Got this gem today:

"festive discount"

Nothing else at all. Fucking idiot

what service do I get in a 15 min quickie ?
it says u finish today at 9pm can I see you at 9.45pm ?
email from a clown on adultwork
 

I don't accept text correspondence and received this text this morning, "I'm having difficulty calling out on my phone so can't call you. Would love to come and see you today though if you are available?"

I'd be more concerned about getting my phone to work properly than booking an escort.

"Would you swap a meet for a iPad Air "

I laughed him off, though now I'm actually considering this as a Christmas present for someone... Still ends up in the thread for the ridiculousness of the situation!

I've had the offer of an iPod in return for a session! A bloody iPod ! A mac book air is an improvement at least x

Had a call this morning:
I will be in your area in a few days and want to know before I book can you sit on my face and fanny fart on me?
Err no.

Email received at 2.53, "Can I see you at 3pm?" Sure, are you already outside my front door?!

I do declare sometimes a few deluded so called punters assume I run councelling service.  Got an email this morning from someone I supposedly had seen before asking if we could possibly meet this week, directed him to my schedule and availability for him to decide what time and day would suit him.  This was his response..

Sorry , not looking for nothing in a professional capacity .
 
just vhat hun, if that ok with u

My response was...

Sorry but I run a business not the Samaritans but you are welcome to book me for an hour just to have a chat.

Why is it that just because you are professional and friendly during your appointments they assume you are gullible and stupid.