When they don't know how to press the intercom button to your flat correctly …….Flat 15......so they press flat 1 and Flat 5 

Here's a fun one.
Recently I had a client who was friendly enough and we were having a nice enough session. I was on all fours and he asked if he could finish on my back, so I said yes. He took off his condom and then proceeded to shoot his load straight away, all over my lady area.

I cleaned up and asked him to leave and he did, and he was very apologetic saying that he didn't expect to finish that quickly after taking off the condom.
Anyway the next day I get some flowers delivered to my work address. He addressed them to "Miss Harriet Smith" not knowing my surname of course. And the card just read "Sorry about what happened, hope to see you again soon. <name of client as I knew him>

I mean it's a sweet gesture that I Wasn't expecting but still, I'm pretty strict about the rule regarding no semen in, on, or around my genitals.

Here's a fun one.
Recently I had a client who was friendly enough and we were having a nice enough session. I was on all fours and he asked if he could finish on my back, so I said yes. He took off his condom and then proceeded to shoot his load straight away, all over my lady area.

I cleaned up and asked him to leave and he did, and he was very apologetic saying that he didn't expect to finish that quickly after taking off the condom.
Anyway the next day I get some flowers delivered to my work address. He addressed them to "Miss Harriet Smith" not knowing my surname of course. And the card just read "Sorry about what happened, hope to see you again soon. <name of client as I knew him>

I mean it's a sweet gesture that I Wasn't expecting but still, I'm pretty strict about the rule regarding no semen in, on, or around my genitals.

That's when you drop onto your tummy & cover yourself with your hand. I'd never let a client finish on my back unless I was in a prone position. They just can't be trusted in the heat of the moment. They are thick as shit to think they can shoot their load onto genitals & it will be acceptable to us.

Had a neck slobberer yesterday, he went toward my throat after drooling down my left side for what seemed like 20 minutes. I pulled away with my throat being such a sensitive area. He then started to make passive aggressive comments about making "a list on the wall of what I don't like" & "what do you like?" &  "Oh I best be careful because you ladies react to every comment like this" Booking didn't go well after that needless to say. Assclown.

When they text to ask whether I'm available and say please let me know. So when I respond they don't reply to acknowledge my response.

That really does irritate me 

Oh yes! The only wet thing I want near me is my bottle of lube. I had dick dribble all up my arm yesterday, that was unpleasant.

I had someone last week who's dick constantly dribbled quite heavily  He had paid extra for OWO, so I felt obliged to spray it (yes, spray - with a baby sanitiser   ) douse it with strawberry lube regularly and, to coin the phrase, suck it up
Relations soured when, as he massaged my front, (not keen on that, but he requested I turn over) he continues to dribble his cock all over my stomach and as close as he could get to my inner legs.
I promptly stuck half a box of his tissues there and kept my hand on guard.
Aren't some clients just dirty little chancers? 

He was in his 60's too. A very seasoned punter and old enough to know better.

I had someone last week who's dick constantly dribbled quite heavily  He had paid extra for OWO, so I felt obliged to spray it (yes, spray - with a baby sanitiser   ) douse it with strawberry lube regularly and, to coin the phrase, suck it up
Relations soured when, as he massaged my front, (not keen on that, but he requested I turn over) he continues to dribble his cock all over my stomach and as close as he could get to my inner legs.
I promptly stuck half a box of his tissues there and kept my hand on guard.
Aren't some clients just dirty little chancers? 

He was in his 60's too. A very seasoned punter and old enough to know better.

Ouch!! Baby sanitizer? Surely it would burn or be uncomfortable? My ex partner accidentally used hand sanitizer on me once, thinking it was lube, and it was agony.
I’m sure men shouldn’t use soaps and products on their bits (apart from ones that specifically say unperfumed, lubes etc), just like we shouldn’t. It unbalances the PH and can cause thrush etc.
Please correct me if I’m wrong.

Ouch!! Baby sanitizer? Surely it would burn or be uncomfortable? My ex partner accidentally used hand sanitizer on me once, thinking it was lube, and it was agony.
I’m sure men shouldn’t use soaps and products on their bits (apart from ones that specifically say unperfumed, lubes etc), just like we shouldn’t. It unbalances the PH and can cause thrush etc.
Please correct me if I’m wrong.

Oh yes, the hand sanitisers are too strong even to use on my own hands. I can't use even the mildest of those, they make my skin feel raw.

Not saying I am not wrong with the baby spray though..

Never had any complaints and they say they like the shock of the cold followed by the warmth..