That reminds me this one:
Hi will you give me a handjob whilst i post a video viral of some twat guy i don't like for £200? The video is already on youtube and hes jacking off, i want you to post it viral on fb it is a genuine request.m x

Tbh it doesn’t make sense so I have decided to ignore

This fucking stupid idiot contacted me about this too, think it was in Bham and he was prepared to travel from London or somewhere similar  As if a video of some random having a wank is going to 'go viral on facebook' 

Sounds hugely confident,  lawyerish and educated

Random- I'd like to see you now.
Me- what time?
Random- now
Me- Do you actually mean now as in 1 second or 30 seconds?
Random- Yes
Me- not possible
Random- I don't understand I'm her now!
Me- I can't see you in 30 seconds
Random- So your not free
Me- That isn't what I said
Random- I mean how long do you need 15 minutes 30 minutes?
Me-That isn't what you asked for
Random- This isn't going to work 

Might start answering phone calls - it seems like it’s free comedy content all the way ..

Hahahahaha I do this too!
"Can I see you now?"
"Are you outside my hotel? That'd be pretty amazing since I haven't told you where I am...?"
"Well, no."
"So, you don't want to see me now? What's your idea of now, then? You really need to be more specific."
Heh heh.😈😈

A client I saw several times until last year when he started to mess me around with asking am I free then not following it up (you know the kind of thing I mean) was finally put out to pasture by me. I just couldn't be bothered with his games any more.

Yesterday he tried a new angle.

Thought I would text you to ask will you do x,y,z as I have booked another escort for these things but you are the best and if you tell me how you would do the booking I will cancel her and book you instead.

The x,y,z services were taboo and not things I am prepared to do and he knew this.

He just wanted wank texts and my response?  A big fat ignore.

I accidentally opened this thread on page 1 and started to read- nothing has changed! I didn't realise I was reading 2009 for ages!

However, I have removed my phone number from AW, my website and any advertising when I can, instructing potential clients I need at least 24 hours notice and a nice email introducing themselves in advance. I've also stopped paying for the local escorts listing on Aw.

The silence of my phone is utter bliss! No idiots calling at all hours and no R U free hun? texts! I'm doing the same number of bookings without all the annoyance!

This works for me and how I work now, I don't expect it to work for everyone's required volume of work and I expect I have jinxed myself and will now received an inbox full of nonsense, haggling and weirdness!

That said, before I did this I had a client idiot before I did this who originally booked an outcall at a hotel near me but his plans changed and was staying somewhere else and  wanted me to go to somewhere about 90 mins away by car (I don't drive) but wasn't willing to pay for my cab or extra time to include the 3 hours of travel he was expecting! He was totally surprised I wanted to charge him more and that this wouldn't be a huge inconvenience to me! Then kept ringing and ringing and texting to whinge how horny and disappointed he was...

Subject: Van service please read
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Alright I'm a shy guy 32 years old looking to earn some extra money just like you but using my van, I was thinking maybe you could offer a van service to get more clients earn more money an the same time earn me a lil extra money by using the back of my van for outcalls/ dogging if you know what I mean, I could pick you up and drive to the location an drop you back no problem it's just a idea I think could get u more customers an earn both me and you extra money?

Ann, you could actually have a lot of fun with this if you're bored, lol.

"Sure! Now, are you wanting to watch? Bc that'll be an extra charge ~ from you to me naturally...then if you wanted to join in there'd be an additional extra donation & let's see, hmmmm. Have to make sure the client's ok with all this & hey! Got some friends? Maybe they'd want to watch/join! That's a thousand bucks per! Gee, I'm kind of liking this idea of yours, we could call it....Whores With Doors! Rolling Dollies...Don't Come Knocking if This Van's A Rocking!!! Doesn't sound like you'll be earning much, but I'm loving it! Call me!"

Of course this would be the 1 nutjob who'd agree to everything but hey, hopefully I made everyone laugh🤷🏼‍♀️.

Text: Can you deduct my taxi cost from your hour rate. I want to see you but it’s raining so I don’t want to walk!