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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2599121 times)

Wailing Banshee

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12660 on: 03 April 2018, 03:48:43 pm »
Brilliant! I am going to add a surcharge onto those who mention size of enormous cock!
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seraphine

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12661 on: 04 April 2018, 12:05:08 am »
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« Last Edit: 25 January 2019, 08:06:16 pm by 80s synthetic »
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Dynamite Doll

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12662 on: 04 April 2018, 12:35:54 am »
Quote from: Wailing Banshee on 03 April 2018, 03:48:43 pm
Brilliant! I am going to add a surcharge onto those who mention size of enormous cock!

loool it is not something I mention on my adverts but I say it over the phone allot and one time got lucky arrived on the outcall and his willy was not big as he claimed to be but I kept the extra 100 and just inflated his ego. ohhh what big cock (in my head average willly) gently baby don't do me deep. So I have stuck with surcharge reply ever since.
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TandPJS

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12663 on: 04 April 2018, 09:40:48 am »
Quote from: DynamiteDoll on 04 April 2018, 12:35:54 am
loool it is not something I mention on my adverts but I say it over the phone allot and one time got lucky arrived on the outcall and his willy was not big as he claimed to be but I kept the extra 100 and just inflated his ego. ohhh what big cock (in my head average willly) gently baby don't do me deep. So I have stuck with surcharge reply ever since.

that's gonna be my new policy!

Moron: "Hi can i just rub my penis on the outisde of your vagina without a condom just to ejaculate?"

Me: "Sorry you've just failed my intelligence screening test"

Moron: "I've had a test as well!"

Me: for IQ?

Moron : "HIV"

Me: and for your IQ?

Moron: "yes"

Me: Was it positive?
*pause of several minutes as client presumably googles 'IQ' thinking it's some kind of STD

Moron: "yes"
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seraphine

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12664 on: 04 April 2018, 10:04:05 am »
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« Last Edit: 28 January 2019, 06:06:59 pm by 80s synthetic »
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Rosesugar

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12665 on: 04 April 2018, 10:52:15 am »
This thread is hilarious  ;D
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VoluptuousCurves

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12666 on: 04 April 2018, 12:31:55 pm »
Quote from: DynamiteDoll on 04 April 2018, 12:35:54 am
loool it is not something I mention on my adverts but I say it over the phone allot and one time got lucky arrived on the outcall and his willy was not big as he claimed to be but I kept the extra 100 and just inflated his ego. ohhh what big cock (in my head average willly) gently baby don't do me deep. So I have stuck with surcharge reply ever since.

You've got me thinking now. I generally ask guys "Have you ever been refused full sex with an escort before?" and if they say yes I say it's probably best we don't meet then as I can't handle an over-sized penis.
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And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress

Rosesugar

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12667 on: 04 April 2018, 01:00:22 pm »
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 04 April 2018, 12:31:55 pm
You've got me thinking now. I generally ask guys "Have you ever been refused full sex with an escort before?" and if they say yes I say it's probably best we don't meet then as I can't handle an over-sized penis.

Yes this will be remembered xx
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kitty_69

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12668 on: 04 April 2018, 01:10:15 pm »
first and only message on aw from this guy

I?m free today if you have a time and interest can text me .im looking a bit fun in my off

no number !!!
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nice_kitty_69

chocoholicgirl

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12669 on: 04 April 2018, 01:25:07 pm »
They are deluded.

Phone call today.

Twat - "Where are you babe?"

Me - "I'm in xxx town."

Twat - "Oh. (Sounds disappointed.) I thought you were in xxx town. (No idea why when it says on ALL my ads exactly where I am. ???) Well I suppose I could come to you? But I'm wondering, would it be worth my while?"

Me - Hangs up.  :FF :FF :FF
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BibiofLeeds

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12670 on: 04 April 2018, 04:05:28 pm »
I'd have replied with 'I don't know but I'm pretty sure it won't be worth my while.' ::)
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Asiangirl55

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12671 on: 05 April 2018, 02:59:41 am »
I got this awfully long text from a guy who was apparently serious about booking:

Babe you're going to think I'm crazy or full of shit but here goes so I had the full intention of booking you today been up frm 5 I start work at 6 O'clock in the morning today & was still up for it after a 8 x shift lol. Instead of going st8 to you after work (should have in hindsight). I went home 2 eat,shower, drink a magnum, put on nice attire etc. In the process of eating & drinking a bottle of coke my food whent down the wrong hole & a burp come up at the same time, in a nutshell my back is FU**** as a result of this freak injury I'm literally crippled and unable to posture my back straight without being in absolute agony, therefore unable to sexually perform as desired lol. I even aqquired a pair of sexy white leggings it just wasn't meant to be...today lol as soon as I recover seeing will be my #1 priority. Your accent, in our very brief convo really turned me on. Sorry to mess you about.
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Gypsy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12672 on: 05 April 2018, 07:49:01 am »
Quote from: Asiangirl55 on 05 April 2018, 02:59:41 am
I got this awfully long text from a guy who was apparently serious about booking:

Babe you're going to think I'm crazy or full of shit but here goes so I had the full intention of booking you today been up frm 5 I start work at 6 O'clock in the morning today & was still up for it after a 8 x shift lol. Instead of going st8 to you after work (should have in hindsight). I went home 2 eat,shower, drink a magnum, put on nice attire etc. In the process of eating & drinking a bottle of coke my food whent down the wrong hole & a burp come up at the same time, in a nutshell my back is FU**** as a result of this freak injury I'm literally crippled and unable to posture my back straight without being in absolute agony, therefore unable to sexually perform as desired lol. I even aqquired a pair of sexy white leggings it just wasn't meant to be...today lol as soon as I recover seeing will be my #1 priority. Your accent, in our very brief convo really turned me on. Sorry to mess you about.

Ha ha ha ha!  ;D

Well, that's creative!  ;)
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These days there are no Prince Charmings. A girl just has to be her own hero

VoluptuousCurves

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12673 on: 05 April 2018, 08:27:11 am »
That's so weirdly detailed that I'd be inclined to believe it! I have an ex who slipped a disc in his back due to coughing while he was reaching up to get a can of beans out the cupboard.

At least it's more entertaining than "I've been called into work" :D
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And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress

seraphine

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12674 on: 05 April 2018, 04:25:05 pm »
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« Last Edit: 25 January 2019, 08:05:05 pm by 80s synthetic »
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