There used to be a bloke in Belfast who claimed to be a hairdresser and would text asking if he could come and cut your hair in a booking. I've no idea if he was genuine but if he was he must have been as thick as a plank if he thought anybody was going to get naked and let a total stranger with not one very sharp blade but TWO come anywhere near them .

bet he almost ripped his cock off writing that

Had this a few minutes ago from Pest 3 (that's what he's saved as)
Pest 3: Yo
u there??
you want to see me?
I make your pussy wet - licky lick?
Is it because I'm 18 

Me: No, it's because you are an absolute twat who annoys the face off me, now sod off and have a wank over the beano - BLOCKED

I hadn't blocked until now as he was just slightly irritating me before, but nothing major; plus him being 18 is news to me - the Jackass 

I do save most of my twat messages that I read to give me a giggle if I'm bored - normal people probably do social media etc, but I re-read my texts and reverse bookings haaaaa 

Guy phones there for a booking for 6.30 this eve. Once I get off the phone after giving him that time, he texts me asking if I want a picture of his dick 

Booking cancelled and his number blocked!

Oh my goodness.... Why do guys do this? 
My most recent experience of a dick pic was after he had left saying 'remember this' and a picture of his ugly penis, pffff. What I wanted to write was 'Of course I remember it as it was skinny and rather bent, you had a harelip and wore a bottle green hoodie and matching baseball cap, although you are 53 FFS!!!! So yes, I remember you'. What I actually said was 'I've seen your cock once today and that was enough; don't sext text me please because I'll just block you' - job done!! 

....me just want to watch ?

Why do people write in the same way they speak to their pals 

That's making ME eyes bleed reading that haaaaa 

Had a bit of a giggle not long ago

Ass: Hi are you available? I've not used an escort before can I call you?
Me: Yes, of course

He calls and tells me his wife is ill and they have been married for 30 years. Asks what services I do. I ask if he has read my profile. He states not so I advise I will send him the link to my AW profile, which I do.....

Text from Ass: Are the services in purple accurate
Me: As far as I know yes...is there anything in particular you like
Ass: Well do you do them all?
Me (after checking and taking of face sitting and female ejaculation as well as food sex/sloshing: Services are accurate
Ass: Well you've taken off face sitting and female ejaculation???
Me: Because I don't do it
Ass: Why?
Me: Because I choose not to
Ass: But why? 
Me: Are you bored or something?
Ass: Sorry
Ass: You got any pics? You've got great legs
Me: No fella, now get knotted and stop wasting my time BLOCK 

They're all getting in the Christmas spirit lately (scrooges) lol!

Him texting asking how much 15 minutes is, I reply my minimum booking is 30 minutes at ?70, he replies 'Bit steep...close to Christmas, I'll see thank you xxx  I reply 'That's what I charge all year round I never put my prices up'. He replies 'Ok thank you would love to see you but can't 'justify' ?70...Gutted xx


Oh well at least he was polite, still not bartering though lol.

It's clearly fucktard Tuesday