice. I'd love a glass of chablis if that's ok?

Him: yes of course, I'll have it ready and waiting for you.

Him 10 minutes before the booking is due to start: I just went to Tesco and they didn't have any Chablis, so I got Irn Bru instead.

Yes Irn Bru. For the record I'm not Scottish, not a child, and have never even tried the stuff (and wouldn't want to.) Just why ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLastTime on 16 October 2020, 06:24:53 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 16 October 2020, 07:24:55 pm
Quote from: Nelly on 16 October 2020, 06:19:15 pm
Him: would you like me to get some drinks in for our booking? What would you like xx

Me: Thank you that's so nice. I'd love a glass of chablis if that's ok?

Him: yes of course, I'll have it ready and waiting for you.

Him 10 minutes before the booking is due to start: I just went to Tesco and they didn't have any Chablis, so I got Irn Bru instead.

Yes Irn Bru. For the record I'm not Scottish, not a child, and have never even tried the stuff (and wouldn't want to.) Just why ???

He got you a soft drink instead? Or do you guys call it pop there? I actually had to look up Irn Bru since I’m stateside, but yeah, it’s like Sprite or Coke I guess. That’s about as far away from a glass of Chablis 🍷as you can get🤦🏼‍♀️; even I’m bright enough to realize that.

Sooooo tacky!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nelly on 16 October 2020, 07:45:36 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 16 October 2020, 07:24:55 pm
He got you a soft drink instead? Or do you guys call it pop there? I actually had to look up Irn Bru since I’m stateside, but yeah, it’s like Sprite or Coke I guess. That’s about as far away from a glass of Chablis 🍷as you can get🤦🏼‍♀️; even I’m bright enough to realize that.

Sooooo tacky!!!!

Hi Celeste!! Irn bru (pronounced Iron Brew) rightly or wrongly is perceived as a "hard nut" drink, that some crazy would drink before beating you up. It's also bright bright orange and is said to ruin your insides!! (Sorry for perpetuating this horrible stereotype). So it's not just that he bought a fizzy drink instead of wine, it's that he bought the type of pop that crazy people drink   ;D

*dons hard hat before the Scots arrive*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 16 October 2020, 08:37:41 pm
I fucking love Irn Bru, but it's not the same since they started putting sweeteners in it  >:(.

My contribution for the thread this week is a text I got yesterday that just said 'fuk ass yeah'. I'm not even certain that it constitutes an attempt to book ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 16 October 2020, 10:43:31 pm
Quote from: Petlover29 on 16 October 2020, 12:58:02 pm
I had an email on adultwork.

He wanted to pay £15 for a 5min blow Job with cim..  he said he will only take 5 mins to cum from oral.. he actually had loads of postive feedback from other working girls.. which surprised me.. He got blocked from me!!

Don’t you just hate cheapskates


They really don't realise how that just makes us dry up!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 16 October 2020, 10:45:53 pm
Quote from: Nelly on 16 October 2020, 06:19:15 pm
Him: would you like me to get some drinks in for our booking? What would you like xx

Me: Thank you that's so nice. I'd love a glass of chablis if that's ok?

Him: yes of course, I'll have it ready and waiting for you.

Him 10 minutes before the booking is due to start: I just went to Tesco and they didn't have any Chablis, so I got Irn Bru instead.

Yes Irn Bru. For the record I'm not Scottish, not a child, and have never even tried the stuff (and wouldn't want to.) Just why ???

He knew damn well... he's just cheap!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 16 October 2020, 10:48:40 pm
Quote from: amy on 16 October 2020, 08:37:41 pm
I fucking love Irn Bru, but it's not the same since they started putting sweeteners in it  >:(.

My contribution for the thread this week is a text I got yesterday that just said 'fuk ass yeah'. I'm not even certain that it constitutes an attempt to book ???

Man, that’s an all time low, smh. It’s THREE words!!! What’re you supposed to do with that!!!!!🤦🏼‍♀️🪓
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 17 October 2020, 01:09:38 am
Text received tonight from timewaster and/or fantasist and/or disgruntled previously blocked man “Your hot ;)” :FF

Me: Thanks but please only contact me if you would like to book me, and if you do then make sure you call me and don’t text, thanks x”

Him: I was going to book you but I think I’ll spend my money elsewhere since you have proved to be so unfriendly”  :FF

Me: Block
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Petlover29 on 17 October 2020, 06:08:27 pm
Lol

I don’t do outcalls.. I prefer to only do incalls.. I had a guy who had 3 postive feeback email me asking if I could do an outcall .. I told him I’m only doing incalls but he can happily come see me when I was next working at my incall location .. his emailed me back saying

Well as common as this may sound but if you use what’s app, and you want to see a pic of me, I will take you out on a date...

Lol I emailed back telling him to try tinder!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 17 October 2020, 08:16:31 pm
Quote from: Nelly on 16 October 2020, 06:19:15 pm
Him: would you like me to get some drinks in for our booking? What would you like xx

Me: Thank you that's so nice. I'd love a glass of chablis if that's ok?

Him: yes of course, I'll have it ready and waiting for you.

Him 10 minutes before the booking is due to start: I just went to Tesco and they didn't have any Chablis, so I got Irn Bru instead.

Yes Irn Bru. For the record I'm not Scottish, not a child, and have never even tried the stuff (and wouldn't want to.) Just why ???

#Dead
ROFL...What the actual????
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 17 October 2020, 10:55:07 pm
I don't know how I did it, but I turned this one done, big time. I am vanilla, more vanilla than a massive vanilla thing, so why?!

Via AW
Would be late evening mon to wed.
Want loads of cruel mean nasty verbal humiliation and some physical domination. Measuring. Taking pics. Even sending to friends. Make me gave it soft in front of u as that most embarrassing. Have u use big dildo infront of me and talk bout real men and make me tellyou bout exs cheating on me. But all though session u can edge me and tease me with you body. Simulate sexpositions when I'm soft with u laughing. Saying even though I pay I still can't fuck u. Wuth edging get me to point of cum thenstop with u laughing at how desperate I am and then waiting for it to go soft before u start again. At end a ruined orgasmwhere u get me to brink stop touching so it leaks out unaided?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Petlover29 on 17 October 2020, 11:00:55 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 17 October 2020, 10:55:07 pm
I don't know how I did it, but I turned this one done, big time. I am vanilla, more vanilla than a massive vanilla thing, so why?!

Via AW
Would be late evening mon to wed.
Want loads of cruel mean nasty verbal humiliation and some physical domination. Measuring. Taking pics. Even sending to friends. Make me gave it soft in front of u as that most embarrassing. Have u use big dildo infront of me and talk bout real men and make me tellyou bout exs cheating on me. But all though session u can edge me and tease me with you body. Simulate sexpositions when I'm soft with u laughing. Saying even though I pay I still can't fuck u. Wuth edging get me to point of cum thenstop with u laughing at how desperate I am and then waiting for it to go soft before u start again. At end a ruined orgasmwhere u get me to brink stop touching so it leaks out unaided?

I would have turned him down to.. he sounds like he would have been so hard work in the room.. there always a nightmare in the room when they send long sex messages of what sexual activities  they want to happen..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 18 October 2020, 02:50:28 pm
Quote from: Petlover29 on 17 October 2020, 11:00:55 pm
I would have turned him down to.. he sounds like he would have been so hard work in the room.. there always a nightmare in the room when they send long sex messages of what sexual activities  they want to happen..

Me too, I don't mind femdom but he sounds like one of those bloody demanding subs who has to have everything EXACTLY the way they see them in their mind, you would have VERY exacting dress requirements also because 'don't you dare spoil his fantasy or what a tru domme looks like'.

Props to him for going to a professional at all though, many of these submissive types utterly resent having to pay and instead bitch about how many Dommes ask for tribute or gifts.  They want a woman to do all that work for the thrill of it alone.......

Yeah, because that scenario would be so exciting for the woman.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 19 October 2020, 08:25:48 am
Him - Could I see you next week?

Me - Yes, I could do Tuesday or Wednesday.

(Thursday night)
Him - Could you do tomorrow?

Me - No, I am busy and why I did not list Friday as a day I could see you when you asked. Also, and as you should know by now (and as mentioned several times on my profile and FAQs), I need at least 48 hours notice to make myself available.

Him - Oh, yes, I know that but I read your message and thought I’d ask anyway as Fridays tend to be quiet.

Me - ‘Fridays tend to be quiet.’ When have I ever stated that? Also, when have I ever been available (to you) on a Friday?

Sigh.



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HiddenTalents02 on 19 October 2020, 10:57:49 am
Text comes through, I reply to say please call.
Phone rings, I answer..

Him: hi.... I saw your ad *queue giggling going on in the background* my eyes are already rolled into back of my head at that point.
Me: yes?
Him: well, it’s my pal that’s making me do this...
Me: you sound far too young. Goodbye.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HiddenTalents02 on 21 October 2020, 11:30:21 am
Call comes through

Me: hi
Him: hello, are you working just now?
Me: yes I’m working today
Him: do you fancy coming out to *his area*
Me: I don’t do outcalls
Him:where are you based?
Me: did you read my profile?
Him: no. (At least he’s honest?)
Me: well if you have a little read of my profile then call me back thanks
Him: so you don’t fancy coming out to *his area*?  :FF :FF :FF

2 texts after I hung up.
He’ll make it worth my while then another asking where I was based (so still not even read my profile  :FF )
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 21 October 2020, 02:30:15 pm
Quote from: HiddenTalents02 on 21 October 2020, 11:30:21 am
Call comes through

Me: hi
Him: hello, are you working just now?
Me: yes I’m working today
Him: do you fancy coming out to *his area*
Me: I don’t do outcalls
Him:where are you based?
Me: did you read my profile?
Him: no. (At least he’s honest?)
Me: well if you have a little read of my profile then call me back thanks
Him: so you don’t fancy coming out to *his area*?  :FF :FF :FF

2 texts after I hung up.
He’ll make it worth my while then another asking where I was based (so still not even read my profile  :FF )

I'm sure they never read the profile, I've had 4 texts today when it clearly says on my profile they have to call.
They all got one reply saying call me, surprisingly all but one did which leads me to believe they really do just look at the pics  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nelly on 21 October 2020, 04:41:39 pm
Quote from: amy on 16 October 2020, 08:37:41 pm

My contribution for the thread this week is a text I got yesterday that just said 'fuk ass yeah'. I'm not even certain that it constitutes an attempt to book ???

That's so gross Amy! What goes on in these little minds!! I'm sure in his head you swooned with pleasure at receiving those three little words  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 21 October 2020, 07:08:19 pm
Quote from: fallen angel on 21 October 2020, 02:30:15 pm
I'm sure they never read the profile, I've had 4 texts today when it clearly says on my profile they have to call.
They all got one reply saying call me, surprisingly all but one did which leads me to believe they really do just look at the pics  :FF

Oh definitely; they look at the pretty pictures and text everyone they like the look of the same copy and paste "r u available"... Then when you respond  it's "which one are you?"- this drives me crazy. It's rude and they could at least read the basic info before contacting. I always reply with "... So you don't even know who you're contacting? All info is on my profile. "
Which is usually followed by
"Sorry, I texted a few. What do u do n how much (insert lame excuse about no WiFi connection or no data, often whilst using imessage to text me)"

Block.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissElvira on 22 October 2020, 12:05:01 am
Lately I've had the vileTW

Him via WhatsApp : "Hi are you available" @12:06

Him @ 12:31 "Can i call you mistress"

Me "Hi and sorry I'm not available"

Him "Not at all?

Me "Not today"

He then starts ringing my WhatsApp and I ignore, I've given him all the info He need.

His last message to me "I rang yeah bit you never answered?You probably just another old whore selling your flappy pussy for your husband pimp who sits at home looking after your kids. You look like a black man's who're anyway F##k off.

Me: Actually I got rid of my husband years ago, Kids at college and I pimp out my pussy for my own gain because.

Normally I just ignore but I was having a bad day and feeling like I couldn't be arsed with timewaster messages.

 Blocked and another added to CE.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 22 October 2020, 04:38:14 pm
I’m sorry, but “flappy pussy” legit made me spit out my Starbucks from snort-laughing😆😆.

Damn you Elvira! This shit is expensive😆☕️!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 23 October 2020, 05:26:50 pm
[random multiple quotes removed]

Nelly, I would never trust a client to get me a drink before I arrived and I find that a huge red flag when a man wants my drink ordered and sent to his room before I even arrive, date rape screams at me here and I have had men ask me this and I always say that I’ll choose when I arrive as I want to be there when the drinks come to the room so I know I ain’t being roofied.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 24 October 2020, 01:11:30 pm
I have literally had the week from hell in terms of timewasters and just plain awful human beings. So much so I actually felt like going up on my roof to check for a sign saying "Timewasters  & C**** welcome". The delights started last weekend..

Via Text

TW: Good evening gorgeous lady I'm H*** and I'm very much hoping that you are available tomorrow at 5pm for one our in call please
Me: Hello sorry I'm not working until Sunday
TW: Ah thanks for getting back to me baby but I can't tomorrow but can I please book an hour out call for Tuesday evening?
Me: You can certainly book an in call but I'm not doing out calls at the moment
TW: Ok babe I'm happy to visit you for an hour booking definitely  :P I love the feeling and I use working ladies regularly and as soon as I saw your profile on aw  :P you're pictures are smoking hot and I absolutely enjoy it more with the older mature lady especially with the body of yours!! Suspender stockings are a must please. So can you please tell me a bit more about your service don't likes etc ? I'm hoping you play and fuck for the whole hour?? Xx
Me: My likes are on my profile love
TW: SILENCE

My thoughts:

* I couldn't give a shiny shit about your prediliction for working girls
* I'm not sure I like being labelled an older mature lady? Is that a compliment?
*What are suspender stockings?
* Is it unreasonable to not want to fuck for a whole hour?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 24 October 2020, 01:18:00 pm
Am I the only one who loves a man who can not only spell whole words but chooses to use them in text messages?

TW: Are u available
Me: Hello, when?
TW: What's your name
Me: Bernard
TW: Funny not U Gosport
Me: Funny is. U blocked
TW: why

I mean come on, you have to ask why?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 24 October 2020, 04:05:41 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 24 October 2020, 01:11:30 pm
I have literally had the week from hell in terms of timewasters and just plain awful human beings. So much so I actually felt like going up on my roof to check for a sign saying "Timewasters  & C**** welcome". The delights started last weekend..

Via Text

TW: Good evening gorgeous lady I'm H*** and I'm very much hoping that you are available tomorrow at 5pm for one our in call please
Me: Hello sorry I'm not working until Sunday
TW: Ah thanks for getting back to me baby but I can't tomorrow but can I please book an hour out call for Tuesday evening?
Me: You can certainly book an in call but I'm not doing out calls at the moment
TW: Ok babe I'm happy to visit you for an hour booking definitely  :P I love the feeling and I use working ladies regularly and as soon as I saw your profile on aw  :P you're pictures are smoking hot and I absolutely enjoy it more with the older mature lady especially with the body of yours!! Suspender stockings are a must please. So can you please tell me a bit more about your service don't likes etc ? I'm hoping you play and fuck for the whole hour?? Xx
Me: My likes are on my profile love
TW: SILENCE

My thoughts:

* I couldn't give a shiny shit about your prediliction for working girls
* I'm not sure I like being labelled an older mature lady? Is that a compliment?
*What are suspender stockings?
* Is it unreasonable to not want to fuck for a whole hour?

Snowy!

I had a guy a cpl years back ~ I ended up saving him in my phone as Mr I Want My Full Hour😆, bc he did something similar lol. He says in text he wants to make sure he gets his full hour. Ok I’m thinking, clearly he’s been rushed out by someone, that’s wrong, I assure him I’m not like that (bc I’m not, unless you’re a douche), all seems well.

He calls for directions & brings it up again, exactly the same way. A tiny bit aggravated, I again say no worries.

He gets here & goddamn, it’s the 1st thing out of HIS MOUTH😡🪓.

This is by now, just unacceptable & I say, “There seems to be a real issue here Bob. Let’s talk about it, SHALL WE?” With my sternest look. Oh he doesn’t want to DO that🙄.

He pops while I’m still in my underwear🤦🏼‍♀️.

Well that explains a LOT. I don’t even remember if he stayed “his full frigging hour🙄”, but I know he never came back😆.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 24 October 2020, 04:45:34 pm
I know Celeste. Why do some men have such a fixation on time? I understand getting your moneys worth as we're luxury items after all, but is that based on time or satisfaction derived? The majority of my clients couldn't give a shit time wise and usually leave when they're done of their own volition. One of my regulars recently booked an hour but was out of the door in twenty minutes with no complaints. In my experience, the ones who want the full hour are the hobbyists who feel like it's they're duty to get the full time out of us. It's a shame (for them) as it must detract from the experience?

What's fun about jack hammering away for an hour just to say you have? I almost feel like they're trying to prove a point or get one over us?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 27 October 2020, 05:18:46 pm
Hey there, how you doing and I know you don't include this as a kink or preference but would you consider offering breastfeeding?
Don't worry, I presume there's no milk...I just meant the act of breastfeeding??

My profile is focused entirely on giving submissive services. I wonder why I don't include it as a kink or preference? It also states clearly not to ask me for anything that isn't already listed because if it isn't there, I don't do it.  :FF


hi can i get your snap chat to book in please
I don't even have snapchat, but is there suddenly a reason they can't book in using the method they used to ask to book in elsewhere?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HiddenTalents02 on 28 October 2020, 07:20:57 am
Woke up to texts at like 6am.
(Profile clearly states to call me after 8 if you wish to make a booking)
So I messaged back just like
- I’m available from 8, as my profile states.
Him : sorry about that, ok to phone now? (It’s 7am)
So I simply reply to go take a look at my profile.
I don’t even know why I’m engaging at this point because I’ve already decided I 100% will not be seeing him.
Anyway he replies ‘I did (yeah right) sorry about the time honestly, can I pleasee see you this morning or afternoon.
He’d annoyed me at this point and I simply replied call during my working hours.
So he replied ‘aw thought we could of arranged something just now, never mind take care’
Lol men..  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SweetieeeS on 28 October 2020, 01:14:15 pm
Why do guys say call me back if you change your mind ? LMAOOOOOOOO if you can’t afford keep scrolling 😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HiddenTalents02 on 28 October 2020, 03:25:19 pm
Quote from: SweetieeeS on 28 October 2020, 01:14:15 pm
Why do guys say call me back if you change your mind ? LMAOOOOOOOO if you can’t afford keep scrolling 😂

Oh it takes all my strength not to reply back something snarky  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EllaUnicorn123 on 29 October 2020, 09:12:09 am
My first text of the day....


Hi babe U available in 10 mins? I want you to sit on my face with you grinding your pussy juices all over my face and grind like you never have before you can put all your pussy juices in my mouth i want to taste your bum hole
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 29 October 2020, 10:04:03 am
Oh Ella, how could you not resist???

Here is mine.. 

From a rando with zero feedback.

"I want to book you for an overnight, give me your number"

Ermmm, No.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 03 November 2020, 07:17:11 pm
I make it very clear on every tab to let me know date, time, type of booking etc when contacting me. It's the first thing on each tab, in bold. I also mention I don't give my number until we have arranged a meet. Also makes me laugh when they give their number and want me to contact them...erm, nope.

Hi babe want to meet when u free text or ring on xxx
Please see my profile for availability and booking procedures and get back to me once you know when/what you'd like.
....silence.

Hi I love the profile, send me your number please.
You love it so much that you didn't read it?
....silence.

Can't be fucked with them anymore. If they can't follow the basic directions of letting me know when/what they want, I'm not even trying to coax the information from them.  Even if it's otherwise polite and possibly genuine, nope. Fuck off. Follow directions. :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 03 November 2020, 10:18:44 pm
Today:

HIM: hi can i make a booking

ME: No, I'm sorry, not taking bookings now due to being in Tier 2 and imminent lockdown.

HIM: wow your loss


Showed his true self in just 9 words. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: thickthighs on 04 November 2020, 11:33:10 am
does somebody’s account name on AW put you off accepting a booking? does the name conjure up all sorts in your head. I ask as I’ve just had an enquiry and their account name is pumpum stabba
lol how delightful
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 04 November 2020, 11:53:26 am
Names like that make it easy to reject them doesn't it! Yes all the boastful ones put me off and one had 'killer' in it. Couldn't wait to meet him-not.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 04 November 2020, 09:32:19 pm
Quote from: thickthighs on 04 November 2020, 11:33:10 am
does somebody’s account name on AW put you off accepting a booking? does the name conjure up all sorts in your head. I ask as I’ve just had an enquiry and their account name is pumpum stabba
lol how delightful

Certainly does.
Anything with bare in it is kind of a clue and names illuding to violence or disrespecting women are a no no.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Petlover29 on 04 November 2020, 09:36:58 pm
😂
Anyone on adultwork  with the  username like ..

Stamina
Huge  dick
Ass licker
Hung
12inch

You just know straight away these kind of men  will either be serious tw or  be arseholes in the room

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 05 November 2020, 08:59:06 am
Just now -

Quote
Are you available now for outcall to me in Stratford E20?

No thank you, not least because of lockdown, I don't take same day bookings, I won't travel to Stratford etc etc.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLastTime on 05 November 2020, 11:42:28 am
Someone who created an account yesterday on AW asking if I was available today...

Ah maybe a journalist or punter forum member then..

No thanks!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 05 November 2020, 12:17:58 pm
Quote from: thickthighs on 04 November 2020, 11:33:10 am
does somebody’s account name on AW put you off accepting a booking? does the name conjure up all sorts in your head. I ask as I’ve just had an enquiry and their account name is pumpum stabba
lol how delightful

Can do I have mentioned it to a few enquirers in the past, they claim they are 'getting around to changing their name', same for names on email addresses.

The name is clearly aggressive and or a service I clearly do not provide. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Saffy on 06 November 2020, 12:34:08 am
Second Appointment Timewaster.

You get these guys who see you once and then phone to waste your time.

I had this one come and when I went to let him in I noticed his top few teeth were missing.  I'm guessing this was from him being a heavy smoker as the rest were quite brown.  The last time I had a shock like this was when I opened the door and a 40 stone shut in was standing there! 

He was immaculately clean and showered and you could tell he was probably a clean person apart from his teeth. 

During the booking he.was going on about how he would like to book this place for me next time and I could use his American express blah blah blah...I just let  them fantasize away i am too experienced to fall for that. 

The other day he phoned to book again but I was already sceptical about him.  Anyway he didn't end up making a booking so I sent him a little message - no worries I expect you are saving up for some new teeth...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HiddenTalents02 on 06 November 2020, 06:40:35 am
Message at 3am
- hi you up and needing company?

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 06 November 2020, 02:18:07 pm
Quote from: Thoroughly Modern Millie on 05 November 2020, 08:59:06 am
Just now -

No thank you, not least because of lockdown, I don't take same day bookings, I won't travel to Stratford etc etc.

That same bloke contacted me at 7am asking for 'now'  what a tool.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 06 November 2020, 07:28:54 pm
Not as many nob heads this week but still..

At 1.20am You available?
Me: At 1.20am? Seriously? I sleep like normal ppl..

Another one who I think must have got the wrong number?
10.16pm Hi houw you getin on with this lockdown? Mark?
Me: Hello, well as it's only day one so far, fine?
Him: Hiya it's mark just got home from work, in the bath now, call u soon
Me: Uhm I don't accept calls, it's text only?
Him: Silence

Why do I give a flying fuck you're in the bath? Eh?

Someone I blocked because he's an absolute tool, saved under "Glenn NO FUCKING CHANCE"
Hi babe how are you today and r u free
Me: Do you get charged by the letter? You is only a 3 letter word ffs

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 06 November 2020, 07:31:16 pm
Almost forgot, the absolute gem who contacted me before asking if I played and fucked the WHOLE hour (piss off) contacted me with:
Hey babe are you available please for in call
PISS OFF!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Glamescort on 07 November 2020, 11:31:57 pm
Quote from: Saffy on 06 November 2020, 12:34:08 am
Second Appointment Timewaster.

You get these guys who see you once and then phone to waste your time.

I had this one come and when I went to let him in I noticed his top few teeth were missing.  I'm guessing this was from him being a heavy smoker as the rest were quite brown.  The last time I had a shock like this was when I opened the door and a 40 stone shut in was standing there! 

He was immaculately clean and showered and you could tell he was probably a clean person apart from his teeth. 

During the booking he.was going on about how he would like to book this place for me next time and I could use his American express blah blah blah...I just let  them fantasize away i am too experienced to fall for that. 

The other day he phoned to book again but I was already sceptical about him.  Anyway he didn't end up making a booking so I sent him a little message - no worries I expect you are saving up for some new teeth...

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 09 November 2020, 11:15:49 pm
Another absolute classic from a complete gimp who likes to get in touch at stupid o'clock..

Gimp: Who's this?
Me: You just messaged me so..
Gimp: Sorry I remember now Haha sorry
Me: sighs
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverpoolgal123 on 10 November 2020, 10:21:32 am
“Wots appin u”


That’s it, I shit you not
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 10 November 2020, 11:41:17 am
"were u live"



Really? REALLY??  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 10 November 2020, 07:28:10 pm
LOL Liverpoolgal123 do you reckon their phone company charges them by the letter?!

Had this one yesterday...

Him: Southampton? x
Me: Southampton what?
Him: Available there
Me: Nope and block!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLastTime on 13 November 2020, 12:40:05 pm
So many entitled pricks contacting me.

I'm not even offering 30 minutes currently and just the tone of this text suggests a boundary pushing nightmare:

Hi how are you today ? Where about are you in xxxxxx? Need half hr no rush twice cum service. Thanks 

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Glamescort on 13 November 2020, 01:14:27 pm
Had one last month ask if I would pick him up for an in call because his Mum wouldn't be able to drop him off  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BethElizabeth on 13 November 2020, 01:45:49 pm
"Hi your profile says you're not available but I want to see you today. Can you make yourself available?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 13 November 2020, 03:59:04 pm
Quote from: BethElizabeth on 13 November 2020, 01:45:49 pm
"Hi your profile says you're not available but I want to see you today. Can you make yourself available?"

 ;D ;D ;D ;D That is like calling up the Pub Hi I know your shut cos of lockdown but can you open up for me as i'm dying for a pub pint ;D :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 13 November 2020, 04:22:31 pm
Quote from: TheLastTime on 13 November 2020, 12:40:05 pm
Hi how are you today ? Where about are you in xxxxxx? Need half hr no rush twice cum service. Thanks 
A perfectly polite and reasonable request which doesn't suggest in any way that the would-be punter should dictate what you offer.
Don't tell me you refused him??
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 13 November 2020, 04:25:21 pm
Quote from: Glamescort on 13 November 2020, 01:14:27 pm
Had one last month ask if I would pick him up for an in call because his Mum wouldn't be able to drop him off  :o
...but getting escorts to double up as a taxi service is common practice these days, ma'am.
Didn't you get the memo?
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 13 November 2020, 04:27:18 pm
Quote from: BethElizabeth on 13 November 2020, 01:45:49 pm
"Hi your profile says you're not available but I want to see you today. Can you make yourself available?"
Again, no sense of self-entitlement or boundary-pushing in sight whatsoever.
I think you owe it to him to see him, BE.  No wait: that's what HE thinks!
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLastTime on 13 November 2020, 05:25:27 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 13 November 2020, 04:22:31 pm
A perfectly polite and reasonable request which doesn't suggest in any way that the would-be punter should dictate what you offer.
Don't tell me you refused him??
;D

I know what a gem? To that text asking for a 30 minutes, no rush, 2 cums I replied...

Not only do I not take text bookings but this is not going to happen, not the type of experience I offer

Very restrained I thought
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HiddenTalents02 on 13 November 2020, 05:56:31 pm
Quote from: TheLastTime on 13 November 2020, 12:40:05 pm
Need half hr no rush twice cum service. Thanks  [/b]

Aka - want to pay half hour rate but stay until I AM satisfied.  :FF
So much entitlement.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HiddenTalents02 on 13 November 2020, 10:53:05 pm
Short notice booking, was a no show.

Get a text 10hours after the meet was meant to happen.
‘Hiya sorry my phone died, hope I can rebook’

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Discrete lady on 14 November 2020, 12:10:01 am
Quote from: Saffy on 06 November 2020, 12:34:08 am
Second Appointment Timewaster.

Anyway he didn't end up making a booking so I sent him a little message - no worries I expect you are saving up for some new teeth...


Haha! Brilliant!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 16 November 2020, 02:56:22 pm
Man on AW messages me 4 times during March-July lockdown, asking for a booking and asking when I'll be working again.

I heard nothing from him between August-November.

Then he messages me today, 2 weeks into second lockdown, asking for a booking!!

I replied with "No, because we're in lockdown." and made a note to never see him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PleasureSales on 16 November 2020, 08:04:10 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 16 November 2020, 02:56:22 pm
Man on AW messages me 4 times during March-July lockdown, asking for a booking and asking when I'll be working again.

I heard nothing from him between August-November.

Then he messages me today, 2 weeks into second lockdown, asking for a booking!!

I replied with "No, because we're in lockdown." and made a note to never see him.
Sounds like you were his second/third choice to contact, only interested in you when his regular escort couldn't service him. I wouldn't see him either.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Harriet_Lille on 18 November 2020, 08:32:47 am
"Hey babe, r u on birth control?"

Aside from stating more than once that I don't do bareback, no matter what, I do get messages like this.
Which means guys not only want bareback but have a fetish for getting a working girl pregnant. Who knows the lengths they'd go to in order to fulfil that.

It's actually scary  when you get messages like this. It's not always easy to brush off.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Christy on 18 November 2020, 08:55:03 am
Subject: Hugh Heffner life
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi

You are absolutely beautiful.

My business is taking off and by the end of next year I'll be buying a 10 bed mansion in Surrey with an indoor and outdoor pool, games room, cinema etc and I'm looking for a different girlfriend to live with me for 6 months at a time, having regular sex and maybe orgies.

I'm offering �150,000 each, clothes, shoes, handbags etc and no living costs.

I love your photos and would like to know if you'd be interested in this proposition.

M X

PS. There's also the possibility of marrying me, in which case you would become a very very wealthy young woman.

Hugh Hefner life ;D ;D ;D
Didn’t even bother to reply
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Harriet_Lille on 18 November 2020, 11:48:03 am
Quote from: Christy on 18 November 2020, 08:55:03 am
Subject: Hugh Heffner life
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi

You are absolutely beautiful.

My business is taking off and by the end of next year I'll be buying a 10 bed mansion in Surrey with an indoor and outdoor pool, games room, cinema etc and I'm looking for a different girlfriend to live with me for 6 months at a time, having regular sex and maybe orgies.

I'm offering �150,000 each, clothes, shoes, handbags etc and no living costs.

I love your photos and would like to know if you'd be interested in this proposition.

M X

PS. There's also the possibility of marrying me, in which case you would become a very very wealthy young woman.

Hugh Hefner life ;D ;D ;D
Didn’t even bother to reply

Wait a minute, you're actually going to pass up the opportunity to marry him? Living in the house is nice, the money, clothes, handbags etc is a bonus, but surely you wouldn't turn down the opportunity to maybe marry him.
After all, you'd become a very very wealthy woman

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLastTime on 18 November 2020, 02:29:19 pm
Had first cancellation citing Covid-19. Well you weren’t worried when you confirmed 20 minutes earlier dude. Forgive me if I don’t believe you.

I only accepted as Client Eye wasn’t functioning properly so it only showed your multiple spam reports for weird aggressive behaviour when you texted.

I would have cancelled you anyway.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 18 November 2020, 05:02:28 pm
Quote from: Christy on 18 November 2020, 08:55:03 am
Subject: Hugh Heffner life
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi

You are absolutely beautiful.

My business is taking off and by the end of next year I'll be buying a 10 bed mansion in Surrey...
Ooh, some hookers have all the luck!
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Supergirl on 18 November 2020, 05:22:05 pm
I had a great one today - 'Do you do outdoors?'

It's Wales in November and pissing down!!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 19 November 2020, 03:08:54 am
Quote from: Supergirl on 18 November 2020, 05:22:05 pm
I had a great one today - 'Do you do outdoors?'

It's Wales in November and pissing down!!

You mean you DON’T want to catch pneumonia? What’s wrong with you?🤷🏼‍♀️

Killjoy🙄😉.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 19 November 2020, 11:36:38 am
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 19 November 2020, 03:08:54 am
You mean you DON’T want to catch pneumonia? What’s wrong with you?🤷🏼‍♀️

Killjoy🙄😉.
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 19 November 2020, 06:29:16 pm
Jesus  ;D  reading some of these it's no surprise they have to pay for sex.. Lucky for us, unlucky for them lol
FML lads just really!!!!

As for Covid, the amount of total tossers that want kissing at the minute, errr no chance ffs ya riddled buggers!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 19 November 2020, 06:52:36 pm
Quote from: curvywench on 19 November 2020, 06:29:16 pm
Jesus  ;D  reading some of these it's no surprise they have to pay for sex...
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLastTime on 19 November 2020, 07:51:59 pm
Quote from: curvywench on 19 November 2020, 06:29:16 pm
Jesus  ;D  reading some of these it's no surprise they have to pay for sex.. Lucky for us, unlucky for them lol
FML lads just really!!!!

As for Covid, the amount of total tossers that want kissing at the minute, errr no chance ffs ya riddled buggers!!

Right exactly I haven’t kissed at all since I came back. I know it’s lost me custom but I just can’t do it.

Of course there’s a risk in close contact, but having worked in public health in another life there is a higher risk of passing any virus on when you exchange saliva. One I prefer not to take.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 20 November 2020, 09:53:09 pm
This one has been trying to book me for a few weeks. Well, I say trying, but he seems incapable of actually giving me a definitive day and time? How on earth is one meant to make a booking without either of those two basic requirements?!

All via AW, I did request text so he sent a message, and then told me via AW message *face palm*

liked profile
Looking for kissing owo different positions and like a lady in heels nice underwear stockings
Pity about this covid at present but would like to meet in future xx

None here as well.i am careful
Possibly in area next week.ill let you know x

Hi maybe in area Thursday or Friday next week you free x

Hi will know better next week and will let you know poss Thursday pm or Friday pm x

nice profile to
Like your list
Are you available x

are you available either Tuesday or Wednesday

Sent text
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 21 November 2020, 12:25:06 pm
How about a "hello" ?  ??? Message received today in its entirety, from a man with feedback  ???


Would you shit in my mouth if I paid you to?



I just ignored. He either wanted a scat session or a reaction. He received nothing.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 22 November 2020, 04:19:45 am
Got a bloke on cam (in FREE) who asked about my availability, I said I wasn't meeting anyone right now cos Lockdown. After I switched off cam for the night, I picked up this in my AW inbox:

So what u are telling me is after this lockdown nonsense going on that u will be coming to bounce on my cock! I don’t want anything other than a straight up Licking sucking fucking. What time slots do u offer? In all honesty I’d steal u for a whole dirty weekend lol


Well now. Where do I start with this unmissable offer/request?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 22 November 2020, 04:24:11 pm
I'm hardly the first to get a message like the one below, but anyway...

*

"Is your 'shag & go' condom or without?  Also, I would like you to be bent over, ready for me.  No talking, no kissing, no touching.  I just get hard, fuck your pussy, then go.  Just wear a nice, skimpy, white thong so I can move it to one side.  Don't even answer the door.  I'll walk in and find you ready for me.  I hope this is ok.  I'm 39 and very genuine."

*
I can't repeat what I said in my reply...unless the response of "Fuck off!" is unlikely to cause you any material offence.  Is it?
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TheLastTime on 22 November 2020, 04:51:38 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 22 November 2020, 04:24:11 pm
I'm hardly the first to get a message like the one below, but anyway...

*

"Is your 'shag & go' condom or without?  Also, I would like you to be bent over, ready for me.  No talking, no kissing, no touching.  I just get hard, fuck your pussy, then go.  Just wear a nice, skimpy, white thong so I can move it to one side.  Don't even answer the door.  I'll walk in and find you ready for me.  I hope this is ok.  I'm 39 and very genuine."

*
I can't repeat what I said in my reply...unless the response of "Fuck off!" is unlikely to cause you any material offence.  Is it?
;D

This message is strangely familiar . Ugh 😼
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 25 November 2020, 05:18:45 pm
I came down with food poisoning last week, so I cancelled a few appointments. I gave a reason of "I'm currently ill." to a semi regular. His response was: "I don't mind, we can do other things that don't involve sex" ..... Yes, just what I want while ill, no matter the illness!!

Another one asked if I was working, I said no. He then asks a short time later are you sure you're not working? Let me think....Clearly, I'm so confused I don't know if I am nor not.  :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 25 November 2020, 05:19:22 pm
Double post.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 25 November 2020, 11:39:57 pm
Quote from: TheLastTime on 19 November 2020, 07:51:59 pm
Right exactly I haven’t kissed at all since I came back. I know it’s lost me custom but I just can’t do it.

Of course there’s a risk in close contact, but having worked in public health in another life there is a higher risk of passing any virus on when you exchange saliva. One I prefer not to take.

I'm exactly the same for the same reasons so if they are stupid enough to have a problem with that I'm happy not to see them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 27 November 2020, 04:52:11 pm
Hi Claire, hope you’re well!

Please excuse me if these are silly questions I’m new to this kind of thing, I’ve seen you on adultwork and was interested in the BJ offer. If the 10 mins finishes without orgasm, does it finish there? Just concerned I tend to last a little longer hahah
Thanks!

Translation from Chancer to English:

Can i have 15 minutes for the price of your 10 min blow n go offer?

I politely told him that the logical solution would be to book for 15 minutes so that we're not rushing, or half an hour might be better to be frank as if you think 10 min won't be long enough then 15 minutes might be a bit rushed too? I don't clock watch, however not clock watching and doing 20/30 minutes for the price of 10 are very different things, and it also wouldn't be fair on me or on all my lovely regular clients who pay my full fee.

I think he was hoping for a different answer...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HiddenTalents02 on 28 November 2020, 07:10:19 pm
Just got this text
‘Hiya am handsome do you outcall to ma bed’

Sure .. I’ll be right there  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 28 November 2020, 08:28:00 pm
Quote from: HiddenTalents02 on 28 November 2020, 07:10:19 pm
Just got this text
‘Hiya am handsome do you outcall to ma bed’

Sure .. I’ll be right there  ::)
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BethElizabeth on 28 November 2020, 11:14:25 pm
“Hello, do you always charge or do you also do for free and fun?”
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 28 November 2020, 11:57:15 pm
Quote from: BethElizabeth on 28 November 2020, 11:14:25 pm
“Hello, do you always charge or do you also do for free and fun?”


 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 29 November 2020, 09:31:29 am
Quote from: BethElizabeth on 28 November 2020, 11:14:25 pm
“Hello, do you always charge or do you also do for free and fun?”
Let him try that line at Tesco (or with his utility company), haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 29 November 2020, 02:45:06 pm
Hey gawjus do u do half now half end of month?

 ::) ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 29 November 2020, 03:28:50 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 29 November 2020, 02:45:06 pm
Hey gawjus do u do half now half end of month?

 ::) ::) ::) ::)

Can you imagine if you agreed then stopped halfway through and said "other half at the end of the month when you've paid the outstanding half gawjus" hahaha a these guys think we're as dumb as them!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 29 November 2020, 04:28:58 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 29 November 2020, 02:45:06 pm
Hey gawjus do u do half now half end of month?

 ::) ::) ::) ::)
Yes...but only for guys who can spell 'gorgeous' accurately.  Unlucky :(
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 29 November 2020, 07:45:08 pm
Quote from: BJC on 29 November 2020, 03:28:50 pm
Can you imagine if you agreed then stopped halfway through and said "other half at the end of the month when you've paid the outstanding half gawjus" hahaha a these guys think we're as dumb as them!

Right? I was tempted to reply asking does he pay his bills half at a time, but decided I couldn't be bothered entertaining him whatsoever.

Quote from: Braziliana on 29 November 2020, 04:28:58 pm
Yes...but only for guys who can spell 'gorgeous' accurately.  Unlucky :(
;D

Must admit...that was the part of the message that irritated me the most.  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 29 November 2020, 10:49:02 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 29 November 2020, 02:45:06 pm
Hey gawjus do u do half now half end of month?

 ::) ::) ::) ::)

*gawps at you*. I mean, my jaw’s on the ground. I dunno why exactly, I had a guy over here ask to write me a check & not cash it til the following week once.

True story.

So Hannaah? Can I write you a check?😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HiddenTalents02 on 29 November 2020, 11:08:08 pm
Wow, the truly great ones come out at night. Another late night text
‘Can I fone you for fone sex am very horny up to you’

*swoon*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BethElizabeth on 30 November 2020, 12:08:58 am
‘I’m going to be honest, charging anything over 100 an hour should only be for those with D breast size or above. I’d reconsider your rates if I were you. I’m a photographer.’

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 30 November 2020, 04:34:51 am
Quote from: BethElizabeth on 30 November 2020, 12:08:58 am
‘I’m going to be honest, charging anything over 100 an hour should only be for those with D breast size or above. I’d reconsider your rates if I were you. I’m a photographer.’


OMG LMAO  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 30 November 2020, 08:43:54 am
Quote from: BethElizabeth on 30 November 2020, 12:08:58 am
‘I’m going to be honest, charging anything over 100 an hour should only be for those with D breast size or above. I’d reconsider your rates if I were you. I’m a photographer.’

What an absolute moron!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 30 November 2020, 08:49:48 am
When u free

Even though my availability is set out in precise detail at the top of my profile    :FF
And not even a Hello ... How are you ... My name is ....
No doubt he'll be wondering why he didn't get a reply.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 30 November 2020, 09:17:28 am
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 29 November 2020, 10:49:02 pm
...I had a guy over here ask to write me a check & not cash it til the following week once.

True story.

So Hannaah? Can I write you a check?😂
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 30 November 2020, 09:36:17 am
Quote from: BethElizabeth on 30 November 2020, 12:08:58 am
‘I’m going to be honest, charging anything over 100 an hour should only be for those with D breast size or above. I’d reconsider your rates if I were you. I’m a photographer.’
...random photographers being the AUTHORITY on how we should determine our rates, as we all know.
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 30 November 2020, 12:09:38 pm
Quote from: BethElizabeth on 30 November 2020, 12:08:58 am
‘I’m going to be honest, charging anything over 100 an hour should only be for those with D breast size or above. I’d reconsider your rates if I were you. I’m a photographer.’

I'd reply: "I only charge more than 100 an hour if you have a small dick."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 01 December 2020, 06:16:45 pm
I've let my number lapse on AW so not had much to post recently although had this genius received at 04.23am via email:

Him: Hi would love to know more about booking your services

Me: Hello, you contact me with a possible date, time and length of meeting. Then I'll let you know if I can make it. Contacting me at 4am when I'm asleep isn't really going to work?

Him: My apologies

Me: Slaps forehead really hard
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nelly on 01 December 2020, 06:56:59 pm
Reading all of these is making me itchy..... these type of people have got so much worse in lockdown
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 02 December 2020, 07:23:51 am
A guy emailed me last night at 9 pm expecting me to be available??

I don't even work evenings as clearly stated on my profile!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 02 December 2020, 04:22:56 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 29 November 2020, 10:49:02 pm
*gawps at you*. I mean, my jaw’s on the ground. I dunno why exactly, I had a guy over here ask to write me a check & not cash it til the following week once.

True story.

So Hannaah? Can I write you a check?😂

Only if you promise you're not trying to get a free service and that the check won't bounce when I cash it.  ;D

Today's gem: U free 4 hard fuck
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jessiegirl on 02 December 2020, 04:46:28 pm
I had a guy email me. Hi love your profile and would love to meet. So how do you like to be fucked.

I felt like saying preferably with a cock.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 02 December 2020, 08:11:43 pm
Quote from: Jessiegirl on 02 December 2020, 04:46:28 pm
I had a guy email me. Hi love your profile and would love to meet. So how do you like to be fucked.

I felt like saying preferably with a cock.

LMAO or various kitchen utensils not limited to a ballon whisk  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 03 December 2020, 01:08:24 am
Quote from: Jessiegirl on 02 December 2020, 04:46:28 pm
I had a guy email me. Hi love your profile and would love to meet. So how do you like to be fucked.

I felt like saying preferably with a cock.

Haha and poor sods actually believe we might just engage in this type of conversation with them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Discrete lady on 03 December 2020, 12:51:22 pm
Aw email:

Hello gorgeous, I’m a young horny 24 year old with stamina. My dick is on my profile. I hope you like it. I’m a repeat cummer, meaning even when I cum, I can just keep fucking until I cum again.

I’m really into older women and I would love to get down and dirty with you.

If I’ve peaked your interest, please don’t hesitate to reply and let’s arrange something.

Thanks,

Dan xx

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 03 December 2020, 01:53:17 pm
*boak*

If I hadn't already deleted the above I would be emailing 'Dan' and pointing out that it doesn't actually mean anything at all, because it is not a word.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 03 December 2020, 02:40:49 pm
Got a text off this drip

" Hi Sexy you up for some nice cock and a good banging. What times can you do?? Where are you?? "

My reply

" No sorry i am not up for it. I am psychic and i am getting vibes i will not enjoy sex with you and i do this job for enjoyment too not just money. Sorry i cannot help you but goodluck finding someone who can service you "

Hahahahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: eastkate on 03 December 2020, 03:00:25 pm
Text I received at 10.43am today - 'Hi - Are you available this morning?'

You mean, within the next hour and 17 minutes lol?

I let him know that I was with a regular of mine for the next 4 hours and would be having lunch with him so no, I wasn't free unfortunately.

'Oh I had this morning off so really wanted to see you'

Me - ah I'm sorry sweetie

Him - 'Oh. If you could see me in 30 mins I could come. I would appreciate it'

Me again - I can't I'm afraid, like I said I have a booking presently

Him 'Cancel someone for me lol.  You won't regret it and I will be a regular if the GFE is good'

hahahahaha. oh lucky lucky me.

Where do they come from?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BangerRacing on 03 December 2020, 03:21:34 pm
Quote from: eastkate on 03 December 2020, 03:00:25 pm
Where do they come from?!

Planet Narcopath.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 03 December 2020, 03:29:35 pm
Quote from: BangerRacing on 03 December 2020, 03:21:34 pm
Planet Narcopath.
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 03 December 2020, 03:31:54 pm
Quote from: Discrete lady on 03 December 2020, 12:51:22 pm
Aw email:

Hello gorgeous, I’m a young horny 24 year old with stamina. My dick is on my profile...
...but will he re-stitch it into his groin in time for his booking with you (which I assume you are up for)?
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Discrete lady on 03 December 2020, 03:40:18 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 03 December 2020, 03:31:54 pm
...but will he re-stitch it into his groin in time for his booking with you (which I assume you are up for)?
;D
yes booked him in. Ready and excitedly waiting haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: thickthighs on 03 December 2020, 06:05:32 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 03 December 2020, 03:31:54 pm
...but will he re-stitch it into his groin in time for his booking with you (which I assume you are up for)?
;D

I love your sense of humour Braziliana :D :D :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HiddenTalents02 on 08 December 2020, 05:33:09 am
Got a message about a meet, it finished with ‘will try follow your rules on profile lol’
You mean my ‘rules’ of call’s only? Between certain hours?
How difficult   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Harriet_Lille on 08 December 2020, 06:28:03 am
Looked my work phone yesterday morning, which I'd left on but on silent. It had a message at 2:30am saying "Hey gorgeous, are you free? I'm nearby and cold."

Aside from not doing walk ins, I wouldn't see a walk in at half 2 in the am. And was he just assuming that I'd be up and sat by my phone in makeup and lingerie waiting for someone like him?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jackiela on 08 December 2020, 06:38:19 am
Had this one last night
Him hey I have never been with a ebony lady and would like to try

Me OK just call me when you want to make an appointment

Him OK but before I make one please can you tell if inside your pussy is it also pink?

Me oh nooo it's yellow 😂😂😂 I just thought what an idiot.

Him ohhh okay
Honestly what are we going to do with some of this men only God knows
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 08 December 2020, 10:32:21 am
I have three words.

"Dog Cum Tits'

*block*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 08 December 2020, 04:36:18 pm
This idiot has been blocked since day one, for obvious reasons. All of his little scenarios invloved sniffing class As...

Him: If you can pick me up we can sniff and fuck in your car for an hour..

I never respond but believe me I've been tempted..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JaneDough on 08 December 2020, 06:03:21 pm
Quote from: English Green on 03 December 2020, 02:40:49 pm
Got a text off this drip

" Hi Sexy you up for some nice cock and a good banging. What times can you do?? Where are you?? "

My reply

" No sorry i am not up for it. I am psychic and i am getting vibes i will not enjoy sex with you and i do this job for enjoyment too not just money. Sorry i cannot help you but goodluck finding someone who can service you "

Hahahahaha

Hahaaa! I'm well gona be using this response!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 10 December 2020, 08:20:18 pm
Hi are you working today?
No, I'm unavailable until x.
Oh. Can I not see you today?

Hi when are you available today?
Before 2pm.
Can I see you at 3pm?

Hiya are you available this evening?
No, I'm unavailable until x.
Are you sure you can't see me tonight?

I know you don't work late evenings but any chance you could see me since you know me?

....and these are all regulars.  :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 11 December 2020, 08:22:48 am
Quote from: Hannaah on 10 December 2020, 08:20:18 pm
Hi are you working today?
No, I'm unavailable until x.
Oh. Can I not see you today?

Hi when are you available today?
Before 2pm.
Can I see you at 3pm?

Hiya are you available this evening?
No, I'm unavailable until x.
Are you sure you can't see me tonight?

I know you don't work late evenings but any chance you could see me since you know me?

....and these are all regulars.  :FF



I've had one like that all week! Wanted an evening booking.

Hi hun, u available? Sent at 6.30pm
Yes, what time?
Don't know. When I finish work.

Hi hun, u available? Sent at 5pm.
I'll be available after 7pm.
Okay x
Then silence after that.

Do they think we are mind readers? What's the effing point?!  :FF  ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 12 December 2020, 10:36:41 pm
I've had it non stop like this.  At 11:49pm 'Hey babe are you free tonight'?

What, in the 11 minutes left of this day? 

They've been utter dicks these last 48hrs, my patience is very low anyway as I have a cold and not working anyway.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Zandie on 13 December 2020, 01:33:45 am

At 1:51 am

Him: Hi, would you travel to ME18 5LZ for a car meet ...........................( I have never met this 'gentleman' and i live in East London )

Me: If I said yes, wouldnt you think I was mentally challenged?

Him:  ;D...(Rolling with laughter)


Glad he found it funny  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 13 December 2020, 02:29:57 am
Quote from: Ziezie on 13 December 2020, 01:33:45 am
At 1:51 am

Him: Hi, would you travel to ME18 5LZ for a car meet ...........................( I have never met this 'gentleman' and i live in East London )

Me: If I said yes, wouldnt you think I was mentally challenged?

Him:  ;D...(Rolling with laughter)


Glad he found it funny  ::)

I had something similar at 1:15am this morning. 

Him- Can you come out to Leytonstone tonight? For an hour.
Me - Tonight, sure, what time?
Him - About 2?
Me -  Suuuuuuure, see you in about 13hrs!
Him- No, I mean in about 40mins.
Me- It's Sunday now and if you read my PROFILE, you would know not to contact me this late.
Him - Ooops, I just saw the picture and got excited.

Urgh.......
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Megan2020 on 13 December 2020, 11:05:03 am
A few crackers in the last 24 hours.

"Love to meet but I like to do it hard. That ok."

I just replied with 'No" - Thought I'd best keep it short and sweet lol.

 :FF

Stranger I've never met on AW's response to me not wanting to accept a lift from him.

"Well if you ever needed a lift I could give you one to mine. I’ve been DBS checked ?"

 :( ;D hahahhaa


And the most amusing one this week goes to - Drum Roll.....  ;D


Amazing profile.

I would love to come and meet you soon, what I am looking for is a meeting that involves all the attention on you under my complete control. What turns me on the most is making sure the lady I am with is completely enjoying herself. I love to focus on them paying attention to her body, breasts and pussy. Give her my complete attention. Using my tongue, fingers and toys.

You would be mine and completely my toy to play with.

Playing with her until she cums over and over again and if she squirts that is the icing on the cake for me.

Then I get what I want for making sure she is completely satisfied.

Is this something you could provide?

I love to see a young lady quivering and shaking in pure pleasure and completely drained from all my attentions

I hope to hear from you soon



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 13 December 2020, 11:36:00 am
Quote from: Megan2020 on 13 December 2020, 11:05:03 am
And the most amusing one this week goes to - Drum Roll.....  ;D


Amazing profile.

I would love to come and meet you soon, what I am looking for is a meeting that involves all the attention on you under my complete control. What turns me on the most is making sure the lady I am with is completely enjoying herself. I love to focus on them paying attention to her body, breasts and pussy. Give her my complete attention. Using my tongue, fingers and toys.

You would be mine and completely my toy to play with.

Playing with her until she cums over and over again and if she squirts that is the icing on the cake for me.

Then I get what I want for making sure she is completely satisfied.

Is this something you could provide?

I love to see a young lady quivering and shaking in pure pleasure and completely drained from all my attentions

I hope to hear from you soon

Megan are we in the same area because this looks almost 100% identical to something I had received before on AW.  Either it is the same bloke or there is a gross out intro script going around.   ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 13 December 2020, 07:01:42 pm
1.
HIM: "What sex service do you provide?"
ME: "The back-to-front, upside down, semi-contact variety from ancient Egypt.  It's all the rage.  Fancy it?"

2.
HIM: "Do you do proper oral?"
ME: "Sorry, no.  I am still at the 'lead-in' stage of the art of fellatio - you know, learning not to use my nostrils to grasp the phallus..."

3.
HIM: Are you working today?
ME: Yes.  If you wish to book, what time and for how long?
HIM: I want to book today and I want to spend forty pounds.
HER: Great.  See you "today" with your forty pounds.
HIM: Where are you based?
HER: Somewhere under the moon.  See you there "today" (and don't forget the forty quid...)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 13 December 2020, 07:04:29 pm
HIM: How do I get to your room without arousing suspicion or being questioned?
ME: By not yelling, at any point, "Hey everyone, I am here to see a hooker!"...?

*

In his defence, he actually turned up and was lovely, haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 14 December 2020, 01:07:35 am
*Hey*
*Want to come for some fun*
*Think you'll like what I've got*

No I won't...ignored since he can't read instructions.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 14 December 2020, 03:31:44 am
Quote from: Braziliana on 13 December 2020, 07:01:42 pm
1.
HIM: "What sex service do you provide?"
ME: "The back-to-front, upside down, semi-contact variety from ancient Egypt.  It's all the rage.  Fancy it?"

2.
HIM: "Do you do proper oral?"
ME: "Sorry, no.  I am still at the 'lead-in' stage of the art of fellatio - you know, learning not to use my nostrils to grasp the phallus..."

3.
HIM: Are you working today?
ME: Yes.  If you wish to book, what time and for how long?
HIM: I want to book today and I want to spend forty pounds.
HER: Great.  See you "today" with your forty pounds.
HIM: Where are you based?
HER: Somewhere under the moon.  See you there "today" (and don't forget the forty quid...)

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 14 December 2020, 03:45:46 pm
Quote
Dear Princess,

My name is XXXXX and I am so glad to have come across your profile. I really appreciate the time and effort taken to construct such a well written and classy profile. It does give a snapshot of your personality.

I work in asset management, am married and am looking to connect with a polished and mature woman to discreetly spend time regularly. I look forward to hearing back from you with the view of arranging a time to speak over the phone and arrange for our initial meet.

Hope you and your loved ones have kept well and safe! Wishing you a lovely Christmas in advance and new beginnings..

Take Care

Regards

I don't even know where to start with this one, not least because it is pretty a textbook example of a cut & paste generic message, sent by someone who has not read my profile  :-X

Princess  :FF

Classy  :FF

Mature  :FF

I look forward to hearing back from you with the view of arranging a time to speak over the phone and arrange for our initial meet. :FF

Regards  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BethElizabeth on 14 December 2020, 04:09:18 pm
Quote from: Thoroughly Modern Millie on 14 December 2020, 03:45:46 pm
I don't even know where to start with this one, not least because it is pretty a textbook example of a cut & paste generic message, sent by someone who has not read my profile  :-X

Regards  :FF

Hahahaaa I got this too, I am in my twenties so not what springs to mind when I think of mature, and while I am no bogan I am definitely not 'classy.'    :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 14 December 2020, 04:12:08 pm
Quote from: Thoroughly Modern Millie on 14 December 2020, 03:45:46 pm
I don't even know where to start with this one, not least because it is pretty a textbook example of a cut & paste generic message, sent by someone who has not read my profile...
Haha!
Whoever told this moron that god loves a trier neglected to tell him that escorts HATE them, haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 14 December 2020, 04:19:19 pm
Quote from: BethElizabeth on 14 December 2020, 04:09:18 pm
Hahahaaa I got this too, I am in my twenties so not what springs to mind when I think of mature, and while I am no bogan I am definitely not 'classy.'    :FF

Haha!

I do not mention the word classy on my profile at all, nor do I make any mention of 'class', 'posh' or 'high class' either because doing so only demonstrates a total lack of class! I just hate messages such as this, it's such a waste of both parties time.

Did you get this message too? If you did, I do sometimes wonder how many of us get sent the same message.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 14 December 2020, 06:00:41 pm
Quote from: Thoroughly Modern Millie on 14 December 2020, 04:19:19 pm
Did you get this message too? If you did, I do sometimes wonder how many of us get sent the same message.

I did! *feels included*

I not only specifically state that spammy copypastes will be deleted without a response (as will any message that doesn't address me by name), but I'm patently as rough as a badgers arse :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 14 December 2020, 06:53:20 pm
Aha!!  ;D

He really has covered the gamut of escorts, hasn't he. Poor dear, still, he'll learn the hard way how he needs to conduct himself to get anywhere.

(Also, only Den Watts circa 1980s Eastenders can get away with calling anyone 'Princess'!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HiddenTalents02 on 14 December 2020, 07:11:35 pm
Hey free today?
Looking for owo 69 and cim if you’re a good girl *winky face*

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 14 December 2020, 07:57:19 pm
Quote from: Thoroughly Modern Millie on 14 December 2020, 06:53:20 pm
...(Also, only Den Watts circa 1980s Eastenders can get away with calling anyone 'Princess'!)
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 14 December 2020, 08:08:39 pm
Quote from: HiddenTalents02 on 14 December 2020, 07:11:35 pm
Hey free today?
Looking for owo 69 and cim if you’re a good girl *winky face*

How can you resist that reward?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PinkestChick on 14 December 2020, 08:21:22 pm
One guy tried negotiating my prices by telling me that for my price he can "the perfect woman" and I'm far too unreasonable for a BBW. He then emailed me again the next week sweet as pie. I told him that I'm fully booked and it turns out people don't mind paying my rates for a BBW  :angel:
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Harriet_Lille on 16 December 2020, 12:08:09 pm
Yesterday a man messaged me asking if I'm free Saturday. I said yes, what time?
He said:

"12pm, but it's my weekend with my daughter, can I bring her and leave her the other room?"

 :FF

If someone turns up to a booking with a child I'm turning them away. How can someone think that's OK?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 16 December 2020, 12:21:00 pm
Quote from: Harriet_Lille on 16 December 2020, 12:08:09 pm
Yesterday a man messaged me asking if I'm free Saturday. I said yes, what time?
He said:

"12pm, but it's my weekend with my daughter, can I bring her and leave her the other room?"

 :FF

If someone turns up to a booking with a child I'm turning them away. How can someone think that's OK?

While I want to be shocked, and it is appalling a man would even contemplate doing this, let alone ask if it's feasible, I recall reading an escort's blog and she wrote that one of her clients does visit her with his kids in tow.

I'm quite scandalised by this tbh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 16 December 2020, 02:36:34 pm
HIM: Hello.  Is shag & go available?
ME: I don't know.  You'll have to ask Shag & Go himself / herself.
HIM: ???

***

HIM: Is it you in the pictures?
ME (attempting subtlety): Consider the value of that question and then see if you truly think it's worth asking.
HIM: Look: I once went to see a girl who looked nothing like her pictures.  She was 20 stone with a short-back-and-sides hairstyle.  The booking was a waste of time for both of us.
ME:  What was wrong?  She sounds lush to me*...

***

*No offence to anybody.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BangerRacing on 16 December 2020, 03:12:59 pm
Oh Braziliana that's funny.  ;D

There's is a lot of bait n switch going on so we can't be too quick to dismiss it.

Got my first cult of covid clown today

him; given the current covid issues would you be happy wearing a mask for an hour and can you let me know a postcode or road name so I can plan a route? I'll be in contact shortly to arrange a time"
me: hi no sorry I have a no mask policy.
him: can I wear a mask?
me: I offer an eye mask for kinky sessions such as tie & tease but mouth muzzles are not welcomed unless it's a ball gag & we will have to arrange coded grunting sounds for discomfort signalling.
him; I'm asking about masks to protect against covid.
me; I realise that, I wouldn't be working if I had flu symptoms
him; I need to wear a mask so I don't catch it & give it to relatives.
me. good luck with that then, I don't know any sex workers seeing mask wearers. Maybe you could could just watch the handmaids tale instead & wank off to that if women in masks is your kink.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 16 December 2020, 03:26:21 pm
Quote from: BangerRacing on 16 December 2020, 03:12:59 pm
...Maybe you could could just watch the handmaids tale instead & wank off to that if women in masks is your kink.
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 16 December 2020, 06:53:01 pm
U free today I've seen u b4.

I have no idea who he is and I couldn't give a flying fuck if he's seen me 0 times, 1 time or 100 times. If he's seen me before, he knows that message won't get a response.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 17 December 2020, 05:13:14 am
Quote from: BangerRacing on 16 December 2020, 03:12:59 pm
Oh Braziliana that's funny.  ;D

There's is a lot of bait n switch going on so we can't be too quick to dismiss it.

Got my first cult of covid clown today

him; given the current covid issues would you be happy wearing a mask for an hour and can you let me know a postcode or road name so I can plan a route? I'll be in contact shortly to arrange a time"
me: hi no sorry I have a no mask policy.
him: can I wear a mask?
me: I offer an eye mask for kinky sessions such as tie & tease but mouth muzzles are not welcomed unless it's a ball gag & we will have to arrange coded grunting sounds for discomfort signalling.
him; I'm asking about masks to protect against covid.
me; I realise that, I wouldn't be working if I had flu symptoms
him; I need to wear a mask so I don't catch it & give it to relatives.
me. good luck with that then, I don't know any sex workers seeing mask wearers. Maybe you could could just watch the handmaids tale instead & wank off to that if women in masks is your kink.

I had my Covidiot virginity broken today. A newbie booked an hour for last night a few days in advance. He actually sounded pleasant and polite enough, asked a few questions but nothing too crazy. Then he texts me on the day of his booking;
"Hi, on reflection the corona thing is on my mind so will have to cancel for this evening sorry"
Wow. I didn't even bother dignifying it with a response until he texted me again a few hours later to tell me again how corona virus has suddenly become rather worrying for him, strange it didn't occur to him during his organisation and questions etc.
Was tempted to say "I know it's terrible isn't it. Have you only just found out about it?!" I'm trying to avoid engaging with knob heads though at the moment, it just wastes time and energy and leads to burnout and having to take time off before I take to the road with a shopping trolley full of cats.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 17 December 2020, 09:26:19 am
"I know it's terrible isn't it. Have you only just found out about it?!" 

You should have said that  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 17 December 2020, 11:04:45 am
Quote from: BJC on 17 December 2020, 05:13:14 am
...he texted me again a few hours later to tell me again how corona virus has suddenly become rather worrying for him, strange it didn't occur to him during his organisation and questions etc...
Exactly!
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: denise96 on 18 December 2020, 10:51:10 am
Just had a text today "hi love" and another one 😂 that said he will pay my 2h fees but he won't pay the fees for owo and that he wants all included + to send him 2pics on WhatsApp so he can see how I look today 😂😂😂 I just replied check my AW gallery and you'll find out.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Petlover29 on 19 December 2020, 09:34:47 am
I don’t do the full pse service, I stated this on my profile. I once had a bad client who left me bruised and unable to work for 1 month when I did pse so I stopped doing this kind of service now..

I keep getting a client wanting to book me, I have explained to him I don’t do the pse service yet he still keeps emailing me to arrange bookings, always on the days I’m not not working (typical) .. always keeps asking me to see him on the days I don’t work claiming how good looking he is..how it will be worth my while if I see him not on my working day.. I don’t give a toss if they good looking or not.. it’s about the respect... his feeback on aw from other escorts is

-fucks like a pornstar
-he huge rough with  loads of stamina
-fucks like a pornstar huge cock
-very intense booking

I don’t know if it’s just me but  when I see that type of feedback, to me they are like warnings to let other girls know they will be in for an intense hard work booking    .. I told this client  I won’t be the girl for him so many times as I won’t give him a good service yet he still keeps emailing trying to book

Odd
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 19 December 2020, 10:23:19 am
Quote from: Petlover29 on 19 December 2020, 09:34:47 am
I don’t do the full pse service, I stated this on my profile. I once had a bad client who left me bruised and unable to work for 1 month when I did pse so I stopped doing this kind of service now..

I keep getting a client wanting to book me, I have explained to him I don’t do the pse service yet he still keeps emailing me to arrange bookings, always on the days I’m not not working (typical) .. always keeps asking me to see him on the days I don’t work claiming how good looking he is..how it will be worth my while if I see him not on my working day.. I don’t give a toss if they good looking or not.. it’s about the respect... his feeback on aw from other escorts is

-fucks like a pornstar
-he huge rough with  loads of stamina
-fucks like a pornstar huge cock
-very intense booking

I don’t know if it’s just me but  when I see that type of feedback, to me they are like warnings to let other girls know they will be in for an intense hard work booking    .. I told this client  I won’t be the girl for him so many times as I won’t give him a good service yet he still keeps emailing trying to book

Odd

I see this feedback in exactly the same way as you do; as a warning of what to expect. It's also worded in a way that makes the man feel good about himself, so it's actually cleverly misleading to its true intent.

He's yet another punter who is only interested in trampling on your boundaries and getting his needs meet. He is targeting you because it's more of a challenge. Plus, I suspect that given the current climate, he thinks you're so desperate for business you will acquiesce. Just stop responding to him, he'll will give up and start harassing someone else.

As an aside, why do men think we care what they look like? That's not important at all. Good hygiene, manners and respecting boundaries is what is important with a client, not looks!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Petlover29 on 19 December 2020, 11:06:27 am
Quote from: Thoroughly Modern Millie on 19 December 2020, 10:23:19 am
I see this feedback in exactly the same way as you do; as a warning of what to expect. It's also worded in a way that makes the man feel good about himself, so it's actually cleverly misleading to its true intent.

He's yet another punter who is only interested in trampling on your boundaries and getting his needs meet. He is targeting you because it's more of a challenge. Plus, I suspect that given the current climate, he thinks you're so desperate for business you will acquiesce. Just stop responding to him, he'll will give up and start harassing someone else.

As an aside, why do men think we care what they look like? That's not important at all. Good hygiene, manners and respecting boundaries is what is important with a client, not looks!


I’m sure some of them think there actually on tinder,  ignoring the fact that they are booking and paying for a service provider .. 😂

The ones who tell me how good looking they are before I have even met them are a no no for me.. if they can be that full of themselves before I have even met them, I dread to think that they be like in person.. 😳
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: thickthighs on 19 December 2020, 05:57:39 pm
Quote from: Petlover29 on 19 December 2020, 09:34:47 am
I don’t do the full pse service, I stated this on my profile. I once had a bad client who left me bruised and unable to work for 1 month when I did pse so I stopped doing this kind of service now..

I keep getting a client wanting to book me, I have explained to him I don’t do the pse service yet he still keeps emailing me to arrange bookings, always on the days I’m not not working (typical) .. always keeps asking me to see him on the days I don’t work claiming how good looking he is..how it will be worth my while if I see him not on my working day.. I don’t give a toss if they good looking or not.. it’s about the respect... his feeback on aw from other escorts is

-fucks like a pornstar
-he huge rough with  loads of stamina
-fucks like a pornstar huge cock
-very intense booking

I don’t know if it’s just me but  when I see that type of feedback, to me they are like warnings to let other girls know they will be in for an intense hard work booking    .. I told this client  I won’t be the girl for him so many times as I won’t give him a good service yet he still keeps emailing trying to book

Odd

yes definately read between the lines on that one
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 19 December 2020, 06:24:37 pm
How not to book:
In the free room when I’m camming... ugh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 19 December 2020, 07:58:23 pm

What street are you on I am from *insert my town* x  ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 22 December 2020, 02:51:52 pm
Guy messages and aside from the "hi beautiful" instead of my name, everything else is polite and to the point. Still have a gut feeling he isn't serious but give him the benefit of the doubt and respond. To which he replies confirming he is happy with services and rates...and happy to pay more. Knew my instinct was spot on that he was a waster.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Saffy on 22 December 2020, 09:41:31 pm
Asked him by text what he wanted.

Illegal alien - Can you give me a passport please?

Me - £20,000

No response.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aquellasincara@Alex on 23 December 2020, 08:11:09 am
A haggler: Babe if you would do an outcall for  *insert considerably less amount of my listed price* I am free now

Me: Babe if you can't pay my fee I ain't free 🙃
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 23 December 2020, 09:59:48 am
Quote from: Saffy on 22 December 2020, 09:41:31 pm
Asked him by text what he wanted.

Illegal alien - Can you give me a passport please?

Me - £20,000

No response.
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 24 December 2020, 05:40:06 pm
HIM: Can I see you for a "quicky"?
ME: Sure.  Suck or fuck?
HIM: Fuck.
ME: Sure.  £40.  Call when you are here.
HIM: Can I kiss you?
ME: I said "suck or fuck" not "suck PLUS kissing or fuck PLUS kissing"
HIM: I was only asking!  How much is a fuck with kissing, then?
ME: 10 million pounds to compensate me for the risk of contracting coronavirus.  How would you like to pay?
HIM: Get fucked!  Why not just speak to people with a little decency?
ME: Er...does that mean you're not coming now?

THE END ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 25 December 2020, 10:37:12 am
**This is more "how not to offer to pimp an escort" ;D**

PIMP: You don't have clients?  I can help with that.  With my promotion  You won't have time for answering everyone.  And you have a grip on the appearance and age of the people you are meeting.  Text me back if you are interested :)  It's totally free.
ME: With your "promotion", I won't have "time for answering everyone"?  Wow, what a great offer!  What hooker wants to answer calls and texts from potential customers?
PIMP: (SILENCE)
ME: ...and yes, I want to "grip" the appearance and age of my punters since those two things really matter to me.  I don't actually want to make as much MONEY as possible from day to day.
PIMP: (SILENCE)
ME: Your pimping "promotion" is "totally free"?  Here's me thinking Mother Teresa was long dead.
PIMP: (SILENCE)
ME: My dear chap / lady, it's CHRISTMAS Day, not April Fools Day.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 27 December 2020, 10:40:46 am
HIM: Hello.  I am looking for a half hour meet with role-play.
ME: Then contact Role-play.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 27 December 2020, 02:51:46 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 27 December 2020, 10:40:46 am
HIM: Hello.  I am looking for a half hour meet with role-play.
ME: Then contact Role-play.  ;D

Ha!   ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 27 December 2020, 07:28:54 pm
Hi can I book an appointment please?
Sure, I am available at x time.
Do you do watersports?
No, I don't offer that.
But you accept licking?
All offered services and needed information is on my profile. Read it and get back to me.
(literally 2 seconds later) Okay can I come at x time?

...What a fast reader!

Ignored and then two hours later another text from him: u still working?

SO glad to be off for a while. Work phone now off.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 27 December 2020, 09:12:30 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 27 December 2020, 07:28:54 pm
Hi can I book an appointment please?
Sure, I am available at x time.
Do you do watersports?
No, I don't offer that.
But you accept licking?
All offered services and needed information is on my profile. Read it and get back to me.
(literally 2 seconds later) Okay can I come at x time?

...What a fast reader!


IKR? I have a pretty in depth website, son. It’s going to take you a good 10 minutes to go thru it. In these cases I say, ok great. What’s my donation for X? You have 20 seconds to answer. Tick tock!!! What about what I said on Y page? Z page? If they can’t answer me, I send them right GD back there.
Scowl.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Zandie on 28 December 2020, 01:16:55 am
Him: i want to come and lick your whole body for 2hrs
Me: Please leave me alone
Him: im serious i really want to but Im married  :FF
Me: ok, i understand , I'll  help you out, im blocking you now

While im trying to block him

Him: No , wait
Him: please, im sorry

Blocked
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 28 December 2020, 06:04:58 pm
By having ONLY negative feedback....how on earth can you go around asking for a booking and your feedback -1?

WTAF?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BethElizabeth on 29 December 2020, 03:24:25 pm
"Can I book two hours tonight? As you're from Aus I can pay in cocaine?"

Am I missing something? What is the link between being Australian and getting paid in drugs?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alex Oak on 29 December 2020, 03:35:39 pm
Quote
"Can I book two hours tonight? As you're from Aus I can pay in cocaine?"

Am I missing something? What is the link between being Australian and getting paid in drugs?

PFfffffHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 29 December 2020, 03:43:27 pm
Quote from: BethElizabeth on 29 December 2020, 03:24:25 pm
"Can I book two hours tonight? As you're from Aus I can pay in cocaine?"

Am I missing something? What is the link between being Australian and getting paid in drugs?

Nobody's ever offered to pay me in pies :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 29 December 2020, 06:07:40 pm
Quote from: BethElizabeth on 29 December 2020, 03:24:25 pm
"Can I book two hours tonight? As you're from Aus I can pay in cocaine?"

Am I missing something? What is the link between being Australian and getting paid in drugs?
Over here, it's normal for a punter to pay the Aussie prossie in cocaine.
FYI, Kiwi prossies are usually paid in Mexican black tar heroin while SA hookers tend to be remunerated in LSD or other controlled hallucinogenic substances...
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 29 December 2020, 08:52:21 pm
HIM: Hi love, meet?
ME: Me Jane.  You Tarzan?

*

HIM: Do you do oral without condoms?
ME: What, as opposed to sheathing your member with, say, a dozen prophylactics?
HIM: ____ (NO RESPONSE).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Zandie on 30 December 2020, 02:41:09 am
AW Email from 0 feedback , one day old profile

Him : suck me dry

Me : go suck a goat dry

Him: Bruh you’re an escort what else you gonna do

Me: try my best not to meet crass and simple people that's what 'im gonna do' BRUH!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 30 December 2020, 06:29:27 am
Quote
Good morning babe,
I now get there on business a few times a month and looking for a nice genuine girl i can rely on to play with on a regular basis and your page got my attention.
I'm a honest and genuine professional exec white guy,still slim and toned in my 50s who enjoys a nice mutual suck n fuck play time.
Does your fee cover everything on your enjoys list ?

Looking forward to hearing back from you soon and arranging some fun.

xx

Am always so thankful when they screen themselves out like this!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BangerRacing on 30 December 2020, 08:08:54 am
Worst sms of my whole year boxing day: can u do for an £25 now at y own flat i live at XX xxxroad, town, county ground floor flat at the back mine door in car parking is as XX road town country postcode three names dj klt aka kiz xxxx age 32 yhers old man with 5 tattoos on me with my new eye brow ring piercing as well I got £25 on me dont ring up my number Xx flat inboxs me on ya now at u at my back door flat XX at the back mine car parking when u here i pop out pick you upwe go back inside my own flat at own flat to GAVER  ??? where sexy deep sexy gril red bars and sexy lo tops now came now i got an £25 oky then dj klt aka kiz xxxx kiz xxxx three names yes

I ignored

then yesterday (no idea why he wasn't blocked yet)
I am on my way see u at ya own home now for an £30 oky then babes xxxx
if not then i go sameone else can you do it missed me i need u me lest please for an ££30 u free now at ya own home in slang for the town i got £30 on is £30 oky yes if u let u me for an £30 I be on my way asap at ya own home in xx u life at oky then babes xxxx three names dj klt aka kiz xxxx

I'm thinking dj kiz is off his nuts.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 30 December 2020, 10:06:20 am
Quote from: Thoroughly Modern Millie on 30 December 2020, 06:29:27 am
Am always so thankful when they screen themselves out like this!
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Zandie on 30 December 2020, 11:38:53 pm
Quote from: BangerRacinhttps://saafe.info/main/Smileys/classic/shocked.gifg on 30 December 2020, 08:08:54 am

I'm thinking dj kiz is off his nuts.


 :o ;D ;D ;D ;D , i got a slight head/eye ache trying to read that gibberish then found myself laughing out loud !!!!! Oh my days
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 31 December 2020, 02:35:11 am
Quote from: amy on 29 December 2020, 03:43:27 pm
Nobody's ever offered to pay me in pies :(

Someone once offered to pay me in frozen pizzas!   :o (documented wayyyy back in this thread, I think!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 31 December 2020, 07:12:21 pm
Clearly the Christmas period has hastened force the nob head posse..

NH: Hi *name* you english babe
Me: Is that a question? It's kind of obvious from my profile which nationality I am?
NH: you fit im. ray indain are you working today
Me: Block

WTF is an indain?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 01 January 2021, 01:47:01 am
Subject: HELLO
-----------------------------------------------------------------
want to fuck you hard fast deep in BOTH hole and also spank ass?  also blow and ride Cock and more

in or outcall, so where and when? lets fuck and have fun?  good ass to fuck and spank also



Charmed. How can I resist? I will absolutely do anal just for him, since he was so elegant and polite.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 05 January 2021, 04:00:37 pm
HIM: Can I book for Friday?
ME: Sure.
HIM: Great!  Can I have a secretarial look including mini-skirt, stockings, and suspenders?
ME: I am sure you look sumptuous in that outfit, but why do you need my permission for it?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 05 January 2021, 07:31:00 pm
HIM: How much?
ME (feeling somewhat...opportunistic in response to his vagueness): Five million pounds (and that's just for a quicky hug).  Do you want to book?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 06 January 2021, 12:56:09 am
Quote from: Braziliana on 05 January 2021, 04:00:37 pm
HIM: Can I book for Friday?
ME: Sure.
HIM: Great!  Can I have a secretarial look including mini-skirt, stockings, and suspenders?
ME: I am sure you look sumptuous in that outfit, but why do you need my permission for it?

What sort of Secretaries do they know?   ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 06 January 2021, 01:46:32 pm
Quote from: Nadya on 06 January 2021, 12:56:09 am
What sort of Secretaries do they know?   ???
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Supergirl on 08 January 2021, 11:44:43 am
The amount of bookings I have that want me to turn up in heels, stockings, suspenders and tiny miniskirt! I have to tell them if I wear a miniskirt my stockings and suspenders will be on view! But I can wear a pencil skirt or change when I'm there. Plus I only really do day time so it's not very discrete! 🤣🤣
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 08 January 2021, 02:48:06 pm
Quote from: Supergirl on 08 January 2021, 11:44:43 am
The amount of bookings I have that want me to turn up in heels, stockings, suspenders and tiny miniskirt!...
That's because punters think with their (excuse me) genitalia (...and mostly, this works for me and for all other prossies, I should think! ;D)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 08 January 2021, 03:04:27 pm
Quote from: Supergirl on 08 January 2021, 11:44:43 am
The amount of bookings I have that want me to turn up in heels, stockings, suspenders and tiny miniskirt! I have to tell them if I wear a miniskirt my stockings and suspenders will be on view! But I can wear a pencil skirt or change when I'm there. Plus I only really do day time so it's not very discrete! 🤣🤣

The # of requests I get wanting me to open the hotel room door naked in just heels👠is mind boggling as well.

I always reply with, “I do apologize, but I’m unable to accommodate that request at this time.” 🙄🙄(as in EVER, you fucking moron).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 08 January 2021, 03:39:14 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 08 January 2021, 03:04:27 pm
The # of requests I get wanting me to open the hotel room door naked in just heels👠is mind boggling as well.

I always reply with, “I do apologize, but I’m unable to accommodate that request at this time.” 🙄🙄(as in EVER, you fucking moron).
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 08 January 2021, 08:43:06 pm
Had to share this one, it's so bad it actually made me laugh..

Via email received 1.1.21

2.10am Hey! How you doing? x
2.27am Hot ? x
2.28am Hot ? x
2.32am X
2.52am Hot you are X
2.54am Hottie? X
3.21am Are you there ? x
3.34am ? XX
3.50am hot x x
3.53am Hot XXX

Imma take a wild guess and say he was under the influence of something?!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 09 January 2021, 12:38:53 am
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 08 January 2021, 08:43:06 pm
Had to share this one, it's so bad it actually made me laugh..

Via email received 1.1.21

2.10am Hey! How you doing? x
2.27am Hot ? x
2.28am Hot ? x
2.32am X
2.52am Hot you are X
2.54am Hottie? X
3.21am Are you there ? x
3.34am ? XX
3.50am hot x x
3.53am Hot XXX

Imma take a wild guess and say he was under the influence of something?!

What is he, Yoda?🤷🏼‍♀️

“Hrrmm yes, hot you are, hrrmm.”
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 09 January 2021, 07:28:13 pm
I'd like to think Yoda had a bigger vocabulary CelesteManchester  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 09 January 2021, 09:59:51 pm
HIM: How do I get to your room?
ME: You just walk in?
HIM: What about reception?
ME: They can book me if they want - and they'll be able to get to my room easily enough as well, I should think - but it will be a separate booking to your own...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 09 January 2021, 11:55:30 pm
HIM: How do I get past reception?  And what do I get in a half hour booking?
ME: 1) You just walk past.  2) What are you after?
HIM: But what happens when I enter reception?  And what sort of things do you do in a half hour booking?
ME: Fuck this.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 10 January 2021, 11:14:21 am
HIM: Hi what included 30 minutes incall u services?
ME: the mean?  even What that fuck does
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 10 January 2021, 01:35:33 pm
HIM: Hello.  Can I make a booking for today?
ME: Sure.  What time do you want to see me and for how long?
HIM: This afternoon.  Not sure how long for.
ME: That's bullshit, dear.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 10 January 2021, 02:26:04 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 09 January 2021, 09:59:51 pm
HIM: How do I get to your room?
ME: You just walk in?
HIM: What about reception?
ME: They can book me if they want - and they'll be able to get to my room easily enough as well, I should think - but it will be a separate booking to your own...

Oh Brazzy, this makes me insane!!!!

“Should I go to the front desk?”

Fuck no you don’t go to the front desk, you Dorito head!🪓 You might as well slap a sign on your forehead saying I’ M HERE TO SEE A HOOKER🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️, because when they look up the name I gave you, *of course* there’s no record of it.

I got that twice last week. Kind of defeats the whole “flying under the radar” thing I’m trying to accomplish here, ya twit.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 10 January 2021, 02:49:58 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 10 January 2021, 02:26:04 pm
“Should I go to the front desk?”

Fuck no you don’t go to the front desk, you Dorito head!🪓 You might as well slap a sign on your forehead saying I’ M HERE TO SEE A HOOKER🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️, because when they look up the name I gave you, *of course* there’s no record of it...
Exactly!
Haha! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 10 January 2021, 04:47:25 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 10 January 2021, 02:26:04 pm
Oh Brazzy, this makes me insane!!!!

“Should I go to the front desk?”

Fuck no you don’t go to the front desk, you Dorito head!🪓 You might as well slap a sign on your forehead saying I’ M HERE TO SEE A HOOKER🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️, because when they look up the name I gave you, *of course* there’s no record of it.

I got that twice last week. Kind of defeats the whole “flying under the radar” thing I’m trying to accomplish here, ya twit.

It's idiots like that are one of many reasons I give a different room number that's on same floor when used to do incall tours before this pandemic hit.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JaneDough on 12 January 2021, 03:44:24 am
Quote from: Braziliana on 09 January 2021, 09:59:51 pm
HIM: How do I get to your room?
ME: You just walk in?
HIM: What about reception?
ME: They can book me if they want - and they'll be able to get to my room easily enough as well, I should think - but it will be a separate booking to your own...

HAHAHAAAAA!! I can't breathe!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alex Oak on 12 January 2021, 11:37:08 pm
A fucking client just sent me a text on WhatsApp, then ONE MINUTE LATER called me and told me on the phone "reply to my WhatsApp".

This guy must be an absolute Psycho boyfriend...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 12 January 2021, 11:39:41 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 09 January 2021, 11:55:30 pm
HIM: How do I get past reception?  And what do I get in a half hour booking?
ME: 1) You just walk past.  2) What are you after?
HIM: But what happens when I enter reception?  And what sort of things do you do in a half hour booking?
ME: Fuck this.

The hidden copper behind reception will jump out holding a taser and blow your fucking mind away.. Next!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alex Oak on 12 January 2021, 11:45:59 pm
Also, same guy

"I am not properly gay, only like kissing"

(minute later)

"Send me your dick pic"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 13 January 2021, 10:43:05 am
Quote from: curvywench on 12 January 2021, 11:39:41 pm
The hidden copper behind reception will jump out holding a taser and blow your fucking mind away.. Next!!!!
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 13 January 2021, 10:43:41 am
Quote from: Alex Oak on 12 January 2021, 11:45:59 pm
Also, same guy

"I am not properly gay, only like kissing"

(minute later)

"Send me your dick pic"
Oh yeah, he's DEFINITELY not gay...
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 13 January 2021, 10:46:14 am
Quote from: Alex Oak on 12 January 2021, 11:37:08 pm
A fucking client just sent me a text on WhatsApp, then ONE MINUTE LATER called me and told me on the phone "reply to my WhatsApp".

This guy must be an absolute Psycho boyfriend...
For me, the words "bullet" and "dodging" come to mind... :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 13 January 2021, 10:48:06 am
Quote from: Alex Oak on 12 January 2021, 11:45:59 pm
Also, same guy

"I am not properly gay, only like kissing"

(minute later)

"Send me your dick pic"
...and I bet you'd take a VERY dim view of his sexuality if he actually WAS gay... ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 13 January 2021, 04:24:09 pm
Quote from: Alex Oak on 12 January 2021, 11:45:59 pm
Also, same guy

"I am not properly gay, only like kissing"

(minute later)

"Send me your dick pic"

So Alex, is there improperly gay?😂🤷🏼‍♀️🤔
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alex Oak on 13 January 2021, 08:45:10 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 13 January 2021, 04:24:09 pm
So Alex, is there improperly gay?😂🤷🏼‍♀️🤔

I'm not very proper and I'm gay sooo.... 🤷🏼‍♀️
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 14 January 2021, 04:17:40 pm
HIM: Hello.  Can you give me a quick BJ at 4.30?
ME: Sure.  It's £40 and I am at Such & Such Place.  Call when you are here.
HIM: Sorry, I am not coming.  All I want is a massage, you see.
ME: You want a massage...so you requested a BJ?  Interesting logic...
HIM: I just fancied some excitement lol.
ME: Yeah, we all know how "exciting" a massage is...
HIM: I am new to this lol.  Any suggestions?
ME: Sure.  Stop..."lolling" about.

THE END.
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 14 January 2021, 04:27:28 pm
Quote from: Alex Oak on 13 January 2021, 08:45:10 pm
I'm not very proper and I'm gay sooo.... 🤷🏼‍♀️
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 14 January 2021, 04:41:53 pm
Text: hi I am 21 and a virgin would you do 5-10 minutes. I just want to wank over your bum
Me: Fuck off
Text: ok
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 14 January 2021, 04:49:37 pm
Quote from: amy on 14 January 2021, 04:41:53 pm
Text: hi I am 21 and a virgin would you do 5-10 minutes. I just want to wank over your bum
Me: Fuck off
Text: ok
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alex Oak on 14 January 2021, 04:55:29 pm
Quote from: amy on 14 January 2021, 04:41:53 pm
Text: hi I am 21 and a virgin would you do 5-10 minutes. I just want to wank over your bum
Me: Fuck off
Text: ok

I’m dying...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 14 January 2021, 05:33:56 pm
HIM: What location are you?
ME: Vag-China, I would say, if I really have transformed into an area of earth.  Definitely NOT The Virgin Islands, at any rate...

*

HIM: Are you house or hotel?
ME: You're in the habit of texting houses and hotels, then?  You're not yet another of Goodmayes' many recent "abscondees" now, are you...?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 14 January 2021, 06:51:40 pm
Quote from: amy on 14 January 2021, 04:41:53 pm
Text: hi I am 21 and a virgin would you do 5-10 minutes. I just want to wank over your bum
Me: Fuck off
Text: ok

Ohhh I thought I was special  :'(

I ignored him cos he couldn't even call me hun or babe, he started his message: "hi ? ? ? " Gee thanks for being SOOO interested that I became 3 question marks!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 15 January 2021, 12:23:21 am
Quote from: amy on 14 January 2021, 04:41:53 pm
Text: hi I am 21 and a virgin would you do 5-10 minutes. I just want to wank over your bum
Me: Fuck off
Text: ok


 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alex Oak on 15 January 2021, 11:45:28 am
Quote
him: hi love you

(calls me - I'm asleep so don't answer)

me: Good morning. Can I help you?

(calls me using WhatsApp video call. I reject the call)

me: I don't accept video calls, voice only

him: I love you
him: Your panis [sic]
him: Pick
him: Please

me: Where did you get my number?

him: Gay rentmen scort [sic] se [sic]
him: Do you sex?
him: Me

me: Rentmen already has a penis pic on it
me: You don't need any more

him: What
him: More

(he video calls me again, I reject again)

him: What
him: More
him: Please video call
him: On
him: Please

me: No

him: I like
him: Your panis [sic]
him: Sexi [sic] video
him: Give me
him: Please

me: Fuck off

him: No please

me: I'm going to block you now

him: Love you

(I block him)

I really don't know why I let this one go on for so long...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 15 January 2021, 02:15:50 pm
Quote from: Alex Oak on 15 January 2021, 11:45:28 am
him: Do you sex?...
Oh yes, I sex MUCH sex and always sexy six sex...;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 15 January 2021, 02:28:29 pm
Alex, you're so much more patient (and forgiving than me), I would have blocked him immediately at

Quote
him: hi love you

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alex Oak on 15 January 2021, 03:19:59 pm
Quote from: Thoroughly Modern Millie on 15 January 2021, 02:28:29 pm
Alex, you're so much more patient (and forgiving than me)

I suspect I'm way more willing to believe people aren't timewasters than I should be. Some might call it naive...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 15 January 2021, 03:40:06 pm
Quote from: Alex Oak on 15 January 2021, 03:19:59 pm
I suspect I'm way more willing to believe people aren't timewasters than I should be. Some might call it naive...

I take it you have not been in the industry that long? There is more timewasters and deliberate fantasists then genuine customers by far.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alex Oak on 15 January 2021, 04:34:25 pm
Quote from: English Green on 15 January 2021, 03:40:06 pm
I take it you have not been in the industry that long? There is more timewasters and deliberate fantasists then genuine customers by far.

Six months. I did it for a bout a year when I was much younger; and yeah I kind of know that haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 15 January 2021, 05:41:57 pm
Quote from: Alex Oak on 15 January 2021, 03:19:59 pm
I suspect I'm way more willing to believe people aren't timewasters than I should be. Some might call it naive...

Always assume everyone is a time waster, that way, you'll be able to spot the genuine ones immediately!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Alex Oak on 15 January 2021, 05:50:28 pm
Quote from: Thoroughly Modern Millie on 15 January 2021, 05:41:57 pm
Always assume everyone is a time waster, that way, you'll be able to spot the genuine ones immediately!

Takes notes
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 16 January 2021, 09:35:38 am
'U give free sessions'

Quite happy to ignore him for free.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 16 January 2021, 02:25:08 pm
Quote from: Schwiftysquancher91 on 16 January 2021, 09:35:38 am
'U give free sessions'

Quite happy to ignore him for free.

“Yes, but they cost more.”
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Zandie on 18 January 2021, 04:52:18 am
Him: How much for head bbe

Me: £0.50p

Him: Pardon

Me: Exactly

Him: Still dont understand but i guess you made you point

Me :Funny how you dont understand but still get my point
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 18 January 2021, 11:31:27 am
HIM: R u working in lockdown?
ME: No.  I am working in devon.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 18 January 2021, 04:50:45 pm
Well, he texted a few weeks ago, then suddenly dropped out...and I was already in a bit of a catty mood when he contacted me today...

HIM: Can I see you at 3.00pm for a quicky?
ME: Sure.  Suck or fuck?
HIM: Is it OWO?
ME:  I don't know.  Is it (whatever "it" is)?
HIM: Oral without.
ME: So you're asking me if "OWO" means "oral without"?
HIM: Do you do oral without?
ME: Do you always answer questions WITH questions?
HIM: Forget it!

Was it something I said?
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 18 January 2021, 04:59:00 pm
HIM: Are you working today
ME (via my auto-reply): To book, please text me 1) your name 2) where you saw my ad 3) what time you want to book 4) how long you want.  Thank you.
HIM: Hold on
HIM: Driving
HIM: One hour service
HIM: How much?
ME: Sorry, you've only scored 1/4.  That's a fail.  Unlucky.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 20 January 2021, 04:14:02 pm
HIM: What do you get for 15 minutes?
ME: 40 quid minimum.  Why?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BethElizabeth on 20 January 2021, 04:24:57 pm
Him: "If I pay for an hour, can I stay for 90 minutes?"

Me: "No, but we can do a 90 minute booking if you prefer that?"

Him: "So if I pay for an hour I only get an hour?"

Me: "Yes....."

Him: "I'll give it a miss then."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 20 January 2021, 04:56:54 pm
Quote from: BethElizabeth on 20 January 2021, 04:24:57 pm
Him: "If I pay for an hour, can I stay for 90 minutes?"

Me: "No, but we can do a 90 minute booking if you prefer that?"

Him: "So if I pay for an hour I only get an hour?"

Me: "Yes....."

Him: "I'll give it a miss then."

I.....I....can't....even. *mind gone*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 20 January 2021, 06:36:35 pm
Quote from: BethElizabeth on 20 January 2021, 04:24:57 pm
Him: "If I pay for an hour, can I stay for 90 minutes?"...
Poor soul must have missed loads of maths lessons when he was at school. 
He's not just another deluded and idiotic haggler or anything, then...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 20 January 2021, 08:41:39 pm
Quote from: BethElizabeth on 20 January 2021, 04:24:57 pm
Him: "If I pay for an hour, can I stay for 90 minutes?"

Me: "No, but we can do a 90 minute booking if you prefer that?"

Him: "So if I pay for an hour I only get an hour?"

Me: "Yes....."

Him: "I'll give it a miss then."

I wish you’d thought to ask him if he worked for an hour at his job, if he got paid for 90 minutes!!!

Clearly some twit has been giving him extra treats & he thinks it transfers to alllll of us🪓🪓🪓. I’m stateside & I want to just pound this guys face into the GROUND🤬.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 21 January 2021, 11:33:20 pm
 ::)

Hiya hun
I’m looking for the following for tomorrow

I’d like to come to you from either 9am or 10am (I’ll know for definite later) and stay until about 5pm. I’d like my hands to be cuffed, laid out on your bed or sofa and for you to sit your arse down on my face and stretch your legs out. Sit fullweight, watch tv, play on your phone, read a book, generally do anything you like. Basically its no mercy and no stopping.

I’ve had loads of sessions similar where as soon as I struggle or it gets heavy for me, the girl stops. I’ve spent ages looking for someone who will sit there without caring if I can cope. No way out for me no matter how uncomfortable I get. A princess deserves a throne.

I guess the best way to move forward is…

Are you free tomorrow for the time?
Are you cruel enough to not care about the man struggling for hours under your arse?

If you’re happy with both, lets book in and discuss. If you have any female friends and want to increase the weight on me, lets do that too. No girl on girl… it just gives you someone to talk to as you both crush me

xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jessiegirl on 21 January 2021, 11:39:18 pm
I find the longer the message more likely a time waster expecting a response
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 21 January 2021, 11:41:17 pm
Quote from: Jessiegirl on 21 January 2021, 11:39:18 pm
I find the longer the message more likely a time waster expecting a response

Yep! It was obvious he hadn't read a thing on his first sentence, so I returned the favour and didn't bother to read it all.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 22 January 2021, 01:48:53 am
Yeah Hannaah & then we’re figuring out how to bail your ass out of jail for involuntary manslaughter!!🙄🙄
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 22 January 2021, 01:57:39 am
Quote from: Hannaah on 21 January 2021, 11:33:20 pm
  lets book in and discuss.


Yeah. NOPE. Gets off on talking about his essay.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 22 January 2021, 03:34:31 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 21 January 2021, 11:33:20 pm
Hiya hun
I’m looking for the following for tomorrow...
So residents of mental health institutions get what looks like unsupervised access to the internet...?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 22 January 2021, 03:35:07 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 22 January 2021, 01:48:53 am
Yeah Hannaah & then we’re figuring out how to bail your ass out of jail for involuntary manslaughter!!🙄🙄
Exactly!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 22 January 2021, 03:36:54 pm
HIM: Can I see you for a quicky?
ME: Sure.  Suck or fuck?
HIM: I don't generally make it to fuck.
ME: And I don't generally make it to...Japan, say, but what's the answer to my question?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 22 January 2021, 08:41:38 pm
I've had my number one pet hate over and over this week... When the guy makes contact, goes through the whole process of arranging a booking and then asks... How much is it? I refer them to my profile and they say which one is it? So you have no idea who you're speaking to? Drives me potty. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 23 January 2021, 07:30:11 pm
Once again get an AW email asking about a GFE type booking when it says at top of my profile I'm only seeing people I already know for GFE  ::) ::)

Seems he didn't read one word from my profile.

Yes, he has nice feedback but it would help if the twit could read.

Also asked for lingerie outfits and heels and I never like those sorts of requests. I do roleplay, yes, but those outfit requests for roleplays are different.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Zandie on 23 January 2021, 09:57:22 pm
Quote from: Gypsy on 23 January 2021, 07:30:11 pm

Also asked for lingerie outfits and heels and I never like those sorts of requests. I do roleplay, yes, but those outfit requests for roleplays are different.

+1

I hate the "wear the heels" request , so uncomfortable especially when on an outcall.............usually wear my trainers and change shoes at the door  or just dont take the booking at all
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 24 January 2021, 08:17:17 pm
Been surprisingly quiet on the nob head front this week..

Him: Hi are you free for a 30 minute booking at 6.30pm (it's 6pm now). I will need the post code to check it's ok to travel there before it's agreed cheers x

Me: If you don't know where I am, how do you know you can get here before 6.30pm? I'm not working, but even if I was I need an hour's notice. I don't give out my post code unless you've actually booked, if you read my profile all the info you need is actually on there...

Him: Oh sorry about that

Me, to myself, FFS!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 28 January 2021, 12:28:00 am

Hi you sexy bbw I can have ur number xx



Oh, can you now? I think not.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 28 January 2021, 03:44:44 am
Quote from: Zandie on 23 January 2021, 09:57:22 pm
+1

I hate the "wear the heels" request , so uncomfortable especially when on an outcall.............usually wear my trainers and change shoes at the door  or just dont take the booking at all

I tend to change shoes just before I arrive in the car but also not that keen on these requests, especially if it's only for half an hour.

They are rare but I like the ones that just say to come casual. I feel much more relaxed and comfortable.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 28 January 2021, 10:11:32 am
HIM: Hello, I'm thinking about booking you this weekend  I'm just checking that we're on the same page -
ME: We're not.  (CHING).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EnglishAmy40 on 28 January 2021, 07:50:14 pm
Message on AW: hi I'm on business in your area later today. Can I pop in for a £20 blow job?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Missizzy on 28 January 2021, 08:02:30 pm
Quote
Message on AW: hi I'm on business in your area later today. Can I pop in for a £20 blow job?

Oh my days, a whole £20!, send him my way if you can't do him  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 28 January 2021, 09:37:36 pm
Quote from: EnglishAmy40 on 28 January 2021, 07:50:14 pm
Message on AW: hi I'm on business in your area later today. Can I pop in for a £20 blow job?

Don’t spend all that in 1 place now Amy!!!! Spend it wisely! A dollar saved is a dollar earned! Penny wise & pound foolish!!

& all those other annoying things my parents said that I realize now were pretty darn bright. Man, I hate when they’re right. Grump.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EnglishAmy40 on 28 January 2021, 10:10:17 pm
Celeste, it's true. 😸.

MissIzzy, I shoulda said yes and sent him to a false address just for his cheek.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Zandie on 29 January 2021, 08:55:54 am
Him :Im in the area ! Desperately in need of drainage

Him : are you there hun

Him are you free

Him: let me know please , 30mins booking im quite in a rush

Me: i suggest you spank one out somewhere, i dont do rush jobs. Goodbye
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 29 January 2021, 01:18:17 pm
HIM: Can I see you at 11.30 for a quicky?
ME: Sure.  It's £40 and I am at Premier Inn EX1 1**
HIM: What sort of property is it?
ME: A cowshed, naturally.  Why?
HIM: Look: I'm not from the area, so I don't know.  And it's your job to explain where you are.
ME: Let's just leave it, then.  Take care.
HIM: Ok, I am sure I can find you.  Can I still come?
ME: Sure.  Call when you are here.
HIM: Nah, there is too much friction.  I'll leave it.
ME: Well, at least you can separate fact from friction...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 29 January 2021, 02:46:54 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 29 January 2021, 01:18:17 pm
HIM: Can I see you at 11.30 for a quicky?
ME: Sure.  It's £40 and I am at Premier Inn EX1 1**
HIM: What sort of property is it?
ME: A cowshed, naturally.  Why?
HIM: Look: I'm not from the area, so I don't know.  And it's your job to explain where you are.
ME: Let's just leave it, then.  Take care.
HIM: Ok, I am sure I can find you.  Can I still come?
ME: Sure.  Call when you are here.
HIM: Nah, there is too much friction.  I'll leave it.
ME: Well, at least you can separate fact from friction...

What a Div :FF lol You clearly said name of hotel and still wants to know where you are.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 29 January 2021, 02:50:35 pm
Quote from: Dynamite Doll on 29 January 2021, 02:46:54 pm
What a Div :FF lol You clearly said name of hotel and still wants to know where you are.
Exactly, DD!
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 29 January 2021, 07:09:15 pm
Fact from friction! LOOOOOOL

I hate these guys that want you to dance attendance on them. They remind me of the guys who want you to beg for tips on cam (or a strip club.) Like "Ooooh, who wants my MONEY? Dance for me, female meat puppets!"

Nah I'll pass mate, plenty of other normal blokes out there who just want to book me, turn up, drain their balls and bugger off.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 29 January 2021, 08:31:31 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 29 January 2021, 07:09:15 pm
...Nah I'll pass mate, plenty of other normal blokes out there who just want to book me, turn up, drain their balls and bugger off.
+100!
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BethElizabeth on 31 January 2021, 12:18:12 am
Hi you!

Wow! What an incredible person you sound like. I thoroughly loved reading your profile. You seem like such a smart, worldly woman.
I would love to spend some time with you. Although I do not pay for this kind of thing- how degrading to you! I will spend time with you because I WANT to, not because I view you as just a hole to stick myself in.
Trust me, you’ll realize that this is how you should be treated.

Why do you sell yourself like you do?

Can’t wait to make some gorgeous memories together,

Love Jim
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 31 January 2021, 12:25:44 am
Quote from: BethElizabeth on 31 January 2021, 12:18:12 am
Hi you!

Wow! What an incredible person you sound like. I thoroughly loved reading your profile. You seem like such a smart, worldly woman.
I would love to spend some time with you. Although I do not pay for this kind of thing- how degrading to you! I will spend time with you because I WANT to, not because I view you as just a hole to stick myself in.
Trust me, you’ll realize that this is how you should be treated.

Why do you sell yourself like you do?

Can’t wait to make some gorgeous memories together,

Love Jim

Begins planning Beth & Jim’s wedding 👰🏼. I’ll need everyone’s email for the Evite invitations, thanks!!!

Beth dear, what are your colors going to be? Do you need someone to help you cake🍰test? Volunteers. 🙋🏼‍♀️
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BethElizabeth on 31 January 2021, 12:30:04 am
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 31 January 2021, 12:25:44 am
Begins planning Beth & Jim’s wedding 👰🏼. I’ll need everyone’s email for the Evite invitations, thanks!!!

Beth dear, what are your colors going to be? Do you need someone to help you cake🍰test? Volunteers. 🙋🏼‍♀️

 ;D ;D 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 31 January 2021, 09:07:55 am
Quote from: BethElizabeth on 31 January 2021, 12:18:12 am
Hi you!

Wow! What an incredible person you sound like. I thoroughly loved reading your profile. You seem like such a smart, worldly woman.
I would love to spend some time with you. Although I do not pay for this kind of thing- how degrading to you! I will spend time with you because I WANT to, not because I view you as just a hole to stick myself in.
Trust me, you’ll realize that this is how you should be treated.

Why do you sell yourself like you do?

Can’t wait to make some gorgeous memories together,

Love Jim

I've now heard it all.  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EnglishAmy40 on 31 January 2021, 09:53:33 am
Beth he sounds lovely, what's wrong with you? Haha what a chancer. I cannot imagine this has worked with any escort so why he still sends this cut and paste I've no idea. 🤔.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 31 January 2021, 11:39:07 am
Quote from: EnglishAmy40 on 31 January 2021, 09:53:33 am
Beth he sounds lovely, what's wrong with you? Haha what a chancer. I cannot imagine this has worked with any escort so why he still sends this cut and paste I've no idea. 🤔.

I'm pretty sure I've had that one too, and I can confirm it doesn't work ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HiddenTalents02 on 31 January 2021, 02:19:06 pm
‘u free owo’

Do they really expect replies with this  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 31 January 2021, 02:34:08 pm
Him: do you mind me asking how many clients you have seen today as want to be cautious in the current climate? Please don't take offence and if you don't want to answer I understand.

Me: yes I do mind, it is my job and none of your business and if you're that concerned you shouldn't be booking an escort in the first place.


Had another one a couple of weeks ago

Him: I want to make a booking but I'm really nervous about coronavirus, do you do any social distancing in bookings?

Me: well I can get my tits out and wank on one side of the bed and you wank on the other


Whoever said there is no such thing as a stupid question??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 31 January 2021, 04:09:49 pm
Quote from: Maz on 31 January 2021, 02:34:08 pm
...
Him: I want to make a booking but I'm really nervous about coronavirus, do you do any social distancing in bookings?

Me: well I can get my tits out and wank on one side of the bed and you wank on the other
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 31 January 2021, 04:10:57 pm
Quote from: EnglishAmy40 on 31 January 2021, 09:53:33 am
Beth he sounds lovely, what's wrong with you?...
That's more or less what I was going to say, haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 31 January 2021, 04:19:08 pm
Quote from: BethElizabeth on 31 January 2021, 12:18:12 am
Hi you!

Wow! What an incredible person you sound like...
An example of lockdown-induced substance abuse, I fancy...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 31 January 2021, 04:20:19 pm
Quote from: Maz on 31 January 2021, 02:34:08 pm
Him: do you mind me asking how many clients you have seen today as want to be cautious in the current climate? Please don't take offence and if you don't want to answer I understand.

Me: yes I do mind, it is my job and none of your business and if you're that concerned you shouldn't be booking an escort in the first place.
Exactly!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 31 January 2021, 10:01:50 pm
Slim pickings this week I'm afraid girls..

Him: Hi. Hope all is well and wondering if you're working
Me: I was this morning, not now sorry
Him: Tonight possible?
Me: I'm not really seeing ppl I don't know at the moment
Him: That's a shame. I'm probably not far away in xxxx
Me: It's not the distance that's the issue, it's the lock down that is
Him: I can come to you discreetly
Me: I said I'm not working so..
Him *silence*

Why do some clients think they're so special that you should change your plans and try and guilt trip you if don't? Piss off love
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 01 February 2021, 08:22:55 am
Message received 8pm last night (Sunday)(and picked up by me just now, 8am today):


Subject: Booking

Message: I want a booking today


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 01 February 2021, 10:13:37 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 01 February 2021, 08:22:55 am
Message received 8pm last night (Sunday)(and picked up by me just now, 8am today):


Subject: Booking

Message: I want a booking today

lmao
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HiddenTalents02 on 01 February 2021, 01:23:17 pm
Had an advanced booking, everything set. Was to message on the morning and I would send postcode.
Day passed and No texts or calls. Typical tw 
Forget all about it until today. Had tried to call a few times and messaged asking when I was working next. I obviously ignored these.
Just got this text :
‘Hi we were meant to meet the other day but you never sent postcode’
I replied ‘you didn’t confirm but nice try’
Him: oh it was like 12 before I remembered and was to late. I wasn’t blaming you’

Really? Because ‘you never sent postcode’ sounds like you were  :FF
He actually had the cheek to ask for another meet. He’s off to the blocked folder now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 01 February 2021, 01:49:20 pm
I had two book this morning for later today that both cancelled soon after.

One of them I genuinely forgot about but I have started telling them "oh that's ok, I forgot what time you booked anyway so that's better for me"

I know some have genuine reasons to cancel but I'm beyond caring now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 02 February 2021, 10:08:18 am
HIM: Hi.  Do you have pussy hair?
ME: No.  I have human hair.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HiddenTalents02 on 02 February 2021, 07:40:41 pm
Text saying
‘No chance of a wank for £20 and a joint x’

No chance.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EnglishAmy40 on 02 February 2021, 07:45:02 pm
Quote from: HiddenTalents02 on 02 February 2021, 07:40:41 pm
Text saying
‘No chance of a wank for £20 and a joint x’

No chance.

Oh, haha. I had one asking for a twenty quid blowy the other day.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Missizzy on 02 February 2021, 08:57:22 pm
Quote
Text saying
‘No chance of a wank for £20 and a joint x’

No chance.

A while back I had a charming gent offer me a whole three packets of cigarettes for a blowie, but get this for being reasonable! "you don't have to swallow my cum"

I do cry myself to sleep for turning down that awesome offer, what a tragedy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 03 February 2021, 12:14:45 am
Quote from: Missizzy on 02 February 2021, 08:57:22 pm
A while back I had a charming gent offer me a whole three packets of cigarettes for a blowie, but get this for being reasonable! "you don't have to swallow my cum"

I do cry myself to sleep for turning down that awesome offer, what a tragedy.

I think that's normal in..... 'prison'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 03 February 2021, 01:24:48 am
Quote from: BethElizabeth on 31 January 2021, 12:18:12 am
Hi you!

Wow! What an incredible person you sound like. I thoroughly loved reading your profile. You seem like such a smart, worldly woman.
I would love to spend some time with you. Although I do not pay for this kind of thing- how degrading to you! I will spend time with you because I WANT to, not because I view you as just a hole to stick myself in.
Trust me, you’ll realize that this is how you should be treated.

Why do you sell yourself like you do?

Can’t wait to make some gorgeous memories together,

Love Jim

What a gem! I've had a few similar propositions over the years... I wouldn't be able to resist asking dear old Jim what he was doing browsing escort services and the like when he wouldn't dream of partaking of escort services? Maybe he's thinks we're east pray as we must be desperate damsels I'm distress waiting for a white Knight like him to rescue us...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 03 February 2021, 03:33:27 pm
HIM: Can I see you at 3.30 today for half an hour.
ME: Sure.  I am at Such & Such Place.  Call when you are here.
HIM: Can you send me a link to your VS ad?
ME: DIY.
HIM (some minutes later): Sorry, but none of the ads say DIY.
ME: ____ (Too busy laughing to enlighten him ;D).

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 04 February 2021, 10:36:58 am
HIM: Can I see you for a quicky?
ME (via auto-reply): To book, please say 1) your name  2) where you saw my ad  3) what time you want to see me  4) how long you want
HIM: I'm Jonny.  Saw you on AW. Want a quicky.  Can you see me?
ME: Sure.  See you at...the time that you haven't said.
HIM: I'm at your junction and I just want a bj.  Can I play with you as well?
ME: Well, time might be tight, but sure, what do you fancy: draughts, blackjack, or "I Spy"?
HIM: I meant a finger or a lick!
ME: If you want something finger-licking, try KFC.
HIM.  I'm in the car park.  Are you free?
ME: "Free"?  Don't be daft!  I charge, of course.

He was a lovely punter, I am happy to say - I have just sucked him off.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 04 February 2021, 12:34:56 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 04 February 2021, 10:36:58 am
HIM: Can I see you for a quicky?
ME (via auto-reply): To book, please say 1) your name  2) where you saw my ad  3) what time you want to see me  4) how long you want
HIM: I'm Jonny.  Saw you on AW. Want a quicky.  Can you see me?
ME: Sure.  See you at...the time that you haven't said.
HIM: I'm at your junction and I just want a bj.  Can I play with you as well?
ME: Well, time might be tight, but sure, what do you fancy: draughts, blackjack, or "I Spy"?
HIM: I meant a finger or a lick!
ME: If you want something finger-licking, try KFC.
HIM.  I'm in the car park.  Are you free?
ME: "Free"?  Don't be daft!  I charge, of course.

He was a lovely punter, I am happy to say - I have just sucked him off.  ;D

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 05 February 2021, 09:51:56 am
Him: Hello I have been looking at your profile on AW. Can I just ask are you a blonde?
Me: No I'm not    (I'm a natural brunette. My hair and skin make me too dark to ever be blonde!)
Him: Ahh ok, ok. I've been looking at a few profiles, can you just describe yourself please?
Me: No you should know who you are talking to when you call an escort. *Hangs up*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 05 February 2021, 04:00:05 pm
Quote from: Maz on 05 February 2021, 09:51:56 am
Him: Hello I have been looking at your profile on AW. Can I just ask are you a blonde?
Me: No I'm not    (I'm a natural brunette. My hair and skin make me too dark to ever be blonde!)
Him: Ahh ok, ok. I've been looking at a few profiles, can you just describe yourself please?
Me: No you should know who you are talking to when you call an escort. *Hangs up*

From the first question I would have hanged up and blocked.

I got one dick head who asked.

Dick Head: Are you a white female :FF

ME: Cick. I hanged up the phone so fast and blocked the idiot.

I am a black female of course shows in my pics too and says so in my profile many times.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Petlover29 on 05 February 2021, 07:39:58 pm
I got a text

Hi are you free in the next hour then he goes on to ask loads of questions what are already stated on my profile..

He wanted to know if my  pictures was recent and tells me he has  been conned in the past.. he wanted to know if I’m still the same dress size to what my profile states .. wanting to know if my hair colour still the same as my pics in my gallery.. my hair has always been yet black it’s never changed.. he also wanted to know if my hair was a wig or my own hair.. odd never been asked that one before ha.. Then goes on to say he has been disappointed  and let down in the past with bookings....you just know these type end up being nightmares if they are genuine.


I text back and said oh piss off not today sunshine.. I couldn’t bothered at all..then blocked..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 05 February 2021, 07:50:36 pm
He's back! Old GoldenTongue himself.

Good Afternoon,

My names Tom aka Golden Tongue. I use to work on this site a little while ago and specialised in giving very intense and unique cunnigulus experince (hence the name lol). I've decided to start working again and need some content if you are interested? I'm happy to pay some money for your time. If your not intetested then thank you anyway and I hope you have a good rest of your week.

GT x :-p

Me: Piss off I already blocked you once ffs
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 05 February 2021, 08:02:00 pm
This one got right up my nose immediately..

Him: Hi have we met before r you working
Me: Sorry is that two questions? Why are you asking me if we've met? Weren't you there?
Him: Sorry am I limited to one at a time ?
Me: No, I was asking as there were no question marks
Him: Oh sorry, didn't know I was getting an English lesson miss lol
Me: Well basic grammar and punctuation shouldn't need a lesson?
Him: The message above you missed the full stop, so maybe it's not just me!
Me: Why are you asking if we've met before?
Him: I met so many I can't remember you did
Me: Yeah of course you have bye!

I've just reread his messages and I missed this prize: I was about to ask for an hour of no condom fun so I can sim and cip, is that a service you offer? Luckily he was already blocked!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EnglishAmy40 on 05 February 2021, 08:52:59 pm
I hate it when they text me and it says on my profiles at least once, no texting. That's because my screening is done by the way they sound. I still get lots of texts though but yesterday I got this:
 Hey (my work name) it's Steve. I just wondered if we could do bareback today?

We all get asked for things we don't do but this one was trying to fool me into thinking he'd been before.

Scabby git.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 05 February 2021, 10:18:31 pm
EXTRACT FROM A TEXT MESSAGE EXCHANGE:

HIM: I'm just very horny.
ME: Well, if you are trying to get me to offer you lubricious talk free of charge, dream on!
HIM: Christ in my dreams :)
ME: You have lubricious dreams about The Lord?  Jesus Christ!  (That's The Lord's full name, FYI.  Just educating you.  I am certainly not judging you...).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 06 February 2021, 02:28:39 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 05 February 2021, 08:02:00 pm
This one got right up my nose immediately..

Him: Hi have we met before r you working
Me: Sorry is that two questions? Why are you asking me if we've met? Weren't you there?
Him: Sorry am I limited to one at a time ?
Me: No, I was asking as there were no question marks
Him: Oh sorry, didn't know I was getting an English lesson miss lol
Me: Well basic grammar and punctuation shouldn't need a lesson?
Him: The message above you missed the full stop, so maybe it's not just me!
Me: Why are you asking if we've met before?
Him: I met so many I can't remember you did
Me: Yeah of course you have bye!

I've just reread his messages and I missed this prize: I was about to ask for an hour of no condom fun so I can sim and cip, is that a service you offer? Luckily he was already blocked!

Weren't you there? LMFAO  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 07 February 2021, 06:07:17 pm
HIM: I want a blowjob, but I ejaculate tons and it gets everywhere.
ME: My one wish in this life is not to drown in a sea of semen, so I am saying no.
HIM:  Ok, sure.  I'll just masturbate instead.  It's not the same thing, but it leads to the same result.
ME: Oh, cum off it...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 09 February 2021, 12:14:47 am
Just in...

Do you do meets as well?


I replied: "As well as what?"


 ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 09 February 2021, 04:41:44 pm
HIM: Do you allow pussy-licking?
ME: Er...ok, sure, but you have to supply the cat...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 10 February 2021, 12:28:03 am
Him - Puts phone number in subject line

Message body 'Get in touch'

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 10 February 2021, 09:30:44 pm
HIM: My cock is buzin is your piss hole?
ME: You usually fuck "piss holes", then?
HIM: Yes.
ME: In that case...piss off!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 11 February 2021, 02:50:10 am

Subject: hey

Message: giv me ur number


They're all so charming these days.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 11 February 2021, 09:17:26 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 11 February 2021, 02:50:10 am
Subject: hey

Message: giv me ur number


They're all so charming these days.
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 11 February 2021, 09:47:20 pm
This one is bizarre, I'm assuming he wanted me to ask him questions but frankly I just don't have the energy for ppl's mind games!

Him: Smiley face heart eyes emoji
Me: Can I help you?
Him: Hopefully

Like wtf?!

This one actually took my breath aways for the sheer cheek of it!

Him: Are you available about 17.15 for 30mins?
Me: Not to someone I haven't seen, no
Him: You'd have no bookings if you only met people that you have met previously
Me: LMAO because you'd know all about my business wouldn't you!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 16 February 2021, 10:10:23 am
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 11 February 2021, 09:47:20 pm
This one is bizarre, I'm assuming he wanted me to ask him questions but frankly I just don't have the energy for ppl's mind games!

Him: Smiley face heart eyes emoji
Me: Can I help you?
Him: Hopefully

Like wtf?!

I've had someone a bit like this, I asked if he was interested in booking and he wrote 'Yes'  and then didn't follow up with anything else. If these dudes thing I am going to engage in back and forth with them if they are answering in yes and no answers they can go fuck themselves.  No one has the mental energy for that right now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Saffy on 18 February 2021, 11:55:19 am
Oi.

Phone was off had this message and a missed call.

Don't you wish the sometimes they closed these sex sites down cus then they might learn some manners and how to wash. 

It's like watching humanity going down the drain being in this business in normal times but since pandemic it has accelerated.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EnglishAmy40 on 18 February 2021, 04:41:08 pm
Him: I'm ##### from AW. You can see by my 50 plus feedbacks I'm a good client.

I'm thinking hmm if anything AW feedbacks are a negative to me cos hardcore's sometimes expect more bang for their buck. Not to mention all the fake mutual reviews.

Me: Oh Hiya I don't know who you are, have you messaged me on there?

Him: Yes. My name is #####. (I have no idea) I see you do domination, is that on you or me?

Me: I can do both. I quite like being a sub but you can't tie me up. You can pull my hair and call me names, and I'm good at roleplay.

Him: Can I strangle you?

Me: Yes. Although obviously not until I'm half choked to death.

Him: Would you prefer to call me Master?

Sigh. More of a dirty phone call/never happy/too much hassle. Keep going and you're banned.

Me: Master is fine.

Him: Oh I have a black friend with a huge cock...

I hung up haha. As soon as his self righteous tone hit my ears telling me about his positive feedback, I knew.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 19 February 2021, 03:26:10 pm
Subject: Hey

Hey baby i want to facefuck you
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 19 February 2021, 04:11:37 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 19 February 2021, 03:26:10 pm
Subject: Hey

Hey baby i want to facefuck you

Matches my similar one from yesterday...

Subject: .

Message: can i fuck u?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: linglau on 19 February 2021, 11:31:48 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 19 February 2021, 03:26:10 pm
Subject: Hey

Hey baby i want to facefuck you

Had a few a few of those in my time, just ignored.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 20 February 2021, 09:29:00 pm
HIM: Do you do french miss?
ME: No.  I do Spanish and I'm looking to try Mandarin Chinese next.  Why do you ask (and why call me "Miss")?
HIM: Sorry meant french kiss.
ME: Did it really?  Now that's what I call EXTREME semantic shift!  When was this, then: pre- or post-Chaucer?
HIM: Bye.

Wonder what put him off?
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EnglishAmy40 on 20 February 2021, 09:34:09 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 20 February 2021, 09:29:00 pm
HIM: Do you do french miss?
ME: No.  I do Spanish and I'm looking to try Mandarin Chinese next.  Why do you ask (and why call me "Miss")?
HIM: Sorry meant french kiss.
ME: Did it really?  Now that's what I call EXTREME semantic shift!  When was this, then: pre- or post-Chaucer?
HIM: Bye.

Wonder what put him off?
;D

Braziliana, why is that annoying? He made a typo is all. 🤔.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 20 February 2021, 10:38:03 pm
HIM: How far do u travel?
ME: Thailand.  Bangkok is mega-cheap, but so touristy!  Why do you ask?

No response, strangely enough...
;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 21 February 2021, 12:26:26 pm
Phone call "Do you want Daddy's dick?"

Me: No
Him Do you not fancy a fuck?
Me: No
Him:Why not?
Me:I'm not available and not with someone who is not polite
Him:I can be polite

Can't remember exactly what I ended the call with, something like "No thank you".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EnglishAmy40 on 22 February 2021, 02:08:00 pm
Hey babe I came to see you last month. I had to pick my girl up from school and was worried about the time. Would you take £40 for a bj and a wank and a lick of your pussy. No sex. No worries if not, I just thought I'd ask.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Indre on 22 February 2021, 10:17:45 pm
Idiot: Can I ask you something?
Me: ?
Idiot: I'm super horny but low on funds. Is the price still the same if I just come over and give you head?
Me: Imagine going to the supermarket and saying "I can't afford this food shop...but will you cut me a deal if I just lick the produce"
Idiot: Ok, I wasn't trying to be rude.
Me: You certainly managed it
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 23 February 2021, 04:43:38 pm
3am in the morning message  ::)

Hi gorgeous sorry its so late but I think you are gorgeous would you please do an old man a big favour and let him kiss you all over please you are so hot baby xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 23 February 2021, 05:29:57 pm
Increase in timewaster enquiries for me. Message from someone who apparently saw me years ago wanting a 90 minute GFE. Er, no thanks. He said either a GFE or roleplay. I said I could do the roleplay. Then he got called into work  ::)

Who does GFE for longer than an hour? I don't mind with my regs, that's fine, but the majority of times they are over quickly and plenty of slobbering goes on.

I don't think 90 minutes sounded so genuine even if I had seen him years ago.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 23 February 2021, 09:16:43 pm
I've had some classics this week and it's only Wednesday...

Nob head 1

Him: Hey are you free tonight for a half hour incall?
Me: Hello. What time is tonight?
Him: Around 9pm
Me: No that's too late I'm afraid
Him: Ok
Me: What do you do for a living?
Him: I work on an ambulance base
Me: Ok maybe a half hour at 9 would be ok
Him: Can I ask about our time together?
Me: Ask away
Him: Sorry to sound so blunt but I'd like to make you cum lol what sort of things do you enjoy the most
Me: Sorry not really a thing with me
Him: Well I'd like to try, I'm a bit big if that helps lol
Me: Of course you are and this isn't total BS and you're NOT a time waster, bye!

Do men seriously think that cock size has anything to do with orgasms? I thought we'd moved on from this utter nonsense?!

Nob head 2

Him: Hey LadyS you english babe zx
Me: Well I was born in Scotland so..
Him: Your fit x you free later
Me: What times later?
Him: I can pay lot smell your bum why relive self c
Me: I know, why don't you fuck off and work on your grammar and punctuation instead?

Nob head 3

Me: (Calls me instead of texting) Can I help you?
Hm: Can we talk pls
Me: No, I'm in company
Him: So what if you're Romanian why I turn up
Me: Then you'll need a translator?
Him: You need anger management
Me:  :FF

Nob head 4
Him: U workin
Me: You paying by the letter?
Him: ?
Me:  :FF
Him: cash

Nob head 5 (arguably the winner so far this week)

Him: Do you have a sister on AW?
Me: Why?
Him: Every mans dream to have sisters lol
Me: Never. Gonna. Happen
Him: Why not
Me: Really? You need to ask that?
Him: I wasn't expecting you to play with eachother but maybe fighting over my cock wouldbe horny
Me:  :-X :-X :-X :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 24 February 2021, 04:33:08 pm
Ok so this is a camming one but I had to share..

me:-So what brings you here?
him:-was bored at work
me:-Ah I see fair enough
him:-got passengers waiting outside fuckem
me:-passengers? where are you? A bus?
him:-on my bus at the end of journey
me:-honestly?
him:-yeah
me:-Omg
him:-got 10 min wait
me:-Well I would invite you to take me to group but I mean.. bit awkward?
him:-lol, cant get my dick out on bus lol
me:- yes, I would not advise you whip your cock out on the bus....

No wonder they are always late  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 24 February 2021, 10:18:01 pm
Quote from: Schwiftysquancher91 on 24 February 2021, 04:33:08 pm
Ok so this is a camming one but I had to share..

me:-So what brings you here?
him:-was bored at work
me:-Ah I see fair enough
him:-got passengers waiting outside fuckem
me:-passengers? where are you? A bus?
him:-on my bus at the end of journey
me:-honestly?
him:-yeah
me:-Omg
him:-got 10 min wait
me:-Well I would invite you to take me to group but I mean.. bit awkward?
him:-lol, cant get my dick out on bus lol
me:- yes, I would not advise you whip your cock out on the bus....

No wonder they are always late  ::)
;D ;D ;D Now whenever I get on the bus and tap my oyster card I will now always think in my head hmmm wonder if this driver has had a cheeky wank before his shift from cam or his booking pussy hahaha.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 01 March 2021, 04:31:10 pm
HIM: What do you offer?
ME: What are you after?
HIM: It was my birthday yesterday so I want the experience of a lifetime
ME: Yes, I find it very easy to believe that you were born last night...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EnglishAmy40 on 01 March 2021, 07:28:29 pm
I wasn't sure where to put this as it fits a few threads. Weird one today, not my usual type but made a booking. Fat guy turns up and at the door he said the classic, "oops I've left my wallet in the car, I'll go and get it". I was thinking, wow that's a first for me. But he came back and gave me the money. I went to get ready and came out in my smalls. He was coughing all over the place so I asked if it was a new cough and he said it was. I grimaced and said I was worried about Covid. But anyway he told me he'd already had it but then said if I felt uncomfortable it was fine and he'd leave it. He couldn't put his jacket on quick enough. I can only assume he didn't like what he saw but I was glad he went. I aired the flat as best I could but FFS turning up with a cough.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 03 March 2021, 10:41:51 pm
AW message that said

"can i cum down ur throat "

Now usually I would just ignore and carry on with my day but I'd had a shitty day full of time wasters, cancellations and general idiots so something in my brain snapped and I responded :

"Hello, I'm fine thank you for your polite introduction and request to be considered as a potential client. You seem wonderful with your literate and polite message but I'm afraid I shall have to decline, I do hope you find another lady who is willing to fulfil your demands"

The response actually made me laugh and cheered me up with the sheer audacity of it;

"well that didn't  answer my question and it wasn't a polite introduction. I guess the product doesn't match the profile."

Had me in stitches. So apparently "can i cum down ur throat" is a perfectly polite and reasonable introduction ; I've obviously been doing it wrong all these years. And the "product" not matching the profile... That's a new one for me too. I just blocked and moved on because it isn't worth the time and effort of a ping pong sniping match with a blatant time waster but thought I'd share because it made me laugh ; after the day I had it was either that or cry and chuck my work phone in the bin  :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EnglishAmy40 on 07 March 2021, 09:14:25 am
Hi (my name),

I would like to see you for a two hour incall on Monday 8th and can meet from 8am until mid afternoon, if we get along then I'd like to discuss a long term arrangement with bareback (extra fee of £250). I can meet anytime over the next two weeks. Please can you let me know if you can meet? And is there a number to contact you on? I apologise for any offence caused Xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 07 March 2021, 01:41:16 pm
Quote from: EnglishAmy40 on 07 March 2021, 09:14:25 am
Hi (my name),

I would like to see you for a two hour incall on Monday 8th and can meet from 8am until mid afternoon, if we get along then I'd like to discuss a long term arrangement with bareback (extra fee of £250). I can meet anytime over the next two weeks. Please can you let me know if you can meet? And is there a number to contact you on? I apologise for any offence caused Xx

I hope you told him to add about 5 extra zeros ....😉

“No doubt just an error on your end.”
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 07 March 2021, 08:12:06 pm
Subject: I'm in a very naughty mood
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I love to tease and be teased.

I am looking for a woman to grind her clit along the length of my uncovered cock, soaking me in her wetness. Taking me a close as she dares to being inside her.

Are you tempted? If so leave a contact number please.




So tempted. Not.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EnglishAmy40 on 07 March 2021, 08:30:23 pm
Haha Celeste. And of course it says I don't offer that service. I think that's the pull for them. They must send round Robbins out to various escorts hoping one will go for it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 10 March 2021, 09:33:34 pm
I've had a run of new client enquiries over the past week or so. I do GFE and prefer longer bookings with a good social and intimacy mix. I like things being personal and slow. The latest enquiry was the dreaded "first timer" who didn't provide the introduction or experience he wanted that I asked for. He was half answering things but diving into wear this that and the other and did I do this that and the other. I'm not a robot. I choose my own makeup and clothes and I'm not a machine where he pulls levers and gets a prize. Plus he was angling for a booking after lockdown which is pointless as I'm not booking that far ahead. I wanted to blast back everything about his booking attempt was wrong. Instead I took a softer approach and tried to get him to slow down and answer my questions and he did the same thing again of half answering and followed up with more questions. As things turned out he had just looked at my pictures and read my blog. He hadn't read my profile so I blew him off.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: barbiegirl on 10 March 2021, 09:37:46 pm
Quote from: EnglishAmy40 on 07 March 2021, 09:14:25 am
Hi (my name),

I would like to see you for a two hour incall on Monday 8th and can meet from 8am until mid afternoon, if we get along then I'd like to discuss a long term arrangement with bareback (extra fee of £250). I can meet anytime over the next two weeks. Please can you let me know if you can meet? And is there a number to contact you on? I apologise for any offence caused Xx

Haha I received that one
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverpoolgal123 on 11 March 2021, 11:44:02 am
Wud luv 2 cum fill you x x

That was the email subject, once opened he had just put a kiss, William Shakespeare he is not
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 12 March 2021, 10:59:18 am
I'm a  bit out of practice with answering calls so goofed a bit this morning. That aside I always like to know why they are booking me and a little about them as a person. There is also the extra of pandemic safety. Todays enquiry sounded decent enough but wasn't forthcoming. I know men can see women as a list of specifications and if you meet their specification you're fuckable. The thing is I do GFE and like things to be social. I shy away from PSE because purely physical sex does nothing for me as an experience and I'm not confident handling it. Under normal times if I was used to handling the PSE element of calls I might be able to screen them confidently but I'm not there yet with it. So I try to restart and get the prospective client to open up insted of rattling of specificaions. In the end he hung up when I said we had our wires crossed. I've found a lot lately have just been looking at my pictures and not fully reading through my blurb. I find generally I'm never happy with clients who haven't read my profile.

We hadn't actually got as far as discussing safety. I have a regular penciled in for this week and have a 14 day quanrantine between clients. This prospect wanted to see me either today or tomorrow and sounded keen but I couldn't in all honesty accept a call from someone who wasn't living as a hermit or working in a very secure Covid-secure and tested environment nor want to tak the risk of passing on something froma  client who was assymptomatic to a potentially vuilnerable client.

I'm left feeling like shit after this call. I'm doubting whether I handle calls well or am too jittery over the bedroom plus I lose out as I reject on average at least 50% of prospective clients. On the other hand I don't want to feel anxious or treated like a bouncy castle and take a client just for the money with a risk of something going bad.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 12 March 2021, 01:18:41 pm
Quote from: Tickle on 12 March 2021, 10:59:18 am
I'm a  bit out of practice with answering calls so goofed a bit this morning. That aside I always like to know why they are booking me and a little about them as a person. There is also the extra of pandemic safety. Todays enquiry sounded decent enough but wasn't forthcoming. I know men can see women as a list of specifications and if you meet their specification you're fuckable. The thing is I do GFE and like things to be social. I shy away from PSE because purely physical sex does nothing for me as an experience and I'm not confident handling it. Under normal times if I was used to handling the PSE element of calls I might be able to screen them confidently but I'm not there yet with it. So I try to restart and get the prospective client to open up insted of rattling of specificaions. In the end he hung up when I said we had our wires crossed. I've found a lot lately have just been looking at my pictures and not fully reading through my blurb. I find generally I'm never happy with clients who haven't read my profile.

We hadn't actually got as far as discussing safety. I have a regular penciled in for this week and have a 14 day quanrantine between clients. This prospect wanted to see me either today or tomorrow and sounded keen but I couldn't in all honesty accept a call from someone who wasn't living as a hermit or working in a very secure Covid-secure and tested environment nor want to tak the risk of passing on something froma  client who was assymptomatic to a potentially vuilnerable client.

I'm left feeling like shit after this call. I'm doubting whether I handle calls well or am too jittery over the bedroom plus I lose out as I reject on average at least 50% of prospective clients. On the other hand I don't want to feel anxious or treated like a bouncy castle and take a client just for the money with a risk of something going bad.

Tickle, it's not you, it's him, and others like him who don't bother to read your profile properly and expect you to bend to their will, while not observing your likes and boundaries.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 12 March 2021, 03:11:51 pm
If they genuinely want to book I find they don't get in their own way like that. They'll take the path to least resistance to getting their end away. They'll answer anything and everything if theyre horny  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 12 March 2021, 03:49:45 pm
Hi sweetie
I am a dentist based in Colchester and I would like to offer you free dental care including teeth whitening in exchange for your services.
Would you be interested in this arrangement?
Looking forward to hearing from you
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 12 March 2021, 04:26:29 pm
Quote from: Thoroughly Modern Millie on 12 March 2021, 01:18:41 pm
Tickle, it's not you, it's him, and others like him who don't bother to read your profile properly and expect you to bend to their will, while not observing your likes and boundaries.

Quote from: SW on 12 March 2021, 03:11:51 pm
If they genuinely want to book I find they don't get in their own way like that. They'll take the path to least resistance to getting their end away. They'll answer anything and everything if theyre horny  ;D

All true. I find the clients who are too zeroed in I probably don't want to see. I'm happy with the clients who like to share a bit about themselves and indicate they have read my profile. I still feel like crap but I know what I like and what don't like. It's served me well so far so I'm not breaking with my routine.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 12 March 2021, 05:33:12 pm
Quote from: EveEveEve on 12 March 2021, 03:49:45 pm
...I am a dentist based in Colchester and I would like to offer you free dental care including teeth whitening in exchange for your services.
Would you be interested in this arrangement?...
I would love to accept your very fair and realistic offer, only Colchester is a tad too upmarket for the likes of me...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 12 March 2021, 05:36:27 pm
Quote from: EveEveEve on 12 March 2021, 03:49:45 pm
Hi sweetie
I am a dentist based in Colchester and I would like to offer you free dental care including teeth whitening in exchange for your services.
Would you be interested in this arrangement?
OR: Sorry, I already have this arrangement with half a dozen sugar-daddies.  But thank you for at least not offering me money in exchange for my services as that would have been seriously insulting...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 12 March 2021, 05:38:34 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 12 March 2021, 05:36:27 pm
OR: Sorry, I already have this arrangement with half a dozen sugar-daddies.  But thank you for at least not offering me money in exchange for my services as that would have been seriously insulting...

Hahhaha - not sure what a teeth whitening goes for ? It could’ve be been a compliment right??
In what world ?! Seriously. Lmao
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 12 March 2021, 08:50:40 pm
TBF, dental🦷is mad expensive here stateside. Toss me his #, maybe he wants an older American 🇺🇸?
😆
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: neutralC on 12 March 2021, 08:52:38 pm
Quote from: EveEveEve on 12 March 2021, 03:49:45 pm
Hi sweetie
I am a dentist based in Colchester and I would like to offer you free dental care including teeth whitening in exchange for your services.
Would you be interested in this arrangement?
Looking forward to hearing from you

I thought dentist are well off?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 17 March 2021, 04:53:51 pm
double post
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 17 March 2021, 04:54:13 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 17 March 2021, 04:53:51 pm
"Available fti?"

I don't know what fti means?  ???

"I'd like to book I'm young, good looking, blahblah. "

 I really don't need to know what you look like and the ones that think they are good-looking (at least to the point of saying it out loud) tend to be arrogant twats that I don't want to see.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 21 March 2021, 12:35:13 pm
NB: my advert currently says "OUTCALLS ONLY" no fewer than 6 times.

HIM: Hello.  I'm looking for an incall.
ME (cheerful, upbeat tone): Yeah?  Well, you have come to the exact WRONG place. (CHING).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 22 March 2021, 01:57:43 pm
When I ask if they know the fee and they say, '£££ should be enough'.
Statement or Question? I'm not sure if they're covering up that they haven't read it or what? I won't book them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 22 March 2021, 02:04:16 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 22 March 2021, 01:57:43 pm
When I ask if they know the fee and they say, '£££ should be enough'.
...but SS, it's a punter's job to set an escort's rates.
Didn't you get the memo?
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 22 March 2021, 02:09:04 pm
HIM: I see your advert says "outcalls only".  Can you do an incall, though?
ME: Oh, sure.  I just pretend not to do them as I don't want too much business.  Money is for losers, I say...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 22 March 2021, 02:34:44 pm
 ;D silly me!

Quote from: Braziliana on 22 March 2021, 02:09:04 pm
Money is for losers, I say...
Totally stealing this  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 22 March 2021, 02:45:47 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 22 March 2021, 02:34:44 pm
;D silly me!
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Liverpoolgal123 on 23 March 2021, 05:35:08 pm
Today
Him: postcode??
Me:  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 23 March 2021, 07:44:58 pm
Quote from: Liverpoolgal123 on 23 March 2021, 05:35:08 pm
Today
Him: postcode??
Me:  :FF

Whenever I get such text I always respond with this the meaning taken from online dictionary  ;D ;D

in Britain, a short series of letters and numbers that is part of an address, and shows exactly where a place is

it pisses them off lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PinUpGirl8 on 23 March 2021, 08:21:13 pm
Iv been getting so many of these lately

‘You available? What’s your address?’

Such a serious lack of common courtesy!

 :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 24 March 2021, 04:22:38 am
Quote from: Dynamite Doll on 23 March 2021, 07:44:58 pm
Whenever I get such text I always respond with this the meaning taken from online dictionary  ;D ;D

in Britain, a short series of letters and numbers that is part of an address, and shows exactly where a place is

it pisses them off lol

Bwahhhhhhh!!! I do this on tour as well.

“Where are you?”

In Orange🍊County.

“I know THAT, where?”

Im at the beach🏝 (big fat lie, that).

“ARE YOU AT A HOTEL?” (getting heated now)

Yes.

“Which one?”

The Hilton.

It’s like dude. You haven’t  even told me your GD name. I’m not giving you diddly squat.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 24 March 2021, 08:56:29 am
"You do beatdown"

Erm what?

"St Austell?"

Have tried google maps?

Do these people communicate with everyone in their life like that? Or is it some kind of punter short hand because they think we can't decipher a full sentence.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 24 March 2021, 11:37:36 am
Quote from: SW on 24 March 2021, 08:56:29 am
...Or is it some kind of punter short hand because they think we can't decipher a full sentence.
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 24 March 2021, 11:39:04 am
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 24 March 2021, 04:22:38 am
“Where are you?”

In Orange🍊County.

“I know THAT, where?”

Im at the beach🏝 (big fat lie, that).
I'm just enjoying your graphics, CM, haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 24 March 2021, 04:28:18 pm
Him: Hello I am looking for a regular outcall at Stoke on Trent

Me: Ok that's fine let me know when you're thinking

Him: Would be a regular meet every few months. Looking for something a little different?

Me: Like what?

Him: Well I'm skinny and used to have a woman lift me over her shoulder and carry me around outside. Not really into anything sexual

Me: Well it would be £1000 an hour to lift and carry some twat up and down the streets for however long you were planning.


No reply after that.  :)

Had another one insisting on having the postcode to allow him to work out his arrival time which I refused to give him. I gave him the area and road names it was near to, so to me it should be enough to roughly work out.

He then said it should take about 25 mins and would like the two girls for £100 to which I told him to jog on. He then said "it says that on your profile but ok". I replied with "errrrr wrong profile!"  :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 24 March 2021, 08:31:32 pm
These ones make me fear for the future of humanity..

Hm: Are you working today?
Me: I am yes
Him: Where abouts are you please?
Me: It's on my profile, under the "WHERE" tab
Him: Sorry, just seen that, what time would you be free?
Me: Do you have a time in mind?
Him: Now lol
Me: Sorry I don't do immediate appointments. I need an hours notice. You can't exactly do "now" unless you're stood outside my front door and you're not?
Him: Ok I have an appointment at 3 (this was 2pm) maybe have to wait until later in the week
Me: But if you didn't know where I 'm located how would you know you could make a 3pm appointment? Very odd

Is it me or?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 24 March 2021, 10:58:12 pm
Quote from: Maz on 24 March 2021, 04:28:18 pm
Him: Hello I am looking for a regular outcall at Stoke on Trent

Me: Ok that's fine let me know when you're thinking

Him: Would be a regular meet every few months. Looking for something a little different?

Me: Like what?

Him: Well I'm skinny and used to have a woman lift me over her shoulder and carry me around outside. Not really into anything sexual

Me: Well it would be £1000 an hour to lift and carry some twat up and down the streets for however long you were planning.


No reply after that.  :)


OMG I roared  ;D   what planet do they live on!??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 24 March 2021, 11:06:24 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 24 March 2021, 08:31:32 pm
These ones make me fear for the future of humanity..

Hm: Are you working today?
Me: I am yes
Him: Where abouts are you please?
Me: It's on my profile, under the "WHERE" tab
Him: Sorry, just seen that, what time would you be free?
Me: Do you have a time in mind?
Him: Now lol
Me: Sorry I don't do immediate appointments. I need an hours notice. You can't exactly do "now" unless you're stood outside my front door and you're not?
Him: Ok I have an appointment at 3 (this was 2pm) maybe have to wait until later in the week
Me: But if you didn't know where I 'm located how would you know you could make a 3pm appointment? Very odd

Is it me or?!

No it's not you. There should be some system in place that automatically deletes any message wanting an appt "now"
Until we have the technoligy to teleport it's clearly not going to work!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KendalMintCake on 24 March 2021, 11:26:30 pm
Quote from: PinUpGirl8 on 23 March 2021, 08:21:13 pm
Iv been getting so many of these lately

‘You available? What’s your address?’

Such a serious lack of common courtesy!

 :FF :FF :FF :FF

Ditto
I must get 50 a day like this but another dozen or so that are just obscene with just the odd one or two that can be very nice and I think are worth replying to.
But how not to book 》 is to be charming at the start, lure me in and tie me up in a lengthy text exchange thinking I have found a real gent and then ghost me after a hour or more without booking after they have got off from talking to a real life girl for free :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 24 March 2021, 11:32:48 pm
Quote from: KendalMintCake on 24 March 2021, 11:26:30 pm

But how not to book 》 is to be charming at the start, lure me in and tie me up in a lengthy text exchange thinking I have found a real gent and then ghost me after a hour or more without booking after they have got off from talking to a real life girl for free :FF

Always a red flag when they go into massive lengthy emails /texts about what they are wanting.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 25 March 2021, 12:01:51 pm
Is it just me or are the ones that ask for postcodes to work out how long it'll take to travel just time wasters/address/postcode collectors? Had another one this morning.

Surely if they read the advert properly and Google they can roughly work it out  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 25 March 2021, 12:16:30 pm
Quote from: Maz on 25 March 2021, 12:01:51 pm
Is it just me or are the ones that ask for postcodes to work out how long it'll take to travel just time wasters/address/postcode collectors? Had another one this morning.

Surely if they read the advert properly and Google they can roughly work it out  :FF

Literally. And unless they’re wanting a booking within the hour ... surely they’ll be able to make it on time. Ugh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 25 March 2021, 01:00:04 pm
Quote from: EveEveEve on 25 March 2021, 12:16:30 pm
Literally. And unless they’re wanting a booking within the hour ... surely they’ll be able to make it on time. Ugh.

Yes good point!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 25 March 2021, 02:23:47 pm
Quote
1hr coffee walk st paul

No, thank you.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Saffy on 25 March 2021, 05:56:33 pm

I get a lot of these they are always timewasters.  I say to them "give me your postcode and I will tell you how long it will take to get to me". Response will be "I think I will leave it".  Their noses are bigger than their dicks.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 26 March 2021, 04:30:37 pm
Quote from: Saffy on 25 March 2021, 05:56:33 pm
I get a lot of these they are always timewasters.  I say to them "give me your postcode and I will tell you how long it will take to get to me". Response will be "I think I will leave it".  Their noses are bigger than their dicks.

Haha love this response, think I'll try it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Zandie on 27 March 2021, 01:45:18 pm
Him: Babe, are you free....... wanted to meet for massage and hour long deepthroat and face fucking session, no sex

Me: thats fine, that would be £1000 for an hour long deep throat and face fucking session, as i expect i wont be able to use my mouth / throat for a week after.

Him: fair enough LOL! Thanks for letting me know anyways x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 27 March 2021, 06:38:00 pm
This one was just boderline creepy..

Him: Hi are you free this morning?
Me: Hello, what time were you thinking?
Him: I'm outside Morrisons in XXXXXXX so as soon as you're free
Me: Yep sorry I don't do immediate appointments like that. I'm not sat around in full regalia 24/7. Another time maybe
Him: Oh ok, how much notice do you need?
Me: Well at least an hour, as it says on my profile
Him: Ok, as you say, maybe another time

I dunno why but that last sentence creeped me out a bit?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 27 March 2021, 06:43:27 pm
Quote
Hello Darling,

So what is your real name?

I’m a middle aged man with excellent hygiene. I’m traveling to London for work in April and I am looking for companionship and GFE. I cannot see you face in the photos, but I assume you are gorgeous. Are you available in April?

So what is your real name?

I look forward to hearing from you.


Screened himself out, not least because my profile clearly states I'm not available until mid-May!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 27 March 2021, 09:25:32 pm
Quote from: Thoroughly Modern Millie on 27 March 2021, 06:43:27 pm

Screened himself out, not least because my profile clearly states I'm not available until mid-May!

These really work best IRL but🤷🏼‍♀️...

Answer #1: Euphegenia Doubtfire.

Answer #2: Mary Poppins.

Answer #3: Vicky Vale (from the 1989 Batman with Michael Keaton. Old school, baby!!). The best part about using this is eventually someone will twig to it & be like, ummm dude. That’s not her real name...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 28 March 2021, 09:23:50 am
I'm going to start binning the ones that ask if I'm available, then say 'ok I'll get back to you'.

Nine times out of ten they come back and say they can no longer make it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 28 March 2021, 09:05:47 pm

SUBJECT: Sweetie

MESSAGE: I would love to meet you {his phone number}



 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 28 March 2021, 09:46:55 pm
Had one ask just now if I do outcalls so I say yes. He then asks if I send pics via whatsapp which I never do. He asked if I could come tonight so I told a white lie that I was already booked just to shake him off and then he asks if I can just come and see him now!! I cut him off in the end as he was clearly just a pest.

Even as I write this, he's been trying to phone me back. ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 31 March 2021, 01:43:35 pm
“” what’s your availability etc yada yada “”

... loving the effort ...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 31 March 2021, 01:47:18 pm
Similar...
Him'-How's you're availability?'
Me'-Fine  :)'
Him- 'What :(?'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 31 March 2021, 06:48:41 pm
This nob head who's been blocked pretty much since he first messaged me..

At 03.41am last night, just one word "available"
Like, seriously?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 31 March 2021, 09:01:48 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 31 March 2021, 06:48:41 pm
This nob head who's been blocked pretty much since he first messaged me..

At 03.41am last night, just one word "available"
Like, seriously?

Lol I had one of those the other day. Just one word questions

One from yesterday I could tell was a time waster straight away
Him: are you available today for a booking?
Me: hello,  yes I'm available
Him: what will you be wearing when I arrive?
Me: clothing

Silence after that.

Another just now...

Him: are you free this evening for 30mins?
Me: yes I could do 8pm
Him: ok £90 and in Doncaster?
Me: yes
Him: do you offer anything for 15mins or is it just 30?
Me: what does my advert say? I'm no longer free this evening now
Him: I don't know I didn't read it
Me: clearly you did, you knew the location and rates. Common sense to read the advert first really
Him: I looked at the price, pictures and location. Maybe it is but I couldn't really care less about the drivel half of them have written on there
Me: then why enquire at all then? Lucky I'll never have to pay someone to fuck me
Him: sure
Me: should've gone to specsavers
Him: why are you still talking?
Me: just making a point, I'm done now. Good luck with your cheapskate 15mins
Him: lol, ok

Maybe I could've been more grown up about it but he deserved it
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 01 April 2021, 07:32:52 pm
Quote from: Maz on 31 March 2021, 09:01:48 pm
Him: I looked at the price, pictures and location. Maybe it is but I couldn't really care less about the drivel half of them have written on there


Maybe I could've been more grown up about it but he deserved it

Yes he did deserved every bit of it. See how controlling he was at the end? I like to play with them for my market research too, pick their brains a bit. He's honestly explained why he doesn't bother. I felt for a long time they regard reading providers bios as a waste of time. That's their perogative says Bobby Brown. But it's a red flag that always gets a refusal from me too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 01 April 2021, 08:00:23 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 01 April 2021, 07:32:52 pm
Yes he did deserved every bit of it. See how controlling he was at the end? I like to play with them for my market research too, pick their brains a bit. He's honestly explained why he doesn't bother. I felt for a long time they regard reading providers bios as a waste of time. That's their perogative says Bobby Brown. But it's a red flag that always gets a refusal from me too.

His comments were completely unnecessary, the absolute tosser. Seem to be attracting no end of time wasters lately and guys wanting more for less.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 01 April 2021, 09:38:53 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 01 April 2021, 07:32:52 pm
Yes he did deserved every bit of it. See how controlling he was at the end? I like to play with them for my market research too, pick their brains a bit. He's honestly explained why he doesn't bother. I felt for a long time they regard reading providers bios as a waste of time. That's their perogative says Bobby Brown. But it's a red flag that always gets a refusal from me too.

If they don't give a shit what we're all about why should we extend them the same courtesy?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 02 April 2021, 03:47:40 pm
Quote from: fallen angel on 01 April 2021, 09:38:53 pm
If they don't give a shit what we're all about why should we extend them the same courtesy?

Yes, I see what you mean. I used to dismiss them immediately. Rinsing them for information helps me understand their motivation. Hopefully I can manipulate the next 'gormless caller' who I'd normally flick off - into being a client. When I have the patience!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 03 April 2021, 07:58:17 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 31 March 2021, 01:47:18 pm
Similar...
Him'-How's you're availability?'
Me'-Fine  :)'
Him- 'What :(?'
Yahaha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 03 April 2021, 07:59:34 pm
Quote from: Maz on 31 March 2021, 09:01:48 pm
Him: are you available today for a booking?
Me: hello,  yes I'm available
Him: what will you be wearing when I arrive?
Me: clothing

Silence after that.
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 03 April 2021, 08:29:18 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 02 April 2021, 03:47:40 pm
Yes, I see what you mean. I used to dismiss them immediately. Rinsing them for information helps me understand their motivation. Hopefully I can manipulate the next 'gormless caller' who I'd normally flick off - into being a client. When I have the patience!

You'll have to give tips SS!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 03 April 2021, 08:44:25 pm
Had a couple which I couldn't resist engaging with..

Him: Hi are you playing?
Me: Playing what exactly?
Him: Role play
Me: I never do role-playing, costumes or any other similar nonsense (Here's where I would have bowed out if I was him)
Him: You ok for normal time

I'm not actually sure wtf normal time is?!  ;D

Him: Hi are you free today?
Me: Possibly later. Did you have a time in mind? How long?
Him: I was hoping to sneak out to get bj
Me: So you've not answered either question?
Him: Ok when ever your free
Me: Silence
Him: 15 mins
Him: 30 mins
Me: checked out and blocked
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 03 April 2021, 09:44:17 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 03 April 2021, 08:44:25 pm

Him: You ok for normal time

I'm not actually sure wtf normal time is?!  ;D

Haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 05 April 2021, 06:54:52 pm
Message on AW

Him: Postcode for incall?

Me: *deletes message and logs out*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 06 April 2021, 07:40:17 pm
Literally just had this bizarre conversation..

Him: Hi lady I'm John I'm a plumber gas engineer handyman if you need anything doing free x
Me: Don't you run a business then?
Him: Yes I do
Me: So why would you work for free?
Him: We all need some fun now and again
Me: Oh so you want my services for free? Uhm. Never Gonna Happen
Him: Not fun in that way id enjoy your company as I work it's my turn on
Me: But as I charge for my time I'd effectively be losing money?

Me? WTF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 06 April 2021, 08:47:33 pm
Snowy, you get the oddest shit....🤦🏼‍♀️
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PinUpGirl8 on 06 April 2021, 09:06:01 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 06 April 2021, 07:40:17 pm
Literally just had this bizarre conversation..

Him: Hi lady I'm John I'm a plumber gas engineer handyman if you need anything doing free x
Me: Don't you run a business then?
Him: Yes I do
Me: So why would you work for free?
Him: We all need some fun now and again
Me: Oh so you want my services for free? Uhm. Never Gonna Happen
Him: Not fun in that way id enjoy your company as I work it's my turn on
Me: But as I charge for my time I'd effectively be losing money?

Me? WTF

These men really will try the stupidest moves to get anything for free haha!! I’d rather pay double the odds than a client fo any of my handy work for free!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 06 April 2021, 09:32:57 pm
CelesteManchester I know right? I'm thinking of maybe collating them all into a book. A non-fiction obvs although I don't think ppl would believe that it was all true  ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 06 April 2021, 09:45:41 pm
This one came via that bloody McCoy's site

Him: Hi. Wonder if Grace in *previous address* is avail?
Me: Oh dear you've come via McCoy's haven't you?
Him: Yes
Me: A website that steals content and writes absolute nonsense. I'm not at that address anymore, I'm not in my 50s and if you want pictures try visiting my actual profile on Adultwork
Him: Oh sorry. How do I find that?
Me: uhm, Well maybe try Google (fucking seriously)
Him: 30 or 60mins plz, where r u then?
Me (trying not to lose my shit) Yep that's not entirely helpful. A half hour OR an hour?
Him: On AW what's your profile name?
Me (Again biting my tongue) *Name*
Him: Got it. Excellent
Me (again Jesus wept): So. How long and when were you thinking of? Obviously this is your first time
Him: 30 mins for a first visit sometime this week
Me (whilst punching myself in the face) Right so I can't confirm anything without an actual day and time
Him: I'll let you know
Me: Yes, of course you will

 :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 07 April 2021, 08:01:30 am
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 06 April 2021, 09:45:41 pm
Him: 30 mins for a first visit sometime this week
Me (whilst punching myself in the face) Right so I can't confirm anything without an actual day and time
Him: I'll let you know
Me: Yes, of course you will
Haha!
And in no way is it insulting of him to imply that he will be testing / auditioning you during his (obviously-never-to-happen) booking - "30 mins for a first visit"...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 07 April 2021, 08:02:11 am
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 06 April 2021, 08:47:33 pm
Snowy, you get the oddest shit....🤦🏼‍♀️
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 07 April 2021, 08:05:40 am
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 06 April 2021, 09:32:57 pm
CelesteManchester I know right? I'm thinking of maybe collating them all into a book. A non-fiction obvs although I don't think ppl would believe that it was all true  ;D ;D
Honestly, SW, this thread would make millions as an alternative everyman's joke-book, haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 07 April 2021, 12:07:59 pm
This thread shows we get the absolute worst type of men contacting us with the worst type of conversations or lack of should i say.

Could you imagine a plumber or a landscape gardener getting these most ridiculous texts
"Hi"
"Where are you"
" you around"
"You free"
" you look nice"
" nice pair of plungers"
" you up for it"

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 07 April 2021, 12:26:55 pm
Quote from: English Green on 07 April 2021, 12:07:59 pm
This thread shows we get the absolute worst type of men contacting us with the worst type of conversations or lack of should i say.

Could you imagine a plumber or a landscape gardener getting these most ridiculous texts
"Hi"
"Where are you"
" you around"
"You free"
" you look nice"
" nice pair of plungers"
" you up for it"
Haha!
Well said, EG!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 10 April 2021, 11:54:51 am

"do u fart"


That was it! No "hi" or "thanks" etc.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sera_fin on 10 April 2021, 06:52:49 pm
Him:

'Babe&#128536; do you do outcalls to Heathrow?? I am there tomorrow xxx'


I don't know who babe&128536 is.

 ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 11 April 2021, 11:30:40 am
Quote from: sera_fin on 10 April 2021, 06:52:49 pm
Him:

'Babe&#128536; do you do outcalls to Heathrow?? I am there tomorrow xxx'


I don't know who babe&128536 is.

 ???

It is the code for an emoji that couldn't be read by your phone. It's the blowing kiss with heart one.

😘 <<< if that comes through for you. If not, just google the entire code &#128536;
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sera_fin on 11 April 2021, 11:33:53 am
Another gem received this morning

Hi sexy

Hope you're doing we'll.

I really like your profile.
WOW Very nice pictures , you look stunning babe can't stop wanking over your pictures. Mmmmmm

Let's meet for our first naughty sex session. Can't wait to lick and eat your sweet pussy , smack your lovely arse , suck your juicy tits and and fuck you balls deep. Mmmm

I would like to meet you for regular naughty 1 hr naughty sessions.

Let's arrange our first session .

Do you have contact number sexy babe ?

You are very very sexy babe mmmmmm

This gives me the dry boak. Yuck. All the nopes.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sera_fin on 11 April 2021, 11:35:00 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 11 April 2021, 11:30:40 am
It is the code for an emoji that couldn't be read by your phone. It's the blowing kiss with heart one.

😘 <<< if that comes through for you. If not, just google the entire code &#128536;

Ahhhh. I am a luddite.

Thank your for the clarification!

&#128536

right back atcha!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 11 April 2021, 01:17:37 pm
Quote from: sera_fin on 11 April 2021, 11:33:53 am
Another gem received this morning

Hi sexy

Hope you're doing we'll.

I really like your profile.
WOW Very nice pictures , you look stunning babe can't stop wanking over your pictures. Mmmmmm

Let's meet for our first naughty sex session. Can't wait to lick and eat your sweet pussy , smack your lovely arse , suck your juicy tits and and fuck you balls deep. Mmmm

I would like to meet you for regular naughty 1 hr naughty sessions.

Let's arrange our first session .

Do you have contact number sexy babe ?

You are very very sexy babe mmmmmm

This gives me the dry boak. Yuck. All the nopes.

I came in here to complain about it too. You can tell it was a copy and paste message from the bowels of hell. SO gross...almost deleted it but am tempted to write him some asshole reply instead though that might be exactly what he wants, attention.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 11 April 2021, 09:02:40 pm
I actually got my shit together on a Sunday afternoon (I know) for this one.. I've just realised I've got previous messages from him *face palm* that's my bad

Him: Alright gorgeous are you around today?
Me: Hello, I'm not sure. Did you have a time in mind? How long?
Him: Whenever really, was thinking half hour or an hour?
Me: Sorry bit vague? Can't confirm unless you have more concrete details
Him: 6pm for half hour?
Me: Can do 7pm?
Him: Ok, perfect
Me: Where are you coming from?
Him: (My town) what's the post code?
Me: I don't give out my post code. Can you text at 6pm sharp to confirm and I'll send car park details. Ok?
Him: Ok no worries, what area roughly?
Me: Why? If you're in my town you're not an hour away so?
Him: Ok no problem

6pm comes and SHOCKER no confirmation

Me: Right as you haven't confirmed or supplied any reason for cancelling, your booking is cancelled and you're blocked. Don't contact me again. Thanks :)
Him (at 6.26pm) Wow Actually being serious?
Me: You were given instructions you chose not to follow? This is my business and I potentially lost other appointments as you failed to confirm. One strike and you're out :)
Him: Ok fine no worries
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 11 April 2021, 09:06:49 pm
OMG sera_fin I had the exact same email yesterday. Was sick in my mouth tbh and he was blocked immediately!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sera_fin on 12 April 2021, 12:54:51 am
I came in here to complain about it too. You can tell it was a copy and paste message from the bowels of hell. SO gross...almost deleted it but am tempted to write him some asshole reply instead though that might be exactly what he wants, attention.


Quote from: Snow Whitest on 11 April 2021, 09:06:49 pm
OMG sera_fin I had the exact same email yesterday. Was sick in my mouth tbh and he was blocked immediately!

Feeling slightly hurt now. I thought I was special.  ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: thickthighs on 13 April 2021, 05:03:02 pm
wow slightly irritated this afternoon, text communication with a potential client, Then after half a dozen also messages he says I think I’ll leave it because I’m getting a very unfriendly vibe from you. My communications are rather clear and concise and straight to the point. I said to him I was quite taken aback because I’ve never had anybody say that to me before, more the opposite. He said he was expecting more of a flirty exchange of messages, to which I responded there is a thin line between discussing a booking and providing wank fodder.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 13 April 2021, 05:34:10 pm
Quote from: thickthighs on 13 April 2021, 05:03:02 pm
wow slightly irritated this afternoon, text communication with a potential client, Then after half a dozen also messages he says I think I’ll leave it because I’m getting a very unfriendly vibe from you. My communications are rather clear and concise and straight to the point. I said to him I was quite taken aback because I’ve never had anybody say that to me before, more the opposite. He said he was expecting more of a flirty exchange of messages, to which I responded there is a thin line between discussing a booking and providing wank fodder.  :FF

Sounds like a typical timewaster.
Like you I prefer to keep communication concise and to the point to avoid the wank fodder brigade.
The flirting starts when they have handed the cash over.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 13 April 2021, 06:31:58 pm
Thick thighs i have had that too a couple cancelling because i will not provide free wank talk before a booking and basically one saying "i don't seem enough fun as i won't entertain dirty texts" and another said " if your not going to give me a hard on before i turn up seems a bit unfair"

I just told them to piss off and said i very much doubt you are a genuine client as genuine clients don't expect free needy pervy texts.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 13 April 2021, 07:10:10 pm
I just returned from 3 weeks in California, quite the hike for me at clear across the country, & had 1 who wanted a RP later in the evening. Fine fine🙄, whatever, he gives me the information etc.

Then he says, “Would you like to start the role play thru text now until I get there tonight?”

No sir, I most assuredly would NOT. Unless you plan on sending me the entire donation upfront? I didn’t even bother asking him that, bc I had a full afternoon & wouldn’t have been able to answer him as much as I suspected he’d have wanted me to🙄.

I was pretty poleaxed tho. I get the occasional wanting sexy msgs to wind them up before the session, but to begin the RP hours before the appt AND before payment received was preposterous.

He accepted it with good grace & did show, but it definitely was a new 1 in my book. Scowl.😡
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 13 April 2021, 10:29:29 pm
My mate put a name to this type of caller's mentality. He's 'Surrounded by Idiots'

Potato Head- Do you do outcalls?
Me- yes  :)
Potato Head - How much?
Me-It depends where you are, where are you?
Potato Head- SE1
Me-Where in SE1?
Potato Head- SE1
Me-Where in SE1?
(Am I actually speaking Yiddish it's a simple question?)

Potato Head -Tower bridge...don't you know ? >:( don't you come from London :o
(Obviously this geography teacher is dead to me now, so I try to push him gently over the edge  >:D)
Me- I haven't worked for Royal Mail, so I don't know the 124 postcodes by heart.

He  puts the phone down. I giggle. ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 13 April 2021, 11:17:24 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 13 April 2021, 10:29:29 pm
My mate put a name to this type of caller's mentality. He's 'Surrounded by Idiots'

Potato Head- Do you do outcalls?
Me- yes  :)
Potato Head - How much?
Me-It depends where you are, where are you?
Potato Head- SE1
Me-Where in SE1?
Potato Head- SE1
Me-Where in SE1?
(Am I actually speaking Yiddish it's a simple question?)

Potato Head -Tower bridge...don't you know ? >:( don't you come from London :o
(Obviously this geography teacher is dead to me now, so I try to push him gently over the edge  >:D)
Me- I haven't worked for Royal Mail, so I don't know the 124 postcodes by heart.

He  puts the phone down. I giggle. ;D

Hahahahaha I'm going to steal that use that response to idiots
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 13 April 2021, 11:39:58 pm
Let's make it a hoe meme! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 14 April 2021, 04:07:11 am
Quote from: English Green on 13 April 2021, 06:31:58 pm
Thick thighs i have had that too a couple cancelling because i will not provide free wank talk before a booking and basically one saying "i don't seem enough fun as i won't entertain dirty texts" and another said " if your not going to give me a hard on before i turn up seems a bit unfair"

I just told them to piss off and said i very much doubt you are a genuine client as genuine clients don't expect free needy pervy texts.

I find that responding with "I'm happy to sext prior to your appointment ; however as my time isn't free I charge extra for this and obviously payment is upfront via cashapp or bank transfer. Would you like me to send payment details?" - I've had a couple take me up on it but the majority are timewasters wanting free wank material with no intention of turning up, so as soon as they realise that I'm not going to entertain them for free they will magically get called into work...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cass on 14 April 2021, 03:51:25 pm
Just had somebody tell me he wants to come 'deep into my guts'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 14 April 2021, 08:46:20 pm
Quote from: Cass on 14 April 2021, 03:51:25 pm
Just had somebody tell me he wants to come 'deep into my guts'.

What, haven't you got the...stomach for that, Cass?
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cass on 14 April 2021, 08:56:19 pm
Quote
What, haven't you got the...stomach for that, Cass?

 ;D I nearly gagged when I read the text so obviously not!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 14 April 2021, 09:09:09 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 13 April 2021, 11:39:58 pm
Let's make it a hoe meme! ;D

We need more of them!   ;D

I've also had idiot potential clients who reply with the partial postcode even after asking again,  I don't have time to play with them any more though, my patience is too thin.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Supergirl on 15 April 2021, 09:10:08 am
Woke up to a lovely email this morning

"You good at deep throat? Need a girl who can take my whole big cock"

I don't normally reply but who wants to wake up to that!?
I replied  with "Hi and thanks for your charming introduction. I'm sure your large penis is as real as your manners"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 15 April 2021, 11:32:40 am
Quote from: Supergirl on 15 April 2021, 09:10:08 am
Woke up to a lovely email this morning

"You good at deep throat? Need a girl who can take my whole big cock"

I don't normally reply but who wants to wake up to that!?
I replied  with "Hi and thanks for your charming introduction. I'm sure your large penis is as real as your manners"

I would of added this word lol

I'm sure your Imaginary .... 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 15 April 2021, 07:34:56 pm
Subject: Fancy it?

Message: Fir young lad in your bed in an hour?

I was two hours late reading his message and needless to say I deleted on receipt  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 16 April 2021, 10:10:38 pm
I seem to be repeating myself a lot to what seem like intelligent, professional, white collar blokes.
The lockdown has rot their brains to mush.
It's time to put the phone down and block rather than babytalk grown adults.

Me-What would you like to book?
TweedleDee- An hour
Me- Yes and what would you like in the hour?
TweedleDeeYee- Oh! a massage and sex.
Me-I don't mix the two.
TweedleDee- Can I have massage with a b..i..t of sex?
Me- I don't mix the two.
TweedleDee-ok ???

....a few seconds later he's crashed my boredom barrier.
Me- Let's not waste each others time here shall we. Goodbye.


How the F do they actually communicate with civvy women-semaphore?
Or do civvy chicks just accept this kind of oddness?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 17 April 2021, 04:04:24 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 16 April 2021, 10:10:38 pm
I seem to be repeating myself a lot to what seem like intelligent, professional, white collar blokes...
...How the F do they actually communicate with civvy women-semaphore?
Are there actually any women where these "try-it-on-ers" come from (namely, Planet Narcopath)?
;D
(I nicked that joke from another member by the way, haha!)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 17 April 2021, 05:17:57 pm
 :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sera_fin on 18 April 2021, 09:45:23 am
message on AW this morning

I want you on your back as I grab each ankle and throw them back ! Pushing my thick young white cock deep inside you as I wrap my arm around your neck and pull you closer into me ! I whisper in your ear how sexy you are as I start to drive my thick cock in and out of your soaking wet pussy x
Imagine me spreading you wide, slowly running my hands up your thighs as I grab them ankles and spread you apart! My tongue running all the way up your slit until I grab your clit between my lips and start sucking gently !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 18 April 2021, 07:00:09 pm
Quote from: sera_fin on 18 April 2021, 09:45:23 am
message on AW this morning

I want you on your back as I grab each ankle and throw them back ! Pushing my thick young white cock deep inside you as I wrap my arm around your neck and pull you closer into me ! I whisper in your ear how sexy you are as I start to drive my thick cock in and out of your soaking wet pussy x
Imagine me spreading you wide, slowly running my hands up your thighs as I grab them ankles and spread you apart! My tongue running all the way up your slit until I grab your clit between my lips and start sucking gently !

OMG,  that....that's just about killed me.  I'm dead now. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 18 April 2021, 07:19:49 pm
Sera ~ we’re all agog to hear about this incredible, amazing night you of course availed yourself of with this guy (for free), then made him brekkie in the a/m & sent him off with a kiss💋.

WE NEED DETAILS, DAMMIT!!!!!🤷🏼‍♀️
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: JaneDough on 19 April 2021, 01:31:29 am
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 19 April 2021, 01:54:22 am
“Hiya looking good on AW” with zero questions about a booking, like IGAFF that some perv likes to trawl thru sex for sale sites, looking at pics and not booking but contacting to say that I’m looking good....FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GET A FUCKING LIFE!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 19 April 2021, 06:48:03 pm
Sorry but aren't most adult cocks brown? Not white. #justsayin'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 21 April 2021, 02:55:23 pm
Quote from: TantricTease on 19 April 2021, 01:54:22 am
“Hiya looking good on AW” with zero questions about a booking, like IGAFF that some perv likes to trawl thru sex for sale sites, looking at pics and not booking but contacting to say that I’m looking good....FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GET A FUCKING LIFE!

Had a version of this the other day

I just wanted to email you saying I love your pictures, your boobs look amazing ?????? would love to have my face in them but doubt my wife would appreciate it.. Will just have to keep admiring from here ??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DarcyLady on 23 April 2021, 09:56:10 pm
'You are going to love my cock.'

No, I'm not going to care about your cock at all.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: linglau on 24 April 2021, 12:19:11 pm
Quote from: Dynamite Doll on 15 April 2021, 11:32:40 am
I would of added this word lol

I'm sure your Imaginary .... 
;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 26 April 2021, 09:55:41 am
Received at 2am Sunday night/Monday very early morning, still with corona restrictions:


Are you working tonight? I wanna have sex with you right now xxx


/slaps self in face
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 26 April 2021, 12:03:05 pm
Just received this beauty in an AW email, “why isn’t your number up yet you just logged in” from a guy with zero feedback and who just made his profile today :FF :FF.

I resisted sending a reply..honestly
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 27 April 2021, 08:39:59 am
Had an enquiry yesterday from a guy saying for discretion he wanted to do everything by email and did this when he made bookings with an agency that I worked with too. I'd never met him through the agency though.

I said that's fine, so he messaged yesterday saying he wanted to see me 10.15am today for an hour which I said was fine and gave postcode, (I sent my reply just before 8pm yesterday. I was desperate for an early night so then went to bed).

This morning I see his replies from last night asking where he needs to go when he gets there and apologising that the phone thing is a pain and wanted to confirm arrangements.

I've replied to him now but should I have done anything better/differently? I've probably missed seeing him now but I kind of don't think it's my problem if he doesn't want to use a phone.




Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Escortx on 27 April 2021, 09:20:07 am
I wouldn't see him because you can't check the number for reports or report if anything goes wrong. It's not hard to get a cheap phone for adults work
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 27 April 2021, 09:20:50 am
Quote from: Maz on 27 April 2021, 08:39:59 am
Had an enquiry yesterday from a guy saying for discretion he wanted to do everything by email and did this when he made bookings with an agency that I worked with too. I'd never met him through the agency though.

I said that's fine, so he messaged yesterday saying he wanted to see me 10.15am today for an hour which I said was fine and gave postcode, (I sent my reply just before 8pm yesterday. I was desperate for an early night so then went to bed).

This morning I see his replies from last night asking where he needs to go when he gets there and apologising that the phone thing is a pain and wanted to confirm arrangements.

I've replied to him now but should I have done anything better/differently? I've probably missed seeing him now but I kind of don't think it's my problem if he doesn't want to use a phone.

You can only do what you can do, good simple communication and there comes a point where you need your time off or for whatever else you do including sleeping.

Also a booking only happens when it happens, a great thing I learned some years ago.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 27 April 2021, 09:57:55 am
I wouldn't have given him a booking at all if he can't comply by my rules to do so.
Always a red flag to me when they don't want to call or show their number.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 27 April 2021, 10:16:15 am
Thank you. I don't see why he couldn't have checked first thing for a reply.

He's only been on the site a couple of days. I've messaged him again explaining many wouldn't even see him without providing a number to contact him on and that most girls will only send a rough location before giving the address.

He has just tried to phone me now on a witheld number and left voicemail while I write this. I kept ignoring all the calls because I didn't know it was him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BethElizabeth on 27 April 2021, 10:27:36 am
Phone call just now:

Him: "Hello do you do oral without a condom?"
Me: "No, it's always covered, no exceptions."
Him: "What a waste... you're JUST A WOMAN!"

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Welshchick86 on 27 April 2021, 10:32:30 am
Quote from: BethElizabeth on 27 April 2021, 10:27:36 am
Phone call just now:

Him: "Hello do you do oral without a condom?"
Me: "No, it's always covered, no exceptions."
Him: "What a waste... you're JUST A WOMAN!"

 :FF :FF
Sometimes, well.. most of the time I really hate men.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 27 April 2021, 03:06:23 pm
Quote from: BethElizabeth on 27 April 2021, 10:27:36 am
Phone call just now:

Him: "Hello do you do oral without a condom?"
Me: "No, it's always covered, no exceptions."
Him: "What a waste... you're JUST A WOMAN!"

And clearly he's just a dick.
What a rude pig.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 27 April 2021, 03:25:40 pm
Him: Hi S.  Hi J.  Are you free for an incall today at 4:30?

I ignored him as I'd marked him as a TW from a couple of weeks ago. I assume the other girl replied and said no, so five mins later, I get a second text from him.

Him: Hi J are you free at 4:30 for an incall?

Me: No. Piss off and how dare you message me and another escort at the same time.




Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 27 April 2021, 10:58:16 pm
Quote from: BethElizabeth on 27 April 2021, 10:27:36 am
Phone call just now:

Him: "Hello do you do oral without a condom?"
Me: "No, it's always covered, no exceptions."
Him: "What a waste... you're JUST A WOMAN!"

I really don't know why they make such a big deal of it, I had one the other day look a bit sceptical when I got the condom out for oral, I don't make a secret of it, it's on my profile.
"Oh you do covered oral" he says ... Yep says I. 
2 mins later he's asking me to ease off or he's going to shoot .... I rest my case ....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 28 April 2021, 07:42:09 am
Quote from: DarcyLady on 23 April 2021, 09:56:10 pm
'You are going to love my cock.'

No, I'm not going to care about your cock at all.
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Welshchick86 on 29 April 2021, 05:27:55 pm
Twat - out call

Me - hello to you too. I don’t offer outcalls.

Twat - do you need a good seeing to

Me - not by you. Goodbye.

Proceeds to ring me three times before I block  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 29 April 2021, 06:57:41 pm
Dare I say it, it's been fairly quiet on the twat front. Some of my straight to spam favourites from last week..

Massive TW been blocked for months: Hi my name is Matt and would luv to cum see you... are you available tomorrow?

So even if he wasn't previously blocked the use of "luv" and "cum" are sackable offences as are the following:

Other massive TW already on the shit list: Hello how are you Doing? You free later on today's WTF is "today's"?!!

TW: Hello how are you? Just wondered if you was free later on x

Was free?!! Runs screaming from the room..

BTW in a former life I taught English in Italy, yes I am the grammar police :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 29 April 2021, 09:43:36 pm
I agree poor spelling and txt tlk means they'd better book a date with their hand because I'm not seeing  them. They're normally wallies if you give them the benefit.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 29 April 2021, 10:08:16 pm
Quote from: Welshchick86 on 29 April 2021, 05:27:55 pm
Twat - out call

Me - hello to you too. I don’t offer outcalls.

Twat - do you need a good seeing to

Me - not by you. Goodbye.

Proceeds to ring me three times before I block  :FF

When will these idiots get it into their heads, we don't give a shit about cock, it's all about the cash  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 30 April 2021, 05:20:48 pm
Subject: Hi
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hey hey, how could I make a booking to cum all over your face or get real nasty ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 30 April 2021, 05:49:30 pm
Him: I have contacted you before twice in last 6 months wanting to know if you do anal i like it deep and like a woman to really show enthusiasm and seduce me with everything naught on offer finally i would like to unload on your ass at the end. Can you make my hard earned money worth it? Problem is you have previously ignored me not very professional but i hope you reply this time!

Decided to respond to this entiltled shit

Me: First of all we been in a lockdown and it was made clear i was not available for any bookings if you bothered to read anything you would know that, secondly i don't offer those services and have no intention of working my arse off with bad mannered self entiltled men. Hope that helps. Take care
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 30 April 2021, 08:13:24 pm
EnglishGreen I love you  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 30 April 2021, 11:03:59 pm
Quote from: English Green on 30 April 2021, 05:49:30 pm
Him: I have contacted you before twice in last 6 months wanting to know if you do anal i like it deep and like a woman to really show enthusiasm and seduce me with everything naught on offer finally i would like to unload on your ass at the end. Can you make my hard earned money worth it? Problem is you have previously ignored me not very professional but i hope you reply this time!

Decided to respond to this entiltled shit

Me: First of all we been in a lockdown and it was made clear i was not available for any bookings if you bothered to read anything you would know that, secondly i don't offer those services and have no intention of working my arse off with bad mannered self entiltled men. Hope that helps. Take care

"Can you make my hard earned worth it" !!???  WTF  Entitled prick!   Do they not realise how hard earned our money is having to put up with their shit!???
I think you were extremely reserved in your reply EG ... I'd have had to completely torn him a new one!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 01 May 2021, 05:13:33 pm
Quote from: English Green on 30 April 2021, 05:49:30 pm
Him: I have contacted you before twice in last 6 months wanting to know if you do anal i like it deep and like a woman to really show enthusiasm and seduce me with everything naught on offer finally i would like to unload on your ass at the end. Can you make my hard earned money worth it? Problem is you have previously ignored me not very professional but i hope you reply this time!

Decided to respond to this entiltled shit

Me: First of all we been in a lockdown and it was made clear i was not available for any bookings if you bothered to read anything you would know that, secondly i don't offer those services and have no intention of working my arse off with bad mannered self entiltled men. Hope that helps. Take care

You win the award today. Mind you, IDKW award it is🤣....the put-them-beautifully-in-their-place award? That’ll work!🏆🥇🏵🎖
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 01 May 2021, 06:24:27 pm
Quote from: fallen angel on 30 April 2021, 11:03:59 pm
"Can you make my hard earned worth it" !!???  WTF  Entitled prick!   Do they not realise how hard earned our money is having to put up with their shit!???
I think you were extremely reserved in your reply EG ... I'd have had to completely torn him a new one!

What i would have really liked to have said was " fuck off you sad prick, what is hard work is us trying to earn a living and putting up with all kinds of smelly and rude creatures that came up from the swap" but i needed to remain a bit professional he got the hint with a reply back to me saying wow. Hahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 02 May 2021, 11:29:24 am
Had one this morning asking if I was available so said yes. I work currently in a small town outside of Sheffield.

He asked for a postcode which I didn't want to give so told him the incall was near X Road in X Town and advised him to park on that particular road. He said 'I'm coming from Doncaster to Chesterfield. Don't know Sheff I just know that I will be near you so would need a postcode please.' I just told him it wasn't in Sheffield and heard nothing more from him.

I gave him the road he needed to park on, all he had to do was Google it. As it turns out, he had a report on CE for leaving skid marks on some poor girl's hand towel when he left so glad I didn't see him.


I also offer spanking as an alternative service on specialist sites with optional extras, you get all sorts of weird and wonderful messages on there but this one amused me


Him: I live near Hucknall in Nottingham. Could you meet me at your nearest train station? I don't know your town that well.

Me: I won't meet you at the station. You would need to get a taxi

Him: You mean to tell me I have to travel and you won't even meet me at the station? How far away are you? Is there a bus stop near you?

Me: It's a 15-20 minute walk from the station. There are bus stops just outside the house. Everyone else manages to make their own way here.

Him: Ok I would need your address and bus service number and name of the bus stop please.

Me: I am not travel information nor a pick up service. You need to find someone else
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 02 May 2021, 03:19:06 pm
Quote from: Maz on 02 May 2021, 11:29:24 am
Had one this morning asking if I was available so said yes. I work currently in a small town outside of Sheffield.

He asked for a postcode which I didn't want to give so told him the incall was near X Road in X Town and advised him to park on that particular road. He said 'I'm coming from Doncaster to Chesterfield. Don't know Sheff I just know that I will be near you so would need a postcode please.' I just told him it wasn't in Sheffield and heard nothing more from him.

I gave him the road he needed to park on, all he had to do was Google it. As it turns out, he had a report on CE for leaving skid marks on some poor girl's hand towel when he left so glad I didn't see him.


I also offer spanking as an alternative service on specialist sites with optional extras, you get all sorts of weird and wonderful messages on there but this one amused me


Him: I live near Hucknall in Nottingham. Could you meet me at your nearest train station? I don't know your town that well.

Me: I won't meet you at the station. You would need to get a taxi

Him: You mean to tell me I have to travel and you won't even meet me at the station? How far away are you? Is there a bus stop near you?

Me: It's a 15-20 minute walk from the station. There are bus stops just outside the house. Everyone else manages to make their own way here.

Him: Ok I would need your address and bus service number and name of the bus stop please.

Me: I am not travel information nor a pick up service. You need to find someone else

I  hate when they ask me to find bus routes etc for them
 I just reply that I drive and don't use public transport; however there is a fantastic thing called the Internet which is a literal mine of information such as bus routes and timetables...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 02 May 2021, 03:25:44 pm
“Hey u free”

Auto reply

“Hey u free”

Auto reply

“Hey u free”

Auto reply

“What u up2”

Auto reply

“U free now”

Auto reply

“Want 2 cum to a mmmf”

Auto reply

“Hey u free”

Auto reply


Thrilled at the prospect of more of the same this evening, and all from the one person  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Welshchick86 on 02 May 2021, 05:40:41 pm
Quote from: Rosie13 on 02 May 2021, 03:25:44 pm
“Hey u free”

Auto reply

“Hey u free”

Auto reply

“Hey u free”

Auto reply

“What u up2”

Auto reply

“U free now”

Auto reply

“Want 2 cum to a mmmf”

Auto reply

“Hey u free”

Auto reply


Thrilled at the prospect of more of the same this evening, and all from the one person  ::)
I’m sorry but I lol’ed at this one 😆🤣😆
They really don’t have common sense or brains do they  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 02 May 2021, 07:00:25 pm
Quote from: Welshchick86 on 02 May 2021, 05:40:41 pm
I’m sorry but I lol’ed at this one 😆🤣😆
They really don’t have common sense or brains do they  :FF

It fills me with joy. He’s been messaging for days at all hours and I’m still yet to respond personally 😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 02 May 2021, 08:51:10 pm
I got EIGHT calls last night in between 2 & 4 am from the same #😡🪓. I was asleep💤, but when I woke up I was PISSED. Was so hoping he’d call back so I could climb down his throat, but he didn’t.
Douche nozzle.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 02 May 2021, 09:50:13 pm
I only advertise phone chat yet I'm emailed this evening to ask for when I'm escorting and what the prices are
To which I replied
Where does it show on my profile details that I'm escorting ? :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: thickthighs on 03 May 2021, 01:08:06 pm
Quote from: Kiss on 02 May 2021, 09:50:13 pm
I only advertise phone chat yet I'm emailed this evening to ask for when I'm escorting and what the prices are
To which I replied
Where does it show on my profile details that I'm escorting ? :FF

This is one of my biggest bugbears, read the effing profile  :FF, I used to politely reply but I don’t bother now, unless I’m in a shit mood lol especially to those filthy c***s who ask for BB
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 04 May 2021, 09:22:22 pm
A while ago I was walking the dog and walked past another dog owner. He looked very familiar and I clicked it was a client I'd seen a long time ago and only once. His dog and mine chose to play with each other and ignore us calling them back, so we ended up making small talk, whoring never came up and I came to the conclusion he didn't recognise me or he did but had the common sense not to mention it.

Bumped into him a few more times on the dog walks and one day I was just walking back into my garden and he was walking past. He suddenly exclaims, oh it IS you! I wasn't sure, you look quite different like this. He then proceeds to ask me directly outside the house with neighbours milling about on both sides of the road if he can book for some deep deepthroat! I. Was. Fuming.  Thankfully, no one heard. Or if they did, no one has mentioned anything. :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 04 May 2021, 10:44:11 pm
So Hannah this client now knows where you live. That's creepy i would have been so annoyed especially saying that type of thing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 05 May 2021, 12:08:03 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 04 May 2021, 09:22:22 pm
A while ago I was walking the dog and walked past another dog owner. He looked very familiar and I clicked it was a client I'd seen a long time ago and only once.
Bumped into him a few more times on the dog walks and one day I was just walking back into my garden and he was walking past. He suddenly exclaims, oh it IS you! I wasn't sure, you look quite different like this. He then proceeds to ask me directly outside the house with neighbours milling about on both sides of the road if he can book for some deep deepthroat! I. Was. Fuming.  Thankfully, no one heard. Or if they did, no one has mentioned anything. :FF :FF :FF :FF :FF

OMG! I couldn't believe what I'd just read!

What the hell is wrong with these idiots!?  It is officially true ... their brains are in their pants! Though it makes you wonder if this particular idiotic specimen even has one lonely brain cell!

How would they like it if we happened to be passing their place and spotted them then shouted out something equally inappropriate in front of their neighbours.
I genuinely think that some of them do view us as a totally different species of human being who don't have a normal life or worries regarding discretion and are purely here to provide sexual services to them and that's what we live for.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 05 May 2021, 01:31:59 pm
Quote from: fallen angel on 05 May 2021, 12:08:03 pm

I genuinely think that some of them do view us as a totally different species of human being who don't have a normal life or worries regarding discretion and are purely here to provide sexual services to them and that's what we live for.

This in a nutshell. I'm still fuming. Now I've just had a reg ask if I'm around today to be told I'm not currently working and I'll be available next from x. Not that I'm fully booked, but I am not available, not around, not currently working. To be asked can you not fit me in.  :FF

A few other regs are winding me up lately with constant demands, moving around booking times, constantly being late, random how you doing texts and so on. Time to dump a lot of them.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 05 May 2021, 01:55:13 pm
“I understand you are a submissive, so I wonder if you might be looking for a master to educate you?

Master xxxx”

“Naw pal, I just want clean respectful clients who turn up and leave on time and pay for their bookings”

Every time I get this enquiry it inevitably leads to “well yes, of course I’ll pay at first...”

No no no, you always pay 😡
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 05 May 2021, 11:24:32 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 05 May 2021, 01:31:59 pm
This in a nutshell. I'm still fuming. Now I've just had a reg ask if I'm around today to be told I'm not currently working and I'll be available next from x. Not that I'm fully booked, but I am not available, not around, not currently working. To be asked can you not fit me in.  :FF

A few other regs are winding me up lately with constant demands, moving around booking times, constantly being late, random how you doing texts and so on. Time to dump a lot of them.  :FF

I know, Hanns. I had this last year from my most annoying pest client (whom I finally sacked). I’d advised him I’d be home & on vacation from X Dec to X Jan .... & he asks when we can get together🪓🪓.  I said, Nathan you understand what being on vacation means, right?  And honestly, it’s not entitlement in this particular case; he really is just that dumb🤦🏼‍♀️. Bless.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 06 May 2021, 03:39:46 pm
This absolute genuis who apparently can't read the words written down in front of him. Had to block him. When you spend longer than the actual booking requested on text admin, it's a hell bloody no from me..

TW: Hi I'm matt and I was wondering if you would be available later today at 4pm for an half an hour please and if you dont mind me saying im not to keen on doggy sex thank you
Me: Not working today (wtf is doggy sex?!)

TW again: Hi again I asked you earlier if you would be available tomorrow but as you said you weren't but I also forgot to ask if your free this thursday afternoon at 3pm or later thank you and take care
Me: Hello, how long for?
TW: Hi sorry i didn't get to soon i was in the kitchen and i was like half an hour please thank
TW: Could you tell me please how much it was for half an hour thank you
Me: Fees are noted on my profile
TW: I see you charge £70 for half an hour which is perfect for me and can you tell me please which location you are currently in the moment thank you
Me: My location is noted on the WHEN and WHERE tab
TW: I saw that you mentioned in your tab where and when it says a small village new Gosport and I read someone's report about you and they say you're based in gosport


Me, I give up. My where tab says I'm near the town centre in Gosport. I just can't do it anymore  :FF :FF :FF


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 09 May 2021, 02:20:25 pm
Quote
Greetings
With regards I state that I will be in London probably in last week of May for business.I saw your profile on xxxxxxxxxxxx & wish to spend nice time of GFE for outcall overnight date with mature person like yourself. I am caucasian, aged- 61, Non smoker, vegetarian, clean shaven, 168 cm height, medium built gentleman. I am in good health & have not got Corona or any other disease.
Regarding service - I am a gentleman so no hard stuff from my side, just want to state few points candidly and clearly so that we remain truthful with each other. Politely don't get offended if you do not like them-
- As I understand that Oral is without condom but if you are comfortable if I can cum on your face? 
- I usually take viagra pill before overnight date if you feel fine with it? I hope you have good stamina as I would like to fuck you for longer duration (Multiple shots), we   will take breaks and refreshments between the fucks.
- I desire if you can be horny & wild when we are together in our hotel room.
- Please don't mind as I would like to know that there is no major change in shape or size of your vagina and vulva (as it happens after pregnancy if lady's body is not    exercised properly) and if your vagina is not loosen much & is tight?
If you don't feel comfortable or have any questions with the any part of service let me know if we can workout about it.
I will send you deposit 2000 GBP copy of my ID and confirm our booking when my travel plan is cleared by my office but please don't mark your calendar before my confirmation which I will do shortly.
I hope we spend some good time and enjoy each other's company.
Thanks


Never, ever, have I been sent anything like this before.

Thankfully, his message demonstrated many times over that he had not read my website at all, so screened himself out.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 09 May 2021, 05:49:28 pm
Quote from: Thoroughly Modern Millie on 09 May 2021, 02:20:25 pm
Never, ever, have I been sent anything like this before.

Thankfully, his message demonstrated many times over that he had not read my website at all, so screened himself out.

 ;D

A rule of thumb which has always served me well here is that if I need to scroll down to read it, it's not worth reading.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 09 May 2021, 06:32:28 pm
"I desire f you can be horny & wild when we are in our hotel room together"

OMG  I just bawled at that one!  What do they think we do... just flip a switch!?    Unbelievable!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 09 May 2021, 07:43:52 pm
Quote from: amy on 09 May 2021, 05:49:28 pm
;D

A rule of thumb which has always served me well here is that if I need to scroll down to read it, it's not worth reading.

To be fair, I knew just from the message title it was going to be non-starter, but even I was unprepared for this!


Quote from: fallen angel on 09 May 2021, 06:32:28 pm
"I desire f you can be horny & wild when we are in our hotel room together"

OMG  I just bawled at that one!  What do they think we do... just flip a switch!?    Unbelievable!

Haha. Yes!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 09 May 2021, 09:01:40 pm
Quote from: Rosie13 on 05 May 2021, 01:55:13 pm
“I understand you are a submissive, so I wonder if you might be looking for a master to educate you?

I get variations of this too. They never respond when I reply saying my partner is also my dominant and while he is happy for you to pay to fuck me, he isn't happy to share me otherwise.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 09 May 2021, 10:59:18 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 09 May 2021, 09:01:40 pm
I get variations of this too. They never respond when I reply saying my partner is also my dominant and while he is happy for you to pay to fuck me, he isn't happy to share me otherwise.  ;D

I was pretty blunt about it and told him straight off the bat it was a no because inevitably he’d offer to pay the first session or two then expect me to sub for free and that’s never going to happen - he didn’t even argue with me about it and said he’d got the message loud and clear. Fucking chancer 😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 12 May 2021, 08:39:14 am
Him: hi how much 1hour? Are you in Sheffield?

Me: £140 and I'm in xxxx Town outside of Sheffield

Him: thanks. Expensive. And far away

Me: Jog on then. Also get some common sense and read the advert first

Him: Sorry I didn't check location first. Was a mistake.


Twat
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 12 May 2021, 11:30:02 am
Got an email from another provider yesterday, simply stating 'duo?'

What's with the one word shorthand, I get so many messages from wannabe clients with this constipated communication style, please say it's not catching on with sex workers too.
It's baffling to me, I thought it was just a sign of disrespect from punters ( screening themselves out). But is it just how we communicate now and I'm too old to catch on 😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 12 May 2021, 04:00:33 pm
SW that is weird and off putting especially on first communication. Is it a real sex worker or just a client wrote the profile i wonder.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 12 May 2021, 07:08:07 pm
It was on AW, the profile and feedback looked genuine. Each to their own I guess 🤷
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 13 May 2021, 01:16:47 am
Quote from: SW on 12 May 2021, 11:30:02 am
Got an email from another provider yesterday, simply stating 'duo?'

What's with the one word shorthand, I get so many messages from wannabe clients with this constipated communication style, please say it's not catching on with sex workers too.
It's baffling to me, I thought it was just a sign of disrespect from punters ( screening themselves out). But is it just how we communicate now and I'm too old to catch on 😂

Here’s how you handle that:

“Rude?”

Annnnd .... done.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 13 May 2021, 01:25:13 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 14 May 2021, 09:15:21 am
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 13 May 2021, 01:16:47 am
Here’s how you handle that:

“Rude?”

Annnnd .... done.

Haha yes should have done, the ignore and delete instinct for the verbally constipated just kicked in
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 14 May 2021, 12:53:24 pm
From someone that joined yesterday.

Subject: Hey
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hey gorgeous
How do you feel about having your hands tied behind your back and being blindfolded and giving me the best bj of my life x


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 14 May 2021, 07:55:32 pm
Had a couple of worthy ones just today, amazing the green twat light just attracts them like moths..

1.
Hi I'm Artur, 25 years old from UK, Milton Keynes. I found you lovely and I wanted to ask if you would be interested in serious relationship and maybe more. If you have any queastions then just ask. Im serious about this.

So if you're from the UK what's with the lack of prepositions and the dodgy spelling?!

2.
Hi   babe

Just that, beautiful in it's simplicity one might say?

3.
Him: Hay hope your ok? I'm local tomorrow and wondering if your taking bookings thanks *annoying pray emoji* sorry it's late
Me: Silence
Him: If your free
Me: Silence
Him: I'm
Available all day if your free
Me: Not working today thanks
Him: Hay good morning! Are you taking bookings today please ? Thanks *annoying pray emoji*
Him: Just a cuddle would be great
Me: Possibly later, my fee is the same whatever the activity
Him: *annoying LOL emojis* can I book for next week please
Me: You may, contact me next week perhaps?
Him: Great *thumbs up emoji*

I won't even get started on the *your* and *you're* annoyance

3. At 12.55am
Him: My Name you up for some fun x *with accompanying photo of someone at the gym*
Me: (at 2.55pm) Not at 1am no, I sleep like normal people
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 15 May 2021, 09:32:47 am
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 14 May 2021, 07:55:32 pm
Had a couple of worthy ones just today, amazing the green twat light just attracts them like moths..

1.
Hi I'm Artur, 25 years old from UK, Milton Keynes. I found you lovely and I wanted to ask if you would be interested in serious relationship and maybe more. If you have any queastions then just ask. Im serious about this.

So if you're from the UK what's with the lack of prepositions and the dodgy spelling?!

2.
Hi   babe

Just that, beautiful in it's simplicity one might say?

3.
Him: Hay hope your ok? I'm local tomorrow and wondering if your taking bookings thanks *annoying pray emoji* sorry it's late
Me: Silence
Him: If your free
Me: Silence
Him: I'm
Available all day if your free
Me: Not working today thanks
Him: Hay good morning! Are you taking bookings today please ? Thanks *annoying pray emoji*
Him: Just a cuddle would be great
Me: Possibly later, my fee is the same whatever the activity
Him: *annoying LOL emojis* can I book for next week please
Me: You may, contact me next week perhaps?
Him: Great *thumbs up emoji*

I won't even get started on the *your* and *you're* annoyance

3. At 12.55am
Him: My Name you up for some fun x *with accompanying photo of someone at the gym*
Me: (at 2.55pm) Not at 1am no, I sleep like normal people

Lol at 1 and 2   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SquirtyQueen on 15 May 2021, 12:03:56 pm
"Show me your tits and if I like them I'll transfer you the money now"
I replied with a pic of a pair of blue tits, then blocked haha  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 15 May 2021, 02:20:43 pm
Got this amazing specimen of a man texting me every other day without fail for weeks now

"Who free Plymouth?"

I don't know why I dont block him but it makes me hoot everytime, I've never responded the poor fool.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 15 May 2021, 03:08:18 pm
Quote from: SquirtyQueen on 15 May 2021, 12:03:56 pm
"Show me your tits and if I like them I'll transfer you the money now"
I replied with a pic of a pair of blue tits, then blocked haha  ;D
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ssfox on 15 May 2021, 07:29:32 pm
Had a rather posh chap ask for a quickie, I am new and not ready for that, so I said no. His response...
“It’s good money for quarter of an hour. I walk in you get on your knees. I’ll unzip, dump a load in the back of your throat and leave.” Wish I had a scathing witty retort but I just scoffed and ended the call. What a gent!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 16 May 2021, 12:07:18 am
Quote from: ssfox on 15 May 2021, 07:29:32 pm
Had a rather posh chap ask for a quickie, I am new and not ready for that, so I said no. His response...
“It’s good money for quarter of an hour. I walk in you get on your knees. I’ll unzip, dump a load in the back of your throat and leave.” Wish I had a scathing witty retort but I just scoffed and ended the call. What a gent!

I do understand it's not your thing and he should have approached someone who advertises them. Not try to persuade you. But I giggled when I read this because I really like these quicky bj's and could do them all day, every day two at a time.  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 16 May 2021, 12:35:24 am
Quote from: saltysweet on 16 May 2021, 12:07:18 am
I do understand it's not your thing and he should have approached someone who advertises them. Not try to persuade you. But I giggled when I read this because I really like these quicky bj's and could do them all day, every day two at a time.  :)

I do agree, but even if I offered 15 minute bookings I wouldn't see anyone who thought this was an appropriate opening gambit when contacting a total stranger, regardless of how long they wanted to book. It's fucking repulsive  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 16 May 2021, 11:36:30 am
I had an oik call late last week. He was speaking quietly and I had to keep asking him to speak up as I couldn't hear him. His excuse was he was calling from home and his wife was in. He wanted an outcall in the morning in the next town after the weekend on Monday. At this point it was obvious he was trying something on or hadn't read my profile or both. Then he wanted a threesome and wanted me to arrange it. So he wants an off profile service when he's not my target market and wants me to do all the work on my time and possibly annoying or setting up another escort for a dud call? So I pressure him for a certain day and time and he changes his mind to the tomorrow morning. Hmmm... Then he opportunistically asks about a social. A social? I'm thinking he's angling for a freebie so I say this is the same rate as normal. Again, I'm getting the dumb act off him and start again with footdragging and indicating this is difficult and not working. He puts the phone down and while I'm busy blocking him he messages a really nasty message disparaging me. Nothing wrong with my verification process I thought!

The other enquiry which stood out this week was one man messaging to ask if I was available that day. Oh, here we go... Then he wants to know if I would be happy having sex with his wife. Okay, possible. Then he starts asking about personal physical details already mentioned in my profile. I'm, like, this guy is getting his jollies off. I ask him to call and he says he will call after work. Yeah, right. He never did call. As things turned out another escort I was chatting with on social media said she got a call from a woman on the same day. I'm wondering if this was a coincidence or the same pair. I do get serious enquiries from couples sometimes but find them too much emotional bother to deal with. Most of the rest strike me as men jacking off from the tought or narcissists.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 16 May 2021, 12:34:29 pm
Quote from: amy on 16 May 2021, 12:35:24 am
I do agree, but even if I offered 15 minute bookings I wouldn't see anyone who thought this was an appropriate opening gambit when contacting a total stranger, regardless of how long they wanted to book. It's fucking repulsive  :-X

Oh yes I totally agree Amy I'd not accept an approach like that too. I'd expect respectful, formal, polite, verbals to consider any booking. How he said it was, crude, inappropriate and I'd be pissed off and shocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 16 May 2021, 05:37:11 pm
This one is my bad but I couldn't resist a play..

He rang, a usual immediate block as I only accept text...

Him: R u working now
Me: You get charged by the word? No, I'm at my mums and I require at least an hour's notice
Him: Oh ok lol what time usually you prefer and where r u based??
Me: What time do I prefer? It's your booking love. All info is on my profile
Him: Actually I wanted come down now is there any chance for today Or tomorrow
Me: Well which is it? I'm clearly not home so tomorrow. What time?
Him: Let me think and get back to you to confirm will you be able to share first line of postcode?? So I can check how far I am
Me: NOPE. My location is on the WHEN and Where tab
Him: silence

So anyone know what the first list of a post code is? LMAO maybe he meant first line of your address? Dumbass
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 16 May 2021, 06:55:27 pm
Jesus, literally this just in...

Him: Sorry not being rude but not sure what is your profile name so please advise and let me know if you are taking appointment today by that time I will check the profile
Me: Silence
Him: So let me know if we can meet up today
Me: Silence

Seriously, your opening gambit is no idea who you are so can you advise? I'd advise you piss off and read some profiles before wasting a bitch's time :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ms_Mila on 16 May 2021, 07:21:27 pm
That is a very derogatory way to speak to a sex worker, I can’t stand these men that think it’s ok to speak to us like that because we offer sexual services. I had one today demanding that I see him because, in his words, I sell my pussy so that’s easy access  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 17 May 2021, 01:10:56 pm
Just had 2 phone requests for direct chat. They clearly arnt capable of reading the 2 lines that say what I dont offer.
But then there are many members with brain parts missing !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Harriet_Lille on 20 May 2021, 01:12:44 pm
Still getting messages about the pregnancy fantasy.
People asking if they can pay me £15k to get me pregnant, and that they'd be on hand to support me.
I call bullshit to the latter of those, and as for the former, I doubt they have that sort of money. And I can't imagine me deciding randomly to let a random client get me pregnant in that fashion.

I swear I get two messages like that a month. At least.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Harriet_Lille on 20 May 2021, 01:23:51 pm
"If I booked you for a weekend would you come jogging with me? "

I can't remember when I last went jogging. Maybe 5 years ago?
Doesn't sound like the most exillerating of appointments.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ms_Mila on 20 May 2021, 08:38:11 pm
One of the last conversations I had with a client was ..

Him: can I book next weekend? I want you to make sure you have bathed and taken a break so you are relaxed when I get there, I want to take my time to have my fun with you for a 2 hour duration. Iv got a lot of stamina so I want you prepared for the time I’m there and to fulfil the time with pleasure.

Me: I am an escort not a sex doll, I provide services of a sexual nature but that doesn’t give you the right to lay the law of how I work or prepare before an appointment. I have found your message extremely off putting so I will be declining this appointment.

Where the hell do these men get off speaking to us like this? Did he expect me to be dripping with excitement?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PinkestChick on 21 May 2021, 12:34:13 pm
Quote from: Ms_Mila on 20 May 2021, 08:38:11 pm

Him: can I book next weekend? I want you to make sure you have bathed and taken a break so you are relaxed when I get there, I want to take my time to have my fun with you for a 2 hour duration. Iv got a lot of stamina so I want you prepared for the time I’m there and to fulfil the time with pleasure.

Honestly this is so gross! When I first started I would've gone for this because I hate it when clients don't know what they want and expect me to be a mind reader. But as I get more experienced I've started realising how much of a power play this is and how gross this behaviour actually is. I can't help but be a little harsh and sharp with them now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 22 May 2021, 12:40:22 am
I'll be hanging on for this one, uhm not..

Him: Hello there beautiful I'm a 27 year old male considering booking you for an hour. Where abouts in Portsmouth are you based?
Me: Not in Portsmouth. Read my profile. My approximate location is on the When and Where tab
Him: Okay. I'll contact you in the future when I have a car again
Me:  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MayJ10 on 22 May 2021, 09:51:59 am
Quote from: SW on 15 May 2021, 02:20:43 pm
Got this amazing specimen of a man texting me every other day without fail for weeks now

"Who free Plymouth?"

I don't know why I dont block him but it makes me hoot everytime, I've never responded the poor fool.

SAME! Hahaha this guy always messages me that exact same message. Clearly just group texts a load of girls. Idiot  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 23 May 2021, 06:01:59 pm
I had one of of those dreaded "Hi" messages. Out of sheer boredom and not being very busy I replied. Oh here we go. He wanted a video chat. Er, call to discuss this. Then he is at home with his mates and can't talk too much... Then he says he wanted to book a video call and pay by cashapp. For security reasons I would only use Skype and don't have whattsapp or anything like that installed. He didn't reply to my saying Skype and I only have Kofi account at the moment. Was he genuine and just wanting a quick wank or a scammer or something more iffy? Ok, back to ignoring/blocking those "Hi" messages again.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 24 May 2021, 03:00:24 pm
email last night
Can I spunk right up there?
To which I responded
Please do message me your mobile so I can identify you for your booking
To which he replied
Can you i do it in your pussy
I'm still awaiting lol
I just want to block these idiots numbers!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 24 May 2021, 03:06:00 pm
Quote from: Kiss on 24 May 2021, 03:00:24 pm
email last night
Can I spunk right up there?
To which I responded
Please do message me your mobile so I can identify you for your booking
To which he replied
Can you i do it in your pussy
I'm still awaiting lol
I just want to block these idiots numbers!!

I’d suggest using a more subtle way to get their numbers x
For example just asking for them to text or call to arrange bookings - might just be me but I’d think saying things like “so I can identify you” might put off the plebs haha 😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 24 May 2021, 05:21:47 pm
The thing is I dont want them texting me I want calls so I can hear them  but when I'm actually working not 5 days b4.. they will just wank and waste my time you know what they are like 🤣
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 25 May 2021, 01:35:25 am
Quote from: Kiss on 24 May 2021, 05:21:47 pm
The thing is I dont want them texting me I want calls so I can hear them  but when I'm actually working not 5 days b4.. they will just wank and waste my time you know what they are like 🤣

Then just email them "please send me your phone number so I can call you" - and they usually will!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 26 May 2021, 01:30:50 am
 :FF : :FF :FF

There are some utter mingers out there at the minute... Do they really think those amazing attempts at conversation will get them in line for a booking?
My bits have literally dried up and shrivelled reading the last two pages and it will be a fucking cold day in hell before I ever get desperate enough to shag  some of those morons.

Its no wonder I have 3500 plus blocked numbers in my phone hahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 26 May 2021, 01:18:00 pm
HIM: Postcode please.
ME: Sorry, sold out...
HIM: I want 1 h
ME: Here you are then: 1 h
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 26 May 2021, 02:10:16 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 26 May 2021, 01:18:00 pm
HIM: Postcode please.
ME: Sorry, sold out...
HIM: I want 1 h
ME: Here you are then: 1 h
;D

Haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 26 May 2021, 03:25:36 pm
Absolutely the best answer to these clowns ! :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 28 May 2021, 09:01:29 pm
Todays many calls it seems there is a pattern.

Me: Hello
Dick Head: Can you send me your postcode
Me: NO
Dick Head: Oh ok I call you back :FF

I immediately block and save as c.u.n.t
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 28 May 2021, 09:28:01 pm
Got this email today
Hey, I love your curves and I'm looking to make my fantasy happen so wanted to see if you're up for it. I'm not looking for full sex: I mostly just want to grope your body and suck on your breasts! I need it to be discreet, so I was thinking maybe you could be naked and blindfolded on the bed when I arrive, then I'd touch and tease your body with my hands and mouth. And I like the idea of maybe spanking those tasty big boobs of yours, if you like a little kink, too. I'm tall and slim, fit and healthy, and will respect all limits. I'll just come and play with your body then leave when we've had our fun. I've done this before, as you can see from my feedback. I could put the money down on the bed or post it through the letterbox first or something, whatever you think best. x
I'm giving it a miss !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 28 May 2021, 11:17:30 pm
Quote from: Kiss on 28 May 2021, 09:28:01 pm
Got this email today
Hey, I love your curves and I'm looking to make my fantasy happen so wanted to see if you're up for it. I'm not looking for full sex: I mostly just want to grope your body and suck on your breasts! I need it to be discreet, so I was thinking maybe you could be naked and blindfolded on the bed when I arrive, then I'd touch and tease your body with my hands and mouth. And I like the idea of maybe spanking those tasty big boobs of yours, if you like a little kink, too. I'm tall and slim, fit and healthy, and will respect all limits. I'll just come and play with your body then leave when we've had our fun. I've done this before, as you can see from my feedback. I could put the money down on the bed or post it through the letterbox first or something, whatever you think best. x
I'm giving it a miss !


Dear X ~

That sounds super hot & is already making me wet! Of course you’ll have no objection to my security driver being in the room the entire time, since I’ll be tied down & helpless? You can give him the $$. Looking forward to it!!♥️

These FUCKWADS😡.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 29 May 2021, 01:44:56 am
Quote from: Kiss on 28 May 2021, 09:28:01 pm
Got this email today
Hey, I love your curves and I'm looking to make my fantasy happen so wanted to see if you're up for it. I'm not looking for full sex: I mostly just want to grope your body and suck on your breasts! I need it to be discreet, so I was thinking maybe you could be naked and blindfolded on the bed when I arrive, then I'd touch and tease your body with my hands and mouth. And I like the idea of maybe spanking those tasty big boobs of yours, if you like a little kink, too. I'm tall and slim, fit and healthy, and will respect all limits. I'll just come and play with your body then leave when we've had our fun. I've done this before, as you can see from my feedback. I could put the money down on the bed or post it through the letterbox first or something, whatever you think best. x
I'm giving it a miss !

He messaged me as well. I pointed out there was no way, living where I do, that I could leave the door unlocked for anyone to walk in, and more to the point, no way would I be blindfolded and naked for a complete stranger. He pushed back 2-3 times. Absolutely no consideration for our safety.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 29 May 2021, 07:12:29 am
He is living in his deluded head not the real world where escorts are smart enough not to book him despite his fake feedback!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 29 May 2021, 08:35:11 pm
This is quite possibly, the best one I've ever received and if there was an award, he'd win it..

00.48am

Him: Hey
Him: X
Him: Bang X
Him: X X
Him: Ppw
Him: Pow
Me: Twat, you're blocked
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 29 May 2021, 08:49:55 pm
And this absolute genius who called me at 4am..

Me (at 7.33am): Seriously calling at 4am? You're blocked
Him: Starts calling me again
Me: Stop calling me!
Him: Lol
Him: Hi are you available today and fingers crossed youe profile name snow I have plenty of snow on me
Me: My name refers to a Japanese anime character by Kazuo Koike and Kazuo Kamimura, the film recounts the tale of Yuki (Kaji), a woman who seeks vengeance upon three of the people who raped her mother and killed her father and brother. You have been warned :)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 30 May 2021, 04:36:45 pm
Quote from: Kiss on 29 May 2021, 07:12:29 am
He is living in his deluded head not the real world where escorts are smart enough not to book him despite his fake feedback!

I remember that exact scenario being proposed by some internet dude long before doing this job.  I thought he had lost his damn mind if he thought I was going to do that. Wonder if it is the same person or whether this kink is even more common than I had thought.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ssfox on 31 May 2021, 07:28:53 pm
I’m new to this but not wet behind the ears!!!
Him: I’m not an agent but I can get you a lot of work
Me: (humouring him) oh really?
Him: (long lying preamble) so if you look after me every week I shall find you a few nice clients.
Me: oh really have you a bridge to sell me after a long weight.
Him: No really I’m a great lover and I’ll look after you.
Me: I wouldn’t even let you sniff me for all the tea in China. GOOD DAY

I’m not a snob at all but god that annoyed me. I hate to put people down but he was such a chump.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 03 June 2021, 08:06:14 am
Morning email
 Bare back hun ?
  Reply No blocked hun!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 03 June 2021, 01:52:19 pm
Quote from: Kiss on 03 June 2021, 08:06:14 am
Morning email
 Bare back hun ?
  Reply No blocked hun!

 ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Saffy on 03 June 2021, 10:10:27 pm
Clown of the day by text - "You probably not use to someone of my caliber".

Me  -  "No I see a many of your caliber I just don't see your type which is clearly stated in my short and clear profile!".
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 04 June 2021, 12:23:15 am
Quote from: Saffy on 03 June 2021, 10:10:27 pm
caliber

You don't see Americans?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 04 June 2021, 05:54:37 am
Quote from: amy on 04 June 2021, 12:23:15 am
You don't see Americans?

Or low alcohol beer.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Harriet_Lille on 04 June 2021, 12:29:10 pm
Client: "Do you do taboo role play?"
Me: "What sort?"
Client: "father dusghter."
Me: " no absolutely not."
Client: "I will pay extra."
Me: "I won't do it under any circumstances.

Client then sends four mlur messages about it before I block. Him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 04 June 2021, 02:00:03 pm
Text convo

Him - Hi either next Tues or weds. I have to be in London. Would it be possible for me to wank and cum on your breasts in in half an hour appt. I am 55 and totally love this  XX

Me - Refer to booking instructions

Him - Go fuck yourself twat.

That escalated quick ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Harriet_Lille on 04 June 2021, 02:03:10 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 04 June 2021, 02:00:03 pm
Text convo

Him - Hi either next Tues or weds. I have to be in London. Would it be possible for me to wank and cum on your breasts in in half an hour appt. I am 55 and totally love this  XX

Me - Refer to booking instructions

Him - Go fuck yourself twat.

That escalated quick ;D

Wow.
What a sad pathetic angry little man.
All because he was too lazy to book the proper way
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 04 June 2021, 02:14:39 pm
Yayy!  :)

Anger issues? I kinda like it when they de-select themselves like that, it saves me dealing with them.
But I also giggled at the 'polite to psycho' in 2 seconds flat.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 05 June 2021, 09:13:25 pm
I had this absolute peach yeserday, I wonder how he talks to the other women in his life? Poor bitches..

Him: You free my babe ime phil 53
Me: I think you're missing some punctuation there?
Him: Pardon love forgive me I'm only a bricky x you in portsmouth
Me: Lol nope I'm not x
Him: Whot you r or your not x
Me: If you read my About Me and When and Where tab you'll have all the answers to your questions
Him: Fuck me you smart arse
Him: Fuck do one

As another poster above said, that escalated quickly lmao  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 05 June 2021, 10:16:32 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 05 June 2021, 09:13:25 pm
I had this absolute peach yeserday, I wonder how he talks to the other women in his life? Poor bitches..

Him: You free my babe ime phil 53
Me: I think you're missing some punctuation there?
Him: Pardon love forgive me I'm only a bricky x you in portsmouth
Me: Lol nope I'm not x
Him: Whot you r or your not x
Me: If you read my About Me and When and Where tab you'll have all the answers to your questions
Him: Fuck me you smart arse
Him: Fuck do one

As another poster above said, that escalated quickly lmao  ;D
Ha ha .. mr charisma  !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Harriet_Lille on 06 June 2021, 06:58:41 am
Quote from: saltysweet on 04 June 2021, 02:14:39 pm
Yayy!  :)

Anger issues? I kinda like it when they de-select themselves like that, it saves me dealing with them.
But I also giggled at the 'polite to psycho' in 2 seconds flat.

At least that lot weed themselves out so we dont have to.
The next group are those who book the proper way but still ask questions that are answered on my profile.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 06 June 2021, 11:42:32 am
"Bare back hun"

Reply "Learn to read hun"

Blocked forever........
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 06 June 2021, 12:23:08 pm
Quote from: Nadya on 06 June 2021, 11:42:32 am
"Bare back hun"

Reply "Learn to read hun"

Blocked forever........
I want to wind one of these clowns up.
Ie give them the postcode of the local pizza takeaway location
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 06 June 2021, 12:47:44 pm
Quote from: Kiss on 06 June 2021, 12:23:08 pm
I want to wind one of these clowns up.
Ie give them the postcode of the local pizza takeaway location

I'm outcall but yeah, I mean, that must be a wind up merchant because I cannot imagine anyone being so insanely stupid that they think I would respond to that.  No introduction, no nothing and also clearly hadn't bothered to read the profile at all.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 06 June 2021, 01:37:16 pm
Insanely stupid you got it right there.
Because that's what they are.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 06 June 2021, 03:28:44 pm
Subject: Want to meet
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi! I'm from *** area. I was wondering where about in **** you live because I don't drive so have to be close!  Also I won't be able to resist for long because it will be my first time!!  Could you plz tell me where about in ***** are you!!&#128578;
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Harriet_Lille on 06 June 2021, 05:35:23 pm
"Hey babes, this is (name)  I saw you last week. Are you free now? I'm outside your building."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 06 June 2021, 06:15:44 pm
Thread tidied, with apologies to posters whose contributions were necessarily removed in the process. Let's remember that enough people already think sex workers are bigoted, rude and as thick as mince without us proving it to them here.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 06 June 2021, 08:27:14 pm
I got this text today
?
 Theres nothing really to say to that is there !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jadine on 06 June 2021, 08:58:08 pm
Lol
That would really piss me off
I did someone once years back who was a little tosser , disrespectful ect made a note never see him again , I was with a punter once  and the door went I thought wtf was it , opened it and it was only the tosspot he had pressed everyone’s buzzer on the flats to get in , had a right go with him said he wasnt seeing me then or any other day .
Why they think it acceptable to turn up like that ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 07 June 2021, 04:36:06 pm
Me - What would you like? :)
Axe murderer - I want ALL of you  :P
Me - Well, you sound a bit creepy maybe not  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 07 June 2021, 08:18:12 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 07 June 2021, 04:36:06 pm
Me - What would you like? :)
Axe murderer - I want ALL of you  :P
...
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 07 June 2021, 09:22:31 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 08 June 2021, 12:10:08 am
Okay so I usually just ignore and block these clowns but I'm so sick of getting asked stuff they would already know about if they read anything, so I amused myself. I don't expect to hear back!


Hi  baby will u do bb I'm clean and willing to pay a lot more. Look forward 2 hearing back xxx

Hello!
Thank you so much for taking five minutes to read my profile. (He obviously didn't, or he would have found the answer.)

You surely understand I can't just trust a complete stranger's word and would need to be sure that you are clean, so if I were to accept your offer, I would obviously be unable to work for a minimum of 3 weeks as I would need to get tested and then wait for the results so I don't put anyone at risk.  There is the chance you pass something to me and depending on what, would mean a further unknown length of time where I would be unable to work while I waited for the medication to cure the disease. £10,000 should cover these initial weeks.

Then, of course, there's the chance you pass on something that is not treatable, only manageable. If that were the case, I would never be able to work again. The average yearly cost of living is £20,000 so I would need a minimum of £1,340,000 since I plan to live until I am at least 100. Of course, I am also accustomed to having savings and being able to go on holiday, afford luxuries etc so I would need an additional £1,000,000 to cover those expenses.

Finally, I would have to inform my partner of our agreement who would without a doubt end our relationship as I would selfishly be putting his health at risk as well. We would both be understandably upset and so we would need to be compensated for the emotional trauma we would subsequently suffer through. £5,000,000 (each) should cover it.

Due to how high the health risk is, I will need the full amount of £12,350,000 upfront before any sexual activity takes place. I'm sure you understand. I look forward to hearing from you. xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 08 June 2021, 07:44:03 am
Brilliant 😘
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 08 June 2021, 02:46:45 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 08 June 2021, 12:10:08 am
Okay so I usually just ignore and block these clowns but I'm so sick of getting asked stuff they would already know about if they read anything, so I amused myself. I don't expect to hear back!

[giant quote redacted]

I liked this hhahahah enjoyed reading it too. Good one
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 08 June 2021, 06:12:17 pm
Just received this. Can we all ask Santa to ask our potential clients to read our bloody profiles before contacting us!

Via AW:
Hey you ok big alpha male here lol was just wondering when your next free would love to make a booking, I'm at white British male 33 y/o 6ft stocky muscular build dark features and beard, love taking control and dishing out a hard pounding hope this helps lol hope to hear from you soon xx

Me:
Sorry, I offer a vanilla GFE which unfortunately doesn't feature me getting a hard pounding at any stage. Thanks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 08 June 2021, 07:48:15 pm
Quote from: Dynamite Doll on 08 June 2021, 02:46:45 pm
I liked this hhahahah enjoyed reading it too. Good one

I've saved it so I can paste it to every clown that asks me.  ;D


Quote from: Snow Whitest on 08 June 2021, 06:12:17 pm


Via AW:
Hey you ok big alpha male here lol was just wondering when your next free would love to make a booking, I'm at white British male 33 y/o 6ft stocky muscular build dark features and beard, love taking control and dishing out a hard pounding hope this helps lol hope to hear from you soon xx


I offer sub/pse, so I'd be okay (and actually enjoy) the 'hard pounding.' It's the description (I couldn't give a flying fuck what you look like!) and 'lol' that screens him out for me. Mostly the 'lol.' Why is stating what you want funny? Why send me text speak? Shoo!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 09 June 2021, 06:05:58 am
Just the thought of a hard pounding ...oouch.. :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 09 June 2021, 06:08:58 am
Yeah I too hate the term “hard pounding” and it’s exactly what it says it is, and I don’t know why some men like to say this...when I hear this saying then I always think I’m going to be shagged so hard+rough and it will be very unenjoyable for me and all good for him, such is the way in our job sometimes...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 09 June 2021, 10:24:00 am
It's the "I'm an alpha male" introduction that creases me up. It's pretty safe to say anyone who feels the need to introduce themselves as an alpha is Most Definitely Not an Alpha male  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 09 June 2021, 02:53:11 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 08 June 2021, 12:10:08 am
Okay so I usually just ignore and block these clowns but I'm so sick of getting asked stuff they would already know about if they read anything, so I amused myself. I don't expect to hear back!


Hi  baby will u do bb I'm clean and willing to pay a lot more. Look forward 2 hearing back xxx

Hello!
Thank you so much for taking five minutes to read my profile. (He obviously didn't, or he would have found the answer.)

Hannaah Hannaah Hannaah!!! Did HE ANSWER???? *agog*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MayJ10 on 09 June 2021, 06:54:35 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 08 June 2021, 12:10:08 am
Okay so I usually just ignore and block these clowns but I'm so sick of getting asked stuff they would already know about if they read anything, so I amused myself. I don't expect to hear back!


Hi  baby will u do bb I'm clean and willing to pay a lot more. Look forward 2 hearing back xxx

Hello!
Thank you so much for taking five minutes to read my profile. (He obviously didn't, or he would have found the answer.) [...]


This is fucking genius XD


[giant unecessary quote redacted]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 10 June 2021, 08:25:46 pm
The weird thing about Mr Alpha Male, is that he sent another girl in the same town a message the complete polar opposite to the one I received. Clearly I must have "I need a hard pounding" written on my face somewhere? I hate lol bloody this and lol bloody that. It usually means, in my experience, that they're not entirely comfortable with with they've written so try to lighten up up as if it's a joke? If you're not comfortable with what you've written, don't bloody write it. Jesus wept
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 10 June 2021, 08:30:24 pm
This was the actual message as received (names changed) :

Date: 09/06/2021 22:31
To: Hot xxx Nancy View All
Subject: Re:Hey Nanc xx


Hiya Eve,

So, are you around tomorrow afternoon for a naughty meet Hun?
Would love to meet up
S
Xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LolaR95 on 11 June 2021, 08:14:46 am
Hello everybody 😊 new to posting but I hVe been reading from afar for a couple of years and thorougly enjoyed reading through all of you ladies' posts! Anyway, I woke up to a message this morning that simply said:

"How much up the bum".

Sounds brilliant.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 11 June 2021, 05:17:41 pm
Quote from: LolaR95 on 11 June 2021, 08:14:46 am
Hello everybody 😊 new to posting but I hVe been reading from afar for a couple of years and thorougly enjoyed reading through all of you ladies' posts! Anyway, I woke up to a message this morning that simply said:

"How much up the bum".

Sounds brilliant.
No reply to that really !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 11 June 2021, 08:42:05 pm
Nothing but idiots and timewasters today, waste of a fiver...

Him: Hi hun, are you free this afternoon at all as i'm coming from Southampton. Thanks
Me: Read my profile. Thanks
Him: Oh sorry just seen, thanks
Him: Thanks hun, are you free this afternoon, I can be free as soon as.
Him: I know you don't like requests but I do have a question is owo included in 30 minutes. Again sorry for the question.

He was blocked after first line. Do people not know the difference between a request and a question?!

At 2.05am
Him: Hi bby can we see eachother in the morning at 8
Me: Blocked

WTF is a bby?!

Him: Hi (blocked but I do love playing with these)
Me: Can I help you?
Him: Saw on adult work
Me: I guessed that genius
Him: Are you Gosport?
Me: What does it say on my When and Where tab?
Him: Silence

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 11 June 2021, 09:53:16 pm
I've only had two bookings today. The rest have also been nothing but time wasters with idiot questions.

Had one asking for details of rates and location so just told him he'd find those in the same place he got my number from. Silence after that  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 15 June 2021, 11:40:53 am
He rang and sounded like he was ordering a pizza. Abrupt, no pleasantries. I screened him the same as other unknown callers. He revealed he'd visited once two years ago, but only when I squeezed it out of him. Had he been open I wouldn't need to screen the shyt out of him. His approach was like a dry potato so I told him we were not compatible.

He put on his regency wig and velvet breeches, sharpened his quill pen and texted me this:-
 

I’m sorry you found me unfriendly on the phone.

First of all I will say that I’m an extremely friendly and polite person and in fact that’s probably my best quality. I’ve met you several times and we’ve always been cool.

I was in a public place hence why I was trying to keep my voice down and might have come across as nervous. Also I will say you need some work on your telephone manner, That’s not a criticism or me having a go at you. Just that you are very odd on the phone: most people just say sure what time would you like to come over etc.

Yours feels more like an interrogation from the word go and you always make me feel like I’m asking for something I shouldn’t. And you come over as someone who’s uncomfortable with people having your number and calling you.

So again I’m sorry I came across that way. In honesty yes, I’m having a bad day so that may have been reflected in my tone, which wasn’t the intention.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 15 June 2021, 12:10:09 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 15 June 2021, 11:40:53 am
He rang and sounded like he was ordering a pizza. Abrupt, no pleasantries...

He put on his regency wig and velvet breeches, sharpened his quill pen and texted me this...
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 15 June 2021, 12:41:35 pm
 ;D  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 15 June 2021, 02:13:00 pm
What they don't realise Salty is we have to be on our guard and all we have is our instincts to go on and if someone sounds unfriendly how do we know they will give us a hard time when we are alone and naked.

Yes plenty do say what time do you want, here is the address come along but for some of us if we dont like the sound of them or think they could be a problem for us we might ask more questions or just not book them in.

I never understand why some men call us and come across as unfriendly as they must know it won't put us at ease.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 15 June 2021, 03:13:32 pm
Totally agree there EnglishG. I also think that's they way he daydreams it should be.

I think he was also stuck in work mode which some  manage to snap out of when I crack a joke about it.

It was both a scolding from a 'superior being' and a cry for help. But I ain't got time for such emotional shananigans. I didn't reply.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 15 June 2021, 08:50:43 pm
New enquiry from someone with CE reports

Him: Can you text me details?

Me: For what?

Him: Me to visit you.

Me: Why did we arrange something?

Him: No but I want to

Me: Well I don't
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 16 June 2021, 08:24:24 am
Quote from: Maz on 15 June 2021, 08:50:43 pm
New enquiry from someone with CE reports

Him: Can you text me details?

Me: For what?

Him: Me to visit you.

Me: Why did we arrange something?

Him: No but I want to

Me: Well I don't
I get this kind of crap too often . Poor communication from somone clueless who has no idea how to read your profile and follow simple requests.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 16 June 2021, 03:24:06 pm
Why has the way people communicate just gone? Randoms texting "you Available text me your address" makes no sense to me but as so many do this all over the country no matter where you are there must be some women that respond and do text ping ping otherwise why would so many keep texting this way.

I think the days of proper polite communication had gone.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 16 June 2021, 03:32:22 pm
Getting absolutely zero genuine enquires this week. It’s so awful.
Just the same as some have said “send address” and “u av” and “hi u ok, u free”.
Then find out they haven’t read the profile and don’t even know which one I am sometimes.
It’s killing me!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 16 June 2021, 03:39:50 pm
Yep the amount of " hi you ok" texts are crazy. What do they mean and what is the point of them. Do you think they text to get a chat going all around the houses and back.

I think it's a lack of education and they forget that we charge money as a business.

Imagine texting a restaurant " hey you ok what you got"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 16 June 2021, 03:43:16 pm
Quote from: English Green on 16 June 2021, 03:39:50 pm
Imagine texting a restaurant " hey you ok what you got"

“in a state of emergency : messages police : hey, u available?”
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 16 June 2021, 03:47:24 pm
Oh yes if they could message police easily they would get all of that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Zandie on 16 June 2021, 07:02:47 pm
the most irritating for me is "Are you working today ?" sent as email on AW, with my green light available today on :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Rosie13 on 16 June 2021, 07:16:04 pm
“Hey Rosie babe, how’s u?”

“Asleep” (I wasn’t actually asleep)

“Aww how come?”

“Do I really need to explain to a stranger why I might be asleep past midnight?”

*tumbleweed*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 16 June 2021, 09:11:06 pm
I've had so many fuckwits and timewasters today I'm invoicing them for time spent on bloody administering them..

Him: Hi are you available at 10.30am
Me: Possibly, what your name and age?
Him: Paul 55
Me: I'm in Gosport I presume you already know that? (He was coming from Southampton)
Him: Yes
Me: Details of pay and display car park, entrance is here opposite this landmark. Here are words for what3words app. Text on arrival
Him: Seems a bit complex sorry I'll skip it
Me: Seriously, car park is off the main road?!

I give up. He's either an address collector or a massive tool. Or indeed both
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 16 June 2021, 09:41:54 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 16 June 2021, 09:11:06 pm

what3words app.


I wouldn't know what that was either! :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 16 June 2021, 09:44:44 pm
Quote from: Zandie on 16 June 2021, 07:02:47 pm
the most irritating for me is "Are you working today ?" sent as email on AW, with my green light available today on :FF
Every fucking time they just keep on doing it !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 16 June 2021, 09:45:48 pm
Quote from: EveEveEve on 16 June 2021, 03:43:16 pm
“in a state of emergency : messages police : hey, u available?”
U open
U free babe
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 16 June 2021, 11:35:22 pm
Quote from: English Green on 16 June 2021, 03:24:06 pm
Why has the way people communicate just gone? Randoms texting "you Available text me your address" makes no sense to me but as so many do this all over the country no matter where you are there must be some women that respond and do text ping ping otherwise why would so many keep texting this way.

I think the days of proper polite communication had gone.

This has been happening as far back as I can remember = 10 + years.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 16 June 2021, 11:42:38 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 16 June 2021, 09:41:54 pm
I wouldn't know what that was either! :)

It's a brilliant app to find any location. Essentially every 3 metre square of the world has been given a unique combination of three words. Used for e-commerce and delivery, navigation, emergencies and more. So the car park I use for clients has three specific words making it almost impossible to get lost. Granted that's assuming you actually read the instructions given  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 17 June 2021, 12:36:28 am
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 16 June 2021, 11:42:38 pm
It's a brilliant app to find any location. Essentially every 3 metre square of the world has been given a unique combination of three words. Used for e-commerce and delivery, navigation, emergencies and more. So the car park I use for clients has three specific words making it almost impossible to get lost. Granted that's assuming you actually read the instructions given  :FF

Blooming hell....it's the matrix!
I'm living in the stone ages  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Zandie on 17 June 2021, 11:45:11 am
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 16 June 2021, 11:42:38 pm
It's a brilliant app to find any location. Essentially every 3 metre square of the world has been given a unique combination of three words. Used for e-commerce and delivery, navigation, emergencies and more. So the car park I use for clients has three specific words making it almost impossible to get lost. Granted that's assuming you actually read the instructions given  :FF

Hmm interesting,  I'll give it a go .

 I tend not to give my address nowadays. Prefer to give them the postcode of the local supermarket,  then share my location on whassapp  when /if they turn up.....better still they share their location so Im able to monitor in real time as they get closer
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 18 June 2021, 03:14:45 pm
HIM: Hello.  Where are your incalls?
ME: At the bottom of my legs.  Where are your ankles, then, if not at the bottom of your legs??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 21 June 2021, 05:54:34 am
Had the most awful email suggestion of some jungle book fantasy role play involving snake coiling round my body I replied with no way .
Yuk hate snakes and the very mention of them. These things punters think up are very unappealing
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 24 June 2021, 10:03:14 am
Sent a confirmation text for an hours booking this morning. I might be a bit over sensitive this week due to stress with personal issues but his reply really put me off!

Me: “Hi, just confirming for our booking today? Thanks”

Him: “Great, see you soon! One request. Could we start with clothes on please? I like to unwrap my presents slowly 😊 Thanks”

Me: “I’m not a present. I’m a human being. I’m afraid I’m going to have to cancel. Sorry”

Fuck it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 24 June 2021, 07:20:02 pm
Him: Hi how are you?

Me: Fine, you?

Him: I'm good thanks, where are you based?

Me: I'm near Sheffield.
Me: Location is one of the first things you should check before contacting someone on the site.

Him: Thanks for the advise, have a good day.

Me: I will, thanks.


I know it's a common one but I just don't understand why they don't at least look at that before attempting to book an escort, unless they're just a TW. When I see other escorts with clients, the first thing I look up are their rates and location  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 24 June 2021, 07:50:08 pm
This tit who's been blocked pretty much since he first contacted me:

Him: Morning profile looks great ! Fancy some webcam fun like to do that first before I arrange meet on person see what's I'm getting xx
Me: Piss off

He's stored under "Exclamation twat" because he tends to write long messages about how super, smashing, amazing your profile is (clearly without having actually read it) with exclamation marks being the only punctuation he can actually use.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 24 June 2021, 07:53:01 pm
An email the sleaziest cringe ever along the lines of sending 10 kisses he wants to plant on each one of my toes 🤮
How can they think we even want to receive these kind of messages.?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 25 June 2021, 07:20:47 pm
I stopped being polite with this one as he was such a blame queen.

Idiot- You're hard to get hold of
(I decide at this point he won't be invited to my lady garden party)
Me- I didn't hear the phone
Idiot- That's not my problem
Me- It's not mine either...fuck off then you little prick
Idiot- Go on! :o :o :o use profanity! :o  :o  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 25 June 2021, 07:57:11 pm
Quote from: Kiss on 24 June 2021, 07:53:01 pm
An email the sleaziest cringe ever along the lines of sending 10 kisses he wants to plant on each one of my toes 🤮
How can they think we even want to receive these kind of messages.?

I was sent this approximately three hours after I joined AW. He sent it again earlier this year too. Rather comforting to know it's still doing the rounds  ;D

I must admit that it's messages such as these that means I no longer answer check my inbox on AW as I can't be bothered to read their drivel.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 26 June 2021, 01:09:52 pm
How much for a 10 min hand job ?
He put the phone down on me first!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Schwiftysquancher91 on 27 June 2021, 04:17:33 pm
Him-hey you ok
Him-£20?
Me-I am fully booked everyday but sure I'll take £20  ::) I literally found £20 on the floor the other day. Do better.
Him-U don't know what I was offering £20 for
Me-I wouldn't accept £20 for anything nowadays, Unless its a goodwill gesture
Him-So you wouldn't accept £20 to wash my car lol
Me-No, because I'm a bloody whore not a frigging car washer
Him - haha I'm only joking, how much is head and where are you based?

 ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 28 June 2021, 01:51:46 am
MAN WHOM I HAVE NEVER SPOKEN TO OR CORRESPONDED WITH, EVER: Hi sexy how are you, may I please see you today for a 15 min booking at some point for £30?xx *15 mins has always been £40 due to it being oral+cim only*
ME: No you may not.
MAN: Ok, thanks x


🙄🙄🙄 At least he was a polite chancer eh lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 28 June 2021, 01:36:52 pm
Quote from: TantricTease on 28 June 2021, 01:51:46 am
MAN WHOM I HAVE NEVER SPOKEN TO OR CORRESPONDED WITH, EVER: Hi sexy how are you, may I please see you today for a 15 min booking at some point for £30?xx *15 mins has always been £40 due to it being oral+cim only*
ME: No you may not.
MAN: Ok, thanks x


🙄🙄🙄 At least he was a polite chancer eh lol

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D hahahah this one made me snort my tea hahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 29 June 2021, 12:12:20 pm
Idiot Central this morning. Had two/three that I've hung up on asking basic stuff they could get off my advert and saying they'll give me a call back later.

Then one that kept me on the phone for 5 minutes waffling about how he's new to this and has a family etc etc. He said he'd phoned another escort and she became rude and impatient with him and by the time I ended his call I thought it's no wonder she got sick of him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 29 June 2021, 12:24:41 pm
My first look and go
Bloody idiot ..
How to waste an escorts time  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 29 June 2021, 04:27:14 pm
Via AW...

SUBJECT: knickers
MESSAGE: can you put a slice of bread between your ass and fart on it a few times then wipe your ass with it after farting and I will buy it

MY REPLY: This isn't a service I offer. Regards, C

HIS REPLY: but it is my fetish and I want too eat the bread


So I'm a random fetish dispenser now, am I? And what does his fetish have to do with "knickers" (as per his subject line)?

WAHHH ITS MY FETISH AND THE DIRTY LADY WONT DO IT WAHHHH
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 29 June 2021, 04:42:09 pm
This one, I mean really. Blocked at "bby"

Him: Hello bby
Me: Really?
Him: My AW username
Me: That's correct. May I help you?
Him: I  want some loving 30 mins
Me: I suggest you go elsewhere. Thanks
Him: Saw u adult works ???

I dunno why but adult works reminds me of the bubble works ride that used to be at Chessington!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 29 June 2021, 10:03:24 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 29 June 2021, 04:42:09 pm
This one, I mean really. Blocked at "bby"

Him: Hello bby
Me: Really?
Him: My AW username
Me: That's correct. May I help you?
Him: I  want some loving 30 mins
Me: I suggest you go elsewhere. Thanks
Him: Saw u adult works ???

I dunno why but adult works reminds me of the bubble works ride that used to be at Chessington!

Not sure why so many use the plural.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 01 July 2021, 08:20:06 pm
From: Jessiejay271290
Hi baby
Received:
Hi beautiful how are you today plse never forget this you are so beautiful and pretty and you deserve to be treated and pampered plse can you forward your mob number plse plus I would love to treat you to gifts or cash so you can treat yourself plse discretion is key for both of us plse so plse don't worry speak soon plse save my personel mob number plse so we can text plse I also do have whatapp on my phone plse thx you
🤮
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 02 July 2021, 05:03:15 pm
Quote from: Kiss on 01 July 2021, 08:20:06 pm
From: Jessiejay271290
Hi baby
Received:
Hi beautiful how are you today plse never forget this you are so beautiful and pretty and you deserve to be treated and pampered plse can you forward your mob number plse plus I would love to treat you to gifts or cash so you can treat yourself plse discretion is key for both of us plse so plse don't worry speak soon plse save my personel mob number plse so we can text plse I also do have whatapp on my phone plse thx you
🤮

Arrrgh!!!  Pedantic woman is having a meltdown right now!!!!!!    :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 02 July 2021, 06:53:55 pm
ME: Why are you contacting me from two numbers at the same time?  Because there is...safety in numbers??
HIM: Because I have a personal one and a work one.
ME: ...and you are an equal opportunities phone-user?

BLOCKED.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 03 July 2021, 10:52:53 am
Quote from: Braziliana on 02 July 2021, 06:53:55 pm
ME: Why are you contacting me from two numbers at the same time?  Because there is...safety in numbers??
HIM: Because I have a personal one and a work one.
ME: ...and you are an equal opportunities phone-user?

BLOCKED.

I posted a warning for one of these the other day. I ignored both phone numbers he used at first but then he booked via a third number! Bastard
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 04 July 2021, 06:43:14 pm
This tit who rings instead of texting

Me: Text only thanks
Him: Do you have any time today, where are you based
Me: It says on my profile where I'm based, on the When and WHERE tab
Him: To be honest I've text a few so which one are you please
Me: Fuck off
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 04 July 2021, 08:11:10 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 04 July 2021, 06:43:14 pm
This tit who rings instead of texting

Me: Text only thanks
Him: Do you have any time today, where are you based
Me: It says on my profile where I'm based, on the When and WHERE tab
Him: To be honest I've text a few so which one are you please
Me: Fuck off

I’ve said this before here but .....

It’s FINE if you’re shopping around. Really.

Just mayyyyybe don’t tell ME about it?🤷🏼‍♀️ Cos that’s going to get you blocked. Duh🙄.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 05 July 2021, 08:06:53 am
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 04 July 2021, 08:11:10 pm
I’ve said this before here but .....

It’s FINE if you’re shopping around. Really.

Just mayyyyybe don’t tell ME about it?🤷🏼‍♀️ Cos that’s going to get you blocked. Duh🙄.

I agree, it's fair enough re shopping around but if they don't know who I am, they can shove it. Same with those I call back that tell me they're sorted now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 05 July 2021, 07:49:49 pm
Got this  email this morning
Hey did you work in Heathrow before ?
Followed by are you real man ?
🤣
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sera_fin on 05 July 2021, 09:21:06 pm
This message:

Bonjour ********

Please read my feedback , I have done this many times and it is fun.

I am looking to set up.a 4 sum, in N15.


I like friendly but competitive erotic games. I have done 2, 3 somes and 4 sums with 2 teams. The aim is to produce a fair session so either side can win.

Stripping - each person has bra pants socks the idea is to strip the other(s) and get a dick or fanny

Foot fencing - you both sit facing with stockings. You have to touch the others fanny or balls with your toes.

Pegs - there are 3 small plastic boxes, one has a clothes peg. Boxes are hidden in socks and spread around the room . Naked and blindfolded you have to find the clothes peg and get it on the others nipple.

Cum - aim to get other to cum first, 69, finger, fuck
Ladies can use double headed dildo.

Your thoughts?

John
 

My thoughts are that I would honestly rather eat my own shit.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 05 July 2021, 09:39:42 pm
Quote from: sera_fin on 05 July 2021, 09:21:06 pm
This message:

Bonjour ********

Please read my feedback , I have done this many times and it is fun.

I am looking to set up.a 4 sum, in N15.


I like friendly but competitive erotic games. I have done 2, 3 somes and 4 sums with 2 teams. The aim is to produce a fair session so either side can win.

Stripping - each person has bra pants socks the idea is to strip the other(s) and get a dick or fanny

Foot fencing - you both sit facing with stockings. You have to touch the others fanny or balls with your toes.

Pegs - there are 3 small plastic boxes, one has a clothes peg. Boxes are hidden in socks and spread around the room . Naked and blindfolded you have to find the clothes peg and get it on the others nipple.

Cum - aim to get other to cum first, 69, finger, fuck
Ladies can use double headed dildo.

Your thoughts?

John
 

My thoughts are that I would honestly rather eat my own shit.

I swear, I am literally dead right now....that is hilarious.

Do people fall for this?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 06 July 2021, 11:20:06 am
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 04 July 2021, 08:11:10 pm
...It’s FINE if you’re shopping around. Really.

Just mayyyyybe don’t tell ME about it?🤷🏼‍♀️ Cos that’s going to get you blocked. Duh🙄.
+100!
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 07 July 2021, 08:06:00 pm
I'm feeling distinctly forgettable lmao. Had this via AW today:

Can't remember for seen you before have you change your name

I mean if you're really expecting me to remember, you haven't got a hope in hell. Unless you're hella awful or hella nice, by the time you've got to your car I sincerely doubt I could pick you out in a line up
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 09 July 2021, 02:45:37 am
Quote
'I would love you to play the role of my girlfriend/wife who just loves fucking huge black guys infront of me! Acting like my slut wife and telling the black guys to punch me as they fuck you :P ! '

I find if you scratch the surface a lot of straight clients have some saucy homoerotic BBC fantasy floating around one way or another. I never book by email which he's ignored and presume he's a tossbag so he gets trashed.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 09 July 2021, 04:41:13 am
Quote from: saltysweet on 09 July 2021, 02:45:37 am
I find if you scratch the surface a lot of straight clients have some saucy homoerotic BBC fantasy floating around one way or another. I never book by email which he's ignored and presume he's a tossbag so he gets trashed.

It’s just so, so common, but what absolutely kills me is when they seem to think I have these huge black guys just loitering around, waiting to be called upon ....?🤷🏼‍♀️ It all seems very Cleopatra, Queen 👑 of the Nile-ish😆. Guys in loincloths, ala Tarzan🤦🏼‍♀️; just so ridiculous. Then they’re incredulous & pissed off when you understandably can’t produce another human being at the snap of a finger🙄 ....yeesh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 09 July 2021, 01:13:15 pm
So true Celeste!
I'd pretend I had an impatient BBC waiting in the other room and they'd cum hard. ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Missizzy on 09 July 2021, 01:42:51 pm
I was surprised by the number of men who asked me what's it like to suck a cock when I started doing this
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 09 July 2021, 05:03:29 pm
Some lovely chaps this morning, just the sort to take home to mother, well if she's a man hating psycho..

This guys calls, sends text messages and Whatsapp mesages. I politely tell him to stop harrassing me and that he's blocked so then, this morning:

Him: An hour
Me: Stop contacting me. You're blocked. Forever. Stop harrassing me
Him: Ok slag!

And this one who thinks it's ok to call and text at 2am

Him: Hi hope ur ok ru available?
Me: At 2am? Don't be stupid, you're already blockec, stop filling up my spam box
Him: Fuk u

If you're going to insult me, at least SPELL THE WORDS OUT FULLY!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 09 July 2021, 05:23:14 pm
Him are you the lady from Mill Hill I used to visit ?
Me no you have me mixed up with somone else
Him no your Carol arnt you?
Me I'm not even anywhere near that area
Him call me I'll know it's you when I hear your voice.
Me bye  zzz

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sera_fin on 11 July 2021, 08:19:05 pm
Another request full of red flags one of which is that is was sent at 2am: the golden hour of the time wasting fantastist. And why all the  irrelevant details? ???

Hi my name is Jon my partners name is becky we will be down London next weekend we are staying in a hotel in Bromley I'm looking for someone to join me for a drink and maybe more for 2 hours it will just be me my partner is seeing her male friend we are very friendly and Easy to get on with. We are thinking about 8pm for a couple of hours maybe longer if you are interested let me know you can contact me through what's app on *********** Jon x

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 12 July 2021, 10:17:51 pm
Not quite a booking request but just had this gem.

Him: Good evening, I'm looking for a bbw I met a few years ago maybe more if I'm honest. She lived in X area went by the name Natalie. Random I know but do you know of anyone by that name?

Me: You do know that we dont all know each other? Like we aren't all getting together at the weekend to discuss clients.
I've been working since 2012 and I've never seen anyone else on adultwork in that area

Him: Ok, no problems it was a long shot but worth a shout. I'm certain she was called Natalie X. This was well before adult work days too. Lol nearly back in MSN days. I'll be sure to look you up next time I'm over that way

Wtf 😂

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 12 July 2021, 10:46:42 pm
Quote from: Caledonia on 12 July 2021, 10:17:51 pm
Not quite a booking request but just had this gem.

Him: Good evening, I'm looking for a bbw I met a few years ago maybe more if I'm honest. She lived in X area went by the name Natalie. Random I know but do you know of anyone by that name?

Me: You do know that we dont all know each other? Like we aren't all getting together at the weekend to discuss clients.
I've been working since 2012 and I've never seen anyone else on adultwork in that area

Him: Ok, no problems it was a long shot but worth a shout. I'm certain she was called Natalie X. This was well before adult work days too. Lol nearly back in MSN days. I'll be sure to look you up next time I'm over that way

Wtf 😂

What the actual??? That's bonkers. What WAS he thinking?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 12 July 2021, 10:51:56 pm
Quote from: Nadya on 12 July 2021, 10:46:42 pm
What the actual??? That's bonkers. What WAS he thinking?

Right like its annoying enough when they assume we all know each other but thinking I would randomly know someone he likely hasn't seen in at least 10 years is a whole other level of insanity
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 12 July 2021, 11:12:58 pm
Nothing more irritating being contacted by someone tries to trample my boundaries at the outset by asking for things I do not provide/do and who tries to override my booking procedure too.

I always tell them that if they want x, y and z, it is best to find an escort who lists these things rather than approach one who clearly states they do not do them.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 13 July 2021, 01:00:47 am
Quote from: Caledonia on 12 July 2021, 10:17:51 pm
Not quite a booking request but just had this gem.

Him: Good evening, I'm looking for a bbw I met a few years ago maybe more if I'm honest. She lived in X area went by the name Natalie. Random I know but do you know of anyone by that name?

Me: You do know that we dont all know each other? Like we aren't all getting together at the weekend to discuss clients.
I've been working since 2012 and I've never seen anyone else on adultwork in that area

Him: Ok, no problems it was a long shot but worth a shout. I'm certain she was called Natalie X. This was well before adult work days too. Lol nearly back in MSN days. I'll be sure to look you up next time I'm over that way

Wtf 😂

“I don’t know her, but on the weekly, country wide hooker phone call convention we have every Monday @ 9 am I can ask around & get back to you?”

I’ve said this to a few guys IRL when they’ve asked me about others & they've believed me. Guess that single raised Spock eyebrow wasn’t enough of a hint for them🤦🏼‍♀️.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 13 July 2021, 08:41:14 am
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 13 July 2021, 01:00:47 am
“I don’t know her, but on the weekly, country wide hooker phone call convention we have every Monday @ 9 am I can ask around & get back to you?”

I’ve said this to a few guys IRL when they’ve asked me about others & they've believed me. Guess that single raised Spock eyebrow wasn’t enough of a hint for them🤦🏼‍♀️.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 16 July 2021, 06:20:21 pm
This week's delights via AW messaging:

Him:
Morning morning I've just stopped by your profile which sounds good. May I ask are you single or attached? As I'd rather me someone single
Me:
Utterly ridiculous and block

Do we think he's checking that no one will miss me? Jesus wept

Him:
Heya, might sound funny but do you have many moles on your body? Genuine reason I'm asking
Me:
No idea I don't have much time in my day to count them
Him:
haha good answer lol, I guess you don't have many then?
Me:
I already answered the question, check my pics if your're really that interested

Seriously?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 16 July 2021, 06:23:25 pm
PHONE-CALL

ME: Hello.
HIM (tone abrupt-to-dismissive): Are you free in the next half hour?
ME: When someone says "Hello", it's polite to say "Hello" back instead of launching quite an abrupt-sounding question.
HIM: Well, I'm just driving down the M3, coming up to Southampton.
ME: And that stopped you saying "Hello"?
HIM: Forget it!
ME: ___ (ROFL).

;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 16 July 2021, 09:23:07 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 16 July 2021, 06:20:21 pm
This week's delights via AW messaging:

Him:
Morning morning I've just stopped by your profile which sounds good. May I ask are you single or attached? As I'd rather me someone single
Me:
Utterly ridiculous and block

Do we think he's checking that no one will miss me? Jesus wept

Him:
Heya, might sound funny but do you have many moles on your body? Genuine reason I'm asking
Me:
No idea I don't have much time in my day to count them
Him:
haha good answer lol, I guess you don't have many then?
Me:
I already answered the question, check my pics if your're really that interested

Seriously?

Snowy ~

1) He’s a new minted dermatologist trying to drum🥁up business.

2) He wants to play some twisted version of connect the dots on you?🤷🏼‍♀️
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 17 July 2021, 04:30:41 pm
It may seem rude and impatient but I've started hanging up on callers that ask a series of questions for basic info like the cost of a booking and my location. I'm just tired of it when they should be checking that on the ad first
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 17 July 2021, 05:56:08 pm
I just switch off too Maz
Pointless carrying on isn't it
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sophine88 on 17 July 2021, 06:34:48 pm
I’m always getting calls from drug taking clients who obviously haven’t bothered to read in the first line of my ad that I explicitly have no interest in drugs or drug users. I get all sorts of weirdos using strange pseudonyms to refer to their drugs. One guy called me last night and asked if he booked me would I supply some medicine. Other guys asked if I supply festa. Spanish for party I believe. Don’t know how anyone has the patience for meeting drug users. I did before and just didn’t take drugs but they’re always the weirdest clients so I don’t anymore.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HiddenTalents02 on 17 July 2021, 09:26:11 pm
Just a text saying
‘Send adres pls’
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 18 July 2021, 01:39:32 am
Quote from: HiddenTalents02 on 17 July 2021, 09:26:11 pm
Just a text saying
‘Send adres pls’

This is where you either copy/paste the local cop shop or comedy stand up place😆.

“Meet you in 15? I’ll be in all blue.”💙
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 18 July 2021, 06:23:34 am
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 18 July 2021, 01:39:32 am
This is where you either copy/paste the local cop shop or comedy stand up place😆.

“Meet you in 15? I’ll be in all blue.”💙
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 18 July 2021, 06:51:47 am
Can I come over

Various others including 2 separate texts from same number (who's never contacted me before) ;

U free

Town name?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 18 July 2021, 09:05:25 am
Quote from: Sophine88 on 17 July 2021, 06:34:48 pm
I’m always getting calls from drug taking clients who obviously haven’t bothered to read in the first line of my ad that I explicitly have no interest in drugs or drug users. I get all sorts of weirdos using strange pseudonyms to refer to their drugs. One guy called me last night and asked if he booked me would I supply some medicine. Other guys asked if I supply festa. Spanish for party I believe. Don’t know how anyone has the patience for meeting drug users. I did before and just didn’t take drugs but they’re always the weirdest clients so I don’t anymore.
There is the odd client that I know who likes a line of coke and because I know and trust him, and he is behaved then I don’t mind him taking it, but what annoys me is that he insists I take it because he thinks it makes me horny!! Maybe 20 years ago coke did but any sexual thing is the last thing I want to do if I take coke, it just makes me ill and it’s all the crap it’s cut with.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 18 July 2021, 10:13:12 am
Quote from: HiddenTalents02 on 17 July 2021, 09:26:11 pm
Just a text saying
‘Send adres pls’

Oh dear. Had so so many of these yesterday and this morning already, must be a plague of them at the moment, wish someone would find a cure for the idiocy. Ugh
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Infinity on 20 July 2021, 05:17:39 pm
I had a request from someone who wanted to empty out any semen from condoms ... and pour them in his mouth or belly ... lol !

i didn't
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Welshchick86 on 20 July 2021, 09:07:20 pm
I had a request recently for me to sit on a live rabbit and squash it with my arse  :FF :'(
Replied and told him he was disgusting and reported to CE. He’d asked quite a few women the same thing! Vile vile vile!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EnglishAmy40 on 20 July 2021, 09:10:55 pm
I've had these really weird texts recently giving me an address and then pretending to text me again in a panic asking me to please delete. Think it's one of those blackmail things? One text said he had money, but I'm sure he sends those texts to loads of people.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 22 July 2021, 09:10:19 pm
Him: Hi XXXXX, can I come and see you if instead of cash I give you 0.5oz of weed?

Me: lmao

Him: What about if I give you a full oz?

Me: silence
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 22 July 2021, 09:38:07 pm
Quote from: Maz on 22 July 2021, 09:10:19 pm
Him: Hi XXXXX, can I come and see you if instead of cash I give you 0.5oz of weed?

Me: lmao

Him: What about if I give you a full oz?

Me: silence
Come on, Maz - a whole ounce!  It's an offer you can't refuse...;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sophine88 on 23 July 2021, 02:19:14 pm
Tantrictease I agree. Clients seem to have this delusion that drugs make you horny. They do the completely opposite for me hence why I stopped using cocaine with clients. It affects my performance greatly.

I hate drugs and they’re a massive part of the trans escorting scene in London so I’m finding myself
Loving touring to different cities where there isn’t a much of a drug culture and where I’m not getting a lot of booking requests involving drugs not that I take them anyway but I get sick of clients ringing up and the first thing they mention is party. It’s been made very clear on my profile that I don’t take drugs and I prefer clients don’t either if they’re coming to see me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 25 July 2021, 09:09:40 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 18 July 2021, 01:39:32 am
This is where you either copy/paste the local cop shop or comedy stand up place😆...
I went with choice 2 ;D

*
HIM: Can I have a postcode?
ME: Sure.  WV1 1HP.  Like it?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 25 July 2021, 09:12:54 pm
HIM: ...How will I get into the hotel?
ME: On your feet.  Call when you are here.
HIM: And then what?
ME: Perform a round-off, a backflip and a full-twisting Yurchenko (and NAIL your landing), then click your heels three times and say "She sells sea shells on the seashore".

;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 26 July 2021, 03:13:34 am
Email over the weekend
My big greek cock got hard looking at your white ass !
No request for a booking then
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 26 July 2021, 01:51:47 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 25 July 2021, 09:12:54 pm
HIM: ...How will I get into the hotel?
ME: On your feet.  Call when you are here.
HIM: And then what?
ME: Perform a round-off, a backflip and a full-twisting Yurchenko (and NAIL your landing), then click your heels three times and say "She sells sea shells on the seashore".

;D

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 26 July 2021, 06:41:00 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 26 July 2021, 01:51:47 pm
;D
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Harriet_Lille on 27 July 2021, 11:02:39 am
"Hey, would you black up for a booking?"

 ??? ::) :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 27 July 2021, 12:07:04 pm
Quote from: Harriet_Lille on 27 July 2021, 11:02:39 am
"Hey, would you black up for a booking?"

 ??? ::) :FF
Black Hookers Matter...
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 27 July 2021, 01:55:05 pm
Quote from: Harriet_Lille on 27 July 2021, 11:02:39 am
"Hey, would you black up for a booking?"

 ??? ::) :FF

Aaaaah what now?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 27 July 2021, 10:39:07 pm
Quote from: Harriet_Lille on 27 July 2021, 11:02:39 am
"Hey, would you black up for a booking?"

 ??? ::) :FF

Right? Am I missing something here? What on earth🌍does that mean? Will you see black guys? If so, that’s absolutely the oddest way I’ve heard of putting it ….
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 27 July 2021, 10:46:51 pm
He's asking if she would do the booking in blackface - 'blacking up' is the British English way of describing a (usually) white person using makeup to darken their skin to make some weird caricature of a black person.

I can't say I've ever been asked that not far off twenty years, so that's definitely one for the oddbod list :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 27 July 2021, 10:53:34 pm
Seems quite unusual  :-[
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sera_fin on 28 July 2021, 07:19:50 am
Yet another tedious snoozefest

Hi ***********
Hope you are well. Great profile.
I would like to arrange a really kinky session with you for a 90 mins outcall on Friday 13th August at 1:30pm. I will be staying in a hotel near Paddington station.
I'm 38, an attractive, educated, super kinky professional white male.
I’m seriously into Ass worship and would welcome the opportunity of getting up close and personal with that very sexy bum of yours. Seriously gagging to get my face into that ass and asshole of yours. I do have some very kinky requirements which are outlined below. Hopefully you can help me out ;-)

Session details:
I would love, love you to keep your sexy bum unwashed for our session, preferably for 24hrs or as long as you are comfortable with, so as to create an intoxicating au naturel smell I am absolutely craving for our session. This is a real turn on and I would love to appreciate your natural ass scent. If it’s possible it would be a real turn on if you could go to the toilet prior to the start of our session.
As part of this, I would love for you to soil a pair of smooth light coloured big cotton knickers with a few brown skid marks that could be used during our session.

To start our session it would be good if you could keep the pants on and with your dirty unwashed bum you would tease me , making me stick my nose in deep and inhaling to get off on your prepared dirty ass and knickers.
Then as the session progresses you would take the knickers off, turn them inside out and put them back on with the dirty knickers facing me , to stretch over your bum to repeat the teasing, and sniffing. I was thinking that by pulling the crotch away from your bum you could have me suck on your dirty knickers. Really Nasty ;-)

Eventually I'd like you to take the knickers off and I would then be able to really go to town with you making me put my nose right into your dirty ass and being made to rim and clean your dirty asshole good and proper. Nasty ;-)

Would be great to have lots of filthy chat and encouragement as well as oral & hand relief. It would be great if you could edge me for a big build up to orgasm.
Let me know your thoughts if the above is of interest and if you would be up for it. Really would like to session with you and happy to pay extra for this type of session.

Hopefully we can arrange something for Friday 13th August . Please do confirm ASAP so can confirm arrangements.

Best Wishes,
Ashley
Xx
 

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 28 July 2021, 08:04:52 am
I've started ignoring the ones that appear to be a copy and paste job now.

I've got one that's so bloody persistent even though I cancelled on.him last time and ignored his messages. He's such a nuisance.

Now he's back in town he's messaged me again and asked if I was available via my friend then texted me again so I've stupidly agreed to see him :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 28 July 2021, 10:08:25 pm
My fans seem to have gone on holiday, or been sectioned or indeed been sentenced..

Him: Good afterboon can you confirm your services and prices please
Me: Nope. Try checking my AW profile, that's what it's there for after all
Him: Silence
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 29 July 2021, 02:11:34 am
Client: How much for service.

Me: You’ll really need to go back to the post where you found me & find that information there.

Client: No.

Me: (poleaxed) Ooook. (proceeds to go about my day)

ONE MINUTE LATER.
Client: How much for service.

Me: So you think refusing to do as I ask is going to force me to do things your way?

Blocked. Yeesh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Harriet_Lille on 29 July 2021, 09:56:26 am
Quote from: amy on 27 July 2021, 10:46:51 pm
He's asking if she would do the booking in blackface - 'blacking up' is the British English way of describing a (usually) white person using makeup to darken their skin to make some weird caricature of a black person.

I can't say I've ever been asked that not far off twenty years, so that's definitely one for the oddbod list :D

Yes but to be fair I get a lot of purposefully daft requests like that. People just asking me outlandish things for kicks because they think it's funny. So that definitely is one of those and not a serious thing. Although there may be someone out there who is into that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 29 July 2021, 10:30:57 am
Texts such as 'What are your services and how many times can I cum'.

Just read the profile!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 29 July 2021, 02:10:34 pm
An email from someone asking why I've blocked them to which I replied if I'd blocked you you couldnt email .
Asking to see me despite no light of available or number display
The idiot cant read maybe I'll block him !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sophine88 on 29 July 2021, 04:19:42 pm
Anyone else just ignore those guys who message. Young professional here. Or professional guy here. This isn’t fucking tinder love it’s adult work. Do one of you not paying for my Natures bits.

Another one that pisses me off is guys who ask do you see couples. Maybe some escorts do get couples but in all my time escorting this has never ever obviously been a genuine request and more some weirdo fantasist.

Another one is those weirdos who make fake profiles pertaining to be women and asking it I take females. Like where do these fucking weirdos have the time in their day to conjure up this stuff. I called one guy out before on it and said I know that’s another girls picture you’re using I reverse image searched it and I’m reporting you to the police. He then persisted to ring me with a heavy welsh accent to call me a cunt and say what’s my problem in such a big manly voice. I thought to myself what a complete and utter fucking weirdo. Like who has the time to do these things only losers.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sophine88 on 29 July 2021, 04:23:47 pm
Oh god. Another one is will be in the area later if you fancy meeting. If I fancy meeting? If I fancy meeting? Did I hear that correctly? You’re the one who wants to meet me. Not the other way around. This one is equally annoying. I don’t know what about the phrasing grinds my gears.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 29 July 2021, 11:21:40 pm

Sophine
Quote from: Sophine88 on 29 July 2021, 04:23:47 pm
Oh god. Another one is will be in the area later if you fancy meeting. If I fancy meeting? If I fancy meeting? Did I hear that correctly? You’re the one who wants to meet me. Not the other way around. This one is equally annoying. I don’t know what about the phrasing grinds my gears.


You crack me up, you really do! That's sooo funny  ;D

Quote from: Sophine88 on 29 July 2021, 04:19:42 pm
Anyone else just ignore those guys who message. Young professional here. Or professional guy here. This isn’t fucking tinder love it’s adult work. Do one of you not paying for my Natures bits.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 31 July 2021, 08:38:35 pm
Email on AW (where else) a couple of hours ago. I haven't opened it because I don't log in at weekends:

Quote
Subject: Hello to,you
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I am looking for an out call tonight
I am staying at [a hotel not too far away, had I been at my flat]
Are you close by?
Thank you
X

1: I don't work Saturdays, or at least only incredibly rarely
2: I don't take any more same day bookings after 6pm
3: If my phone number is not displayed, I'm not available
4: My name and location are prominently displayed, and I expect them both to be acknowledged
5: All of the above are made clear on my profile page

Sterling effort apart from all that, obviously ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 31 July 2021, 08:47:13 pm
Quote from: Sophine88 on 29 July 2021, 04:23:47 pm
Oh god. Another one is will be in the area later if you fancy meeting. If I fancy meeting? If I fancy meeting? Did I hear that correctly? You’re the one who wants to meet me. Not the other way around. This one is equally annoying. I don’t know what about the phrasing grinds my gears.

No, anybody who asks me about 'meeting' or 'meeting up' (and don't get me started on people who use the word 'meet' as a noun instead of 'booking' or 'incall' or whatever) gets one chance provided they otherwise sound OK; I'll politely tell then that I can do an incall depending on when they want to book and for how long, but I won't be 'meeting' them anywhere and they'll need to come to me.

The response to that does a great job of screening out the twattery :).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jadine on 31 July 2021, 10:15:17 pm
New [Adultwork] member on about seeing me for 2 hrs but wanted my number didn’t like how he come across so not give it , then he messaged on about can I do overnight I said I didnt offer them , next message half hour later said he in Sheffield , I said I wasn’t doing anymore bookings as I finished for the day , he sent another and deleted his profile before I read it , what a knob .



[edited for clarity]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sophine88 on 02 August 2021, 10:43:28 am
Hahaha this one is pretty funny. I love pissing Timewasters off when I’m not busy.

Hey babe u working?x

I am x

Cool you like hung guys? X

I like guys who have money to spend x

I’m looking for a bj only service x can u do x

Bj only service? Never heard of that don’t think I have the required training done. It’s best contact another wg. I don’t know how to do that service.

Okay no need to get fucking pissy I’ll bring my money somewhere else u sket.

Love when I get a reaction out of them. Feel like they wanted the reaction or rise out of me but it worked the other way around.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 02 August 2021, 11:08:45 am
Email from Tom9inch
Can I come fuck your brains out for 700 bareback
I did ask for his number which he said he didnt have!!
He then provided it only because I actually want to block him !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 02 August 2021, 04:14:55 pm
I've had it with these numb skulls really they get spoken to very nicely by me each time unless I put the phone down on them or they are generally rude. How they can spend time talking but cant call to cancel..
I suppose  its exhausted calling everyone and wanking at same time
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sophine88 on 02 August 2021, 06:10:28 pm
Another hilarious one today:

Him: Hi

Me: Hi you okay

Him: Yes thank you
Who is this? X

Me: I don’t know you messaged me first

Him: I messaged a lot of people now who are you?

Me: Oh you mean you’re one of those knobs who messaged a dozen wgs at a time. You just outed yourself as a timewaster. Not a very clever one at that.

Hahahah what a knob. Basically outed himself.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 02 August 2021, 06:51:30 pm
Anyone had this one yet?

Hi,

I'd love to book a meeting with you this coming Friday.
But I have one small ask - would you mind taking a lateral flow covid test before or during my time with you? I can bring a test kit with me if needed. Let me know what you think.

Thanks a lot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: TantricTease on 03 August 2021, 07:54:20 am
I am really getting sick of men that say “I’ll be there between 10am and 11am” as if that’s how you go about booking an appointment with any business! I just don’t get where these ones are coming from, and the other day a man phoned and I told him the area and he said “I’ll give you a phone if I make it there” and I didn’t even tell him that wasn’t how it works as it should be obvious! From now on then I’m just not even going to explain to them, CBA anymore.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 03 August 2021, 11:18:16 am
Quote from: TantricTease on 03 August 2021, 07:54:20 am
I am really getting sick of men that say “I’ll be there between 10am and 11am” as if that’s how you go about booking an appointment with any business! I just don’t get where these ones are coming from, and the other day a man phoned and I told him the area and he said “I’ll give you a phone if I make it there” and I didn’t even tell him that wasn’t how it works as it should be obvious! From now on then I’m just not even going to explain to them, CBA anymore.

I close down players like that with, 'No, don't ring me back'. ;) Sticks a cork in it.
They have no intention but it's satisfying to retain that control of the conversation.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 03 August 2021, 02:57:56 pm
Right! 15 minutes ~ as long as you give me a heads up is fine. 10:00 to 10:15 or whatever bc of traffic etc, but an hour? Hell no. HELL NO.

The few times I’ve been told that I’ve simply said that was fine, but if I had a chance to see someone in between 10 - 11, I wasn’t going to turn them down, since they weren’t able to pin📌down when they could get to me. Amazing how the original requester changed their tune.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 03 August 2021, 03:25:27 pm
Quote from: TantricTease on 03 August 2021, 07:54:20 am
I am really getting sick of men that say “I’ll be there between 10am and 11am” as if that’s how you go about booking an appointment with any business! I just don’t get where these ones are coming from, and the other day a man phoned and I told him the area and he said “I’ll give you a phone if I make it there” and I didn’t even tell him that wasn’t how it works as it should be obvious! From now on then I’m just not even going to explain to them, CBA anymore.

I used to have a regular who arrived within a 15 minute window for years, he'd call me when around the corner. On top of the slight overrun I tend to accommodate this took up best part of 2 hours for a 1 hour appointment I had kept at previous/slightly lower rate.

I was very helpful when I moved/changed location and how I worked, when he could finally make it was late, did not read my detailed directions.........it just went from bad to worse with other hapless violations during which he asked 'surely you can trust me'.  ::) :FF

In hindsight I would have nipped it right in the bud at the start with the time keeping.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 03 August 2021, 08:35:12 pm
That must be infuriating expected to wait within an hour
Like you would be sitting around for them ..I dont think so
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 03 August 2021, 09:21:47 pm
Quote from: EveEveEve on 02 August 2021, 06:51:30 pm
would you mind taking a lateral flow covid test before or during my time with you? I can bring a test kit with me if needed. Let me know what you think.

I would very much welcome the chance to tell this monumental fuckwit what I think about that, although I suspect I won't get the chance ;D.

Quote from: Sophine88 on 02 August 2021, 10:43:28 am
Love when I get a reaction out of them. Feel like they wanted the reaction or rise out of me but it worked the other way around.

If the above is a 'reaction' for you, then your bar is set a lot lower than mine. It sounds to me as if he was angling for a lower price (because for whatever reason some of them think blow jobs are easier than shagging ::)), but if not all you got was a lost booking and potentially pissing off a nutter. Nicely done.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 03 August 2021, 09:48:26 pm
Quote from: amy on 03 August 2021, 09:21:47 pm
I would very much welcome the chance to tell this monumental fuckwit what I think about that, although I suspect I won't get the chance ;D.

Oh I wanted to!! I wanted to… but I’m trying to be ‘good’ 😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 06 August 2021, 08:37:58 am
When idiots send a copy and paste job to you once in the evening and then once in the morning  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 06 August 2021, 02:54:08 pm
Text message thread at 9:55pm a few days ago

Him - Could I book an outcall to E2?

Me - When do you want this outcall for?

Him - Tonight dear.  Anytime before 12 preferably as I got to work tomorrow.

Me -  No, I don't do on the day bookings for outcall, please book in advance as I am not going to go out tonight.

Him - Okay, I am going to be cheeky but if you do decide to confirm the booking for another time is it possible for a slight discount. I'm a student and work part time, your location is close to me.  Lol would be amazig.

Me -  *WTAF*

He's still bugging me for a booking but I notice he is offering full price now but he can whistle, I am not going to an outcall for his cheapazz.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 07 August 2021, 03:16:38 pm

Hi princess BLACK LIVES MATTER! White sissy bitch boy here lol when we meet can we discuss systemic racism and police brutality towards the innocent oppressed black community
I havnt replied !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 07 August 2021, 08:01:00 pm
Quote from: Kiss on 07 August 2021, 03:16:38 pm
Hi princess BLACK LIVES MATTER! White sissy bitch boy here lol when we meet can we discuss systemic racism and police brutality towards the innocent oppressed black community
I havnt replied !
Why not?  He sounds like the sort of sane, clear-headed punter that we black hookers just love...
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 07 August 2021, 08:03:33 pm
HIM: Prices?
ME: No.  Capricorn.
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 07 August 2021, 08:26:27 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 07 August 2021, 08:03:33 pm
HIM: Prices?
ME: No.  Capricorn.
;D

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 07 August 2021, 08:36:09 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 07 August 2021, 08:01:00 pm
Why not?  He sounds like the sort of sane, clear-headed punter that we black hookers just love...
;D
Hes yours 😄
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 07 August 2021, 08:50:08 pm
Quote from: Kiss on 07 August 2021, 08:36:09 pm
Hes yours 😄
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 07 August 2021, 08:50:30 pm
Quote from: Miffy on 07 August 2021, 08:26:27 pm
;D
Hee hee!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 09 August 2021, 10:38:43 am
"can you do a car meet, and can we do it in your car"

Jesus Christ, have some dignity man
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Missizzy on 09 August 2021, 11:04:42 am
Quote
"can you do a car meet, and can we do it in your car"

I'm surprised he didn't ask for a cheeky KFC on the way home as well.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 09 August 2021, 11:26:08 am
😂😂😂

Too cheap for KFC he's more of a MacDonalds kind of guy
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 09 August 2021, 03:46:57 pm
Quote from: sera_fin on 28 July 2021, 07:19:50 am
Hi ***********
Hope you are well. Great profile.
I would like to arrange a really kinky session with you for a 90 mins outcall on Friday 13th August at 1:30pm. I will be staying in a hotel near Paddington station.
I'm 38, an attractive, educated, super kinky professional white male.
I’m seriously into Ass worship and would welcome the opportunity of getting up close and personal with that very sexy bum of yours. Seriously gagging to get my face into that ass and asshole of yours. I do have some very kinky requirements which are outlined below. Hopefully you can help me out ;-)

Session details:
I would love, love you to keep your sexy bum unwashed for our session, preferably for 24hrs or as long as you are comfortable with, so as to create an intoxicating au naturel smell I am absolutely craving for our session. This is a real turn on and I would love to appreciate your natural ass scent. If it’s possible it would be a real turn on if you could go to the toilet prior to the start of our session.
As part of this, I would love for you to soil a pair of smooth light coloured big cotton knickers with a few brown skid marks that could be used during our session.

To start our session it would be good if you could keep the pants on and with your dirty unwashed bum you would tease me , making me stick my nose in deep and inhaling to get off on your prepared dirty ass and knickers.
Then as the session progresses you would take the knickers off, turn them inside out and put them back on with the dirty knickers facing me , to stretch over your bum to repeat the teasing, and sniffing. I was thinking that by pulling the crotch away from your bum you could have me suck on your dirty knickers. Really Nasty ;-)

Eventually I'd like you to take the knickers off and I would then be able to really go to town with you making me put my nose right into your dirty ass and being made to rim and clean your dirty asshole good and proper. Nasty ;-)

Would be great to have lots of filthy chat and encouragement as well as oral & hand relief. It would be great if you could edge me for a big build up to orgasm.
Let me know your thoughts if the above is of interest and if you would be up for it. Really would like to session with you and happy to pay extra for this type of session.

Hopefully we can arrange something for Friday 13th August . Please do confirm ASAP so can confirm arrangements.

Best Wishes,
Ashley
Xx

He's not struck lucky yet - word for word and same date required, this arrived in my AW messages today.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 09 August 2021, 06:54:27 pm
Quote
Hope you are well. Great profile.
I would like to arrange a really kinky session with you for a 1 hour incall next Friday 16th July at 11:30am.
I'm 38, an attractive, educated, super kinky professional white male.
I’m seriously into Ass worship and would welcome the opportunity of getting up close and personal with that very sexy bum of yours. Seriously gagging to get my face into that ass and asshole of yours. I do have some very kinky requirements which are outlined below. Hopefully you can help me out ;-)

blah
bleat
drone

Me too... he's a busy bunny
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 12 August 2021, 01:28:25 pm
Him: Wow, you're a black man's dream. I feel I need to have an affair with you right now.
Me: *deletes message*


And the stupid questions they ask sometimes, especially when it's on my ad...

"Is there a shower?" I felt like telling him no but there is a garden hose you can use. I couldn't be bothered with him after that so ignored.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 12 August 2021, 06:40:46 pm
Quote from: Maz on 12 August 2021, 01:28:25 pm
Him: Wow, you're a black man's dream. I feel I need to have an affair with you right now.
Me: *deletes message*


And the stupid questions they ask sometimes, especially when it's on my ad...

"Is there a shower?" I felt like telling him no but there is a garden hose you can use. I couldn't be bothered with him after that so ignored.

Maz, I think I’ve told this story but here we go:

After we’re “done”, the client goes to shower🚿(hotel) & says, “Are these towels clean?”

The towels in question are sheet white, perfectly & OCDly folded by yours truly here🙄. Nothing hanging awry, damp, on the floor etc.

Without missing a beat (I was so proud of myself😂), I said, “No, this hotel only gives us dirty ones.”

He dries off with a HAND TOWEL🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️.

In the words of my mother: “What did you think was going to happen?”🙄
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 13 August 2021, 04:16:17 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 12 August 2021, 06:40:46 pm
Maz, I think I’ve told this story but here we go:

After we’re “done”, the client goes to shower🚿(hotel) & says, “Are these towels clean?”

The towels in question are sheet white, perfectly & OCDly folded by yours truly here🙄. Nothing hanging awry, damp, on the floor etc.

Without missing a beat (I was so proud of myself😂), I said, “No, this hotel only gives us dirty ones.”

He dries off with a HAND TOWEL🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️.

In the words of my mother: “What did you think was going to happen?”🙄

When I was in Brighton I had an older guy ask if he could bring his own towel. It turned out that "his own towel" meant a huge roll of blue paper like you get in public toilets.

He called me into the bathroom because he couldn't work out how to turn off the shower (which to be fair was non-intuitive) and he just had shed loads of paper towels all over the floor.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 14 August 2021, 12:10:28 pm
Thank you and just one more question... you don't have any STDs or anything?

I tell you, when they start with the 'one last thing' questions it's proof of some douchbaggery.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 14 August 2021, 03:40:37 pm
Quote from: Nadya on 14 August 2021, 12:10:28 pm
Thank you and just one more question... you don't have any STDs or anything?

I tell you, when they start with the 'one last thing' questions it's proof of some douchbaggery.
Everytime ..oh can I just ask ..I tell you if they did this at the beginning of the call we wouldnt even book them .
Or the stupid after texts .how many times can I cum ? Can I cum twice ..my heart sinks I just dont answer and they dont turn up
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 14 August 2021, 09:47:33 pm
Quote from: Nadya on 14 August 2021, 12:10:28 pm
Thank you and just one more question... you don't have any STDs or anything?

I tell you, when they start with the 'one last thing' questions it's proof of some douchbaggery.

This makes me insane.😡 I always give them my patented Death💀Stare & say gee whiz, if you’re worried about that, you probably shouldn’t be seeing random people off the internet, huh?!

I deliberately don’t answer that question, because it’s so insulting. Go back to your damn GF/wife/SO.
*Scowls*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 16 August 2021, 12:07:42 pm
Him: What toys do you have?

Me: A toy train, scalextric set, couple of teddy bears and a yoyo.


All of them have been royal idiots today, except one and that is if he actually turns up. Going to stop with the green light and just take what comes from now on.

Surprise surprise, the twat cancelled right at the last minute. The phone is switched off for the day now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 16 August 2021, 04:10:52 pm
Quote from: Maz on 16 August 2021, 12:07:42 pm
Him: What toys do you have?

Me: A toy train, scalextric set, couple of teddy bears and a yoyo.


All of them have been royal idiots today, except one and that is if he actually turns up. Going to stop with the green light and just take what comes from now on.

Surprise surprise, the twat cancelled right at the last minute. The phone is switched off for the day now.

 ;D ;D ;D Toy train
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 16 August 2021, 04:29:07 pm
Quote from: Dynamite Doll on 16 August 2021, 04:10:52 pm
;D ;D ;D Toy train

Lol, of course  ::) my mistake  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 16 August 2021, 08:40:30 pm
Spot the TW, how do I know?

Him: Hi are you available tonight?
Me: I don't work nights
Him: OK no worries

In my opinion he went down too easy..

My query is, if someone was genuine, appreciate they'd probably have mentioned a specific time from the outset but bear with me, wouldn't you say something like, oh sorry I meant sometime this evening and offer a time range?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 16 August 2021, 08:44:48 pm
Him: Haw much
Me: what time were you thinking of and how long for?
Him: sex
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 16 August 2021, 09:18:42 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 16 August 2021, 08:44:48 pm
Him: Haw much
Me: what time were you thinking of and how long for?
Him: sex

Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 16 August 2021, 09:20:57 pm
Quote from: Maz on 16 August 2021, 12:07:42 pm
Him: What toys do you have?

Me: A toy train, scalextric set, couple of teddy bears and a yoyo.
Haha! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 16 August 2021, 09:23:53 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 16 August 2021, 08:44:48 pm
Him: Haw much
Me: what time were you thinking of and how long for?
Him: sex
The twit!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 17 August 2021, 01:42:35 pm
Him: You like a lot of pussy eating and receiving?

Me: No, I've never eaten cats
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 17 August 2021, 02:39:56 pm
 ;D

Won't someone think of the poor cats  :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 18 August 2021, 11:20:29 am
Him - What's the earliest you can do today?

Me - I can do 1:30pm

Him - Can we do a little earlier, like 11:30am?

Me -  Do you think I don't understand the concept of 'earliest'?  I...said...what..I...said.

These fools are about to try me today!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 18 August 2021, 11:22:01 am
Another one

First message him -  'POS cod'

Me - I don't eat any type of fish. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 18 August 2021, 06:24:08 pm
This one escalated quite quickly..

Him: When u next available bbe x
Me: Wtf is a bebe?
Him: Sorry was meant to say bbe
Me: Yep not much better. My name is Grace
Him: Sorry I didn't mean to offend
Me: I'm not offended I just don't like being called babe, babe, hun etc.
Him: I'm a actually a decent guy just wanted some female company
Me: You haven't actually given me a meeting time or length?
Him: Can hardly see how im gona enjoy it.this been a dissaster lol
Me: No, a disaster is what's happening in Afghanistan. Better find someone else. Happy hunting
Him Ur a joke

Like seriously?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 18 August 2021, 06:34:46 pm
Grace
We are all apparently called babe hun darling we dont have any other names  🤢
Why dont I just change my escort name to sexy babe -hun
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 18 August 2021, 08:04:34 pm
Quote from: Kiss on 18 August 2021, 06:34:46 pm
Grace
We are all apparently called babe hun darling we dont have any other names  🤢
Why dont I just change my escort name to sexy babe -hun

Have no doubt that if you changed your name to sexy babe-hun, they'd still get it wrong or call you something completely different  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 18 August 2021, 09:28:22 pm
Kiss & Miffy totes. I changed my handle to an actual name and still they insist :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 18 August 2021, 09:46:33 pm
“Hi.love.the look. Are u avail, now.are you Working, for sex”

No, I work for money… hmm
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 19 August 2021, 10:57:06 am
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 18 August 2021, 09:28:22 pm
Kiss & Miffy totes. I changed my handle to an actual name and still they insist :)

My handle is a name too and I get all the babe and hun....I feckin hate 'Hun' also, it really gets on my nerves.  Call me a petty ass Ho, but don't call me Hun.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 20 August 2021, 03:11:33 pm
Idiot:
Hiya
May I ask
1 hour in my flat
Sex no condom
Pussy licking
Breast licking
Blow job no condom
Intercourse no
condom
Is it possible
Tonight after 11
**post code was put** Westeon super mare

ME: FUCK OFF ** I instantly saved as BB and blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 21 August 2021, 09:13:57 pm
Not only cant they not read your profile ever,  they dont want too
All they want is to ride raw  :FF


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 22 September 2021, 11:25:12 am
I do hardly any of what hes asking !!!
Guess he just dosnt want to read my profile
Subject:   booking for 1 or 2 or 3 hours ( outcall )


PLEASE READ CAREFULLY .. thank you kindly


Hey baby ...

r u available for 1 hours or 2 hours ... out call ... ??


i will book a economical hotel very close to your place


Let me know the charges for 1 hour or 2 hour out call … for the below things i fancy and which i like to do



i fancy and like to do these below naughty stuff… how about you … ? ( what are your do’s & don’t’s from my list ?


Session 1 :
DFK = Deep French Kissing .
Foreplay
Eat Your Vagina .
Passionate Gentle Fingering = Vaginal Fingering .
Make U Cum .

Session 2 :
Blow Job without Condom .
CIM = Cum In Your Mouth .
Swallow My Cum .
Cum Anywhere Outside On You .

Session 3 :
Bare-Back = Vaginal Fucking .
Cum Inside In Your Vagina.
Cum Anywhere Outside On You .
Swallow My Cum .

Session 4 :
Give you an Awesome Sensual Sexual Massage with Happy Ending.

Session 5:
Rimming ( Me Giving ) = Lick your Ass .
Passionate Gentle Fingering ( Me Giving ) = Fingering your Ass .
Rimming ( Me Receiving ) = Lick my Ass .
A Levels Anal ( Me Giving ) = Bare-Back Fucking Ass .
Cum Inside In Your Ass .
Cum Anywhere Outside On You .
Swallow My Cum .

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 22 September 2021, 12:22:31 pm
Email via A.W inbox from a member who has a lot of positive feedback. Despite my adultwork page clearly stating that I am *OutCall Only Escort and How To Book*  have no time to respond to such idiots.

Idiot: Are you doing Outcalls? :FF :FF

I just deleted that email. What I do to any fool that does not read.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 22 September 2021, 12:24:09 pm
Quote from: Kiss on 22 September 2021, 11:25:12 am
I do hardly any of what hes asking !!!
Guess he just dosnt want to read my profile
Subject:   booking for 1 or 2 or 3 hours ( outcall )


PLEASE READ CAREFULLY .. thank you kindly


Hey baby ...

r u available for 1 hours or 2 hours ... out call ... ??


i will book a economical hotel very close to your place


Let me know the charges for 1 hour or 2 hour out call … for the below things i fancy and which i like to do



i fancy and like to do these below naughty stuff… how about you … ? ( what are your do’s & don’t’s from my list ?


Session 1 :
DFK = Deep French Kissing .
Foreplay
Eat Your Vagina .
Passionate Gentle Fingering = Vaginal Fingering .
Make U Cum .

Session 2 :
Blow Job without Condom .
CIM = Cum In Your Mouth .
Swallow My Cum .
Cum Anywhere Outside On You .

Session 3 :
Bare-Back = Vaginal Fucking .
Cum Inside In Your Vagina.
Cum Anywhere Outside On You .
Swallow My Cum .

Session 4 :
Give you an Awesome Sensual Sexual Massage with Happy Ending.

Session 5:
Rimming ( Me Giving ) = Lick your Ass .
Passionate Gentle Fingering ( Me Giving ) = Fingering your Ass .
Rimming ( Me Receiving ) = Lick my Ass .
A Levels Anal ( Me Giving ) = Bare-Back Fucking Ass .
Cum Inside In Your Ass .
Cum Anywhere Outside On You .
Swallow My Cum .

That email will go directly to the bin and block before hand.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PinkR2021 on 22 September 2021, 02:11:09 pm
Quote from: Kiss on 22 September 2021, 11:25:12 am
Eat Your Vagina .

This phrase alone would have made me want to bin it. Of all the the ways to say that, he chose that wording  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 22 September 2021, 09:51:08 pm
Quote from: PinkR2021 on 22 September 2021, 02:11:09 pm
This phrase alone would have made me want to bin it. Of all the the ways to say that, he chose that wording  :o

I literally turned into the blinking meme guy when I read that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 23 September 2021, 08:14:47 am
He just couldnt see what was wrong with the email before sending it !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 23 September 2021, 09:31:05 pm
HIM: Can I book?
ME: Sure. 
HIM: Adress?
ME: A dress is fine, if that's what you want to wear.  I won't judge you...

;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 23 September 2021, 09:34:40 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 23 September 2021, 09:31:05 pm
HIM: Can I book?
ME: Sure. 
HIM: Adress?
ME: A dress is fine, if that's what you want to wear.  I won't judge you...

;D

killin me.... ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 24 September 2021, 12:06:37 am
Quote from: saltysweet on 23 September 2021, 09:34:40 pm
killin me.... ;D
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 24 September 2021, 08:44:02 am
And another tempting offer last night !

To be transparent I’m 19 and trying to lose my virginity so I can get rid of my shyness towards girls, I found you very pretty.(. my face isn't even shown  !!)
 so was hoping to share my first time with you. If that is alright, is it possible you can teach me how to make you feel good and if you don’t mind can I bring some alcohol or weed (or both) to calm my nerves haha. I’m hoping to spend some time with you so it should also help pass the time. If you are okay with meeting me, could you give me a few pointers in what you like so I can practice my stamina.


 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 24 September 2021, 04:09:09 pm
Him: Hello lovely are you free tonight? X

Me: Call tonight and find out! :-)

Him: What time from? ;-)

ME: When you want to make a serious booking.

Him: Crushing silence.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 24 September 2021, 05:07:55 pm
Quote from: Kiss on 24 September 2021, 08:44:02 am
And another tempting offer last night !

To be transparent I’m 19 and trying to lose my virginity so I can get rid of my shyness towards girls, I found you very pretty.(. my face isn't even shown  !!)

I didn't know there was a correlation between shyness and virginity,  must be something wrong with me then as I'm the shyest person I know and I'm definitely not a virgin
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 24 September 2021, 06:02:36 pm
Quote from: Caledonia on 24 September 2021, 05:07:55 pm
I didn't know there was a correlation between shyness and virginity,  must be something wrong with me then as I'm the shyest person I know and I'm definitely not a virgin
😄
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 24 September 2021, 11:56:33 pm
Copypaste-tastic! And all kinds of wrong - can we all guess which site generated this one? :D

Quote
Good day sexy. (actually, my name is Amy)
My name is XXX. 41 years old.
Been on the site a long time, please check my feedback. (if I gave a ratfuck about your feedback I would have done that already; I don't, I haven't and I won't)
I am in London on business next week and I'm looking for someone to play with Wednesday, late evening. Would you be available?('Play'? As in what children do? Vomit. And I don't work after 8pm)
XXX

I deleted it unopened before I was tempted to reply with the above ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 27 September 2021, 02:59:53 pm
I had a call this afternoon over a bad mobile line so I could barely catch what he was saying. I confirmed and gave him my postcode and asked him to message his nae for my phonebook as I couldn't understand what he said. All fine so far and he sent his name. Then I get a message if I would do a 69. This is partly my fault as I have a new profile on one site and need to finish it and comunications wasn't very good. being messaged after confirming can be okay but is usually not. Personally I hate a 69 with clients and as he was persistent I said not a problem. Bear in mind that he had asked what my half hour rate was (and I nudged him by giving my hour rate which isn't much more) and he still asked if I did quickies. The real scorcher was when he messaged a few minutes later to say OK as long as I washed my ****. I'm not best pleased about this as I had just had a bath so told him if he had any doubts about me being clean he could cancel now so he said "Bye". A few minutes goes by and he apologises and asks if he can still see me and is it okay if he arrives half an hour later because it's raining. I messaged back no (without rubbing in I don't like being insulted) he's not getting a free half hour of my time. Then he's all he can manage 10 minutes earlier. Oh, and he asked on the phone I he could do poppers. Well, no. I run a drug free house and don't want the bother of stinky poppers or clients off their heads. If they're stoked for poppers they're not paying attention. I do GFE not pornstar fucktoy.

He was already blocked after insulting my professionalism. Now I've thrown money down the drain but I'm not going to feed the attitude in his mind or any other clients mind that I am a piece of dirty filth or going to be compared with a piece of filth just because I'm being paid. Maybe nobody cares and another sex worker is laughing all the way to the bank as I'm writing this but I feel you have to draw a line. Standards must be maintained. If we allow clients to drive standards down and cheesepare we know which direction this heads in and where it ends up.

My self respect is not for sale to some old git behaving like he stepped out of the 1970's.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 27 September 2021, 03:10:36 pm
Tickle, forgive me for asking, but if you could barely catch what he was saying, why did you confirm and book him in? A bad mobile connection is a recipe for disaster.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 27 September 2021, 03:51:07 pm
Quote from: Miffy on 27 September 2021, 03:10:36 pm
Tickle, forgive me for asking, but if you could barely catch what he was saying, why did you confirm and book him in? A bad mobile connection is a recipe for disaster.

Yeah I know... It seemed fairly uncomplicated so I wing it sometimes. He's blocked now anyway. I'm going to finish writing up the new profile because the temporary one I have up leaves to much leeway and doesn't fit my usual screening pattern.

I had another dud just phone up. Low voice and few words so as he wasn't talking I hung up. He tried to continue via message and I was getting weird stuff like could he fuck me if he could clean my house. The really kicker is "naked". No I just want vanilla well behaved and respectful clients who pay promptly and go away when the deed is done. He was blocked as you can probably guess. That's before not wanting some weirdo taking up my personal time and snooping around my house. I don't think so!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 27 September 2021, 07:32:06 pm
Quote from: PinkR2021 on 22 September 2021, 02:11:09 pm
This phrase alone would have made me want to bin it. Of all the the ways to say that, he chose that wording  :o
Canabilism !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 27 September 2021, 09:23:35 pm
After a relatively quiet period.. they're back!

Just from today...

Him: rings despite contact request for text only
Me: It's text only thanks
Him: You available ?
Me: I'm working most of the day, what time?
Him: ASAP ?
Me: That's not a time?
Him: 11 (it's literally 10.47am)
Me: Don't be ridiculous. How on earth do you know, without my address, that you can get here in 10 minutes?
Him: Silence

Text received at 1.23am
Him: Sorry its late I was just wondering when u might be available for a hour booking x
Me (at 7.12am) Really? Why on earth would I be up at 1.23am? My working hours are 9am to 7pm, not stupid o'clock
Him: I didn't release I put that I put I wanted to be seen last night or did I achelly apologise for it being late and was asking when would u be available bit I don't rude people so I won't come see u thank you
Me: You're already blocked love so never gonna happen

So as long as you apologise for waking me up at stupid o'clock then I should accept your booking? Piss off! Thank God for Do No Disturb
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 28 September 2021, 08:55:52 am
Yet anopther very likely to be blocked before we begin. I miss his call and he mesages would I be available on such a day at such a time. He would call but he has his daughter with him. My first thought is why do I need to know this and is he just another married man with a family using up my time to fantaisise. I tell him to call on the day after my start time for taking calls. Now he wants to call the next day because he'sworking from home then asks if I use Whatsapp to discuss via message. Wewll, no. Whatsapp is a sceurity risk and I don't discuss booking svia message and no I don't want a random man I have never met masturbating on my time for free. On balance I feel it extremely unlikely for him to make that appointment and have already tagged him as a possible problem and a timewater.

I've also got one eye on a reported rise of misogyny related incidents and a flood of idiots this past week not to mention an in your face catcall this week so more trigger happy than I usually am.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 28 September 2021, 02:34:38 pm
Booking by deception.

Had a guy whose number I blacklisted. He messaged me via AW last night to make a booking which I agreed to.

i asked for his number via AW and stupidly didn't look it up on my phone. He had even texted and called off his phone to make a booking this morning which I ignored due having him blacklisted. Then when he texts to say he has arrived, I see it is the same person! :FF

Thankfully, he was 10mins late so that was my excuse not to see him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 28 September 2021, 06:29:01 pm
Quote from: Maz on 28 September 2021, 02:34:38 pm
Booking by deception.

Had a guy whose number I blacklisted. He messaged me via AW last night to make a booking which I agreed to.

i asked for his number via AW and stupidly didn't look it up on my phone. He had even texted and called off his phone to make a booking this morning which I ignored due having him blacklisted. Then when he texts to say he has arrived, I see it is the same person! :FF

Thankfully, he was 10mins late so that was my excuse not to see him.

I've had a few I blocked ages ago trying to call this week including one who I unceremoniously asked to leave before taking any money.

The earlier timewaster I posted on did indeed turn out to be a timewaster and began faffing saying he had never done this before andasked what was involved. I politely reiterated my basic pitch and said I'm not discussing anything involving sex talk and after he didn't get the message told him to go away and think about it and also not call other escorts with similar nonsense or they would not be best pleased. Anyway, he's blocked.

My phone also cut out and rebooted while a first timer called me. My phone didn't save his number so I couldn't message him back.

My last call messaged me while he was on the way saying the ATM had swallowed hs card. This is always possible but he's being marked as a timewaster. At least he wasn't a look and go using the excuse he forgot to go to the ATM on the way.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 29 September 2021, 02:04:51 pm
Thursday 18th March :
11:46 Him: hi bb 30 mins oral French kiss bb
13:08 Him: Hi Bb plz cancel my booking I am at work I will let you know when next timing thx bb.

Me: you didn’t have a booking 😂
Him: ok bb thx

Wednesday 28th September :
Him: hi bb you have my booking available today plz thx

………. Like yeah buddy I kept it warm for you ?! 😂 🤦🏻‍♀️
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 29 September 2021, 10:56:03 pm
Quote from: EveEveEve on 29 September 2021, 02:04:51 pm
...
Wednesday 28th September :
Him: hi bb you have my booking available today plz thx

………. Like yeah buddy I kept it warm for you ?! 😂 🤦🏻‍♀️
Haha! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 30 September 2021, 08:52:52 pm
some of these really make me worry for us as women and them..

Him: Hi XXX can you do owo bj for 50 thanks (My half hour rate is £70)
Me: Piss off
Him: Fuck you slut you old bitch
Me: Lovely. Jog on incel

Immediately after on a different number, but clearly the same twat

Him: Hi can you lick my balls for 10 quid
Me: You again. Get a hobby mate seriously

Next time someone asks me for something I'm going to say.. "No but if you come over I'll stab you in the face for free"  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady Frog on 01 October 2021, 12:34:14 pm
Having just started aw again, I forgot the sheer entertainment value of that site  :angel:


HI I saw your profile

Im Italian, 38 good locking, tanned ,educated , nice tool and looking for to have some fun. Happy to meet for a few drinks and them you can decide if you want to get me to your bed or not.

If you think you could be interesting you can whatapp me on 123456789
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 01 October 2021, 06:05:20 pm
Lol, he is a tool all right  ::)

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PinkestChick on 02 October 2021, 01:53:12 pm
I can't stand it when they pepper me with texts -

Him: Hi Babe
Him: You free?
Him: Can I see you?
Him: Fine don't answer
Him: Just checking to see if I could make a booking

All in the space of 2 mins at 2:30 am. In the morning I see it so I say "If someone doesn't answer your calls and texts at 2:30 am why would you assume they are ignoring you and not asleep?" To which he then told me I had a bad attitude and he won't be seeing me.

Yeah you won't be seeing me but that's not by your choice pal  :FF Honestly
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 02 October 2021, 02:01:49 pm
Of course you meant to be ready 24/7 in their dumb minds
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 02 October 2021, 03:40:45 pm
A call today was in a hurry to know where I was located and when I was available. This always rings alarm bells in my head. I'd got up late so bumped him to 2pm and he was "Ok"and stuff and rang off. I really hate these kinds of calls like they're a just in town for the moment fuck and run, or not sincere about a booking and just going through the motions.

Before the pandemic most sincere clients would be happy with any time arrangement as they were into me. Post-pandemic  I'm not getting a lot of calls like this. They're mostly flakey calls.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jadine on 04 October 2021, 08:42:24 pm
Met this tosser months ago , everytime he wants see me I’m busy doing other stuff , he ignored my last message months ago when I was unable to see him , he messages today before 6am on about my phone number could he have it again ? as reckoned he lost it ( more like deleted ) says he  see me in a few days , I went out and the silly bastards messaged if can see me ? I explained I was out and could do this afternoon, ignored me again , can’t be doing with ignorant pricks , his now blocked .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 17 October 2021, 05:09:23 pm
Email
Hi I know you dont offer escort bookings but could you do mummy roleplay and could I be a regular ..
The most ridiculous message ever
I only offer phone chat  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jadine on 18 October 2021, 05:38:56 pm
Guarantee whenever I’m sat about I don’t get much emails only off dickheads then as soon as I decide to go out the genuine sounding ones  always want to see me ,  instead of messaging first thing they expect you to see them just like that , I did one I managed to get with a cancellation appointment elsewhere then lost out on another 3 punters  one whose a regular , can bet when I stay in tomorrow it be dead  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 21 October 2021, 10:57:14 pm
Had quite a few this week but I won't bore the tits off everyone..

Him: Hiya have seen your profile and pictures nipples, wow
Me: Thanks I think. Did you want a booking?
Him: Hi just in the bath call u soon
Me: I don't take calls it's text only
Him: May I ask if you're married please
Me: None of your business I'm afraid
Him: ?
Me: My personal life has nothing to do with you
Him: Silence
Me: And you're blocked. Buh bye

I have a feeling this guy contacted me on AW a while ago saying he only saw single girls, idiot..

This one I admit to being on a wind up because usually a "Hey" gets met with a block...

Him: Hey
Me: Can I help you?
Him: Maybe
Me: Well do you want a booking?
Him: I do need to see someone
Me: Well you're not going to get far without supplying the basic information required
Him: Which is
Me: Seriously? What do you think it is? Take a wild guess
Him: Sorry I know address and time but I like knowing what the meet is like and what you enjoy
Me: Piss off you timewaster

Any my favourite bricky misogynist came back to brighten my day on a different number..

Rings me and I ignore
Me: Text only thanks
Him: Hi hun ime Phil ime 56i need cheering up I think you can do it xx
Me: (I recognised his text style immediately) You a bricky?
Him: Yes
Me: New number then? You got amnesia about our last conversation where you said "Fuck me you smart arse Fuck do one" Now you're blocked on this number too. Tootles
Him: Nice girl
Me: Luckily I couldn't give a shiny shit what you, or anyone else thinks of me. Have a nice life
Him: Whois this
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 23 October 2021, 04:44:37 pm
What kind of fool am I?
Another man in his 60s just big fat-ass, ignoring clear instructions.

Me spoken call -'ring at 3.30 to confirm'
Him spoken call- 'ok, 3.30.'
He texts at 11.00 this morning confirming his 4.00 booking.

That's not what I told him or how I arrange bookings. But some pepe's create their own booking system and impose on us.

It's no use to me. I text him to confirm at 3.30. send him 2 texts clarifying this and say if he can't do that let me know. He texts ok.

I've given this simple instruction to this pepe three times now.
But having teeny weeny doubts he's paying close  attention.

So 3.30 I'm doing other fun stuff away from my place as I never get ready till they're at my landmark. He rings at 3.50 saying he's at X tube and will be 10 minutes late. That's with a time-machine, cause I know the tube map and it's a 20 minute journey.

By this time I'm toddling home for some decaff and hobnobs.
If they can't follow simple instructions not my probs.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 26 October 2021, 11:19:59 am
Had a returner try to book this morning. At the time of the booking he texts to say he's running 10mins late.

Wouldn't have minded but he'd texted 10mins before the booking too, to confirm location. Needless to say he was binned and is never welcome back
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 29 October 2021, 08:12:32 pm
How these randoms speak is quite chaffing and I'm not tolerating their blokey language very well.

Random-Where are you?
Me-Where are you?
Random-I'm in ----fordshire so I want to know if it's worth driving up. Cause if you're in (area) ...it's not. :)

A bit of positive rewording might oil the wheels a tiny weeny bit. I'm always worth seeing.
I told him to ring back in an minute and blocked him.



Posh sounding chimp enquiring for a 15 minute booking. It's a very basic, cheap popular service explained fully on my website. No need for a big formal interview about it.

Chimp-I see you do XYZ.
Me-Yes I do.
Chimp- I want to know if it's something you actually enjoy. :)
Me-Look, you are aware I'm a professional escort not a prospective girlfriend? I'm not going to discuss my sexual preferences with you.
Chimp-Oh... :-[ I see  :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Maz on 30 October 2021, 10:42:36 am
Quote from: saltysweet on 29 October 2021, 08:12:32 pm

Posh sounding chimp enquiring for a 15 minute booking. It's a very basic, cheap popular service explained fully on my website. No need for a big formal interview about it.

That sounds like me with my spank sessions. All they're doing is coming to slap someone's backside. Hardly the need to have a detailed discussion.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 30 October 2021, 11:58:19 am
Quote
Are you available for an evening date either next Friday or Saturday?

I’m a respectful African American guy former college athlete now in the corporate world. I’m in my 30s.

I’m very attracted physically to beautiful mature classy women.

Hopefully we can agree the details.

I can forward a few pics if you'd like.

Regards

******
Xx

Superficially, there is nothing wrong with this, however, it came through to my email and I was able to tell immediately it was a cut & paste message. Also, I have never used the word 'classy' in any of my advertising, and given there are zero pictures of my face anywhere online, it is somewhat presumptuous for him to call me 'beautiful', not least because this is another word I have never attributed to myself.

Mostly though, when are (some) men going to understand they must supply actual details such as time, location, duration/what kind of booking in their initial comms, particularly when this information is requested from me at the outset.

Oh, and what is it about wanting to send pictures? This is the third message in as many days where the sender wants to send me pictures of himself. This isn't dating, I don't really care what you look like!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 30 October 2021, 08:48:07 pm
Quote from: Miffy on 30 October 2021, 11:58:19 am
Superficially, there is nothing wrong with this

There is, though. The obvious copy and paste, the reference to a 'date' instead of incall/outcall/booking, the stupid platitudes and the spurious crap about himself without any of the useful or necessary information you mention. Did he remember to fill your name in with a greeting when he sent it?

Unfortunately I think the illegality of punting/prostitution in the US fosters messages like this because they think they'll cover their tracks by making it sound like online dating. I used to get them by the barrel load when I worked in New York, and often longer and more detailed (including everything from age and ethnic background - neither of which I care about, but I appreciate that some people do - to height, eye colour, hobbies and interests and even tastes in art, music and so on). And never with any mention of what day/time they wanted to book and for how long; I added this requirement to my ads and took to just binning anything that arrived without it, and still they popped up several times a day.

When I get these here they always seem to be punters from the US too, so I reckon that's it - this neediness and attention seeking plus the inability to follow simple instructions (talking over me when trying to give directions on the phone and ignoring everything I say anyway because they MUST know better) has put me off them to the extent that if I see an American number calling I now think twice before I answer my phone.

I've taken down my email from my site but I know that won't work for you. Maybe a fabulously passive-aggressive autoreply? :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 30 October 2021, 11:06:28 pm
As it happens, somewhat surprisingly, he did use my name. That, or rather, 'Hey Miffy' were the only words present in his email. Underneath were three dots which I know only too well means a forwarded email.

I agree with what you've said about prostitution in the US, so I do tend to give them a little dispensation. However that said, I find those who are serious about seeing me use the contact form on my website, having devoured my website. The guy I mention in my OP contacted me directly from the ad, he didn't even bother looking at my website which was a huge red flag as my ad clearly states all new clients must contact me via my website. I guess listing my email is a good way of weeding out those who can't follow instructions. And that for me is what it is all about - someone following my processes.

I did give him the option of making contact via the form, however, I was met with the following response:

Quote
I’m a normal guy. I was an athlete now I’m in the corporate world. I still stay in great shape physically. I love women and I respect them immensely. That’s my story.

So, what have I done? Well, I told him Tinder might be a better option. As for my email, it is now no longer listed anywhere online, including my site. Contact can only be made through a form. Tbh, this is probably for the best although it means that I may be missing out on more men wanting to send my their pictures. This is a cross I shall have to bear!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 31 October 2021, 02:35:34 am
Quote
'I would love you to play the role of my girlfriend/wife who just loves fucking huge black guys infront of me! Acting like my slut wife and telling the black guys to punch me as they fuck you!'

 ;D Simple pleasures.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 01 November 2021, 07:24:00 pm
Subject: Booking**
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Babe,
I now get there on business a few times a month and looking for a nice genuine girl i can rely on to play with on a regular basis and your page got my attention.
I'm a honest,genuine and professional exec white guy,still slim and toned,well groomed and always make an effort to be fresh and clean, I'm a genuine 8"-9" and enjoys a nice mutual suck n fuck play time with a responsive and willing submissive companion and enjoys Domination & BDSM !!!
I stay in a very nice private apartment when i'm there.

Does your fee cover everything on your enjoys list ?

Looking forward to hearing back from you soon and arranging some fun

xx



Yeah, it caught his attention so much that he completely missed the first two lines repeated on every tab stating what information to send when contacting me. I don't give a shit about any of what he sent me, only what he didn't send.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 01 November 2021, 07:35:09 pm
^^

I am convinced that message has appeared in this thread before!

Quote
a nice mutual suck n fuck play time


This phrase is the worst.

I sometimes wonder if men who send messages like that actually have any success in getting an escort to respond in the affirmative?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 01 November 2021, 08:54:21 pm

They seem to think we want to read that sort of message to get them booked!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady Frog on 01 November 2021, 11:51:36 pm
I've had this one as well, I'm a touring escort so 'there' as a location just made me laugh  ::)

I absolutely can't stand it when people refer to sex as 'fun', no doubt this word gets used in other contexts as well like tinder and so on, but I just can't fucking stand it. People who use it are always insufferable too. Maybe they say it because deep down they know that having sex with  them is a soul destroying and horrible experience so they think they have to make it sound better so you will agree to doing it. Yuck

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 03 November 2021, 04:38:37 pm
Quote from: Lady Frog on 01 November 2021, 11:51:36 pm
I've had this one as well, I'm a touring escort so 'there' as a location just made me laugh  ::)

I absolutely can't stand it when people refer to sex as 'fun', no doubt this word gets used in other contexts as well like tinder and so on, but I just can't fucking stand it. People who use it are always insufferable too. Maybe they say it because deep down they know that having sex with  them is a soul destroying and horrible experience so they think they have to make it sound better so you will agree to doing it. Yuck

I had 1 refer to it as “irresistible” the other day🤦🏼‍♀️. I was asking what time frame he’d like, 60 or 90 minutes, & he said 60 but with the option of extending to 90 “if we found each other irresistible.”

I thought, “That ain’t happening honey, but if it makes you book the longer appointment, fine!”
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 03 November 2021, 07:14:52 pm
Quote from: Lady Frog on 01 November 2021, 11:51:36 pm

I absolutely can't stand it when people refer to sex as 'fun', no doubt this word gets used in other contexts as well like tinder and so on, but I just can't fucking stand it.
Yep, same and the word 'Play' too. Drives me nuts.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 03 November 2021, 07:22:21 pm
Quote from: Nadya on 03 November 2021, 07:14:52 pm
Yep, same and the word 'Play' too. Drives me nuts.

That's the one that makes me get the little bit of sick in mouth too. Yes, let's conflate something that children do with having sex :-X.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady Frog on 03 November 2021, 09:23:49 pm
Quote from: amy on 03 November 2021, 07:22:21 pm
That's the one that makes me get the little bit of sick in mouth too. Yes, let's conflate something that children do with having sex :-X.

Exactly. Makes me feel like I'm getting creeped on by a sex offender  even though I'm a grown bloody woman  :-X :FF

Quote from: CelesteManchester on 03 November 2021, 04:38:37 pm
“if we found each other irresistible.”

lolll celeste I hope this was by phone or email so the poor sod didn't get his feelings hurt when you spat your drink out laughing  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 04 November 2021, 12:33:56 pm
I'm coming across a bunch more callers who seem to be like hampsters running on their own little conversation loops, not listening or understanding simple questions. But sometimes I play with them to improve my phone skills >:D

I saw a missed call. I text him that he can ring back.

He seemed to have 2 questions only.
Random- 'I'm at the xxx hotel can you come?'
Me- 'Yes'  :)
Random-'What time can you come?'
Me- 'What time would you like me to come?'  :)

This put him in a convo-loop as he wants me to specify the time. My question seems irrelevant to him. So he starts the loop again four times.

Then he asks if he 'has' to give me his room number. I bite my tongue and say 'yes'.

Ok, so he has an interesting if annoying way of communicating. I'm not gonna see him as I don't think I could stay in a room 2 minutes with him before walking out, but I answer politely to see how long till this conversation dissolves.

I ring his hotel thinking he's a waster and suprise, suprise! reception puts me through. He takes it off the hook.

A second later text arrives - 'Please cancel booking, bad attitude  >:('
30 year old adult, ego fragile as eggshells, makes date with his hand tonight.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 04 November 2021, 01:32:01 pm
What an irritating waste of time!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 04 November 2021, 01:44:18 pm
Yes Kiss happening daily ;D I was accidentally 15 minutes from him too ;D
I also wanted to test if I was being too harsh on callers, that's why I continued.

Previously I'd just put the phone down, I think that works best now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 06 November 2021, 02:48:50 pm
Do you want free plumbing work?

By someone who had phoned telling me he is nervous a few weeks ago.

Also having ongoing problems with punters who can't stipulate what they want, start conversation with a roundabout question.

Rather than 'can you do a outcall/incall /phone chat/webcam at such a time for such a duration'.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 07 November 2021, 10:11:21 am
Quote from: Mirror on 06 November 2021, 02:48:50 pm

Also having ongoing problems with punters who can't stipulate what they want, start conversation with a roundabout question.

Rather than 'can you do a outcall/incall /phone chat/webcam at such a time for such a duration'.

I can't remember the last time I received a message including what time and duration they wanted.
Still get "are you available later?"  when it clearly states on my profile that I am working that particular day and that's even from clients I've seen numerous times and should know better. Then you have to drag every detail from them.
I just think that when they're horny their brain doesn't function properly.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 07 November 2021, 12:38:01 pm
Quote from: fallen angel on 07 November 2021, 10:11:21 am
I can't remember the last time I received a message including what time and duration they wanted.
Still get "are you available later?"  when it clearly states on my profile that I am working that particular day and that's even from clients I've seen numerous times and should know better. Then you have to drag every detail from them.
I just think that when they're horny their brain doesn't function properly.

Or every detail comes in a series of single line texts.

Quite a few fantastic regulars are great they ask specifically, we get a booking arranged in one short call or couple of SMS text messages.

Perhaps 3 per month new clients will make a clear call or email, full details which is incredibly refreshing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 07 November 2021, 03:51:19 pm
Quote from: Mirror on 07 November 2021, 12:38:01 pm
Or every detail comes in a series of single line texts.

This winds me up so much. I have one reg who is so easy in the actual booking and that's the only reason I haven't binned him. He is so frustrating during the booking process as he asks a question per text instead of sending it all in one and sometimes asks the same thing several times when I have already answered. I've now started waiting until he has sent several questions and then replying to all of his questions in one text back. He still sends a few more but it has narrowed it down considerably.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 07 November 2021, 11:29:31 pm
So I get this after he’s done with screening🤦🏼‍♀️. AFTER.

'Thanks but I'm going to have to cancel.  I am now uncomfortable that I provided all of that information to you, Celeste.  Normally a phone call is enough. You requiring more suddenly makes me nervous. Best of luck and have a good day."

Since I have all your info, you fuckwad, why not just come for the goddamn visit?? I felt like telling him I was going to write his information all over every⛽️station bathroom🚽wall I could find🙄🙄. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 08 November 2021, 07:16:08 am
Celeste
What did he think you were FBI!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 08 November 2021, 09:43:42 am
When they text you enquiring 'Are you open?'.

FFS!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milkymoo26 on 08 November 2021, 12:17:00 pm
Ugh the below one irks me. I usually can't help myself and say no but your mom is. And block them haha.

Or

How much :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 08 November 2021, 01:07:53 pm
Quote from: Lushblossom on 08 November 2021, 09:43:42 am
When they text you enquiring 'Are you open?'.

FFS!

Haha I got that one too ... Like we are a highstreet store!?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 08 November 2021, 01:13:21 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 07 November 2021, 03:51:19 pm
This winds me up so much. I have one reg who is so easy in the actual booking and that's the only reason I haven't binned him. He is so frustrating during the booking process as he asks a question per text instead of sending it all in one and sometimes asks the same thing several times when I have already answered. I've now started waiting until he has sent several questions and then replying to all of his questions in one text back. He still sends a few more but it has narrowed it down considerably.  :FF

I had one like this too, in the end I had to bin him for my own sanity.
To add insult to injury, very often after going through all that he would then cancel.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mimi_ on 08 November 2021, 08:05:31 pm
Oh the separate texts for everything winds me up too, soooo much! Particularly as I use the shittest 'graft' phone available and I have to manually delete texts to save space. I have a love/hate relationship with my cheap nokia but this behaviour makes my ears steam! BASTARDS!!!  ;D

The "You workin?" - which is common in Liverpool - always gets the same reply from me...

"Did you mean hello?!"

9 times out of 10 I get a very quick apology and a proper text but it used to wind me up no end! Maybe I'm finally maturing  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 09 November 2021, 06:30:52 pm
Quote from: fallen angel on 08 November 2021, 01:07:53 pm
Haha I got that one too ... Like we are a highstreet store!?
That always pissed me off..
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 09 November 2021, 07:03:46 pm
I miss the old days when someone would say hello how are you? I was hoping for an hour at this time, is that possible? Where did all the decent human beings go?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 12 November 2021, 06:17:46 pm
I've started  replying to the most stupid emails recently with
Why did you email me ?
It's a shame I cant make a fortune from all the dumb emails I receive

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jadine on 12 November 2021, 06:45:41 pm
Kiss
I thought it was only me
Just like you I get the same every week and it pisses me off how many idiots I get stupid messages and how I could be loaded with money  the emails of interest but always the wrong people constantly.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 12 November 2021, 06:56:30 pm
Solid gold text today:

'Have I got the right number?'

That was it. How the fuck would I know  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 12 November 2021, 07:42:03 pm
^^I rarely lol, but this made me do exactly that! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 12 November 2021, 08:40:03 pm
Quote from: Jadine on 12 November 2021, 06:45:41 pm
Kiss
I thought it was only me
Just like you I get the same every week and it pisses me off how many idiots I get stupid messages and how I could be loaded with money  the emails of interest but always the wrong people constantly.
Hey if they had to pay for the emails they sent many wouldnt .
Their stupid crap wouldnt come our way
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 12 November 2021, 11:32:21 pm
Quote from: amy on 12 November 2021, 06:56:30 pm
Solid gold text today:

'Have I got the right number?'

That was it. How the fuck would I know  ???

That's hilarious!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mimi_ on 14 November 2021, 03:10:42 pm
Quote from: amy on 12 November 2021, 06:56:30 pm
Solid gold text today:

'Have I got the right number?'
That was it. How the fuck would I know  ???

Yes, it's the GUM clinic...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Northwestraven on 14 November 2021, 08:12:26 pm
“I wanna cum in that pussy”

Such a way with words

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Boudoir on 14 November 2021, 09:19:26 pm
Complete stranger wanting to book: "So I see you do roleplay and I have an idea about what I'd like"

Me : "Assuming you've read the type I do on my profile, which are you wanting?"

Complete stranger: " It's not one you've got on there but what I'd like is for me to come into your hotel room as if I'm a workman needing to fix something. You need to go down to Reception for something and leave me alone in your room for a few minutes. When you come back you catch me going through your underwear and sniffing it"

Me: "Yes sure, I'll give you maybe 5 minutes? Should be long enough to find my cash, phone, car keys and laptop shouldn't it?"  : ::) :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 15 November 2021, 08:31:28 am
The roleplay he really wanted was to come to your hotel room and take all you belongings.
Which isn't happening.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 15 November 2021, 09:56:14 am
"fancy a pint later" from a complete random.

I like to think someone gave them a sex workers number off the internet instead of their own.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Boudoir on 15 November 2021, 11:36:21 am
Quote from: Kiss on 15 November 2021, 08:31:28 am
The roleplay he really wanted was to come to your hotel room and take all you belongings.
Which isn't happening.

My thoughts entirely!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 15 November 2021, 01:41:41 pm
I have a better idea Dandelion! How about you tie yourself up, along with blindfolding yourself, & just let him come in the room that way? That’s a much better plan! 🙄🙄

Christ on a SIDECAR.🪓
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nachos on 16 November 2021, 09:50:47 am
"Hi, I am new to the area and hoping to find a girl to see on a weekly basis. Would you give me a half-price special for my first booking, then we can discuss our long term arrangement?"

Urrm no comment 🤐😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 16 November 2021, 09:54:26 am
When they text you. ' Hello. I saw your advert.'. Nothing else!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nachos on 16 November 2021, 09:54:39 am
Quote from: amy on 12 November 2021, 06:56:30 pm
Solid gold text today:

'Have I got the right number?'

That was it. How the fuck would I know  ???

This has got to be at the hall of fame! Priceless! 😂😂😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PinkR2021 on 16 November 2021, 08:15:01 pm
When the texts you get are:
“Sex??” (That was it. Followed by “!!!” When I failed to get the hint)
“Where can I get cocaine from?” ( Like I would know!)
“Can I watch another guy service you?” (Service makes me think of animals for some reason)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: mimi_ on 17 November 2021, 01:35:28 pm
Quote from: PinkR2021 on 16 November 2021, 08:15:01 pm
When the texts you get are:
“Sex??” (That was it. Followed by “!!!” When I failed to get the hint)
“Where can I get cocaine from?” ( Like I would know!)
“Can I watch another guy service you?” (Service makes me think of animals for some reason)

Ooh you're getting the real charmers - save some for the rest of us!!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 17 November 2021, 04:11:51 pm
Quote from: nachos on 16 November 2021, 09:50:47 am
"Hi, I am new to the area and hoping to find a girl to see on a weekly basis. Would you give me a half-price special for my first booking, then we can discuss our long term arrangement?"

Urrm no comment 🤐😂

I’ve gotten the same thing & I replied I was happy to. What he’d need to do is pay 3 months upfront for whatever amount of visits he’d like & we’d be good to go!

Much outrage ensued😁.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Pinky123 on 17 November 2021, 05:19:09 pm
A message from AW the other day 'Will go to a bare knuckle fight with me. I love girls that like fighting' wtf
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 17 November 2021, 10:14:29 pm
I actually had one this week who thought "Oi oi!" was an acceptable opening for a booking. Like wtaf?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 18 November 2021, 09:14:16 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 17 November 2021, 10:14:29 pm
I actually had one this week who thought "Oi oi!" was an acceptable opening for a booking. Like wtaf?

Poetry from the mouth of a scholar and a gentleman.

Probably referring to his Savaloy!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KirstyKiss on 18 November 2021, 09:54:27 pm
Offer a £1000 painting, a mobile worth £600 and a telly in lieu of a £40 hand job.

Thankfully my friend ain't stupid  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 19 November 2021, 08:09:30 am
Message in Adultseek, had to log in to read it.

'Doing tomorrow'

 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 21 November 2021, 09:24:39 am
First words telephone call;

Him:Are you available?

Me:No

Him:That's a waste of time isn't it?

Me:Yes

Ho hum  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 21 November 2021, 02:45:23 pm
Quote from: Mirror on 21 November 2021, 09:24:39 am
First words telephone call;

Him:Are you available?

Me:No

Him:That's a waste of time isn't it?

Me:Yes

Ho hum  ::)

Incredible! We're the unpaid foil for their bad temper.
Monty Python 'Argument Sketch' sketch applies...


A man walks into an office.
Man: 'I'd like to book an argument.' :D

Receptionist: I see. Well, do you want to have the full argument, or were you thinking of taking a course? :)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 22 November 2021, 12:34:29 am
Quote from: Dandelion on 14 November 2021, 09:19:26 pm
...
Complete stranger: "...as if I'm a workman needing to fix something. You need to go down to Reception for something and leave me alone in your room for a few minutes. When you come back you catch me going through your underwear and sniffing it"

Me: "Yes sure, I'll give you maybe 5 minutes? Should be long enough to find my cash, phone, car keys and laptop shouldn't it?" : ::) :FF
Lol 💯
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 22 November 2021, 12:35:03 am
Quote from: saltysweet on 21 November 2021, 02:45:23 pm
Incredible! We're the unpaid foil for their bad temper.
Monty Python 'Argument Sketch' sketch applies...


A man walks into an office.
Man: 'I'd like to book an argument.' :D

Receptionist: I see. Well, do you want to have the full argument, or were you thinking of taking a course? :)
Haha!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 22 November 2021, 01:35:42 am
 ;) Braziliana
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 23 November 2021, 11:42:09 am
Random Grinch- Available tonight? postcode?  :(

Me- If English isn't your first language please contact a provider who speaks your language. :)

Random Grinch- Sorry I didn't know I required an essay to book. Maybe put that on your profile to avoid further confusion :(

Curious how he switches from lazy-ass texting to full sentences when pulled up on his rudeness. Horny and angry at the same time. Guess he made a date with his hand last night tho.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 23 November 2021, 04:35:06 pm
And yet Salty, I’ve had TWO in the last 2 days write the equivalent of goddamn War & PEACE telling me what they want, so as y’all say, yeah mate, a short paragraph isn’t really asking a lot🙄.

War & Peace, I’m telling you.🤦🏼‍♀️
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 23 November 2021, 06:58:25 pm
Hey Celeste my girl! Those novelist types, did you see them in the end?
I assume they get off on the writing and would pop in  3 seconds if they turn up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 23 November 2021, 08:50:00 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 18 November 2021, 09:14:16 pm
Poetry from the mouth of a scholar and a gentleman.

Probably referring to his Savaloy!

I doubt he could actually spell scholar, much less be one SS :p
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 24 November 2021, 10:28:49 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 23 November 2021, 06:58:25 pm
Hey Celeste my girl! Those novelist types, did you see them in the end?
I assume they get off on the writing and would pop in  3 seconds if they turn up.

No 😇pie🥧, both times what they wanted was waaaay too pistachio for my vanilla ass😉. Should’ve sent’em round to you, bwahhhhhhh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 25 November 2021, 04:28:48 pm
New enquiry (never emailed before)
How much for regular 1hr a week bookings oh but he can't maintain an erection with a condom on following prostate cancer so it will have to be without a condom. I replied with something along the lines of he is disgusting to suggest bareback as well as a discount and have some respect!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 25 November 2021, 05:02:06 pm
Him - hot body love incall
Me - no thank you
Him - incall now
Me - no thank you
Him - wey (think he meant why)
Me - because you can't string a coherent sentence together
Him - cunt, go get a ventilator down your throat slag
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 25 November 2021, 08:13:53 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 25 November 2021, 05:02:06 pm
Him - hot body love incall
Me - no thank you
Him - incall now
Me - no thank you
Him - wey (think he meant why)
Me - because you can't string a coherent sentence together
Him - cunt, go get a ventilator down your throat slag

This belongs in the new age dictionary of C19 insults surely?
This is what I've been saying. They use 'me-so-horny-text-spk' in their undisclosed role play with us then suddenly turn into the Bill Shakespear once you reject them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 25 November 2021, 08:54:20 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 25 November 2021, 08:13:53 pm
This belongs in the new age dictionary of C19 insults surely?
This is what I've been saying. They use 'me-so-horny-text-spk' in their undisclosed role play with us then suddenly turn into the Bill Shakespear once you reject them.

That was AW emails, pretty sure he text me after I started advertising my number. It was similar incoherrently phrased texts, promptly blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissWolf on 25 November 2021, 11:54:19 pm
Him..you working at all....(I'm on tour with my light on)
Me..hi yes I am but only have 1 available booking at 4pm for up to 90 mins x
Him..free now
Me..no I told you my free time

Next morning at 7.30am

Him..outcall
M..can you not type more than one word at a time, string a sentence together and give me something to work with like time, location,  duration and I might answer more favorably
Him..looking for HR outcall in Bristol say 11am
Me..I don't have any availability till after 4pm
Him..4pm OK
Him..I booked
Him..?? (I was with a client)
Me..sorry I have incalls booked in now and don't have a window long enough, take care
Him..???
Me..I'm fully booked
Him..when
Me..I'm not taking a booking from you sorry  I'm not comfortable with your communication and I leave tomorrow,  take care
Him..tw yes babe you've bad review
Me.. I don't have a single bad review lol now kindly go away
Him..you have now
Me..crack on luv
Him..yes 1 bad one

Reported to aw for threats and still waiting for the bad review lol
Yes I know I gave him too many chances to begin and should have just blocked but sometimes you just bite  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 26 November 2021, 12:23:32 am
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 24 November 2021, 10:28:49 pm
No 😇pie🥧, both times what they wanted was waaaay too pistachio for my vanilla ass😉. Should’ve sent’em round to you, bwahhhhhhh.

pistachio!!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marcie on 26 November 2021, 01:03:51 am
These are the kind of email's I'm getting...

1. Will you fart in my face?  :FF 

2. Can you lift me up

3. Hey gorgeous, text me

4. Reading.............( yep, that's all I got )

5. Will you throw custard pies in my face  :FF 

Such wordsmiths....really........I'm spoilt for choice! Great time to get back into escorting!  ;D

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 26 November 2021, 11:30:27 am
TLDR Email
Basically would I sit on his face for 12 hrs overnight and not get up. Did I have any BBW friends who would join me to sit on him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: thickthighs on 26 November 2021, 12:12:46 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 26 November 2021, 11:30:27 am
TLDR Email
Basically would I sit on his face for 12 hrs overnight and not get up. Did I have any BBW friends who would join me to sit on him.

Hahaha I’m a BBW and free lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: thickthighs on 26 November 2021, 12:13:44 pm
Quote from: Marcie on 26 November 2021, 01:03:51 am
These are the kind of email's I'm getting...

1. Will you fart in my face?  :FF 

2. Can you lift me up

3. Hey gorgeous, text me

4. Reading.............( yep, that's all I got )

5. Will you throw custard pies in my face  :FF 

Such wordsmiths....really........I'm spoilt for choice! Great time to get back into escorting!  ;D

Number two I keep seeing on the reverse bookings I mean what does he actually want you to do a Firemans carry? Intrigued
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 26 November 2021, 12:30:36 pm
Quote from: thickthighs on 26 November 2021, 12:13:44 pm
Number two I keep seeing on the reverse bookings I mean what does he actually want you to do a Firemans carry? Intrigued

I had number 1
I had number 2 as well. Yes they have a strong-girl/girl wrestler or bodybuilder fantasy.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PinkR2021 on 26 November 2021, 12:31:49 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 26 November 2021, 11:30:27 am
TLDR Email
Basically would I sit on his face for 12 hrs overnight and not get up. Did I have any BBW friends who would join me to sit on him.
I’ve had this email! Twice. Almost identical. One with feedback and another without.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 26 November 2021, 02:32:02 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 26 November 2021, 12:30:36 pm
I had number 1
I had number 2 as well. Yes they have a strong-girl/girl wrestler or bodybuilder fantasy.

I've had no. 1 and no.5
Some right weirdos about
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 27 November 2021, 10:17:48 am
Quote from: thickthighs on 26 November 2021, 12:12:46 pm
Hahaha I’m a BBW and free lol

I hate face sitting at the best of times. Does nothing for me other than hurt my hips.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 27 November 2021, 07:15:40 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 23 November 2021, 11:42:09 am
Random Grinch- Available tonight? postcode?  :(

Me- If English isn't your first language please contact a provider who speaks your language. :)

Random Grinch- Sorry I didn't know I required an essay to book. Maybe put that on your profile to avoid further confusion :(

Curious how he switches from lazy-ass texting to full sentences when pulled up on his rudeness. Horny and angry at the same time. Guess he made a date with his hand last night tho.
Haha, well said, SS!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 27 November 2021, 07:17:31 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 25 November 2021, 08:13:53 pm
This belongs in the new age dictionary of C19 insults surely?
This is what I've been saying. They use 'me-so-horny-text-spk' in their undisclosed role play with us then suddenly turn into the Bill Shakespear once you reject them.
Haha, exactly, lol!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 27 November 2021, 07:18:12 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 25 November 2021, 05:02:06 pm
Him - hot body love incall
Me - no thank you
Him - incall now
Me - no thank you
Him - wey (think he meant why)
Me - because you can't string a coherent sentence together
Him - cunt, go get a ventilator down your throat slag
??
Lol, what a loser of a guy, haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 27 November 2021, 09:32:11 pm
Quote from: PinkR2021 on 26 November 2021, 12:31:49 pm
I’ve had this email! Twice. Almost identical. One with feedback and another without.

Remember it well - ben Miller's face. It was the 1st email I never responded to. Speechless lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 27 November 2021, 09:37:01 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 17 November 2021, 10:14:29 pm
I actually had one this week who thought "Oi oi!" was an acceptable opening for a booking. Like wtaf?

Got a text tonight 'yo'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 27 November 2021, 10:02:23 pm
New email today
I want to book you for an hour. I would prefer to talk but can't see your number anywhere

This was at 6am this morning.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 28 November 2021, 10:17:38 am
Quote from: Milf-glos on 27 November 2021, 10:02:23 pm
New email today
I want to book you for an hour. I would prefer to talk but can't see your number anywhere

This was at 6am this morning.
But your supposed to be awake 24/7  according to them
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 28 November 2021, 11:27:21 am
Last night 2230 phone call (I turned my green light off at my advertised time of 9pm). I really shouldn't have answered and don't know why I did. He wanted to book me for next Friday (at 2230 on a Saturday night) I gave him a telling off for phoning me outside of working hours. What the hell possessed me to answer I really don't know.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 28 November 2021, 11:28:25 am
Quote from: Kiss on 28 November 2021, 10:17:38 am
But your supposed to be awake 24/7  according to them

Makes me so bloody mad. We're not allowed sleep then?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KirstyKiss on 28 November 2021, 01:04:18 pm
Yes, the 24/7 thing has really annoyed me recently.
I've been really ill all of last week and my profile states I'm not available and the number of texts on my phone saying why won't I pick up, respond etc is infuriating.
Give me a fucking break. Learn to read.
One out the two would be acceptable!
I really don't like men atm  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 28 November 2021, 05:54:30 pm
10 new enquiries today, 9 of which were texters despite my profile repeatedly saying new clients must ring. What the heck is going on?? I'm giving up for the day. Sick of idiots.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 28 November 2021, 05:57:05 pm
Quote from: KBP on 28 November 2021, 01:04:18 pm
Yes, the 24/7 thing has really annoyed me recently.
I've been really ill all of last week and my profile states I'm not available and the number of texts on my phone saying why won't I pick up, respond etc is infuriating.
Give me a fucking break. Learn to read.
One out the two would be acceptable!
I really don't like men atm  :FF

I'm definitely having a 'I hate men' day. Flipping idiots the lot of them. 3 outcall requests for over an hour away despite my profile saying 15 miles from my postal area.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caledonia on 28 November 2021, 08:34:01 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 28 November 2021, 05:54:30 pm
10 new enquiries today, 9 of which were texters despite my profile repeatedly saying new clients must ring. What the heck is going on?? I'm giving up for the day. Sick of idiots.
I have the opposite problem 😂 They just don't read 🤦‍♀️
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 29 November 2021, 03:03:52 pm
Text from new client yesterday (which I ignored as clearly states they must ring)
Hi hun you available?
10 mins later...
??

Blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 29 November 2021, 07:31:23 pm
I want to book you for 11.30 but your hours say you aren't available then. Can I see you at 11.30?

 ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady Frog on 29 November 2021, 09:32:03 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 29 November 2021, 03:03:52 pm
Text from new client yesterday (which I ignored as clearly states they must ring)
Hi hun you available?
10 mins later...
??

Blocked.

When I read through this site before I started as a pro, I saw ladies commenting they hated it when new potential clients text 'hi hun u available' and 'hi babe' and so on. I wondered why they hated it so much as it didn't seem that offensive to me. With experience though I realise that 99% of blokes who approach like this are total twats and I hate it now 🤣
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 29 November 2021, 10:19:52 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 29 November 2021, 07:31:23 pm
I want to book you for 11.30 but your hours say you aren't available then. Can I see you at 11.30?

 ::) ::) ::)

Totally.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 29 November 2021, 10:20:37 pm
Quote from: Lady Frog on 29 November 2021, 09:32:03 pm
When I read through this site before I started as a pro, I saw ladies commenting they hated it when new potential clients text 'hi hun u available' and 'hi babe' and so on. I wondered why they hated it so much as it didn't seem that offensive to me. With experience though I realise that 99% of blokes who approach like this are total twats and I hate it now 🤣

If I had £1....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 30 November 2021, 06:27:31 pm
Quote from: Lady Frog on 29 November 2021, 09:32:03 pm
I realise that 99% of blokes who approach like this are total twats and I hate it now 🤣

Every.....single......one.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 30 November 2021, 06:35:21 pm
Email from Rando title "Hey"
"Wanna suck my uncut throbbing black cock"

Me "Not at all"

Not sure what he expected?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 01 December 2021, 11:28:11 pm
Text today... £60, 2 cum in 30 minutes.... my rates start at £80.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 02 December 2021, 03:02:49 am
Sometimes callers ring in such a mad hurry, it's quite off-putting. Not a second wasted on niceties.
They also speak so fast it's obvious they've left no time for a 'normal' convo.

And if you don't answer quick they get arsy.
So I speak as slow as possible which pisses them off.

( No 'thanks' or 'please' from the caller in this convo at all.)
Random-Where are you?
Me-Near xxx

(Presses quite hard for location.)
Random-Where are you exactly?

(I just cut to the chase as he sounds far too busy and hyper)
Me-I'm not interested in you. (I put the phone down)

Random texts back-Odd  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 02 December 2021, 06:06:45 pm
Salty, I always say, “Earth!🌎 Welcome!” 😂😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 02 December 2021, 08:04:34 pm
Yay to that Celeste, alternate reality for sure.
I get more accurate, honest and pleasant responses from callers doing coke and crack than 'normies'.
Normies seem to have adopted this phrase - 'never mind' a lot over the past months.

Today this white bread caller rang.

Random- I'd like to see you
Me-Where are you?
Random-London ???
Me-Where are you?
Random-London ???
Me-Where are you?
Random-London ???
Me-Where are you?
Random-London, oh never mind :( . (he puts phone down)

90 minutes later-I've travelled from west to east London, done my shopping, searched for a computer keyboard, bought some phone top ups, made my dinner now sat at home.

Random- Did you mean, 'where are you in London?' :)

Me-You hung up on me so call another provider.

Random-Actually I did not :( I was trying to ask in another way. I think you ended the conversation. But never mind. Sorry for the confusion. I have lost your details now. I am in victoria.

Me-You said, 'never mind' and ended the conversation. I abide by what you said.

Random-I meant 'never mind' the question you were asking I understand now. (gibberish???)

Me-Excellent glad you understand.

Random-I am in victoria.

Blocked for life.

I can't make head or tail of his reasoning...and life's too short. It's taken 90 minutes for him to understand the question, re-write history, and he still thinks he's in for a chance to get his winkle twiddled! My pork chop supper is calling.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 03 December 2021, 09:32:33 pm
Salty that's hilarious  ;D

I hate the 'where am I based' texts. Read my profile.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 04 December 2021, 03:11:42 am
 ;D Milf-G dunno how they find one trouser leg in the mornings.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 04 December 2021, 09:59:09 am
Quote from: saltysweet on 04 December 2021, 03:11:42 am
;D Milf-G dunno how they find one trouser leg in the mornings.

Lol quite true
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PinkR2021 on 07 December 2021, 10:31:42 am
Client wants a half an hour booking and asks for a bit of role play. Optimistic but here we go!
Ignores my request to do an AW booking with a phone number until I just stop responding. Finally does a AW booking but puts in an obvious fake number (1234+). I then cancel the booking and he then says he’ll call me as he’s at the location. I refused the booking and wouldn’t accept future ones.
Why can’t they follow instructions? He had 100+ feedback so is not a novice.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 07 December 2021, 12:32:18 pm
Quote from: PinkR2021 on 07 December 2021, 10:31:42 am
Client wants a half an hour booking and asks for a bit of role play. Optimistic but here we go!
Ignores my request to do an AW booking with a phone number until I just stop responding. Finally does a AW booking but puts in an obvious fake number (1234+). I then cancel the booking and he then says he’ll call me as he’s at the location. I refused the booking and wouldn’t accept future ones.
Why can’t they follow instructions? He had 100+ feedback so is not a novice.  :FF

It's probably all fake feedback  ::)

Had one this morning who said he'd got my number from AW. I've not displayed my number there for over a year  ::) Asking too many questions anyway. Just go and read my bloody profile for ffs  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 07 December 2021, 08:14:44 pm
Refused a guy for failing to call (constant texter). He said 'your loss, plenty of other hoars who want his money' then texted 'whores sorry'. Pissed myself laughing at the passive aggressive apology.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 07 December 2021, 08:30:15 pm
Postcode?
FU2

 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Missizzy on 07 December 2021, 08:36:37 pm
If you're going to be insulted, make sure it's by a grammar nazi  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 07 December 2021, 08:52:09 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 07 December 2021, 08:30:15 pm
Postcode?
FU2

 ;D

Him              Do you have a postcode?
Me               No. I live in a castle on top of a mountain

Another Him  Postcode?
Me                Yes I have one
Him               Can I have it?
Me                 No it is mine

Another Him   Postcode. What is it?
Me                 Some letters and numbers which indicate where one may reside             
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 07 December 2021, 09:13:58 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 07 December 2021, 08:14:44 pm
Refused a guy for failing to call (constant texter). He said 'your loss, plenty of other hoars who want his money' then texted 'whores sorry'. Pissed myself laughing at the passive aggressive apology.

 ;D ;D ;D

That's hilarious!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 07 December 2021, 11:29:45 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 07 December 2021, 08:14:44 pm
Refused a guy for failing to call (constant texter). He said 'your loss, plenty of other hoars who want his money' then texted 'whores sorry'. Pissed myself laughing at the passive aggressive apology.

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: nachos on 08 December 2021, 12:24:40 am
Quote from: Justine on 07 December 2021, 08:52:09 pm
Him              Do you have a postcode?
Me               No. I live in a castle on top of a mountain

Another Him  Postcode?
Me                Yes I have one
Him               Can I have it?
Me                 No it is mine

Another Him   Postcode. What is it?
Me                 Some letters and numbers which indicate where one may reside             

Hahaha this cracked me up so much! 😂😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 08 December 2021, 07:38:19 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 07 December 2021, 08:14:44 pm
Refused a guy for failing to call (constant texter). He said 'your loss, plenty of other hoars who want his money' then texted 'whores sorry'. Pissed myself laughing at the passive aggressive apology.
Lol!
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 08 December 2021, 07:39:20 pm
Quote from: Justine on 07 December 2021, 08:52:09 pm
Him              Do you have a postcode?
Me               No. I live in a castle on top of a mountain

Another Him  Postcode?
Me                Yes I have one
Him               Can I have it?
Me                No it is mine

Another Him   Postcode. What is it?
Me                Some letters and numbers which indicate where one may reside             
Haha!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PinkR2021 on 09 December 2021, 03:33:02 pm
Quote from: Gypsy on 07 December 2021, 12:32:18 pm
It's probably all fake feedback  ::)

Had one this morning who said he'd got my number from AW. I've not displayed my number there for over a year  ::) Asking too many questions anyway. Just go and read my bloody profile for ffs  ::)

If they asks bunch of questions, it really puts me off. They must have gotten the number from somewhere which likely includes a list of services. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Harriet_Lille on 09 December 2021, 05:10:53 pm
Them : "R u really pregnant babes?"
Me: "Well I say it in my profile on tje first line, 22 weeks and there are pictures so... What do you think?"

Also:
"do you need a baby daddy?"

Or

"Can i be the dad. Of your next one?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 11 December 2021, 03:07:35 am
Him - What service do you offer
Me - advert refers to that
Him - when are you available
Me - phone for appointments as per advert
Him - you do sex yeah
Me - advert refers to that
Him - you an escort
Me - advert refers to that
Him - ok thanks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cass on 11 December 2021, 08:48:10 am
Quote
Refused a guy for failing to call (constant texter). He said 'your loss, plenty of other hoars who want his money' then texted 'whores sorry'. Pissed myself laughing at the passive aggressive apology.

Love that he's fine dishing out misogynistic abuse but draws the line at bad spelling  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 12 December 2021, 03:21:53 am
Quote from: Cass on 11 December 2021, 08:48:10 am
Love that he's fine dishing out misogynistic abuse but draws the line at bad spelling  ;D
Lol hes even bothered about spelling..that's the least of his worries !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 12 December 2021, 09:05:35 am
Quote from: Cass on 11 December 2021, 08:48:10 am
Love that he's fine dishing out misogynistic abuse but draws the line at bad spelling  ;D

Exactly lol, still giggle about that one
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 12 December 2021, 07:44:16 pm
Latest this evening;

Him Send ur address
Me As if, dickhead
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 12 December 2021, 09:15:09 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 12 December 2021, 07:44:16 pm
Latest this evening;

Him Send ur address
Me As if, dickhead
I used to hate those texts too.
They could get a postcode for the local   kfc !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 12 December 2021, 09:22:03 pm
Quote from: Cass on 11 December 2021, 08:48:10 am
Love that he's fine dishing out misogynistic abuse but draws the line at bad spelling  ;D
Haha!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 12 December 2021, 09:23:00 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 12 December 2021, 07:44:16 pm
Latest this evening;

Him Send ur address
Me As if, dickhead
Haha!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 12 December 2021, 09:41:32 pm
Had a text last night at midnight (was fast asleep by 10pm)
'I'm about 5 miles away, where exactly am I heading to?'
Fucking dickhead. Think I'm getting burnt out. Every. Single. Enquiry. Pisses. Me. Off.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marcie on 12 December 2021, 10:45:10 pm
Quote
Think I'm getting burnt out. Every. Single. Enquiry. Pisses. Me. Off.
lol

Tonight I got really creeped out by this phone call. Maybe it's paranoia?

 ( I only advertise on two platforms )

Me " Where did you see my number"?

Him " dont know but you were top of the search results"
Me " What service were you looking for"?
Him " I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me that"?
Me " I offer BDSM services" ...
Him " Oh, I'm not into that"   :FF  ( All my marketing is about BDSM ) So I'm thinking how the fuck did you get my number?
Me " Ok, so what were you after"?
Him " Not sure can you tell me all the services you offer"  :FF

Me " Ok, if your not into BDSM, what about GFE "
Him " What's GFE"?
Me " The girlfriend experience"
Him " What services does that involve"?

This goes on and on. Eventually I say " As this is an outcall, for security, I'm going to need your landline number"
Him " I dont have one"
Did'nt even ask me how much my hourly rate was, just wanted me to get there. .............

Does anyone else get creeped out by people who just have there number. No idea where they saw your advert. What's the point of spending hours creating content for platforms such as AW when as EveEveEve on Saafe pointed out, no one bloody reads the information ( not even the hourly rates ).
 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 12 December 2021, 11:05:13 pm
I used to get really paranoid Marcie, prior to advertising my number, so if I got a 'are you available' message I got anxious it was a previously blocked stalker. Usually it was them using 2 phones.... getting a lot of 'what are your rates' type phonecalls. I end and block straight away because they're too thick for me. Got a phone call tonight which just went 'how much' when I answered. Not even a hello.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 13 December 2021, 12:20:09 am
Again no please or thank you and will say 'yes' to cut to the chase and get the booking bagged.

Random-When's your next appointment?
Me- 1 minute (He's already told me where he is so I know he can't possibly make it in 60 seconds)
Random- Fine!
Me- You'll be over in one minute then?
Random- Yes!
Me-  Fine I'm in xyz
Random- I'll have to check the travel times from where I am
Me-But you said you'll be her in one minute

He hangs up then seconds later texts -Fuck off

Zero sense of humour, no ability to negotiate, angry and horny at the same time...who wouldn't want to spend an hour alone with this charming man?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 13 December 2021, 08:32:18 am
Quote from: saltysweet on 13 December 2021, 12:20:09 am
Again no please or thank you and will say 'yes' to cut to the chase and get the booking bagged.

Random-When's your next appointment?
Me- 1 minute (He's already told me where he is so I know he can't possibly make it in 60 seconds)
Random- Fine!
Me- You'll be over in one minute then?
Random- Yes!
Me-  Fine I'm in xyz
Random- I'll have to check the travel times from where I am
Me-But you said you'll be her in one minute

He hangs up then seconds later texts -Fuck off

Zero sense of humour, no ability to negotiate, angry and horny at the same time...who wouldn't want to spend an hour alone with this charming man?
Idiots often get upset quite quickly lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HiddenTalents02 on 13 December 2021, 10:22:13 am
Asked to meet and just wank in front of me for a generous £20.
 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 13 December 2021, 11:33:56 am
Quote from: Kiss on 13 December 2021, 08:32:18 am
Idiots often get upset quite quickly lol

So true Kiss  ;D...their impatient inner cretin takes over the booking
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 13 December 2021, 03:45:50 pm
This will make you laugh
Him (first ever text to me) - I want to go there today after 5pm if you want for an hour
Me - go where? If I want?? What planet are you on exactly???
Him - we go where you want you have time to meet today after 5pm pleas
Me - this is not how you book an escort
Him - I try to make an appointment but I don't think I will succeed
Me - clever boy
Him - I don't know if I did the right thing with the book
 I want you to look gorgeous I want you to be long in the pussy I like mature
Me - what a shame, I shaved pussy this morning
Him - I like it and laughed tell me you want to see us today and I will be your client
Me - us? Is there more than one of you or do you have multiple personalities?
Him - you make me laugh if you want to see us waiting for your answer I kiss you in the pussy
Me - is there more than one of you?
Him - I don't understand what you mean
Me - you said 'us' this is a pronoun used by a person to speak about himself and one or more other people.
Him - you are very difficult you don't understand that I want to fuck you to soothe your pussy day yes or no
Him - I finish work after 5pm
Him - ?
Me - what a shame I'm fully booked after 5
Him - crying emoji.

Hilarious
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: blackcherry on 13 December 2021, 04:04:37 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 13 December 2021, 03:45:50 pm
This will make you laugh
Him (first ever text to me) - I want to go there today after 5pm if you want for an hour
Me - go where? If I want?? What planet are you on exactly???
Him - we go where you want you have time to meet today after 5pm pleas
Me - this is not how you book an escort
Him - I try to make an appointment but I don't think I will succeed
Me - clever boy
Him - I don't know if I did the right thing with the book
 I want you to look gorgeous I want you to be long in the pussy I like mature
Me - what a shame, I shaved pussy this morning
Him - I like it and laughed tell me you want to see us today and I will be your client
Me - us? Is there more than one of you or do you have multiple personalities?
Him - you make me laugh if you want to see us waiting for your answer I kiss you in the pussy
Me - is there more than one of you?
Him - I don't understand what you mean
Me - you said 'us' this is a pronoun used by a person to speak about himself and one or more other people.
Him - you are very difficult you don't understand that I want to fuck you to soothe your pussy day yes or no
Him - I finish work after 5pm
Him - ?
Me - what a shame I'm fully booked after 5
Him - crying emoji.

Hilarious

Jesus wept
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 13 December 2021, 04:33:30 pm
Quote from: HiddenTalents02 on 13 December 2021, 10:22:13 am
Asked to meet and just wank in front of me for a generous £20.
 ;D

I mean, why wouldn't you  ;)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 13 December 2021, 06:09:55 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 13 December 2021, 12:20:09 am
Zero sense of humour, no ability to negotiate, angry and horny at the same time...who wouldn't want to spend an hour alone with this charming man?

Quite the dream!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 13 December 2021, 06:12:13 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 13 December 2021, 12:20:09 am
...Zero sense of humour, no ability to negotiate, angry and horny at the same time...who wouldn't want to spend an hour alone with this charming man?
Haha!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 13 December 2021, 06:13:02 pm
Quote from: Kiss on 13 December 2021, 08:32:18 am
Idiots often get upset quite quickly lol
💯
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 13 December 2021, 06:13:25 pm
Quote from: HiddenTalents02 on 13 December 2021, 10:22:13 am
Asked to meet and just wank in front of me for a generous £20.
 ;D
Haha, lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 13 December 2021, 06:13:51 pm
Phone call today (sounded an old man)
Him - You profile says you don't do anal.
Me - yes that's right
Him - so you won't do anal with me?
Me - I think that's pretty clear, don't you?
Him - oh, alright.

Gave me the eww!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 13 December 2021, 06:14:15 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 13 December 2021, 04:33:30 pm
I mean, why wouldn't you  ;)
Haha!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 14 December 2021, 09:52:15 am
Quote from: Milf-glos on 13 December 2021, 06:13:51 pm
Phone call today (sounded an old man)
Him - You profile says you don't do anal.
Me - yes that's right
Him - so you won't do anal with me?
Me - I think that's pretty clear, don't you?
Him - oh, alright.

Gave me the eww!
Guess no ones turned him down before for something .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GucciGang on 14 December 2021, 04:02:42 pm
Client text me today and said “I want half hour and I want you to come and pick me up”

Followed by ????????

Is it a go or no ????

Oh my word I thought we are now  deliveroo or Uber.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: thickthighs on 14 December 2021, 04:36:29 pm
Quote from: GucciGang on 14 December 2021, 04:02:42 pm
Client text me today and said “I want half hour and I want you to come and pick me up”

Followed by ????????

Is it a go or no ????

Oh my word I thought we are now  deliveroo or Uber.

Just the word want winds me up
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 14 December 2021, 11:04:56 pm
Quote from: GucciGang on 14 December 2021, 04:02:42 pm
Client text me today and said “I want half hour and I want you to come and pick me up”

Followed by ????????

Is it a go or no ????

Oh my word I thought we are now  deliveroo or Uber.

Uber escorts, niche market surely. I had one wanting me to pick him up too. Jog on matey.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 15 December 2021, 09:17:36 am
What ever next !
Uber escort eats !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 15 December 2021, 09:22:28 pm
Up next: HOES ON SKATES!!!!🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

I had 1 do this in Raleigh North Carolina; he didn’t have a card to do Uber/Lyft, no extra $$ for a cab🚕 & the metro bus🚎would’ve pushed him into my next session. So his answer is for me to, “swing by & pick him up.” I amusedly asked him why he thought I might have my OWN car, since I didn’t LIVE in Raleigh & he knew that? Naturally he’d assumed I’d rented 1; no. Then asks me to Uber him to me ~ but he can’t pay for it🤦🏼‍♀️.

I gave up after that & stopped answering his texts. I DO remember at no time was he ugly or rude or mean or anything.

Very weird.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 16 December 2021, 06:16:06 am
Yes been asked to pick clients up some do do this I hear but not me not on a time or insurance invalidating basis. Plus my car is my personal space, I'm quite funny about it with friends and family!

One punter directing me into a very rural location just jumped in, also had that arriving at a lodge park. I often have a bag on the passenger seat.  ::). I use the door locks more and more, especially after a man tried to get in my car as I parked after getting back from a booking thinking I was a taxi. He was drunk, it was really scary (luckily locks on so he couldn't but he was pulling at the door handle). My car looks nothing like a taxi  ::) :FF :D

Ten minutes after I thought "I was more at risk then than in a booking with a punter"! (meant in the best way).

Sheesh.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 17 December 2021, 12:00:15 am
I do so love the gentlemanly approach.

Quote
Hello ******!

I want to spit in your gaping arse!

But also, how much extra do you charge for filthy play including slapping, spitting, anal, rimming. Is there a price package you would do for 2 hours?

I also see you enjoy white parties. Id love to see a line vanish up the shaft of my cock.

Thanks, sorry if too forward!

x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 17 December 2021, 08:40:12 am
Quote from: saltysweet on 17 December 2021, 12:00:15 am
I do so love the gentlemanly approach.

Omfg! Um, does he not realise is cock is not an elephants trunk?? Such a charmer also!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 17 December 2021, 09:29:27 am
 ;D MG!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 19 December 2021, 05:45:59 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 17 December 2021, 08:40:12 am
Omfg! Um, does he not realise is cock is not an elephants trunk?? Such a charmer also!

They do love to impress us don't they  ;D
In a similar vein, I had this one.

" I want to book a meet. I'm black, 6ft6, very muscular and I have a 10 inch dick that is pretty thick, would this be a problem for you? x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 19 December 2021, 05:46:52 pm
Quote from: fallen angel on 19 December 2021, 05:45:59 pm
They do love to impress us don't they  ;D
In a similar vein, I had this one.

" I want to book a meet. I'm black, 6ft6, very muscular and I have a 10 inch dick that is pretty thick, would this be a problem for you? x

I got his message as well. Good old copy and paste haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 19 December 2021, 05:51:24 pm
Quote from: EveEveEve on 19 December 2021, 05:46:52 pm
I got his message as well. Good old copy and paste haha

Haha yes. I had to decline as I explained that I don't see guys over 6ft 4 because I was sick of having to replace the lampshades  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 19 December 2021, 08:59:34 pm
Quote from: fallen angel on 19 December 2021, 05:51:24 pm
Haha yes. I had to decline as I explained that I don't see guys over 6ft 4 because I was sick of having to replace the lampshades  ;D

 ;D FA
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Marcie on 20 December 2021, 12:59:26 am

Thank's Milf-gloss. I'm glad to know it's not just me that get's paranoid if you can call it that.

Quote
[I use the door locks more and more, especially after a man tried to get in my car as I parked after getting back from a booking thinking I was a taxi. He was drunk, it was really scary (luckily locks on so he couldn't but he was pulling at the door handle). My car looks nothing like a taxi  ::) :FF :D

Hands up! I did this Mirror and was absolutely mortified! I was stressed out, my taxi was late and without thinking, I opened a random guys car and climbed into the back. The guy just turned around and stared at me and, I was thinking " what's his problem"?   he just stared at me with complete shock, and then it twigged...I was like " this isn't a taxi is it"? and he was like " nope".......so fucking emabarressed................I was stressed, that's my excuse!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: denise96 on 21 December 2021, 05:43:34 pm
Hi hun, where are you located

Hi, I am based in XYZ.. 

What are your service hun and price

 :FF :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 21 December 2021, 10:28:41 pm
Got this beauty last week ~

Hi

Me:Hello

Hi

Rate

Me: Can you tell me where you learned of me?

How much pay

Must. Kill. Now. :FF 🥴
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 22 December 2021, 11:32:09 am
First message - Ever come to xxx? (next town along 20 minute drive)
Me - yes I was there last week for shopping, great town.
Didn't get a reply after that, wonder why lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 22 December 2021, 09:22:09 pm
I've had most of this year off due to various health issues and according to the AW log, the last time I displayed my number was almost a year ago. I recently got a spate of calls from people already saved as "no" "idiot" "clueless" "no show" etc. So they've saved my number for that long and then decided to be a twat again. What boring little lives they must have!

Email gems recently:

1: Sent at 2.30am: Can we meet now
2: Send postcode and price to my phone
3: yo
4: shag?



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 23 December 2021, 06:03:30 pm
Amongst the many timewasters today, a text ( despite clearly asking for calls only) that just said  "working"
I assume it was supposed to be a question but clearly he was too bloody lazy to add a question mark!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 26 December 2021, 09:46:20 pm
Quote from: fallen angel on 23 December 2021, 06:03:30 pm
Amongst the many timewasters today, a text ( despite clearly asking for calls only) that just said  "working"
I assume it was supposed to be a question but clearly he was too bloody lazy to add a question mark!

I just got one today saying 'free', no question mark, nothing else. Instant block.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 29 December 2021, 05:53:10 pm
- Hey you available for a couple this evening?
- Are you okay with couples though?
- Brilliant, I’ll wait for my sister to reply with what’s times best for her and be in touch.


??!? Hang on a fucking minute.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: blackcherry on 29 December 2021, 08:02:17 pm
Quote from: EveEveEve on 29 December 2021, 05:53:10 pm
- Hey you available for a couple this evening?
- Are you okay with couples though?
- Brilliant, I’ll wait for my sister to reply with what’s times best for her and be in touch.


??!? Hang on a fucking minute.

 :o  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 30 December 2021, 11:14:41 am
Just been contacted by a twat asking for something I don't offer who must think his chosen nickname on a prostitute website is hilarious. I have blanked the first bit for (undeserved) anonimity.


**** the ripper



 ::) :FF

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 30 December 2021, 11:46:41 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 30 December 2021, 11:14:41 am
Just been contacted by a twat asking for something I don't offer who must think his chosen nickname on a prostitute website is hilarious. I have blanked the first bit for (undeserved) anonimity.


**** the ripper



 ::) :FF

There used to be a guy who used the legal and at the time well know name of another predator, name alone wasn't a warning but his behaviour and attitude was incredibly poor. Both combined he was either really stupid, ignorant or playing a game.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 30 December 2021, 12:24:13 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 30 December 2021, 11:14:41 am
Just been contacted by a twat asking for something I don't offer who must think his chosen nickname on a prostitute website is hilarious. I have blanked the first bit for (undeserved) anonimity.


**** the ripper



 ::) :FF

Ah yes the good old "amusing name" syndrome which some of the men seem to think will draw us to them!  I was happy to ignore a booking request from a man who chose his name very unwisely. It included the words muck and choke.

 How luvvly.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 30 December 2021, 12:27:19 pm
Had something similar recently. From a username “RedRaw” 😬 made me shudder just to read the name, absolutely no chance mate. Could be the nicest guy, but seriously, they wouldn’t choose a user like that would they.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 31 December 2021, 02:52:48 pm
Punter names can really be a massive turn  off ..
As they choose themselves ..who in their right mind would opt for nicknames after serial killers etc  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 31 December 2021, 03:40:07 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW link=topic=1637.msg418456#msg418456 date=1640862881

[b
**** the ripper[/b]



 ::) :FF

Omfg! Tbh I have some corkers of user names in my phone that anyone who found my phone would think suspicious!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 04 January 2022, 07:32:39 pm
Potential new client messages if it's okay to visit tonight. Replied, sure call now. Apparently can't can in a minute than reframes to talking about travel will take him an hour or so. So I ask give me an idea when. Like, I'm not hanging around for 10, 20, 30 minutes however long it is on his phone call. Then the distancing message comes in mentioning between such a time and such a time. Okay, so not in a minute but in a few hours and then within an hour window? By now he is screaming timewaster. So I message back saying sure but I don't hang around waiting on my phone and that time may go on something else. He doesn't reply...

I may be premature with my opinion but if this turns into a firm booking with zero stress and I'm happy to see him as a client again I will be very surprised. Call me cynical but I'm waiting for a big fat nothing after waiting me wait or a message saying he's not finishing his shift until whatever my latest hour is and can he call then followed by the boss wants him to stay behind half an hour can he call later blah blah.

I've felt tired after a stressy day or just lost interest and turned my phone off and went to bed early before only for no calls to come through which proves a point.

Update:

He was unclear whether he wanted to arrive or call between 7.30pm and 8pm. Another new client called during this time and he's booked in for tomorrow. He didn't call but messaged at 8.15pm. By then I had already set my phone to do not disturb and ignored his message. I felt ratty and tired after dealing with idiocy and ego and oxygen thieves online and have a real dislike of vague times and slipping schedules and failures to call when promised.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 04 January 2022, 10:36:00 pm
Quote from: Tickle on 04 January 2022, 07:32:39 pm
Potential new client messages if it's okay to visit tonight. Replied, sure call now. Apparently can't can in a minute.
 I felt ratty and tired after dealing with idiocy and ego and oxygen thieves online and have a real dislike of vague times and slipping schedules and failures to call when promised.

I feel the same, the amount lately that are going to confirm in the morning, never do.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 05 January 2022, 12:24:25 pm
Quote from: fallen angel on 04 January 2022, 10:36:00 pm
I feel the same, the amount lately that are going to confirm in the morning, never do.

New client I booked in last night messaged this morning very promptly after my morning booking time starts to say he couldn't make it today but will soon. It does happen but we are where we are!

I read through a few other threads last night after not visiting the forum for ages. It was a good antidote to muddle and stress to spot things which happened to others too. Some preposterous things were uncannily similar.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 08 January 2022, 08:25:48 pm
I want to book you for a 4 hour outcall to xxx (2 hrs drive away) tonight. I only travel 30 minutes each way, require 24 hrs notice and I'm not working currently due to illness. Read absolutely nothing on my profile.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 09 January 2022, 02:00:23 pm
Got a classic 'available?' text. Ignored it.

10 months later he chased up with '??'

Was he waiting all that time for a reply and then thought 'I know I'll send her 2 question marks that'll do it' Amazing how their minds work, how do they cope navigating everyday life 🤷
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 09 January 2022, 02:20:37 pm
Quote from: SW on 09 January 2022, 02:00:23 pm
Got a classic 'available?' text. Ignored it.

10 months later he chased up with '??'

Was he waiting all that time for a reply and then thought 'I know I'll send her 2 question marks that'll do it' Amazing how their minds work, how do they cope navigating everyday life 🤷

Ah passive agressive question marks.... makes me ignore them even more  I had one who would email me at like 4am, and follow up with ?? 1 hour later. He did it a few times. Blocked him on my phone. Idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 09 January 2022, 04:39:54 pm
I had the most shocking one to date last night.

A man asked for a couples outcall. Paid a deposit, all seemed fine. Drove 40 mins to get there, knocked on the door... Nothing. I could see that someone was home, texted him in case they didn't hear the door. Kept saying 2 mins. Was stood on the bloody doorstep nearly 10 mins. Told him I was leaving and the door suddenly opens, I walk in to a sheepish looking man and a furious and upset looking woman. Turns out that I was a surprise. She didn't even know that I was coming til I knocked on the door. I was furious. Luckily she was reasonable and saw that the fault lay with him and not me but I felt terrible. He said I'll go upstairs and get you some petrol money for wasting your time, then left me in the lounge with her while he went upstairs. Awkward much? I apologised and told her he was wrong to do what he did. When he came back down I told him he was out of order. He said that we talk about it in bed and she said she wanted to so I thought she agreed to it. What a pleb.
10 mins into my drive home he texted to say she's gone love, come back and see me? Nah thanks. Can't believe he did that. Poor girl.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 09 January 2022, 05:41:50 pm
Quote from: BJC on 09 January 2022, 04:39:54 pm
I had the most shocking one to date last night.

[redacted]

Omg!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 10 January 2022, 12:42:00 pm
I'd like to book you this evening and I'd like you to be long in the pussy. Me - ah what a shame I shaved my pussy this morning.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 10 January 2022, 01:53:58 pm
Quote from: Ms_Mila on 20 May 2021, 08:38:11 pm
Where the hell do these men get off speaking to us like this? Did he expect me to be dripping with excitement?

I'd love to read a psychologist/sociologist deconstruct their comments. Ego compensation for being a nobody I'm guessing but I could be wrong.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 10 January 2022, 03:14:06 pm
Quote from: Tickle on 10 January 2022, 01:53:58 pm
I'd love to read a psychologist/sociologist deconstruct their comments. Ego compensation for being a nobody I'm guessing but I could be wrong.

A top webcam performer speaking at a performance tips webinar explained often customers really struggle to communicate with women, that's partly why they may be using porn or paying for sex.

I find this explanation very useful.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SW on 10 January 2022, 04:00:19 pm
Quote from: Mirror on 10 January 2022, 03:14:06 pm
A top webcam performer speaking at a performance tips webinar explained often customers really struggle to communicate with women, that's partly why they may be using porn or paying for sex.

I find this explanation very useful.

Yes this explains A LOT
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 10 January 2022, 06:39:12 pm
Him
I’m in the XX area this Thursday/Friday and in a few weeks times again and I came across your profile on AW and you look my type. I am a little bit funny, even though your body picture are a turn on for me, I have a thing about faces. Could you provide me a face picture?

Politely told to foxtrot oscar and find a SP who advertises her face if its that important. Plus I am not working currently (clearly advertised).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: VoluptuousCurves on 10 January 2022, 09:10:47 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 10 January 2022, 06:39:12 pm
I have a thing about faces. Could you provide me a face picture?

I'd have had to have sent him a photo of a 78 year old Gurning champion.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 10 January 2022, 11:08:21 pm
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 10 January 2022, 09:10:47 pm
I'd have had to have sent him a photo of a 78 year old Gurning champion.

I once got asked if I could confirm my age, gender and ethnicity... I responded yeah really I'm a 70yr old Nigerian pre op Male to female transsexual but nobody who has left me feedback seems to mind.... funnily enough he didn't book.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 11 January 2022, 06:47:48 am
I had a prospective client call and message who reeked of red flags and timewaster. I didn't quite catch what he said so am not sure. I just heard the bit "without a condom" and that was enough for me to think "block". He may have meant OWO but this was in the middle of a classic telling me what I wanted to hear about my profile and what on reflection sounded like a memorised listof his expectations. That he was a first timer... [red flag] Had messaged saying would I like him to send a face pic.... [red flag] Asking for a time just before my start time... [red flag] Being certain-ish about another date when it clashed with something on the date he first wanted.... [red flag] Telling me he was married and had to navigate his wife and family to make an appointment.... [red flag] Messaging after we spoke not to message him if he didn't call on the planned day because his wife might find it.... [red flag] He also wanted things to be gentle and no rushing because it was his first time. Uh, huh. [red flag] Oh, and using a name which sounded like a "bloke down the pub nickname" and suspiciously close to "Jizz".

I can get caught up in feeling positive and trying to be helpful and struggle with the guilt when I have to do a u-turn but I had to block him. It's like he was working to cram as many red flags in as he could. I can't work out if he was a total dork or a well practiced timewasting piss taker or both.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 11 January 2022, 09:16:36 am
Tickle, I would have ran a mile too. Sounds like a nightmare.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 11 January 2022, 02:22:28 pm
Quote from: SW on 09 January 2022, 02:00:23 pm
Got a classic 'available?' text. Ignored it.

10 months later he chased up with '??'

Was he waiting all that time for a reply and then thought 'I know I'll send her 2 question marks that'll do it' Amazing how their minds work, how do they cope navigating everyday life 🤷
Haha! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 11 January 2022, 02:23:56 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 10 January 2022, 11:08:21 pm
I once got asked if I could confirm my age, gender and ethnicity... I responded yeah really I'm a 70yr old Nigerian pre op Male to female transsexual but nobody who has left me feedback seems to mind.... funnily enough he didn't book.
Haha!! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 11 January 2022, 02:25:00 pm
HIM: I just wanna check it's a true BJ?
ME: No, it isn't.  It's a cardboard cut-out BJ...
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 11 January 2022, 02:31:39 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 11 January 2022, 02:25:00 pm
HIM: I just wanna check it's a true BJ?
ME: No, it isn't.  It's a cardboard cut-out BJ...
;D

he deserved that!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 11 January 2022, 03:24:34 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 11 January 2022, 02:31:39 pm
he deserved that!  ;D
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 11 January 2022, 04:19:50 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 11 January 2022, 02:25:00 pm
HIM: I just wanna check it's a true BJ?
ME: No, it isn't.  It's a cardboard cut-out BJ...
;D

Just spat out my tea lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 11 January 2022, 11:36:41 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 11 January 2022, 04:19:50 pm
Just spat out my tea lol
Haha 😄
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 14 January 2022, 03:18:37 pm
Wannabe calls and I miss his call. When I check my phone I message him my standard reply. He messages back asking how old,and incall outcall? I message back call to book or you are marked as a timewaster. Crushing silence.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Michellebelle on 14 January 2022, 07:50:45 pm
Him: I want to lick and suck your cervix

Me: silence 😱
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 14 January 2022, 08:05:43 pm
Quote from: Michellebelle on 14 January 2022, 07:50:45 pm
Him: I want to lick and suck your cervix

Me: silence 😱

I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry at that one! OMG

Some men do have long tongues though  ;D

Perhaps a lesson or two in anatomy may have helped the poor wee lad.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: dazwhite on 15 January 2022, 02:30:05 pm
I can't stand when these men will send you a message on AW then follow up with a text 15 minutes later "I messaged you but you haven't seen it..." (or vice versa). The chances of me actually not receiving an email in 2022 are minimal - I haven't seen it because i'm busy!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 15 January 2022, 06:59:37 pm
Quote from: Michellebelle on 14 January 2022, 07:50:45 pm
Him: I want to lick and suck your cervix

Me: silence 😱

Proceeds to bleach brain🧠.

That’s nauseating. Horks.🤮🤢
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 15 January 2022, 10:33:21 pm
Quote from: dazwhite on 15 January 2022, 02:30:05 pm
I can't stand when these men will send you a message on AW then follow up with a text 15 minutes later "I messaged you but you haven't seen it..." (or vice versa). The chances of me actually not receiving an email in 2022 are minimal - I haven't seen it because i'm busy!

Text, AW message with same wording, but when asked they say 'No wasn't me'.

Also phone several times asking 'are you available?' when I advise they've just phoned me, they say they phoned a different number and claim the number is for a different Escort. I only have one number advertised, the same number I'm answering, more or less the same name and same details for each directory I advertise on . In other words I'm fairly recognisable.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 16 January 2022, 08:31:20 am
Nightmare potential client I wrote about a few posts back who I blocked didn't phone this Friday as predicted!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: blackcherry on 16 January 2022, 05:54:32 pm
Punter emailed asking for a meet today. I declined saying I wasn't given enough notice.

He replies with "Thanks for your reply and sorry I didn’t give you more notice…I had an urge for a big girl ! I will contact you another time if I may…
Perhaps you might send me a nice pic in the meantime to cheer me up…"

I'm 5ft9 and 11 stone. Curvy at best but definitely not "big". Needless to say I have ignored him and gone back to my Netflix show
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 16 January 2022, 08:35:05 pm
Quote from: AV on 16 January 2022, 05:54:32 pm
Punter emailed asking for a meet today. I declined saying I wasn't given enough notice.

He replies with "Thanks for your reply and sorry I didn’t give you more notice…I had an urge for a big girl ! I will contact you another time if I may…
Perhaps you might send me a nice pic in the meantime to cheer me up…"

I'm 5ft9 and 11 stone. Curvy at best but definitely not "big". Needless to say I have ignored him and gone back to my Netflix show

Cheeky bastard  >:(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: blackcherry on 16 January 2022, 09:44:40 pm
Quote from: Gypsy on 16 January 2022, 08:35:05 pm
Cheeky bastard  >:(

Right?! I have 20 odd pics on my website which clearly show I'm not a "big girl" and why on earth did he think I was gonna send him a "nice pic"  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 16 January 2022, 09:50:21 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 11 January 2022, 02:25:00 pm
HIM: I just wanna check it's a true BJ?
ME: No, it isn't.  It's a cardboard cut-out BJ...
;D

what the hell is a true BJ?

Bloody men, I despair
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 17 January 2022, 09:10:12 am
Quote from: AV on 16 January 2022, 05:54:32 pm
Punter emailed asking for a meet today. I declined saying I wasn't given enough notice.

He replies with "Thanks for your reply and sorry I didn’t give you more notice…I had an urge for a big girl ! I will contact you another time if I may…
Perhaps you might send me a nice pic in the meantime to cheer me up…"

I'm 5ft9 and 11 stone. Curvy at best but definitely not "big". Needless to say I have ignored him and gone back to my Netflix show

Youngish sounding man with unclear foreign accent. In such a hurry he tried to skip past my asking what date and time would he like and asked where I was. I asked the question again and he said he wanted me now. "Now" was before my advertised start time and also before my advertised booking start time. I hadn't even had a shower or put my makeup on! He may have been quite nice and just caught up in his own lusts but I said I was declining him as a client and don't call again. I know this was quite sharp and I'm guessing he was on mobile and hadn't read my profile through properly but standards are standards.

The previous two inquiries had been a red trouser type asking too many questions and another who was worrying about his wife catching chlamydia and neither resulted in a firm booking. I also had a thick head over dealing with state bureaucracy this week and "bro" culture on a forum I'm on so not tolerating deviating from what I am used to and happy with. I can be accommodating but that requires corresponding positives in other directions to make up for it which I have not been hearing.

Update:

The one I blocked not only didn't hear this but phoned back the next morning two hours earlier!

I also had one I blocked a year or two ago and had to message to tell him to stop pestering me call today. I didn't answer so he left a message "???".

Another one who I have not only blocked but literally asked to leave before even taking the money and not come back trying to call for the past three weeks.

What part of "no" do they not understand?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 22 January 2022, 04:38:40 pm
Email asking if I'm ok
Followed after I messaged saying why are you asking ?
I need to come to your home and clean .
I don't even offer meets  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 22 January 2022, 11:27:58 pm
This lovely chap..

Him: Hi are you available?
Me: When?
Him: Now Owo15 min?
Me: Try reading my profile (I don't offer 15 minute bookings or bookings without an hour's notice)
Him: Na

Me: face palm

Him: Hi
Me: (I know, I know but I was bored) Really??
Him: Huh?
Me: Hi what? Are we friends?
Him: No saw your ad are you free?
Me: Nope
Him: Where are you?
Me: At work
Him: Ok so when are you available
Me: Next Monday
Him: Ok are you in town name then?
Me: What does it say on my profile? When and Where tab?
Him: Silence
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissFlint on 24 January 2022, 12:13:58 pm
Me: I need at least 30 minutes notice, so the earliest I can see you is one o’clock.
Him: okay that’s fine. What’s your postcode?
Me: It’s…
Him: I’m 8 minutes away, can I come in 8 minutes.
Me: No, I just said I need 30 minutes notice and you agreed it was okay.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Scarlettwoman on 27 January 2022, 02:05:31 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Grace1 on 27 January 2022, 02:43:27 pm
Today… No Hi… nothing.

Him: Polish girl?
Me: Yes

Silence  ???

In my advert  you can see exactly that I am Polish  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 27 January 2022, 07:35:55 pm
Your diary isn't letting me make a booking.
That's because the diary is closed.
Well, I want to make a booking, open it.
It is closed to stop rude, arrogant people making a booking who don't have the manners to check if I am even available first. Do you see the issue here?

Silence.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nonsugar on 28 January 2022, 12:13:51 am
Quote from: Grace1 on 27 January 2022, 02:43:27 pm
Today… No Hi… nothing.

Him: Polish girl?
Me: Yes

Silence  ???

In my advert  you can see exactly that I am Polish  ::)

I completely hate it when you clearly state that you are not British and then they text "you fully English", you answer that you are not and that you clearly state that and then they "I want English" or "oh I don't like your nationality" or even worse things without knowing anything about your or your country.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nonsugar on 28 January 2022, 12:18:16 am
Leaving a whole 4 minutes voice mail of them wanking on the phone and after they finish they say "can I come". Yeah mate what I delight to hear you wanking at 8 in the morning of course you can come but not here  ::) ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 28 January 2022, 02:11:13 am
Quote from: Nonsugar on 28 January 2022, 12:18:16 am
Leaving a whole 4 minutes voice mail of them wanking on the phone and after they finish they say "can I come". Yeah mate what I delight to hear you wanking at 8 in the morning of course you can come but not here  ::) ::)

That's one of the reasons I have a dumb phone - no voicemail.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 28 January 2022, 05:40:36 am
Quote from: Kay on 28 January 2022, 02:11:13 am
That's one of the reasons I have a dumb phone - no voicemail.

Voicemail has nothing to do with the handset, it's provided at  the service provider end can be activated and accessed by any phone with buttons (real or touch screen) whatever the technology or lack of it. I've always had voicemail on whatever mobile phone, going back 20+ years to very basic pre-android phones and I'm only a very recent convert to up-to-date phone for work. During a recent up date the VM for work phone was actually turned off, needed reactivating because it was changing to a smarter phone.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: blackcherry on 28 January 2022, 11:34:28 am
*logs on to check emails*

"At last a sexy black girl who does anal! Always wanted to ride a big black booty Mmm ;) xxx".  :o :FF

*Logs off* 

Hope everyone has a great Friday
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 28 January 2022, 11:47:46 am
I also have a "dumb" phone for bookings and it has no voicemail facility.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 28 January 2022, 11:49:56 am
BTW voicemail can be turned off or not even activated, whatever type of phone being used. It's a service 'on the line' not in the handset.

I find flight mode on the new phone very handy, stops calls, texts, emails, twitter et al whilst keeping morning  :D alarm clock active.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Scarlettwoman on 28 January 2022, 07:36:22 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 28 January 2022, 09:16:55 pm
Quote from: Scarlettwoman on 28 January 2022, 07:36:22 pm
"Are you OK to be in a dress and for things to be a bit more natural?"

I'm not sure how much more natural you can be for two strangers that are meeting for a shag.

I dunno, but when I hear 'natural', that's usually quickly followed by 'no condom'?
Could also be he means romantic sweetness and light :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 28 January 2022, 09:23:18 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 28 January 2022, 09:16:55 pm
I dunno, but when I hear 'natural', that's usually quickly followed by 'no condom'?
Could also be he means romantic sweetness and light :-X

I was thinking bareback, too  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 29 January 2022, 02:07:26 pm
Quote from: Scarlettwoman on 28 January 2022, 07:36:22 pm
"Are you OK to be in a dress and for things to be a bit more natural?"

I'm not sure how much more natural you can be for two strangers that are meeting for a shag.

Haha your response literarally made me LOL, so true.
As others have said, as soon as they mention "natural"  I usually think they are hinting at bareback.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 29 January 2022, 02:21:02 pm
Idiot ... Are you based in xxxx area

Me ... Not far from there (and tell him where I am)

Idiot... Can you send me the address

Me .. No, I've told you approx location, you'll get a nearby post code

Idiot ... Ok can I come see you

Me ..  yes, what time and duration?

Idiot .. maybe 2 or 2.30

Me... well which

Idiot .. maybe 2, for 15 or 30 mins

Me .. well which!?

Idiot .. maybe 15, shall I just call you when I'm nearby

Me... No as you don't sound certain of whether you're coming or not and I won't get ready on the off chance.

Idiot ...  hangs up

What is wrong with these men!?   :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: thickthighs on 29 January 2022, 03:57:17 pm
Quote from: fallen angel on 29 January 2022, 02:07:26 pm
Haha your response literarally made me LOL, so true.
As others have said, as soon as they mention "natural"  I usually think they are hinting at bareback.

The word natural is always a red flag and I assume it to mean BB
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: dazwhite on 29 January 2022, 09:47:23 pm
"I am 6ft tall slim medium build east london guy from [area] just wondering where you are based a d where are you availabe is am asain guy 37 clean into health and fitness I also have beard and I am chiropractor and massage therapist"

What a long run-on sentence and not a single bit of useful information! I dread when I open a message and see a wall of text describing their appearance and where they work, I really don't give a fuck and just want to know what time they want to book!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 30 January 2022, 12:58:48 am
Man on AW over a week ago wanting to book me for a day and time early next week. When the discussion began I didn't realise we had already have a dozen message ping pongs which was far too much.

So he messages today saying he still wants to see me on that day and would I send my postcode. Pardon? At this point I'm thinking after having reviewed the earlier messages he's likely a "no" and I want him to call so I can suss out what's going on and block his number. So I ask him to call that day. "Forget it. Please accept my apologies for wasting your time." So a fantasist who was stringing things along or creep and maybe even a no show/postcode collector.

I try to be helpful but by God some can be a trial or think we're idiots.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 30 January 2022, 11:41:21 am
When they write you an email in the middle of the night. No mention of when they can meet. Just asking if they can meet you. No name age details nothing.

It wouldn't kill them to be a bit more detailed would it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 30 January 2022, 01:14:16 pm
Quote from: Lushblossom on 30 January 2022, 11:41:21 am
When they write you an email in the middle of the night. No mention of when they can meet. Just asking if they can meet you. No name age details nothing.

It wouldn't kill them to be a bit more detailed would it!

Yep, had that last night.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 30 January 2022, 01:15:44 pm
Him - Can you do an 30 mins at 4pm. Me - Sorry already booked. Him - can you do an hour at 4pm then?  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 30 January 2022, 03:18:07 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 30 January 2022, 01:15:44 pm
Him - Can you do an 30 mins at 4pm. Me - Sorry already booked. Him - can you do an hour at 4pm then?  :FF

“What about 3:45 then?”

An actual conversation.🤦🏼‍♀️🪓
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 30 January 2022, 05:48:29 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 30 January 2022, 03:18:07 pm
“What about 3:45 then?”

An actual conversation.🤦🏼‍♀️🪓

I can believe it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 30 January 2022, 07:15:24 pm
Email from him

"when are you going to let me seduce you"

Reply from me












That's right he didn't get one  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 30 January 2022, 07:26:14 pm
New one on me;

Do you do breastfeeding roleplay?

Decking hate my nipples being sucked. Did not respond. 

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 30 January 2022, 07:36:39 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 30 January 2022, 01:15:44 pm
Him - Can you do an 30 mins at 4pm. Me - Sorry already booked. Him - can you do an hour at 4pm then?  :FF

I've had this kind of thing before, I think maybe he thought if the other guy was a 30 min booking also then you might bump him if he offered a longer booking.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 30 January 2022, 08:16:14 pm
Quote from: fallen angel on 30 January 2022, 07:36:39 pm
I've had this kind of thing before, I think maybe he thought if the other guy was a 30 min booking also then you might bump him if he offered a longer booking.

Probably. I've had a few say similar before.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 31 January 2022, 06:50:53 am
When they just want a half hour. Not sure when. Sending you at least five really long emails.

I blocked him in the end. Too demanding. Plus he had ED which I can easily cope with but really long emails are so offputting ...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 31 January 2022, 11:56:00 am
Pompous sounding professional guy 65yrs...more or less arranged the booking himself as he interrupted each time I tried to speak. He got tutty and  impatient if I explained anything. He even told me what time he'd confirm, it was all his rules. I think he's very experienced with SW and used to barking orders.

I said yes as sometimes a slightly unsuitable spare cock is sometimes worth a punt if I happen to be around. The he texts'...'stockings please', I dislike like this 'pizza ordering' vibe, especially via text. My deep guts realised I'd probably get quite angry with him and kick him out in 5 seconds, so I texted my cancellation.

He rung and apologised then did the same interrupting. I said 'you keep interrupting do you realise that?'. 'No' and I told him to find someone else. Then he texted he wasn't interrupting but was only answering my questions....'Apologies I had no idea I came across like that'

Through the next day he sent multiple hopefull texts that he was still available..would it be ok? Then tried for the day after too. I ignored.
Finally he sent this loveletter-

I trust you had a great day. You missed out on £400 pay out, if we had a 90 minute appointment. I am glad you are able to take a financial hit like that. All the best Simon.

(The price is about right so he's not being weird in that respect.)

First it was the stick, then it was the mouldy carrot. Gut's always right.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 31 January 2022, 10:44:07 pm
Omg salty! I hate the 'wear this' requests as well. Sounds like you dodged a bullet there. He would have been a nightmare.  If they interrupt me either on the phone or in person I go silent every time. So rude!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 31 January 2022, 10:47:45 pm
I had an email the other day ordering me to wear tight leggings and to face sit him, buring my pussy into his face (how am I meant to do that in leggings I do not own...). Ignored as wasn't in the mood for orders. He emailed me again today ordering I face sit him whilst wearing a certain expensive brand of panties, which I do not own. Ignored again. Fantascist.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 01 February 2022, 12:52:17 am
Oh you get the odd 'pizza orders' too how rude :)

Thanks Milf-Glos, yeah bullet dodged. I guess I hoped once he'd apologised he'd shake off whatever nerves or stick up the ass was bothering him but he got big-fat-worse.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 01 February 2022, 02:41:46 pm
I never entertain requests or role play or anything like that. I found most of them were timewasters or fantasists or simply going to be a pain. I found my best clients want to see me for me and happy with what I decide and the more they diverge from this the more miserable and stressed I'm going to feel.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 01 February 2022, 02:48:42 pm
Quote from: Tickle on 01 February 2022, 02:41:46 pm
I never entertain requests or role play or anything like that. I found most of them were timewasters or fantasists or simply going to be a pain. I found my best clients want to see me for me and happy with what I decide and the more they diverge from this the more miserable and stressed I'm going to feel.

Totally.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Scarlettwoman on 01 February 2022, 06:32:27 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 01 February 2022, 07:10:15 pm
Quote from: Scarlettwoman on 01 February 2022, 06:32:27 pm
I never like those sort of requests. It makes me take an instant disliking to them.

I'm going to dress nicely and that should be enough
 

This is exactly how I feel. I'm always in heels and stockings and say this in my profile. This should be enough.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 02 February 2022, 01:43:14 pm
Arranged a booking. He texts shortly before with ridiculous outfit requests, orders not asks, all of which I don't own. Cancelled him. Got a shitty reply. Bullet dodged.

Email recently. 'Oh I love a BBW'. I'm a size 10-12.... politely declined.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 02 February 2022, 04:13:04 pm
This is so stupid of me but I always thought BBW was big/beautiful black woman, and recently got a email about me being a BBW and was so very confused. (I’m pale as Casper)
Googled and realised of course big beautiful woman is apparently the more common use, and yet still.., I’m also a size 10-12 so 🤷🏻‍♀️ Weirdos about.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 02 February 2022, 08:04:17 pm
I had a quick run of calls this evening within the space of 20 minutes.

Call 1: It seems like an accidental dial as there was noise in the background but nobody spoke. I rang off. Blocked.
Call 2: A man was talking and mumbling a bit mutter mutter "big block cock". I rang off. Blocked.
Call 3: Bad line. He saw me on the internet. What site? AW? Asked my questions. He dived past these and said he wanted to "see me now, really". I couldn't be assed so told him he hadn't answered my questions so "no" and I rang off. Blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 02 February 2022, 09:15:32 pm
Quote from: Tickle on 02 February 2022, 08:04:17 pm
I had a quick run of calls this evening within the space of 20 minutes.

Call 1: It seems like an accidental dial as there was noise in the background but nobody spoke. I rang off. Blocked.
Call 2: A man was talking and mumbling a bit mutter mutter "big block cock". I rang off. Blocked.
Call 3: Bad line. He saw me on the internet. What site? AW? Asked my questions. He dived past these and said he wanted to "see me now, really". I couldn't be assed so told him he hadn't answered my questions so "no" and I rang off. Blocked.

Just out of interest what questions do you ask? X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 02 February 2022, 09:16:27 pm
Quote from: EvelynWho on 02 February 2022, 04:13:04 pm
This is so stupid of me but I always thought BBW was big/beautiful black woman, and recently got a email about me being a BBW and was so very confused. (I’m pale as Casper)
Googled and realised of course big beautiful woman is apparently the more common use, and yet still.., I’m also a size 10-12 so 🤷🏻‍♀️ Weirdos about.

May be the same guy negging x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 02 February 2022, 09:43:23 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 02 February 2022, 09:15:32 pm
Just out of interest what questions do you ask? X

Just what they like about my profile and what kind of experience they are looking for. Simple questions but I find out where they are coming from and whether they read my profile and if I like them. I pick up a fair bit off them. I've been using them since I started a few years ago now and they work for me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 02 February 2022, 11:37:23 pm
Quote from: Tickle on 02 February 2022, 09:43:23 pm
Just what they like about my profile and what kind of experience they are looking for. Simple questions but I find out where they are coming from and whether they read my profile and if I like them. I pick up a fair bit off them. I've been using them since I started a few years ago now and they work for me.

Thank you, that's helpful x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 03 February 2022, 07:47:35 am
Message on AW last night: "Hey u about 12ish x ". He has left a few not dissimilar messages I never responded to. One I did and just instructed him call to book. If he did actually call I likely blocked him as any regular I have knows better than to speak to me like this.

Do I look like the kind of lady who responds to "Hey u"?

Not remotely...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 03 February 2022, 08:43:04 am
Blocked a client ages ago after he visited because he wanted BB anal. He still tries ringing and texting. He rang twice late last night, followed up by a text message into my blocked list asking for an outcall. He follows up the text 30 minutes later with ??. He's emailed me before at like 3am asking for a visit then follows up with the passive aggressive ?? because god forbid an escort actually sleeps. Prick.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 03 February 2022, 12:20:14 pm
Clients being too cagey and paranoid for their own good.

Well spoken, rings and calls me by the wrong name which means he's already confused, or got wrong number but I roll with it. I ask where he saw my number and he says 'a note'.
What note?
'The note on the web'. :(
'Oh I sent you a note did I?'
'No' :(
'What do you mean a note?'

He responds with words that mean everything except 'website' eg 'messege','item'.

Then asks where I am, I tell him to read the 'note' .
Gets huffy and puts phone down.
Then calls me in 10 seconds and says, 'Ahhh aha! (twirls moustache) I see you're NOT independent!! your the call center for other people! >:(   >:( ''
And puts the phone down again.


-Perhaps if he says the forbidden word- 'website' he will be struck down by bolts of lightening/incriminate himself or transformed into a green hobgoblin, who knows...
-He fancies himself as the Sherlock Holmes of the punting world.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 03 February 2022, 01:47:46 pm
Haha Salty  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 03 February 2022, 02:03:12 pm
MG  :D -He's surrounded by idiots and he's gonna root em out, one by one innit!  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 03 February 2022, 03:22:59 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 03 February 2022, 12:20:14 pm
Clients being too cagey and paranoid for their own good.

Well spoken, rings and calls me by the wrong name which means he's already confused, or got wrong number but I roll with it. I ask where he saw my number and he says 'a note'. (FROM ME: What the actual...??)
What note?
'The note on the web'. :(
'Oh I sent you a note did I?'
'No' :(
'What do you mean a note?'

He responds with words that mean everything except 'website' eg 'messege','item'.

Then asks where I am, I tell him to read the 'note' .
Gets huffy and puts phone down.
Then calls me in 10 seconds and says, 'Ahhh aha! (twirls moustache) I see you're NOT independent!! your the call center for other people! >:(   >:( ''
And puts the phone down again.


-Perhaps if he says the forbidden word- 'website' he will be struck down by bolts of lightening/incriminate himself or transformed into a green hobgoblin, who knows...
-He fancies himself as the Sherlock Holmes of the punting world.
Lololol!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 03 February 2022, 03:23:38 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 03 February 2022, 02:03:12 pm
MG  :D -He's surrounded by idiots and he's gonna root em out, one by one innit!  :)
Haha!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 03 February 2022, 05:35:38 pm
You couldn't make it up Braziliana! Fancy having that chimp walking into your flat.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 03 February 2022, 06:21:12 pm
I had a Lothario on AW message me with a potted bio/fantasy/inquiry. I have been caught a few times by not viewing all messages so checked. This was another dozen message ping pong. So I tell him if he wants to see me have a firm date and time in mind then call because this message ping pong has been going on too long. He messages back saying next time I am back in [city]. I tell tell him I am located in [city] and have never left [city] and as per profile note am using a VPN in the Netherlands. Crushing silence...

I don't care that he claims to be a middle aged professional man, located such and such, first timer, and has a load of fantasies in his head about me. I don't need the bother and hassle of babysitting another timewaster/no-show to my doorstep. I did that in my early days and have no interest in it.

I'm taking it as feedback of a sorts. Like, a catcall with extra detail.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 03 February 2022, 08:52:30 pm
As I've pretty much retired these days.. I only get the odd one..

Him: Hi
Me: Hi what? Did you want something?
Him: You babe x
Me: Well as you've provided no booking details or requests, I'm finding that difficult to believe..
Him? So when you available?
Me: Never, you're a long term blocked timewaster, tootles :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 03 February 2022, 09:48:28 pm

I have a very small cock so doubt we will be able to have sex but I love oral giving and receiving I love fingering and kissing and if possible I would like to finger you as you pee in the toilet although if that isn't your thing I understand.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 03 February 2022, 10:08:23 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 03 February 2022, 05:35:38 pm
You couldn't make it up Braziliana! Fancy having that chimp walking into your flat.
Lol, haha!
I just noticed this too:
Quote from: saltysweet on 03 February 2022, 05:35:38 pm
...Then asks where I am, I tell him to read the 'note'...
;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 03 February 2022, 10:09:45 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 03 February 2022, 09:48:28 pm
...I would like to finger you as you pee in the toilet...
You jumped at this delightful offer, yes, MG?
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 03 February 2022, 10:43:57 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 03 February 2022, 10:09:45 pm
You jumped at this delightful offer, yes, MG?
;D

I'm a cock hungry hoe so small dicks are off putting. Lol
I literally have anxiety when peeing in public. I just can't do it. When I had a job I would go in the disabled loos because I can't pee if someone is overhearing me. I am a weirdo.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 04 February 2022, 03:04:24 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 03 February 2022, 10:09:45 pm
You jumped at this delightful offer, yes, MG?
;D

Then he’d probably want to lick it off his fingers. *Horks.* Blarghhhhhhhhh.🤮🤢
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 04 February 2022, 04:29:47 pm
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 04 February 2022, 03:04:24 pm
Then he’d probably want to lick it off his fingers. *Horks.* Blarghhhhhhhhh.🤮🤢

Vomit 😅
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 05 February 2022, 10:01:57 pm
"don't want sex I don't believe in using a woman like that. I'm looking for a girl to enjoy coke n drink and play owo fetish etc, does that fit you?"

Um nope. I make clear absolutely no intoxicants of any kind.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 06 February 2022, 09:43:03 am
Quote from: Milf-glos on 05 February 2022, 10:01:57 pm
"don't want sex I don't believe in using a woman like that. I'm looking for a girl to enjoy coke n drink and play owo fetish etc, does that fit you?"

Um nope. I make clear absolutely no intoxicants of any kind.

How is he using us exactly? We're getting paid  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 06 February 2022, 11:08:32 am
Quote from: Gypsy on 06 February 2022, 09:43:03 am
How is he using us exactly? We're getting paid  ::)

I'm wondering if that's his problem. Like he wants what he wants from us and has his views on paid sex, and they roadcrash together in his favour (of course). Either way it's egocentric.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 06 February 2022, 03:04:41 pm
Quote from: Gypsy on 06 February 2022, 09:43:03 am
How is he using us exactly? We're getting paid  ::)

Exactly. Unless he didn't want to pay, get me high and attack me. I don't do drugs but I certainly wouldn't do them late at night with a stranger.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 06 February 2022, 03:05:37 pm
Quote from: Tickle on 06 February 2022, 11:08:32 am
I'm wondering if that's his problem. Like he wants what he wants from us and has his views on paid sex, and they roadcrash together in his favour (of course). Either way it's egocentric.

Yup. Red flag to me though.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 09 February 2022, 08:14:03 pm
Hey babe you free?

Yep..

How much?

Prices etc on the profile. Have a read please.

Have you got a deal on?

Yeah, it’s £50 a min for dickheads who haven’t read the profile :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 09 February 2022, 08:25:27 pm
Quote from: EvelynWho on 09 February 2022, 08:14:03 pm
Hey babe you free?

Yep..

How much?

Prices etc on the profile. Have a read please.

Have you got a deal on?

Yeah, it’s £50 a min for dickheads who haven’t read the profile :)

Pmsl
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 10 February 2022, 07:57:15 am
A prospective client claimed he was dyslexic and could not read block texts so did not know I did not work weekends and evenings

He said I should be more understanding of special needs.

My profile does have my hours in bold type very clearly at the top of my profile. Laziness if you ask me.  Either that or 50 per cent of men are dyslexic lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 10 February 2022, 10:50:14 am
I've had that too Lush. My hours are clearly visible and had so called dyselxics bothering me, when I point them to my working hours they get shitty.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 10 February 2022, 12:38:00 pm
Yes I do try to keep my profile user friendly. Can't win them all eh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 10 February 2022, 01:53:36 pm
What gets me are the ones who, whilst speaking to you on the phone (i.e. they've found your number online), saying they like your photos (i.e. they've found a profile and/or my website) seem to be completely clueless about the services you offer. And when you suggest it would be quickest/easiest to look at your profile, they mumble something about not being able to access it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 10 February 2022, 04:57:49 pm
Those who ask on the phone about what services I offer or any other questions which would keep me on the phone, get the quickest polite goodbye from me. If they found my number and didn't read my profile then their bad luck.  I always assume they want free phone fun and all they require is a woman's voice telling them she will do x y and z and they have got their few minutes to finish themselves off.  They could easily have started the self pleasure before I answer so they will hope my voice will take them over the edge.

Not a chance in hell. I have never discussed services over the phone and never will. Those who may be genuine can move on and try someone else.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 10 February 2022, 05:17:01 pm
I learnt pretty early on not to discuss services over the phone and usually when I say no I check them on CE and see they're a phone wanker.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 11 February 2022, 09:36:00 am
Quote from: Milf-glos on 10 February 2022, 10:50:14 am
I've had that too Lush. My hours are clearly visible and had so called dyselxics bothering me, when I point them to my working hours they get shitty.

Even the ones that say I don't know how to read ;D I'm like well you found my advert hunting for pussy so you can clearly read. I cut the call and block.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 11 February 2022, 09:38:54 am
Quote from: Justine on 10 February 2022, 04:57:49 pm
Those who ask on the phone about what services I offer or any other questions which would keep me on the phone, get the quickest polite goodbye from me. If they found my number and didn't read my profile then their bad luck.  I always assume they want free phone fun and all they require is a woman's voice telling them she will do x y and z and they have got their few minutes to finish themselves off.  They could easily have started the self pleasure before I answer so they will hope my voice will take them over the edge.

Not a chance in hell. I have never discussed services over the phone and never will. Those who may be genuine can move on and try someone else.

I totally agree and I am the same. I did not waste my time making my profile details which are clear and easy to read and I have chopped it down many times with price and services mentioned many times just to be asked that stupid question. Lazy timewasting phone cunts
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 11 February 2022, 04:27:52 pm
Do I offer a lift and carry service (I would lift and carry him). But it's ok as he's only 9 stone. Jog on mate.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 12 February 2022, 09:09:34 pm
This bloody joker..

Hey. So I have a little kink that not many are into but here goes. I am professional, clean and honest. I get my kicks from cutting and shaving womens hair completely bald. Not sure why but its a mega turn on. I'll happily pay £1500 for a couple of hours of your time at a decent hotel and if its your thing then I'd love to hear from you. Thanks for reading XX

Fuck off :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 12 February 2022, 11:09:35 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 12 February 2022, 09:09:34 pm
This bloody joker..

Hey. So I have a little kink that not many are into but here goes. I am professional, clean and honest. I get my kicks from cutting and shaving womens hair completely bald. Not sure why but its a mega turn on. I'll happily pay £1500 for a couple of hours of your time at a decent hotel and if its your thing then I'd love to hear from you. Thanks for reading XX

Fuck off :)

Hahahaha.
The way things are slow right now …. Wig + glued down bald cap + some gooood acting. 💸 I’m there 😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: thickthighs on 13 February 2022, 02:15:57 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 11 February 2022, 04:27:52 pm
Do I offer a lift and carry service (I would lift and carry him). But it's ok as he's only 9 stone. Jog on mate.

I’ve seen that one many times as an RB, I’m fascinated by what he gets off on lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 13 February 2022, 09:24:57 pm
Quote from: thickthighs on 13 February 2022, 02:15:57 pm
I’ve seen that one many times as an RB, I’m fascinated by what he gets off on lol

What's RB? Yeah totally, mind you I find it a turn on a man strong enough to pick me up lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissWolf on 13 February 2022, 10:08:01 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 13 February 2022, 09:24:57 pm
What's RB? Yeah totally, mind you I find it a turn on a man strong enough to pick me up lol

Reverse booking,  its available on aw for guys to put up bookings they would like how much they are willing to pay, SP's can then bid on the RB
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 14 February 2022, 07:53:45 am
Quote from: MissWolf on 13 February 2022, 10:08:01 pm
Reverse booking,  its available on aw for guys to put up bookings they would like how much they are willing to pay, SP's can then bid on the RB

Ah yes, never done it x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 14 February 2022, 12:40:28 pm
It’s the pulling teeth that makes me wanna pull my own flipping teeth out. Omg.

“Hey, you available?”
Yes, when would you like to book?
“Today”
Okay, what time, how long a session?
“About 3?”
… that works for me… how long ?
“Half hour”

Ughhhh, what is it about men that they only ever reply to one part of the message. So annoying. 😑
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 14 February 2022, 03:53:04 pm
Quote from: EvelynWho on 14 February 2022, 12:40:28 pm
It’s the pulling teeth that makes me wanna pull my own flipping teeth out. Omg.

“Hey, you available?”
Yes, when would you like to book?
“Today”
Okay, what time, how long a session?
“About 3?”
… that works for me… how long ?
“Half hour”

Ughhhh, what is it about men that they only ever reply to one part of the message. So annoying. 😑

I know lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 15 February 2022, 01:04:38 am
Or they’re trying to be overly helpful with you, & I’m trying not to let on that I’m yes indeed, free as a fucking bird all day tmrw PICK A TIME DAMMIT!!!

Him: “Does Tuesday work for you? Another  day is fine if you’re busy. We don’t have to do Tuesday. Ok Tuesday’s fine? What time’s good? 1? 3? Or I could 10 am?”

Dude!!!!! Pick. A. Lane.🤦🏼‍♀️
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 15 February 2022, 05:47:35 am
This picking a time thing is a frustration of mine, but I think I'm just going to tell it from now on. Be very literal.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 15 February 2022, 07:09:03 am
Me - what sort of time
Them - anything, I'm free all day
Me - 2.30pm then
Them - oh sorry that's too late
Me - this is why I ask you to suggest a time, so you're not actually free all day

Happens all the time!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 15 February 2022, 10:14:26 am
Quote from: Milf-glos on 15 February 2022, 07:09:03 am
Me - what sort of time
Them - anything, I'm free all day
Me - 2.30pm then
Them - oh sorry that's too late
Me - this is why I ask you to suggest a time, so you're not actually free all day

Happens all the time!

I always get them to specify the time first if for no other reason than I don't want them knowing my business.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 15 February 2022, 12:18:31 pm
Quote from: Tickle on 15 February 2022, 10:14:26 am
I always get them to specify the time first if for no other reason than I don't want them knowing my business.

The problem is many just won't, I end up in a roundabout conversation trying to find out the time they want.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 15 February 2022, 12:36:13 pm
Quote from: Mirror on 15 February 2022, 12:18:31 pm
The problem is many just won't, I end up in a roundabout conversation trying to find out the time they want.

I know what you mean! I do wonder about some when I ask what day and time they have in mind whether they begin distancing. Like if I pick up a whiff they were creating the impression of soon but it turns out to be 3-5 days later. In the current climate I'm finding them to be hardcore timewasters. This is odd as before the pandemic I'd have some new clients make an advance booking and then try to bring the day or time forward. This happened quite a lot if they phoned up the day before to confirm tomorrow as on and they couldn't resist seeing me asap so saw me earlier than originally planned.

Just when you think you have clients figured out...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 15 February 2022, 12:54:19 pm
Quote from: Tickle on 15 February 2022, 10:14:26 am
I always get them to specify the time first if for no other reason than I don't want them knowing my business.

I hate being asked what availability I have, feels kind of stalker-ish. I refuse to tell them and ask them to suggest a time.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 15 February 2022, 11:02:45 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 15 February 2022, 12:54:19 pm
I hate being asked what availability I have, feels kind of stalker-ish. I refuse to tell them and ask them to suggest a time.

There is a touch of this! It's also nosy. Like digging a bit too deep into your affairs and trying to get a lock on how busy you are to assess your value. Probably lots of male privilege and unconscious biases in there! I go a bit vague when they ask my availability. Ultimately I'll always fall back on "call when you have a firm time in mind".

As for today I had one call. One. I figured he might be a timewaster as he was failing my questions and he had a bit of a tell when he asked if I don't mind seeing black men. No it's not a bother in principle and yes I have had good clients with dark skin and no I don't profile" but I wasn't born yesterday either. He followed on by saying some women have a thing for black men and I'm thinking "Oh no not another one of them..." Yes he had a CE report. I was tired and went back to bed and decided I couldn't be bothered to get up and change so slept through his booked time. Yes, he was a no show.

One sms this late evening as an advance outcall booking enquiry. Seems polite and says the right words. As for whether he was browsing my profile in bed and felt horny and this evaporates, or is not suitable for some reason time will tell.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 15 February 2022, 11:07:33 pm
Quote from: Tickle on 15 February 2022, 11:02:45 pm
There is a touch of this! It's also nosy. Like digging a bit too deep into your affairs and trying to get a lock on how busy you are to assess your value. Probably lots of male privilege and unconscious biases in there! I go a bit vague when they ask my availability. Ultimately I'll always fall back on "call when you have a firm time in mind".

Eloquently put!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: denise96 on 18 February 2022, 10:15:17 am
Just a text about 10mins ago.
" Hi love, send me your postcode "
 ??? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 18 February 2022, 07:59:20 pm
Quote from: denise96 on 18 February 2022, 10:15:17 am
Just a text about 10mins ago.
" Hi love, send me your postcode "
 ??? ???

Reply would be

"To what end? Just because you're a nosey twat?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 18 February 2022, 09:35:06 pm
Quote from: fallen angel on 18 February 2022, 07:59:20 pm
Reply would be

"To what end? Just because you're a nosey twat?"

Whenever I've asked why they've gone down the line of 'I want to come round now', even when I was outcall only... of course if I communicated outcall only, there'd then follow a series of texts persuading me to sneak them in or make an exception, or meet them outside.  ::)

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 19 February 2022, 11:34:36 am
Quote from: fallen angel on 18 February 2022, 07:59:20 pm
Reply would be

"To what end? Just because you're a nosey twat?"

Pmsl
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 20 February 2022, 05:01:53 pm
Quote from: fallen angel on 18 February 2022, 07:59:20 pm
Reply would be

"To what end? Just because you're a nosey twat?"

I get that, also 'Postcode please?' A LOT  I've just started sending them random locations like Cardiff castle.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 20 February 2022, 09:31:02 pm
"Hey beautiful just wanna know more I'm a first timer"

Even the SMS bots are red flagging...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 20 February 2022, 10:00:10 pm
Quote from: Tickle on 20 February 2022, 09:31:02 pm
"Hey beautiful just wanna know more I'm a first timer"

Even the SMS bots are red flagging...

Lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 21 February 2022, 02:26:16 pm
On AW today...


Subject: how it going

Message: hi


Me = /ignore
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 21 February 2022, 03:03:17 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 21 February 2022, 02:26:16 pm
On AW today...


Subject: how it going

Message: hi


Me = /ignore

Lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: denise96 on 21 February 2022, 05:10:41 pm
This morning.
 Him " hi baby u up? "
 Me : yes since 8am 🤣
 Him . Send postcode
 Me : block
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 21 February 2022, 09:41:15 pm
Quote from: denise96 on 21 February 2022, 05:10:41 pm
This morning.
 Him " hi baby u up? "
 Me : yes since 8am 🤣
 Him . Send postcode
 Me : block

Would have done the same x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 22 February 2022, 12:07:47 am
Sent at almost 4am...this morning.

Hi Hannaah I'd like to book a meeting with you for Saturday 19th February.

Didn't know I could time travel.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 22 February 2022, 12:16:26 am
Quote from: Hannaah on 22 February 2022, 12:07:47 am
Sent at almost 4am...this morning.

Hi Hannaah I'd like to book a meeting with you for Saturday 19th February.

Didn't know I could time travel.  ::)

Now that… is advance booking. Hmm
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Boudoir on 22 February 2022, 11:27:20 am
Text enquiry

Him: I'm interested

Me: In...?

Him: Yes

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 22 February 2022, 12:19:58 pm
I just had another email "enquiry" this morning.

Hey wanna see you
May I ask where you found my details? (it can be relevant depending on the enquiry)
His resply?

net

 ::)








Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 22 February 2022, 02:24:44 pm
Quote from: Dandelion on 22 February 2022, 11:27:20 am
Text enquiry

Him: I'm interested

Me: In...?

Him: Yes

 :FF

Pmsl
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 22 February 2022, 09:26:19 pm
1. Call me at some point in the past so your name gets put in my contact book.
2. Browse website when you are in bed and feel horny and call me outside my hours before wanking off furiously.
3. Don't bother calling to book after "available today" message next day.

That's a good way to be tagged as a timewaster.

Also tonight:

"You available today" sent at 10.32pm. That kind of message at this time of night doesn't ring right. I wonder if these are real people are just some Russian or Indian scambot farm.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 22 February 2022, 11:41:03 pm
Quote from: Justine on 22 February 2022, 12:19:58 pm
I just had another email "enquiry" this morning.

Hey wanna see you
May I ask where you found my details? (it can be relevant depending on the enquiry)
His resply?

net

 ::)

Jussy, I had this, except he said, “Your ad.”

*Resists urge to throttle.*  :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 24 February 2022, 02:02:47 am
Twonk who phoned outside my hours yesterday and who didn't reply to my callback message all day tried his luck ten minutes before my advertised hours ended. My phone was off and I had already marked him as a timewaster. Just call to book at a sensible time, turn up and pay me then fuck me, then go away. It's not complicated! He's already past his one chance and I'm not playing "tease the escorts attention" so blocked him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 24 February 2022, 02:22:10 pm
Quote
I am an IT executive who travels globally. I have teams in London, Hong Kong, São Paulo, and across the US.

Looking to spend some time with a beautiful lady, with a focus on escaping this challenging world

I'm wondering if he meant this for LinkedIn?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: One More Rodeo on 24 February 2022, 09:17:03 pm
Just when you start thinking that you're talking to an actual human, he turns out to be a plonker.  :FF

Got a booking request - he sounded articulate, polite, to the point, and on the spectrum of normal.
I emailed him that I require a deposit.
During a phone call, he asked and I told him I require a deposit and told him how to send it.
On my profile, it says that I require a deposit.

He books a hotel.
I tell him - to confirm, I require a deposit.
He emails back that he forgot about the deposit and is not comfortable. And suggests we do a video call so that he can be sure I'm a "real person".

 :FF I'm so done.  :P :P I get so few inquiries, out of which even less are half-sensible, so it was a bigger disappointment than it should have been.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 25 February 2022, 03:29:25 pm
Email at 6am

'Are you about'

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 25 February 2022, 10:09:29 pm
Subject: Question
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Do you have a Snapchat account


If he bothered to read anything, he'd already know the answer. Either way, how on earth is that at all relevant?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 25 February 2022, 10:20:00 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 25 February 2022, 03:29:25 pm
Email at 6am

'Are you about'

 :FF

Received something similar mine had 'still' on the end.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 25 February 2022, 10:26:40 pm
I get 'Are you around?' Around what, ffs?

The other day I also had 'Where are you?'

'I'm in the kitchen'  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: sammie on 26 February 2022, 12:10:05 am
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'm definitely using that next time I'm at work... 
I'm in the kitchen
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 26 February 2022, 01:40:08 am
I fell asleep early and woke up after midnight. I rarely pick up late night calls as I'm in bed but had one come through around 1.30am. I was awake so out of curiosity... The kind of client I will accept is normally an older man in a hotel who takes at least a minute to think things through before they phone. This caller didn't sound as if he met that profile and wanted a "quick one". Maybe I'm being anxious or paranoid but I said I don't take "walk-ins" and ended the call.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 26 February 2022, 09:34:16 am
Quote from: sammie on 26 February 2022, 12:10:05 am
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'm definitely using that next time I'm at work... 
I'm in the kitchen

😂😂😂😂

Me too, lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 26 February 2022, 01:57:26 pm
Quote from: amy on 25 February 2022, 10:26:40 pm
I get 'Are you around?' Around what, ffs?

The other day I also had 'Where are you?'

'I'm in the kitchen'  ::)

I just emailed back with 'about what?' Didn't get a response.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 26 February 2022, 02:42:55 pm
Him 'Hey! What are your rates and services'  (Wtf? As if this isn't all clearly spelled out in the profile he got my number from)

Me: £300 for a cold look, £450 for a hand wave.

No response, can't think why  >:D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Busty Madeline on 26 February 2022, 03:25:48 pm
Quote from: Nadya on 20 February 2022, 05:01:53 pm
I get that, also 'Postcode please?' A LOT  I've just started sending them random locations like Cardiff castle.

Lol. I share a working flat with my ‘duo’ partner and occasionally if someone asks for the postcode without any other communication, she gives the postcode of our local police station  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 26 February 2022, 06:33:53 pm
“Send pc”

Me: a whole computer? Pricey p&p that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 26 February 2022, 07:48:38 pm
Quote from: EvelynWho on 26 February 2022, 06:33:53 pm
“Send pc”

Me: a whole computer? Pricey p&p that.

Just spat my gin out lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 27 February 2022, 01:58:49 pm
Quote from: Nadya on 26 February 2022, 02:42:55 pm
Him 'Hey! What are your rates and services'  (Wtf? As if this isn't all clearly spelled out in the profile he got my number from)

Me: £300 for a cold look, £450 for a hand wave.

No response, can't think why  >:D
Haha! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 27 February 2022, 01:59:43 pm
Quote from: EvelynWho on 26 February 2022, 06:33:53 pm
“Send pc”

Me: a whole computer? Pricey p&p that.
Hahaha! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 27 February 2022, 04:37:04 pm
Text - I'm looking for rough sex now, you available?

Blocked
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 27 February 2022, 04:40:16 pm
Oh god yes, I do this too, bwahhhhhhh.

“Whereabouts are you?”

“Earth. Welcome!” *Spreads arms wide.*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 27 February 2022, 10:55:54 pm
"Hi would you consider having an affair with a 43 year old married man from Bristol".

Pardon? What is this absolute brain fuckery? Why in God's heaven does he think I am remotely interested in an affair? I'm not his free shag on the side looking to be mentally traumatised and let down. Nor am I a marriage wrecker.

You pay, shag, then go. That's where it begins and ends.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 28 February 2022, 08:23:47 am
Quote from: Tickle on 27 February 2022, 10:55:54 pm
"Hi would you consider having an affair with a 43 year old married man from Bristol".

Pardon? What is this absolute brain fuckery? Why in God's heaven does he think I am remotely interested in an affair? I'm not his free shag on the side looking to be mentally traumatised and let down. Nor am I a marriage wrecker.

You pay, shag, then go. That's where it begins and ends.

I have a male civvy friend who is lovely but has a very on off relationship with his girlfriend. Well, last week he'd broken up with her and asked me if we could be friends with benefits  :o :o
 
Of course I said no and he has no idea what job I do, but still, some men have no idea. Absolutely none whatsoever  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 28 February 2022, 09:47:05 am
Quote from: Tickle on 27 February 2022, 10:55:54 pm
"Hi would you consider having an affair with a 43 year old married man from Bristol".

Pardon? What is this absolute brain fuckery? Why in God's heaven does he think I am remotely interested in an affair? I'm not his free shag on the side looking to be mentally traumatised and let down. Nor am I a marriage wrecker.

You pay, shag, then go. That's where it begins and ends.

Jesus christ!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 01 March 2022, 06:02:41 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 27 February 2022, 04:37:04 pm
Text - I'm looking for rough sex now, you available?

Blocked
Amen!
Lol ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 01 March 2022, 11:05:11 pm
SMS "Hi how are you doing?" which I would naturally ignore followed by a call two hours later which I missed. What am I supposed to do with this? Seriously, men are messing my head up at the moment.

I'm getting nothing but flakes and tyre kickers messaging on AW too.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 02 March 2022, 12:06:25 pm
Quote from: Tickle on 01 March 2022, 11:05:11 pm
SMS "Hi how are you doing?" which I would naturally ignore followed by a call two hours later which I missed. What am I supposed to do with this? Seriously, men are messing my head up at the moment.

I'm getting nothing but flakes and tyre kickers messaging on AW too.

Tyre kickers lol, good way to describe. Yes, most are flakey as hell when they email on AW now. Just flipping call me, it's easier.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 02 March 2022, 05:48:05 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 02 March 2022, 12:06:25 pm
Tyre kickers lol, good way to describe. Yes, most are flakey as hell when they email on AW now. Just flipping call me, it's easier.

This is what I have been thinking! They just need to make up their mind and pick up the phone.

I had a call this morning what what sounded like a youngish Eastern European. He asked how much so I gave him my hourly rate. Really he should know instead of just stopping at my pictures and number. He said he couldn't afford it so I asked how much he had. He had less than my half hour rate so he said he'd call back later if he was able bless his cotton socks. He didn't try to haggle and he was keen and nice enough. I couldn't make up my mind whether to block him or not but too many red flags and I don't want any client who is flaky or risk of a build up of resentment.

I don't charge the highest rates and clients keep saying I'm nice but I can't make it any easier. I'm just not going to respect myself if I work for less or slacken my standards.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: denise96 on 02 March 2022, 06:58:57 pm
One today via whatsapp. He asked about prices and services and I said GFE. Then he asked if he has to wear a condom during sex. I've replied what do you think? Do you have to?  And I've just blocked him. I don't even understand how on earth they even think to ask such thing??!!! It makes me so angry and sick that this people even want that. I know that some girls offer such sex but WTAF!? Don't you think about health, your standards as a person.. it's mental.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 02 March 2022, 08:15:35 pm
Quote from: Tickle on 02 March 2022, 05:48:05 pm
This is what I have been thinking! They just need to make up their mind and pick up the phone.

I had a call this morning what what sounded like a youngish Eastern European. He asked how much so I gave him my hourly rate. Really he should know instead of just stopping at my pictures and number. He said he couldn't afford it so I asked how much he had. He had less than my half hour rate so he said he'd call back later if he was able bless his cotton socks. He didn't try to haggle and he was keen and nice enough. I couldn't make up my mind whether to block him or not but too many red flags and I don't want any client who is flaky or risk of a build up of resentment.

I don't charge the highest rates and clients keep saying I'm nice but I can't make it any easier. I'm just not going to respect myself if I work for less or slacken my standards.

I do find a lot of EE (not all) try and get me cheaper. Whilst your guy didn't haggle he couldn't afford you. I can prob reel off at least 10 EE I've seen who have then texted and offered less than my rate. Nope matey. I get a lot texting saying 'I've got 50£ how much time can I get'. 'Nothing, dear boy's.   I know what you mean though, there have been times I could have done with some money, but if you start off that way with a client they'll take the mick. I had an english guy who phoned and said he didn't have the 30 minute rate but how much could he get for £xx  I stopped doing 15 minutes appts for 1 discretion, and 2 too many booked 15 but needed 30 mins. Told him he needed to find an escort he could afford, I'm probably the cheapest for my age range.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 02 March 2022, 08:16:08 pm
Quote from: denise96 on 02 March 2022, 06:58:57 pm
One today via whatsapp. He asked about prices and services and I said GFE. Then he asked if he has to wear a condom during sex. I've replied what do you think? Do you have to?  And I've just blocked him. I don't even understand how on earth they even think to ask such thing??!!! It makes me so angry and sick that this people even want that. I know that some girls offer such sex but WTAF!? Don't you think about health, your standards as a person.. it's mental.

Idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 03 March 2022, 05:59:32 am
Quote from: Milf-glos on 02 March 2022, 08:15:35 pm
I do find a lot of EE (not all) try and get me cheaper. Whilst your guy didn't haggle he couldn't afford you. I can prob reel off at least 10 EE I've seen who have then texted and offered less than my rate. Nope matey. I get a lot texting saying 'I've got 50£ how much time can I get'. 'Nothing, dear boy's.   I know what you mean though, there have been times I could have done with some money, but if you start off that way with a client they'll take the mick. I had an english guy who phoned and said he didn't have the 30 minute rate but how much could he get for £xx  I stopped doing 15 minutes appts for 1 discretion, and 2 too many booked 15 but needed 30 mins. Told him he needed to find an escort he could afford, I'm probably the cheapest for my age range.

I felt sorry for him and he was polite about things and didn't haggle but as I kept mulling it over I eventually blocked him very much for the reasons you stated. Being nice doesn't mean I'm a soft touch and all the red flags were there.

At the end of the day I have my own health and wellbeing to look after so clients who can't afford me or who are looking for something else like PSE can look elsewhere. I've never been high traffic and don't want to be. I'm the second cheapest bottle of wine in the restaurant so they can't complain. If they want a McDonald's they can go to McDonald's.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 03 March 2022, 03:19:35 pm
I think it's worth bearing in mind that in some cultures haggling is just expected/the norm. It's not necessarily meant in an insulting way (though of course it sometimes is).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 03 March 2022, 06:02:02 pm
Quote from: Kay on 03 March 2022, 03:19:35 pm
I think it's worth bearing in mind that in some cultures haggling is just expected/the norm. It's not necessarily meant in an insulting way (though of course it sometimes is).

Some weeks ago a guy using translate function to contact me offered less than 2/3 of my fee, I had already told him I was fully booked /busy/not available and that I don't use text for enquiries. Having spoken briefly on the phone he told me his English wasn't good enough, had to use the text translator to communicate. He would not take no for an answer, told me how wonderful he would be, then offered me any food I wanted from the kebab shop he worked for.

He'd tried haggling the week before once again after I'd said I didn't have any availability and would only accept full price if I was. I actually told him the second time each time he asked the fee would increase by £10, but had already told him I couldn't see him. I also have plenty of food.

I definitely do not want to be in a room with him!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 03 March 2022, 06:56:48 pm
Quote from: denise96 on 02 March 2022, 06:58:57 pm
One today via whatsapp. He asked about prices and services and I said GFE. Then he asked if he has to wear a condom during sex. I've replied what do you think? Do you have to?  And I've just blocked him. I don't even understand how on earth they even think to ask such thing??!!! It makes me so angry and sick that this people even want that. I know that some girls offer such sex but WTAF!? Don't you think about health, your standards as a person.. it's mental.

There is certainly a lot more men asking for bareback sex then ever before and more sex workers are offering it for sure. It might become the " norm" now like OWO is now and never was.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 03 March 2022, 09:11:23 pm
Quote from: Kay on 03 March 2022, 03:19:35 pm
I think it's worth bearing in mind that in some cultures haggling is just expected/the norm. It's not necessarily meant in an insulting way (though of course it sometimes is).

I state an my profile no haggling, my rates are reasonable and I'm on par/cheaper than many other women my age. I will immediately say no to anyone who can't afford me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 03 March 2022, 09:14:36 pm
Quote from: Mirror on 03 March 2022, 06:02:02 pm
then offered me any food I wanted from the kebab shop he worked for.


Omfg sex for kebabs.... I had one offer me lifts for free sex. I'm a driver and rarely drink when working and rarely do outcalls.... bloody idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 03 March 2022, 09:28:27 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 03 March 2022, 09:14:36 pm
Omfg sex for kebabs.... I had one offer me lifts for free sex. I'm a driver and rarely drink when working and rarely do outcalls.... bloody idiot.

I found that one hilarious. Free kebabs? OMG

I have turned down so many offers from delusional men telling me they can show me a good time. Having a good time with a client is a bonus and yes it happens but it is not something I need to hear to persuade me to see them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 04 March 2022, 05:50:31 am
Quote from: Milf-glos on 03 March 2022, 09:14:36 pm
Omfg sex for kebabs.... I had one offer me lifts for free sex. I'm a driver and rarely drink when working and rarely do outcalls.... bloody idiot.

I've been offered a freezer filling with meat, and free work/service on my car.

My freezer is full.

The mechanic is almost 2 hour drive away (and he knows it).  ::)

A plumber (or so he said) offered me free taps, or any other work.

I've never had a booking with any of these.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 04 March 2022, 10:17:55 pm
When you get a call from some random who lives so far away it's almost not worth them coming to see you so you suggest they find someone nearer .
Or they want you to do something and you refuse but when you tell them to go find another escort who advertises that specific service they say no they want to see you ... :-\
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 05 March 2022, 07:29:00 am
Quote from: Kiss on 04 March 2022, 10:17:55 pm
When you get a call from some random who lives so far away it's almost not worth them coming to see you so you suggest they find someone nearer .
Or they want you to do something and you refuse but when you tell them to go find another escort who advertises that specific service they say no they want to see you ... :-\

Wow I do have clients travel a long way, it's when it's so far that it's difficult for me to visit that I advise they find someone closer.

The service thing is strange, if someone wants to see me has to be without the service I do not do. Had to ban someone for repeatedly trying within bookings.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 06 March 2022, 05:37:53 pm
Quote from: Kiss on 04 March 2022, 10:17:55 pm
When you get a call from some random who lives so far away it's almost not worth them coming to see you so you suggest they find someone nearer .
Or they want you to do something and you refuse but when you tell them to go find another escort who advertises that specific service they say no they want to see you ... :-\

I had someone phone recently recently who said it would take 3 hrs to drive to me.... for a relatively short booking. I said no. Felt like from his messages he'd be a no show anyway.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 06 March 2022, 06:53:31 pm
sent at 1.49am: Are you available now?
Idiot at 2.47am: Hello? Are you available now?
Idiot at 3.01am: I want to come and see you now, why aren't you answering?

Me at 8am when I turn the phone on: because I was sleeping like a normal person. Do you think we sit dressed up 24/7, never needing to eat or sleep?

Idiot:....You should be ready for me. Be ready next time.

There won't be a first time or a next time, dickhead. :FF



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 06 March 2022, 09:40:25 pm
Damn fool: Can you come to (place that's nearly an hour away) for an Outcall?

Me: That's ok, how long do you want!

Damn fool: 30mins

Me: *delete*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 07 March 2022, 07:56:01 am
Quote from: Hannaah on 06 March 2022, 06:53:31 pm
sent at 1.49am: Are you available now?
Idiot at 2.47am: Hello? Are you available now?
Idiot at 3.01am: I want to come and see you now, why aren't you answering?

Me at 8am when I turn the phone on: because I was sleeping like a normal person. Do you think we sit dressed up 24/7, never needing to eat or sleep?

Idiot:....You should be ready for me. Be ready next time.

There won't be a first time or a next time, dickhead. :FF

Yep. Who'd have thought escorts sleep. Missed many a pleasant text at stupid o clock. I get some do work such hours but after 1 text not being answered you would think they'd realise.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 08 March 2022, 07:44:40 am
Quote from: Nadya on 06 March 2022, 09:40:25 pm
Damn fool: Can you come to (place that's nearly an hour away) for an Outcall?

Me: That's ok, how long do you want!

Damn fool: 30mins

Me: *delete*
Haha!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 08 March 2022, 08:35:44 am
Quote from: Hannaah on 06 March 2022, 06:53:31 pm
sent at 1.49am: Are you available now?
Idiot at 2.47am: Hello? Are you available now?
Idiot at 3.01am: I want to come and see you now, why aren't you answering?

Me at 8am when I turn the phone on: because I was sleeping like a normal person. Do you think we sit dressed up 24/7, never needing to eat or sleep?

Idiot:....You should be ready for me. Be ready next time.

There won't be a first time or a next time, dickhead. :FF
I used to also get bookings and texts messages from idiots at ridiculous times in the morning . These  people are pathetic . No genuine client  treats an escort like that .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 08 March 2022, 12:33:58 pm
I don't mind when they call as my phone is off when I'm not working.
They can call all night if they like.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SquirtyQueen on 08 March 2022, 02:34:12 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 08 March 2022, 12:33:58 pm
I don't mind when they call as my phone is off when I'm not working.
They can call all night if they like.
+1 My autoreply is on and it's funny to see how many end up having a conversation with it, it even says autoreply for goodness sake!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 08 March 2022, 03:26:30 pm
It's been crossing my mind to block anyone phoning outside my hours. Given the pandemic put paid to mature clients in hotels feeling desperate I'm not sure I want to meet the type of client who phones after midnight or early in the morning.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 08 March 2022, 04:01:23 pm
Quote from: Tickle on 08 March 2022, 03:26:30 pm
It's been crossing my mind to block anyone phoning outside my hours. Given the pandemic put paid to mature clients in hotels feeling desperate I'm not sure I want to meet the type of client who phones after midnight or early in the morning.

Absolutely. I label them as 1am caller etc. When I have actually spoken to them at a decent hour they did not sound like the type of client I actually wanted to see. My hrs are clearly listed and it just shows they don't read a single thing.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: thickthighs on 08 March 2022, 04:03:58 pm
I don’t mean to be rude, but if you are unhappy about clients calling outside your work hours turn your phone off  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 08 March 2022, 04:33:23 pm
Email asking to see me but don't want to pay my new rates as he got it cheaper elsewhere!
To which I didn't bother replying
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 08 March 2022, 06:30:09 pm
Quote from: thickthighs on 08 March 2022, 04:03:58 pm
I don’t mean to be rude, but if you are unhappy about clients calling outside your work hours turn your phone off  :FF

Sorry I wasn't clear. Yes my phone is off outside my hours.

As my old client base evaporated with the pandemic (which included mature businessmen stuck in hotels) most of the out of hours calls I have picked up when I've had insomnia and been at my desk have been undesireables. I used to tag out of hours calls I missed as OOH (Out of Hours) but now save the bother and just tag them as blocked and block them. In fact one reason why I picked the hours I did was to avoid early morning van drivers and drunks who had just left the pub and fancied a shag.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 08 March 2022, 08:14:13 pm
Quote from: thickthighs on 08 March 2022, 04:03:58 pm
I don’t mean to be rude, but if you are unhappy about clients calling outside your work hours turn your phone off  :FF

I stick it on silent.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: thickthighs on 08 March 2022, 09:18:09 pm
Quote from: Milf-glos on 08 March 2022, 08:14:13 pm
I stick it on silent.

Exactly  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 09 March 2022, 03:39:41 am
Off, silent, do not disturb, whatever. Who cares about the pedantry? I'm still annoyed about "I don't mean to be rude but..." with a headbashing icon. That was unwarranted and my gracious clarification skipped past. I know how to read that one.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 09 March 2022, 06:01:45 am
I recently discovered airplane mode, very useful.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 09 March 2022, 07:47:10 am
Quote from: Mirror on 09 March 2022, 06:01:45 am
I recently discovered airplane mode, very useful.
It's a good 1 as the alarm still goes off to wake me in the morning
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 09 March 2022, 10:27:09 pm
Quote
Good evening,

My name is KKKKK and i am a 45 year old stockbroker based in Belgravia.

I would love to have a chat about getting a date in the diary to meet!

Hopefully speak soon,

KKKKK xxx

A cut & paste message if ever I read one, and a useless one at that where he couldn’t even be bothered to add my name.  The cherry on top are the xxx at the end. Nothing makes me cringe more than a complete stranger signing off this way.

Those who are serious about making a booking use my booking form. This message was sent via my contact form which is a great screening out tool - I find that every single message here is a variation of the above, and contains none of the information I actually need or even stipulate be sent. This is why this particular form goes to an email address I check sporadically as there is never anything worth following up in it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 13 March 2022, 07:54:42 am
Text last night offering me free uncut coke sample as an AW special, delivered.... wtaf????
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 13 March 2022, 08:42:41 am
Quote from: Milf-G on 13 March 2022, 07:54:42 am
Text last night offering me free uncut coke sample as an AW special, delivered.... wtaf????

Of course they think that's what we all want !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 13 March 2022, 01:13:40 pm
Quote from: Kiss on 13 March 2022, 08:42:41 am
Of course they think that's what we all want !

Yeah, we're all party girls and work 24/7
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 13 March 2022, 01:16:53 pm
Quote from: Milf-G on 13 March 2022, 07:54:42 am
Text last night offering me free uncut coke sample as an AW special, delivered.... wtaf????

Oh I get similar texts from AW 'traders' for years but not the samples offer! That's a new wrinkle.
but surely that's just a dealer of recreationals, not a hopefull trying to book?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 13 March 2022, 02:20:52 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 13 March 2022, 01:16:53 pm
Oh I get similar texts from AW 'traders' for years but not the samples offer! That's a new wrinkle.
but surely that's just a dealer of recreationals, not a hopefull trying to book?

Sample gets you hooked (or you like it better than your current supply), you start ordering from him. Or he delivers the sample and then starts getting heavy with you that you owe him or similar shit.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 13 March 2022, 07:20:03 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 13 March 2022, 02:20:52 pm
Sample gets you hooked (or you like it better than your current supply), you start ordering from him. Or he delivers the sample and then starts getting heavy with you that you owe him or similar shit.

Exactly, and prob wants to then pimp you out. I don't do drugs, never have. I'd rather have a nice holiday or a new car. No offence to anyone who does though. Live you life your way.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 14 March 2022, 12:53:47 pm
Phone call yesterday
'Just wondering if you're interested in meeting me?'

Rolled my eyes. Unless you're drop dead gorgeous with a massive dick I'm only interested in the money.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 14 March 2022, 01:20:11 pm
This was a phone call and he was a Liverpool guy accent

Idiot: How much for 5mins
Bearing in mind I do outcalls only and the minimum booking is 1hour but I wanted to entertain this fool as I am bored waiting for my train.
Me: Two Hundred pounds.
Idiot: How much for 5mins
Me: Two Hundred pounds.
Idiot hangs up the phone
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 14 March 2022, 01:40:08 pm
Quote from: Dynamite Doll on 14 March 2022, 01:20:11 pm
This was a phone call and he was a Liverpool guy accent

Idiot: How much for 5mins
Bearing in mind I do outcalls only and the minimum booking is 1hour but I wanted to entertain this fool as I am bored waiting for my train.
Me: Two Hundred pounds.
Idiot: How much for 5mins
Me: Two Hundred pounds.
Idiot hangs up the phone
He really has that coming silly man !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 15 March 2022, 12:55:39 pm
What does this text even mean?

"1 time in cm 1 time anal. How mach"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 15 March 2022, 01:12:01 pm
Quote from: Nadya on 15 March 2022, 12:55:39 pm
What does this text even mean?

"1 time in cm 1 time anal. How mach"

Means he's an idiot lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Scarlettwoman on 15 March 2022, 07:21:51 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 15 March 2022, 09:48:26 pm
Quote from: Nadya on 15 March 2022, 12:55:39 pm
What does this text even mean?

"1 time in cm 1 time anal. How mach"

Jesus how do these men function in the real world!?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 15 March 2022, 11:03:16 pm
Him (at 10am) 'are you working today?'
Green light AT is on
Me 'yes'
Him 'what time are you working until'
Me 'it's on my profile'
Him 'oh, you available now?'
Me 'so what was the point of asking me what time I was working until if you want now?'
Him 'oh sorry'
Me 'depends on duration, how long for?'
Him 'oh I don't know'
Me ' well call when you know'
Blocked. 3rd time he has done this to me now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 19 March 2022, 08:33:22 am
Quote from: fallen angel on 15 March 2022, 09:48:26 pm
Jesus how do these men function in the real world!?
They don't function in the world and we have to experience their sheer idiotic crap
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 21 March 2022, 03:49:50 pm
Him- 'Would you be happy with seeing a couple in early April?'

ME - Sure, depends on the details but sounds fine.

Him - The details are, Me - 50+ silver fox blah blah blah interested in chill evening with drinks and fun at an hotel (near me).

Me - Sure, just get back to me when you have a definite date, that's fine.

him 'I already wrote it before 4/4 5/4.'  (where dis?)

Me 'Thank you, it just said early April but I am glad to have the actual date'

Him 'I will pass, sarcasm isn't attractive blocked'


Nice little hissy fit you have there considering you don't realise that 'early April' is not a precise date for a person to plan their diary over but okurrrrrrrr......
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 21 March 2022, 05:10:35 pm
Quote from: Nadya on 21 March 2022, 03:49:50 pm
Him- 'Would you be happy with seeing a couple in early April?'

ME - Sure, depends on the details but sounds fine.

Him - The details are, Me - 50+ silver fox blah blah blah interested in chill evening with drinks and fun at an hotel (near me).

Me - Sure, just get back to me when you have a definite date, that's fine.

him 'I already wrote it before 4/4 5/4.'  (where dis?)

Me 'Thank you, it just said early April but I am glad to have the actual date'

Him 'I will pass, sarcasm isn't attractive blocked'


Nice little hissy fit you have there considering you don't realise that 'early April' is not a precise date for a person to plan their diary over but okurrrrrrrr......

In other words he already wrote the date to the other WG he was contacting and now can't remember. Idiot.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 21 March 2022, 06:08:33 pm
Quote from: Milf-G on 21 March 2022, 05:10:35 pm
In other words he already wrote the date to the other WG he was contacting and now can't remember. Idiot.

You would think he would check what exactly he wrote to me before going off but nope, showin his ass instead.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 26 March 2022, 09:23:27 pm
This idiot asks for a service I don't provide yet he did not read my profile.  I wanted him to repeat himself twice before I hang up and block.

Phone rings
Me: Hello
Idiot: Are you available for a car meet
Me: Pardon
Idiot: Are you available for a car meet

I was so fast to press the red button to hang up and blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Redsnow on 02 April 2022, 02:23:20 pm
Asswipe: You free beautiful
Me: Automessage comes in
Asswipe: *obviously can’t answer everything required cause he isn’t looking to make a booking*
Me: Answer this again and put all the info I asked accordingly
Asswipe: I’m sorry “beautiful” ((( :FF))) I have a request. If you went to toilet for Number 2…would you be okay with me licking your ass straight after x
BLOCKED IMMEDIATELY  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 02 April 2022, 07:46:04 pm
Quote from: Redsnow on 02 April 2022, 02:23:20 pm
Asswipe: You free beautiful
Me: Automessage comes in
Asswipe: *obviously can’t answer everything required cause he isn’t looking to make a booking*
Me: Answer this again and put all the info I asked accordingly
Asswipe: I’m sorry “beautiful” ((( :FF))) I have a request. If you went to toilet for Number 2…would you be okay with me licking your ass straight after x
BLOCKED IMMEDIATELY  ;D

Vomit. I had one bloke message asking me to defecate in front of him and allow him to wipe me and lick me after. He uses 3 different numbers and is a total weirdo.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 02 April 2022, 07:47:57 pm
Him (texts) - I saw your advert
Me - (checks app and sees he has multiple reports for sending the same) good for you, feel free to have a read
Him - I have

Nothing else.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 03 April 2022, 01:20:36 pm
Time waster calling wanting to get off on asking dumb questions .claimed to want to explore woman bit wants strap on and asks me what size he would need .should he have small or big ?!. To which I just cut his call
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 03 April 2022, 06:49:21 pm
Email this morning
Hi I'm Scott

Nothing else.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 03 April 2022, 07:51:45 pm
I wonder if you would consider fisting
Don't worry if you've not done it before I can show you
To which I blocked him  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 03 April 2022, 11:11:57 pm
Email to prossie email account

Subject - outcall

Nothing else
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 04 April 2022, 08:34:19 am
Quote from: Milf-G on 03 April 2022, 11:11:57 pm
Email to prossie email account

Subject - outcall

Nothing else
But youre  supposed to know everything from that ! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 04 April 2022, 12:02:18 pm
Quote from: Kiss on 04 April 2022, 08:34:19 am
But youre  supposed to know everything from that ! :FF

I missed the escort lecture on being psychic. I'm such a bad hoe.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 05 April 2022, 01:26:05 pm
Quote from: Milf-G on 02 April 2022, 07:46:04 pm
Vomit. I had one bloke message asking me to defecate in front of him and allow him to wipe me and lick me after. He uses 3 different numbers and is a total weirdo.

There are a few out there asking for farting in your face also.  How explicit do you need to be to dissuade these guys? Urgh.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 05 April 2022, 03:13:06 pm
I'm a naughty kinky hairdresser and would love to cut your hair during an ultra kinky session.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 05 April 2022, 05:44:17 pm
Quote from: Milf-G on 05 April 2022, 03:13:06 pm
I'm a naughty kinky hairdresser and would love to cut your hair during an ultra kinky session.

Fuck that. Would never let any of them near my hair or near me with something that can be used as a weapon!


Today's gem:

I really like your profile
Would you consider a very short, easy booking?
5 / 10 mins, no sex or bj
All i'd like is to see you in a thong, to smell your feet as i wank and finish with cum on you?
To make it more worth your while, id like to see you very regular
You don't need to dress up or anything, very easy, very quick
Let me know
Thanks

Checked his profile: Emails sent: 2k+.  Bookings made: 0. What a surprise!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 06 April 2022, 07:13:44 am
Quote from: Hannaah on 05 April 2022, 05:44:17 pm
Fuck that. Would never let any of them near my hair or near me with something that can be used as a weapon!


Today's gem:

I really like your profile
Would you consider a very short, easy booking?
5 / 10 mins, no sex or bj
All i'd like is to see you in a thong, to smell your feet as i wank and finish with cum on you?
To make it more worth your while, id like to see you very regular
You don't need to dress up or anything, very easy, very quick
Let me know
Thanks

Checked his profile: Emails sent: 2k+.  Bookings made: 0. What a surprise!

How do you check those details out? That's good info to have 😊
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 06 April 2022, 07:54:48 am
Quote from: Gypsy on 06 April 2022, 07:13:44 am
How do you check those details out? That's good info to have 😊

If they have an alias account, ie have two or more accounts AW think are the same person or log in you can see these details;
Date account created
Emails sent
Bookings made
Last log in

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissElvira on 06 April 2022, 12:48:48 pm
Had one today, Wanted to tell him to F off

Zero feedback on AW Him..."May I book a time today at 3pm
For one hour baby
thanks"

My Reply Sorry but I am not available today at 3pm.

Him...Are you available today
Why not give me a answer
Yes or no

Me...Can you tell me what time you want?

Him...Come on baby I'm really hard fou you.

Luckily he gave me his number so I can block him.

Really gets me when they think that their demanding rude messages will actually get a booking.

Hope he enjoys sitting in Sainsburys carpark at 4pm today lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jessica_Hannah on 06 April 2022, 07:26:04 pm
Had one joker today.

"I'm going to organise a gangbang with one girl and 20 men and want you to be the girl. Just so I know you are the right girl for the job, can I have a free
session with you so I can make judgement before organising it?"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissWolf on 06 April 2022, 07:34:54 pm
Had this diamond  yesterday.......nothing dirty mind   ::)

hi
i just wanted to watch you pee fart and poo for me
wipe you after and play with your body
no sex or any dirty things
thanks
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 06 April 2022, 07:51:10 pm
Quote from: MissWolf on 06 April 2022, 07:34:54 pm
Had this diamond  yesterday.......nothing dirty mind   ::)

hi
i just wanted to watch you pee fart and poo for me
wipe you after and play with your body
no sex or any dirty things
thanks

Was his name Lee?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 06 April 2022, 07:51:40 pm
Quote from: Jessica_Hannah on 06 April 2022, 07:26:04 pm
Had one joker today.

"I'm going to organise a gangbang with one girl and 20 men and want you to be the girl. Just so I know you are the right girl for the job, can I have a free
session with you so I can make judgement before organising it?"

Pmsl
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissWolf on 06 April 2022, 09:34:08 pm
Quote from: Milf-G on 06 April 2022, 07:51:10 pm
Was his name Lee?

Yes  ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 06 April 2022, 09:54:35 pm
Quote from: MissWolf on 06 April 2022, 09:34:08 pm
Yes  ;D ;D

Had him before  on 3 different numbers. Message me if you want the other numbers. He's persistent x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissWolf on 07 April 2022, 08:52:20 am
Quote from: Milf-G on 06 April 2022, 09:54:35 pm
Had him before  on 3 different numbers. Message me if you want the other numbers. He's persistent x

I don't have a number displayed so this was through AW,  he can be as persistent as he likes cos I blocked him so his messages will just float around in the ether getting dusty  ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 07 April 2022, 10:48:57 am
Quote from: MissWolf on 07 April 2022, 08:52:20 am
I don't have a number displayed so this was through AW,  he can be as persistent as he likes cos I blocked him so his messages will just float around in the ether getting dusty  ;D ;D

I gave him my number and have now had him whatsapp me from 3 different numbers. Absolute weirdo with loads of reports on all 3 numbers.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 07 April 2022, 04:07:10 pm


Subject: Hi Kay

Message: Wonderer if you'd be around later?


Firstly - who the fuck is Kay?? That isn't even "Cat" spelled wrong! Secondly - around where?? Here? There?

/ignored
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 07 April 2022, 08:44:24 pm
Quote from: Jessica_Hannah on 06 April 2022, 07:26:04 pm
Had one joker today.

"I'm going to organise a gangbang with one girl and 20 men and want you to be the girl. Just so I know you are the right girl for the job, can I have a free
session with you so I can make judgement before organising it?"

Well you said YES, didn’t you??🤷🏼‍♀️ Can’t pass up that offer!!!

“You sure can! The session will be £300 though. I still need to be paid for my TIME.”
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 07 April 2022, 09:35:41 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 07 April 2022, 04:07:10 pm

Subject: Hi Kay

Message: Wonderer if you'd be around later?


Firstly - who the fuck is Kay?? That isn't even "Cat" spelled wrong! Secondly - around where?? Here? There?

/ignored

Lol, I sometimes reply with 'around what' when they ask that. Just read my fucking profile and give me a bloody time a duration.

When they text 'are you free' sometimes I reply with, nah you have to pay for my time always. Again hist give me a fucking time and duration. It ain't that hard.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 08 April 2022, 04:41:55 am
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 07 April 2022, 04:07:10 pm

Subject: Hi Kay

Message: Wonderer if you'd be around later?


Firstly - who the fuck is Kay?? That isn't even "Cat" spelled wrong! Secondly - around where?? Here? There?

/ignored

Waves!  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 08 April 2022, 03:07:24 pm
Quote from: Kay on 08 April 2022, 04:41:55 am
Waves!  :D

LMAO - I totally thought of you when the message arrived, but I didn't send him over to your profile, you'll be glad to know  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Scarlettwoman on 08 April 2022, 09:02:44 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jessica_Hannah on 11 April 2022, 05:31:36 pm
Was going to post a screenshot but can't upload pics. Anyway, I think I may have won this thread.

"We am wanting to hire you for fun

you must be willing to do public fucking swallowing cum and gangbangs
it will be very hardcore for you and you may wish you had died.
we will fuck your throat until you puke and you will lick it clean.
we will fuck your arse until you cry to stop and then we will fuck it more
do you like old man cock too? we have elderly men who want one last fuck before death.
money is no object. we are in Dubai. We will fly you first class and treat you like
filth for the sex
you are a good whore you will get financial reward."


Where do I sign up? This sounds like a dream come true!  ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 11 April 2022, 05:45:43 pm
^^ I’m clearly doing something very very wrong as I never get wonderful offers like that. Damn it!

And yes, Jessie_Hannah, I think you have definitely won this!   ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lady Frog on 11 April 2022, 07:33:35 pm
Quote from: Jessica_Hannah on 11 April 2022, 05:31:36 pm
"We am wanting

LOL thought he was gonna be from Dudley not Dubai 😂😂🤣
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 11 April 2022, 08:45:56 pm
Yay...that's the Black Country turn of phrase right there our kid! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 11 April 2022, 10:28:13 pm
Jessica_Hannah ' you jumped at the polite request, yes?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 12 April 2022, 10:34:02 am
Happy to be arrested in Dubai for public sex !!!
What a request  :o
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jessica_Hannah on 12 April 2022, 10:51:21 am
Quote from: Milf-G on 11 April 2022, 10:28:13 pm
Jessica_Hannah ' you jumped at the polite request, yes?

I couldn't say yes fast enough.  ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: thickthighs on 12 April 2022, 12:34:47 pm
Fuck that’s awful, yuk
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 12 April 2022, 02:06:17 pm
-What would you like to book?
-----EVERYTHING  :P  :P  :P
-Ring back when you know exactly
------ok :'(

They never do.
I don't think they're necessarily being rude, just not the most eloquent communicaters.

Other times I've said....
All my 36 likes? yes sure £50 each.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 12 April 2022, 05:19:39 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 12 April 2022, 02:06:17 pm

Other times I've said....
All my 36 likes? yes sure £50 each.

Good one lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 12 April 2022, 06:12:28 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 13 April 2022, 01:24:54 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 12 April 2022, 02:06:17 pm
-What would you like to book?
-----EVERYTHING  :P  :P  :P
-Ring back when you know exactly
------ok :'(

They never do.
I don't think they're necessarily being rude, just not the most eloquent communicaters.

Other times I've said....
All my 36 likes? yes sure £50 each.
😆
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 13 April 2022, 02:46:27 pm
 ;D ha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 13 April 2022, 03:14:08 pm
Quote from: Jessica_Hannah on 11 April 2022, 05:31:36 pm
Was going to post a screenshot but can't upload pics. Anyway, I think I may have won this thread.

"We am wanting to hire you for fun

you must be willing to do public fucking swallowing cum and gangbangs
it will be very hardcore for you and you may wish you had died.
we will fuck your throat until you puke and you will lick it clean.
we will fuck your arse until you cry to stop and then we will fuck it more
do you like old man cock too? we have elderly men who want one last fuck before death.
money is no object. we are in Dubai. We will fly you first class and treat you like
filth for the sex
you are a good whore you will get financial reward."


Where do I sign up? This sounds like a dream come true!  ;D ;D

Good christ. If I want to cry I’ll just go back to my ex husband🙄. Bloody hell, that’s awful.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: HiddenTalents02 on 13 April 2022, 11:18:31 pm
A friends story which made me laugh.

Client: can you do outcall to *much too far destination*
Her: no sorry that’s too far
Client: don’t you drive??
Her: yes but you are too far
Client: but *another escort in same area* does it!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 14 April 2022, 03:19:13 pm
He rang with a surge of false jollity to book an outcall and at the end did the trick I hate-the late reveal!

He said laughingly... is bank transfer ok?  :P
I said no, why not pay in cash?
'I'm too lazy'. 8)
'No'

Rang the following day saying he didn't feel lazy any more and will pay in cash.
I said, 'I don't think we're compatible'.

Lazy (dodgy) client, bank transfers (late reveal) , and presumably he couldn't find a mug in the past 24 hrs to accept his late breaking offer.
Putting my shoes on for that? Nahh
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Scarlettwoman on 14 April 2022, 04:52:38 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 14 April 2022, 05:31:31 pm
Quote from: Scarlettwoman
I feel bad like I should have given him a bit more leeway time wise.

No, you did the right thing. He had no qualms about being late/not valuing your time. Men like him don’t learn, so there’s no point indulging him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 14 April 2022, 07:39:53 pm
Quote from: Scarlettwoman on 14 April 2022, 04:52:38 pm
One that requested 30mins at 4pm or later which I agreed to.

He was a few mins late after 4 and had two CE reports so I was wary. I binned him after being just a couple of minutes late, so when he said straight after that he was parked I told him it'd have to be a shorter booking.

He replied 5 mins later asking if it's wrong that he expects the time he pays for so I said "not if you can't turn up on time". I also reminded him he's the one that asked for 4pm not me.

He said that he was here now and called me at 4.14. I told him he was late and told him I was booked at 4.45bfor an hour and he said "OK" and put phone down on me 

I know he's clearly a dick but I feel bad like I should have given him a bit more leeway time wise. Saying that, I didn't trust him for having a couple of reports.

I wouldn't have seen him either. Fair enough if they tell me they are running late a few mins and I don't have anything else booked but it's the lack of respect that bothers me. Men like that need to learn some manners.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 14 April 2022, 10:12:50 pm
Quote from: Scarlettwoman on 14 April 2022, 04:52:38 pm
One that requested 30mins at 4pm or later which I agreed to.

He was a few mins late after 4 and had two CE reports so I was wary. I binned him after being just a couple of minutes late, so when he said straight after that he was parked I told him it'd have to be a shorter booking.

He replied 5 mins later asking if it's wrong that he expects the time he pays for so I said "not if you can't turn up on time". I also reminded him he's the one that asked for 4pm not me.

He said that he was here now and called me at 4.14. I told him he was late and told him I was booked at 4.45bfor an hour and he said "OK" and put phone down on me 

I know he's clearly a dick but I feel bad like I should have given him a bit more leeway time wise. Saying that, I didn't trust him for having a couple of reports.

You are right. I would have done exactly the same. But I would not have even considered him with the warnings. Good for you.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Scarlettwoman on 15 April 2022, 07:11:41 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Scarlettwoman on 17 April 2022, 09:34:48 am
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 17 April 2022, 09:38:00 am
Quote from: Scarlettwoman on 17 April 2022, 09:34:48 am
Think this is the daftest one yet

Him: Hey,
I am looking for a girl who would be up for me coming to there covering there sexy naked body from head to toe in emulsion (house paint) then fuck them as it dry’s. Is this something you would be up for?

Me: sorry I prefer a gloss finish

 ;D  Perfect!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 17 April 2022, 07:45:19 pm
Email this evening
Headed : please answer asap
Can I get a BJ in my car ?

Of course please put a 7 hour booking through 😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 18 April 2022, 04:22:26 pm
Quote from: Scarlettwoman on 17 April 2022, 09:34:48 am
Think this is the daftest one yet

Him: Hey,
I am looking for a girl who would be up for me coming to there covering there sexy naked body from head to toe in emulsion (house paint) then fuck them as it dry’s. Is this something you would be up for?

Me: sorry I prefer a gloss finish
Haha! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Scarlettwoman on 19 April 2022, 10:06:23 am
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 20 April 2022, 11:50:41 am


SUBJECT: hello

MESSAGE: I want to make a booking 01234567890 {his phone number}


Good for you. Keep wanting /shrugs
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 21 April 2022, 08:22:56 am
Quote from: Scarlettwoman on 19 April 2022, 10:06:23 am
Had one that messaged me other week asking if I was free 10am 19 April to which I replied "yes".

I heard no more from him and he texted five mins ago to say he's parked up. I'm not there because in my mind he never really made a booking  ::)

Haha did  you explain eventually or just ignore? Serves him right for assuming.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Scarlettwoman on 21 April 2022, 10:10:22 am
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 21 April 2022, 12:27:45 pm
Quote from: Scarlettwoman on 21 April 2022, 10:10:22 am
I did reply and say 'oh well I never heard from you' and he apologised but still asked to see me.

I gave him my alternative location at the time which didn't register with him as he said he was parked near my usual incall and could he come over   :FF

When he finally realised I wasn't there and was somewhere else he cancelled.  ;D

Years ago someone I'd seen previously pushed for me to squeeze him in before an optician appointment. I asked when did he last visit me, the answer was a time span after I'd moved location. Phoned me to ask why I wasn't answering the door bell. He'd seen me well before I moved, by the time he got to current location it was too late. I had to go to my appointment.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 24 April 2022, 02:41:48 am
Subject: Loving ?the thickness of that body of yours beautiful
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi baby how's you doing got to say that I'm loving ? the thickness of that body of yours beautiful ?? and I bet that you've got a nice fat juicy pussy because i love to eat pussy for hours and hours till I make it come over and over again especially if it's nice fat and juicy baby and then you could have my long cuverd black cock in your juicy pussy that's if you like a good long cuverd black cock sexy mami xx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 24 April 2022, 05:20:21 am
Quote from: Hannaah on 24 April 2022, 02:41:48 am
Subject: Loving ?the thickness of that body of yours beautiful
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi baby how's you doing got to say that I'm loving ? the thickness of that body of yours beautiful ?? and I bet that you've got a nice fat juicy pussy because i love to eat pussy for hours and hours till I make it come over and over again especially if it's nice fat and juicy baby and then you could have my long cuverd black cock in your juicy pussy that's if you like a good long cuverd black cock sexy mami xx
Why do they think we  want to read all this kind of stuff 😩
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 24 April 2022, 08:57:30 am
Quote from: Hannaah on 24 April 2022, 02:41:48 am
Subject: Loving ?the thickness of that body of yours beautiful
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi baby how's you doing got to say that I'm loving ? the thickness of that body of yours beautiful ?? and I bet that you've got a nice fat juicy pussy because i love to eat pussy for hours and hours till I make it come over and over again especially if it's nice fat and juicy baby and then you could have my long cuverd black cock in your juicy pussy that's if you like a good long cuverd black cock sexy mami xx

I follow a page on fb called 'men failing at erotica' - this is perfect for it lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 24 April 2022, 09:45:10 pm
More importantly, why do they think we’re interested in having that done “for hours & hours.”

The ONLY thing I do consistently these days for hours & hours is sleep🙄💤😴 💤 😴.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: EvelynWho on 25 April 2022, 11:04:45 am
“hy if i am a bi curios male open mind 32 old, can you teach me to suck your clients cock for you and to earn extra money for you

He got my auto reply. (Which basically asks for a text).

A day later:
“thk for ignoring me i wish you like all your clients to do the same with you”

 ??? :P ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 26 April 2022, 01:45:47 pm
Rando text

'Wot size ru?'

(How about a long tall glass of Fuck off?)

Urgh.....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 28 April 2022, 09:48:26 pm
Quote from: Milf-G on 24 April 2022, 08:57:30 am
I follow a page on fb called 'men failing at erotica' - this is perfect for it lol

Ha! I actually blocked him with the reason "erotica fail."  ;D

Quote from: CelesteManchester on 24 April 2022, 09:45:10 pm
More importantly, why do they think we’re interested in having that done “for hours & hours.”

The ONLY thing I do consistently these days for hours & hours is sleep🙄💤😴 💤 😴.

Right? I hate RO. It's boring and does nothing for me. I don't even like it from my partner, never mind some random!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 04 May 2022, 01:35:10 am


I refuse to believe this is anything other than a wind-up tbh  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissWolf on 04 May 2022, 10:04:40 am
Quote from: Miffy on 04 May 2022, 01:35:10 am
I refuse to believe this is anything other than a wind-up tbh  ;D

Oh go on you just have to reply, even if its just to update us lot on what comes back  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 04 May 2022, 04:16:02 pm
Having LIVED in Kentucky myself, I can tell you right now he speaks/writes far too well to actually be from that state.

Or if he IS, he’s had some legitimate schooling. That whole good-ole-boy routine is just to impress you slash throw you off so you don’t notice he doesn’t have any way to screen.

Tread carefully.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 04 May 2022, 04:38:52 pm
Celeste,

My first instinct, particularly given he misspelt hillbilly not once but twice was that this is some British guy who has been watching too much Ozark. As it was early hours, I was able to catch a US friend in real time. She’s Louisville born and raised. She said similar to you and doesn’t believe he’s from anywhere near the Appalachian mountains or from the US for that matter.

Believe me, I had to curb every instinct not to rip his message apart but I suspect he was looking for some kind of reaction - I refuse to do this, so treaded very carefully. Like the polite and professional woman I am,  I replied -

Quote
Thank you for such an engaging message, it is appreciated. Regrettably I am unavailable to meet you.

And it’s true, I am unavailable and will always be unavailable to anyone who sends messages like this/which do not include any salient information such as date, time, duration etc etc.


Quote from: MissWolf on 04 May 2022, 10:04:40 am
Oh go on you just have to reply, even if its just to update us lot on what comes back  ;D

Will keep you posted. Sadly I doubt it, but if he does, shall I send him your way?  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 04 May 2022, 11:47:53 pm
Hahahahaha awesome Miffs! Good on ya GF😁.

Just reread his message ….. he’s far too articulate for that area😂. Sorry if that’s profiling, but where’s there’s smoke💨, there’s fire🔥🤷🏼‍♀️.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissWolf on 05 May 2022, 01:07:12 am
Quote from: Miffy on 04 May 2022, 04:38:52 pm


Will keep you posted. Sadly I doubt it, but if he does, shall I send him your way?  ;D

Just checked my diary and sadly it appears I'm busy and fully booked till a year next December, but thanks for the offer ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 06 May 2022, 01:50:56 am
Quote from: MissWolf on 05 May 2022, 01:07:12 am
Just checked my diary and sadly it appears I'm busy and fully booked till a year next December, but thanks for the offer ;D
Classic answer 😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 06 May 2022, 09:23:11 pm
Rings me instead of messaging so that's a good start...

Him: Hi how are you? Was just looking to have a quick chat about potential booking if possible Thanks
Me: I don't do chats, it's text only. Did you have a time in mind?
Him: No worries early next week, plan to be working in xxx
Me: Yep, still too vague to be able to confirm or deny
Him: Not 100% sure on exact day Would be two hours for sure but perhaps best I text when I know definite information Just wasn't sure how much notice you needed
Me: How can I give you info on notice when I have no idea when you want an appointment?

Is it me or?

This charmer I saw once before the pandemic, he's pissed about and time wasted since then..

Him: Hi, hope you are well? You look amazing, please don't be offended, but have you lost weight? Do you remember me, it was a long time ago?

I remember him being a first timer and after he left he proceeded to text me as if we were in a bloody relationship and I had to block him!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 06 May 2022, 10:10:09 pm
Urgh SW classic tyre kickers
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 07 May 2022, 11:12:29 am
Asks about incalls even though you only offer outcalls (made clear by only outcalls being available to book and mentioning this in your profile) and promises to be discrete and/or tells you to check their feedback as if that makes a difference. One man was saying he wanted to marry me when inquiring about booking, then got angry with me when I informed him it would be outcall only. I've had a few others message me then act disappointed when I've reiterated what my profile clearly states, saying I would have been perfect otherwise. Also I had one person ask if I could do an hour for two thirds of my price because he would have to pay for a hotel which is an extra expense for him and would be willing to pick me up and drop me off, and "other girls have agreed to do it for that price".  ::) I understand money can be a barrier to potential clients, but I'm trying to make a living here. A lot of potential clients seem to think it's my problem that they're cheating on their wives or living with family, even though hotels exist.

Keeps pestering about car meets despite you saying you do not do these, which also tends to involve them telling you to check their feedback.

Asks for images and videos for free. I understand wanting to see what I look like, but my profile shows my body (not explicit but you can clearly see what my figure looks like) and even my face.

Expects constant text/message communication before a first meeting has even been arranged. Worst are the ones who act all clingy and possessive before you've even met and get upset when you don't reply to their messages straight away.

One man messaged me saying he was looking for a relationship, so no paid meets. Apparently all his exes were escorts and he was on the website because he found women in the industry to be more genuine than people on dating apps. Sure, nothing to do with wanting free sex from escorts. I laughed at first when I read the message but really it's quite insulting to message people trying to make a living without any intention of paying for their services. The worst part is, the message expressed hope that I hadn't had many time wasters, while literally wasting my time.  ::)

The most entitled one, however, was a man who asked what my price was for overnight then said he couldn't afford it so offered £400 (not even half of what I would ask for). 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 08 May 2022, 03:16:24 pm
Caller . Hi I've got 250 can I come see you now I'm on ...road  .
To which I told him I could only offer hour , fortunately I checked client eye first b4 sending a postcode .he's got reports as long as your arm for requesting bareback ,no shows also ..
He best stay on the road !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Red_rosie on 09 May 2022, 05:11:32 pm
Had a 10 minute chat with a client on the phon, he requested an outfit, made a couple of requests, seemed nice and genuine, wanted to book for 90 minutes. 30 minutes before his arrival time he messaged to say he was on his way. 15 minutes before his arrival time he asked if he could just have a 15 minute BJ in his car. I was fuming.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 09 May 2022, 07:06:14 pm
Quote from: Red_rosie on 09 May 2022, 05:11:32 pm
Had a 10 minute chat with a client on the phon, he requested an outfit, made a couple of requests, seemed nice and genuine, wanted to book for 90 minutes. 30 minutes before his arrival time he messaged to say he was on his way. 15 minutes before his arrival time he asked if he could just have a 15 minute BJ in his car. I was fuming.

Did you see him or cancel? I'd have cancelled and left him with blue balls 😅
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jadine on 09 May 2022, 07:49:09 pm
Got this prize prick on aw
Do you work in the market ? I thought I saw you last week are you up for it ?
What a silly bastard I do not show my face on profiles and I never would let any punter know exactly where I work either .
Nothing but every idiot and timewaster bugging me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 10 May 2022, 12:42:10 am
Starts off well as he provides all the information I ask for on initial contact, but it soon goes downhill.

"Oh, I see your fee is x. That's too much."

"That's a shame, I hope you find someone within your budget. Take care."

" x is really too much! Do you get a lot of business at that price? I imagine you do not!"

Actually I do just fine, thanks.  Perhaps he was hoping for a "That's okay! You can pay less!" rather than the response he got.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 10 May 2022, 10:24:12 am
'Good Morning - Are you open?'

This is not Tesco!!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 10 May 2022, 11:35:18 am
Quote from: Nadya on 10 May 2022, 10:24:12 am
'Good Morning - Are you open?'

This is not Tesco!!!!

Words fail me
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 10 May 2022, 03:37:33 pm
Quote from: Milf-G on 10 May 2022, 11:35:18 am
Words fail me
Quote from: Nadya on 10 May 2022, 10:24:12 am
'Good Morning - Are you open?'

This is not Tesco!!!!

Yes had one of these, also plenty of 'are you working?'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 10 May 2022, 04:02:33 pm
The "are you open" messages don't even merit a reply from me but I suspect some of them are written by men just winding us up anyway. Even the most challenged person knows "are you open" is just stupid.

I think my latest inane introductory question was "you up for taking my big cock then young lady?"

It was the "young lady" words that bored me the most (mature woman here!)  No replies given by me obviously.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 10 May 2022, 04:10:03 pm
Quote from: Justine on 10 May 2022, 04:02:33 pm
The "are you open" messages don't even merit a reply from me but I suspect some of them are written by men just winding us up anyway. Even the most challenged person knows "are you open" is just stupid.

I think my latest inane introductory question was "you up for taking my big cock then young lady?"

It was the "young lady" words that bored me the most (mature woman here!)  No replies given by me obviously.

Mine were verbal not typed messages, I usually ask 'Open, I am not sure what you mean'. Are you working today? "Yes" because I usually am working in some form or capacity even if it's answering emails, messages, updating adverts, social media.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 11 May 2022, 03:57:35 pm
Texted yesterday and booked a half hour for 6pm earlier in the afternoon, all agreed and then texted asking for a massage. I don't offer massage so told him this, cancelled and recommended he try somebody else (and read her ad properly first), then forgot all about it.

Texted again a bit later claiming to have read my profile now (no prizes for guessing this is an AW user), tried to rebook for today so I told him to text in the morning to confirm as I was busy. Then asks whether I offer half hour bookings (despite having already made one and had it cancelled) and starts texting about domination which I also don't offer. Declined as politely as was possible at the time and forgot all about it again.

Texted to confirm this morning as if I'd never replied, and then got pissy when I reminded him I'd cancelled and told him I never wanted to be alone in a room with him ever (and not just because he didn't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'). How these bellends hold a job down I literally cannot understand.

Last week: booked, confirmed and all arranged until I sent the street/postcode text. Cancelled.because I'm not at Aldgate, despite Aldgate not being mentioned anywhere in any of my ads  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 11 May 2022, 04:00:48 pm
Emails today asking me if I'm working on days which I'm clearly not ( profile clearly shows days I work) These people are seriously thick.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 12 May 2022, 04:55:46 pm
"Hello I wanna book you for 15min 40£"

(I don't offer 15mins and that is stated on the profile, but I am feeling salty so I answer)

Sure, no problem

"Who are you again?"

I'm Uadik, google me
 
"The only that came up was Audi Car"

What a complete wanker.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LittleMissSquirts on 13 May 2022, 08:35:21 am
What the hell goes on in these guys minds, had to ask for help in figuring out what this text meant!!

"Yooooo WYS?" Apparently this is the best way to try an book me!!!

It apparently translates to "What you saying"

Well I was too speechless to say anything after that!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 13 May 2022, 08:38:23 am
Quote from: LittleMissSquirts on 13 May 2022, 08:35:21 am
What the hell goes on in these guys minds, had to ask for help in figuring out what this text meant!!

"Yooooo WYS?" Apparently this is the best way to try an book me!!!

It apparently translates to "What you saying"

Well I was too speechless to say anything after that!!!

WYS - my response would be 'fuck off cxxt'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: denise96 on 13 May 2022, 07:52:46 pm
Young guy, from WhatsApp profile pic.  :FF

Hi xx I want to see you for 15min. ( I don't do that) and I replied with my half hour rates. He goes back to me really? C'mon let's do half of that rate.
No thanks. Ignore after
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 15 May 2022, 06:07:57 pm
1am text message 'hey are you available now? I guarantee you will have a beautiful time'.  Such a shame I was fast asleep as I finish and advertise I don't do 24/7.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 15 May 2022, 08:21:57 pm
Caller .I'd like to come for 15 mins
 Me Sure are you local ?
Caller No Stevenage
Me isn't that a long way to travel for such a short visit ?
Caller   I've just  checked it's 90 mins I think I'll leave it !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 15 May 2022, 08:37:05 pm
Quote from: Kiss on 15 May 2022, 08:21:57 pm
Caller .I'd like to come for 15 mins
 Me Sure are you local ?
Caller No Stevenage
Me isn't that a long way to travel for such a short visit ?
Caller   I've just  checked it's 90 mins I think I'll leave it !
:FF :FF :FF :FF Dick head
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 16 May 2022, 02:35:47 pm
Calls for a 15 min quickie calls back says he needs Viagra, did I have any before the booking
I said are you having a laugh .. your bookings cancelled you wont have time to get it up 😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ana66 on 16 May 2022, 11:59:00 pm
Today : 'I am most likely to ask for 2 to 3 services from your preference list such as..." (...the guy started enumerating services I don't provide)

And the funniest part : "If you're happy with the above, may I ask you if you're ok with me asking you to marry me for a short time when I meet you?"

LOL such a poetic moment  ;D ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 17 May 2022, 01:13:21 pm
Guy emailed me saying 'I would love to have a go on you' - Who said romance is dead!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 17 May 2022, 02:09:18 pm
Quote from: bustybbwsteph on 17 May 2022, 01:13:21 pm
Guy emailed me saying 'I would love to have a go on you' - Who said romance is dead!!

I've had this a few times! It's like I am a bouncy castle or something...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 17 May 2022, 02:12:27 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 17 May 2022, 02:09:18 pm
I've had this a few times! It's like I am a bouncy castle or something...

Like what goes through their heads to think this is appropriate to say to anyone, not just a SWer
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 17 May 2022, 03:32:59 pm
Quote from: bustybbwsteph on 17 May 2022, 01:13:21 pm
Guy emailed me saying 'I would love to have a go on you' - Who said romance is dead!!
Haha!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 17 May 2022, 03:34:46 pm
Quote from: Ana66 on 16 May 2022, 11:59:00 pm
Today : 'I am most likely to ask for 2 to 3 services from your preference list such as..." (...the guy started enumerating services I don't provide)

And the funniest part : "If you're happy with the above, may I ask you if you're ok with me asking you to marry me for a short time when I meet you?"

LOL such a poetic moment  ;D ;D
Haha!
What will your wedding vows be - "To have and to hold, to love and to cherish, until...next week Monday?"  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 17 May 2022, 03:35:30 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 17 May 2022, 02:09:18 pm
I've had this a few times! It's like I am a bouncy castle or something...
Haha! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 18 May 2022, 06:31:48 am
Quote from: Ana66 on 16 May 2022, 11:59:00 pm
Today : 'I am most likely to ask for 2 to 3 services from your preference list such as..." (...the guy started enumerating services I don't provide)

And the funniest part : "If you're happy with the above, may I ask you if you're ok with me asking you to marry me for a short time when I meet you?"

LOL such a poetic moment  ;D ;D

There is this thing with Asain clients some of them wanting this temporary marriage ceremony where you read from the Quran first so that he is not breaking the sex before marriage thing. I wonder if it's that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 18 May 2022, 06:32:38 am
Quote from: Kiss on 16 May 2022, 02:35:47 pm
Calls for a 15 min quickie calls back says he needs Viagra, did I have any before the booking
I said are you having a laugh .. your bookings cancelled you wont have time to get it up 😂

Omg new levels 😅
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ana66 on 18 May 2022, 05:41:45 pm
Quote from: Milf-G on 18 May 2022, 06:31:48 am
There is this thing with Asain clients some of them wanting this temporary marriage ceremony where you read from the Quran first so that he is not breaking the sex before marriage thing. I wonder if it's that.

Yes, someone told me that people who ask for that are part of an islamic cult, which has nothing to do with how the religion should be actually practised
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 19 May 2022, 10:29:59 am
WhatsApp from unknown number: "Car meet today?"

Me: "I do not do car meets"

Them: "How come?"  :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 19 May 2022, 01:18:31 pm
Quote from: SheffSW on 19 May 2022, 10:29:59 am
WhatsApp from unknown number: "Car meet today?"

Me: "I do not do car meets"

Them: "How come?"  :FF :FF :FF

Idiot
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CelesteManchester on 19 May 2022, 03:12:33 pm
Quote from: SheffSW on 19 May 2022, 10:29:59 am
WhatsApp from unknown number: "Car meet today?"

Me: "I do not do car meets"

Them: "How come?"  :FF :FF :FF

“Because I said so.”😡😡😡
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 19 May 2022, 04:10:29 pm
Email just now:

Hey gorgeous

What do you want to see me take up my ass?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SquirtyQueen on 19 May 2022, 04:30:16 pm
Quote from: Clarabella on 19 May 2022, 04:10:29 pm
Email just now:

Hey gorgeous

What do you want to see me take up my ass?
My 16 inch strap on  >:D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 19 May 2022, 07:36:57 pm
Quote from: Clarabella on 19 May 2022, 04:10:29 pm
Email just now:

Hey gorgeous

What do you want to see me take up my ass?

A baby elephant?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 19 May 2022, 08:23:03 pm
"your own head"
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 20 May 2022, 10:28:32 am
Keep getting people asking if I do incalls, even though I only have rates for outcalls available and my profile reiterates that I do outcalls only. I don't know how much clearer I can make it that I don't do incalls. Then they have the nerve to act all disappointed for telling them something they would have known if they'd actually bothered to look at my profile.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 20 May 2022, 07:27:17 pm
Quote from: SheffSW on 20 May 2022, 10:28:32 am
Keep getting people asking if I do incalls, even though I only have rates for outcalls available and my profile reiterates that I do outcalls only. I don't know how much clearer I can make it that I don't do incalls. Then they have the nerve to act all disappointed for telling them something they would have known if they'd actually bothered to look at my profile.  :FF

This is me....... every profile I have states outcalls only atleast 2/3 times, proof that men think with their dicks & nothing else
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 20 May 2022, 08:01:58 pm
Although I do outcalls (rarely) I have strict criteria and only on certain days and the amount of guys who don't read a single thing as to my proceedures is staggering.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 20 May 2022, 09:47:34 pm
Offered a booking and coke to sniff ..no point in responding that's what they want a reaction
Loads of bad reviews suprise suprise !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 20 May 2022, 11:00:18 pm
Quote from: bustybbwsteph on 20 May 2022, 07:27:17 pm
This is me....... every profile I have states outcalls only atleast 2/3 times, proof that men think with their dicks & nothing else

I had one guy act like I'd broken his heart by not offering incalls, as I was "perfect otherwise". Had some others promise to be discrete and tell me to look at their positive feedback, as if that would somehow make me provide a service I have never offered. Or ask about car meets, which my profile also mentions I don't do. Obviously not bothered enough to sort out a hotel though.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 21 May 2022, 01:10:00 am
Quote from: Kiss on 20 May 2022, 09:47:34 pm
Offered a booking and coke to sniff ..no point in responding that's what they want a reaction
Loads of bad reviews suprise suprise !

But we're all 24/7 party girls....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 21 May 2022, 08:11:08 pm
'Do you not do incalls?'

States no less than 3 times across my profile that it is outcalls only  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 21 May 2022, 08:14:47 pm
"Hi you available now, send face pic and postcode to WhatsApp"

😡😡😡
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 21 May 2022, 10:04:47 pm
Just received the longest email ever infact I didn't bother finish reading it to the end
Some of these members really are bored out their copy and paste minds !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 22 May 2022, 08:56:12 am
Email - "are you discreet about everything?"

Me - No I have a big neon sign outside with 'whore house' flashing until the early hours and as you leave the house I thank you loudly for visiting the fanny palace.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 22 May 2022, 09:03:05 am
Quote from: Milf-G on 22 May 2022, 08:56:12 am
Email - "are you discreet about everything?"

Me - No I have a big neon sign outside with 'whore house' flashing until the early hours and as you leave the house I thank you loudly for visiting the fanny palace.
😂😂😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 22 May 2022, 10:02:03 am
Not sure if he is trying to make a booking or trying to make me feel 'Outted' or whatever but just had an email, all it says is 'I am pretty sure I met you last night' - With the subject being 'Saw you in Mulligans'

Pretty sure you didn't pal...... my profile proves it as well lol

edit; I have no idea where Mulligans is.... I am assuming it's a bar, it's definitely not in my home town!

edit; His reply when I asked him the point of his email - 'Was merely being polite before hopefully making a booking. I was going to say you looked just as stunning naturally as you do on here'

 :FF :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 22 May 2022, 10:17:42 am
Quote from: bustybbwsteph on 22 May 2022, 10:02:03 am
Not sure if he is trying to make a booking or trying to make me feel 'Outted' or whatever but just had an email, all it says is 'I am pretty sure I met you last night' - With the subject being 'Saw you in Mulligans'

Pretty sure you didn't pal...... my profile proves it as well lol

edit; I have no idea where Mulligans is.... I am assuming it's a bar, it's definitely not in my home town!

edit; His reply when I asked him the point of his email - 'Was merely being polite before hopefully making a booking. I was going to say you looked just as stunning naturally as you do on here'

 :FF :FF :FF

They don't realise.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 22 May 2022, 11:01:15 am
Caller says he's in an Uber wants postcode to come now .. said babe constantly  I got lots of cash for a 3 hour booking .I cut the call  bad vibe
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 22 May 2022, 01:02:19 pm
Saw your profile on AW I was hoping we could chat.... fuck off wanker
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 22 May 2022, 03:50:48 pm
Quote from: Milf-G on 22 May 2022, 01:02:19 pm
Saw your profile on AW I was hoping we could chat.... fuck off wanker

Ofcourse we can chat! *Sends them prices for sexting/video calls & payment options*
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ana66 on 22 May 2022, 05:32:53 pm
Quote from: Milf-G on 22 May 2022, 01:02:19 pm
Saw your profile on AW I was hoping we could chat.... fuck off wanker

"Hey, are you up?" (at 5am).
"Please text me when you wake up" LOL
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 23 May 2022, 12:59:19 pm
Asked when I was free, so I responded with my availability for this week. Got a message asking if I can come today or only tomorrow. Today was not included in my list of when I am available. Don't even know why they bother asking just to disregard it. :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: denise96 on 25 May 2022, 12:31:05 pm
 Text " hi babe "

 ??? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 25 May 2022, 03:03:36 pm
Quote from: denise96 on 25 May 2022, 12:31:05 pm
Text " hi babe "

 ??? ???

I got a "hi, how are you?" WhatsApp the other day. Didn't open it and just received the exact same message again today.  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 26 May 2022, 05:52:45 pm
Subject:    Availability request

I can honestly say I have never wanted to jump through a screen so much as when reading your profile! WOW! x



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 26 May 2022, 06:26:58 pm
Quote from: SheffSW on 23 May 2022, 12:59:19 pm
Asked when I was free, so I responded with my availability for this week. Got a message asking if I can come today or only tomorrow. Today was not included in my list of when I am available. Don't even know why they bother asking just to disregard it. :FF
I got something similar via email .. I got sarcastic in my reply by saying ..I thought my working days were on the profile,were you not able to view that information? . Do please let me know if it wasn't visable . He didn't reply !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 27 May 2022, 11:24:12 am
Quote from: Kiss on 26 May 2022, 06:26:58 pm
I got something similar via email .. I got sarcastic in my reply by saying ..I thought my working days were on the profile,were you not able to view that information? . Do please let me know if it wasn't visable . He didn't reply !!!

Ah, typical.  :P



Someone asked if I was available today and I said I have covid so can't meet. He replied he isn't bothered and just wants me on his face.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: denise96 on 28 May 2022, 02:26:50 pm
Q. It's your place discreet?
Zero reply from me..

After a while, he asks again for a time, I have replied sorry no, my place it's not discreet then he says he doesn't mind 🙄🙄🙄

No answer from me. Bye :))
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 29 May 2022, 06:46:39 pm
Received an email this afternoon just saying - 'I really want to book you'

 ::) Clearly ignoring the profile full of details on how to actually make a booking with me!



Also text message at stupid o'clock just saying 'Adultseek' - Well done, you managed to find my profile & contact number but ignore everything else on there  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 30 May 2022, 02:47:10 pm
They must all be out today...... A guy on AW is threatening to report me to AW because I have refused to see him  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ana66 on 30 May 2022, 05:10:35 pm
Quote from: bustybbwsteph on 30 May 2022, 02:47:10 pm
They must all be out today...... A guy on AW is threatening to report me to AW because I have refused to see him  ::)

I've always wondered if people who threaten to report AW profile actually do it and if AW is stupid enough to believe these idiots and suspend the profile ? I'm sometimes scared this would happen to me as well :( :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 30 May 2022, 08:48:51 pm
Quote from: Ana66 on 30 May 2022, 05:10:35 pm
I've always wondered if people who threaten to report AW profile actually do it and if AW is stupid enough to believe these idiots and suspend the profile ? I'm sometimes scared this would happen to me as well :( :(

Oh they do, happened to me.
Not if a guy just contacts them to say he was verbally turned down, but if they complain about wording on your profile that they feel discriminates against them it will be suspended.
Think I was unlucky though as there are still loads of profiles stipulating who they will or wont see.


[quote fixed]
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 31 May 2022, 06:48:51 pm
Quote from: bustybbwsteph on 30 May 2022, 02:47:10 pm
They must all be out today...... A guy on AW is threatening to report me to AW because I have refused to see him  ::)

I find people who announce things are all mouth and no underpantings. I've had that a few times...it's the pathetic bleating of a swell head troll.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 31 May 2022, 10:05:14 pm
Quote from: Ana66 on 30 May 2022, 05:10:35 pm
I've always wondered if people who threaten to report AW profile actually do it and if AW is stupid enough to believe these idiots and suspend the profile ? I'm sometimes scared this would happen to me as well :( :(

I just blocked him & carried on with my day...... if AW can't seem to block the countless 'info1234' accounts that keep trying to spam us I doubt they will look too closely at us refusing to see someone because they can't read a profile correctly
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 01 June 2022, 09:28:01 pm
Email on Adult Work titled "cut my cock off for ten grand"... Funnily enough, the person who sent that is no longer active.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tina Sparx on 03 June 2022, 05:11:53 am
Quote from: SheffSW on 01 June 2022, 09:28:01 pm
Email on Adult Work titled "cut my cock off for ten grand"
Half the tw4ts I see I'd cut it off for £10 not £10k!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 05 June 2022, 03:22:23 am
Quote from: SheffSW on 01 June 2022, 09:28:01 pm
Email on Adult Work titled "cut my cock off for ten grand"... Funnily enough, the person who sent that is no longer active.  ::)

Ah, I was once offered £6k for doing so, and he could talk me through the process. Forgot about that little nugget. Lucky you got offered more than me though lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 05 June 2022, 11:03:58 am
Quote from: Tina Sparx on 03 June 2022, 05:11:53 am
Half the tw4ts I see I'd cut it off for £10 not £10k!

 ;D

Quote from: Milf-G on 05 June 2022, 03:22:23 am
Ah, I was once offered £6k for doing so, and he could talk me through the process. Forgot about that little nugget. Lucky you got offered more than me though lol

Unfortunately I didn't get there quick enough as, when I clicked on the message, it said the member was no longer active... I guess he got what he wanted.  :P
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 05 June 2022, 12:13:12 pm
Quote from: SheffSW on 01 June 2022, 09:28:01 pm
Email on Adult Work titled "cut my cock off for ten grand"... Funnily enough, the person who sent that is no longer active.  ::)
Cheaper to cut it off himself .. with any luck he did !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PinkR2021 on 05 June 2022, 07:34:54 pm
I’ve recently started with deposits due to so many time wasters. I had this one guy try and convince me he was trustworthy as he used his “personal” email address and reassured me he was genuine.
I told him that if I had a pound for every time waster who told me they were genuine, I’d be a rich woman. I also had to tell him that plenty of time wasters have also used “personal “ emails, addresses and phone numbers.
Funnily enough, he didn’t bother to reply after that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 05 June 2022, 08:19:03 pm
Hi, can I book you please.
Sure, but I'll need more information than that?
Like what? .... :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 06 June 2022, 12:21:19 am
Quote from: PinkR2021 on 05 June 2022, 07:34:54 pm
I’ve recently started with deposits due to so many time wasters. I had this one guy try and convince me he was trustworthy as he used his “personal” email address and reassured me he was genuine.
I told him that if I had a pound for every time waster who told me they were genuine, I’d be a rich woman. I also had to tell him that plenty of time wasters have also used “personal “ emails, addresses and phone numbers.
Funnily enough, he didn’t bother to reply after that.

'I am definitely genuine' Only ever used by guys who are most definitely not!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 06 June 2022, 05:30:49 pm
Subject: Intro
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi I'm looking for a regular escort to come to watch bare knuckle fight events with me. Must enjoy watching fights and find it a turn on
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 07 June 2022, 10:51:52 am
Email
Do you use contraception ?
I just didn't answer  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 07 June 2022, 11:56:14 am
Quote from: Hannaah on 06 June 2022, 05:30:49 pm
Subject: Intro
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi I'm looking for a regular escort to come to watch bare knuckle fight events with me. Must enjoy watching fights and find it a turn on

😁. Bare Knuckle matches no thank you but good old fashioned wrestling yes!  I was once asked by email if I would accompany someone to stroll through the red light area after midnight? Err no ta!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PinkR2021 on 07 June 2022, 12:00:41 pm
New client : “Do you do quick hand relief.”
Me:“The minimum time is an hour.”
New client :” I’ll give you £200 for an hour of anal.”
Me( who doesn’t offer that): “No”
New client :” I’m new at this . Sex with my wife is boring and want to try something new.”
Me : “ please read my profile to see what I do and don’t do.”
After sending the link to my profile again.
New client : “ Do you do car meets.”
Me( who doesn’t ): “ please leave me alone.”
New client : “ what do you expect? A five star hotel? I only asked about anal and the car as it’s your job.”
Me: “ Just because you can’t afford that , doesn’t mean  my other clients can’t.”
Now blocked. Jesus give me strength 😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 07 June 2022, 12:40:13 pm
Text: "Hi, you look hot"  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 07 June 2022, 04:27:48 pm
Quote from: Justine on 07 June 2022, 11:56:14 am
😁. Bare Knuckle matches no thank you but good old fashioned wrestling yes!  I was once asked by email if I would accompany someone to stroll through the red light area after midnight? Err no ta!

Because nothing could possibly go wrong there! How could you resist?

Quote from: PinkR2021 on 07 June 2022, 12:00:41 pm
New client : “Do you do quick hand relief.”
Me:“The minimum time is an hour.”
New client :” I’ll give you £200 for an hour of anal.”
Me( who doesn’t offer that): “No”
New client :” I’m new at this . Sex with my wife is boring and want to try something new.”
Me : “ please read my profile to see what I do and don’t do.”
After sending the link to my profile again.
New client : “ Do you do car meets.”
Me( who doesn’t ): “ please leave me alone.”
New client : “ what do you expect? A five star hotel? I only asked about anal and the car as it’s your job.”
Me: “ Just because you can’t afford that , doesn’t mean  my other clients can’t.”
Now blocked. Jesus give me strength 😂

I wouldn't have answered at all. If their first message shows to me that they haven't read a thing, I just ignore and block. I have it all over my ads if they don't send x information when initiating contact or they make it clear they haven't read my profile in it's entirety, (because yes, I've had people quote bits to make it look like they've read it, but then have absolutely no idea about other things) then they will be ignored and blocked. It's saved so much time and hassle, I rarely get irritated anymore by these clowns.


Turned my phone on this morning after time away and have this gem of a text:
Tried ringing you loads but it always goes straight to voicemail. How can I book you if you turn your phone off, bad for business !!!

Obviously, we're not entitled to time away or personal lives.  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 08 June 2022, 10:37:01 am
Quote from: Hannaah on 06 June 2022, 05:30:49 pm
Subject: Intro
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi I'm looking for a regular escort to come to watch bare knuckle fight events with me. Must enjoy watching fights and find it a turn on

I have had this email as well, exactly the same wording but from 3 different unlinked accounts all with zero feedback!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: denise96 on 08 June 2022, 11:18:52 am
Q. Hi, are you available at 1pm?
A. Hi, yes I will be available at 1
Q. Do you have a postcode?
A. How long you wanna stay with me and do you have an adultwork account
Q. Silence 🤣🤣

No length of booking nothing straight for the postcode
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 08 June 2022, 02:54:20 pm
Showed my number on AW for the first time in ages and so far every single person to contact me has multiple reports for time-wasting, bareback requests, abuse when they don't get their own way and endless texts/calls/questions. One person had over 100 reports going back to 2014 and he's still at it!  Some people really need to get a hobby.

Giving it one more hour and if nothing serious comes in I'm done for the day, too many idiots around!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 08 June 2022, 03:49:38 pm
"Would you be interested in making adult content together?"

Hmm, would you be interested in paying my rate for time you would expect to spend with me and extra for filming?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ana66 on 08 June 2022, 05:47:42 pm
Quote from: SheffSW on 08 June 2022, 03:49:38 pm
"Would you be interested in making adult content together?"

Hmm, would you be interested in paying my rate for time you would expect to spend with me and extra for filming?  ::)

Hate when people use the kind of sentence "would you be interested in meeting today?", or "would you be interested in meeting again ?" (even some regulars do that sometimes), like NO I'm not interested in meeting you BUT you're interested in meeting me : difference  :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 08 June 2022, 08:30:13 pm

SUBJECT: Fun times

MESSAGE: what do you do during a first booking?


/shrugs/ I teach you how to request a booking properly?  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 09 June 2022, 11:17:46 am
Someone messaged asking about a "private photo session" without condoms. Apparently he's read my profile carefully but somehow failed to notice the part saying I don't do bareback and anyone asking will get blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 10 June 2022, 10:10:14 pm
Rang and used that kiss of death  phrase-
'if we get on I'm looking for someone I could see on a regular basis'.

Usually means waster, reviewer or controller. No thanks.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissWolf on 10 June 2022, 11:02:19 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 10 June 2022, 10:10:14 pm
Rang and used that kiss of death  phrase-
'if we get on I'm looking for someone I could see on a regular basis'.

Usually means waster, reviewer or controller. No thanks.

This is also normally closely followed by the request for a discount or 'special price' because he's going to be a regular and so is doing you a favour,  right!!!  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 11 June 2022, 12:13:12 am
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PinkR2021 on 11 June 2022, 10:45:03 pm
Quote from: saltysweet on 10 June 2022, 10:10:14 pm
Rang and used that kiss of death  phrase-
'if we get on I'm looking for someone I could see on a regular basis'.

Usually means waster, reviewer or controller. No thanks.
What do they honestly think they gain by saying that? 😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ana66 on 12 June 2022, 12:08:03 pm
A guy texted me today asking if he can come at 2pm or 3pm, I then replied and told him I can do 2pm or 2:30pm (which is in the window he asked for).
The guy then asked :"you can't do any other time that that ?"
I was like  ??? ??? ??? ??? this doesn't make any sense
I then asked him at what time he wants to come then
And the guy disappeared
Idiot
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: saltysweet on 12 June 2022, 02:58:17 pm
.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 12 June 2022, 04:01:55 pm
I've had some guys say for example they want arrange a 2 hour booking evening of, then go on to specify 4pm. Text to ask for availability for a booking this morning, to then specify 1pm. I guess schedules can change which is fair enough, but the conversation doesn't fit with a schedule change.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 12 June 2022, 08:17:19 pm
Asking for photos off my face and body when there are multiple on my profiles.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 13 June 2022, 06:43:26 am
Quote from: Ana66 on 08 June 2022, 05:47:42 pm
Hate when people use the kind of sentence "would you be interested in meeting today?", or "would you be interested in meeting again ?" (even some regulars do that sometimes), like NO I'm not interested in meeting you BUT you're interested in meeting me : difference  :)

Lol I thought it was just me who got irritated by 'are you interested in meeting today?' Bloody messages. Dude, I know nothing about you so how can I bloody decide that. The 'interested' is on your part.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 13 June 2022, 08:17:02 am
Quote from: Ana66 on 12 June 2022, 12:08:03 pm
A guy texted me today asking if he can come at 2pm or 3pm, I then replied and told him I can do 2pm or 2:30pm (which is in the window he asked for).
The guy then asked :"you can't do any other time that that ?"
I was like  ??? ??? ??? ??? this doesn't make any sense
I then asked him at what time he wants to come then
And the guy disappeared
Idiot

Yep, had that lots too. Usually screams timewaster.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 16 June 2022, 09:34:21 am
Text: "available"  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 16 June 2022, 12:03:01 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 08 June 2022, 08:30:13 pm

SUBJECT: Fun times

MESSAGE: what do you do during a first booking?


/shrugs/ I teach you how to request a booking properly?  ::)

🤣🤣
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Petlover29 on 16 June 2022, 12:48:47 pm
Client
Hi I want to book you

Me
Ok what time and how long for

Client
15mins and I want the fun all over your hotel room,  even in the bathroom

 I don’t even do 15 mins.. I just didn’t reply
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 16 June 2022, 01:30:32 pm
Quote from: Petlover29 on 16 June 2022, 12:48:47 pm
Client
Hi I want to book you

Me
Ok what time and how long for

Client
15mins and I want the fun all over your hotel room,  even in the bathroom

 I don’t even do 15 mins.. I just didn’t reply

The guys asking for 15 mins are the rudest men of them all especially as a lot of the men know if someone offers it or not.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Escortx on 16 June 2022, 02:02:31 pm
The last one to ask me for 15 said you're very expensive would you spank me for 40. Then said also 69, owo.and me lick you lol. I charge 50 for 15 that is very reasonable to start with. But I only do basic services. Gfe is for half an hour or more.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 16 June 2022, 05:46:07 pm
They ask for 15 mins but in their minds their thinking of stretching it to 35mins
at a cost of next to nothing and wonder why it's declined  !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 16 June 2022, 09:32:56 pm
"Are you at uni or do you work?"  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: denise96 on 17 June 2022, 11:20:21 am
Asked for a time today, I said yes as I am free and then he told me to send full details, all the services that I do and prices.
It's easier if you read my profile!!!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 17 June 2022, 02:55:18 pm
Contacts me about a booking and asks how much it will cost, I respond with the price despite this being on my profile, they say that's very expensive so I need to convince them why they should book me for that.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: denise96 on 17 June 2022, 03:56:09 pm
Quote from: SheffSW on 17 June 2022, 02:55:18 pm
Contacts me about a booking and asks how much it will cost, I respond with the price despite this being on my profile, they say that's very expensive so I need to convince them why they should book me for that.  ::)


🤣🤣🤣 go see someone else!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 17 June 2022, 04:06:41 pm
Quote from: denise96 on 17 June 2022, 03:56:09 pm

🤣🤣🤣 go see someone else!!

Literally! Imagine contacting someone to book them and expecting them to do a sales pitch and basically beg you to book them. No thanks, I'm not that desperate.  😂 I have my profile for that anyway. I'm happy to answer questions people may have to help them decide if I am right for them/can offer what they want but, if someone reads my profile and doesn't think I'm worth my rates, I'm not going to waste my time trying to convince them otherwise.

When I was starting out, I had someone try to get an hour for the price of my half hour rate because he would have to pay for a hotel, would pick me up and drop me off to make it easier for me, and "other girls agreed that price". 🤷‍♀️
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 18 June 2022, 08:21:58 am
Quote from: SheffSW on 17 June 2022, 02:55:18 pm
Contacts me about a booking and asks how much it will cost, I respond with the price despite this being on my profile, they say that's very expensive so I need to convince them why they should book me for that.  ::)

Omfg 🤣🤣
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 18 June 2022, 08:54:40 am
I'm offering very limited service at the moment following surgery - massage with hand relief only (reduced service is plastered ALL over my profile and also states do not ask for full service)  and get this today;

Hi there I love your profile.I'm interested about you. I want full service like girlfriends and boyfriend. I love kissing you and licking your ass and pussy love showering together make a clean.or bj and kist much much i love you will be enjoying trust me pretty person you will like me we can make a deal just let me chatting see what we can do😊🙈
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 18 June 2022, 09:24:54 am
Quote from: Milf-G on 18 June 2022, 08:54:40 am
I'm offering very limited service at the moment following surgery - massage with hand relief only (reduced service is plastered ALL over my profile and also states do not ask for full service)  and get this today;

Hi there I love your profile.I'm interested about you. I want full service like girlfriends and boyfriend. I love kissing you and licking your ass and pussy love showering together make a clean.or bj and kist much much i love you will be enjoying trust me pretty person you will like me we can make a deal just let me chatting see what we can do😊🙈
Probably the idiot would go into a bakery and ask for fish  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 18 June 2022, 10:51:27 am
Quote from: Milf-G

Hi there I love your profile.I'm interested about you. I want full service like girlfriends and boyfriend. I love kissing you and licking your ass and pussy love showering together make a clean.or bj and kist much much i love you will be enjoying trust me pretty person you will like me we can make a deal just let me chatting see what we can do😊🙈

I think it’s decidedly likely he’s fired this message off to several women without reading their profiles. - the first two lines makes me certain of this as I find men think writing this makes their message personalised when it is anything but.

I have two contact forms on my website - one for bookings and another contact form. The former is detailed and every box/question must be completed in order for it to be submitted.

The contact form is just a text box. Every single message I have received to date, on this particular form, bears absolutely no relation to anything I offer/having written on my website and/or ads or contains any of the information that will enable me to consider the booking. Now, the contact form messages go to a completely different email address and I check it one a week at most as there is never anything viable. I rarely respond to them now as I know they never respond

I realise this method won’t work for everyone, but I know for me, it has. Any messages I ever share in this thread are always sent to the contact form!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 18 June 2022, 11:03:15 am
Being asked what I can do that many others don't.

Ignore your email mate!  😁
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: denise96 on 18 June 2022, 11:27:02 am
I don't know if this is just me or is so bloody annoying when they are sending back this reply after you say time etc..
Here it goes like this :
Hi x are you available today
Yes I will be available at x time.
And the reply is so annoying to me : 'yeah send the address '
I cannot stand the 'yeah' is like you're bored somehow and asking for my address just to see where I am based but never turn up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 18 June 2022, 11:52:29 am
Quote from: Milf-G on 18 June 2022, 08:54:40 am
I'm offering very limited service at the moment following surgery - massage with hand relief only (reduced service is plastered ALL over my profile and also states do not ask for full service)  and get this today;

Hi there I love your profile.I'm interested about you. I want full service like girlfriends and boyfriend. I love kissing you and licking your ass and pussy love showering together make a clean.or bj and kist much much i love you will be enjoying trust me pretty person you will like me we can make a deal just let me chatting see what we can do😊🙈

Ugh. A few weeks ago I put at the top of my profile that I had covid-19 so couldn't meet and would update my profile when I could meet again, but still had loads of people asking for same day meets. One even asked for an incall on one of those days, which I had never offered regardless.  :FF

Hope everything is going well with the surgery recovery.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 18 June 2022, 04:32:43 pm
Will you do a quickie for 20 quid?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 19 June 2022, 03:29:04 pm
Phone chat call booking request
Chats away then says
My wife is on aw she's out at a booking now
We would like to see you tonight .
Me I don't do MF service
Did he want some sort of special rate because they are aw members (..god knows )
He cut the call wasn't sure if he had cum or just pissed off I won't meet his request
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 20 June 2022, 08:42:48 am
Quote from: Justine on 18 June 2022, 11:03:15 am
Being asked what I can do that many others don't.

Ignore your email mate!  😁

🤣🤣
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 20 June 2022, 08:46:55 am
Quote from: SheffSW on 18 June 2022, 11:52:29 am

Hope everything is going well with the surgery recovery.

Happy with results and out of pain but not as flexible to allow bedroom activities yet. I did give a bit of oral yesterday during a massage (my suggestion) but found bending over too much. I just have to wait a little longer for sex I guess. I miss sex though lol.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ana66 on 20 June 2022, 01:19:34 pm
I had a guy today, he passed all my screening process until I asked him to do a quick phone call, this is how the phone call went :

Me :"Hi"
Him :"Hi babe, please can you let me know if you're alone in your place ?"
Me : "Why does it matter ?"
Him: "well babe you see it's for privacy reasons"
Me: "sorry but you've just ruined all your chances to see me with this question, this is a typical red flag question for me"
Him : "ok bye" hang up the phone

Typical creepy suspicious behaviour, literally how not to book an escort
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 20 June 2022, 02:20:16 pm
Quote from: Ana66

Me :"Hi"
Him :"Hi babe…

You’re far kinder than me, I would have declined the booking at this point!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 20 June 2022, 04:10:22 pm
He called and asked if I was available, even though it was clearly showing on profile.
Asked my location, I gave him an approx one.
Him .. Oh I live in *** ( place about 30 mins away)
I'm thinking, why do I need to know that, I don't do outcalls.
Me .. I don't do outcalls.
Him ... So you can't come here?
Me .. I don't do outcalls
Him .. I don't drive, I'll have to arrange a lift.
I'm not too keen on that idea.
Him.. Can you drive?
Me ... Yes
Him .. So why can't you come here
Me.. Because I don't do outcalls!!!!  :FF :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 20 June 2022, 06:27:47 pm
Quote from: Ana66 on 20 June 2022, 01:19:34 pm
I had a guy today, he passed all my screening process until I asked him to do a quick phone call, this is how the phone call went :

Me :"Hi"
Him :"Hi babe, please can you let me know if you're alone in your place ?"
Me : "Why does it matter ?"
Him: "well babe you see it's for privacy reasons"
Me: "sorry but you've just ruined all your chances to see me with this question, this is a typical red flag question for me"
Him : "ok bye" hang up the phone

Typical creepy suspicious behaviour, literally how not to book an escort

I've turned down a few that have asked that too. Creepy and definitely red flag.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 20 June 2022, 06:38:44 pm
Him - have you got any availability left this afternoon?
Me - I finish at 3
Him - oh I can come at 3
Me - no I FINISH at 3
Him - OK I can make 2.30 then
Me - sure have you read my profile?
Him - yes
Me - so you know I'm not offering full service atm
Him - uh no, why what's on offer
Me - it is plastered on my profile no less than 6 times (all tabs and profile summary) what I am offering at the moment and my 'enjoys' reflects this. Why lie that you've read my profile??
Him - oh OK must have missed that.

Dickhead.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ana66 on 20 June 2022, 07:49:35 pm
Quote from: Miffy on 20 June 2022, 02:20:16 pm
You’re far kinder than me, I would have declined the booking at this point!

Yes I know, I also hate when people call me with names such and babe, hun, love and all the possible pet names. I take booking by text and when I received a text that contains one of these I never bother replying because I know it's not the kind of client I want to see. However with this one, the texting part was fine and "fairly" well written but as I said I soon as I called him, he put the two red flags words ins first sentence so didn't even have tile to hear talking that it was already over
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ana66 on 20 June 2022, 07:56:43 pm
Quote from: Milf-G on 20 June 2022, 06:38:44 pm
Him - have you got any availability left this afternoon?
Me - I finish at 3
Him - oh I can come at 3
Me - no I FINISH at 3
Him - OK I can make 2.30 then
Me - sure have you read my profile?
Him - yes
Me - so you know I'm not offering full service atm
Him - uh no, why what's on offer
Me - it is plastered on my profile no less than 6 times (all tabs and profile summary) what I am offering at the moment and my 'enjoys' reflects this. Why lie that you've read my profile??
Him - oh OK must have missed that.

Dickhead.

Yes people who don't read profile are such a pain in the ass and there are so many unfortunately. Even if you write everything in size 30, capital and bold letters with exclamation points, they will still ask the same stupid questions over and over again. These people are lazy, disrespectful and don't want to bother. They look at the pictures and the rates (sometimes not even the rates) and click on the phone number straight away.

When people ask me questions about something written on my profile, I just ignore them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 20 June 2022, 08:05:09 pm
I think because I've reduced my rate given my reduced service they see they 'low cost' for 30/45/60 mins and all blood rushes to their dicks. It's a good way of weeding out those that don't read my profile though, because in experience those meets don't go well anyway.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 20 June 2022, 09:18:41 pm
Today this email
i only require full foot worship through stockings only
if happy then progress to bare feet

I have paid for up to a day for this

Please let me know how long you will allow

if you show bare breasts i have a high extra offer

Please consider..
I considered and blocked
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 20 June 2022, 09:58:58 pm
🤣🤣 Kiss
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Twisted...tinkerbell on 21 June 2022, 01:32:28 am
Quote from: Ana66 on 20 June 2022, 07:56:43 pm

.
Quote from: Ana66 on 20 June 2022, 07:49:35 pm
Yes I know, I also hate when people call me with names such and babe, hun, love and all the possible pet names.

"Baby " s the one for me ... I don't know what is but it just puts scratches down my spine
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 21 June 2022, 06:16:57 pm

That "64 yr old grandmother" and "her" granddaughter who has a penchant for BBWs is doing the rounds again, requesting bookings.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 21 June 2022, 11:25:39 pm
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 21 June 2022, 06:16:57 pm
That "64 yr old grandmother" and "her" granddaughter who has a penchant for BBWs is doing the rounds again, requesting bookings.

I had an email from 'them' today!  Reported for spam & blocked!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Petlover29 on 21 June 2022, 11:47:54 pm
Phone call early this morning. I was walking my dog so couldn’t really speak proper

I answered the call I asked if I could text him and explained I couldn’t speak on the phone until I was back from my activity.. he said I couldn’t text him my availability as he likes to get to know the lady first on the phone.. I told him that I was busy and can’t speak for a long time and put the phone down

Surprise surprise when I checked his numbers on the safety app after the call  he had 20 reports

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 22 June 2022, 06:03:13 am
Quote from: Petlover29 on 21 June 2022, 11:47:54 pm
Phone call early this morning. I was walking my dog so couldn’t really speak proper

I answered the call I asked if I could text him and explained I couldn’t speak on the phone until I was back from my activity.. he said I couldn’t text him my availability as he likes to get to know the lady first on the phone.. I told him that I was busy and can’t speak for a long time and put the phone down

Surprise surprise when I checked his numbers on the safety app after the call  he had 20 reports
It's good you got the chance to check his number .. swerved a bullet on that one
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 22 June 2022, 10:19:35 am
Quote from: bustybbwsteph on 21 June 2022, 11:25:39 pm
I had an email from 'them' today!  Reported for spam & blocked!

I just received that email this morning  ;D That went straight to the bin and blocked the email as it was direct to my working hotmail.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ana66 on 22 June 2022, 11:44:09 pm
Got a message very early this morning (around 6am) : "Hey, can we come now for 30min ?"

oh god, nothing was right in this message  :o :o :o

Can WE ??? WE, seriously at 6am ??? I don't thing so no, dodgy as hell...probably a group of drunk/high people
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 23 June 2022, 04:46:12 pm
Whatsapp; 'Hello, is 17 OK for you?'  :o

Blocked immediately & reported on the app........ Not remotely interested in whether it's a joke or not!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 23 June 2022, 05:24:55 pm
Quote from: bustybbwsteph on 23 June 2022, 04:46:12 pm
Whatsapp; 'Hello, is 17 OK for you?'  :o

Blocked immediately & reported on the app........ Not remotely interested in whether it's a joke or not!

Dear god!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 23 June 2022, 10:55:56 pm
If you don't want to see a seventeen year old punter then that's up to you (and I wouldn't either), but I don't understand the pearl clutching or the 'report' (and if this app is full of people blacklisting numbers just because they got a stupid text message then God help future users if it falls down, because literally nobody will ever learn to screen if they need to be told that someone who wants a nice long chat on the phone without any mention of a day/time is a timewasting fantasist).

Anybody who has age restrictions only has to put them on their ad, after all? Mine says my services are for men aged 18+ only and I still get numpties texting asking me to see couples and so on. They're deleted and instantly forgotten.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 24 June 2022, 11:05:21 am
Quote from: bustybbwsteph on 23 June 2022, 04:46:12 pm
Whatsapp; 'Hello, is 17 OK for you?'  :o

Blocked immediately & reported on the app........ Not remotely interested in whether it's a joke or not!

I have had similar messages and always assume it's a wind up/idiots messing around/bored saddo who is probably more like 67 than 17 so just ignore. I do not put that number on block as want to see if they try again.

Shock horror doesn't come into it with me. More like a large dose of pity😟
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 29 June 2022, 12:54:55 pm
Email
"Would you like to get rid of habits such as smoking/eating? I am a 60yr old mature hypnotherapist that can help with this and would be looking for services in return as payment....:

Just lost my appetite mate 🤢 that's all the hypnotherapy I need thanks.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: denise96 on 29 June 2022, 01:01:24 pm
11.56am : hi, are you free at 12.00?

What a joke!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 29 June 2022, 05:30:36 pm
Asked if I would do bb in a car meet (two things I've made clear I do not do).  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 29 June 2022, 05:43:02 pm
Quote from: SheffSW on 29 June 2022, 05:30:36 pm
Asked if I would do bb in a car meet (two things I've made clear I do not do).  :FF

Scum bag!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 29 June 2022, 05:49:04 pm
Quote from: Milf-G on 29 June 2022, 12:54:55 pm
Email
"Would you like to get rid of habits such as smoking/eating? I am a 60yr old mature hypnotherapist that can help with this and would be looking for services in return as payment....:

Just lost my appetite mate 🤢 that's all the hypnotherapy I need thanks.

I had 2 similar recently.

One asking if i need car work done as he looks after all the " local girls cars"

Second knob asking if i need any plumbing doing in my home or anything fixing.

Yep really want strange men from sex work sites doing jobs that i get a professional to do.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 29 June 2022, 06:45:14 pm
Quote from: Milf-G on 29 June 2022, 12:54:55 pm
Email
"Would you like to get rid of habits such as smoking/eating? I am a 60yr old mature hypnotherapist that can help with this and would be looking for services in return as payment....:

Just lost my appetite mate 🤢 that's all the hypnotherapy I need thanks.
Very unappealing
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 29 June 2022, 07:36:16 pm
Quote from: Kiss on 29 June 2022, 06:45:14 pm
Very unappealing

He gave his  name so I did a quick google search on hynotherapists and found one about 20 miles away with a 1* review for fucking someone's wife.... I reckon it's him.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 29 June 2022, 07:38:19 pm
Quote from: English Green on 29 June 2022, 05:49:04 pm
I had 2 similar recently.

One asking if i need car work done as he looks after all the " local girls cars"

Second knob asking if i need any plumbing doing in my home or anything fixing.

Yep really want strange men from sex work sites doing jobs that i get a professional to do.

Hmm and what's to say the mechanic wouldn't do a shit job so you have to return for more work! Or that the hypnotherapist doesn't trick you into unprotected sex!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 29 June 2022, 10:38:07 pm
Quote from: Milf-G on 29 June 2022, 07:36:16 pm
He gave his  name so I did a quick google search on hynotherapists and found one about 20 miles away with a 1* review for fucking someone's wife.... I reckon it's him.
It's too much of a coincidence i bet it's him ..😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 29 June 2022, 10:48:07 pm
Quote from: Kiss on 29 June 2022, 10:38:07 pm
It's too much of a coincidence i bet it's him ..😂

I'm tempted to leave him a review.... 🤣
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 30 June 2022, 10:00:41 pm
So prince charming tonight ( never been seen before by me, but a good few warnings to his number) sends me a text telling me he wants a car meet ( err not on offer pal plus past my clocking off time), and wants to suck on my piss flaps while I drive around wasting my fucking petrol in a car he doesn't know I have lol all for 250 non existent euro

Jesus hold me back girls, I am dying to say yes ....errrr puke
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 30 June 2022, 11:30:45 pm
Quote from: curvywench on 30 June 2022, 10:00:41 pm
So prince charming tonight ( never been seen before by me, but a good few warnings to his number) sends me a text telling me he wants a car meet ( err not on offer pal plus past my clocking off time), and wants to suck on my piss flaps while I drive around wasting my fucking petrol in a car he doesn't know I have lol all for 250 non existent euro

Jesus hold me back girls, I am dying to say yes ....errrr puke

I mean how exactly would you be driving whilst he is sucking your flaps??? Not quite sure he's familiar with female anatomy 🤣
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 01 July 2022, 12:59:27 pm
Quote from: Milf-G on 30 June 2022, 11:30:45 pm
I mean how exactly would you be driving whilst he is sucking your flaps??? Not quite sure he's familiar with female anatomy 🤣

 ;D ;D cute aint he
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 01 July 2022, 04:35:38 pm
"I never been with none white before! Love to see what you got ;).
I never paid before either!
Love too feel your bare!"

..........................
Well isn't that precious?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 01 July 2022, 07:32:35 pm
Quote from: Nadya on 01 July 2022, 04:35:38 pm
"I never been with none white before! Love to see what you got ;).
I never paid before either!
Love too feel your bare!"

Urgh. Hate lack of grammar and correct spelling. Oh shit - bare???!!!!

..........................
Well isn't that precious?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 02 July 2022, 10:58:40 am
Had a scammer recently turn up for a booking for the hour with all £10 notes that were the old kind that expired 4 years ago. When i said is this a joke you must think all escorts are thick to just accept these and give you a free service? He said oh my god i thought you could spend them had no idea so sorry. I pushed him out the door quickly. He said i am gutted drove all the way here and really want to stay with you. I wonder what poor woman he went on to pass them on to.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jadine on 02 July 2022, 11:47:50 am
Hello
I am hoping we can do business
I would like to do a few films of your ass for my private twerking collection I will pay you whatever you require hope you be interested I am also interested in a session with you involving me ass worshipping and rimming you if ok with you this will not be filmed .
Thanks Janet

She's 2 aliases as well .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 03 July 2022, 08:57:15 am
Heard it all now. Got the offer to move to NZ and live with my client who I will become a mummy to.

Poor man has obviously got learning difficulties.

I have seen people like this before and I genuinely think this thread has a lot of men like this in it. That's the only rational explanation I can think of anyway.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 03 July 2022, 10:16:31 am
Offered items as payment for services, which I could supposedly sell for between £300-600...  ::)

Got WhatsApp messages from someone else which I didn't reply to for two days as I wasn't working so work phone off. They messaged again saying they "want a go".  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 03 July 2022, 08:18:53 pm
Quote from: SheffSW on 03 July 2022, 10:16:31 am

Got WhatsApp messages from someone else which I didn't reply to for two days as I wasn't working so work phone off. They messaged again saying they "want a go".  ???

I got one guy who wrote 'Like what I see'  yesterday, so I just delete it and the total Muppet re-sent the same message.

Blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nadya on 03 July 2022, 08:34:06 pm
Quote from: Jadine on 02 July 2022, 11:47:50 am
Hello
I am hoping we can do business
I would like to do a few films of your ass for my private twerking collection I will pay you whatever you require hope you be interested I am also interested in a session with you involving me ass worshipping and rimming you if ok with you this will not be filmed .
Thanks Janet

She's 2 aliases as well .

And I just received this.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 03 July 2022, 09:18:27 pm
Someone messaged asking for an incall on I date I am not offering incalls (I only do incalls on specific dates written on my profile and thought I made this pretty clear but apparently not with all the people asking for them generally) and said they ideally want all services to be unprotected (my profile says no bareback under any circumstances and I will block anyone who asks)... So I guess that is a no from me. 😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 08 July 2022, 11:54:34 am
Just been asked to do kink stuff without a safe word.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 08 July 2022, 08:12:02 pm
Quote from: SheffSW on 08 July 2022, 11:54:34 am
Just been asked to do kink stuff without a safe word.  ::)

Boundary pusher.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 08 July 2022, 09:36:47 pm
Quote from: SheffSW on 08 July 2022, 11:54:34 am
Just been asked to do kink stuff without a safe word.  ::)

Wow! Because what would you love more than having no safety measures in place with a total stranger? That's not only a boundary pusher but also not a dom, just someone who thinks dominant means he can do whatever he wants. Arsehole at best, dangerous/abusive at worst. Yuck.

My contribution:
A stupidly long email, that ended with sorry for the long message...that's all I read/skimmed, my eyes glazed over as soon as I saw the length, so I have no idea what he was talking about.  ;D I never read long messages anymore, in my experience I have had 100% timewasters when they have sent a novel!


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: denise96 on 09 July 2022, 10:32:18 am
Can I do this to you, can I do that can I can I... and the list goes on.

I've replied with : read my profile first and then I've said I don't do this I don't do that 🤣🤣

Oh wow you sound way too restrictive for an escort, I'll look for someone else.

Me: ok, have a good day 🤣
* he has reports and I'm not in the mood to answer all the idiotic questions.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 09 July 2022, 01:30:46 pm
I state calls only but I get quite a few texts stating 'is it ok to call?'. I mean it's not school, so I don't get why they need permission. Am I being unreasonable?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 09 July 2022, 05:54:19 pm
Quote from: Milf-G on 08 July 2022, 08:12:02 pm
Boundary pusher.

Quote from: Hannaah on 08 July 2022, 09:36:47 pm
Wow! Because what would you love more than having no safety measures in place with a total stranger? That's not only a boundary pusher but also not a dom, just someone who thinks dominant means he can do whatever he wants. Arsehole at best, dangerous/abusive at worst. Yuck.


Absolutely. I'm so sick of men who think kink is just an excuse to beat up women without any consequences. They have no understanding of what kink really is and how much consent, boundaries and care are actually involved. Yes, it can involve me being, but it has to be done in a way I agree to and I always need to have a way out. I don't even play without safe words with actual partners, so why would I do that with a stranger? 😂 I have had some great kink sessions as a submissive, with clients who showed awareness of my limits and ensured I was okay with what they were doing, but some people seem to think me offering submissive services means they can do whatever to me which is so far from the case. Luckily, people like that pretty much always show themselves early so I can avoid them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 09 July 2022, 08:37:10 pm
I'm naturally submissive but I won't allow clients to do it with me. Wish I could. I long to be tied up lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 10 July 2022, 01:27:54 am
Quote from: Milf-G on 09 July 2022, 08:37:10 pm
I'm naturally submissive but I won't allow clients to do it with me. Wish I could. I long to be tied up lol
Haha!  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 10 July 2022, 02:44:46 pm
Quote from: Milf-G on 09 July 2022, 01:30:46 pm
I state calls only but I get quite a few texts stating 'is it ok to call?'. I mean it's not school, so I don't get why they need permission. Am I being unreasonable?

Yes I get quite a few of those too.
I think they get a kick out of trying to get us to text when we request call only. I assume they are timewasters or just plain stupid and leave them to figure it out for themselves.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 10 July 2022, 03:38:50 pm
Quote from: Milf-G on 09 July 2022, 01:30:46 pm
I state calls only but I get quite a few texts stating 'is it ok to call?'. I mean it's not school, so I don't get why they need permission. Am I being unreasonable?

I get this too, even when I have said 'You can call me anytime'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 10 July 2022, 05:12:21 pm
They can't be bothered calling or reading your requests. Why because they have no intention of turning up for a booking in the first place.
Occasionally a texter might call eventually but it's often in many of our experiences a waste of our time .
 Block and ignore ..I add as spam
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 10 July 2022, 05:16:51 pm
I haven't responded to any. I feel those who ask permission are probably a little too wet behind the ears for my liking, or, timewasters.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 11 July 2022, 12:45:56 pm
"Fancy a car meet £50" I don't do car meets, especially not for that price.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Michellebelle on 16 July 2022, 07:28:29 am
Quote from: bustybbwsteph on 08 June 2022, 10:37:01 am
I have had this email as well, exactly the same wording but from 3 different unlinked accounts all with zero feedback!  ::)

I’ve had this guy try and book me a few times. Tried to book me last week said
Him : “Do you like boxing and fighting ?”
Me: Not particularly
Him: Really turns me on a girl who likes fights.
Me: Maybe you should book someone else hun I’m a lover not a fighter !

Major red flags as don’t fancy getting possibly punched !   
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jadine on 16 July 2022, 03:21:39 pm
I had one message me a few times wanted wrestling and if I was strong enough to  lift  him over my shoulder not my kind of thing  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 16 July 2022, 08:00:52 pm
I too have had a request for wrestling.
I also had a request for lift and carry service.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 17 July 2022, 04:50:08 pm
Text
My curiosity is running wild... would you like a photo of me? If you like me then let's go for a drink.

Spoke to him once. Sounds mega old....
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Petlover29 on 17 July 2022, 04:52:12 pm
Email from a client who had least 10 postive feedback from other ladies.. (he clearly into being a punter) his email said

Would you like a driver for outcalls for your security. I thought no.. As if I want to be sleazed on all night and then having the pleasure at the end of paying Him..

They do delusional some of them. I don’t even reply
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 17 July 2022, 10:31:55 pm
"Hi there,

I'm looking for ladies to join a new naked secretary service. Just like naked cleaning or maidservice but with an 'office' theme.

we'd set up your profile and handle your bookings. You've nothing to loose and could gain good clients. You'd be 100% indy.

please ask anything.

regards

NS."

 ??? ??? ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 18 July 2022, 10:48:07 am
Quote from: Petlover29 on 17 July 2022, 04:52:12 pm
Email from a client who had least 10 postive feedback from other ladies.. (he clearly into being a punter) his email said

Would you like a driver for outcalls for your security. I thought no.. As if I want to be sleazed on all night and then having the pleasure at the end of paying Him..

They do delusional some of them. I don’t even reply

I know so awful with all his feedback same as guys wanting a booking but are advertising themselves as a male escort. It's laughable.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cat_BBW on 18 July 2022, 11:55:23 am
Quote from: SheffSW on 17 July 2022, 10:31:55 pm
"Hi there,

I'm looking for ladies to join a new naked secretary service. Just like naked cleaning or maidservice but with an 'office' theme.

we'd set up your profile and handle your bookings. You've nothing to loose and could gain good clients. You'd be 100% indy.

please ask anything.

regards

NS."

 ??? ??? ???


100% indy yet you have your bookings and profile controlled by a man who has a fetish for naked secretaries.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 18 July 2022, 02:26:44 pm
Quote from: English Green on 18 July 2022, 10:48:07 am
I know so awful with all his feedback same as guys wanting a booking but are advertising themselves as a male escort. It's laughable.

I've had a couple of these too. Always seem to be really dodgy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 18 July 2022, 03:10:46 pm
Him - Can I have an appt this evening. I'm flexible on time.

Gives him appt in 45 minutes knowing he isn't far from me.

Him - Oh sorry that's too soon.

So not flexible on time then.....

Similar to;
Him - Are you free anytime after 2pm.
Me - Yes I can do 2pm
Him - can you do later?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 25 July 2022, 01:32:58 pm
HIM: What dress size are you?
ME: Why?  Are you buying me an outfit?
HIM: I like slim girls.
ME: ...but do THEY like YOU?

No response.  Strange, no?
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 26 July 2022, 02:07:35 pm
I had three good regulars in a row. One I had marked down as a five star regular who are an automatic pick up and "yes" unless they say or do something stupid said and did something stupid... Like, messaged me asking if I was available tonight because he wanted to "cum" in me (I hate that kind of talk) and what time would I be available to. So not feeling too happy messaged him back saying call now to discuss and confirm and he ignored it. I switched my phone back to "do not disturb" after ten minutes and basically just ignored it for the rest of the day. No he didn't call or message back so is marked down as a timewaster.

I'm not paying much attention to my phone lately and catching reports of timewasters and creeps. They're obviously blocked before they bother again.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 26 July 2022, 07:50:03 pm
@ Tickle

I find the men who have been decent and reliable clients and who then display behaviour like this,  prove that they didn't have a grain of respect for me in the first place. Quite disappointing really and after several years doing this work I can probably count on one hand the men who have never put a foot wrong (YET). 😕
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 26 July 2022, 07:53:42 pm
Quote from: Braziliana on 25 July 2022, 01:32:58 pm
HIM: What dress size are you?
ME: Why?  Are you buying me an outfit?
HIM: I like slim girls.
ME: ...but do THEY like YOU?

No response.  Strange, no?
;D

🤣🤣🤣🤣
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Braziliana on 26 July 2022, 10:03:38 pm
Quote from: Milf-G on 26 July 2022, 07:53:42 pm
🤣🤣🤣🤣
;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 27 July 2022, 05:55:39 am
Quote from: Justine on 26 July 2022, 07:50:03 pm
I find the men who have been decent and reliable clients and who then display behaviour like this,  prove that they didn't have a grain of respect for me in the first place. Quite disappointing really and after several years doing this work I can probably count on one hand the men who have never put a foot wrong (YET). 😕

This is sadly the conclusion I came too. It happened just a couple of days after getting some very inappropriate attention in the street in civilian life. I'm learning to handle it better and not dwell on it thankfully.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 27 July 2022, 09:43:31 am
Quote from: Braziliana on 25 July 2022, 01:32:58 pm
HIM: What dress size are you?
ME: Why?  Are you buying me an outfit?
HIM: I like slim girls.
ME: ...but do THEY like YOU?

No response.  Strange, no?
;D

I love your bite back you are so funny and original hahahaha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 27 July 2022, 07:04:21 pm
I was bored so went on a mass blocking of callers out of hours. I know the odd one is worth a call pick up if you're awake and in the mood otherwise mostly a no. Almost all of them turned out to be one off callers or repeat out of hours callers. Only one out of all of them was a decent possible as they had called once at a sensible time to book an evening out call out of area and I couldn't make it at the time. Overall I feel people who call out of hours on balance will likely not be the kind of client I want to see and am blocking mostly in case they wise up and try to book during the day.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 27 July 2022, 08:14:57 pm
Quote from: Tickle on 27 July 2022, 07:04:21 pm
I was bored so went on a mass blocking of callers out of hours. I know the odd one is worth a call pick up if you're awake and in the mood otherwise mostly a no. Almost all of them turned off to be one off callers or repeat out of hours callers. Only one out of all of them was a decent possible as they had called once at a sensible time to book an evening out call out of area and I couldn't make it at the time. Overall I feel people who call out of hours on balance will likely not be the kind of client I want to see and am blocking mostly in case they wise up and try to book during the day.

I do the same. Well, if they ring me at stupid o'clock I wouldn't see them but if they rang the next time at a sensible hour I might consider it. If it's repeated out of hours calls and all my profiles state I don't work past 9pm, then I do block them. I also block repeated texters. I give them 1 chance after the first text, that I always ignore. If they text me again, blocked.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 27 July 2022, 09:22:46 pm
Quote from: Milf-G on 27 July 2022, 08:14:57 pm
I do the same. Well, if they ring me at stupid o'clock I wouldn't see them but if they rang the next time at a sensible hour I might consider it. If it's repeated out of hours calls and all my profiles state I don't work past 9pm, then I do block them. I also block repeated texters. I give them 1 chance after the first text, that I always ignore. If they text me again, blocked.

I used to tag out of hours callers with "OOH". As 99% of them either didn't fit my preferred client profile or fitted the usual pattern of repeat stupidity it became tiresome so I felt it was easier to block them. Scanning through a few months worth of out of hours numbers suggested they weren't the bother so I won't be losing out on a lot. Possibly one call every 1-3 months and that's pushing it. The main clincher really is the vast majority don't fit my preferred client profile so it's an easy filter.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Petlover29 on 28 July 2022, 12:38:28 pm
Without contacting me first.. a random man At 4am in the morning sends me random booking request for tomorrow night for 10hrs overnight. For the comments he put don’t let me down.. ha

I don’t even advertise I do overnights so he clearly hadnt read any of my profile.. I just block and delete these types..

I even have it on my profile don’t send me a booking request without organising it with me first. Yet I still get them sending them without any communication expecting me to be available.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 28 July 2022, 01:54:51 pm
I had a 1am booking request this morning stated 'please text before 3am to say you will call as I'm at work' tore him a new arsehole. I also state don't send random booking requests without making sure I'm free.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 29 July 2022, 12:05:32 pm
Messaging me by introducing himself by name and asking for my rate and location? This rudimentary information is contained in my profile if he could be bothered to read it which is the same place he got my number from. As he couldn't be bothered to call I can't be bothered to reply especially for a speculative request for 5.30pm later in the day. On top of the laziness it's just more psychological distancing. I have turned message enquiries into calls and a firm booking but none I recall which ever met this message profile.

There are times when I hate the marketing, and call and enquiry handling part of this job. I suppose there's a balance to be struck between an effortless plastic smile and utter ruthlessness versus various forms of surly jobsworth flannel. None of this is anywhere near my skillsets. I've got no excuses really having been doing the job for long enough.

Update!

He phoned after lunch but my phone was off. I'm doing my washing and can't be bothered. I've got in the mood for cleaning and reorganising my wardrobe!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 03 August 2022, 03:58:18 am
Quote from: Milf-G on 09 July 2022, 01:30:46 pm
I state calls only but I get quite a few texts stating 'is it ok to call?'. I mean it's not school, so I don't get why they need permission. Am I being unreasonable?

I have exactly the same. I’m calls only and sometimes I get those, usually a bit lengthy texts ending with « is it ok to call? »

I ignore them:
1)if you reply those guys will go on with « ok give me 10 minutes », then « can I ask you a question first » etc. They are just wanting to text, they don’t want to call anyway.

2) it’s a stupid question really. My number is displayed, I have it all over my profile  « calls only », I have a FAQ that I don’t reply to texts/emails. So clearly it’s ok to call. What’s not ok is to text  :FF :FF



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 03 August 2022, 07:50:23 pm
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 03 August 2022, 03:58:18 am
I have exactly the same. I’m calls only and sometimes I get those, usually a bit lengthy texts ending with « is it ok to call? »

I ignore them:
1)if you reply those guys will go on with « ok give me 10 minutes », then « can I ask you a question first » etc. They are just wanting to text, they don’t want to call anyway.

2) it’s a stupid question really. My number is displayed, I have it all over my profile  « calls only », I have a FAQ that I don’t reply to texts/emails. So clearly it’s ok to call. What’s not ok is to text  :FF :FF

Totally agree with you. I just see it as an attempt to push my boundaries now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 05 August 2022, 10:25:32 pm
The SMS classic "Hey". I always wonder if these are automated messages from a shady scam factory based in a low income country.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 06 August 2022, 02:12:17 pm
Can I wank over your flip flops !
Never again am I putting a blog about me going to the beach on my profile  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 10 August 2022, 05:47:08 pm
I'm mostly happy with how I block calls. The persistent ones have been a pest as call reminders from my phone network supplier come in. Thankfully I discovered the "do not notify" setting for individual numbers so won't get pinged every time they call.

After I replied to a voice message and a client who I had previously thrown out turned up until I twigged and cancelled him before he knocked my door I have learned to check the voice message number before replying as it's a loophole they can dodge through.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 10 August 2022, 10:30:50 pm
Had a message from the early hours on WhatsApp just saying "hey x", which I left on read for obvious reasons. A few days later, there was another message "Wow, how rude"  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 11 August 2022, 12:12:28 am
Quote from: SheffSW on 10 August 2022, 10:30:50 pm
Had a message from the early hours on WhatsApp just saying "hey x", which I left on read for obvious reasons. A few days later, there was another message "Wow, how rude"  ::)

Hahahah what a dick. Those - hey - hi - hello all get blocked texts and via whatsapp. I do open and read but still block save as a full stop.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 11 August 2022, 09:07:59 pm
Quote from: SheffSW on 10 August 2022, 10:30:50 pm
Had a message from the early hours on WhatsApp just saying "hey x", which I left on read for obvious reasons. A few days later, there was another message "Wow, how rude"  ::)

Haha
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 14 August 2022, 01:50:23 pm
Do I use cocaine? Maybe I'm leaving money on the table and missing out on a thrilling experience but no I can't say I do.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jadine on 14 August 2022, 09:19:06 pm
I went out today as I didn't want to be stuck in waiting on calls since going back on a certain site I got loads of messages again although I say no text they still do it this wanker
Are you free today for a booking ?
Could you do half a hour ?
?????
Guess not then
Waste of time I tried ringing you
Don't this dickheads realise we are not sat 24/ 7 by our phones
Sometimes it's good they show their true colours as saves having arseholes like that coming with shit attitude
I put on ad I see respectful men but I always get the disrespectful idiots  forever text or ring 🤬
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 15 August 2022, 10:42:57 pm
Quote from: Jadine on 14 August 2022, 09:19:06 pm

Waste of time I tried ringing you


It's so passive aggressive.  You couldn't possibly be with someone else, busy, dealing with a delivery. Many of these types don't think. I would purposely ignore someone who did this to me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 16 August 2022, 08:28:17 am
Not sure if this is "How not to book" or "Things clients do to annoy", but making his 3rd booking with me he asked for bareback. On 2nd booking he tried to reduce my minimum booking time (to be honest he would be happy with half an hour but my minimum is for a reason and there is reasonable travel involved plus I'd planned for the hour/turned others away on basis I only usually take one booking per day).

I've been seeing him in shared staff type accommodation after some consideration which so far has been fine (in my area many staff just have zero other option due to high living costs). Just feel so insulted to be asked I don't even have bareback with my husband.

So far told him no booking.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 16 August 2022, 05:39:21 pm
Long message asking whether I would be interested in a catfight with another escort at a safe place of his choosing. He would pay well!

Not remotely interested so a block and report. I have zero interest in indulging his timewasting or abusive fantasies. I couldn't play fight if I tried nor want to run the risk of hurting anyone, nor have any wish to be filmed or exposed to any other risk. That's before the toxicity of it all.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 17 August 2022, 07:01:08 pm
I had one of these messages too before and for mud wrestling request as well.
With any luck no one will entertain them!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 17 August 2022, 10:24:29 pm
Quote from: Tickle on 16 August 2022, 05:39:21 pm
Long message asking whether I would be interested in a catfight with another escort at a safe place of his choosing. He would pay well!

Not remotely interested so a block and report. I have zero interest in indulging his timewasting or abusive fantasies. I couldn't play fight if I tried nor want to run the risk of hurting anyone, nor have any wish to be filmed or exposed to any other risk. That's before the toxicity of it all.

I've had this multiple times both on text as well as AW.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 27 August 2022, 05:28:21 pm
A new prospect phoned for a booking at a specific time tomorrow. I kept it short because as I picked up he was mentally surprised when I answered and kept it to taking his name for my phone book and asking him to call tomorrow. He was young and foreign and I couldn't read him right hence being a bit uptight. Then he messaged if I was on Whatsapp. Oh, here we go... Phone only... Then he asked for my address so I ignored him and tagged him as questionable and a timewaster.

I haven't seen many regulars lately and have been feeling more anxious after too many calls from timewasters and those with warnings. Reminder to self not to take work just for the money or because I want to give someone a chance.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 27 August 2022, 08:48:42 pm
On tour atm
Him - I have a fetish for women to dress in Muslim clothes, do you have a hijab you can wear'.
Me - mate I'm white English I do not own such clothing and I'm on tour so clearly not bringing lots with me.
Pretty certain I won't add a hijab to my whore-drobe...
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 29 August 2022, 04:48:16 pm
Him messaging me on AW asking if I was available then not calling when requested. I was going to have a bath this morning so he replies wish he could join me while not calling. Then he messages again on AW late afternoon asking if I would do an outcall. I'm not in the mood for it and not replying.

I'm getting nothing but inarticulate twats on AW at the moment.

I actually had an accident and nicked myself so rocking a sexy plaster. Cue pulling the plug on my bath and the rest of the day including some DIY I wanted to do.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 29 August 2022, 07:43:36 pm
Quote from: Milf-G on 27 August 2022, 08:48:42 pm
On tour atm
Him - I have a fetish for women to dress in Muslim clothes, do you have a hijab you can wear'.
Me - mate I'm white English I do not own such clothing and I'm on tour so clearly not bringing lots with me.
Pretty certain I won't add a hijab to my whore-drobe...
Convinced they deliberatly  ask for what  we do not have
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 29 August 2022, 08:48:14 pm
Call this afternoon:

Client: I have a bit of a weird request, it’s probably something you’ve never heard before..

Me, thinking to myself: I’m about to hang up, aren’t I.

Client: Could I pay you to drive barefoot for half an hour?

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 07 September 2022, 01:59:51 pm
Can I call to talk about my small penis ?!
This was an email request ..

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ana66 on 18 September 2022, 12:32:40 am
Yesterday had a guy contacting me through AW stating that he would feel more comfortable going through the whole booking process on the AW messaging system only because he doesn't have a "dedicated phone" to this lol and also I'm "safe" because he has some good feedback.

Typical massive red blag !! I suspect it's somebody who tried to contact me before (with his phone) but I refused to see him so obviously he doesn't want me to see his phone number
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 18 September 2022, 11:09:09 pm
Quote from: Ana66 on 18 September 2022, 12:32:40 am
Yesterday had a guy contacting me through AW stating that he would feel more comfortable going through the whole booking process on the AW messaging system only because he doesn't have a "dedicated phone" to this lol and also I'm "safe" because he has some good feedback.

Typical massive red blag !! I suspect it's somebody who tried to contact me before (with his phone) but I refused to see him so obviously he doesn't want me to see his phone number


Definitely dodgy. I've had ones that want to communicate by email or KIK only. When I first started I allowed it, now I'm 2 years in I wouldn't dream of it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ana66 on 19 September 2022, 04:44:46 pm
Quote from: Milf-G on 18 September 2022, 11:09:09 pm


Definitely dodgy. I've had ones that want to communicate by email or KIK only. When I first started I allowed it, now I'm 2 years in I wouldn't dream of it.

OMG KIK, why are those men so obsessed with KIK, this app is soooo dodgy, just the name KIK is a massive red flag  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 19 September 2022, 04:58:15 pm
Quote from: Ana66 on 19 September 2022, 04:44:46 pm
OMG KIK, why are those men so obsessed with KIK, this app is soooo dodgy, just the name KIK is a massive red flag  ::)

It was MSN messenger when I started  ::) ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jadine on 20 September 2022, 06:00:27 pm
Hi
I can do some naked cleaning
Just relief me over your tits or panties

Do these idiots think I let someone like them in my yard ? Especially when his hidden feedback for a free service ? like I really let a stranger in to rob my stuff yeh right.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 23 September 2022, 07:55:03 pm
Hey hun could I make a booking please hun is bareback extra if ok thanks hun am 38 year old fit scouser soo am told lol thanks hun

it's not even the bareback mention that annoys me the most (which is plastered everywhere I don't do) or that I don't care what he looks like, or that he's under my age minimum, but the "hun" every other fucking word. Jesus christ.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 24 September 2022, 04:32:32 am
Quote from: Hannaah on 23 September 2022, 07:55:03 pm
Hey hun could I make a booking please hun is bareback extra if ok thanks hun am 38 year old fit scouser soo am told lol thanks hun

it's not even the bareback mention that annoys me the most (which is plastered everywhere I don't do) or that I don't care what he looks like, or that he's under my age minimum, but the "hun" every other fucking word. Jesus christ.  :FF

I get these types of.messages so often. My sarcasm always gets the better of me and I end up replying

I don't do bareback as no amount of money is worth the risk of an std that can kill me but if you think your fit that changes everything...

And the worst part is a couple of them didn't get the sarcasm. I despair.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 24 September 2022, 11:05:37 pm
How to tell me you got my number from Adultwork without telling me you got my number from Adultwork:

Asking for 'A Levels', instead of just saying 'anal', like any normal adult.

Mentioning a 'likes list' rather than services

Calling a booking/incall a 'meet' or asking to 'meet up' (no, I am not going to meet you anywhere, bellend)

'Profile' instead of 'website' or 'ad' (and they've always 'seen' it, but never READ it)

'I really like your profile! Where are you based?' (when my location is on the top line in bold capital letters)

'I have feedbacks so I must be genuine!' (not so, even if I was the slightest bit interested in reading a load of trite platitudes written by people who probably couldn't pick you out of a police lineup five minutes after you left, but want a feedback themselves)

Sigh. And another day using the green AT thing to whittle the credits down a bit drew to a close :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 25 September 2022, 08:55:27 am
Quote from: Hannaah on 23 September 2022, 07:55:03 pm
Hey hun could I make a booking please hun is bareback extra if ok thanks hun am 38 year old fit scouser soo am told lol thanks hun

 I don't care what he looks like, or that he's under my age minimum, but the "hun" every other fucking word. Jesus christ.  :FF

As soon as I see "hun" or "darling"  it sets my teeth on edge, a huge red flag and I know I'm not going to take them seriously.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jadine on 28 September 2022, 08:40:59 pm
I detest them calling me that and I make it clear I am not their hun , their babe and rest of  petnames .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 29 September 2022, 08:14:20 am
Quote from: Jadine on 28 September 2022, 08:40:59 pm
I detest them calling me that and I make it clear I am not their hun , their babe and rest of  petnames .
I know .. each caller that referred to me by those names was a time waster never genuine
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ana66 on 29 September 2022, 01:46:39 pm
Quote from: Jadine on 28 September 2022, 08:40:59 pm
I detest them calling me that and I make it clear I am not their hun , their babe and rest of  petnames .

Oh yes this one  :-X :-X :-X I specifically mention on my profile that people calling me with pet names like that will not get an answer. If a regular does it, I tell them to stop doing so but as Kiss said, when it's a new client calling you like that it's never genuine in 99% of the cases
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Ana66 on 29 September 2022, 01:52:44 pm
Quote from: amy on 24 September 2022, 11:05:37 pm
How to tell me you got my number from Adultwork without telling me you got my number from Adultwork:

Asking for 'A Levels', instead of just saying 'anal', like any normal adult.


Calling a booking/incall a 'meet' or asking to 'meet up' (no, I am not going to meet you anywhere, bellend)

Oh yes these omg, I've also had somebody mentioning that he wanted O-levels once, I was like what's this ? And he told me it just meant normal vaginal sex, I was like what's the point of using such complicated terms when you can just say it in a simple way

And the "would you be interested in meeting up?" always make me cringe  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 29 September 2022, 09:21:43 pm
Hi babe, if you want 80 £ for 45 .. i'm young, from Italy .. Tatoo , blue eyes .. I really fancy your pics .. I come for sure , I promise, let me know and I call you for confirmation now .  and I'm happy with Whatshap pics or video call , or snap ... i look very nice ... I can prove this

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Tickle on 30 September 2022, 06:46:50 pm
Bad signal so I had to repeat what I thought he heard so I could confirm he said what I thought he said. Then he asks if I do half an hour. No... One hour minimum. What charge for one hour? So I say that's in my profile and he may or may not have muttered he read it but I was already not paying attention to him and told him I wouldn't be seeing him and ended the call and blocked him.

I really don't like seeing lazy losers who can't pay attention and who disrespect me by not reading and digesting my profile before calling. I know some think they can just stick their willy in me like I'm a fungible dehumanised commodity. It is nice though if they can at least suspend disbelief and put on a pretense for the duration.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 30 September 2022, 11:34:48 pm
I was already declining based on the message before I even finished reading it but the end just made me laugh in disbelief. Wants to hurt and bruise me until I safeword...repeatedly. And then do it again. Yeah, I'd love my safewords being ignored!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 02 October 2022, 10:11:02 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 30 September 2022, 11:34:48 pm
I was already declining based on the message before I even finished reading it but the end just made me laugh in disbelief. Wants to hurt and bruise me until I safeword...repeatedly. And then do it again. Yeah, I'd love my safewords being ignored!

Wtf!!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 03 October 2022, 01:02:38 pm
'Im not sure if this number is real but I saw you on (enter website here) and wanted to ask about maybe seeing you at some point next week?


This website shows when I was last online (which was this morning), it also shows my profile & contact number are verified (Definitely a real number) - Why is it so hard to just give me the details that I ask for  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 03 October 2022, 05:21:27 pm
Hi I was wondering if your able to do a 15 booking for �40 or �45?  Your not loosing money andif u can't no worries :)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 04 October 2022, 10:01:07 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 03 October 2022, 05:21:27 pm
Hi I was wondering if your able to do a 15 booking for �40 or �45?  Your not loosing money andif u can't no worries :)

I got asked for £30 for 10 minute quickie, when I said no he told me that was all I was worth and to go back to my own country. Hard as I'm white british. I am still the only person to have reported him yet he's text me at least twice since, offering £40. Some SP must accept hagglers is my guess.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jadine on 06 October 2022, 04:10:32 pm
As soon as they open their mouths I can most of the time know they are stupid  , I had one today ( my phones crystal clear ) hello twice  after I responded back  in a weird voice  , I just put it down straightaway , why is it most tws have a strange sounding voice too is it because they get so excited knowing or about to ( unless I get one over them suss them out  ) they  can waste your time ?  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 06 October 2022, 10:42:51 pm
Texted to ask my availability, I answered. The response: "Postcode".  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 07 October 2022, 06:08:50 am
Guy on cam asked if I meet, told him I do & to read my profile then email me with the relevant details, 5 minutes later - 'How much for 15 minute Oily tit wank' - Ignored

Then another guy messages me on whatsapp asking for a incall this weekend while he is up north (again all profiles clearly show it's Outcalls only) then sends a secondary message before I can reply saying 'BTW I Have an R8'  ???

Like, how is that relevant to anything??

Immediate thought of Shania Twain!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 07 October 2022, 08:15:50 am
Quote from: bustybbwsteph on 07 October 2022, 06:08:50 am
Guy on cam asked if I meet, told him I do & to read my profile then email me with the relevant details, 5 minutes later - 'How much for 15 minute Oily tit wank' - Ignored

Then another guy messages me on whatsapp asking for a incall this weekend while he is up north (again all profiles clearly show it's Outcalls only) then sends a secondary message before I can reply saying 'BTW I Have an R8'  ???

Like, how is that relevant to anything??

Immediate thought of Shania Twain!

The "How much for X?" messages really annoy me. I make it clear on my profile that pretty much everything on my likes list is included (the two things that aren't are something I've only had a few clients go for and something else none of my clients have gone for, so all the standard stuff and then things like kink are all included in my rates). Like, I don't know how much as you haven't even told me how long you want, so I can't tell you which of my prices that are clearly displayed on my profile it will be, until you tell me that crucial information. Even worse is when I ask and they say "I just want a quick X" - well, fine, you can pay the 15 minute rate then. I think some say that because they're hoping to get a cheaper price than the 15 minute one because they "only" want X, but it's not happening. ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyJ on 08 October 2022, 08:39:38 pm
Miss a call and send back a text with my availability. He calls back and his voice sounded odd, maybe inebriated or something and he says ‘do you do a service where you pick me up’ to which I replied ‘I think you mistake me for a taxi darling’ and hang up.

He then texts ‘No I want you to pick me up and do our business and that’s it’

What the fuck. Then he calls again and just out of curiosity picked up and he blathered on how he thought I would pick him up, he was definitely drunk. I told him that’s not how it works and to stop contacting me.

What a weirdo.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 09 October 2022, 03:55:19 pm
Quote from: LadyJ on 08 October 2022, 08:39:38 pm
Miss a call and send back a text with my availability. He calls back and his voice sounded odd, maybe inebriated or something and he says ‘do you do a service where you pick me up’ to which I replied ‘I think you mistake me for a taxi darling’ and hang up.

He then texts ‘No I want you to pick me up and do our business and that’s it’

What the fuck. Then he calls again and just out of curiosity picked up and he blathered on how he thought I would pick him up, he was definitely drunk. I told him that’s not how it works and to stop contacting me.

What a weirdo.

Yup, I've had 'can you pick me up from xxx' requests before. I'm a hoe not an uber.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 09 October 2022, 06:57:30 pm
I can't believe someone sent an * exclusive*  tempting offer to me  ::)  give up work and for a great rate see him only . I think they must send loads of those invites out seeing who bites the bait !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: KirstyKiss on 09 October 2022, 08:06:51 pm
Email via AW for the extremely tempting (not) offer of a week in Cyprus with sightseeing and 'some personal' time.
All I need is a ticket apparently.
I wonder if I'd need to get my own taxi at the airport too ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 10 October 2022, 08:09:28 am
Quote from: KirstyKiss on 09 October 2022, 08:06:51 pm
Email via AW for the extremely tempting (not) offer of a week in Cyprus with sightseeing and 'some personal' time.
All I need is a ticket apparently.
I wonder if I'd need to get my own taxi at the airport too ::)
Of course you must get your taxi  ,food drinks + condoms and lube !!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 10 October 2022, 08:16:08 am
Quote from: SheffSW on 07 October 2022, 08:15:50 am
The "How much for X?" messages really annoy me. I make it clear on my profile that pretty much everything on my likes list is included (the two things that aren't are something I've only had a few clients go for and something else none of my clients have gone for, so all the standard stuff and then things like kink are all included in my rates). Like, I don't know how much as you haven't even told me how long you want, so I can't tell you which of my prices that are clearly displayed on my profile it will be, until you tell me that crucial information. Even worse is when I ask and they say "I just want a quick X" - well, fine, you can pay the 15 minute rate then. I think some say that because they're hoping to get a cheaper price than the 15 minute one because they "only" want X, but it's not happening. ::)

It seems some of these guys assume they can just pay by the service & not the duration in the hope they can get it cheaper - Same as yourself, my profile states my rates are 'fully inclusive' but it is a 1 hour minimum duration - especially being Outcall Only I am going to make it worth visiting them
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyJ on 10 October 2022, 02:24:08 pm
Quote from: bustybbwsteph on 10 October 2022, 08:16:08 am
It seems some of these guys assume they can just pay by the service & not the duration in the hope they can get it cheaper - Same as yourself, my profile states my rates are 'fully inclusive' but it is a 1 hour minimum duration - especially being Outcall Only I am going to make it worth visiting them

I just got one of those today asking how much for a bj. I texted saying call to book (as I require) but pretty much knew he wouldn’t, also said you pay for my time not per service, and that it depends on hygiene/cleanliness.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 12 October 2022, 08:49:07 am
Any number of random whatsapp messages this week (and it's only Wednesday!) ranging from 'OIOI Steph' - That was the entire message! To 'I am not wasting your time, I am asking questions' << The question he was asking was if I did incalls  ::) ::)

Decided to take my number off AW & see if I find less TWs coming from the other sites I advertise on, AW is my main directory for Outcalls atm so I have ticked the 'show email address' as a means of contact instead

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyJ on 12 October 2022, 11:51:09 am
Quote from: bustybbwsteph on 12 October 2022, 08:49:07 am
Any number of random whatsapp messages this week (and it's only Wednesday!) ranging from 'OIOI Steph' - That was the entire message! To 'I am not wasting your time, I am asking questions' << The question he was asking was if I did incalls  ::) ::)

Decided to take my number off AW & see if I find less TWs coming from the other sites I advertise on, AW is my main directory for Outcalls atm so I have ticked the 'show email address' as a means of contact instead

That’s why I just deleted WhatsApp a while back, all I got were more TWs. I find it’s when I’m on Viva I get the most blatant TWs.

Had a great one today. A guy pretending he wanted an overnight to a hotel (I do massage ffs) I double checked he knew what I offered he seemed to saying he liked to be ‘pampered’. I said ok but I require a deposit, he said fine. But my spidey senses were tingling, like boundary pushing opportunities for him if true.

Then he outed himself by asking for a WhatsApp video call because he needed to have an attraction. What a joke 😂

I checked on CE and he had many similar reports, usually asking to see you naked on WhatsApp. Complete loser.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 12 October 2022, 03:06:06 pm
Quote from: LadyJ on 12 October 2022, 11:51:09 am
That’s why I just deleted WhatsApp a while back, all I got were more TWs. I find it’s when I’m on Viva I get the most blatant TWs.

Had a great one today. A guy pretending he wanted an overnight to a hotel (I do massage ffs) I double checked he knew what I offered he seemed to saying he liked to be ‘pampered’. I said ok but I require a deposit, he said fine. But my spidey senses were tingling, like boundary pushing opportunities for him if true.

Then he outed himself by asking for a WhatsApp video call because he needed to have an attraction. What a joke 😂

I checked on CE and he had many similar reports, usually asking to see you naked on WhatsApp. Complete loser.

I've had quite a few asking me to send a photo, when I point at my AW profile, website, social media they either say they cannot find it or do not trust websites. Those websites show I have a presence, been around a while, invest time and money. I could send anything by email or text (WA is only for paid cam/videos/photos). They say they are afraid of scams, will send their own photo, are genuine/decent etc. Next minute they ask for bareback, say they will obtain drugs or to forgo the deposit.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 14 October 2022, 07:15:18 pm
Text: "You available, what's your service?" Maybe you'd know if you read my very thorough profile and "enjoys" list.  ::)

Also got a text from someone saying he got my number from AW and would like to make a booking. This same guy made a booking yesterday and was a no show. 🤦‍♀️
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 14 October 2022, 08:46:58 pm
Quote from: SheffSW on 14 October 2022, 07:15:18 pm
Text: "You available, what's your service?" Maybe you'd know if you read my very thorough profile and "enjoys" list.  ::)

Also got a text from someone saying he got my number from AW and would like to make a booking. This same guy made a booking yesterday and was a no show. 🤦‍♀️

So many lazy idiots around just now.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 14 October 2022, 09:55:08 pm
Quote from: fallen angel on 14 October 2022, 08:46:58 pm
So many lazy idiots around just now.

Honestly i think a lot of them do it on purpose because these same morons get told by other escorts go read my profile as i am not going to go over everything on phone and rather then learn they still do it to several more escorts and wonder why they get instantly blocked.

I have never in all my life known such time wasters and rude texters in all my life. All i do is spend a lot of time instantly blocking these morons when i see they got history for it or stupid texts. So many profiles have rules mentioning this but still it continues and continues so i have to assume a lot know not to do it but still choose to.

I wish the text system could also be eliminated so i could dump a lot in one go.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 14 October 2022, 10:50:06 pm
Yeah, I'm not wasting my time and phone credit listing everything I do just for them to never actually make a booking. I do quite a variety of services and my profile makes this very clear. I always assume they just want free sexy chat when they do this. It's annoying when I get the "Do you do ___?" texts when it's clear on my profile that I do, but at least that's a specific question that I can just give a yes to. I agree that people are extremely rude via text. The amount I get demanding to know the postcode straight away.  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: LadyJ on 15 October 2022, 04:41:51 pm
OMG so many moronic TWs today like an explosion of them, most of them have in common they read nothing and assume I offer full service, even when I say only call back to book if you are aware of what I offer they called not knowing what I offered. Tearing my hair out.

One guy swore at me when I refused to see him (had reports for abuse)

I think the majority of TWs came from Viva but surprised so many today as my week advertising there is nearly up.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 16 October 2022, 11:45:18 pm
Quote from: LadyJ on 15 October 2022, 04:41:51 pm
OMG so many moronic TWs today like an explosion of them, most of them have in common they read nothing and assume I offer full service, even when I say only call back to book if you are aware of what I offer they called not knowing what I offered. Tearing my hair out.

One guy swore at me when I refused to see him (had reports for abuse)

I think the majority of TWs came from Viva but surprised so many today as my week advertising there is nearly up.

They don't read at all. A few months back I wasn't offering full service and the amount of guys who said they read profile the when asked if they understood it was just massage or hand service.... lazy twats not reading.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: BJC on 25 October 2022, 08:34:06 pm
I've had a recent spate of guys saying if I agree to see them for cheaper they'll be a regular client.
I don't get it. Why would I want to be underpaid on a regular basis? I've yet to receive an answer expanding from further than "but I'll be regular babe"... Again, regularly underpaid does not appeal to me.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 25 October 2022, 09:55:36 pm
When they send you a page of roleplay late in the day about a booking for NEXT WEEK and then email again several hours later to ask if you've had chance to read it yet like you don't have anything else going on in your life.

Drives me up the effing wall!  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PinkR2021 on 26 October 2022, 07:31:01 am
Client: Hello. Are you available on (a date and time I don’t work which is clearly on my profile).

Me: Hello. Thanks for your message. Unfortunately I don’t take bookings from people who don’t read my profile. Best wishes.

Client: I wasn’t expecting such a rude message! The first time I messaged, I did read your profile but as your requirements wasn’t on the first page nor is the need to read each tab . (I’m assuming they mean they shouldn’t have to read tabs?)

Me: Well you clearly haven’t read my profile. And if you can’t be bothered to do that, then it makes me wonder if you’d bother to turn up. I hope you find someone with a shorter profile to accommodate you. Best wishes.
 :FF
The irony is the availability tab is the first tab I have so it’s the first one you’d see. I’m rude for expecting someone to read my profile- that’s a new one 😂

Update: He came back and accused me of being rude for assuming whether he read my profile  :FF . (Which he obviously hadn’t as he asked me to work a day I don’t).But he’s going to go find someone more accommodating . I wished him luck in finding someone who doesn’t require him to read their profiles .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 26 October 2022, 11:49:51 am
Quote from: BJC on 25 October 2022, 08:34:06 pm
I've had a recent spate of guys saying if I agree to see them for cheaper they'll be a regular client.
I don't get it. Why would I want to be underpaid on a regular basis? I've yet to receive an answer expanding from further than "but I'll be regular babe"... Again, regularly underpaid does not appeal to me.

And why would we believe some random promising to be a "regular"?
One cheap visit then onto trying the same thing with someone else .. No thanks.
They really must think we are daft.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 26 October 2022, 03:15:07 pm
Quote from: PinkR2021 on 26 October 2022, 07:31:01 am
Client: Hello. Are you available on (a date and time I don’t work which is clearly on my profile).

Me: Hello. Thanks for your message. Unfortunately I don’t take bookings from people who don’t read my profile. Best wishes.

Client: I wasn’t expecting such a rude message! The first time I messaged, I did read your profile but as your requirements wasn’t on the first page nor is the need to read each tab . (I’m assuming they mean they shouldn’t have to read tabs?)

Me: Well you clearly haven’t read my profile. And if you can’t be bothered to do that, then it makes me wonder if you’d bother to turn up. I hope you find someone with a shorter profile to accommodate you. Best wishes.
 :FF
The irony is the availability tab is the first tab I have so it’s the first one you’d see. I’m rude for expecting someone to read my profile- that’s a new one 😂

Update: He came back and accused me of being rude for assuming whether he read my profile  :FF . (Which he obviously hadn’t as he asked me to work a day I don’t).But he’s going to go find someone more accommodating . I wished him luck in finding someone who doesn’t require him to read their profiles .

Arseholes like that get on my tits. Entitled pricks who go by the beat of their own drum. Fools. :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 07 November 2022, 07:07:36 am
Quote
Message (via contact form): Can I book outcall ** Argyll street London W1F*** please okay?

Quote
Message (via contact form): Can I book you?

Quote
(Via email): Can I book you, when is it convenient for you to meet me?



All from the same useless person.  I don't think I have had anything quite so lacking in any useful information before.

Maybe he has me confused with a psychic.  Either way, it does not take a genius or even a crystal ball to foretell that he has screened himself out of ever booking me!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PinkR2021 on 08 November 2022, 09:18:54 am
Quote from: Miffy on 07 November 2022, 07:07:36 am


All from the same useless person.  I don't think I have had anything quite so lacking in any useful information before.

Maybe he has me confused with a psychic.  Either way, it does not take a genius or even a crystal ball to foretell that he has screened himself out of ever booking me!
I had a text in regards to the Argyll Street. Instantly blocked as I live nowhere near there. Must be doing the rounds
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 08 November 2022, 09:19:03 pm
I only visit hotels which the address given was not, plus he used my contact form - only time wasters use that, so knew it was a non-starter at the outset!




Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 11 November 2022, 09:05:40 am
Calls me repeatedly by another name on AW emails, despite me seeing him before, albeit it was a while ago. This man has loads of feedback, so probably can't keep up with whom he's emailing  ::) ::) ::)

He originally booked an hour last time then shorted it to my half hour fee because he was late  ::)

So, yeah, really gutted he didn't email me back when I corrected him on the name issue  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 11 November 2022, 02:43:29 pm
Guy messages on whatsapp last nigth asking for a meeting in a nearby town - I tell him I am not available until next week - Not an issue, wants to pre book for Monday, send him payment details & he replies with 'I can pay the full amount via e giftcard now' erm No! Then asks if he can pay the full amount via AW CREDITS!  :o

Told him where to go & blocked him........ Decided to remove my number from every profile I can & make it email contact only (I am outcalls only so I am not really bothered about them not being able to ring/text me)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Boudoir on 11 November 2022, 07:20:52 pm
Him: Hiya I'm a 31 yr old looking for a mature 50+ woman for a discreet fuck buddy I have a 7 inch cock and can accommodate, cheers
Me: 'Fuck buddy'  = for free?
Him: I can accommodate as well and yes
Me: Your request is like asking a barber for a free haircut or a shop for free food
Him: Haha I think I'll choose the barber option or a motorist ask a petrol station for free fuel
Me: So you know what my answer is don't you?
Him: Indeed I do
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 13 November 2022, 01:34:02 pm
When they send you a message saying they want to book you and won't let you down, forgetting they booked you then cancelled on the day twice earlier in the year.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 13 November 2022, 02:28:29 pm
Quote from: SheffSW on 13 November 2022, 01:34:02 pm
When they send you a message saying they want to book you and won't let you down, forgetting they booked you then cancelled on the day twice earlier in the year.  ::)

This is why I don't delete messages or emails
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissWolf on 13 November 2022, 06:00:24 pm
Quote from: SheffSW on 13 November 2022, 01:34:02 pm
When they send you a message saying they want to book you and won't let you down, forgetting they booked you then cancelled on the day twice earlier in the year.  ::)

The very fact that they felt the need to tellyou they wouldn't let you down normally means that that is exactly what they will do  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Boudoir on 13 November 2022, 06:03:55 pm
Quote from: MissWolf on 13 November 2022, 06:00:24 pm
The very fact that they felt the need to tellyou they wouldn't let you down normally means that that is exactly what they will do  :FF

....and usually do!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 13 November 2022, 06:37:26 pm
Quote from: Boudoir on 13 November 2022, 06:03:55 pm
....and usually do!

It's always the case. I have some knob whom I'm unfortunate enough to know in my civvy life who tells me this repeatedly and I've yet to see this happen  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PinkR2021 on 15 November 2022, 06:18:45 pm
Quote from: Steph89x on 13 November 2022, 02:28:29 pm
This is why I don't delete messages or emails

I never delete any messages just in case. I think my phone is going to start running out of room
Soon  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 15 November 2022, 08:58:33 pm
Quote from: Steph89x on 13 November 2022, 02:28:29 pm
This is why I don't delete messages or emails
Of course their mate was using their phone, or it's a work phone used by different people, or they only just bought the phone so could not possibly be them.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: oleyoleyWG on 25 November 2022, 10:19:37 am
I’m about to lose my shit today. I’m having a busy tour but fuck me im sick to death of asking them asking ‘are you free today’ YES MY AVAILABLE TODAY BANNER ISNT A JOKE ITS FOR REAL IM ACTUALLY HERE AND AVAILABLE. And Jesus Christ asking what time they’d like is getting blood out of a stone and they’re like what time are you free? All day pal. Pick a fucking time that suits you. They cannot pick a time to save their lives they just keep asking when I’m free and I tell them clearly to book you need to pick a time but no we go round in circles. I’d go mad without saafe to have a quick rant. I feel better already.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 25 November 2022, 11:54:36 am
Quote from: oleyoleyWG on 25 November 2022, 10:19:37 am
I’m about to lose my shit today. I’m having a busy tour but fuck me im sick to death of asking them asking ‘are you free today’ YES MY AVAILABLE TODAY BANNER ISNT A JOKE ITS FOR REAL IM ACTUALLY HERE AND AVAILABLE. And Jesus Christ asking what time they’d like is getting blood out of a stone and they’re like what time are you free? All day pal. Pick a fucking time that suits you. They cannot pick a time to save their lives they just keep asking when I’m free and I tell them clearly to book you need to pick a time but no we go round in circles. I’d go mad without saafe to have a quick rant. I feel better already.

This is the most infuriating situation of the job the constant thick questions it's like a never ending nightmare it drives me insane. There is no proper interaction anymore It's just like a load of robots programmed to annoy you with ping pong timewasting questions.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 25 November 2022, 12:35:22 pm
Whenever I get the "what time are you free" questions I simply reply "please tell me when you would like to visit me and I will let you know if that is possible" and if no follow up from them they are ignored from then on. Doesn't matter if they send more messages/emails, I don't reply.  Ping pong messages are of no interest to me at all. Everything they need to know is right there where they found me, my flipping profile. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 25 November 2022, 02:20:30 pm
Email 'When are you next in Chester?'

Reply 'When you book me for an Outcall to visit Chester'

*** CRICKETS ***

All week all I have had is phone call after phone call & either no responses to my auto message or being told I am out of their price range  ::)

Although I did have a 'charming' guy message me on whatsapp asking for a 'rough throat fucking' (I told him I don't offer submissive services of any kind to new clients) He then told me he had no interest in getting to know me as he just wanted to use my throat - Lovely!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 27 November 2022, 08:33:55 pm
Text on Saturday morning (just after midnight) asking if I was available 'high rates paid', then asked if I could recommend a friend  ::) Come to tonight & he is messaging again, told him I wouldn't see him because of his previous messages, then sends several messages trying to convince me he is 'a nice guy' 'It will be easy money for me' and that I 'shouldn't judge a book by it's cover' - He likes the look of me & that's why he is persistant!

Do some of these guys actually think at all before contacting us!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: One More Rodeo on 28 November 2022, 04:10:54 pm
Email starting with:

"I have just recently lost my job and as such I can't afford any adult services."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 28 November 2022, 04:17:07 pm
Quote from: One More Rodeo on 28 November 2022, 04:10:54 pm
Email starting with:

"I have just recently lost my job and as such I can't afford any adult services."

 ::) Let me get out my tiny violin & throw you a freebie  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: One More Rodeo on 28 November 2022, 04:19:28 pm
Quote from: Steph89x on 28 November 2022, 04:17:07 pm
::) Let me get out my tiny violin & throw you a freebie  ::)
Haha :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SquirtyQueen on 29 November 2022, 10:41:04 pm
"Hi would you trade a phone for an outcall? It's worth £150"
Tempting  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 01 December 2022, 05:07:31 pm
Quote from: SquirtyQueen on 29 November 2022, 10:41:04 pm
"Hi would you trade a phone for an outcall? It's worth £150"
Tempting  :FF

hahahaha WHAT?!! My god these men!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: oleyoleyWG on 01 December 2022, 09:01:09 pm
Quote from: SquirtyQueen on 29 November 2022, 10:41:04 pm
"Hi would you trade a phone for an outcall? It's worth £150"
Tempting  :FF
hilarious I remember a few years ago when I was on tour with a friend and a guy wanted to pay us in Debenhams vouchers!! Wtf lol x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Miffy on 06 December 2022, 06:51:19 pm
Quote
Can you look ahead into your diary for late afternoon 30th
November?
If there are any gaps, I’d love to squeeze in for an hour or so of your special time!!
I’m a very mature Scotsman and very generous to my confidantes; I just hope you might be a very special one?!
Where about in London is your incall location?

Till then
Mr Cut & Paste xx

Not entirely sure whose website he was reading before he sent this cut & paste message, but it mostly certainly wasn't mine.  (I don't offer any of the things he seeks).  The analytics support this too - message sent within 10 seconds of visiting my site.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 12 December 2022, 04:04:51 pm
Saying he wants a booking this afternoon but wants to wait until it's dark so no one will see him arriving or leaving   ???

Could they possibly make themselves sound any more suspiscious and unappealing ??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 12 December 2022, 04:49:51 pm
Quote from: fallen angel on 12 December 2022, 04:04:51 pm
Saying he wants a booking this afternoon but wants to wait until it's dark so no one will see him arriving or leaving   ???

Could they possibly make themselves sound any more suspiscious and unappealing ??

Ha!! Love it! Reminds me of the man who asked for a booking and enquired was I in a house or in some high rise block. I confirmed it was a house in a quiet road and he then requested would I please be standing at the window in just bra and pants as this would turn him on so much and he would know he had the right place!

Instead of replying that the red lamp in the window would "guide him in" (oh I was tempted) I said sorry we would not be meeting. Blocked!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 13 December 2022, 06:11:50 am
Quote from: fallen angel on 12 December 2022, 04:04:51 pm
Saying he wants a booking this afternoon but wants to wait until it's dark so no one will see him arriving or leaving   ???

Could they possibly make themselves sound any more suspiscious and unappealing ??

Yes I have had a few like that over the years both incall and outcall, and some of the outcall come in the dark properties have been quite difficult to get to - challenging driving.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PinkR2021 on 14 December 2022, 10:28:19 am
Quote from: Justine on 12 December 2022, 04:49:51 pm
l I confirmed it was a house in a quiet road and he then requested would I please be standing at the window in just bra and pants as this would turn him on so much and he would know he had the right place!
I had a client who I thankfully don’t see anymore, who kept asking me to greet him as I open the door in my underwear. I work from a hotel. He couldn’t see the issue and got quite shitty every time I said no near the end. Dropped him shortly after that.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PinkR2021 on 14 December 2022, 09:08:36 pm
Well I got a new one today: asking if I had any experience fu*king dogs. In his defence he admitted it was an unusual request (no shit mate!)  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 15 December 2022, 09:13:05 pm
Mmmm absolutely love your profile and pictures
Hi bbe how are you? Love to get to know you! You available for chat or meet tonight ? Are you on WhatsApp or Snapchat? Kik messenger?xxx


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 16 December 2022, 11:13:41 am
Missed call around 7:30ish, picked up the message about 30 minutes later - Auto reply sent

11:30pm - Missed call from same number
11:35pm - Auto reply sent again
1:05am - Wigan Now
 ::)
Swift block
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 16 December 2022, 12:38:58 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 15 December 2022, 09:13:05 pm
Mmmm absolutely love your profile and pictures
Hi bbe how are you? Love to get to know you! You available for chat or meet tonight ? Are you on WhatsApp or Snapchat? Kik messenger?xxx

I got the same message last night! 😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 17 December 2022, 12:12:59 am
 :FF If guys don't want to pay a deposit, WHY do they insist on contacting you in the first place  :FF

Guy found my number on AW but didn't want to pay a deposit because he had been 'done like this before' - IF you have been 'scammed' by a SP before then you need to do better research into the SPs you are choosing, not be an arsehole client where as the SP cancels on you & keeps your deposit or stick to your hand & stop wasting our time  ::)

BETTER CLIENTS IN '23 PLEASE!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SquirtyQueen on 18 December 2022, 07:50:42 am
2 cock BJ, how much?  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 21 December 2022, 04:12:41 pm
Hi I want to meet you I can assure you I'm not a time waster.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 21 December 2022, 04:59:17 pm
Quote from: SquirtyQueen on 18 December 2022, 07:50:42 am
2 cock BJ, how much?  :FF

Phone call - rejected & auto reply sent including my hourly rate & deposit etc

'How much for just a bj'  ::) Same price as the hour pal!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 21 December 2022, 07:37:31 pm
Hi dirty bitch. U wanna have fun ??
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bustybbwsteph on 22 December 2022, 06:56:47 pm
Quote from: Clarabella on 21 December 2022, 07:37:31 pm
Hi dirty bitch. U wanna have fun ??

Who ever said romance was dead!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 22 December 2022, 10:29:03 pm
Yeah. I felt really special
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 23 December 2022, 04:54:32 pm
"Available and prices?"

The fact that all of that info is on my profile is annoying enough but some of these guys seem to forget that we are human beings.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Boudoir on 23 December 2022, 09:44:57 pm
Quote from: SquirtyQueen on 18 December 2022, 07:50:42 am
2 cock BJ, how much?  :FF

Another one doing the rounds, I've had this one today as well  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Escortx on 23 December 2022, 10:27:43 pm
Yes I hate this they are just last I think x
Quote from: fallen angel on 23 December 2022, 04:54:32 pm
"Available and prices?"

The fact that all of that info is on my profile is annoying enough but some of these guys seem to forget that we are human beings.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Boudoir on 27 December 2022, 10:15:44 am
Six texts in 30 seconds:

Hot body...I want you...Lick your boobs and pussy...Barebacking...Lick your prostate and clit



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Kay on 28 December 2022, 01:38:50 am
Call at midnight on Boxing Day - FFS.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 28 December 2022, 11:59:20 pm
Hi I'm looking for a new regular. Are you interested?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 30 December 2022, 02:42:22 pm
Quote from: Boudoir on 27 December 2022, 10:15:44 am
Six texts in 30 seconds:

Hot body...I want you...Lick your boobs and pussy...Barebacking...Lick your prostate and clit

🤣🤣🤣
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 05 January 2023, 02:41:23 pm
Subject:    Really want u x

Really want meet u x


And I really don't.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 05 January 2023, 03:33:32 pm
A couple of examples in the last week or so. Randoms emailing me on AW

"Let's do it"

"Your best client EVER is waiting to meet you"

Errr ok then

I never respond of course.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: linglau on 05 January 2023, 11:28:34 pm
Quote from: PinkR2021 on 14 December 2022, 09:08:36 pm
Well I got a new one today: asking if I had any experience fu*king dogs. In his defence he admitted it was an unusual request (no shit mate!)  :-X

Q. How low could he go?
A. Perhaps a Dachshund 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 06 January 2023, 05:08:45 pm
Recent texts (I'm calls only).

"Free leaving motorway now"
I replied with
"Drive safe"

"Hey where are you"
I replied with
"Currently in costa, why"
No response

"I'm not a timewaster I can come now"
Checks and has 6 x no show Reports

"I'm about to leave wondered if you were free"





Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PinkR2021 on 12 January 2023, 08:30:36 am
“Fancy a puppy? £1200 or a night of pleasure.”
This is certainly a first 😳.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 15 January 2023, 06:54:10 pm
Hi, hope you are well.
I'm Alina, 40 yr old female.
I'm actually from India but currently in UK on visit.

I'm married since 16 years and never been with any man apart from my husband. But you being a woman might understand that we married woman with family do also have desires and sexual fantasies. I don't have a friend with whom I can discuss my sexual desires without they being judgemental, so only thought of this site to seek some help and advice from someone who is open minded and understanding.
I respect your time and work but wondered if you are open minded, understanding, discreet and friendly to possibly help me with my query and share your views and advice, please.
I'll really appreciate your empathy, help and time.
If you willing to help, please let me know. I'll forward you my concern for your views and advice.

Thanks again
Alina
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 15 January 2023, 08:01:08 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 15 January 2023, 06:54:10 pm
Hi, hope you are well.
I'm Alina, 40 yr old female.
I'm actually from India but currently in UK on visit.

I'm married since 16 years and never been with any man apart from my husband. But you being a woman might understand that we married woman with family do also have desires and sexual fantasies. I don't have a friend with whom I can discuss my sexual desires without they being judgemental, so only thought of this site to seek some help and advice from someone who is open minded and understanding.
I respect your time and work but wondered if you are open minded, understanding, discreet and friendly to possibly help me with my query and share your views and advice, please.
I'll really appreciate your empathy, help and time.
If you willing to help, please let me know. I'll forward you my concern for your views and advice.

Thanks again
Alina

Oh you have had that one interesting feedback she seems to have had a camming session, but used an Escort booking request to arrange it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Nora batty on 16 January 2023, 12:14:59 am
Quote from: Hannaah on 15 January 2023, 06:54:10 pm
Hi, hope you are well.
I'm Alina, 40 yr old female.
I'm actually from India but currently in UK on visit.

I'm married since 16 years and never been with any man apart from my husband. But you being a woman might understand that we married woman with family do also have desires and sexual fantasies. I don't have a friend with whom I can discuss my sexual desires without they being judgemental, so only thought of this site to seek some help and advice from someone who is open minded and understanding.
I respect your time and work but wondered if you are open minded, understanding, discreet and friendly to possibly help me with my query and share your views and advice, please.
I'll really appreciate your empathy, help and time.
If you willing to help, please let me know. I'll forward you my concern for your views and advice.

Thanks again
Alina

Had a similar email from Alina.  Was asking for a FFM, also asking TW questions about what I think difference is between a 4 to 7 inch cock etc.

I just blocked as usual  as I dont offer full service, I dont see females and I don't entertain clear fantasists, with ping pong mail.   I did see feedback of 2 but I quickly discounted as 1 was obviously not a escort booking at all. 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Boudoir on 16 January 2023, 08:39:21 am
Quote from: Hannaah on 15 January 2023, 06:54:10 pm
Hi, hope you are well.
I'm Alina, 40 yr old female.
I'm actually from India but currently in UK on visit.

I'm married since 16 years and never been with any man apart from my husband. But you being a woman might understand that we married woman with family do also have desires and sexual fantasies. I don't have a friend with whom I can discuss my sexual desires without they being judgemental, so only thought of this site to seek some help and advice from someone who is open minded and understanding.
I respect your time and work but wondered if you are open minded, understanding, discreet and friendly to possibly help me with my query and share your views and advice, please.
I'll really appreciate your empathy, help and time.
If you willing to help, please let me know. I'll forward you my concern for your views and advice.

Thanks again
Alina

You've got to hand it to Alina, she's certainly very determined to further her knowledge, and still no friends of her own to ask, poor lass. She was asking me the same or similar a couple of years ago  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 16 January 2023, 01:37:00 pm
Texts "I see you prefer phone calls but I thought it easier to text". Was there any information in his text? Of course not.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 19 January 2023, 04:53:35 am
Quote from: Milf-G on 16 January 2023, 01:37:00 pm
Texts "I see you prefer phone calls but I thought it easier to text". Was there any information in his text? Of course not.

Oh yes "I'm only texting because", or "I know you don't like texts but didn't want to disturb you if not convenient". I still receive a beep and have to look text or phone call.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 19 January 2023, 10:53:55 am
Quote from: Milf-G on 16 January 2023, 01:37:00 pm
Texts "I see you prefer phone calls but I thought it easier to text". Was there any information in his text? Of course not.

I think they do it on purpose to see if they can get you breaking your own rule of no texts to see if they can get a ping pong text session going. I think it is a thrill for some.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 19 January 2023, 10:56:12 am
Quote from: Mirror on 19 January 2023, 04:53:35 am
Oh yes "I'm only texting because", or "I know you don't like texts but didn't want to disturb you if not convenient". I still receive a beep and have to look text or phone call.

Yes and then if you say call only they can later come back with when are you free for me to call? It's priceless.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 19 January 2023, 03:15:52 pm
"I'm married, I'm not an axe murderer"
Lots of warnings IYKWIM

The person who robbed me at knife point had partner & small child. Plenty of other problem punters, clients, harassers, TW married, in relationships, identifiable. One notorious years ago worked for a government agency, didn't hide it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Milf-G on 25 January 2023, 06:18:01 pm
Quote from: English Green on 19 January 2023, 10:53:55 am
I think they do it on purpose to see if they can get you breaking your own rule of no texts to see if they can get a ping pong text session going. I think it is a thrill for some.

I replied 'blocked' then he texts OK but why. I really do think it's just to wind us up. On the odd occasion I have texted back 'calls only' they hardly ever do. Same with 'are you available AW emails'. I say call to discuss and they don't.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 03 February 2023, 01:15:44 am
Subject:    Taboo
Taboo ?



The fuck am I meant to do with that. Another for the block list.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 09 February 2023, 12:43:35 pm
Text this morning:

'Hey Amy, hope this finds you well. I've woken up feeling incredibly amorous and desperate to make someone cum. I am in love with your profile and would love to share a few hours of mutual pleasure with you. Might you be free in the near future?'

Vomit. This was also shortly after trying to call me when I don't take bookings by phone (so not actually read my profile then) ::).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 09 February 2023, 05:31:16 pm
Gorgeous, you're the kind of sub I'm made for. Jamaican background. I want to break that ass of yours with these veiny bare hands, leaving you bruised up. Rough rude sex. Give you the proper humiliation when I slap your face with just enough force to keep you alert, then grasp your hair and... Well, let's leave that as a surprise.

But, beautiful, I want to humiliate and hurt you :) like you obviously crave as much as I do. I have my own sub so you won't need to worry about lack of control. A single safe-word is the best approach then we work our way back to your limit's edge. Leaving your mentally imprinted with this Jamaican passion.

I won't send any porn for imagination. I stay away so that my energy is concentrated as the sun's. Do us both the favour of making this booking easy... Your pussy needs to be ruined. Extra points if you have an anal plug, just for the look of it hanging there while I beat you.

Unbelievable. Gobble you up woman. Let the monster in.




 ??? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 11 February 2023, 09:35:38 am
The bottom line is if they actually read the profile and respected us these timewasting emails would not happen.

I had a very long email from a 69 year old single male with erectile dysfunction. At least he was giving me the heads up as many we do not even tell us beforehand. We are expected to fix all their ills. He then writes a very long account of his tribulations during the pandemic his getting covi d his long extensive medical history.

Clearly we are their sex therapist their doctor their nurse and their counsellor with hours to spare listening to long diatribes ..!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 03 March 2023, 06:13:43 am
When they text us saying they are worried they are going to catch something.  Nervous first timers.

I just put them on the block.  Most of us are more assiduous about our sexual health than civvy women and they need to understand this.  Though there is an increasing trend to offer bareback it has never and will never be my thing.

 
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 03 March 2023, 11:46:58 am
This year I've noticed an increase in very basic questions that are already clearly answered on my profile. I literally had one text in January like "Hi, what do you offer?" and a few more asking what services I provide... I can understand clients wanting to clarify services, but I have a very extensive likes list and my profile clearly states that everything on the list with two exceptions is included in the price. I'm not listing my entire likes list in a text as I'd be there for ages! My profile is also very thorough and clearly represents me/what I offer. Had quite a lot of texts asking about prices, along the lines of "Hi, I saw your profile on Adult Work. How much for half an hour?" ... I mean, there's a clue in your text of where to find that information...  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 08 March 2023, 04:03:25 pm
Here's one for the old timers - I've just had (for the first time in years) a text that said 'can I have some details' :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 08 March 2023, 04:09:04 pm
Quote from: amy on 08 March 2023, 04:03:25 pm
Here's one for the old timers - I've just had (for the first time in years) a text that said 'can I have some details' :D

Proper old school lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 08 March 2023, 04:44:59 pm
Quote from: amy on 08 March 2023, 04:03:25 pm
Here's one for the old timers - I've just had (for the first time in years) a text that said 'can I have some details' :D

Oh that I don't have any problem with that, far more direct than enquiries claiming to have read your website or profile then asking for more or less the same or things I clearly do not do/getting location totally wrong. At least with this I can start afresh!

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Blossom_midlands on 08 March 2023, 07:06:12 pm
I had the below text today
'Im the kind of guy you will want to see not have to see. Call me when you want me round'

Honestly, I didn't know what to reply. His client eye reports said different
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: ChampagneLover on 08 March 2023, 07:37:14 pm
Quote from: Blossom_midlands on 08 March 2023, 07:06:12 pm
I had the below text today
'Im the kind of guy you will want to see not have to see. Call me when you want me round'

Honestly, I didn't know what to reply. His client eye reports said different

Looooool. It’s giving deluded.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 21 March 2023, 10:44:06 pm
Hey

Looking for a willing sub, monthly cash payment in exchange for regular meets. Interested?

Alex x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cgiw on 24 March 2023, 12:57:24 pm
I just had a guy, who I've seen once before and know he's an old posho, ask for coffee on arrival.

Coffee on arrival! Maybe for a 2 hour booking. But this is 45 minutes.
Actually, thinking about it, maybe getting him to drink coffee might be a useful time waster. Hmmmm
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: thickthighs on 24 March 2023, 01:13:16 pm
Quote from: Cgiw on 24 March 2023, 12:57:24 pm
I just had a guy, who I've seen once before and know he's an old posho, ask for coffee on arrival.

Coffee on arrival! Maybe for a 2 hour booking. But this is 45 minutes.
Actually, thinking about it, maybe getting him to drink coffee might be a useful time waster. Hmmmm

Cheeky fucker lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 26 March 2023, 09:51:19 pm
Quote from: Cgiw on 24 March 2023, 12:57:24 pm
I just had a guy, who I've seen once before and know he's an old posho, ask for coffee on arrival.

Coffee on arrival! Maybe for a 2 hour booking. But this is 45 minutes.
Actually, thinking about it, maybe getting him to drink coffee might be a useful time waster. Hmmmm

He sounds the type who would take his time drinking his coffee and chatting then expect his 45 mins to start once he'd finished it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 27 March 2023, 06:20:50 am
Quote from: fallen angel on 26 March 2023, 09:51:19 pm
He sounds the type who would take his time drinking his coffee and chatting then expect his 45 mins to start once he'd finished it.

Coffee is something some 2 hour regulars enjoy, I have a pot ready for their arrival (or they make one when outcall) it's part of their experience but I've learned quite recently to not offer it to 1 hour new to me punters. A couple took time then seemed to think remainder of the booking would go just as slowly. In my experience overrunning significantly with new clients is not a good thing, it can for some (but not all) set an expectation or habit.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 27 March 2023, 10:41:45 am
Well overrunning significantly isn't a good idea with any punters in my experience, which isn't the same as never doing it, but be prepared that the half hour will never pay for 45 minutes or an hour if he knows he's likely to get that anyway.

I had similar to the above with a punter who asked for tea; I didn't offer and the only drink I have to hand is water. I made it anyway, and after five minutes or so of looking very comfortable with no sense of urgency whatsoever I asked him if he'd like me to put some cold water in it since it was obviously hot and I was concerned about his time running down  The response was 'Oh, have we started?'  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Bloomer on 27 March 2023, 08:51:58 pm
Yep similar situation as to above. Older guy wanting tea and chit chat .... life story. 35 minutes into an hour booking i pleasantly  reminded him he had less rhan 30 minutes left. He was like ohhhh I thought time started when we moved to the bedroom. Good sport though stayed in time . Didn't book again however  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 28 March 2023, 07:10:31 pm
I haven't had a problem with tea/coffee drinking clients but as I always offer a (non alcohol) drink a few have asked for tea or coffee. My trick is to always have the kettle just boiled before anyone arrives so I can make the cuppa in a couple of minutes and coffee is instant too. Inevitably the drink gets left untouched or a couple of sips at most so I don't know why they bother asking. Never had a man try to stretch his time with me using the tea trick and it would be failure central if they did.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Missizzy on 31 March 2023, 09:27:05 am
The trouble with tea & coffee drinkers is their suddenly tiny bladders, they need like 3 toilet visits for one cuppa.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 31 March 2023, 12:13:00 pm
Quote from: Missizzy on 31 March 2023, 09:27:05 am
The trouble with tea & coffee drinkers is their suddenly tiny bladders, they need like 3 toilet visits for one cuppa.

It's in their time surely?

One punter revealed his many loo trips was a result of his cocaine use, he was toppling up in my  bathroom. Explained his agitation, inability to sit still and erection problems (couldn't stay in one position long enough for me to stimulate him).
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Missizzy on 31 March 2023, 12:38:57 pm
Oh it's definitely out of their time, but it's annoying trying to make a jack in a box cum.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 31 March 2023, 12:52:47 pm
Quote from: Missizzy on 31 March 2023, 12:38:57 pm
Oh it's definitely out of their time, but it's annoying trying to make a jack in a box cum.

Definitely, difficult to get into whatever is being tried!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: One More Rodeo on 13 April 2023, 04:45:12 pm
I'm sorting out old text messages and stuff. Here are some of the depressing openers:

- "Hi"
- "Hello"
- "Hey"
- "Hello??"
- "Can I buy"
- "Hi were you located?"
- "I can meet you"

 :(
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Petlover29 on 17 April 2023, 11:25:29 am
This morning annoying one

CLIENT.  Can I see you for 30 mins today, If you want we can go for coffee first so you feel comfortable with me.

ME. I don’t have time to go for coffee as I’m very busy but I can do 30 mins what time do you like

CLIENT. Can I do 2pm for half he told me it had to be 2pm  (he books 2pm) then 20 mins later says can he do 3pm instead so he can give himself more time. Bare in mind he has booked first thing in the morning for 2pm, so not sure how he needs more time. He then said if I’m busy it’s fine he will book another day.

ME. Sorry busy now have a good day 

To be honest I knew he wasn’t genuine but I wanted see how it played it out. As if we will go coffee doing unpaid time so they can get to know us. I’m sure some think it’s a dating site.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jadine on 02 May 2023, 07:16:45 pm
I know
And has anyone noticed the high level of idiots and timewasters  rising ?
I have had 6 weeks of these nasty scum with reports or fake bookings and muppets ring text when they know I am unavailable in the hours I stated I do not work .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 03 May 2023, 04:08:38 pm
When they ask your availability so you tell them and they ask if you can do any earlier or later. Surely, if I could, I would have included those times in my response.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Jadine on 03 May 2023, 06:49:54 pm
Gets me mad when they do that, and completely ignore your do and don't on the profile , and divs ringing on witheld calls when I say I don't reply  like I am really going give my details to some arsehole with no number  .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 04 May 2023, 10:46:54 pm
Tonight when I'm at the end of my tether with timewasting idiots

"Are you free?"
Me .. No I charge

"Are you available now?"
Me .. Oh are you outside my door?

He hung up on me  ;D

Makes me feel better to give them some back.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cgiw on 13 May 2023, 09:40:25 am
Him: Can I get a service?
Me: On a car?
Him, hesitating: Yes.
Me: Sorry wrong number.
Hangs up.

This is also how not to be an escort tbf, but I'd just said no to an '18 year old virgin' when I say I don't see under 25s and was obviously a bit on guard.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DBLM on 12 June 2023, 10:41:45 am
Quote from: Cgiw on 13 May 2023, 09:40:25 am
I'd just said no to an '18 year old virgin' when I say I don't see under 25s and was obviously a bit on guard.

I've seen a few virgins.
I remember some guys booking me as a treat for their mate - which was really sweet.

But for one thing, I made sure he brought ID, for another thing, I was in my 20s so not much older than him.

At 55 now, I wouldn't see an 18-year-old now, that would be creepy.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 24 June 2023, 03:51:25 pm
Subject: Meeting
-----------------------------------------------------------------
15 minutes �40 and I fuck you xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Caligirl on 02 July 2023, 08:56:13 pm
Lately I’ve been getting weird messages, lots of requests involving piss and shit..! Someone recently asked if they could collect my waste in a bag every day.. another asking if I could piss on the floor so they can lick it up..!! 
They do come across quite submissive but I can’t understand it myself  ???

Does anyone honor these requests or are these men time wasting weirdos?  I only have ws listed on my page, nothing else to do with scat or even dom/sub.
As soon as I see ‘hi mistress’ I think oh here we go…
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 02 July 2023, 09:04:59 pm
Quote from: Caligirl on 02 July 2023, 08:56:13 pm
Lately I’ve been getting weird messages, lots of requests involving piss and shit..! Someone recently asked if they could collect my waste in a bag every day.. another asking if I could piss on the floor so they can lick it up..!! 
They do come across quite submissive but I can’t understand it myself  ???

Does anyone honor these requests or are these men time wasting weirdos?  I only have ws listed on my page, nothing else to do with scat or even dom/sub.
As soon as I see ‘hi mistress’ I think oh here we go…
It gets boring dosnt  it all those stupid requests  ?
I just used to block and move on
They get off on messaging that's all
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: DBLM on 05 July 2023, 11:16:13 pm


In June I had a one word message from someone MaxMax-something something , he was a new profile on AW.

Expensive

Ok
I didn't reply.
And now a few weeks later, i get a message that just says:

Meet for £100

My AW profile says £160 for 90 minutes
or £160 for 2 hours
and the blurb says to allow plenty of time it is one price for a no-rush service.

The strange thing is - he's a new profile with no feedback why does he think I'd want to see him for £60 less than my normal fee?
Funny how some PUNTERs think they are doing us a favour
Instead of looking at themselves and wondering why we would want them as a client.


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 07 July 2023, 07:53:22 pm
----------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Hannah
-----------------------------------------------------------------

My name is andrew I'm 35 years old looking to schedule an outcall meet with a difference. I am looking to try something completely different or to me it feels. I would like to do a 2hr session with you I would book a hotel close to you. For this I'm looking to try a roleplay where you are my office worker and to set the scene. I would like office attire so blouse bra big white knickers I adore big knickers and kneelengh skirt and either tan tights or tan stockings

Your husband has dropped you off as I require some papers urgently you are in a hurry so give me the papers I try to make a pass at you several times but your not interested as your happily married. I give you an ultimatum if I can guess two questions correctly you have to stay with me. You secretly want to have sex but don't want to cheat on partner. I would also like to incorporate something called splosh not sure if you know of it. Basically is food play. So thinks I would like to incorporate for instance would be if your wrong on the questions you may accidentally sit in my cheesecake and you can't show your outfit to husband like that.

I would help you clean it but one thing leads to another lol and I adore snogging and sex cowgirl is my fav with knickers still on pulled aside. As you can tell I adore big knickers big fantasy of mine would love to see them damp and love to see a lady orgasm.

Maybe after you have cheated on husband you will be punished by answering some questions correctly if you lose you could end up with custard poured in the back of your knickers or I was gonna get an accessible room so I have a big bathroom that way I was gonna get a massive paddling pool full of custard could see some fun in that and throughout you will be doing everything possible to not get messy what do you think how much would you charge? Also please confirm date? And whether you require additional funds to buy outfit as I'd hate to ruin your best I can also pay deposit to confirm this is ligit





So legit that he didn't read a single thing or he tried to fit as many of the things I don't offer into the message.  ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 11 July 2023, 11:33:45 am
Subject: Hi sexy

Message: You smoke the cx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 25 July 2023, 05:41:55 am
Hey

I really like your profile, and was wondering if you would consider something a little different?

I dont want full sex or a bj or anything, but i would like a very regular, easy, short booking?

Id like just 10 mins, to perhaps smell your feet as i wank myself, finished with cum on you somewhere?

Or perhaps i just look at you in a thong with your breasts out? Again, finished with cum on you?

If you are not into any of the above, consider selling a worn thong & socks?

I appreciate 10 mins isnt long, but its all i need. But id like at least once per week? Build a regular / easy thing for us both. I only want to meet 1 lady, and i'd like it to be you

Let me know your thoughts please

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: curvywench on 26 July 2023, 01:41:51 pm
God almighty, the idiots are out in force today.
Give me the patience not to murder one please. I don't like the idea of prision  ;D ;D

3 blocked so far this morning, please there has to be just a normal nice man out there somewhere ffs
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 26 July 2023, 02:30:12 pm
Quote from: curvywench on 26 July 2023, 01:41:51 pm
God almighty, the idiots are out in force today.
Give me the patience not to murder one please. I don't like the idea of prision  ;D ;D

3 blocked so far this morning, please there has to be just a normal nice man out there somewhere ffs

Even I will admit the quality of the text messages at the moment is dreadful.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Gypsy on 26 July 2023, 06:23:18 pm
Quote from: Mirror on 26 July 2023, 02:30:12 pm
Even I will admit the quality of the text messages at the moment is dreadful.

Same. I swear it's the full moon but it's not  :FF >:D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 27 July 2023, 08:19:26 pm
I've had so many recently I would hijack the thread so I'll spare you..

This one popped up today after contacting me out of hours yesterday. was all fine then..

Him: Sunday is clear for me, I'd like to be your 1st if possible.
Me: Why? (I probably know why but I wanted to hear him say it!)
Him: It's not any reason, I would like it that's all, hope that's not out of turn, isn't meant to be
Me: It's an odd thing to say if you've actually got no reasoning behind it
Him: So I'm your 1st of the day as well, if its a problem I apologise
Me: It's not a problem acually requesting it but it makes no sense without reasoning behind it. Everyone gets the same quality of service regardless.

He still refused to give it up and I got bored and blocked him! Talk about squirrely
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: FoxxyClara on 19 August 2023, 08:12:17 pm
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 27 July 2023, 08:19:26 pm
I've had so many recently I would hijack the thread so I'll spare you..

This one popped up today after contacting me out of hours yesterday. was all fine then..

Him: Sunday is clear for me, I'd like to be your 1st if possible.
Me: Why? (I probably know why but I wanted to hear him say it!)
Him: It's not any reason, I would like it that's all, hope that's not out of turn, isn't meant to be
Me: It's an odd thing to say if you've actually got no reasoning behind it
Him: So I'm your 1st of the day as well, if its a problem I apologise
Me: It's not a problem acually requesting it but it makes no sense without reasoning behind it. Everyone gets the same quality of service regardless.

He still refused to give it up and I got bored and blocked him! Talk about squirrely

Lol on blocking him    ;D

What is the reason though …?  ???

Do they believe we become virgins again overnight. Or is it a fear of cleanliness between bookings … or a weird kink to get in their before other men… or do they just generally not like the idea of other men being before them (on that specific day… but literally hours later on the following day is fine … if it’s first thing again ofc.)  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: bedroomeyes on 20 August 2023, 04:01:59 pm
Hi you available tonight for a incall I live locally in xxxxx area and im no longer with my girlfriend no more who I used to do onlyfans with and I'm a bit bored as I've not had no action for few weeks, I'm 27 years old white British and proper person and fancy meeting up with a bit more of a professional girl who dose things properly
If available tonight.

Many Thanks. xxx
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Slavetolove on 23 August 2023, 11:04:10 pm
When they WhatsApp you a photo thinking you’re going to be gushing for them..


Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 24 August 2023, 08:48:52 am
Quote from: Slavetolove on 23 August 2023, 11:04:10 pm
When they WhatsApp you a photo thinking you’re going to be gushing for them..

Last week someone offered to send a photo to convince me to see him when I wasn't available. If I'm not available I'm not available.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 24 August 2023, 08:54:28 am
Quote from: Slavetolove on 23 August 2023, 11:04:10 pm
When they WhatsApp you a photo thinking you’re going to be gushing for them..

Yeah. I no longer use email for work, stopped my work phone accepting photos years ago and I don't use Whats App, but I still remember a brief but stupid argument with a bloke who emailed me a photo.supposedly of himself and then got narky when I refused to have any opinion on it ;D.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 24 August 2023, 09:27:01 am
I get the occasional message telling me they are 6ft 3 and work out daily, or similar. This is supposed to have me drooling and gagging to meet them?

Nah. It has me blocking them 😀
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 24 August 2023, 09:35:38 am
And those who send a load of cobblers like this never include anything at all indicating when they want to book and for how long, ie the only thing I need to know ::)

The one which really puts me off is when they say they're 'white and English'. Anybody who thinks either of these gives them some leverage over punters who aren't (and they clearly do, or why would they mention it?) is not a person I want anywhere near me or my flat.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 25 August 2023, 06:10:53 am
When they write a one line email giving their mobile number expecting us to call them.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 30 August 2023, 11:44:26 am
They email about their tiny cocks
They think I want to know about that disappointment ?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Boudoir on 02 September 2023, 01:59:36 pm
Just received, possibly the cheesiest, cringiest, most obscure request I've ever had, accompanied by a blacked out image of a head and shoulders, all sent twice and the text littered with 'mystery' .....'s :

'Hello to the deliciousness that is (my name) where does this soldier send his cv so the sexy boss can shift through the chaff and potentially be invited for an interview to sell my skill-set xx'
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 02 September 2023, 05:09:25 pm
🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 02 September 2023, 05:11:11 pm
I had one earlier in the week who seemed perfectly sane until he suddenly asked about 'eating my ass'  ???

I told him I don't have an ass but I do have a goldfish :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 04 September 2023, 10:17:29 am
"Is there any chance we could arrange a price for regular meets?" sure, just look at my rates for the duration you want and that's your price arranged. 😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Dynamite Doll on 04 September 2023, 05:32:59 pm
Quote from: SheffSW on 04 September 2023, 10:17:29 am
"Is there any chance we could arrange a price for regular meets?" sure, just look at my rates for the duration you want and that's your price arranged. 😂

Funny I will use this or I quote them higher then the fools reply back with my rates.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 05 September 2023, 01:49:33 pm
Quote from: Dynamite Doll on 04 September 2023, 05:32:59 pm
Funny I will use this or I quote them higher then the fools reply back with my rates.

Brilliant! 😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: GucciGang on 06 September 2023, 12:32:33 pm
The one I’ve been getting lately is “what are your rates?” Like come on mate if you haven’t even read the price you sure as hell don’t know the services and anything about me. So I just send them the profile link it’s so annoying.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 06 September 2023, 01:55:26 pm
Quote from: GucciGang on 06 September 2023, 12:32:33 pm
The one I’ve been getting lately is “what are your rates?” Like come on mate if you haven’t even read the price you sure as hell don’t know the services and anything about me. So I just send them the profile link it’s so annoying.

I once got a text that literally just asked what I offer...  ???
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Michellebelle on 09 September 2023, 09:43:08 am
Received this copy and paste today, not sure where my nearest swamp is !

Have to say it’s quite an original one. Conjures up images of old movies where they get stuck in quick sand 😂


Hi I have seen your profile on aw. Hi I am wondering if you can help my fulfill my most extreme dream. It's basically me jumping in a deep swamp I know of near you and me sinking and getting stuck neck deep in it. Then you say you won't get me out unless I tell you how you can  transfer  all my savings to you off my phone. You transfer 20 grand to your account and then laugh thanking me for it saying you cannot have me getting out now and reversing the transaction, you want the money so you put your foot on my head and shove me under x then throw my phone in with me and drive or walk off x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 23 September 2023, 07:16:40 am
Received a succinct email saying 'Two hours'.

I ignored it. Had he given his name and age time and day I would have replied.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 23 September 2023, 07:33:19 am
Quote from: Michellebelle on 09 September 2023, 09:43:08 am
Received this copy and paste today, not sure where my nearest swamp is !

Have to say it’s quite an original one. Conjures up images of old movies where they get stuck in quick sand 😂


Hi I have seen your profile on aw. Hi I am wondering if you can help my fulfill my most extreme dream. It's basically me jumping in a deep swamp I know of near you and me sinking and getting stuck neck deep in it. Then you say you won't get me out unless I tell you how you can  transfer  all my savings to you off my phone. You transfer 20 grand to your account and then laugh thanking me for it saying you cannot have me getting out now and reversing the transaction, you want the money so you put your foot on my head and shove me under x then throw my phone in with me and drive or walk off x

This is similar to the slurry pit email I used to receive.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Hannaah on 26 September 2023, 03:13:03 pm
Subject: Slave
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Slave,
I need a slut to please me head to toe, and eat and drink whatever I give her - spit, cum, piss.
Master also needs grooming, so washing, massaging, also needs to make sure hands and feet are in top condition. Your job is to do that - cutting my nails, removing hard skin off my feet too. If you're lucky, Master may also feed it all to you as part of your lunch or dinner.
Let me know. Available evenings or weekends with a 60 min booking to begin with.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 26 September 2023, 03:38:10 pm
Quote from: Hannaah on 26 September 2023, 03:13:03 pm
Subject: Slave
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Slave,
I need a slut to please me head to toe, and eat and drink whatever I give her - spit, cum, piss.
Master also needs grooming, so washing, massaging, also needs to make sure hands and feet are in top condition. Your job is to do that - cutting my nails, removing hard skin off my feet too. If you're lucky, Master may also feed it all to you as part of your lunch or dinner.
Let me know. Available evenings or weekends with a 60 min booking to begin with.

So many  freaks out there messaging rubbish like this especially if you don't advertise you offer anywhere near this type of thing. ( no offense to the women that might like eating toe nails and dirty skin)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: glafkes on 27 September 2023, 11:17:24 pm
A guy messaged me today saying he was after "some dirty sex" so I reply asking exactly what he means by dirty sex and replies "you know, just some good knky sex"  ??? no my dude I do not know. Still waiting for him to spell out what he wants but 99% sure it's something I don't offer. Either than or he just talks like a fourteen year old.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 28 September 2023, 04:32:12 am
Quote from: glafkes on 27 September 2023, 11:17:24 pm
A guy messaged me today saying he was after "some dirty sex" so I reply asking exactly what he means by dirty sex and replies "you know, just some good knky sex"  ??? no my dude I do not know. Still waiting for him to spell out what he wants but 99% sure it's something I don't offer. Either than or he just talks like a fourteen year old.

Some do this, I've been asked to talk 'kinky' during a paid phone chat - he wanted to talk about a blow job.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sue69 on 28 September 2023, 08:13:57 am
When I had my email and phone no on AW I got a lot of time wasters.

Now I reply.

"I am very busy, please submit a booking request if you want to meet"

I think 90% of those end up as a meet, those that don't 50% me 50% them

It saves me a lot of time
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissWolf on 28 September 2023, 05:11:54 pm
Quote from: glafkes on 27 September 2023, 11:17:24 pm
A guy messaged me today saying he was after "some dirty sex" so I reply asking exactly what he means by dirty sex and replies "you know, just some good knky sex"  ??? no my dude I do not know. Still waiting for him to spell out what he wants but 99% sure it's something I don't offer. Either than or he just talks like a fourteen year old.

I get these from time to time, I politely tell them that what they find kinky and what I find kinky may be vastly different so you need to explain what your idea of dirty kinky sex is
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 28 September 2023, 06:20:25 pm
Quote from: MissWolf on 28 September 2023, 05:11:54 pm
I get these from time to time, I politely tell them that what they find kinky and what I find kinky may be vastly different so you need to explain what your idea of dirty kinky sex is

Ha. There's a post on here somewhere from many years ago where a nervous punter had enquired about wanting to do some kinky positions and trying the 'karma sutra' and so on. When our poster finally got him to spit out what he meant, it was doggy  :D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 29 September 2023, 07:31:00 am
Quote from: amy on 28 September 2023, 06:20:25 pm
Ha. There's a post on here somewhere from many years ago where a nervous punter had enquired about wanting to do some kinky positions and trying the 'karma sutra' and so on. When our poster finally got him to spit out what he meant, it was doggy  :D

I've had various clients asking for kinky meets, which is something I explicitly advertise so am more than happy to accommodate but, when I actually meet them, I'm waiting for anything actually kinky to happen. Sometimes I bring some of my kink toys in case they might want to use them, and they get nervous/uncomfortable about them. I remember one client like this requesting doggy, so I think this was the "kink" element in his viewpoint? 😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 29 September 2023, 11:04:25 am
Had somebody message me asking how much for an hour where he does whatever he likes with me.

I think not!!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 29 September 2023, 04:41:52 pm
Quote from: Lushblossom on 29 September 2023, 11:04:25 am
Had somebody message me asking how much for an hour where he does whatever he likes with me.

I think not!!

Serial killer in the making !!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 30 September 2023, 08:14:09 am
Quote from: English Green on 29 September 2023, 04:41:52 pm
Serial killer in the making !!

Must have been!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SheffSW on 30 September 2023, 08:59:17 am
Quote from: Lushblossom on 29 September 2023, 11:04:25 am
Had somebody message me asking how much for an hour where he does whatever he likes with me.

I think not!!

Ugh, once I had someone message asking for kink play without safe words...  ??? ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: glafkes on 30 September 2023, 05:08:24 pm
So this has happeend to me twice now in as many weeks. I tell someone I'm not available, they respond with "Please! I'll only take 5 minutes!"

The one today even had the cheek to say "maybe you could fit me in before 10am" which is when my availability starts from.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissBetty on 30 September 2023, 07:27:15 pm
Quote from: glafkes on 30 September 2023, 05:08:24 pm
So this has happeend to me twice now in as many weeks. I tell someone I'm not available, they respond with "Please! I'll only take 5 minutes!"

The one today even had the cheek to say "maybe you could fit me in before 10am" which is when my availability starts from.

I get this slot wanting when I not working or outside of my hours.  So I tell them all yes and quote an extra for working outside advertised hours £50 over my advertised rate with an immediate deposit of £50.  They all go quiet or book my working hours. 

But I need to be more strict with myself  and stop looking at my work phone when I not working.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 30 September 2023, 07:43:46 pm
Quote from: MissBetty on 30 September 2023, 07:27:15 pm
I get this slot wanting when I not working or outside of my hours.  So I tell them all yes and quote an extra for working outside advertised hours £50 over my advertised rate with an immediate deposit of £50.  They all go quiet or book my working hours. 

But I need to be more strict with myself  and stop looking at my work phone when I not working.

I get asked numerous times to see someone 'after your last' or to 'fit me in' some won't take no for an answer, I have even explained "I am tired, need to go to bed, do not work 24/7, want to have a personal life'. Some have tried to tell me how to fit them in. Pure bullying. I find a 'not available' without any explanation the best.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: glafkes on 01 October 2023, 11:28:10 am
Quote from: Mirror on 30 September 2023, 07:43:46 pm
I get asked numerous times to see someone 'after your last' or to 'fit me in' some won't take no for an answer, I have even explained "I am tired, need to go to bed, do not work 24/7, want to have a personal life'. Some have tried to tell me how to fit them in. Pure bullying. I find a 'not available' without any explanation the best.

Right? So many of them seem to think we spend our waking hours seeing clients non-stop. They don't appreciate that even when it's physically possible to see them we might be too tired or just choosing to do something else.

And the ironic thing is if this guy had accepted when I told him I'm not free I would have gladly seen him on another day. But now he's outed himself as a boundary pusher and blown any chance he had.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Welshminxxx on 03 October 2023, 05:05:00 pm
Quote from: Lushblossom on 29 September 2023, 11:04:25 am
Had somebody message me asking how much for an hour where he does whatever he likes with me.

I think not!!

I had similar years ago. I assume he would just direct me with what he wanted, so I agreed.  It stared all ok until he said "bark like a dog"  . I assumed he had just watched Coming to American. I politely told him NO and explain that humiliation and not a service I offer
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: pearlnexen on 18 December 2023, 01:01:43 pm
What really annoys me is making a booking and not showing up, or sending messages in the middle of the night when in my profile I specify that I only work during the day!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Karena on 18 December 2023, 02:47:58 pm
I don't go to trucks or cars but I had someone call me the other day wanting an outcall to his truck. He said it's nice and quiet with no one around!! Two ways of looking at that, and no thanks.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 18 December 2023, 03:10:54 pm
Quote from: Karena on 18 December 2023, 02:47:58 pm
I don't go to trucks or cars but I had someone call me the other day wanting an outcall to his truck. He said it's nice and quiet with no one around!! Two ways of looking at that, and no thanks.

I receive the same, not my style at all.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 21 December 2023, 08:09:03 am
I received an email asking for water sports from the neck up!!

I do not even do water sports!! So insulting.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Snow Whitest on 02 January 2024, 08:15:02 pm
So many and so little time, but this one really had me thinking, is he talking to me?

At 10pm Friday I get a Hey message from someone I've previously spoken to but not seen (my work phone gets switched off at 7pm as he well knows as I've mentioned it before)

Me: Why are you messaging me at gone 10pm. My working hours are on my profile
Him: Sorry, I am sure was a mistake
Him: I love you too

Saturday at 9pm
Him: So?
Him: You not?
Him: Sorry for too late message, I think was a mistake
Him: More than that I have some problem with the phone Doesn't work properly

Sunday
Me: Please only text me if you want a booking
Him at 7.30pm: I promose to booking you of you are happy
Him: But just let me know
Then at gone 8.30pm
Him: If you are able now
Him: Just inform me
Him: Please
Me: My phone is off when I'm not working. My working hours are, again, 10am to 7pm
Him at 8.45pm: Ok
Him: Up to you theb
Him: Happy new year by th way

Yesterday at 10.21pm
Him: So?

Me today, annoyed: Stop contacting me unless you want a booking! Contact me again out of hours and you'll be blocked

I mean how many times does one person need to be told?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: English Green on 03 January 2024, 11:46:26 am
Quote from: Lushblossom on 21 December 2023, 08:09:03 am
I received an email asking for water sports from the neck up!!

You mean he wants to piss on your face?

I do not even do water sports!! So insulting.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 18 February 2024, 04:28:14 pm
Text . Are you up till late tonight?
 followed by a ?
Not sure what idiotic thinking these clowns have !
They also take a little while to realise they have been blocked
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sue69 on 19 February 2024, 08:50:20 am
This thread has been really useful, I wish I had found Saafe and this thread when I started escorting, in those days I spent a lot of time answering AW messages and texts.

Now it’s simple, one response and I either give my phone no or ask for a booking request.

I was reminded how awful it used to be at the weekend when I sold my old car, friends said use Facebook, it’s free.  I did sell it to a delightful lady, but the abuse, stupid questions and general nastiness was eye watering.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lara123 on 20 February 2024, 03:20:46 pm
Him- beeb messaging me all week 'Can I book before 9am?'

Me- 'Yes sure, I'll just need a small deposit because its so early' (there's no way I'm putting my make/ lingerie on at 7am for him to no show)

Him- no answer

Why?!?!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Lushblossom on 03 March 2024, 09:05:27 am
When they send a totally unintelligible text 'How is Escort Rankings?'. What does that even mean! Are they hoping to advertise on there as a male escort!!?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 07 March 2024, 03:32:39 pm
Him: do you do overnights?
Me: yes.
Him: great. I’m a sub and I have a fantasy.
Me: go on (braces myself)
Him: I want to dress up in full latex and have you use me all night long.

 >:( deluded.  You couldn’t triple my fee and tempt me into this backbreaking, soul destroying nightmare.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 07 March 2024, 10:52:48 pm
Quote from: Clarabella on 07 March 2024, 03:32:39 pm
Him: do you do overnights?
Me: yes.
Him: great. I’m a sub and I have a fantasy.
Me: go on (braces myself)
Him: I want to dress up in full latex and have you use me all night long.

 >:( deluded.  You couldn’t triple my fee and tempt me into this backbreaking, soul destroying nightmare.

Ha ha as soon as they say "use me" you know that is going to be damn hard work but these pathetic individuals seem to think, or hope! that it's what we are gagging for.
Like you, they couldn't pay me enough.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 08 March 2024, 09:35:26 am
Quote from: fallen angel on 07 March 2024, 10:52:48 pm
Ha ha as soon as they say "use me" you know that is going to be damn hard work but these pathetic individuals seem to think, or hope! that it's what we are gagging for.
Like you, they couldn't pay me enough.

Exactly! Absolutely on another planet. I mean, I’m a good actress but I ain’t that good!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: PassionFlower on 08 March 2024, 10:41:57 am
Received a 350 word essay from a toilet slave today, the most heinous of those words were
Quote
"I simply adore being fed large volumes of very pungent lady-diarrhea"

There has never been, nor will there ever be, a reason to send that particular combination of words to someone who has not expressly consented to hearing scatalogical fantasies  :-X
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 08 March 2024, 12:14:16 pm
Quote from: PassionFlower on 08 March 2024, 10:41:57 am
There has never been, nor will there ever be, a reason to send that particular combination of words to someone who has not expressly consented to hearing scatalogical fantasies  :-X

Indeed, especially when you can't even spell 'diarrhoea' and copypasted your message from some US scat site

It's nowhere near as grim, but I've binned texts left, right and centre this week because nobody can get a three letter word that's in large letters on all my ads right. I've had 'babe', 'hun', 'darling', 'beautiful' and those that don't bother at all - is 'A-M-Y' such a difficult sequence of letters?

See also 'Hey' instead of Hi or Hello. Fuck off.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SquirtyQueen on 11 March 2024, 07:57:47 pm
Some gems today;
"Can we arrange a messy sploshing session this week?"  :FF
"Do you have meaty labia that I can suck?"  :FF
"Can I ask if your feet are ticklish?"  :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 09 April 2024, 05:55:16 pm
Sugar Daddy alert!

Text today.

Him: Hey are you looking for or wanting a sugardaddy? You will have all your general costs, bills and debts covered aswell as luxury holidays and generous amounts of shopping funds. This is just for online companionship! The finances are well into the thousands and this can be long term or short term. If you are interested please let me know and we can discuss further.

Me: definitely. Tell me more etc.

Him:

I’ll explain how it works.

Chances like this are few and far between but this is a massive opportunity and one that should be considered. Right now finances are tough for most people due to inflation and prices and costs rising which then makes it difficult to have the right financial balance. Not only that but jobs are not paying  enough for what people deserve. Something like this gives you financial freedom to not have to think about rising costs or inflation because financially you will be in the best position. I will tell you briefly about myself and why i want this aswell. I live and work in dubai and i do stock trading and property management. I was never blessed with wealth but i worked hard for what i have and i got rewarded. My success came very quick and therefore i saw the real and fake people within my circle and unfortunately there was more fake than real which then lead me to feeling lonely so something like this fills that void for me. Im not here to waste your time or mine and i want quick progression with this as im sure you do aswell. Something like this will make sure you have all bills, debts paid aswell as holidays and general shopping aswell and also have someone who will care for you and look out for you in every way possible. All this just for sexting, pics, videos and personal attention and the finances are huge and requires minimum effort for you.  There is also so much flexibility with this as you can do this short term or long term. Im not here to mess you around and im sure aslong as were on the same page that this can be a success. I will try my best to make you happy emotionally and financially . This is a golden opportunity and i describe it as almost winning the lottery because the impact something like this can have is massive in a positive way. Ive been rich and ive been poor and i can 100% say money does buy happiness. I will make sure your every financial need is covered whether thats food, clothes, bills etc it will all be covered and more. Money will not be a struggle and will now be an asset to you. If you are wanting this oppportunity then please come on telegram messenger and send me your username and well continue on there
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Serendipitydo on 12 April 2024, 07:46:54 pm
Too right, timewasters, they just want a chat in my experience
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 17 April 2024, 08:37:51 am
Text message this week
Hi babe I've seen you before  ::) can you do your 30 min rate to 60
To which I replied no but there are plenty of other ladies you can contact who may charge that rate instead
To which he replied
So you won't do it for 60  :FF
Blocked
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 18 April 2024, 06:54:03 am
Hi what fantastic photos. Would love to see you as regularly. So please send me postcode or number though I’m sure it’ll appear when you’re working. Hope you like this poetic gesture.

AS WE WAKE (in my dream)

I Turn and feel joy as never before in
You are with me. With your perfect body

And your beautiful face I am found.
I spend the day loving you. You rise

And walk with me in you. As you bend
To dress I am in you and I explode

And explore you sweet south. But then
I draw you back and start once more

On you. I want to look up at your face
While I lick your Tits, suck and bite them

I want you to look up at me as bestride you
I rest my cock on your mouth.

Your eyes widen. You laugh softly and suck.
You are covered with the ink of the penis.

In the pale morning light it’s like cloud.
I would do whatever you wanted to please

And bring you pleasure. You are the
Treasure I am desperate to find.

Have no doubt.

I have no doubt he's not going to be a regular  !:D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 18 April 2024, 11:12:46 am
FF

How could you possibly resist?

😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 18 April 2024, 11:26:11 am
Jesus fucking wept 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤣
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 18 April 2024, 11:36:25 am
Quote from: Justine on 18 April 2024, 11:12:46 am
FF

How could you possibly resist?

😂
Can I send him your way !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 18 April 2024, 11:51:32 am
Quote from: Femme fatale on 18 April 2024, 11:36:25 am
Can I send him your way !

Oh yes but I need to get the lady razor to work on my "sweet south" before you send him. 😛
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 18 April 2024, 09:42:53 pm
Quote from: Fifi on 12 April 2024, 06:07:35 pm
Asking about a booking and they said they'll call you back to confirm

Don't ask me if I'm available if you aren't sure that you are!!
The only thing they are sure about is getting off whilst wasting your time !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 18 April 2024, 09:46:07 pm
Quote from: Justine on 18 April 2024, 11:51:32 am
Oh yes but I need to get the lady razor to work on my "sweet south" before you send him. 😛
Careful your not covered with the ink of the penis 😂
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CuteElsa on 18 April 2024, 10:41:52 pm
Quote from: Femme fatale on 18 April 2024, 06:54:03 am
To dress I am in you and I explode

And explore you sweet south.

When he explodes I hope he expects to be covered before he explores south.

Can you imagine cum being like ink ? It would cost a fortune to clean up and I’m not too sure what my dentist would say 😹
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 18 April 2024, 10:46:03 pm
Something is going on with him and the letter T. He's pointlessly capitalised the words 'turn', 'tits' and 'treasure' for no reason at all 🤔
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: MissWolf on 19 April 2024, 07:27:14 am
Quote from: amy on 18 April 2024, 10:46:03 pm
Something is going on with him and the letter T. He's pointlessly capitalised the words 'turn', 'tits' and 'treasure' for no reason at all 🤔

Is that because he's a Twat 🤔
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Mirror on 19 April 2024, 08:47:28 am
"Pencil me in"

Thankfully clients suggesting this soon realise I only accept definite bookings.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 19 April 2024, 10:00:15 am
Quote from: Mirror on 19 April 2024, 08:47:28 am
"Pencil me in"

Thankfully clients suggesting this soon realise I only accept definite bookings.

I get the "pencil me in" from one particular man and while I've had many bookings with him  he's also cancelled many of the pencilled ones.

I know where I'd love to stick that pencil.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CuteElsa on 19 April 2024, 03:12:22 pm
Quote from: amy on 18 April 2024, 10:46:03 pm
Something is going on with him and the letter T. He's pointlessly capitalised the words 'turn', 'tits' and 'treasure' for no reason at all 🤔

Glad he didn’t use the word ThrusT Then 😹
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Karena on 20 April 2024, 03:35:36 pm
I'm losing my temper lately with the silly "hi" texts. The last one I just replied "fuck off".

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: fallen angel on 20 April 2024, 10:12:11 pm
Quote from: Justine on 19 April 2024, 10:00:15 am
I get the "pencil me in" from one particular man

I know where I'd love to stick that pencil.
OMG I have one guy that I am imagining with relish that exact scenario  ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Karena on 21 April 2024, 03:03:23 pm
Quote from: Femme fatale on 21 April 2024, 02:17:28 pm
I'm deleting them after checking the numbers

FF it's jsut constant isn't it and I find it so draining. All the hiyas, hello babes and oh I wish you had a face photo etc texts. And when you clearly state on your profile that you're available today and they text, "are you available today"? just drives me crazy. Fucking the guys is the easy part and I meet some great men - it's the thicko idiots that wind me up. I used to just brush it off but I'm losing it lately and they deserve it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Justine on 24 April 2024, 09:51:40 am
I've possibly said this before but callers who ask for a half hour booking at 15 mins notice. When I say sorry no it's too short notice they insist "but it's only for half an hour"

I have to be 100% presentable plus my client room exactly how it should be whether for a long or short booking!  I do make sure the room is at least half decent but 15 mins notice is no good for me.

When they say "no need to dress up" it niggles me. I have to be in my Justine attire and everything beneath it pristine, then the hair and make up, if they want me to do a good  job!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Princesslucy on 24 April 2024, 11:03:17 am
When they get in touch and then go totally ghost - why ? Why do that . Happened this morning lovely text asked for a call to confirm as I always like to talk on the phone first and then nothing . Really winds me up x
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Karena on 24 April 2024, 12:24:20 pm
Quote from: Princesslucy on 24 April 2024, 11:03:17 am
When they get in touch and then go totally ghost - why ? Why do that . Happened this morning lovely text asked for a call to confirm as I always like to talk on the phone first and then nothing . Really winds me up x

OMG yes. And in response the other day to my text sayinfg, yes but please call me as I like to hear your voice before I book, he replied: What? We need to talk on the phone?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 24 April 2024, 12:31:45 pm
If a punter can't talk they're likely at work or around other people, so they'll move on to somebody who doesn't work by phone calls and avoid wasting any more of your or their time. I agree they ought to text back and say so, though.

I have the opposite problem; punters ignoring my ads and trying to phone me when I only take bookings by text. If they all just read the bloody ads none of this would happen.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sammy13 on 26 April 2024, 01:56:37 pm
I’ve had 4 texts today from people I haven’t met before and this is what they each said:

Text 1: “Hello Hun. Are You free?”
Text 2: “Hi darling”
Text 3: “how are you today?”
Text 4: “you available now?”

What the fuck is wrong with these people?! I state in bold letters on my profile that if someone texts me they need to include when they want to see me and how long for and I don’t respond to messages otherwise. Starting to think only about 5% of guys actually read my profile
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Serendipitydo on 26 April 2024, 07:26:55 pm
It  just bugs me when I set out really clearly in my profile, how to book, what I will and won't do and then I get timewaster pests asking the obvious.

A worse one for me though is ones I've seen before now believing that we are "close."
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Serendipitydo on 26 April 2024, 07:28:47 pm
Quote from: Sammy13 on 26 April 2024, 01:56:37 pm
I’ve had 4 texts today from people I haven’t met before and this is what they each said:

Text 1: “Hello Hun. Are You free?”
Text 2: “Hi darling”
Text 3: “how are you today?”
Text 4: “you available now?”

What the fuck is wrong with these people?! I state in bold letters on my profile that if someone texts me they need to include when they want to see me and how long for and I don’t respond to messages otherwise. Starting to think only about 5% of guys actually read my profile


p.s. Available now Hun?? Can be there in 5 lol lol
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Fifi on 26 April 2024, 07:41:35 pm
Quote from: Serendipitydo on 26 April 2024, 07:28:47 pm

p.s. Available now Hun?? Can be there in 5 lol lol

Don't dismiss them all. I've given some of those a chance and they've turned out OK
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 26 April 2024, 08:14:02 pm
Quote from: Serendipitydo on 26 April 2024, 07:28:47 pm
Available now Hun?? Can be there in 5 lol lol

I got one a few weeks ago that just said 'Avail'. So it wasn't even a one word text, it was a half word text  ::)

Maybe I should have just sent 'N'.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 26 April 2024, 09:26:12 pm
Quote from: amy on 26 April 2024, 08:14:02 pm
I got one a few weeks ago that just said 'Avail'. So it wasn't even a one word text, it was a half word text  ::)

Maybe I should have just sent 'N'.
I should do this a few times !
Hi is their usual communication skill
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 26 April 2024, 09:29:37 pm
Quote from: Serendipitydo on 26 April 2024, 07:26:55 pm
It  just bugs me when I set out really clearly in my profile, how to book, what I will and won't do and then I get timewaster pests asking the obvious.

A worse one for me though is ones I've seen before now believing that we are "close."
I can get sarcastic with their stupid question.. I reply oh we're  you not  able to read that part of my profile info ?
I'm sure I added that
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Serendipitydo on 26 April 2024, 09:49:02 pm
Quote from: amy on 26 April 2024, 08:14:02 pm
I got one a few weeks ago that just said 'Avail'. So it wasn't even a one word text, it was a half word text  ::)

Maybe I should have just sent 'N'.

 :D While that is very funny of you to say, I do find these ones quite disrespectful and pretty "timewaster'y"

Should I be having to spend my time working out what planet he is from, whom or what he wishes to pleasure himself with and if he has a groat in the sleeve of his cloak?
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Cgiw on 26 April 2024, 10:08:42 pm
Quote from: Femme fatale on 26 April 2024, 09:29:37 pm
I can get sarcastic with their stupid question.. I reply oh we're  you not  able to read that part of my profile info ?
I'm sure I added that

I get gleeful every time I can reply to an email with the words
See my Faqs
Just that. It's such a passive aggressive fuck you, I love it.
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Serendipitydo on 26 April 2024, 10:37:34 pm
I've just realised that this one belongs here.

Last month I received a message from a guy who reckons that he has lots of miniature bottles of sparkling white wine.

His email informed me that the retail price could be as much as £80, so would I like to give him a half hour booking.

My minimum is an hour!!! :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Serendipitydo on 26 April 2024, 10:39:32 pm
Quote from: Serendipitydo on 26 April 2024, 10:37:34 pm
I've just realised that this one belongs here.

Last month I received a message from a guy who reckons that he has lots of miniature bottles of sparkling white wine.

His email informed me that the retail price could be as much as £80, so would I like to give him a half hour booking.

My minimum is an hour!!! :FF

...that said, if he had wanted to fix my boiler, I'd have given it some thought! >:D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 28 April 2024, 05:00:57 am
Quote from: Serendipitydo on 26 April 2024, 10:37:34 pm
I've just realised that this one belongs here.

Last month I received a message from a guy who reckons that he has lots of miniature bottles of sparkling white wine.

His email informed me that the retail price could be as much as £80, so would I like to give him a half hour booking.

My minimum is an hour!!! :FF
Where do these clowns come from with their stupid ideas !
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 28 April 2024, 05:02:00 am
Having seen your profile, I think it might be good for us to meet, there is no right way to approach this so I hope you can see past any mistakes I may make in approaching you.

In the past couple year ’ve met a couple of women via adultwork. I didn’t ask them for reviews but they were good enough, unprompted, to give me a positive ones. These encounters were pleasurable for me, and I’d like to think, that, as I saw them on a number of occasions I did my bit towards making the experience a positive one for them too.

On a personal level, I think I can say that I’m friendly, easy going, reasonably intelligent and someone who will always try to get along with people. II'd like to meet someone my own age but at the same time like all the usual things, films, books, music, food, wine, etc I know that I’m well meaning, I’d like to think that this comes across, but it’s not for me to say.

I live, close to the city, in east London, close enoughthat, we’d never accidently bump into one and other. I’m very much a creature of east London, having lived here all my life aside from a couple of years working in USA and Switzerland. That said, you can rest assured that, I don’t have a Cockney accent.

Something else you should know.

There are two ways of saying this, I could say that I’m old enough to be your dad, or I could put it another way, and say that I’m the same age as George Clooney. I don’t imagine many women would turn George down, so why turn me down. We’re pretty much the same, excepting the fame, riches and good looks!!

I used to have Auburn hair but now it’s mostly white. I suppose that would make me a snow fox, hopefully I’m still in reasonably good condition because, I go to the gym three times a week, cycle, and have had a yoga practice for the past 20 years.

What I need to find is the right woman to enjoy some sensuality with, I don’t think I’ve found her yet, and have written to you because, I’d like to find out if maybe that might be you.

If this sounds like something you want to follow up on, great, it doesn’t have to be instantaneous. I like the fact you have a day job, and fit this in when you can.

Let me know what you think
 ::)
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Serendipitydo on 28 April 2024, 09:43:48 pm
Quote from: Femme fatale on 28 April 2024, 05:02:00 am
Having seen your profile, I think it might be good for us to meet, there is no right way to approach this so I hope you can see past any mistakes I may make in approaching you.

In the past couple year ’ve met a couple of women via adultwork. I didn’t ask them for reviews but they were good enough, unprompted, to give me a positive ones. These encounters were pleasurable for me, and I’d like to think, that, as I saw them on a number of occasions I did my bit towards making the experience a positive one for them too.

On a personal level, I think I can say that I’m friendly, easy going, reasonably intelligent and someone who will always try to get along with people. II'd like to meet someone my own age but at the same time like all the usual things, films, books, music, food, wine, etc I know that I’m well meaning, I’d like to think that this comes across, but it’s not for me to say.

I live, close to the city, in east London, close enoughthat, we’d never accidently bump into one and other. I’m very much a creature of east London, having lived here all my life aside from a couple of years working in USA and Switzerland. That said, you can rest assured that, I don’t have a Cockney accent.

Something else you should know.

There are two ways of saying this, I could say that I’m old enough to be your dad, or I could put it another way, and say that I’m the same age as George Clooney. I don’t imagine many women would turn George down, so why turn me down. We’re pretty much the same, excepting the fame, riches and good looks!!

I used to have Auburn hair but now it’s mostly white. I suppose that would make me a snow fox, hopefully I’m still in reasonably good condition because, I go to the gym three times a week, cycle, and have had a yoga practice for the past 20 years.

What I need to find is the right woman to enjoy some sensuality with, I don’t think I’ve found her yet, and have written to you because, I’d like to find out if maybe that might be you.

If this sounds like something you want to follow up on, great, it doesn’t have to be instantaneous. I like the fact you have a day job, and fit this in when you can.

Let me know what you think
 ::)

Ok, well that's this thread closed! You win, hands down! ;D
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: CuteElsa on 29 April 2024, 07:43:14 am
Quote from: Serendipitydo on 28 April 2024, 09:43:48 pm
Ok, well that's this thread closed! You win, hands down! ;D

I think that guy has got confused between AW and Seeking Arrangement 😹
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Femme fatale on 29 April 2024, 07:54:14 am
😂 George Clooney ! He wishes
Many of you have the most hilarious posts I love reading them here .
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Serendipitydo on 29 April 2024, 07:42:29 pm
Exactly! as Elsa said, it ain't a dating site Honey!
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: SquirtyQueen on 02 May 2024, 11:41:23 am
"Prices?"

 :FF
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Sammy13 on 02 May 2024, 03:46:44 pm
Text saying:
 “Are you free now and do you do anal?”

And then less than a minute later another text from him just saying:
“Well???”

It states in capital letters on my profile that I don’t do anal ffs! Couldn’t be arsed to even respond
Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Boudoir on 02 May 2024, 06:58:46 pm
Just received, one of the worst I've had for a long time, have reposted in it's full cringing entirety. Anyone else had this cut and paste delight? Can't imagine he's had many takers for the fun research  :-X

hiya X
i sincerely hope a polite introductory note enquiry is welcome

i've read your information and you sound lovely and genuine and content to explore and leave a respectful gentleman released from this world, for a moment or more?

i really am in need of release if not, draining

though new to this site, i am not entirely naive and wish to experience more in capable company

i adore your feminine look shapely legs and in black lingerie and bodice on your public profile is lovely.

i am a professional guy of similar demographic

i also love to be teased and flirted with before rushing in

i adore prominent responsive nipples sensory play and of course, pleasing pussy and tasting feminine cum

i am really very oral.
i adore feminine and shapely legs in heels. i also adore nipple play too. my own nipples are intensely sensetive, and need attention.
you can even build up to a gentle tweak or pinch of my nipples, but not too hard lol

i also love to be anally played and fingered and warming me up to deep prostate massage. i am healthy inside and out, and complete personal enemas from time to time for cleanliness and health

one fantasy of mine would be to orally relieved (to CIM) after extended edging and arse play and prostate massage. not to be let off too quickly, either.

sorry of this is too much information, but i think its appropriate to be clear and share my hopes and kinks

it would also be nice to repeat, if we enjoy our company.

if you feel you can help, it leaves me to ask:

would you consider an outcall to X or X for 90minutes for 90 minutes or 2hrs? id ensure i serve you a welcoming cuppa, and we can chat first

thanks again, X

X x

PS

i am also running a very fun and confidential 'research' to measure nipple width and length, very accurately indeed to the millimetre.

i can also measure pussy lips too!

it's simply very confidential fun and twist, to add some relaxing interest to a meet

i just thought it would be fun to know how sizes different, as opposed to men who are simply obsessed with what they think their cocks are!

you don't have to do it if you don't want - it's just confidential fun

much love.



Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: Clarabella on 02 May 2024, 08:04:11 pm
Quote from: Boudoir on 02 May 2024, 06:58:46 pm
Just received, one of the worst I've had for a long time, have reposted in it's full cringing entirety. Anyone else had this cut and paste delight? Can't imagine he's had many takers for the fun research  :-X

hiya X
i sincerely hope a polite introductory note enquiry is welcome

I hated him from there lol

i've read your information and you sound lovely and genuine and content to explore and leave a respectful gentleman released from this world, for a moment or more?

i really am in need of release if not, draining

though new to this site, i am not entirely naive and wish to experience more in capable company

i adore your feminine look shapely legs and in black lingerie and bodice on your public profile is lovely.

i am a professional guy of similar demographic

i also love to be teased and flirted with before rushing in

i adore prominent responsive nipples sensory play and of course, pleasing pussy and tasting feminine cum

i am really very oral.
i adore feminine and shapely legs in heels. i also adore nipple play too. my own nipples are intensely sensetive, and need attention.
you can even build up to a gentle tweak or pinch of my nipples, but not too hard lol

i also love to be anally played and fingered and warming me up to deep prostate massage. i am healthy inside and out, and complete personal enemas from time to time for cleanliness and health

one fantasy of mine would be to orally relieved (to CIM) after extended edging and arse play and prostate massage. not to be let off too quickly, either.

sorry of this is too much information, but i think its appropriate to be clear and share my hopes and kinks

it would also be nice to repeat, if we enjoy our company.

if you feel you can help, it leaves me to ask:

would you consider an outcall to X or X for 90minutes for 90 minutes or 2hrs? id ensure i serve you a welcoming cuppa, and we can chat first

thanks again, X

X x

PS

i am also running a very fun and confidential 'research' to measure nipple width and length, very accurately indeed to the millimetre.

i can also measure pussy lips too!

it's simply very confidential fun and twist, to add some relaxing interest to a meet

i just thought it would be fun to know how sizes different, as opposed to men who are simply obsessed with what they think their cocks are!

you don't have to do it if you don't want - it's just confidential fun

much love.

Title: Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
Post by: amy on 02 May 2024, 10:37:38 pm
This is the sort of thing that makes me so glad I don't use email for work  :-X ;D