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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2599361 times)

Roxy101

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8190 on: 12 December 2015, 11:10:54 pm »
Guy called to start with and sounded normal enough. He said he had to call back when he knew if he could get away.

Then the bombardment of texts came:

Him: you sound hot, I need to sneak away to get to you xx

Him: can you do me for ?xx instead?

Him: ?

Him: ??

Him: are you there ?

Him: I'm so horny I need to see you

Him: ??
 
Me: I'm fully booked. Sorry. (I wasn't but wanted him to stop texting)

Him: aw that's a shame I wanted to see you

Him: ??

Him: when are you next available.

The texts stop after a while  ::)

BlaqHarlot

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8191 on: 12 December 2015, 11:28:37 pm »
I had a booking earlier today and upon finishing the booking I went into the bathroom to change and freshen up to go home and I checked my phone quick and had a text that said this "Hi bb rang you yesterday but no answer wanna meet up today for 15 minute quickie can you call me no so horny over your pics I'm dripping precum" Nice!!

Didn't bother to reply, his poor spelling, and the fact that I don't do 15 mins meant he wasn't for me haha.

Lois01827

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8192 on: 13 December 2015, 05:48:12 pm »
Fucktard: Hi, John, hairdresser nearly 50. I think I fit your bill
Me: Really - how so?
Fucktard: Cut and fun - fancy it?
Me: That sounds perversely kinky - explain
Fucktard: I'll cut your hair as a treat
Me: I'm an escort entertaining men, not looking for Edward scissor hands
Fucktard: It'll be fun. you ride me and in return, I cut your hair at the same time but no money exchanged
Me: Are you high fella? sling it (blocked)

Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8193 on: 13 December 2015, 07:29:29 pm »
Fucktard: Hi, John, hairdresser nearly 50. I think I fit your bill
Me: Really - how so?
Fucktard: Cut and fun - fancy it?
Me: That sounds perversely kinky - explain
Fucktard: I'll cut your hair as a treat
Me: I'm an escort entertaining men, not looking for Edward scissor hands
Fucktard: It'll be fun. you ride me and in return, I cut your hair at the same time but no money exchanged
Me: Are you high fella? sling it (blocked)

Edward Scissorhands!!! Fucking LMAO!!!

And "you ride me and in return, I cut your hair at the same time" - I know (I hope!) that this is just bad grammar, but that there is a whole new kink! Being fucked while having your hair cut! :D ;D

katrina

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8194 on: 14 December 2015, 11:32:09 am »
A text received at 6am Saturday morning, seen about 11am: Hi Kat, do you do 15 minutes and what services is included? (yawn)

katrina

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8195 on: 14 December 2015, 11:34:58 am »
Had this come through the other day. Went to delete it straight away but was bored it so tried to read it for a laugh. Got bored half way through and skim read the last bit.



Hi to you...
Suffering Humiliation at the hands of a beautiful girl/girls is what I seek. I am a big sissy girl..My name is pansy...

When you enter the hotel room , I will be in my sissy latex dress and latex tights and I will have my anal vibrator in too..and one of those rubber hoods that only show my eyes and mouth..
" Ha ha ha , you big fucking fairy " - " Oh , you do look pretty , you pansy " etc etc.. Cruel taunts a plenty

Everything you will need will be on the table ready..Firstly , my ball gag goes in and then I am ordered to lay on the bed where you sit astride my neck and smother me with your hot wet pussy

" Mmmmm , can you smell my scent , you big fucking girl " Ha ha ha

" Would you like to fuck me pansy " ? - " Awww , I dont allow big girls like you to " cum " Ha ha ha....

On the bed is a thick rubber bag that looks like a giant condom.I can get into it quite easily and lay down inside it..It has a built in D-Ring at the end of it ,and an eyelet for a gas mask hose to go through.. If I oil it beforehand , then because I am in latex from neck to foot , I slide into it quite easily...
" Lets put you into your gas mask fairy " , and then you zip it down at the back. Then you tie my ankles together...
" Now get into your bag. Hurry up , I haven`t got all night. Pull it up to your armpits..Put your arms out " , and you buckle my rubber ball mitts on my wrists....and then you try to put me into the bag.....But at this point...I dont want to and I resist.....
" Awwww , its alright pansy , you dont have to. Lets get your pretty tights down and I will give you a nice wank eh girlie "...
You then soak the cotton wool with the poppers , put it into the gas mask canister and screw the canister onto my gas mask....and then you switch the vibrator on full...
you will have no trouble getting my arms behind me and using the cable tie to secure my wrists....Once that is done , I am at your mercy................

You remove the canister from the gas mask and push me all the way into the bag. On the floor are some lengths of rope.. You knot the end of the bag which I have just slid down with the rope very tightly and then tie the end of the rope to one end of the bed and the same with the other end...

No matter how much I try , I cannot get off the bed..The only way I will ever get free is when someone unties the bag from the bed and lets me out..Take the gas mask hose and thread it through the eyelet and screw it onto my gas mask , and then you can popper the canister again and attach it to the gas mask hose end sticking out of the bag...

I can breathe quite easily in the bag. I have stayed in it for 16 hours or more and never had any problems...

" Heh heh heh , are you comfortable in there , you big fucking girl "...Thats good...because...

" YOU ARE FUCKING STAYING IN IT " Heh heh heh heh

" THE MAID WILL LET YOU OUT IN THE MORNING " Heh heh heh

" BYE BYE , YOU BIG FUCKING FAIRY " Heh heh heh

And that is it....You leave me like that..The crushing humiliation and embarrassment and shame being found this way is what I crave....

Will you do this ? How much will it be ?

Thank you

pansy

Sounds like a horror movie.

I had that one too, even if it was true I didn't fancy a manslaughter charge if he didn't get found...

Lois01827

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8196 on: 14 December 2015, 11:55:50 am »
Just had this email on AW

Lois

Hate to ask this but would love to make love to you whilst slipping my lubed finger into your naughty little bumhole

David xx

There's no question there, unless I'm being thick (which I'm not) - annoying messages like this are from pricks just wanting wank fodder. I certainly won't be replying  >:(

Lois01827

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8197 on: 14 December 2015, 12:02:17 pm »
Had this come through the other day. Went to delete it straight away but was bored it so tried to read it for a laugh. Got bored half way through and skim read the last bit.



Hi to you...
Suffering Humiliation at the hands of a beautiful girl/girls is what I seek. I am a big sissy girl..My name is pansy...

When you enter the hotel room , I will be in my sissy latex dress and latex tights and I will have my anal vibrator in too..and one of those rubber hoods that only show my eyes and mouth..
" Ha ha ha , you big fucking fairy " - " Oh , you do look pretty , you pansy " etc etc.. Cruel taunts a plenty

Everything you will need will be on the table ready..Firstly , my ball gag goes in and then I am ordered to lay on the bed where you sit astride my neck and smother me with your hot wet pussy

" Mmmmm , can you smell my scent , you big fucking girl " Ha ha ha

" Would you like to fuck me pansy " ? - " Awww , I dont allow big girls like you to " cum " Ha ha ha....

On the bed is a thick rubber bag that looks like a giant condom.I can get into it quite easily and lay down inside it..It has a built in D-Ring at the end of it ,and an eyelet for a gas mask hose to go through.. If I oil it beforehand , then because I am in latex from neck to foot , I slide into it quite easily...
" Lets put you into your gas mask fairy " , and then you zip it down at the back. Then you tie my ankles together...
" Now get into your bag. Hurry up , I haven`t got all night. Pull it up to your armpits..Put your arms out " , and you buckle my rubber ball mitts on my wrists....and then you try to put me into the bag.....But at this point...I dont want to and I resist.....
" Awwww , its alright pansy , you dont have to. Lets get your pretty tights down and I will give you a nice wank eh girlie "...
You then soak the cotton wool with the poppers , put it into the gas mask canister and screw the canister onto my gas mask....and then you switch the vibrator on full...
you will have no trouble getting my arms behind me and using the cable tie to secure my wrists....Once that is done , I am at your mercy................

You remove the canister from the gas mask and push me all the way into the bag. On the floor are some lengths of rope.. You knot the end of the bag which I have just slid down with the rope very tightly and then tie the end of the rope to one end of the bed and the same with the other end...

No matter how much I try , I cannot get off the bed..The only way I will ever get free is when someone unties the bag from the bed and lets me out..Take the gas mask hose and thread it through the eyelet and screw it onto my gas mask , and then you can popper the canister again and attach it to the gas mask hose end sticking out of the bag...

I can breathe quite easily in the bag. I have stayed in it for 16 hours or more and never had any problems...

" Heh heh heh , are you comfortable in there , you big fucking girl "...Thats good...because...

" YOU ARE FUCKING STAYING IN IT " Heh heh heh heh

" THE MAID WILL LET YOU OUT IN THE MORNING " Heh heh heh

" BYE BYE , YOU BIG FUCKING FAIRY " Heh heh heh

And that is it....You leave me like that..The crushing humiliation and embarrassment and shame being found this way is what I crave....

Will you do this ? How much will it be ?

Thank you

pansy

Oh wowzers - I am crying laughing here; so much so that tea has come out of my nose  ;D ;D ;D Pansy sounds a right kinky bitch ha. I'd guess he's either really small and weighs about 6 stone wringing wet with all his clothes on, or built like a brick shit house covered in hair haaaaaaa

Lois01827

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8198 on: 14 December 2015, 12:04:27 pm »
Pansy sounds like he wants putting down and you to perform euthanasia on him - I can't stop laughing

TrashAzn

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8199 on: 14 December 2015, 12:24:29 pm »
I lost it at "heh heh heh" I just wonder what goes through the mind of people who do stuff like this like what is he getting out of writing bad amateur porno over email to escorts.

Lois01827

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8200 on: 14 December 2015, 12:51:46 pm »
Just had a text from a mature (68) gent.

Pensioner: I see you do half hours now, are you free?
Me: not until after 3 (I'm busy on here ha)
Pensioner: Oh well I'm hungry now (eh!!!)
Me: Go and get a sandwich from boots BLOCK  :FF 

Additionally, I wanted to say go get some soup to suck on if you've not got your teeth in, because you ain't feasting on this gal - eugh!!!  ;D

Lois01827

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8201 on: 14 December 2015, 12:54:08 pm »
I lost it at "heh heh heh" I just wonder what goes through the mind of people who do stuff like this like what is he getting out of writing bad amateur porno over email to escorts.

Must have taken him about three weeks to write that whilst suffocating in latex hidden out in his condom cocoon  ;D :o

katrina

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8202 on: 14 December 2015, 01:39:51 pm »
I lost it at "heh heh heh" I just wonder what goes through the mind of people who do stuff like this like what is he getting out of writing bad amateur porno over email to escorts.

Must have taken him about three weeks to write that whilst suffocating in latex hidden out in his condom cocoon  ;D :o


I must admit when I read it fully it is funny, even though he's got no common sense he does have a sense of humour. I can imagine doing it to him then walking away laughing at him saying 'You big fucking fairy' lol

Hadley

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  • Posts: 750
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8203 on: 14 December 2015, 01:49:52 pm »
Had this come through the other day. Went to delete it straight away but was bored it so tried to read it for a laugh. Got bored half way through and skim read the last bit.



Hi to you...
Suffering Humiliation at the hands of a beautiful girl/girls is what I seek. I am a big sissy girl..My name is pansy...

When you enter the hotel room , I will be in my sissy latex dress and latex tights and I will have my anal vibrator in too..and one of those rubber hoods that only show my eyes and mouth..
" Ha ha ha , you big fucking fairy " - " Oh , you do look pretty , you pansy " etc etc.. Cruel taunts a plenty

Everything you will need will be on the table ready..Firstly , my ball gag goes in and then I am ordered to lay on the bed where you sit astride my neck and smother me with your hot wet pussy

" Mmmmm , can you smell my scent , you big fucking girl " Ha ha ha

" Would you like to fuck me pansy " ? - " Awww , I dont allow big girls like you to " cum " Ha ha ha....

On the bed is a thick rubber bag that looks like a giant condom.I can get into it quite easily and lay down inside it..It has a built in D-Ring at the end of it ,and an eyelet for a gas mask hose to go through.. If I oil it beforehand , then because I am in latex from neck to foot , I slide into it quite easily...
" Lets put you into your gas mask fairy " , and then you zip it down at the back. Then you tie my ankles together...
" Now get into your bag. Hurry up , I haven`t got all night. Pull it up to your armpits..Put your arms out " , and you buckle my rubber ball mitts on my wrists....and then you try to put me into the bag.....But at this point...I dont want to and I resist.....
" Awwww , its alright pansy , you dont have to. Lets get your pretty tights down and I will give you a nice wank eh girlie "...
You then soak the cotton wool with the poppers , put it into the gas mask canister and screw the canister onto my gas mask....and then you switch the vibrator on full...
you will have no trouble getting my arms behind me and using the cable tie to secure my wrists....Once that is done , I am at your mercy................

You remove the canister from the gas mask and push me all the way into the bag. On the floor are some lengths of rope.. You knot the end of the bag which I have just slid down with the rope very tightly and then tie the end of the rope to one end of the bed and the same with the other end...

No matter how much I try , I cannot get off the bed..The only way I will ever get free is when someone unties the bag from the bed and lets me out..Take the gas mask hose and thread it through the eyelet and screw it onto my gas mask , and then you can popper the canister again and attach it to the gas mask hose end sticking out of the bag...

I can breathe quite easily in the bag. I have stayed in it for 16 hours or more and never had any problems...

" Heh heh heh , are you comfortable in there , you big fucking girl "...Thats good...because...

" YOU ARE FUCKING STAYING IN IT " Heh heh heh heh

" THE MAID WILL LET YOU OUT IN THE MORNING " Heh heh heh

" BYE BYE , YOU BIG FUCKING FAIRY " Heh heh heh

And that is it....You leave me like that..The crushing humiliation and embarrassment and shame being found this way is what I crave....

Will you do this ? How much will it be ?

Thank you

pansy

...he wrote whilst wanking

Damn right, bet he almost ripped his cock off writing that
"Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding."

-Betty White

Lois01827

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8204 on: 14 December 2015, 07:46:17 pm »
Fucktard: Hi, John, hairdresser nearly 50. I think I fit your bill
Me: Really - how so?
Fucktard: Cut and fun - fancy it?
Me: That sounds perversely kinky - explain
Fucktard: I'll cut your hair as a treat
Me: I'm an escort entertaining men, not looking for Edward scissor hands
Fucktard: It'll be fun. you ride me and in return, I cut your hair at the same time but no money exchanged
Me: Are you high fella? sling it (blocked)

Edward Scissorhands!!! Fucking LMAO!!!

And "you ride me and in return, I cut your hair at the same time" - I know (I hope!) that this is just bad grammar, but that there is a whole new kink! Being fucked while having your hair cut! :D ;D

Haha - I know Cat..... imagine what my barnet would look like in that scenario; I'd probably end up with a comb-over or resemble Jimmy Cranky  :o