Ok sorry I'm gonna bore you all with this incredibly long txt conversation complete with spelling, please note I meet this guy twice
he is approximately 60 yrs old
Old guy: if tom r nit e suit yu be ok but no problem if not darling xxx
Me: I'm working tonight and tomorrow night
Old guy: great darling g look for a r d to meet yu again yu lovely girl will let you know later pet xxx
Old guy (2 hrs later) : hi darling how yu will it be ok to meet u tom r nit e as can't make it to nit e as having a funeral to attend hope dat ok wit yu love xxx (name)
Old guy (1hr later) : hi darling how yu will yu be ok to meet tom r nit e sun if da at suit yu kiss you (name) xxx
Old guy (20 mins) : hi love will tom r nit e suit love yu xxx
Me (clenched teeth): yes tomorrow is fine, was working didn't get a chance to text back. See you tomorrow
Old guy (1 min): o days great look for a r d to meet yu pet sorry text yu wen yu working (so why text!!!!) how are you love xxx
Next day
Old guy: Hello darling sorry can't make it to ni t e had to drive to de air port got delayed xxx (I'm done
)
8 days later
Old guy: hello darling how yu hope u well love to go to bed with yu and make love and have fun have yu any place dat we cu d do dat kiss u pet xxx
Old guy (hr later): hi love hope yu are havin a nice day and enjoye n good weather we d yu fancy making love to go to bed wit yu you are such a lovely lady xxx
Old guy (40 mins) : wu d yu fancy dat darling yu sexy girl xxx
Old guy (2 mins) : hi darling how yu did yu get my text about wat asked yu kiss u pet xxx
((In my head screams))
Old guy (25 mins) hi darling how yu hope yu well xxx
(ah a smiley face now I'm gonna reply for sure)
Old guy (13 mins) : how yu darling hope all good wit yu xxxx
Old guy (1 min): hi luv hope u ok hope yu well xxx
Old guy (4 mins) : let me kno wen suit yu dat ee can meet again xxx
Next day
Old guy: hi love how yu wen suit yu to meet again xxx
Old guy (10 mins) : hi love how yu hope yu well xxx
Old guy (7 mins) wen will yu be available to meet darling xxx
Old guy (2 hrs later) hi chloe (who's chloe? So jealous now of this mysterious person I'll have to reply) will be in *names my town* tom r nit e can we meet xxx
Old guy (6 mins) : will 10 o c tom r nit be ok wit yu to meet love xxx
Next day
Old guy: hello love how yu hop yu well and enjoying the nice sun weather (it's lashing out) can i met yu xxx
Next day
Old guy: hello love how yu hop yu enjoying de good weather (still raining where is he??) Wish u spa good day xxx
Next day (note I updated pics on ad and now available for outcalls in my area)
Old guy :hello love how do yu do are yu irish (we've met, he obviously has no Idea it's me, same number) we d love to meet yu
Me: (i gave in) we have meet before (insert his name)
Old guy (2 mins) how yu keepin love grey to hear from you hope yu well pet xxx
Old guy (4 mins) hi chloe (who is she??) darling hope yu well seen u add do yu do out call s xxx
Me: not as far as (his town, 2 hrs away)
Old guy: o pity wu d love to go to bed wit yu as yu are a lovely girl xxxx
Old guy (1 min): hope we can arrange something darling dat we can meet and go to bed wit yu and make love and kiss you (eww) xxx
Next day
Old guy:hi darling how yu hope yu r day was ok how far do yu travel for outcalls xxx (my add clearly states this
)
Next day
Old guy: hi love how yu hope ur day was ok take care darling xxx kiss u
Today (I mean wtf!!!!!)
Old guy: hi love how yu to day hope yu are well love to meet yu and go to bed wit yu and make love to yu is dare any place we can meet love xxx ( yes if you make a direct appointment
)
Old guy (12 mins later) : hi darling let me kno if we can arrange n g e to meet some ware dat we can go to bed wu d love if we can love xxx
My guy should win just from me transcribing this conversation
